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diff --git a/old/idiot10.txt b/old/idiot10.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..228c06e --- /dev/null +++ b/old/idiot10.txt @@ -0,0 +1,29236 @@ +****The Project Gutenberg Etext of The Idiot, by Dostoevsky**** +#5 in our series by Fyodor Dostoevsky +Fyodor Dostoyevsky Dostoieffsky, Dostoevsky, Etc. & Feodor/Fe"do] + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world, be sure to check +the copyright laws for your country before posting these files!! + +Please take a look at the important information in this header. +We encourage you to keep this file on your own disk, keeping an +electronic path open for the next readers. Do not remove this. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**Etexts Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*These Etexts Prepared By Hundreds of Volunteers and Donations* + +Information on contacting Project Gutenberg to get Etexts, and +further information is included below. We need your donations. + + +Title: The Idiot + +Author: Fyodor Dostoyevsky +Author: Fyodor Dostoyevsky Dostoieffsky, Dostoevsky, Etc. & Feodor/Fe"do] + +Translator: Eva Martin + +May, 2001 [Etext #2638] + + +****The Project Gutenberg Etext of The Idiot, by Dostoevsky**** +*****This file should be named idiot10.txt or idiot10.zip****** + +Corrected EDITIONS of our etexts get a new NUMBER, idiot11.txt +VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, idiot10a.txt + + +Prepared by Martin Adamson +martin@grassmarket.freeserve.co.uk + +Project Gutenberg Etexts are usually created from multiple editions, +all of which are in the Public Domain in the United States, unless a +copyright notice is included. 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FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.04.29.93*END* + + + + + +Scanned by Martin Adamson +martin@grassmarket.freeserve.co.uk + + + + + +The Idiot + +by Fyodor Dostoyevsky + + + + +Translated by Eva Martin + + + + +PART I + +I. + +Towards the end of November, during a thaw, at nine o'clock one +morning, a train on the Warsaw and Petersburg railway was +approaching the latter city at full speed. The morning was so +damp and misty that it was only with great difficulty that the +day succeeded in breaking; and it was impossible to distinguish +anything more than a few yards away from the carriage windows. + +Some of the passengers by this particular train were returning +from abroad; but the third-class carriages were the best filled, +chiefly with insignificant persons of various occupations and +degrees, picked up at the different stations nearer town. All of +them seemed weary, and most of them had sleepy eyes and a +shivering expression, while their complexions generally appeared +to have taken on the colour of the fog outside. + +When day dawned, two passengers in one of the third-class +carriages found themselves opposite each other. Both were young +fellows, both were rather poorly dressed, both had remarkable +faces, and both were evidently anxious to start a conversation. +If they had but known why, at this particular moment, they were +both remarkable persons, they would undoubtedly have wondered at +the strange chance which had set them down opposite to one +another in a third-class carriage of the Warsaw Railway Company. + +One of them was a young fellow of about twenty-seven, not tall, +with black curling hair, and small, grey, fiery eyes. His nose +was broad and flat, and he had high cheek bones; his thin lips +were constantly compressed into an impudent, ironical--it might +almost be called a malicious--smile; but his forehead was high +and well formed, and atoned for a good deal of the ugliness of +the lower part of his face. A special feature of this physiognomy +was its death-like pallor, which gave to the whole man an +indescribably emaciated appearance in spite of his hard look, and +at the same time a sort of passionate and suffering expression +which did not harmonize with his impudent, sarcastic smile and +keen, self-satisfied bearing. He wore a large fur--or rather +astrachan--overcoat, which had kept him warm all night, while his +neighbour had been obliged to bear the full severity of a Russian +November night entirely unprepared. His wide sleeveless mantle +with a large cape to it--the sort of cloak one sees upon +travellers during the winter months in Switzerland or North +Italy--was by no means adapted to the long cold journey through +Russia, from Eydkuhnen to St. Petersburg. + +The wearer of this cloak was a young fellow, also of about +twenty-six or twenty-seven years of age, slightly above the +middle height, very fair, with a thin, pointed and very light +coloured beard; his eyes were large and blue, and had an intent +look about them, yet that heavy expression which some people +affirm to be a peculiarity. as well as evidence, of an epileptic +subject. His face was decidedly a pleasant one for all that; +refined, but quite colourless, except for the circumstance that +at this moment it was blue with cold. He held a bundle made up of +an old faded silk handkerchief that apparently contained all his +travelling wardrobe, and wore thick shoes and gaiters, his whole +appearance being very un-Russian. + +His black-haired neighbour inspected these peculiarities, having +nothing better to do, and at length remarked, with that rude +enjoyment of the discomforts of others which the common classes +so often show: + +"Cold?" + +"Very," said his neighbour, readily. "and this is a thaw, too. +Fancy if it had been a hard frost! I never thought it would be so +cold in the old country. I've grown quite out of the way of it." + +"What, been abroad, I suppose?" + +"Yes, straight from Switzerland." + +"Wheugh! my goodness!" The black-haired young fellow whistled, +and then laughed. + +The conversation proceeded. The readiness of the fair-haired +young man in the cloak to answer all his opposite neighbour's +questions was surprising. He seemed to have no suspicion of any +impertinence or inappropriateness in the fact of such questions +being put to him. Replying to them, he made known to the inquirer +that he certainly had been long absent from Russia, more than +four years; that he had been sent abroad for his health; that he +had suffered from some strange nervous malady--a kind of +epilepsy, with convulsive spasms. His interlocutor burst out +laughing several times at his answers; and more than ever, when +to the question, " whether he had been cured?" the patient +replied: + +"No, they did not cure me." + +"Hey! that's it! You stumped up your money for nothing, and we +believe in those fellows, here!" remarked the black-haired +individual, sarcastically. + +"Gospel truth, sir, Gospel truth!" exclaimed another passenger, a +shabbily dressed man of about forty, who looked like a clerk, and +possessed a red nose and a very blotchy face. "Gospel truth! All +they do is to get hold of our good Russian money free, gratis, +and for nothing. " + +"Oh, but you're quite wrong in my particular instance," said the +Swiss patient, quietly. "Of course I can't argue the matter, +because I know only my own case; but my doctor gave me money--and +he had very little--to pay my journey back, besides having kept +me at his own expense, while there, for nearly two years." + +"Why? Was there no one else to pay for you?" asked the black- +haired one. + +"No--Mr. Pavlicheff, who had been supporting me there, died a +couple of years ago. I wrote to Mrs. General Epanchin at the time +(she is a distant relative of mine), but she did not answer my +letter. And so eventually I came back." + +"And where have you come to?" + +"That is--where am I going to stay? I--I really don't quite know +yet, I--" + +Both the listeners laughed again. + +"I suppose your whole set-up is in that bundle, then?" asked the +first. + +"I bet anything it is!" exclaimed the red-nosed passenger, with +extreme satisfaction, "and that he has precious little in the +luggage van!--though of course poverty is no crime--we must +remember that!" + +It appeared that it was indeed as they had surmised. The young +fellow hastened to admit the fact with wonderful readiness. + +"Your bundle has some importance, however," continued the clerk, +when they had laughed their fill (it was observable that the +subject of their mirth joined in the laughter when he saw them +laughing); "for though I dare say it is not stuffed full of +friedrichs d'or and louis d'or--judge from your costume and +gaiters--still--if you can add to your possessions such a +valuable property as a relation like Mrs. General Epanchin, then +your bundle becomes a significant object at once. That is, of +course, if you really are a relative of Mrs. Epanchin's, and have +not made a little error through--well, absence of mind, which is +very common to human beings; or, say--through a too luxuriant +fancy?" + +"Oh, you are right again," said the fair-haired traveller, "for I +really am ALMOST wrong when I say she and I are related. She is +hardly a relation at all; so little, in fact, that I was not in +the least surprised to have no answer to my letter. I expected as +much." + +"H'm! you spent your postage for nothing, then. H'm! you are +candid, however--and that is commendable. H'm! Mrs. Epanchin--oh +yes! a most eminent person. I know her. As for Mr. Pavlicheff, +who supported you in Switzerland, I know him too--at least, if it +was Nicolai Andreevitch of that name? A fine fellow he was--and +had a property of four thousand souls in his day." + +"Yes, Nicolai Andreevitch--that was his name," and the young +fellow looked earnestly and with curiosity at the all-knowing +gentleman with the red nose. + +This sort of character is met with pretty frequently in a certain +class. They are people who know everyone--that is, they know +where a man is employed, what his salary is, whom he knows, whom +he married, what money his wife had, who are his cousins, and +second cousins, etc., etc. These men generally have about a +hundred pounds a year to live on, and they spend their whole time +and talents in the amassing of this style of knowledge, which +they reduce--or raise--to the standard of a science. + +During the latter part of the conversation the black-haired young +man had become very impatient. He stared out of the window, and +fidgeted, and evidently longed for the end of the journey. He was +very absent; he would appear to listen-and heard nothing; and he +would laugh of a sudden, evidently with no idea of what he was +laughing about. + +"Excuse me," said the red-nosed man to the young fellow with the +bundle, rather suddenly; "whom have I the honour to be talking +to?" + +"Prince Lef Nicolaievitch Muishkin," replied the latter, with +perfect readiness. + +"Prince Muishkin? Lef Nicolaievitch? H'm! I don't know, I'm sure! +I may say I have never heard of such a person," said the clerk, +thoughtfully. "At least, the name, I admit, is historical. +Karamsin must mention the family name, of course, in his history- +-but as an individual--one never hears of any Prince Muishkin +nowadays." + +"Of course not," replied the prince; "there are none, except +myself. I believe I am the last and only one. As to my +forefathers, they have always been a poor lot; my own father was +a sublieutenant in the army. I don't know how Mrs. Epanchin comes +into the Muishkin family, but she is descended from the Princess +Muishkin, and she, too, is the last of her line." + +"And did you learn science and all that, with your professor over +there?" asked the black-haired passenger. + +"Oh yes--I did learn a little, but--" + +"I've never learned anything whatever," said the other. + +"Oh, but I learned very little, you know!" added the prince, as +though excusing himself. "They could not teach me very much on +account of my illness. " + +"Do you know the Rogojins?" asked his questioner, abruptly. + +"No, I don't--not at all! I hardly know anyone in Russia. Why, is +that your name?" + +"Yes, I am Rogojin, Parfen Rogojin." + +"Parfen Rogojin? dear me--then don't you belong to those very +Rogojins, perhaps--" began the clerk, with a very perceptible +increase of civility in his tone. + +"Yes--those very ones," interrupted Rogojin, impatiently, and +with scant courtesy. I may remark that he had not once taken any +notice of the blotchy-faced passenger, and had hitherto addressed +all his remarks direct to the prince. + +"Dear me--is it possible?" observed the clerk, while his face +assumed an expression of great deference and servility--if not of +absolute alarm: "what, a son of that very Semen Rogojin-- +hereditary honourable citizen--who died a month or so ago and +left two million and a half of roubles?" + +"And how do YOU know that he left two million and a half of +roubles?" asked Rogojin, disdainfully, and no deigning so much as +to look at the other. "However, it's true enough that my father +died a month ago, and that here am I returning from Pskoff, a +month after, with hardly a boot to my foot. They've treated me like +a dog! I've been ill of fever at Pskoff the whole time, and not a +line, nor farthing of money, have I received from my mother or my +confounded brother!" + +"And now you'll have a million roubles, at least--goodness +gracious me!" exclaimed the clerk, rubbing his hands. + +"Five weeks since, I was just like yourself," continued Rogojin, +addressing the prince, "with nothing but a bundle and the clothes +I wore. I ran away from my father and came to Pskoff to my aunt's +house, where I caved in at once with fever, and he went and died +while I was away. All honour to my respected father's memory--but +he uncommonly nearly killed me, all the same. Give you my word, +prince, if I hadn't cut and run then, when I did, he'd have +murdered me like a dog." + +"I suppose you angered him somehow?" asked the prince, looking at +the millionaire with considerable curiosity But though there may +have been something remarkable in the fact that this man was heir +to millions of roubles there was something about him which +surprised and interested the prince more than that. Rogojin, too, +seemed to have taken up the conversation with unusual alacrity it +appeared that he was still in a considerable state of excitement, +if not absolutely feverish, and was in real need of someone to +talk to for the mere sake of talking, as safety-valve to his +agitation. + +As for his red-nosed neighbour, the latter--since the information +as to the identity of Rogojin--hung over him, seemed to be living +on the honey of his words and in the breath of his nostrils, +catching at every syllable as though it were a pearl of great +price. + +"Oh, yes; I angered him--I certainly did anger him," replied +Rogojin. "But what puts me out so is my brother. Of course my +mother couldn't do anything--she's too old--and whatever brother +Senka says is law for her! But why couldn't he let me know? He +sent a telegram, they say. What's the good of a telegram? It +frightened my aunt so that she sent it back to the office +unopened, and there it's been ever since! It's only thanks to +Konief that I heard at all; he wrote me all about it. He says my +brother cut off the gold tassels from my father's coffin, at +night because they're worth a lot of money!' says he. Why, I can +get him sent off to Siberia for that alone, if I like; it's +sacrilege. Here, you--scarecrow!" he added, addressing the clerk +at his side, "is it sacrilege or not, by law?' + +"Sacrilege, certainly--certainly sacrilege," said the latter. + +"And it's Siberia for sacrilege, isn't it?" + +"Undoubtedly so; Siberia, of course!" + +"They will think that I'm still ill," continued Rogojin to the +prince, "but I sloped off quietly, seedy as I was, took the train +and came away. Aha, brother Senka, you'll have to open your gates +and let me in, my boy! I know he told tales about me to my +father--I know that well enough but I certainly did rile my +father about Nastasia Philipovna that's very sure, and that was +my own doing." + +"Nastasia Philipovna?" said the clerk, as though trying to think +out something. + +"Come, you know nothing about HER," said Rogojin, impatiently. + +"And supposing I do know something?" observed the other, +triumphantly. + +"Bosh! there are plenty of Nastasia Philipovnas. And what an +impertinent beast you are!" he added angrily. "I thought some +creature like you would hang on to me as soon as I got hold of my +money. " + +"Oh, but I do know, as it happens," said the clerk in an +aggravating manner. "Lebedeff knows all about her. You are +pleased to reproach me, your excellency, but what if I prove that +I am right after all? Nastasia Phillpovna's family name is +Barashkoff--I know, you see-and she is a very well known lady, +indeed, and comes of a good family, too. She is connected with +one Totski, Afanasy Ivanovitch, a man of considerable property, a +director of companies, and so on, and a great friend of General +Epanchin, who is interested in the same matters as he is." + +"My eyes!" said Rogojin, really surprised at last. "The devil +take the fellow, how does he know that?" + +"Why, he knows everything--Lebedeff knows everything! I was a +month or two with Lihachof after his father died, your +excellency, and while he was knocking about--he's in the debtor's +prison now--I was with him, and he couldn't do a thing without +Lebedeff; and I got to know Nastasia Philipovna and several +people at that time." + +"Nastasia Philipovna? Why, you don't mean to say that she and +Lihachof--" cried Rogojin, turning quite pale. + +"No, no, no, no, no! Nothing of the sort, I assure you!" said +Lebedeff, hastily. "Oh dear no, not for the world! Totski's the +only man with any chance there. Oh, no! He takes her to his box +at the opera at the French theatre of an evening, and the +officers and people all look at her and say, 'By Jove, there's +the famous Nastasia Philipovna!' but no one ever gets any further +than that, for there is nothing more to say." + +"Yes, it's quite true," said Rogojin, frowning gloomily; "so +Zaleshoff told me. I was walking about the Nefsky one fine day, +prince, in my father's old coat, when she suddenly came out of a +shop and stepped into her carriage. I swear I was all of a blaze +at once. Then I met Zaleshoff--looking like a hair-dresser's +assistant, got up as fine as I don't know who, while I looked +like a tinker. 'Don't flatter yourself, my boy,' said he; 'she's +not for such as you; she's a princess, she is, and her name is +Nastasia Philipovna Barashkoff, and she lives with Totski, who +wishes to get rid of her because he's growing rather old--fifty- +five or so--and wants to marry a certain beauty, the loveliest +woman in all Petersburg.' And then he told me that I could see +Nastasia Philipovna at the opera-house that evening, if I liked, +and described which was her box. Well, I'd like to see my father +allowing any of us to go to the theatre; he'd sooner have killed +us, any day. However, I went for an hour or so and saw Nastasia +Philipovna, and I never slept a wink all night after. Next +morning my father happened to give me two government loan bonds +to sell, worth nearly five thousand roubles each. 'Sell them,' +said he, 'and then take seven thousand five hundred roubles to +the office, give them to the cashier, and bring me back the rest +of the ten thousand, without looking in anywhere on the way; look +sharp, I shall be waiting for you.' Well, I sold the bonds, but I +didn't take the seven thousand roubles to the office; I went +straight to the English shop and chose a pair of earrings, with a +diamond the size of a nut in each. They cost four hundred roubles +more than I had, so I gave my name, and they trusted me. With the +earrings I went at once to Zaleshoff's. 'Come on!' I said, 'come +on to Nastasia Philipovna's,' and off we went without more ado. I +tell you I hadn't a notion of what was about me or before me or +below my feet all the way; I saw nothing whatever. We went +straight into her drawing-room, and then she came out to us. + +"I didn't say right out who I was, but Zaleshoff said: 'From +Parfen Rogojin, in memory of his first meeting with you +yesterday; be so kind as to accept these!' + +"She opened the parcel, looked at the earrings, and laughed. + +"'Thank your friend Mr. Rogojin for his kind attention,' says +she, and bowed and went off. Why didn't I die there on the spot? +The worst of it all was, though, that the beast Zaleshoff got all +the credit of it! I was short and abominably dressed, and stood +and stared in her face and never said a word, because I was shy, +like an ass! And there was he all in the fashion, pomaded and +dressed out, with a smart tie on, bowing and scraping; and I bet +anything she took him for me all the while! + +"'Look here now,' I said, when we came out, 'none of your +interference here after this-do you understand?' He laughed: 'And +how are you going to settle up with your father?' says he. I +thought I might as well jump into the Neva at once without going +home first; but it struck me that I wouldn't, after all, and I +went home feeling like one of the damned." + +"My goodness!" shivered the clerk. "And his father," he added, +for the prince's instruction, "and his father would have given a +man a ticket to the other world for ten roubles any day--not to +speak of ten thousand!" + +The prince observed Rogojin with great curiosity; he seemed paler +than ever at this moment. + +"What do you know about it?" cried the latter. "Well, my father +learned the whole story at once, and Zaleshoff blabbed it all +over the town besides. So he took me upstairs and locked me up, +and swore at me for an hour. 'This is only a foretaste,' says he; +'wait a bit till night comes, and I'll come back and talk to you +again.' + +"Well, what do you think? The old fellow went straight off to +Nastasia Philipovna, touched the floor with his forehead, and +began blubbering and beseeching her on his knees to give him back +the diamonds. So after awhile she brought the box and flew out at +him. 'There,' she says, 'take your earrings, you wretched old +miser; although they are ten times dearer than their value to me +now that I know what it must have cost Parfen to get them! Give +Parfen my compliments,' she says, 'and thank him very much!' +Well, I meanwhile had borrowed twenty-five roubles from a friend, +and off I went to Pskoff to my aunt's. The old woman there +lectured me so that I left the house and went on a drinking tour +round the public-houses of the place. I was in a high fever when +I got to Pskoff, and by nightfall I was lying delirious in the +streets somewhere or other!" + +"Oho! we'll make Nastasia Philipovna sing another song now!" +giggled Lebedeff, rubbing his hands with glee. "Hey, my boy, +we'll get her some proper earrings now! We'll get her such +earrings that--" + +"Look here," cried Rogojin, seizing him fiercely by the arm, +"look here, if you so much as name Nastasia Philipovna again, +I'll tan your hide as sure as you sit there!" + +"Aha! do--by all means! if you tan my hide you won't turn me away +from your society. You'll bind me to you, with your lash, for +ever. Ha, ha! here we are at the station, though." + +Sure enough, the train was just steaming in as he spoke. + +Though Rogojin had declared that he left Pskoff secretly, a large +collection of friends had assembled to greet him, and did so with +profuse waving of hats and shouting. + +"Why, there's Zaleshoff here, too!" he muttered, gazing at the +scene with a sort of triumphant but unpleasant smile. Then he +suddenly turned to the prince: "Prince, I don't know why I have +taken a fancy to you; perhaps because I met you just when I did. +But no, it can't be that, for I met this fellow " (nodding at +Lebedeff) "too, and I have not taken a fancy to him by any means. +Come to see me, prince; we'll take off those gaiters of yours and +dress you up in a smart fur coat, the best we can buy. You shall +have a dress coat, best quality, white waistcoat, anything you +like, and your pocket shall be full of money. Come, and you shall +go with me to Nastasia Philipovna's. Now then will you come or +no?" + +"Accept, accept, Prince Lef Nicolaievitch" said Lebedef solemnly; +"don't let it slip! Accept, quick!" + +Prince Muishkin rose and stretched out his hand courteously, +while he replied with some cordiality: + +"I will come with the greatest pleasure, and thank you very much +for taking a fancy to me. I dare say I may even come today if I +have time, for I tell you frankly that I like you very much too. +I liked you especially when you told us about the diamond +earrings; but I liked you before that as well, though you have +such a dark-clouded sort of face. Thanks very much for the offer +of clothes and a fur coat; I certainly shall require both clothes +and coat very soon. As for money, I have hardly a copeck about me +at this moment." + +"You shall have lots of money; by the evening I shall have +plenty; so come along!" + +"That's true enough, he'll have lots before evening!" put in +Lebedeff. + +"But, look here, are you a great hand with the ladies? Let's know +that first?" asked Rogojin. + +"Oh no, oh no! said the prince; "I couldn't, you know--my +illness--I hardly ever saw a soul." + +"H'm! well--here, you fellow-you can come along with me now if +you like!" cried Rogojin to Lebedeff, and so they all left the +carriage. + +Lebedeff had his desire. He went off with the noisy group of +Rogojin's friends towards the Voznesensky, while the prince's +route lay towards the Litaynaya. It was damp and wet. The prince +asked his way of passers-by, and finding that he was a couple of +miles or so from his destination, he determined to take a +droshky. + +II. + +General Epanchin lived in his own house near the Litaynaya. +Besides this large residence--five-sixths of which was let in +flats and lodgings-the general was owner of another enormous +house in the Sadovaya bringing in even more rent than the first. +Besides these houses he had a delightful little estate just out +of town, and some sort of factory in another part of the city. +General Epanchin, as everyone knew, had a good deal to do with +certain government monopolies; he was also a voice, and an +important one, in many rich public companies of various +descriptions; in fact, he enjoyed the reputation of being a well- +to-do man of busy habits, many ties, and affluent means. He had +made himself indispensable in several quarters, amongst others in +his department of the government; and yet it was a known fact +that Fedor Ivanovitch Epanchin was a man of no education +whatever, and had absolutely risen from the ranks. + +This last fact could, of course, reflect nothing but credit upon +the general; and yet, though unquestionably a sagacious man, he +had his own little weaknesses-very excusable ones,--one of which +was a dislike to any allusion to the above circumstance. He was +undoubtedly clever. For instance, he made a point of never +asserting himself when he would gain more by keeping in the +background; and in consequence many exalted personages valued him +principally for his humility and simplicity, and because "he knew +his place." And yet if these good people could only have had a +peep into the mind of this excellent fellow who "knew his place" +so well! The fact is that, in spite of his knowledge of the world +and his really remarkable abilities, he always liked to appear to +be carrying out other people's ideas rather than his own. And +also, his luck seldom failed him, even at cards, for which he had +a passion that he did not attempt to conceal. He played for high +stakes, and moved, altogether, in very varied society. + +As to age, General Epanchin was in the very prime of life; that +is, about fifty-five years of age,--the flowering time of +existence, when real enjoyment of life begins. His healthy +appearance, good colour, sound, though discoloured teeth, sturdy +figure, preoccupied air during business hours, and jolly good +humour during his game at cards in the evening, all bore witness +to his success in life, and combined to make existence a bed of +roses to his excellency. The general was lord of a flourishing +family, consisting of his wife and three grown-up daughters. He +had married young, while still a lieutenant, his wife being a +girl of about his own age, who possessed neither beauty nor +education, and who brought him no more than fifty souls of landed +property, which little estate served, however, as a nest-egg for +far more important accumulations. The general never regretted his +early marriage, or regarded it as a foolish youthful escapade; +and he so respected and feared his wife that he was very near +loving her. Mrs. Epanchin came of the princely stock of Muishkin, +which if not a brilliant, was, at all events, a decidedly ancient +family; and she was extremely proud of her descent. + +With a few exceptions, the worthy couple had lived through their +long union very happily. While still young the wife had been able +to make important friends among the aristocracy, partly by virtue +of her family descent, and partly by her own exertions; while, in +after life, thanks to their wealth and to the position of her +husband in the service, she took her place among the higher +circles as by right. + +During these last few years all three of the general's daughters- +Alexandra, Adelaida, and Aglaya--had grown up and matured. Of +course they were only Epanchins, but their mother's family was +noble; they might expect considerable fortunes; their father had +hopes of attaining to very high rank indeed in his country's +service-all of which was satisfactory. All three of the girls +were decidedly pretty, even the eldest, Alexandra, who was just +twenty-five years old. The middle daughter was now twenty-three, +while the youngest, Aglaya, was twenty. This youngest girl was +absolutely a beauty, and had begun of late to attract +considerable attention in society. But this was not all, for every +one of the three was clever, well educated, and accomplished. + +It was a matter of general knowledge that the three girls were +very fond of one another, and supported each other in every way; +it was even said that the two elder ones had made certain +sacrifices for the sake of the idol of the household, Aglaya. In +society they not only disliked asserting themselves, but were +actually retiring. Certainly no one could blame them for being +too arrogant or haughty, and yet everybody was well aware that +they were proud and quite understood their own value. The eldest +was musical, while the second was a clever artist, which fact she +had concealed until lately. In a word, the world spoke well of +the girls; but they were not without their enemies, and +occasionally people talked with horror of the number of books +they had read. + +They were in no hurry to marry. They liked good society, but were +not too keen about it. All this was the more remarkable, because +everyone was well aware of the hopes and aims of their parents. + +It was about eleven o'clock in the forenoon when the prince rang +the bell at General Epanchin's door. The general lived on the +first floor or flat of the house, as modest a lodging as his +position permitted. A liveried servant opened the door, and the +prince was obliged to enter into long explanations with this +gentleman, who, from the first glance, looked at him and his +bundle with grave suspicion. At last, however, on the repeated +positive assurance that he really was Prince Muishkin, and must +absolutely see the general on business, the bewildered domestic +showed him into a little ante-chamber leading to a waiting-room +that adjoined the general's study, there handing him over to +another servant, whose duty it was to be in this ante-chamber +all the morning, and announce visitors to the general. This +second individual wore a dress coat, and was some forty years of +age; he was the general's special study servant, and well aware +of his own importance. + +"Wait in the next room, please; and leave your bundle here," said +the door-keeper, as he sat down comfortably in his own easy-chair +in the ante-chamber. He looked at the prince in severe surprise +as the latter settled himself in another chair alongside, with +his bundle on his knees. + +"If you don't mind, I would rather sit here with you," said the +prince; "I should prefer it to sitting in there." + +"Oh, but you can't stay here. You are a visitor--a guest, so to +speak. Is it the general himself you wish to see?" + +The man evidently could not take in the idea of such a shabby- +looking visitor, and had decided to ask once more. + +"Yes--I have business--" began the prince. + +"I do not ask you what your business may be, all I have to do is +to announce you; and unless the secretary comes in here I cannot +do that." + +The man's suspicions seemed to increase more and more. The prince +was too unlike the usual run of daily visitors; and although the +general certainly did receive, on business, all sorts and +conditions of men, yet in spite of this fact the servant felt +great doubts on the subject of this particular visitor. The +presence of the secretary as an intermediary was, he judged, +essential in this case. + +"Surely you--are from abroad?" he inquired at last, in a confused +sort of way. He had begun his sentence intending to say, "Surely +you are not Prince Muishkin, are you?" + +"Yes, straight from the train! Did not you intend to say, 'Surely +you are not Prince Muishkin?' just now, but refrained out of +politeness ?" + +"H'm!" grunted the astonished servant. + +"I assure you I am not deceiving you; you shall not have to +answer for me. As to my being dressed like this, and carrying a +bundle, there's nothing surprising in that--the fact is, my +circumstances are not particularly rosy at this moment." + +"H'm!--no, I'm not afraid of that, you see; I have to announce +you, that's all. The secretary will be out directly-that is, +unless you--yes, that's the rub--unless you--come, you must allow +me to ask you--you've not come to beg, have you?" + +"Oh dear no, you can be perfectly easy on that score. I have +quite another matter on hand." + +"You must excuse my asking, you know. Your appearance led me to +think--but just wait for the secretary; the general is busy now, +but the secretary is sure to come out." + +"Oh--well, look here, if I have some time to wait, would you mind +telling me, is there any place about where I could have a smoke? +I have my pipe and tobacco with me." + +"SMOKE?" said the man, in shocked but disdainful surprise, +blinking his eyes at the prince as though he could not believe +his senses." No, sir, you cannot smoke here, and I wonder you +are not ashamed of the very suggestion. Ha, ha! a cool idea that, +I declare!" + +"Oh, I didn't mean in this room! I know I can't smoke here, of +course. I'd adjourn to some other room, wherever you like to show +me to. You see, I'm used to smoking a good deal, and now I +haven't had a puff for three hours; however, just as you like." + +"Now how on earth am I to announce a man like that?" muttered the +servant. "In the first place, you've no right in here at all; you +ought to be in the waiting-room, because you're a sort of +visitor--a guest, in fact--and I shall catch it for this. Look +here, do you intend to take up you abode with us?" he added, +glancing once more at the prince's bundle, which evidently gave +him no peace. + +"No, I don't think so. I don't think I should stay even if they +were to invite me. I've simply come to make their acquaintance, +and nothing more." + +"Make their acquaintance?" asked the man, in amazement, and with +redoubled suspicion. "Then why did you say you had business with +the general?" + +"Oh well, very little business. There is one little matter--some +advice I am going to ask him for; but my principal object is +simply to introduce myself, because I am Prince Muishkin, and +Madame Epanchin is the last of her branch of the house, and +besides herself and me there are no other Muishkins left." + +"What--you're a relation then, are you?" asked the servant, so +bewildered that he began to feel quite alarmed. + +"Well, hardly so. If you stretch a point, we are relations, of +course, but so distant that one cannot really take cognizance of +it. I once wrote to your mistress from abroad, but she did not +reply. However, I have thought it right to make acquaintance with +her on my arrival. I am telling you all this in order to ease +your mind, for I see you are still far from comfortable on my +account. All you have to do is to announce me as Prince Muishkin, +and the object of my visit will be plain enough. If I am +received--very good; if not, well, very good again. But they are +sure to receive me, I should think; Madame Epanchin will +naturally be curious to see the only remaining representative of +her family. She values her Muishkin descent very highly, if I am +rightly informed." + +The prince's conversation was artless and confiding to a degree, +and the servant could not help feeling that as from visitor to +common serving-man this state of things was highly improper. His +conclusion was that one of two things must be the explanation-- +either that this was a begging impostor, or that the prince, if +prince he were, was simply a fool, without the slightest +ambition; for a sensible prince with any ambition would certainly +not wait about in ante-rooms with servants, and talk of his own +private affairs like this. In either case, how was he to announce +this singular visitor? + +"I really think I must request you to step into the next room!" +he said, with all the insistence he could muster. + +"Why? If I had been sitting there now, I should not have had the +opportunity of making these personal explanations. I see you are +still uneasy about me and keep eyeing my cloak and bundle. Don't +you think you might go in yourself now, without waiting for the +secretary to come out?" + +"No, no! I can't announce a visitor like yourself without the +secretary. Besides the general said he was not to be disturbed-- +he is with the Colonel C--. Gavrila Ardalionovitch goes in +without announcing." + +"Who may that be? a clerk?" + +"What? Gavrila Ardalionovitch? Oh no; he belongs to one of the +companies. Look here, at all events put your bundle down, here." + +"Yes, I will if I may; and--can I take off my cloak" + +"Of course; you can't go in THERE with it on, anyhow." + +The prince rose and took off his mantle, revealing a neat enough +morning costume--a little worn, but well made. He wore a steel +watch chain and from this chain there hung a silver Geneva watch. +Fool the prince might be, still, the general's servant felt that +it was not correct for him to continue to converse thus with a +visitor, in spite of the fact that the prince pleased him +somehow. + +"And what time of day does the lady receive?" the latter asked, +reseating himself in his old place. + +"Oh, that's not in my province! I believe she receives at any +time; it depends upon the visitors. The dressmaker goes in at +eleven. Gavrila Ardalionovitch is allowed much earlier than other +people, too; he is even admitted to early lunch now and then." + +"It is much warmer in the rooms here than it is abroad at this +season," observed the prince; " but it is much warmer there out +of doors. As for the houses--a Russian can't live in them in the +winter until he gets accustomed to them." + +"Don't they heat them at all?" + +"Well, they do heat them a little; but the houses and stoves are +so different to ours." + +"H'm! were you long away?" + +"Four years! and I was in the same place nearly all the time,--in +one village." + +"You must have forgotten Russia, hadn't you?" + +"Yes, indeed I had--a good deal; and, would you believe it, I +often wonder at myself for not having forgotten how to speak +Russian? Even now, as I talk to you, I keep saying to myself 'how +well I am speaking it.' Perhaps that is partly why I am so +talkative this morning. I assure you, ever since yesterday +evening I have had the strongest desire to go on and on talking +Russian." + +"H'm! yes; did you live in Petersburg in former years?" + +This good flunkey, in spite of his conscientious scruples, really +could not resist continuing such a very genteel and agreeable +conversation. + +"In Petersburg? Oh no! hardly at all, and now they say so much +is changed in the place that even those who did know it well are +obliged to relearn what they knew. They talk a good deal about +the new law courts, and changes there, don't they?" + +"H'm! yes, that's true enough. Well now, how is the law over +there, do they administer it more justly than here?" + +"Oh, I don't know about that! I've heard much that is good about +our legal administration, too. There is no capital punishment +here for one thing." + +"Is there over there?" + +"Yes--I saw an execution in France--at Lyons. Schneider took me +over with him to see it." + +"What, did they hang the fellow?" + +"No, they cut off people's heads in France." + +"What did the fellow do?--yell?" + +"Oh no--it's the work of an instant. They put a man inside a +frame and a sort of broad knife falls by machinery -they call the +thing a guillotine-it falls with fearful force and weight-the +head springs off so quickly that you can't wink your eye in +between. But all the preparations are so dreadful. When they +announce the sentence, you know, and prepare the criminal and tie +his hands, and cart him off to the scaffold--that's the fearful +part of the business. The people all crowd round--even women- +though they don't at all approve of women looking on." + +"No, it's not a thing for women." + +"Of course not--of course not!--bah! The criminal was a fine +intelligent fearless man; Le Gros was his name; and I may tell +you--believe it or not, as you like--that when that man stepped +upon the scaffold he CRIED, he did indeed,--he was as white as a +bit of paper. Isn't it a dreadful idea that he should have cried +--cried! Whoever heard of a grown man crying from fear--not a +child, but a man who never had cried before--a grown man of +forty-five years. Imagine what must have been going on in that +man's mind at such a moment; what dreadful convulsions his whole +spirit must have endured; it is an outrage on the soul that's +what it is. Because it is said 'thou shalt not kill,' is he to be +killed because he murdered some one else? No, it is not right, +it's an impossible theory. I assure you, I saw the sight a month +ago and it's dancing before my eyes to this moment. I dream of +it, often." + +The prince had grown animated as he spoke, and a tinge of colour +suffused his pale face, though his way of talking was as quiet as +ever. The servant followed his words with sympathetic interest. +Clearly he was not at all anxious to bring the conversation to an +end. Who knows? Perhaps he too was a man of imagination and with +some capacity for thought. + +"Well, at all events it is a good thing that there's no pain when +the poor fellow's head flies off," he remarked. + +"Do you know, though," cried the prince warmly, "you made that +remark now, and everyone says the same thing, and the machine is +designed with the purpose of avoiding pain, this guillotine I +mean; but a thought came into my head then: what if it be a bad +plan after all? You may laugh at my idea, perhaps--but I could +not help its occurring to me all the same. Now with the rack and +tortures and so on--you suffer terrible pain of course; but then +your torture is bodily pain only (although no doubt you have +plenty of that) until you die. But HERE I should imagine the most +terrible part of the whole punishment is, not the bodily pain at +all--but the certain knowledge that in an hour,--then in ten +minutes, then in half a minute, then now--this very INSTANT--your +soul must quit your body and that you will no longer be a man-- +and that this is certain, CERTAIN! That's the point--the +certainty of it. Just that instant when you place your head on +the block and hear the iron grate over your head--then--that +quarter of a second is the most awful of all. + +"This is not my own fantastical opinion--many people have thought +the same; but I feel it so deeply that I'll tell you what I +think. I believe that to execute a man for murder is to punish +him immeasurably more dreadfully than is equivalent to his crime. +A murder by sentence is far more dreadful than a murder committed +by a criminal. The man who is attacked by robbers at night, in a +dark wood, or anywhere, undoubtedly hopes and hopes that he may +yet escape until the very moment of his death. There are plenty +of instances of a man running away, or imploring for mercy--at +all events hoping on in some degree--even after his throat was +cut. But in the case of an execution, that last hope--having +which it is so immeasurably less dreadful to die,--is taken away +from the wretch and CERTAINTY substituted in its place! There is +his sentence, and with it that terrible certainty that he cannot +possibly escape death--which, I consider, must be the most +dreadful anguish in the world. You may place a soldier before a +cannon's mouth in battle, and fire upon him--and he will still +hope. But read to that same soldier his death-sentence, and he +will either go mad or burst into tears. Who dares to say that any +man can suffer this without going mad? No, no! it is an abuse, a +shame, it is unnecessary--why should such a thing exist? +Doubtless there may be men who have been sentenced, who have +suffered this mental anguish for a while and then have been +reprieved; perhaps such men may have been able to relate their +feelings afterwards. Our Lord Christ spoke of this anguish and +dread. No! no! no! No man should be treated so, no man, no man!" + +The servant, though of course he could not have expressed all +this as the prince did, still clearly entered into it and was +greatly conciliated, as was evident from the increased amiability +of his expression. "If you are really very anxious for a smoke," +he remarked, "I think it might possibly be managed, if you are +very quick about it. You see they might come out and inquire for +you, and you wouldn't be on the spot. You see that door there? Go +in there and you'll find a little room on the right; you can +smoke there, only open the window, because I ought not to allow +it really, and--." But there was no time, after all. + +A young fellow entered the ante-room at this moment, with a +bundle of papers in his hand. The footman hastened to help him +take off his overcoat. The new arrival glanced at the prince out +of the corners of his eyes. + +"This gentleman declares, Gavrila Ardalionovitch," began the man, +confidentially and almost familiarly, "that he is Prince Muishkin +and a relative of Madame Epanchin's. He has just arrived from +abroad, with nothing but a bundle by way of luggage--." + +The prince did not hear the rest, because at this point the +servant continued his communication in a whisper. + +Gavrila Ardalionovitch listened attentively, and gazed at the +prince with great curiosity. At last he motioned the man aside +and stepped hurriedly towards the prince. + +"Are you Prince Muishkin?" he asked, with the greatest courtesy +and amiability. + +He was a remarkably handsome young fellow of some twenty-eight +summers, fair and of middle height; he wore a small beard, and +his face was most intelligent. Yet his smile, in spite of its +sweetness, was a little thin, if I may so call it, and showed his +teeth too evenly; his gaze though decidedly good-humoured and +ingenuous, was a trifle too inquisitive and intent to be +altogether agreeable. + +"Probably when he is alone he looks quite different, and hardly +smiles at all!" thought the prince. + +He explained about himself in a few words, very much the same as +he had told the footman and Rogojin beforehand. + +Gavrila Ardalionovitch meanwhile seemed to be trying to recall +something. + +"Was it not you, then, who sent a letter a year or less ago--from +Switzerland, I think it was--to Elizabetha Prokofievna (Mrs. +Epanchin)?" + +"It was." + +"Oh, then, of course they will remember who you are. You wish to +see the general? I'll tell him at once--he will be free in a +minute; but you--you had better wait in the ante-chamber,--hadn't +you? Why is he here?" he added, severely, to the man. + +"I tell you, sir, he wished it himself!" + +At this moment the study door opened, and a military man, with a +portfolio under his arm, came out talking loudly, and after +bidding good-bye to someone inside, took his departure. + +"You there, Gania? cried a voice from the study, "come in here, +will you?" + +Gavrila Ardalionovitch nodded to the prince and entered the room +hastily. + +A couple of minutes later the door opened again and the affable +voice of Gania cried: + +"Come in please, prince!" + +III. + +General Ivan Fedorovitch Epanchin was standing In the middle of +the room, and gazed with great curiosity at the prince as he +entered. He even advanced a couple of steps to meet him. + +The prince came forward and introduced himself. + +"Quite so," replied the general, "and what can I do for you?" + +"Oh, I have no special business; my principal object was to make +your acquaintance. I should not like to disturb you. I do not +know your times and arrangements here, you see, but I have only +just arrived. I came straight from the station. I am come direct +from Switzerland." + +The general very nearly smiled, but thought better of it and kept +his smile back. Then he reflected, blinked his eyes, stared at his guest +once more from head to foot; then abruptly motioned him to a +chair, sat down himself, and waited with some impatience for the +prince to speak. + +Gania stood at his table in the far corner of the room, turning +over papers. + +"I have not much time for making acquaintances, as a rule," said +the general, "but as, of course, you have your object in coming, +I--" + +"I felt sure you would think I had some object in view when I +resolved to pay you this visit," the prince interrupted; "but I +give you my word, beyond the pleasure of making your acquaintance +I had no personal object whatever." + +"The pleasure is, of course, mutual; but life is not all +pleasure, as you are aware. There is such a thing as business, +and I really do not see what possible reason there can be, or +what we have in common to--" + +"Oh, there is no reason, of course, and I suppose there is +nothing in common between us, or very little; for if I am Prince +Muishkin, and your wife happens to be a member of my house, that +can hardly be called a 'reason.' I quite understand that. And yet +that was my whole motive for coming. You see I have not been in +Russia for four years, and knew very little about anything when I +left. I had been very ill for a long time, and I feel now the +need of a few good friends. In fact, I have a certain question +upon which I much need advice, and do not know whom to go to for +it. I thought of your family when I was passing through Berlin. +'They are almost relations,' I said to myself,' so I'll begin +with them; perhaps we may get on with each other, I with them and +they with me, if they are kind people;' and I have heard that you +are very kind people!" + +"Oh, thank you, thank you, I'm sure," replied the general, +considerably taken aback. "May I ask where you have taken up your +quarters?" + +"Nowhere, as yet." + +"What, straight from the station to my house? And how about your +luggage?" + +"I only had a small bundle, containing linen, with me, nothing +more. I can carry it in my hand, easily. There will be plenty of +time to take a room in some hotel by the evening." + +"Oh, then you DO intend to take a room?" + +"Of course." + +"To judge from your words, you came straight to my house with the +intention of staying there." + +"That could only have been on your invitation. I confess, +however, that I should not have stayed here even if you had +invited me, not for any particular reason, but because it is-- +well, contrary to my practice and nature, somehow." + +"Oh, indeed! Then it is perhaps as well that I neither DID invite +you, nor DO invite you now. Excuse me, prince, but we had better +make this matter clear, once for all. We have just agreed that +with regard to our relationship there is not much to be said, +though, of course, it would have been very delightful to us to +feel that such relationship did actually exist; therefore, +perhaps--" + +"Therefore, perhaps I had better get up and go away?" said the +prince, laughing merrily as he rose from his place; just as +merrily as though the circumstances were by no means strained or +difficult. "And I give you my word, general, that though I know +nothing whatever of manners and customs of society, and how +people live and all that, yet I felt quite sure that this visit +of mine would end exactly as it has ended now. Oh, well, I +suppose it's all right; especially as my letter was not answered. +Well, good-bye, and forgive me for having disturbed you!" + +The prince's expression was so good-natured at this moment, and +so entirely free from even a suspicion of unpleasant feeling was +the smile with which he looked at the general as he spoke, that +the latter suddenly paused, and appeared to gaze at his guest +from quite a new point of view, all in an instant. + +"Do you know, prince," he said, in quite a different tone, "I do +not know you at all, yet, and after all, Elizabetha Prokofievna +would very likely be pleased to have a peep at a man of her own +name. Wait a little, if you don't mind, and if you have time to +spare?" + +"Oh, I assure you I've lots of time, my time is entirely my own!" +And the prince immediately replaced his soft, round hat on the +table. "I confess, I thought Elizabetha Prokofievna would very +likely remember that I had written her a letter. Just now your +servant--outside there--was dreadfully suspicious that I had come +to beg of you. I noticed that! Probably he has very strict +instructions on that score; but I assure you I did not come to +beg. I came to make some friends. But I am rather bothered at +having disturbed you; that's all I care about.--" + +"Look here, prince," said the general, with a cordial smile, "if +you really are the sort of man you appear to be, it may be a +source of great pleasure to us to make your better acquaintance; +but, you see, I am a very busy man, and have to be perpetually +sitting here and signing papers, or off to see his excellency, or +to my department, or somewhere; so that though I should be glad +to see more of people, nice people--you see, I--however, I am +sure you are so well brought up that you will see at once, and-- +but how old are you, prince?" + +"Twenty-six." + +"No? I thought you very much younger." + +"Yes, they say I have a 'young' face. As to disturbing you I +shall soon learn to avoid doing that, for I hate disturbing +people. Besides, you and I are so differently constituted, I +should think, that there must be very little in common between +us. Not that I will ever believe there is NOTHING in common +between any two people, as some declare is the case. I am sure +people make a great mistake in sorting each other into groups, by +appearances; but I am boring you, I see, you--" + +"Just two words: have you any means at all? Or perhaps you may be +intending to undertake some sort of employment? Excuse my +questioning you, but--" + +"Oh, my dear sir, I esteem and understand your kindness in +putting the question. No; at present I have no means whatever, +and no employment either, but I hope to find some. I was living +on other people abroad. Schneider, the professor who treated me +and taught me, too, in Switzerland, gave me just enough money for +my journey, so that now I have but a few copecks left. There +certainly is one question upon which I am anxious to have advice, +but--" + +"Tell me, how do you intend to live now, and what are your +plans?" interrupted the general. + +"I wish to work, somehow or other." + +"Oh yes, but then, you see, you are a philosopher. Have you any +talents, or ability in any direction--that is, any that would +bring in money and bread? Excuse me again--" + +"Oh, don't apologize. No, I don't think I have either talents or +special abilities of any kind; on the contrary. I have always +been an invalid and unable to learn much. As for bread, I should +think--" + +The general interrupted once more with questions; while the +prince again replied with the narrative we have heard before. It +appeared that the general had known Pavlicheff; but why the +latter had taken an interest in the prince, that young gentleman +could not explain; probably by virtue of the old friendship with +his father, he thought. + +The prince had been left an orphan when quite a little child, and +Pavlicheff had entrusted him to an old lady, a relative of his +own, living in the country, the child needing the fresh air and +exercise of country life. He was educated, first by a governess, +and afterwards by a tutor, but could not remember much about this +time of his life. His fits were so frequent then, that they made +almost an idiot of him (the prince used the expression "idiot" +himself). Pavlicheff had met Professor Schneider in Berlin, and +the latter had persuaded him to send the boy to Switzerland, to +Schneider's establishment there, for the cure of his epilepsy, +and, five years before this time, the prince was sent off. But +Pavlicheff had died two or three years since, and Schneider had +himself supported the young fellow, from that day to this, at his +own expense. Although he had not quite cured him, he had greatly +improved his condition; and now, at last, at the prince's own +desire, and because of a certain matter which came to the ears of +the latter, Schneider had despatched the young man to Russia. + +The general was much astonished. + +"Then you have no one, absolutely NO one in Russia?" he asked. + +"No one, at present; but I hope to make friends; and then I have +a letter from--" + +"At all events," put in the general, not listening to the news +about the letter, "at all events, you must have learned +SOMETHING, and your malady would not prevent your undertaking +some easy work, in one of the departments, for instance? + +"Oh dear no, oh no! As for a situation, I should much like to +find one for I am anxious to discover what I really am fit for. I +have learned a good deal in the last four years, and, besides, I +read a great many Russian books." + +"Russian books, indeed ? Then, of course, you can read and write +quite correctly?" + +"Oh dear, yes!" + +"Capital! And your handwriting?" + +"Ah, there I am REALLY talented! I may say l am a real +caligraphist. Let me write you something, just to show you," said +the prince, with some excitement. + +"With pleasure! In fact, it is very necessary. I like your +readiness, prince; in fact, I must say--I-I-like you very well, +altogether," said the general. + +"What delightful writing materials you have here, such a lot of +pencils and things, and what beautiful paper! It's a charming +room altogether. I know that picture, it's a Swiss view. I'm sure +the artist painted it from nature, and that I have seen the very +place--" + +"Quite likely, though I bought it here. Gania, give the prince +some paper. Here are pens and paper; now then, take this table. +What's this?" the general continued to Gania, who had that moment +taken a large photograph out of his portfolio, and shown it to +his senior. "Halloa! Nastasia Philipovna! Did she send it you +herself? Herself?" he inquired, with much curiosity and great +animation. + +"She gave it me just now, when I called in to congratulate her. I +asked her for it long ago. I don't know whether she meant it for +a hint that I had come empty-handed, without a present for her +birthday, or what," added Gania, with an unpleasant smile. + +"Oh, nonsense, nonsense," said the general, with decision. " What +extraordinary ideas you have, Gania! As if she would hint; that's +not her way at all. Besides, what could you give her, without +having thousands at your disposal? You might have given her your +portrait, however. Has she ever asked you for it?" + +"No, not yet. Very likely she never will. I suppose you haven't +forgotten about tonight, have you, Ivan Fedorovitch? You were +one of those specially invited, you know." + +"Oh no, I remember all right, and I shall go, of course. I should +think so! She's twenty-five years old today! And, you know, +Gania, you must be ready for great things; she has promised both +myself and Afanasy Ivanovitch that she will give a decided answer +tonight, yes or no. So be prepared!" + +Gania suddenly became so ill at ease that his face grew paler +than ever. + +"Are you sure she said that?" he asked, and his voice seemed to +quiver as he spoke. + +"Yes, she promised. We both worried her so that she gave in; but +she wished us to tell you nothing about it until the day. " + +The general watched Gania's confusion intently, and clearly did +not like it. + +"Remember, Ivan Fedorovitch," said Gania, in great agitation, +"that I was to be free too, until her decision; and that even +then I was to have my 'yes or no' free." + +"Why, don't you, aren't you--" began the general, in alarm. + +"Oh, don't misunderstand--" + +"But, my dear fellow, what are you doing, what do you mean?" + +"Oh, I'm not rejecting her. I may have expressed myself badly, +but I didn't mean that." + +"Reject her! I should think not!" said the general with +annoyance, and apparently not in the least anxious to conceal it. +"Why, my dear fellow, it's not a question of your rejecting her, +it is whether you are prepared to receive her consent joyfully, +and with proper satisfaction. How are things going on at home?" + +"At home? Oh, I can do as I like there, of course; only my father +will make a fool of himself, as usual. He is rapidly becoming a +general nuisance. I don't ever talk to him now, but I hold him in +cheek, safe enough. I swear if it had not been for my mother, I +should have shown him the way out, long ago. My mother is always +crying, of course, and my sister sulks. I had to tell them at +last that I intended to be master of my own destiny, and that I +expect to be obeyed at home. At least, I gave my sister to +understand as much, and my mother was present." + +"Well, I must say, I cannot understand it!" said the general, +shrugging his shoulders and dropping his hands. "You remember +your mother, Nina Alexandrovna, that day she came and sat here +and groaned-and when I asked her what was the matter, she says, +'Oh, it's such a DISHONOUR to us!' dishonour! Stuff and nonsense! +I should like to know who can reproach Nastasia Philipovna, or +who can say a word of any kind against her. Did she mean because +Nastasia had been living with Totski? What nonsense it is! You +would not let her come near your daughters, says Nina +Alexandrovna. What next, I wonder? I don't see how she can fail +to--to understand--" + +"Her own position?" prompted Gania. "She does understand. Don't +be annoyed with her. I have warned her not to meddle in other +people's affairs. However, although there's comparative peace at +home at present, the storm will break if anything is finally +settled tonight." + +The prince heard the whole of the foregoing conversation, as he +sat at the table, writing. He finished at last, and brought the +result of his labour to the general's desk. + +"So this is Nastasia Philipovna," he said, looking attentively +and curiously at the portrait. "How wonderfully beautiful!" he +immediately added, with warmth. The picture was certainly that of +an unusually lovely woman. She was photographed in a black silk +dress of simple design, her hair was evidently dark and plainly +arranged, her eyes were deep and thoughtful, the expression of +her face passionate, but proud. She was rather thin, perhaps, and +a little pale. Both Gania and the general gazed at the prince in +amazement. + +"How do you know it's Nastasia Philipovna?" asked the general; +"you surely don't know her already, do you? " + +"Yes, I do! I have only been one day in Russia, but I have heard +of the great beauty!" And the prince proceeded to narrate his +meeting with Rogojin in the train and the whole of the latter's +story. + +"There's news!" said the general in some excitement, after +listening to the story with engrossed attention. + +"Oh, of course it's nothing but humbug!" cried Gania, a little +disturbed, however. "It's all humbug; the young merchant was +pleased to indulge in a little innocent recreation! I have heard +something of Rogojin!" + +"Yes, so have I!" replied the general. "Nastasia Philipovna told +us all about the earrings that very day. But now it is quite a +different matter. You see the fellow really has a million of +roubles, and he is passionately in love. The whole story smells +of passion, and we all know what this class of gentry is capable +of when infatuated. I am much afraid of some disagreeable +scandal, I am indeed!" + +"You are afraid of the million, I suppose," said Gania, grinning +and showing his teeth. + +"And you are NOT, I presume, eh?" + +"How did he strike you, prince?" asked Gania, suddenly. "Did he +seem to be a serious sort of a man, or just a common rowdy +fellow? What was your own opinion about the matter?" + +While Gania put this question, a new idea suddenly flashed into +his brain, and blazed out, impatiently, in his eyes. The general, +who was really agitated and disturbed, looked at the prince too, +but did not seem to expect much from his reply. + +"I really don't quite know how to tell you," replied the prince, +"but it certainly did seem to me that the man was full of +passion, and not, perhaps, quite healthy passion. He seemed to be +still far from well. Very likely he will be in bed again in a day +or two, especially if he lives fast." + +"No! do you think so?" said the general, catching at the idea. + +"Yes, I do think so!" + +"Yes, but the sort of scandal I referred to may happen at any +moment. It may be this very evening," remarked Gania to the +general, with a smile. + +"Of course; quite so. In that case it all depends upon what is +going on in her brain at this moment." + +"You know the kind of person she is at times." + +"How? What kind of person is she?" cried the general, arrived at +the limits of his patience. Look here, Gania, don't you go +annoying her tonight What you are to do is to be as agreeable +towards her as ever you can. Well, what are you smiling at? You +must understand, Gania, that I have no interest whatever in +speaking like this. Whichever way the question is settled, it +will be to my advantage. Nothing will move Totski from his +resolution, so I run no risk. If there is anything I desire, you +must know that it is your benefit only. Can't you trust me? You +are a sensible fellow, and I have been counting on you; for, in +this matter, that, that--" + +"Yes, that's the chief thing," said Gania, helping the general +out of his difficulties again, and curling his lips in an +envenomed smile, which he did not attempt to conceal. He gazed +with his fevered eyes straight into those of the general, as +though he were anxious that the latter might read his thoughts. + +The general grew purple with anger. + +"Yes, of course it is the chief thing!" he cried, looking sharply +at Gania. "What a very curious man you are, Gania! You actually +seem to be GLAD to hear of this millionaire fellow's arrival- +just as though you wished for an excuse to get out of the whole +thing. This is an affair in which you ought to act honestly +with both sides, and give due warning, to avoid compromising +others. But, even now, there is still time. Do you understand me? +I wish to know whether you desire this arrangement or whether you +do not? If not, say so,--and-and welcome! No one is trying to +force you into the snare, Gavrila Ardalionovitch, if you see +a snare in the matter, at least." + +"I do desire it," murmured Gania, softly but firmly, lowering his +eyes; and he relapsed into gloomy silence. + +The general was satisfied. He had excited himself, and was +evidently now regretting that he had gone so far. He turned to +the prince, and suddenly the disagreeable thought of the latter's +presence struck him, and the certainty that he must have heard +every word of the conversation. But he felt at ease in another +moment; it only needed one glance at the prince to see that in +that quarter there was nothing to fear. + +"Oh!" cried the general, catching sight of the prince's specimen +of caligraphy, which the latter had now handed him for +inspection. "Why, this is simply beautiful; look at that, Gania, +there's real talent there!" + +On a sheet of thick writing-paper the prince had written in +medieval characters the legend: + +"The gentle Abbot Pafnute signed this." + +"There," explained the prince, with great delight and animation, +"there, that's the abbot's real signature--from a manuscript of +the fourteenth century. All these old abbots and bishops used to +write most beautifully, with such taste and so much care and +diligence. Have you no copy of Pogodin, general? If you had one I +could show you another type. Stop a bit--here you have the large +round writing common in France during the eighteenth century. +Some of the letters are shaped quite differently from those now +in use. It was the writing current then, and employed by public +writers generally. I copied this from one of them, and you can +see how good it is. Look at the well-rounded a and d. I have +tried to translate the French character into the Russian letters- +-a difficult thing to do, but I think I have succeeded fairly. +Here is a fine sentence, written in a good, original hand--'Zeal +triumphs over all.' That is the script of the Russian War Office. +That is how official documents addressed to important personages +should be written. The letters are round, the type black, and the +style somewhat remarkable. A stylist would not allow these +ornaments, or attempts at flourishes--just look at these +unfinished tails!--but it has distinction and really depicts the +soul of the writer. He would like to give play to his +imagination, and follow the inspiration of his genius, but a +soldier is only at ease in the guard-room, and the pen stops +half-way, a slave to discipline. How delightful! The first time +I met an example of this handwriting, I was positively +astonished, and where do you think I chanced to find it? In +Switzerland, of all places! Now that is an ordinary English hand. +It can hardly be improved, it is so refined and exquisite--almost +perfection. This is an example of another kind, a mixture of +styles. The copy was given me by a French commercial traveller. +It is founded on the English, but the downstrokes are a little +blacker, and more marked. Notice that the oval has some slight +modification--it is more rounded. This writing allows for +flourishes; now a flourish is a dangerous thing! Its use requires +such taste, but, if successful, what a distinction it gives to +the whole! It results in an incomparable type--one to fall in love +with!" + +"Dear me! How you have gone into all the refinements and details +of the question! Why, my dear fellow, you are not a caligraphist, +you are an artist! Eh, Gania ?" + +"Wonderful!" said Gania. "And he knows it too," he added, with a +sarcastic smile. + +"You may smile,--but there's a career in this," said the general. +"You don't know what a great personage I shall show this to, +prince. Why, you can command a situation at thirty-five roubles +per month to start with. However, it's half-past twelve," he +concluded, looking at his watch; "so to business, prince, for I +must be setting to work and shall not see you again today. Sit +down a minute. I have told you that I cannot receive you myself +very often, but I should like to be of some assistance to you, +some small assistance, of a kind that would give you +satisfaction. I shall find you a place in one of the State +departments, an easy place--but you will require to be accurate. +Now, as to your plans--in the house, or rather in the family of +Gania here--my young friend, whom I hope you will know better--his +mother and sister have prepared two or three rooms for lodgers, +and let them to highly recommended young fellows, with board and +attendance. I am sure Nina Alexandrovna will take you in on my +recommendation. There you will be comfortable and well taken care +of; for I do not think, prince, that you are the sort of man to +be left to the mercy of Fate in a town like Petersburg. Nina +Alexandrovna, Gania's mother, and Varvara Alexandrovna, are +ladies for whom I have the highest possible esteem and respect. +Nina Alexandrovna is the wife of General Ardalion Alexandrovitch, +my old brother in arms, with whom, I regret to say, on account of +certain circumstances, I am no longer acquainted. I give you all +this information, prince, in order to make it clear to you that I +am personally recommending you to this family, and that in so +doing, I am more or less taking upon myself to answer for you. +The terms are most reasonable, and I trust that your salary will +very shortly prove amply sufficient for your expenditure. Of +course pocket-money is a necessity, if only a little; do not be +angry, prince, if I strongly recommend you to avoid carrying +money in your pocket. But as your purse is quite empty at the +present moment, you must allow me to press these twenty-five +roubles upon your acceptance, as something to begin with. Of +course we will settle this little matter another time, and if you +are the upright, honest man you look, I anticipate very little +trouble between us on that score. Taking so much interest in you +as you may perceive I do, I am not without my object, and you +shall know it in good time. You see, I am perfectly candid with +you. I hope, Gania, you have nothing to say against the prince's +taking up his abode in your house?" + +"Oh, on the contrary! my mother will be very glad," said Gania, +courteously and kindly. + +"I think only one of your rooms is engaged as yet, is it not? +That fellow Ferd-Ferd--" + +"Ferdishenko." + +"Yes--I don't like that Ferdishenko. I can't understand why +Nastasia Philipovna encourages him so. Is he really her cousin, +as he says?" + +"Oh dear no, it's all a joke. No more cousin than I am." + +"Well, what do you think of the arrangement, prince?" + +"Thank you, general; you have behaved very kindly to me; all the +more so since I did not ask you to help me. I don't say that out +of pride. I certainly did not know where to lay my head tonight. +Rogojin asked me to come to his house, of course, but--" + +"Rogojin? No, no, my good fellow. I should strongly recommend +you, paternally,--or, if you prefer it, as a friend,--to forget +all about Rogojin, and, in fact, to stick to the family into +which you are about to enter." + +"Thank you," began the prince; "and since you are so very kind +there is just one matter which I--" + +"You must really excuse me," interrupted the general, "but I +positively haven't another moment now. I shall just tell +Elizabetha Prokofievna about you, and if she wishes to receive +you at once--as I shall advise her--I strongly recommend you to +ingratiate yourself with her at the first opportunity, for my +wife may be of the greatest service to you in many ways. If she +cannot receive you now, you must be content to wait till another +time. Meanwhile you, Gania, just look over these accounts, will +you? We mustn't forget to finish off that matter--" + +The general left the room, and the prince never succeeded in +broaching the business which he had on hand, though he had +endeavoured to do so four times. + +Gania lit a cigarette and offered one to the prince. The +latter accepted the offer, but did not talk, being unwilling to +disturb Gania's work. He commenced to examine the study and its +contents. But Gania hardly so much as glanced at the papers lying +before him; he was absent and thoughtful, and his smile and +general appearance struck the prince still more disagreeably now +that the two were left alone together. + +Suddenly Gania approached our hero who was at the moment standing +over Nastasia Philipovna's portrait, gazing at it. + +"Do you admire that sort of woman, prince?" he asked, looking +intently at him. He seemed to have some special object in the +question. + +"It's a wonderful face," said the prince, "and I feel sure that +her destiny is not by any means an ordinary, uneventful one. Her +face is smiling enough, but she must have suffered terribly-- +hasn't she? Her eyes show it--those two bones there, the little +points under her eyes, just where the cheek begins. It's a proud +face too, terribly proud! And I--I can't say whether she is good +and kind, or not. Oh, if she be but good! That would make all +well!" + +"And would you marry a woman like that, now?" continued Gania, +never taking his excited eyes off the prince's face. + +"I cannot marry at all," said the latter. "I am an invalid." + +"Would Rogojin marry her, do you think?" + +"Why not? Certainly he would, I should think. He would marry her +tomorrow!--marry her tomorrow and murder her in a week!" + +Hardly had the prince uttered the last word when Gania gave such +a fearful shudder that the prince almost cried out. + +"What's the matter?" said he, seizing Gania's hand. + +"Your highness! His excellency begs your presence in her +excellency's apartments!" announced the footman, appearing at the +door. + +The prince immediately followed the man out of the room. + +IV. + +ALL three of the Miss Epanchins were fine, healthy girls, well- +grown, with good shoulders and busts, and strong--almost +masculine--hands; and, of course, with all the above attributes, +they enjoyed capital appetites, of which they were not in the +least ashamed. + +Elizabetha Prokofievna sometimes informed the girls that they +were a little too candid in this matter, but in spite of their +outward deference to their mother these three young women, in +solemn conclave, had long agreed to modify the unquestioning +obedience which they had been in the habit of according to her; +and Mrs. General Epanchin had judged it better to say nothing +about it, though, of course, she was well aware of the fact. + +It is true that her nature sometimes rebelled against these +dictates of reason, and that she grew yearly more capricious and +impatient; but having a respectful and well-disciplined husband +under her thumb at all times, she found it possible, as a rule, +to empty any little accumulations of spleen upon his head, and +therefore the harmony of the family was kept duly balanced, and +things went as smoothly as family matters can. + +Mrs. Epanchin had a fair appetite herself, and generally took her +share of the capital mid-day lunch which was always served for +the girls, and which was nearly as good as a dinner. The young +ladies used to have a cup of coffee each before this meal, at ten +o'clock, while still in bed. This was a favourite and unalterable +arrangement with them. At half-past twelve, the table was laid in +the small dining-room, and occasionally the general himself +appeared at the family gathering, if he had time. + +Besides tea and coffee, cheese, honey, butter, pan-cakes of +various kinds (the lady of the house loved these best), cutlets, +and so on, there was generally strong beef soup, and other +substantial delicacies. + +On the particular morning on which our story has opened, the +family had assembled in the dining-room, and were waiting the +general's appearance, the latter having promised to come this +day. If he had been one moment late, he would have been sent for +at once; but he turned up punctually. + +As he came forward to wish his wife good-morning and kiss her +hands, as his custom was, he observed something in her look which +boded ill. He thought he knew the reason, and had expected it, +but still, he was not altogether comfortable. His daughters +advanced to kiss him, too, and though they did not look exactly +angry, there was something strange in their expression as well. + +The general was, owing to certain circumstances, a little +inclined to be too suspicious at home, and needlessly nervous; +but, as an experienced father and husband, he judged it better to +take measures at once to protect himself from any dangers there +might be in the air. + +However, I hope I shall not interfere with the proper sequence of +my narrative too much, if I diverge for a moment at this point, +in order to explain the mutual relations between General +Epanchin's family and others acting a part in this history, at +the time when we take up the thread of their destiny. I have +already stated that the general, though he was a man of lowly +origin, and of poor education, was, for all that, an experienced +and talented husband and father. Among other things, he +considered it undesirable to hurry his daughters to the +matrimonial altar and to worry them too much with assurances of +his paternal wishes for their happiness, as is the custom among +parents of many grown-up daughters. He even succeeded in ranging +his wife on his side on this question, though he found the feat +very difficult to accomplish, because unnatural; but the +general's arguments were conclusive, and founded upon obvious +facts. The general considered that the girls' taste and good +sense should be allowed to develop and mature deliberately, and +that the parents' duty should merely be to keep watch, in order +that no strange or undesirable choice be made; but that the +selection once effected, both father and mother were bound from +that moment to enter heart and soul into the cause, and to see +that the matter progressed without hindrance until the altar +should be happily reached. + +Besides this, it was clear that the Epanchins' position gained +each year, with geometrical accuracy, both as to financial +solidity and social weight; and, therefore, the longer the girls +waited, the better was their chance of making a brilliant match. + +But again, amidst the incontrovertible facts just recorded, one +more, equally significant, rose up to confront the family; and +this was, that the eldest daughter, Alexandra, had imperceptibly +arrived at her twenty-fifth birthday. Almost at the same moment, +Afanasy Ivanovitch Totski, a man of immense wealth, high +connections, and good standing, announced his intention of +marrying. Afanasy Ivanovitch was a gentleman of fifty-five years +of age, artistically gifted, and of most refined tastes. He +wished to marry well, and, moreover, he was a keen admirer and +judge of beauty. + +Now, since Totski had, of late, been upon terms of great +cordiality with Epanchin, which excellent relations were +intensified by the fact that they were, so to speak, partners in +several financial enterprises, it so happened that the former now +put in a friendly request to the general for counsel with regard +to the important step he meditated. Might he suggest, for +instance, such a thing as a marriage between himself and one of +the general's daughters? + +Evidently the quiet, pleasant current of the family life of the +Epanchins was about to undergo a change. + +The undoubted beauty of the family, par excellence, was the +youngest, Aglaya, as aforesaid. But Totski himself, though an +egotist of the extremest type, realized that he had no chance +there; Aglaya was clearly not for such as he. + +Perhaps the sisterly love and friendship of the three girls had +more or less exaggerated Aglaya's chances of happiness. In their +opinion, the latter's destiny was not merely to be very happy; +she was to live in a heaven on earth. Aglaya's husband was to be +a compendium of all the virtues, and of all success, not to speak +of fabulous wealth. The two elder sisters had agreed that all was +to be sacrificed by them, if need be, for Aglaya's sake; her +dowry was to be colossal and unprecedented. + +The general and his wife were aware of this agreement, and, +therefore, when Totski suggested himself for one of the sisters, +the parents made no doubt that one of the two elder girls would +probably accept the offer, since Totski would certainly make no +difficulty as to dowry. The general valued the proposal very +highly. He knew life, and realized what such an offer was worth. + +The answer of the sisters to the communication was, if not +conclusive, at least consoling and hopeful. It made known that +the eldest, Alexandra, would very likely be disposed to listen to +a proposal. + +Alexandra was a good-natured girl, though she had a will of her +own. She was intelligent and kind-hearted, and, if she were to +marry Totski, she would make him a good wife. She did not care +for a brilliant marriage; she was eminently a woman calculated to +soothe and sweeten the life of any man; decidedly pretty, if not +absolutely handsome. What better could Totski wish? + +So the matter crept slowly forward. The general and Totski had +agreed to avoid any hasty and irrevocable step. Alexandra's +parents had not even begun to talk to their daughters freely upon +the subject, when suddenly, as it were, a dissonant chord was +struck amid the harmony of the proceedings. Mrs. Epanchin began +to show signs of discontent, and that was a serious matter. A +certain circumstance had crept in, a disagreeable and troublesome +factor, which threatened to overturn the whole business. + +This circumstance had come into existence eighteen years before. +Close to an estate of Totski's, in one of the central provinces +of Russia, there lived, at that time, a poor gentleman whose +estate was of the wretchedest description. This gentleman was +noted in the district for his persistent ill-fortune; his name +was Barashkoff, and, as regards family and descent, he was vastly +superior to Totski, but his estate was mortgaged to the last +acre. One day, when he had ridden over to the town to see a +creditor, the chief peasant of his village followed him shortly +after, with the news that his house had been burnt down, and that +his wife had perished with it, but his children were safe. + +Even Barashkoff, inured to the storms of evil fortune as he was, +could not stand this last stroke. He went mad and died shortly +after in the town hospital. His estate was sold for the +creditors; and the little girls--two of them, of seven and eight +years of age respectively,--were adopted by Totski, who undertook +their maintenance and education in the kindness of his heart. +They were brought up together with the children of his German +bailiff. Very soon, however, there was only one of them left- +Nastasia Philipovna--for the other little one died of whooping- +cough. Totski, who was living abroad at this time, very soon +forgot all about the child; but five years after, returning to +Russia, it struck him that he would like to look over his estate +and see how matters were going there, and, arrived at his +bailiff's house, he was not long in discovering that among the +children of the latter there now dwelt a most lovely little girl +of twelve, sweet and intelligent, and bright, and promising to +develop beauty of most unusual quality-as to which last Totski +was an undoubted authority. + +He only stayed at his country scat a few days on this occasion, +but he had time to make his arrangements. Great changes took +place in the child's education; a good governess was engaged, a +Swiss lady of experience and culture. For four years this lady +resided in the house with little Nastia, and then the education +was considered complete. The governess took her departure, and +another lady came down to fetch Nastia, by Totski's instructions. +The child was now transported to another of Totski's estates in a +distant part of the country. Here she found a delightful little +house, just built, and prepared for her reception with great care +and taste; and here she took up her abode together with the lady +who had accompanied her from her old home. In the house there +were two experienced maids, musical instruments of all sorts, a +charming "young lady's library," pictures, paint-boxes, a lap- +dog, and everything to make life agreeable. Within a fortnight +Totski himself arrived, and from that time he appeared to have +taken a great fancy to this part of the world and came down each +summer, staying two and three months at a time. So passed four +years peacefully and happily, in charming surroundings. + +At the end of that time, and about four months after Totski's +last visit (he had stayed but a fortnight on this occasion), a +report reached Nastasia Philipovna that he was about to be +married in St. Petersburg, to a rich, eminent, and lovely woman. +The report was only partially true, the marriage project being +only in an embryo condition; but a great change now came over +Nastasia Philipovna. She suddenly displayed unusual decision of +character; and without wasting time in thought, she left her +country home and came up to St. Petersburg, straight to Totski's +house, all alone. + +The latter, amazed at her conduct, began to express his +displeasure; but he very soon became aware that he must change +his voice, style, and everything else, with this young lady; the +good old times were gone. An entirely new and different woman sat +before him, between whom and the girl he had left in the country +last July there seemed nothing in common. + +In the first place, this new woman understood a good deal more +than was usual for young people of her age; so much indeed, that +Totski could not help wondering where she had picked up her +knowledge. Surely not from her "young lady's library"? It even +embraced legal matters, and the "world" in general, to a +considerable extent. + +Her character was absolutely changed. No more of the girlish +alternations of timidity and petulance, the adorable naivete, the +reveries, the tears, the playfulness... It was an entirely new and +hitherto unknown being who now sat and laughed at him, and +informed him to his face that she had never had the faintest +feeling for him of any kind, except loathing and contempt-- +contempt which had followed closely upon her sensations of +surprise and bewilderment after her first acquaintance with him. + +This new woman gave him further to understand that though it was +absolutely the same to her whom he married, yet she had decided +to prevent this marriage--for no particular reason, but that she +chose to do so, and because she wished to amuse herself at his +expense for that it was "quite her turn to laugh a little now!" + +Such were her words--very likely she did not give her real +reason for this eccentric conduct; but, at all events, that was +all the explanation she deigned to offer. + +Meanwhile, Totski thought the matter over as well as his +scattered ideas would permit. His meditations lasted a fortnight, +however, and at the end of that time his resolution was taken. +The fact was, Totski was at that time a man of fifty years of +age; his position was solid and respectable; his place in society +had long been firmly fixed upon safe foundations; he loved +himself, his personal comforts, and his position better than all +the world, as every respectable gentleman should! + +At the same time his grasp of things in general soon showed +Totski that he now had to deal with a being who was outside the +pale of the ordinary rules of traditional behaviour, and who +would not only threaten mischief but would undoubtedly carry it +out, and stop for no one. + +There was evidently, he concluded, something at work here; some +storm of the mind, some paroxysm of romantic anger, goodness +knows against whom or what, some insatiable contempt--in a word, +something altogether absurd and impossible, but at the same time +most dangerous to be met with by any respectable person with a +position in society to keep up. + +For a man of Totski's wealth and standing, it would, of course, +have been the simplest possible matter to take steps which would +rid him at once from all annoyance; while it was obviously +impossible for Nastasia Philipovna to harm him in any way, either +legally or by stirring up a scandal, for, in case of the latter +danger, he could so easily remove her to a sphere of safety. +However, these arguments would only hold good in case of Nastasia +acting as others might in such an emergency. She was much more +likely to overstep the bounds of reasonable conduct by some +extraordinary eccentricity. + +Here the sound judgment of Totski stood him in good stead. He +realized that Nastasia Philipovna must be well aware that she +could do nothing by legal means to injure him, and that her +flashing eyes betrayed some entirely different intention. + +Nastasia Philipovna was quite capable of ruining herself, and +even of perpetrating something which would send her to Siberia, +for the mere pleasure of injuring a man for whom she had +developed so inhuman a sense of loathing and contempt. He had +sufficient insight to understand that she valued nothing in the +world--herself least of all--and he made no attempt to conceal +the fact that he was a coward in some respects. For instance, if +he had been told that he would be stabbed at the altar, or +publicly insulted, he would undoubtedly have been frightened; but +not so much at the idea of being murdered, or wounded, or +insulted, as at the thought that if such things were to happen he +would be made to look ridiculous in the eyes of society. + +He knew well that Nastasia thoroughly understood him and where to +wound him and how, and therefore, as the marriage was still only +in embryo, Totski decided to conciliate her by giving it up. His +decision was strengthened by the fact that Nastasia Philipovna +had curiously altered of late. It would be difficult to conceive +how different she was physically, at the present time, to the +girl of a few years ago. She was pretty then . . . but now! . . . +Totski laughed angrily when he thought how short-sighted he had +been. In days gone by he remembered how he had looked at her +beautiful eyes, how even then he had marvelled at their dark +mysterious depths, and at their wondering gaze which seemed to +seek an answer to some unknown riddle. Her complexion also had +altered. She was now exceedingly pale, but, curiously, this +change only made her more beautiful. Like most men of the world, +Totski had rather despised such a cheaply-bought conquest, but of +late years he had begun to think differently about it. It had +struck him as long ago as last spring that he ought to be finding +a good match for Nastasia; for instance, some respectable and +reasonable young fellow serving in a government office in another +part of the country. How maliciously Nastasia laughed at the idea +of such a thing, now! + +However, it appeared to Totski that he might make use of her in +another way; and he determined to establish her in St. +Petersburg, surrounding her with all the comforts and luxuries +that his wealth could command. In this way he might gain glory in +certain circles. + +Five years of this Petersburg life went by, and, of course, +during that time a great deal happened. Totski's position was +very uncomfortable; having "funked" once, he could not totally +regain his ease. He was afraid, he did not know why, but he was +simply afraid of Nastasia Philipovna. For the first two years or +so he had suspected that she wished to marry him herself, and +that only her vanity prevented her telling him so. He thought +that she wanted him to approach her with a humble proposal from +his own side, But to his great, and not entirely pleasurable +amazement, he discovered that this was by no means the case, and +that were he to offer himself he would be refused. He could not +understand such a state of things, and was obliged to conclude +that it was pride, the pride of an injured and imaginative woman, +which had gone to such lengths that it preferred to sit and nurse +its contempt and hatred in solitude rather than mount to heights +of hitherto unattainable splendour. To make matters worse, she +was quite impervious to mercenary considerations, and could not +be bribed in any way. + +Finally, Totski took cunning means to try to break his chains and +be free. He tried to tempt her in various ways to lose her heart; +he invited princes, hussars, secretaries of embassies, poets, +novelists, even Socialists, to see her; but not one of them all +made the faintest impression upon Nastasia. It was as though she +had a pebble in place of a heart, as though her feelings and +affections were dried up and withered for ever. + +She lived almost entirely alone; she read, she studied, she loved +music. Her principal acquaintances were poor women of various +grades, a couple of actresses, and the family of a poor +schoolteacher. Among these people she was much beloved. + +She received four or five friends sometimes, of an evening. +Totski often came. Lately, too, General Epanchin had been enabled +with great difficulty to introduce himself into her circle. Gania +made her acquaintance also, and others were Ferdishenko, an ill- +bred, and would-be witty, young clerk, and Ptitsin, a money- +lender of modest and polished manners, who had risen from +poverty. In fact, Nastasia Philipovna's beauty became a thing +known to all the town; but not a single man could boast of +anything more than his own admiration for her; and this +reputation of hers, and her wit and culture and grace, all +confirmed Totski in the plan he had now prepared. + +And it was at this moment that General Epanchin began to play so +large and important a part in the story. + +When Totski had approached the general with his request for +friendly counsel as to a marriage with one of his daughters, he +had made a full and candid confession. He had said that he +intended to stop at no means to obtain his freedom; even if +Nastasia were to promise to leave him entirely alone in future, +he would not (he said) believe and trust her; words were not +enough for him; he must have solid guarantees of some sort. So he +and the general determined to try what an attempt to appeal to +her heart would effect. Having arrived at Nastasia's house one +day, with Epanchin, Totski immediately began to speak of the +intolerable torment of his position. He admitted that he was to +blame for all, but candidly confessed that he could not bring +himself to feel any remorse for his original guilt towards +herself, because he was a man of sensual passions which were +inborn and ineradicable, and that he had no power over himself in +this respect; but that he wished, seriously, to marry at last, +and that the whole fate of the most desirable social union which +he contemplated, was in her hands; in a word, he confided his all +to her generosity of heart. + +General Epanchin took up his part and spoke in the character of +father of a family; he spoke sensibly, and without wasting words +over any attempt at sentimentality, he merely recorded his full +admission of her right to be the arbiter of Totski's destiny at +this moment. He then pointed out that the fate of his daughter, +and very likely of both his other daughters, now hung upon her +reply. + +To Nastasia's question as to what they wished her to do, Totski +confessed that he had been so frightened by her, five years ago, +that he could never now be entirely comfortable until she herself +married. He immediately added that such a suggestion from him +would, of course, be absurd, unless accompanied by remarks of a +more pointed nature. He very well knew, he said, that a certain +young gentleman of good family, namely, Gavrila Ardalionovitch +Ivolgin, with whom she was acquainted, and whom she received at +her house, had long loved her passionately, and would give his +life for some response from her. The young fellow had confessed +this love of his to him (Totski) and had also admitted it in the +hearing of his benefactor, General Epanchin. Lastly, he could not +help being of opinion that Nastasia must be aware of Gania's love +for her, and if he (Totski) mistook not, she had looked with some +favour upon it, being often lonely, and rather tired of her +present life. Having remarked how difficult it was for him, of +all people, to speak to her of these matters, Totski concluded by +saying that he trusted Nastasia Philipovna would not look with +contempt upon him if he now expressed his sincere desire to +guarantee her future by a gift of seventy-five thousand roubles. +He added that the sum would have been left her all the same in +his will, and that therefore she must not consider the gift as in +any way an indemnification to her for anything, but that there +was no reason, after all, why a man should not be allowed to +entertain a natural desire to lighten his conscience, etc., etc.; +in fact, all that would naturally be said under the circumstances. +Totski was very eloquent all through, and, in conclusion, just +touched on the fact that not a soul in the world, not even +General Epanchin, had ever heard a word about the above +seventy-five thousand roubles, and that this was the first +time he had ever given expression to his intentions in respect +to them. + +Nastasia Philipovna's reply to this long rigmarole astonished +both the friends considerably. + +Not only was there no trace of her former irony, of her old +hatred and enmity, and of that dreadful laughter, the very +recollection of which sent a cold chill down Totski's back to +this very day; but she seemed charmed and really glad to have the +opportunity of talking seriously with him for once in a way. She +confessed that she had long wished to have a frank and free +conversation and to ask for friendly advice, but that pride had +hitherto prevented her; now, however, that the ice was broken, +nothing could be more welcome to her than this opportunity. + +First, with a sad smile, and then with a twinkle of merriment in +her eyes, she admitted that such a storm as that of five years +ago was now quite out of the question. She said that she had long +since changed her views of things, and recognized that facts must +be taken into consideration in spite of the feelings of the +heart. What was done was done and ended, and she could not +understand why Totski should still feel alarmed. + +She next turned to General Epanchin and observed, most +courteously, that she had long since known of his daughters, and +that she had heard none but good report; that she had learned to +think of them with deep and sincere respect. The idea alone that +she could in any way serve them, would be to her both a pride and +a source of real happiness. + +It was true that she was lonely in her present life; Totski had +judged her thoughts aright. She longed to rise, if not to love, +at least to family life and new hopes and objects, but as to +Gavrila Ardalionovitch, she could not as yet say much. She +thought it must be the case that he loved her; she felt that she +too might learn to love him, if she could be sure of the firmness +of his attachment to herself; but he was very young, and it was a +difficult question to decide. What she specially liked about him +was that he worked, and supported his family by his toil. + +She had heard that he was proud and ambitious; she had heard much +that was interesting of his mother and sister, she had heard of +them from Mr. Ptitsin, and would much like to make their +acquaintance, but--another question!--would they like to receive +her into their house? At all events, though she did not reject +the idea of this marriage, she desired not to be hurried. As for +the seventy-five thousand roubles, Mr. Totski need not have found +any difficulty or awkwardness about the matter; she quite +understood the value of money, and would, of course, accept the +gift. She thanked him for his delicacy, however, but saw no +reason why Gavrila Ardalionovitch should not know about it. + +She would not marry the latter, she said, until she felt +persuaded that neither on his part nor on the part of his family +did there exist any sort of concealed suspicions as to herself. +She did not intend to ask forgiveness for anything in the past, +which fact she desired to be known. She did not consider herself +to blame for anything that had happened in former years, and she +thought that Gavrila Ardalionovitch should be informed as to the +relations which had existed between herself and Totski during the +last five years. If she accepted this money it was not to be +considered as indemnification for her misfortune as a young girl, +which had not been in any degree her own fault, but merely as +compensation for her ruined life. + +She became so excited and agitated during all these explanations +and confessions that General Epanchin was highly gratified, and +considered the matter satisfactorily arranged once for all. But +the once bitten Totski was twice shy, and looked for hidden +snakes among the flowers. However, the special point to which the +two friends particularly trusted to bring about their object +(namely, Gania's attractiveness for Nastasia Philipovna), stood +out more and more prominently; the pourparlers had commenced, and +gradually even Totski began to believe in the possibility of +success. + +Before long Nastasia and Gania had talked the matter over. Very +little was said--her modesty seemed to suffer under the infliction +of discussing such a question. But she recognized his love, on +the understanding that she bound herself to nothing whatever, and +that she reserved the right to say "no" up to the very hour of +the marriage ceremony. Gania was to have the same right of +refusal at the last moment. + +It soon became clear to Gania, after scenes of wrath and +quarrellings at the domestic hearth, that his family were +seriously opposed to the match, and that Nastasia was aware of +this fact was equally evident. She said nothing about it, though +he daily expected her to do so. + +There were several rumours afloat, before long, which upset +Totski's equanimity a good deal, but we will not now stop to +describe them; merely mentioning an instance or two. One was that +Nastasia had entered into close and secret relations with the +Epanchin girls--a most unlikely rumour; another was that Nastasia +had long satisfied herself of the fact that Gania was merely +marrying her for money, and that his nature was gloomy and +greedy, impatient and selfish, to an extraordinary degree; and +that although he had been keen enough in his desire to achieve a +conquest before, yet since the two friends had agreed to exploit +his passion for their own purposes, it was clear enough that he +had begun to consider the whole thing a nuisance and a nightmare. + +In his heart passion and hate seemed to hold divided sway, and +although he had at last given his consent to marry the woman (as +he said), under the stress of circumstances, yet he promised +himself that he would "take it out of her," after marriage. + +Nastasia seemed to Totski to have divined all this, and to be +preparing something on her own account, which frightened him to +such an extent that he did not dare communicate his views even to +the general. But at times he would pluck up his courage and be +full of hope and good spirits again, acting, in fact, as weak men +do act in such circumstances. + +However, both the friends felt that the thing looked rosy indeed +when one day Nastasia informed them that she would give her final +answer on the evening of her birthday, which anniversary was due +in a very short time. + +A strange rumour began to circulate, meanwhile; no less than that +the respectable and highly respected General Epanchin was himself +so fascinated by Nastasia Philipovna that his feeling for her +amounted almost to passion. What he thought to gain by Gania's +marriage to the girl it was difficult to imagine. Possibly he +counted on Gania's complaisance; for Totski had long suspected +that there existed some secret understanding between the general +and his secretary. At all events the fact was known that he had +prepared a magnificent present of pearls for Nastasia's birthday, +and that he was looking forward to the occasion when he should +present his gift with the greatest excitement and impatience. The +day before her birthday he was in a fever of agitation. + +Mrs. Epanchin, long accustomed to her husband's infidelities, had +heard of the pearls, and the rumour excited her liveliest +curiosity and interest. The general remarked her suspicions, and +felt that a grand explanation must shortly take place--which fact +alarmed him much. + +This is the reason why he was so unwilling to take lunch (on the +morning upon which we took up this narrative) with the rest of +his family. Before the prince's arrival he had made up his mind +to plead business, and "cut" the meal; which simply meant running +away. + +He was particularly anxious that this one day should be passed-- +especially the evening--without unpleasantness between himself +and his family; and just at the right moment the prince turned +up--"as though Heaven had sent him on purpose," said the general +to himself, as he left the study to seek out the wife of his +bosom. + +V. + +Mrs. General Epanchin was a proud woman by nature. What must her +feelings have been when she heard that Prince Muishkin, the last +of his and her line, had arrived in beggar's guise, a wretched +idiot, a recipient of charity--all of which details the general +gave out for greater effect! He was anxious to steal her interest +at the first swoop, so as to distract her thoughts from other +matters nearer home. + +Mrs. Epanchin was in the habit of holding herself very straight, +and staring before her, without speaking, in moments of +excitement. + +She was a fine woman of the same age as her husband, with a +slightly hooked nose, a high, narrow forehead, thick hair turning +a little grey, and a sallow complexion. Her eyes were grey and +wore a very curious expression at times. She believed them to be +most effective--a belief that nothing could alter. + +"What, receive him! Now, at once?" asked Mrs. Epanchin, gazing +vaguely at her husband as he stood fidgeting before her. + +"Oh, dear me, I assure you there is no need to stand on ceremony +with him," the general explained hastily. "He is quite a child, +not to say a pathetic-looking creature. He has fits of some sort, +and has just arrived from Switzerland, straight from the station, +dressed like a German and without a farthing in his pocket. I +gave him twenty-five roubles to go on with, and am going to find +him some easy place in one of the government offices. I should +like you to ply him well with the victuals, my dears, for I +should think he must be very hungry." + +"You astonish me," said the lady, gazing as before. "Fits, and +hungry too! What sort of fits?" + +"Oh, they don't come on frequently, besides, he's a regular +child, though he seems to be fairly educated. I should like you, +if possible, my dears," the general added, making slowly for the +door, "to put him through his paces a bit, and see what he is +good for. I think you should be kind to him; it is a good deed, +you know--however, just as you like, of course--but he is a sort +of relation, remember, and I thought it might interest you to see +the young fellow, seeing that this is so." + +"Oh, of course, mamma, if we needn't stand on ceremony with him, +we must give the poor fellow something to eat after his journey; +especially as he has not the least idea where to go to," said +Alexandra, the eldest of the girls. + +"Besides, he's quite a child; we can entertain him with a little +hide-and-seek, in case of need," said Adelaida. + +"Hide-and-seek? What do you mean?" inquired Mrs. Epanchin. + +"Oh, do stop pretending, mamma," cried Aglaya, in vexation. "Send +him up, father; mother allows." + +The general rang the bell and gave orders that the prince should +be shown in. + +"Only on condition that he has a napkin under his chin at lunch, +then," said Mrs. Epanchin, "and let Fedor, or Mavra, stand behind +him while he eats. Is he quiet when he has these fits? He doesn't +show violence, does he?" + +"On the contrary, he seems to be very well brought up. His +manners are excellent--but here he is himself. Here you are, +prince--let me introduce you, the last of the Muishkins, a +relative of your own, my dear, or at least of the same name. +Receive him kindly, please. They'll bring in lunch directly, +prince; you must stop and have some, but you must excuse me. I'm +in a hurry, I must be off--" + +"We all know where YOU must be off to!" said Mrs. Epanchin, in a +meaning voice. + +"Yes, yes--I must hurry away, I'm late! Look here, dears, let him +write you something in your albums; you've no idea what a +wonderful caligraphist he is, wonderful talent! He has just +written out 'Abbot Pafnute signed this' for me. Well, au revoir!" + +"Stop a minute; where are you off to? Who is this abbot?" cried +Mrs. Epanchin to her retreating husband in a tone of excited +annoyance. + +"Yes, my dear, it was an old abbot of that name-I must be off to +see the count, he's waiting for me, I'm late--Good-bye! Au +revoir, prince!"--and the general bolted at full speed. + +"Oh, yes--I know what count you're going to see!" remarked his +wife in a cutting manner, as she turned her angry eyes on the +prince. "Now then, what's all this about?--What abbot--Who's +Pafnute?" she added, brusquely. + +"Mamma!" said Alexandra, shocked at her rudeness. + +Aglaya stamped her foot. + +"Nonsense! Let me alone!" said the angry mother. "Now then, +prince, sit down here, no, nearer, come nearer the light! I want +to have a good look at you. So, now then, who is this abbot?" + +"Abbot Pafnute," said our friend, seriously and with deference. + +"Pafnute, yes. And who was he?" + +Mrs. Epanchin put these questions hastily and brusquely, and when +the prince answered she nodded her head sagely at each word he +said. + +"The Abbot Pafnute lived in the fourteenth century," began the +prince; "he was in charge of one of the monasteries on the Volga, +about where our present Kostroma government lies. He went to +Oreol and helped in the great matters then going on in the +religious world; he signed an edict there, and I have seen a +print of his signature; it struck me, so I copied it. When the +general asked me, in his study, to write something for him, to +show my handwriting, I wrote 'The Abbot Pafnute signed this,' in +the exact handwriting of the abbot. The general liked it very +much, and that's why he recalled it just now. " + +"Aglaya, make a note of 'Pafnute,' or we shall forget him. H'm! +and where is this signature?" + +"I think it was left on the general's table." + +"Let it be sent for at once!" + +"Oh, I'll write you a new one in half a minute," said the prince, +"if you like!" + +"Of course, mamma!" said Alexandra. "But let's have lunch now, we +are all hungry!" + +"Yes; come along, prince," said the mother, "are you very +hungry?" + +"Yes; I must say that I am pretty hungry, thanks very much." + +"H'm! I like to see that you know your manners; and you are by no +means such a person as the general thought fit to describe you. +Come along; you sit here, opposite to me," she continued, "I wish +to be able to see your face. Alexandra, Adelaida, look after the +prince! He doesn't seem so very ill, does he? I don't think he +requires a napkin under his chin, after all; are you accustomed +to having one on, prince?" + +"Formerly, when I was seven years old or so. I believe I wore +one; but now I usually hold my napkin on my knee when I eat." + +"Of course, of course! And about your fits?" + +"Fits?" asked the prince, slightly surprised. "I very seldom have +fits nowadays. I don't know how it may be here, though; they say +the climate may be bad for me. " + +"He talks very well, you know!" said Mrs. Epanchin, who still +continued to nod at each word the prince spoke. "I really did not +expect it at all; in fact, I suppose it was all stuff and +nonsense on the general's part, as usual. Eat away, prince, and +tell me where you were born, and where you were brought up. I +wish to know all about you, you interest me very much!" + +The prince expressed his thanks once more, and eating heartily +the while, recommenced the narrative of his life in Switzerland, +all of which we have heard before. Mrs. Epanchin became more and +more pleased with her guest; the girls, too, listened with +considerable attention. In talking over the question of +relationship it turned out that the prince was very well up in +the matter and knew his pedigree off by heart. It was found that +scarcely any connection existed between himself and Mrs. +Epanchin, but the talk, and the opportunity of conversing about +her family tree, gratified the latter exceedingly, and she rose +from the table in great good humour. + +"Let's all go to my boudoir," she said, "and they shall bring +some coffee in there. That's the room where we all assemble and +busy ourselves as we like best," she explained. "Alexandra, my +eldest, here, plays the piano, or reads or sews; Adelaida paints +landscapes and portraits (but never finishes any); and Aglaya +sits and does nothing. I don't work too much, either. Here we +are, now; sit down, prince, near the fire and talk to us. I want +to hear you relate something. I wish to make sure of you first +and then tell my old friend, Princess Bielokonski, about you. I +wish you to know all the good people and to interest them. Now +then, begin!" + +"Mamma, it's rather a strange order, that!" said Adelaida, who +was fussing among her paints and paint-brushes at the easel. +Aglaya and Alexandra had settled themselves with folded hands on +a sofa, evidently meaning to be listeners. The prince felt that +the general attention was concentrated upon himself. + +"I should refuse to say a word if I were ordered to tell a story +like that!" observed Aglaya. + +"Why? what's there strange about it? He has a tongue. Why +shouldn't he tell us something? I want to judge whether he is a +good story-teller; anything you like, prince-how you liked +Switzerland, what was your first impression, anything. You'll +see, he'll begin directly and tell us all about it beautifully." + +"The impression was forcible--" the prince began. + +"There, you see, girls," said the impatient lady, "he has begun, +you see." + +"Well, then, LET him talk, mamma," said Alexandra. "This prince +is a great humbug and by no means an idiot," she whispered to +Aglaya. + +"Oh, I saw that at once," replied the latter. "I don't think it +at all nice of him to play a part. What does he wish to gain by +it, I wonder?" + +"My first impression was a very strong one," repeated the prince. +"When they took me away from Russia, I remember I passed through +many German towns and looked out of the windows, but did not +trouble so much as to ask questions about them. This was after a +long series of fits. I always used to fall into a sort of torpid +condition after such a series, and lost my memory almost +entirely; and though I was not altogether without reason at such +times, yet I had no logical power of thought. This would continue +for three or four days, and then I would recover myself again. I +remember my melancholy was intolerable; I felt inclined to cry; I +sat and wondered and wondered uncomfortably; the consciousness +that everything was strange weighed terribly upon me; I could +understand that it was all foreign and strange. I recollect I +awoke from this state for the first time at Basle, one evening; +the bray of a donkey aroused me, a donkey in the town market. I +saw the donkey and was extremely pleased with it, and from that +moment my head seemed to clear." + +"A donkey? How strange! Yet it is not strange. Anyone of us might +fall in love with a donkey! It happened in mythological times," +said Madame Epanchin, looking wrathfully at her daughters, who +had begun to laugh. "Go on, prince." + +"Since that evening I have been specially fond of donkeys. I +began to ask questions about them, for I had never seen one +before; and I at once came to the conclusion that this must be +one of the most useful of animals--strong, willing, patient, +cheap; and, thanks to this donkey, I began to like the whole +country I was travelling through; and my melancholy passed away." + +"All this is very strange and interesting," said Mrs. Epanchin. +"Now let's leave the donkey and go on to other matters. What are +you laughing at, Aglaya? and you too, Adelaida? The prince told +us his experiences very cleverly; he saw the donkey himself, and +what have you ever seen? YOU have never been abroad." + +"I have seen a donkey though, mamma!" said Aglaya. + +"And I've heard one!" said Adelaida. All three of the girls +laughed out loud, and the prince laughed with them. + +"Well, it's too bad of you," said mamma. "You must forgive them, +prince; they are good girls. I am very fond of them, though I +often have to be scolding them; they are all as silly and mad as +march hares." + +"Oh, why shouldn't they laugh?" said the prince. " I shouldn't +have let the chance go by in their place, I know. But I stick up +for the donkey, all the same; he's a patient, good-natured +fellow." + +"Are you a patient man, prince? I ask out of curiosity," said +Mrs. Epanchin. + +All laughed again. + +"Oh, that wretched donkey again, I see!" cried the lady. "I +assure you, prince, I was not guilty of the least--" + +"Insinuation? Oh! I assure you, I take your word for it." And the +prince continued laughing merrily. + +"I must say it's very nice of you to laugh. I see you really are +a kind-hearted fellow," said Mrs. Epanchin. + +"I'm not always kind, though." + +"I am kind myself, and ALWAYS kind too, if you please!" she +retorted, unexpectedly; "and that is my chief fault, for one +ought not to be always kind. I am often angry with these girls +and their father; but the worst of it is, I am always kindest +when I am cross. I was very angry just before you came, and +Aglaya there read me a lesson--thanks, Aglaya, dear--come and +kiss me--there--that's enough" she added, as Aglaya came forward +and kissed her lips and then her hand. "Now then, go on, prince. +Perhaps you can think of something more exciting than about the +donkey, eh?" + +"I must say, again, I can't understand how you can expect anyone +to tell you stories straight away, so," said Adelaida. "I know I +never could!" + +"Yes, but the prince can, because he is clever--cleverer than you +are by ten or twenty times, if you like. There, that's so, +prince; and seriously, let's drop the donkey now--what else did +you see abroad, besides the donkey?" + +"Yes, but the prince told us about the donkey very cleverly, all +the same," said Alexandra. "I have always been most interested to +hear how people go mad and get well again, and that sort of +thing. Especially when it happens suddenly." + +"Quite so, quite so!" cried Mrs. Epanchin, delighted. "I see you +CAN be sensible now and then, Alexandra. You were speaking of +Switzerland, prince?" + +"Yes. We came to Lucerne, and I was taken out in a boat. I felt +how lovely it was, but the loveliness weighed upon me somehow or +other, and made me feel melancholy." + +"Why?" asked Alexandra. + +"I don't know; I always feel like that when I look at the +beauties of nature for the first time; but then, I was ill at +that time, of course!" + +"Oh, but I should like to see it!" said Adelaida; "and I don't +know WHEN we shall ever go abroad. I've been two years looking +out for a good subject for a picture. I've done all I know. 'The +North and South I know by heart,' as our poet observes. Do help +me to a subject, prince." + +"Oh, but I know nothing about painting. It seems to me one only +has to look, and paint what one sees." + +"But I don't know HOW to see!" + +"Nonsense, what rubbish you talk!" the mother struck in. "Not +know how to see! Open your eyes and look! If you can't see here, +you won't see abroad either. Tell us what you saw yourself, +prince!" + +"Yes, that's better," said Adelaida; "the prince learned to see +abroad." + +"Oh, I hardly know! You see, I only went to restore my health. I +don't know whether I learned to see, exactly. I was very happy, +however, nearly all the time." + +"Happy! you can be happy?" cried Aglaya. "Then how can you say +you did not learn to see? I should think you could teach us to +see!" + +"Oh! DO teach us," laughed Adelaida. + +"Oh! I can't do that," said the prince, laughing too. "I lived +almost all the while in one little Swiss village; what can I +teach you? At first I was only just not absolutely dull; then my +health began to improve--then every day became dearer and more +precious to me, and the longer I stayed, the dearer became the +time to me; so much so that I could not help observing it; but +why this was so, it would be difficult to say." + +"So that you didn't care to go away anywhere else?" + +"Well, at first I did; I was restless; I didn't know however I +should manage to support life--you know there are such moments, +especially in solitude. There was a waterfall near us, such a +lovely thin streak of water, like a thread but white and moving. +It fell from a great height, but it looked quite low, and it was +half a mile away, though it did not seem fifty paces. I loved to +listen to it at night, but it was then that I became so restless. +Sometimes I went and climbed the mountain and stood there in the +midst of the tall pines, all alone in the terrible silence, with +our little village in the distance, and the sky so blue, and the +sun so bright, and an old ruined castle on the mountain-side, far +away. I used to watch the line where earth and sky met, and longed +to go and seek there the key of all mysteries, thinking that +I might find there a new life, perhaps some great city where life +should be grander and richer--and then it struck me that life may +be grand enough even in a prison." + +"I read that last most praiseworthy thought in my manual, when I +was twelve years old," said Aglaya. + +"All this is pure philosophy," said Adelaida. "You are a +philosopher, prince, and have come here to instruct us in your +views." + +"Perhaps you are right," said the prince, smiling. "I think I am +a philosopher, perhaps, and who knows, perhaps I do wish to teach +my views of things to those I meet with?" + +"Your philosophy is rather like that of an old woman we know, who +is rich and yet does nothing but try how little she can spend. +She talks of nothing but money all day. Your great philosophical +idea of a grand life in a prison and your four happy years in +that Swiss village are like this, rather," said Aglaya. + +"As to life in a prison, of course there may be two opinions," +said the prince. "I once heard the story of a man who lived +twelve years in a prison--I heard it from the man himself. He was +one of the persons under treatment with my professor; he had +fits, and attacks of melancholy, then he would weep, and once he +tried to commit suicide. HIS life in prison was sad enough; his +only acquaintances were spiders and a tree that grew outside his +grating-but I think I had better tell you of another man I met +last year. There was a very strange feature in this case, strange +because of its extremely rare occurrence. This man had once been +brought to the scaffold in company with several others, and had +had the sentence of death by shooting passed upon him for some +political crime. Twenty minutes later he had been reprieved and +some other punishment substituted; but the interval between the +two sentences, twenty minutes, or at least a quarter of an hour, +had been passed in the certainty that within a few minutes he +must die. I was very anxious to hear him speak of his impressions +during that dreadful time, and I several times inquired of him as +to what he thought and felt. He remembered everything with the +most accurate and extraordinary distinctness, and declared that +he would never forget a single iota of the experience. + +"About twenty paces from the scaffold, where he had stood to hear +the sentence, were three posts, fixed in the ground, to which to +fasten the criminals (of whom there were several). The first +three criminals were taken to the posts, dressed in long white +tunics, with white caps drawn over their faces, so that they +could not see the rifles pointed at them. Then a group of +soldiers took their stand opposite to each post. My friend was +the eighth on the list, and therefore he would have been among +the third lot to go up. A priest went about among them with a +cross: and there was about five minutes of time left for him to +live. + +"He said that those five minutes seemed to him to be a most +interminable period, an enormous wealth of time; he seemed to be +living, in these minutes, so many lives that there was no need as +yet to think of that last moment, so that he made several +arrangements, dividing up the time into portions--one for saying +farewell to his companions, two minutes for that; then a couple +more for thinking over his own life and career and all about +himself; and another minute for a last look around. He remembered +having divided his time like this quite well. While saying good- +bye to his friends he recollected asking one of them some very +usual everyday question, and being much interested in the answer. +Then having bade farewell, he embarked upon those two minutes +which he had allotted to looking into himself; he knew +beforehand what he was going to think about. He wished to put it +to himself as quickly and clearly as possible, that here was he, +a living, thinking man, and that in three minutes he would be +nobody; or if somebody or something, then what and where? He +thought he would decide this question once for all in these last +three minutes. A little way off there stood a church, and its +gilded spire glittered in the sun. He remembered staring +stubbornly at this spire, and at the rays of light sparkling from +it. He could not tear his eyes from these rays of light; he got +the idea that these rays were his new nature, and that in three +minutes he would become one of them, amalgamated somehow with +them. + +"The repugnance to what must ensue almost immediately, and the +uncertainty, were dreadful, he said; but worst of all was the +idea, 'What should I do if I were not to die now? What if I were +to return to life again? What an eternity of days, and all mine! +How I should grudge and count up every minute of it, so as to +waste not a single instant!' He said that this thought weighed so +upon him and became such a terrible burden upon his brain that he +could not bear it, and wished they would shoot him quickly and +have done with it." + +The prince paused and all waited, expecting him to go on again +and finish the story. + +"Is that all?" asked Aglaya. + +"All? Yes," said the prince, emerging from a momentary reverie. + +"And why did you tell us this?" + +"Oh, I happened to recall it, that's all! It fitted into the +conversation--" + +"You probably wish to deduce, prince," said Alexandra, "that +moments of time cannot be reckoned by money value, and that +sometimes five minutes are worth priceless treasures. All this is +very praiseworthy; but may I ask about this friend of yours, who +told you the terrible experience of his life? He was reprieved, +you say; in other words, they did restore to him that 'eternity +of days.' What did he do with these riches of time? Did he keep +careful account of his minutes?" + +"Oh no, he didn't! I asked him myself. He said that he had not +lived a bit as he had intended, and had wasted many, and many a +minute." + +"Very well, then there's an experiment, and the thing is proved; +one cannot live and count each moment; say what you like, but one +CANNOT." + +"That is true," said the prince, "I have thought so myself. And +yet, why shouldn't one do it?" + +"You think, then, that you could live more wisely than other +people?" said Aglaya. + +"I have had that idea." + +"And you have it still?" + +"Yes--I have it still," the prince replied. + +He had contemplated Aglaya until now, with a pleasant though +rather timid smile, but as the last words fell from his lips he +began to laugh, and looked at her merrily. + +"You are not very modest!" said she. + +"But how brave you are!" said he. "You are laughing, and I-- +that man's tale impressed me so much, that I dreamt of it +afterwards; yes, I dreamt of those five minutes . . ." + +He looked at his listeners again with that same serious, +searching expression. + +"You are not angry with me?" he asked suddenly, and with a kind +of nervous hurry, although he looked them straight in the face. + +"Why should we be angry?" they cried. + +"Only because I seem to be giving you a lecture, all the time!" + +At this they laughed heartily. + +"Please don't be angry with me," continued the prince. "I know +very well that I have seen less of life than other people, and +have less knowledge of it. I must appear to speak strangely +sometimes . . ." + +He said the last words nervously. + +"You say you have been happy, and that proves you have lived, not +less, but more than other people. Why make all these excuses?" +interrupted Aglaya in a mocking tone of voice. "Besides, you need +not mind about lecturing us; you have nothing to boast of. With +your quietism, one could live happily for a hundred years at +least. One might show you the execution of a felon, or show you +one's little finger. You could draw a moral from either, and be +quite satisfied. That sort of existence is easy enough." + +"I can't understand why you always fly into a temper," said Mrs. +Epanchin, who had been listening to the conversation and +examining the faces of the speakers in turn. "I do not understand +what you mean. What has your little finger to do with it? The +prince talks well, though he is not amusing. He began all right, +but now he seems sad." + +"Never mind, mamma! Prince, I wish you had seen an execution," +said Aglaya. "I should like to ask you a question about that, if +you had." + +"I have seen an execution," said the prince. + +"You have!" cried Aglaya. "I might have guessed it. That's a +fitting crown to the rest of the story. If you have seen an +execution, how can you say you lived happily all the while?" + +"But is there capital punishment where you were?" asked Adelaida. + +"I saw it at Lyons. Schneider took us there, and as soon as we +arrived we came in for that." + +"Well, and did you like it very much? Was it very edifying and +instructive?" asked Aglaya. + +"No, I didn't like it at all, and was ill after seeing it; but I +confess I stared as though my eyes were fixed to the sight. I +could not tear them away." + +"I, too, should have been unable to tear my eyes away," said +Aglaya. + +"They do not at all approve of women going to see an execution +there. The women who do go are condemned for it afterwards in the +newspapers." + +"That is, by contending that it is not a sight for women they +admit that it is a sight for men. I congratulate them on the +deduction. I suppose you quite agree with them, prince?" + +"Tell us about the execution," put in Adelaida. + +"I would much rather not, just now," said the prince, a little +disturbed and frowning slightly; + +" You don't seem to want to tell us," said Aglaya, with a mocking +air. + +" No,--the thing is, I was telling all about the execution a +little while ago, and--" + +"Whom did you tell about it?" + +"The man-servant, while I was waiting to see the general." + +"Our man-servant?" exclaimed several voices at once. + +"Yes, the one who waits in the entrance hall, a greyish, red- +faced man--" + +"The prince is clearly a democrat," remarked Aglaya. + +"Well, if you could tell Aleksey about it, surely you can tell us +too." + +"I do so want to hear about it," repeated Adelaida. + +"Just now, I confess," began the prince, with more animation, +"when you asked me for a subject for a picture, I confess I had +serious thoughts of giving you one. I thought of asking you to +draw the face of a criminal, one minute before the fall of the +guillotine, while the wretched man is still standing on the +scaffold, preparatory to placing his neck on the block." + +"What, his face? only his face?" asked Adelaida. "That would be a +strange subject indeed. And what sort of a picture would that +make?" + +"Oh, why not?" the prince insisted, with some warmth. "When I was +in Basle I saw a picture very much in that style--I should like +to tell you about it; I will some time or other; it struck me +very forcibly." + +"Oh, you shall tell us about the Basle picture another time; now +we must have all about the execution," said Adelaida. "Tell us +about that face as; it appeared to your imagination-how should it +be drawn?--just the face alone, do you mean?" + +"It was just a minute before the execution," began the prince, +readily, carried away by the recollection and evidently +forgetting everything else in a moment; "just at the instant when +he stepped off the ladder on to the scaffold. He happened to look +in my direction: I saw his eyes and understood all, at once--but +how am I to describe it? I do so wish you or somebody else could +draw it, you, if possible. I thought at the time what a picture +it would make. You must imagine all that went before, of course, +all--all. He had lived in the prison for some time and had not +expected that the execution would take place for at least a week +yet--he had counted on all the formalities and so on taking +time; but it so happened that his papers had been got ready +quickly. At five o'clock in the morning he was asleep--it was +October, and at five in the morning it was cold and dark. The +governor of the prison comes in on tip-toe and touches the +sleeping man's shoulder gently. He starts up. 'What is it?' he +says. 'The execution is fixed for ten o'clock.' He was only just +awake, and would not believe at first, but began to argue that +his papers would not be out for a week, and so on. When he was +wide awake and realized the truth, he became very silent and +argued no more--so they say; but after a bit he said: 'It comes +very hard on one so suddenly' and then he was silent again and +said nothing. + +"The three or four hours went by, of course, in necessary +preparations--the priest, breakfast, (coffee, meat, and some +wine they gave him; doesn't it seem ridiculous?) And yet I +believe these people give them a good breakfast out of pure +kindness of heart, and believe that they are doing a good action. +Then he is dressed, and then begins the procession through the +town to the scaffold. I think he, too, must feel that he has an +age to live still while they cart him along. Probably he thought, +on the way, 'Oh, I have a long, long time yet. Three streets of +life yet! When we've passed this street there'll be that other +one; and then that one where the baker's shop is on the right; +and when shall we get there? It's ages, ages!' Around him are +crowds shouting, yelling--ten thousand faces, twenty thousand +eyes. All this has to be endured, and especially the thought: +'Here are ten thousand men, and not one of them is going to be +executed, and yet I am to die.' Well, all that is preparatory. + +"At the scaffold there is a ladder, and just there he burst into +tears--and this was a strong man, and a terribly wicked one, they +say! There was a priest with him the whole time, talking; even in +the cart as they drove along, he talked and talked. Probably the +other heard nothing; he would begin to listen now and then, and +at the third word or so he had forgotten all about it. + +"At last he began to mount the steps; his legs were tied, so that +he had to take very small steps. The priest, who seemed to be a +wise man, had stopped talking now, and only held the cross for +the wretched fellow to kiss. At the foot of the ladder he had +been pale enough; but when he set foot on the scaffold at the +top, his face suddenly became the colour of paper, positively +like white notepaper. His legs must have become suddenly feeble +and helpless, and he felt a choking in his throat--you know the +sudden feeling one has in moments of terrible fear, when one does +not lose one's wits, but is absolutely powerless to move? If some +dreadful thing were suddenly to happen; if a house were just +about to fall on one;--don't you know how one would long to sit +down and shut one's eyes and wait, and wait? Well, when this +terrible feeling came over him, the priest quickly pressed the +cross to his lips, without a word--a little silver cross it was- +and he kept on pressing it to the man's lips every second. And +whenever the cross touched his lips, the eyes would open for a +moment, and the legs moved once, and he kissed the cross +greedily, hurriedly--just as though he were anxious to catch hold +of something in case of its being useful to him afterwards, +though he could hardly have had any connected religious thoughts +at the time. And so up to the very block. + +"How strange that criminals seldom swoon at such a moment! On the +contrary, the brain is especially active, and works incessantly-- +probably hard, hard, hard--like an engine at full pressure. I +imagine that various thoughts must beat loud and fast through his +head--all unfinished ones, and strange, funny thoughts, very +likely!--like this, for instance: 'That man is looking at me, and +he has a wart on his forehead! and the executioner has burst one +of his buttons, and the lowest one is all rusty!' And meanwhile +he notices and remembers everything. There is one point that +cannot be forgotten, round which everything else dances and turns +about; and because of this point he cannot faint, and this lasts +until the very final quarter of a second, when the wretched neck +is on the block and the victim listens and waits and KNOWS-- +that's the point, he KNOWS that he is just NOW about to die, and +listens for the rasp of the iron over his head. If I lay there, I +should certainly listen for that grating sound, and hear it, too! +There would probably be but the tenth part of an instant left to +hear it in, but one would certainly hear it. And imagine, some +people declare that when the head flies off it is CONSCIOUS of +having flown off! Just imagine what a thing to realize! Fancy if +consciousness were to last for even five seconds! + +"Draw the scaffold so that only the top step of the ladder comes +in clearly. The criminal must be just stepping on to it, his face +as white as note-paper. The priest is holding the cross to his +blue lips, and the criminal kisses it, and knows and sees and +understands everything. The cross and the head--there's your +picture; the priest and the executioner, with his two assistants, +and a few heads and eyes below. Those might come in as +subordinate accessories--a sort of mist. There's a picture for +you." The prince paused, and looked around. + +"Certainly that isn't much like quietism," murmured Alexandra, +half to herself. + +"Now tell us about your love affairs," said Adelaida, after a +moment's pause. + +The prince gazed at her in amazement. + +"You know," Adelaida continued, "you owe us a description of the +Basle picture; but first I wish to hear how you fell in love. +Don't deny the fact, for you did, of course. Besides, you stop +philosophizing when you are telling about anything." + +"Why are you ashamed of your stories the moment after you have +told them?" asked Aglaya, suddenly. + +"How silly you are!" said Mrs. Epanchin, looking indignantly +towards the last speaker. + +"Yes, that wasn't a clever remark," said Alexandra. + +"Don't listen to her, prince," said Mrs. Epanchin; "she says that +sort of thing out of mischief. Don't think anything of their +nonsense, it means nothing. They love to chaff, but they like +you. I can see it in their faces--I know their faces." + +"I know their faces, too," said the prince, with a peculiar +stress on the words. + +"How so?" asked Adelaida, with curiosity. + +"What do YOU know about our faces?" exclaimed the other two, in +chorus. + +But the prince was silent and serious. All awaited his reply. + +"I'll tell you afterwards," he said quietly. + +"Ah, you want to arouse our curiosity!" said Aglaya. "And how +terribly solemn you are about it!" + +"Very well," interrupted Adelaida, "then if you can read faces so +well, you must have been in love. Come now; I've guessed--let's +have the secret!" + +"I have not been in love," said the prince, as quietly and +seriously as before. "I have been happy in another way." + +"How, how?" + +"Well, I'll tell you," said the prince, apparently in a deep +reverie. + +VI. + +"Here you all are," began the prince, "settling yourselves down +to listen to me with so much curiosity, that if I do not satisfy +you you will probably be angry with me. No, no! I'm only +joking!" he added, hastily, with a smile. + +"Well, then--they were all children there, and I was always among +children and only with children. They were the children of the +village in which I lived, and they went to the school there--all +of them. I did not teach them, oh no; there was a master for +that, one Jules Thibaut. I may have taught them some things, but +I was among them just as an outsider, and I passed all four years +of my life there among them. I wished for nothing better; I used +to tell them everything and hid nothing from them. Their fathers +and relations were very angry with me, because the children could +do nothing without me at last, and used to throng after me at all +times. The schoolmaster was my greatest enemy in the end! I had +many enemies, and all because of the children. Even Schneider +reproached me. What were they afraid of? One can tell a child +everything, anything. I have often been struck by the fact that +parents know their children so little. They should not conceal so +much from them. How well even little children understand that +their parents conceal things from them, because they consider +them too young to understand! Children are capable of giving +advice in the most important matters. How can one deceive these +dear little birds, when they look at one so sweetly and +confidingly? I call them birds because there is nothing in the +world better than birds! + +"However, most of the people were angry with me about one and the +same thing; but Thibaut simply was jealous of me. At first he had +wagged his head and wondered how it was that the children +understood what I told them so well, and could not learn from +him; and he laughed like anything when I replied that neither he +nor I could teach them very much, but that THEY might teach us a +good deal. + +"How he could hate me and tell scandalous stories about me, +living among children as he did, is what I cannot understand. +Children soothe and heal the wounded heart. I remember there was +one poor fellow at our professor's who was being treated for +madness, and you have no idea what those children did for +him, eventually. I don't think he was mad, but only terribly +unhappy. But I'll tell you all about him another day. Now I must +get on with this story. + +"The children did not love me at first; I was such a sickly, +awkward kind of a fellow then--and I know I am ugly. Besides, I +was a foreigner. The children used to laugh at me, at first; and +they even went so far as to throw stones at me, when they saw me +kiss Marie. I only kissed her once in my life--no, no, don't +laugh!" The prince hastened to suppress the smiles of his +audience at this point. "It was not a matter of LOVE at all! If +only you knew what a miserable creature she was, you would have +pitied her, just as I did. She belonged to our village. Her +mother was an old, old woman, and they used to sell string and +thread, and soap and tobacco, out of the window of their little +house, and lived on the pittance they gained by this trade. The +old woman was ill and very old, and could hardly move. Marie was +her daughter, a girl of twenty, weak and thin and consumptive; +but still she did heavy work at the houses around, day by day. +Well, one fine day a commercial traveller betrayed her and +carried her off; and a week later he deserted her. She came home +dirty, draggled, and shoeless; she had walked for a whole week +without shoes; she had slept in the fields, and caught a terrible +cold; her feet were swollen and sore, and her hands torn and +scratched all over. She never had been pretty even before; but +her eyes were quiet, innocent, kind eyes. + +"She was very quiet always--and I remember once, when she had +suddenly begun singing at her work, everyone said, 'Marie tried +to sing today!' and she got so chaffed that she was silent for +ever after. She had been treated kindly in the place before; but +when she came back now--ill and shunned and miserable--not one of +them all had the slightest sympathy for her. Cruel people! Oh, +what hazy understandings they have on such matters! Her mother +was the first to show the way. She received her wrathfully, +unkindly, and with contempt. 'You have disgraced me,' she said. +She was the first to cast her into ignominy; but when they all +heard that Marie had returned to the village, they ran out to see +her and crowded into the little cottage--old men, children, women, +girls--such a hurrying, stamping, greedy crowd. Marie was +lying on the floor at the old woman's feet, hungry, torn, +draggled, crying, miserable. + +"When everyone crowded into the room she hid her face in her +dishevelled hair and lay cowering on the floor. Everyone looked +at her as though she were a piece of dirt off the road. The old +men scolded and condemned, and the young ones laughed at her. The +women condemned her too, and looked at her contemptuously, just +as though she were some loathsome insect. + +"Her mother allowed all this to go on, and nodded her head and +encouraged them. The old woman was very ill at that time, and +knew she was dying (she really did die a couple of months later), +and though she felt the end approaching she never thought of +forgiving her daughter, to the very day of her death. She would +not even speak to her. She made her sleep on straw in a shed, and +hardly gave her food enough to support life. + +"Marie was very gentle to her mother, and nursed her, and did +everything for her; but the old woman accepted all her services +without a word and never showed her the slightest kindness. Marie +bore all this; and I could see when I got to know her that she +thought it quite right and fitting, considering herself the +lowest and meanest of creatures. + +"When the old woman took to her bed finally, the other old women +in the village sat with her by turns, as the custom is there; and +then Marie was quite driven out of the house. They gave her no +food at all, and she could not get any work in the village; none +would employ her. The men seemed to consider her no longer a +woman, they said such dreadful things to her. Sometimes on +Sundays, if they were drunk enough, they used to throw her a +penny or two, into the mud, and Marie would silently pick up the +money. She had began to spit blood at that time. + +"At last her rags became so tattered and torn that she was +ashamed of appearing in the village any longer. The children used +to pelt her with mud; so she begged to be taken on as assistant +cowherd, but the cowherd would not have her. Then she took to +helping him without leave; and he saw how valuable her assistance +was to him, and did not drive her away again; on the contrary, he +occasionally gave her the remnants of his dinner, bread and +cheese. He considered that he was being very kind. When the +mother died, the village parson was not ashamed to hold Marie up +to public derision and shame. Marie was standing at the coffin's +head, in all her rags, crying. + +"A crowd of people had collected to see how she would cry. The +parson, a young fellow ambitious of becoming a great preacher, +began his sermon and pointed to Marie. 'There,' he said, 'there +is the cause of the death of this venerable woman'--(which was a +lie, because she had been ill for at least two years)--'there she +stands before you, and dares not lift her eyes from the ground, +because she knows that the finger of God is upon her. Look at her +tatters and rags--the badge of those who lose their virtue. Who +is she? her daughter!' and so on to the end. + +"And just fancy, this infamy pleased them, all of them, nearly. +Only the children had altered--for then they were all on my side +and had learned to love Marie. + +"This is how it was: I had wished to do something for Marie; I +longed to give her some money, but I never had a farthing while I +was there. But I had a little diamond pin, and this I sold to a +travelling pedlar; he gave me eight francs for it--it was worth +at least forty. + +"I long sought to meet Marie alone; and at last I did meet her, +on the hillside beyond the village. I gave her the eight francs +and asked her to take care of the money because I could get no +more; and then I kissed her and said that she was not to suppose +I kissed her with any evil motives or because I was in love with +her, for that I did so solely out of pity for her, and because +from the first I had not accounted her as guilty so much as +unfortunate. I longed to console and encourage her somehow, and +to assure her that she was not the low, base thing which she and +others strove to make out; but I don't think she understood me. +She stood before me, dreadfully ashamed of herself, and with +downcast eyes; and when I had finished she kissed my hand. I +would have kissed hers, but she drew it away. Just at this moment +the whole troop of children saw us. (I found out afterwards that +they had long kept a watch upon me.) They all began whistling and +clapping their hands, and laughing at us. Marie ran away at once; +and when I tried to talk to them, they threw stones at me. All +the village heard of it the same day, and Marie's position became +worse than ever. The children would not let her pass now in the +streets, but annoyed her and threw dirt at her more than before. +They used to run after her--she racing away with her poor feeble +lungs panting and gasping, and they pelting her and shouting +abuse at her. + +"Once I had to interfere by force; and after that I took to +speaking to them every day and whenever I could. Occasionally +they stopped and listened; but they teased Marie all the same. + +"I told them how unhappy Marie was, and after a while they +stopped their abuse of her, and let her go by silently. Little by +little we got into the way of conversing together, the children +and I. I concealed nothing from them, I told them all. They +listened very attentively and soon began to be sorry for Marie. +At last some of them took to saying 'Good-morning' to her, +kindly, when they met her. It is the custom there to salute +anyone you meet with 'Good-morning' whether acquainted or not. I +can imagine how astonished Marie was at these first greetings +from the children. + +"Once two little girls got hold of some food and took it to her, +and came back and told me. They said she had burst into tears, +and that they loved her very much now. Very soon after that they +all became fond of Marie, and at the same time they began to +develop the greatest affection for myself. They often came to me +and begged me to tell them stories. I think I must have told +stories well, for they did so love to hear them. At last I took +to reading up interesting things on purpose to pass them on to +the little ones, and this went on for all the rest of my time +there, three years. Later, when everyone--even Schneider--was +angry with me for hiding nothing from the children, I pointed out +how foolish it was, for they always knew things, only they learnt +them in a way that soiled their minds but not so from me. One has +only to remember one's own childhood to admit the truth of this. +But nobody was convinced. . . It was two weeks before her +mother died that I had kissed Marie; and when the clergyman +preached that sermon the children were all on my side. + +"When I told them what a shame it was of the parson to talk as he +had done, and explained my reason, they were so angry that some +of them went and broke his windows with stones. Of course I +stopped them, for that was not right, but all the village heard +of it, and how I caught it for spoiling the children! Everyone +discovered now that the little ones had taken to being fond of +Marie, and their parents were terribly alarmed; but Marie was so +happy. The children were forbidden to meet her; but they used to +run out of the village to the herd and take her food and things; +and sometimes just ran off there and kissed her, and said, 'Je +vous aime, Marie!' and then trotted back again. They imagined +that I was in love with Marie, and this was the only point on +which I did not undeceive them, for they got such enjoyment out of +it. And what delicacy and tenderness they showed! + +"In the evening I used to walk to the waterfall. There was a spot +there which was quite closed in and hidden from view by large +trees; and to this spot the children used to come to me. They +could not bear that their dear Leon should love a poor girl +without shoes to her feet and dressed all in rags and tatters. +So, would you believe it, they actually clubbed together, +somehow, and bought her shoes and stockings, and some linen, and +even a dress! I can't understand how they managed it, but they +did it, all together. When I asked them about it they only +laughed and shouted, and the little girls clapped their hands and +kissed me. I sometimes went to see Marie secretly, too. She had +become very ill, and could hardly walk. She still went with the +herd, but could not help the herdsman any longer. She used to sit +on a stone near, and wait there almost motionless all day, till +the herd went home. Her consumption was so advanced, and she was +so weak, that she used to sit with closed eyes, breathing +heavily. Her face was as thin as a skeleton's, and sweat used to +stand on her white brow in large drops. I always found her +sitting just like that. I used to come up quietly to look at her; +but Marie would hear me, open her eyes, and tremble violently as +she kissed my hands. I did not take my hand away because it made +her happy to have it, and so she would sit and cry quietly. +Sometimes she tried to speak; but it was very difficult to +understand her. She was almost like a madwoman, with excitement +and ecstasy, whenever I came. Occasionally the children came with +me; when they did so, they would stand some way off and keep +guard over us, so as to tell me if anybody came near. This was a +great pleasure to them. + +"When we left her, Marie used to relapse at once into her old +condition, and sit with closed eyes and motionless limbs. One day +she could not go out at all, and remained at home all alone in +the empty hut; but the children very soon became aware of the +fact, and nearly all of them visited her that day as she lay +alone and helpless in her miserable bed. + +"For two days the children looked after her, and then, when the +village people got to know that Marie was really dying, some of +the old women came and took it in turns to sit by her and look +after her a bit. I think they began to be a little sorry for her +in the village at last; at all events they did not interfere with +the children any more, on her account. + +"Marie lay in a state of uncomfortable delirium the whole while; +she coughed dreadfully. The old women would not let the children +stay in the room; but they all collected outside the window each +morning, if only for a moment, and shouted 'Bon jour, notre +bonne Marie!' and Marie no sooner caught sight of, or heard them, +and she became quite animated at once, and, in spite of the old +women, would try to sit up and nod her head and smile at them, +and thank them. The little ones used to bring her nice things and +sweets to eat, but she could hardly touch anything. Thanks to +them, I assure you, the girl died almost perfectly happy. She +almost forgot her misery, and seemed to accept their love as a +sort of symbol of pardon for her offence, though she never ceased +to consider herself a dreadful sinner. They used to flutter at +her window just like little birds, calling out: 'Nous t'aimons, +Marie!' + +"She died very soon; I had thought she would live much longer. +The day before her death I went to see her for the last time, +just before sunset. I think she recognized me, for she pressed my +hand. + +"Next morning they came and told me that Marie was dead. The +children could not be restrained now; they went and covered her +coffin with flowers, and put a wreath of lovely blossoms on her +head. The pastor did not throw any more shameful words at the +poor dead woman; but there were very few people at the funeral. +However, when it came to carrying the coffin, all the children +rushed up, to carry it themselves. Of course they could not do it +alone, but they insisted on helping, and walked alongside and +behind, crying. + +"They have planted roses all round her grave, and every year they +look alter the flowers and make Marie's resting-place as +beautiful as they can. I was in ill odour after all this with the +parents of the children, and especially with the parson and +schoolmaster. Schneider was obliged to promise that I should not +meet them and talk to them; but we conversed from a distance by +signs, and they used to write me sweet little notes. Afterwards I +came closer than ever to those little souls, but even then it was +very dear to me, to have them so fond of me. + +"Schneider said that I did the children great harm by my +pernicious 'system'; what nonsense that was! And what did he mean +by my system? He said afterwards that he believed I was a child +myself--just before I came away. 