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diff --git a/26379-h/26379-h.htm b/26379-h/26379-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..7867f22 --- /dev/null +++ b/26379-h/26379-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1757 @@ +<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/html4/loose.dtd"> +<html lang="en"> +<head> +<meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1"> +<title> +The Project Gutenberg eBook of Vice In Its Proper Shape, by Anonymous +</title> +<style type="text/css"> + + <!-- + body {margin-left: 13%; + margin-right: 13%;} + + p {text-indent: 0em; + text-align: justify; + margin-top: .85em; + margin-bottom: .85em; + line-height: 1.27em;} + + .ctr {text-align: center;} + + .sc {font-variant: small-caps;} + + .firstword {text-transform: uppercase;} + + .dropcap {float: left; + padding-left: 2px; + padding-right: 2px; + font-size: 260%; + line-height: 93%; + overflow: visible;} + + sup {line-height: 1px; + font-size: 90%;} + + .foot {margin-left: 6%; + margin-right: 6%; + margin-top: .5em; + margin-bottom: 0em; + font-size: 97%;} + + .chapter {margin-top: 6em; + margin-bottom: 1em; + text-align: center; + font-size: 125%; + font-weight: bold; + letter-spacing: 5px;} + + .head {margin-top: 1em; + margin-bottom: 2.5em; + text-align: center; + font-size: 125%; + font-weight: bold; + margin-left: 4%; + margin-right: 4%;} + + .figcenter {margin-left: auto; + margin-right: auto; + text-align: center; + margin-bottom: 2em; + margin-top: 2em;} + + h1 {text-align: center; + margin-top: 1em; + margin-bottom: 1em; + line-height: 1.3em; + letter-spacing: 40px;} + + h2, h3, h4, h5, h6 {text-align: center; + margin-top: 1em; + margin-bottom: 1em; + line-height: 1.3em; + letter-spacing: 2px;} + + hr {background-color: black; color: inherit; padding: 0;} + + hr.long {width: 90%; + height: 1px; + margin-top: 2.5em; + margin-bottom: 2em;} + + hr.title {width: 52%; + height: 1px; + margin-top: 0em; + margin-bottom: 0em;} + + hr.med {width: 65%; + height: 1px; + margin-top: 2.5em; + margin-bottom: 2.5em;} + + hr.short {width: 35%; + height: 1px; + margin-top: 2.25em; + margin-bottom: 2.25em;} + + a:link {color: #33C; + background-color: inherit; + text-decoration: none;} + link {color: #33C; + background-color: inherit; + text-decoration: none;} + a:visited {color:#33C; + background-color: inherit; + text-decoration: none;} + a:hover {color:#F00; + background-color: inherit;} + +</style> +</head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Vice in its Proper Shape, by Anonymous + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Vice in its Proper Shape + Or, The Wonderful and Melancholy Transformation of Several + Naughty Masters and Misses Into Those Contemptible Animals + Which They Most Resemble In Disposition. + +Author: Anonymous + +Release Date: August 20, 2008 [EBook #26379] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK VICE IN ITS PROPER SHAPE *** + + + + +Produced by Mark C. Orton and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/frontis.jpg" alt="" width="391" height="550"></div> + +<br> + +<h1> +VICE +</h1> + +<h3> +IN ITS +</h3> + +<h2> +PROPER SHAPE; +</h2> + +<h3> +OR, THE +</h3> + +<h3> +Wonderful and Melancholy +</h3> + +<h2> +TRANSFORMATION +</h2> + +<h3> +OF SEVERAL +</h3> + +<h3> +<span class="sc">Naughty Masters and Misses</span> +</h3> + +<h3> +INTO THOSE +</h3> + +<h3> +Contemptible <span class="sc">Animals</span> which they most<br> +resemble in Disposition. +</h3> +<br> +<h3> +Printed for the Benefit of all <span class="sc">good Boys</span><br> +and <span class="sc">Girls</span>. +</h3> + +<br> +<hr class="title"> +<h3> +<span class="sc">The</span> FIRST <i>WORCESTER</i> <span class="sc">Edition</span>. +</h3> +<hr class="title"> +<br> +<h4> +<span class="sc">Printed</span> at <span class="sc">Worcester</span>, <i>Massachusetts</i>,<br> +<span class="sc">By</span> ISAIAH THOMAS,<br> +Sold at his <span class="sc">Bookstore</span>, and by <span class="sc">Thomas</span><br> +and <span class="sc">Andrews</span> in <span class="sc">Boston</span>. +</h4> + +<h4> +MDCCLXXXIX. +</h4> +<br> +<hr class="med"> +<br> + +<h2> +INTRODUCTION. +</h2> + + +<p> +<span class="dropcap">I</span><span class="firstword">t</span> was the opinion of the wise <i>Pythagoras</i>, and of some other +philosophers, that the souls of men, women, and children, after their +death, are sent into other human bodies, and sometimes into those of +beasts and birds, or even insects; and that they hereby change their +residence either to their advantage or disadvantage, according to their +good or ill behaviour in their preceding state of existence. This +singular opinion still prevails in some part of the Eastindies; and +that to such a degree that they make it criminal to put any animal to +death: "For how do you know, say they, but in killing a sheep, a bird, +or a fish, you murder your father, or your brother, or some other +deceased friend or relation, whose soul may inhabit the body of the +animal you so wantonly destroy?" An officer in the service of the +Eastindia Company, and a particular friend of mine, had like to have +lost his life by not paying a proper deference to this whimsical +notion; for being some time in that part of the country, and happening +to shoot a heron, he was immediately arrested and prosecuted for it by +one of the natives. The man insisted that the heron was inhabited by +the soul of his father; and supported his point so much to the +satisfaction of the court, that had it not been for the friendly +assistance of a Jew, who appeared as the captain's advocate, he would +certainly have been condemned. The Jew, allowed that what the plaintiff +had asserted was strictly true, but pleaded in behalf of his client, +that the soul of his, the said client's grandmother, resided in the +body of a fish, which the said client had often seen and knew perfectly +well; and that at the time when the heron was killed, the said heron +was going to dart upon the said fish to devour it; so that the said +client being strongly moved thereunto by his natural affection, +instantly shot the said heron purely to save the life of his +grandmother. This plea was admitted, and the captain was immediately +discharged by order of the court. It is well for the reader that the +captain escaped as he did: for if he had been hanged for murdering the +heron, it is more than probable that it would have been out of his +power to have returned to England with that curious little treatise +which I have now taken the pains to translate into English for the +amusement of the little masters and misses of Great Britain. +</p> + +<p> +It contains a diverting account of several naughty boys and girls, who, +after their death (which was generally owing to their own folly) were +degraded into such animals as they most resembled when alive. I cannot +pretend to say who was the author; for his modesty was so great, that +he has not inserted his name in the title page. +</p> + +<p> +The captain tells me, it is the opinion of some of the Indian criticks, +that he was an academy-keeper, who wrote for the instruction of his +scholars; and of others, that he was a fond father who wrote for the +entertainment of his children; but as it is very possible that both of +them may be mistaken, I shall not presume to decide which of them have +been so fortunate as to discover the truth in a matter of such evident +importance. +</p> + +<p> +I have only to observe, that as long proper names (such as those of the +Indians) would have been too crabbed for most of my little readers, I +have put myself to the amazing trouble of substituting English names in +their room, which are expressive of the characters of the persons to +whom they are applied. After humbly begging the author's pardon, for +taking this liberty with his ingenious performance, I must desire all +the masters and misses who read my translation of it, to be extremely +careful to avoid all the crimes and follies which it was intended to +correct; otherwise, if my friend the captain (who will probably hear of +their ill behaviour) should happen to speak of it, when he makes +another voyage to India, and it should by any means reach the ear of my +author, we may perhaps have a second volume, containing a mortifying +account of the surprising and lamentable transmigrations of some of the +naughty boys and girls in England. +</p> + + + + +<p class="chapter"> +CHAP. I. +</p> + +<p class="head"> +<i>Of the wonderful Transmigration of</i> Jack Idle <i>into the body of +an ass</i>. +</p> + + +<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/001.jpg" alt="A donkey" width="500" height="412"></div> + +<p> +<span class="dropcap">O</span><span class="firstword">ne</span> morning after breakfast I took a walk into the fields with my seven +dear children; which I did, not only for the benefit of their health, +but as a reward for their good behaviour. They always obey me and their +affectionate mother with the utmost cheerfulness; and I, in return, am +always ready to indulge them as far as my duty and their interest will +permit. When we had travelled about three miles from the city, where +Divine Providence has fixed our abode, we came to a range of little +tenements, or I should rather have called them sheds, over the midst of +which (and it was likewise the largest) was fixed a board, on which was +written in lofty capitals WAL*KINBEHOL*DANDLE*ARN,<a