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diff --git a/25866.txt b/25866.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..0b22b5a --- /dev/null +++ b/25866.txt @@ -0,0 +1,6632 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Search, by Grace Livingston Hill + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: The Search + + +Author: Grace Livingston Hill + + + +Release Date: June 21, 2008 [eBook #25866] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII) + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SEARCH*** + + +E-text prepared by Roger Frank and the Project Gutenberg Online +Distributed Proofreading Team (http://www.pgdp.net) + + + +Transcriber's note: + + Chapter numbering skips Chapter XI in the printed text. The + original numbering has been retained in this transcription. + + + + + +THE SEARCH + +by + +GRACE LIVINGSTON HILL + + + + + + + +Grosset & Dunlap +Publishers New York + +Made in the United States of America + +Copyright, 1919, By The Christian Herald +Copyright, 1919, By J. B. Lippincott Company + +Printed in the United States of America + + + + +THE SEARCH + + + + + + +THE SEARCH + +I + + +Two young men in officers' uniforms entered the smoker of a suburban +train, and after the usual formalities of matches and cigarettes settled +back to enjoy their ride out to Bryne Haven. + +"What d'ye think of that girl I introduced you to the other night, Harry? +Isn't she a pippin?" asked the second lieutenant taking a luxurious puff +at his cigarette. + +"I should say, Bobbie, she's some girl! Where d'ye pick her up? I +certainly owe you one for a good time." + +"Don't speak of it, Harry. Come on with me and try it again. I'm going to +see her friend to-night and can get her over the 'phone any time. She's +just nuts about you. What do you say? Shall I call her up?" + +"Well, hardly to-night, Bob," said the first lieutenant thoughtfully, +"she's a ripping fine girl and all that, of course, but the fact is, Bob, +I've decided to marry Ruth Macdonald and I haven't much time left before +I go over. I think I'll have to get things fixed up between us to-night, +you see. Perhaps--later----. But no. I guess that wouldn't do. Ruth's +folks are rather fussy about such things. It might get out. No, Bob, I'll +have to forego the pleasures you offer me this time." + +The second lieutenant sat up and whistled: + +"You've decided to marry Ruth Macdonald!" he ejaculated, staring. "But +has Ruth Macdonald decided to marry you?" + +"I hardly think there'll be any trouble on that score when I get ready to +propose," smiled the first lieutenant complacently, as he lolled back in +his seat. "You seem surprised," he added. + +"Well, rather!" said the other officer dryly, still staring. + +"What's there so surprising about that?" The first lieutenant was +enjoying the sensation he was creating. He knew that the second +lieutenant had always been "sweet" on Ruth Macdonald. + +"Well, you know, Harry, you're pretty rotten!" said the second lieutenant +uneasily, a flush beginning to rise in his face. "I didn't think you'd +have the nerve. She's a mighty fine girl, you know. She's--_unusual_!" + +"Exactly. Didn't you suppose I would want a fine girl when I marry?" + +"I don't believe you're really going to do it!" burst forth the second +lieutenant. "In fact, I don't believe I'll _let_ you do it if you try!" + +"You couldn't stop me, Bob!" with an amiable sneer. "One word from you, +young man, and I'd put your captain wise about where you were the last +time you overstayed your leave and got away with it. You know I've got a +pull with your captain. It never pays for the pot to call the kettle +black." + +The second lieutenant sat back sullenly with a deep red streaking his +cheeks. + +"You're no angel yourself, Bob, see?" went on the first lieutenant lying +back in his seat in satisfied triumph, "and I'm going to marry Ruth +Macdonald next week and get a ten days' leave! Put that in your pipe and +smoke it!" + +There ensued a long and pregnant silence. One glance at the second +lieutenant showed that he was most effectually silenced. + +The front door of the car slammed open and shut, and a tall slim officer +with touches of silver about the edges of his dark hair, and a look of +command in his keen eyes came crisply down the aisle. The two young +lieutenants sat up with a jerk, and an undertone of oaths, and prepared +to salute as he passed them. The captain gave them a quick searching +glance as he saluted and went on to the next car. + +The two jerked out salutes and settled back uneasily. + +"That man gives me a pain!" said Harry Wainwright preparing to soothe his +ruffled spirits by a fresh cigarette. + +"He thinks he's so doggone good himself that he has to pry into other +people's business and get them in wrong. It beats me how he ever got to +be a captain--a prim old fossil like him!" + +"It might puzzle some people to know how you got your commission, Harry. +You're no fossil, of course, but you're no angel, either, and there are +some things in your career that aren't exactly laid down in military +manuals." + +"Oh, my uncle Henry looked after my commission. It was a cinch! He thinks +the sun rises and sets in me, and he had no idea how he perjured himself +when he put me through. Why, I've got some of the biggest men in the +country for my backers, and wouldn't they lie awake at night if they knew! +Oh Boy! I thought I'd croak when I read some of those recommendations, +they fairly gushed with praise. You'd have died laughing, Bob, if you had +read them. They had such adjectives as 'estimable, moral, active, +efficient,' and one went so far as to say that I was equally distinguished +in college in scholarship and athletics! Some stretch of imagination, eh, +what?" + +The two laughed loudly over this. + +"And the best of it is," continued the first lieutenant, "the poor boob +believed it was all true!" + +"But your college records, Harry, how could they get around those? Or +didn't they look you up?" + +"Oh, mother fixed that all up. She sent the college a good fat check to +establish a new scholarship or something." + +"Lucky dog!" sighed his friend. "Now I'm just the other way. I never try +to put anything over but I get caught, and nobody ever tried to cover up +my tracks for me when I got gay!" + +"You worry too much, Bobby, and you never take a chance. Now _I_----" + +The front door of the car opened and shut with a slam, and a tall young +fellow with a finely cut face and wearing workman's clothes entered. He +gave one quick glance down the car as though he was searching for +someone, and came on down the aisle. The sight of him stopped the boast +on young Wainwright's tongue, and an angry flush grew, and rolled up from +the top of his immaculate olive-drab collar to his close, military +hair-cut. + +Slowly, deliberately, John Cameron walked down the aisle of the car +looking keenly from side to side, scanning each face alertly, until his +eyes lighted on the two young officers. At Bob Wetherill he merely +glanced knowingly, but he fixed his eyes on young Wainwright with a +steady, amused, contemptuous gaze as he came toward him; a gaze so +noticeable that it could not fail to arrest the attention of any who were +looking; and he finished the affront with a lingering turn of his head as +he passed by, and a slight accentuation of the amusement as he finally +lifted his gaze and passed on out of the rear door of the car. Those who +were sitting in the seats near the door might have heard the words: "And +they _killed_ such men as Lincoln!" muttered laughingly as the door +slammed shut behind him. + +Lieutenant Wainwright uttered a low oath of imprecation and flung his +half spent cigarette on the floor angrily: + +"Did you see that, Bob?" he complained furiously, "If I don't get that +fellow!" + +"I certainly did! Are you going to stand for that? What's eating him, +anyway? Has he got it in for you again? But _he_ isn't a very easy fellow +to get, you know. He has the reputation----" + +"Oh, I know! Yes, I guess anyhow _I know_!" + +"Oh, I see! Licked you, too, once, did he?" laughed Wetherill, "what had +you been up to?" + +"Oh, having some fun with his girl! At least I suppose she must have been +his girl the way he carried on about it. He said he didn't know her, but +of course that was all bluff. Then, too, I called his father a name he +didn't like and he lit into me again. Good night! I thought that was the +end of little Harry! I was sick for a week after he got through with me. +He certainly is some brute. Of course, I didn't realize what I was up +against at first or I'd have got the upper hand right away. I could have, +you know! I've been trained! But I didn't want to hurt the fellow and get +into the papers. You see, the circumstances were peculiar just then----" + +"I see! You'd just applied for Officer's Training Camp?" + +"Exactly, and you know you never can tell what rumor a person like that +can start. He's keen enough to see the advantage, of course, and follow +it up. Oh, he's got one coming to him all right!" + +"Yes, he's keen all right. That's the trouble. It's hard to get him." + +"Well, just wait. I've got him now. If I don't make him bite the dust! Ye +gods! When I think of the way he looks at me every time he sees me I +could skin him alive!" + +"I fancy he'd be rather slippery to skin. I wouldn't like to try it, +Harry!" + +"Well, but wait till you see where I've got him! He's in the draft. He +goes next week. And they're sending all those men to our camp! He'll be a +private, of course, and he'll have to _salute me_! Won't that gall him?" + +"He won't do it! I know him, and _he won't do it_!" + +"I'll take care that he does it all right! I'll put myself in his way and +_make_ him do it. And if he refuses I'll report him and get him in the +guard house. See? I can, you know. Then I guess he'll smile out of the +other side of his mouth!" + +"He won't likely be in your company." + +"That doesn't make any difference. I can get him into trouble if he +isn't, but I'll try to work it that he is if I can. I've got 'pull,' you +know, and I know how to 'work' my superiors!" he swaggered. + +"That isn't very good policy," advised the other, "I've heard of men +picking off officers they didn't like when it came to battle." + +"I'll take good care that he's in front of me on all such occasions!" + +A sudden nudge from his companion made him look up, and there looking +sharply down at him, was the returning captain, and behind him walked +John Cameron still with that amused smile on his face. It was plain that +they had both heard his boast. His face crimsoned and he jerked out a +tardy salute, as the two passed on leaving him muttering imprecations +under his breath. + +When the front door slammed behind the two Wainwright spoke in a low +shaken growl: + +"Now what in thunder is that Captain La Rue going on to Bryne Haven for? +I thought, of course, he got off at Spring Heights. That's where his +mother lives. I'll bet he is going up to see Ruth Macdonald! You know +they're related. If he is, that knocks my plans all into a cocked hat. +I'd have to sit at attention all the evening, and I couldn't propose with +that cad around!" + +"Better put it off then and come with me," soothed his friend. "Athalie +Britt will help you forget your troubles all right, and there's plenty of +time. You'll get another leave soon." + +"How the dickens did John Cameron come to be on speaking terms with +Captain La Rue, I'd like to know?" mused Wainwright, paying no heed to +his friend. + +"H'm! That does complicate matters for you some, doesn't it? Captain La +Rue is down at your camp, isn't he? Why, I suppose Cameron knew him up at +college, perhaps. Cap used to come up from the university every week last +winter to lecture at college." + +Wainwright muttered a chain of choice expletives known only to men of his +kind. + +"Forget it!" encouraged his friend slapping him vigorously on the +shoulder as the train drew into Bryne Haven. "Come off that grouch and +get busy! You're on leave, man! If you can't visit one woman there's +plenty more, and time enough to get married, too, before you go to +France. Marriage is only an incident, anyway. Why make such a fuss about +it?" + +By the fitful glare of the station lights they could see that Cameron was +walking with the captain just ahead of them in the attitude of familiar +converse. The sight did not put Wainwright into a better humor. + +At the great gate of the Macdonald estate Cameron and La Rue parted. They +could hear the last words of their conversation as La Rue swung into the +wide driveway and Cameron started on up the street: + +"I'll attend to it the first thing in the morning, Cameron, and I'm glad +you spoke to me about it! I don't see any reason why it shouldn't go +through! I shall be personally gratified if we can make the arrangement. +Good-night and good luck to you!" + +The two young officers halted at a discreet distance until John Cameron +had turned off to the right and walked away into the darkness. The +captain's quick step could be heard crunching along the gravel drive to +the Macdonald house. + +"Well, I guess that about settles me for the night, Bobbie!" sighed +Wainwright. "Come on, let's pass the time away somehow. I'll stop at the +drug store to 'phone and make a date with Ruth for to-morrow morning. +Wonder where I can get a car to take her out? No, I don't want to go in +her car because she always wants to run it herself. When you're proposing +to a woman you don't want her to be absorbed in running a car. See?" + +"I don't know. I haven't so much experience in that line as you have, +Harry, but I should think it might be inconvenient," laughed the other. + +They went back to the station. A few minutes later Wainwright emerged +from the telephone booth in the drug store with a lugubrious expression. + +"Doggone my luck! She's promised to go to church with that smug cousin of +hers, and she's busy all the rest of the day. But she's promised to give +me next Saturday if I can get off!" His face brightened with the thought. + +"I guess I can make it. If I can't do anything else I'll tell 'em I'm +going to be married, and then I can make her rush things through, +perhaps. Girls are game for that sort of thing just now; it's in the air, +these war marriages. By George, I'm not sure but that's the best way to +work it after all. She's the kind of a girl that would do almost anything +to help you out of a fix that way, and I'll just tell her I had to say +that to get off and that I'll be court-martialed if they find out it +wasn't so. How about it?" + +"I don't know, Harry. It's all right, of course, if you can get away with +it, but Ruth's a pretty bright girl and has a will of her own, you know. +But now, come on. It's getting late. What do you say if we get up a party +and run down to Atlantic City over Sunday, now that you're free? I know +those two girls would be tickled to death to go, especially Athalie. +She's a Westerner, you know, and has never seen the ocean." + +"All right, come on, only you must promise there won't be any scrapes +that will get me into the papers and blow back to Bryne Haven. You know +there's a lot of Bryne Haven people go to Atlantic City this time of year +and I'm not going to have any stories started. _I'm going to marry Ruth +Macdonald!_" + +"All right. Come on." + + + + +II + + +Ruth Macdonald drew up her little electric runabout sharply at the +crossing, as the station gates suddenly clanged down in her way, and sat +back with a look of annoyance on her face. + +Michael of the crossing was so overcareful sometimes that it became +trying. She was sure there was plenty of time to cross before the down +train. She glanced at her tiny wrist watch and frowned. Why, it was fully +five minutes before the train was due! What could Michael mean, standing +there with his flag so importantly and that determined look upon his +face? + +She glanced down the platform and was surprised to find a crowd. There +must be a special expected. What was it? A convention of some sort? Or a +picnic? It was late in the season for picnics, and not quite soon enough +for a college football game. Who were they, anyway? She looked them over +and was astonished to find people of every class, the workers, the +wealthy, the plain every-day men, women and children, all with a waiting +attitude and a strange seriousness upon them. As she looked closer she +saw tears on some faces and handkerchiefs everywhere in evidence. Had +some one died? Was this a funeral train they were awaiting? Strange she +had not heard! + +Then the band suddenly burst out upon her with the familiar wail: + + There's a long, long trail awinding, + Into the land of our dreams,-- + +and behind came the muffled tramping of feet not accustomed to marching +together. + +Ruth suddenly sat up very straight and began to watch, an unfamiliar awe +upon her. This must be the first draft men just going away! Of course! +Why had she not thought of it at once. She had read about their going and +heard people mention it the last week, but it had not entered much into +her thoughts. She had not realized that it would be a ceremony of public +interest like this. She had no friends whom it would touch. The young men +of her circle had all taken warning in plenty of time and found +themselves a commission somewhere, two of them having settled up matters +but a few days before. She had thought of these draft men, when she had +thought of them at all, only when she saw mention of them in the +newspapers, and then as a lot of workingmen or farmers' boys who were +reluctant to leave their homes and had to be forced into patriotism in +this way. It had not occurred to her that there were many honorable young +men who would take this way of putting themselves at the disposal of +their country in her time of need, without attempting to feather a nice +little nest for themselves. Now she watched them seriously and found to +her astonishment that she knew many of them. There were three college +fellows in the front ranks whom she had met. She had danced with them and +been taken out to supper by them, and had a calling acquaintance with +their sisters. The sister of one stood on the sidewalk now in the common +crowd, quite near to the runabout, and seemed to have forgotten that +anybody was by. Her face was drenched with tears and her lips were +quivering. Behind her was a gray-haired woman with a skewey blouse and a +faded dark blue serge skirt too long for the prevailing fashion. The +tears were trickling down her cheeks also; and an old man with a crutch, +and a little round-eyed girl, seemed to belong to the party. The old +man's lips were set and he was looking at the boys with his heart in his +eyes. + +Ruth shrank back not to intrude upon such open sorrow, and glanced at the +line again as they straggled down the road to the platform; fifty +serious, grave-eyed young men with determined mien and sorrow in the very +droop of their shoulders. One could see how they hated all this publicity +and display, this tense moment of farewell in the eyes of the town; and +yet how tender they felt toward those dear ones who had gathered thus to +do them honor as they went away to do their part in the great +world-struggle for liberty. + +As she looked closer the girl saw they were not mature men as at first +glance they had seemed, but most of them mere boys. There was the boy +that mowed the Macdonald lawn, and the yellow-haired grocery boy. There +was the gas man and the nice young plumber who fixed the leak in the +water pipes the other day, and the clerk from the post office, and the +cashier from the bank! What made them look so old at first sight? Why, it +was as if sorrow and responsibility had suddenly been put upon them like +a garment that morning for a uniform, and they walked in the shadow of +the great sadness that had come upon the world. She understood that +perhaps even up to the very day before, they had most of them been merry, +careless boys; but now they were men, made so in a night by the horrible +_sin_ that had brought about this thing called War. + +For the first time since the war began Ruth Macdonald had a vision of +what the war meant. She had been knitting, of course, with all the rest; +she had spent long mornings at the Red Cross rooms--she was on her way +there this very minute when Michael and the procession had interrupted +her course--she had made miles of surgical dressings and picked tons of +oakum. She had bade her men friends cheery good-byes when they went to +Officers' Training Camps, and with the other girls welcomed and admired +their uniforms when they came home on short furloughs, one by one winning +his stripes and commission. They were all men whom she had known in +society. They had wealth and position and found it easy to get into the +kind of thing that pleased them in the army or navy. The danger they were +facing seemed hardly a negligible quantity. It was the fashion to look on +it that way. Ruth had never thought about it before. She had even been +severe in her judgment of a few mothers who worried about their sons and +wanted to get them exempt in some way. But these stern loyal mothers who +stood in close ranks with heavy lines of sacrifice upon their faces, +tears on their cheeks, love and self-abnegation in their eyes, gave her a +new view of the world. These were the ones who would be in actual +poverty, some of them, without their boys, and whose lives would be empty +indeed when they went forth. Ruth Macdonald had never before realized the +suffering this war was causing individuals until she saw the faces of +those women with their sons and brothers and lovers; until she saw the +faces of the brave boys, for the moment all the rollicking lightness +gone, and only the pain of parting and the mists of the unknown future in +their eyes. + +It came to the girl with a sudden pang that she was left out of all this. +That really it made little difference to her whether America was in the +war or not. Her life would go on just the same--a pleasant monotony of +bustle and amusement. There would be the same round of social affairs and +regular engagements, spiced with the excitement of war work and +occasional visiting uniforms. There was no one going forth from their +home to fight whose going would put the light of life out for her and +cause her to feel sad, beyond the ordinary superficial sadness for the +absence of one's playmates. + +She liked them all, her friends, and shrank from having them in danger; +although it was splendid to have them doing something real at last. In +truth until this moment the danger had seemed so remote; the casualty +list of which people spoke with bated breath so much a thing of vast +unknown numbers, that it had scarcely come within her realization as yet. +But now she suddenly read the truth in the suffering eyes of these people +who were met to say good-bye, perhaps a last good-bye, to those who were +dearer than life to them. How would she, Ruth Macdonald, feel, if one of +those boys were her brother or lover? It was inconceivably dreadful. + +The band blared on, and the familiar words insisted themselves upon her +unwilling mind: + + There's a long, long night of waiting! + +A sob at her right made her start and then turn away quickly from the +sight of a mother's grief as she clung to a frail daughter for support, +sobbing with utter abandon, while the daughter kept begging her to "be +calm for Tom's sake." + +It was all horrible! Why had she gotten into this situation? Aunt Rhoda +would blame her for it. Aunt Rhoda would say it was too conspicuous, +right there in the front ranks! She put her hand on the starter and +glanced out, hoping to be able to back out and get away, but the road +behind was blocked several deep with cars, and the crowd had closed in +upon her and about her on every side. Retreat was impossible. However, +she noticed with relief that the matter of being conspicuous need not +trouble her. Nobody was looking her way. All eyes were turned in one +direction, toward that straggling, determined line that wound up from the +Borough Hall, past the Post Office and Bank to the station where the Home +Guards stood uniformed, in open silent ranks doing honor to the boys who +were going to fight for them. + +Ruth's eyes went reluctantly back to the marching line again. Somehow it +struck her that they would not have seemed so forlorn if they had worn +new trig uniforms, instead of rusty varied civilian clothes. They seemed +like an ill-prepared sacrifice passing in review. Then suddenly her gaze +was riveted upon a single figure, the last man in the procession, +marching alone, with uplifted head and a look of self-abnegation on his +strong young face. All at once something sharp seemed to slash through +her soul and hold her with a long quiver of pain and she sat looking +straight ahead staring with a kind of wild frenzy at John Cameron walking +alone at the end of the line. + +She remembered him in her youngest school days, the imp of the grammar +school, with a twinkle in his eye and an irrepressible grin on his handsome +face. Nothing had ever daunted him and no punishment had ever stopped his +mischief. He never studied his lessons, yet he always seemed to know enough +to carry him through, and would sometimes burst out with astonishing +knowledge where others failed. But there was always that joke on his lips +and that wide delightful grin that made him the worshipped-afar of all the +little girls. He had dropped a rose on her desk once as he lounged late and +laughing to his seat after recess, apparently unaware that his teacher was +calling him to order. She could feel the thrill of her little childish +heart now as she realized that he had given the rose to her. The next term +she was sent to a private school and saw no more of him save an occasional +glimpse in passing him on the street, but she never had forgotten him; and +now and then she had heard little scraps of news about him. He was working +his way through college. He was on the football team and the baseball team. +She knew vaguely that his father had died and their money was gone, but +beyond that she had no knowledge of him. They had drifted apart. He was not +of her world, and gossip about him seldom came her way. He had long ago +ceased to look at her when they happened to pass on the street. He +doubtless had forgotten her, or thought she had forgotten him. Or, it might +even be that he did not wish to presume upon an acquaintance begun when she +was too young to have a choice of whom should be her friends. But the +memory of that rose had never quite faded from her heart even though she +had been but seven, and always she had looked after him when she chanced to +see him on the street with a kind of admiration and wonder. Now suddenly +she saw him in another light. The laugh was gone from his lips and the +twinkle from his eyes. He looked as he had looked the day he fought Chuck +Woodcock for tying a string across the sidewalk and tripping up the little +girls on the way to school. It came to her like a revelation that he was +going forth now in just such a way to fight the world-foe. In a way he was +going to fight for her. To make the world a safe place for girls such as +she! All the terrible stories of Belgium flashed across her mind, and she +was lifted on a great wave of gratitude to this boy friend of her babyhood +for going out to defend her! + +All the rest of the straggling line of draft men were going out for the +same purpose perhaps, but it did not occur to her that they were anything +to her until she saw John Cameron. All those friends of her own world who +were training for officers, they, too, were going to fight in the same +way to defend the world, but she had not thought of it in that way +before. It took a sight of John Cameron's high bearing and serious face +to bring the knowledge to her mind. + +She thought no longer of trying to get away. She seemed held to the spot +by a new insight into life. She could not take her eyes from the face of +the young man. She forgot that she was staying, forgot that she was +staring. She could no more control the swelling thoughts of horror that +surged over her and took possession of her than she could have controlled +a mob if it had suddenly swept down upon her. + +The gates presently lifted silently to let the little procession pass +over to her side of the tracks, and within a few short minutes the +special train that was to bear the men away to camp came rattling up, +laden with other victims of the chance that sent some men on ahead to be +pioneers in the camps. + +These were a noisy jolly bunch. Perhaps, having had their own sad +partings they were only trying to brace themselves against the scenes of +other partings through which they must pass all the way along the line. +They must be reminded of their own mothers and sisters and sweethearts. +Something of this Ruth Macdonald seemed to define to herself as, startled +and annoyed by the clamor of the strangers in the midst of the sacredness +of the moment, she turned to look at the crowding heads in the car +windows and caught the eye of an irrepressible youth: + +"Think of me over there!" he shouted, waving a flippant hand and +twinkling his eyes at the beautiful girl in her car. + +Another time Ruth would have resented such familiarity, but now something +touched her spirit with an inexpressible pity, and she let a tiny ripple +of a smile pass over her lovely face as her eyes traveled on down the +platform in search of the tall form of John Cameron. In the moment of the +oncoming train she had somehow lost sight of him. Ah! There he was +stooping over a little white haired woman, taking her tenderly in his +arms to kiss her. The girl's eyes lingered on him. His whole attitude was +such a revelation of the man the rollicking boy had become. It seemed to +pleasantly round out her thought of him. + +The whistle sounded, the drafted men gave one last wringing hand-clasp, +one last look, and sprang on board. + +John Cameron was the last to board the train. He stood on the lower step +of the last car as it began to move slowly. His hat was lifted, and he +stood with slightly lifted chin and eyes that looked as if they had +sounded the depths of all sadness and surrendered himself to whatever had +been decreed. There was settled sorrow in all the lines of his fine face. +Ruth was startled by the change in it; by the look of the boy in the man. +Had the war done that for him just in one short summer? Had it done that +for the thousands who were going to fight for her? And she was sitting in +her luxurious car with a bundle of wool at her feet, and presuming to +bear her part by mere knitting! Poor little useless woman that she was! A +thing to send a man forth from everything he counted dear or wanted to +do, into suffering and hardship--and _death_--perhaps! She shuddered as +she watched his face with its strong uplifted look, and its unutterable +sorrow. She had not thought he could look like that! Oh, he would be gay +to-morrow, like the rest, of course, with his merry jest and his +contagious grin, and making light of the serious business of war! He +would not be the boy he used to be without the ability to do that. But +she would never forget how he had looked in this farewell minute while he +was gazing his last on the life of his boyhood and being borne away into +a dubious future. She felt a hopelessly yearning, as if, had there been +time, she would have liked to have told him how much she appreciated his +doing this great deed for her and for all her sisters! + +Has it ever been fully explained why the eyes of one person looking hard +across a crowd will draw the eyes of another? + +The train had slipped along ten feet or more and was gaining speed when +John Cameron's eyes met those of Ruth Macdonald, and her vivid speaking +face flashed its message to his soul. A pleased wonder sprang into his +eyes, a question as his glance lingered, held by the tumult in her face, +and the unmistakable personality of her glance. Then his face lit up with +its old smile, graver, oh, much! and more deferential than it used to be, +with a certain courtliness in it that spoke of maturity of spirit. He +lifted his hat a little higher and waved it just a trifle in recognition +of her greeting, wondering in sudden confusion if he were really not +mistaken after all and had perhaps been appropriating a farewell that +belonged to someone else; then amazed and pleased at the flutter of her +handkerchief in reply. + +The train was moving rapidly now in the midst of a deep throaty cheer +that sounded more like a sob, and still he stood on that bottom step with +his hat lifted and let his eyes linger on the slender girlish figure in +the car, with the morning sun glinting across her red-gold hair, and the +beautiful soft rose color in her cheeks. + +As the train swept past the little shelter shed he bethought himself and +turned a farewell tender smile on the white-haired woman who stood +watching him through a mist of tears. Then his eyes went back for one +last glimpse of the girl; and so he flashed out of sight around the +curve. + + + + +III + + +It had taken only a short time after all. The crowd drowned its cheer in +one deep gasp of silence and broke up tearfully into little groups +beginning to melt away at the sound of Michael ringing up the gates, and +telling the cars and wagons to hurry that it was almost time for the +up-train. + +Ruth Macdonald started her car and tried to bring her senses back to +their normal calm wondering what had happened to her and why there was +such an inexpressible mingling of loss and pleasure in her heart. + +The way at first was intricate with congestion of traffic and Ruth was +obliged to go slowly. As the road cleared before her she was about to +glide forward and make up for lost time. Suddenly a bewildered little +woman with white hair darted in front of the car, hesitated, drew back, +came on again. Ruth stopped the car shortly, much shaken with the swift +vision of catastrophe, and the sudden recognition of the woman. It was +the same one who had been with John Cameron. + +"Oh, I'm so sorry I startled you!" she called pleasantly, leaning out of +the car. "Won't you get in, please, and let me take you home?" + +The woman looked up and there were great tears in her eyes. It was plain +why she had not seen where she was going. + +"Thank you, no, I couldn't!" she said with a choke in her voice and +another blur of tears, "I--you see--I want to get away--I've been seeing +off my boy!" + +"I know!" said Ruth with quick sympathy, "I saw. And you want to get home +quickly and cry. I feel that way myself. But you see I didn't have +anybody there and I'd like to do a little something just to be in it. +Won't you please get in? You'll get home sooner if I take you; and see! +We're blocking the way!" + +The woman cast a frightened glance about and assented: + +"Of course. I didn't realize!" she said climbing awkwardly in and sitting +bolt upright as uncomfortable as could be in the luxurious car beside the +girl. It was all too plain she did not wish to be there. + +Ruth manoeuvred her car quickly out of the crowd and into a side street, +gliding from there to the avenue. She did not speak until they had left +the melting crowd well behind them. Then she turned timidly to the woman: + +"You--are--his--_mother_?" + +She spoke the words hesitatingly as if she feared to touch a wound. The +woman's eyes suddenly filled again and a curious little quiver came on +the strong chin. + +"Yes," she tried to say and smothered the word in her handkerchief +pressed quickly to her lips in an effort to control them. + +Ruth laid a cool little touch on the woman's other hand that lay in her +lap: + +"Please forgive me!" she said, "I wasn't sure. I know it must be +awful,--cruel--for you!" + +"He--is all I have left!" the woman breathed with a quick controlled +gasp, "but, of course--it was--right that he should go!" + +She set her lips more firmly and blinked off at the blur of pretty homes +on her right without seeing any of them. + +"He would have gone sooner, only he thought he ought not to leave me till +he had to," she said with another proud little quiver in her voice, as if +having once spoken she must go on and say more, "I kept telling him I +would get on all right--but he always was so careful of me--ever since +his father died!" + +"Of course!" said Ruth tenderly turning her face away to struggle with a +strange smarting sensation in her own eyes and throat. Then in a low +voice she added: + +"I knew him, you know. I used to go to the same school with him when I +was a little bit of a girl." + +The woman looked up with a quick searching glance and brushed the tears +away firmly. + +"Why, aren't you Ruth Macdonald? _Miss_ Macdonald, I mean--excuse me! You +live in the big house on the hill, don't you?" + +"Yes, I'm Ruth Macdonald. Please don't call me Miss. I'm only nineteen +and I still answer to my little girl name," Ruth answered with a charming +smile. + +The woman's gaze softened. + +"I didn't know John knew you," she said speculatively. "He never +mentioned----" + +"Of course not!" said the girl anticipating, "he wouldn't. It was a long +time ago when I was seven and I doubt if he remembers me any more. They +took me out of the public school the next year and sent me to St. Mary's +for which I've never quite forgiven them, for I'm sure I should have got +on much faster at the public school and I loved it. But I've not +forgotten the good times I had there, and John was always good to the +little girls. We all liked him. I haven't seen him much lately, but I +should think he would have grown to be just what you say he is. He looks +that way." + +Again the woman's eyes searched her face, as if she questioned the +sincerity of her words; then apparently satisfied she turned away with a +sigh: + +"I'd have liked him to know a girl like you," she said wistfully. + +"Thank you!" said Ruth brightly, "that sounds like a real compliment. +Perhaps we shall know each other yet some day if fortune favors us. I'm +quite sure he's worth knowing." + +"Oh, he is!" said the little mother, her tears brimming over again and +flowing down her dismayed cheeks, "he's quite worth the best society +there is, but I haven't been able to manage a lot of things for him. It +hasn't been always easy to get along since his father died. Something +happened to our money. But anyway, he got through college!" with a flash +of triumph in her eyes. + +"Wasn't that fine!" said Ruth with sparkling eyes, "I'm sure he's worth a +lot more than some of the fellows who have always had every whim +gratified. Now, which street? You'll have to tell me. I'm ashamed to say +I don't know this part of town very well. Isn't it pretty down here? This +house? What a wonderful clematis! I never saw such a wealth of bloom." + +"Yes, John planted that and fussed over it," said his mother with pride +as she slipped unaccustomedly out of the car to the sidewalk. "I'm very +glad to have met you and it was most kind of you to bring me home. To +tell the truth"--with a roguish smile that reminded Ruth of her son's +grin--"I was so weak and trembling with saying good-bye and trying to +keep up so John wouldn't know it, that I didn't know how I was to get +home. Though I'm afraid I was a bit discourteous. I couldn't bear the +thought of talking to a stranger just then. But you haven't been like a +stranger--knowing him, and all----" + +"Oh, thank you!" said Ruth, "it's been so pleasant. Do you know, I don't +believe I ever realized what an awful thing the war is till I saw those +people down at the station this morning saying good-bye. I never realized +either what a useless thing I am. I haven't even anybody very dear to +send. I can only knit." + +"Well, that's a good deal. Some of us haven't time to do that. I never +have a minute." + +"You don't need to, you've given your son," said Ruth flashing a glance +of glorified understanding at the woman. + +A beautiful smile came out on the tired sorrowful face. + +"Yes, I've given him," she said, "but I'm hoping God will give him back +again some day. Do you think that's too much to hope. He is such a good +boy!" + +"Of course not," said Ruth sharply with a sudden sting of apprehension in +her soul. And then she remembered that she had no very intimate +acquaintance with God. She wished she might be on speaking terms, at +least, and she would go and present a plea for this lonely woman. If it +were only Captain La Rue, her favorite cousin, or even the President, she +might consider it. But God! She shuddered. Didn't God let this awful war +be? Why did He do it? She had never thought much about God before. + +"I wish you would let me come to see you sometime and take you for +another ride," she said sweetly. + +"It would be beautiful!" said the older woman, "if you would care to take +the time from your own friends." + +"I would love to have you for one of my friends," said the girl +gracefully. + +The woman smiled wistfully. + +"I'm only here holidays and evenings," she conceded, "I'm doing some +government work now." + +"I shall come," said Ruth brightly. "I've enjoyed you ever so much." Then +she started her car and whirled away into the sunshine. + +"She won't come, of course," said the woman to herself as she stood +looking mournfully after the car, reluctant to go into the empty house. +"I wish she would! Isn't she just like a flower! How wonderful it would +be if things had been different, and there hadn't been any war, and my +boy could have had her for a friend! Oh!" + + * * * * * + +Down at the Club House the women waited for the fair young member who had +charge of the wool. They rallied her joyously as she hurried in, suddenly +aware that she had kept them all waiting. + +"I saw her in the crowd at the station this morning," called out Mrs. +Pryor, a large placid tease with a twinkle in her eye. "She was picking +out the handsomest man for the next sweater she knits. Which one did you +choose, Miss Ruth? Tell us. Are you going to write him a letter and stick +it in the toe of his sock?" + +The annoyed color swept into Ruth's face, but she paid no other heed as +she went about her morning duties, preparing the wool to give out. A +thought had stolen into her heart that made a tumult there and would not +bear turning over even in her mind in the presence of all these curious +people. She put it resolutely by as she taught newcomers how to turn the +heel of a sock, but now and then it crept back again and was the cause of +her dropping an occasional stitch. + +Dottie Wetherill came to find out what was the matter with her sock, and +to giggle and gurgle about her brother Bob and his friends. Bob, it +appeared, was going to bring five officers home with him next week end +and they were to have a dance Saturday night. Of course Ruth must come. +Bob was soon to get his _first_ lieutenant's commission. There had been a +mistake, of course, or he would have had it before this, some favoritism +shown; but now Bob had what they called a "pull," and things were going +to be all right for him. Bob said you couldn't get anywhere without a +"pull." And didn't Ruth think Bob looked perfectly fine in his uniform? + +It annoyed Ruth to hear such talk and she tried to make it plain to +Dottie that she was mistaken about "pull." There was no such thing. It +was all imagination. She knew, for her cousin, Captain La Rue, was very +close to the Government and he had told her so. He said that real worth +was always recognized, and that it didn't make any difference where it +was found or who your friends were. It mattered _what you were_. + +She fixed Dottie's sock and moved on to the wool table to get ready an +allotment for some of the ladies to take home. + +Mrs. Wainwright bustled in, large and florid and well groomed, with a +bunch of photographer's proofs of her son Harry in his uniform. She +called loudly for Ruth to come and inspect them. There were some twenty +or more poses, each one seemingly fatter, more pompous and conceited +looking than the last. She stated in boisterous good humor that Harry +particularly wanted Ruth's opinion before he gave the order. At that Mrs. +Pryor bent her head to her neighbor and nodded meaningly, as if a certain +matter of discussion were settled now beyond all question. Ruth caught +the look and its meaning and the color flooded her face once more, much +to her annoyance. She wondered angrily if she would never be able to stop +that childish habit of blushing, and why it annoyed her so very much this +morning to have her name coupled with that of Harry Wainwright. He was +her old friend and playmate, having lived next door to her all her life, +and it was but natural when everybody was sweethearting and getting +married, that people should speak of her and wonder whether there might +be anything more to their relationship than mere friendship. Still it +annoyed her. Continually as she turned the pages from one fat smug +Wainwright countenance to another, she saw in a mist the face of another +man, with uplifted head and sorrowful eyes. She wondered if when the time +came for Harry Wainwright to go he would have aught of the vision, and +aught of the holiness of sorrow that had shown in that other face. + +She handed the proofs back to the mother, so like her son in her ample +blandness, and wondered if Mrs. Cameron would have a picture of her son +in his uniform, fine and large and lifelike as these were. + +She interrupted her thoughts to hear Mrs. Wainwright's clarion voice +lifted in parting from the door of the Club House on her way back to her +car: + +"Well, good-bye, Ruth dear. Don't hesitate to let me know if you'd like +to have either of the other two large ones for your own 'specials,' you +know. I shan't mind changing the order a bit. Harry said you were to have +as many as you wanted. I'll hold the proofs for a day or two and let you +think it over." + +Ruth lifted her eyes to see the gaze of every woman in the room upon her, +and for a moment she felt as if she almost hated poor fat doting Mamma +Wainwright. Then the humorous side of the moment came to help her and her +face blossomed into a smile as she jauntily replied: + +"Oh, no, please don't bother, Mrs. Wainwright. I'm not going to paper the +wall with them. I have other friends, you know. I think your choice was +the best of them all." + +Then as gaily as if she were not raging within her soul she turned to +help poor Dottie Wetherill who was hopelessly muddled about turning her +heel. + +Dottie chattered on above the turmoil of her soul, and her words were as +tiny April showers sizzling on a red hot cannon. By and by she picked up +Dottie's dropped stitches. After all, what did such things matter when +there was _war_ and men were giving their _lives_! + +"And Bob says he doubts if they ever get to France. He says he thinks the +war will be over before half the men get trained. He says, for his part, +he'd like the trip over after the submarines have been put out of +business. It would be something to tell about, don't you know? But Bob +thinks the war will be over soon. Don't you think so, Ruth?" + +"I don't know what I think," said Ruth exasperated at the little +prattler. It seemed so awful for a girl with brains--or hadn't she +brains?