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| author | Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> | 2025-10-15 02:17:52 -0700 |
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| committer | Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> | 2025-10-15 02:17:52 -0700 |
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diff --git a/old/25564-8.txt b/old/25564-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..129b323 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/25564-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,7777 @@ +Project Gutenberg's The Water-Babies, by Charles Kingsley and Warwick Goble + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Water-Babies + A Fairy Tale for a Land-Baby + +Author: Charles Kingsley + Warwick Goble + +Release Date: May 23, 2008 [EBook #25564] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE WATER-BABIES *** + + + + +Produced by Juliet Sutherland, Emmy and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + + + + + +[Illustration: Cover] + +[Illustration: "The thing whirred up into the air, and hung poised on +its wings, . . . a dragon fly, . . . the king of all the flies."--P. 74. +(_Frontispiece_)] + + + + + +THE WATER-BABIES + +A Fairy Tale for a Land-Baby + +BY CHARLES KINGSLEY + + WITH ILLUSTRATIONS IN COLOUR BY + WARWICK GOBLE + + MACMILLAN AND CO., LIMITED + ST. MARTIN'S STREET, LONDON + 1922 + + + + + _First Published 1863_ + _Edition with 32 Illustrations in Colour by Warwick Goble, Crown + 4to, 1909_ + _With 16 Illustrations in Colour by Warwick Goble, Demy 8vo, October + 1910_ + _Reprinted November 1910, 1912_ + _With 16 Illustrations in Colour by Warwick Goble, Medium 8vo, 1922_ + +PRINTED IN GREAT BRITAIN + + + + + TO + + MY YOUNGEST SON + + GRENVILLE ARTHUR + + AND + + TO ALL OTHER GOOD LITTLE BOYS + + + COME READ ME MY RIDDLE, EACH GOOD LITTLE MAN; + IF YOU CANNOT READ IT, NO GROWN-UP FOLK CAN. + + + + +ILLUSTRATIONS + + FACING PAGE + + The thing whirred up into the air, and hung poised on its + wings, . . . a dragon fly, ... the king of all the + flies.--p. 74 _Frontispiece_ + + In rushed a stout old nurse from the next room 20 + + Play by me, bathe in me, mother and child 32 + + A quiet, silent, rich, happy place 35 + + She was the Queen of them all 44 + + From which great trout rushed out on Tom 88 + + He watched the moonlight on the rippling river 101 + + Tom had never seen a lobster before 113 + + The fairies came flying in at the window and brought her + such a pretty pair of wings 126 + + A real live water-baby, sitting on the white sand 146 + + Tom found that the isle stood all on pillars, and that its + roots were full of caves 151 + + He crept away among the rocks, and got to the cabinet, and + behold! it was open 172 + + There he saw the last of the Gairfowl, standing up on the + Allalonestone, all alone 201 + + The most beautiful bird of paradise 210 + + "That's Mother Carey" 219 + + Pandora and her box 224 + + + + + + "I heard a thousand blended notes, + While in a grove I sate reclined; + In that sweet mood when pleasant thoughts + Bring sad thoughts to the mind. + + "To her fair works did Nature link + The human soul that through me ran; + And much it grieved my heart to think, + What man has made of man." + + WORDSWORTH. + + + + +CHAPTER I + + +ONCE upon a time there was a little chimney-sweep, and his name was Tom. +That is a short name, and you have heard it before, so you will not have +much trouble in remembering it. He lived in a great town in the North +country, where there were plenty of chimneys to sweep, and plenty of +money for Tom to earn and his master to spend. He could not read nor +write, and did not care to do either; and he never washed himself, for +there was no water up the court where he lived. He had never been taught +to say his prayers. He never had heard of God, or of Christ, except in +words which you never have heard, and which it would have been well if +he had never heard. He cried half his time, and laughed the other half. +He cried when he had to climb the dark flues, rubbing his poor knees and +elbows raw; and when the soot got into his eyes, which it did every day +in the week; and when his master beat him, which he did every day in the +week; and when he had not enough to eat, which happened every day in the +week likewise. And he laughed the other half of the day, when he was +tossing halfpennies with the other boys, or playing leap-frog over the +posts, or bowling stones at the horses' legs as they trotted by, which +last was excellent fun, when there was a wall at hand behind which to +hide. As for chimney-sweeping, and being hungry, and being beaten, he +took all that for the way of the world, like the rain and snow and +thunder, and stood manfully with his back to it till it was over, as his +old donkey did to a hail-storm; and then shook his ears and was as jolly +as ever; and thought of the fine times coming, when he would be a man, +and a master sweep, and sit in the public-house with a quart of beer and +a long pipe, and play cards for silver money, and wear velveteens and +ankle-jacks, and keep a white bull-dog with one grey ear, and carry her +puppies in his pocket, just like a man. And he would have apprentices, +one, two, three, if he could. How he would bully them, and knock them +about, just as his master did to him; and make them carry home the soot +sacks, while he rode before them on his donkey, with a pipe in his mouth +and a flower in his button-hole, like a king at the head of his army. +Yes, there were good times coming; and, when his master let him have a +pull at the leavings of his beer, Tom was the jolliest boy in the whole +town. + +One day a smart little groom rode into the court where Tom lived. Tom +was just hiding behind a wall, to heave half a brick at his horse's +legs, as is the custom of that country when they welcome strangers; but +the groom saw him, and halloed to him to know where Mr. Grimes, the +chimney-sweep, lived. Now, Mr. Grimes was Tom's own master, and Tom was +a good man of business, and always civil to customers, so he put the +half-brick down quietly behind the wall, and proceeded to take orders. + +Mr. Grimes was to come up next morning to Sir John Harthover's, at the +Place, for his old chimney-sweep was gone to prison, and the chimneys +wanted sweeping. And so he rode away, not giving Tom time to ask what +the sweep had gone to prison for, which was a matter of interest to Tom, +as he had been in prison once or twice himself. Moreover, the groom +looked so very neat and clean, with his drab gaiters, drab breeches, +drab jacket, snow-white tie with a smart pin in it, and clean round +ruddy face, that Tom was offended and disgusted at his appearance, and +considered him a stuck-up fellow, who gave himself airs because he wore +smart clothes, and other people paid for them; and went behind the wall +to fetch the half-brick after all; but did not, remembering that he had +come in the way of business, and was, as it were, under a flag of truce. + +His master was so delighted at his new customer that he knocked Tom down +out of hand, and drank more beer that night than he usually did in two, +in order to be sure of getting up in time next morning; for the more a +man's head aches when he wakes, the more glad he is to turn out, and +have a breath of fresh air. And, when he did get up at four the next +morning, he knocked Tom down again, in order to teach him (as young +gentlemen used to be taught at public schools) that he must be an extra +good boy that day, as they were going to a very great house, and might +make a very good thing of it, if they could but give satisfaction. + +And Tom thought so likewise, and, indeed, would have done and behaved +his best, even without being knocked down. For, of all places upon +earth, Harthover Place (which he had never seen) was the most wonderful, +and, of all men on earth, Sir John (whom he had seen, having been sent +to gaol by him twice) was the most awful. + +Harthover Place was really a grand place, even for the rich North +country; with a house so large that in the frame-breaking riots, which +Tom could just remember, the Duke of Wellington, and ten thousand +soldiers to match, were easily housed therein; at least, so Tom +believed; with a park full of deer, which Tom believed to be monsters +who were in the habit of eating children; with miles of game-preserves, +in which Mr. Grimes and the collier lads poached at times, on which +occasions Tom saw pheasants, and wondered what they tasted like; with a +noble salmon-river, in which Mr. Grimes and his friends would have liked +to poach; but then they must have got into cold water, and that they did +not like at all. In short, Harthover was a grand place, and Sir John a +grand old man, whom even Mr. Grimes respected; for not only could he +send Mr. Grimes to prison when he deserved it, as he did once or twice +a week; not only did he own all the land about for miles; not only was +he a jolly, honest, sensible squire, as ever kept a pack of hounds, who +would do what he thought right by his neighbours, as well as get what he +thought right for himself; but, what was more, he weighed full fifteen +stone, was nobody knew how many inches round the chest, and could have +thrashed Mr. Grimes himself in fair fight, which very few folk round +there could do, and which, my dear little boy, would not have been right +for him to do, as a great many things are not which one both can do, and +would like very much to do. So Mr. Grimes touched his hat to him when he +rode through the town, and called him a "buirdly awd chap," and his +young ladies "gradely lasses," which are two high compliments in the +North country; and thought that that made up for his poaching Sir John's +pheasants; whereby you may perceive that Mr. Grimes had not been to a +properly-inspected Government National School. + +Now, I dare say, you never got up at three o'clock on a midsummer +morning. Some people get up then because they want to catch salmon; and +some because they want to climb Alps; and a great many more because they +must, like Tom. But, I assure you, that three o'clock on a midsummer +morning is the pleasantest time of all the twenty-four hours, and all +the three hundred and sixty-five days; and why every one does not get up +then, I never could tell, save that they are all determined to spoil +their nerves and their complexions by doing all night what they might +just as well do all day. But Tom, instead of going out to dinner at +half-past eight at night, and to a ball at ten, and finishing off +somewhere between twelve and four, went to bed at seven, when his master +went to the public-house, and slept like a dead pig; for which reason he +was as piert as a game-cock (who always gets up early to wake the maids), +and just ready to get up when the fine gentlemen and ladies were just +ready to go to bed. + +So he and his master set out; Grimes rode the donkey in front, and Tom +and the brushes walked behind; out of the court, and up the street, past +the closed window-shutters, and the winking weary policemen, and the +roofs all shining grey in the grey dawn. + +They passed through the pitmen's village, all shut up and silent now, +and through the turnpike; and then they were out in the real country, +and plodding along the black dusty road, between black slag walls, with +no sound but the groaning and thumping of the pit-engine in the next +field. But soon the road grew white, and the walls likewise; and at the +wall's foot grew long grass and gay flowers, all drenched with dew; and +instead of the groaning of the pit-engine, they heard the skylark saying +his matins high up in the air, and the pit-bird warbling in the sedges, +as he had warbled all night long. + +All else was silent. For old Mrs. Earth was still fast asleep; and, like +many pretty people, she looked still prettier asleep than awake. The +great elm-trees in the gold-green meadows were fast asleep above, and +the cows fast asleep beneath them; nay, the few clouds which were about +were fast asleep likewise, and so tired that they had lain down on the +earth to rest, in long white flakes and bars, among the stems of the +elm-trees, and along the tops of the alders by the stream, waiting for +the sun to bid them rise and go about their day's business in the clear +blue overhead. + +On they went; and Tom looked, and looked, for he never had been so far +into the country before; and longed to get over a gate, and pick +buttercups, and look for birds' nests in the hedge; but Mr. Grimes was a +man of business, and would not have heard of that. + +Soon they came up with a poor Irishwoman, trudging along with a bundle +at her back. She had a grey shawl over her head, and a crimson madder +petticoat; so you may be sure she came from Galway. She had neither +shoes nor stockings, and limped along as if she were tired and footsore; +but she was a very tall handsome woman, with bright grey eyes, and heavy +black hair hanging about her cheeks. And she took Mr. Grimes' fancy so +much, that when he came alongside he called out to her: + +"This is a hard road for a gradely foot like that. Will ye up, lass, and +ride behind me?" + +But, perhaps, she did not admire Mr. Grimes' look and voice; for she +answered quietly: + +"No, thank you; I'd sooner walk with your little lad here." + +"You may please yourself," growled Grimes, and went on smoking. + +So she walked beside Tom, and talked to him, and asked him where he +lived, and what he knew, and all about himself, till Tom thought he had +never met such a pleasant-spoken woman. And she asked him, at last, +whether he said his prayers! and seemed sad when he told her that he +knew no prayers to say. + +Then he asked her where she lived, and she said far away by the sea. And +Tom asked her about the sea; and she told him how it rolled and roared +over the rocks in winter nights, and lay still in the bright summer +days, for the children to bathe and play in it; and many a story more, +till Tom longed to go and see the sea, and bathe in it likewise. + +At last, at the bottom of a hill, they came to a spring; not such a +spring as you see here, which soaks up out of a white gravel in the bog, +among red fly-catchers, and pink bottle-heath, and sweet white orchis; +nor such a one as you may see, too, here, which bubbles up under the +warm sandbank in the hollow lane, by the great tuft of lady ferns, and +makes the sand dance reels at the bottom, day and night, all the year +round; not such a spring as either of those; but a real North country +limestone fountain, like one of those in Sicily or Greece, where the old +heathen fancied the nymphs sat cooling themselves the hot summer's day, +while the shepherds peeped at them from behind the bushes. Out of a low +cave of rock, at the foot of a limestone crag, the great fountain rose, +quelling, and bubbling, and gurgling, so clear that you could not tell +where the water ended and the air began; and ran away under the road, a +stream large enough to turn a mill; among blue geranium, and golden +globe-flower, and wild raspberry, and the bird-cherry with its tassels +of snow. + +And there Grimes stopped, and looked; and Tom looked too. Tom was +wondering whether anything lived in that dark cave, and came out at +night to fly in the meadows. But Grimes was not wondering at all. +Without a word, he got off his donkey, and clambered over the low road +wall, and knelt down, and began dipping his ugly head into the +spring--and very dirty he made it. + +Tom was picking the flowers as fast as he could. The Irishwoman helped +him, and showed him how to tie them up; and a very pretty nosegay they +had made between them. But when he saw Grimes actually wash, he stopped, +quite astonished; and when Grimes had finished, and began shaking his +ears to dry them, he said: + +"Why, master, I never saw you do that before." + +"Nor will again, most likely. 'Twasn't for cleanliness I did it, but for +coolness. I'd be ashamed to want washing every week or so, like any +smutty collier lad." + +"I wish I might go and dip my head in," said poor little Tom. "It must +be as good as putting it under the town-pump; and there is no beadle +here to drive a chap away." + +"Thou come along," said Grimes; "what dost want with washing thyself? +Thou did not drink half a gallon of beer last night, like me." + +"I don't care for you," said naughty Tom, and ran down to the stream, +and began washing his face. + +Grimes was very sulky, because the woman preferred Tom's company to his; +so he dashed at him with horrid words, and tore him up from his knees, +and began beating him. But Tom was accustomed to that, and got his head +safe between Mr. Grimes' legs, and kicked his shins with all his might. + +"Are you not ashamed of yourself, Thomas Grimes?" cried the Irishwoman +over the wall. + +Grimes looked up, startled at her knowing his name; but all he answered +was, "No, nor never was yet"; and went on beating Tom. + +"True for you. If you ever had been ashamed of yourself, you would have +gone over into Vendale long ago." + +"What do you know about Vendale?" shouted Grimes; but he left off +beating Tom. + +"I know about Vendale, and about you, too. I know, for instance, what +happened in Aldermire Copse, by night, two years ago come Martinmas." + +"You do?" shouted Grimes; and leaving Tom, he climbed up over the wall, +and faced the woman. Tom thought he was going to strike her; but she +looked him too full and fierce in the face for that. + +"Yes; I was there," said the Irishwoman quietly. + +"You are no Irishwoman, by your speech," said Grimes, after many bad +words. + +"Never mind who I am. I saw what I saw; and if you strike that boy +again, I can tell what I know." + +Grimes seemed quite cowed, and got on his donkey without another word. + +"Stop!" said the Irishwoman. "I have one more word for you both; for you +will both see me again before all is over. Those that wish to be clean, +clean they will be; and those that wish to be foul, foul they will be. +Remember." + +And she turned away, and through a gate into the meadow. Grimes stood +still a moment, like a man who had been stunned. Then he rushed after +her, shouting, "You come back." But when he got into the meadow, the +woman was not there. + +Had she hidden away? There was no place to hide in. But Grimes looked +about, and Tom also, for he was as puzzled as Grimes himself at her +disappearing so suddenly; but look where they would, she was not there. + +Grimes came back again, as silent as a post, for he was a little +frightened; and, getting on his donkey, filled a fresh pipe, and smoked +away, leaving Tom in peace. + +And now they had gone three miles and more, and came to Sir John's +lodge-gates. + +Very grand lodges they were, with very grand iron gates and stone +gate-posts, and on the top of each a most dreadful bogy, all teeth, +horns, and tail, which was the crest which Sir John's ancestors wore in +the Wars of the Roses; and very prudent men they were to wear it, for +all their enemies must have run for their lives at the very first sight +of them. + +Grimes rang at the gate, and out came a keeper on the spot, and opened. + +"I was told to expect thee," he said. "Now thou'lt be so good as to keep +to the main avenue, and not let me find a hare or a rabbit on thee when +thou comest back. I shall look sharp for one, I tell thee." + +"Not if it's in the bottom of the soot-bag," quoth Grimes, and at that +he laughed; and the keeper laughed and said: + +"If that's thy sort, I may as well walk up with thee to the hall." + +"I think thou best had. It's thy business to see after thy game, man, +and not mine." + +So the keeper went with them; and, to Tom's surprise, he and Grimes +chatted together all the way quite pleasantly. He did not know that a +keeper is only a poacher turned outside in, and a poacher a keeper +turned inside out. + +They walked up a great lime avenue, a full mile long, and between their +stems Tom peeped trembling at the horns of the sleeping deer, which +stood up among the ferns. Tom had never seen such enormous trees, and as +he looked up he fancied that the blue sky rested on their heads. But he +was puzzled very much by a strange murmuring noise, which followed them +all the way. So much puzzled, that at last he took courage to ask the +keeper what it was. + +He spoke very civilly, and called him Sir, for he was horribly afraid of +him, which pleased the keeper, and he told him that they were the bees +about the lime flowers. + +"What are bees?" asked Tom. + +"What make honey." + +"What is honey?" asked Tom. + +"Thou hold thy noise," said Grimes. + +"Let the boy be," said the keeper. "He's a civil young chap now, and +that's more than he'll be long if he bides with thee." + +Grimes laughed, for he took that for a compliment. + +"I wish I were a keeper," said Tom, "to live in such a beautiful place, +and wear green velveteens, and have a real dog-whistle at my button, +like you." + +The keeper laughed; he was a kind-hearted fellow enough. + +"Let well alone, lad, and ill too at times. Thy life's safer than mine +at all events, eh, Mr. Grimes?" + +And Grimes laughed again, and then the two men began talking quite low. +Tom could hear, though, that it was about some poaching fight; and at +last Grimes said surlily, "Hast thou anything against me?" + +"Not now." + +"Then don't ask me any questions till thou hast, for I am a man of +honour." + +And at that they both laughed again, and thought it a very good joke. + +And by this time they were come up to the great iron gates in front of +the house; and Tom stared through them at the rhododendrons and azaleas, +which were all in flower; and then at the house itself, and wondered how +many chimneys there were in it, and how long ago it was built, and what +was the man's name that built it, and whether he got much money for his +job? + +These last were very difficult questions to answer. For Harthover had +been built at ninety different times, and in nineteen different styles, +and looked as if somebody had built a whole street of houses of every +imaginable shape, and then stirred them together with a spoon. + + _For the attics were Anglo-Saxon._ + + _The third floor Norman._ + + _The second Cinque-cento._ + + _The first-floor Elizabethan._ + + _The right wing Pure Doric._ + + _The centre Early English, with a huge portico + copied from the Parthenon._ + + _The left wing pure B[oe]otian, which the country + folk admired most of all, because it was just like + the new barracks in the town, only three times as + big._ + + _The grand staircase was copied from the Catacombs + at Rome._ + + _The back staircase from the Tajmahal at Agra. + This was built by Sir John's + great-great-great-uncle, who won, in Lord Clive's + Indian Wars, plenty of money, plenty of wounds, + and no more taste than his betters._ + + _The cellars were copied from the caves of + Elephanta._ + + _The offices from the Pavilion at Brighton._ + +And the rest from nothing in heaven, or earth, or under the earth. + +So that Harthover House was a great puzzle to antiquarians, and a +thorough Naboth's vineyard to critics, and architects, and all persons +who like meddling with other men's business, and spending other men's +money. So they were all setting upon poor Sir John, year after year, and +trying to talk him into spending a hundred thousand pounds or so, in +building, to please them and not himself. But he always put them off, +like a canny North-countryman as he was. One wanted him to build a +Gothic house, but he said he was no Goth; and another to build an +Elizabethan, but he said he lived under good Queen Victoria, and not +good Queen Bess; and another was bold enough to tell him that his house +was ugly, but he said he lived inside it, and not outside; and another, +that there was no unity in it, but he said that that was just why he +liked the old place. For he liked to see how each Sir John, and Sir +Hugh, and Sir Ralph, and Sir Randal, had left his mark upon the place, +each after his own taste; and he had no more notion of disturbing his +ancestors' work than of disturbing their graves. For now the house +looked like a real live house, that had a history, and had grown and +grown as the world grew; and that it was only an upstart fellow who did +not know who his own grandfather was, who would change it for some spick +and span new Gothic or Elizabethan thing, which looked as if it had been +all spawned in a night, as mushrooms are. From which you may collect (if +you have wit enough) that Sir John was a very sound-headed, +sound-hearted squire, and just the man to keep the country side in +order, and show good sport with his hounds. + +But Tom and his master did not go in through the great iron gates, as if +they had been Dukes or Bishops, but round the back way, and a very long +way round it was; and into a little back-door, where the ash-boy let +them in, yawning horribly; and then in a passage the housekeeper met +them, in such a flowered chintz dressing-gown, that Tom mistook her for +My Lady herself, and she gave Grimes solemn orders about "You will take +care of this, and take care of that," as if he was going up the +chimneys, and not Tom. And Grimes listened, and said every now and then, +under his voice, "You'll mind that, you little beggar?" and Tom did +mind, all at least that he could. And then the housekeeper turned them +into a grand room, all covered up in sheets of brown paper, and bade +them begin, in a lofty and tremendous voice; and so after a whimper or +two, and a kick from his master, into the grate Tom went, and up the +chimney, while a housemaid stayed in the room to watch the furniture; to +whom Mr. Grimes paid many playful and chivalrous compliments, but met +with very slight encouragement in return. + +How many chimneys Tom swept I cannot say; but he swept so many that he +got quite tired, and puzzled too, for they were not like the town flues +to which he was accustomed, but such as you would find--if you would +only get up them and look, which perhaps you would not like to do--in +old country-houses, large and crooked chimneys, which had been altered +again and again, till they ran one into another, anastomosing (as +Professor Owen would say) considerably. So Tom fairly lost his way in +them; not that he cared much for that, though he was in pitchy darkness, +for he was as much at home in a chimney as a mole is underground; but at +last, coming down as he thought the right chimney, he came down the +wrong one, and found himself standing on the hearthrug in a room the +like of which he had never seen before. + +Tom had never seen the like. He had never been in gentlefolks' rooms but +when the carpets were all up, and the curtains down, and the furniture +huddled together under a cloth, and the pictures covered with aprons and +dusters; and he had often enough wondered what the rooms were like when +they were all ready for the quality to sit in. And now he saw, and he +thought the sight very pretty. + +The room was all dressed in white,--white window-curtains, white +bed-curtains, white furniture, and white walls, with just a few lines of +pink here and there. The carpet was all over gay little flowers; and the +walls were hung with pictures in gilt frames, which amused Tom very +much. There were pictures of ladies and gentlemen, and pictures of +horses and dogs. The horses he liked; but the dogs he did not care for +much, for there were no bull-dogs among them, not even a terrier. But +the two pictures which took his fancy most were, one a man in long +garments, with little children and their mothers round him, who was +laying his hand upon the children's heads. That was a very pretty +picture, Tom thought, to hang in a lady's room. For he could see that it +was a lady's room by the dresses which lay about. + +The other picture was that of a man nailed to a cross, which surprised +Tom much. He fancied that he had seen something like it in a +shop-window. But why was it there? "Poor man," thought Tom, "and he +looks so kind and quiet. But why should the lady have such a sad picture +as that in her room? Perhaps it was some kinsman of hers, who had been +murdered by the savages in foreign parts, and she kept it there for a +remembrance." And Tom felt sad, and awed, and turned to look at +something else. + +The next thing he saw, and that too puzzled him, was a washing-stand, +with ewers and basins, and soap and brushes, and towels, and a large +bath full of clean water--what a heap of things all for washing! "She +must be a very dirty lady," thought Tom, "by my master's rule, to want +as much scrubbing as all that. But she must be very cunning to put the +dirt out of the way so well afterwards, for I don't see a speck about +the room, not even on the very towels." + +And then, looking toward the bed, he saw that dirty lady, and held his +breath with astonishment. + +Under the snow-white coverlet, upon the snow-white pillow, lay the most +beautiful little girl that Tom had ever seen. Her cheeks were almost as +white as the pillow, and her hair was like threads of gold spread all +about over the bed. She might have been as old as Tom, or maybe a year +or two older; but Tom did not think of that. He thought only of her +delicate skin and golden hair, and wondered whether she was a real live +person, or one of the wax dolls he had seen in the shops. But when he +saw her breathe, he made up his mind that she was alive, and stood +staring at her, as if she had been an angel out of heaven. + +No. She cannot be dirty. She never could have been dirty, thought Tom to +himself. And then he thought, "And are all people like that when they +are washed?" And he looked at his own wrist, and tried to rub the soot +off, and wondered whether it ever would come off. "Certainly I should +look much prettier then, if I grew at all like her." + +And looking round, he suddenly saw, standing close to him, a little +ugly, black, ragged figure, with bleared eyes and grinning white teeth. +He turned on it angrily. What did such a little black ape want in that +sweet young lady's room? And behold, it was himself, reflected in a +great mirror, the like of which Tom had never seen before. + +And Tom, for the first time in his life, found out that he was dirty; +and burst into tears with shame and anger; and turned to sneak up the +chimney again and hide; and upset the fender and threw the fire-irons +down, with a noise as of ten thousand tin kettles tied to ten thousand +mad dogs' tails. + +[Illustration: "In rushed a stout old nurse from the next room."--_P. +20._] + +Up jumped the little white lady in her bed, and, seeing Tom, screamed as +shrill as any peacock. In rushed a stout old nurse from the next room, +and seeing Tom likewise, made up her mind that he had come to rob, +plunder, destroy, and burn; and dashed at him, as he lay over the +fender, so fast that she caught him by the jacket. + +But she did not hold him. Tom had been in a policeman's hands many a +time, and out of them too, what is more; and he would have been ashamed +to face his friends for ever if he had been stupid enough to be caught +by an old woman; so he doubled under the good lady's arm, across the +room, and out of the window in a moment. + +He did not need to drop out, though he would have done so bravely +enough. Nor even to let himself down a spout, which would have been an +old game to him; for once he got up by a spout to the church roof, he +said to take jackdaws' eggs, but the policeman said to steal lead; and, +when he was seen on high, sat there till the sun got too hot, and came +down by another spout, leaving the policemen to go back to the +stationhouse and eat their dinners. + +But all under the window spread a tree, with great leaves and sweet +white flowers, almost as big as his head. It was magnolia, I suppose; +but Tom knew nothing about that, and cared less; for down the tree he +went, like a cat, and across the garden lawn, and over the iron +railings, and up the park towards the wood, leaving the old nurse to +scream murder and fire at the window. + +The under gardener, mowing, saw Tom, and threw down his scythe; caught +his leg in it, and cut his shin open, whereby he kept his bed for a +week; but in his hurry he never knew it, and gave chase to poor Tom. The +dairymaid heard the noise, got the churn between her knees, and tumbled +over it, spilling all the cream; and yet she jumped up, and gave chase +to Tom. A groom cleaning Sir John's hack at the stables let him go +loose, whereby he kicked himself lame in five minutes; but he ran out +and gave chase to Tom. Grimes upset the soot-sack in the new-gravelled +yard, and spoilt it all utterly; but he ran out and gave chase to Tom. +The old steward opened the park-gate in such a hurry, that he hung up +his pony's chin upon the spikes, and, for aught I know, it hangs there +still; but he jumped off, and gave chase to Tom. The ploughman left his +horses at the headland, and one jumped over the fence, and pulled the +other into the ditch, plough and all; but he ran on, and gave chase to +Tom. The keeper, who was taking a stoat out of a trap, let the stoat go, +and caught his own finger; but he jumped up, and ran after Tom; and +considering what he said, and how he looked, I should have been sorry +for Tom if he had caught him. Sir John looked out of his study window +(for he was an early old gentleman) and up at the nurse, and a marten +dropped mud in his eye, so that he had at last to send for the doctor; +and yet he ran out, and gave chase to Tom. The Irishwoman, too, was +walking up to the house to beg,--she must have got round by some +byway,--but she threw away her bundle, and gave chase to Tom likewise. +Only my Lady did not give chase; for when she had put her head out of +the window, her night-wig fell into the garden, and she had to ring up +her lady's-maid, and send her down for it privately, which quite put her +out of the running, so that she came in nowhere, and is consequently not +placed. + +In a word, never was there heard at Hall Place--not even when the fox +was killed in the conservatory, among acres of broken glass, and tons of +smashed flower-pots--such a noise, row, hubbub, babel, shindy, +hullabaloo, stramash, charivari, and total contempt of dignity, repose, +and order, as that day, when Grimes, gardener, the groom, the dairymaid, +Sir John, the steward, the ploughman, the keeper, and the Irishwoman, +all ran up the park, shouting "Stop thief," in the belief that Tom had +at least a thousand pounds' worth of jewels in his empty pockets; and +the very magpies and jays followed Tom up, screaking and screaming, as +if he were a hunted fox, beginning to droop his brush. + +And all the while poor Tom paddled up the park with his little bare +feet, like a small black gorilla fleeing to the forest. Alas for him! +there was no big father gorilla therein to take his part--to scratch +out the gardener's inside with one paw, toss the dairymaid into a tree +with another, and wrench off Sir John's head with a third, while he +cracked the keeper's skull with his teeth as easily as if it had been a +cocoa-nut or a paving-stone. + +However, Tom did not remember ever having had a father; so he did not +look for one, and expected to have to take care of himself; while as for +running, he could keep up for a couple of miles with any stage-coach, if +there was the chance of a copper or a cigar-end, and turn coach-wheels +on his hands and feet ten times following, which is more than you can +do. Wherefore his pursuers found it very difficult to catch him; and we +will hope that they did not catch him at all. + +Tom, of course, made for the woods. He had never been in a wood in his +life; but he was sharp enough to know that he might hide in a bush, or +swarm up a tree, and, altogether, had more chance there than in the +open. If he had not known that, he would have been foolisher than a +mouse or a minnow. + +But when he got into the wood, he found it a very different sort of +place from what he had fancied. He pushed into a thick cover of +rhododendrons, and found himself at once caught in a trap. The boughs +laid hold of his legs and arms, poked him in his face and his stomach, +made him shut his eyes tight (though that was no great loss, for he +could not see at best a yard before his nose); and when he got through +the rhododendrons, the hassock-grass and sedges tumbled him over, and +cut his poor little fingers afterwards most spitefully; the birches +birched him as soundly as if he had been a nobleman at Eton, and over +the face too (which is not fair swishing, as all brave boys will agree); +and the lawyers tripped him up, and tore his shins as if they had +sharks' teeth--which lawyers are likely enough to have. + +"I must get out of this," thought Tom, "or I shall stay here till +somebody comes to help me--which is just what I don't want." + +But how to get out was the difficult matter. And indeed I don't think he +would ever have got out at all, but have stayed there till the +cock-robins covered him with leaves, if he had not suddenly run his head +against a wall. + +Now running your head against a wall is not pleasant, especially if it +is a loose wall, with the stones all set on edge, and a sharp cornered +one hits you between the eyes and makes you see all manner of beautiful +stars. The stars are very beautiful, certainly; but unfortunately they +go in the twenty-thousandth part of a split second, and the pain which +comes after them does not. And so Tom hurt his head; but he was a brave +boy, and did not mind that a penny. He guessed that over the wall the +cover would end; and up it he went, and over like a squirrel. + +And there he was, out on the great grouse-moors, which the country folk +called Harthover Fell--heather and bog and rock, stretching away and +up, up to the very sky. + +Now, Tom was a cunning little fellow--as cunning as an old Exmoor stag. +Why not? Though he was but ten years old, he had lived longer than most +stags, and had more wits to start with into the bargain. + +He knew as well as a stag that if he backed he might throw the hounds +out. So the first thing he did when he was over the wall was to make the +neatest double sharp to his right, and run along under the wall for +nearly half a mile. + +Whereby Sir John, and the keeper, and the steward, and the gardener, and +the ploughman, and the dairymaid, and all the hue-and-cry together, went +on ahead half a mile in the very opposite direction, and inside the +wall, leaving him a mile off on the outside; while Tom heard their +shouts die away in the woods and chuckled to himself merrily. + +At last he came to a dip in the land, and went to the bottom of it, and +then he turned bravely away from the wall and up the moor; for he knew +that he had put a hill between him and his enemies, and could go on +without their seeing him. + +But the Irishwoman, alone of them all, had seen which way Tom went. She +had kept ahead of every one the whole time; and yet she neither walked +nor ran. She went along quite smoothly and gracefully, while her feet +twinkled past each other so fast that you could not see which was +foremost; till every one asked the other who the strange woman was; and +all agreed, for want of anything better to say, that she must be in +league with Tom. + +But when she came to the plantation, they lost sight of her; and they +could do no less. For she went quietly over the wall after Tom, and +followed him wherever he went. Sir John and the rest saw no more of her; +and out of sight was out of mind. + +And now Tom was right away into the heather, over just such a moor as +those in which you have been bred, except that there were rocks and +stones lying about everywhere, and that, instead of the moor growing +flat as he went upwards, it grew more and more broken and hilly, but not +so rough but that little Tom could jog along well enough, and find time, +too, to stare about at the strange place, which was like a new world to +him. + +He saw great spiders there, with crowns and crosses marked on their +backs, who sat in the middle of their webs, and when they saw Tom +coming, shook them so fast that they became invisible. Then he saw +lizards, brown and grey and green, and thought they were snakes, and +would sting him; but they were as much frightened as he, and shot away +into the heath. And then, under a rock, he saw a pretty sight--a great +brown, sharp-nosed creature, with a white tag to her brush, and round +her four or five smutty little cubs, the funniest fellows Tom ever saw. +She lay on her back, rolling about, and stretching out her legs and head +and tail in the bright sunshine; and the cubs jumped over her, and ran +round her, and nibbled her paws, and lugged her about by the tail; and +she seemed to enjoy it mightily. But one selfish little fellow stole +away from the rest to a dead crow close by, and dragged it off to hide +it, though it was nearly as big as he was. Whereat all his little +brothers set off after him in full cry, and saw Tom; and then all ran +back, and up jumped Mrs. Vixen, and caught one up in her mouth, and the +rest toddled after her, and into a dark crack in the rocks; and there +was an end of the show. + +And next he had a fright; for, as he scrambled up a sandy +brow--whirr-poof-poof-cock-cock-kick--something went off in his face, +with a most horrid noise. He thought the ground had blown up, and the +end of the world come. + +And when he opened his eyes (for he shut them very tight) it was +only an old cock-grouse, who had been washing himself in sand, +like an Arab, for want of water; and who, when Tom had all but +trodden on him, jumped up with a noise like the express train, +leaving his wife and children to shift for themselves, like an +old coward, and went off, screaming "Cur-ru-u-uck, cur-ru-u-uck--murder, +thieves, fire--cur-u-uck-cock-kick--the end of the world is +come--kick-kick-cock-kick." He was always fancying that the end of the +world was come, when anything happened which was farther off than the +end of his own nose. But the end of the world was not come, any more +than the twelfth of August was; though the old grouse-cock was quite +certain of it. + +So the old grouse came back to his wife and family an hour afterwards, +and said solemnly, "Cock-cock-kick; my dears, the end of the world is +not quite come; but I assure you it is coming the day after +to-morrow--cock." But his wife had heard that so often that she knew all +about it, and a little more. And, besides, she was the mother of a +family, and had seven little poults to wash and feed every day; and that +made her very practical, and a little sharp-tempered; so all she +answered was: "Kick-kick-kick--go and catch spiders, go and catch +spiders--kick." + +So Tom went on and on, he hardly knew why; but he liked the great wide +strange place, and the cool fresh bracing air. But he went more and more +slowly as he got higher up the hill; for now the ground grew very bad +indeed. Instead of soft turf and springy heather, he met great patches +of flat limestone rock, just like ill-made pavements, with deep cracks +between the stones and ledges, filled with ferns; so he had to hop from +stone to stone, and now and then he slipped in between, and hurt his +little bare toes, though they were tolerably tough ones; but still he +would go on and up, he could not tell why. + +What would Tom have said if he had seen, walking over the moor behind +him, the very same Irishwoman who had taken his part upon the road? But +whether it was that he looked too little behind him, or whether it was +that she kept out of sight behind the rocks and knolls, he never saw +her, though she saw him. + +And now he began to get a little hungry, and very thirsty; for he had +run a long way, and the sun had risen high in heaven, and the rock was +as hot as an oven, and the air danced reels over it, as it does over a +limekiln, till everything round seemed quivering and melting in the +glare. + +But he could see nothing to eat anywhere, and still less to drink. + +The heath was full of bilberries and whimberries; but they were only in +flower yet, for it was June. And as for water, who can find that on the +top of a limestone rock? Now and then he passed by a deep dark +swallow-hole, going down into the earth, as if it was the chimney of +some dwarf's house underground; and more than once, as he passed, he +could hear water falling, trickling, tinkling, many many feet below. How +he longed to get down to it, and cool his poor baked lips! But, brave +little chimney-sweep as he was, he dared not climb down such chimneys as +those. + +So he went on and on, till his head spun round with the heat, and he +thought he heard church-bells ringing, a long way off. + +"Ah!" he thought, "where there is a church there will be houses and +people; and, perhaps, some one will give me a bit and a sup." So he set +off again, to look for the church; for he was sure that he heard the +bells quite plain. + +And in a minute more, when he looked round, he stopped again, and said, +"Why, what a big place the world is!" + +And so it was; for, from the top of the mountain he could see--what +could he not see? + +Behind him, far below, was Harthover, and the dark woods, and the +shining salmon river; and on his left, far below, was the town, and the +smoking chimneys of the collieries; and far, far away, the river widened +to the shining sea; and little white specks, which were ships, lay on +its bosom. Before him lay, spread out like a map, great plains, and +farms, and villages, amid dark knots of trees. They all seemed at his +very feet; but he had sense to see that they were long miles away. + +And to his right rose moor after moor, hill after hill, till they faded +away, blue into blue sky. But between him and those moors, and really at +his very feet, lay something, to which, as soon as Tom saw it, he +determined to go, for that was the place for him. + +A deep, deep green and rocky valley, very narrow, and filled with wood; +but through the wood, hundreds of feet below him, he could see a clear +stream glance. Oh, if he could but get down to that stream! Then, by the +stream, he saw the roof of a little cottage, and a little garden set out +in squares and beds. And there was a tiny little red thing moving in the +garden, no bigger than a fly. As Tom looked down, he saw that it was a +woman in a red petticoat. Ah! perhaps she would give him something to +eat. And there were the church-bells ringing again. Surely there must be +a village down there. Well, nobody would know him, or what had happened +at the Place. The news could not have got there yet, even if Sir John +had set all the policemen in the county after him; and he could get down +there in five minutes. + +Tom was quite right about the hue-and-cry not having got thither; for he +had come without knowing it, the best part of ten miles from Harthover; +but he was wrong about getting down in five minutes, for the cottage was +more than a mile off, and a good thousand feet below. + +[Illustration: "Play by me, bathe in me, mother and child."--_P. 32._] + +However, down he went, like a brave little man as he was, though he was +very footsore, and tired, and hungry, and thirsty; while the +church-bells rang so loud, he began to think that they must be inside +his own head, and the river chimed and tinkled far below; and this was +the song which it sang:-- + + _Clear and cool, clear and cool, + By laughing shallow, and dreaming pool; + Cool and clear, cool and clear, + By shining shingle, and foaming wear; + Under the crag where the ouzel sings, + And the ivied wall where the church-bell rings, + Undefiled, for the undefiled; + Play by me, bathe in me, mother and child._ + + _Dank and foul, dank and foul, + By the smoky town in its murky cowl; + Foul and dank, foul and dank, + By wharf and sewer and slimy bank; + Darker and darker the farther I go, + Baser and baser the richer I grow; + Who dare sport with the sin-defiled? + Shrink from me, turn from me, mother and child._ + + _Strong and free, strong and free, + The floodgates are open, away to the sea, + Free and strong, free and strong, + Cleansing my streams as I hurry along, + To the golden sands, and the leaping bar, + And the taintless tide that awaits me afar. + As I lose myself in the infinite main, + Like a soul that has sinned and is pardoned again. + Undefiled, for the undefiled; + Play by me, bathe in me, mother and child._ + +So Tom went down; and all the while he never saw the Irishwoman going +down behind him. + + "And is there care in heaven? and is there love + In heavenly spirits to these creatures base + That may compassion of their evils move? + There is:--else much more wretched were the case + Of men than beasts: But oh! the exceeding grace + Of Highest God that loves His creatures so, + And all His works with mercy doth embrace, + That blessed Angels He sends to and fro, + To serve to wicked man, to serve His wicked foe!" + + SPENSER. + + + + + +CHAPTER II + + +[Illustration: "A quiet, silent, rich, happy place."--_P. 35._] + +A MILE off, and a thousand feet down. + +So Tom found it; though it seemed as if he could have chucked a pebble +on to the back of the woman in the red petticoat who was weeding in the +garden, or even across the dale to the rocks beyond. For the bottom of +the valley was just one field broad, and on the other side ran the +stream; and above it, grey crag, grey down, grey stair, grey moor walled +up to heaven. + +A quiet, silent, rich, happy place; a narrow crack cut deep into the +earth; so deep, and so out of the way, that the bad bogies can hardly +find it out. The name of the place is Vendale; and if you want to see it +for yourself, you must go up into the High Craven, and search from +Bolland Forest north by Ingleborough, to the Nine Standards and Cross +Fell; and if you have not found it, you must turn south, and search the +Lake Mountains, down to Scaw Fell and the sea; and then, if you have not +found it, you must go northward again by merry Carlisle, and search the +Cheviots all across, from Annan Water to Berwick Law; and then, whether +you have found Vendale or not, you will have found such a country, and +such a people, as ought to make you proud of being a British boy. + +So Tom went to go down; and first he went down three hundred feet of +steep heather, mixed up with loose brown gritstone, as rough as a file; +which was not pleasant to his poor little heels, as he came bump, stump, +jump, down the steep. And still he thought he could throw a stone into +the garden. + +Then he went down three hundred feet of limestone terraces, one below +the other, as straight as if a carpenter had ruled them with his ruler +and then cut them out with his chisel. There was no heath there, but-- + +First, a little grass slope, covered with the prettiest flowers, +rockrose and saxifrage, and thyme and basil, and all sorts of sweet +herbs. + +Then bump down a two-foot step of limestone. + +Then another bit of grass and flowers. + +Then bump down a one-foot step. + +Then another bit of grass and flowers for fifty yards, as steep as the +house-roof, where he had to slide down on his dear little tail. + +Then another step of stone, ten feet high; and there he had to stop +himself, and crawl along the edge to find a crack; for if he had rolled +over, he would have rolled right into the old woman's garden, and +frightened her out of her wits. + +Then, when he had found a dark narrow crack, full of green-stalked fern, +such as hangs in the basket in the drawing-room, and had crawled down +through it, with knees and elbows, as he would down a chimney, there +was another grass slope, and another step, and so on, till--oh, dear me! +I wish it was all over; and so did he. And yet he thought he could throw +a stone into the old woman's garden. + +At last he came to a bank of beautiful shrubs; white-beam with its great +silver-backed leaves, and mountain-ash, and oak; and below them cliff +and crag, cliff and crag, with great beds of crown-ferns and wood-sedge; +while through the shrubs he could see the stream sparkling, and hear it +murmur on the white pebbles. He did not know that it was three hundred +feet below. + +You would have been giddy, perhaps, at looking down: but Tom was not. He +was a brave little chimney-sweep; and when he found himself on the top +of a high cliff, instead of sitting down and crying for his baba (though +he never had had any baba to cry for), he said, "Ah, this will just suit +me!" though he was very tired; and down he went, by stock and stone, +sedge and ledge, bush and rush, as if he had been born a jolly little +black ape, with four hands instead of two. + +And all the while he never saw the Irishwoman coming down behind him. + +But he was getting terribly tired now. The burning sun on the fells had +sucked him up; but the damp heat of the woody crag sucked him up still +more; and the perspiration ran out of the ends of his fingers and toes, +and washed him cleaner than he had been for a whole year. But, of +course, he dirtied everything terribly as he went. There has been a +great black smudge all down the crag ever since. And there have been +more black beetles in Vendale since than ever were known before; all, of +course, owing to Tom's having blacked the original papa of them all, +just as he was setting off to be married, with a sky-blue coat and +scarlet leggings, as smart as a gardener's dog with a polyanthus in his +mouth. + +At last he got to the bottom. But, behold, it was not the bottom--as +people usually find when they are coming down a mountain. For at the +foot of the crag were heaps and heaps of fallen limestone of every size +from that of your head to that of a stage-waggon, with holes between +them full of sweet heath-fern; and before Tom got through them, he was +out in the bright sunshine again; and then he felt, once for all and +suddenly, as people generally do, that he was b-e-a-t, beat. + +You must expect to be beat a few times in your life, little man, if you +live such a life as a man ought to live, let you be as strong and +healthy as you may: and when you are, you will find it a very ugly +feeling. I hope that that day you may have a stout staunch friend by you +who is not beat; for, if you have not, you had best lie where you are, +and wait for better times, as poor Tom did. + +He could not get on. The sun was burning, and yet he felt chill all +over. He was quite empty, and yet he felt quite sick. There was but two +hundred yards of smooth pasture between him and the cottage, and yet he +could not walk down it. He could hear the stream murmuring only one +field beyond it, and yet it seemed to him as if it was a hundred miles +off. + +He lay down on the grass till the beetles ran over him, and the flies +settled on his nose. I don't know when he would have got up again, if +the gnats and the midges had not taken compassion on him. But the gnats +blew their trumpets so loud in his ear, and the midges nibbled so at his +hands and face wherever they could find a place free from soot, that at +last he woke up, and stumbled away, down over a low wall, and into a +narrow road, and up to the cottage door. + +And a neat pretty cottage it was, with clipped yew hedges all round the +garden, and yews inside too, cut into peacocks and trumpets and teapots +and all kinds of queer shapes. And out of the open door came a noise +like that of the frogs on the Great-A, when they know that it is going +to be scorching hot to-morrow--and how they know that I don't know, and +you don't know, and nobody knows. + +He came slowly up to the open door, which was all hung round with +clematis and roses; and then peeped in, half afraid. + +And there sat by the empty fireplace, which was filled with a pot of +sweet herbs, the nicest old woman that ever was seen, in her red +petticoat, and short dimity bedgown, and clean white cap, with a black +silk handkerchief over it, tied under her chin. At her feet sat the +grandfather of all the cats; and opposite her sat, on two benches, +twelve or fourteen neat, rosy, chubby little children, learning their +Chris-cross-row; and gabble enough they made about it. + +Such a pleasant cottage it was, with a shiny clean stone floor, and +curious old prints on the walls, and an old black oak sideboard full of +bright pewter and brass dishes, and a cuckoo clock in the corner, which +began shouting as soon as Tom appeared: not that it was frightened at +Tom, but that it was just eleven o'clock. + +All the children started at Tom's dirty black figure,--the girls began +to cry, and the boys began to laugh, and all pointed at him rudely +enough; but Tom was too tired to care for that. + +"What art thou, and what dost want?" cried the old dame. "A +chimney-sweep! Away with thee! I'll have no sweeps here." + +"Water," said poor little Tom, quite faint. + +"Water? There's plenty i' the beck," she said, quite sharply. + +"But I can't get there; I'm most clemmed with hunger and drought." And +Tom sank down upon the door-step, and laid his head against the post. + +And the old dame looked at him through her spectacles one minute, and +two, and three; and then she said, "He's sick; and a bairn's a bairn, +sweep or none." + +"Water," said Tom. + +"God forgive me!" and she put by her spectacles, and rose, and came to +Tom. "Water's bad for thee; I'll give thee milk." And she toddled off +into the next room, and brought a cup of milk and a bit of bread. + +Tom drank the milk off at one draught, and then looked up, revived. + +"Where didst come from?" said the dame. + +"Over Fell, there," said Tom, and pointed up into the sky. + +"Over Harthover? and down Lewthwaite Crag? Art sure thou art not lying?" + +"Why should I?" said Tom, and leant his head against the post. + +"And how got ye up there?" + +"I came over from the Place"; and Tom was so tired and desperate he had +no heart or time to think of a story, so he told all the truth in a few +words. + +"Bless thy little heart! And thou hast not been stealing, then?" + +"No." + +"Bless thy little heart! and I'll warrant not. Why, God's guided the +bairn, because he was innocent! Away from the Place, and over Harthover +Fell, and down Lewthwaite Crag! Who ever heard the like, if God hadn't +led him? Why dost not eat thy bread?" + +"I can't." + +"It's good enough, for I made it myself." + +"I can't," said Tom, and he laid his head on his knees, and then asked-- + +"Is it Sunday?" + +"No, then; why should it be?" + +"Because I hear the church-bells ringing so." + +"Bless thy pretty heart! The bairn's sick. Come wi' me, and I'll hap +thee up somewhere. If thou wert a bit cleaner I'd put thee in my own +bed, for the Lord's sake. But come along here." + +But when Tom tried to get up, he was so tired and giddy that she had to +help him and lead him. + +She put him in an outhouse upon soft sweet hay and an old rug, and bade +him sleep off his walk, and she would come to him when school was over, +in an hour's time. + +And so she went in again, expecting Tom to fall fast asleep at once. + +But Tom did not fall asleep. + +Instead of it he turned and tossed and kicked about in the strangest +way, and felt so hot all over that he longed to get into the river and +cool himself; and then he fell half asleep, and dreamt that he heard the +little white lady crying to him, "Oh, you're so dirty; go and be +washed"; and then that he heard the Irishwoman saying, "Those that wish +to be clean, clean they will be." And then he heard the church-bells +ring so loud, close to him too, that he was sure it must be Sunday, in +spite of what the old dame had said; and he would go to church, and see +what a church was like inside, for he had never been in one, poor little +fellow, in all his life. But the people would never let him come in, all +over soot and dirt like that. He must go to the river and wash first. +And he said out loud again and again, though being half asleep he did +not know it, "I must be clean, I must be clean." + +And all of a sudden he found himself, not in the outhouse on the hay, +but in the middle of a meadow, over the road, with the stream just +before him, saying continually, "I must be clean, I must be clean." He +had got there on his own legs, between sleep and awake, as children will +often get out of bed, and go about the room, when they are not quite +well. But he was not a bit surprised, and went on to the bank of the +brook, and lay down on the grass, and looked into the clear, clear +limestone water, with every pebble at the bottom bright and clean, while +the little silver trout dashed about in fright at the sight of his black +face; and he dipped his hand in and found it so cool, cool, cool; and he +said, "I will be a fish; I will swim in the water; I must be clean, I +must be clean." + +So he pulled off all his clothes in such haste that he tore some of +them, which was easy enough with such ragged old things. And he put his +poor hot sore feet into the water; and then his legs; and the farther he +went in, the more the church-bells rang in his head. + +"Ah," said Tom, "I must be quick and wash myself; the bells are ringing +quite loud now; and they will stop soon, and then the door will be shut, +and I shall never be able to get in at all." + +Tom was mistaken: for in England the church doors are left open all +service time, for everybody who likes to come in, Churchman or +Dissenter; ay, even if he were a Turk or a Heathen; and if any man dared +to turn him out, as long as he behaved quietly, the good old English law +would punish that man, as he deserved, for ordering any peaceable person +out of God's house, which belongs to all alike. But Tom did not know +that, any more than he knew a great deal more which people ought to +know. + +[Illustration: "She was the Queen of them all."--_P. 44._] + +And all the while he never saw the Irishwoman, not behind him this time, +but before. + +For just before he came to the river side, she had stept down into the +cool clear water; and her shawl and her petticoat floated off her, and +the green water-weeds floated round her sides, and the white +water-lilies floated round her head, and the fairies of the stream came +up from the bottom and bore her away and down upon their arms; for she +was the Queen of them all; and perhaps of more besides. + +"Where have you been?" they asked her. + +"I have been smoothing sick folks' pillows, and whispering sweet dreams +into their ears; opening cottage casements, to let out the stifling air; +coaxing little children away from gutters, and foul pools where fever +breeds; turning women from the gin-shop door, and staying men's hands as +they were going to strike their wives; doing all I can to help those who +will not help themselves; and little enough that is, and weary work for +me. But I have brought you a new little brother, and watched him safe +all the way here." + +Then all the fairies laughed for joy at the thought that they had a +little brother coming. + +"But mind, maidens, he must not see you, or know that you are here. He +is but a savage now, and like the beasts which perish; and from the +beasts which perish he must learn. So you must not play with him, or +speak to him, or let him see you: but only keep him from being harmed." + +Then the fairies were sad, because they could not play with their new +brother, but they always did what they were told. + +And their Queen floated away down the river; and whither she went, +thither she came. But all this Tom, of course, never saw or heard: and +perhaps if he had it would have made little difference in the story; for +he was so hot and thirsty, and longed so to be clean for once, that he +tumbled himself as quick as he could into the clear cool stream. + +And he had not been in it two minutes before he fell fast asleep, into +the quietest, sunniest, cosiest sleep that ever he had in his life; and +he dreamt about the green meadows by which he had walked that morning, +and the tall elm-trees, and the sleeping cows; and after that he dreamt +of nothing at all. + +The reason of his falling into such a delightful sleep is very simple; +and yet hardly any one has found it out. It was merely that the fairies +took him. + +Some people think that there are no fairies. Cousin Cramchild tells +little folks so in his Conversations. Well, perhaps there are none--in +Boston, U.S., where he was raised. There are only a clumsy lot of +spirits there, who can't make people hear without thumping on the table: +but they get their living thereby, and I suppose that is all they want. +And Aunt Agitate, in her Arguments on political economy, says there are +none. Well, perhaps there are none--in her political economy. But it is +a wide world, my little man--and thank Heaven for it, for else, between +crinolines and theories, some of us would get squashed--and plenty of +room in it for fairies, without people seeing them; unless, of course, +they look in the right place. The most wonderful and the strongest +things in the world, you know, are just the things which no one can see. +There is life in you; and it is the life in you which makes you grow, +and move, and think: and yet you can't see it. And there is steam in a +steam-engine; and that is what makes it move: and yet you can't see it; +and so there may be fairies in the world, and they may be just what +makes the world go round to the old tune of + + "_C'est l'amour, l'amour, l'amour + Qui fait le monde à la ronde:_" + +and yet no one may be able to see them except those whose hearts are +going round to that same tune. At all events, we will make believe that +there are fairies in the world. It will not be the last time by many a +one that we shall have to make believe. And yet, after all, there is no +need for that. There must be fairies; for this is a fairy tale: and how +can one have a fairy tale if there are no fairies? + +You don't see the logic of that? Perhaps not. Then please not to see the +logic of a great many arguments exactly like it, which you will hear +before your beard is grey. + +The kind old dame came back at twelve, when school was over, to look at +Tom: but there was no Tom there. She looked about for his footprints; +but the ground was so hard that there was no slot, as they say in dear +old North Devon. And if you grow up to be a brave healthy man, you may +know some day what no slot means, and know too, I hope, what a slot does +mean--a broad slot, with blunt claws, which makes a man put out his +cigar, and set his teeth, and tighten his girths, when he sees it; and +what his rights mean, if he has them, brow, bay, tray, and points; and +see something worth seeing between Haddon Wood and Countisbury Cliff, +with good Mr. Palk Collyns to show you the way, and mend your bones as +fast as you smash them. Only when that jolly day comes, please don't +break your neck; stogged in a mire you never will be, I trust; for you +are a heath-cropper bred and born. + +So the old dame went in again quite sulky, thinking that little Tom had +tricked her with a false story, and shammed ill, and then run away +again. + +But she altered her mind the next day. For, when Sir John and the rest +of them had run themselves out of breath, and lost Tom, they went back +again, looking very foolish. + +And they looked more foolish still when Sir John heard more of the story +from the nurse; and more foolish still, again, when they heard the whole +story from Miss Ellie, the little lady in white. All she had seen was a +poor little black chimney-sweep, crying and sobbing, and going to get +up the chimney again. Of course, she was very much frightened: and no +wonder. But that was all. The boy had taken nothing in the room; by the +mark of his little sooty feet, they could see that he had never been off +the hearthrug till the nurse caught hold of him. It was all a mistake. + +So Sir John told Grimes to go home, and promised him five shillings if +he would bring the boy quietly up to him, without beating him, that he +might be sure of the truth. For he took for granted, and Grimes too, +that Tom had made his way home. + +But no Tom came back to Mr. Grimes that evening; and he went to the +police-office, to tell them to look out for the boy. But no Tom was +heard of. As for his having gone over those great fells to Vendale, they +no more dreamed of that than of his having gone to the moon. + +So Mr. Grimes came up to Harthover next day with a very sour face; but +when he got there, Sir John was over the hills and far away; and Mr. +Grimes had to sit in the outer servants' hall all day, and drink strong +ale to wash away his sorrows; and they were washed away long before Sir +John came back. + +For good Sir John had slept very badly that night; and he said to his +lady, "My dear, the boy must have got over into the grouse-moors, and +lost himself; and he lies very heavily on my conscience, poor little +lad. But I know what I will do." + +So, at five the next morning up he got, and into his bath, and into his +shooting-jacket and gaiters, and into the stableyard, like a fine old +English gentleman, with a face as red as a rose, and a hand as hard as a +table, and a back as broad as a bullock's; and bade them bring his +shooting pony, and the keeper to come on his pony, and the huntsman, and +the first whip, and the second whip, and the under-keeper with the +bloodhound in a leash--a great dog as tall as a calf, of the colour of a +gravel-walk, with mahogany ears and nose, and a throat like a +church-bell. They took him up to the place where Tom had gone into the +wood; and there the hound lifted up his mighty voice, and told them all +he knew. + +Then he took them to the place where Tom had climbed the wall; and they +shoved it down, and all got through. + +And then the wise dog took them over the moor, and over the fells, step +by step, very slowly; for the scent was a day old, you know, and very +light from the heat and drought. But that was why cunning old Sir John +started at five in the morning. + +And at last he came to the top of Lewthwaite Crag, and there he bayed, +and looked up in their faces, as much as to say, "I tell you he is gone +down here!" + +They could hardly believe that Tom would have gone so far; and when they +looked at that awful cliff, they could never believe that he would have +dared to face it. But if the dog said so, it must be true. + +"Heaven forgive us!" said Sir John. "If we find him at all, we shall +find him lying at the bottom." And he slapped his great hand upon his +great thigh, and said-- + +"Who will go down over Lewthwaite Crag, and see if that boy is alive? Oh +that I were twenty years younger, and I would go down myself!" And so he +would have done, as well as any sweep in the county. Then he said-- + +"Twenty pounds to the man who brings me that boy alive!" and as was his +way, what he said he meant. + +Now among the lot was a little groom-boy, a very little groom indeed; +and he was the same who had ridden up the court, and told Tom to come to +the Hall; and he said-- + +"Twenty pounds or none, I will go down over Lewthwaite Crag, if it's +only for the poor boy's sake. For he was as civil a spoken little chap +as ever climbed a flue." + +So down over Lewthwaite Crag he went: a very smart groom he was at the +top, and a very shabby one at the bottom; for he tore his gaiters, and +he tore his breeches, and he tore his jacket, and he burst his braces, +and he burst his boots, and he lost his hat, and what was worst of all, +he lost his shirt pin, which he prized very much, for it was gold, and +he had won it in a raffle at Malton, and there was a figure at the top +of it, of t'ould mare, noble old Beeswing herself, as natural as life; +so it was a really severe loss: but he never saw anything of Tom. + +And all the while Sir John and the rest were riding round, full three +miles to the right, and back again, to get into Vendale, and to the foot +of the crag. + +When they came to the old dame's school, all the children came out to +see. And the old dame came out too; and when she saw Sir John, she +curtsied very low, for she was a tenant of his. + +"Well, dame, and how are you?" said Sir John. + +"Blessings on you as broad as your back, Harthover," says she--she +didn't call him Sir John, but only Harthover, for that is the fashion in +the North country--"and welcome into Vendale: but you're no hunting the +fox this time of the year?" + +"I am hunting, and strange game too," said he. + +"Blessings on your heart, and what makes you look so sad the morn?" + +"I'm looking for a lost child, a chimney-sweep, that is run away." + +"Oh, Harthover, Harthover," says she, "ye were always a just man and a +merciful; and ye'll no harm the poor little lad if I give you tidings of +him?" + +"Not I, not I, dame. I'm afraid we hunted him out of the house all on a +miserable mistake, and the hound has brought him to the top of +Lewthwaite Crag, and----" + +Whereat the old dame broke out crying, without letting him finish his +story. + +"So he told me the truth after all, poor little dear! Ah, first +thoughts are best, and a body's heart'll guide them right, if they will +but hearken to it." And then she told Sir John all. + +"Bring the dog here, and lay him on," said Sir John, without another +word, and he set his teeth very hard. + +And the dog opened at once; and went away at the back of the cottage, +over the road, and over the meadow, and through a bit of alder copse; +and there, upon an alder stump, they saw Tom's clothes lying. And then +they knew as much about it all as there was any need to know. + +And Tom? + +Ah, now comes the most wonderful part of this wonderful story. Tom, when +he woke, for of course he woke--children always wake after they have +slept exactly as long as is good for them--found himself swimming about +in the stream, being about four inches, or--that I may be +accurate--3.87902 inches long, and having round the parotid region of +his fauces a set of external gills (I hope you understand all the big +words) just like those of a sucking eft, which he mistook for a lace +frill, till he pulled at them, found he hurt himself, and made up his +mind that they were part of himself, and best left alone. + +In fact, the fairies had turned him into a water-baby. + +A water-baby? You never heard of a water-baby. Perhaps not. That is the +very reason why this story was written. There are a great many things in +the world which you never heard of; and a great many more which nobody +ever heard of; and a great many things, too, which nobody will ever hear +of, at least until the coming of the Cocqcigrues, when man shall be the +measure of all things. + +"But there are no such things as water-babies." + +How do you know that? Have you been there to see? And if you had been +there to see, and had seen none, that would not prove that there were +none. If Mr. Garth does not find a fox in Eversley Wood--as folks +sometimes fear he never will--that does not prove that there are no such +things as foxes. And as is Eversley Wood to all the woods in England, so +are the waters we know to all the waters in the world. And no one has a +right to say that no water-babies exist, till they have seen no +water-babies existing; which is quite a different thing, mind, from not +seeing water-babies; and a thing which nobody ever did, or perhaps ever +will do. + +"But surely if there were water-babies, somebody would have caught one +at least?" + +Well. How do you know that somebody has not? + +"But they would have put it into spirits, or into the _Illustrated +News_, or perhaps cut it into two halves, poor dear little thing, and +sent one to Professor Owen, and one to Professor Huxley, to see what +they would each say about it." + +Ah, my dear little man! that does not follow at all, as you will see +before the end of the story. + +"But a water-baby is contrary to nature." + +Well, but, my dear little man, you must learn to talk about such things, +when you grow older, in a very different way from that. You must not +talk about "ain't" and "can't" when you speak of this great wonderful +world round you, of which the wisest man knows only the very smallest +corner, and is, as the great Sir Isaac Newton said, only a child picking +up pebbles on the shore of a boundless ocean. + +You must not say that this cannot be, or that that is contrary to +nature. You do not know what Nature is, or what she can do; and nobody +knows; not even Sir Roderick Murchison, or Professor Owen, or Professor +Sedgwick, or Professor Huxley, or Mr. Darwin, or Professor Faraday, or +Mr. Grove, or any other of the great men whom good boys are taught to +respect. They are very wise men; and you must listen respectfully to all +they say: but even if they should say, which I am sure they never would, +"That cannot exist. That is contrary to nature," you must wait a little, +and see; for perhaps even they may be wrong. It is only children who +read Aunt Agitate's Arguments, or Cousin Cramchild's Conversations; or +lads who go to popular lectures, and see a man pointing at a few big +ugly pictures on the wall, or making nasty smells with bottles and +squirts, for an hour or two, and calling that anatomy or chemistry--who +talk about "cannot exist," and "contrary to nature." Wise men are afraid +to say that there is anything contrary to nature, except what is +contrary to mathematical truth; for two and two cannot make five, and +two straight lines cannot join twice, and a part cannot be as great as +the whole, and so on (at least, so it seems at present): but the wiser +men are, the less they talk about "cannot." That is a very rash, +dangerous word, that "cannot"; and if people use it too often, the Queen +of all the Fairies, who makes the clouds thunder and the fleas bite, and +takes just as much trouble about one as about the other, is apt to +astonish them suddenly by showing them, that though they say she cannot, +yet she can, and what is more, will, whether they approve or not. + +And therefore it is, that there are dozens and hundreds of things in the +world which we should certainly have said were contrary to nature, if we +did not see them going on under our eyes all day long. If people had +never seen little seeds grow into great plants and trees, of quite +different shape from themselves, and these trees again produce fresh +seeds, to grow into fresh trees, they would have said, "The thing cannot +be; it is contrary to nature." And they would have been quite as right +in saying so, as in saying that most other things cannot be. + +Or suppose again, that you had come, like M. Du Chaillu, a traveller +from unknown parts; and that no human being had ever seen or heard of an +elephant. And suppose that you described him to people, and said, "This +is the shape, and plan, and anatomy of the beast, and of his feet, and +of his trunk, and of his grinders, and of his tusks, though they are +not tusks at all, but two fore teeth run mad; and this is the section of +his skull, more like a mushroom than a reasonable skull of a reasonable +or unreasonable beast; and so forth, and so forth; and though the beast +(which I assure you I have seen and shot) is first cousin to the little +hairy coney of Scripture, second cousin to a pig, and (I suspect) +thirteenth or fourteenth cousin to a rabbit, yet he is the wisest of all +beasts, and can do everything save read, write, and cast accounts." +People would surely have said, "Nonsense; your elephant is contrary to +nature"; and have thought you were telling stories--as the French +thought of Le Vaillant when he came back to Paris and said that he had +shot a giraffe; and as the king of the Cannibal Islands thought of the +English sailor, when he said that in his country water turned to marble, +and rain fell as feathers. They would tell you, the more they knew of +science, "Your elephant is an impossible monster, contrary to the laws +of comparative anatomy, as far as yet known." To which you would answer +the less, the more you thought. + +Did not learned men, too, hold, till within the last twenty-five years, +that a flying dragon was an impossible monster? And do we not now know +that there are hundreds of them found fossil up and down the world? +People call them Pterodactyles: but that is only because they are +ashamed to call them flying dragons, after denying so long that flying +dragons could exist. + +The truth is, that folks' fancy that such and such things cannot be, +simply because they have not seen them, is worth no more than a savage's +fancy that there cannot be such a thing as a locomotive, because he +never saw one running wild in the forest. Wise men know that their +business is to examine what is, and not to settle what is not. They know +that there are elephants; they know that there have been flying dragons; +and the wiser they are, the less inclined they will be to say positively +that there are no water-babies. + +No water-babies, indeed? Why, wise men of old said that everything on +earth had its double in the water; and you may see that that is, if not +quite true, still quite as true as most other theories which you are +likely to hear for many a day. There are land-babies--then why not +water-babies? _Are there not water-rats, water-flies, water-crickets, +water-crabs, water-tortoises, water-scorpions, water-tigers and +water-hogs, water-cats and water-dogs, sea-lions and sea-bears, +sea-horses and sea-elephants, sea-mice and sea-urchins, sea-razors and +sea-pens, sea-combs and sea-fans; and of plants, are there not +water-grass, and water-crowfoot, water-milfoil, and so on, without end?_ + +"But all these things are only nicknames; the water things are not +really akin to the land things." + +That's not always true. They are, in millions of cases, not only of the +same family, but actually the same individual creatures. Do not even you +know that a green drake, and an alder-fly, and a dragon-fly, live under +water till they change their skins, just as Tom changed his? And if a +water animal can continually change into a land animal, why should not +a land animal sometimes change into a water animal? Don't be put down by +any of Cousin Cramchild's arguments, but stand up to him like a man, and +answer him (quite respectfully, of course) thus:-- + +If Cousin Cramchild says, that if there are water-babies, they must grow +into water-men, ask him how he knows that they do not? and then, how he +knows that they must, any more than the Proteus of the Adelsberg caverns +grows into a perfect newt. + +If he says that it is too strange a transformation for a land-baby to +turn into a water-baby, ask him if he ever heard of the transformation +of Syllis, or the Distomas, or the common jelly-fish, of which M. +Quatrefages says excellently well--"Who would not exclaim that a miracle +had come to pass, if he saw a reptile come out of the egg dropped by the +hen in his poultry-yard, and the reptile give birth at once to an +indefinite number of fishes and birds? Yet the history of the jelly-fish +is quite as wonderful as that would be." Ask him if he knows about all +this; and if he does not, tell him to go and look for himself; and +advise him (very respectfully, of course) to settle no more what strange +things cannot happen, till he has seen what strange things do happen +every day. + +If he says that things cannot degrade, that is, change downwards into +lower forms, ask him, who told him that water-babies were lower than +land-babies? But even if they were, does he know about the strange +degradation of the common goose-barnacles, which one finds sticking on +ships' bottoms; or the still stranger degradation of some cousins of +theirs, of which one hardly likes to talk, so shocking and ugly it is? + +And, lastly, if he says (as he most certainly will) that these +transformations only take place in the lower animals, and not in the +higher, say that that seems to little boys, and to some grown people, a +very strange fancy. For if the changes of the lower animals are so +wonderful, and so difficult to discover, why should not there be changes +in the higher animals far more wonderful, and far more difficult to +discover? And may not man, the crown and flower of all things, undergo +some change as much more wonderful than all the rest, as the Great +Exhibition is more wonderful than a rabbit-burrow? Let him answer that. +And if he says (as he will) that not having seen such a change in his +experience, he is not bound to believe it, ask him respectfully, where +his microscope has been? Does not each of us, in coming into this world, +go through a transformation just as wonderful as that of a sea-egg, or a +butterfly? and do not reason and analogy, as well as Scripture, tell us +that that transformation is not the last? and that, though what we shall +be, we know not, yet we are here but as the crawling caterpillar, and +shall be hereafter as the perfect fly. The old Greeks, heathens as they +were, saw as much as that two thousand years ago; and I care very little +for Cousin Cramchild, if he sees even less than they. And so forth, and +so forth, till he is quite cross. And then tell him that if there are +no water-babies, at least there ought to be; and that, at least, he +cannot answer. + +And meanwhile, my dear little man, till you know a great deal more about +nature than Professor Owen and Professor Huxley put together, don't tell +me about what cannot be, or fancy that anything is too wonderful to be +true. "We are fearfully and wonderfully made," said old David; and so we +are; and so is everything around us, down to the very deal table. Yes; +much more fearfully and wonderfully made, already, is the table, as it +stands now, nothing but a piece of dead deal wood, than if, as foxes +say, and geese believe, spirits could make it dance, or talk to you by +rapping on it. + +Am I in earnest? Oh dear no! Don't you know that this is a fairy tale, +and all fun and pretence; and that you are not to believe one word of +it, even if it is true? + +But at all events, so it happened to Tom. And, therefore, the keeper, +and the groom, and Sir John made a great mistake, and were very unhappy +(Sir John at least) without any reason, when they found a black thing in +the water, and said it was Tom's body, and that he had been drowned. +They were utterly mistaken. Tom was quite alive; and cleaner, and +merrier, than he ever had been. The fairies had washed him, you see, in +the swift river, so thoroughly, that not only his dirt, but his whole +husk and shell had been washed quite off him, and the pretty little real +Tom was washed out of the inside of it, and swam away, as a caddis does +when its case of stones and silk is bored through, and away it goes on +its back, paddling to the shore, there to split its skin, and fly away +as a caperer, on four fawn-coloured wings, with long legs and horns. +They are foolish fellows, the caperers, and fly into the candle at +night, if you leave the door open. We will hope Tom will be wiser, now +he has got safe out of his sooty old shell. + +But good Sir John did not understand all this, not being a fellow of the +Linnæan Society; and he took it into his head that Tom was drowned. When +they looked into the empty pockets of his shell, and found no jewels +there, nor money--nothing but three marbles, and a brass button with a +string to it--then Sir John did something as like crying as ever he did +in his life, and blamed himself more bitterly than he need have done. So +he cried, and the groom-boy cried, and the huntsman cried, and the dame +cried, and the little girl cried, and the dairymaid cried, and the old +nurse cried (for it was somewhat her fault), and my lady cried, for +though people have wigs, that is no reason why they should not have +hearts; but the keeper did not cry, though he had been so good-natured +to Tom the morning before; for he was so dried up with running after +poachers, that you could no more get tears out of him than milk out of +leather: and Grimes did not cry, for Sir John gave him ten pounds, and +he drank it all in a week. Sir John sent, far and wide, to find Tom's +father and mother: but he might have looked till Doomsday for them, for +one was dead, and the other was in Botany Bay. And the little girl would +not play with her dolls for a whole week, and never forgot poor little +Tom. And soon my lady put a pretty little tombstone over Tom's shell in +the little churchyard in Vendale, where the old dalesmen all sleep side +by side between the limestone crags. And the dame decked it with +garlands every Sunday, till she grew so old that she could not stir +abroad; then the little children decked it for her. And always she sang +an old old song, as she sat spinning what she called her wedding-dress. +The children could not understand it, but they liked it none the less +for that; for it was very sweet, and very sad; and that was enough for +them. And these are the words of it:-- + + _When all the world is young, lad, + And all the trees are green; + And every goose a swan, lad, + And every lass a queen; + Then hey for boot and horse, lad, + And round the world away; + Young blood must have its course, lad, + And every dog his day._ + + _When all the world is old, lad, + And all the trees are brown; + And all the sport is stale, lad, + And all the wheels run down; + Creep home, and take your place there, + The spent and maimed among: + God grant you find one face there, + You loved when all was young._ + +Those are the words: but they are only the body of it: the soul of the +song was the dear old woman's sweet face, and sweet voice, and the sweet +old air to which she sang; and that, alas! one cannot put on paper. And +at last she grew so stiff and lame, that the angels were forced to carry +her; and they helped her on with her wedding-dress, and carried her up +over Harthover Fells, and a long way beyond that too; and there was a +new schoolmistress in Vendale, and we will hope that she was not +certificated. + +And all the while Tom was swimming about in the river, with a pretty +little lace-collar of gills about his neck, as lively as a grig, and as +clean as a fresh-run salmon. + +Now if you don't like my story, then go to the schoolroom and learn your +multiplication-table, and see if you like that better. Some people, no +doubt, would do so. So much the better for us, if not for them. It takes +all sorts, they say, to make a world. + + "He prayeth well who loveth well + Both men and bird and beast; + He prayeth best who loveth best + All things both great and small: + For the dear God who loveth us, + He made and loveth all." + + COLERIDGE. + + + + + +CHAPTER III + + +TOM was now quite amphibious. You do not know what that means? + +You had better, then, ask the nearest Government pupil-teacher, who may +possibly answer you smartly enough, thus-- + +"Amphibious. Adjective, derived from two Greek words, _amphi_, a fish, +and _bios_, a beast. An animal supposed by our ignorant ancestors to be +compounded of a fish and a beast; which therefore, like the +hippopotamus, can't live on the land, and dies in the water." + +However that may be, Tom was amphibious: and what is better still, he +was clean. For the first time in his life, he felt how comfortable it +was to have nothing on him but himself. But he only enjoyed it: he did +not know it, or think about it; just as you enjoy life and health, and +yet never think about being alive and healthy; and may it be long before +you have to think about it! + +He did not remember having ever been dirty. Indeed, he did not remember +any of his old troubles, being tired, or hungry, or beaten, or sent up +dark chimneys. Since that sweet sleep, he had forgotten all about his +master, and Harthover Place, and the little white girl, and in a word, +all that had happened to him when he lived before; and what was best of +all, he had forgotten all the bad words which he had learned from +Grimes, and the rude boys with whom he used to play. + +That is not strange: for you know, when you came into this world, and +became a land-baby, you remembered nothing. So why should he, when he +became a water-baby? + +Then have you lived before? + +My dear child, who can tell? One can only tell that, by remembering +something which happened where we lived before; and as we remember +nothing, we know nothing about it; and no book, and no man, can ever +tell us certainly. + +There was a wise man once, a very wise man, and a very good man, who +wrote a poem about the feelings which some children have about having +lived before; and this is what he said-- + + "_Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting; + The soul that rises with us, our life's star, + Hath elsewhere had its setting, + And cometh from afar: + Not in entire forgetfulness, + And not in utter nakedness, + But trailing clouds of glory, do we come + From God, who is our home._" + +There, you can know no more than that. But if I was you, I would believe +that. For then the great fairy Science, who is likely to be queen of +all the fairies for many a year to come, can only do you good, and never +do you harm; and instead of fancying, with some people, that your body +makes your soul, as if a steam-engine could make its own coke; or, with +some people, that your soul has nothing to do with your body, but is +only stuck into it like a pin into a pin-cushion, to fall out with the +first shake;--you will believe the one true, + + _orthodox_, _inductive_, + _rational_, _deductive_, + _philosophical_, _seductive_, + _logical_, _productive_, + _irrefragable_, _salutary_, + _nominalistic_, _comfortable_, + _realistic_, + _and on-all-accounts-to-be-received_ + +doctrine of this wonderful fairy tale; which is, that your soul makes +your body, just as a snail makes his shell. For the rest, it is enough +for us to be sure that whether or not we lived before, we shall live +again; though not, I hope, as poor little heathen Tom did. For he went +downward into the water: but we, I hope, shall go upward to a very +different place. + +But Tom was very happy in the water. He had been sadly overworked in the +land-world; and so now, to make up for that, he had nothing but holidays +in the water-world for a long, long time to come. He had nothing to do +now but enjoy himself, and look at all the pretty things which are to +be seen in the cool clear water-world, where the sun is never too hot, +and the frost is never too cold. + +And what did he live on? Water-cresses, perhaps; or perhaps water-gruel, +and water-milk; too many land-babies do so likewise. But we do not know +what one-tenth of the water-things eat; so we are not answerable for the +water-babies. + +Sometimes he went along the smooth gravel water-ways, looking at the +crickets which ran in and out among the stones, as rabbits do on land; +or he climbed over the ledges of rock, and saw the sand-pipes hanging in +thousands, with every one of them a pretty little head and legs peeping +out; or he went into a still corner, and watched the caddises eating +dead sticks as greedily as you would eat plum-pudding, and building +their houses with silk and glue. Very fanciful ladies they were; none of +them would keep to the same materials for a day. One would begin with +some pebbles; then she would stick on a piece of green wood; then she +found a shell, and stuck it on too; and the poor shell was alive, and +did not like at all being taken to build houses with: but the caddis did +not let him have any voice in the matter, being rude and selfish, as +vain people are apt to be; then she stuck on a piece of rotten wood, +then a very smart pink stone, and so on, till she was patched all over +like an Irishman's coat. Then she found a long straw, five times as long +as herself, and said, "Hurrah! my sister has a tail, and I'll have one +too"; and she stuck it on her back, and marched about with it quite +proud, though it was very inconvenient indeed. And, at that, tails +became all the fashion among the caddis-baits in that pool, as they were +at the end of the Long Pond last May, and they all toddled about with +long straws sticking out behind, getting between each other's legs, and +tumbling over each other, and looking so ridiculous, that Tom laughed at +them till he cried, as we did. But they were quite right, you know; for +people must always follow the fashion, even if it be spoon-bonnets. + +Then sometimes he came to a deep still reach; and there he saw the +water-forests. They would have looked to you only little weeds: but Tom, +you must remember, was so little that everything looked a hundred times +as big to him as it does to you, just as things do to a minnow, who sees +and catches the little water-creatures which you can only see in a +microscope. + +And in the water-forest he saw the water-monkeys and water-squirrels +(they had all six legs, though; everything almost has six legs in the +water, except efts and water-babies); and nimbly enough they ran among +the branches. There were water-flowers there too, in thousands; and Tom +tried to pick them: but as soon as he touched them, they drew themselves +in and turned into knots of jelly; and then Tom saw that they were all +alive--bells, and stars, and wheels, and flowers, of all beautiful +shapes and colours; and all alive and busy, just as Tom was. So now he +found that there was a great deal more in the world than he had fancied +at first sight. + +There was one wonderful little fellow, too, who peeped out of the top of +a house built of round bricks. He had two big wheels, and one little +one, all over teeth, spinning round and round like the wheels in a +thrashing-machine; and Tom stood and stared at him, to see what he was +going to make with his machinery. And what do you think he was doing? +Brick-making. With his two big wheels he swept together all the mud +which floated in the water: all that was nice in it he put into his +stomach and ate; and all the mud he put into the little wheel on his +breast, which really was a round hole set with teeth; and there he spun +it into a neat hard round brick; and then he took it and stuck it on the +top of his house-wall, and set to work to make another. Now was not he a +clever little fellow? + +Tom thought so: but when he wanted to talk to him the brick-maker was +much too busy and proud of his work to take notice of him. + +Now you must know that all the things under the water talk; only not +such a language as ours; but such as horses, and dogs, and cows, and +birds talk to each other; and Tom soon learned to understand them and +talk to them; so that he might have had very pleasant company if he had +only been a good boy. But I am sorry to say, he was too like some other +little boys, very fond of hunting and tormenting creatures for mere +sport. Some people say that boys cannot help it; that it is nature, and +only a proof that we are all originally descended from beasts of prey. +But whether it is nature or not, little boys can help it, and must help +it. For if they have naughty, low, mischievous tricks in their nature, +as monkeys have, that is no reason why they should give way to those +tricks like monkeys, who know no better. And therefore they must not +torment dumb creatures; for if they do, a certain old lady who is coming +will surely give them exactly what they deserve. + +But Tom did not know that; and he pecked and howked the poor +water-things about sadly, till they were all afraid of him, and got out +of his way, or crept into their shells; so he had no one to speak to or +play with. + +The water-fairies, of course, were very sorry to see him so unhappy, and +longed to take him, and tell him how naughty he was, and teach him to be +good, and to play and romp with him too: but they had been forbidden to +do that. Tom had to learn his lesson for himself by sound and sharp +experience, as many another foolish person has to do, though there may +be many a kind heart yearning over them all the while, and longing to +teach them what they can only teach themselves. + +At last one day he found a caddis, and wanted it to peep out of its +house: but its house-door was shut. He had never seen a caddis with a +house-door before: so what must he do, the meddlesome little fellow, but +pull it open, to see what the poor lady was doing inside. What a shame! +How should you like to have any one breaking your bedroom-door in, to +see how you looked when you were in bed? So Tom broke to pieces the +door, which was the prettiest little grating of silk, stuck all over +with shining bits of crystal; and when he looked in, the caddis poked +out her head, and it had turned into just the shape of a bird's. But +when Tom spoke to her she could not answer; for her mouth and face were +tight tied up in a new night-cap of neat pink skin. However, if she +didn't answer, all the other caddises did; for they held up their hands +and shrieked like the cats in Struwwelpeter: "_Oh, you nasty horrid boy; +there you are at it again! And she had just laid herself up for a +fortnight's sleep, and then she would have come out with such beautiful +wings, and flown about, and laid such lots of eggs: and now you have +broken her door, and she can't mend it because her mouth is tied up for +a fortnight, and she will die. Who sent you here to worry us out of our +lives?