href="#note1" name="noteref1"><sup>1</sup></a> which signifies, +<i>Walk in</i>, <i>behold</i>, <i>and learn</i>. While I was musing +upon this strange inscription, and wondering what curiosities there +could be in such contemptible little huts, the door of the middlemost +was suddenly opened by a Bramin, who with the greatest politeness and +affability, desired us to walk in, assuring me, that notwithstanding +the mean appearance of his little tenements, there were several things +to be seen in them, which might contribute to the entertainment and +instruction of my pretty fellow travellers. "I am, said he, as you may +perceive by my habit, a Bramin, and my name is <i>Wiseman</i>. All the +time I can spare from the worship of my Maker, and the contemplation of +that astonishing wisdom and beneficence which he has displayed in his +works of creation and providence, I cheerfully devote to the service of +my fellow mortals, and particularly of the younger and unexperienced +part of them. The most valuable service I can render them is to conduct +them into the paths of virtue and discretion. For this purpose, having +been gifted with the faculty of distinguishing those animals which are +now animated by the souls of such human beings as formerly degraded +themselves to a level with the unthinking brutes, I have taken the +pains to provide a collection of beasts, birds, &c. most of which are +inhabited by the souls of some naughty masters or misses, who died in +the neighbourhood, and it is possible were not unknown to your little +companions. It was a proverb among the ancient Bramins, that <i>Example +is more powerful than precept</i>, and it is the common language of +mankind to this day, <i>I understand what I hear, but I believe what I +see</i>. It would not be amiss therefore, if you were to accompany the +young gentlemen and ladies into my little appartments, that they may be +eye witnesses to the mortifying consequences of an ill spent and +vicious life, even to those who have not arrived at the age of +manhood." +</p> + +<p> +We accepted the offer with the utmost gratitude, and eagerly inquired +what we had to pay for admittance. But the good Bramin assured us, that +he never made a traffick of the little wisdom he had to communicate, +and that the most acceptable recompense we could make him, was, to +bestow what we could prudently spare upon such real objects of charity +as might afterwards fall in our way:—"For mercy and benevolence, said +he, are the darling attributes of heaven, and those who are most +distinguished for the practice of them, bear the nearest resemblance to +their Maker, and will therefore receive the largest portion of his +favour both in this world, and in that which is to come." +</p> + +<p> +The first room we were conducted into was the habitation of a little +ass, who, as soon as we entered the place, began to bray, and kick up +his heels, at a most violent rate; but, upon the appearance of Mr. +Wiseman (which I have before observed was the Bramin's name) he thought +proper to compose himself, and stood as quiet as a lamb.—"This +stubborn little beast said our kind conductor, is now animated by the +soul of the late master <i>Idle</i>. In his life-time he possessed all +the bad properties of the animal you see before you; so that, to speak +the truth, he now appears in his proper shape. His rough coat of hair +is a very suitable emblem of the ruggedness of his disposition; and his +long and clumsy ears not only denotes his stupidity, but, as they +afford a very secure and convenient hold to any one who has occasion to +catch him when he runs loose in the fields, they sufficiently intimate +that he was always open to the ill advice of his play-fellows. If the +meanest and most dirty boy in the neighbourhood was in want of a +companion, or rather a tool, to assist him in his mischievous pranks, +he had nothing to do but to make his application to <i>Jack Idle</i>; +for foolish Jack (as they truly called him) was at the beck of every +mischievous rogue; and when the mischief was done, he was always left, +like a stupid ass as he was, to bear the burden of it. His father had +money; and Jack's great pride was to be complimented by his raggamuffin +companions as the cook of the game. Once (I remember it perfectly well) +three bargemen's boys having a violent inclination to plunder a pippin +tree, which was the property of farmer <i>Crusty</i>, they gave master +Jacky such a tempting account of the wish'd for prize, and held forth +so liberally in praise of his courage and ingenuity, that they +prevailed upon him to be not only a party, but the commander in chief +in this hopeful enterprize. <img src="images/002.jpg" alt="A house and a tree with a man standing under +the tree" width="500" height="434" align="left" hspace="20" vspace="20">But, as such +adventures generally terminate in the most mortifying disappointment, +the young plunderers were discovered by the farmer before they had +gathered half their booty. The three tarpaulins being at the bottom of +the tree made their escape without much difficulty; but Jack, who, to +support the dignity of his new command, had ascended almost to the top, +was unfortunately taken prisoner. The consequence was, that his father +(who had to deal with a wretch who was as crusty +by nature as he was by name) after being obliged to pay ten times the +value of the fruit, conducted his son to Mr. <i>Sharp</i>, the +gentleman who had the trouble of his education, from whom he received a +severe flogging in the presence of all his school fellows, as a very +suitable reward of his stupid ambition. From this account of him you +will naturally conclude that he was no great friend to learning; and, +indeed, so remarkable was his aversion to the useful arts of reading +and writing, that his greatest improvement amounted only to an +indifferent knowledge of the alphabet, and the poor accomplishment of +being just able to scrawl his own name in characters which were +scarcely legible. He was equally distinguished for his speed and +fidelity when his parents sent him on an errand; for he could hardly +make shift to saunter a mile in an hour, and when he arrived at the +place of his destination, he usually forgot three fourths of his +message, and endeavoured to supply the defect by some blundering tale +of his own invention. He was once dispatched by his father, in great +haste, to a gentleman who lived not a quarter of a mile off, to request +the favour of his company, in half an hour's time, to settle matters +with a grazer, of whom they had purchased several head of cattle; when +Jack arrived at the gentleman's house, which he actually did in the +short space of an hour and a half, he rubbed his eyes, and scratched +his head, and informed him that his father wanted him sadly, and that +he must come directly to speak with the <i>brazier</i>, who, he said, +had waited for him above two hours. It was very happy for his parents +(whether they thought so or not) that Jack's sudden exit out of the +world, in the thirteenth year of his age, effectually prevented him +from bringing any material disgrace upon his family; which he certainly +would have done, if he had lived to be his own master. The occasion of +his death was as follows:—One morning, instead of making the best of +his way to school, (which he was constantly ordered to do) happening +very luckily to be overtaken by <i>Tom Sharper</i>, and <i>Dick +Lackwit</i>, they prudently agreed to avoid the intolerable drudgery of +the hornbook, by playing truant and indulging themselves in the +profitable diversions of sitting all day on the bank of a lonesome +brook to fish for minows; they had pretty good sport, as they called +it, for the first hour; but then Mr. <i>Sharper's</i> line happening to +be entangled among some large weeds, from which he could not disengage +it as he stood upon the brink; and as he was naturally too great an +adept in the science of self preservation, to expose himself to danger, +when he could persuade another to supply his place; he requested the +favour of master <i>Idle</i> to ascend a sloping tree which stood upon +the bank, and from thence to descend gradually upon a hanging branch, +the small end of which almost touched his line. Poor Jack was somewhat +unwilling to venture upon the experiment; but a little more persuasion, +which was supported by a few surly menaces, soon vanquished every +objection. He accordingly ascended the tree; but when he attempted to +seat himself upon the hanging branch the small twigs, upon which he +stupidly fastened his hold for that purpose, suddenly gave way, and +down he plunged into the middle of the brook, where, after many eager +and ineffectual +<img src="images/003.jpg" alt="A man, holding a staff, standing in the woods" width="500" height="417" hspace="20" vspace="20" align="right"> +struggles to recover the bank, he sunk to the bottom, and rose no more. +The last words he spoke were, <i>Oh! my dear father! my dear mother! I +wish I had</i>—He meant I suppose, that he wished he had followed +their good advice; but the water, which ran very fast into his mouth, +suddenly stopped his speech, and nothing more was heard but a faint +bubbling in his throat, and two or three desperate plunges at the +bottom of the water, to preserve that life which fell a melancholy +sacrifice to his own folly and disobedience!