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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Amphitryon, by Moliere
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Amphitryon
+
+Author: Moliere
+
+Translator: A.R. Waller
+
+Posting Date: December 6, 2008 [EBook #2536]
+Release Date: February, 2001
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AMPHITRYON ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Bob Colomb
+
+
+
+
+
+AMPHITRYON
+
+A play
+
+
+By Moliere
+
+
+Translated by A.R. Waller
+
+
+Amphitryon was played for the first time in Paris, at the Theatre du
+Palais-Royal, January 13, 1668. It was successfully received, holding
+the boards until the 18th of March, when Easter intervened. After the
+re-opening of the theatre, it was played half a dozen times more the
+same year, and continued to please.
+
+The first edition was published in 1668.
+
+Note: It is perhaps hardly necessary to refer the reader to Amphitryon,
+by Plautus, the comedy upon which Moliere's charming play was, in
+the main, based. The rendering attempted here can give but a faint
+reflection of the original, for hardly any comedy of Moliere's loses
+more in the process of translation.
+
+
+
+
+AMPHITRYON
+
+
+
+
+PROLOGUE
+
+
+MERCURY, on a cloud; NIGHT, in a chariot drawn by two horses
+
+MERC. Wait! Gentle Night; deign to stay awhile: Some help is needed from
+you. I have two words to say to you from Jupiter.
+
+NIGHT. Ah! Ah! It is you, Seigneur Mercury! Who would have thought of
+you here, in that position?
+
+MERC. Well, feeling tired, and not being able to fulfil the different
+duties Jupiter ordered me, I quietly sat down on this cloud to await
+your coming.
+
+NIGHT. You jest, Mercury: you do not mean it; does it become the Gods to
+say they are tired?
+
+MERC. Are the Gods made of iron?
+
+NIGHT. No; but one must always have a care for divine decorum. There are
+certain words the use of which debases this sublime quality, and it is
+meet that these should be left to men, because they are unworthy.
+
+MERC. You speak at your ease, fair lady, from a swiftly rolling chariot,
+in which, like a dame free from care; you are drawn by two fine horses
+wherever you like. But it is not the same with me. Such is my miserable
+fate that I cannot bear the poets too great a grudge for their gross
+impertinence in having, by an unjust law, which they wish to retain in
+force, given a separate conveyance to each God, for his own use, and
+left me to go on foot: me, like a village messenger, though, as everyone
+knows, I am the famous messenger of the sovereign of the Gods, on the
+earth and in the heavens. Without any exaggeration, I need more than any
+one else the means of being carried about, because of all the duties he
+puts upon me.
+
+NIGHT. What can one do? The poets do what pleases them. It is not the
+only stupidity we have detected in these gentlemen. But surely your
+irritation against them is wrong, for the wings at your feet are a
+friendly gift of theirs.
+
+MERC. Yes; but does going more quickly tire oneself less?
+
+NIGHT. Let us leave the matter, Seigneur Mercury, and learn what is
+wanted.
+
+MERC. Jupiter, as I have told you, wishes the dark aid of your cloak for
+a certain gallant adventure, which a new love affair has furnished
+him. His custom is not new to you, I believe: often does he neglect the
+heavens for the earth; and you are not ignorant that this master of
+the Gods loves to take upon himself the guise of man to woo earthly
+beauties. He knows a hundred ingenious tricks to entrap the most
+obdurate. He has felt the darts of Alcmene's eyes; and, whilst
+Amphitryon, her husband, commands the Theban troops on the plains of
+Boeotia, Jupiter has taken his form, and assuaged his pains, in the
+possession of the sweetest of pleasures. The condition of the couple is
+propitious to his desire: Hymen joined them only a few days ago; and the
+young warmth of their tender love suggested to Jupiter to have recourse
+to this fine artifice. His stratagem proved successful in this case; but
+with many a cherished object a similar disguise would not be of any
+use: it is not always a sure means of pleasing, to adopt the form, of a
+husband.
+
+NIGHT. I admire Jupiter, and I cannot imagine all the disguises which
+come into his head.
+
+MERC. By these means he wishes to taste all sorts of conditions: that
+is the act of a God who is not a fool. However mortals may regard him,
+I should think very meanly of him if he never quitted his redoubtable
+mien, and were always in the heavens, standing upon his dignity. In my
+opinion, there is nothing more idiotic than always to be imprisoned in
+one's grandeur; above all, a lofty rank becomes very inconvenient in
+the transports of amorous ardour. Jupiter, no doubt, is a connoisseur
+in pleasure, and he knows how to descend from the height of his supreme
+glory. So that he can enter into everything that pleases him, he
+entirely casts aside himself, and then it is no longer Jupiter who
+appears.
+
+NIGHT. I could overlook seeing him step down from his sublime stage
+to that of men, since he wishes to enter into all the transports which
+their natures can supply, and join in their jests, if, in the changes
+which take his fancy, he would confine himself to nature. But I do not
+think it fitting to see Jupiter as a bull, a serpent, a swan, or what
+not, and it does not astonish me that it is sometimes talked about.
+
+MERC. Let all the busybodies talk; such changes have their own charms
+and surpass people's understanding. The God knows what he does in this
+affair as in everything else: in the movements of their tender passions,
+animals are not so loutish as one might think.
+
+NIGHT. Let us return to the lady whose favours he enjoys. If, by his
+stratagem, his pursuit is successful, what more can he wish? What can I
+do?
+
+MERC. He wishes that you would slacken the pace of your horses, to
+satisfy the passion of his amorous heart, and so make of a delightful
+night the longest night of all; that you would give him more time for
+his transports, and retard the birth of day since it will hasten the
+return of him whose place he occupies.
+
+NIGHT. Really the employment which the great Jupiter reserves for me
+is a worthy one! The service he requires of me passes under a very
+respectable name.
+
+MERC. You are somewhat old-fashioned for a young goddess! Such an
+employment is not debasing except among people of mean birth. When
+one has the happiness of belonging to lofty rank, whatever one does is
+always right and good; things change their names to suit what one may
+be.
+
+NIGHT. You know more about such matters than I do; I will trust to your
+enlightened views and accept this employment.
+
+MERC. Come, come, now, Madam Night, a little gently, I beseech you. The
+world gives you the reputation of not being so scrupulous. In a hundred
+different climes you are made the confidant of many gallant adventures;
+and, if I may speak candidly, we do not owe each other anything.
+
+NIGHT. Let us cease these reproaches and remain what we are. Let us not
+give men cause to laugh by telling each other the truth.
+
+MERC. Adieu. I am going there to play my part in this business, promptly
+to strip myself of the form of Mercury and to take in its place the
+figure of Amphitryon's valet.
+
+NIGHT. I am going to keep station in this hemisphere with my sombre
+train.
+
+MERC. Good day, Night.
+
+NIGHT. Adieu, Mercury.
+
+(Mercury descends from his cloud to the earth, and Night goes away in
+her chariot.)
+
+END OF THE PROLOGUE.
+
+
+
+
+ACT I
+
+
+
+SCENE I
+
+SOSIE
+
+Who goes there? Eh? My fear grows with every step. Gentlemen, I am a
+friend to all the world. Ah! What unparalleled boldness, to be out at
+this hour! My master is crowned with fame, but what a villainous trick
+he plays me here! What? If he had any love for his neighbour, would he
+have sent me out in such a black night? Could he not just as well have
+waited until it was day before sending me to announce his return and the
+details of his victory? To what servitude are thy days subjected, Sosie!
+Our lot is far more hard with the great than with the mean. They insist
+that everything in nature should be compelled to sacrifice itself for
+them. Night and day, hail, wind, peril, heat, cold, as soon as they
+speak we must fly. Twenty years of assiduous service do not gain us any
+consideration from them. The least little whim draws down upon us their
+anger.
+
+Notwithstanding this, our infatuated hearts cling to the empty honour
+of remaining near them, contented with the false idea, which every one
+holds, that we are happy. In vain reason bids us retire; in vain our
+spite sometimes consents to this; to be near them is too powerful
+an influence on our zeal, and the least favour of a caressing glance
+immediately re-engages us. But at last, I see our house through the
+darkness, and my fear vanishes.
+
+I must prepare some thought-out speech for my mission. I must give
+Alcmene warlike description of the fierce combat which put our enemies
+to flight. But how the deuce can I do this since I was not there? Never
+mind; let us talk of cut and thrust, as though I were an eyewitness. How
+many people describe battles from which they remained far away! In order
+to act my part without discredit, I will rehearse it a little.
+
+This is the chamber into which I am ushered as the messenger: this
+lantern is Alcmene, to whom I have to speak. (He sets his lantern on
+the ground and salutes it.) 'Madam, Amphitryon, my master and your
+husband,... (Good! that is a fine beginning!) whose mind is ever full
+of your charms, has chosen me from amongst all to bring tidings of the
+success of his arms, and of his desire to be near you.' 'Ah! Really, my
+poor Sosie, I am delighted to see you back again.' 'Madam, you do me too
+much honour: my lot is an enviable one.' (Well answered!)
+
+'How is Amphitryon?' 'Madam, as a man of courage should be, when glory
+leads him.' (Very good! A capital idea!) 'When will my heart be charmed
+and satisfied by his return?' 'As soon as possible, assuredly, Madam,
+but his heart desires a speedier return.' (Ah!) 'In what state has the
+war left him? What says he? What does he? Ease my anxiety.' He says less
+than he does, Madam, and makes his enemies tremble.' (Plague! where do I
+get all these fine speeches?) 'What are the rebels doing? Tell me, what
+is their condition?' 'They could not resist our efforts, Madam; we cut
+them to pieces, put their chief, Pterelas, to death, took Telebos by
+assault; and now the port rings with our prowess.' 'Ah! What a success!
+Ye Gods! Who could ever have imagined it? Tell me, Sosie, how it
+happened.' 'I will, gladly, Madam; and, without boasting, I can tell
+you, with the greatest accuracy, the details of this victory. Imagine,
+therefore, Madam, that Telebos is on this side. (He marks the places
+on his hand, or on the ground.) It is a city really almost as large as
+Thebes. The river is, say, there. Here, our people encamped; and that
+space was occupied by our enemies. On a height, somewhere about here,
+was their infantry; and, lower down, on the right side, was their
+cavalry. After having addressed prayers to the Gods, and issued all the
+orders, the signal was given. The enemy, thinking to turn our flank,
+divided their horse soldiers into three platoons; but we soon chilled
+their warmth, and you shall see how. Here is our vanguard ready to begin
+work; there, were the archers of our king, Creon; and here, the main
+army (some one makes a slight noise), which was just going to... Stay;
+the main body is afraid'; I think I hear some noise.
