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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Peace, by Aristophanes
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Peace
+
+Author: Aristophanes
+
+Posting Date: December 29, 2008 [EBook #2571]
+Release Date: April, 2001
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PEACE ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Derek Davis
+
+
+
+
+
+PEACE
+
+By Aristophanes
+
+
+
+Original Transcriber's Note:
+Translator uncredited. Footnotes have been retained because they
+provide the meanings of Greek names, terms and ceremonies and explain
+puns and references otherwise lost in translation. Occasional Greek
+words in the footnotes have not been included. Footnote numbers,
+in brackets, start anew at (1) for each piece of dialogue, and each
+footnote follows immediately the dialogue to which it refers, labeled
+thus: f(1).
+
+
+
+
+INTRODUCTION
+
+
+
+The 'Peace' was brought out four years after 'The Acharnians' (422
+B.C.), when the War had already lasted ten years. The leading motive is
+the same as in the former play--the intense desire of the less excitable
+and more moderate-minded citizens for relief from the miseries of war.
+
+Trygaeus, a rustic patriot, finding no help in men, resolves to ascend
+to heaven to expostulate personally with Zeus for allowing this wretched
+state of things to continue. With this object he has fed and trained a
+gigantic dung-beetle, which he mounts, and is carried, like Bellerophon
+on Pegasus, on an aerial journey. Eventually he reaches Olympus, only to
+find that the gods have gone elsewhere, and that the heavenly abode is
+occupied solely by the demon of War, who is busy pounding up the Greek
+States in a huge mortar. However, his benevolent purpose is not in vain;
+for learning from Hermes that the goddess Peace has been cast into a
+pit, where she is kept a fast prisoner, he calls upon the different
+peoples of Hellas to make a united effort and rescue her, and with their
+help drags her out and brings her back in triumph to earth. The play
+concludes with the restoration of the goddess to her ancient honours,
+the festivities of the rustic population and the nuptials of Trygaeus
+with Opora (Harvest), handmaiden of Peace, represented as a pretty
+courtesan.
+
+Such references as there are to Cleon in this play are noteworthy. The
+great Demagogue was now dead, having fallen in the same action as the
+rival Spartan general, the renowned Brasidas, before Amphipolis, and
+whatever Aristophanes says here of his old enemy is conceived in the
+spirit of 'de mortuis nil nisi bonum.' In one scene Hermes is descanting
+on the evils which had nearly ruined Athens and declares that 'The
+Tanner' was the cause of them all. But Trygaeus interrupts him with the
+words:
+
+"Hold-say not so, good master Hermes; Let the man rest in peace where
+now he lies. He is no longer of our world, but yours."
+
+Here surely we have a trait of magnanimity on the author's part as
+admirable in its way as the wit and boldness of his former attacks had
+been in theirs.
+
+
+
+
+DRAMATIS PERSONAE
+
+     TRYGAEUS
+     TWO SERVANTS OF TRYGAEUS
+     MAIDENS, DAUGHTERS OF TRYGAEUS
+     HERMES
+     WAR
+     TUMULT
+     HIEROCLES, a Soothsayer
+     A SICKLE-MAKER
+     A CREST-MAKER
+     A TRUMPET-MAKER
+     A HELMET-MAKER
+     A SPEAR-MAKER
+     SON OF LAMACHUS
+     SON OF CLEONYMUS
+     CHORUS OF HUSBANDMEN
+
+
+
+
+SCENE: A farmyard, two slaves busy beside a dungheap; afterwards, in
+Olympus.
+
+
+
+FIRST SERVANT Quick, quick, bring the dung-beetle his cake.
+
+SECOND SERVANT Coming, coming.
+
+FIRST SERVANT Give it to him, and may it kill him!
+
+SECOND SERVANT May he never eat a better.
+
+FIRST SERVANT Now give him this other one kneaded up with ass's dung.
+
+SECOND SERVANT There! I've done that too.
+
+FIRST SERVANT And where's what you gave him just now; surely he can't
+have devoured it yet!
+
+SECOND SERVANT Indeed he has; he snatched it, rolled it between his feet
+and bolted it.
+
+FIRST SERVANT Come, hurry up, knead up a lot and knead them stiffly.
+
+SECOND SERVANT Oh, scavengers, help me in the name of the gods, if you
+do not wish to see me fall down choked.
+
+FIRST SERVANT Come, come, another made from the stool of a young
+scapegrace catamite. 'Twill be to the beetle's taste; he likes it well
+ground.
+
+SECOND SERVANT There! I am free at least from suspicion; none will
+accuse me of tasting what I mix.
+
+FIRST SERVANT Faugh! come, now another! keep on mixing with all your
+might.
+
+SECOND SERVANT I' faith, no. I can stand this awful cesspool stench no
+longer, so I bring you the whole ill-smelling gear.
+
+FIRST SERVANT Pitch it down the sewer sooner, and yourself with it.
+
+SECOND SERVANT Maybe, one of you can tell me where I can buy a
+stopped-up nose, for there is no work more disgusting than to mix food
+for a beetle and to carry it to him. A pig or a dog will at least pounce
+upon our excrement without more ado, but this foul wretch affects the
+disdainful, the spoilt mistress, and won't eat unless I offer him a cake
+that has been kneaded for an entire day.... But let us open the door
+a bit ajar without his seeing it. Has he done eating? Come, pluck up
+courage, cram yourself till you burst! The cursed creature! It wallows
+in its food! It grips it between its claws like a wrestler clutching
+his opponent, and with head and feet together rolls up its paste like
+a rope-maker twisting a hawser. What an indecent, stinking, gluttonous
+beast! I know not what angry god let this monster loose upon us, but of
+a certainty it was neither Aphrodite nor the Graces.
+
+FIRST SERVANT Who was it then?
+
+SECOND SERVANT No doubt the Thunderer, Zeus.
+
+FIRST SERVANT But perhaps some spectator, some beardless youth, who
+thinks himself a sage, will say, "What is this? What does the beetle
+mean?" And then an Ionian,(1) sitting next him, will add, "I think
+'tis an allusion to Cleon, who so shamelessly feeds on filth all by
+himself."--But now I'm going indoors to fetch the beetle a drink.
+
+     f(1) 'Peace' was no doubt produced at the festival of the
+     Apaturia, which was kept at the end of October, a period
+     when strangers were numerous in Athens.
+
+SECOND SERVANT As for me, I will explain the matter to you all,
+children, youths, grownups and old men, aye, even to the decrepit
+dotards. My master is mad, not as you are, but with another sort of
+madness, quite a new kind. The livelong day he looks open-mouthed
+towards heaven and never stops addressing Zeus. "Ah! Zeus," he cries,
+"what are thy intentions? Lay aside thy besom; do not sweep Greece
+away!"
+
+TRYGAEUS Ah! ah! ah!
+
+SECOND SERVANT Hush, hush! Mehinks I hear his voice!
+
+TRYGAEUS Oh! Zeus, what art thou going to do for our people? Dost thou
+not see this, that our cities will soon be but empty husks?
+
+SECOND SERVANT As I told you, that is his form of madness. There you
+have a sample of his follies. When his trouble first began to seize him,
+he said to himself, "By what means could I go straight to Zeus?" Then
+he made himself very slender little ladders and so clambered up towards
+heaven; but he soon came hurtling down again and broke his head.
+Yesterday, to our misfortune, he went out and brought us back this
+thoroughbred, but from where I know not, this great beetle, whose groom
+he has forced me to become. He himself caresses it as though it were
+a horse, saying, "Oh! my little Pegasus,(1) my noble aerial steed, may
+your wings soon bear me straight to Zeus!" But what is my master doing?
+I must stoop down to look through this hole. Oh! great gods! Here!
+neighbours, run here quick! here is my master flying off mounted on his
+beetle as if on horseback.
+
+     f(1) The winged steed of Perseus--an allusion to a lost
+     tragedy of Euripides, in which Bellerophon was introduced
+     riding on Pegasus.
+
+TRYGAEUS Gently, gently, go easy, beetle; don't start off so proudly, or
+trust at first too greatly to your powers; wait till you have sweated,
+till the beating of your wings shall make your limb joints supple. Above
+all things, don't let off some foul smell, I adjure you; else I would
+rather have you stop in the stable altogether.
+
+SECOND SERVANT Poor master! Is he crazy?
+
+TRYGAEUS Silence! silence!
+
+SECOND SERVANT (TO TRYGAEUS) But why start up into the air on chance?
+
+TRYGAEUS 'Tis for the weal of all the Greeks; I am attempting a daring
+and novel feat.
+
+SECOND SERVANT But what is your purpose? What useless folly!
+
+TRYGAEUS No words of ill omen! Give vent to joy and command all men to
+keep silence, to close down their drains and privies with new tiles and
+to stop up their own vent-holes.(1)
+
+     f(1) Fearing that if it caught a whiff from earth to its
+     liking, the beetle might descend from the highest heaven to
+     satisfy itself.
+
+FIRST SERVANT No, I shall not be silent, unless you tell me where you
+are going.
+
+TRYGAEUS Why, where am I likely to be going across the sky, if it be not
+to visit Zeus?
+
+FIRST SERVANT For what purpose?
+
+TRYGAEUS I want to ask him what he reckons to do for all the Greeks.
+
+SECOND SERVANT And if he doesn't tell you?
+
+TRYGAEUS I shall pursue him at law as a traitor who sells Greece to the
+Medes.(1)
+
+     f(1) The Persians and the Spartans were not then allied as
+     the scholiast states, since a treaty between them was only
+     concluded in 412 B.C., i.e. eight years after the production
+     of 'Peace'; the great king, however, was trying to derive
+     advantages out of the dissensions in Greece.
+
+SECOND SERVANT Death seize me, if I let you go.
+
+TRYGAEUS It is absolutely necessary.
+
+SECOND SERVANT Alas! alas! dear little girls, your father is deserting
+you secretly to go to heaven. Ah! poor orphans, entreat him, beseech
+him.
+
+LITTLE DAUGHTER Father! father! what is this I hear? Is it true? What!
+you would leave me, you would vanish into the sky, you would go to the
+crows?(1) 'Tis impossible! Answer, father, an you love me.
+
+     f(1) "Go to the crows," a proverbial expression equivalent
+     to our "Go to the devil."
+
+TRYGAEUS Yes, I am going. You hurt me too sorely, my daughters, when you
+ask me for bread, calling me your daddy, and there is not the ghost
+of an obolus in the house; if I succeed and come back, you will have a
+barley loaf every morning--and a punch in the eye for sauce!
+
+LITTLE DAUGHTER But how will you make the journey? 'Tis not a ship that
+will carry you thither.
+
+TRYGAEUS No, but this winged steed will.
+
+LITTLE DAUGHTER But what an idea, daddy, to harness a beetle, on which
+to fly to the gods.
+
+TRYGAEUS We see from Aesop's fables that they alone can fly to the abode
+of the Immortals.(1)
+
+     f(1) Aesop tells us that the eagle and the beetle were at
+     war; the eagle devoured the beetle's young and the latter
+     got into its nest and tumbled out its eggs.  On this the
+     eagle complained to Zeus, who advised it to lay its eggs in
+     his bosom; but the beetle flew up to the abode of Zeus, who,
+     forgetful of the eagle's eggs, at once rose to chase off the
+     objectionable insect.  The eggs fell to earth and were
+     smashed to bits.
+
+LITTLE DAUGHTER Father, father, 'tis a tale nobody can believe! that
+such a stinking creature can have gone to the gods.
+
+TRYGAEUS It went to have vengeance on the eagle and break its eggs.
+
+LITTLE DAUGHTER Why not saddle Pegasus? you would have a more TRAGIC(1)
+appearance in the eyes of the gods.
+
+     f(1) Pegasus is introduced by Euripides both in his
+     'Andromeda' and his 'Bellerophon.'
