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+**The Project Gutenberg Etext of Amphitryon, A Play by Moliere**
+#2 in our series by Moliere
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+Title:  Amphitryon
+
+Author:  Moliere
+
+Translated by A.R. Waller
+
+February, 2001  [Etext #2536]
+
+
+**The Project Gutenberg Etext of Amphitryon, A Play by Moliere**
+******This file should be named amphi10.txt or amphi10.zip******
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+This text was prepared by Bob Colomb <colomb@csee.uq.edu.au>
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+
+
+Amphitryon
+
+A play by Moliere
+
+Translated by A.R. Waller, M.A.
+
+
+
+
+Amphitryon was played for the first time in Paris, at the Theatre du
+Palais-Royal, January 13, 1668. It was successfully received,
+holding the boards until the 18th of March, when Easter intervened.
+After the re-opening of the theatre, it was played half a dozen
+times more the same year, and continued to please.
+
+The first edition was published in 1668.
+
+Note: It is perhaps hardly necessary to refer the reader to
+Amphitryon, by Plautus, the comedy upon which Moliere's charming
+play was, in the main, based. The rendering attempted here can give
+but a faint reflection of the original, for hardly any comedy of
+Moliere's loses more in the process of translation.
+
+
+
+
+Amphitryon
+
+A play by Moliere
+
+
+
+
+PROLOGUE
+
+
+
+MERCURY, on a cloud; NIGHT, in a chariot drawn by two horses
+
+MERC. Wait! Gentle Night; deign to stay awhile: Some help is needed
+from you. I have two words to say to you from Jupiter.
+
+NIGHT. Ah! Ah! It is you, Seigneur Mercury! Who would have thought
+of you here, in that position?
+
+MERC. Well, feeling tired, and not being able to fulfil the
+different duties Jupiter ordered me, I quietly sat down on this
+cloud to await your coming.
+
+NIGHT. You jest, Mercury: you do not mean it; does it become the
+Gods to say they are tired?
+
+MERC. Are the Gods made of iron?
+
+NIGHT. No; but one must always have a care for divine decorum. There
+are certain words the use of which debases this sublime quality, and
+it is meet that these should be left to men, because they are unworthy.
+
+MERC. You speak at your ease, fair lady, from a swiftly rolling
+chariot, in which, like a dame free from care; you are drawn by two
+fine horses wherever you like. But it is not the same with me. Such
+is my miserable fate that I cannot bear the poets too great a grudge
+for their gross impertinence in having, by an unjust law, which they
+wish to retain in force, given a separate conveyance to each God,
+for his own use, and left me to go on foot: me, like a village
+messenger, though, as everyone knows, I am the famous messenger of
+the sovereign of the Gods, on the earth and in the heavens. Without
+any exaggeration, I need more than any one else the means of being
+carried about, because of all the duties he puts upon me.
+
+NIGHT. What can one do? The poets do what pleases them. It is not
+the only stupidity we have detected in these gentlemen. But surely
+your irritation against them is wrong, for the wings at your feet
+are a friendly gift of theirs.
+
+MERC. Yes; but does going more quickly tire oneself less?
+
+NIGHT. Let us leave the matter, Seigneur Mercury, and learn what is wanted.
+
+MERC. Jupiter, as I have told you, wishes the dark aid of your cloak
+for a certain gallant adventure, which a new love affair has
+furnished him. His custom is not new to you, I believe: often does
+he neglect the heavens for the earth; and you are not ignorant that
+this master of the Gods loves to take upon himself the guise of man
+to woo earthly beauties. He knows a hundred ingenious tricks to
+entrap the most obdurate. He has felt the darts of Alcmene's eyes;
+and, whilst Amphitryon, her husband, commands the Theban troops on
+the plains of Boeotia, Jupiter has taken his form, and assuaged his
+pains, in the possession of the sweetest of pleasures. The condition
+of the couple is propitious to his desire: Hymen joined them only a
+few days ago; and the young warmth of their tender love suggested to
+Jupiter to have recourse to this fine artifice. His stratagem proved
+successful in this case; but with many a cherished object a similar
+disguise would not be of any use: it is not always a sure means of
+pleasing, to adopt the form, of a husband.
+
+NIGHT. I admire Jupiter, and I cannot imagine all the disguises
+which come into his head.
+
+MERC. By these means he wishes to taste all sorts of conditions:
+that is the act of a God who is not a fool. However mortals may
+regard him, I should think very meanly of him if he never quitted
+his redoubtable mien, and were always in the heavens, standing upon
+his dignity. In my opinion, there is nothing more idiotic than
+always to be imprisoned in one's grandeur; above all, a lofty rank
+becomes very inconvenient in the transports of amorous ardour.
+Jupiter, no doubt, is a connoisseur in pleasure, and he knows how to
+descend from the height of his supreme glory. So that he can enter
+into everything that pleases him, he entirely casts aside himself,
+and then it is no longer Jupiter who appears.
+
+NIGHT. I could overlook seeing him step down from his sublime stage
+to that of men, since he wishes to enter into all the transports
+which their natures can supply, and join in their jests, if, in the
+changes which take his fancy, he would confine himself to nature.
+But I do not think it fitting to see Jupiter as a bull, a serpent, a
+swan, or what not, and it does not astonish me that it is sometimes
+talked about.
+
+MERC. Let all the busybodies talk; such changes have their own
+charms and surpass people's understanding. The God knows what he
+does in this affair as in everything else: in the movements of their
+tender passions, animals are not so loutish as one might think.
+
+NIGHT. Let us return to the lady whose favours he enjoys. If, by his
+stratagem, his pursuit is successful, what more can he wish? What can I do?
+
+MERC. He wishes that you would slacken the pace of your horses, to
+satisfy the passion of his amorous heart, and so make of a
+delightful night the longest night of all; that you would give him
+more time for his transports, and retard the birth of day since it
+will hasten the return of him whose place he occupies.
+
+NIGHT. Really the employment which the great Jupiter reserves for me
+is a worthy one! The service he requires of me passes under a very
+respectable name.
+
+MERC. You are somewhat old-fashioned for a young goddess! Such an
+employment is not debasing except among people of mean birth. When
+one has the happiness of belonging to lofty rank, whatever one does
+is always right and good; things change their names to suit what one may be.
+
+NIGHT. You know more about such matters than I do; I will trust to
+your enlightened views and accept this employment.
+
+MERC. Come, come, now, Madam Night, a little gently, I beseech you.
+The world gives you the reputation of not being so scrupulous. In a
+hundred different climes you are made the confidant of many gallant
+adventures; and, if I may speak candidly, we do not owe each other anything.
+
+NIGHT. Let us cease these reproaches and remain what we are. Let us
+not give men cause to laugh by telling each other the truth.
+
+MERC. Adieu. I am going there to play my part in this business,
+promptly to strip myself of the form of Mercury and to take in its
+place the figure of Amphitryon's valet.
+
+NIGHT. I am going to keep station in this hemisphere with my sombre train.
+
+MERC. Good day, Night.
+
+NIGHT. Adieu, Mercury.
+
+(Mercury descends from his cloud to the earth, and Night goes away
+in her chariot.)
+
+END OF THE PROLOGUE.
+
+ACT I
+
+SCENE I
+
+SOSIE
+
+Who goes there? Eh? My fear grows with every step. Gentlemen, I am a
+friend to all the world. Ah! What unparalleled boldness, to be out
+at this hour! My master is crowned with fame, but what a villainous
+trick he plays me here! What? If he had any love for his neighbour,
+would he have sent me out in such a black night? Could he not just
+as well have waited until it was day before sending me to announce
+his return and the details of his victory? To what servitude are thy
+days subjected, Sosie! Our lot is far more hard with the great than
+with the mean. They insist that everything in nature should be
+compelled to sacrifice itself for them.  Night and day, hail, wind,
+peril, heat, cold, as soon as they speak we must fly. Twenty years
+of assiduous service do not gain us any consideration from them. The
+least little whim draws down upon us their anger.
+
+Notwithstanding this, our infatuated hearts cling to the empty
+honour of remaining near them, contented with the false idea, which
+every one holds, that we are happy. In vain reason bids us retire;
+in vain our spite sometimes consents to this; to be near them is too
+powerful an influence on our zeal, and the least favour of a
+caressing glance immediately re-engages us. But at last, I see our
+house through the darkness, and my fear vanishes.
+
+I must prepare some thought-out speech for my mission. I must give
+Alcmene warlike description of the fierce combat which put our
+enemies to flight. But how the deuce can I do this since I was not
+there? Never mind; let us talk of cut and thrust, as though I were
+an eyewitness. How many people describe battles from which they
+remained far away! In order to act my part without discredit, I will
+rehearse it a little.