+
+
+
+SCENE II
+
+MERCURY, SOSIE
+
+MERC. (Under the form of Sosie.) Under this mask which resembles him,
+I will drive away the babbler from here. His unfortunate arrival may
+disturb the pleasures our lovers are tasting together.
+
+SOS. My heart revives a little; perhaps it was nothing. Lest
+anything untoward should happen, however, I will go in to finish the
+conversation.
+
+MERC. I shall prevent your doing that unless you are stronger than
+Mercury.
+
+SOS. This night seems to me unusually long. By the time I have been
+on the way, either my master has taken evening for morning, or lovely
+Phoebus slumbers too long in bed through having taken too much wine.
+
+MERC. With what irreverence this lubber speaks of the Gods! My arm
+shall soon chastise this insolence; I shall have a fine game with him,
+stealing his name as well as his likeness.
+
+SOS. Ah! upon my word, I was right: I am done for, miserable creature
+that I am! I see a man before our house whose mien bodes me no good. I
+will sing a little to show some semblance of assurance.
+
+(He sings; and, when Mercury speaks, his voice weakens, little by
+little.)
+
+MERC. What rascal is this, who takes the unwarrantable licence of
+singing and deafening me like this? Does he wish me to curry his coat
+for him?
+
+SOS. Assuredly that fellow does not like music.
+
+MERC. For more than a week, I have not found any one whose bones I could
+break; my arm will lose its strength in this idleness. I must look out
+for some one's back to get my wind again.
+
+SOS. What the deuce of a fellow is this? My heart thrills with clutching
+fear. But why should I tremble thus? Perhaps the rogue is as much afraid
+as I am, and talks in this way to hide his fear from me under a feigned
+audacity. Yes, yes, I will not allow him to think me a goose. If I am
+not bold, I will try to appear so. Let me seek courage by reason; he is
+alone, even as I am; I am strong, I have a good master, and there is our
+house.
+
+MERC. Who goes there?
+
+SOS. I.
+
+MERC. Who, I?
+
+SOS. I. Courage, Sosie!
+
+MERC. Tell me, what is your condition?
+
+SOS. To be a man, and to speak.
+
+MERC. Are you a master, or a servant?
+
+SOS. As fancy takes me.
+
+MERC. Where are you going?
+
+SOS. Where I intend to go.
+
+MERC. Ah! This annoys me.
+
+SOS. I am ravished to hear it.
+
+MERC. By hook or by crook, I must definitely know all about you, you
+wretch; what you do, whence you come before the day breaks, where you
+are going, and who you may be.
+
+SOS. I do good and ill by turns; I come from there; I go there; I belong
+to my master.
+
+MERC. You show wit, and I see you think to play the man of importance
+for my edification. I feel inclined to make your acquaintance by
+slapping your face.
+
+SOS. Mine?
+
+MERC. Yours; and there you get it, sharp. (Mercury gives him a slap.)
+
+SOS. Ah! Ah! This is a fine game!
+
+MERC. No; it is only a laughing matter, a reply to your quips.
+
+SOS. Good heavens! Friend, how you swing out your arm without any one
+saying anything to you.
+
+MERC. These are my lightest clouts, little ordinary smacks.
+
+SOS. If I were as hasty as you, we should have a fine ado.
+
+MERC. All this is nothing as yet: it is merely to fill up time; we shall
+soon see something else; but let us continue our conversation.
+
+SOS. I give up the game. (He turns to go away.)
+
+MERC. Where are you going?
+
+SOS. What does it matter to you?
+
+MERC. I want to know where you are going.
+
+SOS. I am going to open that door. Why do you detain me?
+
+MERC. If you dare to go near it, I shall rain down a storm of blows on
+you.
+
+SOS. What? You wish to hinder me from entering our own house by threats?
+
+MERC. What do you say, your house?
+
+SOS. Yes, our house.
+
+MERC. O, the scoundrel! You speak of that house?
+
+SOS. Certainly. Is not Amphitryon the master of it?
+
+MERC. Well! What does that prove?
+
+SOS. I am his valet.
+
+MERC. You?
+
+SOS. I.
+
+MERC. His valet?
+
+SOS. Unquestionably.
+
+MERC. Valet of Amphitryon?
+
+SOS. Of Amphitryon himself.
+
+MERC. Your name is?
+
+SOS. Sosie.
+
+MERC. Eh? What?
+
+SOS. Sosie.
+
+MERC. Listen: do you realise that my fist can knock you spinning?
+
+SOS. Why? What fury has seized you now?
+
+MERC. Tell me, who made you so rash as to take the name of Sosie?
+
+SOS. I do not take it; I have always borne it.
+
+MERC. O what a monstrous lie! What confounded impudence! You dare to
+maintain that Sosie is your name?
+
+SOS. Certainly; I maintain it, for the good reason that the Gods have so
+ordered it by their supreme power. It is not in my power to say no, and
+to be any one else than myself.
+
+(Mercury beats him.) MERC. A thousand stripes ought to be the reward of
+such audacity.
+
+SOS. Justice, citizens! Help! I beseech you.
+
+MERC. So, you gallows-bird, you yell out?
+
+SOS. You beat me down with a thousand blows, and yet do not wish me to
+cry out?
+
+MERC. It is thus that my arm...
+
+SOS. The action is unworthy. You gloat over the advantage which my want
+of courage gives you over me; that is not fair treatment. It is mere
+bullying to wish to profit by the poltroonery of those whom one makes to
+feel the weight of one's arm. To thrash a man who does not retaliate is
+not the act of a generous soul; and to show courage against men who have
+none merits condemnation.
+
+MERC. Well! Are you still Sosie? What say you?
+
+SOS. Your blows have not made any metamorphosis in me; all the change
+there is is that in the matter I am Sosie thrashed.
+
+MERC. Still? A hundred fresh blows for this fresh impudence.
+
+SOS. Have mercy, a truce to your blows.
+
+MERC. Then a truce to your insolence.
+
+SOS. Anything that pleases you; I will keep silence. The dispute between
+us is too unequal.
+
+MERC. Are you still Sosie? Say, villain!
+
+SOS. Alas! I am what you wish; dispose of my lot exactly as you please:
+your arm 'has made you the master of it.
+
+MERC. I think you said your name was Sosie?
+
+SOS. True, until now I thought the matter was clear; but your rod has
+made me see that I was mistaken in this affair.
+
+MERC. I am Sosie: all Thebes avows it. Amphitryon has never had other
+than me.
+
+SOS. You, Sosie?
+
+MERC. Yes, Sosie; and if any one trifles with me, he must take care of
+himself.
+
+SOS. Heavens! Must I thus renounce myself, and see my name stolen by an
+impostor. How lucky I am a poltroon! Or, by the death...!
+
+MERC. What are you mumbling between your teeth?
+
+SOS. Nothing. But, in the name of the Gods, give me leave to speak one
+moment with you.
+
+MERC. Speak.
+
+SOS. But promise me, I beseech you, that there shall not be any more
+strokes. Let us sign a truce.
+
+MERC. Let that pass; go on, I grant you this point.
+
+SOS. Tell me, who put this fancy into your head? What benefit will it be
+to you to take my name? In short, were you a demon, could you hinder me
+from being myself, from being Sosie?
+
+MERC. What is this, you dare...
+
+SOS. Ah! Gently: there is a truce to blows.
+
+MERC. What! Gallows-bird, impostor, scoundrel...
+
+SOS. As for abuse, give me as much as you please; it makes but a slight
+wound and does not bother me.
+
+MERC. You say you are Sosie?
+
+SOS. Yes. Some ridiculous tale...
+
+MERC. So, I shall break our truce, and take back my word.
+
+SOS. I can't help it. I cannot annihilate myself for you, and endure so
+improbable a tale. Is it in your power to be what I am? Can I cease to
+be myself? Did any one ever hear of such a thing? And can you give the
+lie to a hundred clear indications? Do I dream? Do I sleep? Is my mind
+troubled by powerful transports? Do I not feel I am awake? Am I not in
+my right senses? Has not my master, Amphitryon, commanded me to come
+here to Alcmene his wife? Am I not, in commending his passion to her,
+to give her an account of his deeds against our enemies? Have I not just
+come from the harbour? Do I not hold a lantern in my hand? Have I not
+found you in front of our house? Did I not speak to you in a perfectly
+friendly manner? Do you not make use of my poltroonery to hinder me from
+entering our house? Have you not vented your rage upon my back? Have you
+not showered blows on me? Ah! All this is but too true: would to Heaven
+it were less real! Cease therefore to jeer at a wretch's lot, and leave
+me to acquit myself where my duty calls me.
+
+MERC. Stop, or the shortest step brings down upon your back clattering
+evidence of my just anger. All you have just said is mine, except the
+blows. It is I, whom Amphitryon sent to Alcmene; who has just arrived
+from the Persian port; I, who have come to announce the valour of his
+arm, which has gained us a glorious victory, and slain the chief of
+our enemies. In short, I am undoubtedly Sosie, son of Dave, an honest
+shepherd; brother of Arpage, who died in a foreign land; husband of
+Cleanthis the prude, whose temper drives me wild; I, who received a
+thousand cuts from a whip at Thebes, without ever saying anything about
+it; and who was once publicly branded on the back for being too worthy a
+man.
+
+SOS. He is right. If he were not Sosie, he could not know all he says;
+all this is so astounding that even I begin to believe him a little. In
+fact, now I look at him, I see he has my figure, looks, and manners. I
+wilt ask him some question, in order to clear up this mystery. What
+did Amphitryon obtain as his share of all the plunder taken from our
+enemies?
+
+MERC. Five fine large diamonds, beautifully set in a cluster, which
+their chief wore as a rare piece of handicraft.
+
+SOS. For whom does he intend so rich a present?
+
+MERC. For his wife; he intends her to wear it.
+
+SOS. Where have you put it, until you meet her?
+
+MERC. In a casket sealed with the arms of my master.
