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diff --git a/25702.txt b/25702.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..37f96fb --- /dev/null +++ b/25702.txt @@ -0,0 +1,10555 @@ +Project Gutenberg's The Kingdom Round the Corner, by Coningsby Dawson + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Kingdom Round the Corner + A Novel + +Author: Coningsby Dawson + +Release Date: June 5, 2008 [EBook #25702] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE KINGDOM ROUND THE CORNER *** + + + + +Produced by Tamise Totterdell, Joe Free, Graeme Mackreth +and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + +The Kingdom Round the Corner--_A Novel_ + +BOOKS BY MR. DAWSON + +_NOVELS_ + +THE KINGDOM ROUND THE CORNER + +THE GARDEN WITHOUT WALLS + +SLAVES OF FREEDOM + +THE RAFT + +LAST CHANCE RIVER + +THE ROAD TO AVALON + + +_SHORTER STORIES_ + +THE LITTLE HOUSE--_Illustrations by Stella Langdale_ + +THE SEVENTH CHRISTMAS--_Illustrations by Edmund Dulac_ + +THE UNKNOWN COUNTRY--_Illustrations by W.C. Rice_ + + +_WAR BOOKS_ + +CARRY ON: LETTERS IN WAR-TIME + +THE GLORY OF THE TRENCHES + +OUT TO WIN: THE STORY OF AMERICA IN FRANCE + +LIVING BAYONETS: A RECORD OF THE LAST PUSH + +THE TEST OF SCARLET: A ROMANCE OF REALITY + + +_POEMS_ + +FLORENCE ON A CERTAIN NIGHT + +THE WORKER AND OTHER POEMS + +[Illustration:]"_I'm sorry," Tabs apologized. "I didn't mean anything +unkind._" + + + + +_The_ Kingdom Round the Corner--_A Novel_ + +_By_ CONINGSBY DAWSON + +_Illustrated by W.D. Stevens_ + + "_To every man the woman whom he loves is as Mother Earth was to her + legendary son: he has but to kneel and kiss her breast to know that + he is strong again._"--Michelet + + +NEW YORK + +Cosmopolitan Book Corporation + +_M C M X X I_ + +_Copyright, 1921, by Cosmopolitan Book Corporation, New York.--All +rights reserved, including that of translation into foreign languages, +including that of the Scandinavian_ + +_Printed in the United States of America_ + + + + +CONTENTS + +CHAPTER I + PAGE +AN ALTERED WORLD 7 + +CHAPTER II + +RETRIEVERS OF YOUTH 54 + +CHAPTER III + +ALL SORTS OF KINGDOMS 94 + +CHAPTER IV + +THE COMPLICATIONS OF MAISIE 134 + +CHAPTER V + +THE AIR OF CONQUEST 172 + +CHAPTER VI + +TRAMPLED ROSES 217 + +CHAPTER VII + +SOME PEOPLE FIND THEIR KINGDOMS 262 + +CHAPTER VIII + +ROUND THE CORNER 311 + + +The Illustrations by + +W.D. Stevens + +"I'M SORRY," TABS APOLOGIZED. "I DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING +UNKIND." (Page 33) _Frontispiece_ + + FACING PAGE + +TABS EXTENDED HIS HAND. BRAITHWAITE MADE NO MOTION +TO TAKE IT. 130 + +"MRS. LOCKWOOD, WHY CAN'T YOU LET ADAIR ALONE?" 172 + +"I WAS AFRAID YOU HAD LEFT" 324 + + + + +_The_ Kingdom Round the Corner + + + + +CHAPTER THE FIRST + +AN ALTERED WORLD + + +I + +It was on a blustering March morning in 1919 that Tabs regained his +freedom. His last five months had been spent among doctors, having +sundry bullets extracted from his legs. He walked with a limp which was +not too perceptible unless he grew tired. His emotions were similar to +those of a man newly released from gaol: he felt dazed, vaguely happy +and a little lost. He felt dazed because he hadn't remembered that the +world was so wide and so complicated. He felt lost because he was +discovering that this wasn't the same old world that he had left in +1914. It hadn't paid him the compliment of marking time during his +absence; it had marched impolitely forward. He would have to hurry to +overtake it. What made him feel most lost at the moment was the fact +that he had only just realized how his bravest years had been escaping. +The reason for this realization was Terry. He had been accustomed to +think of himself as in the first flush of manhood, with all life's +conquests still lying ahead; it was therefore a little disconcerting to +be told, as a matter of course, that he had only four more years to go +till he was forty. "I'll be there at the station to meet you," Terry had +written him. And then, she had added laughingly, "Father orders me to +say that he only gives his permission because you're such an old friend +and nearly middle-aged." + +Middle-aged! He, Tabs, middle-aged! The thought was appalling. It was a +slander so almost true as to be incapable of disproving. He had to-day, +to-morrow, and the next day; after that people would have the right to +say of him that he was middle-aged. That was the real sacrifice that he +had made in the war--he had given to it the last of his youth. And he +had not been aware of this until he had received that letter. + +Now that he was aware of it, he rebelled against the sacrifice. He +refused to be robbed. He would not allow himself to become middle-aged. +Why, he hadn't begun to live yet. He'd only been experimenting up to the +point when the war had started. He'd been thirty-one then, a man full of +promise, and now he was dubbed middle-aged. He remembered with +indignation the theory that men of forty ought to be chloroformed to +make room for the younger generation. "But, hang it, one's years have +nothing to do with it," he protested; "in my spirit I belong to the +younger generation." So, to the rumbling accompaniment of the train, he +argued his claims passionately. Had he formed them into a petition he +would have prayed, "God, make me young again." It would have been +because of Terry that he would have prayed. + +And yet he was happy--vaguely happy, as any man must be to whom the +right to live has been restored. For the past half decade his horizon, +and that of all the men with whom he had intimately associated, had been +dwarfed by the thought of dying. Throughout that period he had dared to +hope for nothing personal; he had belonged body and soul to unseen +forces which had hurried him without explanation from one hell to +another. He had had to subdue his pride to their authority and to train +his courage to contemplate the shock of annihilation. Now, at the end of +almost five years, the will and the body which had been so ruthlessly +snatched from him, had been as ruthlessly flung back into his own +keeping. All of a sudden, after having been enslaved in every detail, +his will and body were set free and no one cared what became of them. +They could be his playthings; he was allowed to do with them what he +liked. But what did he like? It was a problem. He could so easily spoil +them. When he reminded himself of how easily he could spoil them the +fear of death, which would never again trouble him, was replaced by the +fear of failure. He was furious to find that he was still capable of +fearing. He had so confidently believed that, whatever the past five +years had stolen from him, they had at least brought him the reward of +never again knowing fear of any sort. + +That morning by the earliest train he had shaken off the dust of camps +and started in civilian dress as his own master on the new journey. It +was characteristic of him to start early and to slip out of his latest +phase with so little fuss. For the first two years of his service, while +men of his class were gaining high promotions, he had served in the +ranks. He had done it as a uselessly proud protest. In the ranks one did +the real work, faced most of the danger and won the fewest decorations. +He had loved the ranks for their quiet self-effacement and had preferred +to be reckoned in their number. + +It had been dawn when he had started. From the top of the hill above the +camp he had gazed back at the huddled, sleeping rows of hutments. How +lacking in individuality they were! How wilfully ugly! You could see +their like in the rear of all armies. The military mind seemed incapable +of appreciating differences and beauty. How stereotyped the past five +years had been; yes, and, while the danger had threatened, how ennobled +with duty! So ennobled that there had been times when it had almost +seemed that he was on the point of finding his kingdom. + +What he hadn't expected was that he would be alive to-day. With that +thought gratitude had bubbled up and he had limped away, whistling, +through dim lanes and budding hedgerows to the little wayside country +station. + +But once on board the train to London, he began to feel more like a +fugitive escaping than a hero returning. This wasn't the end of +soldiering that imagination had painted. There had been strident bands +and hysteric shouting to start him on his way to the conflict. There +had been pictorial challenges to his courage pasted on every hoarding. +There had been extravagant promises of the welcome which would await him +if he survived. Who remembered them to-day? He hummed over the words of +the latest promise, "If you come back, and you will come back, the whole +world's waiting for you." Was it? He doubted. There was something +unpleasantly furtive about the way in which men were being stripped of +their outward signs of valor and dribbled back into civilian life. It +almost seemed that statesmen had discovered something to be ashamed of +in the unforeseen heroism by which the world had been rescued. + +What did it matter? The world had been saved, and he had helped to save +it. No one could deprive him of that knowledge. His joy leapt up. What +did it matter if other people considered him nearly middle-aged? He and +Terry must prove to them the contrary. He was free; that was what +counted. Free to reckon his life by more than stretches of twenty-four +hours. Free to rise or go to bed when he liked. Free to travel to the +ends of the earth. Free to speak his mind without the dread of a +court-martial. Never again would he be compelled to issue orders which +he knew to be unwise; never again would he be compelled to obey them. He +was free. And there was Terry---- + + +II + +Across the carriage-windows landscapes went leaping: the bleak clearness +of brisk March skies; the shining grayness of meadows from which mists +were slowly rising; the faint flush of greenness which was gathering in +hedges; the shy pageant of spring unfolding, with the promised certainty +of new summers which are never ending. The world looked young. As the +train dashed by, new-born lambs, unused to such disturbances, tottered, +bleating, after their mothers. Buds were bursting. Sap was rising. The +chapped scars of winter were vanishing. Things which had seemed dead +were being convulsed with life. He watched it all gladly and yet +impatiently; it was for the end of the journey that he was waiting. + +On nearing London the train slowed down as though reluctant to leave the +country. Twice it halted and he consulted his wrist-watch with a frown. +Then it crept through Battersea, wound snake-like across the gleaming +Thames, and came to rest in Victoria Station. Despite his lameness, he +was the first passenger to alight. He had no luggage to attend to, save +the newly-purchased bag which he carried. He lost no time in hurrying +down the platform; when he hurried his limp became more pronounced. As +he passed through the barrier he slackened his pace. By reason of his +greater height he could glance above the heads of the crowd; his eyes +went questing in all directions. They failed to find what they sought. +He delayed until nearly all the people from the incoming trains had +scuttled into the holes of the Underground; then, masking his +disappointment, he wandered out into the station-yard to hail a taxi. An +Army Staff car was drawn up against the curb. A thrill of hostility +shot through him. How often, in the old days, when marching up to an +attack, had he and his comrades huddled to the side of the road like +sheep that these khaki-colored collies of the shepherds, who had driven +them up to die, might splash arrogantly past them! He eyed it casually +and was passing on, when a girl in the back seat stood up frantically +waving. She was dressed in the latest whim of fashion; but it was her +that he saw rather than her appointments. Her gold bobbed hair was like +a Botticelli angel's. Her eyes were clear and deep as violets. She was +exquisitely vibrant and alive--scarcely beautiful; her nose turned up +and was too short for that. One sought for the right words to express +her attraction. Perhaps it was due to her light-hearted health and +girlish freshness. + +As he came up eagerly, limping with the effort, she reached out her +hand. "Tabs, fancy you not knowing me! I don't need to call you Lord +Taborley, do I? Between us it's still Tabs." + +"Terry dear! My dear Terry, at last!" He spoke queerly as though he had +been running. Then, seeing how his intensity startled her, he let go her +hand and laughed. "You can't blame me for not having spotted you. +Where's all your beautiful hair that was so blowy?" + +She glanced up through her lashes at the tall man. "'I'm growing such a +big girl now'--you remember the refrain from the song at the Gaiety? +That's why. When you were a young man, girls put their hair up to show +they were of age; nowadays they bob it." + +"So that's the explanation!" He climbed in and took his seat beside her. +"That's another thing that disguised you. How was I to guess that you'd +wangle a Staff car to meet an ex-lieutenant?" + +"It belongs to a friend at the War Office." She nodded her permission to +the trim girl-soldier at the wheel to start. "He lent it to me when he +heard that I was to meet you this morning. Taxis are so scarce, and I +didn't know how well you could walk, so----" She turned from the subject +abruptly. "You're so changed. I scarcely recognized you at first. I was +expecting that you'd still be in uniform." + +"I was demobbed yesterday. So you find me changed! For better or for +worse? Confess, Terry." + +She was aware that beneath his assumption of gayety he was hiding +something--something that pained. He had been hurt too much already. +With impulsive sympathy she laid her hand on his arm. "It isn't a case +of better or worse. Between people like ourselves appearances don't +matter. I think to me you were handsomest of all as a Tommy. How proud I +was of you, Tabs, when you first joined up! Do you remember how I used +to strut along beside you---- And that last night, when you went for the +first time to the Front?" + +He remembered, and waited with boyish expectancy. She had stopped +suddenly and glanced away from him. For the second time his intensity +had frightened her. He said nothing--did nothing to help her. She +mustered her courage to turn back with a smile. "It's long ago, isn't +it. Tabs? I've grown such a big girl now." + +He brushed aside her attempt to divert him. "But you find a difference +in me?" + +"A difference! You mean the difference between a man in uniform and in +mufti? Why, yes. A uniform made you look younger. It did that for most +men." + +"But more for me than for most." He was pitiless towards himself now +that he had forced her to answer. "I've aged more than the five years +since you slipped your arm into mine as we marched through the darkness +to the troop-train. You never shed a tear, Terry. You kept your promise. +Often and often when I was afraid in the trenches I remembered you, a +white and gold slip of a girl with dry eyes, waving and waving. And +then, somehow, because you'd kept your promise not to cry----" + +"Don't," she whispered. "Please don't. It's all ended. Everything's new +and beginning afresh." + +"Beginning with you," he questioned, "where it left off?" + +If she heard him, she ignored the interrogation in his voice. + + +III + +The girl-soldier at the wheel relieved the situation. Since leaving the +station she had been running slower and slower, glancing back across her +shoulder and trying to catch their attention. Just short of the great +cross-roads at Hyde Park Corner she brought the car to a halt. + +"What's the matter, Prentys?" Terry asked. "Anything wrong?" + +"Nothing's wrong, miss; but you've not told me where to go." + +The girl spoke so reproachfully that Terry laughed. "Awfully sorry, +Prentys. It's Lord Taborley's fault. He didn't tell either of us. What +are your plans, Tabs? Where do you want to go?" + +"To go?" + +He caught at her question and examined it. To go--where did he want to +go? He had been so certain when he had boarded the train to London early +that morning. Ever since he had said good-by to her, nearly five years +ago, he had known quite definitely. Each time that he had had a glimpse +of her on those brief leaves from the Front, he had been more and more +sure of the desired direction. Her letters coming up to him under +shell-fire had made him even more certain--those letters compassionate +with unashamed sincerity, written with a girl's admiration for a man who +was jeopardizing his all that she might live in safety. + +And now, when he was free at last to go where he chose and she herself +asked him, he could find no answer to her question. Why couldn't he? He +looked at her thoughtfully with the frown of his problem in his eyes. +What change had come over her? Or was it he who was altered? She had +seemed so absolutely his while the terror of battle had kept them apart. +She had written and acted as though she was his right up to---- Yes, +right up to the point when he had been in a position to claim her. + +Between him and Terry there had been no engagement--only a wealth of +interchanged affection; interchanged for the most part on paper. Once +and only once had marriage been mentioned--on the night that he had set +out for the first time for the Front. "You won't ask me, Tabs; I know +that. You're too honorable. So I've got to say it. When you come back +I'm going to marry you." + +"_If_ I come back, little Terry," he had corrected. + +"But you will--you must," she had pleaded, "for my sake." + +"I'll try. I'll try so hard," he had promised. "But I won't marry you +till I'm out of khaki or the war is ended." + +"And I'll meet you at the train the moment you're free and we'll be +married that very day." + +All this five years ago on a murky station in the tragedy of parting, +while Belgium was being trampled and the troop-train waited. She had +eluded the vigilance of her parents and had met him outside the +barracks, without forewarning. Through the gloom of streets and the blur +of the accompanying crowd, he had seen her face loom up. Her arm had +slipped through his; she had marched beside him like any Tommy's +sweetheart. She had been seventeen at the time; to-day she was +two-and-twenty. In the years that had followed he had taken no step to +make that girlish promise binding, yet increasingly its fulfillment had +been the goal towards which he had struggled. + +After she had joined Lady Dawn's Nursing Unit and had gone to France he +had missed her on his leaves; by some fatality they had been always +missing. She had existed for him only in their correspondence and in his +vivid imagination. And now, after so much hoping, she had become again a +reality. He had been prepared for strangeness, but not for---- Was it +her youth, which was to have flung wide all doors, that formed the +barricade? Her youth which, if shared, would have put back the hands on +the face of Time! Her relentless, flaunting youth! Youth which is +forever hostile to age! + +Her growing and puzzled expression of impatience forced him to narrow +his answer to the requirements of the moment. "What are my plans, you +asked? I haven't any. I'm a man at a loose end and at a beginning--like +all the world, as you yourself just stated." + +"Yes, but----" + +"I know what you're going to say--that every one has to live somewhere. +I have a place all right--my old place." + +"Shall I tell Prentys to drive you there?" + +He shook his head and thrust out his long legs, throwing his weight more +heavily against the cushions. "Not unless you didn't read my letter." + +Her habitual sunniness clouded. "Tabs, you're trying to be beastly. If I +hadn't read it, I shouldn't have known to have met you, or when, or +where." + +"Then you remember that it reminded you of----" + +She cut him short, glancing furtively at the girl at the wheel to see +whether she had been listening. "I don't forget easily. Where do you +want to go? Would a run into the country suit you?" + +"Excellently." + +"In what direction?" + +"Makes no difference." + +She whispered something to the girl; the car semi-circled and gathered +speed, shooting through the traffic which was lumbering towards the +Fulham Road and Surrey. + +Now that he had gained his point, he didn't seem inclined for +conversation. He lolled back with his eyes half-shut; she sat bolt +upright, ignoring his presence. + +He recalled to-day as he had pictured it. Terry was to have been still +the girl-woman who had wanted him so badly that she had been brave +enough to ask for him. She was to have been precisely and in every +detail the girl from whom he had parted. She was to have been on the +platform waiting for him, and he.... + +Pshaw! What a sentimentalist and how easily disappointed! The old fight +was still on in another form. It was never ended. Life was a fight from +start to finish, calling for new and yet newer courage. He refused to be +defeated. He would not be embittered. He would win his kingdom round the +corner, even though it proved to be a different kingdom from the one he +had expected. Terry couldn't have stayed seventeen always, which was the +miracle he had demanded. She was a woman. He would have to teach her to +love him afresh. There was no time to be lost. For all he knew there +might be a rival--perhaps the mysterious some one at the War Office who +had lent her this car. He leant forward good-humoredly, touching her +hand to attract her attention, "Terry." + + +IV + +She turned slowly, almost reluctantly. What new and disturbing question +was he going to ask? She hadn't been prepared for this altered man with +his limp and his gauntness and his strained intensity. She couldn't +bring herself to believe that this grave, spent, unlaughing person at +her side was Tabs, the gallant, care-free comrade she had asked to marry +her. She was shocked both at him and at herself. And she had wanted to +be so glad--to make him feel that every one was so happy at having him +back---- + +"Terry." + +At the sound of her name, spoken like that, a little thrill of his +old-time power stirred her; it traveled up to her eyes, so that she had +to press back the tears before she turned. + +"Terry, it was sentimental blackmail. I'm sorry." + +"What was? I don't understand." + +"That last letter. I oughtn't to have reminded you. What one promises at +seventeen doesn't hold good. It was sporting of you to keep the promise +by meeting me this morning, but---- What I'm trying to say is this; I'm +forgetting everything that you would like me to forget." + +"But I'm not sure that I want you to forget anything." She widened her +lips into a smile from which the trouble was only half dispelled. "It +sounds horrid and unfriendly, this talk of forgetting, as though---- It +sounds so much worse when it's put into words, as though we had +something of which to be ashamed." + +"No, it's not like that. May I be terrifically honest--just as we used?" + +She eyed him doubtfully. It was evident that she was still timid of the +truth. Then she nodded. + +"Well, you know how it was between us before I went away. You were of an +age when most people still thought of you as a child. You _were_ +outwardly, but inside you were almost a woman. The little girl did +things and promised things that the woman wouldn't approve to-day. And +then take my side of it. I went out to a place where life seemed at an +end and where, because of that, one became selfish in the demands he +made on the people whom he had left behind--especially on the women. It +was impossible to be normal; probably I'm not quite normal now. But the +point is this: every man in khaki thought intensely of some one girl. It +didn't matter whether he had the right to think of her; he just thought +of her, and wrote to her, and carried her photo with him up to an +attack, as if he had the right. He wasn't even much disturbed as to +whether, in allowing him to love her, she loved him in return or was +merely being patriotic; he didn't expect to live to put things to a +test. All he wanted was the belief that one woman loved him. You +understand, she was very often only a makeshift--a symbol for the woman +he would have married if death hadn't been in such a hurry. Well, for +some of us Death has had time to spare and we've come back--come back +starved, emotional, tyrannic--passionate to possess all the things for +which our hearts have hungered and of which they have been deprived so +long. It was easy to strip ourselves of everything when we thought we +were going to die. But now that we know we're going to live we're +tempted to recover some of our lost years by violence. You must be +patient with us, Terry; we're sick children, querulous, eager to take +offense and over-exacting. I was like that when I blackmailed you into +meeting me this morning. It was unworthy of me to have treated that +child's promise as binding." + +"But I was seventeen; I wasn't a child. And I wanted to meet you--I did +truly." + +"Letting me down lightly?" he smiled. + +"No, an honest fact." + +When he gazed at her with kindly incredulity, she edged herself closer +and bent forward in a generous effort to persuade him. + +"Don't you see that what you've said of yourself was true of me as +well?" + +"I wasn't talking in particular of myself," he parried; "I was including +all the other men." + +"Yes, but especially of yourself. It was of yourself that you were +talking. What you've said of yourself is true of me and--oh, of almost +all women. We saw you men march away; you seemed lost to us forever. +Everything seemed at an end. So we did what you did--chose one man who +would embody all our dreams and become especially ours. We wrote to +him, shopped for him, placed his portrait on our dressing-tables, were +anxious for him and, oh, so proud of him. We didn't stop to ask whether +he was the man with whom we could live for always. There wasn't any +_always_. It didn't look as though there was ever again going to be any +_always_. And then the horror stopped and we found ourselves with a man +on our hands--a man who, though we had known him so well, would come +back to us different. We hadn't meant to cheat him when we made all +those promises; but now that he's really ours, we're not sure that +we---- All the ecstasies and tears that we wrote to him on paper----" +She made a helpless gesture with her hands. "They don't seem real. It's +not our fault. They belonged to the part of nurses and soldiers that we +were acting. And now we've slipped out by the stage-door and we've +become ourselves. Don't you see, Tabs, we men and girls have got to find +out afresh who we are? We've almost forgotten." + +She seemed to have made an end, when something else occurred to her. She +recommenced hurriedly, "We women have been spendthrifts, too; we've +given away more than was wise--little bits of ourselves, not always to +the one man--sometimes in the wrong directions. But which is the right +direction? When people who were risking so much for us begged for a +little of our affection, we never thought of that. We simply gave +recklessly--little bits of ourselves. Now that we've regained a future, +with room for remorse and things like that, we've become suddenly +cautious. The swing of the pendulum----" She turned to him, as though +proffering a smile for his forgiveness, "It's our sudden caution that +makes us seem mean and ungracious. But I _was_ tremendously interested +about meeting you." + +"Interested! Not glad or ecstatic. It's a long road from dreams to +facts." + +"Yes." + +She said it humbly. He tried to catch the expression in her eyes, but +all he saw was the flickering gold of her hair as the wind tossed it +against the rounded whiteness of her neck. His brain kept muttering, +"Little bits of herself! What did she mean by that?" + +A barrel-organ was grinding out a tune; children danced in the sunshine +on the pavement. As they flashed down the street the music followed +them. She twisted to look back and he caught her eyes. "Tabs, do you +know what it's playing?" + +"Can't say I do." + +"It's out of the Elsie Janis revue at The Palace. I think it was written +especially for this moment." She listened till the air reached the +refrain and then sang the words, "_Apres la guerre, there'll be a good +time everywhere_." + +His stern face relaxed at her childishness. "Will there, Terry? I hope +so. Musical chaps aren't reliable authorities. They're----" + +"You must _know_ so," she interrupted valiantly. Then, forgetting her +caution, she slipped her small gloved fingers into the palm of his big +brown hand. "You _must_. Even though I disappoint you ever so badly, +you must know so, dear Tabs. You must seize your own good time at +whatever cost. One girl isn't all the world." + + +V + +"I wonder whether what we've been saying explains Adair." + +They were crossing one of the bridges over the Thames. He wasn't sure +which one. Moreover, he didn't care; it was enough for him that, +wherever they were going, they were going together--racing into a +sun-crazed world where spring romped and shouted like a hoyden. Above +lazy chimney-pots trees patched the sky-line with sudden greenness. At a +greater distance soft contours of hills lay shadowed beneath stampeding +clouds. Coldly silver beneath the bridge the river flashed, dimpled here +and there by rapid feet where breezes, like adventurous children, rushed +across it. He noted the bowed windows of little houses along the banks, +their whitened steps and shining brasses. He caught the far-blown +fragrance of hyacinths; it set him dreaming of drifting bloom and +flower-strewn ways of woodlands. A happy world, whatever the mental +state of its inhabitants! A world which was doing its bravest best to +play the game by mankind! A world which was whispering at every portal +of the senses that the business of living was immensely worth while! A +world which----! He had reached this point, when the mention of Adair +brought him back to the cause of his philosophizing--the inscrutable +tenderness of the girl, half sorceress, half penitent, seated at his +side. She had recovered her calmness by withdrawing her thin fingers +from his enclosing hand. + +Adair Easterday! He didn't want to discuss him; he had more important +things to talk about. Speaking absent-mindedly, "Adair doesn't need any +explaining," he said. + +"Oh, doesn't he?" she laughed softly and looked away, creating the +impression that she was leaving volumes unexpressed. + +Her air of wisdom provoked him. "Well, I've known him since we were boys +at school together and I've never found him much of a conundrum. He's +brilliant, and lazy, and kind. I think of all the men I've known he's +the one who's most truly a gentleman; he's the one who has given most +promise and who has fewest accomplishments to his credit. He may have +puzzled you as his sister-in-law; but to me, a man of his own age, he +presents no mystery. If anything he's too obvious; that and the fact +that he allows himself to be too much absorbed by his wife are two of +the reasons for his lack of success." + +"He doesn't allow himself to be too much absorbed by his wife now." She +had turned deliberately that she might watch the effect of her words. +"He doesn't even pretend to care for Phyllis any longer." + +"Not care for her--his own wife! Nonsense! You can't make me believe +that." Then he reined himself in, for he suddenly realized that he was +unconsciously adopting the tones of an elder. "That was a terribly +modern accusation for you to make, Terry, just as if loyalties and +affections were ostrich-plumes and ermine to be worn or discarded with +the fashion." + +"That's just what they do seem to have become since we've all stopped +fighting," she persisted. "And please don't look at me like that, Tabs, +as though you were my commanding-officer. I'm not trying to be a cynical +young person; I'm simply stating facts. Look at all the men for whom the +war was a social leg-up. They were plumbers and bank-clerks and dentists +in 1914; by the end of 1918 they were Majors and Colonels and +Brigadiers. They didn't know where the West End was till they got into +uniforms. Since then they've learnt the way into all the clubs and +fashionable hotels; they've spent money like water; they've been the +companions of men and women whom they couldn't have hoped to have met +unless the war had shaken us all out of our class-snobbishness. But now +that the war's ended, these men whom every one flattered for their +bravery and whose social failings they excused while there was fighting +to be done, have become worse snobs than ourselves. They've been +educated out of the class for which they were fitted. War was their +chance; it's ended, and now they have to go back to their humble jobs, +which are the only ones by which they can gain a livelihood. Worse +still, they've got to go back to their wives, who haven't shared their +grandeurs, but who've played the game by them, taking care of their +children and standing by the wash-tub. Some of them can't face up to the +change. Peace has turned the world up-side-down. We're walking on our +heads. You're just out of hospital, but you'll know what I mean when +you've been a week in London." + +"But nothing of what you've been saying applies to Adair Easterday," he +objected. "He wasn't a profiteer in khaki; he wasn't even in khaki. He +made nothing; he lost nearly everything he had. Moreover, whatever +faults he may have, he's always been a thorough-bred--a stickler for +honor; the kind of chap who, if he had to sink, would go down with all +his colors flying. Where his wife is concerned, he's a lover-for-all-time +kind of fellow." + +She shook her head obstinately. "He isn't now. He's standing on his head +like the rest of us." + +"I'm certain you're mistaken." He paused, half-minded to let the matter +rest. He hated this contending. In the old days he and Terry had never +argued. He glanced at her; she was smiling in a sorry, amused fashion. +It made him feel that in accusing Adair she had cast suspicion on every +man's constancy--his own included. Reluctantly he set himself to prove +to her that she was incorrect. + +"When you were in France with Lady Dawn's Nursing Unit, I spent most of +my leaves with Phyllis and Adair. We went about together. I lived in +their house, got to love their kiddies, knew all that went on there. I +think a part of my motive was that being with your sister seemed to +bring you nearer. I'm not going to pretend that I didn't notice +frictions and irritations. Adair was humiliated at being rejected by the +Army because he wasn't up to physical standards. He tried every trick, +but was always turned down. He didn't like to be seen about town; he +felt that people were accusing him of being a slacker. He looked so well +that he had always to be explaining why he wasn't in the trenches. It +tried his temper. Wherever he went soldiers were being treated as +heroes. Women were pleased to be seen escorted by a uniform--his own +wife as well. And I'm bound to say Phyllis didn't help him. She prided +herself on having held on to her man as though it were something that +she'd done herself. Adair used to flare up in a passion and tell her not +to be a fool; then, because her foolishness was all because she loved +him, her feelings were hurt. But to say that he doesn't love her is an +exaggeration. If there's anything the matter, the trouble is not with +his heart but with his nerves." + +"Then you really haven't heard? I thought everybody----" She stifled a +yawn. "It's the wind against my face. It always makes me sleepy," she +apologized. "Since you haven't heard, I suppose I oughtn't to tell you. +He's become the sort of skeleton in our family cupboard---- You're still +incredulous! That will please mother. She'll be almost happy when she +learns that there's at least one person who hasn't been told about it. +She thinks that all the world talks of nothing else. As for Daddy, +Phyllis was always his favorite and he adores her children. He goes +about trying to find some one who'll volunteer to horsewhip Adair. I +can't say that I feel that way myself." Her hand stole out and touched +his arm caressingly; it seemed as though she were appealing for herself. +"We've all either done or are on the verge of doing something foolish +that we're sure to regret. It's not a time to be hard on anybody. +To-morrow we may stand in need of sympathy ourselves. Horror has +shell-shocked every one, civilians as well as fighting-men. The +blackness of insecurity----! We're all convalescing." She halted +abruptly, biting her lip and peering at him, suddenly aware that she had +been confessing herself. When he only looked puzzled, she finished +lightly, "So, you see, Tabs, though you'll think me terribly immoral, I +keep a soft place in my heart for our skeleton." + +"But you don't tell me anything positive," he complained. "What has +Adair done?" + +"Done!" She stared at him. "That's what I have been telling you. He's +fallen in love with some one else." + +He was unwilling to believe what he had heard. + +"Some one else! Impossible!---- I'm sorry, Terry; I didn't mean that I +doubted your word. You mustn't be offended, but---- I'm picturing +Phyllis. At her best she was good and sweet and pretty enough to hold +any man. She was such a loyal little pal--only second best to you, +Terry. And Adair--he was such a white man, so patient with her and so +devoted to the kiddies. I can't see him in the role of a runaway. And +what on earth would he gain by it that he hasn't got already? I don't +want to think that what you've told me---- It makes all fidelity seem so +contemptibly temporary." + +Terry spoke gently. "Not that. It's infidelity that is temporary. A lot +of us are unfaithful for the moment--it's a symptom of our illness. You +said something a little while ago about trying to regain one's lost +years by violence--that's what he's doing. He's mislaid the knack of +happiness with Phyllis; he's trying to recover it with some one else." + +Tabs was still rebelling against the facts. "But he was such a staid old +fellow." + +Terry ignored his discursiveness. "I don't think I've done wrong in +letting you into our family secrets. You'll be made a part of them as +soon as you meet Daddy. When he heard that you were coming to town and +that I was going to see you, he said, 'Thank God for that. Taborley will +be able to do something.' He has a pathetic belief in you, Tabs. One of +the reasons why I was at the station this morning was that I might have +the chance to tell you first, before any one else had prejudiced you +with bitterness. Daddy wants you to dine with him to-night. He expects +you to be the kind of moral policeman who makes the arrest. But it can't +be done with morality. I don't think even you could manage to persuade +Adair at the present--not with moral arguments, anyhow." + +"Why not?" + +"Because I've seen _her_." + + +VI + +It was at this moment that a sound like a pistol-shot occurred. The car +commenced to bump. The girl-driver applied the brakes, guided the car +to the side of the road and jumped out. + +"Quite like the Front," Terry cried cheerfully; "I expect you feel at +home when you hear a noise like that." + +Tabs looked round. He had been too busy talking to notice where they +were. To the right, through wind-rumpled, tree-dotted meadows ran the +Thames, still intensely silver in the sunshine, but somehow blither and +more young than in London. Clouds flew high; everything was riotously +spacious. Scattered through the vivid stretch of landscape ivy-covered +houses stood squarely in their park-lands. Set down in the level +distance, like children's toys, cattle browsed. The quiet greenness had +become starred as far as eye could carry with a gentle rain of myriad +tinted petals. + +"The car's got a sense of beauty," he laughed; "it chooses carefully +when it wants to break down." + +"And it's all at the Government's expense," Terry smiled, glancing back +at him across her shoulder as she scrambled out. "So it's a back tire. +How long will it take to put right, Prentys?---- Then we may as well +walk and let you overtake us. I don't think we're more than a mile from +Old Windsor. We'll get something to eat at the little inn by the +riverside. You remember the one I mean? We've been there several times +when the General was with us." + +"What General is that?" Tabs asked as they trudged along between the +hedges. + +"The General who lent me the car," she replied. + +"Oh, your friend at the War Office! I suppose he's one of the dug-outs +who's been there all the time." + +"He isn't. He rose from the ranks. He's only been at a desk job since +the Armistice." She spoke defensively, with a certain resentment. Tabs +was quick to detect the sharpness in her voice. "I'm sorry," he +apologized; "I didn't mean anything unkind." + +She halted with a sudden gesture of concern. "I _am_ inconsiderate. I +never thought of it. Won't this walking wear you out?" + +"She's changing the subject," he told himself. "I wonder why?" Aloud he +said, "Not a bit. But I can't stride along the way we used in the old +days." + +Branching off to the right, they came down to a little inn by the +water-side. It was shabby with the look of disrepair which all inns had +at that time. Its paint was chapped and faded; its windows cracked and +held together by pasted strips of paper. The putty had perished in +places, so that some of the panes were on the point of falling out. +Nevertheless, it had a brave look of carrying on triumphantly, for +tulips and crocuses were springing neat as ever from the turf and it was +over-hung by a green mist of trees just coming into leafage. They +entered and took their seats at a table from which they could watch the +pale flowing of the river through the spangled peace of the outside +world. + +"It was lucky we broke down." Terry sat watching him with her square +little face cushioned in her hands. "You see I'm training myself to +believe," she explained, "that everything happens for the best." + +"A comforting philosophy for the lazy," he smiled. "It lets us all out +of resisting temptation. Why resist anything, if everything happens for +the best? If it were true, it would give us the license to be as flabby +as we liked--which rather falls in line with what we were saying about +Adair. But who is she--this woman? You say you've seen her." + +"You'll know soon enough for your peace of mind--probably you'll see her +yourself before the day is out." + +"But can't you even tell me her name?" + +"Her name's Maisie Lockwood for the present." + +"For the present! Why for the present?" + +"Because one's never certain about Maisie. She was Maisie Gervis once +and Maisie Pollock before that; there must have been a time when she was +Maisie Something Else." + +Tabs couldn't quite make up his mind whether he ought to laugh or frown. +The suspicion had crossed his mind that this composed imp of a girl, who +could look so immensely the young lady when she liked, was playing a sly +game with him. However he pretended to take her seriously. "In most +social sets names are fairly permanent." + +Terry laughed outright and looked away from him, following the river +with her eyes. "There's nothing permanent about Maisie. I think that's +her attraction; that's what makes people forgive her everything. She +starts each day afresh--it really is a new day for her, with no old +hates or griefs or dreads to drag her down. She has no regrets because +she remembers nothing. Whatever happened yesterday she puts out of mind; +she forgets everything except her willingness to be friends." + +"Her names as well, according to your account." + +"Yes, there's no denying that. Until the war ended, if you'd not seen +her for a month, you were never quite sure how you ought to address her. +Even now one's liable to make a mistake. To-day she's Maisie Lockwood; +to-morrow she may be Maisie Anything--Mrs. Adair Easterday, perhaps." + +Under her willful mystifications his calmness was getting ruffled. While +he listened to her, he kept comparing this day with the other day that +his imagination had painted. The world was to have been so much better +and kinder when the agony of the trenches was ended. It was in order +that it might be better that so many men had not come back. And this was +the kinder world--a world in which men, saved from the jaws of death, +met the girls they had loved as strangers, in whose presence, if they +were to avoid offense, they must pick their words! A world full of men +like Adair, who had been honorable until others had made them safe by +their sacrifice, and of women like Maisie of the many names, who forgot +her yesterdays that she might seize her selfish personal happiness! + +"Terry," he spoke with a show of patience, "do you think it's a matter +about which to jest? There's your sister and her kiddies; their future's +at stake. If I'm to be of any help----" He broke off, for a voice inside +his brain had started talking, "You're old. That's exactly the way in +which her father speaks to her." Was it her thoughts that he had heard? +Her face was lowered; he could see nothing but the top of her golden +head. Youth radiated from her; even in his anger it intoxicated him. + +"So if I'm to help," he picked up his thread, "you mustn't mock. It +isn't decent, Terry; the situation's too serious. Let me have the facts. +How does she come by all these different names? Does she call herself +something different with each new dress?" + +Terry's eyes were wide and sorry. "No, with each new husband, but----" +There came a break in her voice, "Oh, Tabs, I can't bear that you should +be cross with me. You've been disappointed in me from the moment we met. +We're not the same. And I know it's not all my fault. And----" + +Her lips trembled. He was in terror lest she would give way to crying. +If it hadn't been for the table that parted them with its unromantic +debris of dishes---- As it was he leant across and assured her +earnestly, "I'm not cross with you, my dearest girl. I'm---- Terry, how +is it that we've drifted so apart? I keep groping after the old Terry; +for a minute I think I've found her, and then she's no longer there." + +Drying her eyes, she nodded. "It hurts most frightfully. That's what I +keep doing, barking my shins in the dark, trying to follow the old Tabs. +He's always going away from me----" + +"I think it's the laughter that I miss most," she said presently; +"you've grown so stern." + +"I've seen stern things happen--a kind of Judgment Day. It's remembered +things that are so silencing." + +"I know what you mean. I saw some of those things in our hospital in +France." She shut her eyes as if the memory was unbearable. "But don't +be hard on people who have a right to be young and who want to forget. +It isn't that they're ungrateful." Then she surprised him, "People like +Maisie and myself." + +"Don't couple yourself with her." He spoke more sharply than he had +intended. + +"But she was with me out there," she expostulated. "That was how she met +her second husband, Gervis. She nursed him." + +"It makes no difference how she met him; she's not in your class--a +woman who has been divorced three times." + +"But she hasn't. Whatever made you think that?" Terry shot upright on +her chair, for all the world like a startled rabbit. + +"You told me she'd had three husbands." He was once more puzzled and +uncertain of his ground. "You as good as said that she wouldn't be +averse to making a fourth of Adair. I therefore conjectured----" + +"You conjectured all wrong," she cut him short. "They died for their +country." + +"All of them?" He was making a rapid calculation as to how long could +have elapsed between each re-marriage. + +"One at a time, of course," she added. "She was married to the first +the first week of the war." + +"Even so it was quick work. May I light a cigarette? Three husbands in +four years! She must be a very alluring person!" + +Terry laughed nervously. "She is, though you mayn't think it. I can see +you don't; you think she's horrid. But let me tell you it takes a smart +woman to bring three men to the point of matrimony when the world's so +full of unmarried girls. And they were every one of them more or less +famous--the kind of men of whom any woman would be proud. You'll +remember Pollock--Reggie Pollock; he was one of the earliest of our +aces--the man who brought down the Zeppelin over Brussels and got killed +himself a few days later, no one quite knew how. There was a mystery +about his death. He was the man to whom she was first married." + +"A splendid chap! And I recall her now. Her portrait was in the +illustrated papers at the time of her third marriage. It was headed _A +Conscientious War-Worker_ or something like that. And I don't forget the +name the soldiers called her when they read the papers in the trenches." + +"Did they call her something?" She was gazing at him intently. "Was it +something brutal that you wouldn't like to tell me?" + +"It was something true," he said, pinching out his cigarette with quiet +fierceness. + +"Oh, I don't know----" She broke off to ask the waitress whether the car +had arrived and was answered in the affirmative. "I don't know about its +being true. After all, she made three men happy before they went West. +I don't see that she'd have been any more to be admired if she'd allowed +the last two to go wretched." + +Tabs half-rose and then reseated himself. "An awful woman! Insatiable! A +Lucrezia Borgia, without Lucrezia Borgia's excuse." + +"I knew you'd say that." Terry spoke hopelessly in a tone that dragged. +"How do you or I know what excuses she had? How do we know why anybody +does anything--what hidden reasons they have? And yet we're always so +eager to condemn! I wanted to be the first to let you know about Adair +because you always used to understand. You would have understood if +you'd been the _you_ that you were. I thought that if I explained to you +about Maisie---- But what's the use!" + +She rose from her chair and stood leaning against the table, looking +wilted and pathetic. When she spoke again the heat had gone out of her +words and was replaced by an appealing tenderness. "Don't you see what +it is--why it is that I don't condemn? I'm so sorry for them--so sorry +for you, for myself, for everybody. It hurts me here, Tabs." She laid +her hand against her breast. "We all want what we've spent in the lost +years. We want it so impatiently. We can't get it; but we want it at +once--_now_. The things one wants are always in the past or the future, +so one cheats to get them _now_." + +He hadn't the remotest idea what she was trying to tell him. She was +stirred by some deep emotion--some overwhelming loneliness. For a moment +it crossed his mind that she also was tempted--fascinated by some +lurement of dishonor kindred to Adair's. He put the thought from him as +preposterous and disloyal. Yet it recurred. Ever since they had met she +had been talking curiously--talking about having given away bits of +herself to people who were hungry, little bits of herself in wrong +directions. She had coupled her own case with this unspeakable Maisie's. +What was her problem? + +She stood there with her head bowed, like a child self-accused of +wrong-doing, with all the flaunting joy of spring tapping against the +window on which she had turned her back. Then it dawned on him why she +was standing; he was between the door of escape and herself. He stepped +aside. As she moved eagerly forward, he caught her by the points of her +elbows and arrested her going. The wild violet eyes fluttered up to his +fearfully and fell as he towered over her. + +"My very dearest!" He spoke gently in a voice from which all passion had +been purged. "Don't blame me if I simply can't understand. Though I +never become any more to you than I am now, I shall always be your +comrade, believing in you and loving you. Remember that." + +When he released her she fled from him, leaving him alone in the shabby +room. + + +VII + +When he found her, she was talking to the girl-soldier in the yard of +the inn. "But do you think that you can manage it, Prentys? It'll be +all right in the open country, but I'm not sure that I want to risk it +in the London traffic. We're merely joy-riding and, if anything happened +to the car when you weren't on military duty----" + +"I don't see that we've got much choice, miss," the girl answered. "The +General's orders to me were explicit, and you know what he is: obedience +and no explanations. We've barely time to do it." + +Their backs were towards the inn. Tabs strolled up and made a pretense +of inspecting the new tire. + +"Anything I can do?" he asked casually. + +It was Prentys who answered him. "I sprained my left wrist, sir, back +there along the road." She held it out to him painfully as proof. It was +all bound up and puffy. "It isn't very much use, sir; so I've only one +hand and I don't know whether I'll be able----" + +Terry interrupted and took up the running. "I thought that the car was +ours for the day. Prentys has just told me that General Braithwaite +ordered her to pick him up at the War Office this afternoon at +three-thirty. Now that she's sprained her wrist, she'll have to drive so +carefully that there's scarcely time to do it." + +Tabs couldn't help smiling at the pompous importance of little people in +this newly enfranchised world. It was only yesterday that for him also +the foibles of Generals had been sacred. Generals had been gods whose +tantrums and mental rheumatics had thrown whole armies into a fume and +fret. For him that day was ended, but it still existed for this slim +girl-soldier. He was sorry for her. + +"You needn't be upset," he said kindly. "I haven't renewed my license, +but I can drive. No one's likely to interfere with me in an Army car. +Jump in and I'll get you there with a quarter of an hour in hand." + +"But----" + +It was Terry who had spoken. Her brows puckered with thoughtfulness, she +was gazing far away into the green distance. He waited for her to +amplify her objection. When she maintained silence, he prompted her. "If +it's me and my bag that's the trouble, you don't need to worry. After +I've driven you both to the War Office, I can fudge round for a taxi. +One can usually wangle one in the neighborhood of Whitehall." + +Before he had ended, he knew that his guess had missed fire. It wasn't +his comfort that was disturbing her. + +"All right," she said reluctantly. "I suppose there's no other way. Get +into the back, Prentys; I'll ride in front with Lord Taborley." + +He was glad to have something to occupy his attention--to be able to +talk without the necessity of regarding her. They were both embarrassed +by the memory of their recent tempest of emotion. "Braithwaite! So +that's the name of the good fairy who gave us our day in the country. I +don't remember him; but that's not remarkable. Generals at the Front +were as common as policemen in London; you found one at every street +corner. As for trenchdwellers like myself, we never came in touch with +them except when we were in for a wigging. We came in touch with them +all right then." + +She made no remark. He had the feeling that she was annoyed with herself +for having let the General's name escape her. Up to that point she had +referred to him anonymously as "a friend at the War Office." Tabs tried +to switch to another subject without making the change offensively +apparent. "Now that I'm a free man, I've got to reorganize a household." + +She kindled into interest, "Taborley House is still a hospital, isn't +it?" + +"Yes, I handed it over to the Americans. I was glad to do that for my +mother's sake. After all, I'm half American. At least a third of my +boyhood was spent in the States. But they're sending most of their +wounded home now, so I shall soon have it back on my hands. But that +wasn't what I meant. It was too big for me; I never lived there." + +"Then what did you mean?" + +He realized that she was encouraging him to continue talking because the +topic was safe--not because it held much attraction for her. + +"What I meant was that I'll have to try to collect up my old servants. I +don't know where they all are, or who's alive and who's dead. There's +one man I'm particularly anxious to discover." + +He slowed down, tooting his horn vigorously as they rounded an awkward +corner. When they were again on the level she reminded him: "You were +saying that you were anxious to discover----" + +"Oh, that man of mine! There isn't much to tell! He looked after me +while I was up at the 'Varsity; when I left, I carried him off. I was +always wandering, so I made him my body-servant. When we were leading +civilized lives in cities he acted as my valet-butler-secretary. When we +were adventuring in the remoter parts of the world, he was my +companion-friend. I had a real affection for the chap; he was so +genuinely distinguished and quick to learn. He'd have gone far if things +had kept on. As it is, he's probably gone farther." + +"Gone farther?" She sounded half-asleep--politely lackadaisical. + +"Gone West," he explained shortly. "His letters became fewer. We joined +up together in the ranks. You know all about my end of it. I suppose it +was my mother's democratic Americanism that made me do that. We got +drafted into different regiments. After the fighting had been going for +a year, he stopped corresponding. The funny thing was that none of my +letters to him was returned." + +She was so bored that she was scarcely listening. He cut the matter +short by adding, "It was your mention of General Braithwaite that +started me gossiping." + +She pulled herself together with a jerk and instantly became all +attention. "How? How could my mentioning General Braithwaite do that?" + +He noticed again her unreasonable suspicion of hostility each time he +made a reference to this man. Thinking it the wiser policy to overlook +it, he answered evenly, "Because his name also happened to be +Braithwaite." + +Fully fifteen minutes elapsed. "She's quite fed up with my valet," he +told himself. He hadn't been able to contrive any fresh topic which was +sufficiently innocuous, so he'd been keeping silent. They were again +passing over the bridge beneath which, like a gleaming sword, lay the +Thames, barriered on either bank by the little bow-windowed houses, with +their shining brasses and whitened steps. They were already catching up +with the throng of London traffic when she shook herself out of her +self-absorption by saying, "There must be thousands of Braithwaites in +the world." + +He glanced at her out of the corners of his eyes. Her latest +conversational effort tickled his sense of humor--it was so wholly +inadequate. He laughed outright. "That's better; the high spirits will +soon be coming back---- Thousands of Braithwaites! My dear Terry, there +must be hundreds of thousands." Then in a graver voice, "But though +there were thousands of millions, it wouldn't restore to me my one loyal +man." + +"You loved him?" She uttered her guess softly. + +"Yes, and I--it's a queer thing to say about one's valet--I admired him +tremendously." + +It was the best part of five years since Tabs had driven a car. He +hadn't yet regained his old dexterity. He wasn't expert enough to attend +to the wheel and at the same time to carry on a conversation. As he left +the bridge he had to pass a coster's barrow which was drawn up beside +the curb. The coster was dressed in the soiled khaki of a man recently +released from the Army; his barrow was piled high with narcissi and +daffodils, and a drowsy donkey drooped between the shafts. In avoiding a +suicidal pedestrian, Tabs misjudged the room that he had to spare. He +felt a jolt, guessed what had happened, and jammed on his brakes. A +policeman in front of him was holding up a magisterial hand. Behind him +a stream of familiar trench profanity was gathering in volume; under +other circumstances he would have found a certain enjoyment in the +sound. He looked back and saw what he expected: the barrow overturned; +the flowers scattered, the donkey surprised out of its drowsiness, +thrown on its back and kicking in its harness; the coster straddling the +sudden ruin and calling down all the rigors of the law. A crowd was +running together; it hesitated between the coster and Tabs, uncertain as +to which would provide the more exciting entertainment. When the +policeman waving his note-book approached the car, it plunked for Tabs. + +The policeman was a stout, fat-fingered, immovable kind of person. He +said nothing till he had penciled down the car's official number. Tabs +gave his name and address. "Lord Taborley, etc." The policeman lifted +his slow eyes to judge for himself whether the Lord part of his +information looked probable. The lean aristocratic face which he +encountered seemed to correspond with the specifications recorded. He +asked to see his Lordship's license. Tabs embarked on explanations, +pointing to the bandaged wrist of Prentys as a confirmation of his +facts. While he was explaining the coster joined them, having got his +donkey on to its legs. He was violent with anger and burning to expound +the justice of his cause. Suddenly he struck out a convincing line of +argument, "Look at 'im, the bloomin' slacker--the pasty h'aristocrat. 'E +didn't see no fightin'. Not 'im. But now the war's been won by poor +blokes like meself, 'e ain't ashamed ter go banging abart in h'Army +cars." + +"I know how you feel," Tabs said. "But you're mistaken; I served in the +ranks two years myself. I was only demobbed yesterday; to-day's my first +day out of uniform. I'll pay you whatever you think fair; so you don't +need to work yourself up." + +The man's attitude changed completely. He removed his cap and scratched +his head. "Served in the ranks, did yer? Then you and me was pals out +there!" He turned to the policeman, "'E ain't done me as much damidge as +if one of them there Big Berthas 'ad landed." + +The policeman let his fat eyes wander from the coster to Tabs, from Tabs +back to the coster. "I wuz too old ter go," he said inconsequently; "but +me son's out there and won't ever come back." He crossed out the +particulars he had written down so laboriously; when that was done, he +fumbled his note-book back into his pocket. "If your mate 'ere says that +it's h'all right, sir, it's h'all right so far as I'm consarned. Your +fust day h'out of the h'Army! Well, well!" He looked at Terry with a +world of understanding, wheeled about slowly and went ponderously back +to his corner. + +"That was sportsmanly of you." It was Tabs speaking. "I'd like to know +how much----" + +The coster shook his head. "It don't cost you nothink. Me and you used +ter share." + +Tabs protested. The man climbed the running-board and pushed his +grime-stained hand into the car. "Call it quits, mister, and shake for +luck. And now the little lady, if she don't h'object." + +Terry shook his hand daintily. So there wasn't going to be a fight after +all! Everything had been settled amicably! With an air of disappointment +the crowd dispersed. + +"Came pretty well out of that!" Tabs remarked as the car started +forward. + +"You're not to talk." Terry's voice was high-strung and emphatic. "You +can't talk and drive--and you've got to drive like mad." + +"Why? What's the hurry?" + +"The hurry! We've wasted twenty minutes; we've barely time to get +there." + +"Oh, the General! I'd forgotten. Well, it won't do the old boy any harm +to wait. Lord, the hours he and his sort have kept me waiting on +parade-grounds in France!" + +Then he remembered that this General wasn't an old boy. If he wasn't +old, there was all the less reason for making so much effort not to be +late. Nevertheless, to please Terry---- He could feel her body +twitching. Every time he had to slow down for traffic he was aware of +her impatience. Why was it of such vital importance to her that they +should arrive in time? She wasn't too punctual by habit. A thought +struck him; it was like a searchlight pointing out many things that had +been dark. Her anxiety wasn't that they should arrive in time, but +before time. She didn't intend, if she could prevent it, that he should +meet the owner of the car. Had it not been for the double accident of +Prentys spraining her wrist and having failed to mention that the car +must be back by three-thirty, he would never have been allowed to know +that there was a General. Terry had been compelled to let him drive if +the borrowed car was to be returned; but her main object now was to +reach the War Office a few minutes early and to smuggle him off before +an introduction would be necessary. If they arrived punctually or late, +the General might be already on the pavement---- Tabs bit his lip. He +hated petty intrigue. He demanded a man's code of honor from the woman +he adored and made no feeble excuses for feminine dishonesty. This was +the worst disappointment she had given him. + +As they approached Hyde Park, when it was too late to turn off into a +side-street, he saw that the road ahead was blocked. He worked the car +as far forward as possible and then had to halt. Terry was nervously +consulting her watch. "The time?" he asked. + +"Three-twenty-three." + +"Then this puts the lid on it." He beckoned to a policeman, "What's +holding us up?" + +"The Queen's expected, so I'm told, sir, though us didn't 'ave no proper +warning." + +At that moment the crowd out of sight commenced cheering. The cheering +spread and drew nearer. It was taken up by people who were strung across +the road immediately in front. A carriage flashed by in which two ladies +were sitting, one of whom was bowing from right to left. Despite her +irritation at the delay, Terry stood up so that she could get a clearer +view above the clustered heads. The cheering grew deafening, then +lessened, and sank to a hoarse murmur beneath the trees of the Park. As +she reseated herself and the traffic lurched forward, she turned to +Tabs, "You noticed who it was?" + +"The Queen." + +"Yes, but the lady who was with her?" + +"I didn't see." + +"It was Diana--Lady Dawn with whom I nursed. She's supposed to be the +most beautiful woman in England." + +"Don't know her. So I shouldn't have placed her if I had seen her." + +They made a clear run of it from Hyde Park Corner to Whitehall and drew +up quite marvelously before the War Office on the second. + +"Done it," said Tabs as he shut off the engine. "It's zero hour +exactly." + +But Terry wasn't there to listen to him, as he discovered when his +attention was free and the engine had ceased to throb. Almost before +they had halted, she had nipped out of the car and was hailing a taxi +which was on the point of moving off. His bag was already in process of +being whisked from one vehicle to the other. This indecent haste to be +rid of him roused his obstinacy; he sat still where he was and watched. + +She returned a little breathless and self-congratulatory. "There! Wasn't +that clever of me? Taxis are scarce. If I hadn't collared you that one +you might have---- Come on, Tabs, if you're stiff in your lame leg, give +me your hand and I'll----" + +At that moment the dingy swing-doors of the War Office flew open and a +red-tabbed, handsome figure of a man, with gold braid on his cap and +crossed swords on his epaulettes, came briskly out on to the steps. He +caught sight of Terry and, throwing her an airy salute, came with an +eager stride towards her. He wasn't the old fogy Tabs had so +persistently imagined. He was young, barely thirty, lean, tall and +swift-moving as an arrow--very much what Tabs had been before he had +spent himself at the war. + +"Hulloa, Terry! This is ripping. I didn't expect you---- But what's all +this? An accident! What have you been doing to Prentys?" + +The voice was glad and frank, though its habit of command was +unmistakable. Every gesture bespoke authority and arrogance of body. +Even in this moment of geniality, "Obedience and no explanations" was +written all over him. He was a man who believed his acceptable +importance to be a verity established beyond the pale of challenge. Yet +there was something lacking--a sureness of refinement, a last +considerateness. With the first word he had spoken, Tabs had detected +that he wasn't quite the part. + +Terry had hurried forward to meet him. She was saying something in a +voice so subdued that it did not carry. She had so contrived their +grouping--or was it an accident?