_" + +So Tom swam away. He was very much ashamed of himself, and felt all the +naughtier; as little boys do when they have done wrong and won't say so. + +Then he came to a pool full of little trout, and began tormenting them, +and trying to catch them: but they slipped through his fingers, and +jumped clean out of water in their fright. But as Tom chased them, he +came close to a great dark hover under an alder root, and out floushed a +huge old brown trout ten times as big as he was, and ran right against +him, and knocked all the breath out of his body; and I don't know which +was the more frightened of the two. + +Then he went on sulky and lonely, as he deserved to be; and under a +bank he saw a very ugly dirty creature sitting, about half as big as +himself; which had six legs, and a big stomach, and a most ridiculous +head with two great eyes and a face just like a donkey's. + +"Oh," said Tom, "you are an ugly fellow to be sure!" and he began making +faces at him; and put his nose close to him, and halloed at him, like a +very rude boy. + +When, hey presto; all the thing's donkey-face came off in a moment, and +out popped a long arm with a pair of pincers at the end of it, and +caught Tom by the nose. It did not hurt him much; but it held him quite +tight. + +"Yah, ah! Oh, let me go!" cried Tom. + +"Then let me go," said the creature. "I want to be quiet. I want to +split." + +Tom promised to let him alone, and he let go. "Why do you want to +split?" said Tom. + +"Because my brothers and sisters have all split, and turned into +beautiful creatures with wings; and I want to split too. Don't speak to +me. I am sure I shall split. I will split!" + +Tom stood still, and watched him. And he swelled himself, and puffed, +and stretched himself out stiff, and at last--crack, puff, bang--he +opened all down his back, and then up to the top of his head. + +And out of his inside came the most slender, elegant, soft creature, as +soft and smooth as Tom: but very pale and weak, like a little child who +has been ill a long time in a dark room. It moved its legs very feebly; +and looked about it half ashamed, like a girl when she goes for the +first time into a ballroom; and then it began walking slowly up a grass +stem to the top of the water. + +Tom was so astonished that he never said a word: but he stared with all +his eyes. And he went up to the top of the water too, and peeped out to +see what would happen. + +And as the creature sat in the warm bright sun, a wonderful change came +over it. It grew strong and firm; the most lovely colours began to show +on its body, blue and yellow and black, spots and bars and rings; out of +its back rose four great wings of bright brown gauze; and its eyes grew +so large that they filled all its head, and shone like ten thousand +diamonds. + +"Oh, you beautiful creature!" said Tom; and he put out his hand to catch +it. + +But the thing whirred up into the air, and hung poised on its wings a +moment, and then settled down again by Tom quite fearless. + +"No!" it said, "you cannot catch me. I am a dragon-fly now, the king of +all the flies; and I shall dance in the sunshine, and hawk over the +river, and catch gnats, and have a beautiful wife like myself. I know +what I shall do. Hurrah!" And he flew away into the air, and began +catching gnats. + +"Oh! come back, come back," cried Tom, "you beautiful creature. I have +no one to play with, and I am so lonely here. If you will but come back +I will never try to catch you." + +"I don't care whether you do or not," said the dragon-fly; "for you +can't. But when I have had my dinner, and looked a little about this +pretty place, I will come back, and have a little chat about all I have +seen in my travels. Why, what a huge tree this is! and what huge leaves +on it!" + +It was only a big dock: but you know the dragon-fly had never seen any +but little water-trees; starwort, and milfoil, and water-crowfoot, and +such like; so it did look very big to him. Besides, he was very +short-sighted, as all dragon-flies are; and never could see a yard +before his nose; any more than a great many other folks, who are not +half as handsome as he. + +The dragon-fly did come back, and chatted away with Tom. He was a little +conceited about his fine colours and his large wings; but you know, he +had been a poor dirty ugly creature all his life before; so there were +great excuses for him. He was very fond of talking about all the +wonderful things he saw in the trees and the meadows; and Tom liked to +listen to him, for he had forgotten all about them. So in a little while +they became great friends. + +And I am very glad to say, that Tom learned such a lesson that day, that +he did not torment creatures for a long time after. And then the +caddises grew quite tame, and used to tell him strange stories about the +way they built their houses, and changed their skins, and turned at last +into winged flies; till Tom began to long to change his skin, and have +wings like them some day. + +And the trout and he made it up (for trout very soon forget if they have +been frightened and hurt). So Tom used to play with them at hare and +hounds, and great fun they had; and he used to try to leap out of the +water, head over heels, as they did before a shower came on; but somehow +he never could manage it. He liked most, though, to see them rising at +the flies, as they sailed round and round under the shadow of the great +oak, where the beetles fell flop into the water, and the green +caterpillars let themselves down from the boughs by silk ropes for no +reason at all; and then changed their foolish minds for no reason at all +either; and hauled themselves up again into the tree, rolling up the +rope in a ball between their paws; which is a very clever rope-dancer's +trick, and neither Blondin nor Leotard could do it: but why they should +take so much trouble about it no one can tell; for they cannot get their +living, as Blondin and Leotard do, by trying to break their necks on a +string. + +And very often Tom caught them just as they touched the water; and +caught the alder-flies, and the caperers, and the cock-tailed duns and +spinners, yellow, and brown, and claret, and grey, and gave them to his +friends the trout. Perhaps he was not quite kind to the flies; but one +must do a good turn to one's friends when one can. + +And at last he gave up catching even the flies; for he made acquaintance +with one by accident and found him a very merry little fellow. And this +was the way it happened; and it is all quite true. + +He was basking at the top of the water one hot day in July, catching +duns and feeding the trout, when he saw a new sort, a dark grey little +fellow with a brown head. He was a very little fellow indeed: but he +made the most of himself, as people ought to do. He cocked up his head, +and he cocked up his wings, and he cocked up his tail, and he cocked up +the two whisks at his tail-end, and, in short, he looked the cockiest +little man of all little men. And so he proved to be; for instead of +getting away, he hopped upon Tom's finger, and sat there as bold as nine +tailors; and he cried out in the tiniest, shrillest, squeakiest little +voice you ever heard, + +"Much obliged to you, indeed; but I don't want it yet." + +"Want what?" said Tom, quite taken aback by his impudence. + +"Your leg, which you are kind enough to hold out for me to sit on. I +must just go and see after my wife for a few minutes. Dear me! what a +troublesome business a family is!" (though the idle little rogue did +nothing at all, but left his poor wife to lay all the eggs by herself). +"When I come back, I shall be glad of it, if you'll be so good as to +keep it sticking out just so"; and off he flew. + +Tom thought him a very cool sort of personage; and still more so, when, +in five minutes he came back, and said--"Ah, you were tired waiting? +Well, your other leg will do as well." + +And he popped himself down on Tom's knee, and began chatting away in his +squeaking voice. + +"So you live under the water? It's a low place. I lived there for some +time; and was very shabby and dirty. But I didn't choose that that +should last. So I turned respectable, and came up to the top, and put on +this grey suit. It's a very business-like suit, you think, don't you?" + +"Very neat and quiet indeed," said Tom. + +"Yes, one must be quiet and neat and respectable, and all that sort of +thing for a little, when one becomes a family man. But I'm tired of it, +that's the truth. I've done quite enough business, I consider, in the +last week, to last me my life. So I shall put on a ball-dress, and go +out and be a smart man, and see the gay world, and have a dance or two. +Why shouldn't one be jolly if one can?" + +"And what will become of your wife?" + +"Oh! she is a very plain stupid creature, and that's the truth; and +thinks about nothing but eggs. If she chooses to come, why she may; and +if not, why I go without her;--and here I go." + +And, as he spoke, he turned quite pale, and then quite white. + +"Why, you're ill!" said Tom. But he did not answer. + +"You're dead," said Tom, looking at him as he stood on his knee as white +as a ghost. + +"No, I ain't!" answered a little squeaking voice over his head. "This is +me up here, in my ball-dress; and that's my skin. Ha, ha! you could not +do such a trick as that!" + +And no more Tom could, nor Houdin, nor Robin, nor Frikell, nor all the +conjurers in the world. For the little rogue had jumped clean out of his +own skin, and left it standing on Tom's knee, eyes, wings, legs, tail, +exactly as if it had been alive. + +"Ha, ha!" he said, and he jerked and skipped up and down, never stopping +an instant, just as if he had St. Vitus's dance. "Ain't I a pretty +fellow now?" + +And so he was; for his body was white, and his tail orange, and his eyes +all the colours of a peacock's tail. And what was the oddest of all, the +whisks at the end of his tail had grown five times as long as they were +before. + +"Ah!" said he, "now I will see the gay world. My living won't cost me +much, for I have no mouth, you see, and no inside; so I can never be +hungry nor have the stomach-ache neither." + +No more he had. He had grown as dry and hard and empty as a quill, as +such silly shallow-hearted fellows deserve to grow. + +But, instead of being ashamed of his emptiness, he was quite proud of +it, as a good many fine gentlemen are, and began flirting and flipping +up and down, and singing-- + + "_My wife shall dance, and I shall sing, + So merrily pass the day; + For I hold it for quite the wisest thing, + To drive dull care away._" + +And he danced up and down for three days and three nights, till he grew +so tired, that he tumbled into the water, and floated down. But what +became of him Tom never knew, and he himself never minded; for Tom heard +him singing to the last, as he floated down-- + + "_To drive dull care away-ay-ay!_" + +And if he did not care, why nobody else cared either. + +But one day Tom had a new adventure. He was sitting on a water-lily +leaf, he and his friend the dragon-fly, watching the gnats dance. The +dragon-fly had eaten as many as he wanted, and was sitting quite still +and sleepy, for it was very hot and bright. The gnats (who did not care +the least for their poor brothers' death) danced a foot over his head +quite happily, and a large black fly settled within an inch of his nose, +and began washing his own face and combing his hair with his paws: but +the dragon-fly never stirred, and kept on chatting to Tom about the +times when he lived under the water. + +Suddenly, Tom heard the strangest noise up the stream; cooing, and +grunting, and whining, and squeaking, as if you had put into a bag two +stock-doves, nine mice, three guinea-pigs, and a blind puppy, and left +them there to settle themselves and make music. + +He looked up the water, and there he saw a sight as strange as the +noise; a great ball rolling over and over down the stream, seeming one +moment of soft brown fur, and the next of shining glass: and yet it was +not a ball; for sometimes it broke up and streamed away in pieces, and +then it joined again; and all the while the noise came out of it louder +and louder. + +Tom asked the dragon-fly what it could be: but, of course, with his +short sight, he could not even see it, though it was not ten yards away. +So he took the neatest little header into the water, and started off to +see for himself; and, when he came near, the ball turned out to be four +or five beautiful creatures, many times larger than Tom, who were +swimming about, and rolling, and diving, and twisting, and wrestling, +and cuddling, and kissing, and biting, and scratching, in the most +charming fashion that ever was seen. And if you don't believe me, you +may go to the Zoological Gardens (for I am afraid that you won't see it +nearer, unless, perhaps, you get up at five in the morning, and go down +to Cordery's Moor, and watch by the great withy pollard which hangs over +the backwater, where the otters breed sometimes), and then say, if +otters at play in the water are not the merriest, lithest, gracefullest +creatures you ever saw. + +But, when the biggest of them saw Tom, she darted out from the rest, +and cried in the water-language sharply enough, "Quick, children, here +is something to eat, indeed!" and came at poor Tom, showing such a +wicked pair of eyes, and such a set of sharp teeth in a grinning mouth, +that Tom, who had thought her very handsome, said to himself, _Handsome +is that handsome does_, and slipped in between the water-lily roots as +fast as he could, and then turned round and made faces at her. + +"Come out," said the wicked old otter, "or it will be worse for you." + +But Tom looked at her from between two thick roots, and shook them with +all his might, making horrible faces all the while, just as he used to +grin through the railings at the old women, when he lived before. It was +not quite well bred, no doubt; but you know, Tom had not finished his +education yet. + +"Come away, children," said the otter in disgust, "it is not worth +eating, after all. It is only a nasty eft, which nothing eats, not even +those vulgar pike in the pond." + +"I am not an eft!" said Tom; "efts have tails." + +"You are an eft," said the otter, very positively; "I see your two hands +quite plain, and I know you have a tail." + +"I tell you I have not," said Tom. "Look here!" and he turned his pretty +little self quite round; and sure enough, he had no more tail than you. + +The otter might have got out of it by saying that Tom was a frog: but, +like a great many other people, when she had once said a thing, she +stood to it, right or wrong; so she answered: + +"I say you are an eft, and therefore you are, and not fit food for +gentlefolk like me and my children. You may stay there till the salmon +eat you (she knew the salmon would not, but she wanted to frighten poor +Tom). Ha! ha! they will eat you, and we will eat them"; and the otter +laughed such a wicked cruel laugh--as you may hear them do sometimes; +and the first time that you hear it you will probably think it is +bogies. + +"What are salmon?" asked Tom. + +"Fish, you eft, great fish, nice fish to eat. They are the lords of the +fish, and we are lords of the salmon"; and she laughed again. "We hunt +them up and down the pools, and drive them up into a corner, the silly +things; they are so proud, and bully the little trout, and the minnows, +till they see us coming, and then they are so meek all at once; and we +catch them, but we disdain to eat them all; we just bite out their soft +throats and suck their sweet juice--Oh, so good!"--(and she licked her +wicked lips)--"and then throw them away, and go and catch another. They +are coming soon, children, coming soon; I can smell the rain coming up +off the sea, and then hurrah for a fresh, and salmon, and plenty of +eating all day long." + +And the otter grew so proud that she turned head over heels twice, and +then stood upright half out of the water, grinning like a Cheshire cat. + +"And where do they come from?" asked Tom, who kept himself very close, +for he was considerably frightened. + +"Out of the sea, eft, the great wide sea, where they might stay and be +safe if they liked. But out of the sea the silly things come, into the +great river down below, and we come up to watch for them; and when they +go down again we go down and follow them. And there we fish for the bass +and the pollock, and have jolly days along the shore, and toss and roll +in the breakers, and sleep snug in the warm dry crags. Ah, that is a +merry life too, children, if it were not for those horrid men." + +"What are men?" asked Tom; but somehow he seemed to know before he +asked. + +"Two-legged things, eft: and, now I come to look at you, they are +actually something like you, if you had not a tail" (she was determined +that Tom should have a tail), "only a great deal bigger, worse luck for +us; and they catch the fish with hooks and lines, which get into our +feet sometimes, and set pots along the rocks to catch lobsters. They +speared my poor dear husband as he went out to find something for me to +eat. I was laid up among the crags then, and we were very low in the +world, for the sea was so rough that no fish would come in shore. But +they speared him, poor fellow, and I saw them carrying him away upon a +pole. Ah, he lost his life for your sakes, my children, poor dear +obedient creature that he was." + +And the otter grew so sentimental (for otters can be very sentimental +when they choose, like a good many people who are both cruel and greedy, +and no good to anybody at all) that she sailed solemnly away down the +burn, and Tom saw her no more for that time. And lucky it was for her +that she did so; for no sooner was she gone, than down the bank came +seven little rough terrier dogs, snuffing and yapping, and grubbing and +splashing, in full cry after the otter. Tom hid among the water-lilies +till they were gone; for he could not guess that they were the +water-fairies come to help him. + +But he could not help thinking of what the otter had said about the +great river and the broad sea. And, as he thought, he longed to go and +see them. He could not tell why; but the more he thought, the more he +grew discontented with the narrow little stream in which he lived, and +all his companions there; and wanted to get out into the wide wide +world, and enjoy all the wonderful sights of which he was sure it was +full. + +And once he set off to go down the stream. But the stream was very low; +and when he came to the shallows he could not keep under water, for +there was no water left to keep under. So the sun burned his back and +made him sick; and he went back again and lay quiet in the pool for a +whole week more. + +And then, on the evening of a very hot day, he saw a sight. + +He had been very stupid all day, and so had the trout; for they would +not move an inch to take a fly, though there were thousands on the +water, but lay dozing at the bottom under the shade of the stones; and +Tom lay dozing too, and was glad to cuddle their smooth cool sides, for +the water was quite warm and unpleasant. + +But toward evening it grew suddenly dark, and Tom looked up and saw a +blanket of black clouds lying right across the valley above his head, +resting on the crags right and left. He felt not quite frightened, but +very still; for everything was still. There was not a whisper of wind, +nor a chirp of a bird to be heard; and next a few great drops of rain +fell plop into the water, and one hit Tom on the nose, and made him pop +his head down quickly enough. + +And then the thunder roared, and the lightning flashed, and leapt across +Vendale and back again, from cloud to cloud, and cliff to cliff, till +the very rocks in the stream seemed to shake: and Tom looked up at it +through the water, and thought it the finest thing he ever saw in his +life. + +But out of the water he dared not put his head; for the rain came down +by bucketsful, and the hail hammered like shot on the stream, and +churned it into foam; and soon the stream rose, and rushed down, higher +and higher, and fouler and fouler, full of beetles, and sticks; and +straws, and worms, and addle-eggs, and wood-lice, and leeches, and odds +and ends, and omnium-gatherums, and this, that, and the other, enough to +fill nine museums. + +Tom could hardly stand against the stream, and hid behind a rock. But +the trout did not; for out they rushed from among the stones, and began +gobbling the beetles and leeches in the most greedy and quarrelsome way, +and swimming about with great worms hanging out of their mouths, tugging +and kicking to get them away from each other. + +And now, by the flashes of the lightning, Tom saw a new sight--all the +bottom of the stream alive with great eels, turning and twisting along, +all down stream and away. They had been hiding for weeks past in the +cracks of the rocks, and in burrows in the mud; and Tom had hardly ever +seen them, except now and then at night: but now they were all out, and +went hurrying past him so fiercely and wildly that he was quite +frightened. And as they hurried past he could hear them say to each +other, "We must run, we must run. What a jolly thunderstorm! Down to the +sea, down to the sea!" + +And then the otter came by with all her brood, twining and sweeping +along as fast as the eels themselves; and she spied Tom as she came by, +and said: + +"Now is your time, eft, if you want to see the world. Come along, +children, never mind those nasty eels: we shall breakfast on salmon +to-morrow. Down to the sea, down to the sea!" + +Then came a flash brighter than all the rest, and by the light of it--in +the thousandth part of a second they were gone again--but he had seen +them, he was certain of it--Three beautiful little white girls, with +their arms twined round each other's necks, floating down the torrent, +as they sang, "Down to the sea, down to the sea!" + +[Illustration: "From which great trout rushed out on Tom."--_P. 88._] + +"Oh stay! Wait for me!" cried Tom; but they were gone: yet he could hear +their voices clear and sweet through the roar of thunder and water and +wind, singing as they died away, "Down to the sea!" + +"Down to the sea?" said Tom; "everything is going to the sea, and I will +go too. Good-bye, trout." But the trout were so busy gobbling worms that +they never turned to answer him; so that Tom was spared the pain of +bidding them farewell. + +And now, down the rushing stream, guided by the bright flashes of the +storm; past tall birch-fringed rocks, which shone out one moment as +clear as day, and the next were dark as night; past dark hovers under +swirling banks, from which great trout rushed out on Tom, thinking him +to be good to eat, and turned back sulkily, for the fairies sent them +home again with a tremendous scolding, for daring to meddle with a +water-baby; on through narrow strids and roaring cataracts, where Tom +was deafened and blinded for a moment by the rushing waters; along deep +reaches, where the white water-lilies tossed and flapped beneath the +wind and hail; past sleeping villages; under dark bridge-arches, and +away and away to the sea. And Tom could not stop, and did not care to +stop; he would see the great world below, and the salmon, and the +breakers, and the wide wide sea. + +And when the daylight came, Tom found himself out in the salmon river. + +And what sort of a river was it? Was it like an Irish stream, winding +through the brown bogs, where the wild ducks squatter up from among the +white water-lilies, and the curlews flit to and fro, crying +"Tullie-wheep, mind your sheep"; and Dennis tells you strange stories of +the Peishtamore, the great bogy-snake which lies in the black peat +pools, among the old pine-stems, and puts his head out at night to snap +at the cattle as they come down to drink?--But you must not believe all +that Dennis tells you, mind; for if you ask him: + +"Is there a salmon here, do you think, Dennis?" + +"Is it salmon, thin, your honour manes? Salmon? Cartloads it is of thim, +thin, an' ridgmens, shouldthering ache out of water, av' ye'd but the +luck to see thim." + +Then you fish the pool all over, and never get a rise. + +"But there can't be a salmon here, Dennis! and, if you'll but think, if +one had come up last tide, he'd be gone to the higher pools by now." + +"Shure thin, and your honour's the thrue fisherman, and understands it +all like a book. Why, ye spake as if ye'd known the wather a thousand +years! As I said, how could there be a fish here at all, just now?" + +"But you said just now they were shouldering each other out of water?" + +And then Dennis will look up at you with his handsome, sly, soft, +sleepy, good-natured, untrustable, Irish grey eye, and answer with the +prettiest smile: + +"Shure, and didn't I think your honour would like a pleasant answer?" + +So you must not trust Dennis, because he is in the habit of giving +pleasant answers: but, instead of being angry with him, you must +remember that he is a poor Paddy, and knows no better; so you must just +burst out laughing; and then he will burst out laughing too, and slave +for you, and trot about after you, and show you good sport if he +can--for he is an affectionate fellow, and as fond of sport as you +are--and if he can't, tell you fibs instead, a hundred an hour; and +wonder all the while why poor ould Ireland does not prosper like England +and Scotland, and some other places, where folk have taken up a +ridiculous fancy that honesty is the best policy. + +Or was it like a Welsh salmon river, which is remarkable chiefly (at +least, till this last year) for containing no salmon, as they have been +all poached out by the enlightened peasantry, to prevent the _Cythrawl +Sassenach_ (which means you, my little dear, your kith and kin, and +signifies much the same as the Chinese _Fan Quei_) from coming bothering +into Wales, with good tackle, and ready money, and civilisation, and +common honesty, and other like things of which the Cymry stand in no +need whatsoever? + +Or was it such a salmon stream as I trust you will see among the +Hampshire water-meadows before your hairs are grey, under the wise new +fishing-laws?--when Winchester apprentices shall covenant, as they did +three hundred years ago, not to be made to eat salmon more than three +days a week; and fresh-run fish shall be as plentiful under Salisbury +spire as they are in Holly-hole at Christchurch; in the good time +coming, when folks shall see that, of all Heaven's gifts of food, the +one to be protected most carefully is that worthy gentleman salmon, who +is generous enough to go down to the sea weighing five ounces, and to +come back next year weighing five pounds, without having cost the soil +or the state one farthing? + +Or was it like a Scotch stream, such as Arthur Clough drew in his +"Bothie":-- + + _"Where over a ledge of granite + Into a granite bason the amber torrent descended. . . . + Beautiful there for the colour derived from green rocks under; + Beautiful most of all, where beads of foam uprising + Mingle their clouds of white with the delicate hue of the + stillness. . . . + Cliff over cliff for its sides, with rowan and pendant birch + boughs." . . ._ + +Ah, my little man, when you are a big man, and fish such a stream as +that, you will hardly care, I think, whether she be roaring down in full +spate, like coffee covered with scald cream, while the fish are swirling +at your fly as an oar-blade swirls in a boat-race, or flashing up the +cataract like silver arrows, out of the fiercest of the foam; or +whether the fall be dwindled to a single thread, and the shingle below +be as white and dusty as a turnpike road, while the salmon huddle +together in one dark cloud in the clear amber pool, sleeping away their +time till the rain creeps back again off the sea. You will not care +much, if you have eyes and brains; for you will lay down your rod +contentedly, and drink in at your eyes the beauty of that glorious +place; and listen to the water-ouzel piping on the stones, and watch the +yellow roes come down to drink and look up at you with their great soft +trustful eyes, as much as to say, "You could not have the heart to shoot +at us?" And then, if you have sense, you will turn and talk to the great +giant of a gilly who lies basking on the stone beside you. He will tell +you no fibs, my little man; for he is a Scotchman, and fears God, and +not the priest; and, as you talk with him, you will be surprised more +and more at his knowledge, his sense, his humour, his courtesy; and you +will find out--unless you have found it out before--that a man may learn +from his Bible to be a more thorough gentleman than if he had been +brought up in all the drawing-rooms in London. + +No. It was none of these, the salmon stream at Harthover. It was such a +stream as you see in dear old Bewick; Bewick, who was born and bred upon +them. A full hundred yards broad it was, sliding on from broad pool to +broad shallow, and broad shallow to broad pool, over great fields of +shingle, under oak and ash coverts, past low cliffs of sandstone, past +green meadows, and fair parks, and a great house of grey stone, and +brown moors above, and here and there against the sky the smoking +chimney of a colliery. You must look at Bewick to see just what it was +like, for he has drawn it a hundred times with the care and the love of +a true north countryman; and, even if you do not care about the salmon +river, you ought, like all good boys, to know your Bewick. + +At least, so old Sir John used to say, and very sensibly he put it too, +as he was wont to do: + +"If they want to describe a finished young gentleman in France, I hear, +they say of him, '_Il sait son Rabelais._' But if I want to describe one +in England, I say, '_He knows his Bewick._' And I think that is the +higher compliment." + +But Tom thought nothing about what the river was like. All his fancy +was, to get down to the wide wide sea. + +And after a while he came to a place where the river spread out into +broad still shallow reaches, so wide that little Tom, as he put his head +out of the water, could hardly see across. + +And there he stopped. He got a little frightened. "This must be the +sea," he thought. "What a wide place it is! If I go on into it I shall +surely lose my way, or some strange thing will bite me. I will stop here +and look out for the otter, or the eels, or some one to tell me where I +shall go." + +So he went back a little way, and crept into a crack of the rock, just +where the river opened out into the wide shallows, and watched for some +one to tell him his way: but the otter and the eels were gone on miles +and miles down the stream. + +There he waited, and slept too, for he was quite tired with his night's +journey; and, when he woke, the stream was clearing to a beautiful amber +hue, though it was still very high. And after a while he saw a sight +which made him jump up; for he knew in a moment it was one of the things +which he had come to look for. + +Such a fish! ten times as big as the biggest trout, and a hundred times +as big as Tom, sculling up the stream past him, as easily as Tom had +sculled down. + +Such a fish! shining silver from head to tail, and here and there a +crimson dot; with a grand hooked nose and grand curling lip, and a grand +bright eye, looking round him as proudly as a king, and surveying the +water right and left as if all belonged to him. Surely he must be the +salmon, the king of all the fish. + +Tom was so frightened that he longed to creep into a hole; but he need +not have been; for salmon are all true gentlemen, and, like true +gentlemen, they look noble and proud enough, and yet, like true +gentlemen, they never harm or quarrel with any one, but go about their +own business, and leave rude fellows to themselves. + +The salmon looked at him full in the face, and then went on without +minding him, with a swish or two of his tail which made the stream boil +again. And in a few minutes came another, and then four or five, and so +on; and all passed Tom, rushing and plunging up the cataract with strong +strokes of their silver tails, now and then leaping clean out of water +and up over a rock, shining gloriously for a moment in the bright sun; +while Tom was so delighted that he could have watched them all day long. + +And at last one came up bigger than all the rest; but he came slowly, +and stopped, and looked back, and seemed very anxious and busy. And Tom +saw that he was helping another salmon, an especially handsome one, who +had not a single spot upon it, but was clothed in pure silver from nose +to tail. + +"My dear," said the great fish to his companion, "you really look +dreadfully tired, and you must not over-exert yourself at first. Do rest +yourself behind this rock"; and he shoved her gently with his nose, to +the rock where Tom sat. + +You must know that this was the salmon's wife. For salmon, like other +true gentlemen, always choose their lady, and love her, and are true to +her, and take care of her and work for her, and fight for her, as every +true gentleman ought; and are not like vulgar chub and roach and pike, +who have no high feelings, and take no care of their wives. + +Then he saw Tom, and looked at him very fiercely one moment, as if he +was going to bite him. + +"What do you want here?" he said, very fiercely. + +"Oh, don't hurt me!" cried Tom. "I only want to look at you; you are so +handsome." + +"Ah?" said the salmon, very stately but very civilly. "I really beg your +pardon; I see what you are, my little dear. I have met one or two +creatures like you before, and found them very agreeable and +well-behaved. Indeed, one of them showed me a great kindness lately, +which I hope to be able to repay. I hope we shall not be in your way +here. As soon as this lady is rested, we shall proceed on our journey." + +What a well-bred old salmon he was! + +"So you have seen things like me before?" asked Tom. + +"Several times, my dear. Indeed, it was only last night that one at the +river's mouth came and warned me and my wife of some new stake-nets +which had got into the stream, I cannot tell how, since last winter, and +showed us the way round them, in the most charmingly obliging way." + +"So there are babies in the sea?" cried Tom, and clapped his little +hands. "Then I shall have some one to play with there? How delightful!" + +"Were there no babies up this stream?" asked the lady salmon. + +"No! and I grew so lonely. I thought I saw three last night; but they +were gone in an instant, down to the sea. So I went too; for I had +nothing to play with but caddises and dragon-flies and trout." + +"Ugh!" cried the lady, "what low company!" + +"My dear, if he has been in low company, he has certainly not learnt +their low manners," said the salmon. + +"No, indeed, poor little dear: but how sad for him to live among such +people as caddises, who have actually six legs, the nasty things; and +dragon-flies, too! why they are not even good to eat; for I tried them +once, and they are all hard and empty; and, as for trout, every one +knows what they are." Whereon she curled up her lip, and looked +dreadfully scornful, while her husband curled up his too, till he looked +as proud as Alcibiades. + +"Why do you dislike the trout so?" asked Tom. + +"My dear, we do not even mention them, if we can help it; for I am sorry +to say they are relations of ours who do us no credit. A great many +years ago they were just like us: but they were so lazy, and cowardly, +and greedy, that instead of going down to the sea every year to see the +world and grow strong and fat, they chose to stay and poke about in the +little streams and eat worms and grubs; and they are very properly +punished for it; for they have grown ugly and brown and spotted and +small; and are actually so degraded in their tastes, that they will eat +our children." + +"And then they pretend to scrape acquaintance with us again," said the +lady. "Why, I have actually known one of them propose to a lady salmon, +the little impudent little creature." + +"I should hope," said the gentleman, "that there are very few ladies of +our race who would degrade themselves by listening to such a creature +for an instant. If I saw such a thing happen, I should consider it my +duty to put them both to death upon the spot." So the old salmon said, +like an old blue-blooded hidalgo of Spain; and what is more, he would +have done it too. For you must know, no enemies are so bitter against +each other as those who are of the same race; and a salmon looks on a +trout, as some great folks look on some little folks, as something just +too much like himself to be tolerated. + + "Sweet is the lore which Nature brings; + Our meddling intellect + Mis-shapes the beauteous forms of things + We murder to dissect. + + "Enough of science and of art: + Close up these barren leaves; + Come forth, and bring with you a heart + That watches and receives." + + WORDSWORTH. + + + + + +CHAPTER IV + + +[Illustration: "He watched the moonlight on the rippling river." _P. +101._] + +SO the salmon went up, after Tom had warned them of the wicked old +otter; and Tom went down, but slowly and cautiously, coasting along the +shore. He was many days about it, for it was many miles down to the sea; +and perhaps he would never have found his way, if the fairies had not +guided him, without his seeing their fair faces, or feeling their gentle +hands. + +And, as he went, he had a very strange adventure. It was a clear still +September night, and the moon shone so brightly down through the water, +that he could not sleep, though he shut his eyes as tight as possible. +So at last he came up to the top, and sat upon a little point of rock, +and looked up at the broad yellow moon, and wondered what she was, and +thought that she looked at him. And he watched the moonlight on the +rippling river, and the black heads of the firs, and the silver-frosted +lawns, and listened to the owl's hoot, and the snipe's bleat, and the +fox's bark, and the otter's laugh; and smelt the soft perfume of the +birches, and the wafts of heather honey off the grouse moor far above; +and felt very happy, though he could not well tell why. You, of course, +would have been very cold sitting there on a September night, without +the least bit of clothes on your wet back; but Tom was a water-baby, and +therefore felt cold no more than a fish. + +Suddenly, he saw a beautiful sight. A bright red light moved along the +river-side, and threw down into the water a long tap-root of flame. Tom, +curious little rogue that he was, must needs go and see what it was; so +he swam to the shore, and met the light as it stopped over a shallow run +at the edge of a low rock. + +And there, underneath the light, lay five or six great salmon, looking +up at the flame with their great goggle eyes, and wagging their tails, +as if they were very much pleased at it. + +Tom came to the top, to look at this wonderful light nearer, and made a +splash. + +And he heard a voice say: + +"There was a fish rose." + +He did not know what the words meant: but he seemed to know the sound of +them, and to know the voice which spoke them; and he saw on the bank +three great two-legged creatures, one of whom held the light, flaring +and sputtering, and another a long pole. And he knew that they were men, +and was frightened, and crept into a hole in the rock, from which he +could see what went on. + +The man with the torch bent down over the water, and looked earnestly +in; and then he said: + +"Tak' that muckle fellow, lad; he's ower fifteen punds; and haud your +hand steady." + +Tom felt that there was some danger coming, and longed to warn the +foolish salmon, who kept staring up at the light as if he was bewitched. +But before he could make up his mind, down came the pole through the +water; there was a fearful splash and struggle, and Tom saw that the +poor salmon was speared right through, and was lifted out of the water. + +And then, from behind, there sprang on these three men three other men; +and there were shouts, and blows, and words which Tom recollected to +have heard before; and he shuddered and turned sick at them now, for he +felt somehow that they were strange, and ugly, and wrong, and horrible. +And it all began to come back to him. They were men; and they were +fighting; savage, desperate, up-and-down fighting, such as Tom had seen +too many times before. + +And he stopped his little ears, and longed to swim away; and was very +glad that he was a water-baby, and had nothing to do any more with +horrid dirty men, with foul clothes on their backs, and foul words on +their lips; but he dared not stir out of his hole: while the rock shook +over his head with the trampling and struggling of the keepers and the +poachers. + +All of a sudden there was a tremendous splash, and a frightful flash, +and a hissing, and all was still. + +For into the water, close to Tom, fell one of the men; he who held the +light in his hand. Into the swift river he sank, and rolled over and +over in the current. Tom heard the men above run along, seemingly +looking for him; but he drifted down into the deep hole below, and there +lay quite still, and they could not find him. + +Tom waited a long time, till all was quiet; and then he peeped out, and +saw the man lying. At last he screwed up his courage and swam down to +him. "Perhaps," he thought, "the water has made him fall asleep, as it +did me." + +Then he went nearer. He grew more and more curious, he could not tell +why. He must go and look at him. He would go very quietly, of course; so +he swam round and round him, closer and closer; and, as he did not stir, +at last he came quite close and looked him in the face. + +The moon shone so bright that Tom could see every feature; and, as he +saw, he recollected, bit by bit, it was his old master, Grimes. + +Tom turned tail, and swam away as fast as he could. + +"Oh dear me!" he thought, "now he will turn into a water-baby. What a +nasty troublesome one he will be! And perhaps he will find me out, and +beat me again." + +So he went up the river again a little way, and lay there the rest of +the night under an alder root; but, when morning came, he longed to go +down again to the big pool, and see whether Mr. Grimes had turned into a +water-baby yet. + +So he went very carefully, peeping round all the rocks, and hiding under +all the roots. Mr. Grimes lay there still; he had not turned into a +water-baby. In the afternoon Tom went back again. He could not rest +till he had found out what had become of Mr. Grimes. But this time Mr. +Grimes was gone; and Tom made up his mind that he was turned into a +water-baby. + +He might have made himself easy, poor little man; Mr. Grimes did not +turn into a water-baby, or anything like one at all. But he did not make +himself easy; and a long time he was fearful lest he should meet Grimes +suddenly in some deep pool. He could not know that the fairies had +carried him away, and put him, where they put everything which falls +into the water, exactly where it ought to be. But, do you know, what had +happened to Mr. Grimes had such an effect on him that he never poached +salmon any more. And it is quite certain that, when a man becomes a +confirmed poacher, the only way to cure him is to put him under water +for twenty-four hours, like Grimes. So when you grow to be a big man, do +you behave as all honest fellows should; and never touch a fish or a +head of game which belongs to another man without his express leave; and +then people will call you a gentleman, and treat you like one; and +perhaps give you good sport: instead of hitting you into the river, or +calling you a poaching snob. + +Then Tom went on down, for he was afraid of staying near Grimes: and as +he went, all the vale looked sad. The red and yellow leaves showered +down into the river; the flies and beetles were all dead and gone; the +chill autumn fog lay low upon the hills, and sometimes spread itself so +thickly on the river that he could not see his way. But he felt his way +instead, following the flow of the stream, day after day, past great +bridges, past boats and barges, past the great town, with its wharfs, +and mills, and tall smoking chimneys, and ships which rode at anchor in +the stream; and now and then he ran against their hawsers, and wondered +what they were, and peeped out, and saw the sailors lounging on board +smoking their pipes; and ducked under again, for he was terribly afraid +of being caught by man and turned into a chimney-sweep once more. He did +not know that the fairies were close to him always, shutting the +sailors' eyes lest they should see him, and turning him aside from +millraces, and sewer-mouths, and all foul and dangerous things. Poor +little fellow, it was a dreary journey for him; and more than once he +longed to be back in Vendale, playing with the trout in the bright +summer sun. But it could not be. What has been once can never come over +again. And people can be little babies, even water-babies, only once in +their lives. + +Besides, people who make up their minds to go and see the world, as Tom +did, must needs find it a weary journey. Lucky for them if they do not +lose heart and stop half-way, instead of going on bravely to the end as +Tom did. For then they will remain neither boys nor men, neither fish, +flesh, nor good red-herring: having learnt a great deal too much, and +yet not enough; and sown their wild oats, without having the advantage +of reaping them. + +But Tom was always a brave, determined, little English bull-dog, who +never knew when he was beaten; and on and on he held, till he saw a +long way off the red buoy through the fog. And then he found to his +surprise, the stream turned round, and running up inland. + +It was the tide, of course: but Tom knew nothing of the tide. He only +knew that in a minute more the water, which had been fresh, turned salt +all round him. And then there came a change over him. He felt as strong, +and light, and fresh, as if his veins had run champagne; and gave, he +did not know why, three skips out of the water, a yard high, and head +over heels, just as the salmon do when they first touch the noble rich +salt water, which, as some wise men tell us, is the mother of all living +things. + +He did not care now for the tide being against him. The red buoy was in +sight, dancing in the open sea; and to the buoy he would go, and to it +he went. He passed great shoals of bass and mullet, leaping and rushing +in after the shrimps, but he never heeded them, or they him; and once he +passed a great black shining seal, who was coming in after the mullet. +The seal put his head and shoulders out of water, and stared at him, +looking exactly like a fat old greasy negro with a grey pate. And Tom, +instead of being frightened, said, "How d'ye do, sir; what a beautiful +place the sea is!" And the old seal, instead of trying to bite him, +looked at him with his soft sleepy winking eyes, and said, "Good tide to +you, my little man; are you looking for your brothers and sisters? I +passed them all at play outside." + +"Oh, then," said Tom, "I shall have playfellows at last," and he swam on +to the buoy, and got upon it (for he was quite out of breath) and sat +there, and looked round for water-babies: but there were none to be +seen. + +The sea-breeze came in freshly with the tide and blew the fog away; and +the little waves danced for joy around the buoy, and the old buoy danced +with them. The shadows of the clouds ran races over the bright blue bay, +and yet never caught each other up; and the breakers plunged merrily +upon the wide white sands, and jumped up over the rocks, to see what the +green fields inside were like, and tumbled down and broke themselves all +to pieces, and never minded it a bit, but mended themselves and jumped +up again. And the terns hovered over Tom like huge white dragon-flies +with black heads, and the gulls laughed like girls at play, and the +sea-pies, with their red bills and legs, flew to and fro from shore to +shore, and whistled sweet and wild. And Tom looked and looked, and +listened; and he would have been very happy, if he could only have seen +the water-babies. Then when the tide turned, he left the buoy, and swam +round and round in search of them: but in vain. Sometimes he thought he +heard them laughing: but it was only the laughter of the ripples. And +sometimes he thought he saw them at the bottom: but it was only white +and pink shells. And once he was sure he had found one, for he saw two +bright eyes peeping out of the sand. So he dived down, and began +scraping the sand away, and cried, "Don't hide; I do want some one to +play with so much!" And out jumped a great turbot with his ugly eyes and +mouth all awry, and flopped away along the bottom, knocking poor Tom +over. And he sat down at the bottom of the sea, and cried salt tears +from sheer disappointment. + +To have come all this way, and faced so many dangers, and yet to find no +water-babies! How hard! Well, it did seem hard: but people, even little +babies, cannot have all they want without waiting for it, and working +for it too, my little man, as you will find out some day. + +And Tom sat upon the buoy long days, long weeks, looking out to sea, and +wondering when the water-babies would come back; and yet they never +came. + +Then he began to ask all the strange things which came in out of the sea +if they had seen any; and some said "Yes," and some said nothing at all. + +He asked the bass and the pollock; but they were so greedy after the +shrimps that they did not care to answer him a word. + +Then there came in a whole fleet of purple sea-snails, floating along, +each on a sponge full of foam, and Tom said, "Where do you come from, +you pretty creatures? and have you seen the water-babies?" + +And the sea-snails answered, "Whence we come we know not; and whither we +are going, who can tell? We float out our life in the mid-ocean, with +the warm sunshine above our heads, and the warm gulf-stream below; and +that is enough for us. Yes; perhaps we have seen the water-babies. We +have seen many strange things as we sailed along." And they floated +away, the happy stupid things, and all went ashore upon the sands. + +Then there came in a great lazy sunfish, as big as a fat pig cut in +half; and he seemed to have been cut in half too, and squeezed in a +clothes-press till he was flat; but to all his big body and big fins he +had only a little rabbit's mouth, no bigger than Tom's; and, when Tom +questioned him, he answered in a little squeaky feeble voice: + +"I'm sure I don't know; I've lost my way. I meant to go to the +Chesapeake, and I'm afraid I've got wrong somehow. Dear me! it was all +by following that pleasant warm water. I'm sure I've lost my way." + +And, when Tom asked him again, he could only answer, "I've lost my way. +Don't talk to me; I want to think." + +But, like a good many other people, the more he tried to think the less +he could think; and Tom saw him blundering about all day, till the +coastguardsmen saw his big fin above the water, and rowed out, and +struck a boat-hook into him, and took him away. They took him up to the +town and showed him for a penny a head, and made a good day's work of +it. But of course Tom did not know that. + +Then there came by a shoal of porpoises, rolling as they went--papas, +and mammas, and little children--and all quite smooth and shiny, +because the fairies French-polish them every morning; and they sighed +so softly as they came by, that Tom took courage to speak to them: but +all they answered was, "Hush, hush, hush"; for that was all they had +learnt to say. + +And then there came a shoal of basking sharks, some of them as long as a +boat, and Tom was frightened at them. But they were very lazy +good-natured fellows, not greedy tyrants, like white sharks and blue +sharks and ground sharks and hammer-heads, who eat men, or saw-fish and +threshers and ice-sharks, who hunt the poor old whales. They came and +rubbed their great sides against the buoy, and lay basking in the sun +with their back-fins out of water; and winked at Tom: but he never could +get them to speak. They had eaten so many herrings that they were quite +stupid; and Tom was glad when a collier brig came by and frightened them +all away; for they did smell most horribly, certainly, and he had to +hold his nose tight as long as they were there. + +And then there came by a beautiful creature, like a ribbon of pure +silver with a sharp head and very long teeth; but it seemed very sick +and sad. Sometimes it rolled helpless on its side; and then it dashed +away glittering like white fire; and then it lay sick again and +motionless. + +"Where do you come from?" asked Tom. "And why are _you_ so sick and +sad?" + +"I come from the warm Carolinas, and the sandbanks fringed with pines; +where the great owl-rays leap and flap, like giant bats, upon the tide. +But I wandered north and north, upon the treacherous warm gulf-stream, +till I met with the cold icebergs, afloat in the mid ocean. So I got +tangled among the icebergs, and chilled with their frozen breath. But +the water-babies helped me from among them, and set me free again. And +now I am mending every day; but I am very sick and sad; and perhaps I +shall never get home again to play with the owl-rays any more." + +"Oh!" cried Tom. "And you have seen water-babies? Have you seen any near +here?" + +"Yes; they helped me again last night, or I should have been eaten by a +great black porpoise." + +How vexatious! The water-babies close to him, and yet he could not find +one. + +And then he left the buoy, and used to go along the sands and round the +rocks, and come out in the night--like the forsaken Merman in Mr. +Arnold's beautiful, beautiful poem, which you must learn by heart some +day--and sit upon a point of rock, among the shining seaweeds, in the +low October tides, and cry and call for the water-babies; but he never +heard a voice call in return. And at last, with his fretting and crying, +he grew quite lean and thin. + +But one day among the rocks he found a playfellow. It was not a +water-baby, alas! but it was a lobster; and a very distinguished lobster +he was; for he had live barnacles on his claws, which is a great mark of +distinction in lobsterdom, and no more to be bought for money than a +good conscience or the Victoria Cross. + +[Illustration: "Tom had never seen a lobster before."--_P. 113._] + +Tom had never seen a lobster before; and he was mightily taken with this +one; for he thought him the most curious, odd, ridiculous creature he +had ever seen; and there he was not far wrong; for all the ingenious +men, and all the scientific men, and all the fanciful men, in the world, +with all the old German bogy-painters into the bargain, could never +invent, if all their wits were boiled into one, anything so curious, and +so ridiculous, as a lobster. + +He had one claw knobbed and the other jagged; and Tom delighted in +watching him hold on to the seaweed with his knobbed claw, while he cut +up salads with his jagged one, and then put them into his mouth, after +smelling at them, like a monkey. And always the little barnacles threw +out their casting-nets and swept the water, and came in for their share +of whatever there was for dinner. + +But Tom was most astonished to see how he fired himself off--snap! like +the leap-frogs which you make out of a goose's breast-bone. Certainly he +took the most wonderful shots, and backwards, too. For, if he wanted to +go into a narrow crack ten yards off, what do you think he did? If he +had gone in head foremost, of course he could not have turned round. So +he used to turn his tail to it, and lay his long horns, which carry his +sixth sense in their tips (and nobody knows what that sixth sense is), +straight down his back to guide him, and twist his eyes back till they +almost came out of their sockets, and then made ready, present, fire, +snap!--and away he went, pop into the hole; and peeped out and twiddled +his whiskers, as much as to say, "You couldn't do that." + +Tom asked him about water-babies. "Yes," he said. He had seen them +often. But he did not think much of them. They were meddlesome little +creatures, that went about helping fish and shells which got into +scrapes. Well, for his part, he should be ashamed to be helped by little +soft creatures that had not even a shell on their backs. He had lived +quite long enough in the world to take care of himself. + +He was a conceited fellow, the old lobster, and not very civil to Tom; +and you will hear how he had to alter his mind before he was done, as +conceited people generally have. But he was so funny, and Tom so lonely, +that he could not quarrel with him; and they used to sit in holes in the +rocks, and chat for hours. + +And about this time there happened to Tom a very strange and important +adventure--so important, indeed, that he was very near never finding the +water-babies at all; and I am sure you would have been sorry for that. + +I hope that you have not forgotten the little white lady all this while. +At least, here she comes, looking like a clean white good little +darling, as she always was, and always will be. For it befell in the +pleasant short December days, when the wind always blows from the +south-west, till Old Father Christmas comes and spreads the great white +table-cloth, ready for little boys and girls to give the birds their +Christmas dinner of crumbs--it befell (to go on) in the pleasant +December days, that Sir John was so busy hunting that nobody at home +could get a word out of him. Four days a week he hunted, and very good +sport he had; and the other two he went to the bench and the board of +guardians, and very good justice he did; and, when he got home in time, +he dined at five; for he hated this absurd new fashion of dining at +eight in the hunting season, which forces a man to make interest with +the footman for cold beef and beer as soon as he comes in, and so spoil +his appetite, and then sleep in an arm-chair in his bedroom, all stiff +and tired, for two or three hours before he can get his dinner like a +gentleman. And do you be like Sir John, my dear little man, when you are +your own master; and, if you want either to read hard or ride hard, +stick to the good old Cambridge hours of breakfast at eight and dinner +at five; by which you may get two days' work out of one. But, of course, +if you find a fox at three in the afternoon and run him till dark, and +leave off twenty miles from home, why you must wait for your dinner till +you can get it, as better men than you have done. Only see that, if you +go hungry, your horse does not; but give him his warm gruel and beer, +and take him gently home, remembering that good horses don't grow on the +hedge like blackberries. + +It befell (to go on a second time) that Sir John, hunting all day, and +dining at five, fell asleep every evening, and snored so terribly that +all the windows in Harthover shook, and the soot fell down the +chimneys. Whereon My Lady, being no more able to get conversation out of +him than a song out of a dead nightingale, determined to go off and +leave him, and the doctor, and Captain Swinger the agent, to snore in +concert every evening to their hearts' content. So she started for the +seaside with all the children, in order to put herself and them into +condition by mild applications of iodine. She might as well have stayed +at home and used Parry's liquid horse-blister, for there was plenty of +it in the stables; and then she would have saved her money, and saved +the chance, also, of making all the children ill instead of well (as +hundreds are made), by taking them to some nasty smelling undrained +lodging, and then wondering how they caught scarlatina and diphtheria: +but people won't be wise enough to understand that till they are dead of +bad smells, and then it will be too late; besides you see, Sir John did +certainly snore very loud. + +But where she went to nobody must know, for fear young ladies should +begin to fancy that there are water-babies there! and so hunt and howk +after them (besides raising the price of lodgings), and keep them in +aquariums, as the ladies at Pompeii (as you may see by the paintings) +used to keep Cupids in cages. But nobody ever heard that they starved +the Cupids, or let them die of dirt and neglect, as English young ladies +do by the poor sea-beasts. So nobody must know where My Lady went. +Letting water-babies die is as bad as taking singing birds' eggs; for, +though there are thousands, ay, millions, of both of them in the world, +yet there is not one too many. + +Now it befell that, on the very shore, and over the very rocks, where +Tom was sitting with his friend the lobster, there walked one day the +little white lady, Ellie herself, and with her a very wise man +indeed--Professor Ptthmllnsprts. + +His mother was a Dutchwoman, and therefore he was born at Curaçao (of +course you have learnt your geography, and therefore know why); and his +father a Pole, and therefore he was brought up at Petropaulowski (of +course you have learnt your modern politics, and therefore know why): +but for all that he was as thorough an Englishman as ever coveted his +neighbour's goods. And his name, as I said, was Professor Ptthmllnsprts, +which is a very ancient and noble Polish name. + +He was, as I said, a very great naturalist, and chief professor of +_Necrobioneopalæonthydrochthonanthropopithekology_ in the new university +which the king of the Cannibal Islands had founded; and, being a member +of the Acclimatisation Society, he had come here to collect all the +nasty things which he could find on the coast of England, and turn them +loose round the Cannibal Islands, because they had not nasty things +enough there to eat what they left. + +But he was a very worthy kind good-natured little old gentleman; and +very fond of children (for he was not the least a cannibal himself); and +very good to all the world as long as it was good to him. Only one +fault he had, which cock-robins have likewise, as you may see if you +look out of the nursery window--that, when any one else found a curious +worm, he would hop round them, and peck them, and set up his tail, and +bristle up his feathers, just as a cock-robin would; and declare that he +found the worm first; and that it was his worm; and, if not, that then +it was not a worm at all. + +He had met Sir John at Scarborough, or Fleetwood, or somewhere or other +(if you don't care where, nobody else does), and had made acquaintance +with him, and become very fond of his children. Now, Sir John knew +nothing about sea-cockyolybirds, and cared less, provided the fishmonger +sent him good fish for dinner; and My Lady knew as little: but she +thought it proper that the children should know something. For in the +stupid old times, you must understand, children were taught to know one +thing, and to know it well; but in these enlightened new times they are +taught to know a little about everything, and to know it all ill; which +is a great deal pleasanter and easier, and therefore quite right. + +So Ellie and he were walking on the rocks, and he was showing her about +one in ten thousand of all the beautiful and curious things which are to +be seen there. But little Ellie was not satisfied with them at all. She +liked much better to play with live children, or even with dolls, which +she could pretend were alive; and at last she said honestly, "I don't +care about all these things, because they can't play with me, or talk +to me. If there were little children now in the water, as there used to +be, and I could see them, I should like that." + +"Children in the water, you strange little duck?" said the professor. + +"Yes," said Ellie. "I know there used to be children in the water, and +mermaids too, and mermen. I saw them all in a picture at home, of a +beautiful lady sailing in a car drawn by dolphins, and babies flying +round her, and one sitting in her lap; and the mermaids swimming and +playing, and the mermen trumpeting on conch-shells; and it is called +'The Triumph of Galatea'; and there is a burning mountain in the picture +behind. It hangs on the great staircase, and I have looked at it ever +since I was a baby, and dreamt about it a hundred times; and it is so +beautiful, that it must be true." + +But the professor had not the least notion of allowing that things were +true, merely because people thought them beautiful. For at that rate, he +said, the Baltas would be quite right in thinking it a fine thing to eat +their grandpapas, because they thought it an ugly thing to put them +underground. The professor, indeed, went further, and held that no man +was forced to believe anything to be true, but what he could see, hear, +taste, or handle. + +He held very strange theories about a good many things. He had even got +up once at the British Association, and declared that apes had +hippopotamus majors in their brains just as men have. Which was a +shocking thing to say; for, if it were so, what would become of the +faith, hope, and charity of immortal millions? You may think that there +are other more important differences between you and an ape, such as +being able to speak, and make machines, and know right from wrong, and +say your prayers, and other little matters of that kind; but that is a +child's fancy, my dear. Nothing is to be depended on but the great +hippopotamus test. If you have a hippopotamus major in your brain, you +are no ape, though you had four hands, no feet, and were more apish than +the apes of all aperies. But if a hippopotamus major is ever discovered +in one single ape's brain, nothing will save your great-great-great-great- +great-great-great-great-great-great-great-greater-greatest-grandmother +from having been an ape too. No, my dear little man; always remember +that the one true, certain, final, and all-important difference between +you and an ape is, that you have a hippopotamus major in your brain, and +it has none; and that, therefore, to discover one in its brain will be a +very wrong and dangerous thing, at which every one will be very much +shocked, as we may suppose they were at the professor.--Though really, +after all, it don't much matter; because--as Lord Dundreary and others +would put it--nobody but men have hippopotamuses in their brains; so, if +a hippopotamus was discovered in an ape's brain, why it would not be +one, you know, but something else. + +But the professor had gone, I am sorry to say, even further than +that; for he had read at the British Association at Melbourne, +Australia, in the year 1999, a paper which assured every one who found +himself the better or wiser for the news, that there were not, never +had been, and could not be, any rational or half-rational beings +except men, anywhere, anywhen, or anyhow; that _nymphs_, _satyrs_, +_fauns_, _inui_, _dwarfs_, _trolls_, _elves_, _gnomes_, _fairies_, +_brownies_, _nixes_, _wilis_, _kobolds_, _leprechaunes_, _cluricaunes_, +_banshees_, _will-o'-the-wisps_, _follets_, _lutins_, _magots_, _goblins_, +_afrits_, _marids_, _jinns_, _ghouls_, _peris_, _deevs_, _angels_, +_archangels_, _imps_, _bogies_, or worse, were nothing at all, and pure +bosh and wind. And he had to get up very early in the morning to prove +that, and to eat his breakfast overnight; but he did it, at least to his +own satisfaction. Whereon a certain great divine, and a very clever +divine was he, called him a regular Sadducee; and probably he was quite +right. Whereon the professor, in return, called him a regular Pharisee; +and probably he was quite right too. But they did not quarrel in the +least; for, when men are men of the world, hard words run off them like +water off a duck's back. So the professor and the divine met at dinner +that evening, and sat together on the sofa afterwards for an hour, and +talked over the state of female labour on the antarctic continent (for +nobody talks shop after his claret), and each vowed that the other was +the best company he ever met in his life. What an advantage it is to be +men of the world! + +From all which you may guess that the professor was not the least of +little Ellie's opinion. So he gave her a succinct compendium of his +famous paper at the British Association, in a form suited for the +youthful mind. But, as we have gone over his arguments against +water-babies once already, which is once too often, we will not repeat +them here. + +Now little Ellie was, I suppose, a stupid little girl; for, instead of +being convinced by Professor Ptthmllnsprts' arguments, she only asked +the same question over again. + +"But why are there not water-babies?" + +I trust and hope that it was because the professor trod at that moment +on the edge of a very sharp mussel, and hurt one of his corns sadly, +that he answered quite sharply, forgetting that he was a scientific man, +and therefore ought to have known that he couldn't know; and that he was +a logician, and therefore ought to have known that he could not prove a +universal negative--I say, I trust and hope it was because the mussel +hurt his corn, that the professor answered quite sharply: + +"Because there ain't." + +Which was not even good English, my dear little boy; for, as you must +know from Aunt Agitate's Arguments, the professor ought to have said, if +he was so angry as to say anything of the kind--Because there are not: +or are none: or are none of them; or (if he had been reading Aunt +Agitate too) because they do not exist. + +And he groped with his net under the weeds so violently, that, as it +befell, he caught poor little Tom. + +He felt the net very heavy; and lifted it out quickly, with Tom all +entangled in the meshes. + +"Dear me!" he cried. "What a large pink Holothurian; with hands, too! It +must be connected with Synapta." + +And he took him out. + +"It has actually eyes!" he cried. "Why, it must be a Cephalopod! This is +most extraordinary!" + +"No, I ain't!" cried Tom, as loud as he could; for he did not like to be +called bad names. + +"It is a water-baby!" cried Ellie; and of course it was. + +"Water-fiddlesticks, my dear!" said the professor; and he turned away +sharply. + +There was no denying it. It was a water-baby: and he had said a moment +ago that there were none. What was he to do? + +He would have liked, of course, to have taken Tom home in a bucket. He +would not have put him in spirits. Of course not. He would have kept him +alive, and petted him (for he was a very kind old gentleman), and +written a book about him, and given him two long names, of which the +first would have said a little about Tom, and the second all about +himself; for of course he would have called him Hydrotecnon +Ptthmllnsprtsianum, or some other long name like that; for they are +forced to call everything by long names now, because they have used up +all the short ones, ever since they took to making nine species out of +one. But--what would all the learned men say to him after his speech at +the British Association? And what would Ellie say, after what he had +just told her? + +There was a wise old heathen once, who said, "Maxima debetur pueris +reverentia"--The greatest reverence is due to children; that is, that +grown people should never say or do anything wrong before children, lest +they should set them a bad example.--Cousin Cramchild says it means, +"The greatest respectfulness is expected from little boys." But he was +raised in a country where little boys are not expected to be respectful, +because all of them are as good as the President:--Well, every one knows +his own concerns best; so perhaps they are. But poor Cousin Cramchild, +to do him justice, not being of that opinion, and having a moral +mission, and being no scholar to speak of, and hard up for an +authority--why, it was a very great temptation for him. But some people, +and I am afraid the professor was one of them, interpret that in a more +strange, curious, one-sided, left-handed, topsy-turvy, inside-out, +behind-before fashion than even Cousin Cramchild; for they make it mean, +that you must show your respect for children, by never confessing +yourself in the wrong to them, even if you know that you are so, lest +they should lose confidence in their elders. + +Now, if the professor had said to Ellie, "Yes, my darling, it is a +water-baby, and a very wonderful thing it is; and it shows how little I +know of the wonders of nature, in spite of forty years' honest labour. I +was just telling you that there could be no such creatures; and, +behold! here is one come to confound my conceit and show me that Nature +can do, and has done, beyond all that man's poor fancy can imagine. So, +let us thank the Maker, and Inspirer, and Lord of Nature for all His +wonderful and glorious works, and try and find out something about this +one";--I think that, if the professor had said that, little Ellie would +have believed him more firmly, and respected him more deeply, and loved +him better, than ever she had done before. But he was of a different +opinion. He hesitated a moment. He longed to keep Tom, and yet he half +wished he never had caught him; and at last he quite longed to get rid +of him. So he turned away and poked Tom with his finger, for want of +anything better to do; and said carelessly, "My dear little maid, you +must have dreamt of water-babies last night, your head is so full of +them." + +Now Tom had been in the most horrible and unspeakable fright all the +while; and had kept as quiet as he could, though he was called a +Holothurian and a Cephalopod; for it was fixed in his little head that +if a man with clothes on caught him, he might put clothes on him too, +and make a dirty black chimney-sweep of him again. But, when the +professor poked him, it was more than he could bear; and, between fright +and rage, he turned to bay as valiantly as a mouse in a corner, and bit +the professor's finger till it bled. + +"Oh! ah! yah!" cried he; and glad of an excuse to be rid of Tom, dropped +him on to the seaweed, and thence he dived into the water and was gone +in a moment. + +[Illustration: "The fairies came flying in at the window and brought her +such a pretty pair of wings."--_P. 126._] + +"But it was a water-baby, and I heard it speak!" cried Ellie. "Ah, it is +gone!" And she jumped down off the rock to try and catch Tom before he +slipped into the sea. + +Too late! and what was worse, as she sprang down, she slipped, and fell +some six feet, with her head on a sharp rock, and lay quite still. + +The professor picked her up, and tried to waken her, and called to her, +and cried over her, for he loved her very much: but she would not waken +at all. So he took her up in his arms and carried her to her governess, +and they all went home; and little Ellie was put to bed, and lay there +quite still; only now and then she woke up and called out about the +water-baby: but no one knew what she meant, and the professor did not +tell, for he was ashamed to tell. + +And, after a week, one moonlight night, the fairies came flying in at +the window and brought her such a pretty pair of wings that she could +not help putting them on; and she flew with them out of the window, and +over the land, and over the sea, and up through the clouds, and nobody +heard or saw anything of her for a very long while. + +And this is why they say that no one has ever yet seen a water-baby. For +my part, I believe that the naturalists get dozens of them when they are +out dredging; but they say nothing about them, and throw them overboard +again, for fear of spoiling their theories. But, you see the +professor was found out, as every one is in due time. A very terrible +old fairy found the professor out; she felt his bumps, and cast his +nativity, and took the lunars of him carefully inside and out; and so +she knew what he would do as well as if she had seen it in a print book, +as they say in the dear old west country; and he did it; and so he was +found out beforehand, as everybody always is; and the old fairy will +find out the naturalists some day, and put them in the _Times_, and then +on whose side will the laugh be? + +So the old fairy took him in hand very severely there and then. But she +says she is always most severe with the best people, because there is +most chance of curing them, and therefore they are the patients who pay +her best; for she has to work on the same salary as the Emperor of +China's physicians (it is a pity that all do not), no cure, no pay. + +So she took the poor professor in hand: and because he was not content +with things as they are, she filled his head with things as they are +not, to try if he would like them better; and because he did not choose +to believe in a water-baby when he saw it, she made him believe in worse +things than water-babies--in _unicorns_, _fire-drakes_, _manticoras_, +_basilisks_, _amphisbænas_, _griffins_, _ph[oe]nixes_, _rocs_, _orcs_, +_dog-headed men_, _three-headed dogs_, _three-bodied geryons_, and other +pleasant creatures, which folks think never existed yet, and which folks +hope never will exist, though they know nothing about the matter, and +never will; and these creatures so upset, terrified, flustered, +aggravated, confused, astounded, horrified, and totally flabbergasted +the poor professor that the doctors said that he was out of his wits for +three months; and perhaps they were right, as they are now and then. + +So all the doctors in the county were called in to make a report on his +case; and of course every one of them flatly contradicted the other: +else what use is there in being men of science? But at last the majority +agreed on a report in the true medical language, one half bad Latin, the +other half worse Greek, and the rest what might have been English, if +they had only learnt to write it. And this is the beginning thereof-- + +"_The subanhypaposupernal anastomoses of peritomic diacellurite in the +encephalo digital region of the distinguished individual of whose +symptomatic ph[oe]nomena we had the melancholy honour (subsequently to a +preliminary diagnostic inspection) of making an inspectorial diagnosis, +presenting the interexclusively quadrilateral and antinomian diathesis +known as Bumpsterhausen's blue follicles, we proceeded_"-- + +But what they proceeded to do My Lady never knew; for she was so +frightened at the long words that she ran for her life, and locked +herself into her bedroom, for fear of being squashed by the words and +strangled by the sentence. A boa constrictor, she said, was bad company +enough: but what was a boa constrictor made of paving stones? + +"It was quite shocking! What can they think is the matter with him?" +said she to the old nurse. + +"That his wit's just addled; may be wi' unbelief and heathenry," quoth +she. + +"Then why can't they say so?" + +And the heaven, and the sea, and the rocks, and the vales +re-echoed--"Why indeed?" But the doctors never heard them. + +So she made Sir John write to the _Times_ to command the Chancellor of +the Exchequer for the time being to put a tax on long words;-- + +A light tax on words over three syllables, which are necessary evils, +like rats: but, like them, must be kept down judiciously. + +A heavy tax on words over four syllables, as _heterodoxy_, +_spontaneity_, _spiritualism_, _spuriosity_, _etc._ + +And on words over five syllables (of which I hope no one will wish to +see any examples), a totally prohibitory tax. + +And a similar prohibitory tax on words derived from three or more +languages at once; words derived from two languages having become so +common that there was no more hope of rooting out them than of rooting +out peth-winds. + +The Chancellor of the Exchequer, being a scholar and a man of sense, +jumped at the notion; for he saw in it the one and only plan for +abolishing Schedule D: but when he brought in his bill, most of the +Irish members, and (I am sorry to say) some of the Scotch likewise, +opposed it most strongly, on the ground that in a free country no man +was bound either to understand himself or to let others understand him. +So the bill fell through on the first reading; and the Chancellor, +being a philosopher, comforted himself with the thought that it was not +the first time that a woman had hit off a grand idea and the men turned +up their stupid noses thereat. + +Now the doctors had it all their own way; and to work they went in +earnest, and they gave the poor professor divers and sundry medicines, +as prescribed by the ancients and moderns, from Hippocrates to +Feuchtersleben, as below, viz.-- + + 1. _Hellebore, to wit_-- + _Hellebore of Æta._ + _Hellebore of Galatia._ + _Hellebore of Sicily._ + _And all other Hellebores, after the method of the + Helleborising Helleborists of the Helleboric era. + But that would not do. Bumpsterhausen's blue follicles + would not stir an inch out of his encephalo digital + region._ + + 2. _Trying to find out what was the matter with him, after the + method of_ + _Hippocrates_, + _Aretæus_, + _Celsus_, + _C[oe]lius Aurelianus_, + _And Galen_. + +But they found that a great deal too much trouble, as most people have +since; and so had recourse to-- + + 3. _Borage._ + _Cauteries._ + +Boring a hole in his head to let out fumes, which (says Gordonius) +"will, without doubt, do much good." But it didn't. + + _Bezoar stone._ + _Diamargaritum._ + _A ram's brain boiled in spice._ + _Oil of wormwood._ + _Water of Nile._ + _Capers._ + _Good wine (but there was none to be got)._ + _The water of a smith's forge._ + _Hops._ + _Ambergris._ + _Mandrake pillows._ + _Dormouse fat._ + _Hares' ears._ + _Starvation._ + _Camphor._ + _Salts and senna._ + _Musk._ + _Opium._ + _Strait-waistcoats._ + _Bullyings._ + _Bumpings._ + _Blisterings._ + _Bleedings._ + _Bucketings with cold water._ + _Knockings down._ + _Kneeling on his chest till they broke it in, + etc. etc.; after the mediæval or monkish + method: but that would not do. Bumpsterhausen's + blue follicles stuck there still._ + +Then-- + + 4. _Coaxing._ + _Kissing._ + _Champagne and turtle._ + _Red herrings and soda water._ + _Good advice._ + _Gardening._ + _Croquet._ + _Musical soirées._ + _Aunt Sally._ + _Mild tobacco._ + _The Saturday Review._ + _A carriage with outriders, etc. etc._ + +After the modern method. But that would not do. + +And if he had but been a convict lunatic, and had shot at the Queen, +killed all his creditors to avoid paying them, or indulged in any other +little amiable eccentricity of that kind, they would have given him in +addition-- + +The healthiest situation in England, on Easthampstead Plain. + +Free run of Windsor Forest. + +The _Times_ every morning. + +A double-barrelled gun and pointers, and leave to shoot three Wellington +College boys a week (not more) in case black game was scarce. + +But as he was neither mad enough nor bad enough to be allowed such +luxuries, they grew desperate, and fell into bad ways, viz.-- + + 5. _Suffumigations of sulphur._ + _Herrwiggius his "Incomparable drink for madmen"_: + +Only they could not find out what it was. + + _Suffumigation of the liver of the fish * * *_ + +Only they had forgotten its name, so Dr. Gray could not well procure +them a specimen. + + _Metallic tractors._ + _Holloway's Ointment._ + _Electro-biology._ + _Valentine Greatrakes his Stroking Cure._ + _Spirit-rapping._ + _Holloway's Pills._ + _Table-turning._ + _Morison's Pills._ + _Hom[oe]opathy._ + _Parr's Life Pills._ + _Mesmerism._ + _Pure Bosh._ + _Exorcisms, for which they read Maleus Maleficarum, Nideri + Formicarium, Delrio, Wierus, etc._ + +But could not get one that mentioned water-babies. + + _Hydropathy._ + _Madame Rachel's Elixir of Youth._ + _The Poughkeepsie Seer his Prophecies._ + _The distilled liquor of addle eggs._ + _Pyropathy._ + +As successfully employed by the old inquisitors to cure the malady of +thought, and now by the Persian Mollahs to cure that of rheumatism. + + _Geopathy, or burying him._ + _Atmopathy, or steaming him._ + _Sympathy, after the method of Basil Valentine his Triumph + of Antimony, and Kenelm Digby his Weapon-salve, which some + call a hair of the dog that bit him._ + _Hermopathy, or pouring mercury down his throat to move the + animal spirits._ + _Meteoropathy, or going up to the moon to look for his lost + wits, as Ruggiero did for Orlando Furioso's: only, having + no hippogriff, they were forced to use a balloon; and, + falling into the North Sea, were picked up by a Yarmouth + herring-boat, and came home much the wiser, and all over + scales._ + _Antipathy, or using him like "a man and a brother."