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diff --git a/old/peace10.txt b/old/peace10.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..7b20bb6 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/peace10.txt @@ -0,0 +1,3056 @@ +*****The Project Gutenberg Etext of Peace, by Aristophanes***** +#2 in our series by Aristophanes + + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world, be sure to check +the copyright laws for your country before posting these files!! + +Please take a look at the important information in this header. +We encourage you to keep this file on your own disk, keeping an +electronic path open for the next readers. Do not remove this. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**Etexts Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*These Etexts Prepared By Hundreds of Volunteers and Donations* + +Information on contacting Project Gutenberg to get Etexts, and +further information is included below. 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Footnotes have been retained because they +provide the meanings of Greek names, terms and ceremonies and explain +puns and references otherwise lost in translation. Occasional Greek words +in the footnotes have not been included. Footnote numbers, in brackets, +start anew at [1] for each piece of dialogue, and each footnote follows +immediately the dialogue to which it refers, labeled thus: f[1]. + + + + +INTRODUCTION + + + +The 'Peace' was brought out four years after 'The Acharnians' (422 B.C.), +when the War had already lasted ten years. The leading motive is the +same as in the former play--the intense desire of the less excitable and +more moderate-minded citizens for relief from the miseries of war. + +Trygaeus, a rustic patriot, finding no help in men, resolves to ascend +to heaven to expostulate personally with Zeus for allowing this wretched +state of things to continue. With this object he has fed and trained a +gigantic dung-beetle, which he mounts, and is carried, like Bellerophon +on Pegasus, on an aerial journey. Eventually he reaches Olympus, only +to find that the gods have gone elsewhere, and that the heavenly abode +is occupied solely by the demon of War, who is busy pounding up the +Greek States in a huge mortar. However, his benevolent purpose is not in +vain; for learning from Hermes that the goddess Peace has been cast into +a pit, where she is kept a fast prisoner, he calls upon the different peoples +of Hellas to make a united effort and rescue her, and with their help drags +her out and brings her back in triumph to earth. The play concludes +with the restoration of the goddess to her ancient honours, the festivities +of the rustic population and the nuptials of Trygaeus with Opora (Harvest), +handmaiden of Peace, represented as a pretty courtesan. + +Such references as there are to Cleon in this play are noteworthy. +The great Demagogue was now dead, having fallen in the same action as +the rival Spartan general, the renowned Brasidas, before Amphipolis, +and whatever Aristophanes says here of his old enemy is conceived in +the spirit of 'de mortuis nil nisi bonum.' In one scene Hermes is descanting +on the evils which had nearly ruined Athens and declares that +'The Tanner' was the cause of them all. But Trygaeus interrupts him +with the words: + +"Hold-say not so, good master Hermes; +Let the man rest in peace where now he lies. +He is no longer of our world, but yours." + +Here surely we have a trait of magnanimity on the author's part as +admirable in its way as the wit and boldness of his former attacks +had been in theirs. + + + + +DRAMATIS PERSONAE + +TRYGAEUS +TWO SERVANTS OF TRYGAEUS +MAIDENS, DAUGHTERS OF TRYGAEUS +HERMES +WAR +TUMULT +HIEROCLES, a Soothsayer +A SICKLE-MAKER +A CREST-MAKER +A TRUMPET-MAKER +A HELMET-MAKER +A SPEAR-MAKER +SON OF LAMACHUS +SON OF CLEONYMUS +CHORUS OF HUSBANDMEN + + + + +SCENE: A farmyard, two slaves busy beside a dungheap; afterwards, +in Olympus. + + + +FIRST SERVANT +Quick, quick, bring the dung-beetle his cake. + +SECOND SERVANT +Coming, coming. + +FIRST SERVANT +Give it to him, and may it kill him! + +SECOND SERVANT +May he never eat a better. + +FIRST SERVANT +Now give him this other one kneaded up with ass's dung. + +SECOND SERVANT +There! I've done that too. + +FIRST SERVANT +And where's what you gave him just now; surely he can't have devoured +it yet! + +SECOND SERVANT +Indeed he has; he snatched it, rolled it between his feet and +bolted it. + +FIRST SERVANT +Come, hurry up, knead up a lot and knead them stiffly. + +SECOND SERVANT +Oh, scavengers, help me in the name of the gods, if you do not +wish to see me fall down choked. + +FIRST SERVANT +Come, come, another made from the stool of a young scapegrace catamite. +'Twill be to the beetle's taste; he likes it well ground. + +SECOND SERVANT +There! I am free at least from suspicion; none will accuse me of +tasting what I mix. + +FIRST SERVANT +Faugh! come, now another! keep on mixing with all your might. + +SECOND SERVANT +I' faith, no. I can stand this awful cesspool stench no longer, so I +bring you the whole ill-smelling gear. + +FIRST SERVANT +Pitch it down the sewer sooner, and yourself with it. + +SECOND SERVANT +Maybe, one of you can tell me where I can buy a stopped-up nose, +for there is no work more disgusting than to mix food for a +beetle and to carry it to him. A pig or a dog will at least pounce +upon our excrement without more ado, but this foul wretch +affects the disdainful, the spoilt mistress, and won't eat unless I +offer him a cake that has been kneaded for an entire day.... But let +us open the door a bit ajar without his seeing it. Has he done eating? +Come, pluck up courage, cram yourself till you burst! The cursed +creature! It wallows in its food! It grips it between its claws like a +wrestler clutching his opponent, and with head and feet together rolls +up its paste like a rope-maker twisting a hawser. What an indecent, +stinking, gluttonous beast! I know not what angry god let this +monster loose upon us, but of a certainty it was neither Aphrodite nor +the Graces. + +FIRST SERVANT +Who was it then? + +SECOND SERVANT +No doubt the Thunderer, Zeus. + +FIRST SERVANT +But perhaps some spectator, some beardless youth, who thinks +himself a sage, will say, "What is this? What does the beetle mean?" +And then an Ionian,[1] sitting next him, will add, "I think 'tis an +allusion to Cleon, who so shamelessly feeds on filth all by +himself."--But now I'm going indoors to fetch the beetle a drink. + +f[1] 'Peace' was no doubt produced at the festival of the Apaturia, which +was kept at the end of October, a period when strangers were numerous in +Athens. + +SECOND SERVANT +As for me, I will explain the matter to you all, children, youths, +grownups and old men, aye, even to the decrepit dotards. My master +is mad, not as you are, but with another sort of madness, quite a +new kind. The livelong day he looks open-mouthed towards heaven and +never stops addressing Zeus. "Ah! Zeus," he cries, "what are thy +intentions? Lay aside thy besom; do not sweep Greece away!" + +TRYGAEUS +Ah! ah! ah! + +SECOND SERVANT +Hush, hush! Mehinks I hear his voice! + +TRYGAEUS +Oh! Zeus, what art thou going to do for our people? Dost thou +not see this, that our cities will soon be but empty husks? + +SECOND SERVANT +As I told you, that is his form of madness. There you have a +sample of his follies. When his trouble first began to seize him, he +said to himself, "By what means could I go straight to Zeus?" Then he +made himself very slender little ladders and so clambered up towards +heaven; but he soon came hurtling down again and broke his head. +Yesterday, to our misfortune, he went out and brought us back this +thoroughbred, but from where I know not, this great beetle, whose +groom he has forced me to become. He himself caresses it as though +it were a horse, saying, "Oh! my little Pegasus,[1] my noble aerial +steed, may your wings soon bear me straight to Zeus!" But what is my +master doing? I must stoop down to look through this hole. Oh! great +gods! Here! neighbours, run here quick! here is my master flying off +mounted on his beetle as if on horseback. + +f[1] The winged steed of Perseus--an allusion to a lost tragedy of Euripides, +in which Bellerophon was introduced riding on Pegasus. + +TRYGAEUS +Gently, gently, go easy, beetle; don't start off so proudly, or +trust at first too greatly to your powers; wait till you have sweated, +till the beating of your wings shall make your limb joints supple. +Above all things, don't let off some foul smell, I adjure you; else +I would rather have you stop in the stable altogether. + +SECOND SERVANT +Poor master! Is he crazy? + +TRYGAEUS +Silence! silence! + +SECOND SERVANT (TO TRYGAEUS) +But why start up into the air on chance? + +TRYGAEUS +'Tis for the weal of all the Greeks; I am attempting a daring +and novel feat. + +SECOND SERVANT +But what is your purpose? What useless folly! + +TRYGAEUS +No words of ill omen! Give vent to joy and command all men to keep +silence, to close down their drains and privies with new tiles and +to stop up their own vent-holes.[1] + +f[1] Fearing that if it caught a whiff from earth to its liking, the beetle +might descend from the highest heaven to satisfy itself. + +FIRST SERVANT +No, I shall not be silent, unless you tell me where you are going. + +TRYGAEUS +Why, where am I likely to be going across the sky, if it be not to +visit Zeus? + +FIRST SERVANT +For what purpose? + +TRYGAEUS +I want to ask him what he reckons to do for all the Greeks. + +SECOND SERVANT +And if he doesn't tell you? + +TRYGAEUS +I shall pursue him at law as a traitor who sells Greece to the Medes.[1] + +f[1] The Persians and the Spartans were not then allied as the scholiast +states, since a treaty between them was only concluded in 412 B.C., i.e. +eight years after the production of 'Peace'; the great king, however, was +trying to derive advantages out of the dissensions in Greece. + +SECOND SERVANT +Death seize me, if I let you go. + +TRYGAEUS +It is absolutely necessary. + +SECOND SERVANT +Alas! alas! dear little girls, your father is deserting you secretly to go +to heaven. Ah! poor orphans, entreat him, beseech him. + +LITTLE DAUGHTER +Father! father! what is this I hear? Is it true? What! you would +leave me, you would vanish into the sky, you would go to the crows?[1] +'Tis impossible! Answer, father, an you love me. + +f[1] "Go to the crows," a proverbial expression equivalent to our "Go +to the devil." + +TRYGAEUS +Yes, I am going. You hurt me too sorely, my daughters, when you +ask me for bread, calling me your daddy, and there is not the ghost of +an obolus in the house; if I succeed and come back, you will have a +barley loaf every morning--and a punch in the eye for sauce! + +LITTLE DAUGHTER +But how will you make the journey? 'Tis not a ship that will +carry you thither. + +TRYGAEUS +No, but this winged steed will. + +LITTLE DAUGHTER +But what an idea, daddy, to harness a beetle, on which to fly to the gods. + +TRYGAEUS +We see from Aesop's fables that they alone can fly to the abode of +the Immortals.