+
+TRYGAEUS Eh! don't you see, little fool, that then twice the food would
+be wanted? Whereas my beetle devours again as filth what I have eaten
+myself.
+
+LITTLE DAUGHTER And if it fell into the watery depths of the sea, could
+it escape with its wings?
+
+TRYGAEUS (EXPOSING HIMSELF) I am fitted with a rudder in case of need,
+and my Naxos beetle will serve me as a boat.(1)
+
+     f(1) Boats, called 'beetles,' doubtless because in form they
+     resembled these insects, were built at Naxos.
+
+LITTLE DAUGHTER And what harbour will you put in at?
+
+TRYGAEUS Why is there not the harbour of Cantharos at the Piraeus?(1)
+
+     f(1) Nature had divided the Piraeus into three basins--
+     Cantharos, Aphrodisium and Zea.  (Cantharos) is Greek for
+     dung-beetle.
+
+LITTLE DAUGHTER Take care not to knock against anything and so fall off
+into space; once a cripple, you would be a fit subject for Euripides,
+who would put you into a tragedy.(1)
+
+     f(1) In allusion to Euripides' fondness for introducing lame
+     heroes in his plays.
+
+TRYGAEUS I'll see to it. Good-bye! (TO THE ATHENIANS.) You, for love of
+whom I brave these dangers, do ye neither let wind nor go to stool
+for the space of three days, for, if, while cleaving the air, my steed
+should scent anything, he would fling me head foremost from the summit
+of my hopes. Now come, my Pegasus, get a-going with up-pricked ears and
+make your golden bridle resound gaily. Eh! what are you doing? What are
+you up to? Do you turn your nose towards the cesspools? Come, pluck up
+a spirit; rush upwards from the earth, stretch out your speedy wings and
+make straight for the palace of Zeus; for once give up foraging in your
+daily food.--Hi! you down there, what are you after now? Oh! my god!
+'tis a man emptying his belly in the Piraeus, close to the house where
+the bad girls are. But is it my death you seek then, my death? Will
+you not bury that right away and pile a great heap of earth upon it and
+plant wild thyme therein and pour perfumes on it? If I were to fall from
+up here and misfortune happened to me, the town of Chios(1) would owe a
+fine of five talents for my death, all along of your cursed rump. Alas!
+how frightened I am! oh! I have no heart for jests. Ah! machinist, take
+great care of me. There is already a wind whirling round my navel; take
+great care or, from sheer fright, I shall form food for my beetle....
+But I think I am no longer far from the gods; aye, that is the dwelling
+of Zeus, I perceive. Hullo! Hi! where is the doorkeeper? Will no one
+open?
+
+     f(1) An allusion to the proverbial nickname applied to the
+     Chians (in Greek)--'crapping Chian.' There is a further
+     joke, of course, in connection with the hundred and one
+     frivolous pretexts which the Athenians invented for exacting
+     contributions from the maritime allies.
+
+(THE SCENE CHANGES AND HEAVEN IS PRESENTED.)
+
+HERMES Meseems I can sniff a man. (HE PERCEIVES TRYGAEUS ASTRIDE HIS
+BEETLE.) Why, what plague is this?
+
+TRYGAEUS A horse-beetle.
+
+HERMES Oh! impudent, shameless rascal! oh! scoundrel! triple scoundrel!
+the greatest scoundrel in the world! how did you come here? Oh!
+scoundrel of all scoundrels! your name? Reply.
+
+TRYGAEUS Triple scoundrel.
+
+HERMES Your country?
+
+TRYGAEUS Triple scoundrel.
+
+HERMES Your father?
+
+TRYGAEUS My father? Triple scoundrel.
+
+HERMES By the Earth, you shall die, unless you tell me your name.
+
+TRYGAEUS I am Trygaeus of the Athmonian deme, a good vine-dresser,
+little addicted to quibbling and not at all an informer.
+
+HERMES Why do you come?
+
+TRYGAEUS I come to bring you this meat.
+
+HERMES Ah! my good friend, did you have a good journey?
+
+TRYGAEUS Glutton, be off! I no longer seem a triple scoundrel to you.
+Come, call Zeus.
+
+HERMES Ah! ah! you are a long way yet from reaching the gods, for they
+moved yesterday.
+
+TRYGAEUS To what part of the earth?
+
+HERMES Eh! of the earth, did you say?
+
+TRYGAEUS In short, where are they then?
+
+HERMES Very far, very far, right at the furthest end of the dome of
+heaven.
+
+TRYGAEUS But why have they left you all alone here?
+
+HERMES I am watching what remains of the furniture, the little pots and
+pans, the bits of chairs and tables, and odd wine-jars.
+
+TRYGAEUS And why have the gods moved away?
+
+HERMES Because of their wrath against the Greeks. They have located War
+in the house they occupied themselves and have given him full power to
+do with you exactly as he pleases; then they went as high up as ever
+they could, so as to see no more of your fights and to hear no more of
+your prayers.
+
+TRYGAEUS What reason have they for treating us so?
+
+HERMES Because they have afforded you an opportunity for peace more than
+once, but you have always preferred war. If the Laconians got the very
+slightest advantage, they would exclaim, "By the Twin Brethren! the
+Athenians shall smart for this." If, on the contrary, the latter
+triumphed and the Laconians came with peace proposals, you would say,
+"By Demeter, they want to deceive us. No, by Zeus, we will not hear a
+word; they will always be coming as long as we hold Pylos."(1)
+
+     f(1) Masters of Pylos and Sphacteria, the Athenians had
+     brought home the three hundred prisoners taken in the latter
+     place in 425 B.C.; the Spartans had several times sent
+     envoys to offer peace and to demand back both Pylos and the
+     prisoners, but the Athenian pride had caused these proposals
+     to be long refused.  Finally the prisoners had been given up
+     in 423 B.C., but the War was continued nevertheless.
+
+TRYGAEUS Yes, that is quite the style our folk do talk in.
+
+HERMES So that I don't know whether you will ever see Peace again.
+
+TRYGAEUS Why, where has she gone to then?
+
+HERMES War has cast her into a deep pit.
+
+TRYGAEUS Where?
+
+HERMES Down there, at the very bottom. And you see what heaps of stones
+he has piled over the top, so that you should never pull her out again.
+
+TRYGAEUS Tell me, what is War preparing against us?
+
+HERMES All I know is that last evening he brought along a huge mortar.
+
+TRYGAEUS And what is he going to do with his mortar?
+
+HERMES He wants to pound up all the cities of Greece in it.... But I
+must say good-bye, for I think he is coming out; what an uproar he is
+making!
+
+TRYGAEUS Ah! great gods! let us seek safety; meseems I already hear the
+noise of this fearful war mortar.
+
+WAR (ENTERS, CARRYING A HUGE MORTAR) Oh! mortals, mortals, wretched
+mortals, how your jaws will snap!
+
+TRYGAEUS Oh! divine Apollo! what a prodigious big mortar! Oh, what
+misery the very sight of War causes me! This then is the foe from whom I
+fly, who is so cruel, so formidable, so stalwart, so solid on his legs!
+
+WAR Oh! Prasiae!(1) thrice wretched, five times, aye, a thousand times
+wretched! for thou shalt be destroyed this day.
+
+     f(1) An important town in Eastern Laconia on the Argolic
+     gulf, celebrated for a temple where a festival was held
+     annually in honour of Achilles. It had been taken and
+     pillaged by the Athenians in the second year of the
+     Peloponnesian War, 430 B.C.  As he utters this imprecation,
+     War throws some leeks, the root-word of the name Praisae,
+     into his mortar.
+
+TRYGAEUS This does not concern us over much; 'tis only so much the worse
+for the Laconians.
+
+WAR Oh! Megara! Megara! how utterly are you going to be ground up! what
+fine mincemeat(1) are you to be made into!
+
+     f(1) War throws some garlic into his mortar as emblematical
+     of the city of Megara, where it was grown in abundance.
+
+TRYGAEUS Alas! alas! what bitter tears there will be among the
+Megarians!(1)
+
+     f(1) Because the smell of bruised garlic causes the eyes to
+     water.
+
+WAR Oh, Sicily! you too must perish! Your wretched towns shall be
+grated like this cheese.(1) Now let us pour some Attic honey(2) into the
+mortar.
+
+     f(1) He throws cheese into the mortar as emblematical of
+     Sicily, on account of its rich pastures.
+
+     f(2) Emblematical of Athens.  They honey of Mount Hymettus
+     was famous.
+
+TRYGAEUS Oh! I beseech you! use some other honey; this kind is worth
+four obols; be careful, oh! be careful of our Attic honey.
+
+WAR Hi! Tumult, you slave there!
+
+TUMULT What do you want?
+
+WAR Out upon you! Standing there with folded arms! Take this cuff o' the
+head for your pains.
+
+TUMULT Oh! how it stings! Master, have you got garlic in your fist, I
+wonder?
+
+WAR Run and fetch me a pestle.
+
+TUMULT But we haven't got one; 'twas only yesterday we moved.
+
+WAR Go and fetch me one from Athens, and hurry, hurry!
+
+TUMULT Aye, I hasten there; if I return without one, I shall have no
+cause for laughing. (EXIT.)
+
+TRYGAEUS Ah! what is to become of us, wretched mortals that we are? See
+the danger that threatens if he returns with the pestle, for War will
+quietly amuse himself with pounding all the towns of Hellas to pieces.
+Ah! Bacchus! cause this herald of evil to perish on his road!
+
+WAR Well?
+
+TUMULT (WHO HAS RETURNED) Well, what?
+
+WAR You have brought back nothing?
+
+TUMULT Alas! the Athenians have lost their pestle--the tanner, who
+ground Greece to powder.(1)
+
+     f(1) Cleon, who had lately fallen before Amphipolis, in 422
+     B.C.
+
+TRYGAEUS Oh! Athene, venerable mistress! 'tis well for our city he is
+dead, and before he could serve us with this hash.
+
+WAR Then go and seek one at Sparta and have done with it!
+
+TUMULT Aye, aye, master!
+
+WAR Be back as quick as ever you can.
+
+TRYGAEUS (TO THE AUDIENCE) What is going to happen, friends? 'Tis the
+critical hour. Ah! if there is some initiate of Samothrace(1) among you,
+'tis surely the moment to wish this messenger some accident--some sprain
+or strain.
+
+     f(1) An island in the Aegean Sea, on the coast of Thrace and
+     opposite the mouth of the Hebrus; the Mysteries are said to
+     have found their first home in this island, where the
+     Cabirian gods were worshipped; this cult, shrouded in deep
+     mystery to even the initiates themselves, has remained an
+     almost insoluble problem for the modern critic.  It was said
+     that the wishes of the initiates were always granted, and
+     they were feared as to-day the 'jettatori' (spell-throwers,
+     casters of the evil eye) in Sicily are feared.
+
+TUMULT (WHO RETURNS) Alas! alas! thrice again, alas!
+
+WAR What is it? Again you come back without it?
+
+TUMULT The Spartans too have lost their pestle.
+
+WAR How, varlet?
+
+TUMULT They had lent it to their allies in Thrace,(1) who have lost it
+for them.
+
+     f(1) Brasidas perished in Thrace in the same battle as Cleon
+     at Amphipolis, 422 B.C.
+
+TRYGAEUS Long life to you, Thracians! My hopes revive, pluck up courage,
+mortals!
+
+WAR Take all this stuff away; I am going in to make a pestle for myself.
+
+TRYGAEUS 'Tis now the time to sing as Datis did, as he abused himself
+at high noon, "Oh pleasure! oh enjoyment! oh delights!" 'Tis now, oh
+Greeks! the moment when freed of quarrels and fighting, we should rescue
+sweet Peace and draw her out of this pit, before some other pestle
+prevents us. Come, labourers, merchants, workmen, artisans, strangers,
+whether you be domiciled or not, islanders, come here, Greeks of all
+countries, come hurrying here with picks and levers and ropes! 'Tis the
+moment to drain a cup in honour of the Good Genius.
