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+Project Gutenberg's The Water-Babies, by Charles Kingsley and Warwick Goble
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Water-Babies
+       A Fairy Tale for a Land-Baby
+
+Author: Charles Kingsley
+        Warwick Goble
+
+Release Date: May 23, 2008 [EBook #25564]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE WATER-BABIES ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Juliet Sutherland, Emmy and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: Cover]
+
+[Illustration: "The thing whirred up into the air, and hung poised on
+its wings, . . . a dragon fly, . . . the king of all the flies."--P. 74.
+(_Frontispiece_)]
+
+
+
+
+
+THE WATER-BABIES
+
+A Fairy Tale for a Land-Baby
+
+BY CHARLES KINGSLEY
+
+          WITH ILLUSTRATIONS IN COLOUR BY
+          WARWICK GOBLE
+
+          MACMILLAN AND CO., LIMITED
+          ST. MARTIN'S STREET, LONDON
+          1922
+
+
+
+
+  _First Published 1863_
+  _Edition with 32 Illustrations in Colour by Warwick Goble, Crown
+      4to, 1909_
+  _With 16 Illustrations in Colour by Warwick Goble, Demy 8vo, October
+      1910_
+  _Reprinted November 1910, 1912_
+  _With 16 Illustrations in Colour by Warwick Goble, Medium 8vo, 1922_
+
+PRINTED IN GREAT BRITAIN
+
+
+
+
+                      TO
+
+                MY YOUNGEST SON
+
+                GRENVILLE ARTHUR
+
+                     AND
+
+         TO ALL OTHER GOOD LITTLE BOYS
+
+
+  COME READ ME MY RIDDLE, EACH GOOD LITTLE MAN;
+   IF YOU CANNOT READ IT, NO GROWN-UP FOLK CAN.
+
+
+
+
+ILLUSTRATIONS
+
+                                                          FACING PAGE
+
+  The thing whirred up into the air, and hung poised on its
+     wings, . . . a dragon fly, ... the king of all the
+     flies.--p. 74                                        _Frontispiece_
+
+  In rushed a stout old nurse from the next room                20
+
+  Play by me, bathe in me, mother and child                     32
+
+  A quiet, silent, rich, happy place                            35
+
+  She was the Queen of them all                                 44
+
+  From which great trout rushed out on Tom                      88
+
+  He watched the moonlight on the rippling river               101
+
+  Tom had never seen a lobster before                          113
+
+  The fairies came flying in at the window and brought her
+      such a pretty pair of wings                              126
+
+  A real live water-baby, sitting on the white sand            146
+
+  Tom found that the isle stood all on pillars, and that its
+     roots were full of caves                                  151
+
+  He crept away among the rocks, and got to the cabinet, and
+     behold! it was open                                       172
+
+  There he saw the last of the Gairfowl, standing up on the
+     Allalonestone, all alone                                  201
+
+  The most beautiful bird of paradise                          210
+
+  "That's Mother Carey"                                        219
+
+  Pandora and her box                                          224
+
+
+
+
+
+          "I heard a thousand blended notes,
+            While in a grove I sate reclined;
+          In that sweet mood when pleasant thoughts
+            Bring sad thoughts to the mind.
+
+          "To her fair works did Nature link
+            The human soul that through me ran;
+          And much it grieved my heart to think,
+            What man has made of man."
+
+                                WORDSWORTH.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER I
+
+
+ONCE upon a time there was a little chimney-sweep, and his name was Tom.
+That is a short name, and you have heard it before, so you will not have
+much trouble in remembering it. He lived in a great town in the North
+country, where there were plenty of chimneys to sweep, and plenty of
+money for Tom to earn and his master to spend. He could not read nor
+write, and did not care to do either; and he never washed himself, for
+there was no water up the court where he lived. He had never been taught
+to say his prayers. He never had heard of God, or of Christ, except in
+words which you never have heard, and which it would have been well if
+he had never heard. He cried half his time, and laughed the other half.
+He cried when he had to climb the dark flues, rubbing his poor knees and
+elbows raw; and when the soot got into his eyes, which it did every day
+in the week; and when his master beat him, which he did every day in the
+week; and when he had not enough to eat, which happened every day in the
+week likewise. And he laughed the other half of the day, when he was
+tossing halfpennies with the other boys, or playing leap-frog over the
+posts, or bowling stones at the horses' legs as they trotted by, which
+last was excellent fun, when there was a wall at hand behind which to
+hide. As for chimney-sweeping, and being hungry, and being beaten, he
+took all that for the way of the world, like the rain and snow and
+thunder, and stood manfully with his back to it till it was over, as his
+old donkey did to a hail-storm; and then shook his ears and was as jolly
+as ever; and thought of the fine times coming, when he would be a man,
+and a master sweep, and sit in the public-house with a quart of beer and
+a long pipe, and play cards for silver money, and wear velveteens and
+ankle-jacks, and keep a white bull-dog with one grey ear, and carry her
+puppies in his pocket, just like a man. And he would have apprentices,
+one, two, three, if he could. How he would bully them, and knock them
+about, just as his master did to him; and make them carry home the soot
+sacks, while he rode before them on his donkey, with a pipe in his mouth
+and a flower in his button-hole, like a king at the head of his army.
+Yes, there were good times coming; and, when his master let him have a
+pull at the leavings of his beer, Tom was the jolliest boy in the whole
+town.
+
+One day a smart little groom rode into the court where Tom lived. Tom
+was just hiding behind a wall, to heave half a brick at his horse's
+legs, as is the custom of that country when they welcome strangers; but
+the groom saw him, and halloed to him to know where Mr. Grimes, the
+chimney-sweep, lived. Now, Mr. Grimes was Tom's own master, and Tom was
+a good man of business, and always civil to customers, so he put the
+half-brick down quietly behind the wall, and proceeded to take orders.
+
+Mr. Grimes was to come up next morning to Sir John Harthover's, at the
+Place, for his old chimney-sweep was gone to prison, and the chimneys
+wanted sweeping. And so he rode away, not giving Tom time to ask what
+the sweep had gone to prison for, which was a matter of interest to Tom,
+as he had been in prison once or twice himself. Moreover, the groom
+looked so very neat and clean, with his drab gaiters, drab breeches,
+drab jacket, snow-white tie with a smart pin in it, and clean round
+ruddy face, that Tom was offended and disgusted at his appearance, and
+considered him a stuck-up fellow, who gave himself airs because he wore
+smart clothes, and other people paid for them; and went behind the wall
+to fetch the half-brick after all; but did not, remembering that he had
+come in the way of business, and was, as it were, under a flag of truce.
+
+His master was so delighted at his new customer that he knocked Tom down
+out of hand, and drank more beer that night than he usually did in two,
+in order to be sure of getting up in time next morning; for the more a
+man's head aches when he wakes, the more glad he is to turn out, and
+have a breath of fresh air. And, when he did get up at four the next
+morning, he knocked Tom down again, in order to teach him (as young
+gentlemen used to be taught at public schools) that he must be an extra
+good boy that day, as they were going to a very great house, and might
+make a very good thing of it, if they could but give satisfaction.
+
+And Tom thought so likewise, and, indeed, would have done and behaved
+his best, even without being knocked down. For, of all places upon
+earth, Harthover Place (which he had never seen) was the most wonderful,
+and, of all men on earth, Sir John (whom he had seen, having been sent
+to gaol by him twice) was the most awful.
+
+Harthover Place was really a grand place, even for the rich North
+country; with a house so large that in the frame-breaking riots, which
+Tom could just remember, the Duke of Wellington, and ten thousand
+soldiers to match, were easily housed therein; at least, so Tom
+believed; with a park full of deer, which Tom believed to be monsters
+who were in the habit of eating children; with miles of game-preserves,
+in which Mr. Grimes and the collier lads poached at times, on which
+occasions Tom saw pheasants, and wondered what they tasted like; with a
+noble salmon-river, in which Mr. Grimes and his friends would have liked
+to poach; but then they must have got into cold water, and that they did
+not like at all. In short, Harthover was a grand place, and Sir John a
+grand old man, whom even Mr. Grimes respected; for not only could he
+send Mr. Grimes to prison when he deserved it, as he did once or twice
+a week; not only did he own all the land about for miles; not only was
+he a jolly, honest, sensible squire, as ever kept a pack of hounds, who
+would do what he thought right by his neighbours, as well as get what he
+thought right for himself; but, what was more, he weighed full fifteen
+stone, was nobody knew how many inches round the chest, and could have
+thrashed Mr. Grimes himself in fair fight, which very few folk round
+there could do, and which, my dear little boy, would not have been right
+for him to do, as a great many things are not which one both can do, and
+would like very much to do. So Mr. Grimes touched his hat to him when he
+rode through the town, and called him a "buirdly awd chap," and his
+young ladies "gradely lasses," which are two high compliments in the
+North country; and thought that that made up for his poaching Sir John's
+pheasants; whereby you may perceive that Mr. Grimes had not been to a
+properly-inspected Government National School.
+
+Now, I dare say, you never got up at three o'clock on a midsummer
+morning. Some people get up then because they want to catch salmon; and
+some because they want to climb Alps; and a great many more because they
+must, like Tom. But, I assure you, that three o'clock on a midsummer
+morning is the pleasantest time of all the twenty-four hours, and all
+the three hundred and sixty-five days; and why every one does not get up
+then, I never could tell, save that they are all determined to spoil
+their nerves and their complexions by doing all night what they might
+just as well do all day. But Tom, instead of going out to dinner at
+half-past eight at night, and to a ball at ten, and finishing off
+somewhere between twelve and four, went to bed at seven, when his master
+went to the public-house, and slept like a dead pig; for which reason he
+was as piert as a game-cock (who always gets up early to wake the maids),
+and just ready to get up when the fine gentlemen and ladies were just
+ready to go to bed.
+
+So he and his master set out; Grimes rode the donkey in front, and Tom
+and the brushes walked behind; out of the court, and up the street, past
+the closed window-shutters, and the winking weary policemen, and the
+roofs all shining grey in the grey dawn.
+
+They passed through the pitmen's village, all shut up and silent now,
+and through the turnpike; and then they were out in the real country,
+and plodding along the black dusty road, between black slag walls, with
+no sound but the groaning and thumping of the pit-engine in the next
+field. But soon the road grew white, and the walls likewise; and at the
+wall's foot grew long grass and gay flowers, all drenched with dew; and
+instead of the groaning of the pit-engine, they heard the skylark saying
+his matins high up in the air, and the pit-bird warbling in the sedges,
+as he had warbled all night long.
+
+All else was silent. For old Mrs. Earth was still fast asleep; and, like
+many pretty people, she looked still prettier asleep than awake. The
+great elm-trees in the gold-green meadows were fast asleep above, and
+the cows fast asleep beneath them; nay, the few clouds which were about
+were fast asleep likewise, and so tired that they had lain down on the
+earth to rest, in long white flakes and bars, among the stems of the
+elm-trees, and along the tops of the alders by the stream, waiting for
+the sun to bid them rise and go about their day's business in the clear
+blue overhead.
+
+On they went; and Tom looked, and looked, for he never had been so far
+into the country before; and longed to get over a gate, and pick
+buttercups, and look for birds' nests in the hedge; but Mr. Grimes was a
+man of business, and would not have heard of that.
+
+Soon they came up with a poor Irishwoman, trudging along with a bundle
+at her back. She had a grey shawl over her head, and a crimson madder
+petticoat; so you may be sure she came from Galway. She had neither
+shoes nor stockings, and limped along as if she were tired and footsore;
+but she was a very tall handsome woman, with bright grey eyes, and heavy
+black hair hanging about her cheeks. And she took Mr. Grimes' fancy so
+much, that when he came alongside he called out to her:
+
+"This is a hard road for a gradely foot like that. Will ye up, lass, and
+ride behind me?"
+
+But, perhaps, she did not admire Mr. Grimes' look and voice; for she
+answered quietly:
+
+"No, thank you; I'd sooner walk with your little lad here."
+
+"You may please yourself," growled Grimes, and went on smoking.
+
+So she walked beside Tom, and talked to him, and asked him where he
+lived, and what he knew, and all about himself, till Tom thought he had
+never met such a pleasant-spoken woman. And she asked him, at last,
+whether he said his prayers! and seemed sad when he told her that he
+knew no prayers to say.
+
+Then he asked her where she lived, and she said far away by the sea. And
+Tom asked her about the sea; and she told him how it rolled and roared
+over the rocks in winter nights, and lay still in the bright summer
+days, for the children to bathe and play in it; and many a story more,
+till Tom longed to go and see the sea, and bathe in it likewise.
+
+At last, at the bottom of a hill, they came to a spring; not such a
+spring as you see here, which soaks up out of a white gravel in the bog,
+among red fly-catchers, and pink bottle-heath, and sweet white orchis;
+nor such a one as you may see, too, here, which bubbles up under the
+warm sandbank in the hollow lane, by the great tuft of lady ferns, and
+makes the sand dance reels at the bottom, day and night, all the year
+round; not such a spring as either of those; but a real North country
+limestone fountain, like one of those in Sicily or Greece, where the old
+heathen fancied the nymphs sat cooling themselves the hot summer's day,
+while the shepherds peeped at them from behind the bushes. Out of a low
+cave of rock, at the foot of a limestone crag, the great fountain rose,
+quelling, and bubbling, and gurgling, so clear that you could not tell
+where the water ended and the air began; and ran away under the road, a
+stream large enough to turn a mill; among blue geranium, and golden
+globe-flower, and wild raspberry, and the bird-cherry with its tassels
+of snow.
+
+And there Grimes stopped, and looked; and Tom looked too. Tom was
+wondering whether anything lived in that dark cave, and came out at
+night to fly in the meadows. But Grimes was not wondering at all.
+Without a word, he got off his donkey, and clambered over the low road
+wall, and knelt down, and began dipping his ugly head into the
+spring--and very dirty he made it.
+
+Tom was picking the flowers as fast as he could. The Irishwoman helped
+him, and showed him how to tie them up; and a very pretty nosegay they
+had made between them. But when he saw Grimes actually wash, he stopped,
+quite astonished; and when Grimes had finished, and began shaking his
+ears to dry them, he said:
+
+"Why, master, I never saw you do that before."
+
+"Nor will again, most likely. 'Twasn't for cleanliness I did it, but for
+coolness. I'd be ashamed to want washing every week or so, like any
+smutty collier lad."
+
+"I wish I might go and dip my head in," said poor little Tom. "It must
+be as good as putting it under the town-pump; and there is no beadle
+here to drive a chap away."
+
+"Thou come along," said Grimes; "what dost want with washing thyself?
+Thou did not drink half a gallon of beer last night, like me."
+
+"I don't care for you," said naughty Tom, and ran down to the stream,
+and began washing his face.
+
+Grimes was very sulky, because the woman preferred Tom's company to his;
+so he dashed at him with horrid words, and tore him up from his knees,
+and began beating him. But Tom was accustomed to that, and got his head
+safe between Mr. Grimes' legs, and kicked his shins with all his might.
+
+"Are you not ashamed of yourself, Thomas Grimes?" cried the Irishwoman
+over the wall.
+
+Grimes looked up, startled at her knowing his name; but all he answered
+was, "No, nor never was yet"; and went on beating Tom.
+
+"True for you. If you ever had been ashamed of yourself, you would have
+gone over into Vendale long ago."
+
+"What do you know about Vendale?" shouted Grimes; but he left off
+beating Tom.
+
+"I know about Vendale, and about you, too. I know, for instance, what
+happened in Aldermire Copse, by night, two years ago come Martinmas."
+
+"You do?" shouted Grimes; and leaving Tom, he climbed up over the wall,
+and faced the woman. Tom thought he was going to strike her; but she
+looked him too full and fierce in the face for that.
+
+"Yes; I was there," said the Irishwoman quietly.
+
+"You are no Irishwoman, by your speech," said Grimes, after many bad
+words.
+
+"Never mind who I am. I saw what I saw; and if you strike that boy
+again, I can tell what I know."
+
+Grimes seemed quite cowed, and got on his donkey without another word.
+
+"Stop!" said the Irishwoman. "I have one more word for you both; for you
+will both see me again before all is over. Those that wish to be clean,
+clean they will be; and those that wish to be foul, foul they will be.
+Remember."
+
+And she turned away, and through a gate into the meadow. Grimes stood
+still a moment, like a man who had been stunned. Then he rushed after
+her, shouting, "You come back." But when he got into the meadow, the
+woman was not there.
+
+Had she hidden away? There was no place to hide in. But Grimes looked
+about, and Tom also, for he was as puzzled as Grimes himself at her
+disappearing so suddenly; but look where they would, she was not there.
+
+Grimes came back again, as silent as a post, for he was a little
+frightened; and, getting on his donkey, filled a fresh pipe, and smoked
+away, leaving Tom in peace.
+
+And now they had gone three miles and more, and came to Sir John's
+lodge-gates.
+
+Very grand lodges they were, with very grand iron gates and stone
+gate-posts, and on the top of each a most dreadful bogy, all teeth,
+horns, and tail, which was the crest which Sir John's ancestors wore in
+the Wars of the Roses; and very prudent men they were to wear it, for
+all their enemies must have run for their lives at the very first sight
+of them.
+
+Grimes rang at the gate, and out came a keeper on the spot, and opened.
+
+"I was told to expect thee," he said. "Now thou'lt be so good as to keep
+to the main avenue, and not let me find a hare or a rabbit on thee when
+thou comest back. I shall look sharp for one, I tell thee."
+
+"Not if it's in the bottom of the soot-bag," quoth Grimes, and at that
+he laughed; and the keeper laughed and said:
+
+"If that's thy sort, I may as well walk up with thee to the hall."
+
+"I think thou best had. It's thy business to see after thy game, man,
+and not mine."
+
+So the keeper went with them; and, to Tom's surprise, he and Grimes
+chatted together all the way quite pleasantly. He did not know that a
+keeper is only a poacher turned outside in, and a poacher a keeper
+turned inside out.
+
+They walked up a great lime avenue, a full mile long, and between their
+stems Tom peeped trembling at the horns of the sleeping deer, which
+stood up among the ferns. Tom had never seen such enormous trees, and as
+he looked up he fancied that the blue sky rested on their heads. But he
+was puzzled very much by a strange murmuring noise, which followed them
+all the way. So much puzzled, that at last he took courage to ask the
+keeper what it was.
+
+He spoke very civilly, and called him Sir, for he was horribly afraid of
+him, which pleased the keeper, and he told him that they were the bees
+about the lime flowers.
+
+"What are bees?" asked Tom.
+
+"What make honey."
+
+"What is honey?" asked Tom.
+
+"Thou hold thy noise," said Grimes.
+
+"Let the boy be," said the keeper. "He's a civil young chap now, and
+that's more than he'll be long if he bides with thee."
+
+Grimes laughed, for he took that for a compliment.
+
+"I wish I were a keeper," said Tom, "to live in such a beautiful place,
+and wear green velveteens, and have a real dog-whistle at my button,
+like you."
+
+The keeper laughed; he was a kind-hearted fellow enough.
+
+"Let well alone, lad, and ill too at times. Thy life's safer than mine
+at all events, eh, Mr. Grimes?"
+
+And Grimes laughed again, and then the two men began talking quite low.
+Tom could hear, though, that it was about some poaching fight; and at
+last Grimes said surlily, "Hast thou anything against me?"
+
+"Not now."
+
+"Then don't ask me any questions till thou hast, for I am a man of
+honour."
+
+And at that they both laughed again, and thought it a very good joke.
+
+And by this time they were come up to the great iron gates in front of
+the house; and Tom stared through them at the rhododendrons and azaleas,
+which were all in flower; and then at the house itself, and wondered how
+many chimneys there were in it, and how long ago it was built, and what
+was the man's name that built it, and whether he got much money for his
+job?
+
+These last were very difficult questions to answer. For Harthover had
+been built at ninety different times, and in nineteen different styles,
+and looked as if somebody had built a whole street of houses of every
+imaginable shape, and then stirred them together with a spoon.
+
+          _For the attics were Anglo-Saxon._
+
+          _The third floor Norman._
+
+          _The second Cinque-cento._
+
+          _The first-floor Elizabethan._
+
+          _The right wing Pure Doric._
+
+          _The centre Early English, with a huge portico
+          copied from the Parthenon._
+
+          _The left wing pure B[oe]otian, which the country
+          folk admired most of all, because it was just like
+          the new barracks in the town, only three times as
+          big._
+
+          _The grand staircase was copied from the Catacombs
+          at Rome._
+
+          _The back staircase from the Tajmahal at Agra.
+          This was built by Sir John's
+          great-great-great-uncle, who won, in Lord Clive's
+          Indian Wars, plenty of money, plenty of wounds,
+          and no more taste than his betters._
+
+          _The cellars were copied from the caves of
+          Elephanta._
+
+          _The offices from the Pavilion at Brighton._
+
+And the rest from nothing in heaven, or earth, or under the earth.
+
+So that Harthover House was a great puzzle to antiquarians, and a
+thorough Naboth's vineyard to critics, and architects, and all persons
+who like meddling with other men's business, and spending other men's
+money. So they were all setting upon poor Sir John, year after year, and
+trying to talk him into spending a hundred thousand pounds or so, in
+building, to please them and not himself. But he always put them off,
+like a canny North-countryman as he was. One wanted him to build a
+Gothic house, but he said he was no Goth; and another to build an
+Elizabethan, but he said he lived under good Queen Victoria, and not
+good Queen Bess; and another was bold enough to tell him that his house
+was ugly, but he said he lived inside it, and not outside; and another,
+that there was no unity in it, but he said that that was just why he
+liked the old place. For he liked to see how each Sir John, and Sir
+Hugh, and Sir Ralph, and Sir Randal, had left his mark upon the place,
+each after his own taste; and he had no more notion of disturbing his
+ancestors' work than of disturbing their graves. For now the house
+looked like a real live house, that had a history, and had grown and
+grown as the world grew; and that it was only an upstart fellow who did
+not know who his own grandfather was, who would change it for some spick
+and span new Gothic or Elizabethan thing, which looked as if it had been
+all spawned in a night, as mushrooms are. From which you may collect (if
+you have wit enough) that Sir John was a very sound-headed,
+sound-hearted squire, and just the man to keep the country side in
+order, and show good sport with his hounds.
+
+But Tom and his master did not go in through the great iron gates, as if
+they had been Dukes or Bishops, but round the back way, and a very long
+way round it was; and into a little back-door, where the ash-boy let
+them in, yawning horribly; and then in a passage the housekeeper met
+them, in such a flowered chintz dressing-gown, that Tom mistook her for
+My Lady herself, and she gave Grimes solemn orders about "You will take
+care of this, and take care of that," as if he was going up the
+chimneys, and not Tom. And Grimes listened, and said every now and then,
+under his voice, "You'll mind that, you little beggar?" and Tom did
+mind, all at least that he could. And then the housekeeper turned them
+into a grand room, all covered up in sheets of brown paper, and bade
+them begin, in a lofty and tremendous voice; and so after a whimper or
+two, and a kick from his master, into the grate Tom went, and up the
+chimney, while a housemaid stayed in the room to watch the furniture; to
+whom Mr. Grimes paid many playful and chivalrous compliments, but met
+with very slight encouragement in return.
+
+How many chimneys Tom swept I cannot say; but he swept so many that he
+got quite tired, and puzzled too, for they were not like the town flues
+to which he was accustomed, but such as you would find--if you would
+only get up them and look, which perhaps you would not like to do--in
+old country-houses, large and crooked chimneys, which had been altered
+again and again, till they ran one into another, anastomosing (as
+Professor Owen would say) considerably. So Tom fairly lost his way in
+them; not that he cared much for that, though he was in pitchy darkness,
+for he was as much at home in a chimney as a mole is underground; but at
+last, coming down as he thought the right chimney, he came down the
+wrong one, and found himself standing on the hearthrug in a room the
+like of which he had never seen before.
+
+Tom had never seen the like. He had never been in gentlefolks' rooms but
+when the carpets were all up, and the curtains down, and the furniture
+huddled together under a cloth, and the pictures covered with aprons and
+dusters; and he had often enough wondered what the rooms were like when
+they were all ready for the quality to sit in. And now he saw, and he
+thought the sight very pretty.
+
+The room was all dressed in white,--white window-curtains, white
+bed-curtains, white furniture, and white walls, with just a few lines of
+pink here and there. The carpet was all over gay little flowers; and the
+walls were hung with pictures in gilt frames, which amused Tom very
+much. There were pictures of ladies and gentlemen, and pictures of
+horses and dogs. The horses he liked; but the dogs he did not care for
+much, for there were no bull-dogs among them, not even a terrier. But
+the two pictures which took his fancy most were, one a man in long
+garments, with little children and their mothers round him, who was
+laying his hand upon the children's heads. That was a very pretty
+picture, Tom thought, to hang in a lady's room. For he could see that it
+was a lady's room by the dresses which lay about.
+
+The other picture was that of a man nailed to a cross, which surprised
+Tom much. He fancied that he had seen something like it in a
+shop-window. But why was it there? "Poor man," thought Tom, "and he
+looks so kind and quiet. But why should the lady have such a sad picture
+as that in her room? Perhaps it was some kinsman of hers, who had been
+murdered by the savages in foreign parts, and she kept it there for a
+remembrance." And Tom felt sad, and awed, and turned to look at
+something else.
+
+The next thing he saw, and that too puzzled him, was a washing-stand,
+with ewers and basins, and soap and brushes, and towels, and a large
+bath full of clean water--what a heap of things all for washing! "She
+must be a very dirty lady," thought Tom, "by my master's rule, to want
+as much scrubbing as all that. But she must be very cunning to put the
+dirt out of the way so well afterwards, for I don't see a speck about
+the room, not even on the very towels."
+
+And then, looking toward the bed, he saw that dirty lady, and held his
+breath with astonishment.
+
+Under the snow-white coverlet, upon the snow-white pillow, lay the most
+beautiful little girl that Tom had ever seen. Her cheeks were almost as
+white as the pillow, and her hair was like threads of gold spread all
+about over the bed. She might have been as old as Tom, or maybe a year
+or two older; but Tom did not think of that. He thought only of her
+delicate skin and golden hair, and wondered whether she was a real live
+person, or one of the wax dolls he had seen in the shops. But when he
+saw her breathe, he made up his mind that she was alive, and stood
+staring at her, as if she had been an angel out of heaven.
+
+No. She cannot be dirty. She never could have been dirty, thought Tom to
+himself. And then he thought, "And are all people like that when they
+are washed?" And he looked at his own wrist, and tried to rub the soot
+off, and wondered whether it ever would come off. "Certainly I should
+look much prettier then, if I grew at all like her."
+
+And looking round, he suddenly saw, standing close to him, a little
+ugly, black, ragged figure, with bleared eyes and grinning white teeth.
+He turned on it angrily. What did such a little black ape want in that
+sweet young lady's room? And behold, it was himself, reflected in a
+great mirror, the like of which Tom had never seen before.
+
+And Tom, for the first time in his life, found out that he was dirty;
+and burst into tears with shame and anger; and turned to sneak up the
+chimney again and hide; and upset the fender and threw the fire-irons
+down, with a noise as of ten thousand tin kettles tied to ten thousand
+mad dogs' tails.
+
+[Illustration: "In rushed a stout old nurse from the next room."--_P.
+20._]
+
+Up jumped the little white lady in her bed, and, seeing Tom, screamed as
+shrill as any peacock. In rushed a stout old nurse from the next room,
+and seeing Tom likewise, made up her mind that he had come to rob,
+plunder, destroy, and burn; and dashed at him, as he lay over the
+fender, so fast that she caught him by the jacket.
+
+But she did not hold him. Tom had been in a policeman's hands many a
+time, and out of them too, what is more; and he would have been ashamed
+to face his friends for ever if he had been stupid enough to be caught
+by an old woman; so he doubled under the good lady's arm, across the
+room, and out of the window in a moment.
+
+He did not need to drop out, though he would have done so bravely
+enough. Nor even to let himself down a spout, which would have been an
+old game to him; for once he got up by a spout to the church roof, he
+said to take jackdaws' eggs, but the policeman said to steal lead; and,
+when he was seen on high, sat there till the sun got too hot, and came
+down by another spout, leaving the policemen to go back to the
+stationhouse and eat their dinners.
+
+But all under the window spread a tree, with great leaves and sweet
+white flowers, almost as big as his head. It was magnolia, I suppose;
+but Tom knew nothing about that, and cared less; for down the tree he
+went, like a cat, and across the garden lawn, and over the iron
+railings, and up the park towards the wood, leaving the old nurse to
+scream murder and fire at the window.
+
+The under gardener, mowing, saw Tom, and threw down his scythe; caught
+his leg in it, and cut his shin open, whereby he kept his bed for a
+week; but in his hurry he never knew it, and gave chase to poor Tom. The
+dairymaid heard the noise, got the churn between her knees, and tumbled
+over it, spilling all the cream; and yet she jumped up, and gave chase
+to Tom. A groom cleaning Sir John's hack at the stables let him go
+loose, whereby he kicked himself lame in five minutes; but he ran out
+and gave chase to Tom. Grimes upset the soot-sack in the new-gravelled
+yard, and spoilt it all utterly; but he ran out and gave chase to Tom.
+The old steward opened the park-gate in such a hurry, that he hung up
+his pony's chin upon the spikes, and, for aught I know, it hangs there
+still; but he jumped off, and gave chase to Tom. The ploughman left his
+horses at the headland, and one jumped over the fence, and pulled the
+other into the ditch, plough and all; but he ran on, and gave chase to
+Tom. The keeper, who was taking a stoat out of a trap, let the stoat go,
+and caught his own finger; but he jumped up, and ran after Tom; and
+considering what he said, and how he looked, I should have been sorry
+for Tom if he had caught him. Sir John looked out of his study window
+(for he was an early old gentleman) and up at the nurse, and a marten
+dropped mud in his eye, so that he had at last to send for the doctor;
+and yet he ran out, and gave chase to Tom. The Irishwoman, too, was
+walking up to the house to beg,--she must have got round by some
+byway,--but she threw away her bundle, and gave chase to Tom likewise.
+Only my Lady did not give chase; for when she had put her head out of
+the window, her night-wig fell into the garden, and she had to ring up
+her lady's-maid, and send her down for it privately, which quite put her
+out of the running, so that she came in nowhere, and is consequently not
+placed.
+
+In a word, never was there heard at Hall Place--not even when the fox
+was killed in the conservatory, among acres of broken glass, and tons of
+smashed flower-pots--such a noise, row, hubbub, babel, shindy,
+hullabaloo, stramash, charivari, and total contempt of dignity, repose,
+and order, as that day, when Grimes, gardener, the groom, the dairymaid,
+Sir John, the steward, the ploughman, the keeper, and the Irishwoman,
+all ran up the park, shouting "Stop thief," in the belief that Tom had
+at least a thousand pounds' worth of jewels in his empty pockets; and
+the very magpies and jays followed Tom up, screaking and screaming, as
+if he were a hunted fox, beginning to droop his brush.
+
+And all the while poor Tom paddled up the park with his little bare
+feet, like a small black gorilla fleeing to the forest. Alas for him!
+there was no big father gorilla therein to take his part--to scratch
+out the gardener's inside with one paw, toss the dairymaid into a tree
+with another, and wrench off Sir John's head with a third, while he
+cracked the keeper's skull with his teeth as easily as if it had been a
+cocoa-nut or a paving-stone.
+
+However, Tom did not remember ever having had a father; so he did not
+look for one, and expected to have to take care of himself; while as for
+running, he could keep up for a couple of miles with any stage-coach, if
+there was the chance of a copper or a cigar-end, and turn coach-wheels
+on his hands and feet ten times following, which is more than you can
+do. Wherefore his pursuers found it very difficult to catch him; and we
+will hope that they did not catch him at all.
+
+Tom, of course, made for the woods. He had never been in a wood in his
+life; but he was sharp enough to know that he might hide in a bush, or
+swarm up a tree, and, altogether, had more chance there than in the
+open. If he had not known that, he would have been foolisher than a
+mouse or a minnow.
+
+But when he got into the wood, he found it a very different sort of
+place from what he had fancied. He pushed into a thick cover of
+rhododendrons, and found himself at once caught in a trap. The boughs
+laid hold of his legs and arms, poked him in his face and his stomach,
+made him shut his eyes tight (though that was no great loss, for he
+could not see at best a yard before his nose); and when he got through
+the rhododendrons, the hassock-grass and sedges tumbled him over, and
+cut his poor little fingers afterwards most spitefully; the birches
+birched him as soundly as if he had been a nobleman at Eton, and over
+the face too (which is not fair swishing, as all brave boys will agree);
+and the lawyers tripped him up, and tore his shins as if they had
+sharks' teeth--which lawyers are likely enough to have.
+
+"I must get out of this," thought Tom, "or I shall stay here till
+somebody comes to help me--which is just what I don't want."
+
+But how to get out was the difficult matter. And indeed I don't think he
+would ever have got out at all, but have stayed there till the
+cock-robins covered him with leaves, if he had not suddenly run his head
+against a wall.
+
+Now running your head against a wall is not pleasant, especially if it
+is a loose wall, with the stones all set on edge, and a sharp cornered
+one hits you between the eyes and makes you see all manner of beautiful
+stars. The stars are very beautiful, certainly; but unfortunately they
+go in the twenty-thousandth part of a split second, and the pain which
+comes after them does not. And so Tom hurt his head; but he was a brave
+boy, and did not mind that a penny. He guessed that over the wall the
+cover would end; and up it he went, and over like a squirrel.
+
+And there he was, out on the great grouse-moors, which the country folk
+called Harthover Fell--heather and bog and rock, stretching away and
+up, up to the very sky.
+
+Now, Tom was a cunning little fellow--as cunning as an old Exmoor stag.
+Why not? Though he was but ten years old, he had lived longer than most
+stags, and had more wits to start with into the bargain.
+
+He knew as well as a stag that if he backed he might throw the hounds
+out. So the first thing he did when he was over the wall was to make the
+neatest double sharp to his right, and run along under the wall for
+nearly half a mile.
+
+Whereby Sir John, and the keeper, and the steward, and the gardener, and
+the ploughman, and the dairymaid, and all the hue-and-cry together, went
+on ahead half a mile in the very opposite direction, and inside the
+wall, leaving him a mile off on the outside; while Tom heard their
+shouts die away in the woods and chuckled to himself merrily.
+
+At last he came to a dip in the land, and went to the bottom of it, and
+then he turned bravely away from the wall and up the moor; for he knew
+that he had put a hill between him and his enemies, and could go on
+without their seeing him.
+
+But the Irishwoman, alone of them all, had seen which way Tom went. She
+had kept ahead of every one the whole time; and yet she neither walked
+nor ran. She went along quite smoothly and gracefully, while her feet
+twinkled past each other so fast that you could not see which was
+foremost; till every one asked the other who the strange woman was; and
+all agreed, for want of anything better to say, that she must be in
+league with Tom.
+
+But when she came to the plantation, they lost sight of her; and they
+could do no less. For she went quietly over the wall after Tom, and
+followed him wherever he went. Sir John and the rest saw no more of her;
+and out of sight was out of mind.
+
+And now Tom was right away into the heather, over just such a moor as
+those in which you have been bred, except that there were rocks and
+stones lying about everywhere, and that, instead of the moor growing
+flat as he went upwards, it grew more and more broken and hilly, but not
+so rough but that little Tom could jog along well enough, and find time,
+too, to stare about at the strange place, which was like a new world to
+him.
+
+He saw great spiders there, with crowns and crosses marked on their
+backs, who sat in the middle of their webs, and when they saw Tom
+coming, shook them so fast that they became invisible. Then he saw
+lizards, brown and grey and green, and thought they were snakes, and
+would sting him; but they were as much frightened as he, and shot away
+into the heath. And then, under a rock, he saw a pretty sight--a great
+brown, sharp-nosed creature, with a white tag to her brush, and round
+her four or five smutty little cubs, the funniest fellows Tom ever saw.
+She lay on her back, rolling about, and stretching out her legs and head
+and tail in the bright sunshine; and the cubs jumped over her, and ran
+round her, and nibbled her paws, and lugged her about by the tail; and
+she seemed to enjoy it mightily. But one selfish little fellow stole
+away from the rest to a dead crow close by, and dragged it off to hide
+it, though it was nearly as big as he was. Whereat all his little
+brothers set off after him in full cry, and saw Tom; and then all ran
+back, and up jumped Mrs. Vixen, and caught one up in her mouth, and the
+rest toddled after her, and into a dark crack in the rocks; and there
+was an end of the show.
+
+And next he had a fright; for, as he scrambled up a sandy
+brow--whirr-poof-poof-cock-cock-kick--something went off in his face,
+with a most horrid noise. He thought the ground had blown up, and the
+end of the world come.
+
+And when he opened his eyes (for he shut them very tight) it was
+only an old cock-grouse, who had been washing himself in sand,
+like an Arab, for want of water; and who, when Tom had all but
+trodden on him, jumped up with a noise like the express train,
+leaving his wife and children to shift for themselves, like an
+old coward, and went off, screaming "Cur-ru-u-uck, cur-ru-u-uck--murder,
+thieves, fire--cur-u-uck-cock-kick--the end of the world is
+come--kick-kick-cock-kick." He was always fancying that the end of the
+world was come, when anything happened which was farther off than the
+end of his own nose. But the end of the world was not come, any more
+than the twelfth of August was; though the old grouse-cock was quite
+certain of it.
+
+So the old grouse came back to his wife and family an hour afterwards,
+and said solemnly, "Cock-cock-kick; my dears, the end of the world is
+not quite come; but I assure you it is coming the day after
+to-morrow--cock." But his wife had heard that so often that she knew all
+about it, and a little more. And, besides, she was the mother of a
+family, and had seven little poults to wash and feed every day; and that
+made her very practical, and a little sharp-tempered; so all she
+answered was: "Kick-kick-kick--go and catch spiders, go and catch
+spiders--kick."
+
+So Tom went on and on, he hardly knew why; but he liked the great wide
+strange place, and the cool fresh bracing air. But he went more and more
+slowly as he got higher up the hill; for now the ground grew very bad
+indeed. Instead of soft turf and springy heather, he met great patches
+of flat limestone rock, just like ill-made pavements, with deep cracks
+between the stones and ledges, filled with ferns; so he had to hop from
+stone to stone, and now and then he slipped in between, and hurt his
+little bare toes, though they were tolerably tough ones; but still he
+would go on and up, he could not tell why.
+
+What would Tom have said if he had seen, walking over the moor behind
+him, the very same Irishwoman who had taken his part upon the road? But
+whether it was that he looked too little behind him, or whether it was
+that she kept out of sight behind the rocks and knolls, he never saw
+her, though she saw him.
+
+And now he began to get a little hungry, and very thirsty; for he had
+run a long way, and the sun had risen high in heaven, and the rock was
+as hot as an oven, and the air danced reels over it, as it does over a
+limekiln, till everything round seemed quivering and melting in the
+glare.
+
+But he could see nothing to eat anywhere, and still less to drink.
+
+The heath was full of bilberries and whimberries; but they were only in
+flower yet, for it was June. And as for water, who can find that on the
+top of a limestone rock? Now and then he passed by a deep dark
+swallow-hole, going down into the earth, as if it was the chimney of
+some dwarf's house underground; and more than once, as he passed, he
+could hear water falling, trickling, tinkling, many many feet below. How
+he longed to get down to it, and cool his poor baked lips! But, brave
+little chimney-sweep as he was, he dared not climb down such chimneys as
+those.
+
+So he went on and on, till his head spun round with the heat, and he
+thought he heard church-bells ringing, a long way off.
+
+"Ah!" he thought, "where there is a church there will be houses and
+people; and, perhaps, some one will give me a bit and a sup." So he set
+off again, to look for the church; for he was sure that he heard the
+bells quite plain.
+
+And in a minute more, when he looked round, he stopped again, and said,
+"Why, what a big place the world is!"
+
+And so it was; for, from the top of the mountain he could see--what
+could he not see?
+
+Behind him, far below, was Harthover, and the dark woods, and the
+shining salmon river; and on his left, far below, was the town, and the
+smoking chimneys of the collieries; and far, far away, the river widened
+to the shining sea; and little white specks, which were ships, lay on
+its bosom. Before him lay, spread out like a map, great plains, and
+farms, and villages, amid dark knots of trees. They all seemed at his
+very feet; but he had sense to see that they were long miles away.
+
+And to his right rose moor after moor, hill after hill, till they faded
+away, blue into blue sky. But between him and those moors, and really at
+his very feet, lay something, to which, as soon as Tom saw it, he
+determined to go, for that was the place for him.
+
+A deep, deep green and rocky valley, very narrow, and filled with wood;
+but through the wood, hundreds of feet below him, he could see a clear
+stream glance. Oh, if he could but get down to that stream! Then, by the
+stream, he saw the roof of a little cottage, and a little garden set out
+in squares and beds. And there was a tiny little red thing moving in the
+garden, no bigger than a fly. As Tom looked down, he saw that it was a
+woman in a red petticoat. Ah! perhaps she would give him something to
+eat. And there were the church-bells ringing again. Surely there must be
+a village down there. Well, nobody would know him, or what had happened
+at the Place. The news could not have got there yet, even if Sir John
+had set all the policemen in the county after him; and he could get down
+there in five minutes.
+
+Tom was quite right about the hue-and-cry not having got thither; for he
+had come without knowing it, the best part of ten miles from Harthover;
+but he was wrong about getting down in five minutes, for the cottage was
+more than a mile off, and a good thousand feet below.
+
+[Illustration: "Play by me, bathe in me, mother and child."--_P. 32._]
+
+However, down he went, like a brave little man as he was, though he was
+very footsore, and tired, and hungry, and thirsty; while the
+church-bells rang so loud, he began to think that they must be inside
+his own head, and the river chimed and tinkled far below; and this was
+the song which it sang:--
+
+              _Clear and cool, clear and cool,
+            By laughing shallow, and dreaming pool;
+              Cool and clear, cool and clear,
+            By shining shingle, and foaming wear;
+          Under the crag where the ouzel sings,
+          And the ivied wall where the church-bell rings,
+                Undefiled, for the undefiled;
+              Play by me, bathe in me, mother and child._
+
+              _Dank and foul, dank and foul,
+            By the smoky town in its murky cowl;
+              Foul and dank, foul and dank,
+            By wharf and sewer and slimy bank;
+          Darker and darker the farther I go,
+          Baser and baser the richer I grow;
+                Who dare sport with the sin-defiled?
+              Shrink from me, turn from me, mother and child._
+
+              _Strong and free, strong and free,
+            The floodgates are open, away to the sea,
+              Free and strong, free and strong,
+            Cleansing my streams as I hurry along,
+          To the golden sands, and the leaping bar,
+          And the taintless tide that awaits me afar.
+          As I lose myself in the infinite main,
+          Like a soul that has sinned and is pardoned again.
+                Undefiled, for the undefiled;
+              Play by me, bathe in me, mother and child._
+
+So Tom went down; and all the while he never saw the Irishwoman going
+down behind him.
+
+          "And is there care in heaven? and is there love
+           In heavenly spirits to these creatures base
+           That may compassion of their evils move?
+           There is:--else much more wretched were the case
+           Of men than beasts: But oh! the exceeding grace
+           Of Highest God that loves His creatures so,
+           And all His works with mercy doth embrace,
+           That blessed Angels He sends to and fro,
+           To serve to wicked man, to serve His wicked foe!"
+
+                                             SPENSER.
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER II
+
+
+[Illustration: "A quiet, silent, rich, happy place."--_P. 35._]
+
+A MILE off, and a thousand feet down.
+
+So Tom found it; though it seemed as if he could have chucked a pebble
+on to the back of the woman in the red petticoat who was weeding in the
+garden, or even across the dale to the rocks beyond. For the bottom of
+the valley was just one field broad, and on the other side ran the
+stream; and above it, grey crag, grey down, grey stair, grey moor walled
+up to heaven.
+
+A quiet, silent, rich, happy place; a narrow crack cut deep into the
+earth; so deep, and so out of the way, that the bad bogies can hardly
+find it out. The name of the place is Vendale; and if you want to see it
+for yourself, you must go up into the High Craven, and search from
+Bolland Forest north by Ingleborough, to the Nine Standards and Cross
+Fell; and if you have not found it, you must turn south, and search the
+Lake Mountains, down to Scaw Fell and the sea; and then, if you have not
+found it, you must go northward again by merry Carlisle, and search the
+Cheviots all across, from Annan Water to Berwick Law; and then, whether
+you have found Vendale or not, you will have found such a country, and
+such a people, as ought to make you proud of being a British boy.
+
+So Tom went to go down; and first he went down three hundred feet of
+steep heather, mixed up with loose brown gritstone, as rough as a file;
+which was not pleasant to his poor little heels, as he came bump, stump,
+jump, down the steep. And still he thought he could throw a stone into
+the garden.
+
+Then he went down three hundred feet of limestone terraces, one below
+the other, as straight as if a carpenter had ruled them with his ruler
+and then cut them out with his chisel. There was no heath there, but--
+
+First, a little grass slope, covered with the prettiest flowers,
+rockrose and saxifrage, and thyme and basil, and all sorts of sweet
+herbs.
+
+Then bump down a two-foot step of limestone.
+
+Then another bit of grass and flowers.
+
+Then bump down a one-foot step.
+
+Then another bit of grass and flowers for fifty yards, as steep as the
+house-roof, where he had to slide down on his dear little tail.
+
+Then another step of stone, ten feet high; and there he had to stop
+himself, and crawl along the edge to find a crack; for if he had rolled
+over, he would have rolled right into the old woman's garden, and
+frightened her out of her wits.
+
+Then, when he had found a dark narrow crack, full of green-stalked fern,
+such as hangs in the basket in the drawing-room, and had crawled down
+through it, with knees and elbows, as he would down a chimney, there
+was another grass slope, and another step, and so on, till--oh, dear me!
+I wish it was all over; and so did he. And yet he thought he could throw
+a stone into the old woman's garden.
+
+At last he came to a bank of beautiful shrubs; white-beam with its great
+silver-backed leaves, and mountain-ash, and oak; and below them cliff
+and crag, cliff and crag, with great beds of crown-ferns and wood-sedge;
+while through the shrubs he could see the stream sparkling, and hear it
+murmur on the white pebbles. He did not know that it was three hundred
+feet below.
+
+You would have been giddy, perhaps, at looking down: but Tom was not. He
+was a brave little chimney-sweep; and when he found himself on the top
+of a high cliff, instead of sitting down and crying for his baba (though
+he never had had any baba to cry for), he said, "Ah, this will just suit
+me!" though he was very tired; and down he went, by stock and stone,
+sedge and ledge, bush and rush, as if he had been born a jolly little
+black ape, with four hands instead of two.
+
+And all the while he never saw the Irishwoman coming down behind him.
+
+But he was getting terribly tired now. The burning sun on the fells had
+sucked him up; but the damp heat of the woody crag sucked him up still
+more; and the perspiration ran out of the ends of his fingers and toes,
+and washed him cleaner than he had been for a whole year. But, of
+course, he dirtied everything terribly as he went. There has been a
+great black smudge all down the crag ever since. And there have been
+more black beetles in Vendale since than ever were known before; all, of
+course, owing to Tom's having blacked the original papa of them all,
+just as he was setting off to be married, with a sky-blue coat and
+scarlet leggings, as smart as a gardener's dog with a polyanthus in his
+mouth.
+
+At last he got to the bottom. But, behold, it was not the bottom--as
+people usually find when they are coming down a mountain. For at the
+foot of the crag were heaps and heaps of fallen limestone of every size
+from that of your head to that of a stage-waggon, with holes between
+them full of sweet heath-fern; and before Tom got through them, he was
+out in the bright sunshine again; and then he felt, once for all and
+suddenly, as people generally do, that he was b-e-a-t, beat.
+
+You must expect to be beat a few times in your life, little man, if you
+live such a life as a man ought to live, let you be as strong and
+healthy as you may: and when you are, you will find it a very ugly
+feeling. I hope that that day you may have a stout staunch friend by you
+who is not beat; for, if you have not, you had best lie where you are,
+and wait for better times, as poor Tom did.
+
+He could not get on. The sun was burning, and yet he felt chill all
+over. He was quite empty, and yet he felt quite sick. There was but two
+hundred yards of smooth pasture between him and the cottage, and yet he
+could not walk down it. He could hear the stream murmuring only one
+field beyond it, and yet it seemed to him as if it was a hundred miles
+off.
+
+He lay down on the grass till the beetles ran over him, and the flies
+settled on his nose. I don't know when he would have got up again, if
+the gnats and the midges had not taken compassion on him. But the gnats
+blew their trumpets so loud in his ear, and the midges nibbled so at his
+hands and face wherever they could find a place free from soot, that at
+last he woke up, and stumbled away, down over a low wall, and into a
+narrow road, and up to the cottage door.
+
+And a neat pretty cottage it was, with clipped yew hedges all round the
+garden, and yews inside too, cut into peacocks and trumpets and teapots
+and all kinds of queer shapes. And out of the open door came a noise
+like that of the frogs on the Great-A, when they know that it is going
+to be scorching hot to-morrow--and how they know that I don't know, and
+you don't know, and nobody knows.
+
+He came slowly up to the open door, which was all hung round with
+clematis and roses; and then peeped in, half afraid.
+
+And there sat by the empty fireplace, which was filled with a pot of
+sweet herbs, the nicest old woman that ever was seen, in her red
+petticoat, and short dimity bedgown, and clean white cap, with a black
+silk handkerchief over it, tied under her chin. At her feet sat the
+grandfather of all the cats; and opposite her sat, on two benches,
+twelve or fourteen neat, rosy, chubby little children, learning their
+Chris-cross-row; and gabble enough they made about it.
+
+Such a pleasant cottage it was, with a shiny clean stone floor, and
+curious old prints on the walls, and an old black oak sideboard full of
+bright pewter and brass dishes, and a cuckoo clock in the corner, which
+began shouting as soon as Tom appeared: not that it was frightened at
+Tom, but that it was just eleven o'clock.
+
+All the children started at Tom's dirty black figure,--the girls began
+to cry, and the boys began to laugh, and all pointed at him rudely
+enough; but Tom was too tired to care for that.
+
+"What art thou, and what dost want?" cried the old dame. "A
+chimney-sweep! Away with thee! I'll have no sweeps here."
+
+"Water," said poor little Tom, quite faint.
+
+"Water? There's plenty i' the beck," she said, quite sharply.
+
+"But I can't get there; I'm most clemmed with hunger and drought." And
+Tom sank down upon the door-step, and laid his head against the post.
+
+And the old dame looked at him through her spectacles one minute, and
+two, and three; and then she said, "He's sick; and a bairn's a bairn,
+sweep or none."
+
+"Water," said Tom.
+
+"God forgive me!" and she put by her spectacles, and rose, and came to
+Tom. "Water's bad for thee; I'll give thee milk." And she toddled off
+into the next room, and brought a cup of milk and a bit of bread.
+
+Tom drank the milk off at one draught, and then looked up, revived.
+
+"Where didst come from?" said the dame.
+
+"Over Fell, there," said Tom, and pointed up into the sky.
+
+"Over Harthover? and down Lewthwaite Crag? Art sure thou art not lying?"
+
+"Why should I?" said Tom, and leant his head against the post.
+
+"And how got ye up there?"
+
+"I came over from the Place"; and Tom was so tired and desperate he had
+no heart or time to think of a story, so he told all the truth in a few
+words.
+
+"Bless thy little heart! And thou hast not been stealing, then?"
+
+"No."
+
+"Bless thy little heart! and I'll warrant not. Why, God's guided the
+bairn, because he was innocent! Away from the Place, and over Harthover
+Fell, and down Lewthwaite Crag! Who ever heard the like, if God hadn't
+led him? Why dost not eat thy bread?"
+
+"I can't."
+
+"It's good enough, for I made it myself."
+
+"I can't," said Tom, and he laid his head on his knees, and then asked--
+
+"Is it Sunday?"
+
+"No, then; why should it be?"
+
+"Because I hear the church-bells ringing so."
+
+"Bless thy pretty heart! The bairn's sick. Come wi' me, and I'll hap
+thee up somewhere. If thou wert a bit cleaner I'd put thee in my own
+bed, for the Lord's sake. But come along here."
+
+But when Tom tried to get up, he was so tired and giddy that she had to
+help him and lead him.
+
+She put him in an outhouse upon soft sweet hay and an old rug, and bade
+him sleep off his walk, and she would come to him when school was over,
+in an hour's time.
+
+And so she went in again, expecting Tom to fall fast asleep at once.
+
+But Tom did not fall asleep.
+
+Instead of it he turned and tossed and kicked about in the strangest
+way, and felt so hot all over that he longed to get into the river and
+cool himself; and then he fell half asleep, and dreamt that he heard the
+little white lady crying to him, "Oh, you're so dirty; go and be
+washed"; and then that he heard the Irishwoman saying, "Those that wish
+to be clean, clean they will be." And then he heard the church-bells
+ring so loud, close to him too, that he was sure it must be Sunday, in
+spite of what the old dame had said; and he would go to church, and see
+what a church was like inside, for he had never been in one, poor little
+fellow, in all his life. But the people would never let him come in, all
+over soot and dirt like that. He must go to the river and wash first.
+And he said out loud again and again, though being half asleep he did
+not know it, "I must be clean, I must be clean."
+
+And all of a sudden he found himself, not in the outhouse on the hay,
+but in the middle of a meadow, over the road, with the stream just
+before him, saying continually, "I must be clean, I must be clean." He
+had got there on his own legs, between sleep and awake, as children will
+often get out of bed, and go about the room, when they are not quite
+well. But he was not a bit surprised, and went on to the bank of the
+brook, and lay down on the grass, and looked into the clear, clear
+limestone water, with every pebble at the bottom bright and clean, while
+the little silver trout dashed about in fright at the sight of his black
+face; and he dipped his hand in and found it so cool, cool, cool; and he
+said, "I will be a fish; I will swim in the water; I must be clean, I
+must be clean."
+
+So he pulled off all his clothes in such haste that he tore some of
+them, which was easy enough with such ragged old things. And he put his
+poor hot sore feet into the water; and then his legs; and the farther he
+went in, the more the church-bells rang in his head.
+
+"Ah," said Tom, "I must be quick and wash myself; the bells are ringing
+quite loud now; and they will stop soon, and then the door will be shut,
+and I shall never be able to get in at all."
+
+Tom was mistaken: for in England the church doors are left open all
+service time, for everybody who likes to come in, Churchman or
+Dissenter; ay, even if he were a Turk or a Heathen; and if any man dared
+to turn him out, as long as he behaved quietly, the good old English law
+would punish that man, as he deserved, for ordering any peaceable person
+out of God's house, which belongs to all alike. But Tom did not know
+that, any more than he knew a great deal more which people ought to
+know.
+
+[Illustration: "She was the Queen of them all."--_P. 44._]
+
+And all the while he never saw the Irishwoman, not behind him this time,
+but before.
+
+For just before he came to the river side, she had stept down into the
+cool clear water; and her shawl and her petticoat floated off her, and
+the green water-weeds floated round her sides, and the white
+water-lilies floated round her head, and the fairies of the stream came
+up from the bottom and bore her away and down upon their arms; for she
+was the Queen of them all; and perhaps of more besides.
+
+"Where have you been?" they asked her.
+
+"I have been smoothing sick folks' pillows, and whispering sweet dreams
+into their ears; opening cottage casements, to let out the stifling air;
+coaxing little children away from gutters, and foul pools where fever
+breeds; turning women from the gin-shop door, and staying men's hands as
+they were going to strike their wives; doing all I can to help those who
+will not help themselves; and little enough that is, and weary work for
+me. But I have brought you a new little brother, and watched him safe
+all the way here."
+
+Then all the fairies laughed for joy at the thought that they had a
+little brother coming.
+
+"But mind, maidens, he must not see you, or know that you are here. He
+is but a savage now, and like the beasts which perish; and from the
+beasts which perish he must learn. So you must not play with him, or
+speak to him, or let him see you: but only keep him from being harmed."
+
+Then the fairies were sad, because they could not play with their new
+brother, but they always did what they were told.
+
+And their Queen floated away down the river; and whither she went,
+thither she came. But all this Tom, of course, never saw or heard: and
+perhaps if he had it would have made little difference in the story; for
+he was so hot and thirsty, and longed so to be clean for once, that he
+tumbled himself as quick as he could into the clear cool stream.
+
+And he had not been in it two minutes before he fell fast asleep, into
+the quietest, sunniest, cosiest sleep that ever he had in his life; and
+he dreamt about the green meadows by which he had walked that morning,
+and the tall elm-trees, and the sleeping cows; and after that he dreamt
+of nothing at all.
+
+The reason of his falling into such a delightful sleep is very simple;
+and yet hardly any one has found it out. It was merely that the fairies
+took him.
+
+Some people think that there are no fairies. Cousin Cramchild tells
+little folks so in his Conversations. Well, perhaps there are none--in
+Boston, U.S., where he was raised. There are only a clumsy lot of
+spirits there, who can't make people hear without thumping on the table:
+but they get their living thereby, and I suppose that is all they want.
+And Aunt Agitate, in her Arguments on political economy, says there are
+none. Well, perhaps there are none--in her political economy. But it is
+a wide world, my little man--and thank Heaven for it, for else, between
+crinolines and theories, some of us would get squashed--and plenty of
+room in it for fairies, without people seeing them; unless, of course,
+they look in the right place. The most wonderful and the strongest
+things in the world, you know, are just the things which no one can see.
+There is life in you; and it is the life in you which makes you grow,
+and move, and think: and yet you can't see it. And there is steam in a
+steam-engine; and that is what makes it move: and yet you can't see it;
+and so there may be fairies in the world, and they may be just what
+makes the world go round to the old tune of
+
+          "_C'est l'amour, l'amour, l'amour
+            Qui fait le monde à la ronde:_"
+
+and yet no one may be able to see them except those whose hearts are
+going round to that same tune. At all events, we will make believe that
+there are fairies in the world. It will not be the last time by many a
+one that we shall have to make believe. And yet, after all, there is no
+need for that. There must be fairies; for this is a fairy tale: and how
+can one have a fairy tale if there are no fairies?
+
+You don't see the logic of that? Perhaps not. Then please not to see the
+logic of a great many arguments exactly like it, which you will hear
+before your beard is grey.
+
+The kind old dame came back at twelve, when school was over, to look at
+Tom: but there was no Tom there. She looked about for his footprints;
+but the ground was so hard that there was no slot, as they say in dear
+old North Devon. And if you grow up to be a brave healthy man, you may
+know some day what no slot means, and know too, I hope, what a slot does
+mean--a broad slot, with blunt claws, which makes a man put out his
+cigar, and set his teeth, and tighten his girths, when he sees it; and
+what his rights mean, if he has them, brow, bay, tray, and points; and
+see something worth seeing between Haddon Wood and Countisbury Cliff,
+with good Mr. Palk Collyns to show you the way, and mend your bones as
+fast as you smash them. Only when that jolly day comes, please don't
+break your neck; stogged in a mire you never will be, I trust; for you
+are a heath-cropper bred and born.
+
+So the old dame went in again quite sulky, thinking that little Tom had
+tricked her with a false story, and shammed ill, and then run away
+again.
+
+But she altered her mind the next day. For, when Sir John and the rest
+of them had run themselves out of breath, and lost Tom, they went back
+again, looking very foolish.
+
+And they looked more foolish still when Sir John heard more of the story
+from the nurse; and more foolish still, again, when they heard the whole
+story from Miss Ellie, the little lady in white. All she had seen was a
+poor little black chimney-sweep, crying and sobbing, and going to get
+up the chimney again. Of course, she was very much frightened: and no
+wonder. But that was all. The boy had taken nothing in the room; by the
+mark of his little sooty feet, they could see that he had never been off
+the hearthrug till the nurse caught hold of him. It was all a mistake.
+
+So Sir John told Grimes to go home, and promised him five shillings if
+he would bring the boy quietly up to him, without beating him, that he
+might be sure of the truth. For he took for granted, and Grimes too,
+that Tom had made his way home.
+
+But no Tom came back to Mr. Grimes that evening; and he went to the
+police-office, to tell them to look out for the boy. But no Tom was
+heard of. As for his having gone over those great fells to Vendale, they
+no more dreamed of that than of his having gone to the moon.
+
+So Mr. Grimes came up to Harthover next day with a very sour face; but
+when he got there, Sir John was over the hills and far away; and Mr.
+Grimes had to sit in the outer servants' hall all day, and drink strong
+ale to wash away his sorrows; and they were washed away long before Sir
+John came back.
+
+For good Sir John had slept very badly that night; and he said to his
+lady, "My dear, the boy must have got over into the grouse-moors, and
+lost himself; and he lies very heavily on my conscience, poor little
+lad. But I know what I will do."
+
+So, at five the next morning up he got, and into his bath, and into his
+shooting-jacket and gaiters, and into the stableyard, like a fine old
+English gentleman, with a face as red as a rose, and a hand as hard as a
+table, and a back as broad as a bullock's; and bade them bring his
+shooting pony, and the keeper to come on his pony, and the huntsman, and
+the first whip, and the second whip, and the under-keeper with the
+bloodhound in a leash--a great dog as tall as a calf, of the colour of a
+gravel-walk, with mahogany ears and nose, and a throat like a
+church-bell. They took him up to the place where Tom had gone into the
+wood; and there the hound lifted up his mighty voice, and told them all
+he knew.
+
+Then he took them to the place where Tom had climbed the wall; and they
+shoved it down, and all got through.
+
+And then the wise dog took them over the moor, and over the fells, step
+by step, very slowly; for the scent was a day old, you know, and very
+light from the heat and drought. But that was why cunning old Sir John
+started at five in the morning.
+
+And at last he came to the top of Lewthwaite Crag, and there he bayed,
+and looked up in their faces, as much as to say, "I tell you he is gone
+down here!"
+
+They could hardly believe that Tom would have gone so far; and when they
+looked at that awful cliff, they could never believe that he would have
+dared to face it. But if the dog said so, it must be true.
+
+"Heaven forgive us!" said Sir John. "If we find him at all, we shall
+find him lying at the bottom." And he slapped his great hand upon his
+great thigh, and said--
+
+"Who will go down over Lewthwaite Crag, and see if that boy is alive? Oh
+that I were twenty years younger, and I would go down myself!" And so he
+would have done, as well as any sweep in the county. Then he said--
+
+"Twenty pounds to the man who brings me that boy alive!" and as was his
+way, what he said he meant.
+
+Now among the lot was a little groom-boy, a very little groom indeed;
+and he was the same who had ridden up the court, and told Tom to come to
+the Hall; and he said--
+
+"Twenty pounds or none, I will go down over Lewthwaite Crag, if it's
+only for the poor boy's sake. For he was as civil a spoken little chap
+as ever climbed a flue."
+
+So down over Lewthwaite Crag he went: a very smart groom he was at the
+top, and a very shabby one at the bottom; for he tore his gaiters, and
+he tore his breeches, and he tore his jacket, and he burst his braces,
+and he burst his boots, and he lost his hat, and what was worst of all,
+he lost his shirt pin, which he prized very much, for it was gold, and
+he had won it in a raffle at Malton, and there was a figure at the top
+of it, of t'ould mare, noble old Beeswing herself, as natural as life;
+so it was a really severe loss: but he never saw anything of Tom.
+
+And all the while Sir John and the rest were riding round, full three
+miles to the right, and back again, to get into Vendale, and to the foot
+of the crag.
+
+When they came to the old dame's school, all the children came out to
+see. And the old dame came out too; and when she saw Sir John, she
+curtsied very low, for she was a tenant of his.
+
+"Well, dame, and how are you?" said Sir John.
+
+"Blessings on you as broad as your back, Harthover," says she--she
+didn't call him Sir John, but only Harthover, for that is the fashion in
+the North country--"and welcome into Vendale: but you're no hunting the
+fox this time of the year?"
+
+"I am hunting, and strange game too," said he.
+
+"Blessings on your heart, and what makes you look so sad the morn?"
+
+"I'm looking for a lost child, a chimney-sweep, that is run away."
+
+"Oh, Harthover, Harthover," says she, "ye were always a just man and a
+merciful; and ye'll no harm the poor little lad if I give you tidings of
+him?"
+
+"Not I, not I, dame. I'm afraid we hunted him out of the house all on a
+miserable mistake, and the hound has brought him to the top of
+Lewthwaite Crag, and----"
+
+Whereat the old dame broke out crying, without letting him finish his
+story.
+
+"So he told me the truth after all, poor little dear! Ah, first
+thoughts are best, and a body's heart'll guide them right, if they will
+but hearken to it." And then she told Sir John all.
+
+"Bring the dog here, and lay him on," said Sir John, without another
+word, and he set his teeth very hard.
+
+And the dog opened at once; and went away at the back of the cottage,
+over the road, and over the meadow, and through a bit of alder copse;
+and there, upon an alder stump, they saw Tom's clothes lying. And then
+they knew as much about it all as there was any need to know.
+
+And Tom?
+
+Ah, now comes the most wonderful part of this wonderful story. Tom, when
+he woke, for of course he woke--children always wake after they have
+slept exactly as long as is good for them--found himself swimming about
+in the stream, being about four inches, or--that I may be
+accurate--3.87902 inches long, and having round the parotid region of
+his fauces a set of external gills (I hope you understand all the big
+words) just like those of a sucking eft, which he mistook for a lace
+frill, till he pulled at them, found he hurt himself, and made up his
+mind that they were part of himself, and best left alone.
+
+In fact, the fairies had turned him into a water-baby.
+
+A water-baby? You never heard of a water-baby. Perhaps not. That is the
+very reason why this story was written. There are a great many things in
+the world which you never heard of; and a great many more which nobody
+ever heard of; and a great many things, too, which nobody will ever hear
+of, at least until the coming of the Cocqcigrues, when man shall be the
+measure of all things.
+
+"But there are no such things as water-babies."
+
+How do you know that? Have you been there to see? And if you had been
+there to see, and had seen none, that would not prove that there were
+none. If Mr. Garth does not find a fox in Eversley Wood--as folks
+sometimes fear he never will--that does not prove that there are no such
+things as foxes. And as is Eversley Wood to all the woods in England, so
+are the waters we know to all the waters in the world. And no one has a
+right to say that no water-babies exist, till they have seen no
+water-babies existing; which is quite a different thing, mind, from not
+seeing water-babies; and a thing which nobody ever did, or perhaps ever
+will do.
+
+"But surely if there were water-babies, somebody would have caught one
+at least?"
+
+Well. How do you know that somebody has not?
+
+"But they would have put it into spirits, or into the _Illustrated
+News_, or perhaps cut it into two halves, poor dear little thing, and
+sent one to Professor Owen, and one to Professor Huxley, to see what
+they would each say about it."
+
+Ah, my dear little man! that does not follow at all, as you will see
+before the end of the story.
+
+"But a water-baby is contrary to nature."
+
+Well, but, my dear little man, you must learn to talk about such things,
+when you grow older, in a very different way from that. You must not
+talk about "ain't" and "can't" when you speak of this great wonderful
+world round you, of which the wisest man knows only the very smallest
+corner, and is, as the great Sir Isaac Newton said, only a child picking
+up pebbles on the shore of a boundless ocean.
+
+You must not say that this cannot be, or that that is contrary to
+nature. You do not know what Nature is, or what she can do; and nobody
+knows; not even Sir Roderick Murchison, or Professor Owen, or Professor
+Sedgwick, or Professor Huxley, or Mr. Darwin, or Professor Faraday, or
+Mr. Grove, or any other of the great men whom good boys are taught to
+respect. They are very wise men; and you must listen respectfully to all
+they say: but even if they should say, which I am sure they never would,
+"That cannot exist. That is contrary to nature," you must wait a little,
+and see; for perhaps even they may be wrong. It is only children who
+read Aunt Agitate's Arguments, or Cousin Cramchild's Conversations; or
+lads who go to popular lectures, and see a man pointing at a few big
+ugly pictures on the wall, or making nasty smells with bottles and
+squirts, for an hour or two, and calling that anatomy or chemistry--who
+talk about "cannot exist," and "contrary to nature." Wise men are afraid
+to say that there is anything contrary to nature, except what is
+contrary to mathematical truth; for two and two cannot make five, and
+two straight lines cannot join twice, and a part cannot be as great as
+the whole, and so on (at least, so it seems at present): but the wiser
+men are, the less they talk about "cannot." That is a very rash,
+dangerous word, that "cannot"; and if people use it too often, the Queen
+of all the Fairies, who makes the clouds thunder and the fleas bite, and
+takes just as much trouble about one as about the other, is apt to
+astonish them suddenly by showing them, that though they say she cannot,
+yet she can, and what is more, will, whether they approve or not.
+
+And therefore it is, that there are dozens and hundreds of things in the
+world which we should certainly have said were contrary to nature, if we
+did not see them going on under our eyes all day long. If people had
+never seen little seeds grow into great plants and trees, of quite
+different shape from themselves, and these trees again produce fresh
+seeds, to grow into fresh trees, they would have said, "The thing cannot
+be; it is contrary to nature." And they would have been quite as right
+in saying so, as in saying that most other things cannot be.
+
+Or suppose again, that you had come, like M. Du Chaillu, a traveller
+from unknown parts; and that no human being had ever seen or heard of an
+elephant. And suppose that you described him to people, and said, "This
+is the shape, and plan, and anatomy of the beast, and of his feet, and
+of his trunk, and of his grinders, and of his tusks, though they are
+not tusks at all, but two fore teeth run mad; and this is the section of
+his skull, more like a mushroom than a reasonable skull of a reasonable
+or unreasonable beast; and so forth, and so forth; and though the beast
+(which I assure you I have seen and shot) is first cousin to the little
+hairy coney of Scripture, second cousin to a pig, and (I suspect)
+thirteenth or fourteenth cousin to a rabbit, yet he is the wisest of all
+beasts, and can do everything save read, write, and cast accounts."
+People would surely have said, "Nonsense; your elephant is contrary to
+nature"; and have thought you were telling stories--as the French
+thought of Le Vaillant when he came back to Paris and said that he had
+shot a giraffe; and as the king of the Cannibal Islands thought of the
+English sailor, when he said that in his country water turned to marble,
+and rain fell as feathers. They would tell you, the more they knew of
+science, "Your elephant is an impossible monster, contrary to the laws
+of comparative anatomy, as far as yet known." To which you would answer
+the less, the more you thought.
+
+Did not learned men, too, hold, till within the last twenty-five years,
+that a flying dragon was an impossible monster? And do we not now know
+that there are hundreds of them found fossil up and down the world?
+People call them Pterodactyles: but that is only because they are
+ashamed to call them flying dragons, after denying so long that flying
+dragons could exist.
+
+The truth is, that folks' fancy that such and such things cannot be,
+simply because they have not seen them, is worth no more than a savage's
+fancy that there cannot be such a thing as a locomotive, because he
+never saw one running wild in the forest. Wise men know that their
+business is to examine what is, and not to settle what is not. They know
+that there are elephants; they know that there have been flying dragons;
+and the wiser they are, the less inclined they will be to say positively
+that there are no water-babies.
+
+No water-babies, indeed? Why, wise men of old said that everything on
+earth had its double in the water; and you may see that that is, if not
+quite true, still quite as true as most other theories which you are
+likely to hear for many a day. There are land-babies--then why not
+water-babies? _Are there not water-rats, water-flies, water-crickets,
+water-crabs, water-tortoises, water-scorpions, water-tigers and
+water-hogs, water-cats and water-dogs, sea-lions and sea-bears,
+sea-horses and sea-elephants, sea-mice and sea-urchins, sea-razors and
+sea-pens, sea-combs and sea-fans; and of plants, are there not
+water-grass, and water-crowfoot, water-milfoil, and so on, without end?_
+
+"But all these things are only nicknames; the water things are not
+really akin to the land things."
+
+That's not always true. They are, in millions of cases, not only of the
+same family, but actually the same individual creatures. Do not even you
+know that a green drake, and an alder-fly, and a dragon-fly, live under
+water till they change their skins, just as Tom changed his? And if a
+water animal can continually change into a land animal, why should not
+a land animal sometimes change into a water animal? Don't be put down by
+any of Cousin Cramchild's arguments, but stand up to him like a man, and
+answer him (quite respectfully, of course) thus:--
+
+If Cousin Cramchild says, that if there are water-babies, they must grow
+into water-men, ask him how he knows that they do not? and then, how he
+knows that they must, any more than the Proteus of the Adelsberg caverns
+grows into a perfect newt.
+
+If he says that it is too strange a transformation for a land-baby to
+turn into a water-baby, ask him if he ever heard of the transformation
+of Syllis, or the Distomas, or the common jelly-fish, of which M.
+Quatrefages says excellently well--"Who would not exclaim that a miracle
+had come to pass, if he saw a reptile come out of the egg dropped by the
+hen in his poultry-yard, and the reptile give birth at once to an
+indefinite number of fishes and birds? Yet the history of the jelly-fish
+is quite as wonderful as that would be." Ask him if he knows about all
+this; and if he does not, tell him to go and look for himself; and
+advise him (very respectfully, of course) to settle no more what strange
+things cannot happen, till he has seen what strange things do happen
+every day.
+
+If he says that things cannot degrade, that is, change downwards into
+lower forms, ask him, who told him that water-babies were lower than
+land-babies? But even if they were, does he know about the strange
+degradation of the common goose-barnacles, which one finds sticking on
+ships' bottoms; or the still stranger degradation of some cousins of
+theirs, of which one hardly likes to talk, so shocking and ugly it is?
+
+And, lastly, if he says (as he most certainly will) that these
+transformations only take place in the lower animals, and not in the
+higher, say that that seems to little boys, and to some grown people, a
+very strange fancy. For if the changes of the lower animals are so
+wonderful, and so difficult to discover, why should not there be changes
+in the higher animals far more wonderful, and far more difficult to
+discover? And may not man, the crown and flower of all things, undergo
+some change as much more wonderful than all the rest, as the Great
+Exhibition is more wonderful than a rabbit-burrow? Let him answer that.
+And if he says (as he will) that not having seen such a change in his
+experience, he is not bound to believe it, ask him respectfully, where
+his microscope has been? Does not each of us, in coming into this world,
+go through a transformation just as wonderful as that of a sea-egg, or a
+butterfly? and do not reason and analogy, as well as Scripture, tell us
+that that transformation is not the last? and that, though what we shall
+be, we know not, yet we are here but as the crawling caterpillar, and
+shall be hereafter as the perfect fly. The old Greeks, heathens as they
+were, saw as much as that two thousand years ago; and I care very little
+for Cousin Cramchild, if he sees even less than they. And so forth, and
+so forth, till he is quite cross. And then tell him that if there are
+no water-babies, at least there ought to be; and that, at least, he
+cannot answer.
+
+And meanwhile, my dear little man, till you know a great deal more about
+nature than Professor Owen and Professor Huxley put together, don't tell
+me about what cannot be, or fancy that anything is too wonderful to be
+true. "We are fearfully and wonderfully made," said old David; and so we
+are; and so is everything around us, down to the very deal table. Yes;
+much more fearfully and wonderfully made, already, is the table, as it
+stands now, nothing but a piece of dead deal wood, than if, as foxes
+say, and geese believe, spirits could make it dance, or talk to you by
+rapping on it.
+
+Am I in earnest? Oh dear no! Don't you know that this is a fairy tale,
+and all fun and pretence; and that you are not to believe one word of
+it, even if it is true?
+
+But at all events, so it happened to Tom. And, therefore, the keeper,
+and the groom, and Sir John made a great mistake, and were very unhappy
+(Sir John at least) without any reason, when they found a black thing in
+the water, and said it was Tom's body, and that he had been drowned.
+They were utterly mistaken. Tom was quite alive; and cleaner, and
+merrier, than he ever had been. The fairies had washed him, you see, in
+the swift river, so thoroughly, that not only his dirt, but his whole
+husk and shell had been washed quite off him, and the pretty little real
+Tom was washed out of the inside of it, and swam away, as a caddis does
+when its case of stones and silk is bored through, and away it goes on
+its back, paddling to the shore, there to split its skin, and fly away
+as a caperer, on four fawn-coloured wings, with long legs and horns.
+They are foolish fellows, the caperers, and fly into the candle at
+night, if you leave the door open. We will hope Tom will be wiser, now
+he has got safe out of his sooty old shell.
+
+But good Sir John did not understand all this, not being a fellow of the
+Linnæan Society; and he took it into his head that Tom was drowned. When
+they looked into the empty pockets of his shell, and found no jewels
+there, nor money--nothing but three marbles, and a brass button with a
+string to it--then Sir John did something as like crying as ever he did
+in his life, and blamed himself more bitterly than he need have done. So
+he cried, and the groom-boy cried, and the huntsman cried, and the dame
+cried, and the little girl cried, and the dairymaid cried, and the old
+nurse cried (for it was somewhat her fault), and my lady cried, for
+though people have wigs, that is no reason why they should not have
+hearts; but the keeper did not cry, though he had been so good-natured
+to Tom the morning before; for he was so dried up with running after
+poachers, that you could no more get tears out of him than milk out of
+leather: and Grimes did not cry, for Sir John gave him ten pounds, and
+he drank it all in a week. Sir John sent, far and wide, to find Tom's
+father and mother: but he might have looked till Doomsday for them, for
+one was dead, and the other was in Botany Bay. And the little girl would
+not play with her dolls for a whole week, and never forgot poor little
+Tom. And soon my lady put a pretty little tombstone over Tom's shell in
+the little churchyard in Vendale, where the old dalesmen all sleep side
+by side between the limestone crags. And the dame decked it with
+garlands every Sunday, till she grew so old that she could not stir
+abroad; then the little children decked it for her. And always she sang
+an old old song, as she sat spinning what she called her wedding-dress.
+The children could not understand it, but they liked it none the less
+for that; for it was very sweet, and very sad; and that was enough for
+them. And these are the words of it:--
+
+          _When all the world is young, lad,
+            And all the trees are green;
+          And every goose a swan, lad,
+            And every lass a queen;
+          Then hey for boot and horse, lad,
+            And round the world away;
+          Young blood must have its course, lad,
+            And every dog his day._
+
+          _When all the world is old, lad,
+            And all the trees are brown;
+          And all the sport is stale, lad,
+            And all the wheels run down;
+          Creep home, and take your place there,
+            The spent and maimed among:
+          God grant you find one face there,
+            You loved when all was young._
+
+Those are the words: but they are only the body of it: the soul of the
+song was the dear old woman's sweet face, and sweet voice, and the sweet
+old air to which she sang; and that, alas! one cannot put on paper. And
+at last she grew so stiff and lame, that the angels were forced to carry
+her; and they helped her on with her wedding-dress, and carried her up
+over Harthover Fells, and a long way beyond that too; and there was a
+new schoolmistress in Vendale, and we will hope that she was not
+certificated.
+
+And all the while Tom was swimming about in the river, with a pretty
+little lace-collar of gills about his neck, as lively as a grig, and as
+clean as a fresh-run salmon.
+
+Now if you don't like my story, then go to the schoolroom and learn your
+multiplication-table, and see if you like that better. Some people, no
+doubt, would do so. So much the better for us, if not for them. It takes
+all sorts, they say, to make a world.
+
+          "He prayeth well who loveth well
+           Both men and bird and beast;
+           He prayeth best who loveth best
+           All things both great and small:
+           For the dear God who loveth us,
+           He made and loveth all."
+
+                                  COLERIDGE.
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER III
+
+
+TOM was now quite amphibious. You do not know what that means?
+
+You had better, then, ask the nearest Government pupil-teacher, who may
+possibly answer you smartly enough, thus--
+
+"Amphibious. Adjective, derived from two Greek words, _amphi_, a fish,
+and _bios_, a beast. An animal supposed by our ignorant ancestors to be
+compounded of a fish and a beast; which therefore, like the
+hippopotamus, can't live on the land, and dies in the water."
+
+However that may be, Tom was amphibious: and what is better still, he
+was clean. For the first time in his life, he felt how comfortable it
+was to have nothing on him but himself. But he only enjoyed it: he did
+not know it, or think about it; just as you enjoy life and health, and
+yet never think about being alive and healthy; and may it be long before
+you have to think about it!
+
+He did not remember having ever been dirty. Indeed, he did not remember
+any of his old troubles, being tired, or hungry, or beaten, or sent up
+dark chimneys. Since that sweet sleep, he had forgotten all about his
+master, and Harthover Place, and the little white girl, and in a word,
+all that had happened to him when he lived before; and what was best of
+all, he had forgotten all the bad words which he had learned from
+Grimes, and the rude boys with whom he used to play.
+
+That is not strange: for you know, when you came into this world, and
+became a land-baby, you remembered nothing. So why should he, when he
+became a water-baby?
+
+Then have you lived before?
+
+My dear child, who can tell? One can only tell that, by remembering
+something which happened where we lived before; and as we remember
+nothing, we know nothing about it; and no book, and no man, can ever
+tell us certainly.
