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diff --git a/26335.txt b/26335.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..95c10b4 --- /dev/null +++ b/26335.txt @@ -0,0 +1,7962 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Brite and Fair, by Henry A. Shute + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Brite and Fair + +Author: Henry A. Shute + +Illustrator: Worth Brehm + +Release Date: August 17, 2008 [EBook #26335] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BRITE AND FAIR *** + + + + +Produced by Bill Haller + + + + + +BRITE and FAIR + +BY +HENRY A. SHUTE +Author of "The Real Diary of a Real Boy" + + +ILLUSTRATED BY +WORTH BREHM + +Cosmopolitan Book Corporation +New York MCMXX + +Copyright, 1920 by +Cosmopolitan Book Corporation +All Rights Reserved, including that of translation +into foreign languages, including +the Scandinavian +Printed in U.S.A. + +BRITE AND FAIR + +June 2th, 186---sunday nite. i have been to chirch +and sunday school today, not to the unitarial. we +are going to the congrigasional now becaus Keene +and Cele are singing in the quire. so we go there. +i had ruther go to the unitarial becaus Beany and +Pewt go there. Beany blows the organ and sumtimes +he peeks out behine the organ and maiks a +feerful face and maiks everybody laff. once Beany +he thummed his nose to old Chipper Burly. Chipper +he was the sunday school supperintendent and was +beeting time for the scholers to sing and Chipper +he tirned round quick and see Beany, and Chipper +he jest hipered into the organ log and grabed Beany +by the coler and yanked him out of the lof and +wauked him out of the chirch. then he got Micky +Goold to blow the organ and Beany he lost his gob +for 2 sundays, but Micky went to sleep 2 or 3 times +and snoared feerful and they had to waik him up +and once he hollered rite out loud. so Mickey he +lost his gob and they got Beany back. They tride +Pewt and then Game Ey Watson, Beanys brother +but they was wirse than Micky. so they hired +Beany. he is the best and only lets the wind out +one or two times every sunday and the organ sounds +like a goos but that aint so bad as going to sleep +and hollering goldarn it lemme alone is it? + +we had a new minister today, miser Larned has +gone away for all summer. the new minister +preeched about not killing flise and buggs and wirms +and bumbelbeas and yeller jacket hornits. he sed +they had a rite to live jest as mutch as peeple and +we hadent augt to kill them. i spose it is all rite +to let a muskeeter or flee or one of them 3 cornered +flise that hangs round a swimmin hole bite you +terrible and not even yip. how about bedbugs. + +June 3, 186---today is washing day and i had +to lug about a million pales of water for old mis +Dire, Sams mother whitch comes over mondays. +her hands is all sriveled up they has been in hot +water so mutch. mother she sed that was the reason +when i asted her and father he laffed and sed he +had been in hot water all his life and he wasent +sriveled a bit. mother she laffed two. father aint +sriveled for he weigs 214 lbs. i gess he dident meen +that kind of hot water eether. i am tired most to +deth tonite. + +June 4, 186---brite and fair. i went fishing today +with Potter Goram in the morning and was going +again in the afternoon but i dident get home in +time to help them flap flise out of the dining room +and mother woodent let me go to pay me for being +lait. darn it. every day we have to flap flise out +of the dining room. we all grab our flapers and +begin to flap from one end of the room to the other +flaping them into the kitchen. then we shet the doors +and keep them out. it is fun flaping for most always +i can give Keene a good bat in the ear with +a flaper when she aint looking. then she gives me +one on the snoot and then we jest go at it til mother +stops us. she maiks us take tirns now. ferst it is +me and Cele and then it is Cele and Keene. it is +never me and Keen any more. mother says we +fite enuf without fiting when there is china and +crockery and glass round and things to eat two. +ennyway it is tuf on Cele to have to do it all the +time becaus she is good and dont fite. + +i told mother what old mister minister sed and +mother she sed that if old mister minister had to +fite flise for every mossel of food he et she gessed +he woodent say mutch about not killing them. Aunt +Sarah she sed so two. flise is wirse this summer. +we have got a new set of fli screnes. little ones for +the butter plates, bigger ones for the sass plates +and some grate big ones for the meat plates and the +cake basket. we had to get them becaus the old +ones was woar out and i took the big one and kept +a young robin in nearly a week and mother maid +me let him go and never wood use the screne again. +we tride to have muzlin screnes to the wiinders but +the cat and the dog jumped through them if the +doors was shet. mother says she dont know what +she will do if the flise get enny wirse. + +June 5, 186---it raned last nite. brite and fair +today. it raned hard and the sidewalks was filed +with pudles of water. me and Beany had lots of +fun spatering peeple. the way we do it is this. +when we see sum peeple waulking on the sidewaulks +we run by them fast and stamp hard in the pudles +and the water spaters all over them. we dont do +it to wimmen and girls. but we do to men and +fellers. it is lots of fun to hear them sware. Beany +got 2 bats in the ear and a kick and i got 3 bats +in the ear and 2 kicks. so i beat Beany. one of the +kicks was a peeler. ennyway we had lots of fun. + +today all the fellers and girls got a letter from +old mister minister and it had in it a peace of +poetry like this + + do you know how menny flise fli about in the warm sun + how menny fishes in the water + god has counted eevry one + every one he called by naim + when into the wirld it caime. + +there was a lot moar to it but i aint got no time to +wright enny moar of such stuf as that. i showed +it to mother and she said when he got older peraps +he wood know moar. + +June 6, 186---clowdy today. jest the day to go +fishing but i had to ho in the garden. if it had raned +i coodent ho the beans becaus if you ho when it is +wet they will be all covered with black specks like +Whacker Chadwick had when he had the measles. +i have et them like that and they taist jest like those +yeller spots in creem tarter bisquit when it gets way +in a corner of your mouth up under your ear on the +inside and you cant reech it with a drink of water. +ennyway it dident rane and i had to ho whitch is +jest my luck. mother let me go at 4 oh clock to +go in swimming with the Chadwicks and Potter and +Skinny Bruce. we had sum fun tying gnots in +Skinnys shert sleev. we bet Skinny coodent swim +across under water and while he was doing it we +wet his shert sleves and tide hard gnots in them. +Skinny coodent unty them becaus he aint got enny +front teeth. most of the fellers can unty gnots +eesy with their teeth but Skinny had to go home +with his shert tide around his neck and his jacket +buttened up tite. + +the 3 cornered flise has come and bit Skinny +terrible while he was trying to get into his shert. +i hollered oh Skinny, do you know how meny flise +fli about in the warm sun and Skinny he up and +chased me as far as Gilmans barn and wood have +chased me further but he hadent enny shert on. +i guess if the old minister had heard Skinny sware +he woodent have sed mutch more about flise. + +June 7, 186---brite and fair. not mutch today. +tonite the band played in the band room. Ed Tilton +has got a new basehorn. it is auful shiny and almost +as long as he is. Potsy Dirgin played a fife. father +says peraps i can have a fife some day but a cornet +costs two much money. they played a new march +and a peace that mother said was a romanse from +leeclare. mother used to play it. i asked her where +leeclare was and she sed it was a mans name. Cele +can hear a band peace once and play it on the piano +jest as good as they can. i can whistle it all rite but +she can put in the alto and the treble and the base +jest like it is rote. + +June 8, 186---brite and fair. not mutch today +only swiming and playing base ball and a fite down +town whitch old Swain and old Kize the poliseman +stoped. tonite we all have to take a bath in the tub +in the kichen. Mother maiks me use soft sope. +the others use casteel sope but mother says soft +sope is the only thing that will get me cleen. it +stings terrible when it gets into a cut or a soar place. +after a feler has been stang with soft sope in a cut +on his hand or on his leg with a nail or a peace of +glass or a tin can he dont care mutch for anything +but a yeller jakit hornit. i had to lug all the water +for the tub and i had to fill it with fresh water for +every one of us. they aint enny sense in that. onct +wood have been enuf. twict wood ennyway. + +June 9, 186---Sunday again brite and fair it is +always brite and fair sundays so fellers has to go +to chirch. last nite when Keene was going to bed +we heard sum feerful screaches in her room. mother +and aunt Sarah just hipered upstairs thinking Keene +had tiped over the lamp and was burning to deth +and both hollering for mecy sakes what is the matter. +nothing was the matter only a dorbugg had +flew into her hair and stuck there and scart her most +to deth. mother said she had augt to be ashaimed +of herself. mother give me the dorbugg and i am +going to put it down Beanys back. i bet Beany will +gump. + +Beany come to our chirch today. they wasnt +eny chirch at the unitarial. in sunday school Beany +spoke a peace about a fli. it said god made the little +fli but if you crush it it will die and then he set +down. the rest of us laffed but the minister told us +it was the best peace of all and it showed that +Elbridge, that is Beany you know, was kind to flise +and insex of all kinds and if we was all like +Elbridge, Beany you know, the wirld woodent have +as mutch mizzery in it. we was all mad with Beany +for showing off and we were going to lam him one +after school let out. he cought a big bumbelbea +whitch had flew in to the window and took sum +wax and hitched a long white thread to the +bumbelbea and let him go and he flew all over the chirch +with that long white thread hanging down like a +kite tail. everybody laffed and the girls screemed +and ducked there heads down and the minister tride +a long while to ketch the bumblelbea and finely he +cought it by the thred and it clim up the thred and +stang him and he sed drat the pesky thing and +snaped his fingers and the bea flew out of the window. +then the minister sed it was natural for the +bea to be scart only he sed terrorfide whitch meens +the saim, and it dident know who was befrending it. +but it was crool to tie a string to him and the boy +whitch done it wood suffer. enny way he sed you +woodent do it wood you Elbridge and Beany he +sed no sir. then Beany he went behine the organ +and we sung oh how happy are we all in our little +sunday school and Beany let the wind out of the +organ 2 times. so we aint going to lam Beany. +ennyway the ministers thum is all swole up. + +June 10, 186---i put the dorbugg down Beanys +back. you aught to heard him holler. + +June 11, 186---rany and cold. a big black ant +has got 2 nippers and can bite like time. i am going +to put one down Beanys back some day. + +June 11, 186---the cat drank sum fli poison today +and dide. we are going to have some fli paper after +this. father says all you got to do is to get sum pich +and spred it on brown paper and the flise will get +their hine legs all stuck up on it and die. so +tomorrow i am going down to the sawmill and scraip +a lot of pich off the ends of the logs. + +June 12, 186---brite and fair. today i scraiped +a lot of pich off the logs and then took it home and +tonite father warmed it until it was all runny and +spred it on a lot of sheets of brown linen. it was +awful sticky, i bet it wood hold a cat, then befoar +we went to bed he put 1 in the kitchen sink and 2 on +the table and 2 on the dining room table and 2 in +the setting room, and he hung one up over the sink +to kech flise on the wall. well in the middle of the +nite i heard awful swareing down stairs and heard +father hollering for mother to come down. i set up +and lissened. i gnew it wasent berglers for father +cood nock the stuffing out of enny bergler and if it +was i gnew he woodent let mother come down where +they was dainger. so i lissened and oh time how +father was swareing. i never heard enny such +swareing in my life, and father aint a swareing man. + +then i heard mother begin to laff. then i gnew it +was all right. so i lissened. then i heard father say +for god's sake get the sizzers and cut this damn linen +off my head, and mother sed keep still and stop +swareing, and father he sed, i have got to keep still +for i am all stuck up and i had augt to be aloud to +sware. then he laffed. then mother she said i am +afrade i shall have to cut off most of your hair, and +father he sed get hold of the end of it and yank +quick. then i heard him say why dont you pull +a poor cusses head off and she sed i gess i have +jugging by the looks of this linen. it is all covered +with hair. then i heard her cutting with sizzers and +then he sed it is lucky i came down in my shert tale +if i had been dressed i wood have had to go to bed +tomorrow until you went down town to by me a +new sute. you see father had gone down for a +drink of water in the dark and had got into the fli +paper. father had augt to know better than to do +that becaus once he drunk sum water out of a dipper +in the pale in the dark and the nex morning he +found my squirrel drowneded in the pale and he +never gnew whether it was drownded before he +drank or after he drunk and it made him sick to +wonder whitch was whitch. well after a while father +and mother come up stairs again, i cood hear Keene +and Cele gigling in there room and i wanted to +holler do you know how many flise fli about in the +warm sun but i dident dass to. this morning mother +sed that father he sed he forgot all about the drink +of water and dident get it but we aint going to +have enny more fli paper round the house. it was +wirse than having a poliseman with handcufs and +twisters. + +June 13, 186---i am having awful tuf luck with +my hens this year. Miss Dires cat cougt 8 of my +chickings this week. i went over to tell her about +it and have her pay for the chickings and she sed +how did i know it was her cat and i sed it was a +old yeller cat that she had for 2 or 3 years and i +see it runing with a chicking in its mouth. then +she sed it wasent her cat and i sed all right i am +going to kill it with a rock and she sed you better +not kill it if you know what is good for you and i +sed what do you care if it aint your cat and she +sed i will maik it mine if you kill it and you will +wish you was ded if you kill it. so i went home. +then Nellie steped on my best hen whitch was +scraching behine her in the stall and squashed her +almost as flat as a doremat. enny way i have got +to do sumthing about that cat. i wonder what old +mister minister wood do if a cat killed his chickings. +i supose he wood say it is rong to kill a cat and that +a cat had as mutch rite to live as---as---well as old +Mis Dire. + +June 14, 186---2 chickings gone today. i let a +rock ding at the cat and jest missed her. i wish i +had a bull dog. + +June 15, 186---went in swiming today. 3 times. +The 3 cornered flise are auful and bit like time. i +squashed lots of them and they wont fli about in +the warm sun enny more. I dont cair. me and +Pewt are going to set a trap for the cat. Pewt can +make bully box traps. if he ketches the cat i am +going to give him my collexion of birds egs. it is +werth it. i aint got menny chickings left. + +June 16, 186---brite and fair of course. it always +is sunday. i went to chirch sunday and to sunday +school. i wanted to go to the Unitarial but father he +sed no i wood go where he told me to or i coodent +go at all. i thought i had got him there and i sed +all rite i will stay to home and he sed all rite you +can stay to home and stay in bed. so i thougt i had +better go to chirch and i sed all rite i will go to +chirch. i told him as long as we had got a phew in +both chirches someone augt to set in it once in a +while. the minister is going to get up a club to +study insex throug the telescope and to lern us about +their ways. he said beas have queans and droans +and aunts have a government and keeps cows. i +wonder if he xpects us to beleeve that. and flees can +be traned to ride a vellosipede but he dident know +that if you ketch a big grashoper and say grashoper +gashoper gray give me sum molasses and then fli +away the grashoper will give you some molasses. +just think he dident know that and he dident know +that ef you squashed a caterpiller it would rane +before nite. we have all got to join the club. i wish +i had staid in bed. + +tonite Pewt come over with a big box trap and +we set it in the hen coop and left the dore open. +i bet we will ketch her. we bated it with a peace of +pikerel. + +June 17, 186---Gosh what do you think. we have +caugt that cat. this morning i went to the hencoop +and the trap was sprung. when i shook it a little i +cood hear the old cat growl and spitt. so i nailed +the cover down so he coodent get out and gess what +we done with him. tonite after dark we carried the +box to the deepo and put him on the nite fraight +trane for Haverhill. nobody see us. we wated till +the trane started and then went home. Pewt wanted +to drownd the old cat but i thougt if we did i wood +have to lie about it and while i can lie good if i +have to i had ruther not. and it wood be eesier to +say i dident know ehere the cat was peraps it wood +be in Haverhill and peraps in Boston. + +June 18, 186---brite and fair. Gosh what do you +think. the first thing i see this morning was that +old cat setting on Mis Dires steps. i thougt she must +have comeway back from Haverhill but after breckfast +old mother Moulton come over and asted me +if i had seen her cat. she was terrible xcited and +asted me more than 40 questions but i dident know +ennything. Pewt come down and sed she had been +to his house and to Beanys and all over the naborhood. +gosh i bet we caugt her cat and sent it away. +ennyway what rite had her old cat in my hencoop. + +tonite me and Pewt set a new trap and bated it +with a fresh sucker. i have got to get the old yeller +cat. one more chickling disapeared to day. + +June 19, 186---it raned hard last nite. i gess cats +staid to home and dident go out. this morning the +trap wasent spring. had to ho in the garden after +it dride up. toniet we put a big shiner in the trap +for bate. + +June 20, 186---we cogt that old cat today. i know +it was her this time becaus when the cover come +down it pinched her tale and there was a bunch of +yeller hair in front of the trap. tonite we put the +trap on the fraight trane and that is the last of +that old cat. old mother Moulton is still hunting +for her cat. i wonder if the 2 cats will know eech +other when they meet in Haverhill. i xpect mis +Dire will be over tomorrow to find out where her +old cat is. i dont know where she is. i havent hit +her or killed her and i dont know what has become +of her. + +June 21, 186---brite and fair. today i saw that +old cat again. i wonder whose cat we cought. i had +to pay Pewt 10 cents for his traps. we set another +for tonite. + +June 22, 186---awful hot today. i dident ketch +that cat. i went fishing today for some cat bate. +went in swimming 5 times. got some good shiners. +i have found out whose cat we sent to Haverhill +the last time. there was a peace in the Exeter +News-Letter whitch sed. lost a valuble black and +yeller striped tiger cat. a grate pet. had on a red +satin bow. a suteable reward will be paid for +infirmation as to whareabouts. A. P. Blake. gosh A. +P. Blake is Mager Blake who owns the Squamscot +Hotel. I know that cat. i wish me and Pewt +gnew some peeple in Haverhill peraps we cood get +the reward. tonite i paid Pewt another ten cents +and we set another trap. i wonder whose cat we +will get nex time. + +June 23, 186---brite and fair, i never knew it to +rane sunday. cougt another, dont know whose cat +it is. if we open the cover the cat will gump out and +if we dont sum body elces cat may get sent Haverhill. +ennyway enny cat whitch is cougt in my hencoop +has got to take chances. + +tonite we sent it away on the trane. we almost +got cougt putting it on. went to chirch and sunday +school. Beany has got his gob back at the unitarial +and has went back there, so there wasent enny fun. +i heard old Mis Dire calling her cat tonite for most +an hour. i guess we got that old cat at last. + +June 24, 186---Mis Dire was calling her cat this +morning. she come and did the washing today but +she dident say ennything about her cat but i think +she was uneezy and she looked at me sort of hard. +i bet she thinks i have killed her cat. + +June 25, 186-- today old Mis Dire come over. i +was in the shed and i saw her go waulking stiflegged. +after a minit or too mother called me. i pertended +i dident hear her and kept on spliting wood, then +she come out and told me old Mis Dire sed i killed +her cat and wanted to ast me some questions and +mother sed now if you have killed her cat tell the +truth. i sed i anit killed it or hit it or drowneded +it and i dont know where it is. so we went in. old +Mis Dire was there mad as time and she sed now +Harry Shute i want to know what you have did with +my cat and if you lie to me, then mother sed +quick ome moment Misses Dire if you are going to +ast him enny questions you have got to do it in a +different way if you xpect enny anser. mother she +looked at old Mis Dire and old Mis Dire looked at +mother mad as time but mother had a kind of funny +look in her eyes not a mad look but a kind of look +that made old Mis Dire back water prety quick. +then old Mis Dire sed you throwed a rock at my +cat last week and i sed yes i did and i wish i had +hit hir and killed her but i dident. then she said +you and that misable Watson boy and that jalebird +of a Purinton boy have drowned my cat and i sed +i dont know about them but i dont beleve they done +it becaus they dident have enny chickings but hope +to die and cross my throte i havent seen your cat or +hit your cat or drowned your cat and i dont know +where she is i honest dont. old Mis Dire asted me +more than 40 questions and after a while she went +home. she was pretty grumpy and sed sumbody +had got to pay for her cat but i guess she desided +i dident know ennything about it. she went over +to Pewts and to Beanys but dident find out ennything. + +Mother she was glad i told the truth and i did +dident i? i dident hit her old cat, or killed it or +drowned it or see it and i dont know where it is. +mother told father about it when he come home +from Boston and father sed dam her old cat. i +wont have you bothered about her old cat. i wood +have told her to go to the devel. mother laffed and +sed no you woodent George you wood have felt bad +and pitted her as i did. she is a poar old woman +and it is two bad for ennyone to kill her pet cat. +ennyway that is over and i aint got to wurry over +my chickings enny more. i wish i dassed tell father +about it but i am afraid father wood tell mother for +a goke and if mother dident think it was rite she +wood make me go to Haverhill or Boston and hunt +for them 3 old cats. father i know wood laff his +head off but i dassent tell him. 3 old cats sounds +like a base ball game dont it. ennyway me and Pewt +made 3 home runs dident we. + +June 26, rany. dident do ennything today. + +June 27, 186---i havent wrote ennything about +school becaus i dident like school and dident like to +think about it. the fellers is all rite and we have +sum fun playing base ball and foot ball and corram +and duck on a rock and nigger baby. but we have +to study like time and they aint hardly enny fites +becaus if 2 fellers has a fite old Francis licks time +out of them and recess aint very interestin if they +aint enny fites. school closes tomorrow and i am so +glad i dont know what to do. i gess old Francis +wanted to celibrait today for he licked 9 fellers. +Skipy Moses for paisting Medo Thirsten in the eye +with a spit ball and Chitter Robinson for not +singing in tune and he cant if he wanted to so what is the +sence of licking him i dont see and Pewt for putting +a carpit tack in Pheby Taylors seat. Pheby he is a +feller you know and when he set on it he gumped +up lively and let out a yell. Pheby dident tell he +aint that kind of a feller but old Francis seamed to +know it was Pewt and snached him bald headed in +two minits and Whacker Chadwick for wrighting a +note to a girl and Pozzy Chadwick for maiking up a +face at him when he was licking Whack and Bug +Chadwick for telling him to stop when he was licking +Pozzy. the Chadwicks all got licked the same +day. it aint the ferst time eether by a long chork +and Skinny Bruce for drawing sumthing on the +school house fence that hadent aught to be drew and +Pacer Gooch for calling Gran Miller a nigger and he +is a nigger whitch dont seem rite to me and Human +Nudd, his name is Harman but we call him Human +for wrighting with a squeaky slate pensil. he hadent +enny other. i gess old Francis gnew this was his +last day for licking for he never licks on Xibition +day but is as nice as pye. + +June 28, 186---Gosh school is over. i cant hardly +beleeve it. lots of peeple come in today and of +course all the good boys and girls spoke peaces and +direlogs and done xamples on the blackboard. Huh +i am glad i am not a good scholar and a faveret of +the teecher. last of all we give old Francis a silver +pensil on a chane. the wirst of it was i had to +chip in ten cents. the Chadwicks give a dollar. +Whack sed that if he had gnew that they were all +3 going to be licked yesterday they wood have spent +the dollar and woodent have given nothing. they +needed that dollar two. ennyway school is out till +September hurray. + + + +June 29st. i just took it eezy to-day. the ferst +day of vacation always seams to me like when +you find a five cent peace in a pair of your last years +britches. you can spend it for ennything you want +and you havent got to save it or put it in your bank +or by sumthing that you need. so yesterday after +school closed i split up wood enuf for today and +sunday, and today i just dident do nothing. a man +and 2 wimen hired my boat and wanted me to row +them up river but i told them i had a weak arm. + +one of the wimen said poar boy what is the matter +with it and i sed it dident know but it trubles me a +good deal. then the other one sed whitch arm is it +and i sed the right one and she sed you must be +lefthanded and i sed yes i am a little. i lied about +that but i dident lie about my week arm or about +my truble with it. both my arms is week. if they +wasent i cood lick Pewt and it trubles me becaus my +arms is so skinny. the fellers laff at my legs two. + +well the man hired my boat and i went with them +and the man rew all the way and i had a good time +only i had to be cairful to keep my right hand in +my jacket pocket most of the time and point out +things to them with my left hand. ennyway i cood +row with one hand better than that man cood +with too. he splashed and cougt crabs and once +his heels went up and he went rite over on his back +the wimen laffed and he laffed two. + +June 30, 186---brite and fair. i gnew it wood be. +we had a new minister today. old mister minister +preeched sumwhere elce but he come back in the +afternoon to sunday school and started his club. +everybody had to join. most of the fellers dident +want to. Chick Chickering says he is glad he dont +go to our chirch becaus if he did he coodent colect +enny more butterflise and kill them with ether and +stick them in a box with a pin. Chicks father is a +minister two and he goes fishing and birdseging +and butterfliing with Chick. i am glad my father +isent a minster but if he was i wood want him to be +like Chick Chickerings father. Gosh i always laff +when i think of father being a minister. + +he woodent be getting up clubs to save the lifes +of flise and snaiks and intch wirms and moth millers +and cockroches, but he wood gnock enny feller pizzle +end upwards that raised time in chirch. today we +had to a sine a book and pay five cents and promise +not to take the life of animal or bird or reptil or insex. + +Pop Clark asked what a feller had augt to do if a +mad dog come down the street fomeing at the mouth +and biting and taring rite and lef, or if a poizen +adder or ratlesnaik coiled round your hine leg. the +minister sed if it caim to be a question of the life of +a human being or of an animal or a reptil of coarse +the life of a human being shood be spaired. so he +has got sum sence but not mutch. + +June 31, 186---i ment July 1, brite and fair. hoap +it wont rane on the 4th. jest as soon as vacation +comes i have a lot of gobs to do. spliting wood and +going errands and cleening out the cellers and the +barn and wirking in the garden. i woder what +peeple think a vacation is for. i try to do evrything +mother wants becaus in 3 days it will be the 4th. + +July 2, 186---only 1 day after this before the 4th. +i went up to Pewts today. he has borowed Harris +Cobbs cannon. it is an old lunker. Pewt says if +you put in six fingers of powder and wads and then +fill it to the muzle with grass and ram it tite it will +shaik the winders all over town. + +July 3, 186---tomorrow is the 4th. i am going to +get up at 3 oh clock. father says that is the erliest +and if i get up one minit before that i wont go out +at all. it seams to me 3 oh clock is prety lait. sum +of the fellers stay out all nite. + +July 5. brite and fair. i was so tired last nite that +i coodent wright. i dident go to bed until nearly +leven and i got up at 3 oh clock. it was the best 4th +i ever had. Pewt's cannon xploded the ferst time. +we loded it to the muzle and put the muzle rite +agenst the stone step of old Nat Weeks house. then +we lit the fusee and run. i gess it is lucky we done +it for there was a feerful bang and a big flash jest +like when litening strikes a tree rite in front of your +house and a big hunk of that cannon went rite +throug old Bill Greenleafs parlor winder and took +sash and all and gnocked a glass ship in a gloab that +the glassblewers blowed into forty million peaces +and gnocked a big hunk out of the marbel top table +and sent the things on the whatnot all over the room. + +Bill he come downstairs in his shert tale and +hollered and swore so you cood hear him fer eigt miles +eesy. me and Pewt and Beany hid behine Pewts +fathers paint shop and lissened. Nat Weeks he +come out and old printer Smith and old Bill Morrill. +Old Ike Shute dident. i gess he dident dass to. we +cood hear them talking it over and cood hear Bill +holler and sware and Bills wife say mersy sakes +aint this dredful. they thogt it must have been did +by Flunk Ham and Chick Randall or the Warren +boys, all big fellers becaus they sed it must be big +fellers to have sutch a big cannon. so me and Pewt +and Beany clim over Fifields back fence and went +down town throug Spring street. + +Beany set fire to a bunch of fire crackers in his +poket and birnt him so he can only sit down on one +side. Fatty Melcher stumped Pewt to hold a +firecracker in his mouth and let it go off. it is eezy +enuf. all you have got to do is to put the end +between your teeth and lite the other end and shet +your eys. it will go off and burst in the middle and +all you will get is a few sparks that dont hurt mutch. +but this one was a flusher and it flushed at the end +whitch was in Pewts mouth and a stream of sparks +went rite down Pewts gozzle. you would have +dide to see Pewt spitt and holler and drink water. +he drank most a gallon and he wont speak to me +becaus laffed. + +All the Chadwicks got birned when they was blowing +up old Buzell's fence posts, they was lots of +fites down town and a house on Franklin Street and +a barn on Stratam road birned up. it was the +best 4th i ever gnew. Father sed about 2 more 4ths +and he wood go out of bisiness. + +i sed 2 4ths is eigt and he sed dont you try to be +funny. if you do you will get a bat in the ear. so +i shet up. when father says that it is about time +to shet up. + +July 6, brite and fair. saterday again. it is +funny when i am in school i am crasy for it to be +saterday but when it is vacation i hate to have +saterday come. it means 2 things that aint very +good. one is that another weak of vacation has +gone and the other is that the next day is sunday +both of whitch is prety tuf. tonite me and father +went in swimming at the gravil. we had a good +swim and then we floted down river. it was warm +and the treetoads was crokeing and a peewee was +peeweeing high up in a elm tree and bats was fliing +and it was fine. evry now and then a fish wood +splash or a mushrat dive. + +when we got home all the folks was setting on +the front steps and we got talking about the +doodlebug club. father he calls it that. father sed they +aint no fool like a dam fool and sed that once when +he was in school his teecher old Ellis the father of +Rody Ellis that i went to school to used to paist +time out of the fellers jest for nothing. so the +fellers they got prety sick of it and one day Jim +Melcher and of coarse father, he and Jim Melcher +always went together and Charles Taylor two +and Oliver Lane and 2 or 3 others went out and +batted down about a pint of bumblebeas with shingles. +they got stang 2 or 3 times a peace but no +feller minds being stang in a good caus. so the +next day they went to school erly and poured all +them ded beas in his old lether seat. + +well old Ellis come in and rung the bell and sed +prair and paisted time out of 2 or 3 fellers for +exercise and toar the sherts off 2 or 3 others for old +acquantence saik so father sed and then he set down +hard in his chair and more than forty of the stings +of them ded bumblebeas riggid in deth so father +sed ran rite into him. well he let out a yell you +cood have heard at Hampton Beach and gumped + +rite over his desk and run out of the school house +howling and holding hisself in both hands and +sweling up feerful in grate aggony. and father he +sed he was stang in forty seven places and swole up +so that they had to get old killpigger Haley i mean +pig killer Haley to get his briches off with a +skining knife. + +i wonder if old mister minister wood like +bumblebeas if we done that to him. + +July 7, rany as time. i thought i woodent have +to go to chirch but what do you think it cleered up +and the sun come out a hour before chirch. how is +that for tuf luck. + +July 8, rany not hard but drissly. i wood have +went fishing today but there was a thunder shower +this morning and fish wont bite after thunder but +go down in deep holes and lay still. this afternoon +we had the meating of the club. the minister talked +lots and ansered questions. i asted him if we had +aught to tare down spiders webs becaus they kiled +flise. he sed yes then i asted him if the spider +woodent starve to deth if he coodent ketch flise. +then he sed spiders was sumtimes poizinus and i +asted him if he had ever been bit by a horsefli. then +we had speeking and Beany spoke his peace about + + god made the little fli + but if you crush it it will die + +and then my sister Cele spoke the peace + + do you know how meeny flise + fli about in the warm sun + +and the minister clapt his hands and we all did two. + +then Tomtit Thompson sed he had a new peace +about insex and the minister asted him to speak it +and Tomtit dident want to, but the minister sed he +had aught to be willing to help out in a good caus. +Tomtit he sed he was afrade the minister woodent +like it but the minister sed he was very sure he +wood like it and so Tomtit he stood up and made a +bow and sed his peace and it was jest bully. + + now i lay me down to sleep + while the bedbugs round me creap + if one should bite before i waik + i hope to god his jaw will braik + +and what do you think the minister he got mad and +told Tommy he was a bran from the birning and a +apostate. i thought they wasent but 12 apostates +ever and wasent enny now but that is what he called +Tommy and he throwed him out of the club by the +ear, wisht it had been me. + +Well after Tommy had went the minister talked +to us about how wicked it was for Tommy to use +the name of god in sutch a conexion. I asted him +why it was wicked to use it in conexion with a +bedbugg when it wasent wicked to use it in conexion +with a fli like Beanys peace and my sister Celes and +he sed one was used in the spirrit of love and the +other in the spirrit of hate. then we sung a hynm +and went home. i wish i was Tomtit Thompson. + +July 9, 186---brite and fair. gosh what do you +think. the committy of the chirch came to our +house today and asted mother if she wood have the +minister to supper as it was her tirn. mother sed +certenly i wood be very glad to entertain him. after +the committee left i sed gosh mother you told a +awful whacker to them old wimmen when you sed +you wood be glad to do it dident you. mother she +laffed and sed peraps it woodent be as deliteful as it +mite be but she wood try hard to be glad to do it +and if i wood do my part and all the rest wood we +cood give him a good supper and it woodent hurt +us to do it. so we have all got to duff in. + +July 10, it is going to be a weak from Friday nite +that the minister is coming. Friday nite is the nite +they have prair meeting and he will have to go prety +soon after supper so he wont be there very long. +aunt Sarah she sed what if he invites us to go and +mother she sed she gessed father wood have a prety +good xcuse ready. she never gnew him to fale. +mother sed that 10 days wood give her time to get +ready. we have all got to wirk. then mother sed +she wood have to warn father not to say ennything +tuf and warn the children not to speak when the +minister was saying grace and not to notice the new +napkins and thing like that and that she had got +to sweep evry room and wash all the winders and +rub up the silver and the caster and the caik baskit. + +when father come hom tonite mother she told him +about having the minister to supper and father sed +gosh what for. and mother she sed George that is +a nice way to speak about a minister and father he +sed why can't you let me take him down to old Eph +Cuttlers and get him a stake and sum fride potatoes +and about 4 fingers of fusil oil whiskey and it wood +do him a pile of good. mother she sed i am ashaimed +of you George for talking so. why cant you take +it serius and father he sed it is serius ennuf and i +am trying not to burst into teers over it. honest if +you wood let me take him to Hirveys resterant it +wood save you a lot of truble. but mother sed no +we must do our part and father he sed gosh he +suposed so but it was tuf. then father he sed i +suppose you wont dast to bat out the flise if he +comes. then Beany hollered for me and i dident +hear eny more. + +July 11, brite and fair. i have got an idea. me +and Pewt and Beany are goin to talk it over tonite. +we are going to have chicken and gelly and hot +bisquit and custereds and cold ham and cookys and +whips and lots of other things for supper friday +nite. Keene and Cele are going to sing shall we +gather at the river and theres a chirch in the valley +by the wild wood. father wanted them to sing little +brown gug how i love thee and we'll all drink stone +blind when Johnny comes marching home and Sally +come up Sally come down Sally come twist your +heal around the old man has gone to town Sally +come up in the middle but mother sed no they must +sing good chirch songs. + +July 12, Keene and Cele and i washed the winders +upstairs today. i had to lug about 2 million pales +of water. i asted mother what was the use of +washing the upstairs winders for him as he wasent +going to stay over nite. father he sed if we fed him +two mutch he mite have the collick and have to be +put to bed and perhaps stay 2 weaks. he sed we +must be cairful and not feed him to hy. + +July 13, brite and fair, we washed the downstairs +winders today. darn the minister ennyway. + +July 14, brite and fair of coarse. sunday went to +chirch of coarse, also sunday school. more tuf +luck. the minister cant come Friday but will come +Thirsday so he will have a hoal evening with us. +gosh. + +July 15, had to raik up the yard. i aint been +fishing hardly this summer. darn the minister. + +July 16, or ennywhere else eether. today i had to +cleen the barn and woodshed and pile the wood up +neet. i wonder who they think is entertaneing the +minister ennyway. darn him to darnation. i hoap +nobody will ever see this diry. + +July 17. we are all nerly ded. mother and aunt +Sarah has been cooking all day. Keene and Cele +have been practising hynm tunes and i of coarse +have did most all the wirk. Pewt and Beany come +over tonite and fixed up what we shall do to the +minister. jest you wait and see old mister minister. +i bet mother wil be glad and Aunt Sarah two. +Tomorrow the minister comes. i bet he will wish he +dident. + +July 18, brite and fair. we have had a grate time. +i never had sutch a time in my life. i gess nobody +ever did befoar. everyone is in bed xausted but +me. they think i am in bed but i am wrighting this. +last nite me and Beany and Pewt talked over what we +shood do to the minister. i told them what father +done to old man Ellis and Pewt wanted to do that +but i thot perhaps i mite not get the rite chair to put +the bumblebeas in and if father set on them i mite +as well run away to sea. then peeple has been knowed +to tare off their britches when they are stang by +the hornits and bumblebeas and if the minister done +that it would be very mortifiing to my mother and +my aunt Sarah and my sisters Keene and Cele. + +so we desided that woodent be proper althoug we +wanted to like time. then Beany wanted to put a +live snaik in his hat, but we desided the snaik wood +scare mother and my aunt Sarah and my two sisters +to deth. then Pewt he sed less dig up some of those +red stink wirms behine the barn and put a handfull +in his hat. you know they smell so that you have +to use soft soap and sand and scrub your hands 2 +or 3 days before you can get it off. so neether of +us wanted to tuch one. + +then i sed mother is going to set the table and +put on all the chicken and gelly and butter and cake +and creem and everything and cover them with the +fli screens and shet the doors and have nobody go +in until super is ready. super is to be at six and she +is going to have evrything ready at five and then +they are all going upstairs and dress up in their +best and curl Celes hair and ty up Keenes hair with +a red ribon becaus her hair wont curl and dress +Georgie and Annie and Frank and the baby and maik +father put on a cleen coler and shert and black his +boots and promise to be cairful not to say ennything +that would shok the minister, so i sed less go in the +kitchen and ketch about 2 million flise and put them +under the fli screnes, and they sed i was a buster +to think it up. + +well at five oh clock the table was all set and it +looked fine. i never see it look so good. so after +the folks had went up stairs me and Pewt and +Beany clim into the kitchen and cougt a bushel of +flise and tiptode into the dining room and lifted up +the screnes and put them under. after we had prety +near filled the screnes we tiptode out. + +well father he came home and swoar when he +had to put on a cleen shert and coler and i blacked +his boots. i have to do evrything of coarse. that +is what i am for so evryone thinks. mother had +on her black silk dress with some lase round her +neck and Aunt Sarah two and the girls was all +dressed up and father two and they all looked fine. +mother looked the best. she always does and Aunt +Sarah the next. Keene sed i hadent blacked the +back part of my shoes and that wasent enny of her +business and so i told her to shet up and she made +a face and run out her tung. then father he sed +now if you two children begin enny of that you +will go to bed lifely. so we both shet up. well we +wated and wated and the minister dident come and +we wated sum more and the minister dident come +and i got scart, becaus if he dident come the folks +woodent see the goke and i wood get time paisted +out of me. well finally the bell rung and Cele went +to the door. Keene was mad because she coodent +and she started to run out her tung at Cele and then +she remembered what father sed and she stoped +just in time. + +sure enuf it was the minister and he sed he was +delade because he had to reprove thoughtless boys +whitch were ketching small and innosent fish with +sharp hooks. father whispered to me that is a hell +of a reeson for keeping a man starving to deth and +i laffed but nobody paid attension to me. well they +all shook hands with the minister and Cele made a +curtsy and sed tea is ready and we all marched out +into the dining room mother and the minister first, +then father and Aunt Sarah and then Keene and +Cele and then the little ones and Georgie and i come +last as i always do when there aint enny wirk to do. + +well as soon as they got in i herd them all draw +a long breth and then Aunt Sarah sed for mersey +sakes and mother she sed for heavens sake and father +he sed for goddlemity sakes and the minister he sed +my greef what a disgusting site. well you cood +hardly see the things to eat they was so covered +with flise. then i winked at mother and sed + + god made the little fli + and if you crush it it will die + +and then i winked again but mother she dident laff +back and father grabed me by the neck and sed did +you do this devilish thing and he shook me till i +cood hardly say yes, when mother made him put +me down. then she sed what did you do sutch a +dredful thing for and when i heard her voice i +woodent have did it for a $1000, and i sed becaus +the minister was all the time preeching not to kill +flise and mother and all of us was all the time more +you dident kill them the more you had to flap out +and it got so that you dident dass to eat a piece of +currant cake or blewbery bred for feer it wasent what +you thought it was and mother she sed and then i +stoped quick for i dident want to get mother in a +scraip but she sed go on and tell it all. + +so i sed she sed that if the minister had to fite +with about leven milion flise evry day in summer +for evrything he et or drank she bet he woodent +preech god made the little fli and then the minister +he sed but my dear boy god did make the little fli +dont you reelise that and i sed and god made swallows +and kingbirds and leest flicatchers and spiders, +what have you got to say about that. i had him +there but father sed no imperdence young man tell +us all. so i went on and told all about it, what +Pewt sed and what Beany sed and what i sed and what +we done. 2 or 3 times father had to coff awful and +wipe his eyes. he sed he got sum pepper up his +nose some how he dident know how. when i finished +father sed you go to your room and i will see you +laiter. so i went up stairs and wated a auful long +time afrade father wood come up and lam time out +of me. well bimeby Cele come up and sed very +solum father wants to see you down stairs in the +dining room. so i went down and there they all +set at the table with a new super ready and the flise +all flaped out. all but the minister. father he sed +sit down boy and have sum super and i sed aint +you going to lick me and he sed not if i know myself +and i sed where is the minister and father he sed +he has went home mad. i tride to get him to stay +and eat super with us and i tride to get him to go +to Hirvey's resterant and he asted me if i was going +to punish you and i sed that was a matter between +the boys mother and father and i gessed they wood +have to settle that themselfs and the minister was +mad and woodent stay. + +mother she sed i dont think he was mad George, +i think he was hert. father he laffed and sed well +if i had acted so i wood have been mad but a +minister was hurt. ennyway he will lern something +some day i hoap. then he filled up our plates and +we et and et and et and father told the funiest stories +i ever heard. we laffed so we cood scarcely eet. +that nite after i had went to my room father he +come up to my room and opened the door and sed +Harry are you awaik. i had heard him coming and +put out the lite and gumped into bed. i sed yes sir +and he sed + + god made the little fli + and if you crush it it will die + +and then he shet the door and went to bed. + + + + +July 18, 186---i bet that old minister wont come +to our house again verry soon. we are going +back to the unitarial chirch. they have got a new +quire there and Keene and Cele are going to sing in +the unitarial quire. it will seem kind of good to be +there again, and there aint enny meeting in the afternoon +only sunday school. i dont cair mutch about +sunday school becaus they dont lern us mutch there. + +today i rode horseback with Ed Tole. he has got +a little red pony not as big as Nellie. it can go like +time. Ed rides it without a sadle. when i ride +without a sadle and sturups it nearly splits me in too, +and hirts my backboan. today we raced. Nellie can +trot faster than Eds but Eds can run faster. i +woodent swap ennyway. + +July 19, 186---hot as time. today i met my uncle +Robert. he aint my uncle Robert but is my fathers +uncle. he is my great uncle so mother says. he +aint half so big as my father. he is my grandfathers +brother. my grandfather is dead. my uncle +Robert aint quite. father says he is dead but dont +know it. + +well ennyway i met him and said how do you do +uncle Robert and he sed whose boy are you and i +sed i am George Shutes boy and he sed huh i hoap +you will maik a better man than your father. i +wanted to say sumthing sassy to him but if i had +sed what i thought father wood have lammed time +out of me. father always licks me for mispoliteness +and imbehavior, so i jest looked at him scornful +and tirned my back on him. he had went along so +peraps he dident see me. i hoap he did. i bet my +father is 5 times as good as uncle Robert. i asted +mother and she sed i supose sum peeple wood say +uncle Robert is best but i dont quite like his kind. +i told father what uncle Robert sed and father laffed +and sed i must not blame uncle Robert becaus after +he was born they dident find it out for several weeks +and so he got a bad start and hadent never cougt up. +i wonder if that is true or one of fathers gokes +i can always tell. + +then father sed that Isac was a grate trile to uncle +Robert he was so tuf, and Aunt Sarah she sed why +George Shute you know that Isac never did a rong +thing in his life and father sed no i gess he dident +but if he had been aloud to go with me and Gim +Melcher and Charles Talor and the rest of the boys +we wood have made a man of Ike. + +July 20, 186---father has bougt 2 sheep. mother +sed what in the wirld do you want 2 sheep for and +father he sed he got them cheep becaus they dident +have enny lamns in March. father says they may +have sum enny time now and i must keep my eye +pealed. + +I have wrote a poim about our sheep. + + my father he has got 2 sheep + he got them most almity cheep + but if them sheep dont have no lamns + he'll fill the air with feerful damns. + +ain't that a pretty good poim. i bet Pewt coodent +wright that or Beany eether. + +July 21, brite and fair. i dont cair this time for +it seems good to go to the Unitarial once more. i +bet Beany is glad. i bet Pewt is two. i staid in +the barn until chirch time feeding my sheep. Keene +was mad and sed i smelt awful barny. Keene feels +prety big becaus she aint got to set in the same phew +with me. Beany got stang by a hornet in the organ +lof and one side of his face was all swole up. evry +time he wood look out everybody laffed. so after +chirch old chipper Burly told him he coodent blow +the organ ennymore becaus he made faces and made +the peeple laff. so Beany has lost his gob again. +it was two bad becaus Beany coodent help it. we +are going to get up a partition to get Beany back. + +July 22, 186---brite and fair. it is feerful dusty +now and when we go across the street we stamp our +feet and the dust comes up all over evrything. it is +lots of fun when peeple are near you. went in swimming +4 times. + +July 23. brite and fair. i had tuf luck today. +first i got kept in the yard becaus i stamped some +dust on 2 girls whitch was going down town in white +dresses. mother heard them jawing me and come out +and made me beg there pardon and she give them +a brush and dusted them off and told me to stay in +the yard all day. then this afternoon i dident have +mutch to do xcept ho the garden. all the fellers +was away fishing or swimming or buterfliing, so i +dident have much to do and when old John Quincy +Adams Polard went by all humped up over his cain +i was picking buggs off the tomatoe plants and i jest +coodent help it and let ding 2 joosy red tomatoes +at him, the ferst whized by his head and he looked +around jest in time to get 2th rite in the eye. well +it squashed all over his face and he began to sware +and to lam round with his cane and claw the tomatoe +out of his eyes. then he come rite back to our +house and i squat down behine the tomatoe plants. +i was in a corner and coodent get out and he made +for me with his old cain. i hollered for mother and +she come out and stoped him after he had given +me 2 bats and nocked down 3 tomatoe plants. well +mother took him into the house and got sum water +and towels and washed his face and promised to have +his shert washed. then i had to beg his pardon. +that made twice in one day. that is two mutch i +think. then mother sent me to my room for the +rest of the day. so i staid there reading for a +awful long time and then i was trying to spit in the +rane baril and mother caugt me and sent me to bed. +a feller cant do nothing without being snached +baldheaded. + +July 23, 186---today we wrote a partition to get +Beany back his gob. it read like this, + +mister Chipper Burley. Beany wasent making +up faces last sunday when the peeple laffed. he was +bit by 2 yeller jacket hornits behine the organ and he +done prety well not to holler rite out loud. most +fellers wood have done it but not Beany. his face +was all onesided and looked so funny that peeple +coodent help laffin. his face is funy ennyway but +peeple have got used to it when it aint swole up. +Beany woodent have stuck his head out if he had +gnew how he looked. he was not to blaim. so he +wants his gob back and we hoap you wil let him +come back. + Yours very respectively. + +well we got a lot of people to sine. Earl and Cutts +and father and Mr. Healy and Pewts father and old +man Dow and evrybody that read the partition sined +it and slaped their leg and laffed. sum of them +roared and sed i gess old Chipper will take notise +of that. + +well then we drawed lots to se whitch wood read +the partition to Chipper and i drawed the shortest +one. i always do so i am not sirprized. i am going +up to Chips tomorrow. + +July 24. brite and fair. i went up to Chips today. +he was in Boston. + +July 25. if we dont have rane before long father +says there wont be ennything to eat nex year. went +up to Chips again today. he hadent got home from +Boston. + +July 26, i will never speek to Chipper Burley +again. he has got the wirst temper i ever see. he +gets mad for nothing. i never see such a man, i +went up today. i met 2 or 3 men whitch sined the +partition and they asted me if i had seen Chip and +i sed no and they sed wel go up as soon as you can +so i went up. a servant girl came to the door and +told me Chip, only she sed mister Burley was in the +greenhouse. so i went to the greenhouse and he +was there with mister Busell and mister Alfrid +Coner and old Charles Coner and Joe Hiliard. he +asted me what i wanted and i told him and he +winked at the other men and sed read it and i started +to read it and i had jest got as far as mister Chipper +Burley when he got mad and grabed it and toar it +up and chased me almost down to front streete. i +wish i gnew what he was mad about. i dident do a +thing but jest start to read it. i bet i wont go there +again. + +July 27, 186---rany and thunderry. i always +thougt a girl with red hair and frekles wood taist +jest loke dandylions when you bite them. i meen +of course bite the dandylions. i meen when you +kiss the girl. i dont know. some day i am going +to find out. + +July 28, 186---i wunder why i wrote what i wrote +yesterday. if i thougt ennybody wood ever read +this diry i wood have toar that out. ennyway that +is what i always thougt. i bet sum of the fellers +know. but i dont. Beany has got his gob back. +they coodent get ennyone else to taik it. his face +has all gone down so it is not funny enny moar. at +least it is not enny funnier than usual and we are +used to that. + +July 29, 186---it was hot as time today. this +afternoon me and Cawcaw Harding went up to the +gravil to go in swiming and jest as we was jest +ready to dive in a cold mist came up and we nearly +froze befoar we cood find our close. i tell you we +dresed prety quick and hipered for home. father +sed it was a sea tirn and sumtimes horses and catel +has been lost and froze to deth by them and i had +beter be cairful about going in swiming when it is +too hot. i never know when father is goking. one +day i asted him what the fellers witch lived in south +America and Africa did for snow-baling and he sed +that the snow was so hot sumtimes that they had to +cool their snowballs befoar they pluged them at +other felers or they wood scald them or burn them +bad. i gnew that father was goking that time but +the nex day in school i read in a school book that a +man once froze water in a red hot cup. so peraps +he wasent goking after all. + +July 30 186---i have to cut grass for them sheep +evry day now and it taiks a lot of time when i cood +be fishing. i never see such things to eat. always +baaing for sumthing to eat. today they et a whole +cabbije i hooked out of J. Albert Clarks garden, and +a bushel of grass i cut over by the high school and +sum carots and sum meal and hay and a lot of +potatoe pealings and 2 peaces of lettis and drank haff +a pale of water and tiped over 3 whole pales full. +one is tame and follows me round. that is the old +one. the young one is wild and if i dont look out +wil butt me when i aint looking and where i aint +xpecting it. once she nocked me over and i hit her +with a stick hard. so now when i get in the pen +she gets in the corner. she knows she cant fool +with me. i guess not. + +July 31, 186---this morning we heard a awful +baaing in the sheep pen and father called me erly +and we went out. what do you think they was 3 +lamns there. 2 was ded. the old sheep the one +that i liked becaus she was tame was the one whitch +lamns was ded. she was runing up and down and +smelling of them and baaing. then she wood waulk +away from them and look round and see if they +was folowing her and when she see that they dident +she wood come back and baa sum more. + +father he sed thunder that is too bad we will have +to berry them. i dont want your mother to see +them. it wil maik her feel terrible. so i got a +spaid and father took up the 2 little lamns and we +went out behine the barn and father dug a hole and +then we rapped them up in sum brown paper and +berrid them. when we went back to the barn the +old sheep was baaing terrible and runing from one +end of the pen to the other end. her eyes stuck out +of her haid and she looked at us as if she was +asking us where her lamns was. father sed thunder +this is tuf what in time can we do. i sed i dont +know and he sed he dident supose i did he never +gnew me to know ennything when it was asted. so +he patted her head and called her a good old girl and +i got sum grass for her but she woodent eat. the +other lamm was all right but the first thing i gnew +the mother sheep nocked her oan lamn over. jest +butted it over. father sed hell and he was over the +fence in jest 2 secunds. then he let her up and she +backed into a corner shaiking her head. + +then the lamn kind of teetered up to her wobbly as +time and tried to suck and she butted him again and +nocked him down and father grabed her by the +back of the neck with one hand and by the end of +her back with the other and sed now old lady you +will do one of 2 things in about 2 minits. eether +nurse this lamn or go down to butcher Haleys. so +i poked the lamns nose under the sheep and in a +minit it was sucking like a good one and wigling its +tale like a snaik when you step on its head. the +old sheep tried to butt and kick and get away but +she mite jest as wel have tride to brake away from a +steal trap. i bet my father cood hold a wild bull +of bastem that the minister talked about if he had +him by the neck with one hand and the tale with +the other. i tel you that lamn had a good time. +after he dident want enny more father put him in +another pen and let the old sheep go. this noon he +held her again. it took us so long that it was too +lait to go to chirch. i bet i dident feel bad. after +dinner father held her again. tonite he held her a +few minits and then he let me hold her. she only +yanked once but i held her as good as father. + +August 1, 186---this morning father dident have +time to hold the sheep so he hollered up-stairs for +me to get up and hold her. then i heard the door of +the hack slam and i thought as long as father had +went to the trane i woodent hurry and the nex i +gnew mother was shaiking me and teling me that it +was eigt oh clock and that my lamn was bleeting +terrible. so i gumped up and dresed and run down +and put the lamn in the pen and clim after it. the +old sheep backed into a corner when i went towerds +her and stamped her front foot and befoar i cood +gump to one side she hit me with her head and +nocked me flat. i gnew beter than to get up and so +i roled over towerds her and got her by the legs and +then i got a good grip in her wool. we had a +regular rassel and she draged me all over the pen. i +held on like a good feler and bimeby i got her in a +corner head ferst. then the lamn woodent come to +suck. i gess he was scart. i dident blame him for +i was scart two. if i hadent been scart i would have +let go so i hollered for Keene but nobody caim. i +cood hear them ratling dishes and eating breckfast +and i was most starved to death and i dident dass to +let go of that old sheep. so i hung on and began to +call the lamn. it wood baa and come prety nearly +up and then run back. bimeby it come so near that +i cood reech it but when i let go of the sheep with +one hand she began to kick and strugle and i had +another rassel with it. i was most tuckered out +when she stoped to rest again. then i hollered for +sumone to come but nobody caim. then i hapened +to think that in the Swiss Family Robinson that the +father was triing to ride a wild ass and it kicked +and bit and rared and plungged and the only way to +stop him was to bite his hear. so when he rared up +strait he grabed his ear with his teeth and bit it +throug and the ass got down on his feet once more +and stoped kicking and biting and plungging and he +never had enny moar truble with him. + +so i made up my mind that when that sheep began +to tare round again i wood try it. so bimeby the +little lamn come up close and i let go one hand to +stick the lamns head in place when the old sheep +began to try to get away and i got both arms round +its neck tite and grabed its ear with my teeth and +bit as hard as i cood. well i wish you cood have +saw what hapened. i never gnew wether she tirned +a back summerset or i did. i gess we both did. she +led out a baa and slamed me down on the floor and +trod al over me and butted me over and tride to +gump out of the pen. while i was on the ground +and she was steping on me i caugt her by the legs +and down she went and most squashed me flat and +one of her feet trod on my head. you jest bet i +hollered and then Keene and Cele and mother and +Aunt Sarah come out and told me to get out of the +pen befoar i was killed. i had been triing to get +out ever since i bit her but she seamed to be +evrywhere to onct. when they come she ran into a +corner and i clim out. i was all covered with dirt +and my nose was skined and my close toar. Keene +asted me if i had ben playing ring round the rosy +and mother told her that she must wash and mend +my close for that before she went out of the yard. +so i gess Keene wont be so smart another time. i +went back to my room and changed my close and +washed my face and hands and mother put some +plaster on my face. then i had breckfast. + +tonite i am so tired that i cant wright enny more. +tomorrow i will tell how we fed the lamn. i have +got so i can handle the sheep all right. Sam Dire +done it. + +August 2 186---brite and fair. yesterday after i +had my breckfast mother told me to ask Sam Dire +what to do to fed the lamn. mother says Sam +Dire is the lady from Philydelfia like the story of +the Peterkin family in the young folks. when the +Peterkin family in the magasine is stuck and dont +know what to do they go to the lady from Philydelfia +who tells them jest what to do. so mother +sends for Sam Dire when she dont know what to +do. so Sam he came over and clim into the pen +and grabed the old sheep and held her until i got the +lamn and it had enuf. + +then Sam he went over to the blacksmith shop and +he made 2 rings of iron. then he got a strap with +a buckel and he put the strap with a ring on it +round her neck. then he fassened a peace of closeline +to the ring and run it throug the other ring +whicht he had fassened to a beem in the corner +and brougt the end of the roap out of the pen and +tide it. so all i have to do now is to pull her up to +the ring and ty the roap. then i get my gnee agenst +her and she cant move. i done it at noon and at +nite. she holds back when i pull but when i brace +my feet agenst the side of the pen and pull you bet +she has to come. that was prety good of Sam. +tonite father nearly dide when i told him about +biting her ear and mother told him how i looked. +he went over and paid Sam 25 cents and told him +he was a beter inventer than the man which invented +hot water and i tell you Sam was pleased most to +deth. + +August 3, 186---i think Lizzie Tole is the pretyest +girl i ever see in my life. it looks as if Beany wood +get her. still i am hoaping. + +August 4, 186---i woodent have ennybody read +this diry for 2 million dollars. i am very cairful +about it. Beany is a prety good feller but there is +sum things that no feller can stand. i gess Ed Tole +likes me better than he does Beany but Lizzie dont. +I wood ruther have it the other way. still i am +hoaping. Beany may see sumbody he likes better. +so may she. i hoap it will be me. i forgot to say +that this was sunday. i tride to get father to let +me stay at home to taik cair of the sheep but he +woodent. he staid home himself to look after them. +i dont think that is fair. they was a thunder shower +this afternoon. it was after chirch of coarse. it +was a ripper. it struck a tree up on Coart strete +and split off a big lim. i have to wirk prety hard +cutting grass for them sheep. + +August 5, 186---i have to wirk harder than enny +feller i know. all Beany has to do is to split kinlins +and lug in wood and get water from the well with +the old chane and windlas and that is always fun +becaus a feller always splashed the water all over +him and sumtimes the chane brakes and they have to +fish for it with hooks and sumtimes things get in the +well and you cant use the water for a long time and +then Beany has to come over to my house. once a +cat got drownded in Beanys well. Beany cood see +it floating round but me and Beany was mad and +he sed he never wood come over to my house again +or speak to me as long as he lived. so Beany dident +say nothing to his family but kep on luging in pales +of water. bimbye the water began to smel bad and +taist feerful and Beanys father xamined the well +after about a week more and found the old ded cat +and there was a dredful time and Beany got a licking +and had to come over to our house for water +until his well was clened out. ennyway we had made +up. gues what we got mad about. i treted Lizzie +to gibs and Beany got mad and woodent speek to me +or to her. then he bought a prize packige of candy +and got a ring that was wirth a grate deel of money +and gave it to her and now she goes with Beany +and dont speek to me. i am never going with girls +again. ennyway me and Beany are all rite again. + +August 6, 186---brite and fair. Pewt is wirking +for his father painting the Academy fence. he says +he gets one dollar and a quarter a day. gosh i wunder +if he does. Beany says Pewt dont get fifty +cents a year. Pewt woodent wirk if he dident get +paid. he always has got money too. so i gess he +gets sum pay. i almost never have enny money +xcept when i let my boat and bisness is poar this +summer. i doant beleve i have ernt 2 dollars this +summer. i think father had aught to pay me fer all +the wirk i do. i am tired of that old sheep. i wish +a dog wood come in some day and kill it. we all +like the lamn. it is geting so it can eat grass a +little. evry day i ty the old sheep out in the grass. +i wish it was ded. evry time it baas i have to give it +sumthing. i wood like to give it sum poizon. + +August 7, 186---hot and thundery. Cele is reading +the bible throug. she reads a chapter evry +morning. she is terible religius. she is a grate +reader of dime novels. she reads all mine. father +lets me read them. he says he likes to read them +himself. it is all indian fiting. Cele has read Nat +Todd the Traper and Billy Bolegs and Scalploc +Sam and Mountain Mike and One Eyd Pete and lots +of them. she says she likes the bible best. i dont +beleve it. she has got as far as the 2th palsam. +once father made me lern a palsam. he gave me +10 cents. i have tride to forget it and it is most +forgot. it goes like this. + +day unto day utterith speach and nite unto nite +showeth gnowledge. + +there is no speach nor gnowledge where thy voice +is not heard. that is all i can remember now. once +i cood say it all but i dident know what it ment. i +gnew what the 10 cents was for. + +mother dont believe it wil do Cele eny good to +read dime novels but father says it will help her +atain a hapy medium. + +August 8, 186---mother dont like to have Cele +read dime novils. father dont cair. i dont cair +much so long as father dont stop me. of course +Cele cood read mine after i had got throug them, +but Cele wont do that. she is two good for this +wirld. it is funny. Cele is as stuffy as a bull dog +but she has got a new England consciense, so father +says, and if mother tells her not to read dime novils +she woodent do it to saive her life. but if Cele +thougt it was rong to read dime novils mother and +father cood lam time out of her but they coodent +maik her read them. she thinks it is rite to read +dime novils but if mother tells her not to she wont +read them if you cut her rite hand off. that is Cele. + +August 9, 186---me and Cele are reading Wild +Mag the Trappers Bride. she has got to the nineth +palsam now. she gets the novil when i am cutting +grass for that old sheep and i get it when she is +reading the palsams. i bet i can remember the novil +beter than she can the palsam. i bet she can two. +Keene dont read eether. she is reading Weded but +no Wife in the New York Legger. i think mother +dont like that eether. tonite mother and father had +it out. father sed he thougt it wood be all rite for +Cele to read novils but if mother sed no it was +going to be no and that is all there was about it. +Keene coodent keep still and sed it aint nice to read +dime novils and mother sed it is wirse to read Weded +but no Wife in the Legger and father sed that is jest +dam rite Joey, he calls mother Joey, and so Keene +has got to stop reading that story. Cele cried and +Keene was mad. i dident yip and nothing was sed +about me. i know when to keep quiet as well as +the nex one. this is one of them times. after we +had went out i told Cele i wood read it and tell her +all about it but she sed no it woodent be rite and she +went off balling and wiping her eyes. she red 2 +palsams today to make up. i am glad i havent got +a New England consciense. it is a awful thing to +have when they is enny fun going. i hoap i shal +never have one. + +August 10, 186---brite and fair. the ferst chirch +is going to have a picknic a week from nex Tuesday. +father says i cant go becaus i am a unitarial. i dont +see why. i used to go to the ferst chirch. + +August 11, 186---sunday today. it raned hard +all day. it is the ferst time i ever gnew it to rane on +sunday, and i gess it is the ferst time it ever did in +this wirld. I sed i wood like to go to the ferst +chirch and sunday school but father he sed not mutch +young man, but so long as you are so anchious to go +to chirch you can go to the Unitarial with your +sister Celia. i tride to get out of it but he made me go. +so me and Cele went. this is one of the times when +i dident know enuf to keep still. i am going to that +picknic sumhow. unitarials dont never have picknics. +that is the only thing i have got agenst them. + +August 12, 186---in 3 weks from today school +begins again. i dont like to think of it. it is a +shaim. i waulked down town with the ferst chirch +minister Mister Borows today. he asted me why +we dident go to his chirch enny more and sed that +he missed my sisters singing in the quire. he dident +say ennything about missing me. i told him we was +all crasy to get back to his chirch and sunday school, +only i called it sabath school becaus ministers always +call it that and evrybody else doesnt. he asted me +if we become crasy to get back about the time we +heard of the picknic and i sed no not exackly then, +for we had always felt like that way but we was +more crasier when we heard of that. all he sed was +hum. that can meen most ennything you know. i +am going to that picknic sumhow. i wish that old +sheep was ded. if i see a bear climing the fense to +kill that sheep and take off her skin and rap it up +in a neet roll the way bears do and then eat it, i +mean the sheep and leeve the skin and i had a gun in +my hand i woodent shoot that bear. that is the way +i feel about her. evry time i want to go ennywhere +i have to taik cair of that old sheep ferst. + +August 13, 186---i havent seen a show in Exeter +for a long time. i wish i gnew how i was going to +that picknic. + +August 14, 186---i was going fishing all day today +and taik my dinner with me but of coarse i +had to come back at one oh clock to feed that darned +old sheep. i wish we lived in a bear country. + +August 15, 186---brite and fair. perhaps if i did +i woodent dass to go fishing. ennyway i wish that +old sheep was ded. i am still hoaping to go to that +picknic. + +August 16, 186---we have had a terrible xciting +time here today. if it hadent been for Cele we wood +have lost our sheep. me and Keene fit hard with +clubs and broomsticks and kicking in the ribs and +pulling his tale but Cele done it. i shood never have +thougt of it. but Cele did. father says Cele is a +heroin. he says Cele has got some branes but that +me and Keene has got moar curage than jugment. +He says mother has got some branes two. i gess +father was tickled to deth about it. + +well this is the way it was. old Henry Dow has +got a awful cros dog. when it aint tide he keeps it +with him. today it got untide or knawed its roap +and the ferst i gnew i heard Keene begin to screach +and a growl and a kind of choking sort of baa. i +was up in the barn lof, but when i herd that i come +down prety quick. when i got there old Dows dog +had that sheep rite by the gozzle and had throwed it +down. the lamn was trembling and baaing and +Keene was lamming that dog with a broom jest as +hard as she cood paist him and screaching as loud +as she cood. he dident mind the broom stick enny +more than a fether. i ran up and kicked him in the +ribs but that dident maik him let go. i got hold of +his tale and pulled and kicked but he hung on. +they was maiking a awful choking growly noise. +mother run out and then run back and i herd her +pumping a pale of water and i run for the ax. jest +as i got it and come out of the shed Cele come taring +out of the house with sumthing shiny in her hand +and throwed it rite in that dogs nose and eys, and +he let go and began to howl and paw at his eys and +nose and role over and tare round. people were +running into the yard and mother come out with a +pale of water jest as Sam Dire clim over the fense +with a red hot iron in his pinchers and come taring +up. the dog had scooted for hom howling bludy +murder and when Sam got there he was so xcited he +put the red hot iron on the sheep and set its wool +afire. we wood have had roast lamn for dinner if it +hadent been for mother who throwed her pale of +water part of it on the sheep and part of it on Cele +who got in the way. the funny part of it was that +when we xamined the sheep we found she wasent +hurt mutch. the bull dog had got his teeth partly +in her thick wool and partly in her lether coller. she +was scart about to deth and kep hudling up against +us like a cat. Keene she sed she saw the whole of +it. the old bull dog started for the lamn and that +old sheep whitch had never liked the lamn gumped +rite in front of it with her head down and the bull +dog gumped and grabed her instead of the lamn. if +he had grabed the lamn he wood have killed it to +onct. tonite father asted more than 40 questions +about it. he sed we al done splendid. that me and +Keene showed grate curage but that Cele and mother +showed grate jugment. he nearly dide laffing when +he heard Sam Dire set fire to the sheep. he sed he +gesed Sam dident want to lose his heat. father +asted Cele how she hapened to think to do that and +that is the funny part of it. sumtimes you +have to laff at funerals. well Cele sed that in Scalploc +Sam a bear had a deth grip on his dogs throte +when Scalploc Sam he grabed his pepper pot and +throwed a hanful of pepper in his eys and nose and +while the bear was ritheing in agony and filling the +welkin with horid roars and snarls and growls Scalploc +Sam loded his thrusty riffle and slew him. slew +means kill. + +so that give Cele the idea and she done it. she +sed she dident get enny help from the palsams. so +mother is going to let Cele read dime novils if she +dont read two many. then Keene up and sed that +she had aught to be aloud to read Weded yet no +wife but mother she sed no. so father give Keene +15 cents and gave me ten cents. i told him he had +aught to let me go to that picknic but he sed he +dident believe in eleven hours conversion i told him +i had been thinking about that picknic for eleven +days and he laffed and sed i would have to get along +with that ten cents. i tell you we was all tired +tonite. i think father had aught to let me go to that +picknic. i am still hoaping. + +August 17, 186---today that sheep let the lamn +suck and seamed to like it. she rubed agenst me +and was as tame as the old one was. if she is going +to ack that way i shall like her. Beanys father is +going to let Beany go to that picknic. Mister Watson +Beanys father rings the town bell and is the +ganiter of the ferst chirch. Beany always has all the +luck. i dont have enny. it is most time for that +picknic but nobody aint sed nothing to me about it +yet. i am still hoaping. + +August 18, 186---when i woke up this morning it +was raining hard and it raned all day. this is the +ferst time i ever gnew it to do that and the 2th time +i ever gnew it to rane on sunday. today i split the +wood and luged it in and fed the sheep and did all +them things that i have to do and most felers dont +have to do and then i read awhile and we talked +about the bull dog and the sheep. then i rote a poim +about it. + + one day in sumer in Au-gust. + it was so hot we nearly bust + my sheep was painting with the heat + when a dog came taring down the street + and then without delay or pause + he gumped on them with teeth and claus + +P.S. a dog aint got no claus to clau with, only +nails and nails woodent rime with pause. + + he seezed that sheep by her white throte + and shook her till she was all aflote + he wood have killed her ded rite there + when my sister Keene who you coodent scare + let out a screech you cood heard a mile + and laid on a broom in her very best style + and while she was taning his mizable hide + i give him sum feerful kicks in the side + and squashed him almost perfictly flat + but he wodent let go for all of that + till my sister Cele came runing out + with a scornful look on her hansom snout + +(P.S. a second time. it is a kind of mean thing +to say about my sister Cele but it is a good rime +ennyway as long as i sed she was hansome i dont +beleeve she wood cair.) + + and she throwed in that dogs face and eys + peper enuf to make 40 Kyann pepper pyes + and that dog let go and begam to yell + and howl as if he was rite in hell + +(P.S. 3th we unitarials say there aint no hell +but i aint sure) + + and he made for home on the cleen gump + jest as mother came out with a pale from the pump + and old Sam Dire clim over the fench + with a red hot iron and a munky rench + +(P.S. again. fench is ment for fence. poits +can do this whenever they have to) + + and he set on fire that poor sheeps fur + and that was the best he cood do for her, + but mother throwed that pale of water + half on the sheep and 3 fourths on her daughter + and Cele sed Sam you dam big lout + just what in hell are you about? + +(P.S. once more. my sister Cele never sed that +really. she wood ruther cut her rite hand off than +use such langage. but nobody but me will ever +read this) + + and Sam sed looking verry wize + i apoller-oler-ollergize. + and then thinking he better not stop + he clim the fence to his backsmith shop + and oh how grateful that sheep must feel + to me and mother and Keene and Cele. + but old Sam Dire has went to his shop + where we certingly hoap old Sam will stop. + +(P.S. the last time. we really dont hoap so +becaus we all like Sam very mutch. Sam is one of +the best fellers we ever gnew. But i had to finnish +the poim some way. ennyway Sam wont ever +read it.) + +There i think they aint many better poims than that. +i bet the Exeter News leter wood put it in their +paper if i dassed to let them. i bet Beany coodnt +have wrote it. i bet Pewt coodent have either. + + + + +August 19, 186---tomorrow is the last day +before the picknic and i am still hoaping. it +will be prety mean if i cant go to that picknic. i am +stil hoaping. + +August 20, 186---hooray i am going to that picknic. +i had almost given up hoap. mister minister +Barrows come and asted me if i wood let my boat +for the picknic. i sed i never let my boat to a +picknic unless i rew it myself becaus i never gnew +who wood row it and how they wood treet it and +once they dident bring it back at all but after they +had used it all day they left it up river and dident pay +me and i had to go up after it and when i had +waulked three miles up river i found it on the +other bank and it was too cold to swim across and +i had to waulk way back to the brige and then go up +on the other side to get it and it took me most all +day and the boat was all full of dried mud and ded +hornpout and i had to spend the rest of the day +in washing it out and dident get enny pay. + +wel he sed they wood pay me well and wood treet +the boat verry carifully but i sed i coodent trust +enybody eether to pay for the boat or to take cair of it. +so i sed i gess i dident want to let the boat unless i +did the rowing and was there to look after it. i +sed it was the only boat i had and that father was +always telling me not to let evry Tom Dick and +Harry have it jest becaus they wanted it. + +he sed he wood assure me that everything wood +be all rite if i wood tell him how mutch