'You have the form and face of an +adult' he said, 'but as regards soul, and character, and perhaps +even intelligence, you are a child in the completest sense of the +word, and always will be, if you live to be sixty.' I laughed +very much, for of course that is nonsense. But it is a fact that +I do not care to be among grown-up people and much prefer the +society of children. However kind people may be to me, I never +feel quite at home with them, and am always glad to get back to +my little companions. Now my companions have always been +children, not because I was a child myself once, but because +young things attract me. On one of the first days of my stay in +Switzerland, I was strolling about alone and miserable, when I +came upon the children rushing noisily out of school, with their +slates and bags, and books, their games, their laughter and +shouts--and my soul went out to them. I stopped and laughed +happily as I watched their little feet moving so quickly. Girls +and boys, laughing and crying; for as they went home many of them +found time to fight and make peace, to weep and play. I forgot my +troubles in looking at them. And then, all those three years, I +tried to understand why men should be for ever tormenting +themselves. I lived the life of a child there, and thought I +should never leave the little village; indeed, I was far from +thinking that I should ever return to Russia. But at last I +recognized the fact that Schneider could not keep me any longer. +And then something so important happened, that Schneider himself +urged me to depart. I am going to see now if can get good advice +about it. Perhaps my lot in life will be changed; but that is not +the principal thing. The principal thing is the entire change +that has already come over me. I left many things behind me--too +many. They have gone. On the journey I said to myself, 'I am +going into the world of men. I don't know much, perhaps, but a +new life has begun for me.' I made up my mind to be honest, and +steadfast in accomplishing my task. Perhaps I shall meet with +troubles and many disappointments, but I have made up my mind to +be polite and sincere to everyone; more cannot be asked of me. +People may consider me a child if they like. I am often called an +idiot, and at one time I certainly was so ill that I was nearly +as bad as an idiot; but I am not an idiot now. How can I possibly +be so when I know myself that I am considered one? + +"When I received a letter from those dear little souls, while +passing through Berlin, I only then realized how much I loved +them. It was very, very painful, getting that first little +letter. How melancholy they had been when they saw me off! For a +month before, they had been talking of my departure and sorrowing +over it; and at the waterfall, of an evening, when we parted for +the night, they would hug me so tight and kiss me so warmly, far +more so than before. And every now and then they would turn up +one by one when I was alone, just to give me a kiss and a hug, to +show their love for me. The whole flock went with me to the +station, which was about a mile from the village, and every now +and then one of them would stop to throw his arms round me, and +all the little girls had tears in their voices, though they tried +hard not to cry. As the train steamed out of the station, I saw +them all standing on the platform waving to me and crying +'Hurrah!' till they were lost in the distance. + +"I assure you, when I came in here just now and saw your kind +faces (I can read faces well) my heart felt light for the first +time since that moment of parting. I think I must be one of those +who are born to be in luck, for one does not often meet with +people whom one feels he can love from the first sight of their +faces; and yet, no sooner do I step out of the railway carriage +than I happen upon you! + +"I know it is more or less a shamefaced thing to speak of one's +feelings before others; and yet here am I talking like this +to you, and am not a bit ashamed or shy. I am an unsociable +sort of fellow and shall very likely not come to see you again +for some time; but don't think the worse of me for that. It is +not that I do not value your society; and you must never suppose +that I have taken offence at anything. + +"You asked me about your faces, and what I could read in them; I +will tell you with the greatest pleasure. You, Adelaida Ivanovna, +have a very happy face; it is the most sympathetic of the three. +Not to speak of your natural beauty, one can look at your face +and say to one's self, 'She has the face of a kind sister.' You +are simple and merry, but you can see into another's heart very +quickly. That's what I read in your face. + +"You too, Alexandra Ivanovna, have a very lovely face; but I +think you may have some secret sorrow. Your heart is undoubtedly +a kind, good one, but you are not merry. There is a certain +suspicion of 'shadow' in your face, like in that of Holbein's +Madonna in Dresden. So much for your face. Have I guessed right? + +"As for your face, Lizabetha Prokofievna, I not only think, but +am perfectly SURE, that you are an absolute child--in all, in +all, mind, both good and bad-and in spite of your years. Don't be +angry with me for saying so; you know what my feelings for +children are. And do not suppose that I am so candid out of pure +simplicity of soul. Oh dear no, it is by no means the case! +Perhaps I have my own very profound object in view." + +VII. + +When the prince ceased speaking all were gazing merrily at him-- +even Aglaya; but Lizabetha Prokofievna looked the jolliest of +all. + +"Well!" she cried, "we HAVE 'put him through his paces,' with a +vengeance! My dears, you imagined, I believe, that you were about +to patronize this young gentleman, like some poor protege picked +up somewhere, and taken under your magnificent protection. What +fools we were, and what a specially big fool is your father! Well +done, prince! I assure you the general actually asked me to put +you through your paces, and examine you. As to what you said +about my face, you are absolutely correct in your judgment. I am +a child, and know it. I knew it long before you said so; you have +expressed my own thoughts. I think your nature and mine must be +extremely alike, and I am very glad of it. We are like two drops +of water, only you are a man and I a woman, and I've not been to +Switzerland, and that is all the difference between us." + +"Don't be in a hurry, mother; the prince says that he has some +motive behind his simplicity," cried Aglaya. + +"Yes, yes, so he does," laughed the others. + +"Oh, don't you begin bantering him," said mamma. "He is probably +a good deal cleverer than all three of you girls put together. We +shall see. Only you haven't told us anything about Aglaya yet, +prince; and Aglaya and I are both waiting to hear." + +"I cannot say anything at present. I'll tell you afterwards." + +"Why? Her face is clear enough, isn't it?" + +"Oh yes, of course. You are very beautiful, Aglaya Ivanovna, so +beautiful that one is afraid to look at you." + +"Is that all? What about her character?" persisted Mrs. Epanchin. + +"It is difficult to judge when such beauty is concerned. I have +not prepared my judgment. Beauty is a riddle." + +"That means that you have set Aglaya a riddle!" said Adelaida. +"Guess it, Aglaya! But she's pretty, prince, isn't she?" + +"Most wonderfully so," said the latter, warmly, gazing at Aglaya +with admiration. "Almost as lovely as Nastasia Philipovna, but +quite a different type." + +All present exchanged looks of surprise. + +"As lovely as WHO?" said Mrs. Epanchin. "As NASTASIA PHILIPOVNA? +Where have you seen Nastasia Philipovna? What Nastasia +Philipovna?" + +"Gavrila Ardalionovitch showed the general her portrait just +now." + +"How so? Did he bring the portrait for my husband?" + +"Only to show it. Nastasia Philipovna gave it to Gavrila +Ardalionovitch today, and the latter brought it here to show to +the general." + +"I must see it!" cried Mrs. Epanchin. "Where is the portrait? If +she gave it to him, he must have it; and he is still in the +study. He never leaves before four o'clock on Wednesdays. Send +for Gavrila Ardalionovitch at once. No, I don't long to see HIM +so much. Look here, dear prince, BE so kind, will you? Just step +to the study and fetch this portrait! Say we want to look at it. +Please do this for me, will you?" + +"He is a nice fellow, but a little too simple," said Adelaida, as +the prince left the room. + +"He is, indeed," said Alexandra; "almost laughably so at times." + +Neither one nor the other seemed to give expression to her full +thoughts. + +"He got out of it very neatly about our faces, though," said +Aglaya. He flattered us all round, even mamma." + +"Nonsense" cried the latter. "He did not flatter me. It was I who +found his appreciation flattering. I think you are a great deal +more foolish than he is. He is simple, of course, but also very +knowing. Just like myself." + +"How stupid of me to speak of the portrait," thought the prince +as he entered the study, with a feeling of guilt at his heart, +"and yet, perhaps I was right after all." He had an idea, +unformed as yet, but a strange idea. + +Gavrila Ardalionovitch was still sitting in the study, buried in +a mass of papers. He looked as though he did not take his salary +from the public company, whose servant he was, for a sinecure. + +He grew very wroth and confused when the prince asked for the +portrait, and explained how it came about that he had spoken of +it. + +"Oh, curse it all," he said; "what on earth must you go blabbing +for? You know nothing about the thing, and yet--idiot!" he added, +muttering the last word to himself in irrepressible rage. + +"I am very sorry; I was not thinking at the time. I merely said +that Aglaya was almost as beautiful as Nastasia Philipovna." + +Gania asked for further details; and the prince once more +repeated the conversation. Gania looked at him with ironical +contempt the while. + +"Nastasia Philipovna," he began, and there paused; he was clearly +much agitated and annoyed. The prince reminded him of the +portrait. + +"Listen, prince," said Gania, as though an idea had just struck +him, "I wish to ask you a great favour, and yet I really don't +know--" + +He paused again, he was trying to make up his mind to something, +and was turning the matter over. The prince waited quietly. Once +more Gania fixed him with intent and questioning eyes. + +"Prince," he began again, "they are rather angry with me, in +there, owing to a circumstance which I need not explain, so that +I do not care to go in at present without an invitation. I +particularly wish to speak to Aglaya, but I have written a few +words in case I shall not have the chance of seeing her" (here +the prince observed a small note in his hand), "and I do not know +how to get my communication to her. Don't you think you could +undertake to give it to her at once, but only to her, mind, and +so that no one else should see you give it? It isn't much of a +secret, but still--Well, will you do it?" + +"I don't quite like it," replied the prince. + +"Oh, but it is absolutely necessary for me," Gania entreated. +"Believe me, if it were not so, I would not ask you; how else am +I to get it to her? It is most important, dreadfully important!" + +Gania was evidently much alarmed at the idea that the prince +would not consent to take his note, and he looked at him now with +an expression of absolute entreaty. + +"Well, I will take it then." + +"But mind, nobody is to see!" cried the delighted Gania "And of +course I may rely on your word of honour, eh?" + +"I won't show it to anyone," said the prince. + +"The letter is not sealed--" continued Gania, and paused in +confusion. + +"Oh, I won't read it," said the prince, quite simply. + +He took up the portrait, and went out of the room. + +Gania, left alone, clutched his head with his hands. + +"One word from her," he said, "one word from her, and I may yet be +free." + +He could not settle himself to his papers again, for agitation +and excitement, but began walking up and down the room from +corner to corner. + +The prince walked along, musing. He did not like his commission, +and disliked the idea of Gania sending a note to Aglaya at all; but +when he was two rooms distant from the drawing-room, where they +all were, he stopped a though recalling something; went to the +window, nearer the light, and began to examine the portrait in +his hand. + +He longed to solve the mystery of something in the face Nastasia +Philipovna, something which had struck him as he looked at the +portrait for the first time; the impression had not left him. It +was partly the fact of her marvellous beauty that struck him, and +partly something else. There was a suggestion of immense pride +and disdain in the face almost of hatred, and at the same time +something confiding and very full of simplicity. The contrast +aroused a deep sympathy in his heart as he looked at the lovely +face. The blinding loveliness of it was almost intolerable, this +pale thin face with its flaming eyes; it was a strange beauty. + +The prince gazed at it for a minute or two, then glanced around +him, and hurriedly raised the portrait to his lips. When, a +minute after, he reached the drawing-room door, his face was +quite composed. But just as he reached the door he met Aglaya +coming out alone. + +"Gavrila Ardalionovitch begged me to give you this," he said, +handing her the note. + +Aglaya stopped, took the letter, and gazed strangely into the +prince's eyes. There was no confusion in her face; a little +surprise, perhaps, but that was all. By her look she seemed +merely to challenge the prince to an explanation as to how he and +Gania happened to be connected in this matter. But her expression +was perfectly cool and quiet, and even condescending. + +So they stood for a moment or two, confronting one another. At +length a faint smile passed over her face, and she passed by him +without a word. + +Mrs. Epanchin examined the portrait of Nastasia Philipovna for +some little while, holding it critically at arm's length. + +"Yes, she is pretty," she said at last, "even very pretty. I have +seen her twice, but only at a distance. So you admire this kind +of beauty, do you?" she asked the prince, suddenly. + +"Yes, I do--this kind." + +"Do you mean especially this kind?" + +"Yes, especially this kind." + +"Why?" + +"There is much suffering in this face," murmured the prince, more +as though talking to himself than answering the question. + +"I think you are wandering a little, prince," Mrs. Epanchin +decided, after a lengthened survey of his face; and she tossed +the portrait on to the table, haughtily. + +Alexandra took it, and Adelaida came up, and both the girls +examined the photograph. Just then Aglaya entered the room. + +"What a power!" cried Adelaida suddenly, as she earnestly +examined the portrait over her sister's shoulder. + +"Whom? What power?" asked her mother, crossly. + +"Such beauty is real power," said Adelaida. "With such beauty as +that one might overthrow the world." She returned to her easel +thoughtfully. + +Aglaya merely glanced at the portrait--frowned, and put out her +underlip; then went and sat down on the sofa with folded hands. +Mrs. Epanchin rang the bell. + +"Ask Gavrila Ardalionovitch to step this way," said she to the +man who answered. + +"Mamma!" cried Alexandra, significantly. + +"I shall just say two words to him, that's all," said her mother, +silencing all objection by her manner; she was evidently +seriously put out. "You see, prince, it is all secrets with us, +just now--all secrets. It seems to be the etiquette of the house, +for some reason or, other. Stupid nonsense, and in a matter +which ought to be approached with all candour and open- +heartedness. There is a marriage being talked of, and I don't +like this marriage--" + +"Mamma, what are you saying?" said Alexandra again, hurriedly. + +"Well, what, my dear girl? As if you can possibly like it +yourself? The heart is the great thing, and the rest is all +rubbish--though one must have sense as well. Perhaps sense is +really the great thing. Don't smile like that, Aglaya. I don't +contradict myself. A fool with a heart and no brains is just as +unhappy as a fool with brains and no heart. I am one and you are +the other, and therefore both of us suffer, both of us are +unhappy." + +"Why are you so unhappy, mother?" asked Adelaida, who alone of +all the company seemed to have preserved her good temper and +spirits up to now. + +"In the first place, because of my carefully brought-up +daughters," said Mrs. Epanchin, cuttingly; "and as that is the +best reason I can give you we need not bother about any other at +present. Enough of words, now! We shall see how both of you (I +don't count Aglaya) will manage your business, and whether you, +most revered Alexandra Ivanovna, will be happy with your fine +mate." + +"Ah!" she added, as Gania suddenly entered the room, "here's +another marrying subject. How do you do?" she continued, in +response to Gania's bow; but she did not invite him to sit down. +"You are going to be married?" + +"Married? how--what marriage?" murmured Gania, overwhelmed with +confusion. + +"Are you about to take a wife? I ask,--if you prefer that +expression." + +"No, no I-I--no!" said Gania, bringing out his lie with a tell- +tale blush of shame. He glanced keenly at Aglaya, who was sitting +some way off, and dropped his eyes immediately. + +Aglaya gazed coldly, intently, and composedly at him, without +taking her eyes off his face, and watched his confusion. + +"No? You say no, do you?" continued the pitiless Mrs. General. +"Very well, I shall remember that you told me this Wednesday +morning, in answer to my question, that you are not going to be +married. What day is it, Wednesday, isn't it?" + +"Yes, I think so!" said Adelaida. + +"You never know the day of the week; what's the day of the +month?" + +"Twenty-seventh!" said Gania. + +"Twenty-seventh; very well. Good-bye now; you have a good deal to +do, I'm sure, and I must dress and go out. Take your portrait. +Give my respects to your unfortunate mother, Nina Alexandrovna. +Au revoir, dear prince, come in and see us often, do; and I shall +tell old Princess Bielokonski about you. I shall go and see her +on purpose. And listen, my dear boy, I feel sure that God has +sent you to Petersburg from Switzerland on purpose for me. Maybe +you will have other things to do, besides, but you are sent +chiefly for my sake, I feel sure of it. God sent you to me! Au +revoir! Alexandra, come with me, my dear." + +Mrs. Epanchin left the room. + +Gania--confused, annoyed, furious--took up his portrait, and +turned to the prince with a nasty smile on his face. + +"Prince," he said, "I am just going home. If you have not changed +your mind as to living with us, perhaps you would like to come +with me. You don't know the address, I believe?" + +"Wait a minute, prince," said Aglaya, suddenly rising from her +seat, "do write something in my album first, will you? Father +says you are a most talented caligraphist; I'll bring you my book +in a minute." She left the room. + +"Well, au revoir, prince," said Adelaida, "I must be going too." +She pressed the prince's hand warmly, and gave him a friendly +smile as she left the room. She did not so much as look at Gania. + +"This is your doing, prince," said Gania, turning on the latter +so soon as the others were all out of the room. "This is your +doing, sir! YOU have been telling them that I am going to be +married!" He said this in a hurried whisper, his eyes flashing +with rage and his face ablaze. "You shameless tattler!" + +"I assure you, you are under a delusion," said the prince, calmly +and politely. "I did not even know that you were to be married." + +"You heard me talking about it, the general and me. You heard me +say that everything was to be settled today at Nastasia +Philipovna's, and you went and blurted it out here. You lie if +you deny it. Who else could have told them Devil take it, sir, +who could have told them except yourself? Didn't the old woman as +good as hint as much to me?" + +"If she hinted to you who told her you must know best, of course; +but I never said a word about it." + +"Did you give my note? Is there an answer?" interrupted Gania, +impatiently. + +But at this moment Aglaya came back, and the prince had no time +to reply. + +"There, prince," said she, "there's my album. Now choose a page +and write me something, will you? There's a pen, a new one; do +you mind a steel one? I have heard that you caligraphists don't +like steel pens." + +Conversing with the prince, Aglaya did not even seem to notice +that Gania was in the room. But while the prince was getting his +pen ready, finding a page, and making his preparations to write, +Gania came up to the fireplace where Aglaya was standing, to the +right of the prince, and in trembling, broken accents said, +almost in her ear: + +"One word, just one word from you, and I'm saved." + +The prince turned sharply round and looked at both of them. +Gania's face was full of real despair; he seemed to have said the +words almost unconsciously and on the impulse of the moment. + +Aglaya gazed at him for some seconds with precisely the same +composure and calm astonishment as she had shown a little while +before, when the prince handed her the note, and it appeared that +this calm surprise and seemingly absolute incomprehension of what +was said to her, were more terribly overwhelming to Gania than +even the most plainly expressed disdain would have been. + +"What shall I write?" asked the prince. + +"I'll dictate to you," said Aglaya, coming up to the table. "Now +then, are you ready? Write, 'I never condescend to bargain!' Now +put your name and the date. Let me see it." + +The prince handed her the album. + +"Capital! How beautifully you have written it! Thanks so much. Au +revoir, prince. Wait a minute,"; she added, "I want to give you +something for a keepsake. Come with me this way, will you?" + +The prince followed her. Arrived at the dining-room, she stopped. + +"Read this," she said, handing him Gania's note. + +The prince took it from her hand, but gazed at her in +bewilderment. + +"Oh! I KNOW you haven't read it, and that you could never be that +man's accomplice. Read it, I wish you to read it." + +The letter had evidently been written in a hurry: + +"My fate is to be decided today" (it ran), "you know how. This +day I must give my word irrevocably. I have no right to ask your +help, and I dare not allow myself to indulge in any hopes; but +once you said just one word, and that word lighted up the night +of my life, and became the beacon of my days. Say one more such +word, and save me from utter ruin. Only tell me, 'break off the +whole thing!' and I will do so this very day. Oh! what can it +cost you to say just this one word? In doing so you will but be +giving me a sign of your sympathy for me, and of your pity; only +this, only this; nothing more, NOTHING. I dare not indulge in any +hope, because I am unworthy of it. But if you say but this word, +I will take up my cross again with joy, and return once more to +my battle with poverty. I shall meet the storm and be glad of it; +I shall rise up with renewed strength. + +"Send me back then this one word of sympathy, only sympathy, I +swear to you; and oh! do not be angry with the audacity of +despair, with the drowning man who has dared to make this last +effort to save himself from perishing beneath the waters. + +"G.L." + +"This man assures me," said Aglaya, scornfully, when the prince +had finished reading the letter, "that the words 'break off +everything' do not commit me to anything whatever; and himself +gives me a written guarantee to that effect, in this letter. +Observe how ingenuously he underlines certain words, and how +crudely he glosses over his hidden thoughts. He must know that if +he 'broke off everything,' FIRST, by himself, and without telling +me a word about it or having the slightest hope on my account, +that in that case I should perhaps be able to change my opinion +of him, and even accept his--friendship. He must know that, but +his soul is such a wretched thing. He knows it and cannot make up +his mind; he knows it and yet asks for guarantees. He cannot +bring himself to TRUST, he wants me to give him hopes of myself +before he lets go of his hundred thousand roubles. As to the +'former word' which he declares 'lighted up the night of his +life,' he is simply an impudent liar; I merely pitied him once. +But he is audacious and shameless. He immediately began to hope, +at that very moment. I saw it. He has tried to catch me ever +since; he is still fishing for me. Well, enough of this. Take the +letter and give it back to him, as soon as you have left our +house; not before, of course." + +"And what shall I tell him by way of answer?" + +"Nothing--of course! That's the best answer. Is it the case that +you are going to live in his house?" + +"Yes, your father kindly recommended me to him." + +"Then look out for him, I warn you! He won't forgive you easily, +for taking back the letter." + +Aglaya pressed the prince's hand and left the room. Her face was +serious and frowning; she did not even smile as she nodded good- +bye to him at the door. + +"I'll just get my parcel and we'll go," said the prince to Gania, +as he re-entered the drawing-room. Gania stamped his foot with +impatience. His face looked dark and gloomy with rage. + +At last they left the house behind them, the prince carrying his +bundle. + +"The answer--quick--the answer!" said Gania, the instant they +were outside. "What did she say? Did you give the letter?" The +prince silently held out the note. Gania was struck motionless +with amazement. + +"How, what? my letter?" he cried. "He never delivered it! I might +have guessed it, oh! curse him! Of course she did not understand +what I meant, naturally! Why-why-WHY didn't you give her the note, +you--" + +"Excuse me; I was able to deliver it almost immediately after +receiving your commission, and I gave it, too, just as you asked +me to. It has come into my hands now because Aglaya Ivanovna has +just returned it to me." + +"How? When?" + +"As soon as I finished writing in her album for her, and when she +asked me to come out of the room with her (you heard?), we went +into the dining-room, and she gave me your letter to read, and +then told me to return it." + +"To READ?" cried Gania, almost at the top of his voice; "to READ, +and you read it?" + +And again he stood like a log in the middle of the pavement; so +amazed that his mouth remained open after the last word had left +it. + +"Yes, I have just read it." + +"And she gave it you to read herself--HERSELF?" + +"Yes, herself; and you may believe me when I tell you that I +would not have read it for anything without her permission." + +Gania was silent for a minute or two, as though thinking out some +problem. Suddenly he cried: + +"It's impossible, she cannot have given it to you to read! You +are lying. You read it yourself!" + +"I am telling you the truth," said the prince in his former +composed tone of voice; "and believe me, I am extremely sorry +that the circumstance should have made such an unpleasant +impression upon you!" + +"But, you wretched man, at least she must have said something? +There must be SOME answer from her!" + +"Yes, of course, she did say something!" + +"Out with it then, damn it! Out with it at once!" and Gania +stamped his foot twice on the pavement. + +"As soon as I had finished reading it, she told me that you were +fishing for her; that you wished to compromise her so far as to +receive some hopes from her, trusting to which hopes you might +break with the prospect of receiving a hundred thousand roubles. +She said that if you had done this without bargaining with her, +if you had broken with the money prospects without trying to +force a guarantee out of her first, she might have been your +friend. That's all, I think. Oh no, when I asked her what I was +to say, as I took the letter, she replied that 'no answer is the +best answer.' I think that was it. Forgive me if I do not use her +exact expressions. I tell you the sense as I understood it +myself." + +Ungovernable rage and madness took entire possession of Gania, +and his fury burst out without the least attempt at restraint. + +"Oh! that's it, is it!" he yelled. "She throws my letters out of +the window, does she! Oh! and she does not condescend to bargain, +while I DO, eh? We shall see, we shall see! I shall pay her out +for this." + +He twisted himself about with rage, and grew paler and paler; he +shook his fist. So the pair walked along a few steps. Gania did +not stand on ceremony with the prince; he behaved just as though +he were alone in his room. He clearly counted the latter as a +nonentity. But suddenly he seemed to have an idea, and +recollected himself. + +"But how was it?" he asked, "how was it that you (idiot that you +are)," he added to himself, "were so very confidential a couple +of hours after your first meeting with these people? How was +that, eh?" + +Up to this moment jealousy had not been one of his torments; now +it suddenly gnawed at his heart. + +"That is a thing I cannot undertake to explain," replied the +prince. Gania looked at him with angry contempt. + +"Oh! I suppose the present she wished to make to you, when she +took you into the dining-room, was her confidence, eh?" + +"I suppose that was it; I cannot explain it otherwise?" + +"But why, WHY? Devil take it, what did you do in there? Why did +they fancy you? Look here, can't you remember exactly what you +said to them, from the very beginning? Can't you remember?" + +"Oh, we talked of a great many things. When first I went in we +began to speak of Switzerland." + +"Oh, the devil take Switzerland!" + +"Then about executions." + +"Executions?" + +"Yes--at least about one. Then I told the whole three years' +story of my life, and the history of a poor peasant girl--" + +"Oh, damn the peasant girl! go on, go on!" said Gania, +impatiently. + +"Then how Schneider told me about my childish nature, and--" + +"Oh, CURSE Schneider and his dirty opinions! Go on." + +"Then I began to talk about faces, at least about the EXPRESSIONS +of faces, and said that Aglaya Ivanovna was nearly as lovely as +Nastasia Philipovna. It was then I blurted out about the +portrait--" + +"But you didn't repeat what you heard in the study? You didn't +repeat that--eh?" + +"No, I tell you I did NOT." + +"Then how did they--look here! Did Aglaya show my letter to the +old lady?" + +"Oh, there I can give you my fullest assurance that she did NOT. +I was there all the while--she had no time to do it!" + +"But perhaps you may not have observed it, oh, you damned idiot, +you!" he shouted, quite beside himself with fury. "You can't even +describe what went on." + +Gania having once descended to abuse, and receiving no check, +very soon knew no bounds or limit to his licence, as is often the +way in such cases. His rage so blinded him that he had not even +been able to detect that this "idiot," whom he was abusing to +such an extent, was very far from being slow of comprehension, +and had a way of taking in an impression, and afterwards giving +it out again, which was very un-idiotic indeed. But something a +little unforeseen now occurred. + +"I think I ought to tell you, Gavrila Ardalionovitch," said the +prince, suddenly, "that though I once was so ill that I really +was little better than an idiot, yet now I am almost recovered, +and that, therefore, it is not altogether pleasant to be called +an idiot to my face. Of course your anger is excusable, +considering the treatment you have just experienced; but I must +remind you that you have twice abused me rather rudely. I do not +like this sort of thing, and especially so at the first time of +meeting a man, and, therefore, as we happen to be at this moment +standing at a crossroad, don't you think we had better part, you +to the left, homewards, and I to the right, here? I have twenty- +five roubles, and I shall easily find a lodging." + +Gania was much confused, and blushed for shame "Do forgive me, +prince!" he cried, suddenly changing his abusive tone for one of +great courtesy. "For Heaven's sake, forgive me! You see what a +miserable plight I am in, but you hardly know anything of the +facts of the case as yet. If you did, I am sure you would forgive +me, at least partially. Of course it was inexcusable of me, I +know, but--" + +"Oh, dear me, I really do not require such profuse apologies," +replied the prince, hastily. "I quite understand how unpleasant +your position is, and that is what made you abuse me. So +come along to your house, after all. I shall be delighted--" + +"I am not going to let him go like this," thought Gania, glancing +angrily at the prince as they walked along. " The fellow has +sucked everything out of me, and now he takes off his mask-- +there's something more than appears, here we shall see. It shall +all be as clear as water by tonight, everything!" + +But by this time they had reached Gania's house. + +VIII. + +The flat occupied by Gania and his family was on the third floor +of the house. It was reached by a clean light staircase, and +consisted of seven rooms, a nice enough lodging, and one would +have thought a little too good for a clerk on two thousand +roubles a year. But it was designed to accommodate a few lodgers +on board terms, and had beer) taken a few months since, much to +the disgust of Gania, at the urgent request of his mother and his +sister, Varvara Ardalionovna, who longed to do something to +increase the family income a little, and fixed their hopes upon +letting lodgings. Gania frowned upon the idea. He thought it +infra dig, and did not quite like appearing in society +afterwards--that society in which he had been accustomed to pose +up to now as a young man of rather brilliant prospects. All these +concessions and rebuffs of fortune, of late, had wounded his +spirit severely, and his temper had become extremely irritable, +his wrath being generally quite out of proportion to the cause. +But if he had made up his mind to put up with this sort of life +for a while, it was only on the plain understanding with his +inner self that he would very soon change it all, and have things +as he chose again. Yet the very means by which he hoped to make +this change threatened to involve him in even greater +difficulties than he had had before. + +The flat was divided by a passage which led straight out of the +entrance-hall. Along one side of this corridor lay the three +rooms which were designed for the accommodation of the "highly +recommended" lodgers. Besides these three rooms there was +another small one at the end of the passage, close to the +kitchen, which was allotted to General Ivolgin, the nominal +master of the house, who slept on a wide sofa, and was obliged +to pass into and out of his room through the kitchen, and up +or down the back stairs. Colia, Gania's young brother, a +school-boy of thirteen, shared this room with his father. +He, too, had to sleep on an old sofa, a narrow, uncomfortable +thing with a torn rug over it; his chief duty being to look +after his father, who needed to be watched more and more +every day. + +The prince was given the middle room of the three, the first +being occupied by one Ferdishenko, while the third was empty. + +But Gania first conducted the prince to the family apartments. +These consisted of a "salon," which became the dining-room when +required; a drawing-room, which was only a drawing-room in the +morning, and became Gania's study in the evening, and his bedroom +at night; and lastly Nina Alexandrovna's and Varvara's bedroom, a +small, close chamber which they shared together. + +In a word, the whole place was confined, and a "tight fit" for +the party. Gania used to grind his teeth with rage over the state +of affairs; though he was anxious to be dutiful and polite to his +mother. However, it was very soon apparent to anyone coming into +the house, that Gania was the tyrant of the family. + +Nina Alexandrovna and her daughter were both seated in the +drawing-room, engaged in knitting, and talking to a visitor, Ivan +Petrovitch Ptitsin. + +The lady of the house appeared to be a woman of about fifty years +of age, thin-faced, and with black lines under the eves. She +looked ill and rather sad; but her face was a pleasant one for +all that; and from the first word that fell from her lips, any +stranger would at once conclude that she was of a serious and +particularly sincere nature. In spite of her sorrowful +expression, she gave the idea of possessing considerable firmness +and decision. + +Her dress was modest and simple to a degree, dark and elderly in +style; but both her face and appearance gave evidence that she +had seen better days. + +Varvara was a girl of some twenty-three summers, of middle +height, thin, but possessing a face which, without being actually +beautiful, had the rare quality of charm, and might fascinate +even to the extent of passionate regard. + +She was very like her mother: she even dressed like her, which +proved that she had no taste for smart clothes. The expression of +her grey eyes was merry and gentle, when it was not, as lately, +too full of thought and anxiety. The same decision and firmness +was to be observed in her face as in her mother's, but her +strength seemed to be more vigorous than that of Nina +Alexandrovna. She was subject to outbursts of temper, of which +even her brother was a little afraid. + +The present visitor, Ptitsin, was also afraid of her. This was a +young fellow of something under thirty, dressed plainly, but +neatly. His manners were good, but rather ponderously so. His +dark beard bore evidence to the fact that he was not in any +government employ. He could speak well, but preferred silence. On +the whole he made a decidedly agreeable impression. He was +clearly attracted by Varvara, and made no secret of his feelings. +She trusted him in a friendly way, but had not shown him any +decided encouragement as yet, which fact did not quell his ardour +in the least. + +Nina Alexandrovna was very fond of him, and had grown quite +confidential with him of late. Ptitsin, as was well known, was +engaged in the business of lending out money on good security, +and at a good rate of interest. He was a great friend of Gania's. + +After a formal introduction by Gania (who greeted his mother very +shortly, took no notice of his sister, and immediately marched +Ptitsin out of the room), Nina Alexandrovna addressed a few kind +words to the prince and forthwith requested Colia, who had just +appeared at the door, to show him to the " middle room." + +Colia was a nice-looking boy. His expression was simple and +confiding, and his manners were very polite and engaging. + +"Where's your luggage?" he asked, as he led the prince away to +his room. + +"I had a bundle; it's in the entrance hall." + +"I'll bring it you directly. We only have a cook and one maid, so +I have to help as much as I can. Varia looks after things, +generally, and loses her temper over it. Gania says you have only +just arrived from Switzerland? " + +"Yes." + +"Is it jolly there?" + +"Very." + +"Mountains?" + +"Yes." + +"I'll go and get your bundle." + +Here Varvara joined them. + +"The maid shall bring your bed-linen directly. Have you a +portmanteau?" + +"No; a bundle--your brother has just gone to the hall for it." + +"There's nothing there except this," said Colia, returning at +this moment. "Where did you put it?" + +"Oh! but that's all I have," said the prince, taking it. + +"Ah! I thought perhaps Ferdishenko had taken it." + +"Don't talk nonsense," said Varia, severely. She seemed put out, +and was only just polite with the prince. + +"Oho!" laughed the boy, "you can be nicer than that to ME, you +know--I'm not Ptitsin!" + +"You ought to be whipped, Colia, you silly boy. If you want +anything" (to the prince) "please apply to the servant. We dine +at half-past four. You can take your dinner with us, or have it +in your room, just as you please. Come along, Colia, don't +disturb the prince." + +At the door they met Gania coming in. + +"Is father in?" he asked. Colia whispered something in his ear +and went out. + +"Just a couple of words, prince, if you'll excuse me. Don't blab +over THERE about what you may see here, or in this house as to +all that about Aglaya and me, you know. Things are not altogether +pleasant in this establishment--devil take it all! You'll see. At +all events keep your tongue to yourself for TODAY." + +"I assure you I 'blabbed' a great deal less than you seem to +suppose," said the prince, with some annoyance. Clearly the +relations between Gania and himself were by no means improving. + +"Oh I well; I caught it quite hot enough today, thanks to you. +However, I forgive you." + +"I think you might fairly remember that I was not in any way +bound, I had no reason to be silent about that portrait. You +never asked me not to mention it." + +"Pfu! what a wretched room this is--dark, and the window looking +into the yard. Your coming to our house is, in no respect, +opportune. However, it's not MY affair. I don't keep the +lodgings." + +Ptitsin here looked in and beckoned to Gania, who hastily left +the room, in spite of the fact that he had evidently wished to +say something more and had only made the remark about the room to +gain time. The prince had hardly had time to wash and tidy +himself a little when the door opened once more, and another +figure appeared. + +This was a gentleman of about thirty, tall, broadshouldered, and +red-haired; his face was red, too, and he possessed a pair of +thick lips, a wide nose, small eyes, rather bloodshot, and with +an ironical expression in them; as though he were perpetually +winking at someone. His whole appearance gave one the idea of +impudence; his dress was shabby. + +He opened the door just enough to let his head in. His head +remained so placed for a few seconds while he quietly scrutinized +the room; the door then opened enough to admit his body; but +still he did not enter. He stood on the threshold and examined +the prince carefully. At last he gave the door a final shove, +entered, approached the prince, took his hand and seated himself +and the owner of the room on two chairs side by side. + +"Ferdishenko," he said, gazing intently and inquiringly into the +prince's eyes. + +"Very well, what next?" said the latter, almost laughing in his +face. + +"A lodger here," continued the other, staring as before. + +"Do you wish to make acquaintance?" asked the prince. + +"Ah!" said the visitor, passing his fingers through his hair and +sighing. He then looked over to the other side of the room and +around it. "Got any money?" he asked, suddenly. + +"Not much." + +"How much?" + +"Twenty-five roubles." + +"Let's see it." + +The prince took his banknote out and showed it to Ferdishenko. +The latter unfolded it and looked at it; then he turned it round +and examined the other side; then he held it up to the light. + +"How strange that it should have browned so," he said, +reflectively. "These twenty-five rouble notes brown in a most +extraordinary way, while other notes often grow paler. Take it." + +The prince took his note. Ferdishenko rose. + +"I came here to warn you," he said. "In the first place, don't +lend me any money, for I shall certainly ask you to." + +"Very well." + +"Shall you pay here?" + +"Yes, I intend to." + +"Oh! I DON'T intend to. Thanks. I live here, next door to you; +you noticed a room, did you? Don't come to me very often; I shall +see you here quite often enough. Have you seen the general?" + +"No." + +"Nor heard him?" + +"No; of course not." + +"Well, you'll both hear and see him soon; he even tries to borrow +money from me. Avis au lecteur. Good-bye; do you think a man can +possibly live with a name like Ferdishenko?" + +"Why not?" + +"Good-bye." + +And so he departed. The prince found out afterwards that this +gentleman made it his business to amaze people with his +originality and wit, but that it did not as a rule "come off." He +even produced a bad impression on some people, which grieved him +sorely; but he did not change his ways for all that. + +As he went out of the prince's room, he collided with yet another +visitor coming in. Ferdishenko took the opportunity of making +several warning gestures to the prince from behind the new +arrival's back, and left the room in conscious pride. + +This next arrival was a tall red-faced man of about fifty-five, +with greyish hair and whiskers, and large eyes which stood out of +their sockets. His appearance would have been distinguished had +it not been that he gave the idea of being rather dirty. He was +dressed in an old coat, and he smelled of vodka when he came +near. His walk was effective, and he clearly did his best to +appear dignified, and to impress people by his manner. + +This gentleman now approached the prince slowly, and with a most +courteous smile; silently took his hand and held it in his own, +as he examined the prince's features as though searching for +familiar traits therein. + +"'Tis he, 'tis he!" he said at last, quietly, but with much +solemnity. "As though he were alive once more. I heard the +familiar name-the dear familiar name--and, oh. I how it reminded +me of the irrevocable past--Prince Muishkin, I believe ?" + +"Exactly so." + +"General Ivolgin--retired and unfortunate. May I ask your +Christian and generic names?" + +"Lef Nicolaievitch." + +"So, so--the son of my old, I may say my childhood's friend, +Nicolai Petrovitch." + +"My father's name was Nicolai Lvovitch." + +"Lvovitch," repeated the general without the slightest haste, and +with perfect confidence, just as though he had not committed +himself the least in the world, but merely made a little slip of +the tongue. He sat down, and taking the prince's hand, drew him +to a seat next to himself. + +"I carried you in my arms as a baby," he observed. + +"Really?" asked the prince. "Why, it's twenty years since my +father died." + +"Yes, yes--twenty years and three months. We were educated +together; I went straight into the army, and he--" + +"My father went into the army, too. He was a sub-lieutenant in +the Vasiliefsky regiment." + +"No, sir--in the Bielomirsky; he changed into the latter shortly +before his death. I was at his bedside when he died, and gave him +my blessing for eternity. Your mother--" The general paused, as +though overcome with emotion. + +"She died a few months later, from a cold," said the prince. + +"Oh, not cold--believe an old man--not from a cold, but from +grief for her prince. Oh--your mother, your mother! heigh-ho! +Youth--youth! Your father and I--old friends as we were--nearly +murdered each other for her sake." + +The prince began to be a little incredulous. + +"I was passionately in love with her when she was engaged-- +engaged to my friend. The prince noticed the fact and was +furious. He came and woke me at seven o'clock one morning. I rise +and dress in amazement; silence on both sides. I understand it +all. He takes a couple of pistols out of his pocket--across a +handkerchief--without witnesses. Why invite witnesses when both +of us would be walking in eternity in a couple of minutes? The +pistols are loaded; we stretch the handkerchief and stand +opposite one another. We aim the pistols at each other's hearts. +Suddenly tears start to our eyes, our hands shake; we weep, we +embrace--the battle is one of self-sacrifice now! The prince +shouts, 'She is yours;' I cry, 'She is yours--' in a word, in a +word--You've come to live with us, hey?" + +"Yes--yes--for a while, I think," stammered the prince. + +"Prince, mother begs you to come to her," said Colia, appearing +at the door. + +The prince rose to go, but the general once more laid his hand in +a friendly manner on his shoulder, and dragged him down on to the +sofa. + +"As the true friend of your father, I wish to say a few words to +you," he began. "I have suffered--there was a catastrophe. I +suffered without a trial; I had no trial. Nina Alexandrovna my +wife, is an excellent woman, so is my daughter Varvara. We have +to let lodgings because we are poor--a dreadful, unheard-of come- +down for us--for me, who should have been a governor-general; but +we are very glad to have YOU, at all events. Meanwhile there is a +tragedy in the house." + +The prince looked inquiringly at the other. + +"Yes, a marriage is being arranged--a marriage between a +questionable woman and a young fellow who might be a flunkey. +They wish to bring this woman into the house where my wife and +daughter reside, but while I live and breathe she shall never +enter my doors. I shall lie at the threshold, and she shall +trample me underfoot if she does. I hardly talk to Gania now, and +avoid him as much as I can. I warn you of this beforehand, but +you cannot fail to observe it. But you are the son of my old +friend, and I hope--" + +"Prince, be so kind as to come to me for a moment in the drawing- +room," said Nina Alexandrovna herself, appearing at the door. + +"Imagine, my dear," cried the general, "it turns out that I have +nursed the prince on my knee in the old days." His wife looked +searchingly at him, and glanced at the prince, but said nothing. +The prince rose and followed her; but hardly had they reached the +drawing-room, and Nina Alexandrovna had begun to talk hurriedly, +when in came the general. She immediately relapsed into silence. +The master of the house may have observed this, but at all events +he did not take any notice of it; he was in high good humour. + +"A son of my old friend, dear," he cried; "surely you must +remember Prince Nicolai Lvovitch? You saw him at--at Tver." + +"I don't remember any Nicolai Lvovitch, Was that your father?" +she inquired of the prince. + +"Yes, but he died at Elizabethgrad, not at Tver," said the +prince, rather timidly. "So Pavlicheff told me." + +"No, Tver," insisted the general; "he removed just before his +death. You were very small and cannot remember; and Pavlicheff, +though an excellent fellow, may have made a mistake." + +"You knew Pavlicheff then?" + +"Oh, yes--a wonderful fellow; but I was present myself. I gave +him my blessing." + +"My father was just about to be tried when he died," said the +prince, "although I never knew of what he was accused. He died in +hospital." + +"Oh! it was the Kolpakoff business, and of course he would have +been acquitted." + +"Yes? Do you know that for a fact?" asked the prince, whose +curiosity was aroused by the general's words. + +"I should think so indeed!" cried the latter. "The court-martial +came to no decision. It was a mysterious, an impossible business, +one might say! Captain Larionoff, commander of the company, had +died; his command was handed over to the prince for the moment. +Very well. This soldier, Kolpakoff, stole some leather from one +of his comrades, intending to sell it, and spent the money on +drink. Well! The prince--you understand that what follows took +place in the presence of the sergeant-major, and a corporal--the +prince rated Kolpakoff soundly, and threatened to have him +flogged. Well, Kolpakoff went back to the barracks, lay down on a +camp bedstead, and in a quarter of an hour was dead: you quite +understand? It was, as I said, a strange, almost impossible, +affair. In due course Kolpakoff was buried; the prince wrote his +report, the deceased's name was removed from the roll. All as it +should be, is it not? But exactly three months later at the +inspection of the brigade, the man Kolpakoff was found in the +third company of the second battalion of infantry, Novozemlianski +division, just as if nothing had happened!" + +"What?" said the prince, much astonished. + +"It did not occur--it's a mistake!" said Nina Alexandrovna +quickly, looking, at the prince rather anxiously. "Mon mari se +trompe," she added, speaking in French. + +"My dear, 'se trompe' is easily said. Do you remember any case at +all like it? Everybody was at their wits' end. I should be the +first to say 'qu'on se trompe,' but unfortunately I was an eye- +witness, and was also on the commission of inquiry. Everything +proved that it was really he, the very same soldier Kolpakoff who +had been given the usual military funeral to the sound of the +drum. It is of course a most curious case--nearly an impossible +one. I recognize that ... but--" + +"Father, your dinner is ready," said Varvara at this point, +putting her head in at the door. + +"Very glad, I'm particularly hungry. Yes, yes, a strange +coincidence--almost a psychological--" + +"Your soup'll be cold; do come." + +"Coming, coming " said the general. "Son of my old friend--" he +was heard muttering as he went down the passage. + +"You will have to excuse very much in my husband, if you stay +with us," said Nina Alexandrovna; "but he will not disturb you +often. He dines alone. Everyone has his little peculiarities, you +know, and some people perhaps have more than those who are most +pointed at and laughed at. One thing I must beg of you-if my +husband applies to you for payment for board and lodging, tell +him that you have already paid me. Of course anything paid by you +to the general would be as fully settled as if paid to me, so far +as you are concerned; but I wish it to be so, if you please, for +convenience' sake. What is it, Varia?" + +Varia had quietly entered the room, and was holding out the +portrait of Nastasia Philipovna to her mother. + +Nina Alexandrovna started, and examined the photograph intently, +gazing at it long and sadly. At last she looked up inquiringly at +Varia. + +"It's a present from herself to him," said Varia; "the question +is to be finally decided this evening." + +"This evening!" repeated her mother in a tone of despair, but +softly, as though to herself. "Then it's all settled, of course, +and there's no hope left to us. She has anticipated her answer by +the present of her portrait. Did he show it you himself?" she +added, in some surprise. + +"You know we have hardly spoken to each other for a whole month. +Ptitsin told me all about it; and the photo was lying under the +table, and I picked it up." + +"Prince," asked Nina Alexandrovna, "I wanted to inquire whether +you have known my son long? I think he said that you had only +arrived today from somewhere." + +The prince gave a short narrative of what we have heard before, +leaving out the greater part. The two ladies listened intently. + +"I did not ask about Gania out of curiosity," said the elder, at +last. "I wish to know how much you know about him, because he +said just now that we need not stand on ceremony with you. What, +exactly, does that mean?" + +At this moment Gania and Ptitsin entered the room together, and +Nina Alexandrovna immediately became silent again. The prince +remained seated next to her, but Varia moved to the other end of +the room; the portrait of Nastasia Philipovna remained lying as +before on the work-table. Gania observed it there, and with a +frown of annoyance snatched it up and threw it across to his +writing-table, which stood at the other end of the room. + +"Is it today, Gania?" asked Nina Alexandrovna, at last. + +"Is what today?" cried the former. Then suddenly recollecting +himself, he turned sharply on the prince. "Oh," he growled, "I +see, you are here, that explains it! Is it a disease, or what, +that you can't hold your tongue? Look here, understand once for +all, prince--" + +"I am to blame in this, Gania--no one else," said Ptitsin. + +Gania glanced inquiringly at the speaker. + +"It's better so, you know, Gania--especially as, from one point +of view, the matter may be considered as settled," said Ptitsin; +and sitting down a little way from the table he began to study a +paper covered with pencil writing. + +Gania stood and frowned, he expected a family scene. He never +thought of apologizing to the prince, however. + +"If it's all settled, Gania, then of course Mr. Ptitsin is +right," said Nina Alexandrovna. "Don't frown. You need not worry +yourself, Gania; I shall ask you no questions. You need not tell +me anything you don't like. I assure you I have quite submitted +to your will." She said all this, knitting away the while as +though perfectly calm and composed. + +Gania was surprised, but cautiously kept silence and looked at +his mother, hoping that she would express herself more clearly. +Nina Alexandrovna observed his cautiousness and added, with a +bitter smile: + +"You are still suspicious, I see, and do not believe me; but you +may be quite at your ease. There shall be no more tears, nor +questions--not from my side, at all events. All I wish is that +you may be happy, you know that. I have submitted to my fate; but +my heart will always be with you, whether we remain united, or +whether we part. Of course I only answer for myself--you can +hardly expect your sister--" + +"My sister again," cried Gania, looking at her with contempt and +almost hate. "Look here, mother, I have already given you my word +that I shall always respect you fully and absolutely, and so +shall everyone else in this house, be it who it may, who shall +cross this threshold." + +Gania was so much relieved that he gazed at his mother almost +affectionately. + +"I was not at all afraid for myself, Gania, as you know well. It +was not for my own sake that I have been so anxious and worried +all this time! They say it is all to be settled to-day. What is +to be settled?" + +"She has promised to tell me tonight at her own house whether +she consents or not," replied Gania. + +"We have been silent on this subject for three weeks," said his +mother, "and it was better so; and now I will only ask you one +question. How can she give her consent and make you a present of +her portrait when you do not love her? How can such a--such a--" + +"Practised hand--eh?" + +"I was not going to express myself so. But how could you so blind +her?" + +Nina Alexandrovna's question betrayed intense annoyance. Gania +waited a moment and then said, without taking the trouble to +conceal the irony of his tone: + +"There you are, mother, you are always like that. You begin by +promising that there are to be no reproaches or insinuations or +questions, and here you are beginning them at once. We had better +drop the subject--we had, really. I shall never leave you, +mother; any other man would cut and run from such a sister as +this. See how she is looking at me at this moment! Besides, how +do you know that I am blinding Nastasia Philipovna? As for Varia, +I don't care--she can do just as she pleases. There, that's quite +enough!" + +Gania's irritation increased with every word he uttered, as he +walked up and down the room. These conversations always touched +the family sores before long. + +"I have said already that the moment she comes in I go out, and I +shall keep my word," remarked Varia. + +"Out of obstinacy" shouted Gania. "You haven't married, either, +thanks to your obstinacy. Oh, you needn't frown at me, Varvara! +You can go at once for all I care; I am sick enough of your +company. What, you are going to leave us are you, too?" he cried, +turning to the prince, who was rising from his chair. + +Gania's voice was full of the most uncontrolled and +uncontrollable irritation. + +The prince turned at the door to say something, but perceiving in +Gania's expression that there was but that one drop wanting to +make the cup overflow, he changed his mind and left the room +without a word. A few minutes later he was aware from the noisy +voices in the drawing room, that the conversation had become more +quarrelsome than ever after his departure. + +He crossed the salon and the entrance-hall, so as to pass down +the corridor into his own room. As he came near the front door he +heard someone outside vainly endeavouring to ring the bell, which +was evidently broken, and only shook a little, without emitting +any sound. + +The prince took down the chain and opened the door. He started +back in amazement--for there stood Nastasia Philipovna. He knew +her at once from her photograph. Her eyes blazed with anger as +she looked at him. She quickly pushed by him into the hall, +shouldering him out of her way, and said, furiously, as she threw +off her fur cloak: + +"If you are too lazy to mend your bell, you should at least wait +in the hall to let people in when they rattle the bell handle. +There, now, you've dropped my fur cloak--dummy!" + +Sure enough the cloak was lying on the ground. Nastasia had +thrown it off her towards the prince, expecting him to catch it, +but the prince had missed it. + +"Now then--announce me, quick!" + +The prince wanted to say something, but was so confused and +astonished that he could not. However, he moved off towards the +drawing-room with the cloak over his arm. + +"Now then, where are you taking my cloak to? Ha, ha, ha! Are you +mad?" + +The prince turned and came back, more confused than ever. When +she burst out laughing, he smiled, but his tongue could not form +a word as yet. At first, when he had opened the door and saw her +standing before him, he had become as pale as death; but now the +red blood had rushed back to his cheeks in a torrent. + +"Why, what an idiot it is!" cried Nastasia, stamping her foot +with irritation. "Go on, do! Whom are you going to announce?" + +"Nastasia Philipovna," murmured the prince. + +"And how do you know that?" she asked him, sharply. + +"I have never seen you before!" + +"Go on, announce me--what's that noise?" + +"They are quarrelling," said the prince, and entered the drawing- +room, just as matters in there had almost reached a crisis. Nina +Alexandrovna had forgotten that she had "submitted to +everything!" She was defending Varia. Ptitsin was taking her +part, too. Not that Varia was afraid of standing up for herself. +She was by no means that sort of a girl; but her brother was +becoming ruder and more intolerable every moment. Her usual +practice in such cases as the present was to say nothing, but +stare at him, without taking her eyes off his face for an +instant. This manoeuvre, as she well knew, could drive Gania +distracted. + +Just at this moment the door opened and the prince entered, +announcing: + +"Nastasia Philipovna!" + +IX. + +Silence immediately fell on the room; all looked at the prince as +though they neither understood, nor hoped to understand. Gania +was motionless with horror. + +Nastasia's arrival was a most unexpected and overwhelming event +to all parties. In the first place, she had never been before. Up +to now she had been so haughty that she had never even asked +Gania to introduce her to his parents. Of late she had not so +much as mentioned them. Gania was partly glad of this; but still +he had put it to her debit in the account to be settled after +marriage. + +He would have borne anything from her rather than this visit. But +one thing seemed to him quite clear-her visit now, and the +present of her portrait on this particular day, pointed out +plainly enough which way she intended to make her decision! + +The incredulous amazement with which all regarded the prince did +not last long, for Nastasia herself appeared at the door and +passed in, pushing by the prince again. + +"At last I've stormed the citadel! Why do you tie up your bell?" +she said, merrily, as she pressed Gania's hand, the latter having +rushed up to her as soon as she made her appearance. "What are +you looking so upset about? Introduce me, please!" + +The bewildered Gania introduced her first to Varia, and both +women, before shaking hands, exchanged looks of strange import. +Nastasia, however, smiled amiably; but Varia did not try to look +amiable, and kept her gloomy expression. She did not even +vouchsafe the usual courteous smile of etiquette. Gania darted a +terrible glance of wrath at her for this, but Nina Alexandrovna, +mended matters a little when Gania introduced her at last. +Hardly, however, had the old lady begun about her " highly +gratified feelings," and so on, when Nastasia left her, and +flounced into a chair by Gania's side in the corner by the +window, and cried: "Where's your study? and where are the--the +lodgers? You do take in lodgers, don't you?" + +Gania looked dreadfully put out, and tried to say something in +reply, but Nastasia interrupted him: + +"Why, where are you going to squeeze lodgers in here? Don't you +use a study? Does this sort of thing pay?" she added, turning to +Nina Alexandrovna. + +"Well, it is troublesome, rather," said the latter; "but I +suppose it will 'pay' pretty well. We have only just begun, +however--" + +Again Nastasia Philipovna did not hear the sentence out. She +glanced at Gania, and cried, laughing, "What a face! My goodness, +what a face you have on at this moment!" + +Indeed, Gania did not look in the least like himself. His +bewilderment and his alarmed perplexity passed off, however, and +his lips now twitched with rage as he continued to stare evilly +at his laughing guest, while his countenance became absolutely +livid. + +There was another witness, who, though standing at the door +motionless and bewildered himself, still managed to remark +Gania's death-like pallor, and the dreadful change that had come +over his face. This witness was the prince, who now advanced in +alarm and muttered to Gania: + +"Drink some water, and don't look like that!" + +It was clear that he came out with these words quite +spontaneously, on the spur of the moment. But his speech was +productive of much--for it appeared that all. Gania's rage now +overflowed upon the prince. He seized him by the shoulder and +gazed with an intensity of loathing and revenge at him, but said +nothing--as though his feelings were too strong to permit of +words. + +General agitation prevailed. Nina Alexandrovna gave a little cry +of anxiety; Ptitsin took a step forward in alarm; Colia and +Ferdishenko stood stock still at the door in amazement;--only +Varia remained coolly watching the scene from under her +eyelashes. She did not sit down, but stood by her mother with +folded hands. However, Gania recollected himself almost +immediately. He let go of the prince and burst out laughing. + +"Why, are you a doctor, prince, or what?" he asked, as naturally +as possible. "I declare you quite frightened me! Nastasia +Philipovna, let me introduce this interesting character to you-- +though I have only known him myself since the morning." + +Nastasia gazed at the prince in bewilderment. "Prince? He a +Prince? Why, I took him for the footman, just now, and sent him +in to announce me! Ha, ha, ha, isn't that good!" + +"Not bad that, not bad at all!" put in Ferdishenko, "se non e +vero--" + +"I rather think I pitched into you, too, didn't I? Forgive me--do! +Who is he, did you say? What prince? Muishkin?" she added, +addressing Gania. + +"He is a lodger of ours," explained the latter. + +"An idiot!"--the prince distinctly heard the word half whispered +from behind him. This was Ferdishenko's voluntary information for +Nastasia's benefit. + +"Tell me, why didn't you put me right when I made such a dreadful +mistake just now?" continued the latter, examining the prince +from head to foot without the slightest ceremony. She awaited the +answer as though convinced that it would be so foolish that she +must inevitably fail to restrain her laughter over it. + +"I was astonished, seeing you so suddenly--" murmured the prince. + +"How did you know who I was? Where had you seen me before? And +why were you so struck dumb at the sight of me? What was there so +overwhelming about me?" + +"Oho! ho, ho, ho!" cried Ferdishenko. "NOW then, prince! My +word, what things I would say if I had such a chance as that! My +goodness, prince--go on!" + +"So should I, in your place, I've no doubt!" laughed the prince +to Ferdishenko; then continued, addressing Nastasia: "Your +portrait struck me very forcibly this morning; then I was talking +about you to the Epanchins; and then, in the train, before I +reached Petersburg, Parfen Rogojin told me a good deal about you; +and at the very moment that I opened the door to you I happened +to be thinking of you, when--there you stood before me!" + +"And how did you recognize me?" + +"From the portrait!" + +"What else?" + +"I seemed to imagine you exactly as you are--I seemed to have +seen you somewhere." + +"Where--where?" + +"I seem to have seen your eyes somewhere; but it cannot be! I +have not seen you--I never was here before. I may have dreamed of +you, I don't know." + +The prince said all this with manifest effort--in broken +sentences, and with many drawings of breath. He was evidently +much agitated. Nastasia Philipovna looked at him inquisitively, +but did not laugh. + +"Bravo, prince!" cried Ferdishenko, delighted. + +At this moment a loud voice from behind the group which hedged in +the prince and Nastasia Philipovna, divided the crowd, as it +were, and before them stood the head of the family, General +Ivolgin. He was dressed in evening clothes; his moustache was +dyed. + +This apparition was too much for Gania. Vain and ambitious almost +to morbidness, he had had much to put up with in the last two +months, and was seeking feverishly for some means of enabling +himself to lead a more presentable kind of existence. At home, he +now adopted an attitude of absolute cynicism, but he could not +keep this up before Nastasia Philipovna, although he had sworn to +make her pay after marriage for all he suffered now. He was +experiencing a last humiliation, the bitterest of all, at this +moment--the humiliation of blushing for his own kindred in his own +house. A question flashed through his mind as to whether the game +was really worth the candle. + +For that had happened at this moment, which for two months had +been his nightmare; which had filled his soul with dread and +shame--the meeting between his father and Nastasia Philipovna. He +had often tried to imagine such an event, but had found the +picture too mortifying and exasperating, and had quietly dropped +it. Very likely he anticipated far worse things than was at all +necessary; it is often so with vain persons. He had long since +determined, therefore, to get his father out of the way, +anywhere, before his marriage, in order to avoid such a meeting; +but when Nastasia entered the room just now, he had been so +overwhelmed with astonishment, that he had not thought of his +father, and had made no arrangements to keep him out of the way. +And now it was too late--there he was, and got up, too, in a dress +coat and white tie, and Nastasia in the very humour to heap +ridicule on him and his family circle; of this last fact, he felt +quite persuaded. What else had she come for? There were his +mother and his sister sitting before her, and she seemed to have +forgotten their very existence already; and if she behaved like +that, he thought, she must have some object in view. + +Ferdishenko led the general up to Nastasia Philipovna. + +"Ardalion Alexandrovitch Ivolgin," said the smiling general, with +a low bow of great dignity, "an old soldier, unfortunate, and the +father of this family; but happy in the hope of including in that +family so exquisite--" + +He did not finish his sentence, for at this moment Ferdishenko +pushed a chair up from behind, and the general, not very firm on +his legs, at this post-prandial hour, flopped into it backwards. +It was always a difficult thing to put this warrior to confusion, +and his sudden descent left him as composed as before. He had sat +down just opposite to Nastasia, whose fingers he now took, and +raised to his lips with great elegance, and much courtesy. The +general had once belonged to a very select circle of society, but +he had been turned out of it two or three years since on account +of certain weaknesses, in which he now indulged with all the less +restraint; but his good manners remained with him to this day, in +spite of all. + +Nastasia Philipovna seemed delighted at the appearance of this +latest arrival, of whom she had of course heard a good deal by +report. + +"I have heard that my son--" began Ardalion Alexandrovitch. + +"Your son, indeed! A nice papa you are! YOU might have come to +see me anyhow, without compromising anyone. Do you hide yourself, +or does your son hide you?" + +"The children of the nineteenth century, and their parents--" +began the general, again. + +"Nastasia Philipovna, will you excuse the general for a moment? +Someone is inquiring for him," said Nina Alexandrovna in a loud +voice, interrupting the conversation. + +"Excuse him? Oh no, I have wished to see him too long for that. +Why, what business can he have? He has retired, hasn't he? You +won't leave me, general, will you?" + +"I give you my word that he shall come and see you--but he--he +needs rest just now." + +"General, they say you require rest," said Nastasia Philipovna, +with the melancholy face of a child whose toy is taken away. + +Ardalion Alexandrovitch immediately did his best to make his +foolish position a great deal worse. + +"My dear, my dear!" he said, solemnly and reproachfully, looking +at his wife, with one hand on his heart. + +"Won't you leave the room, mamma?" asked Varia, aloud. + +"No, Varia, I shall sit it out to the end." + +Nastasia must have overheard both question and reply, but her +vivacity was not in the least damped. On the contrary, it seemed +to increase. She immediately overwhelmed the general once more +with questions, and within five minutes that gentleman was as +happy as a king, and holding forth at the top of his voice, amid +the laughter of almost all who heard him. + +Colia jogged the prince's arm. + +"Can't YOU get him out of the room, somehow? DO, please," and +tears of annoyance stood in the boy's eyes. "Curse that Gania!" +he muttered, between his teeth. + +"Oh yes, I knew General Epanchin well," General Ivolgin was +saying at this moment; "he and Prince Nicolai Ivanovitch +Muishkin--whose son I have this day embraced after an absence of +twenty years--and I, were three inseparables. Alas one is in the +grave, torn to pieces by calumnies and bullets; another is now +before you, still battling with calumnies and bullets--" + +"Bullets?" cried Nastasia. + +"Yes, here in my chest. I received them at the siege of Kars, and +I feel them in bad weather now. And as to the third of our trio, +Epanchin, of course after that little affair with the poodle in +the railway carriage, it was all UP between us." + +"Poodle? What was that? And in a railway carriage? Dear me," said +Nastasia, thoughtfully, as though trying to recall something to +mind. + +"Oh, just a silly, little occurrence, really not worth telling, +about Princess Bielokonski's governess, Miss Smith, and--oh, it +is really not worth telling!" + +"No, no, we must have it!" cried Nastasia merrily. + +"Yes, of course," said Ferdishenko. "C'est du nouveau." + +"Ardalion," said Nina Alexandrovitch, entreatingly. + +"Papa, you are wanted!" cried Colia. + +"Well, it is a silly little story, in a few words," began the +delighted general. "A couple of years ago, soon after the new +railway was opened, I had to go somewhere or other on business. +Well, I took a first-class ticket, sat down, and began to smoke, +or rather CONTINUED to smoke, for I had lighted up before. I was +alone in the carriage. Smoking is not allowed, but is not +prohibited either; it is half allowed--so to speak, winked at. I +had the window open." + +"Suddenly, just before the whistle, in came two ladies with a +little poodle, and sat down opposite to me; not bad-looking +women; one was in light blue, the other in black silk. The +poodle, a beauty with a silver collar, lay on light blue's knee. +They looked haughtily about, and talked English together. I took +no notice, just went on smoking. I observed that the ladies were +getting angry--over my cigar, doubtless. One looked at me through +her tortoise-shell eyeglass. + +"I took no notice, because they never said a word. If they didn't +like the cigar, why couldn't they say so? Not a word, not a hint! +Suddenly, and without the very slightest suspicion of warning, +'light blue' seizes my cigar from between my fingers, and, +wheugh! out of the window with it! Well, on flew the train, and I +sat bewildered, and the young woman, tall and fair, and rather +red in the face, too red, glared at me with flashing eyes. + +"I didn't say a word, but with extreme courtesy, I may say with +most refined courtesy, I reached my finger and thumb over towards +the poodle, took it up delicately by the nape of the neck, and +chucked it out of the window, after the cigar. The train went +flying on, and the poodle's yells were lost in the distance." + +"Oh, you naughty man!" cried Nastasia, laughing and clapping her +hands like a child. + +"Bravo!" said Ferdishenko. Ptitsin laughed too, though he had +been very sorry to see the general appear. Even Colia laughed and +said, "Bravo!" + +"And I was right, truly right," cried the general, with warmth +and solemnity, "for if cigars are forbidden in railway carriages, +poodles are much more so." + +"Well, and what did the lady do?" asked Nastasia, impatiently. + +" She--ah, that's where all the mischief of it lies!" replied +Ivolgin, frowning. "Without a word, as it were, of warning, she +slapped me on the cheek! An extraordinary woman!" + +"And you?" + +The general dropped his eyes, and elevated his brows; shrugged +his shoulders, tightened his lips, spread his hands, and remained +silent. At last he blurted out: + +"I lost my head!" + +"Did you hit her?" + +"No, oh no!--there was a great flare-up, but I didn't hit her! I +had to struggle a little, purely to defend myself; but the very +devil was in the business. It turned out that 'light blue' was an +Englishwoman, governess or something, at Princess Bielokonski's, +and the other woman was one of the old-maid princesses +Bielokonski. Well, everybody knows what great friends the +princess and Mrs. Epanchin are, so there was a pretty kettle of +fish. All the Bielokonskis went into mourning for the poodle. Six +princesses in tears, and the Englishwoman shrieking! + +"Of course I wrote an apology, and called, but they would not +receive either me or my apology, and the Epanchins cut me, too!" + +"But wait," said Nastasia. "How is it that, five or six days +since, I read exactly the same story in the paper, as happening +between a Frenchman and an English girl? The cigar was snatched +away exactly as you describe, and the poodle was chucked out of +the window after it. The slapping came off, too, as in your case; +and the girl's dress was light blue!" + +The general blushed dreadfully; Colia blushed too; and Ptitsin +turned hastily away. Ferdishenko was the only one who laughed as +gaily as before. As to Gania, I need not say that he was +miserable; he stood dumb and wretched and took no notice of +anybody. + +"I assure you," said the general, "that exactly the same thing +happened to myself!" + +"I remembered there was some quarrel between father and Miss +Smith, the Bielokonski's governess," said Colia. + +"How very curious, point for point the same anecdote, and +happening at different ends of Europe! Even the light blue dress +the same," continued the pitiless Nastasia. "I must really send +you the paper." + +"You must observe," insisted the general, "that my experience was +two years earlier." + +"Ah! that's it, no doubt!" + +Nastasia Philipovna laughed hysterically. + +"Father, will you hear a word from me outside!" said Gania, his +voice shaking with agitation, as he seized his father by the +shoulder. His eyes shone with a blaze of hatred. + +At this moment there was a terrific bang at the front door, +almost enough to break it down. Some most unusual visitor must +have arrived. Colia ran to open. + +X. + +THE entrance-hall suddenly became full of noise and people. To +judge from the sounds which penetrated to the drawing-room, a +number of people had already come in, and the stampede continued. +Several voices were talking and shouting at once; others were +talking and shouting on the stairs outside; it was evidently a +most extraordinary visit that was about to take place. + +Everyone exchanged startled glances. Gania rushed out towards the +dining-room, but a number of men had already made their way in, +and met him. + +"Ah! here he is, the Judas!" cried a voice which the prince +recognized at once. "How d'ye do, Gania, you old blackguard?" + +"Yes, that's the man!" said another voice. + +There was no room for doubt in the prince's mind: one of the +voices was Rogojin's, and the other Lebedeff's. + +Gania stood at the door like a block and looked on in silence, +putting no obstacle in the way of their entrance, and ten or a +dozen men marched in behind Parfen Rogojin. They were a decidedly +mixed-looking collection, and some of them came in in their furs +and caps. None of them were quite drunk, but all appeared to De +considerably excited. + +They seemed to need each other's support, morally, before they +dared come in; not one of them would have entered alone but with +the rest each one was brave enough. Even Rogojin entered rather +cautiously at the head of his troop; but he was evidently +preoccupied. He appeared to be gloomy and morose, and had clearly +come with some end in view. All the rest were merely chorus, +brought in to support the chief character. Besides Lebedeff there +was the dandy Zalesheff, who came in without his coat and hat, +two or three others followed his example; the rest were more +uncouth. They included a couple of young merchants, a man in a +great-coat, a medical student, a little Pole, a small fat man who +laughed continuously, and an enormously tall stout one who +apparently put great faith in the strength of his fists. A couple +of "ladies" of some sort put their heads in at the front door, +but did not dare come any farther. Colia promptly banged the door +in their faces and locked it. + +"Hallo, Gania, you blackguard! You didn't expect Rogojin, eh?" +said the latter, entering the drawing-room, and stopping before +Gania. + +But at this moment he saw, seated before him, Nastasia +Philipovna. He had not dreamed of meeting her here, evidently, +for her appearance produced a marvellous effect upon him. He grew +pale, and his lips became actually blue. + +"I suppose it is true, then!" he muttered to himself, and his +face took on an expression of despair. "So that's the end of it! +Now you, sir, will you answer me or not?" he went on suddenly, +gazing at Gania with ineffable malice. "Now then, you--" + +He panted, and could hardly speak for agitation. He advanced into +the room mechanically; but perceiving Nina Alexandrovna and Varia +he became more or less embarrassed, in spite of his excitement. +His followers entered after him, and all paused a moment at sight +of the ladies. Of course their modesty was not fated to be long- +lived, but for a moment they were abashed. Once let them begin to +shout, however, and nothing on earth should disconcert them. + +"What, you here too, prince?" said Rogojin, absently, but a +little surprised all the same " Still in your gaiters, eh?" He +sighed, and forgot the prince next moment, and his wild eyes +wandered over to Nastasia again, as though attracted in that +direction by some magnetic force. + +Nastasia looked at the new arrivals with great curiosity. Gania +recollected himself at last. + +"Excuse me, sirs," he said, loudly, "but what does all this +mean?" He glared at the advancing crowd generally, but addressed +his remarks especially to their captain, Rogojin. "You are not in +a stable, gentlemen, though you may think it--my mother and +sister are present." + +"Yes, I see your mother and sister," muttered Rogojin, through +his teeth; and Lebedeff seemed to feel himself called upon to +second the statement. + +"At all events, I must request you to step into the salon," said +Gania, his rage rising quite out of proportion to his words, "and +then I shall inquire--" + +"What, he doesn't know me!" said Rogojin, showing his teeth +disagreeably. "He doesn't recognize Rogojin!" He did not move an +inch, however. + +"I have met you somewhere, I believe, but--" + +"Met me somewhere, pfu! Why, it's only three months since I lost +two hundred roubles of my father's money to you, at cards. The +old fellow died before he found out. Ptitsin knows all about it. +Why, I've only to pull out a three-rouble note and show it to +you, and you'd crawl on your hands and knees to the other end of +the town for it; that's the sort of man you are. Why, I've come +now, at this moment, to buy you up! Oh, you needn't think that +because I wear these boots I have no money. I have lots of money, +my beauty,--enough to buy up you and all yours together. So I +shall, if I like to! I'll buy you up! I will!" he yelled, +apparently growing more and more intoxicated and excited." Oh, +Nastasia Philipovna! don't turn me out! Say one word, do! Are you +going to marry this man, or not?" + +Rogojin asked his question like a lost soul appealing to some +divinity, with the reckless daring of one appointed to die, who +has nothing to lose. + +He awaited the reply in deadly anxiety. + +Nastasia Philipovna gazed at him with a haughty, ironical. +expression of face; but when she glanced at Nina Alexandrovna and +Varia, and from them to Gania, she changed her tone, all of a +sudden. + +"Certainly not; what are you thinking of? What could have induced +you to ask such a question?" she replied, quietly and seriously, +and even, apparently, with some astonishment. + +"No? No?" shouted Rogojin, almost out of his mind with joy. "You +are not going to, after all? And they told me--oh, Nastasia +Philipovna--they said you had promised to marry him, HIM! As if +you COULD do it!--him--pooh! I don't mind saying it to everyone-- +I'd buy him off for a hundred roubles, any day pfu! Give him a +thousand, or three if he likes, poor devil' and he'd cut and run +the day before his wedding, and leave his bride to me! Wouldn't +you, Gania, you blackguard? You'd take three thousand, wouldn't +you? Here's the money! Look, I've come on purpose to pay you off +and get your receipt, formally. I said I'd buy you up, and so I +will." + +"Get out of this, you drunken beast!" cried Gania, who was red +and white by turns. + +Rogojin's troop, who were only waiting for an excuse, set up a +howl at this. Lebedeff stepped forward and whispered something in +Parfen's ear. + +"You're right, clerk," said the latter, "you're right, tipsy +spirit--you're right!--Nastasia Philipovna," he added, looking at +her like some lunatic, harmless generally, but suddenly wound up +to a pitch of audacity, "here are eighteen thousand roubles, +and--and you shall have more--." Here he threw a packet of bank- +notes tied up in white paper, on the table before her, not daring +to say all he wished to say. + +"No-no-no!" muttered Lebedeff, clutching at his arm. He was +clearly aghast at the largeness of the sum, and thought a far +smaller amount should have been tried first. + +"No, you fool--you don't know whom you are dealing with--and it +appears I am a fool, too!" said Parfen, trembling beneath the +flashing glance of Nastasia. "Oh, curse it all! What a fool I +was to listen to you!" he added, with profound melancholy. + +Nastasia Philipovna, observing his woe-begone expression, +suddenly burst out laughing. + +"Eighteen thousand roubles, for me? Why, you declare yourself a +fool at once," she said, with impudent familiarity, as she rose +from the sofa and prepared to go. Gania watched the whole scene +with a sinking of the heart. + +"Forty thousand, then--forty thousand roubles instead of eighteen! +Ptitsin and another have promised to find me forty thousand +roubles by seven o'clock tonight. Forty thousand roubles--paid +down on the nail!" + +The scene was growing more and more disgraceful; but Nastasia +Philipovna continued to laugh and did not go away. Nina +Alexandrovna and Varia had both risen from their places and were +waiting, in silent horror, to see what would happen. Varia's eyes +were all ablaze with anger; but the scene had a different effect +on Nina Alexandrovna. She paled and trembled, and looked more and +more like fainting every moment. + +"Very well then, a HUNDRED thousand! a hundred thousand! paid +this very day. Ptitsin! find it for me. A good share shall stick +to your fingers--come!" + +"You are mad!" said Ptitsin, coming up quickly and seizing him by +the hand. "You're drunk--the police will be sent for if you don't +look out. Think where you are." + +"Yes, he's boasting like a drunkard," added Nastasia, as though +with the sole intention of goading him. + +"I do NOT boast! You shall have a hundred thousand, this very +day. Ptitsin, get the money, you gay usurer! Take what you like +for it, but get it by the evening! I'll show that I'm in +earnest!" cried Rogojin, working himself up into a frenzy of +excitement. + +"Come, come; what's all this?" cried General Ivolgin, suddenly +and angrily, coming close up to Rogojin. The unexpectedness of +this sally on the part of the hitherto silent old man caused some +laughter among the intruders. + +"Halloa! what's this now?" laughed Rogojin. "You come along with +me, old fellow! You shall have as much to drink as you like." + +"Oh, it's too horrible!" cried poor Colia, sobbing with shame and +annoyance. + +"Surely there must be someone among all of you here who will turn +this shameless creature out of the room?" cried Varia, suddenly. +She was shaking and trembling with rage. + +"That's me, I suppose. I'm the shameless creature!" cried +Nastasia Philipovna, with amused indifference. "Dear me, and I +came--like a fool, as I am--to invite them over to my house for +the evening! Look how your sister treats me, Gavrila +Ardalionovitch." + +For some moments Gania stood as if stunned or struck by +lightning, after his sister's speech. But seeing that Nastasia +Philipovna was really about to leave the room this time, he +sprang at Varia and seized her by the arm like a madman. + +"What have you done?" he hissed, glaring at her as though he +would like to annihilate her on the spot. He was quite beside +himself, and could hardly articulate his words for rage. + +"What have I done? Where are you dragging me to?" + +"Do you wish me to beg pardon of this creature because she has +come here to insult our mother and disgrace the whole household, +you low, base wretch?" cried Varia, looking back at her brother +with proud defiance. + +A few moments passed as they stood there face to face, Gania +still holding her wrist tightly. Varia struggled once--twice--to +get free; then could restrain herself no longer, and spat in his +face. + +"There's a girl for you!" cried Nastasia Philipovna. "Mr. +Ptitsin, I congratulate you on your choice." + +Gania lost his head. Forgetful of everything he aimed a blow at +Varia, which would inevitably have laid her low, but suddenly +another hand caught his. Between him and Varia stood the prince. + +"Enough--enough!" said the latter, with insistence, but all of a +tremble with excitement. + +"Are you going to cross my path for ever, damn you!" cried Gania; +and, loosening his hold on Varia, he slapped the prince's face +with all his force. + +Exclamations of horror arose on all sides. The prince grew pale +as death; he gazed into Gania's eyes with a strange, wild, +reproachful look; his lips trembled and vainly endeavoured to +form some words; then his mouth twisted into an incongruous +smile. + +"Very well--never mind about me; but I shall not allow you to +strike her!" he said, at last, quietly. Then, suddenly, he could +bear it no longer, and covering his face with his hands, turned +to the wall, and murmured in broken accents: + +"Oh! how ashamed you will be of this afterwards!" + +Gania certainly did look dreadfully abashed. Colia rushed up to +comfort the prince, and after him crowded Varia, Rogojin and all, +even the general. + +"It's nothing, it's nothing!" said the prince, and again he wore +the smile which was so inconsistent with the circumstances. + +"Yes, he will be ashamed!" cried Rogojin. "You will be properly +ashamed of yourself for having injured such a--such a sheep" (he +could not find a better word). "Prince, my dear fellow, leave +this and come away with me. I'll show you how Rogojin shows his +affection for his friends." + +Nastasia Philipovna was also much impressed, both with Gania's +action and with the prince's reply. + +Her usually thoughtful, pale face, which all this while had been +so little in harmony with the jests and laughter which she had +seemed to put on for the occasion, was now evidently agitated by +new feelings, though she tried to conceal the fact and to look as +though she were as ready as ever for jesting and irony. + +"I really think I must have seen him somewhere!" she murmured +seriously enough. + +"Oh, aren't you ashamed of yourself--aren't you ashamed? Are you +really the sort of woman you are trying to represent yourself to +be? Is it possible?" The prince was now addressing Nastasia, in a +tone of reproach, which evidently came from his very heart. + +Nastasia Philipovna looked surprised, and smiled, but evidently +concealed something beneath her smile and with some confusion and +a glance at Gania she left the room. + +However, she had not reached the outer hall when she turned +round, walked quickly up to Nina Alexandrovna, seized her hand +and lifted it to her lips. + +"He guessed quite right. I am not that sort of woman," she +whispered hurriedly, flushing red all over. Then she turned again +and left the room so quickly that no one could imagine what she +had come back for. All they saw was that she said something to +Nina Alexandrovna in a hurried whisper, and seemed to kiss her +hand. Varia, however, both saw and heard all, and watched +Nastasia out of the room with an expression of wonder. + +Gania recollected himself in time to rush after her in order to +show her out, but she had gone. He followed her to the stairs. + +"Don't come with me," she cried, "Au revoir, till the evening--do +you hear? Au revoir!" + +He returned thoughtful and confused; the riddle lay heavier than +ever on his soul. He was troubled about the prince, too, and so +bewildered that he did not even observe Rogojin's rowdy band +crowd past him and step on his toes, at the door as they went +out. They were all talking at once. Rogojin went ahead of the +others, talking to Ptitsin, and apparently insisting vehemently +upon something very important + +"You've lost the game, Gania" he cried, as he passed the latter. + +Gania gazed after him uneasily, but said nothing. + +XI. + +THE prince now left the room and shut himself up in his own +chamber. Colia followed him almost at once, anxious to do what he +could to console him. The poor boy seemed to be already so +attached to him that he could hardly leave him. + +"You were quite right to go away!" he said. "The row will rage +there worse than ever now; and it's like this every day with us-- +and all through that Nastasia Philipovna." + +"You have so many sources of trouble here, Colia," said the +prince. + +"Yes, indeed, and it is all our own fault. But I have a great +friend who is much worse off even than we are. Would you like to +know him?" + +"Yes, very much. Is he one of your school-fellows?" + +"Well, not exactly. I will tell you all about him some day. . . . +What do you think of Nastasia Philipovna? She is beautiful, isn't +she? I had never seen her before, though I had a great wish to do +so. She fascinated me. I could forgive Gania if he were to marry +her for love, but for money! Oh dear! that is horrible!" + +"Yes, your brother does not attract me much." + +"I am not surprised at that. After what you ... But I do hate +that way of looking at things! Because some fool, or a rogue +pretending to be a fool, strikes a man, that man is to be +dishonoured for his whole life, unless he wipes out the disgrace +with blood, or makes his assailant beg forgiveness on his knees! +I think that so very absurd and tyrannical. Lermontoff's Bal +Masque is based on that idea--a stupid and unnatural one, in my +opinion; but he was hardly more than a child when he wrote it." + +"I like your sister very much." + +"Did you see how she spat in Gania's face! Varia is afraid of no +one. But you did not follow her example, and yet I am sure it was +not through cowardice. Here she comes! Speak of a wolf and you +see his tail! I felt sure that she would come. She is very +generous, though of course she has her faults." + +Varia pounced upon her brother. + +"This is not the place for you," said she. "Go to father. Is he +plaguing you, prince?" + +"Not in the least; on the contrary, he interests me." + +"Scolding as usual, Varia! It is the worst thing about her. After +all, I believe father may have started off with Rogojin. No doubt +he is sorry now. Perhaps I had better go and see what he is +doing," added Colia, running off. + +"Thank God, I have got mother away, and put her to bed without +another scene! Gania is worried--and ashamed--not without reason! +What a spectacle! I have come to thank you once more, prince, and +to ask you if you knew Nastasia Philipovna before + +"No, I have never known her." + +"Then what did you mean, when you said straight out to her that +she was not really 'like that'? You guessed right, I fancy. It is +quite possible she was not herself at the moment, though I cannot +fathom her meaning. Evidently she meant to hurt and insult us. I +have heard curious tales about her before now, but if she came to +invite us to her house, why did she behave so to my mother? +Ptitsin knows her very well; he says he could not understand her +today. With Rogojin, too! No one with a spark of self-respect +could have talked like that in the house of her... Mother is +extremely vexed on your account, too... + +"That is nothing!" said the prince, waving his hand. + +"But how meek she was when you spoke to her!" + +"Meek! What do you mean?" + +"You told her it was a shame for her to behave so, and her manner +changed at once; she was like another person. You have some +influence over her, prince," added Varia, smiling a little. + +The door opened at this point, and in came Gania most +unexpectedly. + +He was not in the least disconcerted to see Varia there, but he +stood a moment at the door, and then approached the prince +quietly. + +"Prince," he said, with feeling, "I was a blackguard. Forgive +me!" His face gave evidence of suffering. The prince was +considerably amazed, and did not reply at once. "Oh, come, +forgive me, forgive me!" Gania insisted, rather impatiently. "If +you like, I'll kiss your hand. There!" + +The prince was touched; he took Gania's hands, and embraced him +heartily, while each kissed the other. + +"I never, never thought you were like that," said Muishkin, +drawing a deep breath. "I thought you--you weren't capable of--" + +"Of what? Apologizing, eh? And where on earth did I get the idea +that you were an idiot? You always observe what other people pass +by unnoticed; one could talk sense to you, but--" + +"Here is another to whom you should apologize," said the prince, +pointing to Varia. + +"No, no! they are all enemies! I've tried them often enough, +believe me," and Gania turned his back on Varia with these words. + +"But if I beg you to make it up?" said Varia. + +"And you'll go to Nastasia Philipovna's this evening--" + +"If you insist: but, judge for yourself, can I go, ought I to +go?" + +"But she is not that sort of woman, I tell you!" said Gania, +angrily. "She was only acting." + +"I know that--I know that; but what a part to play! And think +what she must take YOU for, Gania! I know she kissed mother's +hand, and all that, but she laughed at you, all the same. All +this is not good enough for seventy-five thousand roubles, my +dear boy. You are capable of honourable feelings still, and +that's why I am talking to you so. Oh! DO take care what you are +doing! Don't you know yourself that it will end badly, Gania?" + +So saying, and in a state of violent agitation, Varia left the +room. + +"There, they are all like that," said Gania, laughing, "just as +if I do not know all about it much better than they do." + +He sat down with these words, evidently intending to prolong his +visit. + +"If you know it so well," said the prince a little timidly, "why +do you choose all this worry for the sake of the seventy-five +thousand, which, you confess, does not cover it?" + +"I didn't mean that," said Gania; "but while we are upon the +subject, let me hear your opinion. Is all this worry worth +seventy-five thousand or not? + +"Certainly not." + +"Of course! And it would be a disgrace to marry so, eh?" + +"A great disgrace." + +"Oh, well, then you may know that I shall certainly do it, now. I +shall certainly marry her. I was not quite sure of myself before, +but now I am. Don't say a word: I know what you want to tell me--" + +"No. I was only going to say that what surprises me most of all +is your extraordinary confidence." + +"How so? What in?" + +"That Nastasia Philipovna will accept you, and that the question +is as good as settled; and secondly, that even if she did, you +would be able to pocket the money. Of course, I know very little +about it, but that's my view. When a man marries for money it +often happens that the wife keeps the money in her own hands." + +"Of course, you don't know all; but, I assure you, you needn't be +afraid, it won't be like that in our case. There are +circumstances," said Gania, rather excitedly. "And as to her +answer to me, there's no doubt about that. Why should you suppose +she will refuse me?" + +"Oh, I only judge by what I see. Varvara Ardalionovna said just +now--" + +"Oh she--they don't know anything about it! Nastasia was only +chaffing Rogojin. I was alarmed at first, but I have thought +better of it now; she was simply laughing at him. She looks on me +as a fool because I show that I meant her money, and doesn't +realize that there are other men who would deceive her in far +worse fashion. I'm not going to pretend anything, and you'll see +she'll marry me, all right. If she likes to live quietly, so she +shall; but if she gives me any of her nonsense, I shall leave her +at once, but I shall keep the money. I'm not going to look a +fool; that's the first thing, not to look a fool." + +"But Nastasia Philipovna seems to me to be such a SENSIBLE woman, +and, as such, why should she run blindly into this business? +That's what puzzles me so," said the prince. + +"You don't know all, you see; I tell you there are things--and +besides, I'm sure that she is persuaded that I love her to +distraction, and I give you my word I have a strong suspicion +that she loves me, too--in her own way, of course. She thinks she +will be able to make a sort of slave of me all my life; but I +shall prepare a little surprise for her. I don't know whether I +ought to be confidential with you, prince; but, I assure you, you +are the only decent fellow I have come across. I have not spoken +so sincerely as I am doing at this moment for years. There are +uncommonly few honest people about, prince; there isn't one +honester than Ptitsin, he's the best of the lot. Are you +laughing? You don't know, perhaps, that blackguards like honest +people, and being one myself I like you. WHY am I a blackguard? +Tell me honestly, now. They all call me a blackguard because of +her, and I have got into the way of thinking myself one. That's +what is so bad about the business." + +"I for one shall never think you a blackguard again," said the +prince. "I confess I had a poor opinion of you at first, but I +have been so joyfully surprised about you just now; it's a good +lesson for me. I shall never judge again without a thorough +trial. I see now that you are riot only not a blackguard, but are +not even quite spoiled. I see that you are quite an ordinary man, +not original in the least degree, but rather weak." + +Gania laughed sarcastically, but said nothing. The prince, seeing +that he did not quite like the last remark, blushed, and was +silent too. + +"Has my father asked you for money?" asked Gania, suddenly. + +"No." + +"Don't give it to him if he does. Fancy, he was a decent, +respectable man once! He was received in the best society; he was +not always the liar he is now. Of course, wine is at the bottom +of it all; but he is a good deal worse than an innocent liar now. +Do you know that he keeps a mistress? I can't understand how +mother is so long-sufferring. Did he tell you the story of the +siege of Kars? Or perhaps the one about his grey horse that +talked? He loves, to enlarge on these absurd histories." And +Gania burst into a fit of laughter. Suddenly he turned to the +prince and asked: "Why are you looking at me like that?" + +"I am surprised to see you laugh in that way, like a child. You +came to make friends with me again just now, and you said, 'I +will kiss your hand, if you like,' just as a child would have +said it. And then, all at once you are talking of this mad +project--of these seventy-five thousand roubles! It all seems so +absurd and impossible." + +"Well, what conclusion have you reached?" + +"That you are rushing madly into the undertaking, and that you +would do well to think it over again. It is more than possible +that Varvara Ardalionovna is right." + +"Ah! now you begin to moralize! I know that I am only a child, +very well," replied Gania impatiently. "That is proved by my +having this conversation with you. It is not for money only, +prince, that I am rushing into this affair," he continued, hardly +master of his words, so closely had his vanity been touched. "If +I reckoned on that I should certainly be deceived, for I am still +too weak in mind and character. I am obeying a passion, an +impulse perhaps, because I have but one aim, one that overmasters +all else. You imagine that once I am in possession of these +seventy-five thousand roubles, I shall rush to buy a carriage... +No, I shall go on wearing the old overcoat I have worn for +three years, and I shall give up my club. I shall follow the +example of men who have made their fortunes. When Ptitsin was +seventeen he slept in the street, he sold pen-knives, and began +with a copeck; now he has sixty thousand roubles, but to get +them, what has he not done? Well, I shall be spared such a hard +beginning, and shall start with a little capital. In fifteen +years people will say, 'Look, that's Ivolgin, the king of the +Jews!' You say that I have no originality. Now mark this, prince-- +there is nothing so offensive to a man of our time and race than +to be told that he is wanting in originality, that he is weak in +character, has no particular talent, and is, in short, an +ordinary person. You have not even done me the honour of looking +upon me as a rogue. Do you know, I could have knocked you down +for that just now! You wounded me more cruelly than Epanchin, +who thinks me capable of selling him my wife! Observe, it was a +perfectly gratuitous idea on his part, seeing there has never +been any discussion of it between us! This has exasperated me, +and I am determined to make a fortune! I will do it! Once I am +rich, I shall be a genius, an extremely original man. One of the +vilest and most hateful things connected with money is that it +can buy even talent; and will do so as long as the world lasts. +You will say that this is childish--or romantic. Well, that will +be all the better for me, but the thing shall be done. I will +carry it through. He laughs most, who laughs last. Why does +Epanchin insult me? Simply because, socially, I am a nobody. +However, enough for the present. Colia has put his nose in to +tell us dinner is ready, twice. I'm dining out. I shall come and +talk to you now and then; you shall be comfortable enough with +us. They are sure to make you one of the family. I think you and +I will either be great friends or enemies. Look here now, +supposing I had kissed your hand just now, as I offered to do in +all sincerity, should I have hated you for it afterwards?" + +"Certainly, but not always. You would not have been able to keep +it up, and would have ended by forgiving me," said the prince, +after a pause for reflection, and with a pleasant smile. + +"Oho, how careful one has to be with you, prince! Haven't you put +a drop of poison in that remark now, eh? By the way--ha, ha, ha!-- +I forgot to ask, was I right in believing that you were a good +deal struck yourself with Nastasia Philipovna + +"Ye-yes." + +"Are you in love with her?" + +"N-no." + +"And yet you flush up as red as a rosebud! Come--it's all right. +I'm not going to laugh at you. Do you know she is a very virtuous +woman? Believe it or not, as you like. You think she and Totski-- +not a bit of it, not a bit of it! Not for ever so long! Au +revoir!" + +Gania left the room in great good humour. The prince stayed +behind, and meditated alone for a few minutes. At length, Colia +popped his head in once more. + +"I don't want any dinner, thanks, Colia. I had too good a lunch +at General Epanchin's." + +Colia came into the room and gave the prince a note; it was from +the general and was carefully sealed up. It was clear from +Colia's face how painful it was to him to deliver the missive. +The prince read it, rose, and took his hat. + +"It's only a couple of yards," said Colia, blushing. + +"He's sitting there over his bottle--and how they can give him +credit, I cannot understand. Don't tell mother I brought you the +note, prince; I have sworn not to do it a thousand times, but I'm +always so sorry for him. Don't stand on ceremony, give him some +trifle, and let that end it." + +"Come along, Colia, I want to see your father. I have an idea," +said the prince. + +XII. + +Colia took the prince to a public-house in the Litaynaya, not far +off. In one of the side rooms there sat at a table--looking like +one of the regular guests of the establishment--Ardalion +Alexandrovitch, with a bottle before him, and a newspaper on his +knee. He was waiting for the prince, and no sooner did the latter +appear than he began a long harangue about something or other; +but so far gone was he that the prince could hardly understand a +word. + +"I have not got a ten-rouble note," said the prince; "but here is +a twenty-five. Change it and give me back the fifteen, or I shall +be left without a farthing myself." + +"Oh, of course, of course; and you quite understand that I--" + +"Yes; and I have another request to make, general. Have you ever +been at Nastasia Philipovna's?" + +"I? I? Do you mean me? Often, my friend, often! I only pretended +I had not in order to avoid a painful subject. You saw today, +you were a witness, that I did all that a kind, an indulgent +father could do. Now a father of altogether another type shall +step into the scene. You shall see; the old soldier shall lay +bare this intrigue, or a shameless woman will force her way into +a respectable and noble family." + +"Yes, quite so. I wished to ask you whether you could show me the +way to Nastasia Philipovna's tonight. I must go; I have business +with her; I was not invited but I was introduced. Anyhow I am +ready to trespass the laws of propriety if only I can get in +somehow or other." + +"My dear young friend, you have hit on my very idea. It was not +for this rubbish I asked you to come over here" (he pocketed the +money, however, at this point), "it was to invite your alliance +in the campaign against Nastasia Philipovna tonight. How well it +sounds, 'General Ivolgin and Prince Muishkin.' That'll fetch her, +I think, eh? Capital! We'll go at nine; there's time yet." + +"Where does she live?" + +"Oh, a long way off, near the Great Theatre, just in the square +there--It won't be a large party." + +The general sat on and on. He had ordered a fresh bottle when the +prince arrived; this took him an hour to drink, and then he had +another, and another, during the consumption of which he told +pretty nearly the whole story of his life. The prince was in +despair. He felt that though he had but applied to this miserable +old drunkard because he saw no other way of getting to Nastasia +Philipovna's, yet he had been very wrong to put the slightest +confidence in such a man. + +At last he rose and declared that he would wait no longer. The +general rose too, drank the last drops that he could squeeze out +of the bottle, and staggered into the street. + +Muishkin began to despair. He could not imagine how he had been +so foolish as to trust this man. He only wanted one thing, and +that was to get to Nastasia Philipovna's, even at the cost of a +certain amount of impropriety. But now the scandal threatened to +be more than he had bargained for. By this time Ardalion +Alexandrovitch was quite intoxicated, and he kept his companion +listening while he discoursed eloquently and pathetically on +subjects of all kinds, interspersed with torrents of +recrimination against the members of his family. He insisted that +all his troubles were caused by their bad conduct, and time alone +would put an end to them. + +At last they reached the Litaynaya. The thaw increased steadily, +a warm, unhealthy wind blew through the streets, vehicles +splashed through the mud, and the iron shoes of horses and mules +rang on the paving stones. Crowds of melancholy people plodded +wearily along the footpaths, with here and there a drunken man +among them. + +"Do you see those brightly-lighted windows?" said the general. +"Many of my old comrades-in-arms live about here, and I, who +served longer, and suffered more than any of them, am walking on +foot to the house of a woman of rather questionable reputation! +A man, look you, who has thirteen bullets on his breast! ... You +don't believe it? Well, I can assure you it was entirely on my +account that Pirogoff telegraphed to Paris, and left Sebastopol +at the greatest risk during the siege. Nelaton, the Tuileries +surgeon, demanded a safe conduct, in the name of science, into +the besieged city in order to attend my wounds. The government +knows all about it. 'That's the Ivolgin with thirteen bullets in +him!' That's how they speak of me.... Do you see that house, +prince? One of my old friends lives on the first floor, with his +large family. In this and five other houses, three overlooking +Nevsky, two in the Morskaya, are all that remain of my personal +friends. Nina Alexandrovna gave them up long ago, but I keep in +touch with them still... I may say I find refreshment in this +little coterie, in thus meeting my old acquaintances and +subordinates, who worship me still, in spite of all. General +Sokolovitch (by the way, I have not called on him lately, or seen +Anna Fedorovna)... You know, my dear prince, when a person does +not receive company himself, he gives up going to other people's +houses involuntarily. And yet ... well ... you look as if you +didn't believe me.... Well now, why should I not present the son +of my old friend and companion to this delightful family--General +Ivolgin and Prince Muishkin? You will see a lovely girl--what am +I saying--a lovely girl? No, indeed, two, three! Ornaments of +this city and of society: beauty, education, culture--the woman +question--poetry--everything! Added to which is the fact that +each one will have a dot of at least eighty thousand roubles. No +bad thing, eh? ... In a word I absolutely must introduce you to +them: it is a duty, an obligation. General Ivolgin and Prince +Muishkin. Tableau!" + +"At once? Now? You must have forgotten ... " began the prince. + +"No, I have forgotten nothing. Come! This is the house--up this +magnificent staircase. I am surprised not to see the porter, but +.... it is a holiday ... and the man has gone off ... Drunken +fool! Why have they not got rid of him? Sokolovitch owes all the +happiness he has had in the service and in his private life to +me, and me alone, but ... here we are." + +The prince followed quietly, making no further objection for fear +of irritating the old man. At the same time he fervently hoped +that General Sokolovitch and his family would fade away like a +mirage in the desert, so that the visitors could escape, by +merely returning downstairs. But to his horror he saw that +General Ivolgin was quite familiar with the house, and really +seemed to have friends there. At every step he named some +topographical or biographical detail that left nothing to be +desired on the score of accuracy. When they arrived at last, on +the first floor, and the general turned to ring the bell to the +right, the prince decided to run away, but a curious incident +stopped him momentarily. + +"You have made a mistake, general," said he. " The name on the +door is Koulakoff, and you were going to see General +Sokolovitch." + +"Koulakoff ... Koulakoff means nothing. This is Sokolovitch's +flat, and I am ringing at his door.... What do I care for +Koulakoff? ... Here comes someone to open." + +In fact, the door opened directly, and the footman in formed the +visitors that the family were all away. + +"What a pity! What a pity! It's just my luck!" repeated Ardalion +Alexandrovitch over and over again, in regretful tones. " When +your master and mistress return, my man, tell them that General +Ivolgin and Prince Muishkin desired to present themselves, and +that they were extremely sorry, excessively grieved ..." + +Just then another person belonging to the household was seen at +the back of the hall. It was a woman of some forty years, dressed +in sombre colours, probably a housekeeper or a governess. Hearing +the names she came forward with a look of suspicion on her face. + +"Marie Alexandrovna is not at home," said she, staring hard at +the general. "She has gone to her mother's, with Alexandra +Michailovna." + +"Alexandra Michailovna out, too! How disappointing! Would you +believe it, I am always so unfortunate! May I most respectfully +ask you to present my compliments to Alexandra Michailovna, and +remind her ... tell her, that with my whole heart I wish for +her what she wished for herself on Thursday evening, while she +was listening to Chopin's Ballade. She will remember. I wish it +with all sincerity. General Ivolgin and Prince Muishkin!" + +The woman's face changed; she lost her suspicious expression. + +"I will not fail to deliver your message," she replied, and bowed +them out. + +As they went downstairs the general regretted repeatedly that he +had failed to introduce the prince to his friends. + +"You know I am a bit of a poet," said he. "Have you noticed it? +The poetic soul, you know." Then he added suddenly--"But after +all ... after all I believe we made a mistake this time! I +remember that the Sokolovitch's live in another house, and what +is more, they are just now in Moscow. Yes, I certainly was at +fault. However, it is of no consequence." + +"Just tell me," said the prince in reply, "may I count still on +your assistance? Or shall I go on alone to see Nastasia +Philipovna?" + +"Count on my assistance? Go alone? How can you ask me that +question, when it is a matter on which the fate of my family so +largely depends? You don't know Ivolgin, my friend. To trust +Ivolgin is to trust a rock; that's how the first squadron I +commanded spoke of me. 'Depend upon Ivolgin,' said they all, 'he +is as steady as a rock.' But, excuse me, I must just call at a +house on our way, a house where I have found consolation and help +in all my trials for years." + +"You are going home?" + +"No ... I wish ... to visit Madame Terentieff, the widow of +Captain Terentieff, my old subordinate and friend. She helps me +to keep up my courage, and to bear the trials of my domestic +life, and as I have an extra burden on my mind today ..." + +"It seems to me," interrupted the prince, "that I was foolish to +trouble you just now. However, at present you ... Good-bye!" + +"Indeed, you must not go away like that, young man, you must +not!" cried the general. "My friend here is a widow, the mother +of a family; her words come straight from her heart, and find an +echo in mine. A visit to her is merely an affair of a few +minutes; I am quite at home in her house. I will have a wash, and +dress, and then we can drive to the Grand Theatre. Make up your +mind to spend the evening with me.... We are just there--that's +the house... Why, Colia! you here! Well, is Marfa Borisovna +at home or have you only just come?" + +"Oh no! I have been here a long while," replied Colia, who was at +the front door when the general met him. "I am keeping Hippolyte +company. He is worse, and has been in bed all day. I came down to +buy some cards. Marfa Borisovna expects you. But what a state you +are in, father!" added the boy, noticing his father's unsteady +gait. "Well, let us go in." + +On meeting Colia the prince determined to accompany the general, +though he made up his mind to stay as short a time as possible. +He wanted Colia, but firmly resolved to leave the general behind. +He could not forgive himself for being so simple as to imagine +that Ivolgin would be of any use. The three climbed up the long +staircase until they reached the fourth floor where Madame +Terentieff lived. + +"You intend to introduce the prince?" asked Colia, as they went +up. + +"Yes, my boy. I wish to present him: General Ivolgin and Prince +Muishkin! But what's the matter? ... what? ... How is Marfa +Borisovna?" + +"You know, father, you would have done much better not to come +at all! She is ready to eat you up! You have not shown yourself +since the day before yesterday and she is expecting the money. +Why did you promise her any? You are always the same! Well, now +you will have to get out of it as best you can." + +They stopped before a somewhat low doorway on the fourth floor. +Ardalion Alexandrovitch, evidently much out of countenance, +pushed Muishkin in front. + +"I will wait here," he stammered. "I should like to surprise her. +...." + +Colia entered first, and as the door stood open, the mistress of +the house peeped out. The surprise of the general's imagination +fell very flat, for she at once began to address him in terms of +reproach. + +Marfa Borisovna was about forty years of age. She wore a +dressing-jacket, her feet were in slippers, her face painted, and +her hair was in dozens of small plaits. No sooner did she catch +sight of Ardalion Alexandrovitch than she screamed: + +"There he is, that wicked, mean wretch! I knew it was he! My +heart misgave me!" + +The old man tried to put a good face on the affair. + +"Come, let us go in--it's all right," he whispered in the +prince's ear. + +But it was more serious than he wished to think. As soon as the +visitors had crossed the low dark hall, and entered the narrow +reception-room, furnished with half a dozen cane chairs, and two +small card-tables, Madame Terentieff, in the shrill tones +habitual to her, continued her stream of invectives. + +"Are you not ashamed? Are you not ashamed? You barbarian! You +tyrant! You have robbed me of all I possessed--you have sucked my +bones to the marrow. How long shall I be your victim? Shameless, +dishonourable man!" + +"Marfa Borisovna! Marfa Borisovna! Here is ... the Prince +Muishkin! General Ivolgin and Prince Muishkin," stammered the +disconcerted old man. + +"Would you believe," said the mistress of the house, suddenly +addressing the prince, "would you believe that that man has not +even spared my orphan children? He has stolen everything I +possessed, sold everything, pawned everything; he has left me +nothing--nothing! What am I to do with your IOU's, you cunning, +unscrupulous rogue? Answer, devourer I answer, heart of stone! +How shall I feed my orphans? with what shall I nourish them? And +now he has come, he is drunk! He can scarcely stand. How, oh how, +have I offended the Almighty, that He should bring this curse +upon me! Answer, you worthless villain, answer!" + +But this was too much for the general. + +"Here are twenty-five roubles, Marfa Borisovna ... it is all +that I can give ... and I owe even these to the prince's +generosity--my noble friend. I have been cruelly deceived. Such +is ... life ... Now ... Excuse me, I am very weak," he +continued, standing in the centre of the room, and bowing to all +sides. "I am faint; excuse me! Lenotchka ... a cushion ... my +dear!" + +Lenotchka, a little girl of eight, ran to fetch the cushion at +once, and placed it on the rickety old sofa. The general meant to +have said much more, but as soon as he had stretched himself out, +he turned his face to the wall, and slept the sleep of the just. + +With a grave and ceremonious air, Marfa Borisovna motioned the +prince to a chair at one of the card-tables. She seated herself +opposite, leaned her right cheek on her hand, and sat in silence, +her eyes fixed on Muishkin, now and again sighing deeply. The +three children, two little girls and a boy, Lenotchka being the +eldest, came and leant on the table and also stared steadily at +him. Presently Colia appeared from the adjoining room. + +"I am very glad indeed to have met you here, Colia," said the +prince. "Can you do something for me? I must see Nastasia +Philipovna, and I asked Ardalion Alexandrovitch just now to take +me to her house, but he has gone to sleep, as you see. Will you +show me the way, for I do not know the street? I have the +address, though; it is close to the Grand Theatre." + +"Nastasia Philipovna? She does not live there, and to tell you +the truth my father has never been to her house! It is strange +that you should have depended on him! She lives near Wladimir +Street, at the Five Corners, and it is quite close by. Will you +go directly? It is just half-past nine. I will show you the way +with pleasure." + +Colia and the prince went off together. Alas! the latter had no +money to pay for a cab, so they were obliged to walk. + +"I should have liked to have taken you to see Hippolyte," said +Colia. "He is the eldest son of the lady you met just now, and +was in the next room. He is ill, and has been in bed all day. But +he is rather strange, and extremely sensitive, and I thought he +might be upset considering the circumstances in which you +came ... Somehow it touches me less, as it concerns my father, +while it is HIS mother. That, of course, makes a great +difference. What is a terrible disgrace to a woman, does not +disgrace a man, at least not in the same way. Perhaps public +opinion is wrong in condemning one sex, and excusing the other. +Hippolyte is an extremely clever boy, but so prejudiced. He is +really a slave to his opinions." + +"Do you say he is consumptive?" + +"Yes. It really would be happier for him to die young. If I were +in his place I should certainly long for death. He is unhappy +about his brother and sisters, the children you saw. If it were +possible, if we only had a little money, we should leave our +respective families, and live together in a little apartment of +our own. It is our dream. But, do you know, when I was talking +over your affair with him, he was angry, and said that anyone who +did not call out a man who had given him a blow was a coward. He +is very irritable to-day, and I left off arguing the matter with +him. So Nastasia Philipovna has invited you to go and see her?" + +"To tell the truth, she has not." + +"Then how do you come to be going there?" cried Colia, so much +astonished that he stopped short in the middle of the pavement. +"And ... and are you going to her At Home in that costume?" + +"I don't know, really, whether I shall be allowed in at all. If +she will receive me, so much the better. If not, the matter is +ended. As to my clothes--what can I do?" + +"Are you going there for some particular reason, or only as a way +of getting into her society, and that of her friends?" + +"No, I have really an object in going ... That is, I am going +on business it is difficult to explain, but..." + +"Well, whether you go on business or not is your affair, +I do not want to know. The only important thing, in my eyes, is +that you should not be going there simply for the pleasure of +spending your evening in such company--cocottes, generals, +usurers! If that were the case I should despise and laugh at you. +There are terribly few honest people here, and hardly any whom +one can respect, although people put on airs--Varia especially! +Have you noticed, prince, how many adventurers there are +nowadays? Especially here, in our dear Russia. How it has +happened I never can understand. There used to be a certain +amount of solidity in all things, but now what happens? +Everything is exposed to the public gaze, veils are thrown back, +every wound is probed by careless fingers. We are for ever +present at an orgy of scandalous revelations. Parents blush when +they remember their old-fashioned morality. At Moscow lately a +father was heard urging his son to stop at nothing--at nothing, +mind you!--to get money! The press seized upon the story, of +course, and now it is public property. Look at my father, the +general! See what he is, and yet, I assure you, he is an honest +man! Only ... he drinks too much, and his morals are not all we +could desire. Yes, that's true! I pity him, to tell the truth, +but I dare not say so, because everybody would laugh at me--but I +do pity him! And who are the really clever men, after all? Money- +grubbers, every one of them, from the first to the last. +Hippolyte finds excuses for money-lending, and says it is a +necessity. He talks about the economic movement, and the ebb and +flow of capital; the devil knows what he means. It makes me angry +to hear him talk so, but he is soured by his troubles. Just +imagine-the general keeps his mother-but she lends him money! She +lends it for a week or ten days at very high interest! Isn't it +disgusting? And then, you would hardly believe it, but my mother-- +Nina Alexandrovna--helps Hippolyte in all sorts of ways, sends +him money and clothes. She even goes as far as helping the +children, through Hippolyte, because their mother cares nothing +about them, and Varia does the same." + +"Well, just now you said there were no honest nor good people +about, that there were only money-grubbers--and here they are +quite close at hand, these honest and good people, your mother +and Varia! I think there is a good deal of moral strength in +helping people in suchcircum stances." + +"Varia does it from pride, and likes showing off, and giving +herself airs. As to my mother, I really do admire her--yes, and +honour her. Hippolyte, hardened as he is, feels it. He laughed at +first, and thought it vulgar of her--but now, he is sometimes +quite touched and overcome by her kindness. H'm! You call that +being strong and good? I will remember that! Gania knows nothing +about it. He would say that it was encouraging vice." + +"Ah, Gania knows nothing about it? It seems there are many things +that Gania does not know," exclaimed the prince, as he considered +Colia's last words. + +"Do you know, I like you very much indeed, prince? I shall never +forget about this afternoon." + +"I like you too, Colia." + +"Listen to me! You are going to live here, are you not?" said +Colia. "I mean to get something to do directly, and earn money. +Then shall we three live together? You, and I, and Hippolyte? We +will hire a flat, and let the general come and visit us. What do +you say?" + +"It would be very pleasant," returned the prince. "But we must see. +I am really rather worried just now. What! are we there already? +Is that the house? What a long flight of steps! And there's a +porter! Well, Colia I don't know what will come of it all." + +The prince seemed quite distracted for the moment. + +"You must tell me all about it tomorrow! Don't be afraid. I wish +you success; we agree so entirely I that can do so, although I do +not understand why you are here. Good-bye!" cried Colia excitedly. +"Now I will rush back and tell Hippolyte all about our plans and +proposals! But as to your getting in--don't be in the least +afraid. You will see her. She is so original about everything. It's +the first floor. The porter will show you." + +XIII. + +THE prince was very nervous as he reached the outer door; but he +did his best to encourage himself with the reflection that the +worst thing that could happen to him would be that he would not +be received, or, perhaps, received, then laughed at for coming. + +But there was another question, which terrified him considerably, +and that was: what was he going to do when he DID get in? And to +this question he could fashion no satisfactory reply. + +If only he could find an opportunity of coming close up to +Nastasia Philipovna and saying to her: "Don't ruin yourself by +marrying this man. He does not love you, he only loves your +money. He told me so himself, and so did Aglaya Ivanovna, and I +have come on purpose to warn you"--but even that did not seem +quite a legitimate or practicable thing to do. Then, again, there +was another delicate question, to which he could not find an +answer; dared not, in fact, think of it; but at the very idea of +which he trembled and blushed. However, in spite of all his fears +and heart-quakings he went in, and asked for Nastasia Philipovna. + +Nastasia occupied a medium-sized, but distinctly tasteful, flat, +beautifully furnished and arranged. At one period of these five +years of Petersburg life, Totski had certainly not spared his +expenditure upon her. He had calculated upon her eventual love, +and tried to tempt her with a lavish outlay upon comforts and +luxuries, knowing too well how easily the heart accustoms itself +to comforts, and how difficult it is to tear one's self away from +luxuries which have become habitual and, little by little, +indispensable. + +Nastasia did not reject all this, she even loved her comforts and +luxuries, but, strangely enough, never became, in the least +degree, dependent upon them, and always gave the impression that +she could do just as well without them. In fact, she went so far +as to inform Totski on several occasions that such was the case, +which the latter gentleman considered a very unpleasant +communication indeed. + +But, of late, Totski had observed many strange and original +features and characteristics in Nastasia, which he had neither +known nor reckoned upon in former times, and some of these +fascinated him, even now, in spite of the fact that all his old +calculations with regard to her were long ago cast to the winds. + +A maid opened the door for the prince (Nastasia's servants were +all females) and, to his surprise, received his request to +announce him to her mistress without any astonishment. Neither +his dirty boots, nor his wide-brimmed hat, nor his sleeveless +cloak, nor his evident confusion of manner, produced the least +impression upon her. She helped him off with his cloak, and +begged him to wait a moment in the ante-room while she announced +him. + +The company assembled at Nastasia Philipovna's consisted of none +but her most intimate friends, and formed a very small party in +comparison with her usual gatherings on this anniversary. + +In the first place there were present Totski, and General +Epanchin. They were both highly amiable, but both appeared to be +labouring under a half-hidden feeling of anxiety as to the result +of Nastasia's deliberations with regard to Gania, which result +was to be made public this evening. + +Then, of course, there was Gania who was by no means so amiable +as his elders, but stood apart, gloomy, and miserable, and +silent. He had determined not to bring Varia with him; but +Nastasia had not even asked after her, though no sooner had he +arrived than she had reminded him of the episode between himself +and the prince. The general, who had heard nothing of it before, +began to listen with some interest, while Gania, drily, but with +perfect candour, went through the whole history, including the +fact of his apology to the prince. He finished by declaring that +the prince was a most extraordinary man, and goodness knows why +he had been considered an idiot hitherto, for he was very far +from being one. + +Nastasia listened to all this with great interest; but the +conversation soon turned to Rogojin and his visit, and this theme +proved of the greatest attraction to both Totski and the general. + +Ptitsin was able to afford some particulars as to Rogojin's +conduct since the afternoon. He declared that he had been busy +finding money for the latter ever since, and up to nine o'clock, +Rogojin having declared that he must absolutely have a hundred +thousand roubles by the evening. He added that Rogojin was drunk, +of course; but that he thought the money would be forthcoming, +for the excited and intoxicated rapture of the fellow impelled +him to give any interest or premium that was asked of him, and +there were several others engaged in beating up the money, also. + +All this news was received by the company with somewhat gloomy +interest. Nastasia was silent, and would not say what she thought +about it. Gania was equally uncommunicative. The general seemed +the most anxious of all, and decidedly uneasy. The present of +pearls which he had prepared with so much joy in the morning had +been accepted but coldly, and Nastasia had smiled rather +disagreeably as she took it from him. Ferdishenko was the only +person present in good spirits. + +Totski himself, who had the reputation of being a capital talker, +and was usually the life and soul of these entertainments, was as +silent as any on this occasion, and sat in a state of, for him, +most uncommon perturbation. + +The rest of the guests (an old tutor or schoolmaster, goodness +knows why invited; a young man, very timid, and shy and silent; a +rather loud woman of about forty, apparently an actress; and a +very pretty, well-dressed German lady who hardly said a word all +the evening) not only had no gift for enlivening the proceedings, +but hardly knew what to say for themselves when addressed. Under +these circumstances the arrival of the prince came almost as a +godsend. + +The announcement of his name gave rise to some surprise and to +some smiles, especially when it became evident, from Nastasia's +astonished look, that she had not thought of inviting him. But +her astonishment once over, Nastasia showed such satisfaction +that all prepared to greet the prince with cordial smiles of +welcome. + +"Of course," remarked General Epanchin, "he does this out of pure +innocence. It's a little dangerous, perhaps, to encourage this +sort of freedom; but it is rather a good thing that he has +arrived just at this moment. He may enliven us a little with his +originalities." + +"Especially as he asked himself," said Ferdishenko. + +"What's that got to do with it?" asked the general, who loathed +Ferdishenko. + +"Why, he must pay toll for his entrance," explained the latter. + +"H'm! Prince Muishkin is not Ferdishenko," said the general, +impatiently. This worthy gentleman could never quite reconcile +himself to the idea of meeting Ferdishenko in society, and on an +equal footing. + +"Oh general, spare Ferdishenko!" replied the other, smiling. "I +have special privileges." + +"What do you mean by special privileges?" + +"Once before I had the honour of stating them to the company. I +will repeat the explanation to-day for your excellency's benefit. +You see, excellency, all the world is witty and clever except +myself. I am neither. As a kind of compensation I am allowed to +tell the truth, for it is a well-known fact that only stupid +people tell 'the truth. Added to this, I am a spiteful man, just +because I am not clever. If I am offended or injured I bear it +quite patiently until the man injuring me meets with some +misfortune. Then I remember, and take my revenge. I return the +injury sevenfold, as Ivan Petrovitch Ptitsin says. (Of course he +never does so himself.) Excellency, no doubt you recollect +Kryloff's fable, 'The Lion and the Ass'? Well now, that's you and +I. That fable was written precisely for us." + +"You seem to be talking nonsense again, Ferdishenko," growled the +general. + +"What is the matter, excellency? I know how to keep my place. +When I said just now that we, you and I, were the lion and the +ass of Kryloff's fable, of course it is understood that I take +the role of the ass. Your excellency is the lion of which the +fable remarks: + +'A mighty lion, terror of the woods, +Was shorn of his great prowess by old age.' + +And I, your excellency, am the ass." + +"I am of your opinion on that last point," said Ivan Fedorovitch, +with ill-concealed irritation. + +All this was no doubt extremely coarse, and moreover it was +premeditated, but after all Ferdishenko had persuaded everyone to +accept him as a buffoon. + +"If I am admitted and tolerated here," he had said one day, "it +is simply because I talk in this way. How can anyone possibly +receive such a man as I am? I quite understand. Now, could I, a +Ferdishenko, be allowed to sit shoulder to shoulder with a clever +man like Afanasy Ivanovitch? There is one explanation, only one. +I am given the position because it is so entirely inconceivable!" + +But these vulgarities seemed to please Nastasia Philipovna, +although too often they were both rude and offensive. Those who +wished to go to her house were forced to put up with Ferdishenko. +Possibly the latter was not mistaken in imagining that he was +received simply in order to annoy Totski, who disliked him +extremely. Gania also was often made the butt of the jester's +sarcasms, who used this method of keeping in Nastasia +Philipovna's good graces. + +"The prince will begin by singing us a fashionable ditty," +remarked Ferdishenko, and looked at the mistress of the house, to +see what she would say. + +"I don't think so, Ferdishenko; please be quiet," answered +Nastasia Philipovna dryly. + +"A-ah! if he is to be under special patronage, I withdraw my +claws." + +But Nastasia Philipovna had now risen and advanced to meet the +prince. + +"I was so sorry to have forgotten to ask you to come, when I saw +you," she said, "and I am delighted to be able to thank you +personally now, and to express my pleasure at your resolution." + +So saying she gazed into his eyes, longing to see whether she +could make any guess as to the explanation of his motive in +coming to her house. The prince would very likely have made some +reply to her kind words, but he was so dazzled by her appearance +that he could not speak. + +Nastasia noticed this with satisfaction. She was in full dress +this evening; and her appearance was certainly calculated to +impress all beholders. She took his hand and led him towards her +other guests. But just before they reached the drawing-room door, +the prince stopped her, and hurriedly and in great agitation +whispered to her: + +"You are altogether perfection; even your pallor and thinness are +perfect; one could not wish you otherwise. I did so wish to come +and see you. I--forgive me, please--" + +"Don't apologize," said Nastasia, laughing; "you spoil the whole +originality of the thing. I think what they say about you must be +true, that you are so original.--So you think me perfection, do +you?" + +"Yes." + +"H'm! Well, you may be a good reader of riddles but you are wrong +THERE, at all events. I'll remind you of this, tonight." + +Nastasia introduced the prince to her guests, to most of whom he +was already known. + +Totski immediately made some amiable remark. Al seemed to +brighten up at once, and the conversation became general. +Nastasia made the prince sit down next to herself. + +"Dear me, there's nothing so very curious about the prince +dropping in, after all," remarked Ferdishenko. + +"It's quite a clear case," said the hitherto silent Gania. I have +watched the prince almost all day, ever since the moment when he +first saw Nastasia Philipovna's portrait, at General Epanchin's. +I remember thinking at the time what I am now pretty sure of; and +what, I may say in passing, the prince confessed to myself." + +Gania said all this perfectly seriously, and without the +slightest appearance of joking; indeed, he seemed strangely +gloomy. + +"I did not confess anything to you," said the prince, blushing. +"I only answered your question." + +"Bravo! That's frank, at any rate!" shouted Ferdishenko, and +there was general laughter. + +"Oh prince, prince! I never should have thought it of you;" said +General Epanchin. "And I imagined you a philosopher! Oh, you +silent fellows!" + +"Judging from the fact that the prince blushed at this innocent +joke, like a young girl, I should think that he must, as an +honourable man, harbour the noblest intentions," said the old +toothless schoolmaster, most unexpectedly; he had not so much as +opened his mouth before. This remark provoked general mirth, and +the old fellow himself laughed loudest of the lot, but ended with +a stupendous fit of coughing. + +Nastasia Philipovna, who loved originality and drollery of all +kinds, was apparently very fond of this old man, and rang the +bell for more tea to stop his coughing. It was now half-past ten +o'clock. + +"Gentlemen, wouldn't you like a little champagne now?" she asked. +"I have it all ready; it will cheer us up--do now--no ceremony!" + +This invitation to drink, couched, as it was, in such informal +terms, came very strangely from Nastasia Philipovna. Her usual +entertainments were not quite like this; there was more style +about them. However, the wine was not refused; each guest took a +glass excepting Gania, who drank nothing. + +It was extremely difficult to account for Nastasia's strange +condition of mind, which became more evident each moment, and +which none could avoid noticing. + +She took her glass, and vowed she would empty it three times that +evening. She was hysterical, and laughed aloud every other minute +with no apparent reason--the next moment relapsing into gloom and +thoughtfulness. + +Some of her guests suspected that she must be ill; but concluded +at last that she was expecting something, for she continued to +look at her watch impatiently and unceasingly; she was most +absent and strange. + +"You seem to be a little feverish tonight," said the actress. + +"Yes; I feel quite ill. I have been obliged to put on this shawl +--I feel so cold," replied Nastasia. She certainly had grown very +pale, and every now and then she tried to suppress a trembling in +her limbs. + +"Had we not better allow our hostess to retire?" asked Totski of +the general. + +"Not at all, gentlemen, not at all! Your presence is absolutely +necessary to me tonight," said Nastasia, significantly. + +As most of those present were aware that this evening a certain +very important decision was to be taken, these words of Nastasia +Philipovna's appeared to be fraught with much hidden interest. +The general and Totski exchanged looks; Gania fidgeted +convulsively in his chair. + +"Let's play at some game!" suggested the actress. + +"I know a new and most delightful game, added Ferdishenko. + +"What is it?" asked the actress. + +"Well, when we tried it we were a party of people, like this, for +instance; and somebody proposed that each of us, without leaving +his place at the table, should relate something about himself. It +had to be something that he really and honestly considered the +very worst action he had ever committed in his life. But he was +to be honest--that was the chief point! He wasn't to be allowed +to lie." + +"What an extraordinary idea!" said the general. + +"That's the beauty of it, general!" + +"It's a funny notion," said Totski, "and yet quite natural--it's +only a new way of boasting." + +"Perhaps that is just what was so fascinating about it." + +"Why, it would be a game to cry over--not to laugh at!" said the +actress. + +"Did it succeed?" asked Nastasia Philipovna. "Come, let's try it, +let's try it; we really are not quite so jolly as we might be-- +let's try it! We may like it; it's original, at all events!" + +"Yes," said Ferdishenko; "it's a good idea--come along--the men +begin. Of course no one need tell a story if he prefers to be +disobliging. We must draw lots! Throw your slips of paper, +gentlemen, into this hat, and the prince shall draw for turns. +It's a very simple game; all you have to do is to tell the story +of the worst action of your life. It's as simple as anything. +I'll prompt anyone who forgets the rules!" + +No one liked the idea much. Some smiled, some frowned some +objected, but faintly, not wishing to oppose Nastasia's wishes; +for this new idea seemed to be rather well received by her. She +was still in an excited, hysterical state, laughing convulsively +at nothing and everything. Her eyes were blazing, and her cheeks +showed two bright red spots against the white. The melancholy +appearance of some of her guests seemed to add to her sarcastic +humour, and perhaps the very cynicism and cruelty of the game +proposed by Ferdishenko pleased her. At all events she was +attracted by the idea, and gradually her guests came round to her +side; the thing was original, at least, and might turn out to be +amusing. "And supposing it's something that one--one can't speak +about before ladies?" asked the timid and silent young man. + +"Why, then of course, you won't say anything about it. As if +there are not plenty of sins to your score without the need of +those!" said Ferdishenko. + +"But I really don't know which of my actions is the worst," said +the lively actress. + +"Ladies are exempted if they like." + +"And how are you to know that one isn't lying? And if one lies +the whole point of the game is lost," said Gania. + +"Oh, but think how delightful to hear how one's friends lie! +Besides you needn't be afraid, Gania; everybody knows what your +worst action is without the need of any lying on your part. Only +think, gentlemen,"--and Ferdishenko here grew quite enthusiastic, +"only think with what eyes we shall observe one another tomorrow, +after our tales have been told!" + +"But surely this is a joke, Nastasia Philipovna?" asked Totski. +"You don't really mean us to play this game." + +"Whoever is afraid of wolves had better not go into the wood," +said Nastasia, smiling. + +"But, pardon me, Mr. Ferdishenko, is it possible to make a game +out of this kind of thing?" persisted Totski, growing more and +more uneasy. "I assure you it can't be a success." + +"And why not? Why, the last time I simply told straight off about +how I stole three roubles." + +"Perhaps so; but it is hardly possible that you told it so that +it seemed like truth, or so that you were believed. And, as +Gavrila Ardalionovitch has said, the least suggestion of a +falsehood takes all point out of the game. It seems to me that +sincerity, on the other hand, is only possible if combined with a +kind of bad taste that would be utterly out of place here." + +"How subtle you are, Afanasy Ivanovitch! You astonish me," cried +Ferdishenko. "You will remark, gentleman, that in saying that I +could not recount the story of my theft so as to be believed, +Afanasy Ivanovitch has very ingeniously implied that I am not +capable of thieving--(it would have been bad taste to say so +openly); and all the time he is probably firmly convinced, in his +own mind, that I am very well capable of it! But now, gentlemen, +to business! Put in your slips, ladies and gentlemen--is yours in, +Mr. Totski? So--then we are all ready; now prince, draw, please." +The prince silently put his hand into the hat, and drew the +names. Ferdishenko was first, then Ptitsin, then the general, +Totski next, his own fifth, then Gania, and so on; the ladies did +not draw. + +"Oh, dear! oh, dear!" cried Ferdishenko. "I did so hope the +prince would come out first, and then the general. Well, +gentlemen, I suppose I must set a good example! What vexes me +much is that I am such an insignificant creature that it matters +nothing to anybody whether I have done bad actions or not! +Besides, which am I to choose? It's an embarras de richesse. +Shall I tell how I became a thief on one occasion only, to +convince Afanasy Ivanovitch that it is possible to steal without +being a thief?" + +"Do go on, Ferdishenko, and don't make unnecessary preface, or +you'll never finish," said Nastasia Philipovna. All observed how +irritable and cross she had become since her last burst of +laughter; but none the less obstinately did she stick to her +absurd whim about this new game. Totski sat looking miserable +enough. The general lingered over his champagne, and seemed to be +thinking of some story for the time when his turn should come. + +XIV. + +"I have no wit, Nastasia Philipovna," began Ferdishenko, "and +therefore I talk too much, perhaps. Were I as witty, now, as Mr. +Totski or the general, I should probably have sat silent all the +evening, as they have. Now, prince, what do you think?--are there +not far more thieves than honest men in this world? Don't you +think we may say there does not exist a single person so honest +that he has never stolen anything whatever in his life?" + +"What a silly idea," said the actress. "Of course it is not the +case. I have never stolen anything, for one." + +"H'm! very well, Daria Alexeyevna; you have not stolen anything-- +agreed. But how about the prince, now--look how he is blushing!" + +"I think you are partially right, but you exaggerate," said the +prince, who had certainly blushed up, of a sudden, for some +reason or other. + +"Ferdishenko--either tell us your story, or be quiet, and mind +your own business. You exhaust all patience," cuttingly and +irritably remarked Nastasia Philipovna. + +"Immediately, immediately! As for my story, gentlemen, it is too +stupid and absurd to tell you. + +"I assure you I am not a thief, and yet I have stolen; I cannot +explain why. It was at Semeon Ivanovitch Ishenka's country house, +one Sunday. He had a dinner party. After dinner the men stayed at +the table over their wine. It struck me to ask the daughter of +the house to play something on the piano; so I passed through the +corner room to join the ladies. In that room, on Maria Ivanovna's +writing-table, I observed a three-rouble note. She must have +taken it out for some purpose, and left it lying there. There was +no one about. I took up the note and put it in my pocket; why, I +can't say. I don't know what possessed me to do it, but it was +done, and I went quickly back to the dining-room and reseated +myself at the dinner-table. I sat and waited there in a great +state of excitement. I talked hard, and told lots of stories, and +laughed like mad; then I joined the ladies. + +"In half an hour or so the loss was discovered, and the servants +were being put under examination. Daria, the housemaid was +suspected. I exhibited the greatest interest and sympathy, and I +remember that poor Daria quite lost her head, and that I began +assuring her, before everyone, that I would guarantee her +forgiveness on the part of her mistress, if she would confess her +guilt. They all stared at the girl, and I remember a wonderful +attraction in the reflection that here was I sermonizing away, +with the money in my own pocket all the while. I went and spent +the three roubles that very evening at a restaurant. I went in +and asked for a bottle of Lafite, and drank it up; I wanted to be +rid of the money. + +"I did not feel much remorse either then or afterwards; but I +would not repeat the performance--believe it or not as you +please. There--that's all." + +"Only, of course that's not nearly your worst action," said the +actress, with evident dislike in her face. + +"That was a psychological phenomenon, not an action," remarked +Totski. + +"And what about the maid?" asked Nastasia Philipovna, with +undisguised contempt. + +"Oh, she was turned out next day, of course. It's a very strict +household, there!" + +"And you allowed it?" + +"I should think so, rather! I was not going to return and confess +next day," laughed Ferdishenko, who seemed a little surprised at +the disagreeable impression which his story had made on all +parties. + +"How mean you were!" said Nastasia. + +"Bah! you wish to hear a man tell of his worst actions, and you +expect the story to come out goody-goody! One's worst actions +always are mean. We shall see what the general has to say for +himself now. All is not gold that glitters, you know; and because +a man keeps his carriage he need not be specially virtuous, I +assure you, all sorts of people keep carriages. And by what +means?" + +In a word, Ferdishenko was very angry and rapidly forgetting +himself; his whole face was drawn with passion. Strange as it may +appear, he had expected much better success for his story. These +little errors of taste on Ferdishenko's part occurred very +frequently. Nastasia trembled with rage, and looked fixedly at +him, whereupon he relapsed into alarmed silence. He realized that +he had gone a little too far. + +"Had we not better end this game?" asked Totski. + +"It's my turn, but I plead exemption," said Ptitsin. + +"You don't care to oblige us?" asked Nastasia. + +"I cannot, I assure you. I confess I do not understand how anyone +can play this game." + +"Then, general, it's your turn," continued Nastasia Philipovna, +"and if you refuse, the whole game will fall through, which will +disappoint me very much, for I was looking forward to relating a +certain 'page of my own life.' I am only waiting for you and +Afanasy Ivanovitch to have your turns, for I require the support +of your example," she added, smiling. + +"Oh, if you put it in that way " cried the general, excitedly, +"I'm ready to tell the whole story of my life, but I must confess +that I prepared a little story in anticipation of my turn." + +Nastasia smiled amiably at him; but evidently her depression and +irritability were increasing with every moment. Totski was +dreadfully alarmed to hear her promise a revelation out of her +own life. + +"I, like everyone else," began the general, "have committed +certain not altogether graceful actions, so to speak, during the +course of my life. But the strangest thing of all in my case is, +that I should consider the little anecdote which I am now about +to give you as a confession of the worst of my 'bad actions.' It +is thirty-five years since it all happened, and yet I cannot to +this very day recall the circumstances without, as it were, a +sudden pang at the heart. + +"It was a silly affair--I was an ensign at the time. You know +ensigns--their blood is boiling water, their circumstances +generally penurious. Well, I had a servant Nikifor who used to do +everything for me in my quarters, economized and managed for me, +and even laid hands on anything he could find (belonging to other +people), in order to augment our household goods; but a faithful, +honest fellow all the same. + +"I was strict, but just by nature. At that time we were stationed +in a small town. I was quartered at an old widow's house, a +lieutenant's widow of eighty years of age. She lived in a +wretched little wooden house, and had not even a servant, so poor +was she. + +"Her relations had all died off--her husband was dead and buried +forty years since; and a niece, who had lived with her and +bullied her up to three years ago, was dead too; so that she was +quite alone. + +"Well, I was precious dull with her, especially as she was so +childish that there was nothing to be got out of her. Eventually, +she stole a fowl of mine; the business is a mystery to this day; +but it could have been no one but herself. I requested to be +quartered somewhere else, and was shifted to the other end of the +town, to the house of a merchant with a large family, and a long +beard, as I remember him. Nikifor and I were delighted to go; but +the old lady was not pleased at our departure. + +"Well, a day or two afterwards, when I returned from drill, +Nikifor says to me: 'We oughtn't to have left our tureen with the +old lady, I've nothing to serve the soup in.' + +"I asked how it came about that the tureen had been left. Nikifor +explained that the old lady refused to give it up, because, she +said, we had broken her bowl, and she must have our tureen in +place of it; she had declared that I had so arranged the matter +with herself. + +"This baseness on her part of course aroused my young blood to +fever heat; I jumped up, and away I flew. + +"I arrived at the old woman's house beside myself. She was +sitting in a corner all alone, leaning her face on her hand. I +fell on her like a clap of thunder. 'You old wretch!' I yelled +and all that sort of thing, in real Russian style. Well, when I +began cursing at her, a strange thing happened. I looked at her, +and she stared back with her eyes starting out of her head, but +she did not say a word. She seemed to sway about as she sat, and +looked and looked at me in the strangest way. Well, I soon +stopped swearing and looked closer at her, asked her questions, +but not a word could I get out of her. The flies were buzzing +about the room and only this sound broke the silence; the sun was +setting outside; I didn't know what to make of it, so I went +away. + +"Before I reached home I was met and summoned to the major's, so +that it was some while before I actually got there. When I came +in, Nikifor met me. 'Have you heard, sir, that our old lady is +dead?' 'DEAD, when?' 'Oh, an hour and a half ago.' That meant +nothing more nor less than that she was dying at the moment when +I pounced on her and began abusing her. + +"This produced a great effect upon me. I used to dream of the +poor old woman at nights. I really am not superstitious, but two +days after, I went to her funeral, and as time went on I thought +more and more about her. I said to myself, 'This woman, this +human being, lived to a great age. She had children, a husband +and family, friends and relations; her household was busy and +cheerful; she was surrounded by smiling faces; and then suddenly +they are gone, and she is left alone like a solitary fly ... like +a fly, cursed with the burden of her age. At last, God calls her +to Himself. At sunset, on a lovely summer's evening, my little +old woman passes away--a thought, you will notice, which offers +much food for reflection--and behold! instead of tears and +prayers to start her on her last journey, she has insults and +jeers from a young ensign, who stands before her with his hands +in his pockets, making a terrible row about a soup tureen!' Of +course I was to blame, and even now that I have time to look back +at it calmly, I pity the poor old thing no less. I repeat that I +wonder at myself, for after all I was not really responsible. Why +did she take it into her head to die at that moment? But the more +I thought of it, the more I felt the weight of it upon my mind; +and I never got quite rid of the impression until I put a couple +of old women into an almshouse and kept them there at my own +expense. There, that's all. I repeat I dare say I have committed +many a grievous sin in my day; but I cannot help always looking +back upon this as the worst action I have ever perpetrated." + +"H'm! and instead of a bad action, your excellency has detailed +one of your noblest deeds," said Ferdishenko. "Ferdishenko is +'done.'" + +"Dear me, general," said Nastasia Philipovna, absently, "I really +never imagined you had such a good heart." + +The general laughed with great satisfaction, and applied himself +once more to the champagne. + +It was now Totski's turn, and his story was awaited with great +curiosity--while all eyes turned on Nastasia Philipovna, as +though anticipating that his revelation must be connected somehow +with her. Nastasia, during the whole of his story, pulled at the +lace trimming of her sleeve, and never once glanced at the +speaker. Totski was a handsome man, rather stout, with a very +polite and dignified manner. He was always well dressed, and his +linen was exquisite. He had plump white hands, and wore a +magnificent diamond ring on one finger. + +"What simplifies the duty before me considerably, in my opinion," +he began, "is that I am bound to recall and relate the very worst +action of my life. In such circumstances there can, of course, be +no doubt. One's conscience very soon informs one what is the +proper narrative to tell. I admit, that among the many silly and +thoughtless actions of my life, the memory of one comes +prominently forward and reminds me that it lay long like a stone +on my heart. Some twenty years since, I paid a visit to Platon +Ordintzeff at his country-house. He had just been elected marshal +of the nobility, and had come there with his young wife for the +winter holidays. Anfisa Alexeyevna's birthday came off just then, +too, and there were two balls arranged. At that time Dumas-fils' +beautiful work, La Dame aux Camelias--a novel which I consider +imperishable--had just come into fashion. In the provinces all the +ladies were in raptures over it, those who had read it, at least. +Camellias were all the fashion. Everyone inquired for them, +everybody wanted them; and a grand lot of camellias are to be got +in a country town--as you all know--and two balls to provide for! + +"Poor Peter Volhofskoi was desperately in love with Anfisa +Alexeyevna. I don't know whether there was anything--I mean I +don't know whether he could possibly have indulged in any hope. +The poor fellow was beside himself to get her a bouquet of +camellias. Countess Sotski and Sophia Bespalova, as everyone +knew, were coming with white camellia bouquets. Anfisa wished for +red ones, for effect. Well, her husband Platon was driven +desperate to find some. And the day before the ball, Anfisa's +rival snapped up the only red camellias to be had in the place, +from under Platon's nose, and Platon--wretched man--was done for. +Now if Peter had only been able to step in at this moment with a +red bouquet, his little hopes might have made gigantic strides. A +woman's gratitude under such circumstances would have been +boundless--but it was practically an impossibility. + +"The night before the ball I met Peter, looking radiant. 'What is +it?' I ask. 'I've found them, Eureka!" 'No! where, where?' 'At +Ekshaisk (a little town fifteen miles off) there's a rich old +merchant, who keeps a lot of canaries, has no children, and he +and his wife are devoted to flowers. He's got some camellias.' +'And what if he won't let you have them?' 'I'll go on my knees +and implore till I get them. I won't go away.' 'When shall you +start?' 'Tomorrow morning at five o'clock.' 'Go on,' I said, +'and good luck to you.' + +"I was glad for the poor fellow, and went home. But an idea got +hold of me somehow. I don't know how. It was nearly two in the +morning. I rang the bell and ordered the coachman to be waked up +and sent to me. He came. I gave him a tip of fifteen roubles, and +told him to get the carriage ready at once. In half an hour it +was at the door. I got in and off we went. + +"By five I drew up at the Ekshaisky inn. I waited there till +dawn, and soon after six I was off, and at the old merchant +Trepalaf's. + +"'Camellias!' I said, 'father, save me, save me, let me have some +camellias!' He was a tall, grey old man--a terrible-looking old +gentleman. 'Not a bit of it,' he says. 'I won't.' Down I went on +my knees. 'Don't say so, don't--think what you're doing!' I +cried; 'it's a matter of life and death!' 'If that's the case, +take them,' says he. So up I get, and cut such a bouquet of red +camellias! He had a whole greenhouse full of them--lovely ones. +The old fellow sighs. I pull out a hundred roubles. 'No, no!' +says he, 'don't insult me that way.' 'Oh, if that's the case, +give it to the village hospital,' I say. 'Ah,' he says, 'that's +quite a different matter; that's good of you and generous. I'll +pay it in there for you with pleasure.' I liked that old fellow, +Russian to the core, de la vraie souche. I went home in raptures, +but took another road in order to avoid Peter. Immediately on +arriving I sent up the bouquet for Anfisa to see when she awoke. + +"You may imagine her ecstasy, her gratitude. The wretched Platon, +who had almost died since yesterday of the reproaches showered +upon him, wept on my shoulder. Of course poor Peter had no chance +after this. + +"I thought he would cut my throat at first, and went about armed +ready to meet him. But he took it differently; he fainted, and +had brain fever and convulsions. A month after, when he had +hardly recovered, he went off to the Crimea, and there he was +shot. + +"I assure you this business left me no peace for many a long +year. Why did I do it? I was not in love with her myself; I'm +afraid it was simply mischief--pure 'cussedness' on my part. + +"If I hadn't seized that bouquet from under his nose he might +have been alive now, and a happy man. He might have been +successful in life, and never have gone to fight the Turks." + +Totski ended his tale with the same dignity that had +characterized its commencement. + +Nastasia Philipovna's eyes were flashing in a most unmistakable +way, now; and her lips were all a-quiver by the time Totski +finished his story. + +All present watched both of them with curiosity. + +"You were right, Totski," said Nastasia, "it is a dull game and a +stupid one. I'll just tell my story, as I promised, and then +we'll play cards." + +"Yes, but let's have the story first!" cried the general. + +"Prince," said Nastasia Philipovna, unexpectedly turning to +Muishkin, "here are my old friends, Totski and General Epanchin, +who wish to marry me off. Tell me what you think. Shall I marry +or not? As you decide, so shall it be." + +Totski grew white as a sheet. The general was struck dumb. All +present started and listened intently. Gania sat rooted to his +chair. + +"Marry whom?" asked the prince, faintly. + +"Gavrila Ardalionovitch Ivolgin," said Nastasia, firmly and +evenly. + +There were a few seconds of dead silence. + +The prince tried to speak, but could not form his words; a great +weight seemed to lie upon his breast and suffocate him. + +"N-no! don't marry him!" he whispered at last, drawing his breath +with an effort. + +"So be it, then. Gavrila Ardalionovitch," she spoke solemnly and +forcibly, "you hear the prince's decision? Take it as my +decision; and let that be the end of the matter for good and +all." + +"Nastasia Philipovna!" cried Totski, in a quaking voice. + +"Nastasia Philipovna!" said the general, in persuasive but +agitated tones. + +Everyone in the room fidgeted in their places, and waited to see +what was coming next. + +"Well, gentlemen!" she continued, gazing around in apparent +astonishment; "what do you all look so alarmed about? Why are you +so upset?" + +"But--recollect, Nastasia Philipovna." stammered Totski, "you +gave a promise, quite a free one, and--and you might have spared +us this. I am confused and bewildered, I know; but, in a word, at +such a moment, and before company, and all so-so-irregular, +finishing off a game with a serious matter like this, a matter of +honour, and of heart, and--" + +"I don't follow you, Afanasy Ivanovitch; you are losing your +head. In the first place, what do you mean by 'before company'? +Isn't the company good enough for you? And what's all that about +'a game'? I wished to tell my little story, and I told it! Don't +you like it? You heard what I said to the prince? 'As you decide, +so it shall be!' If he had said 'yes,' I should have given my +consent! But he said 'no,' so I refused. Here was my whole life +hanging on his one word! Surely I was serious enough?" + +"The prince! What on earth has the prince got to do with it? Who +the deuce is the prince?" cried the general, who could conceal +his wrath no longer. + +"The prince has this to do with it--that I see in him. for the +first time in all my life, a man endowed with real truthfulness +of spirit, and I trust him. He trusted me at first sight, and I +trust him!" + +"It only remains for me, then, to thank Nastasia Philipovna for +the great delicacy with which she has treated me," said Gania, as +pale as death, and with quivering lips. "That is my plain duty, +of course; but the prince--what has he to do in the matter?" + +"I see what you are driving at," said Nastasia Philipovna. "You +imply that the prince is after the seventy-five thousand roubles +--I quite understand you. Mr. Totski, I forgot to say, 'Take your +seventy-five thousand roubles'--I don't want them. I let you go +free for nothing take your freedom! You must need it. Nine years +and three months' captivity is enough for anybody. Tomorrow I +shall start afresh--today I am a free agent for the first time in +my life. + +"General, you must take your pearls back, too--give them to your +wife--here they are! Tomorrow I shall leave this flat altogether, +and then there'll be no more of these pleasant little social +gatherings, ladies and gentlemen." + +So saying, she scornfully rose from her seat as though to depart. + +"Nastasia Philipovna! Nastasia Philipovna!" + +The words burst involuntarily from every mouth. All present +started up in bewildered excitement; all surrounded her; all had +listened uneasily to her wild, disconnected sentences. All felt +that something had happened, something had gone very far wrong +indeed, but no one could make head or tail of the matter. + +At this moment there was a furious ring at the bell, and a great +knock at the door--exactly similar to the one which had startled +the company at Gania's house in the afternoon. + +"Ah, ah! here's the climax at last, at half-past twelve!" cried +Nastasia Philipovna. "Sit down, gentlemen, I beg you. Something +is about to happen." + +So saying, she reseated herself; a strange smile played on her +lips. She sat quite still, but watched the door in a fever of +impatience. + +"Rogojin and his hundred thousand roubles, no doubt of it," +muttered Ptitsin to himself. + +XV. + +Katia, the maid-servant, made her appearance, terribly +frightened. + +"Goodness knows what it means, ma'am," she said. "There is a +whole collection of men come--all tipsy--and want to see you. They +say that 'it's Rogojin, and she knows all about it.'" + +"It's all right, Katia, let them all in at once." + +"Surely not ALL, ma'am? They seem so disorderly--it's dreadful to +see them." + +"Yes ALL, Katia, all--every one of them. Let them in, or they'll +come in whether you like or no. Listen! what a noise they are +making! Perhaps you are offended, gentlemen, that I should +receive such guests in your presence? I am very sorry, and ask +your forgiveness, but it cannot be helped--and I should be very +grateful if you could all stay and witness this climax. However, +just as you please, of course." + +The guests exchanged glances; they were annoyed and bewildered by +the episode; but it was clear enough that all this had been pre- +arranged and expected by Nastasia Philipovna, and that there was +no use in trying to stop her now--for she was little short of +insane. + +Besides, they were naturally inquisitive to see what was to +happen. There was nobody who would be likely to feel much alarm. +There were but two ladies present; one of whom was the lively +actress, who was not easily frightened, and the other the silent +German beauty who, it turned out, did not understand a word of +Russian, and seemed to be as stupid as she was lovely. + +Her acquaintances invited her to their "At Homes" because she was +so decorative. She was exhibited to their guests like a valuable +picture, or vase, or statue, or firescreen. As for the men, +Ptitsin was one of Rogojin's friends; Ferdishenko was as much at +home as a fish in the sea, Gania, not yet recovered from his +amazement, appeared to be chained to a pillory. The old professor +did not in the least understand what was happening; but when he +noticed how extremely agitated the mistress of the house, and her +friends, seemed, he nearly wept, and trembled with fright: but he +would rather have died than leave Nastasia Philipovna at such a +crisis, for he loved her as if she were his own granddaughter. +Afanasy Ivanovitch greatly disliked having anything to do with +the affair, but he was too much interested to leave, in spite of +the mad turn things had taken; and a few words that had dropped +from the lips of Nastasia puzzled him so much, that he felt he +could not go without an explanation. He resolved therefore, to +see it out, and to adopt the attitude of silent spectator, as +most suited to his dignity. Genera Epanchin alone determined to +depart. He was annoyed at the manner in which his gift had been +returned, an though he had condescended, under the influence of +passion, to place himself on a level with Ptitsin and +Ferdishenko, his self-respect and sense of duty now returned +together with a consciousness of what was due to his social rank +and official importance. In short, he plainly showed his +conviction that a man in his position could have nothing to do +with Rogojin and his companions. But Nastasia interrupted him at +his first words. + +"Ah, general!" she cried, "I was forgetting! If I had only +foreseen this unpleasantness! I won't insist on keeping you +against your will, although I should have liked you to be beside +me now. In any case, I am most grateful to you for your visit, +and flattering attention . . . but if you are afraid . . ." + +"Excuse me, Nastasia Philipovna," interrupted the general, with +chivalric generosity. "To whom are you speaking? I have remained +until now simply because of my devotion to you, and as for danger, +I am only afraid that the carpets may be ruined, and the furniture +smashed! . . . You should shut the door on the lot, in my opinion. +But I confess that I am extremely curious to see how it ends." + +"Rogojin!" announced Ferdishenko. + +"What do you think about it?" said the general in a low voice to +Totski. "Is she mad? I mean mad in the medical sense of the word +.. . . eh?" + +"I've always said she was predisposed to it," whispered Afanasy +Ivanovitch slyly. "Perhaps it is a fever!" + +Since their visit to Gania's home, Rogojin's followers had been +increased by two new recruits--a dissolute old man, the hero of +some ancient scandal, and a retired sub-lieutenant. A laughable +story was told of the former. He possessed, it was said, a set of +false teeth, and one day when he wanted money for a drinking +orgy, he pawned them, and was never able to reclaim them! The +officer appeared to be a rival of the gentleman who was so proud +of his fists. He was known to none of Rogojin's followers, but as +they passed by the Nevsky, where he stood begging, he had joined +their ranks. His claim for the charity he desired seemed based on +the fact that in the days of his prosperity he had given away as +much as fifteen roubles at a time. The rivals seemed more than a +little jealous of one another. The athlete appeared injured at +the admission of the "beggar" into the company. By nature +taciturn, he now merely growled occasionally like a bear, and +glared contemptuously upon the "beggar," who, being somewhat of a +man of the world, and a diplomatist, tried to insinuate himself +into the bear's good graces. He was a much smaller man than the +athlete, and doubtless was conscious that he must tread warily. +Gently and without argument he alluded to the advantages of the +English style in boxing, and showed himself a firm believer in +Western institutions. The athlete's lips curled disdainfully, and +without honouring his adversary with a formal denial, he +exhibited, as if by accident, that peculiarly Russian object--an +enormous fist, clenched, muscular, and covered with red hairs! +The sight of this pre-eminently national attribute was enough to +convince anybody, without words, that it was a serious matter for +those who should happen to come into contact with it. + +None of the band were very drunk, for the leader had kept his +intended visit to Nastasia in view all day, and had done his best +to prevent his followers from drinking too much. He was sober +himself, but the excitement of this chaotic day--the strangest day +of his life--had affected him so that he was in a dazed, wild +condition, which almost resembled drunkenness. + +He had kept but one idea before him all day, and for that he had +worked in an agony of anxiety and a fever of suspense. His +lieutenants had worked so hard from five o'clock until eleven, +that they actually had collected a hundred thousand roubles for +him, but at such terrific expense, that the rate of interest was +only mentioned among them in whispers and with bated breath. + +As before, Rogojin walked in advance of his troop, who followed +him with mingled self-assertion and timidity. They were specially +frightened of Nastasia Philipovna herself, for some reason. + +Many of them expected to be thrown downstairs at once, without +further ceremony, the elegant arid irresistible Zaleshoff among +them. But the party led by the athlete, without openly showing +their hostile intentions, silently nursed contempt and even +hatred for Nastasia Philipovna, and marched into her house as +they would have marched into an enemy's fortress. Arrived there, +the luxury of the rooms seemed to inspire them with a kind of +respect, not unmixed with alarm. So many things were entirely new +to their experience--the choice furniture, the pictures, the +great statue of Venus. They followed their chief into the salon, +however, with a kind of impudent curiosity. There, the sight of +General Epanchin among the guests, caused many of them to beat a +hasty retreat into the adjoining room, the "boxer" and "beggar" +being among the first to go. A few only, of whom Lebedeff made +one, stood their ground; he had contrived to walk side by side +with Rogojin, for he quite understood the importance of a man who +had a fortune of a million odd roubles, and who at this moment +carried a hundred thousand in his hand. It may be added that the +whole company, not excepting Lebedeff, had the vaguest idea of +the extent of their powers, and of how far they could safely go. +At some moments Lebedeff was sure that right was on their side; +at others he tried uneasily to remember various cheering and +reassuring articles of the Civil Code. + +Rogojin, when he stepped into the room, and his eyes fell upon +Nastasia, stopped short, grew white as a sheet, and stood +staring; it was clear that his heart was beating painfully. So he +stood, gazing intently, but timidly, for a few seconds. Suddenly, +as though bereft of his senses, he moved forward, staggering +helplessly, towards the table. On his way he collided against +Ptitsin's chair, and put his dirty foot on the lace skirt of the +silent lady's dress; but he neither apologized for this, nor even +noticed it. + +On reaching the table, he placed upon it a strange-looking +object, which he had carried with him into the drawing-room. This +was a paper packet, some six or seven inches thick, and eight or +nine in length, wrapped in an old newspaper, and tied round three +or four times with string. + +Having placed this before her, he stood with drooped arms and +head, as though awaiting his sentence. + +His costume was the same as it had been in the morning, except +for a new silk handkerchief round his neck, bright green and red, +fastened with a huge diamond pin, and an enormous diamond ring on +his dirty forefinger. + +Lebedeff stood two or three paces behind his chief; and the rest +of the band waited about near the door. + +The two maid-servants were both peeping in, frightened and amazed +at this unusual and disorderly scene. + +"What is that?" asked Nastasia Philipovna, gazing intently at +Rogojin, and indicating the paper packet. + +"A hundred thousand," replied the latter, almost in a whisper. + +"Oh! so he kept his word--there's a man for you! Well, sit down, +please--take that chair. I shall have something to say to you +presently. Who are all these with you? The same party? Let them +come in and sit down. There's room on that sofa, there are some +chairs and there's another sofa! Well, why don't they sit down?" + +Sure enough, some of the brave fellows entirely lost their heads +at this point, and retreated into the next room. Others, however, +took the hint and sat down, as far as they could from the table, +however; feeling braver in proportion to their distance from +Nastasia. + +Rogojin took the chair offered him, but he did not sit long; he +soon stood up again, and did not reseat himself. Little by little +he began to look around him and discern the other guests. Seeing +Gania, he smiled venomously and muttered to himself, "Look at that!" + +He gazed at Totski and the general with no apparent confusion, and +with very little curiosity. But when he observed that the prince was +seated beside Nastasia Philipovna, he could not take his eyes off him +for a long while, and was clearly amazed. He could not account +for the prince's presence there. It was not in the least +surprising that Rogojin should be, at this time, in a more or +less delirious condition; for not to speak of the excitements of +the day, he had spent the night before in the train, and had not +slept more than a wink for forty-eight hours. + +"This, gentlemen, is a hundred thousand roubles," said Nastasia +Philipovna, addressing the company in general, "here, in this +dirty parcel. This afternoon Rogojin yelled, like a madman, that +he would bring me a hundred thousand in the evening, and I have +been waiting for him all the while. He was bargaining for me, you +know; first he offered me eighteen thousand; then he rose to +forty, and then to a hundred thousand. And he has kept his word, +see! My goodness, how white he is! All this happened this +afternoon, at Gania's. I had gone to pay his mother a visit--my +future family, you know! And his sister said to my very face, +surely somebody will turn this shameless creature out. After which +she spat in her brother Gania's face--a girl of character, that!" + +"Nastasia Philipovna!" began the general, reproachfully. He was +beginning to put his own interpretation on the affair. + +"Well, what, general? Not quite good form, eh? Oh, nonsense! Here +have I been sitting in my box at the French theatre for the last +five years like a statue of inaccessible virtue, and kept out of +the way of all admirers, like a silly little idiot! Now, there's +this man, who comes and pays down his hundred thousand on the +table, before you all, in spite of my five years of innocence and +proud virtue, and I dare be sworn he has his sledge outside +waiting to carry me off. He values me at a hundred thousand! I see +you are still angry with me, Gania! Why, surely you never really +wished to take ME into your family? ME, Rogojin's mistress! What +did the prince say just now?" + +"I never said you were Rogojin's mistress--you are NOT!" said the +prince, in trembling accents. + +"Nastasia Philipovna, dear soul!" cried the actress, impatiently, +"do be calm, dear! If it annoys you so--all this--do go away and +rest! Of course you would never go with this wretched fellow, in +spite of his hundred thousand roubles! Take his money and kick +him out of the house; that's the way to treat him and the likes +of him! Upon my word, if it were my business, I'd soon clear them +all out!" + +The actress was a kind-hearted woman, and highly impressionable. +She was very angry now. + +"Don't be cross, Daria Alexeyevna!" laughed Nastasia. "I was not +angry when I spoke; I wasn't reproaching Gania. I don't know how +it was that I ever could have indulged the whim of entering an +honest family like his. I saw his mother--and kissed her hand, +too. I came and stirred up all that fuss, Gania, this afternoon, +on purpose to see how much you could swallow--you surprised me, +my friend--you did, indeed. Surely you could not marry a woman +who accepts pearls like those you knew the general was going to +give me, on the very eve of her marriage? And Rogojin! Why, in +your own house and before your own brother and sister, he +bargained with me! Yet you could come here and expect to be +betrothed to me before you left the house! You almost brought +your sister, too. Surely what Rogojin said about you is not +really true: that you would crawl all the way to the other end of +the town, on hands and knees, for three roubles?" + +"Yes, he would!" said Rogojin, quietly, but with an air of +absolute conviction. + +"H'm! and he receives a good salary, I'm told. Well, what should +you get but disgrace and misery if you took a wife you hated into +your family (for I know very well that you do hate me)? No, no! I +believe now that a man like you would murder anyone for money-- +sharpen a razor and come up behind his best friend and cut his +throat like a sheep--I've read of such people. Everyone seems +money-mad nowadays. No, no! I may be shameless, but you are far +worse. I don't say a word about that other--" + +"Nastasia Philipovna, is this really you? You, once so refined +and delicate of speech. Oh, what a tongue! What dreadful things +you are saying," cried the general, wringing his hands in real +grief. + +"I am intoxicated, general. I am having a day out, you know--it's +my birthday! I have long looked forward to this happy occasion. +Daria Alexeyevna, you see that nosegay-man, that Monsieur aux +Camelias, sitting there laughing at us?" + +"I am not laughing, Nastasia Philipovna; I am only listening with +all my attention," said Totski, with dignity. + +"Well, why have I worried him, for five years, and never let him +go free? Is he worth it? He is only just what he ought to be-- +nothing particular. He thinks I am to blame, too. He gave me my +education, kept me like a countess. Money--my word! What a lot of +money he spent over me! And he tried to find me an honest husband +first, and then this Gania, here. And what do you think? All +these five years I did not live with him, and yet I took his +money, and considered I was quite justified. + +"You say, take the hundred thousand and kick that man out. It is +true, it is an abominable business, as you say. I might have +married long ago, not Gania--Oh, no!