+
+There was a wise man once, a very wise man, and a very good man, who
+wrote a poem about the feelings which some children have about having
+lived before; and this is what he said--
+
+          "_Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting;
+            The soul that rises with us, our life's star,
+                Hath elsewhere had its setting,
+                  And cometh from afar:
+              Not in entire forgetfulness,
+              And not in utter nakedness,
+            But trailing clouds of glory, do we come
+                From God, who is our home._"
+
+There, you can know no more than that. But if I was you, I would believe
+that. For then the great fairy Science, who is likely to be queen of
+all the fairies for many a year to come, can only do you good, and never
+do you harm; and instead of fancying, with some people, that your body
+makes your soul, as if a steam-engine could make its own coke; or, with
+some people, that your soul has nothing to do with your body, but is
+only stuck into it like a pin into a pin-cushion, to fall out with the
+first shake;--you will believe the one true,
+
+          _orthodox_,        _inductive_,
+          _rational_,        _deductive_,
+          _philosophical_,   _seductive_,
+          _logical_,         _productive_,
+          _irrefragable_,    _salutary_,
+          _nominalistic_,    _comfortable_,
+          _realistic_,
+          _and on-all-accounts-to-be-received_
+
+doctrine of this wonderful fairy tale; which is, that your soul makes
+your body, just as a snail makes his shell. For the rest, it is enough
+for us to be sure that whether or not we lived before, we shall live
+again; though not, I hope, as poor little heathen Tom did. For he went
+downward into the water: but we, I hope, shall go upward to a very
+different place.
+
+But Tom was very happy in the water. He had been sadly overworked in the
+land-world; and so now, to make up for that, he had nothing but holidays
+in the water-world for a long, long time to come. He had nothing to do
+now but enjoy himself, and look at all the pretty things which are to
+be seen in the cool clear water-world, where the sun is never too hot,
+and the frost is never too cold.
+
+And what did he live on? Water-cresses, perhaps; or perhaps water-gruel,
+and water-milk; too many land-babies do so likewise. But we do not know
+what one-tenth of the water-things eat; so we are not answerable for the
+water-babies.
+
+Sometimes he went along the smooth gravel water-ways, looking at the
+crickets which ran in and out among the stones, as rabbits do on land;
+or he climbed over the ledges of rock, and saw the sand-pipes hanging in
+thousands, with every one of them a pretty little head and legs peeping
+out; or he went into a still corner, and watched the caddises eating
+dead sticks as greedily as you would eat plum-pudding, and building
+their houses with silk and glue. Very fanciful ladies they were; none of
+them would keep to the same materials for a day. One would begin with
+some pebbles; then she would stick on a piece of green wood; then she
+found a shell, and stuck it on too; and the poor shell was alive, and
+did not like at all being taken to build houses with: but the caddis did
+not let him have any voice in the matter, being rude and selfish, as
+vain people are apt to be; then she stuck on a piece of rotten wood,
+then a very smart pink stone, and so on, till she was patched all over
+like an Irishman's coat. Then she found a long straw, five times as long
+as herself, and said, "Hurrah! my sister has a tail, and I'll have one
+too"; and she stuck it on her back, and marched about with it quite
+proud, though it was very inconvenient indeed. And, at that, tails
+became all the fashion among the caddis-baits in that pool, as they were
+at the end of the Long Pond last May, and they all toddled about with
+long straws sticking out behind, getting between each other's legs, and
+tumbling over each other, and looking so ridiculous, that Tom laughed at
+them till he cried, as we did. But they were quite right, you know; for
+people must always follow the fashion, even if it be spoon-bonnets.
+
+Then sometimes he came to a deep still reach; and there he saw the
+water-forests. They would have looked to you only little weeds: but Tom,
+you must remember, was so little that everything looked a hundred times
+as big to him as it does to you, just as things do to a minnow, who sees
+and catches the little water-creatures which you can only see in a
+microscope.
+
+And in the water-forest he saw the water-monkeys and water-squirrels
+(they had all six legs, though; everything almost has six legs in the
+water, except efts and water-babies); and nimbly enough they ran among
+the branches. There were water-flowers there too, in thousands; and Tom
+tried to pick them: but as soon as he touched them, they drew themselves
+in and turned into knots of jelly; and then Tom saw that they were all
+alive--bells, and stars, and wheels, and flowers, of all beautiful
+shapes and colours; and all alive and busy, just as Tom was. So now he
+found that there was a great deal more in the world than he had fancied
+at first sight.
+
+There was one wonderful little fellow, too, who peeped out of the top of
+a house built of round bricks. He had two big wheels, and one little
+one, all over teeth, spinning round and round like the wheels in a
+thrashing-machine; and Tom stood and stared at him, to see what he was
+going to make with his machinery. And what do you think he was doing?
+Brick-making. With his two big wheels he swept together all the mud
+which floated in the water: all that was nice in it he put into his
+stomach and ate; and all the mud he put into the little wheel on his
+breast, which really was a round hole set with teeth; and there he spun
+it into a neat hard round brick; and then he took it and stuck it on the
+top of his house-wall, and set to work to make another. Now was not he a
+clever little fellow?
+
+Tom thought so: but when he wanted to talk to him the brick-maker was
+much too busy and proud of his work to take notice of him.
+
+Now you must know that all the things under the water talk; only not
+such a language as ours; but such as horses, and dogs, and cows, and
+birds talk to each other; and Tom soon learned to understand them and
+talk to them; so that he might have had very pleasant company if he had
+only been a good boy. But I am sorry to say, he was too like some other
+little boys, very fond of hunting and tormenting creatures for mere
+sport. Some people say that boys cannot help it; that it is nature, and
+only a proof that we are all originally descended from beasts of prey.
+But whether it is nature or not, little boys can help it, and must help
+it. For if they have naughty, low, mischievous tricks in their nature,
+as monkeys have, that is no reason why they should give way to those
+tricks like monkeys, who know no better. And therefore they must not
+torment dumb creatures; for if they do, a certain old lady who is coming
+will surely give them exactly what they deserve.
+
+But Tom did not know that; and he pecked and howked the poor
+water-things about sadly, till they were all afraid of him, and got out
+of his way, or crept into their shells; so he had no one to speak to or
+play with.
+
+The water-fairies, of course, were very sorry to see him so unhappy, and
+longed to take him, and tell him how naughty he was, and teach him to be
+good, and to play and romp with him too: but they had been forbidden to
+do that. Tom had to learn his lesson for himself by sound and sharp
+experience, as many another foolish person has to do, though there may
+be many a kind heart yearning over them all the while, and longing to
+teach them what they can only teach themselves.
+
+At last one day he found a caddis, and wanted it to peep out of its
+house: but its house-door was shut. He had never seen a caddis with a
+house-door before: so what must he do, the meddlesome little fellow, but
+pull it open, to see what the poor lady was doing inside. What a shame!
+How should you like to have any one breaking your bedroom-door in, to
+see how you looked when you were in bed? So Tom broke to pieces the
+door, which was the prettiest little grating of silk, stuck all over
+with shining bits of crystal; and when he looked in, the caddis poked
+out her head, and it had turned into just the shape of a bird's. But
+when Tom spoke to her she could not answer; for her mouth and face were
+tight tied up in a new night-cap of neat pink skin. However, if she
+didn't answer, all the other caddises did; for they held up their hands
+and shrieked like the cats in Struwwelpeter: "_Oh, you nasty horrid boy;
+there you are at it again! And she had just laid herself up for a
+fortnight's sleep, and then she would have come out with such beautiful
+wings, and flown about, and laid such lots of eggs: and now you have
+broken her door, and she can't mend it because her mouth is tied up for
+a fortnight, and she will die. Who sent you here to worry us out of our
+lives?_"
+
+So Tom swam away. He was very much ashamed of himself, and felt all the
+naughtier; as little boys do when they have done wrong and won't say so.
+
+Then he came to a pool full of little trout, and began tormenting them,
+and trying to catch them: but they slipped through his fingers, and
+jumped clean out of water in their fright. But as Tom chased them, he
+came close to a great dark hover under an alder root, and out floushed a
+huge old brown trout ten times as big as he was, and ran right against
+him, and knocked all the breath out of his body; and I don't know which
+was the more frightened of the two.
+
+Then he went on sulky and lonely, as he deserved to be; and under a
+bank he saw a very ugly dirty creature sitting, about half as big as
+himself; which had six legs, and a big stomach, and a most ridiculous
+head with two great eyes and a face just like a donkey's.
+
+"Oh," said Tom, "you are an ugly fellow to be sure!" and he began making
+faces at him; and put his nose close to him, and halloed at him, like a
+very rude boy.
+
+When, hey presto; all the thing's donkey-face came off in a moment, and
+out popped a long arm with a pair of pincers at the end of it, and
+caught Tom by the nose. It did not hurt him much; but it held him quite
+tight.
+
+"Yah, ah! Oh, let me go!" cried Tom.
+
+"Then let me go," said the creature. "I want to be quiet. I want to
+split."
+
+Tom promised to let him alone, and he let go. "Why do you want to
+split?" said Tom.
+
+"Because my brothers and sisters have all split, and turned into
+beautiful creatures with wings; and I want to split too. Don't speak to
+me. I am sure I shall split. I will split!"
+
+Tom stood still, and watched him. And he swelled himself, and puffed,
+and stretched himself out stiff, and at last--crack, puff, bang--he
+opened all down his back, and then up to the top of his head.
+
+And out of his inside came the most slender, elegant, soft creature, as
+soft and smooth as Tom: but very pale and weak, like a little child who
+has been ill a long time in a dark room. It moved its legs very feebly;
+and looked about it half ashamed, like a girl when she goes for the
+first time into a ballroom; and then it began walking slowly up a grass
+stem to the top of the water.
+
+Tom was so astonished that he never said a word: but he stared with all
+his eyes. And he went up to the top of the water too, and peeped out to
+see what would happen.
+
+And as the creature sat in the warm bright sun, a wonderful change came
+over it. It grew strong and firm; the most lovely colours began to show
+on its body, blue and yellow and black, spots and bars and rings; out of
+its back rose four great wings of bright brown gauze; and its eyes grew
+so large that they filled all its head, and shone like ten thousand
+diamonds.
+
+"Oh, you beautiful creature!" said Tom; and he put out his hand to catch
+it.
+
+But the thing whirred up into the air, and hung poised on its wings a
+moment, and then settled down again by Tom quite fearless.
+
+"No!" it said, "you cannot catch me. I am a dragon-fly now, the king of
+all the flies; and I shall dance in the sunshine, and hawk over the
+river, and catch gnats, and have a beautiful wife like myself. I know
+what I shall do. Hurrah!" And he flew away into the air, and began
+catching gnats.
+
+"Oh! come back, come back," cried Tom, "you beautiful creature. I have
+no one to play with, and I am so lonely here. If you will but come back
+I will never try to catch you."
+
+"I don't care whether you do or not," said the dragon-fly; "for you
+can't. But when I have had my dinner, and looked a little about this
+pretty place, I will come back, and have a little chat about all I have
+seen in my travels. Why, what a huge tree this is! and what huge leaves
+on it!"
+
+It was only a big dock: but you know the dragon-fly had never seen any
+but little water-trees; starwort, and milfoil, and water-crowfoot, and
+such like; so it did look very big to him. Besides, he was very
+short-sighted, as all dragon-flies are; and never could see a yard
+before his nose; any more than a great many other folks, who are not
+half as handsome as he.
+
+The dragon-fly did come back, and chatted away with Tom. He was a little
+conceited about his fine colours and his large wings; but you know, he
+had been a poor dirty ugly creature all his life before; so there were
+great excuses for him. He was very fond of talking about all the
+wonderful things he saw in the trees and the meadows; and Tom liked to
+listen to him, for he had forgotten all about them. So in a little while
+they became great friends.
+
+And I am very glad to say, that Tom learned such a lesson that day, that
+he did not torment creatures for a long time after. And then the
+caddises grew quite tame, and used to tell him strange stories about the
+way they built their houses, and changed their skins, and turned at last
+into winged flies; till Tom began to long to change his skin, and have
+wings like them some day.
+
+And the trout and he made it up (for trout very soon forget if they have
+been frightened and hurt). So Tom used to play with them at hare and
+hounds, and great fun they had; and he used to try to leap out of the
+water, head over heels, as they did before a shower came on; but somehow
+he never could manage it. He liked most, though, to see them rising at
+the flies, as they sailed round and round under the shadow of the great
+oak, where the beetles fell flop into the water, and the green
+caterpillars let themselves down from the boughs by silk ropes for no
+reason at all; and then changed their foolish minds for no reason at all
+either; and hauled themselves up again into the tree, rolling up the
+rope in a ball between their paws; which is a very clever rope-dancer's
+trick, and neither Blondin nor Leotard could do it: but why they should
+take so much trouble about it no one can tell; for they cannot get their
+living, as Blondin and Leotard do, by trying to break their necks on a
+string.
+
+And very often Tom caught them just as they touched the water; and
+caught the alder-flies, and the caperers, and the cock-tailed duns and
+spinners, yellow, and brown, and claret, and grey, and gave them to his
+friends the trout. Perhaps he was not quite kind to the flies; but one
+must do a good turn to one's friends when one can.
+
+And at last he gave up catching even the flies; for he made acquaintance
+with one by accident and found him a very merry little fellow. And this
+was the way it happened; and it is all quite true.
+
+He was basking at the top of the water one hot day in July, catching
+duns and feeding the trout, when he saw a new sort, a dark grey little
+fellow with a brown head. He was a very little fellow indeed: but he
+made the most of himself, as people ought to do. He cocked up his head,
+and he cocked up his wings, and he cocked up his tail, and he cocked up
+the two whisks at his tail-end, and, in short, he looked the cockiest
+little man of all little men. And so he proved to be; for instead of
+getting away, he hopped upon Tom's finger, and sat there as bold as nine
+tailors; and he cried out in the tiniest, shrillest, squeakiest little
+voice you ever heard,
+
+"Much obliged to you, indeed; but I don't want it yet."
+
+"Want what?" said Tom, quite taken aback by his impudence.
+
+"Your leg, which you are kind enough to hold out for me to sit on. I
+must just go and see after my wife for a few minutes. Dear me! what a
+troublesome business a family is!" (though the idle little rogue did
+nothing at all, but left his poor wife to lay all the eggs by herself).
+"When I come back, I shall be glad of it, if you'll be so good as to
+keep it sticking out just so"; and off he flew.
+
+Tom thought him a very cool sort of personage; and still more so, when,
+in five minutes he came back, and said--"Ah, you were tired waiting?
+Well, your other leg will do as well."
+
+And he popped himself down on Tom's knee, and began chatting away in his
+squeaking voice.
+
+"So you live under the water? It's a low place. I lived there for some
+time; and was very shabby and dirty. But I didn't choose that that
+should last. So I turned respectable, and came up to the top, and put on
+this grey suit. It's a very business-like suit, you think, don't you?"
+
+"Very neat and quiet indeed," said Tom.
+
+"Yes, one must be quiet and neat and respectable, and all that sort of
+thing for a little, when one becomes a family man. But I'm tired of it,
+that's the truth. I've done quite enough business, I consider, in the
+last week, to last me my life. So I shall put on a ball-dress, and go
+out and be a smart man, and see the gay world, and have a dance or two.
+Why shouldn't one be jolly if one can?"
+
+"And what will become of your wife?"
+
+"Oh! she is a very plain stupid creature, and that's the truth; and
+thinks about nothing but eggs. If she chooses to come, why she may; and
+if not, why I go without her;--and here I go."
+
+And, as he spoke, he turned quite pale, and then quite white.
+
+"Why, you're ill!" said Tom. But he did not answer.
+
+"You're dead," said Tom, looking at him as he stood on his knee as white
+as a ghost.
+
+"No, I ain't!" answered a little squeaking voice over his head. "This is
+me up here, in my ball-dress; and that's my skin. Ha, ha! you could not
+do such a trick as that!"
+
+And no more Tom could, nor Houdin, nor Robin, nor Frikell, nor all the
+conjurers in the world. For the little rogue had jumped clean out of his
+own skin, and left it standing on Tom's knee, eyes, wings, legs, tail,
+exactly as if it had been alive.
+
+"Ha, ha!" he said, and he jerked and skipped up and down, never stopping
+an instant, just as if he had St. Vitus's dance. "Ain't I a pretty
+fellow now?"
+
+And so he was; for his body was white, and his tail orange, and his eyes
+all the colours of a peacock's tail. And what was the oddest of all, the
+whisks at the end of his tail had grown five times as long as they were
+before.
+
+"Ah!" said he, "now I will see the gay world. My living won't cost me
+much, for I have no mouth, you see, and no inside; so I can never be
+hungry nor have the stomach-ache neither."
+
+No more he had. He had grown as dry and hard and empty as a quill, as
+such silly shallow-hearted fellows deserve to grow.
+
+But, instead of being ashamed of his emptiness, he was quite proud of
+it, as a good many fine gentlemen are, and began flirting and flipping
+up and down, and singing--
+
+          "_My wife shall dance, and I shall sing,
+              So merrily pass the day;
+            For I hold it for quite the wisest thing,
+              To drive dull care away._"
+
+And he danced up and down for three days and three nights, till he grew
+so tired, that he tumbled into the water, and floated down. But what
+became of him Tom never knew, and he himself never minded; for Tom heard
+him singing to the last, as he floated down--
+
+          "_To drive dull care away-ay-ay!_"
+
+And if he did not care, why nobody else cared either.
+
+But one day Tom had a new adventure. He was sitting on a water-lily
+leaf, he and his friend the dragon-fly, watching the gnats dance. The
+dragon-fly had eaten as many as he wanted, and was sitting quite still
+and sleepy, for it was very hot and bright. The gnats (who did not care
+the least for their poor brothers' death) danced a foot over his head
+quite happily, and a large black fly settled within an inch of his nose,
+and began washing his own face and combing his hair with his paws: but
+the dragon-fly never stirred, and kept on chatting to Tom about the
+times when he lived under the water.
+
+Suddenly, Tom heard the strangest noise up the stream; cooing, and
+grunting, and whining, and squeaking, as if you had put into a bag two
+stock-doves, nine mice, three guinea-pigs, and a blind puppy, and left
+them there to settle themselves and make music.
+
+He looked up the water, and there he saw a sight as strange as the
+noise; a great ball rolling over and over down the stream, seeming one
+moment of soft brown fur, and the next of shining glass: and yet it was
+not a ball; for sometimes it broke up and streamed away in pieces, and
+then it joined again; and all the while the noise came out of it louder
+and louder.
+
+Tom asked the dragon-fly what it could be: but, of course, with his
+short sight, he could not even see it, though it was not ten yards away.
+So he took the neatest little header into the water, and started off to
+see for himself; and, when he came near, the ball turned out to be four
+or five beautiful creatures, many times larger than Tom, who were
+swimming about, and rolling, and diving, and twisting, and wrestling,
+and cuddling, and kissing, and biting, and scratching, in the most
+charming fashion that ever was seen. And if you don't believe me, you
+may go to the Zoological Gardens (for I am afraid that you won't see it
+nearer, unless, perhaps, you get up at five in the morning, and go down
+to Cordery's Moor, and watch by the great withy pollard which hangs over
+the backwater, where the otters breed sometimes), and then say, if
+otters at play in the water are not the merriest, lithest, gracefullest
+creatures you ever saw.
+
+But, when the biggest of them saw Tom, she darted out from the rest,
+and cried in the water-language sharply enough, "Quick, children, here
+is something to eat, indeed!" and came at poor Tom, showing such a
+wicked pair of eyes, and such a set of sharp teeth in a grinning mouth,
+that Tom, who had thought her very handsome, said to himself, _Handsome
+is that handsome does_, and slipped in between the water-lily roots as
+fast as he could, and then turned round and made faces at her.
+
+"Come out," said the wicked old otter, "or it will be worse for you."
+
+But Tom looked at her from between two thick roots, and shook them with
+all his might, making horrible faces all the while, just as he used to
+grin through the railings at the old women, when he lived before. It was
+not quite well bred, no doubt; but you know, Tom had not finished his
+education yet.
+
+"Come away, children," said the otter in disgust, "it is not worth
+eating, after all. It is only a nasty eft, which nothing eats, not even
+those vulgar pike in the pond."
+
+"I am not an eft!" said Tom; "efts have tails."
+
+"You are an eft," said the otter, very positively; "I see your two hands
+quite plain, and I know you have a tail."
+
+"I tell you I have not," said Tom. "Look here!" and he turned his pretty
+little self quite round; and sure enough, he had no more tail than you.
+
+The otter might have got out of it by saying that Tom was a frog: but,
+like a great many other people, when she had once said a thing, she
+stood to it, right or wrong; so she answered:
+
+"I say you are an eft, and therefore you are, and not fit food for
+gentlefolk like me and my children. You may stay there till the salmon
+eat you (she knew the salmon would not, but she wanted to frighten poor
+Tom). Ha! ha! they will eat you, and we will eat them"; and the otter
+laughed such a wicked cruel laugh--as you may hear them do sometimes;
+and the first time that you hear it you will probably think it is
+bogies.
+
+"What are salmon?" asked Tom.
+
+"Fish, you eft, great fish, nice fish to eat. They are the lords of the
+fish, and we are lords of the salmon"; and she laughed again. "We hunt
+them up and down the pools, and drive them up into a corner, the silly
+things; they are so proud, and bully the little trout, and the minnows,
+till they see us coming, and then they are so meek all at once; and we
+catch them, but we disdain to eat them all; we just bite out their soft
+throats and suck their sweet juice--Oh, so good!"--(and she licked her
+wicked lips)--"and then throw them away, and go and catch another. They
+are coming soon, children, coming soon; I can smell the rain coming up
+off the sea, and then hurrah for a fresh, and salmon, and plenty of
+eating all day long."
+
+And the otter grew so proud that she turned head over heels twice, and
+then stood upright half out of the water, grinning like a Cheshire cat.
+
+"And where do they come from?" asked Tom, who kept himself very close,
+for he was considerably frightened.
+
+"Out of the sea, eft, the great wide sea, where they might stay and be
+safe if they liked. But out of the sea the silly things come, into the
+great river down below, and we come up to watch for them; and when they
+go down again we go down and follow them. And there we fish for the bass
+and the pollock, and have jolly days along the shore, and toss and roll
+in the breakers, and sleep snug in the warm dry crags. Ah, that is a
+merry life too, children, if it were not for those horrid men."
+
+"What are men?" asked Tom; but somehow he seemed to know before he
+asked.
+
+"Two-legged things, eft: and, now I come to look at you, they are
+actually something like you, if you had not a tail" (she was determined
+that Tom should have a tail), "only a great deal bigger, worse luck for
+us; and they catch the fish with hooks and lines, which get into our
+feet sometimes, and set pots along the rocks to catch lobsters. They
+speared my poor dear husband as he went out to find something for me to
+eat. I was laid up among the crags then, and we were very low in the
+world, for the sea was so rough that no fish would come in shore. But
+they speared him, poor fellow, and I saw them carrying him away upon a
+pole. Ah, he lost his life for your sakes, my children, poor dear
+obedient creature that he was."
+
+And the otter grew so sentimental (for otters can be very sentimental
+when they choose, like a good many people who are both cruel and greedy,
+and no good to anybody at all) that she sailed solemnly away down the
+burn, and Tom saw her no more for that time. And lucky it was for her
+that she did so; for no sooner was she gone, than down the bank came
+seven little rough terrier dogs, snuffing and yapping, and grubbing and
+splashing, in full cry after the otter. Tom hid among the water-lilies
+till they were gone; for he could not guess that they were the
+water-fairies come to help him.
+
+But he could not help thinking of what the otter had said about the
+great river and the broad sea. And, as he thought, he longed to go and
+see them. He could not tell why; but the more he thought, the more he
+grew discontented with the narrow little stream in which he lived, and
+all his companions there; and wanted to get out into the wide wide
+world, and enjoy all the wonderful sights of which he was sure it was
+full.
+
+And once he set off to go down the stream. But the stream was very low;
+and when he came to the shallows he could not keep under water, for
+there was no water left to keep under. So the sun burned his back and
+made him sick; and he went back again and lay quiet in the pool for a
+whole week more.
+
+And then, on the evening of a very hot day, he saw a sight.
+
+He had been very stupid all day, and so had the trout; for they would
+not move an inch to take a fly, though there were thousands on the
+water, but lay dozing at the bottom under the shade of the stones; and
+Tom lay dozing too, and was glad to cuddle their smooth cool sides, for
+the water was quite warm and unpleasant.
+
+But toward evening it grew suddenly dark, and Tom looked up and saw a
+blanket of black clouds lying right across the valley above his head,
+resting on the crags right and left. He felt not quite frightened, but
+very still; for everything was still. There was not a whisper of wind,
+nor a chirp of a bird to be heard; and next a few great drops of rain
+fell plop into the water, and one hit Tom on the nose, and made him pop
+his head down quickly enough.
+
+And then the thunder roared, and the lightning flashed, and leapt across
+Vendale and back again, from cloud to cloud, and cliff to cliff, till
+the very rocks in the stream seemed to shake: and Tom looked up at it
+through the water, and thought it the finest thing he ever saw in his
+life.
+
+But out of the water he dared not put his head; for the rain came down
+by bucketsful, and the hail hammered like shot on the stream, and
+churned it into foam; and soon the stream rose, and rushed down, higher
+and higher, and fouler and fouler, full of beetles, and sticks; and
+straws, and worms, and addle-eggs, and wood-lice, and leeches, and odds
+and ends, and omnium-gatherums, and this, that, and the other, enough to
+fill nine museums.
+
+Tom could hardly stand against the stream, and hid behind a rock. But
+the trout did not; for out they rushed from among the stones, and began
+gobbling the beetles and leeches in the most greedy and quarrelsome way,
+and swimming about with great worms hanging out of their mouths, tugging
+and kicking to get them away from each other.
+
+And now, by the flashes of the lightning, Tom saw a new sight--all the
+bottom of the stream alive with great eels, turning and twisting along,
+all down stream and away. They had been hiding for weeks past in the
+cracks of the rocks, and in burrows in the mud; and Tom had hardly ever
+seen them, except now and then at night: but now they were all out, and
+went hurrying past him so fiercely and wildly that he was quite
+frightened. And as they hurried past he could hear them say to each
+other, "We must run, we must run. What a jolly thunderstorm! Down to the
+sea, down to the sea!"
+
+And then the otter came by with all her brood, twining and sweeping
+along as fast as the eels themselves; and she spied Tom as she came by,
+and said:
+
+"Now is your time, eft, if you want to see the world. Come along,
+children, never mind those nasty eels: we shall breakfast on salmon
+to-morrow. Down to the sea, down to the sea!"
+
+Then came a flash brighter than all the rest, and by the light of it--in
+the thousandth part of a second they were gone again--but he had seen
+them, he was certain of it--Three beautiful little white girls, with
+their arms twined round each other's necks, floating down the torrent,
+as they sang, "Down to the sea, down to the sea!"
+
+[Illustration: "From which great trout rushed out on Tom."--_P. 88._]
+
+"Oh stay! Wait for me!" cried Tom; but they were gone: yet he could hear
+their voices clear and sweet through the roar of thunder and water and
+wind, singing as they died away, "Down to the sea!"
+
+"Down to the sea?" said Tom; "everything is going to the sea, and I will
+go too. Good-bye, trout." But the trout were so busy gobbling worms that
+they never turned to answer him; so that Tom was spared the pain of
+bidding them farewell.
+
+And now, down the rushing stream, guided by the bright flashes of the
+storm; past tall birch-fringed rocks, which shone out one moment as
+clear as day, and the next were dark as night; past dark hovers under
+swirling banks, from which great trout rushed out on Tom, thinking him
+to be good to eat, and turned back sulkily, for the fairies sent them
+home again with a tremendous scolding, for daring to meddle with a
+water-baby; on through narrow strids and roaring cataracts, where Tom
+was deafened and blinded for a moment by the rushing waters; along deep
+reaches, where the white water-lilies tossed and flapped beneath the
+wind and hail; past sleeping villages; under dark bridge-arches, and
+away and away to the sea. And Tom could not stop, and did not care to
+stop; he would see the great world below, and the salmon, and the
+breakers, and the wide wide sea.
+
+And when the daylight came, Tom found himself out in the salmon river.
+
+And what sort of a river was it? Was it like an Irish stream, winding
+through the brown bogs, where the wild ducks squatter up from among the
+white water-lilies, and the curlews flit to and fro, crying
+"Tullie-wheep, mind your sheep"; and Dennis tells you strange stories of
+the Peishtamore, the great bogy-snake which lies in the black peat
+pools, among the old pine-stems, and puts his head out at night to snap
+at the cattle as they come down to drink?--But you must not believe all
+that Dennis tells you, mind; for if you ask him:
+
+"Is there a salmon here, do you think, Dennis?"
+
+"Is it salmon, thin, your honour manes? Salmon? Cartloads it is of thim,
+thin, an' ridgmens, shouldthering ache out of water, av' ye'd but the
+luck to see thim."
+
+Then you fish the pool all over, and never get a rise.
+
+"But there can't be a salmon here, Dennis! and, if you'll but think, if
+one had come up last tide, he'd be gone to the higher pools by now."
+
+"Shure thin, and your honour's the thrue fisherman, and understands it
+all like a book. Why, ye spake as if ye'd known the wather a thousand
+years! As I said, how could there be a fish here at all, just now?"
+
+"But you said just now they were shouldering each other out of water?"
+
+And then Dennis will look up at you with his handsome, sly, soft,
+sleepy, good-natured, untrustable, Irish grey eye, and answer with the
+prettiest smile:
+
+"Shure, and didn't I think your honour would like a pleasant answer?"
+
+So you must not trust Dennis, because he is in the habit of giving
+pleasant answers: but, instead of being angry with him, you must
+remember that he is a poor Paddy, and knows no better; so you must just
+burst out laughing; and then he will burst out laughing too, and slave
+for you, and trot about after you, and show you good sport if he
+can--for he is an affectionate fellow, and as fond of sport as you
+are--and if he can't, tell you fibs instead, a hundred an hour; and
+wonder all the while why poor ould Ireland does not prosper like England
+and Scotland, and some other places, where folk have taken up a
+ridiculous fancy that honesty is the best policy.
+
+Or was it like a Welsh salmon river, which is remarkable chiefly (at
+least, till this last year) for containing no salmon, as they have been
+all poached out by the enlightened peasantry, to prevent the _Cythrawl
+Sassenach_ (which means you, my little dear, your kith and kin, and
+signifies much the same as the Chinese _Fan Quei_) from coming bothering
+into Wales, with good tackle, and ready money, and civilisation, and
+common honesty, and other like things of which the Cymry stand in no
+need whatsoever?
+
+Or was it such a salmon stream as I trust you will see among the
+Hampshire water-meadows before your hairs are grey, under the wise new
+fishing-laws?--when Winchester apprentices shall covenant, as they did
+three hundred years ago, not to be made to eat salmon more than three
+days a week; and fresh-run fish shall be as plentiful under Salisbury
+spire as they are in Holly-hole at Christchurch; in the good time
+coming, when folks shall see that, of all Heaven's gifts of food, the
+one to be protected most carefully is that worthy gentleman salmon, who
+is generous enough to go down to the sea weighing five ounces, and to
+come back next year weighing five pounds, without having cost the soil
+or the state one farthing?
+
+Or was it like a Scotch stream, such as Arthur Clough drew in his
+"Bothie":--
+
+                _"Where over a ledge of granite
+  Into a granite bason the amber torrent descended. . . .
+  Beautiful there for the colour derived from green rocks under;
+  Beautiful most of all, where beads of foam uprising
+  Mingle their clouds of white with the delicate hue of the
+      stillness. . . .
+  Cliff over cliff for its sides, with rowan and pendant birch
+      boughs." . . ._
+
+Ah, my little man, when you are a big man, and fish such a stream as
+that, you will hardly care, I think, whether she be roaring down in full
+spate, like coffee covered with scald cream, while the fish are swirling
+at your fly as an oar-blade swirls in a boat-race, or flashing up the
+cataract like silver arrows, out of the fiercest of the foam; or
+whether the fall be dwindled to a single thread, and the shingle below
+be as white and dusty as a turnpike road, while the salmon huddle
+together in one dark cloud in the clear amber pool, sleeping away their
+time till the rain creeps back again off the sea. You will not care
+much, if you have eyes and brains; for you will lay down your rod
+contentedly, and drink in at your eyes the beauty of that glorious
+place; and listen to the water-ouzel piping on the stones, and watch the
+yellow roes come down to drink and look up at you with their great soft
+trustful eyes, as much as to say, "You could not have the heart to shoot
+at us?" And then, if you have sense, you will turn and talk to the great
+giant of a gilly who lies basking on the stone beside you. He will tell
+you no fibs, my little man; for he is a Scotchman, and fears God, and
+not the priest; and, as you talk with him, you will be surprised more
+and more at his knowledge, his sense, his humour, his courtesy; and you
+will find out--unless you have found it out before--that a man may learn
+from his Bible to be a more thorough gentleman than if he had been
+brought up in all the drawing-rooms in London.
+
+No. It was none of these, the salmon stream at Harthover. It was such a
+stream as you see in dear old Bewick; Bewick, who was born and bred upon
+them. A full hundred yards broad it was, sliding on from broad pool to
+broad shallow, and broad shallow to broad pool, over great fields of
+shingle, under oak and ash coverts, past low cliffs of sandstone, past
+green meadows, and fair parks, and a great house of grey stone, and
+brown moors above, and here and there against the sky the smoking
+chimney of a colliery. You must look at Bewick to see just what it was
+like, for he has drawn it a hundred times with the care and the love of
+a true north countryman; and, even if you do not care about the salmon
+river, you ought, like all good boys, to know your Bewick.
+
+At least, so old Sir John used to say, and very sensibly he put it too,
+as he was wont to do:
+
+"If they want to describe a finished young gentleman in France, I hear,
+they say of him, '_Il sait son Rabelais._' But if I want to describe one
+in England, I say, '_He knows his Bewick._' And I think that is the
+higher compliment."
+
+But Tom thought nothing about what the river was like. All his fancy
+was, to get down to the wide wide sea.
+
+And after a while he came to a place where the river spread out into
+broad still shallow reaches, so wide that little Tom, as he put his head
+out of the water, could hardly see across.
+
+And there he stopped. He got a little frightened. "This must be the
+sea," he thought. "What a wide place it is! If I go on into it I shall
+surely lose my way, or some strange thing will bite me. I will stop here
+and look out for the otter, or the eels, or some one to tell me where I
+shall go."
+
+So he went back a little way, and crept into a crack of the rock, just
+where the river opened out into the wide shallows, and watched for some
+one to tell him his way: but the otter and the eels were gone on miles
+and miles down the stream.
+
+There he waited, and slept too, for he was quite tired with his night's
+journey; and, when he woke, the stream was clearing to a beautiful amber
+hue, though it was still very high. And after a while he saw a sight
+which made him jump up; for he knew in a moment it was one of the things
+which he had come to look for.
+
+Such a fish! ten times as big as the biggest trout, and a hundred times
+as big as Tom, sculling up the stream past him, as easily as Tom had
+sculled down.
+
+Such a fish! shining silver from head to tail, and here and there a
+crimson dot; with a grand hooked nose and grand curling lip, and a grand
+bright eye, looking round him as proudly as a king, and surveying the
+water right and left as if all belonged to him. Surely he must be the
+salmon, the king of all the fish.
+
+Tom was so frightened that he longed to creep into a hole; but he need
+not have been; for salmon are all true gentlemen, and, like true
+gentlemen, they look noble and proud enough, and yet, like true
+gentlemen, they never harm or quarrel with any one, but go about their
+own business, and leave rude fellows to themselves.
+
+The salmon looked at him full in the face, and then went on without
+minding him, with a swish or two of his tail which made the stream boil
+again. And in a few minutes came another, and then four or five, and so
+on; and all passed Tom, rushing and plunging up the cataract with strong
+strokes of their silver tails, now and then leaping clean out of water
+and up over a rock, shining gloriously for a moment in the bright sun;
+while Tom was so delighted that he could have watched them all day long.
+
+And at last one came up bigger than all the rest; but he came slowly,
+and stopped, and looked back, and seemed very anxious and busy. And Tom
+saw that he was helping another salmon, an especially handsome one, who
+had not a single spot upon it, but was clothed in pure silver from nose
+to tail.
+
+"My dear," said the great fish to his companion, "you really look
+dreadfully tired, and you must not over-exert yourself at first. Do rest
+yourself behind this rock"; and he shoved her gently with his nose, to
+the rock where Tom sat.
+
+You must know that this was the salmon's wife. For salmon, like other
+true gentlemen, always choose their lady, and love her, and are true to
+her, and take care of her and work for her, and fight for her, as every
+true gentleman ought; and are not like vulgar chub and roach and pike,
+who have no high feelings, and take no care of their wives.
+
+Then he saw Tom, and looked at him very fiercely one moment, as if he
+was going to bite him.
+
+"What do you want here?" he said, very fiercely.
+
+"Oh, don't hurt me!" cried Tom. "I only want to look at you; you are so
+handsome."
+
+"Ah?" said the salmon, very stately but very civilly. "I really beg your
+pardon; I see what you are, my little dear. I have met one or two
+creatures like you before, and found them very agreeable and
+well-behaved. Indeed, one of them showed me a great kindness lately,
+which I hope to be able to repay. I hope we shall not be in your way
+here. As soon as this lady is rested, we shall proceed on our journey."
+
+What a well-bred old salmon he was!
+
+"So you have seen things like me before?" asked Tom.
+
+"Several times, my dear. Indeed, it was only last night that one at the
+river's mouth came and warned me and my wife of some new stake-nets
+which had got into the stream, I cannot tell how, since last winter, and
+showed us the way round them, in the most charmingly obliging way."
+
+"So there are babies in the sea?" cried Tom, and clapped his little
+hands. "Then I shall have some one to play with there? How delightful!"
+
+"Were there no babies up this stream?" asked the lady salmon.
+
+"No! and I grew so lonely. I thought I saw three last night; but they
+were gone in an instant, down to the sea. So I went too; for I had
+nothing to play with but caddises and dragon-flies and trout."
+
+"Ugh!" cried the lady, "what low company!"
+
+"My dear, if he has been in low company, he has certainly not learnt
+their low manners," said the salmon.
+
+"No, indeed, poor little dear: but how sad for him to live among such
+people as caddises, who have actually six legs, the nasty things; and
+dragon-flies, too! why they are not even good to eat; for I tried them
+once, and they are all hard and empty; and, as for trout, every one
+knows what they are." Whereon she curled up her lip, and looked
+dreadfully scornful, while her husband curled up his too, till he looked
+as proud as Alcibiades.
+
+"Why do you dislike the trout so?" asked Tom.
+
+"My dear, we do not even mention them, if we can help it; for I am sorry
+to say they are relations of ours who do us no credit. A great many
+years ago they were just like us: but they were so lazy, and cowardly,
+and greedy, that instead of going down to the sea every year to see the
+world and grow strong and fat, they chose to stay and poke about in the
+little streams and eat worms and grubs; and they are very properly
+punished for it; for they have grown ugly and brown and spotted and
+small; and are actually so degraded in their tastes, that they will eat
+our children."
+
+"And then they pretend to scrape acquaintance with us again," said the
+lady. "Why, I have actually known one of them propose to a lady salmon,
+the little impudent little creature."
+
+"I should hope," said the gentleman, "that there are very few ladies of
+our race who would degrade themselves by listening to such a creature
+for an instant. If I saw such a thing happen, I should consider it my
+duty to put them both to death upon the spot." So the old salmon said,
+like an old blue-blooded hidalgo of Spain; and what is more, he would
+have done it too. For you must know, no enemies are so bitter against
+each other as those who are of the same race; and a salmon looks on a
+trout, as some great folks look on some little folks, as something just
+too much like himself to be tolerated.
+
+          "Sweet is the lore which Nature brings;
+           Our meddling intellect
+           Mis-shapes the beauteous forms of things
+           We murder to dissect.
+
+          "Enough of science and of art:
+           Close up these barren leaves;
+           Come forth, and bring with you a heart
+           That watches and receives."
+
+                                    WORDSWORTH.
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IV
+
+
+[Illustration: "He watched the moonlight on the rippling river." _P.
+101._]
+
+SO the salmon went up, after Tom had warned them of the wicked old
+otter; and Tom went down, but slowly and cautiously, coasting along the
+shore. He was many days about it, for it was many miles down to the sea;
+and perhaps he would never have found his way, if the fairies had not
+guided him, without his seeing their fair faces, or feeling their gentle
+hands.
+
+And, as he went, he had a very strange adventure. It was a clear still
+September night, and the moon shone so brightly down through the water,
+that he could not sleep, though he shut his eyes as tight as possible.
+So at last he came up to the top, and sat upon a little point of rock,
+and looked up at the broad yellow moon, and wondered what she was, and
+thought that she looked at him. And he watched the moonlight on the
+rippling river, and the black heads of the firs, and the silver-frosted
+lawns, and listened to the owl's hoot, and the snipe's bleat, and the
+fox's bark, and the otter's laugh; and smelt the soft perfume of the
+birches, and the wafts of heather honey off the grouse moor far above;
+and felt very happy, though he could not well tell why. You, of course,
+would have been very cold sitting there on a September night, without
+the least bit of clothes on your wet back; but Tom was a water-baby, and
+therefore felt cold no more than a fish.
+
+Suddenly, he saw a beautiful sight. A bright red light moved along the
+river-side, and threw down into the water a long tap-root of flame. Tom,
+curious little rogue that he was, must needs go and see what it was; so
+he swam to the shore, and met the light as it stopped over a shallow run
+at the edge of a low rock.
+
+And there, underneath the light, lay five or six great salmon, looking
+up at the flame with their great goggle eyes, and wagging their tails,
+as if they were very much pleased at it.
+
+Tom came to the top, to look at this wonderful light nearer, and made a
+splash.
+
+And he heard a voice say:
+
+"There was a fish rose."
+
+He did not know what the words meant: but he seemed to know the sound of
+them, and to know the voice which spoke them; and he saw on the bank
+three great two-legged creatures, one of whom held the light, flaring
+and sputtering, and another a long pole. And he knew that they were men,
+and was frightened, and crept into a hole in the rock, from which he
+could see what went on.
+
+The man with the torch bent down over the water, and looked earnestly
+in; and then he said:
+
+"Tak' that muckle fellow, lad; he's ower fifteen punds; and haud your
+hand steady."
+
+Tom felt that there was some danger coming, and longed to warn the
+foolish salmon, who kept staring up at the light as if he was bewitched.
+But before he could make up his mind, down came the pole through the
+water; there was a fearful splash and struggle, and Tom saw that the
+poor salmon was speared right through, and was lifted out of the water.
+
+And then, from behind, there sprang on these three men three other men;
+and there were shouts, and blows, and words which Tom recollected to
+have heard before; and he shuddered and turned sick at them now, for he
+felt somehow that they were strange, and ugly, and wrong, and horrible.
+And it all began to come back to him. They were men; and they were
+fighting; savage, desperate, up-and-down fighting, such as Tom had seen
+too many times before.
+
+And he stopped his little ears, and longed to swim away; and was very
+glad that he was a water-baby, and had nothing to do any more with
+horrid dirty men, with foul clothes on their backs, and foul words on
+their lips; but he dared not stir out of his hole: while the rock shook
+over his head with the trampling and struggling of the keepers and the
+poachers.
+
+All of a sudden there was a tremendous splash, and a frightful flash,
+and a hissing, and all was still.
+
+For into the water, close to Tom, fell one of the men; he who held the
+light in his hand. Into the swift river he sank, and rolled over and
+over in the current. Tom heard the men above run along, seemingly
+looking for him; but he drifted down into the deep hole below, and there
+lay quite still, and they could not find him.
+
+Tom waited a long time, till all was quiet; and then he peeped out, and
+saw the man lying. At last he screwed up his courage and swam down to
+him. "Perhaps," he thought, "the water has made him fall asleep, as it
+did me."
+
+Then he went nearer. He grew more and more curious, he could not tell
+why. He must go and look at him. He would go very quietly, of course; so
+he swam round and round him, closer and closer; and, as he did not stir,
+at last he came quite close and looked him in the face.
+
+The moon shone so bright that Tom could see every feature; and, as he
+saw, he recollected, bit by bit, it was his old master, Grimes.
+
+Tom turned tail, and swam away as fast as he could.
+
+"Oh dear me!" he thought, "now he will turn into a water-baby. What a
+nasty troublesome one he will be! And perhaps he will find me out, and
+beat me again."
+
+So he went up the river again a little way, and lay there the rest of
+the night under an alder root; but, when morning came, he longed to go
+down again to the big pool, and see whether Mr. Grimes had turned into a
+water-baby yet.
+
+So he went very carefully, peeping round all the rocks, and hiding under
+all the roots. Mr. Grimes lay there still; he had not turned into a
+water-baby. In the afternoon Tom went back again. He could not rest
+till he had found out what had become of Mr. Grimes. But this time Mr.
+Grimes was gone; and Tom made up his mind that he was turned into a
+water-baby.
+
+He might have made himself easy, poor little man; Mr. Grimes did not
+turn into a water-baby, or anything like one at all. But he did not make
+himself easy; and a long time he was fearful lest he should meet Grimes
+suddenly in some deep pool. He could not know that the fairies had
+carried him away, and put him, where they put everything which falls
+into the water, exactly where it ought to be. But, do you know, what had
+happened to Mr. Grimes had such an effect on him that he never poached
+salmon any more. And it is quite certain that, when a man becomes a
+confirmed poacher, the only way to cure him is to put him under water
+for twenty-four hours, like Grimes. So when you grow to be a big man, do
+you behave as all honest fellows should; and never touch a fish or a
+head of game which belongs to another man without his express leave; and
+then people will call you a gentleman, and treat you like one; and
+perhaps give you good sport: instead of hitting you into the river, or
+calling you a poaching snob.
+
+Then Tom went on down, for he was afraid of staying near Grimes: and as
+he went, all the vale looked sad. The red and yellow leaves showered
+down into the river; the flies and beetles were all dead and gone; the
+chill autumn fog lay low upon the hills, and sometimes spread itself so
+thickly on the river that he could not see his way. But he felt his way
+instead, following the flow of the stream, day after day, past great
+bridges, past boats and barges, past the great town, with its wharfs,
+and mills, and tall smoking chimneys, and ships which rode at anchor in
+the stream; and now and then he ran against their hawsers, and wondered
+what they were, and peeped out, and saw the sailors lounging on board
+smoking their pipes; and ducked under again, for he was terribly afraid
+of being caught by man and turned into a chimney-sweep once more. He did
+not know that the fairies were close to him always, shutting the
+sailors' eyes lest they should see him, and turning him aside from
+millraces, and sewer-mouths, and all foul and dangerous things. Poor
+little fellow, it was a dreary journey for him; and more than once he
+longed to be back in Vendale, playing with the trout in the bright
+summer sun. But it could not be. What has been once can never come over
+again. And people can be little babies, even water-babies, only once in
+their lives.
+
+Besides, people who make up their minds to go and see the world, as Tom
+did, must needs find it a weary journey. Lucky for them if they do not
+lose heart and stop half-way, instead of going on bravely to the end as
+Tom did. For then they will remain neither boys nor men, neither fish,
+flesh, nor good red-herring: having learnt a great deal too much, and
+yet not enough; and sown their wild oats, without having the advantage
+of reaping them.
+
+But Tom was always a brave, determined, little English bull-dog, who
+never knew when he was beaten; and on and on he held, till he saw a
+long way off the red buoy through the fog. And then he found to his
+surprise, the stream turned round, and running up inland.
+
+It was the tide, of course: but Tom knew nothing of the tide. He only
+knew that in a minute more the water, which had been fresh, turned salt
+all round him. And then there came a change over him. He felt as strong,
+and light, and fresh, as if his veins had run champagne; and gave, he
+did not know why, three skips out of the water, a yard high, and head
+over heels, just as the salmon do when they first touch the noble rich
+salt water, which, as some wise men tell us, is the mother of all living
+things.
+
+He did not care now for the tide being against him. The red buoy was in
+sight, dancing in the open sea; and to the buoy he would go, and to it
+he went. He passed great shoals of bass and mullet, leaping and rushing
+in after the shrimps, but he never heeded them, or they him; and once he
+passed a great black shining seal, who was coming in after the mullet.
+The seal put his head and shoulders out of water, and stared at him,
+looking exactly like a fat old greasy negro with a grey pate. And Tom,
+instead of being frightened, said, "How d'ye do, sir; what a beautiful
+place the sea is!" And the old seal, instead of trying to bite him,
+looked at him with his soft sleepy winking eyes, and said, "Good tide to
+you, my little man; are you looking for your brothers and sisters? I
+passed them all at play outside."
+
+"Oh, then," said Tom, "I shall have playfellows at last," and he swam on
+to the buoy, and got upon it (for he was quite out of breath) and sat
+there, and looked round for water-babies: but there were none to be
+seen.
+
+The sea-breeze came in freshly with the tide and blew the fog away; and
+the little waves danced for joy around the buoy, and the old buoy danced
+with them. The shadows of the clouds ran races over the bright blue bay,
+and yet never caught each other up; and the breakers plunged merrily
+upon the wide white sands, and jumped up over the rocks, to see what the
+green fields inside were like, and tumbled down and broke themselves all
+to pieces, and never minded it a bit, but mended themselves and jumped
+up again. And the terns hovered over Tom like huge white dragon-flies
+with black heads, and the gulls laughed like girls at play, and the
+sea-pies, with their red bills and legs, flew to and fro from shore to
+shore, and whistled sweet and wild. And Tom looked and looked, and
+listened; and he would have been very happy, if he could only have seen
+the water-babies. Then when the tide turned, he left the buoy, and swam
+round and round in search of them: but in vain. Sometimes he thought he
+heard them laughing: but it was only the laughter of the ripples. And
+sometimes he thought he saw them at the bottom: but it was only white
+and pink shells. And once he was sure he had found one, for he saw two
+bright eyes peeping out of the sand. So he dived down, and began
+scraping the sand away, and cried, "Don't hide; I do want some one to
+play with so much!" And out jumped a great turbot with his ugly eyes and
+mouth all awry, and flopped away along the bottom, knocking poor Tom
+over. And he sat down at the bottom of the sea, and cried salt tears
+from sheer disappointment.
+
+To have come all this way, and faced so many dangers, and yet to find no
+water-babies! How hard! Well, it did seem hard: but people, even little
+babies, cannot have all they want without waiting for it, and working
+for it too, my little man, as you will find out some day.
+
+And Tom sat upon the buoy long days, long weeks, looking out to sea, and
+wondering when the water-babies would come back; and yet they never
+came.
+
+Then he began to ask all the strange things which came in out of the sea
+if they had seen any; and some said "Yes," and some said nothing at all.
+
+He asked the bass and the pollock; but they were so greedy after the
+shrimps that they did not care to answer him a word.
+
+Then there came in a whole fleet of purple sea-snails, floating along,
+each on a sponge full of foam, and Tom said, "Where do you come from,
+you pretty creatures? and have you seen the water-babies?"
+
+And the sea-snails answered, "Whence we come we know not; and whither we
+are going, who can tell? We float out our life in the mid-ocean, with
+the warm sunshine above our heads, and the warm gulf-stream below; and
+that is enough for us. Yes; perhaps we have seen the water-babies. We
+have seen many strange things as we sailed along." And they floated
+away, the happy stupid things, and all went ashore upon the sands.
+
+Then there came in a great lazy sunfish, as big as a fat pig cut in
+half; and he seemed to have been cut in half too, and squeezed in a
+clothes-press till he was flat; but to all his big body and big fins he
+had only a little rabbit's mouth, no bigger than Tom's; and, when Tom
+questioned him, he answered in a little squeaky feeble voice:
+
+"I'm sure I don't know; I've lost my way. I meant to go to the
+Chesapeake, and I'm afraid I've got wrong somehow. Dear me! it was all
+by following that pleasant warm water. I'm sure I've lost my way."
+
+And, when Tom asked him again, he could only answer, "I've lost my way.
+Don't talk to me; I want to think."
+
+But, like a good many other people, the more he tried to think the less
+he could think; and Tom saw him blundering about all day, till the
+coastguardsmen saw his big fin above the water, and rowed out, and
+struck a boat-hook into him, and took him away. They took him up to the
+town and showed him for a penny a head, and made a good day's work of
+it. But of course Tom did not know that.
+
+Then there came by a shoal of porpoises, rolling as they went--papas,
+and mammas, and little children--and all quite smooth and shiny,
+because the fairies French-polish them every morning; and they sighed
+so softly as they came by, that Tom took courage to speak to them: but
+all they answered was, "Hush, hush, hush"; for that was all they had
+learnt to say.
+
+And then there came a shoal of basking sharks, some of them as long as a
+boat, and Tom was frightened at them. But they were very lazy
+good-natured fellows, not greedy tyrants, like white sharks and blue
+sharks and ground sharks and hammer-heads, who eat men, or saw-fish and
+threshers and ice-sharks, who hunt the poor old whales. They came and
+rubbed their great sides against the buoy, and lay basking in the sun
+with their back-fins out of water; and winked at Tom: but he never could
+get them to speak. They had eaten so many herrings that they were quite
+stupid; and Tom was glad when a collier brig came by and frightened them
+all away; for they did smell most horribly, certainly, and he had to
+hold his nose tight as long as they were there.
+
+And then there came by a beautiful creature, like a ribbon of pure
+silver with a sharp head and very long teeth; but it seemed very sick
+and sad. Sometimes it rolled helpless on its side; and then it dashed
+away glittering like white fire; and then it lay sick again and
+motionless.
+
+"Where do you come from?" asked Tom. "And why are _you_ so sick and
+sad?"
+
+"I come from the warm Carolinas, and the sandbanks fringed with pines;
+where the great owl-rays leap and flap, like giant bats, upon the tide.
+But I wandered north and north, upon the treacherous warm gulf-stream,
+till I met with the cold icebergs, afloat in the mid ocean. So I got
+tangled among the icebergs, and chilled with their frozen breath. But
+the water-babies helped me from among them, and set me free again. And
+now I am mending every day; but I am very sick and sad; and perhaps I
+shall never get home again to play with the owl-rays any more."
+
+"Oh!" cried Tom. "And you have seen water-babies? Have you seen any near
+here?"
+
+"Yes; they helped me again last night, or I should have been eaten by a
+great black porpoise."
+
+How vexatious! The water-babies close to him, and yet he could not find
+one.
+
+And then he left the buoy, and used to go along the sands and round the
+rocks, and come out in the night--like the forsaken Merman in Mr.
+Arnold's beautiful, beautiful poem, which you must learn by heart some
+day--and sit upon a point of rock, among the shining seaweeds, in the
+low October tides, and cry and call for the water-babies; but he never
+heard a voice call in return. And at last, with his fretting and crying,
+he grew quite lean and thin.
+
+But one day among the rocks he found a playfellow. It was not a
+water-baby, alas! but it was a lobster; and a very distinguished lobster
+he was; for he had live barnacles on his claws, which is a great mark of
+distinction in lobsterdom, and no more to be bought for money than a
+good conscience or the Victoria Cross.
+
+[Illustration: "Tom had never seen a lobster before."--_P. 113._]
+
+Tom had never seen a lobster before; and he was mightily taken with this
+one; for he thought him the most curious, odd, ridiculous creature he
+had ever seen; and there he was not far wrong; for all the ingenious
+men, and all the scientific men, and all the fanciful men, in the world,
+with all the old German bogy-painters into the bargain, could never
+invent, if all their wits were boiled into one, anything so curious, and
+so ridiculous, as a lobster.
+
+He had one claw knobbed and the other jagged; and Tom delighted in
+watching him hold on to the seaweed with his knobbed claw, while he cut
+up salads with his jagged one, and then put them into his mouth, after
+smelling at them, like a monkey. And always the little barnacles threw
+out their casting-nets and swept the water, and came in for their share
+of whatever there was for dinner.
+
+But Tom was most astonished to see how he fired himself off--snap! like
+the leap-frogs which you make out of a goose's breast-bone. Certainly he
+took the most wonderful shots, and backwards, too. For, if he wanted to
+go into a narrow crack ten yards off, what do you think he did? If he
+had gone in head foremost, of course he could not have turned round. So
+he used to turn his tail to it, and lay his long horns, which carry his
+sixth sense in their tips (and nobody knows what that sixth sense is),
+straight down his back to guide him, and twist his eyes back till they
+almost came out of their sockets, and then made ready, present, fire,
+snap!--and away he went, pop into the hole; and peeped out and twiddled
+his whiskers, as much as to say, "You couldn't do that."
+
+Tom asked him about water-babies. "Yes," he said. He had seen them
+often. But he did not think much of them. They were meddlesome little
+creatures, that went about helping fish and shells which got into
+scrapes. Well, for his part, he should be ashamed to be helped by little
+soft creatures that had not even a shell on their backs. He had lived
+quite long enough in the world to take care of himself.
+
+He was a conceited fellow, the old lobster, and not very civil to Tom;
+and you will hear how he had to alter his mind before he was done, as
+conceited people generally have. But he was so funny, and Tom so lonely,
+that he could not quarrel with him; and they used to sit in holes in the
+rocks, and chat for hours.
+
+And about this time there happened to Tom a very strange and important
+adventure--so important, indeed, that he was very near never finding the
+water-babies at all; and I am sure you would have been sorry for that.
+
+I hope that you have not forgotten the little white lady all this while.
+At least, here she comes, looking like a clean white good little
+darling, as she always was, and always will be. For it befell in the
+pleasant short December days, when the wind always blows from the
+south-west, till Old Father Christmas comes and spreads the great white
+table-cloth, ready for little boys and girls to give the birds their
+Christmas dinner of crumbs--it befell (to go on) in the pleasant
+December days, that Sir John was so busy hunting that nobody at home
+could get a word out of him. Four days a week he hunted, and very good
+sport he had; and the other two he went to the bench and the board of
+guardians, and very good justice he did; and, when he got home in time,
+he dined at five; for he hated this absurd new fashion of dining at
+eight in the hunting season, which forces a man to make interest with
+the footman for cold beef and beer as soon as he comes in, and so spoil
+his appetite, and then sleep in an arm-chair in his bedroom, all stiff
+and tired, for two or three hours before he can get his dinner like a
+gentleman. And do you be like Sir John, my dear little man, when you are
+your own master; and, if you want either to read hard or ride hard,
+stick to the good old Cambridge hours of breakfast at eight and dinner
+at five; by which you may get two days' work out of one. But, of course,
+if you find a fox at three in the afternoon and run him till dark, and
+leave off twenty miles from home, why you must wait for your dinner till
+you can get it, as better men than you have done. Only see that, if you
+go hungry, your horse does not; but give him his warm gruel and beer,
+and take him gently home, remembering that good horses don't grow on the
+hedge like blackberries.
+
+It befell (to go on a second time) that Sir John, hunting all day, and
+dining at five, fell asleep every evening, and snored so terribly that
+all the windows in Harthover shook, and the soot fell down the
+chimneys. Whereon My Lady, being no more able to get conversation out of
+him than a song out of a dead nightingale, determined to go off and
+leave him, and the doctor, and Captain Swinger the agent, to snore in
+concert every evening to their hearts' content. So she started for the
+seaside with all the children, in order to put herself and them into
+condition by mild applications of iodine. She might as well have stayed
+at home and used Parry's liquid horse-blister, for there was plenty of
+it in the stables; and then she would have saved her money, and saved
+the chance, also, of making all the children ill instead of well (as
+hundreds are made), by taking them to some nasty smelling undrained
+lodging, and then wondering how they caught scarlatina and diphtheria:
+but people won't be wise enough to understand that till they are dead of
+bad smells, and then it will be too late; besides you see, Sir John did
+certainly snore very loud.
+
+But where she went to nobody must know, for fear young ladies should
+begin to fancy that there are water-babies there! and so hunt and howk
+after them (besides raising the price of lodgings), and keep them in
+aquariums, as the ladies at Pompeii (as you may see by the paintings)
+used to keep Cupids in cages. But nobody ever heard that they starved
+the Cupids, or let them die of dirt and neglect, as English young ladies
+do by the poor sea-beasts. So nobody must know where My Lady went.
+Letting water-babies die is as bad as taking singing birds' eggs; for,
+though there are thousands, ay, millions, of both of them in the world,
+yet there is not one too many.
+
+Now it befell that, on the very shore, and over the very rocks, where
+Tom was sitting with his friend the lobster, there walked one day the
+little white lady, Ellie herself, and with her a very wise man
+indeed--Professor Ptthmllnsprts.
+
+His mother was a Dutchwoman, and therefore he was born at Curaçao (of
+course you have learnt your geography, and therefore know why); and his
+father a Pole, and therefore he was brought up at Petropaulowski (of
+course you have learnt your modern politics, and therefore know why):
+but for all that he was as thorough an Englishman as ever coveted his
+neighbour's goods. And his name, as I said, was Professor Ptthmllnsprts,
+which is a very ancient and noble Polish name.
+
+He was, as I said, a very great naturalist, and chief professor of
+_Necrobioneopalæonthydrochthonanthropopithekology_ in the new university
+which the king of the Cannibal Islands had founded; and, being a member
+of the Acclimatisation Society, he had come here to collect all the
+nasty things which he could find on the coast of England, and turn them
+loose round the Cannibal Islands, because they had not nasty things
+enough there to eat what they left.
+
+But he was a very worthy kind good-natured little old gentleman; and
+very fond of children (for he was not the least a cannibal himself); and
+very good to all the world as long as it was good to him. Only one
+fault he had, which cock-robins have likewise, as you may see if you
+look out of the nursery window--that, when any one else found a curious
+worm, he would hop round them, and peck them, and set up his tail, and
+bristle up his feathers, just as a cock-robin would; and declare that he
+found the worm first; and that it was his worm; and, if not, that then
+it was not a worm at all.
+
+He had met Sir John at Scarborough, or Fleetwood, or somewhere or other
+(if you don't care where, nobody else does), and had made acquaintance
+with him, and become very fond of his children. Now, Sir John knew
+nothing about sea-cockyolybirds, and cared less, provided the fishmonger
+sent him good fish for dinner; and My Lady knew as little: but she
+thought it proper that the children should know something. For in the
+stupid old times, you must understand, children were taught to know one
+thing, and to know it well; but in these enlightened new times they are
+taught to know a little about everything, and to know it all ill; which
+is a great deal pleasanter and easier, and therefore quite right.
+
+So Ellie and he were walking on the rocks, and he was showing her about
+one in ten thousand of all the beautiful and curious things which are to
+be seen there. But little Ellie was not satisfied with them at all. She
+liked much better to play with live children, or even with dolls, which
+she could pretend were alive; and at last she said honestly, "I don't
+care about all these things, because they can't play with me, or talk
+to me. If there were little children now in the water, as there used to
+be, and I could see them, I should like that."
+
+"Children in the water, you strange little duck?" said the professor.
+
+"Yes," said Ellie. "I know there used to be children in the water, and
+mermaids too, and mermen. I saw them all in a picture at home, of a
+beautiful lady sailing in a car drawn by dolphins, and babies flying
+round her, and one sitting in her lap; and the mermaids swimming and
+playing, and the mermen trumpeting on conch-shells; and it is called
+'The Triumph of Galatea'; and there is a burning mountain in the picture
+behind. It hangs on the great staircase, and I have looked at it ever
+since I was a baby, and dreamt about it a hundred times; and it is so
+beautiful, that it must be true."
+
+But the professor had not the least notion of allowing that things were
+true, merely because people thought them beautiful. For at that rate, he
+said, the Baltas would be quite right in thinking it a fine thing to eat
+their grandpapas, because they thought it an ugly thing to put them
+underground. The professor, indeed, went further, and held that no man
+was forced to believe anything to be true, but what he could see, hear,
+taste, or handle.
+
+He held very strange theories about a good many things. He had even got
+up once at the British Association, and declared that apes had
+hippopotamus majors in their brains just as men have. Which was a
+shocking thing to say; for, if it were so, what would become of the
+faith, hope, and charity of immortal millions? You may think that there
+are other more important differences between you and an ape, such as
+being able to speak, and make machines, and know right from wrong, and
+say your prayers, and other little matters of that kind; but that is a
+child's fancy, my dear. Nothing is to be depended on but the great
+hippopotamus test. If you have a hippopotamus major in your brain, you
+are no ape, though you had four hands, no feet, and were more apish than
+the apes of all aperies. But if a hippopotamus major is ever discovered
+in one single ape's brain, nothing will save your great-great-great-great-
+great-great-great-great-great-great-great-greater-greatest-grandmother
+from having been an ape too. No, my dear little man; always remember
+that the one true, certain, final, and all-important difference between
+you and an ape is, that you have a hippopotamus major in your brain, and
+it has none; and that, therefore, to discover one in its brain will be a
+very wrong and dangerous thing, at which every one will be very much
+shocked, as we may suppose they were at the professor.--Though really,
+after all, it don't much matter; because--as Lord Dundreary and others
+would put it--nobody but men have hippopotamuses in their brains; so, if
+a hippopotamus was discovered in an ape's brain, why it would not be
+one, you know, but something else.
+
+But the professor had gone, I am sorry to say, even further than
+that; for he had read at the British Association at Melbourne,
+Australia, in the year 1999, a paper which assured every one who found
+himself the better or wiser for the news, that there were not, never
+had been, and could not be, any rational or half-rational beings
+except men, anywhere, anywhen, or anyhow; that _nymphs_, _satyrs_,
+_fauns_, _inui_, _dwarfs_, _trolls_, _elves_, _gnomes_, _fairies_,
+_brownies_, _nixes_, _wilis_, _kobolds_, _leprechaunes_, _cluricaunes_,
+_banshees_, _will-o'-the-wisps_, _follets_, _lutins_, _magots_, _goblins_,
+_afrits_, _marids_, _jinns_, _ghouls_, _peris_, _deevs_, _angels_,
+_archangels_, _imps_, _bogies_, or worse, were nothing at all, and pure
+bosh and wind. And he had to get up very early in the morning to prove
+that, and to eat his breakfast overnight; but he did it, at least to his
+own satisfaction. Whereon a certain great divine, and a very clever
+divine was he, called him a regular Sadducee; and probably he was quite
+right. Whereon the professor, in return, called him a regular Pharisee;
+and probably he was quite right too. But they did not quarrel in the
+least; for, when men are men of the world, hard words run off them like
+water off a duck's back. So the professor and the divine met at dinner
+that evening, and sat together on the sofa afterwards for an hour, and
+talked over the state of female labour on the antarctic continent (for
+nobody talks shop after his claret), and each vowed that the other was
+the best company he ever met in his life. What an advantage it is to be
+men of the world!
+
+From all which you may guess that the professor was not the least of
+little Ellie's opinion. So he gave her a succinct compendium of his
+famous paper at the British Association, in a form suited for the
+youthful mind. But, as we have gone over his arguments against
+water-babies once already, which is once too often, we will not repeat
+them here.
+
+Now little Ellie was, I suppose, a stupid little girl; for, instead of
+being convinced by Professor Ptthmllnsprts' arguments, she only asked
+the same question over again.
+
+"But why are there not water-babies?"
+
+I trust and hope that it was because the professor trod at that moment
+on the edge of a very sharp mussel, and hurt one of his corns sadly,
+that he answered quite sharply, forgetting that he was a scientific man,
+and therefore ought to have known that he couldn't know; and that he was
+a logician, and therefore ought to have known that he could not prove a
+universal negative--I say, I trust and hope it was because the mussel
+hurt his corn, that the professor answered quite sharply:
+
+"Because there ain't."
+
+Which was not even good English, my dear little boy; for, as you must
+know from Aunt Agitate's Arguments, the professor ought to have said, if
+he was so angry as to say anything of the kind--Because there are not:
+or are none: or are none of them; or (if he had been reading Aunt
+Agitate too) because they do not exist.
+
+And he groped with his net under the weeds so violently, that, as it
+befell, he caught poor little Tom.
+
+He felt the net very heavy; and lifted it out quickly, with Tom all
+entangled in the meshes.
+
+"Dear me!" he cried. "What a large pink Holothurian; with hands, too! It
+must be connected with Synapta."
+
+And he took him out.
+
+"It has actually eyes!" he cried. "Why, it must be a Cephalopod! This is
+most extraordinary!"
+
+"No, I ain't!" cried Tom, as loud as he could; for he did not like to be
+called bad names.
+
+"It is a water-baby!" cried Ellie; and of course it was.
+
+"Water-fiddlesticks, my dear!" said the professor; and he turned away
+sharply.
+
+There was no denying it. It was a water-baby: and he had said a moment
+ago that there were none. What was he to do?
+
+He would have liked, of course, to have taken Tom home in a bucket. He
+would not have put him in spirits. Of course not. He would have kept him
+alive, and petted him (for he was a very kind old gentleman), and
+written a book about him, and given him two long names, of which the
+first would have said a little about Tom, and the second all about
+himself; for of course he would have called him Hydrotecnon
+Ptthmllnsprtsianum, or some other long name like that; for they are
+forced to call everything by long names now, because they have used up
+all the short ones, ever since they took to making nine species out of
+one. But--what would all the learned men say to him after his speech at
+the British Association? And what would Ellie say, after what he had
+just told her?
+
+There was a wise old heathen once, who said, "Maxima debetur pueris
+reverentia"--The greatest reverence is due to children; that is, that
+grown people should never say or do anything wrong before children, lest
+they should set them a bad example.--Cousin Cramchild says it means,
+"The greatest respectfulness is expected from little boys." But he was
+raised in a country where little boys are not expected to be respectful,
+because all of them are as good as the President:--Well, every one knows
+his own concerns best; so perhaps they are. But poor Cousin Cramchild,
+to do him justice, not being of that opinion, and having a moral
+mission, and being no scholar to speak of, and hard up for an
+authority--why, it was a very great temptation for him. But some people,
+and I am afraid the professor was one of them, interpret that in a more
+strange, curious, one-sided, left-handed, topsy-turvy, inside-out,
+behind-before fashion than even Cousin Cramchild; for they make it mean,
+that you must show your respect for children, by never confessing
+yourself in the wrong to them, even if you know that you are so, lest
+they should lose confidence in their elders.
+
+Now, if the professor had said to Ellie, "Yes, my darling, it is a
+water-baby, and a very wonderful thing it is; and it shows how little I
+know of the wonders of nature, in spite of forty years' honest labour. I
+was just telling you that there could be no such creatures; and,
+behold! here is one come to confound my conceit and show me that Nature
+can do, and has done, beyond all that man's poor fancy can imagine. So,
+let us thank the Maker, and Inspirer, and Lord of Nature for all His
+wonderful and glorious works, and try and find out something about this
+one";--I think that, if the professor had said that, little Ellie would
+have believed him more firmly, and respected him more deeply, and loved
+him better, than ever she had done before. But he was of a different
+opinion. He hesitated a moment. He longed to keep Tom, and yet he half
+wished he never had caught him; and at last he quite longed to get rid
+of him. So he turned away and poked Tom with his finger, for want of
+anything better to do; and said carelessly, "My dear little maid, you
+must have dreamt of water-babies last night, your head is so full of
+them."
+
+Now Tom had been in the most horrible and unspeakable fright all the
+while; and had kept as quiet as he could, though he was called a
+Holothurian and a Cephalopod; for it was fixed in his little head that
+if a man with clothes on caught him, he might put clothes on him too,
+and make a dirty black chimney-sweep of him again. But, when the
+professor poked him, it was more than he could bear; and, between fright
+and rage, he turned to bay as valiantly as a mouse in a corner, and bit
+the professor's finger till it bled.
+
+"Oh! ah! yah!" cried he; and glad of an excuse to be rid of Tom, dropped
+him on to the seaweed, and thence he dived into the water and was gone
+in a moment.
+
+[Illustration: "The fairies came flying in at the window and brought her
+such a pretty pair of wings."--_P. 126._]
+
+"But it was a water-baby, and I heard it speak!" cried Ellie. "Ah, it is
+gone!" And she jumped down off the rock to try and catch Tom before he
+slipped into the sea.
+
+Too late! and what was worse, as she sprang down, she slipped, and fell
+some six feet, with her head on a sharp rock, and lay quite still.
+
+The professor picked her up, and tried to waken her, and called to her,
+and cried over her, for he loved her very much: but she would not waken
+at all. So he took her up in his arms and carried her to her governess,
+and they all went home; and little Ellie was put to bed, and lay there
+quite still; only now and then she woke up and called out about the
+water-baby: but no one knew what she meant, and the professor did not
+tell, for he was ashamed to tell.
+
+And, after a week, one moonlight night, the fairies came flying in at
+the window and brought her such a pretty pair of wings that she could
+not help putting them on; and she flew with them out of the window, and
+over the land, and over the sea, and up through the clouds, and nobody
+heard or saw anything of her for a very long while.
+
+And this is why they say that no one has ever yet seen a water-baby. For
+my part, I believe that the naturalists get dozens of them when they are
+out dredging; but they say nothing about them, and throw them overboard
+again, for fear of spoiling their theories. But, you see the
+professor was found out, as every one is in due time. A very terrible
+old fairy found the professor out; she felt his bumps, and cast his
+nativity, and took the lunars of him carefully inside and out; and so
+she knew what he would do as well as if she had seen it in a print book,
+as they say in the dear old west country; and he did it; and so he was
+found out beforehand, as everybody always is; and the old fairy will
+find out the naturalists some day, and put them in the _Times_, and then
+on whose side will the laugh be?
+
+So the old fairy took him in hand very severely there and then. But she
+says she is always most severe with the best people, because there is
+most chance of curing them, and therefore they are the patients who pay
+her best; for she has to work on the same salary as the Emperor of
+China's physicians (it is a pity that all do not), no cure, no pay.
+
+So she took the poor professor in hand: and because he was not content
+with things as they are, she filled his head with things as they are
+not, to try if he would like them better; and because he did not choose
+to believe in a water-baby when he saw it, she made him believe in worse
+things than water-babies--in _unicorns_, _fire-drakes_, _manticoras_,
+_basilisks_, _amphisbænas_, _griffins_, _ph[oe]nixes_, _rocs_, _orcs_,
+_dog-headed men_, _three-headed dogs_, _three-bodied geryons_, and other
+pleasant creatures, which folks think never existed yet, and which folks
+hope never will exist, though they know nothing about the matter, and
+never will; and these creatures so upset, terrified, flustered,
+aggravated, confused, astounded, horrified, and totally flabbergasted
+the poor professor that the doctors said that he was out of his wits for
+three months; and perhaps they were right, as they are now and then.
+
+So all the doctors in the county were called in to make a report on his
+case; and of course every one of them flatly contradicted the other:
+else what use is there in being men of science? But at last the majority
+agreed on a report in the true medical language, one half bad Latin, the
+other half worse Greek, and the rest what might have been English, if
+they had only learnt to write it. And this is the beginning thereof--
+
+"_The subanhypaposupernal anastomoses of peritomic diacellurite in the
+encephalo digital region of the distinguished individual of whose
+symptomatic ph[oe]nomena we had the melancholy honour (subsequently to a
+preliminary diagnostic inspection) of making an inspectorial diagnosis,
+presenting the interexclusively quadrilateral and antinomian diathesis
+known as Bumpsterhausen's blue follicles, we proceeded_"--
+
+But what they proceeded to do My Lady never knew; for she was so
+frightened at the long words that she ran for her life, and locked
+herself into her bedroom, for fear of being squashed by the words and
+strangled by the sentence. A boa constrictor, she said, was bad company
+enough: but what was a boa constrictor made of paving stones?
+
+"It was quite shocking! What can they think is the matter with him?"
+said she to the old nurse.
+
+"That his wit's just addled; may be wi' unbelief and heathenry," quoth
+she.
+
+"Then why can't they say so?"
+
+And the heaven, and the sea, and the rocks, and the vales
+re-echoed--"Why indeed?" But the doctors never heard them.
+
+So she made Sir John write to the _Times_ to command the Chancellor of
+the Exchequer for the time being to put a tax on long words;--
+
+A light tax on words over three syllables, which are necessary evils,
+like rats: but, like them, must be kept down judiciously.
+
+A heavy tax on words over four syllables, as _heterodoxy_,
+_spontaneity_, _spiritualism_, _spuriosity_, _etc._
+
+And on words over five syllables (of which I hope no one will wish to
+see any examples), a totally prohibitory tax.
+
+And a similar prohibitory tax on words derived from three or more
+languages at once; words derived from two languages having become so
+common that there was no more hope of rooting out them than of rooting
+out peth-winds.
+
+The Chancellor of the Exchequer, being a scholar and a man of sense,
+jumped at the notion; for he saw in it the one and only plan for
+abolishing Schedule D: but when he brought in his bill, most of the
+Irish members, and (I am sorry to say) some of the Scotch likewise,
+opposed it most strongly, on the ground that in a free country no man
+was bound either to understand himself or to let others understand him.
+So the bill fell through on the first reading; and the Chancellor,
+being a philosopher, comforted himself with the thought that it was not
+the first time that a woman had hit off a grand idea and the men turned
+up their stupid noses thereat.
+
+Now the doctors had it all their own way; and to work they went in
+earnest, and they gave the poor professor divers and sundry medicines,
+as prescribed by the ancients and moderns, from Hippocrates to
+Feuchtersleben, as below, viz.--
+
+  1. _Hellebore, to wit_--
+         _Hellebore of Æta._
+         _Hellebore of Galatia._
+         _Hellebore of Sicily._
+         _And all other Hellebores, after the method of the
+            Helleborising Helleborists of the Helleboric era.
+            But that would not do. Bumpsterhausen's blue follicles
+            would not stir an inch out of his encephalo digital
+            region._
+
+  2. _Trying to find out what was the matter with him, after the
+        method of_
+       _Hippocrates_,
+       _Aretæus_,
+       _Celsus_,
+       _C[oe]lius Aurelianus_,
+       _And Galen_.
+
+But they found that a great deal too much trouble, as most people have
+since; and so had recourse to--
+
+  3. _Borage._
+     _Cauteries._
+
+Boring a hole in his head to let out fumes, which (says Gordonius)
+"will, without doubt, do much good." But it didn't.
+
+   _Bezoar stone._
+   _Diamargaritum._
+   _A ram's brain boiled in spice._
+   _Oil of wormwood._
+   _Water of Nile._
+   _Capers._
+   _Good wine (but there was none to be got)._
+   _The water of a smith's forge._
+   _Hops._
+   _Ambergris._
+   _Mandrake pillows._
+   _Dormouse fat._
+   _Hares' ears._
+   _Starvation._
+   _Camphor._
+   _Salts and senna._
+   _Musk._
+   _Opium._
+   _Strait-waistcoats._
+   _Bullyings._
+   _Bumpings._
+   _Blisterings._
+   _Bleedings._
+   _Bucketings with cold water._
+   _Knockings down._
+   _Kneeling on his chest till they broke it in,
+      etc. etc.; after the mediæval or monkish
+      method: but that would not do. Bumpsterhausen's
+      blue follicles stuck there still._
+
+Then--
+
+  4. _Coaxing._
+     _Kissing._
+     _Champagne and turtle._
+     _Red herrings and soda water._
+     _Good advice._
+     _Gardening._
+     _Croquet._
+     _Musical soirées._
+     _Aunt Sally._
+     _Mild tobacco._
+     _The Saturday Review._
+     _A carriage with outriders, etc. etc._
+
+After the modern method. But that would not do.
+
+And if he had but been a convict lunatic, and had shot at the Queen,
+killed all his creditors to avoid paying them, or indulged in any other
+little amiable eccentricity of that kind, they would have given him in
+addition--
+
+The healthiest situation in England, on Easthampstead Plain.
+
+Free run of Windsor Forest.
+
+The _Times_ every morning.
+
+A double-barrelled gun and pointers, and leave to shoot three Wellington
+College boys a week (not more) in case black game was scarce.
+
+But as he was neither mad enough nor bad enough to be allowed such
+luxuries, they grew desperate, and fell into bad ways, viz.--
+
+  5. _Suffumigations of sulphur._
+     _Herrwiggius his "Incomparable drink for madmen"_:
+
+Only they could not find out what it was.
+
+    _Suffumigation of the liver of the fish * * *_
+
+Only they had forgotten its name, so Dr. Gray could not well procure
+them a specimen.
+
+    _Metallic tractors._
+    _Holloway's Ointment._
+    _Electro-biology._
+    _Valentine Greatrakes his Stroking Cure._
+    _Spirit-rapping._
+    _Holloway's Pills._
+    _Table-turning._
+    _Morison's Pills._
+    _Hom[oe]opathy._
+    _Parr's Life Pills._
+    _Mesmerism._
+    _Pure Bosh._
+    _Exorcisms, for which they read Maleus Maleficarum, Nideri
+       Formicarium, Delrio, Wierus, etc._
+
+But could not get one that mentioned water-babies.
+
+    _Hydropathy._
+    _Madame Rachel's Elixir of Youth._
+    _The Poughkeepsie Seer his Prophecies._
+    _The distilled liquor of addle eggs._
+    _Pyropathy._
+
+As successfully employed by the old inquisitors to cure the malady of
+thought, and now by the Persian Mollahs to cure that of rheumatism.