--to chatter on interminably in that inane fashion about a matter +of such awful portent. And yet perhaps the child was only trying to cover +up her fears, for she all too evidently worshipped her brother. + +Ruth was glad when at last the morning was over and one by one the women +gathered their belongings together and went home. She stayed longer than +the rest to put the work in order. When they were all gone she drove +around by the way of the post office and asked the old post master who +had been there for twenty years and knew everybody, if he could tell her +the address of the boys who had gone to camp that morning. He wrote it +down and she tucked it in her blouse saying she thought the Red Cross +would be sending them something soon. Then she drove thoughtfully away to +her beautiful sheltered home, where the thought of war hardly dared to +enter yet in any but a playful form. But somehow everything was changed +within the heart of Ruth Macdonald and she looked about on all the +familiar places with new eyes. What right had she to be living here in +all this luxury while over there men were dying every day that she might +live? + + + + +IV + + +The sun shone blindly over the broad dusty drill-field. The men marched +and wheeled, about-faced and counter-marched in their new olive-drab +uniforms and thought of home--those that had any homes to think about. +Some who did not thought of a home that might have been if this war had +not happened. + +There were times when their souls could rise to the great occasion and +their enthusiasm against the foe could carry them to all lengths of +joyful sacrifice, but this was not one of the times. It was a breathless +Indian summer morning, and the dust was inches thick. It rose like a soft +yellow mist over the mushroom city of forty thousand men, brought into +being at the command of a Nation's leader. Dust lay like a fine yellow +powder over everything. An approaching company looked like a cloud as it +drew near. One could scarcely see the men near by for the cloud of yellow +dust everywhere. + +The water was bad this morning when every man was thirsty. It had been +boiled for safety and was served warm and tasted of disinfectants. The +breakfast had been oatmeal and salty bacon swimming in congealed grease. +The "boy" in the soldier's body was very low indeed that morning. The +"man" with his disillusioned eyes had come to the front. Of course this +was nothing like the hardships they would have to endure later, but it +was enough for the present to their unaccustomed minds, and harder +because they were doing nothing that seemed worth while--just marching +about and doing sordid duties when they were all eager for the fray and +to have it over with. They had begun to see that they were going to have +to learn to wait and be patient, to obey blindly; they--who never had +brooked commands from any one, most of them, not even from their own +parents. They had been free as air, and they had never been tied down to +certain company. Here they were all mixed up, college men and foreign +laborers, rich and poor, cultured and coarse, clean and defiled, and it +went pretty hard with them all. They had come, a bundle of prejudices and +wills, and they had first to learn that every prejudice they had been +born with or cultivated, must be given up or laid aside. They were not +their own. They belonged to a great machine. The great perfect conception +of the army as a whole had not yet dawned upon them. They were occupied +with unpleasant details in the first experimental stages. At first the +discomforts seemed to rise and obliterate even the great object for which +they had come, and discontent sat upon their faces. + +Off beyond the drill-field whichever way they looked, there were barracks +the color of the dust, and long stark roads, new and rough, the color of +the barracks, with jitneys and trucks and men like ants crawling +furiously back and forth upon them all animated by the same great +necessity that had brought the men here. Even the sky seemed yellow like +the dust. The trees were gone except at the edges of the camp, cut down +to make way for more barracks, in even ranks like men. + +Out beyond the barracks mimic trenches were being dug, and puppets hung +in long lines for mock enemies. There were skeleton bridges to cross, +walls to scale, embankments to jump over, and all, everything, was that +awful olive-drab color till the souls of the new-made soldiers cried out +within them for a touch of scarlet or green or blue to relieve the dreary +monotony. Sweat and dust and grime, weariness, homesickness, humbled +pride, these were the tales of the first days of those men gathered from +all quarters who were pioneers in the first camps. + +Corporal Cameron marched his awkward squad back and forth, through all +the various manoeuvres, again and again, giving his orders in short, +sharp tones, his face set, his heart tortured with the thought of the +long months and years of this that might be before him. The world seemed +most unfriendly to him these days. Not that it had ever been over kind, +yet always before his native wit and happy temperament had been able to +buoy him up and carry him through hopefully. Now, however, hope seemed +gone. This war might last till he was too old to carry out any of his +dreams and pull himself out of the place where fortune had dropped him. +Gradually one thought had been shaping itself clearly out of the days he +had spent in camp. This life on earth was not all of existence. There +must be something bigger beyond. It wasn't sane and sensible to think +that any God would allow such waste of humanity as to let some suffer all +the way through with nothing beyond to compensate. There was a meaning to +the suffering. There must be. It must be a preparation for something +beyond, infinitely better and more worth while. What was it and how +should he learn the meaning of his own particular bit? + +John Cameron had never thought about religion before in his life. He had +believed in a general way in a God, or thought he believed, and that a +book called the Bible told about Him and was the authentic place to learn +how to be good. The doubts of the age had not touched him because he had +never had any interest in them. In the ordinary course of events he might +never have thought about them in relation to himself until he came to +die--perhaps not then. In college he had been too much engrossed with +other things to listen to the arguments, or to be influenced by the +general atmosphere of unbelief. He had been a boy whose inner thoughts +were kept under lock and key, and who had lived his heart life absolutely +alone, although his rich wit and bubbling merriment had made him a +general favorite where pure fun among the fellows was going. He loved to +"rough house" as he called it, and his boyish pranks had always been the +talk of the town, the envied of the little boys; but no one knew his +real, serious thoughts. Not even his mother, strong and self-repressed +like himself, had known how to get down beneath the surface and commune +with him. Perhaps she was afraid or shy. + +Now that he was really alone among all this mob of men of all sorts and +conditions, he had retired more and more into the inner sanctuary of self +and tried to think out the meaning of life. From the chaos that reigned +in his mind he presently selected a few things that he called "facts" +from which to work. These were "God, Hereafter, Death." These things he +must reckon with. He had been working on a wrong hypothesis all his life. +He had been trying to live for this world as if it were the end and aim +of existence, and now this war had come and this world had suddenly +melted into chaos. It appeared that he and thousands of others must +probably give up their part in this world before they had hardly tried +it, if they would set things right again for those that should come +after. But, even if he had lived out his ordinary years in peace and +success, and had all that life could give him, it would not have lasted +long, seventy years or so, and what were they after they were past? No, +there was something beyond or it all wouldn't have been made--this +universe with the carefully thought out details working harmoniously one +with another. It wouldn't have been worth while otherwise. There would +have been no reason for a heart life. + +There were boys and men in the army who thought otherwise. Who had +accepted this life as being all. Among these were the ones who when they +found they were taken in the draft and must go to camp, had spent their +last three weeks of freedom drunk because they wanted to get all the +"fun" they could out of life that was left to them. They were the men who +were plunging into all the sin they could find before they went away to +fight because they felt they had but a little time to live and what did +it matter? But John Cameron was not one of these. His soul would not let +him alone until he had thought it all out, and he had come thus far with +these three facts, "God, Death, A Life Hereafter." He turned these over +in his mind for days and then he changed their order, "_Death, A Life +Hereafter, God_." + +Death was the grim person he was going forth to meet one of these days or +months on the field of France or Italy, or somewhere "over there." He was +not to wait for Death to come and get him as had been the old order. This +was WAR and he was going out to challenge Death. He was convinced that +whether Death was a servant of God or the Devil, in some way it would +make a difference with his own personal life hereafter, how he met Death. +He was not satisfied with just meeting Death bravely, with the ardor of +patriotism in his breast, as he heard so many about him talk in these +days. That was well so far as it went, but it did not solve the mystery +of the future life nor make him sure how he would stand in that other +world to which Death stood ready to escort him presently. Death might be +victor over his body, but he wanted to be sure that Death should not also +kill that something within him which he felt must live forever. He turned +it over for days and came to the conclusion that the only one who could +help him was God. God was the beginning of it all. If there was a God He +must be available to help a soul in a time like this. There must be a way +to find God and get the secret of life, and so be ready to meet Death +that Death should not conquer anything but the body. How could one find +God? Had anybody ever found Him? Did anyone really _think_ they had found +Him? These were questions that beat in upon his soul day after day as he +drilled his men and went through the long hard hours of discipline, or +lay upon his straw tick at night while a hundred and fifty other men +about him slept. + +His mother's secret attempts at religion had been too feeble and too +hidden in her own breast to have made much of an impression upon him. She +had only _hoped_ her faith was founded upon a rock. She had not _known_. +And so her buffeted soul had never given evidence to her son of hidden +holy refuge where he might flee with her in time of need. + +Now and then the vision of a girl blurred across his thoughts +uncertainly, like a bright moth hovering in the distance whose shadow +fell across his dusty path. But it was far away and vague, and only a +glance in her eyes belonged to him. She was not of his world. + +He looked up to the yellow sky through the yellow dust, and his soul +cried out to find the way to God before he had to meet Death, but the +heavens seemed like molten brass. Not that he was afraid of death with a +physical fear, but that his soul recoiled from being conquered by it and +he felt convinced that there was a way to meet it with a smile of +assurance if only he could find it out. He had read that people had met +it that way. Was it all their imagination? The mere illusion of a +fanatical brain? Well, he would try to find out God. He would put himself +in the places where God ought to be, and when he saw any indication that +God was there he would cry out until he made God hear him! + +The day he came to that conclusion was Sunday and he went over to the +Y.M.C.A. Auditorium. They were having a Mary Pickford moving picture show +there. If he had happened to go at any time during the morning he might +have heard some fine sermons and perhaps have found the right man to help +him, but this was evening and the men were being amused. + +He stood for a few moments and watched the pretty show. The sunlight on +Mary's beautiful hair, as it fell glimmering through the trees in the +picture reminded him of the red-gold lights on Ruth Macdonald's hair the +morning he left home, and with a sigh he turned away and walked to the +edge of camp where the woods were still standing. + +Alone he looked up to the starry sky. Amusement was not what he wanted +now. He was in search of something vague and great that would satisfy, +and give him a reason for being and suffering and dying perhaps. He +called it God because he had no other name for it. Red-gold hair might be +for others but not for him. He might not take it where he would and he +would not take it where it lay easy to get. If he had been in the same +class with some other fellows he knew he would have wasted no time on +follies. He would have gone for the very highest, finest woman. But +there! What was the use! Besides, even if he had been--and he had +had--every joy of life here was but a passing show and must sometime come +to an end. And at the end would be this old problem. Sometime he would +have had to realize it, even if war had not come and brought the +revelation prematurely. What was it that he wanted? How could he find out +how to die? Where was God? + +But the stars were high and cold and gave no answer, and the whispering +leaves, although they soothed him, sighed and gave no help. + +The feeling was still with him next morning when the mail was +distributed. There would be nothing for him. His mother had written her +weekly letter and it had reached him the day before. He could expect +nothing for several days now. Other men were getting sheaves of letters. +How friendless he seemed among them all. One had a great chocolate cake +that a girl had sent him and the others were crowding around to get a +bit. It was doubtful if the laughing owner got more than a bite himself. +He might have been one of the group if he had chosen. They all liked him +well enough, although they knew him very little as yet, for he had kept +much to himself. But he turned sharply away from them and went out. +Somehow he was not in the mood for fun. He felt he must be growing morbid +but he could not throw it off that morning. It all seemed so hopeless, +the things he had tried to do in life and the slow progress he had made +upward; and now to have it all blocked by war! + +None of the other fellows ever dreamed that he was lonely, big, husky, +handsome fellow that he was, with a continuous joke on his lips for those +he had chosen as associates, with an arm of iron and a jaw that set like +steel, grim and unmistakably brave. The awkward squad as they wrathfully +obeyed his stern orders would have told you he had no heart, the way he +worked them, and would not have believed that he was just plain homesick +and lonesome for some one to care for him. + +He was not hungry that day when the dinner call came, and flung himself +down under a scrub oak outside the barracks while the others rushed in +with their mess kits ready for beans or whatever was provided for them. +He was glad that they were gone, glad that he might have the luxury of +being miserable all alone for a few minutes. He felt strangely as if he +were going to cry, and yet he didn't know what about. Perhaps he was +going to be sick. That would be horrible down in that half finished +hospital with hardly any equipment yet! He must brace up and put an end +to such softness. It was all in the idea anyway. + +Then a great hand came down upon his shoulder with a mighty slap and he +flung himself bolt upright with a frown to find his comrade whose bunk +was next to his in the barracks. He towered over Cameron polishing his +tin plate with a vigor. + +"What's the matter with you, you boob? There's roast beef and its good. +Cooky saved a piece for you. I told him you'd come. Go in and get it +quick! There's a letter for you, too, in the office. I'd have brought it +only I was afraid I would miss you. Here, take my mess kit and hurry! +There's some cracker-jack pickles, too, little sweet ones! Step lively, +or some one will swipe them all!" + +Cameron arose, accepted his friend's dishes and sauntered into the mess +hall. The letter couldn't be very important. His mother had no time to +write again soon, and there was no one else. It was likely an +advertisement or a formal greeting from some of the organizations at +home. They did that about fortnightly, the Red Cross, the Woman's Club, +The Emergency Aid, The Fire Company. It was kind in them but he wasn't +keen about it just then. It could wait until he got his dinner. They +didn't have roast beef every day, and now that he thought about it he was +hungry. + +He almost forgot the letter after dinner until a comrade reminded him, +handing over a thick delicately scented envelope with a silver crest on +the back. The boys got off their kidding about "the girl he'd left behind +him" and he answered with his old good-natured grin that made them love +him, letting them think he had all kinds of girls, for the dinner had +somewhat restored his spirits, but he crumpled the letter into his pocket +and got away into the woods to read it. + +Deliberately he walked down the yellow road, up over the hill by the +signal corps tents, across Wig-Wag Park to the woods beyond, and sat down +on a log with his letter. He told himself that it was likely one of those +fool letters the fellows were getting all the time from silly girls who +were uniform-crazy. He wouldn't answer it, of course, and he felt a kind +of contempt with himself for being weak enough to read it even to satisfy +his curiosity. + +Then he tore open the envelope half angrily and a faint whiff of violets +floated out to him. Over his head a meadow lark trilled a long sweet +measure, and glad surprise suddenly entered into his soul. + + + + +V + + +The letter was written in a fine beautiful hand and even before he saw +the silver monogram at the top, he knew who was the writer, though he did +not even remember to have seen the writing before: + +MY DEAR FRIEND: + +I have hesitated a long time before writing because I do not know that I +have the right to call you a friend, or even an acquaintance in the +commonly accepted sense of that term. It is so long since you and I went +to school together, and we have been so widely separated since then that +perhaps you do not even remember me, and may consider my letter an +intrusion. I hope not, for I should hate to rank with the girls who are +writing to strangers under the license of mistaken patriotism. + +My reason for writing you is that a good many years ago you did something +very nice and kind for me one day, in fact you helped me twice, although +I don't suppose you knew it. Then the other day, when you were going to +camp and I sat in my car and watched you, it suddenly came over me that +you were doing it again; this time a great big wonderful thing for me; +and doing it just as quietly and inconsequentially as you did it before; +and all at once I realized how splendid it was and wanted to thank you. + +It came over me, too, that I had never thanked you for the other times, +and very likely you never dreamed that you had done anything at all. + +You see I was only a little girl, very much frightened, because Chuck +Woodcock had teased me about my curls and said that he was going to catch +me and cut them off, and send me home to my aunt that way, and she would +turn me out of the house. He had been frightening me for several days, so +that I was afraid to go to school alone, and yet I would not tell my aunt +because I was afraid she would take me away from the Public School and +send me to a Private School which I did not want. But that day I had seen +Chuck Woodcock steal in behind the hedge, ahead of the girls. The others +were ahead of me and I was all out of breath--running to catch up because +I was afraid to pass him alone; and just as I got near two of them,--Mary +Wurts and Caroline Meadows, you remember them, don't you?--they gave a +scream and pitched headlong on the sidewalk. They had tripped over a wire +he had stretched from the tree to the hedge. I stopped short and got +behind a tree, and I remember how the tears felt in my throat, but I was +afraid to let them out because Chuck would call me a crybaby and I hated +that. And just then you came along behind me and jumped through the hedge +and caught Chuck and gave him an awful whipping. "Licking" I believe we +called it then. I remember how condemned I felt as I ran by the hedge and +knew in my heart that I was glad you were hurting him because he had been +so cruel to me. He used to pull my curls whenever he sat behind me in +recitation. + +I remember you came in to school late with your hair all mussed up +beautifully, and a big tear in your coat, and a streak of mud on your +face. I was so worried lest the teacher would find out you had been +fighting and make you stay after school. Because you see I knew in my +heart that you had been winning a battle for me, and if anybody had to +stay after school I wished it could be me because of what you had done +for me. But you came in laughing as you always did, and looking as if +nothing in the world unusual had happened, and when you passed my desk +you threw before me the loveliest pink rose bud I ever saw. That was the +second thing you did for me. + +Perhaps you won't understand how nice that was, either, for you see you +didn't know how unhappy I had been. The girls hadn't been very friendly +with me. They told me I was "stuck up," and they said I was too young to +be in their classes anyway and ought to go to Kindergarten. It was all +very hard for me because I longed to be big and have them for my friends. +I was very lonely in that great big house with only my aunt and +grandfather for company. But the girls wouldn't be friends at all until +they saw you give me that rose, and that turned the tide. They were crazy +about you, every one of them, and, they made up to me after that and told +me their secrets and shared their lunch and we had great times. And it +was all because you gave me the rose that day. The rose itself was lovely +and I was tremendously happy over it for its own sake, but it meant a +whole lot to me besides, and opened the little world of school to my +longing feet. I always wanted to thank you for it, but you looked as if +you didn't want me to, so I never dared; and lately I wasn't quite sure +you knew me, because you never looked my way any more. + +But when I saw you standing on the platform the other day with the other +drafted men, it all came over me how you were giving up the life you had +planned to go out and fight for me and other girls like me. I hadn't +thought of the war that way before, although, of course, I had heard that +thought expressed in speeches; but it never struck into my heart until I +saw the look on your face. It was a kind of "knightliness," if there is +such a word, and when I thought about it I realized it was the very same +look you had worn when you burst through the hedge after Chuck Woodcock, +and again when you came back and threw that rose on my desk. Although, +you had a big, broad boy's-grin on your face then, and were chewing gum I +remember quite distinctly; and the other day you looked so serious and +sorry as if it meant a great deal to you to go, but you were giving up +everything gladly without even thinking of hesitating. The look on your +face was a man's look, not a boy's. + +It has meant so much to me to realize this last great thing that you are +doing for me and for the other girls of our country that I had to write +and tell you how much I appreciate it. + +I have been wondering whether some one has been knitting you a sweater +yet, and the other things that they knit for soldiers; and if they +haven't, whether you would let me send them to you? It is the only thing +I can do for you who have done so much for me. + +I hope you will not think I am presuming to have written this on the +strength of a childish acquaintance. I wish you all honors that can come +to you on such a quest as yours, and I had almost said all good luck, +only that that word sounds too frivolous and pagan for such a serious +matter; so I will say all safety for a swift accomplishment of your task +and a swift homecoming. I used to think when I was a little child that +nothing could ever hurt you or make you afraid, and I cannot help feeling +now that you will come through the fire unscathed. May I hope to hear +from you about the sweater and things? And may I sign myself + + Your friend? + + RUTH MACDONALD. + +John Cameron lifted his eyes from the paper at last and looked up at the +sky. Had it ever been so blue before? At the trees. What whispering +wonders of living green! Was that only a bird that was singing that +heavenly song--a meadow lark, not an angel? Why had he never appreciated +meadow larks before? + +He rested his head back against a big oak and his soldier's hat fell off +on the ground. He closed his eyes and the burden of loneliness that had +borne down upon him all these weeks in the camp lifted from his heart. +Then he tried to realize what had come to him. Ruth Macdonald, the wonder +and admiration of his childhood days, the admired and envied of the home +town, the petted beauty at whose feet every man fell, the girl who had +everything that wealth could purchase! She had remembered the little old +rose he had dared to throw on her desk, and had bridged the years with +this letter! + +He was carried back in spirit to the day he left for camp. To the look in +her eyes as he moved away on the train. The look had been real then, and +not just a fleeting glance helped out by his fevered imagination. There +had been true friendliness in her eyes. She had intended to say good-bye +to him! She had put him on a level with her own beautiful self. She had +knighted him, as it were, and sent him forth! Even the war had become +different since she chose to think he was going forth to fight her +battles. What a sacred trust! + +Afar in the distance a bugle sounded that called to duty. He had no idea +how the time had flown. He glanced at his wrist watch and was amazed. He +sprang to his feet and strode over the ground, but the way no longer +seemed dusty and blinded with sunshine. It shone like a path of glory +before his willing feet, and he went to his afternoon round of duties +like a new man. He had a friend, a real friend, one that he had known a +long time. There was no fear that she was just writing to him to get one +more soldier at her feet as some girls would have done. Her letter was +too frank and sincere to leave a single doubt about what she meant. He +would take her at her word. + +Sometime during the course of the afternoon it occurred to him to look at +the date of the letter, and he found to his dismay that it had been +written nearly four weeks before and had been travelling around through +various departments in search of him, because it had not the correct +address. He readily guessed that she had not wanted to ask for his +company and barracks; she would not have known who to ask. She did not +know his mother, and who else was there? His old companions were mostly +gone to France or camp somewhere. + +And now, since all this time had elapsed she would think he had not +cared, had scorned her letter or thought it unmaidenly! He was filled +with dismay and anxiety lest he had hurt her frankness by his seeming +indifference. And the knitted things, the wonderful things that she had +made with her fair hands! Would she have given them to some one else by +this time? Of course, it meant little to her save as a kind of +acknowledgment for something she thought he had done for her as a child, +but they meant so much to him! Much more than they ought to do, he knew, +for he was in no position to allow himself to become deeply attached to +even the handiwork of any girl in her position. However, nobody need ever +know how much he cared, had always cared, for the lovely little girl with +her blue eyes, her long curls, her shy sweet smile and modest ways, who +had seemed to him like an angel from heaven when he was a boy. She had +said he did not know that he was helping her when he burst through the +hedge on the cowering Chuck Woodcock; and he would likely never dare to +tell her that it was because he saw her fright and saw her hide behind +that tree that he went to investigate and so was able to administer a +just punishment. He had picked that rose from the extreme west corner of +a great petted rose bush on the Wainwright lawn, reaching through an +elaborate iron fence to get it as he went cross-lots back to school. He +would call it stealing now to do that same, but then it had been in the +nature of a holy rite offered to a vestal virgin. Yet he must have cast +it down with the grin of an imp, boorish urchin that he was; and he +remembered blushing hotly in the dark afterwards at his presumption, as +he thought of it alone at night. And all the time she had been liking it. +The little girl--the little sweet girl! She had kept it in her heart and +remembered it! + +His heart was light as air as he went back to the barracks for retreat. A +miracle had been wrought for him which changed everything. No, he was not +presuming on a friendly letter. Maybe there would be fellows who would +think there wasn't much in just a friendly letter to a lonely soldier, +and a sweater or two more or less. But then they would never have known +what it was to be so lonely for friendship, real friendship, as he was. + +He would hurry through supper and get to the Y.M.C.A. hut to write her an +answer. He would explain how the letter had been delayed and say he hoped +she had not given the things away to someone else. He began planning +sentences as he stood at attention during the captain's inspection at +retreat. Somehow the captain was tiresomely particular about the buttons +and pocket flaps and little details to-night. He waited impatiently for +the command to break ranks, and was one of the first at the door of the +mess hall waiting for supper, his face alight, still planning what he +would say in that letter and wishing he could get some fine stationery to +write upon; wondering if there was any to be had with his caduces on it. + +At supper he bubbled with merriment. An old schoolmate might have thought +him rejuvenated. He wore his schoolboy grin and rattled off puns and +jokes, keeping the mess hall in a perfect roar. + +At last he was out in the cool of the evening with the wonderful sunset +off in the west, on his way to the Y.M.C.A. hut. He turned a corner +swinging into the main road and there, coming toward him, not twenty feet +away, he saw Lieutenant Wainwright! + + + + +VI + + +There was no possible way to avoid meeting him. John Cameron knew that +with the first glance. He also knew that Wainwright had recognized him at +once and was lifting his chin already with that peculiar, disagreeable +tilt of triumph that had always been so maddening to one who knew the +small mean nature of the man. + +Of course, there was still time to turn deliberately about and flee in +the other direction, but that would be all too obvious, and an open +confession of weakness. John Cameron was never at any time a coward. + +His firm lips set a trifle more sternly than usual, his handsome head was +held high with fine military bearing. He came forward without faltering +for even so much as the fraction of a waver. There was not a flicker in +his eyes set straight ahead. One would never have known from his looks +that he recognized the oncoming man, or had so much as realized that an +officer was approaching, yet his brain was doing some rapid calculation. +He had said in his heart if not openly that he would never salute this +man. He had many times in their home town openly passed him without +salute because he had absolutely no respect for him, and felt that he +owed it to his sense of the fitness of things not to give him deference, +but that was a different matter from camp. He knew that Wainwright was in +a position to do him injury, and no longer stood in fear of a good +thrashing from him as at home, because here he could easily have the +offender put in the guard house and disgraced forever. Nothing, of +course, would delight him more than thus to humiliate his sworn enemy. +Yet Cameron walked on knowing that he had resolved not to salute him. + +It was not merely pride in his own superiority. It was contempt for the +nature of the man, for his low contemptible plots and tricks, and cunning +ways, for his entire lack of principle, and his utter selfishness and +heartlessness, that made Cameron feel justified in his attitude toward +Wainwright. "He is nothing but a Hun at heart," he told himself bitterly. + +But the tables were turned. Wainwright was no longer in his home town +where his detestable pranks had goaded many of his neighbors and +fellowtownsmen into a cordial hatred of him. He was in a great military +camp, vested with a certain amount of authority, with the right to report +those under him; who in turn could not retaliate by telling what they +knew of him because it was a court-martial offense for a private to +report an officer. Well, naturally the United States was not supposed to +have put men in authority who needed reporting. Cameron, of course, +realized that these things had to be in order to maintain military +discipline. But it was inevitable that some unworthy ones should creep +in, and Wainwright was surely one of those unworthy ones. He would not +bend to him, officer, or no officer. What did he care what happened to +himself? Who was there to care but his mother? And she would understand +if the news should happen to penetrate to the home town, which was hardly +likely. Those who knew him would not doubt him, those who did not +mattered little. There was really no one who would care. Stay! A letter +crackled in his breast pocket and a cold chill of horror struggled up +from his heart. Suppose _she_ should hear of it! Yes, he would care for +that! + +They were almost meeting now and Cameron's eyes were straight ahead +staring hard at the big green shape of the theatre a quarter of a mile +away. His face under its usual control showed no sign of the tumult in +his heart, which flamed with a sudden despair against a fate that had +placed him in such a desperate situation. If there were a just power who +controlled the affairs of men, how could it let such things happen to one +who had always tried to live up upright life? It seemed for that instant +as if all the unfairness and injustice of his own hard life had +culminated in that one moment when he would have to do or not do and bear +the consequences. + +Then suddenly out from the barracks close at hand with brisk step and +noble bearing came Captain La Rue, swinging down the walk into the road +straight between the two men and stopped short in front of Cameron with a +light of real welcome in his eyes, as he lifted his hand to answer the +salute which the relieved Cameron instantly flashed at him. + +In that second Lieutenant Wainwright flung past them with a curt salute +to the higher officer and a glare at the corporal which the latter seemed +not to see. It was so simultaneous with Cameron's salute of La Rue that +nobody on earth could say that the salute had not included the +lieutenant, yet both the lieutenant and the corporal knew that it had +not; and Wainwright's brow was dark with intention as he turned sharply +up the walk to the barracks which the captain had just left. + +"I was just coming in search of you, Cameron," said the captain with a +twinkle in his eyes, and his voice was clearly distinct to Wainwright as +he loitered in the barracks doorway to listen, "I went down to Washington +yesterday and put in the strongest plea I knew how for your transfer. I +hope it will go through all right. There is no one else out for the job +and you are just the man for the place. It will be a great comfort to +have you with me." + +A few more words and the busy man moved on eluding Cameron's earnest +thanks and leaving him to pursue his course to the Y.M.C.A. hut with a +sense of soothing and comfort. It never occurred to either of them that +their brief conversation had been overheard, and would not have disturbed +them if it had. + +Lieutenant Wainwright lingered on the steps of the barracks with a +growing curiosity and satisfaction. The enemy were playing right into his +hands: _both_ the enemy--for he hated Captain La Rue as sin always hates +the light. + +He lounged about the barracks in deep thought for a few minutes and then +made a careful toilet and went out. + +He knew exactly where to go and how to use his influence, which was not +small, although not personal. It was characteristic of the man that it +made no difference to him that the power he was wielding was a borrowed +power whose owner would have been the last man to have done what he was +about to do with it. He had never in his life hesitated about getting +whatever he wanted by whatever means presented itself. He was often aware +that people gave him what he wanted merely to get rid of him, but this +did not alloy his pleasure in his achievement. + +He was something of a privileged character in the high place to which he +betook himself, on account of the supreme regard which was held for the +uncle, a mighty automobile king, through whose influence he had obtained +his commission. So far he had not availed himself of his privileges too +often and had therefore not as yet outworn his welcome, for he was a true +diplomat. He entered this evening with just the right shade of delicate +assurance and humble affrontery to assure him a cordial welcome, and +gracefully settled himself into the friendliness that was readily +extended to him. He was versed in all the ways of the world and when he +chose could put up a good appearance. He knew that for the sake of his +father's family and more especially because of his uncle's high standing, +this great official whom he was calling upon was bound to be nice to him +for a time. So he bided his time till a few other officials had left and +his turn came. + +The talk was all personal, a few words about his relatives and then +questions about himself, his commission, how he liked it, and how things +were going with him. Mere form and courtesy, but he knew how to use the +conversation for his own ends: + +"Oh, I'm getting along fine and dandy!" he declared effusively, "I'm just +crazy about camp! I like the life! But I'll tell you what makes me tired. +It's these little common guys running around fussing about their jobs and +trying to get a lot of pull to get into some other place. Now there's an +instance of that in our company, a man from my home town, no account +whatever and never was, but he's got it in his head that he's a square +peg in a round hole and he wants to be transferred. He shouts about it +from morning till night trying to get everybody to help him, and at last +I understand he's hoodwinked one captain into thinking he's the salt of +the earth, and they are plotting together to get him transferred. I +happened to overhear them talking about it just now, how they are going +to this one and that one in Washington to get things fixed to suit them. +They think they've got the right dope on things all right and it's going +through for him to get his transfer. It makes me sick. He's no more fit +for a commission than my dog, not as fit, for he could at least obey +orders. This fellow never did anything but what he pleased. I've known +him since we were kids and never liked him. But he has a way with him +that gets people till they understand him. It's too bad when the country +needs real men to do their duty that a fellow like that can get a +commission when he is utterly inefficient besides being a regular breeder +of trouble. But, of course, I can't tell anybody what I know about him." + +"I guess you needn't worry, Wainwright. They can't make any transfers +without sending them up to me, and you may be good and sure I'm not +transferring anybody just now without a good reason, no matter who is +asking it. He's in your company, is he? And where does he ask to be +transferred? Just give me his name. I'll make a note of it. If it ever +comes up I'll know how to finish him pretty suddenly. Though I doubt if +it does. People are not pulling wires just now. This is _war_ and +everything means business. However, if I find there has been wire-pulling +I shall know how to deal with it summarily. It's a court-martial offense, +you know." + +They passed on to other topics, and Wainwright with his little eyes +gleaming triumphantly soon took himself out into the starlight knowing +that he had done fifteen minutes' good work and not wishing to outdo it. +He strolled contentedly back to officers' quarters wearing a more +complacent look on his heavy features. He would teach John Cameron to +ignore him! + +Meantime John Cameron with his head among the stars walked the dusty camp +streets and forgot the existence of Lieutenant Wainwright. A glow of +gratitude had flooded his soul at sight of his beloved captain, whom he +hoped soon to be able to call _his_ captain. Unconsciously he walked with +more self-respect as the words of confidence and trust rang over again in +his ears. Unconsciously the little matters of personal enmity became +smaller, of less importance, beside the greater things of life in which +he hoped soon to have a real part. If he got this transfer it meant a +chance to work with a great man in a great way that would not only help +the war but would be of great value to him in this world after the war +was over. It was good to have the friendship of a man like that, fine, +clean, strong, intellectual, kind, just, human, gentle as a woman, yet +stern against all who deviated from the path of right. + +The dusk was settling into evening and twinkling lights gloomed out amid +the misty, dust-laden air. Snatches of wild song chorused out from open +windows: + + She's my lady, my baby, + She's cock-eyed, she's crazy. + +The twang of a banjo trailed in above the voices, with a sound of +scuffling. Loud laughter broke the thread of the song leaving _"Mary +Ann!"