+
+This is the chamber into which I am ushered as the messenger: this
+lantern is Alcmene, to whom I have to speak. (He sets his lantern on
+the ground and salutes it.) 'Madam, Amphitryon, my master and your
+husband, ... (Good! that is a fine beginning!) whose mind is ever
+full of your charms, has chosen me from amongst all to bring tidings
+of the success of his arms, and of his desire to be near you.' 'Ah!
+Really, my poor Sosie, I am delighted to see you back again.'
+'Madam, you do me too much honour: my lot is an enviable one.' (Well answered!)
+
+'How is Amphitryon?' 'Madam, as a man of courage should be, when
+glory leads him.' (Very good! A capital idea!) 'When will my heart
+be charmed and satisfied by his return?' 'As soon as possible,
+assuredly, Madam, but his heart desires a speedier return.'  (Ah!)
+'In what state has the war left him? What says he? What does he?
+Ease my anxiety.' He says less than he does, Madam, and makes his
+enemies tremble.' (Plague! where do I get all these fine speeches?)
+'What are the rebels doing? Tell me, what is their condition?' 'They
+could not resist our efforts, Madam; we cut them to pieces, put
+their chief, Pterelas, to death, took Telebos by assault; and now
+the port rings with our prowess.' 'Ah! What a success! Ye Gods! Who
+could ever have imagined it? Tell me, Sosie, how it happened.' 'I
+will, gladly, Madam; and, without boasting, I can tell you, with the
+greatest accuracy, the details of this victory. Imagine, therefore,
+Madam, that Telebos is on this side. (He marks the places on his
+hand, or on the ground.) It is a city really almost as large as
+Thebes. The river is, say, there. Here, our people encamped; and
+that space was occupied by our enemies. On a height, somewhere about
+here, was their infantry; and, lower down, on the right side, was
+their cavalry. After having addressed prayers to the Gods, and
+issued all the orders, the signal was given. The enemy, thinking to
+turn our flank, divided their horse soldiers into three platoons;
+but we soon chilled their warmth, and you shall see how. Here is our
+vanguard ready to begin work; there, were the archers of our king,
+Creon; and here, the main army (some one makes a slight noise),
+which was just going to . . . Stay; the main body is afraid'; I
+think I hear some noise.
+
+SCENE II
+
+MERCURY, SOSIE
+
+MERC. (Under the form of Sosie.) Under this mask which resembles him,
+I will drive away the babbler from here. His unfortunate arrival may
+disturb the pleasures our lovers are tasting together.
+
+SOS. My heart revives a little; perhaps it was nothing. Lest
+anything untoward should happen, however, I will go in to finish the
+conversation.
+
+MERC. I shall prevent your doing that unless you are stronger than Mercury.
+
+SOS. This night seems to me unusually long. By the time I have been
+on the way, either my master has taken evening for morning, or
+lovely Phoebus slumbers too long in bed through having taken too much wine.
+
+MERC. With what irreverence this lubber speaks of the Gods! My arm
+shall soon chastise this insolence; I shall have a fine game with
+him, stealing his name as well as his likeness.
+
+SOS. Ah! upon my word, I was right: I am done for, miserable
+creature that I am! I see a man before our house whose mien bodes me
+no good. I will sing a little to show some semblance of assurance.
+
+(He sings; and, when Mercury speaks, his voice weakens, little by little.)
+
+MERC. What rascal is this, who takes the unwarrantable licence of
+singing and deafening me like this? Does he wish me to curry his coat for him?
+
+SOS. Assuredly that fellow does not like music.
+
+MERC. For more than a week, I have not found any one whose bones I
+could break; my arm will lose its strength in this idleness. I must
+look out for some one's back to get my wind again.
+
+SOS. What the deuce of a fellow is this? My heart thrills with
+clutching fear. But why should I tremble thus? Perhaps the rogue is
+as much afraid as I am, and talks in this way to hide his fear from
+me under a feigned audacity. Yes, yes, I will not allow him to think
+me a goose. If I am not bold, I will try to appear so. Let me seek
+courage by reason; he is alone, even as I am; I am strong, I have a
+good master, and there is our house.
+
+MERC. Who goes there?
+
+SOS. I.
+
+MERC. Who, I?
+
+SOS. I. Courage, Sosie!
+
+MERC. Tell me, what is your condition?
+
+SOS. To be a man, and to speak.
+
+MERC. Are you a master, or a servant?
+
+SOS. As fancy takes me.
+
+MERC. Where are you going?
+
+SOS. Where I intend to go.
+
+MERC. Ah! This annoys me.
+
+SOS. I am ravished to hear it.
+
+MERC. By hook or by crook, I must definitely know all about you, you
+wretch; what you do, whence you come before the day breaks, where
+you are going, and who you may be.
+
+SOS. I do good and ill by turns; I come from there; I go there; I
+belong to my master.
+
+MERC. You show wit, and I see you think to play the man of
+importance for my edification. I feel inclined to make your
+acquaintance by slapping your face.
+
+SOS. Mine?
+
+MERC. Yours; and there you get it, sharp. (Mercury gives him a slap.)
+
+SOS. Ah! Ah! This is a fine game!
+
+MERC. No; it is only a laughing matter, a reply to your quips.
+
+SOS. Good heavens! Friend, how you swing out your arm without any
+one saying anything to you.
+
+MERC. These are my lightest clouts, little ordinary smacks.
+
+SOS. If I were as hasty as you, we should have a fine ado.
+
+MERC. All this is nothing as yet: it is merely to fill up time; we
+shall soon see something else; but let us continue our conversation.
+
+SOS. I give up the game. (He turns to go away.)
+
+MERC. Where are you going?
+
+SOS. What does it matter to you?
+
+MERC. I want to know where you are going.
+
+SOS. I am going to open that door. Why do you detain me?
+
+MERC. If you dare to go near it, I shall rain down a storm of blows on you.
+
+SOS. What? You wish to hinder me from entering our own house by threats?
+
+MERC. What do you say, your house?
+
+SOS. Yes, our house.
+
+MERC. O, the scoundrel! You speak of that house?
+
+SOS. Certainly. Is not Amphitryon the master of it?
+
+MERC. Well! What does that prove?
+
+SOS. I am his valet.
+
+MERC. You?
+
+SOS. I.
+
+MERC. His valet?
+
+SOS. Unquestionably.
+
+MERC. Valet of Amphitryon?
+
+SOS. Of Amphitryon himself.
+
+MERC. Your name is?
+
+SOS. Sosie.
+
+MERC. Eh? What?
+
+SOS. Sosie.
+
+MERC. Listen: do you realise that my fist can knock you spinning?
+
+SOS. Why? What fury has seized you now?
+
+MERC. Tell me, who made you so rash as to take the name of Sosie?
+
+SOS. I do not take it; I have always borne it.
+
+MERC. O what a monstrous lie! What confounded impudence! You dare to
+maintain that Sosie is your name?
+
+SOS. Certainly; I maintain it, for the good reason that the Gods
+have so ordered it by their supreme power. It is not in my power to
+say no, and to be any one else than myself.
+
+(Mercury beats him.) MERC. A thousand stripes ought to be the reward
+of such audacity.
+
+SOS. Justice, citizens! Help! I beseech you.
+
+MERC. So, you gallows-bird, you yell out?
+
+SOS. You beat me down with a thousand blows, and yet do not wish me to cry out?
+
+MERC. It is thus that my arm . . .
+
+SOS. The action is unworthy. You gloat over the advantage which my
+want of courage gives you over me; that is not fair treatment. It is
+mere bullying to wish to profit by the poltroonery of those whom one
+makes to feel the weight of one's arm. To thrash a man who does not
+retaliate is not the act of a generous soul; and to show courage
+against men who have none merits condemnation.
+
+MERC. Well! Are you still Sosie? What say you?
+
+SOS. Your blows have not made any metamorphosis in me; all the
+change there is is that in the matter I am Sosie thrashed.
+
+MERC. Still? A hundred fresh blows for this fresh impudence.
+
+SOS. Have mercy, a truce to your blows.
+
+MERC. Then a truce to your insolence.
+
+SOS. Anything that pleases you; I will keep silence. The dispute
+between us is too unequal.
+
+MERC. Are you still Sosie? Say, villain!
+
+SOS. Alas! I am what you wish; dispose of my lot exactly as you
+please: your arm 'has made you the master of it.
+
+MERC. I think you said your name was Sosie?
+
+SOS. True, until now I thought the matter was clear; but your rod
+has made me see that I was mistaken in this affair.
+
+MERC. I am Sosie: all Thebes avows it. Amphitryon has never had other than me.
+
+SOS. You, Sosie?
+
+MERC. Yes, Sosie; and if any one trifles with me, he must take care of himself.
+
+SOS. Heavens! Must I thus renounce myself, and see my name stolen by
+an impostor. How lucky I am a poltroon! Or, by the death . . .!
+
+MERC. What are you mumbling between your teeth?