--that the General's face was hidden. + +Tabs waited, then turned to Prentys, "My taxi-man's getting impatient. +Will you give my thanks to the General for his kindness and make the +explanations?---- And I hope that your wrist will soon be better." + +He had given the driver his address and was stepping into the taxi, when +he heard Terry's voice, "Why, you're running away! You mustn't go +without meeting the General. General Braithwaite, I want to introduce +you to Lord Taborley, of whom I've spoken to you so often." + +Tabs limped back to the pavement and found the General regarding him +intently. "I'm glad to make Lord Taborley's acquaintance," he said +formally. And then to Terry, "You didn't tell me that it was for Lord +Taborley you were borrowing my car." + +Before Terry could reply, Tabs was answering for her, "Then I have to +apologize to you, sir, as well as to thank you. But we've used the same +car often, haven't we? In fact, I'm certain that we've met many times." + +"Never to my knowledge." The General drew himself up stiffly. "You +mistake me. It's the first time I've had the pleasure." + +The two tall men stood glooming at each other. Tabs had it on the tip of +his tongue to say something more, but glanced at Terry and thought +better of it. Instead he addressed her, "Do I drive you home?" + +The General interrupted. "It'll be out of your way. I'm going right past +Miss Beddow's house." + +For the first time since they had been introduced Terry came between +their hostility. "How did you know where Lord Taborley lived and that it +would be out of his way? You said that this was the first time you had +met him." + +Tabs refused to make her the witness of a quarrel. "Since General +Braithwaite knows where I live, perhaps he will call and explain that to +me later. I can't keep my cab waiting longer--are you riding with me, +Terry?" + +She avoided his eyes. "With the General." And then, "You won't forget +that you're dining to-night with father?" + +"To-night. At seven-thirty, I suppose, as usual?" + +"At seven-thirty." + +He raised his hat. As he drove away he felt compelled to look back just +once to assure himself. He caught the General's features in full +sunlight; he had not been mistaken. + +"So that's why my letters to him weren't returned, and that's why he +didn't write! He's gone farther than far with a vengeance." He clenched +his fists and frowned savagely at his crippled leg. "I felt so sure of +her--and to have to compete with my own valet!" + + + + +CHAPTER THE SECOND + +RETRIEVERS OF YOUTH + + +I + +The taxi had scarcely drawn up before a small, prim house in Brompton +Square when the door was opened by a neat maid in immaculate cap and +apron. She was so neat and respectful as to appear almost passionless. +She had the high complexion of a Country girl, good gray eyes, a slim, +attractive figure and dark, wavy hair which escaped rebelliously from +beneath her cap. One wondered how she looked in her off-duty moments, +when she wasn't saying, "Yes, your Lordship" and "No, your Lordship." +Tabs mustered a smile and called to her, "Thank you, Ann. I'll be with +you in a moment." + +As he paid the fare, he let his eyes wander. The outside of the house +had been painted white, evidently in honor of his home-coming. The work +had been only recently completed, for the chalked warning on the +pavement was not yet obliterated, "Wet Paint Beware." He had given no +orders; it was Ann's doing--her accustomed, tactful thoughtfulness. The +steps were speckless as a newly laundered shirt, the brasses polished to +the brilliancy of precious metal. His window-boxes---- He glanced along +the fronts of his neighbors' houses; they hadn't put theirs out yet. His +were ahead of everybody's; they made a cheerful splash of red, with +their soldierly upstanding tulips, above the long serried line of +area-railings. Again Ann's doing! And the snow-white curtains behind +each row of panes were also Ann's. + +The driver clicked his "For Hire" sign into the upright position and +chugged away to join the flow of traffic which thumped orchestrally past +the end of the Square. Tabs climbed the three low steps separately; he +had been used to take them at a bound. He tried to climb them slowly as +though from choice, and not from necessity. He was very conscious that +Ann was watching. As she closed the door behind him he said, "So you +knew I was coming? You received my telegram?" + +"Yes, your Lordship." + +"I was sorry I couldn't tell you the exact hour. I didn't know it +myself. I hope you didn't trouble to prepare lunch." + +"It was no trouble, your Lordship." + +"Then you've managed to get some one in the kitchen? They tell me that +all the cooks have become bus-conductresses or lady-secretaries." + +"I did, your Lordship. My sister--the one who lost her husband at Mons. +I thought you wouldn't object----" + +He cut her short. "Ann, you know I never object; you never need to go +into details. Whatever you've done is right. From what I've seen already +you've done splendidly." + +Under his praise she flushed and became a little less the servant. "I +was afraid you might think I'd taken too much upon myself, what with the +flower-boxes and having the house repainted. I wanted to have things +nice for your Lordship after----" She hesitated for a word, and then +burst out, "After all the dirt and beastliness! Your Lordship ought +never to have gone in the ranks, begging your pardon; you weren't fitted +for it. You ought to have gone as a General. Then you wouldn't have come +home with that poor leg and----" She saw him wince and changed the +subject. "But about doing things without orders, I knew that if +Braithwaite--if Braithwaite----" Her voice sagged and her eyes misted +over. At last Tabs saw how she looked in her off-duty moments, when she +wasn't occupied with being respectful. The sudden memory came back of +intuitions he had had that she and his valet might one day marry. From +time to time he had twitted them on their fondness, taking an idle +pleasure in forwarding the match. And Braithwaite had kissed her before +he marched away. Ridiculous to remember it now! It signified nothing. +People in their station kissed when they felt kindly, and on that +occasion they had had an epoch-making pretext. + +Her eyes were searching his with a hungry wistfulness. "What I was +meaning, your Lordship, was that if he had been spared, he'd have done +things on his own and gone ahead, the same as he always did. So I, +seeing as how he wasn't----" + +Tabs touched her shoulder gently. "It's all right, Ann. I appreciate +your motives. I'm glad you went ahead. But you haven't shaken hands +yet." + +He glanced in at the dining-room before he went upstairs. The table was +spread for dinner. Cut flowers were standing about in vases. The very +silver had a festive shine. + +"Again I have to be sorry," he told her. "I'm dining with Sir Tobias +Beddow." + +"And Miss Terry," she inquired, "is she well?" + +When he went to climb the narrow stairs she refused to permit him to +carry his bag. He guessed the reason--that he might be freer to support +himself by the rail of the banisters. On the first small landing, which +looked out at the back on to the Oratory and the graveyard of the Parish +Church, there were still more flowers. When he reached his bedroom, +three flights up, he found that his evening clothes had been all laid +out and just as carefully as if Braithwaite--the old Braithwaite whom he +had loved--had been there before him. + +As she unpacked his bag, opening and closing drawers, "I shall have to +look round for another valet," he said. + +"Please don't." Her tone was sharp with earnestness. + +Tabs felt sorry for her. She, too, like all the world was wanting the +thing that she could never have. He wondered whether it wouldn't be +kinder to tell her and let her know the worst. "But sha'n't I, Ann?" + +With simple pathos, which was the more touching because it was so +unconscious, she clasped her hands, "He might come back. He was never +reported. My letters were returned unopened. I've not given over +hoping. I shouldn't like him to find that your Lordship---- If he found +another man in his place, he might feel like he hadn't been wanted. Me +and sister can manage----" + +"But----" + +He got no further, for her eyes were meeting his with an appeal that was +desperate. "A strange man--his ways would be different. He'd make one +know that everything--everything was ended." + +She glanced hurriedly round for a last time to make sure that there was +nothing she had omitted--collar, tie, silk socks, dress-shoes, +shaving-water, razor. "I'll be listening for the bell in case there's +anything that I've forgotten, sir." + +With that she closed the door between himself and her emotion. As she +rustled discreetly down the stairs, he thought he heard a sound of +sobbing. + + +II + +It was too early to dress--not five o'clock yet. He made an estimate of +the time he had to spare. If he walked across the Park to Sir Tobias +Beddow's, that would take him from a half to three-quarters of an hour. +At the earliest he wouldn't have to leave the house till six-thirty. So +he had the best part of two hours during which to think out his line of +conduct and to dress. At dinner he would meet Terry--how would she act? +And what was the right thing for him to do as her family's trusted +friend? He felt very tired. It took a tremendous lot out of one +pretending to other people that one wasn't tired. He was ashamed to have +to own to himself how quickly nowadays he could use up his physical +reserves. For the moment there was no one to watch him; he stretched +himself out at full length on the couch. + +He was glad to be back in this friendly house with its narrow stairways +and endearing littleness; it had been his American mother's before him. +Within its walls were the exquisite traces of a temperament and taste +that had been hers. She hadn't always been a great lady; to the end of +her days there had remained with her the love of small things which one +finds in nun-like New England towns. There had been times when the +ostentation and entertaining at Taborley House had become too much for +her; this nest of refuge had been her secret--her place of retreat where +she had regarnered her sincerities. She had loved the Square's +old-fashioned primness, its tininess, its unchanging atmosphere of rest. +It was scarcely invaded by the strum of London. In the cloud of +greenness which drifted above its communal garden, one could still +listen to the country sounds of birds. At the back gray religion spoke +in the tolling bell of the Parish Church; through Sabbath stillnesses +one could catch the pealing of the organ in the Oratory and the mutter +of worshipers at prayer. Tabs had kept the house as she had left it. It +was something faithful to which to return, however much he failed in the +search for his kingdom and however far he wandered. + +However much he failed! This first day of freedom had been anything but +successful. He felt as though every hope that he had had had been +blotted out; that morning he had had no plan for the future which had +not included Terry. What would be the upshot? Would Braithwaite accept +his challenge to visit him? If he did, what then? He, Tabs, couldn't +very well ask his ex-valet, merely because he was his ex-valet, to +desist from loving the same girl. He had no doubt that Braithwaite, in +his new incarnation as a General, did dare to love her. He had little +doubt that Terry had shown herself at least susceptible to the glamor of +his infatuation. How far had the matter gone between them? There lay the +guess. + +He searched back, trying to piece together phrases which would indicate +the correct answer. There was her disturbing confession about having +given away bits of herself, little bits of herself in wrong directions. +There was her reticence as to the ownership of the car and the way in +which she had tried to prevent a meeting. There was her sympathy for +Maisie's matrimonial excesses; her unnatural tolerance for Adair; her +reiterated excuse for the current love-madness, that people had the +right at any cost to be happy; and the eagerness with which she had +seized on his own words, "to recover our lost years by violence." In the +silence of his brain he heard her voice pleading, urgent with pain and +underlying terror, "Don't you see why I don't condemn? I'm sorry for +you, for myself, for everybody." His knowledge of the world told him +that impassioned latitudinarians were most frequently found among those +who had themselves offended the conventions. Whatever Terry knew or did +not know, she was certainly aware that a match between herself and +General Braithwaite was completely off the map and would be regarded by +every one who counted as a _mesalliance_. + +And what did she know? Not that Braithwaite had been a valet--most +decidedly not that he had been _his_ valet; at most she suspected that +they had been acquainted when Braithwaite had moved in humbler circles. +Had she been possessed of the exact truth, she would never have borrowed +a car from that quarter to meet her ex-lover on his home-coming. She had +been testing--trying to discover. She had scented a mystery--one for the +solving of which none of the General's explanations had proved +convincing. Then had come the unforeseen encounter outside the War +Office and Braithwaite's falsehood, which even Terry had detected. "You +mistake me. It's the first time I've had the pleasure." What was the +man's game? Did he hope to erase his old identity? Did he think---- + +At this point Tabs' patience broke down. "Dash it all," he muttered, "if +there hadn't been a war, the fellow would have been running my +bath-water at this moment." + +If there hadn't been a war! But there had; and this was only one of the +many preposterous situations which had resulted from it. Terry was right +in at least one thing that she had said--the world was upside down and +walking on its head. + +As he lay there thinking, with the topmost branches of the trees in the +Square weaving a tracery of green shadows against his windows, a sudden +inspiration came to him. He sat up. "By Jove, I've got it. Terry's proud +as Lucifer. I can stop this nonsense at any time by telling her who her +lover was. Braithwaite will have to call to see me; I can force him to +it. When he calls, the door will be opened by Ann. I can hold the threat +over him that, if he doesn't promise to break with Terry, I'll expose +him." + +He went across to his writing-table, selected a pen and wrote:-- + + _General Braithwaite, + The War Office, + Whitehall, + London. + + Sir: + + I shall be pleased to see you any time to-morrow at my house in + Brompton Square, which you know so well. The matter which we have to + discuss is urgent. + + Yours truly, + Taborley._ + +He addressed the envelope, sealed it and rang the bell. When Ann +appeared, he handed it to her. "Please see that it's posted +immediately." + +He had done something decisive. For the time being he felt happier. +"Nothing like getting a thing off your chest!" He took a bath and, +having slipped into his dressing-gown, commenced to shave. Between these +acts he whistled snatches of street-songs to prove to himself his +genuine light-heartedness. It was while he was drying his razor that he +started on the wrong air. Where had he heard it? Oh, yes, the sunlit +street, the children dancing and a voice at his side murmuring the words +of the refrain, "Apres la Guerre, there'll be a good time everywhere." + +The old argument commenced again, but with a new justice. "What have I +really got against this chap? To rise from a private to a General is no +crime; it's to his credit. We all had his chance and some of us had more +influence; yet he got there." + +He tried to eliminate his own desires and wounded pride from the +problem. For five years he had been nothing and had been glad to be +nothing, that the cause which he believed to be righteous might triumph +by his self-effacement. What sickness of soul had overtaken him that, on +this, his first day of freedom, he had immediately surrendered to this +orgy of outrageous selfishness? It was Terry that mattered and only +Terry. The stronghold of her happiness was threatened by Braithwaite's +lie. There was a kingdom for everybody, his old theory. As for himself, +if he had been mistaken and his kingdom was not Terry, then he must +press on, for it lay further up the road round some newer turning. +Meanwhile, at whatever cost to himself he must rescue Terry's happiness. + +His heroic state of mind lasted no longer than it takes to set down. He +was demanding too much of his exhausted capacity for self-abnegation. He +was starving for her. His old hunger to win her swept over him +ravenously. Only by winning her could his lost youth be regained. + + +III + +He had almost completed dressing when there came a tap at the door. +Finishing what he was doing in front of the mirror, he answered, "Yes, +what is it, Ann?" + +"Before you go, I should like to speak with your Lordship." + +"Is it important? I've not got too much time." + +"It's--it's something to do with myself." + +"All right. Half a second." + +On opening the door, he saw at once that her face was disturbed. + +"What is it?" + +"It's something to do with him, sir." + +"With whom?" + +"With Braithwaite." + +It was evident that for Ann there was only one _him_ in the world. + +"Well, what of him?" + +Ann commenced speaking slowly. Under the stress of her nervousness she +forgot the correct demeanor for a high-class parlor-maid and became a +country girl, twisting the corner of her white, starched apron in her +hands. + +"I was noticing the address on that letter your Lordship gave me to +post." Tabs thought quickly, "Hullo, we're in for it. That was foolish +of me. She's put two and two together." + +But Ann reassured him in her next sentence. "It was to a General at the +War Office and I was thinking that he might help. Braithwaite and I had +an understanding. I'm not saying we were engaged; we weren't. We didn't +tell anybody. But we'd made up our minds to get married if he ever came +back. If I'd been engaged to him, I'd have a right to make enquiries; +but now, in most people's eyes, I was nothing to him. That's--that's the +hardest part of it. You see, sir, he was never reported dead or missing +or anything. I just stopped hearing from him. So I thought that if this +General was your Lordship's friend----" + +Tabs' brain had been working. He already had a plan. "You thought that I +might persuade him to use his influence to have the records searched?" + +She glanced up hopefully. "That's what I was thinking. Would he do it +for your Lordship? I don't know how to set about things myself. It's +this--this," she almost broke down, "this uncertainty that's a-killing +of me. Sister knows about her man, but I----" + +Tabs saw the redness of sleeplessness in her eyes; it was true--the +uncertainty was killing her. "Don't upset yourself by talking about it," +he said kindly. "I'll write to the General and post my request on my way +out." + +He had supposed he had dismissed her and had seated himself at his desk. +A sound behind him warned him; he looked across his shoulder to find her +still hovering in the doorway. + +She answered his unspoken question as to why she was delaying. "Aren't +there any particulars that your Lordship ought to have? Things like his +regimental number, and his birthday, and where he was born, and all +that? And wouldn't this help?" + +"What's that?" + +She pulled out from her apron-pocket an envelope. "It's one of his +letters. If the General was to see it, he'd know I had the right." + +"May I glance through it?" + +Tabs unfolded the scribbled sheets of paper. They were torn from an Army +note-book. + + _"My darling Ann: + + The jolly old war drags on and seems as though it were never going to + end. Not that I've much to kick about, for it's proved a chance for + me. Here's the great news. I'm in for my commission and shall soon be + 'an officer and a gentleman.' Don't tell his Lordship if you write to + him or see him; he's still in the ranks and might not like it. It's + funny to think that I shall be his military superior before many + weeks are out and that, were he and I to meet, he'd have to salute + me. If I come through the war, I sha'n't go back to being a valet. + Once having been a gentleman----"_ + +Tabs ran rapidly through this sheet and turned to the next:-- + + _"You're wonderfully good. I got the socks that you knitted and the + two parcels of food from Harrods. You mustn't spend so much of your + money on me. When it's all ended, I'll pay you back. We'll get + married and have a little cottage in a little town, the way the song + says that we heard together at the Comedy on my last leave. You + remember how it goes. + + 'And we'll have a little mistress in a silken gown. + A little doggie, a little cat, + A little doorstep, with WELCOME on the mat.' + + "My dearest sweetheart, I love you. + + "Yours, in the pink, etc."_ + +Tabs looked up. "May I keep this for the present?--And, by the way, how +many more of them have you?" + +"Nearly a hundred from the day he enlisted. That's one of the last--I +never heard from him whether he lived to get his commission." + +When she had vanished, he reread the letter more carefully, made a copy +of it and slipped the copy into another envelope addressed to General +Braithwaite, together with a note from himself, which read, "_One of the +important reasons why I am insistent that you shall call on me is +contained in the enclosed copy of one of your many letters, the +originals of all of which are in my possession. To a man of honor it +speaks for itself_." + + +IV + +At the red pillar-box, at the foot of the Square, he posted this second +missive. "He'll receive them both by the first delivery to-morrow," he +thought. "I wonder what he'll---- Rotten! But it can't be helped." Then +he turned to the right by the Tube Station, going up the narrow old +world passage, behind the backs of houses, through the graveyard of the +Brompton Parish Church to Ennismore Gardens and the sudden, railed in +solitudes of Hyde Park. + +There were few pedestrians about. Until he reached the Park they were +for the most part men in evening-dress, going to dinner-parties, like +himself. Sometimes they were accompanied by their wives or sweethearts, +whose little high-heeled shoes made a sharp tap-a-tap against the +pavement. Lamps were lighted. The reluctant twilight was gradually +fading; the sunset still glowed faintly above clustered chimney-pots to +the west. "I'm going to meet Terry," he told himself. "If the day had +worked out as I'd planned, I should be going to ask for her hand in +marriage---- When I planned that, I still believed that I was young." + +Then he thought forward. Sir Tobias, from the moment he entered, would +be scheming to get him to himself. Sir Tobias must be avoided. Directly +dinner was ended, he would try to hurry him off and imprison him in his +library to discuss this Maisie woman and Adair. Still he was going to +see Terry; merely to see her was a compensation which stirred his blood. + +He crossed the Serpentine, stretching like a phantom lake, rose and +slate-colored, through the Peter Pan haunted glades of Kensington +Gardens. Then he emerged from the Victoria Gate and found himself +ringing a bell and being admitted by a butler, who relieved him of his +coat and hat with the velvet-plush manner of a fashionable surgeon +feeling a patient's pulse. + +"If you will come this way, Sir Tobias is waiting for your Lordship in +the library." + +It was happening precisely as he had foreseen; it was being taken for +granted that he had come as her father's friend, and therefore in some +absurd measure as his contemporary. + +As he prepared to follow, his attention was attracted by the scarlet +band and gold braid about an officer's cap which was lying carelessly on +the hall-table beside a pair of dog-skin gloves. + + +V + +Sir Tobias was standing astride the hearth-rug with his back towards the +fire. As the door opened, he was caught in a last nervous adjustment of +his tie. + +He was a little man, inclined to be podgy, brimful of a darting kind of +energy and dignified with an air of fussy distinction which none of his +antics, however grotesque, could diminish. He was Shakespeare as he +might have appeared at sixty, after years and a return to Ann Hathaway +had quenched the taller flames of his poetic fire. The resemblance was +haunting and remarkable: there underlay it a hint of gnome-like agility. +One suspected that he affected age as a disguise. The pointed beard was +white; the scanty hair had receded from the calm forehead; the eyes were +blue and faded, and red about the rims with over-much study. The top +part of the face above the cheek-bones was noble; but the lower part +fell away to a mouth and chin which were amiable and undecided. At the +hour of Tabs' arrival, he was flinging up his hands and spluttering +impotently, an inexpert swimmer in the waters of adversity. + +"My dear Lord Taborley! My dear fellow!" The moment he discovered his +guest in the doorway he came darting forward. "My dear boy, this is real +friendship. We missed you and wanted you so much.--So you're out of it +at last? I mean the khaki." + +The little, wrinkled hand with its stubby fingers reached up timidly in +an attempt to pat the big breadth of shoulders. + +"Yes, I'm out of it, Sir Tobias." + +Tabs didn't want to be patted. He was impatient of polite evasions. He +foresaw that he was expected to spend the next five minutes in replying +to questions which required no answers--all this as a conventional +preface to a discussion of the delicate position of Adair and Maisie. +But Tabs had his own problem, and one question in particular about a hat +on the hall-table that he was burning to ask. They stood staring at each +other, the big, fair man and the worn version of Shakespeare, both +wondering how long it would be decorous to chatter before they clinched +with the vital topic. + +"May as well sit down. There's time for a cigarette. Terry----" Sir +Tobias made a short-winded attempt to push a second arm-chair into place +beside the fire; Tabs achieved the desired end with one lurch of his +body. "Terry brought some one in to tea; he's not gone yet. They never +know when to go, these New Army fellows. Good at their job, they tell +me, but no polish. I suppose I oughtn't to say that--ungrateful of me! +But I'm sick of it all, the invasion of the classes, the women in +trousers, the beggars on horseback, the Jazz music. I want the old world +back--the womanly women, everybody labeled, and Beethoven." + +He pushed the cigarette-box fretfully across to Tabs, having first +selected one for himself. + +"Beethoven," he snorted, "that's what I want, and no bobbed hair and +everybody happily married." + +"This New Army chap who's with Terry," Tabs paused to make his voice +unanxious and ordinary, "does she see much of him? Is she fond of him?" + +"Fond of him!" The little man jerked round quickly. He was in a mood to +see the shadow of terror in the most far-fetched suggestion. "If I +thought she was, I should pack her off to Lady Dawn and keep her with +her until the fellow was dead or----" + +"What's the matter with him?" Tabs flipped the ash off his cigarette +indifferently. + +"The matter with him!" Sir Tobias pulled at the point of his beard, +making a mental effort to frame the charge. "If you'd asked me that +question five years ago I could have told you; but not now. In 1914 we +spoke of a man as belonging to our class and meant that he had our +standards of conduct, our code of honor, our sense of public duty, our +traditions--that he could be trusted to run true to form. To-day any +man's a gentleman, provided he killed enough Germans." + +"But still you do feel that there's something the matter with him." + +"Yes, but I can't tell you for the life of me why I feel it. In many +ways he's admirable: I believe he's about the youngest brigadier we have +who rose from the ranks. There was no hanky-panky about his promotion +either--no petticoat influence; it was all sheer merit and courage. He +was a fighting-man from first to last and shared all the chances. But +the trouble is that one doesn't know where he came from, and, therefore, +one can't be sure where he's going. I know that sounds snobbish. You +have the right to tell me that if a man was good enough to be butchered +to save an old chap like myself, he ought to be good enough to sit down +with me at the same table. But what people don't realize is that men +have been wounded in protecting old chaps like myself in coal-mines, and +on railroads, and a thousand other places ever since the world started, +but until now we never felt it necessary to offer them a bed in our +houses. War asked for the simplest gifts from men, physical strength, +uncomplaining endurance and courage. The war's ended, and if those same +gifts are to continue to secure social advancement, every policeman who +captures a burglar ought to be made a bank-president. When I demand that +a man shall have traditions to be my friend, I ask no more than when I +refuse to buy a dog without a pedigree." + +"But this man, what's he called? If he's as distinguished as you say, I +ought to have heard of him." + +Before his host could answer, the door was discreetly opened. "Dinner is +being served, Sir Tobias." + +There was a rush of light footsteps and Terry breezed past the butler. +"I know you're going to scold me, Daddy. It's all my fault that you were +kept waiting. It took me so long to persuade General Braithwaite. By the +time he'd consented---- I had to dress like a hurricane. I'm not at all +sure that I'm properly hooked up the back. I know I feel draughty." +Then, as though she had not remembered that he was expected, "Why, +hullo, Tabs! In a dinner-jacket! You do look peaceful and jolly." + + +VI + +They had taken their places at the square handsome table, illuminated at +each corner by a silver candle-stick, red-shaded and electric-lighted. +Tabs and Terry were seated side by side, so that he saw her always in +profile, except when she turned to him in conversation. He saw the soft +roundness of her shoulder, the satin pallor of her throat and breast, +the quivering gold of her childishly wavy hair. + +The General sat isolated, opposite and facing them. Sir Tobias and his +wife sat at either end--had they known it, for all the world like +judges. + +Lady Beddow was a proud, unbending woman, gracious to her own sort, +unquestioningly respectful to those above her, tender in a practical way +to those below her and coldly scrutinizing to any one who tapped at her +door claiming to be an equal. Being bred to her finger-tips, she was as +ill-at-ease as her husband in the jostling democracy of the moment. + +In the hall Sir Tobias rather huffily had introduced his guests. Tabs +had relieved the tension by smiling quietly at Braithwaite, "The General +and I have met before." + +It was an uncomfortable dinner from the moment they sat down. Sir +Tobias, although he had shown no signs of it in the library, seemed to +have developed a resentment at having been kept waiting. No reference +was made to this resentment, but Terry and the General were obviously +the culprits. Sir Tobias was vaguely unhappy and had to blame somebody. +Under the tacitly implied criticism Terry's rebellious spirits rose +higher, but the General's authoritative assurance began to crumble. + +Sir Tobias was continuing the conversation which had started in the +library. He seemed oblivious to the fact that it had then concerned the +man who was now present. "You can't make the world afresh with a +catastrophe. Men are like water: in a storm they rise above or sink +below themselves. When the disturbance is ended, they tend to find their +own level. War destroys; it never created anything." + +"That's not true, if you'll excuse me for contradicting you. You're +speaking without knowledge." Braithwaite uttered himself bluntly as he +would have done in his own Headquarters' mess--this despite the fact +that it was Tabs whom his host had been addressing. + +In his astonishment, Sir Tobias nearly gagged himself with the soup that +he was on the point of swallowing. He blinked mildly at this confident +young man, his breast ablaze with decorations, whom he had not invited. +"Then, in your opinion, what has war ever created," he asked with +dangerous courtesy; "this war, for instance, that's just ended?" + +"This war that's just ended is the only war of which I have had any +experience." Braithwaite glanced across at Terry for encouragement. "I +know what it created in me and in thousands like me. It created in us +the most valuable of all assets--character. In the bitter test of pain +and dirt and despair we _found_ ourselves--found ourselves capable of +more nobility than we had ever dreamt possible. We sorted out afresh, in +hours that we thought would be our last, all our inherited superstitions +and servilities; in so doing we discovered that God and life itself are +much kinder than we had been informed. Because of that discovery men who +had been timid learnt how to face death gladly, shirkers how to shoulder +responsibility, selfish people how to become decent through the fine +humanity of sharing. Time-servers learnt how to get up off their bellies +and confront misfortune with a laugh. I don't know whether I make myself +clear; perhaps one had to be a part of the great game to understand its +lessons. That we do understand them is the reward of those who have +survived. We've come back to you as uncomfortable fellows; we shall be +much more uncomfortable before we're satisfied. We intend to fight for +the same equalities in peace that you sent us out to fight for in war. +You asked me what this particular war has created; it has created a +complete new set of social and spiritual values. It's done away with the +uncharity of caste." + +During his last words he had been gazing across the table at Tabs with a +fearless challenge, as much as to say, "That's who I am. Now expose me." + +But Tabs was remembering the coster's reason for not having dragged him +into the police-courts, "Served in the ranks, did yer? Then you and me +was pals out there!" Braithwaite, whether he knew it or not, had been +doing a piece of special pleading for himself. He and Braithwaite, +whatever they might be now, had been pals out there. Silently Tabs had +been thinking while he had been listening, "You're right and I'm with +you. I'd be with you still more if you'd only live up to your standards +by sticking to Ann." + +It was Sir Tobias who took the offensive. The soup-plates had been +removed and the fish-course had not yet been served. He had the leisure +to talk. "You men who have been in the Army," he said testily, +"especially those of you who have gained your promotion rapidly, always +speak as if the rest of us had been receivers of stolen goods until you +put on uniforms. Armies are composed of youth; for most of you it was +the first time you had tasted authority. It's gone to your heads; you +want to brush experience aside and dragoon the older world into new +formations. You, who were civilians yourselves, have come back despising +us civilians; your contempt is three-parts fear lest you'll fail, as you +failed before, in the old civilian competitive struggle. You talk about +the virtues war has taught; let's grant them and grant them +gratefully--they saved us from destruction. But what about the frantic +recklessness it encouraged, the cheap views of bodily chastity, the +desperate insistence on momentary happiness?" At the mention of bodily +chastity, Lady Beddow from the other end of the table had stuttered a +"tut, tut!" Her husband dodged it, as a boy might dodge a wheelbarrow +upset in his path. Without shifting his glance he ran on. "A complete +new set of social and spiritual values! Rubbish! War places an excessive +premium on merely brutal qualities--muscle, bone, sinew, all the +paraphernalia of physical endurance. What use has it got for old fellows +of intellectual attainments like myself? It takes the greatest poet, +singer, painter, violinist; all it can do with him is to thrust a rifle +into his hands. All brains look alike, Michael Angelo's or a +rag-picker's, when they're spattered in the mud of a trench. Take Lord +Taborley here, for instance--all that military stupidity could do with +him was to keep him in the ranks for two years. You can't make me +believe in your complete new set of social and spiritual values. A +complete unrest and insubordination to time-honored moralities is the +legacy of war." + +Having delivered himself, he tucked his napkin tighter into his +waistcoat and attacked the fish-course, as though by this display of +gastronomic energy he could somehow strengthen his argument. + +It was clear to Tabs that behind all that Sir Tobias had been saying lay +his misery over Maisie and Adair. He saw the world always in the +personal equation. + +"I agree with most of your statements," the General blundered on. "And +yet you're wrong. You miss something. I think it's the vision of the +stupendous heroism. You never saw it; you don't want to see it. That you +never saw it we can understand; but that you shouldn't want to see it, +makes us see red. It was something that we did for you, and you take it +all for granted. You cheered us and jeered us into going because you +were frightened. You handed us white feathers if we hesitated. You +dragged us from our jobs and very often we were poor men, who had no +such financial security as was yours. You promised that if we would +share our lives with you, you'd go fifty-fifty with us on your financial +security. There wasn't time to have deeds of agreement drawn up; we took +you at your word. And what a lie it was! Why, I passed a blinded officer +in Regent Street to-day peddling shoe-laces. The day before a jobless +soldier threw himself beneath a train and his last words were, 'Over the +top and the best of luck.' There's a Colonel I see by to-night's paper +who's gone back to being a policeman. If you see a man in uniform +to-day, your unspoken thought is, 'For God's sake take it off.' I tell +you it's all wrong. It's that kind of ingratitude that leads to +revolution. You talk about the brutality of war; it's not a patch on the +brutality of peace. You treated men's lives as yours while the danger +lasted, but you insist that your possessions are your own now that it's +been averted." + +He took a breath and glanced round. + +Tabs was nodding unconscious approval. Terry's face reflected the fire +of his own passionate indignation and enthusiasm. The butler in the +shadows had turned his back non-committally and was making a pretense of +fiddling with the next course. Lady Beddow sat very upright and +startled, grasping her knife and fork as though they helped to support +her. The only person who was still doing justice to the meal was the +worn-out version of Shakespeare, who was responsible for the storm. + +The silence seemed to call for a final climax. The ex-valet cleared his +throat. And it was to his ex-valet that Tabs listened; he had forgotten +the General. It was as though the grimness of reality had interrupted a +piece of play-acting. There was less heat in Braithwaite's voice now and +more reproach. "You said nothing about caste in those days, when you +hurried us to the shambles. You promised us---- What was it that you +promised us?" + +"A kingdom round the corner," Tabs suggested. The next minute he felt +Terry's warm little hand clinging to his own beneath the tablecloth. + +Braithwaite stared at Tabs to see whether he were jesting; then smiled +in relieved friendship at this proof of comradeship from an unexpected +quarter. "Yes, perhaps it was that--a future kindliness, where we should +all be men together, neither free nor bond." Then again to his host, +"You sent us out there where everything was censored. Scarcely a whisper +of the truth reached you. The very war-correspondents were instructed to +delete the horror and to write nothing that would disturb your calm. +We've come back, what are left of us; we think you ought to know what +really happened. It isn't that we take much pleasure in telling you, but +we think that if you knew, you might be persuaded to keep at least some +of your promises. And what do you do? You reassert your privilege to +despise us. You stuff your fingers in your ears and talk about caste, +and forgetting the war, and getting back to work. Sir Tobias, I'm afraid +I'm being far too personal, but you're a sample of millions who weren't +there. You're living in a totally altered world of whose very existence +you're content to be unaware. Your complacency drives men like myself to +the point of madness. We hold that you have no right to be complacent +until the bill you put your hand to has been settled. I don't know how +Lord Taborley feels; he's not expressed----" + +"Tabs feels exactly the way you do and so do I." It was Terry speaking, +like the shrill courage of a bugle answering the slow bass of a +trumpet-call. "We're the world that purchased victory--we three, while +the rest of the world sat back. It was men like you two who got gassed, +and wrenched, and tortured, and girls like myself who patched you up and +flirted with you so that we might send you back to the Front +cheery--girls like myself who hadn't known love, or children, or +anything but a nursery sort of happiness. We three and people like us +understand, because we paid the price together." + +"Really, Terry, I must confess there are times when you shock me." As +Lady Beddow rose from her seat, she was the picture of disapproval. From +the door, which the butler held open for her, she glanced back. "I think +this discussion has gone _very_ far." + +As she swept out, she called across her shoulder, as one might call to a +pet dog, "Come, Terry." + + +VII + +But Terry did not come; she sat on tightly, just as if she were a man +among men. Until coffee had been served and the room was free from +servants, there was a pretense at small-talk in which Sir Tobias did not +join. He crouched moodily in his chair, an unlighted cigar between his +fingers, looking very old and somehow deserted. With the instinctive +tenderness which she always showed when she knew that she had hurt, +Terry got up and went to him. She linked her arms about his neck and +stooped to kiss the bald-spot on his head. "Cheer up, Daddy dear; it +isn't half as bad as it sounded. Don't you want me to light your cigar +for you?" + +Tabs, to distract attention from the reconciliation, addressed the +General. It was odd that he should feel so much sympathy for a man whom +his letters, already beyond recall, would stir into panic in the +morning. "Do you intend to stay in the Army, sir?" + +"No. But why do you ask? They're getting rid of all of us who aren't +Regulars, no matter how brilliant our service. They're making the Army +again a social club. I shall soon be out of uniform." + +"And then?" Tabs persisted. + +"Oh, then I shall find something else." He spoke airily, but the shadow +which crossed his handsome face added plainly as words, "If I can find +anything." + +"If it isn't impertinence," Tabs sank his voice, "may I ask what you +intend to turn to?" + +The General eyed him suspiciously, wondering whether he was again about +to lay claim to the previous embarrassing acquaintance. "I have several +things in view," he said sketchily, "from which a man in my position +ought to be able to choose." + +"Ought! But that hasn't been the story up-to-date. What of the Colonel +you were just telling us about?" Tabs saw that another storm was +brewing. He leant across the table and hurried on. "If the worst comes +to the worst, I expect your old job's waiting for you. The qualities +which have made you what you are to-day, must have been recognized and +valued----" Terry had completed her reconciliation with her father and +was resting her gaze upon them. Tabs altered his tone. "You put what you +said at dinner rather strongly, sir. But I understand what you were +driving at--it was the democracy of the front-line where courage, which +at its best is unselfishness, was our only standard of aristocracy." + +Before the General could make reply, Sir Tobias had raised his +bewildered head. "It's a thing that I for one don't want to understand. +I don't want to go on living, if what you've said is true." + +Tabs turned considerately to the older man. "I think you would if you +knew. The difference that war made to all of us who were there was that +it taught us to judge men by their good points rather than their +defects. It upset all our preconceived notions about society, especially +our notions about the extreme value of race and breeding. What we +learnt was that there's a breeding of the heart which enables a man from +the gutter to run true to the highest form." + +Sir Tobias leveled his weary eyes in challenge. "Then what about Adair?" + +The name was out at last--the name which he had been trying to get +uttered all evening. It didn't matter that Adair hadn't been at the war +and had no proper place in the argument. He had wanted to break through +his reticence due to his sense of impending family disaster. At last he +had done it. + +"I think, Daddy," Terry said, "the General and I had better leave you +and Tabs to talk alone." + +The next thing that Tabs saw was Terry making her escape with this other +man. He had it in his power to settle his suspense for all time by +saying, "One minute, Terry. You're choosing between the General and +myself. It may help you in making your decision to know that Braithwaite +was once----" But the coster's definition of fair-play deterred him. +This man had been his pal in the trenches; because of that he allowed +himself for the second time that day to be shut out from the company of +youth. He hadn't discovered how much or how little she knew. By her +withdrawal he was made to feel middle-aged--more nearly her father's +contemporary than ever. Yet, as an underlying comfort to his distress, +he had the remembered pressure of the little hand that had sought his +own in secret friendliness. + +He turned to Sir Tobias. "Yes, what about Adair? Terry said that you +wanted to consult me. If there's anything that I can say or do----" + + +VIII + +The door was reopening. Tabs glanced back across his shoulder through +the shadows. She was hovering just inside the threshold, hastily clad in +her evening-wrap; beyond her in the hall the General stood fidgeting +with his cap. Sir Tobias was sitting with his head bowed; he had not +heard the sound of her reentry. He spoke evidently believing that they +two were alone. "I don't like that fellow. It's the last time he ever +comes to my house. Whatever Terry can see in him---- And he's not good +for Terry." + +She tiptoed back into the hall, pulling the door softly behind her. A +moment later the front door closed with a bang. + +"What was that?" Sir Tobias looked up gnome-like and startled. + +Tabs guessed what it was; but because, as she had said they three had +paid the price together, he kept her secret. "General Braithwaite, +probably. But you were speaking of Adair?" + +Sir Tobias shivered, betraying his nervous tension. "A disturber," he +said irritably, "even in his going. And yet, I suppose it's true; we +shouldn't be sitting here comfortably to-night if it hadn't been for his +sort." + +Now that it had been broached, it was anything to avoid the main topic. +He drummed with his fingers on the table, ceased drumming and sighed +heavily. "Yes, I was speaking of Adair. I don't understand him. I've +grown out of touch; I don't seem to understand anybody. I'm left behind, +somehow. People do things to-day that they never used to do. They shout +about things from the house-tops which all my life I've mentioned only +in whispers. Terry does; you heard what she said to-night about never +having been loved and never having had children. The loss of +delicacy----" + +"I wouldn't call it a loss of delicacy." Tabs struck a match. "I would +call it a loss of prudishness. We all know that girls are born to be +married and that the best of them long to have children. Why shouldn't +they own it? You owned it long ago when you bought her dolls. The lid is +off false reticences. I hope it stays off; we shall be a much honester +world." + +"The lid's off! That's the phrase I was searching for." Sir Tobias leant +forward confidentially. "You haven't been much in England during the +past four years or you'd know how badly the lid is off. You men, when +you were in the trenches, lived above yourselves; but, the moment you +came home on leave, you taught the world that wasn't in khaki how to +live below itself. I could tell you stories----" + +"I know." Tabs didn't want to hear those stories. "It was pathetic. Men +tried to steal in a handful of hours all the passionate experiences that +would have come to them beautifully and legitimately over forty years. +It was like snatching from a bargain-counter things that you hadn't time +to pay for. You were young and you were so soon to be snuffed out. The +unthoughtful took desperately what they believed life owed them. +They----" + +It was the turn of Sir Tobias to interrupt. "But so did the women--this +Maisie woman, for instance. It was astounding--the women one would least +have expected. All the desires we had caged through the centuries broke +loose--caged with traditions, with public opinion and scriptural +penalties." He was delighted with his image and went on to elaborate it. +"They broke loose like wild animals from a menagerie. We'd always known +they existed. Sometimes we'd paid surreptitious visits to them in +books," the old eyes blinked cautiously, "the way one goes to the Zoo, +to remind himself that there is a jungle somewhere. But we'd only +regarded them as specimens; we'd never expected to meet them roaming +about the streets loose or coming as domestic pets into our houses. Now +the war's ended and the jungle's all about us; we can't get the animals +back into their cages. Fellows like this General Braithwaite don't help +matters by telling us that we oughtn't to want to get them back----" + +"Perhaps he's one of the animals," Tabs interpolated. "You couldn't +expect him to want to be put back." + +"Perhaps he is. In fact that's what I've felt about him. That's what's +helped me to make up my mind that he shall see no more of Terry." He +reached out and tapped Tabs' hand, taking it for granted that he was his +ally. "The sight's becoming far too normal--wild beasts everywhere, +sunning themselves in impertinent freedom, as if they were house-cats. +Nobody's shocked at it any longer. Terry isn't. Lloyd George isn't--at +least he pretends he isn't for fear the wild beasts may lose him an +election. No one makes a stand. It's left for private individuals like +ourselves, to----" + +"To do what?" + +Sir Tobias lost his stride. He blinked reproachfully. "To get them back +into their cages." + +For an instant Tabs nearly smiled. "And Adair--is he the first wild +beast we tackle? Have we got to get him back into the cage of matrimony? +Tell me about Adair." + +"It was no cage." Sir Tobias spoke almost resentfully. "His home was a +kind of nest and Phyllis was the mother-bird." + +The butler had looked in several times to see whether he was free to +clear away. For the first time Sir Tobias became aware of him pottering +in the shadows. "Perhaps we'd better continue in my library." + +He pushed back his chair, dropped his napkin, groped after it feebly, +then led the way solemnly across the hall. When he had seated himself +before the fire and fortified his courage with a fresh cigar, he plunged +headlong into the story of his son-in-law's delinquencies. + + +IX + +"How a man who has a daughter of mine for his wife can find attraction +in any other woman is more than I can fathom." + +"I agree with you there, sir." Tabs suddenly found himself carried off +his feet and on the point of a confession. "If any man were to play +false by Terry, I think--I think I'd brain him." + +Sir Tobias half-closed his eyes and regarded his guest with sleepy +approval. "I somehow knew," he said slowly, "that that was how you +felt." Then he opened his eyes wide and darted forward in his chair, as +though to trace exactly the effect of his words. He was full of tricks +and contradictions, obstinacies and tendernesses, this Punch-like old +gentleman with the head of Shakespeare. "I knew that was how you felt," +he continued, "because you've seen all the love that has gone to their +making. You were already a big fellow when they were still tiny. Wasn't +it Terry who first called you Tabs because her tongue couldn't get round +Taborley? Ah, I've been so proud of my girls! They were so little and +white when they first came to us. They couldn't walk--not a step. One +had to carry them everywhere. Then they began to crawl; they couldn't +stand up right unless one gave them his hand. And then at last they +walked. They walked by one's side at first and soon got tired. But as +they grew stronger, they walked away and away, always getting more +incomprehensible, till finally--it hasn't happened to Terry yet--till +finally they met a man. Wait till you're a father, Lord Taborley; from +the moment you give all that whiteness into another's keeping, you never +cease to be jealous of him. He can never appreciate what a gift you have +made him. He never saw her when she was little and helpless. She's your +youth--she's everything vigorous that you were. The first time he +affords you with a reason for hating him, you'll hate him like---- The +way you said: so that you could brain him without compunction. +Adair----I could cheerfully kill him." + +Tabs felt rather than heard the pent-up passion in his voice; it alarmed +him with its sincerity. "But mayn't you be exaggerating?" he suggested. +"Are you sure that Adair---- What I mean to say is, he may be only +philandering. Heaps of men do that--go through all the motions of making +fools of themselves and actually do nothing. He may be only expressing +the discontent of the moment, the revolt from suspense, the flatness of +quiet after terrible excitements. One didn't need to be a fighting-man +to share those excitements. You say that Phyllis made a nest of her +home. Perhaps he didn't like nests. It may be that that's done it. Adair +can't have altered so radically over night; he wasn't forceful enough to +erupt so disastrously. He was decent----" + +"I know nothing definite." The passion had died down. It was again an +old and weary man who spoke. "I only know that she believes he's +abandoning her and that it makes her wretched. She wants him back; if +there's any way of getting him back, she must have him. I never denied +anything to my girls. If money will persuade him, it's for you to find +out how much. If this Lockwood woman has a price, let her state it. I'll +spare nothing. Though everything else has lost its value, money still +has the power to purchase. I can't buy back faithfulness and loyalty; +but I should be able to buy the appearance of it. If I were you I would +tackle this Lockwood woman first." + +He tossed the stub of his cigar towards the fire. It fell short in the +grate. He picked it up and rammed it deep into the burning coals. He +looked a poor, old, pitiful child, uttering embittered heresies. "All +women are mercenary; all of them except my wife and daughters. Ah, yes, +and Lady Dawn." + +Tabs wondered what Lady Dawn had done to gain exemption from this +sweeping accusation. "I'll see this Maisie Lockwood to-morrow," he said, +"if you can tell me where she lives." + +Sir Tobias had risen and was seating himself at his desk. "I'll copy you +out her address. I have it somewhere buried among these papers." + +He had hidden it so thoroughly that it took a few minutes to find. As he +rustled sundry sheets and stooped over them round-shouldered, Tabs had +time to reflect. Terry! Where was she? She was so little and unprotected +and white. Would a day ever come when a man would play her false? At +this moment he had it in his power to prevent that day from ever +arriving. + +"Ah, here it is!" It was his host talking. Then the painful scratching +of the pen commenced. + +"Sir Tobias, I want to speak to you about Terry." The scratching of the +pen stopped, but the shoulders remained bowed. "This is an unfortunate +night for me to choose to talk to you about her, but---- To tell the +truth, I feel that if I don't speak to-night I may lose my chance." + +"What do you want to say about her?" The shoulders had unhunched +themselves, but the head had not turned. + +"Only this, that I've loved her for a very long while and that if you +don't think I'm too old, I should like your permission to ask her to +marry me." + +Tabs thought to himself with a glow of satisfaction, "At last I've done +it. And done it in just the way and at just the time that I'd always +planned." + +He felt the pride of a man who had worked on schedule and been punctual +to the second. + +Sir Tobias turned. His face was composed. It was some seconds before he +spoke. "Of course this is no surprise to me. You _are_ old for her. +You'll be fifty-five when she's scarcely forty." He paused and Tabs' +heart sank. "You're older than her; but then you're wiser. She needs a +husband who'll be wise." He sat leisurely as though he were resting from +a long journey; then he stretched out his hand. Tabs went over and took +it. "My dear fellow, there's only one thing I ask: make her always +happy." + +The clock in the hall struck midnight. He lifted himself to his feet. "I +had no idea how the time had flown. By the way, that's the address--the +Maisie woman's." + +Tabs took it carelessly. It had become a thing of little consequence. He +folded it away in his pocket. "And when shall I see Terry?" Of a sudden +he felt that he must see her; see her and make sure of her without loss +of time. + +"To-morrow, I suppose. Say about eleven." + +Tabs thought back. He had expected to receive a call from General +Braithwaite about eleven, or at least to hear from him as soon as he had +opened his morning's letters. Then he smiled to himself; when once he +was engaged to Terry, what General Braithwaite did or did not do would +be no longer of any importance. + +"Yes, about eleven, if it'll be agreeable to Terry." + +"There's not much doubt about its being agreeable to her." + +They passed out into the hall. While Tabs found his hat and coat, they +spoke only in monosyllables. The servants had gone to bed. The house was +intensely silent. + +They had got as far as the front-door and Sir Tobias already had his +hand upon the latch, when a taxi purred up to the pavement and came to a +halt immediately outside. "Some one stopping at the wrong house," he +hazarded and threw the door wide. "See you again to-morrow." + +"Yes, to-morrow." + +"At eleven," Sir Tobias reminded. + +"On the dot of eleven," Tabs confirmed. + +He passed into the cool night air, wistful with the fragrance of unseen +flowers. His eyes were dazed for the moment by the sudden change of +light. He made out the blurred silhouette of the taxi and faltered, +thinking he might have a chance to hire it; then he saw that its shadowy +occupants were climbing back into its deeper darkness. It seemed that +Sir Tobias had been right; it had stopped at the wrong house. + +As he reached the corner where he turned, he glanced back. The taxi had +not moved. Its occupants were again getting out--an officer and a girl. +The girl was ringing the bell of the house that he had left, while, the +officer was settling with the driver. As he joined her, the door opened, +letting fall a shaft of light. There was a brief parley--evidently +hurried explanations. Even at that distance he could recognize the +indignant tones of Sir Tobias' angry voice. Then he heard the "Shish, +Daddy!" from Terry. They entered. The door closed behind them. The taxi +moved off in the opposite direction. Again there was silence--nothing +but the fragrance of unseen flowers and the wistfulness of the cool, +spring night. + + + + +CHAPTER THE THIRD + +ALL SORTS OF KINGDOMS + + +I + +Tabs had dressed himself with more than ordinary care. He was rather +amused at his self-consciousness in having done so, and a little +disdainful of it. Yet he knew that in the winning of a woman the +strategy of clothes has its value; he had no intention of losing a trick +by negligence. It was nine o'clock when he sat down to breakfast; within +two hours he would be seeing Terry. + +It was a gay morning, lacquered with sunshine; bustling breezes made +young leaves of trees in the little Square murmurous. Ever since he had +wakened he had been listening to the gossiping chirp of congregated +sparrows and the rolling boom of tumultuous traffic. At intervals across +the upland of roofs there had drifted to him the far-blown chime of +bells and the slower music of clocks striking. It was like an orchestra +scraping its chairs and tuning up before crashing into the overture of +the happier world. + +Lying beside his plate as he came down he saw a single letter. It was +addressed to him in an unfamiliar feminine hand. He picked it up and +examined it carefully with the air of a connoisseur. So long as a +letter remains unopened, especially when it is to a bachelor from an +unknown woman, it retains an atmosphere of adventure. Up to a point he +resented the intrusion. This morning his thoughts should have been so +utterly Terry's. And yet he was piqued by it. + +He slit the envelope. The letter-head was embossed with a crest quite +unknown to any but the most modern heraldry. He read:-- + + _Dear Lord Taborley: + + I have been given to understand that you are exceedingly anxious to + make my acquaintance. If this is so, I shall be at home when you call + to-morrow afternoon. Asking your lenience for this liberty, I remain, + + Yours very truly, + + Maisie P. Lockwood._ + +"To-morrow afternoon! Written yesterday! That means the afternoon of +to-day.--And why the _P_--Maisie _P._ Lockwood? Is that for Pollock, her +first husband?