--but that would have been +abominable too. + +"Would you believe it, I had some thoughts of marrying Totski, +four years ago! I meant mischief, I confess--but I could have had +him, I give you my word; he asked me himself. But I thought, no! +it's not worthwhile to take such advantage of him. No! I had +better go on to the streets, or accept Rogojin, or become a +washerwoman or something--for I have nothing of my own, you know. +I shall go away and leave everything behind, to the last rag--he +shall have it all back. And who would take me without anything? +Ask Gania, there, whether he would. Why, even Ferdishenko +wouldn't have me!" + +"No, Ferdishenko would not; he is a candid fellow, Nastasia +Philipovna," said that worthy. "But the prince would. You sit +here making complaints, but just look at the prince. I've been +observing him for a long while." + +Nastasia Philipovna looked keenly round at the prince. + +"Is that true?" she asked. + +"Quite true," whispered the prince. + +"You'll take me as I am, with nothing?" + +"I will, Nastasia Philipovna." + +"Here's a pretty business!" cried the general. "However, it might +have been expected of him." + +The prince continued to regard Nastasia with a sorrowful, but +intent and piercing, gaze. + +"Here's another alternative for me," said Nastasia, turning +once more to the actress; "and he does it out of pure +kindness of heart. I know him. I've found a benefactor. Perhaps, +though, what they say about him may be true--that he's an--we +know what. And what shall you live on, if you are really so madly +in love with Rogojin's mistress, that you are ready to marry her +--eh?" + +"I take you as a good, honest woman, Nastasia Philipovna--not as +Rogojin's mistress." + +"Who? I?--good and honest?" + +"Yes, you." + +"Oh, you get those ideas out of novels, you know. Times are +changed now, dear prince; the world sees things as they really +are. That's all nonsense. Besides, how can you marry? You need a +nurse, not a wife." + +The prince rose and began to speak in a trembling, timid tone, +but with the air of a man absolutely sure of the truth of his +words. + +"I know nothing, Nastasia Philipovna. I have seen nothing. You +are right so far; but I consider that you would be honouring me, +and not I you. I am a nobody. You have suffered, you have passed +through hell and emerged pure, and that is very much. Why do you +shame yourself by desiring to go with Rogojin? You are delirious. +You have returned to Mr. Totski his seventy-five thousand +roubles, and declared that you will leave this house and all that +is in it, which is a line of conduct that not one person here +would imitate. Nastasia Philipovna, I love you! I would die for +you. I shall never let any man say one word against you, Nastasia +Philipovna! and if we are poor, I can work for both." + +As the prince spoke these last words a titter was heard from +Ferdishenko; Lebedeff laughed too. The general grunted with +irritation; Ptitsin and Totski barely restrained their smiles. +The rest all sat listening, open-mouthed with wonder. + +"But perhaps we shall not be poor; we may be very rich, Nastasia +Philipovna." continued the prince, in the same timid, quivering +tones. "I don't know for certain, and I'm sorry to say I haven't +had an opportunity of finding out all day; but I received a +letter from Moscow, while I was in Switzerland, from a Mr. +Salaskin, and he acquaints me with the fact that I am entitled to +a very large inheritance. This letter--" + +The prince pulled a letter out of his pocket. + +"Is he raving?" said the general. "Are we really in a mad-house?" + +There was silence for a moment. Then Ptitsin spoke. + +"I think you said, prince, that your letter was from Salaskin? +Salaskin is a very eminent man, indeed, in his own world; he is a +wonderfully clever solicitor, and if he really tells you this, I +think you may be pretty sure that he is right. It so happens, +luckily, that I know his handwriting, for I have lately had +business with him. If you would allow me to see it, I should +perhaps be able to tell you." + +The prince held out the letter silently, but with a shaking hand. + +"What, what?" said the general, much agitated. + +"What's all this? Is he really heir to anything?" + +All present concentrated their attention upon Ptitsin, reading +the prince's letter. The general curiosity had received a new +fillip. Ferdishenko could not sit still. Rogojin fixed his eyes +first on the prince, and then on Ptitsin, and then back again; he +was extremely agitated. Lebedeff could not stand it. He crept up +and read over Ptitsin's shoulder, with the air of a naughty boy +who expects a box on the ear every moment for his indiscretion. + +XVI. + +"It's good business," said Ptitsin, at last, folding the letter +and handing it back to the prince. "You will receive, without the +slightest trouble, by the last will and testament of your aunt, a +very large sum of money indeed." + +"Impossible!" cried the general, starting up as if he had been +shot. + +Ptitsin explained, for the benefit of the company, that the +prince's aunt had died five months since. He had never known her, +but she was his mother's own sister, the daughter of a Moscow +merchant, one Paparchin, who had died a bankrupt. But the elder +brother of this same Paparchin, had been an eminent and very rich +merchant. A year since it had so happened that his only two sons +had both died within the same month. This sad event had so +affected the old man that he, too, had died very shortly after. +He was a widower, and had no relations left, excepting the +prince's aunt, a poor woman living on charity, who was herself +at the point of death from dropsy; but who had +time, before she died, to set Salaskin to work to find her +nephew, and to make her will bequeathing her newly-acquired +fortune to him. + +It appeared that neither the prince, nor the doctor with whom he +lived in Switzerland, had thought of waiting for further +communications; but the prince had started straight away with +Salaskin's letter in his pocket. + +"One thing I may tell you, for certain," concluded Ptitsin, +addressing the prince, "that there is no question about the +authenticity of this matter. Anything that Salaskin writes you as +regards your unquestionable right to this inheritance, you may +look upon as so much money in your pocket. I congratulate you, +prince; you may receive a million and a half of roubles, perhaps +more; I don't know. All I DO know is that Paparchin was a very +rich merchant indeed." + +"Hurrah!" cried Lebedeff, in a drunken voice. "Hurrah for the +last of the Muishkins!" + +"My goodness me! and I gave him twenty-five roubles this morning +as though he were a beggar," blurted out the general, half +senseless with amazement. "Well, I congratulate you, I +congratulate you!" And the general rose from his seat and +solemnly embraced the prince. All came forward with +congratulations; even those of Rogojin's party who had retreated +into the next room, now crept softly back to look on. For the +moment even Nastasia Philipovna was forgotten. + +But gradually the consciousness crept back into the minds of each +one present that the prince had just made her an offer of +marriage. The situation had, therefore, become three times as +fantastic as before. + +Totski sat and shrugged his shoulders, bewildered. He was the +only guest left sitting at this time; the others had thronged +round the table in disorder, and were all talking at once. + +It was generally agreed, afterwards, in recalling that evening, +that from this moment Nastasia Philipovna seemed entirely to lose +her senses. She continued to sit still in her place, looking +around at her guests with a strange, bewildered expression, as +though she were trying to collect her thoughts, and could not. +Then she suddenly turned to the prince, and glared at him with +frowning brows; but this only lasted one moment. Perhaps it +suddenly struck her that all this was a jest, but his face seemed +to reassure her. She reflected, and smiled again, vaguely. + +"So I am really a princess," she whispered to herself, +ironically, and glancing accidentally at Daria Alexeyevna's face, +she burst out laughing. + +"Ha, ha, ha!" she cried, "this is an unexpected climax, after +all. I didn't expect this. What are you all standing up for, +gentlemen? Sit down; congratulate me and the prince! Ferdishenko, +just step out and order some more champagne, will you? Katia, +Pasha," she added suddenly, seeing the servants at the door, +"come here! I'm going to be married, did you hear? To the prince. +He has a million and a half of roubles; he is Prince Muishkin, +and has asked me to marry him. Here, prince, come and sit by me; +and here comes the wine. Now then, ladies and gentlemen, where +are your congratulations?" + +"Hurrah!" cried a number of voices. A rush was made for the wine +by Rogojin's followers, though, even among them, there seemed +some sort of realization that the situation had changed. Rogojin +stood and looked on, with an incredulous smile, screwing up one +side of his mouth. + +"Prince, my dear fellow, do remember what you are about," said +the general, approaching Muishkin, and pulling him by the coat +sleeve. + +Nastasia Philipovna overheard the remark, and burst out laughing. + +"No, no, general!" she cried. "You had better look out! I am the +princess now, you know. The prince won't let you insult me. +Afanasy Ivanovitch, why don't you congratulate me? I shall be +able to sit at table with your new wife, now. Aha! you see what I +gain by marrying a prince! A million and a half, and a prince, +and an idiot into the bargain, they say. What better could I wish +for? Life is only just about to commence for me in earnest. +Rogojin, you are a little too late. Away with your paper parcel! +I'm going to marry the prince; I'm richer than you are now." + +But Rogojin understood how things were tending, at last. An +inexpressibly painful expression came over his face. He wrung his +hands; a groan made its way up from the depths of his soul. + +"Surrender her, for God's sake!" he said to the prince. + +All around burst out laughing. + +"What? Surrender her to YOU?" cried Daria Alexeyevna. "To a +fellow who comes and bargains for a wife like a moujik! The +prince wishes to marry her, and you--" + +"So do I, so do I! This moment, if I could! I'd give every +farthing I have to do it." + +"You drunken moujik," said Daria Alexeyevna, once more. "You +ought to be kicked out of the place." + +The laughter became louder than ever. + +"Do you hear, prince?" said Nastasia Philipovna. "Do you hear how +this moujik of a fellow goes on bargaining for your bride?" + +"He is drunk," said the prince, quietly, "and he loves you very +much." + +"Won't you be ashamed, afterwards, to reflect that your wife very +nearly ran away with Rogojin?" + +"Oh, you were raving, you were in a fever; you are still half +delirious." + +"And won't you be ashamed when they tell you, afterwards, that +your wife lived at Totski's expense so many years?" + +"No; I shall not be ashamed of that. You did not so live by your +own will." + +"And you'll never reproach me with it?" + +"Never." + +"Take care, don't commit yourself for a whole lifetime." + +"Nastasia Philipovna." said the prince, quietly, and with deep +emotion, "I said before that I shall esteem your consent to be my +wife as a great honour to myself, and shall consider that it is +you who will honour me, not I you, by our marriage. You laughed +at these words, and others around us laughed as well; I heard +them. Very likely I expressed myself funnily, and I may have +looked funny, but, for all that, I believe I understand where +honour lies, and what I said was but the literal truth. You were +about to ruin yourself just now, irrevocably; you would never +have forgiven yourself for so doing afterwards; and yet, you are +absolutely blameless. It is impossible that your life should be +altogether ruined at your age. What matter that Rogojin came +bargaining here, and that Gavrila Ardalionovitch would have +deceived you if he could? Why do you continually remind us of +these facts? I assure you once more that very few could find it +in them to act as you have acted this day. As for your wish to go +with Rogojin, that was simply the idea of a delirious and +suffering brain. You are still quite feverish; you ought to be in +bed, not here. You know quite well that if you had gone with +Rogojin, you would have become a washer-woman next day, rather +than stay with him. You are proud, Nastasia Philipovna, and +perhaps you have really suffered so much that you imagine +yourself to be a desperately guilty woman. You require a great +deal of petting and looking after, Nastasia Philipovna, and I +will do this. I saw your portrait this morning, and it seemed +quite a familiar face to me; it seemed to me that the portrait- +face was calling to me for help. I-I shall respect you all my +life, Nastasia Philipovna," concluded the prince, as though +suddenly recollecting himself, and blushing to think of the sort +of company before whom he had said all this. + +Ptitsin bowed his head and looked at the ground, overcome by a +mixture of feelings. Totski muttered to himself: "He may be an +idiot, but he knows that flattery is the best road to success +here." + +The prince observed Gania's eyes flashing at him, as though they +would gladly annihilate him then and there. + +"That's a kind-hearted man, if you like," said Daria Alexeyevna, +whose wrath was quickly evaporating. + +"A refined man, but--lost," murmured the general. + +Totski took his hat and rose to go. He and the general exchanged +glances, making a private arrangement, thereby, to leave the +house together. + +"Thank you, prince; no one has ever spoken to me like that +before," began Nastasia Philipovna. "Men have always bargained +for me, before this; and not a single respectable man has ever +proposed to marry me. Do you hear, Afanasy Ivanovitch? What do +YOU think of what the prince has just been saying? It was almost +immodest, wasn't it? You, Rogojin, wait a moment, don't go yet! I +see you don't intend to move however. Perhaps I may go with you +yet. Where did you mean to take me to?" + +"To Ekaterinhof," replied Lebedeff. Rogojin simply stood staring, +with trembling lips, not daring to believe his ears. He was +stunned, as though from a blow on the head. + +"What are you thinking of, my dear Nastasia?" said Daria +Alexeyevna in alarm. "What are you saying?" "You are not going +mad, are you?" + +Nastasia Philipovna burst out laughing and jumped up from the +sofa. + +"You thought I should accept this good child's invitation to ruin +him, did you?" she cried. "That's Totski's way, not mine. He's +fond of children. Come along, Rogojin, get your money ready! We +won't talk about marrying just at this moment, but let's see the +money at all events. Come! I may not marry you, either. I don't +know. I suppose you thought you'd keep the money, if I did! Ha, +ha, ha! nonsense! I have no sense of shame left. I tell you I +have been Totski's concubine. Prince, you must marry Aglaya +Ivanovna, not Nastasia Philipovna, or this fellow Ferdishenko +will always be pointing the finger of scorn at you. You aren't +afraid, I know; but I should always be afraid that I had ruined +you, and that you would reproach me for it. As for what you say +about my doing you honour by marrying you-well, Totski can tell +you all about that. You had your eye on Aglaya, Gania, you know +you had; and you might have married her if you had not come +bargaining. You are all like this. You should choose, once for +all, between disreputable women, and respectable ones, or you are +sure to get mixed. Look at the general, how he's staring at me!" + +"This is too horrible," said the general, starting to his feet. +All were standing up now. Nastasia was absolutely beside herself. + +"I am very proud, in spite of what I am," she continued. "You +called me 'perfection' just now, prince. A nice sort of +perfection to throw up a prince and a million and a half of +roubles in order to be able to boast of the fact afterwards! What +sort of a wife should I make for you, after all I have said? +Afanasy Ivanovitch, do you observe I have really and truly thrown +away a million of roubles? And you thought that I should consider +your wretched seventy-five thousand, with Gania thrown in for a +husband, a paradise of bliss! Take your seventy-five thousand +back, sir; you did not reach the hundred thousand. Rogojin cut a +better dash than you did. I'll console Gania myself; I have an +idea about that. But now I must be off! I've been in prison for +ten years. I'm free at last! Well, Rogojin, what are you waiting +for? Let's get ready and go." + +"Come along!" shouted Rogojin, beside himself with joy. "Hey! all +of you fellows! Wine! Round with it! Fill the glasses!" + +"Get away!" he shouted frantically, observing that Daria +Alexeyevna was approaching to protest against Nastasia's conduct. +"Get away, she's mine, everything's mine! She's a queen, get +away!" + +He was panting with ecstasy. He walked round and round Nastasia +Philipovna and told everybody to "keep their distance." + +All the Rogojin company were now collected in the drawing-room; +some were drinking, some laughed and talked: all were in the +highest and wildest spirits. Ferdishenko was doing his best to +unite himself to them; the general and Totski again made an +attempt to go. Gania, too stood hat in hand ready to go; but +seemed to be unable to tear his eyes away from the scene before +him + +"Get out, keep your distance!" shouted Rogojin. + +"What are you shouting about there!" cried Nastasia "I'm not +yours yet. I may kick you out for all you know I haven't taken +your money yet; there it all is on the table Here, give me over +that packet! Is there a hundred thousand roubles in that one +packet? Pfu! what abominable stuff it looks! Oh! nonsense, Daria +Alexeyevna; you surely did not expect me to ruin HIM?" +(indicating the prince). "Fancy him nursing me! Why, he needs a +nurse himself! The general, there, will be his nurse now, you'll +see. Here, prince, look here! Your bride is accepting money. What +a disreputable woman she must be! And you wished to marry her! +What are you crying about? Is it a bitter dose? Never mind, you +shall laugh yet. Trust to time." (In spite of these words there +were two large tears rolling down Nastasia's own cheeks.) "It's +far better to think twice of it now than afterwards. Oh! you +mustn't cry like that! There's Katia crying, too. What is it, +Katia, dear? I shall leave you and Pasha a lot of things, I've +laid them out for you already; but good-bye, now. I made an +honest girl like you serve a low woman like myself. It's better +so, prince, it is indeed. You'd begin to despise me afterwards-- +we should never be happy. Oh! you needn't swear, prince, I shan't +believe you, you know. How foolish it would be, too! No, no; we'd +better say good-bye and part friends. I am a bit of a dreamer +myself, and I used to dream of you once. Very often during those +five years down at his estate I used to dream and think, and I +always imagined just such a good, honest, foolish fellow as you, +one who should come and say to me: 'You are an innocent woman, +Nastasia Philipovna, and I adore you.' I dreamt of you often. I +used to think so much down there that I nearly went mad; and then +this fellow here would come down. He would stay a couple of +months out of the twelve, and disgrace and insult and deprave me, +and then go; so that I longed to drown myself in the pond a +thousand times over; but I did not dare do it. I hadn't the +heart, and now--well, are you ready, Rogojin?" + +"Ready--keep your distance, all of you!" + +"We're all ready," said several of his friends. "The troikas +[Sledges drawn by three horses abreast.] are at the door, bells +and all." + +Nastasia Philipovna seized the packet of bank-notes. + +"Gania, I have an idea. I wish to recompense you--why should you +lose all? Rogojin, would he crawl for three roubles as far as the +Vassiliostrof? + +"Oh, wouldn't he just!" + +"Well, look here, Gania. I wish to look into your heart once +more, for the last time. You've worried me for the last three +months--now it's my turn. Do you see this packet? It contains a +hundred thousand roubles. Now, I'm going to throw it into the +fire, here--before all these witnesses. As soon as the fire +catches hold of it, you put your hands into the fire and pick it +out--without gloves, you know. You must have bare hands, and you +must turn your sleeves up. Pull it out, I say, and it's all +yours. You may burn your fingers a little, of course; but then +it's a hundred thousand roubles, remember--it won't take you long +to lay hold of it and snatch it out. I shall so much admire you +if you put your hands into the fire for my money. All here +present may be witnesses that the whole packet of money is yours +if you get it out. If you don't get it out, it shall burn. I will +let no one else come; away--get away, all of you--it's my money! +Rogojin has bought me with it. Is it my money, Rogojin?" + +"Yes, my queen; it's your own money, my joy." + +"Get away then, all of you. I shall do as I like with my own-- +don't meddle! Ferdishenko, make up the fire, quick!" + +"Nastasia Philipovna, I can't; my hands won't obey me," said +Ferdishenko, astounded and helpless with bewilderment. + +"Nonsense," cried Nastasia Philipovna, seizing the poker and +raking a couple of logs together. No sooner did a tongue of flame +burst out than she threw the packet of notes upon it. + +Everyone gasped; some even crossed themselves. + +"She's mad--she's mad!" was the cry. + +"Oughtn't-oughtn't we to secure her?" asked the general of +Ptitsin, in a whisper; "or shall we send for the authorities? +Why, she's mad, isn't she--isn't she, eh?" + +"N-no, I hardly think she is actually mad," whispered Ptitsin, +who was as white as his handkerchief, and trembling like a leaf. +He could not take his eyes off the smouldering packet. + +"She's mad surely, isn't she?" the general appealed to Totski. + +"I told you she wasn't an ordinary woman," replied the latter, +who was as pale as anyone. + +"Oh, but, positively, you know--a hundred thousand roubles!" + +"Goodness gracious! good heavens!" came from all quarters of the +room. + +All now crowded round the fire and thronged to see what was going +on; everyone lamented and gave vent to exclamations of horror and +woe. Some jumped up on chairs in order to get a better view. +Daria Alexeyevna ran into the next room and whispered excitedly +to Katia and Pasha. The beautiful German disappeared altogether. + +"My lady! my sovereign!" lamented Lebedeff, falling on his knees +before Nastasia Philipovna, and stretching out his hands towards +the fire; "it's a hundred thousand roubles, it is indeed, I +packed it up myself, I saw the money! My queen, let me get into +the fire after it--say the word-I'll put my whole grey head into +the fire for it! I have a poor lame wife and thirteen children. +My father died of starvation last week. Nastasia Philipovna, +Nastasia Philipovna!" The wretched little man wept, and groaned, +and crawled towards the fire. + +"Away, out of the way!" cried Nastasia. "Make room, all of you! +Gania, what are you standing there for? Don't stand on ceremony. +Put in your hand! There's your whole happiness smouldering away, +look! Quick!" + +But Gania had borne too much that day, and especially this +evening, and he was not prepared for this last, quite unexpected +trial. + +The crowd parted on each side of him and he was left face to face +with Nastasia Philipovna, three paces from her. She stood by the +fire and waited, with her intent gaze fixed upon him. + +Gania stood before her, in his evening clothes, holding his white +gloves and hat in his hand, speechless and motionless, with arms +folded and eyes fixed on the fire. + +A silly, meaningless smile played on his white, death-like lips. +He could not take his eyes off the smouldering packet; but it +appeared that something new had come to birth in his soul--as +though he were vowing to himself that he would bear this trial. +He did not move from his place. In a few seconds it became +evident to all that he did not intend to rescue the money. + +"Hey! look at it, it'll burn in another minute or two!" cried +Nastasia Philipovna. "You'll hang yourself afterwards, you know, +if it does! I'm not joking." + +The fire, choked between a couple of smouldering pieces of wood, +had died down for the first few moments after the packet was +thrown upon it. But a little tongue of fire now began to lick the +paper from below, and soon, gathering courage, mounted the sides +of the parcel, and crept around it. In another moment, the whole +of it burst into flames, and the exclamations of woe and horror +were redoubled. + +"Nastasia Philipovna!" lamented Lebedeff again, straining towards +the fireplace; but Rogojin dragged him away, and pushed him to +the rear once more. + +The whole of Regojin's being was concentrated in one rapturous +gaze of ecstasy. He could not take his eyes off Nastasia. He +stood drinking her in, as it were. He was in the seventh heaven +of delight. + +"Oh, what a queen she is!" he ejaculated, every other minute, +throwing out the remark for anyone who liked to catch it. "That's +the sort of woman for me! Which of you would think of doing a +thing like that, you blackguards, eh?" he yelled. He was +hopelessly and wildly beside himself with ecstasy. + +The prince watched the whole scene, silent and dejected. + +"I'll pull it out with my teeth for one thousand," said +Ferdishenko. + +"So would I," said another, from behind, "with pleasure. Devil +take the thing!" he added, in a tempest of despair, "it will all +be burnt up in a minute--It's burning, it's burning!" + +"It's burning, it's burning!" cried all, thronging nearer and +nearer to the fire in their excitement. + +"Gania, don't be a fool! I tell you for the last time." + +"Get on, quick!" shrieked Ferdishenko, rushing wildly up to +Gania, and trying to drag him to the fire by the sleeve of his +coat. "Get it, you dummy, it's burning away fast! Oh--DAMN the +thing!" + +Gania hurled Ferdishenko from him; then he turned sharp round and +made for the door. But he had not gone a couple of steps when he +tottered and fell to the ground. + +"He's fainted!" the cry went round. + +"And the money's burning still," Lebedeff lamented. + +"Burning for nothing," shouted others. + +"Katia-Pasha! Bring him some water!" cried Nastasia Philipovna. +Then she took the tongs and fished out the packet. + +Nearly the whole of the outer covering was burned away, but it +was soon evident that the contents were hardly touched. The +packet had been wrapped in a threefold covering of newspaper, and +the, notes were safe. All breathed more freely. + +"Some dirty little thousand or so may be touched," said Lebedeff, +immensely relieved, "but there's very little harm done, after +all." + +"It's all his--the whole packet is for him, do you hear--all of +you?" cried Nastasia Philipovna, placing the packet by the side +of Gania. "He restrained himself, and didn't go after it; so his +self-respect is greater than his thirst for money. All right-- +he'll come to directly--he must have the packet or he'll cut his +throat afterwards. There! He's coming to himself. General, +Totski, all of you, did you hear me? The money is all Gania's. I +give it to him, fully conscious of my action, as recompense for-- +well, for anything he thinks best. Tell him so. Let it lie here +beside him. Off we go, Rogojin! Goodbye, prince. I have seen a +man for the first time in my life. Goodbye, Afanasy Ivanovitch-- +and thanks!" + +The Rogojin gang followed their leader and Nastasia Philipovna to +the entrance-hall, laughing and shouting and whistling. + +In the hall the servants were waiting, and handed her her fur +cloak. Martha, the cook, ran in from the kitchen. Nastasia kissed +them all round. + +"Are you really throwing us all over, little mother? Where, where +are you going to? And on your birthday, too!" cried the four +girls, crying over her and kissing her hands. + +"I am going out into the world, Katia; perhaps I shall be a +laundress. I don't know. No more of Afanasy Ivanovitch, anyhow. +Give him my respects. Don't think badly of me, girls." + +The prince hurried down to the front gate where the party were +settling into the troikas, all the bells tinkling a merry +accompaniment the while. The general caught him up on the stairs: + +"Prince, prince!" he cried, seizing hold of his arm, "recollect +yourself! Drop her, prince! You see what sort of a woman she is. +I am speaking to you like a father." + +The prince glanced at him, but said nothing. He shook himself +free, and rushed on downstairs. + +The general was just in time to see the prince take the first +sledge he could get, and, giving the order to Ekaterinhof, start +off in pursuit of the troikas. Then the general's fine grey horse +dragged that worthy home, with some new thoughts, and some new +hopes and calculations developing in his brain, and with the +pearls in his pocket, for he had not forgotten to bring them +along with him, being a man of business. Amid his new thoughts +and ideas there came, once or twice, the image of Nastasia +Philipovna. The general sighed. + +"I'm sorry, really sorry," he muttered. "She's a ruined woman. +Mad! mad! However, the prince is not for Nastasia Philipovna +now,--perhaps it's as well." + +Two more of Nastasia's guests, who walked a short distance +together, indulged in high moral sentiments of a similar nature. + +"Do you know, Totski, this is all very like what they say goes on +among the Japanese?" said Ptitsin. "The offended party there, +they say, marches off to his insulter and says to him, 'You +insulted me, so I have come to rip myself open before your eyes;' +and with these words he does actually rip his stomach open before +his enemy, and considers, doubtless, that he is having all +possible and necessary satisfaction and revenge. There are +strange characters in the world, sir!" + +"H'm! and you think there was something of this sort here, do +you? Dear me--a very remarkable comparison, you know! But you +must have observed, my dear Ptitsin, that I did all I possibly +could. I could do no more than I did. And you must admit that +there are some rare qualities in this woman. I felt I could not +speak in that Bedlam, or I should have been tempted to cry out, +when she reproached me, that she herself was my best +justification. Such a woman could make anyone forget all reason-- +everything! Even that moujik, Rogojin, you saw, brought her a +hundred thousand roubles! Of course, all that happened tonight +was ephemeral, fantastic, unseemly--yet it lacked neither colour +nor originality. My God! What might not have been made of such a +character combined with such beauty! Yet in spite of all efforts +--in spite of all education, even--all those gifts are wasted! She +is an uncut diamond.... I have often said so." + +And Afanasy Ivanovitch heaved a deep sigh. + +PART II + +I. + +Two days after the strange conclusion to Nastasia Philipovna's +birthday party, with the record of which we concluded the first +part of this story, Prince Muishkin hurriedly left St. Petersburg +for Moscow, in order to see after some business connected with +the receipt of his unexpected fortune. + +It was said that there were other reasons for his hurried +departure; but as to this, and as to his movements in Moscow, and +as to his prolonged absence from St. Petersburg, we are able to +give very little information. + +The prince was away for six months, and even those who were most +interested in his destiny were able to pick up very little news +about him all that while. True, certain rumours did reach his +friends, but these were both strange and rare, and each one +contradicted the last. + +Of course the Epanchin family was much interested in his +movements, though he had not had time to bid them farewell before +his departure. The general, however, had had an opportunity of +seeing him once or twice since the eventful evening, and had +spoken very seriously with him; but though he had seen the +prince, as I say, he told his family nothing about the +circumstance. In fact, for a month or so after his departure it +was considered not the thing to mention the prince's name in the +Epanchin household. Only Mrs. Epanchin, at the commencement of +this period, had announced that she had been "cruelly mistaken in +the prince!" and a day or two after, she had added, evidently +alluding to him, but not mentioning his name, that it was an +unalterable characteristic of hers to be mistaken in people. Then +once more, ten days later, after some passage of arms with one of +her daughters, she had remarked sententiously. "We have had +enough of mistakes. I shall be more careful in future!" However, +it was impossible to avoid remarking that there was some sense of +oppression in the household--something unspoken, but felt; +something strained. All the members of the family wore frowning +looks. The general was unusually busy; his family hardly ever saw +him. + +As to the girls, nothing was said openly, at all events; and +probably very little in private. They were proud damsels, and +were not always perfectly confidential even among themselves. But +they understood each other thoroughly at the first word on all +occasions; very often at the first glance, so that there was no +need of much talking as a rule. + +One fact, at least, would have been perfectly plain to an +outsider, had any such person been on the spot; and that was, +that the prince had made a very considerable impression upon the +family, in spite of the fact that he had but once been inside the +house, and then only for a short time. Of course, if analyzed, +this impression might have proved to be nothing more than a +feeling of curiosity; but be it what it might, there it +undoubtedly was. + +Little by little, the rumours spread about town became lost in a +maze of uncertainty. It was said that some foolish young prince, +name unknown, had suddenly come into possession of a gigantic +fortune, and had married a French ballet dancer. This was +contradicted, and the rumour circulated that it was a young +merchant who had come into the enormous fortune and married the +great ballet dancer, and that at the wedding the drunken young +fool had burned seventy thousand roubles at a candle out of pure +bravado. + +However, all these rumours soon died down, to which circumstance +certain facts largely contributed. For instance, the whole of the +Rogojin troop had departed, with him at their head, for Moscow. +This was exactly a week after a dreadful orgy at the Ekaterinhof +gardens, where Nastasia Philipovna had been present. It became +known that after this orgy Nastasia Philipovna had entirely +disappeared, and that she had since been traced to Moscow; so +that the exodus of the Rogojin band was found consistent with +this report. + +There were rumours current as to Gania, too; but circumstances +soon contradicted these. He had fallen seriously ill, and his +illness precluded his appearance in society, and even at +business, for over a month. As soon as he had recovered, however, +he threw up his situation in the public company under General +Epanchin's direction, for some unknown reason, and the post was +given to another. He never went near the Epanchins' house at all, +and was exceedingly irritable and depressed. + +Varvara Ardalionovna married Ptitsin this winter, and it was said +that the fact of Gania's retirement from business was the +ultimate cause of the marriage, since Gania was now not only +unable to support his family, but even required help himself. + +We may mention that Gania was no longer mentioned in the Epanchin +household any more than the prince was; but that a certain +circumstance in connection with the fatal evening at Nastasia's +house became known to the general, and, in fact, to all the +family the very next day. This fact was that Gania had come home +that night, but had refused to go to bed. He had awaited the +prince's return from Ekaterinhof with feverish impatience. + +On the latter's arrival, at six in the morning, Gania had gone to +him in his room, bringing with him the singed packet of money, +which he had insisted that the prince should return to Nastasia +Philipovna without delay. It was said that when Gania entered the +prince's room, he came with anything but friendly feelings, and +in a condition of despair and misery; but that after a short +conversation, he had stayed on for a couple of hours with him, +sobbing continuously and bitterly the whole time. They had parted +upon terms of cordial friendship. + +The Epanchins heard about this, as well as about the episode at +Nastasia Philipovna's. It was strange, perhaps, that the facts +should become so quickly, and fairly accurately, known. As far as +Gania was concerned, it might have been supposed that the news +had come through Varvara Ardalionovna, who had suddenly become a +frequent visitor of the Epanchin girls, greatly to their mother's +surprise. But though Varvara had seen fit, for some reason, to +make friends with them, it was not likely that she would have +talked to them about her brother. She had plenty of pride, in +spite of the fact that in thus acting she was seeking intimacy +with people who had practically shown her brother the door. She +and the Epanchin girls had been acquainted in childhood, although +of late they had met but rarely. Even now Varvara hardly ever +appeared in the drawing-room, but would slip in by a back way. +Lizabetha Prokofievna, who disliked Varvara, although she had a +great respect for her mother, was much annoyed by this sudden +intimacy, and put it down to the general "contrariness" of her +daughters, who were "always on the lookout for some new way of +opposing her." Nevertheless, Varvara continued her visits. + +A month after Muishkin's departure, Mrs. Epanchin received a +letter from her old friend Princess Bielokonski (who had lately +left for Moscow), which letter put her into the greatest good +humour. She did not divulge its contents either to her daughters +or the general, but her conduct towards the former became +affectionate in the extreme. She even made some sort of +confession to them, but they were unable to understand what it +was about. She actually relaxed towards the general a little--he +had been long disgraced--and though she managed to quarrel with +them all the next day, yet she soon came round, and from her +general behaviour it was to be concluded that she had bad good +news of some sort, which she would like, but could not make up +her mind, to disclose. + +However, a week later she received another letter from the same +source, and at last resolved to speak. + +She solemnly announced that she had heard from old Princess +Bielokonski, who had given her most comforting news about "that +queer young prince." Her friend had hunted him up, and found that +all was going well with him. He had since called in person upon +her, making an extremely favourable impression, for the princess +had received him each day since, and had introduced him into +several good houses. + +The girls could see that their mother concealed a great deal from +them, and left out large pieces of the letter in reading it to +them. + +However, the ice was broken, and it suddenly became possible to +mention the prince's name again. And again it became evident how +very strong was the impression the young man had made in the +household by his one visit there. Mrs. Epanchin was surprised at +the effect which the news from Moscow had upon the girls, and +they were no less surprised that after solemnly remarking that +her most striking characteristic was "being mistaken in people" +she should have troubled to obtain for the prince the favour and +protection of so powerful an old lady as the Princess +Bielokonski. As soon as the ice was thus broken, the general lost +no time in showing that he, too, took the greatest interest in +the subject. He admitted that he was interested, but said that it +was merely in the business side of the question. It appeared +that, in the interests of the prince, he had made arrangements in +Moscow for a careful watch to be kept upon the prince's business +affairs, and especially upon Salaskin. All that had been said as +to the prince being an undoubted heir to a fortune turned out to +be perfectly true; but the fortune proved to be much smaller than +was at first reported. The estate was considerably encumbered +with debts; creditors turned up on all sides, and the prince, in +spite of all advice and entreaty, insisted upon managing all +matters of claim himself--which, of course, meant satisfying +everybody all round, although half the claims were absolutely +fraudulent. + +Mrs. Epanchin confirmed all this. She said the princess had +written to much the same effect, and added that there was no +curing a fool. But it was plain, from her expression of face, how +strongly she approved of this particular young fool's doings. In +conclusion, the general observed that his wife took as great an +interest in the prince as though he were her own son; and that +she had commenced to be especially affectionate towards Aglaya +was a self-evident fact. + +All this caused the general to look grave and important. But, +alas! this agreeable state of affairs very soon changed once +more. + +A couple of weeks went by, and suddenly the general and his wife +were once more gloomy and silent, and the ice was as firm as +ever. The fact was, the general, who had heard first, how Nastasia +Philipovna had fled to Moscow and had been discovered there by +Rogojin; that she had then disappeared once more, and been +found again by Rogojin, and how after that she had almost +promised to marry him, now received news that she had once more +disappeared, almost on the very day fixed for her wedding, flying +somewhere into the interior of Russia this time, and that Prince +Muishkin had left all his affairs in the hands of Salaskin and +disappeared also--but whether he was with Nastasia, or had only +set off in search of her, was unknown. + +Lizabetha Prokofievna received confirmatory news from the +princess--and alas, two months after the prince's first +departure from St. Petersburg, darkness and mystery once more +enveloped his whereabouts and actions, and in the Epanchin family +the ice of silence once more formed over the subject. Varia, +however, informed the girls of what had happened, she having +received the news from Ptitsin, who generally knew more than most +people. + +To make an end, we may say that there were many changes in the +Epanchin household in the spring, so that it was not difficult to +forget the prince, who sent no news of himself. + +The Epanchin family had at last made up their minds to spend the +summer abroad, all except the general, who could not waste time +in "travelling for enjoyment," of course. This arrangement was +brought about by the persistence of the girls, who insisted that +they were never allowed to go abroad because their parents were +too anxious to marry them off. Perhaps their parents had at last +come to the conclusion that husbands might be found abroad, and +that a summer's travel might bear fruit. The marriage between +Alexandra and Totski had been broken off. Since the prince's +departure from St. Petersburg no more had been said about it; the +subject had been dropped without ceremony, much to the joy of +Mrs. General, who, announced that she was "ready to cross herself +with both hands" in gratitude for the escape. The general, +however, regretted Totski for a long while. "Such a fortune!" he +sighed, "and such a good, easy-going fellow!" + +After a time it became known that Totski had married a French +marquise, and was to be carried off by her to Paris, and then to +Brittany. + +"Oh, well," thought the general, "he's lost to us for good, now." + +So the Epanchins prepared to depart for the summer. + +But now another circumstance occurred, which changed all the +plans once more, and again the intended journey was put off, much +to the delight of the general and his spouse. + +A certain Prince S-- arrived in St. Petersburg from Moscow, an +eminent and honourable young man. He was one of those active +persons who always find some good work with which to employ +themselves. Without forcing himself upon the public notice, +modest and unobtrusive, this young prince was concerned with much +that happened in the world in general. + +He had served, at first, in one of the civil departments, had +then attended to matters connected with the local government of +provincial towns, and had of late been a corresponding member of +several important scientific societies. He was a man of excellent +family and solid means, about thirty-five years of age. + +Prince S-- made the acquaintance of the general's family, and +Adelaida, the second girl, made a great impression upon him. +Towards the spring he proposed to her, and she accepted him. The +general and his wife were delighted. The journey abroad was put +off, and the wedding was fixed for a day not very distant. + +The trip abroad might have been enjoyed later on by Mrs. Epanchin +and her two remaining daughters, but for another circumstance. + +It so happened that Prince S-- introduced a distant relation of +his own into the Epanchin family--one Evgenie Pavlovitch, a young +officer of about twenty-eight years of age, whose conquests among +the ladies in Moscow had been proverbial. This young gentleman +no sooner set eyes on Aglaya than he became a frequent visitor at +the house. He was witty, well-educated, and extremely wealthy, as +the general very soon discovered. His past reputation was the +only thing against him. + +Nothing was said; there were not even any hints dropped; but +still, it seemed better to the parents to say nothing more about +going abroad this season, at all events. Aglaya herself perhaps +was of a different opinion. + +All this happened just before the second appearance of our hero +upon the scene. + +By this time, to judge from appearances, poor Prince Muishkin had +been quite forgotten in St. Petersburg. If he had appeared +suddenly among his acquaintances, he would have been received as +one from the skies; but we must just glance at one more fact +before we conclude this preface. + +Colia Ivolgin, for some time after the prince's departure, +continued his old life. That is, he went to school, looked after +his father, helped Varia in the house, and ran her errands, and +went frequently to see his friend, Hippolyte. + +The lodgers had disappeared very quickly--Ferdishenko soon after +the events at Nastasia Philipovna's, while the prince went to +Moscow, as we know. Gania and his mother went to live with Varia +and Ptitsin immediately after the latter's wedding, while the +general was housed in a debtor's prison by reason of certain +IOU's given to the captain's widow under the impression that they +would never be formally used against him. This unkind action much +surprised poor Ardalion Alexandrovitch, the victim, as he called +himself, of an "unbounded trust in the nobility of the human +heart." + +When he signed those notes of hand,he never dreamt that they would +be a source of future trouble. The event showed that he was mistaken. +"Trust in anyone after this! Have the least confidence in man or woman!" +he cried in bitter tones, as he sat with his new friends in prison, and +recounted to them his favourite stories of the siege of Kars, and +the resuscitated soldier. On the whole, he accommodated himself +very well to his new position. Ptitsin and Varia declared that he +was in the right place, and Gania was of the same opinion. The +only person who deplored his fate was poor Nina Alexandrovna, who +wept bitter tears over him, to the great surprise of her +household, and, though always in feeble health, made a point of +going to see him as often as possible. + +Since the general's "mishap," as Colia called it, and the +marriage of his sister, the boy had quietly possessed himself of +far more freedom. His relations saw little of him, for he rarely +slept at home. He made many new friends; and was moreover, a +frequent visitor at the debtor's prison, to which he invariably +accompanied his mother. Varia, who used to be always correcting +him, never spoke to him now on the subject of his frequent +absences, and the whole household was surprised to see Gania, in +spite of his depression, on quite friendly terms with his +brother. This was something new, for Gania had been wont to look +upon Colia as a kind of errand-boy, treating him with contempt, +threatening to "pull his ears," and in general driving him almost +wild with irritation. It seemed now that Gania really needed his +brother, and the latter, for his part, felt as if he could +forgive Gania much since he had returned the hundred thousand +roubles offered to him by Nastasia Philipovna. Three months after +the departure of the prince, the Ivolgin family discovered that +Colia had made acquaintance with the Epanchins, and was on very +friendly terms with the daughters. Varia heard of it first, +though Colia had not asked her to introduce him. Little by little +the family grew quite fond of him. Madame Epanchin at first +looked on him with disdain, and received him coldly, but in a +short time he grew to please her, because, as she said, he "was +candid and no flatterer" -- a very true description. From the first +he put himself on an equality with his new friends, and though he +sometimes read newspapers and books to the mistress of the house, +it was simply because he liked to be useful. + +One day, however, he and Lizabetha Prokofievna quarrelled +seriously about the "woman question," in the course of a lively +discussion on that burning subject. He told her that she was a +tyrant, and that he would never set foot in her house again. It +may seem incredible, but a day or two after, Madame Epanchin sent +a servant with a note begging him to return, and Colia, without +standing on his dignity, did so at once. + +Aglaya was the only one of the family whose good graces he could +not gain, and who always spoke to him haughtily, but it so +happened that the boy one day succeeded in giving the proud +maiden a surprise. + +It was about Easter, when, taking advantage of a momentary tete- +a-tete Colia handed Aglaya a letter, remarking that he "had +orders to deliver it to her privately." She stared at him in +amazement, but he did not wait to hear what she had to say, and +went out. Aglaya broke the seal, and read as follows: + +"Once you did me the honour of giving me your confidence. Perhaps +you have quite forgotten me now! How is it that I am writing to +you? I do not know; but I am conscious of an irresistible desire +to remind you of my existence, especially you. How many times I +have needed all three of you; but only you have dwelt always in +my mind's eye. I need you--I need you very much. I will not write +about myself. I have nothing to tell you. But I long for you to +be happy. ARE you happy? That is all I wished to say to you--Your +brother, + +"PR. L. MUISHKIN." + +On reading this short and disconnected note, Aglaya suddenly +blushed all over, and became very thoughtful. + +It would be difficult to describe her thoughts at that moment. +One of them was, "Shall I show it to anyone?" But she was ashamed +to show it. So she ended by hiding it in her table drawer, with a +very strange, ironical smile upon her lips. + +Next day, she took it out, and put it into a large book, as she +usually did with papers which she wanted to be able to find +easily. She laughed when, about a week later, she happened to +notice the name of the book, and saw that it was Don Quixote, but +it would be difficult to say exactly why. + +I cannot say, either, whether she showed the letter to her +sisters. + +But when she had read it herself once more, it suddenly struck +her that surely that conceited boy, Colia, had not been the one +chosen correspondent of the prince all this while. She determined +to ask him, and did so with an exaggerated show of carelessness. +He informed her haughtily that though he had given the prince his +permanent address when the latter left town, and had offered his +services, the prince had never before given him any commission to +perform, nor had he written until the following lines arrived, +with Aglaya's letter. Aglaya took the note, and read it. + +"DEAR COLIA,--Please be so kind as to give the enclosed +sealed letter to Aglaya Ivanovna. Keep well--Ever your +loving, "PR. L. MUISHKIN." + +"It seems absurd to trust a little pepper-box like you," said +Aglaya, as she returned the note, and walked past the "pepper- +box" with an expression of great contempt. + +This was more than Colia could bear. He had actually borrowed +Gania's new green tie for the occasion, without saying why he +wanted it, in order to impress her. He was very deeply mortified. + +IT was the beginning of June, and for a whole week the weather in +St. Petersburg had been magnificent. The Epanchins had a +luxurious country-house at Pavlofsk, [One of the fashionable +summer resorts near St. Petersburg.] and to this spot Mrs. +Epanchin determined to proceed without further delay. In a couple +of days all was ready, and the family had left town. A day or two +after this removal to Pavlofsk, Prince Muishkin arrived in St. +Petersburg by the morning train from Moscow. No one met him; but, +as he stepped out of the carriage, he suddenly became aware of +two strangely glowing eyes fixed upon him from among the crowd +that met the train. On endeavouring to re-discover the eyes, and +see to whom they belonged, he could find nothing to guide him. It +must have been a hallucination. But the disagreeable impression +remained, and without this, the prince was sad and thoughtful +already, and seemed to be much preoccupied. + +His cab took him to a small and bad hotel near the Litaynaya. +Here he engaged a couple of rooms, dark and badly furnished. He +washed and changed, and hurriedly left the hotel again, as though +anxious to waste no time. Anyone who now saw him for the first +time since he left Petersburg would judge that he had improved +vastly so far as his exterior was concerned. His clothes +certainly were very different; they were more fashionable, +perhaps even too much so, and anyone inclined to mockery might +have found something to smile at in his appearance. But what is +there that people will not smile at? + +The prince took a cab and drove to a street near the Nativity, +where he soon discovered the house he was seeking. It was a small +wooden villa, and he was struck by its attractive and clean +appearance; it stood in a pleasant little garden, full of +flowers. The windows looking on the street were open, and the +sound of a voice, reading aloud or making a speech, came through +them. It rose at times to a shout, and was interrupted +occasionally by bursts of laughter. + +Prince Muishkin entered the court-yard, and ascended the steps. A +cook with her sleeves turned up to the elbows opened the door. +The visitor asked if Mr. Lebedeff were at home. + +"He is in there," said she, pointing to the salon. + +The room had a blue wall-paper, and was well, almost +pretentiously, furnished, with its round table, its divan, and +its bronze clock under a glass shade. There was a narrow pier- +glass against the wall, and a chandelier adorned with lustres +hung by a bronze chain from the ceiling. + +When the prince entered, Lebedeff was standing in the middle of +the room, his back to the door. He was in his shirt-sleeves, on +account of the extreme heat, and he seemed to have just reached +the peroration of his speech, and was impressively beating his +breast. + +His audience consisted of a youth of about fifteen years of age +with a clever face, who had a book in his hand, though he was not +reading; a young lady of twenty, in deep mourning, stood near him +with an infant in her arms; another girl of thirteen, also in +black, was laughing loudly, her mouth wide open; and on the sofa +lay a handsome young man, with black hair and eyes, and a +suspicion of beard and whiskers. He frequently interrupted the +speaker and argued with him, to the great delight of the others. + +"Lukian Timofeyovitch! Lukian Timofeyovitch! Here's someone to +see you! Look here! . . . a gentleman to speak to you! . . . +Well, it's not my fault!" and the cook turned and went away red +with anger. + +Lebedeff started, and at sight of the prince stood like a statue +for a moment. Then he moved up to him with an ingratiating smile, +but stopped short again. + +"Prince! ex-ex-excellency!" he stammered. Then suddenly he ran +towards the girl with the infant, a movement so unexpected by her +that she staggered and fell back, but next moment he was +threatening the other child, who was standing, still laughing, in +the doorway. She screamed, and ran towards the kitchen. Lebedeff +stamped his foot angrily; then, seeing the prince regarding him +with amazement, he murmured apologetically--"Pardon to show +respect! . . . he-he!" + +" You are quite wrong . . ." began the prince. + +"At once . . . at once . . . in one moment!" + +He rushed like a whirlwind from the room, and Muishkin looked +inquiringly at the others. + +They were all laughing, and the guest joined in the chorus. + +"He has gone to get his coat," said the boy. + +"How annoying!" exclaimed the prince. "I thought . . . Tell me, +is he . . ." + +"You think he is drunk?" cried the young man on the sofa. " Not +in the least. He's only had three or four small glasses, +perhaps five; but what is that? The usual thing!" + +As the prince opened his mouth to answer, he was interrupted by +the girl, whose sweet face wore an expression of absolute +frankness. + +"He never drinks much in the morning; if you have come to talk +business with him, do it now. It is the best time. He sometimes +comes back drunk in the evening; but just now he passes the +greater part of the evening in tears, and reads passages of Holy +Scripture aloud, because our mother died five weeks ago." + +"No doubt he ran off because he did not know what to say to you," +said the youth on the divan. "I bet he is trying to cheat you, +and is thinking how best to do it." + +Just then Lebedeff returned, having put on his coat. + +"Five weeks!" said he, wiping his eyes. "Only five weeks! Poor +orphans!" + +"But why wear a coat in holes," asked the girl, "when your new +one is hanging behind the door? Did you not see it?" + +"Hold your tongue, dragon-fly!" he scolded. "What a plague you +are!" He stamped his foot irritably, but she only laughed, and +answered: + +"Are you trying to frighten me? I am not Tania, you know, and I +don't intend to run away. Look, you are waking Lubotchka, and she +will have convulsions again. Why do you shout like that?" + +"Well, well! I won't again," said the master of the house his +anxiety getting the better of his temper. He went up to his +daughter, and looked at the child in her arms, anxiously making +the sign of the cross over her three times. "God bless her! God +bless her!" he cried with emotion. "This little creature is my +daughter Luboff," addressing the prince. "My wife, Helena, died-- +at her birth; and this is my big daughter Vera, in mourning, as +you see; and this, this, oh, this pointing to the young man on +the divan . . . + +"Well, go on! never mind me!" mocked the other. "Don't be +afraid!" + +"Excellency! Have you read that account of the murder of the +Zemarin family, in the newspaper?" cried Lebedeff, all of a +sudden. + +"Yes," said Muishkin, with some surprise. + +"Well, that is the murderer! It is he--in fact--" + +"What do you mean?" asked the visitor. + +"I am speaking allegorically, of course; but he will be the +murderer of a Zemarin family in the future. He is getting ready . +.. ." + +They all laughed, and the thought crossed the prince's mind that +perhaps Lebedeff was really trifling in this way because he +foresaw inconvenient questions, and wanted to gain time. + +"He is a traitor! a conspirator!" shouted Lebedeff, who seemed to +have lost all control over himself. " A monster! a slanderer! +Ought I to treat him as a nephew, the son of my sister Anisia?" + +"Oh! do be quiet! You must be drunk! He has taken it into his +head to play the lawyer, prince, and he practices speechifying, +and is always repeating his eloquent pleadings to his children. +And who do you think was his last client? An old woman who had +been robbed of five hundred roubles, her all, by some rogue of a +usurer, besought him to take up her case, instead of which he +defended the usurer himself, a Jew named Zeidler, because this +Jew promised to give him fifty roubles. . . ." + +"It was to be fifty if I won the case, only five if I lost," +interrupted Lebedeff, speaking in a low tone, a great contrast to +his earlier manner. + +"Well! naturally he came to grief: the law is not administered as +it used to be, and he only got laughed at for his pains. But he +was much pleased with himself in spite of that. 'Most learned +judge!' said he, 'picture this unhappy man, crippled by age and +infirmities, who gains his living by honourable toil--picture him, +I repeat, robbed of his all, of his last mouthful; remember, I +entreat you, the words of that learned legislator, "Let mercy and +justice alike rule the courts of law."' Now, would you believe +it, excellency, every morning he recites this speech to us from +beginning to end, exactly as he spoke it before the magistrate. +To-day we have heard it for the fifth time. He was just starting +again when you arrived, so much does he admire it. He is now +preparing to undertake another case. I think, by the way, that +you are Prince Muishkin? Colia tells me you are the cleverest man +he has ever known. . . ." + +"The cleverest in the world," interrupted his uncle hastily. + +"I do not pay much attention to that opinion," continued the +young man calmly. "Colia is very fond of you, but he," pointing +to Lebedeff, "is flattering you. I can assure you I have no +intention of flattering you, or anyone else, but at least you +have some common-sense. Well, will you judge between us? Shall we +ask the prince to act as arbitrator?" he went on, addressing his +uncle. + +"I am so glad you chanced to come here, prince." + +"I agree," said Lebedeff, firmly, looking round involuntarily at +his daughter, who had come nearer, and was listening attentively +to the conversation. + +"What is it all about?" asked the prince, frowning. His head +ached, and he felt sure that Lebedeff was trying to cheat him in +some way, and only talking to put off the explanation that he had +come for. + +"I will tell you all the story. I am his nephew; he did +speak the truth there, although he is generally telling lies. I +am at the University, and have not yet finished my course. I mean +to do so, and I shall, for I have a determined character. I must, +however, find something to do for the present, and therefore I +have got employment on the railway at twenty-four roubles a +month. I admit that my uncle has helped me once or twice before. +Well, I had twenty roubles in my pocket, and I gambled them away. +Can you believe that I should be so low, so base, as to lose +money in that way?" + +"And the man who won it is a rogue, a rogue whom you ought not to +have paid!" cried Lebedeff. + +"Yes, he is a rogue, but I was obliged to pay him," said the +young man. "As to his being a rogue, he is assuredly that, and I +am not saying it because he beat you. He is an ex-lieutenant, +prince, dismissed from the service, a teacher of boxing, and one +of Rogojin's followers. They are all lounging about the pavements +now that Rogojin has turned them off. Of course, the worst of it +is that, knowing he was a rascal, and a card-sharper, I none the +less played palki with him, and risked my last rouble. To tell +the truth, I thought to myself, 'If I lose, I will go to my +uncle, and I am sure he will not refuse to help me.' Now that was +base-cowardly and base!" + +"That is so," observed Lebedeff quietly; "cowardly and base." + +"Well, wait a bit, before you begin to triumph," said the nephew +viciously; for the words seemed to irritate him. "He is +delighted! I came to him here and told him everything: I acted +honourably, for I did not excuse myself. I spoke most severely of +my conduct, as everyone here can witness. But I must smarten +myself up before I take up my new post, for I am really like a +tramp. Just look at my boots! I cannot possibly appear like this, +and if I am not at the bureau at the time appointed, the job will +be given to someone else; and I shall have to try for another. +Now I only beg for fifteen roubles, and I give my word that I +will never ask him for anything again. I am also ready to promise +to repay my debt in three months' time, and I will keep my word, +even if I have to live on bread and water. My salary will amount +to seventy-five roubles in three months. The sum I now ask, added +to what I have borrowed already, will make a total of about +thirty-five roubles, so you see I shall have enough to pay him +and confound him! if he wants interest, he shall have that, too! +Haven't I always paid back the money he lent me before? Why +should he be so mean now? He grudges my having paid that +lieutenant; there can be no other reason! That's the kind he is-- +a dog in the manger!" + +"And he won't go away!" cried Lebedeff. "He has installed himself +here, and here he remains!" + +"I have told you already, that I will not go away until I have +got what I ask. Why are you smiling, prince? You look as if you +disapproved of me." + +"I am not smiling, but I really think you are in the wrong, +somewhat," replied Muishkin, reluctantly. + +"Don't shuffle! Say plainly that you think that I am quite wrong, +without any 'somewhat'! Why 'somewhat'?" + +"I will say you are quite wrong, if you wish." + +"If I wish! That's good, I must say! Do you think I am deceived +as to the flagrant impropriety of my conduct? I am quite aware +that his money is his own, and that my action -As much like an +attempt at extortion. But you-you don't know what life is! If +people don't learn by experience, they never understand. They +must be taught. My intentions are perfectly honest; on my +conscience he will lose nothing, and I will pay back the money +with interest. Added to which he has had the moral satisfaction +of seeing me disgraced. What does he want more? and what is he +good for if he never helps anyone? Look what he does himself! +just ask him about his dealings with others, how he deceives +people! How did he manage to buy this house? You may cut off my +head if he has not let you in for something-and if he is not +trying to cheat you again. You are smiling. You don't believe +me?" + +"It seems to me that all this has nothing to do with your +affairs," remarked the prince. + +"I have lain here now for three days," cried the young man +without noticing, "and I have seen a lot! Fancy! he suspects his +daughter, that angel, that orphan, my cousin--he suspects her, and +every evening he searches her room, to see if she has a lover +hidden in it! He comes here too on tiptoe, creeping softly--oh, +so softly--and looks under the sofa--my bed, you know. He is mad +with suspicion, and sees a thief in every corner. He runs about +all night long; he was up at least seven times last night, to +satisfy himself that the windows and doors were barred, and to +peep into the oven. That man who appears in court for scoundrels, +rushes in here in the night and prays, lying prostrate, banging +his head on the ground by the half-hour--and for whom do you +think he prays? Who are the sinners figuring in his drunken +petitions? I have heard him with my own ears praying for the +repose of the soul of the Countess du Barry! Colia heard it too. +He is as mad as a March hare!" + +"You hear how he slanders me, prince," said Lebedeff, almost +beside himself with rage. "I may be a drunkard, an evil-doer, a +thief, but at least I can say one thing for myself. He does not +know--how should he, mocker that he is?--that when he came into +the world it was I who washed him, and dressed him in his +swathing-bands, for my sister Anisia had lost her husband, and +was in great poverty. I was very little better off than she, but +I sat up night after night with her, and nursed both mother and +child; I used to go downstairs and steal wood for them from the +house-porter. How often did I sing him to sleep when I was half +dead with hunger! In short, I was more than a father to him, and +now--now he jeers at me! Even if I did cross myself, and pray for +the repose of the soul of the Comtesse du Barry, what does it +matter? Three days ago, for the first time in my life, I read her +biography in an historical dictionary. Do you know who she was? +You there!" addressing his nephew. "Speak! do you know?" + +"Of course no one knows anything about her but you," muttered the +young man in a would-be jeering tone. + +"She was a Countess who rose from shame to reign like a Queen. An +Empress wrote to her, with her own hand, as 'Ma chere cousine.' +At a lever-du-roi one morning (do you know what a lever-du-roi +was?)--a Cardinal, a Papal legate, offered to put on her +stockings; a high and holy person like that looked on it as an +honour! Did you know this? I see by your expression that you did +not! Well, how did she die? Answer!" + +"Oh! do stop--you are too absurd!" + +"This is how she died. After all this honour and glory, after +having been almost a Queen, she was guillotined by that butcher, +Samson. She was quite innocent, but it had to be done, for the +satisfaction of the fishwives of Paris. She was so terrified, +that she did not understand what was happening. But when Samson +seized her head, and pushed her under the knife with his foot, +she cried out: 'Wait a moment! wait a moment, monsieur!' Well, +because of that moment of bitter suffering, perhaps the Saviour +will pardon her other faults, for one cannot imagine a greater +agony. As I read the story my heart bled for her. And what does +it matter to you, little worm, if I implored the Divine mercy for +her, great sinner as she was, as I said my evening prayer? I +might have done it because I doubted if anyone had ever crossed +himself for her sake before. It may be that in the other world +she will rejoice to think that a sinner like herself has cried to +heaven for the salvation of her soul. Why are you laughing? You +believe nothing, atheist! And your story was not even correct! If +you had listened to what I was saying, you would have heard that +I did not only pray for the Comtesse du Barry. I said, 'Oh Lord! +give rest to the soul of that great sinner, the Comtesse du +Barry, and to all unhappy ones like her.' You see that is quite a +different thing, for how many sinners there are, how many women, +who have passed through the trials of this life, are now +suffering and groaning in purgatory! I prayed for you, too, in +spite of your insolence and impudence, also for your fellows, as +it seems that you claim to know how I pray. . ." + +"Oh! that's enough in all conscience! Pray for whom you choose, +and the devil take them and you! We have a scholar here; you did +not know that, prince?" he continued, with a sneer. "He reads all +sorts of books and memoirs now." + +"At any rate, your uncle has a kind heart," remarked the prince, +who really had to force himself to speak to the nephew, so much +did he dislike him. + +"Oh, now you are going to praise him! He will be set up! He puts +his hand on his heart, and he is delighted! I never said he was a +man without heart, but he is a rascal--that's the pity of it. And +then, he is addicted to drink, and his mind is unhinged, like +that of most people who have taken more than is good for them for +years. He loves his children--oh, I know that well enough! He +respected my aunt, his late wife ... and he even has a sort of +affection for me. He has remembered me in his will." + +"I shall leave you nothing!" exclaimed his uncle angrily. + +"Listen to me, Lebedeff," said the prince in a decided voice, +turning his back on the young man. "I know by experience that +when you choose, you can be business-like. . I . I have very +little time to spare, and if you ... By the way--excuse me--what +is your Christian name? I have forgotten it." + +"Ti-Ti-Timofey." + +"And?" + +"Lukianovitch." + +Everyone in the room began to laugh. + +"He is telling lies!" cried the nephew. "Even now he cannot speak +the truth. He is not called Timofey Lukianovitch, prince, but +Lukian Timofeyovitch. Now do tell us why you must needs lie about +it? Lukian or Timofey, it is all the same to you, and what +difference can it make to the prince? He tells lies without the +least necessity, simply by force of habit, I assure you." + +"Is that true?" said the prince impatiently. + +"My name really is Lukian Timofeyovitch," acknowledged Lebedeff, +lowering his eyes, and putting his hand on his heart. + +"Well, for God's sake, what made you say the other?" + +"To humble myself," murmured Lebedeff. + +"What on earth do you mean? Oh I if only I knew where Colia was +at this moment!" cried the prince, standing up, as if to go. + +"I can tell you all about Colia," said the young man + +"Oh! no, no!" said Lebedeff, hurriedly. + +"Colia spent the night here, and this morning went after his +father, whom you let out of prison by paying his debts--Heaven +only knows why! Yesterday the general promised to come and lodge +here, but he did not appear. Most probably he slept at the hotel +close by. No doubt Colia is there, unless he has gone to Pavlofsk +to see the Epanchins. He had a little money, and was intending to +go there yesterday. He must be either at the hotel or at +Pavlofsk." + +"At Pavlofsk! He is at Pavlofsk, undoubtedly!" interrupted +Lebedeff. . . . "But come--let us go into the garden--we will +have coffee there. . . ." And Lebedeff seized the prince's arm, +and led him from the room. They went across the yard, and found +themselves in a delightful little garden with the trees already +in their summer dress of green, thanks to the unusually fine +weather. Lebedeff invited his guest to sit down on a green seat +before a table of the same colour fixed in the earth, and took a +seat facing him. In a few minutes the coffee appeared, and the +prince did not refuse it. The host kept his eyes fixed on +Muishkin, with an expression of passionate servility. + +"I knew nothing about your home before," said the prince +absently, as if he were thinking of something else. + +"Poor orphans," began Lebedeff, his face assuming a mournful air, +but he stopped short, for the other looked at him inattentively, +as if he had already forgotten his own remark. They waited a few +minutes in silence, while Lebedeff sat with his eyes fixed +mournfully on the young man's face. + +"Well!" said the latter, at last rousing himself. "Ah! yes! You +know why I came, Lebedeff. Your letter brought me. Speak! Tell me +all about it." + +The clerk, rather confused, tried to say something, hesitated, +began to speak, and again stopped. The prince looked at him +gravely. + +"I think I understand, Lukian Timofeyovitch: you were not sure +that I should come. You did not think I should start at the first +word from you, and you merely wrote to relieve your conscience. +However, you see now that I have come, and I have had enough of +trickery. Give up serving, or trying to serve, two masters. +Rogojin has been here these three weeks. Have you managed to sell +her to him as you did before? Tell me the truth." + +"He discovered everything, the monster ... himself ......" + +"Don't abuse him; though I dare say you have something to +complain of. . . ." + +"He beat me, he thrashed me unmercifully!" replied Lebedeff +vehemently. "He set a dog on me in Moscow, a bloodhound, a +terrible beast that chased me all down the street." + +"You seem to take me for a child, Lebedeff. Tell me, is it a fact +that she left him while they were in Moscow?" + +"Yes, it is a fact, and this time, let me tell you, on the very +eve of their marriage! It was a question of minutes when she +slipped off to Petersburg. She came to me directly she arrived-- +'Save me, Lukian! find me some refuge, and say nothing to the +prince!' She is afraid of you, even more than she is of him, and +in that she shows her wisdom!" And Lebedeff slily put his finger +to his brow as he said the last words. + +"And now it is you who have brought them together again?" + +"Excellency, how could I, how could I prevent it?" + +"That will do. I can find out for myself. Only tell me, where is +she now? At his house? With him?" + +"Oh no! Certainly not! 'I am free,' she says; you know how she +insists on that point. 'I am entirely free.' She repeats it over +and over again. She is living in Petersburgskaia, with my sister- +in-law, as I told you in my letter." + +"She is there at this moment?" + +"Yes, unless she has gone to Pavlofsk: the fine weather may have +tempted her, perhaps, into the country, with Daria Alexeyevna. 'I +am quite free,' she says. Only yesterday she boasted of her +freedom to Nicolai Ardalionovitch--a bad sign," added Lebedeff, +smiling. + +"Colia goes to see her often, does he not?" + +"He is a strange boy, thoughtless, and inclined to be +indiscreet." + +"Is it long since you saw her?" + +"I go to see her every day, every day." + +"Then you were there yesterday?" + +"N-no: I have not been these three last days." + +"It is a pity you have taken too much wine, Lebedeff I want to +ask you something ... but. . ." + +"All right! all right! I am not drunk," replied the clerk, +preparing to listen. + +"Tell me, how was she when you left her?" + +"She is a woman who is seeking. .. " + +"Seeking?" + +"She seems always to be searching about, as if she had lost +something. The mere idea of her coming marriage disgusts her; she +looks on it as an insult. She cares as much for HIM as for a +piece of orange-peel--not more. Yet I am much mistaken if she +does not look on him with fear and trembling. She forbids his +name to be mentioned before her, and they only meet when +unavoidable. He understands, well enough! But it must be gone +through She is restless, mocking, deceitful, violent...." + +"Deceitful and violent?" + +"Yes, violent. I can give you a proof of it. A few days ago she +tried to pull my hair because I said something that annoyed her. +I tried to soothe her by reading the Apocalypse aloud." + +"What?" exclaimed the prince, thinking he had not heard aright. + +"By reading the Apocalypse. The lady has a restless imagination, +he-he! She has a liking for conversation on serious subjects, of +any kind; in fact they please her so much, that it flatters her +to discuss them. Now for fifteen years at least I have studied +the Apocalypse, and she agrees with me in thinking that the +present is the epoch represented by the third horse, the black +one whose rider holds a measure in his hand. It seems to me that +everything is ruled by measure in our century; all men are +clamouring for their rights; 'a measure of wheat for a penny, and +three measures of barley for a penny.' But, added to this, men +desire freedom of mind and body, a pure heart, a healthy life, +and all God's good gifts. Now by pleading their rights alone, +they will never attain all this, so the white horse, with his +rider Death, comes next, and is followed by Hell. We talked about +this matter when we met, and it impressed her very much." + +"Do you believe all this?" asked Muishkin, looking curiously at +his companion. + +"I both believe it and explain it. I am but a poor creature, a +beggar, an atom in the scale of humanity. Who has the least +respect for Lebedeff? He is a target for all the world, the butt +of any fool who chooses to kick him. But in interpreting +revelation I am the equal of anyone, great as he may be! Such is +the power of the mind and the spirit. I have made a lordly +personage tremble, as he sat in his armchair . . . only by +talking to him of things concerning the spirit. Two years ago, on +Easter Eve, His Excellency Nil Alexeyovitch, whose subordinate I +was then, wished to hear what I had to say, and sent a message by +Peter Zakkaritch to ask me to go to his private room. 'They tell +me you expound the prophecies relating to Antichrist,' said he, +when we were alone. 'Is that so?' ' Yes,' I answered +unhesitatingly, and I began to give some comments on the +Apostle's allegorical vision. At first he smiled, but when we +reached the numerical computations and correspondences, he +trembled, and turned pale. Then he begged me to close the book, +and sent me away, promising to put my name on the reward list. +That took place as I said on the eve of Easter, and eight days +later his soul returned to God." + +"What?" + +"It is the truth. One evening after dinner he stumbled as he +stepped out of his carriage. He fell, and struck his head on the +curb, and died immediately. He was seventy-three years of age, +and had a red face, and white hair; he deluged himself with +scent, and was always smiling like a child. Peter Zakkaritch +recalled my interview with him, and said, 'YOU FORETOLD HIS +DEATH.'" + +The prince rose from his seat, and Lebedeff, surprised to see his +guest preparing to go so soon, remarked: "You are not +interested?" in a respectful tone. + +"I am not very well, and my head aches. Doubtless the effect of +the journey," replied the prince, frowning. + +"You should go into the country," said Lebedeff timidly. + +The prince seemed to be considering the suggestion. + +"You see, I am going into the country myself in three days, with +my children and belongings. The little one is delicate; she needs +change of air; and during our absence this house will be done up. +I am going to Pavlofsk." + +"You are going to Pavlofsk too?" asked the prince sharply. +"Everybody seems to be going there. Have you a house in that +neighbourhood?" + +"I don't know of many people going to Pavlofsk, and as for the +house, Ivan Ptitsin has let me one of his villas rather cheaply. +It is a pleasant place, lying on a hill surrounded by trees, and +one can live there for a mere song. There is good music to be +heard, so no wonder it is popular. I shall stay in the lodge. As +to the villa itself. . " + +"Have you let it?" + +"N-no--not exactly." + +"Let it to me," said the prince. + +Now this was precisely what Lebedeff had made up his mind to do +in the last three minutes. Not that he bad any difficulty in +finding a tenant; in fact the house was occupied at present by a +chance visitor, who had told Lebedeff that he would perhaps take +it for the summer months. The clerk knew very well that this +"PERHAPS" meant "CERTAINLY," but as he thought he could make more +out of a tenant like the prince, he felt justified in speaking +vaguely about the present inhabitant's intentions. "This is quite +a coincidence," thought he, and when the subject of price was +mentioned, he made a gesture with his hand, as if to waive away a +question of so little importance. + +"Oh well, as you like!" said Muishkin. "I will think it over. You +shall lose nothing!" + +They were walking slowly across the garden. + +"But if you ... I could . . ." stammered Lebedeff, "if...if you +please, prince, tell you something on the subject which would +interest you, I am sure." He spoke in wheedling tones, and +wriggled as he walked along. + +Muishkin stopped short. + +"Daria Alexeyevna also has a villa at Pavlofsk." + +"Well?" + +"A certain person is very friendly with her, and intends to visit +her pretty often." + +Well?" + +"Aglaya Ivanovna..." + +"Oh stop, Lebedeff!" interposed Muishkin, feeling as if he had +been touched on an open wound. "That ... that has nothing to do +with me. I should like to know when you are going to start. The +sooner the better as far as I am concerned, for I am at an +hotel." + +They had left the garden now, and were crossing the yard on their +way to the gate. + +"Well, leave your hotel at once and come here; then we can all go +together to Pavlofsk the day after tomorrow." + +"I will think about it," said the prince dreamily, and went off. + +The clerk stood looking after his guest, struck by his sudden +absent-mindedness. He had not even remembered to say goodbye, and +Lebedeff was the more surprised at the omission, as he knew by +experience how courteous the prince usually was. + +III + +It was now close on twelve o'clock. + +The prince knew that if he called at the Epanchins' now he would +only find the general, and that the latter might probably carry +him straight off to Pavlofsk with him; whereas there was one +visit he was most anxious to make without delay. + +So at the risk of missing General Epanchin altogether, and thus +postponing his visit to Pavlofsk for a day, at least, the prince +decided to go and look for the house he desired to find. + +The visit he was about to pay was, in some respects, a risky one. +He was in two minds about it, but knowing that the house was in +the Gorohovaya, not far from the Sadovaya, he determined to go in +that direction, and to try to make up his mind on the way. + +Arrived at the point where the Gorohovaya crosses the Sadovaya, +he was surprised to find how excessively agitated he was. He had +no idea that his heart could beat so painfully. + +One house in the Gorohovaya began to attract his attention long +before he reached it, and the prince remembered afterwards that +he had said to himself: "That is the house, I'm sure of it." He +came up to it quite curious to discover whether he had guessed +right, and felt that he would be disagreeably impressed to find +that he had actually done so. The house was a large gloomy- +looking structure, without the slightest claim to architectural +beauty, in colour a dirty green. There are a few of these old +houses, built towards the end of the last century, still standing +in that part of St. Petersburg, and showing little change from +their original form and colour. They are solidly built, and are +remarkable for the thickness of their walls, and for the fewness +of their windows, many of which are covered by gratings. On the +ground-floor there is usually a money-changer's shop, and the +owner lives over it. Without as well as within, the houses seem +inhospitable and mysterious--an impression which is difficult to +explain, unless it has something to do with the actual +architectural style. These houses are almost exclusively +inhabited by the merchant class. + +Arrived at the gate, the prince looked up at the legend over it, +which ran: + +"House of Rogojin, hereditary and honourable citizen." + +He hesitated no longer; but opened the glazed door at the bottom +of the outer stairs and made his way up to the second storey. The +place was dark and gloomy-looking; the walls of the stone +staircase were painted a dull red. Rogojin and his mother and +brother occupied the whole of the second floor. The servant who +opened the door to Muishkin led him, without taking his name, +through several rooms and up and down many steps until they +arrived at a door, where he knocked. + +Parfen Rogojin opened the door himself. + +On seeing the prince he became deadly white, and apparently fixed +to the ground, so that he was more like a marble statue than a +human being. The prince had expected some surprise, but Rogojin +evidently considered his visit an impossible and miraculous +event. He stared with an expression almost of terror, and his +lips twisted into a bewildered smile. + +"Parfen! perhaps my visit is ill-timed. I-I can go away again if +you like," said Muishkin at last, rather embarrassed. + +"No, no; it's all right, come in," said Parfen, recollecting +himself. + +They were evidently on quite familiar terms. In Moscow they had +had many occasions of meeting; indeed, some few of those meetings +were but too vividly impressed upon their memories. They had not +met now, however, for three months. + +The deathlike pallor, and a sort of slight convulsion about the +lips, had not left Rogojin's face. Though he welcomed his guest, +he was still obviously much disturbed. As he invited the prince +to sit down near the table, the latter happened to turn towards +him, and was startled by the strange expression on his face. A +painful recollection flashed into his mind. He stood for a time, +looking straight at Rogojin, whose eyes seemed to blaze like +fire. At last Rogojin smiled, though he still looked agitated and +shaken. + +"What are you staring at me like that for?" he muttered. "Sit +down." + +The prince took a chair. + +"Parfen," he said, "tell me honestly, did you know that I was +coming to Petersburg or no?" + +"Oh, I supposed you were coming," the other replied, smiling +sarcastically, and I was right in my supposition, you see; but +how was I to know that you would come TODAY?" + +A certain strangeness and impatience in his manner impressed the +prince very forcibly. + +"And if you had known that I was coming today, why be so +irritated about it?" he asked, in quiet surprise. + +"Why did you ask me?" + +"Because when I jumped out of the train this morning, two eyes +glared at me just as yours did a moment since." + +"Ha! and whose eyes may they have been?" said Rogojin, +suspiciously. It seemed to the prince that he was trembling. + +"I don't know; I thought it was a hallucination. I often have +hallucinations nowadays. I feel just as I did five years ago when +my fits were about to come on." + +"Well, perhaps it was a hallucination, I don't know," said +Parfen. + +He tried to give the prince an affectionate smile, and it seemed +to the latter as though in this smile of his something had +broken, and that he could not mend it, try as he would. + +"Shall you go abroad again then?" he asked, and suddenly added, +"Do you remember how we came up in the train from Pskoff +together? You and your cloak and leggings, eh?" + +And Rogojin burst out laughing, this time with unconcealed +malice, as though he were glad that he had been able to find an +opportunity for giving vent to it. + +"Have you quite taken up your quarters here?" asked the prince + +"Yes, I'm at home. Where else should I go to?" + +"We haven't met for some time. Meanwhile I have heard things +about you which I should not have believed to be possible." + +"What of that? People will say anything," said Rogojin drily. + +"At all events, you've disbanded your troop--and you are living in +your own house instead of being fast and loose about the place; +that's all very good. Is this house all yours, or joint +property?" + +"It is my mother's. You get to her apartments by that passage." + +"Where's your brother?" + +"In the other wing." + +"Is he married?" + +"Widower. Why do you want to know all this?" + +The prince looked at him, but said nothing. He had suddenly +relapsed into musing, and had probably not heard the question at +all. Rogojin did not insist upon an answer, and there was silence +for a few moments. + +"I guessed which was your house from a hundred yards off," said +the prince at last. + +"Why so?" + +"I don't quite know. Your house has the aspect of yourself and +all your family; it bears the stamp of the Rogojin life; but ask +me why I think so, and I can tell you nothing. It is nonsense, of +course. I am nervous about this kind of thing troubling me so +much. I had never before imagined what sort of a house you would +live in, and yet no sooner did I set eyes on this one than I said +to myself that it must be yours." + +"Really!" said Rogojin vaguely, not taking in what the prince +meant by his rather obscure remarks. + +The room they were now sitting in was a large one, lofty but +dark, well furnished, principally with writing-tables and desks +covered with papers and books. A wide sofa covered with red +morocco evidently served Rogojin for a bed. On the table beside +which the prince had been invited to seat himself lay some books; +one containing a marker where the reader had left off, was a +volume of Solovieff's History. Some oil-paintings in worn gilded +frames hung on the walls, but it was impossible to make out what +subjects they represented, so blackened were they by smoke and +age. One, a life-sized portrait, attracted the prince's +attention. It showed a man of about fifty, wearing a long riding- +coat of German cut. He had two medals on his breast; his beard +was white, short and thin; his face yellow and wrinkled, with a +sly, suspicious expression in the eyes. + +"That is your father, is it not?" asked the prince. + +"Yes, it is," replied Rogojin with an unpleasant smile, as if he +had expected his guest to ask the question, and then to make some +disagreeable remark. + +"Was he one of the Old Believers?" + +"No, he went to church, but to tell the truth he really preferred +the old religion. This was his study and is now mine. Why did you +ask if he were an Old Believer?" + +"Are you going to be married here?" + +"Ye-yes!" replied Rogojin, starting at the unexpected question. + +"Soon?" + +"You know yourself it does not depend on me." + +"Parfen, I am not your enemy, and I do not intend to oppose your +intentions in any way. I repeat this to you now just as I said it +to you once before on a very similar occasion. When you were +arranging for your projected marriage in Moscow, I did not +interfere with you--you know I did not. That first time she fled +to me from you, from the very altar almost, and begged me to +'save her from you.' Afterwards she ran away from me again, and +you found her and arranged your marriage with her once more; and +now, I hear, she has run away from you and come to Petersburg. +Is it true? Lebedeff wrote me to this effect, and that's why I came +here. That you had once more arranged matters with Nastasia +Philipovna I only learned last night in the train from a friend of +yours, Zaleshoff--if you wish to know. + +"I confess I came here with an object. I wished to persuade +Nastasia to go abroad for her health; she requires it. Both mind +and body need a change badly. I did not intend to take her abroad +myself. I was going to arrange for her to go without me. Now I +tell you honestly, Parfen, if it is true that all is made up +between you, I will not so much as set eyes upon her, and I will +never even come to see you again. + +"You know quite well that I am telling the truth, because I have +always been frank with you. I have never concealed my own opinion +from you. I have always told you that I consider a marriage +between you and her would be ruin to her. You would also be +ruined, and perhaps even more hopelessly. If this marriage were +to be broken off again, I admit I should be greatly pleased; but +at the same time I have not the slightest intention of trying to +part you. You may be quite easy in your mind, and you need not +suspect me. You know yourself whether I was ever really your +rival or not, even when she ran away and came to me. + +"There, you are laughing at me--I know why you laugh. It is +perfectly true that we lived apart from one another all the time, +in different towns. I told you before that I did not love her +with love, but with pity! You said then that you understood me; +did you really understand me or not? What hatred there is in your +eyes at this moment! I came to relieve your mind, because you are +dear to me also. I love you very much, Parfen; and now I shall go +away and never come back again. Goodbye." + +The prince rose. + +"Stay a little," said Parfen, not leaving his chair and resting +his head on his right hand. "I haven't seen you for a long time." + +The prince sat down again. Both were silent for a few moments. + +"When you are not with me I hate you, Lef Nicolaievitch. I have +loathed you every day of these three months since I last saw you. +By heaven I have!" said Rogojin." I could have poisoned you at +any minute. Now, you have been with me but a quarter of an hour, +and all my malice seems to have melted away, and you are as dear +to me as ever. Stay here a little longer." + +"When I am with you you trust me; but as soon as my back is +turned you suspect me," said the prince, smiling, and trying to +hide his emotion. + +"I trust your voice, when I hear you speak. I quite understand +that you and I cannot be put on a level, of course." + +"Why did you add that?--There! Now you are cross again," said +the prince, wondering. + +"We were not asked, you see. We were made different, with +different tastes and feelings, without being consulted. You say +you love her with pity. I have no pity for her. She hates me-- +that's the plain truth of the matter. I dream of her every night, +and always that she is laughing at me with another man. And so +she does laugh at me. She thinks no more of marrying me than if +she were changing her shoe. Would you believe it, I haven't seen +her for five days, and I daren't go near her. She asks me what I +come for, as if she were not content with having disgraced me--" + +"Disgraced you! How?" + +"Just as though you didn't know! Why, she ran away from me, and +went to you. You admitted it yourself, just now." + +"But surely you do not believe that she..." + +"That she did not disgrace me at Moscow with that officer. +Zemtuznikoff? I know for certain she did, after having fixed our +marriage-day herself!" + +"Impossible!" cried the prince. + +"I know it for a fact," replied Rogojin, with conviction. + +"It is not like her, you say? My friend, that's absurd. Perhaps +such an act would horrify her, if she were with you, but it is +quite different where I am concerned. She looks on me as vermin. +Her affair with Keller was simply to make a laughing-stock of me. +You don't know what a fool she made of me in Moscow; and the +money I spent over her! The money! the money!" + +"And you can marry her now, Parfen! What will come of it all?" +said the prince, with dread in his voice. + +Rogojin gazed back gloomily, and with a terrible expression in +his eyes, but said nothing. + +"I haven't been to see her for five days," he repeated, after a +slight pause. "I'm afraid of being turned out. She says she's +still her own mistress, and may turn me off altogether, and go +abroad. She told me this herself," he said, with a peculiar +glance at Muishkin. "I think she often does it merely to frighten +me. She is always laughing at me, for some reason or other; but +at other times she's angry, and won't say a word, and that's what +I'm afraid of. I took her a shawl one day, the like of which she +might never have seen, although she did live in luxury and she +gave it away to her maid, Katia. Sometimes when I can keep away +no longer, I steal past the house on the sly, and once I watched +at the gate till dawn--I thought something was going on--and she +saw me from the window. She asked me what I should do if I found +she had deceived me. I said, 'You know well enough.'" + +"What did she know?" cried the prince. + +"How was I to tell?" replied Rogojin, with an angry laugh. "I did +my best to catch her tripping in Moscow, but did not succeed. +However, I caught hold of her one day, and said: 'You are engaged +to be married into a respectable family, and do you know what +sort of a woman you are? THAT'S the sort of woman you are,' I +said." + +"You told her that?" + +"Yes." + +"Well, go on." + +"She said, 'I wouldn't even have you for a footman now, much less +for a husband.' 'I shan't leave the house,' I said, 'so it +doesn't matter.' 'Then I shall call somebody and have you kicked +out,' she cried. So then I rushed at her, and beat her till she +was bruised all over." + +"Impossible!" cried the prince, aghast. + +"I tell you it's true," said Rogojin quietly, but with eyes +ablaze with passion. + +"Then for a day and a half I neither slept, nor ate, nor drank, +and would not leave her. I knelt at her feet: 'I shall die here,' +I said, 'if you don't forgive me; and if you have me turned out, +I shall drown myself; because, what should I be without you now?' +She was like a madwoman all that day; now she would cry; now she +would threaten me with a knife; now she would abuse me. She +called in Zaleshoff and Keller, and showed me to them, shamed me +in their presence. 'Let's all go to the theatre,' she says, 'and +leave him here if he won't go--it's not my business. They'll give +you some tea, Parfen Semeonovitch, while I am away, for you must +be hungry.' She came back from the theatre alone. 'Those cowards +wouldn't come,' she said. 'They are afraid of you, and tried to +frighten me, too. "He won't go away as he came," they said, +"he'll cut your throat--see if he doesn't." Now, I shall go to my +bedroom, and I shall not even lock my door, just to show you how +much I am afraid of you. You must be shown that once for all. Did +you have tea?' 'No,' I said, 'and I don't intend to.' 'Ha, ha! +you are playing off your pride against your stomach! That sort of +heroism doesn't sit well on you,' she said. + +"With that she did as she had said she would; she went to bed, +and did not lock her door. In the morning she came out. 'Are you +quite mad?' she said, sharply. 'Why, you'll die of hunger like +this.' 'Forgive me,' I said. 'No, I won't, and I won't marry you. +I've said it. Surely you haven't sat in this chair all night +without sleeping?' 'I didn't sleep,' I said. 'H'm! how sensible +of you. And are you going to have no breakfast or dinner today?' +'I told you I wouldn't. Forgive me!' 'You've no idea how +unbecoming this sort of thing is to you,' she said, 'it's like +putting a saddle on a cow's back. Do you think you are +frightening me? My word, what a dreadful thing that you should +sit here and eat no food! How terribly frightened I am!' She +wasn't angry long, and didn't seem to remember my offence at all. +I was surprised, for she is a vindictive, resentful woman--but +then I thought that perhaps she despised me too much to feel any +resentment against me. And that's the truth. + +"She came up to me and said, 'Do you know who the Pope of Rome +is?' 'I've heard of him,' I said. 'I suppose you've read the +Universal History, Parfen Semeonovitch, haven't you?' she asked. +'I've learned nothing at all,' I said. 'Then I'll lend it to you +to read. You must know there was a Roman Pope once, and he was +very angry with a certain Emperor; so the Emperor came and +neither ate nor drank, but knelt before the Pope's palace till he +should be forgiven. And what sort of vows do you think that +Emperor was making during all those days on his knees? Stop, I'll +read it to you!' Then she read me a lot of verses, where it said +that the Emperor spent all the time vowing vengeance against the +Pope. 'You don't mean to say you don't approve of the poem, +Parfen Semeonovitch,' she says. 'All you have read out is perfectly +true,' say I. 'Aha!' says she, 'you admit it's true, do you? And +you are making vows to yourself that if I marry you, you will +remind me of all this, and take it out of me.' 'I don't know,' I +say, 'perhaps I was thinking like that, and perhaps I was not. +I'm not thinking of anything just now.' 'What are your thoughts, +then?' 'I'm thinking that when you rise from your chair and go past me, +I watch you, and follow you with my eyes; if your dress does but +rustle, my heart sinks; if you leave the room, I remember every +little word and action, and what your voice sounded like, and +what you said. I thought of nothing all last night, but sat here +listening to your sleeping breath, and heard you move a little, +twice.' 'And as for your attack upon me,' she says, 'I suppose +you never once thought of THAT?' 'Perhaps I did think of it, and +perhaps not,' I say. And what if I don't either forgive you or +marry, you' 'I tell you I shall go and drown myself.' 'H'm!' she +said, and then relapsed into silence. Then she got angry, and +went out. 'I suppose you'd murder me before you drowned yourself, +though!' she cried as she left the room. + +"An hour later, she came to me again, looking melancholy. 'I will +marry you, Parfen Semeonovitch,' she says, not because I'm +frightened of you, but because it's all the same to me how I ruin +myself. And how can I do it better? Sit down; they'll bring you +some dinner directly. And if I do marry you, I'll be a faithful +wife to you--you need not doubt that.' Then she thought a bit, +and said, 'At all events, you are not a flunkey; at first, I +thought you were no better than a flunkey.' And she arranged the +wedding and fixed the day straight away on the spot. + +"Then, in another week, she had run away again, and came here to +Lebedeff's; and when I found her here, she said to me, 'I'm not +going to renounce you altogether, but I wish to put off the +wedding a bit longer yet--just as long as I like--for I am still +my own mistress; so you may wait, if you like.' That's how the +matter stands between us now. What do you think of all this, Lef +Nicolaievitch?" + +"'What do you think of it yourself?" replied the prince, looking +sadly at Rogojin. + +"As if I can think anything about it! I--" He was about to say +more, but stopped in despair. + +The prince rose again, as if he would leave. + +"At all events, I shall not interfere with you!" he murmured, as +though making answer to some secret thought of his own. + +"I'll tell you what!" cried Rogojin, and his eyes flashed fire. +"I can't understand your yielding her to me like this; I don't +understand it. Have you given up loving her altogether? At first +you suffered badly--I know it--I saw it. Besides, why did you +come post-haste after us? Out of pity, eh? He, he, he!" His mouth +curved in a mocking smile. + +"Do you think I am deceiving you?" asked the prince. + +"No! I trust you--but I can't understand. It seems to me that +your pity is greater than my love." A hungry longing to speak his +mind out seemed to flash in the man's eyes, combined with an +intense anger. + +"Your love is mingled with hatred, and therefore, when your love +passes, there will be the greater misery," said the prince. "I +tell you this, Parfen--" + +"What! that I'll cut her throat, you mean?" + +The prince shuddered. + +"You'll hate her afterwards for all your present love, and for +all the torment you are suffering on her account now. What seems +to me the most extraordinary thing is, that she can again consent +to marry you, after all that has passed between you. When I heard +the news yesterday, I could hardly bring myself to believe it. +Why, she has run twice from you, from the very altar rails, as it +were. She must have some presentiment of evil. What can she want +with you now? Your money? Nonsense! Besides, I should think you +must have made a fairly large hole in your fortune already. +Surely it is not because she is so very anxious to find a +husband? She could find many a one besides yourself. Anyone would +be better than you, because you will murder her, and I feel sure +she must know that but too well by now. Is it because you love +her so passionately? Indeed, that may be it. I have heard that +there are women who want just that kind of love ... but still ..." +The prince paused, reflectively. + +"What are you grinning at my father's portrait again for?" asked +Rogojin, suddenly. He was carefully observing every change in the +expression of the prince's face. + +"I smiled because the idea came into my head that if it were not +for this unhappy passion of yours you might have, and would have, +become just such a man as your father, and that very quickly, +too. You'd have settled down in this house of yours with some +silent and obedient wife. You would have spoken rarely, trusted +no one, heeded no one, and thought of nothing but making money." + +"Laugh away! She said exactly the same, almost word for word, +when she saw my father's portrait. It's remarkable how entirely +you and she are at one now-a-days." + +"What, has she been here?" asked the prince with curiosity. + +"Yes! She looked long at the portrait and asked all about my +father. 'You'd be just such another,' she said at last, and +laughed. 'You have such strong passions, Parfen,' she said, 'that +they'd have taken you to Siberia in no time if you had not, +luckily, intelligence as well. For you have a good deal of +intelligence.' (She said this--believe it or not. The first time +I ever heard anything of that sort from her.) 'You'd soon have +thrown up all this rowdyism that you indulge in now, and you'd +have settled down to quiet, steady money-making, because you have +little education; and here you'd have stayed just like your +father before you. And you'd have loved your money so that you'd +amass not two million, like him, but ten million; and you'd +have died of hunger on your money bags to finish up with, for you +carry everything to extremes.' There, that's exactly word for +word as she said it to me. She never talked to me like that +before. She always talks nonsense and laughs when she's with me. +We went all over this old house together. 'I shall change all +this,' I said, 'or else I'll buy a new house for the wedding.' +'No, no!' she said, 'don't touch anything; leave it all as it is; +I shall live with your mother when I marry you.' + +"I took her to see my mother, and she was as respectful and kind +as though she were her own daughter. Mother has been almost +demented ever since father died--she's an old woman. She sits and +bows from her chair to everyone she sees. If you left her alone +and didn't feed her for three days, I don't believe she would +notice it. Well, I took her hand, and I said, 'Give your blessing +to this lady, mother, she's going to be my wife.' So Nastasia +kissed mother's hand with great feeling. 'She must have suffered +terribly, hasn't she?' she said. She saw this book here lying +before me. 'What! have you begun to read Russian history?' she +asked. She told me once in Moscow, you know, that I had better +get Solovieff's Russian History and read it, because I knew +nothing. 'That's good,' she said, 'you go on like that, reading +books. I'll make you a list myself of the books you ought to read +first--shall I?' She had never once spoken to me like this +before; it was the first time I felt I could breathe before her +like a living creature." + +"I'm very, very glad to hear of this, Parfen," said the prince, +with real feeling. "Who knows? Maybe God will yet bring you near +to one another." + +"Never, never!" cried Rogojin, excitedly. + +"Look here, Parfen; if you love her so much, surely you must be +anxious to earn her respect? And if you do so wish, surely you +may hope to? I said just now that I considered it extraordinary +that she could still be ready to marry you. Well, though I cannot +yet understand it, I feel sure she must have some good reason, or +she wouldn't do it. She is sure of your love; but besides that, +she must attribute SOMETHING else to you--some good qualities, +otherwise the thing would not be. What you have just said +confirms my words. You say yourself that she found it possible to +speak to you quite differently from her usual manner. You are +suspicious, you know, and jealous, therefore when anything +annoying happens to you, you exaggerate its significance. Of +course, of course, she does not think so ill of you as you say. +Why, if she did, she would simply be walking to death by drowning +or by the knife, with her eyes wide open, when she married you. +It is impossible! As if anybody would go to their death +deliberately!" + +Rogojin listened to the prince's excited words with a bitter +smile. His conviction was, apparently, unalterable. + +"How dreadfully you look at me, Parfen!" said the prince, with a +feeling of dread. + +"Water or the knife?" said the latter, at last. "Ha, ha--that's +exactly why she is going to marry me, because she knows for +certain that the knife awaits her. Prince, can it be that you +don't even yet see what's at the root of it all?" + +"I don't understand you." + +"Perhaps he really doesn't understand me! They do say that you +are a--you know what! She loves another--there, you can +understand that much! Just as I love her, exactly so she loves +another man. And that other man is--do you know who? It's you. +There--you didn't know that, eh?" + +"I?" + +"You, you! She has loved you ever since that day, her birthday! +Only she thinks she cannot marry you, because it would be the +ruin of you. 'Everybody knows what sort of a woman I am,' she +says. She told me all this herself, to my very face! She's afraid +of disgracing and ruining you, she says, but it doesn't matter +about me. She can marry me all right! Notice how much +consideration she shows for me!" + +"But why did she run away to me, and then again from me to--" + +"From you to me? Ha, ha! that's nothing! Why, she always acts as +though she were in a delirium now-a-days! Either she says, 'Come +on, I'll marry you! Let's have the wedding quickly!' and fixes +the day, and seems in a hurry for it, and when it begins to come +near she feels frightened; or else some other idea gets into her +head--goodness knows! you've seen her--you know how she goes on-- +laughing and crying and raving! There's nothing extraordinary +about her having run away from you! She ran away because she +found out how dearly she loved you. She could not bear to be near +you. You said just now that I had found her at Moscow, when she +ran away from you. I didn't do anything of the sort; she came to +me herself, straight from you. 'Name the day--I'm ready!' she +said. 'Let's have some champagne, and go and hear the gipsies +sing!' I tell you she'd have thrown herself into the water long +ago if it were not for me! She doesn't do it because I am, +perhaps, even more dreadful to her than the water! She's marrying +me out of spite; if she marries me, I tell you, it will be for +spite!" + +"But how do you, how can you--" began the prince, gazing with +dread and horror at Rogojin. + +"Why don't you finish your sentence? Shall I tell you what you +were thinking to yourself just then? You were thinking, 'How can +she marry him after this? How can it possibly be permitted?' Oh, +I know what you were thinking about!" + +"I didn't come here for that purpose, Parfen. That was not in my +mind--" + +"That may be! Perhaps you didn't COME with the idea, but the idea +is certainly there NOW! Ha, ha! well, that's enough! What are you +upset about? Didn't you really know it all before? You astonish +me!" + +"All this is mere jealousy--it is some malady of yours, Parfen! +You exaggerate everything," said the prince, excessively +agitated. "What are you doing?" + +"Let go of it!" said Parfen, seizing from the prince's hand a +knife which the latter had at that moment taken up from the +table, where it lay beside the history. Parfen replaced it where +it had been. + +"I seemed to know it--I felt it, when I was coming back to +Petersburg," continued the prince, "I did not want to come, I +wished to forget all this, to uproot it from my memory +altogether! Well, good-bye--what is the matter?" + +He had absently taken up the knife a second time, and again +Rogojin snatched it from his hand, and threw it down on the +table. It was a plainlooking knife, with a bone handle, a blade +about eight inches long, and broad in proportion, it did not +clasp. + +Seeing that the prince was considerably struck by the fact that +he had twice seized this knife out of his hand, Rogojin caught it +up with some irritation, put it inside the book, and threw the +latter across to another table. + +"Do you cut your pages with it, or what?" asked Muishkin, still +rather absently, as though unable to throw off a deep +preoccupation into which the conversation had thrown him. + +"Yes." + +"It's a garden knife, isn't it?" + +"Yes. Can't one cut pages with a garden knife?" + +"It's quite new." + +"Well, what of that? Can't I buy a new knife if I like?" shouted +Rogojin furiously, his irritation growing with every word. + +The prince shuddered, and gazed fixedly at Parfen. Suddenly he +burst out laughing. + +"Why, what an idea!" he said. "I didn't mean to ask you any of +these questions; I was thinking of something quite different! But +my head is heavy, and I seem so absent-minded nowadays! Well, +good-bye--I can't remember what I wanted to say--good-bye!" + +"Not that way," said Rogojin. + +"There, I've forgotten that too!" + +"This way--come along--I'll show you." + +IV. + +THEY passed through the same rooms which the prince had traversed +on his arrival. In the largest there were pictures on the walls, +portraits and landscapes of little interest. Over the door, +however, there was one of strange and rather striking shape; it +was six or seven feet in length, and not more than a foot in +height. It represented the Saviour just taken from the cross. + +The prince glanced at it, but took no further notice. He moved on +hastily, as though anxious to get out of the house. But Rogojin +suddenly stopped underneath the picture. + +"My father picked up all these pictures very cheap at auctions, +and so on," he said; "they are all rubbish, except the one over +the door, and that is valuable. A man offered five hundred +roubles for it last week." + +"Yes--that's a copy of a Holbein," said the prince, looking at it +again, "and a good copy, too, so far as I am able to judge. I saw +the picture abroad, and could not forget it--what's the matter?" + +Rogojin had dropped the subject of the picture and walked on. Of +course his strange frame of mind was sufficient to account for +his conduct; but, still, it seemed queer to the prince that he +should so abruptly drop a conversation commenced by himself. +Rogojin did not take any notice of his question. + +"Lef Nicolaievitch," said Rogojin, after a pause, during which +the two walked along a little further, "I have long wished to ask +you, do you believe in God?" + +"How strangely you speak, and how odd you look!" said the other, +involuntarily. + +"I like looking at that picture," muttered Rogojin, not noticing, +apparently, that the prince had not answered his question. + +"That picture! That picture!" cried Muishkin, struck by a sudden +idea. "Why, a man's faith might be ruined by looking at that +picture!" + +"So it is!" said Rogojin, unexpectedly. They had now reached the +front door. + +The prince stopped. + +"How?" he said. "What do you mean? I was half joking, and you +took me up quite seriously! Why do you ask me whether I believe +in God + +"Oh, no particular reason. I meant to ask you before--many people +are unbelievers nowadays, especially Russians, I have been told. +You ought to know--you've lived abroad." + +Rogojin laughed bitterly as he said these words, and opening the +door, held it for the prince to pass out. Muishkin looked +surprised, but went out. The other followed him as far as the +landing of the outer stairs, and shut the door behind him. They +both now stood facing one another, as though oblivious of where +they were, or what they had to do next. + +"Well, good-bye!" said the prince, holding out his hand. + +"Good-bye," said Rogojin, pressing it hard, but quite +mechanically. + +The prince made one step forward, and then turned round. + +"As to faith," he said, smiling, and evidently unwilling to leave +Rogojin in this state--"as to faith, I had four curious +conversations in two days, a week or so ago. One morning I met a +man in the train, and made acquaintance with him at once. I had +often heard of him as a very learned man, but an atheist; and I +was very glad of the opportunity of conversing with so eminent +and clever a person. He doesn't believe in God, and he talked a +good deal about it, but all the while it appeared to me that he +was speaking OUTSIDE THE SUBJECT. And it has always struck me, +both in speaking to such men and in reading their books, that +they do not seem really to be touching on that at all, though on +the surface they may appear to do so. I told him this, but I dare +say I did not clearly express what I meant, for he could not +understand me. + +"That same evening I stopped at a small provincial hotel, and it +so happened that a dreadful murder had been committed there the +night before, and everybody was talking about it. Two peasants-- +elderly men and old friends--had had tea together there the night +before, and were to occupy the same bedroom. They were not drunk +but one of them had noticed for the first time that his friend +possessed a silver watch which he was wearing on a chain. He was +by no means a thief, and was, as peasants go, a rich man; but +this watch so fascinated him that he could not restrain himself. +He took a knife, and when his friend turned his back, he came up +softly behind, raised his eyes to heaven, crossed himself, and +saying earnestly--'God forgive me, for Christ's sake!' he cut his +friend's throat like a sheep, and took the watch." + +Rogojin roared with laughter. He laughed as though he were in a +sort of fit. It was strange to see him laughing so after the +sombre mood he had been in just before. + +"Oh, I like that! That beats anything!" he cried convulsively, +panting for breath. "One is an absolute unbeliever; the other is +such a thorough--going believer that he murders his friend to the +tune of a prayer! Oh, prince, prince, that's too good for +anything! You can't have invented it. It's the best thing I've +heard!" + +"Next morning I went out for a stroll through the town," +continued the prince, so soon as Rogojin was a little quieter, +though his laughter still burst out at intervals, "and soon +observed a drunken-looking soldier staggering about the pavement. +He came up to me and said, 'Buy my silver cross, sir! You shall +have it for fourpence--it's real silver.' I looked, and there he +held a cross, just taken off his own neck, evidently, a large tin +one, made after the Byzantine pattern. I fished out fourpence, +and put his cross on my own neck, and I could see by his face +that he was as pleased as he could be at the thought that he had +succeeded in cheating a foolish gentleman, and away he went to +drink the value of his cross. At that time everything that I saw +made a tremendous impression upon me. I had understood nothing +about Russia before, and had only vague and fantastic memories of +it. So I thought, 'I will wait awhile before I condemn this +Judas. Only God knows what may be hidden in the hearts of +drunkards.' + +"Well, I went homewards, and near the hotel I came across a poor +woman, carrying a child--a baby of some six weeks old. The mother +was quite a girl herself. The baby was smiling up at her, for the +first time in its life, just at that moment; and while I watched +the woman she suddenly crossed herself, oh, so devoutly! 'What is +it, my good woman I asked her. (I was never but asking questions +then!) Exactly as is a mother's joy when her baby smiles for the +first time into her eyes, so is God's joy when one of His +children turns and prays to Him for the first time, with all his +heart!' This is what that poor woman said to me, almost word for +word; and such a deep, refined, truly religious thought it was--a +thought in which the whole essence of Christianity was expressed +in one flash--that is, the recognition of God as our Father, and +of God's joy in men as His own children, which is the chief idea +of Christ. She was a simple country-woman--a mother, it's true-- +and perhaps, who knows, she may have been the wife of the drunken +soldier! + +"Listen, Parfen; you put a question to me just now. This is my +reply. The essence of religious feeling has nothing to do with +reason, or atheism, or crime, or acts of any kind--it has nothing +to do with these things--and never had. There is something besides +all this, something which the arguments of the atheists can never +touch. But the principal thing, and the conclusion of my +argument, is that this is most clearly seen in the heart of a +Russian. This is a conviction which I have gained while I have +been in this Russia of ours. Yes, Parfen! there is work to be +done; there is work to be done in this Russian world! Remember +what talks we used to have in Moscow! And I never wished to come +here at all; and I never thought to meet you like this, Parfen! +Well, well--good-bye--good-bye! God be with you!" + +He turned and went downstairs. + +"Lef Nicolaievitch!" cried Parfen, before he had reached the next +landing. "Have you got that cross you bought from the soldier +with you?" + +"Yes, I have," and the prince stopped again. + +"Show it me, will you?" + +A new fancy! The prince reflected, and then mounted the stairs +once more. He pulled out the cross without taking it off his +neck. + +"Give it to me," said Parfen. + +"Why? do you--" + +The prince would rather have kept this particular cross. + +"I'll wear it; and you shall have mine. I'll take it off at +once." + +"You wish to exchange crosses? Very well, Parfen, if that's the +case, I'm glad enough--that makes us brothers, you know." + +The prince took off his tin cross, Parfen his gold one, and the +exchange was made. + +Parfen was silent. With sad surprise the prince observed that the +look of distrust, the bitter, ironical smile, had still not +altogether left his newly-adopted brother's face. At moments, at +all events, it showed itself but too plainly, + +At last Rogojin took the prince's hand, and stood so for some +moments, as though he could not make up his mind. Then he drew +him along, murmuring almost inaudibly, + +"Come!" + +They stopped on the landing, and rang the bell at a door opposite +to Parfen's own lodging. + +An old woman opened to them and bowed low to Parfen, who asked +her some questions hurriedly, but did not wait to hear her +answer. He led the prince on through several dark, cold-looking +rooms, spotlessly clean, with white covers over all the +furniture. + +Without the ceremony of knocking, Parfen entered a small +apartment, furnished like a drawing-room, but with a polished +mahogany partition dividing one half of it from what was probably +a bedroom. In one corner of this room sat an old woman in an arm- +chair, close to the stove. She did not look very old, and her +face was a pleasant, round one; but she was white-haired and, as +one could detect at the first glance, quite in her second +childhood. She wore a black woollen dress, with a black +handkerchief round her neck and shoulders, and a white cap with +black ribbons. Her feet were raised on a footstool. Beside her +sat another old woman, also dressed in mourning, and silently +knitting a stocking; this was evidently a companion. They both +looked as though they never broke the silence. The first old +woman, so soon as she saw Rogojin and the prince, smiled and +bowed courteously several times, in token of her gratification at +their visit. + +"Mother," said Rogojin, kissing her hand, "here is my great +friend, Prince Muishkin; we have exchanged crosses; he was like a +real brother to me at Moscow at one time, and did a great deal +for me. Bless him, mother, as you would bless your own son. Wait +a moment, let me arrange your hands for you." + +But the old lady, before Parfen had time to touch her, raised her +right hand, and, with three fingers held up, devoutly made the +sign of the cross three times over the prince. She then nodded +her head kindly at him once more. + +"There, come along, Lef Nicolaievitch; that's all I brought you +here for," said Rogojin. + +When they reached the stairs again he added: + +"She understood nothing of what I said to her, and did not know +what I wanted her to do, and yet she blessed you; that shows she +wished to do so herself. Well, goodbye; it's time you went, and I +must go too." + +He opened his own door. + +"Well, let me at least embrace you and say goodbye, you strange +fellow!" cried the prince, looking with gentle reproach at +Rogojin, and advancing towards him. But the latter had hardly +raised his arms when he dropped them again. He could not make up +his mind to it; he turned away from the prince in order to avoid +looking at him. He could not embrace him. + +"Don't be afraid," he muttered, indistinctly, "though I have +taken your cross, I shall not murder you for your watch." So +saying, he laughed suddenly, and strangely. Then in a moment his +face became transfigured; he grew deadly white, his lips +trembled, his eves burned like fire. He stretched out his arms +and held the prince tightly to him, and said in a strangled +voice: + +"Well, take her! It's Fate! She's yours. I surrender her.... +Remember Rogojin!" And pushing the prince from him, without +looking back at him, he hurriedly entered his own flat, and +banged the door. + +V. + +IT was late now, nearly half-past two, and the prince did not +find General Epanchin at home. He left a card, and determined to +look up Colia, who had a room at a small hotel near. Colia was +not in, but he was informed that he might be back shortly, and +had left word that if he were not in by half-past three it was to +be understood that he had gone to Pavlofsk to General Epanchin's, +and would dine there. The prince decided to wait till half-past +three, and ordered some dinner. At half-past three there was no +sign of Colia. The prince waited until four o'clock, and then +strolled off mechanically wherever his feet should carry him. + +In early summer there are often magnificent days in St. +Petersburg--bright, hot and still. This happened to be such a day. + +For some time the prince wandered about without aim or object. He +did not know the town well. He stopped to look about him on +bridges, at street corners. He entered a confectioner's shop to +rest, once. He was in a state of nervous excitement and +perturbation; he noticed nothing and no one; and he felt a +craving for solitude, to be alone with his thoughts and his +emotions, and to give himself up to them passively. He loathed +the idea of trying to answer the questions that would rise up in +his heart and mind. "I am not to blame for all this," he thought +to himself, half unconsciously. + +Towards six o'clock he found himself at the station of the +Tsarsko-Selski railway. + +He was tired of solitude now; a new rush of feeling took hold of +him, and a flood of light chased away the gloom, for a moment, +from his soul. He took a ticket to Pavlofsk, and determined to +get there as fast as he could, but something stopped him; a +reality, and not a fantasy, as he was inclined to think it. He +was about to take his place in a carriage, when he suddenly threw +away his ticket and came out again, disturbed and thoughtful. A +few moments later, in the street, he recalled something that had +bothered him all the afternoon. He caught himself engaged in a +strange occupation which he now recollected he had taken up at +odd moments for the last few hours--it was looking about all +around him for something, he did not know what. He had forgotten +it for a while, half an hour or so, and now, suddenly, the uneasy +search had recommenced. + +But he had hardly become conscious of this curious phenomenon, +when another recollection suddenly swam through his brain, +interesting him for the moment, exceedingly. He remembered that +the last time he had been engaged in looking around him for the +unknown something, he was standing before a cutler's shop, in the +window of which were exposed certain goods for sale. He was +extremely anxious now to discover whether this shop and these +goods really existed, or whether the whole thing had been a +hallucination. + +He felt in a very curious condition today, a condition similar +to that which had preceded his fits in bygone years. + +He remembered that at such times he had been particularly +absentminded, and could not discriminate between objects and +persons unless he concentrated special attention upon them. + +He remembered seeing something in the window marked at sixty +copecks. Therefore, if the shop existed and if this object were +really in the window, it would prove that he had been able to +concentrate his attention on this article at a moment when, as a +general rule, his absence of mind would have been too great to +admit of any such concentration; in fact, very shortly after he +had left the railway station in such a state of agitation. + +So he walked back looking about him for the shop, and his heart +beat with intolerable impatience. Ah! here was the very shop, and +there was the article marked 60 cop." "Of course, it's sixty +copecks," he thought, and certainly worth no more." This idea +amused him and he laughed. + +But it was a hysterical laugh; he was feeling terribly oppressed. +He remembered clearly that just here, standing before this +window, he had suddenly turned round, just as earlier in the day +he had turned and found the dreadful eyes of Rogojin fixed upon +him. Convinced, therefore, that in this respect at all events he +had been under no delusion, he left the shop and went on. + +This must be thought out; it was clear that there had been no +hallucination at the station then, either; something had actually +happened to him, on both occasions; there was no doubt of it. But +again a loathing for all mental exertion overmastered him; he +would not think it out now, he would put it off and think of +something else. He remembered that during his epileptic fits, or +rather immediately preceding them, he had always experienced a +moment or two when his whole heart, and mind, and body seemed to +wake up to vigour and light; when he became filled with joy and +hope, and all his anxieties seemed to be swept away for ever; +these moments were but presentiments, as it were, of the one +final second (it was never more than a second) in which the fit +came upon him. That second, of course, was inexpressible. When +his attack was over, and the prince reflected on his symptoms, he +used to say to himself: "These moments, short as they are, when I +feel such extreme consciousness of myself, and consequently more +of life than at other times, are due only to the disease--to the +sudden rupture of normal conditions. Therefore they are not +really a higher kind of life, but a lower." This reasoning, +however, seemed to end in a paradox, and lead to the further +consideration:--"What matter though it be only disease, an +abnormal tension of the brain, if when I recall and analyze the +moment, it seems to have been one of harmony and beauty in the +highest degree--an instant of deepest sensation, overflowing with +unbounded joy and rapture, ecstatic devotion, and completest +life?" Vague though this sounds, it was perfectly comprehensible +to Muishkin, though he knew that it was but a feeble expression +of his sensations. + +That there was, indeed, beauty and harmony in those abnormal +moments, that they really contained the highest synthesis of +life, he could not doubt, nor even admit the possibility of +doubt. He felt that they were not analogous to the fantastic and +unreal dreams due to intoxication by hashish, opium or wine. Of +that he could judge, when the attack was over. These instants +were characterized--to define it in a word--by an intense +quickening of the sense of personality. Since, in the last +conscious moment preceding the attack, he could say to himself, +with full understanding of his words: "I would give my whole life +for this one instant," then doubtless to him it really was worth +a lifetime. For the rest, he thought the dialectical part of his +argument of little worth; he saw only too clearly that the result +of these ecstatic moments was stupefaction, mental darkness, +idiocy. No argument was possible on that point. His conclusion, +his estimate of the "moment," doubtless contained some error, yet +the reality of the sensation troubled him. What's more unanswerable +than a fact? And this fact had occurred. The prince had confessed +unreservedly to himself that the feeling of intense beatitude in +that crowded moment made the moment worth a lifetime. "I feel +then," he said one day to Rogojin in Moscow, "I feel then as if I +understood those amazing words--'There shall be no more time.'" +And he added with a smile: "No doubt the epileptic Mahomet refers +to that same moment when he says that he visited all the +dwellings of Allah, in less time than was needed to empty his +pitcher of water." Yes, he had often met Rogojin in Moscow, and +many were the subjects they discussed. "He told me I had been a +brother to him," thought the prince. "He said so today, for the +first time." + +He was sitting in the Summer Garden on a seat under a tree, and +his mind dwelt on the matter. It was about seven o'clock, and the +place was empty. The stifling atmosphere foretold a storm, and +the prince felt a certain charm in the contemplative mood which +possessed him. He found pleasure, too, in gazing at the exterior +objects around him. All the time he was trying to forget some +thing, to escape from some idea that haunted him; but melancholy +thoughts came back, though he would so willingly have escaped +from them. He remembered suddenly how he had been talking to the +waiter, while he dined, about a recently committed murder which +the whole town was discussing, and as he thought of it something +strange came over him. He was seized all at once by a violent +desire, almost a temptation, against which he strove in vain. + +He jumped up and walked off as fast as he could towards the +"Petersburg Side." [One of the quarters of St. Petersburg.] He +had asked someone, a little while before, to show him which was +the Petersburg Side, on the banks of the Neva. He had not gone +there, however; and he knew very well that it was of no use to go +now, for he would certainly not find Lebedeff's relation at home. +He had the address, but she must certainly have gone to Pavlofsk, +or Colia would have let him know. If he were to go now, it would +merely be out of curiosity, but a sudden, new idea had come into +his head. + +However, it was something to move on and know where he was going. +A minute later he was still moving on, but without knowing +anything. He could no longer think out his new idea. He tried to +take an interest in all he saw; in the sky, in the Neva. He spoke +to some children he met. He felt his epileptic condition becoming +more and more developed. The evening was very close; thunder was +heard some way off. + +The prince was haunted all that day by the face of Lebedeff's +nephew whom he had seen for the first time that morning, just as +one is haunted at times by some persistent musical refrain. By a +curious association of ideas, the young man always appeared as +the murderer of whom Lebedeff had spoken when introducing him to +Muishkin. Yes, he had read something about the murder, and that +quite recently. Since he came to Russia, he had heard many +stories of this kind, and was interested in them. His +conversation with the waiter, an hour ago, chanced to be on the +subject of this murder of the Zemarins, and the latter had agreed +with him about it. He thought of the waiter again, and decided +that he was no fool, but a steady, intelligent man: though, said +he to himself, "God knows what he may really be; in a country +with which one is unfamiliar it is difficult to understand the +people one meets." He was beginning to have a passionate faith in +the Russian soul, however, and what discoveries he had made in +the last six months, what unexpected discoveries! But every soul +is a mystery, and depths of mystery lie in the soul of a Russian. +He had been intimate with Rogojin, for example, and a brotherly +friendship had sprung up between them--yet did he really know +him? What chaos and ugliness fills the world at times! What a +self-satisfied rascal is that nephew of Lebedeff's! "But what am +I thinking," continued the prince to himself. "Can he really have +committed that crime? Did he kill those six persons? I seem to be +confusing things ... how strange it all is.... My head goes +round... And Lebedeff's daughter--how sympathetic and +charming her face was as she held the child in her arms! What an +innocent look and child-like laugh she had! It is curious that I +had forgotten her until now. I expect Lebedeff adores her--and I +really believe, when I think of it, that as sure as two and two +make four, he is fond of that nephew, too!" + +Well, why should he judge them so hastily! Could he really say +what they were, after one short visit? Even Lebedeff seemed an +enigma today. Did he expect to find him so? He had never seen him +like that before. Lebedeff and the Comtesse du Barry! Good +Heavens! If Rogojin should really kill someone, it would not, at +any rate, be such a senseless, chaotic affair. A knife made to a +special pattern, and six people killed in a kind of delirium. But +Rogojin also had a knife made to a special pattern. Can it be that +Rogojin wishes to murder anyone? The prince began to tremble +violently. "It is a crime on my part to imagine anything so base, +with such cynical frankness." His face reddened with shame at the +thought; and then there came across him as in a flash the memory +of the incidents at the Pavlofsk station, and at the other +station in the morning; and the question asked him by Rogojin +about THE EYES and Rogojin's cross, that he was even now wearing; +and the benediction of Rogojin's mother; and his embrace on the +darkened staircase--that last supreme renunciation--and now, to +find himself full of this new "idea," staring into shop-windows, +and looking round for things--how base he was! + +Despair overmastered his soul; he would not go on, he would go +back to his hotel; he even turned and went the other way; but a +moment after he changed his mind again and went on in the old +direction. + +Why, here he was on the Petersburg Side already, quite close to +the house! Where was his "idea"? He was marching along without it +now. Yes, his malady was coming back, it was clear enough; all +this gloom and heaviness, all these "ideas," were nothing more +nor less than a fit coming on; perhaps he would have a fit this +very day. + +But just now all the gloom and darkness had fled, his heart felt +full of joy and hope, there was no such thing as doubt. And yes, +he hadn't seen her for so long; he really must see her. He wished +he could meet Rogojin; he would take his hand, and they would go +to her together. His heart was pure, he was no rival of Parfen's. +Tomorrow, he would go and tell him that he had seen her. Why, he +had only come for the sole purpose of seeing her, all the way +from Moscow! Perhaps she might be here still, who knows? She +might not have gone away to Pavlofsk yet. + +Yes, all this must be put straight and above-board, there must be +no more passionate renouncements, such as Rogojin's. It must all +be clear as day. Cannot Rogojin's soul bear the light? He said he +did not love her with sympathy and pity; true, he added that +"your pity is greater than my love," but he was not quite fair on +himself there. Kin! Rogojin reading a book--wasn't that sympathy +beginning? Did it not show that he comprehended his relations +with her? And his story of waiting day and night for her +forgiveness? That didn't look quite like passion alone. + +And as to her face, could it inspire nothing but passion? Could +her face inspire passion at all now? Oh, it inspired suffering, +grief, overwhelming grief of the soul! A poignant, agonizing +memory swept over the prince's heart. + +Yes, agonizing. He remembered how he had suffered that first day +when he thought he observed in her the symptoms of madness. He +had almost fallen into despair. How could he have lost his hold +upon her when she ran away from him to Rogojin? He ought to have +run after her himself, rather than wait for news as he had done. +Can Rogojin have failed to observe, up to now, that she is mad? +Rogojin attributes her strangeness to other causes, to passion! +What insane jealousy! What was it he had hinted at in that +suggestion of his? The prince suddenly blushed, and shuddered to +his very heart. + +But why recall all this? There was insanity on both sides. For +him, the prince, to love this woman with passion, was +unthinkable. It would be cruel and inhuman. Yes. Rogojin is not +fair to himself; he has a large heart; he has aptitude for +sympathy. When he learns the truth, and finds what a pitiable +being is this injured, broken, half-insane creature, he will +forgive her all the torment she has caused him. He will become +her slave, her brother, her friend. Compassion will teach even +Rogojin, it will show him how to reason. Compassion is the chief +law of human existence. Oh, how guilty he felt towards Rogojin! +And, for a few warm, hasty words spoken in Moscow, Parfen had +called him "brother," while he--but no, this was delirium! It +would all come right! That gloomy Parfen had implied that his +faith was waning; he must suffer dreadfully. He said he liked to +look at that picture; it was not that he liked it, but he felt +the need of looking at it. Rogojin was not merely a passionate +soul; he was a fighter. He was fighting for the restoration of +his dying faith. He must have something to hold on to and +believe, and someone to believe in. What a strange picture that +of Holbein's is! Why, this is the street, and here's the house, +No. 16. + +The prince rang the bell, and asked for Nastasia Philipovna. The +lady of the house came out, and stated that Nastasia had gone to +stay with Daria Alexeyevna at Pavlofsk, and might be there some +days. + +Madame Filisoff was a little woman of forty, with a cunning face, +and crafty, piercing eyes. When, with an air of mystery, she +asked her visitor's name, he refused at first to answer, but in a +moment he changed his mind, and left strict instructions that it +should be given to Nastasia Philipovna. The urgency of his +request seemed to impress Madame Filisoff, and she put on a +knowing expression, as if to say, "You need not be afraid, I +quite understand." The prince's name evidently was a great +surprise to her. He stood and looked absently at her for a +moment, then turned, and took the road back to his hotel. But he +went away not as he came. A great change had suddenly come over +him. He went blindly forward; his knees shook under him; he was +tormented by "ideas"; his lips were blue, and trembled with a +feeble, meaningless smile. His demon was upon him once more. + +What had happened to him? Why was his brow clammy with drops of +moisture, his knees shaking beneath him, and his soul oppressed +with a cold gloom? Was it because he had just seen these dreadful +eyes again? Why, he had left the Summer Garden on purpose to see +them; that had been his "idea." He had wished to assure himself +that he would see them once more at that house. Then why was he +so overwhelmed now, having seen them as he expected? just as +though he had not expected to see them! Yes, they were the very +same eyes; and no doubt about it. The same that he had seen in +the crowd that morning at the station, the same that he had +surprised in Rogojin's rooms some hours later, when the latter +had replied to his inquiry with a sneering laugh, "Well, whose +eyes were they?" Then for the third time they had appeared just +as he was getting into the train on his way to see Aglaya. He had +had a strong impulse to rush up to Rogojin, and repeat his words +of the morning "Whose eyes are they?" Instead he had fled from +the station, and knew nothing more, until he found himself gazing +into the window of a cutler's shop, and wondering if a knife with +a staghorn handle would cost more than sixty copecks. And as the +prince sat dreaming in the Summer Garden under a lime-tree, a +wicked demon had come and whispered in his car: "Rogojin has been +spying upon you and watching you all the morning in a frenzy of +desperation. When he finds you have not gone to Pavlofsk--a +terrible discovery for him--he will surely go at once to that +house in Petersburg Side, and watch for you there, although only +this morning you gave your word of honour not to see HER, and +swore that you had not come to Petersburg for that purpose." And +thereupon the prince had hastened off to that house, and what was +there in the fact that he had met Rogojin there? He had only seen +a wretched, suffering creature, whose state of mind was gloomy +and miserable, but most comprehensible. In the morning Rogojin +had seemed to be trying to keep out of the way; but at the +station this afternoon he had stood out, he had concealed +himself, indeed, less than the prince himself; at the house, now, +he had stood fifty yards off on the other side of the road, with +folded hands, watching, plainly in view and apparently desirous +of being seen. He had stood there like an accuser, like a judge, +not like a--a what? + +And why had not the prince approached him and spoken to him, +instead of turning away and pretending he had seen nothing, +although their eyes met? (Yes, their eyes had met, and they had +looked at each other.) Why, he had himself wished to take Rogojin +by the hand and go in together, he had himself determined to go +to him on the morrow and tell him that he had seen her, he had +repudiated the demon as he walked to the house, and his heart had +been full of joy. + +Was there something in the whole aspect of the man, today, +sufficient to justify the prince's terror, and the awful +suspicions of his demon? Something seen, but indescribable, which +filled him with dreadful presentiments? Yes, he was convinced of +it--convinced of what? (Oh, how mean and hideous of him to feel +this conviction, this presentiment! How he blamed himself for +it!) "Speak if you dare, and tell me, what is the presentiment?" +he repeated to himself, over and over again. "Put it into words, +speak out clearly and distinctly. Oh, miserable coward that I +am!" The prince flushed with shame for his own baseness. "How +shall I ever look this man in the face again? My God, what a day! +And what a nightmare, what a nightmare!" + +There was a moment, during this long, wretched walk back from the +Petersburg Side, when the prince felt an irresistible desire to +go straight to Rogojin's, wait for him, embrace him with tears +of shame and contrition, and tell him of his distrust, and finish +with it--once for all. + +But here he was back at his hotel. + +How often during the day he had thought of this hotel with +loathing--its corridor, its rooms, its stairs. How he had dreaded +coming back to it, for some reason. + +"What a regular old woman I am today," he had said to himself +each time, with annoyance. "I believe in every foolish +presentiment that comes into my head." + +He stopped for a moment at the door; a great flush of shame came +over him. "I am a coward, a wretched coward," he said, and moved +forward again; but once more he paused. + +Among all the incidents of the day, one recurred to his mind to +the exclusion of the rest; although now that his self-control was +regained, and he was no longer under the influence of a +nightmare, he was able to think of it calmly. It concerned the +knife on Rogojin's table. "Why should not Rogojin have as many +knives on his table as he chooses?" thought the prince, wondering +at his suspicions, as he had done when he found himself looking +into the cutler's window. "What could it have to do with me?" he +said to himself again, and stopped as if rooted to the ground by +a kind of paralysis of limb such as attacks people under the +stress of some humiliating recollection. + +The doorway was dark and gloomy at any time; but just at this +moment it was rendered doubly so by the fact that the thunder- +storm had just broken, and the rain was coming down in torrents. + +And in the semi-darkness the prince distinguished a man standing +close to the stairs, apparently waiting. + +There was nothing particularly significant in the fact that a man +was standing back in the doorway, waiting to come out or go +upstairs; but the prince felt an irresistible conviction that he +knew this man, and that it was Rogojin. The man moved on up the +stairs; a moment later the prince passed up them, too. His heart +froze within him. "In a minute or two I shall know all," he +thought. + +The staircase led to the first and second corridors of the hotel, +along which lay the guests' bedrooms. As is often the case in +Petersburg houses, it was narrow and very dark, and turned around +a massive stone column. + +On the first landing, which was as small as the necessary turn of +the stairs allowed, there was a niche in the column, about half a +yard wide, and in this niche the prince felt convinced that a man +stood concealed. He thought he could distinguish a figure +standing there. He would pass by quickly and not look. He took a +step forward, but could bear the uncertainty no longer and turned +his head. + +The eyes--the same two eyes--met his! The man concealed in the +niche had also taken a step forward. For one second they stood +face to face. + +Suddenly the prince caught the man by the shoulder and twisted +him round towards the light, so that he might see his face more +clearly. + +Rogojin's eyes flashed, and a smile of insanity distorted his +countenance. His right hand was raised, and something glittered +in it. The prince did not think of trying to stop it. All he +could remember afterwards was that he seemed to have called out: + +"Parfen! I won't believe it." + +Next moment something appeared to burst open before him: a +wonderful inner light illuminated his soul. This lasted perhaps +half a second, yet he distinctly remembered hearing the beginning +of the wail, the strange, dreadful wail, which burst from his +lips of its own accord, and which no effort of will on his part +could suppress. + +Next moment he was absolutely unconscious; black darkness blotted +out everything. + +He had fallen in an epileptic fit. + +.. . . . . . . + +As is well known, these fits occur instantaneously. The face, +especially the eyes, become terribly disfigured, convulsions +seize the limbs, a terrible cry breaks from the sufferer, a wail +from which everything human seems to be blotted out, so that it +is impossible to believe that the man who has just fallen is the +same who emitted the dreadful cry. It seems more as though some +other being, inside the stricken one, had cried. Many people have +borne witness to this impression; and many cannot behold an +epileptic fit without a feeling of mysterious terror and dread. + +Such a feeling, we must suppose, overtook Rogojin at this moment, +and saved the prince's life. Not knowing that it was a fit, and +seeing his victim disappear head foremost into the darkness, +hearing his head strike the stone steps below with a crash, +Rogojin rushed downstairs, skirting the body, and flung himself +headlong out of the hotel, like a raving madman. + +The prince's body slipped convulsively down the steps till it +rested at the bottom. Very soon, in five minutes or so, he was +discovered, and a crowd collected around him. + +A pool of blood on the steps near his head gave rise to grave +fears. Was it a case of accident, or had there been a crime? It +was, however, soon recognized as a case of epilepsy, and +identification and proper measures for restoration followed one +another, owing to a fortunate circumstance. Colia Ivolgin had +come back to his hotel about seven o'clock, owing to a sudden +impulse which made him refuse to dine at the Epanchins', and, +finding a note from the prince awaiting him, had sped away to the +latter's address. Arrived there, he ordered a cup of tea and sat +sipping it in the coffee-room. While there he heard excited +whispers of someone just found at the bottom of the stairs in a +fit; upon which he had hurried to the spot, with a presentiment +of evil, and at once recognized the prince. + +The sufferer was immediately taken to his room, and though he +partially regained consciousness, he lay long in a semi-dazed +condition. + +The doctor stated that there was no danger to be apprehended from +the wound on the head, and as soon as the prince could understand +what was going on around him, Colia hired a carriage and took him +away to Lebedeff's. There he was received with much cordiality, +and the departure to the country was hastened on his account. +Three days later they were all at Pavlofsk. + +VI. + +LEBEDEFF'S country-house was not large, but it was pretty and +convenient, especially the part which was let to the prince. + +A row of orange and lemon trees and jasmines, planted in green +tubs, stood on the fairly wide terrace. According to Lebedeff, +these trees gave the house a most delightful aspect. Some were +there when he bought it, and he was so charmed with the effect +that he promptly added to their number. When the tubs containing +these plants arrived at the villa and were set in their places, +Lebedeff kept running into the street to enjoy the view of the +house, and every time he did so the rent to be demanded from the +future tenant went up with a bound. + +This country villa pleased the prince very much in his state of +physical and mental exhaustion. On the day that they left for +Pavlofsk, that is the day after his attack, he appeared almost +well, though in reality he felt very far from it. The faces of +those around him for the last three days had made a pleasant +impression. He was pleased to see, not only Colia, who had become +his inseparable companion, but Lebedeff himself and all the +family, except the nephew, who had left the house. He was also +glad to receive a visit from General Ivolgin, before leaving St. +Petersburg. + +It was getting late when the party arrived at Pavlofsk, but +several people called to see the prince, and assembled in the +verandah. Gania was the first to arrive. He had grown so pale and +thin that the prince could hardly recognize him. Then came Varia +and Ptitsin, who were rusticating in the neighbourhood. As to +General Ivolgin, he scarcely budged from Lebedeff's house, and +seemed to have moved to Pavlofsk with him. Lebedeff did his best +to keep Ardalion Alexandrovitch by him, and to prevent him from +invading the prince's quarters. He chatted with him +confidentially, so that they might have been taken for old +friends. During those three days the prince had noticed that they +frequently held long conversations; he often heard their voices +raised in argument on deep and learned subjects, which evidently +pleased Lebedeff. He seemed as if he could not do without the +general. But it was not only Ardalion Alexandrovitch whom +Lebedeff kept out of the prince's way. Since they had come to the +villa, he treated his own family the same. Upon the pretext that +his tenant needed quiet, he kept him almost in isolation, and +Muishkin protested in vain against this excess of zeal. Lebedeff +stamped his feet at his daughters and drove them away if they +attempted to join the prince on the terrace; not even Vera was +excepted. + +"They will lose all respect if they are allowed to be so free and +easy; besides it is not proper for them," he declared at last, in +answer to a direct question from the prince. + +"Why on earth not?" asked the latter. "Really, you know, you are +making yourself a nuisance, by keeping guard over me like this. I +get bored all by myself; I have told you so over and over again, +and you get on my nerves more than ever by waving your hands and +creeping in and out in the mysterious way you do." + +It was a fact that Lebedeff, though he was so anxious to keep +everyone else from disturbing the patient, was continually in and +out of the prince's room himself. He invariably began by opening +the door a crack and peering in to see if the prince was there, +or if he had escaped; then he would creep softly up to the arm- +chair, sometimes making Muishkin jump by his sudden appearance. +He always asked if the patient wanted anything, and when the +latter replied that he only wanted to be left in peace, he would +turn away obediently and make for the door on tip-toe, with +deprecatory gestures to imply that he had only just looked in, +that he would not speak a word, and would go away and not intrude +again; which did not prevent him from reappearing in ten minutes +or a quarter of an hour. Colia had free access to the prince, at +which Lebedeff was quite disgusted and indignant. He would listen +at the door for half an hour at a time while the two were +talking. Colia found this out, and naturally told the prince of +his discovery. + +"Do you think yourself my master, that you try to keep me under +lock and key like this?" said the prince to Lebedeff. "In the +country, at least, I intend to be free, and you may make up your +mind that I mean to see whom I like, and go where I please." + +"Why, of course," replied the clerk, gesticulating with his +hands. + +The prince looked him sternly up and down. + +"Well, Lukian Timofeyovitch, have you brought the little cupboard +that you had at the head of your bed with you here?" + +"No, I left it where it was." + +"Impossible!" + +"It cannot be moved; you would have to pull the wall down, it is +so firmly fixed." + +"Perhaps you have one like it here?" + +"I have one that is even better, much better; that is really why +I bought this house." + +"Ah! What visitor did you turn away from my door, about an hour +ago?" + +"The-the general. I would not let him in; there is no need for +him to visit you, prince... I have the deepest esteem for him, +he is a--a great man. You don't believe it? Well, you will see, +and yet, most excellent prince, you had much better not receive +him." + +"May I ask why? and also why you walk about on tiptoe and always +seem as if you were going to whisper a secret in my ear whenever +you come near me?" + +"I am vile, vile; I know it!" cried Lebedeff, beating his breast +with a contrite air. "But will not the general be too hospitable +for you?" + +"Too hospitable?" + +"Yes. First, he proposes to come and live in my house. Well and +good; but he sticks at nothing; he immediately makes himself one +of the family. We have talked over our respective relations +several times, and discovered that we are connected by marriage. +It seems also that you are a sort of nephew on his mother's side; +he was explaining it to me again only yesterday. If you are his +nephew, it follows that I must also be a relation of yours, most +excellent prince. Never mind about that, it is only a foible; but +just now he assured me that all his life, from the day he was +made an ensign to the 11th of last June, he has entertained at +least two hundred guests at his table every day. Finally, he went +so far as to say that they never rose from the table; they dined, +supped, and had tea, for fifteen hours at a stretch. This went on +for thirty years without a break; there was barely time to change +the table-cloth; directly one person left, another took his +place. On feast-days he entertained as many as three hundred +guests, and they numbered seven hundred on the thousandth +anniversary of the foundation of the Russian Empire. It amounts +to a passion with him; it makes one uneasy to hear of it. It is +terrible to have to entertain people who do things on such a +scale. That is why I wonder whether such a man is not too +hospitable for you and me." + +"But you seem to be on the best of terms with him?" + +"Quite fraternal--I look upon it as a joke. Let us be brothers- +in-law, it is all the same to me,--rather an honour than not. But +in spite of the two hundred guests and the thousandth anniversary +of the Russian Empire, I can see that he is a very remarkable +man. I am quite sincere. You said just now that I always looked +as if I was going to tell you a secret; you are right. I have a +secret to tell you: a certain person has just let me know that +she is very anxious for a secret interview with you." + +"Why should it be secret? Not at all; I will call on her myself +tomorrow." + +"No, oh no!" cried Lebedeff, waving his arms; "if she is afraid, +it is not for the reason you think. By the way, do you know that +the monster comes every day to inquire after your health?" + +"You call him a monster so often that it makes me suspicious." + +"You must have no suspicions, none whatever," said Lebedeff +quickly. "I only want you to know that the person in question is +not afraid of him, but of something quite, quite different." + +"What on earth is she afraid of, then? Tell me plainly, without +any more beating about the bush," said the prince, exasperated by +the other's mysterious grimaces. + +"Ah that is the secret," said Lebedeff, with a smile. + +"Whose secret?" + +"Yours. You forbade me yourself to mention it before you, most +excellent prince," murmured Lebedeff. Then, satisfied that he had +worked up Muishkin's curiosity to the highest pitch, he added +abruptly: "She is afraid of Aglaya Ivanovna." + +The prince frowned for a moment in silence, and then said +suddenly: + +"Really, Lebedeff, I must leave your house. Where are Gavrila +Ardalionovitch and the Ptitsins? Are they here? Have you chased +them away, too?" + +"They are coming, they are coming; and the general as well. I +will open all the doors; I will call all my daughters, all of +them, this very minute," said Lebedeff in a low voice, thoroughly +frightened, and waving his hands as he ran from door to door. + +At that moment Colia appeared on the terrace; he announced that +Lizabetha Prokofievna and her three daughters were close behind +him. + +Moved by this news, Lebedeff hurried up to the prince. + +"Shall I call the Ptitsins, and Gavrila Ardalionovitch? Shall I +let the general in?" he asked. + +"Why not? Let in anyone who wants to see me. I assure you, +Lebedeff, you have misunderstood my position from the very first; +you have been wrong all along. I have not the slightest reason to +hide myself from anyone," replied the prince gaily. + +Seeing him laugh, Lebedeff thought fit to laugh also, and though +much agitated his satisfaction was quite visible. + +Colia was right; the Epanchin ladies were only a few steps behind +him. As they approached the terrace other visitors appeared from +Lebedeff's side of the house-the Ptitsins, Gania, and Ardalion +Alexandrovitch. + +The Epanchins had only just heard of the prince's illness and of +his presence in Pavlofsk, from Colia; and up to this time had +been in a state of considerable bewilderment about him. The +general brought the prince's card down from town, and Mrs. +Epanchin had felt convinced that he himself would follow his card +at once; she was much excited. + +In vain the girls assured her that a man who had not written for +six months would not be in such a dreadful hurry, and that +probably he had enough to do in town without needing to bustle +down to Pavlofsk to see them. Their mother was quite angry at the +very idea of such a thing, and announced her absolute conviction +that he would turn up the next day at latest. + +So next day the prince was expected all the morning, and at +dinner, tea, and supper; and when he did not appear in the +evening, Mrs. Epanchin quarrelled with everyone in the house, +finding plenty of pretexts without so much as mentioning the +prince's name. + +On the third day there was no talk of him at all, until Aglaya +remarked at dinner: "Mamma is cross because the prince hasn't +turned up," to which the general replied that it was not his +fault. + +Mrs. Epanchin misunderstood the observation, and rising from her +place she left the room in majestic wrath. In the evening, +however, Colia came with the story of the prince's adventures, so +far as he knew them. Mrs. Epanchin was triumphant; although Colia +had to listen to a long lecture. "He idles about here the whole +day long, one can't get rid of him; and then when he is wanted he +does not come. He might have sent a line if he did not wish to +inconvenience himself." + +At the words "one can't get rid of him," Colia was very angry, +and nearly flew into a rage; but he resolved to be quiet for the +time and show his resentment later. If the words had been less +offensive he might have forgiven them, so pleased was he to see +Lizabetha Prokofievna worried and anxious about the prince's +illness. + +She would have insisted on sending to Petersburg at once, for a +certain great medical celebrity; but her daughters dissuaded her, +though they were not willing to stay behind when she at once +prepared to go and visit the invalid. Aglaya, however, suggested +that it was a little unceremonious to go en masse to see him. + +"Very well then, stay at home," said Mrs. Epanchin, and a good +thing too, for Evgenie Pavlovitch is coming down and there will +be no one at home to receive him." + +Of course, after this, Aglaya went with the rest. In fact, she +had never had the slightest intention of doing otherwise. + +Prince S., who was in the house, was requested to escort the +ladies. He had been much interested when he first heard of the +prince from the Epanchins. It appeared that they had known one +another before, and had spent some time together in a little +provincial town three months ago. Prince S. had greatly taken to +him, and was delighted with the opportunity of meeting him again, + +The general had not come down from town as yet, nor had Evgenie +Pavlovitch arrived. + +It was not more than two or three hundred yards from the +Epanchins' house to Lebedeff's. The first disagreeable impression +experienced by Mrs. Epanchin was to find the prince surrounded by +a whole assembly of other guests--not to mention the fact that +some of those present were particularly detestable in her eyes. +The next annoying circumstance was when an apparently strong and +healthy young fellow, well dressed, and smiling, came forward to +meet her on the terrace, instead of the half-dying unfortunate +whom she had expected to see. + +She was astonished and vexed, and her disappointment pleased +Colia immensely. Of course he could have undeceived her before +she started, but the mischievous boy had been careful not to do +that, foreseeing the probably laughable disgust that she would +experience when she found her dear friend, the prince, in good +health. Colia was indelicate enough to voice the delight he felt +at his success in managing to annoy Lizabetha Prokofievna, with +whom, in spite of their really amicable relations, he was +constantly sparring. + +"Just wait a while, my boy!" said she; "don't be too certain of +your triumph." And she sat down heavily, in the arm-chair pushed +forward by the prince. + +Lebedeff, Ptitsin, and General Ivolgin hastened to find chairs +for the young ladies. Varia greeted them joyfully, and they +exchanged confidences in ecstatic whispers. + +"I must admit, prince, I was a little put out to see you up and +about like this--I expected to find you in bed; but I give you my +word, I was only annoyed for an instant, before I collected my +thoughts properly. I am always wiser on second thoughts, and I +dare say you are the same. I assure you I am as glad to see you +well as though you were my own son,--yes, and more; and if you +don't believe me the more shame to you, and it's not my fault. +But that spiteful boy delights in playing all sorts of tricks. +You are his patron, it seems. Well, I warn you that one fine +morning I shall deprive myself of the pleasure of his further +acquaintance." + +"What have I done wrong now?" cried Colia. "What was the good of +telling you that the prince was nearly well again? You would not +have believed me; it was so much more interesting to picture him +on his death-bed." + +"How long do you remain here, prince?" asked Madame Epanchin. + +"All the summer, and perhaps longer." + +"You are alone, aren't you,--not married?" + +"No, I'm not married!" replied the prince, smiling at the +ingenuousness of this little feeler. + +"Oh, you needn't laugh! These things do happen, you know! Now +then--why didn't you come to us? We have a wing quite empty. But +just as you like, of course. Do you lease it from HIM?