+
+SOS. Nothing. But, in the name of the Gods, give me leave to speak
+one moment with you.
+
+MERC. Speak.
+
+SOS. But promise me, I beseech you, that there shall not be any more
+strokes. Let us sign a truce.
+
+MERC. Let that pass; go on, I grant you this point.
+
+SOS. Tell me, who put this fancy into your head? What benefit will
+it be to you to take my name? In short, were you a demon, could you
+hinder me from being myself, from being Sosie?
+
+MERC. What is this, you dare . . .
+
+SOS. Ah! Gently: there is a truce to blows.
+
+MERC. What! Gallows-bird, impostor, scoundrel ...
+
+SOS. As for abuse, give me as much as you please; it makes but a
+slight wound and does not bother me.
+
+MERC. You say you are Sosie?
+
+SOS. Yes. Some ridiculous tale . . .
+
+MERC. So, I shall break our truce, and take back my word.
+
+SOS. I can't help it. I cannot annihilate myself for you, and endure
+so improbable a tale. Is it in your power to be what I am? Can I
+cease to be myself? Did any one ever hear of such a thing? And can
+you give the lie to a hundred clear indications? Do I dream? Do I
+sleep? Is my mind troubled by powerful transports? Do I not feel I
+am awake? Am I not in my right senses? Has not my master,
+Amphitryon, commanded me to come here to Alcmene his wife? Am I not,
+in commending his passion to her, to give her an account of his
+deeds against our enemies? Have I not just come from the harbour? Do
+I not hold a lantern in my hand? Have I not found you in front of
+our house? Did I not speak to you in a perfectly friendly manner? Do
+you not make use of my poltroonery to hinder me from entering our
+house? Have you not vented your rage upon my back? Have you not
+showered blows on me? Ah! All this is but too true: would to Heaven
+it were less real! Cease therefore to jeer at a wretch's lot, and
+leave me to acquit myself where my duty calls me.
+
+MERC. Stop, or the shortest step brings down upon your back
+clattering evidence of my just anger. All you have just said is
+mine, except the blows. It is I, whom Amphitryon sent to Alcmene;
+who has just arrived from the Persian port; I, who have come to
+announce the valour of his arm, which has gained us a glorious
+victory, and slain the chief of our enemies. In short, I am
+undoubtedly Sosie, son of Dave, an honest shepherd; brother of
+Arpage, who died in a foreign land; husband of Cleanthis the prude,
+whose temper drives me wild; I, who received a thousand cuts from a
+whip at Thebes, without ever saying anything about it; and who was
+once publicly branded on the back for being too worthy a man.
+
+SOS. He is right. If he were not Sosie, he could not know all he
+says; all this is so astounding that even I begin to believe him a
+little. In fact, now I look at him, I see he has my figure, looks,
+and manners. I wilt ask him some question, in order to clear up this
+mystery. What did Amphitryon obtain as his share of all the plunder
+taken from our enemies?
+
+MERC. Five fine large diamonds, beautifully set in a cluster, which
+their chief wore as a rare piece of handicraft.
+
+SOS. For whom does he intend so rich a present?
+
+MERC. For his wife; he intends her to wear it.
+
+SOS. Where have you put it, until you meet her?
+
+MERC. In a casket sealed with the arms of my master.
+
+SOS. He does not tell a single lie at any turn: I begin to doubt
+myself in earnest. He has already cowed me into believing him to be
+Sosie; and he might even reason me into thinking him so. Yet, when I
+touch myself, and recollect, it seems to me I am myself. Where can I
+find some light that will clearly make my way plain? What I have
+done alone, and what no one has seen, cannot be known to any one
+else: that, at least, belongs to me. I will astonish him by this
+question: it will confound him, and we shall see. When they were at
+close quarters, what were you doing in our tents, whither you ran to
+hide yourself away?
+
+MERC. Off a ham
+
+SOS. That is it!
+
+MERC. Which I unearthed, I soon cut two succulent slices: they
+suited me nicely. I added to them a wine which was usually kept
+dark, and, gloated over the sight of it before I tasted it. So I
+took heart for our fighters.
+
+SOS. This unparalleled proof ends matters well in his favour; and,
+unless he were in the bottle, there is nothing to be said. From the
+proofs you show me, I cannot deny that you are Sosie: I admit it.
+But, if you are he, tell me whom you wish me to be; for I must be someone.
+
+MERC. When I shall no longer be Sosie, you may be he, I consent to
+that; but I promise you it shall be the death of you if you take up
+such a fancy while I am he.
+
+SOS. All this confusion turns me inside out, for reason is against
+what I see.  But I must end this by some means; and the shortest way
+for me is to go in there.
+
+MERC. Oh! You gallows-bird, you want to taste the stick.
+
+SOS. What is the matter? Great Gods! He makes the blows ring again;
+my back will ache for a month. I will leave this devil of a fellow,
+and return to the harbour. O just Heavens, what a fine ambassador I have been!
+
+MERC. At last, I have made him fly; this treatment has paid him out
+for many of his deeds. But here is Jupiter, gallantly escorting his
+lover Alcmene.
+
+SCENE III
+
+JUPITER, ALCMENE, CLEANTHIS, MERCURY
+
+JUP. My dear Alcmene, forbid the torch-bearers to come near. They
+give me delight in enabling me to see you; but they might betray my
+being here, and this were best unrevealed. Restrained by all the
+heavy cares with which the glory of our arms held me bound, my heart
+has stolen from the duties of my post the moments it has just given
+to your charms. This theft, which I have consecrated to your beauty,
+might be blamed by the public voice; and the only witness I want, is
+she who can thank me for it.
+
+ALC. I take great interest, Amphitryon, in the glory which your
+illustrious exploits have cast upon you; the fame of your victory
+moves my heart to its depths. But when I see that this disastrous
+honour keeps my lover away from me, such is my heart's feeling that
+I cannot forbear to think ill of it, and to regret the high order
+which makes you general of the Thebans. It is sweet after a victory
+to see the glory to which one's lover has been raised; but, from
+among the perils attached to this glory, a deadly blow, alas! may
+soon fall. With how many fears is one's heart wounded at the report
+of the least skirmish! In the horror of such a thought, is there
+anything that can console for the threatened stroke? And with
+whatever laurels the victor may be crowned, whatever share one may
+have in that supreme honour, is it worth what it costs a tender
+heart, which trembles every moment for its lover?
+
+JUP. I do not see anything in you but what inflames my passion;
+everything shows me a deeply enamoured heart; and, I confess, it is
+a great delight to find so much love in a beloved object. But, if I
+may dare say so, one scruple in the tender sentiments which you show
+me causes me anxiety; and, in order to enjoy you the more, dear
+Alcmene, my heart would rather see love only, and not duty, in the
+favours which I receive from you; may they arise solely from
+affection, and have respect to my person only; let not my condition
+as your husband be the reason for them.
+
+ALC. Yet it is in that name that the ardour which burns me holds the
+right to show itself: I do not understand this new scruple which
+troubles your heart.
+
+JUP. The love and tenderness which I have for you far exceeds a
+husband's; in these sweet moments, you do not realise its delicacy;
+You do not understand that a heart deeply in love studiously
+attaches itself to a hundred little trifles, and is restless over
+the manner of being happy. In me, fair and charming Alcmene, you see
+a lover and a husband; but, to speak frankly, it is the lover that
+appeals to me; when near you, I feel the husband restrains him. This
+lover, who is supremely jealous of your love, wishes your heart to
+abandon itself solely to him: his passion does not wish anything the
+husband gives him. He wishes to obtain the warmth of your love from
+the fountain-head, and not to owe anything to the bonds of wedlock,
+or to a duty which palls and makes the heart sad, for by these the
+sweetness of the most cherished favours is daily poisoned. This
+idea, in short, tosses him to and fro, and he wishes, in order to
+satisfy his scruples, that you would differentiate where the
+occasion offends him, the husband to be only for your virtue, and
+the lover to have the whole affection and tenderness of a heart
+known to be full of kindness.
+
+ALC. In truth, Amphitryon, you must be jesting, to talk thus; I
+should be afraid anyone who heard you would think you were not sane.
+
+JUP. There is more reason in this discourse, Alcmene, than you
+think. But a longer stay here would render me guilty, and time
+presses for my return to port. Adieu. The stern call of duty tears
+me away from you for a time; but, lovely Alcmene, I beseech you at
+least to think of the lover when you see the husband.
+
+ALC. I do not separate what the Gods unite: both husband and lover
+are very precious to me.
+
+CLE. O Heaven! How delightful are the caresses of an ardently
+cherished husband! How far my poor husband is from all this tenderness!
+
+MERC. I must tell Night she has but to furl all her sails; the Sun
+may now arise from his bed and put out the stars.