--Unusual! A rather naive person!" Then his face went +blank. "She must be a thought-reader! How the dickens did she guess that +I wanted to make her acquaintance? I scarcely knew it myself at the time +that she wrote this letter." + +Crushing the scented sheet in his hand, he tossed it into the empty +grate. "My dear lady, if you can read minds so accurately at a distance, +be assured of this: to-day I shall be too busy with Terry to have any +time to spare on you." + +The door from the narrow hall partly opened. "May I come in?" + +At sound of her voice, he sprang to his feet, upsetting his chair. She +made bold to look in at him. "Why, Tabs, you _are_ a late breakfaster. +Daddy told me you were planning to see me at eleven; to save you the +trouble, I hurried round." + +Like a flurry of March sunshine, Terry entered. + + +II + +He scarcely knew how to greet her. How does one greet a girl whose +permission he has yet to gain, whereas her father has already consented? +Moreover, there was his last memory of her, at midnight dodging into the +taxi to avoid him. + +She spared him the trouble of deciding by holding out her hand. "I know +that you saw me. That's what I've come to talk about." + +Her smile as she said it was both embarrassed and frank. She looked like +an honest youngster who had come voluntarily to confess and, if need be, +to be spanked. Tabs noticed that her lower lip was tremulous and that +she was whipping up her courage. His mind went back to days when she had +really been a child and he a man--when he had bound up cut fingers for +her, had taken her on fishing expeditions, had taught her to cast her +first fly and, as a reward, before the nursery lights went out, had been +allowed to see her snuggled safe in bed. Little Terry, she had been his +tiny sister in those days whom he had loved with no thought of +gain--just a small companion for whom he bought exciting presents +wherever he voyaged across the world--a doll's house in China, a quirt +in Mexico, a scarlet riding-saddle in Persia. It hurt him to see her +afraid of him now--afraid of him because he was about to offer her the +greatest of all presents. Was she afraid because he was too old for her? + +"You don't need to talk about it unless you like," he said kindly. +"Whatever you do or have done is right." + +"That's not true." She wrung her hands. "Oh, Tabs, you make it so hard +for me when you're generous. I haven't done right. I'm in a tangle. I +don't know whether what I'll do in the future will be any better." + +They were still standing just as they had confronted each other when she +had entered. Tabs glanced round the room at the used breakfast-table, +Maisie's crumpled petition lying in the grate, the flood of sunlight and +the tops of the heads of passers-by stealing across the pane above the +stiff row of tulips. His eyes went back to the flower-face of this young +girl as she stood before him, fashionably attired and battling to +conceal the storm of her distress. The setting struck him as inadequate +and unprivate. The hats which stole by above the row of tulips seemed to +belong to spies. At any moment Ann might tap and request that she be +allowed to clear the table. He believed that in the next half-hour his +dream of the last five years was to be shattered; otherwise, if it had +not been to spare him, why should Terry have paid him so unconventional +a visit, at such an unconventional hour, when by every law of usage she +should have been waiting for him to call on her? + +"How about upstairs?" he suggested. "In my study we shall be sure to be +undisturbed." + +"No, Tabs, dear," and the little added word touched him strangely, "I've +got to say at once what has to be said. It's like waiting at the +dentist's--it's the waiting that's so wearing." Her face lit up with the +ghost of a smile. "When you've faced the real pain, it's over in a +second." + +She seated herself. Reluctantly he followed her example. But when she +was seated, she found herself at a loss for words. She drew off her +gloves, and sat there folding and refolding them. He waited for her to +commence; the silence was unbroken, save for the laughter of children +playing in the Square and the occasional tapping of footsteps on the +pavement. He leant across the table and took her hand. "Terry, after all +these years you're not afraid of me? You don't need to be. Remember what +you've just said: it's the waiting that's so wearing; the real pain's +over in a second. Get the real pain over; then we'll plan for the best." + +She looked up gratefully with eyes that were almost clear of trouble. +"You're gentle--so different from other men. I could almost love you; I +do love you. But not quite in the way---- You understand. I trust you +more than any one in the world." + +"Then why----?" + +"Ah, why?" she echoed. "That's what I wish you could tell me. Why should +I be able to offer more to--to some one else whom I trust less? So much +less?" + +"But is that love, Terry? Isn't it infatuation? Could you keep on +offering? Loving means marrying and marrying means being together +without respite." + +"I know," she nodded wisely. "I know all that. I know it so well that I +don't want to marry him or anybody--at least, not yet." + +"Then why----?" + +She took his other hand in hers, clinging to it as if she were drowning. +"That's the second time you've asked me why. I'll tell you. Because if I +don't say 'Yes,' I shall lose him. Even though I may not want him +forever, I can't bear to lose him for now. You must know the +feeling--you who are in love. And that's why," her voice choked with the +tears that she kept back from her eyes, "that's why I promised him last +night." + +"Last night!" Tabs spoke slowly, trying to bring the finality home to +himself. + +"Last night," she repeated; "the night that should have been yours. The +night I had promised to you for years." Then, in a flame of +self-derision, "Why don't you let go my hands and hate me, now that you +know how treacherous I am?" + +"You're not treacherous." He smoothed the slim fingers as though he were +coaxing a child. "You mustn't be unjust to yourself. When we're in love +we're all apt to be unjust; I was yesterday, to this man. Injustice, +whether to oneself or to some one else, works most of our mischief; one +never knows where it ends. We can't control our hearts, Terry; you've +tried. You've tried to make your heart love me and it's refused. Don't +be miserable because of it; you couldn't help that. And this man--he's a +fine fellow. I always knew he was a fine fellow, until seeing him with +you yesterday made me jealous and blinded my eyes. He's a finer fellow +than ever now. You couldn't love him if he weren't." + +She wasn't giving him the enthusiastic attention that his praise +deserved. Somewhere at the back of her mind there lay a doubt with which +she wrestled while he strove to comfort her. He believed that he had +guessed her doubt. "As for not trusting him the way you trust me," he +explained, "that's natural. We know the whole of each other's lives; our +families are the same kind of families and we share the same kind of +friends. Whereas----" + +"Whereas," she broke in, "I know nothing about his past, where he lived, +who his people were or anything. I know nothing that he enjoyed or +laughed at before I saw him lying quietly in our hospital-ward in +France. I've questioned him as much as I dared; but always he grows +vague. There's something that he's hiding from me. I only gathered that +he had known you from the way he pricked up and listened whenever your +name was mentioned. That was why, without warning either of you, +I----You see, I had to find out. And then, when he met you face to face +he--he lied." + +"Hush, Terry." + +"But he did. He lied." + +She had withdrawn her hands from his and sat back eyeing him with a +clear look of challenge. Tabs was at a loss to explain her change of +attitude. Yesterday she had been all for defending this man. What did +she gain by accusing him now that she was engaged to him? In any case +she had employed too ugly a word. And here was a strange state of +affairs, that it should be left to him to defend his successful rival. + +"A man is not compelled to know another man unless he likes," he said +cautiously. "They may have met some time in the past under unfortunate +circumstances--circumstances which are embarrassing to remember. The man +to whom that memory is a disadvantage has a right to protect himself by +sweeping it clean from his mind." + +"But not to lie about it to the girl he says he loves," she declared. +"There can be only one motive for such a denial: that it covers up +something which is dishonorable." + +"But there never was anything dishonorable. That I swear." + +"Then he believes that I would think it dishonorable," she insisted; +"which means that he doesn't trust me. That's the reason I can't trust +him in return. If we don't trust each other now, how can we hope that +things would be better if we married?" + +Her logic was unanswerable, but she was arguing on the wrong side. At +what was she driving? He gave it up. Was she wanting him to tell her +where and when he and her future husband had met? The eagerness of her +silence seemed to demand as much. But there are rules to every game. No +pressure that she could bring to bear could make him tell her that. She +recognized those rules by refraining from putting her request into +words. + +It was he who broke the silence. His tones were puzzled. "You come to me +on the morning that I had hoped to be engaged to you myself and you +confide all these secrets about this other man. You insist that neither +of you trusts the other and that you could find no happiness in +marriage. Then why, in heaven's name, Terry, did you pledge yourself to +him last night?" + +"The fear of losing him----" Her face quivered pitifully. She was on the +verge of weeping. "He overheard what Daddy said about forbidding him the +house. It seemed our last time together. I couldn't bear that it should +be the last. It was to keep him near me for just a little longer that +I----" + +Tabs rose and limped to the window. He dared not let himself go, the way +his instincts urged. They might carry him too far. She looked so much +like the little girl in short skirts he had known, as she sat there +bravely trying not to cry. He wanted to take her on his knees, as in the +old days. Now that she loved another man, he was not allowed to show her +comfort in that way any longer. That she should run to him for help and +yet love some one else, wounded his pride. What was the matter with him +that he had failed to stir her passion? Why could he appeal only to her +helplessness? + +Inside the communal garden, with its surrounding railings and locked +gates, nurses in uniforms were pushing prams. Toddlers were tossing a +ball across the lawn and tottering after it with excited shouts. Beneath +a tree in the clear sunshine a young mother sat sewing. Other men's +women! Other men's babies! He would have to set out in search of his +kingdom afresh; all his old quests had been mistaken. But he was older +now and lame; he lacked the energy for a new journey. It seemed to him +that he would be alone and unwanted always. + +A telegraph-girl was mounting the steps. He heard the bell ring without +interest. Gazing out, with his back towards Terry, he put to her what he +intended should be his final question. "You promised him last +night--then why did you hurry round to me this morning?" + +Her dress rustled and her breathing quickened. "Because----" she +commenced and failed. He did not turn his head. She tried again in a +lower voice, "Because I want you to get my promise back." + +He swung round and crossed to where she was still sitting. With his +hands resting lightly on her shoulders, he stared down at her golden +head. "But, Terry dear, why? Look at me. You must tell me." + +She did not look at him. "I'm frightened. Nobody knows as yet; so before +they know---- Oh, Tabs, you're so clever; you can do anything." And then +she repeated whimperingly, like a child over a broken toy, "I want you +to get my promise back." + +"Listen to me, Terry dearest," he spoke coaxingly, "don't be a baby. +What is it that you're asking me to do? Is it to see him for you and to +break the news that you've altered your mind over night. You know he'll +want reasons. What shall I tell----?" + +She lifted her head, stretching back her throat so that all her face +looked up at him. "If you'll still have me----" His hands on her +shoulders tightened. "Say that you still want me, Tabs." For answer his +head slowly nodded, but his eyes never left her eyes. "Tell him that I'm +engaged to you, instead." + +In the tumult of surprised desire he bent over her, but he got no +further, for a tap fell on the panel of the door and the handle turned. +He drew himself upright quickly and stepped back aloofly. "What is it?" + +"A telegram, your Lordship." Ann entered. "I told the girl to wait in +case there was an answer." + +He tore it open, glanced through it and handed it to Terry. To Ann he +said, "There won't be any answer." + +Terry read, "_Shall be delighted to have you lunch with me to-day Savoy +Hotel one o'clock. Braithwaite._" She examined the address and looked up +startled, "But it's to you. It's--it's as though he knew we were +together. What made him send it?" + +When Tabs answered there was no echo of her excitement in his voice. "I +wrote him yesterday asking him to call here. Evidently he preferred a +more public place." + +She glanced at him shrewdly. "Why did you write him? You must have done +that between leaving me and coming to our house to dine. I know it's no +good my asking you." Her last words were more of a question than an +assertion. "I can see that it's no good my asking you." "No, Terry, it's +no good. Braithwaite's past is his own secret. But I can pledge you my +word that it bears no stain." + +"Then why shouldn't he----?" She changed her question. "Shall you meet +him to-day at lunch?" + +"Yes." + +"Shall you tell him what we've----?" + +"Not all of it, Terry." + +"Why not all of it? Which part are you going to leave out?" + +He came again to where she sat and stood gazing down on her. "Terry, why +do you want me to tell him? Why can't you tell him yourself? It would be +kinder." + +"Because---- Oh, Tabs, you do want me, don't you? Because I daren't +trust myself to see him." + +"And so you want me to tell him we're engaged because you daren't trust +yourself to tell him! Isn't that it?" + +She nodded. + +"And you daren't trust yourself to tell him because the moment you saw +him you would fall again under his spell?" + +This time she didn't nod, but her eyes gave assent. + +"And what does that mean, little Terry? Whether you call it love or +fascination, it means that even though you do not see him, your heart is +his at present. It means that against your will he's infinitely more to +you than I am. It means that you only ask me to become engaged to you +in order that you may be strong to break his spell. It doesn't mean that +I will be anything more to you to-morrow than I was last night, when you +gave him your pledge." + +She tried to speak, but he halted her words. "I'm older than you are. +Have you thought of that? I'm not the man I was; I'm lame. You can like +me as a friend and believe me indispensable; but, if I were your +husband, fifteen years from now when you're only the age I am +to-day----Have you considered that? My dear, I love you so well, that +I'll never let you tie yourself to me, till you're as certain that you +can't risk meeting me without loving me as you're certain at this moment +that you daren't risk meeting this other man. When you can do that----" + +The tenderness in his eyes hurt her. "Directly I can do that, I'll tell +you, Tabs. And--and I believe I could almost tell you now." + +"If you can now," he said, "there's a test. Will you take my place at +lunch and tell Braithwaite?" + +She shrank, and tried to smile, and shook her head. + +"Then it'll be I who'll have to do it." He tried to assume a cheerful +manner. "But I can't give him your reason about being engaged to me. If +it were true, which it isn't, it wouldn't be generous. If I carry any +message, the only honorable thing for me to do is to inform him of +everything." + +"Of everything?" she questioned. + +"Yes, of everything. I must tell him where the trouble lies and give +him his chance to be frank with you. Only when that is done, shall I be +free to do my utmost to win you for myself." + +She took his hands and drew herself up to him. "Do what you like, Tabs. +As long as I know that I've not lost you," her voice became small and +almost happy, "I'm content." + +She was tiptoeing against him. The next thing he knew he was kissing her +warm red mouth. + + +III + +She was gone. He had watched her from the steps until she had reached +the end of the Square where the swirl of passing traffic had engulfed +her. At the last moment she had looked back and smiled. For some minutes +after she had vanished, he had stood there recalling the way in which +her brave little figure had tripped out of sight among the blustering +March sunshine and shadows. A child, he thought, impulsive and lacking +in perspective, with a child's alacrity for drying its tears and +believing in a future happiness. How would she regard this morning years +hence in the after-glow of experience? Would she find nothing in its +calamities but foolishness? And what relation would he himself bear to +her when she had arrived at that stoical calm? + +He reentered the house. In the room where they had been together the +fragrance of her presence still lingered. The chair was pushed back, +just as she had risen from it to lift her warm, red lips to his. How +smooth they were! Again like a child's! Everything about her was young +and undeveloped. She had kissed simply and gratefully, with none of the +blundering, sweet surrender with which a woman clings to her lover. If +she had ever kissed Braithwaite, she had not kissed him like that. + +And then Tabs was overcome with a reluctant remorse, which was tinged +with a shameful sense of triumph. She had offered him her lips in +gratitude; they had kindled in him the flames of passion. For the moment +he had devoured her with kisses--her eyes, lips, cheeks and hair. + +If he were to keep himself in hand, he must fill his days with +interests--_new_ interests. He must move among people and normalize +himself. He must fight against the melancholy of his obsession. His eyes +chanced to rest on the crumpled sheet of scented note-paper tossed into +the empty grate. Stooping, he picked it up and smoothed it out. This +problem of Maisie would at least divert him--besides, he had promised to +do what he could for Adair. He noted the Chelsea address and reread the +contents with its sly humility and hint of coquetry: "I have been given +to understand that you are exceedingly anxious to make my acquaintance. +If this is so, I shall be at home when you call to-morrow afternoon." + +She had been quite certain that he would call when she wrote those +words. They had all the assurance of one who was fully persuaded of her +own powers of charm and beauty. + +"Again, Maisie P.," he apostrophized her, "I'm bound to acknowledge that +you know more about me than I know about myself. I didn't know that I +wanted to make your acquaintance at the time when you were writing this +letter. I was quite sure that I wasn't going to call upon you when I +read it. In both cases you were the better informed, for I shall be with +you as soon as I've fulfilled my Savoy engagement." + +An hour later, as he was on his way out, he found Ann waiting for him at +the foot of the stairs. + +"I don't want to bother your Lordship." + +"You're not bothering me. What is it?" + +"I've been thinking that if I wrote the particulars down myself----" + +"The particulars! What particulars?" + +"About Braithwaite, sir. There were things you wouldn't know or might +leave out. So I thought that if I stated my case myself, it might make +things more sensible-like to your Lordship's friend at the War Office." + +"It might. Are those the particulars you have in your hand?" + +"Yes, sir. But they're kind of private. I shouldn't like them to be read +by just anybody. That's why---- Perhaps, if your Lordship was seeing +your friend----" + +"As it happens," Tabs spoke with a careless air, "I shall be lunching +with him to-day. I can deliver your letter direct." + +"Your Lordship is very kind." + +"Not in the least, Ann. And remember, whatever happens, that Braithwaite +was brave and he'd expect you to be brave. If you're not---- D'you know +what you'll do? Whether he's alive or dead, you'll let him down." + +Her head lifted proudly, despite the tears in her eyes. "No fear of +that, sir. I'll never let my man down." + +"That's the way to talk. And don't worry too much. You know the saying +about night always being blackest at the hour before the dawn? If we'd +only all believe that and cheer up----" + +He let himself out. As he walked down the Square he tried to stroll +jauntily; probably Ann was watching. + +"I could do worse than live up to that advice myself," he thought. Then, +"And so I will, by the Lord Harry." + + +IV + +As he passed through the doors into the Savoy, he consulted his watch; +he was five minutes late. He halted in the middle of the foyer, gazing +round. There was the usual collection of officers on leave or out of +hospital, British, Overseas, American, all of them out for a good time +and debonair. There were the usual rows of expectant girls, wondering +whether their men had forgotten the appointment or whether the fault was +theirs in mistaking the place of rendezvous. Here and there through the +crowd worried and assertive literary individuals wandered, searching for +invariably unpunctual publishers. As though Time pressed behind them +with his scythe, hatchet-faced journalists from Fleet Street were making +a bee-line for the restaurant. In contrast to this perfervid haste, +self-possessed young queens of the footlights lolled with their +admirers, importantly believing they were recognized. All the medley of +London as it used to be, is and will be again, was there; but nowhere +could Tabs descry a General's uniform. + +He went to the desk to enquire whether there was any message for him. At +mention of the General his enquiry was received with marked respect. +Yes, General Braithwaite lived there. No message had been left, but he +might be in his room. While they were telephoning and he was waiting, +Tabs remembered and smiled at remembering. Under quite other +circumstances, on a former occasion, he and Braithwaite had stayed there +together. The clerk interrupted his reflections. "The General's not in +his room---- Ah, here he comes, your Lordship." + +Tabs turned quickly and looked in vain at first. He did not become aware +of his host till he was standing almost at his elbow. Then he held out +his hand, "How are you, General? You must pardon me for not having +picked you out at once. Like all of us, you look different in mufti." + +"More like the old Braithwaite your Lordship used to know?" The General +smiled. "Well, I have to thank that experience for this at least--that I +know where to find the proper tailors. How about lunch? Are you ready?" + +Against a window looking out on the Embankment, one of the best tables +had been reserved--a further proof of the new esteem in which +Braithwaite was held. The head-waiter hurried up immediately to advise +what he should eat and passed on his orders to subordinates with as much +solemnity as if they had been the details for an offensive. "Yes, my +General." "No, my General." When everything had been chosen and there +was nothing to do but wait for the first dish to be served, Braithwaite +leaned across to Tabs, "Your Lordship is amused. I don't blame you." + +Tabs drew out his case and offered him a cigarette. "I'll make a bargain +with you, sir. Let's cut out the unfriendly formalities. I'll call you +Braithwaite if you'll call me Taborley." + +The General blew a puff of smoke into the air and watched it disappear +before he answered. In civilian clothes he bore a more distinct +resemblance to the man he had been; and yet the resemblance only served +to emphasize the change that had taken place in him. The old Braithwaite +had been a slight-built, gentle creature, loyal to the point of +self-effacement, soft-spoken and dependent on the appreciation of a +master for his happiness. The new Braithwaite both in body and character +had hardened. His gray eyes had concentrated into command. His +clean-shaven cheeks and small military mustache gave him an expression +which was tolerantly ironic. The moment you saw him, you knew beyond +question that he was ruthlessly aware of what he wanted out of life. He +was a sword which had lain hidden in its scabbard and was now withdrawn, +glistening, intimidating and fiercely pointed. + +Tabs compared his forceful appearance with his own, where in a mirror +their reflections sat facing each other. There was little to choose +between them in outward gentility, despite the immense disparity of +their chances. There was no fault to find; everything about Braithwaite +bespoke confidence and refinement--his neatly brushed chestnut hair, his +well-cut gray tweeds, his black, woven tie with the horse-shoe scarf-pin +of diamonds, his fine white teeth, his trim mustache. He looked a man of +iron will and unswerving decision, destined from birth to take control +of crises and to shoulder responsibilities. As a last humanizing touch, +there was a hint of cavalier devilment about him, of the gambler who was +also a sportsman. + +The puff of smoke had faded. The General's eyes came back with a twinkle +to his guest. "You're right. Between us this 'Your Lordship and General' +business would grow tiresome. I never thought the day would come when +I'd call you Taborley, however. As for myself, plain Braithwaite's a +little reminiscent---- Still, we'll consider that part of our compact +settled. And now, what?" + +"Do we need to hurry matters?" Tabs questioned. "This isn't a military +court of enquiry. It wasn't my idea to meet you as though we were +maintaining an armed neutrality. We----" + +"But aren't we?" Braithwaite interposed with an air of amused +good-humor. Then he lowered his voice, "When you parted from me I was +your valet. You didn't hear from me for the best part of four years and +believed me dead. You came back to find that I was your superior officer +and had tangled things up for you pretty badly. You've threatened me +with your knowledge of a previous love-affair and you have it in your +power to tangle up my future in return. Under the circumstances what +else is possible but an armed neutrality?" + +"Let me state the case from another and, I think, a juster angle." Tabs +paused to knock the ash from his cigarette. "Before the war you were my +valet whom I had always treated as my friend. I believe at that time, if +it had come to the show down, you were the man who was closest to my +affections and whom I trusted most in all the world. I'm trying to speak +soberly, Braithwaite, without any color of exaggeration. We'd been in +many tight corners together--perhaps the tightest was when they tried to +execute us in Mexico. Anyway, we'd always played the game by each other. +In 1914 we both joined in the ranks; in 1918 you finished up as a +General, while I was a first lieutenant. There's only one way to account +for that: up to 1914 you'd never had your chance; when your chance came, +you proved yourself the better man. In a way, though it's difficult for +me to confess it, I can understand and sympathize with Terry's +preference. Women admire bravery and merit. Ann and I admired them in +you; we knew they were there before the war made them public." + +He took a breath while he watched what effect the mention of Ann's name +had had. The General's expression from being interested and generous had +grown suddenly obstinate and set. Tabs hurried on. "So I can understand +Terry's preference. And yet, as you've owned, despite your advantages, I +hold the winning card. I can joker all your aces by telling--well, the +things to which you have referred." He leant forward across the table. +"I don't want to have to tell. To do that I should have to make myself +still more inferior to you than you have proved me to be in the hardest +of all tests. There's only one occasion that would compel----" + +"And that?" the General enquired coldly. + +Before Tabs could answer, a Major in the Guards who was passing had +halted. "Hullo, sir!" he exclaimed, addressing Braithwaite. "I was +intending to hunt you up. I've heard a rumor about your transferring to +the Regulars. Why don't you have a shot at my outfit?" + +Braithwaite introduced Lord Taborley perfunctorily, then returned to his +friend's question. "A shot at your outfit! It's too expensive. I've got +to make money. Besides, to become a Regular I'd have to sink my rank and +live on my pay at that. I can't afford it. To tell the truth, I'm +already out of the Army. I handed over the keys of my desk at the War +Office this morning. That phase is ended." + +"You did! Well, if you've got something better----" The Guardsman nodded +assent to a signaled question from a companion at another table. "Don't +lose touch with your old set, sir," he added cheerfully as he moved +away. "Send us the map-location of your next dug-out." + +The lunch arrived. Dishes were obsequiously offered for inspection and +approval. While the meal was being served, there was no opportunity for +private conversation. Tabs was pondering one fact which he had +overheard. "So, he, too, was demobbed yesterday! That's why he took his +last chance to become engaged. The glamour of a uniform---- And to-day +he's back where he started. Poor chap!" + +The over-zealous waiter had at last moved out of range. Braithwaite +lifted up his dagger gaze. "And what is that occasion--the one occasion +which would compel you to publish my past? Perhaps I can save you the +trouble of putting it into words. You mean if I dared to become engaged +to Terry Beddow? I am engaged to her. I dared last night; so I must +leave you to do your worst." + +He smiled with quiet triumph; gradually his smile faded into puzzlement. +"You don't seem surprised." + +"I'm not," said Tabs. "Why should I be? I myself supposed, that I was +engaged to her last night." + +It was Braithwaite who showed amazement. "You! Last night!" + +"Yes, I, last night." + +Braithwaite set down his knife and fork. The bleak look came into his +eyes that had given him the nickname at the Front of "Steely Jack." He +was silent for a full five seconds; then he said, "Lord Taborley, you're +a man of your word, but I find it difficult to believe that." + +Tabs' voice was both quiet and kindly when he replied, "You'll find it +difficult to believe a good many things before I've ended. Evidently +Terry never told you that for over four years she and I had had an +understanding that, when peace came, if I survived, we would be married. +Last night, while you were proposing to her, I was asking her father's +consent. While I was gaining his consent, you were being accepted." + +The blank look of astonishment which had overspread the General's face, +quickly gave way to one of generous compassion. "On my word of honor, +Lord Taborley, I never knew that. I thought--please forgive me--that you +were interfering merely out of snobbishness. I ought to have known +better. All my dealings with you should have---- I begin to understand." + +Tabs' old sense of friendship for the man--his man--was coming back. +"You begin," he said, "but you don't fully understand. You and I have to +come down to earth. Not unnaturally up till now you've chosen to treat +me as an enemy. Perhaps I was when I sent you those two letters +yesterday. But I'm not now. I, too, am learning. There was a coster who +let me off arrest. Did I tell you about him? I forget. The reason he +gave taught me a lot, 'You and me was pals out there.' And you and I +were pals out there, Braithwaite--not master and man or junior and +senior officer. It would be a burning shame if, now that the war's +ended, we should fall to squabbling among ourselves." + +"And yet the fact remains," said Braithwaite, "that I, who used to be +your servant, have cut you out of Terry. How are we going to remain pals +in a case like that?" + +Tabs flinched at the bluntness of the words, "cut you out of Terry." For +a moment he felt inclined to say right out, "You're mistaken. She's sent +me to get her promise back." Instead he said, "How are we going to +remain pals! That's what I'm here to talk about. I've made up my mind +how I'm going to act. It's about you that I'm concerned. I'm jealous for +you, Braithwaite. I'm proud of the fact that, whatever you are to-day, +you were once my man--my man in the old clan sense. I want to see you +carry yourself as bravely in your new fight as you did in the one that's +ended. I think of the two this peace fight will be the more difficult +test, especially for men like yourself. I lost caste during the war, +while for you it proved a social opportunity. Now that we're back at +peace, the process is likely to be reversed. The qualities which gave +you high rank in a world at war won't fetch the same market value. +You'll have to fight afresh--only this time it'll be against the +temptation to sink below your own high standards through bitterness. In +a General's uniform you could go anywhere. It was your passport. No one +made enquiries. Once you're demobilized, the world asks for other +credentials--credentials as to your profession, bank-account, friends, +birth. What I'm trying to say is this: there's nothing dishonorable in +your past save your own assumption that it was dishonorable. And I want +to assure you that it isn't my purpose to drag you down. I couldn't. +There's only one man who can do that--yourself. But _you_ can drag +yourself below anything that you were if you go on refusing to play +fair." + +Braithwaite's face went white beneath its tan. He fell to stroking his +mustache. "You take a lot upon yourself. It's the first time that I've +ever been accused of not playing fair." + +"But _I_ accuse you of it." Tabs spoke with an equal quietness. To any +one watching they would have appeared to be two handsome men of the +soldier type engaged in desultory conversation. "I have to accuse you of +it. I want you to glance through this before you answer me." + +He drew from his pocket and passed across the letter which Ann had given +him that morning--the letter which, to quote her words, "Might make +things seem more sensible-like to your Lordship's friend at the War +Office." It was unaddressed, but as Braithwaite's eye fell on the +sprawling handwriting of the contents, the deep flush which crept across +his face betrayed the fact that it was recognized. He commenced to read +the sheet with a studied carelessness; as he proceeded, the carelessness +gave way to a troubled frown. For some time after he had finished, he +sat motionless. When he looked up, his mood was contemptuous. "So this +is your price?" + +"No price was mentioned." + +"But it was implied. You tell me that, at the time that I was being +accepted, you yourself were hoping to be engaged to Miss Beddow; then +you hand me this letter. What do you suppose I infer? What would any man +infer? That your promise to keep my existence a secret from Ann is +conditional on the breaking of my engagement with Miss Beddow." + +"Handing you Ann's letter wouldn't do that. Your engagement with Miss +Beddow is already broken." + +Braithwaite jerked his chair back and stared. Then the audacity of such +an assertion touched his sense of humor. He fell to laughing. "That at +least is an invention." + +Tabs showed no resentment. There was something disturbingly convincing +about his self-possession. "Didn't I tell you," he asked patiently, +"that you'd find it difficult to believe a good many things before I had +ended? I had an appointment to see Miss Beddow at her father's house +this morning at eleven. Before I'd finished breakfast she was visiting +me instead. She had called to make two requests: that I would see you +to-day and get her promise back, and that I'd become engaged to her +myself." + +Braithwaite lurched forward, folding his arms on the table. His voice +was thick with passion when he spoke. "What you tell me sounds mad; but +you'd gain nothing by telling it if it were not true." + +"Nothing," Tabs confirmed. + +"No, nothing. If it weren't true, I could go to the telephone and +disprove your falsehood inside of ten minutes." + +"You could." + +"Then it is true--which means that you've ousted me. And that's why you +can afford to be so calm and Christ-like. I've been wondering how you'd +contrived this Galilean display of charity." + +"You've not heard me out." Tabs still spoke with friendliness. "While we +were together your telegram arrived and I agreed to be the bearer of her +message. But as for her second request, that I should become engaged to +her, I refused that point-blank." + +"You what?" The anger cleared from Braithwaite's face, leaving the +chalky mask of a tragic harlequin. When he spoke again it was humbly. +"You can't blame me for not believing you. You jump about. You say +several things which seem to point to a definite conclusion and then at +the last moment you change it. I don't know whether you do it to amuse +yourself at my expense or whether it's merely the way your mind works. +At any rate, it's cruel--this cat and mouse game. I wish you'd be +direct." + +"That's what I wish to be. You could help me if you'd ask questions." + +Braithwaite sighed, wearied beyond endurance. He was becoming less like +the General and more like the old dependent Braithwaite every second. +"You wanted to marry her last night, only to find she'd promised herself +to me already. Then she comes to you this morning, offering herself, and +you refuse her. That doesn't make sense. Why did you refuse her?" + +"Because if I'd taken her at her word, I shouldn't have been playing +fair." + +At the recurrence of that phrase "playing fair," a momentary annoyance +crept into Braithwaite's eyes. "I've always heard," he commenced, "that +in love and war----" + +"Everything's fair," Tabs ended his quotation. "Well, in this case, it +isn't. It was because she realized, after she'd promised herself to you, +that in love everything isn't fair, that she asked me to get her promise +back." + +"You mean as regards yourself? She'd begun to feel that she wasn't +treating you handsomely?" + +"I don't mean as regards myself. You were the cause of her change of +mind." + +"I!" Braithwaite's bewilderment made him hostile. "How could I have +caused her to change her mind? I parted with her after midnight; it must +have been shortly after nine that she was seeing you. I held no +communication with her in any shape or form during the eight or nine +hours that elapsed." + +"Nevertheless, you were the cause. She realized in the meanwhile that in +love everything isn't fair. It isn't fair to ignore a young girl's +happiness in order to win her hand. You had done that; though she has no +proofs, instinctively she feels it." + +Braithwaite shook his head and thrust himself back with the gesture of a +man whose patience is completely at an end. "I haven't the vaguest idea +what you're hinting at." + +"Then I'll be brutally explicit. You've at no time told her who you were +or where you came from before you made a name for yourself. You've +evaded all her questions. You told a palpable falsehood in her presence +when you insisted that you had never known me. You're perfectly aware +that, if you approached her father, all the facts about your past, which +you're suppressing, would most certainly come out. Your courting has +been clandestine, behind the back of her family. It seems perfectly +obvious that you're trying to lure her into a runaway match. She has +grounds for believing that you do not trust her and, because of that, +although you fascinate her, she finds it impossible to trust you in +return. She trusts you so little that she did not dare to risk facing +you and sent me in her stead. She's so sure that a marriage with you +would be unfortunate that, in order to save herself from it, she's +willing to become engaged to me, whom she loves only as a friend. You'll +wonder why I tell you all this. It's because I want her to be happy. If +you really are the man for her, she must have you. But you'll never have +the remotest chance of winning her unless you make a clean breast----" + +"If I did my chances would be at an end." + +"If you believe that," Tabs sought for the most lenient words, "you know +what you're doing. You'd despise to cheat at cards, but you don't mind +cheating the woman whom you profess to love best.--And then there's +Ann." + +"I'd rather not discuss Ann." The abrupt pain in Braithwaite's tone +betrayed the grumbling ache of an old wound. "I think even you will +grant that there are some things in a man's heart which are privately +sacred. Ann lies entirely outside the bounds of all justifiable +interference on your part." + +It took an effort for Tabs to bring himself to break down the barrier of +reticence which this depth of feeling had imposed. "I'm sorry, General, +but I can't agree with you." He waited for the expected protest. When it +did not come, he carried on reluctantly, "I have a high regard for Ann. +She's one of my household and that makes me responsible for her to an +extent. I can't allow her to be tortured any longer with suspense--she's +had more than three years of this horrid nightmare, hovering between +hope and dread. Every day of the three years has been unnecessary. +Whether you break or keep your promise to her is your concern. Whether +she takes action against you when she knows the truth, is hers. But she +has the right to know. To see that she knows comes within the bounds of +any decent man's justifiable interference. One of us must tell her; the +news would come with less grace from myself. But for you to wriggle out +of your dilemma with silence, while she goes on breaking her heart, is +cowardly--just as cowardly as if you'd deserted in the face of the +enemy. I've no doubt you've sentenced more than one poor wretch to be +shot at sunrise for doing that." + +Tabs pulled out his watch. He had said everything. So far as he was +concerned the conversation was at an end. It was nearly three o'clock. +Time had traveled quickly. He was surprised at the lateness of the hour. +Now that his intentness was relaxed, he let his gaze wander. The room +was nearly empty. Most of the gay little ladies who had chattered across +the tables to their recently recovered lovers or husbands, had tripped +away to continue their spree of celebration at a matinee or in an orgy +of shopping. Those who were left were putting on their wraps or sipping +the last of their coffee under the reproachful eyes of waiters. Across +the window in a brown-gray streak flowed the wind-flecked highway of the +Thames. + +Braithwaite beckoned for his bill. After the humiliation of what had +been said it irked Tabs to have to see him pay it. The trend of the +conversation had helped to strip him of the arrogance of his military +honors. The mercenary subserviency of the man who handed him his +account, seemed to arouse him to the landslide that had taken place in +his self-esteem. He made a conscious effort to pull himself together. +While he waited for his change, he broke the silence. + +"I believe you meant well by coming here. It would be foolish for me to +pretend that I'm altogether grateful--grateful for your way of +expressing most of the things that we've discussed together. At the same +time, Lord Taborley, I owe you an apology if at any point I've misjudged +your intentions. As regards Ann, you err in justice when you hold me +accountable for all the causes of her tragedy. Both she and I, and Miss +Beddow for the matter of that, are the victims of circumstances. It's +scarcely my fault that I've outgrown Ann; I'm no more to blame for that +than Terry is for having fallen in love with a man who was your servant. +_I_ didn't make the war. _I_ didn't promote myself from a valet to a +General. _I_ didn't even consciously allure Terry. She fascinates me as +much as I fascinate her: I fought against her fascination at first.--But +to get back to Ann, I let her slip out of my life because I wanted to +spare her. I thought it would be easier for her to believe me dead than +to be told that she was--was discarded. I couldn't be expected to +foresee that she would display this awkward loyalty of hoping. I didn't +know what had happened to her. She's a good-looking girl; I'd pictured +her as married to a man of her own class, until you flung this +bombshell at me. I'm not callous. Don't misapprehend me. I can still +think of her with tenderness. But as for ever treating her again as my +equal---- It would be as impossible for me to resume the old relations +with her as it would be for your Lordship to commence them." He waited +for some word of criticism or encouragement. When Tabs only nodded +non-committally, he proceeded more slowly. "I don't know what I'm going +to do. I'm fully aware, now that the war is ended, that as a has-been +General who rose from the ranks, I have no marketable value. I have no +specialized training to offer to a commercial world which calls for +experts. The only knowledge that I have to sell is the old knowledge +that you used to purchase. My house of cards has collapsed. To be +unwisely frank, my financial resources are limited to little more than +my war-gratuity." + +"And yet you're anxious to marry Terry," Tabs suggested; "to marry her +without letting her know about any of these handicaps of which she would +have to share the penalty." + +Braithwaite's head went up with a soldierly jerk. The bleak look came +into his eyes. He was "Steely Jack" at that moment. "I have the +confidence to believe," he said proudly, "that I shall go as far in +peace as I did in war. Never to own that you're beaten, never to squeal +when you're hurt, never to retreat from a position when once it has been +captured must count back here for as much as it did out there. In France +I had the reputation for never losing an inch of trench. I don't intend +to lose an inch of trench now. My back is to the wall. For the present +I can't afford to do anything gratuitously charitable; by the smallest +waste of energy I may defeat myself. To hold any correspondence with Ann +at this moment might mean the slamming in my own face of every door of +opportunity. I'll do my stretcher-bearing when I've won; not a second +before." + +Against his will, while he listened, the unscrupulous valor of the man +stirred Tabs to admiration. Only the after-event could prove whether +this verbal display of fireworks was only bombast. "And so that's your +ultimatum?" he asked with disquieting sanity. + +"Yes, if that's what you call it." + +The waiter had returned with the receipted bill. Braithwaite was picking +up the change. Not looking at Tabs he said, "A few minutes ago you were +consulting your watch. I believe you have an engagement." + +"I have. But if we can arrive at any more definite conclusion by talking +longer, I'll skip it. It's of no importance." + +Braithwaite glanced up. "Not to you, perhaps; but it may be to her." + +With that he commenced to lead the way out, choosing a winding path +through the maze of tables. Not until they were traversing the great +gold and crimson lounge, with its ornate furnishings, did Tabs catch up +with him to ask his question. "How did you know about my engagement and +whether it was important or not?" + +Braithwaite answered carelessly, "It's with Maisie, isn't it? I heard +Terry suggest to her that she should make it. She's a nice little woman. +I shouldn't like to be the cause of her disappointment. She was looking +forward----" The rest was lost as a flunkey requested the registered +number of whatever Tabs had left in the cloak-room. + +While they waited for the hat and cane to be produced, Tabs made a last +attempt to persuade the General to commit himself to some promised +course of action. "No one would be more pleased to see you succeed than +myself. I'm not trying to hamper you. Neither is Terry; but she insists +that unless things are to terminate between you, she must know the +truth. Frankness with Terry necessitates frankness with Ann. You'll +never succeed, however great your courage, unless you start with your +honor solvent. Ann's beneath you, you say--that's why you've outgrown +her. It's not my business to dispute the fact. I didn't want to +introduce the class view of things; but, by the same showing, you're +beneath Terry. She's young to-day: through a lifetime she might outgrow +_you_. She's as much your social superior as you claim to be Ann's. +You've discarded Ann on the ground of inequality of rank. In your case +Terry's family have a perfect right to raise the same objection." + +"Not at all." The answer came like the crack of a whip. Braithwaite drew +himself up with the pride of one who had moved men like pawns across the +checker-board of life and death. "The two cases afford no parallel. Ann +and Terry have remained in the social stations to which they were born, +while I--I stand outside all such ready-made, rule of thumb +classifications. By sheer impetus of personality I have lifted myself +out of the rut, so that not even you, with all your omniscience, dare +prophesy how far I am going or where I shall end." + +It was plain that further talk would be useless. "I'm afraid I must be +going," Tabs said. "I wish you very good luck. I hope we part friends. +And of course you understand that I now consider myself entirely free to +do my utmost to win Terry for myself." + +He extended his hand. Braithwaite made no motion to take it. He held +himself erect as if prepared for an affront. His tones were icy when he +spoke. "Before I shake hands with you, Lord Taborley, I have to know +what you mean by your utmost. With so many playing-cards out against me, +I don't stand the ghost of a show unless---- Perhaps I have no right to +expect it; I never asked quarter from any man. I was going to say, +unless you intend to be gallant----" + +Tabs pocketed his hand and turned to limp into the sunlit thunder of the +Strand. "The merciful receive mercy, General. Perhaps we shall shake +hands some other day. How gallant I am depends entirely upon yourself." + + +V + +He emerged into the swollen thoroughfare, where the traffic roared and +jostled like a torrent through a mountain gorge towards the broader +freedom of Trafalgar Square. He turned westward, walking swiftly for +the first hundred yards, rather fearing that he might be followed. Then +he slowed down; swift walking made his limp too painfully obvious. + +He was dissatisfied with both himself and Braithwaite. He felt as though +he had gone to meet some one in a wood and had heard only the muttering +of a voice and the rustle of retreating footsteps. "If I had only seen +his face," he thought. + +In recalling Braithwaite, he found himself picturing two persons, of +both of whom he had had separate and distinct glimpses: the one the +loyal man, who in years gone by had served him faithfully and shared so +many of his adventures; the other the arrogant, red-tabbed superior, who +had stolen his happiness without warning. It was impossible to resolve +the two into one. The first he still regarded with affection. The +second---- He had never allowed himself to hate any one. Hatred he held +to be back of breeding--a weak man's subterfuge for acknowledging +self-distrust. Because he had come so near to hating, he accused himself +of censoriousness. "If I had only seen his face--the real man beneath +the pretense--I might have understood and helped him," he muttered. + +[Illustration: _Tabs extended his hand. Braithwaite made no motion to +take it._] + +And now he was going to a fresh encounter where even more sympathy would +be required. It would be easy to condemn Maisie P. Lockwood. On a +superficial judgment she merited nothing else. Three husbands in four +and a half years, plus a risky flirtation with a married man were not +the credentials of an honorable character. If he followed the advice +of Sir Tobias Beddow, he would seek to assess her price at once. But he +had never been accustomed to regard women in that light--as a sex whose +virtue could be inflated or depressed by the increase or shrinkage of a +balance at the bank. Actually he knew very little about women; riding as +a knight-errant, with the wonder in his eyes of the mystery that might +surprise him round the luck of any corner, he had never given himself +much time to learn. His ideas about women were Tennysonian. He liked to +believe that they were free from temptations, more true in their +emotions, more generous in their affections, more unerring and unstained +than men. He extended to them all the reverent tenderness with which he +regarded his mothers memory. In this he saw nothing quixotic; to him the +most hoydenish girl was a potential mother, whose body possessed a +sacredness quite apart from herself as a slim, adventurous ark which +would bear the future of the race across the deluge of the ages. He +knew, as a matter of fact, that all women were invariably neither saints +nor angels; but he clung to his chivalrous superstition as a man prays, +though he receives no answers to his prayers. To the recorded cynicism +of experimenters in temptation he flung back the challenge of a sadder +cynic, "We're all in the gutter; but some of us are looking at the +stars." + +So in this matter of Maisie, he argued, she couldn't be as shallow as +her history would indicate. She was Terry's friend; that, in itself, was +a proof of goodness. Terry had been so anxious for him to meet and +comprehend her that she had gone behind his back to prompt the +appointment. Well, he would make a better job of this second interview +than he had of the one that was just ended. He must approach it, at any +rate, without prejudice. + +While thinking these thoughts he reached Charing Cross. Already he was +weary with so small an exertion. He halted, debating whether he should +struggle further. Then he became aware of wounded Tommies, chiefly +Overseas troops, Canadians and Australians, who from their first landing +in England had chosen this quarter of a mile as their happy +hunting-ground. They stood propped up against the pavement; they sat +among the pigeons on the parapets of Trafalgar Square. They were +laughing and chaffing, those one-legged, one-armed, derelict crusaders +in their atrocious hospital uniforms. They were thousands of miles from +their one and only woman; but their drawn faces grinned cheerfully and +their jaws were squared in the old, invincible, obstinate determination +never to admit they were down-hearted. The sight of them filled him with +strength. Though he saw them only fugitively through gaps in the tide of +traffic, he felt their companionship. He would always feel it--the fine, +shared courage of men out of sight, who had adventured for an ideal as +his companions. + +He crossed the top of Whitehall, passed beneath the Admiralty Arch and +entered the garnished, graveled, tree-bordered spaciousness of the Mall. +His old sense returned--the confidence which the Mall always gave to +him--of Empire and world-wideness. As he strolled along, he noticed a +board which informed the public that, by following a certain path, one +would arrive at the Passport Office. Hidden in the greenness, set down +in the bed of an ornamental lake which had been drained when the terror +of air raids had threatened, he made out a low-built, sprawling shed. It +was like a glimpse of romance. The path which led to its doorway was the +first few hundred yards along the road that ran to Rio, Fiji and Tibet. +One had but to enter and the journey was commenced. The sight reminded +him of something which he had forgotten; that, though every other +delight failed, he still possessed the wideness of the world. He could +sail away. There were islands of the sea--Stevenson's Samoa, Conrad's +Malay Archipelago. If people proved disappointing, there were always the +painted solitudes which human disillusions had not withered and could +not defile. It was a loophole worth remembering. + +Outside Buckingham Palace he made an unpremeditated surrender. A taxi +was prowling along by the curb as slowly as regulations allowed. He +raised his stick automatically as he caught the driver's eye. When the +cab had halted, again he procrastinated with the handle of the door in +his hand. + +"Where to?" the driver enquired for the second time. + +"To Brompton Square," he ordered uncertainly. + +The cab was already moving when he changed his mind. Standing up and +leaning out of the window, "No. To Chelsea," he shouted above the +throbbing of the engine. Then drawing out Maisie's crumpled letter, he +read from it the address. + + + + +CHAPTER THE FOURTH + +THE COMPLICATIONS OF MAISIE + + +I + +Tabs was not very familiar with Chelsea. He had seen it from the river a +score of times, red-walled, umbrageous and old-fashioned. But of the +district itself he knew next to nothing, save that up to the war it had +been the favorite roosting-place of short-haired women and long-haired +men. He wondered whether Maisie's hair was short. He decided in the +negative. To have attracted three husbands in four and a half years she +must be outwardly conventional. An unconventional woman might persuade +one man to marry her, but not three in such rapid succession. She +probably belonged to the apparently harmless, sympathetic, sisterly, +domestic type. And yet she must be something more than conventional; +millions of merely conventional women lacked the prowess to anchor only +one man in all the years of their life, whereas, judging by the Adair +incident, Maisie had not yet completed her list of husbands. There was +an undefined danger in coming into contact with such a woman, which lent +this expedition to Chelsea an atmosphere of adventure. + +Did she know for what purpose he was visiting her? If she did, she was a +bold woman--a strategist. Her position was strengthened by his coming to +her in the guise of an invited guest. Then he remembered that he had +made a bargain with himself to meet her with a mind unclouded by +prejudice. + +He had been traveling mean thoroughfares, when suddenly the cab swung +into an old-world street of dignified respectability and turned again +abruptly into a tiny quadrangle of color-washed, stucco-fronted, +timbered houses. In the center was a lawn, surrounded with white posts +between which black painted chains hung in loops; the apparent intention +was to create the illusion of a village-green. Tabs entered instantly +into the spirit of the game--the littleness and childishness of the +attempt at quaintness. He liked the bijou privacy of the Court, its +greenness and tidiness, and the absurdity of the narrow windows which +glinted at him like spectacles. But there was something that he missed. + +The driver had climbed down and was opening the door. "Mulberry Tree +Court, mister. I forget which number you told me; but there ain't so +much of it that you're likely to lose yourself." + +"But where's the mulberry tree?" Tabs asked. There was in his voice the +discontent of a disappointed child. + +"There never was no mulberry tree," the man replied in all seriousness. + +"Well, if there isn't a mulberry tree," Tabs laughed, "I suppose we must +make shift to do without it." + +The man frowned and justified himself grumblingly. "It ain't my bloomin' +fault. I've done nothin' with yer bloomin' tree." + +"I suppose not," said Tabs as if the matter were still in doubt. + +Feeling in his pocket he paid what was owing and watched the cab move +off. Even at this last moment he was half-minded to retreat. What +business was it of his to interfere in another man's love-affair? He +looked stealthily round the Court to see if eyes were watching. All the +windows were empty; nothing stirred. The fact that he was not watched +reassured him. He glanced at the number on the nearest door, discovered +in which direction the numbers ran and decided that his must be the +house conspicuous for its marigold-tinted curtains, standing retiringly +in the farthest corner. + +Once again he hesitated. Should he or should he not? The old +nursery-rhyme came wandering into his head with its innocent lilt of +jolliness: + + "Here we go round the mulberry-bush, + The mulberry-bush, the mulberry-bush; + Here we go round the mulberry-bush, + So early in the morning." + +"And so we do," he murmured. "Let's take a chance." + + +II + +The door--an apple-green door--was opened by a maid as trim as Ann. Was +Mrs. Lockwood in? She would enquire. "And your name, please, sir?--Lord +Taborley! Certainly." + +She left him waiting in the hall, while she went to make her fictional +enquiries. He was as sure that they were fictional as if he had glanced +into the room upstairs where Maisie was making a last anxious inspection +before her mirror. So the pretense was to be that he had called casually +and had scarcely been expected. + +He tried to learn something of Maisie from the appearance of her hall. +It was speckless. Everything in it shone with intense cleanliness and +polish. He had noticed the same gleam about the windows, brasses and +very doorstep before he had entered. He had noticed it again about the +maid who had admitted him. It sent Maisie up very much in his +estimation. It almost explained to him how she had managed to get three +husbands. Men never know why they fall in love with a woman; more often +than not they mistake tidiness for beauty. "If you can't be beautiful, +be clean," Maisie's hall seemed to say; "if you can be both, you're +invincible." Maisie was invincible, as her conquests proved. This first +glimpse of her belongings showed that she loved cleanliness. By a jump +in his logic Tabs began to suspect that she must be beautiful. + +He had pursued his observations thus far, when he heard a door +discreetly closed overhead and the starchy rustling of the maid +returning. + +"If your Lordship will step into the drawing-room, Madam will be down in +a moment." + +He found himself in a long artistic room, feminine to a degree, +exquisitely restful and yet broad-minded with signs of selection and +travel. It was furnished according to no particular period. There was +an Italian chest of drawers inlaid with ivory, a Dutch marquetry +secretaire, some Louis XVIth chairs, a mirror of old Venetian glass, +bronzes, snuff-boxes, specimens of china, odd bits of beaten silver, +knick-knacks of all sorts, lying scattered about with apparent +carelessness. A fire was burning in the grate. Tea was set out on a +table beside a companionable couch. Through French windows the smallest +of gardens shone bravely, a-blow with bulb flowers planted in crevices +of a rockery, at the foot of which lay an oval pond and a silent +fountain. As though to emphasize the game of littleness, a toy-boat +floated on the pond's surface. + +"Not the woman I had imagined," was his unspoken thought; "not the wily +adventuress! But if she's not, then what----" + +In an attempt to satisfy his curiosity, he commenced to inspect the room +in detail. The first thing he discovered was that all the silver frames, +which stood about, contained photographs of the same man. It struck him +as an odd exhibition of faithfulness on the part of a woman who had had +so many husbands. He counted the photographs; there were no less than +five of them, recording the same face from varying angles. + +"Which of them, is he," he asked himself, "Pollock, Gervis, or Lockwood? +But he mayn't be any of them. Perhaps he's a possible fourth--the +latest. If so, here's hoping, for he shuts out Adair." + +He turned towards the couch, intending to sit down. As he turned, his +gaze encountered an oil-painting hanging above the mantelpiece. + +"By George! How did I manage to miss that?" + +He stared at it with intense interest--almost with a sense of shock. +Somewhere--he could not determine where--he had seen that face before. + +The picture was a half-length portrait of a woman. There was something +extraordinarily queenly and at the same time patient in her attitude. +Her hands, which were out of sight, seemed to be folded. She was seated, +leaning forward; her head was turned towards the right, so that her face +appeared in profile. She was in extremely low evening-dress of an +aquamarine shade, flowered with gold. Her shoulders were sickle-shaped +and gleamed like the half-crescent of a young moon. From her throat, +which was full and white, hung a splendid string of tan-colored pearls. +But it was the slope of her jaw, the way her ears set back, and the +rounded strength of her head that gave to her that peculiarly alert +beauty. Her dark hair was drawn from off her forehead, making clear in +her features an expression of calm challenge. She was a woman who had +lived and not always happily. Her calmness was the quiet of almost +painful self-control. And her age---- With her atmosphere of experience, +it was certainly over thirty. She was not the woman to put back the +hands of time for any man. + +"It can't be of Maisie," he thought, and yet he hoped. "But it can't be +of her," he insisted. "This woman is remote and uncapturable. She's done +with passion. She's tasted life to the full and the taste was bitter. +She has nothing left but her unquenchable pride, with which she tortures +herself: her pride not to submit, not to cry out, to stand always at +bay. That's all she has, unless----" And then, speaking aloud in his +effort to remember, "I know her. I'm positive. And yet----" + +The door behind him opened. "This is nice of you, Lord Taborley.