—One would think that such +a shocking catastrophe would be sufficient to subdue ten times the +stubbornness and stupidity for which master <i>Idle</i> was so +remarkable: But as we are too apt to forget the eager promises, and +laugh at the self condemning reflections, which we have made in the +hour of distress, I need not mention it as a prodigy, that the soul by +which this little beast is animated, is still infected with the same +vicious disposition, which disgraced and punished it, when it occupied +the body of <i>Jack Idle</i>." +</p> + +<p> +To convince us of the truth of what he said, the good Bramin addressed +himself to the ass before us, and assured him that if he was sincerely +inclined to behave as he ought to do, and forsake the follies he had +been guilty of in his former state of existence, he should again have +the honour to ascend to the rank of human beings. But the stubborn +little animal (who perfectly understood what he said) first leered at +him with the most stupid resentment in the world, and then fell a +braying and kicking with greater violence than when we first entered +the room. "Soho! said Mr. Wiseman, is that your manners, my boy;"—and +then giving him two or three hearty strokes, "well, well, said he, if +this is all the return I am to have for my generous care of you, I will +certainly sell you to the first sandman I see, who will bestow upon you +plenty of drubbing, plenty of fasting, and (what you will relish the +worst of all) a never failing plenty of work." +</p> +<br> +<hr align="left" noshade size="2" width="40%"> +<a name="note1"> </a> +<p class="foot"> +<a href="#noteref1"><sup>1</sup></a> The captain informs that this inscription is in the language +of the ancient <i>Bramins</i>. +</p> + + + + +<p class="chapter"> +CHAP. II. +</p> + +<p class="head"> +<i>An Account of the surprizing Transmigration of Master</i> +<span class="sc">Anthony Greedyguts</span>, <i>into the Body of a Pig</i>. +</p> + + +<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/004.jpg" alt="A man standing by a hog who is lying on the ground" width="500" height="416"></div> + +<p> +<span class="dropcap">T</span><span class="firstword">he</span> next room into which we were conducted, contained a fat little pig, +who, as soon as we had entered the door, began to cry <i>a week</i>, +<i>a week</i>, <i>a week</i>, in such a squeaking tone as grated our +ears in the most disagreeable manner: but as soon as Mr. <i>Wiseman</i> +produced his wand, he lowered his pipes to a few sulky grunts, and then +became as still as a mouse.—"This young pig, said the venerable +Bramin, is now animated by the soul of the late master +<i>Greedyguts</i>, who died about two months ago, and has left a number +of relations behind him in almost every town you can mention. Poor +foolish youth, if he had been less fond of his belly, and more +attentive to his book, and to the good advice of his parents, his soul +would not have been confined as it now is, in the body of that nasty, +greedy, and noisy little animal which you see before you. But, to +represent his character in its proper colours, he was always a hoggish +little fellow, and disdained every other sort of labour but that of +lifting his hand to his mouth. He loved eating much better than +reading; and would prefer a tart, a custard, a plumcake, or even a +slice of gingerbread, or an apple, to the prettiest, and most useful +little book you could present him with; so that if his parents had +purchased a hundred books for him, one after the other, he would have +readily parted with them to the first crafty boy he met with, who had +any trash to spare by way of exchange. It cannot therefore be +considered as a miracle, notwithstanding the extraordinary care and +expense which his friends bestowed upon his education, that he always +continued a blockhead, and was such a perfect dunce at eleven years of +age, that instead of being able to read and write as a young gentleman +ought to do, he could scarcely tell his letters. He was equally +remarkable for his selfishness; for if he had twenty cheesecakes in his +box, or his pockets full of oranges and apples, he would sooner have +given a tooth out of his head than have parted with one of them, even +to his own brother or sister. The consequence was (and indeed what else +could have been expected) that he was despised and hated by all his +play fellows, and distinguished by the mortifying title of <i>Tony +Pig</i>; an animal which he perfectly resembled in his nastiness as +well as greediness. For if he was dressed in the morning as clean as +hands could make him, he would, by running into puddles and kennels, +and rolling upon the ground, become as black as a chimney sweeper +before noon; and I sincerely believe that he thought it as great a +punishment to have his hair combed, or to +<img src="images/005.jpg" alt="A man sitting on the ground in front of a house" width="500" height="428" hspace="20" vspace="20" align="left"> +wash his hands and face, as to be whipped; for he would cry and +struggle as much to avoid the one as to escape the other. But, to ease +his parents of their heavy apprehensions upon his account, and to rid +the world of such a plague and disgrace, as he certainly would have +been, if +he had lived to years of maturity, kind death was pleased to dispatch +him in the twelfth year of his age, by the help of a dozen penny +custards, which he greedily conveyed down his throat at one meal, and +thereby gorged his stomach, and threw himself into a mortal fever. +After his exit, his soul, as I have already informed you, was hurried +into the body of this little pig; a station which perfectly corresponds +with his disposition. Nay, so great is his stubbornness (which is +another hateful quality in which he resembled the animal before you) +that his punishment has not made the least alteration in his temper; +for, if we were to get his soul replaced into a human body, upon his +promise of immediate amendment, he will not submit even to make such a +promise. To convince you that I have not misrepresented his character, +I'll try the experiment immediately." Accordingly, the good Bramin +asked him before us all, if, upon the condition above-mentioned, he +would leave off his greedy and selfish behaviour. To this he +condescended, though with a visible reluctance, to grunt, <i>aye, +aye</i>.<img src="images/006.jpg" alt="A man standing in a room with a table and chair" width="500" height="417" hspace="20" vspace="20" align="right"> "But how long will it be, said Mr. Wiseman, before you perform +your promise?" <i>A week, a week, a week</i>, cried the pig. "And how +long will it be before you lay aside your nastiness, and maintain such +a cleanly and decent appearance as becomes a gentleman?" <i>A week, a +week</i>, said the dirty creature. "And how long will it be before you +respect the good advice of your parents, and prefer the improvement of +your understanding to the gratification of your appetite?" <i>A week, a +week, a week</i>, replied the stubborn little animal. "In short, said +the worthy Bramin, if I were to repeat the same questions to him a +month, or even a year hence, I should not prevail upon him to say +<i>now</i>; but his constant answer would be, <i>a week, a week, a +week</i>. I believe, therefore, that instead of reforming him (which is +an event that would afford me the most sensible pleasure) we shall at +last be forced to roast and eat him; for, as long as he continues in +his present way of thinking, it is very certain that his existence can +be of no service either to himself, or any one else." Thus, then, said +he, I have troubled you with a particular account of this stupid little +pig; and I sincerely hope that the story will prevail upon my young +visitors to be cleanly in their appearance, temperate in their diet, +and kind and obliging to every body; for whosoever pursues a contrary +behaviour, is in reality a <i>hog</i>, though he bears the name of a +gentleman. +</p> + + + + +<p class="chapter"> +CHAP. III. +</p> + +<p class="head"> +<i>The Transmigration of Miss</i> <span class="sc">Dorothy Chatterfast</span> <i>into the Body +of a Magpie.