+
+SCENE IV
+
+CLEANTHIS, MERCURY (Mercury turns to go away)
+
+CLE. So? Is it thus you quit me?
+
+MERC. What would you have? Do you wish me not to do my duty, and
+follow in Amphitryon's footsteps?
+
+CLE. To separate from me so rudely as this, you villain!
+
+MERC. It is a fine subject to make a fuss about! We have still
+plenty of time to live together!
+
+CLE. But to go in such a churlish manner, without saying a single
+kind word to cheer me!
+
+MERC. Where the deuce shall I dig up silly compliments? Fifteen
+years of married life exhaust nonsense; we said all we had to say to
+each other a long time ago.
+
+CLE. Look at Amphitryon, you rascal; see how his ardour burns for
+Alcmene; and then blush for the little passion that you show your wife.
+
+MERC. But, gracious me! Cleanthis, they are still lovers. There
+comes a certain age when all this passes away; what suits them well
+in these early days would look ridiculous in us, old married people.
+It would be it fine sight to see us embracing each other, and saying
+sweet nothings!
+
+CLE. Oh! You perfidious wretch, must I give up hope that a heart sighs for me?
+
+MERC. No, I should be sorry to say that; but I have too long a beard
+to dare to sigh; I should make you die of laughter.
+
+CLE. You brute, do you deserve the good fortune of having a virtuous
+woman for your wife?
+
+MERC. Good Heavens! You are but too virtuous; this fine virtue is
+not worth anything to me. Do not be quite so honest a woman, and
+don't bother me so much.
+
+CLE. What? Do you blame me for being too honest?
+
+MERC. A woman's gentleness is what charms me most: your virtue makes
+a clatter that never ceases to deafen me.
+
+CLE. You care for hearts full of false tenderness, for those women
+with the laudable and fine talent of knowing how to smother their
+husbands with caresses in order to make them oblivious of the
+existence of lovers.
+
+MERC. Well! Shall I tell you what I think? An imaginary evil
+concerns fools only; my device should be: 'Less honour and more peace.'
+
+CLE. Would you, without any repugnance, suffer me openly to love a gallant?
+
+MERC. Yes, if I were no longer worried by your tongue, and if it
+changed your temper and your goings-on. I prefer a convenient vice,
+to a fatiguing virtue. Adieu, Cleanthis, my dear soul; I must follow
+Amphitryon. (He goes away.)
+
+CLE Why has not my heart sufficient resolution to punish this
+infamous scoundrel? Ah, how it maddens me, now, that I am an honest woman!
+
+END OF THE FIRST ACT
+
+ACT Il
+
+SCENE I
+
+AMPHITRYON, SOSIE
+
+AMPH. Come here, you rascal, come here. Do you know, Master Villain,
+that your talk is sufficient to cause me to knock you down, and that
+my wrath waits only for a stick to thrash you as I intend?
+
+SOS. If you take it in that way, Monsieur, I have nothing more to
+say; you will be always in the right.
+
+AMPH. So? You scoundrel, you wish to impose upon me as truths tales
+which I know to be extravagantly far-fetched?
+
+SOS. No; I am the servant, and you are the master; it shall not be
+otherwise than you wish it, Monsieur.
+
+AMPH. Come, I will choke down the anger that inflames me, and hear
+all you have to say about your mission. I must unravel this
+confusion before I see my wife. Collect your senses, think well over
+what you say, and answer each question word for word.
+
+SOS. But, lest I make a mistake, tell me, I beseech you, beforehand,
+in what way it would please you to have this affair healed. Shall I
+speak, Monsieur, according to my conscience, or as usual when near
+the great? Shall I tell the truth or use a certain complaisance?
+
+AMPH. No; I only wish you to give me a perfectly unvarnished account.
+
+SOS. Good. That is enough; leave it to me; you have, but to interrogate me.
+
+AMPH. Upon the order which I lately gave you . . .
+
+SOS. I set forth under skies veiled in black crape, swearing
+bitterly against you for this wretched martyrdom, and cursing twenty
+times the order of which you speak.
+
+AMPH. What do you mean, you villain?
+
+SOS. You have only to speak, Monsieur, and I shall lie, if you desire it.
+
+AMPH. That is how a valet shows his zeal for us. Never mind. What
+happened to you on the way?
+
+SOS. I had a mortal fright at the least thing I met.
+
+AMPH. Poltroon!
+
+SOS. Nature has her caprices in forming us; she gives us differing
+inclinations; some find a thousand delights in exposing themselves;
+I find them in taking care of myself.
+
+AMPH. When you arrived at the house...?
+
+SOS. When I reached the door, I wished to rehearse to myself for a
+short time, in what tone and in what manner I should give a glorious
+account of the battle.
+
+AMPH. What followed?
+
+SOS. Some one came to annoy and trouble me.
+
+AMPH. Who was he?
+
+SOS. Sosie; another I, jealous of your orders, whom you sent to
+Alcmene from the port, and who has as full knowledge of our secrets
+as I who am speaking to you.
+
+AMPH. What nonsense!
+
+SOS. No, Monsieur, it is the simple truth: this I was at your house
+sooner than I; and, I swear to you, I was there before I had arrived.
+
+AMPH. Pray, where does all this cursed nonsense come from? Is it a
+dream? Is it drunkenness? Mind-wandering? Or a sorry joke?
+
+SOS. No, it is the thing as it is, and by no means an idle tale. I
+am a man of honour, I give you my word, and you must please believe
+it. I tell you, believing I was but one Sosie, I found myself two at
+your house; and of these two I's, piqued with jealousy, one is at
+the house, and the other is with you; the I who is here, tired out,
+found the other I fresh, jolly and active, having no other anxiety
+than to fight and break bones.
+
+AMPH. I confess I must be of a very placid temper, very peaceable,
+very gentle, to permit a valet to entertain me with such nonsense!
+
+SOS. If you become angry, no more conference between us: you know
+all will be over at once.
+
+AMPH. No; I will listen to you without being carried away; I
+promised it. But tell me in good earnest, is there any shadow of
+likelihood in this new mystery which you have just told me?
+
+SOS. No; you are right, the matter must appear to everyone past
+credit. It is a fact past understanding, an extravagant, ridiculous,
+far-fetched tale: it shocks common sense; but it is none the less a fact.
+
+AMPH. How can anyone believe it, unless he has taken leave of his senses?
+
+SOS. I myself did not believe it without extreme difficulty: I
+thought I was losing my senses when I saw myself two, and, for a
+long time, I treated my other self as an impostor: but he compelled
+me in the end to recognise myself; I saw it was I, without any
+trickery; from head to foot he is like me-handsome, a noble air,
+well built, charming manners; in fact, two peas do not resemble each
+other more; were it not that his hands are a little too heavy, I
+should be perfectly satisfied.
+
+AMPH. I had need exhort myself to patience! But did you not in the
+end go into the house?
+
+SOS. Good, go in! Ah! In what fashion? Have I never wished to listen
+to reason? Did I not forbid myself to enter our door?
+
+AMPH. In what way?
+
+SOS. With a stick, my back still aches from it.
+
+AMPH. You have been thrashed?
+
+SOS. Truly.
+
+AMPH. And by whom?
+
+SOS. Myself.
+
+AMPH. You have thrashed yourself?
+
+SOS. Yes, I; not the I who is here, but the I from the house, who
+whacks soundly.
+
+AMPH. Heaven confound you for talking to me like this!
+
+SOS. I am not joking; the I whom I have just met has great
+advantages over the I who speaks to you. He has a strong arm and
+great courage; I have had proofs of both; this devil of an I has
+licked me soundly; he is a fellow who can do wonders.
+
+AMPH. Let us, cease this. Have you seen my wife?
+
+SOS. No.
+
+AMPH. Why not?
+
+SOS. For a sufficiently strong reason.
+
+AMPH. Who hindered you, scoundrel? Explain yourself.
+
+SOS. Must I repeat the same thing twenty times? I, I tell you, this
+I who is more robust than I, this I who took possession of the door
+by force, this I who made me slope off, this I who wishes to be the
+only I, this I who is jealous of myself, this valiant I, whose anger
+made itself known to this poltroon of an I, in fact, this I who is
+at our house, this I who has shown himself to be my master, this I
+who has racked me with pain.
+
+AMPH. His brain must be addled by having had too much to drink this morning.
+
+SOS. May I be hanged if I have had anything to drink but water: I
+take my oath on it.
+
+AMPH. Then your senses must have been fast asleep: some silly dream
+has shown you all these fairy tales and confused mysteries which you
+wish me to take for truths.
+
+SOS. That is just as far away from the truth. I have not slept, and
+I do not even feel inclined that way. I am speaking to you wide-
+awake; I was wide awake this morning, upon my life! And the other
+Sosie was also wide-awake, when he drubbed me so well.