_ + _Apathy, or doing nothing at all._ + _With all other ipathies and opathies which Noodle has invented, + and Foodle tried, since black-fellows chipped flints at + Abbéville--which is a considerable time ago, to judge by + the Great Exhibition._ + +But nothing would do; for he screamed and cried all day for a +water-baby, to come and drive away the monsters; and of course they did +not try to find one, because they did not believe in them, and were +thinking of nothing but Bumpsterhausen's blue follicles; having, as +usual, set the cart before the horse, and taken the effect for the +cause. + +So they were forced at last to let the poor professor ease his mind by +writing a great book, exactly contrary to all his old opinions; in which +he proved that the moon was made of green cheese, and that all the mites +in it (which you may see sometimes quite plain through a telescope, if +you will only keep the lens dirty enough, as Mr. Weekes kept his voltaic +battery) are nothing in the world but little babies, who are hatching +and swarming up there in millions, ready to come down into this world +whenever children want a new little brother or sister. + +Which must be a mistake, for this one reason: that, there being no +atmosphere round the moon (though some one or other says there is, at +least on the other side, and that he has been round at the back of it to +see, and found that the moon was just the shape of a Bath bun, and so +wet that the man in the moon went about on Midsummer-day in Macintoshes +and Cording's boots, spearing eels and sneezing); that, therefore, I +say, there being no atmosphere, there can be no evaporation; and +therefore, the dew-point can never fall below 71.5° below zero of +Fahrenheit: and, therefore, it cannot be cold enough there about four +o'clock in the morning to condense the babies' mesenteric apophthegms +into their left ventricles; and, therefore, they can never catch the +hooping-cough; and if they do not have hooping-cough, they cannot be +babies at all; and, therefore, there are no babies in the moon.--Q.E.D. + +Which may seem a roundabout reason; and so, perhaps, it is: but you will +have heard worse ones in your time, and from better men than you are. + +But one thing is certain; that, when the good old doctor got his book +written, he felt considerably relieved from Bumpsterhausen's blue +follicles, and a few things infinitely worse; to wit, from pride and +vain-glory, and from blindness and hardness of heart; which are the true +causes of Bumpsterhausen's blue follicles, and of a good many other ugly +things besides. Whereon the foul flood-water in his brains ran down, and +cleared to a fine coffee colour, such as fish like to rise in, till very +fine clean fresh-run fish did begin to rise in his brains; and he caught +two or three of them (which is exceedingly fine sport, for brain +rivers), and anatomised them carefully, and never mentioned what he +found out from them, except to little children; and became ever after a +sadder and a wiser man; which is a very good thing to become, my dear +little boy, even though one has to pay a heavy price for the blessing. + + "Stern Lawgiver! yet thou dost wear + The Godhead's most benignant grace; + Nor know we anything so fair + As is the smile upon thy face: + Flowers laugh before thee on their beds + And fragrance in thy footing treads; + Thou dost preserve the stars from wrong; + And the most ancient heavens, through Thee, are fresh and strong." + + WORDSWORTH, _Ode to Duty_. + + + + + +CHAPTER V + + +BUT what became of little Tom? + +He slipped away off the rocks into the water, as I said before. But he +could not help thinking of little Ellie. He did not remember who she +was; but he knew that she was a little girl, though she was a hundred +times as big as he. That is not surprising: size has nothing to do with +kindred. A tiny weed may be first cousin to a great tree; and a little +dog like Vick knows that Lioness is a dog too, though she is twenty +times larger than herself. So Tom knew that Ellie was a little girl, and +thought about her all that day, and longed to have had her to play with; +but he had very soon to think of something else. And here is the account +of what happened to him, as it was published next morning in the +Waterproof Gazette, on the finest watered paper, for the use of the +great fairy, Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid, who reads the news very carefully +every morning, and especially the police cases, as you will hear very +soon. + +He was going along the rocks in three-fathom water, watching the pollock +catch prawns, and the wrasses nibble barnacles off the rocks, shells and +all, when he saw a round cage of green withes; and inside it, looking +very much ashamed of himself, sat his friend the lobster, twiddling his +horns, instead of thumbs. + +"What, have you been naughty, and have they put you in the lock-up?" +asked Tom. + +The lobster felt a little indignant at such a notion, but he was too +much depressed in spirits to argue; so he only said, "I can't get out." + +"Why did you get in?" + +"After that nasty piece of dead fish." He had thought it looked and +smelt very nice when he was outside, and so it did, for a lobster: but +now he turned round and abused it because he was angry with himself. + +"Where did you get in?" + +"Through that round hole at the top." + +"Then why don't you get out through it?" + +"Because I can't": and the lobster twiddled his horns more fiercely than +ever, but he was forced to confess. + +"I have jumped upwards, downwards, backwards, and sideways, at least +four thousand times; and I can't get out: I always get up underneath +there, and can't find the hole." + +Tom looked at the trap, and having more wit than the lobster, he saw +plainly enough what was the matter; as you may if you will look at a +lobster-pot. + +"Stop a bit," said Tom. "Turn your tail up to me, and I'll pull you +through hindforemost, and then you won't stick in the spikes." + +But the lobster was so stupid and clumsy that he couldn't hit the hole. +Like a great many fox-hunters, he was very sharp as long as he was in +his own country; but as soon as they get out of it they lose their +heads; and so the lobster, so to speak, lost his tail. + +Tom reached and clawed down the hole after him, till he caught hold of +him; and then, as was to be expected, the clumsy lobster pulled him in +head foremost. + +"Hullo! here is a pretty business," said Tom. "Now take your great +claws, and break the points off those spikes, and then we shall both get +out easily." + +"Dear me, I never thought of that," said the lobster; "and after all the +experience of life that I have had!" + +You see, experience is of very little good unless a man, or a lobster, +has wit enough to make use of it. For a good many people, like old +Polonius, have seen all the world, and yet remain little better than +children after all. + +But they had not got half the spikes away when they saw a great dark +cloud over them: and lo, and behold, it was the otter. + +How she did grin and grin when she saw Tom. "Yar!" said she, "you little +meddlesome wretch, I have you now! I will serve you out for telling the +salmon where I was!" And she crawled all over the pot to get in. + +Tom was horribly frightened, and still more frightened when she found +the hole in the top, and squeezed herself right down through it, all +eyes and teeth. But no sooner was her head inside than valiant Mr. +Lobster caught her by the nose and held on. + +And there they were all three in the pot, rolling over and over, and +very tight packing it was. And the lobster tore at the otter, and the +otter tore at the lobster, and both squeezed and thumped poor Tom till +he had no breath left in his body; and I don't know what would have +happened to him if he had not at last got on the otter's back, and safe +out of the hole. + +He was right glad when he got out: but he would not desert his friend +who had saved him; and the first time he saw his tail uppermost he +caught hold of it, and pulled with all his might. + +But the lobster would not let go. + +"Come along," said Tom; "don't you see she is dead?" And so she was, +quite drowned and dead. + +And that was the end of the wicked otter. + +But the lobster would not let go. + +"Come along, you stupid old stick-in-the-mud," cried Tom, "or the +fisherman will catch you!" And that was true, for Tom felt some one +above beginning to haul up the pot. + +But the lobster would not let go. + +Tom saw the fisherman haul him up to the boat-side, and thought it was +all up with him. But when Mr. Lobster saw the fisherman, he gave such a +furious and tremendous snap, that he snapped out of his hand, and out of +the pot, and safe into the sea. But he left his knobbed claw behind +him; for it never came into his stupid head to let go after all, so he +just shook his claw off as the easier method. It was something of a +bull, that; but you must know the lobster was an Irish lobster, and was +hatched off Island Magee at the mouth of Belfast Lough. + +Tom asked the lobster why he never thought of letting go. He said very +determinedly that it was a point of honour among lobsters. And so it is, +as the Mayor of Plymouth found out once to his cost--eight or nine +hundred years ago, of course; for if it had happened lately it would be +personal to mention it. + +For one day he was so tired with sitting on a hard chair, in a grand +furred gown, with a gold chain round his neck, hearing one policeman +after another come in and sing, "What shall we do with the drunken +sailor, so early in the morning?" and answering them each exactly alike: + +"Put him in the round house till he gets sober, so early in the +morning"-- + +That, when it was over, he jumped up, and played leap-frog with the +town-clerk till he burst his buttons, and then had his luncheon, and +burst some more buttons, and then said: "It is a low spring-tide; I +shall go out this afternoon and cut my capers." + +Now he did not mean to cut such capers as you eat with boiled mutton. It +was the commandant of artillery at Valetta who used to amuse himself +with cutting them, and who stuck upon one of the bastions a notice, "No +one allowed to cut capers here but me," which greatly edified the +midshipmen in port, and the Maltese on the Nix Mangiare stairs. But all +that the mayor meant was that he would go and have an afternoon's fun, +like any schoolboy, and catch lobsters with an iron hook. + +So to the Mewstone he went, and for lobsters he looked. And when he came +to a certain crack in the rocks he was so excited that, instead of +putting in his hook, he put in his hand; and Mr. Lobster was at home, +and caught him by the finger, and held on. + +"Yah!" said the mayor, and pulled as hard as he dared: but the more he +pulled, the more the lobster pinched, till he was forced to be quiet. + +Then he tried to get his hook in with his other hand; but the hole was +too narrow. + +Then he pulled again; but he could not stand the pain. + +Then he shouted and bawled for help: but there was no one nearer him +than the men-of-war inside the breakwater. + +Then he began to turn a little pale; for the tide flowed, and still the +lobster held on. + +Then he turned quite white; for the tide was up to his knees, and still +the lobster held on. + +Then he thought of cutting off his finger; but he wanted two things to +do it with--courage and a knife; and he had got neither. + +Then he turned quite yellow; for the tide was up to his waist, and still +the lobster held on. + +Then he thought over all the naughty things he ever had done; all the +sand which he had put in the sugar, and the sloe-leaves in the tea, and +the water in the treacle, and the salt in the tobacco (because his +brother was a brewer, and a man must help his own kin). + +Then he turned quite blue; for the tide was up to his breast, and still +the lobster held on. + +Then, I have no doubt, he repented fully of all the said naughty things +which he had done, and promised to mend his life, as too many do when +they think they have no life left to mend. Whereby, as they fancy, they +make a very cheap bargain. But the old fairy with the birch rod soon +undeceives them. + +And then he grew all colours at once, and turned up his eyes like a duck +in thunder; for the water was up to his chin, and still the lobster held +on. + +And then came a man-of-war's boat round the Mewstone, and saw his head +sticking up out of the water. One said it was a keg of brandy, and +another that it was a cocoa-nut, and another that it was a buoy loose, +and another that it was a black diver, and wanted to fire at it, which +would not have been pleasant for the mayor: but just then such a yell +came out of a great hole in the middle of it that the midshipman in +charge guessed what it was, and bade pull up to it as fast as they +could. So somehow or other the Jack-tars got the lobster out, and set +the mayor free, and put him ashore at the Barbican. He never went +lobster-catching again; and we will hope he put no more salt in the +tobacco, not even to sell his brother's beer. + +[Illustration: "A real live water-baby sitting on the white sand."--_P. +146_.] + +And that is the story of the Mayor of Plymouth, which has two +advantages--first, that of being quite true; and second, that of having +(as folks say all good stories ought to have) no moral whatsoever: no +more, indeed, has any part of this book, because it is a fairy tale, you +know. + +And now happened to Tom a most wonderful thing; for he had not left the +lobster five minutes before he came upon a water-baby. + +A real live water-baby, sitting on the white sand, very busy about a +little point of rock. And when it saw Tom it looked up for a moment, and +then cried, "Why, you are not one of us. You are a new baby! Oh, how +delightful!" + +And it ran to Tom, and Tom ran to it, and they hugged and kissed each +other for ever so long, they did not know why. But they did not want any +introductions there under the water. + +At last Tom said, "Oh, where have you been all this while? I have been +looking for you so long, and I have been so lonely." + +"We have been here for days and days. There are hundreds of us about the +rocks. How was it you did not see us, or hear us when we sing and romp +every evening before we go home?" + +Tom looked at the baby again, and then he said: + +"Well, this is wonderful! I have seen things just like you again and +again, but I thought you were shells, or sea-creatures. I never took you +for water-babies like myself." + +Now, was not that very odd? So odd, indeed, that you will, no doubt, +want to know how it happened, and why Tom could never find a water-baby +till after he had got the lobster out of the pot. And, if you will read +this story nine times over, and then think for yourself, you will find +out why. It is not good for little boys to be told everything, and never +to be forced to use their own wits. They would learn, then, no more than +they do at Dr. Dulcimer's famous suburban establishment for the idler +members of the youthful aristocracy, where the masters learn the lessons +and the boys hear them--which saves a great deal of trouble--for the +time being. + +"Now," said the baby, "come and help me, or I shall not have finished +before my brothers and sisters come, and it is time to go home." + +"What shall I help you at?" + +"At this poor dear little rock; a great clumsy boulder came rolling by +in the last storm, and knocked all its head off, and rubbed off all its +flowers. And now I must plant it again with seaweeds, and coralline, and +anemones, and I will make it the prettiest little rock-garden on all the +shore." + +So they worked away at the rock, and planted it, and smoothed the sand +down round it, and capital fun they had till the tide began to turn. And +then Tom heard all the other babies coming, laughing and singing and +shouting and romping; and the noise they made was just like the noise of +the ripple. So he knew that he had been hearing and seeing the +water-babies all along; only he did not know them, because his eyes and +ears were not opened. + +And in they came, dozens and dozens of them, some bigger than Tom and +some smaller, all in the neatest little white bathing dresses; and when +they found that he was a new baby, they hugged him and kissed him, and +then put him in the middle and danced round him on the sand, and there +was no one ever so happy as poor little Tom. + +"Now then," they cried all at once, "we must come away home, we must +come away home, or the tide will leave us dry. We have mended all the +broken seaweed, and put all the rock-pools in order, and planted all the +shells again in the sand, and nobody will see where the ugly storm swept +in last week." + +And this is the reason why the rock-pools are always so neat and clean; +because the water-babies come inshore after every storm to sweep them +out, and comb them down, and put them all to rights again. + +Only where men are wasteful and dirty, and let sewers run into the sea +instead of putting the stuff upon the fields like thrifty reasonable +souls; or throw herrings' heads and dead dog-fish, or any other refuse, +into the water; or in any way make a mess upon the clean shore--there +the water-babies will not come, sometimes not for hundreds of years (for +they cannot abide anything smelly or foul), but leave the sea-anemones +and the crabs to clear away everything, till the good tidy sea has +covered up all the dirt in soft mud and clean sand, where the +water-babies can plant live cockles and whelks and razor-shells and +sea-cucumbers and golden-combs, and make a pretty live garden again, +after man's dirt is cleared away. And that, I suppose, is the reason why +there are no water-babies at any watering-place which I have ever seen. + +And where is the home of the water-babies? In St. Brandan's fairy isle. + +Did you never hear of the blessed St. Brandan, how he preached to the +wild Irish on the wild, wild Kerry coast, he and five other hermits, +till they were weary and longed to rest? For the wild Irish would not +listen to them, or come to confession and to mass, but liked better to +brew potheen, and dance the pater o'pee, and knock each other over the +head with shillelaghs, and shoot each other from behind turf-dykes, and +steal each other's cattle, and burn each other's homes; till St. Brandan +and his friends were weary of them, for they would not learn to be +peaceable Christians at all. + +So St. Brandan went out to the point of Old Dunmore, and looked over the +tide-way roaring round the Blasquets, at the end of all the world, and +away into the ocean, and sighed--"Ah that I had wings as a dove!" And +far away, before the setting sun, he saw a blue fairy sea, and golden +fairy islands, and he said, "Those are the islands of the blest." Then +he and his friends got into a hooker, and sailed away and away to the +westward, and were never heard of more. But the people who would not +hear him were changed into gorillas, and gorillas they are until this +day. + +And when St. Brandan and the hermits came to that fairy isle they found +it overgrown with cedars and full of beautiful birds; and he sat down +under the cedars and preached to all the birds in the air. And they +liked his sermons so well that they told the fishes in the sea; and they +came, and St. Brandan preached to them; and the fishes told the +water-babies, who live in the caves under the isle; and they came up by +hundreds every Sunday, and St. Brandan got quite a neat little +Sunday-school. And there he taught the water-babies for a great many +hundred years, till his eyes grew too dim to see, and his beard grew so +long that he dared not walk for fear of treading on it, and then he +might have tumbled down. And at last he and the five hermits fell fast +asleep under the cedar-shades, and there they sleep unto this day. But +the fairies took to the water-babies, and taught them their lessons +themselves. + +And some say that St. Brandan will awake and begin to teach the babies +once more: but some think that he will sleep on, for better for worse, +till the coming of the Cocqcigrues. But, on still clear summer evenings, +when the sun sinks down into the sea, among golden cloud-capes and +cloud-islands, and locks and friths of azure sky, the sailors fancy that +they see, away to westward, St. Brandan's fairy isle. + +[Illustration: "Tom found that the isle stood all on pillars, and that +its roots were full of caves."--_P. 151_.] + +But whether men can see it or not, St. Brandan's Isle once actually +stood there; a great land out in the ocean, which has sunk and sunk +beneath the waves. Old Plato called it Atlantis, and told strange +tales of the wise men who lived therein, and of the wars they fought in +the old times. And from off that island came strange flowers, which +linger still about this land:--the Cornish heath, and Cornish moneywort, +and the delicate Venus's hair, and the London-pride which covers the +Kerry mountains, and the little pink butterwort of Devon, and the great +blue butterwort of Ireland, and the Connemara heath, and the +bristle-fern of the Turk waterfall, and many a strange plant more; all +fairy tokens left for wise men and good children from off St. Brandan's +Isle. + +Now when Tom got there, he found that the isle stood all on pillars, and +that its roots were full of caves. There were pillars of black basalt, +like Staffa; and pillars of green and crimson serpentine, like Kynance; +and pillars ribboned with red and white and yellow sandstone, like +Livermead; and there were blue grottoes like Capri, and white grottoes +like Adelsberg; all curtained and draped with seaweeds, purple and +crimson, green and brown; and strewn with soft white sand, on which the +water-babies sleep every night. But, to keep the place clean and sweet, +the crabs picked up all the scraps off the floor and ate them like so +many monkeys; while the rocks were covered with ten thousand +sea-anemones, and corals and madrepores, who scavenged the water all day +long, and kept it nice and pure. But, to make up to them for having to +do such nasty work, they were not left black and dirty, as poor +chimney-sweeps and dustmen are. No; the fairies are more considerate and +just than that, and have dressed them all in the most beautiful colours +and patterns, till they look like vast flower-beds of gay blossoms. If +you think I am talking nonsense, I can only say that it is true; and +that an old gentleman named Fourier used to say that we ought to do the +same by chimney-sweeps and dustmen, and honour them instead of despising +them; and he was a very clever old gentleman: but, unfortunately for him +and the world, as mad as a March hare. + +And, instead of watchmen and policemen to keep out nasty things at +night, there were thousands and thousands of water-snakes, and most +wonderful creatures they were. They were all named after the Nereids, +the sea-fairies who took care of them, Eunice and Polynoe, Phyllodoce +and Psamathe, and all the rest of the pretty darlings who swim round +their Queen Amphitrite, and her car of cameo shell. They were dressed in +green velvet, and black velvet, and purple velvet; and were all jointed +in rings; and some of them had three hundred brains apiece, so that they +must have been uncommonly shrewd detectives; and some had eyes in their +tails; and some had eyes in every joint, so that they kept a very sharp +look-out; and when they wanted a baby-snake, they just grew one at the +end of their own tails, and when it was able to take care of itself it +dropped off; so that they brought up their families very cheaply. But if +any nasty thing came by, out they rushed upon it; and then out of each +of their hundreds of feet there sprang a whole cutler's shop of + + _Scythes_, _Javelins_, + _Billhooks_, _Lances_, + _Pickaxes_, _Halberts_, + _Forks_, _Gisarines_, + _Penknives_, _Poleaxes_, + _Rapiers_, _Fishhooks_, + _Sabres_, _Bradawls_, + _Yataghans_, _Gimblets_, + _Creeses_, _Corkscrews_, + _Ghoorka swords_, _Pins_, + _Tucks_, _Needles_, + _And so forth_, + +which stabbed, shot, poked, pricked, scratched, ripped, pinked, and +crimped those naughty beasts so terribly that they had to run for their +lives, or else be chopped into small pieces and be eaten afterwards. +And, if that is not all, every word, true, then there is no faith in +microscopes, and all is over with the Linnæan Society. + +And there were the water-babies in thousands, more than Tom, or you +either, could count.--All the little children whom the good fairies take +to, because their cruel mothers and fathers will not; all who are +untaught and brought up heathens, and all who come to grief by ill-usage +or ignorance or neglect; all the little children who are overlaid, or +given gin when they are young, or are let to drink out of hot kettles, +or to fall into the fire; all the little children in alleys and courts, +and tumble-down cottages, who die by fever, and cholera, and measles, +and scarlatina, and nasty complaints which no one has any business to +have, and which no one will have some day, when folks have common sense; +and all the little children who have been killed by cruel masters and +wicked soldiers; they were all there, except, of course, the babes of +Bethlehem who were killed by wicked King Herod; for they were taken +straight to heaven long ago, as everybody knows, and we call them the +Holy Innocents. + +But I wish Tom had given up all his naughty tricks, and left off +tormenting dumb animals now that he had plenty of playfellows to amuse +him. Instead of that, I am sorry to say, he would meddle with the +creatures, all but the water-snakes, for they would stand no nonsense. +So he tickled the madrepores, to make them shut up; and frightened the +crabs, to make them hide in the sand and peep out at him with the tips +of their eyes; and put stones into the anemones' mouths, to make them +fancy that their dinner was coming. + +The other children warned him, and said, "Take care what you are at. +Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid is coming." But Tom never heeded them, being quite +riotous with high spirits and good luck, till, one Friday morning early, +Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid came indeed. + +A very tremendous lady she was; and when the children saw her they all +stood in a row, very upright indeed, and smoothed down their bathing +dresses, and put their hands behind them, just as if they were going to +be examined by the inspector. + +And she had on a black bonnet, and a black shawl, and no crinoline at +all; and a pair of large green spectacles, and a great hooked nose, +hooked so much that the bridge of it stood quite up above her eyebrows; +and under her arm she carried a great birch-rod. Indeed, she was so ugly +that Tom was tempted to make faces at her: but did not; for he did not +admire the look of the birch-rod under her arm. + +And she looked at the children one by one, and seemed very much +pleased with them, though she never asked them one question about +how they were behaving; and then began giving them all sorts of nice +sea-things--sea-cakes, sea-apples, sea-oranges, sea-bullseyes, +sea-toffee; and to the very best of all she gave sea-ices, made out of +sea-cows' cream, which never melt under water. + +And, if you don't quite believe me, then just think--What is more cheap +and plentiful than sea-rock? Then why should there not be sea-toffee as +well? And every one can find sea-lemons (ready quartered too) if they +will look for them at low tide; and sea-grapes too sometimes, hanging in +bunches; and, if you will go to Nice, you will find the fish-market full +of sea-fruit, which they call "frutta di mare": though I suppose they +call them "fruits de mer" now, out of compliment to that most +successful, and therefore most immaculate, potentate who is seemingly +desirous of inheriting the blessing pronounced on those who remove their +neighbours' land-mark. And, perhaps, that is the very reason why the +place is called Nice, because there are so many nice things in the sea +there: at least, if it is not, it ought to be. + +Now little Tom watched all these sweet things given away, till his mouth +watered, and his eyes grew as round as an owl's. For he hoped that his +turn would come at last; and so it did. For the lady called him up, and +held out her fingers with something in them, and popped it into his +mouth; and, lo and behold, it was a nasty cold hard pebble. + +"You are a very cruel woman," said he, and began to whimper. + +"And you are a very cruel boy; who puts pebbles into the sea-anemones' +mouths, to take them in, and make them fancy that they had caught a good +dinner! As you did to them, so I must do to you." + +"Who told you that?" said Tom. + +"You did yourself, this very minute." + +Tom had never opened his lips; so he was very much taken aback indeed. + +"Yes; every one tells me exactly what they have done wrong; and that +without knowing it themselves. So there is no use trying to hide +anything from me. Now go, and be a good boy, and I will put no more +pebbles in your mouth, if you put none in other creatures'." + +"I did not know there was any harm in it," said Tom. + +"Then you know now. People continually say that to me: but I tell them, +if you don't know that fire burns, that is no reason that it should not +burn you; and if you don't know that dirt breeds fever, that is no +reason why the fevers should not kill you. The lobster did not know that +there was any harm in getting into the lobster-pot; but it caught him +all the same." + +"Dear me," thought Tom, "she knows everything!" And so she did, indeed. + +"And so, if you do not know that things are wrong, that is no reason why +you should not be punished for them; though not as much, not as much, my +little man" (and the lady looked very kindly, after all), "as if you did +know." + +"Well, you are a little hard on a poor lad," said Tom. + +"Not at all; I am the best friend you ever had in all your life. But I +will tell you; I cannot help punishing people when they do wrong. I like +it no more than they do; I am often very, very sorry for them, poor +things: but I cannot help it. If I tried not to do it, I should do it +all the same. For I work by machinery, just like an engine; and am full +of wheels and springs inside; and am wound up very carefully, so that I +cannot help going." + +"Was it long ago since they wound you up?" asked Tom. For he thought, +the cunning little fellow, "She will run down some day: or they may +forget to wind her up, as old Grimes used to forget to wind up his watch +when he came in from the public-house; and then I shall be safe." + +"I was wound up once and for all, so long ago, that I forget all about +it." + +"Dear me," said Tom, "you must have been made a long time!" + +"I never was made, my child; and I shall go for ever and ever; for I am +as old as Eternity, and yet as young as Time." + +And there came over the lady's face a very curious expression--very +solemn, and very sad; and yet very, very sweet. And she looked up and +away, as if she were gazing through the sea, and through the sky, at +something far, far off; and as she did so, there came such a quiet, +tender, patient, hopeful smile over her face that Tom thought for the +moment that she did not look ugly at all. And no more she did; for she +was like a great many people who have not a pretty feature in their +faces, and yet are lovely to behold, and draw little children's hearts +to them at once; because though the house is plain enough, yet from the +windows a beautiful and good spirit is looking forth. + +And Tom smiled in her face, she looked so pleasant for the moment. And +the strange fairy smiled too, and said: + +"Yes. You thought me very ugly just now, did you not?" + +Tom hung down his head, and got very red about the ears. + +"And I am very ugly. I am the ugliest fairy in the world; and I shall +be, till people behave themselves as they ought to do. And then I shall +grow as handsome as my sister, who is the loveliest fairy in the world; +and her name is Mrs. Doasyouwouldbedoneby. So she begins where I end, +and I begin where she ends; and those who will not listen to her must +listen to me, as you will see. Now, all of you run away, except Tom; and +he may stay and see what I am going to do. It will be a very good +warning for him to begin with, before he goes to school. + +"Now, Tom, every Friday I come down here and call up all who have +ill-used little children and serve them as they served the children." + +And at that Tom was frightened, and crept under a stone; which made the +two crabs who lived there very angry, and frightened their friend the +butter-fish into flapping hysterics: but he would not move for them. + +And first she called up all the doctors who give little children so much +physic (they were most of them old ones; for the young ones have learnt +better, all but a few army surgeons, who still fancy that a baby's +inside is much like a Scotch grenadier's), and she set them all in a +row; and very rueful they looked; for they knew what was coming. + +And first she pulled all their teeth out; and then she bled them all +round: and then she dosed them with calomel, and jalap, and salts and +senna, and brimstone and treacle; and horrible faces they made; and then +she gave them a great emetic of mustard and water, and no basons; and +began all over again; and that was the way she spent the morning. + +And then she called up a whole troop of foolish ladies, who pinch up +their children's waists and toes; and she laced them all up in tight +stays, so that they were choked and sick, and their noses grew red, and +their hands and feet swelled; and then she crammed their poor feet into +the most dreadfully tight boots, and made them all dance, which they did +most clumsily indeed; and then she asked them how they liked it; and +when they said not at all, she let them go: because they had only done +it out of foolish fashion, fancying it was for their children's good, as +if wasps' waists and pigs' toes could be pretty, or wholesome, or of any +use to anybody. + +Then she called up all the careless nursery-maids, and stuck pins into +them all over, and wheeled them about in perambulators with tight straps +across their stomachs and their heads and arms hanging over the side, +till they were quite sick and stupid, and would have had sun-strokes: +but, being under the water, they could only have water-strokes; which, I +assure you, are nearly as bad, as you will find if you try to sit under +a mill-wheel. And mind--when you hear a rumbling at the bottom of the +sea, sailors will tell you that it is a ground-swell: but now you know +better. It is the old lady wheeling the maids about in perambulators. + +And by that time she was so tired, she had to go to luncheon. + +And after luncheon she set to work again, and called up all the cruel +schoolmasters--whole regiments and brigades of them; and when she saw +them, she frowned most terribly, and set to work in earnest, as if the +best part of the day's work was to come. More than half of them were +nasty, dirty, frowzy, grubby, smelly old monks, who, because they dare +not hit a man of their own size, amused themselves with beating little +children instead; as you may see in the picture of old Pope Gregory +(good man and true though he was, when he meddled with things which he +did understand), teaching children to sing their fa-fa-mi-fa with a +cat-o'-nine-tails under his chair: but, because they never had any +children of their own, they took into their heads (as some folks do +still) that they were the only people in the world who knew how to +manage children: and they first brought into England, in the old +Anglo-Saxon times, the fashion of treating free boys, and girls too, +worse than you would treat a dog or a horse: but Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid +has caught them all long ago; and given them many a taste of their own +rods; and much good may it do them. + +And she boxed their ears, and thumped them over the head with rulers, +and pandied their hands with canes, and told them that they told +stories, and were this and that bad sort of people; and the more they +were very indignant, and stood upon their honour, and declared they told +the truth, the more she declared they were not, and that they were only +telling lies; and at last she birched them all round soundly with her +great birch-rod and set them each an imposition of three hundred +thousand lines of Hebrew to learn by heart before she came back next +Friday. And at that they all cried and howled so, that their breaths +came all up through the sea like bubbles out of soda-water; and that is +one reason of the bubbles in the sea. There are others: but that is the +one which principally concerns little boys. And by that time she was so +tired that she was glad to stop; and, indeed, she had done a very good +day's work. + +Tom did not quite dislike the old lady: but he could not help thinking +her a little spiteful--and no wonder if she was, poor old soul; for if +she has to wait to grow handsome till people do as they would be done +by, she will have to wait a very long time. + +Poor old Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid! she has a great deal of hard work before +her, and had better have been born a washerwoman, and stood over a tub +all day: but, you see, people cannot always choose their own profession. + +But Tom longed to ask her one question; and after all, whenever she +looked at him, she did not look cross at all; and now and then there was +a funny smile in her face, and she chuckled to herself in a way which +gave Tom courage, and at last he said: + +"Pray, ma'am, may I ask you a question?" + +"Certainly, my little dear." + +"Why don't you bring all the bad masters here and serve them out too? +The butties that knock about the poor collier-boys; and the nailers that +file off their lads' noses and hammer their fingers; and all the master +sweeps, like my master Grimes? I saw him fall into the water long ago; +so I surely expected he would have been here. I'm sure he was bad enough +to me." + +Then the old lady looked so very stern that Tom was quite frightened, +and sorry that he had been so bold. But she was not angry with him. She +only answered, "I look after them all the week round; and they are in a +very different place from this, because they knew that they were doing +wrong." + +She spoke very quietly; but there was something in her voice which made +Tom tingle from head to foot, as if he had got into a shoal of +sea-nettles. + +"But these people," she went on, "did not know that they were doing +wrong: they were only stupid and impatient; and therefore I only punish +them till they become patient, and learn to use their common sense like +reasonable beings. But as for chimney-sweeps, and collier-boys, and +nailer lads, my sister has set good people to stop all that sort of +thing; and very much obliged to her I am; for if she could only stop the +cruel masters from ill-using poor children, I should grow handsome at +least a thousand years sooner. And now do you be a good boy, and do as +you would be done by, which they did not; and then, when my sister, +MADAME DOASYOUWOULDBEDONEBY, comes on Sunday, perhaps she will take +notice of you, and teach you how to behave. She understands that better +than I do." And so she went. + +Tom was very glad to hear that there was no chance of meeting Grimes +again, though he was a little sorry for him, considering that he used +sometimes to give him the leavings of the beer: but he determined to be +a very good boy all Saturday; and he was; for he never frightened one +crab, nor tickled any live corals, nor put stones into the sea anemones' +mouths, to make them fancy they had got a dinner; and when Sunday +morning came, sure enough, MRS. DOASYOUWOULDBEDONEBY came too. Whereat +all the little children began dancing and clapping their hands, and Tom +danced too with all his might. + +And as for the pretty lady, I cannot tell you what the colour of her +hair was, or of her eyes: no more could Tom; for, when any one looks at +her, all they can think of is, that she has the sweetest, kindest, +tenderest, funniest, merriest face they ever saw, or want to see. But +Tom saw that she was a very tall woman, as tall as her sister: but +instead of being gnarly and horny, and scaly, and prickly, like her, she +was the most nice, soft, fat, smooth, pussy, cuddly, delicious creature +who ever nursed a baby; and she understood babies thoroughly, for she +had plenty of her own, whole rows and regiments of them, and has to this +day. And all her delight was, whenever she had a spare moment, to play +with babies, in which she showed herself a woman of sense; for babies +are the best company, and the pleasantest playfellows, in the world; at +least, so all the wise people in the world think. And therefore when the +children saw her, they naturally all caught hold of her, and pulled her +till she sat down on a stone, and climbed into her lap, and clung round +her neck, and caught hold of her hands; and then they all put their +thumbs into their mouths, and began cuddling and purring like so many +kittens, as they ought to have done. While those who could get nowhere +else sat down on the sand, and cuddled her feet--for no one, you know, +wear shoes in the water, except horrid old bathing-women, who are afraid +of the water-babies pinching their horny toes. And Tom stood staring at +them; for he could not understand what it was all about. + +"And who are you, you little darling?" she said. + +"Oh, that is the new baby!" they all cried, pulling their thumbs out of +their mouths; "and he never had any mother," and they all put their +thumbs back again, for they did not wish to lose any time. + +"Then I will be his mother, and he shall have the very best place; so +get out, all of you, this moment." + +And she took up two great armfuls of babies--nine hundred under one arm, +and thirteen hundred under the other--and threw them away, right and +left, into the water. But they minded it no more than the naughty boys +in Struwwelpeter minded when St. Nicholas dipped them in his inkstand; +and did nor even take their thumbs out of their mouths, but came +paddling and wriggling back to her like so many tadpoles, till you could +see nothing of her from head to foot for the swarm of little babies. + +But she took Tom in her arms, and laid him in the softest place of all, +and kissed him, and patted him, and talked to him, tenderly and low, +such things as he had never heard before in his life; and Tom looked up +into her eyes, and loved her, and loved, till he fell fast asleep from +pure love. + +And when he woke she was telling the children a story. And what story +did she tell them? One story she told them, which begins every Christmas +Eve, and yet never ends at all for ever and ever; and, as she went on, +the children took their thumbs out of their mouths and listened quite +seriously; but not sadly at all; for she never told them anything sad; +and Tom listened too, and never grew tired of listening. And he listened +so long that he fell fast asleep again, and, when he woke, the lady was +nursing him still. + +"Don't go away," said little Tom. "This is so nice. I never had any one +to cuddle me before." + +"Don't go away," said all the children; "you have not sung us one song." + +"Well, I have time for only one. So what shall it be?" + +"The doll you lost! The doll you lost!" cried all the babies at once. + +So the strange fairy sang:-- + + _I once had a sweet little doll, dears, + The prettiest doll in the world; + Her cheeks were so red and so white, dears, + And her hair was so charmingly curled. + But I lost my poor little doll, dears, + As I played in the heath one day; + And I cried for her more than a week, dears, + But I never could find where she lay._ + + _I found my poor little doll, dears, + As I played in the heath one day: + Folks say she is terribly changed, dears, + For her paint is all washed away, + And her arm trodden off by the cows, dears, + And her hair not the least bit curled: + Yet, for old sakes' sake she is still, dears, + The prettiest doll in the world._ + +What a silly song for a fairy to sing! + +And what silly water-babies to be quite delighted at it! + +Well, but you see they have not the advantage of Aunt Agitate's +Arguments in the sea-land down below. + +"Now," said the fairy to Tom, "will you be a good boy for my sake, and +torment no more sea-beasts till I come back?" + +"And you will cuddle me again?" said poor little Tom. + +"Of course I will, you little duck. I should like to take you with me +and cuddle you all the way, only I must not"; and away she went. + +So Tom really tried to be a good boy, and tormented no sea-beasts after +that as long as he lived; and he is quite alive, I assure you, still. + +Oh, how good little boys ought to be who have kind pussy mammas to +cuddle them and tell them stories; and how afraid they ought to be of +growing naughty, and bringing tears into their mammas' pretty eyes! + + "Thou little child, yet glorious in the night + Of heaven-born freedom on thy Being's height, + Why with such earnest pains dost thou provoke + The Years to bring the inevitable yoke-- + Thus blindly with thy blessedness at strife? + Full soon thy soul shall have her earthly freight, + And custom lie upon thee with a weight + Heavy as frost, and deep almost as life." + + WORDSWORTH. + + + + + +CHAPTER VI + + +HERE I come to the very saddest part of all my story. I know some people +will only laugh at it, and call it much ado about nothing. But I know +one man who would not; and he was an officer with a pair of grey +moustaches as long as your arm, who said once in company that two of the +most heart-rending sights in the world, which moved him most to tears, +which he would do anything to prevent or remedy, were a child over a +broken toy and a child stealing sweets. + +The company did not laugh at him; his moustaches were too long and too +grey for that: but, after he was gone, they called him sentimental and +so forth, all but one dear little old Quaker lady with a soul as white +as her cap, who was not, of course, generally partial to soldiers; and +she said very quietly, like a Quaker: + +"Friends, it is borne upon my mind that that is a truly brave man." + +[Illustration: "He crept away among the rocks, and got to the cabinet, +and behold! it was open."--_P. 172_.] + +Now you may fancy that Tom was quite good, when he had everything that +he could want or wish: but you would be very much mistaken. Being quite +comfortable is a very good thing; but it does not make people good. +Indeed, it sometimes makes them naughty, as it has made the people in +America; and as it made the people in the Bible, who waxed fat and +kicked, like horses overfed and underworked. And I am very sorry to say +that this happened to little Tom. For he grew so fond of the +sea-bullseyes and sea-lollipops that his foolish little head could think +of nothing else: and he was always longing for more, and wondering when +the strange lady would come again and give him some, and what she would +give him, and how much, and whether she would give him more than the +others. And he thought of nothing but lollipops by day, and dreamt of +nothing else by night--and what happened then? + +That he began to watch the lady to see where she kept the sweet things: +and began hiding, and sneaking, and following her about, and pretending +to be looking the other way, or going after something else, till he +found out that she kept them in a beautiful mother-of-pearl cabinet away +in a deep crack of the rocks. + +And he longed to go to the cabinet, and yet he was afraid; and then he +longed again, and was less afraid; and at last, by continual thinking +about it, he longed so violently that he was not afraid at all. And one +night, when all the other children were asleep, and he could not sleep +for thinking of lollipops, he crept away among the rocks, and got to the +cabinet, and behold! it was open. + +But, when he saw all the nice things inside, instead of being delighted, +he was quite frightened, and wished he had never come there. And then +he would only touch them, and he did; and then he would only taste one, +and he did; and then he would only eat one, and he did; and then he +would only eat two, and then three, and so on; and then he was terrified +lest she should come and catch him, and began gobbling them down so fast +that he did not taste them, or have any pleasure in them; and then he +felt sick, and would have only one more; and then only one more again; +and so on till he had eaten them all up. + +And all the while, close behind him, stood Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid. + +Some people may say, But why did she not keep her cupboard locked? Well, +I know.--It may seem a very strange thing, but she never does keep her +cupboard locked; every one may go and taste for themselves, and fare +accordingly. It is very odd, but so it is; and I am quite sure that she +knows best. Perhaps she wishes people to keep their fingers out of the +fire, by having them burned. + +She took off her spectacles, because she did not like to see too much; +and in her pity she arched up her eyebrows into her very hair, and her +eyes grew so wide that they would have taken in all the sorrows of the +world, and filled with great big tears, as they too often do. + +But all she said was: + +"Ah, you poor little dear! you are just like all the rest." + +But she said it to herself, and Tom neither heard nor saw her. Now, you +must not fancy that she was sentimental at all. If you do, and think +that she is going to let off you, or me, or any human being when we do +wrong, because she is too tender-hearted to punish us, then you will +find yourself very much mistaken, as many a man does every year and +every day. + +But what did the strange fairy do when she saw all her lollipops eaten? + +Did she fly at Tom, catch him by the scruff of the neck, hold him, howk +him, hump him, hurry him, hit him, poke him, pull him, pinch him, pound +him, put him in the corner, shake him, slap him, set him on a cold stone +to reconsider himself, and so forth? + +Not a bit. You may watch her at work if you know where to find her. But +you will never see her do that. For, if she had, she knew quite well Tom +would have fought, and kicked, and bit, and said bad words, and turned +again that moment into a naughty little heathen chimney-sweep, with his +hand, like Ishmael's of old, against every man, and every man's hand +against him. + +Did she question him, hurry him, frighten him, threaten him, to make him +confess? Not a bit. You may see her, as I said, at her work often enough +if you know where to look for her: but you will never see her do that. +For, if she had, she would have tempted him to tell lies in his fright; +and that would have been worse for him, if possible, than even becoming +a heathen chimney-sweep again. + +No. She leaves that for anxious parents and teachers (lazy ones, some +call them), who, instead of giving children a fair trial, such as they +would expect and demand for themselves, force them by fright to confess +their own faults--which is so cruel and unfair that no judge on the +bench dare do it to the wickedest thief or murderer, for the good +British law forbids it--ay, and even punish them to make them confess, +which is so detestable a crime that it is never committed now, save by +Inquisitors, and Kings of Naples, and a few other wretched people of +whom the world is weary. And then they say, "We have trained up the +child in the way he should go, and when he grew up he has departed from +it. Why then did Solomon say that he would not depart from it?" But +perhaps the way of beating, and hurrying, and frightening, and +questioning, was not the way that the child should go; for it is not +even the way in which a colt should go if you want to break it in and +make it a quiet serviceable horse. + +Some folks may say, "Ah! but the Fairy does not need to do that if she +knows everything already." True. But, if she did not know, she would not +surely behave worse than a British judge and jury; and no more should +parents and teachers either. + +So she just said nothing at all about the matter, not even when Tom came +next day with the rest for sweet things. He was horribly afraid of +coming: but he was still more afraid of staying away, lest any one +should suspect him. He was dreadfully afraid, too, lest there should be +no sweets--as was to be expected, he having eaten them all--and lest +then the fairy should inquire who had taken them. But, behold! she +pulled out just as many as ever, which astonished Tom, and frightened +him still more. + +And, when the fairy looked him full in the face, he shook from head to +foot: however she gave him his share like the rest, and he thought +within himself that she could not have found him out. + +But, when he put the sweets into his mouth, he hated the taste of them; +and they made him so sick that he had to get away as fast as he could; +and terribly sick he was, and very cross and unhappy, all the week +after. + +Then, when next week came, he had his share again; and again the fairy +looked him full in the face; but more sadly than she had ever looked. +And he could not bear the sweets: but took them again in spite of +himself. + +And when Mrs. Doasyouwouldbedoneby came, he wanted to be cuddled like +the rest; but she said very seriously: + +"I should like to cuddle you; but I cannot, you are so horny and +prickly." + +And Tom looked at himself: and he was all over prickles, just like a +sea-egg. + +Which was quite natural; for you must know and believe that people's +souls make their bodies just as a snail makes its shell (I am not +joking, my little man; I am in serious, solemn earnest). And therefore, +when Tom's soul grew all prickly with naughty tempers, his body could +not help growing prickly too, so that nobody would cuddle him, or play +with him, or even like to look at him. + +What could Tom do now but go away and hide in a corner and cry? For +nobody would play with him, and he knew full well why. + +And he was so miserable all that week that when the ugly fairy came and +looked at him once more full in the face, more seriously and sadly than +ever, he could stand it no longer, and thrust the sweetmeats away, +saying, "No, I don't want any: I can't bear them now," and then burst +out crying, poor little man, and told Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid every word +as it happened. + +He was horribly frightened when he had done so; for he expected her to +punish him very severely. But, instead, she only took him up and kissed +him, which was not quite pleasant, for her chin was very bristly indeed; +but he was so lonely-hearted, he thought that rough kissing was better +than none. + +"I will forgive you, little man," she said. "I always forgive every one +the moment they tell me the truth of their own accord." + +"Then you will take away all these nasty prickles?" + +"That is a very different matter. You put them there yourself, and only +you can take them away." + +"But how can I do that?" asked Tom, crying afresh. + +"Well, I think it is time for you to go to school; so I shall fetch you +a schoolmistress, who will teach you how to get rid of your prickles." +And so she went away. + +Tom was frightened at the notion of a schoolmistress; for he thought she +would certainly come with a birch-rod or a cane; but he comforted +himself, at last, that she might be something like the old woman in +Vendale--which she was not in the least; for, when the fairy brought +her, she was the most beautiful little girl that ever was seen, with +long curls floating behind her like a golden cloud, and long robes +floating all round her like a silver one. + +"There he is," said the fairy; "and you must teach him to be good, +whether you like or not." + +"I know," said the little girl; but she did not seem quite to like, for +she put her finger in her mouth, and looked at Tom under her brows; and +Tom put his finger in his mouth, and looked at her under his brows, for +he was horribly ashamed of himself. + +The little girl seemed hardly to know how to begin; and perhaps she +would never have begun at all if poor Tom had not burst out crying, and +begged her to teach him to be good and help him to cure his prickles; +and at that she grew so tender-hearted that she began teaching him as +prettily as ever child was taught in the world. + +And what did the little girl teach Tom? She taught him, first, what you +have been taught ever since you said your first prayers at your mother's +knees; but she taught him much more simply. For the lessons in that +world, my child, have no such hard words in them as the lessons in +this, and therefore the water-babies like them better than you like your +lessons, and long to learn them more and more; and grown men cannot +puzzle nor quarrel over their meaning, as they do here on land; for +those lessons all rise clear and pure, like the Test out of Overton +Pool, out of the everlasting ground of all life and truth. + +So she taught Tom every day in the week; only on Sundays she always went +away home, and the kind fairy took her place. And before she had taught +Tom many Sundays, his prickles had vanished quite away, and his skin was +smooth and clean again. + +"Dear me!" said the little girl; "why, I know you now. You are the very +same little chimney-sweep who came into my bedroom." + +"Dear me!" cried Tom. "And I know you, too, now. You are the very little +white lady whom I saw in bed." And he jumped at her, and longed to hug +and kiss her; but did not, remembering that she was a lady born; so he +only jumped round and round her till he was quite tired. + +And then they began telling each other all their story--how he had got +into the water, and she had fallen over the rock; and how he had swum +down to the sea, and how she had flown out of the window; and how this, +that, and the other, till it was all talked out: and then they both +began over again, and I can't say which of the two talked fastest. + +And then they set to work at their lessons again, and both liked them +so well that they went on well till seven full years were past and gone. + +You may fancy that Tom was quite content and happy all those seven +years; but the truth is, he was not. He had always one thing on his +mind, and that was--where little Ellie went, when she went home on +Sundays. + +To a very beautiful place, she said. + +But what was the beautiful place like, and where was it? + +Ah! that is just what she could not say. And it is strange, but true, +that no one can say; and that those who have been oftenest in it, or +even nearest to it, can say least about it, and make people understand +least what it is like. There are a good many folks about the +Other-end-of-Nowhere (where Tom went afterwards), who pretend to know it +from north to south as well as if they had been penny postmen there; +but, as they are safe at the Other-end-of-Nowhere, nine hundred and +ninety-nine million miles away, what they say cannot concern us. + +But the dear, sweet, loving, wise, good, self-sacrificing people, who +really go there, can never tell you anything about it, save that it is +the most beautiful place in all the world; and, if you ask them more, +they grow modest, and hold their peace, for fear of being laughed at; +and quite right they are. + +So all that good little Ellie could say was, that it was worth all the +rest of the world put together. And of course that only made Tom the +more anxious to go likewise. + +"Miss Ellie," he said at last, "I will know why I cannot go with you +when you go home on Sundays, or I shall have no peace, and give you none +either." + +"You must ask the fairies that." + +So when the fairy, Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid, came next, Tom asked her. + +"Little boys who are only fit to play with sea-beasts cannot go there," +she said. "Those who go there must go first where they do not like, and +do what they do not like, and help somebody they do not like." + +"Why, did Ellie do that?" + +"Ask her." + +And Ellie blushed, and said, "Yes, Tom; I did not like coming here at +first; I was so much happier at home, where it is always Sunday. And I +was afraid of you, Tom, at first,--because--because----" + +"Because I was all over prickles? But I am not prickly now, am I, Miss +Ellie?" + +"No," said Ellie. "I like you very much now; and I like coming here, +too." + +"And perhaps," said the fairy, "you will learn to like going where you +don't like, and helping some one that you don't like, as Ellie has." + +But Tom put his finger in his mouth, and hung his head down; for he did +not see that at all. + +So when Mrs. Doasyouwouldbedoneby came, Tom asked her; for he thought in +his little head, She is not so strict as her sister, and perhaps she +may let me off more easily. + +Ah, Tom, Tom, silly fellow! and yet I don't know why I should blame you, +while so many grown people have got the very same notion in their heads. + +But, when they try it, they get just the same answer as Tom did. For, +when he asked the second fairy, she told him just what the first did, +and in the very same words. + +Tom was very unhappy at that. And, when Ellie went home on Sunday, he +fretted and cried all day, and did not care to listen to the fairy's +stories about good children, though they were prettier than ever. +Indeed, the more he overheard of them, the less he liked to listen, +because they were all about children who did what they did not like, and +took trouble for other people, and worked to feed their little brothers +and sisters instead of caring only for their play. And, when she began +to tell a story about a holy child in old times, who was martyred by the +heathen because it would not worship idols, Tom could bear no more, and +ran away and hid among the rocks. + +And, when Ellie came back, he was shy with her, because he fancied she +looked down on him, and thought him a coward. And then he grew quite +cross with her, because she was superior to him, and did what he could +not do. And poor Ellie was quite surprised and sad; and at last Tom +burst out crying; but he would not tell her what was really in his +mind. + +And all the while he was eaten up with curiosity to know where Ellie +went to; so that he began not to care for his playmates, or for the +sea-palace or anything else. But perhaps that made matters all the +easier for him; for he grew so discontented with everything round him +that he did not care to stay, and did not care where he went. + +"Well," he said, at last, "I am so miserable here, I'll go; if only you +will go with me?" + +"Ah!" said Ellie, "I wish I might; but the worst of it is, that the +fairy says that you must go alone if you go at all. Now don't poke that +poor crab about, Tom" (for he was feeling very naughty and mischievous), +"or the fairy will have to punish you." + +Tom was very nearly saying, "I don't care if she does"; but he stopped +himself in time. + +"I know what she wants me to do," he said, whining most dolefully. "She +wants me to go after that horrid old Grimes. I don't like him, that's +certain. And if I find him, he will turn me into a chimney-sweep again, +I know. That's what I have been afraid of all along." + +"No, he won't--I know as much as that. Nobody can turn water-babies into +sweeps, or hurt them at all, as long as they are good." + +"Ah," said naughty Tom, "I see what you want; you are persuading me all +along to go, because you are tired of me, and want to get rid of me." + +Little Ellie opened her eyes very wide at that, and they were all +brimming over with tears. + +"Oh, Tom, Tom!" she said, very mournfully--and then she cried, "Oh, Tom! +where are you?" + +And Tom cried, "Oh, Ellie, where are you?" + +For neither of them could see each other--not the least. Little Ellie +vanished quite away, and Tom heard her voice calling him, and growing +smaller and smaller, and fainter and fainter, till all was silent. + +Who was frightened then but Tom? He swam up and down among the rocks, +into all the halls and chambers, faster than ever he swam before, but +could not find her. He shouted after her, but she did not answer; he +asked all the other children, but they had not seen her; and at last he +went up to the top of the water and began crying and screaming for Mrs. +Bedonebyasyoudid--which perhaps was the best thing to do--for she came +in a moment. + +"Oh!" said Tom. "Oh dear, oh dear! I have been naughty to Ellie, and I +have killed her--I know I have killed her." + +"Not quite that," said the fairy; "but I have sent her away home, and +she will not come back again for I do not know how long." + +And at that Tom cried so bitterly that the salt sea was swelled with his +tears, and the tide was .3,954,620,819 of an inch higher than it had +been the day before: but perhaps that was owing to the waxing of the +moon. It may have been so; but it is considered right in the new +philosophy, you know, to give spiritual causes for physical +phenomena--especially in parlour-tables; and, of course, physical +causes for spiritual ones, like thinking, and praying, and knowing right +from wrong. And so they odds it till it comes even, as folks say down in +Berkshire. + +"How cruel of you to send Ellie away!" sobbed Tom. "However, I will find +her again, if I go to the world's end to look for her." + +The fairy did not slap Tom, and tell him to hold his tongue: but she +took him on her lap very kindly, just as her sister would have done; and +put him in mind how it was not her fault, because she was wound up +inside, like watches, and could not help doing things whether she liked +or not. And then she told him how he had been in the nursery long +enough, and must go out now and see the world, if he intended ever to be +a man; and how he must go all alone by himself, as every one else that +ever was born has to go, and see with his own eyes, and smell with his +own nose, and make his own bed and lie on it, and burn his own fingers +if he put them into the fire. And then she told him how many fine things +there were to be seen in the world, and what an odd, curious, pleasant, +orderly, respectable, well-managed, and, on the whole, successful (as, +indeed, might have been expected) sort of a place it was, if people +would only be tolerably brave and honest and good in it; and then she +told him not to be afraid of anything he met, for nothing would harm him +if he remembered all his lessons, and did what he knew was right. And at +last she comforted poor little Tom so much that he was quite eager to +go, and wanted to set out that minute. "Only," he said, "if I might see +Ellie once before I went!" + +"Why do you want that?" + +"Because--because I should be so much happier if I thought she had +forgiven me." + +And in the twinkling of an eye there stood Ellie, smiling, and looking +so happy that Tom longed to kiss her; but was still afraid it would not +be respectful, because she was a lady born. + +"I am going, Ellie!" said Tom. "I am going, if it is to the world's end. +But I don't like going at all, and that's the truth." + +"Pooh! pooh! pooh!" said the fairy. "You will like it very well indeed, +you little rogue, and you know that at the bottom of your heart. But if +you don't, I will make you like it. Come here, and see what happens to +people who do only what is pleasant." + +And she took out of one of her cupboards (she had all sorts of +mysterious cupboards in the cracks of the rocks) the most wonderful +waterproof book, full of such photographs as never were seen. For she +had found out photography (and this is a fact) more than 13,598,000 +years before anybody was born; and, what is more, her photographs did +not merely represent light and shade, as ours do, but colour also, and +all colours, as you may see if you look at a blackcock's tail, or a +butterfly's wing, or indeed most things that are or can be, so to speak. +And therefore her photographs were very curious and famous, and the +children looked with great delight for the opening of the book. + +And on the title-page was written, "The History of the great and famous +nation of the Doasyoulikes, who came away from the country of Hardwork, +because they wanted to play on the Jews' harp all day long." + +In the first picture they saw these Doasyoulikes living in the land of +Readymade, at the foot of the Happy-go-lucky Mountains, where flapdoodle +grows wild; and if you want to know what that is, you must read Peter +Simple. + +They lived very much such a life as those jolly old Greeks in Sicily, +whom you may see painted on the ancient vases, and really there seemed +to be great excuses for them, for they had no need to work. + +Instead of houses they lived in the beautiful caves of tufa, and bathed +in the warm springs three times a day; and, as for clothes, it was so +warm there that the gentlemen walked about in little beside a cocked hat +and a pair of straps, or some light summer tackle of that kind; and the +ladies all gathered gossamer in autumn (when they were not too lazy) to +make their winter dresses. + +They were very fond of music, but it was too much trouble to learn the +piano or the violin; and as for dancing, that would have been too great +an exertion. So they sat on ant-hills all day long, and played on the +Jews' harp; and, if the ants bit them, why they just got up and went to +the next ant-hill, till they were bitten there likewise. + +And they sat under the flapdoodle-trees, and let the flapdoodle drop +into their mouths; and under the vines, and squeezed the grape-juice +down their throats; and, if any little pigs ran about ready roasted, +crying, "Come and eat me," as was their fashion in that country, they +waited till the pigs ran against their mouths, and then took a bite, and +were content, just as so many oysters would have been. + +They needed no weapons, for no enemies ever came near their land; and no +tools, for everything was readymade to their hand; and the stern old +fairy Necessity never came near them to hunt them up, and make them use +their wits, or die. + +And so on, and so on, and so on, till there were never such comfortable, +easy-going, happy-go-lucky people in the world. + +"Well, that is a jolly life," said Tom. + +"You think so?" said the fairy. "Do you see that great peaked mountain +there behind," said the fairy, "with smoke coming out of its top?" + +"Yes." + +"And do you see all those ashes, and slag, and cinders lying about?" + +"Yes." + +"Then turn over the next five hundred years, and you will see what +happens next." + +And behold the mountain had blown up like a barrel of gunpowder, and +then boiled over like a kettle; whereby one-third of the Doasyoulikes +were blown into the air, and another third were smothered in ashes; so +that there was only one-third left. + +"You see," said the fairy, "what comes of living on a burning mountain." + +"Oh, why did you not warn them?" said little Ellie. + +"I did warn them all that I could. I let the smoke come out of the +mountain; and wherever there is smoke there is fire. And I laid the +ashes and cinders all about; and wherever there are cinders, cinders may +be again. But they did not like to face facts, my dears, as very few +people do; and so they invented a cock-and-bull story, which, I am sure, +I never told them, that the smoke was the breath of a giant, whom some +gods or other had buried under the mountain; and that the cinders were +what the dwarfs roasted the little pigs whole with; and other nonsense +of that kind. And, when folks are in that humour, I cannot teach them, +save by the good old birch-rod." + +And then she turned over the next five hundred years: and there were the +remnant of the Doasyoulikes, doing as they liked, as before. They were +too lazy to move away from the mountain; so they said, If it has blown +up once, that is all the more reason that it should not blow up again. +And they were few in number: but they only said, The more the merrier, +but the fewer the better fare. However, that was not quite true; for all +the flapdoodle-trees were killed by the volcano, and they had eaten all +the roast pigs, who, of course, could not be expected to have little +ones. So they had to live very hard, on nuts and roots which they +scratched out of the ground with sticks. Some of them talked of sowing +corn, as their ancestors used to do, before they came into the land of +Readymade; but they had forgotten how to make ploughs (they had +forgotten even how to make Jews' harps by this time), and had eaten all +the seed-corn which they brought out of the land of Hardwork years +since; and of course it was too much trouble to go away and find more. +So they lived miserably on roots and nuts, and all the weakly little +children had great stomachs, and then died. + +"Why," said Tom, "they are growing no better than savages." + +"And look how ugly they are all getting," said Ellie. + +"Yes; when people live on poor vegetables instead of roast beef and +plum-pudding, their jaws grow large, and their lips grow coarse, like +the poor Paddies who eat potatoes." + +And she turned over the next five hundred years. And there they were all +living up in trees, and making nests to keep off the rain. And +underneath the trees lions were prowling about. + +"Why," said Ellie, "the lions seem to have eaten a good many of them, +for there are very few left now." + +"Yes," said the fairy; "you see it was only the strongest and most +active ones who could climb the trees, and so escape." + +"But what great, hulking, broad-shouldered chaps they are," said Tom; +"they are a rough lot as ever I saw." + +"Yes, they are getting very strong now; for the ladies will not marry +any but the very strongest and fiercest gentlemen, who can help them up +the trees out of the lions' way." + +And she turned over the next five hundred years. And in that they were +fewer still, and stronger, and fiercer; but their feet had changed shape +very oddly, for they laid hold of the branches with their great toes, as +if they had been thumbs, just as a Hindoo tailor uses his toes to thread +his needle. + +The children were very much surprised, and asked the fairy whether that +was her doing. + +"Yes, and no," she said, smiling. "It was only those who could use their +feet as well as their hands who could get a good living: or, indeed, get +married; so that they got the best of everything, and starved out all +the rest; and those who are left keep up a regular breed of +toe-thumb-men, as a breed of short-horns, or skye-terriers, or fancy +pigeons is kept up." + +"But there is a hairy one among them," said Ellie. + +"Ah!" said the fairy, "that will be a great man in his time, and chief +of all the tribe." + +And, when she turned over the next five hundred years, it was true. + +For this hairy chief had had hairy children, and they hairier children +still; and every one wished to marry hairy husbands, and have hairy +children too; for the climate was growing so damp that none but the +hairy ones could live: all the rest coughed and sneezed, and had sore +throats, and went into consumptions, before they could grow up to be men +and women. + +Then the fairy turned over the next five hundred years. And they were +fewer still. + +"Why, there is one on the ground picking up roots," said Ellie, "and he +cannot walk upright." + +No more he could; for in the same way that the shape of their feet had +altered, the shape of their backs had altered also. + +"Why," cried Tom, "I declare they are all apes." + +"Something fearfully like it, poor foolish creatures," said the fairy. +"They are grown so stupid now, that they can hardly think: for none of +them have used their wits for many hundred years. They have almost +forgotten, too, how to talk. For each stupid child forgot some of the +words it heard from its stupid parents, and had not wits enough to make +fresh words for itself. Beside, they are grown so fierce and suspicious +and brutal that they keep out of each other's way, and mope and sulk in +the dark forests, never hearing each other's voice, till they have +forgotten almost what speech is like. I am afraid they will all be apes +very soon, and all by doing only what they liked." + +And in the next five hundred years they were all dead and gone, by bad +food and wild beasts and hunters; all except one tremendous old fellow +with jaws like a jack, who stood full seven feet high; and M. Du Chaillu +came up to him, and shot him, as he stood roaring and thumping his +breast. And he remembered that his ancestors had once been men, and +tried to say, "Am I not a man and a brother?" but had forgotten how to +use his tongue; and then he had tried to call for a doctor, but he had +forgotten the word for one. So all he said was "Ubboboo!" and died. + +And that was the end of the great and jolly nation of the Doasyoulikes. +And, when Tom and Ellie came to the end of the book, they looked very +sad and solemn; and they had good reason so to do, for they really +fancied that the men were apes, and never thought, in their simplicity, +of asking whether the creatures had hippopotamus majors in their brains +or not; in which case, as you have been told already, they could not +possibly have been apes, though they were more apish than the apes of +all aperies. + +"But could you not have saved them from becoming apes?" said little +Ellie, at last. + +"At first, my dear; if only they would have behaved like men, and set to +work to do what they did not like. But the longer they waited, and +behaved like the dumb beasts, who only do what they like, the stupider +and clumsier they grew; till at last they were past all cure, for they +had thrown their own wits away. It is such things as this that help to +make me so ugly, that I know not when I shall grow fair." + +"And where are they all now?" asked Ellie. + +"Exactly where they ought to be, my dear." + +"Yes!" said the fairy, solemnly, half to herself, as she closed the +wonderful book. "Folks say now that I can make beasts into men; by +circumstance, and selection, and competition, and so forth. Well, +perhaps they are right; and perhaps, again, they are wrong. That is one +of the seven things which I am forbidden to tell, till the coming of the +Cocqcigrues; and, at all events, it is no concern of theirs. Whatever +their ancestors were, men they are; and I advise them to behave as such, +and act accordingly. But let them recollect this, that there are two +sides to every question, and a downhill as well as an uphill road; and, +if I can turn beasts into men, I can, by the same laws of circumstance, +and selection, and competition, turn men into beasts. You were very near +being turned into a beast once or twice, little Tom. Indeed, if you had +not made up your mind to go on this journey, and see the world, like an +Englishman, I am not sure but that you would have ended as an eft in a +pond." + +"Oh, dear me!" said Tom; "sooner than that, and be all over slime, I'll +go this minute, if it is to the world's end." + + "And Nature, the old Nurse, took + The child upon her knee, + Saying, 'Here is a story book + Thy father hath written for thee. + + "'Come wander with me,' she said, + 'Into regions yet untrod, + And read what is still unread + In the Manuscripts of God.' + + "And he wandered away and away + With Nature, the dear old Nurse, + Who sang to him night and day + The rhymes of the universe." + + LONGFELLOW. + + + + + +CHAPTER VII + + +"NOW," said Tom, "I am ready to be off, if it's to the world's end." + +"Ah!" said the fairy, "that is a brave, good boy. But you must go +farther than the world's end, if you want to find Mr. Grimes; for he is +at the Other-end-of-Nowhere. You must go to Shiny Wall, and through the +white gate that never was opened; and then you will come to Peacepool, +and Mother Carey's Haven, where the good whales go when they die. And +there Mother Carey will tell you the way to the Other-end-of-Nowhere, +and there you will find Mr. Grimes." + +"Oh, dear!" said Tom. "But I do not know my way to Shiny Wall, or where +it is at all." + +"Little boys must take the trouble to find out things for themselves, or +they will never grow to be men; so that you must ask all the beasts in +the sea and the birds in the air, and if you have been good to them, +some of them will tell you the way to Shiny Wall." + +"Well," said Tom, "it will be a long journey, so I had better start at +once. Good-bye, Miss Ellie; you know I am getting a big boy, and I must +go out and see the world." + +"I know you must," said Ellie; "but you will not forget me, Tom. I shall +wait here till you come." + +And she shook hands with him, and bade him good-bye. Tom longed very +much again to kiss her; but he thought it would not be respectful, +considering she was a lady born; so he promised not to forget her: but +his little whirl-about of a head was so full of the notion of going out +to see the world, that it forgot her in five minutes: however, though +his head forgot her, I am glad to say his heart did not. + +So he asked all the beasts in the sea, and all the birds in the air, but +none of them knew the way to Shiny Wall. For why? He was still too far +down south. + +Then he met a ship, far larger than he had ever seen--a gallant +ocean-steamer, with a long cloud of smoke trailing behind; and he +wondered how she went on without sails, and swam up to her to see. A +school of dolphins were running races round and round her, going three +feet for her one, and Tom asked them the way to Shiny Wall: but they did +not know. Then he tried to find out how she moved, and at last he saw +her screw, and was so delighted with it that he played under her quarter +all day, till he nearly had his nose knocked off by the fans, and +thought it time to move. Then he watched the sailors upon deck, and the +ladies, with their bonnets and parasols: but none of them could see him, +because their eyes were not opened,--as, indeed, most people's eyes are +not. + +At last there came out into the quarter-gallery a very pretty lady, in +deep black widow's weeds, and in her arms a baby. She leaned over the +quarter-gallery, and looked back and back toward England far away; and +as she looked she sang: + + +I. + + "_Soft soft wind, from out the sweet south sliding, + Waft thy silver cloud-webs athwart the summer sea; + Thin thin threads of mist on dewy fingers twining + Weave a veil of dappled gauze to shade my babe and me._ + + +II. + + "_Deep deep Love, within thine own abyss abiding, + Pour Thyself abroad, O Lord, on earth and air and sea; + Worn weary hearts within Thy holy temple hiding, + Shield from sorrow, sin, and shame my helpless babe and me._" + +Her voice was so soft and low, and the music of the air so sweet, that +Tom could have listened to it all day. But as she held the baby over the +gallery rail, to show it the dolphins leaping and the water gurgling in +the ship's wake, lo! and behold, the baby saw Tom. + +He was quite sure of that; for when their eyes met, the baby smiled and +held out his hands; and Tom smiled and held out his hands too; and the +baby kicked and leaped, as if it wanted to jump overboard to him. + +"What do you see, my darling?" said the lady; and her eyes followed the +baby's till she too caught sight of Tom, swimming about among the +foam-beads below. + +She gave a little shriek and start; and then she said, quite quietly, +"Babies in the sea? Well, perhaps it is the happiest place for them"; +and waved her hand to Tom, and cried, "Wait a little, darling, only a +little: and perhaps we shall go with you and be at rest." + +And at that an old nurse, all in black, came out and talked to her, and +drew her in. And Tom turned away northward, sad and wondering; and +watched the great steamer slide away into the dusk, and the lights on +board peep out one by one, and die out again, and the long bar of smoke +fade away into the evening mist, till all was out of sight. + +And he swam northward again, day after day, till at last he met the King +of the Herrings, with a curry-comb growing out of his nose, and a sprat +in his mouth for a cigar, and asked him the way to Shiny Wall; so he +bolted his sprat head foremost, and said: + +"If I were you, young gentleman, I should go to the Allalonestone, and +ask the last of the Gairfowl. She is of a very ancient clan, very nearly +as ancient as my own; and knows a good deal which these modern upstarts +don't, as ladies of old houses are likely to do." + +[Illustration: "There he saw the last of the Gairfowl, standing up on +the Allalonestone, all alone."--_P. 201._] + +Tom asked his way to her, and the King of the Herrings told him very +kindly, for he was a courteous old gentleman of the old school, +though he was horribly ugly, and strangely bedizened too, like the old +dandies who lounge in the club-house windows. + +But just as Tom had thanked him and set off, he called after him: "Hi! I +say, can you fly?" + +"I never tried," says Tom. "Why?" + +"Because, if you can, I should advise you to say nothing to the old lady +about it. There; take a hint. Good-bye." + +And away Tom went for seven days and seven nights due north-west, till +he came to a great codbank, the like of which he never saw before. The +great cod lay below in tens of thousands, and gobbled shell-fish all day +long; and the blue sharks roved about in hundreds, and gobbled them when +they came up. So they ate, and ate, and ate each other, as they had done +since the making of the world; for no man had come here yet to catch +them, and find out how rich old Mother Carey is. + +And there he saw the last of the Gairfowl, standing up on the +Allalonestone, all alone. And a very grand old lady she was, full three +feet high, and bolt upright, like some old Highland chieftainess. She +had on a black velvet gown, and a white pinner and apron, and a very +high bridge to her nose (which is a sure mark of high breeding), and a +large pair of white spectacles on it, which made her look rather odd: +but it was the ancient fashion of her house. + +And instead of wings, she had two little feathery arms, with which she +fanned herself, and complained of the dreadful heat; and she kept on +crooning an old song to herself, which she learnt when she was a little +baby-bird, long ago-- + + "_Two little birds they sat on a stone, + One swam away, and then there was one, + With a fal-lal-la-lady._ + + "_The other swam after, and then there was none, + And so the poor stone was left all alone; + With a fal-lal-la-lady._" + +It was "flew" away, properly, and not "swam" away: but, as she could not +fly, she had a right to alter it. However, it was a very fit song for +her to sing, because she was a lady herself. + +Tom came up to her very humbly, and made his bow; and the first thing +she said was-- + +"Have you wings? Can you fly?" + +"Oh dear, no, ma'am; I should not think of such thing," said cunning +little Tom. + +"Then I shall have great pleasure in talking to you, my dear. It is +quite refreshing nowadays to see anything without wings. They must all +have wings, forsooth, now, every new upstart sort of bird, and fly. What +can they want with flying, and raising themselves above their proper +station in life? In the days of my ancestors no birds ever thought of +having wings, and did very well without; and now they all laugh at me +because I keep to the good old fashion. Why, the very marrocks and +dovekies have got wings, the vulgar creatures, and poor little ones +enough they are; and my own cousins too, the razor-bills, who are +gentlefolk born, and ought to know better than to ape their inferiors." + +And so she was running on, while Tom tried to get in a word edgeways; +and at last he did, when the old lady got out of breath, and began +fanning herself again; and then he asked if she knew the way to Shiny +Wall. + +"Shiny Wall? Who should know better than I? We all came from Shiny Wall, +thousands of years ago, when it was decently cold, and the climate was +fit for gentlefolk; but now, what with the heat, and what with these +vulgar-winged things who fly up and down and eat everything, so that +gentlepeople's hunting is all spoilt, and one really cannot get one's +living, or hardly venture off the rock for fear of being flown against +by some creature that would not have dared to come within a mile of one +a thousand years ago--what was I saying? Why, we have quite gone down in +the world, my dear, and have nothing left but our honour. And I am the +last of my family. A friend of mine and I came and settled on this rock +when we were young, to be out of the way of low people. Once we were a +great nation, and spread over all the Northern Isles. But men shot us +so, and knocked us on the head, and took our eggs--why, if you will +believe it, they say that on the coast of Labrador the sailors used to +lay a plank from the rock on board the thing called their ship, and +drive us along the plank by hundreds, till we tumbled down into the +ship's waist in heaps; and then, I suppose, they ate us, the nasty +fellows! Well--but--what was I saying? At last, there were none of us +left, except on the old Gairfowlskerry, just off the Iceland coast, up +which no man could climb. Even there we had no peace; for one day, when +I was quite a young girl, the land rocked, and the sea boiled, and the +sky grew dark, and all the air was filled with smoke and dust, and down +tumbled the old Gairfowlskerry into the sea. The dovekies and marrocks, +of course, all flew away; but we were too proud to do that. Some of us +were dashed to pieces, and some drowned; and those who were left got +away to Eldey, and the dovekies tell me they are all dead now, and that +another Gairfowlskerry has risen out of the sea close to the old one, +but that it is such a poor flat place that it is not safe to live on: +and so here I am left alone." + +This was the Gairfowl's story, and, strange as it may seem, it is every +word of it true. + +"If you only had had wings!" said Tom; "then you might all have flown +away too." + +"Yes, young gentleman: and if people are not gentlemen and ladies, and +forget that _noblesse oblige_, they will find it as easy to get on in +the world as other people who don't care what they do. Why, if I had not +recollected that _noblesse oblige_, I should not have been all alone +now." And the poor old lady sighed. + +"How was that, ma'am?" + +"Why, my dear, a gentleman came hither with me, and after we had been +here some time, he wanted to marry--in fact, he actually proposed to me. +Well, I can't blame him; I was young, and very handsome then, I don't +deny: but you see, I could not hear of such a thing, because he was my +deceased sister's husband, you see?" + +"Of course not, ma'am," said Tom; though, of course, he knew nothing +about it. "She was very much diseased, I suppose?" + +"You do not understand me, my dear. I mean, that being a lady, and with +right and honourable feelings, as our house always has had, I felt it my +duty to snub him, and howk him, and peck him continually, to keep him at +his proper distance; and, to tell the truth, I once pecked him a little +too hard, poor fellow, and he tumbled backwards off the rock, +and--really, it was very unfortunate, but it was not my fault--a shark +coming by saw him flapping, and snapped him up. And since then I have +lived all alone-- + + _'With a fal-lal-la-lady.'