i wanted +for it but i told him he coodent have the boat unless +i went with it and he had beter get a boat of +sumbody elce. he sed that my boat was large and safe +and that nobody elce has so good a boat. + +i told him that wasent my fault but that was the +way i did business, so after awhile he sed well if i +wood promise to do all the rowing that he wanted +he wood ingage me and my boat and he is going +to give me 50 cents. i only get 25 cents most of the +time but i thougt i had augt to get 50 of him. so +he sed all rite and i am going. when father come +home i told him the minister had sed that if i wood +come to the picknic and help row the boat he would +give me 25 cents more than i usally got, and he +sed i cood do it if he wanted me as bad as that. i +dident tell father all i sed to the minister or all he +sed to me. i dont think the minister wanted me +very bad. i think he wanted the boat more. enny +way he had to do it. tomorrow i am going to wash +the boat out and i bet i will have a good time. +Keene says she woodent want to go where she +wasent wanted but i told her that when they paid +me twice as mutch as i usally got it showed that they +wanted me prety bad. so Kerry coodent say mutch +to that. + +August 28, 186---it is almost time for school to +begin and i have lost a hole week in bed and my life +has been despared of. i dont beleeve enny feller +ever was so sick as i have been and still lived to +tell the tale. doctor Pery sed he never gnew a feller +to go throug what i have went throug and live. it +was that darn picknic that done it. doctor Perry +says they aint a doctor in Exeter that dont lay in a +lot of extry caster oil and rubarb and sody and a +new popsquert and get a lot of sleep the nite befoar +a chirch picknic. he sed that a collick from eating +two mutch is bad enuf but when a feller is all swole +up with poizen ivory leeves two it is wirse. + +it is a very long story and i dont beleeve i can +write it out all in one evining becaus sumtimes my +head goes round like a button on a barn door so +father sed. + +wel the morning of the picnic i got up erly and +washed out my boat and had it at the worf when the +peeple come down. mother sed she dident want me +to go unless i took sumthing for them to eat so she +put me up a half dozen donuts and sum sanwiches +and sum apple tirnovers and a little bottel of pickels. +well i thougt they wood have enuf for all of the +people without that and so i et it all while i was +washing out the boat. i gnew i was a going to have +a hard days wirk and i wanted to be ready and after +i had hid the basket and had the boat reddy the +peeple began to come down to the worf. they had +baskets and pales and paper boxes and ice creem +freesers and bottels and plaits and goblets and mugs +and cups and brown paper packages of coffy that +smeled awful good and made me hungry again +althoug i had et a hole basket full. + +well the minister was there with a long taled +coat and a white neck ty and decon William Henry +Johnson and decon Ambrose Peevy and Aunt Hannar +Peevy and Widow Sally Mackintire and lots of +them and evrybody was talking and laffing and +stepping on things they hadent aught to step on and +puting things in rong places and loosing things jest +like old peeple always do. + +the ferst thing they done was to pile on to the +worf so many that the worf sunk down and the +water come over it and wet most of there feet and +they al screached and hipered up the bank and then +begun to blame me for it as if i had done it when i +was in the boat and dident tuch their old worf. and +Mrs. Lydia Simpkins shorl went floting down river +and i had to row out and get it and she sed i had +augt to know better than to get too many peeple +on a worf and wet their feet and they thougt i done it +a purpose. sum peple wood have given me ten cents. +she mite have thanked me. the minister was all rite. +he sed it wasent my falt. so they was more cairful +nex time and one at a time they tiptode acros the +worf and got into the boats. i had my boat full +and al the women grabed at the sides of the boat and +hollered wen it rocked the teentyest bit. + +but after they see i gnew what i was about they +begun to have a good time draging their hands in the +water and setting one sided. it made it awful hard +to row but i dident say nothing but rew as hard as +i cood. i dident know until we got to the eddy +woods why it was so hard. it was becaus Thomas +Edwin Folsoms coat tales were draging in the water +all the way. if i had gnew that i dont beleeve i wood +have sed nothing. they sung songs like lightly row, +lightly row ore the sparkling waives we go and +rocked in the cradle of the deep and come away come +away theres moonlite on the lake and row brother +row the stream runs fast the rapids are near and +the boat is---sumthing or other i have forgot. they +always sing songs like them. + +when we got up to the Eddy they got out and the +decons coat tales were driping over his hine legs so +he took his coat off and hung it on a lim of a tree to +dry. then i had to lug all the baskets and pales up +the bank. befoar i went down for a second lode +of peeple Mrs. Dearborn give me 2 more sanwiches +and 3 donuts and a drink of lemonade for rowing +them so good and when i had et them i started down +river again. it was bully to se how eesy that boat +went after the people was out. it was jest as eesy +as nothing at all. i met all the boats comeing up. +they was rowing evry whitch way. the oars was +splashing and not keeping time. there was one man +whitch thougt he was a grate rower. he set in the +back rowing seat and had 2 or 3 full groan peeple in +the front part of the boat and a little dride up +woman who dident weig more than a empty basket +on the back seat and she was triing to steer the boat. +the bow of the boat was sunk down and the stirn +was up in the air so that the ruder dident tuch the +water. the boat would swing round and the man +wood pull sideways till his face was all one sided and +jaw at his wife becaus she dident know enuf to steer +a boat, and she wood paw back that she gnew as +mutch about steering as he did about rowing. they +were having a real good time. + +then i met Beany with 2 fat wimmen in the stirn +seat and in the front seat Beany was up so high +that his oars cood hardly reech the water and the +boat was one sided becaus one woman was twice as +fat as the other and the other peeple were leening +over the side of the boat and Beany was sweting like +a horse and mad enuf to bite a peace out of the bow +of the boat and eat it and he was going about one +mile an hour and his face was as red as Skiny +Bruces hair. i set up and rew with long even stroaks +and fethered my oars and dident splash a bit and the +boat went on an even keel with little whirlpools +when the oars came out and when i passed Beany the +peeple in his boat sed dont that Shute boy row well, +i wish he was rowing this boat. if he was we wood +get there sum time today. and Beany was mad +and i heard him say huh old Plupy is only showing +off. + +well when i got back to the worf there was sum +more peeple wating with sum milk cans of lemonaid, +and a freeser of ice creem and i was so hot from +rowing so hard that i set down and brethed hard +and wiped my face and held my head in my hands. +they asted me if i was sick and i sed no only xasted +becaus i am so thirsty my throat is dry. so they +give me a glas of lemonaid and a saucer of ice cream +and 2 peaces of cake and after i had et that i sed i +felt better and was ready to row them up. they +asted me how long it would taik and i sed if they +wood set so the boat wood run even i wood do it +prety quick. so they done as i sed and i rew steddy +by the gravil and the oak and the cove and the fishing +bank to the willows whitch is haff way and they give +me 2 glasses of lemonaid and when i had drank it +i started again and rew stedy till i got to the last tirn +when i passed Beany and the other boats that the +old pods were rowing. + +when i went by Beany he sed i bet you havent been +way down to the worf old Plupe and the peeple in +my boat sed he surely has and the fat wimmen in +Beanys boat sed the nex time we come up we will +get him to row us and not you Elbrige. i sed to +myself low so they woodent hear me i bet you wont +if i can help it. + +well i landed my peeple at the bank and luged +up their stuff befoar Beany got there. when he got +there a awful funny thing hapened. Beany he give +2 or 3 long stroaks to land the boat and he done it +pretty good for him. while the boat was running in +Beany balanced in the bow ready to gump out and +hold it. well when he done it and lifted the bow to +pull up the boat the stirn went down so far that the +water came over the side of the boat and the fat +wimmen were setting in about six inches of water. +well they screeched and tride to get up but they +was weged in so tite that they coodent till 2 of the +men gumped into the boat and yanked them up and +you augt to hear them lay into Beany. the back +of their dreses was sopping wet. + +wel peeple had put up swings and fellers was pushing +girls in swings and runing under them and sum +were swinging in hammocks and sumone had bilt a +fire and sum were setting the tables and sum were +setting down on shorls and cushings and children +were playing copenhagin and going to Gerusalem +and it was a lively time. + +i wanted to have sum fun but the minit i landed +2 wimmen that i had never saw befoar wanted me +to go out with them to get sum flowers and leeves +for their table and of coarse i had to go but as i was +prety well tuckered out i made them give me one +more glas of lemonaid and 3 sandwiches. that was +better than nothing and after i had drank it and et +them i was reddy and we went off in the boat. i rew +them across the river and we found sum vines with +shiny leaves and a lot of yeller dazies and sum cardinel +flowers and the wimmen made reaths of them +one for eech plait on the table. + +while we was doing this sum more people come +and they began to make reaths and i helped them. +bimeby we had enuf and we went back to the picknic +with our arms full. when we got there they +was a big crowd round sumthing on the ground and +we run up and found that Beany had fell out of a +swing and had hit on his head. he swang the +higest of enyone when he fel out and if he hadent +hit on his head it wood have killed him. it made +him kind of squint eyd for a while and his head was +on one side for 2 or 3 days but it dident hurt him. + +miss Lewccretia Baley had spraned her anckle by +steping in a hole and had to set with her anckle +rapped up in a shorl. but i notised she et as mutch +as ennyone, and Tommy Tomson had got a fishhook +in his leg and had to have it cut out. evryone was +having a good time and i cood smell the coffy. + +after Beany was pernounced out of dainger and +was able to crawl round and drink about 3 glases +of lemonaid before dinner was ready, sum fellers +is pigs ennyway, i had to row sum moar peeple up +river for sum cardinel flowers. before i done this +i got them to give me 2 creem cakes and a peace of +blewberry pie. i aint like Beany always waiting to +eat without wirking for it. a feller has to eat in +order to wirk good. + +well when i had et them i rew the people up river +and when they wood see a cardinel flower they wood +holler to me and i wood row the boat up to the place +where the cardinel flower was and they wood pick it +and holler over it and then we wood go on. the +river was kind of low and the banks were steep and +slipery where the cardinel flowers grew and Charlie +Lane, the feller whitch was in the boat, had on sum +white britches and we had got enuf and was going +back when one of the wimmen sed oh see that splended +one we must have that one. so i rew up and +Charlie got out and clim up and got the flower +whitch was a big one 2 or 3 feet above the water. +when Charlie got it he turned round and sed + + the rose is red the vilet blew + the pink is sweet and--- + +and his hels flew up and he set down in the slipery +mud and slid rite into the water, that is his hine legs +went in to his gnees but he grabed the boat and that +stoped him. his white britches were wet and covered +with green slime to his gnees and the seat of +his britches was black with mud. the wimmen +nearly dide laffing and Charlie sed mersy sakes what +a mess. most evry other feller wood have swore +feerful but Charlie doesnt sware and is a good young +man. that is why we call him Charlie. + +well Charlie sed he gessed he wood woulk home +and change his britches, he called them his pants, +and so he got out of the boat and clim up the bank +and started. i dident tell him he was on the rong +side of the river becaus he dident ast me and i +supose he gnew what he was about. the last i see +of him he was going towerds Kensinton. while i +was sick i sort of wurred about him but when i ast +mother she sed he was in the store. he works for +old Gid Lyford. + +when we got back to the picknic old Mrs. Bolton +had had a spell and the minister and Decon Sawyer +was lifting her into Miss Susan Parkinsons caryall +to drive her home. sum feller had throwed a teeny +little bull toad in her lap. huh i shood think that +was a prety thing to have a spell for. i never see +ennyone have a spell. i wish i had got there in time +to see it. Beany sed it was grate fun and elvrybody +injoyed it. + +Mr. E. O. Luvrin had been stang by a hornit on +his underlip and evrybody had a good time looking +at him. i don't beleeve there was ever a beter +picknic. + +the tables had been set and looked fine. our table +with the reaths was the pretyest. well we all set +down and evrybody sed hush, hush and the minister +sed a long prair. peraps it seamed longer becaus +i was most starved to deth. i had been wirking +so hard and it was a long time since i had my breckfast. + +well after the minister got through, we pitched in +and et. i never had so good a dinner in my life. +we had ham sanwiches and cornbeef sanwiches and +tung sanwiches and pickles and milk and pickle +limes and creem cakes and blewberry pie and chese +and rasbery tirnovers and astrackan apples and +balled egs and blackberrys and tee and coffy and +sardeens on crackers and custerd pyes and squash +pyes and apple pyes and gelly roles and tarts and +coconut cakes and all the ice creem we cood eat, +pink ice creem and white ice creem and yeller ice +creem. + +i et sum of everything they had. you see it was +a long time since i had my breckfast and i had been +wirking hard and mother had always told me to +eat evrything in my plait and i wanted to ennyway. +so i et until i coodent eat ennymore and most everybody +done so two. + +after dinner i helped clear away the things and +then sum peeple went wauling in the wood sum slep +in the hammucks and sum set down in cerkles and +played gaims and told storys. they was one big +cerkle whitch had the minister and most of the +decons and their wifes and all the old wimmen and +they was playing childrens gaims and hollering and +laffing jest like children. old E. O. Luverin the feller +whitch had been stang by a hornit on the underlip +had told me to bate a hook and set my pole for +a big hornpout or an eal. so i done that before dinner. +i put a big steal hook on the line and bated it +with the bigest grashoper i cood find, an old lunker, +one of them kind that maiks a noise lika a nutmeg +graiter and when it flise ratles its wings. then i +unwound al my line and threw the bate out as +fur as i cood and set the pole with a croched stick +rite down in the sand by the boats. i was lissening +to the peeple playing gaims when sum feller hollered +Plupy you got a bite and i looked and saw that my +line was tite and my pole bending. so i hipered +down the bank and grabed the pole and pulled in. +i had a big one on the hook and he pulled terrible, +but i yanked him out and i pulled so hard that he +went way over my head and rite in the middle of the +cerkle of peeple. + +it was an old lunker of an eal and when it lit on +the ground it twisted and squirmed and thrashed +round like a snaik and of al the screaching and tirning +of back summersets by the wimmen whitch were +fat and coodent get up quick, and of all the holding +up of skerts and hipering for the woods by the thin +wimmen you never saw in all your life. + +and the men hollored and got out of the way of +that eal as quick as the wimmen and one decon hollered +what in hel and damnation are you trying to +do you cussid fool, and sum of the others sed things +i gess they wished they hadent. me and Beany was +triing to get that eal of the hook. i got my foot on +his neck and he squermed round my leg and got my +britches leg all covered with slime. bimeby i got +him off and into my boat, and when i went back old +Mrs. Sofire Peezley was having a spell. i never seen +ennyone have a spell before and it was very interesting. +she screached and cried and then threw her +head back and laffed and claped her hands together +and roled her eys and gulped and swallered, and the +wimmen were patting her on the back and making +her smell of amonia botles and calling her dear and +blesid lamn, and poar darling and talking to her as if +she was a baby, and wimmen were coming back +from the woods and saying it was a burning shaim +and looking at me mad and saying i had aught to be +in jale. and old E. O. Luvrin jawed me but it +dident do no good becaus his lip was so swole that +nobody cood understand what he sed. but i sed i +aint done nothing what are you pichin into me for? + +Then a woman sed you are the wirst boy in town +and you are jest like your father was, and i sed i +gess if you gnew what my father sed about you you +woodent say much more and she tirned red and sed +if that boy stays here i wont. it is a shaim to have +sutch a boy at a desent picnic or with desent peeple. + +then they all got round me and jawed me and the +minister sed i must go home and i sed all rite if +i have got to go i wil taik my boat, and he sed verry +well take your boat and go. i am verry mutch +disapointed in you. then i sed ennyway i want my +fifty cents and they all sed dont you give him a cent +he has been a newsense. then i sed it may be all +rite to call a feller a newsence after he has rew about +a hundred peeple more than fifty miles and luged +barils stuff up the bank and made reaths and picked +flowers and rescued peeple from drownding whitch +dident know enuf to sit in a boat, but i aint going +till i get my fifty cents then they sed if i dident +go rite off they wood lick me and i woodent get my +fifty cents. + +so i got into my boat and rew up river. then i +rew back and kept in the middle of the river and +began to holer things to Beany. i gnew they +coodent drive me off the river so i hollered to Beany +did you see old Misses Peezley have that fit? gosh i +bet she maiks old man Peezley stand round. peraps +that is why he is baldheaded. Beany dident dass to +say nothing. + +then i hollered Beany did you hear old decon +Aspinwall sware at me? he wanted to know what +in hel and damation i was triing to do. that is prety +talk for a decon aint it? + +i shood think he wood feel ashaimed the nex time +he speeks in prair meeting. + +i cood see the decon talking to the minister xcited, +and Misses Peezley was talking xcited two. but +Beany dident dass to say nothing. so i hollered +again to Beany did you see old Rhody Shatuck hold +up her skirts and hiper for the woods? did you +ever see sutch skinny legs? then old man Shatuck +run down the bank and hunted round for a rock but +i gnew he coodent find one becaus there aint enny +rocks there and he tride to break a lim off a tree +to plug at me and he hollered and sed he would brake +my back, but i gnew he coodent get me and i hollered +again to Beany o Beany aint it lucky the minister is +married becaus all the wimmen is hanging round +him and Beany dident dass to say nothing, but they +all got together and talked and then the minister +come down the bank and called me to come in and +he wood give me my fifty cents if i wood go strait +home but i sed not mutch i dont come where you can +get a holt on me and lam time out of me. + +well he sed i will not hurt you but i sed you sed +you wood pay me and you dident and i cant trust +you. he turned red as a beat and sed i am verry +sorry that you acuse me of being untroothful but +here is your money if you will come near enuf so +i can toss it into the boat. so i backed the boat in +holding my oars ready to row out if he tride to +grab the boat or to gump in but he dident do eether +but throwed the fifty cent peace into the boat and i +started for home. + +i gess it was about time for i began to feel prety +quear. my head aked and there was black specks +before my eys and my face and hands burned like +fire and smarted and my boans aked. + +i gess i shall have to stop here for i hear mother +coming up with my chicken broth and tost and am +most starved to deth. father says i weig 2 pounds +less than nothing and my arms and legs is jest like +pipe stems or spider legs. + +Continnude from the last. + +August 29 186---when i got home i hiched the +boat and my head went round so i had to set down. +then i got up and went home. mother saw me and +sed what is the matter with your face it is as red +as fire. i sed i gess the muskeeters done it. she +asted me if i wanted enny supper but i sed i dident +ever want to eat again but i wanted a drink of water. +so i drunk sum water and went up stairs. then i +begun to feel bad and caled mother and she come +up jest in time. i was awful sick. father come up +and Aunt Sarah and they held my head and run in +and out of the room with wash boles and towels. o +i was awful sick and mother sed for mersy sakes +what have you been eating and father sed for goddlemity +sake what haven't you been eating? + +bimeby i felt a little better only my face and hands +burned and itched. mother sed she dident like the +looks of it and she never gnew a feller to be sick at +his stomack with a red face and hands. so she wet a +towel in cold water and put it on my face and hands +and bimeby i gess i went to sleep. + +sumtime in the nite i began to feel sick again and +had awful panes in my stomack and i called mother +again. this time i was awful sick again and father +and mother and Aunt Sarah were verry busy for a +long time. bimeby i wasent so sick to my stomack +but my panes were wirse and father went for docter +Perry. he was gone a long time before he come +back with him. doctor Perry he took a look at me +and sed poison ivory, so he got it did he. then he +felt of my stomack and looked at by tung and felt +my pulce and heard me grone and gave me a dose +of castor oil and then he took out a little popsquirt +the litlest i ever see and he sed i gess i shall have to +give you a subteranian interjection. i thougt a +interjection was a part of speach like alas and o and +ah. ennyway that is what the grammar says. + +but this wasent that kind for the docter run the +sharp point of that little popsquert whitch was jest +as sharp as a needle rite into my arm. it hurt like +time and i hollered but after he had pulled it out i +began to feel kind of lite and floty and the ferst i +gnew the pane was gone and i dident know nothing +more. + +well the next morning i felt a little beter but not +enuf to get up and not enuf to eat but after a while +i felt wirse again and mother sent for doctor Perry +again and he come and give me some more medecine +and another subteranian interjection whitch put me +to sleep again. the next time i woke up again i +coodent open one ey and only see a teeny bit out of +the other, but i felt better, only i iched feerful and +smarted. doctor Perry laffed when he come in and +sed i looked funny but not so funny as old E. O. +Luvrin. he sed all the peeple whitch set at one table +had it and had it wirse than i did, but i was sicker +the other way. + +he sed that all the docters had been up day +and nite and always were buzy when there was a +chirch picknic. he sed that if he had his way chirch +picknics wood not be aloud enny more than prize +fites and cock fites. he sed that the peple were prety +mad with me and thougt i done it purpose, but he +told them if i had done it a perpose i woodent have +been fool enuf to tuch the ivory myself, whitch was +prety good for the docter. ennyway i give him +plenty of biziness. i suppose i hadent augt to have +sed what i did about Missis Shatucks legs and old +Misses Peezleys fit, but i aint sorry for what i sed +about the old decon swaring. i hadent done nothing. +jest cougt a eal. i must have left him in the boat. +gosh when i get well enuf to go down to the boat he +will be in auful smelly condition. i am sory i forgot +him. + +Well i had to stay in bed 4 days. most of the time +i had web cloths on my head and coodent see nothing. +Cele come up and read Wild Mag the Trapers Bride +and a new novil Dair Devvil Dave the Dead Shot. +she oferred to read the 92th palsam to me but i told +her i dident feal strong enuf yet so she read 2 more +chapters of Dair Devvil Dave instead. + +Beany come over with a tame rat tide with a +string. he wasent very tame and bit Beany 2 +times. Potter Goram brogt his collexion of butterflise +and a live green snaik. mother woodent come +in until he put the snaik in his poket. the 2 Chadwicks +Puz and Bug came in twise and fit for me, in +the ferst fite Puzzy got a black ey and in the 2th +fite Bug got a bludy nose. they was good fites and +jest about even. i tell you they is always redy to +help a frend. + +Ed Tole brougt up his rooster and had arainged +a fite with Gimmy Fitzgeralds rooster but jest as +they was going to set them a going the old minister +called to see if i was ded and when he found i wasent +he made a long call and praid fer me and told me i +had sinned deaply but wood be forgiven if i had +faith. all the time i cood see Ed and Gimmy peeking +round the corner of the barn and wateing till the +old minister had went so they cood have their rooster +fite. i was afrade they wood have it behine the +barn where i coodent see it and i thout that old minister +never wood go. while he was there he saw +the bible open to the 92th palsam and he sed it is +very grattifiing to me to see that you are reading the +bible and i sed i wasent reading it becaus i coodent +read ennything yet, but my sister Cele comes up and +reads to me and he sed she is a very good girl indeed +and i have heard she is very diffeernt from the rest +of the Shute family. i sed yes sir. then he looked +round some moar and found Wild Mag the Trapers +Bride whitch was rite on the table. i wood have hid +it only i coodent get it unless i piled out of bed and +i dident think it was proper to get up in my shert +tale befoar the minister. so i hoaped he woodent +see the novil but he did and he picked it up and +looked at it and read the naim and held it jest as if it +was a bull toad or a snaik and then he sed are you +reading this vile trash and i sed yes sir, and he sed +how cood you read it with your eyes swole up, and i +sed i cood see sum. he sed you jest told me you +coodent see to read. i dident know what to say so +i sed yes sir. then he sed awful stern do you meen +to tel me that your sister Celia---and jest then +mother she come in and sed i am afrade mister Barrows +that we hadent aught to disturb our pashent +too long. he isent verry strong yet. + +and he said that is true Misess Shute but he has +made some staitments about this improper book that +i think it is my duty to look into and he held up +Wild Mag the Trapers Bride and mother she sed it +seems as if Mr. Shute and i are compitent to deside +what our children are to read. + +and he sed but my dear Misses Shute this is a +verry improper book indeed and mother she sed have +you read it and he sed god forbid i wood not disgraice +my inteligents by reading sutch a book, and +my mother she sed how do you know then it is a +impropper book without reading it? and he sed +how can a bok of the naim of Wild Mag the Trapers +Bride be a good book and mother she sed she had +read it and there was nothing impropper at all in it. + +i dident know she had read it so when the minister +had went off kind of stiflegged i asted her if she +dident thing it was a riping story and she sed no she +dident see how i cood read it but she had read it to +see if there was ennything impropper in it and they +wasent. she sed she only read it to see if there was +ennything really rong in it. she dont care for sutch +stories i am afrade. then she asted if i wanted +ennything and i sed no and she went down stairs. +then when she had went i clim out of bed and waived +my hand to Ed and Gimmy and they come out with +their rosters under their arms and set them a going +and they hadent made more than a dozen gumps at +eech other when in come old mother Moulton with +sum gelly and custerd for me and she stoped the fite +and jawed the boys and asted them if they dident +know enny beter than to have a rooster fite in the +yard of a poar boy whitch had nearly dide only a +few days ago and Ed and Gimmy sed no mam we +dident know he had been so sick and we woodent +have did it and they picked up their roosters and +went home and i skiped into bed prety lively for a +boy whitch had nearly dide a few days ago. so +when she come up i was in bed and i et the custerd +and part of the gelly and it was bully. i wish she +hadent come so soon. that wood have been a good +rooster fite. + +i set up most haff of the time today. tomorrow +i am going downstairs. Fatty Gilman come down +today and brought me 2 oranges and a red bananner. +mother let me eat the oranges but woodent let me +eat the bananner. i dont know what she done with +it. i supose sumone et it. enyway i dident. + +Aug. 30 186---today i went out in the yard. it +was brite and fair all day. lots of the felers come +up and had a tirnament. first they had a match +throwing green apples on a stick. Puzzy Chadwick +throwed the furtherest. he threw one from my +yard across the high school yard and it went throug +a window in old Heads cariage shop. it was so far +that when the men in that room piled out swaring +they dident supose it was one of us and thy swore +at John Toomy and 2 other fellers in the school +yard. + +Pewt was the next best. perhaps it wood have +went as far as Puzzys but sumthing stoped it. what +stoped it was a mans head. i dont know who the +man was but when that apple hit him rite on the +back of his head he throwed down sum boards he +was luging into the shop and clim the fense and +chased John Toomey and the 2 other felers way +down south street. i gess he dident catch them +becaus he swore so when he come back and if he had +cougt them and licked them he wood have felt better. +men always do. + +so we dident throw enny more apples. so then +we had sum rassels and the twin Browns and Potter +Goram had a mach wigling their scalps and ears. +Harry Brown beat on a scalp wigling and Potter on +ear wigling. the 2 Chadwicks Puzzy and Bug fit +again and neether licked. + +then we had a spitting match. Ed Tole beat. he +always does. then mother come out and sed i had +been out long enuf. so i went in. i had a pretty +good day. + + + + +September 1. brite and fair. it seams bully to +be well again and to see the fellers and to go in +swimming and fishing. i havent went in swimming +or fishing since i have ben sick but i am going in in +a day or too. i can eat things now whitch is better +than enything. a feller cant do mutch unless he has +a good apetite. father says there is one thing whitch +has kept me back all these years. he sed that if i had +had a beter apetite when i went to that picknic i cood +have et nine pecks of stuff insted of only five. he +sed he wood have to get the doctor to give me a +tonick the nex picknic time so that i can do a gob +that will be a credit to the family. he sed enny +healthy boy witch can go to a chirch picknic and +only eat 5 meesly pecks of food aint doing jestice to +himself or his frends and he hoaps i will do beter +nex time. he says he dont want me to make a hog +of myself but he does want me to make a record +that he can be proud of. he says i can be champeen +if i only try hard. + +i never know whether father is goking or not, +but i think this time he must be goking. ennyway +it wasent becaus i et two mutch that made me sick, +it was becaus i got poizoned by poizen ivory leeves +and that stuffed up my stomack. if it hadent been +for that i bet i woodent have been sick. then going +so long without ennything to eat and wirking hard +dident do me enny good. they are still mad with +me. i am sorry now i sed what i did. when a +feller has lade between life and deth for 3 days he +looks at things diferent from what they wood if +he was well and was going round with fellers like +Pewt and Beany and Whach and Fatty and Pop and +Medo and Tady and Skinny and fellers like them. + +So i have been thinking over what i have did and +sed and i am very mutch ashaimed of myself. if +enny other feller had went and sed things about +my mother and sister or about aunt Sarah and my +father that i sed about old Rody Shatuck and Misses +Peezley and Decon Aspinwall i wood have felt like +giving him a bang in the snoot. i wood have did it +if he wasent two big, and if he was i wood have +triped him up sum nite with a roap or plunged him +with ripe tomatose or rotten egs when he had got +on his best close. + +but i needent be afraid that ennyone wood say ennything +against my folks becaus they dont have fits +and dont run round after ministers and dont hold +up their skerts xcept when there is a mouse round +and that is always at home where peeple cant see +them. so i shant have to bat ennyone for that but +that dont make enny difference becaus i have did +rong. + +so i have thougt it over and last nite when the +band was playing departed days and the romance +from Leclare in the band room i desided i wood +wright a letter to all the peeple i had sassed and +beg their pardon. it is prety tuff to do it but it +aint haff as tuff as being snaiked rite up befoar +them by your father and made to beg their pardon. +i have had to do this quite a number of times. so +this morning when i woke up and had brekfast i +remembered what i desided and i went up to my room +and rote a lot of letters to peeple. i gess when +father finds it out he will think i am prety good +feller after all. + +it took me a long time to do it and i hated to +waist the time becaus it is prety near the last weak +of vacation but i gnew i wood feel beter when i +had done it and i done it. this is what i rote to +decon Aspinwall. + + +decon Aspinwall + Congregasional Chirch + Exeter New Hampshire +dear sir i have been thinking over what i sed to +you when i hollered to Beany about your swaring +at me at the picknic last weak and i done verry +rong and please to forgive me. of coarse it wasent +so mutch becaus you swore so but becaus you are +a decon of the chirch and speek in prair meating +and so you hadent augt to have did it. but that is +no xcuse for me to sass you. father sed i wasent +verry mutch to blaim. he says he dont object to +swaring but when a man tries to be a decon and +plug ugly at the saim time it is the dam hippockrasy +of it that maiks a man mad. i only tell you this +to show you i was not verry mutch to blaim. but +i am verry sorry i done it. you needent tell father +what i sed, but i hoap you will try hard not to sware +so another time when there is wimmen and girls and +a minister present jest becaus a boy done what they +told him to do and cougt a eal. + + yours very respectively + Harry Shute + +i bet that decon will be glad when he gets that +leter. i bet there aint many fellers whitch can write +a better letter than that. i bet Beany coodent. i bet +Pewt coodent eether. this is the letter i rote to old +Misses Peezley. + + +Mrs. Sofire Peezly + Exeter New Hampshire +dear Misses Peezly. i am verry sorry for hollering +to Beany them things about you. when you +had that fit i suposed it was becaus you was mad +and i was kind of mad two becaus i had been +cheeted out of my fifty cents by the minister, becaus +i cougt a eal after they had told me to do it. then +i remembered that my father had sed once that you +had them fits when you wanted sumthing and kept +having them until you got what you wanted and +that he pitted mister Peezly. + so i dident think when i hollered to Beany and i +wish you wood pleese forgive me. + it is a awful thing to have fits when you cant help +it. mother says that peeple whitch have fits have to +be verry careful not to get xcited. so when you go +to a picknic again and enny feller throws a bull toad +or a snaik into your lap you must reflek that a bull +toad and a green snaik never bite or scrach and aint +poizen. if you had gnew that at the picknic you wood +not have had that fit. mother says that if peeple +keep having fits they get wirse and sumtimes go +crasy. so i hoap you will forgive me and will be +very cairful not to get xctied. it is dredful to have +fits and i am verry sorry for you. + + yours verry respectively + Harry Shute + +there i think she will be verry mutch pleesed when +she gets that leter. she wont think i am the wirst +boy in town. + +this is the letter i rote to Rhody Shatuck. + + +Missis Rody Shatuck + Exeter New Hampshire + dear Missis Shatuck. I am verry sorry for hollering +to Beany at the picknic last weak about your +skinny legs. i woodent have did it if i had been +well, but i had been poizened by poizen ivory leeves +and the minister had cheeted me out of my fifty +cents and everybody had jawed me becaus i cougt +a eal and so i done it. if you had a hair lip or a +squint ey or a wenn on your neck like old Nat +Mason it woodent be so bad but it is a dredful +thing to have such skinny legs as you have got and +i am verry sorry for you becaus i have got skinny +legs myself and the fellers have made fun of me +ever since i can remember and it is awful to be made +fun of all the time. if i was a girl i cood cover them +up with my skert and nobody wood know they was +skinny unless i fell down or the wind blew two +hard or i pulled up my skert like you done at the +picknic. + so if i was you i wood be very cairful not to pick +up your skert like you done at the picknic and nobody +will know how skinny your legs is. sumtimes +i wish fellers wore skerts but i gess i would +ruther have skinny legs. so pleese to forgive me +for what i done. + + yours very respectively + Harry Shute. + +this is the leter i rote to the minister. + + +the referent minister of + the ferst Congrigasionel Chirch + dear sir. i thougt i wood wright you and tell you +how sorry i am that i sed the sassy things to you +whitch i sed at the picknic last weak. i am also +verry sorry indeed that i douted your word when +you sed you wood give me the fifty cents. if you +had been ennything but a minister i wood not have +thougt you wood cheet me but i have heard my +father say that ministers has so many things give +to them and has so many old mades and fulish +wimmen after them that they aint mutch to blaim +if they forgets sumthings whitch they hadent augt +to forget. you see i dident know you verry well +and i thought you mite be one of them kind of +ministers but i found out that you wasent when you +paid me the fifty cents and done as you agreed when +you promised not to grab me and lam time out of +me. i was reddy for you and if you had grabed that +boat i wood probly have rew so hard that you wood +have been puled into the water all over. i am glad +you done as you agreed and paid me. you were +prety lait in doing it and i was not to blaim for +thinking you wood not keep your agreement, espesially +as the wimmen all told you not to pay me +a cent. + so i am verry sorry for what i sed and i think +you done prety well for a congirigasional minister +and i hoap you will forgive me even if i am a +unitarial and done beleeve in hel as you do. + + yours very respectively + Harry Shute. + +i bet when old mister minister gets that leter he will +wish i had staid in his chirch. but it is two lait +now. i bet they will all be sorry i left the chirch. +it aint many fellers whitch are willing to oan up +that they are rong as i have done in these leters. +my granmother usted to say that a soft answer +tirnith away rath. so i bet i have made sum frends +by them leters. + +when i got throug wrighting the leters it was almost +time for dinner but i had a little moar time +and i rote one mor to miss Tabithy Wilkins. she +is a old made and she was xcited when i holered +to Beany about the wimmen chasing after the minister +and i dident mean her and so i thougt i had +augt to tell her so she woodent wurry. so i rote +her a leter two. this is what i rote her. + + +Miss Tabithy Wilkins + Exeter New Hampshire +dear miss Wilkins. when i hollered to Beany at +the picknic last weak about the wimmen running +after the minister you thought i ment you and you +got xcited. i thougt i wood wright and tell you who +i ment. i dident meen you at all. i ment your 2 +sisters Mary Ann and Unice and i ment missis +Angilina Annis and Feeby Derborn and 2 or 3 +others. + i hoap you have not wurred about this. i rote +jest as soon as i cood for i have been awful sick +and lade between life and deth for a long time and +coodent see ennything becaus my eys were all swole +up by poizen ivory. i gnew you wood be glad to +know i dident meen you, but i wood speek to your +2 sisters if i was you. + + yours very respectively + Harry Shute. + +after i had rote that i got sum stampls of mother. +she wanted to know what i wanted them for and +when i told her what i had did she sed it was verry +brave of me to admiit i was rong and i must feel +verry happy over it and i sed i did and i et my +dinner and put the leters in the post ofice and all i +have got to do now is to have a good time for the +nex 2 weaks. + +September 3th, 186---brite and fair and hot as +time. i dident have enny chanse to wright ennything +yesterday. i dident feel mutch like it neether. i dont +believe enny feller had so mutch truble in 2 weaks +as i had last nite. to hear father talk you wood +think i was a bank burglar or a cannybile whitch +kills and eats children. i have been jawed and licked +and kep in my room and sent to bed without super, +only Cele brougt it up after father had went down +town, and had evry thing did to me jest becaus i +rote them leters and i dont see what there was in +them leters to make ennyone mad. i coodent wright +enny beter leters than them if i tride a hole weak, +and the peeple whitch got them is feerful mad with +me and father says that posiably they may persecute +me at law and i may have to go to jale for what i +rote and father says i have got him into a feerful +scraip becaus i told them peeple what he sed about +them. but then he sed it so i dont see why he shood +be mad, and what he sed is true and he says that +evrybody knows it is true so i done see why he +shood be mad. + +the wirst of it is mother is mad with me two, that +is to say mother aint mad xactly for she dont get +mad but she is verry mutch displeesed with me and +sed i done rong in wrighting to them as i did. i +dont see why. ferst she says i done rong by hollering +to Beany about them and she was glad i begged +their pardon and now she says i done rong becaus +i dident stop when i begged their pardon and not +say enny more. of course i had to xplain things to +them. ennyway i dont understand it now and i +dont beleeve i shall if i have to go to jale for forty-five +years. i wonder if peeple ever do stay in jale +forty-five years. peraps i shall find out sum day. +i dont care. ennything i sbetter than having evrybody +mad with you. a feller mite as well be ded. +i wish i was ded. if i was ded peraps sum of them +wood be sorry. + +well day before yesterday was a bully day. i +went fishing in the morning with Pewt and Fatty +Melcher and cougt 2 hogbaks, old lunkers and 3 +pickeril and a big roach almost as big as the one i +left in my jaket poket the time the folks thougt +there was a ded rat in the wall of the house and +got old man Staples to pull down the plastering. + +then in the afternoon i went butterfling with Potter +Goram and got sum splendid red and black ones +on the nettle flowers by the side of the road. father +he came home from Boston good-natured and was +glad to see i was so mutch better and we had the +roach and pickeril for supper and they was fine. +after supper father went down town for sumthing +and we was setting round the table. Cele had read +the 95nd palsam and was reading Dare Devvil Dave +the Ded Shot and i was wateing for father who +sed he wood bring me a new novil from Fogg and +Fellers store. Keene was reading the Fireside Companion, +mother lets her read that insted of the New +York Legger. Georgie was putting a picture puzel +together and Annie and Franky and the baby had +been put to bed when i heard father comin up the +steps. as soon as he opened the door i sed have +you got my novil and he sed the thing you will get +is a thundering good licking insted of a novil and i +see i a minit that he was mad. so i sed what have +i done and he sed what in thunder did you wright +that devilish leter to that infernal idiut Aspinwall +for? and i sed i done it to beg his pardon and +mother she sed i done rite. then father he sed that +is a prety way to beg a mans pardon by telling him +i sed he was a dam hippokrit. then i sed i dident +say you sed he was a dam hippokrit i only sed you +sed when a man tries to be a decon and a plug ugly +one at the same time it was the dam hippockerasy +of the thing that made you mad. i dident say you +sed he was a dam hippokrit. + +father he sed for goddlemitys sakes what is the +difference? what rite had you to tell him that ennyway +and i sed well you did say it dident you? and +he sed of coarse i sed it and it is true but if you +dont know enny more than to tattle evrything i say +at home i will give you a good sound thrashing rite +now and i thougt i was going to get it when mother +sed wait George to father and then she sed to me +what did you wright to decon Aspinwall and i cood +remember all of it and i told her jest what i had +rote and she leened back in her chair and begun to +laff and laffed and laffed until i thought she wood +fall out of her chair and Aunt Sarah she laffed almost +as hard as mother and father he begun to laff +and then we all laffed. i laffed becaus i see father +laffin and i sed to my self it is all rite he wont lick +me now. so i laffed. after we had stoped laffing +mother sed how did you find out about the letter +George and father he sed i went into Fogg and +Fellers store to get your novil and while i was talking +to Jack Fogg up come decon Aspinwall as red +as a beat and sed what do you mean George Shute +by calling me a dam hippokrit? and i sed i havent +called you a dam hippokrit or enny sort of a hippokrit +and he sed yes you have and i have it hear in +black and white and he shook a leter rite in my face. +so i sed i dont know what you meen. i havent rote +any leter about you and he sed i know it but your +misable son has ritten this atrosius epissle and you +shall pay for it sir, you shall pay for it. well all +the peeple in the store were lissening and i was a +geting mad and so i sed well decon i know you aint +drunk for you are to cussed meen to pay for a drink +and so i gess you must be crasy but to keep you +from going cleer out of your mind i will read the +leter and i was sirprized. but i tried to smooth it +over and sed now decon do you supose for one minit +that i ever thougt that of you, mutch less sed it? +and he sed yes sir that is jest what a man like you +wood say and think two. well i kep my temper +and tride to smooth him down but the more i tride +the mader he got and finally he told me i was a +defaimer of innosent persens and that he wood maik +me proove it in coart. then i got mad and sed look +hear you longnosed old vagrant, sue and be damned, +but i have heard enuf of your chin musick and if +you say 2 words moar i will smash that sankit +monious old snout of yours so flat that they wont be +able to see your ears. then i told him to go to hell +and i come home. but it was the bigest fool performance +to wright a leter like that i ever heard of +and if you ever do ennything again like that i will +tan the hide off of you. + +i sed i woodent and i hoaped nobody wood say +enny more but jest then mother sed i hoap you +were moar cairful about the other leters and father +he sed what have you sent enny others and i sed yes +sir and he sed who elce did you wright to and i told +him and he sed what did you wright to Missis Peezly +and i sed i told her i was verry sorry for what i +hollered to Beany and asted her to forgive me, and +he sed are you sure and i sed yes sir hoap to die +and cross my throte. and he sed what did you wright +to Rody Shatuck and i sed i rote her jest about +the saim as i had rote to Missis Peezly and he asted +if i was sure and i sed hoap to die and cross my +throte. and he asted me what i rote to the minister +and i sed i asked him to forgive me becaus i douted +his word and for sassing him and he sed are you +sure and i sed hoap to die and cross my throte. + +then he asted if i rote the same to the other peeple +and i sed yes ser and he sed well thank the good +lord you had more sence than you did when you +rote the leter to old Aspinwall. and i sed yes sir +I am glad i had so i thougt i was all rite when the +door bell rang kind of mad. i can always tell how +a person feals when he rings our doorbell and when +he neerly pulls it out i know he is mad. i felt as +if sumthing was going to hapen jest then. + +well Cele went to the door and i heard a woman +asing if father was in and i reconised Misses Peezlys +voice and i gnew she was mad and i wondered what +she was mad for. so father he went in and i cood +her her yapping away at him and cood hear father +talking but coodent hear what they was saying. +mother sed i hope you told your father the truth and +i sed yes mam. bimeby father come in and called +mother and she went in and i cood hear her talking. +jest then the door bell rang and Cele let in old Rody +Shatuck and a minit afterwerds in come Angelina +Annis and Unice and Mary Ann Wilkins and Feeby +Derborn all of them jest mad enuf to fite. i cood tell +they was mad by the way they asted for father. i +tell you i got fealing prety sick but i coodent see +what they was mad about. when they went into +the parlor you wood have thougt it was a chirch +meating when they was voating for the carpet in the +vestry. evry woman talked to onct jest as loud as +they cood. i never head such a noise in my life +before. bimeby father come in and told me to come +in and told me not to say a word unless to answer +questions that he asked. i hated awful to go in but +i had to. when i got in they was all there with there +faces as red as beats and mad enuf to bit spikes. +Rody Shatuck called me a misable brat and old +Missis Peezly called me a low minded retch and +made a mosshun as if she was going to paist me one +with her old umbrela, but father told me to set down +in a chair by mother then Angelina sed to mother +that she augt to be ashaimed of herself for incurageing +me in my criminallity. that is what she sed +but i dident know what she ment. but father who +had not yipped a single yip sence i went in sed loud +now look hear Misses Shatuck i want you to understand +that you must keep Missis Shute out of this +discussion. you can say what you like to me or +about me and when you are all through i may have +sumthing to say but if ennyone of you say a word +disrespectful to her why then we will stop this thing +to onct. Now if you understan that go ahead. well +i gess they understood it for of all the talk you ever +heard, you wood have thought to thousand hens +was cakling. they jest give it to me and father. +father looked stern and serius but i thougt i cood +see sumthing in his eys that looked like he wanted to +laff, but mother dident look a bit like laffing. bimeby +when they had talked about a hour it seamed to me +they stoped. then father sed now young ladies i +am a grate deel older then you are and have tride +to look at the matter on both sides. why father aint +within a most a hundred years so old as eny of +them but he gnew how to pleese them. mother +looked mad but father went on. as for you Missis +Peezly nobody here ever heard of you having fits +or ennything else. i goke a good deel to home here +and i never goke about peeple i dont like. it is +always about peeple for which i have the greatest +respec and liking. i may have sed sumthing like +what he sed and if i did i hadent augt to have did +it, and woodent have did it if i had suposed that +this boy woodent have gnew better than to have +took it serius. i beg your pardon verry sincerely +and this boy must do it two. so father he done it +and i had to do it a 2th time. well she told father +she was sorry she lost her temper with him for +evrybody sed he was a perfick gentleman, but she +still thougt the boy had augt to be punished verry +sevearly for mottifiing her so. father he sed she +mite be very sure he wood attend to that and he +glore at me when he sed it as if he wood cut me into +40 peaces and she sed good nite to father and good +nite to mother and mother looked at her as if she +wasent there and old Missis Peezly tirned red and +snifed and went out stifleged. + +then father he sed to Rody Shatuck now Missis +Shatuck the last thing in the wirld that a yung lady +shood be ashamed of is to be slite and graiceful. +that is one of the menny things you had augt to be +proud of. there isnt a fat woman in this town +whitch dusent envy you for your graice and activity, +of coarse the boy was very infortunate in +his choice of words but i asure you that the only +thing he did was to call two publick atension to your +verry atractive figure. i am real sorry i was not +there to taik advantage of a most unusual oportunity. +and then old Rody gigled and sed she had +been told she had a fine figure but she dident like +to be told like i told it and father glore at me again +and sed it woodent happen again and she sed goodnite +to father and to mother and mother looked at +her as if she wasent there at all and she tirned red +and snifed and went off stifleged like old Missis +Peezly. + +then father sed to Mary Ann and Unice Wilkins +and Feeby Derborn. young ladies there probly aint +enny peeple that do as mutch for the moral uplif +of the chirch as those devoted young wimmen whitch +do so mutch to help the minister in his menny duties +in the chirch and parrish and when the history of +the chirch is rote you young ladies will occupy a +very high place on the role of onner. they always +is and always will be peeple whitch is consoomed +with gelousy and probly sum one has sed things and +my son has heard them. but i am sure young ladies +whitch is so kind harted as you have shew yourselfs +to be will not be two sevear on a boy whitch at the +time was sufering from poizen ivory and over eating +and as for his part he wood punish him sevearly +for saying what he did. + +so they sed if he wood do that it wood be all rite +and they sed it was a pleasure to talk with a man +who was so willing to do rite and to maik others +do rite and father sed it was a pleasure to meat and +talk to ladies of their standing in chirch and in +society and he shook hands with them and they sed +good nite to father and to mother and mother looked +at them jest as if they wasent there, and they all +tirned red and snifed and went off mad as time and +jest as stifleged as the others. + +well after they had went father looked at mother +kind of funny and scrached his hed and sed well +Joey, he calls mother Joey, you have got about as +mutch tack as a fire alarm on resurexion day and +mother sed George Shute do you realy mean to say +that you are going to whip him for lying to you after +what you have sed to them wimmen? and father +laffed and sed he had to do sumthing to teech me a +lesson and that one moar nite like this wood send +him to a mad house. and mother told him he lide to +them wimmen wirse than i had lide to him and he +sed it wasent lies it was dipplomercy and if she had +enny tack he wood have had them gnitting sox and +mittens for him, and mother snifed two. + +so then he took me up stairs and licked me. not +verry hard but moar than i desirved. but the wirst +was that i cant go out of the yard for 3 days and +nex weak is the last weak of vacation. i think it is +prety meen to treat a boy so whitch has lade between +life and deth for 3 days. i always get the +wirst of it when i try to be good. + +i never will try to be good again if i live a million +years. + + + + +September 4, 186- brite and fair. it mite jest +as well rane as not. i cant go out of the yard +today and none of the fellers have been up. i saw +Beany ride by on Jo Palmers back. i hollered at him +but he dident look. then Pewt went down throug the +high school yard with 2 oars over his shoulder. me +and Pewt aint so frendly now becaus old man Purinton +has bougt 2 boats, new ones and is leting them +to peeple for less than i get for mine. he has +painted them all white with a red rim and a picture +on the stirn and they dont enny peeple want my +boat. i wasent mad with Pewt but he feals so big +over his old boats that it maiks me sick. + +ennyway he mite have come over to see me when +i was sick and laid between life and deth 3 days. +sum other peeple mite have come. Lizzie Tole was +one of them. if it had been Beany she wood have +went to see him. + +i read in a book onct how a feller had a girl +whitch took up with another feller whitch had a +fine horse and buggy and a silver mounted harnis. +so this feller told her he had lost all faith in wimmens +consistency and had put them out of his life for +ever. so the girl laffed and told him all rite she +dident cair. so he went away with his hart curroded +with bitterniss and went to wirk in a hotel. He +wirked so hard that in 3 years he oaned the hotel +and had money in the bank. then the girl rote him +that she had always luved him and never had luved +the other feller but he rote her that the dye was +cast, he shood never marry. and he never did, so +his children never gnew a mothers cair. + +so i shall never marry like that feller who dident +and all on account of Beany. sumhow i cant get +mad with Beany. i had augt to menny times and +keep mad two but i cant do it. + +September 5, 186---i got up erly this morning +befoar father went to Boston and took cair of Nellie +and swept out the stable and luged in the water and +split a lot of wood and blacked fathers boots and +set up and had breckfast with him. i was hoaping +he wood let me go out of the yard. but he dident +say nothing about that but did say i had got to get +up evry morning befoar he goes away and do my +chores i done them so well this morning. i thougt +that was a prety mean thing for him to do. i wished +i hadent got up. well tonite father he caime home +mad and sed i was the bigest fool he ever see. he +sed i had blacked his boots with stove polish and +evrybody laffed at him. so i wont have to get up. +i had to black his boots over 2 times with Day and +Martins blacking befoar i cood get them to shine. +it was a awful long day in the yard. Beany brougt +his black and tan terrier over and we got Frank +Haines dog over and had a fite but jest as they +were going good mother come out and poared a +pale of water on them and they run off prety quuick. +neether licked. that is always the way. sumbody +always stops the good fites. + +it was Saterday nite and after i had luged in +about a milion pales of water and filled all the tubs +for the folks to taik there baths in father he sed +to mother, Joey, he calls her Joey, becaus her name +is Joanna. sumtimes when father wants to plage +her he calls her Johanna with a h and says she is +irish. she dont like that becaus she is inglish. +mother came to America when she was 3 years of +aig and so she doesent remember verry much about +ingland. father says mother dont understand gokes +becaus she is inglish and mother says she is glad +of it becaus a good menny of fathers gokes hadent +augt to be understood by ennybody. when she says +that father always laffs and says she is a goker +herself sumtimes. + +well i forgot what i was a going to say becaus +when i wright about my father and mother i dont +think about ennything else they are so bully. My +father was the best fiter in Exeter or ennywhere +elce. Ed Thursten told me that once he and father +went down to newmarket and a feller in the hotel +tride to lick father and father hit him a old he one +in the snout and gnocked him up 2 flites of stairs +and round 3 corners befoar he stoped. i bet they +aint many fellers whitch cood do that. ennyway +Ed was there and seen him do it and he says he +can show me the hotel and the stairs and the corners +he went round and the big dent in the wall where +he stoped. so i gess it must be so. i bet Beanys +father coodent do it. i bet Pewts coodent eether. + +evrybody likes father and calls him George and +he gokes with them and gets them to say funny +things and then he laffs and evrybody laffs. so he +dont never have to fite now. i am glad of it for i +shoodent like to se father fite even if he can lick +evrybody. + +gosh it is funny i forgot what i was going to say. +you see i think father and mother is about the best +peeple in the wirld. i dont know whitch is best. +father says mother is wirth 500 of him and he augt +to know becaus he has gnew her longer than i have. + +well father sed well Joey, he calls her Joey, how +has the boy behaived himself today and mother sed +he has done verry well indeed. so father he sed +to me what do you say if we go in swimming at +the gravil and i sed all rite i wood like to. so we +went down to the boat and i rew him up to the +gravil and we went in and had a grate swim. father +dont like to have me swim under water. he says +i stay under so long that he gets scart for fear that +i wont never come up. after we got back home he +let me go down town with him and after he had +been to old Tom Conners store and old Nat Weeks +and old Josh Getchels and Gid Lyfords we went +into Fogg and Fellows store and father bougt a +new novil for me. the naim of it is Grissly Ike +the Scalp Lifter. i bet it is a riper. i havent read +it yet becaus father sed as long as he let me go out +befoar my tirm of imprisenment was over i had +got to let Cele read it first. so she read it most all +the evining. she only read one palsam tonite. she +aint so religus as i thougt she was when they is a +new novil round. + +September 6, 186---brite and fair to-day and +cool. it feals like autum. i tell you i dont like to +have the summer go. one weak from nex munday +school begins. i hait to think of it. we will have +to do the old xamples about A. and B. and how +many squaire feet there is in 4 ackers 2 roods and +28 rods and New Hamshire is bounded on the +north by Maine on the east by long ileand Sound +on the south by Rode Iland and Conetticut and on +the west by New York, and the capital of Tennysee +is Tallyhassy and the capital of New York is Oswego +and things we lerned last year. sumtimes +i feal like saying to old Francis, who sed it aint, +but i know if i did he wood lam time out of me. +well i have got one moar weak. i hoap i wont be +kep in enny more. i cant spair a single minit. + +went to chirch today. the quire coodent sing becaus +sumthing was rong with the organ. only the +squeel keys wood go and they went as loud as a +steam whistle. the base keys woodent maik a single +yip. old Chipper Berley clim into the organ after +chirch was over and found that sumbody had stufed +a old pair of overhals and a old hat all spatered +with paint into the big pipe. Chipper told Beany +he done it and Beany he sed he dident hoap to die +an cross his throte and then Chipper he held up the +overhals and the hat and they both had I. M. Watson +rote on them and so Beany has lost his gob +this time forever so Chipper sed and he waulked +Beany out by the ear. Beany told me honest he +dident do it. he sed he pumped jest as hard as he +cood becaus he dident want to let the wind go out. +Chipper sed the reeson he pumped so hard was +becaus he gnew that all the wind wood go into the +squeel keys and sound awful. Beany feals prety +bad over it becaus he needed the money. he has +bougt sumthing at old Bill Morrils gewelry store. +I knew what it is two and who it is for but Beany +dont know i know. Beany will feal prety cheap if +he has to give it back to old Bill. praps she wont +give it back to Beany. then Beany will be in a +scraip. ennyway if she wont give it back Beany +wont never forgive her. i hoap she wont. it will +be tuf on Beany. + +September 7, 186---Beany is fealing prety bad. +he asted me if i cood lend him a dollar. honest i +coodent becaus i aint got it. he says he has got to +get a dollar ennyway. i lent him 40 cents so he +aint got to get but 60 cents moar. he tride to get +a gob today poasting bills but Cris Staples got it. +then Beany he went up to Chipper Berleys to get +his pay and Chipper told him he was lucky not to +get arested for distirbing a religus meating. so +Beany dont know what to do. he aint got ennything +to sell and i aint eether. he tride to borrow +it of Pewt but Pewt sed he dident have it. + +September 8, 186---they is a circus coming to +town next Friday. it was going to be in Portsmouth +but there was another circus got the the +circus grounds ferst and so they are coming to +Exeter. me and Pewt and Beany are going to get +a gob poasting bills. the bill poaster was in town +today with a red and blue and gold cart with 2 +calico horses and put up the big bills. he only had +2 big ones and dident have enny others and cant get +them until Wensday nite and he wants me and Pewt +and Beany to put them up in the nite so that when +the peeple get up in the morning they can see them +the ferst thing. the way he hapened to get us is +becaus Beanys father and Pewts father is painters +and paper hangers and so they went to them and +they wodent stay up all nite to do it and then he +asted if they was enny boys to do it for a dollar a +peace and a ticket and so we got the gob. we cant +tell ennyone jest what we have got to do but it is +bully. he told us that we was to put the pictuers +up in the rite places to make a show and atract the +attension of the peeple. where they cood see them +the best. so we are going to do it. he says the +secrit of poasting bills is to get them in the rite +places. he give us a list of the pictures. these are +them. the hippotymus the behemuth of hoaly rit. +the boar constricter whitch can crush and swalow a +hole dear or oxx at one meal. the hieener that by +stelth repairs to the graive yards at nite and digs +up the bodys of the ded and devours them. Jo Jo +the dog face man the ofspring of a babboon and a +aborrygine, the most repullsive haff human being +in the wirld. the stork which brings blessings to +the householes in the shape of babies. the cheater +or hunting lepard. the spider munkey, and the +tapir and the geraft. Pewt has got the list so peraps +i havent rote them all rite. we are going to +meat and deside where to poast them up as soon +as Pewt gets them. peraps tomorrow. + +Sept. 9, 186---rany today and cold as time. i tell +you it ranes and blows. Aunt Sarah says may be +it is the equinoxious storm. that usually comes on +the 22th. i hoap it wont rane Wensday nite. we +cant poast up bills in a rane storm and if we dont +poast up them bills we dont get no dollar and no +ticket and what will Beany do then? Beany is in +a tite place. if he cant get that dollar he has got +to get that present back from Lizzie Tole. if she +wont give it back then Beany may have to go to +jale and he wont never forgive her. if she has to +give it back she will be mad with Beany forever +and ever. i almost hoap it will rane. no i dont +eether. it will be two tuf on Beany. what ever +Beany has did to me i like him and i hoap it wont +rane and that Beany will get his dollar. i cant be +mutch fairer than that can i? + +this afternoon we went up in the barn on the +hay, me and Pewt and Beany and talked over where +we are going to poat up the bills nex Wensday nite +tomorrow. it raned so that Pewt dident dass to +bring over the bills. they are in his shop all roled +up in a role as big as my leg and tide tite. so we +looked at our list and we are going to put the picture +of the cheeter on decon Aspinwalls house. he is the +bigest cheeter we know and everybody says so. + +the stork we are going to put on Mrs. Clarisser +Dorsons front door. Pewt says he heard his mother +say that the dorsons xpect a baby pretty soon. so +we all agreed that wood be the place to put it. + +we all got jawing about where we shood put the +picture of the elefant. Beany thougt it had augt to +go on Horris Cobbs front door. Pewt thougt it +had augt to go on old mister Gechels store and i +thougt it had augt to go on Fatty Frogs house. +Horris Cobb is the fattest man in town but he aint +tall. odd mister Gechel is feerful tall, almost ten +feet i gess but he aint verry big as Fatty Fogg is lots +taller than Horris and 3 times as big round as old +mister Gechel. so we decided to put the elefant on +Fatty Foggs house and the Giraft on Gechels house. + +the hieener we are going to put on the berrying +ground gait rite under where it says we are all passing +away. you know the hieener digs up people and +devours them and Beany says that will go well with +the sine. that was a good one for Beany. i bet +that circus man will say we are prety smart felers. + +the howling munkey we are going to put on the +Methydist parsonage. the reverent Josiar Higgins +has got white whiskers on his throte jest like the +howling munkeys and i bet he can howl as loud +sundays. so that is the rite place for that picture. +i never gnew befoar how mutch beter it is to have +things did rite. + +we are going to put the picture of the tapir on +my uncle Gilman's house. Pewt thougt it had augt +to be put on Ikey Blums house only Ikey aint got +any house and his shop is not on enny street. Ikey +has a old plug horse and colects bones and rags and +iron. he has the longest nose i ever see. it goes +way down over his mouth. i dont see how he can +eat. my uncle Gilman has got the next longest nose. +his nose is a good deal biger than Ikeys but it aint +so long. but uncle Gilman is lucky becaus he has +got a house to put the picture on. he can blow his +nose so it sounds jest like a cornet. not so good as +Bruce Briggam can play the cornet but prety good. + +i bet he will be pleesed that he beat Ikey and Ikey +will be mad, but nobody can have evrything in this +wirld. + +the picture of the boar constricter we are going +to put on the front gait of old decon Eberneaser +Petigrew. he goes to all the chirch supers and eats +moar than enny man there. one time Charlie Folsom +the resterant man whitch makes clam chowder +wanted to see how mutch old Eben cood eat and he +invited him in and made a hoal wash boiler full of +chowder. Charlie sed he put in a peck of clams and +2 galons of milk and a lot of potatoes and onyiuns +and he invited old decon Petigrew in and he et +and et and et and et. Charlie begun to get scat for +feer he wood bust. bimeby he stoped eating becaus +he coodent hold enny moar. he had et all but about +4 quats. Charlie dident sleep enny that nite he +wurrid so about decon. he thougt sure he wood die +befoar morning. so he got up erly the nex morning +and come down town. when he went by Ebens +house he looked up to see if there was enny craip +or a reath on the door. there wasent so he gnew +he hadent dide but he gessed he was prety sick. well +what do you think when he got to his resterant there +stood old Eben all rite wateing for him and he told +Charlie that if he dident want the rest of that chowder +he wood take it. so Charlie he give it to him +and he says he must be jest like a boar constricter. + +father has always told me to do evry thing rite +that i attempt to do. he tells me that all the time. i +gess he will find that i can do things rite as well as +the nex one. tonite when we come out of the barn +it had stoped raning and the sun come out i hoap +it will be good wether tomorrow and nex day two. +Pewt is going to make 2 buckets of paist. me and +Beany are to get the flour for it and Pewt makes +it. he knows how better than we do. he and Beany +fernish the brushes to put on the paist. i fernish a +lantirn if it is two dark. + +September 10, 186---brite and fair and jest bully +wether. i got up late today and i am glad of it +becaus i have a hard days wirk tonite, father told +me this morning that i must distinkly understand +that there aint going to be no fooling tonite but +jest wirk. i prommised we woodent do nothing but +wirk and put the bills in the best places so as to +pleese evrybody. that is what the circus man told +us not to do enny damige and not to get ennyone +mad but to put the bills where they will attrack the +most atension. and that is why he is to pay us so +mutch money and give us a ticket apeace to the show. + +after breckfast i split up enuf wood for today +and luged in 2 pales of water and went over to +Pewts. Beany was there and we opened the role +of pictures and they were old lunkers. gosh the +howling munkeys looked jest like the reverent Josier +Higgins and the cheeter looked kind of slanty eyd +and meen like Decon Aspinwall. the boar constricter +was swalowing a live cow hoal. i bet peeple will +laff. and the tapir honest he looked kind of like +my uncle Gilman. + +well we are going to go ferst over the river to +uncle Gilmans and then to old mister Gechel and +then to Pettigrews and then to Clarisser Dorsons +and then to Decon Aspinwalls and then to the reverent +Josier Higgins and so on. Pewt thinks it will +taik 2 hours to do it good so they cant be toar down +if we done it with tacs ennybody whitch dident like +it cood yank it off eesy but if we paist it on with a +little gum arab in it, it will have to be scrope off +with a gnife. so Pewt says and i gess he knows, +we carried up 2 paper bags of flour and Pewt made +2 buckits of paist. we paisted a picture of Flora +Temple the fastest trotting horse in the wirld on a +mahoginy buro that Pewts father is polishing for +Doctor Goram Potters grandfather and i bet it will +taik a weak to get it off. so i gess Pewts paist is +good paist. we are going to meat at Beanys at +haff past 12 oh clock. father is going to wake me +at 12 oh clock. i hoap he wont forget to wake up. +ennyway it wont make enny difference for i shant +go to sleep. i bet we will have a good time. + +Beany says it is all up with him if he dont get +that dollar. he says he will be the ferst of his +family to go to jale. that is what a feller gets for +being in debt. Beany had augt to have wated. but +i supose when a feller gets going with a girl he +dont think. Beany is not bad but thinkless. i hoap +it will be a lessen to him. he is feerfully wurrid +but he needent be for if the wirst comes to wirst i +shall sell one of my hens. i havent told him this +becaus if he gnew it perhaps he wood spend the +dollar for sumthing else for her. but while i have +a hen to my naim Beany shall not go to jale. i wood +not go to bed at all tonite if father woodent know it +but if my lite aint out by 10 oh clock he hollers for +me to go to bed lively. so i am going to read +Grissly Ike the Scalp Lifter until 10 oh clock and +then go to bed and lissen for the clock to strike 12. + +September 13, 186---this is saterday. i almost +wish i was ded. i havent been out of my room +sence Thirsday xcept to split wood and lug water +and feed the sheep and horse and hens. father says +one moar sumer like this one will make a gibbering +manioc of him. he says there must be sumthing +rong with me. he dont know wether he had augt +to lick it out of me or send me to the reform school +or to a place where they keep idjuts. that is the +way he talks to me but when old Decon Aspinwall +and the reerent Josier Higgins and Clarisser Dorsens +husband and old man Pettigrew sed i had augt +to be sent to the reform school he told them to go +strait to hell and try it if they thougt they cood. +Beanys father has kep Beany in his room and Pewts +father has kep Pewt in. the only time i can speak +to Beany is after father has went to Boston and +Beanys father has went down town we holler across +from our chamber winders. we havent seen Pewt +for his chamber is on the back of his house. i asted +Beany what he was going to do about the dollar and +he says he xpected the poliseman to come for him +enny time. i told him if the poliseman come to tell +him to come over and take the best hen i had. +Beany felt better and sed i was a trew frend. he +says it is a pity things is as they is but he cant help +it. a feller cant help they way he feals sumtimes. +peraps i am lucky that Beany has cut me out for if +i had cut him out i mite be xpecting to go to jale. +if i hadent heard father tell them men to go to hell +i wood be afrade of going tojale or the reform +school. i dont beleeve reform school or jale is enny +wirse then staying in your room when a circus +paraid is going by on the nex strete. + +i think i will wright about what has hapened tomorrow +whitch is sunday. i want to finish reading +Grissly Ike the Scalp Lifter. Cele tiptode up to my +room and threw it in. Cele always stands up for a +feller when he is in truble. probly after the hoal +thing has bloan over if it ever does Cele will +tell mother she done rong in giving me the novil +and will ask to be punished that is jest like Cele. + +September 14, 186---brite and fair. i am in my +room wrighting. most everybody has went to chirch +xcept mother who never gets time to go and father +who is eether over to Pewts fathers shop or over +to Beanys fathers barn talking. Beany has got his +gob back becaus they found out that Pewt put the +overhals and old hat into the organ. he done it to +play a trick on Beany but he dident meen to lose +him his gob. so it is all rite. i see Beany going to +chirch. i cant go. it is tuf to have to stay in your +room and not be aloud to go to chirch. that is a +prety way to bring up a boy i shood say. it will be +lucky for them if i dont grow up a drunkard and a +robber or a berglar. some day father will be sorry +for what he has did to me. + +well it is a long story. last Thursday nite i fell +asleep and father waked me up at 12 oh clock. i +went to Beanys and found him and we went to Pewts +and got the paist and the pictures. i luged one +pale and Beany the other. Pewt luged the paper. +we had to change hands lots of times and set the +pales down. i tell you they was heavy. it was +clowdy but as it was moon time it was prety lite. +we dident see nobody and it seamed kind of dreery. + +we got to uncle Gilmans and paisted the picture +of the tapir up rite on the front side of his house. +then we went to Gechels house and paisted up the +giraft. we had a long handeled brush and i had to +stand on Beanys shoulder to reech the girafs head. +the picture reeched nearly to the roof. once we +thougt we was cougt but it was only a horse kicking +in the barn. we dident make enny noise and +when we talked we jest wispered. it was almost as +mutch fun as hooking water mellons. then we went +to old Pettigrews and paisted up the boar constricter. +then we went to Fatty Foggs and his dog woodent +let us come near the house. we thougt he wood +knaw us and Pewt hit him with a rock and he yelped +so loud that old Fatty come down in his shirt tale +and a little tin lamp but we was hid behine sum +boards. + +then we went to Clarisser Dorsens but it was all +lit up and doctor Perrys horse and chase was there +hiched to a poast. we wated and bimeby old man +Dorson come out on the run and went down town. +bimeby he came back with a old woman and they +went into the house so we coodent put the stork +picture on her house without being cougt and we +put it on Billy Hansoms house. Billy and his wife +have jest been married and last weak the fellers +give them a serinaid. so we thougt they wood be +pleased to be notised. by that time the town clock +struck 2. so we had to hurry and them pales was +heavy. so we come over the bridge and throug +Clifford strete to Coart strete. Pewt he had to go +into his house and while he was gone Beany sed it +wood be a good goke on Pewt to put Jo Jo the Dog +faced man picture on Pewts house because Pewts +father has got long wiskers. so we done it and when +Pewt come out we told him we had put it on old +Hen Dows house and Pewt thougt that was bully. + +Then Beany wanted to go in his house to get +sum donuts and while he was in Pewt sed it wood +be a good thing to put the Spider Monkey picture +on Beanys house. Beanys father is kind of thin +and wear awful tite britches and a blew coat and +dresses elegant and so we done it and when Beany +come out with his donuts we set down and et them +and he dident notise ennything. + +well after we had et the donuts we paisted up the +Cheeter picture on Decon Aspinwalls house and the +elefant on Horris Cobbs house and the Hineer one +on the berrying yard. we tried verry hard to do a +good gob there and we gnew it wood maik a fine +apearance rite under the sine we are all passing +away. then we come home. father let me in and +asted me if i done enny damige and i sed no. he +asted me where we paisted up the bills and i told him +he cood see in the morning when he went to the +trane. so i went to bed. + +the nex morning mother come up and waked me +and told me to dress and come down stairs jest as +quick as i cood. she looked xcited. i asted her if +ennybody was sick and she sed wirse than that. i +cood hear peeple talking loud down stairs and i run +down as quick as i cood get my close on and without +washing my face or comeing my hair. when i got +down there in the setting room i saw Billy and Mrs. +Billy Hanson and old Pettigrew and Beanys father +and Pewts father and the reverent Josier Higgins +and old man Wiggins the trusty of the berrying +ground and Decon Aspinwall and Pewt and Beany +and father and mother and Aunt Sarah. and they +were all piching in xcept father and mother and +Aunt Sarah who dident say ennything. Mrs. Billy +Hanson sed she had never been so insulted in her +life. she sed she had lived a good cristian life and to +have sech a insult paisted on her house was more +than flesh and blud cood stand and she boohood +like a big baby. and Decon Aspinwall sed he had +stood all he was going to and this time the coarts +wood take it up and settle it onct for all if peeple +was to be insulted and defaimed and there rites +trampled on and the reverent Josier sed he thougt +the sacrid eddifise of whitch he was a unwerthy +paster had augt to be safe from infaimus attacks +and that he shood ast the coarts to rite him in the +publick ey. + +and old man Wiggins he sed that the ded wood +tirn in there graives if they see what was on the +berrying ground gait. and Beanys father sed he +wasent going to be called a spider munkey for nothing +and Pewts father sed he was going to find out +who poasted up that Jo Jo bill befoar he left, if +it took the rest of his lifetime. then they all talked +together and made a feerful noise. bimeby father +sed now you have all had your chance, less find out +sumthing about it. so he told them what he gnew +about the circus man asking us to poast the bills +and Pewts father and Beanys father sed that was so. +then father asted me why i done it and i told him +we were told to poast the bills in aproprate places +to atrack attension and we done it. i sed we was +going to put the stork up on Missis Dorsens house +but the doctor was there and we coodent and so we +put it on Misses Hansons. and then Missis Hanson +saled into me like time again then Pewts father sed +Pewt sed he dident know ennything about puting the +Jo Jo bill on his house and i sed he was in the house +then and Beanys father sed Beany sed he dident +know about the spider munkey bill and i sed Beany +was in the house then and i done it. + +then they all sed i was the ring leeder and had led +Pewt and Beany into temptasion and old Decon