+
+AMPH. Follow me; I order you to be silent. You tire my brain too
+much; I must be an out-and-out fool to have the patience to listen
+to the nonsense a valet has to say.
+
+SOS. All talk is nonsense that comes from a man who is unknown. If a
+great man were to say it, it would be exquisite language.
+
+AMPH. Let us go in without waiting any longer. But here comes
+Alcmene clothed in all her charms. Doubtless she does not expect me
+so soon, and my arrival will surprise her.
+
+SCENE II
+
+ALCMENE, CLEANTHIS, AMPHITRYON, SOSIE
+
+ALC. Come, Cleanthis, let us attend the Gods, pay them our homage
+for my husband's sake, and thank them for the glorious success, of
+which Thebes, by his arm, reaps the advantage. O ye Gods!
+
+AMPH. Heaven grant that victorious Amphitryon may be met with
+renewed pleasure by his wife: that this day may be favourable to my
+passion, and restore you to me with the same heart: may I again find
+as much love as my heart brings to you!
+
+ALC. Ah! Have you returned so soon.
+
+AMPH. Really, you give me but a sorry proof of your love; this, 'Ah!
+have you returned so soon?' is scarcely the language a heart really
+inflamed with love would use on such an occasion as this. I dared to
+flatter myself I had remained away from you too long. The
+expectation of an ardently longed for return makes each moment seem
+of great length; the absence of what we love, however brief it may
+be, is always too long.
+
+ALC. I do not see . . .
+
+AMPH. No, Alcmene, time is measured in such cases by one's
+impatience; you count the moments of absence as one who does not
+love. When we really love, the slightest separation kills us; the
+one whom we love to see never returns too soon. I confess that the
+love I bear you has cause to complain of your reception; I expected
+different expressions of joy and tenderness from your heart.
+
+ALC. I cannot understand on what you found the words you have just
+uttered; if you complain of me, upon my word I do not know what
+would satisfy you. I think I showed a sufficiently tender joy last
+night, at your happy return; my heart responded by every means you
+could wish to the claims of your affection.
+
+AMPH. In what way?
+
+ALC. Did I not clearly show the sudden transports of a perfect joy?
+Could a heart's feelings be better expressed at the return of a
+husband who is tenderly loved?
+
+AMPH. What do you say?
+
+ALC. That even your affection showed an inconceivable joy at my
+reception; and that, as you left me at break of day, I do not see
+that my surprise at this sudden return is so guilty.
+
+AMPH. Did you, in a dream last night, Alcmene, anticipate in idea
+the reality of my hastened return; and having, perhaps, treated me
+kindly in your sleep, does your heart think it has fully acquitted
+itself of its duty to my passion?
+
+ALC. Has some malignant vapour in your mind, Amphitryon, clouded the
+truth of last night's return? Does your heart pretend to take away
+from me the credit of all the gentle affection I showed you in my
+tender welcome?
+
+AMPH. This vapour you attribute to me seems to me somewhat strange.
+
+ALC. It is in return for the dream which you attribute to me.
+
+AMPH. Unless it is because of a dream, what you have just now told
+me is entirely inexcusable.
+
+ALC. Unless it is a vapour which troubles your mind, what I have
+heard from you cannot be justified.
+
+AMPH. Let us leave this vapour for a moment, Alcmene.
+
+ALC. Let us leave this dream for a moment, Amphitryon.
+
+AMPH. One cannot jest on the subject in question without being carried too far.
+
+ALC. Undoubtedly; and, as a sure proof of it, I begin to feel somewhat uneasy.
+
+AMPH. Is it thus you wish to try to make amends for the welcome of
+which I complain?
+
+ALC. Do you desire to try to amuse yourself by this feint?
+
+AMPH. For Heaven's, sake, I beseech you, Alcmene! Let us cease this,
+and talk seriously.
+
+ALC. You carry your amusement too far, Amphitryon: let there be an
+end to this raillery.
+
+AMPH. Do you really dare maintain to my face that I was seen here
+before this hour?
+
+ALC. Have you really the assurance to deny that you came here early
+yesterday evening?
+
+AMPH. I! I came yesterday?
+
+ALC. Certainly; and you went away again before dawn.
+
+AMPH. Heavens! Was ever such a debate as this heard before? Who
+would not be astonished at all this? Sosie?
+
+SOS. She needs six grains of hellebore, Monsieur; her brain is turned.
+
+AMPH. Alcmene, in the name of all the Gods, this discourse will have
+a strange ending! Recollect your senses a little better, and think
+what you say.
+
+ALC. I am indeed thinking seriously; all in the house saw your
+arrival. I am ignorant what motive makes you act thus; but, if the
+thing were in need of proof, if it were true that such a thing could
+be forgotten, from whom, but from you, could I have heard the news
+of the latest of all your battles, and of the five diamonds worn by
+Pterelas, who was plunged into eternal night by the strength of your
+arm? Could one wish for surer testimony?
+
+AMPH. What? I have already given you the cluster of diamonds which I
+had for my share, and intended for you?
+
+ALC. Assuredly. It is not difficult to convince you thoroughly on that point.
+
+AMPH. How?
+
+ALC. Here it is.
+
+AMPH. Sosie!
+
+SOS. She is jesting: I have it here; Monsieur, the feint is useless.
+
+AMPH. The seal is whole.
+
+ALC. Is it a vision? There. Will you think this proof strong enough?
+
+AMPH. Ah Heaven! O just Heaven!
+
+ALC. Come, Amphitryon, you are joking in acting thus: you ought to
+be ashamed of it.
+
+AMPH. Break this seal, quickly.
+
+SOS. (Having opened the casket.) Upon my word, the casket is empty.
+It must have been taken out by witchcraft, or else it came by itself
+a guide, to her whom it knew it was intended to adorn.
+
+AMPH. O Gods, whose power governs all things, what is this
+adventure? What can I augur from it that does not clutch at my heart?
+
+SOS. If she speaks the truth, we have the same lot, and, like me,
+Monsieur, you are double.
+
+AMPH. Be silent.
+
+ALC. Why are you so surprised? What causes all this confusion?
+
+AMPH. O Heaven! What strange perplexity! I see incidents which
+surpass Nature, and my honour fears an adventure which my mind does
+not understand.
+
+ALC. Do you still wish to deny your hasty return, when you have this
+sensible proof of it?
+
+AMPH. No; but if it be possible, deign to tell me what passed at this return.
+
+ALC. Since you ask an account of the matter, you still say it was not you?
+
+AMPH. Pardon me; but I have a certain reason which makes me ask you
+to give us this account.
+
+ALC. Have the important cares which perhaps engross you made you so
+quickly lose the remembrance of it?
+
+AMPH. Perhaps; but, in short, you would please me by telling me the
+whole story.
+
+ALC. The story is not long. I advanced towards you full of a
+delighted surprise; I embraced you tenderly, and showed my joy more
+than once.
+
+AMPH. (to himself.) Ah! I could have done without so sweet a welcome.
+
+ALC. You first made me this valuable gift, which you destined for me
+from the spoils of the conquered. Your heart vehemently unfolded to
+me all the violence of its love, and the annoying duties which had
+kept it enchained, the happiness of seeing me again, the torments of
+absence, all the care which your impatience to return had given you;
+never has your love, on similar occasions, seemed to me so tender
+and so passionate.
+
+AMPH. (to himself.) Can one be more cruelly tortured?
+
+ALC. As you may well believe, these transports and this tenderness
+did not displease me; if I must confess it, Amphitryon, my heart
+found a thousand charms in them.
+
+AMPH. What followed, pray?
+
+ALC. We interrupted each other with a thousand questions concerning
+each other. The table was laid. We supped together by ourselves;
+and, supper over, we went to bed.
+
+AMPH. Together?
+
+ALC. Assuredly. What a question?
+
+AMPH. Ah; this is the most cruel stroke of all; my jealous passion
+trembled to assure itself of this.
+
+ALC. Why do you blush so deeply at a word? Have I done something
+wrong in going to bed with you?
+
+AMPH. No, to my great misery, it was not I; whoever says I was here
+yesterday, tells, of all falsehoods, the most horrible.
+
+ALC. Amphitryon!
+
+AMPH. Perfidious woman!
+
+ALC. Ah! What madness is this!
+
+AMPH. No, no; no more sweetness, no more respect; this rebuff puts
+an end to all my constancy; at this ghastly moment, my heart
+breathes only fury and, vengeance.
+
+ALC. On whom then would you be avenged? What want of faith in me
+makes you treat me now as a criminal?
+
+AMPH. I do not know, but it was not I; this despair makes me capable
+of anything.
+
+ALC. Away unworthy husband, the deed speaks for itself, the
+imposture is frightful. It is too great an insult to accuse me of
+infidelity. If these confused transports mean that you seek a
+pretext to break the nuptial bonds which hold me enchained to you,
+all these pretences are superfluous, for I am determined that this
+day all our ties shall be broken.