[1] + +f[1] Aesop tells us that the eagle and the beetle were at war; the eagle +devoured the beetle's young and the latter got into its nest and tumbled +out its eggs. On this the eagle complained to Zeus, who advised it to lay its +eggs in his bosom; but the beetle flew up to the abode of Zeus, who, +forgetful of the eagle's eggs, at once rose to chase off the objectionable +insect. The eggs fell to earth and were smashed to bits. + +LITTLE DAUGHTER +Father, father, 'tis a tale nobody can believe! that such a stinking +creature can have gone to the gods. + +TRYGAEUS +It went to have vengeance on the eagle and break its eggs. + +LITTLE DAUGHTER +Why not saddle Pegasus? you would have a more TRAGIC[1] appearance +in +the eyes of the gods. + +f[1] Pegasus is introduced by Euripides both in his 'Andromeda' and his +'Bellerophon.' + +TRYGAEUS +Eh! don't you see, little fool, that then twice the food would +be wanted? Whereas my beetle devours again as filth what I have +eaten myself. + +LITTLE DAUGHTER +And if it fell into the watery depths of the sea, could it +escape with its wings? + +TRYGAEUS (EXPOSING HIMSELF) +I am fitted with a rudder in case of need, and my Naxos beetle +will serve me as a boat.[1] + +f[1] Boats, called 'beetles,' doubtless because in form they resembled these +insects, were built at Naxos. + +LITTLE DAUGHTER +And what harbour will you put in at? + +TRYGAEUS +Why is there not the harbour of Cantharos at the Piraeus?[1] + +f[1] Nature had divided the Piraeus into three basins--Cantharos, +Aphrodisium and Zea. [Cantharos] is Greek for dung-beetle. + +LITTLE DAUGHTER +Take care not to knock against anything and so fall off into +space; once a cripple, you would be a fit subject for Euripides, who +would put you into a tragedy.[1] + +f[1] In allusion to Euripides' fondness for introducing lame heroes in +his plays. + +TRYGAEUS +I'll see to it. Good-bye! (TO THE ATHENIANS.) You, for love of whom +I brave these dangers, do ye neither let wind nor go to stool for the +space of three days, for, if, while cleaving the air, my steed should scent +anything, he would fling me head foremost from the summit of my hopes. +Now come, my Pegasus, get a-going with up-pricked ears and make +your golden bridle resound gaily. Eh! what are you doing? What are you +up to? Do you turn your nose towards the cesspools? Come, pluck up a +spirit; rush upwards from the earth, stretch out your speedy wings and +make straight for the palace of Zeus; for once give up foraging in +your daily food.--Hi! you down there, what are you after now? Oh! my +god! 'tis a man emptying his belly in the Piraeus, close to the house +where the bad girls are. But is it my death you seek then, my death? +Will you not bury that right away and pile a great heap of earth upon +it and plant wild thyme therein and pour perfumes on it? If I were to fall +from up here and misfortune happened to me, the town of Chios[1] would +owe a fine of five talents for my death, all along of your cursed rump. +Alas! how frightened I am! oh! I have no heart for jests. Ah! +machinist, take great care of me. There is already a wind whirling +round my navel; take great care or, from sheer fright, I shall form +food for my beetle.... But I think I am no longer far from the gods; +aye, that is the dwelling of Zeus, I perceive. Hullo! Hi! where is the +doorkeeper? Will no one open? + +f[1] An allusion to the proverbial nickname applied to the Chians [in +Greek]--'crapping Chian.' There is a further joke, of course, in connection +with the hundred and one frivolous pretexts which the Athenians invented +for exacting contributions from the maritime allies. + +(THE SCENE CHANGES AND HEAVEN IS PRESENTED.) + +HERMES +Meseems I can sniff a man. (HE PERCEIVES TRYGAEUS ASTRIDE HIS +BEETLE.) Why, what plague is this? + +TRYGAEUS +A horse-beetle. + +HERMES +Oh! impudent, shameless rascal! oh! scoundrel! triple scoundrel! +the greatest scoundrel in the world! how did you come here? Oh! +scoundrel of all scoundrels! your name? Reply. + +TRYGAEUS +Triple scoundrel. + +HERMES +Your country? + +TRYGAEUS +Triple scoundrel. + +HERMES +Your father? + +TRYGAEUS +My father? Triple scoundrel. + +HERMES +By the Earth, you shall die, unless you tell me your name. + +TRYGAEUS +I am Trygaeus of the Athmonian deme, a good vine-dresser, little +addicted to quibbling and not at all an informer. + +HERMES +Why do you come? + +TRYGAEUS +I come to bring you this meat. + +HERMES +Ah! my good friend, did you have a good journey? + +TRYGAEUS +Glutton, be off! I no longer seem a triple scoundrel to you. Come, +call Zeus. + +HERMES +Ah! ah! you are a long way yet from reaching the gods, for they +moved yesterday. + +TRYGAEUS +To what part of the earth? + +HERMES +Eh! of the earth, did you say? + +TRYGAEUS +In short, where are they then? + +HERMES +Very far, very far, right at the furthest end of the dome of heaven. + +TRYGAEUS +But why have they left you all alone here? + +HERMES +I am watching what remains of the furniture, the little pots and +pans, the bits of chairs and tables, and odd wine-jars. + +TRYGAEUS +And why have the gods moved away? + +HERMES +Because of their wrath against the Greeks. They have located War +in the house they occupied themselves and have given him full power +to do with you exactly as he pleases; then they went as high up as ever +they could, so as to see no more of your fights and to hear no more of +your prayers. + +TRYGAEUS +What reason have they for treating us so? + +HERMES +Because they have afforded you an opportunity for peace more +than once, but you have always preferred war. If the Laconians got +the very slightest advantage, they would exclaim, "By the Twin Brethren! +the Athenians shall smart for this." If, on the contrary, the latter +triumphed and the Laconians came with peace proposals, you would +say, "By Demeter, they want to deceive us. No, by Zeus, we will not +hear a word; they will always be coming as long as we hold Pylos."[1] + +f[1] Masters of Pylos and Sphacteria, the Athenians had brought home +the three hundred prisoners taken in the latter place in 425 B.C.; the Spartans +had several times sent envoys to offer peace and to demand back both +Pylos and the prisoners, but the Athenian pride had caused these +proposals to be long refused. Finally the prisoners had been given up +in 423 B.C., but the War was continued nevertheless. + +TRYGAEUS +Yes, that is quite the style our folk do talk in. + +HERMES +So that I don't know whether you will ever see Peace again. + +TRYGAEUS +Why, where has she gone to then? + +HERMES +War has cast her into a deep pit. + +TRYGAEUS +Where? + +HERMES +Down there, at the very bottom. And you see what heaps of stones +he has piled over the top, so that you should never pull her out again. + +TRYGAEUS +Tell me, what is War preparing against us? + +HERMES +All I know is that last evening he brought along a huge mortar. + +TRYGAEUS +And what is he going to do with his mortar? + +HERMES +He wants to pound up all the cities of Greece in it.... But I must say +good-bye, for I think he is coming out; what an uproar he is making! + +TRYGAEUS +Ah! great gods! let us seek safety; meseems I already hear the +noise of this fearful war mortar. + +WAR (ENTERS, CARRYING A HUGE MORTAR) +Oh! mortals, mortals, wretched mortals, how your jaws will snap! + +TRYGAEUS +Oh! divine Apollo! what a prodigious big mortar! Oh, what misery +the very sight of War causes me! This then is the foe from whom I fly, +who is so cruel, so formidable, so stalwart, so solid on his legs! + +WAR +Oh! Prasiae![1] thrice wretched, five times, aye, a thousand times +wretched! for thou shalt be destroyed this day. + +f[1] An important town in Eastern Laconia on the Argolic gulf, celebrated +for a temple where a festival was held annually in honour of Achilles. +It had been taken and pillaged by the Athenians in the second year of +the Peloponnesian War, 430 B.C. As he utters this imprecation, War +throws some leeks, the root-word of the name Praisae, into his mortar. + +TRYGAEUS +This does not concern us over much; 'tis only so much the worse for +the Laconians. + +WAR +Oh! Megara! Megara! how utterly are you going to be ground up! what +fine mincemeat[1] are you to be made into! + +f[1] War throws some garlic into his mortar as emblematical of the city of +Megara, where it was grown in abundance. + +TRYGAEUS +Alas! alas! what bitter tears there will be among the Megarians![1] + +f[1] Because the smell of bruised garlic causes the eyes to water. + +WAR +Oh, Sicily! you too must perish! Your wretched towns shall be grated +like this cheese.[1] Now let us pour some Attic honey[2] into the mortar. + +f[1] He throws cheese into the mortar as emblematical of Sicily, on account +of its rich pastures. +f[2] Emblematical of Athens. They honey of Mount Hymettus was famous. + +TRYGAEUS +Oh! I beseech you! use some other honey; this kind is worth four obols; +be careful, oh! be careful of our Attic honey. + +WAR +Hi! Tumult, you slave there! + +TUMULT +What do you want? + +WAR +Out upon you! Standing there with folded arms! Take this cuff o' the head +for your pains. + +TUMULT +Oh! how it stings! Master, have you got garlic in your fist, I wonder? + +WAR +Run and fetch me a pestle. + +TUMULT +But we haven't got one; 'twas only yesterday we moved. + +WAR +Go and fetch me one from Athens, and hurry, hurry! + +TUMULT +Aye, I hasten there; if I return without one, I shall have no cause +for laughing. (EXIT.) + +TRYGAEUS +Ah! what is to become of us, wretched mortals that we are? See the +danger that threatens if he returns with the pestle, for War will +quietly amuse himself with pounding all the towns of Hellas to pieces. +Ah! Bacchus! cause this herald of evil to perish on his road! + +WAR +Well? + +TUMULT (WHO HAS RETURNED) +Well, what? + +WAR +You have brought back nothing? + +TUMULT +Alas! the Athenians have lost their pestle--the tanner, who ground Greece +to powder.[1] + +f[1] Cleon, who had lately fallen before Amphipolis, in 422 B.C. + +TRYGAEUS +Oh! Athene, venerable mistress! 'tis well for our city he is dead, +and before he could serve us with this hash. + +WAR +Then go and seek one at Sparta and have done with it! + +TUMULT +Aye, aye, master! + +WAR +Be back as quick as ever you can. + +TRYGAEUS (TO THE AUDIENCE) +What is going to happen, friends? 'Tis the critical hour. Ah! if there +is some initiate of Samothrace[1] among you, 'tis surely the moment +to wish this messenger some accident--some sprain or strain. + +f[1] An island in the Aegean Sea, on the coast of Thrace and opposite +the mouth of the Hebrus; the Mysteries are said to have found their first +home in this island, where the Cabirian gods were worshipped; this cult, +shrouded in deep mystery to even the initiates themselves, has remained +an almost insoluble problem for the modern critic. It was said that +the wishes of the initiates were always granted, and they were feared as +to-day the 'jettatori' (spell-throwers, casters of the evil eye) in Sicily +are feared. + +TUMULT (WHO RETURNS) +Alas! alas! thrice again, alas! + +WAR +What is it? Again you come back without it? + +TUMULT +The Spartans too have lost their pestle. + +WAR +How, varlet? + +TUMULT +They had lent it to their allies in Thrace,[1] who have lost it for them. + +f[1] Brasidas perished in Thrace in the same battle as Cleon at Amphipolis, +422 B.C. + +TRYGAEUS +Long life to you, Thracians! My hopes revive, pluck up courage, +mortals! + +WAR +Take all this stuff away; I am going in to make a pestle for myself. + +TRYGAEUS +'Tis now the time to sing as Datis did, as he abused himself at high +noon, "Oh pleasure! oh enjoyment! oh delights!" 