+
+    _Geopathy, or burying him._
+    _Atmopathy, or steaming him._
+    _Sympathy, after the method of Basil Valentine his Triumph
+        of Antimony, and Kenelm Digby his Weapon-salve, which some
+        call a hair of the dog that bit him._
+    _Hermopathy, or pouring mercury down his throat to move the
+        animal spirits._
+    _Meteoropathy, or going up to the moon to look for his lost
+        wits, as Ruggiero did for Orlando Furioso's: only, having
+        no hippogriff, they were forced to use a balloon; and,
+        falling into the North Sea, were picked up by a Yarmouth
+        herring-boat, and came home much the wiser, and all over
+        scales._
+    _Antipathy, or using him like "a man and a brother."_
+    _Apathy, or doing nothing at all._
+    _With all other ipathies and opathies which Noodle has invented,
+        and Foodle tried, since black-fellows chipped flints at
+        Abbéville--which is a considerable time ago, to judge by
+        the Great Exhibition._
+
+But nothing would do; for he screamed and cried all day for a
+water-baby, to come and drive away the monsters; and of course they did
+not try to find one, because they did not believe in them, and were
+thinking of nothing but Bumpsterhausen's blue follicles; having, as
+usual, set the cart before the horse, and taken the effect for the
+cause.
+
+So they were forced at last to let the poor professor ease his mind by
+writing a great book, exactly contrary to all his old opinions; in which
+he proved that the moon was made of green cheese, and that all the mites
+in it (which you may see sometimes quite plain through a telescope, if
+you will only keep the lens dirty enough, as Mr. Weekes kept his voltaic
+battery) are nothing in the world but little babies, who are hatching
+and swarming up there in millions, ready to come down into this world
+whenever children want a new little brother or sister.
+
+Which must be a mistake, for this one reason: that, there being no
+atmosphere round the moon (though some one or other says there is, at
+least on the other side, and that he has been round at the back of it to
+see, and found that the moon was just the shape of a Bath bun, and so
+wet that the man in the moon went about on Midsummer-day in Macintoshes
+and Cording's boots, spearing eels and sneezing); that, therefore, I
+say, there being no atmosphere, there can be no evaporation; and
+therefore, the dew-point can never fall below 71.5° below zero of
+Fahrenheit: and, therefore, it cannot be cold enough there about four
+o'clock in the morning to condense the babies' mesenteric apophthegms
+into their left ventricles; and, therefore, they can never catch the
+hooping-cough; and if they do not have hooping-cough, they cannot be
+babies at all; and, therefore, there are no babies in the moon.--Q.E.D.
+
+Which may seem a roundabout reason; and so, perhaps, it is: but you will
+have heard worse ones in your time, and from better men than you are.
+
+But one thing is certain; that, when the good old doctor got his book
+written, he felt considerably relieved from Bumpsterhausen's blue
+follicles, and a few things infinitely worse; to wit, from pride and
+vain-glory, and from blindness and hardness of heart; which are the true
+causes of Bumpsterhausen's blue follicles, and of a good many other ugly
+things besides. Whereon the foul flood-water in his brains ran down, and
+cleared to a fine coffee colour, such as fish like to rise in, till very
+fine clean fresh-run fish did begin to rise in his brains; and he caught
+two or three of them (which is exceedingly fine sport, for brain
+rivers), and anatomised them carefully, and never mentioned what he
+found out from them, except to little children; and became ever after a
+sadder and a wiser man; which is a very good thing to become, my dear
+little boy, even though one has to pay a heavy price for the blessing.
+
+        "Stern Lawgiver! yet thou dost wear
+         The Godhead's most benignant grace;
+         Nor know we anything so fair
+         As is the smile upon thy face:
+         Flowers laugh before thee on their beds
+         And fragrance in thy footing treads;
+         Thou dost preserve the stars from wrong;
+  And the most ancient heavens, through Thee, are fresh and strong."
+
+                                 WORDSWORTH, _Ode to Duty_.
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER V
+
+
+BUT what became of little Tom?
+
+He slipped away off the rocks into the water, as I said before. But he
+could not help thinking of little Ellie. He did not remember who she
+was; but he knew that she was a little girl, though she was a hundred
+times as big as he. That is not surprising: size has nothing to do with
+kindred. A tiny weed may be first cousin to a great tree; and a little
+dog like Vick knows that Lioness is a dog too, though she is twenty
+times larger than herself. So Tom knew that Ellie was a little girl, and
+thought about her all that day, and longed to have had her to play with;
+but he had very soon to think of something else. And here is the account
+of what happened to him, as it was published next morning in the
+Waterproof Gazette, on the finest watered paper, for the use of the
+great fairy, Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid, who reads the news very carefully
+every morning, and especially the police cases, as you will hear very
+soon.
+
+He was going along the rocks in three-fathom water, watching the pollock
+catch prawns, and the wrasses nibble barnacles off the rocks, shells and
+all, when he saw a round cage of green withes; and inside it, looking
+very much ashamed of himself, sat his friend the lobster, twiddling his
+horns, instead of thumbs.
+
+"What, have you been naughty, and have they put you in the lock-up?"
+asked Tom.
+
+The lobster felt a little indignant at such a notion, but he was too
+much depressed in spirits to argue; so he only said, "I can't get out."
+
+"Why did you get in?"
+
+"After that nasty piece of dead fish." He had thought it looked and
+smelt very nice when he was outside, and so it did, for a lobster: but
+now he turned round and abused it because he was angry with himself.
+
+"Where did you get in?"
+
+"Through that round hole at the top."
+
+"Then why don't you get out through it?"
+
+"Because I can't": and the lobster twiddled his horns more fiercely than
+ever, but he was forced to confess.
+
+"I have jumped upwards, downwards, backwards, and sideways, at least
+four thousand times; and I can't get out: I always get up underneath
+there, and can't find the hole."
+
+Tom looked at the trap, and having more wit than the lobster, he saw
+plainly enough what was the matter; as you may if you will look at a
+lobster-pot.
+
+"Stop a bit," said Tom. "Turn your tail up to me, and I'll pull you
+through hindforemost, and then you won't stick in the spikes."
+
+But the lobster was so stupid and clumsy that he couldn't hit the hole.
+Like a great many fox-hunters, he was very sharp as long as he was in
+his own country; but as soon as they get out of it they lose their
+heads; and so the lobster, so to speak, lost his tail.
+
+Tom reached and clawed down the hole after him, till he caught hold of
+him; and then, as was to be expected, the clumsy lobster pulled him in
+head foremost.
+
+"Hullo! here is a pretty business," said Tom. "Now take your great
+claws, and break the points off those spikes, and then we shall both get
+out easily."
+
+"Dear me, I never thought of that," said the lobster; "and after all the
+experience of life that I have had!"
+
+You see, experience is of very little good unless a man, or a lobster,
+has wit enough to make use of it. For a good many people, like old
+Polonius, have seen all the world, and yet remain little better than
+children after all.
+
+But they had not got half the spikes away when they saw a great dark
+cloud over them: and lo, and behold, it was the otter.
+
+How she did grin and grin when she saw Tom. "Yar!" said she, "you little
+meddlesome wretch, I have you now! I will serve you out for telling the
+salmon where I was!" And she crawled all over the pot to get in.
+
+Tom was horribly frightened, and still more frightened when she found
+the hole in the top, and squeezed herself right down through it, all
+eyes and teeth. But no sooner was her head inside than valiant Mr.
+Lobster caught her by the nose and held on.
+
+And there they were all three in the pot, rolling over and over, and
+very tight packing it was. And the lobster tore at the otter, and the
+otter tore at the lobster, and both squeezed and thumped poor Tom till
+he had no breath left in his body; and I don't know what would have
+happened to him if he had not at last got on the otter's back, and safe
+out of the hole.
+
+He was right glad when he got out: but he would not desert his friend
+who had saved him; and the first time he saw his tail uppermost he
+caught hold of it, and pulled with all his might.
+
+But the lobster would not let go.
+
+"Come along," said Tom; "don't you see she is dead?" And so she was,
+quite drowned and dead.
+
+And that was the end of the wicked otter.
+
+But the lobster would not let go.
+
+"Come along, you stupid old stick-in-the-mud," cried Tom, "or the
+fisherman will catch you!" And that was true, for Tom felt some one
+above beginning to haul up the pot.
+
+But the lobster would not let go.
+
+Tom saw the fisherman haul him up to the boat-side, and thought it was
+all up with him. But when Mr. Lobster saw the fisherman, he gave such a
+furious and tremendous snap, that he snapped out of his hand, and out of
+the pot, and safe into the sea. But he left his knobbed claw behind
+him; for it never came into his stupid head to let go after all, so he
+just shook his claw off as the easier method. It was something of a
+bull, that; but you must know the lobster was an Irish lobster, and was
+hatched off Island Magee at the mouth of Belfast Lough.
+
+Tom asked the lobster why he never thought of letting go. He said very
+determinedly that it was a point of honour among lobsters. And so it is,
+as the Mayor of Plymouth found out once to his cost--eight or nine
+hundred years ago, of course; for if it had happened lately it would be
+personal to mention it.
+
+For one day he was so tired with sitting on a hard chair, in a grand
+furred gown, with a gold chain round his neck, hearing one policeman
+after another come in and sing, "What shall we do with the drunken
+sailor, so early in the morning?" and answering them each exactly alike:
+
+"Put him in the round house till he gets sober, so early in the
+morning"--
+
+That, when it was over, he jumped up, and played leap-frog with the
+town-clerk till he burst his buttons, and then had his luncheon, and
+burst some more buttons, and then said: "It is a low spring-tide; I
+shall go out this afternoon and cut my capers."
+
+Now he did not mean to cut such capers as you eat with boiled mutton. It
+was the commandant of artillery at Valetta who used to amuse himself
+with cutting them, and who stuck upon one of the bastions a notice, "No
+one allowed to cut capers here but me," which greatly edified the
+midshipmen in port, and the Maltese on the Nix Mangiare stairs. But all
+that the mayor meant was that he would go and have an afternoon's fun,
+like any schoolboy, and catch lobsters with an iron hook.
+
+So to the Mewstone he went, and for lobsters he looked. And when he came
+to a certain crack in the rocks he was so excited that, instead of
+putting in his hook, he put in his hand; and Mr. Lobster was at home,
+and caught him by the finger, and held on.
+
+"Yah!" said the mayor, and pulled as hard as he dared: but the more he
+pulled, the more the lobster pinched, till he was forced to be quiet.
+
+Then he tried to get his hook in with his other hand; but the hole was
+too narrow.
+
+Then he pulled again; but he could not stand the pain.
+
+Then he shouted and bawled for help: but there was no one nearer him
+than the men-of-war inside the breakwater.
+
+Then he began to turn a little pale; for the tide flowed, and still the
+lobster held on.
+
+Then he turned quite white; for the tide was up to his knees, and still
+the lobster held on.
+
+Then he thought of cutting off his finger; but he wanted two things to
+do it with--courage and a knife; and he had got neither.
+
+Then he turned quite yellow; for the tide was up to his waist, and still
+the lobster held on.
+
+Then he thought over all the naughty things he ever had done; all the
+sand which he had put in the sugar, and the sloe-leaves in the tea, and
+the water in the treacle, and the salt in the tobacco (because his
+brother was a brewer, and a man must help his own kin).
+
+Then he turned quite blue; for the tide was up to his breast, and still
+the lobster held on.
+
+Then, I have no doubt, he repented fully of all the said naughty things
+which he had done, and promised to mend his life, as too many do when
+they think they have no life left to mend. Whereby, as they fancy, they
+make a very cheap bargain. But the old fairy with the birch rod soon
+undeceives them.
+
+And then he grew all colours at once, and turned up his eyes like a duck
+in thunder; for the water was up to his chin, and still the lobster held
+on.
+
+And then came a man-of-war's boat round the Mewstone, and saw his head
+sticking up out of the water. One said it was a keg of brandy, and
+another that it was a cocoa-nut, and another that it was a buoy loose,
+and another that it was a black diver, and wanted to fire at it, which
+would not have been pleasant for the mayor: but just then such a yell
+came out of a great hole in the middle of it that the midshipman in
+charge guessed what it was, and bade pull up to it as fast as they
+could. So somehow or other the Jack-tars got the lobster out, and set
+the mayor free, and put him ashore at the Barbican. He never went
+lobster-catching again; and we will hope he put no more salt in the
+tobacco, not even to sell his brother's beer.
+
+[Illustration: "A real live water-baby sitting on the white sand."--_P.
+146_.]
+
+And that is the story of the Mayor of Plymouth, which has two
+advantages--first, that of being quite true; and second, that of having
+(as folks say all good stories ought to have) no moral whatsoever: no
+more, indeed, has any part of this book, because it is a fairy tale, you
+know.
+
+And now happened to Tom a most wonderful thing; for he had not left the
+lobster five minutes before he came upon a water-baby.
+
+A real live water-baby, sitting on the white sand, very busy about a
+little point of rock. And when it saw Tom it looked up for a moment, and
+then cried, "Why, you are not one of us. You are a new baby! Oh, how
+delightful!"
+
+And it ran to Tom, and Tom ran to it, and they hugged and kissed each
+other for ever so long, they did not know why. But they did not want any
+introductions there under the water.
+
+At last Tom said, "Oh, where have you been all this while? I have been
+looking for you so long, and I have been so lonely."
+
+"We have been here for days and days. There are hundreds of us about the
+rocks. How was it you did not see us, or hear us when we sing and romp
+every evening before we go home?"
+
+Tom looked at the baby again, and then he said:
+
+"Well, this is wonderful! I have seen things just like you again and
+again, but I thought you were shells, or sea-creatures. I never took you
+for water-babies like myself."
+
+Now, was not that very odd? So odd, indeed, that you will, no doubt,
+want to know how it happened, and why Tom could never find a water-baby
+till after he had got the lobster out of the pot. And, if you will read
+this story nine times over, and then think for yourself, you will find
+out why. It is not good for little boys to be told everything, and never
+to be forced to use their own wits. They would learn, then, no more than
+they do at Dr. Dulcimer's famous suburban establishment for the idler
+members of the youthful aristocracy, where the masters learn the lessons
+and the boys hear them--which saves a great deal of trouble--for the
+time being.
+
+"Now," said the baby, "come and help me, or I shall not have finished
+before my brothers and sisters come, and it is time to go home."
+
+"What shall I help you at?"
+
+"At this poor dear little rock; a great clumsy boulder came rolling by
+in the last storm, and knocked all its head off, and rubbed off all its
+flowers. And now I must plant it again with seaweeds, and coralline, and
+anemones, and I will make it the prettiest little rock-garden on all the
+shore."
+
+So they worked away at the rock, and planted it, and smoothed the sand
+down round it, and capital fun they had till the tide began to turn. And
+then Tom heard all the other babies coming, laughing and singing and
+shouting and romping; and the noise they made was just like the noise of
+the ripple. So he knew that he had been hearing and seeing the
+water-babies all along; only he did not know them, because his eyes and
+ears were not opened.
+
+And in they came, dozens and dozens of them, some bigger than Tom and
+some smaller, all in the neatest little white bathing dresses; and when
+they found that he was a new baby, they hugged him and kissed him, and
+then put him in the middle and danced round him on the sand, and there
+was no one ever so happy as poor little Tom.
+
+"Now then," they cried all at once, "we must come away home, we must
+come away home, or the tide will leave us dry. We have mended all the
+broken seaweed, and put all the rock-pools in order, and planted all the
+shells again in the sand, and nobody will see where the ugly storm swept
+in last week."
+
+And this is the reason why the rock-pools are always so neat and clean;
+because the water-babies come inshore after every storm to sweep them
+out, and comb them down, and put them all to rights again.
+
+Only where men are wasteful and dirty, and let sewers run into the sea
+instead of putting the stuff upon the fields like thrifty reasonable
+souls; or throw herrings' heads and dead dog-fish, or any other refuse,
+into the water; or in any way make a mess upon the clean shore--there
+the water-babies will not come, sometimes not for hundreds of years (for
+they cannot abide anything smelly or foul), but leave the sea-anemones
+and the crabs to clear away everything, till the good tidy sea has
+covered up all the dirt in soft mud and clean sand, where the
+water-babies can plant live cockles and whelks and razor-shells and
+sea-cucumbers and golden-combs, and make a pretty live garden again,
+after man's dirt is cleared away. And that, I suppose, is the reason why
+there are no water-babies at any watering-place which I have ever seen.
+
+And where is the home of the water-babies? In St. Brandan's fairy isle.
+
+Did you never hear of the blessed St. Brandan, how he preached to the
+wild Irish on the wild, wild Kerry coast, he and five other hermits,
+till they were weary and longed to rest? For the wild Irish would not
+listen to them, or come to confession and to mass, but liked better to
+brew potheen, and dance the pater o'pee, and knock each other over the
+head with shillelaghs, and shoot each other from behind turf-dykes, and
+steal each other's cattle, and burn each other's homes; till St. Brandan
+and his friends were weary of them, for they would not learn to be
+peaceable Christians at all.
+
+So St. Brandan went out to the point of Old Dunmore, and looked over the
+tide-way roaring round the Blasquets, at the end of all the world, and
+away into the ocean, and sighed--"Ah that I had wings as a dove!" And
+far away, before the setting sun, he saw a blue fairy sea, and golden
+fairy islands, and he said, "Those are the islands of the blest." Then
+he and his friends got into a hooker, and sailed away and away to the
+westward, and were never heard of more. But the people who would not
+hear him were changed into gorillas, and gorillas they are until this
+day.
+
+And when St. Brandan and the hermits came to that fairy isle they found
+it overgrown with cedars and full of beautiful birds; and he sat down
+under the cedars and preached to all the birds in the air. And they
+liked his sermons so well that they told the fishes in the sea; and they
+came, and St. Brandan preached to them; and the fishes told the
+water-babies, who live in the caves under the isle; and they came up by
+hundreds every Sunday, and St. Brandan got quite a neat little
+Sunday-school. And there he taught the water-babies for a great many
+hundred years, till his eyes grew too dim to see, and his beard grew so
+long that he dared not walk for fear of treading on it, and then he
+might have tumbled down. And at last he and the five hermits fell fast
+asleep under the cedar-shades, and there they sleep unto this day. But
+the fairies took to the water-babies, and taught them their lessons
+themselves.
+
+And some say that St. Brandan will awake and begin to teach the babies
+once more: but some think that he will sleep on, for better for worse,
+till the coming of the Cocqcigrues. But, on still clear summer evenings,
+when the sun sinks down into the sea, among golden cloud-capes and
+cloud-islands, and locks and friths of azure sky, the sailors fancy that
+they see, away to westward, St. Brandan's fairy isle.
+
+[Illustration: "Tom found that the isle stood all on pillars, and that
+its roots were full of caves."--_P. 151_.]
+
+But whether men can see it or not, St. Brandan's Isle once actually
+stood there; a great land out in the ocean, which has sunk and sunk
+beneath the waves. Old Plato called it Atlantis, and told strange
+tales of the wise men who lived therein, and of the wars they fought in
+the old times. And from off that island came strange flowers, which
+linger still about this land:--the Cornish heath, and Cornish moneywort,
+and the delicate Venus's hair, and the London-pride which covers the
+Kerry mountains, and the little pink butterwort of Devon, and the great
+blue butterwort of Ireland, and the Connemara heath, and the
+bristle-fern of the Turk waterfall, and many a strange plant more; all
+fairy tokens left for wise men and good children from off St. Brandan's
+Isle.
+
+Now when Tom got there, he found that the isle stood all on pillars, and
+that its roots were full of caves. There were pillars of black basalt,
+like Staffa; and pillars of green and crimson serpentine, like Kynance;
+and pillars ribboned with red and white and yellow sandstone, like
+Livermead; and there were blue grottoes like Capri, and white grottoes
+like Adelsberg; all curtained and draped with seaweeds, purple and
+crimson, green and brown; and strewn with soft white sand, on which the
+water-babies sleep every night. But, to keep the place clean and sweet,
+the crabs picked up all the scraps off the floor and ate them like so
+many monkeys; while the rocks were covered with ten thousand
+sea-anemones, and corals and madrepores, who scavenged the water all day
+long, and kept it nice and pure. But, to make up to them for having to
+do such nasty work, they were not left black and dirty, as poor
+chimney-sweeps and dustmen are. No; the fairies are more considerate and
+just than that, and have dressed them all in the most beautiful colours
+and patterns, till they look like vast flower-beds of gay blossoms. If
+you think I am talking nonsense, I can only say that it is true; and
+that an old gentleman named Fourier used to say that we ought to do the
+same by chimney-sweeps and dustmen, and honour them instead of despising
+them; and he was a very clever old gentleman: but, unfortunately for him
+and the world, as mad as a March hare.
+
+And, instead of watchmen and policemen to keep out nasty things at
+night, there were thousands and thousands of water-snakes, and most
+wonderful creatures they were. They were all named after the Nereids,
+the sea-fairies who took care of them, Eunice and Polynoe, Phyllodoce
+and Psamathe, and all the rest of the pretty darlings who swim round
+their Queen Amphitrite, and her car of cameo shell. They were dressed in
+green velvet, and black velvet, and purple velvet; and were all jointed
+in rings; and some of them had three hundred brains apiece, so that they
+must have been uncommonly shrewd detectives; and some had eyes in their
+tails; and some had eyes in every joint, so that they kept a very sharp
+look-out; and when they wanted a baby-snake, they just grew one at the
+end of their own tails, and when it was able to take care of itself it
+dropped off; so that they brought up their families very cheaply. But if
+any nasty thing came by, out they rushed upon it; and then out of each
+of their hundreds of feet there sprang a whole cutler's shop of
+
+          _Scythes_,           _Javelins_,
+          _Billhooks_,         _Lances_,
+          _Pickaxes_,          _Halberts_,
+          _Forks_,             _Gisarines_,
+          _Penknives_,         _Poleaxes_,
+          _Rapiers_,           _Fishhooks_,
+          _Sabres_,            _Bradawls_,
+          _Yataghans_,         _Gimblets_,
+          _Creeses_,           _Corkscrews_,
+          _Ghoorka swords_,    _Pins_,
+          _Tucks_,             _Needles_,
+                    _And so forth_,
+
+which stabbed, shot, poked, pricked, scratched, ripped, pinked, and
+crimped those naughty beasts so terribly that they had to run for their
+lives, or else be chopped into small pieces and be eaten afterwards.
+And, if that is not all, every word, true, then there is no faith in
+microscopes, and all is over with the Linnæan Society.
+
+And there were the water-babies in thousands, more than Tom, or you
+either, could count.--All the little children whom the good fairies take
+to, because their cruel mothers and fathers will not; all who are
+untaught and brought up heathens, and all who come to grief by ill-usage
+or ignorance or neglect; all the little children who are overlaid, or
+given gin when they are young, or are let to drink out of hot kettles,
+or to fall into the fire; all the little children in alleys and courts,
+and tumble-down cottages, who die by fever, and cholera, and measles,
+and scarlatina, and nasty complaints which no one has any business to
+have, and which no one will have some day, when folks have common sense;
+and all the little children who have been killed by cruel masters and
+wicked soldiers; they were all there, except, of course, the babes of
+Bethlehem who were killed by wicked King Herod; for they were taken
+straight to heaven long ago, as everybody knows, and we call them the
+Holy Innocents.
+
+But I wish Tom had given up all his naughty tricks, and left off
+tormenting dumb animals now that he had plenty of playfellows to amuse
+him. Instead of that, I am sorry to say, he would meddle with the
+creatures, all but the water-snakes, for they would stand no nonsense.
+So he tickled the madrepores, to make them shut up; and frightened the
+crabs, to make them hide in the sand and peep out at him with the tips
+of their eyes; and put stones into the anemones' mouths, to make them
+fancy that their dinner was coming.
+
+The other children warned him, and said, "Take care what you are at.
+Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid is coming." But Tom never heeded them, being quite
+riotous with high spirits and good luck, till, one Friday morning early,
+Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid came indeed.
+
+A very tremendous lady she was; and when the children saw her they all
+stood in a row, very upright indeed, and smoothed down their bathing
+dresses, and put their hands behind them, just as if they were going to
+be examined by the inspector.
+
+And she had on a black bonnet, and a black shawl, and no crinoline at
+all; and a pair of large green spectacles, and a great hooked nose,
+hooked so much that the bridge of it stood quite up above her eyebrows;
+and under her arm she carried a great birch-rod. Indeed, she was so ugly
+that Tom was tempted to make faces at her: but did not; for he did not
+admire the look of the birch-rod under her arm.
+
+And she looked at the children one by one, and seemed very much
+pleased with them, though she never asked them one question about
+how they were behaving; and then began giving them all sorts of nice
+sea-things--sea-cakes, sea-apples, sea-oranges, sea-bullseyes,
+sea-toffee; and to the very best of all she gave sea-ices, made out of
+sea-cows' cream, which never melt under water.
+
+And, if you don't quite believe me, then just think--What is more cheap
+and plentiful than sea-rock? Then why should there not be sea-toffee as
+well? And every one can find sea-lemons (ready quartered too) if they
+will look for them at low tide; and sea-grapes too sometimes, hanging in
+bunches; and, if you will go to Nice, you will find the fish-market full
+of sea-fruit, which they call "frutta di mare": though I suppose they
+call them "fruits de mer" now, out of compliment to that most
+successful, and therefore most immaculate, potentate who is seemingly
+desirous of inheriting the blessing pronounced on those who remove their
+neighbours' land-mark. And, perhaps, that is the very reason why the
+place is called Nice, because there are so many nice things in the sea
+there: at least, if it is not, it ought to be.
+
+Now little Tom watched all these sweet things given away, till his mouth
+watered, and his eyes grew as round as an owl's. For he hoped that his
+turn would come at last; and so it did. For the lady called him up, and
+held out her fingers with something in them, and popped it into his
+mouth; and, lo and behold, it was a nasty cold hard pebble.
+
+"You are a very cruel woman," said he, and began to whimper.
+
+"And you are a very cruel boy; who puts pebbles into the sea-anemones'
+mouths, to take them in, and make them fancy that they had caught a good
+dinner! As you did to them, so I must do to you."
+
+"Who told you that?" said Tom.
+
+"You did yourself, this very minute."
+
+Tom had never opened his lips; so he was very much taken aback indeed.
+
+"Yes; every one tells me exactly what they have done wrong; and that
+without knowing it themselves. So there is no use trying to hide
+anything from me. Now go, and be a good boy, and I will put no more
+pebbles in your mouth, if you put none in other creatures'."
+
+"I did not know there was any harm in it," said Tom.
+
+"Then you know now. People continually say that to me: but I tell them,
+if you don't know that fire burns, that is no reason that it should not
+burn you; and if you don't know that dirt breeds fever, that is no
+reason why the fevers should not kill you. The lobster did not know that
+there was any harm in getting into the lobster-pot; but it caught him
+all the same."
+
+"Dear me," thought Tom, "she knows everything!" And so she did, indeed.
+
+"And so, if you do not know that things are wrong, that is no reason why
+you should not be punished for them; though not as much, not as much, my
+little man" (and the lady looked very kindly, after all), "as if you did
+know."
+
+"Well, you are a little hard on a poor lad," said Tom.
+
+"Not at all; I am the best friend you ever had in all your life. But I
+will tell you; I cannot help punishing people when they do wrong. I like
+it no more than they do; I am often very, very sorry for them, poor
+things: but I cannot help it. If I tried not to do it, I should do it
+all the same. For I work by machinery, just like an engine; and am full
+of wheels and springs inside; and am wound up very carefully, so that I
+cannot help going."
+
+"Was it long ago since they wound you up?" asked Tom. For he thought,
+the cunning little fellow, "She will run down some day: or they may
+forget to wind her up, as old Grimes used to forget to wind up his watch
+when he came in from the public-house; and then I shall be safe."
+
+"I was wound up once and for all, so long ago, that I forget all about
+it."
+
+"Dear me," said Tom, "you must have been made a long time!"
+
+"I never was made, my child; and I shall go for ever and ever; for I am
+as old as Eternity, and yet as young as Time."
+
+And there came over the lady's face a very curious expression--very
+solemn, and very sad; and yet very, very sweet. And she looked up and
+away, as if she were gazing through the sea, and through the sky, at
+something far, far off; and as she did so, there came such a quiet,
+tender, patient, hopeful smile over her face that Tom thought for the
+moment that she did not look ugly at all. And no more she did; for she
+was like a great many people who have not a pretty feature in their
+faces, and yet are lovely to behold, and draw little children's hearts
+to them at once; because though the house is plain enough, yet from the
+windows a beautiful and good spirit is looking forth.
+
+And Tom smiled in her face, she looked so pleasant for the moment. And
+the strange fairy smiled too, and said:
+
+"Yes. You thought me very ugly just now, did you not?"
+
+Tom hung down his head, and got very red about the ears.
+
+"And I am very ugly. I am the ugliest fairy in the world; and I shall
+be, till people behave themselves as they ought to do. And then I shall
+grow as handsome as my sister, who is the loveliest fairy in the world;
+and her name is Mrs. Doasyouwouldbedoneby. So she begins where I end,
+and I begin where she ends; and those who will not listen to her must
+listen to me, as you will see. Now, all of you run away, except Tom; and
+he may stay and see what I am going to do. It will be a very good
+warning for him to begin with, before he goes to school.
+
+"Now, Tom, every Friday I come down here and call up all who have
+ill-used little children and serve them as they served the children."
+
+And at that Tom was frightened, and crept under a stone; which made the
+two crabs who lived there very angry, and frightened their friend the
+butter-fish into flapping hysterics: but he would not move for them.
+
+And first she called up all the doctors who give little children so much
+physic (they were most of them old ones; for the young ones have learnt
+better, all but a few army surgeons, who still fancy that a baby's
+inside is much like a Scotch grenadier's), and she set them all in a
+row; and very rueful they looked; for they knew what was coming.
+
+And first she pulled all their teeth out; and then she bled them all
+round: and then she dosed them with calomel, and jalap, and salts and
+senna, and brimstone and treacle; and horrible faces they made; and then
+she gave them a great emetic of mustard and water, and no basons; and
+began all over again; and that was the way she spent the morning.
+
+And then she called up a whole troop of foolish ladies, who pinch up
+their children's waists and toes; and she laced them all up in tight
+stays, so that they were choked and sick, and their noses grew red, and
+their hands and feet swelled; and then she crammed their poor feet into
+the most dreadfully tight boots, and made them all dance, which they did
+most clumsily indeed; and then she asked them how they liked it; and
+when they said not at all, she let them go: because they had only done
+it out of foolish fashion, fancying it was for their children's good, as
+if wasps' waists and pigs' toes could be pretty, or wholesome, or of any
+use to anybody.
+
+Then she called up all the careless nursery-maids, and stuck pins into
+them all over, and wheeled them about in perambulators with tight straps
+across their stomachs and their heads and arms hanging over the side,
+till they were quite sick and stupid, and would have had sun-strokes:
+but, being under the water, they could only have water-strokes; which, I
+assure you, are nearly as bad, as you will find if you try to sit under
+a mill-wheel. And mind--when you hear a rumbling at the bottom of the
+sea, sailors will tell you that it is a ground-swell: but now you know
+better. It is the old lady wheeling the maids about in perambulators.
+
+And by that time she was so tired, she had to go to luncheon.
+
+And after luncheon she set to work again, and called up all the cruel
+schoolmasters--whole regiments and brigades of them; and when she saw
+them, she frowned most terribly, and set to work in earnest, as if the
+best part of the day's work was to come. More than half of them were
+nasty, dirty, frowzy, grubby, smelly old monks, who, because they dare
+not hit a man of their own size, amused themselves with beating little
+children instead; as you may see in the picture of old Pope Gregory
+(good man and true though he was, when he meddled with things which he
+did understand), teaching children to sing their fa-fa-mi-fa with a
+cat-o'-nine-tails under his chair: but, because they never had any
+children of their own, they took into their heads (as some folks do
+still) that they were the only people in the world who knew how to
+manage children: and they first brought into England, in the old
+Anglo-Saxon times, the fashion of treating free boys, and girls too,
+worse than you would treat a dog or a horse: but Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid
+has caught them all long ago; and given them many a taste of their own
+rods; and much good may it do them.
+
+And she boxed their ears, and thumped them over the head with rulers,
+and pandied their hands with canes, and told them that they told
+stories, and were this and that bad sort of people; and the more they
+were very indignant, and stood upon their honour, and declared they told
+the truth, the more she declared they were not, and that they were only
+telling lies; and at last she birched them all round soundly with her
+great birch-rod and set them each an imposition of three hundred
+thousand lines of Hebrew to learn by heart before she came back next
+Friday. And at that they all cried and howled so, that their breaths
+came all up through the sea like bubbles out of soda-water; and that is
+one reason of the bubbles in the sea. There are others: but that is the
+one which principally concerns little boys. And by that time she was so
+tired that she was glad to stop; and, indeed, she had done a very good
+day's work.
+
+Tom did not quite dislike the old lady: but he could not help thinking
+her a little spiteful--and no wonder if she was, poor old soul; for if
+she has to wait to grow handsome till people do as they would be done
+by, she will have to wait a very long time.
+
+Poor old Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid! she has a great deal of hard work before
+her, and had better have been born a washerwoman, and stood over a tub
+all day: but, you see, people cannot always choose their own profession.
+
+But Tom longed to ask her one question; and after all, whenever she
+looked at him, she did not look cross at all; and now and then there was
+a funny smile in her face, and she chuckled to herself in a way which
+gave Tom courage, and at last he said:
+
+"Pray, ma'am, may I ask you a question?"
+
+"Certainly, my little dear."
+
+"Why don't you bring all the bad masters here and serve them out too?
+The butties that knock about the poor collier-boys; and the nailers that
+file off their lads' noses and hammer their fingers; and all the master
+sweeps, like my master Grimes? I saw him fall into the water long ago;
+so I surely expected he would have been here. I'm sure he was bad enough
+to me."
+
+Then the old lady looked so very stern that Tom was quite frightened,
+and sorry that he had been so bold. But she was not angry with him. She
+only answered, "I look after them all the week round; and they are in a
+very different place from this, because they knew that they were doing
+wrong."
+
+She spoke very quietly; but there was something in her voice which made
+Tom tingle from head to foot, as if he had got into a shoal of
+sea-nettles.
+
+"But these people," she went on, "did not know that they were doing
+wrong: they were only stupid and impatient; and therefore I only punish
+them till they become patient, and learn to use their common sense like
+reasonable beings. But as for chimney-sweeps, and collier-boys, and
+nailer lads, my sister has set good people to stop all that sort of
+thing; and very much obliged to her I am; for if she could only stop the
+cruel masters from ill-using poor children, I should grow handsome at
+least a thousand years sooner. And now do you be a good boy, and do as
+you would be done by, which they did not; and then, when my sister,
+MADAME DOASYOUWOULDBEDONEBY, comes on Sunday, perhaps she will take
+notice of you, and teach you how to behave. She understands that better
+than I do." And so she went.
+
+Tom was very glad to hear that there was no chance of meeting Grimes
+again, though he was a little sorry for him, considering that he used
+sometimes to give him the leavings of the beer: but he determined to be
+a very good boy all Saturday; and he was; for he never frightened one
+crab, nor tickled any live corals, nor put stones into the sea anemones'
+mouths, to make them fancy they had got a dinner; and when Sunday
+morning came, sure enough, MRS. DOASYOUWOULDBEDONEBY came too. Whereat
+all the little children began dancing and clapping their hands, and Tom
+danced too with all his might.
+
+And as for the pretty lady, I cannot tell you what the colour of her
+hair was, or of her eyes: no more could Tom; for, when any one looks at
+her, all they can think of is, that she has the sweetest, kindest,
+tenderest, funniest, merriest face they ever saw, or want to see. But
+Tom saw that she was a very tall woman, as tall as her sister: but
+instead of being gnarly and horny, and scaly, and prickly, like her, she
+was the most nice, soft, fat, smooth, pussy, cuddly, delicious creature
+who ever nursed a baby; and she understood babies thoroughly, for she
+had plenty of her own, whole rows and regiments of them, and has to this
+day. And all her delight was, whenever she had a spare moment, to play
+with babies, in which she showed herself a woman of sense; for babies
+are the best company, and the pleasantest playfellows, in the world; at
+least, so all the wise people in the world think. And therefore when the
+children saw her, they naturally all caught hold of her, and pulled her
+till she sat down on a stone, and climbed into her lap, and clung round
+her neck, and caught hold of her hands; and then they all put their
+thumbs into their mouths, and began cuddling and purring like so many
+kittens, as they ought to have done. While those who could get nowhere
+else sat down on the sand, and cuddled her feet--for no one, you know,
+wear shoes in the water, except horrid old bathing-women, who are afraid
+of the water-babies pinching their horny toes. And Tom stood staring at
+them; for he could not understand what it was all about.
+
+"And who are you, you little darling?" she said.
+
+"Oh, that is the new baby!" they all cried, pulling their thumbs out of
+their mouths; "and he never had any mother," and they all put their
+thumbs back again, for they did not wish to lose any time.
+
+"Then I will be his mother, and he shall have the very best place; so
+get out, all of you, this moment."
+
+And she took up two great armfuls of babies--nine hundred under one arm,
+and thirteen hundred under the other--and threw them away, right and
+left, into the water. But they minded it no more than the naughty boys
+in Struwwelpeter minded when St. Nicholas dipped them in his inkstand;
+and did nor even take their thumbs out of their mouths, but came
+paddling and wriggling back to her like so many tadpoles, till you could
+see nothing of her from head to foot for the swarm of little babies.
+
+But she took Tom in her arms, and laid him in the softest place of all,
+and kissed him, and patted him, and talked to him, tenderly and low,
+such things as he had never heard before in his life; and Tom looked up
+into her eyes, and loved her, and loved, till he fell fast asleep from
+pure love.
+
+And when he woke she was telling the children a story. And what story
+did she tell them? One story she told them, which begins every Christmas
+Eve, and yet never ends at all for ever and ever; and, as she went on,
+the children took their thumbs out of their mouths and listened quite
+seriously; but not sadly at all; for she never told them anything sad;
+and Tom listened too, and never grew tired of listening. And he listened
+so long that he fell fast asleep again, and, when he woke, the lady was
+nursing him still.
+
+"Don't go away," said little Tom. "This is so nice. I never had any one
+to cuddle me before."
+
+"Don't go away," said all the children; "you have not sung us one song."
+
+"Well, I have time for only one. So what shall it be?"
+
+"The doll you lost! The doll you lost!" cried all the babies at once.
+
+So the strange fairy sang:--
+
+          _I once had a sweet little doll, dears,
+             The prettiest doll in the world;
+           Her cheeks were so red and so white, dears,
+             And her hair was so charmingly curled.
+           But I lost my poor little doll, dears,
+             As I played in the heath one day;
+           And I cried for her more than a week, dears,
+            But I never could find where she lay._
+
+          _I found my poor little doll, dears,
+             As I played in the heath one day:
+           Folks say she is terribly changed, dears,
+             For her paint is all washed away,
+           And her arm trodden off by the cows, dears,
+             And her hair not the least bit curled:
+           Yet, for old sakes' sake she is still, dears,
+             The prettiest doll in the world._
+
+What a silly song for a fairy to sing!
+
+And what silly water-babies to be quite delighted at it!
+
+Well, but you see they have not the advantage of Aunt Agitate's
+Arguments in the sea-land down below.
+
+"Now," said the fairy to Tom, "will you be a good boy for my sake, and
+torment no more sea-beasts till I come back?"
+
+"And you will cuddle me again?" said poor little Tom.
+
+"Of course I will, you little duck. I should like to take you with me
+and cuddle you all the way, only I must not"; and away she went.
+
+So Tom really tried to be a good boy, and tormented no sea-beasts after
+that as long as he lived; and he is quite alive, I assure you, still.
+
+Oh, how good little boys ought to be who have kind pussy mammas to
+cuddle them and tell them stories; and how afraid they ought to be of
+growing naughty, and bringing tears into their mammas' pretty eyes!
+
+          "Thou little child, yet glorious in the night
+           Of heaven-born freedom on thy Being's height,
+           Why with such earnest pains dost thou provoke
+           The Years to bring the inevitable yoke--
+           Thus blindly with thy blessedness at strife?
+           Full soon thy soul shall have her earthly freight,
+           And custom lie upon thee with a weight
+           Heavy as frost, and deep almost as life."
+
+                                         WORDSWORTH.
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VI
+
+
+HERE I come to the very saddest part of all my story. I know some people
+will only laugh at it, and call it much ado about nothing. But I know
+one man who would not; and he was an officer with a pair of grey
+moustaches as long as your arm, who said once in company that two of the
+most heart-rending sights in the world, which moved him most to tears,
+which he would do anything to prevent or remedy, were a child over a
+broken toy and a child stealing sweets.
+
+The company did not laugh at him; his moustaches were too long and too
+grey for that: but, after he was gone, they called him sentimental and
+so forth, all but one dear little old Quaker lady with a soul as white
+as her cap, who was not, of course, generally partial to soldiers; and
+she said very quietly, like a Quaker:
+
+"Friends, it is borne upon my mind that that is a truly brave man."
+
+[Illustration: "He crept away among the rocks, and got to the cabinet,
+and behold! it was open."--_P. 172_.]
+
+Now you may fancy that Tom was quite good, when he had everything that
+he could want or wish: but you would be very much mistaken. Being quite
+comfortable is a very good thing; but it does not make people good.
+Indeed, it sometimes makes them naughty, as it has made the people in
+America; and as it made the people in the Bible, who waxed fat and
+kicked, like horses overfed and underworked. And I am very sorry to say
+that this happened to little Tom. For he grew so fond of the
+sea-bullseyes and sea-lollipops that his foolish little head could think
+of nothing else: and he was always longing for more, and wondering when
+the strange lady would come again and give him some, and what she would
+give him, and how much, and whether she would give him more than the
+others. And he thought of nothing but lollipops by day, and dreamt of
+nothing else by night--and what happened then?
+
+That he began to watch the lady to see where she kept the sweet things:
+and began hiding, and sneaking, and following her about, and pretending
+to be looking the other way, or going after something else, till he
+found out that she kept them in a beautiful mother-of-pearl cabinet away
+in a deep crack of the rocks.
+
+And he longed to go to the cabinet, and yet he was afraid; and then he
+longed again, and was less afraid; and at last, by continual thinking
+about it, he longed so violently that he was not afraid at all. And one
+night, when all the other children were asleep, and he could not sleep
+for thinking of lollipops, he crept away among the rocks, and got to the
+cabinet, and behold! it was open.
+
+But, when he saw all the nice things inside, instead of being delighted,
+he was quite frightened, and wished he had never come there. And then
+he would only touch them, and he did; and then he would only taste one,
+and he did; and then he would only eat one, and he did; and then he
+would only eat two, and then three, and so on; and then he was terrified
+lest she should come and catch him, and began gobbling them down so fast
+that he did not taste them, or have any pleasure in them; and then he
+felt sick, and would have only one more; and then only one more again;
+and so on till he had eaten them all up.
+
+And all the while, close behind him, stood Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid.
+
+Some people may say, But why did she not keep her cupboard locked? Well,
+I know.--It may seem a very strange thing, but she never does keep her
+cupboard locked; every one may go and taste for themselves, and fare
+accordingly. It is very odd, but so it is; and I am quite sure that she
+knows best. Perhaps she wishes people to keep their fingers out of the
+fire, by having them burned.
+
+She took off her spectacles, because she did not like to see too much;
+and in her pity she arched up her eyebrows into her very hair, and her
+eyes grew so wide that they would have taken in all the sorrows of the
+world, and filled with great big tears, as they too often do.
+
+But all she said was:
+
+"Ah, you poor little dear! you are just like all the rest."
+
+But she said it to herself, and Tom neither heard nor saw her. Now, you
+must not fancy that she was sentimental at all. If you do, and think
+that she is going to let off you, or me, or any human being when we do
+wrong, because she is too tender-hearted to punish us, then you will
+find yourself very much mistaken, as many a man does every year and
+every day.
+
+But what did the strange fairy do when she saw all her lollipops eaten?
+
+Did she fly at Tom, catch him by the scruff of the neck, hold him, howk
+him, hump him, hurry him, hit him, poke him, pull him, pinch him, pound
+him, put him in the corner, shake him, slap him, set him on a cold stone
+to reconsider himself, and so forth?
+
+Not a bit. You may watch her at work if you know where to find her. But
+you will never see her do that. For, if she had, she knew quite well Tom
+would have fought, and kicked, and bit, and said bad words, and turned
+again that moment into a naughty little heathen chimney-sweep, with his
+hand, like Ishmael's of old, against every man, and every man's hand
+against him.
+
+Did she question him, hurry him, frighten him, threaten him, to make him
+confess? Not a bit. You may see her, as I said, at her work often enough
+if you know where to look for her: but you will never see her do that.
+For, if she had, she would have tempted him to tell lies in his fright;
+and that would have been worse for him, if possible, than even becoming
+a heathen chimney-sweep again.
+
+No. She leaves that for anxious parents and teachers (lazy ones, some
+call them), who, instead of giving children a fair trial, such as they
+would expect and demand for themselves, force them by fright to confess
+their own faults--which is so cruel and unfair that no judge on the
+bench dare do it to the wickedest thief or murderer, for the good
+British law forbids it--ay, and even punish them to make them confess,
+which is so detestable a crime that it is never committed now, save by
+Inquisitors, and Kings of Naples, and a few other wretched people of
+whom the world is weary. And then they say, "We have trained up the
+child in the way he should go, and when he grew up he has departed from
+it. Why then did Solomon say that he would not depart from it?" But
+perhaps the way of beating, and hurrying, and frightening, and
+questioning, was not the way that the child should go; for it is not
+even the way in which a colt should go if you want to break it in and
+make it a quiet serviceable horse.
+
+Some folks may say, "Ah! but the Fairy does not need to do that if she
+knows everything already." True. But, if she did not know, she would not
+surely behave worse than a British judge and jury; and no more should
+parents and teachers either.
+
+So she just said nothing at all about the matter, not even when Tom came
+next day with the rest for sweet things. He was horribly afraid of
+coming: but he was still more afraid of staying away, lest any one
+should suspect him. He was dreadfully afraid, too, lest there should be
+no sweets--as was to be expected, he having eaten them all--and lest
+then the fairy should inquire who had taken them. But, behold! she
+pulled out just as many as ever, which astonished Tom, and frightened
+him still more.
+
+And, when the fairy looked him full in the face, he shook from head to
+foot: however she gave him his share like the rest, and he thought
+within himself that she could not have found him out.
+
+But, when he put the sweets into his mouth, he hated the taste of them;
+and they made him so sick that he had to get away as fast as he could;
+and terribly sick he was, and very cross and unhappy, all the week
+after.
+
+Then, when next week came, he had his share again; and again the fairy
+looked him full in the face; but more sadly than she had ever looked.
+And he could not bear the sweets: but took them again in spite of
+himself.
+
+And when Mrs. Doasyouwouldbedoneby came, he wanted to be cuddled like
+the rest; but she said very seriously:
+
+"I should like to cuddle you; but I cannot, you are so horny and
+prickly."
+
+And Tom looked at himself: and he was all over prickles, just like a
+sea-egg.
+
+Which was quite natural; for you must know and believe that people's
+souls make their bodies just as a snail makes its shell (I am not
+joking, my little man; I am in serious, solemn earnest). And therefore,
+when Tom's soul grew all prickly with naughty tempers, his body could
+not help growing prickly too, so that nobody would cuddle him, or play
+with him, or even like to look at him.
+
+What could Tom do now but go away and hide in a corner and cry? For
+nobody would play with him, and he knew full well why.
+
+And he was so miserable all that week that when the ugly fairy came and
+looked at him once more full in the face, more seriously and sadly than
+ever, he could stand it no longer, and thrust the sweetmeats away,
+saying, "No, I don't want any: I can't bear them now," and then burst
+out crying, poor little man, and told Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid every word
+as it happened.
+
+He was horribly frightened when he had done so; for he expected her to
+punish him very severely. But, instead, she only took him up and kissed
+him, which was not quite pleasant, for her chin was very bristly indeed;
+but he was so lonely-hearted, he thought that rough kissing was better
+than none.
+
+"I will forgive you, little man," she said. "I always forgive every one
+the moment they tell me the truth of their own accord."
+
+"Then you will take away all these nasty prickles?"
+
+"That is a very different matter. You put them there yourself, and only
+you can take them away."
+
+"But how can I do that?" asked Tom, crying afresh.
+
+"Well, I think it is time for you to go to school; so I shall fetch you
+a schoolmistress, who will teach you how to get rid of your prickles."
+And so she went away.
+
+Tom was frightened at the notion of a schoolmistress; for he thought she
+would certainly come with a birch-rod or a cane; but he comforted
+himself, at last, that she might be something like the old woman in
+Vendale--which she was not in the least; for, when the fairy brought
+her, she was the most beautiful little girl that ever was seen, with
+long curls floating behind her like a golden cloud, and long robes
+floating all round her like a silver one.
+
+"There he is," said the fairy; "and you must teach him to be good,
+whether you like or not."
+
+"I know," said the little girl; but she did not seem quite to like, for
+she put her finger in her mouth, and looked at Tom under her brows; and
+Tom put his finger in his mouth, and looked at her under his brows, for
+he was horribly ashamed of himself.
+
+The little girl seemed hardly to know how to begin; and perhaps she
+would never have begun at all if poor Tom had not burst out crying, and
+begged her to teach him to be good and help him to cure his prickles;
+and at that she grew so tender-hearted that she began teaching him as
+prettily as ever child was taught in the world.
+
+And what did the little girl teach Tom? She taught him, first, what you
+have been taught ever since you said your first prayers at your mother's
+knees; but she taught him much more simply. For the lessons in that
+world, my child, have no such hard words in them as the lessons in
+this, and therefore the water-babies like them better than you like your
+lessons, and long to learn them more and more; and grown men cannot
+puzzle nor quarrel over their meaning, as they do here on land; for
+those lessons all rise clear and pure, like the Test out of Overton
+Pool, out of the everlasting ground of all life and truth.
+
+So she taught Tom every day in the week; only on Sundays she always went
+away home, and the kind fairy took her place. And before she had taught
+Tom many Sundays, his prickles had vanished quite away, and his skin was
+smooth and clean again.
+
+"Dear me!" said the little girl; "why, I know you now. You are the very
+same little chimney-sweep who came into my bedroom."
+
+"Dear me!" cried Tom. "And I know you, too, now. You are the very little
+white lady whom I saw in bed." And he jumped at her, and longed to hug
+and kiss her; but did not, remembering that she was a lady born; so he
+only jumped round and round her till he was quite tired.
+
+And then they began telling each other all their story--how he had got
+into the water, and she had fallen over the rock; and how he had swum
+down to the sea, and how she had flown out of the window; and how this,
+that, and the other, till it was all talked out: and then they both
+began over again, and I can't say which of the two talked fastest.
+
+And then they set to work at their lessons again, and both liked them
+so well that they went on well till seven full years were past and gone.
+
+You may fancy that Tom was quite content and happy all those seven
+years; but the truth is, he was not. He had always one thing on his
+mind, and that was--where little Ellie went, when she went home on
+Sundays.
+
+To a very beautiful place, she said.
+
+But what was the beautiful place like, and where was it?
+
+Ah! that is just what she could not say. And it is strange, but true,
+that no one can say; and that those who have been oftenest in it, or
+even nearest to it, can say least about it, and make people understand
+least what it is like. There are a good many folks about the
+Other-end-of-Nowhere (where Tom went afterwards), who pretend to know it
+from north to south as well as if they had been penny postmen there;
+but, as they are safe at the Other-end-of-Nowhere, nine hundred and
+ninety-nine million miles away, what they say cannot concern us.
+
+But the dear, sweet, loving, wise, good, self-sacrificing people, who
+really go there, can never tell you anything about it, save that it is
+the most beautiful place in all the world; and, if you ask them more,
+they grow modest, and hold their peace, for fear of being laughed at;
+and quite right they are.
+
+So all that good little Ellie could say was, that it was worth all the
+rest of the world put together. And of course that only made Tom the
+more anxious to go likewise.
+
+"Miss Ellie," he said at last, "I will know why I cannot go with you
+when you go home on Sundays, or I shall have no peace, and give you none
+either."
+
+"You must ask the fairies that."
+
+So when the fairy, Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid, came next, Tom asked her.
+
+"Little boys who are only fit to play with sea-beasts cannot go there,"
+she said. "Those who go there must go first where they do not like, and
+do what they do not like, and help somebody they do not like."
+
+"Why, did Ellie do that?"
+
+"Ask her."
+
+And Ellie blushed, and said, "Yes, Tom; I did not like coming here at
+first; I was so much happier at home, where it is always Sunday. And I
+was afraid of you, Tom, at first,--because--because----"
+
+"Because I was all over prickles? But I am not prickly now, am I, Miss
+Ellie?"
+
+"No," said Ellie. "I like you very much now; and I like coming here,
+too."
+
+"And perhaps," said the fairy, "you will learn to like going where you
+don't like, and helping some one that you don't like, as Ellie has."
+
+But Tom put his finger in his mouth, and hung his head down; for he did
+not see that at all.
+
+So when Mrs. Doasyouwouldbedoneby came, Tom asked her; for he thought in
+his little head, She is not so strict as her sister, and perhaps she
+may let me off more easily.
+
+Ah, Tom, Tom, silly fellow! and yet I don't know why I should blame you,
+while so many grown people have got the very same notion in their heads.
+
+But, when they try it, they get just the same answer as Tom did. For,
+when he asked the second fairy, she told him just what the first did,
+and in the very same words.
+
+Tom was very unhappy at that. And, when Ellie went home on Sunday, he
+fretted and cried all day, and did not care to listen to the fairy's
+stories about good children, though they were prettier than ever.
+Indeed, the more he overheard of them, the less he liked to listen,
+because they were all about children who did what they did not like, and
+took trouble for other people, and worked to feed their little brothers
+and sisters instead of caring only for their play. And, when she began
+to tell a story about a holy child in old times, who was martyred by the
+heathen because it would not worship idols, Tom could bear no more, and
+ran away and hid among the rocks.
+
+And, when Ellie came back, he was shy with her, because he fancied she
+looked down on him, and thought him a coward. And then he grew quite
+cross with her, because she was superior to him, and did what he could
+not do. And poor Ellie was quite surprised and sad; and at last Tom
+burst out crying; but he would not tell her what was really in his
+mind.
+
+And all the while he was eaten up with curiosity to know where Ellie
+went to; so that he began not to care for his playmates, or for the
+sea-palace or anything else. But perhaps that made matters all the
+easier for him; for he grew so discontented with everything round him
+that he did not care to stay, and did not care where he went.
+
+"Well," he said, at last, "I am so miserable here, I'll go; if only you
+will go with me?"
+
+"Ah!" said Ellie, "I wish I might; but the worst of it is, that the
+fairy says that you must go alone if you go at all. Now don't poke that
+poor crab about, Tom" (for he was feeling very naughty and mischievous),
+"or the fairy will have to punish you."
+
+Tom was very nearly saying, "I don't care if she does"; but he stopped
+himself in time.
+
+"I know what she wants me to do," he said, whining most dolefully. "She
+wants me to go after that horrid old Grimes. I don't like him, that's
+certain. And if I find him, he will turn me into a chimney-sweep again,
+I know. That's what I have been afraid of all along."
+
+"No, he won't--I know as much as that. Nobody can turn water-babies into
+sweeps, or hurt them at all, as long as they are good."
+
+"Ah," said naughty Tom, "I see what you want; you are persuading me all
+along to go, because you are tired of me, and want to get rid of me."
+
+Little Ellie opened her eyes very wide at that, and they were all
+brimming over with tears.
+
+"Oh, Tom, Tom!" she said, very mournfully--and then she cried, "Oh, Tom!
+where are you?"
+
+And Tom cried, "Oh, Ellie, where are you?"
+
+For neither of them could see each other--not the least. Little Ellie
+vanished quite away, and Tom heard her voice calling him, and growing
+smaller and smaller, and fainter and fainter, till all was silent.
+
+Who was frightened then but Tom? He swam up and down among the rocks,
+into all the halls and chambers, faster than ever he swam before, but
+could not find her. He shouted after her, but she did not answer; he
+asked all the other children, but they had not seen her; and at last he
+went up to the top of the water and began crying and screaming for Mrs.
+Bedonebyasyoudid--which perhaps was the best thing to do--for she came
+in a moment.
+
+"Oh!" said Tom. "Oh dear, oh dear! I have been naughty to Ellie, and I
+have killed her--I know I have killed her."
+
+"Not quite that," said the fairy; "but I have sent her away home, and
+she will not come back again for I do not know how long."
+
+And at that Tom cried so bitterly that the salt sea was swelled with his
+tears, and the tide was .3,954,620,819 of an inch higher than it had
+been the day before: but perhaps that was owing to the waxing of the
+moon. It may have been so; but it is considered right in the new
+philosophy, you know, to give spiritual causes for physical
+phenomena--especially in parlour-tables; and, of course, physical
+causes for spiritual ones, like thinking, and praying, and knowing right
+from wrong. And so they odds it till it comes even, as folks say down in
+Berkshire.
+
+"How cruel of you to send Ellie away!" sobbed Tom. "However, I will find
+her again, if I go to the world's end to look for her."
+
+The fairy did not slap Tom, and tell him to hold his tongue: but she
+took him on her lap very kindly, just as her sister would have done; and
+put him in mind how it was not her fault, because she was wound up
+inside, like watches, and could not help doing things whether she liked
+or not. And then she told him how he had been in the nursery long
+enough, and must go out now and see the world, if he intended ever to be
+a man; and how he must go all alone by himself, as every one else that
+ever was born has to go, and see with his own eyes, and smell with his
+own nose, and make his own bed and lie on it, and burn his own fingers
+if he put them into the fire. And then she told him how many fine things
+there were to be seen in the world, and what an odd, curious, pleasant,
+orderly, respectable, well-managed, and, on the whole, successful (as,
+indeed, might have been expected) sort of a place it was, if people
+would only be tolerably brave and honest and good in it; and then she
+told him not to be afraid of anything he met, for nothing would harm him
+if he remembered all his lessons, and did what he knew was right. And at
+last she comforted poor little Tom so much that he was quite eager to
+go, and wanted to set out that minute. "Only," he said, "if I might see
+Ellie once before I went!"
+
+"Why do you want that?"
+
+"Because--because I should be so much happier if I thought she had
+forgiven me."
+
+And in the twinkling of an eye there stood Ellie, smiling, and looking
+so happy that Tom longed to kiss her; but was still afraid it would not
+be respectful, because she was a lady born.
+
+"I am going, Ellie!" said Tom. "I am going, if it is to the world's end.
+But I don't like going at all, and that's the truth."
+
+"Pooh! pooh! pooh!" said the fairy. "You will like it very well indeed,
+you little rogue, and you know that at the bottom of your heart. But if
+you don't, I will make you like it. Come here, and see what happens to
+people who do only what is pleasant."
+
+And she took out of one of her cupboards (she had all sorts of
+mysterious cupboards in the cracks of the rocks) the most wonderful
+waterproof book, full of such photographs as never were seen. For she
+had found out photography (and this is a fact) more than 13,598,000
+years before anybody was born; and, what is more, her photographs did
+not merely represent light and shade, as ours do, but colour also, and
+all colours, as you may see if you look at a blackcock's tail, or a
+butterfly's wing, or indeed most things that are or can be, so to speak.
+And therefore her photographs were very curious and famous, and the
+children looked with great delight for the opening of the book.
+
+And on the title-page was written, "The History of the great and famous
+nation of the Doasyoulikes, who came away from the country of Hardwork,
+because they wanted to play on the Jews' harp all day long."
+
+In the first picture they saw these Doasyoulikes living in the land of
+Readymade, at the foot of the Happy-go-lucky Mountains, where flapdoodle
+grows wild; and if you want to know what that is, you must read Peter
+Simple.
+
+They lived very much such a life as those jolly old Greeks in Sicily,
+whom you may see painted on the ancient vases, and really there seemed
+to be great excuses for them, for they had no need to work.
+
+Instead of houses they lived in the beautiful caves of tufa, and bathed
+in the warm springs three times a day; and, as for clothes, it was so
+warm there that the gentlemen walked about in little beside a cocked hat
+and a pair of straps, or some light summer tackle of that kind; and the
+ladies all gathered gossamer in autumn (when they were not too lazy) to
+make their winter dresses.
+
+They were very fond of music, but it was too much trouble to learn the
+piano or the violin; and as for dancing, that would have been too great
+an exertion. So they sat on ant-hills all day long, and played on the
+Jews' harp; and, if the ants bit them, why they just got up and went to
+the next ant-hill, till they were bitten there likewise.
+
+And they sat under the flapdoodle-trees, and let the flapdoodle drop
+into their mouths; and under the vines, and squeezed the grape-juice
+down their throats; and, if any little pigs ran about ready roasted,
+crying, "Come and eat me," as was their fashion in that country, they
+waited till the pigs ran against their mouths, and then took a bite, and
+were content, just as so many oysters would have been.
+
+They needed no weapons, for no enemies ever came near their land; and no
+tools, for everything was readymade to their hand; and the stern old
+fairy Necessity never came near them to hunt them up, and make them use
+their wits, or die.
+
+And so on, and so on, and so on, till there were never such comfortable,
+easy-going, happy-go-lucky people in the world.
+
+"Well, that is a jolly life," said Tom.
+
+"You think so?" said the fairy. "Do you see that great peaked mountain
+there behind," said the fairy, "with smoke coming out of its top?"
+
+"Yes."
+
+"And do you see all those ashes, and slag, and cinders lying about?"
+
+"Yes."
+
+"Then turn over the next five hundred years, and you will see what
+happens next."
+
+And behold the mountain had blown up like a barrel of gunpowder, and
+then boiled over like a kettle; whereby one-third of the Doasyoulikes
+were blown into the air, and another third were smothered in ashes; so
+that there was only one-third left.
+
+"You see," said the fairy, "what comes of living on a burning mountain."
+
+"Oh, why did you not warn them?" said little Ellie.
+
+"I did warn them all that I could. I let the smoke come out of the
+mountain; and wherever there is smoke there is fire. And I laid the
+ashes and cinders all about; and wherever there are cinders, cinders may
+be again. But they did not like to face facts, my dears, as very few
+people do; and so they invented a cock-and-bull story, which, I am sure,
+I never told them, that the smoke was the breath of a giant, whom some
+gods or other had buried under the mountain; and that the cinders were
+what the dwarfs roasted the little pigs whole with; and other nonsense
+of that kind. And, when folks are in that humour, I cannot teach them,
+save by the good old birch-rod."
+
+And then she turned over the next five hundred years: and there were the
+remnant of the Doasyoulikes, doing as they liked, as before. They were
+too lazy to move away from the mountain; so they said, If it has blown
+up once, that is all the more reason that it should not blow up again.
+And they were few in number: but they only said, The more the merrier,
+but the fewer the better fare. However, that was not quite true; for all
+the flapdoodle-trees were killed by the volcano, and they had eaten all
+the roast pigs, who, of course, could not be expected to have little
+ones. So they had to live very hard, on nuts and roots which they
+scratched out of the ground with sticks. Some of them talked of sowing
+corn, as their ancestors used to do, before they came into the land of
+Readymade; but they had forgotten how to make ploughs (they had
+forgotten even how to make Jews' harps by this time), and had eaten all
+the seed-corn which they brought out of the land of Hardwork years
+since; and of course it was too much trouble to go away and find more.
+So they lived miserably on roots and nuts, and all the weakly little
+children had great stomachs, and then died.
+
+"Why," said Tom, "they are growing no better than savages."
+
+"And look how ugly they are all getting," said Ellie.
+
+"Yes; when people live on poor vegetables instead of roast beef and
+plum-pudding, their jaws grow large, and their lips grow coarse, like
+the poor Paddies who eat potatoes."
+
+And she turned over the next five hundred years. And there they were all
+living up in trees, and making nests to keep off the rain. And
+underneath the trees lions were prowling about.
+
+"Why," said Ellie, "the lions seem to have eaten a good many of them,
+for there are very few left now."
+
+"Yes," said the fairy; "you see it was only the strongest and most
+active ones who could climb the trees, and so escape."
+
+"But what great, hulking, broad-shouldered chaps they are," said Tom;
+"they are a rough lot as ever I saw."
+
+"Yes, they are getting very strong now; for the ladies will not marry
+any but the very strongest and fiercest gentlemen, who can help them up
+the trees out of the lions' way."
+
+And she turned over the next five hundred years. And in that they were
+fewer still, and stronger, and fiercer; but their feet had changed shape
+very oddly, for they laid hold of the branches with their great toes, as
+if they had been thumbs, just as a Hindoo tailor uses his toes to thread
+his needle.
+
+The children were very much surprised, and asked the fairy whether that
+was her doing.
+
+"Yes, and no," she said, smiling. "It was only those who could use their
+feet as well as their hands who could get a good living: or, indeed, get
+married; so that they got the best of everything, and starved out all
+the rest; and those who are left keep up a regular breed of
+toe-thumb-men, as a breed of short-horns, or skye-terriers, or fancy
+pigeons is kept up."
+
+"But there is a hairy one among them," said Ellie.
+
+"Ah!" said the fairy, "that will be a great man in his time, and chief
+of all the tribe."
+
+And, when she turned over the next five hundred years, it was true.
+
+For this hairy chief had had hairy children, and they hairier children
+still; and every one wished to marry hairy husbands, and have hairy
+children too; for the climate was growing so damp that none but the
+hairy ones could live: all the rest coughed and sneezed, and had sore
+throats, and went into consumptions, before they could grow up to be men
+and women.
+
+Then the fairy turned over the next five hundred years. And they were
+fewer still.
+
+"Why, there is one on the ground picking up roots," said Ellie, "and he
+cannot walk upright."
+
+No more he could; for in the same way that the shape of their feet had
+altered, the shape of their backs had altered also.
+
+"Why," cried Tom, "I declare they are all apes."
+
+"Something fearfully like it, poor foolish creatures," said the fairy.
+"They are grown so stupid now, that they can hardly think: for none of
+them have used their wits for many hundred years. They have almost
+forgotten, too, how to talk. For each stupid child forgot some of the
+words it heard from its stupid parents, and had not wits enough to make
+fresh words for itself. Beside, they are grown so fierce and suspicious
+and brutal that they keep out of each other's way, and mope and sulk in
+the dark forests, never hearing each other's voice, till they have
+forgotten almost what speech is like. I am afraid they will all be apes
+very soon, and all by doing only what they liked."
+
+And in the next five hundred years they were all dead and gone, by bad
+food and wild beasts and hunters; all except one tremendous old fellow
+with jaws like a jack, who stood full seven feet high; and M. Du Chaillu
+came up to him, and shot him, as he stood roaring and thumping his
+breast. And he remembered that his ancestors had once been men, and
+tried to say, "Am I not a man and a brother?" but had forgotten how to
+use his tongue; and then he had tried to call for a doctor, but he had
+forgotten the word for one. So all he said was "Ubboboo!" and died.
+
+And that was the end of the great and jolly nation of the Doasyoulikes.
+And, when Tom and Ellie came to the end of the book, they looked very
+sad and solemn; and they had good reason so to do, for they really
+fancied that the men were apes, and never thought, in their simplicity,
+of asking whether the creatures had hippopotamus majors in their brains
+or not; in which case, as you have been told already, they could not
+possibly have been apes, though they were more apish than the apes of
+all aperies.
+
+"But could you not have saved them from becoming apes?" said little
+Ellie, at last.
+
+"At first, my dear; if only they would have behaved like men, and set to
+work to do what they did not like. But the longer they waited, and
+behaved like the dumb beasts, who only do what they like, the stupider
+and clumsier they grew; till at last they were past all cure, for they
+had thrown their own wits away. It is such things as this that help to
+make me so ugly, that I know not when I shall grow fair."
+
+"And where are they all now?" asked Ellie.
+
+"Exactly where they ought to be, my dear."
+
+"Yes!" said the fairy, solemnly, half to herself, as she closed the
+wonderful book. "Folks say now that I can make beasts into men; by
+circumstance, and selection, and competition, and so forth. Well,
+perhaps they are right; and perhaps, again, they are wrong. That is one
+of the seven things which I am forbidden to tell, till the coming of the
+Cocqcigrues; and, at all events, it is no concern of theirs. Whatever
+their ancestors were, men they are; and I advise them to behave as such,
+and act accordingly. But let them recollect this, that there are two
+sides to every question, and a downhill as well as an uphill road; and,
+if I can turn beasts into men, I can, by the same laws of circumstance,
+and selection, and competition, turn men into beasts. You were very near
+being turned into a beast once or twice, little Tom. Indeed, if you had
+not made up your mind to go on this journey, and see the world, like an
+Englishman, I am not sure but that you would have ended as an eft in a
+pond."
+
+"Oh, dear me!" said Tom; "sooner than that, and be all over slime, I'll
+go this minute, if it is to the world's end."
+
+          "And Nature, the old Nurse, took
+             The child upon her knee,
+           Saying, 'Here is a story book
+             Thy father hath written for thee.
+
+          "'Come wander with me,' she said,
+             'Into regions yet untrod,
+           And read what is still unread
+             In the Manuscripts of God.'
+
+          "And he wandered away and away
+             With Nature, the dear old Nurse,
+           Who sang to him night and day
+             The rhymes of the universe."
+
+                                     LONGFELLOW.
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VII
+
+
+"NOW," said Tom, "I am ready to be off, if it's to the world's end."
+
+"Ah!" said the fairy, "that is a brave, good boy. But you must go
+farther than the world's end, if you want to find Mr. Grimes; for he is
+at the Other-end-of-Nowhere. You must go to Shiny Wall, and through the
+white gate that never was opened; and then you will come to Peacepool,
+and Mother Carey's Haven, where the good whales go when they die. And
+there Mother Carey will tell you the way to the Other-end-of-Nowhere,
+and there you will find Mr. Grimes."
+
+"Oh, dear!" said Tom. "But I do not know my way to Shiny Wall, or where
+it is at all."
+
+"Little boys must take the trouble to find out things for themselves, or
+they will never grow to be men; so that you must ask all the beasts in
+the sea and the birds in the air, and if you have been good to them,
+some of them will tell you the way to Shiny Wall."
+
+"Well," said Tom, "it will be a long journey, so I had better start at
+once. Good-bye, Miss Ellie; you know I am getting a big boy, and I must
+go out and see the world."
+
+"I know you must," said Ellie; "but you will not forget me, Tom. I shall
+wait here till you come."
+
+And she shook hands with him, and bade him good-bye. Tom longed very
+much again to kiss her; but he thought it would not be respectful,
+considering she was a lady born; so he promised not to forget her: but
+his little whirl-about of a head was so full of the notion of going out
+to see the world, that it forgot her in five minutes: however, though
+his head forgot her, I am glad to say his heart did not.
+
+So he asked all the beasts in the sea, and all the birds in the air, but
+none of them knew the way to Shiny Wall. For why? He was still too far
+down south.
+
+Then he met a ship, far larger than he had ever seen--a gallant
+ocean-steamer, with a long cloud of smoke trailing behind; and he
+wondered how she went on without sails, and swam up to her to see. A
+school of dolphins were running races round and round her, going three
+feet for her one, and Tom asked them the way to Shiny Wall: but they did
+not know. Then he tried to find out how she moved, and at last he saw
+her screw, and was so delighted with it that he played under her quarter
+all day, till he nearly had his nose knocked off by the fans, and
+thought it time to move. Then he watched the sailors upon deck, and the
+ladies, with their bonnets and parasols: but none of them could see him,
+because their eyes were not opened,--as, indeed, most people's eyes are
+not.
+
+At last there came out into the quarter-gallery a very pretty lady, in
+deep black widow's weeds, and in her arms a baby. She leaned over the
+quarter-gallery, and looked back and back toward England far away; and
+as she looked she sang:
+
+
+I.
+
+           "_Soft soft wind, from out the sweet south sliding,
+          Waft thy silver cloud-webs athwart the summer sea;
+             Thin thin threads of mist on dewy fingers twining
+          Weave a veil of dappled gauze to shade my babe and me._
+
+
+II.
+
+            "_Deep deep Love, within thine own abyss abiding,
+          Pour Thyself abroad, O Lord, on earth and air and sea;
+             Worn weary hearts within Thy holy temple hiding,
+          Shield from sorrow, sin, and shame my helpless babe and me._"
+
+Her voice was so soft and low, and the music of the air so sweet, that
+Tom could have listened to it all day. But as she held the baby over the
+gallery rail, to show it the dolphins leaping and the water gurgling in
+the ship's wake, lo! and behold, the baby saw Tom.
+
+He was quite sure of that; for when their eyes met, the baby smiled and
+held out his hands; and Tom smiled and held out his hands too; and the
+baby kicked and leaped, as if it wanted to jump overboard to him.
+
+"What do you see, my darling?" said the lady; and her eyes followed the
+baby's till she too caught sight of Tom, swimming about among the
+foam-beads below.
+
+She gave a little shriek and start; and then she said, quite quietly,
+"Babies in the sea? Well, perhaps it is the happiest place for them";
+and waved her hand to Tom, and cried, "Wait a little, darling, only a
+little: and perhaps we shall go with you and be at rest."
+
+And at that an old nurse, all in black, came out and talked to her, and
+drew her in. And Tom turned away northward, sad and wondering; and
+watched the great steamer slide away into the dusk, and the lights on
+board peep out one by one, and die out again, and the long bar of smoke
+fade away into the evening mist, till all was out of sight.
+
+And he swam northward again, day after day, till at last he met the King
+of the Herrings, with a curry-comb growing out of his nose, and a sprat
+in his mouth for a cigar, and asked him the way to Shiny Wall; so he
+bolted his sprat head foremost, and said:
+
+"If I were you, young gentleman, I should go to the Allalonestone, and
+ask the last of the Gairfowl. She is of a very ancient clan, very nearly
+as ancient as my own; and knows a good deal which these modern upstarts
+don't, as ladies of old houses are likely to do."
+
+[Illustration: "There he saw the last of the Gairfowl, standing up on
+the Allalonestone, all alone."--_P. 201._]
+
+Tom asked his way to her, and the King of the Herrings told him very
+kindly, for he was a courteous old gentleman of the old school,
+though he was horribly ugly, and strangely bedizened too, like the old
+dandies who lounge in the club-house windows.
+
+But just as Tom had thanked him and set off, he called after him: "Hi! I
+say, can you fly?"
+
+"I never tried," says Tom. "Why?"
+
+"Because, if you can, I should advise you to say nothing to the old lady
+about it. There; take a hint. Good-bye."
+
+And away Tom went for seven days and seven nights due north-west, till
+he came to a great codbank, the like of which he never saw before. The
+great cod lay below in tens of thousands, and gobbled shell-fish all day
+long; and the blue sharks roved about in hundreds, and gobbled them when
+they came up. So they ate, and ate, and ate each other, as they had done
+since the making of the world; for no man had come here yet to catch
+them, and find out how rich old Mother Carey is.
+
+And there he saw the last of the Gairfowl, standing up on the
+Allalonestone, all alone. And a very grand old lady she was, full three
+feet high, and bolt upright, like some old Highland chieftainess. She
+had on a black velvet gown, and a white pinner and apron, and a very
+high bridge to her nose (which is a sure mark of high breeding), and a
+large pair of white spectacles on it, which made her look rather odd:
+but it was the ancient fashion of her house.
+
+And instead of wings, she had two little feathery arms, with which she
+fanned herself, and complained of the dreadful heat; and she kept on
+crooning an old song to herself, which she learnt when she was a little
+baby-bird, long ago--
+
+          "_Two little birds they sat on a stone,
+            One swam away, and then there was one,
+                  With a fal-lal-la-lady._
+
+          "_The other swam after, and then there was none,
+            And so the poor stone was left all alone;
+                  With a fal-lal-la-lady._"
+
+It was "flew" away, properly, and not "swam" away: but, as she could not
+fly, she had a right to alter it. However, it was a very fit song for
+her to sing, because she was a lady herself.
+
+Tom came up to her very humbly, and made his bow; and the first thing
+she said was--
+
+"Have you wings? Can you fly?"
+
+"Oh dear, no, ma'am; I should not think of such thing," said cunning
+little Tom.
+
+"Then I shall have great pleasure in talking to you, my dear. It is
+quite refreshing nowadays to see anything without wings. They must all
+have wings, forsooth, now, every new upstart sort of bird, and fly. What
+can they want with flying, and raising themselves above their proper
+station in life? In the days of my ancestors no birds ever thought of
+having wings, and did very well without; and now they all laugh at me
+because I keep to the good old fashion. Why, the very marrocks and
+dovekies have got wings, the vulgar creatures, and poor little ones
+enough they are; and my own cousins too, the razor-bills, who are
+gentlefolk born, and ought to know better than to ape their inferiors."
+
+And so she was running on, while Tom tried to get in a word edgeways;
+and at last he did, when the old lady got out of breath, and began
+fanning herself again; and then he asked if she knew the way to Shiny
+Wall.
+
+"Shiny Wall? Who should know better than I? We all came from Shiny Wall,
+thousands of years ago, when it was decently cold, and the climate was
+fit for gentlefolk; but now, what with the heat, and what with these
+vulgar-winged things who fly up and down and eat everything, so that
+gentlepeople's hunting is all spoilt, and one really cannot get one's
+living, or hardly venture off the rock for fear of being flown against
+by some creature that would not have dared to come within a mile of one
+a thousand years ago--what was I saying? Why, we have quite gone down in
+the world, my dear, and have nothing left but our honour. And I am the
+last of my family. A friend of mine and I came and settled on this rock
+when we were young, to be out of the way of low people. Once we were a
+great nation, and spread over all the Northern Isles. But men shot us
+so, and knocked us on the head, and took our eggs--why, if you will
+believe it, they say that on the coast of Labrador the sailors used to
+lay a plank from the rock on board the thing called their ship, and
+drive us along the plank by hundreds, till we tumbled down into the
+ship's waist in heaps; and then, I suppose, they ate us, the nasty
+fellows! Well--but--what was I saying? At last, there were none of us
+left, except on the old Gairfowlskerry, just off the Iceland coast, up
+which no man could climb. Even there we had no peace; for one day, when
+I was quite a young girl, the land rocked, and the sea boiled, and the
+sky grew dark, and all the air was filled with smoke and dust, and down
+tumbled the old Gairfowlskerry into the sea. The dovekies and marrocks,
+of course, all flew away; but we were too proud to do that. Some of us
+were dashed to pieces, and some drowned; and those who were left got
+away to Eldey, and the dovekies tell me they are all dead now, and that
+another Gairfowlskerry has risen out of the sea close to the old one,
+but that it is such a poor flat place that it is not safe to live on:
+and so here I am left alone."
+
+This was the Gairfowl's story, and, strange as it may seem, it is every
+word of it true.
+
+"If you only had had wings!" said Tom; "then you might all have flown
+away too."
+
+"Yes, young gentleman: and if people are not gentlemen and ladies, and
+forget that _noblesse oblige_, they will find it as easy to get on in
+the world as other people who don't care what they do. Why, if I had not
+recollected that _noblesse oblige_, I should not have been all alone
+now." And the poor old lady sighed.
+
+"How was that, ma'am?"
+
+"Why, my dear, a gentleman came hither with me, and after we had been
+here some time, he wanted to marry--in fact, he actually proposed to me.
+Well, I can't blame him; I was young, and very handsome then, I don't
+deny: but you see, I could not hear of such a thing, because he was my
+deceased sister's husband, you see?"
+
+"Of course not, ma'am," said Tom; though, of course, he knew nothing
+about it. "She was very much diseased, I suppose?"
+
+"You do not understand me, my dear. I mean, that being a lady, and with
+right and honourable feelings, as our house always has had, I felt it my
+duty to snub him, and howk him, and peck him continually, to keep him at
+his proper distance; and, to tell the truth, I once pecked him a little
+too hard, poor fellow, and he tumbled backwards off the rock,
+and--really, it was very unfortunate, but it was not my fault--a shark
+coming by saw him flapping, and snapped him up. And since then I have
+lived all alone--
+
+          _'With a fal-lal-la-lady.'_
+
+And soon I shall be gone, my little dear, and nobody will miss me; and
+then the poor stone will be left all alone."
+
+"But, please, which is the way to Shiny Wall?" said Tom.
+
+"Oh, you must go, my little dear--you must go. Let me see--I am
+sure--that is--really, my poor old brains are getting quite puzzled. Do
+you know, my little dear, I am afraid, if you want to know, you must
+ask some of these vulgar birds about, for I have quite forgotten."
+
+And the poor old Gairfowl began to cry tears of pure oil; and Tom was
+quite sorry for her; and for himself too, for he was at his wit's end
+whom to ask.
+
+But by there came a flock of petrels, who are Mother Carey's own
+chickens; and Tom thought them much prettier than Lady Gairfowl, and so
+perhaps they were; for Mother Carey had had a great deal of fresh
+experience between the time that she invented the Gairfowl and the time
+that she invented them. They flitted along like a flock of black
+swallows, and hopped and skipped from wave to wave, lifting up their
+little feet behind them so daintily, and whistling to each other so
+tenderly, that Tom fell in love with them at once, and called them to
+know the way to Shiny Wall.
+
+"Shiny Wall? Do you want Shiny Wall? Then come with us, and we will show
+you. We are Mother Carey's own chickens, and she sends us out over all
+the seas, to show the good birds the way home."