+
+AMPH. After the unworthy affront, which I now learn has been done
+me, that is indeed what you must prepare yourself for; it is the
+least that can be expected; and things may not perhaps remain there.
+The dishonour is sure; my misery is made plain to me; and my pride
+in vain would hide it from me. The details are still not clear: My
+anger is just and I claim to be enlightened. Your brother can
+positively avouch that I did not leave him until this morning: I
+will go and seek him, in order that I may confound you about the
+return falsely imputed to me. Afterwards, we will penetrate to the
+bottom of a mystery unheard of until now; and, in the fury of a
+righteous anger, woe to him who has betrayed me!
+
+SOS. Monsieur . . .
+
+AMPH. Do not accompany me, but remain here for me.
+
+CLE. Must I . . .?
+
+ALC. I cannot hear anything: leave me alone: do not follow me.
+
+SCENE III
+
+CLEANTHIS, SOSIE
+
+CLE. Something must have turned his brain; but the brother will soon
+finish this quarrel.
+
+SOS. This is a very sharp blow for my master; his fate is cruel. I
+greatly fear something coming for myself. I will go softly in enlightening her.
+
+CLE. Let me see whether he will so much as speak to me! I will not
+reveal anything.
+
+SOS. These things are often annoying when one knows about them: I
+hesitate to ask her. Would it not be better not to risk anything,
+and to ignore what may have happened? Yet, at all hazard, I must
+see. I cannot help myself. Curiosity concerning things which one
+would rather not know is a human weakness. Heaven preserve you, Cleanthis!
+
+CLE. Ah! Ah! You dare to come near me, you villain!
+
+SOS. Good Heavens! What is the matter with you? You are always in a
+temper, and become angry about nothing!
+
+CLE. What do you call about nothing? Speak out.
+
+SOS. I call about nothing what is called about nothing in verse as
+well as in prose; and nothing, as you well know, means to say
+nothing, or very little.
+
+CLE. I do not know what keeps me from scratching your eyes out,
+infamous rascal, to teach you how far the anger of a woman can go.
+
+SOS. Hullo! What do you mean by this furious rage?
+
+CLE. Then you call that nothing, perhaps, which you have done to me?
+
+SOS. What was that?
+
+CLE. So? You feign to be innocent? Do you follow the example of your
+master and say you did not return here?
+
+SOS. No, I know the contrary too well; but I will be frank with you.
+We had drunk some wretched wine, which might have made me forget what I did.
+
+CLE. You think, perhaps, to excuse yourself by this trick, . . .
+
+SOS. No, in truth you may believe me. I was in such a condition that
+I may have done things I should regret; I do not remember what they were.
+
+CLE. You do not even remember the manner in which you thought fit to
+treat me when you came from the port?
+
+SOS. Not at all. You had better tell me all about it; I am just and
+sincere, and would condemn myself were I wrong.
+
+CLE.Well? Amphitryon having warned me of your return, I sat up until
+you came; but I never saw such coldness: I had myself to remind you
+that you had a wife; and, when I wanted to kiss you, you, turned
+away your head, and gave me your ear.
+
+SOS. Good.
+
+CLE. What do you mean by good?
+
+SOS. Good gracious! You do not know why I talk like this, Cleanthis:
+I had been eating garlic, and, like a well-bred man, just turned my
+breath away from you.
+
+CLE. I showed you every possible tenderness; but you were as deaf as
+a post to everything I said; never a kind word passed your lips.
+
+SOS. Courage!
+
+CLE. In short, my flame bad to burn alone, its chaste ardour did not
+find anything in you but ice; you were the culprit in a return that
+might have been so different: you even went so far as to refuse to
+take your place in bed, which the laws of wedlock oblige you to occupy.
+
+SOS. What? Did I not go to bed?
+
+CLE. No, you coward.
+
+SOS. Is it possible?
+
+CLE. It is but too true, you rascal. Of all affronts this affront is
+the greatest; and, instead of your heart repairing its wrong this
+morning, you left me with words full of undisguised contempt.
+
+SOS. Vivat Sosie!
+
+CLE. Eh, what? Has my complaint had this effect? You laugh at your
+fine goings on?
+
+SOS. How pleased I am with myself!
+
+CLE. Is this the way to express your grief at such an outrage?
+
+SOS. I should never have believed I could be so prudent.
+
+CLE. Instead of condemning yourself for such a perfidious trick, you
+rejoice at it to my face!
+
+SOS. Good gracious! Gently, gently! If I appear pleased, you must
+believe that I have a very strong private reason for it; without
+thinking of it, I never did better than in using you in such a manner as I did.
+
+CLE. Are you laughing at me, you villain?
+
+SOS. No, I am speaking openly to you. I was in a wretched state. I
+had a certain load, which your words have lifted from my soul. I was
+very apprehensive, and feared that I had played the fool with you.
+
+CLE. What is this fear? Come, let us know what you mean.
+
+SOS. The doctors say that, when one is drunk, one should abstain
+from one's wife, for, in that condition we can only have children
+who are dull, and who cannot live. Think, if my heart had not armed
+itself with coldness, what troubles might have followed!
+
+CLE. I do not care a fig for doctors, with their insipid reasonings.
+Let them rule those who are sick without wishing to govern healthy
+people. They meddle with too many affairs when they seek to rein in
+our chaste desires; in addition to the dog days, and their strict
+rules, they tell us a hundred ridiculous stories into the bargain.
+
+SOS. Gently.
+
+CLE. No; I maintain theirs is a worthless conclusion: those reasons
+come from idiotic brains. Neither wine nor time ought to prevent the
+duties of conjugal love from being fulfilled; doctors are donkeys.
+
+SOS. I entreat you, moderate your anger against them; they are
+honest people, whatever the world may say of them.
+
+CLE. Things are not what you think them; you can shut up; your
+excuse will not go down; and, sooner or later, I tell you plainly, I
+will avenge myself for the contempt you show me every day. I
+remember everything you said just now, and I shall try to make use
+of the liberty you gave me, You faithless, cowardly husband.
+
+SOS. What?
+
+CLE. You told me just now, you villain, that you would heartily
+agree to my loving another.
+
+SOS. Ah! In that matter I was wrong. I retract; my honour is at
+stake. You had better beware you do not give way to that sentiment.
+
+CLE. Nevertheless if some time I can make up my mind to the thing . . .
+
+SOS. Just stop talking for the present. Amphitryon is coming back,
+and he seems pleased.
+
+SCENE IV
+
+JUPITER, CLEANTHIS, SOSIE
+
+JUP. I shall take this opportunity of appearing to Alcmene to banish
+the sorrow in which she wishes to indulge, and, under the pretence
+that brings me here, I will gratify my passion with the delight of a
+reconciliation with her. Alcmene is upstairs, is she not?
+
+CLE. Yes; she is thoroughly upset and wishes to be left alone: she
+has forbidden me to follow her.
+
+JUP. Whatever prohibition she may have given you does not concern me.
+
+CLE. So far as I can see, his grief has beaten a quick retreat.
+
+SCENE V
+
+CLEANTHIS, SOSIE
+
+SOS. What do you say, Cleanthis, to these cheerful looks, after his
+terrible rage?
+
+CLE. That we should all do well to send all men to the devil; the
+best of them is not worth much.
+
+SOS. You say that because you are in a passion; but you are too fond
+of men; upon my word, you would all look as black as thunder if the
+devil were to take them all away.
+
+CLE. Really . . .
+
+SOS. Here they come. Hush.
+
+SCENE VI
+
+JUPITER, ALCMENE, CLEANTHIS, SOSIE
+
+JUP. Do you want to drive me to despair? Alas! Stay, lovely Alcmene.
+
+ALC. No, I cannot remain longer with the author of my grief.
+
+JUP. I beseech you
+
+ALC. Leave me.
+
+JUP. What . . .?
+
+ALC. Leave me, I tell you.
+
+JUP. Her tears touch me to the heart; her sorrow troubles me. Allow me to
+
+ALC. No, do not follow me,
+
+JUP. Where are you going?
+
+ALC. Where you are not.
+
+JUP. That would be a vain attempt to make. I am linked to your
+beauty by too close a bond to suffer a moment's separation from you.
+I shall follow you everywhere, Alcmene.
+
+ALC. And I shall flee from you everywhere.
+
+JUP. I am very terrible, then!
+
+ALC. Yes, more than I can say. Indeed, I look upon you as a
+frightful monster, a cruel, furious monster, whose approach is to be
+feared; as a monster to be avoided everywhere. My heart suffers
+incredible grief at the sight of you; it is a torture that
+overpowers me; I do not know anything under Heaven so frightful,
+horrible and odious, that I could not better endure than you.
+
+JUP. Alas! Do these words really come from your mouth?