+
+CHORUS Come hither all! quick, hasten to the rescue! All peoples of
+Greece, now is the time or never, for you to help each other. You see
+yourselves freed from battles and all their horrors of bloodshed. The
+day, hateful to Lamachus(1), has come. Come then, what must be done?
+Give your orders, direct us, for I swear to work this day without
+ceasing, until with the help of our levers and our engines we have drawn
+back into light the greatest of all goddesses, her to whom the olive is
+so dear.
+
+     f(1) An Athenian general as ambitious as he was brave.  In
+     423 B.C. he had failed in an enterprise against Heracles, a
+     storm having destroyed his fleet.  Since then he had
+     distingued himself in several actions, and was destined,
+     some years later, to share the command of the expedition to
+     Sicily with Alcibiades and Nicias.
+
+TRYGAEUS Silence! if War should hear your shouts of joy he would bound
+forth from his retreat in fury.
+
+CHORUS Such a decree overwhelms us with joy; how different to the edict,
+which bade us muster with provisions for three days.(1)
+
+     f(1) Meaning, to start a military expedition.
+
+TRYGAEUS Let us beware lest the cursed Cerberus(1) prevent us even from
+the nethermost hell from delivering the goddess by his furious howling,
+just as he did when on earth.
+
+     f(1) Cleon.
+
+CHORUS Once we have hold of her, none in the world will be able to take
+her from us. Huzza! huzza!(1)
+
+     f(1) The Chorus insist on the conventional choric dance.
+
+TRYGAEUS You will work my death if you don't subdue your shouts. War
+will come running out and trample everything beneath his feet.
+
+CHORUS Well then! LET him confound, let him trample, let him overturn
+everything! We cannot help giving vent to our joy.
+
+TRYGAEUS Oh! cruel fate! My friends! in the name of the gods,
+what possesses you? Your dancing will wreck the success of a fine
+undertaking.
+
+CHORUS 'Tis not I who want to dance; 'tis my legs that bound with
+delight.
+
+TRYGAEUS Enough, an you love me, cease your gambols.
+
+CHORUS There! 'Tis over.
+
+TRYGAEUS You say so, and nevertheless you go on.
+
+CHORUS Yet one more figure and 'tis done.
+
+TRYGAEUS Well, just this one; then you must dance no more.
+
+CHORUS No, no more dancing, if we can help you.
+
+TRYGAEUS But look, you are not stopping even now.
+
+CHORUS By Zeus, I am only throwing up my right leg, that's all.
+
+TRYGAEUS Come, I grant you that, but pray, annoy me no further.
+
+CHORUS Ah! the left leg too will have its fling; well, 'tis but its
+right. I am so happy, so delighted at not having to carry my buckler
+any more. I sing and I laugh more than if I had cast my old age, as a
+serpent does its skin.
+
+TRYGAEUS No, 'tis not time for joy yet, for you are not sure of success.
+But when you have got the goddess, then rejoice, shout and laugh;
+thenceforward you will be able to sail or stay at home, to make love or
+sleep, to attend festivals and processions, to play at cottabos,(1) live
+like true Sybarites and to shout, Io, io!
+
+     f(1) One of the most favourite games with the Greeks.  A
+     stick was set upright in the ground and to this the beam of
+     a balance was attached by its centre.  Two vessels were hung
+     from the extremities of the beam so as to balance; beneath
+     these two other and larger dishes were placed and filled
+     with water, and in the middle of each a brazen figure,
+     called Manes, was stood.  The game consisted in throwing
+     drops of wine from an agreed distance into one or the other
+     vessel, so that, dragged downwards by the weight of the
+     liquor, it bumped against Manes.
+
+CHORUS Ah! God grant we may see the blessed day. I have suffered so
+much; have so oft slept with Phormio(1) on hard beds. You will no longer
+find me an acid, angry, hard judge as heretofore, but will find me
+turned indulgent and grown younger by twenty years through happiness. We
+have been killing ourselves long enough, tiring ourselves out with going
+to the Lyceum(2) and returning laden with spear and buckler.--But what
+can we do to please you? Come, speak; for 'tis a good Fate that has
+named you our leader.
+
+     f(1) A general of austere habits; he disposed of all his
+     property to pay the cost of a naval expedition, in which he
+     beat the fleet of the foe off the promontory of Rhium in 429
+     B.C.
+
+     f(2) The Lyceum was a portico ornamented with paintings and
+     surrounded with gardens, in which military exercises took
+     place.
+
+TRYGAEUS How shall we set about removing these stones?
+
+HERMES Rash reprobate, what do you propose doing?
+
+TRYGAEUS Nothing bad, as Cillicon said.(1)
+
+     f(1) A citizen of Miletus, who betrayed his country to the
+     people of Pirene. When asked what he purposed, he replied,
+     "Nothing bad," which expression had therefore passed into a
+     proverb.
+
+HERMES You are undone, you wretch.
+
+TRYGAEUS Yes, if the lot had to decide my life, for Hermes would know
+how to turn the chance.(1)
+
+     f(1) Hermes was the god of chance.
+
+HERMES You are lost, you are dead.
+
+TRYGAEUS On what day?
+
+HERMES This instant.
+
+TRYGAEUS But I have not provided myself with flour and cheese yet(1) to
+start for death.
+
+     f(1) As the soldiers had to do when starting on an
+     expedition.
+
+HERMES You ARE kneaded and ground already, I tell you.(1)
+
+     f(1) That is, you are predicated.
+
+TRYGAEUS Hah! I have not yet tasted that gentle pleasure.
+
+HERMES Don't you know that Zeus has decreed death for him who is
+surprised exhuming Peace?
+
+TRYGAEUS What! must I really and truly die?
+
+HERMES You must.
+
+TRYGAEUS Well then, lend me three drachmae to buy a young pig; I wish to
+have myself initiated before I die.(1)
+
+     f(1) The initiated were thought to enjoy greater happiness
+     after death.
+
+HERMES Oh! Zeus, the Thunderer!(1)
+
+     f(1) He summons Zeus to reveal Trygaeus' conspiracy.
+
+TRYGAEUS I adjure you in the name of the gods, master, don't denounce
+us!
+
+HERMES I may not, I cannot keep silent.
+
+TRYGAEUS In the name of the meats which I brought you so good-naturedly.
+
+HERMES Why, wretched man, Zeus will annihilate me, if I do not shout out
+at the top of my voice, to inform him what you are plotting.
+
+TRYGAEUS Oh, no! don't shout, I beg you, dear little Hermes.... And what
+are you doing, comrades? You stand there as though you were stocks and
+stones. Wretched men, speak, entreat him at once; otherwise he will be
+shouting.
+
+CHORUS Oh! mighty Hermes! don't do it; no, don't do it! If ever you have
+eaten some young pig, sacrificed by us on your altars, with pleasure,
+may this offering not be without value in your sight to-day.
+
+TRYGAEUS Do you not hear them wheedling you, mighty god?
+
+CHORUS Be not pitiless toward our prayers; permit us to deliver
+the goddess. Oh! the most human, the most generous of the gods, be
+favourable toward us, if it be true that you detest the haughty crests
+and proud brows of Pisander;(1) we shall never cease, oh master,
+offering you sacred victims and solemn prayers.
+
+     f(1) An Athenian captain who later had the recall of
+     Alcibiades decreed by the Athenian people; in 'The Birds'
+     Aristophanes represents him as a cowardly beggar.  He was
+     the reactionary leader who established the Oligarchical
+     Government of the Four Hundred, 411 B.C., after the failure
+     of the Syracusan expedition.
+
+TRYGAEUS Have mercy, mercy, let yourself be touched by their words;
+never was your worship so dear to them as to-day.
+
+HERMES I' truth, never have you been greater thieves.(1)
+
+     f(1) Among other attributes, Hermes was the god of thieves.
+
+TRYGAEUS I will reveal a great, a terrible conspiracy against the gods
+to you.
+
+HERMES Hah! speak and perchance I shall let myself be softened.
+
+TRYGAEUS Know then, that the Moon and that infamous Sun are plotting
+against you, and want to deliver Greece into the hands of the
+Barbarians.
+
+HERMES What for?
+
+TRYGAEUS Because it is to you that we sacrifice, whereas the barbarians
+worship them; hence they would like to see you destroyed, that they
+alone might receive the offerings.
+
+HERMES 'Tis then for this reason that these untrustworthy charioteers
+have for so long been defrauding us, one of them robbing us of daylight
+and the other nibbling away at the other's disk.(1)
+
+     f(1) Alluding to the eclipses of the sun and the moon.
+
+TRYGAEUS Yes, certainly. So therefore, Hermes, my friend, help us with
+your whole heart to find and deliver the captive and we will celebrate
+the great Panathenaea(1) in your honour as well as all the festivals
+of the other gods; for Hermes shall be the Mysteries, the Dipolia, the
+Adonia; everywhere the towns, freed from their miseries, will sacrifice
+to Hermes the Liberator; you will be loaded with benefits of every kind,
+and to start with, I offer you this cup for libations as your first
+present.
+
+     f(1) The Panathenaea were dedicated to Athene, the Mysteries
+     to Demeter, the Dipolia to Zeus, the Adonia to Aphrodite and
+     Adonis. Trygaeus promises Hermes that he shall be worshipped
+     in the place of the other gods.
+
+HERMES Ah! how golden cups do influence me! Come, friends, get to work.
+To the pit quickly, pick in hand, and drag away the stones.
+
+CHORUS We go, but you, cleverest of all the gods, supervise our labours;
+tell us, good workman as you are, what we must do; we shall obey your
+orders with alacrity.
+
+TRYGAEUS Quick, reach me your cup, and let us preface our work by
+addressing prayers to the gods.
+
+HERMES Oh! sacred, sacred libations! Keep silence, oh! ye people! keep
+silence!
+
+TRYGAEUS Let us offer our libations and our prayers, so that this day
+may begin an era of unalloyed happiness for Greece and that he who has
+bravely pulled at the rope with us may never resume his buckler.
+
+CHORUS Aye, may we pass our lives in peace, caressing our mistresses and
+poking the fire.
+
+TRYGAEUS May he who would prefer the war, oh Dionysus, be ever drawing
+barbed arrows out of his elbows.
+
+HERMES If there be a citizen, greedy for military rank and honours who
+refuses, oh, divine Peace! to restore you to daylight, may he behave as
+cowardly as Cleonymus on the battlefield.
+
+TRYGAEUS If a lance-maker or a dealer in shields desires war for the
+sake of better trade, may he be taken by pirates and eat nothing but
+barley.
+
+CHORUS If some ambitious man does not help us, because he wants to
+become a General, or if a slave is plotting to pass over to the enemy,
+let his limbs be broken on the wheel, may he be beaten to death with
+rods! As for us, may Fortune favour us! Io! Paean, Io!
+
+TRYGAEUS Don't say Paean,(1) but simply, Io.
+
+     f(1) The pun here cannot be kept.  The word (in Greek),
+     Paean, resembles (that for) to strike; hence the word, as
+     recalling the blows and wounds of the war, seems of ill omen
+     to Trygaeus.
+
+HERMES Very well, then! Io! Io! I'll simply say, Io!
+
+TRYGAEUS To Hermes, the Graces, Hora, Aphrodite, Eros!
+
+CHORUS But not to Ares?
+
+TRYGAEUS No.
+
+CHORUS Nor doubtless to Enyalius?
+
+TRYGAEUS No.
+
+CHORUS Come, all strain at the ropes to tear away the stones. Pull!
+
+HERMES Heave away, heave, heave, oh!
+
+CHORUS Come, pull harder, harder.
+
+HERMES Heave away, heave, heave, oh!
+
+CHORUS Still harder, harder still.