+
+Tom was delighted, and swam off to them, after he had made his bow to
+the Gairfowl. But she would not return his bow: but held herself bolt
+upright, and wept tears of oil as she sang:
+
+          "_And so the poor stone was left all alone;
+                With a fal-lal-la-lady._"
+
+But she was wrong there; for the stone was not left all alone: and the
+next time that Tom goes by it, he will see a sight worth seeing.
+
+The old Gairfowl is gone already: but there are better things come in
+her place; and when Tom comes he will see the fishing-smacks anchored
+there in hundreds, from Scotland, and from Ireland, and from the
+Orkneys, and the Shetlands, and from all the Northern ports, full of the
+children of the old Norse Vikings, the masters of the sea. And the men
+will be hauling in the great cod by thousands, till their hands are sore
+from the lines; and they will be making cod-liver oil and guano, and
+salting down the fish; and there will be a man-of-war steamer there to
+protect them, and a lighthouse to show them the way; and you and I,
+perhaps, shall go some day to the Allalonestone to the great summer
+sea-fair, and dredge strange creatures such as man never saw before; and
+we shall hear the sailors boast that it is not the worst jewel in Queen
+Victoria's crown, for there are eighty miles of codbank, and food for
+all the poor folk in the land. That is what Tom will see, and perhaps
+you and I shall see it too. And then we shall not be sorry because we
+cannot get a Gairfowl to stuff, much less find gairfowl enough to drive
+them into stone pens and slaughter them, as the old Norsemen did, or
+drive them on board along a plank till the ship was victualled with
+them, as the old English and French rovers used to do, of whom dear old
+Hakluyt tells: but we shall remember what Mr. Tennyson says: how
+
+          "_The old order changeth, giving place to the new,
+            And God fulfils himself in many ways._"
+
+And now Tom was all agog to start for Shiny Wall; but the petrels said
+no. They must go first to Allfowlsness, and wait there for the great
+gathering of all the sea-birds, before they start for their summer
+breeding-places far away in the Northern Isles; and there they would be
+sure to find some birds which were going to Shiny Wall: but where
+Allfowlsness was, he must promise never to tell, lest men should go
+there and shoot the birds, and stuff them, and put them into stupid
+museums, instead of leaving them to play and breed and work in Mother
+Carey's water-garden, where they ought to be.
+
+So where Allfowlsness is nobody must know; and all that is to be said
+about it is, that Tom waited there many days; and as he waited, he saw a
+very curious sight. On the rabbit burrows on the shore there gathered
+hundreds and hundreds of hoodie-crows, such as you see in
+Cambridgeshire. And they made such a noise, that Tom came on shore and
+went up to see what was the matter.
+
+And there he found them holding their great caucus, which they hold
+every year in the North; and all their stump-orators were speechifying;
+and for a tribune, the speaker stood on an old sheep's skull.
+
+And they cawed and cawed, and boasted of all the clever things they had
+done; how many lambs' eyes they had picked out, and how many dead
+bullocks they had eaten, and how many young grouse they had swallowed
+whole, and how many grouse-eggs they had flown away with, stuck on the
+point of their bills, which is the hoodie-crow's particularly clever
+feat, of which he is as proud as a gipsy is of doing the hokanybaro; and
+what that is, I won't tell you.
+
+And at last they brought out the prettiest, neatest young lady-crow that
+ever was seen, and set her in the middle, and all began abusing and
+vilifying, and rating, and bullyragging at her, because she had stolen
+no grouse-eggs, and had actually dared to say that she would not steal
+any. So she was to be tried publicly by their laws (for the hoodies
+always try some offenders in their great yearly parliament). And there
+she stood in the middle, in her black gown and grey hood, looking as
+meek and as neat as a Quakeress, and they all bawled at her at once--
+
+And it was in vain that she pleaded--
+
+          _That she did not like grouse-eggs;_
+
+          _That she could get her living very well without
+          them;_
+
+          _That she was afraid to eat them, for fear of the
+          gamekeepers;_
+
+          _That she had not the heart to eat them, because
+          the grouse were such pretty, kind, jolly birds;_
+
+          _And a dozen reasons more._
+
+For all the other scaul-crows set upon her, and pecked her to death
+there and then, before Tom could come to help her; and then flew away,
+very proud of what they had done.
+
+[Illustration: "The most beautiful bird of paradise."--_P. 210._]
+
+Now, was not this a scandalous transaction?
+
+But they are true republicans, these hoodies, who do every one just what
+he likes, and make other people do so too; so that, for any freedom of
+speech, thought, or action, which is allowed among them, they might as
+well be American citizens of the new school.
+
+But the fairies took the good crow, and gave her nine new sets of
+feathers running, and turned her at last into the most beautiful bird of
+paradise with a green velvet suit and a long tail, and sent her to eat
+fruit in the Spice Islands, where cloves and nutmegs grow.
+
+And Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid settled her account with the wicked hoodies.
+For, as they flew away, what should they find but a nasty dead dog?--on
+which they all set to work, pecking and gobbling and cawing and
+quarrelling to their hearts' content. But the moment afterwards, they
+all threw up their bills into the air, and gave one screech; and then
+turned head over heels backward, and fell down dead, one hundred and
+twenty-three of them at once. For why? The fairy had told the gamekeeper
+in a dream, to fill the dead dog full of strychnine; and so he did.
+
+And after a while the birds began to gather at Allfowlsness, in
+thousands and tens of thousands, blackening all the air; swans and brant
+geese, harlequins and eiders, harolds and garganeys, smews and
+goosanders, divers and loons, grebes and dovekies, auks and
+razor-bills, gannets and petrels, skuas and terns, with gulls beyond all
+naming or numbering; and they paddled and washed and splashed and combed
+and brushed themselves on the sand, till the shore was white with
+feathers; and they quacked and clucked and gabbled and chattered and
+screamed and whooped as they talked over matters with their friends, and
+settled where they were to go and breed that summer, till you might have
+heard them ten miles off; and lucky it was for them that there was no
+one to hear them but the old keeper, who lived all alone upon the Ness,
+in a turf hut thatched with heather and fringed round with great stones
+slung across the roof by bent-ropes, lest the winter gales should blow
+the hut right away. But he never minded the birds nor hurt them, because
+they were not in season; indeed, he minded but two things in the whole
+world, and those were, his Bible and his grouse; for he was as good an
+old Scotchman as ever knit stockings on a winter's night: only, when all
+the birds were going, he toddled out, and took off his cap to them, and
+wished them a merry journey and a safe return; and then gathered up all
+the feathers which they had left, and cleaned them to sell down south,
+and make feather-beds for stuffy people to lie on.
+
+Then the petrels asked this bird and that whether they would take Tom to
+Shiny Wall: but one set was going to Sutherland, and one to the
+Shetlands, and one to Norway, and one to Spitzbergen, and one to
+Iceland, and one to Greenland: but none would go to Shiny Wall. So the
+good-natured petrels said that they would show him part of the way
+themselves, but they were only going as far as Jan Mayen's Land; and
+after that he must shift for himself.
+
+And then all the birds rose up, and streamed away in long black lines,
+north, and north-east, and north-west, across the bright blue summer
+sky; and their cry was like ten thousand packs of hounds, and ten
+thousand peals of bells. Only the puffins stayed behind, and killed the
+young rabbits, and laid their eggs in the rabbit-burrows; which was
+rough practice, certainly; but a man must see to his own family.
+
+And, as Tom and the petrels went north-eastward, it began to blow right
+hard; for the old gentleman in the grey great-coat, who looks after the
+big copper boiler, in the gulf of Mexico, had got behindhand with his
+work; so Mother Carey had sent an electric message to him for more
+steam; and now the steam was coming, as much in an hour as ought to have
+come in a week, puffing and roaring and swishing and swirling, till you
+could not see where the sky ended and the sea began. But Tom and the
+petrels never cared, for the gale was right abaft, and away they went
+over the crests of the billows, as merry as so many flying-fish.
+
+And at last they saw an ugly sight--the black side of a great ship,
+water-logged in the trough of the sea. Her funnel and her masts were
+overboard, and swayed and surged under her lee; her decks were swept as
+clean as a barn floor, and there was no living soul on board.
+
+The petrels flew up to her, and wailed round her; for they were very
+sorry indeed, and also they expected to find some salt pork; and Tom
+scrambled on board of her and looked round, frightened and sad.
+
+And there, in a little cot, lashed tight under the bulwark, lay a baby
+fast asleep; the very same baby, Tom saw at once, which he had seen in
+the singing lady's arms.
+
+He went up to it, and wanted to wake it; but behold, from under the cot
+out jumped a little black and tan terrier dog, and began barking and
+snapping at Tom, and would not let him touch the cot.
+
+Tom knew the dog's teeth could not hurt him: but at least it could shove
+him away, and did; and he and the dog fought and struggled, for he
+wanted to help the baby, and did not want to throw the poor dog
+overboard: but as they were struggling, there came a tall green sea, and
+walked in over the weather side of the ship, and swept them all into the
+waves.
+
+"Oh, the baby, the baby!" screamed Tom: but the next moment he did not
+scream at all; for he saw the cot settling down through the green water,
+with the baby, smiling in it, fast asleep; and he saw the fairies come
+up from below, and carry baby and cradle gently down in their soft arms;
+and then he knew it was all right, and that there would be a new
+water-baby in St. Brandan's Isle.
+
+And the poor little dog?
+
+Why, after he had kicked and coughed a little, he sneezed so hard, that
+he sneezed himself clean out of his skin, and turned into a water-dog,
+and jumped and danced round Tom, and ran over the crests of the waves,
+and snapped at the jelly-fish and the mackerel, and followed Tom the
+whole way to the Other-end-of-Nowhere.
+
+Then they went on again, till they began to see the peak of Jan Mayen's
+Land, standing up like a white sugar-loaf, two miles above the clouds.
+
+And there they fell in with a whole flock of mollymocks, who were
+feeding on a dead whale.
+
+"These are the fellows to show you the way," said Mother Carey's
+chickens; "we cannot help you farther north. We don't like to get among
+the ice pack, for fear it should nip our toes: but the mollys dare fly
+anywhere."
+
+So the petrels called to the mollys: but they were so busy and greedy,
+gobbling and pecking and spluttering and fighting over the blubber, that
+they did not take the least notice.
+
+"Come, come," said the petrels, "you lazy greedy lubbers, this young
+gentleman is going to Mother Carey, and if you don't attend on him, you
+won't earn your discharge from her, you know."
+
+"Greedy we are," says a great fat old molly, "but lazy we ain't; and, as
+for lubbers, we're no more lubbers than you. Let's have a look at the
+lad."
+
+And he flapped right into Tom's face, and stared at him in the most
+impudent way (for the mollys are audacious fellows, as all whalers
+know), and then asked him where he hailed from, and what land he sighted
+last.
+
+And, when Tom told him, he seemed pleased, and said he was a good
+plucked one to have got so far.
+
+"Come along, lads," he said to the rest, "and give this little chap a
+cast over the pack, for Mother Carey's sake. We've eaten blubber enough
+for to-day, and we'll e'en work out a bit of our time by helping the
+lad."
+
+So the mollys took Tom up on their backs, and flew off with him,
+laughing and joking--and oh, how they did smell of train oil!
+
+"Who are you, you jolly birds?" asked Tom.
+
+"We are the spirits of the old Greenland skippers (as every sailor
+knows), who hunted here, right whales and horse-whales, full hundreds of
+years agone. But, because we were saucy and greedy, we were all turned
+into mollys, to eat whale's blubber all our days. But lubbers we are
+none, and could sail a ship now against any man in the North seas,
+though we don't hold with this new-fangled steam. And it's a shame of
+those black imps of petrels to call us so; but because they're her
+grace's pets, they think they may say anything they like."
+
+"And who are you?" asked Tom of him, for he saw that he was the king of
+all the birds.
+
+"My name is Hendrick Hudson, and a right good skipper was I; and my
+name will last to the world's end, in spite of all the wrong I did. For
+I discovered Hudson River, and I named Hudson's Bay; and many have come
+in my wake that dared not have shown me the way. But I was a hard man in
+my time, that's truth, and stole the poor Indians off the coast of
+Maine, and sold them for slaves down in Virginia; and at last I was so
+cruel to my sailors, here in these very seas, that they set me adrift in
+an open boat, and I never was heard of more. So now I'm the king of all
+mollys, till I've worked out my time."
+
+And now they came to the edge of the pack, and beyond it they could see
+Shiny Wall looming, through mist, and snow, and storm. But the pack
+rolled horribly upon the swell, and the ice giants fought and roared,
+and leapt upon each other's backs, and ground each other to powder, so
+that Tom was afraid to venture among them, lest he should be ground to
+powder too. And he was the more afraid, when he saw lying among the ice
+pack the wrecks of many a gallant ship; some with masts and yards all
+standing, some with the seamen frozen fast on board. Alas, alas, for
+them! They were all true English hearts; and they came to their end like
+good knights-errant, in searching for the white gate that never was
+opened yet.
+
+But the good mollys took Tom and his dog up, and flew with them safe
+over the pack and the roaring ice giants, and set them down at the foot
+of Shiny Wall.
+
+"And where is the gate?" asked Tom.
+
+"There is no gate," said the mollys.
+
+"No gate?" cried Tom, aghast.
+
+"None; never a crack of one, and that's the whole of the secret, as
+better fellows, lad, than you have found to their cost; and if there had
+been, they'd have killed by now every right whale that swims the sea."
+
+"What am I to do, then?"
+
+"Dive under the floe, to be sure, if you have pluck."
+
+"I've not come so far to turn now," said Tom; "so here goes for a
+header."
+
+"A lucky voyage to you, lad," said the mollys; "we knew you were one of
+the right sort. So good-bye."
+
+"Why don't you come too?" asked Tom.
+
+But the mollys only wailed sadly, "We can't go yet, we can't go yet,"
+and flew away over the pack.
+
+So Tom dived under the great white gate which never was opened yet, and
+went on in black darkness, at the bottom of the sea, for seven days and
+seven nights. And yet he was not a bit frightened. Why should he be? He
+was a brave English lad, whose business is to go out and see all the
+world.
+
+And at last he saw the light, and clear clear water overhead; and up he
+came a thousand fathoms, among clouds of sea-moths, which fluttered
+round his head. There were moths with pink heads and wings and opal
+bodies, that flapped about slowly; moths with brown wings that flapped
+about quickly; yellow shrimps that hopped and skipped most quickly of
+all; and jellies of all the colours in the world, that neither hopped
+nor skipped, but only dawdled and yawned, and would not get out of his
+way. The dog snapped at them till his jaws were tired; but Tom hardly
+minded them at all, he was so eager to get to the top of the water, and
+see the pool where the good whales go.
+
+And a very large pool it was, miles and miles across, though the air was
+so clear that the ice cliffs on the opposite side looked as if they were
+close at hand. All round it the ice cliffs rose, in walls and spires and
+battlements, and caves and bridges, and stories and galleries, in which
+the ice-fairies live, and drive away the storms and clouds, that Mother
+Carey's pool may lie calm from year's end to year's end. And the sun
+acted policeman, and walked round outside every day, peeping just over
+the top of the ice wall, to see that all went right; and now and then he
+played conjuring tricks, or had an exhibition of fireworks, to amuse the
+ice-fairies. For he would make himself into four or five suns at once,
+or paint the sky with rings and crosses and crescents of white fire, and
+stick himself in the middle of them, and wink at the fairies; and I
+daresay they were very much amused; for anything's fun in the country.
+
+[Illustration: "That's Mother Carey."--_P. 219._]
+
+And there the good whales lay, the happy sleepy beasts, upon the still
+oily sea. They were all right whales, you must know, and finners, and
+razor-backs, and bottle-noses, and spotted sea-unicorns with long
+ivory horns. But the sperm whales are such raging, ramping, roaring,
+rumbustious fellows, that, if Mother Carey let them in, there would be
+no more peace in Peacepool. So she packs them away in a great pond by
+themselves at the South Pole, two hundred and sixty-three miles
+south-south-east of Mount Erebus, the great volcano in the ice; and
+there they butt each other with their ugly noses, day and night from
+year's end to year's end.
+
+But here there were only good quiet beasts, lying about like the black
+hulls of sloops, and blowing every now and then jets of white steam, or
+sculling round with their huge mouths open, for the sea-moths to swim
+down their throats. There were no threshers there to thresh their poor
+old backs, or sword-fish to stab their stomachs, or saw-fish to rip them
+up, or ice-sharks to bite lumps out of their sides, or whalers to
+harpoon and lance them. They were quite safe and happy there; and all
+they had to do was to wait quietly in Peacepool, till Mother Carey sent
+for them to make them out of old beasts into new.
+
+Tom swam up to the nearest whale, and asked the way to Mother Carey.
+
+"There she sits in the middle," said the whale.
+
+Tom looked; but he could see nothing in the middle of the pool, but one
+peaked iceberg: and he said so.
+
+"That's Mother Carey," said the whale, "as you will find when you get to
+her. There she sits making old beasts into new all the year round."
+
+"How does she do that?"
+
+"That's her concern, not mine," said the old whale; and yawned so wide
+(for he was very large) that there swam into his mouth 943 sea-moths,
+13,846 jelly-fish no bigger than pins' heads, a string of salpæ nine
+yards long, and forty-three little ice-crabs, who gave each other a
+parting pinch all round, tucked their legs under their stomachs, and
+determined to die decently, like Julius Cæsar.
+
+"I suppose," said Tom, "she cuts up a great whale like you into a whole
+shoal of porpoises?"
+
+At which the old whale laughed so violently that he coughed up all the
+creatures; who swam away again very thankful at having escaped out of
+that terrible whalebone net of his, from which bourne no traveller
+returns; and Tom went on to the iceberg, wondering.
+
+And, when he came near it, it took the form of the grandest old lady he
+had ever seen--a white marble lady, sitting on a white marble throne.
+And from the foot of the throne there swum away, out and out into the
+sea, millions of new-born creatures, of more shapes and colours than man
+ever dreamed. And they were Mother Carey's children, whom she makes out
+of the sea-water all day long.
+
+He expected, of course--like some grown people who ought to know
+better--to find her snipping, piecing, fitting, stitching, cobbling,
+basting, filing, planing, hammering, turning, polishing, moulding,
+measuring, chiselling, clipping, and so forth, as men do when they go
+to work to make anything.
+
+But, instead of that, she sat quite still with her chin upon her hand,
+looking down into the sea with two great grand blue eyes, as blue as the
+sea itself. Her hair was as white as the snow--for she was very very
+old--in fact, as old as anything which you are likely to come across,
+except the difference between right and wrong.
+
+And, when she saw Tom, she looked at him very kindly.
+
+"What do you want, my little man? It is long since I have seen a
+water-baby here."
+
+Tom told her his errand, and asked the way to the Other-end-of-Nowhere.
+
+"You ought to know yourself, for you have been there already."
+
+"Have I, ma'am? I'm sure I forget all about it."
+
+"Then look at me."
+
+And, as Tom looked into her great blue eyes, he recollected the way
+perfectly.
+
+Now, was not that strange?
+
+"Thank you, ma'am," said Tom. "Then I won't trouble your ladyship any
+more; I hear you are very busy."
+
+"I am never more busy than I am now," she said, without stirring a
+finger.
+
+"I heard, ma'am, that you were always making new beasts out of old."
+
+"So people fancy. But I am not going to trouble myself to make things,
+my little dear. I sit here and make them make themselves."
+
+"You are a clever fairy, indeed," thought Tom. And he was quite right.
+
+That is a grand trick of good old Mother Carey's, and a grand answer,
+which she has had occasion to make several times to impertinent people.
+
+There was once, for instance, a fairy who was so clever that she found
+out how to make butterflies. I don't mean sham ones; no: but real live
+ones, which would fly, and eat, and lay eggs, and do everything that
+they ought; and she was so proud of her skill that she went flying
+straight off to the North Pole, to boast to Mother Carey how she could
+make butterflies.
+
+But Mother Carey laughed.
+
+"Know, silly child," she said, "that any one can make things, if they
+will take time and trouble enough: but it is not every one who, like me,
+can make things make themselves."
+
+But people do not yet believe that Mother Carey is as clever as all that
+comes to; and they will not till they, too, go the journey to the
+Other-end-of-Nowhere.
+
+"And now, my pretty little man," said Mother Carey, "you are sure you
+know the way to the Other-end-of-Nowhere?"
+
+Tom thought; and behold, he had forgotten it utterly.
+
+"That is because you took your eyes off me."
+
+Tom looked at her again, and recollected; and then looked away, and
+forgot in an instant.
+
+"But what am I to do, ma'am? For I can't keep looking at you when I am
+somewhere else."
+
+"You must do without me, as most people have to do, for nine hundred and
+ninety-nine thousandths of their lives; and look at the dog instead; for
+he knows the way well enough, and will not forget it. Besides, you may
+meet some very queer-tempered people there, who will not let you pass
+without this passport of mine, which you must hang round your neck and
+take care of; and, of course, as the dog will always go behind you, you
+must go the whole way backward."
+
+"Backward!" cried Tom. "Then I shall not be able to see my way."
+
+"On the contrary, if you look forward, you will not see a step before
+you, and be certain to go wrong; but, if you look behind you, and watch
+carefully whatever you have passed, and especially keep your eye on the
+dog, who goes by instinct, and therefore can't go wrong, then you will
+know what is coming next, as plainly as if you saw it in a
+looking-glass."
+
+Tom was very much astonished: but he obeyed her, for he had learnt
+always to believe what the fairies told him.
+
+"So it is, my dear child," said Mother Carey; "and I will tell you a
+story, which will show you that I am perfectly right, as it is my custom
+to be.
+
+"Once on a time, there were two brothers. One was called Prometheus,
+because he always looked before him, and boasted that he was wise
+beforehand. The other was called Epimetheus, because he always looked
+behind him, and did not boast at all; but said humbly, like the
+Irishman, that he had sooner prophesy after the event.
+
+[Illustration: "Pandora and her box."--_P. 224._]
+
+"Well, Prometheus was a very clever fellow, of course, and invented all
+sorts of wonderful things. But, unfortunately, when they were set to
+work, to work was just what they would not do: wherefore very little has
+come of them, and very little is left of them; and now nobody knows what
+they were, save a few archæological old gentlemen who scratch in queer
+corners, and find little there save Ptinum Furem, Blaptem Mortisagam,
+Acarum Horridum, and Tineam Laciniarum.
+
+"But Epimetheus was a very slow fellow, certainly, and went among men
+for a clod, and a muff, and a milksop, and a slowcoach, and a bloke, and
+a boodle, and so forth. And very little he did, for many years: but what
+he did, he never had to do over again.
+
+"And what happened at last? There came to the two brothers the most
+beautiful creature that ever was seen, Pandora by name; which means, All
+the gifts of the Gods. But because she had a strange box in her hand,
+this fanciful, forecasting, suspicious, prudential, theoretical,
+deductive, prophesying Prometheus, who was always settling what was
+going to happen, would have nothing to do with pretty Pandora and her
+box.
+
+"But Epimetheus took her and it, as he took everything that came; and
+married her for better for worse, as every man ought, whenever he has
+even the chance of a good wife. And they opened the box between them,
+of course, to see what was inside: for, else, of what possible use could
+it have been to them?
+
+"And out flew all the ills which flesh is heir to; all the children of
+the four great bogies, Self-will, Ignorance, Fear, and Dirt--for
+instance:
+
+          _Measles_,              _Famines_,
+          _Monks_,                _Quacks_,
+          _Scarlatina_,           _Unpaid bills_,
+          _Idols_,                _Tight stays_,
+          _Hooping-coughs_,       _Potatoes_,
+          _Popes_,                _Bad Wine_,
+          _Wars_,                 _Despots_,
+          _Peacemongers_,         _Demagogues_,
+          _And, worst of all, Naughty Boys and Girls._
+
+But one thing remained at the bottom of the box, and that was, Hope.
+
+"So Epimetheus got a great deal of trouble, as most men do in this
+world: but he got the three best things in the world into the bargain--a
+good wife, and experience, and hope: while Prometheus had just as much
+trouble, and a great deal more (as you will hear), of his own making;
+with nothing beside, save fancies spun out of his own brain, as a spider
+spins her web out of her stomach.
+
+"And Prometheus kept on looking before him so far ahead, that as he was
+running about with a box of lucifers (which were the only useful things
+he ever invented, and do as much harm as good), he trod on his own nose,
+and tumbled down (as most deductive philosophers do), whereby he set
+the Thames on fire; and they have hardly put it out again yet. So he had
+to be chained to the top of a mountain, with a vulture by him to give
+him a peck whenever he stirred, lest he should turn the whole world
+upside down with his prophecies and his theories.
+
+"But stupid old Epimetheus went working and grubbing on, with the help
+of his wife Pandora, always looking behind him to see what had happened,
+till he really learnt to know now and then what would happen next; and
+understood so well which side his bread was buttered, and which way the
+cat jumped, that he began to make things which would work, and go on
+working, too; to till and drain the ground, and to make looms, and
+ships, and railroads, and steam ploughs, and electric telegraphs, and
+all the things which you see in the Great Exhibition; and to foretell
+famine, and bad weather, and the price of stocks and (what is hardest of
+all) the next vagary of the great idol Whirligig, which some call Public
+Opinion; till at last he grew as rich as a Jew, and as fat as a farmer,
+and people thought twice before they meddled with him, but only once
+before they asked him to help them; for, because he earned his money
+well, he could afford to spend it well likewise.
+
+"And his children are the men of science, who get good lasting work done
+in the world; but the children of Prometheus are the fanatics, and the
+theorists, and the bigots, and the bores, and the noisy windy people,
+who go telling silly folk what will happen, instead of looking to see
+what has happened already."
+
+Now, was not Mother Carey's a wonderful story? And, I am happy to say,
+Tom believed it every word.
+
+For so it happened to Tom likewise. He was very sorely tried; for
+though, by keeping the dog to heels (or rather to toes, for he had to
+walk backward), he could see pretty well which way the dog was hunting,
+yet it was much slower work to go backwards than to go forwards. But,
+what was more trying still, no sooner had he got out of Peacepool, than
+there came running to him all the conjurers, fortune-tellers,
+astrologers, prophesiers, projectors, prestigiators, as many as were in
+those parts (and there are too many of them everywhere), Old Mother
+Shipton on her broomstick, with Merlin, Thomas the Rhymer, Gerbertus,
+Rabanus Maurus, Nostradamus, Zadkiel, Raphael, Moore, Old Nixon, and a
+good many in black coats and white ties who might have known better,
+considering in what century they were born, all bawling and screaming at
+him, "Look a-head, only look a-head; and we will show you what man never
+saw before, and right away to the end of the world!"
+
+But I am proud to say that, though Tom had not been to Cambridge--for,
+if he had, he would have certainly been senior wrangler--he was such a
+little dogged, hard, gnarly, foursquare brick of an English boy, that he
+never turned his head round once all the way from Peacepool to the
+Other-end-of-Nowhere: but kept his eye on the dog, and let him pick out
+the scent, hot or cold, straight or crooked, wet or dry, up hill or down
+dale; by which means he never made a single mistake, and saw all the
+wonderful and hitherto by-no-mortal-man-imagined things, which it is my
+duty to relate to you in the next chapter.
+
+          "Come to me, O ye children!
+             For I hear you at your play;
+           And the questions that perplexed me
+             Have vanished quite away.
+
+          "Ye open the Eastern windows,
+             That look towards the sun,
+           Where thoughts are singing swallows,
+             And the brooks of morning run.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+          "For what are all our contrivings
+             And the wisdom of our books,
+           When compared with your caresses,
+             And the gladness of your looks?
+
+          "Ye are better than all the ballads
+             That ever were sung or said;
+           For ye are living poems,
+             And all the rest are dead."--LONGFELLOW.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII AND LAST
+
+
+HERE begins the never-to-be-too-much-studied account of the
+nine-hundred-and-ninety-ninth part of the wonderful things which Tom saw
+on his journey to the Other-end-of-Nowhere; which all good little
+children are requested to read; that, if ever they get to the
+Other-end-of-Nowhere, as they may very probably do, they may not burst
+out laughing, or try to run away, or do any other silly vulgar thing
+which may offend Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid.
+
+Now, as soon as Tom had left Peacepool, he came to the white lap of the
+great sea-mother, ten thousand fathoms deep; where she makes world-pap
+all day long, for the steam-giants to knead, and the fire-giants to
+bake, till it has risen and hardened into mountain-loaves and
+island-cakes.
+
+And there Tom was very near being kneaded up in the world-pap, and
+turned into a fossil water-baby; which would have astonished the
+Geological Society of New Zealand some hundreds of thousands of years
+hence.
+
+For, as he walked along in the silence of the sea-twilight, on the soft
+white ocean floor, he was aware of a hissing, and a roaring, and a
+thumping, and a pumping, as of all the steam-engines in the world at
+once. And, when he came near, the water grew boiling-hot; not that that
+hurt him in the least: but it also grew as foul as gruel; and every
+moment he stumbled over dead shells, and fish, and sharks, and seals,
+and whales, which had been killed by the hot water.
+
+And at last he came to the great sea-serpent himself, lying dead at the
+bottom; and as he was too thick to scramble over, Tom had to walk round
+him three-quarters of a mile and more, which put him out of his path
+sadly; and, when he had got round, he came to the place called Stop. And
+there he stopped, and just in time.
+
+For he was on the edge of a vast hole in the bottom of the sea, up which
+was rushing and roaring clear steam enough to work all the engines in
+the world at once; so clear, indeed, that it was quite light at moments;
+and Tom could see almost up to the top of the water above, and down
+below into the pit for nobody knows how far.
+
+But, as soon as he bent his head over the edge, he got such a rap on the
+nose from pebbles, that he jumped back again; for the steam, as it
+rushed up, rasped away the sides of the hole, and hurled it up into the
+sea in a shower of mud and gravel and ashes; and then it spread all
+around, and sank again, and covered in the dead fish so fast, that
+before Tom had stood there five minutes he was buried in silt up to his
+ankles, and began to be afraid that he should have been buried alive.
+
+And perhaps he would have been, but that while he was thinking, the
+whole piece of ground on which he stood was torn off and blown upwards,
+and away flew Tom a mile up through the sea, wondering what was coming
+next.
+
+At last he stopped--thump! and found himself tight in the legs of the
+most wonderful bogy which he had ever seen.
+
+It had I don't know how many wings, as big as the sails of a windmill,
+and spread out in a ring like them; and with them it hovered over the
+steam which rushed up, as a ball hovers over the top of a fountain. And
+for every wing above it had a leg below, with a claw like a comb at the
+tip, and a nostril at the root; and in the middle it had no stomach and
+one eye; and as for its mouth, that was all on one side, as the
+madreporiform tubercle in a star-fish is. Well, it was a very strange
+beast; but no stranger than some dozens which you may see.
+
+"What do you want here," it cried quite peevishly, "getting in my way?"
+and it tried to drop Tom: but he held on tight to its claws, thinking
+himself safer where he was.
+
+So Tom told him who he was, and what his errand was. And the thing
+winked its one eye, and sneered:
+
+"I am too old to be taken in in that way. You are come after gold--I
+know you are."
+
+"Gold! What is gold?" And really Tom did not know; but: the suspicious
+old bogy would not believe him.
+
+But after a while Tom began to understand a little. For, as the vapours
+came up out of the hole, the bogy smelt them with his nostrils, and
+combed them and sorted them with his combs; and then, when they steamed
+up through them against his wings, they were changed into showers and
+streams of metal. From one wing fell gold-dust, and from another silver,
+and from another copper, and from another tin, and from another lead,
+and so on, and sank into the soft mud, into veins and cracks, and
+hardened there. Whereby it comes to pass that the rocks are full of
+metal.
+
+But, all of a sudden, somebody shut off the steam below, and the hole
+was left empty in an instant: and then down rushed the water into the
+hole, in such a whirlpool that the bogy spun round and round as fast as
+a teetotum. But that was all in his day's work, like a fair fall with
+the hounds; so all he did was to say to Tom--
+
+"Now is your time, youngster, to get down, if you are in earnest, which
+I don't believe."
+
+"You'll soon see," said Tom; and away he went, as bold as Baron
+Munchausen, and shot down the rushing cataract like a salmon at
+Ballisodare.
+
+And, when he got to the bottom, he swam till he was washed on shore safe
+upon the Other-end-of-Nowhere; and he found it, to his surprise, as most
+other people do, much more like This-End-of-Somewhere than he had been
+in the habit of expecting.
+
+And first he went through Waste-paper-land, where all the stupid books
+lie in heaps, up hill and down dale, like leaves in a winter wood; and
+there he saw people digging and grubbing among them, to make worse books
+out of bad ones, and thrashing chaff to save the dust of it; and a very
+good trade they drove thereby, especially among children.
+
+Then he went by the sea of slops, to the mountain of messes, and the
+territory of tuck, where the ground was very sticky, for it was all made
+of bad toffee (not Everton toffee, of course), and full of deep cracks
+and holes choked with wind-fallen fruit, and green gooseberries, and
+sloes, and crabs, and whinberries, and hips and haws, and all the nasty
+things which little children will eat, if they can get them. But the
+fairies hide them out of the way in that country as fast as they can,
+and very hard work they have, and of very little use it is. For as fast
+as they hide away the old trash, foolish and wicked people make fresh
+trash full of lime and poisonous paints, and actually go and steal
+receipts out of old Madame Science's big book to invent poisons for
+little children, and sell them at wakes and fairs and tuck-shops. Very
+well. Let them go on. Dr. Letheby and Dr. Hassall cannot catch them,
+though they are setting traps for them all day long. But the Fairy with
+the birch-rod will catch them all in time, and make them begin at one
+corner of their shops, and eat their way out at the other: by which time
+they will have got such stomach-aches as will cure them of poisoning
+little children.
+
+Next he saw all the little people in the world, writing all the little
+books in the world, about all the other little people in the world;
+probably because they had no great people to write about: and if the
+names of the books were not Squeeky, nor the Pump-lighter, nor the
+Narrow Narrow World, nor the Hills of the Chattermuch, nor the
+Children's Twaddeday, why then they were something else. And all the
+rest of the little people in the world read the books, and thought
+themselves each as good as the President; and perhaps they were right,
+for every one knows his own business best. But Tom thought he would
+sooner have a jolly good fairy tale, about Jack the Giant-killer or
+Beauty and the Beast, which taught him something that he didn't know
+already.
+
+And next he came to the centre of Creation (the hub, they call it
+there), which lies in latitude 42.21° south, and longitude 108.56° east.
+
+And there he found all the wise people instructing mankind in the
+science of spirit-rapping, while their house was burning over their
+heads: and when Tom told them of the fire, they held an indignation
+meeting forthwith, and unanimously determined to hang Tom's dog for
+coming into their country with gunpowder in his mouth. Tom couldn't help
+saying that though they did fancy they had carried all the wit away with
+them out of Lincolnshire two hundred years ago, yet if they had had one
+such Lincolnshire nobleman among them as good old Lord Yarborough, he
+would have called for the fire-engines before he hanged other people's
+dogs. But it was of no use, and the dog was hanged: and Tom couldn't
+even have his carcase; for they had abolished the have-his-carcase act
+in that country, for fear lest when rogues fell out, honest men should
+come by their own. And so they would have succeeded perfectly, as they
+always do, only that (as they also always do) they failed in one little
+particular, viz. that the dog would not die, being a water-dog, but bit
+their fingers so abominably that they were forced to let him go, and Tom
+likewise, as British subjects. Whereon they recommenced rapping for the
+spirits of their fathers; and very much astonished the poor old spirits
+were when they came, and saw how, according to the laws of Mrs.
+Bedonebyasyoudid, their descendants had weakened their constitution by
+hard living.
+
+Then came Tom to the Island of Polupragmosyne (which some call Rogues'
+Harbour; but they are wrong; for that is in the middle of Bramshill
+Bushes, and the county police have cleared it out long ago). There every
+one knows his neighbour's business better than his own; and a very noisy
+place it is, as might be expected, considering that all the inhabitants
+are _ex officio_ on the wrong side of the house in the "Parliament of
+Man, and the Federation of the World"; and are always making wry mouths,
+and crying that the fairies' grapes were sour.
+
+There Tom saw ploughs drawing horses, nails driving hammers, birds'
+nests taking boys, books making authors, bulls keeping china-shops,
+monkeys shaving cats, dead dogs drilling live lions, blind brigadiers
+shelfed as principals of colleges, play-actors not in the least shelfed
+as popular preachers; and, in short, every one set to do something which
+he had not learnt, because in what he had learnt, or pretended to learn,
+he had failed.
+
+There stands the Pantheon of the Great Unsuccessful, from the builders
+of the Tower of Babel to those of the Trafalgar Fountains; in which
+politicians lecture on the constitutions which ought to have marched,
+conspirators on the revolutions which ought to have succeeded,
+economists on the schemes which ought to have made every one's fortune,
+and projectors on the discoveries which ought to have set the Thames on
+fire. There cobblers lecture on orthopedy (whatsoever that may be)
+because they cannot sell their shoes; and poets on Æsthetics (whatsoever
+that may be) because they cannot sell their poetry. There philosophers
+demonstrate that England would be the freest and richest country in the
+world, if she would only turn Papist again; penny-a-liners abuse the
+_Times_, because they have not wit enough to get on its staff; and young
+ladies walk about with lockets of Charles the First's hair (or of
+somebody else's, when the Jews' genuine stock is used up), inscribed
+with the neat and appropriate legend--which indeed is popular through
+all that land, and which, I hope, you will learn to translate in due
+time and to perpend likewise:--
+
+          "_Victrix causa diis placuit, sed victa puellis._"
+
+When he got into the middle of the town, they all set on him at once,
+to show him his way; or rather, to show him that he did not know his
+way; for as for asking him what way he wanted to go, no one ever thought
+of that.
+
+But one pulled him hither, and another poked him thither, and a third
+cried--
+
+"You mustn't go west, I tell you; it is destruction to go west."
+
+"But I am not going west, as you may see," said Tom.
+
+And another, "The east lies here, my dear; I assure you this is the
+east."
+
+"But I don't want to go east," said Tom.
+
+"Well, then, at all events, whichever way you are going, you are going
+wrong," cried they all with one voice--which was the only thing which
+they ever agreed about; and all pointed at once to all the
+thirty-and-two points of the compass, till Tom thought all the
+sign-posts in England had got together, and fallen fighting.
+
+And whether he would have ever escaped out of the town, it is hard to
+say, if the dog had not taken it into his head that they were going to
+pull his master in pieces, and tackled them so sharply about the
+gastrocnemius muscle, that he gave them some business of their own to
+think of at last; and while they were rubbing their bitten calves, Tom
+and the dog got safe away.
+
+On the borders of that island he found Gotham, where the wise men live;
+the same who dragged the pond because the moon had fallen into it, and
+planted a hedge round the cuckoo, to keep spring all the year. And he
+found them bricking up the town gate, because it was so wide that little
+folks could not get through. And, when he asked why, they told him they
+were expanding their liturgy. So he went on; for it was no business of
+his: only he could not help saying that in his country, if the kitten
+could not get in at the same hole as the cat, she might stay outside and
+mew.
+
+But he saw the end of such fellows, when he came to the island of the
+Golden Asses, where nothing but thistles grow. For there they were all
+turned into mokes with ears a yard long, for meddling with matters which
+they do not understand, as Lucius did in the story. And like him, mokes
+they must remain, till, by the laws of development, the thistles develop
+into roses. Till then, they must comfort themselves with the thought,
+that the longer their ears are, the thicker their hides; and so a good
+beating don't hurt them.
+
+Then came Tom to the great land of Hearsay, in which are no less than
+thirty and odd kings, beside half a dozen Republics, and perhaps more by
+next mail.
+
+And there he fell in with a deep, dark, deadly, and destructive war,
+waged by the princes and potentates of those parts, both spiritual and
+temporal, against what do you think? One thing I am sure of. That unless
+I told you, you would never know; nor how they waged that war either;
+for all their strategy and art military consisted in the safe and easy
+process of stopping their ears and screaming, "Oh, don't tell us!" and
+then running away.
+
+So when Tom came into that land, he found them all, high and low, man,
+woman, and child, running for their lives day and night continually, and
+entreating not to be told they didn't know what: only the land being an
+island, and they having a dislike to the water (being a musty lot for
+the most part), they ran round and round the shore for ever, which (as
+the island was exactly of the same circumference as the planet on which
+we have the honour of living) was hard work, especially to those who had
+business to look after. But before them, as bandmaster and fugleman, ran
+a gentleman shearing a pig; the melodious strains of which animal led
+them for ever, if not to conquest, still to flight; and kept up their
+spirits mightily with the thought that they would at least have the
+pig's wool for their pains.
+
+And running after them, day and night, came such a poor, lean, seedy,
+hard-worked old giant, as ought to have been cockered up, and had a good
+dinner given him, and a good wife found him, and been set to play with
+little children; and then he would have been a very presentable old
+fellow after all; for he had a heart, though it was considerably
+overgrown with brains.
+
+He was made up principally of fish bones and parchment, put together
+with wire and Canada balsam; and smelt strongly of spirits, though he
+never drank anything but water: but spirits he used somehow, there was
+no denying. He had a great pair of spectacles on his nose, and a
+butterfly-net in one hand, and a geological hammer in the other; and
+was hung all over with pockets, full of collecting boxes, bottles,
+microscopes, telescopes, barometers, ordnance maps, scalpels, forceps,
+photographic apparatus, and all other tackle for finding out everything
+about everything, and a little more too. And, most strange of all, he
+was running not forwards but backwards, as fast as he could.
+
+Away all the good folks ran from him, except Tom, who stood his ground
+and dodged between his legs; and the giant, when he had passed him,
+looked down, and cried, as if he was quite pleased and comforted,--
+
+"What? who are you? And you actually don't run away, like all the rest?"
+But he had to take his spectacles off, Tom remarked, in order to see him
+plainly.
+
+Tom told him who he was; and the giant pulled out a bottle and a cork
+instantly, to collect him with.
+
+But Tom was too sharp for that, and dodged between his legs and in front
+of him; and then the giant could not see him at all.
+
+"No, no, no!" said Tom, "I've not been round the world, and through the
+world, and up to Mother Carey's haven, beside being caught in a net and
+called a Holothurian and a Cephalopod, to be bottled up by any old giant
+like you."
+
+And when the giant understood what a great traveller Tom had been, he
+made a truce with him at once, and would have kept him there to this day
+to pick his brains, so delighted was he at finding any one to tell him
+what he did not know before.
+
+"Ah, you lucky little dog!" said he at last, quite simply--for he was
+the simplest, pleasantest, honestest, kindliest old Dominie Sampson of a
+giant that ever turned the world upside down without intending it--"ah,
+you lucky little dog! If I had only been where you have been, to see
+what you have seen!"
+
+"Well," said Tom, "if you want to do that, you had best put your head
+under water for a few hours, as I did, and turn into a water-baby, or
+some other baby, and then you might have a chance."
+
+"Turn into a baby, eh? If I could do that, and know what was happening
+to me for but one hour, I should know everything then, and be at rest.
+But I can't; I can't be a little child again; and I suppose if I could,
+it would be no use, because then I should know nothing about what was
+happening to me. Ah, you lucky little dog!" said the poor old giant.
+
+"But why do you run after all these poor people?" said Tom, who liked
+the giant very much.
+
+"My dear, it's they that have been running after me, father and son, for
+hundreds and hundreds of years, throwing stones at me till they have
+knocked off my spectacles fifty times, and calling me a malignant and a
+turbaned Turk, who beat a Venetian and traduced the State--goodness only
+knows what they mean, for I never read poetry--and hunting me round and
+round--though catch me they can't, for every time I go over the same
+ground, I go the faster, and grow the bigger. While all I want is to be
+friends with them, and to tell them something to their advantage, like
+Mr. Joseph Ady: only somehow they are so strangely afraid of hearing it.
+But, I suppose I am not a man of the world, and have no tact."
+
+"But why don't you turn round and tell them so?"
+
+"Because I can't. You see, I am one of the sons of Epimetheus, and must
+go backwards, if I am to go at all."
+
+"But why don't you stop, and let them come up to you?"
+
+"Why, my dear, only think. If I did, all the butterflies and
+cockyolybirds would fly past me, and then I should catch no more new
+species, and should grow rusty and mouldy, and die. And I don't intend
+to do that, my dear; for I have a destiny before me, they say: though
+what it is I don't know, and don't care."
+
+"Don't care?" said Tom.
+
+"No. Do the duty which lies nearest you, and catch the first beetle you
+come across, is my motto; and I have thriven by it for some hundred
+years. Now I must go on. Dear me, while I have been talking to you, at
+least nine new species have escaped me."
+
+And on went the giant, behind before, like a bull in a china-shop, till
+he ran into the steeple of the great idol temple (for they are all
+idolaters in those parts, of course, else they would never be afraid of
+giants), and knocked the upper half clean off, hurting himself horribly
+about the small of the back.
+
+But little he cared; for as soon as the ruins of the steeple were well
+between his legs, he poked and peered among the falling stones, and
+shifted his spectacles, and pulled out his pocket-magnifier, and cried--
+
+"An entirely new Oniscus, and three obscure Podurellæ! Besides a moth
+which M. le Roi des Papillons (though he, like all Frenchmen, is given
+to hasty inductions) says is confined to the limits of the Glacial
+Drift. This is most important!"
+
+And down he sat on the nave of the temple (not being a man of the world)
+to examine his Podurellæ. Whereon (as was to be expected) the roof caved
+in bodily, smashing the idols, and sending the priests flying out of
+doors and windows, like rabbits out of a burrow when a ferret goes in.
+
+But he never heeded; for out of the dust flew a bat, and the giant had
+him in a moment.
+
+"Dear me! This is even more important! Here is a cognate species to that
+which Macgilliwaukie Brown insists is confined to the Buddhist temples
+of Little Thibet; and now when I look at it, it may be only a variety
+produced by difference of climate!"
+
+And having bagged his bat, up he got, and on he went; while all the
+people ran, being in none the better humour for having their temple
+smashed for the sake of three obscure species of Podurella, and a
+Buddhist bat.
+
+"Well," thought Tom, "this is a very pretty quarrel, with a good deal to
+be said on both sides. But it is no business of mine."
+
+And no more it was, because he was a water-baby, and had the original
+sow by the right ear; which you will never have, unless you be a baby,
+whether of the water, the land, or the air, matters not, provided you
+can only keep on continually being a baby.
+
+So the giant ran round after the people, and the people ran round after
+the giant, and they are running unto this day for aught I know, or do
+not know; and will run till either he, or they, or both, turn into
+little children. And then, as Shakespeare says (and therefore it must be
+true)--
+
+          "_Jack shall have Gill
+            Nought shall go ill
+            The man shall have his mare again, and all go well._"
+
+Then Tom came to a very famous island, which was called, in the days of
+the great traveller Captain Gulliver, the Isle of Laputa. But Mrs.
+Bedonebyasyoudid has named it over again the Isle of Tomtoddies, all
+heads and no bodies.
+
+And when Tom came near it, he heard such a grumbling and grunting and
+growling and wailing and weeping and whining that he thought people must
+be ringing little pigs, or cropping puppies' ears, or drowning kittens:
+but when he came nearer still, he began to hear words among the noise;
+which was the Tomtoddies' song which they sing morning and evening, and
+all night too, to their great idol Examination--
+
+          "_I can't learn my lesson: the examiner's coming!_"
+
+And that was the only song which they knew.
+
+And when Tom got on shore the first thing he saw was a great pillar, on
+one side of which was inscribed, "Playthings not allowed here"; at which
+he was so shocked that he would not stay to see what was written on the
+other side. Then he looked round for the people of the island: but
+instead of men, women, and children, he found nothing but turnips and
+radishes, beet and mangold wurzel, without a single green leaf among
+them, and half of them burst and decayed, with toadstools growing out of
+them. Those which were left began crying to Tom, in half a dozen
+different languages at once, and all of them badly spoken, "I can't
+learn my lesson; do come and help me!" And one cried, "Can you show me
+how to extract this square root?"
+
+And another, "Can you tell me the distance between [Greek: a] Lyræ and
+[Greek: b] Camelopardis?"
+
+And another, "What is the latitude and longitude of Snooksville, in
+Noman's County, Oregon, U.S.?"
+
+And another, "What was the name of Mutius Scævola's thirteenth cousin's
+grandmother's maid's cat?"
+
+And another, "How long would it take a school-inspector of average
+activity to tumble head over heels from London to York?"
+
+And another, "Can you tell me the name of a place that nobody ever heard
+of, where nothing ever happened, in a country which has not been
+discovered yet?"
+
+And another, "Can you show me how to correct this hopelessly corrupt
+passage of Graidiocolosyrtus Tabenniticus, on the cause why crocodiles
+have no tongues?"
+
+And so on, and so on, and so on, till one would have thought they were
+all trying for tide-waiters' places, or cornetcies in the heavy
+dragoons.
+
+"And what good on earth will it do you if I did tell you?" quoth Tom.
+
+Well, they didn't know that: all they knew was the examiner was coming.
+
+Then Tom stumbled on the hugest and softest nimblecomequick turnip you
+ever saw filling a hole in a crop of swedes, and it cried to him, "Can
+you tell me anything at all about anything you like?"
+
+"About what?" says Tom.
+
+"About anything you like; for as fast as I learn things I forget them
+again. So my mamma says that my intellect is not adapted for methodic
+science, and says that I must go in for general information."
+
+Tom told him that he did not know general information, nor any officers
+in the army; only he had a friend once that went for a drummer: but he
+could tell him a great many strange things which he had seen in his
+travels.
+
+So he told him prettily enough, while the poor turnip listened very
+carefully; and the more he listened, the more he forgot, and the more
+water ran out of him.
+
+Tom thought he was crying: but it was only his poor brains running away,
+from being worked so hard; and as Tom talked, the unhappy turnip
+streamed down all over with juice, and split and shrank till nothing was
+left of him but rind and water; whereat Tom ran away in a fright, for he
+thought he might be taken up for killing the turnip.
+
+But, on the contrary, the turnip's parents were highly delighted, and
+considered him a saint and a martyr, and put up a long inscription over
+his tomb about his wonderful talents, early development, and
+unparalleled precocity. Were they not a foolish couple? But there was a
+still more foolish couple next to them, who were beating a wretched
+little radish, no bigger than my thumb, for sullenness and obstinacy and
+wilful stupidity, and never knew that the reason why it couldn't learn
+or hardly even speak was, that there was a great worm inside it eating
+out all its brains. But even they are no foolisher than some hundred
+score of papas and mammas, who fetch the rod when they ought to fetch a
+new toy, and send to the dark cupboard instead of to the doctor.
+
+Tom was so puzzled and frightened with all he saw, that he was longing
+to ask the meaning of it; and at last he stumbled over a respectable
+old stick lying half covered with earth. But a very stout and worthy
+stick it was, for it belonged to good Roger Ascham in old time, and had
+carved on its head King Edward the Sixth, with the Bible in his hand.
+
+"You see," said the stick, "there were as pretty little children once as
+you could wish to see, and might have been so still if they had been
+only left to grow up like human beings, and then handed over to me; but
+their foolish fathers and mothers, instead of letting them pick flowers,
+and make dirt-pies, and get birds' nests, and dance round the gooseberry
+bush, as little children should, kept them always at lessons, working,
+working, working, learning week-day lessons all week-days, and Sunday
+lessons all Sunday, and weekly examinations every Saturday, and monthly
+examinations every month, and yearly examinations every year, everything
+seven times over, as if once was not enough, and enough as good as a
+feast--till their brains grew big, and their bodies grew small, and they
+were all changed into turnips, with little but water inside; and still
+their foolish parents actually pick the leaves off them as fast as they
+grow, lest they should have anything green about them."
+
+"Ah!" said Tom, "if dear Mrs. Doasyouwouldbedoneby knew of it she would
+send them a lot of tops, and balls, and marbles, and ninepins, and make
+them all as jolly as sand-boys."
+
+"It would be no use," said the stick. "They can't play now, if they
+tried. Don't you see how their legs have turned to roots and grown into
+the ground, by never taking any exercise, but sapping and moping always
+in the same place? But here comes the Examiner-of-all-Examiners. So you
+had better get away, I warn you, or he will examine you and your dog
+into the bargain, and set him to examine all the other dogs, and you to
+examine all the other water-babies. There is no escaping out of his
+hands, for his nose is nine thousand miles long, and can go down
+chimneys, and through keyholes, upstairs, downstairs, in my lady's
+chamber, examining all little boys, and the little boys' tutors
+likewise. But when he is thrashed--so Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid has promised
+me--I shall have the thrashing of him: and if I don't lay it on with a
+will it's a pity."
+
+Tom went off: but rather slowly and surlily; for he was somewhat minded
+to face this same Examiner-of-all-Examiners, who came striding among the
+poor turnips, binding heavy burdens and grievous to be borne, and laying
+them on little children's shoulders, like the Scribes and Pharisees of
+old, and not touching the same with one of his fingers; for he had
+plenty of money, and a fine house to live in, and so forth; which was
+more than the poor little turnips had.
+
+But when he got near, he looked so big and burly and dictatorial, and
+shouted so loud to Tom, to come and be examined, that Tom ran for his
+life, and the dog too. And really it was time; for the poor turnips, in
+their hurry and fright, crammed themselves so fast to be ready for the
+Examiner, that they burst and popped by dozens all round him, till the
+place sounded like Aldershot on a field-day, and Tom thought he should
+be blown into the air, dog and all.
+
+As he went down to the shore he passed the poor turnip's new tomb. But
+Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid had taken away the epitaph about talents and
+precocity and development, and put up one of her own instead which Tom
+thought much more sensible:--
+
+          "_Instruction sore long time I bore,
+              And cramming was in vain;
+            Till heaven did please my woes to ease
+              With water on the brain._"
+
+So Tom jumped into the sea, and swam on his way, singing:--
+
+          "_Farewell, Tomtoddies all; I thank my stars
+            That nought I know save those three royal r's:
+            Reading and riting sure, with rithmetick,
+            Will help a lad of sense through thin and thick._"
+
+Whereby you may see that Tom was no poet: but no more was John Bunyan,
+though he was as wise a man as you will meet in a month of Sundays.
+
+And next he came to Oldwivesfabledom, where the folks were all heathens,
+and worshipped a howling ape.
+
+And there he found a little boy sitting in the middle of the road, and
+crying bitterly.
+
+"What are you crying for?" said Tom.
+
+"Because I am not as frightened as I could wish to be."
+
+"Not frightened? You are a queer little chap: but, if you want to be
+frightened, here goes--Boo!"
+
+"Ah," said the little boy, "that is very kind of you; but I don't feel
+that it has made any impression."
+
+Tom offered to upset him, punch him, stamp on him, fettle him over the
+head with a brick, or anything else whatsoever which would give him the
+slightest comfort.
+
+But he only thanked Tom very civilly, in fine long words which he had
+heard other folk use, and which, therefore, he thought were fit and
+proper to use himself; and cried on till his papa and mamma came, and
+sent off for the Powwow man immediately. And a very good-natured
+gentleman and lady they were, though they were heathens; and talked
+quite pleasantly to Tom about his travels, till the Powwow man arrived,
+with his thunderbox under his arm.
+
+And a well-fed, ill-favoured gentleman he was, as ever served Her
+Majesty at Portland. Tom was a little frightened at first; for he
+thought it was Grimes. But he soon saw his mistake: for Grimes always
+looked a man in the face; and this fellow never did. And when he spoke,
+it was fire and smoke; and when he sneezed, it was squibs and crackers;
+and when he cried (which he did whenever it paid him), it was boiling
+pitch; and some of it was sure to stick.
+
+"Here we are again!" cried he, like the clown in a pantomime. "So you
+can't feel frightened, my little dear--eh? I'll do that for you. I'll
+make an impression on you! Yah! Boo! Whirroo! Hullabaloo!"
+
+And he rattled, thumped, brandished his thunderbox, yelled, shouted,
+raved, roared, stamped, and danced corrobory like any black fellow; and
+then he touched a spring in the thunderbox, and out popped turnip-ghosts
+and magic-lanthorns and pasteboard bogies and spring-heeled Jacks, and
+sallaballas, with such a horrid din, clatter, clank, roll, rattle, and
+roar, that the little boy turned up the whites of his eyes, and fainted
+right away.
+
+And at that his poor heathen papa and mamma were as much delighted as if
+they had found a gold mine; and fell down upon their knees before the
+Powwow man, and gave him a palanquin with a pole of solid silver and
+curtains of cloth of gold; and carried him about in it on their own
+backs: but as soon as they had taken him up, the pole stuck to their
+shoulders, and they could not set him down any more, but carried him on
+willynilly, as Sinbad carried the old man of the sea: which was a
+pitiable sight to see; for the father was a very brave officer, and wore
+two swords and a blue button; and the mother was as pretty a lady as
+ever had pinched feet like a Chinese. But you see, they had chosen to do
+a foolish thing just once too often; so, by the laws of Mrs.
+Bedonebyasyoudid, they had to go on doing it whether they chose or not,
+till the coming of the Cocqcigrues.
+
+Ah! don't you wish that some one would go and convert those poor
+heathens, and teach them not to frighten their little children into
+fits?
+
+"Now, then," said the Powwow man to Tom, "wouldn't you like to be
+frightened, my little dear? For I can see plainly that you are a very
+wicked, naughty, graceless, reprobate boy."
+
+"You're another," quoth Tom, very sturdily. And when the man ran at him,
+and cried "Boo!" Tom ran at him in return, and cried "Boo!" likewise,
+right in his face, and set the little dog upon him; and at his legs the
+dog went.
+
+At which, if you will believe it, the fellow turned tail, thunderbox and
+all, with a "Woof!" like an old sow on the common; and ran for his life,
+screaming, "Help! thieves! murder! fire! He is going to kill me! I am a
+ruined man! He will murder me; and break, burn, and destroy my precious
+and invaluable thunderbox; and then you will have no more
+thunder-showers in the land. Help! help! help!"
+
+At which the papa and mamma and all the people of Oldwivesfabledom flew
+at Tom, shouting, "Oh, the wicked, impudent, hard-hearted, graceless
+boy! Beat him, kick him, shoot him, drown him, hang him, burn him!" and
+so forth: but luckily they had nothing to shoot, hang, or burn him with,
+for the fairies had hid all the killing-tackle out of the way a little
+while before; so they could only pelt him with stones; and some of the
+stones went clean through him, and came out the other side. But he did
+not mind that a bit; for the holes closed up again as fast as they were
+made, because he was a water-baby. However, he was very glad when he was
+safe out of the country, for the noise there made him all but deaf.
+
+Then he came to a very quiet place, called Leaveheavenalone. And there
+the sun was drawing water out of the sea to make steam-threads, and the
+wind was twisting them up to make cloud-patterns, till they had worked
+between them the loveliest wedding veil of Chantilly lace, and hung it
+up in their own Crystal Palace for any one to buy who could afford it;
+while the good old sea never grudged, for she knew they would pay her
+back honestly. So the sun span, and the wind wove, and all went well
+with the great steam-loom; as is likely, considering--and
+considering--and considering--
+
+And at last, after innumerable adventures, each more wonderful than the
+last, he saw before him a huge building, much bigger, and--what is most
+surprising--a little uglier than a certain new lunatic asylum, but not
+built quite of the same materials. None of it, at least--or, indeed, for
+aught that I ever saw, any part of any other building whatsoever--is
+cased with nine-inch brick inside and out, and filled up with rubble
+between the walls, in order that any gentleman who has been confined
+during Her Majesty's pleasure may be unconfined during his own pleasure,
+and take a walk in the neighbouring park to improve his spirits, after
+an hour's light and wholesome labour with his dinner-fork or one of the
+legs of his iron bedstead. No. The walls of this building were built on
+an entirely different principle, which need not be described, as it has
+not yet been discovered.
+
+Tom walked towards this great building, wondering what it was, and
+having a strange fancy that he might find Mr. Grimes inside it, till he
+saw running toward him, and shouting "Stop!" three or four people, who,
+when they came nearer, were nothing else than policemen's truncheons,
+running along without legs or arms.
+
+Tom was not astonished. He was long past that. Besides, he had seen the
+naviculæ in the water move nobody knows how, a hundred times, without
+arms, or legs, or anything to stand in their stead. Neither was he
+frightened; for he had been doing no harm.
+
+So he stopped; and, when the foremost truncheon came up and asked his
+business, he showed Mother Carey's pass; and the truncheon looked at it
+in the oddest fashion; for he had one eye in the middle of his upper
+end, so that when he looked at anything, being quite stiff, he had to
+slope himself, and poke himself, till it was a wonder why he did not
+tumble over; but, being quite full of the spirit of justice (as all
+policemen, and their truncheons, ought to be), he was always in a
+position of stable equilibrium, whichever way he put himself.
+
+"All right--pass on," said he at last. And then he added: "I had better
+go with you, young man." And Tom had no objection, for such company was
+both respectable and safe; so the truncheon coiled its thong neatly
+round its handle, to prevent tripping itself up--for the thong had got
+loose in running--and marched on by Tom's side.
+
+"Why have you no policeman to carry you?" asked Tom, after a while.
+
+"Because we are not like those clumsy-made truncheons in the land-world,
+which cannot go without having a whole man to carry them about. We do
+our own work for ourselves; and do it very well, though I say it who
+should not."
+
+"Then why have you a thong to your handle?" asked Tom.
+
+"To hang ourselves up by, of course, when we are off duty."
+
+Tom had got his answer, and had no more to say, till they came up to the
+great iron door of the prison. And there the truncheon knocked twice,
+with its own head.
+
+A wicket in the door opened, and out looked a tremendous old brass
+blunderbuss charged up to the muzzle with slugs, who was the porter; and
+Tom started back a little at the sight of him.
+
+"What case is this?" he asked in a deep voice, out of his broad bell
+mouth.
+
+"If you please, sir, it is no case; only a young gentleman from her
+ladyship, who wants to see Grimes, the master-sweep."
+
+"Grimes?" said the blunderbuss. And he pulled in his muzzle, perhaps to
+look over his prison-lists.
+
+"Grimes is up chimney No. 345," he said from inside. "So the young
+gentleman had better go on to the roof."
+
+Tom looked up at the enormous wall, which seemed at least ninety miles
+high, and wondered how he should ever get up: but, when he hinted that
+to the truncheon, it settled the matter in a moment. For it whisked
+round, and gave him such a shove behind as sent him up to the roof in no
+time, with his little dog under his arm.
+
+And there he walked along the leads, till he met another truncheon, and
+told him his errand.
+
+"Very good," it said. "Come along: but it will be of no use. He is the
+most unremorseful, hard-hearted, foul-mouthed fellow I have in charge;
+and thinks about nothing but beer and pipes, which are not allowed here,
+of course."
+
+So they walked along over the leads, and very sooty they were, and Tom
+thought the chimneys must want sweeping very much. But he was surprised
+to see that the soot did not stick to his feet, or dirty them in the
+least. Neither did the live coals, which were lying about in plenty,
+burn him; for, being a water-baby, his radical humours were of a moist
+and cold nature, as you may read at large in Lemnius, Cardan, Van
+Helmont, and other gentlemen, who knew as much as they could, and no man
+can know more.
+
+And at last they came to chimney No. 345. Out of the top of it, his head
+and shoulders just showing, stuck poor Mr. Grimes, so sooty, and
+bleared, and ugly, that Tom could hardly bear to look at him. And in his
+mouth was a pipe; but it was not a-light; though he was pulling at it
+with all his might.
+
+"Attention, Mr. Grimes," said the truncheon; "here is a gentleman come
+to see you."
+
+But Mr. Grimes only said bad words; and kept grumbling, "My pipe won't
+draw. My pipe won't draw."
+
+"Keep a civil tongue, and attend!" said the truncheon; and popped up
+just like Punch, hitting Grimes such a crack over the head with itself,
+that his brains rattled inside like a dried walnut in its shell. He
+tried to get his hands out, and rub the place: but he could not, for
+they were stuck fast in the chimney. Now he was forced to attend.
+
+"Hey!" he said, "why, it's Tom! I suppose you have come here to laugh at
+me, you spiteful little atomy?"
+
+Tom assured him he had not, but only wanted to help him.
+
+"I don't want anything except beer, and that I can't get; and a light to
+this bothering pipe, and that I can't get either."
+
+"I'll get you one," said Tom; and he took up a live coal (there were
+plenty lying about) and put it to Grimes' pipe: but it went out
+instantly.
+
+"It's no use," said the truncheon, leaning itself up against the chimney
+and looking on. "I tell you, it is no use. His heart is so cold that it
+freezes everything that comes near him. You will see that presently,
+plain enough."
+
+"Oh, of course, it's my fault. Everything's always my fault," said
+Grimes. "Now don't go to hit me again" (for the truncheon started
+upright, and looked very wicked); "you know, if my arms were only free,
+you daren't hit me then."
+
+The truncheon leant back against the chimney, and took no notice of the
+personal insult, like a well-trained policeman as it was, though he was
+ready enough to avenge any transgression against morality or order.
+
+"But can't I help you in any other way? Can't I help you to get out of
+this chimney?" said Tom.
+
+"No," interposed the truncheon; "he has come to the place where
+everybody must help themselves; and he will find it out, I hope, before
+he has done with me."
+
+"Oh, yes," said Grimes, "of course it's me. Did I ask to be brought here
+into the prison? Did I ask to be set to sweep your foul chimneys? Did I
+ask to have lighted straw put under me to make me go up? Did I ask to
+stick fast in the very first chimney of all, because it was so
+shamefully clogged up with soot? Did I ask to stay here--I don't know
+how long--a hundred years, I do believe, and never get my pipe, nor my
+beer, nor nothing fit for a beast, let alone a man?"
+
+"No," answered a solemn voice behind. "No more did Tom, when you behaved
+to him in the very same way."
+
+It was Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid. And, when the truncheon saw her, it
+started bolt upright--Attention!--and made such a low bow, that if it
+had not been full of the spirit of justice, it must have tumbled on its
+end, and probably hurt its one eye. And Tom made his bow too.
+
+"Oh, ma'am," he said, "don't think about me; that's all past and gone,
+and good times and bad times and all times pass over. But may not I help
+poor Mr. Grimes? Mayn't I try and get some of these bricks away, that he
+may move his arms?"
+
+"You may try, of course," she said.
+
+So Tom pulled and tugged at the bricks: but he could not move one. And
+then he tried to wipe Mr. Grimes' face: but the soot would not come off.
+
+"Oh, dear!" he said. "I have come all this way, through all these
+terrible places, to help you, and now I am of no use at all."
+
+"You had best leave me alone," said Grimes; "you are a good-natured
+forgiving little chap, and that's truth; but you'd best be off. The
+hail's coming on soon, and it will beat the eyes out of your little
+head."
+
+"What hail?"
+
+"Why, hail that falls every evening here; and, till it comes close to
+me, it's like so much warm rain: but then it turns to hail over my head,
+and knocks me about like small shot."
+
+"That hail will never come any more," said the strange lady. "I have
+told you before what it was. It was your mother's tears, those which
+she shed when she prayed for you by her bedside; but your cold heart
+froze it into hail. But she is gone to heaven now, and will weep no more
+for her graceless son."
+
+Then Grimes was silent awhile; and then he looked very sad.
+
+"So my old mother's gone, and I never there to speak to her! Ah! a good
+woman she was, and might have been a happy one, in her little school
+there in Vendale, if it hadn't been for me and my bad ways."
+
+"Did she keep the school in Vendale?" asked Tom. And then he told Grimes
+all the story of his going to her house, and how she could not abide the
+sight of a chimney-sweep, and then how kind she was, and how he turned
+into a water-baby.
+
+"Ah!" said Grimes, "good reason she had to hate the sight of a
+chimney-sweep. I ran away from her and took up with the sweeps, and
+never let her know where I was, nor sent her a penny to help her, and
+now it's too late--too late!" said Mr. Grimes.
+
+And he began crying and blubbering like a great baby, till his pipe
+dropped out of his mouth, and broke all to bits.
+
+"Oh, dear, if I was but a little chap in Vendale again, to see the clear
+beck, and the apple-orchard, and the yew-hedge, how different I would go
+on! But it's too late now. So you go along, you kind little chap, and
+don't stand to look at a man crying, that's old enough to be your
+father, and never feared the face of man, nor of worse neither. But I'm
+beat now, and beat I must be. I've made my bed, and I must lie on it.
+Foul I would be, and foul I am, as an Irishwoman said to me once; and
+little I heeded it. It's all my own fault: but it's too late." And he
+cried so bitterly that Tom began crying too.
+
+"Never too late," said the fairy, in such a strange soft new voice that
+Tom looked up at her; and she was so beautiful for the moment, that Tom
+half fancied she was her sister.
+
+No more was it too late. For, as poor Grimes cried and blubbered on, his
+own tears did what his mother's could not do, and Tom's could not do,
+and nobody's on earth could do for him; for they washed the soot off his
+face and off his clothes; and then they washed the mortar away from
+between the bricks; and the chimney crumbled down; and Grimes began to
+get out of it.
+
+Up jumped the truncheon, and was going to hit him on the crown a
+tremendous thump, and drive him down again like a cork into a bottle.
+But the strange lady put it aside.
+
+"Will you obey me if I give you a chance?"
+
+"As you please, ma'am. You're stronger than me--that I know too well,
+and wiser than me, I know too well also. And, as for being my own
+master, I've fared ill enough with that as yet. So whatever your
+ladyship pleases to order me; for I'm beat, and that's the truth."
+
+"Be it so then--you may come out. But remember, disobey me again, and
+into a worse place still you go."
+
+"I beg pardon, ma'am, but I never disobeyed you that I know of. I never
+had the honour of setting eyes upon you till I came to these ugly
+quarters."
+
+"Never saw me? Who said to you, Those that will be foul, foul they will
+be?"
+
+Grimes looked up; and Tom looked up too; for the voice was that of the
+Irishwoman who met them the day that they went out together to
+Harthover. "I gave you your warning then: but you gave it yourself a
+thousand times before and since. Every bad word that you said--every
+cruel and mean thing that you did--every time that you got tipsy--every
+day that you went dirty--you were disobeying me, whether you knew it or
+not."
+
+"If I'd only known, ma'am----"
+
+"You knew well enough that you were disobeying something, though you did
+not know it was me. But come out and take your chance. Perhaps it may be
+your last."
+
+So Grimes stepped out of the chimney, and really, if it had not been for
+the scars on his face, he looked as clean and respectable as a
+master-sweep need look.
+
+"Take him away," said she to the truncheon, "and give him his
+ticket-of-leave."
+
+"And what is he to do, ma'am?"
+
+"Get him to sweep out the crater of Etna; he will find some very steady
+men working out their time there, who will teach him his business: but
+mind, if that crater gets choked again, and there is an earthquake in
+consequence, bring them all to me, and I shall investigate the case very
+severely."
+
+So the truncheon marched off Mr. Grimes, looking as meek as a drowned
+worm.
+
+And for aught I know, or do not know, he is sweeping the crater of Etna
+to this very day.
+
+"And now," said the fairy to Tom, "your work here is done. You may as
+well go back again."
+
+"I should be glad enough to go," said Tom, "but how am I to get up that
+great hole again, now the steam has stopped blowing?"
+
+"I will take you up the backstairs: but I must bandage your eyes first;
+for I never allow anybody to see those backstairs of mine."
+
+"I am sure I shall not tell anybody about them, ma'am, if you bid me
+not."
+
+"Aha! So you think, my little man. But you would soon forget your
+promise if you got back into the land-world. For, if people only once
+found out that you had been up my backstairs, you would have all the
+fine ladies kneeling to you, and the rich men emptying their purses
+before you, and statesmen offering you place and power; and young and
+old, rich and poor, crying to you, 'Only tell us the great backstairs
+secret, and we will be your slaves; we will make you lord, king,
+emperor, bishop, archbishop, pope, if you like--only tell us the secret
+of the backstairs. For thousands of years we have been paying, and
+petting, and obeying, and worshipping quacks who told us they had the
+key of the backstairs, and could smuggle us up them; and in spite of all
+our disappointments, we will honour, and glorify, and adore, and
+beatify, and translate, and apotheotise you likewise, on the chance of
+your knowing something about the backstairs, that we may all go on
+pilgrimage to it; and, even if we cannot get up it, lie at the foot of
+it, and cry--
+
+            '_Oh, backstairs_,
+          _precious backstairs_,        _comfortable backstairs_,
+          _invaluable backstairs_,      _humane backstairs_,
+          _requisite backstairs_,       _reasonable backstairs_,
+          _necessary backstairs_,       _long-sought backstairs_,
+          _good-natured backstairs_,    _coveted backstairs_,
+          _cosmopolitan backstairs_,    _aristocratic backstairs_,
+          _comprehensive backstairs_,   _respectable backstairs_,
+          _accommodating backstairs_,   _gentlemanlike backstairs_,
+          _well-bred backstairs_,       _ladylike backstairs_,
+          _commercial backstairs_,      _orthodox backstairs_,
+          _economical backstairs_,      _probable backstairs_,
+          _practical backstairs_,       _credible backstairs_,
+          _logical backstairs_,         _demonstrable backstairs_,
+          _deductive backstairs_,       _irrefragable backstairs_,
+                       _potent backstairs_,
+                 _all-but-omnipotent backstairs_,
+                                _&c._
+
+Save us from the consequences of our own actions, and from the cruel
+fairy, Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid!' Do not you think that you would be a
+little tempted then to tell what you know, laddie?"
+
+Tom thought so certainly. "But why do they want so to know about the
+backstairs?" asked he, being a little frightened at the long words, and
+not understanding them the least; as, indeed, he was not meant to do, or
+you either.
+
+"That I shall not tell you. I never put things into little folks' heads
+which are but too likely to come there of themselves. So come--now I
+must bandage your eyes." So she tied the bandage on his eyes with one
+hand, and with the other she took it off.
+
+"Now," she said, "you are safe up the stairs." Tom opened his eyes very
+wide, and his mouth too; for he had not, as he thought, moved a single
+step. But, when he looked round him, there could be no doubt that he was
+safe up the backstairs, whatsoever they may be, which no man is going to
+tell you, for the plain reason that no man knows.
+
+The first thing which Tom saw was the black cedars, high and sharp
+against the rosy dawn; and St. Brandan's Isle reflected double in the
+still broad silver sea. The wind sang softly in the cedars, and the
+water sang among the caves: the sea-birds sang as they streamed out into
+the ocean, and the land-birds as they built among the boughs; and the
+air was so full of song that it stirred St. Brandan and his hermits, as
+they slumbered in the shade; and they moved their good old lips, and
+sang their morning hymn amid their dreams. But among all the songs one
+came across the water more sweet and clear than all; for it was the song
+of a young girl's voice.
+
+And what was the song which she sang? Ah, my little man, I am too old to
+sing that song, and you too young to understand it. But have patience,
+and keep your eye single, and your hands clean, and you will learn some
+day to sing it yourself, without needing any man to teach you.
+
+And as Tom neared the island, there sat upon a rock the most graceful
+creature that ever was seen, looking down, with her chin upon her hand,
+and paddling with her feet in the water. And when they came to her she
+looked up, and behold it was Ellie.
+
+"Oh, Miss Ellie," said he, "how you are grown!"
+
+"Oh, Tom," said she, "how you are grown too!"
+
+And no wonder; they were both quite grown up--he into a tall man, and
+she into a beautiful woman.
+
+"Perhaps I may be grown," she said. "I have had time enough; for I have
+been sitting here waiting for you many a hundred years, till I thought
+you were never coming."
+
+"Many a hundred years?" thought Tom; but he had seen so much in his
+travels that he had quite given up being astonished; and, indeed, he
+could think of nothing but Ellie. So he stood and looked at Ellie, and
+Ellie looked at him; and they liked the employment so much that they
+stood and looked for seven years more, and neither spoke nor stirred.
+
+At last they heard the fairy say: "Attention, children. Are you never
+going to look at me again?"
+
+"We have been looking at you all this while," they said. And so they
+thought they had been.
+
+"Then look at me once more," said she.
+
+They looked--and both of them cried out at once, "Oh, who are you, after
+all?"
+
+"You are our dear Mrs. Doasyouwouldbedoneby."
+
+"No, you are good Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid; but you are grown quite
+beautiful now!"
+
+"To you," said the fairy. "But look again."
+
+"You are Mother Carey," said Tom, in a very low, solemn voice; for he
+had found out something which made him very happy, and yet frightened
+him more than all that he had ever seen.
+
+"But you are grown quite young again."
+
+"To you," said the fairy. "Look again."
+
+"You are the Irishwoman who met me the day I went to Harthover!"
+
+And when they looked she was neither of them, and yet all of them at
+once.
+
+"My name is written in my eyes, if you have eyes to see it there."
+
+And they looked into her great, deep, soft eyes, and they changed again
+and again into every hue, as the light changes in a diamond.
+
+"Now read my name," said she, at last.
+
+And her eyes flashed, for one moment, clear, white, blazing light: but
+the children could not read her name; for they were dazzled, and hid
+their faces in their hands.
+
+"Not yet, young things, not yet," said she, smiling; and then she turned
+to Ellie.
+
+"You may take him home with you now on Sundays, Ellie. He has won his
+spurs in the great battle, and become fit to go with you and be a man;
+because he has done the thing he did not like."
+
+So Tom went home with Ellie on Sundays, and sometimes on week-days, too;
+and he is now a great man of science, and can plan railroads, and
+steam-engines, and electric telegraphs, and rifled guns, and so forth;
+and knows everything about everything, except why a hen's egg don't turn
+into a crocodile, and two or three other little things which no one will
+know till the coming of the Cocqcigrues. And all this from what he
+learnt when he was a water-baby, underneath the sea.
+
+"And of course Tom married Ellie?"
+
+My dear child, what a silly notion! Don't you know that no one ever
+marries in a fairy tale, under the rank of a prince or a princess?
+
+"And Tom's dog?"
+
+Oh, you may see him any clear night in July; for the old dog-star was so
+worn out by the last three hot summers that there have been no dog-days
+since; so that they had to take him down and put Tom's dog up in his
+place. Therefore, as new brooms sweep clean, we may hope for some warm
+weather this year. And that is the end of my story.
+
+
+
+
+MORAL
+
+
+_And now, my dear little man, what should we learn from this parable?_
+
+_We should learn thirty-seven or thirty-nine things, I am not exactly
+sure which: but one thing, at least, we may learn, and that is
+this--when we see efts in the pond, never to throw stones at them, or
+catch them with crooked pins, or put them into vivariums with
+sticklebacks, that the sticklebacks may prick them in their poor little
+stomachs, and make them jump out of the glass into somebody's work-box,
+and so come to a bad end. For these efts are nothing else but the
+water-babies who are stupid and dirty, and will not learn their lessons
+and keep themselves clean; and, therefore (as comparative anatomists
+will tell you fifty years hence, though they are not learned enough to
+tell you now), their skulls grow flat, their jaws grow out, and their
+brains grow small, and their tails grow long, and they lose all their
+ribs (which I am sure you would not like to do), and their skins grow
+dirty and spotted, and they never get into the clear rivers, much less
+into the great wide sea, but hang about in dirty ponds, and live in the
+mud, and eat worms, as they deserve to do._
+
+_But that is no reason why you should ill-use them: but only why you
+should pity them, and be kind to them, and hope that some day they will
+wake up, and be ashamed of their nasty, dirty, lazy, stupid life, and
+try to amend, and become something better once more. For, perhaps, if
+they do so, then after 379,423 years, nine months, thirteen days, two
+hours, and twenty-one minutes (for aught that appears to the contrary),
+if they work very hard and wash very hard all that time, their brains
+may grow bigger, and their jaws grow smaller, and their ribs come back,
+and their tails wither off, and they will turn into water-babies again,
+and perhaps after that into land-babies; and after that perhaps into
+grown men._
+
+_You know they won't? Very well, I daresay you know best. But you see,
+some folks have a great liking for those poor little efts. They never
+did anybody any harm, or could if they tried; and their only fault is,
+that they do no good--any more than some thousands of their betters. But
+what with ducks, and what with pike, and what with sticklebacks, and
+what with water-beetles, and what with naughty boys, they are "sae sair
+hadden doun," as the Scotsmen say, that it is a wonder how they live;
+and some folks can't help hoping, with good Bishop Butler, that they may
+have another chance, to make things fair and even, somewhere, somewhen,
+somehow._
+
+_Meanwhile, do you learn your lessons, and thank God that you have
+plenty of cold water to wash in; and wash in it too, like a true
+Englishman. And then, if my story is not true, something better is; and
+if I am not quite right, still you will be, as long as you stick to hard
+work and cold water._
+
+_But remember always, as I told you at first, that this is all a fairy
+tale, and only fun and pretence: and, therefore, you are not to believe
+a word of it, even if it is true._
+
+
+THE END
+
+
+_Printed in Great Britain by R. & R. CLARK, LIMITED, Edinburgh._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Transcriber's Notes:
+
+Obvious punctuation errors repaired.
+
+Page 6, "piert" was retained as a spelling for "pert".