+
+ALC. I have many more in my heart; I only regret I cannot find words
+to express all I feel.
+
+JUP. Ah! What has my heart done to you, Alcmene, that I should be
+looked upon as such a monster?
+
+ALC. Oh! Just Heaven! He can ask that? Is it not enough to drive me mad?
+
+JUP. Yet, in a milder spirit . . .
+
+ALC. No; I do not wish either to see or to hear anything of you.
+
+JUP. Have you really the heart to treat me thus? Is this the tender
+love which I heard yesterday was to last so long?
+
+ALC. No, no, it is not; your base insults have ordained it
+otherwise. That passionate and tender love does not exist any
+longer; you have cruelly killed it in my heart by a hundred keen
+wounds. In its place stands an inflexible wrath, a lively
+resentment, an invincible indignation, the despair of a heart justly
+incensed, which resolves to hate you for this grievous injury, as
+much as it was willing to love you; that is to say to hate as much as possible.
+
+JUP. Alas! Your love must have had but little strength, if it can be
+killed by so slight a matter! Can a jest divorce us? Is there any
+need to be so roused at a trifle?
+
+ALC. Ah! It is just that which offends me: that which my anger
+cannot pardon. I should have felt less wounded by the justifiable
+transports of a fit of jealousy. Jealousy makes impressions the
+force of which oftentimes carries us beyond our control; at such
+times the most discreet mind, no doubt, finds it difficult enough to
+answer for its deeds. The violence of a heart which may have been
+deluded has, in its very delusion, a peace-offering for an aggrieved
+soul, and the love that gave birth to its fears, furnishes, in spite
+of all its violence, at least some reasons to urge as excuse.
+Outbursts such as these ever have love as an excuse against anger:
+for love gave birth to them, and we can easily pardon what we cannot control.
+
+But to fly into uncontrollable fury, in gaiety of heart, and so
+causelessly and keenly to wound the tenderness and honour of a heart
+that dearly loves you, ah! It is too cruel a blow: my grief can
+never forget it.
+
+JUP. Yes, you are right, Alcmene; I admit it. This action is
+unquestionably an odious crime; I do not pretend to justify it
+longer: yet allow my heart to defend itself in your eyes, and let it
+reveal to you who is to blame for this insulting fury. To tell you
+frankly, it is the husband Alcmene, who has done this wrong; it is
+the husband whom you must blame. The lover has no share in this
+churlish anger: his heart is not capable of offending you. He has
+too much respect and affection for you ever to think of it; had he
+been guilty of the crime of doing aught that could wound you, he
+would pierce himself with a hundred stabs before your eyes. But the
+husband has cast aside that humble submission which should always be
+yours; by his harsh deeds, the husband has made himself known; he
+thought the rights of marriage allowed him everything. Yes, it is he
+no doubt who is guilty towards you; he only has ill-treated your
+lovely person. Hate, detest the husband; I consent to it; I yield
+him to your mercy; but, Alcmene, spare the lover from the anger
+which such an offence gives you; do not let him suffer;
+differentiate between him and the guilty one; and, finally, in order
+to be just, do not punish him for what he has not done.
+
+ALC. Oh! All these subtleties are but frivolous excuses; such
+language only annoys incensed minds. In vain do you use these
+ridiculous prevarications. I do not make any distinction in him who
+offends me; everything in him becomes the object of my anger, the
+lover and the husband are alike confounded in its just violence.
+Both occupy my thoughts; both are painted in the same colours by my
+wounded heart. Both are guilty; both have offended me; and both are
+odious to me.
+
+JUP. Well! Then, since you wish it, I must charge myself with the
+offence. Yes, you are right, when you sacrifice me as a guilty
+victim to your resentment. Anger towards me sways you; it is but too
+just, and all the terrible wrath you show causes me to suffer only
+lawful torments. It is right you should shun my presence, and in
+your anger threaten to flee from me everywhere. I must be a
+detestable object to you; you are right in thinking ill of me. My
+crime in being offensive in your charming eyes surpasses every
+horror; it is a crime that offends men and Gods; in short, as
+punishment for my insolence I deserve that your hatred should vent
+its utmost upon me. I beg your forgiveness, I beg it upon my knees,
+I beg it for the sake of the most lively passion, of the tenderest
+love for you, which has ever been kindled in a human breast. If,
+charming Alcmene, your heart refuses me the pardon which I have the
+audacity to seek, then shall a well-aimed stroke put an end to my
+life, and release me from the harsh severity of a penalty which I
+can no longer bear. Yes, this state of things drives me to despair.
+Do not think, Alcmene, that, enamoured as I am of your celestial
+charms, I can live a day under your wrath. Even these moments' agony
+is barbarously prolonged and my sad heart sinks under their mortal
+blows. The cruel wounds of a thousand vultures are not comparable in
+any way to my lively grief. Alcmene, you have but to tell me I need
+not hope for pardon: and immediately this sword, by a happy thrust,
+shall pierce the heart of a miserable wretch before your eyes. This
+heart, this traitorous heart, too deserving of death, since it has
+offended an adorable being, will be happy if, in descending into the
+place of shades, my death appeases your anger, and, after this
+wretched day, it leaves in your soul no impression of hatred in
+remembering my love! This is all I ask as a sovereign favour.
+
+ALC. Ah! Cruel husband.
+
+JUP. Speak, Alcmene, speak.
+
+ALC. Must I still keep some kindness for you, who insult me by so
+many indignities?
+
+JUP. Whatever resentment an outrage causes us, can it hold out
+against the remorse of a heart deeply in love?
+
+ALC. A heart full of passion would rather expose itself to a
+thousand deaths, than offend the object beloved.
+
+JUP. The more one loves, the easier it is
+
+ALC. No, do not speak to me any longer about it; you deserve my hatred.
+
+JUP. You hate me then?
+
+ALC. I make every effort to do so, and it annoys me to feel that all
+your insults do not yet carry my vengeance so far as yield to it.
+
+JUP. But why this violence, since I offer to kill myself to satisfy
+your revenge? Pronounce the sentence and immediately I will obey.
+
+ALC. It is impossible to wish for another's death if hatred be absent.
+
+JUP. I cannot live unless you abandon the wrath that overwhelms me,
+and unless you grant me the favour of a pardon which I beg at your
+feet. Decide to do one or the other quickly: to punish, or to absolve.
+
+ALC. Alas! The only resolution I can take is but too clearly
+apparent. My heart has too plainly betrayed me, for me to wish to
+maintain this anger: is it not to say we pardon, when we say we cannot hate?
+
+JUP. Ah, charming Alcmene, overwhelmed with delight I must...
+
+ALC. Forbear: I hate myself for such weakness.
+
+JUP. Go, Sosie, make haste; a sweet joy fills my soul. See what
+officers of the army you can find, and ask them to dine with me.
+(Softly aside.) Mercury can fill his post, while he is away from here.
+
+SCENE VII
+
+CLEANTHIS, SOSIE
+
+SOS. Come! Now, you see, this couple, Cleanthis. Will you follow
+their example, and let us also make peace? Indulge in some slight
+reconciliation?
+
+CLE. For the sake of your lovely mug, Oh yes! I will, and no mistake.
+
+SOS. What? You will not?
+
+CLE. No.
+
+SOS. It doesn't matter to me. So much the worse for you.
+
+CLE. Well, well, come back.
+
+SOS. No, not, likely! I shall not do anything of the kind, I shall
+be angry. I turn now.
+
+CLE. Go away, you villain, let me alone; one gets tired now and then
+of being an honest woman.
+
+END OF THE SECOND ACT
+
+ACT III
+
+SCENE I
+
+AMPHITRYON
+
+Yes, so doubt fate hides him purposely from me; at last am I tired
+of trying to find him. I do not know anything that can be more cruel
+than my lot. In spite of all my endeavours, I cannot find him whom I
+seek; all those I do not seek I find. A thousand tiresome bores, who
+do not think they are so, drive me mad with their congratulations on
+our feats of arms, although they know little of me. In the cruel
+embarrassment and anxiety that troubles me, they all burden me with
+their attentions, and their rejoicings make my uneasiness worse. In
+vain I try to pass them by, to flee from their persecutions; their
+killing friendship stops me on all sides; whilst I reply to the
+ardour of their expressions by a nod of the head, I mutter under my
+breath a hundred curses on them. Ah! How little we are flattered by
+praise, honour and all that a great victory brings, when inwardly we
+suffer keen sorrow! How willingly would I exchange all this glory to
+have peace of mind! At every turn my jealousy twits me with my
+disgrace; the more my mind ponders over it, the less can I unravel
+its miserable confusion. The theft of the diamonds does not astonish
+me; seals may be tampered with unperceived; but my most cruel
+torment is that she insists I gave the gift to her personally
+yesterday. Nature oftentimes produces resemblances, which some
+impostors have adopted in order to deceive; but it is inconceivable
+that, under these appearances, a man should pass himself off as a
+husband; there are a thousand differences in a relationship such as
+this which a wife could easily detect. The marvellous effects of
+Thessalian magic have at all times been renowned; but I have always
+looked upon as idle tales the famous stories everyone talks of.  It
+would be a hard fate if I, after so glorious a victory elsewhere,
+should be compelled to believe them at the cost of my own honour. I
+will question her again upon this wretched mystery, and see if it is
+not a silly fancy that has taken advantage of her disordered brain.