_ to soar out alone. Then the chorus took it up once more: + + All her teeth are false + From eating Rochelle salts-- + She's my freckled-faced, consumptive MARY ANN-N-N! + +Cameron turned in at the quiet haven of the Y.M.C.A. hut, glad to leave +the babel sounds outside. Somehow they did not fit his mood to-night, +although there were times when he could roar the outlandish gibberish +with the best of them. But to-night he was on such a wonderful sacred +errand bent, that it seemed as though he wanted to keep his soul from +contact with rougher things lest somehow it might get out of tune and so +unfit him for the task before him. + +And then when he had seated himself before the simple desk he looked at +the paper with discontent. True, it was all that was provided and it was +good enough for ordinary letters, but this letter to her was different. +He wished he had something better. To think he was really writing to +_her_! And now that he was here with the paper before him what was he to +say? Words seemed to have deserted him. How should he address her? + +It was not until he had edged over to the end of the bench away from +everybody else and taken out the precious letter that he gained +confidence and took up his pen: + +"My dear friend:----" Why, he would call her his friend, of course, that +was what she had called him. And as he wrote he seemed to see her again +as she sat in her car by the station the day he started on his long, long +trail and their eyes had met. Looking so into her eyes again, he wrote +straight from his soul: + +MY DEAR FRIEND: + +Your letter has just reached me after travelling about for weeks. I am +not going to try to tell you how wonderful it is to me to have it. In +fact, the wonder began that morning I left home when you smiled at me and +waved a friendly farewell. It was a great surprise to me. I had not +supposed until that moment that you remembered my existence. Why should +you? And it has never been from lack of desire to do so that I failed to +greet you when we passed in the street. I did not think that I, a mere +little hoodlum from your infant days, had a right to intrude upon your +grown-up acquaintance without a hint from you that such recognition would +be agreeable. I never blamed you for not speaking of course. Perhaps I +didn't give you the chance. I simply thought I had grown out of your +memory as was altogether natural. It was indeed a pleasant experience to +see that light of friendliness in your eyes at the station that day, and +to know it was a real personal recognition and not just a patriotic gush +of enthusiasm for the whole shabby lot of us draftees starting out to an +unknown future. I thanked you in my heart for that little bit of personal +friendliness but I never expected to have an opportunity to thank you in +words, nor to have the friendliness last after I had gone away. When your +letter came this morning it sure was some pleasant surprise. I know you +have a great many friends, and plenty of people to write letters to, but +somehow there was a real note of comradeship in the one you wrote me, not +as if you just felt sorry for me because I had to go off to war and fight +and maybe get killed. It was as if the conditions of the times had +suddenly swept away a lot of foolish conventions of the world, which may +all have their good use perhaps at times, but at a time like this are +superfluous, and you had just gravely and sweetly offered me an old +friend's sympathy and good will. As such I have taken it and am rejoicing +in it. + +Don't make any mistake about this, however. I never have forgotten you or +the rose! I stole it from the Wainwright's yard after I got done licking +Chuck, and I had a fight with Hal Wainwright over it which almost +finished the rose, and nearly got me expelled from school before I got +through with it. Hal told his mother and she took it to the school board. +I was a pretty tough little rascal in those days I guess and no doubt +needed some lickings myself occasionally. But I remember I almost lost my +nerve when I got back to school that day and came within an ace of +stuffing the rose in my pocket instead of throwing it on your desk. I +never dreamed the rose would be anything to you. It was only my way of +paying tribute to you. You seemed to me something like a rose yourself, +just dropped down out of heaven you know, you were so little and pink and +gold with such great blue eyes. Pardon me. I don't mean to be too +personal. You don't mind a big hobbledehoy's admiration, do you? You were +only a baby; but I would have licked any boy in town that lifted a word +or a finger against you. And to think you really needed my help! It +certainly would have lifted me above the clouds to have known it then! + +And now about this war business. Of course it is a rough job, and +somebody had to do it for the world. I was glad and willing to do my +part; but it makes a different thing out of it to be called a knight, and +I guess I'll look at it a little more respectfully now. If a life like +mine can protect a life like yours from some of the things those Germans +are putting over I'll gladly give it. I've sized it up that a man +couldn't do a bigger thing for the world anyhow he planned it than to +make the world safe for a life like yours; so me for what they call "the +supreme sacrifice," and it won't be any sacrifice at all if it helps you! + +No, I haven't got a sweater or those other things that go with those that +you talk about. Mother hasn't time to knit and I never was much of a +lady's man, I guess you know if you know me at all. Or perhaps you don't. +But anyhow I'd be wonderfully pleased to wear a sweater that you knit, +although it seems a pretty big thing for you to do for me. However, if +knitting is your job in this war, and I wouldn't be robbing any other +better fellow, I certainly would just love to have it. + +If you could see this big dusty monotonous olive-drab camp you would know +what a bright spot your letter and the thought of a real friend has made +in it. I suppose you have been thinking all this time that I was +neglectful because I didn't answer, but it was all the fault of someone +who gave you the wrong address. I am hoping you will forgive me for the +delay and that some day you will have time to write to me again. + + Sincerely and proudly, + + Your knight, + + JOHN CAMERON. + +As he walked back to his barracks in the starlight his heart was filled +with a great peace. What a thing it was to have been able to speak to her +on paper and let her know his thoughts of her. It was as if after all +these years he had been able to pluck another trifling rose and lay it at +her lovely feet. Her knight! It was the fulfillment of all his boyish +dreams! + +He had entrusted his letter to the Y.M.C.A. man to mail as he was going +out of camp that night and would mail it in Baltimore, ensuring it an +immediate start. Now he began to speculate whether it would reach its +destination by morning and be delivered with the morning mail. He felt as +excited and impatient as a child over it. + +Suddenly a voice above him in a barracks window rang out with a familiar +guffaw, and the words: + +"Why, man, I can't! Didn't I tell you I'm going to marry Ruth Macdonald +before I go! There wouldn't be time for that and the other, too!" + +Something in his heart grew cold with pain and horror, and something in +his motive power stopped suddenly and halted his feet on the sidewalk in +the grade cut below the officers' barracks. + +"Aw! A week more won't make any difference," drawled another familiar +voice, "I say, Hal, she's just crazy about you and you could get no end +of information out of her if you tried. All she asks is that you tell +what you know about a few little things that don't matter anyway." + +"But I tell you I can't, man. If Ruth found out about the girl the +mischief would be to pay. She wouldn't stand for another girl--not that +kind of a girl, you know, and there wouldn't be time for me to explain +and smooth things over before I go across the Pond. I tell you I've made +up my mind about this." + +The barracks door slammed shut on the voices and Corporal Cameron's heart +gave a great jump upwards in his breast and went on. Slowly, dizzily he +came to his senses and moved on automatically toward his own quarters. + + + + +VII + + +He had passed the quarters of the signal corps before the thought of the +letter he had just written came to his mind. Then he stopped short, gave +one agonizing glance toward his barracks only a few feet away, realized +that it was nearly time for bed call and that he could not possibly make +it if he went back, then whirled about and started out on a wild run like +a madman over the ground he had just traveled. He was not conscious of +carrying on a train of thought as he ran, his only idea was to get to the +Y.M.C.A. hut before the man had left with the letter. Never should his +childhood's enemy have that letter to sneer over! + +All the pleasant phrases which had flowed from his pen so easily but a +few moments before seemed to flare now in letters of fire before his +blood-shot eyes as he bounded over the ground. To think he should have +lowered himself and weakened his position so, as to write to the girl who +was soon to be the wife of that contemptible puppy! + +The bugles began to sound taps here and there in the barracks as he flew +past, but they meant nothing to him. Breathless he arrived at the +Y.M.C.A. hut just as the last light was being put out. A dark figure +stood on the steps as he halted entirely winded, and tried to gasp out: +"Where is Mr. Hathaway?" to the assistant who was locking up. + +"Oh, he left five minutes after you did," said the man with a yawn. "The +rector came by in his car and took him along. Say, you'll be late getting +in, Corporal, taps sounded almost five minutes ago." + +With a low exclamation of disgust and dismay Cameron turned and started +back again in a long swinging stride, his face flushing hotly in the dark +over his double predicament. He had gone back for nothing and got himself +subject to a calling down, a thing which he had avoided scrupulously +since coming to camp, but he was so miserable over the other matter that +it seemed a thing of no moment to him now. He was altogether occupied +with metaphorically kicking himself for having answered that letter; for +having mailed it so soon without ever stopping to read it over or give +himself a chance to reconsider. He might have known, he might have +remembered that Ruth Macdonald was no comrade for him; that she was a +neighbor of the Wainwright's and would in all probability be a friend of +the lieutenant's. Not for all that he owned in the world or hoped to own, +would he have thus laid himself open to the possibility of having +Wainwright know any of his inner thoughts. He would rather have lived and +died unknown, unfriended, than that this should come to pass. + +And she? The promised wife of Wainwright! Could it be? She must have +written him that letter merely from a fine friendly patronage. All right, +of course, from her standpoint, but from his, gall and wormwood to his +proud spirit. Oh, that he had not answered it! He might have known! He +should have remembered that she had never been in his class. Not that his +people were not as good as hers, and maybe better, so far as intellectual +attainments were concerned; but his had lost their money, had lived a +quiet life, and in her eyes and the eyes of her family were very likely +as the mere dust of the earth. And now, just now when war had set its +seal of sacrifice upon all young men in uniform, he as a soldier had +risen to a kind of deified class set apart for hero worship, nothing +more. It was not her fault that she had been brought up that way, and +that he seemed so to her, and nothing more. She had shown her beautiful +spirit in giving him the tribute that seemed worthiest to her view. He +would not blame her, nor despise her, but he would hold himself aloof as +he had done in the past, and show her that he wanted no favors, no +patronage. He was sufficient to himself. What galled him most was to +think that perhaps in the intimacy of their engagement she might show his +letter to Wainwright, and they would laugh together over him, a poor +soldier, presuming to write as he had done to a girl in her station. They +would laugh together, half pitifully--at least the woman would be +pitiful, the man was likely to sneer. He could see his hateful mustache +curl now with scorn and his little eyes twinkle. And he would tell her +all the lies he had tried to put upon him in the past. He would give her +a wrong idea of his character. He would rejoice and triumph to do so! Oh, +the bitterness of it! It overwhelmed him so that the little matter of +getting into his bunk without being seen by the officer in charge was +utterly overlooked by him. + +Perhaps some good angel arranged the way for him so that he was able to +slip past the guards without being challenged. Two of the guards were +talking at the corner of the barracks with their backs to him at the +particular second when he came in sight. A minute later they turned back +to their monotonous march and the shadow of the vanishing corporal had +just disappeared from among the other dark shadows of the night +landscape. Inside the barracks another guard welcomed him eagerly without +questioning his presence there at that hour: + +"Say, Cam, how about day after to-morrow? Are you free? Will you take my +place on guard? I want to go up to Philadelphia and see my girl, and I'm +sure of a pass, but I'm listed for guard duty. I'll do the same for you +sometime." + +"Sure!" said Cameron heartily, and swung up stairs with a sudden +realization that he had been granted a streak of good luck. Yet somehow +he did not seem to care much. + +He tiptoed over to his bunk among the rows of sleeping forms, removed +from it a pair of shoes, three books, some newspapers and a mess kit +which some lazy comrades had left there, and threw himself down with +scant undressing. It seemed as though a great calamity had befallen him, +although when he tried to reason it out he could not understand how +things were so much changed from what they had been that morning before +he received the letter. Ruth Macdonald had never been anything in his +life but a lovely picture. There was no slightest possibility that she +would ever be more. She was like a distant star to be admired but never +come near. Had he been fool enough to have his head turned by her writing +that kind letter to him? Had he even remotely fancied she would ever be +anything nearer to him than just a formal friend who occasionally stooped +to give a bright smile or do a kindness? Well, if he had, he needed this +knockdown blow. It might be a good thing that it came so soon before he +had let this thing grow in his imagination; but oh, if it had but come a +bit sooner! If it had only been on the way over to the Y.M.C.A. hut +instead of on the way back that letter would never have been written! She +would have set him down as a boor perhaps, but what matter? What was she +to him, or he to her? Well--perhaps he would have written a letter +briefly to thank her for her offer of knitting, but it would have been an +entirely different letter from the one he did write. He ground his teeth +as he thought out the letter he should have written: + +MY DEAR MISS MACDONALD: (No "friend" about that.) + +It certainly was kind of you to think of me as a possible recipient of a +sweater. But I feel that there are other boys who perhaps need things +more than I do. I am well supplied with all necessities. I appreciate +your interest in an old school friend. The life of a soldier is not so +bad, and I imagine we shall have no end of novel experiences before the +war is over. I hope we shall be able to put an end to this terrible +struggle very soon when we get over and make the world a safe and happy +place for you and your friends. Here's hoping the men who are your +special friends will all come home safe and sound and soon. + + Sincerely, + + J. CAMERON. + +He wrote that letter over and over mentally as he tossed on his bunk in +the dark, changing phrases and whole sentences. Perhaps it would be +better to say something about "her officer friends" and make it very +clear to her that he understood his own distant position with her. Then +suddenly he kicked the big blue blanket off and sat up with a deep sigh. +What a fool he was. He could not write another letter. The letter was +gone, and as it was written he must abide by it. He could not get it back +or unwrite it much as he wished it. There was no excuse, or way to make +it possible to write and refuse those sweaters and things, was there? + +He sat staring into the darkness while the man in the next bunk roused to +toss back his blanket which had fallen superfluously across his face, and +to mutter some sleepy imprecations. But Cameron was off on the +composition of another letter: + +MY DEAR MISS MACDONALD: + +I have been thinking it over and have decided that I do not need a +sweater or any of those other things you mention. I really am pretty well +supplied with necessities, and you know they don't give us much room to +put anything around the barracks. There must be a lot of other fellows +who need them more, so I will decline that you may give your work to +others who have nothing, or to those who are your personal friends. + + Very truly, + + J. CAMERON. + +Having convinced his turbulent brain that it was quite possible for him +to write such a letter as this, he flung himself miserably back on his +hard cot again and realized that he did not want to write it. That it +would be almost an insult to the girl, who even if she had been +patronizing him, had done it with a kind intent, and after all it was not +her fault that he was a fool. She had a right to marry whom she would. +Certainly he never expected her to marry him. Only he had to own to +himself that he wanted those things she had offered. He wanted to touch +something she had worked upon, and feel that it belonged to him. He +wanted to keep this much of human friendship for himself. Even if she was +going to marry another man, she had always been his ideal of a beautiful, +lovable woman, and as such she should stay his, even if she married a +dozen enemy officers! + +It was then he began to see that the thing that was really making him +miserable was that she was giving her sweet young life to such a rotten +little mean-natured man as Wainwright. That was the real pain. If some +fine noble man like--well--like Captain La Rue, only younger, of course, +should come along he would be glad for her. But this excuse for a man! +Oh, it was outrageous! How could she be so deceived? and yet, of course, +women knew very little of men. They had no standards by which to judge +them. They had no opportunity to see them except in plain sight of those +they wished to please. One could not expect them to have discernment in +selecting their friends. But what a pity! Things were all wrong! There +ought to be some way to educate a woman so that she would realize the +dangers all about her and be somewhat protected. It was worse for Ruth +Macdonald because she had no men in her family who could protect her. Her +old grandfather was the only near living male relative and he was a +hopeless invalid, almost entirely confined to the house. What could he +know of the young men who came to court his granddaughter? What did he +remember of the ways of men, having been so many years shut away from +their haunts? + +The corporal tossed on his hard cot and sighed like a furnace. There +ought to be some one to protect her. Someone ought to make her understand +what kind of a fellow Wainwright was! She had called him her knight, and +a knight's business was to protect, yet what could he do? He could not go +to her and tell her that the man she was going to marry was rotten and +utterly without moral principle. He could not even send some one else to +warn her. Who could he send? His mother? No, his mother would feel shy +and afraid of a girl like that. She had always lived a quiet life. He +doubted if she would understand herself how utterly unfit a mate +Wainwright was for a good pure girl. And there was no one else in the +world that he could send. Besides, if she loved the man, and +incomprehensible as it seemed, she must love him or why should she marry +him?--if she loved him she would not believe an angel from heaven against +him. Women were that way; that is, if they were good women, like Ruth. +Oh, to think of her tied up to that--_beast!_ He could think of no other +word. In his agony he rolled on his face and groaned aloud. + +"Oh God!" his soul cried out, "why do such things have to be? If there +really is a God why does He let such awful things happen to a pure good +girl? The same old bitter question that had troubled the hard young days +of his own life. Could there be a God who cared when bitterness was in so +many cups? Why had God let the war come?" + +Sometime in the night the tumult in his brain and heart subsided and he +fell into a profound sleep. The next thing he knew the kindly roughness +of his comrades wakened him with shakes and wet sponges flying through +the air, and he opened his consciousness to the world again and heard the +bugle blowing for roll call. Another day had dawned grayly and he must +get up. They set him on his feet, and bantered him into action, and he +responded with his usual wit that put them all in howls of laughter, but +as he stumbled into place in the line in the five o'clock dawning he +realized that a heavy weight was on his heart which he tried to throw +off. What did it matter what Ruth Macdonald did with her life? She was +nothing to him, never had been and never could be. If only he had not +written that letter all would now be as it always had been. If only she +had not written her letter! Or no! He put his hand to his breast pocket +with a quick movement of protection. Somehow he was not yet ready to +relinquish that one taste of bright girl friendliness, even though it had +brought a stab in its wake. + +He was glad when the orders came for him and five other fellows to tramp +across the camp to the gas school and go through two solid hours of +instruction ending with a practical illustration of the gas mask and a +good dose of gas. It helped to put his mind on the great business of war +which was to be his only business now until it or he were ended. He set +his lips grimly and went about his work vigorously. What did it matter, +anyway, what she thought of him? He need never answer another letter, +even if she wrote. He need not accept the package from the post office. +He could let them send it back--refuse it and let them send it back, that +was what he could do! Then she might think what she liked. Perhaps she +would suppose him already gone to France. Anyhow, he would forget her! It +was the only sensible thing to do. + +Meanwhile the letter had flown on its way with more than ordinary +swiftness, as if it had known that a force was seeking to bring it back +again. The Y.M.C.A. man was carried at high speed in an automobile to the +nearest station to the camp, and arrived in time to catch the Baltimore +train just stopping. In the Baltimore station he went to mail the letter +just as the letter gatherer arrived with his keys to open the box. So the +letter lost no time but was sorted and started northward before midnight, +and by some happy chance arrived at its destination in time to be laid by +Ruth Macdonald's plate at lunch time the next day. + +Some quick sense must have warned Ruth, for she gathered her mail up and +slipped it unobtrusively into the pocket of her skirt before it could be +noticed. Dottie Wetherill had come home with her for lunch and the bright +red Y.M.C.A. triangle on the envelope was so conspicuous. Dottie was +crazy over soldiers and all things military. She would be sure to exclaim +and ask questions. She was one of those people who always found out +everything about you that you did not keep under absolute lock and key. + +Every day since she had written her letter to Cameron Ruth had watched +for an answer, her cheeks glowing sometimes with the least bit of +mortification that she should have written at all to have received this +rebuff. Had he, after all, misunderstood her? Or had the letter gone +astray, or the man gone to the front? She had almost given up expecting +an answer now after so many weeks, and the nice warm olive-drab sweater +and neatly knitted socks with extra long legs and bright lines of color +at the top, with the wristlets and muffler lay wrapped in tissue paper at +the very bottom of a drawer in the chiffonier where she would seldom see +it and where no one else would ever find it and question her. Probably by +and by when the colored draftees were sent away she would get them out +and carry them down to the headquarters to be given to some needy man. +She felt humiliated and was beginning to tell herself that it was all her +own fault and a good lesson for her. She had even decided not to go and +see John Cameron's mother again lest that, too, might be misunderstood. +It seemed that the frank true instincts of her own heart had been wrong, +and she was getting what she justly deserved for departing from Aunt +Rhoda's strictly conventional code. + +Nevertheless, the letter in her pocket which she had not been able to +look at carefully enough to be sure if she knew the writing, crackled and +rustled and set her heart beating excitedly, and her mind to wondering +what it might be. She answered Dottie Wetherill's chatter with distraught +monosyllables and absent smiles, hoping that Dottie would feel it +necessary to go home soon after lunch. + +But it presently became plain that Dottie had no intention of going home +soon; that she had come for a purpose and that she was plying all her +arts to accomplish it. Ruth presently roused from her reverie to realize +this and set herself to give Dottie as little satisfaction as possible +out of her task. It was evident that she had been sent to discover the +exact standing and relation in which Ruth held Lieutenant Harry +Wainwright. Ruth strongly suspected that Dottie's brother Bob had been +the instigator of the mission, and she had no intention of giving him the +information. + +So Ruth's smiles came out and the inscrutable twinkle grew in her lovely +eyes. Dottie chattered on sentence after sentence, paragraph after +paragraph, theme after theme, always rounding up at the end with some +perfectly obvious leading question. Ruth answered in all apparent +innocence and sincerity, yet with an utterly different turn of the +conversation from what had been expected, and with an indifference that +was hopelessly baffling unless the young ambassador asked a point blank +question, which she hardly dared to do of Ruth Macdonald without more +encouragement. And so at last a long two hours dragged thus away, and +finally Dottie Wetherill at the end of her small string, and at a loss +for more themes on which to trot around again to the main idea, +reluctantly accepted her defeat and took herself away, leaving Ruth to +her long delayed letter. + + + + +VIII + + +Ruth sat looking into space with starry eyes and glowing cheeks after she +had read the letter. It seemed to her a wonderful letter, quite the most +wonderful she had ever received. Perhaps it was because it fitted so +perfectly with her ideal of the writer, who from her little girlhood had +always been a picture of what a hero must be. She used to dream big +things about him when she was a child. He had been the best baseball +player in school when he was ten, and the handsomest little rowdy in +town, as well as the boldest, bravest champion of the little girls. + +As she grew older and met him occasionally she had always been glad that +he kept his old hero look though often appearing in rough garb. She had +known they were poor. There had been some story about a loss of money and +a long expensive sickness of the father's following an accident which +made all the circumstances most trying, but she had never heard the +details. She only knew that most of the girls in her set looked on him as +a nobody and would no more have companied with him than with their +father's chauffeur. After he grew older and began to go to college some +of the girls began to think he was good looking, and to say it was quite +commendable in him to try to get an education. Some even unearthed the +fact that his had been a fine old family in former days and that there +had been wealth and servants once. But the story died down as John +Cameron walked his quiet way apart, keeping to his old friends, and not +responding to the feeble advances of the girls. Ruth had been away at +school in these days and had seldom seen him. When she had there had +always been that lingering admiration for him from the old days. She had +told herself that of course he could not be worth much or people would +know him. He was probably ignorant and uncultured, and a closer +acquaintance would show him far from what her young ideas had pictured +her hero. But somehow that day at the station, the look in his face had +revealed fine feeling, and she was glad now to have her intuition +concerning him verified by his letter. + +And what a letter it was! Why, no young man of her acquaintance could +have written with such poetic delicacy. That paragraph about the rose was +beautiful, and not a bit too presuming, either, in one who had been a +perfect stranger all these years. She liked his simple frankness and the +easy way he went back twelve years and began just where they left off. +There was none of the bold forwardness that might have been expected in +one who had not moved in cultured society. There was no unpleasant +assumption of familiarity which might have emphasized her fear that she +had overstepped the bounds of convention in writing to him in the first +place. On the contrary, her humiliation at his long delayed answer was +all forgotten now. He had understood her perfectly and accepted her +letter in exactly the way she had meant it without the least bit of +foolishness or unpleasantness. In short, he had written the sort of a +letter that the kind of man she had always thought--hoped--he was would +be likely to write, and it gave her a surprisingly pleasant feeling of +satisfaction. It was as if she had discovered a friend all of her own not +made for her by her family, nor one to whom she fell heir because of her +wealth and position; but just one she had found, out in the great world +of souls. + +If he had been going to remain at home there might have been a number of +questions, social and conventional, which would have arisen to bar the +way to this free feeling of a friendship, and which she would have had to +meet and reason with before her mind would have shaken itself unhampered; +but because he was going away and on such an errand, perhaps never to +return, the matter of what her friends might think or what the world +would say, simply did not enter into the question at all. The war had +lifted them both above such ephemeral barriers into the place of vision +where a soul was a soul no matter what he possessed or who he was. So, as +she sat in her big white room with all its dainty accessories to a +luxurious life, fit setting for a girl so lovely, she smiled unhindered +at this bit of beautiful friendship that had suddenly drifted down at her +feet out of a great outside unknown world. She touched the letter +thoughtfully with caressing fingers, and the kind of a high look in her +eyes that a lady of old must have worn when she thought of her knight. It +came to her to wonder that she had not felt so about any other of her men +friends who had gone into the service. Why should this special one +soldier boy represent the whole war, as it were, in this way to her. +However, it was but a passing thought, and with a smile still upon her +lips she went to the drawer and brought out the finely knitted garments +she had made, wrapping them up with care and sending them at once upon +their way. It somehow gave her pleasure to set aside a small engagement +she had for that afternoon until she had posted the package herself. + +Even then, when she took her belated way to a little gathering in honor +of one of her girl friends who was going to be married the next week to a +young aviator, she kept the smile on her lips and the dreamy look in her +eyes, and now and then brought herself back from the chatter around her +to remember that something pleasant had happened. Not that there was any +foolishness in her thoughts. There was too much dignity and simplicity +about the girl, young as she was, to allow her to deal even with her own +thoughts in any but a maidenly way, and it was not in the ordinary way of +a maid with a man that she thought of this young soldier. He was so far +removed from her life in every way, and all the well-drilled formalities, +that it never occurred to her to think of him in the same way she thought +of her other men friends. + +A friend who understood her, and whom she could understand. That was what +she had always wanted and what she had never quite had with any of her +young associates. One or two had approached to that, but always there had +been a point at which they had fallen short. That she should make this +man her friend whose letter crackled in her pocket, in that intimate +sense of the word, did not occur to her even now. He was somehow set +apart for service in her mind; and as such she had chosen him to be her +special knight, she to be the lady to whom he might look for +encouragement--whose honor he was going forth to defend. It was a misty +dreamy ideal of a thought. Somehow she would not have picked out any +other of her boy friends to be a knight for her. They were too flippant, +too careless and light hearted. The very way in which they lighted their +multitudinous cigarettes and flipped the match away gave impression that +they were going to have the time of their lives in this war. They might +have patriotism down at the bottom of all this froth and boasting, +doubtless they had; but there was so little seriousness about them that +one would never think of them as knights, defenders of some great cause +of righteousness. Perhaps she was all wrong. Perhaps it was only her old +baby fancy for the little boy who could always "lick" the other boys and +save the girls from trouble that prejudiced her in his favor, but at +least it was pleasant and a great relief to know that her impulsive +letter had not been misunderstood. + +The girls prattled of this one and that who were "going over" soon, told +of engagements and marriages soon to occur; criticized the brides and +grooms to be; declared their undying opinions about what was fitting for +a war bride to wear; and whether they would like to marry a man who had +to go right into war and might return minus an arm or an eye. They +discoursed about the U-boats with a frothy cheerfulness that made Ruth +shudder; and in the same breath told what nice eyes a young captain had +who had recently visited the town, and what perfectly lovely uniforms he +wore. They argued with serious zeal whether a girl should wear an +olive-drab suit this year if she wanted to look really smart. + +They were the girls among whom she had been brought up, and Ruth was used +to their froth, but somehow to-day it bored her beyond expression. She +was glad to make an excuse to get away and she drove her little car +around by the way of John Cameron's home hoping perhaps to get a glimpse +of his mother again. But the house had a shut up look behind the vine +that he had trained, as if it were lonely and lying back in a long wait +till he should come--or not come! A pang went through her heart. For the +first time she thought what it meant for a young life like that to be +silenced by cold steel. The home empty! The mother alone! His ambitions +and hopes unfulfilled! It came to her, too, that if he were her knight he +might have to die for her--for his cause! She shuddered and swept the +unpleasant thought away, but it had left its mark and would return again. + +On the way back she passed a number of young soldiers home on twenty-four +hour leave from the nearby camps. They saluted most eagerly, and she knew +that any one of them would have gladly occupied the vacant seat in her +car, but she was not in the mood to talk with them. She felt that there +was something to be thought out and fixed in her mind, some impression +that life had for her that afternoon that she did not want to lose in the +mild fritter of gay banter that would be sure to follow if she stopped +and took home some of the boys. So she bowed graciously and swept by at a +high speed as if in a great hurry. The war! The war! It was beating +itself into her brain again in much the same way it had done on that +morning when the drafted men went away, only now it had taken on a more +personal touch. She kept seeing the lonely vine-clad house where that one +soldier had lived, and which he had left so desolate. She kept thinking +how many such homes and mothers there must be in the land. + +That evening when she was free to go to her room she read John Cameron's +letter again, and then, feeling almost as if she were childish in her +haste, she sat down and wrote an answer. Somehow that second reading made +her feel his wish for an answer. It seemed a mute appeal that she could +not resist. + +When John Cameron received that letter and the accompanying package he +was lifted into the seventh heaven for a little while. He forgot all his +misgivings, he even forgot Lieutenant Wainwright who had but that day +become a most formidable foe, having been transferred to Cameron's +company, where he was liable to be commanding officer in absence of the +captain, and where frequent salutes would be inevitable. It had been a +terrible blow to Cameron. But now it suddenly seemed a small matter. He +put on his new sweater and swelled around the way the other boys did, +letting them all admire him. He examined the wonderful socks almost +reverently, putting a large curious finger gently on the red and blue +stripes and thrilling with the thought that her fingers had plied the +needles in those many, many