Aspinwall +sed it was mity queer that we dident put up +ennything on fathers house and the boy was the +father of the man and that he wood see that i was +sent to the reform school and that father paid +heavy damages. + +that was the time father got mad and told him +to go to hell and old Decon went off to see his +lawyer. then father told the others that he wood +do all he cood to make it rite and he took me round +to all of them to their houses and made me beg their +pardon. peeple were scraping the pictures off and +washing them with hot water and evrybody was +laffing. + +Uncle Gilman and Mister Gechel and Horris Cobb +all laffed and sed it was a good goke but the others +were all feerful mad with me and father and not +very mad with Pewt and Beany. that is all rite but +the idea of me leading Pewt and Beany into temtasion +makes me sick. + +well Pewt got a licking and Beany got a licking +and i got a licking and we have all got to stay in +the house until school begins. but Beany had to go +to chirch to keep his gob. + +it is prety tuf to stay in a fellers room and to hear +a circus band playing and not go jest becaus we +tride to do the best we cood. ennyway i am glad i +aint going to the reform school. father jest come +in with a paper. he sed he had been arested and +had to get bale. he sed old Decon Aspinwall had +sewed him for 10 thousand dollars for defaiming +his caracter. father sed old Decon had to go to +Portsmouth for a lawyer, and that Amos Tuck and +General Marstin and Judg Stickney and Alvy Wood +all come up and sed they wood see him throug without +paying a dam cent. father feals prety good tonite. +Aunt Sarah says he always does when there +is a chane for a fite. + +this is the ferst time in my life i ever hoaped +school wood begin. ennything is beter than staying +in your room. + + + + +September 15, 186---school begun today and +i went. i dident supose i ever wood ruther go to +school than stay in my room espeshully a school +whitch is taugt by old Francis. but they is always +sumthing lively taiking place in old Francis school. +sumtimes Micky Guold is setting down on tacts or +the points of pens whitch has been stuck in his seet +so they wont fall over like a bent pin whitch aint +mutch good enyway most of the time and hollering +bludy merder and geting snached baldheaded for it +by old Francis, or Beany or Bug Chadwick is being +ferriled with a hard wood ruler with 2 hairs in the +pam of there hand to splitt the old ruler into fraggments +whitch i have never seen did yet in this life +or licked sumwhere else whare nuthing will do enny +good xcept a peace of paistboard or the Exeter +Newsleter in the set of their britches, or Pop Clark +is maid to eat a apple before the hoal school as fast +as he can with rot and wirm holes and wirms and +the stem and seeds and the coar or Skinny Bruce +is being snaiked over 2 seets and put in the woodbox +with the cuvver down because Gim Erly whitch sits +behine Skinny put a pin in the toe of his shue and +reeched over and kicked Tady Finton whitch sits in +front of Skinny and old Francis wont believe +Skinny but licks him onct for doing it and twict +for liing about it whitch he says is twict as wirse +as doing it, or Fatty Gilman is down on all foars and +howling while old Francis lams him with the haff of +the broom stick he stirs the fire with while Fatty +is triing hard to crawl throug a chair whitch he cant +do enny moar than the cammel cood crawl throug +the ey of the needle in the bible. + +All of them things is taiking place in old Francis +school every day whitch makes it a very intersting +place when you are not the feller whitch is doing +them things but is setting down and waching them +out of the coner of your ey and pertending to studdy +hard whitch nobudy can do when sumbuddy is howling +terruble and banging agenst seets and you never +know when your tern wil come nex. + +but it is lots beter than staying in your room +and not seing the fellers and coppying there xamples +and getting so far behine in your studdies that you +are shoar to get licked evry day for a week or 2. +there is sum fun in geting licked onct in a while if +you have a chance to escaip and it is a grate deel +moar fun if sumbuddy else gets licked for sumthing +you have did. sumtimes a feller will tel on sumbuddy +else and then evry feler whitch can lick him +licks him the ferst time they gets the chance. but +most of the fellers will take another fellers lickings +without a yip. Old Francis lickings is wirse than 2 +or 3 of another fellers lickings but aint so bad as 30 +or 40 lickings whitch a feller is shoar to get if he +tells on anuther feller to say nuthing about the girls +running their tungs out at you and calling you tattle +tail and stiking their nose up in the air when they +goes by you whitch maiks a feller feal prety cheep +whitch is sumtimes wirse than a licking. + +So on the hoal i had ruther go to school than stay +in my room whitch dont make enny diference becaus +i have got to go ennyway wether i want to or not. + +tonite i had to studdy Colburn arithmatic. it is +the wirst book i ever studded. i bet there aint a boy +in this wirld whitch doesnt want to paist time out of +old Colburn. i had ruther be a merderer if nomuddy +gnew it than be a feler whitch rote a arithmatic. +Ennyway old Colburn had a key whitch tells +jest how to do the xamples and has them all figgered +out. teechers is aloud to have the key but the +scholers cant have it. Enny time old Francis dont +know how to do a xample he looks in his key and +lerns how and then a feller whitch dont have a key +is snached baldheaded becaus he dont know how to +do it. i dont think that is fair. i had 10 xamples +to do and i have got them all did. Cele done 4 and +Keene 3 and father 3. so i am all rite tomorrow. +father give me 2 bats in the ear befoar i undestood +one xample. Keene gets mad but she dont dass to bat +me. Cele is the best. + +September 16, 186---brite and fair. i havent let +my boat for a long time. Pewts' father has got the +best boats now. it was prety quite in school today +only 9 fellers got licked. five of them hollered to +make old Francis stop. Scotty Briggim never hollers +and Stubby Gooch and Tady Tilton and Jack +Mevlin dont ever holler. Nigger Bell never got +but one licking and he hollered louder than enny +feller i ever herd Old Francis dont lick him becaus +he hollers so loud. + +September 17, 186---brite and fair. i havent had +a cent for moar than a weak. it is tuf to be so +poar. i have got to rase sum chink sumhow. Beany +aint paid me my 40 cents yet. + +September 18, 186---i got licked today in school. +jest for nothing. sum one put sum gum in Medo +Thirstems seet and he coodent get up to resite and +old Francis yanked him up and found the gum and +licked me becaus i set jest behine his seet. he sed +he had been keeping his ey on me for a long time. +it cant be very long becaus school has only been 3 +days. today was wensday and there wasent enny +school in the afternoon. me and Putter went up +river fishing and caught 8 pickeril. prety good +for us. + +September 19, 186---brite and fair. nex weak +is the county fair and cattle show. i am going. the +band is pracktising evry nite and that is the reeson +i cant get my lessons. no feller can studdy when a +band is playing king John quickstep and red stocking +quickstep and romanse from Leeclare and departed +days and things like them rite across the strete. so +i miss in my lessons and get licked most every day. +sum day i am going to play in a band. i shall play +a e flat cornet like old Robinson and Bruce Briggim +and Rashe Belnap. they played a new peace tonite. +i shoodent think men whitch cood play in a band +wood ever do ennything else. i never wood. + +September 20, 186---rany as time. i hoap it +wont rane next weak when they are having the fare. +tonite it raned so hard that the band dident pracktise +so i had time to studdy. i coodent do ennything +this afternoon but set in Ed Toles barn and +see the horses rubed down. + +September 21, 186---brite and fair today. i went +to chirch today. After chirch me and father went +up to the fair grounds. they have got a lot of sheds +bilt and most of the fence is up and the ralings +round the track. i bet it will be a good fair. + +Peekily Tiltons father plays in the band and 3 +uncles. his father plays a b flat tenner horn and his +uncle Ed plays a e flat base horn and his uncle +George plays an e flat alto horn and his uncle Warrin +plays a b flat cornet. Peeliky says he is going to +play some day. he doesnt know what he will play +but he wil play sumthing. i asted father why he +dident play in the band and he sed they was dam +fools enuf in the wirld without he being one. i was +going to ast him to by me a cornet but i desided +i woodent jest yet. i gnew jest what he wood say +if i asted him. + +father says he dont like band playing but i notise +he stays to home the nites the band plays and sets +on the steps an lisens and beets time with his foot +and sumtimes puts in as good base as Ed Tilton, +Peeliky Tiltons uncle can with his base horn and +when sumbuddy in the band plays out of tune he +gumps up and waulks up and down the piaza and +says why dont they hit that feller with a ax. so +i know he likes band playing as wel as i do. i wish +he played in the band fer then i wood go into the +bandroom and hear them. me and Beany tride +to go in one nite and we was jest going up stairs +when sumbuddy throwed a hoal pale of water on us +and we skined out prety lifely. i woodent care if +they only wood let us in after they had throwed +the water but they hollered get out of here you little +devils or we will drownd you. i bet them band +fellers can lick enny other band fellers and beat +them playing two. i bet our band is as good as enny +band in the wirld. + +September 22, 186---i am terible xcited. we are +going to have three days vacasion this week while +they have the fair and cattle show and i have got a +seeson ticket becaus Charles Talor is going to have +Nellie to drive the hoal time. he gets the hay and +grane and straw for the annimals and has got to be +going in and out of the fair grounds al the time and +father has let him have Nellie and he give me and +father a seeson tickit. so i kin go all the time so +long as i split my kinlins and get in my wood and +all the pales of water mother wants. Beanys father +is going to ride in percession as marchal with a yeller +sash on and long yeller gloves on and a stick with +red and white and blew ribbons on it and so Beany +has got a seeson tickit two and Pewts father is going +to put sum golden pollish hens and sum rocky mountain +hens in the hen show and so Pewt has got a +seeson ticket. Beany has pade me back my forty +cents. i tell you there aint many fellers whitch has +as good luck as i have got. 3 days vacasion and a +season tickit to a fair and cattle show and plenty of +money. i dont se what else a feller cood want. tonite +i studded as hard as i cood with a band playing +2 or 3 new peaces. Cele helped me with my examples. +it wont do for me to miss in my lessons tomorrow +or nex day. i gess with Celes help i can +hang on for 2 days more after that i dont care so +mutch. + +September 32, 186---it looks like rane. i hoap +it wil rane today if it ranes this weak. today i saw +a man drive throug town in a high wheal gig hiched +to a auful long legged horse. the man had on a +cap with a long viser and had pullers on his ranes +and had 2 pales hung under his gig and set on a lot +of blankits and the horse had on a white blanket +with red letters on it whitch sed Flying Tiger 2.57 +enterd for the free for all. he asted Tommy Tomson +the way to the fair grounds and Tommy sed he +cood show him and he clim into the gig and drove +off. well Tommy he staid to the fair grounds all the +forenoon and in the afternon old Francis licked him +and made him holler two but Tommy sed it was +worth it to stay to the fair grounds haff a day and +get out of school for one licking. he sed it dident +hurt mutch and he only hollered to make him stop. +Tommy says they have bilt a bandstand and a stand +for the juges and pens for the pigs and hens and +cattle and resterants and pop corn places and evrything +else. i wood like to go up tonite but father +says i cant go up until the ferst day of the fair. + +Tommy says there is going to be a snaik charmer +and a bull whitch gives milk and a girl whitch has +got 2 heads and 4 legs and 4 arms and a sheep with +6 legs. mother says i cant go in to see the girl with +4 legs becaus its impropper to look at a girls legs. +i asted father and he sed it is twict as impropper +to look at a 4 leged girls legs as a 2 leged one so i +cant go in to see that. + +Tommy sed they was going to be a troting race +for bulls. Charley Treadwill has got a big white +and black bull named Nickerbocker whitch he drives +in a wagon with a bit in his mouth and he is going +to have a race with a bull from Portsmouth. +i bet on Charleys bull. i wish it was a bull fite. i +wood bet on Charleys bull. + +old Wakeup Robinson is going to trot his horse +Prince John. they is going to have 2 bands the +Exeter band and the Newmarket band. i bet the +Exeter band is the best. i cant hardly wate for tomorrow. + +i dident miss in school today and tonite we set out +on the steps to hear the band. old wisler Weeks is +going to play a fife in the band and old Potsy Dirgin +is going to play a fife two. + +September 24, 186---brite and fair and county +fair two. that is a goke and a good one two but +nobuddy will ever see it but me. gosh i am tired +tonite i never had so much fun in my life. we had +the best percession i ever see. first come the marchals +George Perkins and John Gardner and Beanys +father and old Francis and John Gibson all on white +horses xcept George Perkins and John Gardner and +old Francis whitch was on red horses and Jon Gibson +whitch was on a spoted horse and they all looked +fine. then come the Exeter band and then a lot of +ox teems full of wimen in white with their hides +all brushed up with curry combs and their horns all +cuvered with ribbons and evergreens in their slats. +i tell you when old Giddings and old Wiliam Conner +and old Nat Gilman jabbed them with the ox godes +they walked along prety lifely. then come the Newmarket +band and then the fire ingine and a lot of +men with cains and stove pipe hats and then a steam +wagon and then Charles Tredwill driving his bull +and old wakeup Robinson with his troter and a sope +pedler with a humpback horse. it was the best percession +i ever see. the Exeter band played 4 times +as loud as the Newmarket band. i wish you cood +have heard Peeliky Tiltons uncles play you wood +have thougt they wood bust their cheeks but they +dident. Fatty Walker broak 2 heads on his base +drum the ferst day and Len Heirvey broak one in +the snair drum. I gnew they wood beat the Newmarket +band. tonite father and mother and Cele +and Keene and Georgie have went to the haughticulture +show in the town hall. they have all sorts +of frutes and beens and pees and beets and flowers +and gars of frute and perserves and bread and cake +and pyes to see whitch has maid the best and gnitting +and sowing things and drawings and paintings +and bea hives and stufed birds and a stufed wilcat +showing her teeth. it is ded so it cant hirt ennybuddy +and composisons of school girls and handwriting +and lots of things. i wanted to go but +father sed i codent go to evrything. i gess i will +go to bed. i have got a verry bizy day tomorow. +Beany is going to try and get a gob tomorow. + +September 25, 186---brite and fair again. i am +prety tired again tonite and am staying to home. +father and arnt Sahar and Keene and Cele and +Georgie have went to the haughticulchure show this +time and me and mother are staying to home. +mother is rocking the baby and i am in my room +wrighting. today there was a percession this morning +and i was in it but only a litle while. i held +one end of the base drum but evry time Fatty Walker +wood hit it a good belt he wood send me flying +round sideways and at the end of the ferst peace i +felt jest as if old Francis had shook my livver out. +so i give it up. so they got Curley Conner a big +feller. Fatty cood bang the drum as hard as he +cood lam it but he coodent nock Curley round. + +today the Exeter band beat the Newmarket band +again. it scart 4 horses and made them run awa +and smashed 3 wagons and throwed out 14 people +and the Newmarket band only scart one horse and +dident throw out enny peeple. i tell you Exeter +can beat Newmarket evry time. + +Me and Pewt and Beany all got a chance to take a +gob. the man that hollers for Julia the snaik +charmer offerd us 1 doller apeace if we wood stand +up on the platform and let a boar constricter coil +around us and then Julia the snaik charmer wood +come out and charm the snaiks and save our lifes. +you bet we dident take that gob. + +Beany got a gob hollering for a peap show of war +pictures but his father come riding up and snaiked +him out. i give 5 cents of my 40 cents that Beany +pade me to get a shock in a lectric machine and +when i got hold of the handels i coodent let go. +i felt like a crasy boan all over and i danced and +hollered till Jerry Carter come up and told the man +if he dident stop the machine he wood smash it and +smash him two so the man he stopped it and i let +go and run. Everybuddy laffed but me and Jerry +Carter. + +then we went to the track to see the bull race. +there was a big black bull hiched into a gig troting +up and down the track and they were wating for +Charly Tredwill and Nickerbocker. bimeby he +come troting down the track and when the red bull +see the other he stopd and pawed the ground and +bellered and Nickerboker he done the sam and both +men begun to lick them but the bulls dident notise +it enny more than if a fli stang them and they put +their heds down and began to push and butt and +hook and roar and they tiped over the gig and the +wagon and throwed Charly and the other man out +and stepped on Charly Tredwill's head and nocked +down the rales and went bang agenst the Juges +stand and everybuddy hollered for Charlys bull +xcept about haff of them whitch hollered for the +other bull but nobuddy dassed to go near them. +bimeby the Captain of the Ingine company whitch +was going to have a xibition squirt hollered to the +fellers to start the breaks and they done it and begun +to squert rite on the bulls heads and they coodent +stand it and they stoped fiting. they were all tuckered +out and there harnasses and wagons was all +smashed to kinlin wood. it was beter than enny dog +fite i ever see. every buddy sed it was the best +thing in the show. i wish they had let them fite it +out. i bet Charlys bull wood lick. father sed +twict that Charly wasent hirt becaus his head was +solid way through. that enny feller whitch wood +fool away his time to trane a bull to trot in a race +coodent be hirt by ennything stepping on his head. +Beany has got a gob as waiter in a resterrent. he +got 50 cents yesterday. Pewt got 50 cents in working +for a feler whitch has a lot of poasts and a lot +of rings. the poasts is all numbered and they is a +preasent for every poast. You give 10 cents to +toss a ring. if you toss it good and it goes over a +poast you get a gold wach or a 12 blaided gnife +or a gold headed cain or a sigar or a whip or a doll +or a glass pitcher. i tossed it over a poast and got +a sigar and i give the sigar to old Barny Casidy and +he lit it and took 2 puffs and spit it out and sed it +was made of a old horse blanket. tomorrow is the +last day of the fair and if i am going to ern enny +money i have got to get a gob prety quick. father +is going to stay at home tomorow to go to the fair. +i have had a auful good time today and seen some +good races but i havent had a gob. Pewt and Beany +always have the luck. + +September 28, 186---this is a rany sunday. i +cant go to chirch becaus my paint has not come off +yet. i shood not dass to go to chirch becaus peeple +wood laff rite out loud. father says he dont believe +it will ever come off. but mother says it will with +plenty of greece and soft sope. i am most raw +now. i wish father had kiled that man. i never +got into so bad a scraip before. father says that he +has desided that the reform school or the idjut +assilem is the only place for me but mother says i +needent wurry about that for that is only his talk +but i must be more cairful in the future. i told +her i dident meen ennything rong but only wanted +to earn a little money and she sed she gnew that but +there is sum ways of erning money whitch is open to +objecsion and i gess she is rite and this is one of +them ways. After a feller has had his skin scrubed +with soft sope and bristol brick for two days jest +like pollishing a brass door gnocker he wishes he +was ded. + +Well you see i maid up my mind to get a gob +becaus Beany had and Pewt had and i had spent +all my money. so the first thing i done when i had +did my choars was to put for the fair grounds erly. +when i got there i went to the resterrent and asted +them if they wanted a waiter. they sed no but they +was a feller whitch had a tent nex to Julia the snaik +charmer whitch has ben triing to get 2 boys. so i +went over there and there was a new tent and a big +picture painted on a sheet of the wild men of Bornio +whitch was captured after a dredful fite in whitch 6 +bludhounds was kiled and 4 men fataly injered for +life. they was a picture of soldiers and hunters with +guns and bludhounds chasing the 2 wild men and +carring off the wounded men and the ded dogs. + +when i got there i saw a big man with a big +mustash talking with Hiram Mingo a nigger boy. +i asted him if he had a gob for me and he looked +at me and sed i was prety skinny but perhaps he +cood fix me. he asted us into the tent. i woodent +go for i was afrade of the wild men of Bornio but +he sed the tent was emty. so we went in and he sed +he had bad luck. That both his wild men was sick +and he had a wife and nine small children, and +he had got to earn there bread and the only way to +do it was to get sum kind hearted feller like us to be +wild men. he sed if we wood do that for him he +wood pay us 2 dollars apeace and his nine children +and his sick wife and blind mother wood pray for +us on her gnees. i was auful sorry for him he +looked so sad. he sed he had looked up a lot of +feller and talked with a lot and we was the only +fellers that was smart enuf to do it. he sed he never +was gnew to maik a mistake in a feller. he gnew he +cood trust us enny time. so i asted him what we +wood have to do and he sed he wood paint us up +like wild men and put on sum firs and leperd skins +and sum brass rings on our hine legs and a necklace +of tiger claws and all we wood have to do +was to snarl and say yowk and let out howls, and try +to get at peeple. i dident want to black up but +Hiram dident care becaus he is a nigger. so is asted +him if the black wood ware off and he sed yes and +so after a while i sed i wood. well he made me +take off all my close and he painted me all over +black and he put sum black stuf on my hair and +twisted out all the points whitch stuck up, then he +wound a leperd skin round me and round Hiram +and i had a neck lace of tiger claws and 2 brass +rings round my hine legs. then he took sum red +paint and he painted sum big scars on us where +tigers had toar us. when he showed me in the +looking glass how it looked it scart me. i never +would have gnew it was me. i was wirse looking +than a babboon. + +then he learned us how to snarl and yowl and +make faces. he sed it was easier for me to make +faces than enny feller he had ever gnew and he sed +it must come natural to me. He sed i wood scare +a gorilla white. then he lerned us how to fite and +sed we must snarl and fite when he was out on +the platform telling the peeple about us and then we +wood rush in and crack a whip and fire a pistol in +our faces and stop us. + +Well after we had lerned how he put a ox chane +on to us and then he went out and begun to holler. +he sed ladies and gentlemen for one short day only +you are privileged to see the wild men of Bornio, +imported at vast expense by arrangements with the +king of Bornio and captured after a terific fite after +6 dogs was killed and 4 men fataly ingered for +life. they are of small size but like the man munky +they have the strength of 7 strong men in their +sinews and boans and in there native lair they track +and kill the maneeting tiger and the lion with there +naked hands. then he pounded his stick twict on +the platform and it was a signal to us and we begun +to yowl and snarl and stamp and he sed there +they are taring each other to bits and he rushed in +and hollered and cracked his whip and fired his pistal +and we yowled and snarld and peeple begun to +rush up and pay 10 cents to come in. when they +saw us one woman sed my what dredful looking +things and one man sed i have got a 15 years old +boy that can lick boath of them munkys. so when +he and his boy come near the platform i gumped +at him and made a auful face and let out a auful +howl and i wish you cood have seen that 15 years +old boy hiper acrost that tent and holler. he was +scart most to deth and the man two and a woman +screached and they had to carry her out. then +the man cracked his whip and drove me back snarling +and making auful faces and Hiram he let out +sum auful yowls and bit his chane and fomed at +the mouth with sope and the man told how only +last weak he had to put on us a red hot iron to drive +us off a hieener whitch had got out of its cage and +had atacted us but he was two lait and before he +cood drive us from our pray we toar him to bits. + +A man asted what we et and he sed live rabits and +chickings and sometimes frogs. well peeple kep +coming in droves and bimeby i see Beany an Pewt +come. Beanys eyes were jest like sorcers. i laid +down and snarled a litle and i pertended to be +asleep and snarled in my sleep like a dog does. i +wanted Beany to come near me and so i kep quite +and bimeby Beany and Pewt come close to the platform +and i make a gump at them and let out the +loudest yowl and maid the feerfullst face i cood. + +wel Beany went heels over head and hollered bludy +merder and Pewt he div rite out under the bottom +of the tent and that is the last i see of them. a lot +of people come in whitch i gnew and i scart a lot of +them most to deth and old mister Emerson lost his +false teeth and dident das to come back after them. +i never had so mutch fun in my life. bimeby i see +father and Charles Talor come in. when they see +us Talor begun to laff and sed thunder George the +skinny munky faced one is skinny enuf to be your +boy and father laffed and sed did you ever see sutch +a looking thing in your life. i wated till they come +up and then i gumped to the end of my chane and +yowled feerful and toar my hair and stamped my +feet and made faces and snarled auful and Hiram +done the same. they kep back out of reech and +father sed well if them is the kind of things fellers +see whitch has the delirim tremens i never shall taik +another drink what do you say Talor and they laffed +and went out. well we scart peeple all that day and +had a grate time. at dinner he closed the tent and +give us sumthing to eat and drink and then in the +afternoon we done the same thing. we got prety +tired of it but we kep on. bimeby father come in +again and looked round and asted sum men if they +had seen his boy. they sed no and he went away. +bimeby he come in agen and stood and looked at us +a long time. i was tired and dident yowl so mutch. +after awhile he come up near and i made a gump +at him and knashed my teeth. he kep back so i +coodent tare him whitch was a good thing for him +for he wood have broak my back and he sed that is +the ferst time i ever see blew eyd nigger and he +kept looking. well a lot of peeple come in and the +man begun to talk about us and pounded the platform +and we had augt to have fit, but we was boath +prety sick of it and he cracked his whip clost to +Hiram and snached a peace of skin off his back +and it hirt Hiram so bad that he forgot he was a +wild man of Bornio and had been toar by a tiger and +he begun to ball and in a minit evrybuddy was hollering +cheet cheet and father jumped over the raling +and grabed me and yanked me off that platform and +men were hollering kill the cheet and evrybuddy +was trying to get at him and codent find him for he +had got out sumway. wel father sed you infernal +idjut where is your close and i sed in that trunk +and he opened the trunk and got out my close and +made me put them on and Hiram he put his on and +peeple were hollering for there money back for it +was a cheet and i sed where is my 2 dollars and +father sed what you ned is 2 lickings and that is +what you will get when i get you home if i can ever +get your hide clean enuf to lick and he got Charles +Talor to drive up with Nellie and took me home. +When we come out of the tent they was a big crowd +whitch holllered and laffed at us and all the fellers +hollered Plupy the niger munky and Plupy the wild +man of Bornio. it was tuf on me for all Hiram +Mingo had to do was to put on his close and hat and +he was all rite. well when we got home and went +into the house mother was so surprised that she nerly +dropped the baby. i gess she wood have but he +begun to howl and grab her round the neck and +hold his breth and grow black in the face and Franky +and Annie howled and held on to her skerts and to +aunt Sarahs two and they had to be took out of the +room and when mother and aunt Sarah come back +they sed what have you got there George and father +sed it is your smart son, and mother sed what has +he been doing now, and father sed he has been a +wild man of Bornio at 10 cents a whack and mother +and arnt Sarah sed well of all things in this wirld +and then they begun to laff until the teers roled down +there cheaks and father sed i know it aint no laffing +matter and mother sed i know it aint and then she +lafed so it hirt her side. bimeby father sed what +are we going to do. i draw the line at bringing +up a babboon or a man munky in this family. + +So mother and aunt Sarah and father and me +went down to the kitchen and got a tub and filled +it with warm water and they put me in and then +they scrubed me with soft sope and then they took +me out and most of the black was on. the water +was sum black but they sed they coodent see it was +enny blacker than when i took my reglar Saterday +bath. then they filled the tub again and scrubed me +with soft sope and bristol brick. it about skined me +and maid me holler. that took off sum of the black. +then they tride seesand and that hirt so they had to +stop so they greesed me with lard and wiped it off +and father sed i was improving. he sed i looked +like a half nigger and he guessed nex week they cood +get me to look like a quarune and praps weak after +nex like a octerune. + +i have got to stay in until i get white again. +mother says i am the wirst looking thing she ever +see in her life. father is talking about reform school +again but i ges i needent wurry. today i was two +soar to be scrubed so i was greased and wiped off. + +Tomorrow if i am not two soar they are going +to try bristol brick and soft soap again. i had my +head shaived. father done it with the horse clippers. +tomorrow if i am not two soar they are going +to try bristol brick and soft sope again i asted father +if they cougt that man and he sed no they never +wood. it is tuf to end a weak this way. it is a auful +xperience for a feller whitch has always tride to do +rite. + + + + +September 29, 186---today they almost +skined me alive. i feel like a haol pimpel all red +and swole up. after they get throug skining me with +soft sope and bristol brick and seesand they greece +me all over. they are using mutten taller now becaus +lard is too xpensive so mother says, and father says +it suits me for i am the champeen mutten hed. i ges i +am a quadrune now. it taiks me a hoal day to get +over being skun so they can skin me again. i asted +father why he coodent put me in a tirning laith and +tirn me down jest like they maik wheal hubs down to +old Gus Browns hub shop. father he sed it looked +as if he wood have to and he wood see Gus about it +today. ennyway i dont beleeve it wood hirt as mutch +as seesand. + +September 30, 186---Beany come in to see me today. +he laffed so that i told him if he dident stop +i wood give him a bang in the snoot so he stoped. +we plade checkers and dominose. he can beet me +evry time. Beany says i cant go in swiming enny +more for 4 years becaus if i get wet the black comes +back. gosh i wunder if that is so. i have been +reeding Uncle Toms Cabbin and i dont like it enny +moar. i asted mother if what Beany sed was trew +and she laffed and sed of coarse it aint in your +blud and i sed it wood get in if they wasent prety +cairful not to scrub me two hard. + +i asted father about it when he come home and +he sed he wasent sure. he sed it depended sum on +how i behaved. that sumtimes a feller wood tirn +black with raige, and if he had been blacked up it mite +come back. i told him i wood do the best i cood if +i ever got white again. i asted how he suposed i +ever was fool enuf to do what i had did and he sed +it seamed to be eesier for me to be a fool than for +most folks. then he sed i was too anchious for +money. he sed it reminded him of a line in a poim +whitch was rote by a lattin gentleman naimed Publius +virgin. i asted him if he was enny relasion of +old John Virgin whitch oaned the trotting horses +and he sed no he dident think he cood be. if he +was it must be straned prety fine. the line went like +this + + a cused thirst for gold to what dust + thou compel the human mind + +i rote it down jest as father sed it. i dont know +what it means but i dident dass to tel him that and +so i sed yes sir i woodent be surprised if it done jest +that. + +I wish i cood go to school again. i wood be willing +to have old Francis lam me. + +i suppose the fellers will all laff and call me +munkey face and wild man of Bornio but i woodent +cair for that. tomorrow i shall be well enuf to be +scrubed again. tonite i am greeced and almost too +slipery to lay in bed. i am glad i am not a eal or +a hornpout. i feel jest like them only i aint got +enny horns. + +September 31. brite and fair. i have been +scrubed again. i bet they was sum fishooks in that +seesand. it felt so. enyway i am a octerune now +and most white. mother says one moar greecing +will be enuf. + +September 32, 186---the last time i was greeced +i had the itch. it wasent as bad as this but i remember +it well. + +September 33 186---today i went down town. i +have been away a long time but the town looks about +the saim. Kelley and Gardners have sole 2 gnifes +and Fogg and Fellows have sole sum pipes and a +cuppy Olliver Optics magazene and old Luke Langly +has sole a gointed comb and a tin horn and wagon +but in other respecks things look about the saim. i +am glad i wasent away long enuf for the place to +chainge. that wood be dreadful. i herd of a man +onct whitch was sent to jale for his hoal life. +bimby they was a new king in the land and he let out +the men whitch was in jale this poar man was so +glad to get out that he run 9 miles all the way +home but when he got home evrything had chainged. +where his house was stood a methydist chapel and +where his frends house was they had bilt a pest +house for small pocks pashients and where the green +house stood they had bilt a glue factory and where +the libary stood they was a slauter house. but in +spite of all these improovments he did not feal to +home and he was verry loansum. so he went back +to the king and gnelt down on his gnees and sed +nobble and venial monnark send me back to jale for +my friends are scatered and my house is gone. so +the king whitch was a verry kind harted monnark +sent him back to jale where he lived hapily many +years on bread and water and sumtimes only water. + +so i know jest how he felt when i come down +town the ferst time to see if things had chainged. +but they havent mutch. + +September 34, 186---well of all the big fools i +ever see in my life they aint no September 31 or 32 +or 34 and i rote them down. this is October 4. +there was a frost last nite. i wanted to go to school +this morning but mother sed i had beter wait until +Monday and begin fresh. so i done errants and +split wood and luged pales of water and raiked leeves +this afternoon and me and Potter rew up the river +to the rapids. the lily pads was all ded and the +leeves of the trees was red and yellow. the blewgays +was calling and it semed kind of loansume. it +seamed good to row again in a boat. tomorrow i +shall go to chirch. i have missed chirch a good deel. +i never thougt i cood. i never thougt i cood miss +school but i have. + +October 5, 186---i went to chirch today. the +minister preeched about our duty to our father and +mother. i have been thinking a grate deel laitly about +how litle i have amounted to and what a lot of +truble i have gave my parents and my frens. when +a feller is kep in his room prety near all summer +suffering from a awful soar skin diseeze caused +by being painted black by a man whitch had augt +to have gnew better and scrubed with soft sope and +bristol brick and seesand to get off the black and not +knowing from day to day and from weak to weak +wether he will be a nigger or a white man all the +rest of his life i tell you he begins to think over the +mean things he has did and resolv to do better +if he ever gets well and has the chanct. and when +a feller gets well and gets a chanct as i have did +he aint mutch of a feler if he brakes his resolvs and +hadent augt to get well. + +father has always gave me a good edjucasien and +i have lerned to read well and to spel acuraitly and +the multiplacsion table is rite at the end of my tung +and i can wright down enny table without looking in +the book. the hardest is 9 but it is jest as easy to +me as 1. + + 9 times 1 is-9 + 9 times 2 is 18 + 9 times 3 is 26 + 9 times 4 is 32 + 9 times 5 is 40 + 9 times 6 is 49 + 9 times 7 is 56 + 9 times 8 is 68 + 9 times 9 is 79 + 9 times 10 is 90 + +there if eny feller can do enny better than that i +shood like to see him. then i can bound New Hampshire +and i know all the counties in the state whitch +will be of the gratest asistence to me when i go out +into the wirld to maik my fortune. i only wish +father had a morgige on his home but he hasent. +if he had i wood come back sum time to pay it. i +asted father one day why he dident have a mortgige +and he sed he dident have enny home to morgige +but had to hire a house of J. Albert Clark. father +sed that enny feller with 40 leven children to suport +whitch cood by him a house or a farm was smarter +than he was. + +so i have desided first to give up Beany and Pewt. +it will be tuf to give them up. peeple sumtimes have +to strugle hard to give up smoaking and drinking +but sumtimes they doesent. Pwets father and +Beanys father will be glad beaus they boath says +that neither Pewt or Beany ever done a rong thing +befoar they were so frendly with me. so i am glad +there will be sumone whitch will be glad of it. ennyway +i gess they dont know Pewt and Beany so well +as i do. i cood tell sum things about them if i was +meen enuf. i talked it over with Cele and she +thinks if i wood reed the palsams evry day it wood +help but i am afrade i coodent do boath. i wunder +if pewt and Beany can get along without me. i +hoap they will be able to stand it but i woodent be +surprised if they coodent without sum suffering. + +ennyway they have got to stand it becaus from this +time we aint going together enny moar. of coarse +i shall speek to them when i meat them and say hi +Beany and hi Pewt but they wont be enny moar +ringing door bells nites and plugging tomatose and +grean apples. that will be hard two because it is +jest the time for them things and the cucumbers is +brite yeller and full of guice and seeds. if a feller +waring a stove pipe hat shood come along the strete +when i was near a tomatoe vine or a cucumber bush +i am afraide i shood have to let ding at him. i +dont beleeve the palsams wood do enny good. there +is sum things that no feller can stand. but i am +going to do the best i can even if i am like a solitary +sandpiper or hork whitch always goes aloan. i am +not going to tell the folks jest what i am going to do. +they will find out later by my acks. sum fellers +talks two mutch. i am not goin to be 1 of that +kind. i am going to keep my mouth shet and do rite +and no feller can do rite if he goes round with Pewt +and Beany and fellers like them. i like them boath +better than i like the best scolars in school and the +fellers whitch dont never miss in there lessons but a +feller has got to do his duty sum times in his life. i +am going to bed and try to sleap but i dont beleeve +i shall sleap a winck. + +October 6, 186---brite and fair. i went to school +today for the ferst time. the fellers was glad to see +me. they augt to have been becaus they maid lots +of fun of me. they call me the wild man of Bornio +and munkey face and scrached themselves and pertended +to be awful soar. but i dident cair i was so +glad to get back to school and to see the fellers that +they cood hav called me ennything. ennyway a +feller whitch has been called polelegs and skinny and +daddy long legs and yeller legs dont mind a few +moar nicnaims. i dident get licked today but ame +prety near getting. it seamed like old times to set +at my desk and see old Francis shake the fellers up. +old Francis aint changed a bit. + +tonite i was raiking up leeves when Beany come +over. i sed hi Beany and he ses hi Plupy. what +are you doing raiking leeves and i sed yes. he sed +have you got anuther raik and i sed no. then he +sed when you get tired i will raik and i sed aint going +to get tired. then he sed if you aint it will be +the ferst time. then i sed peraps and i kep on +raiking. then he sed i have got a raik to home and +i will go over and get it