--this +fellow, I mean," she added, nodding towards Lebedeff. "And why +does he always wriggle so?" + +At that moment Vera, carrying the baby in her arms as usual, came +out of the house, on to the terrace. Lebedeff kept fidgeting +among the chairs, and did not seem to know what to do with +himself, though he had no intention of going away. He no sooner +caught sight of his daughter, than he rushed in her direction, +waving his arms to keep her away; he even forgot himself so far +as to stamp his foot. + +"Is he mad?" asked Madame Epanchin suddenly. + +"No, he ..." + +"Perhaps he is drunk? Your company is rather peculiar," she +added, with a glance at the other guests.... + +"But what a pretty girl! Who is she?" + +"That is Lebedeff's daughter--Vera Lukianovna." + +"Indeed? She looks very sweet. I should like to make her +acquaintance." + +The words were hardly out of her mouth, when Lebedeff dragged +Vera forward, in order to present her. + +"Orphans, poor orphans!" he began in a pathetic voice. + +"The child she carries is an orphan, too. She is Vera's sister, +my daughter Luboff. The day this babe was born, six weeks ago, my +wife died, by the will of God Almighty. ... Yes... Vera takes +her mother's place, though she is but her sister... nothing +more ... nothing more..." + +"And you! You are nothing more than a fool, if you'll excuse me! +Well! well! you know that yourself, I expect," said the lady +indignantly. + +Lebedeff bowed low. "It is the truth," he replied, with extreme +respect. + +"Oh, Mr. Lebedeff, I am told you lecture on the Apocalypse. Is it +true?" asked Aglaya. + +"Yes, that is so ... for the last fifteen years." + +"I have heard of you, and I think read of you in the newspapers." + +"No, that was another commentator, whom the papers named. He is +dead, however, and I have taken his place," said the other, much +delighted. + +"We are neighbours, so will you be so kind as to come over one +day and explain the Apocalypse to me?" said Aglaya. "I do not +understand it in the least." + +"Allow me to warn you," interposed General Ivolgin, that he is +the greatest charlatan on earth." He had taken the chair next to +the girl, and was impatient to begin talking. "No doubt there are +pleasures and amusements peculiar to the country," he continued, +"and to listen to a pretended student holding forth on the book +of the Revelations may be as good as any other. It may even be +original. But ... you seem to be looking at me with some +surprise--may I introduce myself--General Ivolgin--I carried you +in my arms as a baby--" + +"Delighted, I'm sure," said Aglaya; "I am acquainted with Varvara +Ardalionovna and Nina Alexandrovna." She was trying hard to +restrain herself from laughing. + +Mrs. Epanchin flushed up; some accumulation of spleen in her +suddenly needed an outlet. She could not bear this General +Ivolgin whom she had once known, long ago--in society. + +"You are deviating from the truth, sir, as usual!" she remarked, +boiling over with indignation; "you never carried her in your +life!" + +"You have forgotten, mother," said Aglaya, suddenly. "He really +did carry me about,--in Tver, you know. I was six years old, I +remember. He made me a bow and arrow, and I shot a pigeon. Don't +you remember shooting a pigeon, you and I, one day?" + +"Yes, and he made me a cardboard helmet, and a little wooden +sword--I remember!" said Adelaida. + +"Yes, I remember too!" said Alexandra. "You quarrelled about the +wounded pigeon, and Adelaida was put in the corner, and stood +there with her helmet and sword and all." + +The poor general had merely made the remark about having carried +Aglaya in his arms because he always did so begin a conversation +with young people. But it happened that this time he had really +hit upon the truth, though he had himself entirely forgotten the +fact. But when Adelaida and Aglaya recalled the episode of the +pigeon, his mind became filled with memories, and it is +impossible to describe how this poor old man, usually half drunk, +was moved by the recollection. + +"I remember--I remember it all!" he cried. "I was captain then. +You were such a lovely little thing--Nina Alexandrovna!--Gania, +listen! I was received then by General Epanchin." + +"Yes, and look what you have come to now!" interrupted Mrs. +Epanchin. "However, I see you have not quite drunk your better +feelings away. But you've broken your wife's heart, sir--and +instead of looking after your children, you have spent your time +in public-houses and debtors' prisons! Go away, my friend, stand +in some corner and weep, and bemoan your fallen dignity, and +perhaps God will forgive you yet! Go, go! I'm serious! There's +nothing so favourable for repentance as to think of the past with +feelings of remorse!" + +There was no need to repeat that she was serious. The general, +like all drunkards, was extremely emotional and easily touched by +recollections of his better days. He rose and walked quietly to +the door, so meekly that Mrs. Epanchin was instantly sorry for him. + +"Ardalion Alexandrovitch," she cried after him, "wait a moment, +we are all sinners! When you feel that your conscience reproaches +you a little less, come over to me and we'll have a talk about +the past! I dare say I am fifty times more of a sinner than you +are! And now go, go, good-bye, you had better not stay here!" she +added, in alarm, as he turned as though to come back. + +"Don't go after him just now, Colia, or he'll be vexed, and the +benefit of this moment will be lost!" said the prince, as the boy +was hurrying out of the room. + +"Quite true! Much better to go in half an hour or so said Mrs. +Epanchin. + +"That's what comes of telling the truth for once in one's life!" +said Lebedeff. "It reduced him to tears." + +"Come, come! the less YOU say about it the better--to judge from +all I have heard about you!" replied Mrs. Epanchin. + +The prince took the first opportunity of informing the Epanchin +ladies that he had intended to pay them a visit that day, if they +had not themselves come this afternoon, and Lizabetha Prokofievna +replied that she hoped he would still do so. + +By this time some of the visitors had disappeared. + +Ptitsin had tactfully retreated to Lebedeff's wing; and Gania +soon followed him. + +The latter had behaved modestly, but with dignity, on this +occasion of his first meeting with the Epanchins since the +rupture. Twice Mrs. Epanchin had deliberately examined him from +head to foot; but he had stood fire without flinching. He was +certainly much changed, as anyone could see who had not met him +for some time; and this fact seemed to afford Aglaya a good deal +of satisfaction. + +"That was Gavrila Ardalionovitch, who just went out, wasn't it?" +she asked suddenly, interrupting somebody else's conversation to +make the remark. + +"Yes, it was," said the prince. + +"I hardly knew him; he is much changed, and for the better!" + +"I am very glad," said the prince. + +"He has been very ill," added Varia. + +"How has he changed for the better?" asked Mrs. Epanchin. "I +don't see any change for the better! What's better in him? Where +did you get THAT idea from? WHAT'S better?" + +"There's nothing better than the 'poor knight'!" said Colia, who +was standing near the last speaker's chair. + +"I quite agree with you there!" said Prince S., laughing. + +"So do I," said Adelaida, solemnly. + +"WHAT poor knight?" asked Mrs. Epanchin, looking round at the +face of each of the speakers in turn. Seeing, however, that +Aglaya was blushing, she added, angrily: + +"What nonsense you are all talking! What do you mean by poor +knight?" + +"It's not the first time this urchin, your favourite, has shown +his impudence by twisting other people's words," said Aglaya, +haughtily. + +Every time that Aglaya showed temper (and this was very often), +there was so much childish pouting, such "school-girlishness," as +it were, in her apparent wrath, that it was impossible to avoid +smiling at her, to her own unutterable indignation. On these +occasions she would say, "How can they, how DARE they laugh at +me?" + +This time everyone laughed at her, her sisters, Prince S., Prince +Muishkin (though he himself had flushed for some reason), and +Colia. Aglaya was dreadfully indignant, and looked twice as +pretty in her wrath. + +"He's always twisting round what one says," she cried. + +"I am only repeating your own exclamation!" said Colia. "A month +ago you were turning over the pages of your Don Quixote, and +suddenly called out 'there is nothing better than the poor +knight.' I don't know whom you were referring to, of course, +whether to Don Quixote, or Evgenie Pavlovitch, or someone else, +but you certainly said these words, and afterwards there was a +long conversation . . . " + +"You are inclined to go a little too far, my good boy, with your +guesses," said Mrs. Epanchin, with some show of annoyance. + +"But it's not I alone," cried Colia. "They all talked about it, +and they do still. Why, just now Prince S. and Adelaida Ivanovna +declared that they upheld 'the poor knight'; so evidently there +does exist a 'poor knight'; and if it were not for Adelaida +Ivanovna, we should have known long ago who the 'poor knight' +was." + +"Why, how am I to blame?" asked Adelaida, smiling. + +"You wouldn't draw his portrait for us, that's why you are to +blame! Aglaya Ivanovna asked you to draw his portrait, and gave +you the whole subject of the picture. She invented it herself; +and you wouldn't." + +"What was I to draw? According to the lines she quoted: + +"'From his face he never lifted +That eternal mask of steel.'" + +"What sort of a face was I to draw? I couldn't draw a mask." + +"I don't know what you are driving at; what mask do you mean?" +said Mrs. Epanchin, irritably. She began to see pretty clearly +though what it meant, and whom they referred to by the generally +accepted title of "poor knight." But what specially annoyed her +was that the prince was looking so uncomfortable, and blushing +like a ten-year-old child. + +"Well, have you finished your silly joke?" she added, and am I to +be told what this 'poor knight' means, or is it a solemn secret +which cannot be approached lightly?" + +But they all laughed on. + +"It's simply that there is a Russian poem," began Prince S., +evidently anxious to change the conversation, "a strange thing, +without beginning or end, and all about a 'poor knight.' A month +or so ago, we were all talking and laughing, and looking up a +subject for one of Adelaida's pictures--you know it is the +principal business of this family to find subjects for Adelaida's +pictures. Well, we happened upon this 'poor knight.' I don't +remember who thought of it first--" + +"Oh! Aglaya Ivanovna did," said Colia. + +"Very likely--I don't recollect," continued Prince S. + +"Some of us laughed at the subject; some liked it; but she +declared that, in order to make a picture of the gentleman, she +must first see his face. We then began to think over all our +friends' faces to see if any of them would do, and none suited +us, and so the matter stood; that's all. I don't know why Nicolai +Ardalionovitch has brought up the joke now. What was appropriate +and funny then, has quite lost all interest by this time." + +"Probably there's some new silliness about it," said Mrs. +Epanchin, sarcastically. + +"There is no silliness about it at all--only the profoundest +respect," said Aglaya, very seriously. She had quite recovered +her temper; in fact, from certain signs, it was fair to conclude +that she was delighted to see this joke going so far; and a +careful observer might have remarked that her satisfaction dated +from the moment when the fact of the prince's confusion became +apparent to all. + +"'Profoundest respect!' What nonsense! First, insane giggling, +and then, all of a sudden, a display of 'profoundest respect.' +Why respect? Tell me at once, why have you suddenly developed +this 'profound respect,' eh?" + +"Because," replied Aglaya gravely, "in the poem the knight is +described as a man capable of living up to an ideal all his life. +That sort of thing is not to be found every day among the men of +our times. In the poem it is not stated exactly what the ideal +was, but it was evidently some vision, some revelation of pure +Beauty, and the knight wore round his neck, instead of a scarf, a +rosary. A device--A. N. B.--the meaning of which is not +explained, was inscribed on his shield--" + +"No, A. N. D.," corrected Colia. + +"I say A. N. B., and so it shall be!" cried Aglaya, irritably. +"Anyway, the 'poor knight' did not care what his lady was, or +what she did. He had chosen his ideal, and he was bound to serve +her, and break lances for her, and acknowledge her as the ideal +of pure Beauty, whatever she might say or do afterwards. If she +had taken to stealing, he would have championed her just the +same. I think the poet desired to embody in this one picture the +whole spirit of medieval chivalry and the platonic love of a pure +and high-souled knight. Of course it's all an ideal, and in the +'poor knight' that spirit reached the utmost limit of asceticism. +He is a Don Quixote, only serious and not comical. I used not to +understand him, and laughed at him, but now I love the 'poor +knight,' and respect his actions." + +So ended Aglaya; and, to look at her, it was difficult, indeed, +to judge whether she was joking or in earnest. + +"Pooh! he was a fool, and his actions were the actions of a +fool," said Mrs. Epanchin; "and as for you, young woman, you +ought to know better. At all events, you are not to talk like +that again. What poem is it? Recite it! I want to hear this poem! +I have hated poetry all my life. Prince, you must excuse this +nonsense. We neither of us like this sort of thing! Be patient!" + +They certainly were put out, both of them. + +The prince tried to say something, but he was too confused, and +could not get his words out. Aglaya, who had taken such liberties +in her little speech, was the only person present, perhaps, who +was not in the least embarrassed. She seemed, in fact, quite +pleased. + +She now rose solemnly from her seat, walked to the centre of the +terrace, and stood in front of the prince's chair. All looked on +with some surprise, and Prince S. and her sisters with feelings +of decided alarm, to see what new frolic she was up to; it had +gone quite far enough already, they thought. But Aglaya evidently +thoroughly enjoyed the affectation and ceremony with which she +was introducing her recitation of the poem. + +Mrs. Epanchin was just wondering whether she would not forbid the +performance after all, when, at the very moment that Aglaya +commenced her declamation, two new guests, both talking loudly, +entered from the street. The new arrivals were General Epanchin +and a young man. + +Their entrance caused some slight commotion. + +VII. + +THE young fellow accompanying the general was about twenty-eight, +tall, and well built, with a handsome and clever face, and bright +black eyes, full of fun and intelligence. + +Aglaya did not so much as glance at the new arrivals, but went on +with her recitation, gazing at the prince the while in an +affected manner, and at him alone. It was clear to him that she +was doing all this with some special object. + +But the new guests at least somewhat eased his strained and +uncomfortable position. Seeing them approaching, he rose from his +chair, and nodding amicably to the general, signed to him not to +interrupt the recitation. He then got behind his chair, and stood +there with his left hand resting on the back of it. Thanks to +this change of position, he was able to listen to the ballad with +far less embarrassment than before. Mrs. Epanchin had also twice +motioned to the new arrivals to be quiet, and stay where they +were. + +The prince was much interested in the young man who had just +entered. He easily concluded that this was Evgenie Pavlovitch +Radomski, of whom he had already heard mention several times. He +was puzzled, however, by the young man's plain clothes, for he +had always heard of Evgenie Pavlovitch as a military man. An +ironical smile played on Evgenie's lips all the while the +recitation was proceeding, which showed that he, too, was +probably in the secret of the 'poor knight' joke. But it had +become quite a different matter with Aglaya. All the affectation +of manner which she had displayed at the beginning disappeared as +the ballad proceeded. She spoke the lines in so serious and +exalted a manner, and with so much taste, that she even seemed to +justify the exaggerated solemnity with which she had stepped +forward. It was impossible to discern in her now anything but a +deep feeling for the spirit of the poem which she had undertaken +to interpret. + +Her eyes were aglow with inspiration, and a slight tremor of +rapture passed over her lovely features once or twice. She +continued to recite: + +"Once there came a vision glorious, +Mystic, dreadful, wondrous fair; +Burned itself into his spirit, +And abode for ever there! + +"Never more--from that sweet moment-- +Gazed he on womankind; +He was dumb to love and wooing +And to all their graces blind. + +"Full of love for that sweet vision, +Brave and pure he took the field; +With his blood he stained the letters +N. P. B. upon his shield. + +"'Lumen caeli, sancta Rosa!' +Shouting on the foe he fell, +And like thunder rang his war-cry +O'er the cowering infidel. + +"Then within his distant castle, +Home returned, he dreamed his days- +Silent, sad,--and when death took him +He was mad, the legend says." + +When recalling all this afterwards the prince could not for the +life of him understand how to reconcile the beautiful, sincere, +pure nature of the girl with the irony of this jest. That it was +a jest there was no doubt whatever; he knew that well enough, and +had good reason, too, for his conviction; for during her +recitation of the ballad Aglaya had deliberately changed the +letters A. N. B. into N. P. B. He was quite sure she had not done +this by accident, and that his ears had not deceived him. At all +events her performance--which was a joke, of course, if rather a +crude one,--was premeditated. They had evidently talked (and +laughed) over the 'poor knight' for more than a month. + +Yet Aglaya had brought out these letters N. P. B. not only +without the slightest appearance of irony, or even any particular +accentuation, but with so even and unbroken an appearance of +seriousness that assuredly anyone might have supposed that these +initials were the original ones written in the ballad. The thing +made an uncomfortable impression upon the prince. Of course Mrs. +Epanchin saw nothing either in the change of initials or in the +insinuation embodied therein. General Epanchin only knew that +there was a recitation of verses going on, and took no further +interest in the matter. Of the rest of the audience, many had +understood the allusion and wondered both at the daring of the +lady and at the motive underlying it, but tried to show no sign +of their feelings. But Evgenie Pavlovitch (as the prince was +ready to wager) both comprehended and tried his best to show that +he comprehended; his smile was too mocking to leave any doubt on +that point. + +"How beautiful that is!" cried Mrs. Epanchin, with sincere +admiration. "Whose is it? ' + +"Pushkin's, mama, of course! Don't disgrace us all by showing +your ignorance," said Adelaida. + +"As soon as we reach home give it to me to read." + +"I don't think we have a copy of Pushkin in the house." + +"There are a couple of torn volumes somewhere; they have been +lying about from time immemorial," added Alexandra. + +"Send Feodor or Alexey up by the very first train to buy a copy, +then.--Aglaya, come here--kiss me, dear, you recited beautifully! +but," she added in a whisper, "if you were sincere I am sorry for +you. If it was a joke, I do not approve of the feelings which +prompted you to do it, and in any case you would have done far +better not to recite it at all. Do you understand?--Now come +along, young woman; we've sat here too long. I'll speak to you +about this another time." + +Meanwhile the prince took the opportunity of greeting General +Epanchin, and the general introduced Evgenie Pavlovitch to him. + +"I caught him up on the way to your house," explained the +general. "He had heard that we were all here." + +"Yes, and I heard that you were here, too," added Evgenie +Pavlovitch; "and since I had long promised myself the pleasure of +seeking not only your acquaintance but your friendship, I did not +wish to waste time, but came straight on. I am sorry to hear that +you are unwell." + +"Oh, but I'm quite well now, thank you, and very glad to make +your acquaintance. Prince S. has often spoken to me about you," +said Muishkin, and for an instant the two men looked intently +into one another's eyes. + +The prince remarked that Evgenie Pavlovitch's plain clothes had +evidently made a great impression upon the company present, so +much so that all other interests seemed to be effaced before this +surprising fact. + +His change of dress was evidently a matter of some importance. +Adelaida and Alexandra poured out a stream of questions; Prince +S., a relative of the young man, appeared annoyed; and Ivan +Fedorovitch quite excited. Aglaya alone was not interested. She +merely looked closely at Evgenie for a minute, curious perhaps as +to whether civil or military clothes became him best, then turned +away and paid no more attention to him or his costume. Lizabetha +Prokofievna asked no questions, but it was clear that she was +uneasy, and the prince fancied that Evgenie was not in her good +graces. + +"He has astonished me," said Ivan Fedorovitch. "I nearly fell +down with surprise. I could hardly believe my eyes when I met him +in Petersburg just now. Why this haste? That's what I want to +know. He has always said himself that there is no need to break +windows." + +Evgenie Pavlovitch remarked here that he had spoken of his +intention of leaving the service long ago. He had, however, +always made more or less of a joke about it, so no one had taken +him seriously. For that matter he joked about everything, and his +friends never knew what to believe, especially if he did not wish +them to understand him. + +"I have only retired for a time," said he, laughing. "For a few +months; at most for a year." + +"But there is no necessity for you to retire at all," complained +the general, "as far as I know." + +"I want to go and look after my country estates. You advised me +to do that yourself," was the reply. "And then I wish to go +abroad." + +After a few more expostulations, the conversation drifted into +other channels, but the prince, who had been an attentive +listener, thought all this excitement about so small a matter +very curious. "There must be more in it than appears," he said to +himself. + +"I see the 'poor knight' has come on the scene again," said +Evgenie Pavlovitch, stepping to Aglaya's side. + +To the amazement of the prince, who overheard the remark, Aglaya +looked haughtily and inquiringly at the questioner, as though she +would give him to know, once for all, that there could be no talk +between them about the 'poor knight,' and that she did not +understand his question. + +"But not now! It is too late to send to town for a Pushkin now. +It is much too late, I say!" Colia was exclaiming in a loud +voice. "I have told you so at least a hundred times." + +"Yes, it is really much too late to send to town now," said +Evgenie Pavlovitch, who had escaped from Aglaya as rapidly as +possible. "I am sure the shops are shut in Petersburg; it is past +eight o'clock," he added, looking at his watch. + +"We have done without him so far," interrupted Adelaida in her +turn. "Surely we can wait until to-morrow." + +"Besides," said Colia, "it is quite unusual, almost improper, for +people in our position to take any interest in literature. Ask +Evgenie Pavlovitch if I am not right. It is much more fashionable +to drive a waggonette with red wheels." + +"You got that from some magazine, Colia," remarked Adelaida. + +"He gets most of his conversation in that way," laughed Evgenie +Pavlovitch. "He borrows whole phrases from the reviews. I have +long had the pleasure of knowing both Nicholai Ardalionovitch and +his conversational methods, but this time he was not repeating +something he had read; he was alluding, no doubt, to my yellow +waggonette, which has, or had, red wheels. But I have exchanged +it, so you are rather behind the times, Colia." + +The prince had been listening attentively to Radomski's words, +and thought his manner very pleasant. When Colia chaffed him +about his waggonette he had replied with perfect equality and in +a friendly fashion. This pleased Muishkin. + +At this moment Vera came up to Lizabetha Prokofievna, carrying +several large and beautifully bound books, apparently quite new. + +"What is it?" demanded the lady. + +"This is Pushkin," replied the girl. "Papa told me to offer it +to you." + +"What? Impossible!" exclaimed Mrs. Epanchin. + +"Not as a present, not as a present! I should not have taken the +liberty," said Lebedeff, appearing suddenly from behind his +daughter. "It is our own Pushkin, our family copy, Annenkoff's +edition; it could not be bought now. I beg to suggest, with great +respect, that your excellency should buy it, and thus quench the +noble literary thirst which is consuming you at this moment," he +concluded grandiloquently. + +"Oh! if you will sell it, very good--and thank you. You shall not +be a loser! But for goodness' sake, don't twist about like that, +sir! I have heard of you; they tell me you are a very learned +person. We must have a talk one of these days. You will bring me +the books yourself?" + +"With the greatest respect ... and ... and veneration," replied +Lebedeff, making extraordinary grimaces. + +"Well, bring them, with or without respect, provided always you +do not drop them on the way; but on the condition," went on the +lady, looking full at him, "that you do not cross my threshold. I +do not intend to receive you today. You may send your daughter +Vera at once, if you like. I am much pleased with her." + +"Why don't you tell him about them?" said Vera impatiently to her +father. "They will come in, whether you announce them or not, and +they are beginning to make a row. Lef Nicolaievitch,"--she +addressed herself to the prince--"four men are here asking for +you. They have waited some time, and are beginning to make a +fuss, and papa will not bring them in." + +"Who are these people?" said the prince. + +"They say that they have come on business, and they are the kind +of men, who, if you do not see them here, will follow you about +the street. It would be better to receive them, and then you will +get rid of them. Gavrila Ardalionovitch and Ptitsin are both +there, trying to make them hear reason." + +"Pavlicheff's son! It is not worth while!" cried Lebedeff. "There +is no necessity to see them, and it would be most unpleasant for +your excellency. They do not deserve ..." + +"What? Pavlicheff's son!" cried the prince, much perturbed. "I +know ... I know--but I entrusted this matter to Gavrila +Ardalionovitch. He told me ..." + +At that moment Gania, accompanied by Ptitsin, came out to the +terrace. From an adjoining room came a noise of angry voices, and +General Ivolgin, in loud tones, seemed to be trying to shout them +down. Colia rushed off at once to investigate the cause of the +uproar. + +"This is most interesting!" observed Evgenie Pavlovitch. + +"I expect he knows all about it!" thought the prince. + +"What, the son of Pavlicheff? And who may this son of Pavlicheff +be?" asked General Epanchin with surprise; and looking curiously +around him, he discovered that he alone had no clue to the +mystery. Expectation and suspense were on every face, with the +exception of that of the prince, who stood gravely wondering how +an affair so entirely personal could have awakened such lively +and widespread interest in so short a time. + +Aglaya went up to him with a peculiarly serious look + +"It will be well," she said, "if you put an end to this affair +yourself AT ONCE: but you must allow us to be your witnesses. +They want to throw mud at you, prince, and you must be +triumphantly vindicated. I give you joy beforehand!" + +"And I also wish for justice to be done, once for all," cried +Madame Epanchin, "about this impudent claim. Deal with them +promptly, prince, and don't spare them! I am sick of hearing +about the affair, and many a quarrel I have had in your cause. +But I confess I am anxious to see what happens, so do make them +come out here, and we will remain. You have heard people talking +about it, no doubt?" she added, turning to Prince S. + +"Of course," said he. "I have heard it spoken about at your +house, and I am anxious to see these young men!" + +"They are Nihilists, are they not?" + +"No, they are not Nihilists," explained Lebedeff, who seemed much +excited. "This is another lot--a special group. According to my +nephew they are more advanced even than the Nihilists. You are +quite wrong, excellency, if you think that your presence will +intimidate them; nothing intimidates them. Educated men, learned +men even, are to be found among Nihilists; these go further, in +that they are men of action. The movement is, properly speaking, +a derivative from Nihilism--though they are only known +indirectly, and by hearsay, for they never advertise their doings +in the papers. They go straight to the point. For them, it is not +a question of showing that Pushkin is stupid, or that Russia +must be torn in pieces. No; but if they have a great desire for +anything, they believe they have a right to get it even at the +cost of the lives, say, of eight persons. They are checked by no +obstacles. In fact, prince, I should not advise you ..." + +But Muishkin had risen, and was on his way to open the door for +his visitors. + +"You are slandering them, Lebedeff," said he, smiling. + +"You are always thinking about your nephew's conduct. Don't +believe him, Lizabetha Prokofievna. I can assure you Gorsky and +Daniloff are exceptions--and that these are only ... mistaken. +However, I do not care about receiving them here, in public. +Excuse me, Lizabetha Prokofievna. They are coming, and you can +see them, and then I will take them away. Please come in, +gentlemen!" + +Another thought tormented him: He wondered was this an arranged +business--arranged to happen when he had guests in his house, and +in anticipation of his humiliation rather than of his triumph? +But he reproached himself bitterly for such a thought, and felt +as if he should die of shame if it were discovered. When his new +visitors appeared, he was quite ready to believe himself +infinitely less to be respected than any of them. + +Four persons entered, led by General Ivolgin, in a state of great +excitement, and talking eloquently. + +"He is for me, undoubtedly!" thought the prince, with a smile. +Colia also had joined the party, and was talking with animation +to Hippolyte, who listened with a jeering smile on his lips. + +The prince begged the visitors to sit down. They were all so +young that it made the proceedings seem even more extraordinary. +Ivan Fedorovitch, who really understood nothing of what was going +on, felt indignant at the sight of these youths, and would have +interfered in some way had it not been for the extreme interest +shown by his wife in the affair. He therefore remained, partly +through curiosity, partly through good-nature, hoping that his +presence might be of some use. But the bow with which General +Ivolgin greeted him irritated him anew; he frowned, and decided +to be absolutely silent. + +As to the rest, one was a man of thirty, the retired officer, now +a boxer, who had been with Rogojin, and in his happier days had +given fifteen roubles at a time to beggars. Evidently he had +joined the others as a comrade to give them moral, and if +necessary material, support. The man who had been spoken of as +"Pavlicheff's son," although he gave the name of Antip Burdovsky, +was about twenty-two years of age, fair, thin and rather tall. He +was remarkable for the poverty, not to say uncleanliness, of his +personal appearance: the sleeves of his overcoat were greasy; his +dirty waistcoat, buttoned up to his neck, showed not a trace of +linen; a filthy black silk scarf, twisted till it resembled a +cord, was round his neck, and his hands were unwashed. He looked +round with an air of insolent effrontery. His face, covered with +pimples, was neither thoughtful nor even contemptuous; it wore an +expression of complacent satisfaction in demanding his rights and +in being an aggrieved party. His voice trembled, and he spoke so +fast, and with such stammerings, that he might have been taken +for a foreigner, though the purest Russian blood ran in his +veins. Lebedeff's nephew, whom the reader has seen already, +accompanied him, and also the youth named Hippolyte Terentieff. +The latter was only seventeen or eighteen. He had an intelligent +face, though it was usually irritated and fretful in expression. +His skeleton-like figure, his ghastly complexion, the brightness +of his eyes, and the red spots of colour on his cheeks, betrayed +the victim of consumption to the most casual glance. He coughed +persistently, and panted for breath; it looked as though he had +but a few weeks more to live. He was nearly dead with fatigue, +and fell, rather than sat, into a chair. The rest bowed as they +came in; and being more or less abashed, put on an air of extreme +self-assurance. In short, their attitude was not that which one +would have expected in men who professed to despise all +trivialities, all foolish mundane conventions, and indeed +everything, except their own personal interests. + +"Antip Burdovsky," stuttered the son of Pavlicheff. + +"Vladimir Doktorenko," said Lebedeff's nephew briskly, and with a +certain pride, as if he boasted of his name. + +"Keller," murmured the retired officer. + +"Hippolyte Terentieff," cried the last-named, in a shrill voice. + +They sat now in a row facing the prince, and frowned, and played +with their caps. All appeared ready to speak, and yet all were +silent; the defiant expression on their faces seemed to say, "No, +sir, you don't take us in!" It could be felt that the first word +spoken by anyone present would bring a torrent of speech from the +whole deputation. + +VIII. + +"I DID not expect you, gentlemen," began the prince. I have been +ill until to-day. A month ago," he continued, addressing himself +to Antip Burdovsky, "I put your business into Gavrila +Ardalionovitch Ivolgin's hands, as I told you then. I do not in +the least object to having a personal interview ... but you +will agree with me that this is hardly the time ... I propose +that we go into another room, if you will not keep me long... As +you see, I have friends here, and believe me ..." + +"Friends as many as you please, but allow me," interrupted the +harsh voice of Lebedeff's nephew--" allow me to tell you that you +might have treated us rather more politely, and not have kept us +waiting at least two hours ... + +"No doubt ... and I ... is that acting like a prince? And you ... +you may be a general! But I ... I am not your valet! And I ... +I..." stammered Antip Burdovsky. + +He was extremely excited; his lips trembled, and the resentment +of an embittered soul was in his voice. But he spoke so +indistinctly that hardly a dozen words could be gathered. + +"It was a princely action!" sneered Hippolyte. + +"If anyone had treated me so," grumbled the boxer. + +"I mean to say that if I had been in Burdovsky's place...I..." + +"Gentlemen, I did not know you were there; I have only just been +informed, I assure you," repeated Muishkin. + +"We are not afraid of your friends, prince," remarked Lebedeff's +nephew, "for we are within our rights." + +The shrill tones of Hippolyte interrupted him. "What right have +you ... by what right do you demand us to submit this matter, +about Burdovsky ... to the judgment of your friends? We know only +too well what the judgment of your friends will be! ..." + +This beginning gave promise of a stormy discussion. The prince +was much discouraged, but at last he managed to make himself +heard amid the vociferations of his excited visitors. + +"If you," he said, addressing Burdovsky--"if you prefer not to +speak here, I offer again to go into another room with you ... +and as to your waiting to see me, I repeat that I only this +instant heard ..." + +"Well, you have no right, you have no right, no right at all!... +Your friends indeed!"... gabbled Burdovsky, defiantly examining +the faces round him, and becoming more and more excited. "You +have no right!..." As he ended thus abruptly, he leant +forward, staring at the prince with his short-sighted, bloodshot +eyes. The latter was so astonished, that he did not reply, but +looked steadily at him in return. + +"Lef Nicolaievitch!" interposed Madame Epanchin, suddenly, "read +this at once, this very moment! It is about this business." + +She held out a weekly comic paper, pointing to an article on one +of its pages. Just as the visitors were coming in, Lebedeff, +wishing to ingratiate himself with the great lady, had pulled +this paper from his pocket, and presented it to her, indicating a +few columns marked in pencil. Lizabetha Prokofievna had had time +to read some of it, and was greatly upset. + +"Would it not be better to peruse it alone ..." later asked the +prince, nervously. + +"No, no, read it--read it at once directly, and aloud, aloud!" +cried she, calling Colia to her and giving him the journal.--" +Read it aloud, so that everyone may hear it!" + +An impetuous woman, Lizabetha Prokofievna sometimes weighed her +anchors and put out to sea quite regardless of the possible +storms she might encounter. Ivan Fedorovitch felt a sudden pang +of alarm, but the others were merely curious, and somewhat +surprised. Colia unfolded the paper, and began to read, in his +clear, high-pitched voice, the following article: + +"Proletarians and scions of nobility! An episode of the +brigandage of today and every day! Progress! Reform! Justice!" + +"Strange things are going on in our so-called Holy Russia in this +age of reform and great enterprises; this age of patriotism in +which hundreds of millions are yearly sent abroad; in which +industry is encouraged, and the hands of Labour paralyzed, etc.; +there is no end to this, gentlemen, so let us come to the point. +A strange thing has happened to a scion of our defunct +aristocracy. (DE PROFUNDIS!) The grandfathers of these scions +ruined themselves at the gaming-tables; their fathers were forced +to serve as officers or subalterns; some have died just as they +were about to be tried for innocent thoughtlessness in the +handling of public funds. Their children are sometimes congenital +idiots, like the hero of our story; sometimes they are found in +the dock at the Assizes, where they are generally acquitted by +the jury for edifying motives; sometimes they distinguish +themselves by one of those burning scandals that amaze the public +and add another blot to the stained record of our age. Six months +ago--that is, last winter--this particular scion returned to +Russia, wearing gaiters like a foreigner, and shivering with cold +in an old scantily-lined cloak. He had come from Switzerland, +where he had just undergone a successful course of treatment for +idiocy (SIC!). Certainly Fortune favoured him, for, apart from +the interesting malady of which he was cured in Switzerland (can +there be a cure for idiocy?) his story proves the truth of the +Russian proverb that 'happiness is the right of certain classes!' +Judge for yourselves. Our subject was an infant in arms when he +lost his father, an officer who died just as he was about to be +court-martialled for gambling away the funds of his company, and +perhaps also for flogging a subordinate to excess (remember the +good old days, gentlemen). The orphan was brought up by the +charity of a very rich Russian landowner. In the good old days, +this man, whom we will call P--, owned four thousand souls as +serfs (souls as serfs!--can you understand such an expression, +gentlemen? I cannot; it must be looked up in a dictionary before +one can understand it; these things of a bygone day are already +unintelligible to us). He appears to have been one of those +Russian parasites who lead an idle existence abroad, spending the +summer at some spa, and the winter in Paris, to the greater +profit of the organizers of public balls. It may safely be said +that the manager of the Chateau des Fleurs (lucky man!) pocketed +at least a third of the money paid by Russian peasants to their +lords in the days of serfdom. However this may be, the gay P-- +brought up the orphan like a prince, provided him with tutors and +governesses (pretty, of course!) whom he chose himself in Paris. +But the little aristocrat, the last of his noble race, was an +idiot. The governesses, recruited at the Chateau des Fleurs, +laboured in vain; at twenty years of age their pupil could not +speak in any language, not even Russian. But ignorance of the +latter was still excusable. At last P-- was seized with a strange +notion; he imagined that in Switzerland they could change an +idiot into a mail of sense. After all, the idea was quite +logical; a parasite and landowner naturally supposed that +intelligence was a marketable commodity like everything else, +and that in Switzerland especially it could be bought for money. +The case was entrusted to a celebrated Swiss professor, and cost +thousands of roubles; the treatment lasted five years. Needless +to say, the idiot did not become intelligent, but it is alleged +that he grew into something more or less resembling a man. At +this stage P-- died suddenly, and, as usual, he had made no will +and left his affairs in disorder. A crowd of eager claimants +arose, who cared nothing about any last scion of a noble race +undergoing treatment in Switzerland, at the expense of the +deceased, as a congenital idiot. Idiot though he was, the noble +scion tried to cheat his professor, and they say he succeeded in +getting him to continue the treatment gratis for two years, by +concealing the death of his benefactor. But the professor himself +was a charlatan. Getting anxious at last when no money was +forthcoming, and alarmed above all by his patient's appetite, he +presented him with a pair of old gaiters and a shabby cloak and +packed him off to Russia, third class. It would seem that Fortune +had turned her back upon our hero. Not at all; Fortune, who lets +whole populations die of hunger, showered all her gifts at once +upon the little aristocrat, like Kryloff's Cloud which passes +over an arid plain and empties itself into the sea. He had +scarcely arrived in St. Petersburg, when a relation of his +mother's (who was of bourgeois origin, of course), died at +Moscow. He was a merchant, an Old Believer, and he had no +children. He left a fortune of several millions in good current +coin, and everything came to our noble scion, our gaitered baron, +formerly treated for idiocy in a Swiss lunatic asylum. Instantly +the scene changed, crowds of friends gathered round our baron, +who meanwhile had lost his head over a celebrated demi-mondaine; +he even discovered some relations; moreover a number of young +girls of high birth burned to be united to him in lawful +matrimony. Could anyone possibly imagine a better match? +Aristocrat, millionaire, and idiot, he has every advantage! One +might hunt in vain for his equal, even with the lantern of +Diogenes; his like is not to be had even by getting it made to +order!" + +"Oh, I don't know what this means" cried Ivan Fedorovitch, +transported with indignation. + +"Leave off, Colia," begged the prince. Exclamations arose on all +sides. + +"Let him go on reading at all costs!" ordered Lizabetha +Prokofievna, evidently preserving her composure by a desperate +effort. "Prince, if the reading is stopped, you and I will +quarrel." + +Colia had no choice but to obey. With crimson cheeks he read on +unsteadily: + +"But while our young millionaire dwelt as it were in the +Empyrean, something new occurred. One fine morning a man called +upon him, calm and severe of aspect, distinguished, but plainly +dressed. Politely, but in dignified terms, as befitted his +errand, he briefly explained the motive for his visit. He was a +lawyer of enlightened views; his client was a young man who had +consulted him in confidence. This young man was no other than the +son of P--, though he bears another name. In his youth P--, the +sensualist, had seduced a young girl, poor but respectable. She +was a serf, but had received a European education. Finding that a +child was expected, he hastened her marriage with a man of noble +character who had loved her for a long time. He helped the young +couple for a time, but he was soon obliged to give up, for the +high-minded husband refused to accept anything from him. Soon the +careless nobleman forgot all about his former mistress and the +child she had borne him; then, as we know, he died intestate. P-- +'s son, born after his mother's marriage, found a true father in +the generous man whose name he bore. But when he also died, the +orphan was left to provide for himself, his mother now being an +invalid who had lost the use of her limbs. Leaving her in a +distant province, he came to the capital in search of pupils. By +dint of daily toil he earned enough to enable him to follow the +college courses, and at last to enter the university. But what +can one earn by teaching the children of Russian merchants at ten +copecks a lesson, especially with an invalid mother to keep? Even +her death did not much diminish the hardships of the young man's +struggle for existence. Now this is the question: how, in the +name of justice, should our scion have argued the case? Our +readers will think, no doubt, that he would say to himself: 'P-- +showered benefits upon me all my life; he spent tens of thousands +of roubles to educate me, to provide me with governesses, and to +keep me under treatment in Switzerland. Now I am a millionaire, +and P--'s son, a noble young man who is not responsible for the +faults of his careless and forgetful father, is wearing himself +out giving ill-paid lessons. According to justice, all that was +done for me ought to have been done for him. The enormous sums +spent upon me were not really mine; they came to me by an error +of blind Fortune, when they ought to have gone to P--'s son. They +should have gone to benefit him, not me, in whom P-- interested +himself by a mere caprice, instead of doing his duty as a father. +If I wished to behave nobly, justly, and with delicacy, I ought +to bestow half my fortune upon the son of my benefactor; but as +economy is my favourite virtue, and I know this is not a case in +which the law can intervene, I will not give up half my millions. +But it would be too openly vile, too flagrantly infamous, if I +did not at least restore to P--'s son the tens of thousands of +roubles spent in curing my idiocy. This is simply a case of +conscience and of strict justice. Whatever would have become of +me if P-- had not looked after my education, and had taken care +of his own son instead of me?' + +"No, gentlemen, our scions of the nobility do not reason thus. +The lawyer, who had taken up the matter purely out of friendship +to the young man, and almost against his will, invoked every +consideration of justice, delicacy, honour, and even plain +figures; in vain, the ex-patient of the Swiss lunatic asylum was +inflexible. All this might pass, but the sequel is absolutely +unpardonable, and not to be excused by any interesting malady. +This millionaire, having but just discarded the old gaiters of +his professor, could not even understand that the noble young man +slaving away at his lessons was not asking for charitable help, +but for his rightful due, though the debt was not a legal one; +that, correctly speaking, he was not asking for anything, but it +was merely his friends who had thought fit to bestir themselves +on his behalf. With the cool insolence of a bloated capitalist, +secure in his millions, he majestically drew a banknote for fifty +roubles from his pocket-book and sent it to the noble young man +as a humiliating piece of charity. You can hardly believe it, +gentlemen! You are scandalized and disgusted; you cry out in +indignation! But that is what he did! Needless to say, the money +was returned, or rather flung back in his face. The case is not +within the province of the law, it must be referred to the +tribunal of public opinion; this is what we now do, guaranteeing +the truth of all the details which we have related." + +When Colia had finished reading, he handed the paper to the +prince, and retired silently to a corner of the room, hiding his +face in his hands. He was overcome by a feeling of inexpressible +shame; his boyish sensitiveness was wounded beyond endurance. It +seemed to him that something extraordinary, some sudden +catastrophe had occurred, and that he was almost the cause of it, +because he had read the article aloud. + +Yet all the others were similarly affected. The girls were +uncomfortable and ashamed. Lizabetha Prokofievna restrained her +violent anger by a great effort; perhaps she bitterly regretted +her interference in the matter; for the present she kept silence. +The prince felt as very shy people often do in such a case; he +was so ashamed of the conduct of other people, so humiliated for +his guests, that he dared not look them in the face. Ptitsin, +Varia, Gania, and Lebedeff himself, all looked rather confused. +Stranger still, Hippolyte and the "son of Pavlicheff" also seemed +slightly surprised, and Lebedeff's nephew was obviously far from +pleased. The boxer alone was perfectly calm; he twisted his +moustaches with affected dignity, and if his eyes were cast down +it was certainly not in confusion, but rather in noble modesty, +as if he did not wish to be insolent in his triumph. It was +evident that he was delighted with the article. + +"The devil knows what it means," growled Ivan Fedorovitch, under +his breath; "it must have taken the united wits of fifty footmen +to write it." + +"May I ask your reason for such an insulting supposition, sir?" +said Hippolyte, trembling with rage. + +You will admit yourself, general, that for an honourable man, if +the author is an honourable man, that is an--an insult," growled +the boxer suddenly, with convulsive jerkings of his shoulders. + +"In the first place, it is not for you to address me as 'sir,' +and, in the second place, I refuse to give you any explanation," +said Ivan Fedorovitch vehemently; and he rose without another +word, and went and stood on the first step of the flight that led +from the verandah to the street, turning his back on the company. +He was indignant with Lizabetha Prokofievna, who did not think of +moving even now. + +"Gentlemen, gentlemen, let me speak at last," cried the prince, +anxious and agitated. "Please let us understand one another. I +say nothing about the article, gentlemen, except that every word +is false; I say this because you know it as well as I do. It is +shameful. I should be surprised if any one of you could have +written it." + +"I did not know of its existence till this moment," declared +Hippolyte. "I do not approve of it." + +"I knew it had been written, but I would not have advised its +publication," said Lebedeff's nephew, "because it is premature." + +"I knew it, but I have a right. I... I ... "stammered the +"son of Pavlicheff." + +"What! Did you write all that yourself? Is it possible?" asked +the prince, regarding Burdovsky with curiosity. + +"One might dispute your right to ask such questions," observed +Lebedeff's nephew. + +"I was only surprised that Mr. Burdovsky should have--however, +this is what I have to say. Since you had already given the +matter publicity, why did you object just now, when I began to +speak of it to my friends?" + +"At last!" murmured Lizabetha Prokofievna indignantly. + +Lebedeff could restrain himself no longer; he made his way +through the row of chairs. + +"Prince," he cried, "you are forgetting that if you consented to +receive and hear them, it was only because of your kind heart +which has no equal, for they had not the least right to demand +it, especially as you had placed the matter in the hands of +Gavrila Ardalionovitch, which was also extremely kind of you. You +are also forgetting, most excellent prince, that you are with +friends, a select company; you cannot sacrifice them to these +gentlemen, and it is only for you to have them turned out this +instant. As the master of the house I shall have great pleasure +...." + +"Quite right!" agreed General Ivolgin in a loud voice. + +"That will do, Lebedeff, that will do--" began the prince, when +an indignant outcry drowned his words. + +"Excuse me, prince, excuse me, but now that will not do," shouted +Lebedeff's nephew, his voice dominating all the others. "The +matter must be clearly stated, for it is obviously not properly +understood. They are calling in some legal chicanery, and upon +that ground they are threatening to turn us out of the house! +Really, prince, do you think we are such fools as not to be aware +that this matter does not come within the law, and that legally +we cannot claim a rouble from you? But we are also aware that if +actual law is not on our side, human law is for us, natural law, +the law of common-sense and conscience, which is no less binding +upon every noble and honest man--that is, every man of sane +judgment--because it is not to be found in miserable legal codes. +If we come here without fear of being turned out (as was +threatened just now) because of the imperative tone of our +demand, and the unseemliness of such a visit at this late hour +(though it was not late when we arrived, we were kept waiting in +your anteroom), if, I say, we came in without fear, it is just +because we expected to find you a man of sense; I mean, a man of +honour and conscience. It is quite true that we did not present +ourselves humbly, like your flatterers and parasites, but holding +up our heads as befits independent men. We present no petition, +but a proud and free demand (note it well, we do not beseech, we +demand!). We ask you fairly and squarely in a dignified manner. +Do you believe that in this affair of Burdovsky you have right on +your side? Do you admit that Pavlicheff overwhelmed you with +benefits, and perhaps saved your life? If you admit it (which we +take for granted), do you intend, now that you are a millionaire, +and do you not think it in conformity with justice, to indemnify +Burdovsky? Yes or no? If it is yes, or, in other words, if you +possess what you call honour and conscience, and we more justly +call common-sense, then accede to our demand, and the matter is +at an end. Give us satisfaction, without entreaties or thanks +from us; do not expect thanks from us, for what you do will be +done not for our sake, but for the sake of justice. If you refuse +to satisfy us, that is, if your answer is no, we will go away at +once, and there will be an end of the matter. But we will tell +you to your face before the present company that you are a man of +vulgar and undeveloped mind; we will openly deny you the right to +speak in future of your honour and conscience, for you have not +paid the fair price of such a right. I have no more to say--I +have put the question before you. Now turn us out if you dare. +You can do it; force is on your side. But remember that we do not +beseech, we demand! We do not beseech, we demand!" + +With these last excited words, Lebedeff's nephew was silent. + +"We demand, we demand, we demand, we do not beseech," spluttered +Burdovsky, red as a lobster. + +The speech of Lebedeff's nephew caused a certain stir among the +company; murmurs arose, though with the exception of Lebedeff, +who was still very much excited, everyone was careful not to +interfere in the matter. Strangely enough, Lebedeff, although on +the prince's side, seemed quite proud of his nephew's eloquence. +Gratified vanity was visible in the glances he cast upon the +assembled company. + +"In my opinion, Mr. Doktorenko," said the prince, in rather a low +voice, "you are quite right in at least half of what you say. I +would go further and say that you are altogether right, and that +I quite agree with you, if there were not something lacking in +your speech. I cannot undertake to say precisely what it is, but +you have certainly omitted something, and you cannot be quite +just while there is something lacking. But let us put that aside +and return to the point. Tell me what induced you to publish this +article. Every word of it is a calumny, and I think, gentlemen, +that you have been guilty of a mean action." + +"Allow me--" + +"Sir--" + +"What? What? What?" cried all the visitors at once, in violent +agitation. + +"As to the article," said Hippolyte in his croaking voice, "I +have told you already that we none of us approve of it! There is +the writer," he added, pointing to the boxer, who sat beside him. +"I quite admit that he has written it in his old regimental +manner, with an equal disregard for style and decency. I know he +is a cross between a fool and an adventurer; I make no bones +about telling him so to his face every day. But after all he is +half justified; publicity is the lawful right of every man; +consequently, Burdovsky is not excepted. Let him answer for his +own blunders. As to the objection which I made just now in the +name of all, to the presence of your friends, I think I ought to +explain, gentlemen, that I only did so to assert our rights, +though we really wished to have witnesses; we had agreed +unanimously upon the point before we came in. We do not care who +your witnesses may be, or whether they are your friends or not. +As they cannot fail to recognize Burdovsky's right (seeing that +it is mathematically demonstrable), it is just as well that the +witnesses should be your friends. The truth will only be more +plainly evident." + +"It is quite true; we had agreed upon that point," said +Lebedeff's nephew, in confirmation. + +"If that is the case, why did you begin by making such a fuss +about it?" asked the astonished prince. + +The boxer was dying to get in a few words; owing, no doubt, to +the presence of the ladies, he was becoming quite jovial. + +"As to the article, prince," he said, "I admit that I wrote it, +in spite of the severe criticism of my poor friend, in whom I +always overlook many things because of his unfortunate state of +health. But I wrote and published it in the form of a letter, in +the paper of a friend. I showed it to no one but Burdovsky, and I +did not read it all through, even to him. He immediately gave me +permission to publish it, but you will admit that I might have +done so without his consent. Publicity is a noble, beneficent, +and universal right. I hope, prince, that you are too progressive +to deny this?" + +"I deny nothing, but you must confess that your article--" + +"Is a bit thick, you mean? Well, in a way that is in the public +interest; you will admit that yourself, and after all one cannot +overlook a blatant fact. So much the worse for the guilty +parties, but the public welfare must come before everything. As +to certain inaccuracies and figures of speech, so to speak, you +will also admit that the motive, aim, and intention, are the +chief thing. It is a question, above all, of making a wholesome +example; the individual case can be examined afterwards; and as +to the style--well, the thing was meant to be humorous, so to +speak, and, after all, everybody writes like that; you must admit +it yourself! Ha, ha!" + +"But, gentlemen, I assure you that you are quite astray," +exclaimed the prince. "You have published this article upon the +supposition that I would never consent to satisfy Mr. Burdovsky. +Acting on that conviction, you have tried to intimidate me by +this publication and to be revenged for my supposed refusal. But +what did you know of my intentions? It may be that I have +resolved to satisfy Mr. Burdovsky's claim. I now declare openly, +in the presence of these witnesses, that I will do so." + +"The noble and intelligent word of an intelligent and most noble +man, at last!" exclaimed the boxer. + +"Good God!" exclaimed Lizabetha Prokofievna involuntarily. + +"This is intolerable," growled the general. + +"Allow me, gentlemen, allow me," urged the prince. + +"I will explain matters to you. Five weeks ago I received a visit +from Tchebaroff, your agent, Mr. Burdovsky. You have given a very +flattering description of him in your article, Mr. Keller," he +continued, turning to the boxer with a smile, "but he did not +please me at all. I saw at once that Tchebaroff was the moving +spirit in the matter, and, to speak frankly, I thought he might +have induced you, Mr. Burdovsky, to make this claim, by taking +advantage of your simplicity." + +"You have no right.... I am not simple," stammered Burdovsky, +much agitated. + +"You have no sort of right to suppose such things," said +Lebedeff's nephew in a tone of authority. + +"It is most offensive!" shrieked Hippolyte; "it is an insulting +suggestion, false, and most ill-timed." + +"I beg your pardon, gentlemen; please excuse me," said the +prince. "I thought absolute frankness on both sides would be +best, but have it your own way. I told Tchebaroff that, as I was +not in Petersburg, I would commission a friend to look into the +matter without delay, and that I would let you know, Mr. +Burdovsky. Gentlemen, I have no hesitation in telling you that it +was the fact of Tchebaroff's intervention that made me suspect a +fraud. Oh! do not take offence at my words, gentlemen, for +Heaven's sake do not be so touchy!" cried the prince, seeing that +Burdovsky was getting excited again, and that the rest were +preparing to protest. "If I say I suspected a fraud, there is +nothing personal in that. I had never seen any of you then; I did +not even know your names; I only judged by Tchebaroff; I am +speaking quite generally--if you only knew how I have been 'done' +since I came into my fortune!" + +"You are shockingly naive, prince," said Lebedeff's nephew in +mocking tones. + +"Besides, though you are a prince and a millionaire, and even +though you may really be simple and good-hearted, you can hardly +be outside the general law," Hippolyte declared loudly. + +"Perhaps not; it is very possible," the prince agreed hastily, +"though I do not know what general law you allude to. I will go +on--only please do not take offence without good cause. I assure +you I do not mean to offend you in the least. Really, it is +impossible to speak three words sincerely without your flying +into a rage! At first I was amazed when Tchebaroff told me that +Pavlicheff had a son, and that he was in such a miserable +position. Pavlicheff was my benefactor, and my father's friend. +Oh, Mr. Keller, why does your article impute things to my father +without the slightest foundation? He never squandered the funds +of his company nor ill-treated his subordinates, I am absolutely +certain of it; I cannot imagine how you could bring yourself to +write such a calumny! But your assertions concerning Pavlicheff +are absolutely intolerable! You do not scruple to make a +libertine of that noble man; you call him a sensualist as coolly +as if you were speaking the truth, and yet it would not be +possible to find a chaster man. He was even a scholar of note, +and in correspondence with several celebrated scientists, and +spent large sums in the interests of science. As to his kind +heart and his good actions, you were right indeed when you said +that I was almost an idiot at that time, and could hardly +understand anything--(I could speak and understand Russian, +though),--but now I can appreciate what I remember--" + +"Excuse me," interrupted Hippolyte, "is not this rather +sentimental? You said you wished to come to the point; please +remember that it is after nine o'clock." + +"Very well, gentlemen--very well," replied the prince. "At first +I received the news with mistrust, then I said to myself that I +might be mistaken, and that Pavlicheff might possibly have had a +son. But I was absolutely amazed at the readiness with which the +son had revealed the secret of his birth at the expense of his +mother's honour. For Tchebaroff had already menaced me with +publicity in our interview. . . ." + +"What nonsense!" Lebedeff's nephew interrupted violently. + +"You have no right--you have no right!" cried Burdovsky. + +"The son is not responsible for the misdeeds of his father; and +the mother is not to blame," added Hippolyte, with warmth. + +"That seems to me all the more reason for sparing her," said the +prince timidly. + +"Prince, you are not only simple, but your simplicity is almost +past the limit," said Lebedeff's nephew, with a sarcastic smile. + +"But what right had you?" said Hippolyte in a very strange tone. + +"None--none whatever," agreed the prince hastily. "I admit you +are right there, but it was involuntary, and I immediately said +to myself that my personal feelings had nothing to do with it,-- +that if I thought it right to satisfy the demands of Mr. +Burdovsky, out of respect for the memory of Pavlicheff, I ought +to do so in any case, whether I esteemed Mr. Burdovsky or not. I +only mentioned this, gentlemen, because it seemed so unnatural to +me for a son to betray his mother's secret in such a way. In +short, that is what convinced me that Tchebaroff must be a rogue, +and that he had induced Mr. Burdovsky to attempt this fraud." + +"But this is intolerable!" cried the visitors, some of them +starting to their feet. + +"Gentlemen, I supposed from this that poor Mr. Burdovsky must be +a simple-minded man, quite defenceless, and an easy tool in the +hands of rogues. That is why I thought it my duty to try and help +him as 'Pavlicheff's son'; in the first place by rescuing him +from the influence of Tchebaroff, and secondly by making myself +his friend. I have resolved to give him ten thousand roubles; +that is about the sum which I calculate that Pavlicheff must have +spent on me." + +"What, only ten thousand!" cried Hippolyte. + +"Well, prince, your arithmetic is not up to much, or else you are +mighty clever at it, though you affect the air of a simpleton," +said Lebedeff's nephew. + +"I will not accept ten thousand roubles," said Burdovsky. + +"Accept, Antip," whispered the boxer eagerly, leaning past the +back of Hippolyte's chair to give his friend this piece of +advice. "Take it for the present; we can see about more later +on." + +"Look here, Mr. Muishkin," shouted Hippolyte, "please understand +that we are not fools, nor idiots, as your guests seem to +imagine; these ladies who look upon us with such scorn, and +especially this fine gentleman" (pointing to Evgenie Pavlovitch) +"whom I have not the honour of knowing, though I think I have +heard some talk about him--" + +"Really, really, gentlemen," cried the prince in great agitation, +"you are misunderstanding me again. In the first place, Mr. +Keller, you have greatly overestimated my fortune in your +article. I am far from being a millionaire. I have barely a tenth +of what you suppose. Secondly, my treatment in Switzerland was +very far from costing tens of thousands of roubles. Schneider +received six hundred roubles a year, and he was only paid for the +first three years. As to the pretty governesses whom Pavlicheff +is supposed to have brought from Paris, they only exist in Mr. +Keller's imagination; it is another calumny. According to my +calculations, the sum spent on me was very considerably under ten +thousand roubles, but I decided on that sum, and you must admit +that in paying a debt I could not offer Mr. Burdovsky more, +however kindly disposed I might be towards him; delicacy forbids +it; I should seem to be offering him charity instead of rightful +payment. I don't know how you cannot see that, gentlemen! +Besides, I had no intention of leaving the matter there. I meant +to intervene amicably later on and help to improve poor Mr. +Burdovsky's position. It is clear that he has been deceived, or +he would never have agreed to anything so vile as the scandalous +revelations about his mother in Mr. Keller's article. But, +gentlemen, why are you getting angry again? Are we never to come +to an understanding? Well, the event has proved me right! I have +just seen with my own eyes the proof that my conjecture was +correct!" he added, with increasing eagerness. + +He meant to calm his hearers, and did not perceive that his words +had only increased their irritation. + +"What do you mean? What are you convinced of?" they demanded +angrily. + +"In the first place, I have had the opportunity of getting a +correct idea of Mr. Burdovsky. I see what he is for myself. He is +an innocent man, deceived by everyone! A defenceless victim, who +deserves indulgence! Secondly, Gavrila Ardalionovitch, in whose +hands I had placed the matter, had his first interview with me +barely an hour ago. I had not heard from him for some time, as I +was away, and have been ill for three days since my return to St. +Petersburg. He tells me that he has exposed the designs of +Tchebaroff and has proof that justifies my opinion of him. I +know, gentlemen, that many people think me an idiot. Counting +upon my reputation as a man whose purse-strings are easily +loosened, Tchebaroff thought it would be a simple matter to +fleece me, especially by trading on my gratitude to Pavlicheff. +But the main point is--listen, gentlemen, let me finish!--the main +point is that Mr. Burdovsky is not Pavlicheff's son at all. +Gavrila Ardalionovitch has just told me of his discovery, and +assures me that he has positive proofs. Well, what do you think +of that? It is scarcely credible, even after all the tricks that +have been played upon me. Please note that we have positive +proofs! I can hardly believe it myself, I assure you; I do not +yet believe it; I am still doubtful, because Gavrila +Ardalionovitch has not had time to go into details; but there can +be no further doubt that Tchebaroff is a rogue! He has deceived +poor Mr. Burdovsky, and all of you, gentlemen, who have come +forward so nobly to support your friend--(he evidently needs +support, I quite see that!). He has abused your credulity and +involved you all in an attempted fraud, for when all is said and +done this claim is nothing else!" + +"What! a fraud? What, he is not Pavlicheff's son? Impossible!" + +These exclamations but feebly expressed the profound bewilderment +into which the prince's words had plunged Burdovsky's companions. + +"Certainly it is a fraud! Since Mr. Burdovsky is not Pavlicheff's +son, his claim is neither more nor less than attempted fraud +(supposing, of course, that he had known the truth), but the fact +is that he has been deceived. I insist on this point in order to +justify him; I repeat that his simple-mindedness makes him worthy +of pity, and that he cannot stand alone; otherwise he would have +behaved like a scoundrel in this matter. But I feel certain that +he does not understand it! I was just the same myself before I +went to Switzerland; I stammered incoherently; one tries to +express oneself and cannot. I understand that. I am all the +better able to pity Mr. Burdovsky, because I know from experience +what it is to be like that, and so I have a right to speak. Well, +though there is no such person as 'Pavlicheff's son,' and it is +all nothing but a humbug, yet I will keep to my decision, and I +am prepared to give up ten thousand roubles in memory of +Pavlicheff. Before Mr. Burdovsky made this claim, I proposed to +found a school with this money, in memory of my benefactor, but I +shall honour his memory quite as well by giving the ten thousand +roubles to Mr. Burdovsky, because, though he was not Pavlicheff's +son, he was treated almost as though he were. That is what gave a +rogue the opportunity of deceiving him; he really did think +himself Pavlicheff's son. Listen, gentlemen; this matter must be +settled; keep calm; do not get angry; and sit down! Gavrila +Ardalionovitch will explain everything to you at once, and I +confess that I am very anxious to hear all the details myself. He +says that he has even been to Pskoff to see your mother, Mr. +Burdovsky; she is not dead, as the article which was just read to +us makes out. Sit down, gentlemen, sit down!" + +The prince sat down, and at length prevailed upon Burdovsky's +company to do likewise. During the last ten or twenty minutes, +exasperated by continual interruptions, he had raised his voice, +and spoken with great vehemence. Now, no doubt, he bitterly +regretted several words and expressions which had escaped him in +his excitement. If he had not been driven beyond the limits of +endurance, he would not have ventured to express certain +conjectures so openly. He had no sooner sat down than his heart +was torn by sharp remorse. Besides insulting Burdovsky with the +supposition, made in the presence of witnesses, that he was +suffering from the complaint for which he had himself been +treated in Switzerland, he reproached himself with the grossest +indelicacy in having offered him the ten thousand roubles before +everyone. "I ought to have waited till to-morrow and offered him +the money when we were alone," thought Muishkin. "Now it is too +late, the mischief is done! Yes, I am an idiot, an absolute +idiot!" he said to himself, overcome with shame and regret. + +Till then Gavrila Ardalionovitch had sat apart in silence. When +the prince called upon him, he came and stood by his side, and in +a calm, clear voice began to render an account of the mission +confided to him. All conversation ceased instantly. Everyone, +especially the Burdovsky party, listened with the utmost +curiosity. + +IX. + +"You will not deny, I am sure," said Gavrila Ardalionovitch, +turning to Burdovsky, who sat looking at him with wide-open eyes, +perplexed and astonished. You will not deny, seriously, that you +were born just two years after your mother's legal marriage to +Mr. Burdovsky, your father. Nothing would be easier than to prove +the date of your birth from well-known facts; we can only look on +Mr. Keller's version as a work of imagination, and one, moreover, +extremely offensive both to you and your mother. Of course he +distorted the truth in order to strengthen your claim, and to +serve your interests. Mr. Keller said that he previously +consulted you about his article in the paper, but did not read it +to you as a whole. Certainly he could not have read that passage. +.. . . + +"As a matter of fact, I did not read it," interrupted the boxer, +"but its contents had been given me on unimpeachable authority, +and I . . ." + +"Excuse me, Mr. Keller," interposed Gavrila Ardalionovitch. +"Allow me to speak. I assure you your article shall be mentioned +in its proper place, and you can then explain everything, but for +the moment I would rather not anticipate. Quite accidentally, +with the help of my sister, Varvara Ardalionovna Ptitsin, I +obtained from one of her intimate friends, Madame Zoubkoff, a +letter written to her twenty-five years ago, by Nicolai +Andreevitch Pavlicheff, then abroad. After getting into +communication with this lady, I went by her advice to Timofei +Fedorovitch Viazovkin, a retired colonel, and one of Pavlicheff's +oldest friends. He gave me two more letters written by the latter +when he was still in foreign parts. These three documents, their +dates, and the facts mentioned in them, prove in the most +undeniable manner, that eighteen months before your birth, +Nicolai Andreevitch went abroad, where he remained for three +consecutive years. Your mother, as you are well aware, has never +been out of Russia. . . . It is too late to read the letters now; +I am content to state the fact. But if you desire it, come to me +tomorrow morning, bring witnesses and writing experts with you, +and I will prove the absolute truth of my story. From that moment +the question will be decided." + +These words caused a sensation among the listeners, and there was +a general movement of relief. Burdovsky got up abruptly. + +"If that is true," said he, "I have been deceived, grossly +deceived, but not by Tchebaroff: and for a long time past, a long +time. I do not wish for experts, not I, nor to go to see you. I +believe you. I give it up.... But I refuse the ten thousand +roubles. Good-bye." + +"Wait five minutes more, Mr. Burdovsky," said Gavrila +Ardalionovitch pleasantly. "I have more to say. Some rather +curious and important facts have come to light, and it is +absolutely necessary, in my opinion, that you should hear them. +You will not regret, I fancy, to have the whole matter thoroughly +cleared up." + +Burdovsky silently resumed his seat, and bent his head as though +in profound thought. His friend, Lebedeff's nephew, who had risen +to accompany him, also sat down again. He seemed much disappointed, +though as self-confident as ever. Hippolyte looked dejected and +sulky, as well as surprised. He had just been attacked by a violent +fit of coughing, so that his handkerchief was stained with blood. +The boxer looked thoroughly frightened. + +"Oh, Antip!" cried he in a miserable voice, "I did say to you the +other day--the day before yesterday--that perhaps you were not +really Pavlicheff's son!" + +There were sounds of half-smothered laughter at this. + +"Now, that is a valuable piece of information, Mr. Keller," +replied Gania. "However that may be, I have private information +which convinces me that Mr. Burdovsky, though doubtless aware of +the date of his birth, knew nothing at all about Pavlicheff's +sojourn abroad. Indeed, he passed the greater part of his life +out of Russia, returning at intervals for short visits. The +journey in question is in itself too unimportant for his friends +to recollect it after more than twenty years; and of course Mr. +Burdovsky could have known nothing about it, for he was not born. +As the event has proved, it was not impossible to find evidence +of his absence, though I must confess that chance has helped me +in a quest which might very well have come to nothing. It was +really almost impossible for Burdovsky or Tchebaroff to discover +these facts, even if it had entered their heads to try. Naturally +they never dreamt... + +Here the voice of Hippolyte suddenly intervened. + +"Allow me, Mr. Ivolgin," he said irritably. "What is the good of +all this rigmarole? Pardon me. All is now clear, and we +acknowledge the truth of your main point. Why go into these +tedious details? You wish perhaps to boast of the cleverness of +your investigation, to cry up your talents as detective? Or +perhaps your intention is to excuse Burdovsky, by roving that he +took up the matter in ignorance? Well, I consider that extremely +impudent on your part! You ought to know that Burdovsky has no +need of being excused or justified by you or anyone else! It is +an insult! The affair is quite painful enough for him without +that. Will nothing make you understand?" + +"Enough! enough! Mr. Terentieff," interrupted Gania. + +"Don't excite yourself; you seem very ill, and I am sorry for +that. I am almost done, but there are a few facts to which I +must briefly refer, as I am convinced that they ought to be +clearly explained once for all. . . ." A movement of impatience +was noticed in his audience as he resumed: "I merely wish to +state, for the information of all concerned, that the reason for +Mr. Pavlicheff's interest in your mother, Mr. Burdovsky, was +simply that she was the sister of a serf-girl with whom he was +deeply in love in his youth, and whom most certainly he would +have married but for her sudden death. I have proofs that this +circumstance is almost, if not quite, forgotten. I may add that +when your mother was about ten years old, Pavlicheff took her +under his care, gave her a good education, and later, a +considerable dowry. His relations were alarmed, and feared he +might go so far as to marry her, but she gave her hand to a young +land-surveyor named Burdovsky when she reached the age of twenty. +I can even say definitely that it was a marriage of affection. +After his wedding your father gave up his occupation as land- +surveyor, and with his wife's dowry of fifteen thousand roubles +went in for commercial speculations. As he had had no experience, +he was cheated on all sides, and took to drink in order to forget +his troubles. He shortened his life by his excesses, and eight +years after his marriage he died. Your mother says herself that +she was left in the direst poverty, and would have died of +starvation had it not been for Pavlicheff, who generously allowed +her a yearly pension of six hundred roubles. Many people recall +his extreme fondness for you as a little boy. Your mother +confirms this, and agrees with others in thinking that he loved +you the more because you were a sickly child, stammering in your +speech, and almost deformed--for it is known that all his life +Nicolai Andreevitch had a partiality for unfortunates of every +kind, especially children. In my opinion this is most important. +I may add that I discovered yet another fact, the last on which I +employed my detective powers. Seeing how fond Pavlicheff was of +you,--it was thanks to him you went to school, and also had the +advantage of special teachers--his relations and servants grew to +believe that you were his son, and that your father had been +betrayed by his wife. I may point out that this idea was only +accredited generally during the last years of Pavlicheff's life, +when his next-of-kin were trembling about the succession, when +the earlier story was quite forgotten, and when all opportunity +for discovering the truth had seemingly passed away. No doubt you, +Mr. Burdovsky, heard this conjecture, and did not hesitate to accept +it as true. I have had the honour of making your mother's acquaintance, +and I find that she knows all about these reports. What she does +not know is that you, her son, should have listened to them so +complaisantly. I found your respected mother at Pskoff, ill and +in deep poverty, as she has been ever since the death of your +benefactor. She told me with tears of gratitude how you had +supported her; she expects much of you, and believes fervently +in your future success..." + +"Oh, this is unbearable!" said Lebedeff's nephew impatiently. +"What is the good of all this romancing?" + +"It is revolting and unseemly!" cried Hippolyte, jumping up in a +fury. + +Burdovsky alone sat silent and motionless. + +"What is the good of it?" repeated Gavrila Ardalionovitch, with +pretended surprise. "Well, firstly, because now perhaps Mr. +Burdovsky is quite convinced that Mr. Pavlicheff's love for him +came simply from generosity of soul, and not from paternal duty. +It was most necessary to impress this fact upon his mind, +considering that he approved of the article written by Mr. +Keller. I speak thus because I look on you, Mr. Burdovsky, as an +honourable man. Secondly, it appears that there was no intention +of cheating in this case, even on the part of Tchebaroff. I wish +to say this quite plainly, because the prince hinted a while ago +that I too thought it an attempt at robbery and extortion. On the +contrary, everyone has been quite sincere in the matter, and +although Tchebaroff may be somewhat of a rogue, in this business +he has acted simply as any sharp lawyer would do under the +circumstances. He looked at it as a case that might bring him in +a lot of money, and he did not calculate badly; because on the +one hand he speculated on the generosity of the prince, and his +gratitude to the late Mr. Pavlicheff, and on the other to his +chivalrous ideas as to the obligations of honour and conscience. +As to Mr. Burdovsky, allowing for his principles, we may +acknowledge that he engaged in the business with very little +personal aim in view. At the instigation of Tchebaroff and his +other friends, he decided to make the attempt in the service of +truth, progress, and humanity. In short, the conclusion may be +drawn that, in spite of all appearances, Mr. Burdovsky is a man +of irreproachable character, and thus the prince can all the more +readily offer him his friendship, and the assistance of which he +spoke just now..." + +"Hush! hush! Gavrila Ardalionovitch!" cried Muishkin in dismay, +but it was too late. + +"I said, and I have repeated it over and over again," shouted +Burdovsky furiously, "that I did not want the money. I will not +take it... why...I will not... I am going away!" + +He was rushing hurriedly from the terrace, when Lebedeff's nephew +seized his arms, and said something to him in a low voice. +Burdovsky turned quickly, and drawing an addressed but unsealed +envelope from his pocket, he threw it down on a little table +beside the prince. + +"There's the money!... How dare you?...The money!" + +"Those are the two hundred and fifty roubles you dared to send +him as a charity, by the hands of Tchebaroff," explained +Doktorenko. + +"The article in the newspaper put it at fifty!" cried Colia. + +"I beg your pardon," said the prince, going up to Burdovsky. "I +have done you a great wrong, but I did not send you that money as +a charity, believe me. And now I am again to blame. I offended +you just now." (The prince was much distressed; he seemed worn +out with fatigue, and spoke almost incoherently.) "I spoke of +swindling... but I did not apply that to you. I was deceived +.... I said you were... afflicted... like me... But you are +not like me... you give lessons... you support your mother. I +said you had dishonoured your mother, but you love her. She says +so herself... I did not know... Gavrila Ardalionovitch did +not tell me that... Forgive me! I dared to offer you ten +thousand roubles, but I was wrong. I ought to have done it +differently, and now... there is no way of doing it, for you +despise me..." + +"I declare, this is a lunatic asylum!" cried Lizabetha +Prokofievna. + +"Of course it is a lunatic asylum!" repeated Aglaya sharply, but +her words were overpowered by other voices. Everybody was talking +loudly, making remarks and comments; some discussed the affair +gravely, others laughed. Ivan Fedorovitch Epanchin was extremely +indignant. He stood waiting for his wife with an air of offended +dignity. Lebedeff's nephew took up the word again. + +"Well, prince, to do you justice, you certainly know how to make +the most of your--let us call it infirmity, for the sake of +politeness; you have set about offering your money and friendship +in such a way that no self-respecting man could possibly accept +them. This is an excess of ingenuousness or of malice--you ought +to know better than anyone which word best fits the case." + +"Allow me, gentlemen," said Gavrila Ardalionovitch, who had just +examined the contents of the envelope, "there are only a hundred +roubles here, not two hundred and fifty. I point this out, +prince, to prevent misunderstanding." + +"Never mind, never mind," said the prince, signing to him to keep +quiet. + +"But we do mind," said Lebedeff's nephew vehemently. "Prince, +your 'never mind' is an insult to us. We have nothing to hide; +our actions can bear daylight. It is true that there are only a +hundred roubles instead of two hundred and fifty, but it is all +the same." + +"Why, no, it is hardly the same," remarked Gavrila +Ardalionovitch, with an air of ingenuous surprise. + +"Don't interrupt, we are not such fools as you think, Mr. +Lawyer," cried Lebedeff's nephew angrily. "Of course there is a +difference between a hundred roubles and two hundred and fifty, +but in this case the principle is the main point, and that a +hundred and fifty roubles are missing is only a side issue. The +point to be emphasized is that Burdovsky will not accept your +highness's charity; he flings it back in your face, and it +scarcely matters if there are a hundred roubles or two hundred +and fifty. Burdovsky has refused ten thousand roubles; you heard +him. He would not have returned even a hundred roubles if he was +dishonest! The hundred and fifty roubles were paid to Tchebaroff +for his travelling expenses. You may jeer at our stupidity and at +our inexperience in business matters; you have done all you could +already to make us look ridiculous; but do not dare to call us +dishonest. The four of us will club together every day to repay +the hundred and fifty roubles to the prince, if we have to pay it +in instalments of a rouble at a time, but we will repay it, with +interest. Burdovsky is poor, he has no millions. After his +journey to see the prince Tchebaroff sent in his bill. We counted +on winning... Who would not have done the same in such a case?" + +"Who indeed?" exclaimed Prince S. + +"I shall certainly go mad, if I stay here!" cried Lizabetha +Prokofievna. + +"It reminds me," said Evgenie Pavlovitch, laughing, "of the +famous plea of a certain lawyer who lately defended a man for +murdering six people in order to rob them. He excused his client +on the score of poverty. 'It is quite natural,' he said in +conclusion, 'considering the state of misery he was in, that he +should have thought of murdering these six people; which of you, +gentlemen, would not have done the same in his place?'" + +"Enough," cried Lizabetha Prokofievna abruptly, trembling with +anger, "we have had enough of this balderdash!" + +In a state of terrible excitement she threw back her head, with +flaming eyes, casting looks of contempt and defiance upon the +whole company, in which she could no longer distinguish friend +from foe. She had restrained herself so long that she felt forced +to vent her rage on somebody. Those who knew Lizabetha +Prokofievna saw at once how it was with her. "She flies into +these rages sometimes," said Ivan Fedorovitch to Prince S. the +next day, "but she is not often so violent as she was yesterday; +it does not happen more than once in three years." + +"Be quiet, Ivan Fedorovitch! Leave me alone!" cried Mrs. +Epanchin. "Why do you offer me your arm now? You had not sense +enough to take me away before. You are my husband, you are a +father, it was your duty to drag me away by force, if in my folly +I refused to obey you and go quietly. You might at least have +thought of your daughters. We can find our way out now without +your help. Here is shame enough for a year! Wait a moment 'till I +thank the prince! Thank you, prince, for the entertainment you +have given us! It was most amusing to hear these young men... It +is vile, vile! A chaos, a scandal, worse than a nightmare! Is it +possible that there can be many such people on earth? Be quiet, +Aglaya! Be quiet, Alexandra! It is none of your business! Don't +fuss round me like that, Evgenie Pavlovitch; you exasperate me! +So, my dear," she cried, addressing the prince, "you go so far as +to beg their pardon! He says, 'Forgive me for offering you a +fortune.' And you, you mountebank, what are you laughing at?" she +cried, turning suddenly on Lebedeff's nephew. "'We refuse ten +thousand roubles; we do not beseech, we demand!' As if he did not +know that this idiot will call on them tomorrow to renew his +offers of money and friendship. You will, won't you? You will? +Come, will you, or won't you?" + +"I shall," said the prince, with gentle humility. + +"You hear him! You count upon it, too," she continued, turning +upon Doktorenko. "You are as sure of him now as if you had the +money in your pocket. And there you are playing the swaggerer to +throw dust in our eyes! No, my dear sir, you may take other +people in! I can see through all your airs and graces, I see your +game!" + +"Lizabetha Prokofievna!" exclaimed the prince. + +"Come, Lizabetha Prokofievna, it is quite time for us to be +going, we will take the prince with us," said Prince S. with a +smile, in the coolest possible way. + +The girls stood apart, almost frightened; their father was +positively horrified. Mrs. Epanchin's language astonished +everybody. Some who stood a little way off smiled furtively, and +talked in whispers. Lebedeff wore an expression of utmost +ecstasy. + +"Chaos and scandal are to be found everywhere, madame," remarked +Doktorenko, who was considerably put out of countenance. + +"Not like this! Nothing like the spectacle you have just given +us, sir," answered Lizabetha Prokofievna, with a sort of +hysterical rage. "Leave me alone, will you?" she cried violently +to those around her, who were trying to keep her quiet. "No, +Evgenie Pavlovitch, if, as you said yourself just now, a lawyer +said in open court that he found it quite natural that a man +should murder six people because he was in misery, the world must +be coming to an end. I had not heard of it before. Now I +understand everything. And this stutterer, won't he turn out a +murderer?" she cried, pointing to Burdovsky, who was staring at +her with stupefaction. "I bet he will! He will have none of your +money, possibly, he will refuse it because his conscience will +not allow him to accept it, but he will go murdering you by night +and walking off with your cashbox, with a clear conscience! He +does not call it a dishonest action but 'the impulse of a noble +despair'; 'a negation'; or the devil knows what! Bah! everything +is upside down, everyone walks head downwards. A young girl, +brought up at home, suddenly jumps into a cab in the middle of +the street, saying: 'Good-bye, mother, I married Karlitch, or +Ivanitch, the other day!' And you think it quite right? You call +such conduct estimable and natural? The 'woman question'? Look +here," she continued, pointing to Colia, "the other day that +whippersnapper told me that this was the whole meaning of the +'woman question.' But even supposing that your mother is a fool, +you are none the less, bound to treat her with humanity. Why did +you come here tonight so insolently? 'Give us our rights, but +don't dare to speak in our presence. Show us every mark of +deepest respect, while we treat you like the scum of the earth.' +The miscreants have written a tissue of calumny in their article, +and these are the men who seek for truth, and do battle for the +right! 'We do not beseech, we demand, you will get no thanks from +us, because you will be acting to satisfy your own conscience!' +What morality! But, good. heavens! if you declare that the +prince's generosity will, excite no gratitude in you, he might +answer that he is not, bound to be grateful to Pavlicheff, who +also was only satisfying his own conscience. But you counted on +the prince's, gratitude towards Pavlicheff; you never lent him +any money; he owes you nothing; then what were you counting upon +if not on his gratitude? And if you appeal to that sentiment in +others, why should you expect to be exempted from it? They are +mad! They say society is savage and. inhuman because it despises +a young girl who has been seduced. But if you call society +inhuman you imply that the young girl is made to suffer by its +censure. How then, can you hold her up to the scorn of society in +the newspapers without realizing that you are making her +suffering, still greater? Madmen! Vain fools! They don't believe +in God, they don't believe in Christ! But you are so eaten. up by +pride and vanity, that you will end by devouring each other--that +is my prophecy! Is not this absurd? Is it not monstrous chaos? +And after all this, that shameless creature will go and beg their +pardon! Are there many people like you? What are you smiling at? +Because I am not ashamed to disgrace myself before you?--Yes, I +am disgraced--it can't be helped now! But don't you jeer at me, +you scum!" (this was aimed at Hippolyte). "He is almost at his +last gasp, yet he corrupts others. You, have got hold of this lad +"--(she pointed to Colia); "you, have turned his head, you have +taught him to be an atheist, you don't believe in God, and you +are not too old to be whipped, sir! A plague upon you! And so, +Prince Lef Nicolaievitch, you will call on them tomorrow, will +you?" she asked the prince breathlessly, for the second time. + +"Yes." + +"Then I will never speak to you again." She made a sudden +movement to go, and then turned quickly back. "And you will call +on that atheist?" she continued, pointing to Hippolyte. "How dare +you grin at me like that?" she shouted furiously, rushing at the +invalid, whose mocking smile drove her to distraction. + +Exclamations arose on all sides. + +"Lizabetha Prokofievna! Lizabetha Prokofievna! Lizabetha +Prokofievna!" + +"Mother, this is disgraceful!" cried Aglaya. + +Mrs. Epanchin had approached Hippolyte and seized him firmly by +the arm, while her eyes, blazing with fury, were fixed upon his +face. + +"Do not distress yourself, Aglaya Ivanovitch," he answered +calmly; "your mother knows that one cannot strike a dying man. I +am ready to explain why I was laughing. I shall be delighted if +you will let me--" + +A violent fit of coughing, which lasted a full minute, prevented +him from finishing his sentence. + +"He is dying, yet he will not stop holding forth!" cried +Lizabetha Prokofievna. She loosed her hold on his arm, almost +terrified, as she saw him wiping the blood from his lips. "Why do +you talk? You ought to go home to bed." + +"So I will," he whispered hoarsely. "As soon as I get home I will +go to bed at once; and I know I shall be dead in a fortnight; +Botkine told me so himself last week. That is why I should like +to say a few farewell words, if you will let me." + +"But you must be mad! It is ridiculous! You should take care of +yourself; what is the use of holding a conversation now? Go home +to bed, do!" cried Mrs. Epanchin in horror. + +"When I do go to bed I shall never get up again," said Hippolyte, +with a smile. "I meant to take to my bed yesterday and stay there +till I died, but as my legs can still carry me, I put it off for +two days, so as to come here with them to-day--but I am very +tired." + +"Oh, sit down, sit down, why are you standing?" + +Lizabetha Prokofievna placed a chair for him with her own hands. + +"Thank you," he said gently. "Sit opposite to me, and let us +talk. We must have a talk now, Lizabetha Prokofievna; I am very +anxious for it." He smiled at her once more. "Remember that +today, for the last time, I am out in the air, and in the company +of my fellow-men, and that in a fortnight I shall I certainly be +no longer in this world. So, in a way, this is my farewell to +nature and to men. I am not very sentimental, but do you know, I +am quite glad that all this has happened at Pavlofsk, where at +least one can see a green tree." + +"But why talk now?" replied Lizabetha Prokofievna, more and more +alarmed; "are quite feverish. Just now you would not stop +shouting, and now you can hardly breathe. You are gasping." + +"I shall have time to rest. Why will you not grant my last wish? +Do you know, Lizabetha Prokofievna, that I have dreamed of +meeting you for a long while? I had often heard of you from +Colia; he is almost the only person who still comes to see me. +You are an original and eccentric woman; I have seen that for +myself--Do you know, I have even been rather fond of you?" + +"Good heavens! And I very nearly struck him!" + +"You were prevented by Aglaya Ivanovna. I think I am not +mistaken? That is your daughter, Aglaya Ivanovna? She is so +beautiful that I recognized her directly, although I had never +seen her before. Let me, at least, look on beauty for the last +time in my life," he said with a wry smile. "You are here with +the prince, and your husband, and a large company. Why should you +refuse to gratify my last wish?" + +"Give me a chair!" cried Lizabetha Prokofievna, but she seized +one for herself and sat down opposite to Hippolyte. "Colia, you +must go home with him," she commanded and tomorrow I will come +my self. " + +"Will you let me ask the prince for a cup of tea?... I am +exhausted. Do you know what you might do, Lizabetha Prokofievna? +I think you wanted to take the prince home with you for tea. Stay +here, and let us spend the evening together. I am sure the prince +will give us all some tea. Forgive me for being so free and easy-- +but I know you are kind, and the prince is kind, too. In fact, we +are all good-natured people--it is really quite comical." + +The prince bestirred himself to give orders. Lebedeff hurried +out, followed by Vera. + +"It is quite true," said Mrs. Epanchin decisively. "Talk, but not +too loud, and don't excite yourself. You have made me sorry for +you. Prince, you don't deserve that I should stay and have tea +with you, yet I will, all the same, but I won't apologize. I +apologize to nobody! Nobody! It is absurd! However, forgive me, +prince, if I blew you up--that is, if you like, of course. But +please don't let me keep anyone," she added suddenly to her +husband and daughters, in a tone of resentment, as though they +had grievously offended her. "I can come home alone quite well." + +But they did not let her finish, and gathered round her eagerly. +The prince immediately invited everyone to stay for tea, and +apologized for not having thought of it before. The general +murmured a few polite words, and asked Lizabetha Prokofievna if +she did not feel cold on the terrace. He very nearly asked +Hippolyte how long he had been at the University, but stopped +himself in time. Evgenie Pavlovitch and Prince S. suddenly grew +extremely gay and amiable. Adelaida and Alexandra had not +recovered from their surprise, but it was now mingled with +satisfaction; in short, everyone seemed very much relieved that +Lizabetha Prokofievna had got over her paroxysm. Aglaya alone +still frowned, and sat apart in silence. All the other guests +stayed on as well; no one wanted to go, not even General Ivolgin, +but Lebedeff said something to him in passing which did not seem +to please him, for he immediately went and sulked in a corner. +The prince took care to offer tea to Burdovsky and his friends as +well as the rest. The invitation made them rather uncomfortable. +They muttered that they would wait for Hippolyte, and went and +sat by themselves in a distant corner of the verandah. Tea was +served at once; Lebedeff had no doubt ordered it for himself and +his family before the others arrived. It was striking eleven. + +X. + +AFTER moistening his lips with the tea which Vera Lebedeff +brought him, Hippolyte set the cup down on the table, and glanced +round. He seemed confused and almost at a loss. + +"Just look, Lizabetha Prokofievna," he began, with a kind of +feverish haste; "these china cups are supposed to be extremely +valuable. Lebedeff always keeps them locked up in his china- +cupboard; they were part of his wife's dowry. Yet he has brought +them out tonight--in your honour, of course! He is so pleased--" +He was about to add something else, but could not find the words. + +"There, he is feeling embarrassed; I expected as much," whispered +Evgenie Pavlovitch suddenly in the prince's ear. "It is a bad +sign; what do you think? Now, out of spite, he will come out with +something so outrageous that even Lizabetha Prokofievna will not +be able to stand it." + +Muishkin looked at him inquiringly. + +"You do not care if he does?" added Evgenie Pavlovitch. "Neither +do I; in fact, I should be glad, merely as a proper punishment +for our dear Lizabetha Prokofievna. I am very anxious that she +should get it, without delay, and I shall stay till she does. You +seem feverish." + +"Never mind; by-and-by; yes, I am not feeling well," said the +prince impatiently, hardly listening. He had just heard Hippolyte +mention his own name. + +"You don't believe it?" said the invalid, with a nervous laugh. +"I don't wonder, but the prince will have no difficulty in +believing it; he will not be at all surprised." + +"Do you hear, prince--do you hear that?" said Lizabetha +Prokofievna, turning towards him. + +There was laughter in the group around her, and Lebedeff stood +before her gesticulating wildly. + +"He declares that your humbug of a landlord revised this +gentleman's article--the article that was read aloud just now--in +which you got such a charming dressing-down." + +The prince regarded Lebedeff with astonishment. + +"Why don't you say something?" cried Lizabetha Prokofievna, +stamping her foot. + +"Well," murmured the prince, with his eyes still fixed on +Lebedeff, "I can see now that he did." + +"Is it true?" she asked eagerly. + +"Absolutely, your excellency," said Lebedeff, without the least +hesitation. + +Mrs. Epanchin almost sprang up in amazement at his answer, and at +the assurance of his tone. + +"He actually seems to boast of it!" she cried. + +"I am base--base!" muttered Lebedeff, beating his breast, and +hanging his head. + +"What do I care if you are base or not? He thinks he has only to +say, 'I am base,' and there is an end of it. As to you, prince, +are you not ashamed?--I repeat, are you not ashamed, to mix with +such riff-raff? I will never forgive you!" + +"The prince will forgive me!" said Lebedeff with emotional +conviction. + +Keller suddenly left his seat, and approached Lizabetha. +Prokofievna. + +"It was only out of generosity, madame," he said in a resonant +voice, "and because I would not betray a friend in an awkward +position, that I did not mention this revision before; though you +heard him yourself threatening to kick us down the steps. To +clear the matter up, I declare now that I did have recourse to +his assistance, and that I paid him six roubles for it. But I did +not ask him to correct my style; I simply went to him for +information concerning the facts, of which I was ignorant to a +great extent, and which he was competent to give. The story of +the gaiters, the appetite in the Swiss professor's house, the +substitution of fifty roubles for two hundred and fifty--all such +details, in fact, were got from him. I paid him six roubles for +them; but he did not correct the style." + +"I must state that I only revised the first part of the article," +interposed Lebedeff with feverish impatience, while laughter rose +from all around him; "but we fell out in the middle over one +idea, so I never corrected the second part. Therefore I cannot be +held responsible for the numerous grammatical blunders in it." + +"That is all he thinks of!" cried Lizabetha Prokofievna. + +"May I ask when this article was revised?" said Evgenie +Pavlovitch to Keller. + +"Yesterday morning," he replied, "we had an interview which we +all gave our word of honour to keep secret." + +"The very time when he was cringing before you and making +protestations of devotion! Oh, the mean wretches! I will have +nothing to do with your Pushkin, and your daughter shall not +set foot in my house!" + +Lizabetha Prokofievna was about to rise, when she saw Hippolyte +laughing, and turned upon him with irritation. + +"Well, sir, I suppose you wanted to make me look ridiculous?" + +"Heaven forbid!" he answered, with a forced smile. "But I am more +than ever struck by your eccentricity, Lizabetha Prokofievna. I +admit that I told you of Lebedeff's duplicity, on purpose. I knew +the effect it would have on you,--on you alone, for the prince +will forgive him. He has probably forgiven him already, and is +racking his brains to find some excuse for him--is not that the +truth, prince?" + +He gasped as he spoke, and his strange agitation seemed to +increase. + +"Well?" said Mrs. Epanchin angrily, surprised at his tone; "well, +what more?" + +"I have heard many things of the kind about you ...they +delighted me... I have learned to hold you in the highest +esteem," continued Hippolyte. + +His words seemed tinged with a kind of sarcastic mockery, yet he +was extremely agitated, casting suspicious glances around him, +growing confused, and constantly losing the thread of his ideas. +All this, together with his consumptive appearance, and the +frenzied expression of his blazing eyes, naturally attracted the +attention of everyone present. + +"I might have been surprised (though I admit I know nothing of +the world), not only that you should have stayed on just now in +the company of such people as myself and my friends, who are not +of your class, but that you should let these ... young ladies +listen to such a scandalous affair, though no doubt novel-reading +has taught them all there is to know. I may be mistaken; I hardly +know what I am saying; but surely no one but you would have +stayed to please a whippersnapper (yes, a whippersnapper; I admit +it) to spend the evening and take part in everything--only to be +ashamed of it tomorrow. (I know I express myself badly.) I +admire and appreciate it all extremely, though the expression on +the face of his excellency, your husband, shows that he thinks it +very improper. He-he!" He burst out laughing, and was seized with +a fit of coughing which lasted for two minutes and prevented him +from speaking. + +"He has lost his breath now!" said Lizabetha Prokofievna coldly, +looking at him with more curiosity than pity: "Come, my dear boy, +that is quite enough--let us make an end of this." + +Ivan Fedorovitch, now quite out of patience, interrupted +suddenly. "Let me remark in my turn, sir," he said in tones of +deep annoyance, "that my wife is here as the guest of Prince Lef +Nicolaievitch, our friend and neighbour, and that in any case, +young man, it is not for you to pass judgment on the conduct of +Lizabetha Prokofievna, or to make remarks aloud in my presence +concerning what feelings you think may be read in my face. Yes, +my wife stayed here," continued the general, with increasing +irritation, "more out of amazement than anything else. Everyone +can understand that a collection of such strange young men would +attract the attention of a person interested in contemporary +life. I stayed myself, just as I sometimes stop to look on in the +street when I see something that may be regarded as-as-as-" + +"As a curiosity," suggested Evgenie Pavlovitch, seeing his +excellency involved in a comparison which he could not complete. + +"That is exactly the word I wanted," said the general with +satisfaction--" a curiosity. However, the most astonishing and, +if I may so express myself, the most painful, thing in this +matter, is that you cannot even understand, young man, that +Lizabetha Prokofievna, only stayed with you because you are ill, +--if you really are dying--moved by the pity awakened by your +plaintive appeal, and that her name, character, and social +position place her above all risk of contamination. Lizabetha +Prokofievna!" he continued, now crimson with rage, "if you are +coming, we will say goodnight to the prince, and--" + +"Thank you for the lesson, general," said Hippolyte, with +unexpected gravity, regarding him thoughtfully. + +"Two minutes more, if you please, dear Ivan Fedorovitch," said +Lizabetha Prokofievna to her husband; "it seems to me that he is +in a fever and delirious; you can see by his eyes what a state he +is in; it is impossible to let him go back to Petersburg +tonight. Can you put him up, Lef Nicolaievitch? I hope you are not +bored, dear prince," she added suddenly to Prince S. "Alexandra, +my dear, come here! Your hair is coming down." + +She arranged her daughter's hair, which was not in the least +disordered, and gave her a kiss. This was all that she had called +her for. + +"I thought you were capable of development," said Hippolyte, +coming out of his fit of abstraction. "Yes, that is what I meant +to say," he added, with the satisfaction of one who suddenly +remembers something he had forgotten. "Here is Burdovsky, +sincerely anxious to protect his mother; is not that so? And he +himself is the cause of her disgrace. The prince is anxious to +help Burdovsky and offers him friendship and a large sum of +money, in the sincerity of his heart. And here they stand like +two sworn enemies--ha, ha, ha! You all hate Burdovsky because his +behaviour with regard to his mother is shocking and repugnant to +you; do you not? Is not that true? Is it not true? You all have a +passion for beauty and distinction in outward forms; that is all +you care for, isn't it? I have suspected for a long time that you +cared for nothing else! Well, let me tell you that perhaps there +is not one of you who loved your mother as Burdovsky loved his. +As to you, prince, I know that you have sent money secretly to +Burdovsky's mother through Gania. Well, I bet now," he continued +with an hysterical laugh, "that Burdovsky will accuse you of +indelicacy, and reproach you with a want of respect for his +mother! Yes, that is quite certain! Ha, ha, ha!" + +He caught his breath, and began to cough once more. + +"Come, that is enough! That is all now; you have no more to say? +Now go to bed; you are burning with fever," said Lizabetha +Prokofievna impatiently. Her anxious eyes had never left the +invalid. "Good heavens, he is going to begin again!" + +"You are laughing, I think? Why do you keep laughing at me?" said +Hippolyte irritably to Evgenie Pavlovitch, who certainly was +laughing. + +"I only want to know, Mr. Hippolyte--excuse me, I forget your +surname." + +"Mr. Terentieff," said the prince. + +"Oh yes, Mr. Terentieff. Thank you prince. I heard it just now, +but had forgotten it. I want to know, Mr. Terentieff, if what I +have heard about you is true. It seems you are convinced that if +you could speak to the people from a window for a quarter of an +hour, you could make them all adopt your views and follow you?" + +"I may have said so," answered Hippolyte, as if trying to +remember. "Yes, I certainly said so," he continued with sudden +animation, fixing an unflinching glance on his questioner. "What +of it?" + +"Nothing. I was only seeking further information, to put the +finishing touch." +Evgenie Pavlovitch was silent, but Hippolyte kept his eyes fixed +upon him, waiting impatiently for more. + +"Well, have you finished?" said Lizabetha Prokofievna to Evgenie. +"Make haste, sir; it is time he went to bed. Have you more to +say?" She was very angry. + +"Yes, I have a little more," said Evgenie Pavlovitch, with a +smile. "It seems to me that all you and your friends have said, +Mr. Terentieff, and all you have just put forward with such +undeniable talent, may be summed up in the triumph of right above +all, independent of everything else, to the exclusion of +everything else; perhaps even before having discovered what +constitutes the right. I may be mistaken?" + +"You are certainly mistaken; I do not even understand you. What +else?" + +Murmurs arose in the neighbourhood of Burdovsky and his +companions; Lebedeff's nephew protested under his breath. + +"I have nearly finished," replied Evgenie Pavlovitch. + +"I will only remark that from these premisses one could conclude +that might is right--I mean the right of the clenched fist, and of +personal inclination. Indeed, the world has often come to that +conclusion. Prudhon upheld that might is right. In the American +War some of the most advanced Liberals took sides with the +planters on the score that the blacks were an inferior race to +the whites, and that might was the right of the white race." + +"Well?" + +"You mean, no doubt, that you do not deny that might is right?" + +"What then?" + +"You are at least logical. I would only point out that from the +right of might, to the right of tigers and crocodiles, or even +Daniloff and Gorsky, is but a step." + +"I know nothing about that; what else?" + +Hippolyte was scarcely listening. He kept saying well?" and "what +else?" mechanically, without the least curiosity, and by mere +force of habit. + +"Why, nothing else; that is all." + +"However, I bear you no grudge," said Hippolyte suddenly, and, +hardly conscious of what he was doing, he held out his hand with +a smile. The gesture took Evgenie Pavlovitch by surprise, but +with the utmost gravity he touched the hand that was offered him +in token of forgiveness. + +"I can but thank you," he said, in a tone too respectful to be +sincere, "for your kindness in letting me speak, for I have often +noticed that our Liberals never allow other people to have an +opinion of their own, and immediately answer their opponents with +abuse, if they do not have recourse to arguments of a still more +unpleasant nature." + +"What you say is quite true," observed General Epanchin; then, +clasping his hands behind his back, he returned to his place on +the terrace steps, where he yawned with an air of boredom. + +"Come, sir, that will do; you weary me," said Lizabetha +Prokofievna suddenly to Evgenie Pavlovitch. + +Hippolyte rose all at once, looking troubled and almost +frightened. + +"It is time for me to go," he said, glancing round in perplexity. +"I have detained you... I wanted to tell you everything... I +thought you all ... for the last time ... it was a whim..." + +He evidently had sudden fits of returning animation, when he +awoke from his semi-delirium; then, recovering full self- +possession for a few moments, he would speak, in disconnected +phrases which had perhaps haunted him for a long while on his bed +of suffering, during weary, sleepless nights. + +"Well, good-bye," he said abruptly. "You think it is easy for me +to say good-bye to you? Ha, ha!" + +Feeling that his question was somewhat gauche, he smiled angrily. +Then as if vexed that he could not ever express what he really +meant, he said irritably, in a loud voice: + +"Excellency, I have the honour of inviting you to my funeral; +that is, if you will deign to honour it with your presence. I +invite you all, gentlemen, as well as the general." + +He burst out laughing again, but it was the laughter of a madman. +Lizabetha Prokofievna approached him anxiously and seized his +arm. He stared at her for a moment, still laughing, but soon his +face grew serious. + +"Do you know that I came here to see those trees?" pointing to +the trees in the park. "It is not ridiculous, is it? Say that it +is not ridiculous!" he demanded urgently of Lizabetha +Prokofievna. Then he seemed to be plunged in thought. A moment +later he raised his head, and his eyes sought for someone. He was +looking for Evgenie Pavlovitch, who was close by on his right as +before, but he had forgotten this, and his eyes ranged over the +assembled company. "Ah! you have not gone!" he said, when he +caught sight of him at last. "You kept on laughing just now, +because I thought of speaking to the people from the window for a +quarter of an hour. But I am not eighteen, you know; lying on +that bed, and looking out of that window, I have thought of all +sorts of things for such a long time that ... a dead man has no +age, you know. I was saying that to myself only last week, when I +was awake in the night. Do you know what you fear most? You fear +our sincerity more than anything, although you despise us! The +idea crossed my mind that night... You thought I was making +fun of you just now, Lizabetha Prokofievna? No, the idea of +mockery was far from me; I only meant to praise you. Colia told +me the prince called you a child--very well--but let me see, I +had something else to say..." He covered his face with his +hands and tried to collect his thoughts. + +"Ah, yes--you were going away just now, and I thought to myself: +'I shall never see these people again-never again! This is the +last time I shall see the trees, too. I shall see nothing after +this but the red brick wall of Meyer's house opposite my window. +Tell them about it--try to tell them,' I thought. 'Here is a +beautiful young girl--you are a dead man; make them understand +that. Tell them that a dead man may say anything--and Mrs. Grundy +will not be angry--ha-ha! You are not laughing?" He looked +anxiously around. "But you know I get so many queer ideas, lying +there in bed. I have grown convinced that nature is full of +mockery--you called me an atheist just now, but you know this +nature ... why are you laughing again? You are very cruel!" he +added suddenly, regarding them all with mournful reproach. "I +have not corrupted Colia," he concluded in a different and very +serious tone, as if remembering something again. + +"Nobody here is laughing at you. Calm yourself" said Lizabetha +Prokofievna, much moved. "You shall see a new doctor tomorrow; +the other was mistaken; but sit down, do not stand like that! You +are delirious--Oh, what shall we do with him she cried in +anguish, as she made him sit down again in the arm-chair. + +A tear glistened on her cheek. At the sight of it Hippolyte +seemed amazed. He lifted his hand timidly and, touched the tear +with his finger, smiling like a child. + +"I ... you," he began joyfully. "You cannot tell how I ... he +always spoke so enthusiastically of you, Colia here; I liked his +enthusiasm. I was not corrupting him! But I must leave him, too-- +I wanted to leave them all--there was not one of them--not one! I +wanted to be a man of action--I had a right to be. Oh! what a +lot of things I wanted! Now I want nothing; I renounce all my +wants; I swore to myself that I would want nothing; let them seek +the truth without me! Yes, nature is full of mockery! Why"--he +continued with sudden warmth--"does she create the choicest +beings only to mock at them? The only human being who is +recognized as perfect, when nature showed him to mankind, was +given the mission to say things which have caused the shedding of +so much blood that it would have drowned mankind if it had all +been shed at once! Oh! it is better for me to die! I should tell +some dreadful lie too; nature would so contrive it! I have +corrupted nobody. I wanted to live for the happiness of all men, +to find and spread the truth. I used to look out of my window at +the wall of Meyer's house, and say to myself that if I could +speak for a quarter of an hour I would convince the whole world, +and now for once in my life I have come into contact with ... +you--if not with the others! And what is the result? Nothing! The +sole result is that you despise me! Therefore I must be a fool, I +am useless, it is time I disappeared! And I shall leave not even +a memory! Not a sound, not a trace, not a single deed! I have not +spread a single truth! ... Do not laugh at the fool! Forget +him! Forget him forever! I beseech you, do not be so cruel as to +remember! Do you know that if I were not consumptive, I would +kill myself?" + +Though he seemed to wish to say much more, he became silent. He +fell back into his chair, and, covering his face with his hands, +began to sob like a little child. + +"Oh! what on earth are we to do with him?" cried Lizabetha +Prokofievna. She hastened to him and pressed his head against her +bosom, while he sobbed convulsively. + +"Come, come, come! There, you must not cry, that will do. You are +a good child! God will forgive you, because you knew no better. +Come now, be a man! You know presently you will be ashamed." + +Hippolyte raised his head with an effort, saying: + +"I have little brothers and sisters, over there, poor avid +innocent. She will corrupt them! You are a saint! You are a child +yourself--save them! Snatch them from that ... she is ... it +is shameful! Oh! help them! God will repay you a hundredfold. For +the love of God, for the love of Christ!" + +"Speak, Ivan Fedorovitch! What are we to do?" cried Lizabetha +Prokofievna, irritably. "Please break your majestic silence! I +tell you, if you cannot come to some decision, I will stay here +all night myself. You have tyrannized over me enough, you +autocrat!" + +She spoke angrily, and in great excitement, and expected an +immediate reply. But in such a case, no matter how many are +present, all prefer to keep silence: no one will take the +initiative, but all reserve their comments till afterwards. There +were some present--Varvara Ardalionovna, for instance--who would +have willingly sat there till morning without saying a word. +Varvara had sat apart all the evening without opening her lips, +but she listened to everything with the closest attention; +perhaps she had her reasons for so doing. + +"My dear," said the general, "it seems to me that a sick-nurse +would be of more use here than an excitable person like you. +Perhaps it would be as well to get some sober, reliable man for +the night. In any case we must consult the prince, and leave the +patient to rest at once. Tomorrow we can see what can be done +for him." + +"It is nearly midnight; we are going. Will he come with us, or is +he to stay here?" Doktorenko asked crossly of the prince. + +"You can stay with him if you like," said Muishkin. + +"There is plenty of room here." + +Suddenly, to the astonishment of all, Keller went quickly up to +the general. + +"Excellency," he said, impulsively, "if you want a reliable man +for the night, I am ready to sacrifice myself for my friend--such +a soul as he has! I have long thought him a great man, +excellency! My article showed my lack of education, but when he +criticizes he scatters pearls!" + +Ivan Fedorovitch turned from the boxer with a gesture of despair. + +"I shall be delighted if he will stay; it would certainly be +difficult for him to get back to Petersburg," said the prince, in +answer to the eager questions of Lizabetha Prokofievna. + +"But you are half asleep, are you not? If you don't want him, I +will take him back to my house! Why, good gracious! He can hardly +stand up himself! What is it? Are you ill?" + +Not finding the prince on his death-bed, Lizabetha Prokofievna +had been misled by his appearance to think him much better than +he was. But his recent illness, the painful memories attached to +it, the fatigue of this evening, the incident with "Pavlicheff's +son," and now this scene with Hippolyte, had all so worked on his +oversensitive nature that he was now almost in a fever. Moreover, +anew trouble, almost a fear, showed itself in his eyes; he +watched Hippolyte anxiously as if expecting something further. + +Suddenly Hippolyte arose. His face, shockingly pale, was that of +a man overwhelmed with shame and despair. This was shown chiefly +in the look of fear and hatred which he cast upon the assembled +company, and in the wild smile upon his trembling lips. Then he +cast down his eyes, and with the same smile, staggered towards +Burdovsky and Doktorenko, who stood at the entrance to the +verandah. He had decided to go with them. + +"There! that is what I feared!" cried the prince. "It was +inevitable!" + +Hippolyte turned upon him, a prey to maniacal rage, which set all +the muscles of his face quivering. + +"Ah! that is what you feared! It was inevitable, you say! Well, +let me tell you that if I hate anyone here--I hate you all," he +cried, in a hoarse, strained voice-" but you, you, with your +jesuitical soul, your soul of sickly sweetness, idiot, beneficent +millionaire--I hate you worse than anything or anyone on earth! I +saw through you and hated you long ago; from the day I first +heard of you. I hated you with my whole heart. You have contrived +all this! You have driven me into this state! You have made a +dying man disgrace himself. You, you, you are the cause of my +abject cowardice! I would kill you if I remained alive! I do not +want your benefits; I will accept none from anyone; do you hear? +Not from any one! I want nothing! I was delirious, do not dare to +triumph! I curse every one of you, once for all!" + +Breath failed him here, and he was obliged to stop. + +"He is ashamed of his tears!" whispered Lebedeff to Lizabetha +Prokofievna. "It was inevitable. Ah! what a wonderful man the +prince is! He read his very soul." + +But Mrs. Epanchin would not deign to look at Lebedeff. Drawn up +haughtily, with her head held high, she gazed at the "riff-raff," +with scornful curiosity. When Hippolyte had finished, Ivan +Fedorovitch shrugged his shoulders, and his wife looked him +angrily up and down, as if to demand the meaning of his movement. +Then she turned to the prince. + +"Thanks, prince, many thanks, eccentric friend of the family, for +the pleasant evening you have provided for us. I am sure you are +quite pleased that you have managed to mix us up with your +extraordinary affairs. It is quite enough, dear family friend; +thank you for giving us an opportunity of getting to know you so +well." + +She arranged her cloak with hands that trembled with anger as she +waited for the "riff-raff "to go. The cab which Lebedeff's son +had gone to fetch a quarter of an hour ago, by Doktorenko's +order, arrived at that moment. The general thought fit to put in +a word after his wife. + +"Really, prince, I hardly expected after--after all our friendly +intercourse-- and you see, Lizabetha Prokofievna--" + +"Papa, how can you?" cried Adelaida, walking quickly up to the +prince and holding out her hand. + +He smiled absently at her; then suddenly he felt a burning +sensation in his ear as an angry voice whispered: + +"If you do not turn those dreadful people out of the house this +very instant, I shall hate you all my life--all my life!" It was +Aglaya. She seemed almost in a frenzy, but she turned away before +the prince could look at her. However, there was no one left to +turn out of the house, for they had managed meanwhile to get +Hippolyte into the cab, and it had driven off. + +"Well, how much longer is this going to last, Ivan Fedorovitch? +What do you think? Shall I soon be delivered from these odious +youths?" + +"My dear, I am quite ready; naturally ... the prince." + +Ivan Fedorovitch held out his hand to Muishkin, but ran after his +wife, who was leaving with every sign of violent indignation, +before he had time to shake it. Adelaida, her fiance, and +Alexandra, said good-bye to their host with sincere friendliness. +Evgenie Pavlovitch did the same, and he alone seemed in good +spirits. + +"What I expected has happened! But I am sorry, you poor fellow, +that you should have had to suffer for it," he murmured, with a +most charming smile. + +Aglaya left without saying good-bye. But the evening was not to +end without a last adventure. An unexpected meeting was yet in +store for Lizabetha Prokofievna. + +She had scarcely descended the terrace steps leading to the high +road that skirts the park at Pavlofsk, when suddenly there dashed +by a smart open carriage, drawn by a pair of beautiful white +horses. Having passed some ten yards beyond the house, the +carriage suddenly drew up, and one of the two ladies seated in it +turned sharp round as though she had just caught sight of some +acquaintance whom she particularly wished to see. + +"Evgenie Pavlovitch! Is that you?" cried a clear, sweet voice, +which caused the prince, and perhaps someone else, to tremble. +"Well, I AM glad I've found you at last! I've sent to town for +you twice today myself! My messengers have been searching for +you everywhere!" + +Evgenie Pavlovitch stood on the steps like one struck by +lightning. Mrs. Epanchin stood still too, but not with the +petrified expression of Evgenie. She gazed haughtily at the +audacious person who had addressed her companion, and then turned +a look of astonishment upon Evgenie himself. + +"There's news!" continued the clear voice. "You need not be +anxious about Kupferof's IOU's--Rogojin has bought them up. I +persuaded him to!--I dare say we shall settle Biscup too, so it's +all right, you see! Au revoir, tomorrow! And don't worry!" The +carriage moved on, and disappeared. + +"The woman's mad!" cried Evgenie, at last, crimson with anger, +and looking confusedly around. "I don't know what she's talking +about! What IOU's? Who is she?" Mrs. Epanchin continued to watch +his face for a couple of seconds; then she marched briskly and +haughtily away towards her own house, the rest following her. + +A minute afterwards, Evgenie Pavlovitch reappeared on the +terrace, in great agitation. + +"Prince," he said, "tell me the truth; do you know what all this +means?" + +"I know nothing whatever about it!" replied the latter, who was, +himself, in a state of nervous excitement. + +"No?" + +"No? + +"Well, nor do I!" said Evgenie Pavlovitch, laughing suddenly. "I +haven't the slightest knowledge of any such IOU's as she +mentioned, I swear I haven't--What's the matter, are you +fainting?" + +"Oh, no-no-I'm all right, I assure you!" + +XI. + +THE anger of the Epanchin family was unappeased for three days. +As usual the prince reproached himself, and had expected +punishment, but he was inwardly convinced that Lizabetha +Prokofievna could not be seriously angry with him, and that she +probably was more angry with herself. He was painfully surprised, +therefore, when three days passed with no word from her. Other +things also troubled and perplexed him, and one of these grew +more important in his eyes as the days went by. He had begun to +blame himself for two opposite tendencies--on the one hand to +extreme, almost "senseless," confidence in his fellows, on the +other to a "vile, gloomy suspiciousness." + +By the end of the third day the incident of the eccentric lady +and Evgenie Pavlovitch had attained enormous and mysterious +proportions in his mind. He sorrowfully asked himself whether he +had been the cause of this new "monstrosity," or was it ... but +he refrained from saying who else might be in fault. As for the +letters N.P.B., he looked on that as a harmless joke, a mere +childish piece of mischief--so childish that he felt it would be +shameful, almost dishonourable, to attach any importance to it. + +The day after these scandalous events, however, the prince had +the honour of receiving a visit from Adelaida and her fiance, +Prince S. They came, ostensibly, to inquire after his health. +They had wandered out for a walk, and called in "by accident," +and talked for almost the whole of the time they were with him +about a certain most lovely tree in the park, which Adelaida had +set her heart upon for a picture. This, and a little amiable +conversation on Prince S.'s part, occupied the time, and not a +word was said about last evening's episodes. At length Adelaida +burst out laughing, apologized, and explained that they had come +incognito; from which, and from the circumstance that they said +nothing about the prince's either walking back with them or +coming to see them later on, the latter inferred that he was in +Mrs. Epanchin's black books. Adelaida mentioned a watercolour +that she would much like to show him, and explained that she +would either send it by Colia, or bring it herself the next day-- +which to the prince seemed very suggestive. + +At length, however, just as the visitors were on the point of +departing, Prince S. seemed suddenly to recollect himself. "Oh +yes, by-the-by," he said, "do you happen to know, my dear Lef +Nicolaievitch, who that lady was who called out to Evgenie +Pavlovitch last night, from the carriage?" + +"It was Nastasia Philipovna," said the prince; "didn't you know +that? I cannot tell you who her companion was." + +"But what on earth did she mean? I assure you it is a real riddle +to me--to me, and to others, too!" Prince S. seemed to be under +the influence of sincere astonishment. + +"She spoke of some bills of Evgenie Pavlovitch's," said the +prince, simply, "which Rogojin had bought up from someone; and +implied that Rogojin would not press him." + +"Oh, I heard that much, my dear fellow! But the thing is so +impossibly absurd! A man of property like Evgenie to give IOU's +to a money-lender, and to be worried about them! It is +ridiculous. Besides, he cannot possibly be on such intimate terms +with Nastasia Philipovna as she gave us to understand; that's the +principal part of the mystery! He has given me his word that he +knows nothing whatever about the matter, and of course I believe +him. Well, the question is, my dear prince, do you know anything +about it? Has any sort of suspicion of the meaning of it come +across you?" + +"No, I know nothing whatever about it. I assure you I had nothing +at all to do with it." + +"Oh, prince, how strange you have become! I assure you, I hardly +know you for your old self. How can you suppose that I ever +suggested you could have had a finger in such a business? But you +are not quite yourself today, I can see." He embraced the +prince, and kissed him. + +"What do you mean, though," asked Muishkin, "'by such a +business'? I don't see any particular 'business' about it at +all!" + +"Oh, undoubtedly, this person wished somehow, and for some +reason, to do Evgenie Pavlovitch a bad turn, by attributing to +him--before witnesses--qualities which he neither has nor can +have," replied Prince S. drily enough. + +Muiskhin looked disturbed, but continued to gaze intently and +questioningly into Prince S.'s face. The latter, however, +remained silent. + +"Then it was not simply a matter of bills?" Muishkin said at +last, with some impatience. "It was not as she said?" + +"But I ask you, my dear sir, how can there be anything in common +between Evgenie Pavlovitch, and--her, and again Rogojin? I tell +you he is a man of immense wealth--as I know for a fact; and he +has further expectations from his uncle. Simply Nastasia +Philipovna--" + +Prince S. paused, as though unwilling to continue talking about +Nastasia Philipovna. + +"Then at all events he knows her!" remarked the prince, after a +moment's silence. + +"Oh, that may be. He may have known her some time ago--two or +three years, at least. He used to know Totski. But it is +impossible that there should be any intimacy between them. She +has not even been in the place--many people don't even know that +she has returned from Moscow! I have only observed her carriage +about for the last three days or so." + +"It's a lovely carriage," said Adelaida. + +"Yes, it was a beautiful turn-out, certainly!" + +The visitors left the house, however, on no less friendly terms +than before. But the visit was of the greatest importance to the +prince, from his own point of view. Admitting that he had his +suspicions, from the moment of the occurrence of last night, +perhaps even before, that Nastasia had some mysterious end in +view, yet this visit confirmed his suspicions and justified his +fears. It was all clear to him; Prince S. was wrong, perhaps, in +his view of the matter, but he was somewhere near the truth, and +was right in so far as that he understood there to be an intrigue +of some sort going on. Perhaps Prince S. saw it all more clearly +than he had allowed his hearers to understand. At all events, +nothing could be plainer than that he and Adelaida had come for +the express purpose of obtaining explanations, and that they +suspected him of being concerned in the affair. And if all this +were so, then SHE must have some terrible object in view! What +was it? There was no stopping HER, as Muishkin knew from +experience, in the performance of anything she had set her mind +on! "Oh, she is mad, mad!" thought the poor prince. + +But there were many other puzzling occurrences that day, which +required immediate explanation, and the prince felt very sad. A +visit from Vera Lebedeff distracted him a little. She brought the +infant Lubotchka with her as usual, and talked cheerfully for +some time. Then came her younger sister, and later the brother, +who attended a school close by. He informed Muishkin that his +father had lately found a new interpretation of the star called +"wormwood," which fell upon the water-springs, as described in +the Apocalypse. He had decided that it meant the network of +railroads spread over the face of Europe at the present time. The +prince refused to believe that Lebedeff could have given such an +interpretation, and they decided to ask him about it at the +earliest opportunity. Vera related how Keller had taken up his +abode with them on the previous evening. She thought he would +remain for some time, as he was greatly pleased with the society +of General Ivolgin and of the whole family. But he declared that +he had only come to them in order to complete his education! +The prince always enjoyed the company of Lebedeff's children, and +today it was especially welcome, for Colia did not appear all +day. Early that morning he had started for Petersburg. Lebedeff +also was away on business. But Gavrila Ardalionovitch had +promised to visit Muishkin, who eagerly awaited his coming. + +About seven in the evening, soon after dinner, he arrived. At the +first glance it struck the prince that he, at any rate, must know +all the details of last night's affair. Indeed, it would have +been impossible for him to remain in ignorance considering the +intimate relationship between him, Varvara Ardalionovna, and +Ptitsin. But although he and the prince were intimate, in a +sense, and although the latter had placed the Burdovsky affair in +his hands-and this was not the only mark of confidence he had +received--it seemed curious how many matters there were that were +tacitly avoided in their conversations. Muishkin thought that +Gania at times appeared to desire more cordiality and frankness. +It was apparent now, when he entered, that he, was convinced that +the moment for breaking the ice between them had come at last. + +But all the same Gania was in haste, for his sister was waiting +at Lebedeff's to consult him on an urgent matter of business. If +he had anticipated impatient questions, or impulsive confidences, +he was soon undeceived. The prince was thoughtful, reserved, even +a little absent-minded, and asked none of the questions--one in +particular--that Gania had expected. So he imitated the prince's +demeanour, and talked fast and brilliantly upon all subjects but +the one on which their thoughts were engaged. Among other things +Gania told his host that Nastasia Philipovna had been only four +days in Pavlofsk, and that everyone was talking about her +already. She was staying with Daria Alexeyevna, in an ugly little +house in Mattrossky Street, but drove about in the smartest +carriage in the place. A crowd of followers had pursued her from +the first, young and old. Some escorted her on horse-back when +she took the air in her carriage. + +She was as capricious as ever in the choice of her acquaintances, +and admitted few into her narrow circle. Yet she already had a +numerous following and many champions on whom she could depend in +time of need. One gentleman on his holiday had broken off his +engagement on her account, and an old general had quarrelled with +his only son for the same reason. + +She was accompanied sometimes in her carriage by a girl of +sixteen, a distant relative of her hostess. This young lady sang +very well; in fact, her music had given a kind of notoriety to +their little house. Nastasia, however, was behaving with great +discretion on the whole. She dressed quietly, though with such +taste as to drive all the ladies in Pavlofsk mad with envy, of +that, as well as of her beauty and her carriage and horses. + +"As for yesterday's episode," continued Gania, "of course it was +pre-arranged." Here he paused, as though expecting to be asked +how he knew that. But the prince did not inquire. Concerning +Evgenie Pavlovitch, Gania stated, without being asked, that he +believed the former had not known Nastasia Philipovna in past +years, but that he had probably been introduced to her by +somebody in the park during these four days. As to the question +of the IOU's she had spoken of, there might easily be something +in that; for though Evgenie was undoubtedly a man of wealth, yet +certain of his affairs were equally undoubtedly in disorder. +Arrived at this interesting point, Gania suddenly broke off, and +said no more about Nastasia's prank of the previous evening. + +At last Varvara Ardalionovna came in search of her brother, and +remained for a few minutes. Without Muishkin's asking her, she +informed him that Evgenie Pavlovitch was spending the day in +Petersburg, and perhaps would remain there over tomorrow; and +that her husband had also gone to town, probably in connection +with Evgenie Pavlovitch's affairs. + +"Lizabetha Prokofievna is in a really fiendish temper today," +she added, as she went out, "but the most curious thing is that +Aglaya has quarrelled with her whole family; not only with her +father and mother, but with her sisters also. It is not a good +sign." She said all this quite casually, though it was extremely +important in the eyes of the prince, and went off with her +brother. Regarding the episode of "Pavlicheff's son," Gania had +been absolutely silent, partly from a kind of false modesty, +partly, perhaps, to "spare the prince's feelings." The latter, +however, thanked him again for the trouble he had taken in the +affair. + +Muishkin was glad enough to be left alone. He went out of the +garden, crossed the road, and entered the park. He wished to +reflect, and to make up his mind as to a certain "step." This +step was one of those things, however, which are not thought out, +as a rule, but decided for or against hastily, and without much +reflection. The fact is, he felt a longing to leave all this and +go away--go anywhere, if only it were far enough, and at once, +without bidding farewell to anyone. He felt a presentiment that +if he remained but a few days more in this place, and among these +people, he would be fixed there irrevocably and permanently. +However, in a very few minutes he decided that to run away was +impossible; that it would be cowardly; that great problems lay +before him, and that he had no right to leave them unsolved, or +at least to refuse to give all his energy and strength to the +attempt to solve them. Having come to this determination, he +turned and went home, his walk having lasted less than a quarter +of an hour. At that moment he was thoroughly unhappy. + +Lebedeff had not returned, so towards evening Keller managed to +penetrate into the prince's apartments. He was not drunk, but in +a confidential and talkative mood. He announced that he had come +to tell the story of his life to Muishkin, and had only remained +at Pavlofsk for that purpose. There was no means of turning him +out; nothing short of an earthquake would have removed him. + +In the manner of one with long hours before him, he began his +history; but after a few incoherent words he jumped to the +conclusion, which was that "having ceased to believe in God +Almighty, he had lost every vestige of morality, and had gone so +far as to commit a theft." "Could you imagine such a thing?" said +he. + +"Listen to me, Keller," returned the prince. "If I were in your +place, I should not acknowledge that unless it were absolutely +necessary for some reason. But perhaps you are making yourself +out to be worse than you are, purposely?" + +"I should tell it to no one but yourself, prince, and I only name +it now as a help to my soul's evolution. When I die, that secret +will die with me! But, excellency, if you knew, if you only had +the least idea, how difficult it is to get money nowadays! Where +to find it is the question. Ask for a loan, the answer is always +the same: 'Give us gold, jewels, or diamonds, and it will be +quite easy.' Exactly what one has not got! Can you picture that +to yourself? I got angry at last, and said, 'I suppose you would +accept emeralds?' 'Certainly, we accept emeralds with pleasure. +Yes!' 'Well, that's all right,' said I. 'Go to the devil, you den +of thieves!' And with that I seized my hat, and walked out." + +"Had you any emeralds?" asked the prince. + +"What? I have emeralds? Oh, prince! with what simplicity, with +what almost pastoral simplicity, you look upon life!" + +Could not something be made of this man under good influences? +asked the prince of himself, for he began to feel a kind of pity +for his visitor. He thought little of the value of his own +personal influence, not from a sense of humility, but from his +peculiar way of looking at things in general. Imperceptibly the +conversation grew more animated and more interesting, so that +neither of the two felt anxious to bring it to a close. Keller +confessed, with apparent sincerity, to having been guilty of many +acts of such a nature that it astonished the prince that he could +mention them, even to him. At every fresh avowal he professed the +deepest repentance, and described himself as being "bathed in +tears"; but this did not prevent him from putting on a boastful +air at times, and some of his stories were so absurdly comical +that both he and the prince laughed like madmen. + +"One point in your favour is that you seem to have a child-like +mind, and extreme truthfulness," said the prince at last. "Do you +know that that atones for much?" + +"I am assuredly noble-minded, and chivalrous to a degree!" said +Keller, much softened. "But, do you know, this nobility of mind +exists in a dream, if one may put it so? It never appears in +practice or deed. Now, why is that? I can never understand." + +"Do not despair. I think we may say without fear of deceiving +ourselves, that you have now given a fairly exact account of your +life. I, at least, think it would be impossible to add much to +what you have just told me." + +"Impossible?" cried Keller, almost pityingly. "Oh prince, how +little you really seem to understand human nature!" + +"Is there really much more to be added?" asked the prince, with +mild surprise. "Well, what is it you really want of me? Speak +out; tell me why you came to make your confession to me?" + +"What did I want? Well, to begin with, it is good to meet a man +like you. It is a pleasure to talk over my faults with you. I +know you for one of the best of men ... and then ... then ..." + +He hesitated, and appeared so much embarrassed that the prince +helped him out. + +"Then you wanted me to lend you money?" + +The words were spoken in a grave tone, and even somewhat shyly. + +Keller started, gave an astonished look at the speaker, and +thumped the table with his fist. + +"Well, prince, that's enough to knock me down! It astounds me! +Here you are, as simple and innocent as a knight of the golden +age, and yet ... yet ... you read a man's soul like a +psychologist! Now, do explain it to me, prince, because I ... I +really do not understand! ... Of course, my aim was to borrow +money all along, and you ... you asked the question as if there +was nothing blameable in it--as if you thought it quite natural." + +"Yes ... from you it is quite natural." + +"And you are not offended?" + +"Why should I be offended?" + +"Well, just listen, prince. I remained here last evening, partly +because I have a great admiration for the French archbishop +Bourdaloue. I enjoyed a discussion over him till three o'clock in +the morning, with Lebedeff; and then ... +then--I swear by all I hold sacred that I am telling you the +truth--then I wished to develop my soul in this frank and +heartfelt confession to you. This was my thought as I was sobbing +myself to sleep at dawn. Just as I was losing consciousness, +tears in my soul, tears on my face (I remember how I lay there +sobbing), an idea from hell struck me. 'Why not, after +confessing, borrow money from him?' You see, this confession was +a kind of masterstroke; I intended to use it as a means to your +good grace and favour--and then--then I meant to walk off with a +hundred and fifty roubles. Now, do you not call that base?" + +"It is hardly an exact statement of the case," said the prince in +reply. "You have confused your motives and ideas, as I need +scarcely say too often happens to myself. I can assure you, +Keller, I reproach myself bitterly for it sometimes. When you +were talking just now I seemed to be listening to something about +myself. At times I have imagined that all men were the same," he +continued earnestly, for he appeared to be much interested in the +conversation, "and that consoled me in a certain degree, for a +DOUBLE motive is a thing most difficult to fight against. I have +tried, and I know. God knows whence they arise, these ideas that +you speak of as base. I fear these double motives more than ever +just now, but I am not your judge, and in my opinion it is going +too far to give the name of baseness to it--what do you think? +You were going to employ your tears as a ruse in order to borrow +money, but you also say--in fact, you have sworn to the fact-- +that independently of this your confession was made with an +honourable motive. As for the money, you want it for drink, do +you not? After your confession, that is weakness, of course; but, +after all, how can anyone give up a bad habit at a moment's +notice? It is impossible. What can we do? It is best, I think, to +leave the matter to your own conscience. How does it seem to +you?" As he concluded the prince looked curiously at Keller; +evidently this problem of double motives had often been +considered by him before. + +"Well, how anybody can call you an idiot after that, is more than +I can understand!" cried the boxer. + +The prince reddened slightly. + +"Bourdaloue, the archbishop, would not have spared a man like +me," Keller continued, "but you, you have judged me with +humanity. To show how grateful I am, and as a punishment, I will +not accept a hundred and fifty roubles. Give me twenty-five--that +will be enough; it is all I really need, for a fortnight at +least. I will not ask you for more for a fortnight. I should like +to have given Agatha a present, but she does not really deserve +it. Oh, my dear prince, God bless you!" + +At this moment Lebedeff appeared, having just arrived from +Petersburg. He frowned when he saw the twenty-five rouble note in +Keller's hand, but the latter, having got the money, went away at +once. Lebedeff began to abuse him. + +"You are unjust; I found him sincerely repentant," observed the +prince, after listening for a time. + +"What is the good of repentance like that? It is the same exactly +as mine yesterday, when I said, 'I am base, I am base,'--words, +and nothing more!" + +"Then they were only words on your part? I thought, on the +contrary..." + +"Well, I don't mind telling you the truth--you only! Because you +see through a man somehow. Words and actions, truth and +falsehood, are all jumbled up together in me, and yet I am +perfectly sincere. I feel the deepest repentance, believe it or +not, as you choose; but words and lies come out in the infernal +craving to get the better of other people. It is always there--the +notion of cheating people, and of using my repentant tears to my +own advantage! I assure you this is the truth, prince! I would +not tell any other man for the world! He would laugh and jeer at +me--but you, you judge a man humanely." + +"Why, Keller said the same thing to me nearly word for word a few +minutes ago!" cried Muishkin. "And you both seem inclined to +boast about it! You astonish me, but I think he is more sincere +than you, for you make a regular trade of it. Oh, don't put on +that pathetic expression, and don't put your hand on your heart! +Have you anything to say to me? You have not come for nothing..." + +Lebedeff grinned and wriggled. + +"I have been waiting all day for you, because I want to ask you a +question; and, for once in your life, please tell me the truth at +once. Had you anything to do with that affair of the carriage +yesterday?" + +Lebedeff began to grin again, rubbed his hands, sneezed, but +spoke not a word in reply. + +"I see you had something to do with it." + +"Indirectly, quite indirectly! I am speaking the truth--I am +indeed! I merely told a certain person that I had people in my +house, and that such and such personages might be found among +them." + +"I am aware that you sent your son to that house--he told me so +himself just now, but what is this intrigue?" said the prince, +impatiently. + +"It is not my intrigue!" cried Lebedeff, waving his hand. + +"It was engineered by other people, and is, properly speaking, +rather a fantasy than an intrigue!" + +"But what is it all about? Tell me, for Heaven's sake! Cannot you +understand how nearly it touches me? Why are they blackening +Evgenie Pavlovitch's reputation?" + +Lebedeff grimaced and wriggled again. + +"Prince!" said he. "Excellency! You won't let me tell you the +whole truth; I have tried to explain; more than once I have +begun, but you have not allowed me to go on..." + +The prince gave no answer, and sat deep in thought. Evidently he +was struggling to decide. + +"Very well! Tell me the truth," he said, dejectedly. + +"Aglaya Ivanovna ..." began Lebedeff, promptly. + +"Be silent! At once!" interrupted the prince, red with +indignation, and perhaps with shame, too. "It is impossible and +absurd! All that has been invented by you, or fools like you! Let +me never hear you say a word again on that subject!" + +Late in the evening Colia came in with a whole budget of +Petersburg and Pavlofsk news. He did not dwell much on the +Petersburg part of it, which consisted chiefly of intelligence +about his friend Hippolyte, but passed quickly to the Pavlofsk +tidings. He had gone straight to the Epanchins' from the station. + +"There's the deuce and all going on there!" he said. "First of +all about the row last night, and I think there must be something +new as well, though I didn't like to ask. Not a word about YOU, +prince, the whole time!" The most interesting fact was that +Aglaya had been quarrelling with her people about Gania. Colia +did not know any details, except that it had been a terrible +quarrel! Also Evgenie Pavlovitch had called, and met with an +excellent reception all round. And another curious thing: Mrs. +Epanchin was so angry that she called Varia to her--Varia was +talking to the girls--and turned her out of the house "once for +all "she said. "I heard it from Varia herself--Mrs. Epanchin was +quite polite, but firm; and when Varia said good-bye to the +girls, she told them nothing about it, and they didn't know they +were saying goodbye for the last time. I'm sorry for Varia, and +for Gania too; he isn't half a bad fellow, in spite of his +faults, and I shall never forgive myself for not liking him +before! I don't know whether I ought to continue to go to the +Epanchins' now," concluded Colia--" I like to be quite +independent of others, and of other people's quarrels if I can; +but I must think over it." + +"I don't think you need break your heart over Gania," said the +prince; "for if what you say is true, he must be considered +dangerous in the Epanchin household, and if so, certain hopes of +his must have been encouraged." + +"What? What hopes?" cried Colia; "you surely don't mean Aglaya?-- +oh, no!