</i> +</p> + + +<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/007.jpg" alt="A woman standing in front of a large bird cage that contains a large bird" width="500" height="425"></div> + +<p> +<span class="dropcap">I</span><span class="firstword">n</span> one corner of the room where poor <i>Tony Pig</i> was confined, hung +a large cage, which was the prison of a pert young magpie. As soon as +my son <i>Jacky</i> who was the youngest of the company, and remarkably +fond of birds, had saluted her by the well known appellation of <i>mag, +poor mag</i>; she wagged her tail with surprising agility, and began to +chatter in such an elevated tone, and with such a rapid pronunciation, +that I was heartily glad when the kind Bramin commanded silence. "The +body of this party coloured, loquacious bird, said he, is the +involuntary residence of the late Miss Dorothy Chatterfast; who was a +most notorious little gossip, and belonged to a family which is as +numerous as that of the <i>Greedyguts</i>. To do her justice, she was a +handsome little girl, and as brisk and notable as any young miss in her +neighbourhood. But to her own misfortune, and the unspeakable vexation +of most persons who came within the sphere of her observation, her +little tongue was as active as her hands. She learned to talk very +early, and so speedy was her improvement in the art of prattling, that, +before she was three years old, she could lisp out a tale in very +intelligible language. Her parents were so unwise as to encourage her +in this mischievous kind of ingenuity, not only from the pleasure they +took in hearing how fast she learned to speak, but because they +considered it as an infallible token that she would, in time, prove an +excellent wit and a notable manager. It is not, therefore, to be +wondered at, that she took a great deal of notice of every thing which +passed in the family, and particularly in the kitchen. If any of the +servants accidentally broke a teacup, or saucer, a glass, &c. or +received an unexpected visit from some of their acquaintance, or +relations, when her parents happened to be absent from home; she never +failed to inform them of it, the first opportunity, with many +aggravating circumstances of her own invention; for which they +generally complimented her, by way of reward, with the flattering +titles of <i>a good child</i>, <i>a sweet little dear</i>, and <i>a +careful little girl</i>. By this officious impertinence she frequently +got the servants reprimanded, and sometimes dismissed; so that by +degrees they all began to fear and hate her. She was equally attentive +to every trifle which happened at the school, where she was daily sent +to learn the art of reading, and the use of her needle; for the moment +she came home, and before she had well entered the parlour door, and +made her courtesy, her little tongue began to rattle like a mill +clack."—"Mamma, said she, Tommy Careless was flogged for tearing his +book, Jackey +<img src="images/008.jpg" alt="Two women, one standing and one seated" width="500" height="415" hspace="20" vspace="20" align="right"> +Fidget because he was a naughty boy and would not sit still, Polly +Giddybrains, for losing her needle and thread paper, and, Lord bless +me! my ma'am was so cross, that she was going to put the nasty fool's +cap on <i>my</i> head, only for miscalling the first word in my +lesson."—"In short she was such a notorious telltale, that she was soon +dignified by her school fellows with the honourable appellation of +<i>Dolly Cagmag</i>. As she advanced in years, the habit grew upon her; +and when she was old enough to be introduced into company, and go a +visiting, she carried on the same mischievous and despicable trade +abroad, in which she had met with such encouragement at home. Whatever +she saw or heard in one place, she would be sure to report it in +another; so that all the masters and misses who had the mortification +to fall into her company, considered themselves as under the malicious +inspection of a meddlesome spy; which they had the more reason to do, +because she seldom failed to embellish her informations with the +recital of several unfavourable circumstances of her own invention." +"Indeed, Mr. Wiseman, said Betsey, my youngest daughter, what you have +told us is exactly true; for I have been in company with Miss +Chatterfast several times, and I remember once in particular that when +Master <i>Sprightly</i>, who was a merry young spark, had stolen a kiss +from Miss <i>Patty Sweetlips</i>, though the poor young lady blushed as +red as scarlet, and seemed to be greatly displeased at the freedom +which had been taken with her, Miss Chatterfast was so mischievous as +to represent her to all her acquaintance as a bold little hussey, who +loved to be kissed by the young gentlemen. When poor innocent Patty was +informed of the character which had been so unjustly fixed upon her, +she was ashamed to stir out of doors, and laid it so much to heart I +thought she would have cried her eyes out." "This was very unkind +indeed, replied the good Bramin; and yet, I sincerely believe that all +the mischief her tongue was guilty of, was more owing to her vanity and +that talkative humour in which she had always been encouraged from her +infancy, than to any real malice in her heart. She had been long +accustomed to speak without thinking, and naturally imagined that her +impertinent loquacity would be as much admired and applauded by other +people as by her thoughtless parents. I have the satisfaction, however, +to observe that you are perfectly sensible of her mistake, though she +had not the good fortune to be so herself. If she had lived much +longer, it is very probable that the many slights and affronts she must +necessarily have met with, would have opened her eyes: For those who by +their impertinent censures set the whole world at defiance, may +reasonably expect to find an enemy in every house they enter. But her +meddlesome, inquisitive disposition proved to be the accidental means +of shortening her days, before she had experience enough to correct it: +for, one evening, Mr. <i>Kindly</i>, a wealthy merchant, indulged all +the young masters and misses in the neighbourhood with a splendid ball +at his own house: Miss <i>Chatterfast</i>, though she had at that time +a severe cold upon her, was so desirous of embracing such a favourable +opportunity of making her remarks upon the behaviour and different +dresses of the company, and thereby furnishing herself with an ample +stock for conversation, that she could not be prevailed upon by her too +indulgent parents to spend the evening at home. The consequence was +such as might naturally have been expected. By first over heating +herself at the ball, and afterwards exposing herself to the night air +in her return home, her cold, (which was bad enough before) suddenly +increased into a violent fever which hurried her to the grave in the +short space of five or six days. Though her untimely death excited the +transient pity of most of her acquaintance, very few of them, I +believe, were really sorry to part with her. But notwithstanding that +violent propensity to exercise her tongue, which she too frequently +indulged to the vexation of her neighbours, she had a large fund of +good nature at the bottom; so that I am in hopes that she will soon be +restored to the rank of human beings, and have an opportunity of +employing her speaking faculties with greater discretion and in a more +agreeable manner than she did before. Her former loquacity (as I have +already observed) was almost entirely owing to that vanity and want of +thought, in which she had been too much encouraged by the simple +fondness of her parents; but the low station in which she now appears, +will probably teach her to be more humble and considerate, and of +consequence to check that talkative humour which in her past lifetime +formed the most remarkable part of her character." Poor mag (who, I +suppose, understood every word the Bramin said) wagged her tail a +little, as we left the room, but did not think proper to utter a single +chatter. +</p> + + + + +<p class="chapter"> +CHAP. IV. +</p> + +<p class="head"> +<i>The Transmigration of Master</i> <span class="sc">Stephen Churl</span> <i>into the Body of +a little Cur.</i> +</p> + + +<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/009.jpg" alt="A man and a dog" width="500" height="417"></div> + +<p> +<span class="dropcap">I</span><span class="firstword">n</span> the next apartment we entered, we saw a little snarling cur, who +immediately saluted us with a surly grin, and barked and yelped as if +he would have torn the house down. He was indeed very securely chained +to a small kennel; but my daughter Betsey happening to venture too near +him, he snapped at her and tore her apron. "Take care, miss, said Mr. +Wiseman, and keep out of his reach; for though he is but a cur, he is +very mischievous. His body is the contemptible residence of the soul of +the late Master <i>Churl</i>. Poor miserable youth! he was a wrangler +from his infancy; and his litigious temper gave him as just a title to +the name of <i>Churl</i> as his birth. Even when he was a child in +arms, he was such a peevish and noisy little brat, that his mamma could +not find a woman who would undertake the trouble of nursing him; and as +soon as he was able to speak and run alone, he began to wrangle with +his brothers and sisters, upon the most trifling occasions, and seldom +forgot to support his argument by exerting his little hands and heels +with the most malicious activity; so that to mortify his pride, and +give a check to his ill nature, they bestowed upon him the disgraceful +title of young <i>Kick and Cuff</i>. Poor Stephen, however bid defiance +to all their ridicule, and was so far from being reclaimed by it, that +his turbulence increased in proportion to his strength and stature. He +was afterwards as quarrelsome at school as he had been at home; and in +every party at taw, or trap ball, or any other innocent diversion in +which he happened to be engaged, he was always remarkable for +disturbing the game by his frivolous disputes: Nay, when he was only a +looker on, he would betray his wrangling impertinent temper, by calling +out, such a one does not play fairly; such a one counts too many; and +such a one goes in before his turn. The usual reward he received for +his trouble was, a handsome drubbing, sometimes from his master, but +more frequently from his school fellows. He was equally notorious for +his great forwardness to give a challenge, upon the slightest +provocation, and very often from mere wantonness; and sometimes he +would very unfairly begin an engagement