+
+HERMES Heave away, heave! Heave away, heave, heave, oh!
+
+TRYGAEUS Come, come, there is no working together. Come! all pull at the
+same instant! you Boeotians are only pretending. Beware!
+
+HERMES Come, heave away, heave!
+
+CHORUS Hi! you two pull as well.
+
+TRYGAEUS Why, I am pulling, I am hanging on to the rope and straining
+till I am almost off my feet; I am working with all my might.
+
+CHORUS Why does not the work advance then?
+
+TRYGAEUS Lamachus, this is too bad! You are in the way, sitting there.
+We have no use for your Medusa's head, friend.(1)
+
+     f(1) The device on his shield was a Gorgon's head.  (See
+     'The Acharnians.')
+
+HERMES But hold, the Argives have not pulled the least bit; they have
+done nothing but laugh at us for our pains while they were getting gain
+with both hands.(1)
+
+     f(1) Both Sparta and Athens had sought the alliance of the
+     Argives; they had kept themselves strictly neutral and had
+     received pay from both sides. But, the year after the
+     production of 'The Wasps,' they openly joined Athens, had
+     attacked Epidaurus and got cut to pieces by the Spartans.
+
+TRYGAEUS Ah! my dear sir, the Laconians at all events pull with vigour.
+
+CHORUS But look! only those among them who generally hold the
+plough-tail show any zeal,(1) while the armourers impede them in their
+efforts.
+
+     f(1) These are the Spartan prisoners from Sphacteria, who
+     were lying in goal at Athens.  They were chained fast to
+     large beams of wood.
+
+HERMES And the Megarians too are doing nothing, yet look how they are
+pulling and showing their teeth like famished curs; The poor wretches
+are dying of hunger!(1)
+
+     f(1) 'Twas want of force, not want of will.  They had
+     suffered more than any other people from the war.  (See 'The
+     Acharnians.')
+
+TRYGAEUS This won't do, friends. Come! all together! Everyone to the
+work and with a good heart for the business.
+
+HERMES Heave away, heave!
+
+TRYGAEUS Harder!
+
+HERMES Heave away, heave!
+
+TRYGAEUS Come on then, by heaven.
+
+HERMES Heave away, heave! Heave away, heave!
+
+CHORUS This will never do.
+
+TRYGAEUS Is it not a shame? some pull one way and others another. You,
+Argives there, beware of a thrashing!
+
+HERMES Come, put your strength into it.
+
+TRYGAEUS Heave away, heave!
+
+CHORUS There are many ill-disposed folk among us.
+
+TRYGAEUS Do you at least, who long for peace, pull heartily.
+
+CHORUS But there are some who prevent us.
+
+HERMES Off to the Devil with you, Megarians! The goddess hates you. She
+recollects that you were the first to rub her the wrong way. Athenians,
+you are not well placed for pulling. There you are too busy with
+law-suits; if you really want to free the goddess, get down a little
+towards the sea.(1)
+
+     f(1) Meaning, look chiefly to your fleet.  This was the
+     counsel that Themistocles frequently gave the Athenians.
+
+CHORUS Come, friends, none but husbandmen on the rope.
+
+HERMES Ah! that will do ever so much better.
+
+CHORUS He says the thing is going well. Come, all of you, together and
+with a will.
+
+TRYGAEUS 'Tis the husbandmen who are doing all the work.
+
+CHORUS Come then, come, and all together! Hah! hah! at last there is
+some unanimity in the work. Don't let us give up, let us redouble our
+efforts. There! now we have it! Come then, all together! Heave away,
+heave! Heave away, heave! Heave away, heave! Heave away, heave! Heave
+away, heave! All together! (PEACE IS DRAWN OUT OF THE PIT.)
+
+TRYGAEUS Oh! venerated goddess, who givest us our grapes, where am I to
+find the ten-thousand-gallon words(1) wherewith to greet thee? I have
+none such at home. Oh! hail to thee, Opora,(2) and thee, Theoria!(3) How
+beautiful is thy face! How sweet thy breath! What gentle fragrance comes
+from thy bosom, gentle as freedom from military duty, as the most dainty
+perfumes!
+
+     f(1) A metaphor referring to the abundant vintages that
+     peace would assure.
+
+     f(2) The goddess of fruits.
+
+     f(3) Aristophanes personifies under this name the sacred
+     ceremonies in general which peace would allow to be
+     celebrated with due pomp. Opora and Theoria come on the
+     stage in the wake of Peace, clothed and decked out as
+     courtesans.
+
+HERMES Is it then a smell like a soldier's knapsack?
+
+TRYGAEUS Oh! hateful soldier! your hideous satchel makes me sick! it
+stinks like the belching of onions, whereas this lovable deity has the
+odour of sweet fruits, of festivals, of the Dionysia, of the harmony of
+flutes, of the comic poets, of the verses of Sophocles, of the phrases
+of Euripides...
+
+HERMES That's a foul calumny, you wretch! She detests that framer of
+subtleties and quibbles.
+
+TRYGAEUS ...of ivy, of straining-bags for wine, of bleating ewes, of
+provision-laden women hastening to the kitchen, of the tipsy servant
+wench, of the upturned wine-jar, and of a whole heap of other good
+things.
+
+HERMES Then look how the reconciled towns chat pleasantly together, how
+they laugh; and yet they are all cruelly mishandled; their wounds are
+bleeding still.
+
+TRYGAEUS But let us also scan the mien of the spectators; we shall thus
+find out the trade of each.
+
+HERMES Ah! good gods! Look at that poor crest-maker, tearing at his
+hair,(1) and at that pike-maker, who has just broken wind in yon
+sword-cutler's face.
+
+     f(1) Aristophanes has already shown us the husbandmen and
+     workers in peaceful trades pulling at the rope the extricate
+     Peace, while the armourers hindered them by pulling the
+     other way.
+
+TRYGAEUS And do you see with what pleasure this sickle-maker is making
+long noses at the spear-maker?
+
+HERMES Now ask the husbandmen to be off.
+
+TRYGAEUS Listen, good folk! Let the husbandmen take their farming tools
+and return to their fields as quick as possible, but without either
+sword, spear or javelin. All is as quiet as if Peace had been reigning
+for a century. Come, let everyone go till the earth, singing the Paean.
+
+CHORUS Oh, thou, whom men of standing desired and who art good to
+husbandmen, I have gazed upon thee with delight; and now I go to greet
+my vines, to caress after so long an absence the fig trees I planted in
+my youth.
+
+TRYGAEUS Friends, let us first adore the goddess, who has delivered us
+from crests and Gorgons;(1) then let us hurry to our farms, having first
+bought a nice little piece of salt fish to eat in the fields.
+
+     f(1) An allusion to Lamachus' shield.
+
+HERMES By Posidon! what a fine crew they make and dense as the crust of
+a cake; they are as nimble as guests on their way to a feast.
+
+TRYGAEUS See, how their iron spades glitter and how beautifully their
+three-pronged mattocks glisten in the sun! How regularly they align the
+plants! I also burn myself to go into the country and to turn over the
+earth I have so long neglected.--Friends, do you remember the happy life
+that Peace afforded us formerly; can you recall the splendid baskets
+of figs, both fresh and dried, the myrtles, the sweet wine, the violets
+blooming near the spring, and the olives, for which we have wept so
+much? Worship, adore the goddess for restoring you so many blessings.
+
+CHORUS Hail! hail! thou beloved divinity! thy return overwhelms us with
+joy. When far from thee, my ardent wish to see my fields again made me
+pine with regret. From thee came all blessings. Oh! much desired Peace!
+thou art the sole support of those who spend their lives tilling the
+earth. Under thy rule we had a thousand delicious enjoyments at our
+beck; thou wert the husbandman's wheaten cake and his safeguard. So that
+our vineyards, our young fig-tree woods and all our plantations hail
+thee with delight and smile at thy coming. But where was she then,
+I wonder, all the long time she spent away from us? Hermes, thou
+benevolent god, tell us!
+
+HERMES Wise husbandmen, hearken to my words, if you want to know why
+she was lost to you. The start of our misfortunes was the exile of
+Phidias;(1) Pericles feared he might share his ill-luck, he mistrusted
+your peevish nature and, to prevent all danger to himself, he threw out
+that little spark, the Megarian decree,(2) set the city aflame, and blew
+up the conflagration with a hurricane of war, so that the smoke drew
+tears from all Greeks both here and over there. At the very outset of
+this fire our vines were a-crackle, our casks knocked together;(3)
+it was beyond the power of any man to stop the disaster, and Peace
+disappeared.
+
+     f(1) Having been commissioned to execute a statue of Athene,
+     Phidias was accused of having stolen part of the gold given
+     him out of the public treasury for its decoration.  Rewarded
+     for his work by calumny and banishment, he resolved to make
+     a finer statue than his Athene, and executed one for the
+     temple of Elis, that of the Olympian Zeus, which was
+     considered one of the wonders of the world.
+
+     f(2) He had issued a decree, which forbade the admission of
+     any Megarian on Attic soil, and also all trade with that
+     people.  The Megarians, who obtained all their provisions
+     from Athens, were thus almost reduced to starvation.
+
+     f(3) That is, the vineyards were ravaged from the very
+     outset of the war, and this increased the animosity.
+
+TRYGAEUS That, by Apollo! is what no one ever told me; I could not think
+what connection there could be between Phidias and Peace.
+
+CHORUS Nor I; I know it now. This accounts for her beauty, if she is
+related to him. There are so many things that escape us.
+
+HERMES Then, when the towns subject to you saw that you were angered one
+against the other and were showing each other your teeth like dogs, they
+hatched a thousand plots to pay you no more dues and gained over
+the chief citizens of Sparta at the price of gold. They, being as
+shamelessly greedy as they were faithless in diplomacy, chased off Peace
+with ignominy to let loose War. Though this was profitable to them,
+'twas the ruin of the husbandmen, who were innocent of all blame; for,
+in revenge, your galleys went out to devour their figs.
+
+TRYGAEUS And 'twas with justice too; did they not break down my black
+fig tree, which I had planted and dunged with my own hands?
+
+CHORUS Yes, by Zeus! yes, 'twas well done; the wretches broke a chest
+for me with stones, which held six medimni of corn.
+
+HERMES Then the rural labourers flocked into the city(1) and let
+themselves be bought over like the others. Not having even a grape-stone
+to munch and longing after their figs, they looked towards the
+orators.(2) These well knew that the poor were driven to extremity and
+lacked even bread; but they nevertheless drove away the Goddess, each
+time she reappeared in answer to the wish of the country, with their
+loud shrieks that were as sharp as pitchforks; furthermore, they
+attacked the well-filled purses of the richest among our allies on the
+pretence that they belonged to Brasidas' party.(3) And then you would
+tear the poor accused wretch to pieces with your teeth; for the city,
+all pale with hunger and cowed with terror, gladly snapped up any
+calumny that was thrown it to devour. So the strangers, seeing what
+terrible blows the informers dealt, sealed their lips with gold. They
+grew rich, while you, alas! you could only see that Greece was going to
+ruin. 'Twas the tanner who was the author of all this woe.(4)
+
+     f(1) Driven in from the country parts by the Lacedaemonian
+     invaders.
+
+     f(2) The demagogues, who distributed the slender dole given
+     to the poor, and by that means exercised undue power over
+     them.
+
+     f(3) Meaning, the side of the Spartans.
+
+     f(4) Cleon.
+
+TRYGAEUS Enough said, Hermes, leave that man in Hades, whither he has
+gone; he no longer belongs to us, but rather to yourself.(1) That he
+was a cheat, a braggart, a calumniator when alive, why, nothing could be
+truer; but anything you might say now would be an insult to one of your
+own folk. Oh! venerated Goddess! why art thou silent?
+
+     f(1) It was Hermes who conducted the souls of the dead down
+     to the lower regions.