'Tis now, oh Greeks! +the moment when freed of quarrels and fighting, we should rescue sweet +Peace and draw her out of this pit, before some other pestle +prevents us. Come, labourers, merchants, workmen, artisans, strangers, +whether you be domiciled or not, islanders, come here, Greeks of all +countries, come hurrying here with picks and levers and ropes! +'Tis the moment to drain a cup in honour of the Good Genius. + +CHORUS +Come hither all! quick, hasten to the rescue! All peoples of Greece, now is +the time or never, for you to help each other. You see yourselves +freed from battles and all their horrors of bloodshed. The day, hateful +to Lamachus[1], has come. Come then, what must be done? Give your +orders, direct us, for I swear to work this day without ceasing, until +with the help of our levers and our engines we have drawn back into light +the greatest of all goddesses, her to whom the olive is so dear. + +f[1] An Athenian general as ambitious as he was brave. In 423 B.C. he +had failed in an enterprise against Heracles, a storm having destroyed +his fleet. Since then he had distingued himself in several actions, and +was destined, some years later, to share the command of the expedition +to Sicily with Alcibiades and Nicias. + +TRYGAEUS +Silence! if War should hear your shouts of joy he would bound +forth from his retreat in fury. + +CHORUS +Such a decree overwhelms us with joy; how different to the +edict, which bade us muster with provisions for three days.[1] + +f[1] Meaning, to start a military expedition. + +TRYGAEUS +Let us beware lest the cursed Cerberus[1] prevent us even from +the nethermost hell from delivering the goddess by his furious howling, +just as he did when on earth. + +f[1] Cleon. + +CHORUS +Once we have hold of her, none in the world will be able to take her +from us. Huzza! huzza![1] + +f[1] The Chorus insist on the conventional choric dance. + +TRYGAEUS +You will work my death if you don't subdue your shouts. War will +come running out and trample everything beneath his feet. + +CHORUS +Well then! LET him confound, let him trample, let him overturn +everything! We cannot help giving vent to our joy. + +TRYGAEUS +Oh! cruel fate! My friends! in the name of the gods, what possesses +you? Your dancing will wreck the success of a fine undertaking. + +CHORUS +'Tis not I who want to dance; 'tis my legs that bound with delight. + +TRYGAEUS +Enough, an you love me, cease your gambols. + +CHORUS +There! 'Tis over. + +TRYGAEUS +You say so, and nevertheless you go on. + +CHORUS +Yet one more figure and 'tis done. + +TRYGAEUS +Well, just this one; then you must dance no more. + +CHORUS +No, no more dancing, if we can help you. + +TRYGAEUS +But look, you are not stopping even now. + +CHORUS +By Zeus, I am only throwing up my right leg, that's all. + +TRYGAEUS +Come, I grant you that, but pray, annoy me no further. + +CHORUS +Ah! the left leg too will have its fling; well, 'tis but its right. +I am so happy, +so delighted at not having to carry my buckler any more. I sing and +I laugh more than if I had cast my old age, as a serpent does its skin. + +TRYGAEUS +No, 'tis not time for joy yet, for you are not sure of success. +But when you have got the goddess, then rejoice, shout and laugh; +thenceforward you will be able to sail or stay at home, to make love +or sleep, to attend festivals and processions, to play at cottabos,[1] +live like true Sybarites and to shout, Io, io! + +f[1] One of the most favourite games with the Greeks. A stick was set +upright in the ground and to this the beam of a balance was attached +by its centre. Two vessels were hung from the extremities of the beam +so as to balance; beneath these two other and larger dishes were placed +and filled with water, and in the middle of each a brazen figure, called +Manes, was stood. The game consisted in throwing drops of wine from +an agreed distance into one or the other vessel, so that, dragged +downwards by the weight of the liquor, it bumped against Manes. + +CHORUS +Ah! God grant we may see the blessed day. I have suffered so much; +have so oft slept with Phormio[1] on hard beds. You will no longer find +me an acid, angry, hard judge as heretofore, but will find me turned +indulgent and grown younger by twenty years through happiness. +We have been killing ourselves long enough, tiring ourselves out +with going to the Lyceum[2] and returning laden with spear and buckler. +--But what can we do to please you? Come, speak; for 'tis a good Fate +that has named you our leader. + +f[1] A general of austere habits; he disposed of all his property to pay +the cost of a naval expedition, in which he beat the fleet of the foe off +the promontory of Rhium in 429 B.C. +f[2] The Lyceum was a portico ornamented with paintings and surrounded +with gardens, in which military exercises took place. + +TRYGAEUS +How shall we set about removing these stones? + +HERMES +Rash reprobate, what do you propose doing? + +TRYGAEUS +Nothing bad, as Cillicon said.[1] + +f[1] A citizen of Miletus, who betrayed his country to the people of Pirene. +When asked what he purposed, he replied, "Nothing bad," which expression +had therefore passed into a proverb. + +HERMES +You are undone, you wretch. + +TRYGAEUS +Yes, if the lot had to decide my life, for Hermes would know how +to turn the chance.[1] + +f[1] Hermes was the god of chance. + +HERMES +You are lost, you are dead. + +TRYGAEUS +On what day? + +HERMES +This instant. + +TRYGAEUS +But I have not provided myself with flour and cheese yet[1] to +start for death. + +f[1] As the soldiers had to do when starting on an expedition. + +HERMES +You ARE kneaded and ground already, I tell you.[1] + +f[1] That is, you are predicated. + +TRYGAEUS +Hah! I have not yet tasted that gentle pleasure. + +HERMES +Don't you know that Zeus has decreed death for him who is surprised +exhuming Peace? + +TRYGAEUS +What! must I really and truly die? + +HERMES +You must. + +TRYGAEUS +Well then, lend me three drachmae to buy a young pig; I wish to +have myself initiated before I die.[1] + +f[1] The initiated were thought to enjoy greater happiness after death. + +HERMES +Oh! Zeus, the Thunderer![1] + +f[1] He summons Zeus to reveal Trygaeus' conspiracy. + +TRYGAEUS +I adjure you in the name of the gods, master, don't denounce us! + +HERMES +I may not, I cannot keep silent. + +TRYGAEUS +In the name of the meats which I brought you so good-naturedly. + +HERMES +Why, wretched man, Zeus will annihilate me, if I do not shout +out at the top of my voice, to inform him what you are plotting. + +TRYGAEUS +Oh, no! don't shout, I beg you, dear little Hermes.... And what +are you doing, comrades? You stand there as though you were stocks +and stones. Wretched men, speak, entreat him at once; otherwise he +will be shouting. + +CHORUS +Oh! mighty Hermes! don't do it; no, don't do it! If ever you +have eaten some young pig, sacrificed by us on your altars, with +pleasure, may this offering not be without value in your sight to-day. + +TRYGAEUS +Do you not hear them wheedling you, mighty god? + +CHORUS +Be not pitiless toward our prayers; permit us to deliver the goddess. +Oh! the most human, the most generous of the gods, be favourable +toward us, if it be true that you detest the haughty crests and proud brows +of Pisander;[1] we shall never cease, oh master, offering you sacred victims +and solemn prayers. + +f[1] An Athenian captain who later had the recall of Alcibiades decreed by +the Athenian people; in 'The Birds' Aristophanes represents him as a +cowardly beggar. He was the reactionary leader who estalbished the +Oligarchical Government of the Four Hundred, 411 B.C., after the failure of +the Syracusan expedition. + +TRYGAEUS +Have mercy, mercy, let yourself be touched by their words; never was +your worship so dear to them as to-day. + +HERMES +I' truth, never have you been greater thieves.[1] + +f[1] Among other attributes, Hermes was the god of theieves. + +TRYGAEUS +I will reveal a great, a terrible conspiracy against the gods to you. + +HERMES +Hah! speak and perchance I shall let myself be softened. + +TRYGAEUS +Know then, that the Moon and that infamous Sun are plotting against you, +and want to deliver Greece into the hands of the Barbarians. + +HERMES +What for? + +TRYGAEUS +Because it is to you that we sacrifice, whereas the barbarians +worship them; hence they would like to see you destroyed, that they +alone might receive the offerings. + +HERMES +'Tis then for this reason that these untrustworthy charioteers +have for so long been defrauding us, one of them robbing us +of daylight and the other nibbling away at the other's disk.[1] + +f[1] Alluding to the eclipses of the sun and the moon. + +TRYGAEUS +Yes, certainly. So therefore, Hermes, my friend, help us with your +whole heart to find and deliver the captive and we will celebrate +the great Panathenaea[1] in your honour as well as all the festivals of +the other gods; for Hermes shall be the Mysteries, the Dipolia, the +Adonia; everywhere the towns, freed from their miseries, will +sacrifice to Hermes the Liberator; you will be loaded with benefits of +every kind, and to start with, I offer you this cup for libations as +your first present. + +f[1] The Panathenaea were dedicated to Athene, the Mysteries +to Demeter, the Dipolia to Zeus, the Adonia to Aphrodite and Adonis. +Trygaeus promises Hermes that he shall be worshipped in the place +of the other gods. + +HERMES +Ah! how golden cups do influence me! Come, friends, get to work. +To the pit quickly, pick in hand, and drag away the stones. + +CHORUS +We go, but you, cleverest of all the gods, supervise our +labours; tell us, good workman as you are, what we must do; we shall +obey your orders with alacrity. + +TRYGAEUS +Quick, reach me your cup, and let us preface our work by +addressing prayers to the gods. + +HERMES +Oh! sacred, sacred libations! Keep silence, oh! ye people! keep silence! + +TRYGAEUS +Let us offer our libations and our prayers, so that this day may begin +an era of unalloyed happiness for Greece and that he who has bravely +pulled at the rope with us may never resume his buckler. + +CHORUS +Aye, may we pass our lives in peace, caressing our mistresses +and poking the fire. + +TRYGAEUS +May he who would prefer the war, oh Dionysus, be ever drawing +barbed arrows out of his elbows. + +HERMES +If there be a citizen, greedy for military rank and honours who +refuses, oh, divine Peace! to restore you to daylight. may he behave +as cowardly as Cleonymus on the battlefield. + +TRYGAEUS +If a lance-maker or a dealer in shields desires war for the sake +of better trade, may he be taken by pirates and eat nothing but barley. + +CHORUS +If some ambitious man does not help us, because he wants to become +a General, or if a slave is plotting to pass over to the enemy, let his limbs +be broken on the wheel, may he be beaten to death with rods! As for us, +may Fortune favour us! Io! Paean, Io! + +TRYGAEUS +Don't say Paean,[1] but simply, Io. + +f[1] The pun here cannot be kept. The word [in Greek], Paean, resembles +[that for] to strike; hence the word, as recalling the blows and wounds of +the war, seems of ill omen to Trygaeus. + +HERMES +Very well, then! Io! Io! I'll simply say, Io! + +TRYGAEUS +To Hermes, the Graces, Hora, Aphrodite, Eros! + +CHORUS +But not to Ares? + +TRYGAEUS +No. + +CHORUS +Nor doubtless to Enyalius? + +TRYGAEUS +No. + +CHORUS +Come, all strain at the ropes to tear away the stones. Pull! + +HERMES +Heave away, heave, heave, oh! + +CHORUS +Come, pull harder, harder. + +HERMES +Heave away, heave, heave, oh! + +CHORUS +Still harder, harder still. + +HERMES +Heave away, heave! Heave away, heave, heave, oh! + +TRYGAEUS +Come, come, there is no working together. Come! all pull at the +same instant! you Boeotians are only pretending. Beware! + +HERMES +Come, heave away, heave! + +CHORUS +Hi! you two pull as well. + +TRYGAEUS +Why, I am pulling, I am hanging on to the rope and straining +till I am almost off my feet; I am working with all my might. + +CHORUS +Why does not the work advance then? + +TRYGAEUS +Lamachus, this is too bad! You are in the way, sitting there. +We have no use for your Medusa's head, friend.