without giving any previous +notice, that he might make sure of the first blow. But his strength and +skill being unequal to his pretensions, the many mortifying defeats he +received, soon taught him the despicable cunning of assaulting none but +those, who, he believed, were either too weak to contend with him, or +too cowardly to stand in their own defence. The speedy consequence of +such a dirty conduct was, that the bigger boys despised and laughed at +him, and those who were less than himself, carefully shunned his +company; so that at last poor wrangling Stephen, for want of +play-fellows, had no other diversion left for him, but to take a +solitary ramble through the fields. His parents being informed of the +disagreeable situation into which he had brought himself, and what a +shy reception he met with from all the boys in the neighbourhood, +thought it adviseable, after giving him a strict caution to behave in a +more peaceable manner for the future, to remove him to a genteel +boarding school, at a distance from home. If he had thought proper to +follow their advice, and make a diligent use of the excellent<img src="images/010.jpg" alt="Two men fighting" width="500" height="419" align="left" hspace="20" vspace="20"> +instructions he received from his new teachers, he might afterwards +have cut a shining figure in the world; but, as what is bred in the +bone, seldom gets out of the flesh, so it fared with <i>Stephen +Churl</i>. Though he was a little reserved at first, as being entirely +among strangers, a short acquaintance with them made him very +familiar—the affability and good nature with which they listened to +every thing he said, soon encouraged him to be pert; and from pertness +he proceeded to open rudeness and ill manners—until at last happening +to be very mildly reprimanded by one of the young gentlemen, whose +tenderness he misconstrued into cowardice, he commenced hostilities, as +usual, by giving him an unexpected blow on the face. But his antagonist +being possessed of as much spirit as politeness, returned the +compliment in an instant; and conducted the engagement + +on his side with such vigour and activity, that our hero soon retired +from the field of battle heartily drubbed, to make his complaint to the +master, who, after a minute inquiry into all the circumstances of the +fray, thought proper to reward him for the unnecessary trouble he had +given himself, with the severest flogging he had ever received in his +life time. Thus mortified and disgraced, the unfortunate <i>Stephen</i> +resolved upon an elopement; but, being ashamed to return to his +parents, he rambled through the fields and woods, and scrambled over +hedges and ditches, <img src="images/011.jpg" alt="A man standing, a man lying on the ground, and a seated woman" width="500" height="401" hspace="20" vspace="20" align="left">until at length having torn his clothes to rags, +and being almost ready to perish with hunger, he eagerly listed himself +into a gang of gypsies, and supped very heartily upon the remains of a +roasted cat. +The intolerable hardships he suffered, and the coarse fare he was +obliged to put up with in this new situation, together with the +frequent bangs and thumps which he received from the younger part of +his strolling comrades, who were as quarrelsome and mischievous as +himself, but abundantly more robust, soon broke his heart; so that he +died in a barn, and was buried, like a beggar, at the expense of a +little country parish." While the Bramin was concluding the history of +Master <i>Churl</i>, my son <i>Jackey</i>, whose temper was rather too +fiery, looked very sheepish; which his sister <i>Betsey</i> observing, +and easily guessing the cause of it, she desired him with a good +natured smile, when we were leaving the room, to think on poor +<i>Stephen</i>, and be sure to take warning. +</p> + + + + +<p class="chapter"> +CHAP. V. +</p> + +<p class="head"> +<i>The comical and mortifying Transmigration of little Monsieur</i> +<span class="sc">Fribble</span> <i>into the Body of a Monkey.</i> +</p> + + +<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/012.jpg" alt="A man looking into a mirror, which is being held by a monkey" width="500" height="404"></div> + +<p> +<span class="dropcap">A</span><span class="firstword">fter</span> we had taken our leave of Master <i>Churl</i>, we were conducted +into the apartment of Mr. <i>Pug</i>, a chattering young monkey, who, +as soon as he saw us whipt his little hat under his arm in a crack, and +seating himself upon his backside, welcomed each of us into the room by +several ceremonious nods, which were intended to supply the place of a +bow, and were accompanied by such a noisy affected grin, that it was +impossible for us to forbear laughing—"This contemptible animal, said +Mr. <i>Wiseman</i>, is inhabited by the little soul of the late Master +<i>Billy Fribble</i>, a young gentleman of French extraction, whose +friends came and settled in the country about fifty years ago. His play +fellows dignified him with the humorous title of <i>the little +Monsieur</i>, not so much on account of his diminutive stature, as for +that trifling and finical behaviour which distinguishes the least +respectable, though, by many thoughtless persons, the most admired part +of the French nation. As neither his bodily nor mental faculties were +very vigorous, his childhood was remarkable only for a certain +effeminate vivacity, which continually displayed itself in such a noisy +and insignificant prattling, as was very tiresome and disagreeable to +every body in the house. When he grew older, he added to his former +loquacity the most passionate fondness for fine clothes; so that in the +twelfth year of his age, he became as complete a top as ever eyes +beheld. He wore upon his head a macaroni hat about the size of a small +tea saucer; his coat, which scarcely had any skirts to it, was of the +most glaring colour he could fix upon; and his hair, which was +plaistered over with powder and pomatum, was tied behind in a large +club, which hung swagging upon his shoulders like a soldier's knapsack. +Thus elegantly dressed, he strutted along the streets with a large +stick in his hand about a foot taller than himself, and a small cutteau +de chasse by his side, which he could handle with as much dexterity as +his pen; an instrument in the use of which he had made such a +contemptible proficiency, that it required as much acuteness to +discover the meaning of his aukward scrawl, as to explain the +hieroglyphick characters of the ancient Egyptians. What still increased +the obscurity of every thing which Monsieur <i>Fribble</i> undertook +the trouble of penning, was that, excepting when he wrote his own name, +he had a method of spelling which was peculiar to himself. He was +equally famous for his skill in the useful science of numbers; for +though, during the space of seven or eight years, he devoted to it a +considerable part of that lingering time which he was forced to spare +from his private diversions in school hours, the sum total of his +improvement was, that he was scarcely capable of casting up the +contents of a shoemaker's little bill. His highest ambition was, in the +first place, to furnish himself with a large collection of +complimentary phrases, which he had seldom discretion enough to apply +with any tolerable propriety; and, in the next, to complete himself in +the polite art of dancing, in which he so far succeeded as to be able +to skip about with the most regular agility, though he never had a +sufficient share of good sense to be able to dance with gracefulness. +Thus accomplished, he excited the admiration of every silly coquette, +and the envy of every fluttering coxcomb; but by all young gentlemen +and ladies of understanding he was heartily despised as a mere +civilized monkey. He performed every thing by imitation; and he +imitated nothing (unless he was forcibly compelled to it) by which a +rational being may be distinguished from a brute animal. But the +species of imitation in which he most delighted, was that which, in the +vulgar style, is called <i>mocking</i>; for he was not possessed of a +sufficient stock of ingenuity to be (what he very frequently attempted +to be) a clever mimick. If any of his schoolmates happened to be +afflicted with an impediment in their speech, an accidental lameness, +or the like; he had the mean barbarity to endeavour to aggravate the +misfortune by a coarse imitation, which generally turned the whole +ridicule upon himself.