and come back and help +you i sed you needent truble yourself. and he sed +it is more fun wirking then setting round doing +nuthing and i sed that is why i am wirking. then he +sed well i will get my raik and i sed if you have got +enny raiking to do you can do it in your own yard +and Beany he stopd and looked at me sirprised and +sed what is eeting of you Plupy and i sed nuthing is +eeting of me, and he sed what have i did and i sed +nuthing and Beany he sed what maiks you ack so +queer and i sed i aint acking queer and he sed you +are two and i sed i aint neetner and he sed sumthing +is certainly eeting of you and i sed no there +aint nothing eeting of me only this is my gob and i +am going to do it without enny help. then Beany +he sed all rite Plupy if that is the way you are going +to ack i bet it is the last time i ever offer to help +you and i sed i hoap so and Beany he went off wisling +loud without maiking enny tune. + +i set out to call him back and maik up with him +but i dident. i kep on raiking and looked at Beany +out of the corner of my ey but he dident look back +and he was waulking stif leged and when Beany +waulks that way you mite jest as well give up. he +is as obstinite as a mule. + +after supper i finished raiking and then split up +my kinlins. after i had split them i forgot and +started for Beanys but jest as i was going out of my +yard i remembered that me and Beany was throug. +so i went back and set on the steps. Beany Pewt +and Medo Thirston and Nipper and sum of the other +fellers was playing club the gool and the gool was in +Beanys yard so i coodent go out and play becaus +me and Beany was throug. i was crasy to play but +i coodent. after dark i studded hard but i coodent +lern ennything becaus i cood hear Beany and the +other fellers hollering and laffing. i bet Beany done +it a perpose. enyway Beany you jest wate till tomorrow +and and see what you will get when old +Francis finds out you havent studded your leson, and +you two Pewt. + +October 7, 186---went to school today. Beany +dident speek to me. so i wated till he got his licking +for not having his lesson. well you never see +sutch luck as Beany has. they was jest 1 xample +i hadent done. Cele coodent do it or Keene and +father had went down town. so i thougt i woodent +be called up on that sum. wel i got called up on +that sum and coodent do it and got licked and Beany +got called up after i had missed and i thougt it wood +be sum fun to see Beany licked. well what do you +think Beany he up and done the example rite. i never +was so sirprised in my life. then old Francis told +me i had augt to be ashaimed of myself. that if i +had did as Elbrige, Elbrige is Beany you know, +done and staid in and studded insted of romeing the +stretes i woodent have missed. i sed yes sir. i +wood like to know how Beany done that xample. +i saw Pewt today and spoke to him. he acted queer. +i wonder if Beany told him. + +tonite the fellers plaid again in Beanys yard. +they plaid coram. most always they play coram in +the school yard where there is moar room but tonite +they plaid it in Beanys yard. so i coodent do ennything +but set on the steps after i had done my choars. +they aint much fun in that. i miss Beany a good +deel. it is going to be hard to keep away from him +but it is the rite thing to do. it is 2 days that i +havent got in enny scraip. if i had been going with +Beany and Pewt i wood have got in some scraip +befoar this. it is 2 days sence i have had enny +fun. but it shall get used to it after a while. i studded +hard tonite with Cele and Keene and got all my +xamples. Keene says i dont try. it aint enny of +her bisiness. she only done two of them and Cele +the other 8. + +but i notise that the ones whitch does the leest has +the most to say. if Keene says mutch more about +me i wont let her do enny moar of my xamples. so +she had better be cairful what she says. i am going +to bed erly for they aint enny of the fellers to talk to. + +October 8, 186---brite and fair. i went to school +today. dident miss in my lessons mutch not enuf to +get licked. Beany had sum good luck and sum +how he did his xample rite. Pewt missed but +xplained the reeson so well that he dident even get +shook. Pewt is grate fer that. he can ast questions +so as to maik old Francis think he knows sumthing +about it when he dont know ennything. i +wish i cood do that. if i dont know the xample i +cant ack as if i did, i am wateing for Beany to get +a good licking to pay him for being meen to me +nites and having all the fellers play in his yard. i +bet i woodent have did that to him. + +this afternoon there wasent enny school and i +thougt i wood have sum fun. i went down to Ed +Toles but he had went to drive a man to North Kamton. +Frank Hanes had went sumwhere when i +went up to his house. then i went up to the Chadwicks +but they and Parson Otis and Fatty Gilman +had went sumwhere but nobody gnew where. then +i went home and found that Potter Goram and Chick +Chickering had come down with there butterfli nets +to get me to go and get sum lait buterflise. i tell +you i hipered down to Moultons field and they +wasent there and then up to the grove and they +wasent there. then i went home feeling prety +loansum. + +well there wasent ennything to do for fun so i +split sum wood and then mother asted me if i wood +screw sum things up in the kitchen to hang close on. +so i got the screw driver and went to wirk. while i +was wirking Pewt came over. i was awful glad to +see Pewt but i thougt he had acked kind of meen to +me in not coming over to see me befoar and so i +thougt i would punish him a litle befoar i maid up. +so i said hi Pewt and went on with my wirk. Pewt +sed what are you doing Plupy and i sed saying my +prairs before going to bed. then Pewt sed huh and +kept quiet and i went on wirking and wisling as if +i was aloan. bimbye Pewt sed if you take a hammer +and drive the screw in a little way it will taik +hold and i sed sort of scornful is that so and he sed +yes that is so and if you want to get that screw in +this weak you had better do as i say. i dident say +ennything only grunted and kep wirking until it +broak the head of the screw off then Pewt begun +to laff and said there what did i tell you. let me +show you how to do it Plupy. i sed supose you +think you can bild a barn. Pewt sed peraps i can +and i sed sumone is getting prety smart round here +and Pewt said i know a feller whitch aint very smart +and i sed well if you dont like what you see round +here you know where you can go and Pewt he sed +i bet i know where i can go and i am going there +two old Plupe and the next tim i come round here +again you will know it and i sed no sirre i shant +know it for when you come over here again i shall +be sumwhere elce. + +then Pewt went off hollering + + Plupys mad and i am glad + and i know what will pleeze him + taik a nail and scrach his tale + and hang him up and greece him. + +jest as loud as he cood holer and then he hollered you +are a old seesand munky and a bristol brick wild +man of Bornio, and i hollered silver is better than +pewter and who hooked Perry Moultons apples and +Pewt hollered back who et them and i shet up becaus +i was afrade mother mite hear him. + +well after Pewt had went i felt wirse than ever +becaus i realy was glad to see him and wanted him +to stay and have sum fun but sumhow i coodent help +being meen to him. it is funny how a feller will do +jest what he dont want to do and the more he dont +want to the more he will do it. + +well after Pewt went off mad and i took a hammer +and done jest what he told me and them screws did +jest as he sed they wood and i dident have enny +truble. i gues i was a darn fool for sassing Pewt +when he was doing me a good tirn but he needent +have called me them names at leest he needent have +called me them mad. you can call a feller naimes +good natured and he jest laffs but if you call a feller +the saim naims mad then they is a row and the +fellers dont speek enny more. + +well tonite Pewt and Beany had all the fellers over +to Beanys house having a grate time and mister +Watson Beanys father come out and plaid with them +jest lika a boy and they had a lot of fun and then +mister Watson Beanys father went in and dressed +up in an old stovepipe hat and pertended he was a +drunk man and he wood stager agenst the fense and +they wood plug him with roten tomatose and cucumbers +and nock his old stovepipe hat off and squash on +his close and he wood chase them and tumble down +and you never see sutch fun in your life. i tell you +i was jest about crasy to go over there but i coodent +becaus me and Beany was mad and Pewt two so i +had to stay on my steps and watch them. you never +see sutch fun in your life. mister Watson Beanys +father is the funniest man i ever see he dont never +drink or get drunk but he can ack like a drunk man +jest so you wood think he was drunk and maik you +kill yourself laffing. + +well after it grew dark i went in to study but i +felt so loansum that i went up stairs and went to +bed. mother came up and asted me if i was sick and +i sed no only i dident feal verry well and she wanted +to give me sum castor oil but i sed i was all rite. so +she went down after she had felt of my head and it +was cold so she sed i was all rite only a little tired. + +Cele sed she wood do my xamples for me and i cood +copy them in the morning. it is awful hard to give +up your frends becaus they have a bad effect on you. +i bet it is harder than to give up licker after a man +has been a drunkerd all his life. it dont seam to be +hard for Pewt and Beany to give me up. they seam +to have more fun than ever befoar. enny way i +have got to get used to it. father says you can get +used to enything if you taik time enuf. + +October 9, 186---rany today and windy. about +a milion leeves blowed down today. tonite we had +a fire in the air tite stove and it seamed moar cheerful. +Beany and Pewt coodent have the fellers in +Beanys yard. i am still wundering how Beany +lerned how to do them xamples. it aint like him +to know now. i still feal prety blew. + +October 10, 186-- brite and fair. there was a +frost last nite. I dident miss today. neether Pewt +or Beany spoke to me. tonite i done my choars and +went and set on the steps and wached the fellers +playing in Beanys yard. i felt prety bad. father +sed what is the matter with you. i sed nothing +and he sed you have been acking like a sick cat for +a weak why dont you go over and play with the boys +and i sed i dont want to. he sed you havent had a +fite with Elbridge, Elbridge is Beany you know, and +i sed no. then he asted me if i had a fite with +Clarence, Clarence is Pewt you know, and i sed no, i +havent had enny fie with Pewt, then he went in and +set by the table and red the Exeter Newsletter +whitch always comes out on Fridays. i went in and +went up stairs because we dont have xamples on Saturday +only speeking and geogrify. + +after i went up stairs i went into the front room. +it was warm and the windows was open. father +had went out on the front steps and i was setting in +the window lissening to the fellers and wishing i was +out there with them. bimeby i heard father say to +mother Joey what is the matter with Harry laitly. +he has been acking nummer than a deef mewt and +mother sed i dont know what it is. he has done his +choars better than i ever gnew him to do them xcept +jest befoar crismas and 4th of July and he eets well +but he dont play enny moar and he dont seam like +himself enny moar. then father he sed i dont like it. +i hoap he isnt going to be a lollypop or a goody good +boy. if there is ennything i hait in this wirld it is a +miss Nancy sort of boy. + +Aunt Sarah she up and sed i gess you needent +wurry about any boy of yours being a miss Nancy, +George Shute, and father laffed and sed well it dont +seam as if i ever cood have a boy like that but you +cant be sure. as far as i know there aint enny ministers +in my family sence the pilgrim fathers landed +on the wild New Ingland shoar. then Aunt Sarah +she sed peraps it would have been better if they had +been a few and father he sed that may be so but i +dout it. then father he sed it aint natural for a boy +to set round like a sick hen. either he is thinking +up sum deviltry or he is getting to be a lollipop and +of the 2 things i ruther it wood be the ferst. + +then mother sed i dont quite agree with you +George. i dont like a miss Nancy enny moar than +you do but i dont beleeve it is nessary for a boy to be +thinking up deviltry to be a real boy. then father +he sed i gess you was never a boy Joey or you woodent +say that. A boy is going to raise tune or he aint +a boy and you mite as well put him into skerts to +onct. i never gnew a puppy to grow up into a good +dog unless he chewed up slippers and spoilt moar +things than he was wirth. then mother sed that +depends on what you call a good dog. if you meen +a dog whitch is all the time fiting that is one thing +but if you meen a real good dog that is another +thing. then father he sed i woodent give a cent for +a dog that cant fite. a god dog that is groan up +dont care to fite but will if he has to. and a good +man dont cair to but will if he has to. they is a +difference between a good boy and a goody good +boy. i wood ruther my boy wood git into scraips +than not. if he dont i know sumthing is rong with +him. + +then mother she sed if you like to have him get +into scraips why do you get so mad with him and +lick him, only mother she sed punnish him, when he +gets into scraips and father sed dont you see i cant +aprove of his scraips for if i did he wood be in +scraips all the time and he wood be if he gnew what i +was saying. then father began to laff and to tell +what he and Gim Melcher and Bill Yung and Beanys +father and Pewts father done when they was boys +and he asted if all of them fellers wasent pretty +good men and Aunt Sarah sed none of them is mutch +to brag of and father laffed and sed that shows you +aint a good judge of caracter. + +i tell you when i herd what father sed i maid up +my mind that i wood maik up with Beany and Pewt +and we wood show father and Pewts father and +Beanys father that we was jest as lifely as they was +when they was boys. then i tell you i felt beter than +i had felt for a long while and i am going to bed. +to-morrow i will maik up with Pewt and Beany. + +October 11, 186---brite and fair. today i maid +up with Pewt and Beany. it wasent near so hard as +i thought it wood be. i gess boath of them missed +me two but not as mutch as i missed them becaus +they had the other fellers. this afternoon we got up +a club whitch we call the Terrible 3. i am the president +becaus i got it up. Pewt is the secritery becaus +he can wright so good and Beany is the tresurer becaus +it dont cost ennything to get in and he aint got +enny money to taik cair of. the objeck of the club +is to do tuf things and not get found out. i aint got +time to wright enny moar about it tonite becaus we +aint had a reglar meating of the club yet. we are +going to have one tomorrow after chirch and wright +out a consecration and bi laws. after we have did +this things is going to be ifely round here. + +October 12, 186---brite and fair. it is jest raning +leeves today. i went to chirch and to sunday +school. Beany sed he was going to raise time in +chirch so as to lose his gob. he sed a feller whitch +was going to be tresurer of the Terible 3 hadent +augt to have a chirch gob, but me and Pewt told +him he must kep his gob becaus if he wasent going +to get caugt when we done tuf things we must be +respecktable befoar folks. we told Beany that if he +rased time two mutch and a feller hapened to get +his windows broak he wood say we fellers done it +and then peraps we cood lie out of it and peraps +we coodent. so Beany he desided to behaive and to +keep his gob, and he done well and only let the wind +out of the organ 1 time and that was when he was +looking at a rooster fite in old man Elliots yard +throug the window, and of coarse when there is a +rooster fite or a dog fite or enny kind of a fite a feller +has jest got to look at it. the only thing that +maid it funier than time was becaus they had got a +woman from out of town to sing in the quire and +she was singing + + the voice of one criing in the wilderniss + +and jest then the organ went eooowaugh and sounded +like when you step on 40 cats tales to onct and +stoped and then begun again and we cood hear +Beany pumping as fast as he cood and the old bellose +maid a noise just like the braiks on a fire ingine, +like this, chunka, chunka, chunka, and everybody +laffed and the woman set down mad and woodent +sing eny moar. + +Chipper and old Hen Dow jawed Beany like time +after chirch. Beany he told them why he done it +but they dident seam to think that was enny xcuse +and kep on jawing him. Chipper he sed he has +stood moar from Beany than he had from enny +feller and that a house of worship wasent a place for +munky shines and this was the last chanct Beany +shood have. so Beany kep his gob but he has a +narow escaip and will have to be moar cairful nex +time. + +well after sunday school we met in Beanys barn +and rote out the consecration and bi laws. it is a +old peeler. i had borrowed sum bi laws of a club +father usted to be in and i had rote down a lot of +things to put in and Pewt coppied them after we +had talked them over becaus Pewt can wright so +good. This is what he rote. + + Consecration and bi laws of the + Terrible 3. + +we Pewt and Beany and Plupy do hearbi asosiate +ourselfs together under the corperat naim of the +Terible 3. + +artickle 1. the object of this asosiasion is to brake +windows, to plug green apples and ripe tomatose +and roten cucumbers at peeple we dont like or whitch +wares there best close on a weak day, or whitch feels +two big for his britches. to get even with fellers +and with peeple whitch has done rong to us in the +past or in the future. wether we have to do it +with slingshots or roten egs. + +resolvd that the use of slingshots and roten egs is +only to be used when enny unusuel or crool rong +has been did us. and when the punishment must +be sevear. + +artickle 2. the main objeck of the members is not +to get cougt and evry feller whitch is a member must +agree never to betray enny other feller if he gets +cougt himself and is licked to maik him tell. and +enny feller whitch does tell on another member will +be maid to eet a live toad and 4 angel wirms. it +is no xcuse if he does it under terible tortures sutch +as shaking hands with a pensil between your fingers +or putting musterd on your tung or licking you with +a bed slot in whitch tacts has been put. + +artickle 3. the offisers of the asosiation shall be a +president a secritary and a tresurer. the duty of +the president shall be to call the meatings of the +asosiation. the duty of the secritary shall be to +wright down what is did at the meatings. the duty +of the treasurer is to take cair of the money of the +association. + +artickle 4. it dont cost ennything to get into the +asosiation. the Terrible 3 is good frends and will +stand by eech other as long as live remanes and no +money makes anny diference. nobody elce can get +in but the Terible 3 at enny prise what ever. + +artickle 5. steeling is absolootly forbiddon. this +aplise to money, gewils, hens, roosters and chickings, +dogs, horses and cattle and ennything whitch peeple +has in there houses and barns, but does not apli to +apples, pares straberries and frutes in their seeson +befoar they has been pictd and put in the house or +barn and nothing in this consecration shall be considered +as hendering enny one of the Terible 3 from +pluging ennything at cats dogs or other animals. + +artickle 6. at the end of the asosiasion whitch will +come when enny of the members is ded or in jale the +propity of the asosiasion shall be divided equil between +sutch of the members as aint ded or in jale +and the records of the asosiation if there is enny +shall be birnt and distroid. + + bi laws + +I. evry member shall be reddy to fite for another +member at a moments notise. + +II. evry member shall be reddy to lie for another +member when ever he can help him by liing. if he +can help him by teling the trooth he will be xpected +to do so if he can. + +III. if a feller gets cougt he is xpected to lay it on +to sum feller whitch is likely to do them things +whitch he is cougt for doing. + +IV. the fellers whitch is most likely to do the +things whitch a feller is most likely to get cougt for +doing is Fatty Gilman, Skinny Bruce, Tady Fenton, +Jack Melvin, Whack, Pozzy and Bug Chadwick, +Fatty Melcher, Pop Clark, Hiram Mingo, Ben Rundlett, +Ed Tole and several others. + +V. evry member has go to commit them naims +to memory and keep them at his tungs end becaus +he mite need them at enny time. + +VI. as far as posiable members must keep out +of enny trubble with wimmen. the Terible 3 does +not wage war against wimmen. of coarse when a +woman has got a husband whitch the Terible 3 has +ennything agenst she must taik her chanct but she +wont be hirt if she keeps her fingers out of the pye. +i have never knew a woman to do that in our lifes. +it aint our falt that she is his wife. she done it +herself. + +VII. as far as posiable the Terible 3 will try to +keep out of trubble in school. it aint that we are +scart of old Francis but it seams sumtimes as if he +had got eys in the back of his hed and gnew evrything +a feller thinks befoar he thinks it. + +then we all sined. we was going to have 3 or 4 +more bi laws but we dident know enny moar roman +numbers and you have got to have figger numbers +for the artickles and roman numbers for the bi laws. +after we had sined it i thougt we cood have got them +from the clock. we dident think of that. + +after we had sined it Pewt gave it to me to keep +as i am the president. he sed he had augt to keep +them becaus he is secritary but i told him that artickle +3 of the consecration sed the duty of the secretary +was to wright what was did at the meatings +and dident say he was to keep the paper. so Pewt +give in. + +Oct. 13, 186---brite and fair. the secritary of the +Terible 3 got licked in school today becaus he sed +geogrify is the sience of numbers and the art of +compewting by them. he told old Francis he wasent +thinking and old Francis he give him a licking to +maik him think. tonite the Terible 3 comited our +ferst crime. this is the way we done it. we agread +to be studding our lessons at 8 oh clock. when it +struck 8 we wood go out for a drink or sumthing +and meat on Elm strete jest behine Pewts and +Beanys house. Pewt and Beany had got a pile of +ripe tomatose. then we would ding old William +Hobbs door bell and when he come to the door we +wood paist him. He always drives us out of his +yard so we done it. when it struck 8 oh clock i sed +i forgot to shet up my hens and a skunk may come +round. Keene sed i will help you. i sed no i will +do it. what would you do if we met a skunk. so i +went down and hipered over to Elm Strete. Pewt +and Beany was there with their hands full of tomatose. +Pewt tiptode up and rung the bell. in a +minit old Hobbs come to the door with a candle +shaded with his hand. as soon as he come out we +let ding as hard as we cood eech one 3 or 4 tomatose. +one nocked the candle out of his hand and +put it out. one hit him square in the mouth and +squashed. 2 or 3 hit him in other places and the +rest squashed on the house. i wish you cood herd +him spitt and sware and holler. jest as soon as we +pluged him we started running towards front strete +and then went behine the Unitarial chirch throug a +hole in Fifields fense into Beanys yard. i wasent +away from the house more than 3 minits. when i +came in mother sed did you shet the door to the hen +coop and i sed yes. i did shet it becaus i thought +she mite ast me. + +in about half an hour old man Hobbs rung our +door bell and asted mother where i was. she sed +do you want to see him and he sed where has he +been tonite and she sed he has been in studdying +all the evening ever sence supper and he sed are you +sure and she sed why yes i have been here myself. +then he sed well sum boys came to my house and +rung my door bell and when i come to the door they +threw roten vegitables at me and asaulted me and if +i can find out ther edentitty i am going to persecute +them to the xtent of the law and send them to jale. + +mother she sed it is a shaim and i certainly hoap +you will find out who they are and i am very glad +to say that my son had nothing to do iwth it and +i am sure he wood not do ennything of the kind. +so old Hobbs he went away and mother came in and +told us. she sed he hadent quite got all of the tomatose +out of his wiskers but she hoped he wood +ketch them. i hoap so two over the left. it may +lern old Hobbs a lesson if he isent two old to learn. +i am afrade he is. + +October 14, 186---i have got 2 horks. Potter +Goram give them to me. they is full groan and +verry hansum. one is a hen hork and the other a red +taled hork. gess what i naimed them. one is Hork +and the other Spitt. mother sed those were dredful +naims but i think they are prety good ones. i feed +them on meat and fishes and rats and mice. if you +poak them with a stick they grab it with his claus +and hiss like a snaik. there eys is yellow. i dont +let folks poak them. + +tonite i called a meating of he Terible 3. i had +rote the record of what we had did and Pewt had +coppied it. i thougt i had better wright it becaus +i can spel so mutch beter than Pewt. + +well Pewt read the record and Beany reported +that there wasent enny money in the tresury. then +i asted if ennybody had ennything to say and Beany +sed that we had better paist old decon Aspinwall +next for he was so meen. i was afrade he wood +lay it onto me becaus i had trubble with him 2 times. +then Pewt sed we cood nale up a sine in front of +his house sassing him, but i had done that onct for +a circus. so we desided to lay for him sum time but +not yet. ennyway we have got him marked. + +so after supper we took a few grean apples and +our sticks and went into Pewts back yard behind +the trees and plugged sum apples as hard as we +cood without ameing. we fired them in the direxion +of J. Albert Clarks house becaus he had ordered me +and Beany out of his yard one day jest for nothing. + +we wood all plug together jest as hard as we cood +plug and then lissen hard. we cood tell by the sound +when they wood hit on the roofs or not. bimeby +we herd the gingle of glass 2 times. then we begun +to play coram and kep hollering and laffin. then +we herd J. Ward Levitt holler who in hell is firing +rocks through my winders. then he hollered to +father and sed George look here and see what your +dam boy has been up to and we herd father say +what is it Ward and Ward sed he has broak 2 winders +in my shop and you have got to pay for them. +then father sed all rite. if he done it i will pay but +if he hasent done it i wont. so ferst father hollered +for me and i dident hear him. then they went over +to Beanys and i wasent there and Beanys mother +sed i hadent been there. then they come through +old Mrs. Seeveys yard and then into Pewts and we +were playing coram. then J Ward sed here are the +devils and father sed dident you hear me holler and +i sed did you holler and looked at him sirprized and +father sed i hollered louder than a steem wissel and +i sed we were playing coram and making so mutch +noise that i gess it drownded your holler out. then +he sed how long have you been here and i sed ever +sence suppr. + +then father sed Ward says you broak 2 winders in +his shop, and i sed how cood i when i have been +here evry minit. and father sed are you sure you +havent been out of this yard sence you come here, +now dont you lie to me and i sed hoap to die and +cross my throte have i Pewt have i Beany and Pewt +and Beany both hoaped to die and crossed there +throtes. + +then father sed there Ward you see they coodent +have did it for it is twict as far as enn one of them +can throw and Ward he sed i dont know about that. +then father sed try boys and see how far you can +throw and try as hard as you can. so i pict up a +rock and let ding and nearly throwed my arm out +of goint and it went clear across Mrs. Seeveys yard +into Beanys and then Pewt he throwed clear over +Beanys house into old Heads yard and beat me and +Beany throwed into his yard but not so far as i did. +then old Ward he sed we dident try and father sed +if you can throw across Mrs. Seeveys yard and into +Watsons yard, Watson is Beanys father you know, +i will pay for them winders even if Harry dident +brake them. + +then old J Ward he sed all rite George i will show +these boys what i can do and he took off his long +taled coat and roled up his sleaves and hunted round +for a rock and then he let ding and the rock went +sideways rite towards Mrs. Seeveys house and went +rite throug one of her kichen winders and the minit +it went in she come out yapping who has broak my +winder and old J. Ward stood with his mouth open +and one hind leg in the air where he had drawed it +up when he saw the rock going towerds the winder. +so when she hollered who broak my winder he put +his hind leg down and stutered and sed i gess i done +it maam and she sed what did you do it for? aint +you got enny better business than to go round +throwing rocks throug peeples winders and he sed +i was jest showing these boys how to throw a stone +and she sed well if they cant throw enny better than +you can i gess you havent showed them mutch. now +if you will show me about 25 cents for that winder +and i will say no moar about it. so old J. Ward +pade her 25 cents and she went in. then father sed +are you sure you dident brake them winders yourself +Ward you seam to be a good shot. old J. Ward +laffed and sed well George i gess these boys dident +do it, but i am going to find out who done it if it +takes me a weak. i bet that out of a John Bowley +done it. John Bowley is Squawboo Bowley you +know, or posiably that Peenut Perkins or Johnny +Kelly. so old J. Ward is going to pich into them. + +enny way we dident meen to brake his winders +and the Terible 3 hasent got ennything agenst old J. +Ward for he is a good feller and dont never drive +us out of his Carrige shop, but if we had sed we +done it it mite let the hoal thing out. so i gess we +done rite but we will even up with old J. Albert +sum time. his time will come unless he changes his +ways. + +October 15, 186---brite and fair. wenesday and so +no school this afternoon. as it is warm the fish bit +prety well and i went down to my boat and cougt +ten shiners and a lot of minnis. it is prety lait for +them. then i fed Hork and Spitt and you had augt +to have see them eat. i dont know what i shall +do when the fish stop biting. rats is scarce and i +cant aford chickings. + +this afternoon after i had come back from fishing +we had a meating of the Terible 3. we met at +Pewts shop. Pewt read the report whitch i had +rote for him and he had coppied. then we talked +about wether we had augt to use sling shots xcept in +xstream cases. we desided never to use sling shots +in a croud and never to ame hier than a fellers hind +leg xcept when he is tirned back to for fear of puting +out his ey. and we desided never to fire a sling +shot without ameing nor rocks neether. but grean +apples and all other vegtibles including both stail +and roten egs espeshionally goos egs whitch is hard +to get and ded fish whitch you swing round your +tale by the head, no i meant whitch you swing round +your head by the tale and let ding is all rite to plug +without amein becaus they wont do enny harm and +cant put out a fellers ey. + +i am going to have that rote into the record. + +October 16, 186---brite and fair. Spitt cougt a +almost full groan chicking today. the chicking stuck +his head between the slats and Spitt grabed him +with his claus and pulled him the rest of the way in +and toar him in peaces and et most of him. it is +verry xpensive to keep two mutch stock but i hait +to let eether of them go. Hork is all rite and Spitt +is all rite but Hork and Spitt together is moar than +1 feller can feed unless he is a butcher or a fishcart +man or a rat ketcher. + +tonite the Terible 3 dident comit enny crime becaus +Billy Morris Nigger ministrils give a show in +the town hall and we all went. at 1 oh clock there +was a parade and there band plaid. it is a ripper +and can play almost as loud as the Exeter Band. +tonite we all went. it was the funiest show i ever +went to. it beat Comical Brown all to peaces and +the orchistry was splendid. They sung shoo fli dont +bodder me and little Maggy May, Way down upon +the Swany river and Massa is in the cold cold +ground and they dansed clog danses and had funny +direlogs. i tell you it was fine. so the Terible 3 +dident do nothing. somehow when a feller is laffin +he doesent feel like comitting crimes unless it is +funny ones. + +October 17, 186---missed in grammer today and +got licked. not very bad only he shook me round +until he toar my coller and neckti off. i jest wish +the Terible 3 wood plug old Francis sum time with +bricks. + +old J. Ward Levitt has found out who broak his +winders and has got his pay for them. he come over +tonite and told me and father about it. he sed he +went down to Squawboo Bowleys and asted him +about it and Squawboo proofed that he was down to +Charles Grants store on Hemloc square with Peenut +Perkins all that evening. then he went down to old +Heads house and asted two stewcats about it and +they sed they never done it then J. Ward he told +them they wood pay him for them winders or he +wood go to doctor Soule of the academy about it +and them fellers sed they never done it but had +ruther pay for 2 winders than to have doctor Soule +asting them questions, and so J. Ward sed they +pade him 50 cents for the 2 winders and 50 cents +for the trubble he had in detecking them and maiking +them confess. he sed they sed that they dident +confess and never done it but he sed if they was +onnest fellers they woodent pay for brakeing winders +whitch they hadent never broak and he sed +aint that rite Geroge? to father and father he laffed +and sed well i aint so sure about that. i was in the +academy under docter Soule and gess there wasent +enny time i was ther after the ferst weak that i +woodent rather pay for 2 windows than to have +docter Soule ast me questions about what i had did. +but i gess these fellers must have did it or they +woodent have pade for it. + +Aunt Sarah sed father was xpelled from the +academy twict. i asted him what he was xpelled +for. he sed the ferst time was a case of religious +persecution. i asted why they was persecuting him +and he sed he and another feller thougt the students +was having to pay too mutch atension to morning +prairs in the chapil and so he and the other feller +screwed up the doors of the chapil one nite and the +nex morning they coodent get into the chapil for 2 +days and they found out that he and the other feller +had bougt sum screws. so they persecuted him for +that and xpelled him. + +then i asted him why he got xpelled the 2nd time +and he sed it was edjucasional persecution of the +wirst kind. i asted him what they done to persecute +him that way and he sed that docter Soule marked +all the fellers down awful low and it dident make +enny difference how hard he studded none of the +fellers cood get a good mark. father sed it was +dredful the amount of whale oil he birnt in lamps +nites studding his greke and latin. he thinks he +must have birnt about 2 hoal whales full but it dident +do enny good. he never cood get a good mark. well +docter Soule kep his marking sheets in his desk and +eech day he marked the felers down feerful low and +locked his sheets in the desk and at the end of the +day he wood give the shets to anothr teecher to add +them up and give out a list of the best scolars. + +well father and another feller got a kee that wood +fit the lock of that desk and evry day they wood get +the sheet and mark evry feller 100 percent and doctor +Soule never looked at it and give them to the +other teecher to add up and evrybody got perfict +marks and evrybody sed it was the best class in the +school. + +well bimeby one day father and the other feller +marked themselfs 125 percent and when the other +teecher added the marks up he found sumthing was +rong. so he spent a weak adding and substrackting +and multipliing and dividing and reduceing to the +leest common denominator and invirtin the diviser +and perceeding as in multiplication and finding the +leest common multipel of and xtracking the squair +root of and at last he maid up his mind that there +was a niger in the woodpile. + +so he took his figgers to old docter Soule and they +set a trap and cougt father and the other feller and +they xpelled them and that was the last of father +in the academy. but while he was there he was +verry poplar becaus they wasent ennything he woodent +do for his classmaits. + +so i gess he was rite when he told old J. Ward +what he did about old docter Soule. father sed he +tride to get back onct moar and he thougt they had +augt to have gave him one moar chanct. if he cood +have been xpelled onct moar he cood beet enny feller +whitch ever went to the academy he was verry +mutch disapointed when they woodent give him another +try so he cood be xpelled onct moar. + +so when we had the nex meating of th Teribl 3 +i wanted them to mark old docter Soule to paist sum +nite but they woodent do it becaus they sed we was +all townies and we woodent notise the academy. +Pewt and Beany was gelous becaus Pewts father +and Beanys father hadent never been xpelled from +nowhere. they thougt i was showing off but i +wasent. + +October 17, 186---brite and fair and hot as summer. +it has been hot for almost a weak. Rob +Bruce, Skinnys brother and Dan Casidy went in +swiming yesterday. they sed it was bully but i bet it +was cold. tonite after school Pewt maid sum sines +whitch we put up after dark. one we put up in +front of old Ike Shutes door. it sed bewair Ike the +Terible 3 is on your trale. that will be enuf to keep +Ike in nites. Ike drives us out of his yard when +he sees us. + +another one we put on Bill Eldriges door. it sed +the vengence of the Terible 3 will folow You Bill +until you are ded or in jale. the last one we put on +Peeliky Tiltons granfathers door becaus he put tin +cans and broaken glass bottels and old hoopskerts +and wire into the swiming hole at sandy bottom and +we cant swim there enny moar. i dont know jest +what we will do to him. it seams as if slingshots +or roten egs aint bad enuf. we will try to scair him +to deth ferst and then we will do sumthings to him +that he will never forget in his life even if he lives +to be 200 years old. the sine sed this old man Tilton +say your prairs for the Terible 3 has got you on +their list. when litening strikes it leaves no traices +of its victims. bewair bewair. + +Pewt rote them with sum stencil plaits his father +has got so nobody will know his hand wrighting. + +October 18, 186---this morning we had speaking +in school. i spoke Horatias at the brige. it made +me think of the Terible 3 when it sed + + the three stood carm and staitly + and looked upon there foes + and a grat shout of laffter + from all the vangard rose + +but all the saim they nocked the stuffing out of +Aunus from grean Tifernum and Seius and the +other fellers and it wasent enny laffin matter for +them and it wont be enny laffin matter with the +Terible 3. old man Tilton dident laff this morning +when he see that sine on his door. he has laid it +onto old Marco Bazzris Wadley and Jack Flinn +and Gimmy Fitsgerald and Moog Carter all ready, +and Luke Manix two and old Ike Shute has had old +Kize and old Swane the Poliseman up to see about +his sine and old Bill Eldrige has been to see 2 lawyers +Alvy Wood and Jug Stickney. everybody but +them is laffin and wundering who the Terible 3 is. +sum of them may find out sum day. + +well this afternoon me and Pewt and Beany went +up river fishing. we dident xpect to get ennything +it was so lait in the fall but Hork and Spitt hadent +been fed for 2 days. we got a lot of shiners and +perch and jest befoar we come back we got the +bigest snaping tirtle i ever see in my life. it was a +ripper and the madest one i ever see. it snaped rite +and left and wood throw his head rite back on his +shell trying to grab us. we had hard wirk to get +a peace of closeline round his hind leg. the only +way we cood do it was to let it bite a stick and +hold on. + +we had desided to use a slingshot on old man +Tilton sum day when he was bending over a sawhorse +and his britches were tite but Pewt sed it +wood be a good thing to scair him to deth with the +snaping tirtle ferst. so we are going to tie him to +old man Tiltons doornob sum nite and ring the +doorbell. we coodent do it tonite becaus evrybody +goes down town Saturday nite to the stores and sets +up lait having baths and things. but look out for +yourself mister old man Tilton for the Terible 3 +in on your trale. + +we xpect a bizzy weak nex weak. + +Oct. 19, 186---Sunday. rainy and windy. had to +go to chirch. the only fun i had was to see peeples +umbrellas blow rongside out and to hear them +sware. sum of them was chirch members two. they +did not belong to the Unitarial chirch. + +Oct. 20, 186---rany as time. i never gnew it to +rane harder. evryone had on rubber boots and umbrelas. +the wind blew terible and all the leeves is +gone and sum branches of trees is blew down. Buldy +Tasker pushed me into the gutter in front of old +Gim Ellersons lacksmith shop and i went in over +my rubber boots. when i got to school i puled off +my boots and poared out the water and there was +about 4 quats in eech boot. it taiks a long time to +dry rubber boots. they say the best way is to fill +them full of otes and after the otes has been in +about a day or 2 poar out the otes and the boots +is dry and the otes is wet. so when i got home i +was going to do it but there wasent moar than a +pec of otes in the baril and Nellie