+
+HERMES And how could she speak to the spectators? She is too angry at
+all that they have made her suffer.
+
+TRYGAEUS At least let her speak a little to you, Hermes.
+
+HERMES Tell me, my dear, what are your feelings with regard to them?
+Come, you relentless foe of all bucklers, speak; I am listening to you.
+(PEACE WHISPERS INTO HERMES' EAR.) Is that your grievance against them?
+Yes, yes, I understand. Hearken, you folk, this is her complaint. She
+says, that after the affair of Pylos(1) she came to you unbidden to
+bring you a basket full of truces and that you thrice repulsed her by
+your votes in the assembly.
+
+     f(1) The Spartans had thrice offered to make peace after the
+     Pylos disaster.
+
+TRYGAEUS Yes, we did wrong, but forgive us, for our mind was then
+entirely absorbed in leather.(1)
+
+     f(1) i.e. dominated by Cleon.
+
+HERMES Listen again to what she has just asked me. Who was her greatest
+foe here? and furthermore, had she a friend who exerted himself to put
+an end to the fighting?
+
+TRYGAEUS Her most devoted friend was Cleonymus; it is undisputed.
+
+HERMES How then did Cleonymus behave in fights?
+
+TRYGAEUS Oh! the bravest of warriors! Only he was not born of the father
+he claims; he showed it quick enough in the army by throwing away his
+weapons.(1)
+
+     f(1) There is a pun here that cannot be rendered between
+     (the Greek for) 'one who throws away his weapons' and 'a
+     supposititious child.'
+
+HERMES There is yet another question she has just put to me. Who rules
+now in the rostrum?
+
+TRYGAEUS 'Tis Hyperbolus, who now holds empire on the Pnyx. (TO PEACE)
+What now? you turn away your head!
+
+HERMES She is vexed, that the people should give themselves a wretch of
+that kind for their chief.
+
+TRYGAEUS Oh! we shall not employ him again; but the people, seeing
+themselves without a leader, took him haphazard, just as a man, who is
+naked, springs upon the first cloak he sees.
+
+HERMES She asks, what will be the result of such a choice of the city?
+
+TRYGAEUS We shall be more far-seeing in consequence.
+
+HERMES And why?
+
+TRYGAEUS Because he is a lamp-maker. Formerly we only directed our
+business by groping in the dark; now we shall only deliberate by
+lamplight.
+
+HERMES Oh! oh! what questions she does order me to put to you!
+
+TRYGAEUS What are they?
+
+HERMES She wants to have news of a whole heap of old-fashioned things
+she left here. First of all, how is Sophocles?
+
+TRYGAEUS Very well, but something very strange has happened to him.
+
+HERMES What then?
+
+TRYGAEUS He has turned from Sophocles into Simonides.(1)
+
+     f(1) Simonides was very avaricious, and sold his pen to the
+     highest bidder. It seems that Sophocles had also started
+     writing for gain.
+
+HERMES Into Simonides? How so?
+
+TRYGAEUS Because, though old and broken-down as he is, he would put to
+sea on a hurdle to gain an obolus.(1)
+
+     f(1) i.e. he would recoil from no risk to turn an honest
+     penny.
+
+HERMES And wise Cratinus,(1) is he still alive?
+
+     f(1) A comic poet as well known for his love of wine as for
+     his writings; he died in 431 B.C., the first year of the
+     war, at the age of ninety-seven.
+
+TRYGAEUS He died about the time of the Laconian invasion.
+
+HERMES How?
+
+TRYGAEUS Of a swoon. He could not bear the shock of seeing one of his
+casks full of wine broken. Ah! what a number of other misfortunes our
+city has suffered! So, dearest mistress, nothing can now separate us
+from thee.
+
+HERMES If that be so, receive Opora here for a wife; take her to the
+country, live with her, and grow fine grapes together.(1)
+
+     f(1) Opora was the goddess of fruits.
+
+TRYGAEUS Come, my dear friend, come and accept my kisses. Tell me,
+Hermes, my master, do you think it would hurt me to love her a little,
+after so long an abstinence?
+
+HERMES No, not if you swallow a potion of penny-royal afterwards.(1) But
+hasten to lead Theoria(2) to the Senate; 'twas there she lodged before.
+
+     f(1) The scholiast says fruit may be eaten with impunity in
+     great quantities if care is taken to drink a decoction of
+     this herb afterwards.
+
+     f(2) Theoria is confided to the care of the Senate, because
+     it was this body who named the deputies appointed to go and
+     consult the oracles beyond the Attic borders to be present
+     at feats and games.
+
+TRYGAEUS Oh! fortunate Senate! Thanks to Theoria, what soups you will
+swallow for the space of three days!(1) how you will devour meats and
+cooked tripe! Come, farewell, friend Hermes!
+
+     f(1) The great festivals, e.g. the Dionysia, lasted three
+     days.  Those in honour of the return of Peace, which was so
+     much desired, could not last a shorter time.
+
+HERMES And to you also, my dear sir, may you have much happiness, and
+don't forget me.
+
+TRYGAEUS Come, beetle, home, home, and let us fly on a swift wing.
+
+HERMES Oh! he is no longer here.
+
+TRYGAEUS Where has he gone to then?
+
+HERMES He is harnessed to the chariot of Zeus and bears the thunder
+bolts.
+
+TRYGAEUS But where will the poor wretch get his food?
+
+HERMES He will eat Ganymede's ambrosia.
+
+TRYGAEUS Very well then, but how am I going to descend?
+
+HERMES Oh! never fear, there is nothing simpler; place yourself beside
+the goddess.
+
+TRYGAEUS Come, my pretty maidens, follow me quickly; there are plenty of
+folk awaiting you with ready weapons.
+
+CHORUS Farewell and good luck be yours! Let us begin by handing over all
+this gear to the care of our servants, for no place is less safe than a
+theatre; there is always a crowd of thieves prowling around it, seeking
+to find some mischief to do. Come, keep a good watch over all this.
+As for ourselves, let us explain to the spectators what we have in our
+minds, the purpose of our play.
+
+Undoubtedly the comic poet who mounted the stage to praise himself
+in the parabasis would deserve to be handed over to the sticks of the
+beadles. Nevertheless, oh Muse, if it be right to esteem the most honest
+and illustrious of our comic writers at his proper value, permit our
+poet to say that he thinks he has deserved a glorious renown. First of
+all, 'tis he who has compelled his rivals no longer to scoff at rags
+or to war with lice; and as for those Heracles, always chewing and ever
+hungry, those poltroons and cheats who allow themselves to be beaten
+at will, he was the first to cover them with ridicule and to chase them
+from the stage;(1) he has also dismissed that slave, whom one never
+failed to set a-weeping before you, so that his comrade might have
+the chance of jeering at his stripes and might ask, "Wretch, what has
+happened to your hide? Has the lash rained an army of its thongs on
+you and laid your back waste?" After having delivered us from all these
+wearisome ineptitudes and these low buffooneries, he has built up for
+us a great art, like a palace with high towers, constructed of fine
+phrases, great thoughts and of jokes not common on the streets.
+Moreover 'tis not obscure private persons or women that he stages in his
+comedies; but, bold as Heracles, 'tis the very greatest whom he attacks,
+undeterred by the fetid stink of leather or the threats of hearts of
+mud. He has the right to say, "I am the first ever dared to go straight
+for that beast with the sharp teeth and the terrible eyes that flashed
+lambent fire like those of Cynna,(2) surrounded by a hundred lewd
+flatterers, who spittle-licked him to his heart's content; it had a
+voice like a roaring torrent, the stench of a seal, a foul Lamia's
+testicles and the rump of a camel."(3)
+
+I did not recoil in horror at the sight of such a monster, but fought
+him relentlessly to win your deliverance and that of the Islanders. Such
+are the services which should be graven in your recollection and entitle
+me to your thanks. Yet I have not been seen frequenting the wrestling
+school intoxicated with success and trying to tamper with young boys;(4)
+but I took all my theatrical gear(5) and returned straight home. I
+pained folk but little and caused them much amusement; my conscience
+rebuked me for nothing. Hence both grown men and youths should be on my
+side and I likewise invite the bald(6) to give me their votes; for, if I
+triumph, everyone will say, both at table and at festivals, "Carry this
+to the bald man, give these cakes to the bald one, do not grudge the
+poet whose talent shines as bright as his own bare skull the share he
+deserves."
+
+Oh, Muse! drive the War far from our city and come to preside over our
+dances, if you love me; come and celebrate the nuptials of the gods, the
+banquets of us mortals and the festivals of the fortunate; these are the
+themes that inspire thy most poetic songs. And should Carcinus come to
+beg thee for admission with his sons to thy chorus, refuse all traffic
+with them; remember they are but gelded birds, stork-necked dancers,
+mannikins about as tall as a pat of goat dung, in fact machine-made
+poets.(7) Contrary to all expectation, the father has at last managed
+to finish a piece, but he owns himself that a cat strangled it one fine
+evening.(8)
+
+Such are the songs(9) with which the Muse with the glorious hair
+inspires the able poet and which enchant the assembled populace, when
+the spring swallow twitters beneath the foliage;(10) but the god spare
+us from the chorus of Morsimus and that of Melanthius!(11) Oh! what a
+bitter discordancy grated upon my ears that day when the tragic
+chorus was directed by this same Melanthius and his brother, these two
+Gorgons,(12) these two harpies, the plague of the seas, whose gluttonous
+bellies devour the entire race of fishes, these followers of old women,
+these goats with their stinking arm-pits. Oh! Muse, spit upon them
+abundantly and keep the feast gaily with me.
+
+     f(1) In spite of what he says, Aristophanes has not always
+     disdained this sort of low comedy--for instance, his
+     Heracles in 'The Birds.'
+
+     f(2) A celebrated Athenian courtesan of Aristophanes' day.
+
+     f(3) Cleon.  These four verses are here repeated from the
+     parabasis of 'The Wasps,' produced 423 B.C., the year before
+     this play.
+
+     f(4) Shafts aimed at certain poets, who used their renown as
+     a means of seducing young men to grant them pederastic
+     favours.
+
+     f(5) The poet supplied everything needful for the production
+     of his piece--vases, dresses, masks, etc.
+
+     f(6) Aristophanes was bald himself, it would seem.
+
+     f(7) Carcinus and his three sons were both poets and
+     dancers.  (See the closing scene of 'The Wasps.') Perhaps
+     relying little on the literary value of their work, it seems
+     that they sought to please the people by the magnificence of
+     its staging.
+
+     f(8) He had written a piece called 'The Mice,' which he
+     succeeded with great difficulty in getting played, but it
+     met with no success.
+
+     f(9) This passage really follows on the invocation, "Oh,
+     Muse! drive the War," etc., from which indeed it is only
+     divided by the interpolated criticism aimed at Carcinus.
+
+     f(10) The scholiast informs us that these verses are
+     borrowed from a poet of the sixth century B.C.
+
+     f(11) Sons of Philocles, of the family of Aeschylus, tragic
+     writers, derided by Aristophanes as bad poets and notorious
+     gluttons.
+
+     f(12) The Gorgons were represented with great teeth, and
+     therefore the same name was given to gluttons.  The Harpies,
+     to whom the two voracious poets are also compared, were
+     monsters with the face of a woman, the body of a vulture and
+     hooked beak and claws.
+
+TRYGAEUS Ah! 'tis a rough job getting to the gods! my legs are as good
+as broken through it. How small you were, to be sure, when seen from
+heaven! you had all the appearance too of being great rascals; but seen
+close, you look even worse.
+
+SERVANT Is that you, master?
+
+TRYGAEUS So I've been told.
+
+SERVANT What has happened to you?
+
+TRYGAEUS My legs pain me; it is such a plaguey long journey.
+
+SERVANT Oh! tell me...
+
+TRYGAEUS What?