<img src="images/013.jpg" alt="Two men standing, facing each other" width="500" height="426" hspace="20" vspace="20" align="right"> He once had the impudence to practise his +mockery upon a worthy gentlemen in the neighbourhood, who was so +unfortunate as to be unable to speak without stuttering. The gentleman +happening to pass by Mr. <i>Fribble's</i> door, at which our little +monsieur +was then standing with a magpie in his hand." "<i>Bi-bi-bill</i>, said +the good man (after inquiring very civilly how he did) has that pretty +ma-ma-mag learned to ta-ta-talk?" "Ye-ye-yes, replied the saucy fop, +be-be-better than you do, or else I would wring his head off." "This +rude and impertinent answer, which at first excited the laughter of +some of the by-standers, soon gave them a very mean opinion of him, and +he was afterwards despised by every sensible person, as a mischievous, +unthinking coxcomb. What aggravated his punishment was, that he had so +frequently indulged himself in the ungenerous and silly practice of +mocking the imperfect pronunciation of others, that at last he himself +contracted such a habit of stuttering as he could never leave off. This +gave such a poor recommendation to the nonsensical things he was +continually saying, that he became the object of ten times the ridicule +which he had endeavoured to inflict upon those who had a <i>natural</i> +impediment. What was pitied in them as a misfortune, was despised in +him as an ill-acquired and consequently a vicious imperfection; and +therefore every one was willing to increase the mortifying smart of it, +and keep alive the conscious shame he felt of wearing a fool's cap +which was entirely of his own making. This vexatious, and in some +degree, vindictive ridicule to which he was daily exposed, and which, +in time, he might have softened and disarmed by an humble and penitent +deportment, gave such an insupportable wound to his foolish pride, that +he soon absconded from company, and died of a broken heart. That his +soul might afterwards occupy such a station as would be most suitable +to his character, it was sentenced to inhabit the body of that finical, +grinning, and mischievous little mimick with four legs, which you now +behold before you." As soon as the Bramin had finished his story, poor +<i>pug</i> (who seemed to retain all the little pride of Monsieur +<i>Fribble</i>) grinned, chattered, and skipped about with a ridiculous +resentment which was mingled with evident marks of fear; until at last, +having agitated himself into a perfect passion, he made a hasty spring +at his keeper, which, to his own abashment, and the laughter of my +young companions, was as suddenly checked by a small chain that secured +him to the floor. +</p> + + + + +<p class="chapter"> +CHAP. VI. +</p> + +<p class="head"> +<i>The dismal Transmigration of Master</i> <span class="sc">Tommy Filch</span> <i>into the +Body of a Wolf.</i> +</p> + +<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/014.jpg" alt="Two men being followed by a wolf" width="500" height="417"></div> + + +<p> +<span class="dropcap">A</span><span class="firstword">s</span> soon as we had lifted up the latch to enter into the next apartment, +we were immediately alarmed by a horrid howling; which upon opening the +door we discovered to be the savage musick of a lusty young wolf, who +looked as fierce as if he would have torn every one of us to pieces. +But a strong chain confined his fury to one corner of the room; so that +we could venture pretty near him without any danger of feeling the +strength of his jaws. "This plundering and voracious animal, said the +Bramin, who has been accustomed to gratify his appetite at the expense +of all the farmers in the neighbourhood, is inhabited by the soul of +the late Master <i>Filch</i>, who, as you will find by the sequel of +the story, is now placed in a station which is perfectly suitable to +his character. His very infancy was disgraced by a natural propensity +to fraud and rapine; for as soon as he could talk plain enough to be +understood, the chief employment of his tongue was to tell as many +stories as his little head was capable of inventing; and that his hands +might come in for their share of mischief, he never failed to make a +property of all the sugar, fruit, tarts, &c. which the carelessness of +the servants had left within his reach. If his parents had been wise +enough to chastise him for his little roguery, they might have nipped +it in the bud; but they were so imprudently fond, that they not only +neglected to administer the discipline of the rod, but made his +falsehood and pilferings the constant subject of their merriment. They +considered his faults as trivial, because they were the faults of a +child; not reflecting that if the seeds of vice are suffered to grow, +they will in a shorter time than is commonly imagined, take such deep +root in the heart, that it will be scarcely possible to eradicate them. +Experience, however, soon undeceived them; for when little <i>Filch</i> +was eight or nine years old, though he had plenty of fruit at home, +they had the mortification to be informed that he was making daily +incursions into every poor man's garden in the neighbourhood. The +consequence of these repeated complaints was sometimes a severe +reprimand, and sometimes as severe a flogging; but neither the one nor +the other were able to produce a reformation, though it is very +probable, that if they had been applied in time, they might have been +applied to better purpose. From robbing orchards he soon proceeded to +the raising private contributions on his school fellows. Sometimes he +defrauded them at play: sometimes he picked their pockets; and very +frequently he stole their books, or money, out of their desks and +boxes: and, as it is the study of every wicked boy to maintain the +appearance of honesty as long as he is able, as soon as the robbery was +discovered he was the first person to exclaim against it, which he did +in the bitterest terms, and to prevent a long and circumstantial +inquiry after the author of it (which he suspected would not terminate +in his favour) he impudently pretended to have been an eye witness of +the fact, and then boldly charged it upon one or another of his school +mates, who he knew had neither skill nor spirit enough to contradict +his evidence in a satisfactory manner. By this means the bashful +innocent was frequently punished instead of the guilty. But as bad boys +are seldom able to conceal their faults long from the eye of justice, +young <i>Filch</i> was soon detected in his wickedness, and being +considered as a dangerous person, whose bad example might have a +pernicious effect upon his play fellows, he was first corrected with +all the severity he deserved, and then sent home to his parents. In +this disgraceful manner he was dismissed from every school in the +country, 'till at last, though he was only thirteen years old, there +was not a single academy into which he could be admitted upon any terms +whatever. But this was not the worst effect of the ill character he had +acquired: for as no one is willing to introduce a lad of bad reputation +into his house, there was not a tradesman of any credit to be found who +would venture to take him as an apprentice, though a large premium was +offered for that purpose. His parents, therefore, were under the +disagreeable necessity of keeping him at home; but having little or +nothing for him to do, he soon fell into bad company, who in as short a +time gave him a perfect relish for the scandalous and expensive +amusement of gaming and tippling. His finances, though sufficiently +plentiful for a youth of his age, were by these destructive means so +much encumbered with little debts, that to maintain a worthless credit +among his worthless companions, he formed the wicked resolution of +taking money from his father and mother without their knowledge. The +<img src="images/015.jpg" alt="One man pointing a hand gun at another man" width="500" height="409" hspace="20" vspace="20" align="left">success of his first attempt (in which he was not discovered, because +he was not suspected to be capable of so much baseness) encouraged him +to a second; and the success of his second attempt encouraged him to +greater extravagances and more expensive risk than he had ventured upon +before. But his wickedness, which in the former instances had been +wrongfully charged upon the servants of the family, being at last +detected, and his parents taking him very severely to task on account +of such an abandoned and depraved conduct, he left them in a fit of +anger and remorse, and became a thoughtless and unhappy wanderer; in +this situation falling one evening into a company whose mirth and +gaiety greatly delighted him, and whose genteel appearance led him to +suppose they were gentlemen, though in reality they were no other than +highwaymen, he was prevailed on in an unguarded moment, when heated +with liquor, to make an incursion with this infamous banditti, and +actually stopped a gentleman and demanded his money; fortunately, +however for this unhappy youth, the gentleman was an old school fellow, +and making himself known to him, with much intreaty prevailed on him +immediately to leave the company of those desperate adventurers, and +totally to abandon a mode of life so shockingly wicked in itself, and +so dreadfully fatal in its consequences. +<img src="images/016.jpg" alt="A boy in front of wall shelves" width="500" height="391" hspace="20" vspace="20" align="right"> +"But from the idle and dissipated manner in which he had spent his +time, he had contracted an unconquerable habit of indolence, and a +rooted aversion to business; in this frame of mind, the army became his +last resource, into which he entered as a common soldier, but after a +short time his itch for pilfering returning, he could not refrain from +making free with some money with which he was intrusted by his officer; + being detected, he was punished with that rigorous severity with which +thefts in the army usually are, and being afterwards thrown into the +Savoy prison, to prevent a repetition of his crime, he died there in a +few days of his wounds in the utmost misery. When the Bramin had +finished this melancholy tale, the poor wolf, as if he was conscious +how nearly it concerned him, heightened the horrour with which it had +filled us by such a mournful and terrifying howl, as made us heartily +glad to quit the room." +</p> + + + + + + +<p class="chapter"> +CHAP. VII. +</p> + +<p class="head"> +<i>Of the wonderful Transmigration of Master</i> <span class="sc">Richard Rustick</span> +<i>into the Body of a Bear.