[1] + +f[1] The device on his shield was a Gorgon's head. (See 'The Acharnians.') + +HERMES +But hold, the Argives have not pulled the least bit; they have done +nothing but laugh at us for our pains while they were getting gain +with both hands.[1] + +f[1] Both Sparta and Athens had sought the alliance of the Argives; they +had kept themselves strictly neutral and had received pay from both sides. +But, the year after the production of 'The Wasps,' they openly joined +Athens, had attacked Epidaurus and got cut to pieces by the Spartans. + +TRYGAEUS +Ah! my dear sir, the Laconians at all events pull with vigour. + +CHORUS +But look! only those among them who generally hold the plough-tail +show any zeal,[1] while the armourers impede them in their efforts. + +f[1] These are the Spartan prisoners from Sphacteria, who were lying in +goal at Athens. They were chained fast to large beams of wood. + +HERMES +And the Megarians too are doing nothing, yet look how they are +pulling and showing their teeth like famished curs; The poor wretches +are dying of hunger![1] + +f[1] 'Twas want of force, not want of will. They had suffered more than +any other people from the war. (See 'The Acharnians.') + +TRYGAEUS +This won't do, friends. Come! all together! Everyone to the work +and with a good heart for the business. + +HERMES +Heave away, heave! + +TRYGAEUS +Harder! + +HERMES +Heave away, heave! + +TRYGAEUS +Come on then, by heaven. + +HERMES +Heave away, heave! Heave away, heave! + +CHORUS +This will never do. + +TRYGAEUS +Is it not a shame? some pull one way and others +another. You, Argives there, beware of a thrashing! + +HERMES +Come, put your strength into it. + +TRYGAEUS +Heave away, heave! + +CHORUS +There are many ill-disposed folk among us. + +TRYGAEUS +Do you at least, who long for peace, pull heartily. + +CHORUS +But there are some who prevent us. + +HERMES +Off to the Devil with you, Megarians! The goddess hates you. She +recollects that you were the first to rub her the wrong way. +Athenians, you are not well placed for pulling. There you are too busy +with law-suits; if you really want to free the goddess, get down a +little towards the sea.[1] + +f[1] Meaning, look chiefly to your fleet. This was the counsel that +Themistocles frequently gave the Athenians. + +CHORUS +Come, friends, none but husbandmen on the rope. + +HERMES +Ah! that will do ever so much better. + +CHORUS +He says the thing is going well. Come, all of you, together and +with a will. + +TRYGAEUS +'Tis the husbandmen who are doing all the work. + +CHORUS +Come then, come, and all together! Hah! hah! at last there is some +unanimity in the work. Don't let us give up, let us redouble our efforts. +There! now we have it! Come then, all together! Heave away, heave! +Heave away, heave! Heave away, heave! Heave away, heave! Heave +away, heave! All together! (PEACE IS DRAWN OUT OF THE PIT.) + +TRYGAEUS +Oh! venerated goddess, who givest us our grapes, where am I to +find the ten-thousand-gallon words[1] wherewith to greet thee? I have +none such at home. Oh! hail to thee, Opora,[2] and thee, Theoria![3] +How beautiful is thy face! How sweet thy breath! What gentle fragrance +comes from thy bosom, gentle as freedom from military duty, as +the most dainty perfumes! + +f[1] A metaphor referring to the abundant vintages that peace would +assure. +f[2] The goddess of fruits. +f[3] Aristophanes personifies under this name the sacred ceremonies +in general which peace would allow to be celebrated with due pomp. +Opora and Theoria come on the stage in the wake of Peace, clothed +and decked out as courtesans. + +HERMES +Is it then a smell like a soldier's knapsack? + +TRYGAEUS +Oh! hateful soldier! your hideous satchel makes me sick! it stinks +like the belching of onions, whereas this lovable deity has the odour +of sweet fruits, of festivals, of the Dionysia, of the harmony +of flutes, of the comic poets, of the verses of Sophocles, of the phrases +of Euripides... + +HERMES +That's a foul calumny, you wretch! She detests that framer of +subtleties and quibbles. + +TRYGAEUS +...of ivy, of straining-bags for wine, of bleating ewes, of +provision-laden women hastening to the kitchen, of the tipsy servant +wench, of the upturned wine-jar, and of a whole heap of other good +things. + +HERMES +Then look how the reconciled towns chat pleasantly together, how +they laugh; and yet they are all cruelly mishandled; their wounds +are bleeding still. + +TRYGAEUS +But let us also scan the mien of the spectators; we shall thus +find out the trade of each. + +HERMES +Ah! good gods! Look at that poor crest-maker, tearing at his hair,[1] and +at that pike-maker, who has just broken wind in yon sword-cutler's face. + +f[1] Aristophanes has already shown us the husbandmen and workers +in peaceful trades pulling at the rope the extricate Peace, while +the armourers hindered them by pulling the other way. + +TRYGAEUS +And do you see with what pleasure this sickle-maker is making long +noses at the spear-maker? + +HERMES +Now ask the husbandmen to be off. + +TRYGAEUS +Listen, good folk! Let the husbandmen take their farming tools and +return to their fields as quick as possible, but without either +sword, spear or javelin. All is as quiet as if Peace had been reigning +for a century. Come, let everyone go till the earth, singing the Paean. + +CHORUS +Oh, thou, whom men of standing desired and who art good to +husbandmen, I have gazed upon thee with delight; and now I go to greet +my vines, to caress after so long an absence the fig trees I planted +in my youth. + +TRYGAEUS +Friends, let us first adore the goddess, who has delivered us from +crests and Gorgons;[1] then let us hurry to our farms, having first +bought a nice little piece of salt fish to eat in the fields. + +f[1] An allusion to Lamachus' shield. + +HERMES +By Posidon! what a fine crew they make and dense as the crust of +a cake; they are as nimble as guests on their way to a feast. + +TRYGAEUS +See, how their iron spades glitter and how beautifully their +three-pronged mattocks glisten in the sun! How regularly they align +the plants! I also burn myself to go into the country and to turn over +the earth I have so long neglected.--Friends, do you remember the happy +life that Peace afforded us formerly; can you recall the splendid +baskets of figs, both fresh and dried, the myrtles, the sweet wine, +the violets blooming near the spring, and the olives, for which we +have wept so much? Worship, adore the goddess for restoring you so +many blessings. + +CHORUS +Hail! hail! thou beloved divinity! thy return overwhelms us with +joy. When far from thee, my ardent wish to see my fields again made me +pine with regret. From thee came all blessings. Oh! much desired +Peace! thou art the sole support of those who spend their lives +tilling the earth. Under thy rule we had a thousand delicious +enjoyments at our beck; thou wert the husbandman's wheaten cake and +his safeguard. So that our vineyards, our young fig-tree woods and all +our plantations hail thee with delight and smile at thy coming. +But where was she then, I wonder, all the long time she spent away +from us? Hermes, thou benevolent god, tell us! + +HERMES +Wise husbandmen, hearken to my words, if you want to know why +she was lost to you. The start of our misfortunes was the exile of +Phidias;[1] Pericles feared he might share his ill-luck, he mistrusted +your peevish nature and, to prevent all danger to himself, he threw +out that little spark, the Megarian decree,[2] set the city aflame, and +blew up the conflagration with a hurricane of war, so that the smoke +drew tears from all Greeks both here and over there. At the very +outset of this fire our vines were a-crackle, our casks knocked +together;[3] it was beyond the power of any man to stop the disaster, +and Peace disappeared. + +f[1] Having been commissioned to execute a statue of Athene, Phidias was +accused of having stolen part of the gold given him out of the public +treasury for its decoration. Rewarded for his work by calumny and +banishment, he resolved to make a finer statue than his Athene, +and executed one for the temple of Elis, that of the Olympian Zeus, +which was considered one of the wonders of the world. +f[2] He had issued a decree, which forbade the admission of any Megarian +on Attic soil, and also all trade with that people. The Megarians, +who obtained +all their provisions from Athens, were thus almost reduced to starvation. +f[3] That is, the vineyards were ravaged from the very outset of the war, +and this increased the animosity. + +TRYGAEUS +That, by Apollo! is what no one ever told me; I could not think +what connection there could be between Phidias and Peace. + +CHORUS +Nor I; I know it now. This accounts for her beauty, if she is +related to him. There are so many things that escape us. + +HERMES +Then, when the towns subject to you saw that you were angered +one against the other and were showing each other your teeth like +dogs, they hatched a thousand plots to pay you no more dues and gained +over the chief citizens of Sparta at the price of gold. They, being as +shamelessly greedy as they were faithless in diplomacy, chased off +Peace with ignominy to let loose War. Though this was profitable to +them, 'twas the ruin of the husbandmen, who were innocent of all +blame; for, in revenge, your galleys went out to devour their figs. + +TRYGAEUS +And 'twas with justice too; did they not break down my black fig tree, +which I had planted and dunged with my own hands? + +CHORUS +Yes, by Zeus! yes, 'twas well done; the wretches broke a +chest for me with stones, which held six medimni of corn. + +HERMES +Then the rural labourers flocked into the city[1] and let themselves +be bought over like the others. Not having even a grape-stone to munch +and longing after their figs, they looked towards the orators.[2] +These well knew that the poor were driven to extremity +and lacked even bread; but they nevertheless drove away the Goddess, +each time she reappeared in answer to the wish of the country, +with their loud shrieks that were as sharp as pitchforks; furthermore, +they attacked the well-filled purses of the richest among our allies on +the pretence that they belonged to Brasidas' party.[3] And then you would +tear the poor accused wretch to pieces with your teeth; for the +city, all pale with hunger and cowed with terror, gladly snapped up +any calumny that was thrown it to devour. So the strangers, seeing +what terrible blows the informers dealt, sealed their lips with +gold. They grew rich, while you, alas! you could only see that +Greece was going to ruin. 'Twas the tanner who was the author +of all this woe.[4] + +f[1] Driven in from the country parts by the Lacedaemonian invaders. +f[2] The demagogues, who distributed the slender dole given to the poor, +and by that means exercised undue power over them. +f[3] Meaning, the side of the Spartans. +f[4] Cleon. + +TRYGAEUS +Enough said, Hermes, leave that man in Hades, whither he has +gone; he no longer belongs to us, but rather to yourself.