--" + +"You're a dreadful sceptic, prince," he continued, after a +moment's silence. "I have observed of late that you have grown +sceptical about everything. You don't seem to believe in people +as you did, and are always attributing motives and so on--am I +using the word 'sceptic' in its proper sense?" + +"I believe so; but I'm not sure." + +"Well, I'll change it, right or wrong; I'll say that you are not +sceptical, but JEALOUS. There! you are deadly jealous of Gania, +over a certain proud damsel! Come!" Colia jumped up, with these +words, and burst out laughing. He laughed as he had perhaps never +laughed before, and still more when he saw the prince flushing up +to his temples. He was delighted that the prince should be +jealous about Aglaya. However, he stopped immediately on seeing +that the other was really hurt, and the conversation continued, +very earnestly, for an hour or more. + +Next day the prince had to go to town, on business. Returning in +the afternoon, he happened upon General Epanchin at the station. +The latter seized his hand, glancing around nervously, as if he +were afraid of being caught in wrong-doing, and dragged him into +a first-class compartment. He was burning to speak about +something of importance. + +"In the first place, my dear prince, don't be angry with me. I +would have come to see you yesterday, but I didn't know how +Lizabetha Prokofievna would take it. My dear fellow, my house is +simply a hell just now, a sort of sphinx has taken up its abode +there. We live in an atmosphere of riddles; I can't make head or +tail of anything. As for you, I feel sure you are the least to +blame of any of us, though you certainly have been the cause of a +good deal of trouble. You see, it's all very pleasant to be a +philanthropist; but it can be carried too far. Of course I admire +kind-heartedness, and I esteem my wife, but--" + +The general wandered on in this disconnected way for a long time; +it was clear that he was much disturbed by some circumstance +which he could make nothing of. + +"It is plain to me, that YOU are not in it at all," he continued, +at last, a little less vaguely, "but perhaps you had better not +come to our house for a little while. I ask you in the +friendliest manner, mind; just till the wind changes again. As +for Evgenie Pavlovitch," he continued with some excitement, "the +whole thing is a calumny, a dirty calumny. It is simply a plot, +an intrigue, to upset our plans and to stir up a quarrel. You +see, prince, I'll tell you privately, Evgenie and ourselves have +not said a word yet, we have no formal understanding, we are in +no way bound on either side, but the word may be said very soon, +don't you see, VERY soon, and all this is most injurious, and is +meant to be so. Why? I'm sure I can't tell you. She's an +extraordinary woman, you see, an eccentric woman; I tell you I am +so frightened of that woman that I can't sleep. What a carriage +that was, and where did it come from, eh? I declare, I was base +enough to suspect Evgenie at first; but it seems certain that +that cannot be the case, and if so, why is she interfering here? +That's the riddle, what does she want? Is it to keep Evgenie to +herself? But, my dear fellow, I swear to you, I swear he doesn't +even KNOW her, and as for those bills, why, the whole thing is an +invention! And the familiarity of the woman! It's quite clear we +must treat the impudent creature's attempt with disdain, and +redouble our courtesy towards Evgenie. I told my wife so. + +"Now I'll tell you my secret conviction. I'm certain that she's +doing this to revenge herself on me, on account of the past, +though I assure you that all the time I was blameless. I blush at +the very idea. And now she turns up again like this, when I +thought she had finally disappeared! Where's Rogojin all this +time? I thought she was Mrs. Rogojin, long ago." + +The old man was in a state of great mental perturbation. The +whole of the journey, which occupied nearly an hour, he continued +in this strain, putting questions and answering them himself, +shrugging his shoulders, pressing the prince's hand, and assuring +the latter that, at all events, he had no suspicion whatever of +HIM. This last assurance was satisfactory, at all events. The +general finished by informing him that Evgenie's uncle was head +of one of the civil service departments, and rich, very rich, and +a gourmand. "And, well, Heaven preserve him, of course--but +Evgenie gets his money, don't you see? But, for all this, I'm +uncomfortable, I don't know why. There's something in the air, I +feel there's something nasty in the air, like a bat, and I'm by +no means comfortable." + +And it was not until the third day that the formal reconciliation +between the prince and the Epanchins took place, as said before. + +XII. + +IT was seven in the evening, and the prince was just preparing to +go out for a walk in the park, when suddenly Mrs. Epanchin +appeared on the terrace. + +"In the first place, don't dare to suppose," she began, "that I +am going to apologize. Nonsense! You were entirely to blame." + +The prince remained silent. + +"Were you to blame, or not?" + +"No, certainly not, no more than yourself, though at first I +thought I was." + +"Oh, very well, let's sit down, at all events, for I don't intend +to stand up all day. And remember, if you say, one word about +'mischievous urchins,' I shall go away and break with you +altogether. Now then, did you, or did you not, send a letter to +Aglaya, a couple of months or so ago, about Easter-tide?" + +"Yes!" + +"What for? What was your object? Show me the letter." Mrs. +Epanchin's eyes flashed; she was almost trembling with +impatience. + +"I have not got the letter," said the prince, timidly, extremely +surprised at the turn the conversation had taken. "If anyone has +it, if it still exists, Aglaya Ivanovna must have it." + +"No finessing, please. What did you write about?" + +"I am not finessing, and I am not in the least afraid of telling +you; but I don't see the slightest reason why I should not have +written." + +"Be quiet, you can talk afterwards! What was the letter about? +Why are you blushing?" + +The prince was silent. At last he spoke. + +"I don't understand your thoughts, Lizabetha Prokofievna; but I +can see that the fact of my having written is for some reason +repugnant to you. You must admit that I have a perfect right to +refuse to answer your questions; but, in order to show you that I +am neither ashamed of the letter, nor sorry that I wrote it, and +that I am not in the least inclined to blush about it "(here the +prince's blushes redoubled), "I will repeat the substance of my +letter, for I think I know it almost by heart." + +So saying, the prince repeated the letter almost word for word, +as he had written it. + +"My goodness, what utter twaddle, and what may all this nonsense +have signified, pray? If it had any meaning at all!" said Mrs. +Epanchin, cuttingly, after having listened with great attention. + +"I really don't absolutely know myself; I know my feeling was +very sincere. I had moments at that time full of life and hope." + +"What sort of hope?" + +"It is difficult to explain, but certainly not the hopes you have +in your mind. Hopes--well, in a word, hopes for the future, and a +feeling of joy that THERE, at all events, I was not entirely a +stranger and a foreigner. I felt an ecstasy in being in my native +land once more; and one sunny morning I took up a pen and wrote +her that letter, but why to HER, I don't quite know. Sometimes +one longs to have a friend near, and I evidently felt the need of +one then," added the prince, and paused. + +"Are you in love with her?" + +"N-no! I wrote to her as to a sister; I signed myself her +brother." + +"Oh yes, of course, on purpose! I quite understand." + +"It is very painful to me to answer these questions, Lizabetha +Prokofievna." + +"I dare say it is; but that's no affair of mine. Now then, assure +me truly as before Heaven, are you lying to me or not?" + +"No, I am not lying." + +"Are you telling the truth when you say you are not in love?" + +"I believe it is the absolute truth." + +"'I believe,' indeed! Did that mischievous urchin give it to +her?" + +"I asked Nicolai Ardalionovitch . . ." + +"The urchin! the urchin!" interrupted Lizabetha Prokofievna in an +angry voice. "I do not want to know if it were Nicolai +Ardalionovitch! The urchin!" + +"Nicolai Ardalionovitch . . ." + +"The urchin, I tell you!" + +"No, it was not the urchin: it was Nicolai Ardalionovitch," said +the prince very firmly, but without raising his voice. + +"Well, all right! All right, my dear! I shall put that down to +your account." + +She was silent a moment to get breath, and to recover her +composure. + +"Well!--and what's the meaning of the 'poor knight,' eh?" + +"I don't know in the least; I wasn't present when the joke was +made. It IS a joke. I suppose, and that's all." + +"Well, that's a comfort, at all events. You don't suppose she +could take any interest in you, do you? Why, she called you an +'idiot' herself." + +"I think you might have spared me that," murmured the prince +reproachfully, almost in a whisper. + +"Don't be angry; she is a wilful, mad, spoilt girl. If she likes +a person she will pitch into him, and chaff him. I used to be +just such another. But for all that you needn't flatter yourself, +my boy; she is not for you. I don't believe it, and it is not to +be. I tell you so at once, so that you may take proper +precautions. Now, I want to hear you swear that you are not +married to that woman?" + +"Lizabetha Prokofievna, what are you thinking of?" cried the +prince, almost leaping to his feet in amazement. + +"Why? You very nearly were, anyhow." + +"Yes--I nearly was," whispered the prince, hanging his head. + +"Well then, have you come here for HER? Are you in love with HER? +With THAT creature?" + +"I did not come to marry at all," replied the prince. + +"Is there anything you hold sacred?" + +"There is." + +"Then swear by it that you did not come here to marry HER!" + +"I'll swear it by whatever you please." + +"I believe you. You may kiss me; I breathe freely at last. But +you must know, my dear friend, Aglaya does not love you, and she +shall never be your wife while I am out of my grave. So be warned +in time. Do you hear me?" + +"Yes, I hear." + +The prince flushed up so much that he could not look her in the +face. + +"I have waited for you with the greatest impatience (not that you +were worth it). Every night I have drenched my pillow with tears, +not for you, my friend, not for you, don't flatter yourself! I +have my own grief, always the same, always the same. But I'll +tell you why I have been awaiting you so impatiently, because I +believe that Providence itself sent you to be a friend and a +brother to me. I haven't a friend in the world except Princess +Bielokonski, and she is growing as stupid as a sheep from old +age. Now then, tell me, yes or no? Do you know why she called out +from her carriage the other night?" + +"I give you my word of honour that I had nothing to do with the +matter and know nothing about it." + +"Very well, I believe you. I have my own ideas about it. Up to +yesterday morning I thought it was really Evgenie Pavlovitch who +was to blame; now I cannot help agreeing with the others. But why +he was made such a fool of I cannot understand. However, he is +not going to marry Aglaya, I can tell you that. He may be a very +excellent fellow, but--so it shall be. I was not at all sure of +accepting him before, but now I have quite made up my mind that I +won't have him. 'Put me in my coffin first and then into my +grave, and then you may marry my daughter to whomsoever you +please,' so I said to the general this very morning. You see how +I trust you, my boy." + +"Yes, I see and understand." + +Mrs. Epanchin gazed keenly into the prince's eyes. She was +anxious to see what impression the news as to Evgenie Pavlovitch +had made upon him. + +"Do you know anything about Gavrila Ardalionovitch?" she asked at +last. + +"Oh yes, I know a good deal." + +"Did you know he had communications with Aglaya?" + +"No, I didn't," said the prince, trembling a little, and in great +agitation. "You say Gavrila Ardalionovitch has private +communications with Aglaya?--Impossible!" + +"Only quite lately. His sister has been working like a rat to +clear the way for him all the winter." + +"I don't believe it!" said the prince abruptly, after a short +pause. "Had it been so I should have known long ago." + +"Oh, of course, yes; he would have come and wept out his secret +on your bosom. Oh, you simpleton--you simpleton! Anyone can +deceive you and take you in like a--like a,--aren't you ashamed +to trust him? Can't you see that he humbugs you just as much as +ever he pleases?" + +"I know very well that he does deceive me occasionally, and he +knows that I know it, but--" The prince did not finish his +sentence. + +"And that's why you trust him, eh? So I should have supposed. +Good Lord, was there ever such a man as you? Tfu! and are you +aware, sir, that this Gania, or his sister Varia, have brought +her into correspondence with Nastasia Philipovna?" + +"Brought whom?" cried Muishkin. + +"Aglaya." + +"I don't believe it! It's impossible! What object could they +have?" He jumped up from his chair in his excitement. + +"Nor do I believe it, in spite of the proofs. The girl is self- +willed and fantastic, and insane! She's wicked, wicked! I'll +repeat it for a thousand years that she's wicked; they ALL are, +just now, all my daughters, even that 'wet hen' Alexandra. And +yet I don't believe it. Because I don't choose to believe it, +perhaps; but I don't. Why haven't you been?" she turned on the +prince suddenly. "Why didn't you come near us all these three +days, eh?" + +The prince began to give his reasons, but she interrupted him +again. + +"Everybody takes you in and deceives you; you went to town +yesterday. I dare swear you went down on your knees to that +rogue, and begged him to accept your ten thousand roubles!" + +"I never thought of doing any such thing. I have not seen him, +and he is not a rogue, in my opinion. I have had a letter from +him." + +"Show it me!" + +The prince took a paper from his pocket-book, and handed it to +Lizabetha Prokofievna. It ran as follows: + +"SIR, + + "In the eyes of the world I am sure that I have no +cause for pride or self-esteem. I am much too insignificant +for that. But what may be so to other men's eyes is not +so to yours. I am convinced that you are better than other +people. Doktorenko disagrees with me, but I am content +to differ from him on this point. I will never accept one +single copeck from you, but you have helped my mother, +and I am bound to be grateful to you for that, however +weak it may seem. At any rate, I have changed my +opinion about you, and I think right to inform you of the +fact; but I also suppose that there can be no further inter +course between us " ANTIP BURDOVSKY. + +"P.S.--The two hundred roubles I owe you shall certainly be +repaid in time." + +"How extremely stupid!" cried Mrs. Epanchin, giving back the +letter abruptly. "It was not worth the trouble of reading. Why +are you smiling?" + +"Confess that you are pleased to have read it." + +"What! Pleased with all that nonsense! Why, cannot you see that +they are all infatuated with pride and vanity?" + +"He has acknowledged himself to be in the wrong. Don't you see +that the greater his vanity, the more difficult this admission +must have been on his part? Oh, what a little child you are, +Lizabetha Prokofievna!" + +"Are you tempting me to box your ears for you, or what?" + +"Not at all. I am only proving that you are glad about the +letter. Why conceal your real feelings? You always like to do +it." + +"Never come near my house again!" cried Mrs. Epanchin, pale with +rage. "Don't let me see as much as a SHADOW of you about the +place! Do you hear?" + +"Oh yes, and in three days you'll come and invite me yourself. +Aren't you ashamed now? These are your best feelings; you are +only tormenting yourself." + +"I'll die before I invite you! I shall forget your very name! +I've forgotten it already!" + +She marched towards the door. + +"But I'm forbidden your house as it is, without your added +threats!" cried the prince after her. + +"What? Who forbade you?" + +She turned round so suddenly that one might have supposed a +needle had been stuck into her. + +The prince hesitated. He perceived that he had said too much now. + +"WHO forbade you?" cried Mrs. Epanchin once more. + +"Aglaya Ivanovna told me--" + +"When? Speak--quick!" + +"She sent to say, yesterday morning, that I was never to dare to +come near the house again." + +Lizabetha Prokofievna stood like a stone. + +"What did she send? Whom? Was it that boy? Was it a message?- +quick!" + +"I had a note," said the prince. + +"Where is it? Give it here, at once." + +The prince thought a moment. Then he pulled out of his waistcoat +pocket an untidy slip of paper, on which was scrawled: + +"PRINCE LEF NICOLAIEVITCH,--If you think fit, after all that has +passed, to honour our house with a visit, I can assure you you +will not find me among the number of those who are in any way +delighted to see you. + + "AGLAYA EPANCHIN." + +Mrs. Epanchin reflected a moment. The next minute she flew at the +prince, seized his hand, and dragged him after her to the door. + +"Quick--come along!" she cried, breathless with agitation and +impatience. "Come along with me this moment!" + +"But you declared I wasn't--" + +"Don't be a simpleton. You behave just as though you weren't a +man at all. Come on! I shall see, now, with my own eyes. I shall +see all." + +"Well, let me get my hat, at least." + +"Here's your miserable hat He couldn't even choose a respectable +shape for his hat! Come on! She did that because I took your part +and said you ought to have come--little vixen!--else she would +never have sent you that silly note. It's a most improper note, I +call it; most improper for such an intelligent, well-brought-up +girl to write. H'm! I dare say she was annoyed that you didn't +come; but she ought to have known that one can't write like that +to an idiot like you, for you'd be sure to take it literally." +Mrs. Epanchin was dragging the prince along with her all the +time, and never let go of his hand for an instant. "What are you +listening for?" she added, seeing that she had committed herself +a little. "She wants a clown like you--she hasn't seen one for +some time--to play with. That's why she is anxious for you to +come to the house. And right glad I am that she'll make a +thorough good fool of you. You deserve it; and she can do it--oh! +she can, indeed!--as well as most people." + +PART III + +I. + +THE Epanchin family, or at least the more serious members of it, +were sometimes grieved because they seemed so unlike the rest of +the world. They were not quite certain, but had at times a strong +suspicion that things did not happen to them as they did to other +people. Others led a quiet, uneventful life, while they were +subject to continual upheavals. Others kept on the rails without +difficulty; they ran off at the slightest obstacle. Other houses +were governed by a timid routine; theirs was somehow different. +Perhaps Lizabetha Prokofievna was alone in making these fretful +observations; the girls, though not wanting in intelligence, were +still young; the general was intelligent, too, but narrow, and in +any difficulty he was content to say, "H'm!" and leave the matter +to his wife. Consequently, on her fell the responsibility. It was +not that they distinguished themselves as a family by any +particular originality, or that their excursions off the track +led to any breach of the proprieties. Oh no. + +There was nothing premeditated, there was not even any conscious +purpose in it all, and yet, in spite of everything, the family, +although highly respected, was not quite what every highly +respected family ought to be. For a long time now Lizabetha +Prokofievna had had it in her mind that all the trouble was owing +to her "unfortunate character, "and this added to her distress. +She blamed her own stupid unconventional "eccentricity." Always +restless, always on the go, she constantly seemed to lose her +way, and to get into trouble over the simplest and more ordinary +affairs of life. + +We said at the beginning of our story, that the Epanchins were +liked and esteemed by their neighbours. In spite of his humble +origin, Ivan Fedorovitch himself was received everywhere with +respect. He deserved this, partly on account of his wealth and +position, partly because, though limited, he was really a very +good fellow. But a certain limitation of mind seems to be an +indispensable asset, if not to all public personages, at least to +all serious financiers. Added to this, his manner was modest and +unassuming; he knew when to be silent, yet never allowed himself +to be trampled upon. Also--and this was more important than all-- +he had the advantage of being under exalted patronage. + +As to Lizabetha Prokofievna, she, as the reader knows, belonged +to an aristocratic family. True, Russians think more of +influential friends than of birth, but she had both. She was +esteemed and even loved by people of consequence in society, +whose example in receiving her was therefore followed by others. +It seems hardly necessary to remark that her family worries and +anxieties had little or no foundation, or that her imagination +increased them to an absurd degree; but if you have a wart on +your forehead or nose, you imagine that all the world is looking +at it, and that people would make fun of you because of it, even +if you had discovered America! Doubtless Lizabetha Prokofievna +was considered "eccentric" in society, but she was none the less +esteemed: the pity was that she was ceasing to believe in that +esteem. When she thought of her daughters, she said to herself +sorrowfully that she was a hindrance rather than a help to their +future, that her character and temper were absurd, ridiculous, +insupportable. Naturally, she put the blame on her surroundings, +and from morning to night was quarrelling with her husband and +children, whom she really loved to the point of self-sacrifice, +even, one might say, of passion. + +She was, above all distressed by the idea that her daughters +might grow up "eccentric," like herself; she believed that no +other society girls were like them. "They are growing into +Nihilists!" she repeated over and over again. For years she had +tormented herself with this idea, and with the question: "Why +don't they get married?" + +"It is to annoy their mother; that is their one aim in life; it +can be nothing else. The fact is it is all of a piece with these +modern ideas, that wretched woman's question! Six months ago +Aglaya took a fancy to cut off her magnificent hair. Why, even I, +when I was young, had nothing like it! The scissors were in her +hand, and I had to go down on my knees and implore her... She +did it, I know, from sheer mischief, to spite her mother, for she +is a naughty, capricious girl, a real spoiled child spiteful and +mischievous to a degree! And then Alexandra wanted to shave her +head, not from caprice or mischief, but, like a little fool, +simply because Aglaya persuaded her she would sleep better +without her hair, and not suffer from headache! And how many +suitors have they not had during the last five years! Excellent +offers, too! What more do they want? Why don't they get married? +For no other reason than to vex their mother--none--none!" + +But Lizabetha Prokofievna felt somewhat consoled when she could +say that one of her girls, Adelaida, was settled at last. "It +will be one off our hands!" she declared aloud, though in private +she expressed herself with greater tenderness. The engagement was +both happy and suitable, and was therefore approved in society. +Prince S. was a distinguished man, he had money, and his future +wife was devoted to him; what more could be desired? Lizabetha +Prokofievna had felt less anxious about this daughter, however, +although she considered her artistic tastes suspicious. But to +make up for them she was, as her mother expressed it, "merry," +and had plenty of "common-sense." It was Aglaya's future which +disturbed her most. With regard to her eldest daughter, +Alexandra, the mother never quite knew whether there was cause +for anxiety or not. Sometimes she felt as if there was nothing to +be expected from her. She was twenty-five now, and must be fated +to be an old maid, and "with such beauty, too!" The mother spent +whole nights in weeping and lamenting, while all the time the +cause of her grief slumbered peacefully. "What is the matter with +her? Is she a Nihilist, or simply a fool?" + +But Lizabetha Prokofievna knew perfectly well how unnecessary was +the last question. She set a high value on Alexandra Ivanovna's +judgment, and often consulted her in difficulties; but that she +was a 'wet hen' she never for a moment doubted. "She is so calm; +nothing rouses her--though wet hens are not always calm! Oh! I +can't understand it!" Her eldest daughter inspired Lizabetha with +a kind of puzzled compassion. She did not feel this in Aglaya's +case, though the latter was her idol. It may be said that these +outbursts and epithets, such as "wet hen "(in which the maternal +solicitude usually showed itself), only made Alexandra laugh. +Sometimes the most trivial thing annoyed Mrs. Epanchin, and drove +her into a frenzy. For instance, Alexandra Ivanovna liked to +sleep late, and was always dreaming, though her dreams had the +peculiarity of being as innocent and naive as those of a child of +seven; and the very innocence of her dreams annoyed her mother. +Once she dreamt of nine hens, and this was the cause of quite a +serious quarrel--no one knew why. Another time she had--it was +most unusual--a dream with a spark of originality in it. She +dreamt of a monk in a dark room, into which she was too +frightened to go. Adelaida and Aglaya rushed off with shrieks of +laughter to relate this to their mother, but she was quite angry, +and said her daughters were all fools. + +"H'm! she is as stupid as a fool! A veritable 'wet hen'! Nothing +excites her; and yet she is not happy; some days it makes one +miserable only to look at her! Why is she unhappy, I wonder?" At +times Lizabetha Prokofievna put this question to her husband, and +as usual she spoke in the threatening tone of one who demands an +immediate answer. Ivan Fedorovitch would frown, shrug his +shoulders, and at last give his opinion: "She needs a husband!" + +"God forbid that he should share your ideas, Ivan Fedorovitch!" +his wife flashed back. "Or that he should be as gross and +churlish as you!" + +The general promptly made his escape, and Lizabetha Prokofievna +after a while grew calm again. That evening, of course, she would +be unusually attentive, gentle, and respectful to her "gross and +churlish" husband, her "dear, kind Ivan Fedorovitch," for she had +never left off loving him. She was even still "in love" with him. +He knew it well, and for his part held her in the greatest +esteem. + +But the mother's great and continual anxiety was Aglaya. "She is +exactly like me--my image in everything," said Mrs. Epanchin to +herself. "A tyrant! A real little demon! A Nihilist! Eccentric, +senseless and mischievous! Good Lord, how unhappy she will be!" + +But as we said before, the fact of Adelaida's approaching +marriage was balm to the mother. For a whole month she forgot her +fears and worries. + +Adelaida's fate was settled; and with her name that of Aglaya's +was linked, in society gossip. People whispered that Aglaya, too, +was "as good as engaged;" and Aglaya always looked so sweet and +behaved so well (during this period), that the mother's heart was +full of joy. Of course, Evgenie Pavlovitch must be thoroughly +studied first, before the final step should be taken; but, +really, how lovely dear Aglaya had become--she actually grew more +beautiful every day! And then--Yes, and then--this abominable +prince showed his face again, and everything went topsy-turvy at +once, and everyone seemed as mad as March hares. + +What had really happened? + +If it had been any other family than the Epanchins', nothing +particular would have happened. But, thanks to Mrs. Epanchin's +invariable fussiness and anxiety, there could not be the +slightest hitch in the simplest matters of everyday life, but she +immediately foresaw the most dreadful and alarming consequences, +and suffered accordingly. + +What then must have been her condition, when, among all the +imaginary anxieties and calamities which so constantly beset her, +she now saw looming ahead a serious cause for annoyance-- +something really likely to arouse doubts and suspicions! + +"How dared they, how DARED they write that hateful anonymous +letter informing me that Aglaya is in communication with Nastasia +Philipovna?" she thought, as she dragged the prince along towards +her own house, and again when she sat him down at the round table +where the family was already assembled. "How dared they so much +as THINK of such a thing? I should DIE with shame if I thought +there was a particle of truth in it, or if I were to show the +letter to Aglaya herself! Who dares play these jokes upon US, the +Epanchins? WHY didn't we go to the Yelagin instead of coming down +here? I TOLD you we had better go to the Yelagin this summer, +Ivan Fedorovitch. It's all your fault. I dare say it was that +Varia who sent the letter. It's all Ivan Fedorovitch. THAT woman +is doing it all for him, I know she is, to show she can make a +fool of him now just as she did when he used to give her pearls. + +"But after all is said, we are mixed up in it. Your daughters are +mixed up in it, Ivan Fedorovitch; young ladies in society, young +ladies at an age to be married; they were present, they heard +everything there was to hear. They were mixed up with that other +scene, too, with those dreadful youths. You must be pleased to +remember they heard it all. I cannot forgive that wretched +prince. I never shall forgive him! And why, if you please, has +Aglaya had an attack of nerves for these last three days? Why has +she all but quarrelled with her sisters, even with Alexandra-- +whom she respects so much that she always kisses her hands as +though she were her mother? What are all these riddles of hers +that we have to guess? What has Gavrila Ardalionovitch to do with +it? Why did she take upon herself to champion him this morning, +and burst into tears over it? Why is there an allusion to that +cursed 'poor knight' in the anonymous letter? And why did I rush +off to him just now like a lunatic, and drag him back here? I do +believe I've gone mad at last. What on earth have I done now? To +talk to a young man about my daughter's secrets--and secrets +having to do with himself, too! Thank goodness, he's an idiot, +and a friend of the house! Surely Aglaya hasn't fallen in love +with such a gaby! What an idea! Pfu! we ought all to be put under +glass cases--myself first of all--and be shown off as +curiosities, at ten copecks a peep!" + +"I shall never forgive you for all this, Ivan Fedorovitch--never! +Look at her now. Why doesn't she make fun of him? She said she +would, and she doesn't. Look there! She stares at him with all +her eyes, and doesn't move; and yet she told him not to come. He +looks pale enough; and that abominable chatterbox, Evgenie +Pavlovitch, monopolizes the whole of the conversation. Nobody +else can get a word in. I could soon find out all about +everything if I could only change the subject." + +The prince certainly was very pale. He sat at the table and +seemed to be feeling, by turns, sensations of alarm and rapture. + +Oh, how frightened he was of looking to one side--one particular +corner--whence he knew very well that a pair of dark eyes were +watching him intently, and how happy he was to think that he was +once more among them, and occasionally hearing that well-known +voice, although she had written and forbidden him to come again! + +"What on earth will she say to me, I wonder?" he thought to +himself. + +He had not said a word yet; he sat silent and listened to Evgenie +Pavlovitch's eloquence. The latter had never appeared so happy +and excited as on this evening. The prince listened to him, but +for a long time did not take in a word he said. + +Excepting Ivan Fedorovitch, who had not as yet returned from +town, the whole family was present. Prince S. was there; and they +all intended to go out to hear the band very soon. + +Colia arrived presently and joined the circle. "So he is received +as usual, after all," thought the prince. + +The Epanchins' country-house was a charming building, built after +the model of a Swiss chalet, and covered with creepers. It was +surrounded on all sides by a flower garden, and the family sat, +as a rule, on the open verandah as at the prince's house. + +The subject under discussion did not appear to be very popular +with the assembly, and some would have been delighted to change +it; but Evgenie would not stop holding forth, and the prince's +arrival seemed to spur him on to still further oratorical +efforts. + +Lizabetha Prokofievna frowned, but had not as yet grasped the +subject, which seemed to have arisen out of a heated argument. +Aglaya sat apart, almost in the corner, listening in stubborn +silence. + +"Excuse me," continued Evgenie Pavlovitch hotly, "I don't say a +word against liberalism. Liberalism is not a sin, it is a +necessary part of a great whole, which whole would collapse and +fall to pieces without it. Liberalism has just as much right to +exist as has the most moral conservatism; but I am attacking +RUSSIAN liberalism; and I attack it for the simple reason that a +Russian liberal is not a Russian liberal, he is a non-Russian +liberal. Show me a real Russian liberal, and I'll kiss him before +you all, with pleasure." + +"If he cared to kiss you, that is," said Alexandra, whose cheeks +were red with irritation and excitement. + +"Look at that, now," thought the mother to herself, "she does +nothing but sleep and eat for a year at a time, and then suddenly +flies out in the most incomprehensible way!" + +The prince observed that Alexandra appeared to be angry with +Evgenie, because he spoke on a serious subject in a frivolous +manner, pretending to be in earnest, but with an under-current of +irony. + +"I was saying just now, before you came in, prince, that there +has been nothing national up to now, about our liberalism, and +nothing the liberals do, or have done, is in the least degree +national. They are drawn from two classes only, the old +landowning class, and clerical families--" + +"How, nothing that they have done is Russian?" asked Prince S. + +"It may be Russian, but it is not national. Our liberals are not +Russian, nor are our conservatives, and you may be sure that the +nation does not recognize anything that has been done by the +landed gentry, or by the seminarists, or what is to be done +either." + +"Come, that's good! How can you maintain such a paradox? If you +are serious, that is. I cannot allow such a statement about the +landed proprietors to pass unchallenged. Why, you are a landed +proprietor yourself!" cried Prince S. hotly. + +"I suppose you'll say there is nothing national about our +literature either?" said Alexandra. + +"Well, I am not a great authority on literary questions, but I +certainly do hold that Russian literature is not Russian, except +perhaps Lomonosoff, Pouschkin and Gogol." + +"In the first place, that is a considerable admission, and in the +second place, one of the above was a peasant, and the other two +were both landed proprietors!" + +"Quite so, but don't be in such a hurry! For since it has been +the part of these three men, and only these three, to say +something absolutely their own, not borrowed, so by this very +fact these three men become really national. If any Russian shall +have done or said anything really and absolutely original, he is +to be called national from that moment, though he may not be able +to talk the Russian language; still he is a national Russian. I +consider that an axiom. But we were not speaking of literature; +we began by discussing the socialists. Very well then, I insist +that there does not exist one single Russian socialist. There +does not, and there has never existed such a one, because all +socialists are derived from the two classes--the landed +proprietors, and the seminarists. All our eminent socialists are +merely old liberals of the class of landed proprietors, men who +were liberals in the days of serfdom. Why do you laugh? Give me +their books, give me their studies, their memoirs, and though I +am not a literary critic, yet I will prove as clear as day that +every chapter and every word of their writings has been the work +of a former landed proprietor of the old school. You'll find that +all their raptures, all their generous transports are +proprietary, all their woes and their tears, proprietary; all +proprietary or seminarist! You are laughing again, and you, +prince, are smiling too. Don't you agree with me?" + +It was true enough that everybody was laughing, the prince among +them. + +"I cannot tell you on the instant whether I agree with you or +not," said the latter, suddenly stopping his laughter, and +starting like a schoolboy caught at mischief. "But, I assure you, +I am listening to you with extreme gratification." + +So saying, he almost panted with agitation, and a cold sweat +stood upon his forehead. These were his first words since he had +entered the house; he tried to lift his eyes, and look around, +but dared not; Evgenie Pavlovitch noticed his confusion, and +smiled. + +"I'll just tell you one fact, ladies and gentlemen," continued +the latter, with apparent seriousness and even exaltation of +manner, but with a suggestion of "chaff" behind every word, as +though he were laughing in his sleeve at his own nonsense--"a +fact, the discovery of which, I believe, I may claim to have made +by myself alone. At all events, no other has ever said or written +a word about it; and in this fact is expressed the whole essence +of Russian liberalism of the sort which I am now considering. + +"In the first place, what is liberalism, speaking generally, but +an attack (whether mistaken or reasonable, is quite another +question) upon the existing order of things? Is this so? Yes. +Very well. Then my 'fact' consists in this, that RUSSIAN +liberalism is not an attack upon the existing order of things, +but an attack upon the very essence of things themselves--indeed, +on the things themselves; not an attack on the Russian order of +things, but on Russia itself. My Russian liberal goes so far as +to reject Russia; that is, he hates and strikes his own mother. +Every misfortune and mishap of the mother-country fills him with +mirth, and even with ecstasy. He hates the national customs, +Russian history, and everything. If he has a justification, it is +that he does not know what he is doing, and believes that his +hatred of Russia is the grandest and most profitable kind of +liberalism. (You will often find a liberal who is applauded and +esteemed by his fellows, but who is in reality the dreariest, +blindest, dullest of conservatives, and is not aware of the +fact.) This hatred for Russia has been mistaken by some of our +'Russian liberals' for sincere love of their country, and they +boast that they see better than their neighbours what real love +of one's country should consist in. But of late they have grown, +more candid and are ashamed of the expression 'love of country,' +and have annihilated the very spirit of the words as something +injurious and petty and undignified. This is the truth, and I +hold by it; but at the same time it is a phenomenon which has not +been repeated at any other time or place; and therefore, though I +hold to it as a fact, yet I recognize that it is an accidental +phenomenon, and may likely enough pass away. There can be no such +thing anywhere else as a liberal who really hates his country; +and how is this fact to be explained among US? By my original +statement that a Russian liberal is NOT a RUSSIAN liberal--that's +the only explanation that I can see." + +"I take all that you have said as a joke," said Prince S. +seriously. + +"I have not seen all kinds of liberals, and cannot, therefore, +set myself up as a judge," said Alexandra, "but I have heard all +you have said with indignation. You have taken some accidental +case and twisted it into a universal law, which is unjust." + +"Accidental case!" said Evgenie Pavlovitch. "Do you consider it +an accidental case, prince?" + +"I must also admit," said the prince, "that I have not seen much, +or been very far into the question; but I cannot help thinking +that you are more or less right, and that Russian liberalism-- +that phase of it which you are considering, at least--really is +sometimes inclined to hate Russia itself, and not only its +existing order of things in general. Of course this is only +PARTIALLY the truth; you cannot lay down the law for all..." + +The prince blushed and broke off, without finishing what he meant +to say. + +In spite of his shyness and agitation, he could not help being +greatly interested in the conversation. A special characteristic +of his was the naive candour with which he always listened to +arguments which interested him, and with which he answered any +questions put to him on the subject at issue. In the very +expression of his face this naivete was unmistakably evident, +this disbelief in the insincerity of others, and unsuspecting +disregard of irony or humour in their words. + +But though Evgenie Pavlovitch had put his questions to the prince +with no other purpose but to enjoy the joke of his simple-minded +seriousness, yet now, at his answer, he was surprised into some +seriousness himself, and looked gravely at Muishkin as though he +had not expected that sort of answer at all. + +"Why, how strange!" he ejaculated. "You didn't answer me +seriously, surely, did you?" + +"Did not you ask me the question seriously" inquired the prince, +in amazement. + +Everybody laughed. + +"Oh, trust HIM for that!" said Adelaida. "Evgenie Pavlovitch +turns everything and everybody he can lay hold of to ridicule. +You should hear the things he says sometimes, apparently in +perfect seriousness." + +"In my opinion the conversation has been a painful one +throughout, and we ought never to have begun it," said Alexandra. +"We were all going for a walk--" + +"Come along then," said Evgenie; "it's a glorious evening. But, +to prove that this time I was speaking absolutely seriously, and +especially to prove this to the prince (for you, prince, have +interested me exceedingly, and I swear to you that I am not quite +such an ass as I like to appear sometimes, although I am rather +an ass, I admit), and--well, ladies and gentlemen, will you allow +me to put just one more question to the prince, out of pure +curiosity? It shall be the last. This question came into my mind +a couple of hours since (you see, prince, I do think seriously at +times), and I made my own decision upon it; now I wish to hear +what the prince will say to it." + +"We have just used the expression 'accidental case.' This is a +significant phrase; we often hear it. Well, not long since +everyone was talking and reading about that terrible murder of +six people on the part of a--young fellow, and of the +extraordinary speech of the counsel for the defence, who observed +that in the poverty-stricken condition of the criminal it must +have come NATURALLY into his head to kill these six people. I do +not quote his words, but that is the sense of them, or something +very like it. Now, in my opinion, the barrister who put forward +this extraordinary plea was probably absolutely convinced that he +was stating the most liberal, the most humane, the most +enlightened view of the case that could possibly be brought +forward in these days. Now, was this distortion, this capacity +for a perverted way of viewing things, a special or accidental +case, or is such a general rule?" + +Everyone laughed at this. + +"A special case--accidental, of course!" cried Alexandra and +Adelaida. + +"Let me remind you once more, Evgenie," said Prince S., "that +your joke is getting a little threadbare." + +"What do you think about it, prince?" asked Evgenie, taking no +notice of the last remark, and observing Muishkin's serious eyes +fixed upon his face. "What do you think--was it a special or a +usual case--the rule, or an exception? I confess I put the +question especially for you." + +"No, I don't think it was a special case," said the prince, +quietly, but firmly. + +"My dear fellow!" cried Prince S., with some annoyance, "don't +you see that he is chaffing you? He is simply laughing at you, +and wants to make game of you." + +"I thought Evgenie Pavlovitch was talking seriously," said the +prince, blushing and dropping his eyes. + +"My dear prince," continued Prince S. "remember what you and I +were saying two or three months ago. We spoke of the fact that in +our newly opened Law Courts one could already lay one's finger +upon so many talented and remarkable young barristers. How +pleased you were with the state of things as we found it, and how +glad I was to observe your delight! We both said it was a matter +to be proud of; but this clumsy defence that Evgenie mentions, +this strange argument CAN, of course, only be an accidental case +--one in a thousand!" + +The prince reflected a little, but very soon he replied, with +absolute conviction in his tone, though he still spoke somewhat +shyly and timidly: + +"I only wished to say that this 'distortion,' as Evgenie +Pavlovitch expressed it, is met with very often, and is far more +the general rule than the exception, unfortunately for Russia. So +much so, that if this distortion were not the general rule, +perhaps these dreadful crimes would be less frequent." + +"Dreadful crimes? But I can assure you that crimes just as +dreadful, and probably more horrible, have occurred before our +times, and at all times, and not only here in Russia, but +everywhere else as well. And in my opinion it is not at all +likely that such murders will cease to occur for a very long time +to come. The only difference is that in former times there was +less publicity, while now everyone talks and writes freely about +such things--which fact gives the impression that such crimes +have only now sprung into existence. That is where your mistake +lies--an extremely natural mistake, I assure you, my dear +fellow!" said Prince S. + +"I know that there were just as many, and just as terrible, +crimes before our times. Not long since I visited a convict +prison and made acquaintance with some of the criminals. There +were some even more dreadful criminals than this one we have been +speaking of--men who have murdered a dozen of their fellow- +creatures, and feel no remorse whatever. But what I especially +noticed was this, that the very most hopeless and remorseless +murderer--however hardened a criminal he may be--still KNOWS THAT +HE IS A CRIMINAL; that is, he is conscious that he has acted +wickedly, though he may feel no remorse whatever. And they were +all like this. Those of whom Evgenie Pavlovitch has spoken, do +not admit that they are criminals at all; they think they had a +right to do what they did, and that they were even doing a good +deed, perhaps. I consider there is the greatest difference +between the two cases. And recollect--it was a YOUTH, at the +particular age which is most helplessly susceptible to the +distortion of ideas!" + +Prince S. was now no longer smiling; he gazed at the prince in +bewilderment. + +Alexandra, who had seemed to wish to put in her word when the +prince began, now sat silent, as though some sudden thought had +caused her to change her mind about speaking. + +Evgenie Pavlovitch gazed at him in real surprise, and this time +his expression of face had no mockery in it whatever. + +"What are you looking so surprised about, my friend?" asked Mrs. +Epanchin, suddenly. "Did you suppose he was stupider than +yourself, and was incapable of forming his own opinions, or +what?" + +"No! Oh no! Not at all!" said Evgenie. "But--how is it, prince, +that you--(excuse the question, will you?)--if you are capable of +observing and seeing things as you evidently do, how is it that +you saw nothing distorted or perverted in that claim upon your +property, which you acknowledged a day or two since; and which +was full of arguments founded upon the most distorted views of +right and wrong?" + +"I'll tell you what, my friend," cried Mrs. Epanchin, of a +sudden, "here are we all sitting here and imagining we are very +clever, and perhaps laughing at the prince, some of us, and +meanwhile he has received a letter this very day in which that +same claimant renounces his claim, and begs the prince's pardon. +There I we don't often get that sort of letter; and yet we are +not ashamed to walk with our noses in the air before him." + +"And Hippolyte has come down here to stay," said Colia, suddenly. + +"What! has he arrived?" said the prince, starting up. + +"Yes, I brought him down from town just after you had left the +house." + +"There now! It's just like him," cried Lizabetha Prokofievna, +boiling over once more, and entirely oblivious of the fact that +she had just taken the prince's part. "I dare swear that you went +up to town yesterday on purpose to get the little wretch to do +you the great honour of coming to stay at your house. You did go +up to town, you know you did--you said so yourself! Now then, did +you, or did you not, go down on your knees and beg him to come, +confess!" + +"No, he didn't, for I saw it all myself," said Colia. "On the +contrary, Hippolyte kissed his hand twice and thanked him; and +all the prince said was that he thought Hippolyte might feel +better here in the country!" + +"Don't, Colia,--what is the use of saying all that?" cried the +prince, rising and taking his hat. + +"Where are you going to now?" cried Mrs. Epanchin. + +"Never mind about him now, prince," said Colia. "He is all right +and taking a nap after the journey. He is very happy to be here; +but I think perhaps it would be better if you let him alone for +today,--he is very sensitive now that he is so ill--and he might +be embarrassed if you show him too much attention at first. He is +decidedly better today, and says he has not felt so well for the +last six months, and has coughed much less, too." + +The prince observed that Aglaya came out of her corner and +approached the table at this point. + +He did not dare look at her, but he was conscious, to the very +tips of his fingers, that she was gazing at him, perhaps angrily; +and that she had probably flushed up with a look of fiery +indignation in her black eyes. + +"It seems to me, Mr. Colia, that you were very foolish to bring +your young friend down--if he is the same consumptive boy who wept +so profusely, and invited us all to his own funeral," remarked +Evgenie Pavlovitch. "He talked so eloquently about the blank wall +outside his bedroom window, that I'm sure he will never support +life here without it. " + +"I think so too," said Mrs. Epanchin; "he will quarrel with you, +and be off," and she drew her workbox towards her with an air of +dignity, quite oblivious of the fact that the family was about to +start for a walk in the park. + +"Yes, I remember he boasted about the blank wall in an +extraordinary way," continued Evgenie, "and I feel that without +that blank wall he will never be able to die eloquently; and he +does so long to die eloquently!" + +"Oh, you must forgive him the blank wall," said the prince, +quietly. "He has come down to see a few trees now, poor fellow." + +"Oh, I forgive him with all my heart; you may tell him so if +you like," laughed Evgenie. + +"I don't think you should take it quite like that," said the +prince, quietly, and without removing his eyes from the carpet. +"I think it is more a case of his forgiving you " + +"Forgiving me! why so? What have I done to need his forgiveness?" + +"If you don't understand, then--but of course, you do understand. +He wished--he wished to bless you all round and to have your +blessing--before he died--that's all." + +"My dear prince," began Prince S., hurriedly, exchanging glances +with some of those present, "you will not easily find heaven on +earth, and yet you seem to expect to. Heaven is a difficult thing +to find anywhere, prince; far more difficult than appears to that +good heart of yours. Better stop this conversation, or we shall +all be growing quite disturbed in our minds, and--" + +"Let's go and hear the band, then," said Lizabetha Prokofievna, +angrily rising from her place. + +The rest of the company followed her example. + +II. + +THE prince suddenly approached Evgenie Pavlovitch. + +"Evgenie Pavlovitch," he said, with strange excitement and +seizing the latter's hand in his own, "be assured that I esteem +you as a generous and honourable man, in spite of everything. Be +assured of that." + +Evgenie Pavlovitch fell back a step in astonishment. For one +moment it was all he could do to restrain himself from bursting +out laughing; but, looking closer, he observed that the prince +did not seem to be quite himself; at all events, he was in a very +curious state. + +"I wouldn't mind betting, prince," he cried, "that you did not in +the least mean to say that, and very likely you meant to address +someone else altogether. What is it? Are you feeling unwell or +anything?" + +"Very likely, extremely likely, and you must be a very close +observer to detect the fact that perhaps I did not intend to come +up to YOU at all." + +So saying he smiled strangely; but suddenly and excitedly he +began again: + +"Don't remind me of what I have done or said. Don't! I am very +much ashamed of myself, I--" + +"Why, what have you done? I don't understand you." + +"I see you are ashamed of me, Evgenie Pavlovitch; you are +blushing for me; that's a sign of a good heart. Don't be afraid; +I shall go away directly." + +"What's the matter with him? Do his fits begin like that?" said +Lizabetha Prokofievna, in a high state of alarm, addressing +Colia. + +"No, no, Lizabetha Prokofievna, take no notice of me. I am not +going to have a fit. I will go away directly; but I know I am +afflicted. I was twenty-four years an invalid, you see--the first +twenty-four years of my life--so take all I do and say as the +sayings and actions of an invalid. I'm going away directly, I +really am--don't be afraid. I am not blushing, for I don't think I +need blush about it, need I? But I see that I am out of place in +society--society is better without me. It's not vanity, I assure +you. I have thought over it all these last three days, and I have +made up my mind that I ought to unbosom myself candidly before +you at the first opportunity. There are certain things, certain +great ideas, which I must not so much as approach, as Prince S. +has just reminded me, or I shall make you all laugh. I have no +sense of proportion, I know; my words and gestures do not express +my ideas--they are a humiliation and abasement of the ideas, and +therefore, I have no right--and I am too sensitive. Still, I +believe I am beloved in this household, and esteemed far more +than I deserve. But I can't help knowing that after twenty-four +years of illness there must be some trace left, so that it is +impossible for people to refrain from laughing at me sometimes; +don't you think so?" + +He seemed to pause for a reply, for some verdict, as it were, and +looked humbly around him. + +All present stood rooted to the earth with amazement at this +unexpected and apparently uncalled-for outbreak; but the poor +prince's painful and rambling speech gave rise to a strange +episode. + +"Why do you say all this here?" cried Aglaya, suddenly. "Why do +you talk like this to THEM?" + +She appeared to be in the last stages of wrath and irritation; +her eyes flashed. The prince stood dumbly and blindly before her, +and suddenly grew pale. + +"There is not one of them all who is worthy of these words of +yours," continued Aglaya. "Not one of them is worth your little +finger, not one of them has heart or head to compare with yours! +You are more honest than all, and better, nobler, kinder, wiser +than all. There are some here who are unworthy to bend and pick +up the handkerchief you have just dropped. Why do you humiliate +yourself like this, and place yourself lower than these people? +Why do you debase yourself before them? Why have you no pride?" + +"My God! Who would ever have believed this?" cried Mrs. Epanchin, +wringing her hands. + +"Hurrah for the 'poor knight'!" cried Colia. + +"Be quiet! How dare they laugh at me in your house?" said Aglaya, +turning sharply on her mother in that hysterical frame of mind +that rides recklessly over every obstacle and plunges blindly +through proprieties. "Why does everyone, everyone worry and +torment me? Why have they all been bullying me these three days +about you, prince? I will not marry you--never, and under no +circumstances! Know that once and for all; as if anyone could +marry an absurd creature like you! Just look in the glass and see +what you look like, this very moment! Why, WHY do they torment me +and say I am going to marry you? You must know it; you are in the +plot with them!" + +"No one ever tormented you on the subject," murmured Adelaida, +aghast. + +"No one ever thought of such a thing! There has never been a word +said about it!" cried Alexandra. + +"Who has been annoying her? Who has been tormenting the child? Who +could have said such a thing to her? Is she raving?" cried +Lizabetha Prokofievna, trembling with rage, to the company in +general. + +"Every one of them has been saying it--every one of them--all +these three days! And I will never, never marry him!" + +So saying, Aglaya burst into bitter tears, and, hiding her face +in her handkerchief, sank back into a chair. + +"But he has never even--" + +"I have never asked you to marry me, Aglaya Ivanovna!" said the +prince, of a sudden. + +"WHAT?" cried Mrs. Epanchin, raising her hands in horror. "WHAT'S +that?" + +She could not believe her ears. + +"I meant to say--I only meant to say," said the prince, +faltering, "I merely meant to explain to Aglaya Ivanovna--to have +the honour to explain, as it were--that I had no intention--never +had--to ask the honour of her hand. I assure you I am not guilty, +Aglaya Ivanovna, I am not, indeed. I never did wish to--I never +thought of it at all--and never shall--you'll see it yourself-- +you may be quite assured of it. Some wicked person has been +maligning me to you; but it's all right. Don't worry about it." + +So saying, the prince approached Aglaya. + +She took the handkerchief from her face, glanced keenly at him, +took in what he had said, and burst out laughing--such a merry, +unrestrained laugh, so hearty and gay, that. Adelaida could not +contain herself. She, too, glanced at the prince's panic-stricken +countenance, then rushed at her sister, threw her arms round her +neck, and burst into as merry a fit of laughter as Aglaya's own. +They laughed together like a couple of school-girls. Hearing and +seeing this, the prince smiled happily, and in accents of relief +and joy, he exclaimed "Well, thank God--thank God!" + +Alexandra now joined in, and it looked as though the three +sisters were going to laugh on for ever. + +"They are insane," muttered Lizabetha Prokofievna. "Either they +frighten one out of one's wits, or else--" + +But Prince S. was laughing now, too, so was Evgenie Pavlovitch, +so was Colia, and so was the prince himself, who caught the +infection as he looked round radiantly upon the others. + +"Come along, let's go out for a walk!" cried Adelaida. "We'll all +go together, and the prince must absolutely go with us. You +needn't go away, you dear good fellow! ISN'T he a dear, Aglaya? +Isn't he, mother? I must really give him a kiss for--for his +explanation to Aglaya just now. Mother, dear, I may kiss him, +mayn't I? Aglaya, may I kiss YOUR prince?" cried the young rogue, +and sure enough she skipped up to the prince and kissed his +forehead. + +He seized her hands, and pressed them so hard that Adelaida +nearly cried out; he then gazed with delight into her eyes, and +raising her right hand to his lips with enthusiasm, kissed it +three times. + +"Come along," said Aglaya. "Prince, you must walk with me. May +he, mother? This young cavalier, who won't have me? You said you +would NEVER have me, didn't you, prince? No-no, not like that; +THAT'S not the way to give your arm. Don't you know how to give +your arm to a lady yet? There--so. Now, come along, you and I +will lead the way. Would you like to lead the way with me alone, +tete-a-tete?" + +She went on talking and chatting without a pause, with occasional +little bursts of laughter between. + +"Thank God--thank God!" said Lizabetha Prokofievna to herself, +without quite knowing why she felt so relieved. + +"What extraordinary people they are!" thought Prince S., for +perhaps the hundredth time since he had entered into intimate +relations with the family; but--he liked these "extraordinary +people," all the same. As for Prince Lef Nicolaievitch himself, +Prince S. did not seem quite to like him, somehow. He was +decidedly preoccupied and a little disturbed as they all started +off. + +Evgenie Pavlovitch seemed to be in a lively humour. He made +Adelaida and Alexandra laugh all the way to the Vauxhall; but +they both laughed so very really and promptly that the worthy +Evgenie began at last to suspect that they were not listening to +him at all. + +At this idea, he burst out laughing all at once, in quite +unaffected mirth, and without giving any explanation. + +The sisters, who also appeared to be in high spirits, never tired +of glancing at Aglaya and the prince, who were walking in front. +It was evident that their younger sister was a thorough puzzle to +them both. + +Prince S. tried hard to get up a conversation with Mrs. Epanchin +upon outside subjects, probably with the good intention of +distracting and amusing her; but he bored her dreadfully. She was +absent-minded to a degree, and answered at cross purposes, and +sometimes not at all. + +But the puzzle and mystery of Aglaya was not yet over for the +evening. The last exhibition fell to the lot of the prince alone. +When they had proceeded some hundred paces or so from the house, +Aglaya said to her obstinately silent cavalier in a quick half- +whisper: + +"Look to the right!" + +The prince glanced in the direction indicated. + +"Look closer. Do you see that bench, in the park there, just by +those three big trees--that green bench?" + +The prince replied that he saw it. + +"Do you like the position of it? Sometimes of a morning early, at +seven o'clock, when all the rest are still asleep, I come out and +sit there alone." + +The prince muttered that the spot was a lovely one. + +"Now, go away, I don't wish to have your arm any longer; or +perhaps, better, continue to give me your arm, and walk along +beside me, but don't speak a word to me. I wish to think by +myself." + +The warning was certainly unnecessary; for the prince would not +have said a word all the rest of the time whether forbidden to +speak or not. His heart beat loud and painfully when Aglaya spoke +of the bench; could she--but no! he banished the thought, after +an instant's deliberation. + +At Pavlofsk, on weekdays, the public is more select than it is on +Sundays and Saturdays, when the townsfolk come down to walk about +and enjoy the park. + +The ladies dress elegantly, on these days, and it is the fashion +to gather round the band, which is probably the best of our +pleasure-garden bands, and plays the newest pieces. The behaviour +of the public is most correct and proper, and there is an +appearance of friendly intimacy among the usual frequenters. Many +come for nothing but to look at their acquaintances, but there +are others who come for the sake of the music. It is very seldom +that anything happens to break the harmony of the proceedings, +though, of course, accidents will happen everywhere. + +On this particular evening the weather was lovely, and there were +a large number of people present. All the places anywhere near +the orchestra were occupied. + +Our friends took chairs near the side exit. The crowd and the +music cheered Mrs. Epanchin a little, and amused the girls; they +bowed and shook hands with some of their friends and nodded at a +distance to others; they examined the ladies' dresses, noticed +comicalities and eccentricities among the people, and laughed and +talked among themselves. Evgenie Pavlovitch, too, found plenty of +friends to bow to. Several people noticed Aglaya and the prince, +who were still together. + +Before very long two or three young men had come up, and one or +two remained to talk; all of these young men appeared to be on +intimate terms with Evgenie Pavlovitch. Among them was a young +officer, a remarkably handsome fellow--very good-natured and a +great chatterbox. He tried to get up a conversation with Aglaya, +and did his best to secure her attention. Aglaya behaved very +graciously to him, and chatted and laughed merrily. Evgenie +Pavlovitch begged the prince's leave to introduce their friend to +him. The prince hardly realized what was wanted of him, but the +introduction came off; the two men bowed and shook hands. + +Evgenie Pavlovitch's friend asked the prince some question, but +the latter did not reply, or if he did, he muttered something so +strangely indistinct that there was nothing to be made of it. The +officer stared intently at him, then glanced at Evgenie, divined +why the latter had introduced him, and gave his undivided +attention to Aglaya again. Only Evgenie Pavlovitch observed that +Aglaya flushed up for a moment at this. + +The prince did not notice that others were talking and making +themselves agreeable to Aglaya; in fact, at moments, he almost +forgot that he was sitting by her himself. At other moments he +felt a longing to go away somewhere and be alone with his +thoughts, and to feel that no one knew where he was. + +Or if that were impossible he would like to be alone at home, on +the terrace-without either Lebedeff or his children, or anyone +else about him, and to lie there and think--a day and night and +another day again! He thought of the mountains-and especially of +a certain spot which he used to frequent, whence he would look +down upon the distant valleys and fields, and see the waterfall, +far off, like a little silver thread, and the old ruined castle +in the distance. Oh! how he longed to be there now--alone with +his thoughts--to think of one thing all his life--one thing! A +thousand years would not be too much time! And let everyone here +forget him--forget him utterly! How much better it would have +been if they had never known him--if all this could but prove to +be a dream. Perhaps it was a dream! + +Now and then he looked at Aglaya for five minutes at a time, +without taking his eyes off her face; but his expression was very +strange; he would gaze at her as though she were an object a +couple of miles distant, or as though he were looking at her +portrait and not at herself at all. + +"Why do you look at me like that, prince?" she asked suddenly, +breaking off her merry conversation and laughter with those about +her. "I'm afraid of you! You look as though you were just going +to put out your hand and touch my face to see if it's real! +Doesn't he, Evgenie Pavlovitch--doesn't he look like that?" + +The prince seemed surprised that he should have been addressed +at all; he reflected a moment, but did not seem to take in what +had been said to him; at all events, he did not answer. But +observing that she and the others had begun to laugh, he too +opened his mouth and laughed with them. + +The laughter became general, and the young officer, who seemed a +particularly lively sort of person, simply shook with mirth. + +Aglaya suddenly whispered angrily to herself the word-- + +"Idiot!" + +"My goodness--surely she is not in love with such a--surely she +isn't mad!" groaned Mrs. Epanchin, under her breath. + +"It's all a joke, mamma; it's just a joke like the 'poor knight' +--nothing more whatever, I assure you!" Alexandra whispered in her +ear. "She is chaffing him--making a fool of him, after her own +private fashion, that's all! But she carries it just a little too +far--she is a regular little actress. How she frightened us just +now--didn't she?--and all for a lark!" + +"Well, it's lucky she has happened upon an idiot, then, that's +all I can say!" whispered Lizabetha Prokofievna, who was somewhat +comforted, however, by her daughter's remark. + +The prince had heard himself referred to as "idiot," and had +shuddered at the moment; but his shudder, it so happened, was not +caused by the word applied to him. The fact was that in the +crowd, not far from where lie was sitting, a pale familiar face, +with curly black hair, and a well-known smile and expression, had +flashed across his vision for a moment, and disappeared again. +Very likely he had imagined it! There only remained to him the +impression of a strange smile, two eyes, and a bright green tie. +Whether the man had disappeared among the crowd, or whether he +had turned towards the Vauxhall, the prince could not say. + +But a moment or two afterwards he began to glance keenly about +him. That first vision might only too likely be the forerunner of +a second; it was almost certain to be so. Surely he had not +forgotten the possibility of such a meeting when he came to the +Vauxhall? True enough, he had not remarked where he was coming to +when he set out with Aglaya; he had not been in a condition to +remark anything at all. + +Had he been more careful to observe his companion, he would have +seen that for the last quarter of an hour Aglaya had also been +glancing around in apparent anxiety, as though she expected to +see someone, or something particular, among the crowd of people. +Now, at the moment when his own anxiety became so marked, her +excitement also increased visibly, and when he looked about him, +she did the same. + +The reason for their anxiety soon became apparent. From that very +side entrance to the Vauxhall, near which the prince and all the +Epanchin party were seated, there suddenly appeared quite a large +knot of persons, at least a dozen. + +Heading this little band walked three ladies, two of whom were +remarkably lovely; and there was nothing surprising in the fact +that they should have had a large troop of admirers following in +their wake. + +But there was something in the appearance of both the ladies and +their admirers which was peculiar, quite different for that of +the rest of the public assembled around the orchestra. + +Nearly everyone observed the little band advancing, and all +pretended not to see or notice them, except a few young fellows +who exchanged glances and smiled, saying something to one another +in whispers. + +It was impossible to avoid noticing them, however, in reality, +for they made their presence only too conspicuous by laughing and +talking loudly. It was to be supposed that some of them were more +than half drunk, although they were well enough dressed, some +even particularly well. There were one or two, however, who were +very strange-looking creatures, with flushed faces and +extraordinary clothes; some were military men; not all were quite +young; one or two were middle-aged gentlemen of decidedly +disagreeable appearance, men who are avoided in society like the +plague, decked out in large gold studs and rings, and +magnificently "got up," generally. + +Among our suburban resorts there are some which enjoy a specially +high reputation for respectability and fashion; but the most +careful individual is not absolutely exempt from the danger of a +tile falling suddenly upon his head from his neighbour's roof. + +Such a tile was about to descend upon the elegant and decorous +public now assembled to hear the music. + +In order to pass from the Vauxhall to the band-stand, the visitor +has to descend two or three steps. Just at these steps the group +paused, as though it feared to proceed further; but very quickly +one of the three ladies, who formed its apex, stepped forward +into the charmed circle, followed by two members of her suite. + +One of these was a middle-aged man of very respectable +appearance, but with the stamp of parvenu upon him, a man whom +nobody knew, and who evidently knew nobody. The other follower +was younger and far less respectable-looking. + +No one else followed the eccentric lady; but as she descended the +steps she did not even look behind her, as though it were +absolutely the same to her whether anyone were following or not. +She laughed and talked loudly, however, just as before. She was +dressed with great taste, but with rather more magnificence than +was needed for the occasion, perhaps. + +She walked past the orchestra, to where an open carriage was +waiting, near the road. + +The prince had not seen HER for more than three months. All these +days since his arrival from Petersburg he had intended to pay her +a visit, but some mysterious presentiment had restrained him. He +could not picture to himself what impression this meeting with +her would make upon him, though he had often tried to imagine it, +with fear and trembling. One fact was quite certain, and that was +that the meeting would be painful. + +Several times during the last six months he had recalled the +effect which the first sight of this face had had upon him, when +he only saw its portrait. He recollected well that even the +portrait face had left but too painful an impression. + +That month in the provinces, when he had seen this woman nearly +every day, had affected him so deeply that he could not now look +back upon it calmly. In the very look of this woman there was +something which tortured him. In conversation with Rogojin he had +attributed this sensation to pity--immeasurable pity, and this +was the truth. The sight of the portrait face alone had filled +his heart full of the agony of real sympathy; and this feeling of +sympathy, nay, of actual SUFFERING, for her, had never left his +heart since that hour, and was still in full force. Oh yes, and +more powerful than ever! + +But the prince was not satisfied with what he had said to +Rogojin. Only at this moment, when she suddenly made her +appearance before him, did he realize to the full the exact +emotion which she called up in him, and which he had not +described correctly to Rogojin. + +And, indeed, there were no words in which he could have expressed +his horror, yes, HORROR, for he was now fully convinced from his +own private knowledge of her, that the woman was mad. + +If, loving a woman above everything in the world, or at least +having a foretaste of the possibility of such love for her, one +were suddenly to behold her on a chain, behind bars and under the +lash of a keeper, one would feel something like what the poor +prince now felt. + +"What's the matter?" asked Aglaya, in a whisper, giving his +sleeve a little tug. + +He turned his head towards her and glanced at her black and (for +some reason) flashing eyes, tried to smile, and then, apparently +forgetting her in an instant, turned to the right once more, and +continued to watch the startling apparition before him. + +Nastasia Philipovna was at this moment passing the young ladies' +chairs. + +Evgenie Pavlovitch continued some apparently extremely funny and +interesting anecdote to Alexandra, speaking quickly and with much +animation. The prince remembered that at this moment Aglaya +remarked in a half-whisper: + +"WHAT a--" + +She did not finish her indefinite sentence; she restrained +herself in a moment; but it was enough. + +Nastasia Philipovna, who up to now had been walking along as +though she had not noticed the Epanchin party, suddenly turned +her head in their direction, as though she had just observed +Evgenie Pavlovitch sitting there for the first time. + +"Why, I declare, here he is!" she cried, stopping suddenly. "The +man one can't find with all one's messengers sent about the +place, sitting just under one's nose, exactly where one never +thought of looking! I thought you were sure to be at your uncle's +by this time." + +Evgenie Pavlovitch flushed up and looked angrily at Nastasia +Philipovna, then turned his back on her. + +"What I don't you know about it yet? He doesn't know--imagine +that! Why, he's shot himself. Your uncle shot himself this very +morning. I was told at two this afternoon. Half the town must +know it by now. They say there are three hundred and fifty +thousand roubles, government money, missing; some say five +hundred thousand. And I was under the impression that he would +leave you a fortune! He's whistled it all away. A most depraved +old gentleman, really! Well, ta, ta!--bonne chance! Surely you +intend to be off there, don't you? Ha, ha! You've retired from +the army in good time, I see! Plain clothes! Well done, sly +rogue! Nonsense! I see--you knew it all before--I dare say you +knew all about it yesterday-" + +Although the impudence of this attack, this public proclamation +of intimacy, as it were, was doubtless premeditated, and had its +special object, yet Evgenie Pavlovitch at first seemed to intend +to make no show of observing either his tormentor or her words. +But Nastasia's communication struck him with the force of a +thunderclap. On hearing of his uncle's death he suddenly grew as +white as a sheet, and turned towards his informant. + +At this moment, Lizabetha Prokofievna rose swiftly from her seat, +beckoned her companions, and left the place almost at a run. + +Only the prince stopped behind for a moment, as though in +indecision; and Evgenie Pavlovitch lingered too, for he had not +collected his scattered wits. But the Epanchins had not had time +to get more than twenty paces away when a scandalous episode +occurred. The young officer, Evgenie Pavlovitch's friend who had +been conversing with Aglaya, said aloud in a great state of +indignation: + +"She ought to be whipped--that's the only way to deal with +creatures like that--she ought to be whipped!" + +This gentleman was a confidant of Evgenie's, and had doubtless +heard of the carriage episode. + +Nastasia turned to him. Her eyes flashed; she rushed up to a +young man standing near, whom she did not know in the least, but +who happened to have in his hand a thin cane. Seizing this from +him, she brought it with all her force across the face of her +insulter. + +All this occurred, of course, in one instant of time. + +The young officer, forgetting himself, sprang towards her. +Nastasia's followers were not by her at the moment (the elderly +gentleman having disappeared altogether, and the younger man +simply standing aside and roaring with laughter). + +In another moment, of course, the police would have been on the +spot, and it would have gone hard with Nastasia Philipovna had +not unexpected aid appeared. + +Muishkin, who was but a couple of steps away, had time to spring +forward and seize the officer's arms from behind. + +The officer, tearing himself from the prince's grasp, pushed him +so violently backwards that he staggered a few steps and then +subsided into a chair. + +But there were other defenders for Nastasia on the spot by this +time. The gentleman known as the "boxer" now confronted the +enraged officer. + +"Keller is my name, sir; ex-lieutenant," he said, very loud. "If +you will accept me as champion of the fair sex, I am at your +disposal. English boxing has no secrets from me. I sympathize +with you for the insult you have received, but I can't permit you +to raise your hand against a woman in public. If you prefer to +meet me--as would be more fitting to your rank--in some other +manner, of course you understand me, captain." + +But the young officer had recovered himself, and was no longer +listening. At this moment Rogojin appeared, elbowing through the +crowd; he took Nastasia's hand, drew it through his arm, and +quickly led her away. He appeared to be terribly excited; he was +trembling all over, and was as pale as a corpse. +As he carried Nastasia off, he turned and grinned horribly in the +officer's face, and with low malice observed: + +"Tfu! look what the fellow got! Look at the blood on his cheek! +Ha, ha!" + +Recollecting himself, however, and seeing at a glance the sort of +people he had to deal with, the officer turned his back on both +his opponents, and courteously, but concealing his face with his +handkerchief, approached the prince, who was now rising from the +chair into which he had fallen. + +"Prince Muishkin, I believe? The gentleman to whom I had the +honour of being introduced?" + +"She is mad, insane--I assure you, she is mad," replied the +prince in trembling tones, holding out both his hands +mechanically towards the officer. + +"I cannot boast of any such knowledge, of course, but I wished to +know your name." + +He bowed and retired without waiting for an answer. + +Five seconds after the disappearance of the last actor in this +scene, the police arrived. The whole episode had not lasted more +than a couple of minutes. Some of the spectators had risen from +their places, and departed altogether; some merely exchanged +their seats for others a little further off; some were delighted +with the occurrence, and talked and laughed over it for a long +time. + +In a word, the incident closed as such incidents do, and the band +began to play again. The prince walked away after the Epanchin +party. Had he thought of looking round to the left after he had +been pushed so unceremoniously into the chair, he would have +observed Aglaya standing some twenty yards away. She had stayed +to watch the scandalous scene in spite of her mother's and +sisters' anxious cries to her to come away. + +Prince S. ran up to her and persuaded her, at last, to come home +with them. + +Lizabetha Prokofievna saw that she returned in such a state of +agitation that it was doubtful whether she had even heard their +calls. But only a couple of minutes later, when they had reached +the park, Aglaya suddenly remarked, in her usual calm, +indifferent voice: + +"I wanted to see how the farce would end." + +III. + +THE occurrence at the Vauxhall had filled both mother and +daughters with something like horror. In their excitement +Lizabetha Prokofievna and the girls were nearly running all the +way home. + +In her opinion there was so much disclosed and laid bare by the +episode, that, in spite of the chaotic condition of her mind, she +was able to feel more or less decided on certain points which, up +to now, had been in a cloudy condition. + +However, one and all of the party realized that something +important had happened, and that, perhaps fortunately enough, +something which had hitherto been enveloped in the obscurity of +guess-work had now begun to come forth a little from the mists. +In spite of Prince S.'s assurances and explanations, Evgenie +Pavlovitch's real character and position were at last coming to +light. He was publicly convicted of intimacy with "that +creature." So thought Lizabetha Prokofievna and her two elder +daughters. + +But the real upshot of the business was that the number of +riddles to be solved was augmented. The two girls, though rather +irritated at their mother's exaggerated alarm and haste to depart +from the scene, had been unwilling to worry her at first with +questions. + +Besides, they could not help thinking that their sister Aglaya +probably knew more about the whole matter than both they and +their mother put together. + +Prince S. looked as black as night, and was silent and moody. +Mrs. Epanchin did not say a word to him all the way home, and he +did not seem to observe the fact. Adelaida tried to pump him a +little by asking, "who was the uncle they were talking about, and +what was it that had happened in Petersburg?" But he had merely +muttered something disconnected about "making inquiries," and +that "of course it was all nonsense." "Oh, of course," replied +Adelaida, and asked no more questions. Aglaya, too, was very +quiet; and the only remark she made on the way home was that they +were "walking much too fast to be pleasant." + +Once she turned and observed the prince hurrying after them. +Noticing his anxiety to catch them up, she smiled ironically, and +then looked back no more. At length, just as they neared the +house, General Epanchin came out and met them; he had only just +arrived from town. + +His first word was to inquire after Evgenie Pavlovitch. But +Lizabetha stalked past him, and neither looked at him nor +answered his question. + +He immediately judged from the faces of his daughters and Prince +S. that there was a thunderstorm brewing, and he himself already +bore evidences of unusual perturbation of mind. + +He immediately button-holed Prince S., and standing at the front +door, engaged in a whispered conversation with him. By the +troubled aspect of both of them, when they entered the house, and +approached Mrs. Epanchin, it was evident that they had been +discussing very disturbing news. + +Little by little the family gathered together upstairs in +Lizabetha Prokofievna's apartments, and Prince Muishkin found +himself alone on the verandah when he arrived. He settled himself +in a corner and sat waiting, though he knew not what he expected. +It never struck him that he had better go away, with all this +disturbance in the house. He seemed to have forgotten all the +world, and to be ready to sit on where he was for years on end. +From upstairs he caught sounds of excited conversation every now +and then. + +He could not say how long he sat there. It grew late and became +quite dark. + +Suddenly Aglaya entered the verandah. She seemed to be quite +calm, though a little pale. + +Observing the prince, whom she evidently did not expect to see +there, alone in the corner, she smiled, and approached him: + +"What are you doing there?" she asked. + +The prince muttered something, blushed, and jumped up; but Aglaya +immediately sat down beside him; so he reseated himself. + +She looked suddenly, but attentively into his face, then at the +window, as though thinking of something else, and then again at +him. + +"Perhaps she wants to laugh at me," thought the prince, "but no; +for if she did she certainly would do so." + +"Would you like some tea? I'll order some," she said, after a +minute or two of silence. + +"N-no thanks, I don't know--" + +"Don't know! How can you not know? By-the-by, look here--if +someone were to challenge you to a duel, what should you do? I +wished to ask you this--some time ago--" + +"Why? Nobody would ever challenge me to a duel!" + +"But if they were to, would you be dreadfully frightened?" + +"I dare say I should be--much alarmed!" + +"Seriously? Then are you a coward?" + +"N-no!--I don't think so. A coward is a man who is afraid and +runs away; the man who is frightened but does not run away, is +not quite a coward," said the prince with a smile, after a +moment's thought. + +"And you wouldn't run away?" + +"No--I don't think I should run away," replied the prince, +laughing outright at last at Aglaya's questions. + +"Though I am a woman, I should certainly not run away for +anything," said Aglaya, in a slightly pained voice. "However, I +see you are laughing at me and twisting your face up as usual in +order to make yourself look more interesting. Now tell me, they +generally shoot at twenty paces, don't they? At ten, sometimes? I +suppose if at ten they must be either wounded or killed, mustn't +they?" + +"I don't think they often kill each other at duels." + +"They killed Pushkin that way." + +"That may have been an accident." + +"Not a bit of it; it was a duel to the death, and he was killed." + +"The bullet struck so low down that probably his antagonist would +never have aimed at that part of him--people never do; he would +have aimed at his chest or head; so that probably the bullet hit +him accidentally. I have been told this by competent +authorities." + +"Well, a soldier once told me that they were always ordered to +aim at the middle of the body. So you see they don't aim at the +chest or head; they aim lower on purpose. I asked some officer +about this afterwards, and he said it was perfectly true." + +"That is probably when they fire from a long distance." + +"Can you shoot at all?" + +"No, I have never shot in my life." + +"Can't you even load a pistol?" + +"No! That is, I understand how it's done, of course, but I have +never done it." + +"Then, you don't know how, for it is a matter that needs +practice. Now listen and learn; in the first place buy good +powder, not damp (they say it mustn't be at all damp, but very +dry), some fine kind it is--you must ask for PISTOL powder, not +the stuff they load cannons with. They say one makes the bullets +oneself, somehow or other. Have you got a pistol?" + +"No--and I don't want one," said the prince, laughing. + +"Oh, what NONSENSE! You must buy one. French or English are the +best, they say. Then take a little powder, about a thimbleful, or +perhaps two, and pour it into the barrel. Better put plenty. Then +push in a bit of felt (it MUST be felt, for some reason or +other); you can easily get a bit off some old mattress, or off a +door; it's used to keep the cold out. Well, when you have pushed +the felt down, put the bullet in; do you hear now? The bullet +last and the powder first, not the other way, or the pistol won't +shoot. What are you laughing at? I wish you to buy a pistol and +practise every day, and you must learn to hit a mark for CERTAIN; +will you?" + +The prince only laughed. Aglaya stamped her foot with annoyance. + +Her serious air, however, during this conversation had surprised +him considerably. He had a feeling that he ought to be asking her +something, that there was something he wanted to find out far +more important than how to load a pistol; but his thoughts had +all scattered, and he was only aware that she was sitting by, +him, and talking to him, and that he was looking at her; as to +what she happened to be saying to him, that did not matter in the +least. + +The general now appeared on the verandah, coming from upstairs. +He was on his way out, with an expression of determination on his +face, and of preoccupation and worry also. + +"Ah! Lef Nicolaievitch, it's you, is it? Where are you off to +now?" he asked, oblivious of the fact that the prince had not +showed the least sign of moving. "Come along with me; I want to +say a word or two to you." + +"Au revoir, then!" said Aglaya, holding out her hand to the +prince. + +It was quite dark now, and Muishkin could not see her face +clearly, but a minute or two later, when he and the general had +left the villa, he suddenly flushed up, and squeezed his right +hand tightly. + +It appeared that he and the general were going in the same +direction. In spite of the lateness of the hour, the general was +hurrying away to talk to someone upon some important subject. +Meanwhile he talked incessantly but disconnectedly to the prince, +and continually brought in the name of Lizabetha Prokofievna. + +If the prince had been in a condition to pay more attention to +what the general was saying, he would have discovered that the +latter was desirous of drawing some information out of him, or +indeed of asking him some question outright; but that he could +not make up his mind to come to the point. + +Muishkin was so absent, that from the very first he could not +attend to a word the other was saying; and when the general +suddenly stopped before him with some excited question, he was +obliged to confess, ignominiously, that he did not know in the +least what he had been talking about. + +The general shrugged his shoulders. + +"How strange everyone, yourself included, has become of late," +said he. "I was telling you that I cannot in the least understand +Lizabetha Prokofievna's ideas and agitations. She is in hysterics +up there, and moans and says that we have been 'shamed and +disgraced.' How? Why? When? By whom? I confess that I am very +much to blame myself; I do not conceal the fact; but the conduct, +the outrageous behaviour of this woman, must really be kept +within limits, by the police if necessary, and I am just on my +way now to talk the question over and make some arrangements. It +can all be managed quietly and gently, even kindly, and without +the slightest fuss or scandal. I foresee that the future is +pregnant with events, and that there is much that needs +explanation. There is intrigue in the wind; but if on one side +nothing is known, on the other side nothing will be explained. If +I have heard nothing about it, nor have YOU, nor HE, nor SHE-- +who HAS heard about it, I should like to know? How CAN all this +be explained except by the fact that half of it is mirage or +moonshine, or some hallucination of that sort?" + +"SHE is insane," muttered the prince, suddenly recollecting all +that had passed, with a spasm of pain at his heart. + +"I too had that idea, and I slept in peace. But now I see that +their opinion is more correct. I do not believe in the theory of +madness! The woman has no common sense; but she is not only not +insane, she is artful to a degree. Her outburst of this evening +about Evgenie's uncle proves that conclusively. It was VILLAINOUS, +simply jesuitical, and it was all for some special purpose." + +"What about Evgenie's uncle?" + +"My goodness, Lef Nicolaievitch, why, you can't have heard a +single word I said! Look at me, I'm still trembling all over with +the dreadful shock! It is that that kept me in town so late. +Evgenie Pavlovitch's uncle--" + +Well?" cried the prince. + +"Shot himself this morning, at seven o'clock. A respected, +eminent old man of seventy; and exactly point for point as she +described it; a sum of money, a considerable sum of government +money, missing!" + +"Why, how could she--" + +"What, know of it? Ha, ha, ha! Why, there was a whole crowd round +her the moment she appeared on the scenes here. You know what +sort of people surround her nowadays, and solicit the honour of +her 'acquaintance.' Of course she might easily have heard the +news from someone coming from town. All Petersburg, if not all +Pavlofsk, knows it by now. Look at the slyness of her observation +about Evgenie's uniform! I mean, her remark that he had retired +just in time! There's a venomous hint for you, if you like! No, +no! there's no insanity there! Of course I refuse to believe that +Evgenie Pavlovitch could have known beforehand of the +catastrophe; that is, that at such and such a day at seven +o'clock, and all that; but he might well have had a presentiment +of the truth. And I--all of us--Prince S. and everybody, believed +that he was to inherit a large fortune from this uncle. It's +dreadful, horrible! Mind, I don't suspect Evgenie of anything, be +quite clear on that point; but the thing is a little suspicious, +nevertheless. Prince S. can't get over it. Altogether it is a +very extraordinary combination of circumstances." + +"What suspicion attaches to Evgenie Pavlovitch?" + +"Oh, none at all! He has behaved very well indeed. I didn't mean +to drop any sort of hint. His own fortune is intact, I believe. +Lizabetha Prokofievna, of course, refuses to listen to anything. +That's the worst of it all, these family catastrophes or +quarrels, or whatever you like to call them. You know, prince, +you are a friend of the family, so I don't mind telling you; it +now appears that Evgenie Pavlovitch proposed to Aglaya a month +ago, and was refused." + +"Impossible!" cried the prince. + +"Why? Do you know anything about it? Look here," continued the +general, more agitated than ever, and trembling with excitement, +"maybe I have been letting the cat out of the bag too freely with +you, if so, it is because you are--that sort of man, you know! +Perhaps you have some special information?" + +"I know nothing about Evgenie Pavlovitch!" said the prince. + +"Nor do I! They always try to bury me underground when there's +anything going on; they don't seem to reflect that it is +unpleasant to a man to be treated so! I won't stand it! We have +just had a terrible scene!--mind, I speak to you as I would to my +own son! Aglaya laughs at her mother. Her sisters guessed about +Evgenie having proposed and been rejected, and told Lizabetha. + +"I tell you, my dear fellow, Aglaya is such an extraordinary, +such a self-willed, fantastical little creature, you wouldn't +believe it! Every high quality, every brilliant trait of heart +and mind, are to be found in her, and, with it all, so much +caprice and mockery, such wild fancies--indeed, a little devil! +She has just been laughing at her mother to her very face, and at +her sisters, and at Prince S., and everybody--and of course she +always laughs at me! You know I love the child--I love her even +when she laughs at me, and I believe the wild little creature has +a special fondness for me for that very reason. She is fonder of +me than any of the others. I dare swear she has had a good laugh +at YOU before now! You were having a quiet talk just now, I +observed, after all the thunder and lightning upstairs. She was +sitting with you just as though there had been no row at all." + +The prince blushed painfully in the darkness, and closed his +right hand tightly, but he said nothing. + +"My dear good Prince Lef Nicolaievitch," began the general again, +suddenly, "both I and Lizabetha Prokofievna--(who has begun to +respect you once more, and me through you, goodness knows why!)-- +we both love you very sincerely, and esteem you, in spite of any +appearances to the contrary. But you'll admit what a riddle it +must have been for us when that calm, cold, little spitfire, +Aglaya--(for she stood up to her mother and answered her +questions with inexpressible contempt, and mine still more so, +because, like a fool, I thought it my duty to assert myself as +head of the family)--when Aglaya stood up of a sudden and +informed us that 'that madwoman' (strangely enough, she used +exactly the same expression as you did) 'has taken it into her +head to marry me to Prince Lef Nicolaievitch, and therefore is +doing her best to choke Evgenie Pavlovitch off, and rid the house +of him.' That's what she said. She would not give the slightest +explanation; she burst out laughing, banged the door, and went +away. We all stood there with our mouths open. Well, I was told +afterwards of your little passage with Aglaya this afternoon, +and-and--dear prince--you are a good, sensible fellow, don't be +angry if I speak out--she is laughing at you, my boy! She is +enjoying herself like a child, at your expense, and therefore, +since she is a child, don't be angry with her, and don't think +anything of it. I assure you, she is simply making a fool of you, +just as she does with one and all of us out of pure lack of +something better to do. Well--good-bye! You know our feelings, +don't you--our sincere feelings for yourself? They are +unalterable, you know, dear boy, under all circumstances, but-- +Well, here we part; I must go down to the right. Rarely have I +sat so uncomfortably in my saddle, as they say, as I now sit. And +people talk of the charms of a country holiday!" + +Left to himself at the cross-roads, the prince glanced around +him, quickly crossed the road towards the lighted window of a +neighbouring house, and unfolded a tiny scrap of paper which he +had held clasped in his right hand during the whole of his +conversation with the general. + +He read the note in the uncertain rays that fell from the window. +It was as follows: + +"Tomorrow morning, I shall be at the green bench in the park at +seven, and shall wait there for you. I have made up my mind to +speak to you about a most important matter which closely concerns +yourself. + +"P.S.--I trust that you will not show this note to anyone. Though +I am ashamed of giving you such instructions, I feel that I must +do so, considering what you are. I therefore write the words, and +blush for your simple character. + +"P.P.S.--It is the same green bench that I showed you before. +There! aren't you ashamed of yourself? I felt that it was +necessary to repeat even that information." + +The note was written and folded anyhow, evidently in a great +hurry, and probably just before Aglaya had come down to the +verandah. + +In inexpressible agitation, amounting almost to fear, the prince +slipped quickly away from the window, away from the light, like a +frightened thief, but as he did so he collided violently with +some gentleman who seemed to spring from the earth at his feet. + +"I was watching for you, prince," said the individual. + +"Is that you, Keller?" said the prince, in surprise. + +"Yes, I've been looking for you. I waited for you at the +Epanchins' house, but of course I could not come in. I dogged you +from behind as you walked along with the general. Well, prince, +here is Keller, absolutely at your service--command him!--ready +to sacrifice himself--even to die in case of need." + +"But-why?" + +"Oh, why?--Of course you'll be challenged! That was young +Lieutenant Moloftsoff. I know him, or rather of him; he won't +pass an insult. He will take no notice of Rogojin and myself, +and, therefore, you are the only one left to account for. You'll +have to pay the piper, prince. He has been asking about you, and +undoubtedly his friend will call on you tomorrow--perhaps he is +at your house already. If you would do me the honour to have me +for a second, prince, I should be happy. That's why I have been +looking for you now." + +"Duel! You've come to talk about a duel, too!" The prince burst +out laughing, to the great astonishment of Keller. He laughed +unrestrainedly, and Keller, who had been on pins and needles, and +in a fever of excitement to offer himself as "second," was very +near being offended. + +"You caught him by the arms, you know, prince. No man of proper +pride can stand that sort of treatment in public." + +"Yes, and he gave me a fearful dig in the chest," cried the +prince, still laughing. "What are we to fight about? I shall beg +his pardon, that's all. But if we must fight--we'll fight! Let +him have a shot at me, by all means; I should rather like it. Ha, +ha, ha! I know how to load a pistol now; do you know how to load +a pistol, Keller? First, you have to buy the powder, you know; it +mustn't be wet, and it mustn't be that coarse stuff that they +load cannons with--it must be pistol powder. Then you pour the +powder in, and get hold of a bit of felt from some door, and then +shove the bullet in. But don't shove the bullet in before the +powder, because the thing wouldn't go off--do you hear, Keller, +the thing wouldn't go off! Ha, ha, ha! Isn't that a grand reason, +Keller, my friend, eh? Do you know, my dear fellow, I really must +kiss you, and embrace you, this very moment. Ha, ha! How was it +you so suddenly popped up in front of me as you did? Come to my +house as soon as you can, and we'll have some champagne. We'll +all get drunk! Do you know I have a dozen of champagne in +Lebedeff's cellar? Lebedeff sold them to me the day after I +arrived. I took the lot. We'll invite everybody! Are you going to +do any sleeping tonight?" + +"As much as usual, prince--why?" + +"Pleasant dreams then--ha, ha!" + +The prince crossed the road, and disappeared into the park, +leaving the astonished Keller in a state of ludicrous wonder. He +had never before seen the prince in such a strange condition of +mind, and could not have imagined the possibility of it. + +"Fever, probably," he said to himself, "for the man is all +nerves, and this business has been a little too much for him. He +is not AFRAID, that's clear; that sort never funks! H'm! +champagne! That was an interesting item of news, at all events!-- +Twelve bottles! Dear me, that's a very respectable little stock +indeed! I bet anything Lebedeff lent somebody money on deposit of +this dozen of champagne. Hum! he's a nice fellow, is this prince! +I like this sort of man. Well, I needn't be wasting time here, +and if it's a case of champagne, why--there's no time like the +present!" + +That the prince was almost in a fever was no more than the truth. +He wandered about the park for a long while, and at last came to +himself in a lonely avenue. He was vaguely conscious that he had +already paced this particular walk--from that large, dark tree to +the bench at the other end--about a hundred yards altogether--at +least thirty times backwards and forwards. + +As to recollecting what he had been thinking of all that time, he +could not. He caught himself, however, indulging in one thought +which made him roar with laughter, though there was nothing +really to laugh at in it; but he felt that he must laugh, and go +on laughing. + +It struck him that the idea of the duel might not have occurred +to Keller alone, but that his lesson in the art of pistol-loading +might have been not altogether accidental! "Pooh! nonsense!" he +said to himself, struck by another thought, of a sudden. "Why, +she was immensely surprised to find me there on the verandah, and +laughed and talked about TEA! And yet she had this little note in +her hand, therefore she must have known that I was sitting there. +So why was she surprised? Ha, ha, ha!" + +He pulled the note out and kissed it; then paused and reflected. +"How strange it all is! how strange!" he muttered, melancholy +enough now. In moments of great joy, he invariably felt a +sensation of melancholy come over him--he could not tell why. + +He looked intently around him, and wondered why he had come here; +he was very tired, so he approached the bench and sat down on it. +Around him was profound silence; the music in the Vauxhall was +over. The park seemed quite empty, though it was not, in reality, +later than half-past eleven. It was a quiet, warm, clear night--a +real Petersburg night of early June; but in the dense avenue, +where he was sitting, it was almost pitch dark. + +If anyone had come up at this moment and told him that he was in +love, passionately in love, he would have rejected the idea with +astonishment, and, perhaps, with irritation. And if anyone had +added that Aglaya's note was a love-letter, and that it contained +an appointment to a lover's rendezvous, he would have blushed +with shame for the speaker, and, probably, have challenged him to +a duel. + +All this would have been perfectly sincere on his part. He had +never for a moment entertained the idea of the possibility of +this girl loving him, or even of such a thing as himself falling +in love with her. The possibility of being loved himself, "a man +like me," as he put it, he ranked among ridiculous suppositions. +It appeared to him that it was simply a joke on Aglaya's part, if +there really were anything in it at all; but that seemed to him +quite natural. His preoccupation was caused by something +different. + +As to the few words which the general had let slip about Aglaya +laughing at everybody, and at himself most of all--he entirely +believed them. He did not feel the slightest sensation of +offence; on the contrary, he was quite certain that it was as it +should be. + +His whole thoughts were now as to next morning early; he would +see her; he would sit by her on that little green bench, and +listen to how pistols were loaded, and look at her. He wanted +nothing more. + +The question as to what she might have to say of special interest +to himself occurred to him once or twice. He did not doubt, for a +moment, that she really had some such subject of conversation in +store, but so very little interested in the matter was he that it +did not strike him to wonder what it could be. The crunch of +gravel on the path suddenly caused him to raise his head. + +A man, whose face it was difficult to see in the gloom, +approached the bench, and sat down beside him. The prince peered +into his face, and recognized the livid features of Rogojin. + +"I knew you'd be wandering about somewhere here. I didn't have to +look for you very long," muttered the latter between his teeth. + +It was the first time they had met since the encounter on the +staircase at the hotel. + +Painfully surprised as he was at this sudden apparition of +Rogojin, the prince, for some little while, was unable to collect +his thoughts. Rogojin, evidently, saw and understood the +impression he had made; and though he seemed more or less +confused at first, yet he began talking with what looked like +assumed ease and freedom. However, the prince soon changed his +mind on this score, and thought that there was not only no +affectation of indifference, but that Rogojin was not even +particularly agitated. If there were a little apparent +awkwardness, it was only in his words and gestures. The man could +not change his heart. + +"How did you--find me here?" asked the prince for the sake of +saying something. + +"Keller told me (I found him at your place) that you were in the +park. 'Of course he is!' I thought." + +"Why so?" asked the prince uneasily. + +Rogojin smiled, but did not explain. + +"I received your letter, Lef Nicolaievitch--what's the good of +all that?--It's no use, you know. I've come to you from HER,--she +bade me tell you that she must see you, she has something to say +to you. She told me to find you today." + +"I'll come tomorrow. Now I'm going home--are you coming to my +house?" + +"Why should I? I've given you the message.--Goodbye!" + +"Won't you come?" asked the prince in a gentle voice. + +"What an extraordinary man you are! I wonder at you!" Rogojin +laughed sarcastically. + +"Why do you hate me so?" asked the prince, sadly. "You know +yourself that all you suspected is quite unfounded. I felt you +were still angry with me, though. Do you know why? Because you +tried to kill me--that's why you can't shake off your wrath +against me. I tell you that I only remember the Parfen Rogojin +with whom I exchanged crosses, and vowed brotherhood. I wrote you +this in yesterday's letter, in order that you might forget all +that madness on your part, and that you might not feel called to +talk about it when we met. Why do you avoid me? Why do you hold +your hand back from me? I tell you again, I consider all that has +passed a delirium, an insane dream. I can understand all you did, +and all you felt that day, as if it were myself. What you were +then imagining was not the case, and could never be the case. +Why, then, should there be anger between us?" + +"You don't know what anger is!" laughed Rogojin, in reply to the +prince's heated words. + +He had moved a pace or two away, and was hiding his hands behind +him. + +"No, it is impossible for me to come to your house again," he +added slowly. + +"Why? Do you hate me so much as all that?" + +"I don't love you, Lef Nicolaievitch, and, therefore, what would +be the use of my coming to see you? You are just like a child-- +you want a plaything, and it must be taken out and given you--and +then you don't know how to work it. You are simply repeating all +you said in your letter, and what's the use? Of course I believe +every word you say, and I know perfectly well that you neither +did or ever can deceive me in any way, and yet, I don't love you. +You write that you've forgotten everything, and only remember +your brother Parfen, with whom you exchanged crosses, and that +you don't remember anything about the Rogojin who aimed a knife +at your throat. What do you know about my feelings, eh?" (Rogojin +laughed disagreeably.) "Here you are holding out your brotherly +forgiveness to me for a thing that I have perhaps never repented +of in the slightest degree. I did not think of it again all that +evening; all my thoughts were centred on something else--" + +"Not think of it again? Of course you didn't!" cried the prince. +"And I dare swear that you came straight away down here to +Pavlofsk to listen to the music and dog her about in the crowd, +and stare at her, just as you did today. There's nothing +surprising in that! If you hadn't been in that condition of mind +that you could think of nothing but one subject, you would, +probably, never have raised your knife against me. I had a +presentiment of what you would do, that day, ever since I saw you +first in the morning. Do you know yourself what you looked like? +I knew you would try to murder me even at the very moment when we +exchanged crosses. What did you take me to your mother for? Did +you think to stay your hand by doing so? Perhaps you did not put +your thoughts into words, but you and I were thinking the same +thing, or feeling the same thing looming over us, at the same +moment. What should you think of me now if you had not raised +your knife to me--the knife which God averted from my throat? I +would have been guilty of suspecting you all the same--and you +would have intended the murder all the same; therefore we should +have been mutually guilty in any case. Come, don't frown; you +needn't laugh at me, either. You say you haven't 'repented.' +Repented! You probably couldn't, if you were to try; you dislike +me too much for that. Why, if I were an angel of light, and as +innocent before you as a babe, you would still loathe me if you +believed that SHE loved me, instead of loving yourself. That's +jealousy--that is the real jealousy. + +"But do you know what I have been thinking out during this last +week, Parfen? I'll tell you. What if she loves you now better +than anyone? And what if she torments you BECAUSE she loves you, +and in proportion to her love for you, so she torments you the +more? She won't tell you this, of course; you must have eyes to +see. Why do you suppose she consents to marry you? She must have +a reason, and that reason she will tell you some day. Some women +desire the kind of love you give her, and she is probably one of +these. Your love and your wild nature impress her. Do you know +that a woman is capable of driving a man crazy almost, with her +cruelties and mockeries, and feels not one single pang of regret, +because she looks at him and says to herself, 'There! I'll +torment this man nearly into his grave, and then, oh! how I'll +compensate him for it all with my love!'" + +Rogojin listened to the end, and then burst out laughing: + +"Why, prince, I declare you must have had a taste of this sort of +thing yourself--haven't you? I have heard tell of something of +the kind, you know; is it true?" + +"What? What can you have heard?" said the prince, stammering. + +Rogojin continued to laugh loudly. He had listened to the +prince's speech with curiosity and some satisfaction. The +speaker's impulsive warmth had surprised and even comforted him. + +"Why, I've not only heard of it; I see it for myself," he said. +"When have you ever spoken like that before? It wasn't like +yourself, prince. Why, if I hadn't heard this report about you, I +should never have come all this way into the park--at midnight, +too!" + +"I don't understand you in the least, Parfen." + +"Oh, SHE told me all about it long ago, and tonight I saw for +myself. I saw you at the music, you know, and whom you were +sitting with. She swore to me yesterday, and again today, that +you are madly in love with Aglaya Ivanovna. But that's all the +same to me, prince, and it's not my affair at all; for if you +have ceased to love HER, SHE has not ceased to love YOU. You +know, of course, that she wants to marry you to that girl? She's +sworn to it! Ha, ha! She says to me, 'Until then I won't marry +you. When they go to church, we'll go too-and not before.' What +on earth does she mean by it? I don't know, and I never did. +Either she loves you without limits or--yet, if she loves you, +why does she wish to marry you to another girl? She says, 'I want +to see him happy,' which is to say--she loves you." + +"I wrote, and I say to you once more, that she is not in her +right mind," said the prince, who had listened with anguish to +what Rogojin said. + +"Goodness knows--you may be wrong there! At all events, she named +the day this evening, as we left the gardens. 'In three weeks,' +says she, 'and perhaps sooner, we shall be married.' She swore to +it, took off her cross and kissed it. So it all depends upon you +now, prince, You see! Ha, ha!" + +"That's all madness. What you say about me, Parfen, never can and +never will be. Tomorrow, I shall come and see you--" + +"How can she be mad," Rogojin interrupted, "when she is sane +enough for other people and only mad for you? How can she write +letters to HER, if she's mad? If she were insane they would +observe it in her letters." + +"What letters?" said the prince, alarmed. + +"She writes to HER--and the girl reads the letters. Haven't you +heard?--You are sure to hear; she's sure to show you the letters +herself." + +"I won't believe this!" cried the prince. + +"Why, prince, you've only gone a few steps along this road, I +perceive. You are evidently a mere beginner. Wait a bit! Before +long, you'll have your own detectives, you'll watch day and +night, and you'll know every little thing that goes on there-- +that is, if--" + +"Drop that subject, Rogojin, and never mention it again. And +listen: as I have sat here, and talked, and listened, it has +suddenly struck me that tomorrow is my birthday. It must be +about twelve o'clock, now; come home with me--do, and we'll see +the day in! We'll have some wine, and you shall wish me--I don't +know what--but you, especially you, must wish me a good wish, and +I shall wish you full happiness in return. Otherwise, hand me my +cross back again. You didn't return it to me next day. Haven't +you got it on now?" + +"Yes, I have," said Rogojin. + +"Come along, then. I don't wish to meet my new year without you-- +my new life, I should say, for a new life is beginning for me. +Did you know, Parfen, that a new life had begun for me?" + +"I see for myself that it is so--and I shall tell HER. But you +are not quite yourself, Lef Nicolaievitch." + +IV. + +THE prince observed with great surprise, as he approached his +villa, accompanied by Rogojin, that a large number of people were +assembled on his verandah, which was brilliantly lighted up. The +company seemed merry and were noisily laughing and talking--even +quarrelling, to judge from the sounds. At all events they were +clearly enjoying themselves, and the prince observed further on +closer investigation--that all had been drinking champagne. To +judge from the lively condition of some of the party, it was to +be supposed that a considerable quantity of champagne had been +consumed already. + +All the guests were known to the prince; but the curious part of +the matter was that they had all arrived on the same evening, as +though with one accord, although he had only himself recollected +the fact that it was his birthday a few moments since. + +"You must have told somebody you were going to trot out the +champagne, and that's why they are all come!" muttered Rogojin, +as the two entered the verandah. "We know all about that! You've +only to whistle and they come up in shoals!" he continued, almost +angrily. He was doubtless thinking of his own late experiences +with his boon companions. + +All surrounded the prince with exclamations of welcome, and, on +hearing that it was his birthday, with cries of congratulation +and delight; many of them were very noisy. + +The presence of certain of those in the room surprised the prince +vastly, but the guest whose advent filled him with the greatest +wonder--almost amounting to alarm--was Evgenie Pavlovitch. The +prince could not believe his eyes when he beheld the latter, and +could not help thinking that something was wrong. + +Lebedeff ran up promptly to explain the arrival of all these +gentlemen. He was himself somewhat intoxicated, but the prince +gathered from his long-winded periods that the party had +assembled quite naturally, and accidentally. + +First of all Hippolyte had arrived, early in the evening, and +feeling decidedly better, had determined to await the prince on +the verandah. There Lebedeff had joined him, and his household +had followed--that is, his daughters and General Ivolgin. +Burdovsky had brought Hippolyte, and stayed on with him. Gania +and Ptitsin had dropped in accidentally later on; then came +Keller, and he and Colia insisted on having champagne. Evgenie +Pavlovitch had only dropped in half an hour or so ago. Lebedeff +had served the champagne readily. + +"My own though, prince, my own, mind," he said, "and there'll be +some supper later on; my daughter is getting it ready now. Come +and sit down, prince, we are all waiting for you, we want you +with us. Fancy what we have been discussing! You know the +question, 'to be or not to be,'--out of Hamlet! A contemporary +theme! Quite up-to-date! Mr. Hippolyte has been eloquent to a +degree. He won't go to bed, but he has only drunk a little +champagne, and that can't do him any harm. Come along, prince, +and settle the question. Everyone is waiting for you, sighing for +the light of your luminous intelligence..." + +The prince noticed the sweet, welcoming look on Vera Lebedeff's +face, as she made her way towards him through the crowd. He held +out his hand to her. She took it, blushing with delight, and +wished him "a happy life from that day forward." Then she ran off +to the kitchen, where. her presence was necessary to help in the +preparations for supper. Before the prince's arrival she had +spent some time on the terrace, listening eagerly to the +conversation, though the visitors, mostly under the influence of +wine, were discussing abstract subjects far beyond her +comprehension. In the next room her younger sister lay on a +wooden chest, sound asleep, with her mouth wide open; but the +boy, Lebedeff's son, had taken up his position close beside Colia +and Hippolyte, his face lit up with interest in the conversation +of his father and the rest, to which he would willingly have +listened for ten hours at a stretch. + +"I have waited for you on purpose, and am very glad to see you +arrive so happy," said Hippolyte, when the prince came forward to +press his hand, immediately after greeting Vera. + +"And how do you know that I am 'so happy'? + +"I can see it by your face! Say 'how do you do' to the others, +and come and sit down here, quick--I've been waiting for you!" he +added, accentuating the fact that he had waited. On the prince's +asking, "Will it not be injurious to you to sit out so late?" he +replied that he could not believe that he had thought himself +dying three days or so ago, for he never had felt better than +this evening. + +Burdovsky next jumped up and explained that he had come in by +accident, having escorted Hippolyte from town. He murmured that +he was glad he had "written nonsense" in his letter, and then +pressed the prince's hand warmly and sat down again. + +The prince approached Evgenie Pavlovitch last of all. The latter +immediately took his arm. + +"I have a couple of words to say to you," he began, "and those on +a very important matter; let's go aside for a minute or two." + +"Just a couple of words!" whispered another voice in the prince's +other ear, and another hand took his other arm. Muishkin turned, +and to his great surprise observed a red, flushed face and a +droll-looking figure which he recognized at once as that of +Ferdishenko. Goodness knows where he had turned up from! + +"Do you remember Ferdishenko?" he asked. + +"Where have you dropped from?" cried the prince. + +"He is sorry for his sins now, prince," cried Keller. "He did not +want to let you know he was here; he was hidden over there in the +corner,--but he repents now, he feels his guilt." + +"Why, what has he done?" + +"I met him outside and brought him in--he's a gentleman who +doesn't often allow his friends to see him, of late--but he's +sorry now." + +"Delighted, I'm sure!--I'll come back directly, gentlemen,--sit +down there with the others, please,--excuse me one moment," said +the host, getting away with difficulty in order to follow +Evgenie. + +"You are very gay here," began the latter, "and I have had quite +a pleasant half-hour while I waited for you. Now then, my dear +Lef Nicolaievitch, this is what's the matter. I've arranged it +all with Moloftsoff, and have just come in to relieve your mind +on that score. You need be under no apprehensions. He was very +sensible, as he should be, of course, for I think he was entirely +to blame himself." + +"What Moloftsoff?" + +"The young fellow whose arms you held, don't you know? He was so +wild with you that he was going to send a friend to you tomorrow +morning." + +"What nonsense!" + +"Of course it is nonsense, and in nonsense it would have ended, +doubtless; but you know these fellows, they--" + +"Excuse me, but I think you must have something else that you +wished to speak about, Evgenie Pavlovitch?" + +"Of course, I have!" said the other, laughing. "You see, my dear +fellow, tomorrow, very early in the morning, I must be off to +town about this unfortunate business(my uncle, you know!). Just +imagine, my dear sir, it is all true--word for word--and, of +course, everybody knew it excepting myself. All this has been +such a blow to me that I have not managed to call in at the +Epanchins'. Tomorrow I shall not see them either, because I +shall be in town. I may not be here for three days or more; in a +word, my affairs are a little out of gear. But though my town +business is, of course, most pressing, still I determined not to go +away until I had seen you, and had a clear understanding with you +upon certain points; and that without loss of time. I will wait now, +if you will allow me, until the company departs; I may just as +well, for I have nowhere else to go to, and I shall certainly not +do any sleeping tonight; I'm far too excited. And finally, I must +confess that, though I know it is bad form to pursue a man in +this way, I have come to beg your friendship, my dear prince. You +are an unusual sort of a person; you don't lie at every step, as +some men do; in fact, you don't lie at all, and there is a matter +in which I need a true and sincere friend, for I really may claim +to be among the number of bona fide unfortunates just now." + +He laughed again. + +"But the trouble is," said the prince, after a slight pause for +reflection, "that goodness only knows when this party will break +up. Hadn't we better stroll into the park? I'll excuse myself, +there's no danger of their going away." + +"No, no! I have my reasons for wishing them not to suspect us of +being engaged in any specially important conversation. There are +gentry present who are a little too much interested in us. You +are not aware of that perhaps, prince? It will be a great deal +better if they see that we are friendly just in an ordinary way. +They'll all go in a couple of hours, and then I'll ask you to +give me twenty minutes-half an hour at most." + +"By all means! I assure you I am delighted--you need not have +entered into all these explanations. As for your remarks about +friendship with me--thanks, very much indeed. You must excuse my +being a little absent this evening. Do you know, I cannot somehow +be attentive to anything just now?" + +"I see, I see," said Evgenie, smiling gently. His mirth seemed +very near the surface this evening. + +"What do you see?" said the prince, startled. + +"I don't want you to suspect that I have simply come here to +deceive you and pump information out of you!" said Evgenie, still +smiling, and without making any direct reply to the question. + +"Oh, but I haven't the slightest doubt that you did come to pump +me," said the prince, laughing himself, at last; "and I dare say +you are quite prepared to deceive me too, so far as that goes. +But what of that? I'm not afraid of you; besides, you'll hardly +believe it, I feel as though I really didn't care a scrap one way +or the other, just now!--And-and-and as you are a capital fellow, +I am convinced of that, I dare say we really shall end by being +good friends. I like you very much Evgenie Pavlovitch; I consider +you a very good fellow indeed." + +"Well, in any case, you are a most delightful man to have to deal +with, be the business what it may," concluded Evgenie. "Come +along now, I'll drink a glass to your health. I'm charmed to have +entered into alliance with you. By-the-by," he added suddenly, +has this young Hippolyte come down to stay with you + +"Yes." + +"He's not going to die at once, I should think, is he?" + +"Why?" + +"Oh, I don't know. I've been half an hour here with him, and he--" + +Hippolyte had been waiting for the prince all this time, and had +never ceased looking at him and Evgenie Pavlovitch as they +conversed in the corner. He became much excited when they +approached the table once more. He was disturbed in his mind, it +seemed; perspiration stood in large drops on his forehead; in his +gleaming eyes it was easy to read impatience and agitation; his +gaze wandered from face to face of those present, and from object +to object in the room, apparently without aim. He had taken a +part, and an animated one, in the noisy conversation of the +company; but his animation was clearly the outcome of fever. His +talk was almost incoherent; he would break off in the middle of a +sentence which he had begun with great interest, and forget what +he had been saying. The prince discovered to his dismay that +Hippolyte had been allowed to drink two large glasses of +champagne; the one now standing by him being the third. All this +he found out afterwards; at the moment he did not notice +anything, very particularly. + +"Do you know I am specially glad that today is your birthday!" +cried Hippolyte. + +"Why?" + +"You'll soon see. D'you know I had a feeling that there would be +a lot of people here tonight? It's not the first time that my +presentiments have been fulfilled. I wish I had known it was your +birthday, I'd have brought you a present--perhaps I have got a +present for you! Who knows? Ha, ha! How long is it now before +daylight?" + +"Not a couple of hours," said Ptitsin, looking at his watch. +What's the good of daylight now? One can read all night in the +open air without it," said someone. + +"The good of it! Well, I want just to see a ray of the sun," said +Hippolyte. Can one drink to the sun's health, do you think, +prince?" + +"Oh, I dare say one can; but you had better be calm and lie down, +Hippolyte--that's much more important. + +"You are always preaching about resting; you are a regular nurse +to me, prince. As soon as the sun begins to 'resound' in the sky +--what poet said that? 'The sun resounded in the sky.' It is +beautiful, though there's no sense in it!--then we will go to +bed. Lebedeff, tell me, is the sun the source of life? What does +the source, or 'spring,' of life really mean in the Apocalypse? +You have heard of the 'Star that is called Wormwood,' prince?" + +"I have heard that Lebedeff explains it as the railroads that +cover Europe like a net." + +Everybody laughed, and Lebedeff got up abruptly. + +"No! Allow me, that is not what we are discussing!" he cried, +waving his hand to impose silence. "Allow me! With these +gentlemen ... all these gentlemen," he added, suddenly addressing +the prince, "on certain points ... that is ..." He thumped +the table repeatedly, and the laughter increased. Lebedeff was in +his usual evening condition, and had just ended a long and +scientific argument, which had left him excited and irritable. On +such occasions he was apt to evince a supreme contempt for his +opponents. + +"It is not right! Half an hour ago, prince, it was agreed among +us that no one should interrupt, no one should laugh, that each +person was to express his thoughts freely; and then at the end, +when everyone had spoken, objections might be made, even by the +atheists. We chose the general as president. Now without some +such rule and order, anyone might be shouted down, even in the +loftiest and most profound thought. . . ." + +"Go on! Go on! Nobody is going to interrupt you!" cried several +voices. + +"Speak, but keep to the point!" + +"What is this 'star'?" asked another. + +I have no idea," replied General Ivolgin, who presided with much +gravity. + +"I love these arguments, prince," said Keller, also more than +half intoxicated, moving restlessly in his chair. "Scientific and +political." Then, turning suddenly towards Evgenie Pavlovitch, +who was seated near him: "Do you know, I simply adore reading the +accounts of the debates in the English parliament. Not that the +discussions themselves interest me; I am not a politician, you +know; but it delights me to see how they address each other 'the +noble lord who agrees with me,' 'my honourable opponent who +astonished Europe with his proposal,' 'the noble viscount sitting +opposite'--all these expressions, all this parliamentarism of a +free people, has an enormous attraction for me. It fascinates me, +prince. I have always been an artist in the depths of my soul, I +assure you, Evgenie Pavlovitch." + +"Do you mean to say," cried Gania, from the other corner, "do you +mean to say that railways are accursed inventions, that they are +a source of ruin to humanity, a poison poured upon the earth to +corrupt the springs of life?" + +Gavrila Ardalionovitch was in high spirits that evening, and it +seemed to the prince that his gaiety was mingled with triumph. Of +course he was only joking with Lebedeff, meaning to egg him on, +but he grew excited himself at the same time. + +"Not the railways, oh dear, no!" replied Lebedeff, with a mixture +of violent anger and extreme enjoyment. "Considered alone, the +railways will not pollute the springs of life, but as a whole +they are accursed. The whole tendency of our latest centuries, in +its scientific and materialistic aspect, is most probably +accursed." + +"Is it certainly accursed? ... or do you only mean it might be? +That is an important point," said Evgenie Pavlovitch. + +"It is accursed, certainly accursed!" replied the clerk, +vehemently. + +"Don't go so fast, Lebedeff; you are much milder in the morning," +said Ptitsin, smiling. + +"But, on the other hand, more frank in the evening! In the +evening sincere and frank," repeated Lebedeff, earnestly. "More +candid, more exact, more honest, more honourable, and ... +although I may show you my weak side, I challenge you all; you +atheists, for instance! How are you going to save the world? How +find a straight road of progress, you men of science, of +industry, of cooperation, of trades unions, and all the rest? +How are you going to save it, I say? By what? By credit? What is +credit? To what will credit lead you?" + +"You are too inquisitive," remarked Evgenie Pavlovitch. + +"Well, anyone who does not interest himself in questions such as +this is, in my opinion, a mere fashionable dummy." + +"But it will lead at least to solidarity, and balance of +interests," said Ptitsin. + +"You will reach that with nothing to help you but credit? Without +recourse to any moral principle, having for your foundation only +individual selfishness, and the satisfaction of material desires? +Universal peace, and the happiness of mankind as a whole, being +the result! Is it really so that I may understand you, sir?" + +"But the universal necessity of living, of drinking, of eating-- +in short, the whole scientific conviction that this necessity can +only be satisfied by universal co-operation and the solidarity of +interests--is, it seems to me, a strong enough idea to serve as a +basis, so to speak, and a 'spring of life,' for humanity in +future centuries," said Gavrila Ardalionovitch, now thoroughly +roused. + +"The necessity of eating and drinking, that is to say, solely the +instinct of self-preservation..." + +"Is not that enough? The instinct of self-preservation is the +normal law of humanity..." + +"Who told you that?" broke in Evgenie Pavlovitch. + +"It is a law, doubtless, but a law neither more nor less normal +than that of destruction, even self-destruction. Is it possible +that the whole normal law of humanity is contained in this +sentiment of self-preservation?" + +"Ah!" cried Hippolyte, turning towards Evgenie Pavlovitch, and +looking at him with a queer sort of curiosity. + +Then seeing that Radomski was laughing, he began to laugh +himself, nudged Colia, who was sitting beside him, with his +elbow, and again asked what time it was. He even pulled Colia's +silver watch out of his hand, and looked at it eagerly. Then, as +if he had forgotten everything, he stretched himself out on the +sofa, put his hands behind his head, and looked up at the sky. +After a minute or two he got up and came back to the table to +listen to Lebedeff's outpourings, as the latter passionately +commentated on Evgenie Pavlovitch's paradox. + +"That is an artful and traitorous idea. A smart notion," +vociferated the clerk, "thrown out as an apple of discord. But it +is just. You are a scoffer, a man of the world, a cavalry +officer, and, though not without brains, you do not realize how +profound is your thought, nor how true. Yes, the laws of self- +preservation and of self-destruction are equally powerful in this +world. The devil will hold his empire over humanity until a limit +of time which is still unknown. You laugh? You do not believe in +the devil? Scepticism as to the devil is a French idea, and it is +also a frivolous idea. Do you know who the devil is? Do you know +his name? Although you don't know his name you make a mockery of +his form, following the example of Voltaire. You sneer at his +hoofs, at his tail, at his horns--all of them the produce of your +imagination! In reality the devil is a great and terrible spirit, +with neither hoofs, nor tail, nor horns; it is you who have +endowed him with these attributes! But ... he is not the +question just now!" + +"How do you know he is not the question now?" cried Hippolyte, +laughing hysterically. + +"Another excellent idea, and worth considering!" replied +Lebedeff. "But, again, that is not the question. The question at +this moment is whether we have not weakened 'the springs of life' +by the extension ..." + +"Of railways?" put in Colia eagerly. + +"Not railways, properly speaking, presumptuous youth, but the +general tendency of which railways may be considered as the +outward expression and symbol. We hurry and push and hustle, for +the good of humanity! 'The world is becoming too noisy, too +commercial!' groans some solitary thinker. 'Undoubtedly it is, +but the noise of waggons bearing bread to starving humanity is of +more value than tranquillity of soul,' replies another +triumphantly, and passes on with an air of pride. As for me, I +don't believe in these waggons bringing bread to humanity. For, +founded on no moral principle, these may well, even in the act +of carrying bread to humanity, coldly exclude a considerable +portion of humanity from enjoying it; that has been seen more +than once. + +"What, these waggons may coldly exclude?" repeated someone. + +"That has been seen already," continued Lebedeff, not deigning to +notice the interruption. "Malthus was a friend of humanity, but, +with ill-founded moral principles, the friend of humanity is the +devourer of humanity, without mentioning his pride; for, touch +the vanity of one of these numberless philanthropists, and to +avenge his self-esteem, he will be ready at once to set fire to +the whole globe; and to tell the truth, we are all more or less +like that. I, perhaps, might be the first to set a light to the +fuel, and then run away. But, again, I must repeat, that is not +the question." + +"What is it then, for goodness' sake?" + +"He is boring us!" + +"The question is connected with the following anecdote of past +times; for I am obliged to relate a story. In our times, and in +our country, which I hope you love as much as I do, for as far as +I am concerned, I am ready to shed the last drop of my blood... + +"Go on! Go on!" + +"In our dear country, as indeed in the whole of Europe, a famine +visits humanity about four times a century, as far as I can +remember; once in every twenty-five years. I won't swear to this +being the exact figure, but anyhow they have become comparatively +rare." + +"Comparatively to what?" + +"To the twelfth century, and those immediately preceding and +following it. We are told by historians that widespread famines +occurred in those days every two or three years, and such was the +condition of things that men actually had recourse to +cannibalism, in secret, of course. One of these cannibals, who +had reached a good age, declared of his own free will that during +the course of his long and miserable life he had personally +killed and eaten, in the most profound secrecy, sixty monks, not +to mention several children; the number of the latter he thought +was about six, an insignificant total when compared with the +enormous mass of ecclesiastics consumed by him. As to adults, +laymen that is to say, he had never touched them." + +The president joined in the general outcry. + +"That's impossible!" said he in an aggrieved tone. "I am often +discussing subjects of this nature with him, gentlemen, but for +the most part he talks nonsense enough to make one deaf: this +story has no pretence of being true." + +"General, remember the siege of Kars! And you, gentlemen, I +assure you my anecdote is the naked truth. I may remark that +reality, although it is governed by invariable law, has at times +a resemblance to falsehood. In fact, the truer a thing is the +less true it sounds." + +"But could anyone possibly eat sixty monks?" objected the +scoffing listeners. + +"It is quite clear that he did not eat them all at once, but in a +space of fifteen or twenty years: from that point of view the +thing is comprehensible and natural..." + +"Natural?" + +"And natural," repeated Lebedeff with pedantic obstinacy. +"Besides, a Catholic monk is by nature excessively curious; it +would be quite easy therefore to entice him into a wood, or some +secret place, on false pretences, and there to deal with him as +said. But I do not dispute in the least that the number of +persons consumed appears to denote a spice of greediness." + +"It is perhaps true, gentlemen," said the prince, quietly. He had +been listening in silence up to that moment without taking part +in the conversation, but laughing heartily with the others from +time to time. Evidently he was delighted to see that everybody +was amused, that everybody was talking at once, and even that +everybody was drinking. It seemed as if he were not intending to +speak at all, when suddenly he intervened in such a serious +voice that everyone looked at him with interest. + +"It is true that there were frequent famines at that time, +gentlemen. I have often heard of them, though I do not know much +history. But it seems to me that it must have been so. When I was +in Switzerland I used to look with astonishment at the many ruins +of feudal castles perched on the top of steep and rocky heights, +half a mile at least above sea-level, so that to reach them one +had to climb many miles of stony tracks. A castle, as you know, +is, a kind of mountain of stones--a dreadful, almost an +impossible, labour! Doubtless the builders were all poor men, +vassals, and had to pay heavy taxes, and to keep up the +priesthood. How, then, could they provide for themselves, and +when had they time to plough and sow their fields? The greater +number must, literally, have died of starvation. I have sometimes +asked myself how it was that these communities were not utterly +swept off the face of the earth, and how they could possibly +survive. Lebedeff is not mistaken, in my opinion, when he says +that there were cannibals in those days, perhaps in considerable +numbers; but I do not understand why he should have dragged in +the monks, nor what he means by that." + +"It is undoubtedly because, in the twelfth century, monks were +the only people one could eat; they were the fat, among many +lean," said Gavrila Ardalionovitch. + +"A brilliant idea, and most true!" cried Lebedeff, "for he never +even touched the laity. Sixty monks, and not a single layman! It +is a terrible idea, but it is historic, it is statistic; it is +indeed one of those facts which enables an intelligent historian +to reconstruct the physiognomy of a special epoch, for it brings +out this further point with mathematical accuracy, that the +clergy were in those days sixty times richer and more flourishing +than the rest of humanity. and perhaps sixty times fatter +also..." + +"You are exaggerating, you are exaggerating, Lebedeff!" cried his +hearers, amid laughter. + +"I admit that it is an historic thought, but what is your +conclusion?" asked the prince. + +He spoke so seriously in addressing Lebedeff, that his tone +contrasted quite comically with that of the others. They were +very nearly laughing at him, too, but he did not notice it. + +"Don't you see he is a lunatic, prince?" whispered Evgenie +Pavlovitch in his ear. "Someone told me just now that he is a bit +touched on the subject of lawyers, that he has a mania for making +speeches and intends to pass the examinations. I am expecting a +splendid burlesque now." + +"My conclusion is vast," replied Lebedeff, in a voice like +thunder. "Let us examine first the psychological and legal +position of the criminal. We see that in spite of the difficulty +of finding other food, the accused, or, as we may say, my client, +has often during his peculiar life exhibited signs of repentance, +and of wishing to give up this clerical diet. Incontrovertible +facts prove this assertion. He has eaten five or six children, a +relatively insignificant number, no doubt, but remarkable enough +from another point of view. It is manifest that, pricked by +remorse--for my client is religious, in his way, and has a +conscience, as I shall prove later--and desiring to extenuate his +sin as far as possible, he has tried six times at least to +substitute lay nourishment for clerical. That this was merely an +experiment we can hardly doubt: for if it had been only a +question of gastronomic variety, six would have been too few; why +only six? Why not thirty? But if we regard it as an experiment, +inspired by the fear of committing new sacrilege, then this +number six becomes intelligible. Six attempts to calm his +remorse, and the pricking of his conscience, would amply suffice, +for these attempts could scarcely have been happy ones. In my +humble opinion, a child is too small; I should say, not +sufficient; which would result in four or five times more lay +children than monks being required in a given time. The sin, +lessened on the one hand, would therefore be increased on the +other, in quantity, not in quality. Please understand, gentlemen, +that in reasoning thus, I am taking the point of view which might +have been taken by a criminal of the middle ages. As for myself, +a man of the late nineteenth century, I, of course, should reason +differently; I say so plainly, and therefore you need not jeer at +me nor mock me, gentlemen. As for you, general, it is still more +unbecoming on your part. In the second place, and giving my own +personal opinion, a child's flesh is not a satisfying diet; it is +too insipid, too sweet; and the criminal, in making these +experiments, could have satisfied neither his conscience nor his +appetite. I am about to conclude, gentlemen; and my conclusion +contains a reply to one of the most important questions of that +day and of our own! This criminal ended at last by denouncing +himself to the clergy, and giving himself up to justice. We +cannot but ask, remembering the penal system of that day, and the +tortures that awaited him--the wheel, the stake, the fire!--we +cannot but ask, I repeat, what induced him to accuse himself of +this crime? Why did he not simply stop short at the number sixty, +and keep his secret until his last breath? Why could he not +simply leave the monks alone, and go into the desert to repent? +Or why not become a monk himself? That is where the puzzle comes +in! There must have been something stronger than the stake or the +fire, or even than the habits of twenty years! There must have +been an idea more powerful than all the calamities and sorrows of +this world, famine or torture, leprosy or plague--an idea which +entered into the heart, directed and enlarged the springs of +life, and made even that hell supportable to humanity! Show me a +force, a power like that, in this our century of vices and +railways! I might say, perhaps, in our century of steamboats and +railways, but I repeat in our century of vices and railways, +because I am drunk but truthful! Show me a single idea which +unites men nowadays with half the strength that it had in those +centuries, and dare to maintain that the 'springs of life' have +not been polluted and weakened beneath this 'star,' beneath this +network in which men are entangled! Don't talk to me about your +prosperity, your riches, the rarity of famine, the rapidity of +the means of transport! There is more of riches, but less of +force. The idea uniting heart and soul to heart and soul exists +no more. All is loose, soft, limp--we are all of us limp.... +Enough, gentlemen! I have done. That is not the question. No, the +question is now, excellency, I believe, to sit down to the +banquet you are about to provide for us!" + +Lebedeff had roused great indignation in some of his auditors (it +should be remarked that the bottles were constantly uncorked +during his speech); but this unexpected conclusion calmed even +the most turbulent spirits. "That's how a clever barrister makes +a good point!" said he, when speaking of his peroration later on. +The visitors began to laugh and chatter once again; the committee +left their seats, and stretched their legs on the terrace. Keller +alone was still disgusted with Lebedeff and his speech; he turned +from one to another, saying in a loud voice: + +"He attacks education, he boasts of the fanaticism of the twelfth +century, he makes absurd grimaces, and added to that he is by no +means the innocent he makes himself out to be. How did he get the +money to buy this house, allow me to ask?" + +In another corner was the general, holding forth to a group of +hearers, among them Ptitsin, whom he had buttonholed. "I have +known," said he, "a real interpreter of the Apocalypse, the late +Gregory Semeonovitch Burmistroff, and he--he pierced the heart +like a fiery flash! He began by putting on his spectacles, then +he opened a large black book; his white beard, and his two medals +on his breast, recalling acts of charity, all added to his +impressiveness. He began in a stern voice, and before him +generals, hard men of the world, bowed down, and ladies fell to +the ground fainting. But this one here--he ends by announcing a +banquet! That is not the real thing!" + +Ptitsin listened and smiled, then turned as if to get his hat; +but if he had intended to leave, he changed his mind. Before the +others had risen from the table, Gania had suddenly left off +drinking, and pushed away his glass, a dark shadow seemed to come +over his face. When they all rose, he went and sat down by +Rogojin. It might have been believed that quite friendly +relations existed between them. Rogojin, who had also seemed on +the point of going away now sat motionless, his head bent, +seeming to have forgotten his intention. He had drunk no wine, +and appeared absorbed in reflection. From time to time he raised +his eyes, and examined everyone present; one might have imagined +that he was expecting something very important to himself, and +that he had decided to wait for it. The prince had taken two or +three glasses of champagne, and seemed cheerful. As he rose he +noticed Evgenie Pavlovitch, and, remembering the appointment he +had made with him, smiled pleasantly. Evgenie Pavlovitch made a +sign with his head towards Hippolyte, whom he was attentively +watching. The invalid was fast asleep, stretched out on the sofa. + +"Tell me, prince, why on earth did this boy intrude himself upon +you?" he asked, with such annoyance and irritation in his voice +that the prince was quite surprised. "I wouldn't mind laying odds +that he is up to some mischief." + +"I have observed," said the prince, "that he seems to be an +object of very singular interest to you, Evgenie Pavlovitch. Why +is it?" + +"You may add that I have surely enough to think of, on my own +account, without him; and therefore it is all the more surprising +that I cannot tear my eyes and thoughts away from his detestable +physiognomy." + +"Oh, come! He has a handsome face." + +"Why, look at him--look at him now!" + +The prince glanced again at Evgenie Pavlovitch with considerable +surprise. + +V. + +HIPPOLYTE, who had fallen asleep during Lebedeff's discourse, now +suddenly woke up, just as though someone had jogged him in the +side. He shuddered, raised himself on his arm, gazed around, and +grew very pale. A look almost of terror crossed his face as he +recollected. + +"What! are they all off? Is it all over? Is the sun up?" He +trembled, and caught at the prince's hand. "What time is it? Tell +me, quick, for goodness' sake! How long have I slept?" he added, +almost in despair, just as though he had overslept something upon +which his whole fate depended. + +"You have slept seven or perhaps eight minutes," said Evgenie +Pavlovitch. + +Hippolyte gazed eagerly at the latter, and mused for a few +moments. + +"Oh, is that all?" he said at last. "Then I--" + +He drew a long, deep breath of relief, as it seemed. He realized +that all was not over as yet, that the sun had not risen, and +that the guests had merely gone to supper. He smiled, and two +hectic spots appeared on his cheeks. + +"So you counted the minutes while I slept, did you, Evgenie +Pavlovitch?" he said, ironically. "You have not taken your eyes +off me all the evening--I have noticed that much, you see! Ah, +Rogojin! I've just been dreaming about him, prince," he added, +frowning. "Yes, by the by," starting up, "where's the orator? +Where's Lebedeff? Has he finished? What did he talk about? Is it +true, prince, that you once declared that 'beauty would save the +world'? Great Heaven! The prince says that beauty saves the +world! And I declare that he only has such playful ideas because +he's in love! Gentlemen, the prince is in love. I guessed it the +moment he came in. Don't blush, prince; you make me sorry for +you. What beauty saves the world? Colia told me that you are a +zealous Christian; is it so? Colia says you call yourself a +Christian." + +The prince regarded him attentively, but said nothing. + +"You don't answer me; perhaps you think I am very fond of you?" +added Hippolyte, as though the words had been drawn from him. + +"No, I don't think that. I know you don't love me." + +"What, after yesterday? Wasn't I honest with you?" + +"I knew yesterday that you didn't love me." + +"Why so? why so? Because I envy you, eh? You always think that, I +know. But do you know why I am saying all this? Look here! I must +have some more champagne--pour me out some, Keller, will you?" + +"No, you're not to drink any more, Hippolyte. I won't let you." +The prince moved the glass away. + +"Well perhaps you're right," said Hippolyte, musing. They might +say--yet, devil take them! what does it matter?--prince, what can +it matter what people will say of us THEN, eh? I believe I'm half +asleep. I've had such a dreadful dream--I've only just remembered +it. Prince, I don't wish you such dreams as that, though sure +enough, perhaps, I DON'T love you. Why wish a man evil, though +you do not love him, eh? Give me your hand--let me press it +sincerely. There--you've given me your hand--you must feel that I +DO press it sincerely, don't you? I don't think I shall drink any +more. What time is it? Never mind, I know the time. The time has +come, at all events. What! they are laying supper over there, are +they? Then this table is free? Capital, gentlemen! I--hem! these +gentlemen are not listening. Prince, I will just read over an +article I have here. Supper is more interesting, of course, but--" + +Here Hippolyte suddenly, and most unexpectedly, pulled out of his +breast-pocket a large sealed paper. This imposing-looking +document he placed upon the table before him. + +The effect of this sudden action upon the company was +instantaneous. Evgenie Pavlovitch almost bounded off his chair in +excitement. Rogojin drew nearer to the table with a look on his +face as if he knew what was coming. Gania came nearer too; so did +Lebedeff and the others--the paper seemed to be an object of +great interest to the company in general. + +"What have you got there?" asked the prince, with some anxiety. + +"At the first glimpse of the rising sun, prince, I will go to +bed. I told you I would, word of honour! You shall see!" cried +Hippolyte. "You think I'm not capable of opening this packet, do +you?" He glared defiantly round at the audience in general. + +The prince observed that he was trembling all over. + +"None of us ever thought such a thing!" Muishkin replied for all. +"Why should you suppose it of us? And what are you going to read, +Hippolyte? What is it?" + +"Yes, what is it?" asked others. The packet sealed with red wax +seemed to attract everyone, as though it were a magnet. + +"I wrote this yesterday, myself, just after I saw you, prince, +and told you I would come down here. I wrote all day and all +night, and finished it this morning early. Afterwards I had a +dream." + +"Hadn't we better hear it tomorrow?" asked the prince timidly. + +"Tomorrow 'there will be no more time!'" laughed Hippolyte, +hysterically. "You needn't be afraid; I shall get through the +whole thing in forty minutes, at most an hour! Look how +interested everybody is! Everybody has drawn near. Look! look at +them all staring at my sealed packet! If I hadn't sealed it up it +wouldn't have been half so effective! Ha, ha! that's mystery, +that is! Now then, gentlemen, shall I break the seal or not? Say +the word; it's a mystery, I tell you--a secret! Prince, you know +who said there would be 'no more time'? It was the great and +powerful angel in the Apocalypse." + +"Better not read it now," said the prince, putting his hand on +the packet. + +"No, don't read it!" cried Evgenie suddenly. He appeared so +strangely disturbed that many of those present could not help +wondering. + +"Reading? None of your reading now!" said somebody; "it's supper- +time." "What sort of an article is it? For a paper? Probably it's +very dull," said another. But the prince's timid gesture had +impressed even Hippolyte. + +"Then I'm not to read it?" he whispered, nervously. "Am I not to +read it?" he repeated, gazing around at each face in turn. "What +are you afraid of, prince?" he turned and asked the latter +suddenly. + +"What should I be afraid of?" + +"Has anyone a coin about them? Give me a twenty-copeck piece, +somebody!" And Hippolyte leapt from his chair. + +"Here you are," said Lebedeff, handing him one; he thought the +boy had gone mad. + +"Vera Lukianovna," said Hippolyte, "toss it, will you? Heads, I +read, tails, I don't." + +Vera Lebedeff tossed the coin into the air and let it fall on the +table. + +It was "heads." + +"Then I read it," said Hippolyte, in the tone of one bowing to +the fiat of destiny. He could not have grown paler if a verdict +of death had suddenly been presented to him. + +"But after all, what is it? Is it possible that I should have +just risked my fate by tossing up?" he went on, shuddering; and +looked round him again. His eyes had a curious expression of +sincerity. "That is an astonishing psychological fact," he cried, +suddenly addressing the prince, in a tone of the most intense +surprise. "It is ... it is something quite inconceivable, +prince," he repeated with growing animation, like a man regaining +consciousness. "Take note of it, prince, remember it; you +collect, I am told, facts concerning capital punishment... They +told me so. Ha, ha! My God, how absurd!" He sat down on the sofa, +put his elbows on the table, and laid his head on his hands. "It +is shameful--though what does it matter to me if it is shameful? + +"Gentlemen, gentlemen! I am about to break the seal," he +continued, with determination. "I-I--of course I don't insist +upon anyone listening if they do not wish to." + +With trembling fingers he broke the seal and drew out several +sheets of paper, smoothed them out before him, and began sorting +them. + +"What on earth does all this mean? What's he going to read?" +muttered several voices. Others said nothing; but one and all sat +down and watched with curiosity. They began to think something +strange might really be about to happen. Vera stood and trembled +behind her father's chair, almost in tears with fright; Colia was +nearly as much alarmed as she was. Lebedeff jumped up and put a +couple of candles nearer to Hippolyte, so that he might see +better. + +"Gentlemen, this--you'll soon see what this is," began Hippolyte, +and suddenly commenced his reading. + +"It's headed, 'A Necessary Explanation,' with the motto, 'Apres +moi le deluge!' Oh, deuce take it all! Surely I can never have +seriously written such a silly motto as that? Look here, +gentlemen, I beg to give notice that all this is very likely +terrible nonsense. It is only a few ideas of mine. If you think +that there is anything mysterious coming--or in a word--" + +"Better read on without any more beating about the bush," said +Gania. + +"Affectation!" remarked someone else. + +"Too much talk," said Rogojin, breaking the silence for the first +time. + +Hippolyte glanced at him suddenly, and when their eye, met +Rogojin showed his teeth in a disagreeable smile, and said the +following strange words: "That's not the way to settle this +business, my friend; that's not the way at all." + +Of course nobody knew what Rogojin meant by this; but his words +made a deep impression upon all. Everyone seemed to see in a +flash the same idea. + +As for Hippolyte, their effect upon him was astounding. He +trembled so that the prince was obliged to support him, and would +certainly have cried out, but that his voice seemed to have +entirely left him for the moment. For a minute or two he could +not speak at all, but panted and stared at Rogojin. At last he +managed to ejaculate: + +"Then it was YOU who came--YOU--YOU?" + +"Came where? What do you mean?" asked Rogojin, amazed. But +Hippolyte, panting and choking with excitement, interrupted him +violently. + +"YOU came to me last week, in the night, at two o'clock, the day +I was with you in the morning! Confess it was you!" + +"Last week? In the night? Have you gone cracked, my good friend?" + +Hippolyte paused and considered a moment. Then a smile of +cunning--almost triumph--crossed his lips. + +"It was you," he murmured, almost in a whisper, but with absolute +conviction. "Yes, it was you who came to my room and sat silently +on a chair at my window for a whole hour--more! It was between +one and two at night; you rose and went out at about three. It +was you, you! Why you should have frightened me so, why you +should have wished to torment me like that, I cannot tell--but you +it was." + +There was absolute hatred in his eyes as he said this, but his +look of fear and his trembling had not left him. + +"You shall hear all this directly, gentlemen. I-I--listen!" + +He seized his paper in a desperate hurry; he fidgeted with it, +and tried to sort it, but for a long while his trembling hands +could not collect the sheets together. "He's either mad or +delirious," murmured Rogojin. At last he began. + +For the first five minutes the reader's voice continued to +tremble, and he read disconnectedly and unevenly; but gradually +his voice strengthened. Occasionally a violent fit of coughing +stopped him, but his animation grew with the progress of the +reading--as did also the disagreeable impression which it made +upon his audience,--until it reached the highest pitch of +excitement. + +Here is the article. + +MY NECESSARY EXPLANATION. + +"Apres moi le deluge. + +"Yesterday morning the prince came to see me. Among other things +he asked me to come down to his villa. I knew he would come and +persuade me to this step, and that he would adduce the argument +that it would be easier for me to die' among people and green +trees,'--as he expressed it. But today he did not say 'die,' he +said 'live.' It is pretty much the same to me, in my position, +which he says. When I asked him why he made such a point of his +'green trees,' he told me, to my astonishment, that he had heard +that last time I was in Pavlofsk I had said that I had come 'to +have a last look at the trees.' + +"When I observed that it was all the same whether one died among +trees or in front of a blank brick wall, as here, and that it was +not worth making any fuss over a fortnight, he agreed at once. +But he insisted that the good air at Pavlofsk and the greenness +would certainly cause a physical change for the better, and that +my excitement, and my DREAMS, would be perhaps relieved. I +remarked to him, with a smile, that he spoke like a materialist, +and he answered that he had always been one. As he never tells a +lie, there must be something in his words. His smile is a +pleasant one. I have had a good look at him. I don't know whether +I like him or not; and I have no time to waste over the question. +The hatred which I felt for him for five months has become +considerably modified, I may say, during the last month. Who +knows, perhaps I am going to Pavlofsk on purpose to see him! But +why do I leave my chamber? Those who are sentenced to death +should not leave their cells. If I had not formed a final +resolve, but had decided to wait until the last minute, I should +not leave my room, or accept his invitation to come and die at +Pavlofsk. I must be quick and finish this explanation before +tomorrow. I shall have no time to read it over and correct it, for +I must read it tomorrow to the prince and two or three witnesses +whom I shall probably find there. + +"As it will be absolutely true, without a touch of falsehood, I +am curious to see what impression it will make upon me myself at +the moment when I read it out. This is my 'last and solemn'--but +why need I call it that? There is no question about the truth of +it, for it is not worthwhile lying for a fortnight; a fortnight +of life is not itself worth having, which is a proof that I write +nothing here but pure truth. + +("N.B.--Let me remember to consider; am I mad at this moment, or +not? or rather at these moments? I have been told that +consumptives sometimes do go out of their minds for a while in +the last stages of the malady. I can prove this tomorrow when I +read it out, by the impression it makes upon the audience. I must +settle this question once and for all, otherwise I can't go on +with anything.) + +"I believe I have just written dreadful nonsense; but there's no +time for correcting, as I said before. Besides that, I have made +myself a promise not to alter a single word of what I write in +this paper, even though I find that I am contradicting myself +every five lines. I wish to verify the working of the natural +logic of my ideas tomorrow during the reading--whether I am +capable of detecting logical errors, and whether all that I have +meditated over during the last six months be true, or nothing but +delirium. + +"If two months since I had been called upon to leave my room and +the view of Meyer's wall opposite, I verily believe I should have +been sorry. But now I have no such feeling, and yet I am leaving +this room and Meyer's brick wall FOR EVER. So that my conclusion, +that it is not worth while indulging in grief, or any other +emotion, for a fortnight, has proved stronger than my very +nature, and has taken over the direction of my feelings. But is +it so? Is it the case that my nature is conquered entirely? If I +were to be put on the rack now, I should certainly cry out. I +should not say that it is not worth while to yell and feel pain +because I have but a fortnight to live. + +"But is it true that I have but a fortnight of life left to me? I +know I told some of my friends that Doctor B. had informed me +that this was the case; but I now confess that I lied; B. has not +even seen me. However, a week ago, I called in a medical student, +Kislorodoff, who is a Nationalist, an Atheist, and a Nihilist, by +conviction, and that is why I had him. I needed a man who would +tell me the bare truth without any humbug or ceremony--and so he +did--indeed, almost with pleasure (which I thought was going a +little too far). + +"Well, he plumped out that I had about a month left me; it might +be a little more, he said, under favourable circumstances, but +it might also be considerably less. According to his opinion I +might die quite suddenly--tomorrow, for instance--there had been +such cases. Only a day or two since a young lady at Colomna who +suffered from consumption, and was about on a par with myself in +the march of the disease, was going out to market to buy +provisions, when she suddenly felt faint, lay down on the sofa, +gasped once, and died. + +"Kislorodoff told me all this with a sort of exaggerated devil- +may-care negligence, and as though he did me great honour by +talking to me so, because it showed that he considered me the +same sort of exalted Nihilistic being as himself, to whom death +was a matter of no consequence whatever, either way. + +"At all events, the fact remained--a month of life and no more! +That he is right in his estimation I am absolutely persuaded. + +"It puzzles me much to think how on earth the prince guessed +yesterday that I have had bad dreams. He said to me, 'Your +excitement and dreams will find relief at Pavlofsk.' Why did he +say 'dreams'? Either he is a doctor, or else he is a man of +exceptional intelligence and wonderful powers of observation. +(But that he is an 'idiot,' at bottom there can be no doubt +whatever.) It so happened that just before he arrived I had a +delightful little dream; one of a kind that I have hundreds of +just now. I had fallen asleep about an hour before he came in, +and dreamed that I was in some room, not my own. It was a large +room, well furnished, with a cupboard, chest of drawers, sofa, +and my bed, a fine wide bed covered with a silken counterpane. +But I observed in the room a dreadful-looking creature, a sort of +monster. It was a little like a scorpion, but was not a scorpion, +but far more horrible, and especially so, because there are no +creatures anything like it in nature, and because it had appeared +to me for a purpose, and bore some mysterious signification. I +looked at the beast well; it was brown in colour and had a shell; +it was a crawling kind of reptile, about eight inches long, and +narrowed down from the head, which was about a couple of fingers +in width, to the end of the tail, which came to a fine point. Out +of its trunk, about a couple of inches below its head, came two +legs at an angle of forty-five degrees, each about three inches +long, so that the beast looked like a trident from above. It had +eight hard needle-like whiskers coming out from different parts +of its body; it went along like a snake, bending its body about +in spite of the shell it wore, and its motion was very quick and +very horrible to look at. I was dreadfully afraid it would sting +me; somebody had told me, I thought, that it was venomous; but +what tormented me most of all was the wondering and wondering as +to who had sent it into my room, and what was the mystery which I +felt it contained. + +"It hid itself under the cupboard and under the chest of drawers, +and crawled into the corners. I sat on a chair and kept my legs +tucked under me. Then the beast crawled quietly across the room +and disappeared somewhere near my chair. I looked about for it in +terror, but I still hoped that as my feet were safely tucked away +it would not be able to touch me. + +"Suddenly I heard behind me, and about on a level with my head, a +sort of rattling sound. I turned sharp round and saw that the +brute had crawled up the wall as high as the level of my face, +and that its horrible tail, which was moving incredibly fast from +side to side, was actually touching my hair! I jumped up--and it +disappeared. I did not dare lie down on my bed for fear it should +creep under my pillow. My mother came into the room, and some +friends of hers. They began to hunt for the reptile and were more +composed than I was; they did not seem to be afraid of it. But +they did not understand as I did. + +"Suddenly the monster reappeared; it crawled slowly across the +room and made for the door, as though with some fixed intention, +and with a slow movement that was more horrible than ever. + +"Then my mother opened the door and called my dog, Norma. Norma +was a great Newfoundland, and died five years ago. + +"She sprang forward and stood still in front of the reptile as if +she had been turned to stone. The beast stopped too, but its tail +and claws still moved about. I believe animals are incapable of +feeling supernatural fright--if I have been rightly informed,--but +at this moment there appeared to me to be something more than +ordinary about Norma's terror, as though it must be supernatural; +and as though she felt, just as I did myself, that this reptile +was connected with some mysterious secret, some fatal omen. + +"Norma backed slowly and carefully away from the brute, which +followed her, creeping deliberately after her as though it +intended to make a sudden dart and sting her. + +"In spite of Norma's terror she looked furious, though she +trembled in all her limbs. At length she slowly bared her +terrible teeth, opened her great red jaws, hesitated--took +courage, and seized the beast in her mouth. It seemed to try to +dart out of her jaws twice, but Norma caught at it and half +swallowed it as it was escaping. The shell cracked in her teeth; +and the tail and legs stuck out of her mouth and shook about in a +horrible manner. Suddenly Norma gave a piteous whine; the reptile +had bitten her tongue. She opened her mouth wide with the pain, +and I saw the beast lying across her tongue, and out of its body, +which was almost bitten in two, came a hideous white-looking +substance, oozing out into Norma's mouth; it was of the +consistency of a crushed black-beetle. just then I awoke and the +prince entered the room." + +"Gentlemen!" said Hippolyte, breaking off here, "I have not done +yet, but it seems to me that I have written down a great deal +here that is unnecessary,--this dream--" + +"You have indeed!" said Gania. + +"There is too much about myself, I know, but--" As Hippolyte said +this his face wore a tired, pained look, and he wiped the sweat +off his brow. + +"Yes," said Lebedeff, "you certainly think a great deal too much +about yourself." + +"Well--gentlemen--I do not force anyone to listen! If any of you +are unwilling to sit it out, please go away, by all means!" + +"He turns people out of a house that isn't his own," muttered +Rogojin. + +"Suppose we all go away?" said Ferdishenko suddenly. + +Hippolyte clutched his manuscript, and gazing at the last speaker +with glittering eyes, said: "You don't like me at all!" A few +laughed at this, but not all. + +"Hippolyte," said the prince, "give me the papers, and go to bed +like a sensible fellow. We'll have a good talk tomorrow, but you +really mustn't go on with this reading; it is not good for you!" + +"How can I? How can I?" cried Hippolyte, looking at him in +amazement. "Gentlemen! I was a fool! I won't break off again. +Listen, everyone who wants to!" + +He gulped down some water out of a glass standing near, bent over +the table, in order to hide his face from the audience, and +recommenced. + +"The idea that it is not worth while living for a few weeks took +possession of me a month ago, when I was told that I had four +weeks to live, but only partially so at that time. The idea quite +overmastered me three days since, that evening at Pavlofsk. The +first time that I felt really impressed with this thought was on +the terrace at the prince's, at the very moment when I had taken +it into my head to make a last trial of life. I wanted to see +people and trees (I believe I said so myself), I got excited, I +maintained Burdovsky's rights, 'my neighbour!'