+
+SOS. He does not tell a single lie at any turn: I begin to doubt myself
+in earnest. He has already cowed me into believing him to be Sosie; and
+he might even reason me into thinking him so. Yet, when I touch myself,
+and recollect, it seems to me I am myself. Where can I find some light
+that will clearly make my way plain? What I have done alone, and what no
+one has seen, cannot be known to any one else: that, at least, belongs
+to me. I will astonish him by this question: it will confound him, and
+we shall see. When they were at close quarters, what were you doing in
+our tents, whither you ran to hide yourself away?
+
+MERC. Off a ham
+
+SOS. That is it!
+
+MERC. Which I unearthed, I soon cut two succulent slices: they suited me
+nicely. I added to them a wine which was usually kept dark, and,
+gloated over the sight of it before I tasted it. So I took heart for our
+fighters.
+
+SOS. This unparalleled proof ends matters well in his favour; and,
+unless he were in the bottle, there is nothing to be said. From the
+proofs you show me, I cannot deny that you are Sosie: I admit it. But,
+if you are he, tell me whom you wish me to be; for I must be someone.
+
+MERC. When I shall no longer be Sosie, you may be he, I consent to that;
+but I promise you it shall be the death of you if you take up such a
+fancy while I am he.
+
+SOS. All this confusion turns me inside out, for reason is against what
+I see. But I must end this by some means; and the shortest way for me is
+to go in there.
+
+MERC. Oh! You gallows-bird, you want to taste the stick.
+
+SOS. What is the matter? Great Gods! He makes the blows ring again; my
+back will ache for a month. I will leave this devil of a fellow, and
+return to the harbour. O just Heavens, what a fine ambassador I have
+been!
+
+MERC. At last, I have made him fly; this treatment has paid him out for
+many of his deeds. But here is Jupiter, gallantly escorting his lover
+Alcmene.
+
+
+
+SCENE III
+
+JUPITER, ALCMENE, CLEANTHIS, MERCURY
+
+JUP. My dear Alcmene, forbid the torch-bearers to come near. They give
+me delight in enabling me to see you; but they might betray my being
+here, and this were best unrevealed. Restrained by all the heavy cares
+with which the glory of our arms held me bound, my heart has stolen from
+the duties of my post the moments it has just given to your charms. This
+theft, which I have consecrated to your beauty, might be blamed by the
+public voice; and the only witness I want, is she who can thank me for
+it.
+
+ALC. I take great interest, Amphitryon, in the glory which your
+illustrious exploits have cast upon you; the fame of your victory moves
+my heart to its depths. But when I see that this disastrous honour keeps
+my lover away from me, such is my heart's feeling that I cannot forbear
+to think ill of it, and to regret the high order which makes you general
+of the Thebans. It is sweet after a victory to see the glory to which
+one's lover has been raised; but, from among the perils attached to this
+glory, a deadly blow, alas! may soon fall. With how many fears is one's
+heart wounded at the report of the least skirmish! In the horror of such
+a thought, is there anything that can console for the threatened stroke?
+And with whatever laurels the victor may be crowned, whatever share
+one may have in that supreme honour, is it worth what it costs a tender
+heart, which trembles every moment for its lover?
+
+JUP. I do not see anything in you but what inflames my passion;
+everything shows me a deeply enamoured heart; and, I confess, it is a
+great delight to find so much love in a beloved object. But, if I may
+dare say so, one scruple in the tender sentiments which you show me
+causes me anxiety; and, in order to enjoy you the more, dear Alcmene, my
+heart would rather see love only, and not duty, in the favours which I
+receive from you; may they arise solely from affection, and have respect
+to my person only; let not my condition as your husband be the reason
+for them.
+
+ALC. Yet it is in that name that the ardour which burns me holds
+the right to show itself: I do not understand this new scruple which
+troubles your heart.
+
+JUP. The love and tenderness which I have for you far exceeds a
+husband's; in these sweet moments, you do not realise its delicacy; You
+do not understand that a heart deeply in love studiously attaches itself
+to a hundred little trifles, and is restless over the manner of being
+happy. In me, fair and charming Alcmene, you see a lover and a husband;
+but, to speak frankly, it is the lover that appeals to me; when near
+you, I feel the husband restrains him. This lover, who is supremely
+jealous of your love, wishes your heart to abandon itself solely to him:
+his passion does not wish anything the husband gives him. He wishes to
+obtain the warmth of your love from the fountain-head, and not to owe
+anything to the bonds of wedlock, or to a duty which palls and makes the
+heart sad, for by these the sweetness of the most cherished favours
+is daily poisoned. This idea, in short, tosses him to and fro, and he
+wishes, in order to satisfy his scruples, that you would differentiate
+where the occasion offends him, the husband to be only for your virtue,
+and the lover to have the whole affection and tenderness of a heart
+known to be full of kindness.
+
+ALC. In truth, Amphitryon, you must be jesting, to talk thus; I should
+be afraid anyone who heard you would think you were not sane.
+
+JUP. There is more reason in this discourse, Alcmene, than you think.
+But a longer stay here would render me guilty, and time presses for my
+return to port. Adieu. The stern call of duty tears me away from you
+for a time; but, lovely Alcmene, I beseech you at least to think of the
+lover when you see the husband.
+
+ALC. I do not separate what the Gods unite: both husband and lover are
+very precious to me.
+
+CLE. O Heaven! How delightful are the caresses of an ardently cherished
+husband! How far my poor husband is from all this tenderness!
+
+MERC. I must tell Night she has but to furl all her sails; the Sun may
+now arise from his bed and put out the stars.
+
+
+
+SCENE IV
+
+CLEANTHIS, MERCURY (Mercury turns to go away)
+
+CLE. So? Is it thus you quit me?
+
+MERC. What would you have? Do you wish me not to do my duty, and follow
+in Amphitryon's footsteps?
+
+CLE. To separate from me so rudely as this, you villain!
+
+MERC. It is a fine subject to make a fuss about! We have still plenty of
+time to live together!
+
+CLE. But to go in such a churlish manner, without saying a single kind
+word to cheer me!
+
+MERC. Where the deuce shall I dig up silly compliments? Fifteen years of
+married life exhaust nonsense; we said all we had to say to each other a
+long time ago.
+
+CLE. Look at Amphitryon, you rascal; see how his ardour burns for
+Alcmene; and then blush for the little passion that you show your wife.
+
+MERC. But, gracious me! Cleanthis, they are still lovers. There comes
+a certain age when all this passes away; what suits them well in these
+early days would look ridiculous in us, old married people. It would be
+it fine sight to see us embracing each other, and saying sweet nothings!
+
+CLE. Oh! You perfidious wretch, must I give up hope that a heart sighs
+for me?
+
+MERC. No, I should be sorry to say that; but I have too long a beard to
+dare to sigh; I should make you die of laughter.
+
+CLE. You brute, do you deserve the good fortune of having a virtuous
+woman for your wife?
+
+MERC. Good Heavens! You are but too virtuous; this fine virtue is not
+worth anything to me. Do not be quite so honest a woman, and don't
+bother me so much.
+
+CLE. What? Do you blame me for being too honest?
+
+MERC. A woman's gentleness is what charms me most: your virtue makes a
+clatter that never ceases to deafen me.
+
+CLE. You care for hearts full of false tenderness, for those women with
+the laudable and fine talent of knowing how to smother their husbands
+with caresses in order to make them oblivious of the existence of
+lovers.
+
+MERC. Well! Shall I tell you what I think? An imaginary evil concerns
+fools only; my device should be: 'Less honour and more peace.'
+
+CLE. Would you, without any repugnance, suffer me openly to love a
+gallant?
+
+MERC. Yes, if I were no longer worried by your tongue, and if it
+changed your temper and your goings-on. I prefer a convenient vice, to
+a fatiguing virtue. Adieu, Cleanthis, my dear soul; I must follow
+Amphitryon. (He goes away.)
+
+CLE Why has not my heart sufficient resolution to punish this infamous
+scoundrel? Ah, how it maddens me, now, that I am an honest woman!
+
+END OF THE FIRST ACT
+
+
+
+
+ACT II
+
+
+
+SCENE I
+
+AMPHITRYON, SOSIE
+
+AMPH. Come here, you rascal, come here. Do you know, Master Villain,
+that your talk is sufficient to cause me to knock you down, and that my
+wrath waits only for a stick to thrash you as I intend?
+
+SOS. If you take it in that way, Monsieur, I have nothing more to say;
+you will be always in the right.
+
+AMPH. So? You scoundrel, you wish to impose upon me as truths tales
+which I know to be extravagantly far-fetched?
+
+SOS. No; I am the servant, and you are the master; it shall not be
+otherwise than you wish it, Monsieur.
+
+AMPH. Come, I will choke down the anger that inflames me, and hear all
+you have to say about your mission. I must unravel this confusion before
+I see my wife. Collect your senses, think well over what you say, and
+answer each question word for word.
+
+SOS. But, lest I make a mistake, tell me, I beseech you, beforehand, in
+what way it would please you to have this affair healed. Shall I speak,
+Monsieur, according to my conscience, or as usual when near the great?
+Shall I tell the truth or use a certain complaisance?
+
+AMPH. No; I only wish you to give me a perfectly unvarnished account.
+
+SOS. Good. That is enough; leave it to me; you have, but to interrogate
+me.
+
+AMPH. Upon the order which I lately gave you...
+
+SOS. I set forth under skies veiled in black crape, swearing bitterly
+against you for this wretched martyrdom, and cursing twenty times the
+order of which you speak.
+
+AMPH. What do you mean, you villain?
+
+SOS. You have only to speak, Monsieur, and I shall lie, if you desire
+it.
+
+AMPH. That is how a valet shows his zeal for us. Never mind. What
+happened to you on the way?
+
+SOS. I had a mortal fright at the least thing I met.
+
+AMPH. Poltroon!
+
+SOS. Nature has her caprices in forming us; she gives us differing
+inclinations; some find a thousand delights in exposing themselves; I
+find them in taking care of myself.
+
+AMPH. When you arrived at the house...?
+
+SOS. When I reached the door, I wished to rehearse to myself for a short
+time, in what tone and in what manner I should give a glorious account
+of the battle.
+
+AMPH. What followed?
+
+SOS. Some one came to annoy and trouble me.
+
+AMPH. Who was he?