stitches to make them. He almost felt it +would be sacrilege to wear them, and he laid them away most carefully and +locked them into the box under his bed lest some other fellow should +admire and desire them to his loss. But with the letter he walked away +into the woods as far as the bounds of the camp would allow and read and +reread it, rising at last from it as one refreshed from a comforting meal +after long fasting. It was on the way back to his barracks that night, +walking slowly under the starlight, not desiring to be back until the +last minute before night taps because he did not wish to break the +wonderful evening he had spent with her, that he resolved to try to get +leave the next Saturday and go home to thank her. + +Back in the barracks with the others he fairly scintillated with wit and +kept his comrades in roars of laughter until the officer of the night +suppressed them summarily. But long after the others were asleep he lay +thinking of her, and listening to the singing of his soul as he watched a +star that twinkled with a friendly gleam through a crack in the roof +above his cot. Once again there came the thought of God, and a feeling of +gratitude for this lovely friendship in his life. If he knew where God +was he would like to thank Him. Lying so and looking up to the star he +breathed from his heart a wordless thanksgiving. + +The next night he wrote and told her he was coming, and asked permission +to call and thank her face to face. Then he fairly haunted the post +office at mail time the rest of the week hoping for an answer. He had not +written his mother about his coming, for he meant not to go this week if +there came no word from Ruth. Besides, it would be nice to surprise his +mother. Then there was some doubt about his getting a pass anyway, and so +between the two anxieties he was kept busy up to the last minute. But +Friday evening he got his pass, and in the last mail came a special +delivery from Ruth, just a brief note saying she had been away from home +when his letter arrived, but she would be delighted to see him on Sunday +afternoon as he had suggested. + +He felt like a boy let loose from school as he brushed up his uniform and +polished his big army shoes while his less fortunate companions kidded +him about the girl he was going to see. He denied their thrusts joyously, +in his heart repudiating any such personalities, yet somehow it was +pleasant. He had never realized how pleasant it would be to have a girl +and be going to see her--such a girl! Of course, she was not for him--not +with that possessiveness. But she was a friend, a real friend, and he +would not let anything spoil the pleasure of that! + +He had not thought anything in his army experience could be so exciting +as that first ride back home again. Somehow the deference paid to his +uniform got into his blood and made him feel that people all along the +line really did care for what the boys were doing for them. It made camp +life and hardships seem less dreary. + +It was great to get back to his little mother and put his big arms around +her again. She seemed so small. Had she shrunken since he left her or was +he grown so much huskier with the out of door life? Both, perhaps, and he +looked at her sorrowfully. She was so little and quiet and brave to bear +life all alone. If he only could get back and get to succeeding in life +so that he might make some brightness for her. She had borne so much, and +she ought not to have looked so old and worn at her age! For a brief +instant again his heart was almost bitter, and he wondered what God meant +by giving his good little mother so much trouble. Was there a God when +such things could be? He resolved to do something about finding out this +very day. + +It was pleasant to help his mother about the kitchen, saving her as she +had not been saved since he left, telling her about the camp, and +listening to her tearful admiration of him. She could scarcely take her +eyes from him, he seemed so tall and big and handsome in his uniform; he +appeared so much older and more manly that her heart yearned for her boy +who seemed to be slipping away from her. It was so heavenly blessed to +sit down beside him and sew on a button and mend a torn spot in his +flannel shirt and have him pat her shoulder now and then contentedly. + +Then with pride she sent him down to the store for something nice for +dinner, and watched him through the window with a smile, the tears +running down her cheeks. How tall and straight he walked! How like his +father when she first knew him! She hoped the neighbors all were looking +out and would see him. Her boy! Her soldier boy! And he must go away from +her, perhaps to die! + +But--_he was here to-day_! She would not think of the rest. She would +rejoice now in his presence. + +He walked briskly down the street past the houses that had been familiar +all his life, meeting people who had never been wont to notice him +before; and they smiled upon him from afar now; greeted him with +enthusiasm, and turned to look after him as he passed on. It gave him a +curious feeling to have so much attention from people who had never known +him before. It made him feel strangely small, yet filled with a great +pride and patriotism for the country that was his, and the government +which he now represented to them all. He was something more to them now +than just one of the boys about town who had grown up among them. He was +a soldier of the United States. He had given his life for the cause of +righteousness. The bitterness he might have felt at their former ignoring +of him, was all swallowed up in their genuine and hearty friendliness. + +He met the white-haired minister, kindly and dignified, who paused to ask +him how he liked camp life and to commend him as a soldier; and looking +in his strong gentle face John Cameron remembered his resolve. + +He flashed a keen look at the gracious countenance and made up his mind +to speak: + +"I'd like to ask you a question, Doctor Thurlow. It's been bothering me +quite a little ever since this matter of going away to fight has been in +my mind. Is there any way that a man--that _I_ can find God? That is, if +there is a God. I've never thought much about it before, but life down +there in camp makes a lot of things seem different, and I've been +wondering. I'm not sure what I believe. Is there anyway I can find out?" + +A pleasant gleam of surprise and delight thrilled into the deep blue eyes +of the minister. It was startling. It almost embarrassed him for a +moment, it was so unexpected to have a soldier ask a question about God. +It was almost mortifying that he had never thought it worth while to take +the initiative on that question with the young man. + +"Why, certainly!" he said heartily. "Of course, of course. I'm very glad +to know you are interested in those things. Couldn't you come in to my +study and talk with me. I think I could help you. I'm sure I could." + +"I haven't much time," said Cameron shyly, half ashamed now that he had +opened his heart to an almost stranger. He was not even his mother's +minister, and he was a comparative newcomer in the town. How had he come +to speak to him so impulsively? + +"I understand, exactly, of course," said the minister with growing +eagerness. "Could you come in now for five or ten minutes? I'll turn back +with you and you can stop on your way, or we can talk as we go. Were you +thinking of uniting with the church? We have our communion the first +Sunday of next month. I should be very glad if you could arrange. We have +a number of young people coming in now. I'd like to see you come with +them. The church is a good safe place to be. It was established by God. +It is a school in which to learn of Him. It is----" + +"But I'm not what you would call a Christian!" protested Cameron. "I +don't even know that I believe in the Bible. I don't know what your +church believes. I don't have a very definite idea what any church +believes. I would be a hypocrite to stand up and join a church when I +wasn't sure there was a God." + +"My dear young fellow!" said the minister affectionately. "Not at all! +Not at all! The church is the place for young people to come when they +have doubts. It is a shelter, and a growing place. Just trust yourself to +God and come in among His people and your doubts will vanish. Don't worry +about doubts. Many people have doubts. Just let them alone and put +yourself in the right way and you will forget them. I should be glad to +talk with you further. I would like to see you come into communion with +God's people. If you want to find God you should come where He has +promised to be. It is a great thing to have a fine young fellow like you, +and a soldier, array himself on the side of God. I would like to see you +stand up on the right side before you go out to meet danger and perhaps +death." + +John Cameron stood watching him as he talked. + +"He's a good old guy," he thought gravely, "but he doesn't get my point. +He evidently believes what he says, but I don't just see going +blindfolded into a church. However, there's something to what he says +about going where God is if I want to find him." + +Out loud he merely said: + +"I'll think about it, Doctor, and perhaps come in to see you the next +time I'm home." Then he excused himself and went on to the store. + +As he walked away he said to himself: + +"I wonder what Ruth Macdonald would say if I asked her the same question? +I wonder if she has thought anything about it? I wonder if I'd ever have +the nerve to ask her?" + +The next morning he suggested to his mother that they go to Doctor +Thurlow's church together. She would have very much preferred going to +her own church with him, but she knew that he did not care for the +minister and had never been very friendly with the people, so she put +aside her secret wish and went with him. To tell the truth she was very +proud to go anywhere with her handsome soldier son, and one thing that +made her the more willing was that she remembered that the Macdonalds +always went to the Presbyterian church, and perhaps they would be there +to-day and Ruth would see them. But she said not a word of this to her +boy. + +John spent most of the time with his mother. He went up to college for an +hour or so Saturday evening, dropping in on his fraternity for a few +minutes and realizing what true friends he had among the fellows who were +left, though most of them were gone. He walked about the familiar rooms, +looking at the new pictures, photographs of his friends in uniform. This +one was a lieutenant in Officers' Training Camp. That one had gone with +the Ambulance Corps. Tom was with the Engineers, and Jimmie and Sam had +joined the Tank Service. Two of the fellows were in France in the front +ranks, another had enlisted in the Marines, it seemed that hardly any +were left, and of those three had been turned down for some slight +physical defect, and were working in munition factories and the +ship-yard. Everything was changed. The old playmates had become men with +earnest purposes. He did not stay long. There was a restlessness about it +all that pulled the strings of his heart, and made him realize how +different everything was. + +Sunday morning as he walked to church with his mother he wondered why he +had never gone more with her when he was at home. It seemed a pleasant +thing to do. + +The service was beautifully solemn, and Doctor Thurlow had many gracious +words to say of the boys in the army, and spent much time reading letters +from those at the front who belonged to the church and Sunday school, and +spoke of the "supreme sacrifice" in the light of a saving grace; but the +sermon was a gentle ponderous thing that got nowhere, spiced toward its +close with thrilling scenes from battle news. John Cameron as he listened +did not feel that he had found God. He did not feel a bit enlightened by +it. He laid it to his own ignorance and stupidity, though, and determined +not to give up the search. The prayer at the close of the sermon somehow +clinched this resolve because there was something so genuine and sweet +and earnest about it. He could not help thinking that the man might know +more of God than he was able to make plain to his hearers. He had really +never noticed either a prayer or a sermon before in his life. He had sat +in the room with very few. He wondered if all sermons and prayers were +like these and wished he had noticed them. He had never been much of a +church goer. + +But the climax, the real heart of his whole two days, was after Sunday +dinner when he went out to call upon Ruth Macdonald. And it was +characteristic of his whole reticent nature, and the way he had been +brought up, that he did not tell his mother where he was going. It had +never occurred to him to tell her his movements when they did not +directly concern her, and she had never brought herself up to ask him. It +is the habit of some women, and many mothers. + +A great embarrassment fell upon him as he entered the grounds of the +Macdonald place, and when he stood before the plate-glass doors waiting +for an answer to his ring he would have turned and fled if he had not +promised to come. + +It was perhaps not an accident that Ruth let him in herself and took him +to a big quiet library with wide-open windows overlooking the lawn, and +heavy curtains shutting them in from the rest of the house, where, to his +great amazement, he could feel at once at ease with her and talk to her +just as he had done in her letters and his own. + +Somehow it was like having a lifetime dream suddenly fulfilled to be +sitting this way in pleasant converse with her, watching the lights and +shadows of expression flit across her sensitive face, and knowing that +the light in her eyes was for him. It seemed incredible, but she +evidently enjoyed talking to him. Afterwards he thought about it as if +their souls had been calling to one another across infinite space, things +that neither of them could quite hear, and now they were within hailing +distance. + +He had thanked her for the sweater and other things, and they had talked +a little about the old school days and how life changed people, when he +happened to glance out of the window near him and saw a man in officer's +uniform approaching. He stopped short in the midst of a sentence and +rose, his face set, his eyes still on the rapidly approaching soldiers: + +"I'm sorry," he said, "I shall have to go. It's been wonderful to come, +but I must go at once. Perhaps you'll let me go out this way. It is a +shorter cut. Thank you for everything, and perhaps if there's ever +another time--I'd like to come again----" + +"Oh, please don't go yet!" she said putting out her hand in protest. But +he grasped the hand with a quick impulsive grip and with a hasty: "I'm +sorry, but I must!" he opened the glass door to the side piazza and was +gone. + +In much bewilderment and distress Ruth watched him stride away toward the +hedge and disappear. Then she turned to the front window and caught a +glimpse of Lieutenant Wainwright just mounting the front steps. What did +it all mean? + + + + +IX + + +Ruth tried to control her perturbation and meet her guest with an +unruffled countenance, but there was something about the bland smug +countenance of Lieutenant Wainwright that irritated her. To have her +first pleasant visit with Cameron suddenly broken up in this mysterious +fashion, and Wainwright substituted for Cameron was somehow like taking a +bite of some pleasant fruit and having it turn out plain potato in one's +mouth. It was so sudden, like that. She could not seem to get her +equilibrium. Her mind was in a whirl of question and she could not focus +it on her present caller nor think of anything suitable to say to him. +She was not even sure but that he was noticing that she was distraught. + +To have John Cameron leave in that precipitate manner at the sight of +Harry Wainwright! It was all too evident that he had seen him through the +window. But they were fellow townsmen, and had gone to school together! +Surely he knew him! Of course, Harry was a superior officer, but Cameron +would not be the kind of man to mind that. She could not understand it. +There had been a look in his face--a set look! There must be something +behind it all. Some reason why he did not want to be seen by Wainwright. +Surely Cameron had nothing of which to be ashamed! The thought brought a +sudden dismay. What did she know about Cameron after all? A look, a +smile, a bit of boyish gallantry. He might be anything but fine in his +private life, of course, and Harry might be cognizant of the fact. Yet he +did not look like that. Even while the thought forced itself into her +mind she resented it and resisted it. Then turning to her guest who was +giving an elaborate account of how he had saved a woman's life in an +automobile accident, she interrupted him: + +"Harry, what do you know about John Cameron?" she asked impulsively. + +Wainwright's face darkened with an ugly frown. + +"More than I want to know," he answered gruffly. "He's rotten! That's +all! Why?" He eyed her suspiciously. + +There was something in his tone that put her on the defensive at once: + +"Oh, I saw him to-day, and I was wondering," she answered evasively. + +"It's one of the annoyances of army life that we have to be herded up +with all sorts of cattle!" said Wainwright with a disdainful curl of his +baby mustache. "But I didn't come here to talk about John Cameron. I came +to tell you that I'm going to be married, Ruth. I'm going to be married +before I go to France!" + +"Delightful!" said Ruth pleasantly. "Do I know the lady?" + +"Indeed you do," he said watching her with satisfaction. "You've known, +for several years that you were the only one for me, and I've come to +tell you that I won't stand any more dallying. I mean business now!" + +He crossed his fat leather puttees creakily and swelled out, trying to +look firm. He had decided that he must impress her with the seriousness +of the occasion. + +But Ruth only laughed merrily. He had been proposing to her ever since he +got out of short trousers, and she had always laughed him out of it. The +first time she told him that she was only a kid and he wasn't much more +himself, and she didn't want to hear any more such talk. Of late he had +grown less troublesome, and she had been inclined to settle down to the +old neighborly playmate relation, so she was not greatly disturbed by the +turn of the conversation. In fact, she was too much upset and annoyed by +the sudden departure of Cameron to realize the determined note in +Wainwright's voice. + +"I mean it!" he said in an offended tone, flattening his double chin and +rolling out his fat lips importantly. "I'm not to be played with any +longer." + +Ruth's face sobered: + +"I certainly never had an idea of playing with you, Harry. I think I've +always been quite frank with you." + +Wainwright felt that he wasn't getting on quite as well as he had +planned. He frowned and sat up: + +"Now see here, Ruth! Let's talk this thing over!" he said, drawing the +big leather chair in which he was sitting nearer to hers. + +But Ruth's glance had wandered out of the window. "Why, there comes +Bobbie Wetherill!" she exclaimed eagerly and slipped out of her chair to +the door just as one of Wainwright's smooth fat hands reached out to take +hold of the arm of her rocker. "I'll open the door for him. Mary is in +the kitchen and may not hear the bell right away." + +There was nothing for Wainwright to do but make the best of the +situation, although he greeted Wetherill with no very good grace, and his +large lips pouted out sulkily as he relaxed into his chair again to await +the departure of the intruder. + +Lieutenant Wetherill was quite overwhelmed with the warmth of the +greeting he received from Ruth and settled down to enjoy it while it +lasted. With a wicked glance of triumph at his rival he laid himself out +to make his account of camp life as entertaining as possible. He produced +a gorgeous box of bonbons and arranged himself comfortably for the +afternoon, while Wainwright's brow grew darker and his lips pouted out +farther and farther under his petted little moustache. It was all a great +bore to Ruth just now with her mind full of the annoyance about Cameron. +At least she would have preferred to have had her talk with him and found +out what he was with her own judgment. But anything was better than, a +_tete-a-tete_ with Wainwright just now; so she ate bonbons and asked +questions, and kept the conversation going, ignoring Wainwright's +increasing grouch. + +It was a great relief, however, when about half-past four the maid +appeared at the door: + +"A long distance telephone call for you, Miss Ruth." + +As Ruth was going up the stairs to her own private 'phone she paused to +fasten the tie of her low shoe that had come undone and was threatening +to trip her, and she heard Harry Wainwright's voice in an angry snarl: + +"What business did you have coming here to-day, you darned chump! You +knew what I came for, and you did it on purpose! If you don't get out the +minute she gets back I'll put her wise to you and the kind of girls you +go with in no time. And you needn't think you can turn the tables on me, +either, for I'll fix you so you won't dare open your fool mouth!" + +The sentence finished with an oath and Ruth hurried into her room and +shut the door with a sick kind of feeling that her whole little world was +turning black about her. + +It was good to hear the voice of her cousin, Captain La Rue, over the +'phone, even though it was but a message that he could not come as he had +promised that evening. It reassured her that there were good men in the +world. Of course, he was older, but she was sure he had never been what +people called "wild," although he had plenty of courage and spirit. She +had often heard that good men were few, but it had never seemed to apply +to her world but vaguely. Now here of a sudden a slur had been thrown at +three of her young world. John Cameron, it is true, was a comparative +stranger, and, of course, she had no means of judging except by the look +in his eyes. She understood in a general way that "rotten" as applied to +a young man's character implied uncleanness. John Cameron's eyes were +steady and clear. They did not look that way. But then, how could she +tell? And here, this very minute she had been hearing that Bobbie +Wetherill's life was not all that it should be and Wainwright had tacitly +accepted the possibility of the same weakness in himself. These were boys +with whom she had been brought up. Selfish and conceited she had often +thought them on occasion, but it had not occurred to her that there might +be anything worse. She pressed her hands to her eyes and tried to force a +calm steadiness into her soul. Somehow she had an utter distaste for +going back into that library and hearing their boastful chatter. Yet she +must go. She had been hoping all the afternoon for her cousin's arrival +to send the other two away. Now that was out of the question and she must +use her own tact to get pleasantly rid of them. With a sigh she opened +her door and started down stairs again. + +It was Wainwright's blatant voice again that broke through the Sabbath +afternoon stillness of the house as she approached the library door: + +"Yes, I've got John Cameron all right now!" he laughed. "He won't hold +his head so high after he's spent a few days in the guard-house. And +that's what they're all going to get that are late coming back this time. +I found out before I left camp that his pass only reads till eleven +o'clock and the five o'clock train is the last one he can leave Chester +on to get him to camp by eleven. So I hired a fellow that was coming up +to buddy-up to Cam and fix it that he is to get a friend of his to take +them over to Chester in time for the train. The fellow don't have to get +back himself to-night at all, but he isn't going to let on, you know, so +Cam will think they're in the same boat. Then they're going to have a +little bit of tire trouble, down in that lonely bit of rough road, that +short cut between here and Chester, where there aren't any cars passing +to help them out, and they'll miss the train at Chester. See? And then +the man will offer to take them on to camp in his car and they'll get +stuck again down beyond Wilmington, lose the road, and switch off toward +Singleton--you know, where we took those girls to that little +out-of-the-way tavern that time--and you see Cam getting back to camp in +time, don't you?" + +Ruth had paused with her hand on the heavy portiere, wide-eyed. + +"But Cameron'll find a way out. He's too sharp. He'll start to walk, or +he'll get some passing car to take him," said Wetherill with conviction. + +"No, he won't. The fellows are all primed. They're going to catch him in +spots where cars don't go, where the road is bad, you know, and nobody +but a fool would go with a car. He won't be noticing before they break +down because this fellow told him his man could drive a car over the moon +and never break down. Besides, I know my men. They'll get away with the +job. There's too much money in it for them to run any risk of losing out. +It's all going to happen so quick he won't be ready for anything." + +"Well, you'll have your trouble for your pains. Cam'll explain everything +to the officers and he'll get by. He always does." + +"Not this time. They've just made a rule that no excuses go. There've +been a lot of fellows coming back late drunk. And you see that's how we +mean to wind up. They are going to get him drunk, and then we'll see if +little Johnnie will go around with his nose in the air any longer! I'm +going to run down to the tavern late this evening to see the fun my +self!" + +"You can't do it! Cam won't drink! It's been tried again and again. He'd +rather die!" + +But the girl at the door had fled to her room on velvet shod feet and +closed her door, her face white with horror, her lips set with purpose, +her heart beating wildly. She must put a stop somehow to this diabolical +plot against him. Whether he was worthy or not they should not do this +thing to him! She rang for the maid and began putting on her hat and coat +and flinging a few things into a small bag. She glanced at her watch. It +was a quarter to five. Could she make it? If she only knew which way he +had gone! Would his mother have a telephone? Her eyes scanned the C +column hurriedly. Yes, there it was. She might have known he would not +allow her to be alone without a telephone. + +The maid appeared at the door. + +"Mary," she said, trying to speak calmly, "tell Thomas to have the gray +car ready at once. He needn't bring it to the house, I will come out the +back way. Please take this bag and two long coats out, and when I am gone +go to the library and ask the two gentlemen there to excuse me. Say that +I am suddenly called away to a friend in trouble. If Aunt Rhoda returns +soon tell her I will call her up later and let her know my plans. That is +all. I will be down in two or three minutes and I wish to start without +delay!" + +Mary departed on her errand and Ruth went to the telephone and called up +the Cameron number. + +The sadness of the answering voice struck her even in her haste. Her own +tone was eager, intimate, as she hastened to convey her message. + +"Mrs. Cameron, this is Ruth Macdonald. Has your son left yet? I was +wondering if he would care to be taken to the train in our car?" + +"Oh! he has _just gone_!" came a pitiful little gasp that had a sob at +the end of it. "He went in somebody's car and they were late coming. I'm +afraid he is going to miss his train and he has got to get it or he will +be in trouble! That is the last train that connects with Wilmington." + +Ruth's heart leaped to her opportunity. + +"Suppose we try to catch him then," proposed Ruth gleefully. "My car can +go pretty fast, and if he has missed the train perhaps we can carry him +on to Wilmington. Would you like to try?" + +"Oh, could we?" the voice throbbed with eagerness. + +"Hurry up then. My car is all ready. I'll be down there in three minutes. +We've no time to waste. Put on something warm!" + +She hung up the receiver without waiting for further reply, and hurried +softly out of the room and down the back stairs. + +Thomas was well trained. The cars were always in order. He was used to +Ruth's hurry calls, and when she reached the garage she found the car +standing in the back street waiting for her. In a moment more she was +rushing on her way toward the village without having aroused the +suspicion of the two men who so impatiently awaited her return. Mrs. +Cameron was ready, eager as a child, standing on the sidewalk with a +great blanket shawl over her arm and looking up the street for her. + +It was not until they had swept through the village, over the bridge, and +were out on the broad highway toward Chester that Ruth began to realize +what a wild goose chase she had undertaken. Just where did she expect to +find them, anyway? It was now three minutes to five by the little clock +in the car and it was a full fifteen minutes' drive to Chester. The plan +had been to delay him on the way to the train, and there had been mention +of a short cut. Could that be the rough stony road that turned down +sharply just beyond the stone quarry? It seemed hardly possible that +anybody would attempt to run a car over that road. Surely John Cameron +knew the roads about here well enough to advise against it. Still, Ruth +knew the locality like a book and that was the only short cut thereabout. +If they had gone down there they might emerge at the other end just in +time to miss the train, and then start on toward Wilmington. Or they +might turn back and take the longer way if they found the short road +utterly impassable. Which should she take? Should she dare that rocky +way? If only there might be some tracks to guide her. But the road was +hard and dusty and told no tales of recent travelers. They skimmed down +the grade past the stone quarry, and the short cut flashed into view, +rough and hilly, turning sharply away behind a group of spruce trees. It +was thick woods beyond. If she went that way and got into any trouble +with her machine the chances were few that anyone would some along to +help. She had but a moment to decide, and something told her that the +long way was the safe one and shorter in the end. She swept on, her +engine throbbing with that pleasant purr of expensive well-groomed +machinery, the car leaping forward as if it delighted in the high speed. +The little woman by her side sat breathless and eager, with shining eyes, +looking ahead for her boy. + +They passed car after car, and Ruth scanned the occupants keenly. Some +were filled with soldiers, but John Cameron was not among them. She began +to be afraid that perhaps she ought after all to have gone down that +hilly way and made sure they were not there. She was not quite sure where +that short road came out. If she knew she might run up a little way from +this further end. + +The two women sat almost silent, straining their eyes ahead. They had +said hardly a word since the first greeting. Each seemed to understand +the thought of the other without words. For the present they had but one +common object, to find John Cameron. + +Suddenly, as far ahead as they could see, a car darted out of the wooded +roadside, swung into their road and plunged ahead at a tremendous rate. +They had a glimpse of khaki uniforms, but it was much too far away to +distinguish faces or forms. Nevertheless, both women fastened their eyes +upon it with but one thought. Ruth put on more speed and forged ahead, +thankful that she was not within city lines yet, and that there was no +one about to remind her of the speed limit. Something told her that the +man she was seeking was in that car ahead. + +It was a thrilling race. Ruth said no word, but she knew that her +companion was aware that she was chasing that car. Mrs. Cameron sat +straight and tense as if it had been a race of life and death, her cheeks +glowing and her eyes shining. Ruth was grateful that she did not talk. +Some women would have talked incessantly. + +The other car did not go in to Chester proper at all, but veered away +into a branch road and Ruth followed, leaping over the road as if it had +been a gray velvet ribbon. She did not seem to be gaining on the car; but +it was encouraging that they could keep it still in sight. Then there +came a sharp turn of the road and it was gone. They were pulsing along +now at a tremendous rate. The girl had cast caution to the winds. She was +hearing the complacent sneer of Harry Wainwright as he boasted how they +would get John Cameron into trouble, and all the force of her strong +young will was enlisted to frustrate his plans. + +It was growing dusk, and lights leaped out on the munition factories all +about them. Along the river other lights flashed and flickered in the +white mist that rose like a wreath. But Ruth saw nothing of it all. She +was straining her eyes for the little black speck of a car which she had +been following and which now seemed to be swallowed up by the evening. +She had not relaxed her speed, and the miles were whirling by, and she +had a growing consciousness that she might be passing the object of her +chase at any minute without knowing it. Presently they came to a junction +of three roads, and she paused. On ahead the road was broad and empty +save for a car coming towards them. Off to the right was a desolate way +leading to a little cemetery. Down to the left a smooth wooded road wound +into the darkness. There were sign boards up. Ruth leaned out and flashed +a pocket torch on the board. "TO PINE TREE INN, 7 Miles" it read. Did she +fancy it or was it really true that she could hear the distant sound of a +car among the pines? + +"I'm going down this way!" she said decidedly to her companion, as if her +action needed an explanation, and she turned her car into the new road. + +"But it's too late now," said Mrs. Cameron wistfully. "The train will be +gone, of course, even from Wilmington. And you ought to be going home. +I'm very wrong to have let you come so far; and it's getting dark. Your +folks will be worrying about you. That man will likely do his best to get +him to camp in time." + +"No," said Ruth decidedly, "there's no one at home to worry just now, and +I often go about alone rather late. Besides, aren't we having a good +time? We're going a little further anyway before we give up." + +She began to wonder in her heart if she ought not to have told somebody +else and taken Thomas along to help. It was rather a questionable thing +for her to do, in the dusk of the evening--to women all alone. But then, +she had Mrs. Cameron along and that made it perfectly respectable. But if +she failed now, what else could she do? Her blood boiled hotly at the +thought of letting Harry Wainwright succeed in his miserable plot. Oh, +for cousin La Rue! He would have thought a way out of this. If everything +else failed she would tell the whole story to Captain La Rue and beg him +to exonerate John Cameron. But that, of course, she knew would be hard to +do, there was so much red tape in the army, and there were so many +unwritten laws that could not be set aside just for private individuals. +Still, there must be a way if she had to go herself to someone and tell +what she had overheard. She set her pretty lips firmly and rode on at a +brisk pace down the dark road, switching on her head lights to seem the +way here in the woods. And then suddenly, just in time she jerked on the +brake and came to a jarring stop, for ahead of her a big car was sprawled +across the road, and there, rising hurriedly from a kneeling posture +before the engine, in the full blaze of her headlights, blinking and +frowning with anxiety, stood John Cameron! + + + + +X + + +The end of her chase came so unexpectedly that her wits were completely +scattered. Now that she was face to face with the tall soldier she had +nothing to say for her presence there. What would he think of her? How +could she explain her coming? She had undertaken the whole thing in such +haste that she had not planned ahead. Now she knew that from the start +she had understood that she must not explain how she came to be possessed +of any information concerning him. She felt a kind of responsible shame +for her old playmate Harry Wainright, and a certain loyalty toward her +own social set that prevented her from that, the only possible +explanation that could make her coming justifiable. So, now in the brief +interval before he had recognized them she must stage the next act, and +she found herself unable to speak, her throat dry, her lips for the +instant paralyzed. It was the jubilant little mother that stepped into +the crisis and did the most natural thing in the world: + +"John! Oh John! It's really you! We've caught you!" she cried, and the +troubled young soldier peering into the dusk to discover if here was a +vehicle he might presume to commandeer to help him out of his predicament +lifted startled eyes to the two faces in the car and strode forward, +abandoning with a clang the wrench with which he had been working on the +car. + +"Mother!" he said, a shade of deep anxiety in his voice. "What is the +matter? How came you to be here?" + +"Why, I came after you," she said laughing like a girl. "We're going to +see that you get to camp in time. We've made pretty good time so far. +Jump in quick and we'll tell you the rest on the way. We mustn't waste +time." + +Cameron's startled gaze turned on Ruth now, and a great wonder and +delight sprang up in his eyes. It was like the day when he went away on +the train, only more so, and it brought a rich flush into Ruth's cheeks. +As she felt the hot waves she was glad that she was sitting behind the +light. + +"What! You?" he breathed wonderingly. "But this is too much! And after +the way I treated you!" + +His mother looked wonderingly from one to the other: + +"Get in, John, quick. We mustn't lose a minute. Something might delay us +later." It was plain she was deeply impressed with the necessity for the +soldier not to be found wanting. + +"Yes, please get in quickly, and let us start. Then we can talk!" said +Ruth, casting an anxious glance toward the other car. + +His hand went out to the door to open it, the wonder still shining in his +face, when a low murmur like a growl went up behind him. + +Ruth looked up, and there in the full glare of the lights stood two burly +civilians and a big soldier: + +"Oh, I say!" drawled the soldier in no very pleasant tone, "you're not +going to desert us that way! Not after Pass came out of his way for us! I +didn't think you had a yellow streak!" + +Cameron paused and a troubled look came into his face. He glanced at the +empty back seat with a repression of his disappointment in the necessity. + +"There's another fellow here that has to get back at the same time I do," +he said looking at Ruth hesitatingly. + +"Certainly. Ask him, of course." Ruth's voice was hearty and put the +whole car at his disposal. + +"There's room for you, too, Chalmers," he said with relief. "And Passmore +will be glad to get rid of us I suspect. He'll be able to get home soon. +There isn't much the matter with that engine. If you do what I told you +to that carburetor you'll find it will go all right. Come on, Chalmers. +We ought to hurry!" + +"No thanks! I stick to my friends!" said the soldier shortly. + +"As you please!" said Cameron stepping on the running board. + +"Not as _you_ please!" said a gruff voice, "I'm running this party and we +all go together? See?" A heavy hand came down upon Cameron's shoulder +with a mighty grip. + +Cameron landed a smashing blow under the man's chin which sent him +reeling and sprang inside as Ruth threw in the clutch and sent her car +leaping forward. The two men in front were taken by surprise and barely +got out of the way in time, but instantly recovered their senses and +sprang after the car, the one nearest her reaching for the wheel. +Cameron, leaning forward, sent him rolling down the gully, and Ruth +turned the car sharply to avoid the other car which was occupying as much +of the road as possible, and left the third man scrambling to his knees +behind her. It was taking a big chance to dash past that car in the +narrow space over rough ground, but Ruth was not conscious of anything +but the necessity of getting away. In an instant they were back in the +road and flashing along through the dark. + +"Mother, you better let me help you back here," said her son leaning +forward and almost lifting his mother into the back seat, then stepping +over to take her place beside Ruth. + +"Better turn out your back lights!" he said in a quiet, steady voice. +"They might follow, you know. They're in an ugly mood. They've been +drinking." + +"Then the car isn't really out of commission?" + +"Not seriously." + +"We're not on the right road, did you know? This road goes to The Pine +Tree Inn and Singleton!" + +Cameron gave a low exclamation: + +"Then they're headed for more liquor. I thought something was up." + +"Is there a cross road back to the Pike?" + +"I'm not sure. Probably. I know there is about three miles farther on, +almost to the Inn. This is an awful mess to have got you into! I'd rather +have been in the guard house than have this happen to you!" + +"Please don't!" said Ruth earnestly. "It's an adventure! I'm enjoying it. +I'm not a doll to be kept in cotton wool!" + +"I should say not!" said Cameron with deep admiration in his tone. "You +haven't shown yourself much of a doll to-night. Some doll, to run a car +the way you did in the face of all that. I'll tell you better what I +think when we get out of this!" + +"They are coming, I believe!" said Ruth glancing back. "Don't you see a +light? Look!" + +Mrs. Cameron was looking, too, through the little back window. Now she +spoke quietly: + +"Wouldn't it be better to get out and slip up in the woods till they have +gone by?" + +"No, mother!" said Cameron quickly, "just you sit quiet where you are and +trust us." + +"Something awful might happen, John!" + +"No, mother! Don't you worry!" he said in his gentle, manly tone. Then to +Ruth: "There's a big barn ahead there on your left. Keep your eye out for +a road around behind it. If we could disappear it's too dark for them to +know where we are. Would you care to turn out all the lights and let me +run the car? I don't want to boast but there isn't much of anything I +can't do with a car when I have to." + +Instantly Ruth switched out every light and with a relieved "Please!" +gave up the wheel to him. They made the change swiftly and silently, and +Ruth took the post of lookout. + +"Yes, I can see two lights. It