+
+SERVANT Did you see any other man besides yourself strolling about in
+heaven?
+
+TRYGAEUS No, only the souls of two or three dithyrambic poets.
+
+SERVANT What were they doing up there?
+
+TRYGAEUS They were seeking to catch some lyric exordia as they flew by
+immersed in the billows of the air.
+
+SERVANT Is it true, what they tell us, that men are turned into stars
+after death?
+
+TRYGAEUS Quite true.
+
+SERVANT Then who is that star I see over yonder?
+
+TRYGAEUS That is Ion of Chios,(1) the author of an ode beginning
+"Morning"; as soon as ever he got to heaven, they called him "the
+Morning Star."
+
+     f(1) A tragic and dithyrambic poet, who had written many
+     pieces, which had met with great success at Athens.
+
+SERVANT And those stars like sparks, that plough up the air as they dart
+across the sky?(1)
+
+     f(1) The shooting stars.
+
+TRYGAEUS They are the rich leaving the feast with a lantern and a light
+inside it.--But hurry up, show this young girl into my house, clean out
+the bath, heat some water and prepare the nuptial couch for herself and
+me. When 'tis done, come back here; meanwhile I am off to present this
+one to the Senate.
+
+SERVANT But where then did you get these pretty chattels?
+
+TRYGAEUS Where? why in heaven.
+
+SERVANT I would not give more than an obolus for gods who have got to
+keeping brothels like us mere mortals.
+
+TRYGAEUS They are not all so, but there are some up there too who live
+by this trade.
+
+SERVANT Come, that's rich! But I bethink me, shall I give her something
+to eat?
+
+TRYGAEUS No, for she would neither touch bread nor cake; she is used to
+licking ambrosia at the table of the gods.
+
+SERVANT Well, we can give her something to lick down here too.
+
+CHORUS Here is a truly happy old man, as far as I can judge.
+
+TRYGAEUS Ah! but what shall I be, when you see me presently dressed for
+the wedding?
+
+CHORUS Made young again by love and scented with perfumes, your lot will
+be one we all shall envy.
+
+TRYGAEUS And when I lie beside her and caress her bosoms?
+
+CHORUS Oh! then you will be happier than those spinning-tops who call
+Carcinus their father.(1)
+
+     f(1) It has already been mentioned that the sons of Carcinus
+     were dancers.
+
+TRYGAEUS And I well deserve it; have I not bestridden a beetle to save
+the Greeks, who now, thanks to me, can make love at their ease and sleep
+peacefully on their farms?
+
+SERVANT The girl has quitted the bath; she is charming from head to
+foot, both belly and buttocks; the cake is baked and they are kneading
+the sesame-biscuit;(1) nothing is lacking but the bridegroom's virility.
+
+     f(1) It was customary at weddings, says Menander, to give
+     the bride a sesame-caked as an emblem of fruitfulness,
+     because sesame is the most fruitful of all seeds.
+
+TRYGAEUS Let us first hasten to lodge Theoria in the hands of the
+Senate.
+
+SERVANT But tell me, who is this woman?
+
+TRYGAEUS Why, 'tis Theoria, with whom we used formerly to go to
+Brauron,(1) to get tipsy and frolic. I had the greatest trouble to get
+hold of her.
+
+     f(1) An Attic town on the east coast, noted for a
+     magnificent temple, in which stood the statue of Artemis,
+     which Orestes and Iphigenia had brought from the Tauric
+     Chersonese and also for the Brauronia, festivals that were
+     celebrated every four years in honour of the goddess. This
+     was one of the festivals which the Attic people kept with
+     the greatest pomp, and was an occasion for debauchery.
+
+SERVANT Ah! you charmer! what pleasure your pretty bottom will afford me
+every four years!
+
+TRYGAEUS Let us see, who of you is steady enough to be trusted by the
+Senate with the care of this charming wench? Hi! you, friend! what are
+you drawing there?
+
+SERVANT I am drawing the plan of the tent I wish to erect for myself on
+the isthmus.(1)
+
+     f(1) Competitors intending to take part in the great
+     Olympic, Isthmian and other games took with them a tent,
+     wherein to camp in the open.  Further, there is an obscene
+     allusion which the actor indicates by a gesture.
+
+TRYGAEUS Come, who wishes to take the charge of her? No one? Come,
+Theoria, I am going to lead you into the midst of the spectators and
+confide you to their care.
+
+SERVANT Ah! there is one who makes a sign to you.
+
+TRYGAEUS Who is it?
+
+SERVANT 'Tis Ariphrades. He wishes to take her home at once.
+
+TRYGAEUS No, I'm sure he shan't. He would soon have her done for,
+absorbing all her life-force. Come, Theoria, put down all this gear.(1)
+
+Senate, Prytanes, look upon Theoria and see what precious blessings
+I place in your hands. Hasten to raise its limbs and to immolate the
+victim. Admire the fine chimney,(2) it is quite black with smoke, for
+'twas here that the Senate did their cooking before the war. Now that
+you have found Theoria again, you can start the most charming games from
+to-morrow, wrestling with her on the ground, either on your hands and
+feet, or you can lay her on her side, or stand before her with bent
+knees, or, well rubbed with oil, you can boldly enter the lists, as
+in the Pancratium, belabouring your foe with blows from your fist or
+otherwise. The next day you will celebrate equestrian games, in which
+the riders will ride side by side, or else the chariot teams, thrown one
+on top of another, panting and whinnying, will roll and knock against
+each other on the ground, while other rivals, thrown out of their
+seats, will fall before reaching the goal, utterly exhausted by their
+efforts.--Come, Prytanes, take Theoria. Oh! look how graciously yonder
+fellow has received her; you would not have been in such a hurry to
+introduce her to the Senate, if nothing were coming to you through
+it;(3) you would not have failed to plead some holiday as an excuse.
+
+     f(1) Doubtless the vessels and other sacrificial objects and
+     implements with which Theoria was laden in her character of
+     presiding deity at religious ceremonies.
+
+     f(2) Where the meats were cooked after sacrifice; this also
+     marks the secondary obscene sense he means to convey.
+
+     f(3) One of the offices of the Prytanes was to introduce
+     those who asked admission to the Senate, but it would seem
+     that none could obtain this favour without payment.  Without
+     this, a thousand excuses would be made; for instance, it
+     would be a public holiday, and consequently the Senate could
+     receive no one.  As there was some festival nearly every
+     day, he whose purse would not open might have to wait a very
+     long while.
+
+CHORUS Such a man as you assures the happiness of all his
+fellow-citizens.
+
+TRYGAEUS When you are gathering your vintages you will prize me even
+better.
+
+CHORUS E'en from to-day we hail you as the deliverer of mankind.
+
+TRYGAEUS Wait until you have drunk a beaker of new wine, before you
+appraise my true merits.
+
+CHORUS Excepting the gods, there is none greater than yourself, and that
+will ever be our opinion.
+
+TRYGAEUS Yea, Trygaeus of Athmonia has deserved well of you, he has
+freed both husbandman and craftsman from the most cruel ills; he has
+vanquished Hyberbolus.
+
+SERVANT Well then, what must be done now?
+
+TRYGAEUS You must offer pots of green-stuff to the goddess to consecrate
+her altars.
+
+SERVANT Pots of green-stuff(1) as we do to poor Hermes--and even he
+thinks the fare but mean?
+
+     f(1) This was only offered to lesser deities.
+
+TRYGAEUS What will you offer them? A fatted bull?
+
+SERVANT Oh no! I don't want to start bellowing the battle-cry.(1)
+
+     f(1) In the Greek we have a play upon the similarity of the
+     words (for) a bull, and to shout the battle-cry.
+
+TRYGAEUS A great fat swine then?
+
+SERVANT No, no.
+
+TRYGAEUS Why not?
+
+SERVANT We don't want any of the swinishness of Theagenes.(1)
+
+     f(1) Theagenes, of the Piraeus, a hideous, coarse, debauched
+     and evil-living character of the day.
+
+TRYGAEUS What other victim do you prefer then?
+
+SERVANT A sheep.
+
+TRYGAEUS A sheep?
+
+SERVANT Yes.
+
+TRYGAEUS But you must give the word the Ionic form.
+
+SERVANT Purposely. So that if anyone in the assembly says, "We must go
+to war," all may start bleating in alarm, "Oi, oi."(1)
+
+     f(1) That is the vocative of the Ionic form of the word; in
+     Attic Greek it is contracted throughout.
+
+TRYGAEUS A brilliant idea.
+
+SERVANT And we shall all be lambs one toward the other, yea, and milder
+still toward the allies.
+
+TRYGAEUS Then go for the sheep and haste to bring it back with you; I
+will prepare the altar for the sacrifice.
+
+CHORUS How everything succeeds to our wish, when the gods are willing
+and Fortune favours us! how opportunely everything falls out.
+
+TRYGAEUS Nothing could be truer, for look! here stands the altar all
+ready at my door.
+
+CHORUS Hurry, hurry, for the winds are fickle; make haste, while the
+divine will is set on stopping this cruel war and is showering on us the
+most striking benefits.
+
+TRYGAEUS Here is the basket of barley-seed mingled with salt, the
+chaplet and the sacred knife; and there is the fire; so we are only
+waiting for the sheep.
+
+CHORUS Hasten, hasten, for, if Chaeris sees you, he will come without
+bidding, he and his flute; and when you see him puffing and panting and
+out of breath, you will have to give him something.
+
+TRYGAEUS Come, seize the basket and take the lustral water and hurry to
+circle round the altar to the right.
+
+SERVANT There! 'tis done. What is your next bidding?
+
+TRYGAEUS Hold! I take this fire-brand first and plunge it into the
+water.
+
+SERVANT Be quick! be quick! Sprinkle the altar.
+
+TRYGAEUS Give me some barley-seed, purify yourself and hand me the
+basin; then scatter the rest of the barley among the audience.
+
+SERVANT 'Tis done.
+
+TRYGAEUS You have thrown it?
+
+SERVANT Yes, by Hermes! and all the spectators have had their share.
+
+TRYGAEUS But not the women?
+
+SERVANT Oh! their husbands will give it them this evening.(1)
+
+     f(1) An obscene jest.
+
+TRYGAEUS Let us pray! Who is here? Are there any good men?(1)
+
+     f(1) Before sacrificing, the officiating person asked, "Who
+     is here?" and those present answered, "Many good men."
+
+SERVANT Come, give, so that I may sprinkle these. Faith! they are indeed
+good, brave men.
+
+TRYGAEUS You believe so?
+
+SERVANT I am sure, and the proof of it is that we have flooded them with
+lustral water and they have not budged an inch.(1)
+
+     f(1) The actors forming the chorus are meant here.
+
+TRYGAEUS Come, then, to prayers; to prayers, quick!--Oh! Peace, mighty
+queen, venerated goddess, thou, who presidest over choruses and at
+nuptials, deign to accept the sacrifices we offer thee.
+
+SERVANT Receive it, greatly honoured mistress, and behave not like the
+coquettes, who half open the door to entice the gallants, draw back when
+they are stared at, to return once more if a man passes on. But do not
+act like this to us.
+
+TRYGAEUS No, but like an honest woman, show thyself to thy worshippers,
+who are worn with regretting thee all these thirteen years. Hush the
+noise of battle, be a true Lysimacha to us.(1) Put an end to this
+tittle-tattle, to this idle babble, that set us defying one another.
+Cause the Greeks once more to taste the pleasant beverage of friendship
+and temper all hearts with the gentle feeling of forgiveness. Make
+excellent commodities flow to our markets, fine heads of garlic, early
+cucumbers, apples, pomegranates and nice little cloaks for the slaves;
+make them bring geese, ducks, pigeons and larks from Boeotia and baskets
+of eels from Lake Copais; we shall all rush to buy them, disputing their
+possession with Morychus, Teleas, Glaucetes and every other glutton.