+
+SOS. Sosie; another I, jealous of your orders, whom you sent to Alcmene
+from the port, and who has as full knowledge of our secrets as I who am
+speaking to you.
+
+AMPH. What nonsense!
+
+SOS. No, Monsieur, it is the simple truth: this I was at your house
+sooner than I; and, I swear to you, I was there before I had arrived.
+
+AMPH. Pray, where does all this cursed nonsense come from? Is it a
+dream? Is it drunkenness? Mind-wandering? Or a sorry joke?
+
+SOS. No, it is the thing as it is, and by no means an idle tale. I am
+a man of honour, I give you my word, and you must please believe it.
+I tell you, believing I was but one Sosie, I found myself two at your
+house; and of these two I's, piqued with jealousy, one is at the house,
+and the other is with you; the I who is here, tired out, found the other
+I fresh, jolly and active, having no other anxiety than to fight and
+break bones.
+
+AMPH. I confess I must be of a very placid temper, very peaceable, very
+gentle, to permit a valet to entertain me with such nonsense!
+
+SOS. If you become angry, no more conference between us: you know all
+will be over at once.
+
+AMPH. No; I will listen to you without being carried away; I promised
+it. But tell me in good earnest, is there any shadow of likelihood in
+this new mystery which you have just told me?
+
+SOS. No; you are right, the matter must appear to everyone past credit.
+It is a fact past understanding, an extravagant, ridiculous, far-fetched
+tale: it shocks common sense; but it is none the less a fact.
+
+AMPH. How can anyone believe it, unless he has taken leave of his
+senses?
+
+SOS. I myself did not believe it without extreme difficulty: I thought
+I was losing my senses when I saw myself two, and, for a long time, I
+treated my other self as an impostor: but he compelled me in the end
+to recognise myself; I saw it was I, without any trickery; from head to
+foot he is like me-handsome, a noble air, well built, charming manners;
+in fact, two peas do not resemble each other more; were it not that his
+hands are a little too heavy, I should be perfectly satisfied.
+
+AMPH. I had need exhort myself to patience! But did you not in the end
+go into the house?
+
+SOS. Good, go in! Ah! In what fashion? Have I never wished to listen to
+reason? Did I not forbid myself to enter our door?
+
+AMPH. In what way?
+
+SOS. With a stick, my back still aches from it.
+
+AMPH. You have been thrashed?
+
+SOS. Truly.
+
+AMPH. And by whom?
+
+SOS. Myself.
+
+AMPH. You have thrashed yourself?
+
+SOS. Yes, I; not the I who is here, but the I from the house, who whacks
+soundly.
+
+AMPH. Heaven confound you for talking to me like this!
+
+SOS. I am not joking; the I whom I have just met has great advantages
+over the I who speaks to you. He has a strong arm and great courage; I
+have had proofs of both; this devil of an I has licked me soundly; he is
+a fellow who can do wonders.
+
+AMPH. Let us, cease this. Have you seen my wife?
+
+SOS. No.
+
+AMPH. Why not?
+
+SOS. For a sufficiently strong reason.
+
+AMPH. Who hindered you, scoundrel? Explain yourself.
+
+SOS. Must I repeat the same thing twenty times? I, I tell you, this I
+who is more robust than I, this I who took possession of the door by
+force, this I who made me slope off, this I who wishes to be the only I,
+this I who is jealous of myself, this valiant I, whose anger made itself
+known to this poltroon of an I, in fact, this I who is at our house,
+this I who has shown himself to be my master, this I who has racked me
+with pain.
+
+AMPH. His brain must be addled by having had too much to drink this
+morning.
+
+SOS. May I be hanged if I have had anything to drink but water: I take
+my oath on it.
+
+AMPH. Then your senses must have been fast asleep: some silly dream has
+shown you all these fairy tales and confused mysteries which you wish me
+to take for truths.
+
+SOS. That is just as far away from the truth. I have not slept, and I do
+not even feel inclined that way. I am speaking to you wide-awake; I
+was wide awake this morning, upon my life! And the other Sosie was also
+wide-awake, when he drubbed me so well.
+
+AMPH. Follow me; I order you to be silent. You tire my brain too much;
+I must be an out-and-out fool to have the patience to listen to the
+nonsense a valet has to say.
+
+SOS. All talk is nonsense that comes from a man who is unknown. If a
+great man were to say it, it would be exquisite language.
+
+AMPH. Let us go in without waiting any longer. But here comes Alcmene
+clothed in all her charms. Doubtless she does not expect me so soon, and
+my arrival will surprise her.
+
+
+
+SCENE II
+
+ALCMENE, CLEANTHIS, AMPHITRYON, SOSIE
+
+ALC. Come, Cleanthis, let us attend the Gods, pay them our homage for
+my husband's sake, and thank them for the glorious success, of which
+Thebes, by his arm, reaps the advantage. O ye Gods!
+
+AMPH. Heaven grant that victorious Amphitryon may be met with renewed
+pleasure by his wife: that this day may be favourable to my passion, and
+restore you to me with the same heart: may I again find as much love as
+my heart brings to you!
+
+ALC. Ah! Have you returned so soon.
+
+AMPH. Really, you give me but a sorry proof of your love; this, 'Ah!
+have you returned so soon?' is scarcely the language a heart really
+inflamed with love would use on such an occasion as this. I dared to
+flatter myself I had remained away from you too long. The expectation
+of an ardently longed for return makes each moment seem of great length;
+the absence of what we love, however brief it may be, is always too
+long.
+
+ALC. I do not see...
+
+AMPH. No, Alcmene, time is measured in such cases by one's impatience;
+you count the moments of absence as one who does not love. When we
+really love, the slightest separation kills us; the one whom we love to
+see never returns too soon. I confess that the love I bear you has cause
+to complain of your reception; I expected different expressions of joy
+and tenderness from your heart.
+
+ALC. I cannot understand on what you found the words you have just
+uttered; if you complain of me, upon my word I do not know what would
+satisfy you. I think I showed a sufficiently tender joy last night, at
+your happy return; my heart responded by every means you could wish to
+the claims of your affection.
+
+AMPH. In what way?
+
+ALC. Did I not clearly show the sudden transports of a perfect joy?
+Could a heart's feelings be better expressed at the return of a husband
+who is tenderly loved?
+
+AMPH. What do you say?
+
+ALC. That even your affection showed an inconceivable joy at my
+reception; and that, as you left me at break of day, I do not see that
+my surprise at this sudden return is so guilty.
+
+AMPH. Did you, in a dream last night, Alcmene, anticipate in idea the
+reality of my hastened return; and having, perhaps, treated me kindly in
+your sleep, does your heart think it has fully acquitted itself of its
+duty to my passion?
+
+ALC. Has some malignant vapour in your mind, Amphitryon, clouded the
+truth of last night's return? Does your heart pretend to take away from
+me the credit of all the gentle affection I showed you in my tender
+welcome?
+
+AMPH. This vapour you attribute to me seems to me somewhat strange.
+
+ALC. It is in return for the dream which you attribute to me.
+
+AMPH. Unless it is because of a dream, what you have just now told me is
+entirely inexcusable.
+
+ALC. Unless it is a vapour which troubles your mind, what I have heard
+from you cannot be justified.
+
+AMPH. Let us leave this vapour for a moment, Alcmene.
+
+ALC. Let us leave this dream for a moment, Amphitryon.
+
+AMPH. One cannot jest on the subject in question without being carried
+too far.
+
+ALC. Undoubtedly; and, as a sure proof of it, I begin to feel somewhat
+uneasy.
+
+AMPH. Is it thus you wish to try to make amends for the welcome of which
+I complain?
+
+ALC. Do you desire to try to amuse yourself by this feint?
+
+AMPH. For Heaven's, sake, I beseech you, Alcmene! Let us cease this, and
+talk seriously.
+
+ALC. You carry your amusement too far, Amphitryon: let there be an end
+to this raillery.
+
+AMPH. Do you really dare maintain to my face that I was seen here before
+this hour?
+
+ALC. Have you really the assurance to deny that you came here early
+yesterday evening?
+
+AMPH. I! I came yesterday?
+
+ALC. Certainly; and you went away again before dawn.
+
+AMPH. Heavens! Was ever such a debate as this heard before? Who would
+not be astonished at all this? Sosie?
+
+SOS. She needs six grains of hellebore, Monsieur; her brain is turned.
+
+AMPH. Alcmene, in the name of all the Gods, this discourse will have a
+strange ending! Recollect your senses a little better, and think what
+you say.
+
+ALC. I am indeed thinking seriously; all in the house saw your arrival.
+I am ignorant what motive makes you act thus; but, if the thing were
+in need of proof, if it were true that such a thing could be forgotten,
+from whom, but from you, could I have heard the news of the latest of
+all your battles, and of the five diamonds worn by Pterelas, who was
+plunged into eternal night by the strength of your arm? Could one wish
+for surer testimony?
+
+AMPH. What? I have already given you the cluster of diamonds which I had
+for my share, and intended for you?
+
+ALC. Assuredly. It is not difficult to convince you thoroughly on that
+point.
+
+AMPH. How?
+
+ALC. Here it is.
+
+AMPH. Sosie!
+
+SOS. She is jesting: I have it here; Monsieur, the feint is useless.
+
+AMPH. The seal is whole.
+
+ALC. Is it a vision? There. Will you think this proof strong enough?
+
+AMPH. Ah Heaven! O just Heaven!
+
+ALC. Come, Amphitryon, you are joking in acting thus: you ought to be
+ashamed of it.
+
+AMPH. Break this seal, quickly.
+
+SOS. (Having opened the casket.) Upon my word, the casket is empty.
+It must have been taken out by witchcraft, or else it came by itself a
+guide, to her whom it knew it was intended to adorn.
+
+AMPH. O Gods, whose power governs all things, what is this adventure?
+What can I augur from it that does not clutch at my heart?
+
+SOS. If she speaks the truth, we have the same lot, and, like me,
+Monsieur, you are double.
+
+AMPH. Be silent.
+
+ALC. Why are you so surprised? What causes all this confusion?
+
+AMPH. O Heaven! What strange perplexity! I see incidents which surpass
+Nature, and my honour fears an adventure which my mind does not
+understand.
+
+ALC. Do you still wish to deny your hasty return, when you have this
+sensible proof of it?
+
+AMPH. No; but if it be possible, deign to tell me what passed at this
+return.