--Ah, +you were looking at Di! Most men do that when they visit me. I ought to +be jealous. But a word of warning; looking is as far as any of them +get." + +Tabs found himself shaking hands with a woman who shared the features of +the woman in the portrait, but who differed from her in that she was +fair, lacked her alluring remoteness and had much more of youth to her +credit. Whereas the woman in the portrait looked uncapturable, Maisie's +charm lay in her accessibility--the genial promise she held out of being +willing and even eager to surrender. Her every tone and gesture +proclaimed her anxiety to find this world a pleasant place--her +determination to make it pleasant and to be gay under every +circumstance. + +She was as little, flawless and gleaming as her house. More than half +her good looks were due to the immaculate care which she bestowed on her +body--the whiteness of her teeth, the fineness of her well-kept hands, +the brilliant clearness of her complexion, the wavy smoothness of her +abundant flaxen hair which had been brushed and brushed until it shone +and glinted like raw gold in sunshine. She would have looked almost too +perfect to be genuine, had it not been for her vivid health. She was so +dainty in her fragility that one longed and yet scarcely dared to touch +her. + +The moment she had spoken Tabs had recognized that nothing that she had +done or might do could obscure her atmosphere of breeding. He had met +men like that, whose sense of race, even when they were at the lowest +depths, had kept them superior to their environment. A pale woman of +spun silk and gossamer, with cornflower eyes and lips like parted +poppy-petals! This woman could be kind to the point of folly--so kind +that her folly would appear almost virtue. She was a woman who, though +she might love too often, would love so much that to her much would +always be forgiven. + +"I must apologize," Tabs spoke gently, "for having been found staring at +your picture." + +He did not know it, but men always spoke gently to Maisie. It was her +air of trust and helplessness that did it, her tender trick of creating +in each man the belief that she relied peculiarly on him for +protection--all of which was totally at variance with the masterly +efficiency with which she ran both herself and her house. + +"I was staring at your picture," Tabs continued, "because I thought I +recognized----" + +"I daresay you did," Maisie interrupted. "Though you may not have met +her, her face is forever in the papers. Among the family she's known as +the Princess Czarina Bolsheviki----" + +"She looks it. But is she a princess?" + +Maisie laughed. "Not yet, but it won't be her fault if she isn't. It'll +have to be a prince next time. If she marries again, she'll stoop to +nothing less. Look at the way she carries her head; she almost feels the +weight of her coronet already. But she says she's had enough of +marriage. We've all said that. Poor dear Di, she misses a lot of fun by +her exclusiveness. If I only had half her wealth----" + +She evidently wanted Tabs to ask her what she would do with it. Her eyes +grew round with spendthrift promises of jolliness, if ever such wealth +should come within reach of her tiny, managing hands. She looked as +mischievously covetous as a magpie while she waited for him to put the +obvious question. + +But Tabs wasn't interested in the obvious. He stuck to his enquiry. +"What you've told me doesn't help me to recall her," he said. "Who is +she? It's most annoying to recognize a face and not to be able to place +it against any background." + +Maisie pretended to pout. "You're like all the rest of them; you come to +see me and do nothing but talk of her. I'd have hidden her in the attic +long ago, only she's by Sargent. She's too beautiful for hiding, and +then no one can afford to hide her Sargent under a bushel in these hard +times." + +"And still you've not told me," Tabs reproached her. + + +III + +"Wouldn't we be more comfortable sitting down?" Maisie slid between the +couch and the tea-table, making herself comfortable against a pile of +cushions. When Tabs looked round for a seat, he discovered the strategy +of the arrangement of the furniture. The nearest available chair to +Maisie was at least four yards away; to have selected it would have been +to have isolated himself. He would have had to have hailed her +ridiculously across the room's breadth. It was plainly intended that he +should challenge fate and share the couch, just as Pollock, Gervis, +Lockwood, Adair and so many others had done before him. + +All this friendliness would make it a little difficult for him presently +when he broached the subject of Adair. He had an uneasy feeling that Sir +Tobias wouldn't approve of this way of conducting his mission. It was +one thing to fly the white flag of truce while you parleyed with the +enemy; it was quite another to share the same couch with her in a cozy +room, where there were only the two of you and the jumping flames of the +fire in the grate made the silver on the small round table glow red. +When they weren't talking there was no sound. None of the clamor of +London reached them. They might have been in a cave, far removed from +everything that disturbed. And, indeed, the little piled-up rockery +outside the windows, with the spring flowers blowing and the baby lake, +with the toy-boat drifting on its quiet surface, rather created the +illusion that this was a cave. + +A restful lethargy of kindness was creeping over him. He didn't want to +be at enmity with anybody, least of all with this dainty sprite of a +woman with the cornflower eyes and the flaxen hair. He no longer +wondered that three men in succession, weary of the mud of fighting, had +come to her for rest. He could even comprehend Adair's treachery, if it +had gone so far as treachery. Adair had found his wife fretful--she had +always been crying and hanging round his neck. Here he had found +companionship, secret laughter and forgetfulness. The world owed any +woman a large debt of liberty who could give men that. Maisie was the +kind of woman who could bury twenty husbands and go out next morning to +meet the twenty-first. What was far more amazing, she could do it +without frivolity or loss of self-respect. She lived a day at a time. +She made you feel, the moment you met her, that that was the only +tolerable way of living. The excuse for her philosophy was its success. +She was an expert in happiness--so expert that she could communicate her +secret without waste of words. Probably for most men words were not +necessary; for them their happiness was herself. + +From her end of the couch Maisie smiled at Tabs dreamily. "You're +persistent when you want anything. I suppose you always get your +desires?" + +"The little things, yes," he replied. "But the big things--they evade +me." + +"You mean Terry." + +She said it without change of tone or expression, with the same happy +smile curling up the corners of her uncruel mouth. It was disconcerting +to have his private humiliations referred to so frankly, as though they +were fitting subjects for casual conversation. But, after all, he +reminded himself, his business there was to discuss her equally private +affairs. He was hardly in a position to resent anything she might say. +It was a duel, and she had drawn first blood. He was quick to see that +her purpose in introducing Terry was to gain an advantage while she +postponed the inevitable discussion of Adair. + +She didn't give him a chance to reply. "I know all about you and Terry," +she continued, "and about Braithwaite, too, for the matter of that. +Perhaps why Terry evades you is because she isn't one of your really big +things. You may have mistaken her for a big thing. If she is one of your +truly big things, you'll get her. You're one of the few men who get all +that they desire." + +It was possible that she was trying to flatter him; nevertheless, +against his will, the certainty of her way of talking impressed him. +"What makes you think that I get everything that I desire?" + +She laughed and snuggled closer into the cushions. "I can't put it into +words. I just know by looking at you. You have the air." + +"Then what makes you say that Terry may not be one of my big things?" + +She glanced up at him amused. "I almost made you angry when I said +that.--Do you really want to know? I said it because I don't think that +she is one of your big things and, what's more, you don't think that she +is either. Now I _have_ made you angry---- But you don't--not the sane +you, who was and is and will be to-morrow--the you who'll outlive this +disappointment." + +He was at one and the same time intrigued and offended by the turn the +conversation had taken. His memory groped back to the first conception +he had had of this woman--the woman who tricked married men, who used +scented note-paper, who interpreted thoughts before they were uttered +and forestalled actions before they had been planned--the woman whom he +had been instructed to buy off with a price. What was he doing +discussing his love-affair with such as her? + +His voice was chilling when he spoke. "It's very good of you to take +such an interest in me. I ought to be gratified that you should think +you know so much about me, and after so short an acquaintance--so very +much more than I know about myself." + +"But I don't think; I do know far more at this moment than you know +about yourself." Her tones were calm and lazy, unembarrassed and +pleasant. The red glow of the fire glinting on the silver tea-service +seemed the reflection of her cheerfulness. + +"If you're so certain that you know, you might tell me," he said +stiffly. + +"I know---- Do you mind if I smoke?" She leant forward while he held a +match to her cigarette. "I know that you're an intensely lonely man. All +men have to be lonely till they're thirty if they're going to get +anywhere. They have no time to spare. You've had no time to spare for +women--that's why you don't understand them. Women were for you a treat +in store, until the war broke. Then suddenly you discovered that you had +missed the most precious thing in life. You hadn't the time to be wise +in your choice, so you turned to some one young and accessible. Her +youth seemed to symbolize all that you coveted at the moment; it +symbolized going on forever. You weren't really in love with her as an +individual; you were in love with the thought of love and youth. You +won't believe it, but almost any young girl who was beautiful and +willing would have served your purpose. During the terrible years you've +clothed her with your own idealism. You've told yourself that it was for +her that you were fighting. You've created in your heart a person she +never was and hasn't it in her to become. You've thought of her as a +second you, with _your_ sense of honor, _your_ passion for +unselfishness, _your_ patience and experience gained through suffering. +The ideal you've set up for her is contradictory and impossible. Youth +isn't considerate, experienced, unselfish, patient. For those qualities +you have to go to the middle years. I know what I'm talking about, for +I've had three soldier husbands." She said it without self-reproach or +self-glory--as though it were the sort of thing that might happen to any +woman. "You've been finding out the kind of girl she really is since +your return--the kind of girl who prefers General Braithwaite to +yourself and can't discriminate between the temporary and the permanent. +You're disappointed in her. You've discovered already that she isn't the +woman you thought you were loving. You're now only pretending that you +still care for her because life would be too empty without your dream +and because the right woman, for whom you've already renewed your +search, hasn't yet turned up. Somewhere inside you at this moment your +sane self is endorsing every word that I'm saying as true." + +"That's not so." His contradiction was spoken fiercely. + +"But it is so," the sweet voice persisted. "You yourself have tacitly +owned it." + +"How?" + +There was the sharpness of alarm in his way of asking. Her assurance had +startled him out of his brief anger. + +She laughed softly. "I think we might have tea; it'll restore our +serenity. There's nothing like employing your hands when you want to +keep from losing your temper. A woman learns that, even when she's only +been married once. When she's been married three times," the cornflower +eyes became suddenly innocent, "she knows everything.--Will you touch +the bell? It'll save me getting up.--How, you ask. How do I know that +you've already renewed your searching? To a man who's as head over heels +in love as you profess to be all women, except the one woman, however +beautiful, ought to be hanks of hair and bags of bones. I read your +thoughts when I caught you gazing at my sister's portrait. You were +saying to yourself, 'What if she's the woman!' And you're even +sufficiently detached in your affections to acknowledge attraction in a +horrid little pestering, too-much-married person like myself." + + +IV + +It was lucky that the maid selected that moment for answering the bell. +Things were getting uncomfortably personal. Tabs had the idea that +Maisie had been talking against time till she should hear the footsteps +of her reenforcements. As the maid entered, she turned towards her with +the brightness of relief. + +"That's splendid of you, Porter. You guessed what we wanted.--Porter +always guesses what I want, Lord Taborley; she's my second self. And +Porter can tell your fortune from the cards--can't you, Porter? Only she +never reads the cards on a Sunday; she says it brings bad luck. If you +come here often, you must try her.--You might take that dish from +her.--Thanks awfully. There's room for it here on this corner of the +tray." + +Tabs smiled inwardly while he did his awkward best to make himself +useful. He might know very little about women, but he knew intuitively +quite a lot about this particular woman. He knew that Porter had guessed +nothing, because nothing had been left to chance. He knew it as surely +as he had known what Maisie had been doing in front of her mirror while +he had been kept waiting. He knew that long before his arrival every +detail of his reception had been prepared and planned, and that Porter +had been instructed. The whole morning had been spent in dusting, +sweeping, polishing and making ready the various dishes of dainty cakes +and neatly-cut sandwiches which were being spread before him. He was +certain that the kindly patronage of Maisie's way of addressing Porter +was another part of the conspiracy. + +Curiously enough it was Porter who made him like and trust her more than +he had done as yet. Porter's eyes, when they rested on her mistress, +embraced her with a slavish worship; when they rested on him, they +warned and dared him. He had the feeling that the man who made Maisie +cry was likely to feel a knife in his back. Maisie must be good to be +able to call forth such fanatical loyalty from a humble woman. He began +to be infected by this atmosphere of idolatry. And yet---- + +What was Maisie's object in belittling his love for Terry? What did she +hope to gain by it? He hardly dared allow himself to suspect; thinking +in her presence was like speaking aloud. She heard unspoken words as +plainly as those that were uttered. But the suspicion would not be +suppressed. Had she formed the audacious plan of winning him for +herself? And this despite her three previous marriages, despite her +knowledge of why he had visited her, despite his knowledge of Adair! + +Quick as a flash her eyes turned on him with a scarcely perceptible +shake of her head. The door clicked discreetly as Porter left them. It +was like clearing a ring for the second round. The dangerous intimacy, +half tender, half inimical, returned. + +"There's no harm in being pleasant," her voice was musical and pleading, +"however unpleasant the circumstances which have thrown us together. +Taking tea with me doesn't set up any social obligation. You won't have +to know me again or anything like that. Now that we understand each +other---- How do you like your tea? Is it two lumps?" + +With the tongs poised ready to pounce, she waited for him to tell her. +But he didn't tell her; he smiled inscrutably. He wasn't sure at what +he was smiling. Perhaps it was that he was happy--happy in a +worldly-wise fashion that he had never been with Terry. He could say +anything to this woman and it wouldn't shock her--there was comfort in +that. + +But she had scared up a doubt in his mind that he might have mistaken +his kingdom. Perhaps the recovery of youth wasn't everything. There were +things very precious in themselves, which were well lost under certain +circumstances. Maisie's youth, for instance. She was far more enchanting +now than she could ever have been as a girl. In losing her youth she had +gained in sympathy; it was that that made her understand him so well. In +a wife you wanted more than youth--the knowledge of a companion. It +began to dawn on him that there might be truth in what she had said. +Perhaps once again she had known him better than he knew himself. He had +been with her less than an hour. He didn't completely trust her, and yet +here was this astounding fact: by reason of her experience there were +things he could say to her that he would never dream of saying to the +girl whom he believed he loved best. And Adair, he, too---- + +"You hadn't expected that things would be like this," she was saying, +"just you and I, sitting like old friends and drinking tea together. +You'd nerved yourself up for a vulgar row. I know---- Well, since you +won't tell me how many lumps, I'll give you two." + +As he bent forward to receive the cup, their hands touched. The contact +was electric. A rush of excited vitality seemed to pour into his body +from hers. The touch was only for a second, but it left him startled and +stark of pretenses. When he sought her eyes, they were calm as ever. +"You're a most bewildering woman--the most bewildering I ever met," he +confessed. + +"Except my sister," she corrected. + +He glanced up at the portrait and back to her, comparing the features. +"Yes, I see it now. She is your sister. I ought to have guessed. But I +haven't met her; so I don't except her." + +Maisie busied herself with passing the dishes. She had a way of making +everything appear conventional by the unruffled quiet with which she +accepted it. At the back of her mind she seemed to be smiling at the +domestic scene she had achieved with this man, who should have been her +enemy. + +"No, you haven't met her," she assented. "But until you've met her, you +won't rest; and after you've met her, you won't rest either.--And so you +think I'm bewildering! You thought something else, which you didn't have +the courage to put into words. Bewildering and dangerous--the most +dangerous woman you'd ever met--that was what you meant." + +He smiled with a shade of embarrassment. "I might have called you the +most disconcerting woman; you're all of that. No man of sense, who +valued his peace of mind, would tell any woman she was dangerous." + +"I don't see why. Why shouldn't he? Do tell me. I shan't be offended." +She leant forward, absorbing him with her childish eyes, her lips +parted with expectancy. + +"Because----" Tabs checked himself while he studied the tantalizing +innocence of her expression. He felt certain that he was going to say +something irresistibly unwise. To gain time he looked away and commenced +aimlessly stirring his cup. "Well, if you must have it, because to tell +a woman that would be to tempt her to be dangerous." + +"But I love to be tempted," she said eagerly; "temptation is the yeast +of life." And then in a whisper, speaking less to him than to herself, +"A woman knows that she's old when temptation ends." + +Like ripples from a stone flung into water the poignancy of what she had +implied rather than uttered, spread away with a commotion which grew +ever fainter. They sat without change of posture at either end of the +couch, she bending towards him, he gazing down into his cup as though by +staring into it he could retain his grip on the conventions. There was +no sound, save the rustling of live coals in the grate. Outside the +window the toy boat floated, a symbol of men's and women's ineffectual +childishness, always dreaming of adventures on which they never set +sail. Tabs pondered the hidden profundity of her words. At last he +believed that through her he understood himself. It wasn't youth that he +or anybody coveted; it was the more supreme boon of not growing old. He +had just arrived at this new self-knowledge when she spoke. + +"To be tempted means that one's wanted--wanted dreadfully, so that it +hurts. That's living--to be wanted. Not to be wanted is worse than +death. When you're dead, you're forgotten and you forget. To be +forgotten and to remember is the end of all things. Not to be wanted +when you're alive is to beat your flesh against the walls of a tomb. +Lord Taborley, I know what you came for." He had set down his cup. She +covered his bronzed hands with her own passionate white ones, +overwhelming him with a rush of words. "You came to accuse me, to bribe +me, to buy me. You didn't want to hear me; I was already condemned. Do +you think I don't know what's said about my marriages? I know too well. +But it isn't vanity that makes me want to be loved. It's so right to be +loved. It isn't wickedness. It's the terror of not being loved--the same +terror that makes you cling to Terry though she doesn't want you in +return---- We all want to believe that we're wanted. It's human. Without +that life's a blank. One can't face up---- And I----" + +She tore her hands from him and buried her face, sobbing in the +cushions. + + +V + +He had done it. By some unaccountable blunder he had made her cry. What +was it he had said? Only a minute ago she had been so radiant and +smiling. His first thought was of Porter; she must not know. This crying +must be stopped before she heard it. Any moment she might enter. Even +now she might be listening at the door, preparing to enter. + +Another conjecture rushed into his mind--this sobbing might be part of a +prearranged plan. Tears are the jiu-jitsu of woman's art of +self-defense. To the world at large the man is always a villain who has +caused them. "But I didn't cause them," he protested to himself. And +then, "Dash it all! There's nothing gained by sitting here. I've got to +do something." + +He roused himself and limped round the table to the end of the couch +against which her face was hidden. He could see nothing but the pale +gold of her hair, the ivory whiteness of her neck and the pitiful +heaving of her fascinating shoulders. She looked extraordinarily like a +doll--a broken doll which had been allowed to fall through some one's +carelessness. + +"Confound it! What a brute I am!" he muttered. "What the dickens does +one do with a woman in hysterics?" + +He laid his hand very timidly on her silky hair. He had had no idea that +it was so silky. "Cheer up!" he said softly. And then again, "I do wish +you'd cheer up." + +She took not the slightest notice, save that a small white hand scuttled +out like a mouse from beneath the cushions and commenced a hurried +search. He watched it and formed a hasty guess. It couldn't find the +thing for which it had been sent, so he dropped his own large +handkerchief in its path, saw it take possession of it and dive again +beneath the cushions. It made no difference to the sobbing. + +What ought he to do? He couldn't endure the sound--it wrenched him. He +bent over her, trying to turn her obstinately hidden face in his +direction. + +"Maisie!" The word had slipped out. It didn't matter. It mattered so +little that he repeated the indiscretion. "Maisie, you mustn't break +your heart like that. No one thinks ill of you and you are wanted. +You're wanted most awfully. Heaps of people want you." + +The shoulders ceased to heave for a fraction of a second, but her face +still refused to turn. "Who-oo--who wants me?" Her voice reached him +choked with tears and muffled. + +Tabs frowned. The question was a poser. Who did want her? He was blessed +if he knew. There must be people who wanted her--Adair, for instance. +But the mention of Adair would provide her with a reason for a new +outburst. There was only one thing to say under the circumstances, so he +said it. "I do." + +She lay so still that she might have been dead. It was frightening, this +sudden silence after such a storm of emotion. It was so frightening that +he had to say something more to prove to himself that she could hear. +"You're beautiful. You're so gay when you're not crying. I don't think +any man could prevent himself from wanting you." And then desperately, +in a last effort, "You're most tremendously charming." + +Her face never stirred from the cushions, but he was aware that +surreptitiously his borrowed handkerchief was being employed +industriously. + +He had just time to compose his features before a tear-wet eye blinked +up at him. It was an eye eloquent with gratitude and babyishly blue. +"You're a dear," a small voice whispered. + + +VI + +He had been called many things from time to time, but never before "a +dear." To be called "a dear" by a beautiful woman was an entirely new +sensation for him. It made him distinctly uncomfortable--almost ashamed. +A gift of this sort, even though it hasn't been desired, puts the +recipient under an obligation. When once a woman has dubbed a man "a +dear," she expects him to live up to the part she has assigned him. Tabs +hoped that she hadn't been as sincere as she had sounded. + +Taking himself off to the nearest French window, he stood staring out +morosely--staring out at the silly little rockery, with the silly little +pond at the foot of it, containing the silly little boat that never +sailed anywhere. He was cross with himself and even more cross with her. +Why couldn't she have behaved sensibly, instead of bursting like a +rain-cloud without warning? She made mysteries out of everything, out of +himself, Terry and even her sister's portrait. She never gave him a +complete answer to any question. She surrounded herself with the +atmosphere of a detective novel. He was half-minded to rush into the +hall and make good his escape before she involved him further. Sir +Tobias could come and conduct his own unpleasantness. How on earth was +he going to tackle her concerning Adair now that she had called him "a +dear"? + +But beneath his irritation and always struggling to surmount it was a +quite different emotion--an emotion of tenderness. He kept seeing her as +she had lain there sobbing, so fragile and dispossessed and broken. It +was the whiteness of her neck that he remembered, the narrowness of her +shoulders and the silkiness of her pale gold hair. + +He had been standing at the window for perhaps five minutes when her +voice reached him from a great distance. "Thanks muchly for the hanky. +I'm better now." + +"I'm glad," he said with his back towards her, once again on his guard. + +As he turned slowly, she greeted him with a smile of welcome and nodded +towards her sister's portrait. "She wouldn't have cried, you know." + +"Wouldn't she?" + +He had to say something; that seemed as good as anything. He made no +attempt to approach her, but stood at bay against the window just where +he had turned. He had arrived at one fixed determination; whatever +happened, he would not again be entrapped into sharing the couch with +her. + +In answer to his unenthusiastic enquiry, Maisie shook her head +vigorously like a little girl. "No, Di wouldn't. She never cries. Even +when we were children we couldn't make her." + +It flashed on Tabs that this conversation about the unknown woman was +intended as a kind of peace-offering. Not to be ungracious, he roused +himself to a show of interest. "Couldn't make her! Surely you weren't +so cruel as to try?" + +"Here's your hanky," she said, tossing the moist, scrunched ball across +to him. "Cruel! We didn't mean to be cruel. I suppose we were. She used +to ask us to try. There was a game we played; we called it Christian +Martyrs. She was always the martyr; she liked it. All she ever did when +we hurt her was to say, 'Do it harder; I can bear more than that.' She +was as proud then as she is to-day of all that she could bear. I think +that's what made her husband furious. She seemed always to be saying to +him, 'Do it harder,' and he certainly did. But neither he nor any one +else has ever succeeded in making her cry." + +Tabs glanced at the aloof beauty of the painted face--it was like the +face of a Roman Empress, so proudly secure in its serenity. "Make her +cry! Why should any one want to make her cry? To do that would be a kind +of blasphemy." + +"That's why," Maisie clasped her hands eagerly. "You've said it for me +exactly. I've never known how to put it. It's the holiness of God that +tempts men to revile Him. He evades them, outlasts them and yet compels +their affection. They have no power over Him and can't destroy Him, +though they can destroy everything else in the world. What a man loves +and has no power over, he longs to destroy; either that, or to drag it +down to his own level, so that he can get his arms round it and comfort +its weakness and hug it to his breast. It was that way with Di and her +husband. He couldn't drag her down. He couldn't find her weakness. She +was always up there. So he reviled her." + +A silence fell between them. They stared at each other across the room's +breadth, finding each in the other something at the same time intimate +and incomprehensible; each feeling that they stood on the verge of a +discovery. It was Tabs who spoke. + +"_Was!_ Then he's dead?" + +She barely nodded. "Killed at the Somme, poor fellow. He must have hated +her to the end. In everything else he was large and splendid." + +"And his name?" + +Again Tabs was striving to remember where he had seen the unknown +woman's face. He _had_ seen it--of that he was certain. He had the sense +that the circumstances under which he had seen it had been tragic. If he +could only make Maisie reveal the name, he might recall. + + +VII + +"His name was Lord Dawn." Seeing the instant puckering of his brows, she +asked quickly, "You knew him?" + +"Knew him!" Tabs pondered the question. "I'm not sure. But Lady +Dawn--I've heard a good deal about her. She had a nursing unit in +France, didn't she? Of course she had; you and Terry were with her. It +was in her hospital that Terry met Braithwaite. She passed me yesterday, +driving with the Queen in the Park; not that I noticed her. It was Terry +who did that." He came slowly over from the window to the fireplace and +stood gazing level with the picture above the mantelpiece. He spoke +wonderingly, "The most beautiful woman in England, they say! So this is +Lady Dawn!" + +When he had finished his inspection, his interest and absorption were so +great that he did what he had vowed he would never do again--he sat down +for a second time on the couch beside her. + +"There's something wrong," he said quietly. "Either you're misinformed +or I'm mistaken. Let's get things straight." + +She made no attempt to conceal her amusement. She attributed his +seriousness to sudden infatuation--an infatuation which made him seem +ridiculously inconstant after his recent professions concerning Terry. + +"Something wrong!" she echoed mockingly. "If you think that I've +exaggerated anything that I've told you about----" She glanced up at the +portrait. "I don't think I'm likely to be misinformed. After all, I'm +her----" + +"I didn't mean that," he interrupted impatiently. "I was referring to +Lord Dawn. If he's the same man, I think both you and she have misjudged +him." + +Maisie laughed. "Lord Dawn was sufficiently definite. I'm not misjudging +him. He left no room for misjudgment." + +"But you said that he had died hating her." + +"He did, as far as we know. He gave no sign to the contrary." + +"But does she, Lady Dawn, think that?" + +"Think that he hated her?" + +"No, that he died hating her?" + +Maisie picked up a cigarette from the table and looked to Tabs for a +match. She was getting bored. "Why, certainly. One doesn't want to be +cynical, but all the deaths on the casualty-lists weren't total losses. +Some of them were releases. They weren't all--well, to put it mildly, +occasions for wearing the deepest mourning. There were English wives to +whom German shells were merciful--more merciful than English law. If +they took lives, there were cases in which they restored freedom." + +As Tabs struck a match and held it to her cigarette, his hand trembled. +He had to steady his passion before he asked his question. "And you +think that she, Lady Dawn, was one of these?" + +Maisie blew out a lazy puff of smoke. "Everybody thinks so." Then she +added pointedly, "Everybody who knows her and has a right to an +opinion." + +Tabs refused to be put off. There was a polite forbearance in his tone +when he spoke. "The first thing to do is to make sure that my Dawn was +the same as yours. Mine was known to us by no title; he was a Captain in +the same battalion as myself. He was killed in front of Pozieres.--Ah, I +see by the way you start, that so was yours! But here's where the +difference comes in; mine loved his wife, if she was his wife, more +dearly than any man I have known. His devotion was the talk of the +regiment." + +She flipped the ash off her cigarette. "Then that puts him out of the +running, doesn't it?" + +It was the studied carelessness of her gesture that released the trigger +of his indignation and made it leap out beyond control. There was in his +mind the vision of those blood-baths of the Somme, where men had +drowned in the putrescence and been flattened by shells like flies +against a wall. They hadn't all been good before they had reached their +ordeal. They had come, as most men come, from every kind of prison-house +of lust and human error. But they'd been good when they had died. They'd +been reborn into valor and tenderness. And now, to hear their +imperfections discussed in this pleasant room, so entirely feminine, +where everything was safe and warm! Their imperfections were so small as +compared with their sacrifice. Modern-day Christs, that's what they +were! Christs by the thousands, who had found no Josephs of Arimathea to +hide their defilement in garden-sepulchres. There they lay at this +moment in the wilderness of corruption where they had fallen, while +living people between puffs of cigarettes, undertook to explain why they +should not be regretted. + +"Puts him out of the running! It doesn't." + +He leapt to his feet and commenced to drag himself up and down the room, +limping backwards and forwards, while she pressed lazily against the +cushions at a loss to account for his excitement. + +"It doesn't," he repeated, pausing opposite to her. "He's still in the +running. The Dawn whom I knew was a very silent man. He was a man with a +sorrow. It made him careless. He was in the war to die. We all knew it. +The men adored him because of it. He was the finest officer in the +finest of battalions." + +He became aware that he was frightening her and sank his voice. The +lowered tone only made what he said the more dreadfully impressive. + +"There was something funny about him." He all but whispered it. +"Something funny that we couldn't understand. We couldn't understand why +he should want so much to die. The reason why we couldn't understand was +a woman's photograph." + +She looked up at him timidly. "Yes!" + +"Wherever he went he carried it. When he went into an attack, he carried +it next his heart. In billets he slept with it beneath his pillow. He +pinned it against the walls of dug-outs. That was where I saw it. I +remember now. It was smeared with the mud of a hundred trenches--Boche +trenches as well as ours. It looked down on curious sights, did that +woman's printed face in the photo." He laughed harshly. "Sights that +those of us who were there will spend the rest of our lives in an effort +to forget. And here you and I sit and talk---- Well, as I was saying, we +couldn't fathom why he should be so keen on death when there was that +woman in the world for whom he cared--for whom he cared right up to the +last. It was at the Somme, in the attack on Pozieres, that he went west. +He was in command of a company that got cut off. When we found him, he +had that bit of cardboard so tightly clasped that we couldn't take it +from him." + +He paused, suddenly exhausted. His indignation had burnt itself out. +"I'm tired," he apologized. "I'm afraid I let myself get out of hand. I +scared you for a moment. I'm sorry. Do you mind if I sit down?" + +She pushed the table back to make it easier for him to take a place +beside her. "It's all right," she consoled him. "I know that you're only +just out of hospital. Terry told me. You're not really recovered yet. +Besides, it was my fault; I spoke lightly. I wasn't thinking what I +said. But I don't feel lightly about these things. I couldn't." Then she +said something which struck him oddly. "You know my man's out there." + +What did she mean by _her man_? If she had said _her men_, he could have +comprehended. She had lost three husbands in the war. But why did she +particularize and say, "My man"? It seemed cruel to the rest. And which +of the three was it that she regarded as so peculiarly hers. + +He jerked his thoughts back. "There was something you told me about Lord +Dawn; you said it explained him. How did it go? I think you said that he +hated his wife as men hate God, because they love Him so much and yet He +won't come down. Well, out there it wasn't like that. Dawn climbed up to +her; yes, and perhaps beyond her. Out there he didn't need to pretend to +hate her; he could afford to love her without loss of self-respect. I +suppose he thought it was too late to tell her after all that had gone +before." + +"Either that," Maisie assented, "or else---- It would be like him. Or +else because he was too much of a sportsman. As it was, if he were +killed, she wouldn't need to be sorry. But if he wrote her that he loved +her and had always loved her, and then got killed---- Don't you see, +that's where her remorse would start?" + +Tabs nodded. "And yet she was his last thought. She ought to know it. +It's monstrous that she should go on believing----" He broke off. And +then, "She must be told. It's merest justice--whatever it costs." + + +VIII + +The light had been failing while they had talked. A tap fell on the +door. Coming at that moment when their nerves were jangled, it sounded +ominous. Their heads turned sharply. Maisie's voice was unsteady when +she asked, "What is it? What do you want?" + +"It's Porter, Madam. Dinner is served." + +"Oh, come in, Porter. Have you laid a place for Lord Taborley?" + +As the maid entered, Tabs rose. "I had no idea---- Why, I've been here +for hours. I really must apologize, Mrs. Lockwood, and be going." + +However much his reception had been prearranged, dinner had formed no +part of the program. The slightly puzzled expression on Maisie's +watch-dog's face betrayed that fact to him at a glance. + +Maisie laid an arresting hand on his arm. To the maid she said +cheerfully, "It's all right, Porter; Lord Taborley is staying." + +As Porter was making her exit, he commenced again to protest. Maisie +silenced his objections by leaning against him warningly. "You've talked +of everything except me," she whispered; "it was about me you came to +talk. You _must_ before we part." + +Following her across the hall to the dining-room, he reflected on her +ability for getting him into deeper and yet deeper water. He had the +feeling that he was being led somewhere against his will--somewhere that +might be for his good or for his harm, but which would inevitably cut +him off from many of his old affections. He had the discomforting sense +that he was doing something disloyal to Terry. Heaven knew what promises +might not be exacted from him before the evening ended. When would it +end? He would have to stay for at least an hour after coffee--that would +bring him to nine o'clock. Sir Tobias Beddow would have been expecting +him long before that to deliver his account of the result of his +mission. Furthermore, Sir Tobias would be demanding an explanation as to +how it was that, having asked for Terry's hand the night before, he was +still unengaged to her. If he postponed the interview till to-morrow, it +would create the appearance of lukewarmness. He couldn't very well +excuse himself by saying that he'd spent the afternoon and evening with +Maisie. And he couldn't get Maisie to let him off on the plea that Sir +Tobias, her harshest critic, was waiting for him. Besides, he had +accomplished nothing as yet; Adair Easterday had not been mentioned. + +If ever he made good his escape, he prayed that he might never again +encounter a woman possessed of charm. His paramount desire was to seize +his hat and make a furtive exit. There was nothing to prevent him but +the politeness due from a man to a woman--and she traded on it. As he +passed into the dining-room he was secretly on his guard. "I wonder what +she'll do next to inveigle me?" was his thought. + +"It'll be only a little dinner," she explained as they seated +themselves. "You weren't expected. But Porter always has something +hidden away for an emergency. Don't you, Porter?" + +He was getting accustomed to these asides addressed to Porter. He began +to perceive that Porter had other uses besides gliding round the table +in a cap and apron. She was a conversational stop-gap when situations +grew awkward, as they frequently must between an ensnared bachelor and +an unchaperoned widow. + +And she was eligible; he had to own it as they sat down to their first +meal together. Tea hadn't counted as a meal; you can serve tea to +anybody. But dinner for two, in an oak-paneled room, when the spring +dusk is falling is different. The table was lit by four naked candles. +Looped back from the windows hung the marigold-tinted curtains, +revealing in triangular patches the courtyard, with its mock +village-green and its quaintly timbered houses. It looked very real in +the half-light. An electric street-lamp stood out sharply against the +fading sky, placid and contemplative as an unclouded moon. Several +houses away a woman was singing. Sometimes her voice sank so that he +lost the air; but once, when it rose, he caught the words, "Crushing out +life, than waving me farewell." He knew what she was singing then and +followed the air in his imagination. The atmosphere of the room was +vibrant with romance; all that was lacking was his impulse to be +romantic. + +Maisie was chattering gayly and forestalling his wants. He reserved a +small portion of his mind for her conversation--sufficient to enable him +to reply "Yes" or "No" when the occasion seemed to demand it. It was +clear to him that it made her happy to have a man so entirely at her +mercy. She meant immensely well by him. Behind her mist of words she +seemed to be saying, "Isn't it nice to be just we two together?" + +But he was thinking of the other three soldiermen who had played the +game of being "just we two together" before him. The singing voice, +drifting through the courtyard, put into words the question of his +thought, "Where are you now? Where are you now?" Yes, where were they? + +He felt pity and distaste for Maisie in equal proportions. Those men had +each in turn caressed her, dipped their hands in the largesse of her +pale gold hair, seen their souls' reflection in the cornflower innocence +of her eyes, drunk forgetfulness from the poppy-petals of her mouth and +gone away to die, believing she was wholly theirs. How little of her was +theirs now! She was almost virginal--as though she had never been +touched by their passion. And yet there seemed to be one of them whose +memory had outstayed the rest, for she had said, "You know, my man's out +there." Was she merely a light, predatory woman or---- Or very loving +and lonely? + +She was speaking more seriously now. "We mustn't tell her. It's natural +to be sorry for him now that he's dead." He picked up the thread and +guessed that she was referring to Lord Dawn. + +"We must tell her," he said. + +"But we mustn't," she urged. "For years he tried to make her wretched. +There were rumors of other women. She's found peace at last. It wouldn't +help him to let her know that he had died loving her out there. He's +beyond any help of ours. They all are." He surmised who the _they_ were: +the three soldiermen who had sat there before him. In pleading for +silence for others, she was pleading for silence for herself. Again she +was defending herself against his thoughts. "All of the dead had their +chance. Lord Dawn had; there were so many years in which he might have +told her. To tell her now would be to rob----" + +She broke off as the maid reentered with the coffee. Her tone changed +instantly to one of convention. "Not here, Porter. We'll have it in the +drawing-room." + +As he followed her out across the hall, he glanced at his watch. It was +past eight o'clock. He could lose no more time. He must plunge boldly +into the subject of his mission and bring his visit promptly to an end. +He dreaded the temptation of that feminine room, with its coziness and +security and quiet. It made him too much alone with her; she was not a +woman that it was wise to be alone with too long. + +The moment the maid had left them and the door had closed, he became +confirmed in the sanity of this decision. Everything in the room +appealed to him to procrastinate. The curtains before the French +windows were closely drawn. The hearth had been swept in their absence; +the fire glowed more companionably than ever. About the table, where the +coffee waited, a solitary lamp shed a golden blur. It was heavily shaded +with yellow silk, so that most of its light escaped their faces and fell +downwards. + +She had seated herself on the couch. When she had filled both cups, she +glanced up at him smilingly, patting the vacant place beside her as a +sign that he should occupy it. He was standing before the fire, looking +immensely tall in the semi-darkness. He could see her plainly where she +sat beneath the lamp; but of him she could see nothing but his outline, +for his eyes were lost in shadow. When he seemed not to have noticed her +sign, "Come," she said coaxingly. "You don't spare yourself at all. You +make yourself tired by so much standing." + +"Mrs. Lockwood----" She started as he called her that. Twice already she +had been Maisie to him. "Mrs. Lockwood, as you reminded me before +dinner, it was about you that I came here to talk. Let's get it over. I +haven't any idea how far things have gone. I should like to believe that +nine-tenths of what's said is nothing more than gossip. But why can't +you let him alone? He may mean nothing or a tremendous lot to you--but +why can't you?" + + + + +CHAPTER THE FIFTH + +THE AIR OF CONQUEST + + +I + +She sat very silently, the way he had seen men sit when they were +wounded. She had been expecting the blow and trying to postpone it; now +that it had fallen her only feeling was one of peace because the +expecting was ended. Her face remained turned towards him, as it had +been while he had been talking. As though a mask had dropped, the real, +very tired, very young, very lonely Maisie watched him. The wistfulness +of her beauty surprised and touched him. Several times her lips moved in +an attempt to say something. Then, at last, "What right have you to +ask?" + +"I should like to claim the right of friendship." + +"Of friendship!" She frowned slightly, peering from beneath the lamp in +an effort to make out his features. Then her eyes cleared and she +smiled. "If you don't mean it, please don't say it. You see, it would +hurt afterwards. And--and I should like to have you for my friend." + +[Illustration: "_Mrs. Lockwood, why can't you let Adair alone?_"] + +He came over from the fireplace and seated himself beside her. "We've +been almost enemies--just a little afraid of each other. Isn't that so? +It's ever so much more comfortable now; we'll be able to talk more +easily. Tell me honestly, what do you see in Adair?" + +"See in him!" + +She commenced sipping her coffee. She looked extraordinarily like Terry +used to do years ago, when she was a little lass and had been naughty, +and had come reluctantly to ask pardon. He thought that if he went on +talking he might make it easier for her. + +"You'll wonder why I, who never knew you until to-day, should have taken +upon myself to broach this subject." + +"I don't wonder," she headed him off. "I know. Terry's my friend. Her +father was determined to send somebody, so she worked things in order +that you might be sent. She thought that you would be the kindest +person." + +"She thought that!" Tabs was a little taken back by her assertion; it +seemed to pledge him to kindness before he had learnt whether kindness +was required or deserved. It made him in a sense her partisan, when he +ought to have been impartial. + +"I think I can be trusted to be kind," he said; "but you must remember +that I've got to be kind all round. I must be kind to Adair's wife and +to his children. If this goes much further it will spell tragedy for +them." + +She shrugged her shoulders and laughed without mirth. "Adair's wife +should have remembered to be kind to herself. If a woman can't keep her +husband, she never deserved to have won him. And Adair--he's the +easiest man to keep in the world; far too easy to be exciting. If she +doesn't lose him to me, she'll lose him to some one else, unless----" +And then she surprised him, "But she won't lose him to me, for I don't +want him." + +Tabs sighed with relief and lit himself a cigarette. "Then that's +settled. If you don't want him, the trouble's ended, and I think Sir +Tobias and all of us owe you an apology." + +Again she laughed. This time some of her old mischief had come back. +"You go too fast, Lord Taborley. I shouldn't advise any of you to +apologize to me yet. It's true that I don't want him for keeps, but----" + +Tabs guessed the way the ground lay and went back to the question with +which he had started. "What on earth do you see in him? That's what I +can't make out." + +She kept him waiting for his answer. While he waited, like sunshine +struggling through cloud, amused happiness fought its way into her +expression. When she turned, she met his gaze with complete candor. She +was again a woman of the world. "What do I see in him? Not much--only a +makeshift, a second best. Only a man who needs me for the moment because +he's lost his direction. You remember our conversation of this afternoon +about having to feel that you were needed. He gives me that feeling, so +I'm grateful. That's why I have to have him." + +"Are you so lonely as to stoop--well, to steal to get it?" + +He was sorry he had asked it. She bit her lip in an effort to keep back +the tears and to force herself to go on brightly smiling. "Yes, as +lonely as all that," she nodded; "so lonely that it's almost a joke." + +"No joke." He was at a loss what to say. "But you have friends. You go +everywhere. You----" + +"Friends!" she interrupted, laughing with the high-pitched note of +breaking nerves. "What are friends? People to whom you say, 'How d'you +do?' here and 'How d'you do?' there, every one of whom can do without +you. I want some one who can't do without me for a second---- No joke, +you said. But it is almost a joke to be young, and eager, and +good-looking, and to know how to dress, and to be so willing to love, +and to live in the world just once, and to hear the world go by you +laughing, and to desire so much," she paused for breath, "and to want to +give so much that no one is willing to accept. If one didn't laugh over +it, it would be more than one could stand. If one didn't treat it as a +joke----" + +He caught her hands. "Steady, Mrs. Lockwood. Stop laughing at once. +There's nothing to laugh about. You're nearly over the edge." + +She stared at him with wide eyes, filled with panic, while little +ripples of laughter kept escaping from her, which she did her best to +suppress. + +"Now, listen to me," he continued quietly: "You're not exceptional. +You've been expressing something that there's not a man or woman that +hasn't felt. I feel it when I realize that I may lose Terry; so does +Braithwaite. Lord Dawn felt it when he couldn't drag his wife down to +him and couldn't climb up to her. And his wife must have felt it too, +when she sat always by herself. Phyllis feels it when she sees that, for +the moment, you have more attraction for her husband than she has. And +Adair feels it as well, when he risks his good name for a little +desperate comfort and is willing to clothe you, for whom he professes to +care, with all the appearance of dishonor. You're no exception; it's the +feeling that you are exceptional that makes you unscrupulous in your +self-pity. Get that into your head, that you're not exceptional. Half +the world's with you in the same box; but it smiles and doesn't own it. +Have you got that?" + +She nodded and tried to withdraw her hands; but he held them fast. + +"And now as regards this desire to be wanted; that's perfectly right and +natural. There's nobody who doesn't share it. And I understand what you +say about mere friendship. It's unsatisfying and impermanent. It's like +a meal snatched at a restaurant; none of the dishes or napkins or tables +or chairs belong to you. They've been used by other people before you +and they'll be used by other people the moment your bill is settled. +What you want and what every one wants, is something more than +friendship--a human relation with one person who is so much yours that +your intimacies are a secret from all the world." + +"Some one with whom I can be little," she whispered, "and foolish and +off my guard." + +He smiled. "That's it exactly. But you won't get that sort of +relationship with a man who belongs already to another woman." + +"One gets the pretense." + +He shook his head. "Not even the pretense. There was a phrase you used +about Adair; you said he'd lost his direction. That's true; he has for +the moment. Presently he'll refind it and the road leads back to +Phyllis. You said something else: you called him a second best. That's +all he is, however you take him, whether as a husband, a father or a +lover. He lacks earnestness; he has always lacked it. I've been his +friend for years; his flabbiness sticks out all over him. But you're not +a second best, Mrs. Lockwood. You're a top-notcher--too fine for +anything but the best. You really are. You ought to set a higher value +on yourself." + +She had regained her composure. He showed a willingness to release her +hands, but she let them rest where they were like tired birds, while she +regarded him with wistful kindness. + +"Too fine for anything but the best! It's a long while since I heard any +one say that. Reggie used to say it in almost those very words. But then +Reggie," she caught her breath at the remembered ecstasy, "Reggie used +to think that the sun rose and set for me. He was different from all +other men. You advise me to reserve myself for the best. How can I do +that, Lord Taborley, when the best is in the past?" + +She was very beautiful in the simplicity of her pathos--one of the most +beautiful women he had ever met. She had become a little child for the +moment and her littleness was baffling. He felt extraordinarily near to +her and alone with her. There was no longer any danger in their +aloneness. He realized why it was that she was able to give away so much +of herself; there was no value in the gift, for her heart was beyond the +capture of any man. She was the shuttered house of a vanished happiness, +inhabited by a restless ghost. The gold light from the lamp fell in a +pool about her. It revealed startlingly the whiteness of her arms and +throat, the blueness of her eyes and the primrose gleam of her polished +head. She seemed insubstantial as a dream, environed by shadows. And +what did she mean by saying that all her best lay in the past? Surely +she had misjudged! With her power of charm she could build her world to +any pattern. + +"The best in the past! None of us know enough about the future to say +that. The best lies ahead--always. To believe that brings our best +within our grasp." + +"For me it can't." She spoke hopelessly. "No believing can do that when +your best is dead." + +The finality of her despair silenced him. He could feel it like fingers +tightening on his throat. He realized in a flash that this was how he, +too, would be tempted to speak were he to lose Terry--that, having lost +the best, any careless makeshift would suffice to comfort him. While he +considered, her hands snuggled closer in his clasp, establishing a new +sympathy. + +"I think," he said at last, "even though my best were dead, I should +try to go on acting as if it lay still ahead. If I did that, round some +new turning I might find it waiting for me as a kind of recompense." + +She leant forward, peering eagerly into his eyes. "Yes. You would do +that. I'm sure of it. I knew you had something to give me the moment we +met. That was why I wouldn't let you escape me. I've learnt the secret +at last--the secret of your air of conquest. It isn't that you get your +desires. It's not that. It's your belief that you will get them that +makes you strong." + +Somewhere at the back of his head he remembered the pleading of Delilah +with Samson, "Tell me, I pray thee, wherein thy great strength lieth." + +He laughed. "Perhaps you have guessed. I'm what you might call a +round-the-corner person. I have a philosophy all my own; it's a +round-the-corner philosophy. I believe that we find everything that +we've lost or longed for, if we'll only press on. Everything that we've +ever loved or wanted waits for us further up the road, round some hidden +turning. It's always further up the road and just out of sight. The +whole trick of living is to keep your tail up and march forward with the +appearance of success, no matter how badly other people say you've been +defeated. More often than not, we're nearer our hidden corners than any +of us guess; it's the pluck to struggle the last hundred yards that +swings us round the turning and wins our kingdoms for us." + +She withdrew her hands and lay back against the cushions. "No amount of +courage----" She broke off and tried afresh. "Being brave wouldn't put +him again into my arms. You're wondering whom I'm talking about--Reggie +Pollock, my only husband. The other two didn't count, any more than +Adair counts. I don't say it unkindly. I do want you to believe that. +They were passers-by--that was all. They hung their hats in the hall +and, somehow, they stopped. They were nice boys, both of them. It seemed +a kind of war-work to let them marry me. You see, they needed me; so +when they said they loved me, I didn't have the heart to turn them out. +I suppose I was too amiable. But they didn't count--not at all." + +"The war's over," Tabs reminded her with quiet humor. "How long is this +amiability going to last?" + +She smiled dreamily. "Adair again! You don't leave him alone for long. +If you think that I ever let him make love to me, you're mistaken. It's +only that he's unhappy and I can do something for him." + +Tabs wasn't at all sure that it was only that. This fatal amiability +might have raised quite different expectations in Adair. Like her two +latest husbands, he might take a notion to hang his hat in her hall. If +he did, would she abate her amiability sufficiently to tell him to hang +it somewhere else? + +She was drifting; what she needed was either a tow-rope or a rudder. He +sent his gaze questing through the shadows. + +"Those five photographs, all of the same man--they're of Pollock?" + +"Yes." + +"He was one of the first of all the aces, wasn't he? It was he who +brought down the Zeppelin over Brussels and went missing a few days +later. You see, I remember his record. He was outstandingly brave at a +time when the world was full of brave men. And you tell me he loved +you?" + +An expression of triumph flitted across her face. "Not loved." Her voice +was full-throated. "He adored me, and to me he was a god whom I +worshiped. I'd have gone through hell for him. I'd----" + +"No, you wouldn't." + +The flatness of the contradiction pulled her up short. "No you +wouldn't," he repeated quietly. "You wouldn't even go through this for +him. You wouldn't play the game by him when he was dead. He always kept +his end up, whatever the odds against him; but you--you couldn't. This +was your chance to show that you were worthy of him. While he was alive, +you played a winning game; it was easy to be true to him. But he--he was +stauncher; he was most to be trusted when the game seemed all but lost. +You ought to have kept his spirit alive for us; but you've understood so +little of his spirit that you've been willing to put any stranger in his +place--to quote your own words, any stranger who chose to hang his hat +in your hall. Pollock was a soldier; he didn't need to be sure of +victory to show courage. It was in tight corners that he was at his +best. You're in a tight corner now, and you're his wife--the wife whom +he didn't love, but adored." + +The brutal impact of the truth had struck her dumb at first. Her lips +had fallen apart. While she had listened, her face had gone white. Now +that he paused, she slipped back into the cushions, covering her eyes +with her hands. "For God's sake stop torturing me! Though you think I'm +as contemptible as that, don't say it. If you must speak, tell me what +you think I ought to do." + +"Do! Until you find a living man who's his match, carry on as though he +were not dead." + +She uncovered her eyes and sat upright, staring at him. "As though he +were not dead. But Reggie is dead. You know as well as I do that he's +dead." + +Tabs nodded. "I'm not denying it. But for all that, try to live as +though he weren't--as though somewhere up the road, a day, a week, a +month, a year hence he would meet you round the corner." + +Her interest faded forlornly. "What good would that do? It would only be +making believe with myself." + +He spoke gently. "Yes, but games of make-believe come true. You couldn't +meet _him_, but you might meet some one his equal--a man who's, perhaps, +already waiting for you, while you squander yourself on makeshifts and +second bests." + +The little silence which had ended his speech dragged on from seconds +into minutes. In the quiet room nothing stirred. She attempted to free +herself from his gaze by refusing to look at him. Against her will her +eyes crept up to his, clashed, evaded, fell back and again crept up to +them. + +At last, speaking humbly, she said, "I was ashamed. You made me ashamed. +Whatever I'd done, if he came back, he wouldn't be ashamed of me. It +wouldn't matter how cowardly I'd been or however many husbands I'd had; +he'd be so glad to have me in his arms that he wouldn't find time to be +ashamed of me. So I'm not going to be ashamed any longer; I'm going to +start to live as if he were coming back. It'll be hard at first. +Adair--he was nothing. And yet---- I shall miss him, no doubt. You said +something this afternoon that you didn't mean." + +"Didn't I? What was it?" + +"It was when I was crying because nobody wanted me. Do you remember what +you said? You said, 'I do,' not meaning a word of it. Could you manage +to want me just a little, Lord Taborley? Not for long, you know; only +till I've got past the loneliest places--till I've begun almost to +persuade myself that he may come back. To think that you wanted me would +help." + +Before he could answer, she had sprung to her feet, all but over-turning +the lamp. "What's that?" + +A sharp rat-a-tat-tat had reverberated through the house. While she +spoke, it was repeated. Her over-strung nerves gave way. As Tabs rose, +she clung to him beseechingly. "Don't let him in. I'm not ready for him. +Don't let him in. Go outside and send him away. Tell him anything. But +don't let him enter." + +Tabs had no clear idea to whom she was referring. It might have been to +Adair. It might have been to Pollock. It seemed more likely that it was +to her dead husband. This talk about living as though he might come +back had probably distraught an imagination already over-taxed. + +"He sha'n't enter," he assured her. "There's no need to lose your +nerve." + +As he passed into the hall, he heard the starchy approach of Porter. He +waited and halted her with, "Mrs. Lockwood asked me to answer it." + +When he had watched her retreat and vanish, he advanced towards the +door. Who was it out there in the darkness whose knock had power to +strike such terror? It was a terror the excitement of which he at least +remotely shared. The thought crossed his mind, "Is it possible that her +longing could have dragged him back?" He felt as though in the +stucco-fronted gloom of Mulberry Court, Fate itself stood waiting for +him on the other side of the panel. With conscious bravado he stretched +out his hand and drew