_ + +And soon I shall be gone, my little dear, and nobody will miss me; and +then the poor stone will be left all alone." + +"But, please, which is the way to Shiny Wall?" said Tom. + +"Oh, you must go, my little dear--you must go. Let me see--I am +sure--that is--really, my poor old brains are getting quite puzzled. Do +you know, my little dear, I am afraid, if you want to know, you must +ask some of these vulgar birds about, for I have quite forgotten." + +And the poor old Gairfowl began to cry tears of pure oil; and Tom was +quite sorry for her; and for himself too, for he was at his wit's end +whom to ask. + +But by there came a flock of petrels, who are Mother Carey's own +chickens; and Tom thought them much prettier than Lady Gairfowl, and so +perhaps they were; for Mother Carey had had a great deal of fresh +experience between the time that she invented the Gairfowl and the time +that she invented them. They flitted along like a flock of black +swallows, and hopped and skipped from wave to wave, lifting up their +little feet behind them so daintily, and whistling to each other so +tenderly, that Tom fell in love with them at once, and called them to +know the way to Shiny Wall. + +"Shiny Wall? Do you want Shiny Wall? Then come with us, and we will show +you. We are Mother Carey's own chickens, and she sends us out over all +the seas, to show the good birds the way home." + +Tom was delighted, and swam off to them, after he had made his bow to +the Gairfowl. But she would not return his bow: but held herself bolt +upright, and wept tears of oil as she sang: + + "_And so the poor stone was left all alone; + With a fal-lal-la-lady._" + +But she was wrong there; for the stone was not left all alone: and the +next time that Tom goes by it, he will see a sight worth seeing. + +The old Gairfowl is gone already: but there are better things come in +her place; and when Tom comes he will see the fishing-smacks anchored +there in hundreds, from Scotland, and from Ireland, and from the +Orkneys, and the Shetlands, and from all the Northern ports, full of the +children of the old Norse Vikings, the masters of the sea. And the men +will be hauling in the great cod by thousands, till their hands are sore +from the lines; and they will be making cod-liver oil and guano, and +salting down the fish; and there will be a man-of-war steamer there to +protect them, and a lighthouse to show them the way; and you and I, +perhaps, shall go some day to the Allalonestone to the great summer +sea-fair, and dredge strange creatures such as man never saw before; and +we shall hear the sailors boast that it is not the worst jewel in Queen +Victoria's crown, for there are eighty miles of codbank, and food for +all the poor folk in the land. That is what Tom will see, and perhaps +you and I shall see it too. And then we shall not be sorry because we +cannot get a Gairfowl to stuff, much less find gairfowl enough to drive +them into stone pens and slaughter them, as the old Norsemen did, or +drive them on board along a plank till the ship was victualled with +them, as the old English and French rovers used to do, of whom dear old +Hakluyt tells: but we shall remember what Mr. Tennyson says: how + + "_The old order changeth, giving place to the new, + And God fulfils himself in many ways._" + +And now Tom was all agog to start for Shiny Wall; but the petrels said +no. They must go first to Allfowlsness, and wait there for the great +gathering of all the sea-birds, before they start for their summer +breeding-places far away in the Northern Isles; and there they would be +sure to find some birds which were going to Shiny Wall: but where +Allfowlsness was, he must promise never to tell, lest men should go +there and shoot the birds, and stuff them, and put them into stupid +museums, instead of leaving them to play and breed and work in Mother +Carey's water-garden, where they ought to be. + +So where Allfowlsness is nobody must know; and all that is to be said +about it is, that Tom waited there many days; and as he waited, he saw a +very curious sight. On the rabbit burrows on the shore there gathered +hundreds and hundreds of hoodie-crows, such as you see in +Cambridgeshire. And they made such a noise, that Tom came on shore and +went up to see what was the matter. + +And there he found them holding their great caucus, which they hold +every year in the North; and all their stump-orators were speechifying; +and for a tribune, the speaker stood on an old sheep's skull. + +And they cawed and cawed, and boasted of all the clever things they had +done; how many lambs' eyes they had picked out, and how many dead +bullocks they had eaten, and how many young grouse they had swallowed +whole, and how many grouse-eggs they had flown away with, stuck on the +point of their bills, which is the hoodie-crow's particularly clever +feat, of which he is as proud as a gipsy is of doing the hokanybaro; and +what that is, I won't tell you. + +And at last they brought out the prettiest, neatest young lady-crow that +ever was seen, and set her in the middle, and all began abusing and +vilifying, and rating, and bullyragging at her, because she had stolen +no grouse-eggs, and had actually dared to say that she would not steal +any. So she was to be tried publicly by their laws (for the hoodies +always try some offenders in their great yearly parliament). And there +she stood in the middle, in her black gown and grey hood, looking as +meek and as neat as a Quakeress, and they all bawled at her at once-- + +And it was in vain that she pleaded-- + + _That she did not like grouse-eggs;_ + + _That she could get her living very well without + them;_ + + _That she was afraid to eat them, for fear of the + gamekeepers;_ + + _That she had not the heart to eat them, because + the grouse were such pretty, kind, jolly birds;_ + + _And a dozen reasons more._ + +For all the other scaul-crows set upon her, and pecked her to death +there and then, before Tom could come to help her; and then flew away, +very proud of what they had done. + +[Illustration: "The most beautiful bird of paradise."--_P. 210._] + +Now, was not this a scandalous transaction? + +But they are true republicans, these hoodies, who do every one just what +he likes, and make other people do so too; so that, for any freedom of +speech, thought, or action, which is allowed among them, they might as +well be American citizens of the new school. + +But the fairies took the good crow, and gave her nine new sets of +feathers running, and turned her at last into the most beautiful bird of +paradise with a green velvet suit and a long tail, and sent her to eat +fruit in the Spice Islands, where cloves and nutmegs grow. + +And Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid settled her account with the wicked hoodies. +For, as they flew away, what should they find but a nasty dead dog?--on +which they all set to work, pecking and gobbling and cawing and +quarrelling to their hearts' content. But the moment afterwards, they +all threw up their bills into the air, and gave one screech; and then +turned head over heels backward, and fell down dead, one hundred and +twenty-three of them at once. For why? The fairy had told the gamekeeper +in a dream, to fill the dead dog full of strychnine; and so he did. + +And after a while the birds began to gather at Allfowlsness, in +thousands and tens of thousands, blackening all the air; swans and brant +geese, harlequins and eiders, harolds and garganeys, smews and +goosanders, divers and loons, grebes and dovekies, auks and +razor-bills, gannets and petrels, skuas and terns, with gulls beyond all +naming or numbering; and they paddled and washed and splashed and combed +and brushed themselves on the sand, till the shore was white with +feathers; and they quacked and clucked and gabbled and chattered and +screamed and whooped as they talked over matters with their friends, and +settled where they were to go and breed that summer, till you might have +heard them ten miles off; and lucky it was for them that there was no +one to hear them but the old keeper, who lived all alone upon the Ness, +in a turf hut thatched with heather and fringed round with great stones +slung across the roof by bent-ropes, lest the winter gales should blow +the hut right away. But he never minded the birds nor hurt them, because +they were not in season; indeed, he minded but two things in the whole +world, and those were, his Bible and his grouse; for he was as good an +old Scotchman as ever knit stockings on a winter's night: only, when all +the birds were going, he toddled out, and took off his cap to them, and +wished them a merry journey and a safe return; and then gathered up all +the feathers which they had left, and cleaned them to sell down south, +and make feather-beds for stuffy people to lie on. + +Then the petrels asked this bird and that whether they would take Tom to +Shiny Wall: but one set was going to Sutherland, and one to the +Shetlands, and one to Norway, and one to Spitzbergen, and one to +Iceland, and one to Greenland: but none would go to Shiny Wall. So the +good-natured petrels said that they would show him part of the way +themselves, but they were only going as far as Jan Mayen's Land; and +after that he must shift for himself. + +And then all the birds rose up, and streamed away in long black lines, +north, and north-east, and north-west, across the bright blue summer +sky; and their cry was like ten thousand packs of hounds, and ten +thousand peals of bells. Only the puffins stayed behind, and killed the +young rabbits, and laid their eggs in the rabbit-burrows; which was +rough practice, certainly; but a man must see to his own family. + +And, as Tom and the petrels went north-eastward, it began to blow right +hard; for the old gentleman in the grey great-coat, who looks after the +big copper boiler, in the gulf of Mexico, had got behindhand with his +work; so Mother Carey had sent an electric message to him for more +steam; and now the steam was coming, as much in an hour as ought to have +come in a week, puffing and roaring and swishing and swirling, till you +could not see where the sky ended and the sea began. But Tom and the +petrels never cared, for the gale was right abaft, and away they went +over the crests of the billows, as merry as so many flying-fish. + +And at last they saw an ugly sight--the black side of a great ship, +water-logged in the trough of the sea. Her funnel and her masts were +overboard, and swayed and surged under her lee; her decks were swept as +clean as a barn floor, and there was no living soul on board. + +The petrels flew up to her, and wailed round her; for they were very +sorry indeed, and also they expected to find some salt pork; and Tom +scrambled on board of her and looked round, frightened and sad. + +And there, in a little cot, lashed tight under the bulwark, lay a baby +fast asleep; the very same baby, Tom saw at once, which he had seen in +the singing lady's arms. + +He went up to it, and wanted to wake it; but behold, from under the cot +out jumped a little black and tan terrier dog, and began barking and +snapping at Tom, and would not let him touch the cot. + +Tom knew the dog's teeth could not hurt him: but at least it could shove +him away, and did; and he and the dog fought and struggled, for he +wanted to help the baby, and did not want to throw the poor dog +overboard: but as they were struggling, there came a tall green sea, and +walked in over the weather side of the ship, and swept them all into the +waves. + +"Oh, the baby, the baby!" screamed Tom: but the next moment he did not +scream at all; for he saw the cot settling down through the green water, +with the baby, smiling in it, fast asleep; and he saw the fairies come +up from below, and carry baby and cradle gently down in their soft arms; +and then he knew it was all right, and that there would be a new +water-baby in St. Brandan's Isle. + +And the poor little dog? + +Why, after he had kicked and coughed a little, he sneezed so hard, that +he sneezed himself clean out of his skin, and turned into a water-dog, +and jumped and danced round Tom, and ran over the crests of the waves, +and snapped at the jelly-fish and the mackerel, and followed Tom the +whole way to the Other-end-of-Nowhere. + +Then they went on again, till they began to see the peak of Jan Mayen's +Land, standing up like a white sugar-loaf, two miles above the clouds. + +And there they fell in with a whole flock of mollymocks, who were +feeding on a dead whale. + +"These are the fellows to show you the way," said Mother Carey's +chickens; "we cannot help you farther north. We don't like to get among +the ice pack, for fear it should nip our toes: but the mollys dare fly +anywhere." + +So the petrels called to the mollys: but they were so busy and greedy, +gobbling and pecking and spluttering and fighting over the blubber, that +they did not take the least notice. + +"Come, come," said the petrels, "you lazy greedy lubbers, this young +gentleman is going to Mother Carey, and if you don't attend on him, you +won't earn your discharge from her, you know." + +"Greedy we are," says a great fat old molly, "but lazy we ain't; and, as +for lubbers, we're no more lubbers than you. Let's have a look at the +lad." + +And he flapped right into Tom's face, and stared at him in the most +impudent way (for the mollys are audacious fellows, as all whalers +know), and then asked him where he hailed from, and what land he sighted +last. + +And, when Tom told him, he seemed pleased, and said he was a good +plucked one to have got so far. + +"Come along, lads," he said to the rest, "and give this little chap a +cast over the pack, for Mother Carey's sake. We've eaten blubber enough +for to-day, and we'll e'en work out a bit of our time by helping the +lad." + +So the mollys took Tom up on their backs, and flew off with him, +laughing and joking--and oh, how they did smell of train oil! + +"Who are you, you jolly birds?" asked Tom. + +"We are the spirits of the old Greenland skippers (as every sailor +knows), who hunted here, right whales and horse-whales, full hundreds of +years agone. But, because we were saucy and greedy, we were all turned +into mollys, to eat whale's blubber all our days. But lubbers we are +none, and could sail a ship now against any man in the North seas, +though we don't hold with this new-fangled steam. And it's a shame of +those black imps of petrels to call us so; but because they're her +grace's pets, they think they may say anything they like." + +"And who are you?" asked Tom of him, for he saw that he was the king of +all the birds. + +"My name is Hendrick Hudson, and a right good skipper was I; and my +name will last to the world's end, in spite of all the wrong I did. For +I discovered Hudson River, and I named Hudson's Bay; and many have come +in my wake that dared not have shown me the way. But I was a hard man in +my time, that's truth, and stole the poor Indians off the coast of +Maine, and sold them for slaves down in Virginia; and at last I was so +cruel to my sailors, here in these very seas, that they set me adrift in +an open boat, and I never was heard of more. So now I'm the king of all +mollys, till I've worked out my time." + +And now they came to the edge of the pack, and beyond it they could see +Shiny Wall looming, through mist, and snow, and storm. But the pack +rolled horribly upon the swell, and the ice giants fought and roared, +and leapt upon each other's backs, and ground each other to powder, so +that Tom was afraid to venture among them, lest he should be ground to +powder too. And he was the more afraid, when he saw lying among the ice +pack the wrecks of many a gallant ship; some with masts and yards all +standing, some with the seamen frozen fast on board. Alas, alas, for +them! They were all true English hearts; and they came to their end like +good knights-errant, in searching for the white gate that never was +opened yet. + +But the good mollys took Tom and his dog up, and flew with them safe +over the pack and the roaring ice giants, and set them down at the foot +of Shiny Wall. + +"And where is the gate?" asked Tom. + +"There is no gate," said the mollys. + +"No gate?" cried Tom, aghast. + +"None; never a crack of one, and that's the whole of the secret, as +better fellows, lad, than you have found to their cost; and if there had +been, they'd have killed by now every right whale that swims the sea." + +"What am I to do, then?" + +"Dive under the floe, to be sure, if you have pluck." + +"I've not come so far to turn now," said Tom; "so here goes for a +header." + +"A lucky voyage to you, lad," said the mollys; "we knew you were one of +the right sort. So good-bye." + +"Why don't you come too?" asked Tom. + +But the mollys only wailed sadly, "We can't go yet, we can't go yet," +and flew away over the pack. + +So Tom dived under the great white gate which never was opened yet, and +went on in black darkness, at the bottom of the sea, for seven days and +seven nights. And yet he was not a bit frightened. Why should he be? He +was a brave English lad, whose business is to go out and see all the +world. + +And at last he saw the light, and clear clear water overhead; and up he +came a thousand fathoms, among clouds of sea-moths, which fluttered +round his head. There were moths with pink heads and wings and opal +bodies, that flapped about slowly; moths with brown wings that flapped +about quickly; yellow shrimps that hopped and skipped most quickly of +all; and jellies of all the colours in the world, that neither hopped +nor skipped, but only dawdled and yawned, and would not get out of his +way. The dog snapped at them till his jaws were tired; but Tom hardly +minded them at all, he was so eager to get to the top of the water, and +see the pool where the good whales go. + +And a very large pool it was, miles and miles across, though the air was +so clear that the ice cliffs on the opposite side looked as if they were +close at hand. All round it the ice cliffs rose, in walls and spires and +battlements, and caves and bridges, and stories and galleries, in which +the ice-fairies live, and drive away the storms and clouds, that Mother +Carey's pool may lie calm from year's end to year's end. And the sun +acted policeman, and walked round outside every day, peeping just over +the top of the ice wall, to see that all went right; and now and then he +played conjuring tricks, or had an exhibition of fireworks, to amuse the +ice-fairies. For he would make himself into four or five suns at once, +or paint the sky with rings and crosses and crescents of white fire, and +stick himself in the middle of them, and wink at the fairies; and I +daresay they were very much amused; for anything's fun in the country. + +[Illustration: "That's Mother Carey."--_P. 219._] + +And there the good whales lay, the happy sleepy beasts, upon the still +oily sea. They were all right whales, you must know, and finners, and +razor-backs, and bottle-noses, and spotted sea-unicorns with long +ivory horns. But the sperm whales are such raging, ramping, roaring, +rumbustious fellows, that, if Mother Carey let them in, there would be +no more peace in Peacepool. So she packs them away in a great pond by +themselves at the South Pole, two hundred and sixty-three miles +south-south-east of Mount Erebus, the great volcano in the ice; and +there they butt each other with their ugly noses, day and night from +year's end to year's end. + +But here there were only good quiet beasts, lying about like the black +hulls of sloops, and blowing every now and then jets of white steam, or +sculling round with their huge mouths open, for the sea-moths to swim +down their throats. There were no threshers there to thresh their poor +old backs, or sword-fish to stab their stomachs, or saw-fish to rip them +up, or ice-sharks to bite lumps out of their sides, or whalers to +harpoon and lance them. They were quite safe and happy there; and all +they had to do was to wait quietly in Peacepool, till Mother Carey sent +for them to make them out of old beasts into new. + +Tom swam up to the nearest whale, and asked the way to Mother Carey. + +"There she sits in the middle," said the whale. + +Tom looked; but he could see nothing in the middle of the pool, but one +peaked iceberg: and he said so. + +"That's Mother Carey," said the whale, "as you will find when you get to +her. There she sits making old beasts into new all the year round." + +"How does she do that?" + +"That's her concern, not mine," said the old whale; and yawned so wide +(for he was very large) that there swam into his mouth 943 sea-moths, +13,846 jelly-fish no bigger than pins' heads, a string of salpæ nine +yards long, and forty-three little ice-crabs, who gave each other a +parting pinch all round, tucked their legs under their stomachs, and +determined to die decently, like Julius Cæsar. + +"I suppose," said Tom, "she cuts up a great whale like you into a whole +shoal of porpoises?" + +At which the old whale laughed so violently that he coughed up all the +creatures; who swam away again very thankful at having escaped out of +that terrible whalebone net of his, from which bourne no traveller +returns; and Tom went on to the iceberg, wondering. + +And, when he came near it, it took the form of the grandest old lady he +had ever seen--a white marble lady, sitting on a white marble throne. +And from the foot of the throne there swum away, out and out into the +sea, millions of new-born creatures, of more shapes and colours than man +ever dreamed. And they were Mother Carey's children, whom she makes out +of the sea-water all day long. + +He expected, of course--like some grown people who ought to know +better--to find her snipping, piecing, fitting, stitching, cobbling, +basting, filing, planing, hammering, turning, polishing, moulding, +measuring, chiselling, clipping, and so forth, as men do when they go +to work to make anything. + +But, instead of that, she sat quite still with her chin upon her hand, +looking down into the sea with two great grand blue eyes, as blue as the +sea itself. Her hair was as white as the snow--for she was very very +old--in fact, as old as anything which you are likely to come across, +except the difference between right and wrong. + +And, when she saw Tom, she looked at him very kindly. + +"What do you want, my little man? It is long since I have seen a +water-baby here." + +Tom told her his errand, and asked the way to the Other-end-of-Nowhere. + +"You ought to know yourself, for you have been there already." + +"Have I, ma'am? I'm sure I forget all about it." + +"Then look at me." + +And, as Tom looked into her great blue eyes, he recollected the way +perfectly. + +Now, was not that strange? + +"Thank you, ma'am," said Tom. "Then I won't trouble your ladyship any +more; I hear you are very busy." + +"I am never more busy than I am now," she said, without stirring a +finger. + +"I heard, ma'am, that you were always making new beasts out of old." + +"So people fancy. But I am not going to trouble myself to make things, +my little dear. I sit here and make them make themselves." + +"You are a clever fairy, indeed," thought Tom. And he was quite right. + +That is a grand trick of good old Mother Carey's, and a grand answer, +which she has had occasion to make several times to impertinent people. + +There was once, for instance, a fairy who was so clever that she found +out how to make butterflies. I don't mean sham ones; no: but real live +ones, which would fly, and eat, and lay eggs, and do everything that +they ought; and she was so proud of her skill that she went flying +straight off to the North Pole, to boast to Mother Carey how she could +make butterflies. + +But Mother Carey laughed. + +"Know, silly child," she said, "that any one can make things, if they +will take time and trouble enough: but it is not every one who, like me, +can make things make themselves." + +But people do not yet believe that Mother Carey is as clever as all that +comes to; and they will not till they, too, go the journey to the +Other-end-of-Nowhere. + +"And now, my pretty little man," said Mother Carey, "you are sure you +know the way to the Other-end-of-Nowhere?" + +Tom thought; and behold, he had forgotten it utterly. + +"That is because you took your eyes off me." + +Tom looked at her again, and recollected; and then looked away, and +forgot in an instant. + +"But what am I to do, ma'am? For I can't keep looking at you when I am +somewhere else." + +"You must do without me, as most people have to do, for nine hundred and +ninety-nine thousandths of their lives; and look at the dog instead; for +he knows the way well enough, and will not forget it. Besides, you may +meet some very queer-tempered people there, who will not let you pass +without this passport of mine, which you must hang round your neck and +take care of; and, of course, as the dog will always go behind you, you +must go the whole way backward." + +"Backward!" cried Tom. "Then I shall not be able to see my way." + +"On the contrary, if you look forward, you will not see a step before +you, and be certain to go wrong; but, if you look behind you, and watch +carefully whatever you have passed, and especially keep your eye on the +dog, who goes by instinct, and therefore can't go wrong, then you will +know what is coming next, as plainly as if you saw it in a +looking-glass." + +Tom was very much astonished: but he obeyed her, for he had learnt +always to believe what the fairies told him. + +"So it is, my dear child," said Mother Carey; "and I will tell you a +story, which will show you that I am perfectly right, as it is my custom +to be. + +"Once on a time, there were two brothers. One was called Prometheus, +because he always looked before him, and boasted that he was wise +beforehand. The other was called Epimetheus, because he always looked +behind him, and did not boast at all; but said humbly, like the +Irishman, that he had sooner prophesy after the event. + +[Illustration: "Pandora and her box."--_P. 224._] + +"Well, Prometheus was a very clever fellow, of course, and invented all +sorts of wonderful things. But, unfortunately, when they were set to +work, to work was just what they would not do: wherefore very little has +come of them, and very little is left of them; and now nobody knows what +they were, save a few archæological old gentlemen who scratch in queer +corners, and find little there save Ptinum Furem, Blaptem Mortisagam, +Acarum Horridum, and Tineam Laciniarum. + +"But Epimetheus was a very slow fellow, certainly, and went among men +for a clod, and a muff, and a milksop, and a slowcoach, and a bloke, and +a boodle, and so forth. And very little he did, for many years: but what +he did, he never had to do over again. + +"And what happened at last? There came to the two brothers the most +beautiful creature that ever was seen, Pandora by name; which means, All +the gifts of the Gods. But because she had a strange box in her hand, +this fanciful, forecasting, suspicious, prudential, theoretical, +deductive, prophesying Prometheus, who was always settling what was +going to happen, would have nothing to do with pretty Pandora and her +box. + +"But Epimetheus took her and it, as he took everything that came; and +married her for better for worse, as every man ought, whenever he has +even the chance of a good wife. And they opened the box between them, +of course, to see what was inside: for, else, of what possible use could +it have been to them? + +"And out flew all the ills which flesh is heir to; all the children of +the four great bogies, Self-will, Ignorance, Fear, and Dirt--for +instance: + + _Measles_, _Famines_, + _Monks_, _Quacks_, + _Scarlatina_, _Unpaid bills_, + _Idols_, _Tight stays_, + _Hooping-coughs_, _Potatoes_, + _Popes_, _Bad Wine_, + _Wars_, _Despots_, + _Peacemongers_, _Demagogues_, + _And, worst of all, Naughty Boys and Girls._ + +But one thing remained at the bottom of the box, and that was, Hope. + +"So Epimetheus got a great deal of trouble, as most men do in this +world: but he got the three best things in the world into the bargain--a +good wife, and experience, and hope: while Prometheus had just as much +trouble, and a great deal more (as you will hear), of his own making; +with nothing beside, save fancies spun out of his own brain, as a spider +spins her web out of her stomach. + +"And Prometheus kept on looking before him so far ahead, that as he was +running about with a box of lucifers (which were the only useful things +he ever invented, and do as much harm as good), he trod on his own nose, +and tumbled down (as most deductive philosophers do), whereby he set +the Thames on fire; and they have hardly put it out again yet. So he had +to be chained to the top of a mountain, with a vulture by him to give +him a peck whenever he stirred, lest he should turn the whole world +upside down with his prophecies and his theories. + +"But stupid old Epimetheus went working and grubbing on, with the help +of his wife Pandora, always looking behind him to see what had happened, +till he really learnt to know now and then what would happen next; and +understood so well which side his bread was buttered, and which way the +cat jumped, that he began to make things which would work, and go on +working, too; to till and drain the ground, and to make looms, and +ships, and railroads, and steam ploughs, and electric telegraphs, and +all the things which you see in the Great Exhibition; and to foretell +famine, and bad weather, and the price of stocks and (what is hardest of +all) the next vagary of the great idol Whirligig, which some call Public +Opinion; till at last he grew as rich as a Jew, and as fat as a farmer, +and people thought twice before they meddled with him, but only once +before they asked him to help them; for, because he earned his money +well, he could afford to spend it well likewise. + +"And his children are the men of science, who get good lasting work done +in the world; but the children of Prometheus are the fanatics, and the +theorists, and the bigots, and the bores, and the noisy windy people, +who go telling silly folk what will happen, instead of looking to see +what has happened already." + +Now, was not Mother Carey's a wonderful story? And, I am happy to say, +Tom believed it every word. + +For so it happened to Tom likewise. He was very sorely tried; for +though, by keeping the dog to heels (or rather to toes, for he had to +walk backward), he could see pretty well which way the dog was hunting, +yet it was much slower work to go backwards than to go forwards. But, +what was more trying still, no sooner had he got out of Peacepool, than +there came running to him all the conjurers, fortune-tellers, +astrologers, prophesiers, projectors, prestigiators, as many as were in +those parts (and there are too many of them everywhere), Old Mother +Shipton on her broomstick, with Merlin, Thomas the Rhymer, Gerbertus, +Rabanus Maurus, Nostradamus, Zadkiel, Raphael, Moore, Old Nixon, and a +good many in black coats and white ties who might have known better, +considering in what century they were born, all bawling and screaming at +him, "Look a-head, only look a-head; and we will show you what man never +saw before, and right away to the end of the world!" + +But I am proud to say that, though Tom had not been to Cambridge--for, +if he had, he would have certainly been senior wrangler--he was such a +little dogged, hard, gnarly, foursquare brick of an English boy, that he +never turned his head round once all the way from Peacepool to the +Other-end-of-Nowhere: but kept his eye on the dog, and let him pick out +the scent, hot or cold, straight or crooked, wet or dry, up hill or down +dale; by which means he never made a single mistake, and saw all the +wonderful and hitherto by-no-mortal-man-imagined things, which it is my +duty to relate to you in the next chapter. + + "Come to me, O ye children! + For I hear you at your play; + And the questions that perplexed me + Have vanished quite away. + + "Ye open the Eastern windows, + That look towards the sun, + Where thoughts are singing swallows, + And the brooks of morning run. + + * * * * * + + "For what are all our contrivings + And the wisdom of our books, + When compared with your caresses, + And the gladness of your looks? + + "Ye are better than all the ballads + That ever were sung or said; + For ye are living poems, + And all the rest are dead."--LONGFELLOW. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII AND LAST + + +HERE begins the never-to-be-too-much-studied account of the +nine-hundred-and-ninety-ninth part of the wonderful things which Tom saw +on his journey to the Other-end-of-Nowhere; which all good little +children are requested to read; that, if ever they get to the +Other-end-of-Nowhere, as they may very probably do, they may not burst +out laughing, or try to run away, or do any other silly vulgar thing +which may offend Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid. + +Now, as soon as Tom had left Peacepool, he came to the white lap of the +great sea-mother, ten thousand fathoms deep; where she makes world-pap +all day long, for the steam-giants to knead, and the fire-giants to +bake, till it has risen and hardened into mountain-loaves and +island-cakes. + +And there Tom was very near being kneaded up in the world-pap, and +turned into a fossil water-baby; which would have astonished the +Geological Society of New Zealand some hundreds of thousands of years +hence. + +For, as he walked along in the silence of the sea-twilight, on the soft +white ocean floor, he was aware of a hissing, and a roaring, and a +thumping, and a pumping, as of all the steam-engines in the world at +once. And, when he came near, the water grew boiling-hot; not that that +hurt him in the least: but it also grew as foul as gruel; and every +moment he stumbled over dead shells, and fish, and sharks, and seals, +and whales, which had been killed by the hot water. + +And at last he came to the great sea-serpent himself, lying dead at the +bottom; and as he was too thick to scramble over, Tom had to walk round +him three-quarters of a mile and more, which put him out of his path +sadly; and, when he had got round, he came to the place called Stop. And +there he stopped, and just in time. + +For he was on the edge of a vast hole in the bottom of the sea, up which +was rushing and roaring clear steam enough to work all the engines in +the world at once; so clear, indeed, that it was quite light at moments; +and Tom could see almost up to the top of the water above, and down +below into the pit for nobody knows how far. + +But, as soon as he bent his head over the edge, he got such a rap on the +nose from pebbles, that he jumped back again; for the steam, as it +rushed up, rasped away the sides of the hole, and hurled it up into the +sea in a shower of mud and gravel and ashes; and then it spread all +around, and sank again, and covered in the dead fish so fast, that +before Tom had stood there five minutes he was buried in silt up to his +ankles, and began to be afraid that he should have been buried alive. + +And perhaps he would have been, but that while he was thinking, the +whole piece of ground on which he stood was torn off and blown upwards, +and away flew Tom a mile up through the sea, wondering what was coming +next. + +At last he stopped--thump! and found himself tight in the legs of the +most wonderful bogy which he had ever seen. + +It had I don't know how many wings, as big as the sails of a windmill, +and spread out in a ring like them; and with them it hovered over the +steam which rushed up, as a ball hovers over the top of a fountain. And +for every wing above it had a leg below, with a claw like a comb at the +tip, and a nostril at the root; and in the middle it had no stomach and +one eye; and as for its mouth, that was all on one side, as the +madreporiform tubercle in a star-fish is. Well, it was a very strange +beast; but no stranger than some dozens which you may see. + +"What do you want here," it cried quite peevishly, "getting in my way?" +and it tried to drop Tom: but he held on tight to its claws, thinking +himself safer where he was. + +So Tom told him who he was, and what his errand was. And the thing +winked its one eye, and sneered: + +"I am too old to be taken in in that way. You are come after gold--I +know you are." + +"Gold! What is gold?" And really Tom did not know; but: the suspicious +old bogy would not believe him. + +But after a while Tom began to understand a little. For, as the vapours +came up out of the hole, the bogy smelt them with his nostrils, and +combed them and sorted them with his combs; and then, when they steamed +up through them against his wings, they were changed into showers and +streams of metal. From one wing fell gold-dust, and from another silver, +and from another copper, and from another tin, and from another lead, +and so on, and sank into the soft mud, into veins and cracks, and +hardened there. Whereby it comes to pass that the rocks are full of +metal. + +But, all of a sudden, somebody shut off the steam below, and the hole +was left empty in an instant: and then down rushed the water into the +hole, in such a whirlpool that the bogy spun round and round as fast as +a teetotum. But that was all in his day's work, like a fair fall with +the hounds; so all he did was to say to Tom-- + +"Now is your time, youngster, to get down, if you are in earnest, which +I don't believe." + +"You'll soon see," said Tom; and away he went, as bold as Baron +Munchausen, and shot down the rushing cataract like a salmon at +Ballisodare. + +And, when he got to the bottom, he swam till he was washed on shore safe +upon the Other-end-of-Nowhere; and he found it, to his surprise, as most +other people do, much more like This-End-of-Somewhere than he had been +in the habit of expecting. + +And first he went through Waste-paper-land, where all the stupid books +lie in heaps, up hill and down dale, like leaves in a winter wood; and +there he saw people digging and grubbing among them, to make worse books +out of bad ones, and thrashing chaff to save the dust of it; and a very +good trade they drove thereby, especially among children. + +Then he went by the sea of slops, to the mountain of messes, and the +territory of tuck, where the ground was very sticky, for it was all made +of bad toffee (not Everton toffee, of course), and full of deep cracks +and holes choked with wind-fallen fruit, and green gooseberries, and +sloes, and crabs, and whinberries, and hips and haws, and all the nasty +things which little children will eat, if they can get them. But the +fairies hide them out of the way in that country as fast as they can, +and very hard work they have, and of very little use it is. For as fast +as they hide away the old trash, foolish and wicked people make fresh +trash full of lime and poisonous paints, and actually go and steal +receipts out of old Madame Science's big book to invent poisons for +little children, and sell them at wakes and fairs and tuck-shops. Very +well. Let them go on. Dr. Letheby and Dr. Hassall cannot catch them, +though they are setting traps for them all day long. But the Fairy with +the birch-rod will catch them all in time, and make them begin at one +corner of their shops, and eat their way out at the other: by which time +they will have got such stomach-aches as will cure them of poisoning +little children. + +Next he saw all the little people in the world, writing all the little +books in the world, about all the other little people in the world; +probably because they had no great people to write about: and if the +names of the books were not Squeeky, nor the Pump-lighter, nor the +Narrow Narrow World, nor the Hills of the Chattermuch, nor the +Children's Twaddeday, why then they were something else. And all the +rest of the little people in the world read the books, and thought +themselves each as good as the President; and perhaps they were right, +for every one knows his own business best. But Tom thought he would +sooner have a jolly good fairy tale, about Jack the Giant-killer or +Beauty and the Beast, which taught him something that he didn't know +already. + +And next he came to the centre of Creation (the hub, they call it +there), which lies in latitude 42.21° south, and longitude 108.56° east. + +And there he found all the wise people instructing mankind in the +science of spirit-rapping, while their house was burning over their +heads: and when Tom told them of the fire, they held an indignation +meeting forthwith, and unanimously determined to hang Tom's dog for +coming into their country with gunpowder in his mouth. Tom couldn't help +saying that though they did fancy they had carried all the wit away with +them out of Lincolnshire two hundred years ago, yet if they had had one +such Lincolnshire nobleman among them as good old Lord Yarborough, he +would have called for the fire-engines before he hanged other people's +dogs. But it was of no use, and the dog was hanged: and Tom couldn't +even have his carcase; for they had abolished the have-his-carcase act +in that country, for fear lest when rogues fell out, honest men should +come by their own. And so they would have succeeded perfectly, as they +always do, only that (as they also always do) they failed in one little +particular, viz. that the dog would not die, being a water-dog, but bit +their fingers so abominably that they were forced to let him go, and Tom +likewise, as British subjects. Whereon they recommenced rapping for the +spirits of their fathers; and very much astonished the poor old spirits +were when they came, and saw how, according to the laws of Mrs. +Bedonebyasyoudid, their descendants had weakened their constitution by +hard living. + +Then came Tom to the Island of Polupragmosyne (which some call Rogues' +Harbour; but they are wrong; for that is in the middle of Bramshill +Bushes, and the county police have cleared it out long ago). There every +one knows his neighbour's business better than his own; and a very noisy +place it is, as might be expected, considering that all the inhabitants +are _ex officio_ on the wrong side of the house in the "Parliament of +Man, and the Federation of the World"; and are always making wry mouths, +and crying that the fairies' grapes were sour. + +There Tom saw ploughs drawing horses, nails driving hammers, birds' +nests taking boys, books making authors, bulls keeping china-shops, +monkeys shaving cats, dead dogs drilling live lions, blind brigadiers +shelfed as principals of colleges, play-actors not in the least shelfed +as popular preachers; and, in short, every one set to do something which +he had not learnt, because in what he had learnt, or pretended to learn, +he had failed. + +There stands the Pantheon of the Great Unsuccessful, from the builders +of the Tower of Babel to those of the Trafalgar Fountains; in which +politicians lecture on the constitutions which ought to have marched, +conspirators on the revolutions which ought to have succeeded, +economists on the schemes which ought to have made every one's fortune, +and projectors on the discoveries which ought to have set the Thames on +fire. There cobblers lecture on orthopedy (whatsoever that may be) +because they cannot sell their shoes; and poets on Æsthetics (whatsoever +that may be) because they cannot sell their poetry. There philosophers +demonstrate that England would be the freest and richest country in the +world, if she would only turn Papist again; penny-a-liners abuse the +_Times_, because they have not wit enough to get on its staff; and young +ladies walk about with lockets of Charles the First's hair (or of +somebody else's, when the Jews' genuine stock is used up), inscribed +with the neat and appropriate legend--which indeed is popular through +all that land, and which, I hope, you will learn to translate in due +time and to perpend likewise:-- + + "_Victrix causa diis placuit, sed victa puellis._" + +When he got into the middle of the town, they all set on him at once, +to show him his way; or rather, to show him that he did not know his +way; for as for asking him what way he wanted to go, no one ever thought +of that. + +But one pulled him hither, and another poked him thither, and a third +cried-- + +"You mustn't go west, I tell you; it is destruction to go west." + +"But I am not going west, as you may see," said Tom. + +And another, "The east lies here, my dear; I assure you this is the +east." + +"But I don't want to go east," said Tom. + +"Well, then, at all events, whichever way you are going, you are going +wrong," cried they all with one voice--which was the only thing which +they ever agreed about; and all pointed at once to all the +thirty-and-two points of the compass, till Tom thought all the +sign-posts in England had got together, and fallen fighting. + +And whether he would have ever escaped out of the town, it is hard to +say, if the dog had not taken it into his head that they were going to +pull his master in pieces, and tackled them so sharply about the +gastrocnemius muscle, that he gave them some business of their own to +think of at last; and while they were rubbing their bitten calves, Tom +and the dog got safe away. + +On the borders of that island he found Gotham, where the wise men live; +the same who dragged the pond because the moon had fallen into it, and +planted a hedge round the cuckoo, to keep spring all the year. And he +found them bricking up the town gate, because it was so wide that little +folks could not get through. And, when he asked why, they told him they +were expanding their liturgy. So he went on; for it was no business of +his: only he could not help saying that in his country, if the kitten +could not get in at the same hole as the cat, she might stay outside and +mew. + +But he saw the end of such fellows, when he came to the island of the +Golden Asses, where nothing but thistles grow. For there they were all +turned into mokes with ears a yard long, for meddling with matters which +they do not understand, as Lucius did in the story. And like him, mokes +they must remain, till, by the laws of development, the thistles develop +into roses. Till then, they must comfort themselves with the thought, +that the longer their ears are, the thicker their hides; and so a good +beating don't hurt them. + +Then came Tom to the great land of Hearsay, in which are no less than +thirty and odd kings, beside half a dozen Republics, and perhaps more by +next mail. + +And there he fell in with a deep, dark, deadly, and destructive war, +waged by the princes and potentates of those parts, both spiritual and +temporal, against what do you think? One thing I am sure of. That unless +I told you, you would never know; nor how they waged that war either; +for all their strategy and art military consisted in the safe and easy +process of stopping their ears and screaming, "Oh, don't tell us!" and +then running away. + +So when Tom came into that land, he found them all, high and low, man, +woman, and child, running for their lives day and night continually, and +entreating not to be told they didn't know what: only the land being an +island, and they having a dislike to the water (being a musty lot for +the most part), they ran round and round the shore for ever, which (as +the island was exactly of the same circumference as the planet on which +we have the honour of living) was hard work, especially to those who had +business to look after. But before them, as bandmaster and fugleman, ran +a gentleman shearing a pig; the melodious strains of which animal led +them for ever, if not to conquest, still to flight; and kept up their +spirits mightily with the thought that they would at least have the +pig's wool for their pains. + +And running after them, day and night, came such a poor, lean, seedy, +hard-worked old giant, as ought to have been cockered up, and had a good +dinner given him, and a good wife found him, and been set to play with +little children; and then he would have been a very presentable old +fellow after all; for he had a heart, though it was considerably +overgrown with brains. + +He was made up principally of fish bones and parchment, put together +with wire and Canada balsam; and smelt strongly of spirits, though he +never drank anything but water: but spirits he used somehow, there was +no denying. He had a great pair of spectacles on his nose, and a +butterfly-net in one hand, and a geological hammer in the other; and +was hung all over with pockets, full of collecting boxes, bottles, +microscopes, telescopes, barometers, ordnance maps, scalpels, forceps, +photographic apparatus, and all other tackle for finding out everything +about everything, and a little more too. And, most strange of all, he +was running not forwards but backwards, as fast as he could. + +Away all the good folks ran from him, except Tom, who stood his ground +and dodged between his legs; and the giant, when he had passed him, +looked down, and cried, as if he was quite pleased and comforted,-- + +"What? who are you? And you actually don't run away, like all the rest?" +But he had to take his spectacles off, Tom remarked, in order to see him +plainly. + +Tom told him who he was; and the giant pulled out a bottle and a cork +instantly, to collect him with. + +But Tom was too sharp for that, and dodged between his legs and in front +of him; and then the giant could not see him at all. + +"No, no, no!" said Tom, "I've not been round the world, and through the +world, and up to Mother Carey's haven, beside being caught in a net and +called a Holothurian and a Cephalopod, to be bottled up by any old giant +like you." + +And when the giant understood what a great traveller Tom had been, he +made a truce with him at once, and would have kept him there to this day +to pick his brains, so delighted was he at finding any one to tell him +what he did not know before. + +"Ah, you lucky little dog!" said he at last, quite simply--for he was +the simplest, pleasantest, honestest, kindliest old Dominie Sampson of a +giant that ever turned the world upside down without intending it--"ah, +you lucky little dog! If I had only been where you have been, to see +what you have seen!" + +"Well," said Tom, "if you want to do that, you had best put your head +under water for a few hours, as I did, and turn into a water-baby, or +some other baby, and then you might have a chance." + +"Turn into a baby, eh? If I could do that, and know what was happening +to me for but one hour, I should know everything then, and be at rest. +But I can't; I can't be a little child again; and I suppose if I could, +it would be no use, because then I should know nothing about what was +happening to me. Ah, you lucky little dog!" said the poor old giant. + +"But why do you run after all these poor people?" said Tom, who liked +the giant very much. + +"My dear, it's they that have been running after me, father and son, for +hundreds and hundreds of years, throwing stones at me till they have +knocked off my spectacles fifty times, and calling me a malignant and a +turbaned Turk, who beat a Venetian and traduced the State--goodness only +knows what they mean, for I never read poetry--and hunting me round and +round--though catch me they can't, for every time I go over the same +ground, I go the faster, and grow the bigger. While all I want is to be +friends with them, and to tell them something to their advantage, like +Mr. Joseph Ady: only somehow they are so strangely afraid of hearing it. +But, I suppose I am not a man of the world, and have no tact." + +"But why don't you turn round and tell them so?" + +"Because I can't. You see, I am one of the sons of Epimetheus, and must +go backwards, if I am to go at all." + +"But why don't you stop, and let them come up to you?" + +"Why, my dear, only think. If I did, all the butterflies and +cockyolybirds would fly past me, and then I should catch no more new +species, and should grow rusty and mouldy, and die. And I don't intend +to do that, my dear; for I have a destiny before me, they say: though +what it is I don't know, and don't care." + +"Don't care?" said Tom. + +"No. Do the duty which lies nearest you, and catch the first beetle you +come across, is my motto; and I have thriven by it for some hundred +years. Now I must go on. Dear me, while I have been talking to you, at +least nine new species have escaped me." + +And on went the giant, behind before, like a bull in a china-shop, till +he ran into the steeple of the great idol temple (for they are all +idolaters in those parts, of course, else they would never be afraid of +giants), and knocked the upper half clean off, hurting himself horribly +about the small of the back. + +But little he cared; for as soon as the ruins of the steeple were well +between his legs, he poked and peered among the falling stones, and +shifted his spectacles, and pulled out his pocket-magnifier, and cried-- + +"An entirely new Oniscus, and three obscure Podurellæ! Besides a moth +which M. le Roi des Papillons (though he, like all Frenchmen, is given +to hasty inductions) says is confined to the limits of the Glacial +Drift. This is most important!" + +And down he sat on the nave of the temple (not being a man of the world) +to examine his Podurellæ. Whereon (as was to be expected) the roof caved +in bodily, smashing the idols, and sending the priests flying out of +doors and windows, like rabbits out of a burrow when a ferret goes in. + +But he never heeded; for out of the dust flew a bat, and the giant had +him in a moment. + +"Dear me! This is even more important! Here is a cognate species to that +which Macgilliwaukie Brown insists is confined to the Buddhist temples +of Little Thibet; and now when I look at it, it may be only a variety +produced by difference of climate!" + +And having bagged his bat, up he got, and on he went; while all the +people ran, being in none the better humour for having their temple +smashed for the sake of three obscure species of Podurella, and a +Buddhist bat. + +"Well," thought Tom, "this is a very pretty quarrel, with a good deal to +be said on both sides. But it is no business of mine." + +And no more it was, because he was a water-baby, and had the original +sow by the right ear; which you will never have, unless you be a baby, +whether of the water, the land, or the air, matters not, provided you +can only keep on continually being a baby. + +So the giant ran round after the people, and the people ran round after +the giant, and they are running unto this day for aught I know, or do +not know; and will run till either he, or they, or both, turn into +little children. And then, as Shakespeare says (and therefore it must be +true)-- + + "_Jack shall have Gill + Nought shall go ill + The man shall have his mare again, and all go well._" + +Then Tom came to a very famous island, which was called, in the days of +the great traveller Captain Gulliver, the Isle of Laputa. But Mrs. +Bedonebyasyoudid has named it over again the Isle of Tomtoddies, all +heads and no bodies. + +And when Tom came near it, he heard such a grumbling and grunting and +growling and wailing and weeping and whining that he thought people must +be ringing little pigs, or cropping puppies' ears, or drowning kittens: +but when he came nearer still, he began to hear words among the noise; +which was the Tomtoddies' song which they sing morning and evening, and +all night too, to their great idol Examination-- + + "_I can't learn my lesson: the examiner's coming!_" + +And that was the only song which they knew. + +And when Tom got on shore the first thing he saw was a great pillar, on +one side of which was inscribed, "Playthings not allowed here"; at which +he was so shocked that he would not stay to see what was written on the +other side. Then he looked round for the people of the island: but +instead of men, women, and children, he found nothing but turnips and +radishes, beet and mangold wurzel, without a single green leaf among +them, and half of them burst and decayed, with toadstools growing out of +them. Those which were left began crying to Tom, in half a dozen +different languages at once, and all of them badly spoken, "I can't +learn my lesson; do come and help me!" And one cried, "Can you show me +how to extract this square root?" + +And another, "Can you tell me the distance between [Greek: a] Lyræ and +[Greek: b] Camelopardis?" + +And another, "What is the latitude and longitude of Snooksville, in +Noman's County, Oregon, U.S.?" + +And another, "What was the name of Mutius Scævola's thirteenth cousin's +grandmother's maid's cat?" + +And another, "How long would it take a school-inspector of average +activity to tumble head over heels from London to York?" + +And another, "Can you tell me the name of a place that nobody ever heard +of, where nothing ever happened, in a country which has not been +discovered yet?" + +And another, "Can you show me how to correct this hopelessly corrupt +passage of Graidiocolosyrtus Tabenniticus, on the cause why crocodiles +have no tongues?" + +And so on, and so on, and so on, till one would have thought they were +all trying for tide-waiters' places, or cornetcies in the heavy +dragoons. + +"And what good on earth will it do you if I did tell you?" quoth Tom. + +Well, they didn't know that: all they knew was the examiner was coming. + +Then Tom stumbled on the hugest and softest nimblecomequick turnip you +ever saw filling a hole in a crop of swedes, and it cried to him, "Can +you tell me anything at all about anything you like?" + +"About what?" says Tom. + +"About anything you like; for as fast as I learn things I forget them +again. So my mamma says that my intellect is not adapted for methodic +science, and says that I must go in for general information." + +Tom told him that he did not know general information, nor any officers +in the army; only he had a friend once that went for a drummer: but he +could tell him a great many strange things which he had seen in his +travels. + +So he told him prettily enough, while the poor turnip listened very +carefully; and the more he listened, the more he forgot, and the more +water ran out of him. + +Tom thought he was crying: but it was only his poor brains running away, +from being worked so hard; and as Tom talked, the unhappy turnip +streamed down all over with juice, and split and shrank till nothing was +left of him but rind and water; whereat Tom ran away in a fright, for he +thought he might be taken up for killing the turnip. + +But, on the contrary, the turnip's parents were highly delighted, and +considered him a saint and a martyr, and put up a long inscription over +his tomb about his wonderful talents, early development, and +unparalleled precocity. Were they not a foolish couple? But there was a +still more foolish couple next to them, who were beating a wretched +little radish, no bigger than my thumb, for sullenness and obstinacy and +wilful stupidity, and never knew that the reason why it couldn't learn +or hardly even speak was, that there was a great worm inside it eating +out all its brains. But even they are no foolisher than some hundred +score of papas and mammas, who fetch the rod when they ought to fetch a +new toy, and send to the dark cupboard instead of to the doctor. + +Tom was so puzzled and frightened with all he saw, that he was longing +to ask the meaning of it; and at last he stumbled over a respectable +old stick lying half covered with earth. But a very stout and worthy +stick it was, for it belonged to good Roger Ascham in old time, and had +carved on its head King Edward the Sixth, with the Bible in his hand. + +"You see," said the stick, "there were as pretty little children once as +you could wish to see, and might have been so still if they had been +only left to grow up like human beings, and then handed over to me; but +their foolish fathers and mothers, instead of letting them pick flowers, +and make dirt-pies, and get birds' nests, and dance round the gooseberry +bush, as little children should, kept them always at lessons, working, +working, working, learning week-day lessons all week-days, and Sunday +lessons all Sunday, and weekly examinations every Saturday, and monthly +examinations every month, and yearly examinations every year, everything +seven times over, as if once was not enough, and enough as good as a +feast--till their brains grew big, and their bodies grew small, and they +were all changed into turnips, with little but water inside; and still +their foolish parents actually pick the leaves off them as fast as they +grow, lest they should have anything green about them." + +"Ah!" said Tom, "if dear Mrs. Doasyouwouldbedoneby knew of it she would +send them a lot of tops, and balls, and marbles, and ninepins, and make +them all as jolly as sand-boys." + +"It would be no use," said the stick. "They can't play now, if they +tried. Don't you see how their legs have turned to roots and grown into +the ground, by never taking any exercise, but sapping and moping always +in the same place? But here comes the Examiner-of-all-Examiners. So you +had better get away, I warn you, or he will examine you and your dog +into the bargain, and set him to examine all the other dogs, and you to +examine all the other water-babies. There is no escaping out of his +hands, for his nose is nine thousand miles long, and can go down +chimneys, and through keyholes, upstairs, downstairs, in my lady's +chamber, examining all little boys, and the little boys' tutors +likewise. But when he is thrashed--so Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid has promised +me--I shall have the thrashing of him: and if I don't lay it on with a +will it's a pity." + +Tom went off: but rather slowly and surlily; for he was somewhat minded +to face this same Examiner-of-all-Examiners, who came striding among the +poor turnips, binding heavy burdens and grievous to be borne, and laying +them on little children's shoulders, like the Scribes and Pharisees of +old, and not touching the same with one of his fingers; for he had +plenty of money, and a fine house to live in, and so forth; which was +more than the poor little turnips had. + +But when he got near, he looked so big and burly and dictatorial, and +shouted so loud to Tom, to come and be examined, that Tom ran for his +life, and the dog too. And really it was time; for the poor turnips, in +their hurry and fright, crammed themselves so fast to be ready for the +Examiner, that they burst and popped by dozens all round him, till the +place sounded like Aldershot on a field-day, and Tom thought he should +be blown into the air, dog and all. + +As he went down to the shore he passed the poor turnip's new tomb. But +Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid had taken away the epitaph about talents and +precocity and development, and put up one of her own instead which Tom +thought much more sensible:-- + + "_Instruction sore long time I bore, + And cramming was in vain; + Till heaven did please my woes to ease + With water on the brain._" + +So Tom jumped into the sea, and swam on his way, singing:-- + + "_Farewell, Tomtoddies all; I thank my stars + That nought I know save those three royal r's: + Reading and riting sure, with rithmetick, + Will help a lad of sense through thin and thick._" + +Whereby you may see that Tom was no poet: but no more was John Bunyan, +though he was as wise a man as you will meet in a month of Sundays. + +And next he came to Oldwivesfabledom, where the folks were all heathens, +and worshipped a howling ape. + +And there he found a little boy sitting in the middle of the road, and +crying bitterly. + +"What are you crying for?" said Tom. + +"Because I am not as frightened as I could wish to be." + +"Not frightened? You are a queer little chap: but, if you want to be +frightened, here goes--Boo!" + +"Ah," said the little boy, "that is very kind of you; but I don't feel +that it has made any impression." + +Tom offered to upset him, punch him, stamp on him, fettle him over the +head with a brick, or anything else whatsoever which would give him the +slightest comfort. + +But he only thanked Tom very civilly, in fine long words which he had +heard other folk use, and which, therefore, he thought were fit and +proper to use himself; and cried on till his papa and mamma came, and +sent off for the Powwow man immediately. And a very good-natured +gentleman and lady they were, though they were heathens; and talked +quite pleasantly to Tom about his travels, till the Powwow man arrived, +with his thunderbox under his arm. + +And a well-fed, ill-favoured gentleman he was, as ever served Her +Majesty at Portland. Tom was a little frightened at first; for he +thought it was Grimes. But he soon saw his mistake: for Grimes always +looked a man in the face; and this fellow never did. And when he spoke, +it was fire and smoke; and when he sneezed, it was squibs and crackers; +and when he cried (which he did whenever it paid him), it was boiling +pitch; and some of it was sure to stick. + +"Here we are again!" cried he, like the clown in a pantomime. "So you +can't feel frightened, my little dear--eh? I'll do that for you. I'll +make an impression on you! Yah! Boo! Whirroo! Hullabaloo!" + +And he rattled, thumped, brandished his thunderbox, yelled, shouted, +raved, roared, stamped, and danced corrobory like any black fellow; and +then he touched a spring in the thunderbox, and out popped turnip-ghosts +and magic-lanthorns and pasteboard bogies and spring-heeled Jacks, and +sallaballas, with such a horrid din, clatter, clank, roll, rattle, and +roar, that the little boy turned up the whites of his eyes, and fainted +right away. + +And at that his poor heathen papa and mamma were as much delighted as if +they had found a gold mine; and fell down upon their knees before the +Powwow man, and gave him a palanquin with a pole of solid silver and +curtains of cloth of gold; and carried him about in it on their own +backs: but as soon as they had taken him up, the pole stuck to their +shoulders, and they could not set him down any more, but carried him on +willynilly, as Sinbad carried the old man of the sea: which was a +pitiable sight to see; for the father was a very brave officer, and wore +two swords and a blue button; and the mother was as pretty a lady as +ever had pinched feet like a Chinese. But you see, they had chosen to do +a foolish thing just once too often; so, by the laws of Mrs. +Bedonebyasyoudid, they had to go on doing it whether they chose or not, +till the coming of the Cocqcigrues. + +Ah! don't you wish that some one would go and convert those poor +heathens, and teach them not to frighten their little children into +fits? + +"Now, then," said the Powwow man to Tom, "wouldn't you like to be +frightened, my little dear? For I can see plainly that you are a very +wicked, naughty, graceless, reprobate boy." + +"You're another," quoth Tom, very sturdily. And when the man ran at him, +and cried "Boo!" Tom ran at him in return, and cried "Boo!" likewise, +right in his face, and set the little dog upon him; and at his legs the +dog went. + +At which, if you will believe it, the fellow turned tail, thunderbox and +all, with a "Woof!" like an old sow on the common; and ran for his life, +screaming, "Help! thieves! murder! fire! He is going to kill me! I am a +ruined man! He will murder me; and break, burn, and destroy my precious +and invaluable thunderbox; and then you will have no more +thunder-showers in the land. Help! help! help!" + +At which the papa and mamma and all the people of Oldwivesfabledom flew +at Tom, shouting, "Oh, the wicked, impudent, hard-hearted, graceless +boy! Beat him, kick him, shoot him, drown him, hang him, burn him!" and +so forth: but luckily they had nothing to shoot, hang, or burn him with, +for the fairies had hid all the killing-tackle out of the way a little +while before; so they could only pelt him with stones; and some of the +stones went clean through him, and came out the other side. But he did +not mind that a bit; for the holes closed up again as fast as they were +made, because he was a water-baby. However, he was very glad when he was +safe out of the country, for the noise there made him all but deaf. + +Then he came to a very quiet place, called Leaveheavenalone. And there +the sun was drawing water out of the sea to make steam-threads, and the +wind was twisting them up to make cloud-patterns, till they had worked +between them the loveliest wedding veil of Chantilly lace, and hung it +up in their own Crystal Palace for any one to buy who could afford it; +while the good old sea never grudged, for she knew they would pay her +back honestly. So the sun span, and the wind wove, and all went well +with the great steam-loom; as is likely, considering--and +considering--and considering-- + +And at last, after innumerable adventures, each more wonderful than the +last, he saw before him a huge building, much bigger, and--what is most +surprising--a little uglier than a certain new lunatic asylum, but not +built quite of the same materials. None of it, at least--or, indeed, for +aught that I ever saw, any part of any other building whatsoever--is +cased with nine-inch brick inside and out, and filled up with rubble +between the walls, in order that any gentleman who has been confined +during Her Majesty's pleasure may be unconfined during his own pleasure, +and take a walk in the neighbouring park to improve his spirits, after +an hour's light and wholesome labour with his dinner-fork or one of the +legs of his iron bedstead. No. The walls of this building were built on +an entirely different principle, which need not be described, as it has +not yet been discovered. + +Tom walked towards this great building, wondering what it was, and +having a strange fancy that he might find Mr. Grimes inside it, till he +saw running toward him, and shouting "Stop!" three or four people, who, +when they came nearer, were nothing else than policemen's truncheons, +running along without legs or arms. + +Tom was not astonished. He was long past that. Besides, he had seen the +naviculæ in the water move nobody knows how, a hundred times, without +arms, or legs, or anything to stand in their stead. Neither was he +frightened; for he had been doing no harm. + +So he stopped; and, when the foremost truncheon came up and asked his +business, he showed Mother Carey's pass; and the truncheon looked at it +in the oddest fashion; for he had one eye in the middle of his upper +end, so that when he looked at anything, being quite stiff, he had to +slope himself, and poke himself, till it was a wonder why he did not +tumble over; but, being quite full of the spirit of justice (as all +policemen, and their truncheons, ought to be), he was always in a +position of stable equilibrium, whichever way he put himself. + +"All right--pass on," said he at last. And then he added: "I had better +go with you, young man." And Tom had no objection, for such company was +both respectable and safe; so the truncheon coiled its thong neatly +round its handle, to prevent tripping itself up--for the thong had got +loose in running--and marched on by Tom's side. + +"Why have you no policeman to carry you?" asked Tom, after a while. + +"Because we are not like those clumsy-made truncheons in the land-world, +which cannot go without having a whole man to carry them about. We do +our own work for ourselves; and do it very well, though I say it who +should not." + +"Then why have you a thong to your handle?" asked Tom. + +"To hang ourselves up by, of course, when we are off duty." + +Tom had got his answer, and had no more to say, till they came up to the +great iron door of the prison. And there the truncheon knocked twice, +with its own head. + +A wicket in the door opened, and out looked a tremendous old brass +blunderbuss charged up to the muzzle with slugs, who was the porter; and +Tom started back a little at the sight of him. + +"What case is this?" he asked in a deep voice, out of his broad bell +mouth. + +"If you please, sir, it is no case; only a young gentleman from her +ladyship, who wants to see Grimes, the master-sweep." + +"Grimes?" said the blunderbuss. And he pulled in his muzzle, perhaps to +look over his prison-lists. + +"Grimes is up chimney No. 345," he said from inside. "So the young +gentleman had better go on to the roof." + +Tom looked up at the enormous wall, which seemed at least ninety miles +high, and wondered how he should ever get up: but, when he hinted that +to the truncheon, it settled the matter in a moment. For it whisked +round, and gave him such a shove behind as sent him up to the roof in no +time, with his little dog under his arm. + +And there he walked along the leads, till he met another truncheon, and +told him his errand. + +"Very good," it said. "Come along: but it will be of no use. He is the +most unremorseful, hard-hearted, foul-mouthed fellow I have in charge; +and thinks about nothing but beer and pipes, which are not allowed here, +of course." + +So they walked along over the leads, and very sooty they were, and Tom +thought the chimneys must want sweeping very much. But he was surprised +to see that the soot did not stick to his feet, or dirty them in the +least. Neither did the live coals, which were lying about in plenty, +burn him; for, being a water-baby, his radical humours were of a moist +and cold nature, as you may read at large in Lemnius, Cardan, Van +Helmont, and other gentlemen, who knew as much as they could, and no man +can know more. + +And at last they came to chimney No. 345. Out of the top of it, his head +and shoulders just showing, stuck poor Mr. Grimes, so sooty, and +bleared, and ugly, that Tom could hardly bear to look at him. And in his +mouth was a pipe; but it was not a-light; though he was pulling at it +with all his might. + +"Attention, Mr. Grimes," said the truncheon; "here is a gentleman come +to see you." + +But Mr. Grimes only said bad words; and kept grumbling, "My pipe won't +draw. My pipe won't draw." + +"Keep a civil tongue, and attend!" said the truncheon; and popped up +just like Punch, hitting Grimes such a crack over the head with itself, +that his brains rattled inside like a dried walnut in its shell. He +tried to get his hands out, and rub the place: but he could not, for +they were stuck fast in the chimney. Now he was forced to attend. + +"Hey!" he said, "why, it's Tom! I suppose you have come here to laugh at +me, you spiteful little atomy?" + +Tom assured him he had not, but only wanted to help him. + +"I don't want anything except beer, and that I can't get; and a light to +this bothering pipe, and that I can't get either." + +"I'll get you one," said Tom; and he took up a live coal (there were +plenty lying about) and put it to Grimes' pipe: but it went out +instantly. + +"It's no use," said the truncheon, leaning itself up against the chimney +and looking on. "I tell you, it is no use. His heart is so cold that it +freezes everything that comes near him. You will see that presently, +plain enough." + +"Oh, of course, it's my fault. Everything's always my fault," said +Grimes. "Now don't go to hit me again" (for the truncheon started +upright, and looked very wicked); "you know, if my arms were only free, +you daren't hit me then." + +The truncheon leant back against the chimney, and took no notice of the +personal insult, like a well-trained policeman as it was, though he was +ready enough to avenge any transgression against morality or order. + +"But can't I help you in any other way? Can't I help you to get out of +this chimney?" said Tom. + +"No," interposed the truncheon; "he has come to the place where +everybody must help themselves; and he will find it out, I hope, before +he has done with me." + +"Oh, yes," said Grimes, "of course it's me. Did I ask to be brought here +into the prison? Did I ask to be set to sweep your foul chimneys? Did I +ask to have lighted straw put under me to make me go up? Did I ask to +stick fast in the very first chimney of all, because it was so +shamefully clogged up with soot? Did I ask to stay here--I don't know +how long--a hundred years, I do believe, and never get my pipe, nor my +beer, nor nothing fit for a beast, let alone a man?" + +"No," answered a solemn voice behind. "No more did Tom, when you behaved +to him in the very same way." + +It was Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid. And, when the truncheon saw her, it +started bolt upright--Attention!--and made such a low bow, that if it +had not been full of the spirit of justice, it must have tumbled on its +end, and probably hurt its one eye. And Tom made his bow too. + +"Oh, ma'am," he said, "don't think about me; that's all past and gone, +and good times and bad times and all times pass over. But may not I help +poor Mr. Grimes? Mayn't I try and get some of these bricks away, that he +may move his arms?" + +"You may try, of course," she said. + +So Tom pulled and tugged at the bricks: but he could not move one. And +then he tried to wipe Mr. Grimes' face: but the soot would not come off. + +"Oh, dear!" he said. "I have come all this way, through all these +terrible places, to help you, and now I am of no use at all." + +"You had best leave me alone," said Grimes; "you are a good-natured +forgiving little chap, and that's truth; but you'd best be off. The +hail's coming on soon, and it will beat the eyes out of your little +head." + +"What hail?" + +"Why, hail that falls every evening here; and, till it comes close to +me, it's like so much warm rain: but then it turns to hail over my head, +and knocks me about like small shot." + +"That hail will never come any more," said the strange lady. "I have +told you before what it was. It was your mother's tears, those which +she shed when she prayed for you by her bedside; but your cold heart +froze it into hail. But she is gone to heaven now, and will weep no more +for her graceless son." + +Then Grimes was silent awhile; and then he looked very sad. + +"So my old mother's gone, and I never there to speak to her! Ah! a good +woman she was, and might have been a happy one, in her little school +there in Vendale, if it hadn't been for me and my bad ways." + +"Did she keep the school in Vendale?" asked Tom. And then he told Grimes +all the story of his going to her house, and how she could not abide the +sight of a chimney-sweep, and then how kind she was, and how he turned +into a water-baby. + +"Ah!" said Grimes, "good reason she had to hate the sight of a +chimney-sweep. I ran away from her and took up with the sweeps, and +never let her know where I was, nor sent her a penny to help her, and +now it's too late--too late!" said Mr. Grimes. + +And he began crying and blubbering like a great baby, till his pipe +dropped out of his mouth, and broke all to bits. + +"Oh, dear, if I was but a little chap in Vendale again, to see the clear +beck, and the apple-orchard, and the yew-hedge, how different I would go +on! But it's too late now. So you go along, you kind little chap, and +don't stand to look at a man crying, that's old enough to be your +father, and never feared the face of man, nor of worse neither. But I'm +beat now, and beat I must be. I've made my bed, and I must lie on it. +Foul I would be, and foul I am, as an Irishwoman said to me once; and +little I heeded it. It's all my own fault: but it's too late." And he +cried so bitterly that Tom began crying too. + +"Never too late," said the fairy, in such a strange soft new voice that +Tom looked up at her; and she was so beautiful for the moment, that Tom +half fancied she was her sister. + +No more was it too late. For, as poor Grimes cried and blubbered on, his +own tears did what his mother's could not do, and Tom's could not do, +and nobody's on earth could do for him; for they washed the soot off his +face and off his clothes; and then they washed the mortar away from +between the bricks; and the chimney crumbled down; and Grimes began to +get out of it. + +Up jumped the truncheon, and was going to hit him on the crown a +tremendous thump, and drive him down again like a cork into a bottle. +But the strange lady put it aside. + +"Will you obey me if I give you a chance?" + +"As you please, ma'am. You're stronger than me--that I know too well, +and wiser than me, I know too well also. And, as for being my own +master, I've fared ill enough with that as yet. So whatever your +ladyship pleases to order me; for I'm beat, and that's the truth." + +"Be it so then--you may come out. But remember, disobey me again, and +into a worse place still you go." + +"I beg pardon, ma'am, but I never disobeyed you that I know of. I never +had the honour of setting eyes upon you till I came to these ugly +quarters." + +"Never saw me? Who said to you, Those that will be foul, foul they will +be?" + +Grimes looked up; and Tom looked up too; for the voice was that of the +Irishwoman who met them the day that they went out together to +Harthover. "I gave you your warning then: but you gave it yourself a +thousand times before and since. Every bad word that you said--every +cruel and mean thing that you did--every time that you got tipsy--every +day that you went dirty--you were disobeying me, whether you knew it or +not." + +"If I'd only known, ma'am----" + +"You knew well enough that you were disobeying something, though you did +not know it was me. But come out and take your chance. Perhaps it may be +your last." + +So Grimes stepped out of the chimney, and really, if it had not been for +the scars on his face, he looked as clean and respectable as a +master-sweep need look. + +"Take him away," said she to the truncheon, "and give him his +ticket-of-leave." + +"And what is he to do, ma'am?" + +"Get him to sweep out the crater of Etna; he will find some very steady +men working out their time there, who will teach him his business: but +mind, if that crater gets choked again, and there is an earthquake in +consequence, bring them all to me, and I shall investigate the case very +severely." + +So the truncheon marched off Mr. Grimes, looking as meek as a drowned +worm. + +And for aught I know, or do not know, he is sweeping the crater of Etna +to this very day. + +"And now," said the fairy to Tom, "your work here is done. You may as +well go back again." + +"I should be glad enough to go," said Tom, "but how am I to get up that +great hole again, now the steam has stopped blowing?" + +"I will take you up the backstairs: but I must bandage your eyes first; +for I never allow anybody to see those backstairs of mine." + +"I am sure I shall not tell anybody about them, ma'am, if you bid me +not." + +"Aha! So you think, my little man. But you would soon forget your +promise if you got back into the land-world. For, if people only once +found out that you had been up my backstairs, you would have all the +fine ladies kneeling to you, and the rich men emptying their purses +before you, and statesmen offering you place and power; and young and +old, rich and poor, crying to you, 'Only tell us the great backstairs +secret, and we will be your slaves; we will make you lord, king, +emperor, bishop, archbishop, pope, if you like--only tell us the secret +of the backstairs. For thousands of years we have been paying, and +petting, and obeying, and worshipping quacks who told us they had the +key of the backstairs, and could smuggle us up them; and in spite of all +our disappointments, we will honour, and glorify, and adore, and +beatify, and translate, and apotheotise you likewise, on the chance of +your knowing something about the backstairs, that we may all go on +pilgrimage to it; and, even if we cannot get up it, lie at the foot of +it, and cry-- + + '_Oh, backstairs_, + _precious backstairs_, _comfortable backstairs_, + _invaluable backstairs_, _humane backstairs_, + _requisite backstairs_, _reasonable backstairs_, + _necessary backstairs_, _long-sought backstairs_, + _good-natured backstairs_, _coveted backstairs_, + _cosmopolitan backstairs_, _aristocratic backstairs_, + _comprehensive backstairs_, _respectable backstairs_, + _accommodating backstairs_, _gentlemanlike backstairs_, + _well-bred backstairs_, _ladylike backstairs_, + _commercial backstairs_, _orthodox backstairs_, + _economical backstairs_, _probable backstairs_, + _practical backstairs_, _credible backstairs_, + _logical backstairs_, _demonstrable backstairs_, + _deductive backstairs_, _irrefragable backstairs_, + _potent backstairs_, + _all-but-omnipotent backstairs_, + _&c._ + +Save us from the consequences of our own actions, and from the cruel +fairy, Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid!' Do not you think that you would be a +little tempted then to tell what you know, laddie?" + +Tom thought so certainly. "But why do they want so to know about the +backstairs?" asked he, being a little frightened at the long words, and +not understanding them the least; as, indeed, he was not meant to do, or +you either. + +"That I shall not tell you. I never put things into little folks' heads +which are but too likely to come there of themselves. So come--now I +must bandage your eyes." So she tied the bandage on his eyes with one +hand, and with the other she took it off. + +"Now," she said, "you are safe up the stairs." Tom opened his eyes very +wide, and his mouth too; for he had not, as he thought, moved a single +step. But, when he looked round him, there could be no doubt that he was +safe up the backstairs, whatsoever they may be, which no man is going to +tell you, for the plain reason that no man knows. + +The first thing which Tom saw was the black cedars, high and sharp +against the rosy dawn; and St. Brandan's Isle reflected double in the +still broad silver sea. The wind sang softly in the cedars, and the +water sang among the caves: the sea-birds sang as they streamed out into +the ocean, and the land-birds as they built among the boughs; and the +air was so full of song that it stirred St. Brandan and his hermits, as +they slumbered in the shade; and they moved their good old lips, and +sang their morning hymn amid their dreams. But among all the songs one +came across the water more sweet and clear than all; for it was the song +of a young girl's voice. + +And what was the song which she sang? Ah, my little man, I am too old to +sing that song, and you too young to understand it. But have patience, +and keep your eye single, and your hands clean, and you will learn some +day to sing it yourself, without needing any man to teach you. + +And as Tom neared the island, there sat upon a rock the most graceful +creature that ever was seen, looking down, with her chin upon her hand, +and paddling with her feet in the water. And when they came to her she +looked up, and behold it was Ellie. + +"Oh, Miss Ellie," said he, "how you are grown!" + +"Oh, Tom," said she, "how you are grown too!" + +And no wonder; they were both quite grown up--he into a tall man, and +she into a beautiful woman. + +"Perhaps I may be grown," she said. "I have had time enough; for I have +been sitting here waiting for you many a hundred years, till I thought +you were never coming." + +"Many a hundred years?" thought Tom; but he had seen so much in his +travels that he had quite given up being astonished; and, indeed, he +could think of nothing but Ellie. So he stood and looked at Ellie, and +Ellie looked at him; and they liked the employment so much that they +stood and looked for seven years more, and neither spoke nor stirred. + +At last they heard the fairy say: "Attention, children. Are you never +going to look at me again?" + +"We have been looking at you all this while," they said. And so they +thought they had been. + +"Then look at me once more," said she. + +They looked--and both of them cried out at once, "Oh, who are you, after +all?" + +"You are our dear Mrs. Doasyouwouldbedoneby." + +"No, you are good Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid; but you are grown quite +beautiful now!" + +"To you," said the fairy. "But look again." + +"You are Mother Carey," said Tom, in a very low, solemn voice; for he +had found out something which made him very happy, and yet frightened +him more than all that he had ever seen. + +"But you are grown quite young again." + +"To you," said the fairy. "Look again." + +"You are the Irishwoman who met me the day I went to Harthover!" + +And when they looked she was neither of them, and yet all of them at +once. + +"My name is written in my eyes, if you have eyes to see it there." + +And they looked into her great, deep, soft eyes, and they changed again +and again into every hue, as the light changes in a diamond. + +"Now read my name," said she, at last. + +And her eyes flashed, for one moment, clear, white, blazing light: but +the children could not read her name; for they were dazzled, and hid +their faces in their hands. + +"Not yet, young things, not yet," said she, smiling; and then she turned +to Ellie. + +"You may take him home with you now on Sundays, Ellie. He has won his +spurs in the great battle, and become fit to go with you and be a man; +because he has done the thing he did not like." + +So Tom went home with Ellie on Sundays, and sometimes on week-days, too; +and he is now a great man of science, and can plan railroads, and +steam-engines, and electric telegraphs, and rifled guns, and so forth; +and knows everything about everything, except why a hen's egg don't turn +into a crocodile, and two or three other little things which no one will +know till the coming of the Cocqcigrues. And all this from what he +learnt when he was a water-baby, underneath the sea. + +"And of course Tom married Ellie?" + +My dear child, what a silly notion! Don't you know that no one ever +marries in a fairy tale, under the rank of a prince or a princess? + +"And Tom's dog?" + +Oh, you may see him any clear night in July; for the old dog-star was so +worn out by the last three hot summers that there have been no dog-days +since; so that they had to take him down and put Tom's dog up in his +place. Therefore, as new brooms sweep clean, we may hope for some warm +weather this year. And that is the end of my story. + + + + +MORAL + + +_And now, my dear little man, what should we learn from this parable?_ + +_We should learn thirty-seven or thirty-nine things, I am not exactly +sure which: but one thing, at least, we may learn, and that is +this--when we see efts in the pond, never to throw stones at them, or +catch them with crooked pins, or put them into vivariums with +sticklebacks, that the sticklebacks may prick them in their poor little +stomachs, and make them jump out of the glass into somebody's work-box, +and so come to a bad end. For these efts are nothing else but the +water-babies who are stupid and dirty, and will not learn their lessons +and keep themselves clean; and, therefore (as comparative anatomists +will tell you fifty years hence, though they are not learned enough to +tell you now), their skulls grow flat, their jaws grow out, and their +brains grow small, and their tails grow long, and they lose all their +ribs (which I am sure you would not like to do), and their skins grow +dirty and spotted, and they never get into the clear rivers, much less +into the great wide sea, but hang about in dirty ponds, and live in the +mud, and eat worms, as they deserve to do._ + +_But that is no reason why you should ill-use them: but only why you +should pity them, and be kind to them, and hope that some day they will +wake up, and be ashamed of their nasty, dirty, lazy, stupid life, and +try to amend, and become something better once more. For, perhaps, if +they do so, then after 379,423 years, nine months, thirteen days, two +hours, and twenty-one minutes (for aught that appears to the contrary), +if they work very hard and wash very hard all that time, their brains +may grow bigger, and their jaws grow smaller, and their ribs come back, +and their tails wither off, and they will turn into water-babies again, +and perhaps after that into land-babies; and after that perhaps into +grown men._ + +_You know they won't? Very well, I daresay you know best. But you see, +some folks have a great liking for those poor little efts. They never +did anybody any harm, or could if they tried; and their only fault is, +that they do no good--any more than some thousands of their betters. But +what with ducks, and what with pike, and what with sticklebacks, and +what with water-beetles, and what with naughty boys, they are "sae sair +hadden doun," as the Scotsmen say, that it is a wonder how they live; +and some folks can't help hoping, with good Bishop Butler, that they may +have another chance, to make things fair and even, somewhere, somewhen, +somehow._ + +_Meanwhile, do you learn your lessons, and thank God that you have +plenty of cold water to wash in; and wash in it too, like a true +Englishman. And then, if my story is not true, something better is; and +if I am not quite right, still you will be, as long as you stick to hard +work and cold water._ + +_But remember always, as I told you at first, that this is all a fairy +tale, and only fun and pretence: and, therefore, you are not to believe +a word of it, even if it is true._ + + +THE END + + +_Printed in Great Britain by R. & R. CLARK, LIMITED, Edinburgh._ + + * * * * * + +Transcriber's Notes: + +Obvious punctuation errors repaired. + +Page 6, "piert" was retained as a spelling for "pert". + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Water-Babies, by +Charles Kingsley and Warwick Goble + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE WATER-BABIES *** + +***** This file should be named 25564-8.txt or 25564-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/2/5/5/6/25564/ + +Produced by Juliet Sutherland, Emmy and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Water-Babies + A Fairy Tale for a Land-Baby + +Author: Charles Kingsley + Warwick Goble + +Release Date: May 23, 2008 [EBook #25564] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE WATER-BABIES *** + + + + +Produced by Juliet Sutherland, Emmy and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + + + + + +[Illustration: Cover] + +[Illustration: "The thing whirred up into the air, and hung poised on +its wings, . . . a dragon fly, . . . the king of all the flies."