might be someone else, mightn't it?" + +"Not likely, on this road. But we're not taking any chances," and with +that the car bumped down across a gully and lurched up to a grassy +approach to a big stone barn that loomed above them, then slid down +another bank and passed close to a great haystack, whose clutching straw +fingers reached out to brush their faces, and so swept softly around to +the rear of the barn and stopped. Cameron shut off the engine instantly +and they sat in utter silence listening to the oncoming car. + +"It's they, all right!" whispered Cameron softly. "That's Passmore's +voice. He converses almost wholly in choice profanity." + +His mother's hand stole out to touch his shoulder and he reached around +and held it close. + +"Don't tremble, mother, we're all safe!" he whispered in a tone so tender +that Ruth felt a shiver of pleasure pass over her for the mother who had +such a son. Also there was the instant thought that a man could not be +wholly "rotten" when he could speak to his mother in that tone. + +There was a breathless space when the car paused on the road not far away +and their pursuers stood up and looked around, shouting to one another. +There was no mistaking their identity now. Ruth shivered visibly. One of +them got out of the car and came toward the barn. They could hear him +stepping over the stony roadside. Cameron laid a quiet hand of reassuring +protection on her arm that steadied her and made her feel wonderfully +safe once more, and strange to say she found herself lifting up another +queer little kind of a prayer. It had never been her habit to pray much +except in form. Her heart had seldom needed anything that money could not +supply. + +The man had stumbled across the gully and up toward the barn. They could +hear him swearing at the unevenness of the ground, and Ruth held her +breath and prayed again. A moment more and he was fumbling about for the +barn door and calling for a flash light. Then, like the distant sound of +a mighty angel of deliverance came the rumble of a car in the distance. +The men heard it and took it for their quarry on ahead. They climbed into +their car again and were gone like a flash. + +John Cameron did not wait for them to get far away. He set the car in +motion as soon as they were out of sight, and its expensive mechanism +obeyed his direction almost silently as he guided it around the barn, +behind the haystack and back again into the road over which they had just +come. + +"Now!" he said as he put the car to its best speed and switched on its +headlights again. "Now we can beat them to it, I guess, if they come back +this way, which I don't think they will." + +The car dashed over the ground and the three sat silent while they passed +into the woods and over the place where they had first met Cameron. Ruth +felt herself trembling again, and her teeth beginning to chatter from the +strain. Cameron seemed to realize her feeling and turned toward her: + +"You've been wonderful!" he said flashing a warm look at her, "and you, +too, mother!" lifting his voice a little and turning his head toward the +back seat. "I don't believe any other two women in Bryne Haven could have +gone through a scene like that and kept absolutely still. You were +great!" There was that in his voice that lifted Ruth's heart more than +any praise she had ever received for anything. She wanted to make some +acknowledgment, but she found to her surprise that tears were choking her +throat so that she could not speak. It was the excitement, of course, she +told herself, and struggled to get control of her emotion. + +They emerged from the woods and in sight of the Pike at last, and Cameron +drew a long breath of relief. + +"There, I guess we can hold our own with anyone, now," he said settling +back in his seat, but relaxing none of his vigilance toward the car which +sped along the highway like a winged thing. "But it's time I heard how +you came to be here. I haven't been able to explain it, during the +intervals when I've had any chance at all to think about it." + +"Oh, I just called up your mother to know if it would help you any to be +taken to your train," said Ruth quickly, "and she mentioned that she was +worried lest you would miss it; so I suggested that we try to catch you +and take you on to Wilmington or Baltimore or wherever you have to go. I +do hope this delay hasn't spoiled it all. How long does it take to go +from Baltimore to camp. I've taken the Baltimore trip myself in five +hours. It's only quarter past six yet, do you think we can make it?" + +"But you can't go all the way to Baltimore!" he exclaimed. "What would +you and mother do at that time of night alone after I go to camp? You +see, it isn't as if I could stay and come back with you." + +"Oh, we'll just go to a hotel in Baltimore, won't we, Mrs. Cameron? We'll +be all right if we only get you safe to camp. Do you think we can do it?" + +"Oh, yes, we can do it all right with this car. But I'm quite sure I +ought not to let you do it just for me. What will your people think?" + +"I've left word that I've gone to a friend in trouble," twinkled Ruth. +"I'll call them up when I get to Baltimore, and make it all right with +Auntie. She will trust me." + +Cameron turned and looked at her wonderingly, reverently. + +"It's wonderful that you should do this for me," he said in a low tone, +quite low, so that the watching wistful mother could not even guess what +he was saying. + +"It's not in the least wonderful," said Ruth brightly. "Remember the +hedge and Chuck Woodcock!" She was beginning to get her self possession +again. + +"You are paying that old score back in compound interest," said Cameron. + +That was a wonderful ride rushing along beneath the stars, going back to +childhood's days and getting acquainted again where they left off. Ruth +forgot all about the cause of her wild chase, and the two young men she +had left disconsolate in her library at home; forgot her own world in +this new beautiful one, wherein her spirit really communed with another +spirit; forgot utterly what Wainwright had said about Cameron as more and +more through their talk she came to see the fineness of his character. + +They flashed on from one little village to another, leaving one +clustering glimmer of lights in the distance only to pass to other +clustering groups. It was in their favor that there were not many other +travellers to dispute their way, and they were hindered very little. +Cameron had made the trip many times and knew the roads well. They did +not have to hesitate and enquire the way. They made good time. The clocks +were striking ten when they reached the outskirts of Baltimore. + +"Now," said Ruth in a sweetly imperious tone, consulting her timepiece to +be sure she had counted the clock strokes correctly, "do you know what +you are going to do, Mr. Corporal? You are going to land your mother and +me at the nearest hotel, and take the car with you back to camp. You said +one of the fellows had his car down there, so I'm sure you'll be able to +find a place to put it over night. If you find a way to send the car back +to us in the morning, well and good. If not your mother and I will go +home by train and the chauffeur can come down to-morrow and bring back +the car; or, better still, you can drive yourself up the next time you +get leave off." + +There was much argument about the matter within a brief space of time, +but in the end (which came in five minutes) Ruth had her way, and the +young soldier departed for his camp in the gray car with ample time to +make the short trip, leaving his mother and Ruth at a Baltimore hotel; +after having promised to call up in the morning and let them know what he +could do about the car. + +Ruth selected a large double room and went at once to the telephone to +call up her aunt. She found to her relief that that good lady had not yet +returned from her day with a friend in the city, so that no explanations +would be necessary that night. She left word with the servant that she +was in Baltimore with a friend and would probably be at home the next day +sometime. Then she turned to find to her dismay that her companion was +sitting in a low-armed chair with tears running down her cheeks. + +"Oh, my dear!" she exclaimed rushing over to her, "you are all worn out!" + +"Not a bit of it!" sobbed the mother with a smile like sunshine through +her tears. "I was so happy I couldn't keep from crying. Don't you ever +get that way? I've just been watching you and thinking what a dear +beautiful child you are and how wonderful God has been to send you to +help my boy. Oh, it was so dreadful to me to think of him going down to +camp with those men! My dear, I smelt liquor on their breath when they +came for him, and I was just crying and praying about it when you called +me up. Of course, I knew my boy wouldn't drink, but so many accidents can +happen with automobiles when the driver is drunk! My dear, I never can +thank you enough!" + +They were both too excited to sleep soon, but long after the mother was +asleep Ruth lay awake going over the whole day and wondering. There were +so many things about the incident of the afternoon and evening, now that +they were over, that were utterly out of accord with her whole life +heretofore. She felt intuitively that her aunt would never understand if +she were to explain the whole proceeding. There were so many laws of her +little world of conventionalities that she had transgressed, and so many +qualms of a belated conscience about whether she ought to have done it at +all. What would Cameron think of her, anyway? Her cheeks burned hot in +the dark over that question. Strange she had not thought of it at all +either beforehand or while she sat beside him during that wonderful ride! +And now the thing that Wainwright had said shouted itself out to her +ears: "Rotten! Rotten! Rotten!" like a dirge. Suppose he were? It +_couldn't_ be true. It _just couldn't_, but suppose he were? Well, +suppose he were! How was she hurt by doing a kind act? Having taken that +stand against all her former ideas Ruth had instant peace and drifted +into dreams of what she had been enjoying, the way suddenly lit by a +sleepy remembrance of Wetherill's declaration: "He won't drink! You can't +make him! It's been tried again and again!" There was evidence in his +favor. Why hadn't she remembered that before? And his mother! She had +been so sure of him! + +The telephone bell wakened her with a message from camp. His voice +greeted her pleasantly with the word that it was all right, he had +reached camp in plenty of time, found a good place for the car, and it +would be at the hotel at nine o'clock. Ruth turned from the phone with a +vague disappointment. He had not said a word of thanks or good-bye or +anything, only that he must hurry. Not even a word to his mother. But +then, of course, men did not think of those little things, perhaps, as +women did, and maybe it was just as well for him to take it all as a +matter of course. It made it less embarrassing for her. + +But when they went down to the car, behold he was in it! + +"I got leave off for the morning," he explained smiling. "I told my +captain all about how you got me back in time when I'd missed the train +and he told me to see you as far as Wilmington and catch the noon train +back from there. He's a peach of a captain. If my lieutenant had been +there I wouldn't have got a chance to ask him. I was afraid of that last +night. But for good luck the lieutenant has a two days' leave this time. +He's a mess!" + +Ruth looked at him musingly. Was Harry Wainwright the lieutenant? + +They had a golden morning together, and talked of many things that welded +a friendship already well begun. + +"Weren't you at all frightened last night?" asked Cameron once, looking +at the delicate beauty of the face beside him and noting the strength and +sweetness of it. + +Mrs. Cameron was dozing in the back seat and they felt quite alone and +free. Ruth looked up at him frankly: + +"Why, yes, I think I was for a minute or two while we were behind that +barn, but----Did you ever pray when you were in a trying situation?" + +He looked down earnestly into her face, half startled at her words: + +"Why, I don't know that I ever did. I'm not quite sure if it was +praying." + +"Well, I don't know that I ever did before," she went on thoughtfully, +"but last night when those men got out of their car in front of the barn +so near us again, I found myself praying." She dropped her eyes half +embarrassed: "Just as if I were a frightened little child I found myself +saying: 'God help us! God help us!' And right away we heard that other +car coming and the men went away. It somehow seemed--well, strange! I +wondered if anybody else ever had an experience like that." + +"I've heard of them," said Cameron gravely. "I've wondered sometimes +myself. Do you believe in God?" + +"Oh, yes!" said Ruth quite firmly. "Of course. What use would there be in +anything if there wasn't a God?" + +"But do you believe we humans can ever really--well, _find_ Him? On this +earth, I mean." + +"Why, I don't know that I ever thought about it," she answered +bewildered. "Find Him? In what way do you mean?" + +"Why, get in touch with Him? Get to know Him, perhaps. Be on such terms +with Him that one could call out in a time like last night, you know; +or--well, say in a battle! I've been thinking a lot about that +lately--naturally." + +"Oh!" gasped Ruth softly, "of course. I hadn't thought about that much, +either. We've been so thoughtless--and--and sort of happy you know, just +like butterflies, we girls! I haven't realized that men were going out to +face _Death_!" + +"It isn't that I'm afraid to die," said Cameron proudly lifting his chin +as if dying were a small matter, "not just the dying part. I reckon I've +been through worse than that a dozen times. That wouldn't last long. +It's--the other part. I have a feeling there'll be a little something +more expected of me than just to have tried to get the most fun out of +life. I've been thinking if there is a God He'd expect us to find it out +and make things straight between us somehow. I suppose I don't make +myself very plain. I don't believe I know myself just what I mean." + +"I think I understand just a little," said Ruth, "I have never thought +about it before, but I'm going to now. It's something we ought to think +about, I guess. In a sense it's something that each one of us has to +think, whether we are going into battle or not, isn't it?" + +"I suppose it is, only we never realize it when things are going along +all right," said Cameron. "It seems queer that everybody that's ever +lived on this earth has had this question to face sooner or later and +most of them haven't done much about it. The few people who profess to +have found a way to meet it we call cranks, or else pick flaws in the way +they live; although it does seem to me that if I really found God so I +was sure He was there and cared about me, I'd manage to live a little +decenter life than some do." + +They drifted into other topics and all too soon they reached Wilmington +and had to say good-bye. But the thought stayed with Ruth more or less +during the days that followed, and crept into her letters when she wrote +to Corporal Cameron, as she did quite often in these days; and still no +solution had come to the great question which was so like the one of old, +"What shall I do to be saved?" It came and went during the days that +followed, and now and again the fact that it had originated in a talk +with Cameron clashed badly in her mind with that word "Rotten" that +Wainwright had used about him. So that at last she resolved to talk to +her cousin, Captain La Rue, the next time he came up. + +"Cousin Captain," she said, "do you know a boy at your camp from Bryne +Haven named John Cameron?" + +"Indeed I do!" said the captain. + +"What kind of a man is he?" + +"The best young man I know in every way," answered the captain promptly. +"If the world were made up of men like him it would be a pretty good +place in which to live. Do you know him?" + +"A little," said Ruth evasively, with a satisfied smile on her lips. "His +mother is in our Red Cross now. She thinks he's about right, of course, +but mothers usually do, I guess. I'll have to tell her what you said. It +will please her. He used to be in school with me years ago. I haven't +seen much of him since." + +"Well, all I have to say is, improve your acquaintance if you get the +chance. He's worth ten to one of your society youths that loll around +here almost every time I come." + +"Now, Cousin Captain!" chided Ruth. But she went off smiling and she kept +all his words in her heart. + + + + +XII + + +Corporal Cameron did not soon return to his native town. An epidemic of +measles broke out in camp just before Thanksgiving and pursued its +tantalizing course through his special barracks with strenuous vigor. +Quarantine was put on for three weeks, and was but lifted for a few hours +when a new batch of cases came down. Seven weeks more of isolation +followed, when the men were not allowed away from the barracks except for +long lonely walks, or gallops across camp. Even the mild excitements of +the Y.M.C.A. huts were not for them in these days. They were much shut up +to themselves, and latent tendencies broke loose and ran riot. Shooting +crap became a passion. They gambled as long as they had a dollar left or +could get credit on the next month's pay day. Then they gambled for their +shirts and their bayonets. All day long whenever they were in the +barracks, you could hear the rattle of the dice, and the familiar call of +"Phoebe," "Big Dick," "Big Nick," and "Little Joe." When they were not on +drill the men would infest the barracks for hours at a time, gathered in +crouching groups about the dice, the air thick and blue with cigarette +smoke; while others had nothing better to do than to sprawl on their cots +and talk; and from their talk Cameron often turned away nauseated. The +low ideals, the open boasting of shame, the matter-of-course conviction +that all men and most women were as bad as themselves, filled him with a +deep boiling rage, and he would close his book or throw down the paper +with which he was trying to while the hour, and fling forth into the cold +air for a solitary ride or walk. + +He was sitting thus a cold cheerless December day with a French book he +had recently sent for, trying to study a little and prepare himself for +the new country to which he was soon going. + +The door of the barracks opened letting in a rush of cold air, and closed +again quickly. A tall man in uniform with the red triangle on his arm +stood pulling off his woolen gloves and looking about him. Nobody paid +any attention to him. Cameron was deep in his book and did not even +notice him. Off at his left a new crap game was just starting. The +phraseology beat upon his accustomed ears like the buzz of bees or +mosquitos. + +"I'll shoot a buck!" + +"You're faded!" + +"Come on now there, dice! Remember the baby's shoes!" + +Cameron had ceased to hear the voices. He was struggling with a difficult +French idiom. + +The stranger took his bearings deliberately and walked over to Cameron, +sitting down with a friendly air on the nearest cot. + +"Would you be interested in having one of my little books?" he asked, and +his voice had a clear ring that brought Cameron's thoughts back to the +barracks again. He looked up for a curt refusal. He did not wish to be +bothered now, but something in the young man's earnest face held him. +Y.M.C.A. men in general were well enough, but Cameron wasn't crazy about +them, especially when they were young. But this one had a look about him +that proclaimed him neither a slacker nor a sissy. Cameron hesitated: + +"What kind of a book?" he asked in a somewhat curt manner. + +The boy, for he was only a boy though he was tall as a man, did not hedge +but went straight to the point, looking eagerly at the soldier: + +"A pocket Testament," he said earnestly, and laid in Cameron's hand a +little book with limp leather covers. Cameron took it up half curiously, +and then looked into the other's face almost coldly. + +"You selling them?" There was a covert sneer in his tone. + +"No, no!" said the other quickly, "I'm giving them away for a promise. +You see, I had an accident and one of my eyes was put out a while ago. Of +course, they wouldn't take me for a soldier, and the next best thing was +to be all the help I could to the fellows that are going to fight. I +figure that book is the best thing I can bring you." + +The manly simplicity of the boy held Cameron's gaze firmly fixed. + +"H'm! In what way?" Cameron was turning the leaves curiously, enjoying +the silky fineness and the clear-cut print and soft leather binding. Life +in the barracks was so much in the rough that any bit of refinement was +doubly appreciated. He liked the feel of the little book and had a +curious longing to be its possessor. + +"Why, it gives you a pretty straight line on where we're all going, what +is expected of us, and how we're to be looked out for. It shows one how +to know God and be ready to meet death if we have to." + +"What makes you think anyone can know God on this earth?" asked Cameron +sharply. + +"Because _I_ have," said the astonishing young man quite as if he were +saying he were related to the President or something like that. + +"You have! How did you get to know Him?" + +"Through that little book and by following its teachings." + +Cameron turned over the pages again, catching familiar phrases here and +there as he had heard them sometimes in Sunday school years ago. + +"You said something about a promise. What was it?" + +"That you'll carry the book with you always, and read at least a verse in +it every day." + +"Well, that doesn't sound hard," mused Cameron. "I guess I could stand +for that." + +"The book is yours, then. Would you like to put your name to that +acceptance card in the front of the book?" + +"What's that?" asked Cameron sharply as if he had discovered the fly in +the ointment for which he had all along been suspicious. + +"Well, I call it the first step in knowing God. It's your act of +acceptance of the way God has planned for you to be forgiven and saved +from sin. If you sign that you say you will accept Christ as your +Saviour." + +"But suppose you don't believe in Christ? I can't commit myself to +anything like that till I know about it?" + +"Well, you see, that's the first move in getting to know God," said the +stranger with a smile. "God says he wants you to believe in his Son. He +asks that much of you if you want to get to know Him." + +Cameron looked at him with bewildered interest. Was here a possible +answer to the questions of his heart. Why did this curious boy have a +light in his face that never came from earth or air? What was there about +his simple earnestness that was so convincing? + +Another crap game had started up on the other side of them. A musically +inclined private was playing ragtime on the piano, and another was trying +to accompany him on the banjo. The air was hazier than ever. It seemed +strange to be talking of such things in these surroundings: + +"Let's get out of here and walk!" said Cameron, "I'd like to understand +what you mean." + +For two hours they tramped across the frozen ground and talked, arguing +this way and that, much drawn toward one another. At last in the solemn +background of a wall of whispering pines that shut them away from the +stark gray rows of barracks, Cameron took out his fountain pen and with +his foot on a prone log, opened the little book on his knee and wrote his +name and the date. Then he put it in his breast pocket with the solemn +feeling that he had taken some kind of a great step toward what his soul +had been longing to find. They knelt on the frozen ground beside that log +and the stranger prayed simply as if he were talking to a friend. +Thereafter that spot was hallowed ground to Cameron, to which he came +often to think and to read his little book. + +That night he wrote to Ruth, telling in a shy way of his meeting with the +Testament man and about the little book. After he had mailed the letter +he walked back again to the spot among the pines and standing there +looked up to the stars and somehow committed himself again to the +covenant he had signed in the little book. It was then that he decided +that if he got home again after quarantine before he went over, he would +unite with the church. Somehow the stranger's talk that afternoon had +cleared away his objections. On his way back to the barracks across the +open field, up through the woods and over the crest of the hill toward +the road as he walked thinking deeply, suddenly from down below on the +road a familiar voice floated up to him. He parted the branches of oak +underbrush that made a screen between him and the road and glanced down +to get his bearings the better to avoid an unwelcome meeting. It was +inevitable when one came near Lieutenant Wainwright that he would +overhear some part of a conversation for he had a carrying voice which he +never sought to restrain. + +"You're sure she's a girl with pep, are you? I don't want to bother with +any other kind. All right. Tell her to wait for me in the Washington +station to-morrow evening at eight. I'll look for her at the right of the +information booth. Tell her to wear a red carnation so I'll know her. +I'll show her a good time, all right, if she's the right sort. I'll trust +you that she's a good looker!" + +Cameron could not hear the response, but the two were standing +silhouetted against a distant light, and something in the attitude of the +other man held his attention. For a moment he could not place him, then +it flashed across his mind that this was the soldier Chambers, who had +been the means of his missing the train at Chester on the memorable +occasion when Ruth Macdonald had saved the day. It struck him as a +strange thing that these two enemies of his whom he would have supposed +to be strangers to one another should be talking thus intimately. To make +sure of the man's identity he waited until the two parted and Wainwright +went his way, and then at a distance followed the other one until he was +quite certain. He walked back thoughtfully trying to make it out. Had +Wainwright then been at the bottom of his trouble that day? It began to +seem quite possible. And how had Ruth Macdonald happened to be so +opportunely present at the right moment? How had she happened to turn +down that road, a road that was seldom used by people going to Baltimore? +It was all very strange and had never been satisfactorily explained. Ruth +had evaded the question most plausibly every time he had brought it up. +Could it be that Wainwright had told her of a plot against him and she +had reached out to help him? His heart leaped at the thought. Then at +once he was sure that Wainwright had never told her, unless perhaps he +had told some tale against him, and made him the butt of a great joke. +Well, if he had she had cared enough to defend him and help him out +without ever giving away the fact that she knew. But here, too, lay a +thorn to disturb him. Why had Ruth Macdonald not told him the plain truth +if she knew? Was she trying to shield Harry Wainwright? Could she really +care for that contemptible scoundrel? + +The thought in all its phases tore his mind and kept him awake for hours, +for the crux of the whole matter was that he was afraid that Ruth +Macdonald was going to marry Lieutenant Wainwright, and he knew that it +was not only for her sake, but for his also that he did not want +this--that it was agony even to contemplate. + +He told himself, of course, that his interest was utterly unselfish. That +she was nothing to him but a friend and never would be, and that while it +might be hard to see her belong to some fine man and know he never might +be more than a passing friend, still it would not be like seeing her tied +to a rotten unprincipled fellow like Wainwright. The queer part of it was +that the word "rotten" in connection with his enemy played a great part +in his thoughts that night. + +Somewhere in the watches of the night a memory came to him of the +covenant he had made that day and a vague wistful reaching of his heart +after the Christ to whom he was supposed to have surrendered his life. He +wondered if a Christ such as the stranger had claimed He had, would take +an interest in the affairs of Ruth Macdonald. Surely, such a flower of a +girl would be protected if there was protection for anyone! And somehow +he managed a queer little prayer for her, the first he had tried to put +up. It helped him a little, and toward morning he fell asleep. + +A few days later in glancing through his newly acquired Testament he came +upon a verse which greatly troubled him for a time. His eye had caught it +at random and somehow it lodged in his mind: + +"Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a +quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye." + +Somehow the principle of that verse did not fit with his proud spirit. He +thought instantly of Wainwright's distasteful face and form. It seemed to +loom before him with a smug triumphal sneer. His enmity toward the fellow +had been of years standing, and had been deepened many times by +unforgetable acts. There was nothing about Wainwright to make one forgive +him. There was everything about him to make one want to punish him. When +the verse first confronted Cameron he felt a rising indignation that +there had been so much as a connection in his thoughts with his quarrel +with Wainwright. Why, anybody that knew him knew Wainwright was wrong. +God must think so, too. That verse might apply to little quarrels but not +to his feeling about the way Wainwright had treated him ever since they +were children. That was not to be borne, of course. Those words he had +called Cameron's father! How they made his blood boil even now! No, he +would not forbear nor forgive Wainwright. God would not want him to do +so. It was right he should be against him forever! Thus he dismissed the +suggestion and turned to the beginning of his testament, having +determined to find the Christ of whom the stranger had set him in search. + +On the flyleaf of the little book the stranger had written a few words: + + "And ye shall find me, when ye shall search for me with all your + heart."--Jeremiah xxix: 13. + +That meant no half-way business. He could understand that. Well, he was +willing to put himself into the search fully. He understood that it was +worth a whole-hearted search if one were really to find a God as a +reward. + +That night he wrote a letter to the minister in Bryne Haven asking for an +interview when next he was able to get leave from camp. In the meantime +he kept out of the way of Wainwright most adroitly, and found many ways +to avoid a meeting. + +There had been three awful days when his "peach of a captain" about whom +he had spoken to Ruth, had been called away on some military errand and +Wainwright had been the commanding officer. They had been days of gall +and wormwood to Cameron, for his proud spirit could not bend to salute +the man whom he considered a scoundrel, and Wainwright took a fine +delight in using his power over his enemy to the limit. If it had not +been for the unexpected return of the captain a day earlier than planned, +Cameron might have had to suffer humiliations far greater than he did. + +The bitterness between the two grew stronger, and Cameron went about with +his soul boiling with rage and rebellion. It was only when Ruth's letters +came that he forgot it all for a few minutes and lifted his thoughts to +higher things. + + + + +XIII + + +It was a clear, crisp day in March with just a smell of Spring in the +air, when Cameron finally united with the church. + +He had taken a long time to think about it. Quarantine had extended +itself away into February, and while his company had had its regular +drill and hard work, there had been no leave from camp, no going to +Y.M.C.A. huts, and no visiting canteens. They had been shut up to the +company of the members of their own barracks, and there were times when +that palled upon Cameron to a distressing degree. Once when it had snowed +for three days, and rained on the top of it, and a chill wind had swept +into the cracks and crannies of the barracks, and poured down from the +ventilators in the roofs. The old stoves were roaring their best to keep +up good cheer, and the men lay on their cots in rows talking; telling +their vile stories, one after another, each to sound bigger than the +last, some mere lads boasting of wild orgies, and all finally drifting +into a chat on a sort of philosophy of the lowest ideals. Cameron lay on +his cot trying to sleep, for he had been on guard all night, and a letter +from Ruth was in his inside pocket with a comfortable crackle, but the +talk that drifted about him penetrated even his army blankets when he +drew them up over his ears. + +The fellows had arrived at a point where a young lad from Texas had +stated with a drawl that all girls were more or less bad; that this talk +of the high standards of womanhood was all bosh; that there was one +standard for men and women, yes, but it was man's standard, not woman's, +as was written sometimes. White womanhood! Bah! There was no such thing! + +In vain Cameron stuffed the blanket about his ears, resolutely shut his +eyes and tried to sleep. His very blood boiled in his veins. The letter +in his pocket cried out to be exonerated from this wholesale blackening. +Suddenly Cameron flung the blanket from him and sprang to his feet with a +single motion, a tall soldier with a white flame of wrath in his face, +his eyes flashing with fire. They called him in friendly derision the +"Silent Corporal" because he kept so much to himself, but now he blazed +forth at them: + +"You lie, Kelly! You know you do! The whole lot of you are liars! You +know that rot you've been talking isn't true. You know that it's to cover +up your own vile deeds and to excuse your own lustful passions that you +talk this way and try to persuade your hearts and consciences that you +are no worse than the girls you have dishonored! But it isn't so and you +know it! There _are_ good women! There always have been and there always +will be! You, every one of you, know at least one. You are dishonoring +your mothers and your sisters when you talk that way. You are worse than +the beasts you are going out to fight. That's the rotten stuff they are +teaching. They call it Kultur! You'll never win out against them if you +go in that spirit, for it's their spirit and nothing more. You've got to +go clean! If there's a God in heaven He's in this war, and it's got to be +a clean war! And you've got to begin by thinking differently of women or +you're just as bad as the Huns!" + +With that he seized his poncho, stamped out into the storm, and tramped +for two hours with a driving sleet in his face, his thoughts a fury of +holy anger against unholy things, and back of it all the feeling that he +was the knight of true womanhood. She had sent him forth and no man in +his presence should defile the thought of her. It was during that tramp +that he had made up his mind to ally himself with God's people. Whether +it would do any good in the long run in his search for God or not, +whether he even was sure he believed in God or not, he would do that much +if he were permitted. + +His interview with the minister had not made things much plainer. He had +been told that he would grow into things. That the church was the +shepherd-fold of the soul, that he would be nurtured and taught, that by +and by these doubts and fears would not trouble him. He did not quite see +it, how he was to be nurtured on the distant battlefield of France, but +it was a mystical thing, anyway, and he accepted the statement and let it +go at that. One thing that stuck in his heart and troubled him deeply was +the way the minister talked to him about love and fellowship with his +fellow men. As a general thing, Cameron had no trouble with his +companions in life, but there were one or two, notably Wainwright and a +young captain friend of his at camp, named Wurtz, toward whom his enmity +almost amounted to hatred. + +He was not altogether sure that the ministers suggestion that he might +love the sinner and hate the sin would hold good with regard to +Wainwright; but there had been only a brief time before the communion +service and he had had to let the matter go. His soul was filled with a +holy uplifting as he stepped out from the pastor's study and followed +into the great church. + +It had startled him just a little to find so many people there. In +contemplating this act of allying himself with God he had always thought +of it as being between himself and God, with perhaps the minister and an +elder or two. He sat down in the place indicated for him much disturbed +in spirit. It had always been an annoyance to him to be brought to the +notice of his fellow townsmen, and a man in uniform in these days was +more than ever an object of interest. His troubled gaze was downward +during the opening hymns and prayers. But when he came to stand and take +his vows he lifted his eyes, and there, off at one side where the seats +grouped in a sort of transept, he caught a glimpse of Ruth Macdonald +standing beside her tall Captain-cousin who was home for the day, and +there was a light in her eyes that steadied him and brought back the +solemnity of the moment once more. It thrilled him to think she was +there. He had not realized before that this must be her church. In fact, +he had not thought of it as being any church in particular, but as being +a part of the great church invisible to which all God's children +belonged. It had not occurred to him until that morning, either, that his +mother might be hurt that he had not chosen her church. But when he spoke +to her about it she shook her head and smiled. She was only glad of what +he was doing. There were no regrets. She was too broad minded to stop +about creeds. She was sitting there meekly over by the wall now, her +hands folded quietly in her lap, tears of joy in her eyes. She, too, had +seen Ruth Macdonald and was glad, but she wondered who the tall captain +by her side might be. + +It happened that Cameron was the only person uniting by confession at +that time, for the quarantine had held him beyond the time the pastor had +spoken of when so many were joining, and he stood alone, tall and +handsome in his uniform, and answered in a clear, deep voice: "I do," "I +will!" as the vows were put upon him one by one. Every word he meant from +his heart, a longing for the God who alone could satisfy the longings of +his soul. + +He thrilled with strange new enthusiasm as the congregation of church +members were finally called upon to rise and receive him into their +fellowship, and looking across he saw Ruth Macdonald again and his +beloved Captain La Rue standing together while everybody sang: + + Blest be the tie that binds + Our hearts in Christian love; + The fellowship of kindred minds + Is like to that above. + +But when the bread and the wine had been partaken of, the solemn prayer +of dedication spoken, the beautiful service was over, and the rich tones +of the organ were swelling forth, he suddenly felt strange and shy among +all that crowd of people whom he knew by sight only. The elders and some +of the other men and women shook hands with him, and he was trying to +slip away and find his mother when a kindly hand was laid upon his +shoulder and there stood the captain with Ruth beside him, and a warm +hand shake of welcome into the church. + +"I'm so glad," he said, "that you have taken this step. You will never +regret it, Cameron. It is good that we can be of the same company here if +we have failed in other ways." Then turning to Ruth he said: + +"I didn't tell you, did I, Ruth, that I've failed in trying to get +Cameron transferred to my division? I did everything I could, but they've +turned down my application flatly. It seems like stupidity to me, for it +was just the place for which he was most fitted, but I guess it's because +he was too much of a man to stay in a quiet sector and do such work. If +he had been maimed or half blinded they might have considered him. They +need him in his present place, and I am the poorer for it." + +There was a glow in Ruth's eyes as she put her hand in Cameron's and said +simply: "I'm glad you're one of us now," that warmed his heart with a +great gladness. + +"I didn't know you were a member," he said wonderingly. + +"Why, yes, I've been a member since I was fourteen," she said, and +suddenly he felt that he had indeed come into a holy and blessed +communion. If he had not yet found God, at least he was standing on the +same ground with one of his holy children. + +That was the last time he got home before he sailed. Shipping quarantine +was put on his company the very next week, the camp was closed to +visitors, and all passes annulled. The word came that they would be going +over in a few days, but still they lingered, till the days grew into +three weeks, and the Spring was fully upon them in all its beauty, +touching even the bare camp with a fringe of greenness and a sprinkle of +wild bloom in the corners where the clearing had not been complete. + +Added to his other disappointments, a direful change had taken place at +camp. The "peach of a captain" had been raised to the rank of major and +Captain Wurtz had been put in his place. It seemed as if nothing worse +could be. + +The letters had been going back and forth rather often of late, and +Cameron had walked to the loneliest spot in the camp in the starlight and +had it out with himself. He knew now that Ruth Macdonald was the only +girl in all the world to him. He also knew that there was not a chance in +a thousand that he could ever be more to her than he now was. He knew +that the coming months held pain for him, and yet, he would not go back +and undo this beautiful friendship, no, not for all the pain that might +come. It was worth it, every bit. + +He had hoped to get one more trip home, and she had wanted to see the +camp, had said that perhaps when the weather got warmer she might run +down some day with his mother, but now the quarantine was on and that was +out of the question. He walked alone to the places he would have liked to +show her, and then with a sigh went to the telephone office and waited +two hours till he got a connection through to her house, just to tell her +how sorry he was that he could not come up as he had expected and take +that ride with her that she had promised in her last letter. Somehow it +comforted him to hear her voice. She had asked if there