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Water-Babies, by 
+Charles Kingsley and Warwick Goble
+
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+Project Gutenberg's The Water-Babies, by Charles Kingsley and Warwick Goble
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Water-Babies
+       A Fairy Tale for a Land-Baby
+
+Author: Charles Kingsley
+        Warwick Goble
+
+Release Date: May 23, 2008 [EBook #25564]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE WATER-BABIES ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Juliet Sutherland, Emmy and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: Cover]
+
+[Illustration: "The thing whirred up into the air, and hung poised on
+its wings, . . . a dragon fly, . . . the king of all the flies."--P. 74.
+(_Frontispiece_)]
+
+
+
+
+
+THE WATER-BABIES
+
+A Fairy Tale for a Land-Baby
+
+BY CHARLES KINGSLEY
+
+          WITH ILLUSTRATIONS IN COLOUR BY
+          WARWICK GOBLE
+
+          MACMILLAN AND CO., LIMITED
+          ST. MARTIN'S STREET, LONDON
+          1922
+
+
+
+
+  _First Published 1863_
+  _Edition with 32 Illustrations in Colour by Warwick Goble, Crown
+      4to, 1909_
+  _With 16 Illustrations in Colour by Warwick Goble, Demy 8vo, October
+      1910_
+  _Reprinted November 1910, 1912_
+  _With 16 Illustrations in Colour by Warwick Goble, Medium 8vo, 1922_
+
+PRINTED IN GREAT BRITAIN
+
+
+
+
+                      TO
+
+                MY YOUNGEST SON
+
+                GRENVILLE ARTHUR
+
+                     AND
+
+         TO ALL OTHER GOOD LITTLE BOYS
+
+
+  COME READ ME MY RIDDLE, EACH GOOD LITTLE MAN;
+   IF YOU CANNOT READ IT, NO GROWN-UP FOLK CAN.
+
+
+
+
+ILLUSTRATIONS
+
+                                                          FACING PAGE
+
+  The thing whirred up into the air, and hung poised on its
+     wings, . . . a dragon fly, ... the king of all the
+     flies.--p. 74                                        _Frontispiece_
+
+  In rushed a stout old nurse from the next room                20
+
+  Play by me, bathe in me, mother and child                     32
+
+  A quiet, silent, rich, happy place                            35
+
+  She was the Queen of them all                                 44
+
+  From which great trout rushed out on Tom                      88
+
+  He watched the moonlight on the rippling river               101
+
+  Tom had never seen a lobster before                          113
+
+  The fairies came flying in at the window and brought her
+      such a pretty pair of wings                              126
+
+  A real live water-baby, sitting on the white sand            146
+
+  Tom found that the isle stood all on pillars, and that its
+     roots were full of caves                                  151
+
+  He crept away among the rocks, and got to the cabinet, and
+     behold! it was open                                       172
+
+  There he saw the last of the Gairfowl, standing up on the
+     Allalonestone, all alone                                  201
+
+  The most beautiful bird of paradise                          210
+
+  "That's Mother Carey"                                        219
+
+  Pandora and her box                                          224
+
+
+
+
+
+          "I heard a thousand blended notes,
+            While in a grove I sate reclined;
+          In that sweet mood when pleasant thoughts
+            Bring sad thoughts to the mind.
+
+          "To her fair works did Nature link
+            The human soul that through me ran;
+          And much it grieved my heart to think,
+            What man has made of man."
+
+                                WORDSWORTH.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER I
+
+
+ONCE upon a time there was a little chimney-sweep, and his name was Tom.
+That is a short name, and you have heard it before, so you will not have
+much trouble in remembering it. He lived in a great town in the North
+country, where there were plenty of chimneys to sweep, and plenty of
+money for Tom to earn and his master to spend. He could not read nor
+write, and did not care to do either; and he never washed himself, for
+there was no water up the court where he lived. He had never been taught
+to say his prayers. He never had heard of God, or of Christ, except in
+words which you never have heard, and which it would have been well if
+he had never heard. He cried half his time, and laughed the other half.
+He cried when he had to climb the dark flues, rubbing his poor knees and
+elbows raw; and when the soot got into his eyes, which it did every day
+in the week; and when his master beat him, which he did every day in the
+week; and when he had not enough to eat, which happened every day in the
+week likewise. And he laughed the other half of the day, when he was
+tossing halfpennies with the other boys, or playing leap-frog over the
+posts, or bowling stones at the horses' legs as they trotted by, which
+last was excellent fun, when there was a wall at hand behind which to
+hide. As for chimney-sweeping, and being hungry, and being beaten, he
+took all that for the way of the world, like the rain and snow and
+thunder, and stood manfully with his back to it till it was over, as his
+old donkey did to a hail-storm; and then shook his ears and was as jolly
+as ever; and thought of the fine times coming, when he would be a man,
+and a master sweep, and sit in the public-house with a quart of beer and
+a long pipe, and play cards for silver money, and wear velveteens and
+ankle-jacks, and keep a white bull-dog with one grey ear, and carry her
+puppies in his pocket, just like a man. And he would have apprentices,
+one, two, three, if he could. How he would bully them, and knock them
+about, just as his master did to him; and make them carry home the soot
+sacks, while he rode before them on his donkey, with a pipe in his mouth
+and a flower in his button-hole, like a king at the head of his army.
+Yes, there were good times coming; and, when his master let him have a
+pull at the leavings of his beer, Tom was the jolliest boy in the whole
+town.
+
+One day a smart little groom rode into the court where Tom lived. Tom
+was just hiding behind a wall, to heave half a brick at his horse's
+legs, as is the custom of that country when they welcome strangers; but
+the groom saw him, and halloed to him to know where Mr. Grimes, the
+chimney-sweep, lived. Now, Mr. Grimes was Tom's own master, and Tom was
+a good man of business, and always civil to customers, so he put the
+half-brick down quietly behind the wall, and proceeded to take orders.
+
+Mr. Grimes was to come up next morning to Sir John Harthover's, at the
+Place, for his old chimney-sweep was gone to prison, and the chimneys
+wanted sweeping. And so he rode away, not giving Tom time to ask what
+the sweep had gone to prison for, which was a matter of interest to Tom,
+as he had been in prison once or twice himself. Moreover, the groom
+looked so very neat and clean, with his drab gaiters, drab breeches,
+drab jacket, snow-white tie with a smart pin in it, and clean round
+ruddy face, that Tom was offended and disgusted at his appearance, and
+considered him a stuck-up fellow, who gave himself airs because he wore
+smart clothes, and other people paid for them; and went behind the wall
+to fetch the half-brick after all; but did not, remembering that he had
+come in the way of business, and was, as it were, under a flag of truce.
+
+His master was so delighted at his new customer that he knocked Tom down
+out of hand, and drank more beer that night than he usually did in two,
+in order to be sure of getting up in time next morning; for the more a
+man's head aches when he wakes, the more glad he is to turn out, and
+have a breath of fresh air. And, when he did get up at four the next
+morning, he knocked Tom down again, in order to teach him (as young
+gentlemen used to be taught at public schools) that he must be an extra
+good boy that day, as they were going to a very great house, and might
+make a very good thing of it, if they could but give satisfaction.
+
+And Tom thought so likewise, and, indeed, would have done and behaved
+his best, even without being knocked down. For, of all places upon
+earth, Harthover Place (which he had never seen) was the most wonderful,
+and, of all men on earth, Sir John (whom he had seen, having been sent
+to gaol by him twice) was the most awful.
+
+Harthover Place was really a grand place, even for the rich North
+country; with a house so large that in the frame-breaking riots, which
+Tom could just remember, the Duke of Wellington, and ten thousand
+soldiers to match, were easily housed therein; at least, so Tom
+believed; with a park full of deer, which Tom believed to be monsters
+who were in the habit of eating children; with miles of game-preserves,
+in which Mr. Grimes and the collier lads poached at times, on which
+occasions Tom saw pheasants, and wondered what they tasted like; with a
+noble salmon-river, in which Mr. Grimes and his friends would have liked
+to poach; but then they must have got into cold water, and that they did
+not like at all. In short, Harthover was a grand place, and Sir John a
+grand old man, whom even Mr. Grimes respected; for not only could he
+send Mr. Grimes to prison when he deserved it, as he did once or twice
+a week; not only did he own all the land about for miles; not only was
+he a jolly, honest, sensible squire, as ever kept a pack of hounds, who
+would do what he thought right by his neighbours, as well as get what he
+thought right for himself; but, what was more, he weighed full fifteen
+stone, was nobody knew how many inches round the chest, and could have
+thrashed Mr. Grimes himself in fair fight, which very few folk round
+there could do, and which, my dear little boy, would not have been right
+for him to do, as a great many things are not which one both can do, and
+would like very much to do. So Mr. Grimes touched his hat to him when he
+rode through the town, and called him a "buirdly awd chap," and his
+young ladies "gradely lasses," which are two high compliments in the
+North country; and thought that that made up for his poaching Sir John's
+pheasants; whereby you may perceive that Mr. Grimes had not been to a
+properly-inspected Government National School.
+
+Now, I dare say, you never got up at three o'clock on a midsummer
+morning. Some people get up then because they want to catch salmon; and
+some because they want to climb Alps; and a great many more because they
+must, like Tom. But, I assure you, that three o'clock on a midsummer
+morning is the pleasantest time of all the twenty-four hours, and all
+the three hundred and sixty-five days; and why every one does not get up
+then, I never could tell, save that they are all determined to spoil
+their nerves and their complexions by doing all night what they might
+just as well do all day. But Tom, instead of going out to dinner at
+half-past eight at night, and to a ball at ten, and finishing off
+somewhere between twelve and four, went to bed at seven, when his master
+went to the public-house, and slept like a dead pig; for which reason he
+was as piert as a game-cock (who always gets up early to wake the maids),
+and just ready to get up when the fine gentlemen and ladies were just
+ready to go to bed.
+
+So he and his master set out; Grimes rode the donkey in front, and Tom
+and the brushes walked behind; out of the court, and up the street, past
+the closed window-shutters, and the winking weary policemen, and the
+roofs all shining grey in the grey dawn.
+
+They passed through the pitmen's village, all shut up and silent now,
+and through the turnpike; and then they were out in the real country,
+and plodding along the black dusty road, between black slag walls, with
+no sound but the groaning and thumping of the pit-engine in the next
+field. But soon the road grew white, and the walls likewise; and at the
+wall's foot grew long grass and gay flowers, all drenched with dew; and
+instead of the groaning of the pit-engine, they heard the skylark saying
+his matins high up in the air, and the pit-bird warbling in the sedges,
+as he had warbled all night long.
+
+All else was silent. For old Mrs. Earth was still fast asleep; and, like
+many pretty people, she looked still prettier asleep than awake. The
+great elm-trees in the gold-green meadows were fast asleep above, and
+the cows fast asleep beneath them; nay, the few clouds which were about
+were fast asleep likewise, and so tired that they had lain down on the
+earth to rest, in long white flakes and bars, among the stems of the
+elm-trees, and along the tops of the alders by the stream, waiting for
+the sun to bid them rise and go about their day's business in the clear
+blue overhead.
+
+On they went; and Tom looked, and looked, for he never had been so far
+into the country before; and longed to get over a gate, and pick
+buttercups, and look for birds' nests in the hedge; but Mr. Grimes was a
+man of business, and would not have heard of that.
+
+Soon they came up with a poor Irishwoman, trudging along with a bundle
+at her back. She had a grey shawl over her head, and a crimson madder
+petticoat; so you may be sure she came from Galway. She had neither
+shoes nor stockings, and limped along as if she were tired and footsore;
+but she was a very tall handsome woman, with bright grey eyes, and heavy
+black hair hanging about her cheeks. And she took Mr. Grimes' fancy so
+much, that when he came alongside he called out to her:
+
+"This is a hard road for a gradely foot like that. Will ye up, lass, and
+ride behind me?"
+
+But, perhaps, she did not admire Mr. Grimes' look and voice; for she
+answered quietly:
+
+"No, thank you; I'd sooner walk with your little lad here."
+
+"You may please yourself," growled Grimes, and went on smoking.
+
+So she walked beside Tom, and talked to him, and asked him where he
+lived, and what he knew, and all about himself, till Tom thought he had
+never met such a pleasant-spoken woman. And she asked him, at last,
+whether he said his prayers! and seemed sad when he told her that he
+knew no prayers to say.
+
+Then he asked her where she lived, and she said far away by the sea. And
+Tom asked her about the sea; and she told him how it rolled and roared
+over the rocks in winter nights, and lay still in the bright summer
+days, for the children to bathe and play in it; and many a story more,
+till Tom longed to go and see the sea, and bathe in it likewise.
+
+At last, at the bottom of a hill, they came to a spring; not such a
+spring as you see here, which soaks up out of a white gravel in the bog,
+among red fly-catchers, and pink bottle-heath, and sweet white orchis;
+nor such a one as you may see, too, here, which bubbles up under the
+warm sandbank in the hollow lane, by the great tuft of lady ferns, and
+makes the sand dance reels at the bottom, day and night, all the year
+round; not such a spring as either of those; but a real North country
+limestone fountain, like one of those in Sicily or Greece, where the old
+heathen fancied the nymphs sat cooling themselves the hot summer's day,
+while the shepherds peeped at them from behind the bushes. Out of a low
+cave of rock, at the foot of a limestone crag, the great fountain rose,
+quelling, and bubbling, and gurgling, so clear that you could not tell
+where the water ended and the air began; and ran away under the road, a
+stream large enough to turn a mill; among blue geranium, and golden
+globe-flower, and wild raspberry, and the bird-cherry with its tassels
+of snow.
+
+And there Grimes stopped, and looked; and Tom looked too. Tom was
+wondering whether anything lived in that dark cave, and came out at
+night to fly in the meadows. But Grimes was not wondering at all.
+Without a word, he got off his donkey, and clambered over the low road
+wall, and knelt down, and began dipping his ugly head into the
+spring--and very dirty he made it.
+
+Tom was picking the flowers as fast as he could. The Irishwoman helped
+him, and showed him how to tie them up; and a very pretty nosegay they
+had made between them. But when he saw Grimes actually wash, he stopped,
+quite astonished; and when Grimes had finished, and began shaking his
+ears to dry them, he said:
+
+"Why, master, I never saw you do that before."
+
+"Nor will again, most likely. 'Twasn't for cleanliness I did it, but for
+coolness. I'd be ashamed to want washing every week or so, like any
+smutty collier lad."
+
+"I wish I might go and dip my head in," said poor little Tom. "It must
+be as good as putting it under the town-pump; and there is no beadle
+here to drive a chap away."
+
+"Thou come along," said Grimes; "what dost want with washing thyself?
+Thou did not drink half a gallon of beer last night, like me."
+
+"I don't care for you," said naughty Tom, and ran down to the stream,
+and began washing his face.
+
+Grimes was very sulky, because the woman preferred Tom's company to his;
+so he dashed at him with horrid words, and tore him up from his knees,
+and began beating him. But Tom was accustomed to that, and got his head
+safe between Mr. Grimes' legs, and kicked his shins with all his might.
+
+"Are you not ashamed of yourself, Thomas Grimes?" cried the Irishwoman
+over the wall.
+
+Grimes looked up, startled at her knowing his name; but all he answered
+was, "No, nor never was yet"; and went on beating Tom.
+
+"True for you. If you ever had been ashamed of yourself, you would have
+gone over into Vendale long ago."
+
+"What do you know about Vendale?" shouted Grimes; but he left off
+beating Tom.
+
+"I know about Vendale, and about you, too. I know, for instance, what
+happened in Aldermire Copse, by night, two years ago come Martinmas."
+
+"You do?" shouted Grimes; and leaving Tom, he climbed up over the wall,
+and faced the woman. Tom thought he was going to strike her; but she
+looked him too full and fierce in the face for that.
+
+"Yes; I was there," said the Irishwoman quietly.
+
+"You are no Irishwoman, by your speech," said Grimes, after many bad
+words.
+
+"Never mind who I am. I saw what I saw; and if you strike that boy
+again, I can tell what I know."
+
+Grimes seemed quite cowed, and got on his donkey without another word.
+
+"Stop!" said the Irishwoman. "I have one more word for you both; for you
+will both see me again before all is over. Those that wish to be clean,
+clean they will be; and those that wish to be foul, foul they will be.
+Remember."
+
+And she turned away, and through a gate into the meadow. Grimes stood
+still a moment, like a man who had been stunned. Then he rushed after
+her, shouting, "You come back." But when he got into the meadow, the
+woman was not there.
+
+Had she hidden away? There was no place to hide in. But Grimes looked
+about, and Tom also, for he was as puzzled as Grimes himself at her
+disappearing so suddenly; but look where they would, she was not there.
+
+Grimes came back again, as silent as a post, for he was a little
+frightened; and, getting on his donkey, filled a fresh pipe, and smoked
+away, leaving Tom in peace.
+
+And now they had gone three miles and more, and came to Sir John's
+lodge-gates.
+
+Very grand lodges they were, with very grand iron gates and stone
+gate-posts, and on the top of each a most dreadful bogy, all teeth,
+horns, and tail, which was the crest which Sir John's ancestors wore in
+the Wars of the Roses; and very prudent men they were to wear it, for
+all their enemies must have run for their lives at the very first sight
+of them.
+
+Grimes rang at the gate, and out came a keeper on the spot, and opened.
+
+"I was told to expect thee," he said. "Now thou'lt be so good as to keep
+to the main avenue, and not let me find a hare or a rabbit on thee when
+thou comest back. I shall look sharp for one, I tell thee."
+
+"Not if it's in the bottom of the soot-bag," quoth Grimes, and at that
+he laughed; and the keeper laughed and said:
+
+"If that's thy sort, I may as well walk up with thee to the hall."
+
+"I think thou best had. It's thy business to see after thy game, man,
+and not mine."
+
+So the keeper went with them; and, to Tom's surprise, he and Grimes
+chatted together all the way quite pleasantly. He did not know that a
+keeper is only a poacher turned outside in, and a poacher a keeper
+turned inside out.
+
+They walked up a great lime avenue, a full mile long, and between their
+stems Tom peeped trembling at the horns of the sleeping deer, which
+stood up among the ferns. Tom had never seen such enormous trees, and as
+he looked up he fancied that the blue sky rested on their heads. But he
+was puzzled very much by a strange murmuring noise, which followed them
+all the way. So much puzzled, that at last he took courage to ask the
+keeper what it was.
+
+He spoke very civilly, and called him Sir, for he was horribly afraid of
+him, which pleased the keeper, and he told him that they were the bees
+about the lime flowers.
+
+"What are bees?" asked Tom.
+
+"What make honey."
+
+"What is honey?" asked Tom.
+
+"Thou hold thy noise," said Grimes.
+
+"Let the boy be," said the keeper. "He's a civil young chap now, and
+that's more than he'll be long if he bides with thee."
+
+Grimes laughed, for he took that for a compliment.
+
+"I wish I were a keeper," said Tom, "to live in such a beautiful place,
+and wear green velveteens, and have a real dog-whistle at my button,
+like you."
+
+The keeper laughed; he was a kind-hearted fellow enough.
+
+"Let well alone, lad, and ill too at times. Thy life's safer than mine
+at all events, eh, Mr. Grimes?"
+
+And Grimes laughed again, and then the two men began talking quite low.
+Tom could hear, though, that it was about some poaching fight; and at
+last Grimes said surlily, "Hast thou anything against me?"
+
+"Not now."
+
+"Then don't ask me any questions till thou hast, for I am a man of
+honour."
+
+And at that they both laughed again, and thought it a very good joke.
+
+And by this time they were come up to the great iron gates in front of
+the house; and Tom stared through them at the rhododendrons and azaleas,
+which were all in flower; and then at the house itself, and wondered how
+many chimneys there were in it, and how long ago it was built, and what
+was the man's name that built it, and whether he got much money for his
+job?
+
+These last were very difficult questions to answer. For Harthover had
+been built at ninety different times, and in nineteen different styles,
+and looked as if somebody had built a whole street of houses of every
+imaginable shape, and then stirred them together with a spoon.
+
+          _For the attics were Anglo-Saxon._
+
+          _The third floor Norman._
+
+          _The second Cinque-cento._
+
+          _The first-floor Elizabethan._
+
+          _The right wing Pure Doric._
+
+          _The centre Early English, with a huge portico
+          copied from the Parthenon._
+
+          _The left wing pure B[oe]otian, which the country
+          folk admired most of all, because it was just like
+          the new barracks in the town, only three times as
+          big._
+
+          _The grand staircase was copied from the Catacombs
+          at Rome._
+
+          _The back staircase from the Tajmahal at Agra.
+          This was built by Sir John's
+          great-great-great-uncle, who won, in Lord Clive's
+          Indian Wars, plenty of money, plenty of wounds,
+          and no more taste than his betters._
+
+          _The cellars were copied from the caves of
+          Elephanta._
+
+          _The offices from the Pavilion at Brighton._
+
+And the rest from nothing in heaven, or earth, or under the earth.
+
+So that Harthover House was a great puzzle to antiquarians, and a
+thorough Naboth's vineyard to critics, and architects, and all persons
+who like meddling with other men's business, and spending other men's
+money. So they were all setting upon poor Sir John, year after year, and
+trying to talk him into spending a hundred thousand pounds or so, in
+building, to please them and not himself. But he always put them off,
+like a canny North-countryman as he was. One wanted him to build a
+Gothic house, but he said he was no Goth; and another to build an
+Elizabethan, but he said he lived under good Queen Victoria, and not
+good Queen Bess; and another was bold enough to tell him that his house
+was ugly, but he said he lived inside it, and not outside; and another,
+that there was no unity in it, but he said that that was just why he
+liked the old place. For he liked to see how each Sir John, and Sir
+Hugh, and Sir Ralph, and Sir Randal, had left his mark upon the place,
+each after his own taste; and he had no more notion of disturbing his
+ancestors' work than of disturbing their graves. For now the house
+looked like a real live house, that had a history, and had grown and
+grown as the world grew; and that it was only an upstart fellow who did
+not know who his own grandfather was, who would change it for some spick
+and span new Gothic or Elizabethan thing, which looked as if it had been
+all spawned in a night, as mushrooms are. From which you may collect (if
+you have wit enough) that Sir John was a very sound-headed,
+sound-hearted squire, and just the man to keep the country side in
+order, and show good sport with his hounds.
+
+But Tom and his master did not go in through the great iron gates, as if
+they had been Dukes or Bishops, but round the back way, and a very long
+way round it was; and into a little back-door, where the ash-boy let
+them in, yawning horribly; and then in a passage the housekeeper met
+them, in such a flowered chintz dressing-gown, that Tom mistook her for
+My Lady herself, and she gave Grimes solemn orders about "You will take
+care of this, and take care of that," as if he was going up the
+chimneys, and not Tom. And Grimes listened, and said every now and then,
+under his voice, "You'll mind that, you little beggar?" and Tom did
+mind, all at least that he could. And then the housekeeper turned them
+into a grand room, all covered up in sheets of brown paper, and bade
+them begin, in a lofty and tremendous voice; and so after a whimper or
+two, and a kick from his master, into the grate Tom went, and up the
+chimney, while a housemaid stayed in the room to watch the furniture; to
+whom Mr. Grimes paid many playful and chivalrous compliments, but met
+with very slight encouragement in return.
+
+How many chimneys Tom swept I cannot say; but he swept so many that he
+got quite tired, and puzzled too, for they were not like the town flues
+to which he was accustomed, but such as you would find--if you would
+only get up them and look, which perhaps you would not like to do--in
+old country-houses, large and crooked chimneys, which had been altered
+again and again, till they ran one into another, anastomosing (as
+Professor Owen would say) considerably. So Tom fairly lost his way in
+them; not that he cared much for that, though he was in pitchy darkness,
+for he was as much at home in a chimney as a mole is underground; but at
+last, coming down as he thought the right chimney, he came down the
+wrong one, and found himself standing on the hearthrug in a room the
+like of which he had never seen before.
+
+Tom had never seen the like. He had never been in gentlefolks' rooms but
+when the carpets were all up, and the curtains down, and the furniture
+huddled together under a cloth, and the pictures covered with aprons and
+dusters; and he had often enough wondered what the rooms were like when
+they were all ready for the quality to sit in. And now he saw, and he
+thought the sight very pretty.
+
+The room was all dressed in white,--white window-curtains, white
+bed-curtains, white furniture, and white walls, with just a few lines of
+pink here and there. The carpet was all over gay little flowers; and the
+walls were hung with pictures in gilt frames, which amused Tom very
+much. There were pictures of ladies and gentlemen, and pictures of
+horses and dogs. The horses he liked; but the dogs he did not care for
+much, for there were no bull-dogs among them, not even a terrier. But
+the two pictures which took his fancy most were, one a man in long
+garments, with little children and their mothers round him, who was
+laying his hand upon the children's heads. That was a very pretty
+picture, Tom thought, to hang in a lady's room. For he could see that it
+was a lady's room by the dresses which lay about.
+
+The other picture was that of a man nailed to a cross, which surprised
+Tom much. He fancied that he had seen something like it in a
+shop-window. But why was it there? "Poor man," thought Tom, "and he
+looks so kind and quiet. But why should the lady have such a sad picture
+as that in her room? Perhaps it was some kinsman of hers, who had been
+murdered by the savages in foreign parts, and she kept it there for a
+remembrance." And Tom felt sad, and awed, and turned to look at
+something else.
+
+The next thing he saw, and that too puzzled him, was a washing-stand,
+with ewers and basins, and soap and brushes, and towels, and a large
+bath full of clean water--what a heap of things all for washing! "She
+must be a very dirty lady," thought Tom, "by my master's rule, to want
+as much scrubbing as all that. But she must be very cunning to put the
+dirt out of the way so well afterwards, for I don't see a speck about
+the room, not even on the very towels."
+
+And then, looking toward the bed, he saw that dirty lady, and held his
+breath with astonishment.
+
+Under the snow-white coverlet, upon the snow-white pillow, lay the most
+beautiful little girl that Tom had ever seen. Her cheeks were almost as
+white as the pillow, and her hair was like threads of gold spread all
+about over the bed. She might have been as old as Tom, or maybe a year
+or two older; but Tom did not think of that. He thought only of her
+delicate skin and golden hair, and wondered whether she was a real live
+person, or one of the wax dolls he had seen in the shops. But when he
+saw her breathe, he made up his mind that she was alive, and stood
+staring at her, as if she had been an angel out of heaven.
+
+No. She cannot be dirty. She never could have been dirty, thought Tom to
+himself. And then he thought, "And are all people like that when they
+are washed?" And he looked at his own wrist, and tried to rub the soot
+off, and wondered whether it ever would come off. "Certainly I should
+look much prettier then, if I grew at all like her."
+
+And looking round, he suddenly saw, standing close to him, a little
+ugly, black, ragged figure, with bleared eyes and grinning white teeth.
+He turned on it angrily. What did such a little black ape want in that
+sweet young lady's room? And behold, it was himself, reflected in a
+great mirror, the like of which Tom had never seen before.
+
+And Tom, for the first time in his life, found out that he was dirty;
+and burst into tears with shame and anger; and turned to sneak up the
+chimney again and hide; and upset the fender and threw the fire-irons
+down, with a noise as of ten thousand tin kettles tied to ten thousand
+mad dogs' tails.
+
+[Illustration: "In rushed a stout old nurse from the next room."--_P.
+20._]
+
+Up jumped the little white lady in her bed, and, seeing Tom, screamed as
+shrill as any peacock. In rushed a stout old nurse from the next room,
+and seeing Tom likewise, made up her mind that he had come to rob,
+plunder, destroy, and burn; and dashed at him, as he lay over the
+fender, so fast that she caught him by the jacket.
+
+But she did not hold him. Tom had been in a policeman's hands many a
+time, and out of them too, what is more; and he would have been ashamed
+to face his friends for ever if he had been stupid enough to be caught
+by an old woman; so he doubled under the good lady's arm, across the
+room, and out of the window in a moment.
+
+He did not need to drop out, though he would have done so bravely
+enough. Nor even to let himself down a spout, which would have been an
+old game to him; for once he got up by a spout to the church roof, he
+said to take jackdaws' eggs, but the policeman said to steal lead; and,
+when he was seen on high, sat there till the sun got too hot, and came
+down by another spout, leaving the policemen to go back to the
+stationhouse and eat their dinners.
+
+But all under the window spread a tree, with great leaves and sweet
+white flowers, almost as big as his head. It was magnolia, I suppose;
+but Tom knew nothing about that, and cared less; for down the tree he
+went, like a cat, and across the garden lawn, and over the iron
+railings, and up the park towards the wood, leaving the old nurse to
+scream murder and fire at the window.
+
+The under gardener, mowing, saw Tom, and threw down his scythe; caught
+his leg in it, and cut his shin open, whereby he kept his bed for a
+week; but in his hurry he never knew it, and gave chase to poor Tom. The
+dairymaid heard the noise, got the churn between her knees, and tumbled
+over it, spilling all the cream; and yet she jumped up, and gave chase
+to Tom. A groom cleaning Sir John's hack at the stables let him go
+loose, whereby he kicked himself lame in five minutes; but he ran out
+and gave chase to Tom. Grimes upset the soot-sack in the new-gravelled
+yard, and spoilt it all utterly; but he ran out and gave chase to Tom.
+The old steward opened the park-gate in such a hurry, that he hung up
+his pony's chin upon the spikes, and, for aught I know, it hangs there
+still; but he jumped off, and gave chase to Tom. The ploughman left his
+horses at the headland, and one jumped over the fence, and pulled the
+other into the ditch, plough and all; but he ran on, and gave chase to
+Tom. The keeper, who was taking a stoat out of a trap, let the stoat go,
+and caught his own finger; but he jumped up, and ran after Tom; and
+considering what he said, and how he looked, I should have been sorry
+for Tom if he had caught him. Sir John looked out of his study window
+(for he was an early old gentleman) and up at the nurse, and a marten
+dropped mud in his eye, so that he had at last to send for the doctor;
+and yet he ran out, and gave chase to Tom. The Irishwoman, too, was
+walking up to the house to beg,--she must have got round by some
+byway,--but she threw away her bundle, and gave chase to Tom likewise.
+Only my Lady did not give chase; for when she had put her head out of
+the window, her night-wig fell into the garden, and she had to ring up
+her lady's-maid, and send her down for it privately, which quite put her
+out of the running, so that she came in nowhere, and is consequently not
+placed.
+
+In a word, never was there heard at Hall Place--not even when the fox
+was killed in the conservatory, among acres of broken glass, and tons of
+smashed flower-pots--such a noise, row, hubbub, babel, shindy,
+hullabaloo, stramash, charivari, and total contempt of dignity, repose,
+and order, as that day, when Grimes, gardener, the groom, the dairymaid,
+Sir John, the steward, the ploughman, the keeper, and the Irishwoman,
+all ran up the park, shouting "Stop thief," in the belief that Tom had
+at least a thousand pounds' worth of jewels in his empty pockets; and
+the very magpies and jays followed Tom up, screaking and screaming, as
+if he were a hunted fox, beginning to droop his brush.
+
+And all the while poor Tom paddled up the park with his little bare
+feet, like a small black gorilla fleeing to the forest. Alas for him!
+there was no big father gorilla therein to take his part--to scratch
+out the gardener's inside with one paw, toss the dairymaid into a tree
+with another, and wrench off Sir John's head with a third, while he
+cracked the keeper's skull with his teeth as easily as if it had been a
+cocoa-nut or a paving-stone.
+
+However, Tom did not remember ever having had a father; so he did not
+look for one, and expected to have to take care of himself; while as for
+running, he could keep up for a couple of miles with any stage-coach, if
+there was the chance of a copper or a cigar-end, and turn coach-wheels
+on his hands and feet ten times following, which is more than you can
+do. Wherefore his pursuers found it very difficult to catch him; and we
+will hope that they did not catch him at all.
+
+Tom, of course, made for the woods. He had never been in a wood in his
+life; but he was sharp enough to know that he might hide in a bush, or
+swarm up a tree, and, altogether, had more chance there than in the
+open. If he had not known that, he would have been foolisher than a
+mouse or a minnow.
+
+But when he got into the wood, he found it a very different sort of
+place from what he had fancied. He pushed into a thick cover of
+rhododendrons, and found himself at once caught in a trap. The boughs
+laid hold of his legs and arms, poked him in his face and his stomach,
+made him shut his eyes tight (though that was no great loss, for he
+could not see at best a yard before his nose); and when he got through
+the rhododendrons, the hassock-grass and sedges tumbled him over, and
+cut his poor little fingers afterwards most spitefully; the birches
+birched him as soundly as if he had been a nobleman at Eton, and over
+the face too (which is not fair swishing, as all brave boys will agree);
+and the lawyers tripped him up, and tore his shins as if they had
+sharks' teeth--which lawyers are likely enough to have.
+
+"I must get out of this," thought Tom, "or I shall stay here till
+somebody comes to help me--which is just what I don't want."
+
+But how to get out was the difficult matter. And indeed I don't think he
+would ever have got out at all, but have stayed there till the
+cock-robins covered him with leaves, if he had not suddenly run his head
+against a wall.
+
+Now running your head against a wall is not pleasant, especially if it
+is a loose wall, with the stones all set on edge, and a sharp cornered
+one hits you between the eyes and makes you see all manner of beautiful
+stars. The stars are very beautiful, certainly; but unfortunately they
+go in the twenty-thousandth part of a split second, and the pain which
+comes after them does not. And so Tom hurt his head; but he was a brave
+boy, and did not mind that a penny. He guessed that over the wall the
+cover would end; and up it he went, and over like a squirrel.
+
+And there he was, out on the great grouse-moors, which the country folk
+called Harthover Fell--heather and bog and rock, stretching away and
+up, up to the very sky.
+
+Now, Tom was a cunning little fellow--as cunning as an old Exmoor stag.
+Why not? Though he was but ten years old, he had lived longer than most
+stags, and had more wits to start with into the bargain.
+
+He knew as well as a stag that if he backed he might throw the hounds
+out. So the first thing he did when he was over the wall was to make the
+neatest double sharp to his right, and run along under the wall for
+nearly half a mile.
+
+Whereby Sir John, and the keeper, and the steward, and the gardener, and
+the ploughman, and the dairymaid, and all the hue-and-cry together, went
+on ahead half a mile in the very opposite direction, and inside the
+wall, leaving him a mile off on the outside; while Tom heard their
+shouts die away in the woods and chuckled to himself merrily.
+
+At last he came to a dip in the land, and went to the bottom of it, and
+then he turned bravely away from the wall and up the moor; for he knew
+that he had put a hill between him and his enemies, and could go on
+without their seeing him.
+
+But the Irishwoman, alone of them all, had seen which way Tom went. She
+had kept ahead of every one the whole time; and yet she neither walked
+nor ran. She went along quite smoothly and gracefully, while her feet
+twinkled past each other so fast that you could not see which was
+foremost; till every one asked the other who the strange woman was; and
+all agreed, for want of anything better to say, that she must be in
+league with Tom.
+
+But when she came to the plantation, they lost sight of her; and they
+could do no less. For she went quietly over the wall after Tom, and
+followed him wherever he went. Sir John and the rest saw no more of her;
+and out of sight was out of mind.
+
+And now Tom was right away into the heather, over just such a moor as
+those in which you have been bred, except that there were rocks and
+stones lying about everywhere, and that, instead of the moor growing
+flat as he went upwards, it grew more and more broken and hilly, but not
+so rough but that little Tom could jog along well enough, and find time,
+too, to stare about at the strange place, which was like a new world to
+him.
+
+He saw great spiders there, with crowns and crosses marked on their
+backs, who sat in the middle of their webs, and when they saw Tom
+coming, shook them so fast that they became invisible. Then he saw
+lizards, brown and grey and green, and thought they were snakes, and
+would sting him; but they were as much frightened as he, and shot away
+into the heath. And then, under a rock, he saw a pretty sight--a great
+brown, sharp-nosed creature, with a white tag to her brush, and round
+her four or five smutty little cubs, the funniest fellows Tom ever saw.
+She lay on her back, rolling about, and stretching out her legs and head
+and tail in the bright sunshine; and the cubs jumped over her, and ran
+round her, and nibbled her paws, and lugged her about by the tail; and
+she seemed to enjoy it mightily. But one selfish little fellow stole
+away from the rest to a dead crow close by, and dragged it off to hide
+it, though it was nearly as big as he was. Whereat all his little
+brothers set off after him in full cry, and saw Tom; and then all ran
+back, and up jumped Mrs. Vixen, and caught one up in her mouth, and the
+rest toddled after her, and into a dark crack in the rocks; and there
+was an end of the show.
+
+And next he had a fright; for, as he scrambled up a sandy
+brow--whirr-poof-poof-cock-cock-kick--something went off in his face,
+with a most horrid noise. He thought the ground had blown up, and the
+end of the world come.
+
+And when he opened his eyes (for he shut them very tight) it was
+only an old cock-grouse, who had been washing himself in sand,
+like an Arab, for want of water; and who, when Tom had all but
+trodden on him, jumped up with a noise like the express train,
+leaving his wife and children to shift for themselves, like an
+old coward, and went off, screaming "Cur-ru-u-uck, cur-ru-u-uck--murder,
+thieves, fire--cur-u-uck-cock-kick--the end of the world is
+come--kick-kick-cock-kick." He was always fancying that the end of the
+world was come, when anything happened which was farther off than the
+end of his own nose. But the end of the world was not come, any more
+than the twelfth of August was; though the old grouse-cock was quite
+certain of it.
+
+So the old grouse came back to his wife and family an hour afterwards,
+and said solemnly, "Cock-cock-kick; my dears, the end of the world is
+not quite come; but I assure you it is coming the day after
+to-morrow--cock." But his wife had heard that so often that she knew all
+about it, and a little more. And, besides, she was the mother of a
+family, and had seven little poults to wash and feed every day; and that
+made her very practical, and a little sharp-tempered; so all she
+answered was: "Kick-kick-kick--go and catch spiders, go and catch
+spiders--kick."
+
+So Tom went on and on, he hardly knew why; but he liked the great wide
+strange place, and the cool fresh bracing air. But he went more and more
+slowly as he got higher up the hill; for now the ground grew very bad
+indeed. Instead of soft turf and springy heather, he met great patches
+of flat limestone rock, just like ill-made pavements, with deep cracks
+between the stones and ledges, filled with ferns; so he had to hop from
+stone to stone, and now and then he slipped in between, and hurt his
+little bare toes, though they were tolerably tough ones; but still he
+would go on and up, he could not tell why.
+
+What would Tom have said if he had seen, walking over the moor behind
+him, the very same Irishwoman who had taken his part upon the road? But
+whether it was that he looked too little behind him, or whether it was
+that she kept out of sight behind the rocks and knolls, he never saw
+her, though she saw him.
+
+And now he began to get a little hungry, and very thirsty; for he had
+run a long way, and the sun had risen high in heaven, and the rock was
+as hot as an oven, and the air danced reels over it, as it does over a
+limekiln, till everything round seemed quivering and melting in the
+glare.
+
+But he could see nothing to eat anywhere, and still less to drink.
+
+The heath was full of bilberries and whimberries; but they were only in
+flower yet, for it was June. And as for water, who can find that on the
+top of a limestone rock? Now and then he passed by a deep dark
+swallow-hole, going down into the earth, as if it was the chimney of
+some dwarf's house underground; and more than once, as he passed, he
+could hear water falling, trickling, tinkling, many many feet below. How
+he longed to get down to it, and cool his poor baked lips! But, brave
+little chimney-sweep as he was, he dared not climb down such chimneys as
+those.
+
+So he went on and on, till his head spun round with the heat, and he
+thought he heard church-bells ringing, a long way off.
+
+"Ah!" he thought, "where there is a church there will be houses and
+people; and, perhaps, some one will give me a bit and a sup." So he set
+off again, to look for the church; for he was sure that he heard the
+bells quite plain.
+
+And in a minute more, when he looked round, he stopped again, and said,
+"Why, what a big place the world is!"
+
+And so it was; for, from the top of the mountain he could see--what
+could he not see?
+
+Behind him, far below, was Harthover, and the dark woods, and the
+shining salmon river; and on his left, far below, was the town, and the
+smoking chimneys of the collieries; and far, far away, the river widened
+to the shining sea; and little white specks, which were ships, lay on
+its bosom. Before him lay, spread out like a map, great plains, and
+farms, and villages, amid dark knots of trees. They all seemed at his
+very feet; but he had sense to see that they were long miles away.
+
+And to his right rose moor after moor, hill after hill, till they faded
+away, blue into blue sky. But between him and those moors, and really at
+his very feet, lay something, to which, as soon as Tom saw it, he
+determined to go, for that was the place for him.
+
+A deep, deep green and rocky valley, very narrow, and filled with wood;
+but through the wood, hundreds of feet below him, he could see a clear
+stream glance. Oh, if he could but get down to that stream! Then, by the
+stream, he saw the roof of a little cottage, and a little garden set out
+in squares and beds. And there was a tiny little red thing moving in the
+garden, no bigger than a fly. As Tom looked down, he saw that it was a
+woman in a red petticoat. Ah! perhaps she would give him something to
+eat. And there were the church-bells ringing again. Surely there must be
+a village down there. Well, nobody would know him, or what had happened
+at the Place. The news could not have got there yet, even if Sir John
+had set all the policemen in the county after him; and he could get down
+there in five minutes.
+
+Tom was quite right about the hue-and-cry not having got thither; for he
+had come without knowing it, the best part of ten miles from Harthover;
+but he was wrong about getting down in five minutes, for the cottage was
+more than a mile off, and a good thousand feet below.
+
+[Illustration: "Play by me, bathe in me, mother and child."--_P. 32._]
+
+However, down he went, like a brave little man as he was, though he was
+very footsore, and tired, and hungry, and thirsty; while the
+church-bells rang so loud, he began to think that they must be inside
+his own head, and the river chimed and tinkled far below; and this was
+the song which it sang:--
+
+              _Clear and cool, clear and cool,
+            By laughing shallow, and dreaming pool;
+              Cool and clear, cool and clear,
+            By shining shingle, and foaming wear;
+          Under the crag where the ouzel sings,
+          And the ivied wall where the church-bell rings,
+                Undefiled, for the undefiled;
+              Play by me, bathe in me, mother and child._
+
+              _Dank and foul, dank and foul,
+            By the smoky town in its murky cowl;
+              Foul and dank, foul and dank,
+            By wharf and sewer and slimy bank;
+          Darker and darker the farther I go,
+          Baser and baser the richer I grow;
+                Who dare sport with the sin-defiled?
+              Shrink from me, turn from me, mother and child._
+
+              _Strong and free, strong and free,
+            The floodgates are open, away to the sea,
+              Free and strong, free and strong,
+            Cleansing my streams as I hurry along,
+          To the golden sands, and the leaping bar,
+          And the taintless tide that awaits me afar.
+          As I lose myself in the infinite main,
+          Like a soul that has sinned and is pardoned again.
+                Undefiled, for the undefiled;
+              Play by me, bathe in me, mother and child._
+
+So Tom went down; and all the while he never saw the Irishwoman going
+down behind him.
+
+          "And is there care in heaven? and is there love
+           In heavenly spirits to these creatures base
+           That may compassion of their evils move?
+           There is:--else much more wretched were the case
+           Of men than beasts: But oh! the exceeding grace
+           Of Highest God that loves His creatures so,
+           And all His works with mercy doth embrace,
+           That blessed Angels He sends to and fro,
+           To serve to wicked man, to serve His wicked foe!"
+
+                                             SPENSER.
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER II
+
+
+[Illustration: "A quiet, silent, rich, happy place."--_P. 35._]
+
+A MILE off, and a thousand feet down.
+
+So Tom found it; though it seemed as if he could have chucked a pebble
+on to the back of the woman in the red petticoat who was weeding in the
+garden, or even across the dale to the rocks beyond. For the bottom of
+the valley was just one field broad, and on the other side ran the
+stream; and above it, grey crag, grey down, grey stair, grey moor walled
+up to heaven.
+
+A quiet, silent, rich, happy place; a narrow crack cut deep into the
+earth; so deep, and so out of the way, that the bad bogies can hardly
+find it out. The name of the place is Vendale; and if you want to see it
+for yourself, you must go up into the High Craven, and search from
+Bolland Forest north by Ingleborough, to the Nine Standards and Cross
+Fell; and if you have not found it, you must turn south, and search the
+Lake Mountains, down to Scaw Fell and the sea; and then, if you have not
+found it, you must go northward again by merry Carlisle, and search the
+Cheviots all across, from Annan Water to Berwick Law; and then, whether
+you have found Vendale or not, you will have found such a country, and
+such a people, as ought to make you proud of being a British boy.
+
+So Tom went to go down; and first he went down three hundred feet of
+steep heather, mixed up with loose brown gritstone, as rough as a file;
+which was not pleasant to his poor little heels, as he came bump, stump,
+jump, down the steep. And still he thought he could throw a stone into
+the garden.
+
+Then he went down three hundred feet of limestone terraces, one below
+the other, as straight as if a carpenter had ruled them with his ruler
+and then cut them out with his chisel. There was no heath there, but--
+
+First, a little grass slope, covered with the prettiest flowers,
+rockrose and saxifrage, and thyme and basil, and all sorts of sweet
+herbs.
+
+Then bump down a two-foot step of limestone.
+
+Then another bit of grass and flowers.
+
+Then bump down a one-foot step.
+
+Then another bit of grass and flowers for fifty yards, as steep as the
+house-roof, where he had to slide down on his dear little tail.
+
+Then another step of stone, ten feet high; and there he had to stop
+himself, and crawl along the edge to find a crack; for if he had rolled
+over, he would have rolled right into the old woman's garden, and
+frightened her out of her wits.
+
+Then, when he had found a dark narrow crack, full of green-stalked fern,
+such as hangs in the basket in the drawing-room, and had crawled down
+through it, with knees and elbows, as he would down a chimney, there
+was another grass slope, and another step, and so on, till--oh, dear me!
+I wish it was all over; and so did he. And yet he thought he could throw
+a stone into the old woman's garden.
+
+At last he came to a bank of beautiful shrubs; white-beam with its great
+silver-backed leaves, and mountain-ash, and oak; and below them cliff
+and crag, cliff and crag, with great beds of crown-ferns and wood-sedge;
+while through the shrubs he could see the stream sparkling, and hear it
+murmur on the white pebbles. He did not know that it was three hundred
+feet below.
+
+You would have been giddy, perhaps, at looking down: but Tom was not. He
+was a brave little chimney-sweep; and when he found himself on the top
+of a high cliff, instead of sitting down and crying for his baba (though
+he never had had any baba to cry for), he said, "Ah, this will just suit
+me!" though he was very tired; and down he went, by stock and stone,
+sedge and ledge, bush and rush, as if he had been born a jolly little
+black ape, with four hands instead of two.
+
+And all the while he never saw the Irishwoman coming down behind him.
+
+But he was getting terribly tired now. The burning sun on the fells had
+sucked him up; but the damp heat of the woody crag sucked him up still
+more; and the perspiration ran out of the ends of his fingers and toes,
+and washed him cleaner than he had been for a whole year. But, of
+course, he dirtied everything terribly as he went. There has been a
+great black smudge all down the crag ever since. And there have been
+more black beetles in Vendale since than ever were known before; all, of
+course, owing to Tom's having blacked the original papa of them all,
+just as he was setting off to be married, with a sky-blue coat and
+scarlet leggings, as smart as a gardener's dog with a polyanthus in his
+mouth.
+
+At last he got to the bottom. But, behold, it was not the bottom--as
+people usually find when they are coming down a mountain. For at the
+foot of the crag were heaps and heaps of fallen limestone of every size
+from that of your head to that of a stage-waggon, with holes between
+them full of sweet heath-fern; and before Tom got through them, he was
+out in the bright sunshine again; and then he felt, once for all and
+suddenly, as people generally do, that he was b-e-a-t, beat.
+
+You must expect to be beat a few times in your life, little man, if you
+live such a life as a man ought to live, let you be as strong and
+healthy as you may: and when you are, you will find it a very ugly
+feeling. I hope that that day you may have a stout staunch friend by you
+who is not beat; for, if you have not, you had best lie where you are,
+and wait for better times, as poor Tom did.
+
+He could not get on. The sun was burning, and yet he felt chill all
+over. He was quite empty, and yet he felt quite sick. There was but two
+hundred yards of smooth pasture between him and the cottage, and yet he
+could not walk down it. He could hear the stream murmuring only one
+field beyond it, and yet it seemed to him as if it was a hundred miles
+off.
+
+He lay down on the grass till the beetles ran over him, and the flies
+settled on his nose. I don't know when he would have got up again, if
+the gnats and the midges had not taken compassion on him. But the gnats
+blew their trumpets so loud in his ear, and the midges nibbled so at his
+hands and face wherever they could find a place free from soot, that at
+last he woke up, and stumbled away, down over a low wall, and into a
+narrow road, and up to the cottage door.
+
+And a neat pretty cottage it was, with clipped yew hedges all round the
+garden, and yews inside too, cut into peacocks and trumpets and teapots
+and all kinds of queer shapes. And out of the open door came a noise
+like that of the frogs on the Great-A, when they know that it is going
+to be scorching hot to-morrow--and how they know that I don't know, and
+you don't know, and nobody knows.
+
+He came slowly up to the open door, which was all hung round with
+clematis and roses; and then peeped in, half afraid.
+
+And there sat by the empty fireplace, which was filled with a pot of
+sweet herbs, the nicest old woman that ever was seen, in her red
+petticoat, and short dimity bedgown, and clean white cap, with a black
+silk handkerchief over it, tied under her chin. At her feet sat the
+grandfather of all the cats; and opposite her sat, on two benches,
+twelve or fourteen neat, rosy, chubby little children, learning their
+Chris-cross-row; and gabble enough they made about it.
+
+Such a pleasant cottage it was, with a shiny clean stone floor, and
+curious old prints on the walls, and an old black oak sideboard full of
+bright pewter and brass dishes, and a cuckoo clock in the corner, which
+began shouting as soon as Tom appeared: not that it was frightened at
+Tom, but that it was just eleven o'clock.
+
+All the children started at Tom's dirty black figure,--the girls began
+to cry, and the boys began to laugh, and all pointed at him rudely
+enough; but Tom was too tired to care for that.
+
+"What art thou, and what dost want?" cried the old dame. "A
+chimney-sweep! Away with thee! I'll have no sweeps here."
+
+"Water," said poor little Tom, quite faint.
+
+"Water? There's plenty i' the beck," she said, quite sharply.
+
+"But I can't get there; I'm most clemmed with hunger and drought." And
+Tom sank down upon the door-step, and laid his head against the post.
+
+And the old dame looked at him through her spectacles one minute, and
+two, and three; and then she said, "He's sick; and a bairn's a bairn,
+sweep or none."
+
+"Water," said Tom.
+
+"God forgive me!" and she put by her spectacles, and rose, and came to
+Tom. "Water's bad for thee; I'll give thee milk." And she toddled off
+into the next room, and brought a cup of milk and a bit of bread.
+
+Tom drank the milk off at one draught, and then looked up, revived.
+
+"Where didst come from?" said the dame.
+
+"Over Fell, there," said Tom, and pointed up into the sky.
+
+"Over Harthover? and down Lewthwaite Crag? Art sure thou art not lying?"
+
+"Why should I?" said Tom, and leant his head against the post.
+
+"And how got ye up there?"
+
+"I came over from the Place"; and Tom was so tired and desperate he had
+no heart or time to think of a story, so he told all the truth in a few
+words.
+
+"Bless thy little heart! And thou hast not been stealing, then?"
+
+"No."
+
+"Bless thy little heart! and I'll warrant not. Why, God's guided the
+bairn, because he was innocent! Away from the Place, and over Harthover
+Fell, and down Lewthwaite Crag! Who ever heard the like, if God hadn't
+led him? Why dost not eat thy bread?"
+
+"I can't."
+
+"It's good enough, for I made it myself."
+
+"I can't," said Tom, and he laid his head on his knees, and then asked--
+
+"Is it Sunday?"
+
+"No, then; why should it be?"
+
+"Because I hear the church-bells ringing so."
+
+"Bless thy pretty heart! The bairn's sick. Come wi' me, and I'll hap
+thee up somewhere. If thou wert a bit cleaner I'd put thee in my own
+bed, for the Lord's sake. But come along here."
+
+But when Tom tried to get up, he was so tired and giddy that she had to
+help him and lead him.
+
+She put him in an outhouse upon soft sweet hay and an old rug, and bade
+him sleep off his walk, and she would come to him when school was over,
+in an hour's time.
+
+And so she went in again, expecting Tom to fall fast asleep at once.
+
+But Tom did not fall asleep.
+
+Instead of it he turned and tossed and kicked about in the strangest
+way, and felt so hot all over that he longed to get into the river and
+cool himself; and then he fell half asleep, and dreamt that he heard the
+little white lady crying to him, "Oh, you're so dirty; go and be
+washed"; and then that he heard the Irishwoman saying, "Those that wish
+to be clean, clean they will be." And then he heard the church-bells
+ring so loud, close to him too, that he was sure it must be Sunday, in
+spite of what the old dame had said; and he would go to church, and see
+what a church was like inside, for he had never been in one, poor little
+fellow, in all his life. But the people would never let him come in, all
+over soot and dirt like that. He must go to the river and wash first.
+And he said out loud again and again, though being half asleep he did
+not know it, "I must be clean, I must be clean."
+
+And all of a sudden he found himself, not in the outhouse on the hay,
+but in the middle of a meadow, over the road, with the stream just
+before him, saying continually, "I must be clean, I must be clean." He
+had got there on his own legs, between sleep and awake, as children will
+often get out of bed, and go about the room, when they are not quite
+well. But he was not a bit surprised, and went on to the bank of the
+brook, and lay down on the grass, and looked into the clear, clear
+limestone water, with every pebble at the bottom bright and clean, while
+the little silver trout dashed about in fright at the sight of his black
+face; and he dipped his hand in and found it so cool, cool, cool; and he
+said, "I will be a fish; I will swim in the water; I must be clean, I
+must be clean."
+
+So he pulled off all his clothes in such haste that he tore some of
+them, which was easy enough with such ragged old things. And he put his
+poor hot sore feet into the water; and then his legs; and the farther he
+went in, the more the church-bells rang in his head.
+
+"Ah," said Tom, "I must be quick and wash myself; the bells are ringing
+quite loud now; and they will stop soon, and then the door will be shut,
+and I shall never be able to get in at all."
+
+Tom was mistaken: for in England the church doors are left open all
+service time, for everybody who likes to come in, Churchman or
+Dissenter; ay, even if he were a Turk or a Heathen; and if any man dared
+to turn him out, as long as he behaved quietly, the good old English law
+would punish that man, as he deserved, for ordering any peaceable person
+out of God's house, which belongs to all alike. But Tom did not know
+that, any more than he knew a great deal more which people ought to
+know.
+
+[Illustration: "She was the Queen of them all."--_P. 44._]
+
+And all the while he never saw the Irishwoman, not behind him this time,
+but before.
+
+For just before he came to the river side, she had stept down into the
+cool clear water; and her shawl and her petticoat floated off her, and
+the green water-weeds floated round her sides, and the white
+water-lilies floated round her head, and the fairies of the stream came
+up from the bottom and bore her away and down upon their arms; for she
+was the Queen of them all; and perhaps of more besides.
+
+"Where have you been?" they asked her.
+
+"I have been smoothing sick folks' pillows, and whispering sweet dreams
+into their ears; opening cottage casements, to let out the stifling air;
+coaxing little children away from gutters, and foul pools where fever
+breeds; turning women from the gin-shop door, and staying men's hands as
+they were going to strike their wives; doing all I can to help those who
+will not help themselves; and little enough that is, and weary work for
+me. But I have brought you a new little brother, and watched him safe
+all the way here."
+
+Then all the fairies laughed for joy at the thought that they had a
+little brother coming.
+
+"But mind, maidens, he must not see you, or know that you are here. He
+is but a savage now, and like the beasts which perish; and from the
+beasts which perish he must learn. So you must not play with him, or
+speak to him, or let him see you: but only keep him from being harmed."
+
+Then the fairies were sad, because they could not play with their new
+brother, but they always did what they were told.
+
+And their Queen floated away down the river; and whither she went,
+thither she came. But all this Tom, of course, never saw or heard: and
+perhaps if he had it would have made little difference in the story; for
+he was so hot and thirsty, and longed so to be clean for once, that he
+tumbled himself as quick as he could into the clear cool stream.
+
+And he had not been in it two minutes before he fell fast asleep, into
+the quietest, sunniest, cosiest sleep that ever he had in his life; and
+he dreamt about the green meadows by which he had walked that morning,
+and the tall elm-trees, and the sleeping cows; and after that he dreamt
+of nothing at all.
+
+The reason of his falling into such a delightful sleep is very simple;
+and yet hardly any one has found it out. It was merely that the fairies
+took him.
+
+Some people think that there are no fairies. Cousin Cramchild tells
+little folks so in his Conversations. Well, perhaps there are none--in
+Boston, U.S., where he was raised. There are only a clumsy lot of
+spirits there, who can't make people hear without thumping on the table:
+but they get their living thereby, and I suppose that is all they want.
+And Aunt Agitate, in her Arguments on political economy, says there are
+none. Well, perhaps there are none--in her political economy. But it is
+a wide world, my little man--and thank Heaven for it, for else, between
+crinolines and theories, some of us would get squashed--and plenty of
+room in it for fairies, without people seeing them; unless, of course,
+they look in the right place. The most wonderful and the strongest
+things in the world, you know, are just the things which no one can see.
+There is life in you; and it is the life in you which makes you grow,
+and move, and think: and yet you can't see it. And there is steam in a
+steam-engine; and that is what makes it move: and yet you can't see it;
+and so there may be fairies in the world, and they may be just what
+makes the world go round to the old tune of
+
+          "_C'est l'amour, l'amour, l'amour
+            Qui fait le monde a la ronde:_"
+
+and yet no one may be able to see them except those whose hearts are
+going round to that same tune. At all events, we will make believe that
+there are fairies in the world. It will not be the last time by many a
+one that we shall have to make believe. And yet, after all, there is no
+need for that. There must be fairies; for this is a fairy tale: and how
+can one have a fairy tale if there are no fairies?
+
+You don't see the logic of that? Perhaps not. Then please not to see the
+logic of a great many arguments exactly like it, which you will hear
+before your beard is grey.
+
+The kind old dame came back at twelve, when school was over, to look at
+Tom: but there was no Tom there. She looked about for his footprints;
+but the ground was so hard that there was no slot, as they say in dear
+old North Devon. And if you grow up to be a brave healthy man, you may
+know some day what no slot means, and know too, I hope, what a slot does
+mean--a broad slot, with blunt claws, which makes a man put out his
+cigar, and set his teeth, and tighten his girths, when he sees it; and
+what his rights mean, if he has them, brow, bay, tray, and points; and
+see something worth seeing between Haddon Wood and Countisbury Cliff,
+with good Mr. Palk Collyns to show you the way, and mend your bones as
+fast as you smash them. Only when that jolly day comes, please don't
+break your neck; stogged in a mire you never will be, I trust; for you
+are a heath-cropper bred and born.
+
+So the old dame went in again quite sulky, thinking that little Tom had
+tricked her with a false story, and shammed ill, and then run away
+again.
+
+But she altered her mind the next day. For, when Sir John and the rest
+of them had run themselves out of breath, and lost Tom, they went back
+again, looking very foolish.
+
+And they looked more foolish still when Sir John heard more of the story
+from the nurse; and more foolish still, again, when they heard the whole
+story from Miss Ellie, the little lady in white. All she had seen was a
+poor little black chimney-sweep, crying and sobbing, and going to get
+up the chimney again. Of course, she was very much frightened: and no
+wonder. But that was all. The boy had taken nothing in the room; by the
+mark of his little sooty feet, they could see that he had never been off
+the hearthrug till the nurse caught hold of him. It was all a mistake.
+
+So Sir John told Grimes to go home, and promised him five shillings if
+he would bring the boy quietly up to him, without beating him, that he
+might be sure of the truth. For he took for granted, and Grimes too,
+that Tom had made his way home.
+
+But no Tom came back to Mr. Grimes that evening; and he went to the
+police-office, to tell them to look out for the boy. But no Tom was
+heard of. As for his having gone over those great fells to Vendale, they
+no more dreamed of that than of his having gone to the moon.
+
+So Mr. Grimes came up to Harthover next day with a very sour face; but
+when he got there, Sir John was over the hills and far away; and Mr.
+Grimes had to sit in the outer servants' hall all day, and drink strong
+ale to wash away his sorrows; and they were washed away long before Sir
+John came back.
+
+For good Sir John had slept very badly that night; and he said to his
+lady, "My dear, the boy must have got over into the grouse-moors, and
+lost himself; and he lies very heavily on my conscience, poor little
+lad. But I know what I will do."
+
+So, at five the next morning up he got, and into his bath, and into his
+shooting-jacket and gaiters, and into the stableyard, like a fine old
+English gentleman, with a face as red as a rose, and a hand as hard as a
+table, and a back as broad as a bullock's; and bade them bring his
+shooting pony, and the keeper to come on his pony, and the huntsman, and
+the first whip, and the second whip, and the under-keeper with the
+bloodhound in a leash--a great dog as tall as a calf, of the colour of a
+gravel-walk, with mahogany ears and nose, and a throat like a
+church-bell. They took him up to the place where Tom had gone into the
+wood; and there the hound lifted up his mighty voice, and told them all
+he knew.
+
+Then he took them to the place where Tom had climbed the wall; and they
+shoved it down, and all got through.
+
+And then the wise dog took them over the moor, and over the fells, step
+by step, very slowly; for the scent was a day old, you know, and very
+light from the heat and drought. But that was why cunning old Sir John
+started at five in the morning.
+
+And at last he came to the top of Lewthwaite Crag, and there he bayed,
+and looked up in their faces, as much as to say, "I tell you he is gone
+down here!"
+
+They could hardly believe that Tom would have gone so far; and when they
+looked at that awful cliff, they could never believe that he would have
+dared to face it. But if the dog said so, it must be true.
+
+"Heaven forgive us!" said Sir John. "If we find him at all, we shall
+find him lying at the bottom." And he slapped his great hand upon his
+great thigh, and said--
+
+"Who will go down over Lewthwaite Crag, and see if that boy is alive? Oh
+that I were twenty years younger, and I would go down myself!" And so he
+would have done, as well as any sweep in the county. Then he said--
+
+"Twenty pounds to the man who brings me that boy alive!" and as was his
+way, what he said he meant.
+
+Now among the lot was a little groom-boy, a very little groom indeed;
+and he was the same who had ridden up the court, and told Tom to come to
+the Hall; and he said--
+
+"Twenty pounds or none, I will go down over Lewthwaite Crag, if it's
+only for the poor boy's sake. For he was as civil a spoken little chap
+as ever climbed a flue."
+
+So down over Lewthwaite Crag he went: a very smart groom he was at the
+top, and a very shabby one at the bottom; for he tore his gaiters, and
+he tore his breeches, and he tore his jacket, and he burst his braces,
+and he burst his boots, and he lost his hat, and what was worst of all,
+he lost his shirt pin, which he prized very much, for it was gold, and
+he had won it in a raffle at Malton, and there was a figure at the top
+of it, of t'ould mare, noble old Beeswing herself, as natural as life;
+so it was a really severe loss: but he never saw anything of Tom.
+
+And all the while Sir John and the rest were riding round, full three
+miles to the right, and back again, to get into Vendale, and to the foot
+of the crag.
+
+When they came to the old dame's school, all the children came out to
+see. And the old dame came out too; and when she saw Sir John, she
+curtsied very low, for she was a tenant of his.
+
+"Well, dame, and how are you?" said Sir John.
+
+"Blessings on you as broad as your back, Harthover," says she--she
+didn't call him Sir John, but only Harthover, for that is the fashion in
+the North country--"and welcome into Vendale: but you're no hunting the
+fox this time of the year?"
+
+"I am hunting, and strange game too," said he.
+
+"Blessings on your heart, and what makes you look so sad the morn?"
+
+"I'm looking for a lost child, a chimney-sweep, that is run away."
+
+"Oh, Harthover, Harthover," says she, "ye were always a just man and a
+merciful; and ye'll no harm the poor little lad if I give you tidings of
+him?"
+
+"Not I, not I, dame. I'm afraid we hunted him out of the house all on a
+miserable mistake, and the hound has brought him to the top of
+Lewthwaite Crag, and----"
+
+Whereat the old dame broke out crying, without letting him finish his
+story.
+
+"So he told me the truth after all, poor little dear! Ah, first
+thoughts are best, and a body's heart'll guide them right, if they will
+but hearken to it." And then she told Sir John all.
+
+"Bring the dog here, and lay him on," said Sir John, without another
+word, and he set his teeth very hard.
+
+And the dog opened at once; and went away at the back of the cottage,
+over the road, and over the meadow, and through a bit of alder copse;
+and there, upon an alder stump, they saw Tom's clothes lying. And then
+they knew as much about it all as there was any need to know.
+
+And Tom?
+
+Ah, now comes the most wonderful part of this wonderful story. Tom, when
+he woke, for of course he woke--children always wake after they have
+slept exactly as long as is good for them--found himself swimming about
+in the stream, being about four inches, or--that I may be
+accurate--3.87902 inches long, and having round the parotid region of
+his fauces a set of external gills (I hope you understand all the big
+words) just like those of a sucking eft, which he mistook for a lace
+frill, till he pulled at them, found he hurt himself, and made up his
+mind that they were part of himself, and best left alone.
+
+In fact, the fairies had turned him into a water-baby.
+
+A water-baby? You never heard of a water-baby. Perhaps not. That is the
+very reason why this story was written. There are a great many things in
+the world which you never heard of; and a great many more which nobody
+ever heard of; and a great many things, too, which nobody will ever hear
+of, at least until the coming of the Cocqcigrues, when man shall be the
+measure of all things.
+
+"But there are no such things as water-babies."
+
+How do you know that? Have you been there to see? And if you had been
+there to see, and had seen none, that would not prove that there were
+none. If Mr. Garth does not find a fox in Eversley Wood--as folks
+sometimes fear he never will--that does not prove that there are no such
+things as foxes. And as is Eversley Wood to all the woods in England, so
+are the waters we know to all the waters in the world. And no one has a
+right to say that no water-babies exist, till they have seen no
+water-babies existing; which is quite a different thing, mind, from not
+seeing water-babies; and a thing which nobody ever did, or perhaps ever
+will do.
+
+"But surely if there were water-babies, somebody would have caught one
+at least?"
+
+Well. How do you know that somebody has not?
+
+"But they would have put it into spirits, or into the _Illustrated
+News_, or perhaps cut it into two halves, poor dear little thing, and
+sent one to Professor Owen, and one to Professor Huxley, to see what
+they would each say about it."
+
+Ah, my dear little man! that does not follow at all, as you will see
+before the end of the story.
+
+"But a water-baby is contrary to nature."
+
+Well, but, my dear little man, you must learn to talk about such things,
+when you grow older, in a very different way from that. You must not
+talk about "ain't" and "can't" when you speak of this great wonderful
+world round you, of which the wisest man knows only the very smallest
+corner, and is, as the great Sir Isaac Newton said, only a child picking
+up pebbles on the shore of a boundless ocean.
+
+You must not say that this cannot be, or that that is contrary to
+nature. You do not know what Nature is, or what she can do; and nobody
+knows; not even Sir Roderick Murchison, or Professor Owen, or Professor
+Sedgwick, or Professor Huxley, or Mr. Darwin, or Professor Faraday, or
+Mr. Grove, or any other of the great men whom good boys are taught to
+respect. They are very wise men; and you must listen respectfully to all
+they say: but even if they should say, which I am sure they never would,
+"That cannot exist. That is contrary to nature," you must wait a little,
+and see; for perhaps even they may be wrong. It is only children who
+read Aunt Agitate's Arguments, or Cousin Cramchild's Conversations; or
+lads who go to popular lectures, and see a man pointing at a few big
+ugly pictures on the wall, or making nasty smells with bottles and
+squirts, for an hour or two, and calling that anatomy or chemistry--who
+talk about "cannot exist," and "contrary to nature." Wise men are afraid
+to say that there is anything contrary to nature, except what is
+contrary to mathematical truth; for two and two cannot make five, and
+two straight lines cannot join twice, and a part cannot be as great as
+the whole, and so on (at least, so it seems at present): but the wiser
+men are, the less they talk about "cannot." That is a very rash,
+dangerous word, that "cannot"; and if people use it too often, the Queen
+of all the Fairies, who makes the clouds thunder and the fleas bite, and
+takes just as much trouble about one as about the other, is apt to
+astonish them suddenly by showing them, that though they say she cannot,
+yet she can, and what is more, will, whether they approve or not.
+
+And therefore it is, that there are dozens and hundreds of things in the
+world which we should certainly have said were contrary to nature, if we
+did not see them going on under our eyes all day long. If people had
+never seen little seeds grow into great plants and trees, of quite
+different shape from themselves, and these trees again produce fresh
+seeds, to grow into fresh trees, they would have said, "The thing cannot
+be; it is contrary to nature." And they would have been quite as right
+in saying so, as in saying that most other things cannot be.
+
+Or suppose again, that you had come, like M. Du Chaillu, a traveller
+from unknown parts; and that no human being had ever seen or heard of an
+elephant. And suppose that you described him to people, and said, "This
+is the shape, and plan, and anatomy of the beast, and of his feet, and
+of his trunk, and of his grinders, and of his tusks, though they are
+not tusks at all, but two fore teeth run mad; and this is the section of
+his skull, more like a mushroom than a reasonable skull of a reasonable
+or unreasonable beast; and so forth, and so forth; and though the beast
+(which I assure you I have seen and shot) is first cousin to the little
+hairy coney of Scripture, second cousin to a pig, and (I suspect)
+thirteenth or fourteenth cousin to a rabbit, yet he is the wisest of all
+beasts, and can do everything save read, write, and cast accounts."
+People would surely have said, "Nonsense; your elephant is contrary to
+nature"; and have thought you were telling stories--as the French
+thought of Le Vaillant when he came back to Paris and said that he had
+shot a giraffe; and as the king of the Cannibal Islands thought of the
+English sailor, when he said that in his country water turned to marble,
+and rain fell as feathers. They would tell you, the more they knew of
+science, "Your elephant is an impossible monster, contrary to the laws
+of comparative anatomy, as far as yet known." To which you would answer
+the less, the more you thought.
+
+Did not learned men, too, hold, till within the last twenty-five years,
+that a flying dragon was an impossible monster? And do we not now know
+that there are hundreds of them found fossil up and down the world?
+People call them Pterodactyles: but that is only because they are
+ashamed to call them flying dragons, after denying so long that flying
+dragons could exist.
+
+The truth is, that folks' fancy that such and such things cannot be,
+simply because they have not seen them, is worth no more than a savage's
+fancy that there cannot be such a thing as a locomotive, because he
+never saw one running wild in the forest. Wise men know that their
+business is to examine what is, and not to settle what is not. They know
+that there are elephants; they know that there have been flying dragons;
+and the wiser they are, the less inclined they will be to say positively
+that there are no water-babies.
+
+No water-babies, indeed? Why, wise men of old said that everything on
+earth had its double in the water; and you may see that that is, if not
+quite true, still quite as true as most other theories which you are
+likely to hear for many a day. There are land-babies--then why not
+water-babies? _Are there not water-rats, water-flies, water-crickets,
+water-crabs, water-tortoises, water-scorpions, water-tigers and
+water-hogs, water-cats and water-dogs, sea-lions and sea-bears,
+sea-horses and sea-elephants, sea-mice and sea-urchins, sea-razors and
+sea-pens, sea-combs and sea-fans; and of plants, are there not
+water-grass, and water-crowfoot, water-milfoil, and so on, without end?_
+
+"But all these things are only nicknames; the water things are not
+really akin to the land things."
+
+That's not always true. They are, in millions of cases, not only of the
+same family, but actually the same individual creatures. Do not even you
+know that a green drake, and an alder-fly, and a dragon-fly, live under
+water till they change their skins, just as Tom changed his? And if a
+water animal can continually change into a land animal, why should not
+a land animal sometimes change into a water animal? Don't be put down by
+any of Cousin Cramchild's arguments, but stand up to him like a man, and
+answer him (quite respectfully, of course) thus:--
+
+If Cousin Cramchild says, that if there are water-babies, they must grow
+into water-men, ask him how he knows that they do not? and then, how he
+knows that they must, any more than the Proteus of the Adelsberg caverns
+grows into a perfect newt.
+
+If he says that it is too strange a transformation for a land-baby to
+turn into a water-baby, ask him if he ever heard of the transformation
+of Syllis, or the Distomas, or the common jelly-fish, of which M.
+Quatrefages says excellently well--"Who would not exclaim that a miracle
+had come to pass, if he saw a reptile come out of the egg dropped by the
+hen in his poultry-yard, and the reptile give birth at once to an
+indefinite number of fishes and birds? Yet the history of the jelly-fish
+is quite as wonderful as that would be." Ask him if he knows about all
+this; and if he does not, tell him to go and look for himself; and
+advise him (very respectfully, of course) to settle no more what strange
+things cannot happen, till he has seen what strange things do happen
+every day.
+
+If he says that things cannot degrade, that is, change downwards into
+lower forms, ask him, who told him that water-babies were lower than
+land-babies? But even if they were, does he know about the strange
+degradation of the common goose-barnacles, which one finds sticking on
+ships' bottoms; or the still stranger degradation of some cousins of
+theirs, of which one hardly likes to talk, so shocking and ugly it is?
+
+And, lastly, if he says (as he most certainly will) that these
+transformations only take place in the lower animals, and not in the
+higher, say that that seems to little boys, and to some grown people, a
+very strange fancy. For if the changes of the lower animals are so
+wonderful, and so difficult to discover, why should not there be changes
+in the higher animals far more wonderful, and far more difficult to
+discover? And may not man, the crown and flower of all things, undergo
+some change as much more wonderful than all the rest, as the Great
+Exhibition is more wonderful than a rabbit-burrow? Let him answer that.
+And if he says (as he will) that not having seen such a change in his
+experience, he is not bound to believe it, ask him respectfully, where
+his microscope has been? Does not each of us, in coming into this world,
+go through a transformation just as wonderful as that of a sea-egg, or a
+butterfly? and do not reason and analogy, as well as Scripture, tell us
+that that transformation is not the last? and that, though what we shall
+be, we know not, yet we are here but as the crawling caterpillar, and
+shall be hereafter as the perfect fly. The old Greeks, heathens as they
+were, saw as much as that two thousand years ago; and I care very little
+for Cousin Cramchild, if he sees even less than they. And so forth, and
+so forth, till he is quite cross. And then tell him that if there are
+no water-babies, at least there ought to be; and that, at least, he
+cannot answer.
+
+And meanwhile, my dear little man, till you know a great deal more about
+nature than Professor Owen and Professor Huxley put together, don't tell
+me about what cannot be, or fancy that anything is too wonderful to be
+true. "We are fearfully and wonderfully made," said old David; and so we
+are; and so is everything around us, down to the very deal table. Yes;
+much more fearfully and wonderfully made, already, is the table, as it
+stands now, nothing but a piece of dead deal wood, than if, as foxes
+say, and geese believe, spirits could make it dance, or talk to you by
+rapping on it.
+
+Am I in earnest? Oh dear no! Don't you know that this is a fairy tale,
+and all fun and pretence; and that you are not to believe one word of
+it, even if it is true?
+
+But at all events, so it happened to Tom. And, therefore, the keeper,
+and the groom, and Sir John made a great mistake, and were very unhappy
+(Sir John at least) without any reason, when they found a black thing in
+the water, and said it was Tom's body, and that he had been drowned.
+They were utterly mistaken. Tom was quite alive; and cleaner, and
+merrier, than he ever had been. The fairies had washed him, you see, in
+the swift river, so thoroughly, that not only his dirt, but his whole
+husk and shell had been washed quite off him, and the pretty little real
+Tom was washed out of the inside of it, and swam away, as a caddis does
+when its case of stones and silk is bored through, and away it goes on
+its back, paddling to the shore, there to split its skin, and fly away
+as a caperer, on four fawn-coloured wings, with long legs and horns.
+They are foolish fellows, the caperers, and fly into the candle at
+night, if you leave the door open. We will hope Tom will be wiser, now
+he has got safe out of his sooty old shell.
+
+But good Sir John did not understand all this, not being a fellow of the
+Linnaean Society; and he took it into his head that Tom was drowned. When
+they looked into the empty pockets of his shell, and found no jewels
+there, nor money--nothing but three marbles, and a brass button with a
+string to it--then Sir John did something as like crying as ever he did
+in his life, and blamed himself more bitterly than he need have done. So
+he cried, and the groom-boy cried, and the huntsman cried, and the dame
+cried, and the little girl cried, and the dairymaid cried, and the old
+nurse cried (for it was somewhat her fault), and my lady cried, for
+though people have wigs, that is no reason why they should not have
+hearts; but the keeper did not cry, though he had been so good-natured
+to Tom the morning before; for he was so dried up with running after
+poachers, that you could no more get tears out of him than milk out of
+leather: and Grimes did not cry, for Sir John gave him ten pounds, and
+he drank it all in a week. Sir John sent, far and wide, to find Tom's
+father and mother: but he might have looked till Doomsday for them, for
+one was dead, and the other was in Botany Bay. And the little girl would
+not play with her dolls for a whole week, and never forgot poor little
+Tom. And soon my lady put a pretty little tombstone over Tom's shell in
+the little churchyard in Vendale, where the old dalesmen all sleep side
+by side between the limestone crags. And the dame decked it with
+garlands every Sunday, till she grew so old that she could not stir
+abroad; then the little children decked it for her. And always she sang
+an old old song, as she sat spinning what she called her wedding-dress.
+The children could not understand it, but they liked it none the less
+for that; for it was very sweet, and very sad; and that was enough for
+them. And these are the words of it:--
+
+          _When all the world is young, lad,
+            And all the trees are green;
+          And every goose a swan, lad,
+            And every lass a queen;
+          Then hey for boot and horse, lad,
+            And round the world away;
+          Young blood must have its course, lad,
+            And every dog his day._
+
+          _When all the world is old, lad,
+            And all the trees are brown;
+          And all the sport is stale, lad,
+            And all the wheels run down;
+          Creep home, and take your place there,
+            The spent and maimed among:
+          God grant you find one face there,
+            You loved when all was young._
+
+Those are the words: but they are only the body of it: the soul of the
+song was the dear old woman's sweet face, and sweet voice, and the sweet
+old air to which she sang; and that, alas! one cannot put on paper. And
+at last she grew so stiff and lame, that the angels were forced to carry
+her; and they helped her on with her wedding-dress, and carried her up
+over Harthover Fells, and a long way beyond that too; and there was a
+new schoolmistress in Vendale, and we will hope that she was not
+certificated.
+
+And all the while Tom was swimming about in the river, with a pretty
+little lace-collar of gills about his neck, as lively as a grig, and as
+clean as a fresh-run salmon.
+
+Now if you don't like my story, then go to the schoolroom and learn your
+multiplication-table, and see if you like that better. Some people, no
+doubt, would do so. So much the better for us, if not for them. It takes
+all sorts, they say, to make a world.
+
+          "He prayeth well who loveth well
+           Both men and bird and beast;
+           He prayeth best who loveth best
+           All things both great and small:
+           For the dear God who loveth us,
+           He made and loveth all."
+
+                                  COLERIDGE.
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER III
+
+
+TOM was now quite amphibious. You do not know what that means?
+
+You had better, then, ask the nearest Government pupil-teacher, who may
+possibly answer you smartly enough, thus--
+
+"Amphibious. Adjective, derived from two Greek words, _amphi_, a fish,
+and _bios_, a beast. An animal supposed by our ignorant ancestors to be
+compounded of a fish and a beast; which therefore, like the
+hippopotamus, can't live on the land, and dies in the water."
+
+However that may be, Tom was amphibious: and what is better still, he
+was clean. For the first time in his life, he felt how comfortable it
+was to have nothing on him but himself. But he only enjoyed it: he did
+not know it, or think about it; just as you enjoy life and health, and
+yet never think about being alive and healthy; and may it be long before
+you have to think about it!
+
+He did not remember having ever been dirty. Indeed, he did not remember
+any of his old troubles, being tired, or hungry, or beaten, or sent up
+dark chimneys. Since that sweet sleep, he had forgotten all about his
+master, and Harthover Place, and the little white girl, and in a word,
+all that had happened to him when he lived before; and what was best of
+all, he had forgotten all the bad words which he had learned from
+Grimes, and the rude boys with whom he used to play.
+
+That is not strange: for you know, when you came into this world, and
+became a land-baby, you remembered nothing. So why should he, when he
+became a water-baby?
+
+Then have you lived before?
+
+My dear child, who can tell? One can only tell that, by remembering
+something which happened where we lived before; and as we remember
+nothing, we know nothing about it; and no book, and no man, can ever
+tell us certainly.