[1] That he was +a cheat, a braggart, a calumniator when alive, why, nothing could be +truer; but anything you might say now would be an insult to one of +your own folk. Oh! venerated Goddess! why art thou silent? + +f[1] It was Hermes who conducted the souls of the dead down to the lower +regions. + +HERMES +And how could she speak to the spectators? She is too angry at all +that they have made her suffer. + +TRYGAEUS +At least let her speak a little to you, Hermes. + +HERMES +Tell me, my dear, what are your feelings with regard to them? +Come, you relentless foe of all bucklers, speak; I am listening to +you. (PEACE WHISPERS INTO HERMES' EAR.) Is that your grievance against +them? Yes, yes, I understand. Hearken, you folk, this is her +complaint. She says, that after the affair of Pylos[1] she came to you +unbidden to bring you a basket full of truces and that you thrice +repulsed her by your votes in the assembly. + +f[1] The Spartans had thrice offered to make peace after the Pylos disaster. + +TRYGAEUS +Yes, we did wrong, but forgive us, for our mind was then +entirely absorbed in leather.[1] + +f[1] i.e. dominated by Cleon. + +HERMES +Listen again to what she has just asked me. Who was her greatest +foe here? and furthermore, had she a friend who exerted himself +to put an end to the fighting? + +TRYGAEUS +Her most devoted friend was Cleonymus; it is undisputed. + +HERMES +How then did Cleonymus behave in fights? + +TRYGAEUS +Oh! the bravest of warriors! Only he was not born of the father he +claims; he showed it quick enough in the army by throwing away +his weapons.[1] + +f[1] There is a pun here that cannot be rendered between [the Greek for] +'one who throws away his weapons' and 'a supposititious child.' + +HERMES +There is yet another question she has just put to me. Who rules +now in the rostrum? + +TRYGAEUS +'Tis Hyperbolus, who now holds empire on the Pnyx. (TO PEACE) +What now? you turn away your head! + +HERMES +She is vexed, that the people should give themselves a wretch of +that kind for their chief. + +TRYGAEUS +Oh! we shall not employ him again; but the people, seeing +themselves without a leader, took him haphazard, just as a man, +who is naked, springs upon the first cloak he sees. + +HERMES +She asks, what will be the result of such a choice of the city? + +TRYGAEUS +We shall be more far-seeing in consequence. + +HERMES +And why? + +TRYGAEUS +Because he is a lamp-maker. Formerly we only directed our +business by groping in the dark; now we shall only deliberate by +lamplight. + +HERMES +Oh! oh! what questions she does order me to put to you! + +TRYGAEUS +What are they? + +HERMES +She wants to have news of a whole heap of old-fashioned things +she left here. First of all, how is Sophocles? + +TRYGAEUS +Very well, but something very strange has happened to him. + +HERMES +What then? + +TRYGAEUS +He has turned from Sophocles into Simonides.[1] + +f[1] Simonides was very avaricious, and sold his pen to the highest bidder. +It seems that Sophocles had also started writing for gain. + +HERMES +Into Simonides? How so? + +TRYGAEUS +Because, though old and broken-down as he is, he would put to +sea on a hurdle to gain an obolus.[1] + +f[1] i.e. he would recoil from no risk to turn an honest penny + +HERMES +And wise Cratinus,[1] is he still alive? + +f[1] A comic poet as well known for his love of wine as for his writings; +he died in 431 B.C., the first year of the war, at the age of ninety-seven. + +TRYGAEUS +He died about the time of the Laconian invasion. + +HERMES +How? + +TRYGAEUS +Of a swoon. He could not bear the shock of seeing one of his casks +full of wine broken. Ah! what a number of other misfortunes our city +has suffered! So, dearest mistress, nothing can now separate us +from thee. + +HERMES +If that be so, receive Opora here for a wife; take her to the +country, live with her, and grow fine grapes together.[1] + +f[1] Opora was the goddess of fruits. + +TRYGAEUS +Come, my dear friend, come and accept my kisses. Tell me, Hermes, +my master, do you think it would hurt me to love her a little, +after so long an abstinence? + +HERMES +No, not if you swallow a potion of penny-royal afterwards.[1] But +hasten to lead Theoria[2] to the Senate; 'twas there she lodged before. + +f[1] The scholiast says fruit may be eaten with impunity in great quantities +if care is taken to drink a decoction of this herb afterwards. +f[2] Theoria is confided to the care of the Senate, because it was this body +who named the deputies appointed to go and consult the oracles beyond +the Attic borders to be present at feats and games. + +TRYGAEUS +Oh! fortunate Senate! Thanks to Theoria, what soups you will +swallow for the space of three days![1] how you will devour meats and +cooked tripe! Come, farewell, friend Hermes! + +f[1] The great festivals, e.g. the Dionysia, lasted three days. Those in +honour of the return of Peace, which was so much desired, could not last +a shorter time. + +HERMES +And to you also, my dear sir, may you have much happiness, and +don't forget me. + +TRYGAEUS +Come, beetle, home, home, and let us fly on a swift wing. + +HERMES +Oh! he is no longer here. + +TRYGAEUS +Where has he gone to then? + +HERMES +He is harnessed to the chariot of Zeus and bears the thunder bolts. + +TRYGAEUS +But where will the poor wretch get his food? + +HERMES +He will eat Ganymede's ambrosia. + +TRYGAEUS +Very well then, but how am I going to descend? + +HERMES +Oh! never fear, there is nothing simpler; place yourself beside +the goddess. + +TRYGAEUS +Come, my pretty maidens, follow me quickly; there are plenty of +folk awaiting you with ready weapons. + +CHORUS +Farewell and good luck be yours! Let us begin by handing over +all this gear to the care of our servants, for no place is less safe +than a theatre; there is always a crowd of thieves prowling around it, +seeking to find some mischief to do. Come, keep a good watch over +all this. As for ourselves, let us explain to the spectators what we +have in our minds, the purpose of our play. + +Undoubtedly the comic poet who mounted the stage to praise himself +in the parabasis would deserve to be handed over to the sticks +of the beadles. Nevertheless, oh Muse, if it be right to esteem +the most honest and illustrious of our comic writers at his proper +value, permit our poet to say that he thinks he has deserved +a glorious renown. First of all, 'tis he who has compelled his +rivals no longer to scoff at rags or to war with lice; and as for +those Heracles, always chewing and ever hungry, those poltroons and +cheats who allow themselves to be beaten at will, he was the first +to cover them with ridicule and to chase them from the stage;[1] he has +also dismissed that slave, whom one never failed to set a-weeping before +you, so that his comrade might have the chance of jeering at his +stripes and might ask, "Wretch, what has happened to your hide? Has +the lash rained an army of its thongs on you and laid your back +waste?" .After having delivered us from all these wearisome ineptitudes +and these low buffooneries, he has built up for us a great art, like +a palace with high towers, constructed of fine phrases, great thoughts +and of jokes not common on the streets. Moreover 'tis not obscure +private persons or women that he stages in his comedies; but, bold +as Heracles, 'tis the very greatest whom he attacks, undeterred by +the fetid stink of leather or the threats of hearts of mud. He has +the right to say, "I am the first ever dared to go straight for that beast +with the sharp teeth and the terrible eyes that flashed lambent fire +like those of Cynna,[2] surrounded by a hundred lewd flatterers, +who spittle-licked him to his heart's content; it had a voice like +a roaring torrent, the stench of a seal, a foul Lamia's testicles and +the rump of a camel.[3] + +I did not recoil in horror at the sight of such a monster, but fought him +relentlessly to win your deliverance and that of the Islanders. Such +are the services which should be graven in your recollection and entitle me +to your thanks. Yet I have not been seen frequenting the wrestling school +intoxicated with success and trying to tamper with young boys;[4] +but I took all my theatrical gear[5] and returned straight home. +I pained folk but little and caused them much amusement; my conscience +rebuked me for nothing. Hence both grown men and youths should be +on my side and I likewise invite the bald[6] to give me their votes; for, +if I triumph, everyone will say, both at table and at festivals, +"Carry this to the bald man, give these cakes to the bald one, do not +grudge the poet whose talent shines as bright as his own bare skull +the share he deserves." + +Oh, Muse! drive the War far from our city and come to preside over +our dances, if you love me; come and celebrate the nuptials of +the gods, the banquets of us mortals and the festivals of the fortunate; +these are the themes that inspire thy most poetic songs. And should +Carcinus come to beg thee for admission with his sons to thy chorus, +refuse all traffic with them; remember they are but gelded birds, +stork-necked dancers, mannikins about as tall as a pat of goat dung, +in fact machine-made poets.[7] Contrary to all expectation, the father +has at last managed to finish a piece, but he owns himself that a cat +strangled it one fine evening.[8] + +Such are the songs[9] with which the Muse with the glorious hair +inspires the able poet and which enchant the assembled populace, +when the spring swallow twitters beneath the foliage;[10] but the god +spare us from the chorus of Morsimus and that of Melanthius![11] Oh! +what a bitter discordancy grated upon my ears that day when the tragic +chorus was directed by this same Melanthius and his brother, these two +Gorgons,[12] these two harpies, the plague of the seas, whose gluttonous +bellies devour the entire race of fishes, these followers of old +women, these goats with their stinking arm-pits. Oh! Muse, spit upon +them abundantly and keep the feast gaily with me. + +f[1] In spite of what he says, Aristophanes has not always disdained this +sort of low comedy--for instance, his Heracles in 'The Birds.' +f[2] A celebrated Athenian courtesan of Aristophanes' day. +f[3] Cleon. These four verses are here repeated from the parabasis +of 'The Wasps,' produced 423 B.C., the year before this play. +f[4] Shafts aimed at certain poets, who used their renown as a means +of seducing young men to grant them pederastic favours. +f[5] The poet supplied everything needful for the production of his piece-- +vases, dresses, masks, etc. +f[6] Aristophanes was bald himself, it would seem. +f[7] Carcinus and his three sons were both poets and dancers. (See the +closing scene of 'The Wasps.') Perhaps relying little on the literary value +of their work, it seems that they sought to please the people by +the magnificence of its staging. +f[8] He had written a piece called 'The Mice,' which he succeeded +with great difficulty in getting played, but it met with no success. +f[9] This passage really follows on the invocation, "Oh, Muse! drive +the War," etc., from which indeed it is only divided by the interpolated +criticism aimed at Carcinus. +f[10] The scholiast informs us that these verses are borrowed from a poet +of the sixth century B.C. +f[11] Sons of Philocles, of the family of Aeschylus, tragic writers, derided +by Aristophanes as bad poets and notorious gluttons. +f[12] The Gorgons were represented with great teeth, and therefore +the same name was given to gluttons. The Harpies, to whom the two +voracious poets are also compared, were monsters with the face of +a woman, the body of a vulture and hooked beak and claws. + +TRYGAEUS +Ah! 