--I dreamt that one +and all would open their arms, and embrace me, that there would +be an indescribable exchange of forgiveness between us all! In a +word, I behaved like a fool, and then, at that very same instant, +I felt my 'last conviction.' I ask myself now how I could have +waited six months for that conviction! I knew that I had a +disease that spares no one, and I really had no illusions; but +the more I realized my condition, the more I clung to life; I +wanted to live at any price. I confess I might well have resented +that blind, deaf fate, which, with no apparent reason, seemed to +have decided to crush me like a fly; but why did I not stop at +resentment? Why did I begin to live, knowing that it was not +worthwhile to begin? Why did I attempt to do what I knew to be +an impossibility? And yet I could not even read a book to the +end; I had given up reading. What is the good of reading, what is +the good of learning anything, for just six months? That thought +has made me throw aside a book more than once. + +"Yes, that wall of Meyer's could tell a tale if it liked. There +was no spot on its dirty surface that I did not know by heart. +Accursed wall! and yet it is dearer to me than all the Pavlofsk +trees!--That is--it WOULD be dearer if it were not all the same +to me, now! + +"I remember now with what hungry interest I began to watch the +lives of other people--interest that I had never felt before! I +used to wait for Colia's arrival impatiently, for I was so ill +myself, then, that I could not leave the house. I so threw myself +into every little detail of news, and took so much interest in +every report and rumour, that I believe I became a regular +gossip! I could not understand, among other things, how all these +people--with so much life in and before them--do not become RICH-- +and I don't understand it now. I remember being told of a poor +wretch I once knew, who had died of hunger. I was almost beside +myself with rage! I believe if I could have resuscitated him I +would have done so for the sole purpose of murdering him! + +"Occasionally I was so much better that I could go out; but the +streets used to put me in such a rage that I would lock myself up +for days rather than go out, even if I were well enough to do so! +I could not bear to see all those preoccupied, anxious-looking +creatures continuously surging along the streets past me! Why are +they always anxious? What is the meaning of their eternal care +and worry? It is their wickedness, their perpetual detestable +malice--that's what it is--they are all full of malice, malice! + +"Whose fault is it that they are all miserable, that they don't +know how to live, though they have fifty or sixty years of life +before them? Why did that fool allow himself to die of hunger +with sixty years of unlived life before him? + +"And everyone of them shows his rags, his toil-worn hands, and +yells in his wrath: 'Here are we, working like cattle all our +lives, and always as hungry as dogs, and there are others who do +not work, and are fat and rich!' The eternal refrain! And side by +side with them trots along some wretched fellow who has known +better days, doing light porter's work from morn to night for a +living, always blubbering and saying that 'his wife died because +he had no money to buy medicine with,' and his children dying of +cold and hunger, and his eldest daughter gone to the bad, and so +on. Oh! I have no pity and no patience for these fools of people. +Why can't they be Rothschilds? Whose fault is it that a man has +not got millions of money like Rothschild? If he has life, all +this must be in his power! Whose fault is it that he does not +know how to live his life? + +"Oh! it's all the same to me now--NOW! But at that time I would +soak my pillow at night with tears of mortification, and tear at +my blanket in my rage and fury. Oh, how I longed at that time to +be turned out--ME, eighteen years old, poor, half-clothed, turned +out into the street, quite alone, without lodging, without work, +without a crust of bread, without relations, without a single +acquaintance, in some large town--hungry, beaten (if you like), +but in good health--and THEN I would show them-- + +"What would I show them? + +"Oh, don't think that I have no sense of my own humiliation! I +have suffered already in reading so far. Which of you all does +not think me a fool at this moment--a young fool who knows +nothing of life--forgetting that to live as I have lived these +last six months is to live longer than grey-haired old men. Well, +let them laugh, and say it is all nonsense, if they please. They +may say it is all fairy-tales, if they like; and I have spent +whole nights telling myself fairy-tales. I remember them all. But +how can I tell fairy-tales now? The time for them is over. They +amused me when I found that there was not even time for me to +learn the Greek grammar, as I wanted to do. 'I shall die before I +get to the syntax,' I thought at the first page--and threw the +book under the table. It is there still, for I forbade anyone to +pick it up. + +"If this 'Explanation' gets into anybody's hands, and they have +patience to read it through, they may consider me a madman, or a +schoolboy, or, more likely, a man condemned to die, who thought +it only natural to conclude that all men, excepting himself, +esteem life far too lightly, live it far too carelessly and +lazily, and are, therefore, one and all, unworthy of it. Well, I +affirm that my reader is wrong again, for my convictions have +nothing to do with my sentence of death. Ask them, ask any one of +them, or all of them, what they mean by happiness! Oh, you may be +perfectly sure that if Columbus was happy, it was not after he +had discovered America, but when he was discovering it! You may +be quite sure that he reached the culminating point of his +happiness three days before he saw the New World with his actual +eves, when his mutinous sailors wanted to tack about, and return +to Europe! What did the New World matter after all? Columbus had +hardly seen it when he died, and in reality he was entirely +ignorant of what he had discovered. The important thing is life-- +life and nothing else! What is any 'discovery' whatever compared +with the incessant, eternal discovery of life? + +"But what is the use of talking? I'm afraid all this is so +commonplace that my confession will be taken for a schoolboy +exercise--the work of some ambitious lad writing in the hope of +his work 'seeing the light'; or perhaps my readers will say that +'I had perhaps something to say, but did not know how to express +it.' + +"Let me add to this that in every idea emanating from genius, or +even in every serious human idea--born in the human brain--there +always remains something--some sediment--which cannot be expressed +to others, though one wrote volumes and lectured upon it for +five-and-thirty years. There is always a something, a remnant, +which will never come out from your brain, but will remain there +with you, and you alone, for ever and ever, and you will die, +perhaps, without having imparted what may be the very essence of +your idea to a single living soul. + +"So that if I cannot now impart all that has tormented me for +the last six months, at all events you will understand that, +having reached my 'last convictions,' I must have paid a very +dear price for them. That is what I wished, for reasons of my +own, to make a point of in this my 'Explanation.' + +"But let me resume. + +VI. + +"I WILL not deceive you. 'Reality' got me so entrapped in its +meshes now and again during the past six months, that I forgot my +'sentence' (or perhaps I did not wish to think of it), and +actually busied myself with affairs. + +"A word as to my circumstances. When, eight months since, I +became very ill, I threw up all my old connections and dropped +all my old companions. As I was always a gloomy, morose sort of +individual, my friends easily forgot me; of course, they would +have forgotten me all the same, without that excuse. My position +at home was solitary enough. Five months ago I separated myself +entirely from the family, and no one dared enter my room except +at stated times, to clean and tidy it, and so on, and to bring me +my meals. My mother dared not disobey me; she kept the children +quiet, for my sake, and beat them if they dared to make any noise +and disturb me. I so often complained of them that I should think +they must be very fond, indeed, of me by this time. I think I +must have tormented 'my faithful Colia' (as I called him) a +good deal too. He tormented me of late; I could see that he +always bore my tempers as though he had determined to 'spare the +poor invalid.' This annoyed me, naturally. He seemed to have +taken it into his head to imitate the prince in Christian +meekness! Surikoff, who lived above us, annoyed me, too. He was +so miserably poor, and I used to prove to him that he had no one +to blame but himself for his poverty. I used to be so angry that +I think I frightened him eventually, for he stopped coming to see +me. He was a most meek and humble fellow, was Surikoff. (N.B.-- +They say that meekness is a great power. I must ask the prince +about this, for the expression is his.) But I remember one day in +March, when I went up to his lodgings to see whether it was true +that one of his children had been starved and frozen to death, I +began to hold forth to him about his poverty being his own fault, +and, in the course of my remarks, I accidentally smiled at the +corpse of his child. Well, the poor wretch's lips began to +tremble, and he caught me by the shoulder, and pushed me to the +door. 'Go out,' he said, in a whisper. I went out, of course, and +I declare I LIKED it. I liked it at the very moment when I was +turned out. But his words filled me with a strange sort of +feeling of disdainful pity for him whenever I thought of them--a +feeling which I did not in the least desire to entertain. At the +very moment of the insult (for I admit that I did insult him, +though I did not mean to), this man could not lose his temper. +His lips had trembled, but I swear it was not with rage. He had +taken me by the arm, and said, 'Go out,' without the least anger. +There was dignity, a great deal of dignity, about him, and it was +so inconsistent with the look of him that, I assure you, it was +quite comical. But there was no anger. Perhaps he merely began to +despise me at that moment. + +"Since that time he has always taken off his hat to me on the +stairs, whenever I met him, which is a thing he never did before; +but he always gets away from me as quickly as he can, as though +he felt confused. If he did despise me, he despised me 'meekly,' +after his own fashion. + +"I dare say he only took his hat off out of fear, as it were, to +the son of his creditor; for he always owed my mother money. I +thought of having an explanation with him, but I knew that if I +did, he would begin to apologize in a minute or two, so I decided +to let him alone. + +"Just about that time, that is, the middle of March, I suddenly +felt very much better; this continued for a couple of weeks. I +used to go out at dusk. I like the dusk, especially in March, +when the night frost begins to harden the day's puddles, and the +gas is burning. + +"Well, one night in the Shestilavochnaya, a man passed me with a +paper parcel under his arm. I did not take stock of him very +carefully, but he seemed to be dressed in some shabby summer +dust-coat, much too light for the season. When he was opposite +the lamp-post, some ten yards away, I observed something fall out +of his pocket. I hurried forward to pick it up, just in time, for +an old wretch in a long kaftan rushed up too. He did not dispute +the matter, but glanced at what was in my hand and disappeared. + +"It was a large old-fashioned pocket-book, stuffed full; but I +guessed, at a glance, that it had anything in the world inside +it, except money. + +"The owner was now some forty yards ahead of me, and was very +soon lost in the crowd. I ran after him, and began calling out; +but as I knew nothing to say excepting 'hey!' he did not turn +round. Suddenly he turned into the gate of a house to the left; +and when I darted in after him, the gateway was so dark that I +could see nothing whatever. It was one of those large houses +built in small tenements, of which there must have been at least +a hundred. + +"When I entered the yard I thought I saw a man going along on the +far side of it; but it was so dark I could not make out his +figure. + +"I crossed to that corner and found a dirty dark staircase. I +heard a man mounting up above me, some way higher than I was, and +thinking I should catch him before his door would be opened to +him, I rushed after him. I heard a door open and shut on the +fifth storey, as I panted along; the stairs were narrow, and the +steps innumerable, but at last I reached the door I thought the +right one. Some moments passed before I found the bell and got it +to ring. + +"An old peasant woman opened the door; she was busy lighting the +'samovar' in a tiny kitchen. She listened silently to my +questions, did not understand a word, of course, and opened +another door leading into a little bit of a room, low and +scarcely furnished at all, but with a large, wide bed in it, hung +with curtains. On this bed lay one Terentich, as the woman called +him, drunk, it appeared to me. On the table was an end of candle +in an iron candlestick, and a half-bottle of vodka, nearly +finished. Terentich muttered something to me, and signed towards +the next room. The old woman had disappeared, so there was +nothing for me to do but to open the door indicated. I did so, +and entered the next room. + +"This was still smaller than the other, so cramped that I could +scarcely turn round; a narrow single bed at one side took up +nearly all the room. Besides the bed there were only three common +chairs, and a wretched old kitchen-table standing before a small +sofa. One could hardly squeeze through between the table and the +bed. + +"On the table, as in the other room, burned a tallow candle-end +in an iron candlestick; and on the bed there whined a baby of +scarcely three weeks old. A pale-looking woman was dressing the +child, probably the mother; she looked as though she had not as +yet got over the trouble of childbirth, she seemed so weak and +was so carelessly dressed. Another child, a little girl of about +three years old, lay on the sofa, covered over with what looked +like a man's old dress-coat. + +"At the table stood a man in his shirt sleeves; he had thrown off +his coat; it lay upon the bed; and he was unfolding a blue paper +parcel in which were a couple of pounds of bread, and some little +sausages. + +"On the table along with these things were a few old bits of +black bread, and some tea in a pot. From under the bed there +protruded an open portmanteau full of bundles of rags. In a word, +the confusion and untidiness of the room were indescribable. + +"It appeared to me, at the first glance, that both the man and +the woman were respectable people, but brought to that pitch of +poverty where untidiness seems to get the better of every effort +to cope with it, till at last they take a sort of bitter +satisfaction in it. When I entered the room, the man, who had +entered but a moment before me, and was still unpacking his +parcels, was saying something to his wife in an excited manner. +The news was apparently bad, as usual, for the woman began +whimpering. The man's face seemed tome to be refined and even +pleasant. He was dark-complexioned, and about twenty-eight years +of age; he wore black whiskers, and his lip and chin were shaved. +He looked morose, but with a sort of pride of expression. A +curious scene followed. + +"There are people who find satisfaction in their own touchy +feelings, especially when they have just taken the deepest +offence; at such moments they feel that they would rather be +offended than not. These easily-ignited natures, if they are +wise, are always full of remorse afterwards, when they reflect +that they have been ten times as angry as they need have been. + +"The gentleman before me gazed at me for some seconds in +amazement, and his wife in terror; as though there was something +alarmingly extraordinary in the fact that anyone could come to +see them. But suddenly he fell upon me almost with fury; I had +had no time to mutter more than a couple of words; but he had +doubtless observed that I was decently dressed and, therefore, +took deep offence because I had dared enter his den so +unceremoniously, and spy out the squalor and untidiness of it. + +"Of course he was delighted to get hold of someone upon whom to +vent his rage against things in general. + +"For a moment I thought he would assault me; he grew so pale that +he looked like a woman about to have hysterics; his wife was +dreadfully alarmed. + +"'How dare you come in so? Be off!' he shouted, trembling all +over with rage and scarcely able to articulate the words. +Suddenly, however, he observed his pocketbook in my hand. + +"'I think you dropped this,' I remarked, as quietly and drily as +I could. (I thought it best to treat him so.) For some while he +stood before me in downright terror, and seemed unable to +understand. He then suddenly grabbed at his side-pocket, opened +his mouth in alarm, and beat his forehead with his hand. + +"'My God!' he cried, 'where did you find it? How?' I explained in +as few words as I could, and as drily as possible, how I had seen +it and picked it up; how I had run after him, and called out to +him, and how I had followed him upstairs and groped my way to his +door. + +"'Gracious Heaven!' he cried, 'all our papers are in it! My dear +sir, you little know what you have done for us. I should have +been lost--lost!' + +"I had taken hold of the door-handle meanwhile, intending to +leave the room without reply; but I was panting with my run +upstairs, and my exhaustion came to a climax in a violent fit of +coughing, so bad that I could hardly stand. + +"I saw how the man dashed about the room to find me an empty +chair, how he kicked the rags off a chair which was covered up by +them, brought it to me, and helped me to sit down; but my cough +went on for another three minutes or so. When I came to myself he +was sitting by me on another chair, which he had also cleared of +the rubbish by throwing it all over the floor, and was watching +me intently. + +"'I'm afraid you are ill?' he remarked, in the tone which doctors +use when they address a patient. 'I am myself a medical man' (he +did not say 'doctor'), with which words he waved his hands +towards the room and its contents as though in protest at his +present condition. 'I see that you--' + +"'I'm in consumption,' I said laconically, rising from my seat. + +He jumped up, too. + +"'Perhaps you are exaggerating--if you were to take proper +measures perhaps--" + +"He was terribly confused and did not seem able to collect his +scattered senses; the pocket-book was still in his left hand. + +"'Oh, don't mind me,' I said. 'Dr. B-- saw me last week' (I +lugged him in again), 'and my hash is quite settled; pardon me-' +I took hold of the door-handle again. I was on the point of +opening the door and leaving my grateful but confused medical +friend to himself and his shame, when my damnable cough got hold +of me again. + +"My doctor insisted on my sitting down again to get my breath. He +now said something to his wife who, without leaving her place, +addressed a few words of gratitude and courtesy to me. She seemed +very shy over it, and her sickly face flushed up with confusion. +I remained, but with the air of a man who knows he is intruding +and is anxious to get away. The doctor's remorse at last seemed +to need a vent, I could see. + +"'If I--' he began, breaking off abruptly every other moment, and +starting another sentence. 'I-I am so very grateful to you, and I +am so much to blame in your eyes, I feel sure, I--you see--' (he +pointed to the room again) 'at this moment I am in such a +position-' + +"'Oh!' I said, 'there's nothing to see; it's quite a clear case-- +you've lost your post and have come up to make explanations and +get another, if you can!' + +"'How do you know that?' he asked in amazement. + +"'Oh, it was evident at the first glance,' I said ironically, but +not intentionally so. 'There are lots of people who come up from +the provinces full of hope, and run about town, and have to live +as best they can.' + +"He began to talk at once excitedly and with trembling lips; he +began complaining and telling me his story. He interested me, I +confess; I sat there nearly an hour. His story was a very +ordinary one. He had been a provincial doctor; he had a civil +appointment, and had no sooner taken it up than intrigues began. +Even his wife was dragged into these. He was proud, and flew into +a passion; there was a change of local government which acted in +favour of his opponents; his position was undermined, complaints +were made against him; he lost his post and came up to Petersburg +with his last remaining money, in order to appeal to higher +authorities. Of course nobody would listen to him for a long +time; he would come and tell his story one day and be refused +promptly; another day he would be fed on false promises; again he +would be treated harshly; then he would be told to sign some +documents; then he would sign the paper and hand it in, and they +would refuse to receive it, and tell him to file a formal +petition. In a word he had been driven about from office to +office for five months and had spent every farthing he had; his +wife's last rags had just been pawned; and meanwhile a child had +been born to them and--and today I have a final refusal to my +petition, and I have hardly a crumb of bread left--I have nothing +left; my wife has had a baby lately--and I-I--' + +"He sprang up from his chair and turned away. His wife was crying +in the corner; the child had begun to moan again. I pulled out my +note-book and began writing in it. When I had finished and rose +from my chair he was standing before me with an expression of +alarmed curiosity. + +"'I have jotted down your name,' I told him, 'and all the rest of +it--the place you served at, the district, the date, and all. I +have a friend, Bachmatoff, whose uncle is a councillor of state +and has to do with these matters, one Peter Matveyevitch +Bachmatoff.' + +"'Peter Matveyevitch Bachmatoff!' he cried, trembling all over +with excitement. 'Why, nearly everything depends on that very +man!' + +"It is very curious, this story of the medical man, and my visit, +and the happy termination to which I contributed by accident! +Everything fitted in, as in a novel. I told the poor people not +to put much hope in me, because I was but a poor schoolboy myself-- +(I am not really, but I humiliated myself as much as possible in +order to make them less hopeful)--but that I would go at once +to the Vassili Ostroff and see my friend; and that as I knew +for certain that his uncle adored him, and was absolutely devoted +to him as the last hope and branch of the family, perhaps the old +man might do something to oblige his nephew. + +"'If only they would allow me to explain all to his excellency! +If I could but be permitted to tell my tale to him!" he cried, +trembling with feverish agitation, and his eyes flashing with +excitement. I repeated once more that I could not hold out much +hope--that it would probably end in smoke, and if I did not turn +up next morning they must make up their minds that there was no +more to be done in the matter. + +"They showed me out with bows and every kind of respect; they +seemed quite beside themselves. I shall never forget the +expression of their faces! + +"I took a droshky and drove over to the Vassili Ostroff at once. +For some years I had been at enmity with this young Bachmatoff, +at school. We considered him an aristocrat; at all events I +called him one. He used to dress smartly, and always drove to +school in a private trap. He was a good companion, and was always +merry and jolly, sometimes even witty, though he was not very +intellectual, in spite of the fact that he was always top of the +class; I myself was never top in anything! All his companions +were very fond of him, excepting myself. He had several times +during those years come up to me and tried to make friends; but I +had always turned sulkily away and refused to have anything to do +with him. I had not seen him for a whole year now; he was at the +university. When, at nine o'clock, or so, this evening, I arrived +and was shown up to him with great ceremony, he first received me +with astonishment, and not too affably, but he soon cheered up, +and suddenly gazed intently at me and burst out laughing. + +"'Why, what on earth can have possessed you to come and see ME, +Terentieff?' he cried, with his usual pleasant, sometimes +audacious, but never offensive familiarity, which I liked in +reality, but for which I also detested him. 'Why what's the +matter?' he cried in alarm. 'Are you ill?' + +"That confounded cough of mine had come on again; I fell into a +chair, and with difficulty recovered my breath. 'It's all right, +it's only consumption' I said. 'I have come to you with a +petition!' + +"He sat down in amazement, and I lost no time in telling him the +medical man's history; and explained that he, with the influence +which he possessed over his uncle, might do some good to the poor +fellow. + +"'I'll do it--I'll do it, of course!' he said. 'I shall attack my +uncle about it tomorrow morning, and I'm very glad you told me +the story. But how was it that you thought of coming to me about +it, Terentieff?' + +"'So much depends upon your uncle,' I said. 'And besides we have +always been enemies, Bachmatoff; and as you are a generous sort +of fellow, I thought you would not refuse my request because I +was your enemy!' I added with irony. + +"'Like Napoleon going to England, eh?' cried he, laughing. 'I'll +do it though--of course, and at once, if I can!' he added, seeing +that I rose seriously from my chair at this point. + +"And sure enough the matter ended as satisfactorily as possible. +A month or so later my medical friend was appointed to another +post. He got his travelling expenses paid, and something to help +him to start life with once more. I think Bachmatoff must have +persuaded the doctor to accept a loan from himself. I saw +Bachmatoff two or three times, about this period, the third time +being when he gave a farewell dinner to the doctor and his wife +before their departure, a champagne dinner. + +"Bachmatoff saw me home after the dinner and we crossed the +Nicolai bridge. We were both a little drunk. He told me of his +joy, the joyful feeling of having done a good action; he said +that it was all thanks to myself that he could feel this +satisfaction; and held forth about the foolishness of the theory +that individual charity is useless + +"I, too, was burning to have my say! + +"'In Moscow,' I said, 'there was an old state counsellor, a civil +general, who, all his life, had been in the habit of visiting the +prisons and speaking to criminals. Every party of convicts on its +way to Siberia knew beforehand that on the Vorobeef Hills the +"old general" would pay them a visit. He did all he undertook +seriously and devotedly. He would walk down the rows of the +unfortunate prisoners, stop before each individual and ask after +his needs--he never sermonized them; he spoke kindly to them--he gave +them money; he brought them all sorts of necessaries for the +journey, and gave them devotional books, choosing those who could +read, under the firm conviction that they would read to those who +could not, as they went along. + +"'He scarcely ever talked about the particular crimes of any of +them, but listened if any volunteered information on that point. +All the convicts were equal for him, and he made no distinction. +He spoke to all as to brothers, and every one of them looked upon +him as a father. When he observed among the exiles some poor +woman with a child, he would always come forward and fondle the +little one, and make it laugh. He continued these acts of mercy +up to his very death; and by that time all the criminals, all +over Russia and Siberia, knew him! + +"'A man I knew who had been to Siberia and returned, told me that +he himself had been a witness of how the very most hardened +criminals remembered the old general, though, in point of fact, +he could never, of course, have distributed more than a few pence +to each member of a party. Their recollection of him was not +sentimental or particularly devoted. Some wretch, for instance, +who had been a murderer--cutting the throat of a dozen fellow- +creatures, for instance; or stabbing six little children for his +own amusement (there have been such men!)--would perhaps, without +rhyme or reason, suddenly give a sigh and say, "I wonder whether +that old general is alive still!" Although perhaps he had not +thought of mentioning him for a dozen years before! How can one +say what seed of good may have been dropped into his soul, never +to die?' + +"I continued in that strain for a long while, pointing out to +Bachmatoff how impossible it is to follow up the effects of any +isolated good deed one may do, in all its influences and subtle +workings upon the heart and after-actions of others. + +"'And to think that you are to be cut off from life!' remarked +Bachmatoff, in a tone of reproach, as though he would like to +find someone to pitch into on my account. + +"We were leaning over the balustrade of the bridge, looking into +the Neva at this moment. + +"'Do you know what has suddenly come into my head?' said I, +suddenly--leaning further and further over the rail. + +"'Surely not to throw yourself into the river?' cried Bachmatoff +in alarm. Perhaps he read my thought in my face. + +"'No, not yet. At present nothing but the following +consideration. You see I have some two or three months left me to +live--perhaps four; well, supposing that when I have but a month +or two more, I take a fancy for some "good deed" that needs both +trouble and time, like this business of our doctor friend, for +instance: why, I shall have to give up the idea of it and take to +something else--some LITTLE good deed, MORE WITHIN MY MEANS, eh? +Isn't that an amusing idea!' + +"Poor Bachmatoff was much impressed--painfully so. He took me all +the way home; not attempting to console me, but behaving with the +greatest delicacy. On taking leave he pressed my hand warmly and +asked permission to come and see me. I replied that if he came to +me as a 'comforter,' so to speak (for he would be in that +capacity whether he spoke to me in a soothing manner or only kept +silence, as I pointed out to him), he would but remind me each +time of my approaching death! He shrugged his shoulders, but +quite agreed with me; and we parted better friends than I had +expected. + +"But that evening and that night were sown the first seeds of my +'last conviction.' I seized greedily on my new idea; I thirstily +drank in all its different aspects (I did not sleep a wink that +night!), and the deeper I went into it the more my being seemed +to merge itself in it, and the more alarmed I became. A dreadful +terror came over me at last, and did not leave me all next day. + +"Sometimes, thinking over this, I became quite numb with the +terror of it; and I might well have deduced from this fact, that +my 'last conviction' was eating into my being too fast and too +seriously, and would undoubtedly come to its climax before long. +And for the climax I needed greater determination than I yet +possessed. + +"However, within three weeks my determination was taken, owing to +a very strange circumstance. + +"Here on my paper, I make a note of all the figures and dates +that come into my explanation. Of course, it is all the same to +me, but just now--and perhaps only at this moment--I desire that +all those who are to judge of my action should see clearly out of +how logical a sequence of deductions has at length proceeded my +'last conviction.' + +"I have said above that the determination needed by me for the +accomplishment of my final resolve, came to hand not through any +sequence of causes, but thanks to a certain strange circumstance +which had perhaps no connection whatever with the matter at +issue. Ten days ago Rogojin called upon me about certain business +of his own with which I have nothing to do at present. I had +never seen Rogojin before, but had often heard about him. + +"I gave him all the information he needed, and he very soon took +his departure; so that, since he only came for the purpose of +gaining the information, the matter might have been expected to +end there. + +"But he interested me too much, and all that day I was under the +influence of strange thoughts connected with him, and I +determined to return his visit the next day. + +"Rogojin was evidently by no means pleased to see me, and hinted, +delicately, that he saw no reason why our acquaintance should +continue. For all that, however, I spent a very interesting hour, +and so, I dare say, did he. There was so great a contrast between +us that I am sure we must both have felt it; anyhow, I felt it +acutely. Here was I, with my days numbered, and he, a man in the +full vigour of life, living in the present, without the slightest +thought for 'final convictions,' or numbers, or days, or, in +fact, for anything but that which-which--well, which he was mad +about, if he will excuse me the expression--as a feeble author who +cannot express his ideas properly. + +"In spite of his lack of amiability, I could not help seeing, in +Rogojin a man of intellect and sense; and although, perhaps, +there was little in the outside world which was of. interest to +him, still he was clearly a man with eyes to see. + +"I hinted nothing to him about my 'final conviction,' but it +appeared to me that he had guessed it from my words. He remained +silent--he is a terribly silent man. I remarked to him, as I rose +to depart, that, in spite of the contrast and the wide +differences between us two, les extremites se touchent ('extremes +meet,' as I explained to him in Russian); so that maybe he was +not so far from my final conviction as appeared. + +"His only reply to this was a sour grimace. He rose and looked +for my cap, and placed it in my hand, and led me out of the +house--that dreadful gloomy house of his--to all appearances, of +course, as though I were leaving of my own accord, and he were +simply seeing me to the door out of politeness. His house +impressed me much; it is like a burial-ground, he seems to like +it, which is, however, quite natural. Such a full life as he +leads is so overflowing with absorbing interests that he has +little need of assistance from his surroundings. + +"The visit to Rogojin exhausted me terribly. Besides, I had felt +ill since the morning; and by evening I was so weak that I took +to my bed, and was in high fever at intervals, and even +delirious. Colia sat with me until eleven o'clock. + +"Yet I remember all he talked about, and every word we said, +though whenever my eyes closed for a moment I could picture +nothing but the image of Surikoff just in the act of finding a +million roubles. He could not make up his mind what to do with +the money, and tore his hair over it. He trembled with fear that +somebody would rob him, and at last he decided to bury it in the +ground. I persuaded him that, instead of putting it all away +uselessly underground, he had better melt it down and make a +golden coffin out of it for his starved child, and then dig up +the little one and put her into the golden coffin. Surikoff +accepted this suggestion, I thought, with tears of gratitude, and +immediately commenced to carry out my design. + +"I thought I spat on the ground and left him in disgust. Colia +told me, when I quite recovered my senses, that I had not been +asleep for a moment, but that I had spoken to him about Surikoff +the whole while. + +"At moments I was in a state of dreadful weakness and misery, so +that Colia was greatly disturbed when he left me. + +"When I arose to lock the door after him, I suddenly called to +mind a picture I had noticed at Rogojin's in one of his gloomiest +rooms, over the door. He had pointed it out to me himself as we +walked past it, and I believe I must have stood a good five +minutes in front of it. There was nothing artistic about it, but +the picture made me feel strangely uncomfortable. It represented +Christ just taken down from the cross. It seems to me that +painters as a rule represent the Saviour, both on the cross and +taken down from it, with great beauty still upon His face. This +marvellous beauty they strive to preserve even in His moments of +deepest agony and passion. But there was no such beauty in +Rogojin's picture. This was the presentment of a poor mangled +body which had evidently suffered unbearable anguish even before +its crucifixion, full of wounds and bruises, marks of the +violence of soldiers and people, and of the bitterness of the +moment when He had fallen with the cross--all this combined with +the anguish of the actual crucifixion. + +"The face was depicted as though still suffering; as though the +body, only just dead, was still almost quivering with agony. The +picture was one of pure nature, for the face was not beautified +by the artist, but was left as it would naturally be, whosoever +the sufferer, after such anguish. + +"I know that the earliest Christian faith taught that the Saviour +suffered actually and not figuratively, and that nature was +allowed her own way even while His body was on the cross. + +"It is strange to look on this dreadful picture of the mangled +corpse of the Saviour, and to put this question to oneself: +'Supposing that the disciples, the future apostles, the women who +had followed Him and stood by the cross, all of whom believed in +and worshipped Him--supposing that they saw this tortured body, +this face so mangled and bleeding and bruised (and they MUST have +so seen it)--how could they have gazed upon the dreadful sight +and yet have believed that He would rise again?' + +"The thought steps in, whether one likes it or no, that death is +so terrible and so powerful, that even He who conquered it in His +miracles during life was unable to triumph over it at the last. +He who called to Lazarus, 'Lazarus, come forth!' and the dead +man lived--He was now Himself a prey to nature and death. Nature +appears to one, looking at this picture, as some huge, +implacable, dumb monster; or still better--a stranger simile--some +enormous mechanical engine of modern days which has seized and +crushed and swallowed up a great and invaluable Being, a Being +worth nature and all her laws, worth the whole earth, which was +perhaps created merely for the sake of the advent of that Being. + +"This blind, dumb, implacable, eternal, unreasoning force is well +shown in the picture, and the absolute subordination of all men +and things to it is so well expressed that the idea unconsciously +arises in the mind of anyone who looks at it. All those faithful +people who were gazing at the cross and its mutilated occupant +must have suffered agony of mind that evening; for they must have +felt that all their hopes and almost all their faith had been +shattered at a blow. They must have separated in terror and dread that +night, though each perhaps carried away with him one great +thought which was never eradicated from his mind for ever +afterwards. If this great Teacher of theirs could have seen +Himself after the Crucifixion, how could He have consented to +mount the Cross and to die as He did? This thought also comes +into the mind of the man who gazes at this picture. I thought of +all this by snatches probably between my attacks of delirium--for +an hour and a half or so before Colia's departure. + +"Can there be an appearance of that which has no form? And yet it +seemed to me, at certain moments, that I beheld in some strange +and impossible form, that dark, dumb, irresistibly powerful, +eternal force. + +"I thought someone led me by the hand and showed me, by the light +of a candle, a huge, loathsome insect, which he assured me was +that very force, that very almighty, dumb, irresistible Power, +and laughed at the indignation with which I received this +information. In my room they always light the little lamp before +my icon for the night; it gives a feeble flicker of light, but it +is strong enough to see by dimly, and if you sit just under it +you can even read by it. I think it was about twelve or a little +past that night. I had not slept a wink, and was lying with my +eyes wide open, when suddenly the door opened, and in came +Rogojin. + +"He entered, and shut the door behind him. Then he silently gazed +at me and went quickly to the corner of the room where the lamp +was burning and sat down underneath it. + +"I was much surprised, and looked at him expectantly. + +"Rogojin only leaned his elbow on the table and silently stared +at me. So passed two or three minutes, and I recollect that his +silence hurt and offended me very much. Why did he not speak? + +"That his arrival at this time of night struck me as more or less +strange may possibly be the case; but I remember I was by no +means amazed at it. On the contrary, though I had not actually +told him my thought in the morning, yet I know he understood it; +and this thought was of such a character that it would not be +anything very remarkable, if one were to come for further talk +about it at any hour of night, however late. + +"I thought he must have come for this purpose. + +"In the morning we had parted not the best of friends; I remember +he looked at me with disagreeable sarcasm once or twice; and this +same look I observed in his eyes now--which was the cause of the +annoyance I felt. + +"I did not for a moment suspect that I was delirious and that +this Rogojin was but the result of fever and excitement. I had +not the slightest idea of such a theory at first. + +"Meanwhile he continued to sit and stare jeeringly at me. + +"I angrily turned round in bed and made up my mind that I would +not say a word unless he did; so I rested silently on my pillow +determined to remain dumb, if it were to last till morning. I +felt resolved that he should speak first. Probably twenty minutes +or so passed in this way. Suddenly the idea struck me--what if +this is an apparition and not Rogojin himself? + +"Neither during my illness nor at any previous time had I ever +seen an apparition;--but I had always thought, both when I was a +little boy, and even now, that if I were to see one I should die +on the spot--though I don't believe in ghosts. And yet NOW, when +the idea struck me that this was a ghost and not Rogojin at all, +I was not in the least alarmed. Nay--the thought actually +irritated me. Strangely enough, the decision of the question as +to whether this were a ghost or Rogojin did not, for some reason +or other, interest me nearly so much as it ought to have done;--I +think I began to muse about something altogether different. For +instance, I began to wonder why Rogojin, who had been in +dressing--gown and slippers when I saw him at home, had now put on +a dress-coat and white waistcoat and tie? I also thought to +myself, I remember--'if this is a ghost, and I am not afraid of +it, why don't I approach it and verify my suspicions? Perhaps I +am afraid--' And no sooner did this last idea enter my head than +an icy blast blew over me; I felt a chill down my backbone and my +knees shook. + +"At this very moment, as though divining my thoughts, Rogojin +raised his head from his arm and began to part his lips as though +he were going to laugh--but he continued to stare at me as +persistently as before. + +"I felt so furious with him at this moment that I longed to rush +at him; but as I had sworn that he should speak first, I +continued to lie still--and the more willingly, as I was still by +no means satisfied as to whether it really was Rogojin or not. + +"I cannot remember how long this lasted; I cannot recollect, +either, whether consciousness forsook me at intervals, or not. +But at last Rogojin rose, staring at me as intently as ever, but +not smiling any longer,--and walking very softly, almost on tip- +toes, to the door, he opened it, went out, and shut it behind +him. + +"I did not rise from my bed, and I don't know how long I lay with +my eyes open, thinking. I don't know what I thought about, nor +how I fell asleep or became insensible; but I awoke next morning +after nine o'clock when they knocked at my door. My general +orders are that if I don't open the door and call, by nine +o'clock, Matreona is to come and bring my tea. When I now opened +the door to her, the thought suddenly struck me--how could he have +come in, since the door was locked? I made inquiries and found +that Rogojin himself could not possibly have come in, because all +our doors were locked for the night. + +"Well, this strange circumstance--which I have described with so +much detail--was the ultimate cause which led me to taking my +final determination. So that no logic, or logical deductions, had +anything to do with my resolve;--it was simply a matter of +disgust. + +"It was impossible for me to go on living when life was full of +such detestable, strange, tormenting forms. This ghost had +humiliated me;--nor could I bear to be subordinate to that dark, +horrible force which was embodied in the form of the loathsome +insect. It was only towards evening, when I had quite made up my +mind on this point, that I began to feel easier. + +VII. + +"I HAD a small pocket pistol. I had procured it while still a +boy, at that droll age when the stories of duels and highwaymen +begin to delight one, and when one imagines oneself nobly +standing fire at some future day, in a duel. + +"There were a couple of old bullets in the bag which contained +the pistol, and powder enough in an old flask for two or three +charges. + +"The pistol was a wretched thing, very crooked and wouldn't carry +farther than fifteen paces at the most. However, it would send +your skull flying well enough if you pressed the muzzle of it +against your temple. + +"I determined to die at Pavlofsk at sunrise, in the park--so as +to make no commotion in the house. + +"This 'explanation' will make the matter clear enough to the +police. Students of psychology, and anyone else who likes, may +make what they please of it. I should not like this paper, +however, to be made public. I request the prince to keep a copy +himself, and to give a copy to Aglaya Ivanovna Epanchin. This is +my last will and testament. As for my skeleton, I bequeath it to +the Medical Academy for the benefit of science. + +"I recognize no jurisdiction over myself, and I know that I am +now beyond the power of laws and judges. + +"A little while ago a very amusing idea struck me. What if I were +now to commit some terrible crime--murder ten fellow-creatures, +for instance, or anything else that is thought most shocking and +dreadful in this world--what a dilemma my judges would be in, +with a criminal who only has a fortnight to live in any case, now +that the rack and other forms of torture are abolished! Why, I +should die comfortably in their own hospital--in a warm, clean +room, with an attentive doctor--probably much more comfortably +than I should at home. + +"I don't understand why people in my position do not oftener +indulge in such ideas--if only for a joke! Perhaps they do! Who +knows! There are plenty of merry souls among us! + +"But though I do not recognize any jurisdiction over myself, +still I know that I shall be judged, when I am nothing but a +voiceless lump of clay; therefore I do not wish to go before I +have left a word of reply--the reply of a free man--not one +forced to justify himself--oh no! I have no need to ask +forgiveness of anyone. I wish to say a word merely because I +happen to desire it of my own free will. + +"Here, in the first place, comes a strange thought! + +"Who, in the name of what Law, would think of disputing my full +personal right over the fortnight of life left to me? What +jurisdiction can be brought to bear upon the case? Who would wish +me, not only to be sentenced, but to endure the sentence to the +end? Surely there exists no man who would wish such a thing--why +should anyone desire it? For the sake of morality? Well, I can +understand that if I were to make an attempt upon my own life +while in the enjoyment of full health and vigour--my life which +might have been 'useful,' etc., etc.--morality might reproach me, +according to the old routine, for disposing of my life without +permission--or whatever its tenet may be. But now, NOW, when my +sentence is out and my days numbered! How can morality have need +of my last breaths, and why should I die listening to the +consolations offered by the prince, who, without doubt, would not +omit to demonstrate that death is actually a benefactor to me? +(Christians like him always end up with that--it is their pet +theory.) And what do they want with their ridiculous 'Pavlofsk +trees'? To sweeten my last hours? Cannot they understand that the +more I forget myself, the more I let myself become attached to +these last illusions of life and love, by means of which they try +to hide from me Meyer's wall, and all that is so plainly written +on it--the more unhappy they make me? What is the use of all your +nature to me--all your parks and trees, your sunsets and +sunrises, your blue skies and your self-satisfied faces--when all +this wealth of beauty and happiness begins with the fact that it +accounts me--only me--one too many! What is the good of all this +beauty and glory to me, when every second, every moment, I cannot +but be aware that this little fly which buzzes around my head in +the sun's rays--even this little fly is a sharer and participator +in all the glory of the universe, and knows its place and is +happy in it;--while I--only I, am an outcast, and have been blind +to the fact hitherto, thanks to my simplicity! Oh! I know well +how the prince and others would like me, instead of indulging in +all these wicked words of my own, to sing, to the glory and +triumph of morality, that well-known verse of Gilbert's: + +"'0, puissent voir longtemps votre beaute sacree +Tant d'amis, sourds a mes adieux! +Qu'ils meurent pleins de jours, que leur mort soit pleuree, +Qu'un ami leur ferme les yeux!' + +"But believe me, believe me, my simple-hearted friends, that in +this highly moral verse, in this academical blessing to the world +in general in the French language, is hidden the intensest gall +and bitterness; but so well concealed is the venom, that I dare +say the poet actually persuaded himself that his words were full +of the tears of pardon and peace, instead of the bitterness of +disappointment and malice, and so died in the delusion. + +"Do you know there is a limit of ignominy, beyond which man's +consciousness of shame cannot go, and after which begins +satisfaction in shame? Well, of course humility is a great force +in that sense, I admit that--though not in the sense in which +religion accounts humility to be strength! + +"Religion!--I admit eternal life--and perhaps I always did admit +it. + +"Admitted that consciousness is called into existence by the will +of a Higher Power; admitted that this consciousness looks out +upon the world and says 'I am;' and admitted that the Higher +Power wills that the consciousness so called into existence, be +suddenly extinguished (for so--for some unexplained reason--it is +and must be)--still there comes the eternal question--why must I +be humble through all this? Is it not enough that I am devoured, +without my being expected to bless the power that devours me? +Surely--surely I need not suppose that Somebody--there--will be +offended because I do not wish to live out the fortnight allowed +me? I don't believe it. + +"It is much simpler, and far more likely, to believe that my +death is needed--the death of an insignificant atom--in order to +fulfil the general harmony of the universe--in order to make even +some plus or minus in the sum of existence. Just as every day the +death of numbers of beings is necessary because without their +annihilation the rest cannot live on--(although we must admit +that the idea is not a particularly grand one in itself!) + +"However--admit the fact! Admit that without such perpetual +devouring of one another the world cannot continue to exist, or +could never have been organized--I am ever ready to confess that +I cannot understand why this is so--but I'll tell you what I DO +know, for certain. If I have once been given to understand and +realize that I AM--what does it matter to me that the world is +organized on a system full of errors and that otherwise it cannot +be organized at all? Who will or can judge me after this? Say +what you like--the thing is impossible and unjust! + +"And meanwhile I have never been able, in spite of my great +desire to do so, to persuade myself that there is no future +existence, and no Providence. + +"The fact of the matter is that all this DOES exist, but that we +know absolutely nothing about the future life and its laws! + +"But it is so difficult, and even impossible to understand, that +surely I am not to be blamed because I could not fathom the +incomprehensible? + +"Of course I know they say that one must be obedient, and of +course, too, the prince is one of those who say so: that one must +be obedient without questions, out of pure goodness of heart, and +that for my worthy conduct in this matter I shall meet with +reward in another world. We degrade God when we attribute our own +ideas to Him, out of annoyance that we cannot fathom His ways. + +"Again, I repeat, I cannot be blamed because I am unable to +understand that which it is not given to mankind to fathom. Why +am I to be judged because I could not comprehend the Will and +Laws of Providence? No, we had better drop religion. + +"And enough of this. By the time I have got so far in the reading +of my document the sun will be up and the huge force of his rays +will be acting upon the living world. So be it. I shall die +gazing straight at the great Fountain of life and power; I do not +want this life! + +"If I had had the power to prevent my own birth I should +certainly never have consented to accept existence under such +ridiculous conditions. However, I have the power to end my +existence, although I do but give back days that are already +numbered. It is an insignificant gift, and my revolt is equally +insignificant. + +"Final explanation: I die, not in the least because I am unable +to support these next three weeks. Oh no, I should find strength +enough, and if I wished it I could obtain consolation from the +thought of the injury that is done me. But I am not a French +poet, and I do not desire such consolation. And finally, nature +has so limited my capacity for work or activity of any kind, in +allotting me but three weeks of time, that suicide is about the +only thing left that I can begin and end in the time of my own +free will. + +"Perhaps then I am anxious to take advantage of my last chance of +doing something for myself. A protest is sometimes no small +thing." + +The explanation was finished; Hippolyte paused at last. + +There is, in extreme cases, a final stage of cynical candour when +a nervous man, excited, and beside himself with emotion, will be +afraid of nothing and ready for any sort of scandal, nay, glad of +it. The extraordinary, almost unnatural, tension of the nerves +which upheld Hippolyte up to this point, had now arrived at this +final stage. This poor feeble boy of eighteen--exhausted by +disease--looked for all the world as weak and frail as a leaflet +torn from its parent tree and trembling in the breeze; but no +sooner had his eye swept over his audience, for the first time +during the whole of the last hour, than the most contemptuous, +the most haughty expression of repugnance lighted up his face. He +defied them all, as it were. But his hearers were indignant, too; +they rose to their feet with annoyance. Fatigue, the wine +consumed, the strain of listening so long, all added to the +disagreeable impression which the reading had made upon them. + +Suddenly Hippolyte jumped up as though he had been shot. + +"The sun is rising," he cried, seeing the gilded tops of the +trees, and pointing to them as to a miracle. "See, it is rising +now!" + +"Well, what then? Did you suppose it wasn't going to rise?" asked +Ferdishenko. + +"It's going to be atrociously hot again all day," said Gania, +with an air of annoyance, taking his hat. "A month of this... Are +you coming home, Ptitsin?" Hippolyte listened to this in +amazement, almost amounting to stupefaction. Suddenly he became +deadly pale and shuddered. + +"You manage your composure too awkwardly. I see you wish to +insult me," he cried to Gania. "You--you are a cur!" He looked at +Gania with an expression of malice. + +"What on earth is the matter with the boy? What phenomenal +feeble-mindedness!" exclaimed Ferdishenko. + +"Oh, he's simply a fool," said Gania. + +Hippolyte braced himself up a little. + +"I understand, gentlemen," he began, trembling as before, and +stumbling over every word," that I have deserved your resentment, +and--and am sorry that I should have troubled you with this +raving nonsense" (pointing to his article),"or rather, I am sorry +that I have not troubled you enough." He smiled feebly. "Have I +troubled you, Evgenie Pavlovitch?" He suddenly turned on Evgenie +with this question. "Tell me now, have I troubled you or not?" + +"Well, it was a little drawn out, perhaps; but--" + +"Come, speak out! Don't lie, for once in your life--speak out!" +continued Hippolyte, quivering with agitation. + +"Oh, my good sir, I assure you it's entirely the same to me. +Please leave me in peace," said Evgenie, angrily, turning his +back on him. + +"Good-night, prince," said Ptitsin, approaching his host. + +"What are you thinking of? Don't go, he'll blow his brains out in +a minute!" cried Vera Lebedeff, rushing up to Hippolyte and +catching hold of his hands in a torment of alarm. "What are you +thinking of? He said he would blow his brains out at sunrise." + +"Oh, he won't shoot himself!" cried several voices, +sarcastically. + +"Gentlemen, you'd better look out," cried Colia, also seizing +Hippolyte by the hand. "Just look at him! Prince, what are you +thinking of?" Vera and Colia, and Keller, and Burdovsky were all +crowding round Hippolyte now and holding him down. + +"He has the right--the right--"-murmured Burdovsky. "Excuse me, +prince, but what are your arrangements?" asked Lebedeff, tipsy +and exasperated, going up to Muishkin. + +"What do you mean by 'arrangements'?" + +"No, no, excuse me! I'm master of this house, though I do not +wish to lack respect towards you. You are master of the house +too, in a way; but I can't allow this sort of thing--" + +"He won't shoot himself; the boy is only playing the fool," said +General Ivolgin, suddenly and unexpectedly, with indignation. + +"I know he won't, I know he won't, general; but I--I'm master +here!" + +"Listen, Mr. Terentieff," said Ptitsin, who had bidden the prince +good-night, and was now holding out his hand to Hippolyte; "I +think you remark in that manuscript of yours, that you bequeath +your skeleton to the Academy. Are you referring to your own +skeleton--I mean, your very bones?" + +"Yes, my bones, I--" + +"Quite so, I see; because, you know, little mistakes have +occurred now and then. There was a case--" + +Why do you tease him?" cried the prince, suddenly. + +"You've moved him to tears," added Ferdishenko. But Hippolyte was +by no means weeping. He was about to move from his place, when +his four guards rushed at him and seized him once more. There was +a laugh at this. + +"He led up to this on purpose. He took the trouble of writing all +that so that people should come and grab him by the arm," +observed Rogojin. "Good-night, prince. What a time we've sat +here, my very bones ache!" + +"If you really intended to shoot yourself, Terentieff," said +Evgenie Pavlovitch, laughing, "if I were you, after all these +compliments, I should just not shoot myself in order to vex them +all." + +"They are very anxious to see me blow my brains out," said +Hippolyte, bitterly. + +"Yes, they'll be awfully annoyed if they don't see it." + +"Then you think they won't see it?" + +"I am not trying to egg you on. On the contrary, I think it very +likely that you may shoot yourself; but the principal thing is to +keep cool," said Evgenie with a drawl, and with great +condescension. + +"I only now perceive what a terrible mistake I made in reading +this article to them," said Hippolyte, suddenly, addressing +Evgenie, and looking at him with an expression of trust and +confidence, as though he were applying to a friend for counsel. + +"Yes, it's a droll situation; I really don't know what advice to +give you," replied Evgenie, laughing. Hippolyte gazed steadfastly +at him, but said nothing. To look at him one might have supposed +that he was unconscious at intervals. + +"Excuse me," said Lebedeff, "but did you observe the young +gentleman's style? 'I'll go and blow my brains out in the park,' +says he,' so as not to disturb anyone.' He thinks he won't +disturb anybody if he goes three yards away, into the park, and +blows his brains out there." + +"Gentlemen--" began the prince. + +"No, no, excuse me, most revered prince," Lebedeff interrupted, +excitedly. "Since you must have observed yourself that this is no +joke, and since at least half your guests must also have +concluded that after all that has been said this youth MUST blow +his brains out for honour's sake--I--as master of this house, and +before these witnesses, now call upon you to take steps." + +"Yes, but what am I to do, Lebedeff? What steps am I to take? I +am ready." + +"I'll tell you. In the first place he must immediately deliver up +the pistol which he boasted of, with all its appurtenances. If he +does this I shall consent to his being allowed to spend the night +in this house--considering his feeble state of health, and of +course conditionally upon his being under proper supervision. But +tomorrow he must go elsewhere. Excuse me, prince! Should he +refuse to deliver up his weapon, then I shall instantly seize one +of his arms and General Ivolgin the other, and we shall hold him +until the police arrive and take the matter into their own hands. +Mr. Ferdishenko will kindly fetch them." + +At this there was a dreadful noise; Lebedeff danced about in his +excitement; Ferdishenko prepared to go for the police; Gania +frantically insisted that it was all nonsense, "for nobody was +going to shoot themselves." Evgenie Pavlovitch said nothing. + +"Prince," whispered Hippolyte, suddenly, his eyes all ablaze, +"you don't suppose that I did not foresee all this hatred?" He +looked at the prince as though he expected him to reply, for a +moment. "Enough!" he added at length, and addressing the whole +company, he cried: "It's all my fault, gentlemen! Lebedeff, +here's the key," (he took out a small bunch of keys); "this one, +the last but one--Colia will show you--Colia, where's Colia?" he +cried, looking straight at Colia and not seeing him. "Yes, he'll +show you; he packed the bag with me this morning. Take him up, +Colia; my bag is upstairs in the prince's study, under the table. +Here's the key, and in the little case you'll find my pistol and +the powder, and all. Colia packed it himself, Mr. Lebedeff; he'll +show you; but it's on condition that tomorrow morning, when I +leave for Petersburg, you will give me back my pistol, do you +hear? I do this for the prince's sake, not yours." + +"Capital, that's much better!" cried Lebedeff, and seizing the +key he made off in haste. + +Colia stopped a moment as though he wished to say something; but +Lebedeff dragged him away. + +Hippolyte looked around at the laughing guests. The prince +observed that his teeth were chattering as though in a violent +attack of ague. + +"What brutes they all are!" he whispered to the prince. Whenever +he addressed him he lowered his voice. + +"Let them alone, you're too weak now--" + +Yes, directly; I'll go away directly. I'll--" + +Suddenly he embraced Muishkin. + +"Perhaps you think I am mad, eh?" he asked him, laughing very +strangely. + +"No, but you--" + +"Directly, directly! Stand still a moment, I wish to look in your +eyes; don't speak--stand so--let me look at you! I am bidding +farewell to mankind." + +He stood so for ten seconds, gazing at the prince, motionless, +deadly pale, his temples wet with perspiration; he held the +prince's hand in a strange grip, as though afraid to let him go. + +"Hippolyte, Hippolyte, what is the matter with you?" cried +Muishkin. + +"Directly! There, that's enough. I'll lie down directly. I must +drink to the sun's health. I wish to--I insist upon it! Let go!" + +He seized a glass from the table, broke away from the prince, and +in a moment had reached the terrace steps. + +The prince made after him, but it so happened that at this moment +Evgenie Pavlovitch stretched out his hand to say good-night. The +next instant there was a general outcry, and then followed a few +moments of indescribable excitement. + +Reaching the steps, Hippolyte had paused, holding the glass in +his left hand while he put his right hand into his coat pocket. + +Keller insisted afterwards that he had held his right hand in his +pocket all the while, when he was speaking to the prince, and +that he had held the latter's shoulder with his left hand only. +This circumstance, Keller affirmed, had led him to feel some +suspicion from the first. However this may be, Keller ran after +Hippolyte, but he was too late. + +He caught sight of something flashing in Hippolyte's right hand, +and saw that it was a pistol. He rushed at him, but at that very +instant Hippolyte raised the pistol to his temple and pulled the +trigger. There followed a sharp metallic click, but no report. + +When Keller seized the would-be suicide, the latter fell forward +into his arms, probably actually believing that he was shot. +Keller had hold of the pistol now. Hippolyte was immediately +placed in a chair, while the whole company thronged around +excitedly, talking and asking each other questions. Every one of +them had heard the snap of the trigger, and yet they saw a live +and apparently unharmed man before them. + +Hippolyte himself sat quite unconscious of what was going on, and +gazed around with a senseless expression. + +Lebedeff and Colia came rushing up at this moment. + +"What is it?" someone asked, breathlessly--"A misfire?" + +"Perhaps it wasn't loaded," said several voices. + +"It's loaded all right," said Keller, examining the pistol, "but--" + +"What! did it miss fire?" + +"There was no cap in it," Keller announced. + +It would be difficult to describe the pitiable scene that now +followed. The first sensation of alarm soon gave place to +amusement; some burst out laughing loud and heartily, and seemed +to find a malicious satisfaction in the joke. Poor Hippolyte +sobbed hysterically; he wrung his hands; he approached everyone +in turn--even Ferdishenko--and took them by both hands, and swore +solemnly that he had forgotten--absolutely forgotten-- +"accidentally, and not on purpose,"--to put a cap in--that he +"had ten of them, at least, in his pocket." He pulled them out +and showed them to everyone; he protested that he had not liked +to put one in beforehand for fear of an accidental explosion in +his pocket. That he had thought he would have lots of time to put +it in afterwards--when required--and, that, in the heat of the +moment, he had forgotten all about it. He threw himself upon the +prince, then on Evgenie Pavlovitch. He entreated Keller to give +him back the pistol, and he'd soon show them all that "his +honour--his honour,"--but he was "dishonoured, now, for ever!" + +He fell senseless at last--and was carried into the prince's +study. + +Lebedeff, now quite sobered down, sent for a doctor; and he and +his daughter, with Burdovsky and General Ivolgin, remained by the +sick man's couch. + +When he was carried away unconscious, Keller stood in the middle +of the room, and made the following declaration to the company in +general, in a loud tone of voice, with emphasis upon each word. + +"Gentlemen, if any one of you casts any doubt again, before me, +upon Hippolyte's good faith, or hints that the cap was forgotten +intentionally, or suggests that this unhappy boy was acting a +part before us, I beg to announce that the person so speaking +shall account to me for his words." + +No one replied. + +The company departed very quickly, in a mass. Ptitsin, Gania, and +Rogojin went away together. + +The prince was much astonished that Evgenie Pavlovitch changed +his mind, and took his departure without the conversation he had +requested. + +"Why, you wished to have a talk with me when the others left?" he +said. + +"Quite so," said Evgenie, sitting down suddenly beside him, "but +I have changed my mind for the time being. I confess, I am too +disturbed, and so, I think, are you; and the matter as to which I +wished to consult you is too serious to tackle with one's mind +even a little disturbed; too serious both for myself and for you. +You see, prince, for once in my life I wish to perform an +absolutely honest action, that is, an action with no ulterior +motive; and I think I am hardly in a condition to talk of it just +at this moment, and--and--well, we'll discuss it another time. +Perhaps the matter may gain in clearness if we wait for two or +three days--just the two or three days which I must spend in +Petersburg." + +Here he rose again from his chair, so that it seemed strange that +he should have thought it worth while to sit down at all. + +The prince thought, too, that he looked vexed and annoyed, and +not nearly so friendly towards himself as he had been earlier in +the night. + +"I suppose you will go to the sufferer's bedside now?" he added. + +"Yes, I am afraid..." began the prince. + +"Oh, you needn't fear! He'll live another six weeks all right. +Very likely he will recover altogether; but I strongly advise you +to pack him off tomorrow." + +"I think I may have offended him by saying nothing just now. I am +afraid he may suspect that I doubted his good faith,--about +shooting himself, you know. What do you think, Evgenie +Pavlovitch?" + +"Not a bit of it! You are much too good to him; you shouldn't +care a hang about what he thinks. I have heard of such things +before, but never came across, till tonight, a man who would +actually shoot himself in order to gain a vulgar notoriety, or +blow out his brains for spite, if he finds that people don't care +to pat him on the back for his sanguinary intentions. But what +astonishes me more than anything is the fellow's candid +confession of weakness. You'd better get rid of him tomorrow, in +any case. + +"Do you think he will make another attempt?" + +"Oh no, not he, not now! But you have to be very careful with +this sort of gentleman. Crime is too often the last resource of +these petty nonentities. This young fellow is quite capable of +cutting the throats of ten people, simply for a lark, as he told +us in his 'explanation.' I assure you those confounded words of +his will not let me sleep." + +"I think you disturb yourself too much." + +"What an extraordinary person you are, prince! Do you mean to say +that you doubt the fact that he is capable of murdering ten men?" + +"I daren't say, one way or the other; all this is very strange-- +but--" + +"Well, as you like, just as you like," said Evgenie Pavlovitch, +irritably. "Only you are such a plucky fellow, take care you +don't get included among the ten victims!" + +"Oh, he is much more likely not to kill anyone at all," said the +prince, gazing thoughtfully at Evgenie. The latter laughed +disagreeably. + +"Well, au revoir! Did you observe that he 'willed' a copy of his +confession to Aglaya Ivanovna?" + +"Yes, I did; I am thinking of it." + +"In connection with 'the ten,' eh?" laughed Evgenie, as he left +the room. + +An hour later, towards four o'clock, the prince went into the +park. He had endeavoured to fall asleep, but could not, owing to +the painful beating of his heart. + +He had left things quiet and peaceful; the invalid was fast +asleep, and the doctor, who had been called in, had stated that +there was no special danger. Lebedeff, Colia, and Burdovsky were +lying down in the sick-room, ready to take it in turns to watch. +There was nothing to fear, therefore, at home. + +But the prince's mental perturbation increased every moment. He +wandered about the park, looking absently around him, and paused +in astonishment when he suddenly found himself in the empty space +with the rows of chairs round it, near the Vauxhall. The look of +the place struck him as dreadful now: so he turned round and went +by the path which he had followed with the Epanchins on the way +to the band, until he reached the green bench which Aglaya had +pointed out for their rendezvous. He sat down on it and suddenly +burst into a loud fit of laughter, immediately followed by a +feeling of irritation. His disturbance of mind continued; he felt +that he must go away somewhere, anywhere. + +Above his head some little bird sang out, of a sudden; he began +to peer about for it among the leaves. Suddenly the bird darted +out of the tree and away, and instantly he thought of the "fly +buzzing about in the sun's rays" that Hippolyte had talked of; +how that it knew its place and was a participator in the +universal life, while he alone was an "outcast." This picture had +impressed him at the time, and he meditated upon it now. An old, +forgotten memory awoke in his brain, and suddenly burst into +clearness and light. It was a recollection of Switzerland, during +the first year of his cure, the very first months. At that time +he had been pretty nearly an idiot still; he could not speak +properly, and had difficulty in understanding when others spoke +to him. He climbed the mountain-side, one sunny morning, and +wandered long and aimlessly with a certain thought in his brain, +which would not become clear. Above him was the blazing sky, +below, the lake; all around was the horizon, clear and infinite. +He looked out upon this, long and anxiously. He remembered how he +had stretched out his arms towards the beautiful, boundless blue +of the horizon, and wept, and wept. What had so tormented him was +the idea that he was a stranger to all this, that he was outside +this glorious festival. + +What was this universe? What was this grand, eternal pageant to +which he had yearned from his childhood up, and in which he could +never take part? Every morning the same magnificent sun; every +morning the same rainbow in the waterfall; every evening the same +glow on the snow-mountains. + +Every little fly that buzzed in the sun's rays was a singer in +the universal chorus, "knew its place, and was happy in it. +"Every blade of grass grew and was happy. Everything knew its +path and loved it, went forth with a song and returned with a +song; only he knew nothing, understood nothing, neither men nor +words, nor any of nature's voices; he was a stranger and an +outcast. + +Oh, he could not then speak these words, or express all he felt! +He had been tormented dumbly; but now it appeared to him that he +must have said these very words--even then--and that Hippolyte +must have taken his picture of the little fly from his tears and +words of that time. + +He was sure of it, and his heart beat excitedly at the thought, +he knew not why. + +He fell asleep on the bench; but his mental disquiet continued +through his slumbers. + +Just before he dozed off, the idea of Hippolyte murdering ten men +flitted through his brain, and he smiled at the absurdity of such +a thought. + +Around him all was quiet; only the flutter and whisper of the +leaves broke the silence, but broke it only to cause it to appear +yet more deep and still. + +He dreamed many dreams as he sat there, and all were full of +disquiet, so that he shuddered every moment. + +At length a woman seemed to approach him. He knew her, oh! he +knew her only too well. He could always name her and recognize her +anywhere; but, strange, she seemed to have quite a different face +from hers, as he had known it, and he felt a tormenting desire to +be able to say she was not the same woman. In the face before him +there was such dreadful remorse and horror that he thought she +must be a criminal, that she must have just committed some awful +crime. + +Tears were trembling on her white cheek. She beckoned him, but +placed her finger on her lip as though to warn him that he must +follow her very quietly. His heart froze within him. He wouldn't, +he COULDN'T confess her to be a criminal, and yet he felt that +something dreadful would happen the next moment, something which +would blast his whole life. + +She seemed to wish to show him something, not far off, in the +park. + +He rose from his seat in order to follow her, when a bright, +clear peal of laughter rang out by his side. He felt somebody's +hand suddenly in his own, seized it, pressed it hard, and awoke. +Before him stood Aglaya, laughing aloud. + +VIII. + +SHE laughed, but she was rather angry too. + +"He's asleep! You were asleep," she said, with contemptuous +surprise. + +"Is it really you?" muttered the prince, not quite himself as +yet, and recognizing her with a start of amazement. "Oh yes, of +course," he added, "this is our rendezvous. I fell asleep here." + +"So I saw." + +"Did no one awake me besides yourself? Was there no one else +here? I thought there was another woman." + +"There was another woman here?" + +At last he was wide awake. + +"It was a dream, of course," he said, musingly. "Strange that I +should have a dream like that at such a moment. Sit down--" + +He took her hand and seated her on the bench; then sat down +beside her and reflected. + +Aglaya did not begin the conversation, but contented herself with +watching her companion intently. + +He looked back at her, but at times it was clear that he did not +see her and was not thinking of her. + +Aglaya began to flush up. + +"Oh yes!" cried the prince, starting. "Hippolyte's suicide--" + +"What? At your house?" she asked, but without much surprise. "He +was alive yesterday evening, wasn't he? How could you sleep here +after that?" she cried, growing suddenly animated. + +"Oh, but he didn't kill himself; the pistol didn't go off." +Aglaya insisted on hearing the whole story. She hurried the +prince along, but interrupted him with all sorts of questions, +nearly all of which were irrelevant. Among other things, she +seemed greatly interested in every word that Evgenie Pavlovitch +had said, and made the prince repeat that part of the story over +and over again. + +"Well, that'll do; we must be quick," she concluded, after +hearing all. "We have only an hour here, till eight; I must be +home by then without fail, so that they may not find out that I +came and sat here with you; but I've come on business. I have a +great deal to say to you. But you have bowled me over +considerably with your news. As to Hippolyte, I think his pistol +was bound not to go off; it was more consistent with the whole +affair. Are you sure he really wished to blow his brains out, and +that there was no humbug about the matter?" + +"No humbug at all." + +"Very likely. So he wrote that you were to bring me a copy of his +confession, did he? Why didn't you bring it?" + +"Why, he didn't die! I'll ask him for it, if you like." + +"Bring it by all means; you needn't ask him. He will be +delighted, you may be sure; for, in all probability, he shot at +himself simply in order that I might read his confession. Don't +laugh at what I say, please, Lef Nicolaievitch, because it may +very well be the case." + +"I'm not laughing. I am convinced, myself, that that may have +been partly the reason. + +"You are convinced? You don't really mean to say you think that +honestly?" asked Aglaya, extremely surprised. + +She put her questions very quickly and talked fast, every now and +then forgetting what she had begun to say, and not finishing her +sentence. She seemed to be impatient to warn the prince about +something or other. She was in a state of unusual excitement, and +though she put on a brave and even defiant air, she seemed to be +rather alarmed. She was dressed very simply, but this suited her +well. She continually trembled and blushed, and she sat on the +very edge of the seat. + +The fact that the prince confirmed her idea, about Hippolyte +shooting himself that she might read his confession, surprised +her greatly. + +"Of course," added the prince, "he wished us all to applaud his +conduct--besides yourself." + +"How do you mean--applaud?" + +"Well--how am I to explain? He was very anxious that we should +all come around him, and say we were so sorry for him, and that +we loved him very much, and all that; and that we hoped he +wouldn't kill himself, but remain alive. Very likely he thought +more of you than the rest of us, because he mentioned you at such +a moment, though perhaps he did not know himself that he had you +in his mind's eye." + +"I don't understand you. How could he have me in view, and not be +aware of it himself? And yet, I don't know--perhaps I do. Do you +know I have intended to poison myself at least thirty times--ever +since I was thirteen or so--and to write to my parents before I +did it? I used to think how nice it would be to lie in my coffin, +and have them all weeping over me and saying it was all their +fault for being so cruel, and all that--what are you smiling at?" +she added, knitting her brow. "What do YOU think of when you go +mooning about alone? I suppose you imagine yourself a field- +marshal, and think you have conquered Napoleon?" + +"Well, I really have thought something of the sort now and then, +especially when just dozing off," laughed the prince. "Only it is +the Austrians whom I conquer--not Napoleon." + +"I don't wish to joke with you, Lef Nicolaievitch. I shall see +Hippolyte myself. Tell him so. As for you, I think you are +behaving very badly, because it is not right to judge a man's +soul as you are judging Hippolyte's. You have no gentleness, but +only justice--so you are unjust." + +The prince reflected. + +"I think you are unfair towards me," he said. "There is nothing +wrong in the thoughts I ascribe to Hippolyte; they are only +natural. But of course I don't know for certain what he thought. +Perhaps he thought nothing, but simply longed to see human faces +once more, and to hear human praise and feel human affection. Who +knows? Only it all came out wrong, somehow. Some people have +luck, and everything comes out right with them; others have none, +and never a thing turns out fortunately." + +"I suppose you have felt that in your own case," said Aglaya. + +"Yes, I have," replied the prince, quite unsuspicious of any +irony in the remark. + +"H'm--well, at all events, I shouldn't have fallen asleep here, +in your place. It wasn't nice of you, that. I suppose you fall +asleep wherever you sit down?" + +"But I didn't sleep a wink all night. I walked and walked about, +and went to where the music was--" + +"What music?" + +"Where they played last night. Then I found this bench and sat +down, and thought and thought--and at last I fell fast asleep." + +"Oh, is that it? That makes a difference, perhaps. What did you +go to the bandstand for?" + +"I don't know; I---" + +"Very well--afterwards. You are always interrupting me. What +woman was it you were dreaming about?" + +"It was--about--you saw her--" + +"Quite so; I understand. I understand quite well. You are very-- +Well, how did she appear to you? What did she look like? No, I +don't want to know anything about her," said Aglaya, angrily; +"don't interrupt me--" + +She paused a moment as though getting breath, or trying to master +her feeling of annoyance. + +"Look here; this is what I called you here for. I wish to make +you a--to ask you to be my friend. What do you stare at me like +that for?" she added, almost angrily. + +The prince certainly had darted a rather piercing look at her, +and now observed that she had begun to blush violently. At such +moments, the more Aglaya blushed, the angrier she grew with +herself; and this was clearly expressed in her eyes, which +flashed like fire. As a rule, she vented her wrath on her +unfortunate companion, be it who it might. She was very conscious +of her own shyness, and was not nearly so talkative as her +sisters for this reason--in fact, at times she was much too +quiet. When, therefore, she was bound to talk, especially at such +delicate moments as this, she invariably did so with an air of +haughty defiance. She always knew beforehand when she was going +to blush, long before the blush came. + +"Perhaps you do not wish to accept my proposition?" she asked, +gazing haughtily at the prince. + +"Oh yes, I do; but it is so unnecessary. I mean, I did not think +you need make such a proposition," said the prince, looking +confused. + +"What did you suppose, then? Why did you think I invited you out +here? I suppose you think me a 'little fool,' as they all call me +at home?" + +"I didn't know they called you a fool. I certainly don't think +you one." + +"You don't think me one! Oh, dear me!--that's very clever of you; +you put it so neatly, too." + +"In my opinion, you are far from a fool sometimes--in fact, you +are very intelligent. You said a very clever thing just now about +my being unjust because I had ONLY justice. I shall remember +that, and think about it." + +Aglaya blushed with pleasure. All these changes in her expression +came about so naturally and so rapidly--they delighted the +prince; he watched her, and laughed. + +"Listen," she began again; "I have long waited to tell you all +this, ever since the time when you sent me that letter--even +before that. Half of what I have to say you heard yesterday. I +consider you the most honest and upright of men--more honest and +upright than any other man; and if anybody says that your mind +is--is sometimes affected, you know--it is unfair. I always say +so and uphold it, because even if your surface mind be a little +affected (of course you will not feel angry with me for talking +so--I am speaking from a higher point of view) yet your real mind +is far better than all theirs put together. Such a mind as they +have never even DREAMED of; because really, there are TWO minds-- +the kind that matters, and the kind that doesn't matter. Isn't it +so?" + +"May be! may be so!" said the prince, faintly; his heart was +beating painfully. + +"I knew you would not misunderstand me," she said, triumphantly. +"Prince S. and Evgenie Pavlovitch and Alexandra don't understand +anything about these two kinds of mind, but, just fancy, mamma +does!" + +"You are very like Lizabetha Prokofievna." + +"What! surely not?" said Aglaya. + +"Yes, you are, indeed." + +"Thank you; I am glad to be like mamma," she said, thoughtfully. +"You respect her very much, don't you?" she added, quite +unconscious of the naiveness of the question. + +"VERY much; and I am so glad that you have realized the fact." + +"I am very glad, too, because she is often laughed at by people. +But listen to the chief point. I have long thought over the +matter, and at last I have chosen you. I don't wish people to +laugh at me; I don't wish people to think me a 'little fool.' I +don't want to be chaffed. I felt all this of a sudden, and I +refused Evgenie Pavlovitch flatly, because I am not going to be +forever thrown at people's heads to be married. I want--I want-- +well, I'll tell you, I wish to run away from home, and I have +chosen you to help me." + +"Run away from home?" cried the prince. + +"Yes--yes--yes! Run away from home!" she repeated, in a transport +of rage. "I won't, I won't be made to blush every minute by them +all! I don't want to blush before Prince S. or Evgenie +Pavlovitch, or anyone, and therefore I have chosen you. I shall +tell you everything, EVERYTHING, even the most important things +of all, whenever I like, and you are to hide nothing from me on +your side. I want to speak to at least one person, as I would to +myself. They have suddenly begun to say that I am waiting for +you, and in love with you. They began this before you arrived +here, and so I didn't show them the letter, and now they all say +it, every one of them. I want to be brave, and be afraid of +nobody. I don't want to go to their balls and things--I want to +do good. I have long desired to run away, for I have been kept +shut up for twenty years, and they are always trying to marry me +off. I wanted to run away when I was fourteen years old--I was a +little fool then, I know--but now I have worked it all out, and I +have waited for you to tell me about foreign countries. I have +never seen a single Gothic cathedral. I must go to Rome; I must +see all the museums; I must study in Paris. All this last year I +have been preparing and reading forbidden books. Alexandra and +Adelaida are allowed to read anything they like, but I mayn't. I +don't want to quarrel with my sisters, but I told my parents long +ago that I wish to change my social position. I have decided to +take up teaching, and I count on you because you said you loved +children. Can we go in for education together--if not at once, +then afterwards? We could do good together. I won't be a +general's daughter any more! Tell me, are you a very learned +man?" + +"Oh no; not at all." + +"Oh-h-h! I'm sorry for that. I thought you were. I wonder why I +always thought so--but at all events you'll help me, won't you? +Because I've chosen you, you know." + +"Aglaya Ivanovna, it's absurd." + +But I will, I WILL run away!" she cried--and her eyes flashed +again with anger--"and if you don't agree I shall go and marry +Gavrila Ardalionovitch! I won't be considered a horrible girl, +and accused of goodness knows what." + +"Are you out of your mind?" cried the prince, almost starting +from his seat. "What do they accuse you of? Who accuses you?" + +"At home, everybody, mother, my sisters, Prince S., even that +detestable Colia! If they don't say it, they think it. I told +them all so to their faces. I told mother and father and +everybody. Mamma was ill all the day after it, and next day +father and Alexandra told me that I didn't understand what +nonsense I was talking. I informed them that they little knew me-- +I was not a small child--I understood every word in the language-- +that I had read a couple of Paul de Kok's novels two years since +on purpose, so as to know all about everything. No sooner did +mamma hear me say this than she nearly fainted!" + +A strange thought passed through the prince's brain; he gazed +intently at Aglaya and smiled. + +He could not believe that this was the same haughty young girl +who had once so proudly shown him Gania's letter. He could not +understand how that proud and austere beauty could show herself +to be such an utter child--a child who probably did not even now +understand some words. + +"Have you always lived at home, Aglaya Ivanovna?" he asked. "I +mean, have you never been to school, or college, or anything?" + +"No--never--nowhere! I've been at home all my life, corked up in +a bottle; and they expect me to be married straight out of it. +What are you laughing at again? I observe that you, too, have +taken to laughing at me, and range yourself on their side against +me," she added, frowning angrily. "Don't irritate me--I'm bad +enough without that--I don't know what I am doing sometimes. I am +persuaded that you came here today in the full belief that I am +in love with you, and that I arranged this meeting because of +that," she cried, with annoyance. + +"I admit I was afraid that that was the case, yesterday," +blundered the prince (he was rather confused), "but today I am +quite convinced that " + +"How?" cried Aglaya--and her lower lip trembled violently. "You +were AFRAID that I--you dared to think that I--good gracious! you +suspected, perhaps, that I sent for you to come here in order to +catch you in a trap, so that they should find us here together, +and make you marry me--" + +"Aglaya Ivanovna, aren't you ashamed of saying such a thing? How +could such a horrible idea enter your sweet, innocent heart? I am +certain you don't believe a word of what you say, and probably +you don't even know what you are talking about." + +Aglaya sat with her eyes on the ground; she seemed to have +alarmed even herself by what she had said. + +"No, I'm not; I'm not a bit ashamed!" she murmured. "And how do +you know my heart is innocent? And how dared you send me a love-- +letter that time?" + +"LOVE-LETTER? My letter a love-letter? That letter was the most +respectful of letters; it went straight from my heart, at what +was perhaps the most painful moment of my life! I thought of you +at the time as a kind of light. I--" + +"Well, very well, very well!" she said, but quite in a different +tone. She was remorseful now, and bent forward to touch his +shoulder, though still trying not to look him in the face, as if +the more persuasively to beg him not to be angry with her. "Very +well," she continued, looking thoroughly ashamed of herself, "I +feel that I said a very foolish thing. I only did it just to try +you. Take it as unsaid, and if I offended you, forgive me. Don't +look straight at me like that, please; turn your head away. You +called it a 'horrible idea'; I only said it to shock you. Very +often I am myself afraid of saying what I intend to say, and out +it comes all the same. You have just told me that you wrote that +letter at the most painful moment of your life. I know what +moment that was!" she added softly, looking at the ground again. + +"Oh, if you could know all!" + +"I DO know all!" she cried, with another burst of indignation. +"You were living in the same house as that horrible woman with +whom you ran away." She did not blush as she said this; on the +contrary, she grew pale, and started from her seat, apparently +oblivious of what she did, and immediately sat down again. Her +lip continued to tremble for a long time. + +There was silence for a moment. The prince was taken aback by the +suddenness of this last reply, and did not know to what he should +attribute it. + +"I don't love you a bit!" she said suddenly, just as though the +words had exploded from her mouth. + +The prince did not answer, and there was silence again. "I love +Gavrila Ardalionovitch," she said, quickly; but hardly audibly, +and with her head bent lower than ever. + +"That is NOT true," said the prince, in an equally low voice. + +"What! I tell stories, do I? It is true! I gave him my promise a +couple of days ago on this very seat." + +The prince was startled, and reflected for a moment. + +"It is not true," he repeated, decidedly; "you have just invented +it!" + +"You are wonderfully polite. You know he is greatly improved. He +loves me better than his life. He let his hand burn before my +very eyes in order to prove to me that he loved me better than +his life!" + +"He burned his hand!" + +"Yes, believe it or not! It's all the same to me!" + +The prince sat silent once more. Aglaya did not seem to be +joking; she was too angry for that. + +"What! he brought a candle with him to this place? That is, if +the episode happened here; otherwise I can't " + +"Yes, a candle! What's there improbable about that?" + +"A whole one, and in a candlestick?" + +"Yes--no-half a candle--an end, you know--no, it was a whole +candle; it's all the same. Be quiet, can't you! He brought a box +of matches too, if you like, and then lighted the candle and held +his finger in it for half an hour and more!--There! Can't that +be?" + +"I saw him yesterday, and his fingers were all right!" + +Aglaya suddenly burst out laughing, as simply as a child. + +"Do you know why I have just told you these lies?" She appealed +to the prince, of a sudden, with the most childlike candour, and +with the laugh still trembling on her lips. "Because when one +tells a lie, if one insists on something unusual and eccentric-- +something too 'out of the way'' for anything, you know--the more +impossible the thing is, the more plausible does the lie sound. +I've noticed this. But I managed it badly; I didn't know how to +work it." She suddenly frowned again at this point as though at +some sudden unpleasant recollection. + +"If"--she began, looking seriously and even sadly at him-- "if +when I read you all that about the 'poor knight,' I wished to-to +praise you for one thing--I also wished to show you that I knew +all--and did not approve of your conduct." + +"You are very unfair to me, and to that unfortunate woman of whom +you spoke just now in such dreadful terms, Aglaya." + +"Because I know all, all--and that is why I speak so. I know very +well how you--half a year since--offered her your hand before +everybody. Don't interrupt me. You see, I am merely stating facts +without any comment upon them. After that she ran away with +Rogojin. Then you lived with her at some village or town, and she +ran away from you." (Aglaya blushed dreadfully.) "Then she +returned to Rogojin again, who loves her like a madman. Then you +--like a wise man as you are--came back here after her as soon as +ever you heard that she had returned to Petersburg. Yesterday +evening you sprang forward to protect her, and just now you +dreamed about her. You see, I know all. You did come back here +for her, for her--now didn't you?" + +"Yes--for her!" said the prince softly and sadly, and bending his +head down, quite unconscious of the fact that Aglaya was gazing +at him with eyes which burned like live coals. "I came to find +out something--I don't believe in her future happiness as +Rogojin's wife, although--in a word, I did not know how to help +her or what to do for her--but I came, on the chance." + +He glanced at Aglaya, who was listening with a look of hatred on +her face. + +"If you came without knowing why, I suppose you love her very +much indeed!" she said at last. + +"No," said the prince, "no, I do not love her. Oh! if you only +knew with what horror I recall the time I spent with her!" + +A shudder seemed to sweep over his whole body at the +recollection. + +"Tell me about it," said Aglaya. + +"There is nothing which you might not hear. Why I should wish to +tell you, and only you, this experience of mine, I really cannot +say; perhaps it really is because I love you very much. This +unhappy woman is persuaded that she is the most hopeless, fallen +creature in the world. Oh, do not condemn her! Do not cast stones +at her! She has suffered too much already in the consciousness of +her own undeserved shame. + +"And she is not guilty--oh God!--Every moment she bemoans and +bewails herself, and cries out that she does not admit any guilt, +that she is the victim of circumstances--the victim of a wicked +libertine. + +"But whatever she may say, remember that she does not believe it +herself,--remember that she will believe nothing but that she is +a guilty creature. + +"When I tried to rid her soul of this gloomy fallacy, she +suffered so terribly that my heart will never be quite at peace +so long as I can remember that dreadful time!--Do you know why +she left me? Simply to prove to me what is not true--that she is +base. But the worst of it is, she did not realize herself that +that was all she wanted to prove by her departure! She went away +in response to some inner prompting to do something disgraceful, +in order that she might say to herself--'There--you've done a new +act of shame--you degraded creature!' + +"Oh, Aglaya--perhaps you cannot understand all this. Try to +realize that in the perpetual admission of guilt she probably +finds some dreadful unnatural satisfaction--as though she were +revenging herself upon someone. + +"Now and then I was able to persuade her almost to see light +around her again; but she would soon fall, once more, into her +old tormenting delusions, and would go so far as to reproach me +for placing myself on a pedestal above her (I never had an idea +of such a thing!), and informed me, in reply to my proposal of +marriage, that she 'did not want condescending sympathy or help +from anybody.' You saw her last night. You don't suppose she can +be happy among such people as those--you cannot suppose that such +society is fit for her? You have no idea how well-educated she +is, and what an intellect she has! She astonished me sometimes." + +"And you preached her sermons there, did you?" + +"Oh no," continued the prince thoughtfully, not noticing Aglaya's +mocking tone, "I was almost always silent there. I often wished +to speak, but I really did not know what to say. In some cases it +is best to say nothing, I think. I loved her, yes, I loved her +very much indeed; but afterwards--afterwards she guessed all." + +"What did she guess?" + +"That I only PITIED her--and--and loved her no longer!" + +"How do you know that? How do you know that she is not really in +love with that--that rich cad--the man she eloped with?" + +"Oh no! I know she only laughs at him; she has made a fool of him +all along." + +"Has she never laughed at you?" + +"No--in anger, perhaps. Oh yes! she reproached me dreadfully in +anger; and suffered herself, too! But afterwards--oh! don't +remind me--don't remind me of that!" + +He hid his face in his hands. + +"Are you aware that she writes to me almost every day?" + +"So that is true, is it?" cried the prince, greatly agitated. +"I had heard a report of it, but would not believe it." + +"Whom did you hear it from?" asked Aglaya, alarmed. "Rogojin said +something about it yesterday, but nothing definite." + +"Yesterday! Morning or evening? Before the music or after?" + +"After--it was about twelve o'clock." + +"Ah! Well, if it was Rogojin--but do you know what she writes to +me about?" + +"I should not be surprised by anything. She is mad!" + +"There are the letters." (Aglaya took three letters out of her +pocket and threw them down before the prince.) "For a whole week +she has been entreating and worrying and persuading me to marry +you. She--well, she is clever, though she may be mad--much +cleverer than I am, as you say. Well, she writes that she is in +love with me herself, and tries to see me every day, if only from +a distance. She writes that you love me, and that she has long +known it and seen it, and that you and she talked about me-- +there. She wishes to see you happy, and she says that she is +certain only I can ensure you the happiness you deserve. She +writes such strange, wild letters--I haven't shown them to +anyone. Now, do you know what all this means? Can you guess +anything?" + +"It is madness--it is merely another proof of her insanity!" said +the prince, and his lips trembled. + +"You are crying, aren't you?" + +"No, Aglaya. No, I'm not crying." The prince looked at her. + +"Well, what am I to do? What do you advise me? I cannot go on +receiving these letters, you know." + +"Oh, let her alone, I entreat you!" cried the prince. What can +you do in this dark, gloomy mystery? Let her alone, and I'll use +all my power to prevent her writing you any more letters." + +"If so, you are a heartless man!" cried Aglaya. As if you can't +see that it is not myself she loves, but you, you, and only you! +Surely you have not remarked everything else in her, and only not +THIS? Do you know what these letters mean? They mean jealousy, +sir--nothing but pure jealousy! She--do you think she will ever +really marry this Rogojin, as she says here she will? She would +take her own life the day after you and I were married." + +The prince shuddered; his heart seemed to freeze within him. He +gazed at Aglaya in wonderment; it was difficult for him to +realize that this child was also a woman. + +"God knows, Aglaya, that to restore her peace of mind and make +her happy I would willingly give up my life. But I cannot love +her, and she knows that." + +"Oh, make a sacrifice of yourself! That sort of thing becomes you +well, you know. Why not do it? And don't call me 'Aglaya'; you +have done it several times lately. You are bound, it is your DUTY +to 'raise' her; you must go off somewhere again to soothe and +pacify her. Why, you love her, you know!" + +"I cannot sacrifice myself so, though I admit I did wish to do so +once. Who knows, perhaps I still wish to! But I know for CERTAIN, +that if she married me it would be her ruin; I know this and +therefore I leave her alone. I ought to go to see her today; now +I shall probably not go. She is proud, she would never forgive me +the nature of the love I bear her, and we should both be ruined. +This may be unnatural, I don't know; but everything seems +unnatural. You say she loves me, as if this were LOVE! As if she +could love ME, after what I have been through! No, no, it is not +love." + +"How pale you have grown!" cried Aglaya in alarm. + +Oh, it's nothing. I haven't slept, that's all, and I'm rather +tired. I--we certainly did talk about you, Aglaya." + +"Oh, indeed, it is true then! YOU COULD ACTUALLY TALK ABOUT ME +WITH HER; and--and how could you have been fond of me when you +had only seen me once?" + +"I don't know. Perhaps it was that I seemed to come upon light in +the midst of my gloom. I told you the truth when I said I did not +know why I thought of you before all others. Of course it was all +a sort of dream, a dream amidst the horrors of reality. +Afterwards I began to work. I did not intend to come back here +for two or three years--" + +"Then you came for her sake?" Aglaya's voice trembled. + +"Yes, I came for her sake." + +There was a moment or two of gloomy silence. Aglaya rose from her +seat. + +"If you say," she began in shaky tones, "if you say that this +woman of yours is mad--at all events I have nothing to do with +her insane fancies. Kindly take these three letters, Lef +Nicolaievitch, and throw them back to her, from me. And if she +dares," cried Aglaya suddenly, much louder than before, "if she +dares so much as write me one word again, tell her I shall tell +my father, and that she shall be taken to a lunatic asylum." + +The prince jumped up in alarm at Aglaya's sudden wrath, and a +mist seemed to come before his eyes. + +"You cannot really feel like that! You don't mean what you say. +It is not true," he murmured. + +"It IS true, it IS true," cried Aglaya, almost beside herself +with rage. + +"What's true? What's all this? What's true?" said an alarmed +voice just beside them. + +Before them stood Lizabetha Prokofievna. + +"Why, it's true that I am going to marry Gavrila Ardalionovitch, +that I love him and intend to elope with him tomorrow," cried +Aglaya, turning upon her mother. "Do you hear? Is your curiosity +satisfied? Are you pleased with what you have heard?" + +Aglaya rushed away homewards with these words. + +"H'm! well, YOU are not going away just yet, my friend, at all +events," said Lizabetha, stopping the prince. "Kindly step home +with me, and let me have a little explanation of the mystery. +Nice goings on, these! I haven't slept a wink all night as it +is." + +The prince followed her. + +IX. + +ARRIVED at her house, Lizabetha Prokofievna paused in the first +room. She could go no farther, and subsided on to a couch quite +exhausted; too feeble to remember so much as to ask the prince to +take a seat. This was a large reception-room, full of flowers, +and with a glass door leading into the garden. + +Alexandra and Adelaida came in almost immediately, and looked +inquiringly at the prince and their mother. + +The girls generally rose at about nine in the morning in the +country; Aglaya, of late, had been in the habit of getting up +rather earlier and having a walk in the garden, but not at seven +o'clock; about eight or a little later was her usual time. + +Lizabetha Prokofievna, who really had not slept all night, rose +at about eight on purpose to meet Aglaya in the garden and walk +with her; but she could not find her either in the garden or in +her own room. + +This agitated the old lady considerably; and she awoke her other +daughters. Next, she learned from the maid that Aglaya had gone +into the park before seven o'clock. The sisters made a joke of +Aglaya's last freak, and told their mother that if she went into +the park to look for her, Aglaya would probably be very angry +with her, and that she was pretty sure to be sitting reading on +the green bench that she had talked of two or three days since, +and about which she had nearly quarrelled with Prince S., who did +not see anything particularly lovely in it. + +Arrived at the rendezvous of the prince and her daughter, and +hearing the strange words of the latter, Lizabetha Prokofievna +had been dreadfully alarmed, for many reasons. However, now that +she had dragged the prince home with her, she began to feel a +little frightened at what she had undertaken. Why should not +Aglaya meet the prince in the park and have a talk with him, even +if such a meeting should be by appointment? + +"Don't suppose, prince," she began, bracing herself up for the +effort, "don't suppose that I have brought you here to ask +questions. After last night, I assure you, I am not so +exceedingly anxious to see you at all; I could have postponed the +pleasure for a long while." She paused. + +"But at the same time you would be very glad to know how I +happened to meet Aglaya Ivanovna this morning?" The prince +finished her speech for her with the utmost composure. + +"Well, what then? Supposing I should like to know?" cried +Lizabetha Prokofievna, blushing. "I'm sure I am not afraid of +plain speaking. I'm not offending anyone, and I never wish to, +and--" + +"Pardon me, it is no offence to wish to know this; you are her +mother. We met at the green bench this morning, punctually at +seven o'clock,--according to an agreement made by Aglaya Ivanovna +with myself yesterday. She said that she wished to see me and +speak to me about something important. We met and conversed for +an hour about matters concerning Aglaya Ivanovna herself, and +that's all." + +"Of course it is all, my friend. I don't doubt you for a moment," +said Lizabetha Prokofievna with dignity. + +"Well done, prince, capital!" cried Aglaya, who entered the room +at this moment. "Thank you for assuming that I would not demean +myself with lies. Come, is that enough, mamma, or do you intend +to put any more questions?" + +"You know I have never needed to blush before you, up to this +day, though perhaps you would have been glad enough to make me," +said Lizabetha Prokofievna,--with majesty. "Good-bye, prince; +forgive me for bothering you. I trust you will rest assured of my +unalterable esteem for you." + +The prince made his bows and retired at once. Alexandra and +Adelaida smiled and whispered to each other, while Lizabetha +Prokofievna glared severely at them. "We are only laughing at the +prince's beautiful bows, mamma," said Adelaida. "Sometimes he +bows just like a meal-sack, but to-day he was like--like Evgenie +Pavlovitch!" + +"It is the HEART which is the best teacher of refinement and +dignity, not the dancing-master," said her mother, sententiously, +and departed upstairs to her own room, not so much as glancing at +Aglaya. + +When the prince reached home, about nine o'clock, he found Vera +Lebedeff and the maid on the verandah. They were both busy trying +to tidy up the place after last night's disorderly party. + +"Thank goodness, we've just managed to finish it before you came +in!" said Vera, joyfully. + +"Good-morning! My head whirls so; I didn't sleep all night. I +should like to have a nap now." + +"Here, on the verandah? Very well, I'll tell them all not to come +and wake you. Papa has gone out somewhere." + +The servant left the room. Vera was about to follow her, but +returned and approached the prince with a preoccupied air. + +"Prince!" she said, "have pity on that poor boy; don't turn him +out today." + +"Not for the world; he shall do just as he likes." + +"He won't do any harm now; and--and don't be too severe with +him," + +"Oh dear no! Why--" + +"And--and you won't LAUGH at him? That's the chief thing." + +"Oh no! Never." + +"How foolish I am to speak of such things to a man like you," +said Vera, blushing. "Though you DO look tired," she added, half +turning away," your eyes are so splendid at this moment--so full +of happiness." + +"Really?" asked the prince, gleefully, and he laughed in delight. + +But Vera, simple-minded little girl that she was (just like a +boy, in fact), here became dreadfully confused, of a sudden, and +ran hastily out of the room, laughing and blushing. + +"What a dear little thing she is," thought the prince, and +immediately forgot all about her. + +He walked to the far end of the verandah, where the sofa stood, +with a table in front of it. Here he sat down and covered his +face with his hands, and so remained for ten minutes. Suddenly he +put his hand in his coat-pocket and hurriedly produced three +letters. + +But the door opened again, and out came Colia. + +The prince actually felt glad that he had been interrupted,--and +might return the letters to his pocket. He was glad of the +respite. + +"Well," said Colia, plunging in medias res, as he always did, +"here's a go! What do you think of Hippolyte now? Don't respect +him any longer, eh?" + +"Why not? But look here, Colia, I'm tired; besides, the subject +is too melancholy to begin upon again. How is he, though?" + +"Asleep--he'll sleep for a couple of hours yet. I quite +understand--you haven't slept--you walked about the park, I know. +Agitation--excitement--all that sort of thing--quite natural, +too!" + +"How do you know I walked in the park and didn't sleep at home?" + +"Vera just told me. She tried to persuade me not to come, but I +couldn't help myself, just for one minute. I have been having my +turn at the bedside for the last two hours; Kostia Lebedeff is +there now. Burdovsky has gone. Now, lie down, prince, make +yourself comfortable, and sleep well! I'm awfully impressed, you +know." + +"Naturally, all this--" + +"No, no, I mean with the 'explanation,' especially that part of +it where he talks about Providence and a future life. There is a +gigantic thought there." + +The prince gazed affectionately at Colia, who, of course, had +come in solely for the purpose of talking about this "gigantic +thought." + +"But it is not any one particular thought, only; it is the +general circumstances of the case. If Voltaire had written this +now, or Rousseau, I should have just read it and thought it +remarkable, but should not have been so IMPRESSED by it. But a +man who knows for certain that he has but ten minutes to live and +can talk like that--why--it's--it's PRIDE, that is! It is really +a most extraordinary, exalted assertion of personal dignity, +it's--it's DEFIANT! What a GIGANTIC strength of will, eh? And to +accuse a fellow like that of not putting in the cap on purpose; +it's base and mean! You know he deceived us last night, the +cunning rascal. I never packed his bag for him, and I never saw +his pistol. He packed it himself. But he put me off my guard like +that, you see. Vera says you are going to let him stay on; I +swear there's no danger, especially as we are always with him." + +"Who was by him at night?" + +"I, and Burdovsky, and Kostia Lebedeff. Keller stayed a little +while, and then went over to Lebedeff's to sleep. Ferdishenko +slept at Lebedeff's, too; but he went away at seven o'clock. My +father is always at Lebedeff's; but he has gone out just now. I +dare say Lebedeff will be coming in here directly; he has been +looking for you; I don't know what he wants. Shall we let him in +or not, if you are asleep? I'm going to have a nap, too. By-the- +by, such a curious thing happened. Burdovsky woke me at seven, +and I met my father just outside the room, so drunk, he didn't +even know me. He stood before me like a log, and when he +recovered himself, asked hurriedly how Hippolyte was. 'Yes,' he +said, when I told him, 'that's all very well, but I REALLY came +to warn you that you must be very careful what you say before +Ferdishenko.' Do you follow me, prince?" + +"Yes. Is it really so? However, it's all the same to us, of +course." + +"Of course it is; we are not a secret society; and that being the +case, it is all the more curious that the general should have +been on his way to wake me up in order to tell me this." + +"Ferdishenko has gone, you say?" + +"Yes, he went at seven o'clock. He came into the room on his way +out; I was watching just then. He said he was going to spend 'the +rest of the night' at Wilkin's; there's a tipsy fellow, a friend +of his, of that name. Well, I'm off. Oh, here's Lebedeff himself! +The prince wants to go to sleep, Lukian Timofeyovitch, so you may +just go away again." + +"One moment, my dear prince, just one. I must absolutely speak to +you about something which is most grave," said Lebedeff, +mysteriously and solemnly, entering the room with a bow and +looking extremely important. He had but just returned, and +carried his hat in his hand. He looked preoccupied and most +unusually dignified. + +The prince begged him to take a chair. + +"I hear you have called twice; I suppose you are still worried +about yesterday's affair." + +"What, about that boy, you mean? Oh dear no, yesterday my ideas +were a little--well--mixed. Today, I assure you, I shall not +oppose in the slightest degree any suggestions it may please you +to make." + +"What's up with you this morning, Lebedeff? You look so important +and dignified, and you choose your words so carefully," said the +prince, smiling. + +"Nicolai Ardalionovitch!" said Lebedeff, in a most amiable tone +of voice, addressing the boy. "As I have a communication to make +to the prince which concerns only myself--" + +"Of course, of course, not my affair. All right," said Colia, and +away he went. + +"I love that boy for his perception," said Lebedeff, looking +after him. "My dear prince," he continued, "I have had a terrible +misfortune, either last night or early this morning. I cannot +tell the exact time." + +"What is it?" + +"I have lost four hundred roubles out of my side pocket! They're +gone!" said Lebedeff, with a sour smile. + +"You've lost four hundred roubles? Oh! I'm sorry for that." + +"Yes, it is serious for a poor man who lives by his toil." + +"Of course, of course! How was it?" + +"Oh, the wine is to blame, of course. I confess to you, prince, +as I would to Providence itself. Yesterday I received four +hundred roubles from a debtor at about five in the afternoon, and +came down here by train. I had my purse in my pocket. When I +changed, I put the money into the pocket of my plain clothes, +intending to keep it by me, as I expected to have an applicant +for it in the evening." + +"It's true then, Lebedeff, that you advertise to lend money on +gold or silver articles?" + +"Yes, through an agent. My own name doesn't appear. I have a +large family, you see, and at a small percentage--" + +"Quite so, quite so. I only asked for information--excuse the +question. Go on." + +"Well, meanwhile that sick boy was brought here, and those guests +came in, and we had tea, and--well, we made merry--to my ruin! +Hearing of your birthday afterwards, and excited with the +circumstances of the evening, I ran upstairs and changed my plain +clothes once more for my uniform [Civil Service clerks in Russia +wear uniform.]--you must have noticed I had my uniform on all the +evening? Well, I forgot the money in the pocket of my old coat-- +you know when God will ruin a man he first of all bereaves him of +his senses--and it was only this morning at half-past seven that +I woke up and grabbed at my coat pocket, first thing. The pocket +was empty--the purse gone, and not a trace to be found!" + +"Dear me! This is very unpleasant!" + +"Unpleasant! Indeed it is. You have found a very appropriate +expression," said Lebedeff, politely, but with sarcasm. + +"But what's to be done? It's a serious matter," said the prince, +thoughtfully. "Don't you think you may have dropped it out of +your pocket whilst intoxicated?" + +"Certainly. Anything is possible when one is intoxicated, as you +neatly express it, prince. But consider--if I, intoxicated or +not, dropped an object out of my pocket on to the ground, that +object ought to remain on the ground. Where is the object, then?" + +"Didn't you put it away in some drawer, perhaps?" + +"I've looked everywhere, and turned out everything." + +"I confess this disturbs me a good deal. Someone must have picked +it up, then." + +"Or taken it out of my pocket--two alternatives." + +"It is very distressing, because WHO--? That's the question!" + +"Most undoubtedly, excellent prince, you have hit it--that is the +very question. How wonderfully you express the exact situation in +a few words!" + +"Come, come, Lebedeff, no sarcasm! It's a serious--" + +"Sarcasm!" cried Lebedeff, wringing his hands. +"All right, all right, I'm not angry. I'm only put out about +this. Whom do you suspect?" + +"That is a very difficult and complicated question. I cannot +suspect the servant, for she was in the kitchen the whole +evening, nor do I suspect any of my children." + +"I should think not. Go on." + +"Then it must be one of the guests." + +"Is such a thing possible?" + +"Absolutely and utterly impossible--and yet, so it must be. But +one thing I am sure of, if it be a theft, it was committed, not +in the evening when we were all together, but either at night or +early in the morning; therefore, by one of those who slept here. +Burdovsky and Colia I except, of course. They did not even come +into my room." + +"Yes, or even if they had! But who did sleep with you?" "Four of +us, including myself, in two rooms. The general, myself, Keller, +and Ferdishenko. One of us four it must have been. I don't +suspect myself, though such cases have been known." + +"Oh! DO go on, Lebedeff! Don't drag it out so." + +"Well, there are three left, then--Keller firstly. He is a +drunkard to begin with, and a liberal (in the sense of other +people's pockets), otherwise with more of the ancient knight +about him than of the modern liberal. He was with the sick man at +first, but came over afterwards because there was no place to lie +down in the room and the floor was so hard." + +"You suspect him?" + +"I DID suspect him. When I woke up at half-past seven and tore my +hair in despair for my loss and carelessness, I awoke the +general, who was sleeping the sleep of innocence near me. Taking +into consideration the sudden disappearance of Ferdishenko, which +was suspicious in itself, we decided to search Keller, who was +lying there sleeping like a top. Well, we searched his clothes +thoroughly, and not a farthing did we find; in fact, his pockets +all had holes in them. We found a dirty handkerchief, and a love- +letter from some scullery-maid. The general decided that he was +innocent. We awoke him for further inquiries, and had the +greatest difficulty in making him understand what was up. He +opened his mouth and stared--he looked so stupid and so absurdly +innocent. It wasn't Keller." + +"Oh, I'm so glad!" said the prince, joyfully. "I was so afraid." + +"Afraid! Then you had some grounds for supposing he might be the +culprit?" said Lebedeff, frowning. + +"Oh no--not a bit! It was foolish of me to say I was afraid! +Don't repeat it please, Lebedeff, don't tell anyone I said that!" + +"My dear prince! your words lie in the lowest depth of my heart-- +it is their tomb!" said Lebedeff, solemnly, pressing his hat to +the region of his heart. + +"Thanks; very well. Then I suppose it's Ferdishenko; that is, I +mean, you suspect Ferdishenko?" + +"Whom else?" said Lebedeff, softly, gazing intently into the +prince s face. + +"Of course--quite so, whom else? But what are the proofs?" + +"We have evidence. In the first place, his mysterious +disappearance at seven o'clock, or even earlier." + +"I know, Colia told me that he had said he was off to--I forget +the name, some friend of his, to finish the night." + +"H'm! then Colia has spoken to you already?" + +"Not about the theft." + +"He does not know of it; I have kept it a secret. Very well, +Ferdishenko went off to Wilkin's. That is not so curious in +itself, but here the evidence opens out further. He left his +address, you see, when he went. Now prince, consider, why did he +leave his address? Why do you suppose he went out of his way to +tell Colia that he had gone to Wilkin's? Who cared to know that +he was going to Wilkin's? No, no! prince, this is finesse, +thieves' finesse! This is as good as saying, 'There, how can I be +a thief when I leave my address? I'm not concealing my movements +as a thief would.' Do you understand, prince?" + +"Oh yes, but that is not enough." + +"Second proof. The scent turns out to be false, and the address +given is a sham. An hour after--that is at about eight, I went to +Wilkin's myself, and there was no trace of Ferdishenko. The maid +did tell me, certainly, that an hour or so since someone had been +hammering at the door, and had smashed the bell; she said she +would not open the door because she didn't want to wake her +master; probably she was too lazy to get up herself. Such +phenomena are met with occasionally!" + +"But is that all your evidence? It is not enough!" + +"Well, prince, whom are we to suspect, then? Consider!" said +Lebedeff with almost servile amiability, smiling at the prince. +There was a look of cunning in his eyes, however. + +"You should search your room and all the cupboards again," said +the prince, after a moment or two of silent reflection. + +"But I have done so, my dear prince!" said Lebedeff, more sweetly +than ever. + +"H'm! why must you needs go up and change your coat like that?" +asked the prince, banging the table with his fist, in annoyance. + +"Oh, don't be so worried on my account, prince! I assure you I am +not worth it! At least, not I alone. But I see you are suffering +on behalf of the criminal too, for wretched Ferdishenko, in +fact!" + +"Of course you have given me a disagreeable enough thing to think +about," said the prince, irritably, "but what are you going to +do, since you are so sure it was Ferdishenko?" + +"But who else COULD it be, my very dear prince?" repeated +Lebedeff, as sweet as sugar again. "If you don't wish me to +suspect Mr. Burdovsky?" + +"Of course not." + +"Nor the general? Ha, ha, ha!" + +"Nonsense!" said the prince, angrily, turning round upon him. + +"Quite so, nonsense! Ha, ha, ha! dear me! He did amuse me, did +the general! We went off on the hot scent to Wilkin's together, +you know; but I must first observe that the general was even more +thunderstruck than I myself this morning, when I awoke him after +discovering the theft; so much so that his very face changed--he +grew red and then pale, and at length flew into a paroxysm of +such noble wrath that I assure you I was quite surprised! He is a +most generous-hearted man! He tells lies by the thousands, I +know, but it is merely a weakness; he is a man of the highest +feelings; a simple-minded man too, and a man who carries the +conviction of innocence in his very appearance. I love that man, +sir; I may have told you so before; it is a weakness of mine. +Well--he suddenly stopped in the middle of the road, opened out +his coat and bared his breast. "Search me," he says, "you +searched Keller; why don't you search me too? It is only fair!" +says he. And all the while his legs and hands were trembling with +anger, and he as white as a sheet all over! So I said to him, +"Nonsense, general; if anybody but yourself had said that to me, +I'd have taken my head, my own head, and put it on a large dish +and carried it round to anyone who suspected you; and I should +have said: 'There, you see that head? It's my head, and I'll go +bail with that head for him! Yes, and walk through the fire for +him, too. There,' says I, 'that's how I'd answer for you, +general!' Then he embraced me, in the middle of the street, and +hugged me so tight (crying over me all the while) that I coughed +fit to choke! 'You are the one friend left to me amid all my +misfortunes,' says he. Oh, he's a man of sentiment, that! He went +on to tell me a story of how he had been accused, or suspected, +of stealing five hundred thousand roubles once, as a young man; +and how, the very next day, he had rushed into a burning, blazing +house and saved the very count who suspected him, and Nina +Alexandrovna (who was then a young girl), from a fiery death. The +count embraced him, and that was how he came to marry Nina +Alexandrovna, he said. As for the money, it was found among the +ruins next day in an English iron box with a secret lock; it had +got under the floor somehow, and if it had not been for the fire +it would never have been found! The whole thing is, of course, an +absolute fabrication, though when he spoke of Nina Alexandrovna +he wept! She's a grand woman, is Nina Alexandrovna, though she is +very angry with me!" + +"Are you acquainted with her?" + +"Well, hardly at all. I wish I were, if only for the sake of +justifying myself in her eyes. Nina Alexandrovna has a grudge +against me for, as she thinks, encouraging her husband in +drinking; whereas in reality I not only do not encourage him, but +I actually keep him out of harm's way, and out of bad company. +Besides, he's my friend, prince, so that I shall not lose sight +of him, again. Where he goes, I go. He's quite given up visiting +the captain's widow, though sometimes he thinks sadly of her, +especially in the morning, when he's putting on his boots. I +don't know why it's at that time. But he has no money, and it's +no use his going to see her without. Has he borrowed any money +from you, prince?" + +"No, he has not." + +"Ah, he's ashamed to! He MEANT to ask you, I know, for he said +so. I suppose he thinks that as you gave him some once (you +remember), you would probably refuse if he asked you again." + +"Do you ever give him money?" + +"Prince! Money! Why I would give that man not only my money, but +my very life, if he wanted it. Well, perhaps that's exaggeration; +not life, we'll say, but some illness, a boil or a bad cough, or +anything of that sort, I would stand with pleasure, for his sake; +for I consider him a great man fallen--money, indeed!" + +"H'm, then you DO give him money?" + +"N-no, I have never given him money, and he knows well that I +will never give him any; because I am anxious to keep him out of +intemperate ways. He is going to town with me now; for you must +know I am off to Petersburg after Ferdishenko, while the scent is +hot; I'm certain he is there. I shall let the general go one way, +while I go the other; we have so arranged matters in order to pop +out upon Ferdishenko, you see, from different sides. But I am +going to follow that naughty old general and catch him, I know +where, at a certain widow's house; for I think it will be a good +lesson, to put him to shame by catching him with the widow." + +"Oh, Lebedeff, don't, don't make any scandal about it!" said the +prince, much agitated, and speaking in a low voice. + +"Not for the world, not for the world! I merely wish to make him +ashamed of himself. Oh, prince, great though this misfortune be +to myself, I cannot help thinking of his morals! I have a great +favour to ask of you, esteemed prince; I confess that it is the +chief object of my visit. You know the Ivolgins, you have even +lived in their house; so if you would lend me your help, honoured +prince, in the general's own interest and for his good." + +Lebedeff clasped his hands in supplication. + +"What help do you want from me? You may be certain that I am most +anxious to understand you, Lebedeff." + +"I felt sure of that, or I should not have come to you. We might +manage it with the help of Nina Alexandrovna, so that he might be +closely watched in his own house. Unfortunately I am not on +terms ... otherwise ... but Nicolai Ardalionovitch, who +adores you with all his youthful soul, might help, too." + +"No, no! Heaven forbid that we should bring Nina Alexandrovna +into this business! Or Colia, either. But perhaps I have not yet +quite understood you, Lebedeff?" + +Lebedeff made an impatient movement. + +"But there is nothing to understand! Sympathy and tenderness, +that is all--that is all our poor invalid requires! You will +permit me to consider him an invalid?" + +"Yes, it shows delicacy and intelligence on your part." + +"I will explain my idea by a practical example, to make it +clearer. You know the sort of man he is. At present his only +failing is that he is crazy about that captain's widow, and he +cannot go to her without money, and I mean to catch him at her +house today--for his own good; but supposing it was not only the +widow, but that he had committed a real crime, or at least some +very dishonourable action (of which he is, of course, incapable), +I repeat that even in that case, if he were treated with what I +may call generous tenderness, one could get at the whole truth, +for he is very soft-hearted! Believe me, he would betray himself +before five days were out; he would burst into tears, and make a +clean breast of the matter; especially if managed with tact, and +if you and his family watched his every step, so to speak. Oh, my +dear prince," Lebedeff added most emphatically, "I do not +positively assert that he has ... I am ready, as the saying is, +to shed my last drop of blood for him this instant; but you will +admit that debauchery, drunkenness, and the captain's widow, all +these together may lead him very far." + +"I am, of course, quite ready to add my efforts to yours in such +a case," said the prince, rising; "but I confess, Lebedeff, that +I am terribly perplexed. Tell me, do you still think ... +plainly, you say yourself that you suspect Mr. Ferdishenko?" + +Lebedeff clasped his hands once more. + +"Why, who else could I possibly suspect? Who else, most outspoken +prince?" he replied, with an unctuous smile. + +Muishkin frowned, and rose from his seat. + +"You see, Lebedeff, a mistake here would be a dreadful thing. +This Ferdishenko, I would not say a word against him, of course; +but, who knows? Perhaps it really was he? I mean he really does +seem to be a more likely man than... than any other." + +Lebedeff strained his eyes and ears to take in what the prince +was saying. The latter was frowning more and more, and walking +excitedly up and down, trying not to look at Lebedeff. + +"You see," he said, "I was given to understand that Ferdishenko +was that sort of man,--that one can't say everything before him. +One has to take care not to say too much, you understand? I say +this to prove that he really is, so to speak, more likely to have +done this than anyone else, eh? You understand? The important +thing is, not to make a mistake." + +"And who told you this about Ferdishenko?" + +"Oh, I was told. Of course I don't altogether believe it. I am +very sorry that I should have had to say this, because I assure +you I don't believe it myself; it is all nonsense, of course. It +was stupid of me to say anything about it." + +"You see, it is very important, it is most important to know +where you got this report from," said Lebedeff, excitedly. He had +risen from his seat, and was trying to keep step with the prince, +running after him, up and down. "Because look here, prince, I +don't mind telling you now that as we were going along to +Wilkin's this morning, after telling me what you know about the +fire, and saving the count and all that, the general was pleased +to drop certain hints to the same effect about Ferdishenko, but +so vaguely and clumsily that I thought better to put a few +questions to him on the matter, with the result that I found the +whole thing was an invention of his excellency's own mind. Of +course, he only lies with the best intentions; still, he lies. +But, such being the case, where could you have heard the same +report? It was the inspiration of the moment with him, you +understand, so who could have told YOU? It is an important +question, you see!" + +"It was Colia told me, and his father told HIM at about six this +morning. They met at the threshold, when Colia was leaving the +room for something or other." The prince told Lebedeff all that +Colia had made known to himself, in detail. + +"There now, that's what we may call SCENT!" said Lebedeff, +rubbing his hands and laughing silently. "I thought it must be +so, you see. The general interrupted his innocent slumbers, at +six o'clock, in order to go and wake his beloved son, and warn +him of the dreadful danger of companionship with Ferdishenko. +Dear me! what a dreadfully dangerous man Ferdishenko must be, and +what touching paternal solicitude, on the part of his +excellency, ha! ha! ha!" + +"Listen, Lebedeff," began the prince, quite overwhelmed; "DO act +quietly--don't make a scandal, Lebedeff, I ask you--I entreat +you! No one must know--NO ONE, mind! In that case only, I will +help you." + +"Be assured, most honourable, most worthy of princes--be assured +that the whole matter shall be buried within my heart!" cried +Lebedeff, in a paroxysm of exaltation. "I'd give every drop of my +blood... Illustrious prince, I am a poor wretch in soul and +spirit, but ask the veriest scoundrel whether he would prefer to +deal with one like himself, or with a noble-hearted man like you, +and there is no doubt as to his choice! He'll answer that he +prefers the noble-hearted man--and there you have the triumph of +virtue! Au revoir, honoured prince! You and I together--softly! +softly!" + +X. + +THE prince understood at last why he shivered with dread every +time he thought of the three letters in his pocket, and why he +had put off reading them until the evening. + +When he fell into a heavy sleep on the sofa on the verandah, +without having had the courage to open a single one of the three +envelopes, he again dreamed a painful dream, and once more that +poor, "sinful" woman appeared to him. Again she gazed at him with +tears sparkling on her long lashes, and beckoned him after her; +and again he awoke, as before, with the picture of her face +haunting him. + +He longed to get up and go to her at once--but he COULD NOT. At +length, almost in despair, he unfolded the letters, and began to +read them. + +These letters, too, were like a dream. We sometimes have strange, +impossible dreams, contrary to all the laws of nature. When we +awake we remember them and wonder at their strangeness. You +remember, perhaps, that you were in full possession of your +reason during this succession of fantastic images; even that you +acted with extraordinary logic and cunning while surrounded by +murderers who hid their intentions and made great demonstrations +of friendship, while waiting for an opportunity to cut your +throat. You remember how you escaped them by some ingenious +stratagem; then you doubted if they were really deceived, or +whether they were only pretending not to know your hiding-place; +then you thought of another plan and hoodwinked them once again. +You remember all this quite clearly, but how is it that your +reason calmly accepted all the manifest absurdities and +impossibilities that crowded into your dream? One of the +murderers suddenly changed into a woman before your very eyes; +then the woman was transformed into a hideous, cunning little +dwarf; and you believed it, and accepted it all almost as a +matter of course--while at the same time your intelligence seemed +unusually keen, and accomplished miracles of cunning, sagacity, +and logic! Why is it that when you awake to the world of +realities you nearly always feel, sometimes very vividly, that +the vanished dream has carried with it some enigma which you have +failed to solve? You smile at the extravagance of your dream, and +yet you feel that this tissue of absurdity contained some real +idea, something that belongs to your true life,--something that +exists, and has always existed, in your heart. You search your +dream for some prophecy that you were expecting. It has left a +deep impression upon you, joyful or cruel, but what it means, or +what has been predicted to you in it, you can neither understand +nor remember. + +The reading of these letters produced some such effect upon the +prince. He felt, before he even opened the envelopes, that the +very fact of their existence was like a nightmare. How could she +ever have made up her mind to write to her? he asked himself. How +could she write about that at all? And how could such a wild idea +have entered her head? And yet, the strangest part of the matter +was, that while he read the letters, he himself almost believed +in the possibility, and even in the justification, of the idea he +had thought so wild. Of course it was a mad dream, a nightmare, +and yet there was something cruelly real about it. For hours he +was haunted by what he had read. Several passages returned again +and again to his mind, and as he brooded over them, he felt +inclined to say to himself that he had foreseen and known all +that was written here; it even seemed to him that he had read the +whole of this some time or other, long, long ago; and all that +had tormented and grieved him up to now was to be found in these +old, long since read, letters. + +"When you open this letter" (so the first began), "look first at +the signature. The signature will tell you all, so that I need +explain nothing, nor attempt to justify myself. Were I in any way +on a footing with you, you might be offended at my audacity; but +who am I, and who are you? We are at such extremes, and I am so +far removed from you, that I could not offend you if I wished to +do so." + +Farther on, in another place, she wrote: "Do not consider my +words as the sickly ecstasies of a diseased mind, but you are, in +my opinion--perfection! I have seen you--I see you every day. I +do not judge you; I have not weighed you in the scales of Reason +and found you Perfection--it is simply an article of faith. But I +must confess one sin against you--I love you. One should not love +perfection. One should only look on it as perfection--yet I am in +love with you. Though love equalizes, do not fear. I have not +lowered you to my level, even in my most secret thoughts. I have +written 'Do not fear,' as if you could fear. I would kiss your +footprints if I could; but, oh! I am not putting myself on a +level with you!--Look at the signature--quick, look at the +signature!" + +"However, observe" (she wrote in another of the letters), "that +although I couple you with him, yet I have not once asked you +whether you love him. He fell in love with you, though he saw you +but once. He spoke of you as of 'the light.' These are his own +words--I heard him use them. But I understood without his saying +it that you were all that light is to him. I lived near him for a +whole month, and I understood then that you, too, must love him. +I think of you and him as one." + +"What was the matter yesterday?" (she wrote on another sheet). "I +passed by you, and you seemed to me to BLUSH. Perhaps it was only +my fancy. If I were to bring you to the most loathsome den, and +show you the revelation of undisguised vice--you should not +blush. You can never feel the sense of personal affront. You may +hate all who are mean, or base, or unworthy--but not for +yourself--only for those whom they wrong. No one can wrong YOU. +Do you know, I think you ought to love me--for you are the same +in my eyes as in his-you are as light. An angel cannot hate, +perhaps cannot love, either. I often ask myself--is it possible +to love everybody? Indeed it is not; it is not in nature. +Abstract love of humanity is nearly always love of self. But you +are different. You cannot help loving all, since you can compare +with none, and are above all personal offence or anger. Oh! how +bitter it would be to me to know that you felt anger or shame on +my account, for that would be your fall--you would become +comparable at once with such as me. + +"Yesterday, after seeing you, I went home and thought out a +picture. + +"Artists always draw the Saviour as an actor in one of the Gospel +stories. I should do differently. I should represent Christ +alone--the disciples did leave Him alone occasionally. I should +paint one little child left with Him. This child has been playing +about near Him, and had probably just been telling the Saviour +something in its pretty baby prattle. Christ had listened to it, +but was now musing--one hand reposing on the child's bright head. +His eyes have a far-away expression. Thought, great as the +Universe, is in them--His face is sad. The little one leans its +elbow upon Christ's knee, and with its cheek resting on its hand, +gazes up at Him, pondering as children sometimes do ponder. The +sun is setting. There you have my picture. + +"You are innocent--and in your innocence lies all your +perfection--oh, remember that! What is my passion to you?--you +are mine now; I shall be near you all my life--I shall not live +long!" + +At length, in the last letter of all, he found: + +"For Heaven's sake, don't misunderstand me! Do not think that I +humiliate myself by writing thus to you, or that I belong to that +class of people who take a satisfaction in humiliating +themselves--from pride. I have my consolation, though it would be +difficult to explain it--but I do not humiliate myself. + +"Why do I wish to unite you two? For your sakes or my own? For my +own sake, naturally. All the problems of my life would thus be +solved; I have thought so for a long time. I know that once when +your sister Adelaida saw my portrait she said that such beauty +could overthrow the world. But I have renounced the world. You +think it strange that I should say so, for you saw me decked with +lace and diamonds, in the company of drunkards and wastrels. Take +no notice of that; I know that I have almost ceased to exist. God +knows what it is dwelling within me now--it is not myself. I can +see it every day in two dreadful eyes which are always looking at +me, even when not present. These eyes are silent now, they say +nothing; but I know their secret. His house is gloomy, and there +is a secret in it. I am convinced that in some box he has a razor +hidden, tied round with silk, just like the one that Moscow +murderer had. This man also lived with his mother, and had a +razor hidden away, tied round with white silk, and with this +razor he intended to cut a throat. + +"All the while I was in their house I felt sure that somewhere +beneath the floor there was hidden away some dreadful corpse, +wrapped in oil-cloth, perhaps buried there by his father, who +knows? Just as in the Moscow case. I could have shown you the +very spot! + +"He is always silent, but I know well that he loves me so much +that he must hate me. My wedding and yours are to be on the same +day; so I have arranged with him. I have no secrets from him. I +would kill him from very fright, but he will kill me first. He +has just burst out laughing, and says that I am raving. He knows +I am writing to you." + +There was much more of this delirious wandering in the letters-- +one of them was very long. + +At last the prince came out of the dark, gloomy park, in which he +had wandered about for hours just as yesterday. The bright night +seemed to him to be lighter than ever. "It must be quite early," +he thought. (He had forgotten his watch.) There was a sound of +distant music somewhere. "Ah," he thought, "the Vauxhall! They +won't be there today, of course!" At this moment he noticed that +he was close to their house; he had felt that he must gravitate +to this spot eventually, and, with a beating heart, he mounted +the verandah steps. + +No one met him; the verandah was empty, and nearly pitch dark. He +opened the door into the room, but it, too, was dark and empty. +He stood in the middle of the room in perplexity. Suddenly the +door opened, and in came Alexandra, candle in hand. Seeing the +prince she stopped before him in surprise, looking at him +questioningly. + +It was clear that she had been merely passing through the room +from door to door, and had not had the remotest notion that she +would meet anyone. + +"How did you come here?" she asked, at last. + +"I-I--came in--" + +"Mamma is not very well, nor is Aglaya. Adelaida has gone to bed, +and I am just going. We were alone the whole evening. Father and +Prince S. have gone to town." + +"I have come to you--now--to--" + +"Do you know what time it is?" + +"N--no!" + +"Half-past twelve. We are always in bed by one." + +"I-I thought it was half-past nine!" + +"Never mind!" she laughed, "but why didn't you come earlier? +Perhaps you were expected!" + +"I thought" he stammered, making for the door. + +"Au revoir! I shall amuse them all with this story tomorrow!" + +He walked along the road towards his own house. His heart was +beating, his thoughts were confused, everything around seemed to +be part of a dream. + +And suddenly, just as twice already he had awaked from sleep with +the same vision, that very apparition now seemed to rise up +before him. The woman appeared to step out from the park, and +stand in the path in front of him, as though she had been waiting +for him there. + +He shuddered and stopped; she seized his hand and pressed it +frenziedly. + +No, this was no apparition! + +There she stood at last, face to face with him, for the first +time since their parting. + +She said something, but he looked silently back at her. His heart +ached with anguish. Oh! never would he banish the recollection of +this meeting with her, and he never remembered it but with the +same pain and agony of mind. + +She went on her knees before him--there in the open road--like a +madwoman. He retreated a step, but she caught his hand and kissed +it, and, just as in his dream, the tears were sparkling on her +long, beautiful lashes. + +"Get up!" he said, in a frightened whisper, raising her. "Get up +at once!" + +"Are you happy--are you happy?" she asked. "Say this one word. +Are you happy now? Today, this moment? Have you just been with +her? What did she say?" + +She did not rise from her knees; she would not listen to him; she +put her questions hurriedly, as though she were pursued. + +"I am going away tomorrow, as you bade me--I won't write--so +that this is the last time I shall see you, the last time! This +is really the LAST TIME!" + +"Oh, be calm--be calm! Get up!" he entreated, in despair. + +She gazed thirstily at him and clutched his hands. + +"Good-bye!" she said at last, and rose and left him, very +quickly. + +The prince noticed that Rogojin had suddenly appeared at her +side, and had taken her arm and was leading her away. + +"Wait a minute, prince," shouted the latter, as he went. "I shall +be back in five minutes." + +He reappeared in five minutes as he had said. The prince was +waiting for him. + +"I've put her in the carriage," he said; "it has been waiting +round the corner there since ten o'clock. She expected that you +would be with THEM all the evening. I told her exactly what you +wrote me. She won't write to the girl any more, she promises; and +tomorrow she will be off, as you wish. She desired to see you +for the last time, although you refused, so we've been sitting +and waiting on that bench till you should pass on your way home." + +"Did she bring you with her of her own accord?" + +"Of course she did!" said Rogojin, showing his teeth; "and I saw +for myself what I knew before. You've read her letters, I +suppose?" + +"Did you read them?" asked the prince, struck by the thought. + +"Of course--she showed them to me herself. You are thinking of +the razor, eh? Ha, ha, ha!" + +"Oh, she is mad!" cried the prince, wringing his hands. "Who +knows? Perhaps she is not so mad after all," said Rogojin, +softly, as though thinking aloud. + +The prince made no reply. + +"Well, good-bye," said Rogojin. "I'm off tomorrow too, you know. +Remember me kindly! By-the-by," he added, turning round sharply +again, "did you answer her question just now? Are you happy, or +not?" + +"No, no, no!" cried the prince, with unspeakable sadness. + +"Ha, ha! I never supposed you would say 'yes,'" cried Rogojin, +laughing sardonically. + +And he disappeared, without looking round again. + + +PART IV + +I. + +A WEEK had elapsed since the rendezvous of our two friends on the +green bench in the park, when, one fine morning at about half- +past ten o'clock, Varvara Ardalionovna, otherwise Mrs. Ptitsin, +who had been out to visit a friend, returned home in a state of +considerable mental depression. + +There are certain people of whom it is difficult to say anything +which will at once throw them into relief--in other words, +describe them graphically in their typical characteristics. These +are they who are generally known as "commonplace people," and this +class comprises, of course, the immense majority of mankind. +Authors, as a rule, attempt to select and portray types rarely +met with in their entirety, but these types are nevertheless more +real than real life itself. + +"Podkoleosin" [A character in Gogol's comedy, The Wedding.] was +perhaps an exaggeration, but he was by no means a non-existent +character; on the contrary, how many intelligent people, after +hearing of this Podkoleosin from Gogol, immediately began to find +that scores of their friends were exactly like him! They knew, +perhaps, before Gogol told them, that their friends were like +Podkoleosin, but they did not know what name to give them. In +real life, young fellows seldom jump out of the window just +before their weddings, because such a feat, not to speak of its +other aspects, must be a decidedly unpleasant mode of escape; and +yet there are plenty of bridegrooms, intelligent fellows too, who +would be ready to confess themselves Podkoleosins in the depths +of their consciousness, just before marriage. Nor does every +husband feel bound to repeat at every step, "Tu l'as voulu, +Georges Dandin!" like another typical personage; and yet how many +millions and billions of Georges Dandins there are in real life +who feel inclined to utter this soul-drawn cry after their +honeymoon, if not the day after the wedding! Therefore, without +entering into any more serious examination of the question, I +will content myself with remarking that in real life typical +characters are "watered down," so to speak; and all these Dandins +and Podkoleosins actually exist among us every day, but in a +diluted form. I will just add, however, that Georges Dandin might +have existed exactly as Moliere presented him, and probably does +exist now and then, though rarely; and so I will end this +scientific examination, which is beginning to look like a +newspaper criticism. But for all this, the question remains,-- +what are the novelists to do with commonplace people, and how are +they to be presented to the reader in such a form as to be in the +least degree interesting? They cannot be left out altogether, for +commonplace people meet one at every turn of life, and to leave +them out would be to destroy the whole reality and probability of +the story. To fill a novel with typical characters only, or with +merely strange and uncommon people, would render the book unreal +and improbable, and would very likely destroy the interest. In my +opinion, the duty of the novelist is to seek out points of +interest and instruction even in the characters of commonplace +people. + +For instance, when the whole essence of an ordinary person's +nature lies in his perpetual and unchangeable commonplaceness; +and when in spite of all his endeavours to do something out of +the common, this person ends, eventually, by remaining in his +unbroken line of routine--. I think such an individual really +does become a type of his own--a type of commonplaceness which +will not for the world, if it can help it, be contented, but +strains and yearns to be something original and independent, +without the slightest possibility of being so. To this class of +commonplace people belong several characters in this novel;-- +characters which--I admit--I have not drawn very vividly up to +now for my reader's benefit. + +Such were, for instance, Varvara Ardalionovna Ptitsin, her +husband, and her brother, Gania. + +There is nothing so annoying as to be fairly rich, of a fairly +good family, pleasing presence, average education, to be "not +stupid," kind-hearted, and yet to have no talent at all, no +originality, not a single idea of one's own--to be, in fact, +"just like everyone else." + +Of such people there are countless numbers in this world--far +more even than appear. They can be divided into two classes as +all men can--that is, those of limited intellect, and those who +are much cleverer. The former of these classes is the happier. + +To a commonplace man of limited intellect, for instance, nothing +is simpler than to imagine himself an original character, and to +revel in that belief without the slightest misgiving. + +Many of our young women have thought fit to cut their hair short, +put on blue spectacles, and call themselves Nihilists. By doing +this they have been able to persuade themselves, without further +trouble, that they have acquired new convictions of their own. +Some men have but felt some little qualm of kindness towards +their fellow-men, and the fact has been quite enough to persuade +them that they stand alone in the van of enlightenment and that +no one has such humanitarian feelings as they. Others have but to +read an idea of somebody else's, and they can immediately +assimilate it and believe that it was a child of their own brain. +The "impudence of ignorance," if I may use the expression, is +developed to a wonderful extent in such cases;--unlikely as it +appears, it is met with at every turn. + +This confidence of a stupid man in his own talents has been +wonderfully depicted by Gogol in the amazing character of +Pirogoff. Pirogoff has not the slightest doubt of his own +genius,--nay, of his SUPERIORITY of genius,--so certain is he of +it that he never questions it. How many Pirogoffs have there not +been among our writers--scholars--propagandists? I say "have +been," but indeed there are plenty of them at this very day. + +Our friend, Gania, belonged to the other class--to the "much +cleverer" persons, though he was from head to foot permeated and +saturated with the longing to be original. This class, as I have +said above, is far less happy. For the "clever commonplace" +person, though he may possibly imagine himself a man of genius +and originality, none the less has within his heart the deathless +worm of suspicion and doubt; and this doubt sometimes brings a +clever man to despair. (As a rule, however, nothing tragic +happens;--his liver becomes a little damaged in the course of +time, nothing more serious. Such men do not give up their +aspirations after originality without a severe struggle,--and +there have been men who, though good fellows in themselves, and +even benefactors to humanity, have sunk to the level of base +criminals for the sake of originality. + +Gania was a beginner, as it were, upon this road. A deep and +unchangeable consciousness of his own lack of talent, combined +with a vast longing to be able to persuade himself that he was +original, had rankled in his heart, even from childhood. + +He seemed to have been born with overwrought nerves, and in his +passionate desire to excel, he was often led to the brink of some +rash step; and yet, having resolved upon such a step, when the +moment arrived, he invariably proved too sensible to take it. He +was ready, in the same way, to do a base action in order to +obtain his wished-for object; and yet, when the moment came to do +it, he found that he was too honest for any great baseness. (Not +that he objected to acts of petty meanness--he was always ready +for THEM.) He looked with hate and loathing on the poverty and +downfall of his family, and treated his mother with haughty +contempt, although he knew that his whole future depended on her +character and reputation. + +Aglaya had simply frightened him; yet he did not give up all +thoughts of her--though he never seriously hoped that she would +condescend to him. At the time of his "adventure" with Nastasia +Philipovna he had come to the conclusion that money was his only +hope--money should do all for him. + +At the moment when he lost Aglaya, and after the scene with +Nastasia, he had felt so low in his own eyes that he actually +brought the money back to the prince. Of this returning of the +money given to him by a madwoman who had received it from a +madman, he had often repented since--though he never ceased to be +proud of his action. During the short time that Muishkin remained +in Petersburg Gania had had time to come to hate him for his +sympathy, though the prince told him that it was "not everyone +who would have acted so nobly" as to return the money. He had +long pondered, too, over his relations with Aglaya, and had +persuaded himself that with such a strange, childish, innocent +character as hers, things might have ended very differently. +Remorse then seized him; he threw up his post, and buried himself +in self-torment and reproach. + +He lived at Ptitsin's, and openly showed contempt for the latter, +though he always listened to his advice, and was sensible enough +to ask for it when he wanted it. Gavrila Ardalionovitch was angry +with Ptitsin because the latter did not care to become a +Rothschild. "If you are to be a Jew," he said, "do it properly-- +squeeze people right and left, show some character; be the King +of the Jews while you are about it." + +Ptitsin was quiet and not easily offended--he only laughed. But +on one occasion he explained seriously to Gania that he was no +Jew, that he did nothing dishonest, that he could not help the +market price of money, that, thanks to his accurate habits, he +had already a good footing and was respected, and that his +business was flourishing. + +"I shan't ever be a Rothschild, and there is no reason why I +should," he added, smiling; "but I shall have a house in the +Liteynaya, perhaps two, and that will be enough for me." "Who +knows but what I may have three!" he concluded to himself; but +this dream, cherished inwardly, he never confided to a soul. + +Nature loves and favours such people. Ptitsin will certainly have +his reward, not three houses, but four, precisely because from +childhood up he had realized that he would never be a Rothschild. +That will be the limit of Ptitsin's fortune, and, come what may, +he will never have more than four houses. + +Varvara Ardalionovna was not like her brother. She too, had +passionate desires, but they were persistent rather than +impetuous. Her plans were as wise as her methods of carrying them +out. No doubt she also belonged to the category of ordinary +people who dream of being original, but she soon discovered that +she had not a grain of true originality, and she did not let it +trouble her too much. Perhaps a certain kind of pride came to her +help. She made her first concession to the demands of practical +life with great resolution when she consented to marry Ptitsin. +However, when she married she did not say to herself, "Never mind +a mean action if it leads to the end in view," as her brother +would certainly have said in such a case; it is quite probable +that he may have said it when he expressed his elder-brotherly +satisfaction at her decision. Far from this; Varvara Ardalionovna +did not marry until she felt convinced that her future husband +was unassuming, agreeable, almost cultured, and that nothing on +earth would tempt him to a really dishonourable deed. As to small +meannesses, such trifles did not trouble her. Indeed, who is free +from them? It is absurd to expect the ideal! Besides, she knew +that her marriage would provide a refuge for all her family. +Seeing Gania unhappy, she was anxious to help him, in spite of +their former disputes and misunderstandings. Ptitsin, in a +friendly way, would press his brother-in-law to enter the army. +"You know," he said sometimes, jokingly, "you despise generals +and generaldom, but you will see that 'they' will all end by +being generals in their turn. You will see it if you live long +enough!" + +"But why should they suppose that I despise generals?" Gania +thought sarcastically to himself. + +To serve her brother's interests, Varvara Ardalionovna was +constantly at the Epanchins' house, helped by the fact that in +childhood she and Gania had played with General Ivan +Fedorovitch's daughters. It would have been inconsistent with her +character if in these visits she had been pursuing a chimera; her +project was not chimerical at all; she was building on a firm +basis--on her knowledge of the character of the Epanchin family, +especially Aglaya, whom she studied closely. All Varvara's +efforts were directed towards bringing Aglaya and Gania together. +Perhaps she achieved some result; perhaps, also, she made the +mistake of depending too much upon her brother, and expecting +more from him than he would ever be capable of giving. However +this may be, her manoeuvres were skilful enough. For weeks at a +time she would never mention Gania. Her attitude was modest but +dignified, and she was always extremely truthful and sincere. +Examining the depths of her conscience, she found nothing to +reproach herself with, and this still further strengthened her in +her designs. But Varvara Ardalionovna sometimes remarked that she +felt spiteful; that there was a good deal of vanity in her, +perhaps even of wounded vanity. She noticed this at certain times +more than at others, and especially after her visits to the +Epanchins. + +Today, as I have said, she returned from their house with a +heavy feeling of dejection. There was a sensation of bitterness, +a sort of mocking contempt, mingled with it. + +Arrived at her own house, Varia heard a considerable commotion +going on in the upper storey, and distinguished the voices of her +father and brother. On entering the salon she found Gania pacing +up and down at frantic speed, pale with rage and almost tearing +his hair. She frowned, and subsided on to the sofa with a tired +air, and without taking the trouble to remove her hat. She very +well knew that if she kept quiet and asked her brother nothing +about his reason for tearing up and down the room, his wrath +would fall upon her head. So she hastened to put the question: + +"The old story, eh?" + +"Old story? No! Heaven knows what's up now--I don't! Father has +simply gone mad; mother's in floods of tears. Upon my word, +Varia, I must kick him out of the house; or else go myself," he +added, probably remembering that he could not well turn people +out of a house which was not his own. + +"You must make allowances," murmured Varia. + +"Make allowances? For whom? Him--the old blackguard? No, no, +Varia--that won't do! It won't do, I tell you! And look at the +swagger of the man! He's all to blame himself, and yet he puts on +so much 'side' that you'd think--my word!--'It's too much +trouble to go through the gate, you must break the fence for me!' +That's the sort of air he puts on; but what's the matter with +you, Varia? What a curious expression you have!" + +"I'm all right," said Varia, in a tone that sounded as though she +were all wrong. + +Gania looked more intently at her. + +"You've been THERE?" he asked, suddenly. + +"Yes." + +"Did you find out anything?" + +"Nothing unexpected. I discovered that it's all true. My husband +was wiser than either of us. Just as he suspected from the +beginning, so it has fallen out. Where is he?" + +"Out. Well--what has happened?