+
+There was a wise man once, a very wise man, and a very good man, who
+wrote a poem about the feelings which some children have about having
+lived before; and this is what he said--
+
+          "_Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting;
+            The soul that rises with us, our life's star,
+                Hath elsewhere had its setting,
+                  And cometh from afar:
+              Not in entire forgetfulness,
+              And not in utter nakedness,
+            But trailing clouds of glory, do we come
+                From God, who is our home._"
+
+There, you can know no more than that. But if I was you, I would believe
+that. For then the great fairy Science, who is likely to be queen of
+all the fairies for many a year to come, can only do you good, and never
+do you harm; and instead of fancying, with some people, that your body
+makes your soul, as if a steam-engine could make its own coke; or, with
+some people, that your soul has nothing to do with your body, but is
+only stuck into it like a pin into a pin-cushion, to fall out with the
+first shake;--you will believe the one true,
+
+          _orthodox_,        _inductive_,
+          _rational_,        _deductive_,
+          _philosophical_,   _seductive_,
+          _logical_,         _productive_,
+          _irrefragable_,    _salutary_,
+          _nominalistic_,    _comfortable_,
+          _realistic_,
+          _and on-all-accounts-to-be-received_
+
+doctrine of this wonderful fairy tale; which is, that your soul makes
+your body, just as a snail makes his shell. For the rest, it is enough
+for us to be sure that whether or not we lived before, we shall live
+again; though not, I hope, as poor little heathen Tom did. For he went
+downward into the water: but we, I hope, shall go upward to a very
+different place.
+
+But Tom was very happy in the water. He had been sadly overworked in the
+land-world; and so now, to make up for that, he had nothing but holidays
+in the water-world for a long, long time to come. He had nothing to do
+now but enjoy himself, and look at all the pretty things which are to
+be seen in the cool clear water-world, where the sun is never too hot,
+and the frost is never too cold.
+
+And what did he live on? Water-cresses, perhaps; or perhaps water-gruel,
+and water-milk; too many land-babies do so likewise. But we do not know
+what one-tenth of the water-things eat; so we are not answerable for the
+water-babies.
+
+Sometimes he went along the smooth gravel water-ways, looking at the
+crickets which ran in and out among the stones, as rabbits do on land;
+or he climbed over the ledges of rock, and saw the sand-pipes hanging in
+thousands, with every one of them a pretty little head and legs peeping
+out; or he went into a still corner, and watched the caddises eating
+dead sticks as greedily as you would eat plum-pudding, and building
+their houses with silk and glue. Very fanciful ladies they were; none of
+them would keep to the same materials for a day. One would begin with
+some pebbles; then she would stick on a piece of green wood; then she
+found a shell, and stuck it on too; and the poor shell was alive, and
+did not like at all being taken to build houses with: but the caddis did
+not let him have any voice in the matter, being rude and selfish, as
+vain people are apt to be; then she stuck on a piece of rotten wood,
+then a very smart pink stone, and so on, till she was patched all over
+like an Irishman's coat. Then she found a long straw, five times as long
+as herself, and said, "Hurrah! my sister has a tail, and I'll have one
+too"; and she stuck it on her back, and marched about with it quite
+proud, though it was very inconvenient indeed. And, at that, tails
+became all the fashion among the caddis-baits in that pool, as they were
+at the end of the Long Pond last May, and they all toddled about with
+long straws sticking out behind, getting between each other's legs, and
+tumbling over each other, and looking so ridiculous, that Tom laughed at
+them till he cried, as we did. But they were quite right, you know; for
+people must always follow the fashion, even if it be spoon-bonnets.
+
+Then sometimes he came to a deep still reach; and there he saw the
+water-forests. They would have looked to you only little weeds: but Tom,
+you must remember, was so little that everything looked a hundred times
+as big to him as it does to you, just as things do to a minnow, who sees
+and catches the little water-creatures which you can only see in a
+microscope.
+
+And in the water-forest he saw the water-monkeys and water-squirrels
+(they had all six legs, though; everything almost has six legs in the
+water, except efts and water-babies); and nimbly enough they ran among
+the branches. There were water-flowers there too, in thousands; and Tom
+tried to pick them: but as soon as he touched them, they drew themselves
+in and turned into knots of jelly; and then Tom saw that they were all
+alive--bells, and stars, and wheels, and flowers, of all beautiful
+shapes and colours; and all alive and busy, just as Tom was. So now he
+found that there was a great deal more in the world than he had fancied
+at first sight.
+
+There was one wonderful little fellow, too, who peeped out of the top of
+a house built of round bricks. He had two big wheels, and one little
+one, all over teeth, spinning round and round like the wheels in a
+thrashing-machine; and Tom stood and stared at him, to see what he was
+going to make with his machinery. And what do you think he was doing?
+Brick-making. With his two big wheels he swept together all the mud
+which floated in the water: all that was nice in it he put into his
+stomach and ate; and all the mud he put into the little wheel on his
+breast, which really was a round hole set with teeth; and there he spun
+it into a neat hard round brick; and then he took it and stuck it on the
+top of his house-wall, and set to work to make another. Now was not he a
+clever little fellow?
+
+Tom thought so: but when he wanted to talk to him the brick-maker was
+much too busy and proud of his work to take notice of him.
+
+Now you must know that all the things under the water talk; only not
+such a language as ours; but such as horses, and dogs, and cows, and
+birds talk to each other; and Tom soon learned to understand them and
+talk to them; so that he might have had very pleasant company if he had
+only been a good boy. But I am sorry to say, he was too like some other
+little boys, very fond of hunting and tormenting creatures for mere
+sport. Some people say that boys cannot help it; that it is nature, and
+only a proof that we are all originally descended from beasts of prey.
+But whether it is nature or not, little boys can help it, and must help
+it. For if they have naughty, low, mischievous tricks in their nature,
+as monkeys have, that is no reason why they should give way to those
+tricks like monkeys, who know no better. And therefore they must not
+torment dumb creatures; for if they do, a certain old lady who is coming
+will surely give them exactly what they deserve.
+
+But Tom did not know that; and he pecked and howked the poor
+water-things about sadly, till they were all afraid of him, and got out
+of his way, or crept into their shells; so he had no one to speak to or
+play with.
+
+The water-fairies, of course, were very sorry to see him so unhappy, and
+longed to take him, and tell him how naughty he was, and teach him to be
+good, and to play and romp with him too: but they had been forbidden to
+do that. Tom had to learn his lesson for himself by sound and sharp
+experience, as many another foolish person has to do, though there may
+be many a kind heart yearning over them all the while, and longing to
+teach them what they can only teach themselves.
+
+At last one day he found a caddis, and wanted it to peep out of its
+house: but its house-door was shut. He had never seen a caddis with a
+house-door before: so what must he do, the meddlesome little fellow, but
+pull it open, to see what the poor lady was doing inside. What a shame!
+How should you like to have any one breaking your bedroom-door in, to
+see how you looked when you were in bed? So Tom broke to pieces the
+door, which was the prettiest little grating of silk, stuck all over
+with shining bits of crystal; and when he looked in, the caddis poked
+out her head, and it had turned into just the shape of a bird's. But
+when Tom spoke to her she could not answer; for her mouth and face were
+tight tied up in a new night-cap of neat pink skin. However, if she
+didn't answer, all the other caddises did; for they held up their hands
+and shrieked like the cats in Struwwelpeter: "_Oh, you nasty horrid boy;
+there you are at it again! And she had just laid herself up for a
+fortnight's sleep, and then she would have come out with such beautiful
+wings, and flown about, and laid such lots of eggs: and now you have
+broken her door, and she can't mend it because her mouth is tied up for
+a fortnight, and she will die. Who sent you here to worry us out of our
+lives?_"
+
+So Tom swam away. He was very much ashamed of himself, and felt all the
+naughtier; as little boys do when they have done wrong and won't say so.
+
+Then he came to a pool full of little trout, and began tormenting them,
+and trying to catch them: but they slipped through his fingers, and
+jumped clean out of water in their fright. But as Tom chased them, he
+came close to a great dark hover under an alder root, and out floushed a
+huge old brown trout ten times as big as he was, and ran right against
+him, and knocked all the breath out of his body; and I don't know which
+was the more frightened of the two.
+
+Then he went on sulky and lonely, as he deserved to be; and under a
+bank he saw a very ugly dirty creature sitting, about half as big as
+himself; which had six legs, and a big stomach, and a most ridiculous
+head with two great eyes and a face just like a donkey's.
+
+"Oh," said Tom, "you are an ugly fellow to be sure!" and he began making
+faces at him; and put his nose close to him, and halloed at him, like a
+very rude boy.
+
+When, hey presto; all the thing's donkey-face came off in a moment, and
+out popped a long arm with a pair of pincers at the end of it, and
+caught Tom by the nose. It did not hurt him much; but it held him quite
+tight.
+
+"Yah, ah! Oh, let me go!" cried Tom.
+
+"Then let me go," said the creature. "I want to be quiet. I want to
+split."
+
+Tom promised to let him alone, and he let go. "Why do you want to
+split?" said Tom.
+
+"Because my brothers and sisters have all split, and turned into
+beautiful creatures with wings; and I want to split too. Don't speak to
+me. I am sure I shall split. I will split!"
+
+Tom stood still, and watched him. And he swelled himself, and puffed,
+and stretched himself out stiff, and at last--crack, puff, bang--he
+opened all down his back, and then up to the top of his head.
+
+And out of his inside came the most slender, elegant, soft creature, as
+soft and smooth as Tom: but very pale and weak, like a little child who
+has been ill a long time in a dark room. It moved its legs very feebly;
+and looked about it half ashamed, like a girl when she goes for the
+first time into a ballroom; and then it began walking slowly up a grass
+stem to the top of the water.
+
+Tom was so astonished that he never said a word: but he stared with all
+his eyes. And he went up to the top of the water too, and peeped out to
+see what would happen.
+
+And as the creature sat in the warm bright sun, a wonderful change came
+over it. It grew strong and firm; the most lovely colours began to show
+on its body, blue and yellow and black, spots and bars and rings; out of
+its back rose four great wings of bright brown gauze; and its eyes grew
+so large that they filled all its head, and shone like ten thousand
+diamonds.
+
+"Oh, you beautiful creature!" said Tom; and he put out his hand to catch
+it.
+
+But the thing whirred up into the air, and hung poised on its wings a
+moment, and then settled down again by Tom quite fearless.
+
+"No!" it said, "you cannot catch me. I am a dragon-fly now, the king of
+all the flies; and I shall dance in the sunshine, and hawk over the
+river, and catch gnats, and have a beautiful wife like myself. I know
+what I shall do. Hurrah!" And he flew away into the air, and began
+catching gnats.
+
+"Oh! come back, come back," cried Tom, "you beautiful creature. I have
+no one to play with, and I am so lonely here. If you will but come back
+I will never try to catch you."
+
+"I don't care whether you do or not," said the dragon-fly; "for you
+can't. But when I have had my dinner, and looked a little about this
+pretty place, I will come back, and have a little chat about all I have
+seen in my travels. Why, what a huge tree this is! and what huge leaves
+on it!"
+
+It was only a big dock: but you know the dragon-fly had never seen any
+but little water-trees; starwort, and milfoil, and water-crowfoot, and
+such like; so it did look very big to him. Besides, he was very
+short-sighted, as all dragon-flies are; and never could see a yard
+before his nose; any more than a great many other folks, who are not
+half as handsome as he.
+
+The dragon-fly did come back, and chatted away with Tom. He was a little
+conceited about his fine colours and his large wings; but you know, he
+had been a poor dirty ugly creature all his life before; so there were
+great excuses for him. He was very fond of talking about all the
+wonderful things he saw in the trees and the meadows; and Tom liked to
+listen to him, for he had forgotten all about them. So in a little while
+they became great friends.
+
+And I am very glad to say, that Tom learned such a lesson that day, that
+he did not torment creatures for a long time after. And then the
+caddises grew quite tame, and used to tell him strange stories about the
+way they built their houses, and changed their skins, and turned at last
+into winged flies; till Tom began to long to change his skin, and have
+wings like them some day.
+
+And the trout and he made it up (for trout very soon forget if they have
+been frightened and hurt). So Tom used to play with them at hare and
+hounds, and great fun they had; and he used to try to leap out of the
+water, head over heels, as they did before a shower came on; but somehow
+he never could manage it. He liked most, though, to see them rising at
+the flies, as they sailed round and round under the shadow of the great
+oak, where the beetles fell flop into the water, and the green
+caterpillars let themselves down from the boughs by silk ropes for no
+reason at all; and then changed their foolish minds for no reason at all
+either; and hauled themselves up again into the tree, rolling up the
+rope in a ball between their paws; which is a very clever rope-dancer's
+trick, and neither Blondin nor Leotard could do it: but why they should
+take so much trouble about it no one can tell; for they cannot get their
+living, as Blondin and Leotard do, by trying to break their necks on a
+string.
+
+And very often Tom caught them just as they touched the water; and
+caught the alder-flies, and the caperers, and the cock-tailed duns and
+spinners, yellow, and brown, and claret, and grey, and gave them to his
+friends the trout. Perhaps he was not quite kind to the flies; but one
+must do a good turn to one's friends when one can.
+
+And at last he gave up catching even the flies; for he made acquaintance
+with one by accident and found him a very merry little fellow. And this
+was the way it happened; and it is all quite true.
+
+He was basking at the top of the water one hot day in July, catching
+duns and feeding the trout, when he saw a new sort, a dark grey little
+fellow with a brown head. He was a very little fellow indeed: but he
+made the most of himself, as people ought to do. He cocked up his head,
+and he cocked up his wings, and he cocked up his tail, and he cocked up
+the two whisks at his tail-end, and, in short, he looked the cockiest
+little man of all little men. And so he proved to be; for instead of
+getting away, he hopped upon Tom's finger, and sat there as bold as nine
+tailors; and he cried out in the tiniest, shrillest, squeakiest little
+voice you ever heard,
+
+"Much obliged to you, indeed; but I don't want it yet."
+
+"Want what?" said Tom, quite taken aback by his impudence.
+
+"Your leg, which you are kind enough to hold out for me to sit on. I
+must just go and see after my wife for a few minutes. Dear me! what a
+troublesome business a family is!" (though the idle little rogue did
+nothing at all, but left his poor wife to lay all the eggs by herself).
+"When I come back, I shall be glad of it, if you'll be so good as to
+keep it sticking out just so"; and off he flew.
+
+Tom thought him a very cool sort of personage; and still more so, when,
+in five minutes he came back, and said--"Ah, you were tired waiting?
+Well, your other leg will do as well."
+
+And he popped himself down on Tom's knee, and began chatting away in his
+squeaking voice.
+
+"So you live under the water? It's a low place. I lived there for some
+time; and was very shabby and dirty. But I didn't choose that that
+should last. So I turned respectable, and came up to the top, and put on
+this grey suit. It's a very business-like suit, you think, don't you?"
+
+"Very neat and quiet indeed," said Tom.
+
+"Yes, one must be quiet and neat and respectable, and all that sort of
+thing for a little, when one becomes a family man. But I'm tired of it,
+that's the truth. I've done quite enough business, I consider, in the
+last week, to last me my life. So I shall put on a ball-dress, and go
+out and be a smart man, and see the gay world, and have a dance or two.
+Why shouldn't one be jolly if one can?"
+
+"And what will become of your wife?"
+
+"Oh! she is a very plain stupid creature, and that's the truth; and
+thinks about nothing but eggs. If she chooses to come, why she may; and
+if not, why I go without her;--and here I go."
+
+And, as he spoke, he turned quite pale, and then quite white.
+
+"Why, you're ill!" said Tom. But he did not answer.
+
+"You're dead," said Tom, looking at him as he stood on his knee as white
+as a ghost.
+
+"No, I ain't!" answered a little squeaking voice over his head. "This is
+me up here, in my ball-dress; and that's my skin. Ha, ha! you could not
+do such a trick as that!"
+
+And no more Tom could, nor Houdin, nor Robin, nor Frikell, nor all the
+conjurers in the world. For the little rogue had jumped clean out of his
+own skin, and left it standing on Tom's knee, eyes, wings, legs, tail,
+exactly as if it had been alive.
+
+"Ha, ha!" he said, and he jerked and skipped up and down, never stopping
+an instant, just as if he had St. Vitus's dance. "Ain't I a pretty
+fellow now?"
+
+And so he was; for his body was white, and his tail orange, and his eyes
+all the colours of a peacock's tail. And what was the oddest of all, the
+whisks at the end of his tail had grown five times as long as they were
+before.
+
+"Ah!" said he, "now I will see the gay world. My living won't cost me
+much, for I have no mouth, you see, and no inside; so I can never be
+hungry nor have the stomach-ache neither."
+
+No more he had. He had grown as dry and hard and empty as a quill, as
+such silly shallow-hearted fellows deserve to grow.
+
+But, instead of being ashamed of his emptiness, he was quite proud of
+it, as a good many fine gentlemen are, and began flirting and flipping
+up and down, and singing--
+
+          "_My wife shall dance, and I shall sing,
+              So merrily pass the day;
+            For I hold it for quite the wisest thing,
+              To drive dull care away._"
+
+And he danced up and down for three days and three nights, till he grew
+so tired, that he tumbled into the water, and floated down. But what
+became of him Tom never knew, and he himself never minded; for Tom heard
+him singing to the last, as he floated down--
+
+          "_To drive dull care away-ay-ay!_"
+
+And if he did not care, why nobody else cared either.
+
+But one day Tom had a new adventure. He was sitting on a water-lily
+leaf, he and his friend the dragon-fly, watching the gnats dance. The
+dragon-fly had eaten as many as he wanted, and was sitting quite still
+and sleepy, for it was very hot and bright. The gnats (who did not care
+the least for their poor brothers' death) danced a foot over his head
+quite happily, and a large black fly settled within an inch of his nose,
+and began washing his own face and combing his hair with his paws: but
+the dragon-fly never stirred, and kept on chatting to Tom about the
+times when he lived under the water.
+
+Suddenly, Tom heard the strangest noise up the stream; cooing, and
+grunting, and whining, and squeaking, as if you had put into a bag two
+stock-doves, nine mice, three guinea-pigs, and a blind puppy, and left
+them there to settle themselves and make music.
+
+He looked up the water, and there he saw a sight as strange as the
+noise; a great ball rolling over and over down the stream, seeming one
+moment of soft brown fur, and the next of shining glass: and yet it was
+not a ball; for sometimes it broke up and streamed away in pieces, and
+then it joined again; and all the while the noise came out of it louder
+and louder.
+
+Tom asked the dragon-fly what it could be: but, of course, with his
+short sight, he could not even see it, though it was not ten yards away.
+So he took the neatest little header into the water, and started off to
+see for himself; and, when he came near, the ball turned out to be four
+or five beautiful creatures, many times larger than Tom, who were
+swimming about, and rolling, and diving, and twisting, and wrestling,
+and cuddling, and kissing, and biting, and scratching, in the most
+charming fashion that ever was seen. And if you don't believe me, you
+may go to the Zoological Gardens (for I am afraid that you won't see it
+nearer, unless, perhaps, you get up at five in the morning, and go down
+to Cordery's Moor, and watch by the great withy pollard which hangs over
+the backwater, where the otters breed sometimes), and then say, if
+otters at play in the water are not the merriest, lithest, gracefullest
+creatures you ever saw.
+
+But, when the biggest of them saw Tom, she darted out from the rest,
+and cried in the water-language sharply enough, "Quick, children, here
+is something to eat, indeed!" and came at poor Tom, showing such a
+wicked pair of eyes, and such a set of sharp teeth in a grinning mouth,
+that Tom, who had thought her very handsome, said to himself, _Handsome
+is that handsome does_, and slipped in between the water-lily roots as
+fast as he could, and then turned round and made faces at her.
+
+"Come out," said the wicked old otter, "or it will be worse for you."
+
+But Tom looked at her from between two thick roots, and shook them with
+all his might, making horrible faces all the while, just as he used to
+grin through the railings at the old women, when he lived before. It was
+not quite well bred, no doubt; but you know, Tom had not finished his
+education yet.
+
+"Come away, children," said the otter in disgust, "it is not worth
+eating, after all. It is only a nasty eft, which nothing eats, not even
+those vulgar pike in the pond."
+
+"I am not an eft!" said Tom; "efts have tails."
+
+"You are an eft," said the otter, very positively; "I see your two hands
+quite plain, and I know you have a tail."
+
+"I tell you I have not," said Tom. "Look here!" and he turned his pretty
+little self quite round; and sure enough, he had no more tail than you.
+
+The otter might have got out of it by saying that Tom was a frog: but,
+like a great many other people, when she had once said a thing, she
+stood to it, right or wrong; so she answered:
+
+"I say you are an eft, and therefore you are, and not fit food for
+gentlefolk like me and my children. You may stay there till the salmon
+eat you (she knew the salmon would not, but she wanted to frighten poor
+Tom). Ha! ha! they will eat you, and we will eat them"; and the otter
+laughed such a wicked cruel laugh--as you may hear them do sometimes;
+and the first time that you hear it you will probably think it is
+bogies.
+
+"What are salmon?" asked Tom.
+
+"Fish, you eft, great fish, nice fish to eat. They are the lords of the
+fish, and we are lords of the salmon"; and she laughed again. "We hunt
+them up and down the pools, and drive them up into a corner, the silly
+things; they are so proud, and bully the little trout, and the minnows,
+till they see us coming, and then they are so meek all at once; and we
+catch them, but we disdain to eat them all; we just bite out their soft
+throats and suck their sweet juice--Oh, so good!"--(and she licked her
+wicked lips)--"and then throw them away, and go and catch another. They
+are coming soon, children, coming soon; I can smell the rain coming up
+off the sea, and then hurrah for a fresh, and salmon, and plenty of
+eating all day long."
+
+And the otter grew so proud that she turned head over heels twice, and
+then stood upright half out of the water, grinning like a Cheshire cat.
+
+"And where do they come from?" asked Tom, who kept himself very close,
+for he was considerably frightened.
+
+"Out of the sea, eft, the great wide sea, where they might stay and be
+safe if they liked. But out of the sea the silly things come, into the
+great river down below, and we come up to watch for them; and when they
+go down again we go down and follow them. And there we fish for the bass
+and the pollock, and have jolly days along the shore, and toss and roll
+in the breakers, and sleep snug in the warm dry crags. Ah, that is a
+merry life too, children, if it were not for those horrid men."
+
+"What are men?" asked Tom; but somehow he seemed to know before he
+asked.
+
+"Two-legged things, eft: and, now I come to look at you, they are
+actually something like you, if you had not a tail" (she was determined
+that Tom should have a tail), "only a great deal bigger, worse luck for
+us; and they catch the fish with hooks and lines, which get into our
+feet sometimes, and set pots along the rocks to catch lobsters. They
+speared my poor dear husband as he went out to find something for me to
+eat. I was laid up among the crags then, and we were very low in the
+world, for the sea was so rough that no fish would come in shore. But
+they speared him, poor fellow, and I saw them carrying him away upon a
+pole. Ah, he lost his life for your sakes, my children, poor dear
+obedient creature that he was."
+
+And the otter grew so sentimental (for otters can be very sentimental
+when they choose, like a good many people who are both cruel and greedy,
+and no good to anybody at all) that she sailed solemnly away down the
+burn, and Tom saw her no more for that time. And lucky it was for her
+that she did so; for no sooner was she gone, than down the bank came
+seven little rough terrier dogs, snuffing and yapping, and grubbing and
+splashing, in full cry after the otter. Tom hid among the water-lilies
+till they were gone; for he could not guess that they were the
+water-fairies come to help him.
+
+But he could not help thinking of what the otter had said about the
+great river and the broad sea. And, as he thought, he longed to go and
+see them. He could not tell why; but the more he thought, the more he
+grew discontented with the narrow little stream in which he lived, and
+all his companions there; and wanted to get out into the wide wide
+world, and enjoy all the wonderful sights of which he was sure it was
+full.
+
+And once he set off to go down the stream. But the stream was very low;
+and when he came to the shallows he could not keep under water, for
+there was no water left to keep under. So the sun burned his back and
+made him sick; and he went back again and lay quiet in the pool for a
+whole week more.
+
+And then, on the evening of a very hot day, he saw a sight.
+
+He had been very stupid all day, and so had the trout; for they would
+not move an inch to take a fly, though there were thousands on the
+water, but lay dozing at the bottom under the shade of the stones; and
+Tom lay dozing too, and was glad to cuddle their smooth cool sides, for
+the water was quite warm and unpleasant.
+
+But toward evening it grew suddenly dark, and Tom looked up and saw a
+blanket of black clouds lying right across the valley above his head,
+resting on the crags right and left. He felt not quite frightened, but
+very still; for everything was still. There was not a whisper of wind,
+nor a chirp of a bird to be heard; and next a few great drops of rain
+fell plop into the water, and one hit Tom on the nose, and made him pop
+his head down quickly enough.
+
+And then the thunder roared, and the lightning flashed, and leapt across
+Vendale and back again, from cloud to cloud, and cliff to cliff, till
+the very rocks in the stream seemed to shake: and Tom looked up at it
+through the water, and thought it the finest thing he ever saw in his
+life.
+
+But out of the water he dared not put his head; for the rain came down
+by bucketsful, and the hail hammered like shot on the stream, and
+churned it into foam; and soon the stream rose, and rushed down, higher
+and higher, and fouler and fouler, full of beetles, and sticks; and
+straws, and worms, and addle-eggs, and wood-lice, and leeches, and odds
+and ends, and omnium-gatherums, and this, that, and the other, enough to
+fill nine museums.
+
+Tom could hardly stand against the stream, and hid behind a rock. But
+the trout did not; for out they rushed from among the stones, and began
+gobbling the beetles and leeches in the most greedy and quarrelsome way,
+and swimming about with great worms hanging out of their mouths, tugging
+and kicking to get them away from each other.
+
+And now, by the flashes of the lightning, Tom saw a new sight--all the
+bottom of the stream alive with great eels, turning and twisting along,
+all down stream and away. They had been hiding for weeks past in the
+cracks of the rocks, and in burrows in the mud; and Tom had hardly ever
+seen them, except now and then at night: but now they were all out, and
+went hurrying past him so fiercely and wildly that he was quite
+frightened. And as they hurried past he could hear them say to each
+other, "We must run, we must run. What a jolly thunderstorm! Down to the
+sea, down to the sea!"
+
+And then the otter came by with all her brood, twining and sweeping
+along as fast as the eels themselves; and she spied Tom as she came by,
+and said:
+
+"Now is your time, eft, if you want to see the world. Come along,
+children, never mind those nasty eels: we shall breakfast on salmon
+to-morrow. Down to the sea, down to the sea!"
+
+Then came a flash brighter than all the rest, and by the light of it--in
+the thousandth part of a second they were gone again--but he had seen
+them, he was certain of it--Three beautiful little white girls, with
+their arms twined round each other's necks, floating down the torrent,
+as they sang, "Down to the sea, down to the sea!"
+
+[Illustration: "From which great trout rushed out on Tom."--_P. 88._]
+
+"Oh stay! Wait for me!" cried Tom; but they were gone: yet he could hear
+their voices clear and sweet through the roar of thunder and water and
+wind, singing as they died away, "Down to the sea!"
+
+"Down to the sea?" said Tom; "everything is going to the sea, and I will
+go too. Good-bye, trout." But the trout were so busy gobbling worms that
+they never turned to answer him; so that Tom was spared the pain of
+bidding them farewell.
+
+And now, down the rushing stream, guided by the bright flashes of the
+storm; past tall birch-fringed rocks, which shone out one moment as
+clear as day, and the next were dark as night; past dark hovers under
+swirling banks, from which great trout rushed out on Tom, thinking him
+to be good to eat, and turned back sulkily, for the fairies sent them
+home again with a tremendous scolding, for daring to meddle with a
+water-baby; on through narrow strids and roaring cataracts, where Tom
+was deafened and blinded for a moment by the rushing waters; along deep
+reaches, where the white water-lilies tossed and flapped beneath the
+wind and hail; past sleeping villages; under dark bridge-arches, and
+away and away to the sea. And Tom could not stop, and did not care to
+stop; he would see the great world below, and the salmon, and the
+breakers, and the wide wide sea.
+
+And when the daylight came, Tom found himself out in the salmon river.
+
+And what sort of a river was it? Was it like an Irish stream, winding
+through the brown bogs, where the wild ducks squatter up from among the
+white water-lilies, and the curlews flit to and fro, crying
+"Tullie-wheep, mind your sheep"; and Dennis tells you strange stories of
+the Peishtamore, the great bogy-snake which lies in the black peat
+pools, among the old pine-stems, and puts his head out at night to snap
+at the cattle as they come down to drink?--But you must not believe all
+that Dennis tells you, mind; for if you ask him:
+
+"Is there a salmon here, do you think, Dennis?"
+
+"Is it salmon, thin, your honour manes? Salmon? Cartloads it is of thim,
+thin, an' ridgmens, shouldthering ache out of water, av' ye'd but the
+luck to see thim."
+
+Then you fish the pool all over, and never get a rise.
+
+"But there can't be a salmon here, Dennis! and, if you'll but think, if
+one had come up last tide, he'd be gone to the higher pools by now."
+
+"Shure thin, and your honour's the thrue fisherman, and understands it
+all like a book. Why, ye spake as if ye'd known the wather a thousand
+years! As I said, how could there be a fish here at all, just now?"
+
+"But you said just now they were shouldering each other out of water?"
+
+And then Dennis will look up at you with his handsome, sly, soft,
+sleepy, good-natured, untrustable, Irish grey eye, and answer with the
+prettiest smile:
+
+"Shure, and didn't I think your honour would like a pleasant answer?"
+
+So you must not trust Dennis, because he is in the habit of giving
+pleasant answers: but, instead of being angry with him, you must
+remember that he is a poor Paddy, and knows no better; so you must just
+burst out laughing; and then he will burst out laughing too, and slave
+for you, and trot about after you, and show you good sport if he
+can--for he is an affectionate fellow, and as fond of sport as you
+are--and if he can't, tell you fibs instead, a hundred an hour; and
+wonder all the while why poor ould Ireland does not prosper like England
+and Scotland, and some other places, where folk have taken up a
+ridiculous fancy that honesty is the best policy.
+
+Or was it like a Welsh salmon river, which is remarkable chiefly (at
+least, till this last year) for containing no salmon, as they have been
+all poached out by the enlightened peasantry, to prevent the _Cythrawl
+Sassenach_ (which means you, my little dear, your kith and kin, and
+signifies much the same as the Chinese _Fan Quei_) from coming bothering
+into Wales, with good tackle, and ready money, and civilisation, and
+common honesty, and other like things of which the Cymry stand in no
+need whatsoever?
+
+Or was it such a salmon stream as I trust you will see among the
+Hampshire water-meadows before your hairs are grey, under the wise new
+fishing-laws?--when Winchester apprentices shall covenant, as they did
+three hundred years ago, not to be made to eat salmon more than three
+days a week; and fresh-run fish shall be as plentiful under Salisbury
+spire as they are in Holly-hole at Christchurch; in the good time
+coming, when folks shall see that, of all Heaven's gifts of food, the
+one to be protected most carefully is that worthy gentleman salmon, who
+is generous enough to go down to the sea weighing five ounces, and to
+come back next year weighing five pounds, without having cost the soil
+or the state one farthing?
+
+Or was it like a Scotch stream, such as Arthur Clough drew in his
+"Bothie":--
+
+                _"Where over a ledge of granite
+  Into a granite bason the amber torrent descended. . . .
+  Beautiful there for the colour derived from green rocks under;
+  Beautiful most of all, where beads of foam uprising
+  Mingle their clouds of white with the delicate hue of the
+      stillness. . . .
+  Cliff over cliff for its sides, with rowan and pendant birch
+      boughs." . . ._
+
+Ah, my little man, when you are a big man, and fish such a stream as
+that, you will hardly care, I think, whether she be roaring down in full
+spate, like coffee covered with scald cream, while the fish are swirling
+at your fly as an oar-blade swirls in a boat-race, or flashing up the
+cataract like silver arrows, out of the fiercest of the foam; or
+whether the fall be dwindled to a single thread, and the shingle below
+be as white and dusty as a turnpike road, while the salmon huddle
+together in one dark cloud in the clear amber pool, sleeping away their
+time till the rain creeps back again off the sea. You will not care
+much, if you have eyes and brains; for you will lay down your rod
+contentedly, and drink in at your eyes the beauty of that glorious
+place; and listen to the water-ouzel piping on the stones, and watch the
+yellow roes come down to drink and look up at you with their great soft
+trustful eyes, as much as to say, "You could not have the heart to shoot
+at us?" And then, if you have sense, you will turn and talk to the great
+giant of a gilly who lies basking on the stone beside you. He will tell
+you no fibs, my little man; for he is a Scotchman, and fears God, and
+not the priest; and, as you talk with him, you will be surprised more
+and more at his knowledge, his sense, his humour, his courtesy; and you
+will find out--unless you have found it out before--that a man may learn
+from his Bible to be a more thorough gentleman than if he had been
+brought up in all the drawing-rooms in London.
+
+No. It was none of these, the salmon stream at Harthover. It was such a
+stream as you see in dear old Bewick; Bewick, who was born and bred upon
+them. A full hundred yards broad it was, sliding on from broad pool to
+broad shallow, and broad shallow to broad pool, over great fields of
+shingle, under oak and ash coverts, past low cliffs of sandstone, past
+green meadows, and fair parks, and a great house of grey stone, and
+brown moors above, and here and there against the sky the smoking
+chimney of a colliery. You must look at Bewick to see just what it was
+like, for he has drawn it a hundred times with the care and the love of
+a true north countryman; and, even if you do not care about the salmon
+river, you ought, like all good boys, to know your Bewick.
+
+At least, so old Sir John used to say, and very sensibly he put it too,
+as he was wont to do:
+
+"If they want to describe a finished young gentleman in France, I hear,
+they say of him, '_Il sait son Rabelais._' But if I want to describe one
+in England, I say, '_He knows his Bewick._' And I think that is the
+higher compliment."
+
+But Tom thought nothing about what the river was like. All his fancy
+was, to get down to the wide wide sea.
+
+And after a while he came to a place where the river spread out into
+broad still shallow reaches, so wide that little Tom, as he put his head
+out of the water, could hardly see across.
+
+And there he stopped. He got a little frightened. "This must be the
+sea," he thought. "What a wide place it is! If I go on into it I shall
+surely lose my way, or some strange thing will bite me. I will stop here
+and look out for the otter, or the eels, or some one to tell me where I
+shall go."
+
+So he went back a little way, and crept into a crack of the rock, just
+where the river opened out into the wide shallows, and watched for some
+one to tell him his way: but the otter and the eels were gone on miles
+and miles down the stream.
+
+There he waited, and slept too, for he was quite tired with his night's
+journey; and, when he woke, the stream was clearing to a beautiful amber
+hue, though it was still very high. And after a while he saw a sight
+which made him jump up; for he knew in a moment it was one of the things
+which he had come to look for.
+
+Such a fish! ten times as big as the biggest trout, and a hundred times
+as big as Tom, sculling up the stream past him, as easily as Tom had
+sculled down.
+
+Such a fish! shining silver from head to tail, and here and there a
+crimson dot; with a grand hooked nose and grand curling lip, and a grand
+bright eye, looking round him as proudly as a king, and surveying the
+water right and left as if all belonged to him. Surely he must be the
+salmon, the king of all the fish.
+
+Tom was so frightened that he longed to creep into a hole; but he need
+not have been; for salmon are all true gentlemen, and, like true
+gentlemen, they look noble and proud enough, and yet, like true
+gentlemen, they never harm or quarrel with any one, but go about their
+own business, and leave rude fellows to themselves.
+
+The salmon looked at him full in the face, and then went on without
+minding him, with a swish or two of his tail which made the stream boil
+again. And in a few minutes came another, and then four or five, and so
+on; and all passed Tom, rushing and plunging up the cataract with strong
+strokes of their silver tails, now and then leaping clean out of water
+and up over a rock, shining gloriously for a moment in the bright sun;
+while Tom was so delighted that he could have watched them all day long.
+
+And at last one came up bigger than all the rest; but he came slowly,
+and stopped, and looked back, and seemed very anxious and busy. And Tom
+saw that he was helping another salmon, an especially handsome one, who
+had not a single spot upon it, but was clothed in pure silver from nose
+to tail.
+
+"My dear," said the great fish to his companion, "you really look
+dreadfully tired, and you must not over-exert yourself at first. Do rest
+yourself behind this rock"; and he shoved her gently with his nose, to
+the rock where Tom sat.
+
+You must know that this was the salmon's wife. For salmon, like other
+true gentlemen, always choose their lady, and love her, and are true to
+her, and take care of her and work for her, and fight for her, as every
+true gentleman ought; and are not like vulgar chub and roach and pike,
+who have no high feelings, and take no care of their wives.
+
+Then he saw Tom, and looked at him very fiercely one moment, as if he
+was going to bite him.
+
+"What do you want here?" he said, very fiercely.
+
+"Oh, don't hurt me!" cried Tom. "I only want to look at you; you are so
+handsome."
+
+"Ah?" said the salmon, very stately but very civilly. "I really beg your
+pardon; I see what you are, my little dear. I have met one or two
+creatures like you before, and found them very agreeable and
+well-behaved. Indeed, one of them showed me a great kindness lately,
+which I hope to be able to repay. I hope we shall not be in your way
+here. As soon as this lady is rested, we shall proceed on our journey."
+
+What a well-bred old salmon he was!
+
+"So you have seen things like me before?" asked Tom.
+
+"Several times, my dear. Indeed, it was only last night that one at the
+river's mouth came and warned me and my wife of some new stake-nets
+which had got into the stream, I cannot tell how, since last winter, and
+showed us the way round them, in the most charmingly obliging way."
+
+"So there are babies in the sea?" cried Tom, and clapped his little
+hands. "Then I shall have some one to play with there? How delightful!"
+
+"Were there no babies up this stream?" asked the lady salmon.
+
+"No! and I grew so lonely. I thought I saw three last night; but they
+were gone in an instant, down to the sea. So I went too; for I had
+nothing to play with but caddises and dragon-flies and trout."
+
+"Ugh!" cried the lady, "what low company!"
+
+"My dear, if he has been in low company, he has certainly not learnt
+their low manners," said the salmon.
+
+"No, indeed, poor little dear: but how sad for him to live among such
+people as caddises, who have actually six legs, the nasty things; and
+dragon-flies, too! why they are not even good to eat; for I tried them
+once, and they are all hard and empty; and, as for trout, every one
+knows what they are." Whereon she curled up her lip, and looked
+dreadfully scornful, while her husband curled up his too, till he looked
+as proud as Alcibiades.
+
+"Why do you dislike the trout so?" asked Tom.
+
+"My dear, we do not even mention them, if we can help it; for I am sorry
+to say they are relations of ours who do us no credit. A great many
+years ago they were just like us: but they were so lazy, and cowardly,
+and greedy, that instead of going down to the sea every year to see the
+world and grow strong and fat, they chose to stay and poke about in the
+little streams and eat worms and grubs; and they are very properly
+punished for it; for they have grown ugly and brown and spotted and
+small; and are actually so degraded in their tastes, that they will eat
+our children."
+
+"And then they pretend to scrape acquaintance with us again," said the
+lady. "Why, I have actually known one of them propose to a lady salmon,
+the little impudent little creature."
+
+"I should hope," said the gentleman, "that there are very few ladies of
+our race who would degrade themselves by listening to such a creature
+for an instant. If I saw such a thing happen, I should consider it my
+duty to put them both to death upon the spot." So the old salmon said,
+like an old blue-blooded hidalgo of Spain; and what is more, he would
+have done it too. For you must know, no enemies are so bitter against
+each other as those who are of the same race; and a salmon looks on a
+trout, as some great folks look on some little folks, as something just
+too much like himself to be tolerated.
+
+          "Sweet is the lore which Nature brings;
+           Our meddling intellect
+           Mis-shapes the beauteous forms of things
+           We murder to dissect.
+
+          "Enough of science and of art:
+           Close up these barren leaves;
+           Come forth, and bring with you a heart
+           That watches and receives."
+
+                                    WORDSWORTH.
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IV
+
+
+[Illustration: "He watched the moonlight on the rippling river." _P.
+101._]
+
+SO the salmon went up, after Tom had warned them of the wicked old
+otter; and Tom went down, but slowly and cautiously, coasting along the
+shore. He was many days about it, for it was many miles down to the sea;
+and perhaps he would never have found his way, if the fairies had not
+guided him, without his seeing their fair faces, or feeling their gentle
+hands.
+
+And, as he went, he had a very strange adventure. It was a clear still
+September night, and the moon shone so brightly down through the water,
+that he could not sleep, though he shut his eyes as tight as possible.
+So at last he came up to the top, and sat upon a little point of rock,
+and looked up at the broad yellow moon, and wondered what she was, and
+thought that she looked at him. And he watched the moonlight on the
+rippling river, and the black heads of the firs, and the silver-frosted
+lawns, and listened to the owl's hoot, and the snipe's bleat, and the
+fox's bark, and the otter's laugh; and smelt the soft perfume of the
+birches, and the wafts of heather honey off the grouse moor far above;
+and felt very happy, though he could not well tell why. You, of course,
+would have been very cold sitting there on a September night, without
+the least bit of clothes on your wet back; but Tom was a water-baby, and
+therefore felt cold no more than a fish.
+
+Suddenly, he saw a beautiful sight. A bright red light moved along the
+river-side, and threw down into the water a long tap-root of flame. Tom,
+curious little rogue that he was, must needs go and see what it was; so
+he swam to the shore, and met the light as it stopped over a shallow run
+at the edge of a low rock.
+
+And there, underneath the light, lay five or six great salmon, looking
+up at the flame with their great goggle eyes, and wagging their tails,
+as if they were very much pleased at it.
+
+Tom came to the top, to look at this wonderful light nearer, and made a
+splash.
+
+And he heard a voice say:
+
+"There was a fish rose."
+
+He did not know what the words meant: but he seemed to know the sound of
+them, and to know the voice which spoke them; and he saw on the bank
+three great two-legged creatures, one of whom held the light, flaring
+and sputtering, and another a long pole. And he knew that they were men,
+and was frightened, and crept into a hole in the rock, from which he
+could see what went on.
+
+The man with the torch bent down over the water, and looked earnestly
+in; and then he said:
+
+"Tak' that muckle fellow, lad; he's ower fifteen punds; and haud your
+hand steady."
+
+Tom felt that there was some danger coming, and longed to warn the
+foolish salmon, who kept staring up at the light as if he was bewitched.
+But before he could make up his mind, down came the pole through the
+water; there was a fearful splash and struggle, and Tom saw that the
+poor salmon was speared right through, and was lifted out of the water.
+
+And then, from behind, there sprang on these three men three other men;
+and there were shouts, and blows, and words which Tom recollected to
+have heard before; and he shuddered and turned sick at them now, for he
+felt somehow that they were strange, and ugly, and wrong, and horrible.
+And it all began to come back to him. They were men; and they were
+fighting; savage, desperate, up-and-down fighting, such as Tom had seen
+too many times before.
+
+And he stopped his little ears, and longed to swim away; and was very
+glad that he was a water-baby, and had nothing to do any more with
+horrid dirty men, with foul clothes on their backs, and foul words on
+their lips; but he dared not stir out of his hole: while the rock shook
+over his head with the trampling and struggling of the keepers and the
+poachers.
+
+All of a sudden there was a tremendous splash, and a frightful flash,
+and a hissing, and all was still.
+
+For into the water, close to Tom, fell one of the men; he who held the
+light in his hand. Into the swift river he sank, and rolled over and
+over in the current. Tom heard the men above run along, seemingly
+looking for him; but he drifted down into the deep hole below, and there
+lay quite still, and they could not find him.
+
+Tom waited a long time, till all was quiet; and then he peeped out, and
+saw the man lying. At last he screwed up his courage and swam down to
+him. "Perhaps," he thought, "the water has made him fall asleep, as it
+did me."
+
+Then he went nearer. He grew more and more curious, he could not tell
+why. He must go and look at him. He would go very quietly, of course; so
+he swam round and round him, closer and closer; and, as he did not stir,
+at last he came quite close and looked him in the face.
+
+The moon shone so bright that Tom could see every feature; and, as he
+saw, he recollected, bit by bit, it was his old master, Grimes.
+
+Tom turned tail, and swam away as fast as he could.
+
+"Oh dear me!" he thought, "now he will turn into a water-baby. What a
+nasty troublesome one he will be! And perhaps he will find me out, and
+beat me again."
+
+So he went up the river again a little way, and lay there the rest of
+the night under an alder root; but, when morning came, he longed to go
+down again to the big pool, and see whether Mr. Grimes had turned into a
+water-baby yet.
+
+So he went very carefully, peeping round all the rocks, and hiding under
+all the roots. Mr. Grimes lay there still; he had not turned into a
+water-baby. In the afternoon Tom went back again. He could not rest
+till he had found out what had become of Mr. Grimes. But this time Mr.
+Grimes was gone; and Tom made up his mind that he was turned into a
+water-baby.
+
+He might have made himself easy, poor little man; Mr. Grimes did not
+turn into a water-baby, or anything like one at all. But he did not make
+himself easy; and a long time he was fearful lest he should meet Grimes
+suddenly in some deep pool. He could not know that the fairies had
+carried him away, and put him, where they put everything which falls
+into the water, exactly where it ought to be. But, do you know, what had
+happened to Mr. Grimes had such an effect on him that he never poached
+salmon any more. And it is quite certain that, when a man becomes a
+confirmed poacher, the only way to cure him is to put him under water
+for twenty-four hours, like Grimes. So when you grow to be a big man, do
+you behave as all honest fellows should; and never touch a fish or a
+head of game which belongs to another man without his express leave; and
+then people will call you a gentleman, and treat you like one; and
+perhaps give you good sport: instead of hitting you into the river, or
+calling you a poaching snob.
+
+Then Tom went on down, for he was afraid of staying near Grimes: and as
+he went, all the vale looked sad. The red and yellow leaves showered
+down into the river; the flies and beetles were all dead and gone; the
+chill autumn fog lay low upon the hills, and sometimes spread itself so
+thickly on the river that he could not see his way. But he felt his way
+instead, following the flow of the stream, day after day, past great
+bridges, past boats and barges, past the great town, with its wharfs,
+and mills, and tall smoking chimneys, and ships which rode at anchor in
+the stream; and now and then he ran against their hawsers, and wondered
+what they were, and peeped out, and saw the sailors lounging on board
+smoking their pipes; and ducked under again, for he was terribly afraid
+of being caught by man and turned into a chimney-sweep once more. He did
+not know that the fairies were close to him always, shutting the
+sailors' eyes lest they should see him, and turning him aside from
+millraces, and sewer-mouths, and all foul and dangerous things. Poor
+little fellow, it was a dreary journey for him; and more than once he
+longed to be back in Vendale, playing with the trout in the bright
+summer sun. But it could not be. What has been once can never come over
+again. And people can be little babies, even water-babies, only once in
+their lives.
+
+Besides, people who make up their minds to go and see the world, as Tom
+did, must needs find it a weary journey. Lucky for them if they do not
+lose heart and stop half-way, instead of going on bravely to the end as
+Tom did. For then they will remain neither boys nor men, neither fish,
+flesh, nor good red-herring: having learnt a great deal too much, and
+yet not enough; and sown their wild oats, without having the advantage
+of reaping them.
+
+But Tom was always a brave, determined, little English bull-dog, who
+never knew when he was beaten; and on and on he held, till he saw a
+long way off the red buoy through the fog. And then he found to his
+surprise, the stream turned round, and running up inland.
+
+It was the tide, of course: but Tom knew nothing of the tide. He only
+knew that in a minute more the water, which had been fresh, turned salt
+all round him. And then there came a change over him. He felt as strong,
+and light, and fresh, as if his veins had run champagne; and gave, he
+did not know why, three skips out of the water, a yard high, and head
+over heels, just as the salmon do when they first touch the noble rich
+salt water, which, as some wise men tell us, is the mother of all living
+things.
+
+He did not care now for the tide being against him. The red buoy was in
+sight, dancing in the open sea; and to the buoy he would go, and to it
+he went. He passed great shoals of bass and mullet, leaping and rushing
+in after the shrimps, but he never heeded them, or they him; and once he
+passed a great black shining seal, who was coming in after the mullet.
+The seal put his head and shoulders out of water, and stared at him,
+looking exactly like a fat old greasy negro with a grey pate. And Tom,
+instead of being frightened, said, "How d'ye do, sir; what a beautiful
+place the sea is!" And the old seal, instead of trying to bite him,
+looked at him with his soft sleepy winking eyes, and said, "Good tide to
+you, my little man; are you looking for your brothers and sisters? I
+passed them all at play outside."
+
+"Oh, then," said Tom, "I shall have playfellows at last," and he swam on
+to the buoy, and got upon it (for he was quite out of breath) and sat
+there, and looked round for water-babies: but there were none to be
+seen.
+
+The sea-breeze came in freshly with the tide and blew the fog away; and
+the little waves danced for joy around the buoy, and the old buoy danced
+with them. The shadows of the clouds ran races over the bright blue bay,
+and yet never caught each other up; and the breakers plunged merrily
+upon the wide white sands, and jumped up over the rocks, to see what the
+green fields inside were like, and tumbled down and broke themselves all
+to pieces, and never minded it a bit, but mended themselves and jumped
+up again. And the terns hovered over Tom like huge white dragon-flies
+with black heads, and the gulls laughed like girls at play, and the
+sea-pies, with their red bills and legs, flew to and fro from shore to
+shore, and whistled sweet and wild. And Tom looked and looked, and
+listened; and he would have been very happy, if he could only have seen
+the water-babies. Then when the tide turned, he left the buoy, and swam
+round and round in search of them: but in vain. Sometimes he thought he
+heard them laughing: but it was only the laughter of the ripples. And
+sometimes he thought he saw them at the bottom: but it was only white
+and pink shells. And once he was sure he had found one, for he saw two
+bright eyes peeping out of the sand. So he dived down, and began
+scraping the sand away, and cried, "Don't hide; I do want some one to
+play with so much!" And out jumped a great turbot with his ugly eyes and
+mouth all awry, and flopped away along the bottom, knocking poor Tom
+over. And he sat down at the bottom of the sea, and cried salt tears
+from sheer disappointment.
+
+To have come all this way, and faced so many dangers, and yet to find no
+water-babies! How hard! Well, it did seem hard: but people, even little
+babies, cannot have all they want without waiting for it, and working
+for it too, my little man, as you will find out some day.
+
+And Tom sat upon the buoy long days, long weeks, looking out to sea, and
+wondering when the water-babies would come back; and yet they never
+came.
+
+Then he began to ask all the strange things which came in out of the sea
+if they had seen any; and some said "Yes," and some said nothing at all.
+
+He asked the bass and the pollock; but they were so greedy after the
+shrimps that they did not care to answer him a word.
+
+Then there came in a whole fleet of purple sea-snails, floating along,
+each on a sponge full of foam, and Tom said, "Where do you come from,
+you pretty creatures? and have you seen the water-babies?"
+
+And the sea-snails answered, "Whence we come we know not; and whither we
+are going, who can tell? We float out our life in the mid-ocean, with
+the warm sunshine above our heads, and the warm gulf-stream below; and
+that is enough for us. Yes; perhaps we have seen the water-babies. We
+have seen many strange things as we sailed along." And they floated
+away, the happy stupid things, and all went ashore upon the sands.
+
+Then there came in a great lazy sunfish, as big as a fat pig cut in
+half; and he seemed to have been cut in half too, and squeezed in a
+clothes-press till he was flat; but to all his big body and big fins he
+had only a little rabbit's mouth, no bigger than Tom's; and, when Tom
+questioned him, he answered in a little squeaky feeble voice:
+
+"I'm sure I don't know; I've lost my way. I meant to go to the
+Chesapeake, and I'm afraid I've got wrong somehow. Dear me! it was all
+by following that pleasant warm water. I'm sure I've lost my way."
+
+And, when Tom asked him again, he could only answer, "I've lost my way.
+Don't talk to me; I want to think."
+
+But, like a good many other people, the more he tried to think the less
+he could think; and Tom saw him blundering about all day, till the
+coastguardsmen saw his big fin above the water, and rowed out, and
+struck a boat-hook into him, and took him away. They took him up to the
+town and showed him for a penny a head, and made a good day's work of
+it. But of course Tom did not know that.
+
+Then there came by a shoal of porpoises, rolling as they went--papas,
+and mammas, and little children--and all quite smooth and shiny,
+because the fairies French-polish them every morning; and they sighed
+so softly as they came by, that Tom took courage to speak to them: but
+all they answered was, "Hush, hush, hush"; for that was all they had
+learnt to say.
+
+And then there came a shoal of basking sharks, some of them as long as a
+boat, and Tom was frightened at them. But they were very lazy
+good-natured fellows, not greedy tyrants, like white sharks and blue
+sharks and ground sharks and hammer-heads, who eat men, or saw-fish and
+threshers and ice-sharks, who hunt the poor old whales. They came and
+rubbed their great sides against the buoy, and lay basking in the sun
+with their back-fins out of water; and winked at Tom: but he never could
+get them to speak. They had eaten so many herrings that they were quite
+stupid; and Tom was glad when a collier brig came by and frightened them
+all away; for they did smell most horribly, certainly, and he had to
+hold his nose tight as long as they were there.
+
+And then there came by a beautiful creature, like a ribbon of pure
+silver with a sharp head and very long teeth; but it seemed very sick
+and sad. Sometimes it rolled helpless on its side; and then it dashed
+away glittering like white fire; and then it lay sick again and
+motionless.
+
+"Where do you come from?" asked Tom. "And why are _you_ so sick and
+sad?"
+
+"I come from the warm Carolinas, and the sandbanks fringed with pines;
+where the great owl-rays leap and flap, like giant bats, upon the tide.
+But I wandered north and north, upon the treacherous warm gulf-stream,
+till I met with the cold icebergs, afloat in the mid ocean. So I got
+tangled among the icebergs, and chilled with their frozen breath. But
+the water-babies helped me from among them, and set me free again. And
+now I am mending every day; but I am very sick and sad; and perhaps I
+shall never get home again to play with the owl-rays any more."
+
+"Oh!" cried Tom. "And you have seen water-babies? Have you seen any near
+here?"
+
+"Yes; they helped me again last night, or I should have been eaten by a
+great black porpoise."
+
+How vexatious! The water-babies close to him, and yet he could not find
+one.
+
+And then he left the buoy, and used to go along the sands and round the
+rocks, and come out in the night--like the forsaken Merman in Mr.
+Arnold's beautiful, beautiful poem, which you must learn by heart some
+day--and sit upon a point of rock, among the shining seaweeds, in the
+low October tides, and cry and call for the water-babies; but he never
+heard a voice call in return. And at last, with his fretting and crying,
+he grew quite lean and thin.
+
+But one day among the rocks he found a playfellow. It was not a
+water-baby, alas! but it was a lobster; and a very distinguished lobster
+he was; for he had live barnacles on his claws, which is a great mark of
+distinction in lobsterdom, and no more to be bought for money than a
+good conscience or the Victoria Cross.
+
+[Illustration: "Tom had never seen a lobster before."--_P. 113._]
+
+Tom had never seen a lobster before; and he was mightily taken with this
+one; for he thought him the most curious, odd, ridiculous creature he
+had ever seen; and there he was not far wrong; for all the ingenious
+men, and all the scientific men, and all the fanciful men, in the world,
+with all the old German bogy-painters into the bargain, could never
+invent, if all their wits were boiled into one, anything so curious, and
+so ridiculous, as a lobster.
+
+He had one claw knobbed and the other jagged; and Tom delighted in
+watching him hold on to the seaweed with his knobbed claw, while he cut
+up salads with his jagged one, and then put them into his mouth, after
+smelling at them, like a monkey. And always the little barnacles threw
+out their casting-nets and swept the water, and came in for their share
+of whatever there was for dinner.
+
+But Tom was most astonished to see how he fired himself off--snap! like
+the leap-frogs which you make out of a goose's breast-bone. Certainly he
+took the most wonderful shots, and backwards, too. For, if he wanted to
+go into a narrow crack ten yards off, what do you think he did? If he
+had gone in head foremost, of course he could not have turned round. So
+he used to turn his tail to it, and lay his long horns, which carry his
+sixth sense in their tips (and nobody knows what that sixth sense is),
+straight down his back to guide him, and twist his eyes back till they
+almost came out of their sockets, and then made ready, present, fire,
+snap!--and away he went, pop into the hole; and peeped out and twiddled
+his whiskers, as much as to say, "You couldn't do that."
+
+Tom asked him about water-babies. "Yes," he said. He had seen them
+often. But he did not think much of them. They were meddlesome little
+creatures, that went about helping fish and shells which got into
+scrapes. Well, for his part, he should be ashamed to be helped by little
+soft creatures that had not even a shell on their backs. He had lived
+quite long enough in the world to take care of himself.
+
+He was a conceited fellow, the old lobster, and not very civil to Tom;
+and you will hear how he had to alter his mind before he was done, as
+conceited people generally have. But he was so funny, and Tom so lonely,
+that he could not quarrel with him; and they used to sit in holes in the
+rocks, and chat for hours.
+
+And about this time there happened to Tom a very strange and important
+adventure--so important, indeed, that he was very near never finding the
+water-babies at all; and I am sure you would have been sorry for that.
+
+I hope that you have not forgotten the little white lady all this while.
+At least, here she comes, looking like a clean white good little
+darling, as she always was, and always will be. For it befell in the
+pleasant short December days, when the wind always blows from the
+south-west, till Old Father Christmas comes and spreads the great white
+table-cloth, ready for little boys and girls to give the birds their
+Christmas dinner of crumbs--it befell (to go on) in the pleasant
+December days, that Sir John was so busy hunting that nobody at home
+could get a word out of him. Four days a week he hunted, and very good
+sport he had; and the other two he went to the bench and the board of
+guardians, and very good justice he did; and, when he got home in time,
+he dined at five; for he hated this absurd new fashion of dining at
+eight in the hunting season, which forces a man to make interest with
+the footman for cold beef and beer as soon as he comes in, and so spoil
+his appetite, and then sleep in an arm-chair in his bedroom, all stiff
+and tired, for two or three hours before he can get his dinner like a
+gentleman. And do you be like Sir John, my dear little man, when you are
+your own master; and, if you want either to read hard or ride hard,
+stick to the good old Cambridge hours of breakfast at eight and dinner
+at five; by which you may get two days' work out of one. But, of course,
+if you find a fox at three in the afternoon and run him till dark, and
+leave off twenty miles from home, why you must wait for your dinner till
+you can get it, as better men than you have done. Only see that, if you
+go hungry, your horse does not; but give him his warm gruel and beer,
+and take him gently home, remembering that good horses don't grow on the
+hedge like blackberries.
+
+It befell (to go on a second time) that Sir John, hunting all day, and
+dining at five, fell asleep every evening, and snored so terribly that
+all the windows in Harthover shook, and the soot fell down the
+chimneys. Whereon My Lady, being no more able to get conversation out of
+him than a song out of a dead nightingale, determined to go off and
+leave him, and the doctor, and Captain Swinger the agent, to snore in
+concert every evening to their hearts' content. So she started for the
+seaside with all the children, in order to put herself and them into
+condition by mild applications of iodine. She might as well have stayed
+at home and used Parry's liquid horse-blister, for there was plenty of
+it in the stables; and then she would have saved her money, and saved
+the chance, also, of making all the children ill instead of well (as
+hundreds are made), by taking them to some nasty smelling undrained
+lodging, and then wondering how they caught scarlatina and diphtheria:
+but people won't be wise enough to understand that till they are dead of
+bad smells, and then it will be too late; besides you see, Sir John did
+certainly snore very loud.
+
+But where she went to nobody must know, for fear young ladies should
+begin to fancy that there are water-babies there! and so hunt and howk
+after them (besides raising the price of lodgings), and keep them in
+aquariums, as the ladies at Pompeii (as you may see by the paintings)
+used to keep Cupids in cages. But nobody ever heard that they starved
+the Cupids, or let them die of dirt and neglect, as English young ladies
+do by the poor sea-beasts. So nobody must know where My Lady went.
+Letting water-babies die is as bad as taking singing birds' eggs; for,
+though there are thousands, ay, millions, of both of them in the world,
+yet there is not one too many.
+
+Now it befell that, on the very shore, and over the very rocks, where
+Tom was sitting with his friend the lobster, there walked one day the
+little white lady, Ellie herself, and with her a very wise man
+indeed--Professor Ptthmllnsprts.
+
+His mother was a Dutchwoman, and therefore he was born at Curacao (of
+course you have learnt your geography, and therefore know why); and his
+father a Pole, and therefore he was brought up at Petropaulowski (of
+course you have learnt your modern politics, and therefore know why):
+but for all that he was as thorough an Englishman as ever coveted his
+neighbour's goods. And his name, as I said, was Professor Ptthmllnsprts,
+which is a very ancient and noble Polish name.
+
+He was, as I said, a very great naturalist, and chief professor of
+_Necrobioneopalaeonthydrochthonanthropopithekology_ in the new university
+which the king of the Cannibal Islands had founded; and, being a member
+of the Acclimatisation Society, he had come here to collect all the
+nasty things which he could find on the coast of England, and turn them
+loose round the Cannibal Islands, because they had not nasty things
+enough there to eat what they left.
+
+But he was a very worthy kind good-natured little old gentleman; and
+very fond of children (for he was not the least a cannibal himself); and
+very good to all the world as long as it was good to him. Only one
+fault he had, which cock-robins have likewise, as you may see if you
+look out of the nursery window--that, when any one else found a curious
+worm, he would hop round them, and peck them, and set up his tail, and
+bristle up his feathers, just as a cock-robin would; and declare that he
+found the worm first; and that it was his worm; and, if not, that then
+it was not a worm at all.
+
+He had met Sir John at Scarborough, or Fleetwood, or somewhere or other
+(if you don't care where, nobody else does), and had made acquaintance
+with him, and become very fond of his children. Now, Sir John knew
+nothing about sea-cockyolybirds, and cared less, provided the fishmonger
+sent him good fish for dinner; and My Lady knew as little: but she
+thought it proper that the children should know something. For in the
+stupid old times, you must understand, children were taught to know one
+thing, and to know it well; but in these enlightened new times they are
+taught to know a little about everything, and to know it all ill; which
+is a great deal pleasanter and easier, and therefore quite right.
+
+So Ellie and he were walking on the rocks, and he was showing her about
+one in ten thousand of all the beautiful and curious things which are to
+be seen there. But little Ellie was not satisfied with them at all. She
+liked much better to play with live children, or even with dolls, which
+she could pretend were alive; and at last she said honestly, "I don't
+care about all these things, because they can't play with me, or talk
+to me. If there were little children now in the water, as there used to
+be, and I could see them, I should like that."
+
+"Children in the water, you strange little duck?" said the professor.
+
+"Yes," said Ellie. "I know there used to be children in the water, and
+mermaids too, and mermen. I saw them all in a picture at home, of a
+beautiful lady sailing in a car drawn by dolphins, and babies flying
+round her, and one sitting in her lap; and the mermaids swimming and
+playing, and the mermen trumpeting on conch-shells; and it is called
+'The Triumph of Galatea'; and there is a burning mountain in the picture
+behind. It hangs on the great staircase, and I have looked at it ever
+since I was a baby, and dreamt about it a hundred times; and it is so
+beautiful, that it must be true."
+
+But the professor had not the least notion of allowing that things were
+true, merely because people thought them beautiful. For at that rate, he
+said, the Baltas would be quite right in thinking it a fine thing to eat
+their grandpapas, because they thought it an ugly thing to put them
+underground. The professor, indeed, went further, and held that no man
+was forced to believe anything to be true, but what he could see, hear,
+taste, or handle.
+
+He held very strange theories about a good many things. He had even got
+up once at the British Association, and declared that apes had
+hippopotamus majors in their brains just as men have. Which was a
+shocking thing to say; for, if it were so, what would become of the
+faith, hope, and charity of immortal millions? You may think that there
+are other more important differences between you and an ape, such as
+being able to speak, and make machines, and know right from wrong, and
+say your prayers, and other little matters of that kind; but that is a
+child's fancy, my dear. Nothing is to be depended on but the great
+hippopotamus test. If you have a hippopotamus major in your brain, you
+are no ape, though you had four hands, no feet, and were more apish than
+the apes of all aperies. But if a hippopotamus major is ever discovered
+in one single ape's brain, nothing will save your great-great-great-great-
+great-great-great-great-great-great-great-greater-greatest-grandmother
+from having been an ape too. No, my dear little man; always remember
+that the one true, certain, final, and all-important difference between
+you and an ape is, that you have a hippopotamus major in your brain, and
+it has none; and that, therefore, to discover one in its brain will be a
+very wrong and dangerous thing, at which every one will be very much
+shocked, as we may suppose they were at the professor.--Though really,
+after all, it don't much matter; because--as Lord Dundreary and others
+would put it--nobody but men have hippopotamuses in their brains; so, if
+a hippopotamus was discovered in an ape's brain, why it would not be
+one, you know, but something else.
+
+But the professor had gone, I am sorry to say, even further than
+that; for he had read at the British Association at Melbourne,
+Australia, in the year 1999, a paper which assured every one who found
+himself the better or wiser for the news, that there were not, never
+had been, and could not be, any rational or half-rational beings
+except men, anywhere, anywhen, or anyhow; that _nymphs_, _satyrs_,
+_fauns_, _inui_, _dwarfs_, _trolls_, _elves_, _gnomes_, _fairies_,
+_brownies_, _nixes_, _wilis_, _kobolds_, _leprechaunes_, _cluricaunes_,
+_banshees_, _will-o'-the-wisps_, _follets_, _lutins_, _magots_, _goblins_,
+_afrits_, _marids_, _jinns_, _ghouls_, _peris_, _deevs_, _angels_,
+_archangels_, _imps_, _bogies_, or worse, were nothing at all, and pure
+bosh and wind. And he had to get up very early in the morning to prove
+that, and to eat his breakfast overnight; but he did it, at least to his
+own satisfaction. Whereon a certain great divine, and a very clever
+divine was he, called him a regular Sadducee; and probably he was quite
+right. Whereon the professor, in return, called him a regular Pharisee;
+and probably he was quite right too. But they did not quarrel in the
+least; for, when men are men of the world, hard words run off them like
+water off a duck's back. So the professor and the divine met at dinner
+that evening, and sat together on the sofa afterwards for an hour, and
+talked over the state of female labour on the antarctic continent (for
+nobody talks shop after his claret), and each vowed that the other was
+the best company he ever met in his life. What an advantage it is to be
+men of the world!
+
+From all which you may guess that the professor was not the least of
+little Ellie's opinion. So he gave her a succinct compendium of his
+famous paper at the British Association, in a form suited for the
+youthful mind. But, as we have gone over his arguments against
+water-babies once already, which is once too often, we will not repeat
+them here.
+
+Now little Ellie was, I suppose, a stupid little girl; for, instead of
+being convinced by Professor Ptthmllnsprts' arguments, she only asked
+the same question over again.
+
+"But why are there not water-babies?"
+
+I trust and hope that it was because the professor trod at that moment
+on the edge of a very sharp mussel, and hurt one of his corns sadly,
+that he answered quite sharply, forgetting that he was a scientific man,
+and therefore ought to have known that he couldn't know; and that he was
+a logician, and therefore ought to have known that he could not prove a
+universal negative--I say, I trust and hope it was because the mussel
+hurt his corn, that the professor answered quite sharply:
+
+"Because there ain't."
+
+Which was not even good English, my dear little boy; for, as you must
+know from Aunt Agitate's Arguments, the professor ought to have said, if
+he was so angry as to say anything of the kind--Because there are not:
+or are none: or are none of them; or (if he had been reading Aunt
+Agitate too) because they do not exist.
+
+And he groped with his net under the weeds so violently, that, as it
+befell, he caught poor little Tom.
+
+He felt the net very heavy; and lifted it out quickly, with Tom all
+entangled in the meshes.
+
+"Dear me!" he cried. "What a large pink Holothurian; with hands, too! It
+must be connected with Synapta."
+
+And he took him out.
+
+"It has actually eyes!" he cried. "Why, it must be a Cephalopod! This is
+most extraordinary!"
+
+"No, I ain't!" cried Tom, as loud as he could; for he did not like to be
+called bad names.
+
+"It is a water-baby!" cried Ellie; and of course it was.
+
+"Water-fiddlesticks, my dear!" said the professor; and he turned away
+sharply.
+
+There was no denying it. It was a water-baby: and he had said a moment
+ago that there were none. What was he to do?
+
+He would have liked, of course, to have taken Tom home in a bucket. He
+would not have put him in spirits. Of course not. He would have kept him
+alive, and petted him (for he was a very kind old gentleman), and
+written a book about him, and given him two long names, of which the
+first would have said a little about Tom, and the second all about
+himself; for of course he would have called him Hydrotecnon
+Ptthmllnsprtsianum, or some other long name like that; for they are
+forced to call everything by long names now, because they have used up
+all the short ones, ever since they took to making nine species out of
+one. But--what would all the learned men say to him after his speech at
+the British Association? And what would Ellie say, after what he had
+just told her?
+
+There was a wise old heathen once, who said, "Maxima debetur pueris
+reverentia"--The greatest reverence is due to children; that is, that
+grown people should never say or do anything wrong before children, lest
+they should set them a bad example.--Cousin Cramchild says it means,
+"The greatest respectfulness is expected from little boys." But he was
+raised in a country where little boys are not expected to be respectful,
+because all of them are as good as the President:--Well, every one knows
+his own concerns best; so perhaps they are. But poor Cousin Cramchild,
+to do him justice, not being of that opinion, and having a moral
+mission, and being no scholar to speak of, and hard up for an
+authority--why, it was a very great temptation for him. But some people,
+and I am afraid the professor was one of them, interpret that in a more
+strange, curious, one-sided, left-handed, topsy-turvy, inside-out,
+behind-before fashion than even Cousin Cramchild; for they make it mean,
+that you must show your respect for children, by never confessing
+yourself in the wrong to them, even if you know that you are so, lest
+they should lose confidence in their elders.
+
+Now, if the professor had said to Ellie, "Yes, my darling, it is a
+water-baby, and a very wonderful thing it is; and it shows how little I
+know of the wonders of nature, in spite of forty years' honest labour. I
+was just telling you that there could be no such creatures; and,
+behold! here is one come to confound my conceit and show me that Nature
+can do, and has done, beyond all that man's poor fancy can imagine. So,
+let us thank the Maker, and Inspirer, and Lord of Nature for all His
+wonderful and glorious works, and try and find out something about this
+one";--I think that, if the professor had said that, little Ellie would
+have believed him more firmly, and respected him more deeply, and loved
+him better, than ever she had done before. But he was of a different
+opinion. He hesitated a moment. He longed to keep Tom, and yet he half
+wished he never had caught him; and at last he quite longed to get rid
+of him. So he turned away and poked Tom with his finger, for want of
+anything better to do; and said carelessly, "My dear little maid, you
+must have dreamt of water-babies last night, your head is so full of
+them."
+
+Now Tom had been in the most horrible and unspeakable fright all the
+while; and had kept as quiet as he could, though he was called a
+Holothurian and a Cephalopod; for it was fixed in his little head that
+if a man with clothes on caught him, he might put clothes on him too,
+and make a dirty black chimney-sweep of him again. But, when the
+professor poked him, it was more than he could bear; and, between fright
+and rage, he turned to bay as valiantly as a mouse in a corner, and bit
+the professor's finger till it bled.
+
+"Oh! ah! yah!" cried he; and glad of an excuse to be rid of Tom, dropped
+him on to the seaweed, and thence he dived into the water and was gone
+in a moment.
+
+[Illustration: "The fairies came flying in at the window and brought her
+such a pretty pair of wings."--_P. 126._]
+
+"But it was a water-baby, and I heard it speak!" cried Ellie. "Ah, it is
+gone!" And she jumped down off the rock to try and catch Tom before he
+slipped into the sea.
+
+Too late! and what was worse, as she sprang down, she slipped, and fell
+some six feet, with her head on a sharp rock, and lay quite still.
+
+The professor picked her up, and tried to waken her, and called to her,
+and cried over her, for he loved her very much: but she would not waken
+at all. So he took her up in his arms and carried her to her governess,
+and they all went home; and little Ellie was put to bed, and lay there
+quite still; only now and then she woke up and called out about the
+water-baby: but no one knew what she meant, and the professor did not
+tell, for he was ashamed to tell.
+
+And, after a week, one moonlight night, the fairies came flying in at
+the window and brought her such a pretty pair of wings that she could
+not help putting them on; and she flew with them out of the window, and
+over the land, and over the sea, and up through the clouds, and nobody
+heard or saw anything of her for a very long while.
+
+And this is why they say that no one has ever yet seen a water-baby. For
+my part, I believe that the naturalists get dozens of them when they are
+out dredging; but they say nothing about them, and throw them overboard
+again, for fear of spoiling their theories. But, you see the
+professor was found out, as every one is in due time. A very terrible
+old fairy found the professor out; she felt his bumps, and cast his
+nativity, and took the lunars of him carefully inside and out; and so
+she knew what he would do as well as if she had seen it in a print book,
+as they say in the dear old west country; and he did it; and so he was
+found out beforehand, as everybody always is; and the old fairy will
+find out the naturalists some day, and put them in the _Times_, and then
+on whose side will the laugh be?
+
+So the old fairy took him in hand very severely there and then. But she
+says she is always most severe with the best people, because there is
+most chance of curing them, and therefore they are the patients who pay
+her best; for she has to work on the same salary as the Emperor of
+China's physicians (it is a pity that all do not), no cure, no pay.
+
+So she took the poor professor in hand: and because he was not content
+with things as they are, she filled his head with things as they are
+not, to try if he would like them better; and because he did not choose
+to believe in a water-baby when he saw it, she made him believe in worse
+things than water-babies--in _unicorns_, _fire-drakes_, _manticoras_,
+_basilisks_, _amphisbaenas_, _griffins_, _ph[oe]nixes_, _rocs_, _orcs_,
+_dog-headed men_, _three-headed dogs_, _three-bodied geryons_, and other
+pleasant creatures, which folks think never existed yet, and which folks
+hope never will exist, though they know nothing about the matter, and
+never will; and these creatures so upset, terrified, flustered,
+aggravated, confused, astounded, horrified, and totally flabbergasted
+the poor professor that the doctors said that he was out of his wits for
+three months; and perhaps they were right, as they are now and then.
+
+So all the doctors in the county were called in to make a report on his
+case; and of course every one of them flatly contradicted the other:
+else what use is there in being men of science? But at last the majority
+agreed on a report in the true medical language, one half bad Latin, the
+other half worse Greek, and the rest what might have been English, if
+they had only learnt to write it. And this is the beginning thereof--
+
+"_The subanhypaposupernal anastomoses of peritomic diacellurite in the
+encephalo digital region of the distinguished individual of whose
+symptomatic ph[oe]nomena we had the melancholy honour (subsequently to a
+preliminary diagnostic inspection) of making an inspectorial diagnosis,
+presenting the interexclusively quadrilateral and antinomian diathesis
+known as Bumpsterhausen's blue follicles, we proceeded_"--
+
+But what they proceeded to do My Lady never knew; for she was so
+frightened at the long words that she ran for her life, and locked
+herself into her bedroom, for fear of being squashed by the words and
+strangled by the sentence. A boa constrictor, she said, was bad company
+enough: but what was a boa constrictor made of paving stones?
+
+"It was quite shocking! What can they think is the matter with him?"
+said she to the old nurse.
+
+"That his wit's just addled; may be wi' unbelief and heathenry," quoth
+she.
+
+"Then why can't they say so?"
+
+And the heaven, and the sea, and the rocks, and the vales
+re-echoed--"Why indeed?" But the doctors never heard them.
+
+So she made Sir John write to the _Times_ to command the Chancellor of
+the Exchequer for the time being to put a tax on long words;--
+
+A light tax on words over three syllables, which are necessary evils,
+like rats: but, like them, must be kept down judiciously.
+
+A heavy tax on words over four syllables, as _heterodoxy_,
+_spontaneity_, _spiritualism_, _spuriosity_, _etc._
+
+And on words over five syllables (of which I hope no one will wish to
+see any examples), a totally prohibitory tax.
+
+And a similar prohibitory tax on words derived from three or more
+languages at once; words derived from two languages having become so
+common that there was no more hope of rooting out them than of rooting
+out peth-winds.
+
+The Chancellor of the Exchequer, being a scholar and a man of sense,
+jumped at the notion; for he saw in it the one and only plan for
+abolishing Schedule D: but when he brought in his bill, most of the
+Irish members, and (I am sorry to say) some of the Scotch likewise,
+opposed it most strongly, on the ground that in a free country no man
+was bound either to understand himself or to let others understand him.
+So the bill fell through on the first reading; and the Chancellor,
+being a philosopher, comforted himself with the thought that it was not
+the first time that a woman had hit off a grand idea and the men turned
+up their stupid noses thereat.
+
+Now the doctors had it all their own way; and to work they went in
+earnest, and they gave the poor professor divers and sundry medicines,
+as prescribed by the ancients and moderns, from Hippocrates to
+Feuchtersleben, as below, viz.--
+
+  1. _Hellebore, to wit_--
+         _Hellebore of AEta._
+         _Hellebore of Galatia._
+         _Hellebore of Sicily._
+         _And all other Hellebores, after the method of the
+            Helleborising Helleborists of the Helleboric era.
+            But that would not do. Bumpsterhausen's blue follicles
+            would not stir an inch out of his encephalo digital
+            region._
+
+  2. _Trying to find out what was the matter with him, after the
+        method of_
+       _Hippocrates_,
+       _Aretaeus_,
+       _Celsus_,
+       _C[oe]lius Aurelianus_,
+       _And Galen_.
+
+But they found that a great deal too much trouble, as most people have
+since; and so had recourse to--
+
+  3. _Borage._
+     _Cauteries._
+
+Boring a hole in his head to let out fumes, which (says Gordonius)
+"will, without doubt, do much good." But it didn't.
+
+   _Bezoar stone._
+   _Diamargaritum._
+   _A ram's brain boiled in spice._
+   _Oil of wormwood._
+   _Water of Nile._
+   _Capers._
+   _Good wine (but there was none to be got)._
+   _The water of a smith's forge._
+   _Hops._
+   _Ambergris._
+   _Mandrake pillows._
+   _Dormouse fat._
+   _Hares' ears._
+   _Starvation._
+   _Camphor._
+   _Salts and senna._
+   _Musk._
+   _Opium._
+   _Strait-waistcoats._
+   _Bullyings._
+   _Bumpings._
+   _Blisterings._
+   _Bleedings._
+   _Bucketings with cold water._
+   _Knockings down._
+   _Kneeling on his chest till they broke it in,
+      etc. etc.; after the mediaeval or monkish
+      method: but that would not do. Bumpsterhausen's
+      blue follicles stuck there still._
+
+Then--
+
+  4. _Coaxing._
+     _Kissing._
+     _Champagne and turtle._
+     _Red herrings and soda water._
+     _Good advice._
+     _Gardening._
+     _Croquet._
+     _Musical soirees._
+     _Aunt Sally._
+     _Mild tobacco._
+     _The Saturday Review._
+     _A carriage with outriders, etc. etc._
+
+After the modern method. But that would not do.
+
+And if he had but been a convict lunatic, and had shot at the Queen,
+killed all his creditors to avoid paying them, or indulged in any other
+little amiable eccentricity of that kind, they would have given him in
+addition--
+
+The healthiest situation in England, on Easthampstead Plain.
+
+Free run of Windsor Forest.
+
+The _Times_ every morning.
+
+A double-barrelled gun and pointers, and leave to shoot three Wellington
+College boys a week (not more) in case black game was scarce.
+
+But as he was neither mad enough nor bad enough to be allowed such
+luxuries, they grew desperate, and fell into bad ways, viz.--
+
+  5. _Suffumigations of sulphur._
+     _Herrwiggius his "Incomparable drink for madmen"_:
+
+Only they could not find out what it was.
+
+    _Suffumigation of the liver of the fish * * *_
+
+Only they had forgotten its name, so Dr. Gray could not well procure
+them a specimen.
+
+    _Metallic tractors._
+    _Holloway's Ointment._
+    _Electro-biology._
+    _Valentine Greatrakes his Stroking Cure._
+    _Spirit-rapping._
+    _Holloway's Pills._
+    _Table-turning._
+    _Morison's Pills._
+    _Hom[oe]opathy._
+    _Parr's Life Pills._
+    _Mesmerism._
+    _Pure Bosh._
+    _Exorcisms, for which they read Maleus Maleficarum, Nideri
+       Formicarium, Delrio, Wierus, etc._
+
+But could not get one that mentioned water-babies.
+
+    _Hydropathy._
+    _Madame Rachel's Elixir of Youth._
+    _The Poughkeepsie Seer his Prophecies._
+    _The distilled liquor of addle eggs._
+    _Pyropathy._
+
+As successfully employed by the old inquisitors to cure the malady of
+thought, and now by the Persian Mollahs to cure that of rheumatism.