+
+ALC. Since you ask an account of the matter, you still say it was not
+you?
+
+AMPH. Pardon me; but I have a certain reason which makes me ask you to
+give us this account.
+
+ALC. Have the important cares which perhaps engross you made you so
+quickly lose the remembrance of it?
+
+AMPH. Perhaps; but, in short, you would please me by telling me the
+whole story.
+
+ALC. The story is not long. I advanced towards you full of a delighted
+surprise; I embraced you tenderly, and showed my joy more than once.
+
+AMPH. (to himself.) Ah! I could have done without so sweet a welcome.
+
+ALC. You first made me this valuable gift, which you destined for me
+from the spoils of the conquered. Your heart vehemently unfolded to me
+all the violence of its love, and the annoying duties which had kept it
+enchained, the happiness of seeing me again, the torments of absence,
+all the care which your impatience to return had given you; never
+has your love, on similar occasions, seemed to me so tender and so
+passionate.
+
+AMPH. (to himself.) Can one be more cruelly tortured?
+
+ALC. As you may well believe, these transports and this tenderness did
+not displease me; if I must confess it, Amphitryon, my heart found a
+thousand charms in them.
+
+AMPH. What followed, pray?
+
+ALC. We interrupted each other with a thousand questions concerning each
+other. The table was laid. We supped together by ourselves; and, supper
+over, we went to bed.
+
+AMPH. Together?
+
+ALC. Assuredly. What a question?
+
+AMPH. Ah; this is the most cruel stroke of all; my jealous passion
+trembled to assure itself of this.
+
+ALC. Why do you blush so deeply at a word? Have I done something wrong
+in going to bed with you?
+
+AMPH. No, to my great misery, it was not I; whoever says I was here
+yesterday, tells, of all falsehoods, the most horrible.
+
+ALC. Amphitryon!
+
+AMPH. Perfidious woman!
+
+ALC. Ah! What madness is this!
+
+AMPH. No, no; no more sweetness, no more respect; this rebuff puts an
+end to all my constancy; at this ghastly moment, my heart breathes only
+fury and, vengeance.
+
+ALC. On whom then would you be avenged? What want of faith in me makes
+you treat me now as a criminal?
+
+AMPH. I do not know, but it was not I; this despair makes me capable of
+anything.
+
+ALC. Away unworthy husband, the deed speaks for itself, the imposture
+is frightful. It is too great an insult to accuse me of infidelity.
+If these confused transports mean that you seek a pretext to break the
+nuptial bonds which hold me enchained to you, all these pretences are
+superfluous, for I am determined that this day all our ties shall be
+broken.
+
+AMPH. After the unworthy affront, which I now learn has been done me,
+that is indeed what you must prepare yourself for; it is the least that
+can be expected; and things may not perhaps remain there. The dishonour
+is sure; my misery is made plain to me; and my pride in vain would hide
+it from me. The details are still not clear: My anger is just and I
+claim to be enlightened. Your brother can positively avouch that I did
+not leave him until this morning: I will go and seek him, in order that
+I may confound you about the return falsely imputed to me. Afterwards,
+we will penetrate to the bottom of a mystery unheard of until now; and,
+in the fury of a righteous anger, woe to him who has betrayed me!
+
+SOS. Monsieur...
+
+AMPH. Do not accompany me, but remain here for me.
+
+CLE. Must I...?
+
+ALC. I cannot hear anything: leave me alone: do not follow me.
+
+
+
+SCENE III
+
+CLEANTHIS, SOSIE
+
+CLE. Something must have turned his brain; but the brother will soon
+finish this quarrel.
+
+SOS. This is a very sharp blow for my master; his fate is cruel.
+I greatly fear something coming for myself. I will go softly in
+enlightening her.
+
+CLE. Let me see whether he will so much as speak to me! I will not
+reveal anything.
+
+SOS. These things are often annoying when one knows about them: I
+hesitate to ask her. Would it not be better not to risk anything, and to
+ignore what may have happened? Yet, at all hazard, I must see. I cannot
+help myself. Curiosity concerning things which one would rather not know
+is a human weakness. Heaven preserve you, Cleanthis!
+
+CLE. Ah! Ah! You dare to come near me, you villain!
+
+SOS. Good Heavens! What is the matter with you? You are always in a
+temper, and become angry about nothing!
+
+CLE. What do you call about nothing? Speak out.
+
+SOS. I call about nothing what is called about nothing in verse as well
+as in prose; and nothing, as you well know, means to say nothing, or
+very little.
+
+CLE. I do not know what keeps me from scratching your eyes out, infamous
+rascal, to teach you how far the anger of a woman can go.
+
+SOS. Hullo! What do you mean by this furious rage?
+
+CLE. Then you call that nothing, perhaps, which you have done to me?
+
+SOS. What was that?
+
+CLE. So? You feign to be innocent? Do you follow the example of your
+master and say you did not return here?
+
+SOS. No, I know the contrary too well; but I will be frank with you.
+We had drunk some wretched wine, which might have made me forget what I
+did.
+
+CLE. You think, perhaps, to excuse yourself by this trick,...
+
+SOS. No, in truth you may believe me. I was in such a condition that I
+may have done things I should regret; I do not remember what they were.
+
+CLE. You do not even remember the manner in which you thought fit to
+treat me when you came from the port?
+
+SOS. Not at all. You had better tell me all about it; I am just and
+sincere, and would condemn myself were I wrong.
+
+CLE. Well? Amphitryon having warned me of your return, I sat up until you
+came; but I never saw such coldness: I had myself to remind you that you
+had a wife; and, when I wanted to kiss you, you, turned away your head,
+and gave me your ear.
+
+SOS. Good.
+
+CLE. What do you mean by good?
+
+SOS. Good gracious! You do not know why I talk like this, Cleanthis: I
+had been eating garlic, and, like a well-bred man, just turned my breath
+away from you.
+
+CLE. I showed you every possible tenderness; but you were as deaf as a
+post to everything I said; never a kind word passed your lips.
+
+SOS. Courage!
+
+CLE. In short, my flame bad to burn alone, its chaste ardour did not
+find anything in you but ice; you were the culprit in a return that
+might have been so different: you even went so far as to refuse to take
+your place in bed, which the laws of wedlock oblige you to occupy.
+
+SOS. What? Did I not go to bed?
+
+CLE. No, you coward.
+
+SOS. Is it possible?
+
+CLE. It is but too true, you rascal. Of all affronts this affront is the
+greatest; and, instead of your heart repairing its wrong this morning,
+you left me with words full of undisguised contempt.
+
+SOS. Vivat Sosie!
+
+CLE. Eh, what? Has my complaint had this effect? You laugh at your fine
+goings on?
+
+SOS. How pleased I am with myself!
+
+CLE. Is this the way to express your grief at such an outrage?
+
+SOS. I should never have believed I could be so prudent.
+
+CLE. Instead of condemning yourself for such a perfidious trick, you
+rejoice at it to my face!
+
+SOS. Good gracious! Gently, gently! If I appear pleased, you must
+believe that I have a very strong private reason for it; without
+thinking of it, I never did better than in using you in such a manner as
+I did.
+
+CLE. Are you laughing at me, you villain?
+
+SOS. No, I am speaking openly to you. I was in a wretched state. I had
+a certain load, which your words have lifted from my soul. I was very
+apprehensive, and feared that I had played the fool with you.
+
+CLE. What is this fear? Come, let us know what you mean.
+
+SOS. The doctors say that, when one is drunk, one should abstain from
+one's wife, for, in that condition we can only have children who are
+dull, and who cannot live. Think, if my heart had not armed itself with
+coldness, what troubles might have followed!
+
+CLE. I do not care a fig for doctors, with their insipid reasonings. Let
+them rule those who are sick without wishing to govern healthy people.
+They meddle with too many affairs when they seek to rein in our chaste
+desires; in addition to the dog days, and their strict rules, they tell
+us a hundred ridiculous stories into the bargain.
+
+SOS. Gently.
+
+CLE. No; I maintain theirs is a worthless conclusion: those reasons come
+from idiotic brains. Neither wine nor time ought to prevent the duties
+of conjugal love from being fulfilled; doctors are donkeys.
+
+SOS. I entreat you, moderate your anger against them; they are honest
+people, whatever the world may say of them.
+
+CLE. Things are not what you think them; you can shut up; your excuse
+will not go down; and, sooner or later, I tell you plainly, I will
+avenge myself for the contempt you show me every day. I remember
+everything you said just now, and I shall try to make use of the liberty
+you gave me, You faithless, cowardly husband.
+
+SOS. What?
+
+CLE. You told me just now, you villain, that you would heartily agree to
+my loving another.
+
+SOS. Ah! In that matter I was wrong. I retract; my honour is at stake.
+You had better beware you do not give way to that sentiment.
+
+CLE. Nevertheless if some time I can make up my mind to the thing...
+
+SOS. Just stop talking for the present. Amphitryon is coming back, and
+he seems pleased.
+
+
+
+SCENE IV
+
+JUPITER, CLEANTHIS, SOSIE
+
+JUP. I shall take this opportunity of appearing to Alcmene to banish
+the sorrow in which she wishes to indulge, and, under the pretence
+that brings me here, I will gratify my passion with the delight of a
+reconciliation with her. Alcmene is upstairs, is she not?
+
+CLE. Yes; she is thoroughly upset and wishes to be left alone: she has
+forbidden me to follow her.
+
+JUP. Whatever prohibition she may have given you does not concern me.
+
+CLE. So far as I can see, his grief has beaten a quick retreat.
+
+
+
+SCENE V
+
+CLEANTHIS, SOSIE
+
+SOS. What do you say, Cleanthis, to these cheerful looks, after his
+terrible rage?
+
+CLE. That we should all do well to send all men to the devil; the best
+of them is not worth much.
+
+SOS. You say that because you are in a passion; but you are too fond of
+men; upon my word, you would all look as black as thunder if the devil
+were to take them all away.
+
+CLE. Really...
+
+SOS. Here they come. Hush.
+
+
+
+SCENE VI
+
+JUPITER, ALCMENE, CLEANTHIS, SOSIE
+
+JUP. Do you want to drive me to despair? Alas! Stay, lovely Alcmene.
+
+ALC. No, I cannot remain longer with the author of my grief.
+
+JUP. I beseech you
+
+ALC. Leave me.