--go on." + +"The prince is formally engaged to her--that's settled. The elder +sisters told me about it. Aglaya has agreed. They don't attempt +to conceal it any longer; you know how mysterious and secret they +have all been up to now. Adelaida's wedding is put off again, so +that both can be married on one day. Isn't that delightfully +romantic? Somebody ought to write a poem on it. Sit down and +write an ode instead of tearing up and down like that. This +evening Princess Bielokonski is to arrive; she comes just in +time--they have a party tonight. He is to be presented to old +Bielokonski, though I believe he knows her already; probably the +engagement will be openly announced. They are only afraid that he +may knock something down, or trip over something when he comes +into the room. It would be just like him." + +Gania listened attentively, but to his sister's astonishment he +was by no means so impressed by this news (which should, she +thought, have been so important to him) as she had expected. + +"Well, it was clear enough all along," he said, after a moment's +reflection. "So that's the end," he added, with a disagreeable +smile, continuing to walk up and down the room, but much slower +than before, and glancing slyly into his sister's face. + +"It's a good thing that you take it philosophically, at all +events," said Varia. "I'm really very glad of it." + +"Yes, it's off our hands--off YOURS, I should say." + +"I think I have served you faithfully. I never even asked you +what happiness you expected to find with Aglaya." + +"Did I ever expect to find happiness with Aglaya?" + +"Come, come, don't overdo your philosophy. Of course you did. Now +it's all over, and a good thing, too; pair of fools that we have +been! I confess I have never been able to look at it seriously. I +busied myself in it for your sake, thinking that there was no +knowing what might happen with a funny girl like that to deal +with. There were ninety to one chances against it. To this moment +I can't make out why you wished for it." + +"H'm! now, I suppose, you and your husband will never weary of +egging me on to work again. You'll begin your lectures about +perseverance and strength of will, and all that. I know it all by +heart," said Gania, laughing. + +"He's got some new idea in his head," thought Varia. "Are they +pleased over there--the parents?" asked Gania, suddenly. + +"N--no, I don't think they are. You can judge for yourself. I +think the general is pleased enough; her mother is a little +uneasy. She always loathed the idea of the prince as a HUSBAND; +everybody knows that." + +"Of course, naturally. The bridegroom is an impossible and +ridiculous one. I mean, has SHE given her formal consent?" + +"She has not said 'no,' up to now, and that's all. It was sure to +be so with her. You know what she is like. You know how absurdly +shy she is. You remember how she used to hide in a cupboard as a +child, so as to avoid seeing visitors, for hours at a time. She +is just the same now; but, do you know, I think there is +something serious in the matter, even from her side; I feel it, +somehow. She laughs at the prince, they say, from morn to night +in order to hide her real feelings; but you may be sure she finds +occasion to say something or other to him on the sly, for he +himself is in a state of radiant happiness. He walks in the +clouds; they say he is extremely funny just now; I heard it from +themselves. They seemed to be laughing at me in their sleeves-- +those elder girls--I don't know why." + +Gania had begun to frown, and probably Varia added this last +sentence in order to probe his thought. However, at this moment, +the noise began again upstairs. + +"I'll turn him out!" shouted Gania, glad of the opportunity of +venting his vexation. "I shall just turn him out--we can't have +this." + +"Yes, and then he'll go about the place and disgrace us as he did +yesterday." + +"How 'as he did yesterday'? What do you mean? What did he do +yesterday?" asked Gania, in alarm. + +"Why, goodness me, don't you know?" Varia stopped short. + +"What? You don't mean to say that he went there yesterday!" cried +Gania, flushing red with shame and anger. "Good heavens, Varia! +Speak! You have just been there. WAS he there or not, QUICK?" And +Gania rushed for the door. Varia followed and caught him by both +hands. + +"What are you doing? Where are you going to? You can't let him go +now; if you do he'll go and do something worse." + +"What did he do there? What did he say?" "They couldn't tell me +themselves; they couldn't make head or tail of it; but he +frightened them all. He came to see the general, who was not at +home; so he asked for Lizabetha Prokofievna. First of all, he +begged her for some place, or situation, for work of some kind, +and then he began to complain about US, about me and my husband, +and you, especially YOU; he said a lot of things." + +"Oh! couldn't you find out?" muttered Gania, trembling +hysterically. + +"No--nothing more than that. Why, they couldn't understand him +themselves; and very likely didn't tell me all." + +Gania seized his head with both hands and tottered to the window; +Varia sat down at the other window. + +"Funny girl, Aglaya," she observed, after a pause. "When she left +me she said, 'Give my special and personal respects to your +parents; I shall certainly find an opportunity to see your father +one day,' and so serious over it. She's a strange creature." + +"Wasn't she joking? She was speaking sarcastically!" "Not a bit of +it; that's just the strange part of it." + +"Does she know about father, do you think--or not?" + +"That they do NOT know about it in the house is quite certain, +the rest of them, I mean; but you have given me an idea. Aglaya +perhaps knows. She alone, though, if anyone; for the sisters were +as astonished as I was to hear her speak so seriously. If she +knows, the prince must have told her." + +"Oh! it's not a great matter to guess who told her. A thief! A +thief in our family, and the head of the family, too!" + +"Oh! nonsense!" cried Varia, angrily. "That was nothing but a +drunkard's tale. Nonsense! Why, who invented the whole thing-- +Lebedeff and the prince--a pretty pair! Both were probably +drunk." + +"Father is a drunkard and a thief; I am a beggar, and the husband +of my sister is a usurer," continued Gania, bitterly. "There was +a pretty list of advantages with which to enchant the heart of +Aglaya." + +"That same husband of your sister, the usurer--" + +"Feeds me? Go on. Don't stand on ceremony, pray." + +"Don't lose your temper. You are just like a schoolboy. You think +that all this sort of thing would harm you in Aglaya's eyes, do +you? You little know her character. She is capable of refusing +the most brilliant party, and running away and starving in a +garret with some wretched student; that's the sort of girl she +is. You never could or did understand how interesting you would +have seen in her eyes if you had come firmly and proudly through +our misfortunes. The prince has simply caught her with hook and +line; firstly, because he never thought of fishing for her, and +secondly, because he is an idiot in the eyes of most people. It's +quite enough for her that by accepting him she puts her family +out and annoys them all round--that's what she likes. You don't +understand these things." + +"We shall see whether I understand or no!" said Gania, +enigmatically. "But I shouldn't like her to know all about +father, all the same. I thought the prince would manage to hold +his tongue about this, at least. He prevented Lebedeff spreading +the news--he wouldn't even tell me all when I asked him--" + +"Then you must see that he is not responsible. What does it +matter to you now, in any case? What are you hoping for still? If +you HAVE a hope left, it is that your suffering air may soften +her heart towards you." + +"Oh, she would funk a scandal like anyone else. You are all +tarred with one brush!" + +"What! AGLAYA would have funked? You are a chicken-hearted +fellow, Gania!" said Varia, looking at her brother with contempt. +"Not one of us is worth much. Aglaya may be a wild sort of a +girl, but she is far nobler than any of us, a thousand times +nobler!" + +"Well--come! there's nothing to get cross about," said Gania. + +"All I'm afraid of is--mother. I'm afraid this scandal about +father may come to her ears; perhaps it has already. I am +dreadfully afraid." + +"It undoubtedly has already!" observed Gania. + +Varia had risen from her place and had started to go upstairs to +her mother; but at this observation of Gania's she turned and +gazed at him attentively. + +"Who could have told her?" + +"Hippolyte, probably. He would think it the most delightful +amusement in the world to tell her of it the instant he moved +over here; I haven't a doubt of it." + +"But how could he know anything of it? Tell me that. Lebedeff and +the prince determined to tell no one--even Colia knows nothing." + +"What, Hippolyte? He found it out himself, of course. Why, you +have no idea what a cunning little animal he is; dirty little +gossip! He has the most extraordinary nose for smelling out other +people's secrets, or anything approaching to scandal. Believe it +or not, but I'm pretty sure he has got round Aglaya. If he +hasn't, he soon will. Rogojin is intimate with him, too. How the +prince doesn't notice it, I can't understand. The little wretch +considers me his enemy now and does his best to catch me +tripping. What on earth does it matter to him, when he's dying? +However, you'll see; I shall catch HIM tripping yet, and not he +me." + +"Why did you get him over here, if you hate him so? And is it +really worth your while to try to score off him?" + +"Why, it was yourself who advised me to bring him over!" + +"I thought he might be useful. You know he is in love with Aglaya +himself, now, and has written to her; he has even written to +Lizabetha Prokofievna!" + +"Oh! he's not dangerous there!" cried Gania, laughing angrily. +"However, I believe there is something of that sort in the air; +he is very likely to be in love, for he is a mere boy. But he +won't write anonymous letters to the old lady; that would be too +audacious a thing for him to attempt; but I dare swear the very +first thing he did was to show me up to Aglaya as a base deceiver +and intriguer. I confess I was fool enough to attempt something +through him at first. I thought he would throw himself into my +service out of revengeful feelings towards the prince, the sly +little beast! But I know him better now. As for the theft, he may +have heard of it from the widow in Petersburg, for if the old man +committed himself to such an act, he can have done it for no +other object but to give the money to her. Hippolyte said to me, +without any prelude, that the general had promised the widow four +hundred roubles. Of course I understood, and the little wretch +looked at me with a nasty sort of satisfaction. I know him; you +may depend upon it he went and told mother too, for the pleasure +of wounding her. And why doesn't he die, I should like to know? +He undertook to die within three weeks, and here he is getting +fatter. His cough is better, too. It was only yesterday that he +said that was the second day he hadn't coughed blood." + +"Well, turn him out!" + +"I don't HATE, I despise him," said Gania, grandly. "Well, I do +hate him, if you like!" he added, with a sudden access of rage, +"and I'll tell him so to his face, even when he's dying! If you +had but read his confession--good Lord! what refinement of +impudence! Oh, but I'd have liked to whip him then and there, +like a schoolboy, just to see how surprised he would have been! +Now he hates everybody because he--Oh, I say, what on earth are +they doing there! Listen to that noise! I really can't stand this +any longer. Ptitsin!" he cried, as the latter entered the room, +"what in the name of goodness are we coming to? Listen to that--" + +But the noise came rapidly nearer, the door burst open, and old +General Ivolgin, raging, furious, purple-faced, and trembling +with anger, rushed in. He was followed by Nina Alexandrovna, +Colia, and behind the rest, Hippolyte. + +II. + +HIPPOLYTE had now been five days at the Ptitsins'. His flitting +from the prince's to these new quarters had been brought about +quite naturally and without many words. He did not quarrel with +the prince--in fact, they seemed to part as friends. Gania, who +had been hostile enough on that eventful evening, had himself +come to see him a couple of days later, probably in obedience to +some sudden impulse. For some reason or other, Rogojin too had +begun to visit the sick boy. The prince thought it might be +better for him to move away from his (the prince's) house. +Hippolyte informed him, as he took his leave, that Ptitsin "had +been kind enough to offer him a corner," and did not say a word +about Gania, though Gania had procured his invitation, and +himself came to fetch him away. Gania noticed this at the time, +and put it to Hippolyte's debit on account. + +Gania was right when he told his sister that Hippolyte was +getting better; that he was better was clear at the first glance. +He entered the room now last of all, deliberately, and with a +disagreeable smile on his lips. + +Nina Alexandrovna came in, looking frightened. She had changed +much since we last saw her, half a year ago, and had grown thin +and pale. Colia looked worried and perplexed. He could not +understand the vagaries of the general, and knew nothing of the +last achievement of that worthy, which had caused so much +commotion in the house. But he could see that his father had of +late changed very much, and that he had begun to behave in so +extraordinary a fashion both at home and abroad that he was not +like the same man. What perplexed and disturbed him as much as +anything was that his father had entirely given up drinking +during the last few days. Colia knew that he had quarrelled with +both Lebedeff and the prince, and had just bought a small bottle +of vodka and brought it home for his father. + +"Really, mother," he had assured Nina Alexandrovna upstairs, +"really you had better let him drink. He has not had a drop for +three days; he must be suffering agonies--The general now entered +the room, threw the door wide open, and stood on the threshold +trembling with indignation. + +"Look here, my dear sir," he began, addressing Ptitsin in a very +loud tone of voice; "if you have really made up your mind to +sacrifice an old man--your father too or at all events father of +your wife--an old man who has served his emperor--to a wretched +little atheist like this, all I can say is, sir, my foot shall +cease to tread your floors. Make your choice, sir; make your +choice quickly, if you please! Me or this--screw! Yes, screw, +sir; I said it accidentally, but let the word stand--this screw, +for he screws and drills himself into my soul--" + +"Hadn't you better say corkscrew?" said Hippolyte. + +"No, sir, NOT corkscrew. I am a general, not a bottle, sir. Make +your choice, sir--me or him." + +Here Colia handed him a chair, and he subsided into it, +breathless with rage. + +"Hadn't you better--better--take a nap?" murmured the stupefied +Ptitsin. + +"A nap?" shrieked the general. "I am not drunk, sir; you insult +me! I see," he continued, rising, "I see that all are against me +here. Enough--I go; but know, sirs--know that--" + +He was not allowed to finish his sentence. Somebody pushed him +back into his chair, and begged him to be calm. Nina Alexandrovna +trembled, and cried quietly. Gania retired to the window in +disgust. + +"But what have I done? What is his grievance?" asked Hippolyte, +grinning. + +"What have you done, indeed?" put in Nina Alexandrovna. "You +ought to be ashamed of yourself, teasing an old man like that-- +and in your position, too." + +"And pray what IS my position, madame? I have the greatest +respect for you, personally; but--" + +"He's a little screw," cried the general; "he drills holes my +heart and soul. He wishes me to be a pervert to atheism. Know, +you young greenhorn, that I was covered with honours before ever +you were born; and you are nothing better than a wretched little +worm, torn in two with coughing, and dying slowly of your own +malice and unbelief. What did Gavrila bring you over here for? +They're all against me, even to my own son--all against me." + +"Oh, come--nonsense!" cried Gania; "if you did not go shaming us +all over the town, things might be better for all parties." + +"What--shame you? I?--what do you mean, you young calf? I shame +you? I can only do you honour, sir; I cannot shame you." + +He jumped up from his chair in a fit of uncontrollable rage. +Gania was very angry too. + +"Honour, indeed!" said the latter, with contempt. + +"What do you say, sir?" growled the general, taking a step +towards him. + +"I say that I have but to open my mouth, and you--" + +Gania began, but did not finish. The two--father and son--stood +before one another, both unspeakably agitated, especially Gania. + +"Gania, Gania, reflect!" cried his mother, hurriedly. + +"It's all nonsense on both sides," snapped out Varia. "Let them +alone, mother." + +"It's only for mother's sake that I spare him," said Gania, +tragically. + +"Speak!" said the general, beside himself with rage and +excitement; "speak--under the penalty of a father's curse + +"Oh, father's curse be hanged--you don't frighten me that way!" +said Gania. "Whose fault is it that you have been as mad as a +March hare all this week? It is just a week--you see, I count the +days. Take care now; don't provoke me too much, or I'll tell all. +Why did you go to the Epanchins' yesterday--tell me that? And you +call yourself an old man, too, with grey hair, and father of a +family! H'm--nice sort of a father." + +"Be quiet, Gania," cried Colia. "Shut up, you fool!" + +"Yes, but how have I offended him?" repeated Hippolyte, still +in the same jeering voice. " Why does he call me a screw? You all +heard it. He came to me himself and began telling me about some +Captain Eropegoff. I don't wish for your company, general. I +always avoided you--you know that. What have I to do with +Captain Eropegoff? All I did was to express my opinion that +probably Captain Eropegoff never existed at all!" + +"Of course he never existed!" Gania interrupted. + +But the general only stood stupefied and gazed around in a dazed +way. Gania's speech had impressed him, with its terrible candour. +For the first moment or two he could find no words to answer him, +and it was only when Hippolyte burst out laughing, and said: + +"There, you see! Even your own son supports my statement that +there never was such a person as Captain Eropegoff!" that the old +fellow muttered confusedly: + +"Kapiton Eropegoff--not Captain Eropegoff!--Kapiton--major +retired--Eropegoff--Kapiton." + +"Kapiton didn't exist either!" persisted Gania, maliciously. + +"What? Didn't exist?" cried the poor general, and a deep blush +suffused his face. + +"That'll do, Gania!" cried Varia and Ptitsin. + +"Shut up, Gania!" said Colia. + +But this intercession seemed to rekindle the general. + +"What did you mean, sir, that he didn't exist? Explain yourself," +he repeated, angrily. + +"Because he DIDN'T exist--never could and never did--there! You'd +better drop the subject, I warn you!" + +"And this is my son--my own son--whom I--oh, gracious Heaven! +Eropegoff--Eroshka Eropegoff didn't exist!" + +"Ha, ha! it's Eroshka now," laughed Hippolyte. + +"No, sir, Kapitoshka--not Eroshka. I mean, Kapiton Alexeyevitch-- +retired major--married Maria Petrovna Lu--Lu--he was my friend +and companion--Lutugoff--from our earliest beginnings. I closed +his eyes for him--he was killed. Kapiton Eropegoff never existed! +tfu!" + +The general shouted in his fury; but it was to be concluded that +his wrath was not kindled by the expressed doubt as to Kapiton's +existence. This was his scapegoat; but his excitement was caused +by something quite different. As a rule he would have merely +shouted down the doubt as to Kapiton, told a long yarn about his +friend, and eventually retired upstairs to his room. But today, +in the strange uncertainty of human nature, it seemed to require +but so small an offence as this to make his cup to overflow. The +old man grew purple in the face, he raised his hands. "Enough of +this!" he yelled. "My curse--away, out of the house I go! Colia, +bring my bag away!" He left the room hastily and in a paroxysm of +rage. + +His wife, Colia, and Ptitsin ran out after him. + +"What have you done now?" said Varia to Gania. "He'll probably be +making off THERE again! What a disgrace it all is!" + +"Well, he shouldn't steal," cried Gania, panting with fury. And +just at this moment his eye met Hippolyte's. + +"As for you, sir," he cried, "you should at least remember that +you are in a strange house and--receiving hospitality; you should +not take the opportunity of tormenting an old man, sir, who is +too evidently out of his mind." + +Hippolyte looked furious, but he restrained himself. + +"I don't quite agree with you that your father is out of his +mind," he observed, quietly. "On the contrary, I cannot help +thinking he has been less demented of late. Don't you think so? +He has grown so cunning and careful, and weighs his words so +deliberately; he spoke to me about that Kapiton fellow with an +object, you know! Just fancy--he wanted me to--" + +"Oh, devil take what he wanted you to do! Don't try to be too +cunning with me, young man!" shouted Gania. "If you are aware of +the real reason for my father's present condition (and you have +kept such an excellent spying watch during these last few days +that you are sure to be aware of it)--you had no right whatever +to torment the--unfortunate man, and to worry my mother by your +exaggerations of the affair; because the whole business is +nonsense--simply a drunken freak, and nothing more, quite +unproved by any evidence, and I don't believe that much of it!" +(he snapped his fingers). "But you must needs spy and watch over +us all, because you are a-a--" + +"Screw!" laughed Hippolyte. + +"Because you are a humbug, sir; and thought fit to worry people +for half an hour, and tried to frighten them into believing that +you would shoot yourself with your little empty pistol, +pirouetting about and playing at suicide! I gave you hospitality, +you have fattened on it, your cough has left you, and you repay +all this--" + +"Excuse me--two words! I am Varvara Ardalionovna's guest, not +yours; YOU have extended no hospitality to me. On the contrary, +if I am not mistaken, I believe you are yourself indebted to Mr. +Ptitsin's hospitality. Four days ago I begged my mother to come +down here and find lodgings, because I certainly do feel better +here, though I am not fat, nor have I ceased to cough. I am +today informed that my room is ready for me; therefore, having +thanked your sister and mother for their kindness to me, I intend +to leave the house this evening. I beg your pardon--I interrupted +you--I think you were about to add something?" + +"Oh--if that is the state of affairs--" began Gania. + +"Excuse me--I will take a seat," interrupted Hippolyte once more, +sitting down deliberately; "for I am not strong yet. Now then, I +am ready to hear you. Especially as this is the last chance we +shall have of a talk, and very likely the last meeting we shall +ever have at all." + +Gania felt a little guilty. + +"I assure you I did not mean to reckon up debits and credits," he +began, "and if you--" + +"I don't understand your condescension," said Hippolyte. "As for +me, I promised myself, on the first day of my arrival in this +house, that I would have the satisfaction of settling accounts +with you in a very thorough manner before I said good-bye to you. +I intend to perform this operation now, if you like; after you, +though, of course." + +"May I ask you to be so good as to leave this room?" + +"You'd better speak out. You'll be sorry afterwards if you +don't." + +"Hippolyte, stop, please! It's so dreadfully undignified," said +Varia. + +"Well, only for the sake of a lady," said Hippolyte, laughing. "I +am ready to put off the reckoning, but only put it off, Varvara +Ardalionovna, because an explanation between your brother and +myself has become an absolute necessity, and I could not think of +leaving the house without clearing up all misunderstandings +first." + +"In a word, you are a wretched little scandal-monger," cried +Gania, "and you cannot go away without a scandal!" + +"You see," said Hippolyte, coolly, " you can't restrain yourself. +You'll be dreadfully sorry afterwards if you don't speak out now. +Come, you shall have the first say. I'll wait." + +Gania was silent and merely looked contemptuously at him. + +"You won't? Very well. I shall be as short as possible, for my +part. Two or three times to-day I have had the word 'hospitality' +pushed down my throat; this is not fair. In inviting me here you +yourself entrapped me for your own use; you thought I wished to +revenge myself upon the prince. You heard that Aglaya Ivanovna +had been kind to me and read my confession. Making sure that I +should give myself up to your interests, you hoped that you might +get some assistance out of me. I will not go into details. I +don't ask either admission or confirmation of this from yourself; +I am quite content to leave you to your conscience, and to feel +that we understand one another capitally." + +"What a history you are weaving out of the most ordinary +circumstances!" cried Varia. + +"I told you the fellow was nothing but a scandalmonger," said +Gania. + +"Excuse me, Varia Ardalionovna, I will proceed. I can, of course, +neither love nor respect the prince, though he is a good-hearted +fellow, if a little queer. But there is no need whatever for me +to hate him. I quite understood your brother when he first +offered me aid against the prince, though I did not show it; I +knew well that your brother was making a ridiculous mistake in +me. I am ready to spare him, however, even now; but solely out of +respect for yourself, Varvara Ardalionovna. + +"Having now shown you that I am not quite such a fool as I look, +and that I have to be fished for with a rod and line for a good +long while before I am caught, I will proceed to explain why I +specially wished to make your brother look a fool. That my motive +power is hate, I do not attempt to conceal. I have felt that +before dying (and I am dying, however much fatter I may appear to +you), I must absolutely make a fool of, at least, one of that +class of men which has dogged me all my life, which I hate so +cordially, and which is so prominently represented by your much +esteemed brother. I should not enjoy paradise nearly so much +without having done this first. I hate you, Gavrila +Ardalionovitch, solely (this may seem curious to you, but I +repeat)--solely because you are the type, and incarnation, and +head, and crown of the most impudent, the most self-satisfied, +the most vulgar and detestable form of commonplaceness. You are +ordinary of the ordinary; you have no chance of ever fathering +the pettiest idea of your own. And yet you are as jealous and +conceited as you can possibly be; you consider yourself a great +genius; of this you are persuaded, although there are dark +moments of doubt and rage, when even this fact seems uncertain. +There are spots of darkness on your horizon, though they will +disappear when you become completely stupid. But a long and +chequered path lies before you, and of this I am glad. In the +first place you will never gain a certain person." + +"Come, come! This is intolerable! You had better stop, you little +mischief-making wretch!" cried Varia. Gania had grown very pale; +he trembled, but said nothing. + +Hippolyte paused, and looked at him intently and with great +gratification. He then turned his gaze upon Varia, bowed, and +went out, without adding another word. + +Gania might justly complain of the hardness with which fate +treated him. Varia dared not speak to him for a long while, as he +strode past her, backwards and forwards. At last he went and +stood at the window, looking out, with his back turned towards +her. There was a fearful row going on upstairs again. + +"Are you off?" said Gania, suddenly, remarking that she had risen +and was about to leave the room. "Wait a moment--look at this." + +He approached the table and laid a small sheet of paper before +her. It looked like a little note. + +"Good heavens!" cried Varia, raising her hands. + +This was the note: + +"GAVRILA ARDOLIONOVITCH,--persuaded of your kindness of heart, I +have determined to ask your advice on a matter of great +importance to myself. I should like to meet you tomorrow morning +at seven o'clock by the green bench in the park. It is not far +from our house. Varvara Ardalionovna, who must accompany you, +knows the place well. + +"A. E." + +"What on earth is one to make of a girl like that?" said Varia. + +Gania, little as he felt inclined for swagger at this moment, +could not avoid showing his triumph, especially just after such +humiliating remarks as those of Hippolyte. A smile of self- +satisfaction beamed on his face, and Varia too was brimming over +with delight. + +"And this is the very day that they were to announce the +engagement! What will she do next?" + +"What do you suppose she wants to talk about tomorrow?" asked +Gania. + +"Oh, THAT'S all the same! The chief thing is that she wants to +see you after six months' absence. Look here, Gania, this is a +SERIOUS business. Don't swagger again and lose the game--play +carefully, but don't funk, do you understand? As if she could +possibly avoid seeing what I have been working for all this last +six months! And just imagine, I was there this morning and not a +word of this! I was there, you know, on the sly. The old lady did +not know, or she would have kicked me out. I ran some risk for +you, you see. I did so want to find out, at all hazards." + +Here there was a frantic noise upstairs once more; several people +seemed to be rushing downstairs at once. + +"Now, Gania," cried Varia, frightened, "we can't let him go out! +We can't afford to have a breath of scandal about the town at +this moment. Run after him and beg his pardon--quick." + +But the father of the family was out in the road already. Colia +was carrying his bag for him; Nina Alexandrovna stood and cried +on the doorstep; she wanted to run after the general, but Ptitsin +kept her back. + +"You will only excite him more," he said. "He has nowhere else to +go to--he'll be back here in half an hour. I've talked it all +over with Colia; let him play the fool a bit, it will do him +good." + +"What are you up to? Where are you off to? You've nowhere to go +to, you know," cried Gania, out of the window. + +"Come back, father; the neighbours will hear!" cried Varia. + +The general stopped, turned round, raised his hands and remarked: +"My curse be upon this house!" + +"Which observation should always be made in as theatrical a tone +as possible," muttered Gania, shutting the window with a bang. + +The neighbours undoubtedly did hear. Varia rushed out of the +room. + +No sooner had his sister left him alone, than Gania took the note +out of his pocket, kissed it, and pirouetted around. + +III. + +As a general rule, old General Ivolgin's paroxysms ended in +smoke. He had before this experienced fits of sudden fury, but +not very often, because he was really a man of peaceful and +kindly disposition. He had tried hundreds of times to overcome +the dissolute habits which he had contracted of late years. He +would suddenly remember that he was "a father," would be +reconciled with his wife, and shed genuine tears. His feeling for +Nina Alexandrovna amounted almost to adoration; she had pardoned +so much in silence, and loved him still in spite of the state of +degradation into which he had fallen. But the general's struggles +with his own weakness never lasted very long. He was, in his way, +an impetuous man, and a quiet life of repentance in the bosom of +his family soon became insupportable to him. In the end he +rebelled, and flew into rages which he regretted, perhaps, even +as he gave way to them, but which were beyond his control. He +picked quarrels with everyone, began to hold forth eloquently, +exacted unlimited respect, and at last disappeared from the +house, and sometimes did not return for a long time. He had given +up interfering in the affairs of his family for two years now, +and knew nothing about them but what he gathered from hearsay. + +But on this occasion there was something more serious than usual. +Everyone seemed to know something, but to be afraid to talk about +it. + +The general had turned up in the bosom of his family two or three +days before, but not, as usual, with the olive branch of peace in +his hand, not in the garb of penitence--in which he was usually +clad on such occasions--but, on the contrary, in an uncommonly +bad temper. He had arrived in a quarrelsome mood, pitching into +everyone he came across, and talking about all sorts and kinds of +subjects in the most unexpected manner, so that it was impossible +to discover what it was that was really putting him out. At +moments he would be apparently quite bright and happy; but as a +rule he would sit moody and thoughtful. He would abruptly +commence to hold forth about the Epanchins, about Lebedeff, or +the prince, and equally abruptly would stop short and refuse to +speak another word, answering all further questions with a stupid +smile, unconscious that he was smiling, or that he had been asked +a question. The whole of the previous night he had spent tossing +about and groaning, and poor Nina Alexandrovna had been busy +making cold compresses and warm fomentations and so on, without +being very clear how to apply them. He had fallen asleep after a +while, but not for long, and had awaked in a state of violent +hypochondria which had ended in his quarrel with Hippolyte, and +the solemn cursing of Ptitsin's establishment generally. It was +also observed during those two or three days that he was in a +state of morbid self-esteem, and was specially touchy on all +points of honour. Colia insisted, in discussing the matter with +his mother, that all this was but the outcome of abstinence from +drink, or perhaps of pining after Lebedeff, with whom up to this +time the general had been upon terms of the greatest friendship; +but with whom, for some reason or other, he had quarrelled a few +days since, parting from him in great wrath. There had also been +a scene with the prince. Colia had asked an explanation of the +latter, but had been forced to conclude that he was not told the +whole truth. + +If Hippolyte and Nina Alexandrovna had, as Gania suspected, had +some special conversation about the general's actions, it was +strange that the malicious youth, whom Gania had called a +scandal-monger to his face, had not allowed himself a similar +satisfaction with Colia. + +The fact is that probably Hippolyte was not quite so black as +Gania painted him; and it was hardly likely that he had informed +Nina Alexandrovna of certain events, of which we know, for the +mere pleasure of giving her pain. We must never forget that human +motives are generally far more complicated than we are apt to +suppose, and that we can very rarely accurately describe the +motives of another. It is much better for the writer, as a rule, +to content himself with the bare statement of events; and we +shall take this line with regard to the catastrophe recorded +above, and shall state the remaining events connected with the +general's trouble shortly, because we feel that we have already +given to this secondary character in our story more attention +than we originally intended. + +The course of events had marched in the following order. When +Lebedeff returned, in company with the general, after their +expedition to town a few days since, for the purpose of +investigation, he brought the prince no information whatever. If +the latter had not himself been occupied with other thoughts and +impressions at the time, he must have observed that Lebedeff not +only was very uncommunicative, but even appeared anxious to avoid +him. + +When the prince did give the matter a little attention, he +recalled the fact that during these days he had always found +Lebedeff to be in radiantly good spirits, when they happened to +meet; and further, that the general and Lebedeff were always +together. The two friends did not seem ever to be parted for a +moment. + +Occasionally the prince heard loud talking and laughing upstairs, +and once he detected the sound of a jolly soldier's song going on +above, and recognized the unmistakable bass of the general's +voice. But the sudden outbreak of song did not last; and for an +hour afterwards the animated sound of apparently drunken +conversation continued to be heard from above. At length there +was the clearest evidence of a grand mutual embracing, and +someone burst into tears. Shortly after this, however, there was +a violent but short-lived quarrel, with loud talking on both +sides. + +All these days Colia had been in a state of great mental +preoccupation. Muishkin was usually out all day, and only came +home late at night. On his return he was invariably informed that +Colia had been looking for him. However, when they did meet, +Colia never had anything particular to tell him, excepting that +he was highly dissatisfied with the general and his present +condition of mind and behaviour. + +"They drag each other about the place," he said, and get drunk +together at the pub close by here, and quarrel in the street +on the way home, and embrace one another after it, and don't seem +to part for a moment." + +When the prince pointed out that there was nothing new about +that, for that they had always behaved in this manner together, +Colia did not know what to say; in fact he could not explain what +it was that specially worried him, just now, about his father. + +On the morning following the bacchanalian songs and quarrels +recorded above, as the prince stepped out of the house at about +eleven o'clock, the general suddenly appeared before him, much +agitated. + +"I have long sought the honour and opportunity of meeting you-- +much-esteemed Lef Nicolaievitch," he murmured, pressing the +prince's hand very hard, almost painfully so; "long--very long." + +The prince begged him to step in and sit down. + +"No--I will not sit down,--I am keeping you, I see,--another +time!--I think I may be permitted to congratulate you upon the +realization of your heart's best wishes, is it not so?" + +"What best wishes?" + +The prince blushed. He thought, as so many in his position do, +that nobody had seen, heard, noticed, or understood anything. + +"Oh--be easy, sir, be easy! I shall not wound your tenderest +feelings. I've been through it all myself, and I know well how +unpleasant it is when an outsider sticks his nose in where he is +not wanted. I experience this every morning. I came to speak to +you about another matter, though, an important matter. A very +important matter, prince." + +The latter requested him to take a seat once more, and sat down +himself. + +"Well--just for one second, then. The fact is, I came for advice. +Of course I live now without any very practical objects in life; +but, being full of self-respect, in which quality the ordinary +Russian is so deficient as a rule, and of activity, I am +desirous, in a word, prince, of placing myself and my wife and +children in a position of--in fact, I want advice." + +The prince commended his aspirations with warmth. + +"Quite so--quite so! But this is all mere nonsense. I came here +to speak of something quite different, something very important, +prince. And I have determined to come to you as to a man in whose +sincerity and nobility of feeling I can trust like--like--are you +surprised at my words, prince?" + +The prince was watching his guest, if not with much surprise, at +all events with great attention and curiosity. + +The old man was very pale; every now and then his lips trembled, +and his hands seemed unable to rest quietly, but continually +moved from place to place. He had twice already jumped up from +his chair and sat down again without being in the least aware of +it. He would take up a hook from the table and open it--talking +all the while,--look at the heading of a chapter, shut it and put +it back again, seizing another immediately, but holding it +unopened in his hand, and waving it in the air as he spoke. + +"But enough!" he cried, suddenly. "I see I have been boring you +with my--" + +"Not in the least--not in the least, I assure you. On the +contrary, I am listening most attentively, and am anxious to +guess-" + +"Prince, I wish to place myself in a respectable position--I wish +to esteem myself--and to--" + +"My dear sir, a man of such noble aspirations is worthy of all +esteem by virtue of those aspirations alone." + +The prince brought out his "copy-book sentence" in the firm +belief that it would produce a good effect. He felt instinctively +that some such well-sounding humbug, brought out at the proper +moment, would soothe the old man's feelings, and would be +specially acceptable to such a man in such a position. At all +hazards, his guest must be despatched with heart relieved and +spirit comforted; that was the problem before the prince at this +moment. + +The phrase flattered the general, touched him, and pleased him +mightily. He immediately changed his tone, and started off on a +long and solemn explanation. But listen as he would, the prince +could make neither head nor tail of it. + +The general spoke hotly and quickly for ten minutes; he spoke as +though his words could not keep pace with his crowding thoughts. +Tears stood in his eyes, and yet his speech was nothing but a +collection of disconnected sentences, without beginning and +without end--a string of unexpected words and unexpected +sentiments--colliding with one another, and jumping over one +another, as they burst from his lips. + +"Enough!" he concluded at last, "you understand me, and that is +the great thing. A heart like yours cannot help understanding the +sufferings of another. Prince, you are the ideal of generosity; +what are other men beside yourself? But you are young--accept my +blessing! My principal object is to beg you to fix an hour for a +most important conversation--that is my great hope, prince. My +heart needs but a little friendship and sympathy, and yet I +cannot always find means to satisfy it." + +"But why not now? I am ready to listen, and--" + +"No, no--prince, not now! Now is a dream! And it is too, too +important! It is to be the hour of Fate to me--MY OWN hour. Our +interview is not to be broken in upon by every chance comer, +every impertinent guest--and there are plenty of such stupid, +impertinent fellows"--(he bent over and whispered mysteriously, +with a funny, frightened look on his face)--"who are unworthy to +tie your shoe, prince. I don't say MINE, mind--you will +understand me, prince. Only YOU understand me, prince--no one +else. HE doesn't understand me, he is absolutely--ABSOLUTELY +unable to sympathize. The first qualification for understanding +another is Heart." + +The prince was rather alarmed at all this, and was obliged to end +by appointing the same hour of the following day for the +interview desired. The general left him much comforted and far +less agitated than when he had arrived. + +At seven in the evening, the prince sent to request Lebedeff to +pay him a visit. Lebedeff came at once, and "esteemed it an +honour," as he observed, the instant he entered the room. He +acted as though there had never been the slightest suspicion of +the fact that he had systematically avoided the prince for the +last three days. + +He sat down on the edge of his chair, smiling and making faces, +and rubbing his hands, and looking as though he were in delighted +expectation of hearing some important communication, which had +been long guessed by all. + +The prince was instantly covered with confusion; for it appeared +to be plain that everyone expected something of him--that +everyone looked at him as though anxious to congratulate him, and +greeted him with hints, and smiles, and knowing looks. + +Keller, for instance, had run into the house three times of late, +"just for a moment," and each time with the air of desiring to +offer his congratulations. Colia, too, in spite of his +melancholy, had once or twice begun sentences in much the same +strain of suggestion or insinuation. + +The prince, however, immediately began, with some show of +annoyance, to question Lebedeff categorically, as to the +general's present condition, and his opinion thereon. He +described the morning's interview in a few words. + +"Everyone has his worries, prince, especially in these strange +and troublous times of ours," Lebedeff replied, drily, and with +the air of a man disappointed of his reasonable expectations. + +"Dear me, what a philosopher you are!" laughed the prince. + +Philosophy is necessary, sir--very necessary--in our day. It is +too much neglected. As for me, much esteemed prince, I am +sensible of having experienced the honour of your confidence in a +certain matter up to a certain point, but never beyond that +point. I do not for a moment complain--" + +"Lebedeff, you seem to be angry for some reason!" said the +prince. + +"Not the least bit in the world, esteemed and revered prince! Not +the least bit in the world!" cried Lebedeff, solemnly, with his +hand upon his heart. "On the contrary, I am too painfully aware +that neither by my position in the world, nor by my gifts of +intellect and heart, nor by my riches, nor by any former conduct +of mine, have I in any way deserved your confidence, which is far +above my highest aspirations and hopes. Oh no, prince; I may +serve you, but only as your humble slave! I am not angry, oh no! +Not angry; pained perhaps, but nothing more. + +"My dear Lebedeff, I--" + +"Oh, nothing more, nothing more! I was saying to myself but now... +'I am quite unworthy of friendly relations with him,' say I; +'but perhaps as landlord of this house I may, at some future date, +in his good time, receive information as to certain imminent and +much to be desired changes--'" + +So saying Lebedeff fixed the prince with his sharp little eyes, +still in hope that he would get his curiosity satisfied. + +The prince looked back at him in amazement. + +"I don't understand what you are driving at!" he cried, almost +angrily, "and, and--what an intriguer you are, Lebedeff!" he +added, bursting into a fit of genuine laughter. + +Lebedeff followed suit at once, and it was clear from his radiant +face that he considered his prospects of satisfaction immensely +improved. + +"And do you know," the prince continued, "I am amazed at your +naive ways, Lebedeff! Don't he angry with me--not only yours, +everybody else's also! You are waiting to hear something from me +at this very moment with such simplicity that I declare I feel +quite ashamed of myself for having nothing whatever to tell you. +I swear to you solemnly, that there is nothing to tell. There! +Can you take that in?" The prince laughed again. + +Lebedeff assumed an air of dignity. It was true enough that he +was sometimes naive to a degree in his curiosity; but he was also +an excessively cunning gentleman, and the prince was almost +converting him into an enemy by his repeated rebuffs. The prince +did not snub Lebedeff's curiosity, however, because he felt any +contempt for him; but simply because the subject was too delicate +to talk about. Only a few days before he had looked upon his own +dreams almost as crimes. But Lebedeff considered the refusal as +caused by personal dislike to himself, and was hurt accordingly. +Indeed, there was at this moment a piece of news, most +interesting to the prince, which Lebedeff knew and even had +wished to tell him, but which he now kept obstinately to himself. + +"And what can I do for you, esteemed prince? Since I am told you +sent for me just now," he said, after a few moments' silence. + +"Oh, it was about the general," began the prince, waking abruptly +from the fit of musing which he too had indulged in "and-and +about the theft you told me of." + +"That is--er--about--what theft?" + +"Oh come! just as if you didn't understand, Lukian Timofeyovitch! +What are you up to? I can't make you out! The money, the money, +sir! The four hundred roubles that you lost that day. You came +and told me about it one morning, and then went off to +Petersburg. There, NOW do you understand?" + +"Oh--h--h! You mean the four hundred roubles!" said Lebedeff, +dragging the words out, just as though it had only just dawned +upon him what the prince was talking about. "Thanks very much, +prince, for your kind interest--you do me too much honour. I +found the money, long ago!" + +"You found it? Thank God for that!" + +"Your exclamation proves the generous sympathy of your nature, +prince; for four hundred roubles--to a struggling family man like +myself--is no small matter!" + +"I didn't mean that; at least, of course, I'm glad for your sake, +too," added the prince, correcting himself, " but--how did you +find it?" + +"Very simply indeed! I found it under the chair upon which my +coat had hung; so that it is clear the purse simply fell out of +the pocket and on to the floor!" + +"Under the chair? Impossible! Why, you told me yourself that you +had searched every corner of the room? How could you not have +looked in the most likely place of all?" + +"Of course I looked there,--of course I did! Very much so! I +looked and scrambled about, and felt for it, and wouldn't believe +it was not there, and looked again and again. It is always so in +such cases. One longs and expects to find a lost article; one +sees it is not there, and the place is as hare as one's palm; and +yet one returns and looks again and again, fifteen or twenty +times, likely enough!" + +"Oh, quite so, of course. But how was it in your case?--I don't +quite understand," said the bewildered prince. "You say it wasn't +there at first, and that you searched the place thoroughly, and +yet it turned up on that very spot!" + +"Yes, sir--on that very spot." The prince gazed strangely at +Lebedeff. "And the general?" he asked, abruptly. + +"The--the general? How do you mean, the general?" said Lebedeff, +dubiously, as though he had not taken in the drift of the +prince's remark. + +"Oh, good heavens! I mean, what did the general say when the +purse turned up under the chair? You and he had searched for it +together there, hadn't you?" + +"Quite so--together! But the second time I thought better to say +nothing about finding it. I found it alone." + +"But--why in the world--and the money? Was it all there?" + +"I opened the purse and counted it myself; right to a single +rouble." + +"I think you might have come and told me," said the prince, +thoughtfully. + +"Oh--I didn't like to disturb you, prince, in the midst of your +private and doubtless most interesting personal reflections. +Besides, I wanted to appear, myself, to have found nothing. I +took the purse, and opened it, and counted the money, and shut it +and put it down again under the chair." + +"What in the world for?" + +"Oh, just out of curiosity," said Lebedeff, rubbing his hands and +sniggering. + +"What, it's still there then, is it? Ever since the day before +yesterday?" + +"Oh no! You see, I was half in hopes the general might find it. +Because if I found it, why should not he too observe an object +lying before his very eyes? I moved the chair several times so as +to expose the purse to view, but the general never saw it. He is +very absent just now, evidently. He talks and laughs and tells +stories, and suddenly flies into a rage with me, goodness knows +why." + +"Well, but--have you taken the purse away now?" + +"No, it disappeared from under the chair in the night." + +"Where is it now, then?" + +"Here," laughed Lebedeff, at last, rising to his full height and +looking pleasantly at the prince, "here, in the lining of my +coat. Look, you can feel it for yourself, if you like!" + +Sure enough there was something sticking out of the front of the +coat--something large. It certainly felt as though it might well +be the purse fallen through a hole in the pocket into the lining. + +"I took it out and had a look at it; it's all right. I've let it +slip back into the lining now, as you see, and so I have been +walking about ever since yesterday morning; it knocks against my +legs when I walk along." + +"H'm! and you take no notice of it?" + +"Quite so, I take no notice of it. Ha, ha! and think of this, +prince, my pockets are always strong and whole, and yet, here in +one night, is a huge hole. I know the phenomenon is unworthy of +your notice; but such is the case. I examined the hole, and I +declare it actually looks as though it had been made with a pen- +knife, a most improbable contingency." + +"And--and--the general?" + +"Ah, very angry all day, sir; all yesterday and all today. He +shows decided bacchanalian predilections at one time, and at +another is tearful and sensitive, but at any moment he is liable +to paroxysms of such rage that I assure you, prince, I am quite +alarmed. I am not a military man, you know. Yesterday we were +sitting together in the tavern, and the lining of my coat was-- +quite accidentally, of course--sticking out right in front. The +general squinted at it, and flew into a rage. He never looks me +quite in the face now, unless he is very drunk or maudlin; but +yesterday he looked at me in such a way that a shiver went all +down my back. I intend to find the purse tomorrow; but till then +I am going to have another night of it with him." + +"What's the good of tormenting him like this?" cried the prince. + +"I don't torment him, prince, I don't indeed!" cried Lebedeff, +hotly. "I love him, my dear sir, I esteem him; and believe it or +not, I love him all the better for this business, yes--and value +him more." + +Lebedeff said this so seriously that the prince quite lost his +temper with him. + +"Nonsense! love him and torment him so! Why, by the very fact +that he put the purse prominently before you, first under the +chair and then in your lining, he shows that he does not wish to +deceive you, but is anxious to beg your forgiveness in this +artless way. Do you hear? He is asking your pardon. He confides +in the delicacy of your feelings, and in your friendship for him. +And you can allow yourself to humiliate so thoroughly honest a +man!" + +"Thoroughly honest, quite so, prince, thoroughly honest!" said +Lebedeff, with flashing eyes. "And only you, prince, could have +found so very appropriate an expression. I honour you for it, +prince. Very well, that's settled; I shall find the purse now and +not tomorrow. Here, I find it and take it out before your eyes! +And the money is all right. Take it, prince, and keep it till +tomorrow, will you? Tomorrow or next day I'll take it back again. +I think, prince, that the night after its disappearance it was +buried under a bush in the garden. So I believe--what do you +think of that?" + +"Well, take care you don't tell him to his face that you have +found the purse. Simply let him see that it is no longer in the +lining of your coat, and form his own conclusions." + +"Do you think so? Had I not just better tell him I have found it, +and pretend I never guessed where it was?" + +"No, I don't think so," said the prince, thoughtfully; "it's too +late for that--that would be dangerous now. No, no! Better say +nothing about it. Be nice with him, you know, but don't show him +--oh, YOU know well enough--" + +"I know, prince, of course I know, but I'm afraid I shall not +carry it out; for to do so one needs a heart like your own. He is +so very irritable just now, and so proud. At one moment he will +embrace me, and the next he flies out at me and sneers at me, and +then I stick the lining forward on purpose. Well, au revoir, +prince, I see I am keeping you, and boring you, too, interfering +with your most interesting private reflections." + +"Now, do be careful! Secrecy, as before!" + +"Oh, silence isn't the word! Softly, softly!" + +But in spite of this conclusion to the episode, the prince +remained as puzzled as ever, if not more so. He awaited next +morning's interview with the general most impatiently. + +IV. + +THE time appointed was twelve o'clock, and the prince, returning +home unexpectedly late, found the general waiting for him. At the +first glance, he saw that the latter was displeased, perhaps +because he had been kept waiting. The prince apologized, and +quickly took a seat. He seemed strangely timid before the general +this morning, for some reason, and felt as though his visitor +were some piece of china which he was afraid of breaking. + +On scrutinizing him, the prince soon saw that the general was +quite a different man from what he had been the day before; he +looked like one who had come to some momentous resolve. His +calmness, however, was more apparent than real. He was courteous, +but there was a suggestion of injured innocence in his manner. + +"I've brought your book back," he began, indicating a book lying +on the table. "Much obliged to you for lending it to me." + +"Ah, yes. Well, did you read it, general? It's curious, isn't +it?" said the prince, delighted to be able to open up +conversation upon an outside subject. + +"Curious enough, yes, but crude, and of course dreadful nonsense; +probably the man lies in every other sentence." + +The general spoke with considerable confidence, and dragged his +words out with a conceited drawl. + +"Oh, but it's only the simple tale of an old soldier who saw the +French enter Moscow. Some of his remarks were wonderfully +interesting. Remarks of an eye-witness are always valuable, +whoever he be, don't you think so + +"Had I been the publisher I should not have printed it. As to the +evidence of eye-witnesses, in these days people prefer impudent +lies to the stories of men of worth and long service. I know of +some notes of the year 1812, which--I have determined, prince, to +leave this house, Mr. Lebedeff's house." + +The general looked significantly at his host. + +"Of course you have your own lodging at Pavlofsk at--at your +daughter's house," began the prince, quite at a loss what to say. +He suddenly recollected that the general had come for advice on a +most important matter, affecting his destiny. + +"At my wife's; in other words, at my own place, my daughter's +house." + +"I beg your pardon, I--" + +"I leave Lebedeff's house, my dear prince, because I have +quarrelled with this person. I broke with him last night, and am +very sorry that I did not do so before. I expect respect, prince, +even from those to whom I give my heart, so to speak. Prince, I +have often given away my heart, and am nearly always deceived. +This person was quite unworthy of the gift." + +"There is much that might be improved in him," said the prince, +moderately, "but he has some qualities which--though amid them +one cannot but discern a cunning nature--reveal what is often a +diverting intellect." + +The prince's tone was so natural and respectful that the general +could not possibly suspect him of any insincerity. + +"Oh, that he possesses good traits, I was the first to show, when +I very nearly made him a present of my friendship. I am not +dependent upon his hospitality, and upon his house; I have my own +family. I do not attempt to justify my own weakness. I have drunk +with this man, and perhaps I deplore the fact now, but I did not +take him up for the sake of drink alone (excuse the crudeness of +the expression, prince); I did not make friends with him for that +alone. I was attracted by his good qualities; but when the fellow +declares that he was a child in 1812, and had his left leg cut +off, and buried in the Vagarkoff cemetery, in Moscow, such a +cock-and-bull story amounts to disrespect, my dear sir, to--to +impudent exaggeration." + +"Oh, he was very likely joking; he said it for fun." + +"I quite understand you. You mean that an innocent lie for the +sake of a good joke is harmless, and does not offend the human +heart. Some people lie, if you like to put it so, out of pure +friendship, in order to amuse their fellows; but when a man makes +use of extravagance in order to show his disrespect and to make +clear how the intimacy bores him, it is time for a man of honour +to break off the said intimacy., and to teach the offender his +place." + +The general flushed with indignation as he spoke. + +"Oh, but Lebedeff cannot have been in Moscow in 1812. He is much +too young; it is all nonsense." + +"Very well, but even if we admit that he was alive in 1812, can +one believe that a French chasseur pointed a cannon at him for a +lark, and shot his left leg off? He says he picked his own leg up +and took it away and buried it in the cemetery. He swore he had a +stone put up over it with the inscription: 'Here lies the leg of +Collegiate Secretary Lebedeff,' and on the other side, 'Rest, +beloved ashes, till the morn of joy,' and that he has a service +read over it every year (which is simply sacrilege), and goes to +Moscow once a year on purpose. He invites me to Moscow in order +to prove his assertion, and show me his leg's tomb, and the very +cannon that shot him; he says it's the eleventh from the gate of +the Kremlin, an old-fashioned falconet taken from the French +afterwards." + +"And, meanwhile both his legs are still on his body," said the +prince, laughing. "I assure you, it is only an innocent joke, and +you need not be angry about it." + +"Excuse me--wait a minute--he says that the leg we see is a +wooden one, made by Tchernosvitoff." + +"They do say one can dance with those!" + +"Quite so, quite so; and he swears that his wife never found out +that one of his legs was wooden all the while they were married. +When I showed him the ridiculousness of all this, he said, 'Well, +if you were one of Napoleon's pages in 1812, you might let me +bury my leg in the Moscow cemetery.' + +"Why, did you say--" began the prince, and paused in confusion. + +The general gazed at his host disdainfully. + +"Oh, go on," he said, "finish your sentence, by all means. Say +how odd it appears to you that a man fallen to such a depth of +humiliation as I, can ever have been the actual eye-witness of +great events. Go on, I don't mind! Has he found time to tell you +scandal about me?" + +"No, I've heard nothing of this from Lebedeff, if you mean +Lebedeff." + +"H'm; I thought differently. You see, we were talking over this +period of history. I was criticizing a current report of +something which then happened, and having been myself an eye- +witness of the occurrence--you are smiling, prince--you are +looking at my face as if--" + +"Oh no! not at all--I--" + +"I am rather young-looking, I know; but I am actually older than +I appear to be. I was ten or eleven in the year 1812. I don't +know my age exactly, but it has always been a weakness of mine to +make it out less than it really is. + +"I assure you, general, I do not in the least doubt your +statement. One of our living autobiographers states that when he +was a small baby in Moscow in 1812 the French soldiers fed him +with bread." + +"Well, there you see!" said the general, condescendingly. "There +is nothing whatever unusual about my tale. Truth very often +appears to be impossible. I was a page--it sounds strange, I dare +say. Had I been fifteen years old I should probably have been +terribly frightened when the French arrived, as my mother was +(who had been too slow about clearing out of Moscow); but as I +was only just ten I was not in the least alarmed, and rushed +through the crowd to the very door of the palace when Napoleon +alighted from his horse." + +"Undoubtedly, at ten years old you would not have felt the sense +of fear, as you say," blurted out the prince, horribly +uncomfortable in the sensation that he was just about to blush. + +"Of course; and it all happened so easily and naturally. And yet, +were a novelist to describe the episode, he would put in all +kinds of impossible and incredible details." + +"Oh," cried the prince, "I have often thought that! Why, I know +of a murder, for the sake of a watch. It's in all the papers now. +But if some writer had invented it, all the critics would have +jumped down his throat and said the thing was too improbable for +anything. And yet you read it in the paper, and you can't help +thinking that out of these strange disclosures is to be gained +the full knowledge of Russian life and character. You said that +well, general; it is so true," concluded the prince, warmly, +delighted to have found a refuge from the fiery blushes which had +covered his face. + +"Yes, it's quite true, isn't it?" cried the general, his eyes +sparkling with gratification. "A small boy, a child, would +naturally realize no danger; he would shove his way through the +crowds to see the shine and glitter of the uniforms, and +especially the great man of whom everyone was speaking, for at +that time all the world had been talking of no one but this man +for some years past. The world was full of his name; I--so to +speak--drew it in with my mother's milk. Napoleon, passing a +couple of paces from me, caught sight of me accidentally. I was +very well dressed, and being all alone, in that crowd, as you +will easily imagine... + +"Oh, of course! Naturally the sight impressed him, and proved to +him that not ALL the aristocracy had left Moscow; that at least +some nobles and their children had remained behind." + +Just so just so! He wanted to win over the aristocracy! When his +eagle eye fell on me, mine probably flashed back in response.' +Voila un garcon bien eveille! Qui est ton pere?' I immediately +replied, almost panting with excitement, 'A general, who died on +the battle-fields of his country! "Le fils d'un boyard et d'un +brave, pardessus le marche. J'aime les boyards. M'aimes-tu, +petit?' To this keen question I replied as keenly, 'The Russian +heart can recognize a great man even in the bitter enemy of his +country.' At least, I don't remember the exact words, you know, +but the idea was as I say. Napoleon was struck; he thought a +minute and then said to his suite: 'I like that boy's pride; if +all Russians think like this child', then he didn't finish, hut +went on and entered the palace. I instantly mixed with his suite, +and followed him. I was already in high favour. I remember when +he came into the first hall, the emperor stopped before a +portrait of the Empress Katherine, and after a thoughtful glance +remarked, 'That was a great woman,' and passed on. + +"Well, in a couple of days I was known all over the palace and +the Kremlin as 'le petit boyard.' I only went home to sleep. They +were nearly out of their minds about me at home. A couple of days +after this, Napoleon's page, De Bazancour, died; he had not been +able to stand the trials of the campaign. Napoleon remembered me; +I was taken away without explanation; the dead page's uniform was +tried on me, and when I was taken before the emperor, dressed in +it, he nodded his head to me, and I was told that I was appointed +to the vacant post of page. + +"Well, I was glad enough, for I had long felt the greatest +sympathy for this man; and then the pretty uniform and all that-- +only a child, you know--and so on. It was a dark green dress coat +with gold buttons--red facings, white trousers, and a white silk +waistcoat--silk stockings, shoes with buckles, and top-boots if I +were riding out with his majesty or with the suite. + +"Though the position of all of us at that time was not +particularly brilliant, and the poverty was dreadful all round, +yet the etiquette at court was strictly preserved, and the more +strictly in proportion to the growth of the forebodings of +disaster." + +"Quite so, quite so, of course!" murmured the poor prince, who +didn't know where to look. "Your memoirs would be most +interesting." + +The general was, of course, repeating what he had told Lebedeff +the night before, and thus brought it out glibly enough, but here +he looked suspiciously at the prince out of the corners of his +eyes. + +"My memoirs!" he began, with redoubled pride and dignity. "Write +my memoirs? The idea has not tempted me. And yet, if you please, +my memoirs have long been written, but they shall not see the +light until dust returns to dust. Then, I doubt not, they will be +translated into all languages, not of course on account of their +actual literary merit, but because of the great events of which I +was the actual witness, though but a child at the time. As a +child, I was able to penetrate into the secrecy of the great +man's private room. At nights I have heard the groans and +wailings of this 'giant in distress.' He could feel no shame in +weeping before such a mere child as I was, though I understood +even then that the reason for his suffering was the silence of +the Emperor Alexander." + +"Yes, of course; he had written letters to the latter with +proposals of peace, had he not?" put in the prince. + +"We did not know the details of his proposals, but he wrote +letter after letter, all day and every day. He was dreadfully +agitated. Sometimes at night I would throw myself upon his breast +with tears (Oh, how I loved that man!). 'Ask forgiveness, Oh, ask +forgiveness of the Emperor Alexander!' I would cry. I should have +said, of course, 'Make peace with Alexander,' but as a child I +expressed my idea in the naive way recorded. 'Oh, my child,' he +would say (he loved to talk to me and seemed to forget my tender +years), 'Oh, my child, I am ready to kiss Alexander's feet, but I +hate and abominate the King of Prussia and the Austrian Emperor, +and--and--but you know nothing of politics, my child.' He would +pull up, remembering whom he was speaking to, but his eyes would +sparkle for a long while after this. Well now, if I were to +describe all this, and I have seen greater events than these, all +these critical gentlemen of the press and political parties--Oh, +no thanks! I'm their very humble servant, but no thanks!" + +"Quite so--parties--you are very right," said the prince. "I was +reading a book about Napoleon and the Waterloo campaign only the +other day, by Charasse, in which the author does not attempt to +conceal his joy at Napoleon's discomfiture at every page. Well +now, I don't like that; it smells of 'party,' you know. You are +quite right. And were you much occupied with your service under +Napoleon?" + +The general was in ecstasies, for the prince's remarks, made, as +they evidently were, in all seriousness and simplicity, quite +dissipated the last relics of his suspicion. + +"I know Charasse's book! Oh! I was so angry with his work! I +wrote to him and said--I forget what, at this moment. You ask +whether I was very busy under the Emperor? Oh no! I was called +'page,' but hardly took my duty seriously. Besides, Napoleon very +soon lost hope of conciliating the Russians, and he would have +forgotten all about me had he not loved me--for personal reasons-- +I don't mind saying so now. My heart was greatly drawn to him, +too. My duties were light. I merely had to be at the palace +occasionally to escort the Emperor out riding, and that was about +all. I rode very fairly well. He used to have a ride before +dinner, and his suite on those occasions were generally Davoust, +myself, and Roustan." + +"Constant?" said the prince, suddenly, and quite involuntarily. + +"No; Constant was away then, taking a letter to the Empress +Josephine. Instead of him there were always a couple of +orderlies--and that was all, excepting, of course, the generals +and marshals whom Napoleon always took with him for the +inspection of various localities, and for the sake of +consultation generally. I remember there was one--Davoust--nearly +always with him--a big man with spectacles. They used to argue +and quarrel sometimes. Once they were in the Emperor's study +together--just those two and myself--I was unobserved--and they +argued, and the Emperor seemed to be agreeing to something under +protest. Suddenly his eye fell on me and an idea seemed to flash +across him. + +"'Child,' he said, abruptly. 'If I were to recognize the Russian +orthodox religion and emancipate the serfs, do you think Russia +would come over to me?'" + +"'Never!' I cried, indignantly." + +"The Emperor was much struck." + +"'In the flashing eyes of this patriotic child I read and accept +the fiat of the Russian people. Enough, Davoust, it is mere +phantasy on our part. Come, let's hear your other project.'" + +"'Yes, but that was a great idea," said the prince, clearly +interested. "You ascribe it to Davoust, do you?" + +"Well, at all events, they were consulting together at the time. +Of course it was the idea of an eagle, and must have originated +with Napoleon; but the other project was good too--it was the +'Conseil du lion!' as Napoleon called it. This project consisted +in a proposal to occupy the Kremlin with the whole army; to arm +and fortify it scientifically, to kill as many horses as could be +got, and salt their flesh, and spend the winter there; and in +spring to fight their way out. Napoleon liked the idea--it +attracted him. We rode round the Kremlin walls every day, and +Napoleon used to give orders where they were to be patched, where +built up, where pulled down and so on. All was decided at last. +They were alone together--those two and myself. + +"Napoleon was walking up and down with folded arms. I could not +take my eyes off his face--my heart beat loudly and painfully. + +"'I'm off,' said Davoust. 'Where to?' asked Napoleon. + +"'To salt horse-flesh,' said Davoust. Napoleon shuddered--his +fate was being decided. + +"'Child,' he addressed me suddenly, 'what do you think of our +plan?' Of course he only applied to me as a sort of toss-up, you +know. I turned to Davoust and addressed my reply to him. I said, +as though inspired: + +"'Escape, general! Go home!--' + +"The project was abandoned; Davoust shrugged his shoulders and +went out, whispering to himself--'Bah, il devient superstitieux!' +Next morning the order to retreat was given." + +"All this is most interesting," said the prince, very softly, "if +it really was so--that is, I mean--" he hastened to correct +himself. + +"Oh, my dear prince," cried the general, who was now so +intoxicated with his own narrative that he probably could not +have pulled up at the most patent indiscretion. + +"You say, if it really was so!' There was more--much more, I +assure you! These are merely a few little political acts. I tell +you I was the eye-witness of the nightly sorrow and groanings of +the great man, and of that no one can speak but myself. Towards +the end he wept no more, though he continued to emit an +occasional groan; but his face grew more overcast day by day, as +though Eternity were wrapping its gloomy mantle about him. +Occasionally we passed whole hours of silence together at night, +Roustan snoring in the next room--that fellow slept like a pig. +'But he's loyal to me and my dynasty,' said Napoleon of him. + +"Sometimes it was very painful to me, and once he caught me with +tears in my eyes. He looked at me kindly. 'You are sorry for me,' +he said, 'you, my child, and perhaps one other child--my son, +the King of Rome--may grieve for me. All the rest hate me; and my +brothers are the first to betray me in misfortune.' I sobbed and +threw myself into his arms. He could not resist me--he burst into +tears, and our tears mingled as we folded each other in a close +embrace. + +"'Write, oh, write a letter to the Empress Josephine!' I cried, +sobbing. Napoleon started, reflected, and said, 'You remind me of +a third heart which loves me. Thank you, my friend;' and then and +there he sat down and wrote that letter to Josephine, with which +Constant was sent off next day." + +"You did a good action," said the prince, "for in the midst of +his angry feelings you insinuated a kind thought into his heart." + +"Just so, prince, just so. How well you bring out that fact! +Because your own heart is good!" cried the ecstatic old +gentleman, and, strangely enough, real tears glistened in his +eyes." Yes, prince, it was a wonderful spectacle. And, do you +know, I all but went off to Paris, and should assuredly have +shared his solitary exile with him; but, alas, our destinies were +otherwise ordered! We parted, he to his island, where I am sure +he thought of the weeping child who had embraced him so +affectionately at parting in Moscow; and I was sent off to the +cadet corps, where I found nothing but roughness and harsh +discipline. Alas, my happy days were done! + +"'I do not wish to deprive your mother of you, and, therefore, I +will not ask you to go with me,' he said, the morning of his +departure, 'but I should like to do something for you.' He was +mounting his horse as he spoke. 'Write something in my sister's +album for me,' I said rather timidly, for he was in a state of +great dejection at the moment. He turned, called for a pen, took +the album. 'How old is your sister?' he asked, holding the pen in +his hand. 'Three years old,' I said. 'Ah, petite fille alors!' +and he wrote in the album: + +'Ne mentes jamais! +NAPOLEON (votre ami sincere).' + +"Such advice, and at such a moment, you must allow, prince, was--" + +"Yes, quite so; very remarkable." + +"This page of the album, framed in gold, hung on the wall of my +sister's drawing-room all her life, in the most conspicuous place, +till the day of her death; where it is now, I really don't know. +Heavens! it's two o'clock! HOW I have kept you, prince! It is +really most unpardonable of me. + +The general rose. + +"Oh, not in the least," said the prince. " On the contrary, I +have been so much interested, I'm really very much obliged to +you." + +"Prince,", said the general, pressing his hand, and looking at +him with flashing eyes, and an expression as though he were under +the influence of a sudden thought which had come upon him with +stunning force. "Prince, you are so kind, so simple-minded, that +sometimes I really feel sorry for you! I gaze at you with a +feeling of real affection. Oh, Heaven bless you! May your life +blossom and fructify in love. Mine is over. Forgive me, forgive +me!" + +He left the room quickly, covering his face with his hands. + +The prince could not doubt the sincerity of his agitation. He +understood, too, that the old man had left the room intoxicated +with his own success. The general belonged to that class of +liars, who, in spite of their transports of lying, invariably +suspect that they are not believed. On this occasion, when he +recovered from his exaltation, he would probably suspect Muishkin +of pitying him, and feel insulted. + +"Have I been acting rightly in allowing him to develop such vast +resources of imagination?" the prince asked himself. But his +answer was a fit of violent laughter which lasted ten whole +minutes. He tried to reproach himself for the laughing fit, but +eventually concluded that he needn't do so, since in spite of it +he was truly sorry for the old man. The same evening he received +a strange letter, short but decided. The general informed him +that they must part for ever; that he was grateful, but that even +from him he could not accept "signs of sympathy which were +humiliating to the dignity of a man already miserable enough." + +When the prince heard that the old man had gone to Nina +Alexandrovna, though, he felt almost easy on his account. + +We have seen, however, that the general paid a visit to Lizabetha +Prokofievna and caused trouble there, the final upshot being that +he frightened Mrs. Epanchin, and angered her by bitter hints as +to his son Gania. + +He had been turned out in disgrace, eventually, and this was the +cause of his bad night and quarrelsome day, which ended in his +sudden departure into the street in a condition approaching +insanity, as recorded before. + +Colia did not understand the position. He tried severity with his +father, as they stood in the street after the latter had cursed +the household, hoping to bring him round that way. + +"Well, where are we to go to now, father?" he asked. "You don't +want to go to the prince's; you have quarrelled with Lebedeff; +you have no money; I never have any; and here we are in the +middle of the road, in a nice sort of mess." + +"Better to be of a mess than in a mess! I remember making a joke +something like that at the mess in eighteen hundred and forty-- +forty--I forget. 'Where is my youth, where is my golden youth?' +Who was it said that, Colia?" + +"It was Gogol, in Dead Souls, father," cried Colia, glancing at +him in some alarm. + +"'Dead Souls,' yes, of course, dead. When I die, Colia, you must +engrave on my tomb: + +"'Here lies a Dead Soul, +Shame pursues me.' + +"Who said that, Colia?" + +"I don't know, father." + +"There was no Eropegoff? Eroshka Eropegoff?" he cried, suddenly, +stopping in the road in a frenzy. "No Eropegoff! And my own son +to say it! Eropegoff was in the place of a brother to me for +eleven months. I fought a duel for him. He was married +afterwards, and then killed on the field of battle. The bullet +struck the cross on my breast and glanced off straight into his +temple. 'I'll never forget you,' he cried, and expired. I served +my country well and honestly, Colia, but shame, shame has pursued +me! You and Nina will come to my grave, Colia; poor Nina, I +always used to call her Nina in the old days, and how she +loved.... Nina, Nina, oh, Nina. What have I ever done to deserve +your forgiveness and long-suffering? Oh, Colia, your mother has an +angelic spirit, an angelic spirit, Colia!" + +"I know that, father. Look here, dear old father, come back home! +Let's go back to mother. Look, she ran after us when we came out. +What have you stopped her for, just as though you didn't take in +what I said? Why are you crying, father?" + +Poor Colia cried himself, and kissed the old man's hands + +"You kiss my hands, MINE?" + +"Yes, yes, yours, yours! What is there to surprise anyone in that? +Come, come, you mustn't go on like this, crying in the middle of +the road; and you a general too, a military man! Come, let's go +back." + +"God bless you, dear boy, for being respectful to a disgraced +man. Yes, to a poor disgraced old fellow, your father. You shall +have such a son yourself; le roi de Rome. Oh, curses on this +house!" + +"Come, come, what does all this mean?" cried Colia beside himself +at last. "What is it? What has happened to you? Why don't you +wish to come back home? Why have you gone out of your mind, like +this?" + +"I'll explain it, I'll explain all to you. Don't shout! You shall +hear. Le roi de Rome. Oh, I am sad, I am melancholy! + +"'Nurse, where is your tomb?'" + +"Who said that, Colia?" + +"I don't know, I don't know who said it. Come home at once; come +on! I'll punch Gania's head myself, if you like--only come. Oh, +where are you off to again?" The general was dragging him away +towards the door a house near. He sat down on the step, still +holding Colia by the hand. + +"Bend down--bend down your ear. I'll tell you all--disgrace--bend +down, I'll tell you in your ear." + +"What are you dreaming of?" said poor, frightened Colia, stooping +down towards the old man, all the same. + +"Le roi de Rome," whispered the general, trembling all over. + +"What? What DO you mean? What roi de Rome?" + +"I-I," the general continued to whisper, clinging more and more +tightly to the boy's shoulder. "I--wish--to tell you--all--Maria- +-Maria Petrovna--Su--Su--Su......." + +Colia broke loose, seized his father by the shoulders, and stared +into his eyes with frenzied gaze. The old man had grown livid-- +his lips were shaking, convulsions were passing over his +features. Suddenly he leant over and began to sink slowly into +Colia's arms. + +"He's got a stroke!" cried Colia, loudly, realizing what was the +matter at last. + +V. + +IN point of fact, Varia had rather exaggerated the certainty of +her news as to the prince's betrothal to Aglaya. Very likely, +with the perspicacity of her sex, she gave out as an accomplished +fact what she felt was pretty sure to become a fact in a few +days. Perhaps she could not resist the satisfaction of pouring +one last drop of bitterness into her brother Gania's cup, in +spite of her love for him. At all events, she had been unable to +obtain any definite news from the Epanchin girls--the most she +could get out of them being hints and surmises, and so on. +Perhaps Aglaya's sisters had merely been pumping Varia for news +while pretending to impart information; or perhaps, again, they +had been unable to resist the feminine gratification of teasing a +friend--for, after all this time, they could scarcely have helped +divining the aim of her frequent visits. + +On the other hand, the prince, although he had told Lebedeff,--as +we know, that nothing had happened, and that he had nothing to +impart,--the prince may have been in error. Something strange +seemed to have happened, without anything definite having +actually happened. Varia had guessed that with her true feminine +instinct. + +How or why it came about that everyone at the Epanchins' became +imbued with one conviction--that something very important had +happened to Aglaya, and that her fate was in process of +settlement--it would be very difficult to explain. But no sooner +had this idea taken root, than all at once declared that they had +seen and observed it long ago; that they had remarked it at the +time of the "poor knight" joke, and even before, though they had +been unwilling to believe in such nonsense. + +So said the sisters. Of course, Lizabetha Prokofievna had +foreseen it long before the rest; her "heart had been sore" for a +long while, she declared, and it was now so sore that she +appeared to be quite overwhelmed, and the very thought of the +prince became distasteful to her. + +There was a question to be decided--most important, but most +difficult; so much so, that Mrs. Epanchin did not even see how to +put it into words. Would the prince do or not? Was all this good +or bad? If good (which might be the case, of course), WHY good? +If bad (which was hardly doubtful), WHEREIN, especially, bad? +Even the general, the paterfamilias, though astonished at first, +suddenly declared that, "upon his honour, he really believed he +had fancied something of the kind, after all. At first, it seemed +a new idea, and then, somehow, it looked as familiar as +possible." His wife frowned him down there. This was in the +morning; but in the evening, alone with his wife, he had given +tongue again. + +"Well, really, you know"--(silence)--"of course, you know all +this is very strange, if true, which I cannot deny; but"-- +(silence).--" But, on the other hand, if one looks things in the +face, you know--upon my honour, the prince is a rare good fellow-- +and--and--and--well, his name, you know--your family name--all +this looks well, and perpetuates the name and title and all that-- +which at this moment is not standing so high as it might--from +one point of view--don't you know? The world, the world is the +world, of course--and people will talk--and--and--the prince has +property, you know--if it is not very large--and then he--he--" +(Continued silence, and collapse of the general.) + +Hearing these words from her husband, Lizabetha Prokofievna was +driven beside herself. + +According to her opinion, the whole thing had been one huge, +fantastical, absurd, unpardonable mistake. "First of all, this +prince is an idiot, and, secondly, he is a fool--knows nothing of +the world, and has no place in it. Whom can he be shown to? Where +can you take him to? What will old Bielokonski say? We never +thought of such a husband as THAT for our Aglaya!" + +Of course, the last argument was the chief one. The maternal +heart trembled with indignation to think of such an absurdity, +although in that heart there rose another voice, which said: "And +WHY is not the prince such a husband as you would have desired +for Aglaya?" It was this voice which annoyed Lizabetha +Prokofievna more than anything else. + +For some reason or other, the sisters liked the idea of the +prince. They did not even consider it very strange; in a word, +they might be expected at any moment to range themselves strongly +on his side. But both of them decided to say nothing either way. +It had always been noticed in the family that the stronger Mrs. +Epanchin's opposition was to any project, the nearer she was, in +reality, to giving in. + +Alexandra, however, found it difficult to keep absolute silence +on the subject. Long since holding, as she did, the post of +"confidential adviser to mamma," she was now perpetually called +in council, and asked her opinion, and especially her assistance, +in order to recollect "how on earth all this happened?" Why did +no one see it? Why did no one say anything about it? What did all +that wretched "poor knight" joke mean? Why was she, Lizabetha +Prokofievna, driven to think, and foresee, and worry for +everybody, while they all sucked their thumbs, and counted the +crows in the garden, and did nothing? At first, Alexandra had +been very careful, and had merely replied that perhaps her +father's remark was not so far out: that, in the eyes of the +world, probably the choice of the prince as a husband for one of +the Epanchin girls would be considered a very wise one. Warming +up, however, she added that the prince was by no means a fool, +and never had been; and that as to "place in the world," no one +knew what the position of a respectable person in Russia would +imply in a few years--whether it would depend on successes in the +government service, on the old system, or what. + +To all this her mother replied that Alexandra was a freethinker, +and that all this was due to that "cursed woman's rights +question." + +Half an hour after this conversation, she went off to town, and +thence to the Kammenny Ostrof, ["Stone Island," a suburb and park +of St. Petersburg] to see Princess Bielokonski, who had just +arrived from Moscow on a short visit. The princess was Aglaya's +godmother. + +"Old Bielokonski"listened to all the fevered and despairing +lamentations of Lizabetha Prokofievna without the least emotion; +the tears of this sorrowful mother did not evoke answering sighs-- +in fact, she laughed at her. She was a dreadful old despot, this +princess; she could not allow equality in anything, not even in +friendship of the oldest standing, and she insisted on treating +Mrs. Epanchin as her protegee, as she had been thirty-five years +ago. She could never put up with the independence and energy of +Lizabetha's character. She observed that, as usual, the whole +family had gone much too far ahead, and had converted a fly into +an elephant; that, so far as she had heard their story, she was +persuaded that nothing of any seriousness had occurred; that it +would surely be better to wait until something DID happen; that +the prince, in her opinion, was a very decent young fellow, +though perhaps a little eccentric, through illness, and not quite +as weighty in the world as one could wish. The worst feature was, +she said, Nastasia Philipovna. + +Lizabetha Prokofievna well understood that the old lady was angry +at the failure of Evgenie Pavlovitch--her own recommendation. She +returned home to Pavlofsk in a worse humour than when she left, +and of course everybody in the house suffered. She pitched into +everyone, because, she declared, they had 'gone mad.' Why were +things always mismanaged in her house? Why had everybody been in +such a frantic hurry in this matter? So far as she could see, +nothing whatever had happened. Surely they had better wait and +see what was to happen, instead of making mountains out of +molehills. + +And so the conclusion of the matter was that it would be far +better to take it quietly, and wait coolly to see what would turn +up. But, alas! peace did not reign for more than ten minutes. The +first blow dealt to its power was in certain news communicated to +Lizabetha Prokofievna as to events which bad happened during her +trip to see the princess. (This trip had taken place the day +after that on which the prince had turned up at the Epanchins at +nearly one o'clock at night, thinking it was nine.) + +The sisters replied candidly and fully enough to their mother's +impatient questions on her return. They said, in the first place, +that nothing particular had happened since her departure; that +the prince had been, and that Aglaya had kept him waiting a long +while before she appeared--half an hour, at least; that she had +then come in, and immediately asked the prince to have a game of +chess; that the prince did not know the game, and Aglaya had +beaten him easily; that she had been in a wonderfully merry mood, +and had laughed at the prince, and chaffed him so unmercifully +that one was quite sorry to see his wretched expression. + +She had then asked him to play cards--the game called "little +fools." At this game the tables were turned completely, for the +prince had shown himself a master at it. Aglaya had cheated and +changed cards, and stolen others, in the most bare-faced way, +but, in spite of everything the prince had beaten her hopelessly +five times running, and she had been left "little fool" each +time. + +Aglaya then lost her temper, and began to say such awful things +to the prince that he laughed no more, but grew dreadfully pale, +especially when she said that she should not remain in the house +with him, and that he ought to be ashamed of coming to their +house at all, especially at night, "AFTER ALL THAT HAD HAPPENED." + +So saying, she had left the room, banging the door after her, and +the prince went off, looking as though he were on his way to a +funeral, in spite of all their attempts at consolation. + +Suddenly, a quarter of an hour after the prince's departure, +Aglaya had rushed out of her room in such a hurry that she had +not even wiped her eyes, which were full of tears. She came back +because Colia had brought a hedgehog. Everybody came in to see +the hedgehog. In answer to their questions Colia explained that +the hedgehog was not his, and that he had left another boy, +Kostia Lebedeff, waiting for him outside. Kostia was too shy to +come in, because he was carrying a hatchet; they had bought the +hedgehog and the hatchet from a peasant whom they had met on the +road. He had offered to sell them the hedgehog, and they had paid +fifty copecks for it; and the hatchet had so taken their fancy +that they had made up their minds to buy it of their own accord. +On hearing this, Aglaya urged Colia to sell her the hedgehog; she +even called him "dear Colia," in trying to coax him. He refused +for a long time, but at last he could hold out no more, and went +to fetch Kostia Lebedeff. The latter appeared, carrying his +hatchet, and covered with confusion. Then it came out that the +hedgehog was not theirs, but the property of a schoolmate, one +Petroff, who had given them some money to buy Schlosser's History +for him, from another schoolfellow who at that moment was driven +to raising money by the sale of his books. Colia and Kostia were +about to make this purchase for their friend when chance brought +the hedgehog to their notice, and they had succumbed to the +temptation of buying it. They were now taking Petroff the +hedgehog and hatchet which they had bought with his money, +instead of Schiosser's History. But Aglaya so entreated them that +at last they consented to sell her the hedgehog. As soon as she +had got possession of it, she put it in a wicker basket with +Colia's help, and covered it with a napkin. Then she said to +Colia: "Go and take this hedgehog to the prince from me, and ask +him to accept it as a token of my profound respect." Colia +joyfully promised to do the errand, but he demanded explanations. +"What does the hedgehog mean? What is the meaning of such a +present?" Aglaya replied that it was none of his business. " I am +sure that there is some allegory about it," Colia persisted. +Aglaya grew angry, and called him "a silly boy." "If I did not +respect all women in your person," replied Colia, "and if my own +principles would permit it, I would soon prove to you, that I +know how to answer such an insult!" But, in the end, Colia went +off with the hedgehog in great delight, followed by Kostia +Lebedeff. Aglaya's annoyance was soon over, and seeing that Colia +was swinging the hedgehog's basket violently to and fro, she +called out to him from the verandah, as if they had never +quarrelled: "Colia, dear, please take care not to drop him!" +Colia appeared to have no grudge against her, either, for he +stopped, and answered most cordially: "No, I will not drop him! +Don't be afraid, Aglaya Ivanovna!" After which he went on his +way. Aglaya burst out laughing and ran up to her room, highly +delighted. Her good spirits lasted the whole day. + +All this filled poor Lizabetha's mind with chaotic confusion. +What on earth did it all mean? The most disturbing feature was +the hedgehog. What was the symbolic signification of a hedgehog? +What did they understand by it? What underlay it? Was it a +cryptic message? + +Poor General Epanchin "put his foot in it" by answering the above +questions in his own way. He said there was no cryptic message at +all. As for the hedgehog, it was just a hedgehog, which meant +nothing--unless, indeed, it was a pledge of friendship,--the sign +of forgetting of offences and so on. At all events, it was a +joke, and, of course, a most pardonable and innocent one. + +We may as well remark that the general had guessed perfectly +accurately. + +The prince, returning home from the interview with Aglaya, had +sat gloomy and depressed for half an hour. He was almost in +despair when Colia arrived with the hedgehog. + +Then the sky cleared in a moment. The prince seemed to arise from +the dead; he asked Colia all about it, made him repeat the story +over and over again, and laughed and shook hands with the boys in +his delight. + +It seemed clear to the prince that Aglaya forgave him, and that +he might go there again this very evening; and in his eyes that +was not only the main thing, but everything in the world. + +"What children we are still, Colia!" he cried at last, +enthusiastically,--"and how delightful it is that we can be +children still!" + +"Simply--my dear prince,--simply she is in love with you,--that's +the whole of the secret!" replied Colia, with authority. + +The prince blushed, but this time he said nothing. Colia burst +out laughing and clapped his hands. A minute later the prince +laughed too, and from this moment until the evening he looked at +his watch every other minute to see how much time he had to wait +before evening came. + +But the situation was becoming rapidly critical. + +Mrs. Epanchin could bear her suspense no longer, and in spite of +the opposition of husband and daughters, she sent for Aglaya, +determined to get a straightforward answer out of her, once for +all. + +"Otherwise," she observed hysterically, "I shall die before +evening." + +It was only now that everyone realized to what a ridiculous dead- +lock the whole matter had been brought. Excepting feigned +surprise, indignation, laughter, and jeering--both at the prince +and at everyone who asked her questions,--nothing could be got +out of Aglaya. + +Lizabetha Prokofievna went to bed and only rose again in time for +tea, when the prince might be expected. + +She awaited him in trembling agitation; and when he at last +arrived she nearly went off into hysterics. + +Muishkin himself came in very timidly. He seemed to feel his way, +and looked in each person's eyes in a questioning way,--for +Aglaya was absent, which fact alarmed him at once. + +This evening there were no strangers present--no one but the +immediate members of the family. Prince S. was still in town, +occupied with the affairs of Evgenie Pavlovitch's uncle. + +"I wish at least HE would come and say something!" complained +poor Lizabetha Prokofievna. + +The general sat still with a most preoccupied air. The sisters +were looking very serious and did not speak a word, and Lizabetha +Prokofievna did not know how to commence the conversation. + +At length she plunged into an energetic and hostile criticism of +railways, and glared at the prince defiantly. + +Alas Aglaya still did not come--and the prince was quite lost. He +had the greatest difficulty in expressing his opinion that +railways were most useful institutions,--and in the middle of his +speech Adelaida laughed, which threw him into a still worse state +of confusion. + +At this moment in marched Aglaya, as calm and collected as could +be. She gave the prince a ceremonious bow and solemnly took up a +prominent position near the big round table. She looked at the +prince questioningly. + +All present realized that the moment for the settlement of +perplexities had arrived. + +"Did you get my hedgehog?" she inquired, firmly and almost +angrily. + +Yes, I got it," said the prince, blushing. + +"Tell us now, at once, what you made of the present? I must have +you answer this question for mother's sake; she needs pacifying, +and so do all the rest of the family!" + +"Look here, Aglaya--" began the general. + +"This--this is going beyond all limits!" said Lizabetha +Prokofievna, suddenly alarmed. + +"It is not in the least beyond all limits, mamma!" said her +daughter, firmly. "I sent the prince a hedgehog this morning, and +I wish to hear his opinion of it. Go on, prince." + +"What--what sort of opinion, Aglaya Ivanovna?" + +"About the hedgehog." + +"That is--I suppose you wish to know how I received the hedgehog, +Aglaya Ivanovna,--or, I should say, how I regarded your sending +him to me? In that case, I may tell you--in a word--that I--in +fact--" + +He paused, breathless. + +"Come--you haven't told us much!" said Aglaya, after waiting some +five seconds. "Very well, I am ready to drop the hedgehog, if you +like; but I am anxious to be able to clear up this accumulation +of misunderstandings. Allow me to ask you, prince,--I wish to +hear from you, personally--are you making me an offer, or not?" + +"Gracious heavens!" exclaimed Lizabetha Prokofievna. The prince +started. The general stiffened in his chair; the sisters frowned. + +"Don't deceive me now, prince--tell the truth. All these people +persecute me with astounding questions--about you. Is there any +ground for all these questions, or not? Come!" + +"I have not asked you to marry me yet, Aglaya Ivanovna," said the +prince, becoming suddenly animated; "but you know yourself how +much I love you and trust you." + +"No--I asked you this--answer this! Do you intend to ask for my +band, or not?" + +"Yes--I do ask for it!" said the prince, more dead than alive +now. + +There was a general stir in the room. + +"No--no--my dear girl," began the general. "You cannot proceed +like this, Aglaya, if that's how the matter stands. It's +impossible. Prince, forgive it, my dear fellow, but--Lizabetha +Prokofievna!"--he appealed to his spouse for help--"you must +really--" + +"Not I--not I! I retire from all responsibility," said Lizabetha +Prokofievna, with a wave of the hand. + +"Allow me to speak, please, mamma," said Aglaya. "I think I ought +to have something to say in the matter. An important moment of my +destiny is about to be decided"--(this is how Aglaya expressed +herself)--"and I wish to find out how the matter stands, for my +own sake, though I am glad you are all here. Allow me to ask you, +prince, since you cherish those intentions, how you consider that +you will provide for my happiness?" + +"I--I don't quite know how to answer your question, Aglaya +Ivanovna. What is there to say to such a question? And--and must +I answer?" + +"I think you are rather overwhelmed and out of breath. Have a +little rest, and try to recover yourself. Take a glass of water, +or--but they'll give you some tea directly." + +"I love you, Aglaya Ivanovna,--I love you very much. I love only +you--and--please don't jest about it, for I do love you very +much." + +"Well, this matter is important. We are not children--we must look +into it thoroughly. Now then, kindly tell me--what does your +fortune consist of?" + +"No--Aglaya--come, enough of this, you mustn't behave like this," +said her father, in dismay. + +"It's disgraceful," said Lizabetha Prokofievna in a loud whisper. + +"She's mad--quite!" said Alexandra. + +"Fortune--money--do you mean?" asked the prince in some surprise. + +"Just so." + +"I have now--let's see--I have a hundred and thirty-five thousand +roubles," said the prince, blushing violently. + +"Is that all, really?" said Aglaya, candidly, without the +slightest show of confusion. "However, it's not so bad, +especially if managed with economy. Do you intend to serve?" + +"I--I intended to try for a certificate as private tutor." + +"Very good. That would increase our income nicely. Have you any +intention of being a Kammer-junker?" + +"A Kammer-junker? I had not thought of it, but--" + +But here the two sisters could restrain themselves no longer, and +both of them burst into irrepressible laughter. + +Adelaida had long since detected in Aglaya's features the +gathering signs of an approaching storm of laughter, which she +restrained with amazing self-control. + +Aglaya looked menacingly at her laughing sisters, but could not +contain herself any longer, and the next minute she too had burst +into an irrepressible, and almost hysterical, fit of mirth. At +length she jumped up, and ran out of the room. + +"I knew it was all a joke!" cried Adelaida. "I felt it ever +since--since the hedgehog." + +"No, no! I cannot allow this,--this is a little too much," cried +Lizabetha Prokofievna, exploding with rage, and she rose from her +seat and followed Aglaya out of the room as quickly as she could. + +The two sisters hurriedly went after her. + +The prince and the general were the only two persons left in the +room. + +"It's--it's really--now could you have imagined anything like it, +Lef Nicolaievitch?" cried the general. He was evidently so much +agitated that he hardly knew what he wished to say. "Seriously +now, seriously I mean--" + +"I only see that Aglaya Ivanovna is laughing at me," said the +poor prince, sadly. + +"Wait a bit, my boy, I'll just go--you stay here, you know. But +do just explain, if you can, Lef Nicolaievitch, how in the world +has all this come about? And what does it all mean? You must +understand, my dear fellow; I am a father, you see, and I ought +to be allowed to understand the matter--do explain, I beg you!" + +"I love Aglaya Ivanovna--she knows it,--and I think she must have +long known it." + +The general shrugged his shoulders. + +"Strange--it's strange," he said, "and you love her very much?" + +"Yes, very much." + +"Well--it's all most strange to me. That is--my dear fellow, it +is such a surprise--such a blow--that... You see, it is not +your financial position (though I should not object if you were a +bit richer)--I am thinking of my daughter's happiness, of course, +and the thing is--are you able to give her the happiness she +deserves? And then--is all this a joke on her part, or is she in +earnest? I don't mean on your side, but on hers." + +At this moment Alexandra's voice was heard outside the door, +calling out "Papa!" + +"Wait for me here, my boy--will you? Just wait and think it all +over, and I'll come back directly," he said hurriedly, and made +off with what looked like the rapidity of alarm in response to +Alexandra's call. + +He found the mother and daughter locked in one another's arms, +mingling their tears. + +These were the tears of joy and peace and reconciliation. Aglaya +was kissing her mother's lips and cheeks and hands; they were +hugging each other in the most ardent way. + +"There, look at her now--Ivan Fedorovitch! Here she is--all of +her! This is our REAL Aglaya at last!" said Lizabetha +Prokofievna. + +Aglaya raised her happy, tearful face from her mother's breast, +glanced at her father, and burst out laughing. She sprang at him +and hugged him too, and kissed him over and over again. She then +rushed back to her mother and hid her face in the maternal bosom, +and there indulged in more tears. Her mother covered her with a +corner of her shawl. + +"Oh, you cruel little girl! How will you treat us all next, I +wonder?" she said, but she spoke with a ring of joy in her voice, +and as though she breathed at last without the oppression which +she had felt so long. + +"Cruel?" sobbed Aglaya. "Yes, I AM cruel, and worthless, and +spoiled--tell father so,--oh, here he is--I forgot Father, +listen!" She laughed through her tears. + +"My darling, my little idol," cried the general, kissing and +fondling her hands (Aglaya did not draw them away); "so you love +this young man, do you?" + +"No, no, no, can't BEAR him, I can't BEAR your young man!" cried +Aglaya, raising her head. "And if you dare say that ONCE more, +papa--I'm serious, you know, I'm,--do you hear me--I'm serious!" + +She certainly did seem to be serious enough. She had flushed up +all over and her eyes were blazing. + +The general felt troubled and remained silent, while Lizabetha +Prokofievna telegraphed to him from behind Aglaya to ask no +questions. + +"If that's the case, darling--then, of course, you shall do +exactly as you like. He is waiting alone downstairs. Hadn't I +better hint to him gently that he can go?" The general +telegraphed to Lizabetha Prokofievna in his turn. + +"No, no, you needn't do anything of the sort; you mustn't hint +gently at all. I'll go down myself directly. I wish to apologize +to this young man, because I hurt his feelings." + +"Yes, SERIOUSLY," said the general, gravely. + +"Well, you'd better stay here, all of you, for a little, and I'll +go down to him alone to begin with. I'll just go in and then you +can follow me almost at once. That's the best way." + +She had almost reached the door when she turned round again. + +"I shall laugh--I know I shall; I shall die of laughing," she +said, lugubriously. + +However, she turned and ran down to the prince as fast as her +feet could carry her. + +"Well, what does it all mean? What do you make of it?" asked the +general of his spouse, hurriedly. + +"I hardly dare say," said Lizabetha, as hurriedly, "but I think +it's as plain as anything can be." + +"I think so too, as clear as day; she loves him." + +"Loves him? She is head over ears in love, that's what she is," +put in Alexandra. + +"Well, God bless her, God bless her, if such is her destiny," +said Lizabetha, crossing herself devoutly. + +"H'm destiny it is," said the general, "and there's no getting +out of destiny." + +With these words they all moved off towards the drawing-room, +where another surprise awaited them. Aglaya had not only not +laughed, as she had feared, but had gone to the prince rather +timidly, and said to him: + +"Forgive a silly, horrid, spoilt girl"--(she took his hand here)-- +"and be quite assured that we all of us esteem you beyond all +words. And if I dared to turn your beautiful, admirable +simplicity to ridicule, forgive me as you would a little child +its mischief. Forgive me all my absurdity of just now, which, of +course, meant nothing, and could not have the slightest +consequence." She spoke these words with great emphasis. + +Her father, mother, and sisters came into the room and were much +struck with the last words, which they just caught as they +entered--"absurdity which of course meant nothing"--and still +more so with the emphasis with which Aglaya had spoken. + +They exchanged glances questioningly, but the prince did not seem +to have understood the meaning of Aglaya's words; he was in the +highest heaven of delight. + +"Why do you speak so?" he murmured. "Why do you ask my +forgiveness?" + +He wished to add that he was unworthy of being asked for +forgiveness by her, but paused. Perhaps he did understand +Aglaya's sentence about "absurdity which meant nothing," and like +the strange fellow that he was, rejoiced in the words. + +Undoubtedly the fact that he might now come and see Aglaya as +much as he pleased again was quite enough to make him perfectly +happy; that he might come and speak to her, and see her, and sit +by her, and walk with her--who knows, but that all this was quite +enough to satisfy him for the whole of his life, and that he +would desire no more to the end of time? + +(Lizabetha Prokofievna felt that this might be the case, and she +didn't like it; though very probably she could not have put the +idea into words.) + +It would be difficult to describe the animation and high spirits +which distinguished the prince for the rest of the evening. + +He was so happy that "it made one feel happy to look at him," as +Aglaya's sisters expressed it afterwards. He talked, and told +stories just as he had done once before, and never since, namely +on the very first morning of his acquaintance with the Epanchins, +six months ago. Since his return to Petersburg from Moscow, he +had been remarkably silent, and had told Prince S. on one +occasion, before everyone, that he did not think himself +justified in degrading any thought by his unworthy words. + +But this evening he did nearly all the talking himself, and told +stories by the dozen, while he answered all questions put to him +clearly, gladly, and with any amount of detail. + +There was nothing, however, of love-making in his talk. His ideas +were all of the most serious kind; some were even mystical and +profound. + +He aired his own views on various matters, some of his most +private opinions and observations, many of which would have +seemed rather funny, so his hearers agreed afterwards, had they +not been so well expressed. + +The general liked serious subjects of conversation; but both he +and Lizabetha Prokofievna felt that they were having a little too +much of a good thing tonight, and as the evening advanced, they +both grew more or less melancholy; but towards night, the prince +fell to telling funny stories, and was always the first to burst +out laughing himself, which he invariably did so joyously and +simply that the rest laughed just as much at him as at his +stories. + +As for Aglaya, she hardly said a word all the evening; but she +listened with all her ears to Lef Nicolaievitch's talk, and +scarcely took her eyes off him. + +"She looked at him, and stared and stared, and hung on every word +he said," said Lizabetha afterwards, to her husband, "and yet, +tell her that she loves him, and she is furious!" + +"What's to be done? It's fate," said the general, shrugging his +shoulders, and, for a long while after, he continued to repeat: +"It's fate, it's fate!" + +We may add that to a business man like General Epanchin the +present position of affairs was most unsatisfactory. He hated the +uncertainty in which they had been, perforce, left. However, he +decided to say no more about it, and merely to look on, and take +his time and tune from Lizabetha Prokofievna. + +The happy state in which the family had spent the evening, as +just recorded, was not of very long duration. Next day Aglaya +quarrelled with the prince again, and so she continued to behave +for the next few days. For whole hours at a time she ridiculed +and chaffed the wretched man, and made him almost a laughing- +stock. + +It is true that they used to sit in the little summer-house +together for an hour or two at a time, very often, but it was +observed that on these occasions the prince would read the paper, +or some book, aloud to Aglaya. + +"Do you know," Aglaya said to him once, interrupting the reading, +"I've remarked that you are dreadfully badly educated. You never +know anything thoroughly, if one asks you; neither anyone's name, +nor dates, nor about treaties and so on. It's a great pity, you +know!" + +"I told you I had not had much of an education," replied the +prince. + +"How am I to respect you, if that's the case? Read on now. No-- +don't! Stop reading!" + +And once more, that same evening, Aglaya mystified them all. +Prince S. had returned, and Aglaya was particularly amiable to +him, and asked a great deal after Evgenie Pavlovitch. (Muishkin +had not come in as yet.) + +Suddenly Prince S. hinted something about "a new and approaching +change in the family." He was led to this remark by a +communication inadvertently made to him by Lizabetha Prokofievna, +that Adelaida's marriage must be postponed a little longer, in +order that the two weddings might come off together. + +It is impossible to describe Aglaya's irritation. She flared up, +and said some indignant words about "all these silly +insinuations." She added that "she had no intentions as yet of +replacing anybody's mistress." + +These words painfully impressed the whole party; but especially +her parents. Lizabetha Prokofievna summoned a secret council of +two, and insisted upon the general's demanding from the prince a +full explanation of his relations with Nastasia Philipovna. The +general argued that it was only a whim of Aglaya's; and that, had +not Prince S. unfortunately made that remark, which had confused +the child and made her blush, she never would have said what she +did; and that he was sure Aglaya knew well that anything she +might have heard of the prince and Nastasia Philipovna was merely +the fabrication of malicious tongues, and that the woman was +going to marry Rogojin. He insisted that the prince had nothing +whatever to do with Nastasia Philipovna, so far as any liaison +was concerned; and, if the truth were to be told about it, he +added, never had had. + +Meanwhile nothing put the prince out, and he continued to be in +the seventh heaven of bliss. Of course he could not fail to +observe some impatience and ill-temper in Aglaya now and then; +but he believed in something else, and nothing could now shake +his conviction. Besides, Aglaya's frowns never lasted long; they +disappeared of themselves. + +Perhaps he was too easy in his mind. So thought Hippolyte, at all +events, who met him in the park one day. + +"Didn't I tell you the truth now, when I said you were in love?" +he said, coming up to Muishkin of his own accord, and stopping +him. + +The prince gave him his hand and congratulated him upon "looking +so well." + +Hippolyte himself seemed to be hopeful about his state of health, +as is often the case with consumptives. + +He had approached the prince with the intention of talking +sarcastically about his happy expression of face, but very soon +forgot his intention and began to talk about himself. He began +complaining about everything, disconnectedly and endlessly, as +was his wont. + +"You wouldn't believe," he concluded, "how irritating they all +are there. They are such wretchedly small, vain, egotistical, +COMMONPLACE people! Would you believe it, they invited me there +under the express condition that I should die quickly, and they +are all as wild as possible with me for not having died yet, and +for being, on the contrary, a good deal better! Isn't it a +comedy? I don't mind betting that you don't believe me!" + +The prince said nothing. + +"I sometimes think of coming over to you again," said Hippolyte, +carelessly. "So you DON'T think them capable of inviting a man on +the condition that he is to look sharp and die?" + +"I certainly thought they invited you with quite other views." + +"Ho, ho! you are not nearly so simple as they try to make you +out! This is not the time for it, or I would tell you a thing or +two about that beauty, Gania, and his hopes. You are being +undermined, pitilessly undermined, and--and it is really +melancholy to see you so calm about it. But alas! it's your +nature--you can't help it!" + +"My word! what a thing to be melancholy about! Why, do you think +I should be any happier if I were to feel disturbed about the +excavations you tell me of?" + +"It is better to be unhappy and know the worst, than to be happy +in a fool's paradise! I suppose you don't believe that you have a +rival in that quarter?" + +"Your insinuations as to rivalry are rather cynical, Hippolyte. +I'm sorry to say I have no right to answer you! As for Gania, I +put it to you, CAN any man have a happy mind after passing +through what he has had to suffer? I think that is the best way +to look at it. He will change yet, he has lots of time before +him, and life is rich; besides--besides..." the prince +hesitated. "As to being undermined, I don't know what in the +world you are driving at, Hippolyte. I think we had better drop +the subject!" + +"Very well, we'll drop it for a while. You can't look at anything +but in your exalted, generous way. You must put out your finger +and touch a thing before you'll believe it, eh? Ha! ha! ha! I +suppose you despise me dreadfully, prince, eh? What do you +think?" + +"Why? Because you have suffered more than we have?" + +"No; because I am unworthy of my sufferings, if you like!" + +"Whoever CAN suffer is worthy to suffer, I should think. Aglaya +Ivanovna wished to see you, after she had read your confession, +but--" + +"She postponed the pleasure--I see--I quite understand!" said +Hippolyte, hurriedly, as though he wished to banish the subject. +"I hear--they tell me--that you read her all that nonsense aloud? +Stupid @ bosh it was--written in delirium. And I can't understand +how anyone can be so I won't say CRUEL, because the word would be +humiliating to myself, but we'll say childishly vain and +revengeful, as to REPROACH me with this confession, and use it as +a weapon against me. Don't be afraid, I'm not referring to +yourself." + +"Oh, but I'm sorry you repudiate the confession, Hippolyte--it is +sincere; and, do you know, even the absurd parts of it--and these +are many" (here Hippolyte frowned savagely) "are, as it were, +redeemed by suffering--for it must have cost you something to +admit what you there say--great torture, perhaps, for all I know. +Your motive must have been a very noble one all through. Whatever +may have appeared to the contrary, I give you my word, I see this +more plainly every day. I do not judge you; I merely say this to +have it off my mind, and I am only sorry that I did not say it +all THEN--" + +Hippolyte flushed hotly. He had thought at first that the prince +was "humbugging" him; but on looking at his face he saw that he +was absolutely serious, and had no thought of any deception. +Hippolyte beamed with gratification. + +"And yet I must die," he said, and almost added: "a man like me @ + +"And imagine how that Gania annoys me! He has developed the idea +--or pretends to believe--that in all probability three or four +others who heard my confession will die before I do. There's an +idea for you--and all this by way of CONSOLING me! Ha! ha! ha! In +the first place they haven't died yet; and in the second, if they +DID die--all of them--what would be the satisfaction to me in +that? He judges me by himself. But he goes further, he actually +pitches into me because, as he declares, 'any decent fellow' +would die quietly, and that 'all this' is mere egotism on my +part. He doesn't see what refinement of egotism it is on his own +part--and at the same time, what ox-like coarseness! Have you +ever read of the death of one Stepan Gleboff, in the eighteenth +century? I read of it yesterday by chance." + +"Who was he?" + +He was impaled on a stake in the time of Peter." + +"I know, I know! He lay there fifteen hours in the hard frost, +and died with the most extraordinary fortitude--I know--what of +him?" + +"Only that God gives that sort of dying to some, and not to +others. Perhaps you think, though, that I could not die like +Gleboff?" + +"Not at all!" said the prince, blushing. "I was only going to +say that you--not that you could not be like Gleboff--but that +you would have been more like @ + +"I guess what you mean--I should be an Osterman, not a Gleboff-- +eh? Is that what you meant?" + +"What Osterman?" asked the prince in some surprise. + +"Why, Osterman--the diplomatist. Peter's Osterman," muttered +Hippolyte, confused. There was a moment's pause of mutual +confusion. + +Oh, no, no!" said the prince at last, "that was not what I was +going to say--oh no! I don't think you would ever have been like +Osterman." + +Hippolyte frowned gloomily. + +"I'll tell you why I draw the conclusion," explained the prince, +evidently desirous of clearing up the matter a little. "Because, +though I often think over the men of those times, I cannot for +the life of me imagine them to be like ourselves. It really +appears to me that they were of another race altogether than +ourselves of today. At that time people seemed to stick so to +one idea; now, they are more nervous, more sensitive, more +enlightened--people of two or three ideas at once--as it were. +The man of today is a broader man, so to speak--and I declare I +believe that is what prevents him from being so self-contained +and independent a being as his brother of those earlier days. Of +course my remark was only made under this impression, and not in +the least @ + +"I quite understand. You are trying to comfort me for the +naiveness with which you disagreed with me--eh? Ha! ha! ha! You +are a regular child, prince! However, I cannot help seeing that +you always treat me like--like a fragile china cup. Never mind, +never mind, I'm not a bit angry! At all events we have had a very +funny talk. Do you know, all things considered, I should like to +be something better than Osterman! I wouldn't take the trouble to +rise from the dead to be an Osterman. However, I see I must make +arrangements to die soon, or I myself--. Well--leave me now! Au +revoir. Look here--before you go, just give me your opinion: how +do you think I ought to die, now? I mean--the best, the most +virtuous way? Tell me!" + +"You should pass us by and forgive us our happiness," said the +prince in a low voice. + +"Ha! ha! ha! I thought so. I thought I should hear something like +that. Well, you are--you really are--oh dear me! Eloquence, +eloquence! Good-bye!" + +VI. + +As to the evening party at the Epanchins' at which Princess +Bielokonski was to be present, Varia had reported with accuracy; +though she had perhaps expressed herself too strongly. + +The thing was decided in a hurry and with a certain amount of +quite unnecessary excitement, doubtless because "nothing could be +done in this house like anywhere else." + +The impatience of Lizabetha Prokofievna "to get things settled" +explained a good deal, as well as the anxiety of both parents for +the happiness of their beloved daughter. Besides, Princess +Bielokonski was going away soon, and they hoped that she would +take an interest in the prince. They were anxious that he should +enter society under the auspices of this lady, whose patronage +was the best of recommendations for any young man. + +Even if there seems something strange about the match, the +general and his wife said to each other, the "world" will accept +Aglaya's fiance without any question if he is under the patronage +of the princess. In any case, the prince would have to be "shown" +sooner or later; that is, introduced into society, of which he +had, so far, not the least idea. Moreover, it was only a question +of a small gathering of a few intimate friends. Besides Princess +Bielokonski, only one other lady was expected, the wife of a high +dignitary. Evgenie Pavlovitch, who was to escort the princess, +was the only young man. + +Muishkin was told of the princess's visit three days beforehand, +but nothing was said to him about the party until the night +before it was to take place. + +He could not help observing the excited and agitated condition of +all members of the family, and from certain hints dropped in +conversation he gathered that they were all anxious as to the +impression he should make upon the princess. But the Epanchins, +one and all, believed that Muishkin, in his simplicity of mind, +was quite incapable of realizing that they could be feeling any +anxiety on his account, and for this reason they all looked at +him with dread and uneasiness. + +In point of fact, he did attach marvellously little importance to +the approaching event. He was occupied with altogether different +thoughts. Aglaya was growing hourly more capricious and gloomy, +and this distressed him. When they told him that Evgenie +Pavlovitch was expected, he evinced great delight, and said that +he had long wished to see him--and somehow these words did not +please anyone. + +Aglaya left the room in a fit of irritation, and it was not until +late in the evening, past eleven, when the prince was taking his +departure, that she said a word or two to him, privately, as she +accompanied him as far as the front door. + +"I should like you," she said, "not to come here tomorrow until +evening, when the guests are all assembled. You know there are to +be guests, don't you?" + +She spoke impatiently and with severity; this was the first +allusion she had made to the party of tomorrow. + +She hated the idea of it, everyone saw that; and she would +probably have liked to quarrel about it with her parents, but +pride and modesty prevented her from broaching the subject. + +The prince jumped to the conclusion that Aglaya, too, was nervous +about him, and the impression he would make, and that she did not +like to admit her anxiety; and this thought alarmed him. + +"Yes, I am invited," he replied. + +She was evidently in difficulties as to how best to go on. "May I +speak of something serious to you, for once in my life?" she +asked, angrily. She was irritated at she knew not what, and could +not restrain her wrath. + +"Of course you may; I am very glad to listen," replied Muishkin. + +Aglaya was silent a moment and then began again with evident +dislike of her subject: + +"I do not wish to quarrel with them about this; in some things +they won't be reasonable. I always did feel a loathing for the +laws which seem to guide mamma's conduct at times. I don't speak +of father, for he cannot be expected to be anything but what he +is. Mother is a noble-minded woman, I know; you try to suggest +anything mean to her, and you'll see! But she is such a slave to +these miserable creatures! I don't mean old Bielokonski alone. +She is a contemptible old thing, but she is able to twist people +round her little finger, and I admire that in her, at all events! +How mean it all is, and how foolish! We were always middle-class, +thoroughly middle-class, people. Why should we attempt to climb +into the giddy heights of the fashionable world? My sisters are +all for it. It's Prince S. they have to thank for poisoning their +minds. Why are you so glad that Evgenie Pavlovitch is coming?" + +"Listen to me, Aglaya," said the prince, "I do believe you are +nervous lest I shall make a fool of myself tomorrow at your +party?" + +"Nervous about you?" Aglaya blushed. "Why should I be nervous +about you? What would it matter to me if you were to make ever +such a fool of yourself? How can you say such a thing? What do +you mean by 'making a fool of yourself'? What a vulgar +expression! I suppose you intend to talk in that sort of way +tomorrow evening? Look up a few more such expressions in your +dictionary; do, you'll make a grand effect! I'm sorry that you +seem to be able to come into a room as gracefully as you do; +where did you learn the art? Do you think you can drink a cup of +tea decently, when you know everybody is looking at you, on +purpose to see how you do it?" + +"Yes, I think I can." + +"Can you? I'm sorry for it then, for I should have had a good +laugh at you otherwise. Do break SOMETHING at least, in the +drawing-room! Upset the Chinese vase, won't you? It's a valuable +one; DO break it. Mamma values it, and she'll go out of her +mind--it was a present. She'll cry before everyone, you'll see! Wave +your hand about, you know, as you always do, and just smash it. +Sit down near it on purpose." + +"On the contrary, I shall sit as far from it as I can. Thanks for +the hint." + +"Ha, ha! Then you are afraid you WILL wave your arms about! I +wouldn't mind betting that you'll talk about some lofty subject, +something serious and learned. How delightful, how tactful that +will be!" + +"I should think it would be very foolish indeed, unless it +happened to come in appropriately." + +"Look here, once for all," cried Aglaya, boiling over, "if I hear +you talking about capital punishment, or the economical condition +of Russia, or about Beauty redeeming the world, or anything of +that sort, I'll--well, of course I shall laugh and seem very +pleased, but I warn you beforehand, don't look me in the face +again! I'm serious now, mind, this time I AM REALLY serious." She +certainly did say this very seriously, so much so, that she +looked quite different from what she usually was, and the prince +could not help noticing the fact. She did not seem to be joking +in the slightest degree. + +"Well, you've put me into such a fright that I shall certainly +make a fool of myself, and very likely break something too. I +wasn't a bit alarmed before, but now I'm as nervous as can be." + +"Then don't speak at all. Sit still and don't talk." + +"Oh, I can't do that, you know! I shall say something foolish out +of pure 'funk,' and break something for the same excellent +reason; I know I shall. Perhaps I shall slip and fall on the +slippery floor; I've done that before now, you know. I shall +dream of it all night now. Why did you say anything about it?" + +Aglaya looked blackly at him. + +"Do you know what, I had better not come at all tomorrow! I'll +plead sick-list and stay away," said the prince, with decision. + +Aglaya stamped her foot, and grew quite pale with anger. + +Oh, my goodness! Just listen to that! 'Better not come,' when the +party is on purpose for him! Good Lord! What a delightful thing +it is to have to do with such a--such a stupid as you are!" + +"Well, I'll come, I'll come," interrupted the prince, hastily, +"and I'll give you my word of honour that I will sit the whole +evening and not say a word." + +"I believe that's the best thing you can do. You said you'd +'plead sick-list' just now; where in the world do you get hold of +such expressions? Why do you talk to me like this? Are you trying +to irritate me, or what?" + +"Forgive me, it's a schoolboy expression. I won't do it again. I +know quite well, I see it, that you are anxious on my account +(now, don't be angry), and it makes me very happy to see it. You +wouldn't believe how frightened I am of misbehaving somehow, and +how glad I am of your instructions. But all this panic is simply +nonsense, you know, Aglaya! I give you my word it is; I am so +pleased that you are such a child, such a dear good child. How +CHARMING you can be if you like, Aglaya." + +Aglaya wanted to be angry, of course, but suddenly some quite +unexpected feeling seized upon her heart, all in a moment. + +"And you won't reproach me for all these rude words of mine--some +day--afterwards?" she asked, of a sudden. + +"What an idea! Of course not. And what are you blushing for +again? And there comes that frown once more! You've taken to +looking too gloomy sometimes, Aglaya, much more than you used to. +I know why it is." + +"Be quiet, do be quiet!" + +"No, no, I had much better speak out. I have long wished to say +it, and HAVE said it, but that's not enough, for you didn't +believe me. Between us two there stands a being who--" + +"Be quiet, be quiet, be quiet, be quiet!" Aglaya struck in, +suddenly, seizing his hand in hers, and gazing at him almost in +terror. + +At this moment she was called by someone. She broke loose from +him with an air of relief and ran away. + +The prince was in a fever all night. It was strange, but he had +suffered from fever for several nights in succession. On this +particular night, while in semi-delirium, he had an idea: what if +on the morrow he were to have a fit before everybody? The thought +seemed to freeze his blood within him. All night he fancied +himself in some extraordinary society of strange persons. The +worst of it was that he was talking nonsense; he knew that he +ought not to speak at all, and yet he talked the whole time; he +seemed to be trying to persuade them all to something. Evgenie +and Hippolyte were among the guests, and appeared to be great +friends. + +He awoke towards nine o'clock with a headache, full of confused +ideas and strange impressions. For some reason or other he felt +most anxious to see Rogojin, to see and talk to him, but what he +wished to say he could not tell. Next, he determined to go and +see Hippolyte. His mind was in a confused state, so much so that +the incidents of the morning seemed to be imperfectly realized, +though acutely felt. + +One of these incidents was a visit from Lebedeff. Lebedeff came +rather early--before ten--but he was tipsy already. Though the +prince was not in an observant condition, yet he could not avoid +seeing that for at least three days--ever since General Ivolgin +had left the house Lebedeff had been behaving very badly. He +looked untidy and dirty at all times of the day, and it was said +that he had begun to rage about in his own house, and that his +temper was very bad. As soon as he arrived this morning, he began +to hold forth, beating his breast and apparently blaming himself +for something. + +"I've--I've had a reward for my meanness--I've had a slap in the +face," he concluded, tragically. + +"A slap in the face? From whom? And so early in the morning?" + +"Early?" said Lebedeff, sarcastically. "Time counts for nothing, +even in physical chastisement; but my slap in the face was not +physical, it was moral." + +He suddenly took a seat, very unceremoniously, and began his +story. It was very disconnected; the prince frowned, and wished +he could get away; but suddenly a few words struck him. He sat +stiff with wonder--Lebedeff said some extraordinary things. + +In the first place he began about some letter; the name of Aglaya +Ivanovna came in. Then suddenly he broke off and began to accuse +the prince of something; he was apparently offended with him. At +first he declared that the prince had trusted him with his +confidences as to "a certain person" (Nastasia Philipovna), but +that of late his friendship had been thrust back into his bosom, +and his innocent question as to "approaching family changes" had +been curtly put aside, which Lebedeff declared, with tipsy tears, +he could not bear; especially as he knew so much already both +from Rogojin and Nastasia Philipovna and her friend, and from +Varvara Ardalionovna, and even from Aglaya Ivanovna, through his +daughter Vera. "And who told Lizabetha Prokofievna something in +secret, by letter? Who told her all about the movements of a +certain person called Nastasia Philipovna? Who was the anonymous +person, eh? Tell me!" + +"Surely not you?" cried the prince. + +"Just so," said Lebedeff, with dignity; "and only this very +morning I have sent up a letter to the noble lady, stating that I +have a matter of great importance to communicate. She received +the letter; I know she got it; and she received ME, too." + +"Have you just seen Lizabetha Prokofievna?" asked the prince, +scarcely believing his ears. + +"Yes, I saw her, and got the said slap in the face as mentioned. +She chucked the letter back to me unopened, and kicked me out of +the house, morally, not physically, although not far off it." + +"What letter do you mean she returned unopened?" + +"What! didn't I tell you? Ha, ha, ha! I thought I had. Why, I +received a letter, you know, to be handed over--"From whom? To +whom?" + +But it was difficult, if not impossible, to extract anything from +Lebedeff. All the prince could gather was, that the letter had +been received very early, and had a request written on the +outside that it might be sent on to the address given. + +"Just as before, sir, just as before! To a certain person, and +from a certain hand. The individual's name who wrote the letter +is to be represented by the letter A.--" + +"What? Impossible! To Nastasia Philipovna? Nonsense!" cried the +prince. + +"It was, I assure you, and if not to her then to Rogojin, which +is the same thing. Mr. Hippolyte has had letters, too, and all +from the individual whose name begins with an A.," smirked +Lebedeff, with a hideous grin. + +As he kept jumping from subject to subject, and forgetting what +he had begun to talk about, the prince said nothing, but waited, +to give him time. + +It was all very vague. Who had taken the letters, if letters +there were? Probably Vera--and how could Lebedeff have got them? +In all probability, he had managed to steal the present letter +from Vera, and had himself gone over to Lizabetha Prokofievna +with some idea in his head. So the prince concluded at last. + +"You are mad!" he cried, indignantly. + +"Not quite, esteemed prince," replied Lebedeff, with some +acerbity. "I confess I thought of doing you the service of +handing the letter over to yourself, but I decided that it would +pay me better to deliver it up to the noble lady aforesaid, as I +had informed her of everything hitherto by anonymous letters; so +when I sent her up a note from myself, with the letter, you know, +in order to fix a meeting for eight o'clock this morning, I +signed it 'your secret correspondent.' They let me in at once-- +very quickly--by the back door, and the noble lady received me." + +"Well? Go on." + +"Oh, well, when I saw her she almost punched my head, as I say; +in fact so nearly that one might almost say she did punch my +head. She threw the letter in my face; she seemed to reflect +first, as if she would have liked to keep it, but thought better +of it and threw it in my face instead. 'If anybody can have been +such a fool as to trust a man like you to deliver the letter,' +says she,' take it and deliver it! 'Hey! she was grandly +indignant. A fierce, fiery lady that, sir!" + +"Where's the letter now?" + +"Oh, I've still got it, here!" + +And he handed the prince the very letter from Aglaya to Gania, +which the latter showed with so much triumph to his Sister at a +later hour. + +"This letter cannot be allowed to remain in your hands." + +"It's for you--for you! I've brought it you on purpose!" cried +Lebedeff, excitedly. "Why, I'm yours again now, heart and hand, +your slave; there was but a momentary pause in the flow of my +love and esteem for you. Mea culpa, mea culpa! as the Pope of +Rome says. + +"This letter should be sent on at once," said the prince, +disturbed. "I'll hand it over myself." + +"Wouldn't it be better, esteemed prince, wouldn't it be better-- +to--don't you know--" + +Lebedeff made a strange and very expressive grimace; he twisted +about in his chair, and did something, apparently symbolical, +with his hands. + +"What do you mean?" said the prince. + +"Why, open it, for the time being, don't you know?" he said, most +confidentially and mysteriously. + +The prince jumped up so furiously that Lebedeff ran towards the +door; having gained which strategic position, however, he stopped +and looked back to see if he might hope for pardon. + +"Oh, Lebedeff, Lebedeff! Can a man really sink to such depths of +meanness?" said the prince, sadly. + +Lebedeff's face brightened. + +"Oh, I'm a mean wretch--a mean wretch!" he said, approaching the +prince once more, and beating his breast, with tears in his eyes. + +"It's abominable dishonesty, you know!" + +"Dishonesty--it is, it is! That's the very word!" + +"What in the world induces you to act so? You are nothing but a +spy. Why did you write anonymously to worry so noble and generous +a lady? Why should not Aglaya Ivanovna write a note to whomever +she pleases? What did you mean to complain of today? What did +you expect to get by it? What made you go at all?" + +"Pure amiable curiosity,--I assure you--desire to do a service. +That's all. Now I'm entirely yours again, your slave; hang me if +you like!" + +"Did you go before Lizabetha Prokofievna in your present +condition?" inquired the prince. + +"No--oh no, fresher--more the correct card. I only became this +like after the humiliation I suffered there, + +"Well--that'll do; now leave me." + +This injunction had to be repeated several times before the man +could be persuaded to move. Even then he turned back at the door, +came as far as the middle of the room, and there went through his +mysterious motions designed to convey the suggestion that the +prince should open the letter. He did not dare put his suggestion +into words again. + +After this performance, he smiled sweetly and left the room on +tiptoe. + +All this had been very painful to listen to. One fact stood out +certain and clear, and that was that poor Aglaya must be in a +state of great distress and indecision and mental torment ("from +jealousy," the prince whispered to himself). Undoubtedly in this +inexperienced, but hot and proud little head, there were all +sorts of plans forming, wild and impossible plans, maybe; and the +idea of this so frightened the prince that he could not make up +his mind what to do. Something must be done, that was clear. + +He looked at the address on the letter once more. Oh, he was not +in the least degree alarmed about Aglaya writing such a letter; +he could trust her. What he did not like about it was that he +could not trust Gania. + +However, he made up his mind that he would himself take the note +and deliver it. Indeed, he went so far as to leave the house and +walk up the road, but changed his mind when he had nearly reached +Ptitsin's door. However, he there luckily met Colia, and +commissioned him to deliver the letter to his brother as if +direct from Aglaya. Colia asked no questions but simply delivered +it, and Gania consequently had no suspicion that it had passed +through so many hands. + +Arrived home again, the prince sent for Vera Lebedeff and told +her as much as was necessary, in order to relieve her mind, for +she had been in a dreadful state of anxiety since she had missed +the letter. She heard with horror that her father had taken it. +Muishkin learned from her that she had on several occasions +performed secret missions both for Aglaya and for Rogojin, +without, however, having had the slightest idea that in so doing +she might injure the prince in any way. + +The latter, with one thing and another, was now so disturbed and +confused, that when, a couple of hours or so later, a message +came from Colia that the general was ill, he could hardly take +the news in. + +However, when he did master the fact, it acted upon him as a +tonic by completely distracting his attention. He went at once to +Nina Alexandrovna's, whither the general had been carried, and +stayed there until the evening. He could do no good, but there +are people whom to have near one is a blessing at such times. +Colia was in an almost hysterical state; he cried continuously, +but was running about all day, all the same; fetching doctors, of +whom he collected three; going to the chemist's, and so on. + +The general was brought round to some extent, but the doctors +declared that he could not be said to be out of danger. Varia and +Nina Alexandrovna never left the sick man's bedside; Gania was +excited and distressed, but would not go upstairs, and seemed +afraid to look at the patient. He wrung his hands when the prince +spoke to him, and said that "such a misfortune at such a moment" +was terrible. + +The prince thought he knew what Gania meant by "such a moment." + +Hippolyte was not in the house. Lebedeff turned up late in the +afternoon; he had been asleep ever since his interview with the +prince in the morning. He was quite sober now, and cried with +real sincerity over the sick general--mourning for him as though +he were his own brother. He blamed himself aloud, but did not +explain why. He repeated over and over again to Nina Alexandrovna +that he alone was to blame--no one else--but that he had acted +out of "pure amiable curiosity," and that "the deceased," as he +insisted upon calling the still living general, had been the +greatest of geniuses. + +He laid much stress on the genius of the sufferer, as if this +idea must be one of immense solace in the present crisis. + +Nina Alexandrovna--seeing his sincerity of feeling--said at last, +and without the faintest suspicion of reproach in her voice: +"Come, come--don't cry! God will forgive you!" + +Lebedeff was so impressed by these words, and the tone in which +they were spoken, that he could not leave Nina Alexandrovna all +the evening--in fact, for several days. Till the general's death, +indeed, he spent almost all his time at his side. + +Twice during the day a messenger came to Nina Alexandrovna from +the Epanchins to inquire after the invalid. + +When--late in the evening--the prince made his appearance in +Lizabetha Prokofievna's drawing-room, he found it full of guests. +Mrs. Epanchin questioned him very fully about the general as soon +as he appeared; and when old Princess Bielokonski wished to know +"who this general was, and who was Nina Alexandrovna," she +proceeded to explain in a manner which pleased the prince very +much. + +He himself, when relating the circumstances of the general's +illness to Lizabetha Prokofievna, "spoke beautifully," as +Aglaya's sisters declared afterwards--"modestly, quietly, without +gestures or too many words, and with great dignity." He had +entered the room with propriety and grace, and he was perfectly +dressed; he not only did not "fall down on the slippery floor," +as he had expressed it, but evidently made a very favourable +impression upon the assembled guests. + +As for his own impression on entering the room and taking his +seat, he instantly remarked that the company was not in the least +such as Aglaya's words had led him to fear, and as he had dreamed +of--in nightmare form--all night. + +This was the first time in his life that he had seen a little +corner of what was generally known by the terrible name of +"society." He had long thirsted, for reasons of his own, to +penetrate the mysteries of the magic circle, and, therefore, this +assemblage was of the greatest possible interest to him. + +His first impression was one of fascination. Somehow or other he +felt that all these people must have been born on purpose to be +together! It seemed to him that the Epanchins were not having a +party at all; that these people must have been here always, and +that he himself was one of them--returned among them after a long +absence, but one of them, naturally and indisputably. + +It never struck him that all this refined simplicity and nobility +and wit and personal dignity might possibly be no more than an +exquisite artistic polish. The majority of the guests--who were +somewhat empty-headed, after all, in spite of their aristocratic +bearing--never guessed, in their self-satisfied composure, that +much of their superiority was mere veneer, which indeed they had +adopted unconsciously and by inheritance. + +The prince would never so much as suspect such a thing in the +delight of his first impression. + +He saw, for instance, that one important dignitary, old enough to +be his grandfather, broke off his own conversation in order to +listen to HIM--a young and inexperienced man; and not only +listened, but seemed to attach value to his opinion, and was kind +and amiable, and yet they were strangers and had never seen each +other before. Perhaps what most appealed to the prince's +impressionability was the refinement of the old man's courtesy +towards him. Perhaps the soil of his susceptible nature was +really predisposed to receive a pleasant impression. + +Meanwhile all these people-though friends of the family and of +each other to a certain extent--were very far from being such +intimate friends of the family and of each other as the prince +concluded. There were some present who never would think of +considering the Epanchins their equals. There were even some who +hated one another cordially. For instance, old Princess +Bielokonski had all her life despised the wife of the +"dignitary," while the latter was very far from loving Lizabetha +Prokofievna. The dignitary himself had been General Epanchin's +protector from his youth up; and the general considered him so +majestic a personage that he would have felt a hearty contempt +for himself if he had even for one moment allowed himself to pose +as the great man's equal, or to think of him--in his fear and +reverence-as anything less than an Olympic God! There were others +present who had not met for years, and who had no feeling +whatever for each other, unless it were dislike; and yet they met +tonight as though they had seen each other but yesterday in some +friendly and intimate assembly of kindred spirits. + +It was not a large party, however. Besides Princess Bielokonski +and the old dignitary (who was really a great man) and his wife, +there was an old military general--a count or baron with a German +name, a man reputed to possess great knowledge and administrative +ability. He was one of those Olympian administrators who know +everything except Russia, pronounce a word of extraordinary +wisdom, admired by all, about once in five years, and, after +being an eternity in the service, generally die full of honour +and riches, though they have never done anything great, and have +even been hostile to all greatness. This general was Ivan +Fedorovitch's immediate superior in the service; and it pleased +the latter to look upon him also as a patron. On the other hand, +the great man did not at all consider himself Epanchin's patron. +He was always very cool to him, while taking advantage of his +ready services, and would instantly have put another in his place +if there had been the slightest reason for the change. + +Another guest was an elderly, important-looking gentleman, a +distant relative of Lizabetha Prokofievna's. This gentleman was +rich, held a good position, was a great talker, and had the +reputation of being "one of the dissatisfied," though not +belonging to the dangerous sections of that class. He had the +manners, to some extent, of the English aristocracy, and some of +their tastes (especially in the matter of under-done roast beef, +harness, men-servants, etc.). He was a great friend of the +dignitary's, and Lizabetha Prokofievna, for some reason or other, +had got hold of the idea that this worthy intended at no distant +date to offer the advantages of his hand and heart to Alexandra. + +Besides the elevated and more solid individuals enumerated, there +were present a few younger though not less elegant guests. +Besides Prince S. and Evgenie Pavlovitch, we must name the +eminent and fascinating Prince N.--once the vanquisher of female +hearts all over Europe. This gentleman was no longer in the first +bloom of youth--he was forty-five, but still very handsome. He +was well off, and lived, as a rule, abroad, and was noted as a +good teller of stories. Then came a few guests belonging to a +lower stratum of society--people who, like the Epanchins +themselves, moved only occasionally in this exalted sphere. The +Epanchins liked to draft among their more elevated guests a few +picked representatives of this lower stratum, and Lizabetha +Prokofievna received much praise for this practice, which proved, +her friends said, that she was a woman of tact. The Epanchins +prided themselves upon the good opinion people held of them. + +One of the representatives of the middle-class present today was +a colonel of engineers, a very serious man and a great friend of +Prince S., who had introduced him to the Epanchins. He was +extremely silent in society, and displayed on the forefinger of +his right hand a large ring, probably bestowed upon him for +services of some sort. There was also a poet, German by name, but +a Russian poet; very presentable, and even handsome-the sort of +man one could bring into society with impunity. This gentleman +belonged to a German family of decidedly bourgeois origin, but he +had a knack of acquiring the patronage of "big-wigs," and of +retaining their favour. He had translated some great German poem +into Russian verse, and claimed to have been a friend of a famous +Russian poet, since dead. (It is strange how great a multitude of +literary people there are who have had the advantages of +friendship with some great man of their own profession who is, +unfortunately, dead.) The dignitary's wife had introduced this +worthy to the Epanchins. This lady posed as the patroness of +literary people, and she certainly had succeeded in obtaining +pensions for a few of them, thanks to her influence with those in +authority on such matters. She was a lady of weight in her own +way. Her age was about forty-five, so that she was a very young +wife for such an elderly husband as the dignitary. She had been a +beauty in her day and still loved, as many ladies of forty-five +do love, to dress a little too smartly. Her intellect was nothing +to boast of, and her literary knowledge very doubtful. Literary +patronage was, however, with her as much a mania as was the love +of gorgeous clothes. Many books and translations were dedicated +to her by her proteges, and a few of these talented individuals +had published some of their own letters to her, upon very weighty +subjects. + +This, then, was the society that the prince accepted at once as +true coin, as pure gold without alloy. + +It so happened, however, that on this particular evening all +these good people were in excellent humour and highly pleased +with themselves. Every one of them felt that they were doing the +Epanchins the greatest possible honour by their presence. But +alas! the prince never suspected any such subtleties! For +instance, he had no suspicion of the fact that the Epanchins, +having in their mind so important a step as the marriage of their +daughter, would never think of presuming to take it without +having previously "shown off" the proposed husband to the +dignitary--the recognized patron of the family. The latter, too, +though he would probably have received news of a great disaster +to the Epanchin family with perfect composure, would nevertheless +have considered it a personal offence if they had dared to marry +their daughter without his advice, or we might almost say, his +leave. + +The amiable and undoubtedly witty Prince N. could not but feel +that he was as a sun, risen for one night only to shine upon the +Epanchin drawing-room. He accounted them immeasurably his +inferiors, and it was this feeling which caused his special +amiability and delightful ease and grace towards them. He knew +very well that he must tell some story this evening for the +edification of the company, and led up to it with the inspiration +of anticipatory triumph. + +The prince, when he heard the story afterwards, felt that he had +never yet come across so wonderful a humorist, or such remarkable +brilliancy as was shown by this man; and yet if he had only known +it, this story was the oldest, stalest, and most worn-out yarn, +and every drawing-room in town was sick to death of it. It was +only in the innocent Epanchin household that it passed for a new +and brilliant tale--as a sudden and striking reminiscence of a +splendid and talented man. + +Even the German poet, though as amiable as possible, felt that he +was doing the house the greatest of honours by his presence in +it. + +But the prince only looked at the bright side; he did not turn +the coat and see the shabby lining. + +Aglaya had not foreseen that particular calamity. She herself +looked wonderfully beautiful this evening. All three sisters were +dressed very tastefully, and their hair was done with special +care. + +Aglaya sat next to Evgenie Pavlovitch, and laughed and talked to +him with an unusual display of friendliness. Evgenie himself +behaved rather more sedately than usual, probably out of respect +to the dignitary. Evgenie had been known in society for a long +while. He had appeared at the Epanchins' today with crape on his +hat, and Princess Bielokonski had commended this action on his +part. Not every society man would have worn crape for "such an +uncle." Lizabetha Prokofievna had liked it also, but was too +preoccupied to take much notice. The prince remarked that Aglaya +looked attentively at him two or three times, and seemed to be +satisfied with his behaviour. + +Little by little he became very happy indeed. All his late +anxieties and apprehensions (after his conversation with +Lebedeff) now appeared like so many bad dreams--impossible, and +even laughable. + +He did not speak much, only answering such questions as were put +to him, and gradually settled down into unbroken silence, +listening to what went on, and steeped in perfect satisfaction +and contentment. + +Little by little a sort of inspiration, however, began to stir +within him, ready to spring into life at the right moment. When +he did begin to speak, it was accidentally, in response to a +question, and apparently without any special object. + +VII. + +WHILE he feasted his eyes upon Aglaya, as she talked merrily with +Evgenie and Prince N., suddenly the old anglomaniac, who was +talking to the dignitary in another corner of the room, +apparently telling him a story about something or other--suddenly +this gentleman pronounced the name of "Nicolai Andreevitch +Pavlicheff" aloud. The prince quickly turned towards him, and +listened. + +The conversation had been on the subject of land, and the present +disorders, and there must have been something amusing said, for +the old man had begun to laugh at his companion's heated +expressions. + +The latter was describing in eloquent words how, in consequence +of recent legislation, he was obliged to sell a beautiful estate +in the N. province, not because he wanted ready money--in +fact, he was obliged to sell it at half its value. "To avoid +another lawsuit about the Pavlicheff estate, I ran away," he +said. "With a few more inheritances of that kind I should soon be +ruined!" + +At this point General Epanchin, noticing how interested Muishkin +had become in the conversation, said to him, in a low tone: + +"That gentleman--Ivan Petrovitch--is a relation of your late +friend, Mr. Pavlicheff. You wanted to find some of his relations, +did you not?" + +The general, who had been talking to his chief up to this moment, +had observed the prince's solitude and silence, and was anxious +to draw him into the conversation, and so introduce him again to +the notice of some of the important personages. + +"Lef Nicolaievitch was a ward of Nicolai Andreevitch Pavlicheff, +after the death of his own parents," he remarked, meeting Ivan +Petrovitch's eye. + +"Very happy to meet him, I'm sure," remarked the latter. "I +remember Lef Nicolaievitch well. When General Epanchin introduced +us just now, I recognized you at once, prince. You are very +little changed, though I saw you last as a child of some ten or +eleven years old. There was something in your features, I +suppose, that--" + +"You saw me as a child!" exclaimed the prince, with surprise. + +"Oh! yes, long ago," continued Ivan Petrovitch, "while you were +living with my cousin at Zlatoverhoff. You don't remember me? No, +I dare say you don't; you had some malady at the time, I +remember. It was so serious that I was surprised--" + +"No; I remember nothing!" said the prince. A few more words of +explanation followed, words which were spoken without the +smallest excitement by his companion, but which evoked the +greatest agitation in the prince; and it was discovered that two +old ladies to whose care the prince had been left by Pavlicheff, +and who lived at Zlatoverhoff, were also relations of Ivan +Petrovitch. + +The latter had no idea and could give no information as to why +Pavlicheff had taken so great an interest in the little prince, +his ward. + +"In point of fact I don't think I thought much about it," said +the old fellow. He seemed to have a wonderfully good memory, +however, for he told the prince all about the two old ladies, +Pavlicheff's cousins, who had taken care of him, and whom, he +declared, he had taken to task for being too severe with the +prince as a small sickly boy--the elder sister, at least; the +younger had been kind, he recollected. They both now lived in +another province, on a small estate left to them by Pavlicheff. +The prince listened to all this with eyes sparkling with emotion +and delight. + +He declared with unusual warmth that he would never forgive +himself for having travelled about in the central provinces +during these last six months without having hunted up his two old +friends. + +He declared, further, that he had intended to go every day, but +had always been prevented by circumstances; but that now he would +promise himself the pleasure--however far it was, he would find +them out. And so Ivan Petrovitch REALLY knew Natalia Nikitishna!- +-what a saintly nature was hers!--and Martha Nikitishna! Ivan +Petrovitch must excuse him, but really he was not quite fair on +dear old Martha. She was severe, perhaps; but then what else +could she be with such a little idiot as he was then? (Ha, ha.) +He really was an idiot then, Ivan Petrovitch must know, though he +might not believe it. (Ha, ha.) So he had really seen him there! +Good heavens! And was he really and truly and actually a cousin +of Pavlicheff's? + +"I assure you of it," laughed Ivan Petrovitch, gazing amusedly at +the prince. + +"Oh! I didn't say it because I DOUBT the fact, you know. (Ha, +ha.) How could I doubt such a thing? (Ha, ha, ha.) I made the +remark because--because Nicolai Andreevitch Pavlicheff was such a +splendid man, don't you see! Such a high-souled man, he really +was, I assure you." + +The prince did not exactly pant for breath, but he "seemed almost +to CHOKE out of pure simplicity and goodness of heart," as +Adelaida expressed it, on talking the party over with her fiance, +the Prince S., next morning. + +"But, my goodness me," laughed Ivan Petrovitch, "why can't I be +cousin to even a splendid man?" + +"Oh, dear!" cried the prince, confused, trying to hurry his words +out, and growing more and more eager every moment: "I've gone and +said another stupid thing. I don't know what to say. I--I didn't +mean that, you know--I--I--he really was such a splendid man, +wasn't he?" + +The prince trembled all over. Why was he so agitated? Why had he +flown into such transports of delight without any apparent +reason? He had far outshot the measure of joy and emotion +consistent with the occasion. Why this was it would be difficult +to say. + +He seemed to feel warmly and deeply grateful to someone for +something or other--perhaps to Ivan Petrovitch; but likely enough +to all the guests, individually, and collectively. He was much +too happy. + +Ivan Petrovitch began to stare at him with some surprise; the +dignitary, too, looked at him with considerable attention; +Princess Bielokonski glared at him angrily, and compressed her +lips. Prince N., Evgenie, Prince S., and the girls, all broke off +their own conversations and listened. Aglaya seemed a little +startled; as for Lizabetha Prokofievna, her heart sank within +her. + +This was odd of Lizabetha Prokofievna and her daughters. They had +themselves decided that it would be better if the prince did not +talk all the evening. Yet seeing him sitting silent and alone, +but perfectly happy, they had been on the point of exerting +themselves to draw him into one of the groups of talkers around +the room. Now that he was in the midst of a talk they became more +than ever anxious and perturbed. + +"That he was a splendid man is perfectly true; you are quite +right," repeated Ivan Petrovitch, but seriously this time. "He +was a fine and a worthy fellow--worthy, one may say, of the +highest respect," he added, more and more seriously at each +pause; " and it is agreeable to see, on your part, such--" + +"Wasn't it this same Pavlicheff about whom there was a strange +story in connection with some abbot? I don't remember who the +abbot was, but I remember at one time everybody was talking about +it," remarked the old dignitary. + +"Yes--Abbot Gurot, a Jesuit," said Ivan Petrovitch. "Yes, that's +the sort of thing our best men are apt to do. A man of rank, too, +and rich--a man who, if he had continued to serve, might have +done anything; and then to throw up the service and everything +else in order to go over to Roman Catholicism and turn Jesuit-- +openly, too--almost triumphantly. By Jove! it was positively a +mercy that he died when he did--it was indeed--everyone said so +at the time." + +The prince was beside himself. + +"Pavlicheff?