+
+    _Geopathy, or burying him._
+    _Atmopathy, or steaming him._
+    _Sympathy, after the method of Basil Valentine his Triumph
+        of Antimony, and Kenelm Digby his Weapon-salve, which some
+        call a hair of the dog that bit him._
+    _Hermopathy, or pouring mercury down his throat to move the
+        animal spirits._
+    _Meteoropathy, or going up to the moon to look for his lost
+        wits, as Ruggiero did for Orlando Furioso's: only, having
+        no hippogriff, they were forced to use a balloon; and,
+        falling into the North Sea, were picked up by a Yarmouth
+        herring-boat, and came home much the wiser, and all over
+        scales._
+    _Antipathy, or using him like "a man and a brother."_
+    _Apathy, or doing nothing at all._
+    _With all other ipathies and opathies which Noodle has invented,
+        and Foodle tried, since black-fellows chipped flints at
+        Abbeville--which is a considerable time ago, to judge by
+        the Great Exhibition._
+
+But nothing would do; for he screamed and cried all day for a
+water-baby, to come and drive away the monsters; and of course they did
+not try to find one, because they did not believe in them, and were
+thinking of nothing but Bumpsterhausen's blue follicles; having, as
+usual, set the cart before the horse, and taken the effect for the
+cause.
+
+So they were forced at last to let the poor professor ease his mind by
+writing a great book, exactly contrary to all his old opinions; in which
+he proved that the moon was made of green cheese, and that all the mites
+in it (which you may see sometimes quite plain through a telescope, if
+you will only keep the lens dirty enough, as Mr. Weekes kept his voltaic
+battery) are nothing in the world but little babies, who are hatching
+and swarming up there in millions, ready to come down into this world
+whenever children want a new little brother or sister.
+
+Which must be a mistake, for this one reason: that, there being no
+atmosphere round the moon (though some one or other says there is, at
+least on the other side, and that he has been round at the back of it to
+see, and found that the moon was just the shape of a Bath bun, and so
+wet that the man in the moon went about on Midsummer-day in Macintoshes
+and Cording's boots, spearing eels and sneezing); that, therefore, I
+say, there being no atmosphere, there can be no evaporation; and
+therefore, the dew-point can never fall below 71.5 deg. below zero of
+Fahrenheit: and, therefore, it cannot be cold enough there about four
+o'clock in the morning to condense the babies' mesenteric apophthegms
+into their left ventricles; and, therefore, they can never catch the
+hooping-cough; and if they do not have hooping-cough, they cannot be
+babies at all; and, therefore, there are no babies in the moon.--Q.E.D.
+
+Which may seem a roundabout reason; and so, perhaps, it is: but you will
+have heard worse ones in your time, and from better men than you are.
+
+But one thing is certain; that, when the good old doctor got his book
+written, he felt considerably relieved from Bumpsterhausen's blue
+follicles, and a few things infinitely worse; to wit, from pride and
+vain-glory, and from blindness and hardness of heart; which are the true
+causes of Bumpsterhausen's blue follicles, and of a good many other ugly
+things besides. Whereon the foul flood-water in his brains ran down, and
+cleared to a fine coffee colour, such as fish like to rise in, till very
+fine clean fresh-run fish did begin to rise in his brains; and he caught
+two or three of them (which is exceedingly fine sport, for brain
+rivers), and anatomised them carefully, and never mentioned what he
+found out from them, except to little children; and became ever after a
+sadder and a wiser man; which is a very good thing to become, my dear
+little boy, even though one has to pay a heavy price for the blessing.
+
+        "Stern Lawgiver! yet thou dost wear
+         The Godhead's most benignant grace;
+         Nor know we anything so fair
+         As is the smile upon thy face:
+         Flowers laugh before thee on their beds
+         And fragrance in thy footing treads;
+         Thou dost preserve the stars from wrong;
+  And the most ancient heavens, through Thee, are fresh and strong."
+
+                                 WORDSWORTH, _Ode to Duty_.
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER V
+
+
+BUT what became of little Tom?
+
+He slipped away off the rocks into the water, as I said before. But he
+could not help thinking of little Ellie. He did not remember who she
+was; but he knew that she was a little girl, though she was a hundred
+times as big as he. That is not surprising: size has nothing to do with
+kindred. A tiny weed may be first cousin to a great tree; and a little
+dog like Vick knows that Lioness is a dog too, though she is twenty
+times larger than herself. So Tom knew that Ellie was a little girl, and
+thought about her all that day, and longed to have had her to play with;
+but he had very soon to think of something else. And here is the account
+of what happened to him, as it was published next morning in the
+Waterproof Gazette, on the finest watered paper, for the use of the
+great fairy, Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid, who reads the news very carefully
+every morning, and especially the police cases, as you will hear very
+soon.
+
+He was going along the rocks in three-fathom water, watching the pollock
+catch prawns, and the wrasses nibble barnacles off the rocks, shells and
+all, when he saw a round cage of green withes; and inside it, looking
+very much ashamed of himself, sat his friend the lobster, twiddling his
+horns, instead of thumbs.
+
+"What, have you been naughty, and have they put you in the lock-up?"
+asked Tom.
+
+The lobster felt a little indignant at such a notion, but he was too
+much depressed in spirits to argue; so he only said, "I can't get out."
+
+"Why did you get in?"
+
+"After that nasty piece of dead fish." He had thought it looked and
+smelt very nice when he was outside, and so it did, for a lobster: but
+now he turned round and abused it because he was angry with himself.
+
+"Where did you get in?"
+
+"Through that round hole at the top."
+
+"Then why don't you get out through it?"
+
+"Because I can't": and the lobster twiddled his horns more fiercely than
+ever, but he was forced to confess.
+
+"I have jumped upwards, downwards, backwards, and sideways, at least
+four thousand times; and I can't get out: I always get up underneath
+there, and can't find the hole."
+
+Tom looked at the trap, and having more wit than the lobster, he saw
+plainly enough what was the matter; as you may if you will look at a
+lobster-pot.
+
+"Stop a bit," said Tom. "Turn your tail up to me, and I'll pull you
+through hindforemost, and then you won't stick in the spikes."
+
+But the lobster was so stupid and clumsy that he couldn't hit the hole.
+Like a great many fox-hunters, he was very sharp as long as he was in
+his own country; but as soon as they get out of it they lose their
+heads; and so the lobster, so to speak, lost his tail.
+
+Tom reached and clawed down the hole after him, till he caught hold of
+him; and then, as was to be expected, the clumsy lobster pulled him in
+head foremost.
+
+"Hullo! here is a pretty business," said Tom. "Now take your great
+claws, and break the points off those spikes, and then we shall both get
+out easily."
+
+"Dear me, I never thought of that," said the lobster; "and after all the
+experience of life that I have had!"
+
+You see, experience is of very little good unless a man, or a lobster,
+has wit enough to make use of it. For a good many people, like old
+Polonius, have seen all the world, and yet remain little better than
+children after all.
+
+But they had not got half the spikes away when they saw a great dark
+cloud over them: and lo, and behold, it was the otter.
+
+How she did grin and grin when she saw Tom. "Yar!" said she, "you little
+meddlesome wretch, I have you now! I will serve you out for telling the
+salmon where I was!" And she crawled all over the pot to get in.
+
+Tom was horribly frightened, and still more frightened when she found
+the hole in the top, and squeezed herself right down through it, all
+eyes and teeth. But no sooner was her head inside than valiant Mr.
+Lobster caught her by the nose and held on.
+
+And there they were all three in the pot, rolling over and over, and
+very tight packing it was. And the lobster tore at the otter, and the
+otter tore at the lobster, and both squeezed and thumped poor Tom till
+he had no breath left in his body; and I don't know what would have
+happened to him if he had not at last got on the otter's back, and safe
+out of the hole.
+
+He was right glad when he got out: but he would not desert his friend
+who had saved him; and the first time he saw his tail uppermost he
+caught hold of it, and pulled with all his might.
+
+But the lobster would not let go.
+
+"Come along," said Tom; "don't you see she is dead?" And so she was,
+quite drowned and dead.
+
+And that was the end of the wicked otter.
+
+But the lobster would not let go.
+
+"Come along, you stupid old stick-in-the-mud," cried Tom, "or the
+fisherman will catch you!" And that was true, for Tom felt some one
+above beginning to haul up the pot.
+
+But the lobster would not let go.
+
+Tom saw the fisherman haul him up to the boat-side, and thought it was
+all up with him. But when Mr. Lobster saw the fisherman, he gave such a
+furious and tremendous snap, that he snapped out of his hand, and out of
+the pot, and safe into the sea. But he left his knobbed claw behind
+him; for it never came into his stupid head to let go after all, so he
+just shook his claw off as the easier method. It was something of a
+bull, that; but you must know the lobster was an Irish lobster, and was
+hatched off Island Magee at the mouth of Belfast Lough.
+
+Tom asked the lobster why he never thought of letting go. He said very
+determinedly that it was a point of honour among lobsters. And so it is,
+as the Mayor of Plymouth found out once to his cost--eight or nine
+hundred years ago, of course; for if it had happened lately it would be
+personal to mention it.
+
+For one day he was so tired with sitting on a hard chair, in a grand
+furred gown, with a gold chain round his neck, hearing one policeman
+after another come in and sing, "What shall we do with the drunken
+sailor, so early in the morning?" and answering them each exactly alike:
+
+"Put him in the round house till he gets sober, so early in the
+morning"--
+
+That, when it was over, he jumped up, and played leap-frog with the
+town-clerk till he burst his buttons, and then had his luncheon, and
+burst some more buttons, and then said: "It is a low spring-tide; I
+shall go out this afternoon and cut my capers."
+
+Now he did not mean to cut such capers as you eat with boiled mutton. It
+was the commandant of artillery at Valetta who used to amuse himself
+with cutting them, and who stuck upon one of the bastions a notice, "No
+one allowed to cut capers here but me," which greatly edified the
+midshipmen in port, and the Maltese on the Nix Mangiare stairs. But all
+that the mayor meant was that he would go and have an afternoon's fun,
+like any schoolboy, and catch lobsters with an iron hook.
+
+So to the Mewstone he went, and for lobsters he looked. And when he came
+to a certain crack in the rocks he was so excited that, instead of
+putting in his hook, he put in his hand; and Mr. Lobster was at home,
+and caught him by the finger, and held on.
+
+"Yah!" said the mayor, and pulled as hard as he dared: but the more he
+pulled, the more the lobster pinched, till he was forced to be quiet.
+
+Then he tried to get his hook in with his other hand; but the hole was
+too narrow.
+
+Then he pulled again; but he could not stand the pain.
+
+Then he shouted and bawled for help: but there was no one nearer him
+than the men-of-war inside the breakwater.
+
+Then he began to turn a little pale; for the tide flowed, and still the
+lobster held on.
+
+Then he turned quite white; for the tide was up to his knees, and still
+the lobster held on.
+
+Then he thought of cutting off his finger; but he wanted two things to
+do it with--courage and a knife; and he had got neither.
+
+Then he turned quite yellow; for the tide was up to his waist, and still
+the lobster held on.
+
+Then he thought over all the naughty things he ever had done; all the
+sand which he had put in the sugar, and the sloe-leaves in the tea, and
+the water in the treacle, and the salt in the tobacco (because his
+brother was a brewer, and a man must help his own kin).
+
+Then he turned quite blue; for the tide was up to his breast, and still
+the lobster held on.
+
+Then, I have no doubt, he repented fully of all the said naughty things
+which he had done, and promised to mend his life, as too many do when
+they think they have no life left to mend. Whereby, as they fancy, they
+make a very cheap bargain. But the old fairy with the birch rod soon
+undeceives them.
+
+And then he grew all colours at once, and turned up his eyes like a duck
+in thunder; for the water was up to his chin, and still the lobster held
+on.
+
+And then came a man-of-war's boat round the Mewstone, and saw his head
+sticking up out of the water. One said it was a keg of brandy, and
+another that it was a cocoa-nut, and another that it was a buoy loose,
+and another that it was a black diver, and wanted to fire at it, which
+would not have been pleasant for the mayor: but just then such a yell
+came out of a great hole in the middle of it that the midshipman in
+charge guessed what it was, and bade pull up to it as fast as they
+could. So somehow or other the Jack-tars got the lobster out, and set
+the mayor free, and put him ashore at the Barbican. He never went
+lobster-catching again; and we will hope he put no more salt in the
+tobacco, not even to sell his brother's beer.
+
+[Illustration: "A real live water-baby sitting on the white sand."--_P.
+146_.]
+
+And that is the story of the Mayor of Plymouth, which has two
+advantages--first, that of being quite true; and second, that of having
+(as folks say all good stories ought to have) no moral whatsoever: no
+more, indeed, has any part of this book, because it is a fairy tale, you
+know.
+
+And now happened to Tom a most wonderful thing; for he had not left the
+lobster five minutes before he came upon a water-baby.
+
+A real live water-baby, sitting on the white sand, very busy about a
+little point of rock. And when it saw Tom it looked up for a moment, and
+then cried, "Why, you are not one of us. You are a new baby! Oh, how
+delightful!"
+
+And it ran to Tom, and Tom ran to it, and they hugged and kissed each
+other for ever so long, they did not know why. But they did not want any
+introductions there under the water.
+
+At last Tom said, "Oh, where have you been all this while? I have been
+looking for you so long, and I have been so lonely."
+
+"We have been here for days and days. There are hundreds of us about the
+rocks. How was it you did not see us, or hear us when we sing and romp
+every evening before we go home?"
+
+Tom looked at the baby again, and then he said:
+
+"Well, this is wonderful! I have seen things just like you again and
+again, but I thought you were shells, or sea-creatures. I never took you
+for water-babies like myself."
+
+Now, was not that very odd? So odd, indeed, that you will, no doubt,
+want to know how it happened, and why Tom could never find a water-baby
+till after he had got the lobster out of the pot. And, if you will read
+this story nine times over, and then think for yourself, you will find
+out why. It is not good for little boys to be told everything, and never
+to be forced to use their own wits. They would learn, then, no more than
+they do at Dr. Dulcimer's famous suburban establishment for the idler
+members of the youthful aristocracy, where the masters learn the lessons
+and the boys hear them--which saves a great deal of trouble--for the
+time being.
+
+"Now," said the baby, "come and help me, or I shall not have finished
+before my brothers and sisters come, and it is time to go home."
+
+"What shall I help you at?"
+
+"At this poor dear little rock; a great clumsy boulder came rolling by
+in the last storm, and knocked all its head off, and rubbed off all its
+flowers. And now I must plant it again with seaweeds, and coralline, and
+anemones, and I will make it the prettiest little rock-garden on all the
+shore."
+
+So they worked away at the rock, and planted it, and smoothed the sand
+down round it, and capital fun they had till the tide began to turn. And
+then Tom heard all the other babies coming, laughing and singing and
+shouting and romping; and the noise they made was just like the noise of
+the ripple. So he knew that he had been hearing and seeing the
+water-babies all along; only he did not know them, because his eyes and
+ears were not opened.
+
+And in they came, dozens and dozens of them, some bigger than Tom and
+some smaller, all in the neatest little white bathing dresses; and when
+they found that he was a new baby, they hugged him and kissed him, and
+then put him in the middle and danced round him on the sand, and there
+was no one ever so happy as poor little Tom.
+
+"Now then," they cried all at once, "we must come away home, we must
+come away home, or the tide will leave us dry. We have mended all the
+broken seaweed, and put all the rock-pools in order, and planted all the
+shells again in the sand, and nobody will see where the ugly storm swept
+in last week."
+
+And this is the reason why the rock-pools are always so neat and clean;
+because the water-babies come inshore after every storm to sweep them
+out, and comb them down, and put them all to rights again.
+
+Only where men are wasteful and dirty, and let sewers run into the sea
+instead of putting the stuff upon the fields like thrifty reasonable
+souls; or throw herrings' heads and dead dog-fish, or any other refuse,
+into the water; or in any way make a mess upon the clean shore--there
+the water-babies will not come, sometimes not for hundreds of years (for
+they cannot abide anything smelly or foul), but leave the sea-anemones
+and the crabs to clear away everything, till the good tidy sea has
+covered up all the dirt in soft mud and clean sand, where the
+water-babies can plant live cockles and whelks and razor-shells and
+sea-cucumbers and golden-combs, and make a pretty live garden again,
+after man's dirt is cleared away. And that, I suppose, is the reason why
+there are no water-babies at any watering-place which I have ever seen.
+
+And where is the home of the water-babies? In St. Brandan's fairy isle.
+
+Did you never hear of the blessed St. Brandan, how he preached to the
+wild Irish on the wild, wild Kerry coast, he and five other hermits,
+till they were weary and longed to rest? For the wild Irish would not
+listen to them, or come to confession and to mass, but liked better to
+brew potheen, and dance the pater o'pee, and knock each other over the
+head with shillelaghs, and shoot each other from behind turf-dykes, and
+steal each other's cattle, and burn each other's homes; till St. Brandan
+and his friends were weary of them, for they would not learn to be
+peaceable Christians at all.
+
+So St. Brandan went out to the point of Old Dunmore, and looked over the
+tide-way roaring round the Blasquets, at the end of all the world, and
+away into the ocean, and sighed--"Ah that I had wings as a dove!" And
+far away, before the setting sun, he saw a blue fairy sea, and golden
+fairy islands, and he said, "Those are the islands of the blest." Then
+he and his friends got into a hooker, and sailed away and away to the
+westward, and were never heard of more. But the people who would not
+hear him were changed into gorillas, and gorillas they are until this
+day.
+
+And when St. Brandan and the hermits came to that fairy isle they found
+it overgrown with cedars and full of beautiful birds; and he sat down
+under the cedars and preached to all the birds in the air. And they
+liked his sermons so well that they told the fishes in the sea; and they
+came, and St. Brandan preached to them; and the fishes told the
+water-babies, who live in the caves under the isle; and they came up by
+hundreds every Sunday, and St. Brandan got quite a neat little
+Sunday-school. And there he taught the water-babies for a great many
+hundred years, till his eyes grew too dim to see, and his beard grew so
+long that he dared not walk for fear of treading on it, and then he
+might have tumbled down. And at last he and the five hermits fell fast
+asleep under the cedar-shades, and there they sleep unto this day. But
+the fairies took to the water-babies, and taught them their lessons
+themselves.
+
+And some say that St. Brandan will awake and begin to teach the babies
+once more: but some think that he will sleep on, for better for worse,
+till the coming of the Cocqcigrues. But, on still clear summer evenings,
+when the sun sinks down into the sea, among golden cloud-capes and
+cloud-islands, and locks and friths of azure sky, the sailors fancy that
+they see, away to westward, St. Brandan's fairy isle.
+
+[Illustration: "Tom found that the isle stood all on pillars, and that
+its roots were full of caves."--_P. 151_.]
+
+But whether men can see it or not, St. Brandan's Isle once actually
+stood there; a great land out in the ocean, which has sunk and sunk
+beneath the waves. Old Plato called it Atlantis, and told strange
+tales of the wise men who lived therein, and of the wars they fought in
+the old times. And from off that island came strange flowers, which
+linger still about this land:--the Cornish heath, and Cornish moneywort,
+and the delicate Venus's hair, and the London-pride which covers the
+Kerry mountains, and the little pink butterwort of Devon, and the great
+blue butterwort of Ireland, and the Connemara heath, and the
+bristle-fern of the Turk waterfall, and many a strange plant more; all
+fairy tokens left for wise men and good children from off St. Brandan's
+Isle.
+
+Now when Tom got there, he found that the isle stood all on pillars, and
+that its roots were full of caves. There were pillars of black basalt,
+like Staffa; and pillars of green and crimson serpentine, like Kynance;
+and pillars ribboned with red and white and yellow sandstone, like
+Livermead; and there were blue grottoes like Capri, and white grottoes
+like Adelsberg; all curtained and draped with seaweeds, purple and
+crimson, green and brown; and strewn with soft white sand, on which the
+water-babies sleep every night. But, to keep the place clean and sweet,
+the crabs picked up all the scraps off the floor and ate them like so
+many monkeys; while the rocks were covered with ten thousand
+sea-anemones, and corals and madrepores, who scavenged the water all day
+long, and kept it nice and pure. But, to make up to them for having to
+do such nasty work, they were not left black and dirty, as poor
+chimney-sweeps and dustmen are. No; the fairies are more considerate and
+just than that, and have dressed them all in the most beautiful colours
+and patterns, till they look like vast flower-beds of gay blossoms. If
+you think I am talking nonsense, I can only say that it is true; and
+that an old gentleman named Fourier used to say that we ought to do the
+same by chimney-sweeps and dustmen, and honour them instead of despising
+them; and he was a very clever old gentleman: but, unfortunately for him
+and the world, as mad as a March hare.
+
+And, instead of watchmen and policemen to keep out nasty things at
+night, there were thousands and thousands of water-snakes, and most
+wonderful creatures they were. They were all named after the Nereids,
+the sea-fairies who took care of them, Eunice and Polynoe, Phyllodoce
+and Psamathe, and all the rest of the pretty darlings who swim round
+their Queen Amphitrite, and her car of cameo shell. They were dressed in
+green velvet, and black velvet, and purple velvet; and were all jointed
+in rings; and some of them had three hundred brains apiece, so that they
+must have been uncommonly shrewd detectives; and some had eyes in their
+tails; and some had eyes in every joint, so that they kept a very sharp
+look-out; and when they wanted a baby-snake, they just grew one at the
+end of their own tails, and when it was able to take care of itself it
+dropped off; so that they brought up their families very cheaply. But if
+any nasty thing came by, out they rushed upon it; and then out of each
+of their hundreds of feet there sprang a whole cutler's shop of
+
+          _Scythes_,           _Javelins_,
+          _Billhooks_,         _Lances_,
+          _Pickaxes_,          _Halberts_,
+          _Forks_,             _Gisarines_,
+          _Penknives_,         _Poleaxes_,
+          _Rapiers_,           _Fishhooks_,
+          _Sabres_,            _Bradawls_,
+          _Yataghans_,         _Gimblets_,
+          _Creeses_,           _Corkscrews_,
+          _Ghoorka swords_,    _Pins_,
+          _Tucks_,             _Needles_,
+                    _And so forth_,
+
+which stabbed, shot, poked, pricked, scratched, ripped, pinked, and
+crimped those naughty beasts so terribly that they had to run for their
+lives, or else be chopped into small pieces and be eaten afterwards.
+And, if that is not all, every word, true, then there is no faith in
+microscopes, and all is over with the Linnaean Society.
+
+And there were the water-babies in thousands, more than Tom, or you
+either, could count.--All the little children whom the good fairies take
+to, because their cruel mothers and fathers will not; all who are
+untaught and brought up heathens, and all who come to grief by ill-usage
+or ignorance or neglect; all the little children who are overlaid, or
+given gin when they are young, or are let to drink out of hot kettles,
+or to fall into the fire; all the little children in alleys and courts,
+and tumble-down cottages, who die by fever, and cholera, and measles,
+and scarlatina, and nasty complaints which no one has any business to
+have, and which no one will have some day, when folks have common sense;
+and all the little children who have been killed by cruel masters and
+wicked soldiers; they were all there, except, of course, the babes of
+Bethlehem who were killed by wicked King Herod; for they were taken
+straight to heaven long ago, as everybody knows, and we call them the
+Holy Innocents.
+
+But I wish Tom had given up all his naughty tricks, and left off
+tormenting dumb animals now that he had plenty of playfellows to amuse
+him. Instead of that, I am sorry to say, he would meddle with the
+creatures, all but the water-snakes, for they would stand no nonsense.
+So he tickled the madrepores, to make them shut up; and frightened the
+crabs, to make them hide in the sand and peep out at him with the tips
+of their eyes; and put stones into the anemones' mouths, to make them
+fancy that their dinner was coming.
+
+The other children warned him, and said, "Take care what you are at.
+Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid is coming." But Tom never heeded them, being quite
+riotous with high spirits and good luck, till, one Friday morning early,
+Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid came indeed.
+
+A very tremendous lady she was; and when the children saw her they all
+stood in a row, very upright indeed, and smoothed down their bathing
+dresses, and put their hands behind them, just as if they were going to
+be examined by the inspector.
+
+And she had on a black bonnet, and a black shawl, and no crinoline at
+all; and a pair of large green spectacles, and a great hooked nose,
+hooked so much that the bridge of it stood quite up above her eyebrows;
+and under her arm she carried a great birch-rod. Indeed, she was so ugly
+that Tom was tempted to make faces at her: but did not; for he did not
+admire the look of the birch-rod under her arm.
+
+And she looked at the children one by one, and seemed very much
+pleased with them, though she never asked them one question about
+how they were behaving; and then began giving them all sorts of nice
+sea-things--sea-cakes, sea-apples, sea-oranges, sea-bullseyes,
+sea-toffee; and to the very best of all she gave sea-ices, made out of
+sea-cows' cream, which never melt under water.
+
+And, if you don't quite believe me, then just think--What is more cheap
+and plentiful than sea-rock? Then why should there not be sea-toffee as
+well? And every one can find sea-lemons (ready quartered too) if they
+will look for them at low tide; and sea-grapes too sometimes, hanging in
+bunches; and, if you will go to Nice, you will find the fish-market full
+of sea-fruit, which they call "frutta di mare": though I suppose they
+call them "fruits de mer" now, out of compliment to that most
+successful, and therefore most immaculate, potentate who is seemingly
+desirous of inheriting the blessing pronounced on those who remove their
+neighbours' land-mark. And, perhaps, that is the very reason why the
+place is called Nice, because there are so many nice things in the sea
+there: at least, if it is not, it ought to be.
+
+Now little Tom watched all these sweet things given away, till his mouth
+watered, and his eyes grew as round as an owl's. For he hoped that his
+turn would come at last; and so it did. For the lady called him up, and
+held out her fingers with something in them, and popped it into his
+mouth; and, lo and behold, it was a nasty cold hard pebble.
+
+"You are a very cruel woman," said he, and began to whimper.
+
+"And you are a very cruel boy; who puts pebbles into the sea-anemones'
+mouths, to take them in, and make them fancy that they had caught a good
+dinner! As you did to them, so I must do to you."
+
+"Who told you that?" said Tom.
+
+"You did yourself, this very minute."
+
+Tom had never opened his lips; so he was very much taken aback indeed.
+
+"Yes; every one tells me exactly what they have done wrong; and that
+without knowing it themselves. So there is no use trying to hide
+anything from me. Now go, and be a good boy, and I will put no more
+pebbles in your mouth, if you put none in other creatures'."
+
+"I did not know there was any harm in it," said Tom.
+
+"Then you know now. People continually say that to me: but I tell them,
+if you don't know that fire burns, that is no reason that it should not
+burn you; and if you don't know that dirt breeds fever, that is no
+reason why the fevers should not kill you. The lobster did not know that
+there was any harm in getting into the lobster-pot; but it caught him
+all the same."
+
+"Dear me," thought Tom, "she knows everything!" And so she did, indeed.
+
+"And so, if you do not know that things are wrong, that is no reason why
+you should not be punished for them; though not as much, not as much, my
+little man" (and the lady looked very kindly, after all), "as if you did
+know."
+
+"Well, you are a little hard on a poor lad," said Tom.
+
+"Not at all; I am the best friend you ever had in all your life. But I
+will tell you; I cannot help punishing people when they do wrong. I like
+it no more than they do; I am often very, very sorry for them, poor
+things: but I cannot help it. If I tried not to do it, I should do it
+all the same. For I work by machinery, just like an engine; and am full
+of wheels and springs inside; and am wound up very carefully, so that I
+cannot help going."
+
+"Was it long ago since they wound you up?" asked Tom. For he thought,
+the cunning little fellow, "She will run down some day: or they may
+forget to wind her up, as old Grimes used to forget to wind up his watch
+when he came in from the public-house; and then I shall be safe."
+
+"I was wound up once and for all, so long ago, that I forget all about
+it."
+
+"Dear me," said Tom, "you must have been made a long time!"
+
+"I never was made, my child; and I shall go for ever and ever; for I am
+as old as Eternity, and yet as young as Time."
+
+And there came over the lady's face a very curious expression--very
+solemn, and very sad; and yet very, very sweet. And she looked up and
+away, as if she were gazing through the sea, and through the sky, at
+something far, far off; and as she did so, there came such a quiet,
+tender, patient, hopeful smile over her face that Tom thought for the
+moment that she did not look ugly at all. And no more she did; for she
+was like a great many people who have not a pretty feature in their
+faces, and yet are lovely to behold, and draw little children's hearts
+to them at once; because though the house is plain enough, yet from the
+windows a beautiful and good spirit is looking forth.
+
+And Tom smiled in her face, she looked so pleasant for the moment. And
+the strange fairy smiled too, and said:
+
+"Yes. You thought me very ugly just now, did you not?"
+
+Tom hung down his head, and got very red about the ears.
+
+"And I am very ugly. I am the ugliest fairy in the world; and I shall
+be, till people behave themselves as they ought to do. And then I shall
+grow as handsome as my sister, who is the loveliest fairy in the world;
+and her name is Mrs. Doasyouwouldbedoneby. So she begins where I end,
+and I begin where she ends; and those who will not listen to her must
+listen to me, as you will see. Now, all of you run away, except Tom; and
+he may stay and see what I am going to do. It will be a very good
+warning for him to begin with, before he goes to school.
+
+"Now, Tom, every Friday I come down here and call up all who have
+ill-used little children and serve them as they served the children."
+
+And at that Tom was frightened, and crept under a stone; which made the
+two crabs who lived there very angry, and frightened their friend the
+butter-fish into flapping hysterics: but he would not move for them.
+
+And first she called up all the doctors who give little children so much
+physic (they were most of them old ones; for the young ones have learnt
+better, all but a few army surgeons, who still fancy that a baby's
+inside is much like a Scotch grenadier's), and she set them all in a
+row; and very rueful they looked; for they knew what was coming.
+
+And first she pulled all their teeth out; and then she bled them all
+round: and then she dosed them with calomel, and jalap, and salts and
+senna, and brimstone and treacle; and horrible faces they made; and then
+she gave them a great emetic of mustard and water, and no basons; and
+began all over again; and that was the way she spent the morning.
+
+And then she called up a whole troop of foolish ladies, who pinch up
+their children's waists and toes; and she laced them all up in tight
+stays, so that they were choked and sick, and their noses grew red, and
+their hands and feet swelled; and then she crammed their poor feet into
+the most dreadfully tight boots, and made them all dance, which they did
+most clumsily indeed; and then she asked them how they liked it; and
+when they said not at all, she let them go: because they had only done
+it out of foolish fashion, fancying it was for their children's good, as
+if wasps' waists and pigs' toes could be pretty, or wholesome, or of any
+use to anybody.
+
+Then she called up all the careless nursery-maids, and stuck pins into
+them all over, and wheeled them about in perambulators with tight straps
+across their stomachs and their heads and arms hanging over the side,
+till they were quite sick and stupid, and would have had sun-strokes:
+but, being under the water, they could only have water-strokes; which, I
+assure you, are nearly as bad, as you will find if you try to sit under
+a mill-wheel. And mind--when you hear a rumbling at the bottom of the
+sea, sailors will tell you that it is a ground-swell: but now you know
+better. It is the old lady wheeling the maids about in perambulators.
+
+And by that time she was so tired, she had to go to luncheon.
+
+And after luncheon she set to work again, and called up all the cruel
+schoolmasters--whole regiments and brigades of them; and when she saw
+them, she frowned most terribly, and set to work in earnest, as if the
+best part of the day's work was to come. More than half of them were
+nasty, dirty, frowzy, grubby, smelly old monks, who, because they dare
+not hit a man of their own size, amused themselves with beating little
+children instead; as you may see in the picture of old Pope Gregory
+(good man and true though he was, when he meddled with things which he
+did understand), teaching children to sing their fa-fa-mi-fa with a
+cat-o'-nine-tails under his chair: but, because they never had any
+children of their own, they took into their heads (as some folks do
+still) that they were the only people in the world who knew how to
+manage children: and they first brought into England, in the old
+Anglo-Saxon times, the fashion of treating free boys, and girls too,
+worse than you would treat a dog or a horse: but Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid
+has caught them all long ago; and given them many a taste of their own
+rods; and much good may it do them.
+
+And she boxed their ears, and thumped them over the head with rulers,
+and pandied their hands with canes, and told them that they told
+stories, and were this and that bad sort of people; and the more they
+were very indignant, and stood upon their honour, and declared they told
+the truth, the more she declared they were not, and that they were only
+telling lies; and at last she birched them all round soundly with her
+great birch-rod and set them each an imposition of three hundred
+thousand lines of Hebrew to learn by heart before she came back next
+Friday. And at that they all cried and howled so, that their breaths
+came all up through the sea like bubbles out of soda-water; and that is
+one reason of the bubbles in the sea. There are others: but that is the
+one which principally concerns little boys. And by that time she was so
+tired that she was glad to stop; and, indeed, she had done a very good
+day's work.
+
+Tom did not quite dislike the old lady: but he could not help thinking
+her a little spiteful--and no wonder if she was, poor old soul; for if
+she has to wait to grow handsome till people do as they would be done
+by, she will have to wait a very long time.
+
+Poor old Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid! she has a great deal of hard work before
+her, and had better have been born a washerwoman, and stood over a tub
+all day: but, you see, people cannot always choose their own profession.
+
+But Tom longed to ask her one question; and after all, whenever she
+looked at him, she did not look cross at all; and now and then there was
+a funny smile in her face, and she chuckled to herself in a way which
+gave Tom courage, and at last he said:
+
+"Pray, ma'am, may I ask you a question?"
+
+"Certainly, my little dear."
+
+"Why don't you bring all the bad masters here and serve them out too?
+The butties that knock about the poor collier-boys; and the nailers that
+file off their lads' noses and hammer their fingers; and all the master
+sweeps, like my master Grimes? I saw him fall into the water long ago;
+so I surely expected he would have been here. I'm sure he was bad enough
+to me."
+
+Then the old lady looked so very stern that Tom was quite frightened,
+and sorry that he had been so bold. But she was not angry with him. She
+only answered, "I look after them all the week round; and they are in a
+very different place from this, because they knew that they were doing
+wrong."
+
+She spoke very quietly; but there was something in her voice which made
+Tom tingle from head to foot, as if he had got into a shoal of
+sea-nettles.
+
+"But these people," she went on, "did not know that they were doing
+wrong: they were only stupid and impatient; and therefore I only punish
+them till they become patient, and learn to use their common sense like
+reasonable beings. But as for chimney-sweeps, and collier-boys, and
+nailer lads, my sister has set good people to stop all that sort of
+thing; and very much obliged to her I am; for if she could only stop the
+cruel masters from ill-using poor children, I should grow handsome at
+least a thousand years sooner. And now do you be a good boy, and do as
+you would be done by, which they did not; and then, when my sister,
+MADAME DOASYOUWOULDBEDONEBY, comes on Sunday, perhaps she will take
+notice of you, and teach you how to behave. She understands that better
+than I do." And so she went.
+
+Tom was very glad to hear that there was no chance of meeting Grimes
+again, though he was a little sorry for him, considering that he used
+sometimes to give him the leavings of the beer: but he determined to be
+a very good boy all Saturday; and he was; for he never frightened one
+crab, nor tickled any live corals, nor put stones into the sea anemones'
+mouths, to make them fancy they had got a dinner; and when Sunday
+morning came, sure enough, MRS. DOASYOUWOULDBEDONEBY came too. Whereat
+all the little children began dancing and clapping their hands, and Tom
+danced too with all his might.
+
+And as for the pretty lady, I cannot tell you what the colour of her
+hair was, or of her eyes: no more could Tom; for, when any one looks at
+her, all they can think of is, that she has the sweetest, kindest,
+tenderest, funniest, merriest face they ever saw, or want to see. But
+Tom saw that she was a very tall woman, as tall as her sister: but
+instead of being gnarly and horny, and scaly, and prickly, like her, she
+was the most nice, soft, fat, smooth, pussy, cuddly, delicious creature
+who ever nursed a baby; and she understood babies thoroughly, for she
+had plenty of her own, whole rows and regiments of them, and has to this
+day. And all her delight was, whenever she had a spare moment, to play
+with babies, in which she showed herself a woman of sense; for babies
+are the best company, and the pleasantest playfellows, in the world; at
+least, so all the wise people in the world think. And therefore when the
+children saw her, they naturally all caught hold of her, and pulled her
+till she sat down on a stone, and climbed into her lap, and clung round
+her neck, and caught hold of her hands; and then they all put their
+thumbs into their mouths, and began cuddling and purring like so many
+kittens, as they ought to have done. While those who could get nowhere
+else sat down on the sand, and cuddled her feet--for no one, you know,
+wear shoes in the water, except horrid old bathing-women, who are afraid
+of the water-babies pinching their horny toes. And Tom stood staring at
+them; for he could not understand what it was all about.
+
+"And who are you, you little darling?" she said.
+
+"Oh, that is the new baby!" they all cried, pulling their thumbs out of
+their mouths; "and he never had any mother," and they all put their
+thumbs back again, for they did not wish to lose any time.
+
+"Then I will be his mother, and he shall have the very best place; so
+get out, all of you, this moment."
+
+And she took up two great armfuls of babies--nine hundred under one arm,
+and thirteen hundred under the other--and threw them away, right and
+left, into the water. But they minded it no more than the naughty boys
+in Struwwelpeter minded when St. Nicholas dipped them in his inkstand;
+and did nor even take their thumbs out of their mouths, but came
+paddling and wriggling back to her like so many tadpoles, till you could
+see nothing of her from head to foot for the swarm of little babies.
+
+But she took Tom in her arms, and laid him in the softest place of all,
+and kissed him, and patted him, and talked to him, tenderly and low,
+such things as he had never heard before in his life; and Tom looked up
+into her eyes, and loved her, and loved, till he fell fast asleep from
+pure love.
+
+And when he woke she was telling the children a story. And what story
+did she tell them? One story she told them, which begins every Christmas
+Eve, and yet never ends at all for ever and ever; and, as she went on,
+the children took their thumbs out of their mouths and listened quite
+seriously; but not sadly at all; for she never told them anything sad;
+and Tom listened too, and never grew tired of listening. And he listened
+so long that he fell fast asleep again, and, when he woke, the lady was
+nursing him still.
+
+"Don't go away," said little Tom. "This is so nice. I never had any one
+to cuddle me before."
+
+"Don't go away," said all the children; "you have not sung us one song."
+
+"Well, I have time for only one. So what shall it be?"
+
+"The doll you lost! The doll you lost!" cried all the babies at once.
+
+So the strange fairy sang:--
+
+          _I once had a sweet little doll, dears,
+             The prettiest doll in the world;
+           Her cheeks were so red and so white, dears,
+             And her hair was so charmingly curled.
+           But I lost my poor little doll, dears,
+             As I played in the heath one day;
+           And I cried for her more than a week, dears,
+            But I never could find where she lay._
+
+          _I found my poor little doll, dears,
+             As I played in the heath one day:
+           Folks say she is terribly changed, dears,
+             For her paint is all washed away,
+           And her arm trodden off by the cows, dears,
+             And her hair not the least bit curled:
+           Yet, for old sakes' sake she is still, dears,
+             The prettiest doll in the world._
+
+What a silly song for a fairy to sing!
+
+And what silly water-babies to be quite delighted at it!
+
+Well, but you see they have not the advantage of Aunt Agitate's
+Arguments in the sea-land down below.
+
+"Now," said the fairy to Tom, "will you be a good boy for my sake, and
+torment no more sea-beasts till I come back?"
+
+"And you will cuddle me again?" said poor little Tom.
+
+"Of course I will, you little duck. I should like to take you with me
+and cuddle you all the way, only I must not"; and away she went.
+
+So Tom really tried to be a good boy, and tormented no sea-beasts after
+that as long as he lived; and he is quite alive, I assure you, still.
+
+Oh, how good little boys ought to be who have kind pussy mammas to
+cuddle them and tell them stories; and how afraid they ought to be of
+growing naughty, and bringing tears into their mammas' pretty eyes!
+
+          "Thou little child, yet glorious in the night
+           Of heaven-born freedom on thy Being's height,
+           Why with such earnest pains dost thou provoke
+           The Years to bring the inevitable yoke--
+           Thus blindly with thy blessedness at strife?
+           Full soon thy soul shall have her earthly freight,
+           And custom lie upon thee with a weight
+           Heavy as frost, and deep almost as life."
+
+                                         WORDSWORTH.
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VI
+
+
+HERE I come to the very saddest part of all my story. I know some people
+will only laugh at it, and call it much ado about nothing. But I know
+one man who would not; and he was an officer with a pair of grey
+moustaches as long as your arm, who said once in company that two of the
+most heart-rending sights in the world, which moved him most to tears,
+which he would do anything to prevent or remedy, were a child over a
+broken toy and a child stealing sweets.
+
+The company did not laugh at him; his moustaches were too long and too
+grey for that: but, after he was gone, they called him sentimental and
+so forth, all but one dear little old Quaker lady with a soul as white
+as her cap, who was not, of course, generally partial to soldiers; and
+she said very quietly, like a Quaker:
+
+"Friends, it is borne upon my mind that that is a truly brave man."
+
+[Illustration: "He crept away among the rocks, and got to the cabinet,
+and behold! it was open."--_P. 172_.]
+
+Now you may fancy that Tom was quite good, when he had everything that
+he could want or wish: but you would be very much mistaken. Being quite
+comfortable is a very good thing; but it does not make people good.
+Indeed, it sometimes makes them naughty, as it has made the people in
+America; and as it made the people in the Bible, who waxed fat and
+kicked, like horses overfed and underworked. And I am very sorry to say
+that this happened to little Tom. For he grew so fond of the
+sea-bullseyes and sea-lollipops that his foolish little head could think
+of nothing else: and he was always longing for more, and wondering when
+the strange lady would come again and give him some, and what she would
+give him, and how much, and whether she would give him more than the
+others. And he thought of nothing but lollipops by day, and dreamt of
+nothing else by night--and what happened then?
+
+That he began to watch the lady to see where she kept the sweet things:
+and began hiding, and sneaking, and following her about, and pretending
+to be looking the other way, or going after something else, till he
+found out that she kept them in a beautiful mother-of-pearl cabinet away
+in a deep crack of the rocks.
+
+And he longed to go to the cabinet, and yet he was afraid; and then he
+longed again, and was less afraid; and at last, by continual thinking
+about it, he longed so violently that he was not afraid at all. And one
+night, when all the other children were asleep, and he could not sleep
+for thinking of lollipops, he crept away among the rocks, and got to the
+cabinet, and behold! it was open.
+
+But, when he saw all the nice things inside, instead of being delighted,
+he was quite frightened, and wished he had never come there. And then
+he would only touch them, and he did; and then he would only taste one,
+and he did; and then he would only eat one, and he did; and then he
+would only eat two, and then three, and so on; and then he was terrified
+lest she should come and catch him, and began gobbling them down so fast
+that he did not taste them, or have any pleasure in them; and then he
+felt sick, and would have only one more; and then only one more again;
+and so on till he had eaten them all up.
+
+And all the while, close behind him, stood Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid.
+
+Some people may say, But why did she not keep her cupboard locked? Well,
+I know.--It may seem a very strange thing, but she never does keep her
+cupboard locked; every one may go and taste for themselves, and fare
+accordingly. It is very odd, but so it is; and I am quite sure that she
+knows best. Perhaps she wishes people to keep their fingers out of the
+fire, by having them burned.
+
+She took off her spectacles, because she did not like to see too much;
+and in her pity she arched up her eyebrows into her very hair, and her
+eyes grew so wide that they would have taken in all the sorrows of the
+world, and filled with great big tears, as they too often do.
+
+But all she said was:
+
+"Ah, you poor little dear! you are just like all the rest."
+
+But she said it to herself, and Tom neither heard nor saw her. Now, you
+must not fancy that she was sentimental at all. If you do, and think
+that she is going to let off you, or me, or any human being when we do
+wrong, because she is too tender-hearted to punish us, then you will
+find yourself very much mistaken, as many a man does every year and
+every day.
+
+But what did the strange fairy do when she saw all her lollipops eaten?
+
+Did she fly at Tom, catch him by the scruff of the neck, hold him, howk
+him, hump him, hurry him, hit him, poke him, pull him, pinch him, pound
+him, put him in the corner, shake him, slap him, set him on a cold stone
+to reconsider himself, and so forth?
+
+Not a bit. You may watch her at work if you know where to find her. But
+you will never see her do that. For, if she had, she knew quite well Tom
+would have fought, and kicked, and bit, and said bad words, and turned
+again that moment into a naughty little heathen chimney-sweep, with his
+hand, like Ishmael's of old, against every man, and every man's hand
+against him.
+
+Did she question him, hurry him, frighten him, threaten him, to make him
+confess? Not a bit. You may see her, as I said, at her work often enough
+if you know where to look for her: but you will never see her do that.
+For, if she had, she would have tempted him to tell lies in his fright;
+and that would have been worse for him, if possible, than even becoming
+a heathen chimney-sweep again.
+
+No. She leaves that for anxious parents and teachers (lazy ones, some
+call them), who, instead of giving children a fair trial, such as they
+would expect and demand for themselves, force them by fright to confess
+their own faults--which is so cruel and unfair that no judge on the
+bench dare do it to the wickedest thief or murderer, for the good
+British law forbids it--ay, and even punish them to make them confess,
+which is so detestable a crime that it is never committed now, save by
+Inquisitors, and Kings of Naples, and a few other wretched people of
+whom the world is weary. And then they say, "We have trained up the
+child in the way he should go, and when he grew up he has departed from
+it. Why then did Solomon say that he would not depart from it?" But
+perhaps the way of beating, and hurrying, and frightening, and
+questioning, was not the way that the child should go; for it is not
+even the way in which a colt should go if you want to break it in and
+make it a quiet serviceable horse.
+
+Some folks may say, "Ah! but the Fairy does not need to do that if she
+knows everything already." True. But, if she did not know, she would not
+surely behave worse than a British judge and jury; and no more should
+parents and teachers either.
+
+So she just said nothing at all about the matter, not even when Tom came
+next day with the rest for sweet things. He was horribly afraid of
+coming: but he was still more afraid of staying away, lest any one
+should suspect him. He was dreadfully afraid, too, lest there should be
+no sweets--as was to be expected, he having eaten them all--and lest
+then the fairy should inquire who had taken them. But, behold! she
+pulled out just as many as ever, which astonished Tom, and frightened
+him still more.
+
+And, when the fairy looked him full in the face, he shook from head to
+foot: however she gave him his share like the rest, and he thought
+within himself that she could not have found him out.
+
+But, when he put the sweets into his mouth, he hated the taste of them;
+and they made him so sick that he had to get away as fast as he could;
+and terribly sick he was, and very cross and unhappy, all the week
+after.
+
+Then, when next week came, he had his share again; and again the fairy
+looked him full in the face; but more sadly than she had ever looked.
+And he could not bear the sweets: but took them again in spite of
+himself.
+
+And when Mrs. Doasyouwouldbedoneby came, he wanted to be cuddled like
+the rest; but she said very seriously:
+
+"I should like to cuddle you; but I cannot, you are so horny and
+prickly."
+
+And Tom looked at himself: and he was all over prickles, just like a
+sea-egg.
+
+Which was quite natural; for you must know and believe that people's
+souls make their bodies just as a snail makes its shell (I am not
+joking, my little man; I am in serious, solemn earnest). And therefore,
+when Tom's soul grew all prickly with naughty tempers, his body could
+not help growing prickly too, so that nobody would cuddle him, or play
+with him, or even like to look at him.
+
+What could Tom do now but go away and hide in a corner and cry? For
+nobody would play with him, and he knew full well why.
+
+And he was so miserable all that week that when the ugly fairy came and
+looked at him once more full in the face, more seriously and sadly than
+ever, he could stand it no longer, and thrust the sweetmeats away,
+saying, "No, I don't want any: I can't bear them now," and then burst
+out crying, poor little man, and told Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid every word
+as it happened.
+
+He was horribly frightened when he had done so; for he expected her to
+punish him very severely. But, instead, she only took him up and kissed
+him, which was not quite pleasant, for her chin was very bristly indeed;
+but he was so lonely-hearted, he thought that rough kissing was better
+than none.
+
+"I will forgive you, little man," she said. "I always forgive every one
+the moment they tell me the truth of their own accord."
+
+"Then you will take away all these nasty prickles?"
+
+"That is a very different matter. You put them there yourself, and only
+you can take them away."
+
+"But how can I do that?" asked Tom, crying afresh.
+
+"Well, I think it is time for you to go to school; so I shall fetch you
+a schoolmistress, who will teach you how to get rid of your prickles."
+And so she went away.
+
+Tom was frightened at the notion of a schoolmistress; for he thought she
+would certainly come with a birch-rod or a cane; but he comforted
+himself, at last, that she might be something like the old woman in
+Vendale--which she was not in the least; for, when the fairy brought
+her, she was the most beautiful little girl that ever was seen, with
+long curls floating behind her like a golden cloud, and long robes
+floating all round her like a silver one.
+
+"There he is," said the fairy; "and you must teach him to be good,
+whether you like or not."
+
+"I know," said the little girl; but she did not seem quite to like, for
+she put her finger in her mouth, and looked at Tom under her brows; and
+Tom put his finger in his mouth, and looked at her under his brows, for
+he was horribly ashamed of himself.
+
+The little girl seemed hardly to know how to begin; and perhaps she
+would never have begun at all if poor Tom had not burst out crying, and
+begged her to teach him to be good and help him to cure his prickles;
+and at that she grew so tender-hearted that she began teaching him as
+prettily as ever child was taught in the world.
+
+And what did the little girl teach Tom? She taught him, first, what you
+have been taught ever since you said your first prayers at your mother's
+knees; but she taught him much more simply. For the lessons in that
+world, my child, have no such hard words in them as the lessons in
+this, and therefore the water-babies like them better than you like your
+lessons, and long to learn them more and more; and grown men cannot
+puzzle nor quarrel over their meaning, as they do here on land; for
+those lessons all rise clear and pure, like the Test out of Overton
+Pool, out of the everlasting ground of all life and truth.
+
+So she taught Tom every day in the week; only on Sundays she always went
+away home, and the kind fairy took her place. And before she had taught
+Tom many Sundays, his prickles had vanished quite away, and his skin was
+smooth and clean again.
+
+"Dear me!" said the little girl; "why, I know you now. You are the very
+same little chimney-sweep who came into my bedroom."
+
+"Dear me!" cried Tom. "And I know you, too, now. You are the very little
+white lady whom I saw in bed." And he jumped at her, and longed to hug
+and kiss her; but did not, remembering that she was a lady born; so he
+only jumped round and round her till he was quite tired.
+
+And then they began telling each other all their story--how he had got
+into the water, and she had fallen over the rock; and how he had swum
+down to the sea, and how she had flown out of the window; and how this,
+that, and the other, till it was all talked out: and then they both
+began over again, and I can't say which of the two talked fastest.
+
+And then they set to work at their lessons again, and both liked them
+so well that they went on well till seven full years were past and gone.
+
+You may fancy that Tom was quite content and happy all those seven
+years; but the truth is, he was not. He had always one thing on his
+mind, and that was--where little Ellie went, when she went home on
+Sundays.
+
+To a very beautiful place, she said.
+
+But what was the beautiful place like, and where was it?
+
+Ah! that is just what she could not say. And it is strange, but true,
+that no one can say; and that those who have been oftenest in it, or
+even nearest to it, can say least about it, and make people understand
+least what it is like. There are a good many folks about the
+Other-end-of-Nowhere (where Tom went afterwards), who pretend to know it
+from north to south as well as if they had been penny postmen there;
+but, as they are safe at the Other-end-of-Nowhere, nine hundred and
+ninety-nine million miles away, what they say cannot concern us.
+
+But the dear, sweet, loving, wise, good, self-sacrificing people, who
+really go there, can never tell you anything about it, save that it is
+the most beautiful place in all the world; and, if you ask them more,
+they grow modest, and hold their peace, for fear of being laughed at;
+and quite right they are.
+
+So all that good little Ellie could say was, that it was worth all the
+rest of the world put together. And of course that only made Tom the
+more anxious to go likewise.
+
+"Miss Ellie," he said at last, "I will know why I cannot go with you
+when you go home on Sundays, or I shall have no peace, and give you none
+either."
+
+"You must ask the fairies that."
+
+So when the fairy, Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid, came next, Tom asked her.
+
+"Little boys who are only fit to play with sea-beasts cannot go there,"
+she said. "Those who go there must go first where they do not like, and
+do what they do not like, and help somebody they do not like."
+
+"Why, did Ellie do that?"
+
+"Ask her."
+
+And Ellie blushed, and said, "Yes, Tom; I did not like coming here at
+first; I was so much happier at home, where it is always Sunday. And I
+was afraid of you, Tom, at first,--because--because----"
+
+"Because I was all over prickles? But I am not prickly now, am I, Miss
+Ellie?"
+
+"No," said Ellie. "I like you very much now; and I like coming here,
+too."
+
+"And perhaps," said the fairy, "you will learn to like going where you
+don't like, and helping some one that you don't like, as Ellie has."
+
+But Tom put his finger in his mouth, and hung his head down; for he did
+not see that at all.
+
+So when Mrs. Doasyouwouldbedoneby came, Tom asked her; for he thought in
+his little head, She is not so strict as her sister, and perhaps she
+may let me off more easily.
+
+Ah, Tom, Tom, silly fellow! and yet I don't know why I should blame you,
+while so many grown people have got the very same notion in their heads.
+
+But, when they try it, they get just the same answer as Tom did. For,
+when he asked the second fairy, she told him just what the first did,
+and in the very same words.
+
+Tom was very unhappy at that. And, when Ellie went home on Sunday, he
+fretted and cried all day, and did not care to listen to the fairy's
+stories about good children, though they were prettier than ever.
+Indeed, the more he overheard of them, the less he liked to listen,
+because they were all about children who did what they did not like, and
+took trouble for other people, and worked to feed their little brothers
+and sisters instead of caring only for their play. And, when she began
+to tell a story about a holy child in old times, who was martyred by the
+heathen because it would not worship idols, Tom could bear no more, and
+ran away and hid among the rocks.
+
+And, when Ellie came back, he was shy with her, because he fancied she
+looked down on him, and thought him a coward. And then he grew quite
+cross with her, because she was superior to him, and did what he could
+not do. And poor Ellie was quite surprised and sad; and at last Tom
+burst out crying; but he would not tell her what was really in his
+mind.
+
+And all the while he was eaten up with curiosity to know where Ellie
+went to; so that he began not to care for his playmates, or for the
+sea-palace or anything else. But perhaps that made matters all the
+easier for him; for he grew so discontented with everything round him
+that he did not care to stay, and did not care where he went.
+
+"Well," he said, at last, "I am so miserable here, I'll go; if only you
+will go with me?"
+
+"Ah!" said Ellie, "I wish I might; but the worst of it is, that the
+fairy says that you must go alone if you go at all. Now don't poke that
+poor crab about, Tom" (for he was feeling very naughty and mischievous),
+"or the fairy will have to punish you."
+
+Tom was very nearly saying, "I don't care if she does"; but he stopped
+himself in time.
+
+"I know what she wants me to do," he said, whining most dolefully. "She
+wants me to go after that horrid old Grimes. I don't like him, that's
+certain. And if I find him, he will turn me into a chimney-sweep again,
+I know. That's what I have been afraid of all along."
+
+"No, he won't--I know as much as that. Nobody can turn water-babies into
+sweeps, or hurt them at all, as long as they are good."
+
+"Ah," said naughty Tom, "I see what you want; you are persuading me all
+along to go, because you are tired of me, and want to get rid of me."
+
+Little Ellie opened her eyes very wide at that, and they were all
+brimming over with tears.
+
+"Oh, Tom, Tom!" she said, very mournfully--and then she cried, "Oh, Tom!
+where are you?"
+
+And Tom cried, "Oh, Ellie, where are you?"
+
+For neither of them could see each other--not the least. Little Ellie
+vanished quite away, and Tom heard her voice calling him, and growing
+smaller and smaller, and fainter and fainter, till all was silent.
+
+Who was frightened then but Tom? He swam up and down among the rocks,
+into all the halls and chambers, faster than ever he swam before, but
+could not find her. He shouted after her, but she did not answer; he
+asked all the other children, but they had not seen her; and at last he
+went up to the top of the water and began crying and screaming for Mrs.
+Bedonebyasyoudid--which perhaps was the best thing to do--for she came
+in a moment.
+
+"Oh!" said Tom. "Oh dear, oh dear! I have been naughty to Ellie, and I
+have killed her--I know I have killed her."
+
+"Not quite that," said the fairy; "but I have sent her away home, and
+she will not come back again for I do not know how long."
+
+And at that Tom cried so bitterly that the salt sea was swelled with his
+tears, and the tide was .3,954,620,819 of an inch higher than it had
+been the day before: but perhaps that was owing to the waxing of the
+moon. It may have been so; but it is considered right in the new
+philosophy, you know, to give spiritual causes for physical
+phenomena--especially in parlour-tables; and, of course, physical
+causes for spiritual ones, like thinking, and praying, and knowing right
+from wrong. And so they odds it till it comes even, as folks say down in
+Berkshire.
+
+"How cruel of you to send Ellie away!" sobbed Tom. "However, I will find
+her again, if I go to the world's end to look for her."
+
+The fairy did not slap Tom, and tell him to hold his tongue: but she
+took him on her lap very kindly, just as her sister would have done; and
+put him in mind how it was not her fault, because she was wound up
+inside, like watches, and could not help doing things whether she liked
+or not. And then she told him how he had been in the nursery long
+enough, and must go out now and see the world, if he intended ever to be
+a man; and how he must go all alone by himself, as every one else that
+ever was born has to go, and see with his own eyes, and smell with his
+own nose, and make his own bed and lie on it, and burn his own fingers
+if he put them into the fire. And then she told him how many fine things
+there were to be seen in the world, and what an odd, curious, pleasant,
+orderly, respectable, well-managed, and, on the whole, successful (as,
+indeed, might have been expected) sort of a place it was, if people
+would only be tolerably brave and honest and good in it; and then she
+told him not to be afraid of anything he met, for nothing would harm him
+if he remembered all his lessons, and did what he knew was right. And at
+last she comforted poor little Tom so much that he was quite eager to
+go, and wanted to set out that minute. "Only," he said, "if I might see
+Ellie once before I went!"
+
+"Why do you want that?"
+
+"Because--because I should be so much happier if I thought she had
+forgiven me."
+
+And in the twinkling of an eye there stood Ellie, smiling, and looking
+so happy that Tom longed to kiss her; but was still afraid it would not
+be respectful, because she was a lady born.
+
+"I am going, Ellie!" said Tom. "I am going, if it is to the world's end.
+But I don't like going at all, and that's the truth."
+
+"Pooh! pooh! pooh!" said the fairy. "You will like it very well indeed,
+you little rogue, and you know that at the bottom of your heart. But if
+you don't, I will make you like it. Come here, and see what happens to
+people who do only what is pleasant."
+
+And she took out of one of her cupboards (she had all sorts of
+mysterious cupboards in the cracks of the rocks) the most wonderful
+waterproof book, full of such photographs as never were seen. For she
+had found out photography (and this is a fact) more than 13,598,000
+years before anybody was born; and, what is more, her photographs did
+not merely represent light and shade, as ours do, but colour also, and
+all colours, as you may see if you look at a blackcock's tail, or a
+butterfly's wing, or indeed most things that are or can be, so to speak.
+And therefore her photographs were very curious and famous, and the
+children looked with great delight for the opening of the book.
+
+And on the title-page was written, "The History of the great and famous
+nation of the Doasyoulikes, who came away from the country of Hardwork,
+because they wanted to play on the Jews' harp all day long."
+
+In the first picture they saw these Doasyoulikes living in the land of
+Readymade, at the foot of the Happy-go-lucky Mountains, where flapdoodle
+grows wild; and if you want to know what that is, you must read Peter
+Simple.
+
+They lived very much such a life as those jolly old Greeks in Sicily,
+whom you may see painted on the ancient vases, and really there seemed
+to be great excuses for them, for they had no need to work.
+
+Instead of houses they lived in the beautiful caves of tufa, and bathed
+in the warm springs three times a day; and, as for clothes, it was so
+warm there that the gentlemen walked about in little beside a cocked hat
+and a pair of straps, or some light summer tackle of that kind; and the
+ladies all gathered gossamer in autumn (when they were not too lazy) to
+make their winter dresses.
+
+They were very fond of music, but it was too much trouble to learn the
+piano or the violin; and as for dancing, that would have been too great
+an exertion. So they sat on ant-hills all day long, and played on the
+Jews' harp; and, if the ants bit them, why they just got up and went to
+the next ant-hill, till they were bitten there likewise.
+
+And they sat under the flapdoodle-trees, and let the flapdoodle drop
+into their mouths; and under the vines, and squeezed the grape-juice
+down their throats; and, if any little pigs ran about ready roasted,
+crying, "Come and eat me," as was their fashion in that country, they
+waited till the pigs ran against their mouths, and then took a bite, and
+were content, just as so many oysters would have been.
+
+They needed no weapons, for no enemies ever came near their land; and no
+tools, for everything was readymade to their hand; and the stern old
+fairy Necessity never came near them to hunt them up, and make them use
+their wits, or die.
+
+And so on, and so on, and so on, till there were never such comfortable,
+easy-going, happy-go-lucky people in the world.
+
+"Well, that is a jolly life," said Tom.
+
+"You think so?" said the fairy. "Do you see that great peaked mountain
+there behind," said the fairy, "with smoke coming out of its top?"
+
+"Yes."
+
+"And do you see all those ashes, and slag, and cinders lying about?"
+
+"Yes."
+
+"Then turn over the next five hundred years, and you will see what
+happens next."
+
+And behold the mountain had blown up like a barrel of gunpowder, and
+then boiled over like a kettle; whereby one-third of the Doasyoulikes
+were blown into the air, and another third were smothered in ashes; so
+that there was only one-third left.
+
+"You see," said the fairy, "what comes of living on a burning mountain."
+
+"Oh, why did you not warn them?" said little Ellie.
+
+"I did warn them all that I could. I let the smoke come out of the
+mountain; and wherever there is smoke there is fire. And I laid the
+ashes and cinders all about; and wherever there are cinders, cinders may
+be again. But they did not like to face facts, my dears, as very few
+people do; and so they invented a cock-and-bull story, which, I am sure,
+I never told them, that the smoke was the breath of a giant, whom some
+gods or other had buried under the mountain; and that the cinders were
+what the dwarfs roasted the little pigs whole with; and other nonsense
+of that kind. And, when folks are in that humour, I cannot teach them,
+save by the good old birch-rod."
+
+And then she turned over the next five hundred years: and there were the
+remnant of the Doasyoulikes, doing as they liked, as before. They were
+too lazy to move away from the mountain; so they said, If it has blown
+up once, that is all the more reason that it should not blow up again.
+And they were few in number: but they only said, The more the merrier,
+but the fewer the better fare. However, that was not quite true; for all
+the flapdoodle-trees were killed by the volcano, and they had eaten all
+the roast pigs, who, of course, could not be expected to have little
+ones. So they had to live very hard, on nuts and roots which they
+scratched out of the ground with sticks. Some of them talked of sowing
+corn, as their ancestors used to do, before they came into the land of
+Readymade; but they had forgotten how to make ploughs (they had
+forgotten even how to make Jews' harps by this time), and had eaten all
+the seed-corn which they brought out of the land of Hardwork years
+since; and of course it was too much trouble to go away and find more.
+So they lived miserably on roots and nuts, and all the weakly little
+children had great stomachs, and then died.
+
+"Why," said Tom, "they are growing no better than savages."
+
+"And look how ugly they are all getting," said Ellie.
+
+"Yes; when people live on poor vegetables instead of roast beef and
+plum-pudding, their jaws grow large, and their lips grow coarse, like
+the poor Paddies who eat potatoes."
+
+And she turned over the next five hundred years. And there they were all
+living up in trees, and making nests to keep off the rain. And
+underneath the trees lions were prowling about.
+
+"Why," said Ellie, "the lions seem to have eaten a good many of them,
+for there are very few left now."
+
+"Yes," said the fairy; "you see it was only the strongest and most
+active ones who could climb the trees, and so escape."
+
+"But what great, hulking, broad-shouldered chaps they are," said Tom;
+"they are a rough lot as ever I saw."
+
+"Yes, they are getting very strong now; for the ladies will not marry
+any but the very strongest and fiercest gentlemen, who can help them up
+the trees out of the lions' way."
+
+And she turned over the next five hundred years. And in that they were
+fewer still, and stronger, and fiercer; but their feet had changed shape
+very oddly, for they laid hold of the branches with their great toes, as
+if they had been thumbs, just as a Hindoo tailor uses his toes to thread
+his needle.
+
+The children were very much surprised, and asked the fairy whether that
+was her doing.
+
+"Yes, and no," she said, smiling. "It was only those who could use their
+feet as well as their hands who could get a good living: or, indeed, get
+married; so that they got the best of everything, and starved out all
+the rest; and those who are left keep up a regular breed of
+toe-thumb-men, as a breed of short-horns, or skye-terriers, or fancy
+pigeons is kept up."
+
+"But there is a hairy one among them," said Ellie.
+
+"Ah!" said the fairy, "that will be a great man in his time, and chief
+of all the tribe."
+
+And, when she turned over the next five hundred years, it was true.
+
+For this hairy chief had had hairy children, and they hairier children
+still; and every one wished to marry hairy husbands, and have hairy
+children too; for the climate was growing so damp that none but the
+hairy ones could live: all the rest coughed and sneezed, and had sore
+throats, and went into consumptions, before they could grow up to be men
+and women.
+
+Then the fairy turned over the next five hundred years. And they were
+fewer still.
+
+"Why, there is one on the ground picking up roots," said Ellie, "and he
+cannot walk upright."
+
+No more he could; for in the same way that the shape of their feet had
+altered, the shape of their backs had altered also.
+
+"Why," cried Tom, "I declare they are all apes."
+
+"Something fearfully like it, poor foolish creatures," said the fairy.
+"They are grown so stupid now, that they can hardly think: for none of
+them have used their wits for many hundred years. They have almost
+forgotten, too, how to talk. For each stupid child forgot some of the
+words it heard from its stupid parents, and had not wits enough to make
+fresh words for itself. Beside, they are grown so fierce and suspicious
+and brutal that they keep out of each other's way, and mope and sulk in
+the dark forests, never hearing each other's voice, till they have
+forgotten almost what speech is like. I am afraid they will all be apes
+very soon, and all by doing only what they liked."
+
+And in the next five hundred years they were all dead and gone, by bad
+food and wild beasts and hunters; all except one tremendous old fellow
+with jaws like a jack, who stood full seven feet high; and M. Du Chaillu
+came up to him, and shot him, as he stood roaring and thumping his
+breast. And he remembered that his ancestors had once been men, and
+tried to say, "Am I not a man and a brother?" but had forgotten how to
+use his tongue; and then he had tried to call for a doctor, but he had
+forgotten the word for one. So all he said was "Ubboboo!" and died.
+
+And that was the end of the great and jolly nation of the Doasyoulikes.
+And, when Tom and Ellie came to the end of the book, they looked very
+sad and solemn; and they had good reason so to do, for they really
+fancied that the men were apes, and never thought, in their simplicity,
+of asking whether the creatures had hippopotamus majors in their brains
+or not; in which case, as you have been told already, they could not
+possibly have been apes, though they were more apish than the apes of
+all aperies.
+
+"But could you not have saved them from becoming apes?" said little
+Ellie, at last.
+
+"At first, my dear; if only they would have behaved like men, and set to
+work to do what they did not like. But the longer they waited, and
+behaved like the dumb beasts, who only do what they like, the stupider
+and clumsier they grew; till at last they were past all cure, for they
+had thrown their own wits away. It is such things as this that help to
+make me so ugly, that I know not when I shall grow fair."
+
+"And where are they all now?" asked Ellie.
+
+"Exactly where they ought to be, my dear."
+
+"Yes!" said the fairy, solemnly, half to herself, as she closed the
+wonderful book. "Folks say now that I can make beasts into men; by
+circumstance, and selection, and competition, and so forth. Well,
+perhaps they are right; and perhaps, again, they are wrong. That is one
+of the seven things which I am forbidden to tell, till the coming of the
+Cocqcigrues; and, at all events, it is no concern of theirs. Whatever
+their ancestors were, men they are; and I advise them to behave as such,
+and act accordingly. But let them recollect this, that there are two
+sides to every question, and a downhill as well as an uphill road; and,
+if I can turn beasts into men, I can, by the same laws of circumstance,
+and selection, and competition, turn men into beasts. You were very near
+being turned into a beast once or twice, little Tom. Indeed, if you had
+not made up your mind to go on this journey, and see the world, like an
+Englishman, I am not sure but that you would have ended as an eft in a
+pond."
+
+"Oh, dear me!" said Tom; "sooner than that, and be all over slime, I'll
+go this minute, if it is to the world's end."
+
+          "And Nature, the old Nurse, took
+             The child upon her knee,
+           Saying, 'Here is a story book
+             Thy father hath written for thee.
+
+          "'Come wander with me,' she said,
+             'Into regions yet untrod,
+           And read what is still unread
+             In the Manuscripts of God.'
+
+          "And he wandered away and away
+             With Nature, the dear old Nurse,
+           Who sang to him night and day
+             The rhymes of the universe."
+
+                                     LONGFELLOW.
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VII
+
+
+"NOW," said Tom, "I am ready to be off, if it's to the world's end."
+
+"Ah!" said the fairy, "that is a brave, good boy. But you must go
+farther than the world's end, if you want to find Mr. Grimes; for he is
+at the Other-end-of-Nowhere. You must go to Shiny Wall, and through the
+white gate that never was opened; and then you will come to Peacepool,
+and Mother Carey's Haven, where the good whales go when they die. And
+there Mother Carey will tell you the way to the Other-end-of-Nowhere,
+and there you will find Mr. Grimes."
+
+"Oh, dear!" said Tom. "But I do not know my way to Shiny Wall, or where
+it is at all."
+
+"Little boys must take the trouble to find out things for themselves, or
+they will never grow to be men; so that you must ask all the beasts in
+the sea and the birds in the air, and if you have been good to them,
+some of them will tell you the way to Shiny Wall."
+
+"Well," said Tom, "it will be a long journey, so I had better start at
+once. Good-bye, Miss Ellie; you know I am getting a big boy, and I must
+go out and see the world."
+
+"I know you must," said Ellie; "but you will not forget me, Tom. I shall
+wait here till you come."
+
+And she shook hands with him, and bade him good-bye. Tom longed very
+much again to kiss her; but he thought it would not be respectful,
+considering she was a lady born; so he promised not to forget her: but
+his little whirl-about of a head was so full of the notion of going out
+to see the world, that it forgot her in five minutes: however, though
+his head forgot her, I am glad to say his heart did not.
+
+So he asked all the beasts in the sea, and all the birds in the air, but
+none of them knew the way to Shiny Wall. For why? He was still too far
+down south.
+
+Then he met a ship, far larger than he had ever seen--a gallant
+ocean-steamer, with a long cloud of smoke trailing behind; and he
+wondered how she went on without sails, and swam up to her to see. A
+school of dolphins were running races round and round her, going three
+feet for her one, and Tom asked them the way to Shiny Wall: but they did
+not know. Then he tried to find out how she moved, and at last he saw
+her screw, and was so delighted with it that he played under her quarter
+all day, till he nearly had his nose knocked off by the fans, and
+thought it time to move. Then he watched the sailors upon deck, and the
+ladies, with their bonnets and parasols: but none of them could see him,
+because their eyes were not opened,--as, indeed, most people's eyes are
+not.
+
+At last there came out into the quarter-gallery a very pretty lady, in
+deep black widow's weeds, and in her arms a baby. She leaned over the
+quarter-gallery, and looked back and back toward England far away; and
+as she looked she sang:
+
+
+I.
+
+           "_Soft soft wind, from out the sweet south sliding,
+          Waft thy silver cloud-webs athwart the summer sea;
+             Thin thin threads of mist on dewy fingers twining
+          Weave a veil of dappled gauze to shade my babe and me._
+
+
+II.
+
+            "_Deep deep Love, within thine own abyss abiding,
+          Pour Thyself abroad, O Lord, on earth and air and sea;
+             Worn weary hearts within Thy holy temple hiding,
+          Shield from sorrow, sin, and shame my helpless babe and me._"
+
+Her voice was so soft and low, and the music of the air so sweet, that
+Tom could have listened to it all day. But as she held the baby over the
+gallery rail, to show it the dolphins leaping and the water gurgling in
+the ship's wake, lo! and behold, the baby saw Tom.
+
+He was quite sure of that; for when their eyes met, the baby smiled and
+held out his hands; and Tom smiled and held out his hands too; and the
+baby kicked and leaped, as if it wanted to jump overboard to him.
+
+"What do you see, my darling?" said the lady; and her eyes followed the
+baby's till she too caught sight of Tom, swimming about among the
+foam-beads below.
+
+She gave a little shriek and start; and then she said, quite quietly,
+"Babies in the sea? Well, perhaps it is the happiest place for them";
+and waved her hand to Tom, and cried, "Wait a little, darling, only a
+little: and perhaps we shall go with you and be at rest."
+
+And at that an old nurse, all in black, came out and talked to her, and
+drew her in. And Tom turned away northward, sad and wondering; and
+watched the great steamer slide away into the dusk, and the lights on
+board peep out one by one, and die out again, and the long bar of smoke
+fade away into the evening mist, till all was out of sight.
+
+And he swam northward again, day after day, till at last he met the King
+of the Herrings, with a curry-comb growing out of his nose, and a sprat
+in his mouth for a cigar, and asked him the way to Shiny Wall; so he
+bolted his sprat head foremost, and said:
+
+"If I were you, young gentleman, I should go to the Allalonestone, and
+ask the last of the Gairfowl. She is of a very ancient clan, very nearly
+as ancient as my own; and knows a good deal which these modern upstarts
+don't, as ladies of old houses are likely to do."
+
+[Illustration: "There he saw the last of the Gairfowl, standing up on
+the Allalonestone, all alone."--_P. 201._]
+
+Tom asked his way to her, and the King of the Herrings told him very
+kindly, for he was a courteous old gentleman of the old school,
+though he was horribly ugly, and strangely bedizened too, like the old
+dandies who lounge in the club-house windows.
+
+But just as Tom had thanked him and set off, he called after him: "Hi! I
+say, can you fly?"
+
+"I never tried," says Tom. "Why?"
+
+"Because, if you can, I should advise you to say nothing to the old lady
+about it. There; take a hint. Good-bye."
+
+And away Tom went for seven days and seven nights due north-west, till
+he came to a great codbank, the like of which he never saw before. The
+great cod lay below in tens of thousands, and gobbled shell-fish all day
+long; and the blue sharks roved about in hundreds, and gobbled them when
+they came up. So they ate, and ate, and ate each other, as they had done
+since the making of the world; for no man had come here yet to catch
+them, and find out how rich old Mother Carey is.
+
+And there he saw the last of the Gairfowl, standing up on the
+Allalonestone, all alone. And a very grand old lady she was, full three
+feet high, and bolt upright, like some old Highland chieftainess. She
+had on a black velvet gown, and a white pinner and apron, and a very
+high bridge to her nose (which is a sure mark of high breeding), and a
+large pair of white spectacles on it, which made her look rather odd:
+but it was the ancient fashion of her house.
+
+And instead of wings, she had two little feathery arms, with which she
+fanned herself, and complained of the dreadful heat; and she kept on
+crooning an old song to herself, which she learnt when she was a little
+baby-bird, long ago--
+
+          "_Two little birds they sat on a stone,
+            One swam away, and then there was one,
+                  With a fal-lal-la-lady._
+
+          "_The other swam after, and then there was none,
+            And so the poor stone was left all alone;
+                  With a fal-lal-la-lady._"
+
+It was "flew" away, properly, and not "swam" away: but, as she could not
+fly, she had a right to alter it. However, it was a very fit song for
+her to sing, because she was a lady herself.
+
+Tom came up to her very humbly, and made his bow; and the first thing
+she said was--
+
+"Have you wings? Can you fly?"
+
+"Oh dear, no, ma'am; I should not think of such thing," said cunning
+little Tom.
+
+"Then I shall have great pleasure in talking to you, my dear. It is
+quite refreshing nowadays to see anything without wings. They must all
+have wings, forsooth, now, every new upstart sort of bird, and fly. What
+can they want with flying, and raising themselves above their proper
+station in life? In the days of my ancestors no birds ever thought of
+having wings, and did very well without; and now they all laugh at me
+because I keep to the good old fashion. Why, the very marrocks and
+dovekies have got wings, the vulgar creatures, and poor little ones
+enough they are; and my own cousins too, the razor-bills, who are
+gentlefolk born, and ought to know better than to ape their inferiors."
+
+And so she was running on, while Tom tried to get in a word edgeways;
+and at last he did, when the old lady got out of breath, and began
+fanning herself again; and then he asked if she knew the way to Shiny
+Wall.
+
+"Shiny Wall? Who should know better than I? We all came from Shiny Wall,
+thousands of years ago, when it was decently cold, and the climate was
+fit for gentlefolk; but now, what with the heat, and what with these
+vulgar-winged things who fly up and down and eat everything, so that
+gentlepeople's hunting is all spoilt, and one really cannot get one's
+living, or hardly venture off the rock for fear of being flown against
+by some creature that would not have dared to come within a mile of one
+a thousand years ago--what was I saying? Why, we have quite gone down in
+the world, my dear, and have nothing left but our honour. And I am the
+last of my family. A friend of mine and I came and settled on this rock
+when we were young, to be out of the way of low people. Once we were a
+great nation, and spread over all the Northern Isles. But men shot us
+so, and knocked us on the head, and took our eggs--why, if you will
+believe it, they say that on the coast of Labrador the sailors used to
+lay a plank from the rock on board the thing called their ship, and
+drive us along the plank by hundreds, till we tumbled down into the
+ship's waist in heaps; and then, I suppose, they ate us, the nasty
+fellows! Well--but--what was I saying? At last, there were none of us
+left, except on the old Gairfowlskerry, just off the Iceland coast, up
+which no man could climb. Even there we had no peace; for one day, when
+I was quite a young girl, the land rocked, and the sea boiled, and the
+sky grew dark, and all the air was filled with smoke and dust, and down
+tumbled the old Gairfowlskerry into the sea. The dovekies and marrocks,
+of course, all flew away; but we were too proud to do that. Some of us
+were dashed to pieces, and some drowned; and those who were left got
+away to Eldey, and the dovekies tell me they are all dead now, and that
+another Gairfowlskerry has risen out of the sea close to the old one,
+but that it is such a poor flat place that it is not safe to live on:
+and so here I am left alone."
+
+This was the Gairfowl's story, and, strange as it may seem, it is every
+word of it true.
+
+"If you only had had wings!" said Tom; "then you might all have flown
+away too."
+
+"Yes, young gentleman: and if people are not gentlemen and ladies, and
+forget that _noblesse oblige_, they will find it as easy to get on in
+the world as other people who don't care what they do. Why, if I had not
+recollected that _noblesse oblige_, I should not have been all alone
+now." And the poor old lady sighed.
+
+"How was that, ma'am?"
+
+"Why, my dear, a gentleman came hither with me, and after we had been
+here some time, he wanted to marry--in fact, he actually proposed to me.
+Well, I can't blame him; I was young, and very handsome then, I don't
+deny: but you see, I could not hear of such a thing, because he was my
+deceased sister's husband, you see?"
+
+"Of course not, ma'am," said Tom; though, of course, he knew nothing
+about it. "She was very much diseased, I suppose?"
+
+"You do not understand me, my dear. I mean, that being a lady, and with
+right and honourable feelings, as our house always has had, I felt it my
+duty to snub him, and howk him, and peck him continually, to keep him at
+his proper distance; and, to tell the truth, I once pecked him a little
+too hard, poor fellow, and he tumbled backwards off the rock,
+and--really, it was very unfortunate, but it was not my fault--a shark
+coming by saw him flapping, and snapped him up. And since then I have
+lived all alone--
+
+          _'With a fal-lal-la-lady.'_
+
+And soon I shall be gone, my little dear, and nobody will miss me; and
+then the poor stone will be left all alone."
+
+"But, please, which is the way to Shiny Wall?" said Tom.
+
+"Oh, you must go, my little dear--you must go. Let me see--I am
+sure--that is--really, my poor old brains are getting quite puzzled. Do
+you know, my little dear, I am afraid, if you want to know, you must
+ask some of these vulgar birds about, for I have quite forgotten."
+
+And the poor old Gairfowl began to cry tears of pure oil; and Tom was
+quite sorry for her; and for himself too, for he was at his wit's end
+whom to ask.
+
+But by there came a flock of petrels, who are Mother Carey's own
+chickens; and Tom thought them much prettier than Lady Gairfowl, and so
+perhaps they were; for Mother Carey had had a great deal of fresh
+experience between the time that she invented the Gairfowl and the time
+that she invented them. They flitted along like a flock of black
+swallows, and hopped and skipped from wave to wave, lifting up their
+little feet behind them so daintily, and whistling to each other so
+tenderly, that Tom fell in love with them at once, and called them to
+know the way to Shiny Wall.
+
+"Shiny Wall? Do you want Shiny Wall? Then come with us, and we will show
+you. We are Mother Carey's own chickens, and she sends us out over all
+the seas, to show the good birds the way home."