--P. 74. +(_Frontispiece_)] + + + + + +THE WATER-BABIES + +A Fairy Tale for a Land-Baby + +BY CHARLES KINGSLEY + + WITH ILLUSTRATIONS IN COLOUR BY + WARWICK GOBLE + + MACMILLAN AND CO., LIMITED + ST. MARTIN'S STREET, LONDON + 1922 + + + + + _First Published 1863_ + _Edition with 32 Illustrations in Colour by Warwick Goble, Crown + 4to, 1909_ + _With 16 Illustrations in Colour by Warwick Goble, Demy 8vo, October + 1910_ + _Reprinted November 1910, 1912_ + _With 16 Illustrations in Colour by Warwick Goble, Medium 8vo, 1922_ + +PRINTED IN GREAT BRITAIN + + + + + TO + + MY YOUNGEST SON + + GRENVILLE ARTHUR + + AND + + TO ALL OTHER GOOD LITTLE BOYS + + + COME READ ME MY RIDDLE, EACH GOOD LITTLE MAN; + IF YOU CANNOT READ IT, NO GROWN-UP FOLK CAN. + + + + +ILLUSTRATIONS + + FACING PAGE + + The thing whirred up into the air, and hung poised on its + wings, . . . a dragon fly, ... the king of all the + flies.--p. 74 _Frontispiece_ + + In rushed a stout old nurse from the next room 20 + + Play by me, bathe in me, mother and child 32 + + A quiet, silent, rich, happy place 35 + + She was the Queen of them all 44 + + From which great trout rushed out on Tom 88 + + He watched the moonlight on the rippling river 101 + + Tom had never seen a lobster before 113 + + The fairies came flying in at the window and brought her + such a pretty pair of wings 126 + + A real live water-baby, sitting on the white sand 146 + + Tom found that the isle stood all on pillars, and that its + roots were full of caves 151 + + He crept away among the rocks, and got to the cabinet, and + behold! it was open 172 + + There he saw the last of the Gairfowl, standing up on the + Allalonestone, all alone 201 + + The most beautiful bird of paradise 210 + + "That's Mother Carey" 219 + + Pandora and her box 224 + + + + + + "I heard a thousand blended notes, + While in a grove I sate reclined; + In that sweet mood when pleasant thoughts + Bring sad thoughts to the mind. + + "To her fair works did Nature link + The human soul that through me ran; + And much it grieved my heart to think, + What man has made of man." + + WORDSWORTH. + + + + +CHAPTER I + + +ONCE upon a time there was a little chimney-sweep, and his name was Tom. +That is a short name, and you have heard it before, so you will not have +much trouble in remembering it. He lived in a great town in the North +country, where there were plenty of chimneys to sweep, and plenty of +money for Tom to earn and his master to spend. He could not read nor +write, and did not care to do either; and he never washed himself, for +there was no water up the court where he lived. He had never been taught +to say his prayers. He never had heard of God, or of Christ, except in +words which you never have heard, and which it would have been well if +he had never heard. He cried half his time, and laughed the other half. +He cried when he had to climb the dark flues, rubbing his poor knees and +elbows raw; and when the soot got into his eyes, which it did every day +in the week; and when his master beat him, which he did every day in the +week; and when he had not enough to eat, which happened every day in the +week likewise. And he laughed the other half of the day, when he was +tossing halfpennies with the other boys, or playing leap-frog over the +posts, or bowling stones at the horses' legs as they trotted by, which +last was excellent fun, when there was a wall at hand behind which to +hide. As for chimney-sweeping, and being hungry, and being beaten, he +took all that for the way of the world, like the rain and snow and +thunder, and stood manfully with his back to it till it was over, as his +old donkey did to a hail-storm; and then shook his ears and was as jolly +as ever; and thought of the fine times coming, when he would be a man, +and a master sweep, and sit in the public-house with a quart of beer and +a long pipe, and play cards for silver money, and wear velveteens and +ankle-jacks, and keep a white bull-dog with one grey ear, and carry her +puppies in his pocket, just like a man. And he would have apprentices, +one, two, three, if he could. How he would bully them, and knock them +about, just as his master did to him; and make them carry home the soot +sacks, while he rode before them on his donkey, with a pipe in his mouth +and a flower in his button-hole, like a king at the head of his army. +Yes, there were good times coming; and, when his master let him have a +pull at the leavings of his beer, Tom was the jolliest boy in the whole +town. + +One day a smart little groom rode into the court where Tom lived. Tom +was just hiding behind a wall, to heave half a brick at his horse's +legs, as is the custom of that country when they welcome strangers; but +the groom saw him, and halloed to him to know where Mr. Grimes, the +chimney-sweep, lived. Now, Mr. Grimes was Tom's own master, and Tom was +a good man of business, and always civil to customers, so he put the +half-brick down quietly behind the wall, and proceeded to take orders. + +Mr. Grimes was to come up next morning to Sir John Harthover's, at the +Place, for his old chimney-sweep was gone to prison, and the chimneys +wanted sweeping. And so he rode away, not giving Tom time to ask what +the sweep had gone to prison for, which was a matter of interest to Tom, +as he had been in prison once or twice himself. Moreover, the groom +looked so very neat and clean, with his drab gaiters, drab breeches, +drab jacket, snow-white tie with a smart pin in it, and clean round +ruddy face, that Tom was offended and disgusted at his appearance, and +considered him a stuck-up fellow, who gave himself airs because he wore +smart clothes, and other people paid for them; and went behind the wall +to fetch the half-brick after all; but did not, remembering that he had +come in the way of business, and was, as it were, under a flag of truce. + +His master was so delighted at his new customer that he knocked Tom down +out of hand, and drank more beer that night than he usually did in two, +in order to be sure of getting up in time next morning; for the more a +man's head aches when he wakes, the more glad he is to turn out, and +have a breath of fresh air. And, when he did get up at four the next +morning, he knocked Tom down again, in order to teach him (as young +gentlemen used to be taught at public schools) that he must be an extra +good boy that day, as they were going to a very great house, and might +make a very good thing of it, if they could but give satisfaction. + +And Tom thought so likewise, and, indeed, would have done and behaved +his best, even without being knocked down. For, of all places upon +earth, Harthover Place (which he had never seen) was the most wonderful, +and, of all men on earth, Sir John (whom he had seen, having been sent +to gaol by him twice) was the most awful. + +Harthover Place was really a grand place, even for the rich North +country; with a house so large that in the frame-breaking riots, which +Tom could just remember, the Duke of Wellington, and ten thousand +soldiers to match, were easily housed therein; at least, so Tom +believed; with a park full of deer, which Tom believed to be monsters +who were in the habit of eating children; with miles of game-preserves, +in which Mr. Grimes and the collier lads poached at times, on which +occasions Tom saw pheasants, and wondered what they tasted like; with a +noble salmon-river, in which Mr. Grimes and his friends would have liked +to poach; but then they must have got into cold water, and that they did +not like at all. In short, Harthover was a grand place, and Sir John a +grand old man, whom even Mr. Grimes respected; for not only could he +send Mr. Grimes to prison when he deserved it, as he did once or twice +a week; not only did he own all the land about for miles; not only was +he a jolly, honest, sensible squire, as ever kept a pack of hounds, who +would do what he thought right by his neighbours, as well as get what he +thought right for himself; but, what was more, he weighed full fifteen +stone, was nobody knew how many inches round the chest, and could have +thrashed Mr. Grimes himself in fair fight, which very few folk round +there could do, and which, my dear little boy, would not have been right +for him to do, as a great many things are not which one both can do, and +would like very much to do. So Mr. Grimes touched his hat to him when he +rode through the town, and called him a "buirdly awd chap," and his +young ladies "gradely lasses," which are two high compliments in the +North country; and thought that that made up for his poaching Sir John's +pheasants; whereby you may perceive that Mr. Grimes had not been to a +properly-inspected Government National School. + +Now, I dare say, you never got up at three o'clock on a midsummer +morning. Some people get up then because they want to catch salmon; and +some because they want to climb Alps; and a great many more because they +must, like Tom. But, I assure you, that three o'clock on a midsummer +morning is the pleasantest time of all the twenty-four hours, and all +the three hundred and sixty-five days; and why every one does not get up +then, I never could tell, save that they are all determined to spoil +their nerves and their complexions by doing all night what they might +just as well do all day. But Tom, instead of going out to dinner at +half-past eight at night, and to a ball at ten, and finishing off +somewhere between twelve and four, went to bed at seven, when his master +went to the public-house, and slept like a dead pig; for which reason he +was as piert as a game-cock (who always gets up early to wake the maids), +and just ready to get up when the fine gentlemen and ladies were just +ready to go to bed. + +So he and his master set out; Grimes rode the donkey in front, and Tom +and the brushes walked behind; out of the court, and up the street, past +the closed window-shutters, and the winking weary policemen, and the +roofs all shining grey in the grey dawn. + +They passed through the pitmen's village, all shut up and silent now, +and through the turnpike; and then they were out in the real country, +and plodding along the black dusty road, between black slag walls, with +no sound but the groaning and thumping of the pit-engine in the next +field. But soon the road grew white, and the walls likewise; and at the +wall's foot grew long grass and gay flowers, all drenched with dew; and +instead of the groaning of the pit-engine, they heard the skylark saying +his matins high up in the air, and the pit-bird warbling in the sedges, +as he had warbled all night long. + +All else was silent. For old Mrs. Earth was still fast asleep; and, like +many pretty people, she looked still prettier asleep than awake. The +great elm-trees in the gold-green meadows were fast asleep above, and +the cows fast asleep beneath them; nay, the few clouds which were about +were fast asleep likewise, and so tired that they had lain down on the +earth to rest, in long white flakes and bars, among the stems of the +elm-trees, and along the tops of the alders by the stream, waiting for +the sun to bid them rise and go about their day's business in the clear +blue overhead. + +On they went; and Tom looked, and looked, for he never had been so far +into the country before; and longed to get over a gate, and pick +buttercups, and look for birds' nests in the hedge; but Mr. Grimes was a +man of business, and would not have heard of that. + +Soon they came up with a poor Irishwoman, trudging along with a bundle +at her back. She had a grey shawl over her head, and a crimson madder +petticoat; so you may be sure she came from Galway. She had neither +shoes nor stockings, and limped along as if she were tired and footsore; +but she was a very tall handsome woman, with bright grey eyes, and heavy +black hair hanging about her cheeks. And she took Mr. Grimes' fancy so +much, that when he came alongside he called out to her: + +"This is a hard road for a gradely foot like that. Will ye up, lass, and +ride behind me?" + +But, perhaps, she did not admire Mr. Grimes' look and voice; for she +answered quietly: + +"No, thank you; I'd sooner walk with your little lad here." + +"You may please yourself," growled Grimes, and went on smoking. + +So she walked beside Tom, and talked to him, and asked him where he +lived, and what he knew, and all about himself, till Tom thought he had +never met such a pleasant-spoken woman. And she asked him, at last, +whether he said his prayers! and seemed sad when he told her that he +knew no prayers to say. + +Then he asked her where she lived, and she said far away by the sea. And +Tom asked her about the sea; and she told him how it rolled and roared +over the rocks in winter nights, and lay still in the bright summer +days, for the children to bathe and play in it; and many a story more, +till Tom longed to go and see the sea, and bathe in it likewise. + +At last, at the bottom of a hill, they came to a spring; not such a +spring as you see here, which soaks up out of a white gravel in the bog, +among red fly-catchers, and pink bottle-heath, and sweet white orchis; +nor such a one as you may see, too, here, which bubbles up under the +warm sandbank in the hollow lane, by the great tuft of lady ferns, and +makes the sand dance reels at the bottom, day and night, all the year +round; not such a spring as either of those; but a real North country +limestone fountain, like one of those in Sicily or Greece, where the old +heathen fancied the nymphs sat cooling themselves the hot summer's day, +while the shepherds peeped at them from behind the bushes. Out of a low +cave of rock, at the foot of a limestone crag, the great fountain rose, +quelling, and bubbling, and gurgling, so clear that you could not tell +where the water ended and the air began; and ran away under the road, a +stream large enough to turn a mill; among blue geranium, and golden +globe-flower, and wild raspberry, and the bird-cherry with its tassels +of snow. + +And there Grimes stopped, and looked; and Tom looked too. Tom was +wondering whether anything lived in that dark cave, and came out at +night to fly in the meadows. But Grimes was not wondering at all. +Without a word, he got off his donkey, and clambered over the low road +wall, and knelt down, and began dipping his ugly head into the +spring--and very dirty he made it. + +Tom was picking the flowers as fast as he could. The Irishwoman helped +him, and showed him how to tie them up; and a very pretty nosegay they +had made between them. But when he saw Grimes actually wash, he stopped, +quite astonished; and when Grimes had finished, and began shaking his +ears to dry them, he said: + +"Why, master, I never saw you do that before." + +"Nor will again, most likely. 'Twasn't for cleanliness I did it, but for +coolness. I'd be ashamed to want washing every week or so, like any +smutty collier lad." + +"I wish I might go and dip my head in," said poor little Tom. "It must +be as good as putting it under the town-pump; and there is no beadle +here to drive a chap away." + +"Thou come along," said Grimes; "what dost want with washing thyself? +Thou did not drink half a gallon of beer last night, like me." + +"I don't care for you," said naughty Tom, and ran down to the stream, +and began washing his face. + +Grimes was very sulky, because the woman preferred Tom's company to his; +so he dashed at him with horrid words, and tore him up from his knees, +and began beating him. But Tom was accustomed to that, and got his head +safe between Mr. Grimes' legs, and kicked his shins with all his might. + +"Are you not ashamed of yourself, Thomas Grimes?" cried the Irishwoman +over the wall. + +Grimes looked up, startled at her knowing his name; but all he answered +was, "No, nor never was yet"; and went on beating Tom. + +"True for you. If you ever had been ashamed of yourself, you would have +gone over into Vendale long ago." + +"What do you know about Vendale?" shouted Grimes; but he left off +beating Tom. + +"I know about Vendale, and about you, too. I know, for instance, what +happened in Aldermire Copse, by night, two years ago come Martinmas." + +"You do?" shouted Grimes; and leaving Tom, he climbed up over the wall, +and faced the woman. Tom thought he was going to strike her; but she +looked him too full and fierce in the face for that. + +"Yes; I was there," said the Irishwoman quietly. + +"You are no Irishwoman, by your speech," said Grimes, after many bad +words. + +"Never mind who I am. I saw what I saw; and if you strike that boy +again, I can tell what I know." + +Grimes seemed quite cowed, and got on his donkey without another word. + +"Stop!" said the Irishwoman. "I have one more word for you both; for you +will both see me again before all is over. Those that wish to be clean, +clean they will be; and those that wish to be foul, foul they will be. +Remember." + +And she turned away, and through a gate into the meadow. Grimes stood +still a moment, like a man who had been stunned. Then he rushed after +her, shouting, "You come back." But when he got into the meadow, the +woman was not there. + +Had she hidden away? There was no place to hide in. But Grimes looked +about, and Tom also, for he was as puzzled as Grimes himself at her +disappearing so suddenly; but look where they would, she was not there. + +Grimes came back again, as silent as a post, for he was a little +frightened; and, getting on his donkey, filled a fresh pipe, and smoked +away, leaving Tom in peace. + +And now they had gone three miles and more, and came to Sir John's +lodge-gates. + +Very grand lodges they were, with very grand iron gates and stone +gate-posts, and on the top of each a most dreadful bogy, all teeth, +horns, and tail, which was the crest which Sir John's ancestors wore in +the Wars of the Roses; and very prudent men they were to wear it, for +all their enemies must have run for their lives at the very first sight +of them. + +Grimes rang at the gate, and out came a keeper on the spot, and opened. + +"I was told to expect thee," he said. "Now thou'lt be so good as to keep +to the main avenue, and not let me find a hare or a rabbit on thee when +thou comest back. I shall look sharp for one, I tell thee." + +"Not if it's in the bottom of the soot-bag," quoth Grimes, and at that +he laughed; and the keeper laughed and said: + +"If that's thy sort, I may as well walk up with thee to the hall." + +"I think thou best had. It's thy business to see after thy game, man, +and not mine." + +So the keeper went with them; and, to Tom's surprise, he and Grimes +chatted together all the way quite pleasantly. He did not know that a +keeper is only a poacher turned outside in, and a poacher a keeper +turned inside out. + +They walked up a great lime avenue, a full mile long, and between their +stems Tom peeped trembling at the horns of the sleeping deer, which +stood up among the ferns. Tom had never seen such enormous trees, and as +he looked up he fancied that the blue sky rested on their heads. But he +was puzzled very much by a strange murmuring noise, which followed them +all the way. So much puzzled, that at last he took courage to ask the +keeper what it was. + +He spoke very civilly, and called him Sir, for he was horribly afraid of +him, which pleased the keeper, and he told him that they were the bees +about the lime flowers. + +"What are bees?" asked Tom. + +"What make honey." + +"What is honey?" asked Tom. + +"Thou hold thy noise," said Grimes. + +"Let the boy be," said the keeper. "He's a civil young chap now, and +that's more than he'll be long if he bides with thee." + +Grimes laughed, for he took that for a compliment. + +"I wish I were a keeper," said Tom, "to live in such a beautiful place, +and wear green velveteens, and have a real dog-whistle at my button, +like you." + +The keeper laughed; he was a kind-hearted fellow enough. + +"Let well alone, lad, and ill too at times. Thy life's safer than mine +at all events, eh, Mr. Grimes?" + +And Grimes laughed again, and then the two men began talking quite low. +Tom could hear, though, that it was about some poaching fight; and at +last Grimes said surlily, "Hast thou anything against me?" + +"Not now." + +"Then don't ask me any questions till thou hast, for I am a man of +honour." + +And at that they both laughed again, and thought it a very good joke. + +And by this time they were come up to the great iron gates in front of +the house; and Tom stared through them at the rhododendrons and azaleas, +which were all in flower; and then at the house itself, and wondered how +many chimneys there were in it, and how long ago it was built, and what +was the man's name that built it, and whether he got much money for his +job? + +These last were very difficult questions to answer. For Harthover had +been built at ninety different times, and in nineteen different styles, +and looked as if somebody had built a whole street of houses of every +imaginable shape, and then stirred them together with a spoon. + + _For the attics were Anglo-Saxon._ + + _The third floor Norman._ + + _The second Cinque-cento._ + + _The first-floor Elizabethan._ + + _The right wing Pure Doric._ + + _The centre Early English, with a huge portico + copied from the Parthenon._ + + _The left wing pure B[oe]otian, which the country + folk admired most of all, because it was just like + the new barracks in the town, only three times as + big._ + + _The grand staircase was copied from the Catacombs + at Rome._ + + _The back staircase from the Tajmahal at Agra. + This was built by Sir John's + great-great-great-uncle, who won, in Lord Clive's + Indian Wars, plenty of money, plenty of wounds, + and no more taste than his betters._ + + _The cellars were copied from the caves of + Elephanta._ + + _The offices from the Pavilion at Brighton._ + +And the rest from nothing in heaven, or earth, or under the earth. + +So that Harthover House was a great puzzle to antiquarians, and a +thorough Naboth's vineyard to critics, and architects, and all persons +who like meddling with other men's business, and spending other men's +money. So they were all setting upon poor Sir John, year after year, and +trying to talk him into spending a hundred thousand pounds or so, in +building, to please them and not himself. But he always put them off, +like a canny North-countryman as he was. One wanted him to build a +Gothic house, but he said he was no Goth; and another to build an +Elizabethan, but he said he lived under good Queen Victoria, and not +good Queen Bess; and another was bold enough to tell him that his house +was ugly, but he said he lived inside it, and not outside; and another, +that there was no unity in it, but he said that that was just why he +liked the old place. For he liked to see how each Sir John, and Sir +Hugh, and Sir Ralph, and Sir Randal, had left his mark upon the place, +each after his own taste; and he had no more notion of disturbing his +ancestors' work than of disturbing their graves. For now the house +looked like a real live house, that had a history, and had grown and +grown as the world grew; and that it was only an upstart fellow who did +not know who his own grandfather was, who would change it for some spick +and span new Gothic or Elizabethan thing, which looked as if it had been +all spawned in a night, as mushrooms are. From which you may collect (if +you have wit enough) that Sir John was a very sound-headed, +sound-hearted squire, and just the man to keep the country side in +order, and show good sport with his hounds. + +But Tom and his master did not go in through the great iron gates, as if +they had been Dukes or Bishops, but round the back way, and a very long +way round it was; and into a little back-door, where the ash-boy let +them in, yawning horribly; and then in a passage the housekeeper met +them, in such a flowered chintz dressing-gown, that Tom mistook her for +My Lady herself, and she gave Grimes solemn orders about "You will take +care of this, and take care of that," as if he was going up the +chimneys, and not Tom. And Grimes listened, and said every now and then, +under his voice, "You'll mind that, you little beggar?" and Tom did +mind, all at least that he could. And then the housekeeper turned them +into a grand room, all covered up in sheets of brown paper, and bade +them begin, in a lofty and tremendous voice; and so after a whimper or +two, and a kick from his master, into the grate Tom went, and up the +chimney, while a housemaid stayed in the room to watch the furniture; to +whom Mr. Grimes paid many playful and chivalrous compliments, but met +with very slight encouragement in return. + +How many chimneys Tom swept I cannot say; but he swept so many that he +got quite tired, and puzzled too, for they were not like the town flues +to which he was accustomed, but such as you would find--if you would +only get up them and look, which perhaps you would not like to do--in +old country-houses, large and crooked chimneys, which had been altered +again and again, till they ran one into another, anastomosing (as +Professor Owen would say) considerably. So Tom fairly lost his way in +them; not that he cared much for that, though he was in pitchy darkness, +for he was as much at home in a chimney as a mole is underground; but at +last, coming down as he thought the right chimney, he came down the +wrong one, and found himself standing on the hearthrug in a room the +like of which he had never seen before. + +Tom had never seen the like. He had never been in gentlefolks' rooms but +when the carpets were all up, and the curtains down, and the furniture +huddled together under a cloth, and the pictures covered with aprons and +dusters; and he had often enough wondered what the rooms were like when +they were all ready for the quality to sit in. And now he saw, and he +thought the sight very pretty. + +The room was all dressed in white,--white window-curtains, white +bed-curtains, white furniture, and white walls, with just a few lines of +pink here and there. The carpet was all over gay little flowers; and the +walls were hung with pictures in gilt frames, which amused Tom very +much. There were pictures of ladies and gentlemen, and pictures of +horses and dogs. The horses he liked; but the dogs he did not care for +much, for there were no bull-dogs among them, not even a terrier. But +the two pictures which took his fancy most were, one a man in long +garments, with little children and their mothers round him, who was +laying his hand upon the children's heads. That was a very pretty +picture, Tom thought, to hang in a lady's room. For he could see that it +was a lady's room by the dresses which lay about. + +The other picture was that of a man nailed to a cross, which surprised +Tom much. He fancied that he had seen something like it in a +shop-window. But why was it there? "Poor man," thought Tom, "and he +looks so kind and quiet. But why should the lady have such a sad picture +as that in her room? Perhaps it was some kinsman of hers, who had been +murdered by the savages in foreign parts, and she kept it there for a +remembrance." And Tom felt sad, and awed, and turned to look at +something else. + +The next thing he saw, and that too puzzled him, was a washing-stand, +with ewers and basins, and soap and brushes, and towels, and a large +bath full of clean water--what a heap of things all for washing! "She +must be a very dirty lady," thought Tom, "by my master's rule, to want +as much scrubbing as all that. But she must be very cunning to put the +dirt out of the way so well afterwards, for I don't see a speck about +the room, not even on the very towels." + +And then, looking toward the bed, he saw that dirty lady, and held his +breath with astonishment. + +Under the snow-white coverlet, upon the snow-white pillow, lay the most +beautiful little girl that Tom had ever seen. Her cheeks were almost as +white as the pillow, and her hair was like threads of gold spread all +about over the bed. She might have been as old as Tom, or maybe a year +or two older; but Tom did not think of that. He thought only of her +delicate skin and golden hair, and wondered whether she was a real live +person, or one of the wax dolls he had seen in the shops. But when he +saw her breathe, he made up his mind that she was alive, and stood +staring at her, as if she had been an angel out of heaven. + +No. She cannot be dirty. She never could have been dirty, thought Tom to +himself. And then he thought, "And are all people like that when they +are washed?" And he looked at his own wrist, and tried to rub the soot +off, and wondered whether it ever would come off. "Certainly I should +look much prettier then, if I grew at all like her." + +And looking round, he suddenly saw, standing close to him, a little +ugly, black, ragged figure, with bleared eyes and grinning white teeth. +He turned on it angrily. What did such a little black ape want in that +sweet young lady's room? And behold, it was himself, reflected in a +great mirror, the like of which Tom had never seen before. + +And Tom, for the first time in his life, found out that he was dirty; +and burst into tears with shame and anger; and turned to sneak up the +chimney again and hide; and upset the fender and threw the fire-irons +down, with a noise as of ten thousand tin kettles tied to ten thousand +mad dogs' tails. + +[Illustration: "In rushed a stout old nurse from the next room."--_P. +20._] + +Up jumped the little white lady in her bed, and, seeing Tom, screamed as +shrill as any peacock. In rushed a stout old nurse from the next room, +and seeing Tom likewise, made up her mind that he had come to rob, +plunder, destroy, and burn; and dashed at him, as he lay over the +fender, so fast that she caught him by the jacket. + +But she did not hold him. Tom had been in a policeman's hands many a +time, and out of them too, what is more; and he would have been ashamed +to face his friends for ever if he had been stupid enough to be caught +by an old woman; so he doubled under the good lady's arm, across the +room, and out of the window in a moment. + +He did not need to drop out, though he would have done so bravely +enough. Nor even to let himself down a spout, which would have been an +old game to him; for once he got up by a spout to the church roof, he +said to take jackdaws' eggs, but the policeman said to steal lead; and, +when he was seen on high, sat there till the sun got too hot, and came +down by another spout, leaving the policemen to go back to the +stationhouse and eat their dinners. + +But all under the window spread a tree, with great leaves and sweet +white flowers, almost as big as his head. It was magnolia, I suppose; +but Tom knew nothing about that, and cared less; for down the tree he +went, like a cat, and across the garden lawn, and over the iron +railings, and up the park towards the wood, leaving the old nurse to +scream murder and fire at the window. + +The under gardener, mowing, saw Tom, and threw down his scythe; caught +his leg in it, and cut his shin open, whereby he kept his bed for a +week; but in his hurry he never knew it, and gave chase to poor Tom. The +dairymaid heard the noise, got the churn between her knees, and tumbled +over it, spilling all the cream; and yet she jumped up, and gave chase +to Tom. A groom cleaning Sir John's hack at the stables let him go +loose, whereby he kicked himself lame in five minutes; but he ran out +and gave chase to Tom. Grimes upset the soot-sack in the new-gravelled +yard, and spoilt it all utterly; but he ran out and gave chase to Tom. +The old steward opened the park-gate in such a hurry, that he hung up +his pony's chin upon the spikes, and, for aught I know, it hangs there +still; but he jumped off, and gave chase to Tom. The ploughman left his +horses at the headland, and one jumped over the fence, and pulled the +other into the ditch, plough and all; but he ran on, and gave chase to +Tom. The keeper, who was taking a stoat out of a trap, let the stoat go, +and caught his own finger; but he jumped up, and ran after Tom; and +considering what he said, and how he looked, I should have been sorry +for Tom if he had caught him. Sir John looked out of his study window +(for he was an early old gentleman) and up at the nurse, and a marten +dropped mud in his eye, so that he had at last to send for the doctor; +and yet he ran out, and gave chase to Tom. The Irishwoman, too, was +walking up to the house to beg,--she must have got round by some +byway,--but she threw away her bundle, and gave chase to Tom likewise. +Only my Lady did not give chase; for when she had put her head out of +the window, her night-wig fell into the garden, and she had to ring up +her lady's-maid, and send her down for it privately, which quite put her +out of the running, so that she came in nowhere, and is consequently not +placed. + +In a word, never was there heard at Hall Place--not even when the fox +was killed in the conservatory, among acres of broken glass, and tons of +smashed flower-pots--such a noise, row, hubbub, babel, shindy, +hullabaloo, stramash, charivari, and total contempt of dignity, repose, +and order, as that day, when Grimes, gardener, the groom, the dairymaid, +Sir John, the steward, the ploughman, the keeper, and the Irishwoman, +all ran up the park, shouting "Stop thief," in the belief that Tom had +at least a thousand pounds' worth of jewels in his empty pockets; and +the very magpies and jays followed Tom up, screaking and screaming, as +if he were a hunted fox, beginning to droop his brush. + +And all the while poor Tom paddled up the park with his little bare +feet, like a small black gorilla fleeing to the forest. Alas for him! +there was no big father gorilla therein to take his part--to scratch +out the gardener's inside with one paw, toss the dairymaid into a tree +with another, and wrench off Sir John's head with a third, while he +cracked the keeper's skull with his teeth as easily as if it had been a +cocoa-nut or a paving-stone. + +However, Tom did not remember ever having had a father; so he did not +look for one, and expected to have to take care of himself; while as for +running, he could keep up for a couple of miles with any stage-coach, if +there was the chance of a copper or a cigar-end, and turn coach-wheels +on his hands and feet ten times following, which is more than you can +do. Wherefore his pursuers found it very difficult to catch him; and we +will hope that they did not catch him at all. + +Tom, of course, made for the woods. He had never been in a wood in his +life; but he was sharp enough to know that he might hide in a bush, or +swarm up a tree, and, altogether, had more chance there than in the +open. If he had not known that, he would have been foolisher than a +mouse or a minnow. + +But when he got into the wood, he found it a very different sort of +place from what he had fancied. He pushed into a thick cover of +rhododendrons, and found himself at once caught in a trap. The boughs +laid hold of his legs and arms, poked him in his face and his stomach, +made him shut his eyes tight (though that was no great loss, for he +could not see at best a yard before his nose); and when he got through +the rhododendrons, the hassock-grass and sedges tumbled him over, and +cut his poor little fingers afterwards most spitefully; the birches +birched him as soundly as if he had been a nobleman at Eton, and over +the face too (which is not fair swishing, as all brave boys will agree); +and the lawyers tripped him up, and tore his shins as if they had +sharks' teeth--which lawyers are likely enough to have. + +"I must get out of this," thought Tom, "or I shall stay here till +somebody comes to help me--which is just what I don't want." + +But how to get out was the difficult matter. And indeed I don't think he +would ever have got out at all, but have stayed there till the +cock-robins covered him with leaves, if he had not suddenly run his head +against a wall. + +Now running your head against a wall is not pleasant, especially if it +is a loose wall, with the stones all set on edge, and a sharp cornered +one hits you between the eyes and makes you see all manner of beautiful +stars. The stars are very beautiful, certainly; but unfortunately they +go in the twenty-thousandth part of a split second, and the pain which +comes after them does not. And so Tom hurt his head; but he was a brave +boy, and did not mind that a penny. He guessed that over the wall the +cover would end; and up it he went, and over like a squirrel. + +And there he was, out on the great grouse-moors, which the country folk +called Harthover Fell--heather and bog and rock, stretching away and +up, up to the very sky. + +Now, Tom was a cunning little fellow--as cunning as an old Exmoor stag. +Why not? Though he was but ten years old, he had lived longer than most +stags, and had more wits to start with into the bargain. + +He knew as well as a stag that if he backed he might throw the hounds +out. So the first thing he did when he was over the wall was to make the +neatest double sharp to his right, and run along under the wall for +nearly half a mile. + +Whereby Sir John, and the keeper, and the steward, and the gardener, and +the ploughman, and the dairymaid, and all the hue-and-cry together, went +on ahead half a mile in the very opposite direction, and inside the +wall, leaving him a mile off on the outside; while Tom heard their +shouts die away in the woods and chuckled to himself merrily. + +At last he came to a dip in the land, and went to the bottom of it, and +then he turned bravely away from the wall and up the moor; for he knew +that he had put a hill between him and his enemies, and could go on +without their seeing him. + +But the Irishwoman, alone of them all, had seen which way Tom went. She +had kept ahead of every one the whole time; and yet she neither walked +nor ran. She went along quite smoothly and gracefully, while her feet +twinkled past each other so fast that you could not see which was +foremost; till every one asked the other who the strange woman was; and +all agreed, for want of anything better to say, that she must be in +league with Tom. + +But when she came to the plantation, they lost sight of her; and they +could do no less. For she went quietly over the wall after Tom, and +followed him wherever he went. Sir John and the rest saw no more of her; +and out of sight was out of mind. + +And now Tom was right away into the heather, over just such a moor as +those in which you have been bred, except that there were rocks and +stones lying about everywhere, and that, instead of the moor growing +flat as he went upwards, it grew more and more broken and hilly, but not +so rough but that little Tom could jog along well enough, and find time, +too, to stare about at the strange place, which was like a new world to +him. + +He saw great spiders there, with crowns and crosses marked on their +backs, who sat in the middle of their webs, and when they saw Tom +coming, shook them so fast that they became invisible. Then he saw +lizards, brown and grey and green, and thought they were snakes, and +would sting him; but they were as much frightened as he, and shot away +into the heath. And then, under a rock, he saw a pretty sight--a great +brown, sharp-nosed creature, with a white tag to her brush, and round +her four or five smutty little cubs, the funniest fellows Tom ever saw. +She lay on her back, rolling about, and stretching out her legs and head +and tail in the bright sunshine; and the cubs jumped over her, and ran +round her, and nibbled her paws, and lugged her about by the tail; and +she seemed to enjoy it mightily. But one selfish little fellow stole +away from the rest to a dead crow close by, and dragged it off to hide +it, though it was nearly as big as he was. Whereat all his little +brothers set off after him in full cry, and saw Tom; and then all ran +back, and up jumped Mrs. Vixen, and caught one up in her mouth, and the +rest toddled after her, and into a dark crack in the rocks; and there +was an end of the show. + +And next he had a fright; for, as he scrambled up a sandy +brow--whirr-poof-poof-cock-cock-kick--something went off in his face, +with a most horrid noise. He thought the ground had blown up, and the +end of the world come. + +And when he opened his eyes (for he shut them very tight) it was +only an old cock-grouse, who had been washing himself in sand, +like an Arab, for want of water; and who, when Tom had all but +trodden on him, jumped up with a noise like the express train, +leaving his wife and children to shift for themselves, like an +old coward, and went off, screaming "Cur-ru-u-uck, cur-ru-u-uck--murder, +thieves, fire--cur-u-uck-cock-kick--the end of the world is +come--kick-kick-cock-kick." He was always fancying that the end of the +world was come, when anything happened which was farther off than the +end of his own nose. But the end of the world was not come, any more +than the twelfth of August was; though the old grouse-cock was quite +certain of it. + +So the old grouse came back to his wife and family an hour afterwards, +and said solemnly, "Cock-cock-kick; my dears, the end of the world is +not quite come; but I assure you it is coming the day after +to-morrow--cock." But his wife had heard that so often that she knew all +about it, and a little more. And, besides, she was the mother of a +family, and had seven little poults to wash and feed every day; and that +made her very practical, and a little sharp-tempered; so all she +answered was: "Kick-kick-kick--go and catch spiders, go and catch +spiders--kick." + +So Tom went on and on, he hardly knew why; but he liked the great wide +strange place, and the cool fresh bracing air. But he went more and more +slowly as he got higher up the hill; for now the ground grew very bad +indeed. Instead of soft turf and springy heather, he met great patches +of flat limestone rock, just like ill-made pavements, with deep cracks +between the stones and ledges, filled with ferns; so he had to hop from +stone to stone, and now and then he slipped in between, and hurt his +little bare toes, though they were tolerably tough ones; but still he +would go on and up, he could not tell why. + +What would Tom have said if he had seen, walking over the moor behind +him, the very same Irishwoman who had taken his part upon the road? But +whether it was that he looked too little behind him, or whether it was +that she kept out of sight behind the rocks and knolls, he never saw +her, though she saw him. + +And now he began to get a little hungry, and very thirsty; for he had +run a long way, and the sun had risen high in heaven, and the rock was +as hot as an oven, and the air danced reels over it, as it does over a +limekiln, till everything round seemed quivering and melting in the +glare. + +But he could see nothing to eat anywhere, and still less to drink. + +The heath was full of bilberries and whimberries; but they were only in +flower yet, for it was June. And as for water, who can find that on the +top of a limestone rock? Now and then he passed by a deep dark +swallow-hole, going down into the earth, as if it was the chimney of +some dwarf's house underground; and more than once, as he passed, he +could hear water falling, trickling, tinkling, many many feet below. How +he longed to get down to it, and cool his poor baked lips! But, brave +little chimney-sweep as he was, he dared not climb down such chimneys as +those. + +So he went on and on, till his head spun round with the heat, and he +thought he heard church-bells ringing, a long way off. + +"Ah!" he thought, "where there is a church there will be houses and +people; and, perhaps, some one will give me a bit and a sup." So he set +off again, to look for the church; for he was sure that he heard the +bells quite plain. + +And in a minute more, when he looked round, he stopped again, and said, +"Why, what a big place the world is!" + +And so it was; for, from the top of the mountain he could see--what +could he not see? + +Behind him, far below, was Harthover, and the dark woods, and the +shining salmon river; and on his left, far below, was the town, and the +smoking chimneys of the collieries; and far, far away, the river widened +to the shining sea; and little white specks, which were ships, lay on +its bosom. Before him lay, spread out like a map, great plains, and +farms, and villages, amid dark knots of trees. They all seemed at his +very feet; but he had sense to see that they were long miles away. + +And to his right rose moor after moor, hill after hill, till they faded +away, blue into blue sky. But between him and those moors, and really at +his very feet, lay something, to which, as soon as Tom saw it, he +determined to go, for that was the place for him. + +A deep, deep green and rocky valley, very narrow, and filled with wood; +but through the wood, hundreds of feet below him, he could see a clear +stream glance. Oh, if he could but get down to that stream! Then, by the +stream, he saw the roof of a little cottage, and a little garden set out +in squares and beds. And there was a tiny little red thing moving in the +garden, no bigger than a fly. As Tom looked down, he saw that it was a +woman in a red petticoat. Ah! perhaps she would give him something to +eat. And there were the church-bells ringing again. Surely there must be +a village down there. Well, nobody would know him, or what had happened +at the Place. The news could not have got there yet, even if Sir John +had set all the policemen in the county after him; and he could get down +there in five minutes. + +Tom was quite right about the hue-and-cry not having got thither; for he +had come without knowing it, the best part of ten miles from Harthover; +but he was wrong about getting down in five minutes, for the cottage was +more than a mile off, and a good thousand feet below. + +[Illustration: "Play by me, bathe in me, mother and child."--_P. 32._] + +However, down he went, like a brave little man as he was, though he was +very footsore, and tired, and hungry, and thirsty; while the +church-bells rang so loud, he began to think that they must be inside +his own head, and the river chimed and tinkled far below; and this was +the song which it sang:-- + + _Clear and cool, clear and cool, + By laughing shallow, and dreaming pool; + Cool and clear, cool and clear, + By shining shingle, and foaming wear; + Under the crag where the ouzel sings, + And the ivied wall where the church-bell rings, + Undefiled, for the undefiled; + Play by me, bathe in me, mother and child._ + + _Dank and foul, dank and foul, + By the smoky town in its murky cowl; + Foul and dank, foul and dank, + By wharf and sewer and slimy bank; + Darker and darker the farther I go, + Baser and baser the richer I grow; + Who dare sport with the sin-defiled? + Shrink from me, turn from me, mother and child._ + + _Strong and free, strong and free, + The floodgates are open, away to the sea, + Free and strong, free and strong, + Cleansing my streams as I hurry along, + To the golden sands, and the leaping bar, + And the taintless tide that awaits me afar. + As I lose myself in the infinite main, + Like a soul that has sinned and is pardoned again. + Undefiled, for the undefiled; + Play by me, bathe in me, mother and child._ + +So Tom went down; and all the while he never saw the Irishwoman going +down behind him. + + "And is there care in heaven? and is there love + In heavenly spirits to these creatures base + That may compassion of their evils move? + There is:--else much more wretched were the case + Of men than beasts: But oh! the exceeding grace + Of Highest God that loves His creatures so, + And all His works with mercy doth embrace, + That blessed Angels He sends to and fro, + To serve to wicked man, to serve His wicked foe!" + + SPENSER. + + + + + +CHAPTER II + + +[Illustration: "A quiet, silent, rich, happy place."--_P. 35._] + +A MILE off, and a thousand feet down. + +So Tom found it; though it seemed as if he could have chucked a pebble +on to the back of the woman in the red petticoat who was weeding in the +garden, or even across the dale to the rocks beyond. For the bottom of +the valley was just one field broad, and on the other side ran the +stream; and above it, grey crag, grey down, grey stair, grey moor walled +up to heaven. + +A quiet, silent, rich, happy place; a narrow crack cut deep into the +earth; so deep, and so out of the way, that the bad bogies can hardly +find it out. The name of the place is Vendale; and if you want to see it +for yourself, you must go up into the High Craven, and search from +Bolland Forest north by Ingleborough, to the Nine Standards and Cross +Fell; and if you have not found it, you must turn south, and search the +Lake Mountains, down to Scaw Fell and the sea; and then, if you have not +found it, you must go northward again by merry Carlisle, and search the +Cheviots all across, from Annan Water to Berwick Law; and then, whether +you have found Vendale or not, you will have found such a country, and +such a people, as ought to make you proud of being a British boy. + +So Tom went to go down; and first he went down three hundred feet of +steep heather, mixed up with loose brown gritstone, as rough as a file; +which was not pleasant to his poor little heels, as he came bump, stump, +jump, down the steep. And still he thought he could throw a stone into +the garden. + +Then he went down three hundred feet of limestone terraces, one below +the other, as straight as if a carpenter had ruled them with his ruler +and then cut them out with his chisel. There was no heath there, but-- + +First, a little grass slope, covered with the prettiest flowers, +rockrose and saxifrage, and thyme and basil, and all sorts of sweet +herbs. + +Then bump down a two-foot step of limestone. + +Then another bit of grass and flowers. + +Then bump down a one-foot step. + +Then another bit of grass and flowers for fifty yards, as steep as the +house-roof, where he had to slide down on his dear little tail. + +Then another step of stone, ten feet high; and there he had to stop +himself, and crawl along the edge to find a crack; for if he had rolled +over, he would have rolled right into the old woman's garden, and +frightened her out of her wits. + +Then, when he had found a dark narrow crack, full of green-stalked fern, +such as hangs in the basket in the drawing-room, and had crawled down +through it, with knees and elbows, as he would down a chimney, there +was another grass slope, and another step, and so on, till--oh, dear me! +I wish it was all over; and so did he. And yet he thought he could throw +a stone into the old woman's garden. + +At last he came to a bank of beautiful shrubs; white-beam with its great +silver-backed leaves, and mountain-ash, and oak; and below them cliff +and crag, cliff and crag, with great beds of crown-ferns and wood-sedge; +while through the shrubs he could see the stream sparkling, and hear it +murmur on the white pebbles. He did not know that it was three hundred +feet below. + +You would have been giddy, perhaps, at looking down: but Tom was not. He +was a brave little chimney-sweep; and when he found himself on the top +of a high cliff, instead of sitting down and crying for his baba (though +he never had had any baba to cry for), he said, "Ah, this will just suit +me!" though he was very tired; and down he went, by stock and stone, +sedge and ledge, bush and rush, as if he had been born a jolly little +black ape, with four hands instead of two. + +And all the while he never saw the Irishwoman coming down behind him. + +But he was getting terribly tired now. The burning sun on the fells had +sucked him up; but the damp heat of the woody crag sucked him up still +more; and the perspiration ran out of the ends of his fingers and toes, +and washed him cleaner than he had been for a whole year. But, of +course, he dirtied everything terribly as he went. There has been a +great black smudge all down the crag ever since. And there have been +more black beetles in Vendale since than ever were known before; all, of +course, owing to Tom's having blacked the original papa of them all, +just as he was setting off to be married, with a sky-blue coat and +scarlet leggings, as smart as a gardener's dog with a polyanthus in his +mouth. + +At last he got to the bottom. But, behold, it was not the bottom--as +people usually find when they are coming down a mountain. For at the +foot of the crag were heaps and heaps of fallen limestone of every size +from that of your head to that of a stage-waggon, with holes between +them full of sweet heath-fern; and before Tom got through them, he was +out in the bright sunshine again; and then he felt, once for all and +suddenly, as people generally do, that he was b-e-a-t, beat. + +You must expect to be beat a few times in your life, little man, if you +live such a life as a man ought to live, let you be as strong and +healthy as you may: and when you are, you will find it a very ugly +feeling. I hope that that day you may have a stout staunch friend by you +who is not beat; for, if you have not, you had best lie where you are, +and wait for better times, as poor Tom did. + +He could not get on. The sun was burning, and yet he felt chill all +over. He was quite empty, and yet he felt quite sick. There was but two +hundred yards of smooth pasture between him and the cottage, and yet he +could not walk down it. He could hear the stream murmuring only one +field beyond it, and yet it seemed to him as if it was a hundred miles +off. + +He lay down on the grass till the beetles ran over him, and the flies +settled on his nose. I don't know when he would have got up again, if +the gnats and the midges had not taken compassion on him. But the gnats +blew their trumpets so loud in his ear, and the midges nibbled so at his +hands and face wherever they could find a place free from soot, that at +last he woke up, and stumbled away, down over a low wall, and into a +narrow road, and up to the cottage door. + +And a neat pretty cottage it was, with clipped yew hedges all round the +garden, and yews inside too, cut into peacocks and trumpets and teapots +and all kinds of queer shapes. And out of the open door came a noise +like that of the frogs on the Great-A, when they know that it is going +to be scorching hot to-morrow--and how they know that I don't know, and +you don't know, and nobody knows. + +He came slowly up to the open door, which was all hung round with +clematis and roses; and then peeped in, half afraid. + +And there sat by the empty fireplace, which was filled with a pot of +sweet herbs, the nicest old woman that ever was seen, in her red +petticoat, and short dimity bedgown, and clean white cap, with a black +silk handkerchief over it, tied under her chin. At her feet sat the +grandfather of all the cats; and opposite her sat, on two benches, +twelve or fourteen neat, rosy, chubby little children, learning their +Chris-cross-row; and gabble enough they made about it. + +Such a pleasant cottage it was, with a shiny clean stone floor, and +curious old prints on the walls, and an old black oak sideboard full of +bright pewter and brass dishes, and a cuckoo clock in the corner, which +began shouting as soon as Tom appeared: not that it was frightened at +Tom, but that it was just eleven o'clock. + +All the children started at Tom's dirty black figure,--the girls began +to cry, and the boys began to laugh, and all pointed at him rudely +enough; but Tom was too tired to care for that. + +"What art thou, and what dost want?" cried the old dame. "A +chimney-sweep! Away with thee! I'll have no sweeps here." + +"Water," said poor little Tom, quite faint. + +"Water? There's plenty i' the beck," she said, quite sharply. + +"But I can't get there; I'm most clemmed with hunger and drought." And +Tom sank down upon the door-step, and laid his head against the post. + +And the old dame looked at him through her spectacles one minute, and +two, and three; and then she said, "He's sick; and a bairn's a bairn, +sweep or none." + +"Water," said Tom. + +"God forgive me!" and she put by her spectacles, and rose, and came to +Tom. "Water's bad for thee; I'll give thee milk." And she toddled off +into the next room, and brought a cup of milk and a bit of bread. + +Tom drank the milk off at one draught, and then looked up, revived. + +"Where didst come from?" said the dame. + +"Over Fell, there," said Tom, and pointed up into the sky. + +"Over Harthover? and down Lewthwaite Crag? Art sure thou art not lying?" + +"Why should I?" said Tom, and leant his head against the post. + +"And how got ye up there?" + +"I came over from the Place"; and Tom was so tired and desperate he had +no heart or time to think of a story, so he told all the truth in a few +words. + +"Bless thy little heart! And thou hast not been stealing, then?" + +"No." + +"Bless thy little heart! and I'll warrant not. Why, God's guided the +bairn, because he was innocent! Away from the Place, and over Harthover +Fell, and down Lewthwaite Crag! Who ever heard the like, if God hadn't +led him? Why dost not eat thy bread?" + +"I can't." + +"It's good enough, for I made it myself." + +"I can't," said Tom, and he laid his head on his knees, and then asked-- + +"Is it Sunday?" + +"No, then; why should it be?" + +"Because I hear the church-bells ringing so." + +"Bless thy pretty heart! The bairn's sick. Come wi' me, and I'll hap +thee up somewhere. If thou wert a bit cleaner I'd put thee in my own +bed, for the Lord's sake. But come along here." + +But when Tom tried to get up, he was so tired and giddy that she had to +help him and lead him. + +She put him in an outhouse upon soft sweet hay and an old rug, and bade +him sleep off his walk, and she would come to him when school was over, +in an hour's time. + +And so she went in again, expecting Tom to fall fast asleep at once. + +But Tom did not fall asleep. + +Instead of it he turned and tossed and kicked about in the strangest +way, and felt so hot all over that he longed to get into the river and +cool himself; and then he fell half asleep, and dreamt that he heard the +little white lady crying to him, "Oh, you're so dirty; go and be +washed"; and then that he heard the Irishwoman saying, "Those that wish +to be clean, clean they will be." And then he heard the church-bells +ring so loud, close to him too, that he was sure it must be Sunday, in +spite of what the old dame had said; and he would go to church, and see +what a church was like inside, for he had never been in one, poor little +fellow, in all his life. But the people would never let him come in, all +over soot and dirt like that. He must go to the river and wash first. +And he said out loud again and again, though being half asleep he did +not know it, "I must be clean, I must be clean." + +And all of a sudden he found himself, not in the outhouse on the hay, +but in the middle of a meadow, over the road, with the stream just +before him, saying continually, "I must be clean, I must be clean." He +had got there on his own legs, between sleep and awake, as children will +often get out of bed, and go about the room, when they are not quite +well. But he was not a bit surprised, and went on to the bank of the +brook, and lay down on the grass, and looked into the clear, clear +limestone water, with every pebble at the bottom bright and clean, while +the little silver trout dashed about in fright at the sight of his black +face; and he dipped his hand in and found it so cool, cool, cool; and he +said, "I will be a fish; I will swim in the water; I must be clean, I +must be clean." + +So he pulled off all his clothes in such haste that he tore some of +them, which was easy enough with such ragged old things. And he put his +poor hot sore feet into the water; and then his legs; and the farther he +went in, the more the church-bells rang in his head. + +"Ah," said Tom, "I must be quick and wash myself; the bells are ringing +quite loud now; and they will stop soon, and then the door will be shut, +and I shall never be able to get in at all." + +Tom was mistaken: for in England the church doors are left open all +service time, for everybody who likes to come in, Churchman or +Dissenter; ay, even if he were a Turk or a Heathen; and if any man dared +to turn him out, as long as he behaved quietly, the good old English law +would punish that man, as he deserved, for ordering any peaceable person +out of God's house, which belongs to all alike. But Tom did not know +that, any more than he knew a great deal more which people ought to +know. + +[Illustration: "She was the Queen of them all."--_P. 44._] + +And all the while he never saw the Irishwoman, not behind him this time, +but before. + +For just before he came to the river side, she had stept down into the +cool clear water; and her shawl and her petticoat floated off her, and +the green water-weeds floated round her sides, and the white +water-lilies floated round her head, and the fairies of the stream came +up from the bottom and bore her away and down upon their arms; for she +was the Queen of them all; and perhaps of more besides. + +"Where have you been?" they asked her. + +"I have been smoothing sick folks' pillows, and whispering sweet dreams +into their ears; opening cottage casements, to let out the stifling air; +coaxing little children away from gutters, and foul pools where fever +breeds; turning women from the gin-shop door, and staying men's hands as +they were going to strike their wives; doing all I can to help those who +will not help themselves; and little enough that is, and weary work for +me. But I have brought you a new little brother, and watched him safe +all the way here." + +Then all the fairies laughed for joy at the thought that they had a +little brother coming. + +"But mind, maidens, he must not see you, or know that you are here. He +is but a savage now, and like the beasts which perish; and from the +beasts which perish he must learn. So you must not play with him, or +speak to him, or let him see you: but only keep him from being harmed." + +Then the fairies were sad, because they could not play with their new +brother, but they always did what they were told. + +And their Queen floated away down the river; and whither she went, +thither she came. But all this Tom, of course, never saw or heard: and +perhaps if he had it would have made little difference in the story; for +he was so hot and thirsty, and longed so to be clean for once, that he +tumbled himself as quick as he could into the clear cool stream. + +And he had not been in it two minutes before he fell fast asleep, into +the quietest, sunniest, cosiest sleep that ever he had in his life; and +he dreamt about the green meadows by which he had walked that morning, +and the tall elm-trees, and the sleeping cows; and after that he dreamt +of nothing at all. + +The reason of his falling into such a delightful sleep is very simple; +and yet hardly any one has found it out. It was merely that the fairies +took him. + +Some people think that there are no fairies. Cousin Cramchild tells +little folks so in his Conversations. Well, perhaps there are none--in +Boston, U.S., where he was raised. There are only a clumsy lot of +spirits there, who can't make people hear without thumping on the table: +but they get their living thereby, and I suppose that is all they want. +And Aunt Agitate, in her Arguments on political economy, says there are +none. Well, perhaps there are none--in her political economy. But it is +a wide world, my little man--and thank Heaven for it, for else, between +crinolines and theories, some of us would get squashed--and plenty of +room in it for fairies, without people seeing them; unless, of course, +they look in the right place. The most wonderful and the strongest +things in the world, you know, are just the things which no one can see. +There is life in you; and it is the life in you which makes you grow, +and move, and think: and yet you can't see it. And there is steam in a +steam-engine; and that is what makes it move: and yet you can't see it; +and so there may be fairies in the world, and they may be just what +makes the world go round to the old tune of + + "_C'est l'amour, l'amour, l'amour + Qui fait le monde a la ronde:_" + +and yet no one may be able to see them except those whose hearts are +going round to that same tune. At all events, we will make believe that +there are fairies in the world. It will not be the last time by many a +one that we shall have to make believe. And yet, after all, there is no +need for that. There must be fairies; for this is a fairy tale: and how +can one have a fairy tale if there are no fairies? + +You don't see the logic of that? Perhaps not. Then please not to see the +logic of a great many arguments exactly like it, which you will hear +before your beard is grey. + +The kind old dame came back at twelve, when school was over, to look at +Tom: but there was no Tom there. She looked about for his footprints; +but the ground was so hard that there was no slot, as they say in dear +old North Devon. And if you grow up to be a brave healthy man, you may +know some day what no slot means, and know too, I hope, what a slot does +mean--a broad slot, with blunt claws, which makes a man put out his +cigar, and set his teeth, and tighten his girths, when he sees it; and +what his rights mean, if he has them, brow, bay, tray, and points; and +see something worth seeing between Haddon Wood and Countisbury Cliff, +with good Mr. Palk Collyns to show you the way, and mend your bones as +fast as you smash them. Only when that jolly day comes, please don't +break your neck; stogged in a mire you never will be, I trust; for you +are a heath-cropper bred and born. + +So the old dame went in again quite sulky, thinking that little Tom had +tricked her with a false story, and shammed ill, and then run away +again. + +But she altered her mind the next day. For, when Sir John and the rest +of them had run themselves out of breath, and lost Tom, they went back +again, looking very foolish. + +And they looked more foolish still when Sir John heard more of the story +from the nurse; and more foolish still, again, when they heard the whole +story from Miss Ellie, the little lady in white. All she had seen was a +poor little black chimney-sweep, crying and sobbing, and going to get +up the chimney again. Of course, she was very much frightened: and no +wonder. But that was all. The boy had taken nothing in the room; by the +mark of his little sooty feet, they could see that he had never been off +the hearthrug till the nurse caught hold of him. It was all a mistake. + +So Sir John told Grimes to go home, and promised him five shillings if +he would bring the boy quietly up to him, without beating him, that he +might be sure of the truth. For he took for granted, and Grimes too, +that Tom had made his way home. + +But no Tom came back to Mr. Grimes that evening; and he went to the +police-office, to tell them to look out for the boy. But no Tom was +heard of. As for his having gone over those great fells to Vendale, they +no more dreamed of that than of his having gone to the moon. + +So Mr. Grimes came up to Harthover next day with a very sour face; but +when he got there, Sir John was over the hills and far away; and Mr. +Grimes had to sit in the outer servants' hall all day, and drink strong +ale to wash away his sorrows; and they were washed away long before Sir +John came back. + +For good Sir John had slept very badly that night; and he said to his +lady, "My dear, the boy must have got over into the grouse-moors, and +lost himself; and he lies very heavily on my conscience, poor little +lad. But I know what I will do." + +So, at five the next morning up he got, and into his bath, and into his +shooting-jacket and gaiters, and into the stableyard, like a fine old +English gentleman, with a face as red as a rose, and a hand as hard as a +table, and a back as broad as a bullock's; and bade them bring his +shooting pony, and the keeper to come on his pony, and the huntsman, and +the first whip, and the second whip, and the under-keeper with the +bloodhound in a leash--a great dog as tall as a calf, of the colour of a +gravel-walk, with mahogany ears and nose, and a throat like a +church-bell. They took him up to the place where Tom had gone into the +wood; and there the hound lifted up his mighty voice, and told them all +he knew. + +Then he took them to the place where Tom had climbed the wall; and they +shoved it down, and all got through. + +And then the wise dog took them over the moor, and over the fells, step +by step, very slowly; for the scent was a day old, you know, and very +light from the heat and drought. But that was why cunning old Sir John +started at five in the morning. + +And at last he came to the top of Lewthwaite Crag, and there he bayed, +and looked up in their faces, as much as to say, "I tell you he is gone +down here!" + +They could hardly believe that Tom would have gone so far; and when they +looked at that awful cliff, they could never believe that he would have +dared to face it. But if the dog said so, it must be true. + +"Heaven forgive us!" said Sir John. "If we find him at all, we shall +find him lying at the bottom." And he slapped his great hand upon his +great thigh, and said-- + +"Who will go down over Lewthwaite Crag, and see if that boy is alive? Oh +that I were twenty years younger, and I would go down myself!" And so he +would have done, as well as any sweep in the county. Then he said-- + +"Twenty pounds to the man who brings me that boy alive!" and as was his +way, what he said he meant. + +Now among the lot was a little groom-boy, a very little groom indeed; +and he was the same who had ridden up the court, and told Tom to come to +the Hall; and he said-- + +"Twenty pounds or none, I will go down over Lewthwaite Crag, if it's +only for the poor boy's sake. For he was as civil a spoken little chap +as ever climbed a flue." + +So down over Lewthwaite Crag he went: a very smart groom he was at the +top, and a very shabby one at the bottom; for he tore his gaiters, and +he tore his breeches, and he tore his jacket, and he burst his braces, +and he burst his boots, and he lost his hat, and what was worst of all, +he lost his shirt pin, which he prized very much, for it was gold, and +he had won it in a raffle at Malton, and there was a figure at the top +of it, of t'ould mare, noble old Beeswing herself, as natural as life; +so it was a really severe loss: but he never saw anything of Tom. + +And all the while Sir John and the rest were riding round, full three +miles to the right, and back again, to get into Vendale, and to the foot +of the crag. + +When they came to the old dame's school, all the children came out to +see. And the old dame came out too; and when she saw Sir John, she +curtsied very low, for she was a tenant of his. + +"Well, dame, and how are you?" said Sir John. + +"Blessings on you as broad as your back, Harthover," says she--she +didn't call him Sir John, but only Harthover, for that is the fashion in +the North country--"and welcome into Vendale: but you're no hunting the +fox this time of the year?" + +"I am hunting, and strange game too," said he. + +"Blessings on your heart, and what makes you look so sad the morn?" + +"I'm looking for a lost child, a chimney-sweep, that is run away." + +"Oh, Harthover, Harthover," says she, "ye were always a just man and a +merciful; and ye'll no harm the poor little lad if I give you tidings of +him?" + +"Not I, not I, dame. I'm afraid we hunted him out of the house all on a +miserable mistake, and the hound has brought him to the top of +Lewthwaite Crag, and----" + +Whereat the old dame broke out crying, without letting him finish his +story. + +"So he told me the truth after all, poor little dear! Ah, first +thoughts are best, and a body's heart'll guide them right, if they will +but hearken to it." And then she told Sir John all. + +"Bring the dog here, and lay him on," said Sir John, without another +word, and he set his teeth very hard. + +And the dog opened at once; and went away at the back of the cottage, +over the road, and over the meadow, and through a bit of alder copse; +and there, upon an alder stump, they saw Tom's clothes lying. And then +they knew as much about it all as there was any need to know. + +And Tom? + +Ah, now comes the most wonderful part of this wonderful story. Tom, when +he woke, for of course he woke--children always wake after they have +slept exactly as long as is good for them--found himself swimming about +in the stream, being about four inches, or--that I may be +accurate--3.87902 inches long, and having round the parotid region of +his fauces a set of external gills (I hope you understand all the big +words) just like those of a sucking eft, which he mistook for a lace +frill, till he pulled at them, found he hurt himself, and made up his +mind that they were part of himself, and best left alone. + +In fact, the fairies had turned him into a water-baby. + +A water-baby? You never heard of a water-baby. Perhaps not. That is the +very reason why this story was written. There are a great many things in +the world which you never heard of; and a great many more which nobody +ever heard of; and a great many things, too, which nobody will ever hear +of, at least until the coming of the Cocqcigrues, when man shall be the +measure of all things. + +"But there are no such things as water-babies." + +How do you know that? Have you been there to see? And if you had been +there to see, and had seen none, that would not prove that there were +none. If Mr. Garth does not find a fox in Eversley Wood--as folks +sometimes fear he never will--that does not prove that there are no such +things as foxes. And as is Eversley Wood to all the woods in England, so +are the waters we know to all the waters in the world. And no one has a +right to say that no water-babies exist, till they have seen no +water-babies existing; which is quite a different thing, mind, from not +seeing water-babies; and a thing which nobody ever did, or perhaps ever +will do. + +"But surely if there were water-babies, somebody would have caught one +at least?" + +Well. How do you know that somebody has not? + +"But they would have put it into spirits, or into the _Illustrated +News_, or perhaps cut it into two halves, poor dear little thing, and +sent one to Professor Owen, and one to Professor Huxley, to see what +they would each say about it." + +Ah, my dear little man! that does not follow at all, as you will see +before the end of the story. + +"But a water-baby is contrary to nature." + +Well, but, my dear little man, you must learn to talk about such things, +when you grow older, in a very different way from that. You must not +talk about "ain't" and "can't" when you speak of this great wonderful +world round you, of which the wisest man knows only the very smallest +corner, and is, as the great Sir Isaac Newton said, only a child picking +up pebbles on the shore of a boundless ocean. + +You must not say that this cannot be, or that that is contrary to +nature. You do not know what Nature is, or what she can do; and nobody +knows; not even Sir Roderick Murchison, or Professor Owen, or Professor +Sedgwick, or Professor Huxley, or Mr. Darwin, or Professor Faraday, or +Mr. Grove, or any other of the great men whom good boys are taught to +respect. They are very wise men; and you must listen respectfully to all +they say: but even if they should say, which I am sure they never would, +"That cannot exist. That is contrary to nature," you must wait a little, +and see; for perhaps even they may be wrong. It is only children who +read Aunt Agitate's Arguments, or Cousin Cramchild's Conversations; or +lads who go to popular lectures, and see a man pointing at a few big +ugly pictures on the wall, or making nasty smells with bottles and +squirts, for an hour or two, and calling that anatomy or chemistry--who +talk about "cannot exist," and "contrary to nature." Wise men are afraid +to say that there is anything contrary to nature, except what is +contrary to mathematical truth; for two and two cannot make five, and +two straight lines cannot join twice, and a part cannot be as great as +the whole, and so on (at least, so it seems at present): but the wiser +men are, the less they talk about "cannot." That is a very rash, +dangerous word, that "cannot"; and if people use it too often, the Queen +of all the Fairies, who makes the clouds thunder and the fleas bite, and +takes just as much trouble about one as about the other, is apt to +astonish them suddenly by showing them, that though they say she cannot, +yet she can, and what is more, will, whether they approve or not. + +And therefore it is, that there are dozens and hundreds of things in the +world which we should certainly have said were contrary to nature, if we +did not see them going on under our eyes all day long. If people had +never seen little seeds grow into great plants and trees, of quite +different shape from themselves, and these trees again produce fresh +seeds, to grow into fresh trees, they would have said, "The thing cannot +be; it is contrary to nature." And they would have been quite as right +in saying so, as in saying that most other things cannot be. + +Or suppose again, that you had come, like M. Du Chaillu, a traveller +from unknown parts; and that no human being had ever seen or heard of an +elephant. And suppose that you described him to people, and said, "This +is the shape, and plan, and anatomy of the beast, and of his feet, and +of his trunk, and of his grinders, and of his tusks, though they are +not tusks at all, but two fore teeth run mad; and this is the section of +his skull, more like a mushroom than a reasonable skull of a reasonable +or unreasonable beast; and so forth, and so forth; and though the beast +(which I assure you I have seen and shot) is first cousin to the little +hairy coney of Scripture, second cousin to a pig, and (I suspect) +thirteenth or fourteenth cousin to a rabbit, yet he is the wisest of all +beasts, and can do everything save read, write, and cast accounts." +People would surely have said, "Nonsense; your elephant is contrary to +nature"; and have thought you were telling stories--as the French +thought of Le Vaillant when he came back to Paris and said that he had +shot a giraffe; and as the king of the Cannibal Islands thought of the +English sailor, when he said that in his country water turned to marble, +and rain fell as feathers. They would tell you, the more they knew of +science, "Your elephant is an impossible monster, contrary to the laws +of comparative anatomy, as far as yet known." To which you would answer +the less, the more you thought. + +Did not learned men, too, hold, till within the last twenty-five years, +that a flying dragon was an impossible monster? And do we not now know +that there are hundreds of them found fossil up and down the world? +People call them Pterodactyles: but that is only because they are +ashamed to call them flying dragons, after denying so long that flying +dragons could exist. + +The truth is, that folks' fancy that such and such things cannot be, +simply because they have not seen them, is worth no more than a savage's +fancy that there cannot be such a thing as a locomotive, because he +never saw one running wild in the forest. Wise men know that their +business is to examine what is, and not to settle what is not. They know +that there are elephants; they know that there have been flying dragons; +and the wiser they are, the less inclined they will be to say positively +that there are no water-babies. + +No water-babies, indeed? Why, wise men of old said that everything on +earth had its double in the water; and you may see that that is, if not +quite true, still quite as true as most other theories which you are +likely to hear for many a day. There are land-babies--then why not +water-babies? _Are there not water-rats, water-flies, water-crickets, +water-crabs, water-tortoises, water-scorpions, water-tigers and +water-hogs, water-cats and water-dogs, sea-lions and sea-bears, +sea-horses and sea-elephants, sea-mice and sea-urchins, sea-razors and +sea-pens, sea-combs and sea-fans; and of plants, are there not +water-grass, and water-crowfoot, water-milfoil, and so on, without end?_ + +"But all these things are only nicknames; the water things are not +really akin to the land things." + +That's not always true. They are, in millions of cases, not only of the +same family, but actually the same individual creatures. Do not even you +know that a green drake, and an alder-fly, and a dragon-fly, live under +water till they change their skins, just as Tom changed his? And if a +water animal can continually change into a land animal, why should not +a land animal sometimes change into a water animal? Don't be put down by +any of Cousin Cramchild's arguments, but stand up to him like a man, and +answer him (quite respectfully, of course) thus:-- + +If Cousin Cramchild says, that if there are water-babies, they must grow +into water-men, ask him how he knows that they do not? and then, how he +knows that they must, any more than the Proteus of the Adelsberg caverns +grows into a perfect newt. + +If he says that it is too strange a transformation for a land-baby to +turn into a water-baby, ask him if he ever heard of the transformation +of Syllis, or the Distomas, or the common jelly-fish, of which M. +Quatrefages says excellently well--"Who would not exclaim that a miracle +had come to pass, if he saw a reptile come out of the egg dropped by the +hen in his poultry-yard, and the reptile give birth at once to an +indefinite number of fishes and birds? Yet the history of the jelly-fish +is quite as wonderful as that would be." Ask him if he knows about all +this; and if he does not, tell him to go and look for himself; and +advise him (very respectfully, of course) to settle no more what strange +things cannot happen, till he has seen what strange things do happen +every day. + +If he says that things cannot degrade, that is, change downwards into +lower forms, ask him, who told him that water-babies were lower than +land-babies? But even if they were, does he know about the strange +degradation of the common goose-barnacles, which one finds sticking on +ships' bottoms; or the still stranger degradation of some cousins of +theirs, of which one hardly likes to talk, so shocking and ugly it is? + +And, lastly, if he says (as he most certainly will) that these +transformations only take place in the lower animals, and not in the +higher, say that that seems to little boys, and to some grown people, a +very strange fancy. For if the changes of the lower animals are so +wonderful, and so difficult to discover, why should not there be changes +in the higher animals far more wonderful, and far more difficult to +discover? And may not man, the crown and flower of all things, undergo +some change as much more wonderful than all the rest, as the Great +Exhibition is more wonderful than a rabbit-burrow? Let him answer that. +And if he says (as he will) that not having seen such a change in his +experience, he is not bound to believe it, ask him respectfully, where +his microscope has been? Does not each of us, in coming into this world, +go through a transformation just as wonderful as that of a sea-egg, or a +butterfly? and do not reason and analogy, as well as Scripture, tell us +that that transformation is not the last? and that, though what we shall +be, we know not, yet we are here but as the crawling caterpillar, and +shall be hereafter as the perfect fly. The old Greeks, heathens as they +were, saw as much as that two thousand years ago; and I care very little +for Cousin Cramchild, if he sees even less than they. And so forth, and +so forth, till he is quite cross. And then tell him that if there are +no water-babies, at least there ought to be; and that, at least, he +cannot answer. + +And meanwhile, my dear little man, till you know a great deal more about +nature than Professor Owen and Professor Huxley put together, don't tell +me about what cannot be, or fancy that anything is too wonderful to be +true. "We are fearfully and wonderfully made," said old David; and so we +are; and so is everything around us, down to the very deal table. Yes; +much more fearfully and wonderfully made, already, is the table, as it +stands now, nothing but a piece of dead deal wood, than if, as foxes +say, and geese believe, spirits could make it dance, or talk to you by +rapping on it. + +Am I in earnest? Oh dear no! Don't you know that this is a fairy tale, +and all fun and pretence; and that you are not to believe one word of +it, even if it is true? + +But at all events, so it happened to Tom. And, therefore, the keeper, +and the groom, and Sir John made a great mistake, and were very unhappy +(Sir John at least) without any reason, when they found a black thing in +the water, and said it was Tom's body, and that he had been drowned. +They were utterly mistaken. Tom was quite alive; and cleaner, and +merrier, than he ever had been. The fairies had washed him, you see, in +the swift river, so thoroughly, that not only his dirt, but his whole +husk and shell had been washed quite off him, and the pretty little real +Tom was washed out of the inside of it, and swam away, as a caddis does +when its case of stones and silk is bored through, and away it goes on +its back, paddling to the shore, there to split its skin, and fly away +as a caperer, on four fawn-coloured wings, with long legs and horns. +They are foolish fellows, the caperers, and fly into the candle at +night, if you leave the door open. We will hope Tom will be wiser, now +he has got safe out of his sooty old shell. + +But good Sir John did not understand all this, not being a fellow of the +Linnaean Society; and he took it into his head that Tom was drowned. When +they looked into the empty pockets of his shell, and found no jewels +there, nor money--nothing but three marbles, and a brass button with a +string to it--then Sir John did something as like crying as ever he did +in his life, and blamed himself more bitterly than he need have done. So +he cried, and the groom-boy cried, and the huntsman cried, and the dame +cried, and the little girl cried, and the dairymaid cried, and the old +nurse cried (for it was somewhat her fault), and my lady cried, for +though people have wigs, that is no reason why they should not have +hearts; but the keeper did not cry, though he had been so good-natured +to Tom the morning before; for he was so dried up with running after +poachers, that you could no more get tears out of him than milk out of +leather: and Grimes did not cry, for Sir John gave him ten pounds, and +he drank it all in a week. Sir John sent, far and wide, to find Tom's +father and mother: but he might have looked till Doomsday for them, for +one was dead, and the other was in Botany Bay. And the little girl would +not play with her dolls for a whole week, and never forgot poor little +Tom. And soon my lady put a pretty little tombstone over Tom's shell in +the little churchyard in Vendale, where the old dalesmen all sleep side +by side between the limestone crags. And the dame decked it with +garlands every Sunday, till she grew so old that she could not stir +abroad; then the little children decked it for her. And always she sang +an old old song, as she sat spinning what she called her wedding-dress. +The children could not understand it, but they liked it none the less +for that; for it was very sweet, and very sad; and that was enough for +them. And these are the words of it:-- + + _When all the world is young, lad, + And all the trees are green; + And every goose a swan, lad, + And every lass a queen; + Then hey for boot and horse, lad, + And round the world away; + Young blood must have its course, lad, + And every dog his day._ + + _When all the world is old, lad, + And all the trees are brown; + And all the sport is stale, lad, + And all the wheels run down; + Creep home, and take your place there, + The spent and maimed among: + God grant you find one face there, + You loved when all was young._ + +Those are the words: but they are only the body of it: the soul of the +song was the dear old woman's sweet face, and sweet voice, and the sweet +old air to which she sang; and that, alas! one cannot put on paper. And +at last she grew so stiff and lame, that the angels were forced to carry +her; and they helped her on with her wedding-dress, and carried her up +over Harthover Fells, and a long way beyond that too; and there was a +new schoolmistress in Vendale, and we will hope that she was not +certificated. + +And all the while Tom was swimming about in the river, with a pretty +little lace-collar of gills about his neck, as lively as a grig, and as +clean as a fresh-run salmon. + +Now if you don't like my story, then go to the schoolroom and learn your +multiplication-table, and see if you like that better. Some people, no +doubt, would do so. So much the better for us, if not for them. It takes +all sorts, they say, to make a world. + + "He prayeth well who loveth well + Both men and bird and beast; + He prayeth best who loveth best + All things both great and small: + For the dear God who loveth us, + He made and loveth all." + + COLERIDGE. + + + + + +CHAPTER III + + +TOM was now quite amphibious. You do not know what that means? + +You had better, then, ask the nearest Government pupil-teacher, who may +possibly answer you smartly enough, thus-- + +"Amphibious. Adjective, derived from two Greek words, _amphi_, a fish, +and _bios_, a beast. An animal supposed by our ignorant ancestors to be +compounded of a fish and a beast; which therefore, like the +hippopotamus, can't live on the land, and dies in the water." + +However that may be, Tom was amphibious: and what is better still, he +was clean. For the first time in his life, he felt how comfortable it +was to have nothing on him but himself. But he only enjoyed it: he did +not know it, or think about it; just as you enjoy life and health, and +yet never think about being alive and healthy; and may it be long before +you have to think about it! + +He did not remember having ever been dirty. Indeed, he did not remember +any of his old troubles, being tired, or hungry, or beaten, or sent up +dark chimneys. Since that sweet sleep, he had forgotten all about his +master, and Harthover Place, and the little white girl, and in a word, +all that had happened to him when he lived before; and what was best of +all, he had forgotten all the bad words which he had learned from +Grimes, and the rude boys with whom he used to play. + +That is not strange: for you know, when you came into this world, and +became a land-baby, you remembered nothing. So why should he, when he +became a water-baby? + +Then have you lived before? + +My dear child, who can tell? One can only tell that, by remembering +something which happened where we lived before; and as we remember +nothing, we know nothing about it; and no book, and no man, can ever +tell us certainly. + +There was a wise man once, a very wise man, and a very good man, who +wrote a poem about the feelings which some children have about having +lived before; and this is what he said-- + + "_Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting; + The soul that rises with us, our life's star, + Hath elsewhere had its setting, + And cometh from afar: + Not in entire forgetfulness, + And not in utter nakedness, + But trailing clouds of glory, do we come + From God, who is our home._" + +There, you can know no more than that. But if I was you, I would believe +that. For then the great fairy Science, who is likely to be queen of +all the fairies for many a year to come, can only do you good, and never +do you harm; and instead of fancying, with some people, that your body +makes your soul, as if a steam-engine could make its own coke; or, with +some people, that your soul has nothing to do with your body, but is +only stuck into it like a pin into a pin-cushion, to fall out with the +first shake;--you will believe the one true, + + _orthodox_, _inductive_, + _rational_, _deductive_, + _philosophical_, _seductive_, + _logical_, _productive_, + _irrefragable_, _salutary_, + _nominalistic_, _comfortable_, + _realistic_, + _and on-all-accounts-to-be-received_ + +doctrine of this wonderful fairy tale; which is, that your soul makes +your body, just as a snail makes his shell. For the rest, it is enough +for us to be sure that whether or not we lived before, we shall live +again; though not, I hope, as poor little heathen Tom did. For he went +downward into the water: but we, I hope, shall go upward to a very +different place. + +But Tom was very happy in the water. He had been sadly overworked in the +land-world; and so now, to make up for that, he had nothing but holidays +in the water-world for a long, long time to come. He had nothing to do +now but enjoy himself, and look at all the pretty things which are to +be seen in the cool clear water-world, where the sun is never too hot, +and the frost is never too cold. + +And what did he live on? Water-cresses, perhaps; or perhaps water-gruel, +and water-milk; too many land-babies do so likewise. But we do not know +what one-tenth of the water-things eat; so we are not answerable for the +water-babies. + +Sometimes he went along the smooth gravel water-ways, looking at the +crickets which ran in and out among the stones, as rabbits do on land; +or he climbed over the ledges of rock, and saw the sand-pipes hanging in +thousands, with every one of them a pretty little head and legs peeping +out; or he went into a still corner, and watched the caddises eating +dead sticks as greedily as you would eat plum-pudding, and building +their houses with silk and glue. Very fanciful ladies they were; none of +them would keep to the same materials for a day. One would begin with +some pebbles; then she would stick on a piece of green wood; then she +found a shell, and stuck it on too; and the poor shell was alive, and +did not like at all being taken to build houses with: but the caddis did +not let him have any voice in the matter, being rude and selfish, as +vain people are apt to be; then she stuck on a piece of rotten wood, +then a very smart pink stone, and so on, till she was patched all over +like an Irishman's coat. Then she found a long straw, five times as long +as herself, and said, "Hurrah! my sister has a tail, and I'll have one +too"; and she stuck it on her back, and marched about with it quite +proud, though it was very inconvenient indeed. And, at that, tails +became all the fashion among the caddis-baits in that pool, as they were +at the end of the Long Pond last May, and they all toddled about with +long straws sticking out behind, getting between each other's legs, and +tumbling over each other, and looking so ridiculous, that Tom laughed at +them till he cried, as we did. But they were quite right, you know; for +people must always follow the fashion, even if it be spoon-bonnets. + +Then sometimes he came to a deep still reach; and there he saw the +water-forests. They would have looked to you only little weeds: but Tom, +you must remember, was so little that everything looked a hundred times +as big to him as it does to you, just as things do to a minnow, who sees +and catches the little water-creatures which you can only see in a +microscope. + +And in the water-forest he saw the water-monkeys and water-squirrels +(they had all six legs, though; everything almost has six legs in the +water, except efts and water-babies); and nimbly enough they ran among +the branches. There were water-flowers there too, in thousands; and Tom +tried to pick them: but as soon as he touched them, they drew themselves +in and turned into knots of jelly; and then Tom saw that they were all +alive--bells, and stars, and wheels, and flowers, of all beautiful +shapes and colours; and all alive and busy, just as Tom was. So now he +found that there was a great deal more in the world than he had fancied +at first sight. + +There was one wonderful little fellow, too, who peeped out of the top of +a house built of round bricks. He had two big wheels, and one little +one, all over teeth, spinning round and round like the wheels in a +thrashing-machine; and Tom stood and stared at him, to see what he was +going to make with his machinery. And what do you think he was doing? +Brick-making. With his two big wheels he swept together all the mud +which floated in the water: all that was nice in it he put into his +stomach and ate; and all the mud he put into the little wheel on his +breast, which really was a round hole set with teeth; and there he spun +it into a neat hard round brick; and then he took it and stuck it on the +top of his house-wall, and set to work to make another. Now was not he a +clever little fellow? + +Tom thought so: but when he wanted to talk to him the brick-maker was +much too busy and proud of his work to take notice of him. + +Now you must know that all the things under the water talk; only not +such a language as ours; but such as horses, and dogs, and cows, and +birds talk to each other; and Tom soon learned to understand them and +talk to them; so that he might have had very pleasant company if he had +only been a good boy. But I am sorry to say, he was too like some other +little boys, very fond of hunting and tormenting creatures for mere +sport. Some people say that boys cannot help it; that it is nature, and +only a proof that we are all originally descended from beasts of prey. +But whether it is nature or not, little boys can help it, and must help +it. For if they have naughty, low, mischievous tricks in their nature, +as monkeys have, that is no reason why they should give way to those +tricks like monkeys, who know no better. And therefore they must not +torment dumb creatures; for if they do, a certain old lady who is coming +will surely give them exactly what they deserve. + +But Tom did not know that; and he pecked and howked the poor +water-things about sadly, till they were all afraid of him, and got out +of his way, or crept into their shells; so he had no one to speak to or +play with. + +The water-fairies, of course, were very sorry to see him so unhappy, and +longed to take him, and tell him how naughty he was, and teach him to be +good, and to play and romp with him too: but they had been forbidden to +do that. Tom had to learn his lesson for himself by sound and sharp +experience, as many another foolish person has to do, though there may +be many a kind heart yearning over them all the while, and longing to +teach them what they can only teach themselves. + +At last one day he found a caddis, and wanted it to peep out of its +house: but its house-door was shut. He had never seen a caddis with a +house-door before: so what must he do, the meddlesome little fellow, but +pull it open, to see what the poor lady was doing inside. What a shame! +How should you like to have any one breaking your bedroom-door in, to +see how you looked when you were in bed? So Tom broke to pieces the +door, which was the prettiest little grating of silk, stuck all over +with shining bits of crystal; and when he looked in, the caddis poked +out her head, and it had turned into just the shape of a bird's. But +when Tom spoke to her she could not answer; for her mouth and face were +tight tied up in a new night-cap of neat pink skin. However, if she +didn't answer, all the other caddises did; for they held up their hands +and shrieked like the cats in Struwwelpeter: "_Oh, you nasty horrid boy; +there you are at it again! And she had just laid herself up for a +fortnight's sleep, and then she would have come out with such beautiful +wings, and flown about, and laid such lots of eggs: and now you have +broken her door, and she can't mend it because her mouth is tied up for +a fortnight, and she will die. Who sent you here to worry us out of our +lives?