'tis a rough job getting to the gods! my legs are as good as +broken through it. How small you were, to be sure, when seen from +heaven! you had all the appearance too of being great rascals; but seen +close, you look even worse. + +SERVANT +Is that you, master? + +TRYGAEUS +So I've been told. + +SERVANT +What has happened to you? + +TRYGAEUS +My legs pain me; it is such a plaguey long journey. + +SERVANT +Oh! tell me... + +TRYGAEUS +What? + +SERVANT +Did you see any other man besides yourself strolling about in +heaven? + +TRYGAEUS +No, only the souls of two or three dithyrambic poets. + +SERVANT +What were they doing up there? + +TRYGAEUS +They were seeking to catch some lyric exordia as they flew by +immersed in the billows of the air. + +SERVANT +Is it true, what they tell us, that men are turned into stars after death? + +TRYGAEUS +Quite true. + +SERVANT +Then who is that star I see over yonder? + +TRYGAEUS +That is Ion of Chios,[1] the author of an ode beginning "Morning"; as soon +as ever he got to heaven, they called him "the Morning Star." + +f[1] A tragic and dithyrambic poet, who had written many pieces, which +had met with great success at Athens. + +SERVANT +And those stars like sparks, that plough up the air as they dart +across the sky?[1] + +f[1] The shooting stars. + +TRYGAEUS +They are the rich leaving the feast with a lantern and a light inside it. +--But hurry up, show this young girl into my house, clean out the bath, +heat some water and prepare the nuptial couch for herself and me. +When 'tis done, come back here; meanwhile I am off to present this one +to the Senate. + +SERVANT +But where then did you get these pretty chattels? + +TRYGAEUS +Where? why in heaven. + +SERVANT +I would not give more than an obolus for gods who have got to +keeping brothels like us mere mortals. + +TRYGAEUS +They are not all so, but there are some up there too who live by this trade. + +SERVANT +Come, that's rich! But I bethink me, shall I give her something to eat? + +TRYGAEUS +No, for she would neither touch bread nor cake; she is used to +licking ambrosia at the table of the gods. + +SERVANT +Well, we can give her something to lick down here too. + +CHORUS +Here is a truly happy old man, as far as I can judge. + +TRYGAEUS +Ah! but what shall I be, when you see me presently dressed for +the wedding? + +CHORUS +Made young again by love and scented with perfumes, your lot +will be one we all shall envy. + +TRYGAEUS +And when I lie beside her and caress her bosoms? + +CHORUS +Oh! then you will be happier than those spinning-tops who call +Carcinus their father.[1] + +f[1] It has already been mentioned that the sons of Carcinus were dancers. + +TRYGAEUS +And I well deserve it; have I not bestridden a beetle to save +the Greeks, who now, thanks to me, can make love at their ease and +sleep peacefully on their farms? + +SERVANT +The girl has quitted the bath; she is charming from head to foot, +both belly and buttocks; the cake is baked and they are kneading +the sesame-biscuit;[1] nothing is lacking but the bridegroom's virility. + +f[1] It was customary at weddings, says Menander, to give the bride +a sesame-caked as an emblem of fruitfulness, because sesame is the most +fruitful of all seeds. + +TRYGAEUS +Let us first hasten to lodge Theoria in the hands of the Senate. + +SERVANT +But tell me, who is this woman? + +TRYGAEUS +Why, 'tis Theoria, with whom we used formerly to go to Brauron,[1] +to get tipsy and frolic. I had the greatest trouble to get hold of her. + +f[1] An Attic town on the east coast, noted for a magnificent temple, +in which stood the statue of Artemis, which Orestes and Iphigenia +had brought from the Tauric Chersonese and also for the Brauronia, +festivals that were celebrated every four years in honour of the goddess. +This was one of the festivals which the Attic people kept with the greatest +pomp, and was an occasion for debauchery. + +SERVANT +Ah! you charmer! what pleasure your pretty bottom will afford me +every four years! + +TRYGAEUS +Let us see, who of you is steady enough to be trusted by the Senate +with the care of this charming wench? Hi! you, friend! what are you +drawing there? + +SERVANT +I am drawing the plan of the tent I wish to erect for myself on +the isthmus.[1] + +f[1] Competitors intending to take part in the great Olympic, Isthmian and +other games took with them a tent, wherein to camp in the open. Further, +there is an obscene allusion which the actor indicates by a gesture. + +TRYGAEUS +Come, who wishes to take the charge of her? No one? Come, Theoria, +I am going to lead you into the midst of the spectators and confide you +to their care. + +SERVANT +Ah! there is one who makes a sign to you. + +TRYGAEUS +Who is it? + +SERVANT +'Tis Ariphrades. He wishes to take her home at once. + +TRYGAEUS +No, I'm sure he shan't. He would soon have her done for, absorbing +all her life-force. Come, Theoria, put down all this gear.[1] + +Senate, Prytanes, look upon Theoria and see what precious blessings +I place in your hands. Hasten to raise its limbs and to immolate +the victim. Admire the fine chimney,[2] it is quite black with smoke, +for 'twas here that the Senate did their cooking before the war. +Now that you have found Theoria again, you can start the most +charming games from to-morrow, wrestling with her on the ground, +either on your hands and feet, or you can lay her on her side, or +stand before her with bent knees, or, well rubbed with oil, you can +boldly enter the lists, as in the Pancratium, belabouring your foe +with blows from your fist or otherwise. The next day you will celebrate +equestrian games, in which the riders will ride side by side, or else +the chariot teams, thrown one on top of another, panting and whinnying, +will roll and knock against each other on the ground, while other rivals, +thrown out of their seats, will fall before reaching the goal, utterly +exhausted by their efforts.--Come, Prytanes, take Theoria. Oh! look how +graciously yonder fellow has received her; you would not have been +in such a hurry to introduce her to the Senate, if nothing were coming +to you through it;[3] you would not have failed to plead some holiday +as an excuse. + +f[1] Doubtless the vessels and other sacrificial objects and implements +with which Theoria was laden in her character of presiding deity +at religious ceremonies. +f[2] Where the meats were cooked after sacrifice; this also marks +the secondary obscene sense he means to convey. +f[3] One of the offices of the Prytanes was to introduce those who asked +admission to the Senate, but it would seem that none could obtain this +favour without payment. Without this, a thousand excuses would be made; +for instance, it would be a public holiday, and consequently the Senate +could receive no one. As there was some festival nearly every day, +he whose purse would not open might have to wait a very long while. + +CHORUS +Such a man as you assures the happiness of all his fellow-citizens. + +TRYGAEUS +When you are gathering your vintages you will prize me even better. + +CHORUS +E'en from to-day we hail you as the deliverer of mankind. + +TRYGAEUS +Wait until you have drunk a beaker of new wine, before you +appraise my true merits. + +CHORUS +Excepting the gods, there is none greater than yourself, and that +will ever be our opinion. + +TRYGAEUS +Yea, Trygaeus of Athmonia has deserved well of you, he has freed +both husbandman and craftsman from the most cruel ills; he has +vanquished Hyberbolus. + +SERVANT +Well then, what must be done now? + +TRYGAEUS +You must offer pots of green-stuff to the goddess to consecrate +her altars. + +SERVANT +Pots of green-stuff[1] as we do to poor Hermes--and even he thinks +the fare but mean? + +f[1] This was only offered to lesser deities. + +TRYGAEUS +What will you offer them? A fatted bull? + +SERVANT +Oh no! I don't want to start bellowing the battle-cry.[1] + +f[1] In the Greek we have a play upon the similarity of the words [for] +a bull, and to shout the battle-cry. + +TRYGAEUS +A great fat swine then? + +SERVANT +No, no. + +TRYGAEUS +Why not? + +SERVANT +We don't want any of the swinishness of Theagenes.[1] + +f[1] Theagenes, of the Piraeus, a hideous, coarse, debauched and evil-living +character of the day. + +TRYGAEUS +What other victim do you prefer then? + +SERVANT +A sheep. + +TRYGAEUS +A sheep? + +SERVANT +Yes. + +TRYGAEUS +But you must give the word the Ionic form. + +SERVANT +Purposely. So that if anyone in the assembly says, "We must go +to war," all may start bleating in alarm, "Oi, oi."[1] + +f[1] That is the vocative of the Ionic form of the word; in Attic Greek +it is contracted throughout. + +TRYGAEUS +A brilliant idea. + +SERVANT +And we shall all be lambs one toward the other, yea, and milder +still toward the allies. + +TRYGAEUS +Then go for the sheep and haste to bring it back with you; I +will prepare the altar for the sacrifice. + +CHORUS +How everything succeeds to our wish, when the gods are willing and +Fortune favours us! how opportunely everything falls out. + +TRYGAEUS +Nothing could be truer, for look! here stands the altar all +ready at my door. + +CHORUS +Hurry, hurry, for the winds are fickle; make haste, while the +divine will is set on stopping this cruel war and is showering on us +the most striking benefits. + +TRYGAEUS +Here is the basket of barley-seed mingled with salt, the chaplet +and the sacred knife; and there is the fire; so we are only waiting +for the sheep. + +CHORUS +Hasten, hasten, for, if Chaeris sees you, he will come without +bidding, he and his flute; and when you see him puffing and panting +and out of breath, you will have to give him something. + +TRYGAEUS +Come, seize the basket and take the lustral water and hurry to +circle round the altar to the right. + +SERVANT +There! 'tis done. What is your next bidding? + +TRYGAEUS +Hold! I take this fire-brand first and plunge it into the water. + +SERVANT +Be quick! be quick! Sprinkle the altar. + +TRYGAEUS +Give me some barley-seed, purify yourself and hand me the basin; +then scatter the rest of the barley among the audience. + +SERVANT +'Tis done. + +TRYGAEUS +You have thrown it? + +SERVANT +Yes, by Hermes! and all the spectators have had their share. + +TRYGAEUS +But not the women? + +SERVANT +Oh! their husbands will give it them this evening.[1] + +f[1] An obscene jest. + +TRYGAEUS +Let us pray! Who is here? Are there any good men?[1] + +f[1] Before sacrificing, the officiating person asked, "Who is here?" +and those present answered, "Many good men." + +SERVANT +Come, give, so that I may sprinkle these. Faith! they are indeed good, +brave men. + +TRYGAEUS +You believe so? + +SERVANT +I am sure, and the proof of it is that we have flooded them with +lustral water and they have not budged an inch.[1] + +f[1] The actors forming the chorus are meant here. + +TRYGAEUS +Come, then, to prayers; to prayers, quick!-- Oh! Peace, mighty queen, +venerated goddess, thou, who presidest over choruses and at nuptials, +deign to accept the sacrifices we offer thee. + +SERVANT +Receive it, greatly honoured mistress, and behave not like the coquettes, +who half open the door to entice the gallants, draw back when they +are stared at, to return once more if a man passes on. But do not act like this +to us. + +TRYGAEUS +No, but like an honest woman, show thyself to thy worshippers, who +are worn with regretting thee all these thirteen years. Hush the noise +of battle, be a true Lysimacha to us.