+
+Tom was delighted, and swam off to them, after he had made his bow to
+the Gairfowl. But she would not return his bow: but held herself bolt
+upright, and wept tears of oil as she sang:
+
+          "_And so the poor stone was left all alone;
+                With a fal-lal-la-lady._"
+
+But she was wrong there; for the stone was not left all alone: and the
+next time that Tom goes by it, he will see a sight worth seeing.
+
+The old Gairfowl is gone already: but there are better things come in
+her place; and when Tom comes he will see the fishing-smacks anchored
+there in hundreds, from Scotland, and from Ireland, and from the
+Orkneys, and the Shetlands, and from all the Northern ports, full of the
+children of the old Norse Vikings, the masters of the sea. And the men
+will be hauling in the great cod by thousands, till their hands are sore
+from the lines; and they will be making cod-liver oil and guano, and
+salting down the fish; and there will be a man-of-war steamer there to
+protect them, and a lighthouse to show them the way; and you and I,
+perhaps, shall go some day to the Allalonestone to the great summer
+sea-fair, and dredge strange creatures such as man never saw before; and
+we shall hear the sailors boast that it is not the worst jewel in Queen
+Victoria's crown, for there are eighty miles of codbank, and food for
+all the poor folk in the land. That is what Tom will see, and perhaps
+you and I shall see it too. And then we shall not be sorry because we
+cannot get a Gairfowl to stuff, much less find gairfowl enough to drive
+them into stone pens and slaughter them, as the old Norsemen did, or
+drive them on board along a plank till the ship was victualled with
+them, as the old English and French rovers used to do, of whom dear old
+Hakluyt tells: but we shall remember what Mr. Tennyson says: how
+
+          "_The old order changeth, giving place to the new,
+            And God fulfils himself in many ways._"
+
+And now Tom was all agog to start for Shiny Wall; but the petrels said
+no. They must go first to Allfowlsness, and wait there for the great
+gathering of all the sea-birds, before they start for their summer
+breeding-places far away in the Northern Isles; and there they would be
+sure to find some birds which were going to Shiny Wall: but where
+Allfowlsness was, he must promise never to tell, lest men should go
+there and shoot the birds, and stuff them, and put them into stupid
+museums, instead of leaving them to play and breed and work in Mother
+Carey's water-garden, where they ought to be.
+
+So where Allfowlsness is nobody must know; and all that is to be said
+about it is, that Tom waited there many days; and as he waited, he saw a
+very curious sight. On the rabbit burrows on the shore there gathered
+hundreds and hundreds of hoodie-crows, such as you see in
+Cambridgeshire. And they made such a noise, that Tom came on shore and
+went up to see what was the matter.
+
+And there he found them holding their great caucus, which they hold
+every year in the North; and all their stump-orators were speechifying;
+and for a tribune, the speaker stood on an old sheep's skull.
+
+And they cawed and cawed, and boasted of all the clever things they had
+done; how many lambs' eyes they had picked out, and how many dead
+bullocks they had eaten, and how many young grouse they had swallowed
+whole, and how many grouse-eggs they had flown away with, stuck on the
+point of their bills, which is the hoodie-crow's particularly clever
+feat, of which he is as proud as a gipsy is of doing the hokanybaro; and
+what that is, I won't tell you.
+
+And at last they brought out the prettiest, neatest young lady-crow that
+ever was seen, and set her in the middle, and all began abusing and
+vilifying, and rating, and bullyragging at her, because she had stolen
+no grouse-eggs, and had actually dared to say that she would not steal
+any. So she was to be tried publicly by their laws (for the hoodies
+always try some offenders in their great yearly parliament). And there
+she stood in the middle, in her black gown and grey hood, looking as
+meek and as neat as a Quakeress, and they all bawled at her at once--
+
+And it was in vain that she pleaded--
+
+          _That she did not like grouse-eggs;_
+
+          _That she could get her living very well without
+          them;_
+
+          _That she was afraid to eat them, for fear of the
+          gamekeepers;_
+
+          _That she had not the heart to eat them, because
+          the grouse were such pretty, kind, jolly birds;_
+
+          _And a dozen reasons more._
+
+For all the other scaul-crows set upon her, and pecked her to death
+there and then, before Tom could come to help her; and then flew away,
+very proud of what they had done.
+
+[Illustration: "The most beautiful bird of paradise."--_P. 210._]
+
+Now, was not this a scandalous transaction?
+
+But they are true republicans, these hoodies, who do every one just what
+he likes, and make other people do so too; so that, for any freedom of
+speech, thought, or action, which is allowed among them, they might as
+well be American citizens of the new school.
+
+But the fairies took the good crow, and gave her nine new sets of
+feathers running, and turned her at last into the most beautiful bird of
+paradise with a green velvet suit and a long tail, and sent her to eat
+fruit in the Spice Islands, where cloves and nutmegs grow.
+
+And Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid settled her account with the wicked hoodies.
+For, as they flew away, what should they find but a nasty dead dog?--on
+which they all set to work, pecking and gobbling and cawing and
+quarrelling to their hearts' content. But the moment afterwards, they
+all threw up their bills into the air, and gave one screech; and then
+turned head over heels backward, and fell down dead, one hundred and
+twenty-three of them at once. For why? The fairy had told the gamekeeper
+in a dream, to fill the dead dog full of strychnine; and so he did.
+
+And after a while the birds began to gather at Allfowlsness, in
+thousands and tens of thousands, blackening all the air; swans and brant
+geese, harlequins and eiders, harolds and garganeys, smews and
+goosanders, divers and loons, grebes and dovekies, auks and
+razor-bills, gannets and petrels, skuas and terns, with gulls beyond all
+naming or numbering; and they paddled and washed and splashed and combed
+and brushed themselves on the sand, till the shore was white with
+feathers; and they quacked and clucked and gabbled and chattered and
+screamed and whooped as they talked over matters with their friends, and
+settled where they were to go and breed that summer, till you might have
+heard them ten miles off; and lucky it was for them that there was no
+one to hear them but the old keeper, who lived all alone upon the Ness,
+in a turf hut thatched with heather and fringed round with great stones
+slung across the roof by bent-ropes, lest the winter gales should blow
+the hut right away. But he never minded the birds nor hurt them, because
+they were not in season; indeed, he minded but two things in the whole
+world, and those were, his Bible and his grouse; for he was as good an
+old Scotchman as ever knit stockings on a winter's night: only, when all
+the birds were going, he toddled out, and took off his cap to them, and
+wished them a merry journey and a safe return; and then gathered up all
+the feathers which they had left, and cleaned them to sell down south,
+and make feather-beds for stuffy people to lie on.
+
+Then the petrels asked this bird and that whether they would take Tom to
+Shiny Wall: but one set was going to Sutherland, and one to the
+Shetlands, and one to Norway, and one to Spitzbergen, and one to
+Iceland, and one to Greenland: but none would go to Shiny Wall. So the
+good-natured petrels said that they would show him part of the way
+themselves, but they were only going as far as Jan Mayen's Land; and
+after that he must shift for himself.
+
+And then all the birds rose up, and streamed away in long black lines,
+north, and north-east, and north-west, across the bright blue summer
+sky; and their cry was like ten thousand packs of hounds, and ten
+thousand peals of bells. Only the puffins stayed behind, and killed the
+young rabbits, and laid their eggs in the rabbit-burrows; which was
+rough practice, certainly; but a man must see to his own family.
+
+And, as Tom and the petrels went north-eastward, it began to blow right
+hard; for the old gentleman in the grey great-coat, who looks after the
+big copper boiler, in the gulf of Mexico, had got behindhand with his
+work; so Mother Carey had sent an electric message to him for more
+steam; and now the steam was coming, as much in an hour as ought to have
+come in a week, puffing and roaring and swishing and swirling, till you
+could not see where the sky ended and the sea began. But Tom and the
+petrels never cared, for the gale was right abaft, and away they went
+over the crests of the billows, as merry as so many flying-fish.
+
+And at last they saw an ugly sight--the black side of a great ship,
+water-logged in the trough of the sea. Her funnel and her masts were
+overboard, and swayed and surged under her lee; her decks were swept as
+clean as a barn floor, and there was no living soul on board.
+
+The petrels flew up to her, and wailed round her; for they were very
+sorry indeed, and also they expected to find some salt pork; and Tom
+scrambled on board of her and looked round, frightened and sad.
+
+And there, in a little cot, lashed tight under the bulwark, lay a baby
+fast asleep; the very same baby, Tom saw at once, which he had seen in
+the singing lady's arms.
+
+He went up to it, and wanted to wake it; but behold, from under the cot
+out jumped a little black and tan terrier dog, and began barking and
+snapping at Tom, and would not let him touch the cot.
+
+Tom knew the dog's teeth could not hurt him: but at least it could shove
+him away, and did; and he and the dog fought and struggled, for he
+wanted to help the baby, and did not want to throw the poor dog
+overboard: but as they were struggling, there came a tall green sea, and
+walked in over the weather side of the ship, and swept them all into the
+waves.
+
+"Oh, the baby, the baby!" screamed Tom: but the next moment he did not
+scream at all; for he saw the cot settling down through the green water,
+with the baby, smiling in it, fast asleep; and he saw the fairies come
+up from below, and carry baby and cradle gently down in their soft arms;
+and then he knew it was all right, and that there would be a new
+water-baby in St. Brandan's Isle.
+
+And the poor little dog?
+
+Why, after he had kicked and coughed a little, he sneezed so hard, that
+he sneezed himself clean out of his skin, and turned into a water-dog,
+and jumped and danced round Tom, and ran over the crests of the waves,
+and snapped at the jelly-fish and the mackerel, and followed Tom the
+whole way to the Other-end-of-Nowhere.
+
+Then they went on again, till they began to see the peak of Jan Mayen's
+Land, standing up like a white sugar-loaf, two miles above the clouds.
+
+And there they fell in with a whole flock of mollymocks, who were
+feeding on a dead whale.
+
+"These are the fellows to show you the way," said Mother Carey's
+chickens; "we cannot help you farther north. We don't like to get among
+the ice pack, for fear it should nip our toes: but the mollys dare fly
+anywhere."
+
+So the petrels called to the mollys: but they were so busy and greedy,
+gobbling and pecking and spluttering and fighting over the blubber, that
+they did not take the least notice.
+
+"Come, come," said the petrels, "you lazy greedy lubbers, this young
+gentleman is going to Mother Carey, and if you don't attend on him, you
+won't earn your discharge from her, you know."
+
+"Greedy we are," says a great fat old molly, "but lazy we ain't; and, as
+for lubbers, we're no more lubbers than you. Let's have a look at the
+lad."
+
+And he flapped right into Tom's face, and stared at him in the most
+impudent way (for the mollys are audacious fellows, as all whalers
+know), and then asked him where he hailed from, and what land he sighted
+last.
+
+And, when Tom told him, he seemed pleased, and said he was a good
+plucked one to have got so far.
+
+"Come along, lads," he said to the rest, "and give this little chap a
+cast over the pack, for Mother Carey's sake. We've eaten blubber enough
+for to-day, and we'll e'en work out a bit of our time by helping the
+lad."
+
+So the mollys took Tom up on their backs, and flew off with him,
+laughing and joking--and oh, how they did smell of train oil!
+
+"Who are you, you jolly birds?" asked Tom.
+
+"We are the spirits of the old Greenland skippers (as every sailor
+knows), who hunted here, right whales and horse-whales, full hundreds of
+years agone. But, because we were saucy and greedy, we were all turned
+into mollys, to eat whale's blubber all our days. But lubbers we are
+none, and could sail a ship now against any man in the North seas,
+though we don't hold with this new-fangled steam. And it's a shame of
+those black imps of petrels to call us so; but because they're her
+grace's pets, they think they may say anything they like."
+
+"And who are you?" asked Tom of him, for he saw that he was the king of
+all the birds.
+
+"My name is Hendrick Hudson, and a right good skipper was I; and my
+name will last to the world's end, in spite of all the wrong I did. For
+I discovered Hudson River, and I named Hudson's Bay; and many have come
+in my wake that dared not have shown me the way. But I was a hard man in
+my time, that's truth, and stole the poor Indians off the coast of
+Maine, and sold them for slaves down in Virginia; and at last I was so
+cruel to my sailors, here in these very seas, that they set me adrift in
+an open boat, and I never was heard of more. So now I'm the king of all
+mollys, till I've worked out my time."
+
+And now they came to the edge of the pack, and beyond it they could see
+Shiny Wall looming, through mist, and snow, and storm. But the pack
+rolled horribly upon the swell, and the ice giants fought and roared,
+and leapt upon each other's backs, and ground each other to powder, so
+that Tom was afraid to venture among them, lest he should be ground to
+powder too. And he was the more afraid, when he saw lying among the ice
+pack the wrecks of many a gallant ship; some with masts and yards all
+standing, some with the seamen frozen fast on board. Alas, alas, for
+them! They were all true English hearts; and they came to their end like
+good knights-errant, in searching for the white gate that never was
+opened yet.
+
+But the good mollys took Tom and his dog up, and flew with them safe
+over the pack and the roaring ice giants, and set them down at the foot
+of Shiny Wall.
+
+"And where is the gate?" asked Tom.
+
+"There is no gate," said the mollys.
+
+"No gate?" cried Tom, aghast.
+
+"None; never a crack of one, and that's the whole of the secret, as
+better fellows, lad, than you have found to their cost; and if there had
+been, they'd have killed by now every right whale that swims the sea."
+
+"What am I to do, then?"
+
+"Dive under the floe, to be sure, if you have pluck."
+
+"I've not come so far to turn now," said Tom; "so here goes for a
+header."
+
+"A lucky voyage to you, lad," said the mollys; "we knew you were one of
+the right sort. So good-bye."
+
+"Why don't you come too?" asked Tom.
+
+But the mollys only wailed sadly, "We can't go yet, we can't go yet,"
+and flew away over the pack.
+
+So Tom dived under the great white gate which never was opened yet, and
+went on in black darkness, at the bottom of the sea, for seven days and
+seven nights. And yet he was not a bit frightened. Why should he be? He
+was a brave English lad, whose business is to go out and see all the
+world.
+
+And at last he saw the light, and clear clear water overhead; and up he
+came a thousand fathoms, among clouds of sea-moths, which fluttered
+round his head. There were moths with pink heads and wings and opal
+bodies, that flapped about slowly; moths with brown wings that flapped
+about quickly; yellow shrimps that hopped and skipped most quickly of
+all; and jellies of all the colours in the world, that neither hopped
+nor skipped, but only dawdled and yawned, and would not get out of his
+way. The dog snapped at them till his jaws were tired; but Tom hardly
+minded them at all, he was so eager to get to the top of the water, and
+see the pool where the good whales go.
+
+And a very large pool it was, miles and miles across, though the air was
+so clear that the ice cliffs on the opposite side looked as if they were
+close at hand. All round it the ice cliffs rose, in walls and spires and
+battlements, and caves and bridges, and stories and galleries, in which
+the ice-fairies live, and drive away the storms and clouds, that Mother
+Carey's pool may lie calm from year's end to year's end. And the sun
+acted policeman, and walked round outside every day, peeping just over
+the top of the ice wall, to see that all went right; and now and then he
+played conjuring tricks, or had an exhibition of fireworks, to amuse the
+ice-fairies. For he would make himself into four or five suns at once,
+or paint the sky with rings and crosses and crescents of white fire, and
+stick himself in the middle of them, and wink at the fairies; and I
+daresay they were very much amused; for anything's fun in the country.
+
+[Illustration: "That's Mother Carey."--_P. 219._]
+
+And there the good whales lay, the happy sleepy beasts, upon the still
+oily sea. They were all right whales, you must know, and finners, and
+razor-backs, and bottle-noses, and spotted sea-unicorns with long
+ivory horns. But the sperm whales are such raging, ramping, roaring,
+rumbustious fellows, that, if Mother Carey let them in, there would be
+no more peace in Peacepool. So she packs them away in a great pond by
+themselves at the South Pole, two hundred and sixty-three miles
+south-south-east of Mount Erebus, the great volcano in the ice; and
+there they butt each other with their ugly noses, day and night from
+year's end to year's end.
+
+But here there were only good quiet beasts, lying about like the black
+hulls of sloops, and blowing every now and then jets of white steam, or
+sculling round with their huge mouths open, for the sea-moths to swim
+down their throats. There were no threshers there to thresh their poor
+old backs, or sword-fish to stab their stomachs, or saw-fish to rip them
+up, or ice-sharks to bite lumps out of their sides, or whalers to
+harpoon and lance them. They were quite safe and happy there; and all
+they had to do was to wait quietly in Peacepool, till Mother Carey sent
+for them to make them out of old beasts into new.
+
+Tom swam up to the nearest whale, and asked the way to Mother Carey.
+
+"There she sits in the middle," said the whale.
+
+Tom looked; but he could see nothing in the middle of the pool, but one
+peaked iceberg: and he said so.
+
+"That's Mother Carey," said the whale, "as you will find when you get to
+her. There she sits making old beasts into new all the year round."
+
+"How does she do that?"
+
+"That's her concern, not mine," said the old whale; and yawned so wide
+(for he was very large) that there swam into his mouth 943 sea-moths,
+13,846 jelly-fish no bigger than pins' heads, a string of salpae nine
+yards long, and forty-three little ice-crabs, who gave each other a
+parting pinch all round, tucked their legs under their stomachs, and
+determined to die decently, like Julius Caesar.
+
+"I suppose," said Tom, "she cuts up a great whale like you into a whole
+shoal of porpoises?"
+
+At which the old whale laughed so violently that he coughed up all the
+creatures; who swam away again very thankful at having escaped out of
+that terrible whalebone net of his, from which bourne no traveller
+returns; and Tom went on to the iceberg, wondering.
+
+And, when he came near it, it took the form of the grandest old lady he
+had ever seen--a white marble lady, sitting on a white marble throne.
+And from the foot of the throne there swum away, out and out into the
+sea, millions of new-born creatures, of more shapes and colours than man
+ever dreamed. And they were Mother Carey's children, whom she makes out
+of the sea-water all day long.
+
+He expected, of course--like some grown people who ought to know
+better--to find her snipping, piecing, fitting, stitching, cobbling,
+basting, filing, planing, hammering, turning, polishing, moulding,
+measuring, chiselling, clipping, and so forth, as men do when they go
+to work to make anything.
+
+But, instead of that, she sat quite still with her chin upon her hand,
+looking down into the sea with two great grand blue eyes, as blue as the
+sea itself. Her hair was as white as the snow--for she was very very
+old--in fact, as old as anything which you are likely to come across,
+except the difference between right and wrong.
+
+And, when she saw Tom, she looked at him very kindly.
+
+"What do you want, my little man? It is long since I have seen a
+water-baby here."
+
+Tom told her his errand, and asked the way to the Other-end-of-Nowhere.
+
+"You ought to know yourself, for you have been there already."
+
+"Have I, ma'am? I'm sure I forget all about it."
+
+"Then look at me."
+
+And, as Tom looked into her great blue eyes, he recollected the way
+perfectly.
+
+Now, was not that strange?
+
+"Thank you, ma'am," said Tom. "Then I won't trouble your ladyship any
+more; I hear you are very busy."
+
+"I am never more busy than I am now," she said, without stirring a
+finger.
+
+"I heard, ma'am, that you were always making new beasts out of old."
+
+"So people fancy. But I am not going to trouble myself to make things,
+my little dear. I sit here and make them make themselves."
+
+"You are a clever fairy, indeed," thought Tom. And he was quite right.
+
+That is a grand trick of good old Mother Carey's, and a grand answer,
+which she has had occasion to make several times to impertinent people.
+
+There was once, for instance, a fairy who was so clever that she found
+out how to make butterflies. I don't mean sham ones; no: but real live
+ones, which would fly, and eat, and lay eggs, and do everything that
+they ought; and she was so proud of her skill that she went flying
+straight off to the North Pole, to boast to Mother Carey how she could
+make butterflies.
+
+But Mother Carey laughed.
+
+"Know, silly child," she said, "that any one can make things, if they
+will take time and trouble enough: but it is not every one who, like me,
+can make things make themselves."
+
+But people do not yet believe that Mother Carey is as clever as all that
+comes to; and they will not till they, too, go the journey to the
+Other-end-of-Nowhere.
+
+"And now, my pretty little man," said Mother Carey, "you are sure you
+know the way to the Other-end-of-Nowhere?"
+
+Tom thought; and behold, he had forgotten it utterly.
+
+"That is because you took your eyes off me."
+
+Tom looked at her again, and recollected; and then looked away, and
+forgot in an instant.
+
+"But what am I to do, ma'am? For I can't keep looking at you when I am
+somewhere else."
+
+"You must do without me, as most people have to do, for nine hundred and
+ninety-nine thousandths of their lives; and look at the dog instead; for
+he knows the way well enough, and will not forget it. Besides, you may
+meet some very queer-tempered people there, who will not let you pass
+without this passport of mine, which you must hang round your neck and
+take care of; and, of course, as the dog will always go behind you, you
+must go the whole way backward."
+
+"Backward!" cried Tom. "Then I shall not be able to see my way."
+
+"On the contrary, if you look forward, you will not see a step before
+you, and be certain to go wrong; but, if you look behind you, and watch
+carefully whatever you have passed, and especially keep your eye on the
+dog, who goes by instinct, and therefore can't go wrong, then you will
+know what is coming next, as plainly as if you saw it in a
+looking-glass."
+
+Tom was very much astonished: but he obeyed her, for he had learnt
+always to believe what the fairies told him.
+
+"So it is, my dear child," said Mother Carey; "and I will tell you a
+story, which will show you that I am perfectly right, as it is my custom
+to be.
+
+"Once on a time, there were two brothers. One was called Prometheus,
+because he always looked before him, and boasted that he was wise
+beforehand. The other was called Epimetheus, because he always looked
+behind him, and did not boast at all; but said humbly, like the
+Irishman, that he had sooner prophesy after the event.
+
+[Illustration: "Pandora and her box."--_P. 224._]
+
+"Well, Prometheus was a very clever fellow, of course, and invented all
+sorts of wonderful things. But, unfortunately, when they were set to
+work, to work was just what they would not do: wherefore very little has
+come of them, and very little is left of them; and now nobody knows what
+they were, save a few archaeological old gentlemen who scratch in queer
+corners, and find little there save Ptinum Furem, Blaptem Mortisagam,
+Acarum Horridum, and Tineam Laciniarum.
+
+"But Epimetheus was a very slow fellow, certainly, and went among men
+for a clod, and a muff, and a milksop, and a slowcoach, and a bloke, and
+a boodle, and so forth. And very little he did, for many years: but what
+he did, he never had to do over again.
+
+"And what happened at last? There came to the two brothers the most
+beautiful creature that ever was seen, Pandora by name; which means, All
+the gifts of the Gods. But because she had a strange box in her hand,
+this fanciful, forecasting, suspicious, prudential, theoretical,
+deductive, prophesying Prometheus, who was always settling what was
+going to happen, would have nothing to do with pretty Pandora and her
+box.
+
+"But Epimetheus took her and it, as he took everything that came; and
+married her for better for worse, as every man ought, whenever he has
+even the chance of a good wife. And they opened the box between them,
+of course, to see what was inside: for, else, of what possible use could
+it have been to them?
+
+"And out flew all the ills which flesh is heir to; all the children of
+the four great bogies, Self-will, Ignorance, Fear, and Dirt--for
+instance:
+
+          _Measles_,              _Famines_,
+          _Monks_,                _Quacks_,
+          _Scarlatina_,           _Unpaid bills_,
+          _Idols_,                _Tight stays_,
+          _Hooping-coughs_,       _Potatoes_,
+          _Popes_,                _Bad Wine_,
+          _Wars_,                 _Despots_,
+          _Peacemongers_,         _Demagogues_,
+          _And, worst of all, Naughty Boys and Girls._
+
+But one thing remained at the bottom of the box, and that was, Hope.
+
+"So Epimetheus got a great deal of trouble, as most men do in this
+world: but he got the three best things in the world into the bargain--a
+good wife, and experience, and hope: while Prometheus had just as much
+trouble, and a great deal more (as you will hear), of his own making;
+with nothing beside, save fancies spun out of his own brain, as a spider
+spins her web out of her stomach.
+
+"And Prometheus kept on looking before him so far ahead, that as he was
+running about with a box of lucifers (which were the only useful things
+he ever invented, and do as much harm as good), he trod on his own nose,
+and tumbled down (as most deductive philosophers do), whereby he set
+the Thames on fire; and they have hardly put it out again yet. So he had
+to be chained to the top of a mountain, with a vulture by him to give
+him a peck whenever he stirred, lest he should turn the whole world
+upside down with his prophecies and his theories.
+
+"But stupid old Epimetheus went working and grubbing on, with the help
+of his wife Pandora, always looking behind him to see what had happened,
+till he really learnt to know now and then what would happen next; and
+understood so well which side his bread was buttered, and which way the
+cat jumped, that he began to make things which would work, and go on
+working, too; to till and drain the ground, and to make looms, and
+ships, and railroads, and steam ploughs, and electric telegraphs, and
+all the things which you see in the Great Exhibition; and to foretell
+famine, and bad weather, and the price of stocks and (what is hardest of
+all) the next vagary of the great idol Whirligig, which some call Public
+Opinion; till at last he grew as rich as a Jew, and as fat as a farmer,
+and people thought twice before they meddled with him, but only once
+before they asked him to help them; for, because he earned his money
+well, he could afford to spend it well likewise.
+
+"And his children are the men of science, who get good lasting work done
+in the world; but the children of Prometheus are the fanatics, and the
+theorists, and the bigots, and the bores, and the noisy windy people,
+who go telling silly folk what will happen, instead of looking to see
+what has happened already."
+
+Now, was not Mother Carey's a wonderful story? And, I am happy to say,
+Tom believed it every word.
+
+For so it happened to Tom likewise. He was very sorely tried; for
+though, by keeping the dog to heels (or rather to toes, for he had to
+walk backward), he could see pretty well which way the dog was hunting,
+yet it was much slower work to go backwards than to go forwards. But,
+what was more trying still, no sooner had he got out of Peacepool, than
+there came running to him all the conjurers, fortune-tellers,
+astrologers, prophesiers, projectors, prestigiators, as many as were in
+those parts (and there are too many of them everywhere), Old Mother
+Shipton on her broomstick, with Merlin, Thomas the Rhymer, Gerbertus,
+Rabanus Maurus, Nostradamus, Zadkiel, Raphael, Moore, Old Nixon, and a
+good many in black coats and white ties who might have known better,
+considering in what century they were born, all bawling and screaming at
+him, "Look a-head, only look a-head; and we will show you what man never
+saw before, and right away to the end of the world!"
+
+But I am proud to say that, though Tom had not been to Cambridge--for,
+if he had, he would have certainly been senior wrangler--he was such a
+little dogged, hard, gnarly, foursquare brick of an English boy, that he
+never turned his head round once all the way from Peacepool to the
+Other-end-of-Nowhere: but kept his eye on the dog, and let him pick out
+the scent, hot or cold, straight or crooked, wet or dry, up hill or down
+dale; by which means he never made a single mistake, and saw all the
+wonderful and hitherto by-no-mortal-man-imagined things, which it is my
+duty to relate to you in the next chapter.
+
+          "Come to me, O ye children!
+             For I hear you at your play;
+           And the questions that perplexed me
+             Have vanished quite away.
+
+          "Ye open the Eastern windows,
+             That look towards the sun,
+           Where thoughts are singing swallows,
+             And the brooks of morning run.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+          "For what are all our contrivings
+             And the wisdom of our books,
+           When compared with your caresses,
+             And the gladness of your looks?
+
+          "Ye are better than all the ballads
+             That ever were sung or said;
+           For ye are living poems,
+             And all the rest are dead."--LONGFELLOW.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII AND LAST
+
+
+HERE begins the never-to-be-too-much-studied account of the
+nine-hundred-and-ninety-ninth part of the wonderful things which Tom saw
+on his journey to the Other-end-of-Nowhere; which all good little
+children are requested to read; that, if ever they get to the
+Other-end-of-Nowhere, as they may very probably do, they may not burst
+out laughing, or try to run away, or do any other silly vulgar thing
+which may offend Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid.
+
+Now, as soon as Tom had left Peacepool, he came to the white lap of the
+great sea-mother, ten thousand fathoms deep; where she makes world-pap
+all day long, for the steam-giants to knead, and the fire-giants to
+bake, till it has risen and hardened into mountain-loaves and
+island-cakes.
+
+And there Tom was very near being kneaded up in the world-pap, and
+turned into a fossil water-baby; which would have astonished the
+Geological Society of New Zealand some hundreds of thousands of years
+hence.
+
+For, as he walked along in the silence of the sea-twilight, on the soft
+white ocean floor, he was aware of a hissing, and a roaring, and a
+thumping, and a pumping, as of all the steam-engines in the world at
+once. And, when he came near, the water grew boiling-hot; not that that
+hurt him in the least: but it also grew as foul as gruel; and every
+moment he stumbled over dead shells, and fish, and sharks, and seals,
+and whales, which had been killed by the hot water.
+
+And at last he came to the great sea-serpent himself, lying dead at the
+bottom; and as he was too thick to scramble over, Tom had to walk round
+him three-quarters of a mile and more, which put him out of his path
+sadly; and, when he had got round, he came to the place called Stop. And
+there he stopped, and just in time.
+
+For he was on the edge of a vast hole in the bottom of the sea, up which
+was rushing and roaring clear steam enough to work all the engines in
+the world at once; so clear, indeed, that it was quite light at moments;
+and Tom could see almost up to the top of the water above, and down
+below into the pit for nobody knows how far.
+
+But, as soon as he bent his head over the edge, he got such a rap on the
+nose from pebbles, that he jumped back again; for the steam, as it
+rushed up, rasped away the sides of the hole, and hurled it up into the
+sea in a shower of mud and gravel and ashes; and then it spread all
+around, and sank again, and covered in the dead fish so fast, that
+before Tom had stood there five minutes he was buried in silt up to his
+ankles, and began to be afraid that he should have been buried alive.
+
+And perhaps he would have been, but that while he was thinking, the
+whole piece of ground on which he stood was torn off and blown upwards,
+and away flew Tom a mile up through the sea, wondering what was coming
+next.
+
+At last he stopped--thump! and found himself tight in the legs of the
+most wonderful bogy which he had ever seen.
+
+It had I don't know how many wings, as big as the sails of a windmill,
+and spread out in a ring like them; and with them it hovered over the
+steam which rushed up, as a ball hovers over the top of a fountain. And
+for every wing above it had a leg below, with a claw like a comb at the
+tip, and a nostril at the root; and in the middle it had no stomach and
+one eye; and as for its mouth, that was all on one side, as the
+madreporiform tubercle in a star-fish is. Well, it was a very strange
+beast; but no stranger than some dozens which you may see.
+
+"What do you want here," it cried quite peevishly, "getting in my way?"
+and it tried to drop Tom: but he held on tight to its claws, thinking
+himself safer where he was.
+
+So Tom told him who he was, and what his errand was. And the thing
+winked its one eye, and sneered:
+
+"I am too old to be taken in in that way. You are come after gold--I
+know you are."
+
+"Gold! What is gold?" And really Tom did not know; but: the suspicious
+old bogy would not believe him.
+
+But after a while Tom began to understand a little. For, as the vapours
+came up out of the hole, the bogy smelt them with his nostrils, and
+combed them and sorted them with his combs; and then, when they steamed
+up through them against his wings, they were changed into showers and
+streams of metal. From one wing fell gold-dust, and from another silver,
+and from another copper, and from another tin, and from another lead,
+and so on, and sank into the soft mud, into veins and cracks, and
+hardened there. Whereby it comes to pass that the rocks are full of
+metal.
+
+But, all of a sudden, somebody shut off the steam below, and the hole
+was left empty in an instant: and then down rushed the water into the
+hole, in such a whirlpool that the bogy spun round and round as fast as
+a teetotum. But that was all in his day's work, like a fair fall with
+the hounds; so all he did was to say to Tom--
+
+"Now is your time, youngster, to get down, if you are in earnest, which
+I don't believe."
+
+"You'll soon see," said Tom; and away he went, as bold as Baron
+Munchausen, and shot down the rushing cataract like a salmon at
+Ballisodare.
+
+And, when he got to the bottom, he swam till he was washed on shore safe
+upon the Other-end-of-Nowhere; and he found it, to his surprise, as most
+other people do, much more like This-End-of-Somewhere than he had been
+in the habit of expecting.
+
+And first he went through Waste-paper-land, where all the stupid books
+lie in heaps, up hill and down dale, like leaves in a winter wood; and
+there he saw people digging and grubbing among them, to make worse books
+out of bad ones, and thrashing chaff to save the dust of it; and a very
+good trade they drove thereby, especially among children.
+
+Then he went by the sea of slops, to the mountain of messes, and the
+territory of tuck, where the ground was very sticky, for it was all made
+of bad toffee (not Everton toffee, of course), and full of deep cracks
+and holes choked with wind-fallen fruit, and green gooseberries, and
+sloes, and crabs, and whinberries, and hips and haws, and all the nasty
+things which little children will eat, if they can get them. But the
+fairies hide them out of the way in that country as fast as they can,
+and very hard work they have, and of very little use it is. For as fast
+as they hide away the old trash, foolish and wicked people make fresh
+trash full of lime and poisonous paints, and actually go and steal
+receipts out of old Madame Science's big book to invent poisons for
+little children, and sell them at wakes and fairs and tuck-shops. Very
+well. Let them go on. Dr. Letheby and Dr. Hassall cannot catch them,
+though they are setting traps for them all day long. But the Fairy with
+the birch-rod will catch them all in time, and make them begin at one
+corner of their shops, and eat their way out at the other: by which time
+they will have got such stomach-aches as will cure them of poisoning
+little children.
+
+Next he saw all the little people in the world, writing all the little
+books in the world, about all the other little people in the world;
+probably because they had no great people to write about: and if the
+names of the books were not Squeeky, nor the Pump-lighter, nor the
+Narrow Narrow World, nor the Hills of the Chattermuch, nor the
+Children's Twaddeday, why then they were something else. And all the
+rest of the little people in the world read the books, and thought
+themselves each as good as the President; and perhaps they were right,
+for every one knows his own business best. But Tom thought he would
+sooner have a jolly good fairy tale, about Jack the Giant-killer or
+Beauty and the Beast, which taught him something that he didn't know
+already.
+
+And next he came to the centre of Creation (the hub, they call it
+there), which lies in latitude 42.21 deg. south, and longitude 108.56
+deg. east.
+
+And there he found all the wise people instructing mankind in the
+science of spirit-rapping, while their house was burning over their
+heads: and when Tom told them of the fire, they held an indignation
+meeting forthwith, and unanimously determined to hang Tom's dog for
+coming into their country with gunpowder in his mouth. Tom couldn't help
+saying that though they did fancy they had carried all the wit away with
+them out of Lincolnshire two hundred years ago, yet if they had had one
+such Lincolnshire nobleman among them as good old Lord Yarborough, he
+would have called for the fire-engines before he hanged other people's
+dogs. But it was of no use, and the dog was hanged: and Tom couldn't
+even have his carcase; for they had abolished the have-his-carcase act
+in that country, for fear lest when rogues fell out, honest men should
+come by their own. And so they would have succeeded perfectly, as they
+always do, only that (as they also always do) they failed in one little
+particular, viz. that the dog would not die, being a water-dog, but bit
+their fingers so abominably that they were forced to let him go, and Tom
+likewise, as British subjects. Whereon they recommenced rapping for the
+spirits of their fathers; and very much astonished the poor old spirits
+were when they came, and saw how, according to the laws of Mrs.
+Bedonebyasyoudid, their descendants had weakened their constitution by
+hard living.
+
+Then came Tom to the Island of Polupragmosyne (which some call Rogues'
+Harbour; but they are wrong; for that is in the middle of Bramshill
+Bushes, and the county police have cleared it out long ago). There every
+one knows his neighbour's business better than his own; and a very noisy
+place it is, as might be expected, considering that all the inhabitants
+are _ex officio_ on the wrong side of the house in the "Parliament of
+Man, and the Federation of the World"; and are always making wry mouths,
+and crying that the fairies' grapes were sour.
+
+There Tom saw ploughs drawing horses, nails driving hammers, birds'
+nests taking boys, books making authors, bulls keeping china-shops,
+monkeys shaving cats, dead dogs drilling live lions, blind brigadiers
+shelfed as principals of colleges, play-actors not in the least shelfed
+as popular preachers; and, in short, every one set to do something which
+he had not learnt, because in what he had learnt, or pretended to learn,
+he had failed.
+
+There stands the Pantheon of the Great Unsuccessful, from the builders
+of the Tower of Babel to those of the Trafalgar Fountains; in which
+politicians lecture on the constitutions which ought to have marched,
+conspirators on the revolutions which ought to have succeeded,
+economists on the schemes which ought to have made every one's fortune,
+and projectors on the discoveries which ought to have set the Thames on
+fire. There cobblers lecture on orthopedy (whatsoever that may be)
+because they cannot sell their shoes; and poets on AEsthetics (whatsoever
+that may be) because they cannot sell their poetry. There philosophers
+demonstrate that England would be the freest and richest country in the
+world, if she would only turn Papist again; penny-a-liners abuse the
+_Times_, because they have not wit enough to get on its staff; and young
+ladies walk about with lockets of Charles the First's hair (or of
+somebody else's, when the Jews' genuine stock is used up), inscribed
+with the neat and appropriate legend--which indeed is popular through
+all that land, and which, I hope, you will learn to translate in due
+time and to perpend likewise:--
+
+          "_Victrix causa diis placuit, sed victa puellis._"
+
+When he got into the middle of the town, they all set on him at once,
+to show him his way; or rather, to show him that he did not know his
+way; for as for asking him what way he wanted to go, no one ever thought
+of that.
+
+But one pulled him hither, and another poked him thither, and a third
+cried--
+
+"You mustn't go west, I tell you; it is destruction to go west."
+
+"But I am not going west, as you may see," said Tom.
+
+And another, "The east lies here, my dear; I assure you this is the
+east."
+
+"But I don't want to go east," said Tom.
+
+"Well, then, at all events, whichever way you are going, you are going
+wrong," cried they all with one voice--which was the only thing which
+they ever agreed about; and all pointed at once to all the
+thirty-and-two points of the compass, till Tom thought all the
+sign-posts in England had got together, and fallen fighting.
+
+And whether he would have ever escaped out of the town, it is hard to
+say, if the dog had not taken it into his head that they were going to
+pull his master in pieces, and tackled them so sharply about the
+gastrocnemius muscle, that he gave them some business of their own to
+think of at last; and while they were rubbing their bitten calves, Tom
+and the dog got safe away.
+
+On the borders of that island he found Gotham, where the wise men live;
+the same who dragged the pond because the moon had fallen into it, and
+planted a hedge round the cuckoo, to keep spring all the year. And he
+found them bricking up the town gate, because it was so wide that little
+folks could not get through. And, when he asked why, they told him they
+were expanding their liturgy. So he went on; for it was no business of
+his: only he could not help saying that in his country, if the kitten
+could not get in at the same hole as the cat, she might stay outside and
+mew.
+
+But he saw the end of such fellows, when he came to the island of the
+Golden Asses, where nothing but thistles grow. For there they were all
+turned into mokes with ears a yard long, for meddling with matters which
+they do not understand, as Lucius did in the story. And like him, mokes
+they must remain, till, by the laws of development, the thistles develop
+into roses. Till then, they must comfort themselves with the thought,
+that the longer their ears are, the thicker their hides; and so a good
+beating don't hurt them.
+
+Then came Tom to the great land of Hearsay, in which are no less than
+thirty and odd kings, beside half a dozen Republics, and perhaps more by
+next mail.
+
+And there he fell in with a deep, dark, deadly, and destructive war,
+waged by the princes and potentates of those parts, both spiritual and
+temporal, against what do you think? One thing I am sure of. That unless
+I told you, you would never know; nor how they waged that war either;
+for all their strategy and art military consisted in the safe and easy
+process of stopping their ears and screaming, "Oh, don't tell us!" and
+then running away.
+
+So when Tom came into that land, he found them all, high and low, man,
+woman, and child, running for their lives day and night continually, and
+entreating not to be told they didn't know what: only the land being an
+island, and they having a dislike to the water (being a musty lot for
+the most part), they ran round and round the shore for ever, which (as
+the island was exactly of the same circumference as the planet on which
+we have the honour of living) was hard work, especially to those who had
+business to look after. But before them, as bandmaster and fugleman, ran
+a gentleman shearing a pig; the melodious strains of which animal led
+them for ever, if not to conquest, still to flight; and kept up their
+spirits mightily with the thought that they would at least have the
+pig's wool for their pains.
+
+And running after them, day and night, came such a poor, lean, seedy,
+hard-worked old giant, as ought to have been cockered up, and had a good
+dinner given him, and a good wife found him, and been set to play with
+little children; and then he would have been a very presentable old
+fellow after all; for he had a heart, though it was considerably
+overgrown with brains.
+
+He was made up principally of fish bones and parchment, put together
+with wire and Canada balsam; and smelt strongly of spirits, though he
+never drank anything but water: but spirits he used somehow, there was
+no denying. He had a great pair of spectacles on his nose, and a
+butterfly-net in one hand, and a geological hammer in the other; and
+was hung all over with pockets, full of collecting boxes, bottles,
+microscopes, telescopes, barometers, ordnance maps, scalpels, forceps,
+photographic apparatus, and all other tackle for finding out everything
+about everything, and a little more too. And, most strange of all, he
+was running not forwards but backwards, as fast as he could.
+
+Away all the good folks ran from him, except Tom, who stood his ground
+and dodged between his legs; and the giant, when he had passed him,
+looked down, and cried, as if he was quite pleased and comforted,--
+
+"What? who are you? And you actually don't run away, like all the rest?"
+But he had to take his spectacles off, Tom remarked, in order to see him
+plainly.
+
+Tom told him who he was; and the giant pulled out a bottle and a cork
+instantly, to collect him with.
+
+But Tom was too sharp for that, and dodged between his legs and in front
+of him; and then the giant could not see him at all.
+
+"No, no, no!" said Tom, "I've not been round the world, and through the
+world, and up to Mother Carey's haven, beside being caught in a net and
+called a Holothurian and a Cephalopod, to be bottled up by any old giant
+like you."
+
+And when the giant understood what a great traveller Tom had been, he
+made a truce with him at once, and would have kept him there to this day
+to pick his brains, so delighted was he at finding any one to tell him
+what he did not know before.
+
+"Ah, you lucky little dog!" said he at last, quite simply--for he was
+the simplest, pleasantest, honestest, kindliest old Dominie Sampson of a
+giant that ever turned the world upside down without intending it--"ah,
+you lucky little dog! If I had only been where you have been, to see
+what you have seen!"
+
+"Well," said Tom, "if you want to do that, you had best put your head
+under water for a few hours, as I did, and turn into a water-baby, or
+some other baby, and then you might have a chance."
+
+"Turn into a baby, eh? If I could do that, and know what was happening
+to me for but one hour, I should know everything then, and be at rest.
+But I can't; I can't be a little child again; and I suppose if I could,
+it would be no use, because then I should know nothing about what was
+happening to me. Ah, you lucky little dog!" said the poor old giant.
+
+"But why do you run after all these poor people?" said Tom, who liked
+the giant very much.
+
+"My dear, it's they that have been running after me, father and son, for
+hundreds and hundreds of years, throwing stones at me till they have
+knocked off my spectacles fifty times, and calling me a malignant and a
+turbaned Turk, who beat a Venetian and traduced the State--goodness only
+knows what they mean, for I never read poetry--and hunting me round and
+round--though catch me they can't, for every time I go over the same
+ground, I go the faster, and grow the bigger. While all I want is to be
+friends with them, and to tell them something to their advantage, like
+Mr. Joseph Ady: only somehow they are so strangely afraid of hearing it.
+But, I suppose I am not a man of the world, and have no tact."
+
+"But why don't you turn round and tell them so?"
+
+"Because I can't. You see, I am one of the sons of Epimetheus, and must
+go backwards, if I am to go at all."
+
+"But why don't you stop, and let them come up to you?"
+
+"Why, my dear, only think. If I did, all the butterflies and
+cockyolybirds would fly past me, and then I should catch no more new
+species, and should grow rusty and mouldy, and die. And I don't intend
+to do that, my dear; for I have a destiny before me, they say: though
+what it is I don't know, and don't care."
+
+"Don't care?" said Tom.
+
+"No. Do the duty which lies nearest you, and catch the first beetle you
+come across, is my motto; and I have thriven by it for some hundred
+years. Now I must go on. Dear me, while I have been talking to you, at
+least nine new species have escaped me."
+
+And on went the giant, behind before, like a bull in a china-shop, till
+he ran into the steeple of the great idol temple (for they are all
+idolaters in those parts, of course, else they would never be afraid of
+giants), and knocked the upper half clean off, hurting himself horribly
+about the small of the back.
+
+But little he cared; for as soon as the ruins of the steeple were well
+between his legs, he poked and peered among the falling stones, and
+shifted his spectacles, and pulled out his pocket-magnifier, and cried--
+
+"An entirely new Oniscus, and three obscure Podurellae! Besides a moth
+which M. le Roi des Papillons (though he, like all Frenchmen, is given
+to hasty inductions) says is confined to the limits of the Glacial
+Drift. This is most important!"
+
+And down he sat on the nave of the temple (not being a man of the world)
+to examine his Podurellae. Whereon (as was to be expected) the roof caved
+in bodily, smashing the idols, and sending the priests flying out of
+doors and windows, like rabbits out of a burrow when a ferret goes in.
+
+But he never heeded; for out of the dust flew a bat, and the giant had
+him in a moment.
+
+"Dear me! This is even more important! Here is a cognate species to that
+which Macgilliwaukie Brown insists is confined to the Buddhist temples
+of Little Thibet; and now when I look at it, it may be only a variety
+produced by difference of climate!"
+
+And having bagged his bat, up he got, and on he went; while all the
+people ran, being in none the better humour for having their temple
+smashed for the sake of three obscure species of Podurella, and a
+Buddhist bat.
+
+"Well," thought Tom, "this is a very pretty quarrel, with a good deal to
+be said on both sides. But it is no business of mine."
+
+And no more it was, because he was a water-baby, and had the original
+sow by the right ear; which you will never have, unless you be a baby,
+whether of the water, the land, or the air, matters not, provided you
+can only keep on continually being a baby.
+
+So the giant ran round after the people, and the people ran round after
+the giant, and they are running unto this day for aught I know, or do
+not know; and will run till either he, or they, or both, turn into
+little children. And then, as Shakespeare says (and therefore it must be
+true)--
+
+          "_Jack shall have Gill
+            Nought shall go ill
+            The man shall have his mare again, and all go well._"
+
+Then Tom came to a very famous island, which was called, in the days of
+the great traveller Captain Gulliver, the Isle of Laputa. But Mrs.
+Bedonebyasyoudid has named it over again the Isle of Tomtoddies, all
+heads and no bodies.
+
+And when Tom came near it, he heard such a grumbling and grunting and
+growling and wailing and weeping and whining that he thought people must
+be ringing little pigs, or cropping puppies' ears, or drowning kittens:
+but when he came nearer still, he began to hear words among the noise;
+which was the Tomtoddies' song which they sing morning and evening, and
+all night too, to their great idol Examination--
+
+          "_I can't learn my lesson: the examiner's coming!_"
+
+And that was the only song which they knew.
+
+And when Tom got on shore the first thing he saw was a great pillar, on
+one side of which was inscribed, "Playthings not allowed here"; at which
+he was so shocked that he would not stay to see what was written on the
+other side. Then he looked round for the people of the island: but
+instead of men, women, and children, he found nothing but turnips and
+radishes, beet and mangold wurzel, without a single green leaf among
+them, and half of them burst and decayed, with toadstools growing out of
+them. Those which were left began crying to Tom, in half a dozen
+different languages at once, and all of them badly spoken, "I can't
+learn my lesson; do come and help me!" And one cried, "Can you show me
+how to extract this square root?"
+
+And another, "Can you tell me the distance between [Greek: a] Lyrae and
+[Greek: b] Camelopardis?"
+
+And another, "What is the latitude and longitude of Snooksville, in
+Noman's County, Oregon, U.S.?"
+
+And another, "What was the name of Mutius Scaevola's thirteenth cousin's
+grandmother's maid's cat?"
+
+And another, "How long would it take a school-inspector of average
+activity to tumble head over heels from London to York?"
+
+And another, "Can you tell me the name of a place that nobody ever heard
+of, where nothing ever happened, in a country which has not been
+discovered yet?"
+
+And another, "Can you show me how to correct this hopelessly corrupt
+passage of Graidiocolosyrtus Tabenniticus, on the cause why crocodiles
+have no tongues?"
+
+And so on, and so on, and so on, till one would have thought they were
+all trying for tide-waiters' places, or cornetcies in the heavy
+dragoons.
+
+"And what good on earth will it do you if I did tell you?" quoth Tom.
+
+Well, they didn't know that: all they knew was the examiner was coming.
+
+Then Tom stumbled on the hugest and softest nimblecomequick turnip you
+ever saw filling a hole in a crop of swedes, and it cried to him, "Can
+you tell me anything at all about anything you like?"
+
+"About what?" says Tom.
+
+"About anything you like; for as fast as I learn things I forget them
+again. So my mamma says that my intellect is not adapted for methodic
+science, and says that I must go in for general information."
+
+Tom told him that he did not know general information, nor any officers
+in the army; only he had a friend once that went for a drummer: but he
+could tell him a great many strange things which he had seen in his
+travels.
+
+So he told him prettily enough, while the poor turnip listened very
+carefully; and the more he listened, the more he forgot, and the more
+water ran out of him.
+
+Tom thought he was crying: but it was only his poor brains running away,
+from being worked so hard; and as Tom talked, the unhappy turnip
+streamed down all over with juice, and split and shrank till nothing was
+left of him but rind and water; whereat Tom ran away in a fright, for he
+thought he might be taken up for killing the turnip.
+
+But, on the contrary, the turnip's parents were highly delighted, and
+considered him a saint and a martyr, and put up a long inscription over
+his tomb about his wonderful talents, early development, and
+unparalleled precocity. Were they not a foolish couple? But there was a
+still more foolish couple next to them, who were beating a wretched
+little radish, no bigger than my thumb, for sullenness and obstinacy and
+wilful stupidity, and never knew that the reason why it couldn't learn
+or hardly even speak was, that there was a great worm inside it eating
+out all its brains. But even they are no foolisher than some hundred
+score of papas and mammas, who fetch the rod when they ought to fetch a
+new toy, and send to the dark cupboard instead of to the doctor.
+
+Tom was so puzzled and frightened with all he saw, that he was longing
+to ask the meaning of it; and at last he stumbled over a respectable
+old stick lying half covered with earth. But a very stout and worthy
+stick it was, for it belonged to good Roger Ascham in old time, and had
+carved on its head King Edward the Sixth, with the Bible in his hand.
+
+"You see," said the stick, "there were as pretty little children once as
+you could wish to see, and might have been so still if they had been
+only left to grow up like human beings, and then handed over to me; but
+their foolish fathers and mothers, instead of letting them pick flowers,
+and make dirt-pies, and get birds' nests, and dance round the gooseberry
+bush, as little children should, kept them always at lessons, working,
+working, working, learning week-day lessons all week-days, and Sunday
+lessons all Sunday, and weekly examinations every Saturday, and monthly
+examinations every month, and yearly examinations every year, everything
+seven times over, as if once was not enough, and enough as good as a
+feast--till their brains grew big, and their bodies grew small, and they
+were all changed into turnips, with little but water inside; and still
+their foolish parents actually pick the leaves off them as fast as they
+grow, lest they should have anything green about them."
+
+"Ah!" said Tom, "if dear Mrs. Doasyouwouldbedoneby knew of it she would
+send them a lot of tops, and balls, and marbles, and ninepins, and make
+them all as jolly as sand-boys."
+
+"It would be no use," said the stick. "They can't play now, if they
+tried. Don't you see how their legs have turned to roots and grown into
+the ground, by never taking any exercise, but sapping and moping always
+in the same place? But here comes the Examiner-of-all-Examiners. So you
+had better get away, I warn you, or he will examine you and your dog
+into the bargain, and set him to examine all the other dogs, and you to
+examine all the other water-babies. There is no escaping out of his
+hands, for his nose is nine thousand miles long, and can go down
+chimneys, and through keyholes, upstairs, downstairs, in my lady's
+chamber, examining all little boys, and the little boys' tutors
+likewise. But when he is thrashed--so Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid has promised
+me--I shall have the thrashing of him: and if I don't lay it on with a
+will it's a pity."
+
+Tom went off: but rather slowly and surlily; for he was somewhat minded
+to face this same Examiner-of-all-Examiners, who came striding among the
+poor turnips, binding heavy burdens and grievous to be borne, and laying
+them on little children's shoulders, like the Scribes and Pharisees of
+old, and not touching the same with one of his fingers; for he had
+plenty of money, and a fine house to live in, and so forth; which was
+more than the poor little turnips had.
+
+But when he got near, he looked so big and burly and dictatorial, and
+shouted so loud to Tom, to come and be examined, that Tom ran for his
+life, and the dog too. And really it was time; for the poor turnips, in
+their hurry and fright, crammed themselves so fast to be ready for the
+Examiner, that they burst and popped by dozens all round him, till the
+place sounded like Aldershot on a field-day, and Tom thought he should
+be blown into the air, dog and all.
+
+As he went down to the shore he passed the poor turnip's new tomb. But
+Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid had taken away the epitaph about talents and
+precocity and development, and put up one of her own instead which Tom
+thought much more sensible:--
+
+          "_Instruction sore long time I bore,
+              And cramming was in vain;
+            Till heaven did please my woes to ease
+              With water on the brain._"
+
+So Tom jumped into the sea, and swam on his way, singing:--
+
+          "_Farewell, Tomtoddies all; I thank my stars
+            That nought I know save those three royal r's:
+            Reading and riting sure, with rithmetick,
+            Will help a lad of sense through thin and thick._"
+
+Whereby you may see that Tom was no poet: but no more was John Bunyan,
+though he was as wise a man as you will meet in a month of Sundays.
+
+And next he came to Oldwivesfabledom, where the folks were all heathens,
+and worshipped a howling ape.
+
+And there he found a little boy sitting in the middle of the road, and
+crying bitterly.
+
+"What are you crying for?" said Tom.
+
+"Because I am not as frightened as I could wish to be."
+
+"Not frightened? You are a queer little chap: but, if you want to be
+frightened, here goes--Boo!"
+
+"Ah," said the little boy, "that is very kind of you; but I don't feel
+that it has made any impression."
+
+Tom offered to upset him, punch him, stamp on him, fettle him over the
+head with a brick, or anything else whatsoever which would give him the
+slightest comfort.
+
+But he only thanked Tom very civilly, in fine long words which he had
+heard other folk use, and which, therefore, he thought were fit and
+proper to use himself; and cried on till his papa and mamma came, and
+sent off for the Powwow man immediately. And a very good-natured
+gentleman and lady they were, though they were heathens; and talked
+quite pleasantly to Tom about his travels, till the Powwow man arrived,
+with his thunderbox under his arm.
+
+And a well-fed, ill-favoured gentleman he was, as ever served Her
+Majesty at Portland. Tom was a little frightened at first; for he
+thought it was Grimes. But he soon saw his mistake: for Grimes always
+looked a man in the face; and this fellow never did. And when he spoke,
+it was fire and smoke; and when he sneezed, it was squibs and crackers;
+and when he cried (which he did whenever it paid him), it was boiling
+pitch; and some of it was sure to stick.
+
+"Here we are again!" cried he, like the clown in a pantomime. "So you
+can't feel frightened, my little dear--eh? I'll do that for you. I'll
+make an impression on you! Yah! Boo! Whirroo! Hullabaloo!"
+
+And he rattled, thumped, brandished his thunderbox, yelled, shouted,
+raved, roared, stamped, and danced corrobory like any black fellow; and
+then he touched a spring in the thunderbox, and out popped turnip-ghosts
+and magic-lanthorns and pasteboard bogies and spring-heeled Jacks, and
+sallaballas, with such a horrid din, clatter, clank, roll, rattle, and
+roar, that the little boy turned up the whites of his eyes, and fainted
+right away.
+
+And at that his poor heathen papa and mamma were as much delighted as if
+they had found a gold mine; and fell down upon their knees before the
+Powwow man, and gave him a palanquin with a pole of solid silver and
+curtains of cloth of gold; and carried him about in it on their own
+backs: but as soon as they had taken him up, the pole stuck to their
+shoulders, and they could not set him down any more, but carried him on
+willynilly, as Sinbad carried the old man of the sea: which was a
+pitiable sight to see; for the father was a very brave officer, and wore
+two swords and a blue button; and the mother was as pretty a lady as
+ever had pinched feet like a Chinese. But you see, they had chosen to do
+a foolish thing just once too often; so, by the laws of Mrs.
+Bedonebyasyoudid, they had to go on doing it whether they chose or not,
+till the coming of the Cocqcigrues.
+
+Ah! don't you wish that some one would go and convert those poor
+heathens, and teach them not to frighten their little children into
+fits?
+
+"Now, then," said the Powwow man to Tom, "wouldn't you like to be
+frightened, my little dear? For I can see plainly that you are a very
+wicked, naughty, graceless, reprobate boy."
+
+"You're another," quoth Tom, very sturdily. And when the man ran at him,
+and cried "Boo!" Tom ran at him in return, and cried "Boo!" likewise,
+right in his face, and set the little dog upon him; and at his legs the
+dog went.
+
+At which, if you will believe it, the fellow turned tail, thunderbox and
+all, with a "Woof!" like an old sow on the common; and ran for his life,
+screaming, "Help! thieves! murder! fire! He is going to kill me! I am a
+ruined man! He will murder me; and break, burn, and destroy my precious
+and invaluable thunderbox; and then you will have no more
+thunder-showers in the land. Help! help! help!"
+
+At which the papa and mamma and all the people of Oldwivesfabledom flew
+at Tom, shouting, "Oh, the wicked, impudent, hard-hearted, graceless
+boy! Beat him, kick him, shoot him, drown him, hang him, burn him!" and
+so forth: but luckily they had nothing to shoot, hang, or burn him with,
+for the fairies had hid all the killing-tackle out of the way a little
+while before; so they could only pelt him with stones; and some of the
+stones went clean through him, and came out the other side. But he did
+not mind that a bit; for the holes closed up again as fast as they were
+made, because he was a water-baby. However, he was very glad when he was
+safe out of the country, for the noise there made him all but deaf.
+
+Then he came to a very quiet place, called Leaveheavenalone. And there
+the sun was drawing water out of the sea to make steam-threads, and the
+wind was twisting them up to make cloud-patterns, till they had worked
+between them the loveliest wedding veil of Chantilly lace, and hung it
+up in their own Crystal Palace for any one to buy who could afford it;
+while the good old sea never grudged, for she knew they would pay her
+back honestly. So the sun span, and the wind wove, and all went well
+with the great steam-loom; as is likely, considering--and
+considering--and considering--
+
+And at last, after innumerable adventures, each more wonderful than the
+last, he saw before him a huge building, much bigger, and--what is most
+surprising--a little uglier than a certain new lunatic asylum, but not
+built quite of the same materials. None of it, at least--or, indeed, for
+aught that I ever saw, any part of any other building whatsoever--is
+cased with nine-inch brick inside and out, and filled up with rubble
+between the walls, in order that any gentleman who has been confined
+during Her Majesty's pleasure may be unconfined during his own pleasure,
+and take a walk in the neighbouring park to improve his spirits, after
+an hour's light and wholesome labour with his dinner-fork or one of the
+legs of his iron bedstead. No. The walls of this building were built on
+an entirely different principle, which need not be described, as it has
+not yet been discovered.
+
+Tom walked towards this great building, wondering what it was, and
+having a strange fancy that he might find Mr. Grimes inside it, till he
+saw running toward him, and shouting "Stop!" three or four people, who,
+when they came nearer, were nothing else than policemen's truncheons,
+running along without legs or arms.
+
+Tom was not astonished. He was long past that. Besides, he had seen the
+naviculae in the water move nobody knows how, a hundred times, without
+arms, or legs, or anything to stand in their stead. Neither was he
+frightened; for he had been doing no harm.
+
+So he stopped; and, when the foremost truncheon came up and asked his
+business, he showed Mother Carey's pass; and the truncheon looked at it
+in the oddest fashion; for he had one eye in the middle of his upper
+end, so that when he looked at anything, being quite stiff, he had to
+slope himself, and poke himself, till it was a wonder why he did not
+tumble over; but, being quite full of the spirit of justice (as all
+policemen, and their truncheons, ought to be), he was always in a
+position of stable equilibrium, whichever way he put himself.
+
+"All right--pass on," said he at last. And then he added: "I had better
+go with you, young man." And Tom had no objection, for such company was
+both respectable and safe; so the truncheon coiled its thong neatly
+round its handle, to prevent tripping itself up--for the thong had got
+loose in running--and marched on by Tom's side.
+
+"Why have you no policeman to carry you?" asked Tom, after a while.
+
+"Because we are not like those clumsy-made truncheons in the land-world,
+which cannot go without having a whole man to carry them about. We do
+our own work for ourselves; and do it very well, though I say it who
+should not."
+
+"Then why have you a thong to your handle?" asked Tom.
+
+"To hang ourselves up by, of course, when we are off duty."
+
+Tom had got his answer, and had no more to say, till they came up to the
+great iron door of the prison. And there the truncheon knocked twice,
+with its own head.
+
+A wicket in the door opened, and out looked a tremendous old brass
+blunderbuss charged up to the muzzle with slugs, who was the porter; and
+Tom started back a little at the sight of him.
+
+"What case is this?" he asked in a deep voice, out of his broad bell
+mouth.
+
+"If you please, sir, it is no case; only a young gentleman from her
+ladyship, who wants to see Grimes, the master-sweep."
+
+"Grimes?" said the blunderbuss. And he pulled in his muzzle, perhaps to
+look over his prison-lists.
+
+"Grimes is up chimney No. 345," he said from inside. "So the young
+gentleman had better go on to the roof."
+
+Tom looked up at the enormous wall, which seemed at least ninety miles
+high, and wondered how he should ever get up: but, when he hinted that
+to the truncheon, it settled the matter in a moment. For it whisked
+round, and gave him such a shove behind as sent him up to the roof in no
+time, with his little dog under his arm.
+
+And there he walked along the leads, till he met another truncheon, and
+told him his errand.
+
+"Very good," it said. "Come along: but it will be of no use. He is the
+most unremorseful, hard-hearted, foul-mouthed fellow I have in charge;
+and thinks about nothing but beer and pipes, which are not allowed here,
+of course."
+
+So they walked along over the leads, and very sooty they were, and Tom
+thought the chimneys must want sweeping very much. But he was surprised
+to see that the soot did not stick to his feet, or dirty them in the
+least. Neither did the live coals, which were lying about in plenty,
+burn him; for, being a water-baby, his radical humours were of a moist
+and cold nature, as you may read at large in Lemnius, Cardan, Van
+Helmont, and other gentlemen, who knew as much as they could, and no man
+can know more.
+
+And at last they came to chimney No. 345. Out of the top of it, his head
+and shoulders just showing, stuck poor Mr. Grimes, so sooty, and
+bleared, and ugly, that Tom could hardly bear to look at him. And in his
+mouth was a pipe; but it was not a-light; though he was pulling at it
+with all his might.
+
+"Attention, Mr. Grimes," said the truncheon; "here is a gentleman come
+to see you."
+
+But Mr. Grimes only said bad words; and kept grumbling, "My pipe won't
+draw. My pipe won't draw."
+
+"Keep a civil tongue, and attend!" said the truncheon; and popped up
+just like Punch, hitting Grimes such a crack over the head with itself,
+that his brains rattled inside like a dried walnut in its shell. He
+tried to get his hands out, and rub the place: but he could not, for
+they were stuck fast in the chimney. Now he was forced to attend.
+
+"Hey!" he said, "why, it's Tom! I suppose you have come here to laugh at
+me, you spiteful little atomy?"
+
+Tom assured him he had not, but only wanted to help him.
+
+"I don't want anything except beer, and that I can't get; and a light to
+this bothering pipe, and that I can't get either."
+
+"I'll get you one," said Tom; and he took up a live coal (there were
+plenty lying about) and put it to Grimes' pipe: but it went out
+instantly.
+
+"It's no use," said the truncheon, leaning itself up against the chimney
+and looking on. "I tell you, it is no use. His heart is so cold that it
+freezes everything that comes near him. You will see that presently,
+plain enough."
+
+"Oh, of course, it's my fault. Everything's always my fault," said
+Grimes. "Now don't go to hit me again" (for the truncheon started
+upright, and looked very wicked); "you know, if my arms were only free,
+you daren't hit me then."
+
+The truncheon leant back against the chimney, and took no notice of the
+personal insult, like a well-trained policeman as it was, though he was
+ready enough to avenge any transgression against morality or order.
+
+"But can't I help you in any other way? Can't I help you to get out of
+this chimney?" said Tom.
+
+"No," interposed the truncheon; "he has come to the place where
+everybody must help themselves; and he will find it out, I hope, before
+he has done with me."
+
+"Oh, yes," said Grimes, "of course it's me. Did I ask to be brought here
+into the prison? Did I ask to be set to sweep your foul chimneys? Did I
+ask to have lighted straw put under me to make me go up? Did I ask to
+stick fast in the very first chimney of all, because it was so
+shamefully clogged up with soot? Did I ask to stay here--I don't know
+how long--a hundred years, I do believe, and never get my pipe, nor my
+beer, nor nothing fit for a beast, let alone a man?"
+
+"No," answered a solemn voice behind. "No more did Tom, when you behaved
+to him in the very same way."
+
+It was Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid. And, when the truncheon saw her, it
+started bolt upright--Attention!--and made such a low bow, that if it
+had not been full of the spirit of justice, it must have tumbled on its
+end, and probably hurt its one eye. And Tom made his bow too.
+
+"Oh, ma'am," he said, "don't think about me; that's all past and gone,
+and good times and bad times and all times pass over. But may not I help
+poor Mr. Grimes? Mayn't I try and get some of these bricks away, that he
+may move his arms?"
+
+"You may try, of course," she said.
+
+So Tom pulled and tugged at the bricks: but he could not move one. And
+then he tried to wipe Mr. Grimes' face: but the soot would not come off.
+
+"Oh, dear!" he said. "I have come all this way, through all these
+terrible places, to help you, and now I am of no use at all."
+
+"You had best leave me alone," said Grimes; "you are a good-natured
+forgiving little chap, and that's truth; but you'd best be off. The
+hail's coming on soon, and it will beat the eyes out of your little
+head."
+
+"What hail?"
+
+"Why, hail that falls every evening here; and, till it comes close to
+me, it's like so much warm rain: but then it turns to hail over my head,
+and knocks me about like small shot."
+
+"That hail will never come any more," said the strange lady. "I have
+told you before what it was. It was your mother's tears, those which
+she shed when she prayed for you by her bedside; but your cold heart
+froze it into hail. But she is gone to heaven now, and will weep no more
+for her graceless son."
+
+Then Grimes was silent awhile; and then he looked very sad.
+
+"So my old mother's gone, and I never there to speak to her! Ah! a good
+woman she was, and might have been a happy one, in her little school
+there in Vendale, if it hadn't been for me and my bad ways."
+
+"Did she keep the school in Vendale?" asked Tom. And then he told Grimes
+all the story of his going to her house, and how she could not abide the
+sight of a chimney-sweep, and then how kind she was, and how he turned
+into a water-baby.
+
+"Ah!" said Grimes, "good reason she had to hate the sight of a
+chimney-sweep. I ran away from her and took up with the sweeps, and
+never let her know where I was, nor sent her a penny to help her, and
+now it's too late--too late!" said Mr. Grimes.
+
+And he began crying and blubbering like a great baby, till his pipe
+dropped out of his mouth, and broke all to bits.
+
+"Oh, dear, if I was but a little chap in Vendale again, to see the clear
+beck, and the apple-orchard, and the yew-hedge, how different I would go
+on! But it's too late now. So you go along, you kind little chap, and
+don't stand to look at a man crying, that's old enough to be your
+father, and never feared the face of man, nor of worse neither. But I'm
+beat now, and beat I must be. I've made my bed, and I must lie on it.
+Foul I would be, and foul I am, as an Irishwoman said to me once; and
+little I heeded it. It's all my own fault: but it's too late." And he
+cried so bitterly that Tom began crying too.
+
+"Never too late," said the fairy, in such a strange soft new voice that
+Tom looked up at her; and she was so beautiful for the moment, that Tom
+half fancied she was her sister.
+
+No more was it too late. For, as poor Grimes cried and blubbered on, his
+own tears did what his mother's could not do, and Tom's could not do,
+and nobody's on earth could do for him; for they washed the soot off his
+face and off his clothes; and then they washed the mortar away from
+between the bricks; and the chimney crumbled down; and Grimes began to
+get out of it.
+
+Up jumped the truncheon, and was going to hit him on the crown a
+tremendous thump, and drive him down again like a cork into a bottle.
+But the strange lady put it aside.
+
+"Will you obey me if I give you a chance?"
+
+"As you please, ma'am. You're stronger than me--that I know too well,
+and wiser than me, I know too well also. And, as for being my own
+master, I've fared ill enough with that as yet. So whatever your
+ladyship pleases to order me; for I'm beat, and that's the truth."
+
+"Be it so then--you may come out. But remember, disobey me again, and
+into a worse place still you go."
+
+"I beg pardon, ma'am, but I never disobeyed you that I know of. I never
+had the honour of setting eyes upon you till I came to these ugly
+quarters."
+
+"Never saw me? Who said to you, Those that will be foul, foul they will
+be?"
+
+Grimes looked up; and Tom looked up too; for the voice was that of the
+Irishwoman who met them the day that they went out together to
+Harthover. "I gave you your warning then: but you gave it yourself a
+thousand times before and since. Every bad word that you said--every
+cruel and mean thing that you did--every time that you got tipsy--every
+day that you went dirty--you were disobeying me, whether you knew it or
+not."
+
+"If I'd only known, ma'am----"
+
+"You knew well enough that you were disobeying something, though you did
+not know it was me. But come out and take your chance. Perhaps it may be
+your last."
+
+So Grimes stepped out of the chimney, and really, if it had not been for
+the scars on his face, he looked as clean and respectable as a
+master-sweep need look.
+
+"Take him away," said she to the truncheon, "and give him his
+ticket-of-leave."
+
+"And what is he to do, ma'am?"
+
+"Get him to sweep out the crater of Etna; he will find some very steady
+men working out their time there, who will teach him his business: but
+mind, if that crater gets choked again, and there is an earthquake in
+consequence, bring them all to me, and I shall investigate the case very
+severely."
+
+So the truncheon marched off Mr. Grimes, looking as meek as a drowned
+worm.
+
+And for aught I know, or do not know, he is sweeping the crater of Etna
+to this very day.
+
+"And now," said the fairy to Tom, "your work here is done. You may as
+well go back again."
+
+"I should be glad enough to go," said Tom, "but how am I to get up that
+great hole again, now the steam has stopped blowing?"
+
+"I will take you up the backstairs: but I must bandage your eyes first;
+for I never allow anybody to see those backstairs of mine."
+
+"I am sure I shall not tell anybody about them, ma'am, if you bid me
+not."
+
+"Aha! So you think, my little man. But you would soon forget your
+promise if you got back into the land-world. For, if people only once
+found out that you had been up my backstairs, you would have all the
+fine ladies kneeling to you, and the rich men emptying their purses
+before you, and statesmen offering you place and power; and young and
+old, rich and poor, crying to you, 'Only tell us the great backstairs
+secret, and we will be your slaves; we will make you lord, king,
+emperor, bishop, archbishop, pope, if you like--only tell us the secret
+of the backstairs. For thousands of years we have been paying, and
+petting, and obeying, and worshipping quacks who told us they had the
+key of the backstairs, and could smuggle us up them; and in spite of all
+our disappointments, we will honour, and glorify, and adore, and
+beatify, and translate, and apotheotise you likewise, on the chance of
+your knowing something about the backstairs, that we may all go on
+pilgrimage to it; and, even if we cannot get up it, lie at the foot of
+it, and cry--
+
+            '_Oh, backstairs_,
+          _precious backstairs_,        _comfortable backstairs_,
+          _invaluable backstairs_,      _humane backstairs_,
+          _requisite backstairs_,       _reasonable backstairs_,
+          _necessary backstairs_,       _long-sought backstairs_,
+          _good-natured backstairs_,    _coveted backstairs_,
+          _cosmopolitan backstairs_,    _aristocratic backstairs_,
+          _comprehensive backstairs_,   _respectable backstairs_,
+          _accommodating backstairs_,   _gentlemanlike backstairs_,
+          _well-bred backstairs_,       _ladylike backstairs_,
+          _commercial backstairs_,      _orthodox backstairs_,
+          _economical backstairs_,      _probable backstairs_,
+          _practical backstairs_,       _credible backstairs_,
+          _logical backstairs_,         _demonstrable backstairs_,
+          _deductive backstairs_,       _irrefragable backstairs_,
+                       _potent backstairs_,
+                 _all-but-omnipotent backstairs_,
+                                _&c._
+
+Save us from the consequences of our own actions, and from the cruel
+fairy, Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid!' Do not you think that you would be a
+little tempted then to tell what you know, laddie?"
+
+Tom thought so certainly. "But why do they want so to know about the
+backstairs?" asked he, being a little frightened at the long words, and
+not understanding them the least; as, indeed, he was not meant to do, or
+you either.
+
+"That I shall not tell you. I never put things into little folks' heads
+which are but too likely to come there of themselves. So come--now I
+must bandage your eyes." So she tied the bandage on his eyes with one
+hand, and with the other she took it off.
+
+"Now," she said, "you are safe up the stairs." Tom opened his eyes very
+wide, and his mouth too; for he had not, as he thought, moved a single
+step. But, when he looked round him, there could be no doubt that he was
+safe up the backstairs, whatsoever they may be, which no man is going to
+tell you, for the plain reason that no man knows.
+
+The first thing which Tom saw was the black cedars, high and sharp
+against the rosy dawn; and St. Brandan's Isle reflected double in the
+still broad silver sea. The wind sang softly in the cedars, and the
+water sang among the caves: the sea-birds sang as they streamed out into
+the ocean, and the land-birds as they built among the boughs; and the
+air was so full of song that it stirred St. Brandan and his hermits, as
+they slumbered in the shade; and they moved their good old lips, and
+sang their morning hymn amid their dreams. But among all the songs one
+came across the water more sweet and clear than all; for it was the song
+of a young girl's voice.
+
+And what was the song which she sang? Ah, my little man, I am too old to
+sing that song, and you too young to understand it. But have patience,
+and keep your eye single, and your hands clean, and you will learn some
+day to sing it yourself, without needing any man to teach you.
+
+And as Tom neared the island, there sat upon a rock the most graceful
+creature that ever was seen, looking down, with her chin upon her hand,
+and paddling with her feet in the water. And when they came to her she
+looked up, and behold it was Ellie.
+
+"Oh, Miss Ellie," said he, "how you are grown!"
+
+"Oh, Tom," said she, "how you are grown too!"
+
+And no wonder; they were both quite grown up--he into a tall man, and
+she into a beautiful woman.
+
+"Perhaps I may be grown," she said. "I have had time enough; for I have
+been sitting here waiting for you many a hundred years, till I thought
+you were never coming."
+
+"Many a hundred years?" thought Tom; but he had seen so much in his
+travels that he had quite given up being astonished; and, indeed, he
+could think of nothing but Ellie. So he stood and looked at Ellie, and
+Ellie looked at him; and they liked the employment so much that they
+stood and looked for seven years more, and neither spoke nor stirred.
+
+At last they heard the fairy say: "Attention, children. Are you never
+going to look at me again?"
+
+"We have been looking at you all this while," they said. And so they
+thought they had been.
+
+"Then look at me once more," said she.
+
+They looked--and both of them cried out at once, "Oh, who are you, after
+all?"
+
+"You are our dear Mrs. Doasyouwouldbedoneby."
+
+"No, you are good Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid; but you are grown quite
+beautiful now!"
+
+"To you," said the fairy. "But look again."
+
+"You are Mother Carey," said Tom, in a very low, solemn voice; for he
+had found out something which made him very happy, and yet frightened
+him more than all that he had ever seen.
+
+"But you are grown quite young again."
+
+"To you," said the fairy. "Look again."
+
+"You are the Irishwoman who met me the day I went to Harthover!"
+
+And when they looked she was neither of them, and yet all of them at
+once.
+
+"My name is written in my eyes, if you have eyes to see it there."
+
+And they looked into her great, deep, soft eyes, and they changed again
+and again into every hue, as the light changes in a diamond.
+
+"Now read my name," said she, at last.
+
+And her eyes flashed, for one moment, clear, white, blazing light: but
+the children could not read her name; for they were dazzled, and hid
+their faces in their hands.
+
+"Not yet, young things, not yet," said she, smiling; and then she turned
+to Ellie.
+
+"You may take him home with you now on Sundays, Ellie. He has won his
+spurs in the great battle, and become fit to go with you and be a man;
+because he has done the thing he did not like."
+
+So Tom went home with Ellie on Sundays, and sometimes on week-days, too;
+and he is now a great man of science, and can plan railroads, and
+steam-engines, and electric telegraphs, and rifled guns, and so forth;
+and knows everything about everything, except why a hen's egg don't turn
+into a crocodile, and two or three other little things which no one will
+know till the coming of the Cocqcigrues. And all this from what he
+learnt when he was a water-baby, underneath the sea.
+
+"And of course Tom married Ellie?"
+
+My dear child, what a silly notion! Don't you know that no one ever
+marries in a fairy tale, under the rank of a prince or a princess?
+
+"And Tom's dog?"
+
+Oh, you may see him any clear night in July; for the old dog-star was so
+worn out by the last three hot summers that there have been no dog-days
+since; so that they had to take him down and put Tom's dog up in his
+place. Therefore, as new brooms sweep clean, we may hope for some warm
+weather this year. And that is the end of my story.
+
+
+
+
+MORAL
+
+
+_And now, my dear little man, what should we learn from this parable?_
+
+_We should learn thirty-seven or thirty-nine things, I am not exactly
+sure which: but one thing, at least, we may learn, and that is
+this--when we see efts in the pond, never to throw stones at them, or
+catch them with crooked pins, or put them into vivariums with
+sticklebacks, that the sticklebacks may prick them in their poor little
+stomachs, and make them jump out of the glass into somebody's work-box,
+and so come to a bad end. For these efts are nothing else but the
+water-babies who are stupid and dirty, and will not learn their lessons
+and keep themselves clean; and, therefore (as comparative anatomists
+will tell you fifty years hence, though they are not learned enough to
+tell you now), their skulls grow flat, their jaws grow out, and their
+brains grow small, and their tails grow long, and they lose all their
+ribs (which I am sure you would not like to do), and their skins grow
+dirty and spotted, and they never get into the clear rivers, much less
+into the great wide sea, but hang about in dirty ponds, and live in the
+mud, and eat worms, as they deserve to do._
+
+_But that is no reason why you should ill-use them: but only why you
+should pity them, and be kind to them, and hope that some day they will
+wake up, and be ashamed of their nasty, dirty, lazy, stupid life, and
+try to amend, and become something better once more. For, perhaps, if
+they do so, then after 379,423 years, nine months, thirteen days, two
+hours, and twenty-one minutes (for aught that appears to the contrary),
+if they work very hard and wash very hard all that time, their brains
+may grow bigger, and their jaws grow smaller, and their ribs come back,
+and their tails wither off, and they will turn into water-babies again,
+and perhaps after that into land-babies; and after that perhaps into
+grown men._
+
+_You know they won't? Very well, I daresay you know best. But you see,
+some folks have a great liking for those poor little efts. They never
+did anybody any harm, or could if they tried; and their only fault is,
+that they do no good--any more than some thousands of their betters. But
+what with ducks, and what with pike, and what with sticklebacks, and
+what with water-beetles, and what with naughty boys, they are "sae sair
+hadden doun," as the Scotsmen say, that it is a wonder how they live;
+and some folks can't help hoping, with good Bishop Butler, that they may
+have another chance, to make things fair and even, somewhere, somewhen,
+somehow._
+
+_Meanwhile, do you learn your lessons, and thank God that you have
+plenty of cold water to wash in; and wash in it too, like a true
+Englishman. And then, if my story is not true, something better is; and
+if I am not quite right, still you will be, as long as you stick to hard
+work and cold water._
+
+_But remember always, as I told you at first, that this is all a fairy
+tale, and only fun and pretence: and, therefore, you are not to believe
+a word of it, even if it is true._
+
+
+THE END
+
+
+_Printed in Great Britain by R. & R. CLARK, LIMITED, Edinburgh._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Transcriber's Notes:
+
+Obvious punctuation errors repaired.
+
+Page 6, "piert" was retained as a spelling for "pert".
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Water-Babies, by
+Charles Kingsley and Warwick Goble
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