back the latch. + + +II + +"Is it Mr. Easterday?" + +It was a woman's voice that asked the question--a deep voice, thrilling +with emotion, that made him wonder what it would sound like with all the +stops pulled out. He had opened the door only a little way, expecting +that he would have to refuse admittance. At the sound of a woman's +voice, his sense of the conventions sprang to life. It must be a good +deal past ten and here he was answering Maisie's door as though he were +her butler. The kind of conclusions that could be drawn were made plain +by the caller's question, "Is it Mr. Easterday?" To be mistaken for +Easterday annoyed him. It was tantamount to an accusation. It implied +that, even though he were not Easterday, the proprietory way in which he +attended to other people's doors at after ten o'clock put Him well +within Easterday's class. Tabs was particularly annoyed to hear himself +accused by a voice so gracious and pleasant. His surprise had evidently +impressed her as furtiveness, for she said, "So it is Mr. Easterday?" + +He was at a loss what to do with her--how to turn her away. For Maisie's +sake she must not be allowed to enter, for then she would discover that +they had been alone. He opened the door a few inches wider and parried +to gain time. "If it's Mr. Easterday that you're wanting, you've made a +fortunate mistake. This is Mrs. Lockwood's house. But I happen to know +an Easterday--an Adair Easterday; he's a personal friend. Perhaps he's +the man you're looking for. If so, I can give you his address." + +This sally was greeted with a quiet, rather mocking laugh. He was using +his eyes, trying to form an estimate of the visitor. She had arrived in +a car, which he judged to be private, for in the light reflected from +the windshield he could make out the livery of her chauffeur. She was +swathed in a sumptuous wrap which looked as though it were of sable. She +held it gathered closely about her, so that it fell in soft folds, +revealing and at the same time concealing her figure. He was anxious to +read her face, but the lower part was snuggled into the fur of the deep +collar and the upper part was shadowed by a broad-brimmed tulle hat, +from which two bird of paradise plumes spread back like wings on the +helmet of a viking. For the rest, she had white kid gloves, which +reached up to her elbows. Outside the glove of the left hand she wore a +bracelet; every time she stirred the stones struck fire in the +semi-darkness. Her hands were very small. Peeping out from below her +gown, the buckles on her high-heeled shoes twinkled. She was mysterious, +taunting, and strangely commanding. As she hovered there across the +threshold, a faint perfume drifted up to him like the intoxicating +romance of June rose-gardens under moonlight. + +She, too, seemed to have suffered a surprise at hearing the tones in +which he had spoken. "His address! Oh, no, it wasn't Mr. Easterday I was +wanting. I only supposed---- If Mrs. Lockwood's at home, I should like +to see her." + +Her voice was like a chime of contralto bells. It made him think of +Bernhardt. It imparted to the commonplaces she uttered a quite +disproportionate intensity of drama and tragic depth. The way in which +she had said, "Oh, no," reverberated in his memory as though the sound +still lingered on the air. + +"I don't know at all," he commenced. Then he smiled at his confusion. +"You see I'm not used to answering doors, and Mrs. Lockwood's not quite +herself. She was very tired just now. But if you'll give me your name, +I'll----" + +If he'd been left to himself, he might have succeeded in creating the +impression that he was Maisie's physician. As it was, his conscience +was spared the deception by the advent of the inevitable Porter. She +sailed up behind him with an appearance so immaculate that it would have +shed propriety on the most compromising circumstances. He instantly +stood aside to make room for her. "Porter, here's a lady enquiring +for----" + +But the lady took matters into her own hands. "Mrs. Lockwood in, +Porter?" + +"Why, certainly, your Ladyship." + +"Then why was I shut out? Who is this gentleman who----" + +The rest was lost as their voices sank. The next words he caught were +her Ladyship's, running up the scale of laughter. "Then I'm not _de +trop_! That's a blessing!" + +He fell back, trying to obliterate himself, as with every sign of +deference Porter admitted her; but in crossing the hall, she had to pass +him. Scarcely pausing, she swept him with a pair of stone-gray eyes, +made mischievous for the moment with merriment. "You're no good as a +butler," she whispered. "You carry discretion too far." + +To his chagrin he recognized her--the one woman whom he would most have +chosen to have met in an attitude that was dignified. She entered the +drawing-room and was lost to sight. But she had left the door ajar and +he heard Maisie's delighted exclamation, "Why, Di, what brings you here +so late? This is darling of you!" His position was elaborately false. It +grew more false every minute he delayed. He foresaw himself apologizing +and being explained. He had no appetite for explanations. Since he had +adventured into Mulberry Tree Court, he had twice been tempted to bolt +for safety. Now that he was tempted for a third time, he acted blindly +on the impulse. Having played the role of butler with too much +discretion, he seized his hat and, without a thought of ceremony, +adopted a butler's mode of escaping. + + +III + +In the shrouded emptiness of the London night he felt himself free +again. He came into possession of himself and found that he could think +with his old definite clearness. In the last few hours events had rushed +him off his feet; he had no sooner realized their significance than he +had discovered himself in the throes of a new crisis. Now, for the +moment, he stood aloof and could consider his actions in their true +perspective. + +As he turned out of Mulberry Tree Court, he had thought he had heard a +voice calling after him. "Lord Taborley! Lord Taborley!" He had looked +back across the imitation village-green, where the white posts showed +dimly like smudges of chalk. The door of Maisie's house had been opened +wide, making a lozenge of gold against the blackness. He had fancied +that he had seen her standing there framed, leaning out, and +then----Yes, surely he had heard the running of slippered feet along the +pavement. He had not waited. He scarcely knew from what he was +escaping--perhaps from his fate, from which there is ultimately no +escape. He seized his respite, however, for the dread of recapture was +strong upon him. + +And now all hint of pursuit had died out. Tall houses stood muted +against the sky; dim trees cast a leafy obscurity; stars glinted +remotely like diamonds set in gun-metal. He found a healing chastity in +his sudden aloneness; it roused in him an almost angry desire to recover +his lost monasticism. + +He was amused to discover himself speculating as to whether women were +worth the trouble they occasioned. They coerced men with sentimental +arguments to which there were no replies. They wore away men's fortitude +with the continual flowing of their tears. They molded men's strength +into weakness with the magic caressing of their sex. They promised and +disappointed, flattered and allured, captured and despised. Their +curiosity was insatiable to possess themselves of secrets, which were no +longer valued the moment they were divulged. Their little teasing hands, +so destructive and lovable, had commenced the debacle of every human +greatness. Throughout the ages, their coaxing, pleading voices could be +heard wheedling men's hearts to the same purpose. "Tell me, I pray thee, +wherein thy great strength lieth, and wherein thou mightest be bound to +afflict thee." The strength of men had eternally roused their +resentment, whether they were the Delilahs of long ago or the Maisies of +a modern generation. The goal of all their passion, even when it was +unselfish, was to bind. + +He had nearly been bound, but he had escaped. At the thought that he +had escaped, he felt a flood of exultant joy sweep through him. He +smiled, believing he had discovered a humorous and more human motive for +the exhausting piety of the anchorites. It wasn't their religious +self-abnegation that had made them flee to scorched river-beds and +desert hiding-places; it was their triumphant satisfaction at having +tantalized and eluded feminine pursuit. They fled in order that they +might possess, not deny themselves. As they became more emaciated and +scarred and as their needs grew less, they listened. What they heard was +ample compensation for all that they had foresworn at the hands of life. +Far blown from distant haunts of habitation came a sound which in their +ears was sweetest music: day and night the painful dragging of chains +and the groan of men toiling in servitude to women. + +"The Philistines be upon thee, Samson!" When the last sleepy caress had +been given, all men who lacked the caution of the anchorite, were sooner +or later destined to hear that cry. + +How much nobler men had been in a womanless world! Some of them had had +to become womanless before they could be noble. Pollock plunging to his +death from the clouds, like an eagle struck by a thunderbolt! Lord Dawn +with the smile of calm remembrance on his lips, purged of all his +fruitless sex-contentions, lying white and quiet beneath the crack and +spatter of exploding shells! Braithwaite, the ex-valet, who had proved +himself an aristocrat in courage! And he himself, thinking only of duty, +with every jealous ambition laid aside! + +And now---- The mate of the eagle was a trifler with peacocks and +vultures. The man whose face had been molded by his last thought into an +expression of serene faithfulness, was recalled only as one who had +lived envenomed by disloyalty. Braithwaite, the aristocrat in courage, +was now distinguished for his cowardice; he himself was at one and the +same time Braithwaite's rival and grudging critic. _The Philistines be +upon thee, Samson! And he awoke out of his sleep and said, I will go out +as at other times and shake myself_----Asleep! He felt that he, too, had +been asleep. All the men who had been giants in the past five years were +either dead or sleeping. And this sudden transformation was the work of +women, because men had come back to walk and rest with them in the soft, +desired places. The little feminine hands had stripped them of their +charity, had taken away their valor and had concealed liers-in-wait in +the chamber of their affections. + +So his thoughts ran on, amplifying, magnifying, exaggerating the theme +of the debilitating effects of women. But from all his accusations he +exempted Terry. She was the Joan of Arc of his imagination, who rode on +unvanquished across life's battlefields, inspiring to heroism with her +shining purity. And he made one other exception--Lady Dawn. It was the +Lady Dawn of the portrait he exempted, not the Lady Dawn who had mocked +him in passing with her steady stone-gray eyes. In a strange way he +discriminated between the portrait and the living woman. The portrait +was almost his friend; the living woman was a stranger. The woman in +the portrait was after his own heart; she had never been known to cry. +"Do it harder; I can bear more than that." He thrilled to the pride of +her defiance. + +Then he pulled himself up with a start. Again he was thinking about her. +Yes, and though he might discriminate between the portrait and the +living woman, it was the living woman's eyes that gleamed in the +blackness of his mind. There was truth in what Maisie had said, that +were he as much in love with Terry as he professed all other women, +however beautiful, except the one woman, should be hanks of hair and +bags of bones. He consoled himself by arguing that that was precisely +what he had been trying to prove them by his sweeping applications of +the conduct of Delilah. + +Whichever way he viewed his situation, things were in a pretty fair +muddle--a muddle which annoyed him because it was so unmerited. He was +pledged to Terry, while she held herself unpledged. He was committed to +help Maisie--a distinctly unwise little lady for any bachelor to help. +As a third party to his problem, Lady Dawn intruded herself--though why +she should, he wasn't certain. He would have to see her, however much +Maisie dissuaded; it was right that she should know about her husband. +Yet was that the entire reason why he was so keen to see her? He assured +himself very earnestly that it was, and dismissed her from his mind. + +For the rest of the journey home he conscientiously narrowed his +imaginings to thoughts of Terry. + + +IV + +It was with thoughts of her that he fitted his key in the latch. The +Square was full of newly married couples, some of them little more than +boys and girls--youngsters who had waited impatiently and had run +together the moment war was ended. Others had been married just long +enough to be proudly parading their first baby. Every morning white +prams were wheeled out into the garden, there to be watched over by +softly spoken nurses. Every night, as dusk came down, expectant mothers +paced gently through the shadows, leaning on the arms of ex-officer +husbands. It wasn't only in the trees that nests were being built. The +Square's name might well have been changed to Honeymoon Square. + +And now, as Tabs pushed the door open, preparing to enter, he knew that +all up and down the Square, behind the pall of darkness, other doors +were being pushed back. Young couples were coming home from dinners and +theaters. He could hear the murmur of their laughter, subdued and +secret, hinting at intimacies of affection. The men had misplaced their +latch-key perhaps; the girls were advising that they search another +pocket. Or the lock refused to turn and the girls were whispering how it +could be persuaded. Some of them were arriving in taxis; others, less +lucky or more economic, were tripping by on foot along the pavement. He +noticed how closely they clung together and he thought of Terry. It +would be jolly to be young, to build a nest and, by and by, to see your +own white pram wheeled out to take its place in the blowy greenness of +the garden. He withdrew his key and entered, closing the door behind +him. + +The house was very still. It was nearly midnight. The maids had gone to +bed, leaving lights in the hall and on the landings. As he hung up his +hat, the stillness was broken by the sudden ringing of the telephone. It +rang in a peevish, scolding manner, as though this were not the first +time and it had lost its temper with waiting. He climbed the flight of +stairs to his library and, without waiting to switch on the lights, sat +down at his table, taking up the receiver. + +"Yes." + +"Is this Lord Taborley?" a voice inquired. + +"Lord Taborley speaking." + +"This is Sir Tobias Beddow." There was a pause, followed by a little +asthmatic cough. Then, "How are you, my dear fellow? I've been trying to +reach you all evening. I was expecting to see you round here this +morning at eleven.--No, I don't mean perhaps what you infer. Besides, it +wouldn't have been any good if you had called; Terry wandered out, +without leaving word where she was going. She didn't get back till +nearly lunch-time. Most unaccountable conduct under the circumstances; +but since your conduct was equally unaccountable, perhaps it was just as +well. But that wasn't what I called you up about." + +Tabs smiled in the darkness. Sir Tobias was as simple and crafty as a +child; he couldn't keep anything back. Then his mind jumped to the +obvious conclusion. Terry hadn't told her parents about her morning +interview; her parents naturally supposed that it was his fault that he +was not engaged to her as yet. Making an effort to be diplomatic, he +said, "Perhaps I can explain my apparent negligence to you later. It +must seem unpardonable. I've been busy every minute over things that +absolutely couldn't be avoided." + +"Of course. Of course." The words were spoken soothingly, but without +conviction. "We men understand. It's Lady Beddow who---- Such events are +women's great occasions. She's a stickler for form. As you say, you can +explain later---- But that wasn't what I called you up about." + +Tabs stifled a yawn. He had suddenly discovered he was sleepy. + +"What was that you said?" Sir Tobias enquired suspiciously. + +"I didn't say anything," Tabs replied politely. "But I think I know what +you called me up about. It was about Maisie--I mean Mrs. Lockwood." + +"What about her?" The question was asked carelessly; he knew at once +that he had missed his guess. It was strange, even though he had guessed +wrongly, that Sir Tobias should not display more interest. + +"What about her? Only that I've spent the last six hours with her. You +asked me to see her as soon as possible, you remember. I had only just +got home from being with her, when the telephone rang. She's not the +woman we thought her." + +"Eh? What's that?" + +He repeated what he had said. He was perfectly certain that Sir Tobias +had heard the first time. "She's not the woman we thought her." And he +added, "There's been some mistake. She hasn't and never did have any +designs on Adair. After we'd talked things over, she agreed of her own +accord never to see him again." + +"She did!" There was a long pause, expressive of skepticism, +dissatisfaction, or anything that he cared to conjecture. Then, "When we +meet, you can tell me. But that wasn't what I called you up about." + +Tabs waited for him to tell him why he had called him up. He waited so +long that it seemed to be a competition to see who would compel the +other to break the silence first. At last he gave in. "If that wasn't +why, why did you?" + +He almost heard Sir Tobias blink his eyes--those faded eyes that looked +so blind and saw so much. "I called you up about this General +Braithwaite. He's been here to see me on the biggest fool's errand, with +the most unusual story which, if it's true, partly concerns yourself. +It's too late to enter into details this evening. But I thought I'd let +you know---- Good night." + +"One minute, Sir Tobias----" + +Before he could get any further Sir Tobias had hung up. For a few +seconds he sat there in the darkness listening; then he hung up also and +took himself off to bed. + +What object had Braithwaite had in going to see Sir Tobias? Was it his +first step in trying to play fair? Was his "fool's errand" a formal +request for Terry's hand in marriage and his "unusual story" a manly +recital of the facts? And had this great advance in frankness included +the telling of Ann? As he tossed sleeplessly from side to side, other +problems leapt up to confront him. Had he done wisely in promising +Maisie that, in a measure, he would compensate her for the loss of +Adair? What would Sir Tobias think of such an intimacy when he got to +hear of it? What would even Adair think of it? There was only one person +who would not doubt his integrity; that was Terry. And then Lady +Dawn--had he actually any moral right to interfere in her affairs? "Do +it harder; I can bear more than that." He could hear her saying it in +that deep, emotional voice of hers. He could feel her honest stone-gray +eyes, probing his soul for motives in the darkness. + +Day was breaking and birds were stirring in the mist of greenness that +topped his windows, before his eye-lids closed and he slipped off into +forgetfulness. + + +V + +"To-morrow's another new day," he thought as he awoke. One could meet +any and every indebtedness to life if he only had a sufficient fund of +to-morrows in his bank. + +He looked at his watch and leapt out of bed. Nine o'clock! He had slept +late. He didn't hurry over his dressing. He could afford to be late for +once. The mood of conquest was upon him. Maisie had said that. No, it +wasn't _the mood_ but _the air_ of conquest that she'd said he had. +Whichever it was, he would prove her a true prophetess. He might not +gain all his desires, but he'd at least wear the air of one who was +going to gain them. To-morrow was another new day, and to-morrow had +arrived. + +On coming down to breakfast he scrutinized Ann's features closely to +learn whether she had heard anything from Braithwaite. They told him +nothing. Presently, however, while she served him, she began to open +out. + +"Did your Lordship speak to the gentleman at the War Office?" + +Tabs had been glancing through the morning paper. He looked up. "Yes, I +did, Ann. I placed your letter in his hands, and saw him read it." + +"Did he say anything or promise anything to your Lordship?" + +Tabs pursed his lips judicially, trying to avoid a lie. "You know what +these War Office officials are. They never make promises to any one. But +I believe this one's a good-hearted chap. When he realizes how much this +thing means to you, I think he'll do his best." + +"Then he didn't show your Lordship my letter?" + +Tabs had dipped into his newspaper again. He detested the well-meant +deceit he was compelled to practice. This time, when he answered, he +didn't raise his eyes. "No, he didn't." + +But she didn't efface herself, as he had expected. She stood there, to +one side of his chair. He felt that she was looking down at him. Just +above the edge of his paper he could see her hands clasped together, +pressing against each other in agitation. He abandoned his refuge and +dropped the paper to the carpet. + +"Something more that you want to ask me? What is it?" + +"Your Lordship said that when the gentleman realized how much all this +meant to me, he'd do his best." + +"That's what I said and I'm sure of it." + +"What I wanted to ask was, does your Lordship think he has realized?" + +It was the way she said it that roused his curiosity. Could she have +guessed? Had she read the address on that letter which he had given her +to post to General Braithwaite, and put two and two together? + +He met her eyes--good, gray eyes, with something of Lady Dawn's grave +honesty in their expression. "I think he has realized." + +"Thank you, sir; and I'm sorry I had to trouble you." + +She withdrew, leaving him with the disturbing sense that she had +intended more than she had said. He gathered up the paper from the floor +in the hope that a perusal of it might enable him to recover his lost +equanimity. In so doing he caught sight of the last page, which +contained the photographic items. Braithwaite's face stared up at him. +Above it was printed the caption, "_Youngest Ranker Brigadier Demobbed +Yesterday_." + +If she had seen that, she knew. If she had seen it, what would be her +next move--appeal or revenge? What had been the significance of her +final question, "Does your Lordship think he has realized?" Did she know +now; had she even known when she had written her letter that it would be +received by Braithwaite himself? + +If she didn't know and had not seen the paper, he was determined that +she should not see it. Before leaving the room, he stuffed it into the +empty grate and applied a match. He would play fair by Braithwaite. He +was so eager to play fair that he did not turn to go upstairs till every +vestige of print had been licked to ashes. + + +VI + +His library occupied the whole of the second story; even at that it was +not very large. It had two long French windows, opening onto a veranda +which looked out over the Square. The veranda was constructed of wrought +iron, painted green, and ran straight across the front of the house. Ann +used it for giving her plants an airing; they usually formed a truant +garden beyond the panes. There was a smaller window at the back, from +which a view could be obtained of the Oratory. + +The room was furnished in English red lacquer, which had been +transferred from the collection at Taborley House, when Taborley House +had been lent to the Americans for a military hospital. The walls were +hung with landscapes by Zuccarelli and with Chinese portrait-groups of +the Eighteenth Century. + +He had scarcely entered before the telephone renewed its irritating +clamor, like a fretful child which yelled whenever it heard his +footstep. He responded to its fretfulness in very much the same mood, +seizing hold of the receiver as though he would shake it into silence. + +"Yes. Hullo! Hullo! Yes, this is Lord Taborley. What's that? You didn't +catch what I---- It's Lord Taborley speaking, I said." + +"Well, I must say you don't sound very nice." It was a woman's amused +voice. "Even at this distance, you make me almost afraid. I do hope you +haven't been like that all night." + +Tabs made his tones more smiling. "I'm sorry if I don't sound +sufficiently pleasant. But who are you?" + +"Well, who do you think?" There was a snatch of laughter. "I'm Maisie; I +mean Mrs. Lockwood. You needn't tell me that you're not frowning, +because I can feel it. What's the matter?" + +He pulled a wry face at himself in the opposite mirror and shrugged his +shoulders. Down the 'phone he said with excessive amiability, "Nothing. +I'm top-hole. How are you feeling?" + +Her answer came back like a flash, "Vulgar and not very safe." It was +followed by a gurgle of merriment. + +"I'm not sure that I understand your symptoms." + +The gurgle was repeated. "You wouldn't. Lord Taborley never feels vulgar +and he's always safe. But this is one of my vulgar days, when I'm not +to be trusted. I always have one when Di has been to visit me; it's the +relapse after contact with too high standards of respectability. I'm +liable to do anything. I married Gervis and Lockwood after being with +her. I shall break out to-day if you don't come at once and stop me. +Unless--unless you don't want to stop me and would prefer the experiment +of being vulgar together." + +"The prospect sounds alluring." He was trying to let her down lightly. +"But I'm afraid I have too many engagements on hand." + +"Oh!" It was the _oh_ of disappointment. When she spoke again her gay +irresponsibility had vanished and a coaxing quality had come into her +voice. "I know you've only just got home from being with me--I mean +comparatively speaking. I don't want to make myself a burden to you, +but---- It's such a jolly day. Have you been up long enough to look out +of the window? I thought we could go off somewhere--to the Zoo, perhaps, +and drink lemonade all among the monkeys and the nuts. I woke up +planning it. We'd limit our spending money to five shillings like +kiddies, and do all our riding on busses. Doesn't that sound jolly?" + +"Immensely," he agreed; "but I'm afraid no amount of jolliness could +tempt----" + +She broke in on him. "It's the kind of thing I used to do with Adair." + +The meaning of this last remark was plain; she was reminding him that if +the pair of shoes vacated by Adair were to remain vacated, he must pay +the promised price on occasions by wearing them himself. He determined +to get behind her diplomatic hints with frankness. + +"I don't want you to think, Mrs. Lockwood, that because I have to refuse +your first request I'm going back on our contract. There'll be plenty of +other opportunities." + +He caught her sigh of relief across the line. When she spoke again it +was with a new brightness and reasonableness. "I'm glad you said that. +So you really are going to help me? I was a wee bit afraid that you'd +gone back on your bargain by the way you ran away." + +It was his first experience of the advantage a woman gains when she +attacks a man from the other end of a telephone. He had trouble in +making his voice sound patient. He replied with conscious hypocrisy, +"I'm sorry I created the impression of running away." + +"You did." Her answer came back promptly. "You created the same +impression on us both. I had to do a lot of explaining to Di." + +"And I was trying to save you embarrassment," he excused himself. + +"Eh! What's that?" + +To his immense surprise a third voice--a man's--jumped in on the +conversation. "Are you there? Is this Lord Taborley?" + +Tabs was just getting ready to confess that he was there and that he was +Lord Taborley, when Maisie took matters out of his hands by informing +the intruder that the line was occupied and that he was interrupting a +conversation. + +"I'm sorry," the intruder apologized, "but my time's valuable. I've been +kept waiting for the best part of quarter of an hour. Are you the +telephone-girl that I'm talking to?" + +"Indeed I'm not," said Maisie with considerable haughtiness. "Please get +off the line." And then to Tabs, "Are you still there, Lord Taborley? +This is Mrs. Lockwood. Can't you postpone some of those engagements so +that we can meet to-day?" + +At that moment the girl at the switch-board took a hand. There was a +confused gabbling and buzzing of voices, out of which the suave tones of +the intruder emerged triumphant, saying, "This is Sir Tobias Beddow. Can +I speak with Lord Taborley?" + +Perhaps Maisie had heard. At all events, the moment Sir Tobias declared +himself the line cleared. + +But it wasn't what Maisie had overheard that disturbed Tabs; it was the +uncertainty as to how much of her conversation had been listened to by +Sir Tobias. After all, prospective fathers-in-law are only human and as +likely as any other class to jump to damaging conclusions. Tabs hung up +the receiver, making it necessary for him to be summoned afresh before +he acknowledged his presence at the 'phone. Then, "Good morning, Sir +Tobias." + +"Good morning, my dear fellow." Sir Tobias was as courtly and friendly +as ever. "I called you up to know whether you could run round to see me +between now and the forenoon. Yes, the matter I mentioned to you last +night. About eleven, you say? Very well, then, I shall expect you." + + +VII + +No sooner had the butler with the velvet-plush manners admitted him than +he found himself face to face with Terry. She must have known that he +was expected and have been lying in wait for him. Before he could say a +word, she pressed a finger to her lips, signaling caution. To the butler +she said in a low tone, "It's all right, James; you don't need to wait. +I'll announce Lord Taborley." The discreet James showed a fitting +appreciation of romance by folding his plump hands across the pit of his +stomach, making the ghost of a bow and tiptoeing noiselessly into the +nether regions with the stealth of a conspirator. + +Terry's face was a picture of innocence. After Maisie she struck him as +very young--much too young to love or to know the meaning of love. The +sight of her freshness was forbidding. It made him seem jaded. It filled +him with a reverence that was not far short of worship. He felt it +impossible to think of her as performing the ordinary acts of a mortal +world. He had the feeling that she moved on higher levels--that she was +a creature too shy and perfect to be made the instrument of passion. She +should be guarded in her purity like a vestal virgin, so that her +straight young body might be forever valiant and her eyes might never +learn the cowardice of tears. + +In the brave March sunlight which shafted down on her, her head looked +more like a Botticelli angel's than ever. The raw gold of her bobbed +hair shone solid as metal, making a sharp edge where it ended against +the ivory pallor of her throat. She was dressed in a white tailor-made +serge. Her violet eyes danced with eager secrets. + +"What are you doing to-day?" she whispered. + +"Nothing!" he whispered, "if you want me." + +"Then invite me out to lunch. I've such heaps to tell you. Don't let +Daddy take you to his club--I know he's going to ask you. And, oh, +before I forget, I've told them nothing about yesterday, so don't give +me away by accident." Then in a sly aside, just as she was turning the +door-knob to admit him to her father's library, "You've been getting on +famously with Maisie, haven't you?" + +Before he could reply, they were across the threshold. There was a sound +as of a rheumaticky hen stirring in its nest. The neck of Sir Tobias +craned painfully round the corner of a high-backed chair. + +"Here's Lord Taborley to see you, Daddy. Don't keep him forever. He's +just invited me to go out with him to lunch." + +Having shot her bolt, with the masterly strategy of her sex, she +vanished, pulling the door behind her. + +What would Shakespeare have said under the circumstances, and what would +a suitor have said to Shakespeare when he knew that he was suspected of +having gone back on his request for the daughter's hand in marriage? +Tabs almost felt that he was in the actual presence of the bard of +Stratford, Sir Tobias looked so ineffectually pompous and overweighted +with gravity. Both Sir Tobias and Shakespeare, in the opinion of Tabs, +were vastly overrated persons; but the only thing Shakespearian about +Sir Tobias this morning was the magnificent calmness of his forehead; +his podgy body, supported by its stiff little pen-wiper legs was more +reminiscent of Punch, as portrayed on the cover of the famous weekly +which bears his name. + +"Immensely considerate of you to come," puffed Sir Tobias, levering +himself out of his chair in order that he might shake hands. + +"Not kind at all," Tabs contradicted cheerfully. "I kill two birds with +one stone; I have my conversation with you and in half an hour I carry +off Terry." + +That'll make him hurry up with whatever he has to say, he thought; it +sets a time limit. + +The old gentleman seemed put out to find himself deprived of his +prerogative to be elaborate and prosy. He made a gesture, indicating +that Tabs should copy his example and choose a chair. But Tabs ignored +it. He had learnt that a man on his feet has the advantage, especially +if he stands six foot two in his socks. + +"You'll be wanting my news," he suggested. "I told you pretty well +everything across the telephone. I think it's a case of everybody having +got the wind up--Phyllis particularly. Mrs. Lockwood's a very restful +woman. I should call her a man's woman. She's bright and entertaining +and pretty, and she owns a charming little house. She had no +responsibilities, so she's free to entertain from morning till night. +Adair has without doubt visited her more often than was wise. It was +remarkably foolish of him to have made a woman-friend whom he didn't +share with Phyllis. But I suppose he didn't dare to introduce them after +he'd seen that Phyllis was jealous. However that may be, this dread that +they may run away together is moonshine. Mrs. Lockwood sets too high a +value on herself. Besides, there's only one man whom she loves or ever +has loved for that matter. He happens to be dead!" + +"One moment, my dear fellow," Sir Tobias interrupted, "I always +understood that the lady had had three husbands. Was this man one of +them or did she have no affection for any of the men she married?" + +Tabs felt himself cornered--and he had been getting on so well. He +realized that if once he allowed Sir Tobias to start questioning him he +would get tangled up. "She's complex," he explained; "she's complex in +her simplicity. She's one of the most simply complicated and +complicatedly simple women that I ever met. To understand her you have +to talk with her. I talked with her for six hours. The upshot was that +she promised to shut her door against Adair." + +The innocent old eyes blinked. "I'm not modern, like you, Lord Taborley. +I have my suspicions of these simply complicated and complicatedly +simple women. Set me down as old-fashioned. Having been only once +married, I can't enter into the refinements of feeling of such +matrimonially inclined boa-constrictors as Mrs. Lockwood. I sha'n't give +myself the chance of meeting her. I'm an old man; it would be too +upsetting. If I talked with her, I shouldn't understand. So I must take +your word for it that, however much appearances may have been against +her, her motives were beyond question." He slipped forward in his chair +with a disconcerting suddenness; for a moment his filmy eyes became +penetrating. "She seems to have made a deep impression on you, my dear +fellow. If your optimism proves correct and through your efforts Adair +is free from her clutches, we all owe you a debt of gratitude. But--and +I'm sure you won't take amiss what I'm saying--I would advise you, now +that you've effected Adair's rescue, not to see too much of her +yourself. In fact, if I were you, I wouldn't see her any more if I could +help." + +It was clear that the benignant, sly old gentleman had overheard a +substantial part of Maisie's telephone conversation. It was equally +clear that his interference was wisely and kindly intended. He had a +perfect right to be scrupulous about the conduct of a man whom he +regarded as his future son-in-law; but he had no right to take advantage +of the worst managed telephone-system in the world to eavesdrop on a +private conversation. At the same time Tabs could hardly accuse him of +eavesdropping, so he fell back on his dignity for defense. + +"I've always been very well able to take care of myself," he said +quietly. "If I hadn't been, I shouldn't have undertaken your mission +and have gone to interview the kind of woman you described. I found, +however, that she didn't live up to your description of her; in fairness +to her I have to let you know that. I don't think you appreciate, Sir +Tobias, what a delicate situation you created for both of us. She's a +woman of breeding; which goes without saying since she's Lady Dawn's +sister--a fact which you withheld from me. You sent me to her house as a +kind of moral policeman with a warrant for her arrest. She was well +aware of that and she was also aware that the charge you laid against +her was almost libelously mistaken. All I can say is that she has +behaved very handsomely. Since you and Phyllis have misunderstood her +friendship for Adair, she's willing to break off relations. The most +courteous and only decent thing that we can do is to cease discussing +her. It's an incident which does none of us much credit." + +As he had warmed to her defense, Tabs had been very conscious that he +was being more than generous--perhaps even more generous than truthful. +It hadn't been his intention at the start to depict her as a wronged and +spotless angel; but the skepticism of the attentive old image, bleached +with disillusions and faded with years, had goaded him to excess. + +Sir Tobias had listened, scratching his pointed beard thoughtfully, with +entire amiability. He was utterly unimpressed and visibly unashamed. +"You're a man of the world, my dear Taborley, and you have the advantage +of having seen her. From what you say I gather that she's not bad +looking. To the not bad looking much is forgiven. Nevertheless, I stand +by my opinion that she's not a safe woman to see too often. However, +you're master of your own actions and that's neither here nor there." + +He commenced to fumble through his pockets. When he had found his +cigarette-case, he proffered it to Tabs, who refused it. + +"I wish you'd sit down, my dear fellow." + +Tabs glanced at his watch. There was only a quarter of an hour left of +the time he had allotted. As a concession to Sir Tobias he seated +himself. "It was about General Braithwaite that you called me up last +night?" + +"Yes. But there's no hurry. We can discuss that over lunch." + +Tabs considered that the time had come to be firm. "I'm sorry, Sir +Tobias. Terry's lunching with me. We start in something less than +fifteen minutes." + +Sir Tobias screwed himself round and surveyed his future son-in-law with +a mild amazement. For forty years he had been accustomed to having his +own way unchallenged. "Terry can wait." He spoke as though the matter +was now settled. "What I have to tell you is important." + +"And so is what I have to tell Terry." Tabs emphasized his statement by +glancing again at his watch. + +For a few seconds Sir Tobias was at a loss. To hear himself opposed was +a novel experience. Then he thought he had discovered a consoling +reason for this obstinacy and smiled loftily, as Shakespeare retired to +Stratford might have smiled at hearing himself reminded by Ann Hathaway +that he was not so great a man as London had imagined. + +"Very well, my dear fellow," he conceded; "young blood will have its +way. I withdraw for this once, since your plans are already made." + +His forgiveness was brushed aside. Time was pressing. Tabs forced him to +the point without further ceremony or waste of words. "When you phoned +yesterday evening it was nearly midnight, so the matter must have seemed +urgent. You said that General Braithwaite had been to see you on a +fool's errand, with a story that partly concerned myself. May I ask how +it concerned me?" + +"You're brusque, very brusque," Sir Tobias complained. "We could have +talked this over much better at my club." + +When Tabs showed no signs of relenting, he revealed his real feelings +testily. "You know this fellow Braithwaite. You must have recognized him +the moment you clapped eyes on him. Why didn't you tell me?" + +Tabs looked up quickly, taken aback and slightly resentful at the +peremptory tones in which he was addressed. "It wasn't my business. +Apart from that, I was aware of nothing to his discredit." Once again as +in the case of Maisie, he was allowing himself to be goaded out of +justice into excessive generosity. + +"Nothing to his discredit! That depends on your point of view." Sir +Tobias sniffed audibly. He could be as a rude as a spoilt child. "That +depends on how deeply interested you're in--in my daughter." + +"I think I gave you proof of my interest, Sir Tobias, the other evening +when I asked----" + +"Pshaw! You know very well what I'm driving at, Taborley." + +"Nevertheless, I should like to hear you put it into words." + +Sir Tobias gave one of his remarkable exhibitions of youthfulness. +Flinging aside his decrepitude, as though it had been no more than an +affectation, he shot bolt upright, gripping the arms of his chair. "Last +night, within a handful of hours of my forbidding him the house, he had +the impertinence to call here to inform me that he was in love with +Terry. Not content with that, he added insult to his impertinence by +telling me that he had been your valet. How is it, Taborley, that on +that evening when you dined here as his fellow-guest, you never once +hinted by look or word that he wasn't the part he was playing? I can't +consider that very honorable of you. As an old friend, quite apart from +any new relationship, I had the right to expect that my interests were +nearer to your heart. It upsets me to find I was mistaken. Have you so +little pride in the girl you propose to marry that it doesn't offend you +to see her gadding about with ex-servants? You saw them get up and leave +the table that night. You heard the front-door bang and knew that they'd +gone out together--my daughter with the fellow who used to put the studs +into your shirts! And there you sat with me, sipping your coffee and +chatting as though it were all perfectly right and normal. Upon my soul, +Taborley, you're beyond my comprehending. If I, her father, can feel +this indignation, what ought not you to feel? You're supposed to be her +lover and you're not jealous. So far as I can see, you're not even +disturbed." + +Tabs' face had gone suddenly white. He acknowledged to himself that, had +he been Terry's father, he would have said no less. When he spoke it was +with quiet intensity. + +"I am annoyed, Sir Tobias--a good deal more annoyed than I care to own +to myself; but I try not to let my annoyance obscure my sense of +justice. It isn't fair to consider Braithwaite in the light of a +servant. He isn't a servant; he's won his spurs. He arrived at the +position he occupies to-day through original and unaided merit. That the +man who was my servant, happens to be my rival, is bitterly galling. But +I'm not going to let it blind me to the fact that he has qualities of +greatness. He proved those qualities, even more than on the battlefield, +when he came to you and pluckily told you the truth about himself. God +knows what he thought to gain by it; but I'm hats off to him." + +Sir Tobias threw out his hands in a disowning gesture. "I don't want to +quarrel with you--that's the last thing I desire. But I must confess +that I fail to sympathize with your attitude of mind. Magnanimity is all +very well, but it's easy to be magnanimous where your affections aren't +too deeply concerned. A man in love has no right to be magnanimous--it +isn't a healthy sign. Lady Beddow used those very words to me this +morning. She feels as I do, that in your attitude to Terry you lack +something. You've let two days elapse since you asked my permission to +approach her---- You're the same with this Maisie woman--inhumanly, +unsatisfactorily magnanimous. You don't identify yourself with our +antipathies--you almost side with the people who affront us. It's +estranging and distressing. I like a man to be more emphatic in his +loyalties and aversions. I like him to show more fire. In days that I +can almost remember, Braithwaite's intrusion would have been an occasion +for a duel. Terry's mother feels the same about you; it makes her +unhappy. 'He lacks ardor'--that was how she expressed it. 'Perhaps, +after all, he's too old for Terry,' she said. Personally I don't go as +far as that." + +Now that he had made an end, Sir Tobias attempted to beam on Tabs with +his accustomed suavity. He was skillful in saying offensive things with +an air of consideration. When he had said, "Personally I don't go as far +as that," he had leant out and patted Tabs' hand with a senile display +of affection. + +_Too old for Terry!_ Tabs sat pondering the words. They voiced his own +doubt--the doubt that had haunted him from the moment of his return. The +antiquated version of Shakespeare sat watching him, plucking at his +pointed beard and blinking his faded eyes shrewdly. + +Suddenly with a cavalier smile of conquest, which was strangely +unwarranted, Tabs swung himself to his feet. "Well, Sir Tobias, we've +talked for more than our half hour. After all, it doesn't matter a +continental what you, or I, or Lady Beddow feels. It's Terry's feelings +that count. I shall know what she feels before the afternoon is ended." + +He was holding out his hand to the surprised old gentleman, when the +door opened just sufficiently to admit Terry's head. + +"Come on, your Lordship!" she laughed mockingly, "you've kept me waiting +long enough." + + + + +CHAPTER THE SIXTH + +TRAMPLED ROSES + + +I + +As Tabs emerged from his interview with Sir Tobias, he found Terry +standing in the hall, doing up the last button of her gloves. James, of +the velvet-plush manners, lost no time in proffering him his hat and +cane, and in flinging the front-door wide. He did it with the air of a +sentimentalist who was aiding and abetting an elopement. Tabs had the +feeling as he limped along the pavement with Terry tripping at his side, +that the eyes of the house which they had left followed them--followed +them jealously, romantically, expectantly. There was only one way in +which they could give satisfaction and that was by returning to it +engaged. + +"He lacks ardor. Perhaps, after all, he's too old!" Lady Beddow's +criticism drummed in his mind. Not very pleasant hearing! + +Silence was maintained till they had rounded a corner and the tall buff +house was left behind. Then Terry raised a shy, laughing face. +"Downcast, Tabs? You look as though you were bearing the sins of all the +world." + +"Not of all the world!" he corrected gravely. "Only of three people." + +"Then I'm one of them. Who are the other two?" + +"You know already--Mrs. Lockwood and Braithwaite. I saved all your +necks, but I broke my own." + +She brushed against him affectionately. "Tabs, you're a trump." + +Her praise displeased him. "I didn't tell you for that." + +"Then why?" + +"Because I thought you ought to know." He slackened his pace. "I thought +you ought to know that your father isn't as keen on me as he was, +Terry." + +"That's all right," she said cheerily; "I am. But what have you been +doing to Daddy?" + +"Describing Mrs. Lockwood as a lady above reproach and accusing him of +uncharity towards Braithwaite." + +She tossed her head and laughed outright. "You _have_ become converted!" + +"Converted!" He pondered her assertion. "No. I'll acknowledge that I was +inclined to be too harsh at first. I may have become more pitiful; but +I've not become converted, if by that you mean that I condone what these +two people have done. I still think that Mrs. Lockwood's conduct with +Adair was inexcusable and that Braithwaite's holding back the truth from +you was dishonorable. In talking with your father I gave Braithwaite all +the credit for speaking out to him like a man, and I let him suppose +that Mrs. Lockwood had given up Adair unconditionally. As you know, +Braithwaite didn't come up to scratch till I'd handed him your +ultimatum; and Mrs. Lockwood---- But you don't know about her yet. I +haven't told you." + +"I know," Terry smiled roguishly. "Maisie's a great abuser of the +telephone. She called me up this morning to ask whether she might share +you with me for a few weeks. When I asked her why, she said to help her +to forget Adair. Of course I consented." + +Tabs looked down at his companion to see whether her last remark had +been sarcastic; to his discomfort he found that it hadn't. "I'm not sure +that I like to be lent round like that," he objected. "I was sorry for +her last night and promised to help her; but this phoning you up to ask +your permission puts an entirely erroneous complexion on the affair." + +"Not erroneous if I understand," she assured him, glancing up with +tender frankness. + +He smiled at the way she cozened him. Was she willing to lend him to +another woman because she was so sure of him, or because she didn't care +whether she lost him? + +"Your father suspects me of being lukewarm about you," he said; "and I +can't blame him. He knows nothing about our meeting yesterday. He +doesn't know that you care for Braithwaite. All he knows is that I asked +his permission to approach you and then let two days elapse. When I did +come to his house again it was to defend the two people who have caused +him most annoyance. My reason for defending them was that I might make +things easier for you. But my position is false, Terry. Every day your +parents are expecting that we'll become engaged; every day that we +don't----" + +They had come to the Marble Arch. "Shall we hop into a taxi?" he +enquired. + +She shook her head. "Let's walk a little farther--down to Hyde Park +Corner. It's easier to say things." + +When he had helped her through the traffic and they were sauntering +through the Park, she took up the thread of their conversation. "I told +you yesterday that I was willing to become engaged to you. I'm willing +to-day." + +"_Willing!_" he emphasized. "But you don't _want_. The man you love is +Braithwaite. What difference has this confession of his made?" + +She shrugged her shoulders and looked away, so that he should not see +the quivering of her mouth. "It's made everything impossible. I admire +him more than ever. I admire him for having told the truth and for +having climbed so far up by his gallantry. But---- I'm no fool, Tabs. I +know that I couldn't marry him without bringing ridicule upon all of us. +Noble notions about human equality don't work in practice. He's what he +is--fine of his kind. He's finer than you or I, Tabs, only he's not our +sort. He couldn't ever become our sort. If I were as big as he is, I +might not mind. But I'm little and mean; I care so much for caste. And +yet, in spite of that, I want to marry him. I oughtn't to tell you, of +all people. But I can't tell him and I can't tell any one--any one but +you, Tabs. I want him so much that I'm ashamed sometimes. I wouldn't +have my people know it, so you must stick by me. Do at least as much for +me as you promised to do for Maisie--stay with me till I can forget +him." And then she added ruefully, "It isn't much fun for you after all +you'd expected." + +He couldn't afford to let her become emotional. Riders and smart +equipages were passing. Several times already they had been recognized. +The introduction of Maisie's name supplied him with a loophole. "Mrs. +Lockwood rather adds to our complication. If I'm not engaged to you and +I see something of her, your father will never understand. If I were +your father, I wouldn't. To be perfectly frank, he thinks already that +I'm lenient to Maisie only because she's good-looking----" + +Terry didn't permit him to get further. "Daddy's probably right. Be +honest, Tabs. Would you have stood up for her, if you'd found her fat +and forty? Of course you wouldn't. Maisie's a dear, but she's dangerous. +She can't help being dangerous; it's half her attraction. By the way, +we've been walking entirely in the wrong direction." + +They had come out by Hyde Park Corner. "How do you make that out?" he +asked. "I thought we would lunch at the Ritz." + +She began to apologize. "Before I met you this morning, I'd arranged for +us to lunch with her--I mean with Maisie. You don't mind, do you? I was +speaking with her over the phone and she said we must come because she +didn't feel safe." + +"She said that to you, too! She said the same thing to me. But you and +I, do we want her?" + +Terry nodded, making her eyes wide. "We'll all make each other more +safe. That's what friends are for. I told her we'd be at her house by +one." + +"If you told her that----" He was trying to discover whether he was +relieved or disappointed. With an eagerness which it was hard to account +for, he was wondering whether Lady Dawn would be there. He pulled out +his watch. "Twelve-forty-five. We can just do it in a taxi. If you told +her that, we'd better stick to your plans." + +He hailed a driver who was passing and helped her into the cab. + + +II + +As he and Terry chugged their way to Mulberry Tree Court he eyed her, +sitting beside him. Would he ever get her? If he did, would she prove to +be one of his really big things? All men must have thought that their +wives would be the really big things in their lives before they married +them. How many of them thought that six months after they were married? +There was Adair, for instance. But his wife was going to be the big +thing--on that he was determined. + +And yet, it wasn't very big of Terry to be using him as a stalking-horse +for her love for Braithwaite; he felt morally certain that that was what +she was doing. She hadn't acknowledged to having seen him, but Tabs felt +instinctively that she had seen him. He also felt that within the next +twenty-four hours she would be seeing him again. It was impossible for +him to accuse her of clandestine meetings of which he had no proof; at +the same time he was distressed by the restraint that was put upon +himself. As things were, anything might happen. When it did happen, it +would happen suddenly and he would be in a measure to blame. + +And here again, in this luncheon with Maisie, he was being made a party +to her policy of secrecy. There could be no doubt that Sir Tobias was in +ignorance of her continual correspondence with Maisie. + +He looked at her. How near she seemed to him and yet in reality what +miles away! He could listen to her voice. He could touch her. But he +could not foresee a single one of her future actions. She was remote and +strange and dear. She had offered to become engaged to him, but she was +no part of him. She filled him with discomfort and unrest. For the first +time he dared to frame his charge against her. It was in almost the same +words as the charge which she herself had brought against Braithwaite. +He could love her so that it seemed that if he did not win her, he would +never be able to love any other woman; but he could not trust her. He +began to question whether she had ever been the woman he had tried to +think her. Perhaps she was only a dummy and his imagination had clothed +her with affection. He had attributed to her adorable qualities---- + +When all was said, how little he really knew about her! His need of her +fought with his sense of discretion. It was not dignified that a man of +his position and years should allow himself to become a shuttlecock in +the hands of her capricious inexperience. Would he ever be able to +bridge that gulf of years! Lady Beddow's unhappy criticism haunted him. +"He lacks ardor." Perhaps she was right; experience should marry +experience and inexperience inexperience. + +As they sped down the Brompton Road, they passed the end of Honeymoon +Square. In the enclosed garden among spring flowers children were still +playing. Scattered here and there, under the thin shade of blossoming +trees, he caught glimpses of white prams with their attendant nurses. +The little houses--his own among them--stood all a-row, shoulder to +shoulder, looking intensely smiling and habitable. His imagination +reconjured all the midnights they had witnessed--the home-comings under +cover of darkness, the secret endearments of lovers, the muffled +laughter. Then he remembered his own dream, which he had planned to +share with her. It was intolerable that it should escape conversion into +reality. + +It seemed little short of marvelous that she should still sit beside +him. She should have vanished with the Square. Had he given her a name, +he would have called her his lady in heliotrope, for she was dressed in +a heliotrope gown, trimmed round the hem and throat with gray opossum +and topped with a little close-fitting turban of color and fur to match. +She looked so dainty and subtly haughty, so austere in her virginal +beauty, that it seemed to him he must have wronged her with his silent +conjectures. + +"You're more than ordinarily pretty to-day," he said. + +"Am I? What you mean, I suppose, is that you like my gown. It's a new +one. I'm wearing it for the first time, especially for you." + +She turned her laughing face towards him, violet eyes, flushed cheeks, +golden hair, white teeth--everything aflash with instant gratitude. The +discovery of how easily he could command her happiness touched him. + +"Can I make you as merry as all that just by telling you you're +beautiful?" + +She compressed her lips and nodded. "It's not being told. That doesn't +matter. It's being told by you." + +He felt for the moment that he had recovered her--that he had bridged +the gulf of the years that divided. Before anything further could be +said, they were halting in Mulberry Tree Court. + + +III + +On entering the house with the marigold-tinted curtains he had glanced +round casually for any signs of Lady Dawn. After Porter had shown him +into the drawing-room Terry had left him to go in search of Maisie. He +walked over to the tall French-windows and found himself once more +gazing out on the garden-rockery with its oval lake, its silent fountain +and its toy-boat that never sailed anywhere. He made an effort to +continue gazing out, for his impulse was to turn and look at the +portrait over the fireplace. He tantalized himself by trying to ignore +it. But it was strange the fascination that it held for him. He had the +feeling that behind his back the face had changed from the profile +position in which it had been painted, so that the steady stone-gray +eyes were challenging his attention. At last he resisted no longer; +walking over to the fireplace, he stood gazing up at it. + +For a moment he tried to pretend to himself that his interest was purely +an art-interest. It was Sargent's brush-work that he was admiring. Then +he smiled, as much to the portrait as to himself. "Princess Czarina +Bolsheviki," he murmured, "were you really looking at me when my back +was turned? Did you flash your eyes away directly I obeyed your desire? +It's the trick of every woman; but you're not like every woman, Princess +Czarina Bolsheviki." + +It seemed to him almost as though the woman on the canvas was about to +relax her pose and quiver into life. The longer he looked, the less +aloof she became and the more her serenity trembled. He felt that he +knew so much about her--so very much more than he had ever been told. +There were experiences of pride and terror which were common to them +both--the pride and terror of appalling heart-hunger. He knew for +certain, as though those painted lips had confessed it, that he was the +one man in the world who had the power to make her cry. And yet he +dissociated in his mind the woman of the portrait from the woman who had +slipped past him out of the night with the taunting, sideways smile of +feminine triumph. The living woman could wound and disappoint; the +woman of the portrait was his friend entirely. + +He was startled out of the mood into which he had fallen by the sound of +footsteps crossing the hall. He was not going to be discovered in that +position by Maisie for a second time. He had barely recovered his place +by the French window, when she and Terry entered laughing. It would have +been easy to have mistaken them for sisters, with their golden heads and +clear complexions. Directly he caught sight of them he guessed by the +mischief in their eyes that their laughter had been at his expense. It +was Terry who spoke. "Oh, Tabs, how could you? It was like a little +frightened boy." + +He glanced from one to the other of them for further enlightenment. "Do +what? If you'll let me know, I'll tell you." + +"Run away, like you did last night," Maisie explained. "I've just been +describing it to Terry. There was I sitting on the couch when Di +entered. The first thing she asked me was, 'Who's your new butler?' I +wouldn't tell her. 'He'll be here in a minute,' I said; 'I'll introduce +him to you.' We waited for about a minute and, when you didn't come, I +went out into the hall. 'He's gone, Madam,' Porter told me in her most +Mayfair manner. 'Gone!' I exclaimed. 'He can't have gone without saying +good-by.' But I was afraid you had, so I went on to the steps and called +after you. I don't know whether you heard me. When I came back into the +drawing-room, Di was smiling. 