had to be fed so +i had to put the boots upside down behine the stove +in the kitchen. the Terible 3 had a meating and +went down to see our snaping tirtle. he was there +all rite hiched by his old hine leg to a tree and he +was out of site in a pudle of water that the rane +had made. we pulled him out by the hine leg and +he was awful mad and claued and scrached and +snaped. so we let him go back in his pudle after +we had saw that the closeline was all rite. i bet we +will maik old man Tilton gump out of his britches +when he sees that old tirtle hanging to his doorgnob. +i hope he will for enny man whitch will fill +up a swimming hole with old tin cans and glass had +augt to be bit by a ratlesnaik. + +October 21, 186---it has stoped raning today. for +a wunder neether me or Beany or Pewt missed in +our lesons. it dont verry often hapen that way. +i think old Francis thougt we was playing sum sort +of a trick on him for he acked sort of quear and +looked at us sort of hard. tonite we aranged to +meat at Pewts at 8 oh clock. after school we got +a meel bag and went down for our snaping tirtle. +it took nearly a hour to get him into the bag. ferst +we had to ty up his mouth becaus we only want to +scair old man Tilton and not to kill him. it took a +haff hour to do that. we never cood have did it +if it hadent ben for Pewt who can ty gnots like a +sailer. ferst we got the old tirtle mad and then +we give him a stick to bite and then i pulled at it +and Beany pulled at the roap on his hine leg. of +coarse the snaper woodent let go of the stick and +when his head was out strait Pewt put a noos round +his mouth and wound it round and round like ganging +a fishhook on a line and he tide that old tirtles +mouth up titer than a drumhead. + +then we tride to get him in the bag but it was +all we cood do he claud so. bimby we got him in. +then we tide the bag under a bush down behine old +Perry Moultons yard. then we went home. i split +up my kinlins and done my choars and studded till +8 oh clock and then mother sed i cood go down town +with Beany. so i went over to Beanys and it was +dark. so we got Pewt and went down and got the +bag and carried it up Court strete and throug old +Nat Gordons woods until we got to the feeld oposite +old man Tiltons house. + +it was a awful lug and i bet we put it down to rest +50 times but bimeby we got it there. then we tride +to shaik the old snaper out of the bag and it seamed +as if we never cood get him out. bimeby we got +him out and lit sum maches to see his mouth was +tide up tite and it was and the stick was still there +he coodent spitt it out. gosh but he was mad and +tride to snap. there was a lite in old man Tiltons +house and we cood see him setting by a table with +a red cloth and a lamp with a red wick reading. +sumwhere in the back of the house was another lite +and we could hear Peeliky Tiltons uncles practising +band tunes on their horns. they was making a feerful +noise so nobody heard us when we 3 tide the +snapper to the dorgnob. it was all we cood do he +claued so. then when we had him hanging head +downwerds we rung the bell as hard as we cood and +hipered acrost the strete and hid in the bushes behine +the fense. + +we cood see old man Tilton put down his paper +and holler sumthing. i gess he told Peeliky Tiltons +uncles to stop their noise. ennyway it stoped and +he lit a little tin lamp and come to the door and +opened it. we cood hear the old tirtle scraching at +the door and banging his head agenst it as he tried +to snap and the old man heard it and when he +opened the door he looked round throug his old +specks and dident see ennything and then he steped +out on the porch and stuck his hed round the door +and i gess it was lucky he dident take the big lamp +for when he see that old snaper swinging this way +and that way clauing and snaping he let out a yell +you cood heard for 3 miles and droped the lamp and +almost tirned a back sumerset he tride so hard to +get back into the house and slamed the door. then +we heard him hollering for Peeliky Tiltons uncles +and we cood see them come piling into the room and +evryone talked. then they come out of the side +door. Peeliky Tiltons uncle had a lantirn and a ax +and his uncle George had a shot gun and a tin lamp +and his uncle Warren had a pichfork and a torchlite +percession torch and old man Tilton was looking +out of the window. Ed went first with the lantern +and when he saw what it was he sed it is a snaping +tirtle as big as a wash boiler. sum darn fool has +tide it to the gnob. so George sed sumone cut the +roap and we will get him and Warrin he sed look +out them snapers will taik a mans hine leg off at +1 snap and Ed sed hell i aint afrade and he cut the +roap with his ax and the old snaper fell on the steps +and begun to craul off and Ed grabed the roap and +yanked him onto the sidewaulk and he sed hold the +lite Warrin and let the snaper bite a stick and i +will cut his hed off. so Warrin he held a lite and +George got a stick and poaked him and the old +snaper snaped but dident ketch hold and Ed he sed +that is a hell of a snaper. so George poaked him +again and he kep snaping and bimeby Ed sed sum +feller has tide up his mouth with a stick in it. so +then nobody was afrade and they all gethered round +and Peeliky and his father come out of their house +and old man Tilton come out and sed things have +come to a prety pass if a man cant go to his door +without being et alive by a snaping tirtle or knawed +by a rampaiging wilcat or pizened by a hoopskert. + +he meant a hoop snaik but he was xcited, and if the +polise dident do there duty he wood put it in the +hands of the county solissiter and see is respectible +citisens cood be et and lose their lifes without nobody +doing ennything to stop it. and he sed do we +live in Rooshy or Prooshy and dont a man have +enny petection of the law? and he waulked up and +down the porch and banged his cain and hollered +and while he was hollering Ed and George and +Warrin and Peeliky and Peelikys father was taiking +the old snaper into the back yard and they cut his +head off and Ed told Peeliky that the head woodent +die for 7 days. then they come back and told the +old man to shet up and Ed sed they was going to +have tirtle soop and fride chicking, and rost beef +and boiled ham and sossige and quale on tost and +clamb chowder and pigs feet and pork scraps and +hogs head cheze all out of that tirtle. but the old +man kep a hollering and asking if he lived in Rooshy +and Ed sed the old man will feal better tomorrow +when he has drunk about a quat of soop and +et 4 or 5 pounds of diferent kinds of meet from +that old snaper. + +well bimeby they went in and the old man went in +and set down and they begun to play on their horns +and we clim over the fense and went home. i gess +we scart the old man most to deth. if you had saw +him let out the yell and heard him tirn the back +somerset you wood have thougt so. we aint throug +with him yet. a man whitch will stop up a swiming +hol with tin cans and broaken glass aint going to +get off with lesson. and wire two whitch is cumtimes +wirse. and hoopskerts. + +then we all went down town and come up throug +Coart Strete laffing and talking about what we see +in the store winders so our folks wood know we had +been down town. mother sed i was prety lait and +sed that father sed i hadent augt to be out so lait +but she told him i asted if i cood go and she sed yes. +she told me i must come home erlier next time. father +had went to bed so i dident see him and he +dident yip. + +it was the most sucesful meating the Terible 3 has +had. i have got to wright out the report for Pewt +becaus i can spel so mutch beter than Pewt can. so +i cant wright moar tonite in this diry. + +October 28, 186---today the ferst thing i see was +old man Tilton coming down town with his old +cain. he glore at me when i met him and i sed how +do you do mister Tilton and he sed how do how do +and waulked on. so i know he doesnt suspeck us. +i bet he woodent say how do to Gimmy Fitzgerald +or Moog Carter or Luke Mannix or Ticky Moses. +i wached him and he went into the polise stasion. +then he come out and talked with old Swane and +old Mizzery Durgin the polise oficers. his naim +is Ezry but we call him Mizzery. he is the feller +that throwed me out of the town hall the nite father +was going to maik a speach and dident dass +to. old man Tilton pounded his cain on the ground +and hollered. i coodent hear what he sed except +Rooshy and Prooshy so i gess he was triing to find +out where he lived becaus he wanted to know last +nite and nobody told him. i gess he hasent et enny +of that soop yet. i wish we cood have kep that +tirtle. it wood have fed Hork and Spitt for 2 +weaks. i cougt a rat today. an old linger and they +toar him up and et him. Spitt had the ferst whack +at him and i thougt he wasent going to leeve no +coar so i poaked a part of it out with a stick and +gave it to Hork. if i kep Hork and Spitt together +they wood eet eech other up. i wunder if they wood +be ennything left when they got throug. + +ennyway a bullfrog can eet another bullfrog as +big as he is. the one that gets the first snap gets +the other and swalows him down his gozzle with his +feet sticking out of the corner of his mouth. A +bullfrog swalows the other bullfrog hoal. he chews +him up inside like a hen or a boar constricter only +he dont squash him ferst. i am glad i am not a +bullfrog and havent enny teeth in my stomack. how +cood a dentist pull a tooth in a fellers stomack if it +aiked. how cood a feller tell wether it was a tooth +aik or a stomack aik. wood a feller die if he maid a +mistaik and had a dentist pull a tooth whitch was in +his stomack when it dident aik but his stomack did. +if i was a bullfrog i shood like to know them things. +but i aint a bullfrog and i shant have enny teeth in +my stomack unless when i am old and have false +teeth i swalow them when i am aslep as old man +Collins did onct. + +tonite we had company. Aunt Mary and Charles +and Helen and Cad Smith and Steve and Ann Maria +Piper and Annie Piper, and so i coodent go out +after supper but had to stay in and hear Keene and +Cele sing. i can hear them enny day and i had +agreed to go out with Pewt and Beany and try to +brake sum of J. Albert Clarks windows to pay for +telling father when i let out his rooster to fite mine +and mine licked his. if his had licked mine old J. +Albert woodent have yipped. i dont blaim him for +being mad becaus i let them fite when he wasent +there to see and becaus mine licked but no feller that +is a real feller will go tattle taleing to a fellers father +and get him kep in the yard a hoal day. if he +had given me a bat in the ear or had hit me a paist +with his cain i woodent have caired but a feller that +tells on another has got sumthing to learn and that +is what the Terible 3 is for. to lern fellers to behave. + +so i coodent go out and Pewt and Beany sed they +wood try to do it without me. they sed they wood +go up to Pewts yard again and wood try sum grean +apples on a stick and aim more to the rite than they +did when they broak old J. Ward Levitts windows +whitch the stewdcats paid for brakeing. so i kep +my ey pealed becaus J. Albert lives in the other side +of our house and i gnew if ennyone broak his winders +old J. Albert wood come piling in to tell father +it was me and father cood tell him he was a dam +lier becaus i wood be there with father all the time +and father wood know i hadent went out for a +minit. + +so i set in the parlor and father told the story +about the feller whitch got the long hair in his +mouth and lots of stories that maid us nearly kill +ourselfs laffing. then Cele and Keene sung flow +gently sweet Afton and pass under the road and +we shall meat but we shall miss him and my mother +bids me bang my hair and then father maid me sing +alone. i hait to sing alone. i cood have sung with +Keene but he maid me sing alone. i sed what shall +i sing and he sed sing ennything. so i sung a new +virse of if ever i ceese to love. it goes this way + + if ever i ceese to love + if ever i ceese to love + may Horris Greelys cat + have kittens in his hat + if ever i ceese to love + +well father and Steve and Ann Maria and Aunt +Sarah and Aunt Mary and Charles and mother all +laffed but Cele and Keene and Annie Piper sed i +was very disgusting. ennyway father sed i cood +sing ennything. + +well after i had sung Cele and Keene were playing +a peace about Napolion crossing the Alps when +there was a big gingle of glass and a hard apple +came wizzing throug the window and came within +a inch of taiking Steve on the snoot. Keene gave +a screech and evryone gumped up jest as another +hit the side of the house bang. father was out of +the house and down the steps in 2 minits and i after +him. the stewdcats in old mister Heads house were +setting by their table studding in there shert sleaves +and we heard sum one down the strete and father +hipered down strete and i after him. we met Nipper +Brown and his father and father he sed have +you met enny fellers Gus and Nippers father he sed +yes 2 fellers ran down Clifford Strete and me and +father went down Clifford strete and coodent see +enny fellers. so we went back and i picked up a +rock and put it in my pocket. when i ran out after +father i picked up the apple and nobody had seen it. +i gnew if father see that apple with a hole in it he +wood know it was throwed with a stick and he +wood know in a minit who broak old J. Ward +Levitts winders. + +so when we come back to the parlor they sed that +2 more rocks had struck the house while we was +gone and i pertended to pick up the rock i had +brougt in under the otterman. father sed if that +rock had hit you Steven it wood have cooked your +goos. and Ann Maria sed it is a mersy it dident +and Aunt May sed this is a serius matter George +and father sed it is more than that Mary it is a +dam outrage and he and Charles went out again and +i folowed them. ferst they went over to Beanys and +asted his father if he had saw ennyone. he sed he +hadent. then father asted where Elbrige was. Elbrige +is Beany you know and he sed he was up to +Pewts painting sumthing in the shop. so father +come back. he was prety mad and sed he wood +give 100 dollers to find out who throwed them +rocks. and he wood like to know what the polisemen +was for enyway. so he and Charles and Steve +talked about how bad the town was run and what a +tuf set of rowdies there was now a days and how +mutch better it was in the old days. then father he +sed a few days ago sum one put a notise up on +cousin Isaks house sined by the Terible 3 and Ike +hadent been down town sence and hadent been out +day times without having old mother Moulton come +in and set with his wife while he was gone. he sed +Ike had got a pistol and was going to lode it only +he dident know whitch end of it loded and his wife +was moar scart of the pistol than she was of the +Terible 3 whoever the misable cusses was. father +sed that old mother Moulton was moar pertection +than 5 pistols and 2 bull dogs and he wood pity enny +Terrible 3 or Terible 300 whitch wood dass to interfear +with her. + +then old Steve he sed he had heard of sum things +the desperrit villanes had did. they had tide a snaping +tirtle to the doorgnob of old mister Tilton and +he had been prety badly bit by him and that docter +Perry and docter Swet and docter Perrum had all +been called and it was moar than a hour befoar +they stoped the flow of blood. i told them i guess +that wasent so for i see him down town the next +day all rite. i sed the fellers was talking it over at +school and Luke mannix sed that the fellers that +tide the snaper to the doorgnob had tide up his +mouth. he sed he see the snapers head after Ed +Tilton Peeliky Tiltons uncle had cut it off and its +mouth was tide up with a cord. + +Steve sed a feller mite jest as well be bit as +scart to deth and Charles Smith sed that may be +so cussin Stefen but if i had to be boath i wood +ruther be one and i wood ruther be scared to deth +becaus you cood get over being scart to deth but +you mite not get over being bit if you had a hine +leg or arm bit off. ennyway he sed it was time +that the orthoritys of the town got together and +offered a reward for ennybody whitch wood ketch +those fellers. + +father sed onct he and Gim Melcher and Bill +Young usted to get a pocket full of gravil and when +the old fellers was setting round the stove in the +stores smoaking and spitting and talking the fellers +wood open the stoar door and plug a handful of +gravil in and slam the door and run. they done that +for quite a while and bimeby old Boss Langly +whitch kep a store down by great brige offered a +reward of 10 dollers to ennyone whitch wood ketch +them. so he hid 2 nites oposite his store and neerly +froze to deth for it was in november and a cold nite. +bimeby father and Bill and Gim come along and +they all got ready. father sed he peeked into the +store and see all the old pods setting there and he +opened the door and they all pluged the gravil and +started to run and run rite into Boss arms and Boss +grabed father by one neck and Gim by the other +and he waulked them down to fathers fathers +house and sent for old Dan Melcher and he came +hipering up from his house with his coat tales floating +in the breaz. well after they had talked about +an hour fathers father and old Dan Melcher paid +10 dollers to old Boss Langly and agreed to tan the +hide off of father and Gim if old Boss woodent +persecute and woodent tell the other store keepers +who pluged the gravil. and fathers father tanned +the hide off of father and Gims father tanned the +hide off of Gim and Bill got off becaus old Boss +dident have but 2 hands to grab with an had put his +falce teeth in a glass of water behine the stove and +he coodent hold Bill without teeth or he wood have +got Bill two, and father and Gim wasent tattletales. + +father had sed he thought old Boss got prety good +interest for nothing. he got 10 dollers and dident +have to pay enny reward and had the fun of ketching +them and the way they put it on showed that +they liked to do it. so evrybody was satisfide xcept +father and Gim. then Aunt Mary she sed well i +guess you desirved it George and father laffed and +sed i gess i desirved a good deal moar than i ever +got Aunt Mary. father had augt to have licked +me 10 times as often as he did. and then Hellen +Smith sed evrybody tells me George that you was +the meanest boy in the town and father sed no +Hellen i dont think i was meen. i was bad enuf +god knows but i always had lots of frends and kep +them and a meen feller never has frends. and +Hellen she sed well if you wasent a meen boy i +shood like to know what a meen boy was and father +he sed a meen boy or man or girl or woman is one +whitch does meen things to another or says meen +things about them. i dont know whitch is the wirst +but i gess the one whitch says meen things about +peeple. so Hellen she set up and nobody sed ennything +for 2 minits. then Keene got up and went +to the piano and set down and sung + + i'm the girl that's gay and happy + where so ear i chanct to be + and there's sumthing i will tell you + if you will but list to me + +i tell you Keene is rite on hand when there is ennything +going on. bimeby they went home and i went +upstairs. i wonder what Pewt and Beany will say +when they find out that they broak fathers winders +insted of old J. Alberts. it seams funny to have +to pay Pewts father for putting in new panes of +glass in plaice of them whitch Pewt broak. if Pewt +can do this evry nite he can keep the old man bizzy +all the time and make a pile of money. + +October 24, 186---brite and fair and frost last +nite. father waked me up hollering up the stairs. +he sed come down here quick so i piled out of bed +and put on my close as lifely as i cood and went +down 3 steps at a time. when i got there father +told me to come out in front of the house and to +look and i done it and there on old J. Alberts side +of the house was a sine whitch sed + + J. Albert Clark we have broak your win- + ders. this is jest a beginning, moar anon. + bewair. bewair the Terible 3. + +i looked as sirprised as i cood and sed gosh father +then it was the Terible 3 and they was trying to get +even with J. Albert insted of you. i wunder what +he has did to them. but father sed i dont cair what +he has did to them it cant go on this way verry +long befoar sumone will be in jale. when he sed +that i felt as if i dident have enny stomack. then he +hollered for J. Albert and old J. Albert come down +and when he saw the sine and father had told him +about the broaken winder he sed he shood go down +town to the polise stasion and make a complaint and +see if innosent peeple aint going to have enny pertection +under the law. + +then father sed have you did ennything rong to +ennyone Albert whitch mite want to get even with +you and old J. Albert he sed he hadent done rong +to a living sole as far as he gnew and he sed i +gess George they must have got in the rong side +of the house and they ment it for you insted of me +and father sed that may be so Albert but it is almity +quear that they shood call me J. Albert Clark and +hang the sine on your side of the house and J. +Albert dident know what to say to this and so he +sed i gess that is quear but peeple do quear things +sumtimes. then father sed have you heard how +they hung a snaping tirtle on old man Tiltons doorgnob +and rung his bell and he went to the door and +got so badly bit that it took 3 docters to sow him +up. and old J. Albert sed no i dident hear of it +George. is it trew? and father sed i was told +so last nite and i understand other peeple has been +warned and assaulted, and in evry case it has been +a prety meen man. and J. Albert sed well i dont +know what ennyone has got agenst me and if necesery +i shall have a poliseman stay here nites and +father sed it looks to as if it was only the beginning +of sum prety desperit work but if ennything happens +jest gnock on the wall and i will come in on +the gump. + +and old J. Albert sed thank you George i know +i can alwys relie on you and father sed you can +Albert you can but i am afrade you are in for sumthing +verry serius but we must hoap for the best. +so then we went in to breckfast and when we got in +father began to laff and sed there i have give miss +Nancy sumthing to wurry about to pay him for +rasing my rent last month. he wont dass to go +down town nites enny moar than old Ike Shute. + +i sed to father dont you think the Terible 3 will +do sumthing feerful to him and father sed no they +may roten eg him or sumthing like that but they +wont hirt him. i sed do you supose it is big fellers +or little fellers and father sed it must be big fellers +becaus little fellers coodent ty up a snaping tirtles +mouth and coodent ty him to a doorgnob. i figger +it is sum big rowdys that want to be smart. it +must be sum fellers that aint been to school mutch +for that sine is spelt rong in 2 or 3 plaices. so i +dident say enny moar and the hack come for father +and he got in and went to the trane and i felt better. + +After breckfast i went up to Pewts and he and +Beany sed to me gosh Plupy we broak a lot of +winders in old J. Albert Clarks house and put up +a sine and when i told them what they had did they +were suprised as time and they sed well all rite for +you old J. Albert your tirn will come. so i asted +Pewts father to come down and put in a new pane +of glass. and he came down before i went to school. +he sed that peeple were talking about the rain of +lawlissness and that sumthing was going to be did +about it. he sed it probly was being did by sumone +we hadent the leestest idea of, most always when +sum verry unusuel crime is comitted the pirpitraiter +is found to be one of the most respective citisens +of the town. Pewts father sed he callated it wood +be so in this case. he sed he was satisfide it wasent +boys or rowdys but the last pirson we wood suspeck. + +the Exeter Newsleter had a peace in it today. +Beany read it to me and i cpppied it down for the +record. this was what the peace in the Newsleter +sed. + + crime rammpent + +The waive of crime that has broaken out in our +comunety is one that deserves the repribation of +every wirthy citisen haveing the welfair of our town +at hart. the unpreceedented boldness of the miss +creants is sutch as reminds one verry forceably of +the why ohs of New York that infaimus band of +ruffans that plunged the city of New York into a +riot of criminality that bid fair to rival the orgies +of Roam under the rane of Nero. + +we have jest been regoiceing in the convicksion +of the ring leeders of the band of garrotters that +has terrorfide the naboring city of Boston when +we are confrunted with a serious of crimes in our +own town that bid fair to rival the wirst of the +above mensioned atrosities. + +the cowerdly assault upon our wirthy sittizen mister +William Hobbs a man whose mennifoaled and +sterling trates of carackter intitle him to a very +high rank as a cittisen. the dasterdly attact up on +mister Biley J. Tilton whose open handed jennorosity +has done so mutch to maik his naim ornnered +in this community. the repperhensibel nature of +their warning to mister Isak Shute a man whose +jenerous wirth and moddist life has indeered him +to evryone, the coarse thret to mister J. Albert +Clark whose kinliness and good deads are as well +knone as his finanshal ability and probbity, are sutch +as maik the blud of evry onnest man boil in their +vanes. + +it is indeed time that the ofisers of the law take +the most astringint measures to deteck and stamp +out the hoal infernal brood. + +when father come hoam tonite he redd it and +laffed and sed i wunder what dam fool rote that. +ennyone with branes enuf to fill a thimbel had augt +to know that nobudy is going to be hirt. the fellers +that tide up that mud tirtles mouth aint going to +hirt ennyone. the moar the fools talk about it the +moar the fellers that are doing it are going to do +it sum moar. + +i bet old Hobbs and Ike and old Biley Tilton and +J. Albert bougt 100 Exeter Newsleters apeace to +send round to their friends if they have got enny. + +October 25, 186---clowdy and cold. i dident +get licked today in school whitch was a releef. last +nite i woak up and got thinking about the Terible 3 +and what wood hapen if we got cougt and i coodent +go to sleep for moar than 2 hours. i gess the +peace in the Newsleters wurrid me. i wundered +if i had augt to have got up the Terible 3. i had +sevveral narow escaips from the reform school so +father had sed and this was wirse if i got cougt. +so i desided me and Pewt and Beany must be verry +cairful and not leeve enny trase of our dedly wirk. +bimeby i got to sleap and dident get up this morning +untill mother come up and shook me. i hardly +had time to get in my wood and water and eet my +breckfast and hiper to school. i got there jest in +time whitch was probably one reason why i dident +get licked. i tell you when a feller knows his teecher +is watching for a chanct to snach him balheaded +he has to wauk pretty strate. + +this afternoon Pewt had to help his father paint +a fense and Beany went down to Ed Toles and +when Beany is down there i dont go becaus it is ap +to lead to trubble between me and Beany on acount +of Lizzie Tole Eds sister. so when father come +home early on the 2 oh clock trane he had a lait dinner +and we went down to see about getting my boat +up for the winter. so we rew up river to the Eddy +and then rew back. we had to row hard to keep +warm. well when we got back to the worf father +sed less pull the old boat out and we got hold and +pulled her haff way out on the worf and then father +swang her round to get the stirn out and gnocked +me rite into the river with my close on. + +gosh it was as cold as a ice and i swum to the +worf and father the pulled me out and jawed me +for being a fool to get in the way when he hadent +told me what he was going to do. aint that jest +like him. well he made me run all the way home +and then took off my close and he rubed me with +a ruf towel that neerly took my hide off. it was +almost as tuf as when they rubed the black off of +me with bristol brick and seesand when i thougt +i was always going to be a niger. + +then he give me a glass of hot lemonaid and maid +me go to bed. the lemonaid was all rite but i +haited to go to bed. we was going to have a meating +of the Terible 3 and then we was going down +on the square to hear a peddler sell stuff from a +wagon and a big torchlite. but father woodent let +me go. but he brougt me up a new novil. it was +a ripper. the naim of it is Rattlesnaik Redhead the +Red Handed. we will have to have the meating +of the Terible 3 tomorrow after chirch. + +October 26, 186---sunday again and raning hard. +it has raned hard all day. it always ranes sunday +when a feller wants to do sumthing. + +none of the folks went to chirch xcept Cele who +is verry religus. she is throug with the palsams +and is reading the provirbs. father asted me if i +gnew what a provirb was and i sed yes it was a +part of speach that modifide virbs ajectives and +other advirbs. then he begun to laff and they all +laffed. ennyway i bet evrybody but father and +mother and Aunt Sarah and Cele dident know. he +sed the provirbs was the wize sayings of old king +Sollerman whitch was suposed to be the wizest man +in the wirld. + +father sed he coodent quite beleeve that for he +sed enny man whitch had as many wifes as Sollerman +coodent have had horse sence or been a repsective +cittisen. ennyway he sed he was wizer +than old man Purington Pewts grandfather who +rew out to sea 10 miles in a storm one day and +when he got to the shoals where the litehouse and +the big hotels was he landed and clim up the rocks +and when they asted him where he come from he +sed he come from America. + +last nite father went to hear the peddler on the +square. father got a gold stem winder wach for +2 dollers. when he got home he tride to wind it +up and he cood wind it for 15 minutes and it +woodent be enny nearer wound up. so father looked +into it and there wasent ennything in it but the +winder. so father was mad and sed if the Terible 3 +wood roten eg that pedler he gessed evrybody wood +be glad of it + +gosh i dident say nothing but you bet the Terible +3 will have a meating tomorrow erly and they is +going to be sum fun tomorrow nite. + + + + +October 27, 186---this has been a grate day +for te Terible 3. this time we have did sumthing +that evrybody is glad of. xcept jest a few +fellers and sum wimen whitch aint willing to maik +enny sackrifise for the good of the town. bimeby +peeple will see that the Terible 3 is able to do sum +things that the poliseman cant do. + +father sed tonite after he got home that it sirved +old Swane the poliseman and old Mizzery Dirgin +the poliseman that throwed me out of the hall that +time that father was going to make a speech but +dident dass to jest rite. that it was the law that +a pedler coodent pedle things without a license and +old Swane and old Mizzery Dirgin knowed it and +hadent augt to have aloud him to do it and if they +had did their duty father woodnt have lost 2 dollers +in bying a tin wach without enny wirks in it. +father sed he woodent have missed it for 10 dollers +and he wood like to know who done it. i sed +peraps it was the Terible 3 and he sed if it is peeple +had augt to forgive them for what they had did to +old Biley and old Bill and old Ike and old Ward +and old J. Albert. i wanted to tell him but of +coarse my othe woodent alow me to tell. i bet +father wood make a awful good member. if he +was a member we wood have to call it the Terible +4 and then peraps Beany and Pwet wood have to +have there fathers in it and we wood have to call it +the Terible 6. + +So i gess it is all rite to leeve it as it is, but if +we ever get up another one father will have to join. +jest imagine ennyone ketching us and triing to lick +us when father was round. + +i havent stoped laffing yet over it. if enny of +the peeple whitch got pluged ever find out who done +it they will kill us dead. but they wont never find +it out. + +well this morning i got up and et my breckfast +and done my choars and went over to Beanys and +got him and we went up to Pewts and had a meating +of the Terible 3 and i told them what father +sed and what the pedler done to hime and that the +pedler was going to pedle there tonite and that it +was our chanct to do good wirk and to maik a naim +for ourselfs. so Pewt took us out to where his +father had set a lot of hens and there was lots of +hens and there was lots of egs that dident hach. +sum of them was so lite that you coodent plug them +verry far and sum of them whitch were heavy had +ded chickings in them. we broke 1 of eech kind +to see whitch smelt the wirst and we coodent tell. +both smelt so bad that we had to go out of the coop +and wait till it aird out. then we pluged 1 of eech +kind agenst the fense. the lits one popped the loudest +and the chicking one spatered the most. they +was 36 left. + +Well Beany sed his father was papering sum +rooms in Masonick block in the 2th story for General +Maston and that he was going to Portsmuth +tonite to a masonick meating. so Beany sed he +wood get the kee of the office and we wood go up +there and lock the door and open the windows easy +and not have enny lite birning and we cood see +evrybody in the square and nobody cood see us +and he gessed mister pedler wood think sumbody +had throwed a skunk at him. + +well i have forgoten wether i got licked in school +today or not. i dont think i did but i aint sure. i +dident think of ennything but what we was to do +to the pedler and old Francis grabed me and +shook me up and give me 2 or 3 bats and stood +me on the platform for a hour. so i dident get +licked after all. i thougt i wood remember it if +i was licked. + +well after supper i studded until haff past seven +and Cele done all of my xamples if i wood let her +read Ratlesnaik Red Head the red Handed after +she had read 2 provirbs. so i let her have it and +after i had coppied the xamples i hipered over to +Beanys. he and Pewt were ready. we devided the +egs and filled our pockets with them and then we +went down town. + +when we got there the pedler was standing in his +wagon in the square. and he had a big torchlite and +he was hollering and holding up things to sell. they +was a crowd of peeple round him men and wimmen +and boys and girls. we went down to masonick +block and went up stairs. we dident meat ennybody +and the stairs were pich dark. we unlocked the door +of the office and went in and opened the winders +eesy. it was lucky we did becaus Beany run into +a table in the dark and broak 2 egs in his pocket. +murder how they smelt. we had to stick our heads +out of the window to breeth. Beany sed what am +i to say to father and mother when they smell me +and find i have got roten eg on my close and Pewt +sed we fill say we were in the crowd and got hit and +nobody will think we pluged ourselfs. i tell you +Pewt is awful smart to think up things. that is +why he gits so few lickings in school and me and +Beany get so menny. so after we had got all the +egs out of our pockets and in litle piles ready and +cood breeth inside we all got ready. the old pedler +had a bottle in his hand and sed now ladies and +gentlemen i have here a bottel of my selibrated +panyseer compounded by the most destinkwished +chemists in Europe and of the purist and most +xpensive drugs and warranted to cure headake, earake, +backake, bellyake, hartake, rumatism, growing +panes, varicose vanes, bunions, corns, ingrowing tonales, +scroffuler, siattikeer, lung fevers, scarlet +feever, meezles, hooping coff mumps and croop. +children cry for it, old maids sy for it, you must +have it. waulk up, run up, gump up, tumble up +ennyway to get up only fetch your money up and +all for 1 doller. + +jest as he sed that Pewt let ding with a chicking +eg as hard as he cood. it wood have took old mister +pedler square in the head but jest then he leened +down to take a doller and it went over his head and +took old Mizzery Dirgin who was standing facing +towerds us rite square in the mouth and spatered +all over him. i bet he gumped 9 feet in the air +and then begun to hoop and gag and rushed for the +horse troth and put his head in and soused it round +and the peeple all begun to laff and holler and old +Mizzery gumped up all driping and arested Mike +Prescot for being drunk and begun to drag him off +and Mike held back and fit and old Swane grabed +him to help old Mizzery and we let ding as fast +as we cood and old Swane got one rite between the +sholders and one rite in the back of his head that +popped like a pistol and he let go of Mike and +rushed for the troth and put his head in and while +the old pedler was laffing his head off he got 2 +chicking egs 1 in his shert bosum and one rite +square in the eye and i never heard sutch swaring +and hooping and gaging in my life and and sheriff +Odlin who was standing on the curbstone got one +in his stovepipe hat and of coarse he had to arest +sumone and he took Bill Hartnitt and waulked him +off and as soon as the old pedler got enuf of the eg +out of his ey so he cood see and breeth he grabed +the ranes and liked his horse round the corner. +peeple were rushing round and triing to get out of +the way and sum were hollering murder what a +stink and sum were hollering hell what a stink and +sum were laffing their heads off and bending over +and slaping their gnees and leening agenst trees +and holding their sides and sum were swaring and +getting the polisemen to arest inosent peeple whitch +hadent done nothing and one man with a streek of +yellow down his back where he had got a popper +was offering 500 dollers for the man whitch wood +tell him who throwed them rotten egs. i see father +there talking with old Swane and old Mizzery and +shaking his head. father dident get hit but Pewts +father did. he got a popper in the coat tale and he +was mad. he wood have been madder if he had +gnew it was his eg. + +of coarse we hit a good many peeple that we +dident meen to hit. they shoodent have been in +the way and they coodent blaim ennybody but themselfs. +but i supose they wood about kill us if they +gnew who done it. peeple is prety unreesonable +sumtimes. but we drove the old pedler away and +saved a grate del of money for the peeple and we +pluged old Swane and old Mizzery Dirgin and +evrybody was glad of that. of coarse when a feller +gets a roten eg in the ey or in the middle of his +vest when he has got his best close on he dont feel +xacly plesant towerds ennybody. after tonite i +gess evrybody will ware their old close when they +go out to hear a pedler pedle. + +well while the peeple was hollering and swaring +and holding their nose and being arested for being +drunk by old Swane and old Mizzery and Sheriff +Odlin and being draged into the lockup me and +Beany and Pewt shet the winders of the office and +we come down stairs and went home. when we +got to my house we all went in. mother and Aunt +Sarah and Keene and Cele was setting up. well +when he went in and begun to talk mother and +Aunt Sarah begun to maik awful faces and Keene +and Cele sed phew what a awful smell and mother +sed Keene open the windows quick and sumone birn +a rag. what in the wirld have you stepped in boys, +go out and scrape your feet on the scraper and wipe +them on the mat. you had augt to be moar cairful +where you step and Beany he sed it aint that misses +Shute i got hit with a roten eg when sumone roten +eged the pedled and mother sed i dont want to be +unpolite Elbrige, Elbrige is Beany you know, but i +think you had better stand in teh doorway while +you xplain. so Beany stood there and we were telling +about it while Keene leened out of the window +and hollered phew and mother and Aunt Sarah held +their nose when father come in and the minit he +come in he sed Geerusalem the golden naim ever +dear to me will that smell folow me all the days of +my life till i dwell in the house of the lord forever, +and mother sed George i realy wish you woodent +talk so befoar the children and father sed all rite +Joey, he calls mother Joey you know, i wont, but +it is verry triiing to a man of my partickuler disposision +to return to the buzum of his familiy to +find the intire homested smeling like a combineasion +of a glu factory, a fertilizer factory and a ded horse +whitch has been left 3 weaks in a hot July sun. +and mother sed for heavens saik George dont say +enny more. it is bad enuf without thinking of +sutch dredful things. and father sed i wont Joey +only you shood not have interrupted me and tirned +me from my religious medditasions. i was doing +prety well. then Aunt Sarah sed if you aint moar +choise in your langage you never will dwell in the +house of the Lord but sumwhere elce, and father +sed tell me sumthing new and dont scair me to deth +Sarah. but how in the wirld did that smell get +here, and me and Beany and Pewt all hollered +Beany got a eg in the side and father sed i shood +think he did and the best thing Beany can do is to +go home and chainge his close. it is neerly 10 oh +clock and we have got to go to bed sumtime tonite. + +so Pewet and Beany went home and father set down +and mother shet the winders and father told us +about it and how meny got hit and what they sed +and we all nearly dide laffing as we always do when +father tells stories, and father sed Gim Ellison got +hit in the middle of his vest and went home holding +his nose up in the air so high that he run bang into +a tree and broak his speckticles, and old Bradbiry +Purington, Pewts father went home holding his +coat tale up like a woman holds up her trane. he +sed that old Mag Mackflannery got hit and went +rite down to old Bill Morrils house and maid so +mutch fuss that Bill promised her a new dress if +she wood shet up and go home. he sed Bill sed he +will never run for selickman again. it keeps him +in hot water all the time. he sed Bill sed if he +hadent agreed to by her a new dress