+Melanthius(2) will arrive on the market last of all; 'twill be, "no more
+eels, all sold!" and then he'll start a-groaning and exclaiming as in
+his monologue of Medea,(3) "I am dying, I am dying! Alas! I have let
+those hidden in the beet escape me!"(4) And won't we laugh? These are
+the wishes, mighty goddess, which we pray thee to grant.
+
+     f(1) Lysimacha is derived from (the Greek for) put an end
+     to, and (the Greek for) fight.
+
+     f(2) A tragic poet, reputed a great gourmand.
+
+     f(3) A tragedy by Melanthius.
+
+     f(4) Eels were cooked with beet.--A parody on some verses in
+     the 'Medea' of Melanthius.
+
+SERVANT Take the knife and slaughter the sheep like a finished cook.
+
+TRYGAEUS No, the goddess does not wish it.(1)
+
+     f(1) As a matter of fact, the Sicyonians, who celebrated the
+     festival of Peace on the sixteenth day of the month of
+     Hecatombeon (July), spilled no blood upon her altar.
+
+SERVANT And why not?
+
+TRYGAEUS Blood cannot please Peace, so let us spill none upon her altar.
+Therefore go and sacrifice the sheep in the house, cut off the legs and
+bring them here; thus the carcase will be saved for the choregus.
+
+CHORUS You, who remain here, get chopped wood and everything needed for
+the sacrifice ready.
+
+TRYGAEUS Don't I look like a diviner preparing his mystic fire?
+
+CHORUS Undoubtedly. Will anything that it behooves a wise man to
+know escape you? Don't you know all that a man should know, who is
+distinguished for his wisdom and inventive daring?
+
+TRYGAEUS There! the wood catches. Its smoke blinds poor Stilbides.(1) I
+am now going to bring the table and thus be my own slave.
+
+     f(1) A celebrated diviner, who had accompanied the Athenians
+     on their expedition to Sicily.  Thus the War was necessary
+     to make his calling pay and the smoke of the sacrifice
+     offered to Peace must therefore be unpleasant to him.
+
+CHORUS You have braved a thousand dangers to save your sacred town. All
+honour to you! your glory will be ever envied.
+
+SERVANT Hold! Here are the legs, place them upon the altar. For myself,
+I mean to go back to the entrails and the cakes.
+
+TRYGAEUS I'll see to those; I want you here.
+
+SERVANT Well then, here I am. Do you think I have been long?
+
+TRYGAEUS Just get this roasted. Ah! who is this man, crowned with
+laurel, who is coming to me?
+
+SERVANT He has a self-important look; is he some diviner?
+
+TRYGAEUS No, I' faith! 'tis Hierocles.
+
+SERVANT Ah! that oracle-monger from Oreus.(1) What is he going to tell
+us?
+
+     f(1) A town in Euboea on the channel which separated that
+     island from Thessaly.
+
+TRYGAEUS Evidently he is coming to oppose the peace.
+
+SERVANT No, 'tis the odour of the fat that attracts him.
+
+TRYGAEUS Let us appear not to see him.
+
+SERVANT Very well.
+
+HIEROCLES What sacrifice is this? to what god are you offering it?
+
+TRYGAEUS (TO THE SERVANT) Silence!--(ALOUD.) Look after the roasting and
+keep your hands off the meat.
+
+HIEROCLES To whom are you sacrificing? Answer me. Ah! the tail(1) is
+showing favourable omens.
+
+     f(1) When sacrificing, the tail was cut off the victim and
+     thrown into the fire.  From the way in which it burnt the
+     inference was drawn as to whether or not the sacrifice was
+     agreeable to the deity.
+
+SERVANT Aye, very favourable, oh, loved and mighty Peace!
+
+HIEROCLES Come, cut off the first offering(1) and make the oblation.
+
+     f(1) This was the part that belonged to the priests and
+     diviners.  As one of the latter class, Hierocles is in haste
+     to see this piece cut off.
+
+TRYGAEUS 'Tis not roasted enough.
+
+HIEROCLES Yea, truly, 'tis done to a turn.
+
+TRYGAEUS Mind your own business, friend! (TO THE SERVANT.) Cut away.
+Where is the table? Bring the libations.
+
+HIEROCLES The tongue is cut separately.
+
+TRYGAEUS We know all that. But just listen to one piece of advice.
+
+HIEROCLES And that is?
+
+TRYGAEUS Don't talk, for 'tis divine Peace to whom we are sacrificing.
+
+HIEROCLES Oh! wretched mortals, oh, you idiots!
+
+TRYGAEUS Keep such ugly terms for yourself.
+
+HIEROCLES What! you are so ignorant you don't understand the will of the
+gods and you make a treaty, you, who are men, with apes, who are full of
+malice?(1)
+
+     f(1) The Spartans.
+
+TRYGAEUS Ha, ha, ha!
+
+HIEROCLES What are you laughing at?
+
+TRYGAEUS Ha, ha! your apes amuse me!
+
+HIEROCLES You simple pigeons, you trust yourselves to foxes, who are all
+craft, both in mind and heart.
+
+TRYGAEUS Oh, you trouble-maker! may your lungs get as hot as this meat!
+
+HIEROCLES Nay, nay! if only the Nymphs had not fooled Bacis, and Bacis
+mortal men; and if the Nymphs had not tricked Bacis a second time...(1)
+
+     f(1) Emphatic pathos, incomprehensible even to the diviner
+     himself; this is a satire on the obscure style of the
+     oracles.  Bacis was a famous Boeotian diviner.
+
+TRYGAEUS May the plague seize you, if you don't stop wearying us with
+your Bacis!
+
+HIEROCLES ...it would not have been written in the book of Fate that the
+bends of Peace must be broken; but first...
+
+TRYGAEUS The meat must be dusted with salt.
+
+HIEROCLES ...it does not please the blessed gods that we should stop the
+War until the wolf uniteth with the sheep.
+
+TRYGAEUS How, you cursed animal, could the wolf ever unite with the
+sheep?
+
+HIEROCLES As long as the wood-bug gives off a fetid odour, when it
+flies; as long as the noisy bitch is forced by nature to litter blind
+pups, so long shall peace be forbidden.
+
+TRYGAEUS Then what should be done? Not to stop War would be to leave
+it to the decision of chance which of the two people should suffer the
+most, whereas by uniting under a treaty, we share the empire of Greece.
+
+HIEROCLES You will never make the crab walk straight.
+
+TRYGAEUS You shall no longer be fed at the Prytaneum; the war done,
+oracles are not wanted.
+
+HIEROCLES You will never smooth the rough spikes of the hedgehog.
+
+TRYGAEUS Will you never stop fooling the Athenians?
+
+HIEROCLES What oracle ordered you to burn these joints of mutton in
+honour of the gods?
+
+TRYGAEUS This grand oracle of Homer's: "Thus vanished the dark
+war-clouds and we offered a sacrifice to new-born Peace. When the flame
+had consumed the thighs of the victim and its inwards had appeased our
+hunger, we poured out the libations of wine." 'Twas I who arranged the
+sacred rites, but none offered the shining cup to the diviner.(1)
+
+     f(1) Of course this is not a bona fide quotation, but a
+     whimsical adaptation of various Homeric verses; the last is
+     a coinage of his own, and means, that he is to have no part,
+     either in the flesh of the victim or in the wine of the
+     libations.
+
+HIEROCLES I care little for that. 'Tis not the Sibyl who spoke it.(1)
+
+     f(1) Probably the Sibyl of Delphi is meant.
+
+TRYGAEUS Wise Homer has also said: "He who delights in the horrors of
+civil war has neither country nor laws nor home." What noble words!
+
+HIEROCLES Beware lest the kite turn your brain and rob...
+
+TRYGAEUS Look out, slave! This oracle threatens our meat. Quick, pour
+the libation, and give me some of the inwards.
+
+HIEROCLES I too will help myself to a bit, if you like.
+
+TRYGAEUS The libation! the libation!
+
+HIEROCLES Pour out also for me and give me some of this meat.
+
+TRYGAEUS No, the blessed gods won't allow it yet; let us drink; and as
+for you, get you gone, for 'tis their will. Mighty Peace! stay ever in
+our midst.
+
+HIEROCLES Bring the tongue hither.
+
+TRYGAEUS Relieve us of your own.
+
+HIEROCLES The libation.
+
+TRYGAEUS Here! and this into the bargain (STRIKES HIM).
+
+HIEROCLES You will not give me any meat?
+
+TRYGAEUS We cannot give you any until the wolf unites with the sheep.
+
+HIEROCLES I will embrace your knees.
+
+TRYGAEUS 'Tis lost labour, good fellow; you will never smooth the rough
+spikes of the hedgehog.... Come, spectators, join us in our feast.
+
+HIEROCLES And what am I to do?
+
+TRYGAEUS You? go and eat the Sibyl.
+
+HIEROCLES No, by the Earth! no, you shall not eat without me; if you do
+not give, I take; 'tis common property.
+
+TRYGAEUS (TO THE SERVANT) Strike, strike this Bacis, this humbugging
+soothsayer.
+
+HIEROCLES I take to witness...
+
+TRYGAEUS And I also, that you are a glutton and an impostor. Hold him
+tight and beat the impostor with a stick.
+
+SERVANT You look to that; I will snatch the skin from him which he has
+stolen from us.(1) Are you going to let go that skin, you priest from
+hell! do you hear! Oh! what a fine crow has come from Oreus! Stretch
+your wings quickly for Elymnium.(2)
+
+     f(1) The skin of the victim, that is to say.
+
+     f(2) A temple in Euboea, close to Oreus.  The servant means,
+     "Return where you came from."
+
+CHORUS Oh! joy, joy! no more helmet, no more cheese nor onions!(1) No, I
+have no passion for battles; what I love, is to drink with good comrades
+in the corner by the fire when good dry wood, cut in the height of the
+summer, is crackling; it is to cook pease on the coals and beechnuts
+among the embers, 'tis to kiss our pretty Thracian(2) while my wife is
+at the bath. Nothing is more pleasing, when the rain is sprouting our
+sowings, than to chat with some friend, saying, "Tell me, Comarchides,
+what shall we do? I would willingly drink myself, while the heavens are
+watering our fields. Come, wife, cook three measures of beans, adding
+to them a little wheat, and give us some figs. Syra! call Manes off the
+fields, 'tis impossible to prune the vine or to align the ridges, for
+the ground is too wet to-day. Let someone bring me the thrush and those
+two chaffinches; there were also some curds and four pieces of hare,
+unless the cat stole them last evening, for I know not what the infernal
+noise was that I heard in the house. Serve up three of the pieces for
+me, slave, and give the fourth to my father. Go and ask Aeschinades for
+some myrtle branches with berries on them, and then, for 'tis the same
+road, you will invite Charinades to come and drink with me to the honour
+of the gods who watch over our crops." When the grasshopper sings his
+dulcet tune, I love to see the Lemnian vines beginning to ripen, for
+'tis the earliest plant of all. I love likewise to watch the fig filling
+out, and when it has reached maturity I eat with appreciation and
+exclaim, "Oh! delightful season!" Then too I bruise some thyme and
+infuse it in water. Indeed I grow a great deal fatter passing the summer
+in this way than in watching a cursed captain with his three plumes
+and his military cloak of a startling crimson (he calls it true Sardian
+purple), which he takes care to dye himself with Cyzicus saffron in
+a battle; then he is the first to run away, shaking his plumes like a
+great yellow prancing cock,(3) while I am left to watch the nets.(4)
+Once back again in Athens, these brave fellows behave abominably; they
+write down these, they scratch through others, and this backwards
+and forwards two or three times at random. The departure is set for
+to-morrow, and some citizen has brought no provisions, because he didn't
+know he had to go; he stops in front of the statue of Pandion,(5) reads
+his name, is dumbfounded and starts away at a run, weeping bitter tears.