'I've read about lordly butlers,' she +said, 'but it's the first time I ever met one.' So there you are! You +can imagine what a trouble I had to clear myself. I only downed her +suspicions when I assured her that you were on the point of becoming +engaged to Terry." + +Instantly Terry's eyes sought his; the laughter died out of them. He +shared her annoyance that Lady Dawn should have received this piece of +information--Lady Dawn of all persons. He wasn't engaged to Terry. He +was a long way from being engaged to her--perhaps further at this moment +than since his return. + +The silence that followed made Maisie aware that she had been guilty of +a mistake. He suspected that she had intended to be guilty of it from +the start. Nevertheless, she played the part of innocence, making her +cornflower eyes eloquent with apology. "Oh, I'm afraid I've put my foot +in it. But you are almost engaged, aren't you?" + +Tabs laughed good-humoredly. "It's all right, Mrs. Lockwood. You didn't +mean to, but you've paid me back in more than my own coin." + +Porter relieved the tension at that moment by announcing that lunch was +served. + +When they had taken their seats in the front-room, overlooking the +make-believe village-green, Terry surprised them by saying carelessly, +"Oh, Maisie, you remember General Braithwaite whom we nursed in our +hospital?" + +Maisie looked up sharply, trying to warn her that Porter was still +present. "Of course I remember him," she said. "Since then we've both +met him a hundred times. I think Lord Taborley would like some bread, +Porter." + +But Terry wasn't to be deterred. She seemed to be taking a perverse +delight in introducing the one subject on which it would have been most +fitting for her to have remained silent. "Since Tabs came back we've +found out all about the General. You'll never guess who he really is or +was. It's difficult to say whether he is or was, now that he's +demobilized." + +Tabs recognized the blaze of recklessness in her eyes, like the glare of +lighted windows after nightfall from which the curtains have been +suddenly thrown back. He had seen that look in her eyes at the hunt +when, in disobedience to shouted warnings, she had looked back across +her shoulder challengingly before taking an audacious jump. There was in +her expression the fear of the thing she was about to do and the panic +of determination to get it done. He attempted to turn her aside from the +danger by slipping in quietly, "I don't think I'd discuss the General at +this moment." + +"At this moment!" she flashed back with a scared smile. The sound of her +own voice seemed to clap spurs to her excitement. "Why not at this +moment, dear Tabs? Everything comes out sooner or later. If there's +going to be any spreading of gossip, one takes the sting out of it by +being the first to spread it. Besides, you oughtn't to mind. You ought +to feel most frightfully bucked." + +"Nevertheless, I don't think I'd say it." + +Then he held his breath for, paying no heed to him, she had turned to +Maisie. "You mustn't laugh, but it's too good to keep to oneself. +Before he was a General, what do you think he did for a living? He used +to clean Lord Taborley's boots. You don't believe it, but it's a fact. +Daddy's terribly grim with me over it. Of course it was _infra dig_ to +go footing all over town with your best friend's valet. But how was I to +know that he'd been that? Daddy says I ought to have sensed it, if I'd +had any sort of a social instinct. But here's the funniest thing of all, +the way we made the discovery. I'd invited him to dine at our house on +the very night that Tabs was Daddy's guest. I'll never forget your +faces, Tabs, when Daddy introduced the two of you." She commenced to +pantomime the scene with forced gayety; then she pretended to become +aware for the first time that they weren't joining in her laughter. + +"What's wrong? You look as solemn as a funeral. Don't you find it +amusing?" + +Porter was leaving the room. Maisie waited till the door had closed. +Then, "You didn't intend it to be amusing. Why on earth did you say all +this before her?" + +Under the rebuke Terry's face flushed defiance. She was near to tears, +but she contrived to go on smiling. "When I want all the world to know +anything that's private, I mention it before servants. It always works." + +"But----" Maisie was at a loss to find a motive for such indiscretion. +She glanced helplessly at Tabs. "But," she objected, "surely you don't +want all the world to know about this, Terry? You and the General have +been such good pals, and---- I have to say it, even though Lord +Taborley is present: there were a great number of your friends who were +rather afraid----" + +"Then they won't have to be afraid any longer," Terry cut in with icy +sweetness. "When it's reported to the General that I've told this story, +he won't have to be rather afraid either. It'll set all his doubts at +rest." + +Tabs had sat puzzled and horrified while she had been talking. +Everything that he could remember about her was gentle; it wasn't like +her to be cruel. Now at last he realized that it was for his sake that +she was being cruel--far more cruel to herself than to any one else. She +had so little faith in her strength to break with Braithwaite that she +was building up a protective wall of contempt by the spread of this +damaging story. If Braithwaite heard it, she might well hope to rouse +his hatred and save herself further effort. + +From across the table her eyes sought his in appeal; his answered hers +with intuitive comprehension. But his mind was stunned with apprehension +at the discovery that her passion for this man meant so much that his +hate would be a lighter burden than his love. + +Maisie turned to Tabs with veiled disdain. "I suppose it was you who +told her this, Lord Taborley?" + +He paid her scant attention and continued looking at Terry. "On the +contrary." He spoke with unruffled urbanity. "It was General +Braithwaite--Steely Jack as he was nicknamed in the Army. He never lost +an inch of trench, so they say. Like your own first husband, Mrs. +Lockwood, he's most to be feared when every one else would have given up +hoping. Like myself, though he doesn't know it, he's a round-the-corner +person. Curious, Terry, that you should have attracted two +round-the-corner admirers! It makes one almost believe that you're a +round-the-corner person yourself." + +He had said it without consciousness of magnanimity. There was nothing +magnanimous about stating the truth according to his code of honor. He +was seeing the bleak look that would come into Braithwaite's face should +he hear of this happening. He was wondering whether Braithwaite +possessed the insight into feminine strategy not to take offense, but to +interpret it as surrender. + +Terry was speaking again. "My dear Maisie, if ever you get to know Lord +Taborley, you'll learn to have a better opinion of him. He plays with +all his cards on the table. I think most men play like that. It's we +women who cheat and carry spare aces and revoke when the game's going +against us." Then came her amazing burst of frankness, "Like you did +when, to suit your own purpose, you pretended that we were on the point +of becoming engaged. Like I did when I told that story just now about +Steely Jack. And again like you've done all along in your dealings with +Adair. Why, even now, when you're ready to give him up, you can't play +the cards that are on the table; you have to try to borrow Lord Taborley +from me. Don't get angry. I'm not accusing you especially. We women are +all the same; there's not one of us who can stick to the rules of the +game." Her glance shifted to Tabs. "You used to think that I was the +exception. You see, I'm not. The wonder is that men can even pretend to +respect us." + +Long after she had finished and the conversation had taken a new turn, +she went on gazing at him, raising and lowering her eyes as she ate her +lunch, begging him to understand. + +"You're wrong, Terry." In her capacity as hostess, Maisie was making an +attempt to get away from personalities. She was too convicted by what +had been said to consider it wise to defend herself. "You're wrong. Men +don't want to respect us. They love us for having faults that they +wouldn't tolerate in themselves. They encourage us to cultivate them. It +flatters their integrity to discover our dishonesties. They like to +believe that we're cowards. They don't expect us to tell the truth. They +almost resent our having a sense of honor. The woman who cheats at every +turn and then cries in their arms when she's found out, is the kind of +woman who always has a man to take care of her. Look at my sister, Lady +Dawn. She's never been known to cry. She's missed everything in life +through being almost repellently honorable." + +In the discussion that followed Tabs took no part, though he was often +appealed to for an opinion. As he listened to their modulated flow of +voices, their refined and gentle intonations, their evasive, slyly +uttered words, he began to have an understanding of what was taking +place. It was something primitive--the oldest of all battles. Neither +of them wanted him, but each was prompted to covet the pretense of his +possession. Their hunting instincts were aroused. He had taken on a +sudden value in their eyes because each had discovered that the other +was in pursuit of him. + +His thoughts went back to Lady Dawn--to her pale aloofness. She wasn't +like this--she was different from all other women. It was ridiculous +that he should be so sure that she was different when his only proof was +a portrait, quite certainly idealized. He began to argue with himself +again as to whether he ought to seek her out and endanger her serenity +by telling her about Lord Dawn. It would be useless to confide such +intentions to Maisie. He would obtain no help from her. She could +conceive of no sympathy between a man and woman into which sex did not +enter. The thought of sex in connection with Lady Dawn seemed an +impertinence. + +The discussion went on. Luncheon was at an end. Coffee had been served. +Cigarettes were being lighted. Again and again he was referred to. Did +he think this and didn't he agree to that? Wasn't this true of the way +in which men regarded women? Their differences of opinion seemed so +trivial. Their views so immature and amateurish. He watched them with +curious, brooding attention. They were so nobly tender in their outward +forms. He appreciated the grace of their gestures, the fine-boned +smallness of their bodies, the delicacy of their molding, the tendril +thinness of their fingers, the sagacity of their tiny aristocratic +heads, the seduction of their soft red mouths, the poetry of the fringe +of golden lashes in which the pathos of their eyes hung enmeshed--their +intrusive, penetrating frailty, which supplicated, denounced and +astounded. They were so weak and yet so strong. A man could crush them +with one arm. But they could slay a man's soul with their sweetness. +They were equipped in every detail by their pale perfection to quicken +and to disappoint. To disappoint! That was what they had been trying to +persuade him for the past half-hour--that they were Nature's traps, +cunningly contrived and baited. _The Philistines be upon thee, Samson!_ +Their self-traductions were undermining his faith in all sacredness. + +In the silence of his brain he fought--fought against disillusion, +claiming exemption for at least one woman from these sweeping +denunciations--the woman in the portrait. + +A man had been passing and repassing the windows, cut into triangles by +the looped back, marigold-tinted curtains. At first he had mistaken him +for a different man each time he had passed. Then the lazy certainty had +grown up within him that it was always the same man. A man who wanted +something--wanted something that was in that house. It wasn't possible +to make out his features. He wore a morning-coat and was top-hatted. The +swing of his carriage was indefinitely familiar. + +And now he had vanished--lost courage, lost patience, given up his +quest, perhaps. Through the triangular gaps in the panes the +village-green showed untraversed, sunlit, tranquil, garnished. + +Without knocking Porter entered, looking worried. + +Maisie broke off from her conversation long enough to say, "A little +later, Porter. We're not finished." + +She was resuming, when Porter again interrupted. "It isn't that, Madam. +It isn't----" + +"Then what is it?" + +With an elaborate air of caution Porter closed the door and set her back +against it. "I've told him that it's no good. That you won't see him, +Madam." + +"Of course not. That's quite right." Maisie bestowed her approval with +rapid tolerance. "I can't see any one at present." Then, as an +after-thought, "By the way, who is it?" + +It was then that Porter let fall her bomb. "It's no good my telling him. +He won't go away." Her firmness crumbled. She bleated in a dramatic +surrender to distress. The three who heard her caught the commotion of +her alarm and waited breathless. Her explanation came at last. "It's Mr. +Easterday." The moment she had said it, she turned and fled. + +The door had scarcely closed, when Maisie rose from her chair and stood +swaying. She sank back, closing her eyes and pressing her hands against +her breast. The mask of placidity had been wrenched from her face, +leaving it blanched with the conflict between yearning, temptation and +loneliness. + +"Adair!" she moaned. "My God, I daren't trust myself!" + +Unclosing her eyes, she gazed burningly at Tabs. + +"I was honest in what I promised. I do want to live as though Reggie +weren't dead. How did you put it? As though he were round the corner. As +though he were truly coming back." + +In the silence that followed she stifled a sob, realizing that it wasn't +Tabs who was the obstacle. Turning hysterically to Terry, she laid hold +of both her hands. "I can't do it--_can't, can't_ by myself. I can only +do it if you'll tell Lord Taborley to help me." + + +IV + +At a nod from Terry he left the table. In the hall he found an odd sight +waiting for him. He had to look twice to make certain that this was the +Adair Easterday whom he had known, and not a strayed and beflustered +wedding-guest. + +The man before him was worried to distraction. He had the unhappy, +panic-stricken eyes of an over-driven bullock that scents the +slaughterhouse. And yet his dress was immaculate; he was tailored and +laundered as though for an occasion of joy. Everything that he wore was +discreetly festive, from the lavender gloves and shiny topper to the +striped trousers and canvas spats. One would have said that he was a +caricature of George Grossmith on his way to a garden-party. + +But he was hot--terribly hot; far more hot than he had any excuse for +being in brisk spring weather. There were beads of perspiration on his +forehead; his face was congested with excitement. To lend the touch of +humor, which always lurks behind other people's tragedies, he held his +top-hat by the brim in his right hand, as though he were taking a +collection, while from his left, like a feather-duster, trailed an +enormous bunch of roses. He was a short man in the late thirties, +red-headed and inclined to be podgy. He was not built to express poetic +passions--how many of us are, if it comes to that?--or to sustain their +onslaught with dignity. Emotion seemed to have bloated him with unshed +tears. There was nothing noble in his distress--only a farcical +appearance of wretchedness. + +As Tabs crossed the hall to the front-door, just inside of which Adair +was standing, he felt an undeserved compassion for him--the kind of +compassion one feels for a clumsy dog, which is always getting under +people's feet. At the same time he couldn't help marveling that there +should be two women at the same time in the world who were willing to +compete for such a man's affections. + +"I happened to be lunching here," Tabs commenced conventionally. But he +altered his tactics promptly. In the presence of his friend's +self-advertised misery nothing but the briefest truth seemed adequate. + +"Old man, it's no good. She won't see you. She doesn't want you." +Forgetting his sense of justice, he placed his hand affectionately on +Adair's shoulder. + +Adair stared in a full-blown way and nodded. "She never did want me." + +He passed no comment on this unforeseen meeting in the little house with +the marigold-tinted curtains. He manifested no resentment against this +familiar angel who had been deputed to bar the gates of Eden to his +approaches. He was incapable of surprise. He was obsessed by the +solitary idea of his own forlornness. "I knew it. She never did want +me." And then, in a rush of self-pity, "No one ever wanted me." + +"Except Phyllis," Tabs suggested. + +Adair appeared not to have heard. He stood like a living statue, his +top-hat extended, his bunch of roses dangling--the picture of idiotic +futility. Genuine emotion, however mean its origin, always has its grand +moments. Tabs forgot the silly beginnings of this upset and the endless +troubles it had caused. All he saw was a typical ragamuffin of humanity +in the grip of the policeman, Nemesis. Adair had been caught trying to +do what thousands of other ragamuffins achieved daily with success. He +had been arrested red-handed in the act of stealing forbidden happiness. +It was his first offense. He was inexpert and had bungled. He had +bungled because, while assuming the role of roguery, he had remained at +heart an honest man. Now that he was caught, he took the exposure of his +dishonesty too seriously. + +Tabs had almost forgotten that he had been the last to speak, when Adair +repeated his exact words, "Except Phyllis!" And then, "Poor kid! She, +too, is unhappy." + +Through the marshy obscurities of his humiliation his conscience was +building a path. With his two hands he crushed his topper back onto his +head. The act had the vehemence of decision. In the doing of it he +dropped the roses to the floor. There they lay forgotten--so forgotten +that he placed his foot on them without noticing. + +"Home! Best be going home," he muttered. + +Without further explanation, he drew back the latch and let himself out +into the sunlit Court. Delaying long enough to pick up his hat and cane, +Tabs followed. + +Adair gave no sign of recognition as he caught up with him. Failing to +hail a taxi, they boarded a bus. Tabs paid the fares. Adair sat like +Napoleon after Waterloo, taking no notice of anything. It was the +intensity of his thoughts that kept him silent--not moroseness. + +They had reached Clapham Common and had come to his garden-gate, before +he acknowledged Tabs' presence. + +"I was a fool. I deserved it," he said sadly. "It's ended in exactly the +way that any sane man would have expected." + +Kicking the gate open, he passed up the path. From the Common Tabs +watched him, till he was safely within the house and the door had shut. + +As he turned away, he scarcely knew whether to laugh or feel vexed. The +misfortunes of others can always be traced to folly; it is only our own +misfortunes that are never deserved and never anything less than august. +If Adair's love-affair had appeared ridiculous in his eyes, probably his +own would afford materials for jest to some one else. + +He couldn't forget the top-hat and the trampled roses. The +ineffectualness of all passion loomed large. It might have its value as +an educative process, but what a waste of energy! For the moment he drew +no distinction between Adair's guilty hankering after something which +was forbidden and his own honorable love for Terry. The end of all +passion was futility. + +Then he laughed, for in imagination he saw the world as a crestfallen +caricature of George Grossmith, top-hatted and bespatted, wending its +unfestive way through the centuries to an eternal garden-party, from +which Adam and his lineage were forever debarred. + + +V + +His exit from Mulberry Tree Court had been so hurried that he had had no +time to make arrangements with Terry. + +He had no sooner knocked than the door was opened by Maisie. He was +slightly embarrassed at being brought face to face with her thus +suddenly after the last scene that they had shared. He entered in a +tentative manner, only just crossing the threshold, as though he had not +much time to spare. + +"I called in," he apologized, "because I thought you'd like to know what +happened--and to fetch Terry." + +"Of course." She spoke with a cheerfulness that astonished him. "I was +expecting you." With that she led the way across the hall to the +drawing-room. + +Carrying his hat, he followed. He clung to his hat purposely; it would +serve as a reminder that he had not come to stay long. She was on the +point of seating herself, when she spotted it. "Oh, how rude of me!" In +the twinkling of an eye she had deprived him of it and vanished. +"Captured once more!" he thought. + +During the few seconds that she was gone, he looked about him. +Everything was as it had been yesterday. A companionable fire glowed in +the grate. On a table beside the couch tea was spread. Even as +yesterday, the nearest chair to the couch was at least six feet away, +making it necessary for any one who did not wish to appear boorish to +share the couch with her. There was something else that he had noticed +on entering: while he had been away she had made a complete change of +toilet. She was now dressed in a filmy gown of emerald green, with +shoes, stockings and buckles to match. It was a gown so _chic_ that, had +he been a woman, he would have guessed at once that it was the latest +from Paquin's. Inasmuch as he was a man, his sole comment was, "Plucky +little thorough-bred! You don't catch her owning that she's down." The +emerald shade brought out all the values of her coloring, the faint rose +of her complexion, the daffodil gold of her flaxen hair. He had expected +to be bored by a Magdalene repentant; instead he had found himself +confronted by a challenging young Diana. His admiration went out to her +for her courage. + +Having come back and resettled herself on the couch, she smiled up at +him through flickering lashes. "A nice frock, don't you think? Nothing +like a new frock after a knock-out for restoring your self-respect." + +"It's a charming frock. Where's Terry?" + +She clasped her small hands about her knees, leaning her head far back +so that her eyes glinted up at his languidly. Perhaps it was necessary +to do that in order to see him properly. He was still standing. And yet +her attitude served another purpose; it called attention to the firm +young lines of her bust and throat, and to the voluptuous curve of her +lips, parted in patient expectancy. + +"Terry!" Her voice sounded drowsy. "I forgot. I ought to have given you +her message. She couldn't stop. She had another engagement." + +"An engagement!" He was dumbfounded. "That's strange! She never said +anything---- Are you sure she didn't invent it?" + +"Certain." Maisie sat up fully awake now. "Quite positive. But she had +made up her mind not to keep it till, through no fault of yours, you +gave her the chance. You don't want to believe that; it sounds as though +she had cheated. You don't know much about women, Lord Taborley. You +don't know because you refuse to learn. You're determined, in the face +of every proof to the contrary, to live and die in the faith that we're +angels." She shook her finger at him. He was amused to discover that he +was being scolded. "Angels! We're far from it. We're very much like you +men, with this difference, that we're cowards. What you need--this may +sound entirely wrong--is a good sensible woman to take you in hand, and +give you a run for your money, and teach you your own value. Why, with +your position and charm----" + +"You must excuse my interrupting. Of course it all depends on what you +mean by a run for my money. But are there many good and sensible women +who are game for an adventure of that sort?" + +"Heaps of them," she assured him, imitating his mock seriousness. "The +more outwardly good and sensible, the more inwardly they're willing." + +"Humph!" He pretended to be pondering this gem of information. And then, +"But you have to own, Mrs. Lockwood, that Terry's not----" + +She blocked his protest with a gay little laugh. "I make no exceptions. +Terry's exactly like the rest of us--younger and more innocent looking, +no doubt, but just as imperfect. As regards this engagement of hers, she +breathed no word of it until you had gone. Then she began to flirt with +the idea that she might be able to keep it. At last she couldn't resist +the temptation any longer. Out she came with it, that she must be going. +I'd lay a wager I could name the person with whom----" + +"You'd lose your wager." + +"I think not." She met the threatened tempest in his eyes with calmness. + +"Would you give a name to this person?" + +"Where's the good?" She shrugged her dainty shoulders. "We both know it? +Steely Jack. Isn't that what you call him?" + +Instantly she leant forward. Her whole instinct was to touch him. She +hadn't intended to hurt him like that. He looked so defiant, and gaunt +and deserted--such a huge, scarred boy of a man. He reminded her of one +of those early war-posters, in which a solitary figure was depicted, +knee-deep in barbed wire, head bandaged, hurling the last of his bombs. + +"Please don't be angry," she pleaded. "I was clumsy; but I was trying to +help. When you helped me yesterday, you too were clumsy. You can't put +on a new frock, worse luck, the way I've done, to restore your +self-respect. But I do wish you'd buy a new something--a new race-horse +or a new car--I don't care what as long as it would make you swank. A +little swanking would do you all the good in the world; it would keep +Terry from knowing how much you care. Terry's not half good enough for +you; one day you'll acknowledge it. Still, if you really do think you +want her, you can bring her to heel any moment by putting on an +indifferent air. Look how jealously she flared up at me at lunch. It +makes a woman furious to see her rejections picked up as treasures by +another woman. The only reason why Terry brought you here to-day was to +see for herself just how deep an impression we'd made on each other." + +At last she mustered the courage to touch him. Reaching out, she took +his hand and drew him to her. He stood against her knees, looking down. + +Her voice was tender. "Some one had to say these things to you, just as +you had to say things to me that weren't altogether pleasant. So why +shouldn't I to you? After all, we're both in the same box, and the box +is labeled NOT WANTED. It pains me to see a man like you, wasting +himself on a girl who hasn't the sense to appreciate what he's +offering." She raised her eyes to his with a slow smile. "Don't mistake +me, Lord Taborley, I'm not trying to secure what you're offering for +myself." + +He began to see the drift of her argument. Before he could formulate it, +she herself had put it into words. "Can't we do a little missionary +work, you and I, by appreciating each other just a little?" + +Flinging prejudices to the winds, he took a place beside her on the +couch. Why shouldn't he? Why should he go on conserving himself so +scrupulously for a girl who didn't value his loyalty? + +"I should consider it a privilege to be appreciated by you," he said +gravely. "But let's start properly. How about dinner at the Berkeley? +After that, if you felt like it, we could do a theatre. Would that suit +you?" + + * * * * * + +It was close on midnight when they returned to Mulberry Tree Court. Not +until he was handing her out of the taxi and Porter was standing framed +in the open doorway, did he remember that he'd imparted none of his +important news concerning Adair. + +"About Adair----" he commenced. "Or shall I put him off till to-morrow?" + +"Till forever." As her feet touched the pavement, she swung around on +him with laughter. They had been very happy in the last six hours. She +pressed close against him. He caught the sparkle of her eyes as he +stooped above her and the faint, sweet fragrance of her hair. She rested +an ungloved hand on his arm. It looked dim like a large white moth that +had settled there. + +"I have few principles to guide me," she whispered, "but the few that I +have I observe. I never dig up my dead and I never botanize on the +graves of the past. Good-night. Merry dreams to you, Lord Taborley." + +With the suddenness of a phantom she went from him. There were a brief +few seconds while he heard the ripple of her laughter and the rustling +of her dress. Then the door closed. Save for the lamps of the waiting +taxi night was again eventless and dark. + + +VI + +That evening was the first of many such adventures. His tall limping +figure became a familiar sight in Mulberry Tree Court. + +Very early in their friendship he took her advice and delighted her by +purchasing a smart two-seater runabout which he drove himself. Sometimes +it was at her door shortly after breakfast to transport her to where +saddle-horses were waiting in the Park. Sometimes it would turn up about +lunch-time and stand impatiently chugging while she changed into sport's +clothes, after which it would dash away with her, humming contentedly, +into the depths of the country. It was the magic-carpet which obeyed all +her desires. After war-days, with their petrol shortages and restricted +travel, it seemed more than ordinarily magic. It made emphatic as +nothing else could have done, the freedom and serenity which peace had +restored. The very fleetness of its obedience prompted her to urge Tabs +to take her farther and ever farther afield. There were evenings when +they dined within sight of the sea beneath the red roofs of Rye and +started back for London across the Sussex downs, driving straight into +the eye of the sunset. There were afternoons when they drifted over the +Chiltern hills to where the spires and domes of Oxford rise, placid as +masts of a sunken ship in an encroaching sea of greenness. + +But it was most frequently nearing midnight when the quiet of the +secluded Court was wakened by the merry buzzing of the engine. At first +it would come from far away, drowsily like the song of a belated bee. +Then it would gather in volume and grow more lively, till it panted +round the little village-green and quavered into silence in front of +Maisie's door. Porter, with the gold light of the hall behind her, would +always be there on the threshold to receive her mistress. It was +difficult to guess what Porter thought. There were impromptu jaunts to +theaters and dances. Porter had seen many gay beginnings and tearful +endings. Her face was immobile and respectful at whatever hour he +called. + +It was a curious friendship that had developed between them--a +friendship which lived from hand to mouth, which had the appearance of +being more than a friendship, in which nothing was premeditated. Nothing +could be premeditated so far as he was concerned. Terry had first call +on all his leisure--not that she availed herself of it very often; +nevertheless, he held himself in readiness to break every engagement +for her. Maisie was his consolation prize when Terry had failed. Maisie +was not deceived as to the spare-man place that she held in his +affections. She was painfully aware that at any moment their friendship +might end as abruptly as it had started. On either side it was based on +a common need for kindness, a common tenderness and a common desire for +protection from loneliness. In a sense they were each a substitute for +something postponed and more satisfying. While he was making up to her +for the loss of Adair, she was trying to save him from the rashness of +committing himself too fatally to Terry. They were altruists, actuated +by self-interested motives. + +And yet it was a friendship not untinged by enmity. His enmity was +awakened when she became too possessive in the demands which she made +and especially when she let fall criticisms, however mild, concerning +Terry. These occurrences set him thinking of the other casuals who had +ventured on her doorstep, not meaning to stay, and had ended by hanging +up their hats in her hall. Her enmity was roused by the courteous +circumspection of his behavior. He never admitted her to the privacy of +his inmost thoughts. He could be gay and gallant and bountifully +generous, but he never permitted her to peep beneath the surface. He +addressed her invariably as Mrs. Lockwood. The use of her surname held +her at arm's length. She longed most frightfully to hear him call her by +the name that was less safe. She denied to herself that she wanted him +to make love to her; at the same time she was disappointed at the +persistency with which he held her off. She liked to believe that, if he +had made love to her, she would have rebuffed him. She rehearsed many +times the indignant words with which she would have set him in his +place; she would have reminded him that it was for Reggie Pollock she +was waiting--as though he were not dead, but only round the corner. To +her chagrin Tabs never gave her the least incentive to employ them. + +He saw her never more and frequently less than once a day. There was a +week at a stretch when he saw nothing of her. She bridged these tedious +intervals of expecting by the length of her telephone conversations. +Whenever he stayed away for long, she tortured herself with suspicions +that his courtship of Terry had begun to prosper. If he returned +debonair and smiling, she felt confirmed in these suspicions. He was +most dear to her when he returned in an under-mood of distress. She knew +then that she was necessary; to be necessary was the passion of her +heart. Then she would become gay and tender and mothering--an altogether +sweeter, gentler and more self-effacing Maisie. + +Whither were they drifting--toward marriage or only toward infatuation? +If you had asked Tabs, he would have replied promptly, "Toward neither." +He had promised to tide her over the dull spots. She had advised him to +take a course of education in his own value in order that he might +increase his worth to Terry. She had told him that he ought to let some +good sensible woman take him in hand and give him a run for his money. +They had accepted each other at their word--that was all. + +At the same time he knew that that was not all. He knew that if there +was one thing more irritating to her than being addressed as Mrs. +Lockwood, it was his way of treating her as if she were good and +sensible. Most women would feel affronted at hearing themselves spoken +of as anything other than sensible and good. Good and sensible women are +the pillars of society, but they are not usually regarded as attractive +companions for joyous excursions in two-seater runabouts. + +Neither of them was entirely insensitive to the conjectures that their +sudden intimacy had given rise to in the minds of onlookers. They were +both too well-known and were seen together in too many different places +to avoid the breath of gossip--even of scandal. Men were scarce after +the wholesale butchery of the war, especially bachelors of Lord +Taborley's class. Had he only had the conceit to know it, he had +returned to London a strong favorite for the season's matrimonial +sweepstakes. More than one anxious mother of unappropriated daughters +had set him down for preference on her list of eligibles. When +invitations poured in on him and were politely regretted, there was +consternation and puzzlement. The puzzlement vanished when the +explanation was whispered across a hundred dinner-tables, "Haven't you +heard? It's Maisie Lockwood." + +Then would follow details of how they had been seen at sundry theaters, +at half-a-dozen fashionable hotels and riding together in the Park. +"She mounted on one of Lord Taborley's horses of course." + +"It's quite a case," people said. "If he doesn't mean matrimony, it +would be decent to exercise more discretion. There used to be some talk +of Terry Beddow; that's completely ended. Queer the women men fall for, +even the quietest of them! No one's sane any longer. Had three husbands +already, hasn't she? Quite a crowd! One would scarcely have supposed +that an exclusive chap like Taborley would have joined in the queue to +make a fourth. And he could have had almost any girl for the asking. +There's never any telling." + +Veiled references began to appear in the society columns; but not so +veiled that they could not be recognized. "A romance is developing +between a noble lord, who served in the ranks during the war, and a +vivacious beauty, three times widowed, well-known in fashionable +circles, etc." One paper published a photograph of them riding side by +side. After that sceptics who had not seen for themselves, were +persuaded. + +It was a mad world--a world in which it was not safe to be censorious. +The lid was off the conventions. Every one was shouting for +happiness--happiness at all costs. When they could not get it for the +asking, they were taking it without thought of law or penalties. There +were few who could afford to sit in judgment and many who preferred to +laugh. The day of authority was over. Traditions were no longer +respected. While the war was on, men and women had been drilled into +dumb acquiescence; now that the drilling was abolished, they had become +a mob, avid, leaderless and uproarious. + +Tabs came to realize that he was not alone in his lost sense of +direction. The right to live had been restored, but neither individuals +nor nations were sure what they wanted to do with it. After having been +as one in their sacrificial certainty, they had arrived at a cross-roads +where there was no policeman to take charge. They had broken up into +little groups, gathered about their own vociferous stump-orators. The +result was babel. Of orators there were a plenty. They abused one +another across the Irish Sea. They tried to shout one another down +across the Atlantic Ocean. But the hammer-head men of righteousness were +gone. After the apocalyptic splendor of mailed knights of Christ +charging stern-faced down to Armageddon, the results of victory had been +consigned to the weakling care of a race of talkers. + +And yet there was music and laughter. Spring rushed on. Feet that had +marched, now moved in the rhythm of the dance. Theaters were crowded. +Jazz-bands clashed. There were endless processions. Youth beckoned. +Chestnut bloom grew white and fell in flurries. Women were no less +beautiful. The sun shone thunderously. + +If Tabs were foolish, which he did not concede, all the world was his +companion in foolishness. Blindly and gropingly he was still going in +search of his kingdom. He ignored the gossip which his championship of +Maisie had called forth. He despised it. It made him the more +compassionate toward her--the more determined to help her to weather +the storm. Well-meaning friends undertook to warn him. "She's most +beautiful and charming. And she's Lady Dawn's sister, of course. +But----Well, to put it frankly, a woman who's been married three times +might just as well never have been married at all. Looks as though she'd +only squandered her money in rising to the nicety of a marriage-license. +I hope you don't mean to marry her, old chap, because she's not your +sort." + +When Tabs went to the trouble of assuring these well-wishers that he did +not intend to marry her and that she was his sort, they slipped their +tongues into their cheeks and opened their eyes wide, "Oh, so that's the +way of it!" + +Maisie reported to him similar experiences. "So you see how I'm +regarded, as though I were no better than I should be. And I'm young and +I've done nothing wrong. If it wasn't for your friendship, I should be +tempted----" + +"But you have my friendship!" he assured her. + +He tried to rise superior to this petty talk of scandal-mongers, but it +was not always possible when he remembered Terry. + + +VII + +He met Terry as often as he could contrive, but he no longer forced +himself upon her. He could effect nothing so long as her infatuation for +Braithwaite lasted. + +Now that Sir Tobias had lost faith in him as a lover, his opportunities +for meeting her became more rare. When Sir Tobias lost faith in any one, +he made no attempt to disguise it. In the case of Tabs, he let him know +it with a fine air of magnanimity, as though he were doing him a +kindness. His frankness took the form of communicating some new +disparaging criticism, astutely attributed to Lady Beddow, every time he +was paid a visit. + +Having separated Tabs from Terry by carrying him off to his library on +one pretext or another, he would carefully close the door and commence, +"You men who've seen service are all unbalanced; it would be unfair to +hold any of you responsible. You're no exception, my dear fellow, though +you probably don't notice it in yourself. As Lady Beddow was saying to +me this morning, 'Poor Lord Taborley, he has a rambling mind. Most +likely it's a species of shell-shock. There's a queer look comes into +his eyes. It's not always there. It's a look as if he were haunted. You +ought to speak to him, Tobias--you're his oldest friend--and advise him +to see a specialist. It's lucky we found his weakness out before things +between him and Terry went too far.'" + +Or he would say, "Lady Beddow and I were talking about you, my dear +fellow. You know she's very fond of you. She loved your mother before +you. 'The little big lady from America,' she used to call her. She's +naturally very much upset at the way in which you're getting yourself +talked about. Unfortunately she holds me partly responsible for having +induced you to visit this Maisie woman. 'You ought to have known him +better,' she says. 'There's an immoral streak in him--an inherited +taint, which I, for one, always suspected.' She was wondering whether +you have any knowledge of there having been insanity in your family." + +After having invented such discomforting surmises and given his wife the +credit for them, the old gentleman would blink his crafty eyes and rest +his hand affectionately on Tabs' arm. At the end of each visit he was +pressed to call again; but when he called, it was to find himself +shepherded into the library, safely out of reach of Terry, in order that +he might hear his conduct discussed afresh, either directly or by +insinuation. + +He was unable to defend himself without betraying Terry. She maintained +her silence with regard to Braithwaite, refusing to take her parents +into her confidence. They naturally attributed the hanging fire of the +engagement to Tabs, supposing that on the eve of his proposal he had +been ensnared in the net of Maisie. In their eyes he cut a shabby +figure. + +Behind his back Terry came to his defense. She would hear and believe no +wrong of him. This only proved to her parents that her heart still +followed him. They thought her very brave and became more gloomy in +their accusations. Matters took a serious turn: her health began to +fail. When the doctor was summoned, he ascribed the cause to secret +worrying and prescribed a complete change. Tabs received no word of this +happening, for Terry had become increasingly shy, so that she created +the appearance of avoiding him. She quite definitely avoided Maisie. + +There came a day in early June when he went to call on her and was +informed by the velvet-plush James that Miss Terry was out of London on +a visit of undetermined length. When he asked for her address, James +shook his head mournfully. She had been ill and was to be spared all +disturbing communications. His orders were that her address was to be +given to nobody. + +"But that order doesn't apply to me," Tabs urged. + +James became more profoundly agitated. He averted his eyes, while he +fiddled with the last button of his plump waistcoat. "I regret to say, +to your Lordship most especially." + +"Humph!" Tabs stroked his chin. "Is Sir Tobias at home?" + +"Your Lordship would gain nothing by seeing Sir Tobias." + +"You might mention to him that I called." With that he descended the +steps and climbed into his runabout. + +"Turned away!" he thought. "Turned away from Terry's house!" Then his +mind went back to two months ago--the hopes he'd had, his meeting with +her at the station, his asking her father for her hand in marriage. It +was like the old front-line trench, when reenforcements had failed to +come up: there was nothing for it but to dig one's self in and stick it +out. + +He had been shown the door with as little ceremony as an intruding +peddler. + + +VIII + +From Terry's house he went to Mulberry Tree Court, but the route that he +chose was not direct. He drove all over the West End first, through +Oxford Street, Bond Street, Piccadilly; then back by way of Regent +Street, swinging to the left through Conduit Street, till he again +struck Bond Street. He doubled and redoubled on his tracks, moving among +crowds, feeling that he must hear the noise of crowds, yet seeing little +of the sights on which his eyes rested. It had been like this with him +before, after being in too close contact with calamity. It had been like +this in war-days, when he had returned on brief leaves out of monstrous +offensives to the appalling quiet of a normal world. He hadn't dared to +be alone. He had felt that his sanity depended on his rubbing shoulders +with people. He had been like a child in an empty house, leaning out of +a window to catch the stir of life along the pavements. + +The gayety of the London season was at its height. Khaki was growing +rare. Signs of war had almost completely vanished. No one wanted to talk +about it. No one wanted to read about it. Shops had redecorated their +windows with the necessities and luxuries of civilian requirements. +There was a wave of spendthrift extravagance abroad. Every one in the +streets had the look of being out for a good time. The threat of +torturing to-morrows no longer made life haggard. If there was one +lesson that the past five years had taught it was that each new day was +a gift from the gods, to be enjoyed separately and drained of every +available drop of pleasure. The restraints of duty were indefinitely +postponed. Men and women sauntered in pairs, aimlessly and joyously. +Work was the bondage furthest from their thoughts. They seemed aware of +no one but themselves in their ecstasy at being reunited. Racing had +been restarted; up and down the gutters newsboys ran shouting the +winners. London was a Tommy on leave, insubordinately, humorously, +contagiously happy. + +As he drove, Tabs argued out his problem. From house-top to house-top +the June sky sagged like an azure canopy. Across pavements the afternoon +sunshine lay in bars of gold. Flower-sellers stood at intervals along +the curb, scenting the air with their country nosegays. A lazy breeze +ruffled drooping flags which had been hung out for the latest festival. +Everywhere there were girls in their blowy summer dresses--girls of all +kinds and sorts. Single girls, married girls, girls who worked for their +livings, girls whose business it was to be beautiful, girls who were +merely drudges. There were both pathos and urgency in the sight of them. +It was not good that they should live alone. They had wasted their youth +too long. The great necessity for that waste was ended. Not one of them +was a patch on Maisie. + +If he did not desire Maisie, why did he miss her? Was it that he would +not allow himself to desire her? Why did he encourage his passion for +Terry--Terry who in her mild and gentle way had become almost insolently +unappreciative? Wouldn't he be wiser to content himself with the woman +who was within reach rather than----? + +He frowned as the truth dawned on him. For the first time he had +acknowledged it. He did love Maisie. Not as he loved Terry, of course; +but in a more human way, to the extent of needing her companionship. He +had made a discovery that amazed himself--a discovery that thousands of +men had made before him: that it was possible for him to love two women +at the same tune, utterly differently and yet with entire sincerity. He +felt as lowered in his self-esteem as if he had committed bigamy. He was +dumbfounded at this new twist that his emotions had developed. Without +consulting him, they had played a trick on him which forever +disqualified him for the larger role of constant lover. He felt himself +pushed down to almost the level of a philanderer--a philanderer not much +more august than Adair. The suspicion crossed his mind that, if he could +believe himself in love with two women, he couldn't be very mightily in +love with either. + +But he was impatient of delays--worn out with procrastinations. The +magnificent chances of the present were slipping past him. One day he +would be old. "_Now, now, now_, is the appointed time," throbbed his +engine. Out of the sheer disorganization of his thoughts a desperate +scheme took shape. Why should he not go to Maisie and say, "We're +neither of us first in each other's affections. It's a rough-and-tumble +world! Why be thin-skinned about it? We may become first later. Let's +stop dreaming of kingdoms round the corner and make the best of such +kingdoms as are ours to-day." + +The idea took hold of him with force. It fascinated him. He turned his +car about. In passing through Mayfair he made a detour to glance at +Taborley House. The American Hospital had vacated it. It looked ruined +and forlorn. He tried to picture it as it might appear if Maisie were +its mistress. + +Twenty minutes later he drew up before the retiring little villa with +its marigold-tinted curtains. He had by no manner of means decided on +his course of action. He could not have told you what he was going to +say to Maisie. In this as in so many other ways, he believed himself +abnormal. No one had ever told him that ninety-nine out of a hundred +married men, if they spoke the truth, would have to confess that they +had been unaware thirty seconds before they proposed that they were +going to do so; and that the most incredible happening in their lives +had been when, thirty seconds later, they had discovered that not only +had they proposed, but that they had been riotously accepted. + + + + +CHAPTER THE SEVENTH + +SOME PEOPLE FIND THEIR KINGDOMS + + +I + +He was in the act of shutting off his engine when he heard himself +accosted. "I beg your pardon, but are you, Mr. Gervis?" + +It was a pleasant voice--a man's. Keeping his eyes on what he was doing, +Tabs answered in the negative. Then he recalled that Gervis had been the +name of Maisie's second husband. "If it's the Gervis who used to live +here," he indicated the house with a jerk of his head, "I'm afraid you +won't find him. He's been dead these three years--killed at the Front." + +A quiet chuckle greeted this piece of information, followed by a hearty, +"Thank the Lord." + +Tabs had finished what he was doing. As he stepped out of the car, he +threw a contemptuous glance at the man who could be so callous. He was a +slightly built, fresh-complexioned young fellow of middle height, with +amiable gray eyes and a fair, closely-trimmed mustache. He belonged to +the demobilized subaltern type and had the weary, drawn expression of +over-strained nerves that so many young faces had at that time. He was +dressed in a smartly fitting suit of striped navy-blue flannel and +carried himself with the plucky alertness of a highly bred fox-terrier. +He had a clean and gallant bearing which it was difficult to reconcile +with the ungenerosity of his last remark. In a neat, unforceful way he +would have been handsome, had it not been for a badly healed scar which +ran straight across his forehead, only just escaping his eyes. + +Before Tabs could say anything, he was apologizing. "That sounded +rotten. I'm sorry. But you see, I didn't know the chap. It's his wife +that I'm trying to find. She was married to a man named Pollock when I +knew her. I was rather a pal of Pollock's, belonged to the same squadron +and was shot down at the same time. I've been a prisoner in Germany. +Just got back, in fact. As you'll understand, I'm rather out of touch. I +thought you'd be able to tell me whether she still lived here." + +It was very damping to his ardor at this particular moment to have +Maisie's matrimonial past raked up. Within the next half hour he would +very possibly be asking her to be his wife. He wasn't sure that he was +going to; but meeting this friend of her first husband on her doorstep +didn't help him to make up his mind. He was no longer unsympathetic to +the young fellow, but he was quite determined that he must be sent about +his business. + +"As a matter of fact," he said, "the lady you're in search of does live +here. But she's not Mrs. Gervis any longer. She's married again. She's +Mrs. Lockwood now." + +A glint of enmity came into the stranger's eyes. "Then you're Mr. +Lockwood, perhaps?" + +Tabs answered him with a note of irritation. "I'm not Mr. Lockwood. +She's a widow. Lockwood also was killed. But I really don't see why you +should stop me on the pavement to ask so many questions. You can find +out everything by ringing the bell." + +"That's right." The young fellow stroked his mustache. "But I didn't +want to do that until I had made certain. Surely you can see how +embarrassing---- And now this third chap's gone West, you say. Poor +little Maisie, she hasn't had much luck." + +It was difficult to be brusque with a man of his own class, especially +with a man so genuinely likeable. But he had to get rid of him. After +having nerved himself up to the point of being at least prepared to +propose to Maisie, he couldn't contemplate an evening of sharing her +with a stranger and listening to the merits of her first husband. + +"So you're an old friend! Well, I'm afraid she won't be free this +evening. I have an appointment with her. But, if you like, I'll mention +that I met you and I'll let her know that you'll call--when shall we +say--to-morrow? Perhaps you'd care to give me your name----" + +The young man smiled good-naturedly. "I couldn't think of troubling you +to that extent." + +"In that case, I'll have to ask you to excuse me. All kinds of luck to +you on your return. It must be rather jolly not to be a prisoner. Good +evening." + +Tabs crossed the pavement and rang the bell. In order that he might +afford no opportunity for further conversation, he stood with his face +towards the door while he waited for it to be opened. He was very +conscious that the stranger had not departed, but was hovering +immediately in rear of him. + +It was Porter who answered his summons. "I'm sorry, your Lordship, Mrs. +Lockwood is out---- No, she didn't leave any word. She's bound to be +back shortly---- Why, certainly, if your Lordship has the time." + +While she was closing the front door, he walked across the hall and let +himself into the drawing-room. He went directly over to the empty +fireplace and gazed up at Lady Dawn's portrait. It always seemed to +challenge him--seemed to be trying to say something to him. It was +almost as though it were his conscience hanging there on the wall. He +had an idea that it reproached him for his silence with regard to Lord +Dawn. He felt that, were he to do what his instinctive sense of justice +had first urged--go to Lady Dawn and tell her that her husband had cared +for her--the painted face would be no longer turned away and the +stone-gray eyes no longer averted. + +He was haunted by the obsession that he would never have any luck till +he had vindicated the dead man's memory. + +It was Maisie who had prevented him up to now--Maisie with her laughter, +her breezy arguments, her short views of life, her contempt for +sentiment, her sledge-hammer motto, with which she shattered the past, +"I never dig up my dead." She had made him hesitant about reopening the +subject. Her sister was the most beautiful woman in England. A man never +knows to what boundaries a woman's jealousy spreads. He feared lest, if +he persisted, she might impute to him less lofty motives than the desire +to play fair by a comrade-in-arms who had gone West. + +Something stirred behind him. He swung about and found himself staring +into the face of the stranger who had accosted him on the pavement. + +"Sargent painted it ten years ago," the stranger said. "She's not as +young as that now." + +"How did you get in?" Tabs demanded. + +The stranger laughed boyishly. "Not too loud or you'll give the show +away. I followed you. The maid raised no objection. She thought we were +together--which was exactly what I intended." + +"But what do you want? What right have you here?" + +"Want! I know what I want. As to my right, that's problematic." + +He turned his back on Tabs and commenced to move about the room, picking +things up and examining them with a purposeful curiosity. He showed no +fear, yet in all his movements there was a calculated stealth. Tabs +watched him in amazement, wondering what he ought to do. If it came to +grappling with him, unless he carried fire-arms, there was little doubt +as to who would get the better of the contest. The man might be a +lunatic, a blackmailer, a burglar; by his odd mode of entry, he had laid +himself open to every suspicion. But he looked perfectly normal; and if +he had been a burglar, he surely would have selected an opportunity when +no other man was present. It was an awkward situation, this being shut +up alone in a husbandless woman's house with an unknown intruder. It +seemed to be an occasion for tact rather than the possible fuss of +police interference. + +At this moment the stranger made a discovery. + +He had been examining the five silver photograph-frames, each in turn, +with close attention. With his back towards Tabs he remarked, "It looks +as though she hadn't forgotten him. Five reminders of his homely mug and +not a solitary one of the also-rans! Numbers Two and Three couldn't have +made such a deep impression." He caught his breath in a nervous shudder. +"It's queer. Everything's queer when one's just come back. One's so +changed that he could court his own wife without being recognized. You, +too, were out there I should judge by the way you limp. I wonder whether +you've got over the queerness yet. I haven't had time----" + +From in front of the empty fireplace, Tabs interrupted him. "Look here, +my dear chap, I don't want to be rude and this isn't my house; but +what's your game?" + +The stranger turned and smiled. His frank gray eyes were amused and +friendly. "Upon my word, I haven't any game. I'm like yourself--just +paying a visit." + +Tabs shook his head and gazed at him fixedly. "It won't do; you know +that. You're a gentleman. Gentlemen don't get into unprotected women's +houses by your kind of methods." + +"They don't. That's a fact." He laughed carelessly. "I suppose this is +what comes of having been a prisoner in Germany. One prefers to be +underhand." + +"Don't you think it's time you stopped fooling?" Tabs spoke in a +conversational tone without temper. "There's Mrs. Lockwood to be +considered; she may be here at any moment. It's no good coming this +returned prisoner trick; all the prisoners in Germany were returned +shortly after the Armistice. Eight months have elapsed." + +"All right. Have it your own way." + +The stranger ceased to wander and sat himself down at Maisie's end of +the couch. Pulling out his cigarette-case, he offered it to Tabs. "Have +a gasper?---- You don't need to refuse because of Maisie. If she's the +Maisie she used to be, she won't object.---- Well, if you won't, I +will." + +Tabs noticed that his hand trembled in holding the match. The man was a +bundle of nerves; he was only maintaining this display of coolness with +an effort. Whatever the purpose of his bold intrusion, it was not +social, as he had pretended. + +"I don't like any man to think me a liar." The man spoke slowly between +puffs at his cigarette. "You think it's all bunkum that I'm fresh out of +Germany, but it isn't. Do you see that?" He ran his finger across the +gash in his forehead. "That and the ill-treatment I received in the +prison-camps made me go wuzzy. The only fact about myself that I could +remember in all those years was Maisie. So it's natural that I should +come to see her first. I wasn't sure of my own identity until a month +ago. I suppose I was released at the Armistice, but for seven out of the +past eight months I must have wandered in rags over Central Europe. +However, all's well that ends well, and here I am." + +"But you knew that she'd remarried," Tabs objected suspiciously; "you +asked me if I were Gervis." + +"A friend of Pollock's told me that," he explained. "Gervis was +excusable. But this Lockwood fellow's the third. It's a bit thick! She +certainly has been going it." He looked up suddenly. "I've been doing +all the talking. What about yourself?" + +Tabs crossed the room and opened one of the long French windows which +led out into the rockery. The golden afternoon had faded into early +evening and a refreshing coolness was in the air. When he came back, he +seated himself at the other end of the couch. "Just to show that there's +no ill-feeling, I'll accept one of your gaspers, if you'll allow +me.