_" + +So Tom swam away. He was very much ashamed of himself, and felt all the +naughtier; as little boys do when they have done wrong and won't say so. + +Then he came to a pool full of little trout, and began tormenting them, +and trying to catch them: but they slipped through his fingers, and +jumped clean out of water in their fright. But as Tom chased them, he +came close to a great dark hover under an alder root, and out floushed a +huge old brown trout ten times as big as he was, and ran right against +him, and knocked all the breath out of his body; and I don't know which +was the more frightened of the two. + +Then he went on sulky and lonely, as he deserved to be; and under a +bank he saw a very ugly dirty creature sitting, about half as big as +himself; which had six legs, and a big stomach, and a most ridiculous +head with two great eyes and a face just like a donkey's. + +"Oh," said Tom, "you are an ugly fellow to be sure!" and he began making +faces at him; and put his nose close to him, and halloed at him, like a +very rude boy. + +When, hey presto; all the thing's donkey-face came off in a moment, and +out popped a long arm with a pair of pincers at the end of it, and +caught Tom by the nose. It did not hurt him much; but it held him quite +tight. + +"Yah, ah! Oh, let me go!" cried Tom. + +"Then let me go," said the creature. "I want to be quiet. I want to +split." + +Tom promised to let him alone, and he let go. "Why do you want to +split?" said Tom. + +"Because my brothers and sisters have all split, and turned into +beautiful creatures with wings; and I want to split too. Don't speak to +me. I am sure I shall split. I will split!" + +Tom stood still, and watched him. And he swelled himself, and puffed, +and stretched himself out stiff, and at last--crack, puff, bang--he +opened all down his back, and then up to the top of his head. + +And out of his inside came the most slender, elegant, soft creature, as +soft and smooth as Tom: but very pale and weak, like a little child who +has been ill a long time in a dark room. It moved its legs very feebly; +and looked about it half ashamed, like a girl when she goes for the +first time into a ballroom; and then it began walking slowly up a grass +stem to the top of the water. + +Tom was so astonished that he never said a word: but he stared with all +his eyes. And he went up to the top of the water too, and peeped out to +see what would happen. + +And as the creature sat in the warm bright sun, a wonderful change came +over it. It grew strong and firm; the most lovely colours began to show +on its body, blue and yellow and black, spots and bars and rings; out of +its back rose four great wings of bright brown gauze; and its eyes grew +so large that they filled all its head, and shone like ten thousand +diamonds. + +"Oh, you beautiful creature!" said Tom; and he put out his hand to catch +it. + +But the thing whirred up into the air, and hung poised on its wings a +moment, and then settled down again by Tom quite fearless. + +"No!" it said, "you cannot catch me. I am a dragon-fly now, the king of +all the flies; and I shall dance in the sunshine, and hawk over the +river, and catch gnats, and have a beautiful wife like myself. I know +what I shall do. Hurrah!" And he flew away into the air, and began +catching gnats. + +"Oh! come back, come back," cried Tom, "you beautiful creature. I have +no one to play with, and I am so lonely here. If you will but come back +I will never try to catch you." + +"I don't care whether you do or not," said the dragon-fly; "for you +can't. But when I have had my dinner, and looked a little about this +pretty place, I will come back, and have a little chat about all I have +seen in my travels. Why, what a huge tree this is! and what huge leaves +on it!" + +It was only a big dock: but you know the dragon-fly had never seen any +but little water-trees; starwort, and milfoil, and water-crowfoot, and +such like; so it did look very big to him. Besides, he was very +short-sighted, as all dragon-flies are; and never could see a yard +before his nose; any more than a great many other folks, who are not +half as handsome as he. + +The dragon-fly did come back, and chatted away with Tom. He was a little +conceited about his fine colours and his large wings; but you know, he +had been a poor dirty ugly creature all his life before; so there were +great excuses for him. He was very fond of talking about all the +wonderful things he saw in the trees and the meadows; and Tom liked to +listen to him, for he had forgotten all about them. So in a little while +they became great friends. + +And I am very glad to say, that Tom learned such a lesson that day, that +he did not torment creatures for a long time after. And then the +caddises grew quite tame, and used to tell him strange stories about the +way they built their houses, and changed their skins, and turned at last +into winged flies; till Tom began to long to change his skin, and have +wings like them some day. + +And the trout and he made it up (for trout very soon forget if they have +been frightened and hurt). So Tom used to play with them at hare and +hounds, and great fun they had; and he used to try to leap out of the +water, head over heels, as they did before a shower came on; but somehow +he never could manage it. He liked most, though, to see them rising at +the flies, as they sailed round and round under the shadow of the great +oak, where the beetles fell flop into the water, and the green +caterpillars let themselves down from the boughs by silk ropes for no +reason at all; and then changed their foolish minds for no reason at all +either; and hauled themselves up again into the tree, rolling up the +rope in a ball between their paws; which is a very clever rope-dancer's +trick, and neither Blondin nor Leotard could do it: but why they should +take so much trouble about it no one can tell; for they cannot get their +living, as Blondin and Leotard do, by trying to break their necks on a +string. + +And very often Tom caught them just as they touched the water; and +caught the alder-flies, and the caperers, and the cock-tailed duns and +spinners, yellow, and brown, and claret, and grey, and gave them to his +friends the trout. Perhaps he was not quite kind to the flies; but one +must do a good turn to one's friends when one can. + +And at last he gave up catching even the flies; for he made acquaintance +with one by accident and found him a very merry little fellow. And this +was the way it happened; and it is all quite true. + +He was basking at the top of the water one hot day in July, catching +duns and feeding the trout, when he saw a new sort, a dark grey little +fellow with a brown head. He was a very little fellow indeed: but he +made the most of himself, as people ought to do. He cocked up his head, +and he cocked up his wings, and he cocked up his tail, and he cocked up +the two whisks at his tail-end, and, in short, he looked the cockiest +little man of all little men. And so he proved to be; for instead of +getting away, he hopped upon Tom's finger, and sat there as bold as nine +tailors; and he cried out in the tiniest, shrillest, squeakiest little +voice you ever heard, + +"Much obliged to you, indeed; but I don't want it yet." + +"Want what?" said Tom, quite taken aback by his impudence. + +"Your leg, which you are kind enough to hold out for me to sit on. I +must just go and see after my wife for a few minutes. Dear me! what a +troublesome business a family is!" (though the idle little rogue did +nothing at all, but left his poor wife to lay all the eggs by herself). +"When I come back, I shall be glad of it, if you'll be so good as to +keep it sticking out just so"; and off he flew. + +Tom thought him a very cool sort of personage; and still more so, when, +in five minutes he came back, and said--"Ah, you were tired waiting? +Well, your other leg will do as well." + +And he popped himself down on Tom's knee, and began chatting away in his +squeaking voice. + +"So you live under the water? It's a low place. I lived there for some +time; and was very shabby and dirty. But I didn't choose that that +should last. So I turned respectable, and came up to the top, and put on +this grey suit. It's a very business-like suit, you think, don't you?" + +"Very neat and quiet indeed," said Tom. + +"Yes, one must be quiet and neat and respectable, and all that sort of +thing for a little, when one becomes a family man. But I'm tired of it, +that's the truth. I've done quite enough business, I consider, in the +last week, to last me my life. So I shall put on a ball-dress, and go +out and be a smart man, and see the gay world, and have a dance or two. +Why shouldn't one be jolly if one can?" + +"And what will become of your wife?" + +"Oh! she is a very plain stupid creature, and that's the truth; and +thinks about nothing but eggs. If she chooses to come, why she may; and +if not, why I go without her;--and here I go." + +And, as he spoke, he turned quite pale, and then quite white. + +"Why, you're ill!" said Tom. But he did not answer. + +"You're dead," said Tom, looking at him as he stood on his knee as white +as a ghost. + +"No, I ain't!" answered a little squeaking voice over his head. "This is +me up here, in my ball-dress; and that's my skin. Ha, ha! you could not +do such a trick as that!" + +And no more Tom could, nor Houdin, nor Robin, nor Frikell, nor all the +conjurers in the world. For the little rogue had jumped clean out of his +own skin, and left it standing on Tom's knee, eyes, wings, legs, tail, +exactly as if it had been alive. + +"Ha, ha!" he said, and he jerked and skipped up and down, never stopping +an instant, just as if he had St. Vitus's dance. "Ain't I a pretty +fellow now?" + +And so he was; for his body was white, and his tail orange, and his eyes +all the colours of a peacock's tail. And what was the oddest of all, the +whisks at the end of his tail had grown five times as long as they were +before. + +"Ah!" said he, "now I will see the gay world. My living won't cost me +much, for I have no mouth, you see, and no inside; so I can never be +hungry nor have the stomach-ache neither." + +No more he had. He had grown as dry and hard and empty as a quill, as +such silly shallow-hearted fellows deserve to grow. + +But, instead of being ashamed of his emptiness, he was quite proud of +it, as a good many fine gentlemen are, and began flirting and flipping +up and down, and singing-- + + "_My wife shall dance, and I shall sing, + So merrily pass the day; + For I hold it for quite the wisest thing, + To drive dull care away._" + +And he danced up and down for three days and three nights, till he grew +so tired, that he tumbled into the water, and floated down. But what +became of him Tom never knew, and he himself never minded; for Tom heard +him singing to the last, as he floated down-- + + "_To drive dull care away-ay-ay!_" + +And if he did not care, why nobody else cared either. + +But one day Tom had a new adventure. He was sitting on a water-lily +leaf, he and his friend the dragon-fly, watching the gnats dance. The +dragon-fly had eaten as many as he wanted, and was sitting quite still +and sleepy, for it was very hot and bright. The gnats (who did not care +the least for their poor brothers' death) danced a foot over his head +quite happily, and a large black fly settled within an inch of his nose, +and began washing his own face and combing his hair with his paws: but +the dragon-fly never stirred, and kept on chatting to Tom about the +times when he lived under the water. + +Suddenly, Tom heard the strangest noise up the stream; cooing, and +grunting, and whining, and squeaking, as if you had put into a bag two +stock-doves, nine mice, three guinea-pigs, and a blind puppy, and left +them there to settle themselves and make music. + +He looked up the water, and there he saw a sight as strange as the +noise; a great ball rolling over and over down the stream, seeming one +moment of soft brown fur, and the next of shining glass: and yet it was +not a ball; for sometimes it broke up and streamed away in pieces, and +then it joined again; and all the while the noise came out of it louder +and louder. + +Tom asked the dragon-fly what it could be: but, of course, with his +short sight, he could not even see it, though it was not ten yards away. +So he took the neatest little header into the water, and started off to +see for himself; and, when he came near, the ball turned out to be four +or five beautiful creatures, many times larger than Tom, who were +swimming about, and rolling, and diving, and twisting, and wrestling, +and cuddling, and kissing, and biting, and scratching, in the most +charming fashion that ever was seen. And if you don't believe me, you +may go to the Zoological Gardens (for I am afraid that you won't see it +nearer, unless, perhaps, you get up at five in the morning, and go down +to Cordery's Moor, and watch by the great withy pollard which hangs over +the backwater, where the otters breed sometimes), and then say, if +otters at play in the water are not the merriest, lithest, gracefullest +creatures you ever saw. + +But, when the biggest of them saw Tom, she darted out from the rest, +and cried in the water-language sharply enough, "Quick, children, here +is something to eat, indeed!" and came at poor Tom, showing such a +wicked pair of eyes, and such a set of sharp teeth in a grinning mouth, +that Tom, who had thought her very handsome, said to himself, _Handsome +is that handsome does_, and slipped in between the water-lily roots as +fast as he could, and then turned round and made faces at her. + +"Come out," said the wicked old otter, "or it will be worse for you." + +But Tom looked at her from between two thick roots, and shook them with +all his might, making horrible faces all the while, just as he used to +grin through the railings at the old women, when he lived before. It was +not quite well bred, no doubt; but you know, Tom had not finished his +education yet. + +"Come away, children," said the otter in disgust, "it is not worth +eating, after all. It is only a nasty eft, which nothing eats, not even +those vulgar pike in the pond." + +"I am not an eft!" said Tom; "efts have tails." + +"You are an eft," said the otter, very positively; "I see your two hands +quite plain, and I know you have a tail." + +"I tell you I have not," said Tom. "Look here!" and he turned his pretty +little self quite round; and sure enough, he had no more tail than you. + +The otter might have got out of it by saying that Tom was a frog: but, +like a great many other people, when she had once said a thing, she +stood to it, right or wrong; so she answered: + +"I say you are an eft, and therefore you are, and not fit food for +gentlefolk like me and my children. You may stay there till the salmon +eat you (she knew the salmon would not, but she wanted to frighten poor +Tom). Ha! ha! they will eat you, and we will eat them"; and the otter +laughed such a wicked cruel laugh--as you may hear them do sometimes; +and the first time that you hear it you will probably think it is +bogies. + +"What are salmon?" asked Tom. + +"Fish, you eft, great fish, nice fish to eat. They are the lords of the +fish, and we are lords of the salmon"; and she laughed again. "We hunt +them up and down the pools, and drive them up into a corner, the silly +things; they are so proud, and bully the little trout, and the minnows, +till they see us coming, and then they are so meek all at once; and we +catch them, but we disdain to eat them all; we just bite out their soft +throats and suck their sweet juice--Oh, so good!"--(and she licked her +wicked lips)--"and then throw them away, and go and catch another. They +are coming soon, children, coming soon; I can smell the rain coming up +off the sea, and then hurrah for a fresh, and salmon, and plenty of +eating all day long." + +And the otter grew so proud that she turned head over heels twice, and +then stood upright half out of the water, grinning like a Cheshire cat. + +"And where do they come from?" asked Tom, who kept himself very close, +for he was considerably frightened. + +"Out of the sea, eft, the great wide sea, where they might stay and be +safe if they liked. But out of the sea the silly things come, into the +great river down below, and we come up to watch for them; and when they +go down again we go down and follow them. And there we fish for the bass +and the pollock, and have jolly days along the shore, and toss and roll +in the breakers, and sleep snug in the warm dry crags. Ah, that is a +merry life too, children, if it were not for those horrid men." + +"What are men?" asked Tom; but somehow he seemed to know before he +asked. + +"Two-legged things, eft: and, now I come to look at you, they are +actually something like you, if you had not a tail" (she was determined +that Tom should have a tail), "only a great deal bigger, worse luck for +us; and they catch the fish with hooks and lines, which get into our +feet sometimes, and set pots along the rocks to catch lobsters. They +speared my poor dear husband as he went out to find something for me to +eat. I was laid up among the crags then, and we were very low in the +world, for the sea was so rough that no fish would come in shore. But +they speared him, poor fellow, and I saw them carrying him away upon a +pole. Ah, he lost his life for your sakes, my children, poor dear +obedient creature that he was." + +And the otter grew so sentimental (for otters can be very sentimental +when they choose, like a good many people who are both cruel and greedy, +and no good to anybody at all) that she sailed solemnly away down the +burn, and Tom saw her no more for that time. And lucky it was for her +that she did so; for no sooner was she gone, than down the bank came +seven little rough terrier dogs, snuffing and yapping, and grubbing and +splashing, in full cry after the otter. Tom hid among the water-lilies +till they were gone; for he could not guess that they were the +water-fairies come to help him. + +But he could not help thinking of what the otter had said about the +great river and the broad sea. And, as he thought, he longed to go and +see them. He could not tell why; but the more he thought, the more he +grew discontented with the narrow little stream in which he lived, and +all his companions there; and wanted to get out into the wide wide +world, and enjoy all the wonderful sights of which he was sure it was +full. + +And once he set off to go down the stream. But the stream was very low; +and when he came to the shallows he could not keep under water, for +there was no water left to keep under. So the sun burned his back and +made him sick; and he went back again and lay quiet in the pool for a +whole week more. + +And then, on the evening of a very hot day, he saw a sight. + +He had been very stupid all day, and so had the trout; for they would +not move an inch to take a fly, though there were thousands on the +water, but lay dozing at the bottom under the shade of the stones; and +Tom lay dozing too, and was glad to cuddle their smooth cool sides, for +the water was quite warm and unpleasant. + +But toward evening it grew suddenly dark, and Tom looked up and saw a +blanket of black clouds lying right across the valley above his head, +resting on the crags right and left. He felt not quite frightened, but +very still; for everything was still. There was not a whisper of wind, +nor a chirp of a bird to be heard; and next a few great drops of rain +fell plop into the water, and one hit Tom on the nose, and made him pop +his head down quickly enough. + +And then the thunder roared, and the lightning flashed, and leapt across +Vendale and back again, from cloud to cloud, and cliff to cliff, till +the very rocks in the stream seemed to shake: and Tom looked up at it +through the water, and thought it the finest thing he ever saw in his +life. + +But out of the water he dared not put his head; for the rain came down +by bucketsful, and the hail hammered like shot on the stream, and +churned it into foam; and soon the stream rose, and rushed down, higher +and higher, and fouler and fouler, full of beetles, and sticks; and +straws, and worms, and addle-eggs, and wood-lice, and leeches, and odds +and ends, and omnium-gatherums, and this, that, and the other, enough to +fill nine museums. + +Tom could hardly stand against the stream, and hid behind a rock. But +the trout did not; for out they rushed from among the stones, and began +gobbling the beetles and leeches in the most greedy and quarrelsome way, +and swimming about with great worms hanging out of their mouths, tugging +and kicking to get them away from each other. + +And now, by the flashes of the lightning, Tom saw a new sight--all the +bottom of the stream alive with great eels, turning and twisting along, +all down stream and away. They had been hiding for weeks past in the +cracks of the rocks, and in burrows in the mud; and Tom had hardly ever +seen them, except now and then at night: but now they were all out, and +went hurrying past him so fiercely and wildly that he was quite +frightened. And as they hurried past he could hear them say to each +other, "We must run, we must run. What a jolly thunderstorm! Down to the +sea, down to the sea!" + +And then the otter came by with all her brood, twining and sweeping +along as fast as the eels themselves; and she spied Tom as she came by, +and said: + +"Now is your time, eft, if you want to see the world. Come along, +children, never mind those nasty eels: we shall breakfast on salmon +to-morrow. Down to the sea, down to the sea!" + +Then came a flash brighter than all the rest, and by the light of it--in +the thousandth part of a second they were gone again--but he had seen +them, he was certain of it--Three beautiful little white girls, with +their arms twined round each other's necks, floating down the torrent, +as they sang, "Down to the sea, down to the sea!" + +[Illustration: "From which great trout rushed out on Tom."--_P. 88._] + +"Oh stay! Wait for me!" cried Tom; but they were gone: yet he could hear +their voices clear and sweet through the roar of thunder and water and +wind, singing as they died away, "Down to the sea!" + +"Down to the sea?" said Tom; "everything is going to the sea, and I will +go too. Good-bye, trout." But the trout were so busy gobbling worms that +they never turned to answer him; so that Tom was spared the pain of +bidding them farewell. + +And now, down the rushing stream, guided by the bright flashes of the +storm; past tall birch-fringed rocks, which shone out one moment as +clear as day, and the next were dark as night; past dark hovers under +swirling banks, from which great trout rushed out on Tom, thinking him +to be good to eat, and turned back sulkily, for the fairies sent them +home again with a tremendous scolding, for daring to meddle with a +water-baby; on through narrow strids and roaring cataracts, where Tom +was deafened and blinded for a moment by the rushing waters; along deep +reaches, where the white water-lilies tossed and flapped beneath the +wind and hail; past sleeping villages; under dark bridge-arches, and +away and away to the sea. And Tom could not stop, and did not care to +stop; he would see the great world below, and the salmon, and the +breakers, and the wide wide sea. + +And when the daylight came, Tom found himself out in the salmon river. + +And what sort of a river was it? Was it like an Irish stream, winding +through the brown bogs, where the wild ducks squatter up from among the +white water-lilies, and the curlews flit to and fro, crying +"Tullie-wheep, mind your sheep"; and Dennis tells you strange stories of +the Peishtamore, the great bogy-snake which lies in the black peat +pools, among the old pine-stems, and puts his head out at night to snap +at the cattle as they come down to drink?--But you must not believe all +that Dennis tells you, mind; for if you ask him: + +"Is there a salmon here, do you think, Dennis?" + +"Is it salmon, thin, your honour manes? Salmon? Cartloads it is of thim, +thin, an' ridgmens, shouldthering ache out of water, av' ye'd but the +luck to see thim." + +Then you fish the pool all over, and never get a rise. + +"But there can't be a salmon here, Dennis! and, if you'll but think, if +one had come up last tide, he'd be gone to the higher pools by now." + +"Shure thin, and your honour's the thrue fisherman, and understands it +all like a book. Why, ye spake as if ye'd known the wather a thousand +years! As I said, how could there be a fish here at all, just now?" + +"But you said just now they were shouldering each other out of water?" + +And then Dennis will look up at you with his handsome, sly, soft, +sleepy, good-natured, untrustable, Irish grey eye, and answer with the +prettiest smile: + +"Shure, and didn't I think your honour would like a pleasant answer?" + +So you must not trust Dennis, because he is in the habit of giving +pleasant answers: but, instead of being angry with him, you must +remember that he is a poor Paddy, and knows no better; so you must just +burst out laughing; and then he will burst out laughing too, and slave +for you, and trot about after you, and show you good sport if he +can--for he is an affectionate fellow, and as fond of sport as you +are--and if he can't, tell you fibs instead, a hundred an hour; and +wonder all the while why poor ould Ireland does not prosper like England +and Scotland, and some other places, where folk have taken up a +ridiculous fancy that honesty is the best policy. + +Or was it like a Welsh salmon river, which is remarkable chiefly (at +least, till this last year) for containing no salmon, as they have been +all poached out by the enlightened peasantry, to prevent the _Cythrawl +Sassenach_ (which means you, my little dear, your kith and kin, and +signifies much the same as the Chinese _Fan Quei_) from coming bothering +into Wales, with good tackle, and ready money, and civilisation, and +common honesty, and other like things of which the Cymry stand in no +need whatsoever? + +Or was it such a salmon stream as I trust you will see among the +Hampshire water-meadows before your hairs are grey, under the wise new +fishing-laws?--when Winchester apprentices shall covenant, as they did +three hundred years ago, not to be made to eat salmon more than three +days a week; and fresh-run fish shall be as plentiful under Salisbury +spire as they are in Holly-hole at Christchurch; in the good time +coming, when folks shall see that, of all Heaven's gifts of food, the +one to be protected most carefully is that worthy gentleman salmon, who +is generous enough to go down to the sea weighing five ounces, and to +come back next year weighing five pounds, without having cost the soil +or the state one farthing? + +Or was it like a Scotch stream, such as Arthur Clough drew in his +"Bothie":-- + + _"Where over a ledge of granite + Into a granite bason the amber torrent descended. . . . + Beautiful there for the colour derived from green rocks under; + Beautiful most of all, where beads of foam uprising + Mingle their clouds of white with the delicate hue of the + stillness. . . . + Cliff over cliff for its sides, with rowan and pendant birch + boughs." . . ._ + +Ah, my little man, when you are a big man, and fish such a stream as +that, you will hardly care, I think, whether she be roaring down in full +spate, like coffee covered with scald cream, while the fish are swirling +at your fly as an oar-blade swirls in a boat-race, or flashing up the +cataract like silver arrows, out of the fiercest of the foam; or +whether the fall be dwindled to a single thread, and the shingle below +be as white and dusty as a turnpike road, while the salmon huddle +together in one dark cloud in the clear amber pool, sleeping away their +time till the rain creeps back again off the sea. You will not care +much, if you have eyes and brains; for you will lay down your rod +contentedly, and drink in at your eyes the beauty of that glorious +place; and listen to the water-ouzel piping on the stones, and watch the +yellow roes come down to drink and look up at you with their great soft +trustful eyes, as much as to say, "You could not have the heart to shoot +at us?" And then, if you have sense, you will turn and talk to the great +giant of a gilly who lies basking on the stone beside you. He will tell +you no fibs, my little man; for he is a Scotchman, and fears God, and +not the priest; and, as you talk with him, you will be surprised more +and more at his knowledge, his sense, his humour, his courtesy; and you +will find out--unless you have found it out before--that a man may learn +from his Bible to be a more thorough gentleman than if he had been +brought up in all the drawing-rooms in London. + +No. It was none of these, the salmon stream at Harthover. It was such a +stream as you see in dear old Bewick; Bewick, who was born and bred upon +them. A full hundred yards broad it was, sliding on from broad pool to +broad shallow, and broad shallow to broad pool, over great fields of +shingle, under oak and ash coverts, past low cliffs of sandstone, past +green meadows, and fair parks, and a great house of grey stone, and +brown moors above, and here and there against the sky the smoking +chimney of a colliery. You must look at Bewick to see just what it was +like, for he has drawn it a hundred times with the care and the love of +a true north countryman; and, even if you do not care about the salmon +river, you ought, like all good boys, to know your Bewick. + +At least, so old Sir John used to say, and very sensibly he put it too, +as he was wont to do: + +"If they want to describe a finished young gentleman in France, I hear, +they say of him, '_Il sait son Rabelais._' But if I want to describe one +in England, I say, '_He knows his Bewick._' And I think that is the +higher compliment." + +But Tom thought nothing about what the river was like. All his fancy +was, to get down to the wide wide sea. + +And after a while he came to a place where the river spread out into +broad still shallow reaches, so wide that little Tom, as he put his head +out of the water, could hardly see across. + +And there he stopped. He got a little frightened. "This must be the +sea," he thought. "What a wide place it is! If I go on into it I shall +surely lose my way, or some strange thing will bite me. I will stop here +and look out for the otter, or the eels, or some one to tell me where I +shall go." + +So he went back a little way, and crept into a crack of the rock, just +where the river opened out into the wide shallows, and watched for some +one to tell him his way: but the otter and the eels were gone on miles +and miles down the stream. + +There he waited, and slept too, for he was quite tired with his night's +journey; and, when he woke, the stream was clearing to a beautiful amber +hue, though it was still very high. And after a while he saw a sight +which made him jump up; for he knew in a moment it was one of the things +which he had come to look for. + +Such a fish! ten times as big as the biggest trout, and a hundred times +as big as Tom, sculling up the stream past him, as easily as Tom had +sculled down. + +Such a fish! shining silver from head to tail, and here and there a +crimson dot; with a grand hooked nose and grand curling lip, and a grand +bright eye, looking round him as proudly as a king, and surveying the +water right and left as if all belonged to him. Surely he must be the +salmon, the king of all the fish. + +Tom was so frightened that he longed to creep into a hole; but he need +not have been; for salmon are all true gentlemen, and, like true +gentlemen, they look noble and proud enough, and yet, like true +gentlemen, they never harm or quarrel with any one, but go about their +own business, and leave rude fellows to themselves. + +The salmon looked at him full in the face, and then went on without +minding him, with a swish or two of his tail which made the stream boil +again. And in a few minutes came another, and then four or five, and so +on; and all passed Tom, rushing and plunging up the cataract with strong +strokes of their silver tails, now and then leaping clean out of water +and up over a rock, shining gloriously for a moment in the bright sun; +while Tom was so delighted that he could have watched them all day long. + +And at last one came up bigger than all the rest; but he came slowly, +and stopped, and looked back, and seemed very anxious and busy. And Tom +saw that he was helping another salmon, an especially handsome one, who +had not a single spot upon it, but was clothed in pure silver from nose +to tail. + +"My dear," said the great fish to his companion, "you really look +dreadfully tired, and you must not over-exert yourself at first. Do rest +yourself behind this rock"; and he shoved her gently with his nose, to +the rock where Tom sat. + +You must know that this was the salmon's wife. For salmon, like other +true gentlemen, always choose their lady, and love her, and are true to +her, and take care of her and work for her, and fight for her, as every +true gentleman ought; and are not like vulgar chub and roach and pike, +who have no high feelings, and take no care of their wives. + +Then he saw Tom, and looked at him very fiercely one moment, as if he +was going to bite him. + +"What do you want here?" he said, very fiercely. + +"Oh, don't hurt me!" cried Tom. "I only want to look at you; you are so +handsome." + +"Ah?" said the salmon, very stately but very civilly. "I really beg your +pardon; I see what you are, my little dear. I have met one or two +creatures like you before, and found them very agreeable and +well-behaved. Indeed, one of them showed me a great kindness lately, +which I hope to be able to repay. I hope we shall not be in your way +here. As soon as this lady is rested, we shall proceed on our journey." + +What a well-bred old salmon he was! + +"So you have seen things like me before?" asked Tom. + +"Several times, my dear. Indeed, it was only last night that one at the +river's mouth came and warned me and my wife of some new stake-nets +which had got into the stream, I cannot tell how, since last winter, and +showed us the way round them, in the most charmingly obliging way." + +"So there are babies in the sea?" cried Tom, and clapped his little +hands. "Then I shall have some one to play with there? How delightful!" + +"Were there no babies up this stream?" asked the lady salmon. + +"No! and I grew so lonely. I thought I saw three last night; but they +were gone in an instant, down to the sea. So I went too; for I had +nothing to play with but caddises and dragon-flies and trout." + +"Ugh!" cried the lady, "what low company!" + +"My dear, if he has been in low company, he has certainly not learnt +their low manners," said the salmon. + +"No, indeed, poor little dear: but how sad for him to live among such +people as caddises, who have actually six legs, the nasty things; and +dragon-flies, too! why they are not even good to eat; for I tried them +once, and they are all hard and empty; and, as for trout, every one +knows what they are." Whereon she curled up her lip, and looked +dreadfully scornful, while her husband curled up his too, till he looked +as proud as Alcibiades. + +"Why do you dislike the trout so?" asked Tom. + +"My dear, we do not even mention them, if we can help it; for I am sorry +to say they are relations of ours who do us no credit. A great many +years ago they were just like us: but they were so lazy, and cowardly, +and greedy, that instead of going down to the sea every year to see the +world and grow strong and fat, they chose to stay and poke about in the +little streams and eat worms and grubs; and they are very properly +punished for it; for they have grown ugly and brown and spotted and +small; and are actually so degraded in their tastes, that they will eat +our children." + +"And then they pretend to scrape acquaintance with us again," said the +lady. "Why, I have actually known one of them propose to a lady salmon, +the little impudent little creature." + +"I should hope," said the gentleman, "that there are very few ladies of +our race who would degrade themselves by listening to such a creature +for an instant. If I saw such a thing happen, I should consider it my +duty to put them both to death upon the spot." So the old salmon said, +like an old blue-blooded hidalgo of Spain; and what is more, he would +have done it too. For you must know, no enemies are so bitter against +each other as those who are of the same race; and a salmon looks on a +trout, as some great folks look on some little folks, as something just +too much like himself to be tolerated. + + "Sweet is the lore which Nature brings; + Our meddling intellect + Mis-shapes the beauteous forms of things + We murder to dissect. + + "Enough of science and of art: + Close up these barren leaves; + Come forth, and bring with you a heart + That watches and receives." + + WORDSWORTH. + + + + + +CHAPTER IV + + +[Illustration: "He watched the moonlight on the rippling river." _P. +101._] + +SO the salmon went up, after Tom had warned them of the wicked old +otter; and Tom went down, but slowly and cautiously, coasting along the +shore. He was many days about it, for it was many miles down to the sea; +and perhaps he would never have found his way, if the fairies had not +guided him, without his seeing their fair faces, or feeling their gentle +hands. + +And, as he went, he had a very strange adventure. It was a clear still +September night, and the moon shone so brightly down through the water, +that he could not sleep, though he shut his eyes as tight as possible. +So at last he came up to the top, and sat upon a little point of rock, +and looked up at the broad yellow moon, and wondered what she was, and +thought that she looked at him. And he watched the moonlight on the +rippling river, and the black heads of the firs, and the silver-frosted +lawns, and listened to the owl's hoot, and the snipe's bleat, and the +fox's bark, and the otter's laugh; and smelt the soft perfume of the +birches, and the wafts of heather honey off the grouse moor far above; +and felt very happy, though he could not well tell why. You, of course, +would have been very cold sitting there on a September night, without +the least bit of clothes on your wet back; but Tom was a water-baby, and +therefore felt cold no more than a fish. + +Suddenly, he saw a beautiful sight. A bright red light moved along the +river-side, and threw down into the water a long tap-root of flame. Tom, +curious little rogue that he was, must needs go and see what it was; so +he swam to the shore, and met the light as it stopped over a shallow run +at the edge of a low rock. + +And there, underneath the light, lay five or six great salmon, looking +up at the flame with their great goggle eyes, and wagging their tails, +as if they were very much pleased at it. + +Tom came to the top, to look at this wonderful light nearer, and made a +splash. + +And he heard a voice say: + +"There was a fish rose." + +He did not know what the words meant: but he seemed to know the sound of +them, and to know the voice which spoke them; and he saw on the bank +three great two-legged creatures, one of whom held the light, flaring +and sputtering, and another a long pole. And he knew that they were men, +and was frightened, and crept into a hole in the rock, from which he +could see what went on. + +The man with the torch bent down over the water, and looked earnestly +in; and then he said: + +"Tak' that muckle fellow, lad; he's ower fifteen punds; and haud your +hand steady." + +Tom felt that there was some danger coming, and longed to warn the +foolish salmon, who kept staring up at the light as if he was bewitched. +But before he could make up his mind, down came the pole through the +water; there was a fearful splash and struggle, and Tom saw that the +poor salmon was speared right through, and was lifted out of the water. + +And then, from behind, there sprang on these three men three other men; +and there were shouts, and blows, and words which Tom recollected to +have heard before; and he shuddered and turned sick at them now, for he +felt somehow that they were strange, and ugly, and wrong, and horrible. +And it all began to come back to him. They were men; and they were +fighting; savage, desperate, up-and-down fighting, such as Tom had seen +too many times before. + +And he stopped his little ears, and longed to swim away; and was very +glad that he was a water-baby, and had nothing to do any more with +horrid dirty men, with foul clothes on their backs, and foul words on +their lips; but he dared not stir out of his hole: while the rock shook +over his head with the trampling and struggling of the keepers and the +poachers. + +All of a sudden there was a tremendous splash, and a frightful flash, +and a hissing, and all was still. + +For into the water, close to Tom, fell one of the men; he who held the +light in his hand. Into the swift river he sank, and rolled over and +over in the current. Tom heard the men above run along, seemingly +looking for him; but he drifted down into the deep hole below, and there +lay quite still, and they could not find him. + +Tom waited a long time, till all was quiet; and then he peeped out, and +saw the man lying. At last he screwed up his courage and swam down to +him. "Perhaps," he thought, "the water has made him fall asleep, as it +did me." + +Then he went nearer. He grew more and more curious, he could not tell +why. He must go and look at him. He would go very quietly, of course; so +he swam round and round him, closer and closer; and, as he did not stir, +at last he came quite close and looked him in the face. + +The moon shone so bright that Tom could see every feature; and, as he +saw, he recollected, bit by bit, it was his old master, Grimes. + +Tom turned tail, and swam away as fast as he could. + +"Oh dear me!" he thought, "now he will turn into a water-baby. What a +nasty troublesome one he will be! And perhaps he will find me out, and +beat me again." + +So he went up the river again a little way, and lay there the rest of +the night under an alder root; but, when morning came, he longed to go +down again to the big pool, and see whether Mr. Grimes had turned into a +water-baby yet. + +So he went very carefully, peeping round all the rocks, and hiding under +all the roots. Mr. Grimes lay there still; he had not turned into a +water-baby. In the afternoon Tom went back again. He could not rest +till he had found out what had become of Mr. Grimes. But this time Mr. +Grimes was gone; and Tom made up his mind that he was turned into a +water-baby. + +He might have made himself easy, poor little man; Mr. Grimes did not +turn into a water-baby, or anything like one at all. But he did not make +himself easy; and a long time he was fearful lest he should meet Grimes +suddenly in some deep pool. He could not know that the fairies had +carried him away, and put him, where they put everything which falls +into the water, exactly where it ought to be. But, do you know, what had +happened to Mr. Grimes had such an effect on him that he never poached +salmon any more. And it is quite certain that, when a man becomes a +confirmed poacher, the only way to cure him is to put him under water +for twenty-four hours, like Grimes. So when you grow to be a big man, do +you behave as all honest fellows should; and never touch a fish or a +head of game which belongs to another man without his express leave; and +then people will call you a gentleman, and treat you like one; and +perhaps give you good sport: instead of hitting you into the river, or +calling you a poaching snob. + +Then Tom went on down, for he was afraid of staying near Grimes: and as +he went, all the vale looked sad. The red and yellow leaves showered +down into the river; the flies and beetles were all dead and gone; the +chill autumn fog lay low upon the hills, and sometimes spread itself so +thickly on the river that he could not see his way. But he felt his way +instead, following the flow of the stream, day after day, past great +bridges, past boats and barges, past the great town, with its wharfs, +and mills, and tall smoking chimneys, and ships which rode at anchor in +the stream; and now and then he ran against their hawsers, and wondered +what they were, and peeped out, and saw the sailors lounging on board +smoking their pipes; and ducked under again, for he was terribly afraid +of being caught by man and turned into a chimney-sweep once more. He did +not know that the fairies were close to him always, shutting the +sailors' eyes lest they should see him, and turning him aside from +millraces, and sewer-mouths, and all foul and dangerous things. Poor +little fellow, it was a dreary journey for him; and more than once he +longed to be back in Vendale, playing with the trout in the bright +summer sun. But it could not be. What has been once can never come over +again. And people can be little babies, even water-babies, only once in +their lives. + +Besides, people who make up their minds to go and see the world, as Tom +did, must needs find it a weary journey. Lucky for them if they do not +lose heart and stop half-way, instead of going on bravely to the end as +Tom did. For then they will remain neither boys nor men, neither fish, +flesh, nor good red-herring: having learnt a great deal too much, and +yet not enough; and sown their wild oats, without having the advantage +of reaping them. + +But Tom was always a brave, determined, little English bull-dog, who +never knew when he was beaten; and on and on he held, till he saw a +long way off the red buoy through the fog. And then he found to his +surprise, the stream turned round, and running up inland. + +It was the tide, of course: but Tom knew nothing of the tide. He only +knew that in a minute more the water, which had been fresh, turned salt +all round him. And then there came a change over him. He felt as strong, +and light, and fresh, as if his veins had run champagne; and gave, he +did not know why, three skips out of the water, a yard high, and head +over heels, just as the salmon do when they first touch the noble rich +salt water, which, as some wise men tell us, is the mother of all living +things. + +He did not care now for the tide being against him. The red buoy was in +sight, dancing in the open sea; and to the buoy he would go, and to it +he went. He passed great shoals of bass and mullet, leaping and rushing +in after the shrimps, but he never heeded them, or they him; and once he +passed a great black shining seal, who was coming in after the mullet. +The seal put his head and shoulders out of water, and stared at him, +looking exactly like a fat old greasy negro with a grey pate. And Tom, +instead of being frightened, said, "How d'ye do, sir; what a beautiful +place the sea is!" And the old seal, instead of trying to bite him, +looked at him with his soft sleepy winking eyes, and said, "Good tide to +you, my little man; are you looking for your brothers and sisters? I +passed them all at play outside." + +"Oh, then," said Tom, "I shall have playfellows at last," and he swam on +to the buoy, and got upon it (for he was quite out of breath) and sat +there, and looked round for water-babies: but there were none to be +seen. + +The sea-breeze came in freshly with the tide and blew the fog away; and +the little waves danced for joy around the buoy, and the old buoy danced +with them. The shadows of the clouds ran races over the bright blue bay, +and yet never caught each other up; and the breakers plunged merrily +upon the wide white sands, and jumped up over the rocks, to see what the +green fields inside were like, and tumbled down and broke themselves all +to pieces, and never minded it a bit, but mended themselves and jumped +up again. And the terns hovered over Tom like huge white dragon-flies +with black heads, and the gulls laughed like girls at play, and the +sea-pies, with their red bills and legs, flew to and fro from shore to +shore, and whistled sweet and wild. And Tom looked and looked, and +listened; and he would have been very happy, if he could only have seen +the water-babies. Then when the tide turned, he left the buoy, and swam +round and round in search of them: but in vain. Sometimes he thought he +heard them laughing: but it was only the laughter of the ripples. And +sometimes he thought he saw them at the bottom: but it was only white +and pink shells. And once he was sure he had found one, for he saw two +bright eyes peeping out of the sand. So he dived down, and began +scraping the sand away, and cried, "Don't hide; I do want some one to +play with so much!" And out jumped a great turbot with his ugly eyes and +mouth all awry, and flopped away along the bottom, knocking poor Tom +over. And he sat down at the bottom of the sea, and cried salt tears +from sheer disappointment. + +To have come all this way, and faced so many dangers, and yet to find no +water-babies! How hard! Well, it did seem hard: but people, even little +babies, cannot have all they want without waiting for it, and working +for it too, my little man, as you will find out some day. + +And Tom sat upon the buoy long days, long weeks, looking out to sea, and +wondering when the water-babies would come back; and yet they never +came. + +Then he began to ask all the strange things which came in out of the sea +if they had seen any; and some said "Yes," and some said nothing at all. + +He asked the bass and the pollock; but they were so greedy after the +shrimps that they did not care to answer him a word. + +Then there came in a whole fleet of purple sea-snails, floating along, +each on a sponge full of foam, and Tom said, "Where do you come from, +you pretty creatures? and have you seen the water-babies?" + +And the sea-snails answered, "Whence we come we know not; and whither we +are going, who can tell? We float out our life in the mid-ocean, with +the warm sunshine above our heads, and the warm gulf-stream below; and +that is enough for us. Yes; perhaps we have seen the water-babies. We +have seen many strange things as we sailed along." And they floated +away, the happy stupid things, and all went ashore upon the sands. + +Then there came in a great lazy sunfish, as big as a fat pig cut in +half; and he seemed to have been cut in half too, and squeezed in a +clothes-press till he was flat; but to all his big body and big fins he +had only a little rabbit's mouth, no bigger than Tom's; and, when Tom +questioned him, he answered in a little squeaky feeble voice: + +"I'm sure I don't know; I've lost my way. I meant to go to the +Chesapeake, and I'm afraid I've got wrong somehow. Dear me! it was all +by following that pleasant warm water. I'm sure I've lost my way." + +And, when Tom asked him again, he could only answer, "I've lost my way. +Don't talk to me; I want to think." + +But, like a good many other people, the more he tried to think the less +he could think; and Tom saw him blundering about all day, till the +coastguardsmen saw his big fin above the water, and rowed out, and +struck a boat-hook into him, and took him away. They took him up to the +town and showed him for a penny a head, and made a good day's work of +it. But of course Tom did not know that. + +Then there came by a shoal of porpoises, rolling as they went--papas, +and mammas, and little children--and all quite smooth and shiny, +because the fairies French-polish them every morning; and they sighed +so softly as they came by, that Tom took courage to speak to them: but +all they answered was, "Hush, hush, hush"; for that was all they had +learnt to say. + +And then there came a shoal of basking sharks, some of them as long as a +boat, and Tom was frightened at them. But they were very lazy +good-natured fellows, not greedy tyrants, like white sharks and blue +sharks and ground sharks and hammer-heads, who eat men, or saw-fish and +threshers and ice-sharks, who hunt the poor old whales. They came and +rubbed their great sides against the buoy, and lay basking in the sun +with their back-fins out of water; and winked at Tom: but he never could +get them to speak. They had eaten so many herrings that they were quite +stupid; and Tom was glad when a collier brig came by and frightened them +all away; for they did smell most horribly, certainly, and he had to +hold his nose tight as long as they were there. + +And then there came by a beautiful creature, like a ribbon of pure +silver with a sharp head and very long teeth; but it seemed very sick +and sad. Sometimes it rolled helpless on its side; and then it dashed +away glittering like white fire; and then it lay sick again and +motionless. + +"Where do you come from?" asked Tom. "And why are _you_ so sick and +sad?" + +"I come from the warm Carolinas, and the sandbanks fringed with pines; +where the great owl-rays leap and flap, like giant bats, upon the tide. +But I wandered north and north, upon the treacherous warm gulf-stream, +till I met with the cold icebergs, afloat in the mid ocean. So I got +tangled among the icebergs, and chilled with their frozen breath. But +the water-babies helped me from among them, and set me free again. And +now I am mending every day; but I am very sick and sad; and perhaps I +shall never get home again to play with the owl-rays any more." + +"Oh!" cried Tom. "And you have seen water-babies? Have you seen any near +here?" + +"Yes; they helped me again last night, or I should have been eaten by a +great black porpoise." + +How vexatious! The water-babies close to him, and yet he could not find +one. + +And then he left the buoy, and used to go along the sands and round the +rocks, and come out in the night--like the forsaken Merman in Mr. +Arnold's beautiful, beautiful poem, which you must learn by heart some +day--and sit upon a point of rock, among the shining seaweeds, in the +low October tides, and cry and call for the water-babies; but he never +heard a voice call in return. And at last, with his fretting and crying, +he grew quite lean and thin. + +But one day among the rocks he found a playfellow. It was not a +water-baby, alas! but it was a lobster; and a very distinguished lobster +he was; for he had live barnacles on his claws, which is a great mark of +distinction in lobsterdom, and no more to be bought for money than a +good conscience or the Victoria Cross. + +[Illustration: "Tom had never seen a lobster before."--_P. 113._] + +Tom had never seen a lobster before; and he was mightily taken with this +one; for he thought him the most curious, odd, ridiculous creature he +had ever seen; and there he was not far wrong; for all the ingenious +men, and all the scientific men, and all the fanciful men, in the world, +with all the old German bogy-painters into the bargain, could never +invent, if all their wits were boiled into one, anything so curious, and +so ridiculous, as a lobster. + +He had one claw knobbed and the other jagged; and Tom delighted in +watching him hold on to the seaweed with his knobbed claw, while he cut +up salads with his jagged one, and then put them into his mouth, after +smelling at them, like a monkey. And always the little barnacles threw +out their casting-nets and swept the water, and came in for their share +of whatever there was for dinner. + +But Tom was most astonished to see how he fired himself off--snap! like +the leap-frogs which you make out of a goose's breast-bone. Certainly he +took the most wonderful shots, and backwards, too. For, if he wanted to +go into a narrow crack ten yards off, what do you think he did? If he +had gone in head foremost, of course he could not have turned round. So +he used to turn his tail to it, and lay his long horns, which carry his +sixth sense in their tips (and nobody knows what that sixth sense is), +straight down his back to guide him, and twist his eyes back till they +almost came out of their sockets, and then made ready, present, fire, +snap!--and away he went, pop into the hole; and peeped out and twiddled +his whiskers, as much as to say, "You couldn't do that." + +Tom asked him about water-babies. "Yes," he said. He had seen them +often. But he did not think much of them. They were meddlesome little +creatures, that went about helping fish and shells which got into +scrapes. Well, for his part, he should be ashamed to be helped by little +soft creatures that had not even a shell on their backs. He had lived +quite long enough in the world to take care of himself. + +He was a conceited fellow, the old lobster, and not very civil to Tom; +and you will hear how he had to alter his mind before he was done, as +conceited people generally have. But he was so funny, and Tom so lonely, +that he could not quarrel with him; and they used to sit in holes in the +rocks, and chat for hours. + +And about this time there happened to Tom a very strange and important +adventure--so important, indeed, that he was very near never finding the +water-babies at all; and I am sure you would have been sorry for that. + +I hope that you have not forgotten the little white lady all this while. +At least, here she comes, looking like a clean white good little +darling, as she always was, and always will be. For it befell in the +pleasant short December days, when the wind always blows from the +south-west, till Old Father Christmas comes and spreads the great white +table-cloth, ready for little boys and girls to give the birds their +Christmas dinner of crumbs--it befell (to go on) in the pleasant +December days, that Sir John was so busy hunting that nobody at home +could get a word out of him. Four days a week he hunted, and very good +sport he had; and the other two he went to the bench and the board of +guardians, and very good justice he did; and, when he got home in time, +he dined at five; for he hated this absurd new fashion of dining at +eight in the hunting season, which forces a man to make interest with +the footman for cold beef and beer as soon as he comes in, and so spoil +his appetite, and then sleep in an arm-chair in his bedroom, all stiff +and tired, for two or three hours before he can get his dinner like a +gentleman. And do you be like Sir John, my dear little man, when you are +your own master; and, if you want either to read hard or ride hard, +stick to the good old Cambridge hours of breakfast at eight and dinner +at five; by which you may get two days' work out of one. But, of course, +if you find a fox at three in the afternoon and run him till dark, and +leave off twenty miles from home, why you must wait for your dinner till +you can get it, as better men than you have done. Only see that, if you +go hungry, your horse does not; but give him his warm gruel and beer, +and take him gently home, remembering that good horses don't grow on the +hedge like blackberries. + +It befell (to go on a second time) that Sir John, hunting all day, and +dining at five, fell asleep every evening, and snored so terribly that +all the windows in Harthover shook, and the soot fell down the +chimneys. Whereon My Lady, being no more able to get conversation out of +him than a song out of a dead nightingale, determined to go off and +leave him, and the doctor, and Captain Swinger the agent, to snore in +concert every evening to their hearts' content. So she started for the +seaside with all the children, in order to put herself and them into +condition by mild applications of iodine. She might as well have stayed +at home and used Parry's liquid horse-blister, for there was plenty of +it in the stables; and then she would have saved her money, and saved +the chance, also, of making all the children ill instead of well (as +hundreds are made), by taking them to some nasty smelling undrained +lodging, and then wondering how they caught scarlatina and diphtheria: +but people won't be wise enough to understand that till they are dead of +bad smells, and then it will be too late; besides you see, Sir John did +certainly snore very loud. + +But where she went to nobody must know, for fear young ladies should +begin to fancy that there are water-babies there! and so hunt and howk +after them (besides raising the price of lodgings), and keep them in +aquariums, as the ladies at Pompeii (as you may see by the paintings) +used to keep Cupids in cages. But nobody ever heard that they starved +the Cupids, or let them die of dirt and neglect, as English young ladies +do by the poor sea-beasts. So nobody must know where My Lady went. +Letting water-babies die is as bad as taking singing birds' eggs; for, +though there are thousands, ay, millions, of both of them in the world, +yet there is not one too many. + +Now it befell that, on the very shore, and over the very rocks, where +Tom was sitting with his friend the lobster, there walked one day the +little white lady, Ellie herself, and with her a very wise man +indeed--Professor Ptthmllnsprts. + +His mother was a Dutchwoman, and therefore he was born at Curacao (of +course you have learnt your geography, and therefore know why); and his +father a Pole, and therefore he was brought up at Petropaulowski (of +course you have learnt your modern politics, and therefore know why): +but for all that he was as thorough an Englishman as ever coveted his +neighbour's goods. And his name, as I said, was Professor Ptthmllnsprts, +which is a very ancient and noble Polish name. + +He was, as I said, a very great naturalist, and chief professor of +_Necrobioneopalaeonthydrochthonanthropopithekology_ in the new university +which the king of the Cannibal Islands had founded; and, being a member +of the Acclimatisation Society, he had come here to collect all the +nasty things which he could find on the coast of England, and turn them +loose round the Cannibal Islands, because they had not nasty things +enough there to eat what they left. + +But he was a very worthy kind good-natured little old gentleman; and +very fond of children (for he was not the least a cannibal himself); and +very good to all the world as long as it was good to him. Only one +fault he had, which cock-robins have likewise, as you may see if you +look out of the nursery window--that, when any one else found a curious +worm, he would hop round them, and peck them, and set up his tail, and +bristle up his feathers, just as a cock-robin would; and declare that he +found the worm first; and that it was his worm; and, if not, that then +it was not a worm at all. + +He had met Sir John at Scarborough, or Fleetwood, or somewhere or other +(if you don't care where, nobody else does), and had made acquaintance +with him, and become very fond of his children. Now, Sir John knew +nothing about sea-cockyolybirds, and cared less, provided the fishmonger +sent him good fish for dinner; and My Lady knew as little: but she +thought it proper that the children should know something. For in the +stupid old times, you must understand, children were taught to know one +thing, and to know it well; but in these enlightened new times they are +taught to know a little about everything, and to know it all ill; which +is a great deal pleasanter and easier, and therefore quite right. + +So Ellie and he were walking on the rocks, and he was showing her about +one in ten thousand of all the beautiful and curious things which are to +be seen there. But little Ellie was not satisfied with them at all. She +liked much better to play with live children, or even with dolls, which +she could pretend were alive; and at last she said honestly, "I don't +care about all these things, because they can't play with me, or talk +to me. If there were little children now in the water, as there used to +be, and I could see them, I should like that." + +"Children in the water, you strange little duck?" said the professor. + +"Yes," said Ellie. "I know there used to be children in the water, and +mermaids too, and mermen. I saw them all in a picture at home, of a +beautiful lady sailing in a car drawn by dolphins, and babies flying +round her, and one sitting in her lap; and the mermaids swimming and +playing, and the mermen trumpeting on conch-shells; and it is called +'The Triumph of Galatea'; and there is a burning mountain in the picture +behind. It hangs on the great staircase, and I have looked at it ever +since I was a baby, and dreamt about it a hundred times; and it is so +beautiful, that it must be true." + +But the professor had not the least notion of allowing that things were +true, merely because people thought them beautiful. For at that rate, he +said, the Baltas would be quite right in thinking it a fine thing to eat +their grandpapas, because they thought it an ugly thing to put them +underground. The professor, indeed, went further, and held that no man +was forced to believe anything to be true, but what he could see, hear, +taste, or handle. + +He held very strange theories about a good many things. He had even got +up once at the British Association, and declared that apes had +hippopotamus majors in their brains just as men have. Which was a +shocking thing to say; for, if it were so, what would become of the +faith, hope, and charity of immortal millions? You may think that there +are other more important differences between you and an ape, such as +being able to speak, and make machines, and know right from wrong, and +say your prayers, and other little matters of that kind; but that is a +child's fancy, my dear. Nothing is to be depended on but the great +hippopotamus test. If you have a hippopotamus major in your brain, you +are no ape, though you had four hands, no feet, and were more apish than +the apes of all aperies. But if a hippopotamus major is ever discovered +in one single ape's brain, nothing will save your great-great-great-great- +great-great-great-great-great-great-great-greater-greatest-grandmother +from having been an ape too. No, my dear little man; always remember +that the one true, certain, final, and all-important difference between +you and an ape is, that you have a hippopotamus major in your brain, and +it has none; and that, therefore, to discover one in its brain will be a +very wrong and dangerous thing, at which every one will be very much +shocked, as we may suppose they were at the professor.--Though really, +after all, it don't much matter; because--as Lord Dundreary and others +would put it--nobody but men have hippopotamuses in their brains; so, if +a hippopotamus was discovered in an ape's brain, why it would not be +one, you know, but something else. + +But the professor had gone, I am sorry to say, even further than +that; for he had read at the British Association at Melbourne, +Australia, in the year 1999, a paper which assured every one who found +himself the better or wiser for the news, that there were not, never +had been, and could not be, any rational or half-rational beings +except men, anywhere, anywhen, or anyhow; that _nymphs_, _satyrs_, +_fauns_, _inui_, _dwarfs_, _trolls_, _elves_, _gnomes_, _fairies_, +_brownies_, _nixes_, _wilis_, _kobolds_, _leprechaunes_, _cluricaunes_, +_banshees_, _will-o'-the-wisps_, _follets_, _lutins_, _magots_, _goblins_, +_afrits_, _marids_, _jinns_, _ghouls_, _peris_, _deevs_, _angels_, +_archangels_, _imps_, _bogies_, or worse, were nothing at all, and pure +bosh and wind. And he had to get up very early in the morning to prove +that, and to eat his breakfast overnight; but he did it, at least to his +own satisfaction. Whereon a certain great divine, and a very clever +divine was he, called him a regular Sadducee; and probably he was quite +right. Whereon the professor, in return, called him a regular Pharisee; +and probably he was quite right too. But they did not quarrel in the +least; for, when men are men of the world, hard words run off them like +water off a duck's back. So the professor and the divine met at dinner +that evening, and sat together on the sofa afterwards for an hour, and +talked over the state of female labour on the antarctic continent (for +nobody talks shop after his claret), and each vowed that the other was +the best company he ever met in his life. What an advantage it is to be +men of the world! + +From all which you may guess that the professor was not the least of +little Ellie's opinion. So he gave her a succinct compendium of his +famous paper at the British Association, in a form suited for the +youthful mind. But, as we have gone over his arguments against +water-babies once already, which is once too often, we will not repeat +them here. + +Now little Ellie was, I suppose, a stupid little girl; for, instead of +being convinced by Professor Ptthmllnsprts' arguments, she only asked +the same question over again. + +"But why are there not water-babies?" + +I trust and hope that it was because the professor trod at that moment +on the edge of a very sharp mussel, and hurt one of his corns sadly, +that he answered quite sharply, forgetting that he was a scientific man, +and therefore ought to have known that he couldn't know; and that he was +a logician, and therefore ought to have known that he could not prove a +universal negative--I say, I trust and hope it was because the mussel +hurt his corn, that the professor answered quite sharply: + +"Because there ain't." + +Which was not even good English, my dear little boy; for, as you must +know from Aunt Agitate's Arguments, the professor ought to have said, if +he was so angry as to say anything of the kind--Because there are not: +or are none: or are none of them; or (if he had been reading Aunt +Agitate too) because they do not exist. + +And he groped with his net under the weeds so violently, that, as it +befell, he caught poor little Tom. + +He felt the net very heavy; and lifted it out quickly, with Tom all +entangled in the meshes. + +"Dear me!" he cried. "What a large pink Holothurian; with hands, too! It +must be connected with Synapta." + +And he took him out. + +"It has actually eyes!" he cried. "Why, it must be a Cephalopod! This is +most extraordinary!" + +"No, I ain't!" cried Tom, as loud as he could; for he did not like to be +called bad names. + +"It is a water-baby!" cried Ellie; and of course it was. + +"Water-fiddlesticks, my dear!" said the professor; and he turned away +sharply. + +There was no denying it. It was a water-baby: and he had said a moment +ago that there were none. What was he to do? + +He would have liked, of course, to have taken Tom home in a bucket. He +would not have put him in spirits. Of course not. He would have kept him +alive, and petted him (for he was a very kind old gentleman), and +written a book about him, and given him two long names, of which the +first would have said a little about Tom, and the second all about +himself; for of course he would have called him Hydrotecnon +Ptthmllnsprtsianum, or some other long name like that; for they are +forced to call everything by long names now, because they have used up +all the short ones, ever since they took to making nine species out of +one. But--what would all the learned men say to him after his speech at +the British Association? And what would Ellie say, after what he had +just told her? + +There was a wise old heathen once, who said, "Maxima debetur pueris +reverentia"--The greatest reverence is due to children; that is, that +grown people should never say or do anything wrong before children, lest +they should set them a bad example.--Cousin Cramchild says it means, +"The greatest respectfulness is expected from little boys." But he was +raised in a country where little boys are not expected to be respectful, +because all of them are as good as the President:--Well, every one knows +his own concerns best; so perhaps they are. But poor Cousin Cramchild, +to do him justice, not being of that opinion, and having a moral +mission, and being no scholar to speak of, and hard up for an +authority--why, it was a very great temptation for him. But some people, +and I am afraid the professor was one of them, interpret that in a more +strange, curious, one-sided, left-handed, topsy-turvy, inside-out, +behind-before fashion than even Cousin Cramchild; for they make it mean, +that you must show your respect for children, by never confessing +yourself in the wrong to them, even if you know that you are so, lest +they should lose confidence in their elders. + +Now, if the professor had said to Ellie, "Yes, my darling, it is a +water-baby, and a very wonderful thing it is; and it shows how little I +know of the wonders of nature, in spite of forty years' honest labour. I +was just telling you that there could be no such creatures; and, +behold! here is one come to confound my conceit and show me that Nature +can do, and has done, beyond all that man's poor fancy can imagine. So, +let us thank the Maker, and Inspirer, and Lord of Nature for all His +wonderful and glorious works, and try and find out something about this +one";--I think that, if the professor had said that, little Ellie would +have believed him more firmly, and respected him more deeply, and loved +him better, than ever she had done before. But he was of a different +opinion. He hesitated a moment. He longed to keep Tom, and yet he half +wished he never had caught him; and at last he quite longed to get rid +of him. So he turned away and poked Tom with his finger, for want of +anything better to do; and said carelessly, "My dear little maid, you +must have dreamt of water-babies last night, your head is so full of +them." + +Now Tom had been in the most horrible and unspeakable fright all the +while; and had kept as quiet as he could, though he was called a +Holothurian and a Cephalopod; for it was fixed in his little head that +if a man with clothes on caught him, he might put clothes on him too, +and make a dirty black chimney-sweep of him again. But, when the +professor poked him, it was more than he could bear; and, between fright +and rage, he turned to bay as valiantly as a mouse in a corner, and bit +the professor's finger till it bled. + +"Oh! ah! yah!" cried he; and glad of an excuse to be rid of Tom, dropped +him on to the seaweed, and thence he dived into the water and was gone +in a moment. + +[Illustration: "The fairies came flying in at the window and brought her +such a pretty pair of wings."--_P. 126._] + +"But it was a water-baby, and I heard it speak!" cried Ellie. "Ah, it is +gone!" And she jumped down off the rock to try and catch Tom before he +slipped into the sea. + +Too late! and what was worse, as she sprang down, she slipped, and fell +some six feet, with her head on a sharp rock, and lay quite still. + +The professor picked her up, and tried to waken her, and called to her, +and cried over her, for he loved her very much: but she would not waken +at all. So he took her up in his arms and carried her to her governess, +and they all went home; and little Ellie was put to bed, and lay there +quite still; only now and then she woke up and called out about the +water-baby: but no one knew what she meant, and the professor did not +tell, for he was ashamed to tell. + +And, after a week, one moonlight night, the fairies came flying in at +the window and brought her such a pretty pair of wings that she could +not help putting them on; and she flew with them out of the window, and +over the land, and over the sea, and up through the clouds, and nobody +heard or saw anything of her for a very long while. + +And this is why they say that no one has ever yet seen a water-baby. For +my part, I believe that the naturalists get dozens of them when they are +out dredging; but they say nothing about them, and throw them overboard +again, for fear of spoiling their theories. But, you see the +professor was found out, as every one is in due time. A very terrible +old fairy found the professor out; she felt his bumps, and cast his +nativity, and took the lunars of him carefully inside and out; and so +she knew what he would do as well as if she had seen it in a print book, +as they say in the dear old west country; and he did it; and so he was +found out beforehand, as everybody always is; and the old fairy will +find out the naturalists some day, and put them in the _Times_, and then +on whose side will the laugh be? + +So the old fairy took him in hand very severely there and then. But she +says she is always most severe with the best people, because there is +most chance of curing them, and therefore they are the patients who pay +her best; for she has to work on the same salary as the Emperor of +China's physicians (it is a pity that all do not), no cure, no pay. + +So she took the poor professor in hand: and because he was not content +with things as they are, she filled his head with things as they are +not, to try if he would like them better; and because he did not choose +to believe in a water-baby when he saw it, she made him believe in worse +things than water-babies--in _unicorns_, _fire-drakes_, _manticoras_, +_basilisks_, _amphisbaenas_, _griffins_, _ph[oe]nixes_, _rocs_, _orcs_, +_dog-headed men_, _three-headed dogs_, _three-bodied geryons_, and other +pleasant creatures, which folks think never existed yet, and which folks +hope never will exist, though they know nothing about the matter, and +never will; and these creatures so upset, terrified, flustered, +aggravated, confused, astounded, horrified, and totally flabbergasted +the poor professor that the doctors said that he was out of his wits for +three months; and perhaps they were right, as they are now and then. + +So all the doctors in the county were called in to make a report on his +case; and of course every one of them flatly contradicted the other: +else what use is there in being men of science? But at last the majority +agreed on a report in the true medical language, one half bad Latin, the +other half worse Greek, and the rest what might have been English, if +they had only learnt to write it. And this is the beginning thereof-- + +"_The subanhypaposupernal anastomoses of peritomic diacellurite in the +encephalo digital region of the distinguished individual of whose +symptomatic ph[oe]nomena we had the melancholy honour (subsequently to a +preliminary diagnostic inspection) of making an inspectorial diagnosis, +presenting the interexclusively quadrilateral and antinomian diathesis +known as Bumpsterhausen's blue follicles, we proceeded_"-- + +But what they proceeded to do My Lady never knew; for she was so +frightened at the long words that she ran for her life, and locked +herself into her bedroom, for fear of being squashed by the words and +strangled by the sentence. A boa constrictor, she said, was bad company +enough: but what was a boa constrictor made of paving stones? + +"It was quite shocking! What can they think is the matter with him?" +said she to the old nurse. + +"That his wit's just addled; may be wi' unbelief and heathenry," quoth +she. + +"Then why can't they say so?" + +And the heaven, and the sea, and the rocks, and the vales +re-echoed--"Why indeed?" But the doctors never heard them. + +So she made Sir John write to the _Times_ to command the Chancellor of +the Exchequer for the time being to put a tax on long words;-- + +A light tax on words over three syllables, which are necessary evils, +like rats: but, like them, must be kept down judiciously. + +A heavy tax on words over four syllables, as _heterodoxy_, +_spontaneity_, _spiritualism_, _spuriosity_, _etc._ + +And on words over five syllables (of which I hope no one will wish to +see any examples), a totally prohibitory tax. + +And a similar prohibitory tax on words derived from three or more +languages at once; words derived from two languages having become so +common that there was no more hope of rooting out them than of rooting +out peth-winds. + +The Chancellor of the Exchequer, being a scholar and a man of sense, +jumped at the notion; for he saw in it the one and only plan for +abolishing Schedule D: but when he brought in his bill, most of the +Irish members, and (I am sorry to say) some of the Scotch likewise, +opposed it most strongly, on the ground that in a free country no man +was bound either to understand himself or to let others understand him. +So the bill fell through on the first reading; and the Chancellor, +being a philosopher, comforted himself with the thought that it was not +the first time that a woman had hit off a grand idea and the men turned +up their stupid noses thereat. + +Now the doctors had it all their own way; and to work they went in +earnest, and they gave the poor professor divers and sundry medicines, +as prescribed by the ancients and moderns, from Hippocrates to +Feuchtersleben, as below, viz.-- + + 1. _Hellebore, to wit_-- + _Hellebore of AEta._ + _Hellebore of Galatia._ + _Hellebore of Sicily._ + _And all other Hellebores, after the method of the + Helleborising Helleborists of the Helleboric era. + But that would not do. Bumpsterhausen's blue follicles + would not stir an inch out of his encephalo digital + region._ + + 2. _Trying to find out what was the matter with him, after the + method of_ + _Hippocrates_, + _Aretaeus_, + _Celsus_, + _C[oe]lius Aurelianus_, + _And Galen_. + +But they found that a great deal too much trouble, as most people have +since; and so had recourse to-- + + 3. _Borage._ + _Cauteries._ + +Boring a hole in his head to let out fumes, which (says Gordonius) +"will, without doubt, do much good." But it didn't. + + _Bezoar stone._ + _Diamargaritum._ + _A ram's brain boiled in spice._ + _Oil of wormwood._ + _Water of Nile._ + _Capers._ + _Good wine (but there was none to be got)._ + _The water of a smith's forge._ + _Hops._ + _Ambergris._ + _Mandrake pillows._ + _Dormouse fat._ + _Hares' ears._ + _Starvation._ + _Camphor._ + _Salts and senna._ + _Musk._ + _Opium._ + _Strait-waistcoats._ + _Bullyings._ + _Bumpings._ + _Blisterings._ + _Bleedings._ + _Bucketings with cold water._ + _Knockings down._ + _Kneeling on his chest till they broke it in, + etc. etc.; after the mediaeval or monkish + method: but that would not do. Bumpsterhausen's + blue follicles stuck there still._ + +Then-- + + 4. _Coaxing._ + _Kissing._ + _Champagne and turtle._ + _Red herrings and soda water._ + _Good advice._ + _Gardening._ + _Croquet._ + _Musical soirees._ + _Aunt Sally._ + _Mild tobacco._ + _The Saturday Review._ + _A carriage with outriders, etc. etc._ + +After the modern method. But that would not do. + +And if he had but been a convict lunatic, and had shot at the Queen, +killed all his creditors to avoid paying them, or indulged in any other +little amiable eccentricity of that kind, they would have given him in +addition-- + +The healthiest situation in England, on Easthampstead Plain. + +Free run of Windsor Forest. + +The _Times_ every morning. + +A double-barrelled gun and pointers, and leave to shoot three Wellington +College boys a week (not more) in case black game was scarce. + +But as he was neither mad enough nor bad enough to be allowed such +luxuries, they grew desperate, and fell into bad ways, viz.-- + + 5. _Suffumigations of sulphur._ + _Herrwiggius his "Incomparable drink for madmen"_: + +Only they could not find out what it was. + + _Suffumigation of the liver of the fish * * *_ + +Only they had forgotten its name, so Dr. Gray could not well procure +them a specimen. + + _Metallic tractors._ + _Holloway's Ointment._ + _Electro-biology._ + _Valentine Greatrakes his Stroking Cure._ + _Spirit-rapping._ + _Holloway's Pills._ + _Table-turning._ + _Morison's Pills._ + _Hom[oe]opathy._ + _Parr's Life Pills._ + _Mesmerism._ + _Pure Bosh._ + _Exorcisms, for which they read Maleus Maleficarum, Nideri + Formicarium, Delrio, Wierus, etc._ + +But could not get one that mentioned water-babies. + + _Hydropathy._ + _Madame Rachel's Elixir of Youth._ + _The Poughkeepsie Seer his Prophecies._ + _The distilled liquor of addle eggs._ + _Pyropathy._ + +As successfully employed by the old inquisitors to cure the malady of +thought, and now by the Persian Mollahs to cure that of rheumatism. + + _Geopathy, or burying him._ + _Atmopathy, or steaming him._ + _Sympathy, after the method of Basil Valentine his Triumph + of Antimony, and Kenelm Digby his Weapon-salve, which some + call a hair of the dog that bit him._ + _Hermopathy, or pouring mercury down his throat to move the + animal spirits._ + _Meteoropathy, or going up to the moon to look for his lost + wits, as Ruggiero did for Orlando Furioso's: only, having + no hippogriff, they were forced to use a balloon; and, + falling into the North Sea, were picked up by a Yarmouth + herring-boat, and came home much the wiser, and all over + scales._ + _Antipathy, or using him like "a man and a brother."