+The townsfolk are less ill-used, but that is how the husbandmen are
+treated by these men of war, the hated of the gods and of men, who
+know nothing but how to throw away their shield. For this reason, if it
+please heaven, I propose to call these rascals to account, for they are
+lions in times of peace, but sneaking foxes when it comes to fighting.
+
+     f(1) This was the soldier's usual ration on duty.
+
+     f(2) Slaves often bore the name of the country of their
+     birth.
+
+     f(3) Because of the new colour which fear had lent his
+     chlamys.
+
+     f(4) Meaning, that he deserts his men in mid-campaign,
+     leaving them to look after the enemy.
+
+     f(5) Ancient King of Athens.  This was one of the twelve
+     statues, on the pedestals of which the names of the soldiers
+     chose for departure on service were written.  The decrees
+     were also placarded on them.
+
+TRYGAEUS Oh! oh! what a crowd for the nuptial feast! Here! dust the
+tables with this crest, which is good for nothing else now. Halloa!
+produce the cakes, the thrushes, plenty of good jugged hare and the
+little loaves.
+
+A SICKLE-MAKER Trygaeus, where is Trygaeus?
+
+TRYGAEUS I am cooking the thrushes.
+
+SICKLE-MAKER Trygaeus, my best of friends, what a fine stroke of
+business you have done for me by bringing back Peace! Formerly my
+sickles would not have sold at an obolus apiece; to-day I am being paid
+fifty drachmae for every one. And here is a neighbour who is selling his
+casks for the country at three drachmae each. So come, Trygaeus, take as
+many sickles and casks as you will for nothing. Accept them for nothing;
+'tis because of our handsome profits on our sales that we offer you
+these wedding presents.
+
+TRYGAEUS Thanks. Put them all down inside there, and come along quick to
+the banquet. Ah! do you see that armourer yonder coming with a wry face?
+
+A CREST-MAKER Alas! alas! Trygaeus, you have ruined me utterly.
+
+TRYGAEUS What! won't the crests go any more, friend?
+
+CREST-MAKER You have killed my business, my livelihood, and that of this
+poor lance-maker too.
+
+TRYGAEUS Come, come, what are you asking for these two crests?
+
+CREST-MAKER What do you bid for them?
+
+TRYGAEUS What do I bid? Oh! I am ashamed to say. Still, as the clasp
+is of good workmanship, I would give two, even three measures of dried
+figs; I could use 'em for dusting the table.
+
+CREST-MAKER All right, tell them to bring me the dried figs; 'tis always
+better than nothing.
+
+TRYGAEUS Take them away, be off with your crests and get you gone; they
+are moulting, they are losing all their hair; I would not give a single
+fig for them.
+
+A BREASTPLATE-MAKER Good gods, what am I going to do with this fine
+ten-minae breastplate, which is so splendidly made?
+
+TRYGAEUS Oh, you will lose nothing over it.
+
+BREASTPLATE-MAKER I will sell it to you at cost price.
+
+TRYGAEUS 'Twould be very useful as a night-stool...
+
+BREASTPLATE-MAKER Cease your insults, both to me and my wares.
+
+TRYGAEUS ...if propped on three stones. Look, 'tis admirable.
+
+BREASTPLATE-MAKER But how can you wipe, idiot?
+
+TRYGAEUS I can pass one hand through here, and the other there, and
+so...
+
+BREASTPLATE-MAKER What! do you wipe with both hands?
+
+TRYGAEUS Aye, so that I may not be accused of robbing the State, by
+blocking up an oar-hole in the galley.(1)
+
+     f(1) The trierarchs stopped up some of the holes made for
+     the oars, in order to reduce the number of rowers they had
+     to supply for the galleys; they thus saved the wages of the
+     rowers they dispensed with.
+
+BREASTPLATE-MAKER So you would pay ten minae(1) for a night-stool?
+
+     f(1) The mina was equivalent to about three pounds, ten
+     shillings.
+
+TRYGAEUS Undoubtedly, you rascal. Do you think I would sell my rump for
+a thousand drachmae?(1)
+
+     f(1) Which is the same thing, since a mina was worth a
+     hundred drachmae.
+
+BREASTPLATE-MAKER Come, have the money paid over to me.
+
+TRYGAEUS No, friend; I find it hurts me to sit on. Take it away, I won't
+buy it.
+
+A TRUMPET-MAKER What is to be done with this trumpet, for which I gave
+sixty drachmae the other day?
+
+TRYGAEUS Pour lead into the hollow and fit a good, long stick to the
+top; and you will have a balanced cottabos.(1)
+
+     f(1) For 'cottabos' see note above.
+
+TRUMPET-MAKER Ha! would you mock me?
+
+TRYGAEUS Well, here's another notion. Pour in lead as I said, add here a
+dish hung on strings, and you will have a balance for weighing the figs
+which you give your slaves in the fields.
+
+A HELMET-MAKER Cursed fate! I am ruined. Here are helmets, for which I
+gave a mina each. What I to do with them? who will buy them?
+
+TRYGAEUS Go and sell them to the Egyptians; they will do for measuring
+loosening medicines.(1)
+
+     f(1) Syrmoea, a kind of purgative syrup much used by the
+     Egyptians, made of antiscorbutic herbs, such as mustard,
+     horse-radish, etc.
+
+A SPEAR-MAKER Ah! poor helmet-maker, things are indeed in a bad way.
+
+TRYGAEUS That man has no cause for complaint.
+
+SPEAR-MAKER But helmets will be no more used.
+
+TRYGAEUS Let him learn to fit a handle to them and he can sell them for
+more money.(1)
+
+     f(1) As wine-pots or similar vessels.
+
+SPEAR-MAKER Let us be off, comrade.
+
+TRYGAEUS No, I want to buy these spears.
+
+SPEAR-MAKER What will you give?
+
+TRYGAEUS If they could be split in two, I would take them at a drachma
+per hundred to use as vine-props.
+
+SPEAR-MAKER The insolent dog! Let us go, friend.
+
+TRYGAEUS Ah! here come the guests, children from the table to relieve
+themselves; I fancy they also want to hum over what they will be singing
+presently. Hi! child! what do you reckon to sing? Stand there and give
+me the opening line.
+
+THE SON OF LAMACHUS "Glory to the young warriors..."
+
+TRYGAEUS Oh! leave off about your young warriors, you little wretch; we
+are at peace and you are an idiot and a rascal.
+
+SON OF LAMACHUS "The skirmish begins, the hollow bucklers clash against
+each other."(1)
+
+     f(1) These verses and those which both Trygaeus and the son
+     of Lamachus quote afterwards are borrowed from the 'Iliad.'
+
+TRYGAEUS Bucklers! Leave me in peace with your bucklers.
+
+SON OF LAMACHUS "And then there came groanings and shouts of victory."
+
+TRYGAEUS Groanings! ah! by Bacchus! look out for yourself, you cursed
+squaller, if you start wearying us again with your groanings and hollow
+bucklers.
+
+SON OF LAMACHUS Then what should I sing? Tell me what pleases you.
+
+TRYGAEUS "'Tis thus they feasted on the flesh of oxen," or something
+similar, as, for instance, "Everything that could tickle the palate was
+placed on the table."
+
+SON OF LAMACHUS "'Tis thus they feasted on the flesh of oxen and, tired
+of warfare, unharnessed their foaming steeds."
+
+TRYGAEUS That's splendid; tired of warfare, they seat themselves at
+table; sing, sing to us how they still go on eating after they are
+satiated.
+
+SON OF LAMACHUS "The meal over, they girded themselves..."
+
+TRYGAEUS With good wine, no doubt?
+
+SON OF LAMACHUS "...with armour and rushed forth from the towers, and a
+terrible shout arose."
+
+TRYGAEUS Get you gone, you little scapegrace, you and your battles! You
+sing of nothing but warfare. Who is your father then?
+
+SON OF LAMACHUS My father?
+
+TRYGAEUS Why yes, your father.
+
+SON OF LAMACHUS I am Lamachus' son.
+
+TRYGAEUS Oh! oh! I could indeed have sworn, when I was listening to you,
+that you were the son of some warrior who dreams of nothing but wounds
+and bruises, of some Boulomachus or Clausimachus;(1) go and sing your
+plaguey songs to the spearmen.... Where is the son of Cleonymus? Sing me
+something before going back to the feast. I am at least certain he will
+not sing of battles, for his father is far too careful a man.
+
+     f(1) Boulomachus is derived from (two Greek words meaning)
+     to wish for battle; Clausimachus from (two others), the
+     tears that battles cost. The same root (for) 'battle' is
+     also contained in the name Lamachus.
+
+SON OF CLEONYMUS "An inhabitant of Sais is parading with the spotless
+shield which I regret to say I have thrown into a thicket."(1)
+
+     f(1) A distich borrowed from Archilochus, a celebrated poet
+     of the seventh century B.C., born at Paros, and the author
+     of odes, satires, epigrams and elegies.  He sang his own
+     shame.  'Twas in an expedition against Sais, not the town in
+     Egypt as the similarity in name might lead one to believe,
+     but in Thrace, that he had cast away his buckler.  "A might
+     calamity truly!" he says without shame.  "I shall buy
+     another."
+
+TRYGAEUS Tell me, you little good-for-nothing, are you singing that for
+your father?
+
+SON OF CLEONYMUS "But I saved my life."
+
+TRYGAEUS And dishonoured your family. But let us go in; I am very
+certain, that being the son of such a father, you will never forget this
+song of the buckler. You, who remain to the feast, 'tis your duty to
+devour dish after dish and not to ply empty jaws. Come, put heart into
+the work and eat with your mouths full. For, believe me, poor friends,
+white teeth are useless furniture, if they chew nothing.
+
+CHORUS Never fear; thanks all the same for your good advice.
+
+TRYGAEUS You, who yesterday were dying of hunger, come, stuff yourselves
+with this fine hare-stew; 'tis not every day that we find cakes lying
+neglected. Eat, eat, or I predict you will soon regret it.
+
+CHORUS Silence! Keep silence! Here is the bride about to appear! Take
+nuptial torches and let all rejoice and join in our songs. Then, when we
+have danced, clinked our cups and thrown Hyperbolus through the doorway
+we will carry back all our farming tools to the fields and shall pray
+the gods to give wealth to the Greeks and to cause us all to gather in
+an abundant barley harvest, enjoy a noble vintage, to grant that we may
+choke with good figs, that our wives may prove fruitful, that in fact we
+may recover all our lost blessings, and that the sparkling fire may be
+restored to the hearth.
+
+TRYGAEUS Come, wife, to the fields and seek, my beauty, to brighten and
+enliven my nights. Oh! Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus!
+
+CHORUS Oh! Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus! oh! thrice happy man, who so well
+deserve your good fortune!
+
+TRYGAEUS Oh! Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus!
+
+CHORUS Oh! Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus!
+
+FIRST SEMI-CHORUS What shall we do to her?
+
+SECOND SEMI-CHORUS What shall we do to her?
+
+FIRST SEMI-CHORUS We will gather her kisses.
+
+SECOND SEMI-CHORUS We will gather her kisses.
+
+CHORUS Come, comrades, we who are in the first row, let us pick up
+the bridegroom and carry him in triumph. Oh! Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus! Oh!
+Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus!
+
+TRYGAEUS Oh! Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus!
+
+CHORUS You shall have a fine house, no cares and the finest of figs. Oh!
+Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus!
+
+TRYGAEUS Oh! Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus!
+
+CHORUS The bridegroom's fig is great and thick; the bride's very soft
+and tender.
+
+TRYGAEUS While eating and drinking deep draughts of wine, continue to
+repeat: Oh! Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus!
+
+CHORUS Oh! Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus!
+
+TRYGAEUS Farewell, farewell, my friends. All who come with me shall have
+cakes galore.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Peace, by Aristophanes
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