</i> +</p> + + +<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/017.jpg" alt="A man and a pig" width="500" height="419"></div> +<p> +<span class="dropcap">I</span><span class="firstword">n</span> the next apartment into which Mr. <i>Wiseman</i> conducted us, we +saw the cub of a bear, who lay upon the floor to which he was chained, +without having the good manners to rise when we entered; but when the +Bramin applied his wand to young Bruin's buttocks, he heaved up his +shaggy hide with a kind of lazy resentment, and saluted us with a +reluctant grin and a savage growl, which plainly intimated that he did +not think himself much beholden to us for our company. "This young +brute, said our conductor, is animated by the soul of the late matter +<i>Rustick</i>, of clownish memory. His father was a gentleman of rank +and fortune, and greatly beloved and respected by all his acquaintance; +and if his son Richard had possessed the same virtues and +accomplishments, he might afterwards have enjoyed his title and estate +with equal comfort and reputation. But as merit does not go by +inheritance, like house and land, young <i>Rustick's</i> character was +entirely the reverse of his father's. He was of an awkward clumsy make; +and the heaviness of his disposition, and the coarseness of his manners +perfectly corresponded with the shape of his body. Though he was sent +to school very early, and put under the care of the best instructors +which the country afforded, he was a considerable time before he could +tell his letters, and much longer before he could read with tolerable +accuracy: and even then he pronounced every thing with such a clownish +accent and such a drawling tone, that any stranger would have taken him +for a young country bumkin, who had been used to follow the plow tail, +and not for the son and heir of a wealthy gentleman. He was equally +eminent for his neatness and dexterity in the art of penmanship; for, +even when he was twelve years old, if you had seen the letter which he +then sent to his mamma without the knowledge of his master, it was +wrote so crooked (i.e. not from side to side as it ought to have been, +but from corner to corner) and the strokes were all so coarse and +uneven, and the whole of the letter so awkwardly spelt, and so +unmercifully blotted and bedawbed, that you would have thought it had +been the elegant epistle of <i>Tony Clodhopper</i> to his grandmother +<i>Goody Linsey Woolsey</i>. As for his mamma, poor gentlewoman! when +she first opened it, she thought it had been sent to her by some +impudent shoe black or chimney sweeper; but when she had directed her +eyes to the bottom and read (though not, I assure you, without the +greatest difficulty)—"<i>from yr, loven ind respactfle sun, Rickard +Rostick</i>" she was so much oppressed with shame and vexation, that +she tore the letter into a thousand pieces, and was ready to burst into +tears. He was alike remarkable for the politeness of his manners, and +his agreeable address; for he had such a treacherous memory, though he +had been frequently reminded of the propriety and indeed the necessity +of observing those little punctilios of good behaviour, that he seldom +remembered when any company entered the room in which he happened to be +sitting, either to rise from his chair or take off his hat; and when he +was told of it either by his parents or his master, he would bounce up, +and snatch of his hat in such an awkward hurry, grinning and leering +the whole time, that you would have thought he had just started from a +dream; and even then he would generally forget to finish the rude +ceremony by making one of his ducking bows. It is true, indeed, he had +been under the hands of a dancing master; but notwithstanding the +utmost care and assiduity of his teacher, who was esteemed a very +excellent one; he was never able to perform a whit better than he does +in his present shape. In short, you might as well have kept a hog in +training for Newmarket races, or an ox for his majesty to ride upon at +a grand review, as have attempted to initiate master <i>Dicky +Rustick</i> in the elements of politeness and good breeding. With such +a delicate disposition, and such amiable talents, you will readily +perceive that he must have been a most agreeable play fellow. His +favorite diversion was that which has been distinguished by +<img src="images/018.jpg" alt="A man, down on one knee, begging a standing man" width="500" height="424" hspace="20" vspace="20" align="right"> +the vulgar, by the well known name of <i>Pully Hawly</i>, in which he +so much excelled that whenever he was invited by the young gentlemen +and ladies in the neighbourhood to play with them, he generally +rewarded their civility by tearing their coats or pulling their clothes +off their backs before he returned home; so that at last they bestowed +upon him, by general consent, the honourable title of <i>'Squire +Bruin</i>. It must, however, be acknowledged that he was a youth of +such impartial justice, that he shewed as little favour to his own +clothes as to those of <i>other</i> people; for what with climbing up +old trees, and rambling over hedges and ditches, to seek for birds +nests, he commonly appeared by dinner time, how well soever he had been +dressed in the morning, in as ragged a coat as he wears at present. It +must also be remarked, that if the young gentlemen and ladies soon grew +weary, as indeed they did, of such a rough play fellow, he, in +<i>his</i> turn, was as willing to leave <i>their</i> company, as they +were to be rid of <i>his</i>; for his chief delight was to associate +with such vulgar boys and girls as were of the same rugged disposition +as himself. With these he could pull and hawl and romp and tear as long +as he pleased; and the more active he became in this raggamuffin +species of diversion, the more they relished his company. But, upon +occasion, he could fight as well as play: I mean when he either was +provoked to it by his equals, or tempted to it by the hopes of +defrauding of their little property those who he knew had neither +strength enough nor courage to resist him. But whatever was his motive +either for <i>beginning</i> or suffering himself to be <i>drawn</i> +into an engagement, he was very far from confining himself to any rules +of honour, or to the established laws of war; for instead of boxing +fairly, he would kick, pull hair, bite, and scratch most unmercifully, +and never fail to take every advantage of his antagonist after he had +brought him to the ground. For these reasons he was soon dignified with +the nick name of <i>Dick Bear</i>, even by the vulgar boys in the +streets; and most of them afterwards took care never to engage with him +unless when +<img src="images/019.jpg" alt="A pile of people under a tree" width="500" height="415" hspace="20" vspace="20" align="left"> +there were several other boys present to see fair play. One would think +that such a rough hewn and slovenly mortal as we have been describing +would have had little regard for any delicacies in the eating way. But +whoever draws such a conclusion in favour of our hero, <i>Dicky +Rustick</i>, is greatly mistaken; for I can assure you that he had as +nice and dainty a tooth as any lady in the land. Though his father +always kept a handsome table, it afforded scarcely any thing which was +good enough for the palate of Master <i>Richard</i>. Nothing would go +down with him but tarts, custards, and the most costly cakes and +puddings; for as to good roast and boiled meat and plain and wholesome +pies or dumplings, he would turn up his nose at them as if they were +fit only for vagabonds and beggars. Nay, even to this very hour, and in +his present clumsy shape, he is almost as dainty as ever; for he is +remarkably +<img src="images/020.jpg" alt="A man standing in front of a bee hive" width="500" height="416" hspace="20" vspace="20" align="right"> +fond of honey, and if permitted would often expose his shaggy head and +his eyes to the resentment of the bees, by disturbing their hives to +rob them of their delicious store. It was his fondness for niceties of +every kind which shortened his days, and eased his parents of their +apprehensions for a son who, if he had lived, would have been a +continual plague and disgrace to them; for on the day when he entered +into the fourteenth year of his age, being indulged rather more than +common, he devoured such a quantity of the richest tarts, that his +stomach could not digest them; so that he soon fell into a violent +fever, which in a few days hurried his unworthy soul out of the body of +a young country 'squire (for such he would have been) into the carcass +of this hairy and awkward young monster which now stands before you. He +so well understands what I have been saying, and is so much vexed at +the character I have given of him, which he knows to be a very just +one, that if you will promise to quit the room and leave him to himself +he will pleasure you with one of his best dances before you +go."