[1] Put an end to this +tittle-tattle, to this idle babble, that set us defying one another. +Cause the Greeks once more to taste the pleasant beverage of friendship +and temper all hearts with the gentle feeling of forgiveness. Make +excellent commodities flow to our markets, fine heads of garlic, +early cucumbers, apples, pomegranates and nice little cloaks for the slaves; +make them bring geese, ducks, pigeons and larks from Boeotia +and baskets of eels from Lake Copais; we shall all rush to buy them, +disputing their possession with Morychus, Teleas, Glaucetes and every +other glutton. Melanthius[2] will arrive on the market last of all; 'twill be, +"no more eels, all sold!" and then he'll start a-groaning and exclaiming +as in his monologue of Medea,[3] "I am dying, I am dying! Alas! +I have let those hidden in the beet escape me!"[4] And won't we laugh? +These are the wishes, mighty goddess, which we pray thee to grant. + +f[1] Lysimacha is derived from [the Greek for] put an end to, and +[the Greek for] fight. +f[2] A tragic poet, reputed a great gourmand. +f[3] A tragedy by Melanthius. +f[4] Eels were cooked with beet.--A parody on some verses in the 'Medea' +of Melanthius. + +SERVANT +Take the knife and slaughter the sheep like a finished cook. + +TRYGAEUS +No, the goddess does not wish it.[1] + +f[1] As a matter of fact, the Sicyonians, who celebrated the festival of Peace +on the sixteenth day of the month of Hecatombeon (July), spilled no blood +upon her altar. + +SERVANT +And why not? + +TRYGAEUS +Blood cannot please Peace, so let us spill none upon her altar. +Therefore go and sacrifice the sheep in the house, cut off the legs +and bring them here; thus the carcase will be saved for the choregus. + +CHORUS +You, who remain here, get chopped wood and everything needed for +the sacrifice ready. + +TRYGAEUS +Don't I look like a diviner preparing his mystic fire? + +CHORUS +Undoubtedly. Will anything that it behooves a wise man to know escape +you? Don't you know all that a man should know, who is distinguished +for his wisdom and inventive daring? + +TRYGAEUS +There! the wood catches. Its smoke blinds poor Stilbides.[1] I am now +going to bring the table and thus be my own slave. + +f[1] A celebrated diviner, who had accompanied the Athenians on their +expedition to Sicily. Thus the War was necessary to make his calling pay +and the smoke of the sacrifice offered to Peace must therefore be +unpleasant to him. + +CHORUS +You have braved a thousand dangers to save your sacred town. All +honour to you! your glory will be ever envied. + +SERVANT +Hold! Here are the legs, place them upon the altar. For myself, +I mean to go back to the entrails and the cakes. + +TRYGAEUS +I'll see to those; I want you here. + +SERVANT +Well then, here I am. Do you think I have been long? + +TRYGAEUS +Just get this roasted. Ah! who is this man, crowned with laurel, +who is coming to me? + +SERVANT +He has a self-important look; is he some diviner? + +TRYGAEUS +No, I' faith! 'tis Hierocles. + +SERVANT +Ah! that oracle-monger from Oreus.[1] What is he going to tell us? + +f[1] A town in Euboea on the channel which separated that island from +Thessaly. + +TRYGAEUS +Evidently he is coming to oppose the peace. + +SERVANT +No, 'tis the odour of the fat that attracts him. + +TRYGAEUS +Let us appear not to see him. + +SERVANT +Very well. + +HIEROCLES +What sacrifice is this? to what god are you offering it? + +TRYGAEUS (TO THE SERVANT) +Silence!--(ALOUD.) Look after the roasting and keep your hands off +the meat. + +HIEROCLES +To whom are you sacrificing? Answer me. Ah! the tail[1] is showing +favourable omens. + +f[1] When sacrificing, the tail was cut off the victim and thrown into +the fire. From the way in which it burnt the inference was drawn as +to whether or not the sacrifice was agreeable to the deity. + +SERVANT +Aye, very favourable, oh, loved and mighty Peace! + +HIEROCLES +Come, cut off the first offering[1] and make the oblation. + +f[1] This was the part that belonged to the priests and diviners. As one +of the latter class, Hierocles is in haste to see this piece cut off. + +TRYGAEUS +'Tis not roasted enough. + +HIEROCLES +Yea, truly, 'tis done to a turn. + +TRYGAEUS +Mind your own business, friend! (TO THE SERVANT.) Cut away. Where is +the table? Bring the libations. + +HIEROCLES +The tongue is cut separately. + +TRYGAEUS +We know all that. But just listen to one piece of advice. + +HIEROCLES +And that is? + +TRYGAEUS +Don't talk, for 'tis divine Peace to whom we are sacrificing. + +HIEROCLES +Oh! wretched mortals, oh, you idiots! + +TRYGAEUS +Keep such ugly terms for yourself. + +HIEROCLES +What! you are so ignorant you don't understand the will of the +gods and you make a treaty, you, who are men, with apes, who are +full of malice?[1] + +f[1] The Spartans. + +TRYGAEUS +Ha, ha, ha! + +HIEROCLES +What are you laughing at? + +TRYGAEUS +Ha, ha! your apes amuse me! + +HIEROCLES +You simple pigeons, you trust yourselves to foxes, who are all +craft, both in mind and heart. + +TRYGAEUS +Oh, you trouble-maker! may your lungs get as hot as this meat! + +HIEROCLES +Nay, nay! if only the Nymphs had not fooled Bacis, and Bacis +mortal men; and if the Nymphs had not tricked Bacis a second time...[1] + +f[1] Emphatic pathos, incomprehensible even to the diviner himself; +this is a satire on the obscure style of the oracles. Bacis was a famous +Boeotian diviner. + +TRYGAEUS +May the plague seize you, if you don't stop wearying us with your Bacis! + +HIEROCLES +...it would not have been written in the book of Fate that the +bends of Peace must be broken; but first... + +TRYGAEUS +The meat must be dusted with salt. + +HIEROCLES +...it does not please the blessed gods that we should stop the War until +the wolf uniteth with the sheep. + +TRYGAEUS +How, you cursed animal, could the wolf ever unite with the sheep? + +HIEROCLES +As long as the wood-bug gives off a fetid odour, when it flies; as +long as the noisy bitch is forced by nature to litter blind pups, so +long shall peace be forbidden. + +TRYGAEUS +Then what should be done? Not to stop War would be to leave it +to the decision of chance which of the two people should suffer the most, +whereas by uniting under a treaty, we share the empire of Greece. + +HIEROCLES +You will never make the crab walk straight. + +TRYGAEUS +You shall no longer be fed at the Prytaneum; the war done, +oracles are not wanted. + +HIEROCLES +You will never smooth the rough spikes of the hedgehog. + +TRYGAEUS +Will you never stop fooling the Athenians? + +HIEROCLES +What oracle ordered you to burn these joints of mutton in honour +of the gods? + +TRYGAEUS +This grand oracle of Homer's: "Thus vanished the dark war-clouds +and we offered a sacrifice to new-born Peace. When the flame had +consumed the thighs of the victim and its inwards had appeased our +hunger, we poured out the libations of wine." 'Twas I who arranged +the sacred rites, but none offered the shining cup to the diviner.[1] + +f[1] Of course this is not a bona fide quotation, but a whimsical +adaptatioin of various Homeric verses; the last is a coinage of his own, +and means, that he is to have no part, either in the flesh of the victim or +in the wine of the libations. + +HIEROCLES +I care little for that. 'Tis not the Sibyl who spoke it.[1] + +f[1] Probably the Sibyl of Delphi is meant. + +TRYGAEUS +Wise Homer has also said: "He who delights in the horrors of civil +war has neither country nor laws nor home." What noble words! + +HIEROCLES +Beware lest the kite turn your brain and rob... + +TRYGAEUS +Look out, slave! This oracle threatens our meat. Quick, pour the libation, +and give me some of the inwards. + +HIEROCLES +I too will help myself to a bit, if you like. + +TRYGAEUS +The libation! the libation! + +HIEROCLES +Pour out also for me and give me some of this meat. + +TRYGAEUS +No, the blessed gods won't allow it yet; let us drink; and as for you, +get you gone, for 'tis their will. Mighty Peace! stay ever in our midst. + +HIEROCLES +Bring the tongue hither. + +TRYGAEUS +Relieve us of your own. + +HIEROCLES +The libation. + +TRYGAEUS +Here! and this into the bargain (STRIKES HIM). + +HIEROCLES +You will not give me any meat? + +TRYGAEUS +We cannot give you any until the wolf unites with the sheep. + +HIEROCLES +I will embrace your knees. + +TRYGAEUS +'Tis lost labour, good fellow; you will never smooth the rough +spikes of the hedgehog.... Come, spectators, join us in our feast. + +HIEROCLES +And what am I to do? + +TRYGAEUS +You? go and eat the Sibyl. + +HIEROCLES +No, by the Earth! no, you shall not eat without me; if you do not give, +I take; 'tis common property. + +TRYGAEUS (TO THE SERVANT) +Strike, strike this Bacis, this humbugging soothsayer. + +HIEROCLES +I take to witness... + +TRYGAEUS +And I also, that you are a glutton and an impostor. Hold him tight +and beat the impostor with a stick. + +SERVANT +You look to that; I will snatch the skin from him which he has stolen +from us.[1] Are you going to let go that skin, you priest from hell! do you +hear! Oh! what a fine crow has come from Oreus! Stretch your wings +quickly for Elymnium.[2] + +f[1] The skin of the victim, that is to say. +f[2] A temple in Euboea, close to Oreus. The servant means, "Return where +you came from." + +CHORUS +Oh! joy, joy! no more helmet, no more cheese nor onions![1] No, I +have no passion for battles; what I love, is to drink with good +comrades in the corner by the fire when good dry wood, cut in +the height of the summer, is crackling; it is to cook pease on the coals +and beechnuts among the embers, 'tis to kiss our pretty Thracian[2] +while my wife is at the bath. Nothing is more pleasing, when the rain +is sprouting our sowings, than to chat with some friend, saying, +"Tell me, Comarchides, what shall we do? I would willingly drink myself, +while the heavens are watering our fields. Come, wife, cook three +measures of beans, adding to them a little wheat, and give us some figs. +Syra! call Manes off the fields, 'tis impossible to prune the vine or to +align the ridges, for the ground is too wet to-day. Let someone bring me +the thrush and those two chaffinches; there were also some curds and +four pieces of hare, unless the cat stole them last evening, for I +know not what the infernal noise was that I heard in the house. +Serve up three of the pieces for me, slave, and give the fourth to +my father. Go and ask Aeschinades for some myrtle branches with +berries on them, and then, for 'tis the same road, you will invite +Charinades to come and drink with me to the honour of the gods who +watch over our crops." When the grasshopper sings his dulcet tune, +I love to see the Lemnian vines beginning to ripen, for 'tis the earliest +plant of all. I love likewise to watch the fig filling out, and when it +has reached maturity I eat with appreciation and exclaim, "Oh! +delightful season!" Then too I bruise some thyme and infuse it in +water. Indeed I grow a great deal fatter passing the summer in this +way than in watching a cursed captain with his three plumes and his +military cloak of a startling crimson (he calls it true Sardian purple), +which he takes care to dye himself with Cyzicus saffron in a battle; +then he is the first to run away, shaking his plumes like a great yellow +prancing cock,[3] while I am left to watch the nets.