+
+JUP. What...?
+
+ALC. Leave me, I tell you.
+
+JUP. Her tears touch me to the heart; her sorrow troubles me. Allow me
+to
+
+ALC. No, do not follow me.
+
+JUP. Where are you going?
+
+ALC. Where you are not.
+
+JUP. That would be a vain attempt to make. I am linked to your beauty
+by too close a bond to suffer a moment's separation from you. I shall
+follow you everywhere, Alcmene.
+
+ALC. And I shall flee from you everywhere.
+
+JUP. I am very terrible, then!
+
+ALC. Yes, more than I can say. Indeed, I look upon you as a frightful
+monster, a cruel, furious monster, whose approach is to be feared; as a
+monster to be avoided everywhere. My heart suffers incredible grief
+at the sight of you; it is a torture that overpowers me; I do not know
+anything under Heaven so frightful, horrible and odious, that I could
+not better endure than you.
+
+JUP. Alas! Do these words really come from your mouth?
+
+ALC. I have many more in my heart; I only regret I cannot find words to
+express all I feel.
+
+JUP. Ah! What has my heart done to you, Alcmene, that I should be looked
+upon as such a monster?
+
+ALC. Oh! Just Heaven! He can ask that? Is it not enough to drive me mad?
+
+JUP. Yet, in a milder spirit...
+
+ALC. No; I do not wish either to see or to hear anything of you.
+
+JUP. Have you really the heart to treat me thus? Is this the tender love
+which I heard yesterday was to last so long?
+
+ALC. No, no, it is not; your base insults have ordained it otherwise.
+That passionate and tender love does not exist any longer; you have
+cruelly killed it in my heart by a hundred keen wounds. In its
+place stands an inflexible wrath, a lively resentment, an invincible
+indignation, the despair of a heart justly incensed, which resolves to
+hate you for this grievous injury, as much as it was willing to love
+you; that is to say to hate as much as possible.
+
+JUP. Alas! Your love must have had but little strength, if it can be
+killed by so slight a matter! Can a jest divorce us? Is there any need
+to be so roused at a trifle?
+
+ALC. Ah! It is just that which offends me: that which my anger cannot
+pardon. I should have felt less wounded by the justifiable transports
+of a fit of jealousy. Jealousy makes impressions the force of which
+oftentimes carries us beyond our control; at such times the most
+discreet mind, no doubt, finds it difficult enough to answer for its
+deeds. The violence of a heart which may have been deluded has, in its
+very delusion, a peace-offering for an aggrieved soul, and the love that
+gave birth to its fears, furnishes, in spite of all its violence, at
+least some reasons to urge as excuse. Outbursts such as these ever have
+love as an excuse against anger: for love gave birth to them, and we can
+easily pardon what we cannot control.
+
+But to fly into uncontrollable fury, in gaiety of heart, and so
+causelessly and keenly to wound the tenderness and honour of a heart
+that dearly loves you, ah! It is too cruel a blow: my grief can never
+forget it.
+
+JUP. Yes, you are right, Alcmene; I admit it. This action is
+unquestionably an odious crime; I do not pretend to justify it longer:
+yet allow my heart to defend itself in your eyes, and let it reveal to
+you who is to blame for this insulting fury. To tell you frankly, it is
+the husband Alcmene, who has done this wrong; it is the husband whom you
+must blame. The lover has no share in this churlish anger: his heart is
+not capable of offending you. He has too much respect and affection for
+you ever to think of it; had he been guilty of the crime of doing aught
+that could wound you, he would pierce himself with a hundred stabs
+before your eyes. But the husband has cast aside that humble submission
+which should always be yours; by his harsh deeds, the husband has made
+himself known; he thought the rights of marriage allowed him everything.
+Yes, it is he no doubt who is guilty towards you; he only has
+ill-treated your lovely person. Hate, detest the husband; I consent to
+it; I yield him to your mercy; but, Alcmene, spare the lover from
+the anger which such an offence gives you; do not let him suffer;
+differentiate between him and the guilty one; and, finally, in order to
+be just, do not punish him for what he has not done.
+
+ALC. Oh! All these subtleties are but frivolous excuses; such language
+only annoys incensed minds. In vain do you use these ridiculous
+prevarications. I do not make any distinction in him who offends me;
+everything in him becomes the object of my anger, the lover and the
+husband are alike confounded in its just violence. Both occupy my
+thoughts; both are painted in the same colours by my wounded heart. Both
+are guilty; both have offended me; and both are odious to me.
+
+JUP. Well! Then, since you wish it, I must charge myself with the
+offence. Yes, you are right, when you sacrifice me as a guilty victim to
+your resentment. Anger towards me sways you; it is but too just, and all
+the terrible wrath you show causes me to suffer only lawful torments. It
+is right you should shun my presence, and in your anger threaten to flee
+from me everywhere. I must be a detestable object to you; you are right
+in thinking ill of me. My crime in being offensive in your charming
+eyes surpasses every horror; it is a crime that offends men and Gods; in
+short, as punishment for my insolence I deserve that your hatred should
+vent its utmost upon me. I beg your forgiveness, I beg it upon my knees,
+I beg it for the sake of the most lively passion, of the tenderest love
+for you, which has ever been kindled in a human breast. If, charming
+Alcmene, your heart refuses me the pardon which I have the audacity to
+seek, then shall a well-aimed stroke put an end to my life, and release
+me from the harsh severity of a penalty which I can no longer bear. Yes,
+this state of things drives me to despair. Do not think, Alcmene, that,
+enamoured as I am of your celestial charms, I can live a day under your
+wrath. Even these moments' agony is barbarously prolonged and my sad
+heart sinks under their mortal blows. The cruel wounds of a thousand
+vultures are not comparable in any way to my lively grief. Alcmene, you
+have but to tell me I need not hope for pardon: and immediately this
+sword, by a happy thrust, shall pierce the heart of a miserable wretch
+before your eyes. This heart, this traitorous heart, too deserving of
+death, since it has offended an adorable being, will be happy if, in
+descending into the place of shades, my death appeases your anger, and,
+after this wretched day, it leaves in your soul no impression of hatred
+in remembering my love! This is all I ask as a sovereign favour.
+
+ALC. Ah! Cruel husband.
+
+JUP. Speak, Alcmene, speak.
+
+ALC. Must I still keep some kindness for you, who insult me by so many
+indignities?
+
+JUP. Whatever resentment an outrage causes us, can it hold out against
+the remorse of a heart deeply in love?
+
+ALC. A heart full of passion would rather expose itself to a thousand
+deaths, than offend the object beloved.
+
+JUP. The more one loves, the easier it is
+
+ALC. No, do not speak to me any longer about it; you deserve my hatred.
+
+JUP. You hate me then?
+
+ALC. I make every effort to do so, and it annoys me to feel that all
+your insults do not yet carry my vengeance so far as yield to it.
+
+JUP. But why this violence, since I offer to kill myself to satisfy your
+revenge? Pronounce the sentence and immediately I will obey.
+
+ALC. It is impossible to wish for another's death if hatred be absent.
+
+JUP. I cannot live unless you abandon the wrath that overwhelms me, and
+unless you grant me the favour of a pardon which I beg at your feet.
+Decide to do one or the other quickly: to punish, or to absolve.
+
+ALC. Alas! The only resolution I can take is but too clearly apparent.
+My heart has too plainly betrayed me, for me to wish to maintain this
+anger: is it not to say we pardon, when we say we cannot hate?
+
+JUP. Ah, charming Alcmene, overwhelmed with delight I must...
+
+ALC. Forbear: I hate myself for such weakness.
+
+JUP. Go, Sosie, make haste; a sweet joy fills my soul. See what officers
+of the army you can find, and ask them to dine with me. (Softly aside.)
+Mercury can fill his post, while he is away from here.
+
+
+
+SCENE VII
+
+CLEANTHIS, SOSIE
+
+SOS. Come! Now, you see, this couple, Cleanthis. Will you follow
+their example, and let us also make peace? Indulge in some slight
+reconciliation?
+
+CLE. For the sake of your lovely mug, Oh yes! I will, and no mistake.
+
+SOS. What? You will not?
+
+CLE. No.
+
+SOS. It doesn't matter to me. So much the worse for you.
+
+CLE. Well, well, come back.
+
+SOS. No, not, likely! I shall not do anything of the kind, I shall be
+angry. I turn now.
+
+CLE. Go away, you villain, let me alone; one gets tired now and then of
+being an honest woman.
+
+END OF THE SECOND ACT
+
+
+
+
+ACT III
+
+
+
+SCENE I
+
+AMPHITRYON
+
+Yes, so doubt fate hides him purposely from me; at last am I tired of
+trying to find him. I do not know anything that can be more cruel than
+my lot. In spite of all my endeavours, I cannot find him whom I seek;
+all those I do not seek I find. A thousand tiresome bores, who do not
+think they are so, drive me mad with their congratulations on our feats
+of arms, although they know little of me. In the cruel embarrassment and
+anxiety that troubles me, they all burden me with their attentions, and
+their rejoicings make my uneasiness worse. In vain I try to pass them
+by, to flee from their persecutions; their killing friendship stops me
+on all sides; whilst I reply to the ardour of their expressions by a nod
+of the head, I mutter under my breath a hundred curses on them. Ah! How
+little we are flattered by praise, honour and all that a great victory
+brings, when inwardly we suffer keen sorrow! How willingly would I
+exchange all this glory to have peace of mind! At every turn my jealousy
+twits me with my disgrace; the more my mind ponders over it, the less
+can I unravel its miserable confusion. The theft of the diamonds does
+not astonish me; seals may be tampered with unperceived; but my most
+cruel torment is that she insists I gave the gift to her personally
+yesterday. Nature oftentimes produces resemblances, which some impostors
+have adopted in order to deceive; but it is inconceivable that, under
+these appearances, a man should pass himself off as a husband; there are
+a thousand differences in a relationship such as this which a wife could
+easily detect. The marvellous effects of Thessalian magic have at all
+times been renowned; but I have always looked upon as idle tales the
+famous stories everyone talks of. It would be a hard fate if I, after so
+glorious a victory elsewhere, should be compelled to believe them at
+the cost of my own honour. I will question her again upon this wretched
+mystery, and see if it is not a silly fancy that has taken advantage of
+her disordered brain. O righteous Heaven, may this thought be true, and
+may she even have lost her senses, so that I may be happy!