_ + _Apathy, or doing nothing at all._ + _With all other ipathies and opathies which Noodle has invented, + and Foodle tried, since black-fellows chipped flints at + Abbeville--which is a considerable time ago, to judge by + the Great Exhibition._ + +But nothing would do; for he screamed and cried all day for a +water-baby, to come and drive away the monsters; and of course they did +not try to find one, because they did not believe in them, and were +thinking of nothing but Bumpsterhausen's blue follicles; having, as +usual, set the cart before the horse, and taken the effect for the +cause. + +So they were forced at last to let the poor professor ease his mind by +writing a great book, exactly contrary to all his old opinions; in which +he proved that the moon was made of green cheese, and that all the mites +in it (which you may see sometimes quite plain through a telescope, if +you will only keep the lens dirty enough, as Mr. Weekes kept his voltaic +battery) are nothing in the world but little babies, who are hatching +and swarming up there in millions, ready to come down into this world +whenever children want a new little brother or sister. + +Which must be a mistake, for this one reason: that, there being no +atmosphere round the moon (though some one or other says there is, at +least on the other side, and that he has been round at the back of it to +see, and found that the moon was just the shape of a Bath bun, and so +wet that the man in the moon went about on Midsummer-day in Macintoshes +and Cording's boots, spearing eels and sneezing); that, therefore, I +say, there being no atmosphere, there can be no evaporation; and +therefore, the dew-point can never fall below 71.5 deg. below zero of +Fahrenheit: and, therefore, it cannot be cold enough there about four +o'clock in the morning to condense the babies' mesenteric apophthegms +into their left ventricles; and, therefore, they can never catch the +hooping-cough; and if they do not have hooping-cough, they cannot be +babies at all; and, therefore, there are no babies in the moon.--Q.E.D. + +Which may seem a roundabout reason; and so, perhaps, it is: but you will +have heard worse ones in your time, and from better men than you are. + +But one thing is certain; that, when the good old doctor got his book +written, he felt considerably relieved from Bumpsterhausen's blue +follicles, and a few things infinitely worse; to wit, from pride and +vain-glory, and from blindness and hardness of heart; which are the true +causes of Bumpsterhausen's blue follicles, and of a good many other ugly +things besides. Whereon the foul flood-water in his brains ran down, and +cleared to a fine coffee colour, such as fish like to rise in, till very +fine clean fresh-run fish did begin to rise in his brains; and he caught +two or three of them (which is exceedingly fine sport, for brain +rivers), and anatomised them carefully, and never mentioned what he +found out from them, except to little children; and became ever after a +sadder and a wiser man; which is a very good thing to become, my dear +little boy, even though one has to pay a heavy price for the blessing. + + "Stern Lawgiver! yet thou dost wear + The Godhead's most benignant grace; + Nor know we anything so fair + As is the smile upon thy face: + Flowers laugh before thee on their beds + And fragrance in thy footing treads; + Thou dost preserve the stars from wrong; + And the most ancient heavens, through Thee, are fresh and strong." + + WORDSWORTH, _Ode to Duty_. + + + + + +CHAPTER V + + +BUT what became of little Tom? + +He slipped away off the rocks into the water, as I said before. But he +could not help thinking of little Ellie. He did not remember who she +was; but he knew that she was a little girl, though she was a hundred +times as big as he. That is not surprising: size has nothing to do with +kindred. A tiny weed may be first cousin to a great tree; and a little +dog like Vick knows that Lioness is a dog too, though she is twenty +times larger than herself. So Tom knew that Ellie was a little girl, and +thought about her all that day, and longed to have had her to play with; +but he had very soon to think of something else. And here is the account +of what happened to him, as it was published next morning in the +Waterproof Gazette, on the finest watered paper, for the use of the +great fairy, Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid, who reads the news very carefully +every morning, and especially the police cases, as you will hear very +soon. + +He was going along the rocks in three-fathom water, watching the pollock +catch prawns, and the wrasses nibble barnacles off the rocks, shells and +all, when he saw a round cage of green withes; and inside it, looking +very much ashamed of himself, sat his friend the lobster, twiddling his +horns, instead of thumbs. + +"What, have you been naughty, and have they put you in the lock-up?" +asked Tom. + +The lobster felt a little indignant at such a notion, but he was too +much depressed in spirits to argue; so he only said, "I can't get out." + +"Why did you get in?" + +"After that nasty piece of dead fish." He had thought it looked and +smelt very nice when he was outside, and so it did, for a lobster: but +now he turned round and abused it because he was angry with himself. + +"Where did you get in?" + +"Through that round hole at the top." + +"Then why don't you get out through it?" + +"Because I can't": and the lobster twiddled his horns more fiercely than +ever, but he was forced to confess. + +"I have jumped upwards, downwards, backwards, and sideways, at least +four thousand times; and I can't get out: I always get up underneath +there, and can't find the hole." + +Tom looked at the trap, and having more wit than the lobster, he saw +plainly enough what was the matter; as you may if you will look at a +lobster-pot. + +"Stop a bit," said Tom. "Turn your tail up to me, and I'll pull you +through hindforemost, and then you won't stick in the spikes." + +But the lobster was so stupid and clumsy that he couldn't hit the hole. +Like a great many fox-hunters, he was very sharp as long as he was in +his own country; but as soon as they get out of it they lose their +heads; and so the lobster, so to speak, lost his tail. + +Tom reached and clawed down the hole after him, till he caught hold of +him; and then, as was to be expected, the clumsy lobster pulled him in +head foremost. + +"Hullo! here is a pretty business," said Tom. "Now take your great +claws, and break the points off those spikes, and then we shall both get +out easily." + +"Dear me, I never thought of that," said the lobster; "and after all the +experience of life that I have had!" + +You see, experience is of very little good unless a man, or a lobster, +has wit enough to make use of it. For a good many people, like old +Polonius, have seen all the world, and yet remain little better than +children after all. + +But they had not got half the spikes away when they saw a great dark +cloud over them: and lo, and behold, it was the otter. + +How she did grin and grin when she saw Tom. "Yar!" said she, "you little +meddlesome wretch, I have you now! I will serve you out for telling the +salmon where I was!" And she crawled all over the pot to get in. + +Tom was horribly frightened, and still more frightened when she found +the hole in the top, and squeezed herself right down through it, all +eyes and teeth. But no sooner was her head inside than valiant Mr. +Lobster caught her by the nose and held on. + +And there they were all three in the pot, rolling over and over, and +very tight packing it was. And the lobster tore at the otter, and the +otter tore at the lobster, and both squeezed and thumped poor Tom till +he had no breath left in his body; and I don't know what would have +happened to him if he had not at last got on the otter's back, and safe +out of the hole. + +He was right glad when he got out: but he would not desert his friend +who had saved him; and the first time he saw his tail uppermost he +caught hold of it, and pulled with all his might. + +But the lobster would not let go. + +"Come along," said Tom; "don't you see she is dead?" And so she was, +quite drowned and dead. + +And that was the end of the wicked otter. + +But the lobster would not let go. + +"Come along, you stupid old stick-in-the-mud," cried Tom, "or the +fisherman will catch you!" And that was true, for Tom felt some one +above beginning to haul up the pot. + +But the lobster would not let go. + +Tom saw the fisherman haul him up to the boat-side, and thought it was +all up with him. But when Mr. Lobster saw the fisherman, he gave such a +furious and tremendous snap, that he snapped out of his hand, and out of +the pot, and safe into the sea. But he left his knobbed claw behind +him; for it never came into his stupid head to let go after all, so he +just shook his claw off as the easier method. It was something of a +bull, that; but you must know the lobster was an Irish lobster, and was +hatched off Island Magee at the mouth of Belfast Lough. + +Tom asked the lobster why he never thought of letting go. He said very +determinedly that it was a point of honour among lobsters. And so it is, +as the Mayor of Plymouth found out once to his cost--eight or nine +hundred years ago, of course; for if it had happened lately it would be +personal to mention it. + +For one day he was so tired with sitting on a hard chair, in a grand +furred gown, with a gold chain round his neck, hearing one policeman +after another come in and sing, "What shall we do with the drunken +sailor, so early in the morning?" and answering them each exactly alike: + +"Put him in the round house till he gets sober, so early in the +morning"-- + +That, when it was over, he jumped up, and played leap-frog with the +town-clerk till he burst his buttons, and then had his luncheon, and +burst some more buttons, and then said: "It is a low spring-tide; I +shall go out this afternoon and cut my capers." + +Now he did not mean to cut such capers as you eat with boiled mutton. It +was the commandant of artillery at Valetta who used to amuse himself +with cutting them, and who stuck upon one of the bastions a notice, "No +one allowed to cut capers here but me," which greatly edified the +midshipmen in port, and the Maltese on the Nix Mangiare stairs. But all +that the mayor meant was that he would go and have an afternoon's fun, +like any schoolboy, and catch lobsters with an iron hook. + +So to the Mewstone he went, and for lobsters he looked. And when he came +to a certain crack in the rocks he was so excited that, instead of +putting in his hook, he put in his hand; and Mr. Lobster was at home, +and caught him by the finger, and held on. + +"Yah!" said the mayor, and pulled as hard as he dared: but the more he +pulled, the more the lobster pinched, till he was forced to be quiet. + +Then he tried to get his hook in with his other hand; but the hole was +too narrow. + +Then he pulled again; but he could not stand the pain. + +Then he shouted and bawled for help: but there was no one nearer him +than the men-of-war inside the breakwater. + +Then he began to turn a little pale; for the tide flowed, and still the +lobster held on. + +Then he turned quite white; for the tide was up to his knees, and still +the lobster held on. + +Then he thought of cutting off his finger; but he wanted two things to +do it with--courage and a knife; and he had got neither. + +Then he turned quite yellow; for the tide was up to his waist, and still +the lobster held on. + +Then he thought over all the naughty things he ever had done; all the +sand which he had put in the sugar, and the sloe-leaves in the tea, and +the water in the treacle, and the salt in the tobacco (because his +brother was a brewer, and a man must help his own kin). + +Then he turned quite blue; for the tide was up to his breast, and still +the lobster held on. + +Then, I have no doubt, he repented fully of all the said naughty things +which he had done, and promised to mend his life, as too many do when +they think they have no life left to mend. Whereby, as they fancy, they +make a very cheap bargain. But the old fairy with the birch rod soon +undeceives them. + +And then he grew all colours at once, and turned up his eyes like a duck +in thunder; for the water was up to his chin, and still the lobster held +on. + +And then came a man-of-war's boat round the Mewstone, and saw his head +sticking up out of the water. One said it was a keg of brandy, and +another that it was a cocoa-nut, and another that it was a buoy loose, +and another that it was a black diver, and wanted to fire at it, which +would not have been pleasant for the mayor: but just then such a yell +came out of a great hole in the middle of it that the midshipman in +charge guessed what it was, and bade pull up to it as fast as they +could. So somehow or other the Jack-tars got the lobster out, and set +the mayor free, and put him ashore at the Barbican. He never went +lobster-catching again; and we will hope he put no more salt in the +tobacco, not even to sell his brother's beer. + +[Illustration: "A real live water-baby sitting on the white sand."--_P. +146_.] + +And that is the story of the Mayor of Plymouth, which has two +advantages--first, that of being quite true; and second, that of having +(as folks say all good stories ought to have) no moral whatsoever: no +more, indeed, has any part of this book, because it is a fairy tale, you +know. + +And now happened to Tom a most wonderful thing; for he had not left the +lobster five minutes before he came upon a water-baby. + +A real live water-baby, sitting on the white sand, very busy about a +little point of rock. And when it saw Tom it looked up for a moment, and +then cried, "Why, you are not one of us. You are a new baby! Oh, how +delightful!" + +And it ran to Tom, and Tom ran to it, and they hugged and kissed each +other for ever so long, they did not know why. But they did not want any +introductions there under the water. + +At last Tom said, "Oh, where have you been all this while? I have been +looking for you so long, and I have been so lonely." + +"We have been here for days and days. There are hundreds of us about the +rocks. How was it you did not see us, or hear us when we sing and romp +every evening before we go home?" + +Tom looked at the baby again, and then he said: + +"Well, this is wonderful! I have seen things just like you again and +again, but I thought you were shells, or sea-creatures. I never took you +for water-babies like myself." + +Now, was not that very odd? So odd, indeed, that you will, no doubt, +want to know how it happened, and why Tom could never find a water-baby +till after he had got the lobster out of the pot. And, if you will read +this story nine times over, and then think for yourself, you will find +out why. It is not good for little boys to be told everything, and never +to be forced to use their own wits. They would learn, then, no more than +they do at Dr. Dulcimer's famous suburban establishment for the idler +members of the youthful aristocracy, where the masters learn the lessons +and the boys hear them--which saves a great deal of trouble--for the +time being. + +"Now," said the baby, "come and help me, or I shall not have finished +before my brothers and sisters come, and it is time to go home." + +"What shall I help you at?" + +"At this poor dear little rock; a great clumsy boulder came rolling by +in the last storm, and knocked all its head off, and rubbed off all its +flowers. And now I must plant it again with seaweeds, and coralline, and +anemones, and I will make it the prettiest little rock-garden on all the +shore." + +So they worked away at the rock, and planted it, and smoothed the sand +down round it, and capital fun they had till the tide began to turn. And +then Tom heard all the other babies coming, laughing and singing and +shouting and romping; and the noise they made was just like the noise of +the ripple. So he knew that he had been hearing and seeing the +water-babies all along; only he did not know them, because his eyes and +ears were not opened. + +And in they came, dozens and dozens of them, some bigger than Tom and +some smaller, all in the neatest little white bathing dresses; and when +they found that he was a new baby, they hugged him and kissed him, and +then put him in the middle and danced round him on the sand, and there +was no one ever so happy as poor little Tom. + +"Now then," they cried all at once, "we must come away home, we must +come away home, or the tide will leave us dry. We have mended all the +broken seaweed, and put all the rock-pools in order, and planted all the +shells again in the sand, and nobody will see where the ugly storm swept +in last week." + +And this is the reason why the rock-pools are always so neat and clean; +because the water-babies come inshore after every storm to sweep them +out, and comb them down, and put them all to rights again. + +Only where men are wasteful and dirty, and let sewers run into the sea +instead of putting the stuff upon the fields like thrifty reasonable +souls; or throw herrings' heads and dead dog-fish, or any other refuse, +into the water; or in any way make a mess upon the clean shore--there +the water-babies will not come, sometimes not for hundreds of years (for +they cannot abide anything smelly or foul), but leave the sea-anemones +and the crabs to clear away everything, till the good tidy sea has +covered up all the dirt in soft mud and clean sand, where the +water-babies can plant live cockles and whelks and razor-shells and +sea-cucumbers and golden-combs, and make a pretty live garden again, +after man's dirt is cleared away. And that, I suppose, is the reason why +there are no water-babies at any watering-place which I have ever seen. + +And where is the home of the water-babies? In St. Brandan's fairy isle. + +Did you never hear of the blessed St. Brandan, how he preached to the +wild Irish on the wild, wild Kerry coast, he and five other hermits, +till they were weary and longed to rest? For the wild Irish would not +listen to them, or come to confession and to mass, but liked better to +brew potheen, and dance the pater o'pee, and knock each other over the +head with shillelaghs, and shoot each other from behind turf-dykes, and +steal each other's cattle, and burn each other's homes; till St. Brandan +and his friends were weary of them, for they would not learn to be +peaceable Christians at all. + +So St. Brandan went out to the point of Old Dunmore, and looked over the +tide-way roaring round the Blasquets, at the end of all the world, and +away into the ocean, and sighed--"Ah that I had wings as a dove!" And +far away, before the setting sun, he saw a blue fairy sea, and golden +fairy islands, and he said, "Those are the islands of the blest." Then +he and his friends got into a hooker, and sailed away and away to the +westward, and were never heard of more. But the people who would not +hear him were changed into gorillas, and gorillas they are until this +day. + +And when St. Brandan and the hermits came to that fairy isle they found +it overgrown with cedars and full of beautiful birds; and he sat down +under the cedars and preached to all the birds in the air. And they +liked his sermons so well that they told the fishes in the sea; and they +came, and St. Brandan preached to them; and the fishes told the +water-babies, who live in the caves under the isle; and they came up by +hundreds every Sunday, and St. Brandan got quite a neat little +Sunday-school. And there he taught the water-babies for a great many +hundred years, till his eyes grew too dim to see, and his beard grew so +long that he dared not walk for fear of treading on it, and then he +might have tumbled down. And at last he and the five hermits fell fast +asleep under the cedar-shades, and there they sleep unto this day. But +the fairies took to the water-babies, and taught them their lessons +themselves. + +And some say that St. Brandan will awake and begin to teach the babies +once more: but some think that he will sleep on, for better for worse, +till the coming of the Cocqcigrues. But, on still clear summer evenings, +when the sun sinks down into the sea, among golden cloud-capes and +cloud-islands, and locks and friths of azure sky, the sailors fancy that +they see, away to westward, St. Brandan's fairy isle. + +[Illustration: "Tom found that the isle stood all on pillars, and that +its roots were full of caves."--_P. 151_.] + +But whether men can see it or not, St. Brandan's Isle once actually +stood there; a great land out in the ocean, which has sunk and sunk +beneath the waves. Old Plato called it Atlantis, and told strange +tales of the wise men who lived therein, and of the wars they fought in +the old times. And from off that island came strange flowers, which +linger still about this land:--the Cornish heath, and Cornish moneywort, +and the delicate Venus's hair, and the London-pride which covers the +Kerry mountains, and the little pink butterwort of Devon, and the great +blue butterwort of Ireland, and the Connemara heath, and the +bristle-fern of the Turk waterfall, and many a strange plant more; all +fairy tokens left for wise men and good children from off St. Brandan's +Isle. + +Now when Tom got there, he found that the isle stood all on pillars, and +that its roots were full of caves. There were pillars of black basalt, +like Staffa; and pillars of green and crimson serpentine, like Kynance; +and pillars ribboned with red and white and yellow sandstone, like +Livermead; and there were blue grottoes like Capri, and white grottoes +like Adelsberg; all curtained and draped with seaweeds, purple and +crimson, green and brown; and strewn with soft white sand, on which the +water-babies sleep every night. But, to keep the place clean and sweet, +the crabs picked up all the scraps off the floor and ate them like so +many monkeys; while the rocks were covered with ten thousand +sea-anemones, and corals and madrepores, who scavenged the water all day +long, and kept it nice and pure. But, to make up to them for having to +do such nasty work, they were not left black and dirty, as poor +chimney-sweeps and dustmen are. No; the fairies are more considerate and +just than that, and have dressed them all in the most beautiful colours +and patterns, till they look like vast flower-beds of gay blossoms. If +you think I am talking nonsense, I can only say that it is true; and +that an old gentleman named Fourier used to say that we ought to do the +same by chimney-sweeps and dustmen, and honour them instead of despising +them; and he was a very clever old gentleman: but, unfortunately for him +and the world, as mad as a March hare. + +And, instead of watchmen and policemen to keep out nasty things at +night, there were thousands and thousands of water-snakes, and most +wonderful creatures they were. They were all named after the Nereids, +the sea-fairies who took care of them, Eunice and Polynoe, Phyllodoce +and Psamathe, and all the rest of the pretty darlings who swim round +their Queen Amphitrite, and her car of cameo shell. They were dressed in +green velvet, and black velvet, and purple velvet; and were all jointed +in rings; and some of them had three hundred brains apiece, so that they +must have been uncommonly shrewd detectives; and some had eyes in their +tails; and some had eyes in every joint, so that they kept a very sharp +look-out; and when they wanted a baby-snake, they just grew one at the +end of their own tails, and when it was able to take care of itself it +dropped off; so that they brought up their families very cheaply. But if +any nasty thing came by, out they rushed upon it; and then out of each +of their hundreds of feet there sprang a whole cutler's shop of + + _Scythes_, _Javelins_, + _Billhooks_, _Lances_, + _Pickaxes_, _Halberts_, + _Forks_, _Gisarines_, + _Penknives_, _Poleaxes_, + _Rapiers_, _Fishhooks_, + _Sabres_, _Bradawls_, + _Yataghans_, _Gimblets_, + _Creeses_, _Corkscrews_, + _Ghoorka swords_, _Pins_, + _Tucks_, _Needles_, + _And so forth_, + +which stabbed, shot, poked, pricked, scratched, ripped, pinked, and +crimped those naughty beasts so terribly that they had to run for their +lives, or else be chopped into small pieces and be eaten afterwards. +And, if that is not all, every word, true, then there is no faith in +microscopes, and all is over with the Linnaean Society. + +And there were the water-babies in thousands, more than Tom, or you +either, could count.--All the little children whom the good fairies take +to, because their cruel mothers and fathers will not; all who are +untaught and brought up heathens, and all who come to grief by ill-usage +or ignorance or neglect; all the little children who are overlaid, or +given gin when they are young, or are let to drink out of hot kettles, +or to fall into the fire; all the little children in alleys and courts, +and tumble-down cottages, who die by fever, and cholera, and measles, +and scarlatina, and nasty complaints which no one has any business to +have, and which no one will have some day, when folks have common sense; +and all the little children who have been killed by cruel masters and +wicked soldiers; they were all there, except, of course, the babes of +Bethlehem who were killed by wicked King Herod; for they were taken +straight to heaven long ago, as everybody knows, and we call them the +Holy Innocents. + +But I wish Tom had given up all his naughty tricks, and left off +tormenting dumb animals now that he had plenty of playfellows to amuse +him. Instead of that, I am sorry to say, he would meddle with the +creatures, all but the water-snakes, for they would stand no nonsense. +So he tickled the madrepores, to make them shut up; and frightened the +crabs, to make them hide in the sand and peep out at him with the tips +of their eyes; and put stones into the anemones' mouths, to make them +fancy that their dinner was coming. + +The other children warned him, and said, "Take care what you are at. +Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid is coming." But Tom never heeded them, being quite +riotous with high spirits and good luck, till, one Friday morning early, +Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid came indeed. + +A very tremendous lady she was; and when the children saw her they all +stood in a row, very upright indeed, and smoothed down their bathing +dresses, and put their hands behind them, just as if they were going to +be examined by the inspector. + +And she had on a black bonnet, and a black shawl, and no crinoline at +all; and a pair of large green spectacles, and a great hooked nose, +hooked so much that the bridge of it stood quite up above her eyebrows; +and under her arm she carried a great birch-rod. Indeed, she was so ugly +that Tom was tempted to make faces at her: but did not; for he did not +admire the look of the birch-rod under her arm. + +And she looked at the children one by one, and seemed very much +pleased with them, though she never asked them one question about +how they were behaving; and then began giving them all sorts of nice +sea-things--sea-cakes, sea-apples, sea-oranges, sea-bullseyes, +sea-toffee; and to the very best of all she gave sea-ices, made out of +sea-cows' cream, which never melt under water. + +And, if you don't quite believe me, then just think--What is more cheap +and plentiful than sea-rock? Then why should there not be sea-toffee as +well? And every one can find sea-lemons (ready quartered too) if they +will look for them at low tide; and sea-grapes too sometimes, hanging in +bunches; and, if you will go to Nice, you will find the fish-market full +of sea-fruit, which they call "frutta di mare": though I suppose they +call them "fruits de mer" now, out of compliment to that most +successful, and therefore most immaculate, potentate who is seemingly +desirous of inheriting the blessing pronounced on those who remove their +neighbours' land-mark. And, perhaps, that is the very reason why the +place is called Nice, because there are so many nice things in the sea +there: at least, if it is not, it ought to be. + +Now little Tom watched all these sweet things given away, till his mouth +watered, and his eyes grew as round as an owl's. For he hoped that his +turn would come at last; and so it did. For the lady called him up, and +held out her fingers with something in them, and popped it into his +mouth; and, lo and behold, it was a nasty cold hard pebble. + +"You are a very cruel woman," said he, and began to whimper. + +"And you are a very cruel boy; who puts pebbles into the sea-anemones' +mouths, to take them in, and make them fancy that they had caught a good +dinner! As you did to them, so I must do to you." + +"Who told you that?" said Tom. + +"You did yourself, this very minute." + +Tom had never opened his lips; so he was very much taken aback indeed. + +"Yes; every one tells me exactly what they have done wrong; and that +without knowing it themselves. So there is no use trying to hide +anything from me. Now go, and be a good boy, and I will put no more +pebbles in your mouth, if you put none in other creatures'." + +"I did not know there was any harm in it," said Tom. + +"Then you know now. People continually say that to me: but I tell them, +if you don't know that fire burns, that is no reason that it should not +burn you; and if you don't know that dirt breeds fever, that is no +reason why the fevers should not kill you. The lobster did not know that +there was any harm in getting into the lobster-pot; but it caught him +all the same." + +"Dear me," thought Tom, "she knows everything!" And so she did, indeed. + +"And so, if you do not know that things are wrong, that is no reason why +you should not be punished for them; though not as much, not as much, my +little man" (and the lady looked very kindly, after all), "as if you did +know." + +"Well, you are a little hard on a poor lad," said Tom. + +"Not at all; I am the best friend you ever had in all your life. But I +will tell you; I cannot help punishing people when they do wrong. I like +it no more than they do; I am often very, very sorry for them, poor +things: but I cannot help it. If I tried not to do it, I should do it +all the same. For I work by machinery, just like an engine; and am full +of wheels and springs inside; and am wound up very carefully, so that I +cannot help going." + +"Was it long ago since they wound you up?" asked Tom. For he thought, +the cunning little fellow, "She will run down some day: or they may +forget to wind her up, as old Grimes used to forget to wind up his watch +when he came in from the public-house; and then I shall be safe." + +"I was wound up once and for all, so long ago, that I forget all about +it." + +"Dear me," said Tom, "you must have been made a long time!" + +"I never was made, my child; and I shall go for ever and ever; for I am +as old as Eternity, and yet as young as Time." + +And there came over the lady's face a very curious expression--very +solemn, and very sad; and yet very, very sweet. And she looked up and +away, as if she were gazing through the sea, and through the sky, at +something far, far off; and as she did so, there came such a quiet, +tender, patient, hopeful smile over her face that Tom thought for the +moment that she did not look ugly at all. And no more she did; for she +was like a great many people who have not a pretty feature in their +faces, and yet are lovely to behold, and draw little children's hearts +to them at once; because though the house is plain enough, yet from the +windows a beautiful and good spirit is looking forth. + +And Tom smiled in her face, she looked so pleasant for the moment. And +the strange fairy smiled too, and said: + +"Yes. You thought me very ugly just now, did you not?" + +Tom hung down his head, and got very red about the ears. + +"And I am very ugly. I am the ugliest fairy in the world; and I shall +be, till people behave themselves as they ought to do. And then I shall +grow as handsome as my sister, who is the loveliest fairy in the world; +and her name is Mrs. Doasyouwouldbedoneby. So she begins where I end, +and I begin where she ends; and those who will not listen to her must +listen to me, as you will see. Now, all of you run away, except Tom; and +he may stay and see what I am going to do. It will be a very good +warning for him to begin with, before he goes to school. + +"Now, Tom, every Friday I come down here and call up all who have +ill-used little children and serve them as they served the children." + +And at that Tom was frightened, and crept under a stone; which made the +two crabs who lived there very angry, and frightened their friend the +butter-fish into flapping hysterics: but he would not move for them. + +And first she called up all the doctors who give little children so much +physic (they were most of them old ones; for the young ones have learnt +better, all but a few army surgeons, who still fancy that a baby's +inside is much like a Scotch grenadier's), and she set them all in a +row; and very rueful they looked; for they knew what was coming. + +And first she pulled all their teeth out; and then she bled them all +round: and then she dosed them with calomel, and jalap, and salts and +senna, and brimstone and treacle; and horrible faces they made; and then +she gave them a great emetic of mustard and water, and no basons; and +began all over again; and that was the way she spent the morning. + +And then she called up a whole troop of foolish ladies, who pinch up +their children's waists and toes; and she laced them all up in tight +stays, so that they were choked and sick, and their noses grew red, and +their hands and feet swelled; and then she crammed their poor feet into +the most dreadfully tight boots, and made them all dance, which they did +most clumsily indeed; and then she asked them how they liked it; and +when they said not at all, she let them go: because they had only done +it out of foolish fashion, fancying it was for their children's good, as +if wasps' waists and pigs' toes could be pretty, or wholesome, or of any +use to anybody. + +Then she called up all the careless nursery-maids, and stuck pins into +them all over, and wheeled them about in perambulators with tight straps +across their stomachs and their heads and arms hanging over the side, +till they were quite sick and stupid, and would have had sun-strokes: +but, being under the water, they could only have water-strokes; which, I +assure you, are nearly as bad, as you will find if you try to sit under +a mill-wheel. And mind--when you hear a rumbling at the bottom of the +sea, sailors will tell you that it is a ground-swell: but now you know +better. It is the old lady wheeling the maids about in perambulators. + +And by that time she was so tired, she had to go to luncheon. + +And after luncheon she set to work again, and called up all the cruel +schoolmasters--whole regiments and brigades of them; and when she saw +them, she frowned most terribly, and set to work in earnest, as if the +best part of the day's work was to come. More than half of them were +nasty, dirty, frowzy, grubby, smelly old monks, who, because they dare +not hit a man of their own size, amused themselves with beating little +children instead; as you may see in the picture of old Pope Gregory +(good man and true though he was, when he meddled with things which he +did understand), teaching children to sing their fa-fa-mi-fa with a +cat-o'-nine-tails under his chair: but, because they never had any +children of their own, they took into their heads (as some folks do +still) that they were the only people in the world who knew how to +manage children: and they first brought into England, in the old +Anglo-Saxon times, the fashion of treating free boys, and girls too, +worse than you would treat a dog or a horse: but Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid +has caught them all long ago; and given them many a taste of their own +rods; and much good may it do them. + +And she boxed their ears, and thumped them over the head with rulers, +and pandied their hands with canes, and told them that they told +stories, and were this and that bad sort of people; and the more they +were very indignant, and stood upon their honour, and declared they told +the truth, the more she declared they were not, and that they were only +telling lies; and at last she birched them all round soundly with her +great birch-rod and set them each an imposition of three hundred +thousand lines of Hebrew to learn by heart before she came back next +Friday. And at that they all cried and howled so, that their breaths +came all up through the sea like bubbles out of soda-water; and that is +one reason of the bubbles in the sea. There are others: but that is the +one which principally concerns little boys. And by that time she was so +tired that she was glad to stop; and, indeed, she had done a very good +day's work. + +Tom did not quite dislike the old lady: but he could not help thinking +her a little spiteful--and no wonder if she was, poor old soul; for if +she has to wait to grow handsome till people do as they would be done +by, she will have to wait a very long time. + +Poor old Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid! she has a great deal of hard work before +her, and had better have been born a washerwoman, and stood over a tub +all day: but, you see, people cannot always choose their own profession. + +But Tom longed to ask her one question; and after all, whenever she +looked at him, she did not look cross at all; and now and then there was +a funny smile in her face, and she chuckled to herself in a way which +gave Tom courage, and at last he said: + +"Pray, ma'am, may I ask you a question?" + +"Certainly, my little dear." + +"Why don't you bring all the bad masters here and serve them out too? +The butties that knock about the poor collier-boys; and the nailers that +file off their lads' noses and hammer their fingers; and all the master +sweeps, like my master Grimes? I saw him fall into the water long ago; +so I surely expected he would have been here. I'm sure he was bad enough +to me." + +Then the old lady looked so very stern that Tom was quite frightened, +and sorry that he had been so bold. But she was not angry with him. She +only answered, "I look after them all the week round; and they are in a +very different place from this, because they knew that they were doing +wrong." + +She spoke very quietly; but there was something in her voice which made +Tom tingle from head to foot, as if he had got into a shoal of +sea-nettles. + +"But these people," she went on, "did not know that they were doing +wrong: they were only stupid and impatient; and therefore I only punish +them till they become patient, and learn to use their common sense like +reasonable beings. But as for chimney-sweeps, and collier-boys, and +nailer lads, my sister has set good people to stop all that sort of +thing; and very much obliged to her I am; for if she could only stop the +cruel masters from ill-using poor children, I should grow handsome at +least a thousand years sooner. And now do you be a good boy, and do as +you would be done by, which they did not; and then, when my sister, +MADAME DOASYOUWOULDBEDONEBY, comes on Sunday, perhaps she will take +notice of you, and teach you how to behave. She understands that better +than I do." And so she went. + +Tom was very glad to hear that there was no chance of meeting Grimes +again, though he was a little sorry for him, considering that he used +sometimes to give him the leavings of the beer: but he determined to be +a very good boy all Saturday; and he was; for he never frightened one +crab, nor tickled any live corals, nor put stones into the sea anemones' +mouths, to make them fancy they had got a dinner; and when Sunday +morning came, sure enough, MRS. DOASYOUWOULDBEDONEBY came too. Whereat +all the little children began dancing and clapping their hands, and Tom +danced too with all his might. + +And as for the pretty lady, I cannot tell you what the colour of her +hair was, or of her eyes: no more could Tom; for, when any one looks at +her, all they can think of is, that she has the sweetest, kindest, +tenderest, funniest, merriest face they ever saw, or want to see. But +Tom saw that she was a very tall woman, as tall as her sister: but +instead of being gnarly and horny, and scaly, and prickly, like her, she +was the most nice, soft, fat, smooth, pussy, cuddly, delicious creature +who ever nursed a baby; and she understood babies thoroughly, for she +had plenty of her own, whole rows and regiments of them, and has to this +day. And all her delight was, whenever she had a spare moment, to play +with babies, in which she showed herself a woman of sense; for babies +are the best company, and the pleasantest playfellows, in the world; at +least, so all the wise people in the world think. And therefore when the +children saw her, they naturally all caught hold of her, and pulled her +till she sat down on a stone, and climbed into her lap, and clung round +her neck, and caught hold of her hands; and then they all put their +thumbs into their mouths, and began cuddling and purring like so many +kittens, as they ought to have done. While those who could get nowhere +else sat down on the sand, and cuddled her feet--for no one, you know, +wear shoes in the water, except horrid old bathing-women, who are afraid +of the water-babies pinching their horny toes. And Tom stood staring at +them; for he could not understand what it was all about. + +"And who are you, you little darling?" she said. + +"Oh, that is the new baby!" they all cried, pulling their thumbs out of +their mouths; "and he never had any mother," and they all put their +thumbs back again, for they did not wish to lose any time. + +"Then I will be his mother, and he shall have the very best place; so +get out, all of you, this moment." + +And she took up two great armfuls of babies--nine hundred under one arm, +and thirteen hundred under the other--and threw them away, right and +left, into the water. But they minded it no more than the naughty boys +in Struwwelpeter minded when St. Nicholas dipped them in his inkstand; +and did nor even take their thumbs out of their mouths, but came +paddling and wriggling back to her like so many tadpoles, till you could +see nothing of her from head to foot for the swarm of little babies. + +But she took Tom in her arms, and laid him in the softest place of all, +and kissed him, and patted him, and talked to him, tenderly and low, +such things as he had never heard before in his life; and Tom looked up +into her eyes, and loved her, and loved, till he fell fast asleep from +pure love. + +And when he woke she was telling the children a story. And what story +did she tell them? One story she told them, which begins every Christmas +Eve, and yet never ends at all for ever and ever; and, as she went on, +the children took their thumbs out of their mouths and listened quite +seriously; but not sadly at all; for she never told them anything sad; +and Tom listened too, and never grew tired of listening. And he listened +so long that he fell fast asleep again, and, when he woke, the lady was +nursing him still. + +"Don't go away," said little Tom. "This is so nice. I never had any one +to cuddle me before." + +"Don't go away," said all the children; "you have not sung us one song." + +"Well, I have time for only one. So what shall it be?" + +"The doll you lost! The doll you lost!" cried all the babies at once. + +So the strange fairy sang:-- + + _I once had a sweet little doll, dears, + The prettiest doll in the world; + Her cheeks were so red and so white, dears, + And her hair was so charmingly curled. + But I lost my poor little doll, dears, + As I played in the heath one day; + And I cried for her more than a week, dears, + But I never could find where she lay._ + + _I found my poor little doll, dears, + As I played in the heath one day: + Folks say she is terribly changed, dears, + For her paint is all washed away, + And her arm trodden off by the cows, dears, + And her hair not the least bit curled: + Yet, for old sakes' sake she is still, dears, + The prettiest doll in the world._ + +What a silly song for a fairy to sing! + +And what silly water-babies to be quite delighted at it! + +Well, but you see they have not the advantage of Aunt Agitate's +Arguments in the sea-land down below. + +"Now," said the fairy to Tom, "will you be a good boy for my sake, and +torment no more sea-beasts till I come back?" + +"And you will cuddle me again?" said poor little Tom. + +"Of course I will, you little duck. I should like to take you with me +and cuddle you all the way, only I must not"; and away she went. + +So Tom really tried to be a good boy, and tormented no sea-beasts after +that as long as he lived; and he is quite alive, I assure you, still. + +Oh, how good little boys ought to be who have kind pussy mammas to +cuddle them and tell them stories; and how afraid they ought to be of +growing naughty, and bringing tears into their mammas' pretty eyes! + + "Thou little child, yet glorious in the night + Of heaven-born freedom on thy Being's height, + Why with such earnest pains dost thou provoke + The Years to bring the inevitable yoke-- + Thus blindly with thy blessedness at strife? + Full soon thy soul shall have her earthly freight, + And custom lie upon thee with a weight + Heavy as frost, and deep almost as life." + + WORDSWORTH. + + + + + +CHAPTER VI + + +HERE I come to the very saddest part of all my story. I know some people +will only laugh at it, and call it much ado about nothing. But I know +one man who would not; and he was an officer with a pair of grey +moustaches as long as your arm, who said once in company that two of the +most heart-rending sights in the world, which moved him most to tears, +which he would do anything to prevent or remedy, were a child over a +broken toy and a child stealing sweets. + +The company did not laugh at him; his moustaches were too long and too +grey for that: but, after he was gone, they called him sentimental and +so forth, all but one dear little old Quaker lady with a soul as white +as her cap, who was not, of course, generally partial to soldiers; and +she said very quietly, like a Quaker: + +"Friends, it is borne upon my mind that that is a truly brave man." + +[Illustration: "He crept away among the rocks, and got to the cabinet, +and behold! it was open."--_P. 172_.] + +Now you may fancy that Tom was quite good, when he had everything that +he could want or wish: but you would be very much mistaken. Being quite +comfortable is a very good thing; but it does not make people good. +Indeed, it sometimes makes them naughty, as it has made the people in +America; and as it made the people in the Bible, who waxed fat and +kicked, like horses overfed and underworked. And I am very sorry to say +that this happened to little Tom. For he grew so fond of the +sea-bullseyes and sea-lollipops that his foolish little head could think +of nothing else: and he was always longing for more, and wondering when +the strange lady would come again and give him some, and what she would +give him, and how much, and whether she would give him more than the +others. And he thought of nothing but lollipops by day, and dreamt of +nothing else by night--and what happened then? + +That he began to watch the lady to see where she kept the sweet things: +and began hiding, and sneaking, and following her about, and pretending +to be looking the other way, or going after something else, till he +found out that she kept them in a beautiful mother-of-pearl cabinet away +in a deep crack of the rocks. + +And he longed to go to the cabinet, and yet he was afraid; and then he +longed again, and was less afraid; and at last, by continual thinking +about it, he longed so violently that he was not afraid at all. And one +night, when all the other children were asleep, and he could not sleep +for thinking of lollipops, he crept away among the rocks, and got to the +cabinet, and behold! it was open. + +But, when he saw all the nice things inside, instead of being delighted, +he was quite frightened, and wished he had never come there. And then +he would only touch them, and he did; and then he would only taste one, +and he did; and then he would only eat one, and he did; and then he +would only eat two, and then three, and so on; and then he was terrified +lest she should come and catch him, and began gobbling them down so fast +that he did not taste them, or have any pleasure in them; and then he +felt sick, and would have only one more; and then only one more again; +and so on till he had eaten them all up. + +And all the while, close behind him, stood Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid. + +Some people may say, But why did she not keep her cupboard locked? Well, +I know.--It may seem a very strange thing, but she never does keep her +cupboard locked; every one may go and taste for themselves, and fare +accordingly. It is very odd, but so it is; and I am quite sure that she +knows best. Perhaps she wishes people to keep their fingers out of the +fire, by having them burned. + +She took off her spectacles, because she did not like to see too much; +and in her pity she arched up her eyebrows into her very hair, and her +eyes grew so wide that they would have taken in all the sorrows of the +world, and filled with great big tears, as they too often do. + +But all she said was: + +"Ah, you poor little dear! you are just like all the rest." + +But she said it to herself, and Tom neither heard nor saw her. Now, you +must not fancy that she was sentimental at all. If you do, and think +that she is going to let off you, or me, or any human being when we do +wrong, because she is too tender-hearted to punish us, then you will +find yourself very much mistaken, as many a man does every year and +every day. + +But what did the strange fairy do when she saw all her lollipops eaten? + +Did she fly at Tom, catch him by the scruff of the neck, hold him, howk +him, hump him, hurry him, hit him, poke him, pull him, pinch him, pound +him, put him in the corner, shake him, slap him, set him on a cold stone +to reconsider himself, and so forth? + +Not a bit. You may watch her at work if you know where to find her. But +you will never see her do that. For, if she had, she knew quite well Tom +would have fought, and kicked, and bit, and said bad words, and turned +again that moment into a naughty little heathen chimney-sweep, with his +hand, like Ishmael's of old, against every man, and every man's hand +against him. + +Did she question him, hurry him, frighten him, threaten him, to make him +confess? Not a bit. You may see her, as I said, at her work often enough +if you know where to look for her: but you will never see her do that. +For, if she had, she would have tempted him to tell lies in his fright; +and that would have been worse for him, if possible, than even becoming +a heathen chimney-sweep again. + +No. She leaves that for anxious parents and teachers (lazy ones, some +call them), who, instead of giving children a fair trial, such as they +would expect and demand for themselves, force them by fright to confess +their own faults--which is so cruel and unfair that no judge on the +bench dare do it to the wickedest thief or murderer, for the good +British law forbids it--ay, and even punish them to make them confess, +which is so detestable a crime that it is never committed now, save by +Inquisitors, and Kings of Naples, and a few other wretched people of +whom the world is weary. And then they say, "We have trained up the +child in the way he should go, and when he grew up he has departed from +it. Why then did Solomon say that he would not depart from it?" But +perhaps the way of beating, and hurrying, and frightening, and +questioning, was not the way that the child should go; for it is not +even the way in which a colt should go if you want to break it in and +make it a quiet serviceable horse. + +Some folks may say, "Ah! but the Fairy does not need to do that if she +knows everything already." True. But, if she did not know, she would not +surely behave worse than a British judge and jury; and no more should +parents and teachers either. + +So she just said nothing at all about the matter, not even when Tom came +next day with the rest for sweet things. He was horribly afraid of +coming: but he was still more afraid of staying away, lest any one +should suspect him. He was dreadfully afraid, too, lest there should be +no sweets--as was to be expected, he having eaten them all--and lest +then the fairy should inquire who had taken them. But, behold! she +pulled out just as many as ever, which astonished Tom, and frightened +him still more. + +And, when the fairy looked him full in the face, he shook from head to +foot: however she gave him his share like the rest, and he thought +within himself that she could not have found him out. + +But, when he put the sweets into his mouth, he hated the taste of them; +and they made him so sick that he had to get away as fast as he could; +and terribly sick he was, and very cross and unhappy, all the week +after. + +Then, when next week came, he had his share again; and again the fairy +looked him full in the face; but more sadly than she had ever looked. +And he could not bear the sweets: but took them again in spite of +himself. + +And when Mrs. Doasyouwouldbedoneby came, he wanted to be cuddled like +the rest; but she said very seriously: + +"I should like to cuddle you; but I cannot, you are so horny and +prickly." + +And Tom looked at himself: and he was all over prickles, just like a +sea-egg. + +Which was quite natural; for you must know and believe that people's +souls make their bodies just as a snail makes its shell (I am not +joking, my little man; I am in serious, solemn earnest). And therefore, +when Tom's soul grew all prickly with naughty tempers, his body could +not help growing prickly too, so that nobody would cuddle him, or play +with him, or even like to look at him. + +What could Tom do now but go away and hide in a corner and cry? For +nobody would play with him, and he knew full well why. + +And he was so miserable all that week that when the ugly fairy came and +looked at him once more full in the face, more seriously and sadly than +ever, he could stand it no longer, and thrust the sweetmeats away, +saying, "No, I don't want any: I can't bear them now," and then burst +out crying, poor little man, and told Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid every word +as it happened. + +He was horribly frightened when he had done so; for he expected her to +punish him very severely. But, instead, she only took him up and kissed +him, which was not quite pleasant, for her chin was very bristly indeed; +but he was so lonely-hearted, he thought that rough kissing was better +than none. + +"I will forgive you, little man," she said. "I always forgive every one +the moment they tell me the truth of their own accord." + +"Then you will take away all these nasty prickles?" + +"That is a very different matter. You put them there yourself, and only +you can take them away." + +"But how can I do that?" asked Tom, crying afresh. + +"Well, I think it is time for you to go to school; so I shall fetch you +a schoolmistress, who will teach you how to get rid of your prickles." +And so she went away. + +Tom was frightened at the notion of a schoolmistress; for he thought she +would certainly come with a birch-rod or a cane; but he comforted +himself, at last, that she might be something like the old woman in +Vendale--which she was not in the least; for, when the fairy brought +her, she was the most beautiful little girl that ever was seen, with +long curls floating behind her like a golden cloud, and long robes +floating all round her like a silver one. + +"There he is," said the fairy; "and you must teach him to be good, +whether you like or not." + +"I know," said the little girl; but she did not seem quite to like, for +she put her finger in her mouth, and looked at Tom under her brows; and +Tom put his finger in his mouth, and looked at her under his brows, for +he was horribly ashamed of himself. + +The little girl seemed hardly to know how to begin; and perhaps she +would never have begun at all if poor Tom had not burst out crying, and +begged her to teach him to be good and help him to cure his prickles; +and at that she grew so tender-hearted that she began teaching him as +prettily as ever child was taught in the world. + +And what did the little girl teach Tom? She taught him, first, what you +have been taught ever since you said your first prayers at your mother's +knees; but she taught him much more simply. For the lessons in that +world, my child, have no such hard words in them as the lessons in +this, and therefore the water-babies like them better than you like your +lessons, and long to learn them more and more; and grown men cannot +puzzle nor quarrel over their meaning, as they do here on land; for +those lessons all rise clear and pure, like the Test out of Overton +Pool, out of the everlasting ground of all life and truth. + +So she taught Tom every day in the week; only on Sundays she always went +away home, and the kind fairy took her place. And before she had taught +Tom many Sundays, his prickles had vanished quite away, and his skin was +smooth and clean again. + +"Dear me!" said the little girl; "why, I know you now. You are the very +same little chimney-sweep who came into my bedroom." + +"Dear me!" cried Tom. "And I know you, too, now. You are the very little +white lady whom I saw in bed." And he jumped at her, and longed to hug +and kiss her; but did not, remembering that she was a lady born; so he +only jumped round and round her till he was quite tired. + +And then they began telling each other all their story--how he had got +into the water, and she had fallen over the rock; and how he had swum +down to the sea, and how she had flown out of the window; and how this, +that, and the other, till it was all talked out: and then they both +began over again, and I can't say which of the two talked fastest. + +And then they set to work at their lessons again, and both liked them +so well that they went on well till seven full years were past and gone. + +You may fancy that Tom was quite content and happy all those seven +years; but the truth is, he was not. He had always one thing on his +mind, and that was--where little Ellie went, when she went home on +Sundays. + +To a very beautiful place, she said. + +But what was the beautiful place like, and where was it? + +Ah! that is just what she could not say. And it is strange, but true, +that no one can say; and that those who have been oftenest in it, or +even nearest to it, can say least about it, and make people understand +least what it is like. There are a good many folks about the +Other-end-of-Nowhere (where Tom went afterwards), who pretend to know it +from north to south as well as if they had been penny postmen there; +but, as they are safe at the Other-end-of-Nowhere, nine hundred and +ninety-nine million miles away, what they say cannot concern us. + +But the dear, sweet, loving, wise, good, self-sacrificing people, who +really go there, can never tell you anything about it, save that it is +the most beautiful place in all the world; and, if you ask them more, +they grow modest, and hold their peace, for fear of being laughed at; +and quite right they are. + +So all that good little Ellie could say was, that it was worth all the +rest of the world put together. And of course that only made Tom the +more anxious to go likewise. + +"Miss Ellie," he said at last, "I will know why I cannot go with you +when you go home on Sundays, or I shall have no peace, and give you none +either." + +"You must ask the fairies that." + +So when the fairy, Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid, came next, Tom asked her. + +"Little boys who are only fit to play with sea-beasts cannot go there," +she said. "Those who go there must go first where they do not like, and +do what they do not like, and help somebody they do not like." + +"Why, did Ellie do that?" + +"Ask her." + +And Ellie blushed, and said, "Yes, Tom; I did not like coming here at +first; I was so much happier at home, where it is always Sunday. And I +was afraid of you, Tom, at first,--because--because----" + +"Because I was all over prickles? But I am not prickly now, am I, Miss +Ellie?" + +"No," said Ellie. "I like you very much now; and I like coming here, +too." + +"And perhaps," said the fairy, "you will learn to like going where you +don't like, and helping some one that you don't like, as Ellie has." + +But Tom put his finger in his mouth, and hung his head down; for he did +not see that at all. + +So when Mrs. Doasyouwouldbedoneby came, Tom asked her; for he thought in +his little head, She is not so strict as her sister, and perhaps she +may let me off more easily. + +Ah, Tom, Tom, silly fellow! and yet I don't know why I should blame you, +while so many grown people have got the very same notion in their heads. + +But, when they try it, they get just the same answer as Tom did. For, +when he asked the second fairy, she told him just what the first did, +and in the very same words. + +Tom was very unhappy at that. And, when Ellie went home on Sunday, he +fretted and cried all day, and did not care to listen to the fairy's +stories about good children, though they were prettier than ever. +Indeed, the more he overheard of them, the less he liked to listen, +because they were all about children who did what they did not like, and +took trouble for other people, and worked to feed their little brothers +and sisters instead of caring only for their play. And, when she began +to tell a story about a holy child in old times, who was martyred by the +heathen because it would not worship idols, Tom could bear no more, and +ran away and hid among the rocks. + +And, when Ellie came back, he was shy with her, because he fancied she +looked down on him, and thought him a coward. And then he grew quite +cross with her, because she was superior to him, and did what he could +not do. And poor Ellie was quite surprised and sad; and at last Tom +burst out crying; but he would not tell her what was really in his +mind. + +And all the while he was eaten up with curiosity to know where Ellie +went to; so that he began not to care for his playmates, or for the +sea-palace or anything else. But perhaps that made matters all the +easier for him; for he grew so discontented with everything round him +that he did not care to stay, and did not care where he went. + +"Well," he said, at last, "I am so miserable here, I'll go; if only you +will go with me?" + +"Ah!" said Ellie, "I wish I might; but the worst of it is, that the +fairy says that you must go alone if you go at all. Now don't poke that +poor crab about, Tom" (for he was feeling very naughty and mischievous), +"or the fairy will have to punish you." + +Tom was very nearly saying, "I don't care if she does"; but he stopped +himself in time. + +"I know what she wants me to do," he said, whining most dolefully. "She +wants me to go after that horrid old Grimes. I don't like him, that's +certain. And if I find him, he will turn me into a chimney-sweep again, +I know. That's what I have been afraid of all along." + +"No, he won't--I know as much as that. Nobody can turn water-babies into +sweeps, or hurt them at all, as long as they are good." + +"Ah," said naughty Tom, "I see what you want; you are persuading me all +along to go, because you are tired of me, and want to get rid of me." + +Little Ellie opened her eyes very wide at that, and they were all +brimming over with tears. + +"Oh, Tom, Tom!" she said, very mournfully--and then she cried, "Oh, Tom! +where are you?" + +And Tom cried, "Oh, Ellie, where are you?" + +For neither of them could see each other--not the least. Little Ellie +vanished quite away, and Tom heard her voice calling him, and growing +smaller and smaller, and fainter and fainter, till all was silent. + +Who was frightened then but Tom? He swam up and down among the rocks, +into all the halls and chambers, faster than ever he swam before, but +could not find her. He shouted after her, but she did not answer; he +asked all the other children, but they had not seen her; and at last he +went up to the top of the water and began crying and screaming for Mrs. +Bedonebyasyoudid--which perhaps was the best thing to do--for she came +in a moment. + +"Oh!" said Tom. "Oh dear, oh dear! I have been naughty to Ellie, and I +have killed her--I know I have killed her." + +"Not quite that," said the fairy; "but I have sent her away home, and +she will not come back again for I do not know how long." + +And at that Tom cried so bitterly that the salt sea was swelled with his +tears, and the tide was .3,954,620,819 of an inch higher than it had +been the day before: but perhaps that was owing to the waxing of the +moon. It may have been so; but it is considered right in the new +philosophy, you know, to give spiritual causes for physical +phenomena--especially in parlour-tables; and, of course, physical +causes for spiritual ones, like thinking, and praying, and knowing right +from wrong. And so they odds it till it comes even, as folks say down in +Berkshire. + +"How cruel of you to send Ellie away!" sobbed Tom. "However, I will find +her again, if I go to the world's end to look for her." + +The fairy did not slap Tom, and tell him to hold his tongue: but she +took him on her lap very kindly, just as her sister would have done; and +put him in mind how it was not her fault, because she was wound up +inside, like watches, and could not help doing things whether she liked +or not. And then she told him how he had been in the nursery long +enough, and must go out now and see the world, if he intended ever to be +a man; and how he must go all alone by himself, as every one else that +ever was born has to go, and see with his own eyes, and smell with his +own nose, and make his own bed and lie on it, and burn his own fingers +if he put them into the fire. And then she told him how many fine things +there were to be seen in the world, and what an odd, curious, pleasant, +orderly, respectable, well-managed, and, on the whole, successful (as, +indeed, might have been expected) sort of a place it was, if people +would only be tolerably brave and honest and good in it; and then she +told him not to be afraid of anything he met, for nothing would harm him +if he remembered all his lessons, and did what he knew was right. And at +last she comforted poor little Tom so much that he was quite eager to +go, and wanted to set out that minute. "Only," he said, "if I might see +Ellie once before I went!" + +"Why do you want that?" + +"Because--because I should be so much happier if I thought she had +forgiven me." + +And in the twinkling of an eye there stood Ellie, smiling, and looking +so happy that Tom longed to kiss her; but was still afraid it would not +be respectful, because she was a lady born. + +"I am going, Ellie!" said Tom. "I am going, if it is to the world's end. +But I don't like going at all, and that's the truth." + +"Pooh! pooh! pooh!" said the fairy. "You will like it very well indeed, +you little rogue, and you know that at the bottom of your heart. But if +you don't, I will make you like it. Come here, and see what happens to +people who do only what is pleasant." + +And she took out of one of her cupboards (she had all sorts of +mysterious cupboards in the cracks of the rocks) the most wonderful +waterproof book, full of such photographs as never were seen. For she +had found out photography (and this is a fact) more than 13,598,000 +years before anybody was born; and, what is more, her photographs did +not merely represent light and shade, as ours do, but colour also, and +all colours, as you may see if you look at a blackcock's tail, or a +butterfly's wing, or indeed most things that are or can be, so to speak. +And therefore her photographs were very curious and famous, and the +children looked with great delight for the opening of the book. + +And on the title-page was written, "The History of the great and famous +nation of the Doasyoulikes, who came away from the country of Hardwork, +because they wanted to play on the Jews' harp all day long." + +In the first picture they saw these Doasyoulikes living in the land of +Readymade, at the foot of the Happy-go-lucky Mountains, where flapdoodle +grows wild; and if you want to know what that is, you must read Peter +Simple. + +They lived very much such a life as those jolly old Greeks in Sicily, +whom you may see painted on the ancient vases, and really there seemed +to be great excuses for them, for they had no need to work. + +Instead of houses they lived in the beautiful caves of tufa, and bathed +in the warm springs three times a day; and, as for clothes, it was so +warm there that the gentlemen walked about in little beside a cocked hat +and a pair of straps, or some light summer tackle of that kind; and the +ladies all gathered gossamer in autumn (when they were not too lazy) to +make their winter dresses. + +They were very fond of music, but it was too much trouble to learn the +piano or the violin; and as for dancing, that would have been too great +an exertion. So they sat on ant-hills all day long, and played on the +Jews' harp; and, if the ants bit them, why they just got up and went to +the next ant-hill, till they were bitten there likewise. + +And they sat under the flapdoodle-trees, and let the flapdoodle drop +into their mouths; and under the vines, and squeezed the grape-juice +down their throats; and, if any little pigs ran about ready roasted, +crying, "Come and eat me," as was their fashion in that country, they +waited till the pigs ran against their mouths, and then took a bite, and +were content, just as so many oysters would have been. + +They needed no weapons, for no enemies ever came near their land; and no +tools, for everything was readymade to their hand; and the stern old +fairy Necessity never came near them to hunt them up, and make them use +their wits, or die. + +And so on, and so on, and so on, till there were never such comfortable, +easy-going, happy-go-lucky people in the world. + +"Well, that is a jolly life," said Tom. + +"You think so?" said the fairy. "Do you see that great peaked mountain +there behind," said the fairy, "with smoke coming out of its top?" + +"Yes." + +"And do you see all those ashes, and slag, and cinders lying about?" + +"Yes." + +"Then turn over the next five hundred years, and you will see what +happens next." + +And behold the mountain had blown up like a barrel of gunpowder, and +then boiled over like a kettle; whereby one-third of the Doasyoulikes +were blown into the air, and another third were smothered in ashes; so +that there was only one-third left. + +"You see," said the fairy, "what comes of living on a burning mountain." + +"Oh, why did you not warn them?" said little Ellie. + +"I did warn them all that I could. I let the smoke come out of the +mountain; and wherever there is smoke there is fire. And I laid the +ashes and cinders all about; and wherever there are cinders, cinders may +be again. But they did not like to face facts, my dears, as very few +people do; and so they invented a cock-and-bull story, which, I am sure, +I never told them, that the smoke was the breath of a giant, whom some +gods or other had buried under the mountain; and that the cinders were +what the dwarfs roasted the little pigs whole with; and other nonsense +of that kind. And, when folks are in that humour, I cannot teach them, +save by the good old birch-rod." + +And then she turned over the next five hundred years: and there were the +remnant of the Doasyoulikes, doing as they liked, as before. They were +too lazy to move away from the mountain; so they said, If it has blown +up once, that is all the more reason that it should not blow up again. +And they were few in number: but they only said, The more the merrier, +but the fewer the better fare. However, that was not quite true; for all +the flapdoodle-trees were killed by the volcano, and they had eaten all +the roast pigs, who, of course, could not be expected to have little +ones. So they had to live very hard, on nuts and roots which they +scratched out of the ground with sticks. Some of them talked of sowing +corn, as their ancestors used to do, before they came into the land of +Readymade; but they had forgotten how to make ploughs (they had +forgotten even how to make Jews' harps by this time), and had eaten all +the seed-corn which they brought out of the land of Hardwork years +since; and of course it was too much trouble to go away and find more. +So they lived miserably on roots and nuts, and all the weakly little +children had great stomachs, and then died. + +"Why," said Tom, "they are growing no better than savages." + +"And look how ugly they are all getting," said Ellie. + +"Yes; when people live on poor vegetables instead of roast beef and +plum-pudding, their jaws grow large, and their lips grow coarse, like +the poor Paddies who eat potatoes." + +And she turned over the next five hundred years. And there they were all +living up in trees, and making nests to keep off the rain. And +underneath the trees lions were prowling about. + +"Why," said Ellie, "the lions seem to have eaten a good many of them, +for there are very few left now." + +"Yes," said the fairy; "you see it was only the strongest and most +active ones who could climb the trees, and so escape." + +"But what great, hulking, broad-shouldered chaps they are," said Tom; +"they are a rough lot as ever I saw." + +"Yes, they are getting very strong now; for the ladies will not marry +any but the very strongest and fiercest gentlemen, who can help them up +the trees out of the lions' way." + +And she turned over the next five hundred years. And in that they were +fewer still, and stronger, and fiercer; but their feet had changed shape +very oddly, for they laid hold of the branches with their great toes, as +if they had been thumbs, just as a Hindoo tailor uses his toes to thread +his needle. + +The children were very much surprised, and asked the fairy whether that +was her doing. + +"Yes, and no," she said, smiling. "It was only those who could use their +feet as well as their hands who could get a good living: or, indeed, get +married; so that they got the best of everything, and starved out all +the rest; and those who are left keep up a regular breed of +toe-thumb-men, as a breed of short-horns, or skye-terriers, or fancy +pigeons is kept up." + +"But there is a hairy one among them," said Ellie. + +"Ah!" said the fairy, "that will be a great man in his time, and chief +of all the tribe." + +And, when she turned over the next five hundred years, it was true. + +For this hairy chief had had hairy children, and they hairier children +still; and every one wished to marry hairy husbands, and have hairy +children too; for the climate was growing so damp that none but the +hairy ones could live: all the rest coughed and sneezed, and had sore +throats, and went into consumptions, before they could grow up to be men +and women. + +Then the fairy turned over the next five hundred years. And they were +fewer still. + +"Why, there is one on the ground picking up roots," said Ellie, "and he +cannot walk upright." + +No more he could; for in the same way that the shape of their feet had +altered, the shape of their backs had altered also. + +"Why," cried Tom, "I declare they are all apes." + +"Something fearfully like it, poor foolish creatures," said the fairy. +"They are grown so stupid now, that they can hardly think: for none of +them have used their wits for many hundred years. They have almost +forgotten, too, how to talk. For each stupid child forgot some of the +words it heard from its stupid parents, and had not wits enough to make +fresh words for itself. Beside, they are grown so fierce and suspicious +and brutal that they keep out of each other's way, and mope and sulk in +the dark forests, never hearing each other's voice, till they have +forgotten almost what speech is like. I am afraid they will all be apes +very soon, and all by doing only what they liked." + +And in the next five hundred years they were all dead and gone, by bad +food and wild beasts and hunters; all except one tremendous old fellow +with jaws like a jack, who stood full seven feet high; and M. Du Chaillu +came up to him, and shot him, as he stood roaring and thumping his +breast. And he remembered that his ancestors had once been men, and +tried to say, "Am I not a man and a brother?" but had forgotten how to +use his tongue; and then he had tried to call for a doctor, but he had +forgotten the word for one. So all he said was "Ubboboo!" and died. + +And that was the end of the great and jolly nation of the Doasyoulikes. +And, when Tom and Ellie came to the end of the book, they looked very +sad and solemn; and they had good reason so to do, for they really +fancied that the men were apes, and never thought, in their simplicity, +of asking whether the creatures had hippopotamus majors in their brains +or not; in which case, as you have been told already, they could not +possibly have been apes, though they were more apish than the apes of +all aperies. + +"But could you not have saved them from becoming apes?" said little +Ellie, at last. + +"At first, my dear; if only they would have behaved like men, and set to +work to do what they did not like. But the longer they waited, and +behaved like the dumb beasts, who only do what they like, the stupider +and clumsier they grew; till at last they were past all cure, for they +had thrown their own wits away. It is such things as this that help to +make me so ugly, that I know not when I shall grow fair." + +"And where are they all now?" asked Ellie. + +"Exactly where they ought to be, my dear." + +"Yes!" said the fairy, solemnly, half to herself, as she closed the +wonderful book. "Folks say now that I can make beasts into men; by +circumstance, and selection, and competition, and so forth. Well, +perhaps they are right; and perhaps, again, they are wrong. That is one +of the seven things which I am forbidden to tell, till the coming of the +Cocqcigrues; and, at all events, it is no concern of theirs. Whatever +their ancestors were, men they are; and I advise them to behave as such, +and act accordingly. But let them recollect this, that there are two +sides to every question, and a downhill as well as an uphill road; and, +if I can turn beasts into men, I can, by the same laws of circumstance, +and selection, and competition, turn men into beasts. You were very near +being turned into a beast once or twice, little Tom. Indeed, if you had +not made up your mind to go on this journey, and see the world, like an +Englishman, I am not sure but that you would have ended as an eft in a +pond." + +"Oh, dear me!" said Tom; "sooner than that, and be all over slime, I'll +go this minute, if it is to the world's end." + + "And Nature, the old Nurse, took + The child upon her knee, + Saying, 'Here is a story book + Thy father hath written for thee. + + "'Come wander with me,' she said, + 'Into regions yet untrod, + And read what is still unread + In the Manuscripts of God.' + + "And he wandered away and away + With Nature, the dear old Nurse, + Who sang to him night and day + The rhymes of the universe." + + LONGFELLOW. + + + + + +CHAPTER VII + + +"NOW," said Tom, "I am ready to be off, if it's to the world's end." + +"Ah!" said the fairy, "that is a brave, good boy. But you must go +farther than the world's end, if you want to find Mr. Grimes; for he is +at the Other-end-of-Nowhere. You must go to Shiny Wall, and through the +white gate that never was opened; and then you will come to Peacepool, +and Mother Carey's Haven, where the good whales go when they die. And +there Mother Carey will tell you the way to the Other-end-of-Nowhere, +and there you will find Mr. Grimes." + +"Oh, dear!" said Tom. "But I do not know my way to Shiny Wall, or where +it is at all." + +"Little boys must take the trouble to find out things for themselves, or +they will never grow to be men; so that you must ask all the beasts in +the sea and the birds in the air, and if you have been good to them, +some of them will tell you the way to Shiny Wall." + +"Well," said Tom, "it will be a long journey, so I had better start at +once. Good-bye, Miss Ellie; you know I am getting a big boy, and I must +go out and see the world." + +"I know you must," said Ellie; "but you will not forget me, Tom. I shall +wait here till you come." + +And she shook hands with him, and bade him good-bye. Tom longed very +much again to kiss her; but he thought it would not be respectful, +considering she was a lady born; so he promised not to forget her: but +his little whirl-about of a head was so full of the notion of going out +to see the world, that it forgot her in five minutes: however, though +his head forgot her, I am glad to say his heart did not. + +So he asked all the beasts in the sea, and all the birds in the air, but +none of them knew the way to Shiny Wall. For why? He was still too far +down south. + +Then he met a ship, far larger than he had ever seen--a gallant +ocean-steamer, with a long cloud of smoke trailing behind; and he +wondered how she went on without sails, and swam up to her to see. A +school of dolphins were running races round and round her, going three +feet for her one, and Tom asked them the way to Shiny Wall: but they did +not know. Then he tried to find out how she moved, and at last he saw +her screw, and was so delighted with it that he played under her quarter +all day, till he nearly had his nose knocked off by the fans, and +thought it time to move. Then he watched the sailors upon deck, and the +ladies, with their bonnets and parasols: but none of them could see him, +because their eyes were not opened,--as, indeed, most people's eyes are +not. + +At last there came out into the quarter-gallery a very pretty lady, in +deep black widow's weeds, and in her arms a baby. She leaned over the +quarter-gallery, and looked back and back toward England far away; and +as she looked she sang: + + +I. + + "_Soft soft wind, from out the sweet south sliding, + Waft thy silver cloud-webs athwart the summer sea; + Thin thin threads of mist on dewy fingers twining + Weave a veil of dappled gauze to shade my babe and me._ + + +II. + + "_Deep deep Love, within thine own abyss abiding, + Pour Thyself abroad, O Lord, on earth and air and sea; + Worn weary hearts within Thy holy temple hiding, + Shield from sorrow, sin, and shame my helpless babe and me._" + +Her voice was so soft and low, and the music of the air so sweet, that +Tom could have listened to it all day. But as she held the baby over the +gallery rail, to show it the dolphins leaping and the water gurgling in +the ship's wake, lo! and behold, the baby saw Tom. + +He was quite sure of that; for when their eyes met, the baby smiled and +held out his hands; and Tom smiled and held out his hands too; and the +baby kicked and leaped, as if it wanted to jump overboard to him. + +"What do you see, my darling?" said the lady; and her eyes followed the +baby's till she too caught sight of Tom, swimming about among the +foam-beads below. + +She gave a little shriek and start; and then she said, quite quietly, +"Babies in the sea? Well, perhaps it is the happiest place for them"; +and waved her hand to Tom, and cried, "Wait a little, darling, only a +little: and perhaps we shall go with you and be at rest." + +And at that an old nurse, all in black, came out and talked to her, and +drew her in. And Tom turned away northward, sad and wondering; and +watched the great steamer slide away into the dusk, and the lights on +board peep out one by one, and die out again, and the long bar of smoke +fade away into the evening mist, till all was out of sight. + +And he swam northward again, day after day, till at last he met the King +of the Herrings, with a curry-comb growing out of his nose, and a sprat +in his mouth for a cigar, and asked him the way to Shiny Wall; so he +bolted his sprat head foremost, and said: + +"If I were you, young gentleman, I should go to the Allalonestone, and +ask the last of the Gairfowl. She is of a very ancient clan, very nearly +as ancient as my own; and knows a good deal which these modern upstarts +don't, as ladies of old houses are likely to do." + +[Illustration: "There he saw the last of the Gairfowl, standing up on +the Allalonestone, all alone."--_P. 201._] + +Tom asked his way to her, and the King of the Herrings told him very +kindly, for he was a courteous old gentleman of the old school, +though he was horribly ugly, and strangely bedizened too, like the old +dandies who lounge in the club-house windows. + +But just as Tom had thanked him and set off, he called after him: "Hi! I +say, can you fly?" + +"I never tried," says Tom. "Why?" + +"Because, if you can, I should advise you to say nothing to the old lady +about it. There; take a hint. Good-bye." + +And away Tom went for seven days and seven nights due north-west, till +he came to a great codbank, the like of which he never saw before. The +great cod lay below in tens of thousands, and gobbled shell-fish all day +long; and the blue sharks roved about in hundreds, and gobbled them when +they came up. So they ate, and ate, and ate each other, as they had done +since the making of the world; for no man had come here yet to catch +them, and find out how rich old Mother Carey is. + +And there he saw the last of the Gairfowl, standing up on the +Allalonestone, all alone. And a very grand old lady she was, full three +feet high, and bolt upright, like some old Highland chieftainess. She +had on a black velvet gown, and a white pinner and apron, and a very +high bridge to her nose (which is a sure mark of high breeding), and a +large pair of white spectacles on it, which made her look rather odd: +but it was the ancient fashion of her house. + +And instead of wings, she had two little feathery arms, with which she +fanned herself, and complained of the dreadful heat; and she kept on +crooning an old song to herself, which she learnt when she was a little +baby-bird, long ago-- + + "_Two little birds they sat on a stone, + One swam away, and then there was one, + With a fal-lal-la-lady._ + + "_The other swam after, and then there was none, + And so the poor stone was left all alone; + With a fal-lal-la-lady._" + +It was "flew" away, properly, and not "swam" away: but, as she could not +fly, she had a right to alter it. However, it was a very fit song for +her to sing, because she was a lady herself. + +Tom came up to her very humbly, and made his bow; and the first thing +she said was-- + +"Have you wings? Can you fly?" + +"Oh dear, no, ma'am; I should not think of such thing," said cunning +little Tom. + +"Then I shall have great pleasure in talking to you, my dear. It is +quite refreshing nowadays to see anything without wings. They must all +have wings, forsooth, now, every new upstart sort of bird, and fly. What +can they want with flying, and raising themselves above their proper +station in life? In the days of my ancestors no birds ever thought of +having wings, and did very well without; and now they all laugh at me +because I keep to the good old fashion. Why, the very marrocks and +dovekies have got wings, the vulgar creatures, and poor little ones +enough they are; and my own cousins too, the razor-bills, who are +gentlefolk born, and ought to know better than to ape their inferiors." + +And so she was running on, while Tom tried to get in a word edgeways; +and at last he did, when the old lady got out of breath, and began +fanning herself again; and then he asked if she knew the way to Shiny +Wall. + +"Shiny Wall? Who should know better than I? We all came from Shiny Wall, +thousands of years ago, when it was decently cold, and the climate was +fit for gentlefolk; but now, what with the heat, and what with these +vulgar-winged things who fly up and down and eat everything, so that +gentlepeople's hunting is all spoilt, and one really cannot get one's +living, or hardly venture off the rock for fear of being flown against +by some creature that would not have dared to come within a mile of one +a thousand years ago--what was I saying? Why, we have quite gone down in +the world, my dear, and have nothing left but our honour. And I am the +last of my family. A friend of mine and I came and settled on this rock +when we were young, to be out of the way of low people. Once we were a +great nation, and spread over all the Northern Isles. But men shot us +so, and knocked us on the head, and took our eggs--why, if you will +believe it, they say that on the coast of Labrador the sailors used to +lay a plank from the rock on board the thing called their ship, and +drive us along the plank by hundreds, till we tumbled down into the +ship's waist in heaps; and then, I suppose, they ate us, the nasty +fellows! Well--but--what was I saying? At last, there were none of us +left, except on the old Gairfowlskerry, just off the Iceland coast, up +which no man could climb. Even there we had no peace; for one day, when +I was quite a young girl, the land rocked, and the sea boiled, and the +sky grew dark, and all the air was filled with smoke and dust, and down +tumbled the old Gairfowlskerry into the sea. The dovekies and marrocks, +of course, all flew away; but we were too proud to do that. Some of us +were dashed to pieces, and some drowned; and those who were left got +away to Eldey, and the dovekies tell me they are all dead now, and that +another Gairfowlskerry has risen out of the sea close to the old one, +but that it is such a poor flat place that it is not safe to live on: +and so here I am left alone." + +This was the Gairfowl's story, and, strange as it may seem, it is every +word of it true. + +"If you only had had wings!" said Tom; "then you might all have flown +away too." + +"Yes, young gentleman: and if people are not gentlemen and ladies, and +forget that _noblesse oblige_, they will find it as easy to get on in +the world as other people who don't care what they do. Why, if I had not +recollected that _noblesse oblige_, I should not have been all alone +now." And the poor old lady sighed. + +"How was that, ma'am?" + +"Why, my dear, a gentleman came hither with me, and after we had been +here some time, he wanted to marry--in fact, he actually proposed to me. +Well, I can't blame him; I was young, and very handsome then, I don't +deny: but you see, I could not hear of such a thing, because he was my +deceased sister's husband, you see?" + +"Of course not, ma'am," said Tom; though, of course, he knew nothing +about it. "She was very much diseased, I suppose?" + +"You do not understand me, my dear. I mean, that being a lady, and with +right and honourable feelings, as our house always has had, I felt it my +duty to snub him, and howk him, and peck him continually, to keep him at +his proper distance; and, to tell the truth, I once pecked him a little +too hard, poor fellow, and he tumbled backwards off the rock, +and--really, it was very unfortunate, but it was not my fault--a shark +coming by saw him flapping, and snapped him up. And since then I have +lived all alone-- + + _'With a fal-lal-la-lady.'