would be no +lifting of the quarantine before they left, no opportunity to meet him +somewhere and say good-bye, and he promised that he would let her know if +any such chance came; but he had little hope, for company after company +were being sent away in the troop trains now, hour after hour, and he +might be taken any minute. + +Then one day he called her up and told her that the next Saturday and +Sunday the camp was to be thrown open to visitors, and if she could come +down with his mother he would meet them at the Hostess' House and they +could spend the day together. Ruth promptly accepted the invitation and +promised to arrange it all with his mother and take the first train down +Saturday morning. After he had hung up the receiver and paid his bill he +walked away from the little telephone headquarters in a daze of joy. She +had promised to come! For one whole day he would have her to himself! She +was willing to come with his mother! Then as he passed the officers' +headquarters it occurred to him that perhaps she had other interests in +coming to camp than just to see him, and he frowned in the darkness and +his heart burned hot within him. What if they should meet Wainwright! How +the day would be spoiled! + +With this trouble on his mind he went quite early in the morning down as +near to the little trolley station as he could get, for since the +quarantine had been put on no soldiers without a special pass were +allowed beyond a certain point, which was roped off about the trolley +station. Sadly, Cameron took his place in the front rank, and stood with +folded arms to wait. He knew he would have some time to stand before he +could look for his guests, but the crowd was always so great at the train +times that it was well to get a good place early. So he stood and thought +his sad thoughts, almost wishing he had not asked them to come, as he +realized more and more what unpleasantness might arise in case Wainwright +should find out who were his guests. He was sure that the lieutenant was +not above sending him away on a foolish errand, or getting him into a +humiliating situation before his friends. + +As he stood thus going over the situation and trying to plan how he might +spirit his guests away to some pleasant spot where Wainwright would not +be likely to penetrate, he heard the pompous voice of the lieutenant +himself, and slipping behind a comrade turned his face away so that he +would not be recognized. + +"Yes, I got special leave for three days!" proclaimed the satisfied +voice, and Cameron's heart bounded up so joyously that he would have +almost been willing then and there to put aside his vow not to salute +him, and throw his arms about his enemy. Going away for three days. That +meant two things! First that Wainwright would not have to be thought of +in making his plans, and second that they were evidently not going to +move before Wainwright got back. They surely would not have given him +leave if the company was to be sent away that day. A third exultant +thought followed; Wainwright was going home presumably to see Ruth and +Ruth would not be there! Perhaps, oh _perhaps_ he might be able to +persuade her and his mother to stay over Sunday! He hardly dared to hope, +however, for Ruth Macdonald might think it presumptuous in him to suggest +it, and again she might wish to go home to meet Wainwright. And, too, +where could they sleep if they did stay. It was hopeless, of course. They +would have to go back to Baltimore or to Washington for the night and +that would be a hard jaunt. + +However, Ruth Macdonald had thought of such a possibility herself, and +when she and Mrs. Cameron stepped down from the Philadelphia train at the +small country station that had suddenly become an important point because +of the great camp that had sprung up within a stone's throw of it, she +looked around enquiringly at the little cottage homes in sight and said +to her companion: + +"Would it be very dreadful in us to discover if there is some place here +where we could stay over night in case John's company does not go just +yet and we find we would be allowed to see him again on Sunday?" + +She knew by the sudden lighting of the mother's wistful face that she had +read aright the sighs half stifled that she had heard on the train when +the mother had thought she was not noticing. + +"Oh, do you suppose we could stay?" The voice was full of yearning. + +"Well, we can find out, at least. Anyhow, I'm going in here to see +whether they would take us in case we could. It looks like a nice neat +place." + +Ruth pulled open the gate, ran up the steps of the pleasant porch shaded +with climbing roses, and knocked timidly at the open door. + +A broad, somewhat frowsy woman appeared and surveyed her coolly with that +apprising glance that a native often gives to a stranger; took in the +elegant simplicity of her quiet expensive gown and hat, lingering with a +jealous glance on the exquisite hand bag she carried, then replied +apathetically to Ruth's question: + +"No, we're all full. We ain't got any room. You might try down to the +Salvation Army Hut. They got a few rooms down there. It's just been +built. They might take you in. It's down the road a piece, that green +building to the right. You can't miss it. You'll see the sign." + +Ruth caught her breath, thanked her and hastened back to her companion. +Salvation Army! That was eccentric, queer, but it would be perfectly +respectable! Or would it? Would Aunt Rhoda disapprove very much? Somehow +the Salvation Army was associated in her mind with slums and drunkards. +But, at least, they might be able to direct her to a respectable place. + +Mrs. Cameron, too, looked dubious. This having a society girl to +chaperone was new business for her. She had never thought much about it, +but somehow she would hardly have associated the Salvation Army with the +Macdonald family in any way. She paused and looked doubtfully at the +unpretentious little one-story building that stretched away capaciously +and unostentatiously from the grassy roadside. + +"SALVATION ARMY" arose in bold inviting letters from the roof, and "Ice +Cold Lemonade" beckoned from a sign on the neat screen door. Ruth was a +bit excited. + +"I'm going in!" she declared and stepped within the door, Mrs. Cameron +following half fearfully. + +The room which they entered was long and clean and pleasant. Simple white +curtains draped the windows, many rush-bottomed big rocking chairs were +scattered about, a long desk or table ran along one side of the room with +writing materials, a piano stood open with music on its rack, and shelves +of books and magazines filled the front wall. + +Beyond the piano were half a dozen little tables, white topped and ready +for a hungry guest. At the back a counter ran the width of the room, with +sandwiches and pies under glass covers, and a bright coffee urn steaming +suggestively at one end. Behind it through an open door was a view of the +kitchen, neat, handy, crude, but all quite clean, and through this door +stepped a sweet-faced woman, wiping her hands on her gingham apron and +coming toward them with a smile of welcome as if they were expected +guests. It was all so primitive, and yet there was something about it +that bore the dignity of refinement, and puzzled this girl from her +sheltered home. She was almost embarrassed to make her enquiry, but the +hearty response put her quite at her ease, as if she had asked a great +favor of another lady in a time of stress: + +"I'm so sorry, but our rooms are all taken," the woman waved a slender +hand toward the long side of the room and Ruth noticed for the first time +that a low partition ran the length of the room at one side with doors. +Mechanically she counted them, eight of them, neat, gray-painted doors. +Could these be rooms? How interesting! She had a wild desire to see +inside them. Rooms! They were more like little stalls, for the partitions +did not reach all the way to the ceiling. A vision of her own spacious +apartment at home came floating in vague contrast. Then one of the doors +opposite her opened as its occupant, a quiet little elderly woman, came +out, and she had a brief glimpse of the white curtained window, the white +draped comfortable looking bed, a row of calico curtained hooks on the +wall, and a speck of a wash stand with tin pitcher and basin in the +corner, all as clean and new as the rest of the place. She swiftly +decided to stay here if there was any chance. Another look at the sweet +face of the presiding woman who was trying to make them understand how +crowded everything was, and how many mothers there were with sons who +were going that night or the next, and who wanted to be near them, +determined her. She was saying there was just a chance in case a certain +mother from Boston who had written her did not arrive at five o'clock: + +"But we ought not to take a chance," said Cameron's mother, looking at +the eager faced girl with a cautious wistfulness. "What could we do if +night came and we had no place to stay?" + +Ruth cast her eyes about. + +"Couldn't we sit in a couple of those rocking chairs all night?" she +asked eagerly. + +The Salvation Army woman laughed affectionately as if she had found a +kindred spirit: + +"Why, dearie, I could give you a couple of cots out here in the dining +room if you didn't mind. I wouldn't have pillows, but I think I could get +you some blankets." + +"Then we'll stay," said Ruth triumphantly before Mrs. Cameron could +protest, and went away feeling that she had a new friend in the wise +sweet Salvation Army woman. In five minutes more they were seated in the +trolley on their way into the camp. + +"I'm afraid your people would not like you to stay in such a place," +began Mrs. Cameron dubiously, though her eyes shone with a light that +belied her words. + +"Nonsense!" said Ruth with a bewildering smile, "it is as clean as a pin +and I'm very much excited about staying there. It will be an adventure. +I've never known much about the Salvation Army before, except that they +are supposed to be very good people." + +"There might be some rough characters----" + +"Well, I guess they can't hurt us with that good woman around, and +anyhow, you're going to stay till your son goes!" laughingly declared +Ruth. + +"Well, we'll see what John says," said his mother with a sigh, "I can't +let you do anything--questionable." + +"Please, Mrs. Cameron," pleaded Ruth, "let us forget things like that +this trip and just have a happy time." + +The mother smiled, sadly, wistfully, through a mist of tears. She could +not help thinking how wonderful it would have been if there had been no +war and her dear boy could have had this sweet wholesome girl for a +friend. + + + + +XIV + + +The sun was shining gloriously when the two stepped from the trolley at +the little camp station and looked bewildered about them at the swarms of +uniforms and boyish faces, searching for their one. They walked through +the long lane lined with soldiers, held back by the great rope and +guarded by Military Police. Each crowding eager soldier had an air of +expectancy upon him, a silence upon him that showed the realization of +the parting that was soon to be. In many faces deep disappointment was +growing as the expected ones did not arrive. Ruth's throat was filled +with oppression and tears as she looked about and suddenly felt the grip +of war, and realized that all these thousands were bearing this +bitterness of parting, perhaps forever. Death stalking up and down a +battlefield, waiting to take his pick of them! This was the picture that +flashed before her shrinking eyes. + +It was almost like a solemn ceremony, this walking down the lane of +silent waiting soldiers, to be claimed by their one. It seemed to bring +the two young people nearer in heart than they had ever been before, when +at the end of the line Cameron met them with a salute, kissed his mother, +and then turned to Ruth and took her hand with an earnest grave look of +deep pleasure in his eyes. + +He led them up under the big trees in front of the Hostess' House while +all around were hushed voices, and teary eyes. That first moment of +meeting was the saddest and the quietest of the day with everybody, +except the last parting hour when mute grief sat unchecked upon every +face, and no one stopped to notice if any man were watching, but just +lived out his real heart self, and showed his mother or his sister or his +sweetheart how much he loved and suffered. + +That was a day which all the little painted butterflies of temptation +should have been made to witness. There were no painted ladies coming +through the gates that day. This was no time for friendships like that. +Death was calling, and the deep realities of life stood out and demanded +attention. + +The whole thing was unlike anything Ruth had ever witnessed before. It +was a new world. It was as if the old conventions which had heretofore +hedged her life were dropped like a garment revealing life as it really +was, and every one walked unashamed, because the great sorrow and need of +all had obliterated the little petty rules of life, and small passions +were laid aside, while hearts throbbed in a common cause. + +He waited on them like a prince, seeming to anticipate every need, and +smooth every annoyance. He led them away from the throng to the quiet +hillside above the camp where spring had set her dainty foot-print. He +spread down his thick army blanket for them to sit upon and they held +sweet converse for an hour or two. He told them of camp life and what was +expected to be when they started over, and when they reached the other +side. + +His mother was brave and sensible. Sometimes the tears would brim over at +some suggestion of what her boy was soon to bear or do, but she wore a +smile as courageous and sweet as any saint could wear. The boy saw and +grew tender over it. A bird came and sang over their heads, and the +moment was sweet with springing things and quiet with the brooding +tenderness of parting that hung over the busy camp. Ruth had one awful +moment of adjustment when she tried to think how her aunt Rhoda would +look if she could see her now; then she threw the whole thing to the +winds and resolved to enjoy the day. She saw that while the conventions +by which she had been reared were a good thing in general, perhaps, they +certainly were not meant to hamper or hinder the true and natural life of +the heart, or, if they were, they were not _good_ things; and she entered +into the moment with her full sympathy. Perhaps Aunt Rhoda would not +understand, but the girl she had brought up knew that it was good to be +here. Her aunt was away from home with an invalid friend on a short trip +so there had been no one to question Ruth's movements when she decided to +run down to Washington with a "friend from the Red Cross" and +incidentally visit the camp a little while. + +He had them over the camp by and by, to the trenches and dummies, and all +the paraphernalia of war preparation. Then they went back to the Hostess' +House and fell into line to get dinner. As Cameron stood looking down at +Ruth in the crowded line in the democratic way which was the only way +there was, it came over them both how strange and wonderful it was that +they two who had seen each other so little in their lives and who had +come from such widely separated social circles should be there together +in that beautiful intimacy. It came to them both at once and flashed its +thought from one pair of eyes to the other and back again. Cameron looked +deep into her thoughts then for a moment to find out if there was a +shadow of mortification or dismay in her face; but though she flushed +consciously her sweet true eyes gave back only the pleasure she was +feeling, and her real enjoyment of the day. Then instantly each of them +felt that another crisis had been passed in their friendship, another +something unseen and beautiful had happened that made this moment most +precious--one never to be forgotten no matter what happened in the +future, something they would not have missed for any other experience. + +It was Ruth who announced suddenly, late in the afternoon, during a +silence in which each one was thinking how fast the day was going: + +"Did you know that we were going to stay over Sunday?" + +Cameron's face blazed with joyful light: + +"Wonderful!" he said softly, "do you mean it? I've been trying to get +courage all day to suggest it, only I don't know of any place this side +of Washington or Baltimore where you can be comfortable, and I hate to +think of you hunting around a strange city late at night for +accommodations. If I could only get out to go with you----!" + +"It isn't necessary," said Ruth quickly, "we have our accommodations all +arranged for. Your mother and I planned it all out before we came. But +are you sure we can get into camp to-morrow?" + +"Yes, I'm almost certain we can get you passes by going up to officers' +headquarters and applying. A fellow in our company told me this morning +he had permission for his mother and sister to come in to-morrow. And we +are not likely to leave before Monday now, for this morning our +lieutenant went away and I heard him say he had a three days' leave. They +wouldn't have given him that if they expected to send us before he got +back, at least not unless they recalled him--they might do that." + +"Is that the lieutenant that you called a 'mess' the other day?" asked +Ruth with twinkling eyes. + +"Yes," said Cameron turning a keen, startled glance at her, and wondering +what she would say if she knew it was Wainwright he meant. + +But she answered demurely: + +"So he's away, is he? I'm glad. I was hoping he would be." + +"Why?" asked Cameron. + +"Oh, I thought he might be in the way," she smiled, and changed the +subject, calling attention to the meadow lark who was trilling out his +little ecstasy in the tall tree over their head. + +Cameron gave one glance at the bird and then brought his gaze back to the +sweet upturned face beside him, his soul thrilling with the wonder of it +that she should be there with him! + +"But you haven't told me where you have arranged to stay. Is it Baltimore +or Washington? I must look up your trains. I hope you will be able to +stay as late as possible. They're not putting people out of camp until +eight o'clock to-night." + +"Lovely!" said Ruth with the eagerness of a child. "Then we'll stay till +the very last trolley. We're not going to either Baltimore or Washington. +We're staying right near the camp entrance in that little town at the +station where we landed, I don't remember what you call it. We got +accommodations this morning before we came into camp." + +"But where?" asked Cameron anxiously. "Are you sure it's respectable? I'm +afraid there isn't any place there that would do at all." + +"Oh, yes there is," said Ruth. "It's the Salvation Army 'Hut,' they +called it, but it looks more like a barracks, and there's the dearest +little woman in charge!" + +"John, I'm afraid it isn't the right thing to let her do it!" put in his +mother anxiously. "I'm afraid her aunt wouldn't like it at all, and I'm +sure she won't be comfortable." + +"I shall _love_ it!" said Ruth happily, "and my aunt will never know +anything about it. As for comfort, I'll be as comfortable as you are, my +dear lady, and I'm sure you wouldn't let comfort stand in the way of +being with your boy." She smiled her sweet little triumph that brought +tears to the eyes of the mother; and Cameron gave her a blinding look of +gratitude and adoration. So she carried her way. + +Cameron protested no more, but quietly enquired at the Hostess' House if +the place was all right, and when he put them on the car at eight o'clock +he gave Ruth's hand a lingering pressure, and said in a low tone that +only she could hear, with a look that carried its meaning to her heart: + +"I shall never forget that you did this for my mother--and me!" + +The two felt almost light-hearted in comparison to their fellow +travellers, because they had a short reprieve before they would have to +say good-bye. But Ruth sat looking about her, at the sad-eyed girls and +women who had just parted from their husbands and sons and sweethearts, +and who were most of them weeping, and felt anew the great burden of the +universal sorrow upon her. She wondered how God could stand it. The old +human question that wonders how God can stand the great agonies of life +that have to come to cure the world of its sin, and never wonders how God +can stand the sin! She felt as if she must somehow find God and plead +with Him not to do it, and again there came that longing to her soul, if +she only knew God intimately! Cameron's question recurred to her +thoughts, "_Could_ anyone on this earth know God? Had anyone ever known +Him? Would the Bible say anything about it?" She resolved to read it +through and find out. + +The brief ride brought them suddenly into a new and to Ruth somewhat +startling environment. + +As they followed the grassy path from the station to their abiding place +two little boys in full military uniform appeared out of the tall grass +of the meadows, one as a private, the other as an officer. The small +private saluted the officer with precision and marched on, turning after +a few steps to call back, "Mother said we might sleep in the tent +to-night! The rooms are all full." The older boy gave a whoop of delight +and bounded back toward the building with a most unofficer-like walk, and +both disappeared inside the door. A tiny khaki dog-tent was set up in the +grass by the back door, and in a moment more the two young soldiers +emerged from the back door with blankets and disappeared under the brown +roof with a zest that showed it was no hardship to them to camp out for +the night. + +There were lights in the long pleasant room, and people. Two soldiers +with their girls were eating ice cream at the little tables, and around +the piano a group of officers and their wives was gathered singing +ragtime. Ruth's quick glance told her they were not the kind she cared +for, and--how could people who were about to part, perhaps forever, stand +there and sing such abominable nonsense! Yet--perhaps it was their way of +being brave to the last. But she wished they would go. + +The sweet-faced woman of the morning was busy behind the counter and +presently she saw them and came forward: + +"I'm sorry! I hoped there would be a room, but that woman from Boston +came. I can only give you cots out here, if you don't mind." + +Mrs. Cameron looked around in a half-frightened manner, but Ruth smiled +airily and said that would be all right. + +They settled down in the corner between the writing table and book case +and began to read, for it was obvious that they could not retire at +present. + +The little boys came running through and the officers corralled them and +clamored for them to sing. Without any coaxing they stood up together and +sang, and their voices were sweet as birds as they piped out the words of +a popular song, one singing alto, the little one taking the high soprano. +Ruth put down her book and listened, wondering at the lovely expressions +on the two small faces. They made her think of the baby-seraphs in +Michael Angelo's pictures. Presently they burst into a religious song +with as much gusto as they had sung the ragtime. They were utterly +without self-consciousness, and sang with the fervor of a preacher. Yet +they were regular boys, for presently when they were released they went +to turning hand springs and had a rough and tumble scuffle in the corner +till their mother called them to order. + +In a few minutes more the noisy officers and their wives parted, the men +striding off into the night with a last word about the possibility of +unexpected orders coming, and a promise to wink a flash light out of the +car window as the troop train went by in case they went out that night. +The wives went into one of the little stall-rooms and compared notes +about their own feelings and the probability of the ----Nth Division +leaving before Monday. + +Then the head of the house appeared with a Bible under his arm humming a +hymn. He cast a keen pleasant glance at the two strangers in the corner, +and gave a cheery word to his wife in answer to her question: + +"Yes, we had a great meeting to-night. A hundred and twenty men raised +their hands as wanting to decide for Christ, and two came forward to be +prayed for. It was a blessed time. I wish the boys had been over there to +sing. The meeting was in the big Y.M.C.A. auditorium. Has Captain Hawley +gone yet?" + +"Not yet." His wife's voice was lowered. She motioned toward one of the +eight gray doors, and her husband nodded sadly. + +"He goes at midnight, you know. Poor little woman!" + +Just then the door opened and a young soldier came out, followed by his +wife, looking little and pathetic with great dark hollows under her eyes, +and a forced smile on her trembling lips. + +The soldier came over and took the hand of the Salvation Army woman: + +"Well, I'm going out to-night, Mother. I want to thank you for all you've +done for my little girl"--looking toward his wife--"and I won't forget +all the good things you've done for _me_, and the sermons you've +preached; and when I get over there I'm going to try to live right and +keep all my promises. I want you to pray for me that I may be true. I +shall never cease to thank the Lord that I knew you two." + +The Salvationists shook hands earnestly with him, and promised to pray +for him, and then he turned to the children: + +"Good-bye, Dicky, I shan't forget the songs you've sung. I'll hear them +sometimes when I get over there in battle, and they'll help to keep me +true." + +But Dicky, not content with a hand shake swarmed up the leg and back of +his tall friend as if he had been a tree, and whispered in a loud +confidential child-whisper: + +"I'm a goin' to pray fer you, too, Cap'n Hawley. God bless you!" + +The grown-up phrases on the childish lips amused Ruth. She watched the +little boy as he lifted his beautiful serious face to the responsive look +of the stranger, and marvelled. Here was no parrot-like repetition of +word she had heard oft repeated by his elders; the boy was talking a +native tongue, and speaking of things that were real to him. There was no +assumption of godliness nor conceit, no holier-than-thou smirk about the +child. It was all sincere, as a boy would promise to speak to his own +father about a friend's need. It touched Ruth and tears sprang to her +eyes. + +All the doubts she had had about the respectability of the place had +vanished long ago. There might be all kinds of people coming and going, +but there was a holy influence here which made it a refuge for anyone, +and she felt quite safe about sleeping in the great barn-like room so +open. It was as if they had happened on some saint's abode and been made +welcome in their extremity. + +Presently, one by one the inmates of the rooms came in and retired. Then +the cots were brought out and set up, little simple affairs of canvas and +steel rods, put together in a twinkling, and very inviting to the two +weary women after the long day. The cheery proprietor called out, "Mrs. +Brown, haven't you an extra blanket in your room?" and a pleasant voice +responded promptly, "Yes, do you want it?" + +"Throw it over then, please. A couple of ladies hadn't any place to go. +Anybody else got one?" + +A great gray blanket came flying over the top of the partition, and down +the line another voice called: "I have one I don't need!" and a white +blanket with pink stripes followed, both caught by the Salvationist, and +spread upon the little cots. Then the lights were turned out one by one +and there in the shelter of the tall piano, curtained by the darkness the +two lay down. + +Ruth was so interested in it all and so filled with the humor and the +strangeness of her situation that tired as she was she could not sleep +for a long time. + +The house settled slowly to quiet. The proprietor and his wife talked +comfortably about the duties of the next day, called some directions to +the two boys in the puppy tent, soothed their mosquito bites with a +lotion and got them another blanket. The woman who helped in the kitchen +complained about not having enough supplies for morning, and that +contingency was arranged for, all in a patient, earnest way and in the +same tone in which they talked about the meetings. They discussed their +own boy, evidently the brother of the small boys, who had apparently just +sailed for France as a soldier a few days before, and whom the wife had +gone to New York to see off, and they commended him to their Christ in +little low sentences of reassurance to each other. Ruth could not help +but hear much that was said, for the rooms were all open to sounds, and +these good people apparently had nothing to hide. They spoke as if all +their household were one great family, equally interested in one another, +equally suffering and patient in the necessities of this awful war. + +In another tiny room the Y.M.C.A. man who had been the last to come in +talked in low tones with his wife, telling her in tender, loving tones +what to do about a number of things after he was gone. + +In a room quite near there were soft sounds as of suppressed weeping. +Something made Ruth sure it was the mother who had been spoken of earlier +in the evening as having come all the way from Texas and arrived too late +to bid her boy good-bye. + +Now and again the sound of a troop train stirred her heart to untold +depths. There is something so weird and sorrowful about its going, as if +the very engine sympathized, screaming its sorrow through the night. Ruth +felt she never would forget that sound. Out there in the dark Cameron +might be even then slipping past them out into the great future. She +wished she could dare ask that sweet faced woman, or that dear little boy +to pray for _him_. Maybe she would next day. + +The two officer's wives seemed to sit up in bed and watch the train. They +had discovered a flash light, and were counting the signals, and quite +excited. Ruth's heart ached for them. It was a peculiarity of this trip +that she found her heart going out to others so much more than it had +ever gone before. She was not thinking of her own pain, although she knew +it was there, but of the pain of the world. + +Her body lying on the strange hard cot ached with weariness in +unaccustomed places, yet she stretched and nestled upon the tan canvas +with satisfaction. She was sharing to a certain extent the hardships of +the soldiers--the hardship of one soldier whose privations hurt her +deeply. It was good to have to suffer--with him. Where was God? Did He +care? Was He in this queer little hostel? Might she ask Him now to set a +guard over Cameron and let him find the help he needed wherewith to go to +meet Death, if Death he must meet? + +She laid her hands together as a little child might do and with wide-open +eyes staring into the dark of the high ceiling she whispered from her +heart: "Oh God, help--_us_--to find _you_!" and unconsciously she, too, +set her soul on the search that night. + +As she closed her eyes a great peace and sense of safety came over her. + +Outside on the road a company of late soldiers, coming home from leave +noised by. Some of them were drunk, and wrangling or singing, and a sense +of their pitiful need of God came over her as she sank into a deep sleep. + + + + +XV + + +She was awakened by the rattling of the pots and pans in the tiny +kitchen. She sat up startled and looked about her. It was very early. The +first sunlight was streaming redly through the window screens, and the +freshness of the morning was everywhere, for all the windows were wide +open. The stillness of the country, broken only by the joyous chorus of +the birds, struck her as a wonderful thing. She lay down again and closed +her eyes to listen. Music with the scent of clover! The cheery little +home noises in the kitchen seemed a pleasant background for the peace of +the Sabbath morning. It was so new and strange. Then came the thought of +camp and the anticipation of the day, with the sharp pang at the memory +that perhaps even now Cameron was gone. Orders were so uncertain. In the +army a man must be ready to move at a moment's notice. What if while she +slept he had passed by on one of those terrible troop trains! + +She sat up again and began to put her hair into order and make herself +presentable. He had promised that if such a thing as a sudden move should +occur he would throw out an old envelope with his name written on it as +they passed by the hut, and she meant to go out to that railroad track +and make a thorough search before the general public were up. + +Mrs. Cameron was still sleeping soundly, one work-worn hand partly +shading her face. Ruth knew instinctively that she must have been weeping +in the night. In the early morning dawn she drooped on the hard little +cot in a crumpled heap, and the girl's heart ached for her sorrow. + +Ruth stole into the kitchen to ask for water to wash her face: + +"I'm sorry," said the pleasant-faced woman who was making coffee and +frying bacon, "but the wash basins are all gone; we've had so many folks +come in. But you can have this pail. I just got this water for myself and +I'll let you have it and I'll get some more. You see, the water pipes +aren't put in the building yet and we have to go down the road quite a +piece to get any. This is all there was left last night." + +She handed Ruth a two-gallon galvanized tin bucket containing a couple of +inches of water, obviously clean, and added a brief towel to the toilet +arrangements. + +Ruth beat a hasty retreat back to the shelter of the piano with her +collection, fearing lest mirth would get the better of her. She could not +help thinking how her aunt would look if she could see her washing her +face in this pittance of water in the bottom of the great big bucket. + +But Ruth Macdonald was adaptable in spite of her upbringing. She managed +to make a most pleasing toilet in spite of the paucity of water, and then +went back to the kitchen with the bucket. + +"If you will show me where you get the water I'll go for some more," she +offered, anxious for an excuse to get out and explore the track. + +The woman in the kitchen was not abashed at the offer. She accepted the +suggestion as a matter of course, taking for granted the same helpful +spirit that seemed to pervade all the people around the place. It did not +seem to strike her as anything strange that this young woman should be +willing to go for water. She was not giving attention to details like +clothes and handbags, and neither wealth nor social station belonged to +her scheme of life. So she smilingly gave the directions to the pump and +went on breaking nice brown eggs into a big yellow bowl. Ruth wished she +could stay and watch, it looked so interesting. + +She took the pail and slipped out the back door, but before she went in +search of water she hurried down to the railroad track and scanned it for +several rods either way, carefully examining each bit of paper, her +breath held in suspense as she turned over an envelope or scrap of paper, +lest it might bear his name. At last with a glad look backward to be sure +she had missed nothing, she hurried up the bank and took her way down the +grassy path toward the pump, satisfied that Cameron had not yet left the +camp. + +It was a lovely summer morning, and the quietness of the country struck +her as never before. The wild roses shimmered along the roadside in the +early sun, and bees and butterflies were busy about their own affairs. It +seemed such a lovely world if it only had not been for _war_. How could +God bear it! She lifted her eyes to the deep blue of the sky, where +little clouds floated lazily, like lovely aviators out for pleasure. Was +God up there? If she might only find Him. What did it all mean, anyway? +Did He really care for individuals? + +It was all such a new experience, the village pump, and the few early +stragglers watching her curiously from the station platform. A couple of +grave soldiers hurried by, and the pang of what was to come shot through +her heart. The thought of the day was full of mingled joy and sorrow. + +They ate a simple little breakfast, good coffee, toast and fried eggs. +Ruth wondered why it tasted so good amid such primitive surroundings; yet +everything was so clean and tidy, though coarse and plain. When they went +to pay their bill the proprietor said their beds would be only +twenty-five cents apiece because they had had no pillow. If they had had +a pillow he would have had to charge them fifty cents. The food was +fabulously cheap. They looked around and wondered how it could be done. +It was obvious that no tips would be received, and that money was no +consideration. In fact, the man told them his orders were merely to pay +expenses. He gave them a parting word of good cheer, and promised to try +and make them more comfortable if they wanted to return that night, and +so they started out for camp. Ruth was silent and thoughtful. She was +wishing she had had the boldness to ask this quaint Christian man some of +the questions that troubled her. He looked as if he knew God, and she +felt as if he might be able to make some things plain to her. But her +life had been so hedged about by conventionalities that it seemed an +impossible thing to her to open her lips on the subject to any living +being--unless it might be to John Cameron. It was queer how they two had +grown together in the last few months. Why could they not have known one +another before? + +Then there came a vision of what her aunt might have thought, and +possible objections that might have come up if they had been intimate +friends earlier. In fact, that, too, seemed practically to have been an +impossibility. How had the war torn away the veil from foolish laws of +social rank and station! Never again could she submit to much of the +system that had been the foundation of her life so far. Somehow she must +find a way to tear her spirit free from things that were not real. The +thought of the social activities that would face her at home under the +guise of patriotism turned her soul sick with loathing. When she went +back home after he was gone she would find a way to do something real in +the world that would make for righteousness and peace somehow. Knitting +and dancing with lonesome soldiers did not satisfy her. + +That was a wonderful day and they made the most of every hour, realizing +that it would probably be the last day they had together for many a long +month or year. + +In the morning they stepped into the great auditorium and attended a +Y.M.C.A. service for an hour, but their hearts were so full, and they all +felt so keenly that this day was to be the real farewell, and they could +not spare a moment of it, that presently they slipped away to the quiet +of the woods once more, for it was hard to listen to the music and keep +the tears back. Mrs. Cameron especially found it impossible to keep her +composure. + +Sunday afternoon she went into the Hostess' House to lie down in the rest +room for a few minutes, and sent the two young people off for a walk by +themselves. + +Cameron took Ruth to the log in the woods and showed her his little +Testament and the covenant he had signed. Then they opened their hearts +together about the eternal things of life; shyly, at first, and then with +the assurance that sympathy brings. Cameron told her that he was trying +to find God, and Ruth told him about their experiences the night before. +She also shyly promised that she would pray for him, although she had +seldom until lately done very much real praying for herself. + +It was a beautiful hour wherein they travelled miles in their friendship; +an hour in which their souls came close while they sat on the log under +the trees with long silences in the intervals of their talk. + +It was whispered at the barracks that evening at five when Cameron went +back for "Retreat" that this was the last night. They would move in the +morning surely, perhaps before. He hurried back to the Hostess' House +where he had left his guests to order the supper for all, feeling that he +must make the most of every minute. + +Passing the officers' headquarters he heard the raucous laugh of +Wainwright, and caught a glimpse of his fat head and neck through a +window. His heart sank! Wainwright was back! Then he had been sent for, +and they must be going that night! + +He fled to the Hostess' House and was silent and distraught as he ate his +supper. Suppose Wainwright should come in while they were there and see +Ruth and spoil those last few minutes together? The thought was +unbearable. + +Nobody wanted much supper and they wandered outside in the soft evening +air. There was a hushed sorrow over everything. Even the roughest +soldiers were not ashamed of tears. Little faded mothers clung to big +burly sons, and their sons smoothed their gray hair awkwardly and were +not ashamed. A pair of lovers sat at the foot of a tree hand in hand and +no one looked at them, except in sympathy. There were partings +everywhere. A few wives with little children in their arms were writing +down hurried directions and receiving a bit of money; but most desolate +of all was the row of lads lined up near the station whose friends were +gone, or had not come at all, and who had to stand and endure the woe of +others. + +"Couldn't we _walk_ out of camp?" asked Ruth suddenly. "Must we go on +that awful trolley? Last night everybody was weeping. I wanted to weep, +too. It is only a few steps from the end of camp to our quarters. Or is +it too far for you, Mrs. Cameron?" + +"Nothing is too far to-night so I may be with my boy one hour longer." + +"Then we must start at once," said Cameron, "there is barely time to +reach the outskirts before the hour when all visitors must be out of +camp. It is over three miles, mother." + +"I can walk it if Ruth can," said the mother smiling bravely. + +He drew an arm of each within his own and started off, glad to be out of +Wainwright's neighborhood, gladder still to have a little longer with +those he loved. + +Out through the deserted streets they passed, where empty barracks were +being prepared for the next draft men; past the Tank Headquarters and the +colored barracks, the storehouses and more barracks just emptied that +afternoon into troop trains; out beyond the great laundry and on up the +cinder road to the top of the hill and the end of the way. + +There at last, in sight of the Military Police, pacing back and forth at +the entrance to camp, with the twinkling lights of the village beyond, +and the long wooded road winding back to camp, they paused to say +good-bye. The cinder path and the woods at its edge made a blot of +greenish black against a brilliant stormy sky. The sun was setting like a +ball of fire behind the trees, and some strange freak of its rays formed +a golden cross resting back against the clouds, its base buried among the +woods, its cross bar rising brilliant against the black of a thunder +cloud. + +"Look!" said Ruth, "it is an omen!" They looked and a great wonder and +awe came upon them. The Cross! + +Cameron looked back and then down at her and smiled. + +"It will lead you safely home," she said softly and laid her hand in his. +He held her fingers close for an instant and his eyes dared some of the +things his lips would never have spoken now even if they two had been +alone. + +The Military Police stepped up: + +"You don't have to stay out here to say good-bye. You can come into the +station right here and sit down. Or if your friends are going to the +village you may go with them, Comrade. I can trust you to come back right +away." + +"I thank you!" Cameron said. "That is the kindest thing that has happened +to me at this camp. I wish I could avail myself of it, but I have barely +time to get back to the barracks within the hour given me. Perhaps--" and +he glanced anxiously across the road toward the village. "Could you just +keep an eye out that my ladies reach the Salvation Army Hut all right?" + +"Sure!" said the big soldier heartily, "I'll go myself. I'm just going +off duty and I'll see them safe to the door." + +He stepped a little away and gave an order to his men, and so they said +good-bye and watched Cameron go down the road into the sunset with the +golden cross blazing above him as he walked lower and lower down the hill +into the shadow of the dark woods and the thunder cloud. But brightly the +cross shone above him as long as they could see, and just before he +stepped into the darkness where the road turned he paused, waved his hat, +and so passed on out of their sight. + + + + +XVI + + +The first night on the water was one of unspeakable horror to Cameron. +They had scarcely begun to feel the roll of the waves before Captain +Wurtz manifested his true nature. At six o'clock and broad daylight, he +ordered the men below, had them locked in, and all the port holes closed! + +The place was packed, the heat was unbearable, the motion increasing all +the time, and the air soon became intolerable. In vain the men protested, +and begged for air. Their requests were all denied. The captain trusted +no man. He treated them as if they were hounds. Wainwright stood by the +captain's side, smoking the inevitable cigarette, his eyes narrowly +watching Cameron, when the order was given; but no onlooker could have +told from Cameron's well trained face whether he had heard or not. Well +he knew where those orders had originated, and instantly he saw a series +of like torments. Wainwright had things in his own hands for this voyage. +Wurtz was his devoted slave. For Wainwright had money, and used it freely +with his captain, and Wainwright well knew how to think up tortures. It +was really the only thing in which he was clever. And here again was an +instance of practice making perfect, for Wainwright had done little else +since his kindergarten days than to think up trials for those who would +not bow to his peevish will. He seemed to be gifted in finding out +exactly what would be the finest kind of torture for any given soul who +happened to be his victim. He had the mind of Nero and the spirit of a +mean little beast. The wonder, the great miracle was, that he had not in +some way discovered that Ruth had been visiting the camp, and taken his +revenge before she left. This was the first thought that came to Cameron +when he found himself shut into the murky atmosphere. The next thought +was that perhaps he had discovered it and this was the result. He felt +himself the Jonah for the company, and as the dreadful hours went by +would fain have cast himself into the sea if there had been a possible +way of escape. + +It was not an American transport on which they were sailing, and the +captain was not responsible for the food, but he might have refused to +allow such meals to be served to his men if he had cared. He did not +care, that was the whole trouble. He ate and drank, principally drank, +and did whatever Wainwright suggested. When a protest came up to him he +turned it down with a laugh, and said: "Oh, that's good enough for a buck +private," and went on with his dirty jokes. + +The supper that first night was abominable, some unpleasant kind of meat +cooked with cabbage, and though they tried to eat it, many of them could +not keep it down. The ship rolled and the men grew sick. The atmosphere +became fetid. Each moment seemed more impossible than the last. There was +no room to move, neither could one get out and away. After supper the men +lay down in the only place there was to lie, two men on the tables, two +men on the benches each side, two men on the floor between, and so on all +over the cabin, packed like eggs in a box. + +They sent a message to their captain begging for air, but he only +laughed, and sent word back they would have air enough before they got +through with this war. + +The night wore on and Cameron lay on his scant piece of floor--he had +given his bench to a sicker man than himself--and tried to sleep. But +sleep did not visit his eyelids. He was thinking, thinking. "I'm going to +find God! I'm going to search for Him with all my heart, and somehow I'm +going to find Him before I'm done. I may never come home, but I'll find +God, anyhow! It's the only thing that makes life bearable!" + +Then would come a wave of hate for his enemy and wipe out all other +thoughts, and he would wrestle in his heart with the desire to kill +Wainwright--yes, and the captain, too. As some poor wretch near him would +writhe and groan in agony his rage would boil up anew, his fists would +clench, and he would half rise to go to the door and overpower that +guard! If only he could get up to where the officers were enjoying +themselves! Oh, to bring them down here and bind them in this loathsome +atmosphere, feed them with this food, stifle them in the dark with closed +port holes! His brain was fertile with thoughts of revenge. Then suddenly +across his memory would flash the words: "If with all your heart ye seek +Him," and he would reach out in longing: Oh, if he could find God, surely +God would stop a thing like this! Did God have no power in His own earth? + +Slowly, painfully, the days dragged by, each worse than the last. In the +mornings the men must go on deck whether they were sick or not, and must +stay there all day, no matter what the weather. If they were wet they +must dry out by the heat of their bodies. There was no possibility of +getting at their kit bags, it was so crowded. No man was allowed to open +one. All they had was the little they carried in their packs. How they +lived through it was a wonder, but live they did. Perhaps the worst +torture of all was the great round cork life preserver in the form of a +cushioned ring which they were obliged to wear night and day. A man could +never lie down comfortably with it on, and if from sheer exhaustion he +fell asleep he awoke with his back aching tortures. The meat and cabbage +was varied twice by steamed fish served in its scales, tails, fins, +heads, and entrails complete. All that they got which was really eatable +was a small bun served in the morning, and boiled potatoes occasionally. + +Nevertheless, these hardships would have been as nothing to Cameron if +they had not represented to him hate, pure and simple. He felt, and +perhaps justly, that if Wainwright had not wished to make him suffer, +these things would surely have been mitigated. + +The day came at last when they stood on the deck and watched the strange +foreign shore draw nearer. Cameron, stern and silent, stood apart from +the rest. For the moment his anger toward Wainwright was forgotten, +though he could hear the swaggering tones from the deck above, and the +noisome laughter of Wurtz in response. Cameron was looking into the face +of the future, wondering what it would mean for him. Out there was the +strange country. What did it hold for him? Was God there? How he wanted +God to go with him and help him face the future! + +There was much delay in landing, and getting ready to move. The men were +weak from sickness and long fasting. They tottered as they stood, but +they had to stand--unless they dropped. They turned wan faces toward one +another and tried to smile. Their fine American pep was gone, hopelessly, +yet they grinned feebly now and then and got off a weak little joke or +two. For the most part they glared when the officers came by--especially +two--those two. The wrath toward them had been brewing long and deep as +each man lay weltering through those unbearable nights. Hardship they +could bear, and pain, and sickness--but tyranny _never!_ + +Someone had written a letter. It was not the first. There had been others +on ship board protesting against their treatment. But this letter was a +warning to that captain and lieutenant. If they ever led these men into +battle _they_ would be killed before the battle began. It was signed by +the company. It had been a unanimous vote. Now as they stood staring +leadenly at the strange sights about them, listening to the new jargon of +the shore, noting the quaint headdresses and wooden sabots of the people +with a fine scorn of indifference, they thought of that letter in hard +phrases of rage. And bitterest of all were the thoughts of John Cameron +as he stood in his place awaiting orders. + +They were hungry, these men, and unfit, when at last the order came to +march, and they had to hike it straight up a hill with a great pack on +their backs. It was not that they minded the packs or the hike or the +hunger. It was the injustice of their treatment that weighed upon them +like a burden that human nature could not bear. They had come to lift +such a burden from the backs of another nation, and they had been treated +like dogs all the way over! Like the low rumbling of oncoming thunder was +the blackness of their countenances as they marched up, up, and up into +Brest. The sun grew hot, and their knees wobbled under them from sheer +weakness; strong men when they started, who were fine and fit, now faint +like babies, yet with spirits unbroken, and great vengeance in their +hearts. They would fight, oh they would fight, yes, but they would see +that captain out of the way first! Here and there by the way some +fell--the wonder is they all did not--and had to be picked up by the +ambulances; and at last they had to be ordered to stop and rest! They! +Who had come over here to flaunt their young strength in the face of the +enemy! _They_ to fall _before the fight was begun_. This, too, they laid +up against their tyrant. + +But there was welcome for them, nevertheless. Flowers and wreaths and +bands of music met them as they went through the town, and women and +little children flung them kisses and threw blossoms in their way. This +revived somewhat the drooping spirits with which they had gone forth, and +when they reached camp and got a decent meal they felt better, and more +reasonable. Still the bitterness was there, against those two who had +used their power unworthily. That night, lying on a hard little cot in +camp Cameron tried to pray, his heart full of longing for God, yet found +the heavens as brass, and could not find words to cry out, except in +bitterness. Somehow he did not feel he was getting on at all in his +search, and from sheer weariness and discouragement he fell asleep at +last. + +Three days and nights of rest they had and then were packed into tiny +freight cars with a space so small that they had to take turns sitting +down. Men had to sleep sitting or standing, or wherever they could find +space to lie down. So they started across France, three days and awful +nights they went, weary and sore and bitter still. But they had air and +they were better fed. Now and then they could stand up and look out +through a crack. Once in a while a fellow could get space to stretch out +for a few minutes. Cameron awoke once and found feet all over him, feet +even in his face. Yet these things were what he had expected. He did not +whine. He was toughened for such experiences, so were the men about him. +The hardness merely brought out their courage. They were getting their +spirits back now as they neared the real scene of action. The old +excitement and call to action were creeping back into their blood. Now +and then a song would pipe out, or a much abused banjo or mandolin would +twang and bring forth their voices. It was only when an officer walked by +or mention would be made of the captain or lieutenant that their looks +grew black again and they fell silent. Injustice and tyranny, the things +they had come out to fight, that they would not forgive nor forget. Their +spirits were reviving but their hate was there. + +At last they detrained and marched into a little town. + +This was France! + +Cameron looked about him in dismay. A scramble of houses and barns, sort +of two-in-one affairs. Where was the beauty of France about which he had +read so often? Mud was everywhere. The streets were deep with it, the +ground was sodden, rain-soaked. It was raining even then. Sunny France! + +It was in a barnyard deep in manure where Cameron's tent was set up. +Little brown tents set close together, their flies dovetailing so that +more could be put in a given space. + +Dog weary he strode over the stakes that held them, and looked upon the +place where he was to sleep. Its floor was almost a foot deep in water! +Rank, ill smelling water! Pah! Was this intention that he should have +been billeted here? Some of the men had dry places. Of course, it might +have just happened, but--well, what was the use. Here he must sleep for +he could not stand up any longer or he would fall over. So he heaped up a +pillow of the muck, spread his blanket out and lay down. At least his +head would be high enough out of the water so that he would not drown in +his sleep, and with his feet in water, and the cold ooze creeping slowly +through his heavy garments, he dropped immediately into oblivion. There +were no prayers that night. His heart was full of hate. The barnyard was +in front of an old stone farm house, and in that farm house were billeted +the captain and his favorite first lieutenant. Cameron could hear his +raucous laugh and the clinking of the wine glasses, almost the gurgle of +the wine. The thought of Wainwright was his last conscious one before he +slept. Was it of intention that he should have been put here close by, +where Wainwright could watch his every move? + +As the days went by and real training began, with French officers working +them hard until they were ready to drop at night, gradually Cameron grew +stolid. It seemed sometimes as if he had always been here, splashing +along in the mud, soaked with rain, sleeping in muck at night, never +quite dry, never free from cold and discomfort, never quite clean, always +training, the boom of the battle afar, but never getting there. Where was +the front? Why didn't they get there and fight and get done with it all? + +The rain poured down, day after day. Ammunition trains rolled by. More +men marched in, more marched on, still they trained. It seemed eons since +he had bade Ruth and his mother good-bye that night at the camp. No mail +had come. Oh, if he could just hear a word from home! If he only had her +picture! They had taken some together at camp and she had promised to +have them developed and send them, but they would probably never reach +him. And it were better if they did not. Wainwright was censor. If he +recognized the writing nothing would ever reach him he was sure. Still, +Wainwright had nothing to do with the incoming mail, only the outgoing. +Well, Wainwright should never censor his letters. He would find a way to +get letters out that Wainwright had never censored, or he would never +send any. + +But the days dragged by in rain and mud and discouragement, and no +letters came. Once or twice he attempted to write a respectable letter to +his mother, but he felt so hampered with the thought of Wainwright having +to see it that he kept it securely in his pocket, and contented himself +with gay-pictured postcards which he had purchased in Brest, on which he +inscribed a few non-committal sentences, always reminding them of the +censor, and his inability to say what he would, and always ending, +"Remember me to my friend, and tell her I have forgotten nothing but +cannot write at present for reasons which I cannot explain." + +At night he lay on his watery couch and composed long letters to Ruth +which he dared not put on paper lest somehow they should come into the +hands of Wainwright. He took great satisfaction in the fact that he had +succeeded in slipping through a post card addressed to herself from +Brest, through the kindness and understanding of a small boy who agreed +to mail it in exchange for a package of chewing gum. Here at the camp +there was no such opportunity, but he would wait and watch for another +chance. Meantime the long separation of miles, and the creeping days, +gave him a feeling of desolation such as he had never experienced before. +He began to grow introspective. He fancied that perhaps he had +overestimated Ruth's friendship for him. The dear memories he had +cherished during the voyage were brought out in the nightwatches and +ruthlessly reviewed, until his own shy hope that the light in her eyes +had been for him began to fade, and in its place there grew a conviction +that happiness of earth was never for him. For, he reasoned, if she +cared, why did she not write? At least a post card? Other fellows were +getting letters now and then. Day after day he waited when the mail was +distributed, but nothing ever came. His mother seemed to have forgotten, +too. Surely, all these weeks, some word would have come through. It was +not in reason that his mail should be delayed beyond others. Could it be +that there was false play somehow? Was Wainwright at the bottom of this? +Or had something happened to his mother, and had Ruth forgotten? + + + + +XVII + + +The weeks rolled by. The drilling went on. At last word came that the +company was to move up farther toward the front. They prepared for a long +hike almost eagerly, not knowing yet what was before them. Anything was +better than this intolerable waiting. + +Solemnly under a leaden sky they gathered; sullenly went through their +inspection; stolidly, dully, they marched away through the rain and mud +and desolation. The nights were cold and their clothes seemed thin and +inadequate. They had not been paid since they came over, so there was no +chance to buy any little comfort, even if it had been for sale. A longing +for sweets and home puddings and pies haunted their waking hours as they +trudged wearily hour after hour, kilometer after kilometer, coming ever +nearer, nearer. + +For two days they hiked, and then entrained for a long uncomfortable +night, and all the time Cameron's soul was crying out within him for the +living God. In these days he read much in the little Testament whenever +there was a rest by the wayside, and he could draw apart from the others. +Ever his soul grew hungrier as he neared the front, and knew his time now +was short. There were days when he had the feeling that he must stop +tramping and do something about this great matter that hung over him, and +then Wainwright would pass by and cast a sharp direction at him with a +sneer in the curl of his moustache, and all the fury of his being would +rise up, until he would clench his fists in helpless wrath, as Wainwright +swaggered on. To think how easily he could drag him in the dust if it +only came to a fair fight between them! But Wainwright had all the +advantage now, with such a captain on his side! + +That night ride was a terrible experience. Cameron, with his thoughts +surging and pounding through his brain, was in no condition to come out +of hardships fresh and fit. He was overcome with weariness when he +climbed into the box car with thirty-nine other fellows just as weary, +just as discouraged, just as homesick. + +There was only room for about twenty to travel comfortably in that car, +but they cheerfully huddled together and took their turns sitting down, +and somewhere along in the night it came Cameron's turn to slide down on +the floor and stretch out for a while; or perhaps his utter weariness +made him drop there involuntarily, because he could no longer keep awake. +For a few minutes the delicious ache of lying flat enveloped him and +carried him away into unconsciousness with a lulling ecstasy. Then +suddenly Wainwright seemed to loom over him and demand that he rise and +let him lie down in his place. It seemed to Cameron that the lethargy +that had stolen over him as he fell asleep was like heavy bags of sand +tied to his hands and feet. He could not rise if he would. He thought he +tried to tell Wainwright that he was unfair. He was an officer and had +better accommodations. What need had he to come back here and steal a +weary private's sleep. But his lips refused to open and his throat gave +out no sound. Wainwright seemed gradually stooping nearer, nearer, with a +large soft hand about his throat, and his little pig eyes gleaming like +two points of green light, his selfish mouth all pursed up as it used to +be when the fellows stole his all-day sucker, and held it tantalizingly +above his reach. One of his large cushiony knees was upon Cameron's chest +now, and the breath was going from him. He gasped, and tried to shout to +the other fellows that this was the time to do away with this tyrant, +this captain's pet, but still only a croak would come from his lips. With +one mighty effort he wrenched his hands and feet into action, and lunged +up at the mighty bully above him, struggling, clutching wildly for his +throat, with but one thought in his dreaming brain, to kill--to kill! +Sound came to his throat at last, action to his sleeping body, and +struggling himself loose from the two comrades who had fallen asleep upon +him and almost succeeded in smothering him, he gave a hoarse yell and got +to his feet. + +They cursed and laughed at him, and snuggled down good naturedly to their +broken slumbers again, but Cameron stood in his corner, glaring out the +tiny crack into the dark starless night that was whirling by, startled +into thoughtfulness. The dream had been so vivid that he could not easily +get rid of it. His heart was boiling hot with rage at his old enemy, yet +something stronger was there, too, a great horror at himself. He had been +about to kill a fellow creature! To what pass had he come! + +And somewhere out in that black wet night, a sweet white face gleamed, +with brown hair blown about it, and the mist of the storm in its locks. +It was as if her spirit had followed him and been present in that dream +to shame him. Supposing the dream had been true, and he had actually +killed Wainwright! For he knew by the wild beating of his heart, by the +hotness of his wrath as he came awake, that nothing would have stayed his +hand if he had been placed in such a situation. + +It was _like_ a dream to hover over a poor worn tempest-tossed soul in +that way and make itself verity; demand that he should live it out again +and again and face the future that would have followed such a set of +circumstances. He had to see Ruth's sad, stern face, the sorrowful eyes +full of tears, the reproach, the disappointment, the alien lifting of her +chin. He knew her so well; could so easily conjecture what her whole +attitude would be, he thought. And then he must needs go on to think out +once more just what relation there might be between his enemy and the +girl he loved--think it out more carefully than he had ever let himself +do before. All he knew about the two, how their home grounds adjoined, +how their social set and standing and wealth was the same, how they had +often been seen together; how Wainwright had boasted! + +All night he stood and thought it out, glowering between the cracks of +the car at the passing whirl, differentiating through the blackness now +and then a group of trees or buildings or a quick flash of furtive light, +but mainly darkness and monotony. It was as if he were tied to the tail +of a comet that dashed hellwards for a billion years, so long the night +extended till the dull gray dawn. There was no God anywhere in that dark +night. He had forgotten about Him entirely. He was perhaps strongly +conscious of the devil at his right hand. + +They detrained and hiked across a bit of wet country that was all +alike--all mud, in the dull light that grew only to accentuate the +ugliness and dreariness of everything. Sunny France! And this was sunny +France! + +At last they halted along a muddy roadside and lined up for what seemed +an interminable age, waiting for something, no one knew what, nor cared. +They were beyond caring, most of them, poor boys! If their mothers had +appeared with a bowl of bread and milk and called them to bed they would +have wept in her arms with joy. They stood apathetically and waited, +knowing that sometime after another interminable age had passed, the red +tape necessary to move a large body like themselves would be unwound, and +everything go on again to another dreary halt somewhere. Would it ever be +over? The long, long trail? + +Cameron stood with the rest in a daze of discouragement, not taking the +trouble to think any more. His head was hot and his chest felt heavy, +reminding him of Wainwright's fat knee; and he had an ugly cough. + +Suddenly someone--a comrade--touched him on the shoulder. + +"Come on in here, Cammie, you're all in. This is the Salvation Army Hut!" + +Cameron turned. Salvation Army! It sounded like the bells of heaven. Ah! +It was something he could think back to, that little Salvation Army Hut +at camp! It brought the tears into his throat in a great lump. He lurched +after his friend, and dropped into the chair where he was pushed, sliding +his arms out on the table before him and dropping his head quickly to +hide his emotion. He couldn't think what was the matter with him. He +seemed to be all giving way. + +"He's all in!" he heard the voice of his friend, "I thought maybe you +could do something for him. He's a good old sport!" + +Then a gentle hand touched his shoulder, lightly, like his mother's hand. +It thrilled him and he lifted his bleared eyes and looked into the face +of a kindly gray-haired woman. + +She was not a handsome woman, though none of the boys would ever let her +be called homely, for they claimed her smile was so glorious that it gave +her precedence in beauty to the greatest belle on earth. There was a real +mother lovelight in her eyes now when she looked at Cameron, and she held +a cup of steaming hot coffee in her hand, real coffee with sugar and +cream and a rich aroma that gave life to his sinking soul. + +"Here, son, drink this!" she said, holding the cup to his lips. + +He opened his lips eagerly and then remembered and drew back: + +"No," he said, drawing away, "I forgot, I haven't any money. We're all +dead broke!" He tried to pull himself together and look like a man. + +But the coffee cup came close to his lips again and the rough motherly +hand stole about his shoulders to support him: + +"That's all right!" she said in a low, matter-of-fact tone. "You don't +need money here, son, you've got home, and I'm your mother to-night. Just +drink this and then come in there behind those boxes and lie down on my +bed and get a wink of sleep. You'll be yourself again in a little while. +That's it, son! You've hiked a long way. Now forget it and take comfort." + +So she soothed him till he surely must be dreaming again, and wondered +which was real, or if perhaps he had a fever and hallucinations. He +reached a furtive hand and felt of the pine table, and the chair on which +he sat to make sure that he was awake, and then he looked into her kind +gray eyes and smiled. + +She led him into the little improvised room behind the counter and tucked +him up on her cot with a big warm blanket. + +"That's all right now, son," she whispered, "don't you stir till you feel +like it. I'll look after you and your friend will let you know if there +is any call for you. Just you rest." + +He thanked her with his eyes, too weary to speak a word, and so he +dropped into a blessed sleep. + +When he awakened slowly to consciousness again there was a smell in the +air of more coffee, delicious coffee. He wondered if it was the same cup, +and this only another brief phase of his own peculiar state. Perhaps he +had not been asleep at all, but had only closed his eyes and opened them +again. But no, it was night, and there were candles lit beyond the +barricade of boxes. He could see their flicker through the cracks, and +shadows were falling here and there grotesquely on the bit of canvas that +formed another wall. There was some other odor on the air, too. He +sniffed delightedly like a little child, something sweet and alluring, +reminding one of the days when mother took the gingerbread and pies out +of the oven. No--doughnuts, that was it! Doughnuts! Not doughnuts just +behind the trenches! How could that be? + +He stirred and raised up on one elbow to look about him. + +There were two other cots in the room, arranged neatly with folded +blankets. A box in between held a few simple toilet articles, a tin basin +and a bucket of water. He eyed them greedily. When had he had a good +wash. What luxury! + +He dropped back on the cot and all at once became aware that there were +strange sounds in the air above the building in which he lay, strange and +deep, yet regular and with a certain booming monotony as if they had been +going on a long time, and he had been too preoccupied to take notice of +them. A queer frenzy seized his heart. This, then, was the sound of +battle in the distance! He was here at the front at last! And that was +the sound of enemy shells! How strange it seemed! How it gripped the soul +with the audacity of it all! How terrible, and yet how exciting to be +here at last! And yet he had an unready feeling. Something was still +undone to prepare him for this ordeal. It was his subconscious self that +was crying out for God. His material self had sensed the doughnuts that +were frying so near to him, and he looked up eagerly to welcome whoever +was coming tiptoing in to see if he was awake, with a nice hot plate of +them for him to eat! + +He swung to a sitting posture, and received them and the cup of hot +chocolate that accompanied them with eagerness, like a little child whose +mother had promised them if he would be good. Strange how easy and +natural it was to fall into the ways of this gracious household. Would +one call it that? It seemed so like a home! + +While he was eating, his buddy slipped in smiling excitedly: + +"Great news, Cammie! We've got a new captain! And, oh boy! He's a peach! +He sat on our louie first off! You oughtta have seen poor old +Wainwright's face when he shut him up at the headquarters. Boy, you'd a +croaked! It was rich!" + +Cameron finished the last precious bite of his third hot doughnut with a +gulp of joy: + +"What's become of Wurtz?" he asked anxiously. + +"Canned, I guess," hazarded the private. "I did hear they took him to a +sanitarium, nervous breakdown, they said. I'll tell the world he'd have +had one for fair if he'd stayed with this outfit much longer. I only wish +they'd have taken his little pet along with him. This is no place for +little Harold and he'll find it out now he's got a real captain. +Good-night! How d'you 'spose he ever got his commission, anyway? Well, +how are you, old top? Feelin' better? I knew they'd fix you up here. +They're reg'ler guys! Well, I guess we better hit the hay. Come on, I'll +show you where your billet is. I looked out for a place with a good +water-tight roof. What d'ye think of the orchestra Jerry is playing out +there on the front? Some noise, eh, what? Say, this little old hut is +some good place to tie up to, eh, pard! I've seen 'em before, that's how +I knew." + +During the days that followed Cameron spent most of his leisure time in +the Salvation Army Hut. + +He did not hover around the victrola as he would probably have done +several months before, nor yet often join his voice in the ragtime song +that was almost continuous at the piano, regardless of nearby shells, and +usually accompanied by another tune on the victrola. He did not hover +around the cooks and seek to make himself needful to them there, placing +himself at the seat of supplies and handy when he was hungry--as did +many. He sat at one of the far tables, often writing letters or reading +his little book, or more often looking off into space, seeing those last +days at camp, and the faces of his mother and Ruth. + +There was more than one reason why he spent much of his time here. The +hut was not frequented much by officers, although they did come +sometimes, and were always welcomed, but never deferred to. Wainwright +would not be likely to be about and it was always a relief to feel free +from the presence of his enemy. But gradually a third reason came to play +a prominent part in bringing him here, and that was the atmosphere. He +somehow felt as if he were among real people who were living life +earnestly, as if the present were not all there was. + +There came a day when they were to move on up to the actual front. +Cameron wrote letters, such as he had not dared to write before, for he +had found out that these women could get them to his people in case +anything should happen to him, and so he left a little letter for Ruth +and one for his mother, and asked the woman with the gray eyes to get +them back home somehow. + +There was not much of moment in the letters. Even thus he dared not speak +his heart for the iron of Wainwright's poison had entered into his soul. +He had begun to think that perhaps, in spite of all her friendliness, +Ruth really belonged to another world, not his world. Yet just her +friendliness meant much to him in his great straight of loneliness. He +would take that much of her, at least, even if it could never be more. He +would leave a last word for her. If behind his written words there was +breaking heart and tender love, she would never dream it. If his soul was +really taking another farewell of her, what harm, since he said no sad +word. Yet it did him good to write these letters and feel a reasonable +assurance that they would sometime reach their destination. + +There was a meeting held that night in the hut. He had never happened to +attend one before, although he had heard the boys say they enjoyed them. +One of his comrades asked him to stay, and a quick glance told him the +fellow needed him, had chosen him for moral support. + +So Cameron sat in a shadowy corner of the crowded room, and listened to +the singing, wild and strong, and with no hint of coming battle in its +full rolling lilt. He noted with satisfaction how the "Long, Long Trail," +and "Pack Up Your Troubles in Your Old Kit Bag" gradually gave place to +"Tell Mother I'll Be There," and "When the Roll is Called Up Yonder," +growing strong and full and solemn in the grand old melody of "Abide With +Me." There were fellows there who but a few hours before had been +shooting crap, whose lips had been loud with cheerful curses. Now they +sat and sang with all their hearts, the heartiest of the lot. It was a +curious psychological study to watch them. Some of them were just as keen +now on the religious side of their natures as they had been with their +sport or their curses. Theirs were primitive natures, easily wrought upon +by the atmosphere of the moment, easily impressed by the solemnity of the +hour, nearer, perhaps, to stopping to think about God and eternity than +ever before in their lives. But there were also others here, thoughtful +fellows who were strong and brave, who had done their duty and borne +their hardships with the best, yet whose faces now were solemn with +earnestness, to whom this meeting meant a last sacrament before they +passed to meet their test. Cameron felt his heart in perfect sympathy +with the gathering, and when the singing stopped for a few minutes and +the clear voice of a young girl began to pray, he bowed his head with a +smart of tears in his eyes. She was a girl who had just arrived that day, +and she reminded him of Ruth. She had pansy-blue eyes and long gold +ripples in her abundant hair. It soothed him like a gentle hand on his +heart to hear her speak those words of prayer to God, praying for them +all as if they were her own brothers, praying as if she understood just +how they felt this night before they went on their way. She was so young +and gently cared for, this girl with her plain soldier's uniform, and her +fearlessness, praying as composedly out there under fire as if she +trusted perfectly that her heavenly Father had control of everything and +would do the best for them all. What a wonderful girl! Or, no--was it +perhaps a wonderful trust? Stay, was it not perhaps a wonderful heavenly +Father? And she had found Him? Perhaps she could tell him the way and how +he had missed it in his search! + +With this thought in his mind he lingered as the most of the rest passed +out, and turning he noticed that the man who had come with him lingered +also, and edged up to the front where the lassie stood talking with a +group of men. + +Then one of the group spoke up boldly: + +"Say, Cap," he addressed her almost reverently, as if he had called her +some queenly name instead of captain, "say, Cap, I want to ask you a +question. Some of those fellows that preached to us have been telling us +that if we go over there, and don't come back it'll be all right with us, +just because we died fighting for liberty. But we don't believe that +dope. Why--d'ye mean to tell me, Cap, that if a fellow has been rotten +all his life he gets saved just because he happened to get shot in a +battle? Why some of us didn't even come over here to fight because we +wanted to; we had to, we were drafted. Do you mean to tell me that makes +it all right over here? I can't see that at all. And we want to know the +truth. You dope it out for us, Cap." + +The young captain lassie slowly shook her head: + +"No, just dying doesn't save you, son." There was a note of tenderness in +that "son" as those Salvation Army lassies spoke it, that put them +infinitely above the common young girl, as if some angelic touch had set +them apart for their holy ministry. It was as if God were using their +lips and eyes and spirits to speak to these, his children, in their +trying hour. + +"You see, it's this way. Everybody has sinned, and the penalty of sin is +death. You all know that?" + +Her eyes searched their faces, and appealed to the truth hidden in the +depths of their souls. They nodded, those boys who were going out soon to +face death. They were willing to tell her that they acknowledged their +sins. They did not mind if they said it before each other. They meant it +now. Yes, they were sinners and it was because they knew they were that +they wanted to know what chances they stood in the other world. + +"But God loved us all so much that He wanted to make a way for us to +escape the punishment," went on the sweet steady voice, seeming to bring +the very love of the Father down into their midst with its forceful, +convincing tone. "And so He sent His son, Jesus Christ, to take our place +and die on the Cross in our stead. Whoever is willing to accept His +atonement may be saved. And it's all up to us whether we will take it or +not. It isn't anything we can do or be. It is just taking Jesus as our +Saviour, believing in Him, and taking Him at His word." + +Cameron lingered and knelt with the rest when she prayed again for them, +and in his own heart he echoed the prayer of acceptance that others were +putting up. As he went out into the black night, and later, on the silent +march through the dark, he was turning it over in his mind. It seemed to +him the simplest, the most sensible explanation of the plan of Salvation +he had ever heard. He wondered if the minister at home knew all this and +had meant it when he tried to explain. But no, that minister had not +tried to explain, he had told him he would grow into it, and here he was +perhaps almost at the end and he had not grown into it yet. That young +girl to-night had said it took only an instant to settle the whole thing, +and she looked as if her soul was resting on it. Why could he not get +peace? Why could he not find God? + +Then out of the dark and into his thoughts came a curse and a sneer and a +curt rebuke from Wainwright, and all his holy and beautiful thoughts +fled! He longed to lunge out of the dark and spring upon that fat, flabby +lieutenant, and throttle him. So, in bitterness of spirit he marched out +to face the foe. + + + + +XVIII + + +When Ruth Macdonald got back from camp she found herself utterly +dissatisfied with her old life. The girls in her social set were full of +war plans. They had one and all enlisted in every activity that was +going. Each one appeared in some pretty and appropriate uniform, and took +the new regime with as much eagerness and enthusiasm as ever she had put +into dancing and dressing. + +Not that they had given up either of those employments. Oh, dear no! When +they were not busy getting up little dances for the poor dear soldier +boys from the nearby camps, they were learning new solo steps wherewith +to entertain those soldier boys when their turn came to go to camp and +keep up the continuous performance that seemed to be necessary to the +cheering of a good soldier. And as for dressing, no one need ever suggest +again a uniform for women as the solution of the high cost of dressing. +The number of dainty devices of gold braid and red stars and silver +tassels that those same staid uniforms developed made plain forever that +the woman who chooses can make even a uniform distinctive and striking +and altogether costly. In short they went into the war with the same +superficial flightiness formerly employed in the social realms. They went +dashing here and there in their high-power cars on solemn errands, with +all the nonchalance of their ignorance and youth, till one, knowing some +of them well, trembled for the errand if it were important. And many of +them were really useful, which only goes to prove that a tremendous +amount of unsuspected power is wasted every year and that unskilled labor +often accomplishes almost as much as skilled. Some of them secured +positions