she wood have +drove him into a loonitick assilem. + +father he sed it was wirth 25 dollers of enny +mans money to see old Swane and old Dirgin get +it and they hadent enny rite to arest Mike and Bill +and Gimmy Josy whitch wasent doing nothing but +standing round, and wasent drunk enuf to be arested, +and he sed he and Amos Tuck went in and baled +them all out and that was why he was lait. father +sed he wished moar egs had hit the polisemen and +he wished he gnew the fellers whitch throwed the +egs he wood give them 5 dollars. + +gosh i wanted to tell him but my othe forbid but +i wish we cood get that 5 dolers. father sed if the +Terible 3 done it they hadent augt to be blaimed +for ennything they had done to old Biley and the +others. then he told me and Keene and Cele to go +to bed and we done it. while i was wrighting i +remembered what father sed about baling out old +Mike and Gimmy Josy and Bill Hartnitt and i hollered +down stairs and sed father how did you go +to wirk to bale out them fellers. and father sed i +used a stomack pump of coarse. how did you +supose i done it, with a dipper. now you go to +bed. so i went back and shet my door. + +i tell you father knows how to do things. he +pumped all the rumm out of them fellers and when +they are tride in coart tomorrow and old Swane and +old Mizzery sware that they was drunk the jug will +tell them they is dam liers and a disgraice to the +perfession. i wish i cood go to coart and hear the +jug say that but i supose i have got to go to school. +tomorrow i will wright the report for Pewt to copy +becaus i can spel so mutch beter than Pewt. + +October 28, 186---brite and fair. gosh the funniest +thing happened to Pewt and to Beany. when +Pewt got home his father was there and auful mad +because he had got a poper on the coat tale becaus +he was going to a temprunce meating tonite and +was going to set on the platform and Pewts mother +sed it wood be a weak befoar he cood ware that +coat again becaus she wood have to boil it in 2 +waters and rince it in and 3 and then dry it and ion +it. so Pewts father coodent set on the platform +at the temprunce meating and he was mad enuf +to lick his grate granfather. + +if Pewt had gnew enuf to keep still he wood have +been all rite but he wanted to be funy and he sed +that is a funy way to boil egs and old man Purinton +grabed him and lambasted him with his ratan can +till you cood have heard Pewt holler down town. +it was tuf on Pewt but he dident get a lot of lickings +he ougt to have got and i gess he cant complane. + +and Beany had tuf luck two for when he went +into the house they maid him go out and take off +his jaket and his father licked him for spoling his +close and maiking sutch a smell until Beany hollered +as loud as Pewt. for onct in my life i had sum +good luck for i got up the hoal thing and they got +licked for it. i supose it aint rite for 1 of the +Terible 3 to laff when the other 2 gets licked but +i cant help it. + +tonite we dident do nothing but put up another +sine on old Ikes house it sed. + + bewair Isak the hour of retrobusion is at hand. + the Terible 3 + +i xpect to hear sumthing from Ike tomorrow. + +October 29, 186---today neither Pewt nor Beany +cood go out of the yard xcept to go to school. they +boath sed they wood be willing to stay in the yard +the hoal day if they cood stay away from school +but they thougt it was tuf to have to go to school +and run the risk of being licked and then stay in +the yard when the other fellers was having a good time. + +but i done the best i cood to help them out. +after school this morning i got a croud of fellers +to go up to Pewts. they was Pop Clark and Hunny +Donovan and Ham Welsh and Skinny Bruce and +Jack and Gim Melvin and we staid there until Pewts +father drove us out and after school this afternoon +i got the saim croud to go over to Beanys so he +woodent be loansum and we staid there till Beanys +father drove us out. Beanys father told my father +that it was more punishment for his family when +he kep Beany in the yard than it was to Beany becaus +evry time he kept Beany in the yard all his +frends come in and rased particklar hell. + +tonite old Ike sent for father and wanted to know +if he wood come up and stay with him until nine +oh clock when he was going to have a poliseman +stay all nite to perteck him from the Terrible 3. +father he sent him word that he wood be up after +supper. he had to go down town a few minits and +he sent me up to tell him and to say that he had +better stay in and keep the doors locked. he told +me to tell him he wood give 3 gnocks but not to +open the doer for enyone elce. + +Aunt Sarah sed George do you really think they +is enny dainger. and father sed not a bit. sumone +is having fun with Ike and Aunt Sarah sed +why do you want to scare him to deth and father +sed sister mine our gentle cussin Isak has had far +two easy a life and it is a good thing to instil into +his mind the idea that moths and rust do corrup +and theeves braik throug and steel. then aunt Sarah +tride not to laff and sed i think it is a shaim to +wurry so good a man as he is and father sed. + + sister thou wast mild and luvly + gentle as the summer breaz. + +but it is hard to convinse you that desperrit cases +need desperrit remmedies. now this is a desperrit +case. verry desperrit. supose the Terible 3 shood +kidnap Ike and hold him for ransum. who wood +give 5 cents for Ike? who wood give ten, have +i enny offers. maik it 7 1/2 cents. no offers maik +it six. do i have enny offers. no by saint bride of +Bothwel no let the portculis fall. and i wood have +to go throug life uncheered by the companonship +of Ike. + +then aunt Sarah sed George do be sensible for +onct in your life. jest onct. are you going to +scare that poor man to deth or not? and father +he sed far from it sweet sister. i shall be kindness +itself. is it kindness in the docter when he +conceles the faital naiture of a diseeze from a diing +man and alows him to go whooping into the vast +beyond without a chanct to repent. is that kindnes +sister? ecco answers not by a dam site sister. +it aint kindnes. it wood have been kindnes to tell +him the gig was up and give him a chanct to maik +his will and pay a few notes and by sum paper +with black eges and 40 or 50 yards of craip for a +fale for his wife. + +so it will be my duty, sister, in spite of your +prairs and teers, not to concele from Isak the seerius +nature of the thret maid by the Terible 3. have you +ever reelized how my boyhood was blited by the +thrashings it received becaus i was a bit rude to my +gentle cussen Ike. and do you reelize how many +hundred times he was held up to me as a moddle and +how i was erged sumtimes prairfuly by mother and +moar often strapfuly by father to emulait his vertus. +and do you think, sweet but earring sister that i will +alow sutch a opertunity of asureing him of my pertecksion +and simpathy to pass. + + o the demon and his bride + and the grate grate owl + by all his curage tride + in the popes sanbowl + +i gess not, Sarah mine. i shall go up and convinse +Isak that the wicked stand in slepery plaices and +that the way of the transgresor is hard. Isak has +called upon his cussen for pertecksion. wood you +have me fale him, speek woman. + +then aunt Sarah began to laff and sed there is no +use in talking to you when you are fealing like that +and i shall not say enny moar and she went off. +i gnew there wood be sum fun for they always is +when father talks like that and so i asted father if +i cood go up to Ikes with him. he sed i cood go +but i must let him do the talking and not say a word +unless i was asted to. so i sed i wood be cairful +and we went up. it was not quite dark and when +we got up there father gnocked 3 gnocks and we +heard sumone say who is there, and father sed it +is me George and then Ike unlocked 3 or 4 locks +and opened it about 5 inchs and it was held by a +chane. then he peeped out and sed is it you George. +who have you got with you and father sed this is +my boy Harry. then he sed to me this is cussen +Isak and i sed how do you do cussen Isak and he +sed how do you do and i sed i spoke to you one day +and you dident know me and so i told father if he +ever got a chanct to interduce me. + +the Ike sed i am a little neer sited and i sed i +see you are cussen Isak and then father nugged me +with his elbo and i dident say enything moar. + +then father sed you havent heard enything moar of +the kidnapers and Ike he give a sort of gump and +sed do you think cussen George that they is kidnapers +and father sed i have thought so from sum +things i have heard. and old Ike sed what have you +heard and father sed well Isak i dont want to friten +you but you had augt to know this. jist then Ikes +wife Mary come in. we call her Mary Isak becaus +they is so mutch alike and never goes enywhere +and jest sets and rocks in rocking chairs and looks +at each other. + +when she come in father got up and shook hands +with Mary Isak and interduced me and she asted +him if he thougt they was verry daingerous men +and father laffed and sed no cussen Mary there +isent the leest dainger in the wirld. it is only sum +smart fellers that wants to have a little fun with +sum of our best cittisens and they isent the leest +need of wurrying. so you go to bed and i will set +up and talk with Isak until the poliseman comes up. + +so Mary Isak went up stairs and Isak begun to +perk up quite a lots until father sed as i was saying +Isak when cussen Mary come in, i have read +the papers cairfuly and there has been quite a number +of cases cimmiler to this. 1 in Milton masschusetts +and 1 in Lewiston maine and 2 in new +york State. in eech case warnings was hung up +like these and in each case a verry ritch and promminent +cittisen was kidnaped and held for ransum. +the man in Milton had to pay 35 hundred dollars +and the man in Lewiston paid i think 48 hundred +dollars they wanted 5 thousand dollars but all he +cood rase was 48 hundred and the 2 in New York +had to pay 9 thousand apeace. but you know prises +is higher in New York. probly you woodent have +to pay moar than 5 thousand. + +well all this time old Ike had been setting ferst +in one chair and then in another chair and puling his +wiskers and when father sed this he gave a grone +and sed aint there no pertection under the law? and +father sed the matter is being vestigated and persecution +will folow enny falce step that the villins +make. the trubble is they are verry hard to ketch + +then Ike sed isent there sum way out of it and +father sed i have been thinking Isak why dont you +and J. Albert Clark and Biley Tilton and the other +fellers whitch has been warned make up a purce +like you and sum of the fellers done when they was +afrade of being draffed in the civil war to hire +substitoots. then if the scoundrils get one of you +the others will help pay his ransum. well Ike he +thought that mite be a good idea and he sed he wood +see sum of them tomorrow if the Terible 3 dident +get him befoar morning. then father sed dont wurry +a bit Isak while i am here they will have to get you +over my ded body and Ike sed thank you George +you were always a kind frend and father sed yes Isak +we was frends but not xactly Damin and Pithius. + +well bimeby the poliseman come up and it was +old Filander Kize and he was smoaking a old black +pipe that smelled wirse than one of our poppers +that we pluged at the pedler and old Ike sed have +you got to smoak that mister Kize and old Filander +sed yes it is the only thing that will keep me awake +and so Ike sed well i supose i shall have to stand +it. so me and father come away after shaking +hands with old Ike and father told him to go to bed +and to get a good nites rest and not to wurry and +then we come away and we cood hear him locking +all the locks and bolting all the bolts and puting up +the chane so the Terible 3 coodent kidnap him. + +when we was going home father began to laff and +sed i supose i was a meen cus to wurry cussen Isak +like that but all my life he has been held up to me +as a moddle and if i thougt you wood tirn out like +him i shood feal like throwing you over the brige +in a bag with rocks in it. think of living a life +without fun. gosh he mite have been a useful cittizen +if he hadent been so cussed good. how ever +i will go up tomorow and chirk him up a little. + +when we got home mother and Sarah was setting +up and darning stockings and Sarah sed well George +did you wurry the poar man out of his wits and +father sed piece woman i treeted him with the uttmost +kindness and was a grate cumfort to him. +of coarse i was cairful not to under estimait the +dainger for feer that Ike mite be bold to rashniss +and xpose himself needlessly to dainger. it wasent +verry hard to perswuade him to stay in the house +for a weak or 2. indeed i think i wood have had +to fite hard to get him out. but when i left him i +asured him taht if wirst come to wirst he cood +probly be able to pay his ransum if it wasent moar +than 20 thousand dollers. i thougt he was going +to faint ded away then and i told him with +me and Melander Kize and old Swane and Mizzery +Dugin and old Brown willing ot sackrifise our lifes +for him he needent wurry. + +then Aunt Sarah sed and she coodent talk verry +well because she was triing to bite a thred off, i +think i shall go up and tell cussen Isak that you +are jest stirring him up and father sed he will not +beleeve you for i told him the hoal family but me +had tirned agenst him straingly becaus they thougt +he has did sum dredfill thing that wont see the lite +of day and that Harry and I are the only ones +that stand up for him and Aunt Sarah bit off the +thred with a snap and sed George Shute if i cood +beleeve a single wird you say i shood be verry indignent, +and father sed it is harroing to be so +douted and missunderstood by them whitch is deer +to you and he pertended to burst into teers and sed +he wood go to bed and weap his piller sopping wet +and he made up a auful face and winked at mother +and went up stairs and Aunt Sarah sed to mother +what a man he wood have been on the staige. he +wood have beet comical Brown and Artimus Ward +and Joshua Billings all to peaces, and mother she sed +yes he wood but i prefir him jest as he is. + + + + +October 29, 186---rany again. it hasent done +enything but rane for 3 weaks. it was so rany +that we coodent put up eny sines or comit eny +crimes. i saw old Filander coming down from Ikes +this morning and when i went to school i say Mary +Isak with all the winders open airing out the house. + +October 30, 186---cold and windy. all the horse +chesnuts in frunt of Sheriff Odlins place has fell +down and all the fellers is stringing them on strings +and pluging them over the telligraf wires. of coarse +me and Beany and Pewt does it to pass away the +time and devert suspishons. we have got moar +serius things to think about. saw old Filander come +down from Ikes again today and saw Mary Isak +airing out the house again. tonite father went up +again to cumfort Ike. father says that he dont +think Ike cood et along without his sunny precence. + +every time father comes home from Ikes he says +Ike sends down town for a man to put on a new +chane or a new lock on the door. father says if he +goes a few moar times he will get him to put iron bars +in the winders. old mother Moulton stays there +days. father says he hasent had so mutch fun sence +he took laffin gas and cleened out docter Johnsons +ofice and throwed docter Johnson out of one winder +and docter Prey out of the other and Gim Melcher +down stairs. + +October 31, 186---Hork and Spit both dide today. +give them a big ded rat that old mis Dire +give me. they toar it into bits and et it fir and +all and when i come home from school they was +both ded and all curled up. i asted old mis Dire +how she cougt the rat and she sed she poizened it +with rat poisen only she called it rat poizen. i +told her it killed my horks and she sed she was sorry +but she forgot to tell me. i thougt at ferst that +she done it perpose to pay me for sending her old +cat to Haverhill but i gess she dident. we had a +meating of the Terible 3 today and if she had done +it a perpose we wood have atended to her case even +if she was a woman. while the Terible 3 dont maik +war on wimmen, we dont perpose to have wimmin +maik war on us. + +Filander is still at Ikes. tonite we drawed lots +to see witch shood go up with a sine to Biley Tiltons. +i got the shortest straw and had to go. Pewt +had printed a sine whitch sed. + + Bewaire the vengunce of the Terible 3 + it spairith not the wicked man. + but it strikith in darkniss. Bewair. + +when i got up there old Biley was setting by his +door with a gun over his gnees. i sed how do you +do mister Tilton and he sed how do how do. i pertended +i come up to see Luke Mannix but he wasent +to home and i come back. i dident leeve the sine +you bet. + +November 1. J. Albert Clark has got a bull dog. +he bougt it of old Mike Casidy. he keeps it to +perteck him from the Terible 3. father thougt +he had augt to have moar pertecksion and told him +so. father is verry kind to J. Albert and to Ike. + +we have maid father a onery member of the Terible +3. woodent he be surprised if he gnew it. of +coarse we cant tell him he is a onery member but +he is. i asted Pewt and Beany if they dident want +their fathers to be maid onery members and they +sed no, that their fathers had licked them for nothing +the nite we roten eged the pedler and they wood +voat agenst it. so that is what they get for not +helping the Terible 3. + +well tonite when J. Albert come home and tride to +go into the house the bull dog grabed him by the +hine leg and nearly toar his britches off and he +slamed the door on his hed before he wood let go +and J. Albert had to set in the barn while he sent +down to old Mikes to get him to come up and make +the bull dog let him in. so after a while old Mike +come up and maid the dog let him in. then he maid +J. Albert feed the dog and pat him and he told the +dog J. Albert was his frend and he sed the dog +gnew moar than a man and they woodent be eny +moar trubble with him after this. and he maid +J. Albert pay him anuther doller for coming up +and maiking the dog mind J. Albert. it was lucky +J. Albert had on his second best close and it wasent +his best lavender britches that the dog toar. after +supper tonite J. Albert took the bull dog out for a +walk hiched to him with a chane and a coller round +his neck and ferst the dog chased a cat and draged +old J. Albert about 10 rods befoar he cood stop him +and the woman whitch oaned the cat come out and +told J. Albert he wasent eny gentleman for keaping +a feerosius dog and J. Albert was bowing and taiking +off his hat and asting her parden when the ferosius +dog started after another cat and J. Albert +lost his hat and had to hiper a long distence holding +back with his hine legs sticking out in front +and triing to stop him and hollering whoa. + +well when J. Albert got him stoped he got a +stick and was going to lick him but the dog grouled +and J. Albert thougt he woodent lick him after all +so he went back after his hat puling the bull dog +along and stoping evry time he come to a tree or +a post, then he got his hat whitch had been run +over by a dingle cart with a lode of hay. well J. +Albert got his hat and pushed it into shaip and +brushed it and put it on and started off again with +the dog. and when he was going by old Si Smith +store old Sis big white dog come out and piched +into J. Albert dog and you had augt to have saw +that fite. it was a ripper. they stood up and toar +at each others gozzles and rassled and rolled over +in the dirt and bit and shook and knawed each +other. and old Si come out and lammed then with +his cain and swoar at J. Albert and old Shep Hogden +and Gimmy Bedell pulled their tales and hine +legs and throwed water on them and hit them with +brickbats and J. Albert pulled at the chane and +hollered and Lamp Flood was a going to lick J. +Albert who hadent done nothing to him when father +grabed him by the neck and neerly yanked his head +off and throwed him in the guter. bimeby a feller +from Mager Blakes stable told Shep to pull on one +dogs hine leg and Gimmy to pull on the other and +when they had the dogs rite out strate the feller lit +a sulfer match rite under their noses and they let +go prety quick and Shep and Gimmy pulled them +apart. the sulfer maid them choak and they had +to let go to breeth. it was a buly fite and old J. +Albert done well. + +i wish you cood have saw old Lamp Flood go +fluking into the guter. + +November 2, 186---sunday again. it comes round +prety often i think. Saturday dont seam to come +round as often as sunday. today there was a little. this +morning old J. Albert started to go down stairs +and the bull dog woodent let him. i ges in the +xcitement of the fite and chaising the cats he had +forgot that J. Albert was his master. J. Albert +gnocked on the wall and wanted father to take the +kee and open the door and get the bull dog out, +and father sed are you saif J. Albert where you are +and J. Albert sed yes he cant get me up here but i +dont want to stay here the rest of my life, and father +sed if you are saif you will have to stay there till i +can send down for old Mike to come up. i dont +have eny grate hankering to have a bull dog hanging +to me for the rest of my life eether. so maik yourself +to home and reed a few chapters of the bible for +this is sunday and i gess towerds supper time old +Mike will come up. then J. Albert sed cant you get +a gun and shoot him throug the winder and father +sed it is sunday Albert and i am verry perticler +about using fire arms on this sacrid day but if you +will posess your sole in pashents i will see what can +be did. + +So J. Albert shet the window and father told me +to go down and get old Mike and i done it and +Mike come up with me and J. Albert throwed out +the kee and old Mike opened the door and the bull +dog waged his tale when he saw old Mike and +wigled round jist like a puppy, he was so glad to +see him, and J. Albert come down and told Mike +he had ruther be kidnaped than et by a bull dog +and he sed Mike had got to taik back the dog and +give back his 10 dollers whitch J. Albert had gave +him and Mike sed not by a dom site a bargin was +a bargin and J. Albert sed he dident bargin for a +dog to eet breckfast dinner and supper off of him +and old Mike sed he asted for a dog that woodent +let enybody into the house and he got one. and +J. Albert sed he xpected to be able to get into his +oan house and old Mike sed he dident say enything +about that when they traded and after they had +talked and jawed about it J. Albert sed Mike cood +have the bull dog if he wood taik him off to onct +and Mike he done it and went off smoaking his old +pipe and the bull dog gumped up on him and wigling +his tale. + +enyway aunt Clark J. Alberts mother is coming +home tomorow and i wood like to see enyone kidnap +J. Albert when she is around. Filander is still at Ikes. + +November 3, 186---cold as time this morning. i +saw a flock of robins eeting sum red berrys on a +tree. the blackberds has all gone 2 weaks ago. +Potter Gorham says they follow the cost line down +south stoping evry day somewhere to eet. the robins +goes last and sumtimes stays here all winter. i +have never saw a robin in winter but Potter sed he +see one onct. + +Potter knows all about birds and animals and +insex and things. he is going to be a natturalist +sum day. i wood ruther be a natturalist than enything +in this wirld xcept a band player. so i am +going to be a band player and play the e flatulent +cornet becaus that is the highest and the loudest +and the eesiest to carry round. + +the trumboan is pretty good and if i cant play +the cornet i shood like to play the trumboan. if +sum feller wood maik a trumboan that wood have +the 2 parts slip into eech other so far that there +woodent be enything left then a feller cood put +in into his vest poket when he wasent playing it +and nobody wood know he had it. it wood be grate +fun to taik your trumboan sliped together in your +vest poket to chirch and when the old minister was +preeching auful tiresum and old mister Blake and +old Han. Dow and old Steve Gail and all the other +men in the chirch are sleeping and injoying the +sirmon verry mutch indeed thank you to taik the +trumboan out of your vest poket and put it together +and blow a auful toot ratetatoot as loud as +you can and see all the old pods gump up and sum +of them hit their heads on the phew in frunt of +them where they has been leening their heads in an +atitood of prair and the old minister loose his plaice +and gump ten paiges to 7thly insted of 4thly. and +when old C. Lovell 2th whitch is sumtimes sexton +and sumtimes suprintendent of the sunday school +comes round to see who blowed the horn and to +put him out they aint no horn enywhere and sum +folks think it may be the last trump of Gabril. if i +ever get time i am going to try to maik a trumboan +like that but i am so bizzy with the afairs of the +Terible 3 that i cant spend eny time in sutch things +as them. + +Tonite we put the sine Pewt rote for old Biley +Tilton on Ikes house. we had a meating of the +Terible 3 and we desided that we woodent do eny +moar at present to old Biley becaus when a man +sets in his garden with a shot gun on his gnees +and dont ast the polise to help him they aint mutch +use to do enything to him. bimeby peraps we may +have a chanct. we also desided not to do eny moar +to J. Albert becaus he done so well in the dog fite +and was so perlite to the woman when she sed he +was no gentlemen when it wasent his falt becaus +he coodent stop the dog from chaising her cat the +ferst yank but done the best he cood. so we aint +ging to bother him eny moar. so we put up a sine on +his house and neerly got cougt but dident quite. it sed + +J. Albert Clark. the Terible 3 has desided that +they has maid a mistaik in your case. you done +splended in the dog fite and you hung on to the +chane and dident let go when Lamp Flood was going +to lick you whitch took grate curage. The +Terible 3 think you are a good feller and are your +frends for life. The Terible 3. + +November 4, 186---Today Ike got old Swane to +stay there. he smoaks a wirse smeling pipe than old +Filander. Filander stays nites and old Swane daytimes. +Ike sent for father and father advised him +to have sumbody round all the time. it costs a lot +of money but father says nobudy wood know the +vallue of money unless they spends it. Ike thinks +sumthing is going to hapen prety soon. + +November 5, 186---rany today. i gess it was +lucky it was for if it hadent been for the rane Ikes +house wood have birne down. gosh the Terible 3 +is fealing prety wurried. last nite at 3 oh clock +the bells begun to ring and in heard peeple hollering +fire. i gumped up prety lifely and i cood hear +father yelling for his britches. we got to the frunt +door together and we cood see a big blaiz up towards +Ikes. gosh i was scart. when father sed them +devils has did it at last i thougt it was all boys +play but i gess it was real. it means stait prizon for +life for sombudy. i was so scart that i cood hardly +maik my hine legs go but i kep up. all the bells +was ringing and evrybudy was hollering fire. when +we got there Pewts father and Beanys father and +old Filander and old Nat Weaks and old Bill Greanleef +and old printer Smith and old Parry Moulton +and old Gus Brown and Pewt and Beany and evryone +were pumping water into lether buckets and +pales and hollering where in hell is the ingines and +this is a hell of a fire dipartment and rushing round +and getting in each others way and swaring and +luging out the firniture and throwing crockery +through the windows. old Bill Greanleaf lowered +his wife out of her chamber by tying her to a sheet +and then clim down hisself when all he had to do +was to go down stares and out of the door. and +it was only 10 feet high and they cood have gumped +if necesary. old Mrs. Sawyer fainted ded away +and sumbudy throwed a pale of water on her and +she gumped up and called him all the naims she +cood think of. + +jest then the Torent No 2 come down the strete +with the men on the roap running on the cleen +gump. they stoped by the reservor and run out the +hoze and let down the pipe and then found that they +had left the nozzle at the ingine house upon the +plains and they sent a feller up there on horseback +and all they cood do was to pump water into pales +whitch helped sum but not mutch. then the fellers +formed bucket lines and kep a pumping and pouring +and wondering where the Union No 1 and +Fountain No 3 were. + +it tirned out after the fire was over that the moon +was rising in Hamton Falls and that they saw the +lite and went down there as fast as they cood hiper +thinking there was a big fire and when they got way +up to Isiar Hanes house the moon was up so that +they cood see what it was and they was so tuckered +out runing a mile and a haff up hill that they +coodent do a single thing but set down and sware +and call each other dam fools. they was even two +tuckered out to fite and most always firemen is ready +to fite and so they must have been prety well used +up. + +well we fellers whitch was at the fire wirking our +heads off and triing to save old Bill Greanleef and +his wife and Ike and his wife and old Bill Morill +was getting prety tuckered with pumping and hollering +and throwing water on the flaims and throwing +firniture throug the winders and runing ladders +agenst peeples heads and saving hens by the hine +legs squorking and flaping feerful and wondering +where the Union No 2 and the Fountain No 3 was +and what had become of the feller whitch had went +for the nozzle and hadent come back when it begun +to pour rane and i never gnew it to rane faster and +in a few minits the fire was out. then we was +going to move the thing back but we found that +sum of the firemen had choped hoals in the roof of +the house. the fire hadent got to the house but they +thougt they wood have the hoals reddy for the Union +No 1 and Fountain No 3 and the feller whitch had +went for the nozzle and hadent got back when they +got there. so the house was full of water and sum +of the plastering had fell down on the heads of +the fellers whitch were throwing things throug the +winders and covered them with plaster. + +well after the fire was over we went home. father +says they is going to have the best detecktives in +Boston to find out who the Terible 3 is. evrybuddy +says they done it to get even with Ike. father says +they is jest as sure to go stait prizon as he is to get +his breckfast tomorow. i went to bed but dident +sleap a wink i coodent eet eny breckfast this morning. +mother says i must be sick. gosh it is wirse +than being sick. + +this morning the Terible 3 had a meating. we desided +to give up the asociasion and to burn the records. +it is a auful thing to have stait prizon stairing +you in the face when you havent done nothing. +we havent done nothing rong but if they find out +who the Terible 3 is we will have to go to stait +prizon. sumbuddy set fire to Ikes house sure. they +wasent eny stove in the barn. if it had started in +the house it mite have cougt from the chimny. + +November 6, 186--- things is getting wirse evry +day. i have lost the record of the Terible 3. Pewt +sed he give it to me all rite but when i went to my +desk it was gone. i know it was there 2 days ago. +i hunted evrywhere for it. i asted mother and +aunt Sarah and all of them if enyone had been in +my desk and they all sed no. mother asted me what +i had lost and i told her i had lost a story i had rote +and she sed well you can remember it cant you and +i sed yes but i dont want to wright it again. i have +hunted evrywhere and so has Beany and Pewt. if +enyone has found it our goos is cooked and we go +to stait prizen. i have looked forward moar than +oncet to going to the reform school or to jale but +i never gnew what it was to xpect to go to stait +prizon for sumthing you never have did. i cant +eet and cant sleap. it is wirse than being ded. a +grate deel wirse. + +November 7, 186---the insurance men come and +xamined the fire and took measurements. they desided +it wasent Ikes falt or Bills falt and so they +pade them. father sed Ike and Bill maid moar +money than they had for six months. but he sed +that the insurance companies was going to find out +who done it and it looked to him that the Terible 3 +would be looking throug bars before long. i cant +hardly breeth when i think of it. i saw Beany and +Pewt today and they are so scart that they cant +eet or sleap just like me. of coarse we have got +to laff and holler at fellers and play football but +we only laff to concele a braking hart. i wood give +a milion dollers to know what has become of them +records. if i had birnt them we wood have had +sum chanct. and if we had the sence to put sum +other fellers naims in it peraps we mite escaip but +i dont see enny hope. + +November 8, 186---brite and fair. i wish i felt +as good as the wether. it seams as if evrybody +was looking at me and saying he done it. he is 1 +of the Terible 3. evrytime i see a strainge man i +think he is a detecktive and evrytime i see old Swane +or old Mizzery or old Filander or old Brown i wunder +if they is going to grab me and put the handcufs +on my rists and drag me to the lockup. mother +says she is going to see docter Perry about me +but i laff and say i am all rite. peraps she wood tirn +from me with lothing like Dolly Bidwell done in +East Linn when she plaid it in the town hall last +winter, if she gnew. jest think less than a year ago +i was going to shows and having a good time and +now i am wateing to be sent to stait prizen. i have +often wundered how fellers felt whitch have to go +to stait prizen but now i know. + +November 9, 186---sunday again. it mite as well +be sunday as eny other day. perhaps they woodent +arest a feller on sunday. Beany had the docter today. +i asted Lucy Watson what was the matter +with him and she sed Docter Perry sed he was in +a low nervus stait. she sed Docter Perry sed if +Beany had eny mind he shood say sumthing was +praying on it. the minister preeched on the wicked +whitch fleas when no man persuith. that wood be +all rite but detecktives is pursuing us. i wish he +hadent sed enything about it. i wish i cood be let +alone in chirch. + +November 10, 186---Pewt had the docter today. +he had docter Swet. docter Swet thinks Pewt is +thretened with brane feever. father says that cant +be. he sed he shood as soon xpect me to have brane +feever as Pewt. i think peraps we will all feal +better when it is over. what i am afrade of is that +Pewt and Beany may go crasy and say i done it +all. what if they shood. i wood give a milion dollers +if i gnew where them records have went to. + +November 11, 186---Beany aint eny better. i went +over today to see him and see what cood be did and +he sed he dident want to see enybudy. i went up to +see Pewt and asted old man Purinton how he was +and he sed he was getting no better verry fast. i +wunder if he has heard enything. + +November 12, 186---Pewt aint enny better. Beany +aint et ennything but broth for 2 days. i still eet +to keep up my strenth. i am wurried about them. +if they get two week peraps they will comfes and +say i done it. i hoap they is man enuf to keep +their othes. i am going to keep mine. + +i forgot to say wether it was brite or fair or +rainy or enything fer a weak. i dont remember +and i dont cair a dam. there i have sed it. + +November 13, 186---father keeps looking at me +quear. i wunder if he suspecks ennything. if i +had only told him he was a onery member peraps +i cood tell him about things without braking my +othe. i bet he wood help us. we have got to have +sum help. it wont do to let Pewt and Beany dy +and leeve me to go to stait prizon alone. if 1 of +has got to go to stait prizon the hoal 3 of us has +got to go. Beany and Pewt aint going to sneek out +of it by dying. that woodent be fair. + +November 14, 186---i have gave up haop and +dont cair now. i am only wateing till a poliseman +grabs me. i got licked in school. it dident even +hirt me. it maid me think of sumthing elce but +stait prizon for a few minits. old Francis says i +am getting nummer evry day. he says if i dont +waik up he will have to waik me. + +what is the use enyway. last Sunday the minister +sed evrybudy cood get the gratest cumfort from +the bible whatever his truble was. he sed open the +bible and reed the first virse you see and it will +comfort you. so today i saw Celes bible open where +she had left it. she is reeding Isiar. i dident know +eny part of the bible was rote by Isiar. Isiar Hanes +was probably naimed after him, well i thougt i +wood do as the minster sed. so i shet up the bible +and then opened it and the ferst virse i saw was +this. + + by these 3 was the third part of men + killed, by the fire and by the smoak + +it was in chapter 9 virse 18 of Revellasions. you +cood have gnocked me down with a fether. i shet +up the book and set down. then i got out the +dicksionery and looked up Revellasions and it sed + + revellasions---the ack of disclosing to others + that whitch was ungnew to them. + +so what is the use. i wish i was ded. + +November 15, 186---the gratest thing has happened. +i feel as if i cood fli to the moon. jest +think i am in my room wateing for father to come +and lick me and i aint wurrid a bit. i have et haff +a mince pye and i never taisted enything so good +in my life befoar. i feel so good that i wood like +to holler. jest think i aint got to go to stait prizon +nor Beany nor Pewt. this morning Pewt and Beany +were faleing verry fast and the last i heard of them +they was setting up in their shirt tales eeting meet +and potatoes and pye and evrything. + +well tonite father went out and mother asted +him where he was going and he sed low so i woodent +hear him up to Brads. i heard him and i thougt +sumthing was up. so after he had went out i +folowed on and saw him go into the paint shop. +Pewts father and Beanys father and General Mastin +were there. so i crep up where there was a broaken +winder and lissened. father set down and took out +of his poket, what do you think, the records of +the Terible 3. i was so sirprized that i neerly hollered +but dident. then father sed well gentlemen +i have the infirnalist record of yuthfull depravity i +ever read in my life. and then he read it and evry +time he stoped to breeth old General Mastin wood +slap his gnee and holler god did you ever hear the +like of that, the little devils. and father wood holler +and laff and Pewts father and Beanys father wood +two. then father wood read sum moar and then +he sed i wish i had been a member and i almost sed +you was an onery member but i gnew enuf not to. + +bimeby he finished and sed there General did you +ever hear enything like that in your life and General +sed he never did. then father sed he suspecked +us from the ferst and peraps he was as mutch to +blaim as we was becaus he stirred up old Ike and +J. Albert but when the fire come he was wurrid as +the devil althoug he felt sure we hadent done it +he was afrade sum dam fool wood try to lay it +onto us. and the very day of the fire he found the +records where i had droped them. he told Pewts +father and Beanys father and they thougt it +woodent hirt us to wurry and they told the 2 docters +and the docters sed they was all rite and it woodent +hirt them. + +then father sed it was only fair that he and Pewts +father and Beanys father shood pay for eny damige +we had did. and Pewts father sed as long as i got +it up father had augt to pay. and father sed why +do you say that and Pewts father sed becaus he +always does get the other boys into truble and father +kind of smiled and handed the records to him +and sed whose writing is that. + +and Pewts father looked at it and sed hum haw +and that was all he cood say. Father dident know +that i rote them becaus i cood spel so mutch better +than Pewt and Pewt coppid them. + +then General Mastin sed Ike and Bill has maid +money by the fire and these little devils dident have +enything to do with that and that it cougt from hot +ashes enyway. now i am counsil for the boys and +i aint obliged to tell a thing about them or who they +are. a lawyer aint obliged to. i will put a peace in +the paper saying enyone whitch has sustaned eny +damige from the so called Terible 3 can by proving +there damige under othe to me will be pade. and +you may be sure that they aint a man living that +will be willing to sine the kind of a staitment i will +draw up for him, and General laffed and they all +did two. + +then father asted General what his bill was and +General sed hell the only thing he wished was that +he cood have been a member of the Terible 3 and +if father wood give him that record to keep to look +at when things was going rong to cheer him up he +wood call it square. so father give them to him. +then i started to creap away and i cougt my foot +and come down with a bang and in a moment father +come out on the cleen gump and grabed me. then +he sed well sir what have you been doing lissening +and i sed yes sir and he sed you start yourself for +home and after Clarence and Elbrige, they is Pewt +and Beany you know, have had there supper i will +come hoam and atend to your case. so i come home +and i am wateing for him to come and lick me and +i dont cair. enybody whitch cant stand a licking +when he knows he has escaiped stait prizon aint +mutch of a feller. gosh aint it good to feel good. + +November 16, 186---brite and fair. father dident +lick me. it is fun to be alive. + +November 17, 186---Beany and Pewt has got well +again and has come to school today. we have been +wundering if a onery member had eny rite to give +them records to enybudy. of coarse we dont cair +but we have been wundering. + +November 18, 186---brite and fair. + + THE END + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Brite and Fair, by Henry A. 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