+
+
+
+SCENE II
+
+MERCURY, AMPHITRYON
+
+MERC. Since love does not offer me any pleasure here, I will at least
+enjoy myself in another way, and enliven my dismal leisure by putting
+Amphitron out of all patience. This may not be very charitable in a
+God; but I shall not bother myself about that; my planet tells me I am
+somewhat given to malice.
+
+AMPH. How is it that the door is closed at this hour?
+
+MERC. Hullo! Gently, gently! Who knocks?
+
+AMPH. I.
+
+MERC. Who, I?
+
+AMPH. Ah! Open.
+
+MERC. What do you mean by 'open'? Who are you, pray, to make such a row,
+and speak like that?
+
+AMPH. So? You do not know me?
+
+MERC. No, nor have I the least wish to.
+
+AMPH. Is every one losing his senses today? Is the malady spreading?
+Sosie! Hullo, Sosie!
+
+MERC. Come, now! Sosie: that is my name; are you afraid I shall forget
+it?
+
+AMPH. Do you see me?
+
+MERC. Well enough. What can possess your arm to make such an uproar?
+What do you want down there?
+
+AMPH. I, you gallows-bird! What do I want?
+
+MERC. What do you not want then? Speak, if you want to be understood.
+
+AMPH. Listen, you villain: I will come up with a stick to make you
+understand, and give you a fine lesson. How dare you speak to me like
+that?
+
+MERC. Softly, softly! If you make the least attempt to create an uproar,
+I shall send you down some messengers who will annoy you.
+
+AMPH. Oh Heavens! Did anyone ever conceive such insolence? And from a
+servant, from a beggar?
+
+MERC. Come, now! What is the matter? Have you gone over everything
+correctly? Have your big eyes taken everything in? He glares, so savage
+he looks! If looks could bite, he would have torn me to shreds by now.
+
+AMPH. I tremble at what you are bringing upon yourself with all this
+impudent talk. What a frightful storm you are brewing for yourself! What
+a tempest of blows will storm down on your back!
+
+MERC. If you do not soon disappear from here, my friend, you may come in
+for some mauling.
+
+AMPH. Ah! You villain, you shall know to your confusion what it is for a
+valet to attack his master.
+
+MERC. You, my master?
+
+AMPH. Yes, rascal. Do you dare to say you do not recognise me?
+
+MERC. I do not recognise any other master than Amphitryon.
+
+AMPH. And who, besides myself, may this Amphitryon be?
+
+MERC. Amphitryon?
+
+AMPH. Certainly.
+
+MERC. Ah! What an illusion! Come, tell me in what decent tavern you have
+addled your brain?
+
+AMPH. What? Again?
+
+MERC. Was it a feast-day wine?
+
+AMPH. Heavens!
+
+MERC. Was it old or new?
+
+AMPH. What insults!
+
+MERC. New goes to one's head, if drunk without water.
+
+AMPH. Ah! I shall tear your tongue out soon.
+
+MERC. Pass on, my dear friend; believe me, no one here will listen to
+you. I respect wine. Go away, make yourself scarce, and leave Amphitryon
+to the pleasures which he is tasting.
+
+AMPH. What! Is Amphitryon in there?
+
+MERC. Rather: covered with the laurels of his fine victory, he is side
+by side with the lovely Alcmene enjoying the delights of a charming
+tete-a-tete. They are tasting the pleasures of being reconciled, now
+their love-tiff has blown over. Take care how you disturb their sweet
+privacy, unless you wish him to punish you for your excessive rashness.
+
+
+
+SCENE III
+
+AMPHITRYON
+
+Ah! What a frightful blow he has given me! How cruelly has he put me to
+confusion! If matters are as this villain says, to what a state are my
+honour and my affection reduced? What course can I adopt? Am I to noise
+it abroad or keep it secret? Ought I, in my anger, to keep the dishonour
+of my house to myself or make it public? Come! Must one even think what
+to do in so gross an affront? I have no standing, nothing to hope for;
+all my anxiety now shall be how to avenge myself.
+
+
+
+SCENE IV
+
+SOSIE, NAUCRATES, POLIDAS, AMPHITRYON
+
+SOS. All I have been able to do, Monsieur, with all my diligence, is to
+have brought these gentlemen here.
+
+AMPH. Ah! You are here?
+
+SOS. Monsieur.
+
+AMPH. Insolent, bold rascal!
+
+SOS. What?
+
+AMPH. I shall teach you to treat me thus.
+
+SOS. What is it? What is the matter with you?
+
+AMPH. What is the matter with me, villain?
+
+SOS. Hullo, gentlemen, come here quickly.
+
+NAU. Ah! Stay, I beseech you.
+
+SOS. Of what am I guilty?
+
+AMPH. You ask me that, you scoundrel? Let me satisfy my righteous anger.
+
+SOS. When they hang any one, they tell him why they do it.
+
+NAU. At least condescend to tell us what his crime may be.
+
+SOS. I beseech you, gentlemen, keep a tight hold of me.
+
+AMPH. Yes! He has just had the audacity to shut the door in my face, and
+to add threats to a thousand impudent jeers! Ah! You villain!
+
+SOS. I am dead.
+
+NAU. Restrain this anger.
+
+SOS. Gentlemen.
+
+POL. What is it?
+
+SOS. Has he struck me?
+
+AMPH. No, he must have his reward for the language he has made free to
+use just now.
+
+SOS. How could that be when I was elsewhere busy carrying out your
+orders? These gentlemen here can bear witness that I have just invited
+them to dine with you.
+
+NAU. That is true: he has just delivered us this message, and would not
+quit us.
+
+AMPH. Who gave you that order?
+
+SOS. You.
+
+AMPH. When?
+
+SOS. After you made your peace, when you were rejoicing at the delight
+of having appeased Alcmene's anger.
+
+AMPH. O Heaven! Every instant, every step, adds something to my cruel
+martyrdom; I am so utterly confused that I no longer know either what to
+believe or what to say.
+
+NAU. All he has just told us, of what has happened at your house,
+surpasses what is natural so much, that before doing anything and before
+flying into such a passion, you ought to clear up the whole of this
+adventure.
+
+AMPH. Come; you can second my efforts; Heaven has brought you here most
+opportunely. Let me see what fortune brings me today; let me solve this
+mystery, and know my fate. Alas! I burn to learn it, and I dread it more
+than death.
+
+
+
+SCENE V
+
+JUPITER, AMPHITRYON, NAUCRATES, POLIDAS, SOSIE
+
+JUP. What is this noise that compels me to come down? Who knocks as
+though he were master where I am master?
+
+AMPH. Good Gods! What do I see?
+
+NAU. Heaven! What prodigy is this? What? Here are two Amphitryons!
+
+AMPH. My soul is struck dumb. Alas! I cannot do anything more: the
+adventure is at an end; my fate is clear; what I see tells me all.
+
+NAU. The more narrowly I watch them, the more I find they resemble each
+other.
+
+SOS. Gentlemen, this is the true one; the other is an impostor who ought
+to be chastised.
+
+POL. Truly, this marvellous resemblance keeps my judgment in suspense.
+
+AMPH. We have been tricked too long by an execrable rogue; I must break
+the spell with this steel.
+
+NAU. Stay.
+
+AMPH. Leave me alone.
+
+NAU. Ye Gods! What would you do?
+
+AMPH. Punish the miserable treachery of an impostor.
+
+JUP. Gently, gently! There is very little need of being carried away
+by passion; when a man bursts out in such a rage as this, it makes one
+think he has bad reasons.
+
+SOS. Yes; it is an enchanter, who has a talisman that enables him to
+resemble the masters of houses.
+
+AMPH. For your share in this insulting language, I shall make you feel a
+thousand blows.
+
+SOS. My master is a man of courage: he will not allow his followers to
+be thrashed.
+
+AMPH. Let me assuage my deep anger, and wash out my affront in the
+scoundrel's blood.
+
+NAU. We shall not suffer this strange combat of Amphitryon against
+himself.
+
+AMPH. What? Does my honour receive this treatment from you? Do my
+friends undertake the defence of a rogue? Far from being the first to
+take up my vengeance, they themselves place obstacles in the way of my
+resentment?
+
+NAU. What do you wish us to decide, when two Amphitryons are before us
+and all the warmth of our friendship is in suspense? If we were now to
+show towards you, we fear we might make a mistake, and not recognise
+you. Truly we see in you the appearance of Amphitryon, the glorious
+support of the Thebans' well-being; but we also see the same appearance
+in him, and we cannot judge which he is. Our duty is not doubtful,
+the impostor ought to bite the dust at our hands; but this perfect
+resemblance hides him between you two; and it is too hazardous a stroke
+to undertake in the dark. Let us find out quietly on which side the
+imposture may be; then, as soon as we have unravelled the adventure, it
+will not be necessary for you to tell us our duty.
+
+JUP. Yes, you are right, this resemblance authorises you to doubt both
+of us. I am not offended to see you cannot make up your minds: I am more
+reasonable, and excuse you. The eye cannot differentiate between us. I
+see one can easily be mistaken. You do not see me give way to anger, nor
+draw my sword: that is a bad way to enlighten a mystery; I can find one
+more gentle and more certain. One of us is Amphitryon; and both of us
+may seem so in your eyes. It is for me to end this confusion. I intend
+to make myself so well known to all, that, at the overwhelming proofs I
+shall bring forward to show who I am, he himself shall agree concerning
+the blood from which I sprang, and he shall no longer have occasion to
+say anything. Before all the Thebans I will reveal the truth to you;
+the affair is, unquestionably, of sufficient importance to justify my
+seeking to clear it up in the sight of all. Alcmene expects this public
+testimony from me; her virtue, which is outraged by the noise of this
+mischance, demands justification, and I will see justice is done it. My
+love for her compels me to it. I shall call together an assembly of the
+noblest chiefs, for the explanation her honour requires. While waiting
+with you for these desirable witnesses, I pray you to condescend to
+honour the table to which Sosie has invited you.
+
+SOS. I was not mistaken, gentlemen, this word puts an end to all
+irresolution: the real Amphitryon is the Amphitryon who gives dinners.
+
+AMPH. O Heaven! Can my humiliation go further? Must I indeed suffer the
+martyrdom of listening to all that this impostor has just said to my
+face, my arms bound, though his words drive me mad?