in the Navy Yard, or in other public offices, where they were +thrown delightfully into intimacies with officers, and were able to step +over the conventionalities of their own social positions into wildly +exciting Bohemian adventures under the popular guise of patriotism, +without a rebuke from their elders. There was not a dull hour in the +little town. The young men of their social set might all be gone to war, +but there were others, and the whirl of life went on gaily for the +thoughtless butterflies, who danced and knitted and drove motor cars, and +made bandages and just rejoiced to walk the streets knitting on the +Sabbath day, a gay cretonne knitting bag on arm, and knitting needles +plying industriously as if the world would go naked if they did not work +every minute. Just a horde of rebellious young creatures, who at heart +enjoyed the unwonted privilege of breaking the Sabbath and shocking a few +fanatics, far more than they really cared to knit. But nobody had time to +pry into the quality of such patriotism. There were too many other people +doing the same thing, and so it passed everywhere for the real thing, and +the world whirled on and tried to be gay to cover its deep heartache and +stricken horror over the sacrifice of its sons. + +But Ruth, although she bravely tried for several weeks, could not throw +herself into such things. She felt that they were only superficial. There +might be a moiety of good in all these things, but they were not the real +big things of life; not the ways in which the vital help could be given, +and she longed with her whole soul to get in on it somewhere. + +The first Sabbath after her return from camp she happened into a bit of +work which while it was in no way connected with war work, still helped +to interest her deeply and keep her thinking along the lines that had +been started while she was with John Cameron. + +A quiet, shy, plain little woman, an old member of the church and noted +for good work, came hurrying down the aisle after the morning service and +implored a young girl in the pew just in front of Ruth to help her that +afternoon in an Italian Sunday school she was conducting in a small +settlement about a mile and a half from Bryne Haven: + +"It's only to play the hymns, Miss Emily," she said. "Carrie Wayne has to +go to a funeral. She always plays for me. I wouldn't ask you if I could +play the least mite myself, but I can't. And the singing won't go at all +without someone to play the piano." + +"Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Beck, but I really can't!" pleaded Miss Emily +quickly. "I promised to help out in the canteen work this afternoon. You +know the troop trains are coming through, and Mrs. Martin wanted me to +take her place all the afternoon." + +Mrs. Beck's face expressed dismay. She gave a hasty glance around the +rapidly emptying church. + +"Oh, dear, I don't know what I'll do!" she said. + +"Oh, let them do without singing for once," suggested the carefree Emily. +"Everybody ought to learn to do without something in war time. We +conserve sugar and flour, let the Italians conserve singing!" and with a +laugh at her own brightness she hurried away. + +Ruth reached forward and touched the troubled little missionary on the +arm: + +"Would I do?" she asked. "I never played hymns much, but I could try." + +"Oh! Would you?" A flood of relief went over the woman's face, and Ruth +was instantly glad she had offered. She took Mrs. Beck down to the +settlement in her little runabout, and the afternoon's experience opened +a new world to her. It was the first time she had ever come in contact +with the really poor and lowly of the earth, and she proved herself a +true child of God in that she did not shrink from them because many of +them were dirty and poorly clad. Before the first afternoon was over she +had one baby in her arms and three others hanging about her chair with +adoring glances. They could not talk in her language, but they stared +into her beautiful face with their great dark eyes, and spoke queer +unintelligible words to one another about her. The whole little company +were delighted with the new "pretty lady" who had come among them. They +openly examined her simple lovely frock and hat and touched with shy +furtive fingers the blue ribbon that floated over the bench from her +girdle. Mrs. Beck was in the seventh heaven and begged her to come again, +and Ruth, equally charmed, promised to go every Sunday. For it appeared +that the wayward pianist was very irregular and had to be constantly +coaxed. + +Ruth entered into the work with zest. She took the children's class which +formerly had been with the older ones, and gathering them about her told +them Bible stories till their young eyes bulged with wonder and their +little hearts almost burst with love of her. Love God? Of course they +would. Try to please Jesus? Certainly, if "Mrs. Ruth," as they called +her, said they should. They adored her. + +She fell into the habit of going down during the week and slipping into +their homes with a big basket of bright flowers from her home garden +which she distributed to young and old. Even the men, when they happened +to be home from work, wanted the flowers, and touched them with eager +reverence. Somehow the little community of people so different from +herself filled her thoughts more and more. She began to be troubled that +some of the men drank and beat their wives and little children in +consequence. She set herself to devise ways to keep them from it. She +scraped acquaintance with one or two of the older boys in her own church +and enlisted them to help her, and bought a moving picture machine which +she took to the settlement. She spent hours attending moving picture +shows that she might find the right films for their use. Fortunately she +had money enough for all her schemes, and no one to hinder her good work, +although Aunt Rhoda did object strenuously at first on the ground that +she might "catch something." But Ruth only smiled and said: "That's just +what I'm out for, Auntie, dear! I want to catch them all, and try to make +them live better lives. Other people are going to France. I haven't got a +chance to go yet, but while I stay here I must do something. I can't be +an idler." + +Aunt Rhoda looked at her quizzically. She wondered if Ruth was worried +about one of her men friends--and which one? + +"If you'd only take up some nice work for the Government, dear, such as +the other girls are doing!" she sighed, "work that would bring you into +contact with nice people! You always have to do something queer. I'm sure +I don't know where you got your low tendencies!" + +But Ruth would be off before more could be said. This was an old topic of +Aunt Rhoda's and had been most fully discussed during the young years of +Ruth's life, so that she did not care to enter into it further. + +But Ruth was not fully satisfied with just helping her Italians. The very +week she came back from camp she had gone to their old family physician +who held a high and responsible position in the medical world, and made +her plea: + +"Daddy-Doctor," she said, using her old childish name for him, "you've +got to find a way for me to go over there and help the war. I know I +don't know much about nursing, but I'm sure I could learn. I've taken +care of Grandpa and Auntie a great many times and watched the trained +nurses, and I'm sure if Lalla Farrington and Bernice Brooks could get +into the Red Cross and go over in such a short time I'm as bright as +they." + +"Brighter!" said the old doctor eyeing her approvingly. "But what will +your people say?" + +"They'll have to let me, Daddy-Doctor. Besides, everybody else is doing +it, and you know that has great weight with Aunt Rhoda." + +"It's a hard life, child! You never saw much of pain and suffering and +horror." + +"Well, it's time, then." + +"But those men over there you would have to care for will not be like +your grandfather and aunt. They will be dirty and bloody, and covered +with filth and vermin." + +"Well, what of that!" + +"Could you stand it?" + +"So you think I'm a butterfly, too, do you, Daddy-Doctor? Well, I want to +prove to you that I'm not. I've been doing my best to get used to dirt +and distress. I washed a little sick Italian baby yesterday and helped +it's mother scrub her floor and make the house clean." + +"The dickens you did!" beamed the doctor proudly. "I always knew you had +a lot of grit. I guess you've got the right stuff in you. But say, if I +help you you've got to tell me the real reason why you want to go, or +else--nothing doing! Understand? I know you aren't like the rest, just +wanting to get into the excitement and meet a lot of officers and have a +good time so you can say afterward you were there. You aren't that kind +of a girl. What's the real reason you want to go? Have you got somebody +over there you're interested in?" + +He looked at her keenly, with loving, anxious eyes as her father's friend +who had known her from birth might look. + +Ruth's face grew rosy, and her eyes dropped, but lifted again undaunted: + +"And if I have, Daddy-Doctor, is there anything wrong about that?" + +The doctor frowned: + +"It isn't that fat chump of a Wainwright, is it? Because if it is I +shan't lift my finger to help you go." + +But Ruth's laugh rang out clear and free. + +"Never! dear friend, never! Set your mind at rest about him," she +finished, sobering down. "And if I care for someone, Daddy-Doctor, can't +you trust me I'd pick out someone who was all right?" + +"I suppose so!" grumbled the doctor only half satisfied, "but girls are +so dreadfully blind." + +"I think you'd like him," she hazarded, her cheeks growing pinker, "that +is, you would if there _is_ anybody," she corrected herself laughing. +"But you see, it's a secret yet and maybe always will be. I'm not sure +that he knows, and I'm not quite sure I know myself----" + +"Oh, I see!" said the doctor watching her sweet face with a tender +jealousy in his eyes. "Well, I suppose I'll help you to go, but I'll +shoot him, remember, if he doesn't turn out to be all right. It would +take a mighty superior person to be good enough for you, little girl." + +"That's just what he is," said Ruth sweetly, and then rising and stooping +over him she dropped a kiss on the wavy silver lock of hair that hung +over the doctor's forehead. + +"Thank you, Daddy-Doctor! I knew you would," she said happily. "And +please don't be too long about it. I'm in a great hurry." + +The doctor promised, of course. No one could resist Ruth when she was +like that, and in due time certain forces were set in operation to the +end that she might have her desire. + +Meanwhile, as she waited, Ruth filled her days with thoughts of others, +not forgetting Cameron's mother for whom she was always preparing some +little surprise, a dainty gift, some fruit or flowers, a book that she +thought might comfort and while away her loneliness, a restful ride at +the early evening, all the little things that a thoughtful daughter might +do for a mother. And Cameron's mother wrote him long letters about it all +which would have delighted his heart during those dreary days if they +could only have reached him then. + +Ruth's letters to Cameron were full of the things she was doing, full of +her sweet wise thoughts that seemed to be growing wiser every day. She +had taken pictures of her Italian friends and introduced him to them one +by one. She had filled every page with little word pictures of her daily +life. It seemed a pity that he could not have had them just when he +needed them most. It would have filled her with dismay if she could have +known the long wandering journey that was before those letters before +they would finally reach him; she might have been discouraged from +writing them. + +Little Mrs. Beck was suddenly sent for one Sunday morning to attend her +sister who was very ill, and she hastily called Ruth over the telephone +and begged her to take her place at the Sunday school. Ruth promised to +secure some one to teach the lesson, but found to her dismay that no one +was willing to go at such short notice. And so, with trembling heart she +knelt for a hasty petition that God would guide her and show her how to +lead these simple people in the worship of the day. + +As she stood before them trying to make plain in the broken, mixed +Italian and English, the story of the blind man, which was the lesson for +the day, there came over her a sense of her great responsibility. She +knew that these people trusted her and that what she told them they would +believe, and her heart lifted itself in a sharp cry for help, for light, +to give to them. She felt an appalling lack of knowledge and experience +herself. Where had she been all these young years of her life, and what +had she been doing that she had not learned the way of life so that she +might put it before them? + +Before her sat a woman bowed with years, her face seamed with sorrow and +hard work, and grimed with lack of care, a woman whose husband frequently +beat her for attending Sunday school. There were four men on the back +seat, hard workers, listening with eager eyes, assenting vigorously when +she spoke of the sorrow on the earth. They, too, had seen trouble. They +sat there patient, sad-eyed, wistful; what could she show them out of the +Book of God to bring a light of joy to their faces? There were little +children whose future looked so full of hard knocks and toil that it +seemed a wonder they were willing to grow up knowing what was before +them. The money that had smoothed her way thus far through life was not +for them. The comfortable home and food and raiment and light and luxury +that had made her life so full of ease were almost unknown to them. Had +she anything better to offer them than mere earthly comforts which +probably could never be theirs, no matter how hard they might strive? +But, after all, money and ease could in no way soothe the pain of the +heart, and she had come close enough already to these people to know they +had each one his own heart's pain and sorrow to bear. There was one man +who had lost five little children by death. That death had come in +consequence of dirt and ignorance made it no easier to bear. The dirt and +ignorance had not all been his fault. People who were wiser and had not +cared to help were to blame. What was the remedy for the world's sorrow, +the world's need? + +Ruth knew in a general way that Jesus Christ was the Saviour of the +world, that His name should be the remedy for evil; but how to put it to +them in simple form, ah! that was it. It was Cameron's search for God, +and it seemed that all the world was on the same search. But now to-day +she had suddenly come on some of the footprints of the Man of Sorrow as +He toiled over the mountains of earth searching for lost humanity, and +her own heart echoed His love and sorrow for the world. She cried out in +her helplessness for something to give to these wistful people. + +Somehow the prayer must have been answered, for the little congregation +hung upon her words, and one old man with deep creases in his forehead +and kindly wrinkles around his eyes spoke out in meeting and said: + +"I like God. I like Him good. I like Him all e time wi' mee! All e time. +Ev'e where! Him live in my house!" + +The tears sprang to her eyes with answering sympathy. Here in her little +mission she had found a brother soul, seeking after God. She had another +swift vision then of what the kinship of the whole world meant, and how +Christ could love everybody. + +After Sunday school was out little Sanda came stealing up to her: + +"Mine brudder die," she said sorrowfully. + +"What? Tony? The pretty fat baby? Oh, I'm so sorry!" said Ruth putting +her arm tenderly around the little girl. "Where is your mother? I must go +and see her." + +Down the winding unkept road they walked, the delicately reared girl and +the little Italian drudge, to the hovel where the family were housed, a +tumbled-down affair of ancient stone, tawdrily washed over in some season +past with scaling pink whitewash. The noisy abode of the family pig was +in front of the house in the midst of a trim little garden of cabbage, +lettuce, garlic, and tomatoes. But the dirty swarming little house +usually so full of noise and good cheer was tidy to-day, and no guests +hovered on the brief front stoop sipping from a friendly bottle, or +playing the accordion. There was not an accordion heard in the community, +for there had been a funeral that morning and every one was trying to be +quiet out of respect for the bereaved parents. + +And there in the open doorway, in his shirt sleeves, crouched low upon +the step, sat the head of the house, his swarthy face bowed upon his +knees, a picture of utter despair, and just beyond the mother's head was +bowed upon her folded arms on the window seat, and thus they mourned in +public silence before their little world. + +Ruth's heart went out to the two poor ignorant creatures in their grief +as she remembered the little dark child with the brown curls and glorious +eyes who had resembled one of Raphael's cherubs, and thought how empty +the mother's arms would be without him. + +"Oh, Sanda, tell your mother how sorry I am!" she said to the little +girl, for the mother could not speak or understand English. "Tell her not +to mourn so terribly, dear. Tell her that the dear baby is safe and happy +with Jesus! Tell her she will go to Him some day." + +And as the little girl interpreted her words, suddenly Ruth knew that +what she was speaking was truth, truth she might have heard before but +never recognized or realized till now. + +The mother lifted her sorrowful face all tear swollen and tried a pitiful +smile, nodded to say she understood, then dropped sobbing again upon the +window sill. The father lifted a sad face, not too sober, but blear-eyed +and pitiful, too, in his hopelessness, and nodded as if he accepted the +fact she had told but it gave him no comfort, and then went back to his +own despair. + +Ruth turned away with aching heart, praying: "Oh, God, they need you! +Come and comfort them. I don't know how!" But somehow, on her homeward +way she seemed to have met and been greeted by her Saviour. + +It was so she received her baptism for the work that she was to do. + +The next day permission came for her to go to France, and she entered +upon her brief training. + +"Don't you dread to have her go?" asked a neighbor of Aunt Rhoda. + +"Oh, yes," sighed the good lady comfortably, "but then she is going in +good company, and it isn't as if all the best people weren't doing it. Of +course, it will be great experience for her, and I wouldn't want to keep +her out of it. She'll meet a great many nice people over there that she +might not have met if she had stayed at home. Everybody, they tell me, is +at work over there. She'll be likely to meet the nobility. It isn't as if +we didn't have friends there, too, who will be sure to invite her over +week ends. If she gets tired she can go to them, you know. And really, I +was glad to have something come up to take her away from that miserable +little country slum she has been so crazy about. I was dreadfully afraid +she would catch something there or else they would rob us and murder us +and kidnap her some day." + +And that was the way things presented themselves to Aunt Rhoda! + + + + +XIX + + +All day the shells had been flying thick and fast. When night settled +down the fire was so continuous that one could trace the battle front by +the reflection in the sky. + +Cameron stood at his post under the stars and cried out in his soul for +God. For days now Death had stalked them very close. His comrades had +fallen all about him. There seemed to be no chance for safety. And where +was God? Had He no part in all this Hell on earth? Did He not care? Would +He not be found? All his seeking and praying and reading of the little +book seemed to have brought God no nearer. He was going out pretty soon, +in the natural order of the battle if things kept on, out into the other +life, without having found the God who had promised that if he would +believe, and if he would seek with all his heart he would surely find +Him. + +Once in a Y.M.C.A. hut on a Sunday night a great tenor came to entertain +them, and sang almost the very words that the stranger back in the States +had written in his little book: + + "If with, all your hearts ye truly seek Him ye shall ever surely + find him. Thus saith your God!" + +And ever since that song had rung its wonderful melody down deep in his +heart he had been seeking, seeking in all the ways he knew, with a +longing that would not be satisfied. And yet he seemed to have found +nothing. + +So now as he walked silently beneath the stars, looking up, his soul was +crying out with the longing of despair to find a Saviour, the Christ of +his soul. Amid all the shudderings of the battle-rent earth, the +concussions of the bursting shells, could even God hear a soul's low cry? + +Suddenly out in the darkness in front of him there flickered a tiny +light, only a speck of a glint it was, the spark of a cigarette, but it +was where it had no business to be, and it was Cameron's business to see +that it was not there. They had been given strict orders that there must +be no lights and no sounds to give away their position. Even though his +thoughts were with the stars in his search for God, his senses were keen +and on the alert. He sprang instantly and silently, appearing before the +delinquent like a miracle. + +"Halt!" he said under his breath. "Can that cigarette!" + +"I guess you don't know who I am!" swaggered a voice thick and unnatural +that yet had a familiar sound. + +"It makes no difference who you are, you can't smoke on this post while +I'm on duty. Those are my orders!" and with a quick motion he caught the +cigarette from the loose lips and extinguished it, grinding it into the +ground with his heel. + +"I'll--have you--c-c-co-marshalled fer this!" stuttered the angry +officer, stepping back unsteadily and raising his fist. + +In disgust Cameron turned his back and walked away. How had Wainwright +managed to bring liquor with him to the front? Something powerful and +condensed, no doubt, to steady his nerves in battle. Wainwright had ever +been noted for his cowardice. His breath was heavy with it. How could a +man want to meet death in such a way? He turned to look again, and +Wainwright was walking unsteadily away across the line where they had +been forbidden to go, out into the open where the shells were flying. +Cameron watched him for an instant with mingled feelings. To think he +called himself a man, and dared to boast of marrying such a woman as Ruth +Macdonald. Well, what if he did go into danger and get killed! The world +was better off without him! Cameron's heart was burning hot within him. +His enemy was at last within his power. No one but himself had seen +Wainwright move off in that direction where was certain death within a +few minutes. It was no part of his duty to stop him. He was not supposed +to know he had been drinking. + +The whistle of a shell went ricocheting through the air and Cameron +dropped as he had been taught to do, but lifted his eyes in time to see +Wainwright throw up his arms, drop on the edge of the hill, and +disappear. The shell plowed its way in a furrow a few feet away and +Cameron rose to his feet. Sharply, distinctly, in a brief lull of the din +about him he heard his name called. It sounded from down the hill, a cry +of distress, but it did not sound like Wainwright's voice: + +"Cameron! Come! Help!" + +He obeyed instantly, although, strange to say, he had no thought of its +being Wainwright. He crept cautiously out to the edge of the hill and +looked over. The blare of the heavens made objects below quite visible. +He could see Wainwright huddled as he had fallen. While he looked the +injured man lifted his head, struggled to crawl feebly, but fell back +again. He felt a sense of relief that at last his enemy was where he +could do no more harm. Then, through the dim darkness he saw a figure +coming toward the prostrate form, and stooping over to touch him. It +showed white against the darkness and it paid no heed to the shell that +suddenly whistled overhead. It half lifted the head of the fallen +officer, and then straightened up and looked toward Cameron; and again, +although there was no sound audible now in the din that the battle was +making, he felt himself called. + +A strange thrill of awe possessed him. Was that the Christ out there whom +he had been seeking? And what did he expect of him? To come out there to +his enemy? To the man who had been in many ways the curse of his young +life? + +Suddenly as he still hesitated a verse from his Testament which had often +come to his notice returned clearly to his mind: + +"If thou bringest thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy +brother hath aught against thee, leave there thy gift before the altar. +First be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift." + +Was this, then, what was required of him? Had his hate toward Wainwright +been what had hindered him from finding God? + +There was no time now to argue that this man was not his brother. The man +would be killed certainly if he lay there many minutes. The opportunity +would pass as quickly as it had come. The Christ he sought was out there +expecting him to come, and he must lose no time in going to Him. How +gladly would he have faced death to go to Him! But Wainwright! That was +different! Could it be this that was required of him? Then back in his +soul there echoed the words: "If with all your heart ye truly seek." +Slowly he crept forward over the brow of the hill, and into the light, +going toward that white figure above the huddled dark one; creeping +painfully, with bullets ripping up the earth about him. He was going to +the Christ, with all his heart--yes, all his heart! Even if it meant +putting by his enmity forever! + +Somewhere on the way he understood. + +When he reached the fallen man there was no white figure there, but he +was not surprised nor disappointed. The Christ was not there because he +had entered into his heart. He had found Him at last! + + * * * * * + +Back at the base hospital they told Wainwright one day how Cameron had +crawled with him on his back, out from under the searchlights amid the +shells, and into safety. It was the only thing that saved his life, for +if he had lain long with the wound he had got, there would have been no +chance for him. Wainwright, when he heard it, lay thoughtful for a long +time, a puzzled, half-sullen look on his face. He saw that everybody +considered Cameron a hero. There was no getting away from that the rest +of his life. One could not in decency be an enemy of a man who had saved +one's life. Cameron had won out in a final round. It would not be good +policy not to recognize it. It would be entirely too unpopular. He must +make friends with him. It would be better to patronize him than to be +patronized by him. Perhaps also, down in the depths of his fat selfish +heart there was a little bit of gratitude mixed with it all. For he _did_ +love life, and he _was_ a mortal coward. + +So he sent for Cameron one day, and Cameron came. He did not want to +come. He dreaded the interview worse than anything he had ever had to +face before. But he came. He came with the same spirit he had gone out +into the shell-fire after Wainwright. Because he felt that the Christ +asked it of him. + +He stood stern and grave at the foot of the little hospital cot and +listened while Wainwright pompously thanked him, and told him graciously +that now that he had saved his life he was going to put aside all the old +quarrels and be his friend. Cameron smiled sadly. There was no bitterness +in his smile. Perhaps just the least fringe of amusement, but no +hardness. He even took the bandaged hand that was offered as a token that +peace had come between them who had so long been at war. All the time +were ringing in his heart the words: "With all your heart! With all your +heart!" He had the Christ, what else mattered? + +Somehow Wainwright felt that he had not quite made the impression on this +strong man that he had hoped, and in an impulse to be more than gracious +he reached his good hand under his pillow and brought forth an envelope. + +When Corporal Cameron saw the writing on that envelop he went white under +the tan of the battlefield, but he stood still and showed no other sign: + +"When I get back home I'm going to be married," said the complacent +voice, "and my wife and I will want you to come and take dinner with us +some day. I guess you know who the girl is. She lives in Bryne Haven up +on the hill. Her name is Ruth Macdonald. I've just had a letter from her. +I'll have to write her how you saved my life. She'll want to thank you, +too." + +How could Cameron possibly know that that envelope addressed in Ruth +Macdonald's precious handwriting contained nothing but the briefest word +of thanks for an elaborate souvenir that Wainwright had sent her from +France? + +"What's the matter with Cammie?" his comrades asked one another when he +came back to his company. "He looks as though he had lost his last +friend. Did he care so much for that Wainwright guy that he saved? I'm +sure I don't see what he sees in him. I wouldn't have taken the trouble +to go out after him, would you?" + +Cameron's influence had been felt quietly among his company. In his +presence the men refrained from certain styles of conversation, when he +sat apart and read his Testament they hushed their boisterous talk, and +lately some had come to read with him. He was generally conceded to be +the bravest man in their company, and when a fellow had to die suddenly +he liked Cameron to hold him in his arms. + +So far Cameron had not had a scratch, and the men had come to think he +had a charmed life. More than he knew he was beloved of them all. More +than they knew their respect for him was deepening into a kind of awe. +They felt he had a power with him that they understood not. He was still +the silent corporal. He talked not at all of his new-found experience, +yet it shone in his face in a mysterious light. Even after he came from +Wainwright with that stricken look, there was above it all a glory behind +his eyes that not even that could change. For three days he went into the +thick of the battle, moving from one hairbreadth escape to another with +the calmness of an angel who knows his life is not of earth, and on the +fourth day there came the awful battle, the struggle for a position that +had been held by the enemy for four years, and that had been declared +impregnable from the side of the Allies. + +The boys all fought bravely and many fell, but foremost of them all +passing unscathed from height to height, Corporal Cameron on the lead in +fearlessness and spirit; and when the tide at last was turned and they +stood triumphant among the dead, and saw the enemy retiring in disorder, +it was Cameron who was still in the forefront, his white face and +tattered uniform catching the last rays of the setting sun. + +Later when the survivors had all come together one came to the captain +with a white face and anxious eyes: + +"Captain, where's Cammie? We can't find him anywhere." + +"He came a half hour ago and volunteered to slip through the enemy's +lines to-night and send us back a message," he said in husky tones. + +"But, captain, he was wounded!" + +"He was?" The captain looked up startled. "He said nothing about it!" + +"He wouldn't, of course," said the soldier. "He's that way. But he was +wounded in the arm. I helped him bind it up." + +"How bad?" + +"I don't know. He wouldn't let me look. He said he would attend to it +when he got back." + +"Well, he's taken a wireless in his pocket and crept across No Man's Land +to find out what the enemy is going to do. He's wearing a dead Jerry's +uniform----!" + +The captain turned and brushed the back of his hand across his eyes and a +low sound between a sob and a whispered cheer went up from the gathered +remnant as they rendered homage to their comrade. + + * * * * * + +For three days the messages came floating in, telling vital secrets that +were of vast strategic value. Then the messages ceased, and the anxious +officers and comrades looked in vain for word. Two more days +passed--three--and still no sign that showed that he was alive, and the +word went forth "Missing!" and "Missing" he was proclaimed in the +newspapers at home. + +That night there was a lull in the sector where Cameron's company was +located. No one could guess what was going on across the wide dark space +called No Man's Land. The captain sent anxious messages to other +officers, and the men at the listening posts had no clue to give. It was +raining and a chill bias sleet that cut like knives was driving from the +northeast. Water trickled into the dugouts, and sopped through the +trenches, and the men shuddered their way along dark passages and waited. +Only scattered artillery fire lit up the heavens here and there. It was a +night when all hell seemed let loose to have its way with earth. The +watch paced back and forth and prayed or cursed, and counted the minutes +till his watch would be up. Across the blackness of No Man's Land +pock-marked with great shell craters, there raged a tempest, and even a +Hun would turn his back and look the other way in such a storm. + +Slowly, oh so slow that not even the earth would know it was moving, +there crept a dark creature forth from the enemy line. A thing all of +spirit could not have gone more invisibly. Lying like a stone as +motionless for spaces uncountable, stirring every muscle with a +controlled movement that could stop at any breath, lying under the very +nose of the guard without being seen for long minutes, and gone when next +he passed that way; slowly, painfully gaining ground, with a track of +blood where the stones were cruel, and a holding of breath when the +fitful flare lights lit up the way; covered at times by mud from nearby +bursting shells; faint and sick, but continuing to creep; chilled and +sore and stiff, blinded and bleeding and torn, shell holes and stones and +miring mud, slippery and sharp and never ending, the long, long +trail----! + +"Halt!" came a sharp, clear voice through the night. + +"Pat! Come here! What is that?" whispered the guard. "Now watch! I'm sure +I saw it move----There! I'm going to it!" + +"Better look out!" But he was off and back with something in his arms. +Something in a ragged blood-soaked German uniform. + +They turned a shaded flash light into the face and looked: + +"Pat, it's Cammie!" The guard was sobbing. + +At sound of the dear old name the inert mass roused to action. + +"Tell Cap--they're planning to slip away at five in the morning. Tell him +if he wants to catch them he must do it _now_! Don't mind me! Go quick!" + +The voice died away and the head dropped back. + +With a last wistful look Pat was off to the captain, but the guard +gathered Cameron up in his arms tenderly and nursed him like a baby, +crooning over him in the sleet and dark, till Pat came back with a +stretcher and some men who bore him to the dressing station lying inert +between them. + +While men worked over his silent form his message was flashing to +headquarters and back over the lines to all the posts along that front. +The time had come for the big drive. In a short time a great company of +dark forms stole forth across No Man's Land till they seemed like a wide +dark sea creeping on to engulf the enemy. + +Next morning the newspapers of the world set forth in monstrous type the +glorious victory and how the Americans had stolen upon the enemy and cut +them off from the rest of their army, wiping out a whole salient. + +But while the world was rejoicing, John Cameron lay on his little hard +stretcher in the tent and barely breathed. He had not opened his eyes nor +spoken again. + + + + +XX + + +A nurse stepped up to the doctor's desk: + +"A new girl is here ready for duty. Is there any special place you want +her put?" she asked in a low tone. + +The doctor looked up with a frown: + +"One of those half-trained Americans, I suppose?" he growled. "Well, +every little helps. I'd give a good deal for half a dozen fully trained +nurses just now. Suppose you send her to relieve Miss Jennings. She can't +do any harm to number twenty-nine." + +"Isn't there any hope for him?" the nurse asked, a shade of sadness in +her eyes. + +"I'm afraid not!" said the doctor shortly. "He won't take any interest in +living, that's the trouble. He isn't dying of his wounds. Something is +troubling him. But it's no use trying to find out what. He shuts up like +a clam." + +The new nurse flushed outside the door as she heard herself discussed and +shut her firm little lips in a determined way as she followed the head +nurse down the long rows of cots to an alcove at the end where a screen +shut the patient from view. + +Miss Jennings, a plain girl with tired eyes, gave a few directions and +she was left with her patient. She turned toward the cot and stopped with +a soft gasp of recognition, her face growing white and set as she took in +the dear familiar outline of the fine young face before her. Every word +she had heard outside the doctor's office rang distinctly in her ears. He +was dying. He did not want to live. With another gasp that was like a sob +she slipped to her knees beside the cot, forgetful of her duties, of the +ward outside, or the possible return of the nurses, forgetful of +everything but that he was there, her hero of the years! + +She reached for one of his hands, the one that was not bandaged, and she +laid her soft cheek against it, and held her breath to listen. Perhaps +even now behind that quiet face the spirit had departed beyond her grasp. + +There was no flutter of the eyelids even. She could not see that he still +breathed, although his hand was not cold, and his face when she touched +it still seemed human. She drew closer in an agony of fear, and laid her +lips against his cheek, and then her face softly, with one hand about his +other cheek. Her lips were close to his ear now. + +"John!" she whispered softly, "John! My dear knight!" + +There was a quiver of the eyelids now, a faint hesitating sigh. She +touched her lips to his and spoke his name again. A faint smile flickered +over his features as if he were seeing other worlds of beauty that had no +connection here. But still she continued to press her face against his +cheek and whisper his name. + +At last he opened his eyes, with a bewildered, wondering gaze and saw +her. The old dear smile broke forth: + +"Ruth! You here? Is this--heaven?" + +"Not yet," she whispered softly. "But it's earth, and the war is over! +I've come to help you get well and take you home! It's really you and +you're not 'Missing' any more." + +Then without any excuse at all she laid her lips on his forehead and +kissed him. She had read her permit in his eyes. + +His well arm stole out and pressed her to him hungrily: + +"It's--really you and you don't belong to anybody else?" he asked, +anxiously searching her face for his answer. + +"Oh, John! I never did belong to anybody else but you. All my life ever +since I was a little girl I've thought you were wonderful! Didn't you +know that? Didn't you see down at camp? I'm sure it was written all over +my face." + +His hand crept up and pressed her face close against his: + +"Oh, my darling!" he breathed, "_my_ darling! The most wonderful girl in +the world!" + +When the doctor and nurse pushed back the screen and entered the little +alcove the new nurse sat demurely at the foot of the cot, but a little +while later the voice of the patient rang out joyously: + +"Doctor, how soon can I get out of this. I think I've stayed here about +long enough." + +The wondering doctor touched his patient's forehead, looked at him +keenly, felt his pulse with practised finger, and replied: + +"I've been thinking you'd get to this spot pretty soon. Some beef tea, +nurse, and make it good and strong. We've got to get this fellow on his +feet pretty quick for I can see he's about done lying in bed." + +Then the wounds came in for attention, and Ruth stood bravely and +watched, quivering in her heart over the sight, yet never flinching in +her outward calm. + +When the dressing of the wounds was over the doctor stood back and +surveyed his patient: + +"Well, you're in pretty good shape now, and if you keep on you can leave +here in about a week. Thank fortune there isn't any more front to go back +to! But now, if you don't mind I'd like to know what's made this +marvellous change in you?" + +The light broke out on Cameron's face anew. He looked at the doctor +smiling, and then he looked at Ruth, and reached out his hand to get +hers: + +"You see," he said, "I--we--Miss Macdonald's from my home town and----" + +"I see," said the doctor looking quizzically from one happy face to the +other, "but hasn't she always been from your home town?" + +Cameron twinkled with his old Irish grin: + +"Always," he said solemnly, "but, you see, she hasn't always been here." + +"I see," said the doctor again looking quizzically into the sweet face of +the girl, and doing reverence to her pure beauty with his gaze. "I +congratulate you, corporal," he said, and then turning to Ruth he said +earnestly: "And you, too, Madame. He is a man if there ever was one." + +In the quiet evening when the wards were put to sleep and Ruth sat beside +his cot with her hand softly in his, Cameron opened his eyes from the nap +he was supposed to be taking and looked at her with his bright smile. + +"I haven't told you the news," he said softly. "I have found God. I found +Him out on the battlefield and He is great! It's all true! But you have +to search for Him with _all_ your heart, and not let any little old hate +or anything else hinder you, or it doesn't do any good." + +Ruth, with her eyes shining, touched her lips softly to the back of his +bandaged hand that lay near her and whispered softly: + +"I have found Him, too, dear. And I realize that He has been close beside +me all the time, only my heart was so full of myself that I never saw Him +before. But, oh, hasn't He been wonderful to us, and won't we have a +beautiful time living for Him together the rest of our lives?" + +Then the bandaged hand went out and folded her close, and Cameron uttered +his assent in words too sacred for other ears to hear. + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SEARCH*** + + +******* This file should be named 25866.txt or 25866.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/5/8/6/25866 + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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