----There's nothing for me to explain. My name is Lord Taborley and +I'm a friend of Mrs. Lockwood. There's nothing else." + +The stranger leaned forward. His humor left him, revealing his premature +haggardness. He laid a hand on Tabs' arm and asked a question. "You're +fond of her?" + +Tabs eyed him in silence, trying to divine what was intended. "At any +rate, you are," he said kindly; "I see it now." + +"Not fond of her, I'm in love with her." The man's face softened as he +made the confession. "I was in love with her when she was still the wife +of Pollock. I've been through deep waters. I've had to wait for her like +Jacob did for Rachel. I've lost most things--my memory, my health, my +very likeness! but never for five minutes have I lost my love for her. +She was the only star in my darkness----" The words fell from him with +somber sincerity. "I don't know whether you understand----" + +But Tabs' thoughts had turned inwards. He was living again the +englamored poignancy of the years when Terry had been for him precisely +that--the only star in his darkness. The intensity of the vision was +like a cry of warning rousing his sleeping idealism from its lethargy. +His present errand became a treachery to be swept aside by his refound +strength. He recognized the intruder with new eyes, not as an enemy, but +as a comrade--a comrade marooned on the selfsame island of loneliness +and bound to him by the common experience of a kindred adversity. He was +like Crusoe discovering the footprint. Here, quite close to him, was a +fellow waif who had drunk deep of his own bitter sense of desertion. +With a thrill of sympathy, his heart turned to him. + +"The only star in the darkness!" He repeated the stranger's words. "For +most of us there's been one woman who was all of that. If she fails +us----" He stifled his pessimism. "When stars fail, one waits for the +morning." + +"So you, too, had your woman!" + +The stranger smiled and relaxed against the cushions. "Foolish of me! +You can't blame me. Twice I've believed that I'd lost her. First there +was Gervis and then this Lockwood. Poor devils, I cry quits on them. But +when I found you so at home here, you can guess what I dreaded. And yet +you'll never guess why I followed you into this house." He lit a +cigarette and crossed his legs. "I didn't want you to escape me till I'd +asked a question---- Has it ever entered your head that Pollock might +not be dead?" + +Tabs started. Then he sat very still. It was the commonplace tone in +which the question had been asked that froze his blood. It was as though +this man had said, "I can bring him back." For a moment he knew genuine +fear--the non-physical fear which the impalpable can awake in the +bravest mind. Through the open window the companionable mutter of London +entered. The normality of everything on which his eyes rested did its +best to reassure him--the mellow evening sunlight in the friendly room, +the flowers in the rockery, the toy-boat on the pond. "I never dig up my +dead." He remembered Maisie's motto. But what if the dead---- + +He pulled himself together. Pollock not dead! An absurd suggestion! +Maisie had changed her name twice since then--a sufficient proof! The +poor fellow was demented. Everything that he had done bore the hall-mark +of insanity. He had owned that he had been deranged to within a month +ago. Everything that he had said might be quite true. He probably had +been the dead man's friend and in love with Maisie at the time of her +first marriage. The misfortunes that had befallen him had exaggerated +his love into mania--a mania which the news of Gervis and then of +Lockwood had rendered active. He felt an immense compassion for the man. +There, save for the grace of God, sat himself. But what was to be done? +Already Maisie was overdue. Not a second could be wasted. He must humor +him and get him out of the house, if a scene was to be prevented. + +And all the time the stranger had been watching him--following his +thoughts, no doubt. He spoke again. "Don't you agree with me? It would +be damned awkward if Pollock came back." + +Tabs forced a smile. "I'm not so sure that I do. She never loved any one +but her first husband. She's told me so. The other two---- I don't +believe she herself knows how they happened. They were soldiers. They +weren't long for this world. She didn't want to do them out of +anything." He glanced at his watch. "By Jove, and I've not dined yet! +I'm afraid I must be off. How about you? I'd be awfully glad if you'd +take dinner with me." + +The man jumped to his feet, so that Tabs rose with him. But once they +were on their feet an amused expression of cunning came into his eyes. +It told Tabs plainly that he had seen through the strategy. He shook his +head. "Very good of you. But I'm waiting for Maisie." He held out his +hand. It was evident that he was determined to take Tabs at his word. +"We'll meet again, perhaps. What you've just said piques my curiosity. +Before you go, there's one more question. In your opinion what would +Maisie's attitude be if Pollock did come back?" + +Tabs was instantly aware that he had made a false move. His bluff had +been called. He'd made it impossible for himself to prolong his call; at +the same time he didn't dare to leave this man behind in the house. It +wasn't Maisie that he was thinking of now--he could warn her as she +entered the Court--it was Porter. A madman was capable of anything; and +yet, confound the chap's deceptiveness, he didn't look mad. There was +only one chance of delaying his departure: at all costs he must involve +him in an argument. + +"If Pollock came back! Curious that you should suggest that! I've sat in +this room and discussed the possibility with Mrs. Lockwood by the hour. +For the past two months--that's as long as I've known her--I've been +helping her to live as though he might come back." + +The man's coolness instantly vanished. His excitement grew well-nigh +beyond control. "You're not going. Sit down. You've got to explain." He +rapped out his sentences in short, quick jerks. His voice had become +harsh and imperative. "You can't have any idea what this means to me. +It's ridiculous. Why should you, a living man, help her, when she's so +beautiful, to save herself for a dead man? She didn't save herself in +the case of Gervis and Lockwood." + +With a sigh of relief Tabs reseated himself. The man sank down beside +him, crowding against him on the couch. His anxiety was sharp-pointed +as a dagger. "Quick," he urged. + +"I don't know that I can be quick." Tabs spoke leisurely. He paused, +trying to think what he should say next. "Here it is in a nutshell. Mrs. +Lockwood, as we both know, is a more than ordinarily charming woman. +She's the kind who, without being able to prevent herself, draws men. +There are women like that. Her three marriages, all taking place so +close together gave her a reputation---- You're a man of the world; +you'll understand that I'm not trying to say anything derogatory. But +three matrimonial adventures in such rapid succession gave her a +reputation for lightness. She was young and pretty. She longed to live +life. You can't blame her. For a woman life isn't a very full affair +without a man. And yet there aren't many men who would be willing to +choose a wife with three previous husbands to her credit. It would seem +too much like a week-end experiment, without the option of parting when +the week was ended. So here was the injustice of her social situation; +without having committed a solitary indiscretion, she was damaged +goods--debarred from matrimony, yet coveted by men. Do you realize the +temptation----" + +The man half rose in his irritation. "You're not answering my question." +The violence in his tone was unmistakeable. "What I've got to find out +is, what put you up to persuading her to live as though Pollock were not +dead?" + +"I was coming to that." Tabs spoke reassuringly. "Beneath all her gayety +I found, when I began to know her, that she was desperate--desperate to +live in the sunshine and mortally afraid of shadows. At the least hint +of shadows she grew reckless. She believed that her happiness was in the +past. So I taught her to play a game--a game that has often saved me +from despair. It was just this--to act as though all the goodness one +has known still lies ahead; in her case this meant living as though the +man whom she had loved were not dead, but waiting for her round some +future corner. So that was why---- But I think I've answered your +question." + +Tabs rose from the couch and limped over to the empty fireplace. He +stood there beneath the portrait of Lady Dawn, supporting himself with +one arm against the mantel. The room was beginning to fill with dusk. +Beyond the threshold of the open window, the rockery-garden was still +vaguely golden. The little pond was a silver mirror. + +Perhaps two minutes had elapsed. Uncertainly the stranger struggled to +his feet. He moved towards the door, halted and came slowly back. He +looked very spent, and slim, and wasted in the gathering shadows. As +Tabs gazed down at him, he noticed that his face was prodigiously +solemn. + +"I don't mind now." He swallowed like a small boy getting rid of his +emotion. "I don't mind Gervis or Lockwood any longer; it's as though +they'd never happened. And I don't feel hard to her, the way I might +have. I'm glad you told her about things being round the corner. Because +I'm Pollock. I have come back." + +Tabs stared at him. He was deeply moved. To humor him in his delusion +seemed the height of callousness. Yet what else was possible under the +circumstances? + +"Of course you're Pollock," he assured him gently. "One wouldn't +recognize you from your portraits, but I ought to have guessed." + +The man caught the deception in his tone. He lifted up his puzzled gray +eyes. "You don't---- No, I see you don't. You don't believe me. Yet I am +Pollock." + +"My dear chap," Tabs said it coaxingly, "I don't see why you should +think I doubt you. I'm quite certain you're Pollock--Reggie Pollock, the +first of all the aces: the man who brought down the Zeppelin over +Brussels. You see I know all about you. Your picture was in the papers. +I've told you that you were expected. So why----" + +The front door was heard to open and close. There was the sound of +Maisie's voice. They stood rigidly listening in the semi-darkness. +Neither of them spoke or stirred. As she entered, a shaft of light from +the hall preceded her. Quietly Tabs placed himself between her and the +stranger. The stranger made no motion to thwart him; he stood like one +turned to stone. Just across the threshold she halted, leaning forward +slightly and peering through the shadows. + +"Why, Tabs," she laughed, "how romantic of you to sit waiting for me in +the twilight!" + +Tabs came forward as though he were about to push her back. "I'm not +alone, Mrs. Lockwood----" + +"I know. Porter told me. But why are you standing in my way?" She +laughed again. A shiver of fear cut short her laughter. "What's the +matter? I don't see your friend. Why don't you introduce----" + +"He's not my friend. He says he's yours." + +"Then all the more reason---- Why are you acting strangely? No, please +let me into my own room, Tabs." + +He had put out his arm to prevent her. Without warning the stranger +advanced into the shaft of light. She saw him and fell back screaming, +covering her eyes. With a vehemence that was unexpected, he pushed Tabs +aside and clasped her to him. "Maisie darling, don't be afraid. I'm +real. I know everything. And I don't mind----" + +At sound of his voice, she uncovered her eyes. His face was close to +hers. The fixed look of terror left her. + +Putting out her hands timidly, she ran her fingers along the scar in his +forehead. "They've hurt you. Poor you! My Reggie! Oh, my lover, they've +hurt you!" + +She buried her head against his shoulder and fell to weeping +passionately. + + +II + +Neither of them had seen him go. He had tiptoed past them like a ghost +and out into the summer night. The sky was luminous with the dust of +stars. A sleepy wind was blowing. + +He jumped into his car and sped away, making such haste that one might +have thought he was pursued. He wheeled to the left in the direction +that led to the Surrey hills. It was the direction he had taken with +Terry on that March morning when she had met him at the station. He was +making a discovery: that there is no tragedy more difficult to +contemplate with charity than the sight of other people's happiness. +Their follies we can tolerate and view even with compassion; but their +joys are unendurable. Joy separates men with impassable barriers. It +transfigures beggars into Lazaruses lying at rest in Abraham's bosom. We +view them from afar off and their contentment increases the burning of +our torment. No man has yet discovered how to share his joy. Only a god +could say, "My joy I give unto you." + +They had not seen him go. That was the neglect that rankled. Even though +they had seen him, they would not have cared; they would have done +nothing to delay him. They were past all caring. Like tired ships, +having weathered many storms, they had furled their sails in the harbor +of desire. He had slipped by them like a demon vessel, all canvas +spread, out-going on his endless voyage. + +From the door, before he left, he had looked back. The room was a-silver +with twilight. The garden beyond was still vaguely golden. The pond +glimmered darkly like a magic mirror. The murmur of London wove patterns +on the silence. From the hall across the silver of the dusk, an +intrusive shaft of light pointed like a finger at those two entranced, +who had refound the peace that time had scattered. + +Even though Pollock had not returned, he himself could never have +married her. There are violations of the austerity of the soul which the +urgings of the flesh cannot accomplish. In the vivid flash of reality +that had visited him he knew that now. He was angry--bitterly angry. But +his anger was not for her; it was for himself. He could be so +audaciously prophetic in the affairs of others. He could advise them and +well-nigh compel them to conserve themselves for kingdoms of whose +coming there was neither the slightest hope nor warning. His penetrating +optimism could foresee the daringly incredible, so that it almost seemed +in the case of Maisie that his optimism had created out of the +incredible a fact. He could work these miracles of restraint for others; +himself he could not restrain. His road ran straight as destiny, yet any +lazy kingdom of mildness in a woman's eyes was capable of luring him +aside. In his abasement he lost all faith in his self-knowledge. Hadn't +he always been the victim of an imagination which had tricked mere +liking into a resemblance to passion? He strutted, gestured, despaired +till he almost persuaded himself that he was the part he was acting. But +had he the faintest conception of what real love meant? Hadn't he always +acted a part? Yes, even in the case of Terry! + +His saner judgment intervened. He hadn't always been like that. Where +had the point of departure started? He traced back the weakness till he +came to the moment when he had permitted his sense of justice to be +over-ruled by a woman. It had started with Maisie, when he had allowed +her to persuade him to hide the truth from Lady Dawn. + +He jammed on the brakes, bringing the car to a sudden halt. To go and +tell her must be the first step in his redemption. Till that was done +the curse of the dead man would follow him. It seemed to him now, as he +looked back, that through all the spring and summer the shadow of Lord +Dawn had crept behind him. He would go at once. He would go that night. +He knew where he could find her. He would set out like a pilgrim of long +ago through the moon-drenched, hay-scented sweetness of the country. + +His vision turned outwards. He realized for the first time where he had +halted. He was within sight of Richmond Park, outside _The Star and +Garter Hotel_, the old haunt of merry-makers, which had now become a +permanent hospital for the mutilated. There were lights to mark the +windows of men who suffered. As he watched, some leaped up; others were +snapped out. He could hear in memory the starchy rustling of nurses and +the creaking of springs as the patients turned. There were men in there +without arms and legs and faces; he had shared their danger and he had +been spared. Surely the God who had covered him with His mantle, had had +some plan--some design of goodness for him! + +Far below in a curving streak of blessedness the Thames ran silvered by +the moonlight. He could see the clumped shadows of woods and the flicker +of ripples striking fire against the banks. More distantly London +glowed--a golden flower cupped in the hollowed hand of night. Holding +his breath he listened to the loudness of the quiet. Subtle ecstasies +drifted to him, fluttering like moths against the windows of his +mind--"lilies like thoughts, roses like words, in the sweet brain of +June." _There was a design._ Maisie had found her kingdom. Was it too +much to expect that round some future turning God had another kingdom +waiting? + + +III + +He drove back to London by the directest route. He would have to get +supper before he made a start. By the time he had done that, packed his +bag, and refilled his tank it would be close on midnight. Dawn Castle +lay somewhere down in Gloucestershire. He knew the road as far as +Oxford; after that his ideas were vague. + +He was a little daunted by the thought of Lady Dawn. Everything that he +had heard about her, including his first meeting with her, had served to +daunt him. He pictured her as a woman with a conscience clear-cut as a +cameo--a woman, infallible and unsubdued, impatient of foolishness and +gentle in her spirit with the cold tranquillity of a landscape under +ice. How would she receive him, coming out of nowhere, unheralded and +unexplained? And how could he explain the urgency that had compelled him +to come to her? It was a delicate task that he had set himself, this +seeking out a woman with whom he was unacquainted, that he might tell +her that her husband had not hated her when he died. What concern was it +of his, she might well ask. If she chose to be hostile, there were no +arguments by which he could defend his interference. His sole +justification was his deep-rooted conviction that he was doing right. + +She never cried. How often Maisie had insisted on her sister's +abstinence from tears, as though it was something monstrous that summed +up all her character! He would have felt far more comfortable in +visiting her if he had been assured that she sometimes cried. + +As he turned into Brompton Square, he thought he caught the door of his +house in the act of closing. He might have been mistaken. It was dark +under the shadow of the trees. Quite possibly it had been the door of a +neighbor's house. Nevertheless, he hugged the curb as he drove so that +he might scan the face of any one on the pavement. Forty yards from his +doorstep, at a point where things were darkest, a man passed him. He was +a tall man and walked with the erectness of one who had been a soldier. +The way in which he carried himself and strode was extraordinarily +reminiscent. Tabs slowed down and looked back; the man moved straight +ahead, without hesitancy or sign of recognition. It couldn't be +Braithwaite; Ann's vicinity was the least likely place in which to find +him. + +As Tabs let himself into his house, he found Ann in the hall. "Was there +some one here to see me?" he asked. + +"There's been no one to see your Lordship," Ann replied respectfully. + +He scarcely knew what prompted him to say it. Perhaps it was the +healthy neatness of her appearance--the extreme orderliness of her +quiet. "Ann, you're the sanest creature I meet anywhere. You've the +pluck of one in a million." + +She turned to him a face that was flushing and eyes that were unusually +bright. "It's good of your Lordship. Your Lordship is always kind." + +"No, Ann, only human. I know what you've been through and I'm glad +you're getting over it---- I have to be away to-night. I shall need some +supper. While you're preparing it, I'll pack." + +On the way upstairs he telephoned the garage to send for his car and to +return it within the hour. Then he climbed the last flight to his +bedroom. + +While he packed, he kept pausing and knitting his brows. A ridiculous +conviction was forming in his mind. "It couldn't have been," he assured +himself. Yet the more he recalled the man on the pavement the more +certain he was that he had been Steely Jack. But what motive could +Braithwaite have had for calling and why should Ann try to hide the fact +that he had called? He had lost trace of him utterly since that day when +he had handed him Terry's ultimatum at the Savoy. Since then Terry and +he had had many meetings, he did not doubt. Braithwaite's influence +clung to her like her shadow. But if he was so in love with Terry, the +more reason why he should steer clear of Ann. To have called at Brompton +Square would have been asking for a cloudburst. It couldn't have been +Braithwaite. And yet---- + +And then there was Ann. Since that day when the General's portrait had +appeared in the papers, she had given up watching for letters marked, +"On His Majesty's Service." She had made no further enquiries as to how +his Lordship's friend at the War Office was progressing. Her silence +told its story; she had learned the truth. In what spirit she had +accepted the truth Tabs had no means of guessing. Lady Hamilton, the +little maid-of-all-work, had been the beloved of Nelson. Ann was not +without her precedent. But the maid-of-all-work had become Lady Hamilton +before the Admiral had set eyes on her. Steely Jack was a General, while +Ann was still a servant. Her claims would not meet with much applause if +they were brought before a jury. + +To all appearance she had resigned herself to the inevitable. Tabs was +frankly surprised at her magnanimity and fortitude. About her fortitude +there could be no question, but concerning her magnanimity he was not a +little skeptical. More than once he had caught her singing as she went +about her work. She didn't get all the words correctly; she sang them +with improvisions, filling in the gaps where her memory failed. +Throughout the war the song had been sung to men on leave at the +Alhambra by the heroine who acted the revengeful part of _Tootsie_: + + "Some day I'll make you love me. + Some day you'll call me 'Dear'. + You'll feel so lonely + And want me only; + I'm sure you'll want me near. + I know you can't forget me, + Though, dear, for years you'll try. + I'll make you miss me + And want to kiss me, + Bye and bye." + +She was a mystery. If she were playing a game, it was a game the +intentions of which he could not fathom. The man whom he had passed on +the pavement could not have been Braithwaite. Common-sense insisted on +that. + + +IV + +While he was at supper she gave him no chance to question her. "I'm +motoring down to Dawn Castle," he told her. "I've left the address on my +desk. Don't forward any letters till you hear from me. I don't suppose +that I shall be there for more than a day. To tell the truth," he +glanced up smiling at her seriousness, "I haven't been invited." + +Ann refused to be lured off her perch of reticence. She set before him +the dish she was carrying. "I'm sure wherever your Lordship goes there's +a welcome." + +He felt that he was being reproved. He had been conscious of her silent +criticism from the moment he had announced that he would be away for the +night. He respected Ann and was anxious for her good opinion. She was by +long odds the most honorable woman of his acquaintance and the best, +because she was the kindest. He had had the feeling throughout the past +two months that there was very little that had happened inside his brain +that had escaped her. She had disapproved of Maisie. She had shown no +enthusiasm for Terry. She had been aware of his dangers when he himself +was disguising them with excuses. All this he knew though no word had +been exchanged. She had observed in all her dealings with him the +decorum to be expected from a high-class servant. And yet she was his +trusted friend, whose virtues compelled his admiration and whose loyalty +commanded his affection. She thought ahead for him and smoothed his +path. Her sense of responsibility was as tender as a sister's. Her +humility lent it a touch of pathos. He looked up to her as men +instinctively look up to good women in whatever grade of society they +find them. The silent knowledge which each had of the other formed a +bond of sympathy, the more delicate because it was unuttered. + +He said, "Long ago--it must have been before the war--I gave you tickets +to see Peter Pan." + +"It wasn't to me your Lordship gave them. It was to Braithwaite." + +"Was it?" He held her eyes, striving to peer behind their curtained +windows. It was the first time that that name had been mentioned between +them in casual conversation. "You're right. It comes back to me now. It +was the Christmas of 1913 that he took you. Do you remember the fairy +who was dying? There was only one way of keeping her alive. Peter Pan +had to make the children in the audience promise that they believed in +fairies. When they did that, she got well. That's why I'm going to Dawn +Castle to-night." + +Ann ceased abruptly from what she was doing and stared at her master in +concern. He laughed mischievously. "Wrong again, Ann; I've not taken +leave of my senses. Two hours ago I made the same mistake. There was a +man who asked me whether I believed that Mrs. Lockwood's first husband, +who was killed at the Front, would return. While I was wondering how +long it would be before he'd grow violent, he proved to me that he was +her first husband. So I'm believing in fairies." + +A secret happiness lit up her face. "Deep down beneath our doubts, most +of us believe in fairies, I think, your Lordship." With a shy smile she +left him. + +The purring of an engine warned him that the car had returned and was +waiting. He could hear Ann in the hall, handing out his bags. He had +finished his supper; he might as well be off. As he drove out of the +Square, he looked back; she was standing on the steps, gazing after him. +He had the restless certainty, now that it was too late, that she had +had a secret which, at the last moment, she would have given the world +to have shared with him. + + +V + +Of that night journey in after years he remembered only the deep peace +and the ecstasy. He was doing something at last that was right; though +why it was right, he would have found it hard to explain. He encountered +none of the difficulties he had anticipated in picking up his direction. +He flew unswervingly to the mark like a bullet traveling a predestined +path. The first sixty miles were familiar; Maisie had covered them with +him on many occasions. By every law of emotion each landmark should have +stirred some poignant memory, some fresh wistfulness of regret. The fact +was that he hardly gave her a thought. When he did, it was only to wish +her luck and to congratulate himself on his escape. + +Having passed through Oxford lying blanched in moonlight, he climbed out +of the Thames valley, striking through uplands across the wold to +Burford. From then on all memories were left behind; he had become an +explorer in an unknown country. + +Everything was sleeping. How trustfully it slept! Trees were hooded like +extinguished candles. Flowers throughout the fields clasped their faces +in their hands. Birds, like fluffy balls, drowsed on branches. Stars +alone were wakeful. They stooped to watch him with intent, companionable +glances. Now and then he had to halt to flash his torch on a sign-post +or to consult his map. For the most part he took chances and guessed. + +Night engulfed him, rushed past him, broke over him. He was like a ship +thrusting forward into a trackless ocean. + +The paleness of dawn was in the sky as he neared Gloucester. When he +entered, its roofs and towers were precipices of gold and fire, +straining up to the New Jerusalem which floated in the clouds. The +streets of the ancient city had a mystic look, white and hushed and +tenantless. But already the cheeky sparrows were about, +scandal-mongering beneath the eaves with an unholy disregard for the awe +by which they were surrounded. + +He left Gloucester in a southwesterly direction. In fields the hay was +lying cut. A largesse of dew had been scattered through the hedgerows +like loot from the treasure-chests of emperors. Larks were battling up, +striving to sing against the very bars of heaven. Every fragrance and +sound was a messenger, guaranteeing happiness. + +Round a bend in the road he came across a cluster of thatched cottages, +their white walls gleaming incandescent in the morning sunshine. Beyond +them lay a parkland, from the edge of which rose a wooded knoll, crowned +by a moated castle. The next mile-stone warned him that it was the +village of Dawn he was approaching. + + +VI + +All day he had waited--a lazy summer day, drowsy with the hum of bees +and heavy with the perfume of cottage flowers. On entering the village +he had put up at _The Dawn Arms_, an old-fashioned hunting hostel which +owed its prosperity to the fame of the Dawn foxhounds. Having bathed and +breakfasted, he had started off to leave his card on Lady Dawn. Arriving +at the Castle, he had been informed that her Ladyship had left early +that morning and was not expected back till early evening. He had filled +in the morning by sleeping and the afternoon by joining a band of +sight-seeing trippers who had driven over from Gloucester in +gayly-painted chars-a-bancs. + +With a spice of amusement, he had paid his shilling for admission at the +wooden booth outside the Castle gate and had found himself herded with a +crowd of affectionately inclined young women and young men who perspired +freely--the latter for the sake of greater comfort had removed their +coats and knotted handkerchiefs about their throats. In good time a +decrepit ex-butler had appeared to act as guide and had led the +excursionists over the Norman part of the ruins. He had shown them the +dungeons, the room in which a prince had been murdered and the havoc +wrought upon the walls by Cromwellian cannon. The ever recurring theme +of his trembling narrative was the prowess and the splendor of the +Dawns. He was like a weak-voiced cricket chirping in the sunshine. His +stories of bygone lords, who had died in rebellions and crusades, were +too ancient to grip the imagination. At first his veneration for the +race which he served inspired an outward show of respect on the part of +his hearers. But soon, in straggling twos and threes, they lagged behind +to explore and pluck wall-flowers from the crannies. Girls, feeling the +pressure of lovers' arms about their waists, giggled shrilly. They +wandered off to shady nooks in the grass-grown ramparts where woolly +sheep looked up somnolently to watch them. + +To the few who remained the old man mumbled on. It was the nobility of +the late Lord Dawn that he was now recounting--the daring horseman he +had been, the deviltry of him, the lust of life he had had, the +greatness of his possessions and how he had foregone all this beauty to +be hammered into the defilement of the trenches like a rat, cornered in +a sewer. + +"Visitors are not allowed in the part of the Castle that is inhabited. +But, since her Ladyship's away----" + +Unlocking a door, he led them through a tunnel to a grilled gate, +through the bars of which they saw the Castle's terraced rose-gardens, +falling away steeply in a cascade of petals to a water-lilied, +green-scummed moat which encircled the stronghold like a necklace of +jade. Beside the water's edge a fair-haired boy in a white sailor suit +was deeply absorbed in sailing a boat. + +"His little Lordship," the old man whispered. + +"But I didn't know---- How old?" Tabs questioned. + +"Eight years, sir, come December." + +Long after he had returned to the inn, the picture of the little boy +remained with him. This discovery that Lord Dawn had left a son made him +the more certain of the justice of his errand. + +The azure and emerald of late afternoon drifted into the ensanguined +gold of sunset. The long-tarrying twilight had already settled when a +messenger arrived, bearing a note. It was from her Ladyship, regretting +her absence and saying that she would be happy to receive a visit from +Lord Taborley that evening or at any time that was convenient. + + +VII + +He set out at once. Heretofore, with the exception of Terry, women had +meant little to him. But he was curious to meet this woman--curious and +eager in a strangely boyish fashion. Every one who had mentioned her had +spoken of her with a certain hint of fear, not untinged with adoration. +He hadn't been aware how anxious he had been to meet her until her note +had summoned him. He wondered whether she had any of the endearing +humanity of her sister. He wondered whether what Pollock had said was +true, that she looked much older than her portrait. He didn't want her +to look older---- + +He came to the bridge across the moat and the gateway which bore the +grooves in which the old portcullis used to slide. He passed through the +gateway, under the tower, into the graveled courtyard of the Castle. On +three sides the courtyard was loop-holed and sullen, but on the fourth +modern windows and a brass-knobbed door had been let into the solid +masonry. Above the door, shining down on the whitened steps, a lamp +burnt in a wrought-iron socket. Several of the windows were also +lighted. + +His knock was answered by a gray-haired man, with the gravity of +deportment which is peculiar to lawyers, undertakers and footmen. While +the man went to inform his mistress, Tabs was left to note how the hall +was hung with hunting trophies. Then he heard himself being requested to +follow. + +Having climbed a winding stair, he was shown into a room in the turret, +one side of which was filled by a tall leaded window gazing westward. +The landscape which it framed, hung against the darkness like a painted +canvas--a far-reaching expanse of tree-dotted pasture, vague with +islands of mist and rimmed by the last faint sparks of the sunset. The +ceiling was heavily beamed, the furniture Jacobean, the walls paneled +and hung with many generations of family portraits. In a wide hearth a +fire of coals and logs was burning. In the room's center stood a carved +table on which was set a massive silver lamp, casting a solitary +illumination. + +"Lord Taborley, my Lady." + +As his name was announced, he heard the rustle of her dress, and +discovered that she had been seated in a low chair by the window. She +rose with a slow grace. There was something indefinably tragic and +foreordained about her every movement. Maisie's name for her flashed +into his mind, "The Princess Czarina Bolsheviki." It suited her exactly. +In those surroundings she might have posed as Mary Queen of Scots in +prison--a queen without a kingdom whose pride was unbroken. In the +dimness his first impression was of her queenly gentleness. + +"I can guess why you've come." + +The same deep voice that had taunted him at Maisie's, only now it was no +longer taunting! He noticed the way she offered him her hand, with the +arm fully extended as if to hold him away from her. She was a smaller +woman than he had remembered; it was the courage of her bearing that had +made her seem taller. He could not see her face distinctly; it was in +shadow. But, when she turned, he caught the whiteness of her profile on +the dusk, clear-cut and tranquil as a cameo. After having gazed so long +at Sargent's painting, he would have recognized anywhere the rounded +shapeliness of her head, the hair swept smoothly back from the calm +forehead, the splendid strength of her throat and the delicate, wholly +feminine half-moon of her shoulders. + +"Won't you sit over here? If you would prefer it, we can have more +lamps. But they would spoil----" She indicated the vague stretch of +country, across which mists were drifting like gray ghosts. + +He drew up a chair at an angle to her own, so that he could study her. +"You say you think you know why I've come?" + +"I was expecting you," she said quietly. He could feel rather than see +the steady kindness that was in her stone-gray eyes. + +"If you were expecting me, then your sister must have----" + +"My sister had nothing to do with my expecting. Can't you think of any +one closer?" + +He shook his head. At first he had hoped that Maisie had told her and +done his work for him. Evidently it wasn't that. She was attributing +some other motive to his visit. It was a motive the disclosure of which +called for delicacy. She had prearranged his reception. It was no +accident that had caused him to find her alone in the dimness of the +gathering evening. The scanty lighting of the shadowy room had been +stage-set to spare them both embarrassment. "If it wasn't your +sister----" He paused at a loss to know how to proceed further. + +Her hands came together gently in her lap. When she spoke, her emotional +voice had a new tenderness. "Will you allow me to help you? We're not +such strangers as we seem. For years I've been interested in you. I was +always hearing of your adventures in Mexico, Korea, the Balkans and last +of all at the Front. You've been quite a romantic figure in my life. +You've always seemed so strong; and I admire strength immensely. I never +dreamt that a time would ever come when I would be able to help you. +You're in love and she's not in love with you. You're older than she is +and it makes you unhappy. She has time to experiment, but for you it's +different; your love is bound up with the last of your youth. Because +you've been unhappy, you've been unwise. Your foolishness ended +yesterday with the return of Reggie Pollock. I received the news of his +return this morning. So you came down here to me, which was perfectly +natural." + +He shifted his gaze and stared out of the window, puzzled and troubled. +"Unfortunately for me, Lady Dawn, a good deal of what you've said is +true. But I don't see how it makes it natural that I should have come to +you. I've been wanting to come for a very long time, but was given to +understand that what I had to say might be distasteful." + +"You must put that out of your mind." She said it comfortingly, as +though to a little boy. "There's nothing distasteful in what you have +to say. It may cause awkwardness with Sir Tobias; but if you can assure +me that you're really in earnest over Terry, I'll be quite willing to +risk that in order to become your ally." + +He smiled towards her through the darkness. "There's nothing I should +like better than to reckon you as my ally. And now I see why we've been +talking at cross-purposes. You think that I've come to wheedle Terry's +address out of you. Perhaps I have, since you've put the idea into my +head. And with regard to my earnestness, nothing except Terry in the +whole world matters. She's romance, self-fulfillment and, as you've +said, the last dream of my youth. If I supposed that I were going to +lose her, I would rather not have---- But I didn't come here to burden +you with my troubles. I came to do something for you--something which +I've tried to avoid doing. Something which has forced itself upon me and +followed me until---- It's as though I'd been compelled by a personality +outside myself. I may make you very unhappy----" + +She leant forward, bringing her face so close that he could feel the +fanning of her breath. The moon was newly risen; as it shone on the +mist, low-lying in the meadows, it made the country-side luminous like a +vast lake of milk which washed about the trees and submerged the hedges. +In its reflected radiancy for the first time he saw her features +clearly. They startled him, leaping together out of the white blur that +they had been into something more lovely than he had imagined. He had +never seen such calmness. And the calmness was not alone in her +expression; the same sculptured quiet was in the white curve of her arms +and the gentle swelling of her breast. He knew now why she was declared +to be the most beautiful woman in England. But it was the wisdom of her +far more than the beauty that enthralled him. There was no weakness that +her sympathy could not encompass--nothing that he need be ashamed to +tell her. Though she appeared to be about the same age as himself, by +reason of her experience she made him feel younger. No woman who had +attracted him before had been able to make him feel that. Already he was +filled with a strange sense of gratitude. + +Very simply she took his hand and folded it between her own. + +"You, who have been a soldier, were a little afraid of me. Don't be +afraid of me, Lord Taborley. Whatever it is that you've come to do for +me, I shall try to be grateful. As for making me unhappy, no one--not +even you--has the power to do that." + + +VIII + +He looked at her wonderingly. "They say you never cry." + +A slow smile flitted across her face and died out. "You want the truth? +You yourself tell the truth---- When they say that I never cry, they +mean that I never let them see me." + +He laughed softly. "I thought it was that: you cry in secret like a man. +Not to cry at all would be monstrous; it was that which made me afraid +of you. A man doesn't like a woman to be stronger than himself. It was +about a man who didn't like a woman to be stronger than himself that I +came to talk to you." + +She had guessed. Through her hands he could feel the commotion of her +life struggle and die down till it grew almost silent. The stillness of +the room seemed a backwater of the intenser stillness of the night +without. + +Her lips scarcely moved. "And the man?" + +"Your husband." + +"But he's dead." + +"I know." + +He waited for her to flame up at the indelicacy of his intrusion. He +almost hoped she would. When she sat motionless as a statue, he +continued apologetically. "I'm trespassing on things sacred. Because of +that I've fought to avoid this meeting, knowing all the time that it was +inevitable. I've tried to persuade myself that it would be kinder to +leave you in ignorance----" + +"Of what?" She strove to subdue her apprehension. Her profile showed +pale and expressionless, as if chiseled in the solid wall of darkness. + +"In ignorance of his grandeur." + +He had said the thing most remote from what she had expected. He was +aware of her relieved suspense--at the same time of her gentle +skepticism. He felt irritated with himself at his choice of words. +Grandeur did not express the meaning he had intended. When he made a new +start, he stumbled his way gropingly, confused by his consciousness of +her unuttered doubts. + +"Why I have to tell you this I can hardly say. It's not for his sake. +It's certainly not for mine. It's for yours, I fancy. Yes, I'm sure. By +doing him justice I shall be able to help you, though I have no reason +for supposing that you stand in need of help. It's to do him justice +that he's been urging me. Yet why should he have selected me to be his +spokesman? I wasn't his friend. I never met him till I reached the +Front; out there I really never knew him. No one did. He was like a +sleep-walker--a very silent man. You'll be wondering why, if this was +the case, I should be so impertinent as to mention his name to you--to +you of all persons, who can claim to have known him infinitely more +intimately than any one else. And you'll be wondering why, after two +months of procrastinating, I motored through the night from London to +force my way into your privacy, without forewarning or introduction. If +I'm going to be honest, I must run the risk of appearing absurd. I could +resist him no longer. He coerced me with ill-luck. Ever since I entered +your sister's house and discovered who you were, he's been urging----" + +"Who I _was_!" Her head turned slowly. It was her first intense display +of interest. + +"I mean your relation to him--that it was you who were his wife. At the +Front I didn't know that he was Lord Dawn; he'd blotted out his +identity. He was merely gun-fodder like the rest of us--something to be +sent over the top to be smashed and then to be left to sink into the +mud or else hurried back to be patched up in hospital. He was a +company-commander in my battalion. I knew nothing of his past. My +acquaintance with him began and ended in the trenches. I don't know much +now--only what Maisie's told me." He had been speaking with growing +earnestness. Suddenly he flashed into indignant vehemence. "What +Maisie's told me! It's false of the man as he was out there. He wants +you to believe that. Out there he was different. He may have been paltry +and base once; but he was reborn into a new nobility. He was white all +through. He was overpoweringly heroic. From the humblest Tommy we all +adored him--adored him for the example he set us. He was only cheerful +when there was dying to be done--out at rest and in quiet sectors he was +gloomy. The men loved him for that; it struck them as humorous. And yet +he was utterly indifferent to their love. He'd got beyond caring for +what anybody thought of him. He was too absorbed in establishing reasons +for thinking well of himself. I learnt things about him--one does in the +presence of physical torture. I learnt secrets about the fineness of his +spirit which, I believe, he never allowed you to suspect. Probably he +never suspected them himself until the ordeal of terror had sifted the +gold from the dross. It was the dross that Maisie remembered. But we, +who were his comrades in khaki, saw nothing but the gold--his untiring +ability to share. You weren't there; nevertheless, that's what I've got +to help you to understand. I've got to make you see the new Lord Dawn +who was born out there. It was last night, after Pollock returned, that +I saw my duty clearly. It came on me in a flash that, if a man who had +been counted dead could come back, it was not impossible that this +pleading from beyond the grave, which I'd tried to thwart and +ridicule----" + +He broke off abruptly. It was the wideness of her eyes that warned him. +He was conscious that she, too, was feeling that invisible pressure. She +was expecting to see something. He followed the direction of her eyes, +glancing behind him into the hollow dimness of the room, where the +solitary lamp was burning and the vanished lords of Dawn gazed stonily +down from their canvases. In that moment he was aware that he had been +stating facts as he had never owned them to himself. It was as though +his lips had been used---- + +"Things that he didn't allow me to suspect!" She sighed shudderingly. +"He allowed me to suspect so much. But tell me. What were these things? +Since they're the reasons for your visit, they must be important." + +"They're only part of the reasons." + +"There are others?" + +"The chief reason is yourself." He spoke cautiously, fearful lest he +might lose her attention by rousing her incredulity. Even to himself it +sounded preposterous that he, an outsider, should claim to bear so +intimate a message from a husband who was dead. "You believed, Lady +Dawn, that you had ceased to count in your husband's affections; yet +wherever his battalion went, you were present with us. The men and +officers knew you, without knowing who you were. You were with us in +the mud of the Somme; you went over the top with us in our attacks. More +than one young officer believed himself in love with you. Yours was the +last woman's face that many a poor fellow looked upon before he went +West. We were an emotional lot. Death made us natural as children. Women +meant more to us than they ever had before and than they ever will +again, perhaps. The nearness to eternity purged us of impurity. It fired +us with a wistful kind of chivalry. The change is hard to express. I've +known men, who hadn't a wife or sweetheart, cut strange women's +portraits from the illustrated papers and treasure them. As we sit here +it sounds a waste of sentiment; out there it seemed tragically pathetic. +Every man wanted to believe, even though his believing was a conscious +pretense, that there was one woman peculiarly his, who would miss----" + +He interrupted himself to glance again across his shoulder, following +her eyes where they probed the stealthy shadows. Then he brought his +gaze back. "That was how I first learnt to know your face--from the +portrait which your husband carried. Into whatever danger he was +ordered, you went--you accompanied him in the most real sense: he +carried you in his heart. From time to time I got glimpses of you. When +he thought no one was looking, he would prop your portrait against the +walls of dug-outs with a candle lighted before it, as if you were a +saint whom he worshiped. You were the inspiration of his steadfastness +to duty. What he did, he did for you. His courage was your courage; his +kindness was your kindness. He was striving every minute to be worthy of +you. I know of what I'm talking, for I did the same for Terry. Late at +night one would stumble down greasy dug-out stairs, coming in from a +patrol, to find him lost in thought and gazing at you. Or one would find +him covering page after page of letters which he never sent. When he was +dying, alone and far out in No Man's Land, he must have drawn out your +portrait from next his heart. It was so tightly clasped in his hand when +we found him, that we couldn't take it from him. I'd almost forgotten +all this until two months ago, when I recognized Sargent's painting of +you in your sister's house. Then for the first time I discovered your +name and who he was. Since then he's given me no rest." + +She had been leaning forward, her arm supported on her knee, her chin +cushioned in her hand, the white light from the mist-covered meadows +falling softly on her through the tall window, revealing the pulse +beating in her throat and the trembling of her thin sweet mouth. + +"What was it that he wanted you to do for me, Lord Taborley?" + +He hesitated, clasping his forehead, like a man whose memory had +suddenly gone blank. "I'm not sure. And yet I was sure before I started +talking. Didn't you believe that he died hating you?" + +She shook her head. "He left a child by me." + +"Then, perhaps it wasn't that he hadn't hated you, but that he'd loved +you in his last moments. Was it that which he wanted me to tell you?" + +Again, with a gesture, she negatived his suggestion. "He'd never have +doubted that I would know he had died loving me." + +"Then why did he send me?" + +Even while he asked it, he marveled at his certainty that she shared his +conviction that he had been sent. + +She turned her eyes full on his face and let them dwell there +searchingly. As he returned her gaze, he noted that she was less young +than he had supposed. She was older than her portrait. Her hair, which +had looked night-black in the shadows, was prematurely frosted. The +moonlight, strengthening, picked out remorselessly each silver thread. +She was no longer capable of putting back the hands of time for any man. + +She had read his thoughts. The pride went out of her voice. "Perhaps he +sent you," she faltered, "that he might give me back a little of what he +took." + +"What did he take? Anything that I have----" + +She leant back in her chair. Her face was again in shadow. "My youth. My +happiness." + +In the silence which followed he was aware that the third presence had +departed. + + +IX + +"Your youth! Your happiness!" He was astounded. "Strange that you should +say that! I thought that I alone was searching." + +"Let me talk," she begged. "I want to speak about myself. Not for my own +sake, but for yours. To men like you who have lived at the Front, life +has become a terribly earnest affair. You're like impatient children; +what you want you want quickly. You seem to be afraid to postpone +anything lest death should carry you off before your desire has been +granted. But you're not really different from women like myself. Crises +come to all of us, when life grows desperate--when to be alone becomes +intolerable: when everything, even one's pleasures, becomes a burden, +because they are unshared. Such a crisis would have come to you sooner +or later in any event. It comes to every unmarried man and woman. The +war only happened to be the means of bringing home to you your +loneliness. When it broke, you didn't have time to choose; you seized on +Terry, because she was young and pretty and susceptible. You were +terrified by the calamity of being blotted out before you had known +love. You forgot that there's a worse calamity--and that's being +compelled to live forever with a person for whom you have ceased to +care. A man like yourself can have any woman he likes, only any woman +wouldn't suit. She would have to be unusual--of a high type like +yourself. Such women are rare. The thought of Terry attracts you because +a marriage with her would seem to halve your years. But why should you +want to halve your years? To have lived ought to mean that you have +gained experience, which is the most dearly purchased form of knowledge. +Why should you be ashamed of it and so anxious to be rid of it? You +purchased your experience with blood. It's the most valuable of all +your possessions. And if you were to marry Terry, what could she +contribute? A pretty face, an unbroken body and all the intolerance of +her youth. A pretty face doesn't go far in matrimony. Husbands soon get +used to mere prettiness and learn to look behind it for character. A +wife, in order to be your friend, would have to be your equal in her +understanding of suffering. How much suffering has a girl like Terry +had?" + +He wasn't angry. He wasn't even offended. What she had been saying had +so clarified his thoughts that it had been as if he had been thinking +aloud. Her voice was a dark mirror, glancing into which he had +recognized himself. His self-knowledge carried him far beyond any +arguments of hers. He sat perfectly still with a face of iron, gazing +straight before him. + +What he had mistaken for chivalry and romance had been nothing but +foolishness. He had been enacting the unwisdom of an infatuated boy with +the solemnity of a mature man. His clamor had been unprofitable, +undignified, absurd--on a level with the amorous hysterics of Grand +Opera, save that it had lacked the redeeming storm of contending music. +The utter futility of so much wasted feeling bordered on tragedy; the +need which it had expressed had been so primitive, so distressingly +sincere. He was confronted with the necessity of confessing that his +passion for Terry was at an end. + +When had it died? Perhaps only since he had entered this quiet room, +with its moonlit landscape, its lowered lights and its wise mistress, +sitting so gravely alone with her patient beauty and her gently folded +hands. But even before he had entered, it must have been dying. For +weeks he had been flogging it, like an over-tired horse, into a feeble +display of energy. More than anything, his conduct with Maisie proved +that. + +Maisie's excuse for the error of her many marriages recurred to +him--that Gervis and Lockwood had hung up their hats in her hall. +Frivolous, yes! But had he been less frivolous in his treatment of +Terry? He had felt the compulsion to concentrate his craving to love and +be loved on some special woman! Terry had been handiest, so he'd hung +his idolatry on her. + +But to acknowledge this implied a fickleness of temperament that was +disastrous to his self-respect. It deflated him to the proportions of an +Adair. It toppled his lofty standards in the dust. It changed him from a +loyalist, making a fanatical last stand, into a haggard runaway. + +His pride leapt up in his defense. Turning to Lady Dawn, with grim +despair he muttered, "But I want her. I can't do without her. I want no +one else." + + +X + +Her voice reached him out of the darkness. "To own that we've been +mistaken takes more courage than to persist in the wrong direction. 'I +want no one else!' We've all said that. It was through saying it that I +brought about my shipwreck. But if you're sure that you want no one +else, you must have her. If there's any way of getting her for you, +I'll do my best to help." + +She made an effort to rise. She stood before him swaying, a blinded look +on her face, her eyes closed, her hands stretched out. He placed his arm +about her. Her weight sagged against him. + +"Not the servants," she whispered. "You and I. Give me air." + +With his free hand he jerked the catch and pushed the window wide. The +cool dampness of the night streamed in on her. He stood there with her +clasped against him, her head stretched back, her body drooping. In the +bowl of darkness at the foot of the turret, the rose-garden floated. Out +of sight, in the green-scummed moat, a fish leapt with a sullen splash. +A bird called. Wheels rumbled on a distant road. Again the silence was +unbroken. The moonlight, falling on her face, gave to it an expression +of childishness. Her breast and throat, gleaming white as marble, +reminded him she was a woman. + +She stirred. Her eyes opened. She gazed up at him wonderingly. "I'm +better. Foolish of me!" Then, inconsequently, "How tall you are, Lord +Taborley!" + +He supported her till she could lean across the sill. They leant there +together, their faces nearly touching. His arm was still about her; she +did not seem to notice it. He was dumb with tremulous expectancy. + +"It was about myself that I had to tell you," she whispered. "I was once +like you. I wanted no one else. I knew, even while I wanted him, that he +could never make me happy. Even when I was most in love with him, he +had qualities which I distrusted. After marriage the distrusting grew. +Yet all the while I was sorry for him. I would have given anything to +undo---- His sins were mine. With another woman, less virtuous, he might +have been good. In his yearning he tried to drag me down. I couldn't go, +not even if going would have saved him. There was something in me, not +exactly pride, that prevented. I have never spoken of this to anybody. +I'm saying it to you because----" + +She broke off. Why was she saying it? The perfume of June roses under +moonlight, mingling with the fragrance of her hair, was intoxicating. +His arm about her tightened. Was she only allowing him to hold her out +of pity because of his confession? + +"Because," she said, "I think before she knows of your visit it would be +better that you should go." + +He failed to grasp her logic. "But if I stay, she will never know." + +She released herself gently and gazed at him reproachfully. "Never know! +But you came in order that she might know." + +He was more than ever puzzled. He had come to tell her of her husband. +Did she not believe him? She seemed to be accusing him. He remembered +how she had claimed, when he had entered, that she could guess what had +brought him. "I came solely to see you," he said, speaking slowly. "I +was compelled, as I've told you. I give you my word of honor that my +visit wasn't even remotely related to----" + +A sharply indrawn breath cut short what he was saying. They turned +quickly, moving instinctively apart. Gazing in from the open door, +across the pool of lamplight, was Terry. + + + + +CHAPTER THE EIGHTH + +ROUND THE CORNER + + +I + +Lady Dawn was the first to recover her composure. "Why, Terry, I thought +you were in bed!" + +"I was." + +Terry's eyes shifted from Lady Dawn to Tabs. They were startled and +misty with sleep. She seemed only half-awake. Her hand rested on the +door as if ready for retreat. Her square little face was flushed; her +gold, bobbed hair was flattened where it had pressed against the pillow. +She was clad in a filmy negligee; her bare feet had been pushed hastily +into slippers and peeped out rosily from beneath the hem. She looked +immature--the way she had in days gone by when he had tiptoed to her +bedside through the darkness to feel her tight little arms leap +stranglingly about his neck. She had been really a tiny girl then. Why +couldn't she have stayed like that always? Why need she have roused in +him this torturing desire which she did nothing but rebuff? + +"I was asleep. I heard voices. I thought----" + +What had she thought? How much had she seen and heard? How long had she +been standing there? + +Tabs attempted to bridge the awkward silence. "I drove down from +London." Then he added, "That was last night." + +None of them had stirred. Lady Dawn advanced from the window into the +pool of lamplight. "I think I know what you thought--that something was +wrong. It was. I nearly fainted. If it hadn't been for Lord +Taborley----But come inside. Why do you remain standing there?" + +Terry stepped just across the threshold. Having closed the door, she +leant against it, still holding the knob in her hand. It was plain that +she was making an effort to be valiant. She looked fragile as a peeled +white wand; like a flower, shy and dew-wet. Life had not yet commenced +to break her. The clinging folds of her wrap emphasized her slenderness, +the grace of her lines and the girlish contours of her figure. + +Lady Dawn went to her and put her arm about her. "You're afraid. Of what +are you afraid? Surely not of Lord Taborley? He's been telling me---- To +be loved like that---- There was a time when I would have been proud." + +Terry's left hand went up to her breast. Her wild violet eyes looked +straight before her, seeking always the face of Tabs. They seemed to +call to him. He came slowly to the table where she could see him. It was +his chance. Lady Dawn was his advocate. It was the chance for which he +had waited. + +He was contrasting the two women before him; the one in her dainty, +enviable promise and the dumb hostility of her youth; the other in the +gentleness of her experience and the charity of her dearly purchased +understanding. Terry, whom he had loved since she was a child, had +become inscrutable. But Lady Dawn---- Was it her suffering that made him +know her as he knew himself? + +"I hadn't meant to intrude on you," he apologized. "I hadn't the least +idea you were here. How should I have had? You disappeared without +warning; at your father's house your address was refused me. Lady Dawn +will bear me out that, at the very moment you entered, I was assuring +her that my visit had nothing to do with you. Probably you heard." + +"Nothing to do with me!" There was relief in her way of saying it. She +visibly relaxed. "Then it isn't because of me at all that you're here?" + +The suppressed eagerness of her question was wounding. She wanted to +hear him state more positively that she had had nothing to do with his +visit. Whatever she had seen before they had become aware of her, had +had no power to rouse her jealousy. She could have given him no stronger +proof of how absolutely he had ceased to count. He smiled bitterly. "Not +because of you at all, Terry. The reason for my being here is strictly +private between Lady Dawn and myself. I didn't come to worry you. You +may set your mind at rest." + +"Then you didn't know or even suspect----" + +He laughed unhappily. "What more can I say to convince you? I haven't +the least idea what you suppose I could suspect. What business is it of +mine to suspect anything? And if I did, what license should I have to +interfere? We're not as we once were. There are no longer any +sentimental obligations that would hold us accountable to each other. +You've shown me that you consider our relation ended. In the face of +that, I should scarcely follow you into the country where, by all +accounts, you've come to escape me. It's purely a coincidence that you +find me here." + +He caught Lady Dawn's eyes resting on him. They were wide and clear and +interrogating. He knew what she was remembering: that it was in this +room within the hour that he had said, "But I want her. I can't do +without her. I want no one else." Self-ridicule tempered his spirit into +sharpness. He turned again to Terry. + +"Once and for all I should like to set your doubts at rest. You need +have no fear that I shall ever inconvenience you. We're bound to meet +from time to time, but I pledge you my word that I shall never refer to +the past. You're of an age to make decisions for yourself; you've +decided against me. You're acting quite within your privilege when you +discard old friends. You'll wonder why I state obvious facts. I'm doing +so in order that you may feel certain that I've withdrawn whatever +claims I had for influencing your movements. I shall always be +interested---- But as for presuming that anything that I might say or do +would make the least difference to your plans, I shouldn't be so +foolish----" + +Breaking away from Lady Dawn, she crossed over to him. Resting her hand +on his arm, she sank her voice and commenced speaking so hurriedly that +he alone could make out what she said. + +"I've been false and foolish. I don't need you to tell me. If you knew +how miserable I've been and how I've despised myself---- But I can't +help it. I go on doing things. I never used to be a beast--least of all +to you; never until you wanted me to marry you. If I can act like this +now, what sort of a wife---- Can't you understand? I'm trying to spare +you. But I won't have you hate me, Tabs. I can't endure that. Every +second that I've kept away from you, I've been wanting--not the _you_ +that you are now, but the old you. Won't you start afresh, liking me the +way you did when--before this happened?" She seized his hand on the +impulse and pressed it to her lips. It was the humble act of a small +girl. "Love me just a little. I'm not really bad. Please, please forgive +me my wickedness, dear Tabs." + +He stood dumbfounded and embarrassed. If they had been alone, he would +have known what to do. He was at a loss to find a motive for this +display of passion. Was it a ruse to get him back? He crushed the +suspicion as unworthy. Then was it what she had seen that had made her +possessive? Her tears fell scalding on his hands. + +He drew her to him. "There, there, little Terry! You mustn't. There's +nothing to cry about. There's nothing wicked in not having loved a man. +It's a thing that can't be helped." + +At the sign of his relenting, she threw away the last of her control. +Burying her face against his coat, she clung to him. All that he could +see of her was her golden head and her slight body, quivering with +sobbing. Her voice reached him muffled. "But I am wicked. I've pushed +you from me. If you knew---- If you did, you wouldn't touch me." + +There had been no sound, yet something warned him. He looked up. The +door was closing. + +"Lady Dawn," he called. In his voice there was the tremor of anxiety. + +On the point of vanishing, she glanced back across her shoulder. "What +is it, Lord Taborley?" + +The calmness of her austerity made emotion seem shallow. There was a +touch of scorn in her repose. + +"Won't you help?" + +She smiled faintly. "I was. I was going." + +"Then please don't. It's late. Both you and she must be worn out." + +Like a figure of silver, she came coldly back. But there was only +tenderness in her voice when she spoke. "Terry, did you hear what Lord +Taborley said? He thinks he ought to be going." + +Slipping her arm about the girl, she led her from him. Their footsteps +died out on the turret stairs. + +He waited, hoping that Lady Dawn would return. Now that she was gone, he +was invaded with his old loneliness. The dead lords eyed him cynically +from their canvases. Through leaded panes the moonlight fell. It seemed +the sorcery of her spirit. The perfume of the rose-garden was her +breath. How pale she had made his dream of Terry! How trivial she made +all women look when she stood beside them! There was nothing in this +gift of youth for which he had clamored. Terry's youth, had he married +her, would have been his scourge. He knew at last what it was that he +required at the hands of a woman--it was rest. + +There was no sound. The Castle was intensely still. He lowered the wick +of the lamp before he left, watched the flame splutter and waited till +it sank. Tiptoeing softly down the stairs, he slipped out noiselessly +into the romance of the summer's night. + + +II + +Next morning, for the first few seconds after he had wakened, he lay +wondering why he was so happy. Then he remembered. + +He had never had a friendship with a woman. From the start, though he +had hidden the fact from himself, his supposed friendship with Maisie +had been nothing less than lazy courtship. Terry had detected that when +she had said that he wouldn't have been so interested in Maisie if she +hadn't been so desperately good-looking. Until this morning he had had +no faith in such friendships. He had believed that their fundamental +attraction, however well concealed, must always be sex. They could never +be more than a pretense, in which either the man or the woman was +cheating--the one being anxious to give more than friendship, the other +deriving amusement from giving less. He had held that such relations +between men and women were inherently dishonest, doomed to end in a +clash of desire or to broaden into an honorable love affair. There was +no middle course between coveting a woman and neglecting her as entirely +dispensable. + +But this morning his point of view was altered. He was confident that +his interest in Lady Dawn was on an utterly different footing. He had +never had this peacefulness of feeling for any woman. He marveled at it. +He had to fight the disillusion that it might be no more than a mood. +His liking for her had come to him so suddenly. Suddenness in the +emotions prompted him to distrust. Yet his present contentment seemed as +secure as it was incomprehensible. His new affection compensated him for +all previous failures and atoned for the humiliation of every past +regret. + +At that word "affection" he halted himself. Was it affection that he +entertained for Lady Dawn? He took a good look at the suspected word and +decided that it was. But it was the affection of reverence. In owning +this much he qualified his admission by insisting that his affection was +totally devoid of passion. Passion in the presence of Lady Dawn looked +hysteric and paltry. She inspired a serenity which had nothing to do +with the physical. It was the charm of her character that entranced him. +Her body scarcely figured in his thoughts; when it did, it failed to +stir him. It was no more than the gracious vehicle through which the +beauty of her spirit was expressed. + +His paramount emotion was gratitude--gratitude that she, who was reputed +to be so cold, should so instantly have unveiled herself. There was a +startling purity in the frankness with which she had bared her spirit +to him. It left him awed and touched. He recognized the generosity which +had prompted her; she had realized his need of a woman's trust. And so +she had withheld nothing that would comfort him. She had made him feel +safe, the way a mother does. She had picked up the little boy that lies +hidden in the heart of every man, and had folded him in her breast. + +It had been shameless of her. He had not guessed that a woman could be +so good. + +And she had made him so finally sure of her. He felt that he could leave +her and know that her protection would follow him. He could return and +be equally certain that none of her understanding would have vanished. +She was the first woman who had impressed him with her wisdom; the only +one who had had the courage to offer him her strength. + +And this was not love. He smiled exultantly. It was nobler and +infinitely more rare. Love, as he had read of it and mistaken it in his +experience, was a devastating energy, greedy and devouring. It was a +continual, nagging contention between self-abasement and hostility. It +was a humiliating attempt on the part of a man to barter something, +which was persistently undervalued, for the feminine equivalent which +was as persistently hoarded. It was an amalgam of physical yearning, +wounded vanity and resentment of contempt. It was egotism masquerading +as altruism. It was a dancing bear lumbering at the heels of insanity. +Of all the passions it was the most hypocritical--a snare-setter, a +digger of pitfalls, an enemy disguised as one's dearest friend. He +thanked God there was no hint of love in his new-found friendship. Like +an outcast fleeing from a storm, he had blundered against the door of +this woman's charity, had felt it yield beneath his touch, and had found +himself immersed in the blessedness of instant and unmerited rest. + +Lazily he commenced to dress. From his window he could see the Castle, +perched grave and gray against the forehead of the clouds. He wondered +whether she was up, how she was occupying herself, whether she was +expecting him? He listened to her voice in the silence of his brain, +like the far-away singing of contralto bells. He saw her still