—Accordingly after thanking the Bramin for the account he had +given us, we all promised to leave Mr. <i>Bruin</i> to his own +meditation; upon which, after taking two or three sulkey rounds, the +young savage reared himself upon his buttocks, and shuffled a saraband +which lasted a few minutes. When he had finished his dance he swaggered +down again upon his fore paws, and by a sullen growl seemed to claim +the performance of our promise, an indulgence which we very readily +granted him. +</p> + + + + +<p class="chapter"> +CHAP. VIII. +</p> + +<p class="head"> +<i>Of the astonishing Transmigration of Miss</i> <span class="sc">Abigail Eviltongue</span> +<i>into the Body of a Serpent.</i> +</p> + + +<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/021.jpg" alt="A woman looking at a snake on the ground" width="500" height="413"></div> + +<p> +<span class="dropcap">I</span><span class="firstword">n</span> the next apartment we saw a large wire cage, in which the Bramin +told us he had a bird which was something different from the common +ones; and so indeed it was, for upon my eldest daughter's going near to +see it, she was startled by a large serpent which darted itself against +the wires, and hissed and sissed as if it would have stung us all to +death in an instant. It was however, a very beautiful creature of the +kind, and as the sun then shone very bright, the golden and silver +streaks upon its azure skin made a very splendid appearance. My +youngest son wanting to go and stroke it;—"No, my pretty boy, said the +good Bramin; if you have any value for yourself, you will always keep +out of the reach of such creatures as these, and of all such who +resemble the young lady by whose soul this serpent is animated. I say +<i>young lady</i>, because the serpent before you is indeed animated by +the soul of the late Miss <i>Abigail Eviltongue</i>. The family of the +<i>Eviltongue</i>, (I dare say you have heard of them) is extremely +numerous; for there are some, and indeed too many of them, in every +town, and, I believe in every village in the country. Miss +<i>Abigail</i>, the young lady I am speaking of, had as just a title to +the name, and supported the character of her family with as much +exactness as any one amongst them; for her tongue was remarkably +active, and spared the reputation neither of friend nor foe. She was, +it is true, a very handsome girl, and the charms of her person would +have procured her many admirers if they had not been disgraced by her +natural propensity to slander and defamation. In her very infancy, as +soon as she could speak to be understood, she began with telling fibs +of the servants, and very frequently of her brothers and sisters; for +which, you may be certain, they all despised her very heartily. But as +she was too much encouraged in this hateful practice by her parents, +instead of being severely flogged for it, as she ought to have been, +she set the frowns and sneers of the others at open defiance; and the +more they resented her little malice the more eager she was to gratify +it by loading them with all the falsehoods she was capable of +inventing. In proportion as she grew older, this mischievous habit +increased upon her; and when she was big enough to go a visiting, she +indulged it abroad with as much freedom as she had been used to do at +home; so that, in a short time, there was scarcely a young miss or +master in the neighbourhood whose character she had not attempted to +injure. What made her slanders the more odious was, that she generally +vented them under a pretence of the greatest friendship and respect for +the persons to whom she related them, and with great seeming pity for +those whose reputation they were intended to destroy. She had likewise +the malicious cunning to say many trifling things in praise of the +objects of her censure; that by thus assuming an appearance of the +strictest impartiality, and of the sincerest good nature, she might +more easily gain credit to the bad things she said afterwards. By such +artifices as these she frequently succeeded with the innocent and the +unwary, and set one acquaintance and even one friend against another, +without any sort of advantage to herself but the mere pleasure of +making mischief. Another trick which she often employed for that +purpose, was to examine into a young gentleman or lady's constitutional +foibles (for we all have some) and when she had discovered these, to go +immediately to the person and tell him or her, that master or miss +<i>such a one</i> had publickly ridiculed him for those very failings; +by these means she was almost certain to be believed without any +farther inquiry; for every one, even upon the slightest hint, will +readily suspect that those things have been said of him, which he most +wishes to be concealed, because he is conscious they are <i>really</i> +true; he will seldom trouble himself to inquire into the veracity of +the tale bearer, lest he should be reduced to the necessity of +defending himself on his weakest side. For a similar reason, when Miss +<i>Abigail</i> had a mind to flatter any person (which she frequently +<img src="images/022.jpg" alt="A man standing, facing a seated woman" width="500" height="429" hspace="20" vspace="20" align="right">would, to answer the purposes of her malice) she always commended him +for those particular good qualities, or accomplishments which she knew +he most valued himself for, or chiefly wished to have the credit of; +because she was sensible that by this method she effectually retained +his own vanity as her advocate for whatever she said afterwards. Nay, I +have been informed by one who knew her perfectly well, that, young as +she was, she sometimes carried her artifice so far as to begin a +dispute with the person she intended to deceive, and after a little +sharp altercation <i>pro and con</i> to flatter his vanity by gradually +giving up the argument, and at last yielding him a +victory, which gave him the more pleasure, because he thought it to be +entirely owing to the invincible strength of his judgment. But she had +another fault, which, if possible, was still more odious, than any of +those already mentioned—viz. to revile and backbite those from whom +she had received the greatest favours; for as she was too proud to own +herself to be under obligations to any person, so to prevent others +from taking notice of them, as she imagined to her disadvantage, she +would represent every obligation she had received from her friends to +<img src="images/023.jpg" alt="Two standing women facing each other" width="500" height="426" hspace="20" vspace="20" align="left">be either of the most trifling consequence, or to have been bestowed +from selfish and despicable motives. Such was the temper and behaviour +of Miss <i>Abigail</i>, who was a wretched complication of malice, low +cunning and ingratitude: It is therefore no wonder that every person of +sense and character was careful to avoid her company, +and that she was detested by many, and despised even by those who +wished her well. In short, the general contempt to which she had +exposed herself, and the severe mortifications she met with from time +to time, gave such killing wounds to her pride, that after pining and +wasting +away with shame and vexation for the space of several months, she at +last broke her heart and gave up the ghost, in the seventeenth year of +her age. After her death her contemptible soul was immediately hurried +into the body of this venomous serpent, where it still retains its +former malice and cunning."—When the Bramin had finished his story, +<img src="images/024.jpg" alt="A woman standing by a canopy bed and a woman in the bed" width="500" height="409" hspace="20" vspace="20" align="right">the serpent, as if she understood and resented what had been said, +writhed about and hissed at him as if she could have stung his eyes +out. +</p> + +<p> +We afterwards visited several other apartments, and saw a young tyger, +a fox, a badger, &c. each of which was animated by the soul of some +naughty child, who very nearly resembled him in temper. But as I have +perhaps, already carried my treatise to such a length as will tire the +eyes and the patience of my little readers, it is proper to bring it to +a conclusion. I will, therefore, take my leave of them for the present, +with observing that in one of the rooms we visited, we saw a pretty +little parrot, in a gilt cage, who was perpetually talking, but did not +understand the meaning of one single word he said. "This noisy bird, +said the good Bramin, is inhabited by the soul of the late master +<i>Gabble</i>, who was remarkable for two faults. He always spoke +without thinking, and read a great deal with so little attention, that +he made no farther improvement in knowledge than if he had never read +at all. He devoured every thing, but digested nothing." If any of my +readers happen to be of the same disposition, they may survey the gilt +covers of this little treatise with as much advantage as they will +peruse the contents of it. +</p> + +<br> +<h3> +FINIS. +</h3> + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Vice in its Proper Shape, by Anonymous + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK VICE IN ITS PROPER SHAPE *** + +***** This file should be named 26379-h.htm or 26379-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/2/6/3/7/26379/ + +Produced by Mark C. 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