[4] Once back again +in Athens, these brave fellows behave abominably; they write down these, +they scratch through others, and this backwards and forwards two or +three times at random. The departure is set for to-morrow, and some +citizen has brought no provisions, because he didn't know he had to go; +he stops in front of the statue of Pandion,[5] reads his name, is +dumbfounded and starts away at a run, weeping bitter tears. +The townsfolk are less ill-used, but that is how the husbandmen +are treated by these men of war, the hated of the gods and of men, +who know nothing but how to throw away their shield. For this reason, +if it please heaven, I propose to call these rascals to account, for they +are lions in times of peace, but sneaking foxes when it comes to fighting. + +f[1] This was the soldier's usual ration on duty. +f[2] Slaves often bore the name of the country of their birth. +f[3] Because of the new colour which fear had lent his chlamys. +f[4] Meaning, that he deserts his men in mid-campaign, leaving them +to look after the enemy. +f[5] Ancient King of Athens. This was one of the twelve statues, +on the pedestals of which the names of the soldiers chose for departure +on service were written. The decrees were also placarded on them. + +TRYGAEUS +Oh! oh! what a crowd for the nuptial feast! Here! dust the +tables with this crest, which is good for nothing else now. Halloa! +produce the cakes, the thrushes, plenty of good jugged hare and the +little loaves. + +A SICKLE-MAKER +Trygaeus, where is Trygaeus? + +TRYGAEUS +I am cooking the thrushes. + +SICKLE-MAKER +Trygaeus, my best of friends, what a fine stroke of business you +have done for me by bringing back Peace! Formerly my sickles would not +have sold at an obolus apiece; to-day I am being paid fifty drachmae +for every one. And here is a neighbour who is selling his casks for +the country at three drachmae each. So come, Trygaeus, take as many +sickles and casks as you will for nothing. Accept them for nothing; +'tis because of our handsome profits on our sales that we offer you +these wedding presents. + +TRYGAEUS +Thanks. Put them all down inside there, and come along quick to +the banquet. Ah! do you see that armourer yonder coming with a +wry face? + +A CREST-MAKER +Alas! alas! Trygaeus, you have ruined me utterly. + +TRYGAEUS +What! won't the crests go any more, friend? + +CREST-MAKER +You have killed my business, my livelihood, and that of this +poor lance-maker too. + +TRYGAEUS +Come, come, what are you asking for these two crests? + +CREST-MAKER +What do you bid for them? + +TRYGAEUS +What do I bid? Oh! I am ashamed to say. Still, as the clasp is +of good workmanship, I would give two, even three measures +of dried figs; I could use 'em for dusting the table. + +CREST-MAKER +All right, tell them to bring me the dried figs; 'tis always better +than nothing. + +TRYGAEUS +Take them away, be off with your crests and get you gone; they are +moulting, they are losing all their hair; I would not give a single +fig for them. + +A BREASTPLATE-MAKER +Good gods, what am I going to do with this fine ten-minae +breastplate, which is so splendidly made? + +TRYGAEUS +Oh, you will lose nothing over it. + +BREASTPLATE-MAKER +I will sell it to you at cost price. + +TRYGAEUS +'Twould be very useful as a night-stool... + +BREASTPLATE-MAKER +Cease your insults, both to me and my wares. + +TRYGAEUS +...if propped on three stones. Look, 'tis admirable. + +BREASTPLATE-MAKER +But how can you wipe, idiot? + +TRYGAEUS +I can pass one hand through here, and the other there, and so... + +BREASTPLATE-MAKER +What! do you wipe with both hands? + +TRYGAEUS +Aye, so that I may not be accused of robbing the State, by +blocking up an oar-hole in the galley.[1] + +f[1] The trierarchs stopped up some of the holes made for the oars, in +order to reduce the number of rowers they had to supply for the galleys; +they thus saved the wages of the rowers they dispensed with. + +BREASTPLATE-MAKER +So you would pay ten minae[1] for a night-stool? + +f[1] The mina was equivalent to about three pounds, ten shillings. + +TRYGAEUS +Undoubtedly, you rascal. Do you think I would sell my rump for +a thousand drachmae?[1] + +f[1] Which is the same thing, since a mina was worth a hundred drachmae. + +BREASTPLATE-MAKER +Come, have the money paid over to me. + +TRYGAEUS +No, friend; I find it hurts me to sit on. Take it away, I won't buy it. + +A TRUMPET-MAKER +What is to be done with this trumpet, for which I gave sixty +drachmae the other day? + +TRYGAEUS +Pour lead into the hollow and fit a good, long stick to the top; +and you will have a balanced cottabos.[1] + +f[1] For 'cottabos' see note above. + +TRUMPET-MAKER +Ha! would you mock me? + +TRYGAEUS +Well, here's another notion. Pour in lead as I said, add here a dish +hung on strings, and you will have a balance for weighing the figs +which you give your slaves in the fields. + +A HELMET-MAKER +Cursed fate! I am ruined. Here are helmets, for which I gave a +mina each. What I to do with them? who will buy them? + +TRYGAEUS +Go and sell them to the Egyptians; they will do for measuring +loosening medicines.[1] + +f[1] Syrmoea, a kind of purgative syrup much used by the Egyptians, +made of antiscorbutic herbs, such as mustard, horse-radish, etc. + +A SPEAR-MAKER +Ah! poor helmet-maker, things are indeed in a bad way. + +TRYGAEUS +That man has no cause for complaint. + +SPEAR-MAKER +But helmets will be no more used. + +TRYGAEUS +Let him learn to fit a handle to them and he can sell them for +more money.[1] + +f[1] As wine-pots or similar vessels. + +SPEAR-MAKER +Let us be off, comrade. + +TRYGAEUS +No, I want to buy these spears. + +SPEAR-MAKER +What will you give? + +TRYGAEUS +If they could be split in two, I would take them at a drachma +per hundred to use as vine-props. + +SPEAR-MAKER +The insolent dog! Let us go, friend. + +TRYGAEUS +Ah! here come the guests, children from the table to relieve themselves; +I fancy they also want to hum over what they will be singing presently. +Hi! child! what do you reckon to sing? Stand there and give me +the opening line. + +THE SON OF LAMACHUS +"Glory to the young warriors..." + +TRYGAEUS +Oh! leave off about your young warriors, you little wretch; we are +at peace and you are an idiot and a rascal. + +SON OF LAMACHUS +"The skirmish begins, the hollow bucklers clash against each other."[1] + +f[1] These verses and those which both Trygaeus and the son of Lamachus +quote afterwards are borrowed from the 'Iliad.' + +TRYGAEUS +Bucklers! Leave me in peace with your bucklers. + +SON OF LAMACHUS +"And then there came groanings and shouts of victory." + +TRYGAEUS +Groanings! ah! by Bacchus! look out for yourself, you cursed +squaller, if you start wearying us again with your groanings and +hollow bucklers. + +SON OF LAMACHUS +Then what should I sing? Tell me what pleases you. + +TRYGAEUS +"'Tis thus they feasted on the flesh of oxen," or something +similar, as, for instance, "Everything that could tickle the palate +was placed on the table." + +SON OF LAMACHUS +"'Tis thus they feasted on the flesh of oxen and, tired of +warfare, unharnessed their foaming steeds." + +TRYGAEUS +That's splendid; tired of warfare, they seat themselves at table; +sing, sing to us how they still go on eating after they are satiated. + +SON OF LAMACHUS +"The meal over, they girded themselves..." + +TRYGAEUS +With good wine, no doubt? + +SON OF LAMACHUS +"...with armour and rushed forth from the towers, and a terrible +shout arose." + +TRYGAEUS +Get you gone, you little scapegrace, you and your battles! You sing +of nothing but warfare. Who is your father then? + +SON OF LAMACHUS +My father? + +TRYGAEUS +Why yes, your father. + +SON OF LAMACHUS +I am Lamachus' son. + +TRYGAEUS +Oh! oh! I could indeed have sworn, when I was listening to you, +that you were the son of some warrior who dreams of nothing but +wounds and bruises, of some Boulomachus or Clausimachus;[1] go and sing +your plaguey songs to the spearmen.... Where is the son of Cleonymus? +Sing me something before going back to the feast. I am at least certain +he will not sing of battles, for his father is far too careful a man. + +f[1] Boulomachus is derived from [two Greek words meaning] to wish +for battle; Clausimachus from [two others], the tears that battles cost. +The same root [for] 'battle' is also contained in the name Lamachus. + +SON OF CLEONYMUS +"An inhabitant of Sais is parading with the spotless shield which +I regret to say I have thrown into a thicket."[1] + +f[1] A distich borrowed from Archilochus, a celebrated poet of the seventh +century B.C., born at Paros, and the author of odes, satires, epigrams and +elegies. He sang his own shame. 'Twas in an expedition against Sais, +not the town in Egypt as the similarity in name might lead one to believe, +but in Thrace, that he had cast away his buckler. "A might calamity truly!" +he says without shame. "I shall buy another." + +TRYGAEUS +Tell me, you little good-for-nothing, are you singing that for your father? + +SON OF CLEONYMUS +"But I saved my life." + +TRYGAEUS +And dishonoured your family. But let us go in; I am very certain, +that being the son of such a father, you will never forget this song +of the buckler. You, who remain to the feast, 'tis your duty +to devour dish after dish and not to ply empty jaws. Come, put heart +into the work and eat with your mouths full. For, believe me, +poor friends, white teeth are useless furniture, if they chew nothing. + +CHORUS +Never fear; thanks all the same for your good advice. + +TRYGAEUS +You, who yesterday were dying of hunger, come, stuff yourselves +with this fine hare-stew; 'tis not every day that we find cakes +lying neglected. Eat, eat, or I predict you will soon regret it. + +CHORUS +Silence! Keep silence! Here is the bride about to appear! Take +nuptial torches and let all rejoice and join in our songs. Then, +when we have danced, clinked our cups and thrown Hyperbolus through +the doorway we will carry back all our farming tools to the fields and +shall pray the gods to give wealth to the Greeks and to cause us all +to gather in an abundant barley harvest, enjoy a noble vintage, +to grant that we may choke with good figs, that our wives may prove +fruitful, that in fact we may recover all our lost blessings, and that +the sparkling fire may be restored to the hearth. + +TRYGAEUS +Come, wife, to the fields and seek, my beauty, to brighten and enliven +my nights. Oh! Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus! + +CHORUS +Oh! Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus! oh! thrice happy man, who so well deserve +your good fortune! + +TRYGAEUS +Oh! Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus! + +CHORUS +Oh! Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus! + +FIRST SEMI-CHORUS +What shall we do to her? + +SECOND SEMI-CHORUS +What shall we do to her? + +FIRST SEMI-CHORUS +We will gather her kisses. + +SECOND SEMI-CHORUS +We will gather her kisses. + +CHORUS +Come, comrades, we who are in the first row, let us pick up +the bridegroom and carry him in triumph. Oh! Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus! +Oh! Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus! + +TRYGAEUS +Oh! Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus! + +CHORUS +You shall have a fine house, no cares and the finest of figs. +Oh! Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus! + +TRYGAEUS +Oh! Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus! + +CHORUS +The bridegroom's fig is great and thick; the bride's very soft and tender. + +TRYGAEUS +While eating and drinking deep draughts of wine, continue to +repeat: Oh! Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus! + +CHORUS +Oh! Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus! + +TRYGAEUS +Farewell, farewell, my friends. All who come with me shall have +cakes galore. + + + + + +End of The Project Gutenberg Etext of Peace, by Aristophanes + |