--Pavlicheff turned Roman Catholic? Impossible!" he +cried, in horror. + +"H'm! impossible is rather a strong word," said Ivan Petrovitch. +"You must allow, my dear prince... However, of course you +value the memory of the deceased so very highly; and he certainly +was the kindest of men; to which fact, by the way, I ascribe, +more than to anything else, the success of the abbot in +influencing his religious convictions. But you may ask me, if you +please, how much trouble and worry I, personally, had over that +business, and especially with this same Gurot! Would you believe +it," he continued, addressing the dignitary, "they actually tried +to put in a claim under the deceased's will, and I had to resort +to the very strongest measures in order to bring them to their +senses? I assure you they knew their cue, did these gentlemen-- +wonderful! Thank goodness all this was in Moscow, and I got the +Court, you know, to help me, and we soon brought them to their +senses. + +"You wouldn't believe how you have pained and astonished me," +cried the prince. + +"Very sorry; but in point of fact, you know, it was all nonsense +and would have ended in smoke, as usual--I'm sure of that. Last +year,"--he turned to the old man again,--"Countess K. joined some +Roman Convent abroad. Our people never seem to be able to offer +any resistance so soon as they get into the hands of these-- +intriguers--especially abroad." + +"That is all thanks to our lassitude, I think," replied the old +man, with authority. "And then their way of preaching; they have +a skilful manner of doing it! And they know how to startle one, +too. I got quite a fright myself in '32, in Vienna, I assure you; +but I didn't cave in to them, I ran away instead, ha, ha!" + +"Come, come, I've always heard that you ran away with the +beautiful Countess Levitsky that time--throwing up everything in +order to do it--and not from the Jesuits at all," said Princess +Bielokonski, suddenly. + +"Well, yes--but we call it from the Jesuits, you know; it comes +to the same thing," laughed the old fellow, delighted with the +pleasant recollection. + +"You seem to be very religious," he continued, kindly, addressing +the prince," which is a thing one meets so seldom nowadays among +young people." + +The prince was listening open-mouthed, and still in a condition +of excited agitation. The old man was evidently interested in +him, and anxious to study him more closely. + +"Pavlicheff was a man of bright intellect and a good Christian, a +sincere Christian," said the prince, suddenly. "How could he +possibly embrace a faith which is unchristian? Roman Catholicism +is, so to speak, simply the same thing as unchristianity," he +added with flashing eyes, which seemed to take in everybody in +the room. + +"Come, that's a little TOO strong, isn't it?" murmured the old +man, glancing at General Epanchin in surprise. + +"How do you make out that the Roman Catholic religion is +UNCHRISTIAN? What is it, then?" asked Ivan Petrovitch, turning to +the prince. + +"It is not a Christian religion, in the first place," said the +latter, in extreme agitation, quite out of proportion to the +necessity of the moment. "And in the second place, Roman +Catholicism is, in my opinion, worse than Atheism itself. Yes-- +that is my opinion. Atheism only preaches a negation, but +Romanism goes further; it preaches a disfigured, distorted +Christ--it preaches Anti-Christ--I assure you, I swear it! This +is my own personal conviction, and it has long distressed me. The +Roman Catholic believes that the Church on earth cannot stand +without universal temporal Power. He cries 'non possumus!' In my +opinion the Roman Catholic religion is not a faith at all, but +simply a continuation of the Roman Empire, and everything is +subordinated to this idea--beginning with faith. The Pope has +seized territories and an earthly throne, and has held them with +the sword. And so the thing has gone on, only that to the sword +they have added lying, intrigue, deceit, fanaticism, +superstition, swindling;--they have played fast and loose with +the most sacred and sincere feelings of men;--they have exchanged +everything--everything for money, for base earthly POWER! And is +this not the teaching of Anti-Christ? How could the upshot of all +this be other than Atheism? Atheism is the child of Roman +Catholicism--it proceeded from these Romans themselves, though +perhaps they would not believe it. It grew and fattened on hatred +of its parents; it is the progeny of their lies and spiritual +feebleness. Atheism! In our country it is only among the upper +classes that you find unbelievers; men who have lost the root or +spirit of their faith; but abroad whole masses of the people are +beginning to profess unbelief--at first because of the darkness +and lies by which they were surrounded; but now out of +fanaticism, out of loathing for the Church and Christianity!" + +The prince paused to get breath. He had spoken with extraordinary +rapidity, and was very pale. + +All present interchanged glances, but at last the old dignitary +burst out laughing frankly. Prince N. took out his eye-glass to +have a good look at the speaker. The German poet came out of his +corner and crept nearer to the table, with a spiteful smile. + +"You exaggerate the matter very much," said Ivan Petrovitch, with +rather a bored air. "There are, in the foreign Churches, many +representatives of their faith who are worthy of respect and +esteem." + +"Oh, but I did not speak of individual representatives. I was +merely talking about Roman Catholicism, and its essence--of Rome +itself. A Church can never entirely disappear; I never hinted at +that!" + +"Agreed that all this may be true; but we need not discuss a +subject which belongs to the domain of theology." + +"Oh, no; oh, no! Not to theology alone, I assure you! Why, +Socialism is the progeny of Romanism and of the Romanistic +spirit. It and its brother Atheism proceed from Despair in +opposition to Catholicism. It seeks to replace in itself the +moral power of religion, in order to appease the spiritual thirst +of parched humanity and save it; not by Christ, but by force. +'Don't dare to believe in God, don't dare to possess any +individuality, any property! Fraternite ou la Mort; two million +heads. 'By their works ye shall know them'--we are told. And we +must not suppose that all this is harmless and without danger to +ourselves. Oh, no; we must resist, and quickly, quickly! We must +let out Christ shine forth upon the Western nations, our Christ +whom we have preserved intact, and whom they have never known. +Not as slaves, allowing ourselves to be caught by the hooks of +the Jesuits, but carrying our Russian civilization to THEM, we +must stand before them, not letting it be said among us that +their preaching is 'skilful,' as someone expressed it just now." + +"But excuse me, excuse me;" cried Ivan Petrovitch considerably +disturbed, and looking around uneasily. "Your ideas are, of +course, most praiseworthy, and in the highest degree patriotic; +but you exaggerate the matter terribly. It would be better if we +dropped the subject." + +"No, sir, I do not exaggerate, I understate the matter, if +anything, undoubtedly understate it; simply because I cannot +express myself as I should like, but--" + +"Allow me!" + +The prince was silent. He sat straight up in his chair and gazed +fervently at Ivan Petrovitch. + +"It seems to me that you have been too painfully impressed by the +news of what happened to your good benefactor," said the old +dignitary, kindly, and with the utmost calmness of demeanour. +"You are excitable, perhaps as the result of your solitary life. +If you would make up your mind to live more among your fellows in +society, I trust, I am sure, that the world would be glad to +welcome you, as a remarkable young man; and you would soon find +yourself able to look at things more calmly. You would see that +all these things are much simpler than you think; and, besides, +these rare cases come about, in my opinion, from ennui and from +satiety." + +"Exactly, exactly! That is a true thought!" cried the prince. +"From ennui, from our ennui but not from satiety! Oh, no, you are +wrong there! Say from THIRST if you like; the thirst of fever! +And please do not suppose that this is so small a matter that we +may have a laugh at it and dismiss it; we must be able to foresee +our disasters and arm against them. We Russians no sooner arrive +at the brink of the water, and realize that we are really at the +brink, than we are so delighted with the outlook that in we +plunge and swim to the farthest point we can see. Why is this? +You say you are surprised at Pavlicheff's action; you ascribe it +to madness, to kindness of heart, and what not, but it is not so. + +"Our Russian intensity not only astonishes ourselves; all Europe +wonders at our conduct in such cases! For, if one of us goes over +to Roman Catholicism, he is sure to become a Jesuit at once, and +a rabid one into the bargain. If one of us becomes an Atheist, he +must needs begin to insist on the prohibition of faith in God by +force, that is, by the sword. Why is this? Why does he then +exceed all bounds at once? Because he has found land at last, the +fatherland that he sought in vain before; and, because his soul +is rejoiced to find it, he throws himself upon it and kisses it! +Oh, it is not from vanity alone, it is not from feelings of +vanity that Russians become Atheists and Jesuits! But from +spiritual thirst, from anguish of longing for higher things, for +dry firm land, for foothold on a fatherland which they never +believed in because they never knew it. It is easier for a +Russian to become an Atheist, than for any other nationality in +the world. And not only does a Russian 'become an Atheist,' but +he actually BELIEVES IN Atheism, just as though he had found a +new faith, not perceiving that he has pinned his faith to a +negation. Such is our anguish of thirst! 'Whoso has no country +has no God.' That is not my own expression; it is the expression +of a merchant, one of the Old Believers, whom I once met while +travelling. He did not say exactly these words. I think his +expression was: + +"'Whoso forsakes his country forsakes his God.' + +"But let these thirsty Russian souls find, like Columbus' +discoverers, a new world; let them find the Russian world, let +them search and discover all the gold and treasure that lies hid +in the bosom of their own land! Show them the restitution of lost +humanity, in the future, by Russian thought alone, and by means +of the God and of the Christ of our Russian faith, and you will +see how mighty and just and wise and good a giant will rise up +before the eyes of the astonished and frightened world; +astonished because they expect nothing but the sword from us, +because they think they will get nothing out of us but barbarism. +This has been the case up to now, and the longer matters go on as +they are now proceeding, the more clear will be the truth of what +I say; and I--" + +But at this moment something happened which put a most unexpected +end to the orator's speech. All this heated tirade, this outflow +of passionate words and ecstatic ideas which seemed to hustle and +tumble over each other as they fell from his lips, bore evidence +of some unusually disturbed mental condition in the young fellow +who had "boiled over" in such a remarkable manner, without any +apparent reason. + +Of those who were present, such as knew the prince listened to +his outburst in a state of alarm, some with a feeling of +mortification. It was so unlike his usual timid self-constraint; +so inconsistent with his usual taste and tact, and with his +instinctive feeling for the higher proprieties. They could not +understand the origin of the outburst; it could not be simply the +news of Pavlicheff's perversion. By the ladies the prince was +regarded as little better than a lunatic, and Princess +Bielokonski admitted afterwards that "in another minute she would +have bolted." + +The two old gentlemen looked quite alarmed. The old general +(Epanchin's chief) sat and glared at the prince in severe +displeasure. The colonel sat immovable. Even the German poet grew +a little pale, though he wore his usual artificial smile as he +looked around to see what the others would do. + +In point of fact it is quite possible that the matter would have +ended in a very commonplace and natural way in a few minutes. The +undoubtedly astonished, but now more collected, General Epanchin +had several times endeavoured to interrupt the prince, and not +having succeeded he was now preparing to take firmer and more +vigorous measures to attain his end. In another minute or two he +would probably have made up his mind to lead the prince quietly +out of the room, on the plea of his being ill (and it was more +than likely that the general was right in his belief that the +prince WAS actually ill), but it so happened that destiny had +something different in store. + +At the beginning of the evening, when the prince first came into +the room, he had sat down as far as possible from the Chinese +vase which Aglaya had spoken of the day before. + +Will it be believed that, after Aglaya's alarming words, an +ineradicable conviction had taken possession of his mind that, +however he might try to avoid this vase next day, he must +certainly break it? But so it was. + +During the evening other impressions began to awaken in his mind, +as we have seen, and he forgot his presentiment. But when +Pavlicheff was mentioned and the general introduced him to Ivan +Petrovitch, he had changed his place, and went over nearer to the +table; when, it so happened, he took the chair nearest to the +beautiful vase, which stood on a pedestal behind him, just about +on a level with his elbow. + +As he spoke his last words he had risen suddenly from his seat +with a wave of his arm, and there was a general cry of horror. + +The huge vase swayed backwards and forwards; it seemed to be +uncertain whether or no to topple over on to the head of one of +the old men, but eventually determined to go the other way, and +came crashing over towards the German poet, who darted out of the +way in terror. + +The crash, the cry, the sight of the fragments of valuable china +covering the carpet, the alarm of the company--what all this +meant to the poor prince it would be difficult to convey to the +mind of the reader, or for him to imagine. + +But one very curious fact was that all the shame and vexation and +mortification which he felt over the accident were less powerful +than the deep impression of the almost supernatural truth of his +premonition. He stood still in alarm--in almost superstitious +alarm, for a moment; then all mists seemed to clear away from his +eyes; he was conscious of nothing but light and joy and ecstasy; +his breath came and went; but the moment passed. Thank God it was +not that! He drew a long breath and looked around. + +For some minutes he did not seem to comprehend the excitement +around him; that is, he comprehended it and saw everything, but +he stood aside, as it were, like someone invisible in a fairy +tale, as though he had nothing to do with what was going on, +though it pleased him to take an interest in it. + +He saw them gather up the broken bits of china; he heard the loud +talking of the guests and observed how pale Aglaya looked, and +how very strangely she was gazing at him. There was no hatred in +her expression, and no anger whatever. It was full of alarm for +him, and sympathy and affection, while she looked around at the +others with flashing, angry eyes. His heart filled with a sweet +pain as he gazed at her. + +At length he observed, to his amazement, that all had taken their +seats again, and were laughing and talking as though nothing had +happened. Another minute and the laughter grew louder--they were +laughing at him, at his dumb stupor--laughing kindly and merrily. +Several of them spoke to him, and spoke so kindly and cordially, +especially Lizabetha Prokofievna--she was saying the kindest +possible things to him. + +Suddenly he became aware that General Epanchin was tapping him on +the shoulder; Ivan Petrovitch was laughing too, but still more +kind and sympathizing was the old dignitary. He took the prince +by the hand and pressed it warmly; then he patted it, and quietly +urged him to recollect himself--speaking to him exactly as he +would have spoken to a little frightened child, which pleased the +prince wonderfully; and next seated him beside himself. + +The prince gazed into his face with pleasure, but still seemed to +have no power to speak. His breath failed him. The old man's face +pleased him greatly. + +"Do you really forgive me?" he said at last. "And--and Lizabetha +Prokofievna too?" The laugh increased, tears came into the +prince's eyes, he could not believe in all this kindness--he was +enchanted. + +"The vase certainly was a very beautiful one. I remember it here +for fifteen years--yes, quite that!" remarked Ivan Petrovitch. + +"Oh, what a dreadful calamity! A wretched vase smashed, and a man +half dead with remorse about it," said Lizabetha Prokofievna, +loudly. "What made you so dreadfully startled, Lef +Nicolaievitch?" she added, a little timidly. "Come, my dear boy! +cheer up. You really alarm me, taking the accident so to heart." + +"Do you forgive me all--ALL, besides the vase, I mean?" said the +prince, rising from his seat once more, but the old gentleman +caught his hand and drew him down again--he seemed unwilling to +let him go. + +"C'est tres-curieux et c'est tres-serieux," he whispered across +the table to Ivan Petrovitch, rather loudly. Probably the prince +heard him. + +"So that I have not offended any of you? You will not believe how +happy I am to be able to think so. It is as it should be. As if I +COULD offend anyone here! I should offend you again by even +suggesting such a thing." + +"Calm yourself, my dear fellow. You are exaggerating again; you +really have no occasion to be so grateful to us. It is a feeling +which does you great credit, but an exaggeration, for all that." + +"I am not exactly thanking you, I am only feeling a growing +admiration for you--it makes me happy to look at you. I dare say +I am speaking very foolishly, but I must speak--I must explain, +if it be out of nothing better than self-respect." + +All he said and did was abrupt, confused, feverish--very likely +the words he spoke, as often as not, were not those he wished to +say. He seemed to inquire whether he MIGHT speak. His eyes +lighted on Princess Bielokonski. + +"All right, my friend, talk away, talk away!" she remarked. "Only +don't lose your breath; you were in such a hurry when you began, +and look what you've come to now! Don't be afraid of speaking-- +all these ladies and gentlemen have seen far stranger people than +yourself; you don't astonish THEM. You are nothing out-of-the-way +remarkable, you know. You've done nothing but break a vase, and +give us all a fright." + +The prince listened, smiling. + +"Wasn't it you," he said, suddenly turning to the old gentleman, +"who saved the student Porkunoff and a clerk called Shoabrin from +being sent to Siberia, two or three months since?" + +The old dignitary blushed a little, and murmured that the prince +had better not excite himself further. + +"And I have heard of YOU," continued the prince, addressing Ivan +Petrovitch, "that when some of your villagers were burned out you +gave them wood to build up their houses again, though they were +no longer your serfs and had behaved badly towards you." + +"Oh, come, come! You are exaggerating," said Ivan Petrovitch, +beaming with satisfaction, all the same. He was right, however, +in this instance, for the report had reached the prince's ears in +an incorrect form. + +"And you, princess," he went on, addressing Princess Bielokonski, +"was it not you who received me in Moscow, six months since, as +kindly as though I had been your own son, in response to a letter +from Lizabetha Prokofievna; and gave me one piece of advice, +again as to your own son, which I shall never forget? Do you +remember?" + +"What are you making such a fuss about?" said the old lady, with +annoyance. "You are a good fellow, but very silly. One gives you +a halfpenny, and you are as grateful as though one had saved your +life. You think this is praiseworthy on your part, but it is not +--it is not, indeed." + +She seemed to be very angry, but suddenly burst out laughing, +quite good-humouredly. + +Lizabetha Prokofievna's face brightened up, too; so did that of +General Epanchin. + +"I told you Lef Nicolaievitch was a man--a man--if only he would +not be in such a hurry, as the princess remarked," said the +latter, with delight. + +Aglaya alone seemed sad and depressed; her face was flushed, +perhaps with indignation. + +"He really is very charming," whispered the old dignitary to Ivan +Petrovitch. + +"I came into this room with anguish in my heart," continued the +prince, with ever-growing agitation, speaking quicker and +quicker, and with increasing strangeness. "I--I was afraid of you +all, and afraid of myself. I was most afraid of myself. When I +returned to Petersburg, I promised myself to make a point of +seeing our greatest men, and members of our oldest families--the +old families like my own. I am now among princes like myself, am +I not? I wished to know you, and it was necessary, very, very +necessary. I had always heard so much that was evil said of you +all--more evil than good; as to how small and petty were your +interests, how absurd your habits, how shallow your education, +and so on. There is so much written and said about you! I came +here today with anxious curiosity; I wished to see for myself +and form my own convictions as to whether it were true that the +whole of this upper stratum of Russian society is WORTHLESS, has +outlived its time, has existed too long, and is only fit to die-- +and yet is dying with petty, spiteful warring against that which +is destined to supersede it and take its place--hindering the +Coming Men, and knowing not that itself is in a dying condition. +I did not fully believe in this view even before, for there never +was such a class among us--excepting perhaps at court, by +accident--or by uniform; but now there is not even that, is +there? It has vanished, has it not?" + +"No, not a bit of it," said Ivan Petrovitch, with a sarcastic +laugh. + +"Good Lord, he's off again!" said Princess Bielokonski, +impatiently. + +"Laissez-le dire! He is trembling all over," said the old man, in +a warning whisper. + +The prince certainly was beside himself. + +"Well? What have I seen?" he continued. "I have seen men of +graceful simplicity of intellect; I have seen an old man who is +not above speaking kindly and even LISTENING to a boy like +myself; I see before me persons who can understand, who can +forgive--kind, good Russian hearts--hearts almost as kind and +cordial as I met abroad. Imagine how delighted I must have been, +and how surprised! Oh, let me express this feeling! I have so +often heard, and I have even believed, that in society there was +nothing but empty forms, and that reality had vanished; but I now +see for myself that this can never be the case HERE, among us--it +may be the order elsewhere, but not in Russia. Surely you are not +all Jesuits and deceivers! I heard Prince N.'s story just now. +Was it not simple-minded, spontaneous humour? Could such words +come from the lips of a man who is dead?--a man whose heart and +talents are dried up? Could dead men and women have treated me so +kindly as you have all been treating me to-day? Is there not +material for the future in all this--for hope? Can such people +fail to UNDERSTAND? Can such men fall away from reality?" + +"Once more let us beg you to be calm, my dear boy. We'll talk of +all this another time--I shall do so with the greatest pleasure, +for one," said the old dignitary, with a smile. + +Ivan Petrovitch grunted and twisted round in his chair. General +Epanchin moved nervously. The latter's chief had started a +conversation with the wife of the dignitary, and took no notice +whatever of the prince, but the old lady very often glanced at +him, and listened to what he was saying. + +"No, I had better speak," continued the prince, with a new +outburst of feverish emotion, and turning towards the old man +with an air of confidential trustfulness." Yesterday, Aglaya +Ivanovna forbade me to talk, and even specified the particular +subjects I must not touch upon--she knows well enough that I am +odd when I get upon these matters. I am nearly twenty-seven years +old, and yet I know I am little better than a child. I have no +right to express my ideas, and said so long ago. Only in Moscow, +with Rogojin, did I ever speak absolutely freely! He and I read +Pushkin together--all his works. Rogojin knew nothing of +Pushkin, had not even heard his name. I am always afraid of +spoiling a great Thought or Idea by my absurd manner. I have no +eloquence, I know. I always make the wrong gestures-- +inappropriate gestures--and therefore I degrade the Thought, and +raise a laugh instead of doing my subject justice. I have no +sense of proportion either, and that is the chief thing. I know +it would be much better if I were always to sit still and say +nothing. When I do so, I appear to be quite a sensible sort of a +person, and what's more, I think about things. But now I must +speak; it is better that I should. I began to speak because you +looked so kindly at me; you have such a beautiful face. I +promised Aglaya Ivanovna yesterday that I would not speak all the +evening." + +"Really?" said the old man, smiling. + +"But, at times, I can't help thinking that I am. wrong in feeling +so about it, you know. Sincerity is more important than +elocution, isn't it?" + +"Sometimes." + +"I want to explain all to you--everything--everything! I know you +think me Utopian, don't you--an idealist? Oh, no! I'm not, +indeed--my ideas are all so simple. You don't believe me? You are +smiling. Do you know, I am sometimes very wicked--for I lose my +faith? This evening as I came here, I thought to myself, 'What +shall I talk about? How am I to begin, so that they may be able +to understand partially, at all events?' How afraid I was-- +dreadfully afraid! And yet, how COULD I be afraid--was it not +shameful of me? Was I afraid of finding a bottomless abyss of +empty selfishness? Ah! that's why I am so happy at this moment, +because I find there is no bottomless abyss at all--but good, +healthy material, full of life. + +"It is not such a very dreadful circumstance that we are odd +people, is it? For we really are odd, you know--careless, +reckless, easily wearied of anything. We don't look thoroughly +into matters--don't care to understand things. We are all like +this--you and I, and all of them! Why, here are you, now--you are +not a bit angry with me for calling you odd,' are you? And, if +so, surely there is good material in you? Do you know, I +sometimes think it is a good thing to be odd. We can forgive one +another more easily, and be more humble. No one can begin by +being perfect--there is much one cannot understand in life at +first. In order to attain to perfection, one must begin by +failing to understand much. And if we take in knowledge too +quickly, we very likely are not taking it in at all. I say all +this to you--you who by this time understand so much--and +doubtless have failed to understand so much, also. I am not +afraid of you any longer. You are not angry that a mere boy +should say such words to you, are you? Of course not! You know +how to forget and to forgive. You are laughing, Ivan Petrovitch? +You think I am a champion of other classes of people--that I am +THEIR advocate, a democrat, and an orator of Equality?" The +prince laughed hysterically; he had several times burst into +these little, short nervous laughs. "Oh, no--it is for you, for +myself, and for all of us together, that I am alarmed. I am a +prince of an old family myself, and I am sitting among my peers; +and I am talking like this in the hope of saving us all; in the +hope that our class will not disappear altogether--into the +darkness--unguessing its danger--blaming everything around it, +and losing ground every day. Why should we disappear and give +place to others, when we may still, if we choose, remain in the +front rank and lead the battle? Let us be servants, that we may +become lords in due season!" + +He tried to get upon his feet again, but the old man still +restrained him, gazing at him with increasing perturbation as he +went on. + +"Listen--I know it is best not to speak! It is best simply to +give a good example--simply to begin the work. I have done this-- +I have begun, and--and--oh! CAN anyone be unhappy, really? Oh! +what does grief matter--what does misfortune matter, if one knows +how to be happy? Do you know, I cannot understand how anyone can +pass by a green tree, and not feel happy only to look at it! How +anyone can talk to a man and not feel happy in loving him! Oh, it +is my own fault that I cannot express myself well enough! But +there are lovely things at every step I take--things which even +the most miserable man must recognize as beautiful. Look at a +little child--look at God's day-dawn--look at the grass growing-- +look at the eyes that love you, as they gaze back into your +eyes!" + +He had risen, and was speaking standing up. The old gentleman was +looking at him now in unconcealed alarm. Lizabetha Prokofievna +wrung her hands. "Oh, my God!" she cried. She had guessed the +state of the case before anyone else. + +Aglaya rushed quickly up to him, and was just in time to receive +him in her arms, and to hear with dread and horror that awful, +wild cry as he fell writhing to the ground. + +There he lay on the carpet, and someone quickly placed a cushion +under his head. + +No one had expected this. + +In a quarter of an hour or so Prince N. and Evgenie Pavlovitch +and the old dignitary were hard at work endeavouring to restore +the harmony of the evening, but it was of no avail, and very soon +after the guests separated and went their ways. + +A great deal of sympathy was expressed; a considerable amount of +advice was volunteered; Ivan Petrovitch expressed his opinion +that the young man was "a Slavophile, or something of that sort"; +but that it was not a dangerous development. The old dignitary +said nothing. + +True enough, most of the guests, next day and the day after, were +not in very good humour. Ivan Petrovitch was a little offended, +but not seriously so. General Epanchin's chief was rather cool +towards him for some while after the occurrence. The old +dignitary, as patron of the family, took the opportunity of +murmuring some kind of admonition to the general, and added, in +flattering terms, that he was most interested in Aglaya's future. +He was a man who really did possess a kind heart, although his +interest in the prince, in the earlier part of the evening, was +due, among other reasons, to the latter's connection with +Nastasia Philipovna, according to popular report. He had heard a +good deal of this story here and there, and was greatly +interested in it, so much so that he longed to ask further +questions about it. + +Princess Bielokonski, as she drove away on this eventful evening, +took occasion to say to Lizabetha Prokofievna: + +"Well--he's a good match--and a bad one; and if you want my +opinion, more bad than good. You can see for yourself the man is +an invalid." + +Lizabetha therefore decided that the prince was impossible as a +husband for Aglaya; and during the ensuing night she made a vow +that never while she lived should he marry Aglaya. With this +resolve firmly impressed upon her mind, she awoke next day; but +during the morning, after her early lunch, she fell into a +condition of remarkable inconsistency. + +In reply to a very guarded question of her sisters', Aglaya had +answered coldly, but exceedingly haughtily: + +"I have never given him my word at all, nor have I ever counted +him as my future husband--never in my life. He is just as little +to me as all the rest." + +Lizabetha Prokofievna suddenly flared up. + +"I did not expect that of you, Aglaya," she said. "He is an +impossible husband for you,--I know it; and thank God that we +agree upon that point; but I did not expect to hear such words +from you. I thought I should hear a very different tone from you. +I would have turned out everyone who was in the room last night +and kept him,--that's the sort of man he is, in my opinion!" + +Here she suddenly paused, afraid of what she had just said. But +she little knew how unfair she was to her daughter at that +moment. It was all settled in Aglaya's mind. She was only waiting +for the hour that would bring the matter to a final climax; and +every hint, every careless probing of her wound, did but further +lacerate her heart. + +VIII. + +THIS same morning dawned for the prince pregnant with no less +painful presentiments,--which fact his physical state was, of +course, quite enough to account for; but he was so indefinably +melancholy,--his sadness could not attach itself to anything in +particular, and this tormented him more than anything else. Of +course certain facts stood before him, clear and painful, but his +sadness went beyond all that he could remember or imagine; he +realized that he was powerless to console himself unaided. Little +by little he began to develop the expectation that this day +something important, something decisive, was to happen to him. + +His attack of yesterday had been a slight one. Excepting some +little heaviness in the head and pain in the limbs, he did not +feel any particular effects. His brain worked all right, though +his soul was heavy within him. + +He rose late, and immediately upon waking remembered all about +the previous evening; he also remembered, though not quite so +clearly, how, half an hour after his fit, he had been carried +home. + +He soon heard that a messenger from the Epanchins' had already +been to inquire after him. At half-past eleven another arrived; +and this pleased him. + +Vera Lebedeff was one of the first to come to see him and offer +her services. No sooner did she catch sight of him than she burst +into tears; but when he tried to soothe her she began to laugh. +He was quite struck by the girl's deep sympathy for him; he +seized her hand and kissed it. Vera flushed crimson. + +"Oh, don't, don't!" she exclaimed in alarm, snatching her hand +away. She went hastily out of the room in a state of strange +confusion. + +Lebedeff also came to see the prince, in a great hurry to get +away to the "deceased," as he called General Ivolgin, who was +alive still, but very ill. Colia also turned up, and begged the +prince for pity's sake to tell him all he knew about his father +which had been concealed from him till now. He said he had found +out nearly everything since yesterday; the poor boy was in a +state of deep affliction. With all the sympathy which he could +bring into play, the prince told Colia the whole story without +reserve, detailing the facts as clearly as he could. The tale +struck Colia like a thunderbolt. He could not speak. He listened +silently, and cried softly to himself the while. The prince +perceived that this was an impression which would last for the +whole of the boy's life. He made haste to explain his view of the +matter, and pointed out that the old man's approaching death was +probably brought on by horror at the thought of his action; and +that it was not everyone who was capable of such a feeling. + +Colia's eyes flashed as he listened. + +"Gania and Varia and Ptitsin are a worthless lot! I shall not +quarrel with them; but from this moment our feet shall not travel +the same road. Oh, prince, I have felt much that is quite new to +me since yesterday! It is a lesson for me. I shall now consider +my mother as entirely my responsibility; though she may be safe +enough with Varia. Still, meat and drink is not everything." + +He jumped up and hurried off, remembering suddenly that he was +wanted at his father's bedside; but before he went out of the +room he inquired hastily after the prince's health, and receiving +the latter's reply, added: + +"Isn't there something else, prince? I heard yesterday, but I +have no right to talk about this... If you ever want a true +friend and servant--neither you nor I are so very happy, are we? +--come to me. I won't ask you questions, though." + +He ran off and left the prince more dejected than ever. + +Everyone seemed to be speaking prophetically, hinting at some +misfortune or sorrow to come; they had all looked at him as +though they knew something which he did not know. Lebedeff had +asked questions, Colia had hinted, and Vera had shed tears. What +was it? + +At last, with a sigh of annoyance, he said to himself that it was +nothing but his own cursed sickly suspicion. His face lighted up +with joy when, at about two o'clock, he espied the Epanchins +coming along to pay him a short visit, "just for a minute." They +really had only come for a minute. + +Lizabetha Prokofievna had announced, directly after lunch, that +they would all take a walk together. The information was given in +the form of a command, without explanation, drily and abruptly. +All had issued forth in obedience to the mandate; that is, the +girls, mamma, and Prince S. Lizabetha Prokofievna went off in a +direction exactly contrary to the usual one, and all understood +very well what she was driving at, but held their peace, fearing +to irritate the good lady. She, as though anxious to avoid any +conversation, walked ahead, silent and alone. At last Adelaida +remarked that it was no use racing along at such a pace, and +that she could not keep up with her mother. + +"Look here," said Lizabetha Prokofievna, turning round suddenly; +"we are passing his house. Whatever Aglaya may think, and in +spite of anything that may happen, he is not a stranger to us; +besides which, he is ill and in misfortune. I, for one, shall +call in and see him. Let anyone follow me who cares to." + +Of course every one of them followed her. + +The prince hastened to apologize, very properly, for yesterday's +mishap with the vase, and for the scene generally. + +"Oh, that's nothing," replied Lizabetha; "I'm not sorry for the +vase, I'm sorry for you. H'm! so you can see that there was a +'scene,' can you? Well, it doesn't matter much, for everyone must +realize now that it is impossible to be hard on you. Well, au +revoir. I advise you to have a walk, and then go to sleep again +if you can. Come in as usual, if you feel inclined; and be +assured, once for all, whatever happens, and whatever may have +happened, you shall always remain the friend of the family--mine, +at all events. I can answer for myself." + +In response to this challenge all the others chimed in and re- +echoed mamma's sentiments. + +And so they took their departure; but in this hasty and kindly +designed visit there was hidden a fund of cruelty which Lizabetha +Prokofievna never dreamed of. In the words "as usual," and again +in her added, "mine, at all events," there seemed an ominous +knell of some evil to come. + +The prince began to think of Aglaya. She had certainly given him +a wonderful smile, both at coming and again at leave-taking, but +had not said a word, not even when the others all professed their +friendship for him. She had looked very intently at him, but that +was all. Her face had been paler than usual; she looked as though +she had slept badly. + +The prince made up his mind that he would make a point of going +there "as usual," tonight, and looked feverishly at his watch. + +Vera came in three minutes after the Epanchins had left. "Lef +Nicolaievitch," she said, "Aglaya Ivanovna has just given me a +message for you." + +The prince trembled. + +"Is it a note?" + +"No, a verbal message; she had hardly time even for that. She +begs you earnestly not to go out of the house for a single moment +all to-day, until seven o'clock in the evening. It may have been +nine; I didn't quite hear." + +"But--but, why is this? What does it mean?" + +"I don't know at all; but she said I was to tell you +particularly." + +"Did she say that?" + +"Not those very words. She only just had time to whisper as she +went by; but by the way she looked at me I knew it was important. +She looked at me in a way that made my heart stop beating." + +The prince asked a few more questions, and though he learned +nothing else, he became more and more agitated. + +Left alone, he lay down on the sofa, and began to think. + +"Perhaps," he thought, "someone is to be with them until nine +tonight and she is afraid that I may come and make a fool of myself +again, in public." So he spent his time longing for the evening +and looking at his watch. But the clearing-up of the mystery came +long before the evening, and came in the form of a new and +agonizing riddle. + +Half an hour after the Epanchins had gone, Hippolyte arrived, so +tired that, almost unconscious, he sank into a chair, and broke +into such a fit of coughing that he could not stop. He coughed +till the blood came. His eyes glittered, and two red spots on his +cheeks grew brighter and brighter. The prince murmured something +to him, but Hippolyte only signed that he must be left alone for +a while, and sat silent. At last he came to himself. + +"I am off," he said, hoarsely, and with difficulty. + +"Shall I see you home?" asked the prince, rising from his seat, +but suddenly stopping short as he remembered Aglaya's prohibition +against leaving the house. Hippolyte laughed. + +"I don't mean that I am going to leave your house," he continued, +still gasping and coughing. "On the contrary, I thought it +absolutely necessary to come and see you; otherwise I should not +have troubled you. I am off there, you know, and this time I +believe, seriously, that I am off! It's all over. I did not come +here for sympathy, believe me. I lay down this morning at ten +o'clock with the intention of not rising again before that time; +but I thought it over and rose just once more in order to come +here; from which you may deduce that I had some reason for +wishing to come." + +"It grieves me to see you so, Hippolyte. Why didn't you send me a +message? I would have come up and saved you this trouble." + +"Well, well! Enough! You've pitied me, and that's all that good +manners exact. I forgot, how are you?" + +"I'm all right; yesterday I was a little--" + +"I know, I heard; the china vase caught it! I'm sorry I wasn't +there. I've come about something important. In the first place I +had, the pleasure of seeing Gavrila Ardalionovitch and Aglaya +Ivanovna enjoying a rendezvous on the green bench in the park. I +was astonished to see what a fool a man can look. I remarked upon +the fact to Aglaya Ivanovna when he had gone. I don't think +anything ever surprises you, prince!" added Hippolyte, gazing +incredulously at the prince's calm demeanour. "To be astonished +by nothing is a sign, they say, of a great intellect. In my +opinion it would serve equally well as a sign of great +foolishness. I am not hinting about you; pardon me! I am very +unfortunate today in my expressions. + +"I knew yesterday that Gavrila Ardalionovitch--" began the +prince, and paused in evident confusion, though Hippolyte had +shown annoyance at his betraying no surprise. + +"You knew it? Come, that's news! But no--perhaps better not tell +me. And were you a witness of the meeting?" + +"If you were there yourself you must have known that I was NOT +there!" + +"Oh! but you may have been sitting behind the bushes somewhere. +However, I am very glad, on your account, of course. I was +beginning to be afraid that Mr. Gania--might have the +preference!" + +"May I ask you, Hippolyte, not to talk of this subject? And not +to use such expressions?" + +"Especially as you know all, eh?" + +"You are wrong. I know scarcely anything, and Aglaya Ivanovna is +aware that I know nothing. I knew nothing whatever about this +meeting. You say there was a meeting. Very well; let's leave it +so--" + +"Why, what do you mean? You said you knew, and now suddenly you +know nothing! You say 'very well; let's leave it so.' But I say, +don't be so confiding, especially as you know nothing. You are +confiding simply BECAUSE you know nothing. But do you know what +these good people have in their minds' eye--Gania and his sister? +Perhaps you are suspicious? Well, well, I'll drop the subject!" +he added, hastily, observing the prince's impatient gesture. "But +I've come to you on my own business; I wish to make you a clear +explanation. What a nuisance it is that one cannot die without +explanations! I have made such a quantity of them already. Do you +wish to hear what I have to say?" + +"Speak away, I am listening." + +"Very well, but I'll change my mind, and begin about Gania. Just +fancy to begin with, if you can, that I, too, was given an +appointment at the green bench today! However, I won't deceive +you; I asked for the appointment. I said I had a secret to +disclose. I don't know whether I came there too early, I think I +must have; but scarcely had I sat down beside Aglaya Ivanovna +than I saw Gavrila Ardalionovitch and his sister Varia coming +along, arm in arm, just as though they were enjoying a morning +walk together. Both of them seemed very much astonished, not to +say disturbed, at seeing me; they evidently had not expected the +pleasure. Aglaya Ivanovna blushed up, and was actually a little +confused. I don't know whether it was merely because I was there, +or whether Gania's beauty was too much for her! But anyway, she +turned crimson, and then finished up the business in a very funny +manner. She jumped up from her seat, bowed back to Gania, smiled +to Varia, and suddenly observed: 'I only came here to express my +gratitude for all your kind wishes on my behalf, and to say that +if I find I need your services, believe me--' Here she bowed them +away, as it were, and they both marched off again, looking very +foolish. Gania evidently could not make head nor tail of the +matter, and turned as red as a lobster; but Varia understood at +once that they must get away as quickly as they could, so she +dragged Gania away; she is a great deal cleverer than he is. As +for myself, I went there to arrange a meeting to be held between +Aglaya Ivanovna and Nastasia Philipovna." + +"Nastasia Philipovna!" cried the prince. + +"Aha! I think you are growing less cool, my friend, and are +beginning to be a trifle surprised, aren't you? I'm glad that you +are not above ordinary human feelings, for once. I'll console you +a little now, after your consternation. See what I get for +serving a young and high-souled maiden! This morning I received a +slap in the face from the lady!" + +"A--a moral one?" asked the prince, involuntarily. + +"Yes--not a physical one! I don't suppose anyone--even a woman-- +would raise a hand against me now. Even Gania would hesitate! I +did think at one time yesterday, that he would fly at me, though. +I bet anything that I know what you are thinking of now! You are +thinking: 'Of course one can't strike the little wretch, but one +could suffocate him with a pillow, or a wet towel, when he is +asleep! One OUGHT to get rid of him somehow.' I can see in your +face that you are thinking that at this very second." + +"I never thought of such a thing for a moment," said the prince, +with disgust. + +"I don't know--I dreamed last night that I was being suffocated +with a wet cloth by--somebody. I'll tell you who it was--Rogojin! +What do you think, can a man be suffocated with a wet cloth?" + +"I don't know." + +"I've heard so. Well, we'll leave that question just now. Why am +I a scandal-monger? Why did she call me a scandal-monger? And +mind, AFTER she had heard every word I had to tell her, and had +asked all sorts of questions besides--but such is the way of +women. For HER sake I entered into relations with Rogojin--an +interesting man! At HER request I arranged a personal interview +between herself and Nastasia Philipovna. Could she have been +angry because I hinted that she was enjoying Nastasia +Philipovna's 'leavings'? Why, I have been impressing it upon her +all this while for her own good. Two letters have I written her +in that strain, and I began straight off today about its being +humiliating for her. Besides, the word 'leavings' is not my +invention. At all events, they all used it at Gania's, and she +used it herself. So why am I a scandal-monger? I see--I see you +are tremendously amused, at this moment! Probably you are +laughing at me and fitting those silly lines to my case-- + +"'Maybe sad Love upon his setting smiles, +And with vain hopes his farewell hour beguiles. + +"Ha, ha, ha!" + +Hippolyte suddenly burst into a fit of hysterical laughter, which +turned into a choking cough. + +"Observe," he gasped, through his coughing, "what a fellow Gania +is! He talks about Nastasia's 'leavings,' but what does he want +to take himself?" + +The prince sat silent for a long while. His mind was filled with +dread and horror. + +"You spoke of a meeting with Nastasia Philipovna," he said at +last, in a low voice. + +"Oh--come! Surely you must know that there is to be a meeting +today between Nastasia and Aglaya Ivanovna, and that Nastasia has +been sent for on purpose, through Rogojin, from St. Petersburg? +It has been brought about by invitation of Aglaya Ivanovna and my +own efforts, and Nastasia is at this moment with Rogojin, not far +from here--at Dana Alexeyevna's--that curious friend of hers; and +to this questionable house Aglaya Ivanovna is to proceed for a +friendly chat with Nastasia Philipovna, and for the settlement of +several problems. They are going to play at arithmetic--didn't +you know about it? Word of honour?" + +"It's a most improbable story." + +"Oh, very well! if it's improbable--it is--that's all! And yet-- +where should you have heard it? Though I must say, if a fly +crosses the room it's known all over the place here. However, +I've warned you, and you may be grateful to me. Well--au revoir-- +probably in the next world! One more thing--don't think that I am +telling you all this for your sake. Oh, dear, no! Do you know +that I dedicated my confession to Aglaya Ivanovna? I did though, +and how she took it, ha, ha! Oh, no! I am not acting from any +high, exalted motives. But though I may have behaved like a cad +to you, I have not done HER any harm. I don't apologize for my +words about 'leavings' and all that. I am atoning for that, you +see, by telling you the place and time of the meeting. Goodbye! +You had better take your measures, if you are worthy the name of +a man! The meeting is fixed for this evening--that's certain." + +Hippolyte walked towards the door, but the prince called him back +and he stopped. + +"Then you think Aglaya Ivanovna herself intends to go to Nastasia +Philipovna's tonight?" he asked, and bright hectic spots came +out on his cheeks and forehead. + +"I don't know absolutely for certain; but in all probability it +is so," replied Hippolyte, looking round. "Nastasia would hardly +go to her; and they can't meet at Gania's, with a man nearly dead +in the house." + +"It's impossible, for that very reason," said the prince. "How +would she get out if she wished to? You don't know the habits of +that house--she COULD not get away alone to Nastasia +Philipovna's! It's all nonsense!" + +"Look here, my dear prince, no one jumps out of the window if +they can help it; but when there's a fire, the dandiest gentleman +or the finest lady in the world will skip out! When the moment +comes, and there's nothing else to be done--our young lady will +go to Nastasia Philipovna's! Don't they let the young ladies out +of the house alone, then?" + +"I didn't mean that exactly." + +"If you didn't mean that, then she has only to go down the steps +and walk off, and she need never come back unless she chooses: +Ships are burned behind one sometimes, and one doesn't care to +return whence one came. Life need not consist only of lunches, +and dinners, and Prince S's. It strikes me you take Aglaya +Ivanovna for some conventional boarding-school girl. I said so to +her, and she quite agreed with me. Wait till seven or eight +o'clock. In your place I would send someone there to keep watch, +so as to seize the exact moment when she steps out of the house. +Send Colia. He'll play the spy with pleasure--for you at least. +Ha, ha, ha!" + +Hippolyte went out. + +There was no reason for the prince to set anyone to watch, even +if he had been capable of such a thing. Aglaya's command that he +should stay at home all day seemed almost explained now. Perhaps +she meant to call for him, herself, or it might be, of course, +that she was anxious to make sure of his not coming there, and +therefore bade him remain at home. His head whirled; the whole +room seemed to be turning round. He lay down on the sofa, and +closed his eyes. + +One way or the other the question was to be decided at last-- +finally. + +Oh, no, he did not think of Aglaya as a boarding-school miss, or +a young lady of the conventional type! He had long since feared +that she might take some such step as this. But why did she wish +to see Nastasia? + +He shivered all over as he lay; he was in high fever again. + +No! he did not account her a child. Certain of her looks, certain +of her words, of late, had filled him with apprehension. At times +it had struck him that she was putting too great a restraint upon +herself, and he remembered that he had been alarmed to observe +this. He had tried, all these days, to drive away the heavy +thoughts that oppressed him; but what was the hidden mystery of +that soul? The question had long tormented him, although he +implicitly trusted that soul. And now it was all to be cleared +up. It was a dreadful thought. And "that woman" again! Why did he +always feel as though "that woman" were fated to appear at each +critical moment of his life, and tear the thread of his destiny +like a bit of rotten string? That he always HAD felt this he was +ready to swear, although he was half delirious at the moment. If +he had tried to forget her, all this time, it was simply because +he was afraid of her. Did he love the woman or hate her? This +question he did not once ask himself today; his heart was quite +pure. He knew whom he loved. He was not so much afraid of this +meeting, nor of its strangeness, nor of any reasons there might +be for it, unknown to himself; he was afraid of the woman +herself, Nastasia Philipovna. He remembered, some days +afterwards, how during all those fevered hours he had seen but +HER eyes, HER look, had heard HER voice, strange words of hers; +he remembered that this was so, although he could not recollect +the details of his thoughts. + +He could remember that Vera brought him some dinner, and that he +took it; but whether he slept after dinner, or no, he could not +recollect. + +He only knew that he began to distinguish things clearly from the +moment when Aglaya suddenly appeared, and he jumped up from the +sofa and went to meet her. It was just a quarter past seven then. + +Aglaya was quite alone, and dressed, apparently hastily, in a +light mantle. Her face was pale, as it had been in the morning, +and her eyes were ablaze with bright but subdued fire. He had +never seen that expression in her eyes before. + +She gazed attentively at him. + +"You are quite ready, I observe," she said, with absolute +composure, "dressed, and your hat in your hand. I see somebody +has thought fit to warn you, and I know who. Hippolyte?" + +"Yes, he told me," said the prince, feeling only half alive. + +"Come then. You know, I suppose, that you must escort me there? +You are well enough to go out, aren't you?" + +"I am well enough; but is it really possible?--" + +He broke off abruptly, and could not add another word. This was +his one attempt to stop the mad child, and, after he had made it, +he followed her as though he had no will of his own. Confused as +his thoughts were, he was, nevertheless, capable of realizing the +fact that if he did not go with her, she would go alone, and so +he must go with her at all hazards. He guessed the strength of +her determination; it was beyond him to check it. + +They walked silently, and said scarcely a word all the way. He +only noticed that she seemed to know the road very well; and +once, when he thought it better to go by a certain lane, and +remarked to her that it would be quieter and less public, she +only said, "it's all the same," and went on. + +When they were almost arrived at Daria Alexeyevna's house (it was +a large wooden structure of ancient date), a gorgeously-dressed +lady and a young girl came out of it. Both these ladies took +their seats in a carriage, which was waiting at the door, talking +and laughing loudly the while, and drove away without appearing +to notice the approaching couple. + +No sooner had the carriage driven off than the door opened once +more; and Rogojin, who had apparently been awaiting them, let +them in and closed it after them. + +"There is not another soul in the house now excepting our four +selves," he said aloud, looking at the prince in a strange way. + +Nastasia Philipovna was waiting for them in the first room they +went into. She was dressed very simply, in black. + +She rose at their entrance, but did not smile or give her hand, +even to the prince. Her anxious eyes were fixed upon Aglaya. Both +sat down, at a little distance from one another--Aglaya on the +sofa, in the corner of the room, Nastasia by the window. The +prince and Rogojin remained standing, and were not invited to +sit. + +Muishkin glanced at Rogojin in perplexity, but the latter only +smiled disagreeably, and said nothing. The silence continued for +some few moments. + +An ominous expression passed over Nastasia Philipovna's face, of +a sudden. It became obstinate-looking, hard, and full of hatred; +but she did not take her eyes off her visitors for a moment. + +Aglaya was clearly confused, but not frightened. On entering she +had merely glanced momentarily at her rival, and then had sat +still, with her eyes on the ground, apparently in thought. Once +or twice she glanced casually round the room. A shade of disgust +was visible in her expression; she looked as though she were +afraid of contamination in this place. + +She mechanically arranged her dress, and fidgeted uncomfortably, +eventually changing her seat to the other end of the sofa. +Probably she was unconscious of her own movements; but this very +unconsciousness added to the offensiveness of their suggested +meaning. + +At length she looked straight into Nastasia's eyes, and instantly +read all there was to read in her rival's expression. Woman +understood woman! Aglaya shuddered. + +"You know of course why I requested this meeting?" she said at +last, quietly, and pausing twice in the delivery of this very +short sentence. + +"No--I know nothing about it," said Nastasia, drily and abruptly. + +Aglaya blushed. Perhaps it struck her as very strange and +impossible that she should really be sitting here and waiting for +"that woman's" reply to her question. + +At the first sound of Nastasia's voice a shudder ran through her +frame. Of course "that woman" observed and took in all this. + +"You know quite well, but you are pretending to be ignorant," +said Aglaya, very low, with her eyes on the ground. + +"Why should I?" asked Nastasia Philipovna, smiling slightly. + +"You want to take advantage of my position, now that I am in your +house," continued Aglaya, awkwardly. + +"For that position YOU are to blame and not I," said Nastasia, +flaring up suddenly. "_I_ did not invite YOU, but you me; and to +this moment I am quite ignorant as to why I am thus honoured." + +Aglaya raised her head haughtily. + +"Restrain your tongue!" she said. "I did not come here to fight +you with your own weapons. + +"Oh! then you did come 'to fight,' I may conclude? Dear me!--and +I thought you were cleverer--" + +They looked at one another with undisguised malice. One of these +women had written to the other, so lately, such letters as we +have seen; and it all was dispersed at their first meeting. Yet +it appeared that not one of the four persons in the room +considered this in any degree strange. + +The prince who, up to yesterday, would not have believed that he +could even dream of such an impossible scene as this, stood and +listened and looked on, and felt as though he had long foreseen +it all. The most fantastic dream seemed suddenly to have been +metamorphosed into the most vivid reality. + +One of these women so despised the other, and so longed to +express her contempt for her (perhaps she had only come for that +very purpose, as Rogojin said next day), that howsoever +fantastical was the other woman, howsoever afflicted her spirit +and disturbed her understanding, no preconceived idea of hers +could possibly stand up against that deadly feminine contempt of +her rival. The prince felt sure that Nastasia would say nothing +about the letters herself; but he could judge by her flashing +eyes and the expression of her face what the thought of those +letters must be costing her at this moment. He would have given +half his life to prevent Aglaya from speaking of them. But Aglaya +suddenly braced herself up, and seemed to master herself fully, +all in an instant. + +"You have not quite understood," she said. "I did not come to +quarrel with you, though I do not like you. I came to speak to +you as... as one human being to another. I came with my mind made +up as to what I had to say to you, and I shall not change my +intention, although you may misunderstand me. So much the worse +for you, not for myself! I wished to reply to all you have +written to me and to reply personally, because I think that is +the more convenient way. Listen to my reply to all your letters. +I began to be sorry for Prince Lef Nicolaievitch on the very day +I made his acquaintance, and when I heard--afterwards--of all +that took place at your house in the evening, I was sorry for him +because he was such a simple-minded man, and because he, in the +simplicity of his soul, believed that he could be happy with a +woman of your character. What I feared actually took place; you +could not love him, you tortured him, and threw him over. You +could not love him because you are too proud--no, not proud, that +is an error; because you are too vain--no, not quite that either; +too self-loving; you are self-loving to madness. Your letters to +me are a proof of it. You could not love so simple a soul as his, +and perhaps in your heart you despised him and laughed at him. +All you could love was your shame and the perpetual thought that +you were disgraced and insulted. If you were less shameful, or +had no cause at all for shame, you would be still more unhappy +than you are now. + +Aglaya brought out these thronging words with great satisfaction. +They came from her lips hurriedly and impetuously, and had been +prepared and thought out long ago, even before she had ever +dreamed of the present meeting. She watched with eagerness the +effect of her speech as shown in Nastasia's face, which was +distorted with agitation. + +"You remember," she continued, "he wrote me a letter at that +time; he says you know all about that letter and that you even +read it. I understand all by means of this letter, and understand +it correctly. He has since confirmed it all to me--what I now say +to you, word for word. After receiving his letter I waited; I +guessed that you would soon come back here, because you could +never do without Petersburg; you are still too young and lovely +for the provinces. However, this is not my own idea," she added, +blushing dreadfully; and from this moment the colour never left +her cheeks to the end of her speech. When I next saw the prince I +began to feel terribly pained and hurt on his account. Do not +laugh; if you laugh you are unworthy of understanding what I +say." + +"Surely you see that I am not laughing," said Nastasia, sadly and +sternly. + +"However, it's all the same to me; laugh or not, just as you +please. When I asked him about you, he told me that he had long +since ceased to love you, that the very recollection of you was a +torture to him, but that he was sorry for you; and that when he +thought of you his heart was pierced. I ought to tell you that I +never in my life met a man anything like him for noble simplicity +of mind and for boundless trustfulness. I guessed that anyone who +liked could deceive him, and that he would immediately forgive +anyone who did deceive him; and it was for this that I grew to +love him--" + +Aglaya paused for a moment, as though suddenly brought up in +astonishment that she could have said these words, but at the +same time a great pride shone in her eyes, like a defiant +assertion that it would not matter to her if "this woman" laughed +in her face for the admission just made. + +"I have told you all now, and of course you understand what I +wish of you." + +"Perhaps I do; but tell me yourself," said Nastasia Philipovna, +quietly. + +Aglaya flushed up angrily. + +"I wished to find out from you," she said, firmly, "by what right +you dare to meddle with his feelings for me? By what right you +dared send me those letters? By what right do you continually +remind both me and him that you love him, after you yourself +threw him over and ran away from him in so insulting and shameful +a way?" + +"I never told either him or you that I loved him!" replied +Nastasia Philipovna, with an effort. "And--and I did run away +from him--you are right there," she added, scarcely audibly. + +"Never told either him or me?" cried Aglaya. "How about your +letters? Who asked you to try to persuade me to marry him? Was +not that a declaration from you? Why do you force yourself upon +us in this way? I confess I thought at first that you were +anxious to arouse an aversion for him in my heart by your +meddling, in order that I might give him up; and it was only +afterwards that I guessed the truth. You imagined that you were +doing an heroic action! How could you spare any love for him, +when you love your own vanity to such an extent? Why could you +not simply go away from here, instead of writing me those absurd +letters? Why do you not NOW marry that generous man who loves +you, and has done you the honour of offering you his hand? It is +plain enough why; if you marry Rogojin you lose your grievance; +you will have nothing more to complain of. You will be receiving +too much honour. Evgenie Pavlovitch was saying the other day that +you had read too many poems and are too well educated for--your +position; and that you live in idleness. Add to this your vanity, +and, there you have reason enough--" + +"And do you not live in idleness?" + +Things had come to this unexpected point too quickly. Unexpected +because Nastasia Philipovna, on her way to Pavlofsk, had thought +and considered a good deal, and had expected something different, +though perhaps not altogether good, from this interview; but +Aglaya had been carried away by her own outburst, just as a +rolling stone gathers impetus as it careers downhill, and could +not restrain herself in the satisfaction of revenge. + +It was strange, Nastasia Philipovna felt, to see Aglaya like +this. She gazed at her, and could hardly believe her eyes and +ears for a moment or two. + +Whether she were a woman who had read too many poems, as Evgenie +Pavlovitch supposed, or whether she were mad, as the prince had +assured Aglaya, at all events, this was a woman who, in spite of +her occasionally cynical and audacious manner, was far more +refined and trustful and sensitive than appeared. There was a +certain amount of romantic dreaminess and caprice in her, but +with the fantastic was mingled much that was strong and deep. + +The prince realized this, and great suffering expressed itself in +his face. + +Aglaya observed it, and trembled with anger. + +"How dare you speak so to me?" she said, with a haughtiness which +was quite indescribable, replying to Nastasia's last remark. + +"You must have misunderstood what I said," said Nastasia, in some +surprise. + +"If you wished to preserve your good name, why did you not give +up your--your 'guardian,' Totski, without all that theatrical +posturing?" said Aglaya, suddenly a propos of nothing. + +"What do you know of my position, that you dare to judge me?" +cried Nastasia, quivering with rage, and growing terribly white. + +"I know this much, that you did not go out to honest work, but +went away with a rich man, Rogojin, in order to pose as a fallen +angel. I don't wonder that Totski was nearly driven to suicide by +such a fallen angel." + +"Silence!" cried Nastasia Philipovna. "You are about as fit to +understand me as the housemaid here, who bore witness against her +lover in court the other day. She would understand me better than +you do." + +"Probably an honest girl living by her own toil. Why do you speak +of a housemaid so contemptuously?" + +"I do not despise toil; I despise you when you speak of toil." + +"If you had cared to be an honest woman, you would have gone out +as a laundress." + +Both had risen, and were gazing at one another with pallid faces. + +"Aglaya, don't! This is unfair," cried the prince, deeply +distressed. + +Rogojin was not smiling now; he sat and listened with folded +arms, and lips tight compressed. + +"There, look at her," cried Nastasia, trembling with passion. +"Look at this young lady! And I imagined her an angel! Did you +come to me without your governess, Aglaya Ivanovna? Oh, fie, now +shall I just tell you why you came here today? Shall I tell you +without any embellishments? You came because you were afraid of +me!" + +"Afraid of YOU?" asked Aglaya, beside herself with naive +amazement that the other should dare talk to her like this. + +"Yes, me, of course! Of course you were afraid of me, or you +would not have decided to come. You cannot despise one you fear. +And to think that I have actually esteemed you up to this very +moment! Do you know why you are afraid of me, and what is your +object now? You wished to satisfy yourself with your own eyes as +to which he loves best, myself or you, because you are fearfully +jealous." + +"He has told me already that he hates you," murmured Aglaya, +scarcely audibly. + +"Perhaps, perhaps! I am not worthy of him, I know. But I think +you are lying, all the same. He cannot hate me, and he cannot +have said so. I am ready to forgive you, in consideration of your +position; but I confess I thought better of you. I thought you +were wiser, and more beautiful, too; I did, indeed! Well, take +your treasure! See, he is gazing at you, he can't recollect +himself. Take him, but on one condition; go away at once, this +instant!" + +She fell back into a chair, and burst into tears. But suddenly +some new expression blazed in her eyes. She stared fixedly at +Aglaya, and rose from her seat. + +"Or would you like me to bid him, BID HIM, do you hear, COMMAND +HIM, now, at once, to throw you up, and remain mine for ever? +Shall I? He will stay, and he will marry me too, and you shall +trot home all alone. Shall I?--shall I say the word?" she +screamed like a madwoman, scarcely believing herself that she +could really pronounce such wild words. + +Aglaya had made for the door in terror, but she stopped at the +threshold, and listened. "Shall I turn Rogojin off? Ha! ha! you +thought I would marry him for your benefit, did you? Why, I'll +call out NOW, if you like, in your presence, 'Rogojin, get out!' +and say to the prince, 'Do you remember what you promised me?' +Heavens! what a fool I have been to humiliate myself before them! +Why, prince, you yourself gave me your word that you would marry +me whatever happened, and would never abandon me. You said you +loved me and would forgive me all, and--and resp--yes, you even +said that! I only ran away from you in order to set you free, and +now I don't care to let you go again. Why does she treat me so-- +so shamefully? I am not a loose woman--ask Rogojin there! He'll +tell you. Will you go again now that she has insulted me, before +your eyes, too; turn away from me and lead her away, arm-in-arm? +May you be accursed too, for you were the only one I trusted +among them all! Go away, Rogojin, I don't want you," she +continued, blind with fury, and forcing the words out with dry +lips and distorted features, evidently not believing a single +word of her own tirade, but, at the same time, doing her utmost +to prolong the moment of self-deception. + +The outburst was so terribly violent that the prince thought it +would have killed her. + +"There he is!" she shrieked again, pointing to the prince and +addressing Aglaya. "There he is! and if he does not approach me +at once and take ME and throw you over, then have him for your +own--I give him up to you! I don't want him!" + +Both she and Aglaya stood and waited as though in expectation, +and both looked at the prince like madwomen. + +But he, perhaps, did not understand the full force of this +challenge; in fact, it is certain he did not. All he could see +was the poor despairing face which, as he had said to Aglaya, +"had pierced his heart for ever." + +He could bear it no longer, and with a look of entreaty, mingled +with reproach, he addressed Aglaya, pointing to Nastasia the +while: + +"How can you?" he murmured; "she is so unhappy." + +But he had no time to say another word before. Aglaya's terrible +look bereft him of speech. In that look was embodied so dreadful +a suffering and so deadly a hatred, that he gave a cry and flew +to her; but it was too late. + +She could not hold out long enough even to witness his movement +in her direction. She had hidden her face in her hands, cried +once " Oh, my God!" and rushed out of the room. Rogojin followed +her to undo the bolts of the door and let her out into the +street. + +The prince made a rush after her, but he, was caught and held +back. The distorted, livid face of Nastasia gazed at him +reproachfully, and her blue lips whispered: + +"What? Would you go to her--to her?" + +She fell senseless into his arms. + +He raised her, carried her into the room, placed her in an arm- +chair, and stood over her, stupefied. On the table stood a +tumbler of water. Rogojin, who now returned, took this and +sprinkled a little in her face. She opened her eyes, but for a +moment she understood nothing. + +Suddenly she looked around, shuddered, gave a loud cry, and threw +herself in the prince's arms. + +"Mine, mine!" she cried. "Has the proud young lady gone? Ha, ha, +ha!" she laughed hysterically. "And I had given him up to her! +Why--why did I? Mad--mad! Get away, Rogojin! Ha, ha, ha!" + +Rogojin stared intently at them; then he took his hat, and +without a word, left the room. + +A few moments later, the prince was seated by Nastasia on the +sofa, gazing into her eyes and stroking her face and hair, as he +would a little child's. He laughed when she laughed, and was +ready to cry when she cried. He did not speak, but listened to +her excited, disconnected chatter, hardly understanding a word of +it the while. No sooner did he detect the slightest appearance of +complaining, or weeping, or reproaching, than he would smile at +her kindly, and begin stroking her hair and her cheeks, soothing +and consoling her once more, as if she were a child. + +IX. + +A FORTNIGHT had passed since the events recorded in the last +chapter, and the position of the actors in our story had become +so changed that it is almost impossible for us to continue the +tale without some few explanations. Yet we feel that we ought to +limit ourselves to the simple record of facts, without much +attempt at explanation, for a very patent reason: because we +ourselves have the greatest possible difficulty in accounting for +the facts to be recorded. Such a statement on our part may appear +strange to the reader. How is anyone to tell a story which he +cannot understand himself? In order to keep clear of a false +position, we had perhaps better give an example of what we mean; +and probably the intelligent reader will soon understand the +difficulty. More especially are we inclined to take this course +since the example will constitute a distinct march forward of our +story, and will not hinder the progress of the events remaining +to be recorded. + +During the next fortnight--that is, through the early part of +July--the history of our hero was circulated in the form of +strange, diverting, most unlikely-sounding stories, which passed +from mouth to mouth, through the streets and villas adjoining +those inhabited by Lebedeff, Ptitsin, Nastasia Philipovna and the +Epanchins; in fact, pretty well through the whole town and its +environs. All society--both the inhabitants of the place and +those who came down of an evening for the music--had got hold of +one and the same story, in a thousand varieties of detail--as to +how a certain young prince had raised a terrible scandal in a +most respectable household, had thrown over a daughter of the +family, to whom he was engaged, and had been captured by a woman +of shady reputation whom he was determined to marry at once-- +breaking off all old ties for the satisfaction of his insane +idea; and, in spite of the public indignation roused by his +action, the marriage was to take place in Pavlofsk openly and +publicly, and the prince had announced his intention of going +through with it with head erect and looking the whole world in +the face. The story was so artfully adorned with scandalous +details, and persons of so great eminence and importance were +apparently mixed up in it, while, at the same time, the evidence +was so circumstantial, that it was no wonder the matter gave food +for plenty of curiosity and gossip. + +According to the reports of the most talented gossip-mongers-- +those who, in every class of society, are always in haste to +explain every event to their neighbours--the young gentleman +concerned was of good family--a prince--fairly rich--weak of +intellect, but a democrat and a dabbler in the Nihilism of the +period, as exposed by Mr. Turgenieff. He could hardly talk +Russian, but had fallen in love with one of the Miss Epanchins, +and his suit met with so much encouragement that he had been +received in the house as the recognized bridegroom-to-be of the +young lady. But like the Frenchman of whom the story is told that +he studied for holy orders, took all the oaths, was ordained +priest, and next morning wrote to his bishop informing him that, +as he did not believe in God and considered it wrong to deceive +the people and live upon their pockets, he begged to surrender +the orders conferred upon him the day before, and to inform his +lordship that he was sending this letter to the public press,-- +like this Frenchman, the prince played a false game. It was +rumoured that he had purposely waited for the solemn occasion of +a large evening party at the house of his future bride, at which +he was introduced to several eminent persons, in order publicly +to make known his ideas and opinions, and thereby insult the +"big-wigs," and to throw over his bride as offensively as +possible; and that, resisting the servants who were told off to +turn him out of the house, he had seized and thrown down a +magnificent china vase. As a characteristic addition to the +above, it was currently reported that the young prince really +loved the lady to whom he was engaged, and had thrown her over +out of purely Nihilistic motives, with the intention of giving +himself the satisfaction of marrying a fallen woman in the face +of all the world, thereby publishing his opinion that there is no +distinction between virtuous and disreputable women, but that all +women are alike, free; and a "fallen" woman, indeed, somewhat +superior to a virtuous one. + +It was declared that he believed in no classes or anything else, +excepting "the woman question." + +All this looked likely enough, and was accepted as fact by most +of the inhabitants of the place, especially as it was borne out, +more or less, by daily occurrences. + +Of course much was said that could not be determined absolutely. +For instance, it was reported that the poor girl had so loved her +future husband that she had followed him to the house of the +other woman, the day after she had been thrown over; others said +that he had insisted on her coming, himself, in order to shame +and insult her by his taunts and Nihilistic confessions when she +reached the house. However all these things might be, the public +interest in the matter grew daily, especially as it became clear +that the scandalous wedding was undoubtedly to take place. + +So that if our readers were to ask an explanation, not of the +wild reports about the prince's Nihilistic opinions, but simply +as to how such a marriage could possibly satisfy his real +aspirations, or as to the spiritual condition of our hero at this +time, we confess that we should have great difficulty in giving +the required information. + +All we know is, that the marriage really was arranged, and that +the prince had commissioned Lebedeff and Keller to look after all +the necessary business connected with it; that he had requested +them to spare no expense; that Nastasia herself was hurrying on +the wedding; that Keller was to be the prince's best man, at his +own earnest request; and that Burdovsky was to give Nastasia +away, to his great delight. The wedding was to take place before +the middle of July. + +But, besides the above, we are cognizant of certain other +undoubted facts, which puzzle us a good deal because they seem +flatly to contradict the foregoing. + +We suspect, for instance, that having commissioned Lebedeff and +the others, as above, the prince immediately forgot all about +masters of ceremonies and even the ceremony itself; and we feel +quite certain that in making these arrangements he did so in +order that he might absolutely escape all thought of the wedding, +and even forget its approach if he could, by detailing all +business concerning it to others. + +What did he think of all this time, then? What did he wish for? +There is no doubt that he was a perfectly free agent all through, +and that as far as Nastasia was concerned, there was no force of +any kind brought to bear on him. Nastasia wished for a speedy +marriage, true!--but the prince agreed at once to her proposals; +he agreed, in fact, so casually that anyone might suppose he was +but acceding to the most simple and ordinary suggestion. + +There are many strange circumstances such as this before us; but +in our opinion they do but deepen the mystery, and do not in the +smallest degree help us to understand the case. + +However, let us take one more example. Thus, we know for a fact +that during the whole of this fortnight the prince spent all his +days and evenings with Nastasia; he walked with her, drove with +her; he began to be restless whenever he passed an hour without +seeing her--in fact, to all appearances, he sincerely loved her. +He would listen to her for hours at a time with a quiet smile on +his face, scarcely saying a word himself. And yet we know, +equally certainly, that during this period he several times set +off, suddenly, to the Epanchins', not concealing the fact from +Nastasia Philipovna, and driving the latter to absolute despair. +We know also that he was not received at the Epanchins' so long +as they remained at Pavlofsk, and that he was not allowed an +interview with Aglaya;--but next day he would set off once more +on the same errand, apparently quite oblivious of the fact of +yesterday's visit having been a failure,--and, of course, meeting +with another refusal. We know, too, that exactly an hour after +Aglaya had fled from Nastasia Philipovna's house on that fateful +evening, the prince was at the Epanchins',--and that his +appearance there had been the cause of the greatest consternation +and dismay; for Aglaya had not been home, and the family only +discovered then, for the first time, that the two of them had +been to Nastasia's house together. + +It was said that Elizabetha Prokofievna and her daughters had +there and then denounced the prince in the strongest terms, and +had refused any further acquaintance and friendship with him; +their rage and denunciations being redoubled when Varia +Ardalionovna suddenly arrived and stated that Aglaya had been at +her house in a terrible state of mind for the last hour, and that +she refused to come home. + +This last item of news, which disturbed Lizabetha Prokofievna +more than anything else, was perfectly true. On leaving +Nastasia's, Aglaya had felt that she would rather die than face +her people, and had therefore gone straight to Nina +Alexandrovna's. On receiving the news, Lizabetha and her +daughters and the general all rushed off to Aglaya, followed by +Prince Lef Nicolaievitch--undeterred by his recent dismissal; but +through Varia he was refused a sight of Aglaya here also. The end +of the episode was that when Aglaya saw her mother and sisters +crying over her and not uttering a word of reproach, she had +flung herself into their arms and gone straight home with them. + +It was said that Gania managed to make a fool of himself even on +this occasion; for, finding himself alone with Aglaya for a +minute or two when Varia had gone to the Epanchins', he had +thought it a fitting opportunity to make a declaration of his +love, and on hearing this Aglaya, in spite of her state of mind +at the time, had suddenly burst out laughing, and had put a +strange question to him. She asked him whether he would consent +to hold his finger to a lighted candle in proof of his devotion! +Gania--it was said--looked so comically bewildered that Aglaya +had almost laughed herself into hysterics, and had rushed out of +the room and upstairs,--where her parents had found her. + +Hippolyte told the prince this last story, sending for him on +purpose. When Muishkin heard about the candle and Gania's finger +he had laughed so that he had quite astonished Hippolyte,--and +then shuddered and burst into tears. The prince's condition +during those days was strange and perturbed. Hippolyte plainly +declared that he thought he was out of his mind;--this, however, +was hardly to be relied upon. + +Offering all these facts to our readers and refusing to explain +them, we do not for a moment desire to justify our hero's +conduct. On the contrary, we are quite prepared to feel our share +of the indignation which his behaviour aroused in the hearts of +his friends. Even Vera Lebedeff was angry with him for a while; +so was Colia; so was Keller, until he was selected for best man; +so was Lebedeff himself,--who began to intrigue against him out +of pure irritation;--but of this anon. In fact we are in full +accord with certain forcible words spoken to the prince by +Evgenie Pavlovitch, quite unceremoniously, during the course of a +friendly conversation, six or seven days after the events at +Nastasia Philipovna's house. + +We may remark here that not only the Epanchins themselves, but +all who had anything to do with them, thought it right to break +with the prince in consequence of his conduct. Prince S. even +went so far as to turn away and cut him dead in the street. But +Evgenie Pavlovitch was not afraid to compromise himself by paying +the prince a visit, and did so, in spite of the fact that he had +recommenced to visit at the Epanchins', where he was received +with redoubled hospitality and kindness after the temporary +estrangement. + +Evgenie called upon the prince the day after that on which the +Epanchins left Pavlofsk. He knew of all the current rumours,--in +fact, he had probably contributed to them himself. The prince was +delighted to see him, and immediately began to speak of the +Epanchins;--which simple and straightforward opening quite took +Evgenie's fancy, so that he melted at once, and plunged in medias +res without ceremony. + +The prince did not know, up to this, that the Epanchins had left +the place. He grew very pale on hearing the news; but a moment +later he nodded his head, and said thoughtfully: + +"I knew it was bound to be so." Then he added quickly: + +"Where have they gone to?" + +Evgenie meanwhile observed him attentively, and the rapidity of +the questions, their, simplicity, the prince's candour, and at +the same time, his evident perplexity and mental agitation, +surprised him considerably. However, he told Muishkin all he +could, kindly and in detail. The prince hardly knew anything, for +this was the first informant from the household whom he had met +since the estrangement. + +Evgenie reported that Aglaya had been really ill, and that for +two nights she had not slept at all, owing to high fever; that +now she was better and out of serious danger, but still in a +nervous, hysterical state. + +"It's a good thing that there is peace in the house, at all +events," he continued. "They never utter a hint about the past, +not only in Aglaya's presence, but even among themselves. The old +people are talking of a trip abroad in the autumn, immediately +after Adelaida's wedding; Aglaya received the news in silence." + +Evgenie himself was very likely going abroad also; so were Prince +S. and his wife, if affairs allowed of it; the general was to +stay at home. They were all at their estate of Colmina now, about +twenty miles or so from St. Petersburg. Princess Bielokonski had +not returned to Moscow yet, and was apparently staying on for +reasons of her own. Lizabetha Prokofievna had insisted that it +was quite impossible to remain in Pavlofsk after what had +happened. Evgenie had told her of all the rumours current in town +about the affair; so that there could be no talk of their going +to their house on the Yelagin as yet. + +"And in point of fact, prince," added Evgenie Pavlovitch, "you +must allow that they could hardly have stayed here, considering +that they knew of all that went on at your place, and in the face +of your daily visits to their house, visits which you insisted +upon making in spite of their refusal to see you." + +"Yes--yes, quite so; you are quite right. I wished to see Aglaya +Ivanovna, you know!" said the prince, nodding his head. + +"Oh, my dear fellow," cried Evgenie, warmly, with real sorrow in +his voice, "how could you permit all that to come about as it +has? Of course, of course, I know it was all so unexpected. I +admit that you, only naturally, lost your head, and--and could +not stop the foolish girl; that was not in your power. I quite +see so much; but you really should have understood how seriously +she cared for you. She could not bear to share you with another; +and you could bring yourself to throw away and shatter such a +treasure! Oh, prince, prince!" + +"Yes, yes, you are quite right again," said the poor prince, in +anguish of mind. "I was wrong, I know. But it was only Aglaya who +looked on Nastasia Philipovna so; no one else did, you know." + +"But that's just the worst of it all, don't you see, that there +was absolutely nothing serious about the matter in reality!" +cried Evgenie, beside himself: "Excuse me, prince, but I have +thought over all this; I have thought a great deal over it; I +know all that had happened before; I know all that took place six +months since; and I know there was NOTHING serious about the +matter, it was but fancy, smoke, fantasy, distorted by agitation, +and only the alarmed jealousy of an absolutely inexperienced girl +could possibly have mistaken it for serious reality." + +Here Evgenie Pavlovitch quite let himself go, and gave the reins +to his indignation. + +Clearly and reasonably, and with great psychological insight, he +drew a picture of the prince's past relations with Nastasia +Philipovna. Evgenie Pavlovitch always had a ready tongue, but on +this occasion his eloquence, surprised himself. "From the very +beginning," he said, "you began with a lie; what began with a lie +was bound to end with a lie; such is the law of nature. I do not +agree, in fact I am angry, when I hear you called an idiot; you +are far too intelligent to deserve such an epithet; but you are +so far STRANGE as to be unlike others; that you must allow, +yourself. Now, I have come to the conclusion that the basis of +all that has happened, has been first of all your innate +inexperience (remark the expression 'innate,' prince). Then +follows your unheard-of simplicity of heart; then comes your +absolute want of sense of proportion (to this want you have +several times confessed); and lastly, a mass, an accumulation, of +intellectual convictions which you, in your unexampled honesty of +soul, accept unquestionably as also innate and natural and true. +Admit, prince, that in your relations with Nastasia Philipovna +there has existed, from the very first, something democratic, and +the fascination, so to speak, of the 'woman question'? I know all +about that scandalous scene at Nastasia Philipovna's house when +Rogojin brought the money, six months ago. I'll show you yourself +as in a looking-glass, if you like. I know exactly all that went +on, in every detail, and why things have turned out as they have. +You thirsted, while in Switzerland, for your home-country, for +Russia; you read, doubtless, many books about Russia, excellent +books, I dare say, but hurtful to YOU; and you arrived here; as +it were, on fire with the longing to be of service. Then, on the +very day of your arrival, they tell you a sad story of an ill- +used woman; they tell YOU, a knight, pure and without reproach, +this tale of a poor woman! The same day you actually SEE her; you +are attracted by her beauty, her fantastic, almost demoniacal, +beauty--(I admit her beauty, of course). + +"Add to all this your nervous nature, your epilepsy, and your +sudden arrival in a strange town--the day of meetings and of +exciting scenes, the day of unexpected acquaintanceships, the day +of sudden actions, the day of meeting with the three lovely +Epanchin girls, and among them Aglaya--add your fatigue, your +excitement; add Nastasia' s evening party, and the tone of that +party, and--what were you to expect of yourself at such a moment +as that?" + +"Yes, yes, yes!" said the prince, once more, nodding his head, +and blushing slightly. "Yes, it was so, or nearly so--I know it. +And besides, you see, I had not slept the night before, in the +train, or the night before that, either, and I was very tired." + +"Of course, of course, quite so; that's what I am driving at!" +continued Evgenie, excitedly. "It is as clear as possible, and +most comprehensible, that you, in your enthusiasm, should plunge +headlong into the first chance that came of publicly airing your +great idea that you, a prince, and a pure-living man, did not +consider a woman disgraced if the sin were not her own, but that +of a disgusting social libertine! Oh, heavens! it's +comprehensible enough, my dear prince, but that is not the +question, unfortunately! The question is, was there any reality +and truth in your feelings? Was it nature, or nothing but +intellectual enthusiasm? What do you think yourself? We are told, +of course, that a far worse woman was FORGIVEN, but we don't find +that she was told that she had done well, or that she was worthy +of honour and respect! Did not your common-sense show you what +was the real state of the case, a few months later? The question +is now, not whether she is an innocent woman (I do not insist one +way or the other--I do not wish to); but can her whole career +justify such intolerable pride, such insolent, rapacious egotism +as she has shown? Forgive me, I am too violent, perhaps, but--" + +"Yes--I dare say it is all as you say; I dare say you are quite +right," muttered the prince once more. "She is very sensitive and +easily put out, of course; but still, she..." + +"She is worthy of sympathy? Is that what you wished to say, my +good fellow? But then, for the mere sake of vindicating her +worthiness of sympathy, you should not have insulted and offended +a noble and generous girl in her presence! This is a terrible +exaggeration of sympathy! How can you love a girl, and yet so +humiliate her as to throw her over for the sake of another woman, +before the very eyes of that other woman, when you have already +made her a formal proposal of marriage? And you DID propose to +her, you know; you did so before her parents and sisters. Can you +be an honest man, prince, if you act so? I ask you! And did you +not deceive that beautiful girl when you assured her of your +love?" + +"Yes, you are quite right. Oh! I feel that I am very guilty!" +said Muishkin, in deepest distress. + +"But as if that is enough!" cried Evgenie, indignantly. "As if it +is enough simply to say: 'I know I am very guilty!' You are to +blame, and yet you persevere in evil-doing. Where was your heart, +I should like to know, your CHRISTIAN HEART, all that time? Did +she look as though she were suffering less, at that moment? You +saw her face--was she suffering less than the other woman? How +could you see her suffering and allow it to continue? How could +you?" + +"But I did not allow it," murmured the wretched prince. + +"How--what do you mean you didn't allow?" + +"Upon my word, I didn't! To this moment I don't know how it all +happened. I--I ran after Aglaya Ivanovna, but Nastasia Philipovna +fell down in a faint; and since that day they won't let me see +Aglaya--that's all I know." + +"It's all the same; you ought to have run after Aglaya though the +other was fainting." + +"Yes, yes, I ought--but I couldn't! She would have died--she +would have killed herself. You don't know her; and I should have +told Aglaya everything afterwards--but I see, Evgenie Pavlovitch, +you don't know all. Tell me now, why am I not allowed to see +Aglaya? I should have cleared it all up, you know. Neither +of them kept to the real point, you see. I could never explain +what I mean to you, but I think I could to Aglaya. Oh! my God, my +God! You spoke just now of Aglaya's face at the moment when she +ran away. Oh, my God! I remember it! Come along, come along-- +quick!" He pulled at Evgenie's coat-sleeve nervously and +excitedly, and rose from his chair. + +"Where to?" + +"Come to Aglaya--quick, quick!" + +"But I told you she is not at Pavlofsk. And what would be the use +if she were?" + +"Oh, she'll understand, she'll understand!" cried the prince, +clasping his hands. "She would understand that all this is not +the point--not a bit the real point--it is quite foreign to the +real question." + +"How can it be foreign? You ARE going to be married, are you not? +Very well, then you are persisting in your course. ARE you going +to marry her or not?" + +"Yes, I shall marry her--yes." + +"Then why is it 'not the point'?" + +"Oh, no, it is not the point, not a bit. It makes no difference, +my marrying her--it means nothing." + +"How 'means nothing'? You are talking nonsense, my friend. You +are marrying the woman you love in order to secure her happiness, +and Aglaya sees and knows it. How can you say that it's 'not the +point'?" + +"Her happiness? Oh, no! I am only marrying her--well, because she +wished it. It means nothing--it's all the same. She would +certainly have died. I see now that that marriage with Rogojin +was an insane idea. I understand all now that I did not +understand before; and, do you know, when those two stood +opposite to one another, I could not bear Nastasia Philipovna's +face! You must know, Evgenie Pavlovitch, I have never told anyone +before--not even Aglaya--that I cannot bear Nastasia Philipovna's +face." (He lowered his voice mysteriously as he said this.) You +described that evening at Nastasia Philipovna's (six months +since) very accurately just now; but there is one thing which you +did not mention, and of which you took no account, because you do +not know. I mean her FACE--I looked at her face, you see. Even in +the morning when I saw her portrait, I felt that I could not BEAR +to look at it. Now, there's Vera Lebedeff, for instance, her eyes +are quite different, you know. I'm AFRAID of her face!" he added, +with real alarm. + +"You are AFRAID of it?" + +"Yes--she's mad!" he whispered, growing pale. + +"Do you know this for certain?" asked Evgenie, with the greatest +curiosity. + +"Yes, for certain--quite for certain, now! I have discovered it +ABSOLUTELY for certain, these last few days." + +"What are you doing, then?" cried Evgenie, in horror. "You must +be marrying her solely out of FEAR, then! I can't make head or +tail of it, prince. Perhaps you don't even love her?" + +"Oh, no; I love her with all my soul. Why, she is a child! She's +a child now--a real child. Oh! you know nothing about it at all, +I see." + +"And are you assured, at the same time, that you love Aglaya +too?" + +"Yes--yes--oh; yes!" + +"How so? Do you want to make out that you love them BOTH?" + +"Yes--yes--both! I do!" + +"Excuse me, prince, but think what you are saying! Recollect +yourself!" + +"Without Aglaya--I--I MUST see Aglaya!--I shall die in my sleep +very soon--I thought I was dying in my sleep last night. Oh! if +Aglaya only knew all--I mean really, REALLY all! Because she must +know ALL--that's the first condition towards understanding. Why +cannot we ever know all about another, especially when that other +has been guilty? But I don't know what I'm talking about--I'm so +confused. You pained me so dreadfully. Surely--surely Aglaya has +not the same expression now as she had at the moment when she ran +away? Oh, yes! I am guilty and I know it--I know it! Probably I +am in fault all round--I don't quite know how--but I am in fault, +no doubt. There is something else, but I cannot explain it to +you, Evgenie Pavlovitch. I have no words; but Aglaya will +understand. I have always believed Aglaya will understand--I am +assured she will." + +"No, prince, she will not. Aglaya loved like a woman, like a +human being, not like an abstract spirit. Do you know what, my +poor prince? The most probable explanation of the matter is that +you never loved either the one or the other in reality." + +"I don't know--perhaps you are right in much that you have said, +Evgenie Pavlovitch. You are very wise, Evgenie Pavlovitch--oh! +how my head is beginning to ache again! Come to her, quick--for +God's sake, come!" + +"But I tell you she is not in Pavlofsk! She's in Colmina." + +"Oh, come to Colmina, then! Come--let us go at once!" + +"No--no, impossible!" said Evgenie, rising. + +"Look here--I'll write a letter--take a letter for me!" + +"No--no, prince; you must forgive me, but I can't undertake any +such commissions! I really can't." + +And so they parted. + +Evgenie Pavlovitch left the house with strange convictions. He, +too, felt that the prince must be out of his mind. + +"And what did he mean by that FACE--a face which he so fears, and +yet so loves? And meanwhile he really may die, as he says, +without seeing Aglaya, and she will never know how devotedly he +loves her! Ha, ha, ha! How does the fellow manage to love two of +them? Two different kinds of love, I suppose! This is very +interesting--poor idiot! What on earth will become of him now?" + +X. + +THE prince did not die before his wedding--either by day or +night, as he had foretold that he might. Very probably he passed +disturbed nights, and was afflicted with bad dreams; but, during +the daytime, among his fellow-men, he seemed as kind as ever, and +even contented; only a little thoughtful when alone. + +The wedding was hurried on. The day was fixed for exactly a week +after Evgenie's visit to the prince. In the face of such haste as +this, even the prince's best friends (if he had had any) would +have felt the hopelessness of any attempt to save" the poor +madman." Rumour said that in the visit of Evgenie Pavlovitch was +to be discerned the influence of Lizabetha Prokofievna and her +husband... But if those good souls, in the boundless kindness of +their hearts, were desirous of saving the eccentric young fellow +from ruin, they were unable to take any stronger measures to +attain that end. Neither their position, nor their private +inclination, perhaps (and only naturally), would allow them to +use any more pronounced means. + +We have observed before that even some of the prince's nearest +neighbours had begun to oppose him. Vera Lebedeff's passive +disagreement was limited to the shedding of a few solitary tears; +to more frequent sitting alone at home, and to a diminished +frequency in her visits to the prince's apartments. + +Colia was occupied with his father at this time. The old man died +during a second stroke, which took place just eight days after +the first. The prince showed great sympathy in the grief of the +family, and during the first days of their mourning he was at the +house a great deal with Nina Alexandrovna. He went to the +funeral, and it was observable that the public assembled in +church greeted his arrival and departure with whisperings, and +watched him closely. + +The same thing happened in the park and in the street, wherever +he went. He was pointed out when he drove by, and he often +overheard the name of Nastasia Philipovna coupled with his own as +he passed. People looked out for her at the funeral, too, but she +was not there; and another conspicuous absentee was the captain's +widow, whom Lebedeff had prevented from coming. + +The funeral service produced a great effect on the prince. He +whispered to Lebedeff that this was the first time he had ever +heard a Russian funeral service since he was a little boy. +Observing that he was looking about him uneasily, Lebedeff asked +him whom he was seeking. + +"Nothing. I only thought I--" + +"Is it Rogojin?" + +"Why--is he here?" + +"Yes, he's in church." + +"I thought I caught sight of his eyes!" muttered the prince, in +confusion. "But what of it!--Why is he here? Was he asked?" + +"Oh, dear, no! Why, they don't even know him! Anyone can come in, +you know. Why do you look so amazed? I often meet him; I've seen +him at least four times, here at Pavlofsk, within the last week." + +"I haven't seen him once--since that day!" the prince murmured. + +As Nastasia Philipovna had not said a word about having met +Rogojin since "that day," the prince concluded that the latter +had his own reasons for wishing to keep out of sight. All the day +of the funeral our hero, was in a deeply thoughtful state, while +Nastasia Philipovna was particularly merry, both in the daytime +and in the evening. + +Colia had made it up with the prince before his father's death, +and it was he who urged him to make use of Keller and Burdovsky, +promising to answer himself for the former's behaviour. Nina +Alexandrovna and Lebedeff tried to persuade him to have the +wedding in St. Petersburg, instead of in the public fashion +contemplated, down here at Pavlofsk in the height of the season. +But the prince only said that Nastasia Philipovna desired to have +it so, though he saw well enough what prompted their arguments. + +The next day Keller came to visit the prince. He was in a high +state of delight with the post of honour assigned to him at the +wedding. + +Before entering he stopped on the threshold, raised his hand as +if making a solemn vow, and cried: + +"I won't drink!" + +Then he went up to the prince, seized both his hands, shook them +warmly, and declared that he had at first felt hostile towards +the project of this marriage, and had openly said so in the +billiard-rooms, but that the reason simply was that, with the +impatience of a friend, he had hoped to see the prince marry at +least a Princess de Rohan or de Chabot; but that now he saw that +the prince's way of thinking was ten times more noble than that +of "all the rest put together." For he desired neither pomp nor +wealth nor honour, but only the truth! The sympathies of exalted +personages were well known, and the prince was too highly placed +by his education, and so on, not to be in some sense an exalted +personage! + +"But all the common herd judge 'differently; in the town, at the +meetings, in the villas, at the band, in the inns and the +billiard-rooms, the coming event has only to be mentioned and +there are shouts and cries from everybody. I have even heard talk +of getting up a 'charivari' under the windows on the wedding- +night. So if 'you have need of the pistol' of an honest man, +prince, I am ready to fire half a dozen shots even before you +rise from your nuptial couch!" + +Keller also advised, in anticipation of the crowd making a rush +after the ceremony, that a fire-hose should be placed at the +entrance to the house; but Lebedeff was opposed to this measure, +which he said might result in the place being pulled down. + +"I assure you, prince, that Lebedeff is intriguing against you. +He wants to put you under control. Imagine that! To take 'from +you the use of your free-will and your money--that' is to say, +the two things that distinguish us from the animals! I have heard +it said positively. It is the sober truth." + +The prince recollected that somebody had told him something of +the kind before, and he had, of course, scoffed at it. He only +laughed now, and forgot the hint at once. + +Lebedeff really had been busy for some little while; but, as +usual, his plans had become too complex to succeed, through sheer +excess of ardour. When he came to the prince--the very day before +the wedding--to confess (for he always confessed to the persons +against whom he intrigued, especially when the plan failed), he +informed our hero that he himself was a born Talleyrand, but for +some unknown reason had become simple Lebedeff. He then proceeded +to explain his whole game to the prince, interesting the latter +exceedingly. + +According to Lebedeff's account, he had first tried what he could +do with General Epanchin. The latter informed him that he wished +well to the unfortunate young man, and would gladly do what he +could to "save him," but that he did not think it would be seemly +for him to interfere in this matter. Lizabetha Prokofievna would +neither hear nor see him. Prince S. and Evgenie Pavlovitch only +shrugged their shoulders, and implied that it was no business of +theirs. However, Lebedeff had not lost heart, and went off to a +clever lawyer,--a worthy and respectable man, whom he knew well. +This old gentleman informed him that the thing was perfectly +feasible if he could get hold of competent witnesses as to +Muishkin's mental incapacity. Then, with the assistance of a few +influential persons, he would soon see the matter arranged. + +Lebedeff immediately procured the services of an old doctor, and +carried the latter away to Pavlofsk to see the prince, by way of +viewing the ground, as it were, and to give him (Lebedeff) +counsel as to whether the thing was to be done or not. The visit +was not to be official, but merely friendly. + +Muishkin remembered the doctor's visit quite well. He remembered +that Lebedeff had said that he looked ill, and had better see a +doctor; and although the prince scouted the idea, Lebedeff had +turned up almost immediately with his old friend, explaining that +they had just met at the bedside of Hippolyte, who was very ill, +and that the doctor had something to tell the prince about the +sick man. + +The prince had, of course, at once received him, and had plunged +into a conversation about Hippolyte. He had given the doctor an +account of Hippolyte's attempted suicide; and had proceeded +thereafter to talk of his own malady,--of Switzerland, of +Schneider, and so on; and so deeply was the old man interested by +the prince's conversation and his description of Schneider's +system, that he sat on for two hours. + +Muishkin gave him excellent cigars to smoke, and Lebedeff, for +his part, regaled him with liqueurs, brought in by Vera, to whom +the doctor--a married man and the father of a family--addressed +such compliments that she was filled with indignation. They +parted friends, and, after leaving the prince, the doctor said to +Lebedeff: "If all such people were put under restraint, there +would be no one left for keepers." Lebedeff then, in tragic +tones, told of the approaching marriage, whereupon the other +nodded his head and replied that, after all, marriages like that +were not so rare; that he had heard that the lady was very +fascinating and of extraordinary beauty, which was enough to +explain the infatuation of a wealthy man; that, further, thanks +to the liberality of Totski and of Rogojin, she possessed--so he +had heard--not only money, but pearls, diamonds, shawls, and +furniture, and consequently she could not be considered a bad +match. In brief, it seemed to the doctor that the prince's +choice, far from being a sign of foolishness, denoted, on the +contrary, a shrewd, calculating, and practical mind. Lebedeff had +been much struck by this point of view, and he terminated his +confession by assuring the prince that he was ready, if need be, +to shed his very life's blood for him. + +Hippolyte, too, was a source of some distraction to the prince at +this time; he would send for him at any and every hour of the +day. They lived,--Hippolyte and his mother and the children,--in +a small house not far off, and the little ones were happy, if +only because they were able to escape from the invalid into the +garden. The prince had enough to do in keeping the peace between +the irritable Hippolyte and his mother, and eventually the former +became so malicious and sarcastic on the subject of the +approaching wedding, that Muishkin took offence at last, and +refused to continue his visits. + +A couple of days later, however, Hippolyte's mother came with +tears in her eyes, and begged the prince to come back, "or HE +would eat her up bodily." She added that Hippolyte had a great +secret to disclose. Of course the prince went. There was no +secret, however, unless we reckon certain pantings and agitated +glances around (probably all put on) as the invalid begged his +visitor to "beware of Rogojin." + +"He is the sort of man," he continued,. "who won't give up his +object, you know; he is not like you and me, prince--he belongs +to quite a different order of beings. If he sets his heart on a +thing he won't be afraid of anything--" and so on. + +Hippolyte was very ill, and looked as though he could not long +survive. He was tearful at first, but grew more and more +sarcastic and malicious as the interview proceeded. + +The prince questioned him in detail as to his hints about +Rogojin. He was anxious to seize upon some facts which might +confirm Hippolyte's vague warnings; but there were none; only +Hippolyte's own private impressions and feelings. + +However, the invalid--to his immense satisfaction--ended by +seriously alarming the prince. + +At first Muishkin had not cared to make any reply to his sundry +questions, and only smiled in response to Hippolyte's advice to +"run for his life--abroad, if necessary. There are Russian +priests everywhere, and one can get married all over the world." + +But it was Hippolyte's last idea which upset him. + +"What I am really alarmed about, though," he said, "is Aglaya +Ivanovna. Rogojin knows how you love her. Love for love. You took +Nastasia Philipovna from him. He will murder Aglaya Ivanovna; for +though she is not yours, of course, now, still such an act would +pain you,--wouldn't it?" + +He had attained his end. The prince left the house beside himself +with terror. + +These warnings about Rogojin were expressed on the day before the +wedding. That evening the prince saw Nastasia Philipovna for the +last time before they were to meet at the altar; but Nastasia was +not in a position to give him any comfort or consolation. On the +contrary, she only added to his mental perturbation as the +evening went on. Up to this time she had invariably done her best +to cheer him--she was afraid of his looking melancholy; she would +try singing to him, and telling him every sort of funny story or +reminiscence that she could recall. The prince nearly always +pretended to be amused, whether he were so actually or no; but +often enough he laughed sincerely, delighted by the brilliancy of +her wit when she was carried away by her narrative, as she very +often was. Nastasia would be wild with joy to see the impression +she had made, and to hear his laugh of real amusement; and she +would remain the whole evening in a state of pride and happiness. +But this evening her melancholy and thoughtfulness grew with +every hour. + +The prince had told Evgenie Pavlovitch with perfect sincerity +that he loved Nastasia Philipovna with all his soul. In his love +for her there was the sort of tenderness one feels for a sick, +unhappy child which cannot be left alone. He never spoke of his +feelings for Nastasia to anyone, not even to herself. When they +were together they never discussed their "feelings," and there +was nothing in their cheerful, animated conversation which an +outsider could not have heard. Daria Alexeyevna, with whom +Nastasia was staying, told afterwards how she had been filled +with joy and delight only to look at them, all this time. + +Thanks to the manner in which he regarded Nastasia's mental and +moral condition, the prince was to some extent freed from other +perplexities. She was now quite different from the woman he had +known three months before. He was not astonished, for instance, +to see her now so impatient to marry him--she who formerly had +wept with rage and hurled curses and reproaches at him if he +mentioned marriage! "It shows that she no longer fears, as she +did then, that she would make me unhappy by marrying me," he +thought. And he felt sure that so sudden a change could not be a +natural one. This rapid growth of self-confidence could not be +due only to her hatred for Aglaya. To suppose that would be to +suspect the depth of her feelings. Nor could it arise from dread +of the fate that awaited her if she married Rogojin. These +causes, indeed, as well as others, might have played a part in +it, but the true reason, Muishkin decided, was the one he had +long suspected--that the poor sick soul had come to the end of +its forces. Yet this was an explanation that did not procure him +any peace of mind. At times he seemed to be making violent +efforts to think of nothing, and one would have said that he +looked on his marriage as an unimportant formality, and on his +future happiness as a thing not worth considering. As to +conversations such as the one held with Evgenie Pavlovitch, he +avoided them as far as possible, feeling that there were certain +objections to which he could make no answer. + +The prince had observed that Nastasia knew well enough what +Aglaya was to him. He never spoke of it, but he had seen her face +when she had caught him starting off for the Epanchins' house on +several occasions. When the Epanchins left Pavlofsk, she had +beamed with radiance and happiness. Unsuspicious and unobservant +as he was, he had feared at that time that Nastasia might have +some scheme in her mind for a scene or scandal which would drive +Aglaya out of Pavlofsk. She had encouraged the rumours and +excitement among the inhabitants of the place as to her marriage +with the prince, in order to annoy her rival; and, finding it +difficult to meet the Epanchins anywhere, she had, on one +occasion, taken him for a drive past their house. He did not +observe what was happening until they were almost passing the +windows, when it was too late to do anything. He said nothing, +but for two days afterwards he was ill. + +Nastasia did not try that particular experiment again. A few days +before that fixed for the wedding, she grew grave and thoughtful. +She always ended by getting the better of her melancholy, and +becoming merry and cheerful again, but not quite so unaffectedly +happy as she had been some days earlier. + +The prince redoubled his attentive study of her symptoms. It was +a most curious circumstance, in his opinion, that she never spoke +of Rogojin. But once, about five days before the wedding, when +the prince was at home, a messenger arrived begging him to come +at once, as Nastasia Philipovna was very ill. + +He had found her in a condition approaching to absolute madness. +She screamed, and trembled, and cried out that Rogojin was hiding +out there in the garden--that she had seen him herself--and that +he would murder her in the night--that he would cut her throat. +She was terribly agitated all day. But it so happened that the +prince called at Hippolyte's house later on, and heard from his +mother that she had been in town all day, and had there received +a visit from Rogojin, who had made inquiries about Pavlofsk. On +inquiry, it turned out that Rogojin visited the old lady in town +at almost the same moment when Nastasia declared that she had +seen him in the garden; so that the whole thing turned out to be +an illusion on her part. Nastasia immediately went across to +Hippolyte's to inquire more accurately, and returned immensely +relieved and comforted. + +On the day before the wedding, the prince left Nastasia in a +state of great animation. Her wedding-dress and all sorts of +finery had just arrived from town. Muishkin had not imagined that +she would be so excited over it, but he praised everything, and +his praise rendered her doubly happy. + +But Nastasia could not hide the cause of her intense interest in +her wedding splendour. She had heard of the indignation in the +town, and knew that some of the populace was getting up a sort of +charivari with music, that verses had been composed for the +occasion, and that the rest of Pavlofsk society more or less +encouraged these preparations. So, since attempts were being made +to humiliate her, she wanted to hold her head even higher than +usual, and to overwhelm them all with the beauty and taste of her +toilette. "Let them shout and whistle, if they dare!" Her eyes +flashed at the thought. But, underneath this, she had another +motive, of which she did not speak. She thought that possibly +Aglaya, or at any rate someone sent by her, would be present +incognito at the ceremony, or in the crowd, and she wished to be +prepared for this eventuality. + +The prince left her at eleven, full of these thoughts, and went +home. But it was not twelve o'clock when a messenger came to say +that Nastasia was very bad, and he must come at once. + +On hurrying back he found his bride locked up in her own room and +could hear her hysterical cries and sobs. It was some time before +she could be made to hear that the prince had come, and then she +opened the door only just sufficiently to let him in, and +immediately locked it behind him. She then fell on her knees at +his feet. (So at least Dana Alexeyevna reported.) + +"What am I doing? What am I doing to you?" she sobbed +convulsively, embracing his knees. + +The prince was a whole hour soothing and comforting her, and left +her, at length, pacified and composed. He sent another messenger +during the night to inquire after her, and two more next morning. +The last brought back a message that Nastasia was surrounded by a +whole army of dressmakers and maids, and was as happy and as busy +as such a beauty should be on her wedding morning, and that there +was not a vestige of yesterday's agitation remaining. The message +concluded with the news that at the moment of the bearer's +departure there was a great confabulation in progress as to which +diamonds were to be worn, and how. + +This message entirely calmed the prince's mind. + +The following report of the proceedings on the wedding day may be +depended upon, as coming from eye-witnesses. + +The wedding was fixed for eight o'clock in the evening. Nastasia +Philipovna was ready at seven. From six o'clock groups of people +began to gather at Nastasia's house, at the prince's, and at the +church door, but more especially at the former place. The church +began to fill at seven. + +Colia and Vera Lebedeff were very anxious on the prince's +account, but they were so busy over the arrangements for +receiving the guests after the wedding, that they had not much +time for the indulgence of personal feelings. + +There were to be very few guests besides the best men and so on; +only Dana Alexeyevna, the Ptitsins, Gania, and the doctor. When +the prince asked Lebedeff why he had invited the doctor, who was +almost a stranger, Lebedeff replied: + +"Why, he wears an 'order,' and it looks so well!" + +This idea amused the prince. + +Keller and Burdovsky looked wonderfully correct in their dress- +coats and white kid gloves, although Keller caused the bridegroom +some alarm by his undisguisedly hostile glances at the gathering +crowd of sight-seers outside. + +At about half-past seven the prince started for the church in his +carriage. + +We may remark here that he seemed anxious not to omit a single +one of the recognized customs and traditions observed at +weddings. He wished all to be done as openly as possible, and "in +due order." + +Arrived at the church, Muishkin, under Keller's guidance, passed +through the crowd of spectators, amid continuous whispering and +excited exclamations. The prince stayed near the altar, while +Keller made off once more to fetch the bride. + +On reaching the gate of Daria Alexeyevna's house, Keller found a +far denser crowd than he had encountered at the prince's. The +remarks and exclamations of the spectators here were of so +irritating a nature that Keller was very near making them a +speech on the impropriety of their conduct, but was luckily +caught by Burdovsky, in the act of turning to address them, and +hurried indoors. + +Nastasia Philipovna was ready. She rose from her seat, looked +into the glass and remarked, as Keller told the tale afterwards, +that she was "as pale as a corpse." She then bent her head +reverently, before the ikon in the corner, and left the room. + +A torrent of voices greeted her appearance at the front door. The +crowd whistled, clapped its hands, and laughed and shouted; but +in a moment or two isolated voices were distinguishable. + +"What a beauty!" cried one. + +"Well, she isn't the first in the world, nor the last," said +another. + +"Marriage covers everything," observed a third. + +"I defy you to find another beauty like that," said a fourth. + +"She's a real princess! I'd sell my soul for such a princess as +that!" + +Nastasia came out of the house looking as white as any +handkerchief; but her large dark eyes shone upon the vulgar crowd +like blazing coals. The spectators' cries were redoubled, and +became more exultant and triumphant every moment. The door of the +carriage was open, and Keller had given his hand to the bride to +help her in, when suddenly with a loud cry she rushed from him, +straight into the surging crowd. Her friends about her were +stupefied with amazement; the crowd parted as she rushed through +it, and suddenly, at a distance of five or six yards from the +carriage, appeared Rogojin. It was his look that had caught her +eyes. + +Nastasia rushed to him like a madwoman, and seized both his +hands. + +"Save me!" she cried. "Take me away, anywhere you like, quick!" + +Rogojin seized her in his arms and almost carried her to the +carriage. Then, in a flash, he tore a hundred-rouble note out of +his pocket and held it to the coachman. + +"To the station, quick! If you catch the train you shall have +another. Quick!" + +He leaped into the carriage after Nastasia and banged the door. +The coachman did not hesitate a moment; he whipped up the horses, +and they were oft. + +"One more second and I should have stopped him," said Keller, +afterwards. In fact, he and Burdovsky jumped into another +carriage and set off in pursuit; but it struck them as they drove +along that it was not much use trying to bring Nastasia back by +force. + +"Besides," said Burdovsky," the prince would not like it, would +he?" So they gave up the pursuit. + +Rogojin and Nastasia Philipovna reached the station just in time +for the train. As he jumped out of the carriage and was almost on +the point of entering the train, Rogojin accosted a young girl +standing on the platform and wearing an old-fashioned, but +respectable-looking, black cloak and a silk handkerchief over her +head. + +"Take fifty roubles for your cloak?" he shouted, holding the +money out to the girl. Before the astonished young woman could +collect her scattered senses, he pushed the money into her hand, +seized the mantle, and threw it and the handkerchief over +Nastasia's head and shoulders. The latter's wedding-array would +have attracted too much attention, and it was not until some time +later that the girl understood why her old cloak and kerchief had +been bought at such a price. + +The news of what had happened reached the church with +extraordinary rapidity. When Keller arrived, a host of people +whom he did not know thronged around to ask him questions. There +was much excited talking, and shaking of heads, even some +laughter; but no one left the church, all being anxious to +observe how the now celebrated bridegroom would take the news. He +grew very pale upon hearing it, but took it quite quietly. + +"I was afraid," he muttered, scarcely audibly, "but I hardly +thought it would come to this." Then after a short silence, he +added: "However, in her state, it is quite consistent with the +natural order of things." + +Even Keller admitted afterwards that this was "extraordinarily +philosophical" on the prince's part. He left the church quite +calm, to all appearances, as many witnesses were found to declare +afterwards. He seemed anxious to reach home and be left alone as +quickly as possible; but this was not to be. He was accompanied +by nearly all the invited guests, and besides this, the house was +almost besieged by excited bands of people, who insisted upon +being allowed to enter the verandah. The prince heard Keller and +Lebedeff remonstrating and quarrelling with these unknown +individuals, and soon went out himself. He approached the +disturbers of his peace, requested courteously to be told what +was desired; then politely putting Lebedeff and Keller aside, he +addressed an old gentleman who was standing on the verandah steps +at the head of the band of would-be guests, and courteously +requested him to honour him with a visit. The old fellow was +quite taken aback by this, but entered, followed by a few more, +who tried to appear at their ease. The rest remained outside, and +presently the whole crowd was censuring those who had accepted +the invitation. The prince offered seats to his strange visitors, +tea was served, and a general conversation sprang up. Everything +was done most decorously, to the considerable surprise of the +intruders. A few tentative attempts were made to turn the +conversation to the events of the day, and a few indiscreet +questions were asked; but Muishkin replied to everybody with such +simplicity and good-humour, and at the same time with so much +dignity, and showed such confidence in the good breeding of his +guests, that the indiscreet talkers were quickly silenced. By +degrees the conversation became almost serious. One gentleman +suddenly exclaimed, with great vehemence: "Whatever happens, I +shall not sell my property; I shall wait. Enterprise is better +than money, and there, sir, you have my whole system of economy, +if you wish!" He addressed the prince, who warmly commended his +sentiments, though Lebedeff whispered in his ear that this +gentleman, who talked so much of his "property," had never had +either house or home. + +Nearly an hour passed thus, and when tea was over the visitors +seemed to think that it was time to go. As they went out, the +doctor and the old gentleman bade Muishkin a warm farewell, and +all the rest took their leave with hearty protestations of good- +will, dropping remarks to the effect that "it was no use +worrying," and that "perhaps all would turn out for the best," +and so on. Some of the younger intruders would have asked for +champagne, but they were checked by the older ones. When all had +departed, Keller leaned over to Lebedeff, and said: + +"With you and me there would have been a scene. We should have +shouted and fought, and called in the police. But he has simply +made some new friends--and such friends, too! I know them!" + +Lebedeff, who was slightly intoxicated, answered with a sigh: + +"Things are hidden from the wise and prudent, and revealed unto +babes. I have applied those words to him before, but now I add +that God has preserved the babe himself from the abyss, He and +all His saints." + +At last, about half-past ten, the prince was left alone. His head +ached. Colia was the last to go, after having helped him to +change his wedding clothes. They parted on affectionate terms, +and, without speaking of what had happened, Colia promised to +come very early the next day. He said later that the prince had +given no hint of his intentions when they said good-bye, but had +hidden them even from him. Soon there was hardly anyone left in +the house. Burdovsky had gone to see Hippolyte; Keller and +Lebedeff had wandered off together somewhere. + +Only Vera Lebedeff remained hurriedly rearranging the furniture +in the rooms. As she left the verandah, she glanced at the +prince. He was seated at the table, with both elbows upon it, and +his head resting on his hands. She approached him, and touched +his shoulder gently. The prince started and looked at her in +perplexity; he seemed to be collecting his senses for a minute or +so, before he could remember where he was. As recollection dawned +upon him, he became violently agitated. All he did, however, was +to ask Vera very earnestly to knock at his door and awake him in +time for the first train to Petersburg next morning. Vera +promised, and the prince entreated her not to tell anyone of his +intention. She promised this, too; and at last, when she had +half-closed the door, be called her back a third time, took her +hands in his, kissed them, then kissed her forehead, and in a +rather peculiar manner said to her, "Until tomorrow!" + +Such was Vera's story afterwards. + +She went away in great anxiety about him, but when she saw him in +the morning, he seemed to be quite himself again, greeted her +with a smile, and told her that he would very likely be back by +the evening. It appears that he did not consider it necessary to +inform anyone excepting Vera of his departure for town. + +XI. + +AN hour later he was in St. Petersburg, and by ten o'clock he had +rung the bell at Rogojin's. + +He had gone to the front door, and was kept waiting a long while +before anyone came. At last the door of old Mrs. Rogojin's flat +was opened, and an aged servant appeared. + +"Parfen Semionovitch is not at home," she announced from the +doorway. "Whom do you want?" + +"Parfen Semionovitch." + +"He is not in." + +The old woman examined the prince from head to foot with great +curiosity. + +"At all events tell me whether he slept at home last night, and +whether he came alone?" + +The old woman continued to stare at him, but said nothing. + +"Was not Nastasia Philipovna here with him, yesterday evening?" + +"And, pray, who are you yourself?" + +"Prince Lef Nicolaievitch Muishkin; he knows me well." + +"He is not at home." + +The woman lowered her eyes. + +"And Nastasia Philipovna?" + +"I know nothing about it." + +"Stop a minute! When will he come back?" + +"I don't know that either." + +The door was shut with these words, and the old woman +disappeared. The prince decided to come back within an +hour. Passing out of the house, he met the porter. + +"Is Parfen Semionovitch at home?" he asked. + +"Yes." + +"Why did they tell me he was not at home, then?" "Where did they +tell you so,--at his door?" "No, at his mother's flat; I rang at +Parfen Semionovitch's door and nobody came." + +"Well, he may have gone out. I can't tell. Sometimes he takes the +keys with him, and leaves the rooms empty for two or three days." + +"Do you know for certain that he was at home last night?" + +"Yes, he was." + +"Was Nastasia Philipovna with him?" + +"I don't know; she doesn't come often. I think I should have +known if she had come." + +The prince went out deep in thought, and walked up and down the +pavement for some time. The windows of all the rooms occupied by +Rogojin were closed, those of his mother's apartments were open. +It was a hot, bright day. The prince crossed the road in order to +have a good look at the windows again; not only were Rogojin's +closed, but the white blinds were all down as well. + +He stood there for a minute and then, suddenly and strangely +enough, it seemed to him that a little corner of one of the +blinds was lifted, and Rogojin's face appeared for an instant and +then vanished. He waited another minute, and decided to go and +ring the bell once more; however, he thought better of it again +and put it off for an hour. + +The chief object in his mind at this moment was to get as quickly +as he could to Nastasia Philipovna's lodging. He remembered that, +not long since, when she had left Pavlofsk at his request, he had +begged her to put up in town at the house of a respectable widow, +who had well-furnished rooms to let, near the Ismailofsky +barracks. Probably Nastasia had kept the rooms when she came down +to Pavlofsk this last time; and most likely she would have spent +the night in them, Rogojin having taken her straight there from +the station. + +The prince took a droshky. It struck him as he drove on that he +ought to have begun by coming here, since it was most improbable +that Rogojin should have taken Nastasia to his own house last +night. He remembered that the porter said she very rarely came at +all, so that it was still less likely that she would have gone +there so late at night. + +Vainly trying to comfort himself with these reflections, the +prince reached the Ismailofsky barracks more dead than alive. + +To his consternation the good people at the lodgings had not only +heard nothing of Nastasia, but all came out to look at him as if +he were a marvel of some sort. The whole family, of all ages, +surrounded him, and he was begged to enter. He guessed at once +that they knew perfectly well who he was, and that yesterday +ought to have been his wedding-day; and further that they were +dying to ask about the wedding, and especially about why he +should be here now, inquiring for the woman who in all reasonable +human probability might have been expected to be with him in +Pavlofsk. + +He satisfied their curiosity, in as few words as possible, with +regard to the wedding, but their exclamations and sighs were so +numerous and sincere that he was obliged to tell the whole story-- +in a short form, of course. The advice of all these agitated +ladies was that the prince should go at once and knock at +Rogojin's until he was let in: and when let in insist upon a +substantial explanation of everything. If Rogojin was really not +at home, the prince was advised to go to a certain house, the +address of which was given, where lived a German lady, a friend +of Nastasia Philipovna's. It was possible that she might have +spent the night there in her anxiety to conceal herself. + +The prince rose from his seat in a condition of mental collapse. +The good ladies reported afterwards that "his pallor was terrible +to see, and his legs seemed to give way underneath him." With +difficulty he was made to understand that his new friends would +be glad of his address, in order to act with him if possible. +After a moment's thought he gave the address of the small hotel, +on the stairs of which he had had a fit some five weeks since. He +then set off once more for Rogojin's. + +This time they neither opened the door at Rogojin's flat nor at +the one opposite. The prince found the porter with difficulty, +but when found, the man would hardly look at him or answer his +questions, pretending to be busy. Eventually, however, he was +persuaded to reply so far as to state that Rogojin had left the +house early in the morning and gone to Pavlofsk, and that he +would not return today at all. + +"I shall wait; he may come back this evening." + +"He may not be home for a week." + +"Then, at all events, he DID sleep here, did he?" + +"Well--he did sleep here, yes." + +All this was suspicious and unsatisfactory. Very likely the +porter had received new instructions during the interval of the +prince's absence; his manner was so different now. He had been +obliging--now he was as obstinate and silent as a mule. However, +the prince decided to call again in a couple of hours, and after +that to watch the house, in case of need. His hope was that he +might yet find Nastasia at the address which he had just +received. To that address he now set off at full speed. + +But alas! at the German lady's house they did not even appear to +understand what he wanted. After a while, by means of certain +hints, he was able to gather that Nastasia must have had a +quarrel with her friend two or three weeks ago, since which date +the latter had neither heard nor seen anything of her. He was +given to understand that the subject of Nastasia's present +whereabouts was not of the slightest interest to her; and that +Nastasia might marry all the princes in the world for all she +cared! So Muishkin took his leave hurriedly. It struck him now +that she might have gone away to Moscow just as she had done the +last time, and that Rogojin had perhaps gone after her, or even +WITH her. If only he could find some trace! + +However, he must take his room at the hotel; and he started off +in that direction. Having engaged his room, he was asked by the +waiter whether he would take dinner; replying mechanically in the +affirmative, he sat down and waited; but it was not long before +it struck him that dining would delay him. Enraged at this idea, +he started up, crossed the dark passage (which filled him with +horrible impressions and gloomy forebodings), and set out once +more for Rogojin's. Rogojin had not returned, and no one came to +the door. He rang at the old lady's door opposite, and was +informed that Parfen Semionovitch would not return for three +days. The curiosity with which the old servant stared at him +again impressed the prince disagreeably. He could not find the +porter this time at all. + +As before, he crossed the street and watched the windows from the +other side, walking up and down in anguish of soul for half an +hour or so in the stifling heat. Nothing stirred; the blinds were +motionless; indeed, the prince began to think that the apparition +of Rogojin's face could have been nothing but fancy. Soothed by +this thought, he drove off once more to his friends at the +Ismailofsky barracks. He was expected there. The mother had +already been to three or four places to look for Nastasia, but +had not found a trace of any kind. + +The prince said nothing, but entered the room, sat down silently, +and stared at them, one after the other, with the air of a man +who cannot understand what is being said to him. It was strange-- +one moment he seemed to be so observant, the next so absent; his +behaviour struck all the family as most remarkable. At length he +rose from his seat, and begged to be shown Nastasia's rooms. The +ladies reported afterwards how he had examined everything in the +apartments. He observed an open book on the table, Madam Bovary, +and requested the leave of the lady of the house to take it with +him. He had turned down the leaf at the open page, and pocketed +it before they could explain that it was a library book. He had +then seated himself by the open window, and seeing a card-table, +he asked who played cards. + +He was informed that Nastasia used to play with Rogojin every +evening, either at "preference" or "little fool," or "whist"; +that this had been their practice since her last return from +Pavlofsk; that she had taken to this amusement because she did +not like to see Rogojin sitting silent and dull for whole +evenings at a time; that the day after Nastasia had made a remark +to this effect, Rogojin had whipped a pack of cards out of his +pocket. Nastasia had laughed, but soon they began playing. The +prince asked where were the cards, but was told that Rogojin used +to bring a new pack every day, and always carried it away in his +pocket. + +The good ladies recommended the prince to try knocking at +Rogojin's once more--not at once, but in the evening Meanwhile, +the mother would go to Pavlofsk to inquire at Dana Alexeyevna's +whether anything had been heard of Nastasia there. The prince was +to come back at ten o'clock and meet her, to hear her news and +arrange plans for the morrow. + +In spite of the kindly-meant consolations of his new friends, the +prince walked to his hotel in inexpressible anguish of spirit, +through the hot, dusty streets, aimlessly staring at the faces of +those who passed him. Arrived at his destination, he determined +to rest awhile in his room before be started for Rogojin's once +more. He sat down, rested his elbows on the table and his head on +his hands, and fell to thinking. + +Heaven knows how long and upon what subjects he thought. He +thought of many things--of Vera Lebedeff, and of her father; of +Hippolyte; of Rogojin himself, first at the funeral, then as he +had met him in the park, then, suddenly, as they had met in this +very passage, outside, when Rogojin had watched in the darkness +and awaited him with uplifted knife. The prince remembered his +enemy's eyes as they had glared at him in the darkness. He +shuddered, as a sudden idea struck him. + +This idea was, that if Rogojin were in Petersburg, though he +might hide for a time, yet he was quite sure to come to him--the +prince--before long, with either good or evil intentions, but +probably with the same intention as on that other occasion. At +all events, if Rogojin were to come at all he would be sure to +seek the prince here--he had no other town address--perhaps in this +same corridor; he might well seek him here if he needed him. And +perhaps he did need him. This idea seemed quite natural to the +prince, though he could not have explained why he should so +suddenly have become necessary to Rogojin. Rogojin would not come +if all were well with him, that was part of the thought; he would +come if all were not well; and certainly, undoubtedly, all would +not be well with him. The prince could not bear this new idea; he +took his hat and rushed out towards the street. It was almost +dark in the passage. + +"What if he were to come out of that corner as I go by and--and +stop me?" thought the prince, as he approached the familiar spot. +But no one came out. + +He passed under the gateway and into the street. The crowds of +people walking about--as is always the case at sunset in +Petersburg, during the summer--surprised him, but he walked on in +the direction of Rogojin's house. + +About fifty yards from the hotel, at the first cross-road, as he +passed through the crowd of foot-passengers sauntering along, +someone touched his shoulder, and said in a whisper into his ear: + +"Lef Nicolaievitch, my friend, come along with me." It was +Rogojin. + +The prince immediately began to tell him, eagerly and joyfully, +how he had but the moment before expected to see him in the dark +passage of the hotel. + +"I was there," said Rogojin, unexpectedly. "Come along." The +prince was surprised at this answer; but his astonishment +increased a couple of minutes afterwards, when he began to +consider it. Having thought it over, he glanced at Rogojin in +alarm. The latter was striding along a yard or so ahead, looking +straight in front of him, and mechanically making way for anyone +he met. + +"Why did you not ask for me at my room if you were in the hotel?" +asked the prince, suddenly. + +Rogojin stopped and looked at him; then reflected, and replied as +though he had not heard the question: + +"Look here, Lef Nicolaievitch, you go straight on to the house; I +shall walk on the other side. See that we keep together." + +So saying, Rogojin crossed the road. + +Arrived on the opposite pavement, he looked back to see whether +the prince were moving, waved his hand in the direction of the +Gorohovaya, and strode on, looking across every moment to see +whether Muishkin understood his instructions. The prince supposed +that Rogojin desired to look out for someone whom he was afraid +to miss; but if so, why had he not told HIM whom to look out for? +So the two proceeded for half a mile or so. Suddenly the prince +began to tremble from some unknown cause. He could not bear it, +and signalled to Rogojin across the road. + +The latter came at once. + +"Is Nastasia Philipovna at your house?" + +"Yes." + +"And was it you looked out of the window under the blind this +morning?" + +"Yes." + +"Then why did--" + +But the prince could not finish his question; he did not know +what to say. Besides this, his heart was beating so that he found +it difficult to speak at all. Rogojin was silent also and looked +at him as before, with an expression of deep thoughtfulness. + +"Well, I'm going," he said, at last, preparing to recross the +road. "You go along here as before; we will keep to different +sides of the road; it's better so, you'll see." + +When they reached the Gorohovaya, and came near the house, the +prince's legs were trembling so that he could hardly walk. It was +about ten o'clock. The old lady's windows were open, as before; +Rogojin's were all shut, and in the darkness the white blinds +showed whiter than ever. Rogojin and the prince each approached +the house on his respective side of the road; Rogojin, who was on +the near side, beckoned the prince across. He went over to the +doorway. + +"Even the porter does not know that I have come home now. I told +him, and told them at my mother's too, that I was off to +Pavlofsk," said Rogojin, with a cunning and almost satisfied +smile. "We'll go in quietly and nobody will hear us." + +He had the key in his hand. Mounting the staircase he turned and +signalled to the prince to go more softly; he opened the door +very quietly, let the prince in, followed him, locked the door +behind him, and put the key in his pocket. + +"Come along," he whispered. + +He had spoken in a whisper all the way. In spite of his apparent +outward composure, he was evidently in a state of great mental +agitation. Arrived in a large salon, next to the study, he went +to the window and cautiously beckoned the prince up to him. + +"When you rang the bell this morning I thought it must be you. I +went to the door on tip-toe and heard you talking to the servant +opposite. I had told her before that if anyone came and rang-- +especially you, and I gave her your name--she was not to tell +about me. Then I thought, what if he goes and stands opposite and +looks up, or waits about to watch the house? So I came to this +very window, looked out, and there you were staring straight at +me. That's how it came about." + +"Where is Nastasia Philipovna?" asked the prince, breathlessly. + +"She's here," replied Rogojin, slowly, after a slight pause. + +"Where?" + +Rogojin raised his eyes and gazed intently at the prince. + +"Come," he said. + +He continued to speak in a whisper, very deliberately as before, +and looked strangely thoughtful and dreamy. Even while he told +the story of how he had peeped through the blind, he gave the +impression of wishing to say something else. They entered the +study. In this room some changes had taken place since the prince +last saw it. It was now divided into two equal parts by a heavy +green silk curtain stretched across it, separating the alcove +beyond, where stood Rogojin's bed, from the rest of the room. + +The heavy curtain was drawn now, and it was very dark. The bright +Petersburg summer nights were already beginning to close in, and +but for the full moon, it would have been difficult to +distinguish anything in Rogojin's dismal room, with the drawn +blinds. They could just see one anothers faces, however, though +not in detail. Rogojin's face was white, as usual. His glittering +eyes watched the prince with an intent stare. + +"Had you not better light a candle?" said Muishkin. + +"No, I needn't," replied Rogojin, and taking the other by the +hand he drew him down to a chair. He himself took a chair +opposite and drew it up so close that he almost pressed against +the prince's knees. At their side was a little round table. + +Sit down," said Rogojin; "let's rest a bit." There was silence +for a moment. + +"I knew you would be at that hotel," he continued, just as men +sometimes commence a serious conversation by discussing any +outside subject before leading up to the main point. "As I +entered the passage it struck me that perhaps you were sitting +and waiting for me, just as I was waiting for you. Have you been +to the old lady at Ismailofsky barracks?" + +"Yes," said the prince, squeezing the word out with difficulty +owing to the dreadful beating of his heart. + +"I thought you would. 'They'll talk about it,' I thought; so I +determined to go and fetch you to spend the night here--'We will +be together,' I thought, 'for this one night--'" + +"Rogojin, WHERE is Nastasia Philipovna?" said the prince, +suddenly rising from his seat. He was quaking in all his limbs, +and his words came in a scarcely audible whisper. Rogojin rose +also. + +"There," he whispered, nodding his head towards the curtain. + +"Asleep?" whispered the prince. + +Rogojin looked intently at him again, as before. + +"Let's go in--but you mustn't--well--let's go in." + +He lifted the curtain, paused--and turned to the prince. "Go in," +he said, motioning him to pass behind the curtain. Muishkin went +in. + +It's so dark," he said. + +"You can see quite enough," muttered Rogojin. + +"I can just see there's a bed--" + +"Go nearer," suggested Rogojin, softly. + +The prince took a step forward--then another--and paused. He +stood and stared for a minute or two. + +Neither of the men spoke a word while at the bedside. The +prince's heart beat so loud that its knocking seemed to be +distinctly audible in the deathly silence. + +But now his eyes had become so far accustomed to the darkness +that he could distinguish the whole of the bed. Someone was +asleep upon it--in an absolutely motionless sleep. Not the +slightest movement was perceptible, not the faintest breathing +could be heard. The sleeper was covered with a white sheet; the +outline of the limbs was hardly distinguishable. He could only +just make out that a human being lay outstretched there. + +All around, on the bed, on a chair beside it, on the floor, were +scattered the different portions of a magnificent white silk +dress, bits of lace, ribbons and flowers. On a small table at the +bedside glittered a mass of diamonds, torn off and thrown down +anyhow. From under a heap of lace at the end of the bed peeped a +small white foot, which looked as though it had been chiselled +out of marble; it was terribly still. + +The prince gazed and gazed, and felt that the more he gazed the +more death-like became the silence. Suddenly a fly awoke +somewhere, buzzed across the room, and settled on the pillow. The +prince shuddered. + +"Let's go," said Rogojin, touching his shoulder. They left the +alcove and sat down in the two chairs they had occupied before, +opposite to one another. The prince trembled more and more +violently, and never took his questioning eyes off Rogojin's +face. + +"I see you are shuddering, Lef Nicolaievitch," said the latter, +at length, "almost as you did once in Moscow, before your fit; +don't you remember? I don't know what I shall do with you--" + +The prince bent forward to listen, putting all the strain he +could muster upon his understanding in order to take in what +Rogojin said, and continuing to gaze at the latter's face. + +"Was it you?" he muttered, at last, motioning with his head +towards the curtain. + +"Yes, it was I," whispered Rogojin, looking down. + +Neither spoke for five minutes. + +"Because, you know," Rogojin recommenced, as though continuing a +former sentence, "if you were ill now, or had a fit, or screamed, +or anything, they might hear it in the yard, or even in the +street, and guess that someone was passing the night in the +house. They would all come and knock and want to come in, because +they know I am not at home. I didn't light a candle for the same +reason. When I am not here--for two or three days at a time, now +and then--no one comes in to tidy the house or anything; those +are my orders. So that I want them to not know we are spending +the night here--" + +"Wait," interrupted the prince. "I asked both the porter and the +woman whether Nastasia Philipovna had spent last night in the +house; so they knew--" + +"I know you asked. I told them that she had called in for ten +minutes, and then gone straight back to Pavlofsk. No one knows +she slept here. Last night we came in just as carefully as you +and I did today. I thought as I came along with her that she +would not like to creep in so secretly, but I was quite wrong. +She whispered, and walked on tip-toe; she carried her skirt over +her arm, so that it shouldn't rustle, and she held up her finger +at me on the stairs, so that I shouldn't make a noise--it was you +she was afraid of. She was mad with terror in the train, and she +begged me to bring her to this house. I thought of taking her to +her rooms at the Ismailofsky barracks first; but she wouldn't +hear of it. She said, 'No--not there; he'll find me out at once +there. Take me to your own house, where you can hide me, and +tomorrow we'll set off for Moscow.' Thence she would go to Orel, +she said. When she went to bed, she was still talking about going +to Orel." + +"Wait! What do you intend to do now, Parfen?" + +"Well, I'm afraid of you. You shudder and tremble so. We'll pass +the night here together. There are no other beds besides that +one; but I've thought how we'll manage. I'll take the cushions +off all the sofas, and lay them down on the floor, up against the +curtain here--for you and me--so that we shall be together. For if +they come in and look about now, you know, they'll find her, and +carry her away, and they'll be asking me questions, and I shall +say I did it, and then they'll take me away, too, don't you see? +So let her lie close to us--close to you and me. + +"Yes, yes," agreed the prince, warmly. + +"So we will not say anything about it, or let them take her +away?" + +"Not for anything!" cried the other; "no, no, no!" + +"So I had decided, my friend; not to give her up to anyone," +continued Rogojin. "We'll be very quiet. I have only been out of +the house one hour all day, all the rest of the time I have been +with her. I dare say the air is very bad here. It is so hot. Do +you find it bad?" + +"I don't know--perhaps--by morning it will be." + +"I've covered her with oil-cloth--best American oilcloth, and put +the sheet over that, and four jars of disinfectant, on account of +the smell--as they did at Moscow--you remember? And she's lying +so still; you shall see, in the morning, when it's light. What! +can't you get up?" asked Rogojin, seeing the other was trembling +so that he could not rise from his seat. + +"My legs won't move," said the prince; "it's fear, I know. When +my fear is over, I'll get up--" + +"Wait a bit--I'll make the bed, and you can lie down. I'll lie +down, too, and we'll listen and watch, for I don't know yet what +I shall do... I tell you beforehand, so that you may be ready +in case I--" + +Muttering these disconnected words, Rogojin began to make up the +beds. It was clear that he had devised these beds long before; +last night he slept on the sofa. But there was no room for two on +the sofa, and he seemed anxious that he and the prince should be +close to one another; therefore, he now dragged cushions of all +sizes and shapes from the sofas, and made a sort of bed of them +close by the curtain. He then approached the prince, and gently +helped him to rise, and led him towards the bed. But the prince +could now walk by himself, so that his fear must have passed; for +all that, however, he continued to shudder. + +"It's hot weather, you see," continued Rogojin, as he lay down on +the cushions beside Muishkin, "and, naturally, there will be a +smell. I daren't open the window. My mother has some beautiful +flowers in pots; they have a delicious scent; I thought of +fetching them in, but that old servant will find out, she's very +inquisitive. + +"Yes, she is inquisitive," assented the prince. + +"I thought of buying flowers, and putting them all round her; but +I was afraid it would make us sad to see her with flowers round +her." + +"Look here," said the prince; he was bewildered, and his brain +wandered. He seemed to be continually groping for the questions +he wished to ask, and then losing them. "Listen--tell me--how did +you--with a knife?--That same one?" + +"Yes, that same one." + +"Wait a minute, I want to ask you something else, Parfen; all +sorts of things; but tell me first, did you intend to kill her +before my wedding, at the church door, with your knife?" + +"I don't know whether I did or not," said Rogojin, drily, seeming +to be a little astonished at the question, and not quite taking +it in. + +"Did you never take your knife to Pavlofsk with you?" "No. As to +the knife," he added, "this is all I can tell you about it." He +was silent for a moment, and then said, "I took it out of the +locked drawer this morning about three, for it was in the early +morning all this--happened. It has been inside the book ever +since--and--and--this is what is such a marvel to me, the knife +only went in a couple of inches at most, just under her left +breast, and there wasn't more than half a tablespoonful of blood +altogether, not more." + +"Yes--yes--yes--" The prince jumped up in extraordinary +agitation. "I know, I know, I've read of that sort of thing--it's +internal haemorrhage, you know. Sometimes there isn't a drop--if +the blow goes straight to the heart--" + +"Wait--listen!" cried Rogojin, suddenly, starting up. "Somebody's +walking about, do you hear? In the hall." Both sat up to listen. + +"I hear," said the prince in a whisper, his eyes fixed on +Rogojin. + +"Footsteps?" + +"Yes." + +"Shall we shut the door, and lock it, or not?" + +"Yes, lock it." + +They locked the door, and both lay down again. There was a long +silence. + +"Yes, by-the-by," whispered the prince, hurriedly and excitedly +as before, as though he had just seized hold of an idea and was +afraid of losing it again. "I--I wanted those cards! They say you +played cards with her?" + +"Yes, I played with her," said Rogojin, after a short silence. + +"Where are the cards?" + +"Here they are," said Rogojin, after a still longer pause. + +He pulled out a pack of cards, wrapped in a bit of paper, from +his pocket, and handed them to the prince. The latter took them, +with a sort of perplexity. A new, sad, helpless feeling weighed +on his heart; he had suddenly realized that not only at this +moment, but for a long while, he had not been saying what he +wanted to say, had not been acting as he wanted to act; and that +these cards which he held in his hand, and which he had been so +delighted to have at first, were now of no use--no use... He rose, +and wrung his hands. Rogojin lay motionless, and seemed neither +to hear nor see his movements; but his eyes blazed in the +darkness, and were fixed in a wild stare. + +The prince sat down on a chair, and watched him in alarm. Half an +hour went by. + +Suddenly Rogojin burst into a loud abrupt laugh, as though he had +quite forgotten that they must speak in whispers. + +"That officer, eh!--that young officer--don't you remember that +fellow at the band? Eh? Ha, ha, ha! Didn't she whip him smartly, +eh?" + +The prince jumped up from his seat in renewed terror. When +Rogojin quieted down (which he did at once) the prince bent over +him, sat down beside him, and with painfully beating heart and +still more painful breath, watched his face intently. Rogojin +never turned his head, and seemed to have forgotten all about +him. The prince watched and waited. Time went on--it began to +grow light. + +Rogojin began to wander--muttering disconnectedly; then he took +to shouting and laughing. The prince stretched out a trembling +hand and gently stroked his hair and his cheeks--he could do +nothing more. His legs trembled again and he seemed to have lost +the use of them. A new sensation came over him, filling his heart +and soul with infinite anguish. + +Meanwhile the daylight grew full and strong; and at last the +prince lay down, as though overcome by despair, and laid his face +against the white, motionless face of Rogojin. His tears flowed +on to Rogojin's cheek, though he was perhaps not aware of them +himself. + +At all events when, after many hours, the door was opened and +people thronged in, they found the murderer unconscious and in a +raging fever. The prince was sitting by him, motionless, and each +time that the sick man gave a laugh, or a shout, he hastened to +pass his own trembling hand over his companion's hair and cheeks, +as though trying to soothe and quiet him. But alas I he +understood nothing of what was said to him, and recognized none +of those who surrounded him. + +If Schneider himself had arrived then and seen his former pupil +and patient, remembering the prince's condition during the first +year in Switzerland, he would have flung up his hands, +despairingly, and cried, as he did then: + +"An idiot!" + +XII. + +WHEN the widow hurried away to Pavlofsk, she went straight to +Daria Alexeyevna's house, and telling all she knew, threw her +into a state of great alarm. Both ladies decided to communicate +at once with Lebedeff, who, as the friend and landlord of the +prince, was also much agitated. Vera Lebedeff told all she knew, +and by Lebedeff's advice it was decided that all three should go +to Petersburg as quickly as possible, in order to avert "what +might so easily happen." + +This is how it came about that at eleven o'clock next morning +Rogojin's flat was opened by the police in the presence of +Lebedeff, the two ladies, and Rogojin's own brother, who lived in +the wing. + +The evidence of the porter went further than anything else +towards the success of Lebedeff in gaining the assistance of the +police. He declared that he had seen Rogojin return to the house +last night, accompanied by a friend, and that both had gone +upstairs very secretly and cautiously. After this there was no +hesitation about breaking open the door, since it could not be +got open in any other way. + +Rogojin suffered from brain fever for two months. When he +recovered from the attack he was at once brought up on trial for +murder. + +He gave full, satisfactory, and direct evidence on every point; +and the prince's name was, thanks to this, not brought into the +proceedings. Rogojin was very quiet during the progress of the +trial. He did not contradict his clever and eloquent counsel, who +argued that the brain fever, or inflammation of the brain, was +the cause of the crime; clearly proving that this malady had +existed long before the murder was perpetrated, and had been +brought on by the sufferings of the accused. + +But Rogojin added no words of his own in confirmation of this +view, and as before, he recounted with marvellous exactness the +details of his crime. He was convicted, but with extenuating +circumstances, and condemned to hard labour in Siberia for +fifteen years. He heard his sentence grimly, silently, and +thoughtfully. His colossal fortune, with the exception of the +comparatively small portion wasted in the first wanton period of +his inheritance, went to his brother, to the great satisfaction +of the latter. + +The old lady, Rogojin's mother, is still alive, and remembers her +favourite son Parfen sometimes, but not clearly. God spared her +the knowledge of this dreadful calamity which had overtaken her +house. + +Lebedeff, Keller, Gania, Ptitsin, and many other friends of ours +continue to live as before. There is scarcely any change in them, +so that there is no need to tell of their subsequent doings. + +Hippolyte died in great agitation, and rather sooner than he +expected, about a fortnight after Nastasia Phiipovna's death. +Colia was much affected by these events, and drew nearer to his +mother in heart and sympathy. Nina Alexandrovna is anxious, +because he is "thoughtful beyond his years," but he will, we +think, make a useful and active man. + +The prince's further fate was more or less decided by Colia, who +selected, out of all the persons he had met during the last six +or seven months, Evgenie Pavlovitch, as friend and confidant. To +him he made over all that he knew as to the events above +recorded, and as to the present condition of the prince. He was +not far wrong in his choice. Evgenie Pavlovitch took the deepest +interest in the fate of the unfortunate "idiot," and, thanks to +his influence, the prince found himself once more with Dr. +Schneider, in Switzerland. + +Evgenie Pavlovitch, who went abroad at this time, intending to +live a long while on the continent, being, as he often said, +quite superfluous in Russia, visits his sick friend at +Schneider's every few months. + +But Dr. Schneider frowns ever more and more and shakes his head; +he hints that the brain is fatally injured; he does not as yet +declare that his patient is incurable, but he allows himself to +express the gravest fears. + +Evgenie takes this much to heart, and he has a heart, as is +proved by the fact that he receives and even answers letters from +Colia. But besides this, another trait in his character has +become apparent, and as it is a good trait we will make haste to +reveal it. After each visit to Schneider's establishment, Evgenie +Pavlovitch writes another letter, besides that to Colia, giving +the most minute particulars concerning the invalid's condition. +In these letters is to be detected, and in each one more than the +last, a growing feeling of friendship and sympathy. + +The individual who corresponds thus with Evgenie Pavlovitch, and +who engages so much of his attention and respect, is Vera +Lebedeff. We have never been able to discover clearly how such +relations sprang up. Of course the root of them was in the events +which we have already recorded, and which so filled Vera with +grief on the prince's account that she fell seriously ill. But +exactly how the acquaintance and friendship came about, we cannot +say. + +We have spoken of these letters chiefly because in them is often +to be found some news of the Epanchin family, and of Aglaya in +particular. Evgenie Pavlovitch wrote of her from Paris, that +after a short and sudden attachment to a certain Polish count, an +exile, she had suddenly married him, quite against the wishes of +her parents, though they had eventually given their consent +through fear of a terrible scandal. Then, after a six months' +silence, Evgenie Pavlovitch informed his correspondent, in a long +letter, full of detail, that while paying his last visit to Dr. +Schneider's establishment, he had there come across the whole +Epanchin family (excepting the general, who had remained in St. +Petersburg) and Prince S. The meeting was a strange one. They all +received Evgenie Pavlovitch with effusive delight; Adelaida and +Alexandra were deeply grateful to him for his "angelic kindness +to the unhappy prince." + +Lizabetha Prokofievna, when she saw poor Muishkin, in his +enfeebled and humiliated condition, had wept bitterly. Apparently +all was forgiven him. + +Prince S. had made a few just and sensible remarks. It seemed to +Evgenie Pavlovitch that there was not yet perfect harmony between +Adelaida and her fiance, but he thought that in time the +impulsive young girl would let herself be guided by his reason +and experience. Besides, the recent events that had befallen her +family had given Adelaida much to think about, especially the sad +experiences of her younger sister. Within six months, everything +that the family had dreaded from the marriage with the Polish +count had come to pass. He turned out to be neither count nor +exile--at least, in the political sense of the word--but had had +to leave his native land owing to some rather dubious affair of +the past. It was his noble patriotism, of which he made a great +display, that had rendered him so interesting in Aglaya's eyes. +She was so fascinated that, even before marrying him, she joined +a committee that had been organized abroad to work for the +restoration of Poland; and further, she visited the confessional +of a celebrated Jesuit priest, who made an absolute fanatic of +her. The supposed fortune of the count had dwindled to a mere +nothing, although he had given almost irrefutable evidence of its +existence to Lizabetha Prokofievna and Prince S. + +Besides this, before they had been married half a year, the count +and his friend the priest managed to bring about a quarrel +between Aglaya and her family, so that it was now several months +since they had seen her. In a word, there was a great deal to +say; but Mrs. Epanchin, and her daughters, and even Prince S., +were still so much distressed by Aglaya's latest infatuations and +adventures, that they did hot care to talk of them, though they +must have known that Evgenie knew much of the story already. + +Poor Lizabetha Prokofievna was most anxious to get home, and, +according to Evgenie's account, she criticized everything foreign +with much hostility. + +"They can't bake bread anywhere, decently; and they all freeze in +their houses, during winter, like a lot of mice in a cellar. At +all events, I've had a good Russian cry over this poor fellow," +she added, pointing to the prince, who had not recognized her in +the slightest degree. "So enough of this nonsense; it's time we +faced the truth. All this continental life, all this Europe of +yours, and all the trash about 'going abroad' is simply foolery, +and it is mere foolery on our part to come. Remember what I say, +my friend; you'll live to agree with me yourself." + +So spoke the good lady, almost angrily, as she took leave of +Evgenie Pavlovitch. + + + + + +End of The Project Gutenberg Etext of The Idiot, by Dostoevsky + |