_ + +And soon I shall be gone, my little dear, and nobody will miss me; and +then the poor stone will be left all alone." + +"But, please, which is the way to Shiny Wall?" said Tom. + +"Oh, you must go, my little dear--you must go. Let me see--I am +sure--that is--really, my poor old brains are getting quite puzzled. Do +you know, my little dear, I am afraid, if you want to know, you must +ask some of these vulgar birds about, for I have quite forgotten." + +And the poor old Gairfowl began to cry tears of pure oil; and Tom was +quite sorry for her; and for himself too, for he was at his wit's end +whom to ask. + +But by there came a flock of petrels, who are Mother Carey's own +chickens; and Tom thought them much prettier than Lady Gairfowl, and so +perhaps they were; for Mother Carey had had a great deal of fresh +experience between the time that she invented the Gairfowl and the time +that she invented them. They flitted along like a flock of black +swallows, and hopped and skipped from wave to wave, lifting up their +little feet behind them so daintily, and whistling to each other so +tenderly, that Tom fell in love with them at once, and called them to +know the way to Shiny Wall. + +"Shiny Wall? Do you want Shiny Wall? Then come with us, and we will show +you. We are Mother Carey's own chickens, and she sends us out over all +the seas, to show the good birds the way home." + +Tom was delighted, and swam off to them, after he had made his bow to +the Gairfowl. But she would not return his bow: but held herself bolt +upright, and wept tears of oil as she sang: + + "_And so the poor stone was left all alone; + With a fal-lal-la-lady._" + +But she was wrong there; for the stone was not left all alone: and the +next time that Tom goes by it, he will see a sight worth seeing. + +The old Gairfowl is gone already: but there are better things come in +her place; and when Tom comes he will see the fishing-smacks anchored +there in hundreds, from Scotland, and from Ireland, and from the +Orkneys, and the Shetlands, and from all the Northern ports, full of the +children of the old Norse Vikings, the masters of the sea. And the men +will be hauling in the great cod by thousands, till their hands are sore +from the lines; and they will be making cod-liver oil and guano, and +salting down the fish; and there will be a man-of-war steamer there to +protect them, and a lighthouse to show them the way; and you and I, +perhaps, shall go some day to the Allalonestone to the great summer +sea-fair, and dredge strange creatures such as man never saw before; and +we shall hear the sailors boast that it is not the worst jewel in Queen +Victoria's crown, for there are eighty miles of codbank, and food for +all the poor folk in the land. That is what Tom will see, and perhaps +you and I shall see it too. And then we shall not be sorry because we +cannot get a Gairfowl to stuff, much less find gairfowl enough to drive +them into stone pens and slaughter them, as the old Norsemen did, or +drive them on board along a plank till the ship was victualled with +them, as the old English and French rovers used to do, of whom dear old +Hakluyt tells: but we shall remember what Mr. Tennyson says: how + + "_The old order changeth, giving place to the new, + And God fulfils himself in many ways._" + +And now Tom was all agog to start for Shiny Wall; but the petrels said +no. They must go first to Allfowlsness, and wait there for the great +gathering of all the sea-birds, before they start for their summer +breeding-places far away in the Northern Isles; and there they would be +sure to find some birds which were going to Shiny Wall: but where +Allfowlsness was, he must promise never to tell, lest men should go +there and shoot the birds, and stuff them, and put them into stupid +museums, instead of leaving them to play and breed and work in Mother +Carey's water-garden, where they ought to be. + +So where Allfowlsness is nobody must know; and all that is to be said +about it is, that Tom waited there many days; and as he waited, he saw a +very curious sight. On the rabbit burrows on the shore there gathered +hundreds and hundreds of hoodie-crows, such as you see in +Cambridgeshire. And they made such a noise, that Tom came on shore and +went up to see what was the matter. + +And there he found them holding their great caucus, which they hold +every year in the North; and all their stump-orators were speechifying; +and for a tribune, the speaker stood on an old sheep's skull. + +And they cawed and cawed, and boasted of all the clever things they had +done; how many lambs' eyes they had picked out, and how many dead +bullocks they had eaten, and how many young grouse they had swallowed +whole, and how many grouse-eggs they had flown away with, stuck on the +point of their bills, which is the hoodie-crow's particularly clever +feat, of which he is as proud as a gipsy is of doing the hokanybaro; and +what that is, I won't tell you. + +And at last they brought out the prettiest, neatest young lady-crow that +ever was seen, and set her in the middle, and all began abusing and +vilifying, and rating, and bullyragging at her, because she had stolen +no grouse-eggs, and had actually dared to say that she would not steal +any. So she was to be tried publicly by their laws (for the hoodies +always try some offenders in their great yearly parliament). And there +she stood in the middle, in her black gown and grey hood, looking as +meek and as neat as a Quakeress, and they all bawled at her at once-- + +And it was in vain that she pleaded-- + + _That she did not like grouse-eggs;_ + + _That she could get her living very well without + them;_ + + _That she was afraid to eat them, for fear of the + gamekeepers;_ + + _That she had not the heart to eat them, because + the grouse were such pretty, kind, jolly birds;_ + + _And a dozen reasons more._ + +For all the other scaul-crows set upon her, and pecked her to death +there and then, before Tom could come to help her; and then flew away, +very proud of what they had done. + +[Illustration: "The most beautiful bird of paradise."--_P. 210._] + +Now, was not this a scandalous transaction? + +But they are true republicans, these hoodies, who do every one just what +he likes, and make other people do so too; so that, for any freedom of +speech, thought, or action, which is allowed among them, they might as +well be American citizens of the new school. + +But the fairies took the good crow, and gave her nine new sets of +feathers running, and turned her at last into the most beautiful bird of +paradise with a green velvet suit and a long tail, and sent her to eat +fruit in the Spice Islands, where cloves and nutmegs grow. + +And Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid settled her account with the wicked hoodies. +For, as they flew away, what should they find but a nasty dead dog?--on +which they all set to work, pecking and gobbling and cawing and +quarrelling to their hearts' content. But the moment afterwards, they +all threw up their bills into the air, and gave one screech; and then +turned head over heels backward, and fell down dead, one hundred and +twenty-three of them at once. For why? The fairy had told the gamekeeper +in a dream, to fill the dead dog full of strychnine; and so he did. + +And after a while the birds began to gather at Allfowlsness, in +thousands and tens of thousands, blackening all the air; swans and brant +geese, harlequins and eiders, harolds and garganeys, smews and +goosanders, divers and loons, grebes and dovekies, auks and +razor-bills, gannets and petrels, skuas and terns, with gulls beyond all +naming or numbering; and they paddled and washed and splashed and combed +and brushed themselves on the sand, till the shore was white with +feathers; and they quacked and clucked and gabbled and chattered and +screamed and whooped as they talked over matters with their friends, and +settled where they were to go and breed that summer, till you might have +heard them ten miles off; and lucky it was for them that there was no +one to hear them but the old keeper, who lived all alone upon the Ness, +in a turf hut thatched with heather and fringed round with great stones +slung across the roof by bent-ropes, lest the winter gales should blow +the hut right away. But he never minded the birds nor hurt them, because +they were not in season; indeed, he minded but two things in the whole +world, and those were, his Bible and his grouse; for he was as good an +old Scotchman as ever knit stockings on a winter's night: only, when all +the birds were going, he toddled out, and took off his cap to them, and +wished them a merry journey and a safe return; and then gathered up all +the feathers which they had left, and cleaned them to sell down south, +and make feather-beds for stuffy people to lie on. + +Then the petrels asked this bird and that whether they would take Tom to +Shiny Wall: but one set was going to Sutherland, and one to the +Shetlands, and one to Norway, and one to Spitzbergen, and one to +Iceland, and one to Greenland: but none would go to Shiny Wall. So the +good-natured petrels said that they would show him part of the way +themselves, but they were only going as far as Jan Mayen's Land; and +after that he must shift for himself. + +And then all the birds rose up, and streamed away in long black lines, +north, and north-east, and north-west, across the bright blue summer +sky; and their cry was like ten thousand packs of hounds, and ten +thousand peals of bells. Only the puffins stayed behind, and killed the +young rabbits, and laid their eggs in the rabbit-burrows; which was +rough practice, certainly; but a man must see to his own family. + +And, as Tom and the petrels went north-eastward, it began to blow right +hard; for the old gentleman in the grey great-coat, who looks after the +big copper boiler, in the gulf of Mexico, had got behindhand with his +work; so Mother Carey had sent an electric message to him for more +steam; and now the steam was coming, as much in an hour as ought to have +come in a week, puffing and roaring and swishing and swirling, till you +could not see where the sky ended and the sea began. But Tom and the +petrels never cared, for the gale was right abaft, and away they went +over the crests of the billows, as merry as so many flying-fish. + +And at last they saw an ugly sight--the black side of a great ship, +water-logged in the trough of the sea. Her funnel and her masts were +overboard, and swayed and surged under her lee; her decks were swept as +clean as a barn floor, and there was no living soul on board. + +The petrels flew up to her, and wailed round her; for they were very +sorry indeed, and also they expected to find some salt pork; and Tom +scrambled on board of her and looked round, frightened and sad. + +And there, in a little cot, lashed tight under the bulwark, lay a baby +fast asleep; the very same baby, Tom saw at once, which he had seen in +the singing lady's arms. + +He went up to it, and wanted to wake it; but behold, from under the cot +out jumped a little black and tan terrier dog, and began barking and +snapping at Tom, and would not let him touch the cot. + +Tom knew the dog's teeth could not hurt him: but at least it could shove +him away, and did; and he and the dog fought and struggled, for he +wanted to help the baby, and did not want to throw the poor dog +overboard: but as they were struggling, there came a tall green sea, and +walked in over the weather side of the ship, and swept them all into the +waves. + +"Oh, the baby, the baby!" screamed Tom: but the next moment he did not +scream at all; for he saw the cot settling down through the green water, +with the baby, smiling in it, fast asleep; and he saw the fairies come +up from below, and carry baby and cradle gently down in their soft arms; +and then he knew it was all right, and that there would be a new +water-baby in St. Brandan's Isle. + +And the poor little dog? + +Why, after he had kicked and coughed a little, he sneezed so hard, that +he sneezed himself clean out of his skin, and turned into a water-dog, +and jumped and danced round Tom, and ran over the crests of the waves, +and snapped at the jelly-fish and the mackerel, and followed Tom the +whole way to the Other-end-of-Nowhere. + +Then they went on again, till they began to see the peak of Jan Mayen's +Land, standing up like a white sugar-loaf, two miles above the clouds. + +And there they fell in with a whole flock of mollymocks, who were +feeding on a dead whale. + +"These are the fellows to show you the way," said Mother Carey's +chickens; "we cannot help you farther north. We don't like to get among +the ice pack, for fear it should nip our toes: but the mollys dare fly +anywhere." + +So the petrels called to the mollys: but they were so busy and greedy, +gobbling and pecking and spluttering and fighting over the blubber, that +they did not take the least notice. + +"Come, come," said the petrels, "you lazy greedy lubbers, this young +gentleman is going to Mother Carey, and if you don't attend on him, you +won't earn your discharge from her, you know." + +"Greedy we are," says a great fat old molly, "but lazy we ain't; and, as +for lubbers, we're no more lubbers than you. Let's have a look at the +lad." + +And he flapped right into Tom's face, and stared at him in the most +impudent way (for the mollys are audacious fellows, as all whalers +know), and then asked him where he hailed from, and what land he sighted +last. + +And, when Tom told him, he seemed pleased, and said he was a good +plucked one to have got so far. + +"Come along, lads," he said to the rest, "and give this little chap a +cast over the pack, for Mother Carey's sake. We've eaten blubber enough +for to-day, and we'll e'en work out a bit of our time by helping the +lad." + +So the mollys took Tom up on their backs, and flew off with him, +laughing and joking--and oh, how they did smell of train oil! + +"Who are you, you jolly birds?" asked Tom. + +"We are the spirits of the old Greenland skippers (as every sailor +knows), who hunted here, right whales and horse-whales, full hundreds of +years agone. But, because we were saucy and greedy, we were all turned +into mollys, to eat whale's blubber all our days. But lubbers we are +none, and could sail a ship now against any man in the North seas, +though we don't hold with this new-fangled steam. And it's a shame of +those black imps of petrels to call us so; but because they're her +grace's pets, they think they may say anything they like." + +"And who are you?" asked Tom of him, for he saw that he was the king of +all the birds. + +"My name is Hendrick Hudson, and a right good skipper was I; and my +name will last to the world's end, in spite of all the wrong I did. For +I discovered Hudson River, and I named Hudson's Bay; and many have come +in my wake that dared not have shown me the way. But I was a hard man in +my time, that's truth, and stole the poor Indians off the coast of +Maine, and sold them for slaves down in Virginia; and at last I was so +cruel to my sailors, here in these very seas, that they set me adrift in +an open boat, and I never was heard of more. So now I'm the king of all +mollys, till I've worked out my time." + +And now they came to the edge of the pack, and beyond it they could see +Shiny Wall looming, through mist, and snow, and storm. But the pack +rolled horribly upon the swell, and the ice giants fought and roared, +and leapt upon each other's backs, and ground each other to powder, so +that Tom was afraid to venture among them, lest he should be ground to +powder too. And he was the more afraid, when he saw lying among the ice +pack the wrecks of many a gallant ship; some with masts and yards all +standing, some with the seamen frozen fast on board. Alas, alas, for +them! They were all true English hearts; and they came to their end like +good knights-errant, in searching for the white gate that never was +opened yet. + +But the good mollys took Tom and his dog up, and flew with them safe +over the pack and the roaring ice giants, and set them down at the foot +of Shiny Wall. + +"And where is the gate?" asked Tom. + +"There is no gate," said the mollys. + +"No gate?" cried Tom, aghast. + +"None; never a crack of one, and that's the whole of the secret, as +better fellows, lad, than you have found to their cost; and if there had +been, they'd have killed by now every right whale that swims the sea." + +"What am I to do, then?" + +"Dive under the floe, to be sure, if you have pluck." + +"I've not come so far to turn now," said Tom; "so here goes for a +header." + +"A lucky voyage to you, lad," said the mollys; "we knew you were one of +the right sort. So good-bye." + +"Why don't you come too?" asked Tom. + +But the mollys only wailed sadly, "We can't go yet, we can't go yet," +and flew away over the pack. + +So Tom dived under the great white gate which never was opened yet, and +went on in black darkness, at the bottom of the sea, for seven days and +seven nights. And yet he was not a bit frightened. Why should he be? He +was a brave English lad, whose business is to go out and see all the +world. + +And at last he saw the light, and clear clear water overhead; and up he +came a thousand fathoms, among clouds of sea-moths, which fluttered +round his head. There were moths with pink heads and wings and opal +bodies, that flapped about slowly; moths with brown wings that flapped +about quickly; yellow shrimps that hopped and skipped most quickly of +all; and jellies of all the colours in the world, that neither hopped +nor skipped, but only dawdled and yawned, and would not get out of his +way. The dog snapped at them till his jaws were tired; but Tom hardly +minded them at all, he was so eager to get to the top of the water, and +see the pool where the good whales go. + +And a very large pool it was, miles and miles across, though the air was +so clear that the ice cliffs on the opposite side looked as if they were +close at hand. All round it the ice cliffs rose, in walls and spires and +battlements, and caves and bridges, and stories and galleries, in which +the ice-fairies live, and drive away the storms and clouds, that Mother +Carey's pool may lie calm from year's end to year's end. And the sun +acted policeman, and walked round outside every day, peeping just over +the top of the ice wall, to see that all went right; and now and then he +played conjuring tricks, or had an exhibition of fireworks, to amuse the +ice-fairies. For he would make himself into four or five suns at once, +or paint the sky with rings and crosses and crescents of white fire, and +stick himself in the middle of them, and wink at the fairies; and I +daresay they were very much amused; for anything's fun in the country. + +[Illustration: "That's Mother Carey."--_P. 219._] + +And there the good whales lay, the happy sleepy beasts, upon the still +oily sea. They were all right whales, you must know, and finners, and +razor-backs, and bottle-noses, and spotted sea-unicorns with long +ivory horns. But the sperm whales are such raging, ramping, roaring, +rumbustious fellows, that, if Mother Carey let them in, there would be +no more peace in Peacepool. So she packs them away in a great pond by +themselves at the South Pole, two hundred and sixty-three miles +south-south-east of Mount Erebus, the great volcano in the ice; and +there they butt each other with their ugly noses, day and night from +year's end to year's end. + +But here there were only good quiet beasts, lying about like the black +hulls of sloops, and blowing every now and then jets of white steam, or +sculling round with their huge mouths open, for the sea-moths to swim +down their throats. There were no threshers there to thresh their poor +old backs, or sword-fish to stab their stomachs, or saw-fish to rip them +up, or ice-sharks to bite lumps out of their sides, or whalers to +harpoon and lance them. They were quite safe and happy there; and all +they had to do was to wait quietly in Peacepool, till Mother Carey sent +for them to make them out of old beasts into new. + +Tom swam up to the nearest whale, and asked the way to Mother Carey. + +"There she sits in the middle," said the whale. + +Tom looked; but he could see nothing in the middle of the pool, but one +peaked iceberg: and he said so. + +"That's Mother Carey," said the whale, "as you will find when you get to +her. There she sits making old beasts into new all the year round." + +"How does she do that?" + +"That's her concern, not mine," said the old whale; and yawned so wide +(for he was very large) that there swam into his mouth 943 sea-moths, +13,846 jelly-fish no bigger than pins' heads, a string of salpae nine +yards long, and forty-three little ice-crabs, who gave each other a +parting pinch all round, tucked their legs under their stomachs, and +determined to die decently, like Julius Caesar. + +"I suppose," said Tom, "she cuts up a great whale like you into a whole +shoal of porpoises?" + +At which the old whale laughed so violently that he coughed up all the +creatures; who swam away again very thankful at having escaped out of +that terrible whalebone net of his, from which bourne no traveller +returns; and Tom went on to the iceberg, wondering. + +And, when he came near it, it took the form of the grandest old lady he +had ever seen--a white marble lady, sitting on a white marble throne. +And from the foot of the throne there swum away, out and out into the +sea, millions of new-born creatures, of more shapes and colours than man +ever dreamed. And they were Mother Carey's children, whom she makes out +of the sea-water all day long. + +He expected, of course--like some grown people who ought to know +better--to find her snipping, piecing, fitting, stitching, cobbling, +basting, filing, planing, hammering, turning, polishing, moulding, +measuring, chiselling, clipping, and so forth, as men do when they go +to work to make anything. + +But, instead of that, she sat quite still with her chin upon her hand, +looking down into the sea with two great grand blue eyes, as blue as the +sea itself. Her hair was as white as the snow--for she was very very +old--in fact, as old as anything which you are likely to come across, +except the difference between right and wrong. + +And, when she saw Tom, she looked at him very kindly. + +"What do you want, my little man? It is long since I have seen a +water-baby here." + +Tom told her his errand, and asked the way to the Other-end-of-Nowhere. + +"You ought to know yourself, for you have been there already." + +"Have I, ma'am? I'm sure I forget all about it." + +"Then look at me." + +And, as Tom looked into her great blue eyes, he recollected the way +perfectly. + +Now, was not that strange? + +"Thank you, ma'am," said Tom. "Then I won't trouble your ladyship any +more; I hear you are very busy." + +"I am never more busy than I am now," she said, without stirring a +finger. + +"I heard, ma'am, that you were always making new beasts out of old." + +"So people fancy. But I am not going to trouble myself to make things, +my little dear. I sit here and make them make themselves." + +"You are a clever fairy, indeed," thought Tom. And he was quite right. + +That is a grand trick of good old Mother Carey's, and a grand answer, +which she has had occasion to make several times to impertinent people. + +There was once, for instance, a fairy who was so clever that she found +out how to make butterflies. I don't mean sham ones; no: but real live +ones, which would fly, and eat, and lay eggs, and do everything that +they ought; and she was so proud of her skill that she went flying +straight off to the North Pole, to boast to Mother Carey how she could +make butterflies. + +But Mother Carey laughed. + +"Know, silly child," she said, "that any one can make things, if they +will take time and trouble enough: but it is not every one who, like me, +can make things make themselves." + +But people do not yet believe that Mother Carey is as clever as all that +comes to; and they will not till they, too, go the journey to the +Other-end-of-Nowhere. + +"And now, my pretty little man," said Mother Carey, "you are sure you +know the way to the Other-end-of-Nowhere?" + +Tom thought; and behold, he had forgotten it utterly. + +"That is because you took your eyes off me." + +Tom looked at her again, and recollected; and then looked away, and +forgot in an instant. + +"But what am I to do, ma'am? For I can't keep looking at you when I am +somewhere else." + +"You must do without me, as most people have to do, for nine hundred and +ninety-nine thousandths of their lives; and look at the dog instead; for +he knows the way well enough, and will not forget it. Besides, you may +meet some very queer-tempered people there, who will not let you pass +without this passport of mine, which you must hang round your neck and +take care of; and, of course, as the dog will always go behind you, you +must go the whole way backward." + +"Backward!" cried Tom. "Then I shall not be able to see my way." + +"On the contrary, if you look forward, you will not see a step before +you, and be certain to go wrong; but, if you look behind you, and watch +carefully whatever you have passed, and especially keep your eye on the +dog, who goes by instinct, and therefore can't go wrong, then you will +know what is coming next, as plainly as if you saw it in a +looking-glass." + +Tom was very much astonished: but he obeyed her, for he had learnt +always to believe what the fairies told him. + +"So it is, my dear child," said Mother Carey; "and I will tell you a +story, which will show you that I am perfectly right, as it is my custom +to be. + +"Once on a time, there were two brothers. One was called Prometheus, +because he always looked before him, and boasted that he was wise +beforehand. The other was called Epimetheus, because he always looked +behind him, and did not boast at all; but said humbly, like the +Irishman, that he had sooner prophesy after the event. + +[Illustration: "Pandora and her box."--_P. 224._] + +"Well, Prometheus was a very clever fellow, of course, and invented all +sorts of wonderful things. But, unfortunately, when they were set to +work, to work was just what they would not do: wherefore very little has +come of them, and very little is left of them; and now nobody knows what +they were, save a few archaeological old gentlemen who scratch in queer +corners, and find little there save Ptinum Furem, Blaptem Mortisagam, +Acarum Horridum, and Tineam Laciniarum. + +"But Epimetheus was a very slow fellow, certainly, and went among men +for a clod, and a muff, and a milksop, and a slowcoach, and a bloke, and +a boodle, and so forth. And very little he did, for many years: but what +he did, he never had to do over again. + +"And what happened at last? There came to the two brothers the most +beautiful creature that ever was seen, Pandora by name; which means, All +the gifts of the Gods. But because she had a strange box in her hand, +this fanciful, forecasting, suspicious, prudential, theoretical, +deductive, prophesying Prometheus, who was always settling what was +going to happen, would have nothing to do with pretty Pandora and her +box. + +"But Epimetheus took her and it, as he took everything that came; and +married her for better for worse, as every man ought, whenever he has +even the chance of a good wife. And they opened the box between them, +of course, to see what was inside: for, else, of what possible use could +it have been to them? + +"And out flew all the ills which flesh is heir to; all the children of +the four great bogies, Self-will, Ignorance, Fear, and Dirt--for +instance: + + _Measles_, _Famines_, + _Monks_, _Quacks_, + _Scarlatina_, _Unpaid bills_, + _Idols_, _Tight stays_, + _Hooping-coughs_, _Potatoes_, + _Popes_, _Bad Wine_, + _Wars_, _Despots_, + _Peacemongers_, _Demagogues_, + _And, worst of all, Naughty Boys and Girls._ + +But one thing remained at the bottom of the box, and that was, Hope. + +"So Epimetheus got a great deal of trouble, as most men do in this +world: but he got the three best things in the world into the bargain--a +good wife, and experience, and hope: while Prometheus had just as much +trouble, and a great deal more (as you will hear), of his own making; +with nothing beside, save fancies spun out of his own brain, as a spider +spins her web out of her stomach. + +"And Prometheus kept on looking before him so far ahead, that as he was +running about with a box of lucifers (which were the only useful things +he ever invented, and do as much harm as good), he trod on his own nose, +and tumbled down (as most deductive philosophers do), whereby he set +the Thames on fire; and they have hardly put it out again yet. So he had +to be chained to the top of a mountain, with a vulture by him to give +him a peck whenever he stirred, lest he should turn the whole world +upside down with his prophecies and his theories. + +"But stupid old Epimetheus went working and grubbing on, with the help +of his wife Pandora, always looking behind him to see what had happened, +till he really learnt to know now and then what would happen next; and +understood so well which side his bread was buttered, and which way the +cat jumped, that he began to make things which would work, and go on +working, too; to till and drain the ground, and to make looms, and +ships, and railroads, and steam ploughs, and electric telegraphs, and +all the things which you see in the Great Exhibition; and to foretell +famine, and bad weather, and the price of stocks and (what is hardest of +all) the next vagary of the great idol Whirligig, which some call Public +Opinion; till at last he grew as rich as a Jew, and as fat as a farmer, +and people thought twice before they meddled with him, but only once +before they asked him to help them; for, because he earned his money +well, he could afford to spend it well likewise. + +"And his children are the men of science, who get good lasting work done +in the world; but the children of Prometheus are the fanatics, and the +theorists, and the bigots, and the bores, and the noisy windy people, +who go telling silly folk what will happen, instead of looking to see +what has happened already." + +Now, was not Mother Carey's a wonderful story? And, I am happy to say, +Tom believed it every word. + +For so it happened to Tom likewise. He was very sorely tried; for +though, by keeping the dog to heels (or rather to toes, for he had to +walk backward), he could see pretty well which way the dog was hunting, +yet it was much slower work to go backwards than to go forwards. But, +what was more trying still, no sooner had he got out of Peacepool, than +there came running to him all the conjurers, fortune-tellers, +astrologers, prophesiers, projectors, prestigiators, as many as were in +those parts (and there are too many of them everywhere), Old Mother +Shipton on her broomstick, with Merlin, Thomas the Rhymer, Gerbertus, +Rabanus Maurus, Nostradamus, Zadkiel, Raphael, Moore, Old Nixon, and a +good many in black coats and white ties who might have known better, +considering in what century they were born, all bawling and screaming at +him, "Look a-head, only look a-head; and we will show you what man never +saw before, and right away to the end of the world!" + +But I am proud to say that, though Tom had not been to Cambridge--for, +if he had, he would have certainly been senior wrangler--he was such a +little dogged, hard, gnarly, foursquare brick of an English boy, that he +never turned his head round once all the way from Peacepool to the +Other-end-of-Nowhere: but kept his eye on the dog, and let him pick out +the scent, hot or cold, straight or crooked, wet or dry, up hill or down +dale; by which means he never made a single mistake, and saw all the +wonderful and hitherto by-no-mortal-man-imagined things, which it is my +duty to relate to you in the next chapter. + + "Come to me, O ye children! + For I hear you at your play; + And the questions that perplexed me + Have vanished quite away. + + "Ye open the Eastern windows, + That look towards the sun, + Where thoughts are singing swallows, + And the brooks of morning run. + + * * * * * + + "For what are all our contrivings + And the wisdom of our books, + When compared with your caresses, + And the gladness of your looks? + + "Ye are better than all the ballads + That ever were sung or said; + For ye are living poems, + And all the rest are dead."--LONGFELLOW. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII AND LAST + + +HERE begins the never-to-be-too-much-studied account of the +nine-hundred-and-ninety-ninth part of the wonderful things which Tom saw +on his journey to the Other-end-of-Nowhere; which all good little +children are requested to read; that, if ever they get to the +Other-end-of-Nowhere, as they may very probably do, they may not burst +out laughing, or try to run away, or do any other silly vulgar thing +which may offend Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid. + +Now, as soon as Tom had left Peacepool, he came to the white lap of the +great sea-mother, ten thousand fathoms deep; where she makes world-pap +all day long, for the steam-giants to knead, and the fire-giants to +bake, till it has risen and hardened into mountain-loaves and +island-cakes. + +And there Tom was very near being kneaded up in the world-pap, and +turned into a fossil water-baby; which would have astonished the +Geological Society of New Zealand some hundreds of thousands of years +hence. + +For, as he walked along in the silence of the sea-twilight, on the soft +white ocean floor, he was aware of a hissing, and a roaring, and a +thumping, and a pumping, as of all the steam-engines in the world at +once. And, when he came near, the water grew boiling-hot; not that that +hurt him in the least: but it also grew as foul as gruel; and every +moment he stumbled over dead shells, and fish, and sharks, and seals, +and whales, which had been killed by the hot water. + +And at last he came to the great sea-serpent himself, lying dead at the +bottom; and as he was too thick to scramble over, Tom had to walk round +him three-quarters of a mile and more, which put him out of his path +sadly; and, when he had got round, he came to the place called Stop. And +there he stopped, and just in time. + +For he was on the edge of a vast hole in the bottom of the sea, up which +was rushing and roaring clear steam enough to work all the engines in +the world at once; so clear, indeed, that it was quite light at moments; +and Tom could see almost up to the top of the water above, and down +below into the pit for nobody knows how far. + +But, as soon as he bent his head over the edge, he got such a rap on the +nose from pebbles, that he jumped back again; for the steam, as it +rushed up, rasped away the sides of the hole, and hurled it up into the +sea in a shower of mud and gravel and ashes; and then it spread all +around, and sank again, and covered in the dead fish so fast, that +before Tom had stood there five minutes he was buried in silt up to his +ankles, and began to be afraid that he should have been buried alive. + +And perhaps he would have been, but that while he was thinking, the +whole piece of ground on which he stood was torn off and blown upwards, +and away flew Tom a mile up through the sea, wondering what was coming +next. + +At last he stopped--thump! and found himself tight in the legs of the +most wonderful bogy which he had ever seen. + +It had I don't know how many wings, as big as the sails of a windmill, +and spread out in a ring like them; and with them it hovered over the +steam which rushed up, as a ball hovers over the top of a fountain. And +for every wing above it had a leg below, with a claw like a comb at the +tip, and a nostril at the root; and in the middle it had no stomach and +one eye; and as for its mouth, that was all on one side, as the +madreporiform tubercle in a star-fish is. Well, it was a very strange +beast; but no stranger than some dozens which you may see. + +"What do you want here," it cried quite peevishly, "getting in my way?" +and it tried to drop Tom: but he held on tight to its claws, thinking +himself safer where he was. + +So Tom told him who he was, and what his errand was. And the thing +winked its one eye, and sneered: + +"I am too old to be taken in in that way. You are come after gold--I +know you are." + +"Gold! What is gold?" And really Tom did not know; but: the suspicious +old bogy would not believe him. + +But after a while Tom began to understand a little. For, as the vapours +came up out of the hole, the bogy smelt them with his nostrils, and +combed them and sorted them with his combs; and then, when they steamed +up through them against his wings, they were changed into showers and +streams of metal. From one wing fell gold-dust, and from another silver, +and from another copper, and from another tin, and from another lead, +and so on, and sank into the soft mud, into veins and cracks, and +hardened there. Whereby it comes to pass that the rocks are full of +metal. + +But, all of a sudden, somebody shut off the steam below, and the hole +was left empty in an instant: and then down rushed the water into the +hole, in such a whirlpool that the bogy spun round and round as fast as +a teetotum. But that was all in his day's work, like a fair fall with +the hounds; so all he did was to say to Tom-- + +"Now is your time, youngster, to get down, if you are in earnest, which +I don't believe." + +"You'll soon see," said Tom; and away he went, as bold as Baron +Munchausen, and shot down the rushing cataract like a salmon at +Ballisodare. + +And, when he got to the bottom, he swam till he was washed on shore safe +upon the Other-end-of-Nowhere; and he found it, to his surprise, as most +other people do, much more like This-End-of-Somewhere than he had been +in the habit of expecting. + +And first he went through Waste-paper-land, where all the stupid books +lie in heaps, up hill and down dale, like leaves in a winter wood; and +there he saw people digging and grubbing among them, to make worse books +out of bad ones, and thrashing chaff to save the dust of it; and a very +good trade they drove thereby, especially among children. + +Then he went by the sea of slops, to the mountain of messes, and the +territory of tuck, where the ground was very sticky, for it was all made +of bad toffee (not Everton toffee, of course), and full of deep cracks +and holes choked with wind-fallen fruit, and green gooseberries, and +sloes, and crabs, and whinberries, and hips and haws, and all the nasty +things which little children will eat, if they can get them. But the +fairies hide them out of the way in that country as fast as they can, +and very hard work they have, and of very little use it is. For as fast +as they hide away the old trash, foolish and wicked people make fresh +trash full of lime and poisonous paints, and actually go and steal +receipts out of old Madame Science's big book to invent poisons for +little children, and sell them at wakes and fairs and tuck-shops. Very +well. Let them go on. Dr. Letheby and Dr. Hassall cannot catch them, +though they are setting traps for them all day long. But the Fairy with +the birch-rod will catch them all in time, and make them begin at one +corner of their shops, and eat their way out at the other: by which time +they will have got such stomach-aches as will cure them of poisoning +little children. + +Next he saw all the little people in the world, writing all the little +books in the world, about all the other little people in the world; +probably because they had no great people to write about: and if the +names of the books were not Squeeky, nor the Pump-lighter, nor the +Narrow Narrow World, nor the Hills of the Chattermuch, nor the +Children's Twaddeday, why then they were something else. And all the +rest of the little people in the world read the books, and thought +themselves each as good as the President; and perhaps they were right, +for every one knows his own business best. But Tom thought he would +sooner have a jolly good fairy tale, about Jack the Giant-killer or +Beauty and the Beast, which taught him something that he didn't know +already. + +And next he came to the centre of Creation (the hub, they call it +there), which lies in latitude 42.21 deg. south, and longitude 108.56 +deg. east. + +And there he found all the wise people instructing mankind in the +science of spirit-rapping, while their house was burning over their +heads: and when Tom told them of the fire, they held an indignation +meeting forthwith, and unanimously determined to hang Tom's dog for +coming into their country with gunpowder in his mouth. Tom couldn't help +saying that though they did fancy they had carried all the wit away with +them out of Lincolnshire two hundred years ago, yet if they had had one +such Lincolnshire nobleman among them as good old Lord Yarborough, he +would have called for the fire-engines before he hanged other people's +dogs. But it was of no use, and the dog was hanged: and Tom couldn't +even have his carcase; for they had abolished the have-his-carcase act +in that country, for fear lest when rogues fell out, honest men should +come by their own. And so they would have succeeded perfectly, as they +always do, only that (as they also always do) they failed in one little +particular, viz. that the dog would not die, being a water-dog, but bit +their fingers so abominably that they were forced to let him go, and Tom +likewise, as British subjects. Whereon they recommenced rapping for the +spirits of their fathers; and very much astonished the poor old spirits +were when they came, and saw how, according to the laws of Mrs. +Bedonebyasyoudid, their descendants had weakened their constitution by +hard living. + +Then came Tom to the Island of Polupragmosyne (which some call Rogues' +Harbour; but they are wrong; for that is in the middle of Bramshill +Bushes, and the county police have cleared it out long ago). There every +one knows his neighbour's business better than his own; and a very noisy +place it is, as might be expected, considering that all the inhabitants +are _ex officio_ on the wrong side of the house in the "Parliament of +Man, and the Federation of the World"; and are always making wry mouths, +and crying that the fairies' grapes were sour. + +There Tom saw ploughs drawing horses, nails driving hammers, birds' +nests taking boys, books making authors, bulls keeping china-shops, +monkeys shaving cats, dead dogs drilling live lions, blind brigadiers +shelfed as principals of colleges, play-actors not in the least shelfed +as popular preachers; and, in short, every one set to do something which +he had not learnt, because in what he had learnt, or pretended to learn, +he had failed. + +There stands the Pantheon of the Great Unsuccessful, from the builders +of the Tower of Babel to those of the Trafalgar Fountains; in which +politicians lecture on the constitutions which ought to have marched, +conspirators on the revolutions which ought to have succeeded, +economists on the schemes which ought to have made every one's fortune, +and projectors on the discoveries which ought to have set the Thames on +fire. There cobblers lecture on orthopedy (whatsoever that may be) +because they cannot sell their shoes; and poets on AEsthetics (whatsoever +that may be) because they cannot sell their poetry. There philosophers +demonstrate that England would be the freest and richest country in the +world, if she would only turn Papist again; penny-a-liners abuse the +_Times_, because they have not wit enough to get on its staff; and young +ladies walk about with lockets of Charles the First's hair (or of +somebody else's, when the Jews' genuine stock is used up), inscribed +with the neat and appropriate legend--which indeed is popular through +all that land, and which, I hope, you will learn to translate in due +time and to perpend likewise:-- + + "_Victrix causa diis placuit, sed victa puellis._" + +When he got into the middle of the town, they all set on him at once, +to show him his way; or rather, to show him that he did not know his +way; for as for asking him what way he wanted to go, no one ever thought +of that. + +But one pulled him hither, and another poked him thither, and a third +cried-- + +"You mustn't go west, I tell you; it is destruction to go west." + +"But I am not going west, as you may see," said Tom. + +And another, "The east lies here, my dear; I assure you this is the +east." + +"But I don't want to go east," said Tom. + +"Well, then, at all events, whichever way you are going, you are going +wrong," cried they all with one voice--which was the only thing which +they ever agreed about; and all pointed at once to all the +thirty-and-two points of the compass, till Tom thought all the +sign-posts in England had got together, and fallen fighting. + +And whether he would have ever escaped out of the town, it is hard to +say, if the dog had not taken it into his head that they were going to +pull his master in pieces, and tackled them so sharply about the +gastrocnemius muscle, that he gave them some business of their own to +think of at last; and while they were rubbing their bitten calves, Tom +and the dog got safe away. + +On the borders of that island he found Gotham, where the wise men live; +the same who dragged the pond because the moon had fallen into it, and +planted a hedge round the cuckoo, to keep spring all the year. And he +found them bricking up the town gate, because it was so wide that little +folks could not get through. And, when he asked why, they told him they +were expanding their liturgy. So he went on; for it was no business of +his: only he could not help saying that in his country, if the kitten +could not get in at the same hole as the cat, she might stay outside and +mew. + +But he saw the end of such fellows, when he came to the island of the +Golden Asses, where nothing but thistles grow. For there they were all +turned into mokes with ears a yard long, for meddling with matters which +they do not understand, as Lucius did in the story. And like him, mokes +they must remain, till, by the laws of development, the thistles develop +into roses. Till then, they must comfort themselves with the thought, +that the longer their ears are, the thicker their hides; and so a good +beating don't hurt them. + +Then came Tom to the great land of Hearsay, in which are no less than +thirty and odd kings, beside half a dozen Republics, and perhaps more by +next mail. + +And there he fell in with a deep, dark, deadly, and destructive war, +waged by the princes and potentates of those parts, both spiritual and +temporal, against what do you think? One thing I am sure of. That unless +I told you, you would never know; nor how they waged that war either; +for all their strategy and art military consisted in the safe and easy +process of stopping their ears and screaming, "Oh, don't tell us!" and +then running away. + +So when Tom came into that land, he found them all, high and low, man, +woman, and child, running for their lives day and night continually, and +entreating not to be told they didn't know what: only the land being an +island, and they having a dislike to the water (being a musty lot for +the most part), they ran round and round the shore for ever, which (as +the island was exactly of the same circumference as the planet on which +we have the honour of living) was hard work, especially to those who had +business to look after. But before them, as bandmaster and fugleman, ran +a gentleman shearing a pig; the melodious strains of which animal led +them for ever, if not to conquest, still to flight; and kept up their +spirits mightily with the thought that they would at least have the +pig's wool for their pains. + +And running after them, day and night, came such a poor, lean, seedy, +hard-worked old giant, as ought to have been cockered up, and had a good +dinner given him, and a good wife found him, and been set to play with +little children; and then he would have been a very presentable old +fellow after all; for he had a heart, though it was considerably +overgrown with brains. + +He was made up principally of fish bones and parchment, put together +with wire and Canada balsam; and smelt strongly of spirits, though he +never drank anything but water: but spirits he used somehow, there was +no denying. He had a great pair of spectacles on his nose, and a +butterfly-net in one hand, and a geological hammer in the other; and +was hung all over with pockets, full of collecting boxes, bottles, +microscopes, telescopes, barometers, ordnance maps, scalpels, forceps, +photographic apparatus, and all other tackle for finding out everything +about everything, and a little more too. And, most strange of all, he +was running not forwards but backwards, as fast as he could. + +Away all the good folks ran from him, except Tom, who stood his ground +and dodged between his legs; and the giant, when he had passed him, +looked down, and cried, as if he was quite pleased and comforted,-- + +"What? who are you? And you actually don't run away, like all the rest?" +But he had to take his spectacles off, Tom remarked, in order to see him +plainly. + +Tom told him who he was; and the giant pulled out a bottle and a cork +instantly, to collect him with. + +But Tom was too sharp for that, and dodged between his legs and in front +of him; and then the giant could not see him at all. + +"No, no, no!" said Tom, "I've not been round the world, and through the +world, and up to Mother Carey's haven, beside being caught in a net and +called a Holothurian and a Cephalopod, to be bottled up by any old giant +like you." + +And when the giant understood what a great traveller Tom had been, he +made a truce with him at once, and would have kept him there to this day +to pick his brains, so delighted was he at finding any one to tell him +what he did not know before. + +"Ah, you lucky little dog!" said he at last, quite simply--for he was +the simplest, pleasantest, honestest, kindliest old Dominie Sampson of a +giant that ever turned the world upside down without intending it--"ah, +you lucky little dog! If I had only been where you have been, to see +what you have seen!" + +"Well," said Tom, "if you want to do that, you had best put your head +under water for a few hours, as I did, and turn into a water-baby, or +some other baby, and then you might have a chance." + +"Turn into a baby, eh? If I could do that, and know what was happening +to me for but one hour, I should know everything then, and be at rest. +But I can't; I can't be a little child again; and I suppose if I could, +it would be no use, because then I should know nothing about what was +happening to me. Ah, you lucky little dog!" said the poor old giant. + +"But why do you run after all these poor people?" said Tom, who liked +the giant very much. + +"My dear, it's they that have been running after me, father and son, for +hundreds and hundreds of years, throwing stones at me till they have +knocked off my spectacles fifty times, and calling me a malignant and a +turbaned Turk, who beat a Venetian and traduced the State--goodness only +knows what they mean, for I never read poetry--and hunting me round and +round--though catch me they can't, for every time I go over the same +ground, I go the faster, and grow the bigger. While all I want is to be +friends with them, and to tell them something to their advantage, like +Mr. Joseph Ady: only somehow they are so strangely afraid of hearing it. +But, I suppose I am not a man of the world, and have no tact." + +"But why don't you turn round and tell them so?" + +"Because I can't. You see, I am one of the sons of Epimetheus, and must +go backwards, if I am to go at all." + +"But why don't you stop, and let them come up to you?" + +"Why, my dear, only think. If I did, all the butterflies and +cockyolybirds would fly past me, and then I should catch no more new +species, and should grow rusty and mouldy, and die. And I don't intend +to do that, my dear; for I have a destiny before me, they say: though +what it is I don't know, and don't care." + +"Don't care?" said Tom. + +"No. Do the duty which lies nearest you, and catch the first beetle you +come across, is my motto; and I have thriven by it for some hundred +years. Now I must go on. Dear me, while I have been talking to you, at +least nine new species have escaped me." + +And on went the giant, behind before, like a bull in a china-shop, till +he ran into the steeple of the great idol temple (for they are all +idolaters in those parts, of course, else they would never be afraid of +giants), and knocked the upper half clean off, hurting himself horribly +about the small of the back. + +But little he cared; for as soon as the ruins of the steeple were well +between his legs, he poked and peered among the falling stones, and +shifted his spectacles, and pulled out his pocket-magnifier, and cried-- + +"An entirely new Oniscus, and three obscure Podurellae! Besides a moth +which M. le Roi des Papillons (though he, like all Frenchmen, is given +to hasty inductions) says is confined to the limits of the Glacial +Drift. This is most important!" + +And down he sat on the nave of the temple (not being a man of the world) +to examine his Podurellae. Whereon (as was to be expected) the roof caved +in bodily, smashing the idols, and sending the priests flying out of +doors and windows, like rabbits out of a burrow when a ferret goes in. + +But he never heeded; for out of the dust flew a bat, and the giant had +him in a moment. + +"Dear me! This is even more important! Here is a cognate species to that +which Macgilliwaukie Brown insists is confined to the Buddhist temples +of Little Thibet; and now when I look at it, it may be only a variety +produced by difference of climate!" + +And having bagged his bat, up he got, and on he went; while all the +people ran, being in none the better humour for having their temple +smashed for the sake of three obscure species of Podurella, and a +Buddhist bat. + +"Well," thought Tom, "this is a very pretty quarrel, with a good deal to +be said on both sides. But it is no business of mine." + +And no more it was, because he was a water-baby, and had the original +sow by the right ear; which you will never have, unless you be a baby, +whether of the water, the land, or the air, matters not, provided you +can only keep on continually being a baby. + +So the giant ran round after the people, and the people ran round after +the giant, and they are running unto this day for aught I know, or do +not know; and will run till either he, or they, or both, turn into +little children. And then, as Shakespeare says (and therefore it must be +true)-- + + "_Jack shall have Gill + Nought shall go ill + The man shall have his mare again, and all go well._" + +Then Tom came to a very famous island, which was called, in the days of +the great traveller Captain Gulliver, the Isle of Laputa. But Mrs. +Bedonebyasyoudid has named it over again the Isle of Tomtoddies, all +heads and no bodies. + +And when Tom came near it, he heard such a grumbling and grunting and +growling and wailing and weeping and whining that he thought people must +be ringing little pigs, or cropping puppies' ears, or drowning kittens: +but when he came nearer still, he began to hear words among the noise; +which was the Tomtoddies' song which they sing morning and evening, and +all night too, to their great idol Examination-- + + "_I can't learn my lesson: the examiner's coming!_" + +And that was the only song which they knew. + +And when Tom got on shore the first thing he saw was a great pillar, on +one side of which was inscribed, "Playthings not allowed here"; at which +he was so shocked that he would not stay to see what was written on the +other side. Then he looked round for the people of the island: but +instead of men, women, and children, he found nothing but turnips and +radishes, beet and mangold wurzel, without a single green leaf among +them, and half of them burst and decayed, with toadstools growing out of +them. Those which were left began crying to Tom, in half a dozen +different languages at once, and all of them badly spoken, "I can't +learn my lesson; do come and help me!" And one cried, "Can you show me +how to extract this square root?" + +And another, "Can you tell me the distance between [Greek: a] Lyrae and +[Greek: b] Camelopardis?" + +And another, "What is the latitude and longitude of Snooksville, in +Noman's County, Oregon, U.S.?" + +And another, "What was the name of Mutius Scaevola's thirteenth cousin's +grandmother's maid's cat?" + +And another, "How long would it take a school-inspector of average +activity to tumble head over heels from London to York?" + +And another, "Can you tell me the name of a place that nobody ever heard +of, where nothing ever happened, in a country which has not been +discovered yet?" + +And another, "Can you show me how to correct this hopelessly corrupt +passage of Graidiocolosyrtus Tabenniticus, on the cause why crocodiles +have no tongues?" + +And so on, and so on, and so on, till one would have thought they were +all trying for tide-waiters' places, or cornetcies in the heavy +dragoons. + +"And what good on earth will it do you if I did tell you?" quoth Tom. + +Well, they didn't know that: all they knew was the examiner was coming. + +Then Tom stumbled on the hugest and softest nimblecomequick turnip you +ever saw filling a hole in a crop of swedes, and it cried to him, "Can +you tell me anything at all about anything you like?" + +"About what?" says Tom. + +"About anything you like; for as fast as I learn things I forget them +again. So my mamma says that my intellect is not adapted for methodic +science, and says that I must go in for general information." + +Tom told him that he did not know general information, nor any officers +in the army; only he had a friend once that went for a drummer: but he +could tell him a great many strange things which he had seen in his +travels. + +So he told him prettily enough, while the poor turnip listened very +carefully; and the more he listened, the more he forgot, and the more +water ran out of him. + +Tom thought he was crying: but it was only his poor brains running away, +from being worked so hard; and as Tom talked, the unhappy turnip +streamed down all over with juice, and split and shrank till nothing was +left of him but rind and water; whereat Tom ran away in a fright, for he +thought he might be taken up for killing the turnip. + +But, on the contrary, the turnip's parents were highly delighted, and +considered him a saint and a martyr, and put up a long inscription over +his tomb about his wonderful talents, early development, and +unparalleled precocity. Were they not a foolish couple? But there was a +still more foolish couple next to them, who were beating a wretched +little radish, no bigger than my thumb, for sullenness and obstinacy and +wilful stupidity, and never knew that the reason why it couldn't learn +or hardly even speak was, that there was a great worm inside it eating +out all its brains. But even they are no foolisher than some hundred +score of papas and mammas, who fetch the rod when they ought to fetch a +new toy, and send to the dark cupboard instead of to the doctor. + +Tom was so puzzled and frightened with all he saw, that he was longing +to ask the meaning of it; and at last he stumbled over a respectable +old stick lying half covered with earth. But a very stout and worthy +stick it was, for it belonged to good Roger Ascham in old time, and had +carved on its head King Edward the Sixth, with the Bible in his hand. + +"You see," said the stick, "there were as pretty little children once as +you could wish to see, and might have been so still if they had been +only left to grow up like human beings, and then handed over to me; but +their foolish fathers and mothers, instead of letting them pick flowers, +and make dirt-pies, and get birds' nests, and dance round the gooseberry +bush, as little children should, kept them always at lessons, working, +working, working, learning week-day lessons all week-days, and Sunday +lessons all Sunday, and weekly examinations every Saturday, and monthly +examinations every month, and yearly examinations every year, everything +seven times over, as if once was not enough, and enough as good as a +feast--till their brains grew big, and their bodies grew small, and they +were all changed into turnips, with little but water inside; and still +their foolish parents actually pick the leaves off them as fast as they +grow, lest they should have anything green about them." + +"Ah!" said Tom, "if dear Mrs. Doasyouwouldbedoneby knew of it she would +send them a lot of tops, and balls, and marbles, and ninepins, and make +them all as jolly as sand-boys." + +"It would be no use," said the stick. "They can't play now, if they +tried. Don't you see how their legs have turned to roots and grown into +the ground, by never taking any exercise, but sapping and moping always +in the same place? But here comes the Examiner-of-all-Examiners. So you +had better get away, I warn you, or he will examine you and your dog +into the bargain, and set him to examine all the other dogs, and you to +examine all the other water-babies. There is no escaping out of his +hands, for his nose is nine thousand miles long, and can go down +chimneys, and through keyholes, upstairs, downstairs, in my lady's +chamber, examining all little boys, and the little boys' tutors +likewise. But when he is thrashed--so Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid has promised +me--I shall have the thrashing of him: and if I don't lay it on with a +will it's a pity." + +Tom went off: but rather slowly and surlily; for he was somewhat minded +to face this same Examiner-of-all-Examiners, who came striding among the +poor turnips, binding heavy burdens and grievous to be borne, and laying +them on little children's shoulders, like the Scribes and Pharisees of +old, and not touching the same with one of his fingers; for he had +plenty of money, and a fine house to live in, and so forth; which was +more than the poor little turnips had. + +But when he got near, he looked so big and burly and dictatorial, and +shouted so loud to Tom, to come and be examined, that Tom ran for his +life, and the dog too. And really it was time; for the poor turnips, in +their hurry and fright, crammed themselves so fast to be ready for the +Examiner, that they burst and popped by dozens all round him, till the +place sounded like Aldershot on a field-day, and Tom thought he should +be blown into the air, dog and all. + +As he went down to the shore he passed the poor turnip's new tomb. But +Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid had taken away the epitaph about talents and +precocity and development, and put up one of her own instead which Tom +thought much more sensible:-- + + "_Instruction sore long time I bore, + And cramming was in vain; + Till heaven did please my woes to ease + With water on the brain._" + +So Tom jumped into the sea, and swam on his way, singing:-- + + "_Farewell, Tomtoddies all; I thank my stars + That nought I know save those three royal r's: + Reading and riting sure, with rithmetick, + Will help a lad of sense through thin and thick._" + +Whereby you may see that Tom was no poet: but no more was John Bunyan, +though he was as wise a man as you will meet in a month of Sundays. + +And next he came to Oldwivesfabledom, where the folks were all heathens, +and worshipped a howling ape. + +And there he found a little boy sitting in the middle of the road, and +crying bitterly. + +"What are you crying for?" said Tom. + +"Because I am not as frightened as I could wish to be." + +"Not frightened? You are a queer little chap: but, if you want to be +frightened, here goes--Boo!" + +"Ah," said the little boy, "that is very kind of you; but I don't feel +that it has made any impression." + +Tom offered to upset him, punch him, stamp on him, fettle him over the +head with a brick, or anything else whatsoever which would give him the +slightest comfort. + +But he only thanked Tom very civilly, in fine long words which he had +heard other folk use, and which, therefore, he thought were fit and +proper to use himself; and cried on till his papa and mamma came, and +sent off for the Powwow man immediately. And a very good-natured +gentleman and lady they were, though they were heathens; and talked +quite pleasantly to Tom about his travels, till the Powwow man arrived, +with his thunderbox under his arm. + +And a well-fed, ill-favoured gentleman he was, as ever served Her +Majesty at Portland. Tom was a little frightened at first; for he +thought it was Grimes. But he soon saw his mistake: for Grimes always +looked a man in the face; and this fellow never did. And when he spoke, +it was fire and smoke; and when he sneezed, it was squibs and crackers; +and when he cried (which he did whenever it paid him), it was boiling +pitch; and some of it was sure to stick. + +"Here we are again!" cried he, like the clown in a pantomime. "So you +can't feel frightened, my little dear--eh? I'll do that for you. I'll +make an impression on you! Yah! Boo! Whirroo! Hullabaloo!" + +And he rattled, thumped, brandished his thunderbox, yelled, shouted, +raved, roared, stamped, and danced corrobory like any black fellow; and +then he touched a spring in the thunderbox, and out popped turnip-ghosts +and magic-lanthorns and pasteboard bogies and spring-heeled Jacks, and +sallaballas, with such a horrid din, clatter, clank, roll, rattle, and +roar, that the little boy turned up the whites of his eyes, and fainted +right away. + +And at that his poor heathen papa and mamma were as much delighted as if +they had found a gold mine; and fell down upon their knees before the +Powwow man, and gave him a palanquin with a pole of solid silver and +curtains of cloth of gold; and carried him about in it on their own +backs: but as soon as they had taken him up, the pole stuck to their +shoulders, and they could not set him down any more, but carried him on +willynilly, as Sinbad carried the old man of the sea: which was a +pitiable sight to see; for the father was a very brave officer, and wore +two swords and a blue button; and the mother was as pretty a lady as +ever had pinched feet like a Chinese. But you see, they had chosen to do +a foolish thing just once too often; so, by the laws of Mrs. +Bedonebyasyoudid, they had to go on doing it whether they chose or not, +till the coming of the Cocqcigrues. + +Ah! don't you wish that some one would go and convert those poor +heathens, and teach them not to frighten their little children into +fits? + +"Now, then," said the Powwow man to Tom, "wouldn't you like to be +frightened, my little dear? For I can see plainly that you are a very +wicked, naughty, graceless, reprobate boy." + +"You're another," quoth Tom, very sturdily. And when the man ran at him, +and cried "Boo!" Tom ran at him in return, and cried "Boo!" likewise, +right in his face, and set the little dog upon him; and at his legs the +dog went. + +At which, if you will believe it, the fellow turned tail, thunderbox and +all, with a "Woof!" like an old sow on the common; and ran for his life, +screaming, "Help! thieves! murder! fire! He is going to kill me! I am a +ruined man! He will murder me; and break, burn, and destroy my precious +and invaluable thunderbox; and then you will have no more +thunder-showers in the land. Help! help! help!" + +At which the papa and mamma and all the people of Oldwivesfabledom flew +at Tom, shouting, "Oh, the wicked, impudent, hard-hearted, graceless +boy! Beat him, kick him, shoot him, drown him, hang him, burn him!" and +so forth: but luckily they had nothing to shoot, hang, or burn him with, +for the fairies had hid all the killing-tackle out of the way a little +while before; so they could only pelt him with stones; and some of the +stones went clean through him, and came out the other side. But he did +not mind that a bit; for the holes closed up again as fast as they were +made, because he was a water-baby. However, he was very glad when he was +safe out of the country, for the noise there made him all but deaf. + +Then he came to a very quiet place, called Leaveheavenalone. And there +the sun was drawing water out of the sea to make steam-threads, and the +wind was twisting them up to make cloud-patterns, till they had worked +between them the loveliest wedding veil of Chantilly lace, and hung it +up in their own Crystal Palace for any one to buy who could afford it; +while the good old sea never grudged, for she knew they would pay her +back honestly. So the sun span, and the wind wove, and all went well +with the great steam-loom; as is likely, considering--and +considering--and considering-- + +And at last, after innumerable adventures, each more wonderful than the +last, he saw before him a huge building, much bigger, and--what is most +surprising--a little uglier than a certain new lunatic asylum, but not +built quite of the same materials. None of it, at least--or, indeed, for +aught that I ever saw, any part of any other building whatsoever--is +cased with nine-inch brick inside and out, and filled up with rubble +between the walls, in order that any gentleman who has been confined +during Her Majesty's pleasure may be unconfined during his own pleasure, +and take a walk in the neighbouring park to improve his spirits, after +an hour's light and wholesome labour with his dinner-fork or one of the +legs of his iron bedstead. No. The walls of this building were built on +an entirely different principle, which need not be described, as it has +not yet been discovered. + +Tom walked towards this great building, wondering what it was, and +having a strange fancy that he might find Mr. Grimes inside it, till he +saw running toward him, and shouting "Stop!" three or four people, who, +when they came nearer, were nothing else than policemen's truncheons, +running along without legs or arms. + +Tom was not astonished. He was long past that. Besides, he had seen the +naviculae in the water move nobody knows how, a hundred times, without +arms, or legs, or anything to stand in their stead. Neither was he +frightened; for he had been doing no harm. + +So he stopped; and, when the foremost truncheon came up and asked his +business, he showed Mother Carey's pass; and the truncheon looked at it +in the oddest fashion; for he had one eye in the middle of his upper +end, so that when he looked at anything, being quite stiff, he had to +slope himself, and poke himself, till it was a wonder why he did not +tumble over; but, being quite full of the spirit of justice (as all +policemen, and their truncheons, ought to be), he was always in a +position of stable equilibrium, whichever way he put himself. + +"All right--pass on," said he at last. And then he added: "I had better +go with you, young man." And Tom had no objection, for such company was +both respectable and safe; so the truncheon coiled its thong neatly +round its handle, to prevent tripping itself up--for the thong had got +loose in running--and marched on by Tom's side. + +"Why have you no policeman to carry you?" asked Tom, after a while. + +"Because we are not like those clumsy-made truncheons in the land-world, +which cannot go without having a whole man to carry them about. We do +our own work for ourselves; and do it very well, though I say it who +should not." + +"Then why have you a thong to your handle?" asked Tom. + +"To hang ourselves up by, of course, when we are off duty." + +Tom had got his answer, and had no more to say, till they came up to the +great iron door of the prison. And there the truncheon knocked twice, +with its own head. + +A wicket in the door opened, and out looked a tremendous old brass +blunderbuss charged up to the muzzle with slugs, who was the porter; and +Tom started back a little at the sight of him. + +"What case is this?" he asked in a deep voice, out of his broad bell +mouth. + +"If you please, sir, it is no case; only a young gentleman from her +ladyship, who wants to see Grimes, the master-sweep." + +"Grimes?" said the blunderbuss. And he pulled in his muzzle, perhaps to +look over his prison-lists. + +"Grimes is up chimney No. 345," he said from inside. "So the young +gentleman had better go on to the roof." + +Tom looked up at the enormous wall, which seemed at least ninety miles +high, and wondered how he should ever get up: but, when he hinted that +to the truncheon, it settled the matter in a moment. For it whisked +round, and gave him such a shove behind as sent him up to the roof in no +time, with his little dog under his arm. + +And there he walked along the leads, till he met another truncheon, and +told him his errand. + +"Very good," it said. "Come along: but it will be of no use. He is the +most unremorseful, hard-hearted, foul-mouthed fellow I have in charge; +and thinks about nothing but beer and pipes, which are not allowed here, +of course." + +So they walked along over the leads, and very sooty they were, and Tom +thought the chimneys must want sweeping very much. But he was surprised +to see that the soot did not stick to his feet, or dirty them in the +least. Neither did the live coals, which were lying about in plenty, +burn him; for, being a water-baby, his radical humours were of a moist +and cold nature, as you may read at large in Lemnius, Cardan, Van +Helmont, and other gentlemen, who knew as much as they could, and no man +can know more. + +And at last they came to chimney No. 345. Out of the top of it, his head +and shoulders just showing, stuck poor Mr. Grimes, so sooty, and +bleared, and ugly, that Tom could hardly bear to look at him. And in his +mouth was a pipe; but it was not a-light; though he was pulling at it +with all his might. + +"Attention, Mr. Grimes," said the truncheon; "here is a gentleman come +to see you." + +But Mr. Grimes only said bad words; and kept grumbling, "My pipe won't +draw. My pipe won't draw." + +"Keep a civil tongue, and attend!" said the truncheon; and popped up +just like Punch, hitting Grimes such a crack over the head with itself, +that his brains rattled inside like a dried walnut in its shell. He +tried to get his hands out, and rub the place: but he could not, for +they were stuck fast in the chimney. Now he was forced to attend. + +"Hey!" he said, "why, it's Tom! I suppose you have come here to laugh at +me, you spiteful little atomy?" + +Tom assured him he had not, but only wanted to help him. + +"I don't want anything except beer, and that I can't get; and a light to +this bothering pipe, and that I can't get either." + +"I'll get you one," said Tom; and he took up a live coal (there were +plenty lying about) and put it to Grimes' pipe: but it went out +instantly. + +"It's no use," said the truncheon, leaning itself up against the chimney +and looking on. "I tell you, it is no use. His heart is so cold that it +freezes everything that comes near him. You will see that presently, +plain enough." + +"Oh, of course, it's my fault. Everything's always my fault," said +Grimes. "Now don't go to hit me again" (for the truncheon started +upright, and looked very wicked); "you know, if my arms were only free, +you daren't hit me then." + +The truncheon leant back against the chimney, and took no notice of the +personal insult, like a well-trained policeman as it was, though he was +ready enough to avenge any transgression against morality or order. + +"But can't I help you in any other way? Can't I help you to get out of +this chimney?" said Tom. + +"No," interposed the truncheon; "he has come to the place where +everybody must help themselves; and he will find it out, I hope, before +he has done with me." + +"Oh, yes," said Grimes, "of course it's me. Did I ask to be brought here +into the prison? Did I ask to be set to sweep your foul chimneys? Did I +ask to have lighted straw put under me to make me go up? Did I ask to +stick fast in the very first chimney of all, because it was so +shamefully clogged up with soot? Did I ask to stay here--I don't know +how long--a hundred years, I do believe, and never get my pipe, nor my +beer, nor nothing fit for a beast, let alone a man?" + +"No," answered a solemn voice behind. "No more did Tom, when you behaved +to him in the very same way." + +It was Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid. And, when the truncheon saw her, it +started bolt upright--Attention!--and made such a low bow, that if it +had not been full of the spirit of justice, it must have tumbled on its +end, and probably hurt its one eye. And Tom made his bow too. + +"Oh, ma'am," he said, "don't think about me; that's all past and gone, +and good times and bad times and all times pass over. But may not I help +poor Mr. Grimes? Mayn't I try and get some of these bricks away, that he +may move his arms?" + +"You may try, of course," she said. + +So Tom pulled and tugged at the bricks: but he could not move one. And +then he tried to wipe Mr. Grimes' face: but the soot would not come off. + +"Oh, dear!" he said. "I have come all this way, through all these +terrible places, to help you, and now I am of no use at all." + +"You had best leave me alone," said Grimes; "you are a good-natured +forgiving little chap, and that's truth; but you'd best be off. The +hail's coming on soon, and it will beat the eyes out of your little +head." + +"What hail?" + +"Why, hail that falls every evening here; and, till it comes close to +me, it's like so much warm rain: but then it turns to hail over my head, +and knocks me about like small shot." + +"That hail will never come any more," said the strange lady. "I have +told you before what it was. It was your mother's tears, those which +she shed when she prayed for you by her bedside; but your cold heart +froze it into hail. But she is gone to heaven now, and will weep no more +for her graceless son." + +Then Grimes was silent awhile; and then he looked very sad. + +"So my old mother's gone, and I never there to speak to her! Ah! a good +woman she was, and might have been a happy one, in her little school +there in Vendale, if it hadn't been for me and my bad ways." + +"Did she keep the school in Vendale?" asked Tom. And then he told Grimes +all the story of his going to her house, and how she could not abide the +sight of a chimney-sweep, and then how kind she was, and how he turned +into a water-baby. + +"Ah!" said Grimes, "good reason she had to hate the sight of a +chimney-sweep. I ran away from her and took up with the sweeps, and +never let her know where I was, nor sent her a penny to help her, and +now it's too late--too late!" said Mr. Grimes. + +And he began crying and blubbering like a great baby, till his pipe +dropped out of his mouth, and broke all to bits. + +"Oh, dear, if I was but a little chap in Vendale again, to see the clear +beck, and the apple-orchard, and the yew-hedge, how different I would go +on! But it's too late now. So you go along, you kind little chap, and +don't stand to look at a man crying, that's old enough to be your +father, and never feared the face of man, nor of worse neither. But I'm +beat now, and beat I must be. I've made my bed, and I must lie on it. +Foul I would be, and foul I am, as an Irishwoman said to me once; and +little I heeded it. It's all my own fault: but it's too late." And he +cried so bitterly that Tom began crying too. + +"Never too late," said the fairy, in such a strange soft new voice that +Tom looked up at her; and she was so beautiful for the moment, that Tom +half fancied she was her sister. + +No more was it too late. For, as poor Grimes cried and blubbered on, his +own tears did what his mother's could not do, and Tom's could not do, +and nobody's on earth could do for him; for they washed the soot off his +face and off his clothes; and then they washed the mortar away from +between the bricks; and the chimney crumbled down; and Grimes began to +get out of it. + +Up jumped the truncheon, and was going to hit him on the crown a +tremendous thump, and drive him down again like a cork into a bottle. +But the strange lady put it aside. + +"Will you obey me if I give you a chance?" + +"As you please, ma'am. You're stronger than me--that I know too well, +and wiser than me, I know too well also. And, as for being my own +master, I've fared ill enough with that as yet. So whatever your +ladyship pleases to order me; for I'm beat, and that's the truth." + +"Be it so then--you may come out. But remember, disobey me again, and +into a worse place still you go." + +"I beg pardon, ma'am, but I never disobeyed you that I know of. I never +had the honour of setting eyes upon you till I came to these ugly +quarters." + +"Never saw me? Who said to you, Those that will be foul, foul they will +be?" + +Grimes looked up; and Tom looked up too; for the voice was that of the +Irishwoman who met them the day that they went out together to +Harthover. "I gave you your warning then: but you gave it yourself a +thousand times before and since. Every bad word that you said--every +cruel and mean thing that you did--every time that you got tipsy--every +day that you went dirty--you were disobeying me, whether you knew it or +not." + +"If I'd only known, ma'am----" + +"You knew well enough that you were disobeying something, though you did +not know it was me. But come out and take your chance. Perhaps it may be +your last." + +So Grimes stepped out of the chimney, and really, if it had not been for +the scars on his face, he looked as clean and respectable as a +master-sweep need look. + +"Take him away," said she to the truncheon, "and give him his +ticket-of-leave." + +"And what is he to do, ma'am?" + +"Get him to sweep out the crater of Etna; he will find some very steady +men working out their time there, who will teach him his business: but +mind, if that crater gets choked again, and there is an earthquake in +consequence, bring them all to me, and I shall investigate the case very +severely." + +So the truncheon marched off Mr. Grimes, looking as meek as a drowned +worm. + +And for aught I know, or do not know, he is sweeping the crater of Etna +to this very day. + +"And now," said the fairy to Tom, "your work here is done. You may as +well go back again." + +"I should be glad enough to go," said Tom, "but how am I to get up that +great hole again, now the steam has stopped blowing?" + +"I will take you up the backstairs: but I must bandage your eyes first; +for I never allow anybody to see those backstairs of mine." + +"I am sure I shall not tell anybody about them, ma'am, if you bid me +not." + +"Aha! So you think, my little man. But you would soon forget your +promise if you got back into the land-world. For, if people only once +found out that you had been up my backstairs, you would have all the +fine ladies kneeling to you, and the rich men emptying their purses +before you, and statesmen offering you place and power; and young and +old, rich and poor, crying to you, 'Only tell us the great backstairs +secret, and we will be your slaves; we will make you lord, king, +emperor, bishop, archbishop, pope, if you like--only tell us the secret +of the backstairs. For thousands of years we have been paying, and +petting, and obeying, and worshipping quacks who told us they had the +key of the backstairs, and could smuggle us up them; and in spite of all +our disappointments, we will honour, and glorify, and adore, and +beatify, and translate, and apotheotise you likewise, on the chance of +your knowing something about the backstairs, that we may all go on +pilgrimage to it; and, even if we cannot get up it, lie at the foot of +it, and cry-- + + '_Oh, backstairs_, + _precious backstairs_, _comfortable backstairs_, + _invaluable backstairs_, _humane backstairs_, + _requisite backstairs_, _reasonable backstairs_, + _necessary backstairs_, _long-sought backstairs_, + _good-natured backstairs_, _coveted backstairs_, + _cosmopolitan backstairs_, _aristocratic backstairs_, + _comprehensive backstairs_, _respectable backstairs_, + _accommodating backstairs_, _gentlemanlike backstairs_, + _well-bred backstairs_, _ladylike backstairs_, + _commercial backstairs_, _orthodox backstairs_, + _economical backstairs_, _probable backstairs_, + _practical backstairs_, _credible backstairs_, + _logical backstairs_, _demonstrable backstairs_, + _deductive backstairs_, _irrefragable backstairs_, + _potent backstairs_, + _all-but-omnipotent backstairs_, + _&c._ + +Save us from the consequences of our own actions, and from the cruel +fairy, Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid!' Do not you think that you would be a +little tempted then to tell what you know, laddie?" + +Tom thought so certainly. "But why do they want so to know about the +backstairs?" asked he, being a little frightened at the long words, and +not understanding them the least; as, indeed, he was not meant to do, or +you either. + +"That I shall not tell you. I never put things into little folks' heads +which are but too likely to come there of themselves. So come--now I +must bandage your eyes." So she tied the bandage on his eyes with one +hand, and with the other she took it off. + +"Now," she said, "you are safe up the stairs." Tom opened his eyes very +wide, and his mouth too; for he had not, as he thought, moved a single +step. But, when he looked round him, there could be no doubt that he was +safe up the backstairs, whatsoever they may be, which no man is going to +tell you, for the plain reason that no man knows. + +The first thing which Tom saw was the black cedars, high and sharp +against the rosy dawn; and St. Brandan's Isle reflected double in the +still broad silver sea. The wind sang softly in the cedars, and the +water sang among the caves: the sea-birds sang as they streamed out into +the ocean, and the land-birds as they built among the boughs; and the +air was so full of song that it stirred St. Brandan and his hermits, as +they slumbered in the shade; and they moved their good old lips, and +sang their morning hymn amid their dreams. But among all the songs one +came across the water more sweet and clear than all; for it was the song +of a young girl's voice. + +And what was the song which she sang? Ah, my little man, I am too old to +sing that song, and you too young to understand it. But have patience, +and keep your eye single, and your hands clean, and you will learn some +day to sing it yourself, without needing any man to teach you. + +And as Tom neared the island, there sat upon a rock the most graceful +creature that ever was seen, looking down, with her chin upon her hand, +and paddling with her feet in the water. And when they came to her she +looked up, and behold it was Ellie. + +"Oh, Miss Ellie," said he, "how you are grown!" + +"Oh, Tom," said she, "how you are grown too!" + +And no wonder; they were both quite grown up--he into a tall man, and +she into a beautiful woman. + +"Perhaps I may be grown," she said. "I have had time enough; for I have +been sitting here waiting for you many a hundred years, till I thought +you were never coming." + +"Many a hundred years?" thought Tom; but he had seen so much in his +travels that he had quite given up being astonished; and, indeed, he +could think of nothing but Ellie. So he stood and looked at Ellie, and +Ellie looked at him; and they liked the employment so much that they +stood and looked for seven years more, and neither spoke nor stirred. + +At last they heard the fairy say: "Attention, children. Are you never +going to look at me again?" + +"We have been looking at you all this while," they said. And so they +thought they had been. + +"Then look at me once more," said she. + +They looked--and both of them cried out at once, "Oh, who are you, after +all?" + +"You are our dear Mrs. Doasyouwouldbedoneby." + +"No, you are good Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid; but you are grown quite +beautiful now!" + +"To you," said the fairy. "But look again." + +"You are Mother Carey," said Tom, in a very low, solemn voice; for he +had found out something which made him very happy, and yet frightened +him more than all that he had ever seen. + +"But you are grown quite young again." + +"To you," said the fairy. "Look again." + +"You are the Irishwoman who met me the day I went to Harthover!" + +And when they looked she was neither of them, and yet all of them at +once. + +"My name is written in my eyes, if you have eyes to see it there." + +And they looked into her great, deep, soft eyes, and they changed again +and again into every hue, as the light changes in a diamond. + +"Now read my name," said she, at last. + +And her eyes flashed, for one moment, clear, white, blazing light: but +the children could not read her name; for they were dazzled, and hid +their faces in their hands. + +"Not yet, young things, not yet," said she, smiling; and then she turned +to Ellie. + +"You may take him home with you now on Sundays, Ellie. He has won his +spurs in the great battle, and become fit to go with you and be a man; +because he has done the thing he did not like." + +So Tom went home with Ellie on Sundays, and sometimes on week-days, too; +and he is now a great man of science, and can plan railroads, and +steam-engines, and electric telegraphs, and rifled guns, and so forth; +and knows everything about everything, except why a hen's egg don't turn +into a crocodile, and two or three other little things which no one will +know till the coming of the Cocqcigrues. And all this from what he +learnt when he was a water-baby, underneath the sea. + +"And of course Tom married Ellie?" + +My dear child, what a silly notion! Don't you know that no one ever +marries in a fairy tale, under the rank of a prince or a princess? + +"And Tom's dog?" + +Oh, you may see him any clear night in July; for the old dog-star was so +worn out by the last three hot summers that there have been no dog-days +since; so that they had to take him down and put Tom's dog up in his +place. Therefore, as new brooms sweep clean, we may hope for some warm +weather this year. And that is the end of my story. + + + + +MORAL + + +_And now, my dear little man, what should we learn from this parable?_ + +_We should learn thirty-seven or thirty-nine things, I am not exactly +sure which: but one thing, at least, we may learn, and that is +this--when we see efts in the pond, never to throw stones at them, or +catch them with crooked pins, or put them into vivariums with +sticklebacks, that the sticklebacks may prick them in their poor little +stomachs, and make them jump out of the glass into somebody's work-box, +and so come to a bad end. For these efts are nothing else but the +water-babies who are stupid and dirty, and will not learn their lessons +and keep themselves clean; and, therefore (as comparative anatomists +will tell you fifty years hence, though they are not learned enough to +tell you now), their skulls grow flat, their jaws grow out, and their +brains grow small, and their tails grow long, and they lose all their +ribs (which I am sure you would not like to do), and their skins grow +dirty and spotted, and they never get into the clear rivers, much less +into the great wide sea, but hang about in dirty ponds, and live in the +mud, and eat worms, as they deserve to do._ + +_But that is no reason why you should ill-use them: but only why you +should pity them, and be kind to them, and hope that some day they will +wake up, and be ashamed of their nasty, dirty, lazy, stupid life, and +try to amend, and become something better once more. For, perhaps, if +they do so, then after 379,423 years, nine months, thirteen days, two +hours, and twenty-one minutes (for aught that appears to the contrary), +if they work very hard and wash very hard all that time, their brains +may grow bigger, and their jaws grow smaller, and their ribs come back, +and their tails wither off, and they will turn into water-babies again, +and perhaps after that into land-babies; and after that perhaps into +grown men._ + +_You know they won't? Very well, I daresay you know best. But you see, +some folks have a great liking for those poor little efts. They never +did anybody any harm, or could if they tried; and their only fault is, +that they do no good--any more than some thousands of their betters. But +what with ducks, and what with pike, and what with sticklebacks, and +what with water-beetles, and what with naughty boys, they are "sae sair +hadden doun," as the Scotsmen say, that it is a wonder how they live; +and some folks can't help hoping, with good Bishop Butler, that they may +have another chance, to make things fair and even, somewhere, somewhen, +somehow._ + +_Meanwhile, do you learn your lessons, and thank God that you have +plenty of cold water to wash in; and wash in it too, like a true +Englishman. And then, if my story is not true, something better is; and +if I am not quite right, still you will be, as long as you stick to hard +work and cold water._ + +_But remember always, as I told you at first, that this is all a fairy +tale, and only fun and pretence: and, therefore, you are not to believe +a word of it, even if it is true._ + + +THE END + + +_Printed in Great Britain by R. & R. CLARK, LIMITED, Edinburgh._ + + * * * * * + +Transcriber's Notes: + +Obvious punctuation errors repaired. + +Page 6, "piert" was retained as a spelling for "pert". + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Water-Babies, by +Charles Kingsley and Warwick Goble + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE WATER-BABIES *** + +***** This file should be named 25564.txt or 25564.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/2/5/5/6/25564/ + +Produced by Juliet Sutherland, Emmy and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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