+
+NAU. You are wrong to complain. Let us await the explanation which shall
+render resentment seasonable. I do not know whether he imposes upon us
+or not; but he speaks on the matter as though he were right.
+
+AMPH. Go, you weak-kneed friends, and flatter the imposture. Thebes has
+other friends who will flock round me, different from you. I will go and
+find some who, sharing the insult, will know how to lend their hand in
+my just cause.
+
+JUP. Ah well! I await them; I shall know how to decide the discussion in
+their presence.
+
+AMPH. You rogue, you think perhaps to evade justice thus; but nothing
+shall shield you from my vengeance.
+
+JUP. I shall not now condescend to answer this insulting language; soon
+I shall be able to confound your fury with two words.
+
+AMPH. Not Heaven, not Heaven itself can protect you: I shall dog your
+footsteps even to Hell.
+
+JUP. It will not be necessary; you will soon see I shall not fly away.
+
+AMPH. Now, before he goes away with these, I will make haste to gather
+together friends who will aid my cause; they will come to my house and
+help me to pierce him with a thousand thrusts.
+
+JUP. No ceremony, I implore you; let us go quickly into the house.
+
+NAU. Really, this adventure utterly confounds the senses and the reason.
+
+SOS. A truce, gentlemen, to all your surprises; let us joyfully sit down
+to feed until the morning. I intend to feast well, so that I may be in
+good condition to relate our valiant deeds! I am itching to attack the
+dishes; I never felt so hungry.
+
+
+
+SCENE VI
+
+MERCURY, SOSIE
+
+MERC. Stop. What have you come to poke your nose in here for, you
+impudent turn-spit?
+
+SOS. Ah! Gently, gently, for mercy's sake!
+
+MERC. Ah! You have come back again! I shall tan your hide for you.
+
+SOS. Ah! Brave and generous I, compose yourself, I beseech you. Sosie,
+spare Sosie a little, and do not divert yourself by knocking yourself
+down.
+
+MERC. Who gave you liberty to call yourself by that name? Did I not
+expressly forbid you to do so, under penalty of experiencing a thousand
+cuts from the cane?
+
+SOS. It is a name we both may bear at the same time, under the same
+master. I am recognised as Sosie everywhere; I permit you to be he,
+permit me to be so, too. Let us leave it to the two Amphitryons to give
+vent to their jealousies, and, though they contend, let the two Sosies
+live in the bonds of peace.
+
+MERC. No, one is quite enough; I am determined not to allow any
+division.
+
+SOS. You shall have precedence over me; I will be the younger, and you
+shall be the elder.
+
+MERC. No: a brother is a nuisance, and not to my taste; I intend to be
+the only son.
+
+SOS. O barbarous and tyrannical heart! Allow me at least to be your
+shadow.
+
+MERC. Not at all.
+
+SOS. Let your soul humanise itself with a little pity! Allow me to be
+near you in that capacity: I shall be everywhere so submissive a shadow
+that you will be pleased with me.
+
+MERC. No quarter; the law is immutable. If you again have the audacity
+to go in there, a thousand blows shall be the fruit.
+
+SOS. Alas! Poor Sosie, to what miserable disgrace are you reduced!
+
+MERC. So? Your lips presume again to give yourself a name I forbid!
+
+SOS. No, I did not intend myself; I was speaking of an old Sosie, who
+was formerly a relative of mine, and whom, with the utmost barbarity,
+they drove out of the house at dinner hour.
+
+MERC. Take care you do not fall into that idiocy if you wish to remain
+among the number of the living.
+
+SOS. How I would thwack you if I had the courage, for your wretched
+puffed up pride, you double son of a strumpet!
+
+MERC. What do you say?
+
+SOS. Nothing.
+
+MERC. I am sure you muttered something.
+
+SOS. Ask anyone; I do not breathe.
+
+MERC. Nevertheless I am absolutely certain that something about a son of
+a strumpet struck my ear.
+
+SOS. It must have been a parrot roused by the beautiful weather.
+
+MERC. Adieu. If your back itches for a currying, here is where I live.
+
+SOS. O Heavens! What a cursed hour is the dinner hour to be turned out
+of doors! Come, let us yield to fate in our affliction. Let us today
+follow blind caprice, and join the unfortunate Sosie to the unfortunate
+Amphitryon: it is a suitable union. I see he is coming in good company.
+
+
+
+SCENE VII
+
+AMPHITRYON, ARGATIPHONTIDAS, POSICLES, SOSIE
+
+AMPH. Stay here, gentlemen, follow me a little way off, and do not all
+advance, I pray you, until there is need for it.
+
+POS. I quite understand this blow touches you to the heart.
+
+AMPH. Ah! My sorrow is bitter through and through: I suffer in my
+affection, as much as in my honour.
+
+POS. If this resemblance is such as is said, Alcmene, without being
+guilty...
+
+AMPH. Ah! In this affair, a simple error becomes a veritable crime,
+and, though no way consenting, innocence perishes in it. Such errors,
+in whatever way we look at them, affect us in the most sensitive parts;
+reason often, often pardons them, when honour and love cannot.
+
+ARGAT. I do not bother my thoughts about that; but I hate your gentlemen
+for their disgraceful delay; it is a proceeding which wounds me to the
+quick, and one which courageous people will never approve. When any
+man has need of us, we ought to throw ourselves headforemost into his
+concerns. Argatiphontidas is not one for compromising matters. It is
+not seemly for men of honour to listen to the arguments of a friend's
+adversary; one should only listen to vengeance at such times. The
+proceeding does not please me; in quarrels such as these we ought always
+to begin sending the sword through the body, without any nonsense. Yes,
+whatever happens, you shall see that Argatiphontidas goes straight to
+the point. I entreat you not to let the villain die by any other hand
+than mine.
+
+AMPH. Come on.
+
+SOS. I come, Monsieur, to undergo at your knees the just punishment of
+cursed audacity. Strike, beat, drub, overwhelm me with blows, kill me
+in your anger; you will do well, I deserve it; I shall not say a single
+word against you.
+
+AMPH. Get up. What is the matter?
+
+SOS. I have been turned away unceremoniously; thinking to eat and
+rejoice like them, I did not think that, as it turned out, I was waiting
+there to thrash myself. Yes, the other I, valet to the other you, has
+played the very devil with me once more. The same cruel fate seems to
+pursue us both today, Monsieur. In short, they have un-Sosied me, as
+they un-Amphitryon'd you.
+
+AMPH. Follow me.
+
+SOS. Is it not better to see if anybody is coming?
+
+
+
+SCENE VIII
+
+CLEANTHIS, NAUCRATES, POLIDAS, SOSIE, AMPHITRYON,
+
+ARGATIPHONTIDAS, POSICLES
+
+CLE. O Heaven!
+
+AMPH. What frightens you like this? Why are you afraid of me?
+
+CLE. Why! You are up there and I see you here!
+
+NAU. Do not hurry; here he comes to give, before us all, the explanation
+we want. If we may believe what he has just said about it, it will
+banish away your trouble and care.
+
+
+
+SCENE IX
+
+MERCURY, CLEANTHIS, NAUCRATES, POLIDAS, SOSIE, AMPHITRYON,
+ARGATIPHONTIDAS, POSICLES
+
+MERC. Yes, you shall all see him; know beforehand that it is the
+grand master of the Gods, whom, under the cherished features of this
+resemblance, Alcmene has caused to descend here from the heavens. As
+for me, I am Mercury. Not knowing what else to do, I have given him
+a drubbing whose appearance I took. He may now console himself, for
+strokes from the wand of a God confer honour on him who has to submit to
+them.
+
+SOS. Upon my word, Monsieur God, I am your servant; I could have done
+without your attentions.
+
+MERC. I now give you leave to be Sosie. I am tired of wearing such an
+ugly mug; I am going to the heavens, to scrape it all off with ambrosia.
+(He flies away to the skies.)
+
+SOS. May Heaven forever keep you from the desire of wishing to come near
+me again! Your fury against me has been too bitter; never in my life
+have I seen a God who was more of a devil than you!
+
+
+
+SCENE X
+
+JUPITER, CLEANTHIS, NAUCRATES, POLIDAS, SOSIE, AMPHITRYON,
+ARGATIPHONTIDAS, POSICLES
+
+JUP. (In a cloud,) Behold, Amphitryon, who has imposed on you; under his
+own aspect you see Jupiter. By these signs you may easily know him; they
+are sufficient, I think, to restore your heart where it should be to
+bring back peace and happiness to your family. My name, which the whole
+earth continually adores, thus stifles all scandal that might be spread
+abroad. A share with Jupiter has nothing that in the least dishonours,
+for doubtless, it can be but glorious to find one's self the rival of
+the sovereign of the Gods. I do not see any reason why your love should
+murmur; it is I, God as I am, who ought to be jealous in this affair.
+Alcmene is wholly yours, whatever means one may employ; it must be
+gratifying to your passion to see that there is no other way of pleasing
+her than to appear as her husband. Even Jupiter, clothed in his immortal
+glory, could not by himself undermine her fidelity; what he has received
+from her was granted by her ardent heart only to you.
+
+SOS. The Seigneur Jupiter knows how to gild the pill.
+
+JUP. Cast aside, therefore, the black care that stifles your heart;
+restore perfect peace to the ardour which consumes you. In your house
+shall be born a son, who, under the name of Hercules, shall cause the
+vast universe to ring with his deeds. A glorious future crowned with
+a thousand blessings shall let every one see I am your support; I will
+make your fate the envy of the whole world. You may boldly flatter
+yourself with what these promises confer. It is a crime to doubt them,
+for the words of Jupiter are the decrees of fate. (He is lost in the
+clouds.)
+
+NAU. Truly, I am delighted at these evident marks...
+
+SOS. Gentlemen, will you please take my advice? Do not embark in
+these sugary congratulations; it is a bad speculation; phrases are
+embarrassing on either side, in such a compliment. The great God Jupiter
+has done us much honour, and, unquestionably, his kindness towards us
+is unparalleled; he promises us the infallible happiness of a fortune
+crowned with a thousand blessings, and in our house shall be born a
+brave son. Nothing could be better than this. But, nevertheless, let us
+cut short our speeches, and each one retire quietly to his own house. In
+such affairs as these, it is always best not to say anything.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Amphitryon, by Moliere
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