face, her +slow smiling, the proud, sweet stateliness of her pacing steps. Then his +thoughts went back to whether he was expected. + +If he were not---- The thought chilled him. She had said nothing to +encourage him to seek her afresh. What if his reappearance should cause +her embarrassment--an embarrassment which she would betray by +withholding herself? It was quite likely she would impute to him wrong +motives. Already she might have repented of intimacies she had allowed. +He had placed his arm about her. With the injustice of most women, +though she had permitted it, she might be blaming him because the act +had been witnessed by Terry. Terry of all persons! Having had time to +reflect, she might be accusing him of gallantries. It was not so long +since she had confused him with Adair. From her untypical knowledge of +him she was entitled to estimate him as the kind of man to whom +promiscuous caresses were a practice. He turned coward at the +recollection of his daring. Last night it had been so involuntary and +had seemed so natural. Why had he done it? Why had she allowed it? It +had been the liberty of a plow-boy with a village-girl. There would be +little room for wonder if, when next they met, she fixed a No Man's Land +of pride between herself and his familiarity. She would have good +reason, for their companionship would be shared by Terry. Poor little +Terry, with her exaggerated sins and distorted self-accusations! + +He wandered down to breakfast disturbed by these apprehensions. As the +morning dragged by they took shape as facts. Towards noon he could +tolerate his uncertainty no longer. He turned his steps in the direction +of the Castle, having first determined, if he found himself unwelcome, +to announce that the purpose of his visit was to bid good-by before +setting out for London. + + +III + +He had been shown into the turret room and supplied with the daily +papers, while the same grave image who had admitted him the night +before, had departed in search of her Ladyship. More to calm himself +than to satisfy his curiosity, he commenced to glance through the news. + +It was a disjointed world that the pages reflected--not at all the +kingdom round the corner for which the war had been fought. Honor, +patriotism, heroism seemed forgotten words. The old ruthless scramble +of commercialism had restarted. The honesty of everybody, whether +individuals, governments or nations, was being doubted. Class and race +hatreds had broken loose. Strikes were pending. The Allies were allied +only in name; they gnashed their teeth at one another across the +council-table in Paris. The lying game of diplomacy had been revived. +Poison-notes were being exchanged. The tabby-cat statesmen who had been +too old to fight, were busy sowing the seeds of future wars. The +politicians who had nailed mankind to the cross, were casting lots for +the raiment which had survived the sacrifice. No one asked, "Is this +righteousness?" The only question was, "How much of it belongs to me?" +Meanwhile, the children of honester men who had died, starved by their +hundreds of thousands. Mothers pressed sick babies to their milkless +breasts. The mutilated, stoical with neglect, shuffled along the +pavements. Fanatics of despair turned hopeful eyes to Russia where a +devilment was brewing which, should it overboil, would pour destruction +across five continents. No one cared. + +He glanced through the window at the quiet landscape, lying green and +sun-dappled against the wet, gray streak of summer sky. Was his own +experience so universal? Were kingdoms perpetually round the corner, +always and always out of sight? + +As he again took up the paper, his eye was caught by a head-line: STEELY +JACK RUNS FOR PARLIAMENT. Immediately he forgot his pessimism and +became absorbed. Braithwaite had come out with the true story of his +life. He was calling on the seven million men who had seen service to +fight on in peace for the ideals for which they had fought in war. He +insisted that if they cast their votes together as one man, they could +control any election. If they combined with the patriot ex-soldiers of +other nations, they could control the world. He was out to smash +politics and the disastrous iniquity of political compromise. His aim +was to restore the comradeship and sharing which had enabled the old +front-line to stand fast. He was establishing a paper. He was +speechifying. He was to hold an immense mass meeting in the Albert +Hall---- + +Tabs laughed in sheer excitement. Here was one man at any rate who +wasn't content to miss his kingdom. He might have known it. He could see +Braithwaite's bleak look as clearly as if he stood before him. His +instinct was to join him and say to him, in the words of the coster, +"You and me was pals out there." He'd never lost an inch of trench. + +"Bravo, Braithwaite!" + + +IV + +"I beg your pardon, your Lordship." + +Tabs looked up. The dignified image had returned and was standing in the +doorway, with his chin thrust out and his nose at a high angle with his +collar. + +The man coughed deferentially. "If your Lordship will follow me----" + +But at that moment he heard her calling from beneath the turret wall, +"Lord Taborley!" + +Jumping to his feet, he hurried to the window and leant out. She was in +her riding habit, standing on the terrace above the rose-garden. "I've +just got back from my morning ride. I have to visit the kennels. I was +wondering whether you would accompany me." + +He turned to the footman. "If you'll show me the way out to the terrace, +I can find Lady Dawn myself." + +She had moved farther away to where the steps led down between the +rose-bushes. As he came towards her through the sunlight, she pretended +not to notice him, but stood meditatively flicking the dust from the toe +of her boot with her crop. Even when he joined her, she did not look up. +They descended the steps in silence. When they had turned along a path, +where no one could observe them, she raised her eyes. "I was afraid you +had left." + +He smiled, unconsciously imitating her quietness. "And I, too, was +afraid. I was afraid you would not want me." + +"Why not?" She stopped to pluck a bud in passing. "I should think any +woman would want you." + +He looked to see if she were chaffing. "Last night," he explained, "you +were present when at least one woman didn't want me. That was why----" + +She shot a glance at him with her honest, stone-gray eyes. Her hands +started out to touch him, but she recalled them. "You must feel sorry +for her," she said softly. "She's so young. I think you'll live to thank +her. She'll learn that men like you don't come every day--only once in a +lifetime." + +[Illustration: "_I was afraid you had left._"] + +Uneasily he harked back to her first statement. "Why did you fear that I +had left?" + +She shrugged her shoulders. "You had nothing for which to stay." + +"There was you." + +"Me!" She laughed wisely. "You had to say that out of politeness. In a +man's world I'm of no consequence. I know how I appear in your eyes. +I've been married, so I'm no longer a novelty. I'm not so young as I +was; I shall be older. And then I'm a mother--you forget that, Lord +Taborley. Oh no, I have no attractions to offer." + +"You have friendship." + +"Friendship!" She repeated the word with a shake of her head. "Men never +want merely friendship; they want less or more. They want vivacity--some +one who will halve their years, with whom they can sport and romp. Some +one who can have babies to them--little pink babies, with squirmy toes +and baldy heads. They want to begin everything afresh. They're not +looking for another man's left-overs. Even in the matter of +disillusionizing a woman, they want to do that for themselves. Men +who've not been married, demand that a woman shall be doing everything, +as they are doing it, for the first time. It's their right." + +"But there's another side," he protested. "A woman who's been married +has gained experience--the most dearly purchased form of knowledge, as +you yourself have told me. She can be trusted not to expect the +impossible. She's been over the course and knows the pitfalls. She's +learnt the value of compromise. She ought to have learnt how to be kind. +I think kindness is the thing that matters most. Few people are born +with it. You have to have been wretched to acquire the knack of it." + +"And yet you have it," she glanced sideways at him humorously, "and you +haven't been married." + +Realizing the drift of their conversation, he pulled himself up. He +feared lest she suspected him of flirting. "You're very generous, Lady +Dawn." + +They had arrived at a lookout point, where a lichen-covered summerhouse +stood, protected on the steeper side by a low stone wall. Below them lay +the moat, green-scummed and starred with water-lilies; throbbing in the +midday haze, the emerald sward of the parkland seemed to float. Against +the wall she halted. "What makes you say that I'm generous?" + +For all his thirty-six years, he blushed like a boy. "Because you take +me seriously. After last night you might have been either amused or +annoyed. The position in which I placed you was false. You thought that +I'd come from London to urge Terry to marry me. When I told you that +there was no one else in the world, you believed that I knew she was +staying with you--that I was trying to persuade you to plead my cause. +The anti-climax, after she'd surprised us, was the height of tragical +absurdity. It reduced all my high-flown sentiments to farce. I wonder +you were able to prevent yourself from laughing. Terry could afford such +a scene; she's little more than a child. I can't. With four more years +to my age I could pass for her father. No, please. I want to be hard on +myself. Let me finish what I'm saying. I've only met you twice; on each +occasion I've suffered a loss of dignity. The other time was when I +tried to turn you away from Maisie's door. You're probably aware that +since then, until Pollock's return, I've seen far more of your sister +than was wise. In fact I've offered myself like a job lot. And yet there +was a time when I was content to wait. I believed that one had only to +be faithful and he'd find what he hoped for round some future corner. +You're a proud woman, Lady Dawn. You admire strength almost cruelly. +You're inhumanly infallible----" + +Her eyes filled. She slipped her hand through his arm and patted it +comfortingly. By the contact she was comforting herself as well. "I'm +not. I wasn't infallible when I married. My pride came later to cover up +my fault. I don't say it to flatter you--any woman would want you." + +He gazed down at her. "How gentle you are!" + +"I understand." + +They strolled along in contented silence. They had trespassed far beyond +the bounds of discretion. A diversion was caused when they reached the +kennels. He watched her among the leaping hounds. She employed the same +tactics to quiet them that she had used with himself. With a coaxing +word and a caress she had them crouching at her feet. He listened to +the precision of her orders and the definiteness of her enquiries. + +"You'd have made a business woman," he remarked. + +She laughed. "I could if I'd been forced." And then, "By the way, you're +lunching with me, aren't you?" + +"I'll be delighted. But, since confessions are the fashion, I may as +well make a clean breast. If I had found that you were upset with what +happened last night, I'd planned to tell you I was off to London." + +"But you're not?" + +"One doesn't run away from happiness." + +He was afraid he had offended. Her expression clouded. She withdrew and +walked a few paces apart. He had come almost to the point of +apologizing, when she turned to him eyes that were misty--suspiciously +misty for a woman who never cried. "I'm glad you had the courage to tell +me, because I haven't felt so happy for---- I daren't own how long." + +On entering the Castle, she left him while she went to change for lunch. +As he waited, he reminded himself that in a handful of seconds he would +be meeting Terry. The anticipation provided him with none of the old +elation. With what ecstasy he used to watch for her in days gone by, as +though the world was reborn when she stood before him! Far from feeling +ecstasy, he was filled with uneasiness. Her presence would recall to him +his failure and would mock something beautiful that had commenced in +his life. What that something was he hadn't estimated. All he knew was +that, with the coming of Lady Dawn, every one of his problems had +mysteriously found settlement. He was no longer humiliated. He was once +more sure of his direction. He felt unreasonably strong and triumphant, +as though the goal of his striving was in sight. His old dread of +growing middle-aged impressed him as puerile. Whatever his age, she +would always keep pace with him. She was the same age as he was. Had he +been younger or older, he might have missed her or gone by her with +unseeing eyes. + +When he entered the room in which lunch was served, he found that Lady +Dawn was alone. Glancing at the table, he perceived with surprise that +only two covers had been laid. She read the question in his eyes and +answered it. + +"Terry's away. I forgot to tell you. She had an early breakfast and +motored into Gloucester before I was up. The car's come back without +her. She's sent no word as to when or how she proposes to return." + +"Something urgent?" he asked casually. + +"More likely shopping. A woman's shopping's always urgent. I'm no wiser +than you are. The first I heard about her going was when I was informed +she had gone." + +He relapsed into thought. It wasn't difficult to conjecture the reason +for Terry's errand. She'd been no more anxious to meet him just at +present than he had been to meet her. She'd taken the day off in the +hope that by nightfall he would have departed. + +Another solution occurred to him. "Did she ever mention to you a General +Braithwaite?" + +Lady Dawn met his eyes with a hint of warning. Listeners were present. +"I believe she did," she admitted discouragingly. + +"The only reason why I asked was that his name's in the morning papers. +She may have seen it before she started. If so, it might explain----" + +"John will know." Lady Dawn turned to the footman. "Did Miss Beddow read +the papers, John, this morning before she left?" + +"She did, my Lady. It was after she had read them that she ordered the +car." + +"Then that's it." Tabs dismissed the subject as unworthy of further +discussing. "She went to Gloucester to hurry off a telegram of +congratulation. Braithwaite's had a stroke of luck." + +"If that is all," Lady Dawn smiled mischievously, "I wonder that she +didn't come back in the car. A telegram can be dispatched in five +minutes." + +From then on, the threat of Terry's return hung over them, urging them +to make the most of their respite. Everything that had started between +them was so new and uncertain. No time-limit had been set to Tabs' +visit; his original reason for coming to Dawn Castle was exhausted. +There was no sufficiently plausible excuse for prolonging his stay in +the village longer. A little absence, a little carelessness of +forgetting, a few new interests and who could say but that this sudden +need of each other, which had rushed them together with such compelling +impulse, might not subside as unaccountably as it had occurred. In both +their hearts this dread was present--this distrust of the permanency of +their emotions. If they parted, they might meet again to find the magic +irrecoverable. + +After lunch they retired to the room in the turret. She chose her +favorite chair by the window and sat there sewing, with her work-basket +at her feet. He sat opposite, watching the busy occupation of her hands. +He noticed that many of the garments which she mended belonged to the +small boy whom he had seen in the rose-garden. + +She looked up. "I always do everything for Eric." + +It was later, when tea was being served, that the small boy himself +peered in on them. Tabs caught his jealous eyes peering round the +doorway. "Won't you come and talk to me?" + +But the child ran away, despite his mother's coaxings, and refused to +divulge his place of hiding. + +She apologized. "He's not quite eight yet--the only sweetheart I have." +Later she said, "I've been thinking of what we talked last night--I mean +his father. Would it be too far-fetched to believe that it was really he +and not your imagination, that piloted us together?" + +"Not far-fetched at all. I'm sure of it. He wanted us to meet that I +might tell you----" + +"What?" She bent forward, folding her hands in her lap and watching him +searchingly. "Not about his heroism; he'd take that for granted. Not +that he'd loved me; we both knew it. Not anything self-pitying or weak +that would rouse my regret----" + +"You know." His assertion was almost a question. "Somehow he's got his +message across to you." + +She lowered her eyes and resumed her sewing. "I couldn't sleep last +night. I lay awake puzzling and remembering--remembering the long waste +of years, the loneliness and the love that had turned to bitterness. And +now, when ordinarily there would be no chance to make amends, he sends +you to me, speaking through your lips and taking possession of your +thoughts. He's trying to do something for me--something that will blot +out my past for me, as his sacrifice has blotted out his past for him. +Something comforting and tender----" + +The seconds ticked by. If she had guessed the dead man's desire, she +refused to put it into words. The silence grew painful. + +Tabs looked at his watch. It was nearer six than five. He rose +reluctantly. "I suppose I should be going." + +"But you're staying in the village to-night?" + +"I hadn't intended. There'll be moonlight. I was planning to be in +London by morning." + +"Don't do that. You'll make me think you're afraid of meeting Terry. +Dine with me to-night." + +She had risen. Her gesture was almost one of pleading. He smiled +tenderly and took her hand. "Your wishes are mine. I'll run down to the +inn and dress." + +By the time he returned it was nearly seven. She met him with +ill-concealed trouble. "Terry's not back. It's strange. You see I'm +responsible for her. And----" + +The footman entered with a letter. "For your Lordship." + +"Are you sure?" Then Tabs recollected. "Yes, of course. I left my +address with Ann." + +As he took the letter he scanned the handwriting. "Odd!" When the man +had left, he turned to Lady Dawn. "It's from her. Did you guess?" + + +V + +"But why should she be writing when she'll be seeing you any minute?" + +Tabs squared his lips. He began to feel the stirring of a storm of +anxiety. "Perhaps, because she doesn't intend to be seeing me any +minute." He looked at the postmark. It had been mailed at eleven o'clock +that morning in Gloucester. He tore the envelope and commenced to read. +Before he had read far, he turned with a worried expression to Lady +Dawn. "This concerns you as well." She came and stood beside his elbow. +They glanced through the pages together. It was written on commercial +note-paper of _The New Inn_, Gloucester, and ran: + + DEAREST TABS: + + I love you very much--just as much as ever. I always want you to feel + sure of that. But my love isn't the kind you've asked for. It never + can be. Because of this there are so many things that I've not been + able to tell you--so I've been avoiding and deceiving you ever since + you came back. I know I've not been honorable. A promise once given + ought to be sacred; I gave you my promise that I would marry you. But + that's all I could do for you now--just marry you; I couldn't give + you the other things you would have a right to expect. I ought to + have said, the other things you have earned and deserved more than + any man. So, though I married you, I should still be robbing you, + which would be even more treacherous than not fulfilling a promise. + + That I'm in love with General Braithwaite is no news to you. Love may + not be the proper word. At least I'm so infatuated with him that + there's no room in my heart for any other man. Do you remember that + night in March, when you dined with us and asked my father for my + hand, and next morning early I came round in a panic to your house? I + didn't dare tell you all my trouble. The General had urged me to + elope with him. I _wish, wish, wish_ that I had. I should be his now + and sure of him. By delaying and suspecting I've all but lost him. + + I always knew that he would be a big man--as big after the war as he + was while it lasted. What this morning's papers say about him proves + it. So for all these reasons and because I can't bear to face you at + the Castle, I'm taking my fate in my hands. Please tell Lady Dawn + that I shan't be back and excuse me in any way you can. I'm only + carrying one small bag; she can send the rest of my things after me. + + There's one request I have to make--that neither of you will notify + my father till at least twenty-four hours have elapsed. All my future + happiness may depend on your granting this request. It's the last + favor I shall ever ask you. + + And now, my very dear Tabs, almost my brother, if this hurts you, + please take revenge by bundling me out of your mind. I was never your + equal, never worthy of you, though you placed me on a pedestal that + was far above you. Comfort yourself by believing that if you'd + married me, you would have found this out. What a wretched quitter I + appear in my own eyes after all you suffered in the trenches, to have + reserved this worse suffering for you, when your life has been spared + and you had counted on me for happiness. My entire body's not worth + your little finger. And yet how good you've always been to me-- + + You'll get a better woman than I am. I think I already know who + she'll be; if I'm right, I shall be so very glad. + + I feel so humble--so apologetic. It's such a different ending from + the one we dreamt when I saw you off on the troop-train with my hair + all blowy down my back. There's nothing gained by recalling that. I + meant so well by you; you've always been so much to me, my dearest, + loyal Tabs. + + Even though you despise me, I still insist on signing myself, + + Your ever affectionate + + TERRY. + +"I'm sorry." It was Lady Dawn. + +He shook himself. He was so raw that even her sympathy almost wounded. +"Don't pity me. It's she we've got to help. What's to be done?" + +"Done! I haven't thought. What can we----" + +"We can follow her and bring her back. We've got to--and we haven't much +time. You must have read between the lines what her letter meant. After +having turned Braithwaite down, she's gone off to beg him to elope with +her. When a girl puts herself at a man's mercy like that, there's no +knowing how he'll act. The chances are that, whatever he does, it won't +be honorable. We're got to prevent her, not only for her own sake, but +for his sake as well. He's just started on a great career; if this story +leaks out, he'll be smashed. They'll both be smashed, for that matter. +If she'd give him time to marry her honestly, it wouldn't matter whether +her family had consented. But she doesn't intend to--that's why she's +asked us to keep quiet for twenty-four hours. What we've got to do is +not to stop her from marrying him--no one cares about that; but to catch +her before she runs off with him." + +"But we don't know where----" + +"No, we don't." He spoke rapidly. "But we can find out. Ann can tell us. +Ann's a maid in my house; she was practically engaged to him when he was +my valet. Now that I look back, I'm sure she's known everything from the +start and has seen this coming. We can get Braithwaite's address from +her; when we know that, we shall have laid our hands on Terry." + +While he had been speaking, Lady Dawn had been rummaging through her +desk. He went and bent over her, his hands on her shoulders. She was +fingering a time-table. She looked up at him with her head leant back. +"There's no train--nothing that will reach London till morning." + +"Then we must motor." + +Her face was still raised to his. She spoke softly. "_We!_ You say _we_ +every time. Do you mean---- What do you mean, Lord Taborley?" + +His intensity relaxed. Flushing with confusion, he stared down at the +whiteness of her breast, the queenliness of her, her graying hair and +her expectant, tender mouth. "I want you to come with me. I ought to +have asked you properly. I've been taking you for granted and ordering +you about." + +She remained very still, gazing directly up into his troubled eyes. He +thought she was judging him. At last she whispered, "Don't be sad. I +like you to order me." + + +VI + +They had all night before them. If they left the Castle by ten, they +could be in Brompton Square by five in the morning. Nothing would be +gained by arriving earlier. + +Now that the first shock was over, they went into dinner as if nothing +had happened. In the long, dim banqueting-hall there were only the two +of them. They sat close together at the illuminated high-table like +castaways, marooned on an island, in an ocean of brooding shadows. While +they dined they conversed in lowered voices to prevent their plans from +being overheard. It was decided to take Lady Dawn's Rolls Royce and to +leave the runabout behind. The reason acknowledged was that it would be +more dependable. The reason unmentioned was that the presence of a +chauffeur would lend an air of much needed propriety. + +Gradually as they talked, the seriousness of their errand dropped from +sight; their journey took on the complexion of an adventure. Its +unconvention clothed it with romance. How unconventional it was they +realized when Lady Dawn gave the butler orders concerning her departure. +He was an old man, rigid with tradition, who, having served the family +for three generations, had acquired the aristocratic bearing of his +masters. + +"At ten o'clock, your Ladyship. To where? To London! That's a long +journey to take at night. And the car will call at the inn first to pick +up his Lordship's luggage. Oh, I see, my Lady. I thought at first that +your Ladyship was going." + +"I am," she corrected with quiet dignity. "Lord Taborley and I are going +on an errand of great importance. I don't want this talked about. You +understand? And who'll be driving? Witherall! Then warn Witherall to +keep silent." + +When the butler had withdrawn, she turned to Tabs. "I'm breaking all my +precedents for you. I couldn't have told him, if I hadn't had you to +keep me in countenance. He looked so shocked that he made me feel as if +it were you and I, instead of Terry, who were doing the eloping. I'm +sure that's what he thought. There'll be gossip. I shall have to pay the +piper; but I'm too happy to-night to look ahead." + +"It hadn't occurred to me----" Tabs hesitated. "I've been unpardonably +inconsiderate. I see it now--you'll be what they call compromised. In +that case, it will be wiser----" + +"It won't." She bent towards him laughing. Her pearls, nestling in the +white cleft of her bosom, gleamed dully, shaken by her quiet merriment. +In the short time that he had known her, she had become extraordinarily +girlish--almost girlish enough to put back the hands of time for the +proper man. "It won't. It won't be wiser. It's never wiser to turn your +back on happiness. I'd dare anything to-night. You've invited me; you +can't wriggle out." + +"If that's how you feel----" He checked himself. Her mischief warned +him. Instinctively he knew that she was about to ask precisely how he +thought she felt. He cancelled what he had intended saying and +substituted, "It's an ill-wind that blows nobody any good. And it's poor +Terry we have to thank for this chance of being together a little +longer!" + +"Is it a chance? You're not bored? You do want me?" + +He raised his eyes slowly. Her pain had startled him. Up to that moment +he hadn't been awake to how utterly he had come to want her. For an +instant he had a glimpse of the emptiness of life, should he find +himself deprived of her comradeship. + +"You didn't need to ask me that!" he said quietly. "And now it's my turn +to be inquisitive. Does it make you glad to hear me own that I want +you?" + +He watched her color rise. It was like the elfin tiptoeing of her spirit +behind the white transparent walls of her flesh. It climbed the smooth +ascent of her breast, passed up the columned tower of her throat and +stared out at him excitedly in the brightness of her eyes. + +"Men don't ask things like that," she said reproachfully, "at least, +only when they're flirting. I sometimes think---- Don't treat me like +all the others who were before me." + +"What others?" + +She held his gaze. "The emotional women and silly girls---- You must +have been loved very often, Lord Taborley." + +To have defended himself against her tender jealousy would have been +futile. She was plainly anxious to believe her accusation. Perhaps it +flattered her a little. Perhaps it lent him an added touch of glamor. He +was wondering how he should satisfy her. He could remember no hearts +that his fascination had broken. He could rake up absolutely---- She was +speaking again. + +"And yet I'm glad you compelled me to tell you that I wanted you. You're +making me do things that I never did before in my life. I'm supposed to +be a cold woman. You'll find people who'll say that I'm remote and +domineering. I've only one big affection--my little boy. For your sake +I'm leaving him alone to-night." + +"For mine?" + +"For whose else?" + +"I thought for Terry's." + +Her lips parted. The laughter died in her eyes. "In your heart you knew +better." + +Then he left her and went down to the inn to pack his bag. + + +VII + +He had paid his bill. His luggage had been carried downstairs. There was +still a full quarter of an hour to wait. He sat in his bedroom smoking +furiously. Before he met her again, he wanted to know precisely what had +happened to himself--and, perhaps, to her. + +He was filled with self-distrust. His newly discovered propensity for +falling in love was genuinely alarming. It wasted his time, upset his +plans and robbed him of his mental vigor. It made him a rudderless ship +at the mercy of any chance winds of sentiment. Up to less than three +months ago the solitary woman in his life had been Terry. Throughout the +war, while the masculine world had been making an amorous idiot of +itself, he had kept his head clear and gone straight. Things had come to +a pretty pass if now, when normality was returning and the excuse for +running wild was out-of-date, he should start on his emotional +escapades. His love for Terry had been deep-rooted. His fondness for +Maisie had been the attempt of a starved heart to satisfy its craving +with a substitute. But where was this pursuit of substitutes to end? If +it went much further he would gain for himself the reputation of being a +limpet who attached himself to any chance rock of feminine amiability. +The kind of woman he cared to associate with would avoid him. If ever he +were to fall in love again, his attentions would be so shop-worn +that---- + +If ever he were to fall in love again! Within the last twenty-four hours +his irresponsible heart had committed this disastrous folly for a third +time. + +He smiled cynically, as though he were two separate persons, one of whom +was cool and calculating, while the other was improvident and +scape-grace. How Lady Dawn would despise him, were he to reveal to her +the stupid commotion of his mind! His excuse for blundering his way into +her privacy had been sufficiently fantastic: that her late husband was +employing his living brain to communicate with her from the dead. It +must have strained her credulity to the breaking-point. If on top of +this he were to propose to her, what possible conclusions could she +draw? Either that in order to gain her intimacy, he had perpetrated a +cruel fraud; or else that he was so lacking in humor as to believe that +Lord Dawn, from beyond the grave, was arranging for his wife's second +marriage. The drollery of a dead husband acting match-maker made him +smile. In the middle of his smiling he pulled himself up. Why not? Why +shouldn't a husband who had wrecked his wife's happiness, try to repair +the damage, if that were possible, when through death he had attained a +kinder knowledge? The Roman Church prayed to the dead whom it canonized. +There were thousands of parents, wives, sweethearts, bereft by the war, +who were asserting that their longing had bridged the gulf and +penetrated---- + +He shook himself, as though to struggle free from an invisible +assailant. Hallucinations! All these so-called spiritualistic +manifestations were the result of over-taxed imagination. To stick to +facts was the only safe course; and these were the facts in his case. He +had approached Lady Dawn as a matter of duty to tell her the truth about +a husband whom she had not known at his best. She had misinterpreted his +motive and had believed that he had come to confess to her his own +failure. She had been thrown off her guard, had dropped her mask of +stoicism and had lavished on him a reckless kindness. But other women +had been reckless to him in their kindness. Terry had: so had Maisie. +Women's kindness had caused his present predicament--their kindness, +plus his awkward knack of valuing their kindness at more than its face +worth. He had learnt his lesson. Never again would he be lured into the +net of feminine fickleness. When he felt the temptation rising, he would +suppress and ignore it; at any rate he would ignore it until the woman, +who was rousing his affection, had declared her intentions beyond any +chance of mistaking. + +And Lady Dawn? She was in a class by herself. He held her sacred. The +mere thought that she should ever fall in love with him was +impertinence. To talk cheap sentiment would be insulting. It would cause +him to lose her friendship--a loss which he could not bear to +contemplate. It would be taking a mean advantage of a situation created +for an entirely different purpose.---- And yet, dare he trust himself, +now that he was in love with her, in the intimate aloneness of a long +night drive to London? + +He rose to his feet disgusted. If this was the loss of self-control that +peace had brought, better a thousand times the rigors of the sacrifice +that was ended. Out there he had been strong; here he was a sick dog, +licking his sores and whimpering at his own shadow. Self-pity had +wrought this wholesale impotence--an impotence which was infecting the +entire world. While individuals and nations had thought only of others, +they had been valiant; they had raced in generous competition, +clean-limbed as athletes, towards the tape, where endeavor ends and +eternity commences. And now this lethargy, this cowardice--this +monstrous fat of quaking emotion! + +A memory flashed back on him--an afternoon in March when he had been +obsessed by a similar discontent. It had happened in the Mall, after his +interview with Braithwaite and just before his introduction to Maisie. +He had come across a sign-board which had announced that, by following a +certain path, one would arrive at the Passport Office. That narrow +track, vanishing into the bushy greenness, had seemed to him the first +five hundred yards of the road that led to world-wideness and freedom. +At the end of it lay Samoa, Tibet, the Malay Archipelago--jeweled seas +and painted solitudes which human disillusions could not wither. +Instantly his will concentrated. By following that road he could become +lean-souled again. By reseeking hardships, he could recover his lost +discipline. The idea held him spellbound. It meant escape. It meant a +return to monasticism. Then and there he determined that he would +commence his preliminary enquiries to-morrow. + +Going to the window, he leant out. The quaint village street was +sleeping. The night was so still that, it scarcely breathed; it lay like +a tired child in the firm white arms of the moonlight. Coming smoothly +to a halt before the hostel was a powerful car. It was a landaulet and +the hood was lowered. Lady Dawn must have altered her plans at the last +moment; instead of sending for him, she had come herself! Catching sight +of him, she waved her hand. His heart became quiet. Like the night +without, his being was flooded with a drifting whiteness that robbed the +darkness of its terror. + + +VIII + +As he stood by the side of the car talking to her while his bag was +being stowed away, her manner was chillingly conventional. It was so +conventional that it bordered on the unfriendly. About the +unfriendliness of the chauffeur there could be no doubt. The elaborate +care with which he tucked the robe about her Ladyship had a distinct air +of alert possessiveness. + +When Tabs had taken his place beside her and the village was left +behind, she relaxed and laughed softly. "Such a trouble I've had! They +all disapproved of our expedition--I mean the servants. Their eyes +accused me of---- Perhaps it's better not to be explicit. But that was +why I called for you, instead of letting you come to the Castle. Did you +notice anything queer about Witherall?" + +"Your chauffeur? I thought he rather overdid his superciliousness and +that he treated you a little as if he were your husband. Apart from +that----" + +"Apart from that," she laughed, "he made you feel entirely welcome. You +mustn't mind him. My servants aren't used to seeing me with an escort. +And then---- Well, an all-night ride would be a little difficult to +explain to anybody." + +"I suppose it would." + +They relapsed into silence. It was jolly to be so near to her and, +after the fears he had had, to know himself so trusted. She sat quite +close to him, so that he could feel the warmth of her body. Her +shoulders touched him; sometimes she leant against him with a gentle +pressure. Her fragrance was all about him. The robe spread across their +knees gave an added touch of intimacy. He glanced down at her sideways. +She was wearing a moleskin coat with a deep collar of silver-fox. She +had on a moleskin hat, close fitting to her glossy head. Her face was +partly hidden by a smart veil. She was immaculate as ever--as composed +and stylish as if she were going to a theater-party instead of on an +all-night ride to London. But it wasn't her stylishness that impressed +him; it was her littleness. She looked very tender and pale as she sat +beside him. The moral back of her chauffeur, as seen through the glass, +condemned him of unkindness. He had had no right to ask her to accompany +him. Why should he have burdened her with his troubles? She must have +plenty of her own, with her boy to care for and her estate to manage. + +"I've been selfish," he said. "You ought to be in bed and sleeping now." + +She smiled. "Always blaming yourself, aren't you? I shouldn't be here +unless I'd wanted." + +"But why did you want?" + +Beneath the robe her hand commenced to grope. It stole into his own and +lay there quietly. "Because I couldn't bear to see you hurt. You're so +good. In some ways you're so strong; in others you're just as tiny as +my Eric. I felt you needed me for the moment." + +"For the moment! I shall always need you." + +"I wish you might." She shook her head slowly. "But you won't. You'll go +away. I shall hear about you--all the big things you're accomplishing +and planning. And then I shall remember that for just one night I had +you for my very own." + +"But we're always going to be friends. I shall be always coming back to +you." + +"Men don't come back, Lord Taborley. A man of your temperament is least +likely to come back. You press forward. You're eager. Wherever you go +you form new affections. I'm not like that. I'm cold. You don't think +so, but then I'm treating you as I never treated any other man. You +slipped under my reserve and reached my heart before I could stop you. +Do you know how I'm treating you? Just the way I'd like some good woman +to treat my little Eric one day, when I'm not here and he's a man." + +"But you're going to be here for a long time--just as long as I am." +There was alarm in his assertion. "I couldn't bear to think of your not +being in the world. It wouldn't matter so much whether I saw you; it +would be the knowledge that I could see you; that would make all the +difference." + +"Would it?" + +"Yes, I'm sure. You mustn't think that because there was Terry and--I'm +ashamed to have to own it--a passing fancy for your sister, that I'm +fickle." + +"I don't. I never thought it for a moment. What I thought was that you +were unhappy. People do a lot of foolish things when they're unhappy." + +"It seems so long since I was unhappy," he said gently. "You've healed +everything." + +She was shaken as though with a storm of sobbing. No sound escaped her. +She did a thing which was as amazing as it was beautiful. Raising his +hand which she had been holding, she hugged it against her breast. + + +IX + +During the night he nodded. Once when he wakened, he found her tucking +the robe more closely about him. "Go to sleep. You're tired," she +whispered, patting his shoulder. + +A strange woman--strangely maternal and beautiful! She never seemed to +think of herself. The women whom he had known had always demanded that +men should do all the giving. Even Terry had been like that. His +conception, of love had been of a continual bestowing with no hope of +reciprocity. To be allowed to give throughout one's life to the woman +beloved had seemed to him to be the maximum of married blessedness. He +knew better now. Lady Dawn had given so generously that she had +established a new standard; he would never again ask so little from any +woman. He began to perceive that all his approaches to love had been +self-abasing. In the true sense of the word he had never been in love. +Dream-intoxicated, yes! But all that he had experienced had been desire. +It was a new thought to him that a man must respect, even more than he +desires, the woman whom he covets. + +His feeling for Lady Dawn was one of worship. When he wakened to find +her watching over him, it seemed to him that the Mother of God sat +beside him. When God's Mother is symbolized in a living woman, love is +reborn into the world. + +The last time he awoke, dawn was breaking. The moon had grown feeble. A +chill was in the air. He sat up. "What! Still awake! I don't believe +you've slept a wink all night." + +"I haven't. I didn't want. I've been enjoying myself." + +"You look tired." + +He commenced to pile cushions behind her and tried to coax her to take +some rest. "If you insist," she assented. "But I'd much rather not. I'm +like a child at a party; I want to last out every moment." + +"Then let's talk. We're nearing London. We sha'n't get much chance for +being alone after we arrive. We don't know what we'll find. We may be +whisked away in opposite directions. Before we're separated, I want to +acknowledge what I owe you." + +"It's cold," she shuddered, drawing closer to him. And then, "You owe me +nothing." + +He was tempted to place his arm about her, but the cowardice of past +failure was strong upon him. He was afraid lest the ordinary gestures of +affection would cheapen him in her eyes; he was still more afraid that +they might mean to her that he valued her too lightly. He held himself +in hand, staring straight before him and speaking quietly. + +"I'm the only judge of what I owe you. I came to you broken. Life had +made a fool of me. I'd fallen through placing my ideals too high. +Everything was slipping. Every belief I'd ever had was open to doubt. +Most of all I'd lost faith in the goodness of women. To explain my state +of mind I have to tell you that the war had made me fanatical. Like +millions of men who went out to die, I'd persuaded myself that I was +fighting more than Germans--I was fighting to bring about the new heaven +and the new earth. Our politicians promised us as much. You remember +their phrases. 'A world safe for democracy! A land fit for heroes to +live in.' When all the muck and the heartbreak were ended, we found that +outwardly it was the same old world. Heaven was as far away as ever. +There were no signs that any one wanted a new earth. Nations which had +been comrades, began to wrangle. Soldiers came home to find their jobs +held by slackers. The glorious promises had been a death-bed repentance; +their insincerity was proved when the world recovered. But our worst +disappointment was utterly personal--that despite the magnanimity we had +shared and witnessed, we ourselves were no less selfish. For me all +these disillusions were epitomized in Terry. I'd fought for her. I'd +carried her in my heart. If I'd died, my last thoughts would have been +of her. I came back hungry and she disowned me. That she should have +done that made humanity a Judas and God a mocker. I don't mean you to +believe that I gave way at once to this wholesale injustice. At first I +made an effort to struggle against it. I'd always held that great living +was a matter of pressing forward, of wearing an air of triumph when you +knew you were defeated, of believing, in spite of every proof to the +contrary, that further up the road your kingdom waited for you." + +He felt the pressure of her friendly hand. "It does," she assured him. +"That's what you've taught me. It's what you taught Maisie; it's almost +as though you'd willed her husband to come back. You're a great +believer. All great believers have been doubters. They give away so much +of their faith that at times they have none left for themselves. You +limp. Don't flinch; with me there's no need to be sensitive. When you +entered my room for the first time, you made me think of another lame +man. Do you remember how Jacob wrestled all night with an unknown +assailant? When dawn was breaking his thigh was out of joint, but he +refused to let his assailant go until he had asked his name. The +stranger would not tell him--instead he blessed him. And then Jacob knew +it was with God he had wrestled. When the sun rose and he went upon his +way, he halted upon his thigh. You have the look that I think he must +have had--the look of a man who has been maimed in trying to make God +answer questions. It's that look and your very lameness that have given +me back something that Lord Dawn took from me--something that he knew, +when he sent you, you could give me back: my faith in men, without +which a woman can have no happiness." + +The ghostly world streamed by, silent-footed and mist-muffled. It was +the hour when children are born and weary people die--the hour of new +beginnings and ancient endings, when life and death, like soldiers +changing guard, salute at the cross-roads of the new day as friends. + +At last he broke the silence. "I thought I had nothing to give you. I +felt so empty. You seemed so strong and immovable, like a still tree in +a forest that was storm-shaken. You made me feel that however the wind +raged, beneath your branches there would be always rest. I never +knew----" He paused as though he had forgotten what he had set out to +say. "I never guessed that a woman could be so good." + +"Nor I that there was so good a man." + +They clasped hands so tightly that it hurt. The sun was rising as they +entered London. Trees dripped gold and birds were chattering as they +drove into Brompton Square. It was only when they had halted before the +sleeping house, gay with flaming window-boxes, that she released his +hand. With the severance of contact he awoke from his trance and +remembered the errand that had brought them. + + +X + +He had opened the door with his latch-key and had stood aside to allow +her to pass into the hall, when suddenly he clutched her arm and drew +her back. He signed to her to make no sound. Together they stood +listening. The early morning stillness was broken by a door shutting +smartly at the top of the house, a cheerful whistling and then the +unmistakeably firm step of a man descending. + +Tabs had no man in his employ, so what was a man doing in his house? +There was no secretiveness about the stranger's movements; on the +contrary, there was an airy boldness. + +The sunlight danced and nickered on the wall as if it shared the +excitement of their suspense. The footsteps drew nearer. They paused +dramatically. The whistling ceased abruptly. Had the stranger taken +warning? A match was struck. He was only lighting a cigarette. The +footsteps came on again. At the final bend of the stairs the intruder +came in sight. He halted, mirroring their surprise, and stood staring +down at them with a bleak, hard look. He was the man whom they had least +expected. + +Tabs was the first to collect himself. He closed the front door behind +him. "Good morning, General. You couldn't have been more prompt if we +had telegraphed you that we were coming." When Braithwaite still stared, +Tabs continued, "Allow me to introduce you to Lady Dawn and may I ask +how long I have had you as my guest?" + +Braithwaite drew a puff at his cigarette. His manner was as haughty as +if he had been the owner of the house. "Since last night," he said. "I +have to thank your Lordship for a bed. Mrs. Braithwaite----" A gleam of +amusement shot into his eyes. "Mrs. Braithwaite had a sentiment for +spending her first night beneath your roof. Seeing that you were away +and that I was so newly wedded"--he made an eloquent gesture--"I could +scarcely deny her." Turning on his heel, he commenced to reascend. +Across his shoulder he flung back, "Of course I apologize. We'll not +trespass further. In a few minutes I'll have her dressed. In half an +hour, at the outside, I'll remove her." + +"Don't be a fool." Tabs spoke sharply. "You make me wonder which of us +is mad." + +Braithwaite regarded him for a moment with an enigmatic smile. "I'm not. +Yesterday I did the wisest thing of my life." With that he vanished. + +Lady Dawn turned to Tabs gently. "If that's the way he feels, then he +has. Terry's to be congratulated." + +"But why on earth should she have wanted to spend her marriage-night in +my house?" Tabs questioned. "My house of all inappropriate places! +That's what I can't understand. And what could Ann have been doing to +consent? You remember I told you there was a time when he was +practically engaged to Ann." + +They mounted the stairs till they came to the first landing. Entering +the library, with its bright red lacquer, they sat down to await events. +But Tabs did not sit long; he was too restless. Having flung wide the +French windows which opened out on to the veranda, he kept going to the +doorway to listen. + +He glanced at his wrist-watch. "Barely six o'clock! Upon my word, I +don't relish the idea of her being disturbed. Braithwaite's such a +hot-head. For all I care, they can stop here as long as they like. I'll +take a holiday so as not to embarrass them." He faced Lady Dawn with +troubled frankness. "The question is: _are_ they married? I've been +trying to figure things out. They simply can't be unless he met her with +a special license in Gloucester. And even then, I can't see how---- But +if they're not married, surely he would never have had the audacity to +bring her to my house. It would be too preposterous--to the house of a +man to whom she was engaged, where she would be waited on by a woman +with whom he was once in love." + +At that moment Ann entered, pretty and sleepy-eyed, with Braithwaite +following close behind. Tabs commenced speaking at once, in order that +he might put them at their ease as regards his intentions. + +"We're not here to blame any one. You, General, evidently think that I'm +hostile. I'm not. As far as you're concerned, Ann, whatever you've done +is right. Of course I'm a little taken aback to find that my house was +chosen for the honeymoon. But if you'd like to have the use of it for a +week or so and Ann doesn't object, I'll clear out and leave you to +yourselves. You'll make me really happy if you'll accept the offer; +it'll be a proof of friendliness. You're wondering why we surprised you +so early. It wasn't to prevent you from marrying. It was because Lady +Dawn was responsible for Terry and we felt that a runaway match, with +the marriage announced after the event, might damage not only her but +you, General, as well. I read yesterday in the papers of what you're +doing and I want to say just this to you. You're the better man. You +deserved to win. Last time we met you refused to shake my hand. I hope +you'll take it now. You can afford to be magnanimous to a rival, now +that you're Terry's husband." + +Tabs stood with his hand held out. Braithwaite made no motion to accept +it; and yet his expression was generous. "I can't shake your hand as +Terry's husband, Lord Taborley. I'm not married to her." + +Lady Dawn sprang to her feet and came between the two tall men. "Not +married to her! But you intend to marry her? You told us you were +married." + +Braithwaite was still smiling. "I am." To their amazement he slipped his +arm about Ann and kissed her sleepy, tender mouth. "Terry is safe with +your Ladyship's sister. We took her there when she arrived last night." + +He turned to Tabs. "You said that I was the better man. I'm not. It was +your sense of duty that always urged me. I have to thank your Lordship +for the greatest happiness that can befall any man. You made me see it +as my greatest happiness, when I was in danger of becoming a cad. There +was one thing you said to me that sank into my mind. 'You'll never +succeed, however great your courage, unless you start with your honor +solvent.' You saved my honor. I didn't like your methods. But I thank +you with all my heart now. If it hadn't been for you, neither Ann nor I +would have come safely to our journey's end. I think we'd both like to +shake your hand." + + +XI + +It was two hours later. They were finishing their breakfast in the open, +on the balcony of the Hyde Park Hotel. From where they sat they could +watch a lawn-mower traveling slowly back and forth, patterning the sward +with alternate stripes of different colored greenness. They could smell +the acrid juices of newly cut grass. Beyond the islands of flowers and +vivid candelabra of trees, they could see the wild fowl of the +Serpentine rise and drift like phantoms across the sultry stretch of +blueness. Wheels of a water-cart grumbled sleepily against the gravel. +Moving through the sunlit shadows of the Row, riders were returning from +their early morning gallop. + +They were still together--just the two of them. They were romantically +self-conscious of the domestic appearance which their twoness caused. +Only married couples or very ardent lovers rise, while the lazy world is +sleeping, to keep each other company at breakfast. They had not had the +heart to disturb the General and Ann in their temporary possession of +the little nest-like house. + +Lady Dawn was speaking. "So you've done it again." + +"What have I done?" + +"What you did for Maisie. How did you put it last night? You've led them +to their kingdom." + +He smiled. "I seem to have a faculty for doing that. I do for others +what I can't do for myself." + +Still not looking at him, she said: "Perhaps you don't find your own +kingdom because you're too much in love with the search. You don't want +to bring your journey to an end. There are people like that." + +"I'm not one of them.--I wish you'd look at me, Lady Dawn. Do you know +what I covet most in all the world? Rest and certainty. I don't mean a +lazy kind of rest, but the rest of a mind at peace with itself--the +certainty we all had while the war was on, when we were adventuring for +the advantage of other people. I've done nothing lately that wasn't for +myself. I want some one to live for, so that I can forget myself. I've +been thinking----" + +The waiter presented the bill. Tabs scarcely knew whether to curse or +bless. He had been approaching the danger-mark; nevertheless, he wasn't +at all sure that he was grateful for the interruption. His heart cried +out to him to risk humiliation by one last act of daring. Experience +warned him that it is the sins of precaution--the follies left +uncommitted--that are most regretted by men of seventy. + +She rose as he was gathering up his change. The purpose that had brought +them to London was ended. There was no further reason for their being +together. If they were to prolong their companionship, a new excuse must +be invented. He saw by the tentative manner in which she waited, that +she also had realized that. He became perturbed lest she might dismiss +him. Speaking hurriedly to forestall her, he said, "I suppose we had +better make sure of Terry by hunting her up at Mulberry Tree Court." + +She barely nodded. Perhaps she thought, now that Braithwaite had been +eliminated as a rival, that this making sure of Terry betokened a +rekindling of the old infatuation. A constraint grew up between them. It +was not until they were standing on the top of the hotel steps, waiting +for her car, that he ventured to correct the wrong impression. "Funny +about Terry! If it hadn't been for her, we might never have been +friends. The first day of my home-coming she drew my attention to you; +it was too late--you had passed. You were driving with the Queen in the +Park. I remember what Terry said. She called you Di and spoke of you as +the most beautiful woman in England." + +She gave no sign that she had heard. As though she were unescorted, she +passed before him down the steps. But the moment they were seated in the +car, she turned to him. She looked her full age. Her face was pale with +more than weariness. He noticed the threads of gray in her hair. Ever +since he had seen Ann in her flushed shy exaltation, he had felt more +keenly the pathos of Lady Dawn. It was a pathos that found an echo in +his heart--the pathos of approaching separation. What purpose did it +serve her to be beautiful, if she had no man of her own to admire her? + +"You were on the verge of telling me something, when the waiter +interrupted," she prompted. "It began like a confession. You'd been +speaking about living for other people and your need of rest. Then, you +said you'd been thinking----" + +"It was about how one could make a man's job out of living," he answered +quickly. "It's all wrong that one should feel decent only when he's +attempting to get slaughtered. It takes neither brains nor perseverance +to be dead. Any one can----" + +"But it was about finding rest that you were speaking." + +"Yes, but I've burdened you with too many of my troubles." He hesitated, +wondering whether he dare tell her what had happened to his heart. "I've +done nothing for you. I've only borrowed from your strength. You're the +most restful woman, the most calm----" Then he dodged. "But since you +ask me of what I was thinking, it was of how I might escape to the old +hardships. I thought I'd call at the Passport Office and get in touch +with the Royal Geographical Society, and commence arrangements to +explore----" + +"Then I sha'n't be seeing you again?" She asked it in a tone of +dreariness, bordering on terror. Her hands trembled in her lap. She +stared straight before her. + +"But you will." He forced a cheerfulness into his voice which he was far +from feeling. "These things take time. It may be weeks----" + +"But you'll go away. I know it." + +"I suppose I shall. Sooner or later I shall return. In the meanwhile we +can write." + +She paid no attention to his consolation. Her face was gray as granite. +Her hands kept folding and unfolding. There was something symbolic in +their emptiness. "You won't come back. It's the end. You weren't sent, +after all." + +How or why he said it, he never could tell. The words were utterly +unpremeditated. He spoke them, ordinarily and unemotionally, as though +throwing out a casual suggestion. "We could get married, if that would +make you happier." + +"It's what I'd like." + +His heart missed a beat. He dared not credit his senses. He glanced down +at her, prepared to find that she was mocking. The most beautiful woman +in England! There was no mistake; she had actually asked him. + +"It's what I should like, too." He spoke conventionally. Nothing in his +tone betrayed his emotion. "It's what I've been dreaming from the moment +that we met---- When would be convenient?" + +"As soon as possible." + +"Would a week from to-day suit?" + +She nodded, "Or sooner." + +Beneath the robe his hand sought hers. He did not trust himself to look +at her. She was his, all of her and forever. It was marvelous. The +secret clasp of her hand was sufficient for the present. He was still +doubtful of his fortune and unnerved by his temerity. He felt aloof and +disembodied--an uninvolved spectator. And this was love, the journey's +end--this smiling stillness, which was so different from anything he had +imagined! + +They entered Mulberry Tree Court and drew up before the house with the +marigold-tinted curtains. It was while they were waiting for the door to +be opened that he broke the silence. Smiling down at her with a guilty, +glad expression he asked, "We're engaged now, I suppose?" + +She returned his smile less certainly. "I'm ashamed. But you won't +go----" + +He laughed at the folly of her question. "Go, when I've got you, the +woman whom I wanted!" + +"Then you won't go exploring? You won't exchange me for hardships?" + +"Di, dearest, I've done with searching." + +The door was opening. She pulled herself together. Porter stood before +them, neatly laundered, with the old suspicious meekness in her glance. + +"Good morning, Porter. We've come to see Miss Beddow. We've been told +that she's staying with my sister." + +"She is, your Ladyship. But none of them are down. She arrived so late +and unexpected." + +They followed her across the hall into the sun-filled drawing-room, with +its fragrant flowers, tall windows, rockery-garden and little oval pond, +with the toy boat floating on its surface. The moment the door had +closed, he had her in his arms. Now that he was sure of her possession, +he held her desperately as if he feared that he were going to lose her. +"Closer," she whispered. "Closer." It flashed through his memory that +the last time he was in that room, he had been the spectator of just +such a union and had fled from it because he was excluded. + +She stirred against him, lifting up her face. + +"This time you're really crying," he whispered. Stooping he pressed her +lips. "They always told me you never----" + +Freeing her arms, she clasped him tightly about the neck. He could feel +the weight of her body, dragging his face lower. She kissed him +passionately, stopping his breath, as though she would breathe into him +her very soul. "Oh, my dearest--my very dear! How cruel you were! You +made me ask you. I thought I'd never get you." + +The door was opening. Terry was watching them. The first they knew of +her presence was when she spoke. + +"You came to see me." + +They broke apart like shameful children and stood regarding her, their +hands just touching. She seemed their elder. + +"I suppose you have the right to jeer at me," she continued slowly. "I'm +left out. I was too cold. I'm too late. I didn't want what was offered +at the time it was offered. What I didn't want once, I can't have now. +And, perhaps, I still don't want it. Tabs used to speak of kingdoms. I +never knew what he meant. You've all found yours--Maisie, Braithwaite, +both of you and even Ann. Everybody, except me." She laughed to prevent +her tears from falling. "I suppose Tabs would tell me that mine's still +round the corner. You would, wouldn't you, Tabs?" + +Her need, which had been theirs, penetrated their happiness. They felt +again the old wild pang of neglected loneliness. Sargent's painting +above the mantelpiece, looking down on them, reminded Lady Dawn of her +own forgotten tragedy. It was unendurable that their gladness should +bring sorrow to Terry. With a common instinct they went towards her. +Lady Dawn placed her arms about her. It was Tabs who spoke. + +"Little Terry, you're not left out. You're ours more than ever. We've +not robbed you. We couldn't. Of you alone it's true that everything lies +before you. All the time you've had your kingdom, though you didn't know +it. You still have it--the Kingdom of Youth, for which we older people +were all searching." + +In the silence that followed there stole to them through the summer +sunshine, above the mutter of London, the music of a distant +barrel-organ. In the mind of Tabs a picture formed; it was of children +dancing along a golden pavement on that first spring morning of his +disillusion. The tune which the barrel-organ played was the same. His +brain sang words to the music: + + "Apres la guerre + There'll be a good time everywhere." + +And it was no longer an optimism--it was fulfilled promise. + +Surely, beyond the bounds of space, Lord Dawn also listened and was +happy. For Tabs, as long as life lasted, it would be the marching-song +of the kingdom round the corner. + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's The Kingdom Round the Corner, by Coningsby Dawson + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE KINGDOM ROUND THE CORNER *** + +***** This file should be named 25702.txt or 25702.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/5/7/0/25702/ + +Produced by Tamise Totterdell, Joe Free, Graeme Mackreth +and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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