+O righteous Heaven, may this thought be true, and may she even have
+lost her senses, so that I may be happy!
+
+SCENE II
+
+MERCURY, AMPHITRYON
+
+MERC. Since love does not offer me any pleasure here, I will at
+least enjoy myself in another way, and enliven my dismal leisure by
+putting Amphitron out of all patience. This may not be very
+charitable in a God; but I shall not bother myself about that; my
+planet tells me I am somewhat given to malice.
+
+AMPH. How is it that the door is closed at this hour?
+
+MERC. Hullo! Gently, gently! Who knocks?
+
+AMPH. I.
+
+MERC. Who, I?
+
+AMPH. Ah! Open.
+
+MERC. What do you mean by 'open'? Who are you, pray, to make such a
+row, and speak like that?
+
+AMPH. So? You do not know me?
+
+MERC. No, nor have I the least wish to.
+
+AMPH. Is every one losing his senses today? Is the malady spreading?
+Sosie! Hullo, Sosie!
+
+MERC. Come, now! Sosie: that is my name; are you afraid I shall forget it?
+
+AMPH. Do you see me?
+
+MERC. Well enough. What can possess your arm to make such an uproar?
+What do you want down there?
+
+AMPH. I, you gallows-bird! What do I want?
+
+MERC. What do you not want then? Speak, if you want to be understood.
+
+AMPH. Listen, you villain: I will come up with a stick to make you
+understand, and give you a fine lesson. How dare you speak to me like that?
+
+MERC. Softly, softly! If you make the least attempt to create an
+uproar, I shall send you down some messengers who will annoy you.
+
+AMPH. Oh Heavens! Did anyone ever conceive such insolence? And from
+a servant, from a beggar?
+
+MERC. Come, now! What is the matter? Have you gone over everything
+correctly? Have your big eyes taken everything in? He glares, so
+savage he looks! If looks could bite, he would have torn me to shreds by now.
+
+AMPH. I tremble at what you are bringing upon yourself with all this
+impudent talk. What a frightful storm you are brewing for yourself!
+What a tempest of blows will storm down on your back!
+
+MERC. If you do not soon disappear from here, my friend, you may
+come in for some mauling.
+
+AMPH. Ah! You villain, you shall know to your confusion what it is
+for a valet to attack his master.
+
+MERC. You, my master?
+
+AMPH. Yes, rascal. Do you dare to say you do not recognise me?
+
+MERC. I do not recognise any other master than Amphitryon.
+
+AMPH. And who, besides myself, may this Amphitryon be?
+
+MERC. Amphitryon?
+
+AMPH. Certainly.
+
+MERC. Ah! What an illusion! Come, tell me in what decent tavern you
+have addled your brain?
+
+AMPH. What? Again?
+
+MERC. Was it a feast-day wine?
+
+AMPH. Heavens!
+
+MERC. Was it old or new?
+
+AMPH. What insults!
+
+MERC. New goes to one's head, if drunk without water.
+
+AMPH. Ah! I shall tear your tongue out soon.
+
+MERC. Pass on, my dear friend; believe me, no one here will listen
+to you. I respect wine. Go away, make yourself scarce, and leave
+Amphitryon to the pleasures which he is tasting.
+
+AMPH. What! Is Amphitryon in there?
+
+MERC. Rather: covered with the laurels of his fine victory, he is
+side by side with the lovely Alcmene enjoying the delights of a
+charming tete-a-tete. They are tasting the pleasures of being
+reconciled, now their love-tiff has blown over. Take care how you
+disturb their sweet privacy, unless you wish him to punish you for
+your excessive rashness.
+
+SCENE III
+
+AMPHITRYON
+
+Ah! What a frightful blow he has given me! How cruelly has he put me
+to confusion! If matters are as this villain says, to what a state
+are my honour and my affection reduced? What course can I adopt? Am
+I to noise it abroad or keep it secret? Ought I, in my anger, to
+keep the dishonour of my house to myself or make it public? Come!
+Must one even think what to do in so gross an affront? I have no
+standing, nothing to hope for; all my anxiety now shall be how to
+avenge myself.
+
+SCENE IV
+
+SOSIE, NAUCRATES, POLIDAS, AMPHITRYON
+
+SOS. All I have been able to do, Monsieur, with all my diligence, is
+to have brought these gentlemen here.
+
+AMPH. Ah! You are here?
+
+SOS. Monsieur.
+
+AMPH. Insolent, bold rascal!
+
+SOS. What?
+
+AMPH. I shall teach you to treat me thus.
+
+SOS. What is it? What is the matter with you?
+
+AMPH. What is the matter with me, villain?
+
+SOS. Hullo, gentlemen, come here quickly.
+
+NAU. Ah! Stay, I beseech you.
+
+SOS. Of what am I guilty?
+
+AMPH. You ask me that, you scoundrel? Let me satisfy my righteous anger.
+
+SOS. When they hang any one, they tell him why they do it.
+
+NAU. At least condescend to tell us what his crime may be.
+
+SOS. I beseech you, gentlemen, keep a tight hold of me.
+
+AMPH. Yes! He has just had the audacity to shut the door in my face,
+and to add threats to a thousand impudent jeers! Ah! You villain!
+
+SOS. I am dead.
+
+NAU. Restrain this anger.
+
+SOS. Gentlemen.
+
+POL. What is it?
+
+SOS. Has he struck me?
+
+AMPH. No, he must have his reward for the language he has made free
+to use just now.
+
+SOS. How could that be when I was elsewhere busy carrying out your
+orders? These gentlemen here can bear witness that I have just
+invited them to dine with you.
+
+NAU. That is true: he has just delivered us this message, and would
+not quit us.
+
+AMPH. Who gave you that order?
+
+SOS. You.
+
+AMPH. When?
+
+SOS. After you made your peace, when you were rejoicing at the
+delight of having appeased Alcmene's anger.
+
+AMPH. O Heaven! Every instant, every step, adds something to my
+cruel martyrdom; I am so utterly confused that I no longer know
+either what to believe or what to say.
+
+NAU. All he has just told us, of what has happened at your house,
+surpasses what is natural so much, that before doing anything and
+before flying into such a passion, you ought to clear up the whole
+of this adventure.
+
+AMPH. Come; you can second my efforts; Heaven has brought you here
+most opportunely. Let me see what fortune brings me today; let me
+solve this mystery, and know my fate. Alas! I burn to learn it, and
+I dread it more than death.
+
+SCENE V
+
+JUPITER, AMPHITRYON, NAUCRATES, POLIDAS, SOSIE
+
+JUP. What is this noise that compels me to come down? Who knocks as
+though he were master where I am master?
+
+AMPH. Good Gods! What do I see?
+
+NAU. Heaven! What prodigy is this? What? Here are two Amphitryons!
+
+AMPH. My soul is struck dumb. Alas! I cannot do anything more: the
+adventure is at an end; my fate is clear; what I see tells me all.
+
+NAU. The more narrowly I watch them, the more I find they resemble each other.
+
+SOS. Gentlemen, this is the true one; the other is an impostor who
+ought to be chastised.
+
+POL. Truly, this marvellous resemblance keeps my judgment in suspense.
+
+AMPH. We have been tricked too long by an execrable rogue; I must
+break the spell with this steel.
+
+NAU. Stay.
+
+AMPH. Leave me alone.
+
+NAU. Ye Gods! What would you do?
+
+AMPH. Punish the miserable treachery of an impostor.
+
+JUP. Gently, gently! There is very little need of being carried away
+by passion; when a man bursts out in such a rage as this, it makes
+one think he has bad reasons.
+
+SOS. Yes; it is an enchanter, who has a talisman that enables him to
+resemble the masters of houses.
+
+AMPH. For your share in this insulting language, I shall make you
+feel a thousand blows.
+
+SOS. My master is a man of courage: he will not allow his followers
+to be thrashed.
+
+AMPH. Let me assuage my deep anger, and wash out my affront in the
+scoundrel's blood.
+
+NAU. We shall not suffer this strange combat of Amphitryon against himself.
+
+AMPH. What? Does my honour receive this treatment from you? Do my
+friends undertake the defence of a rogue? Far from being the first
+to take up my vengeance, they themselves place obstacles in the way
+of my resentment?
+
+NAU. What do you wish us to decide, when two Amphitryons are before
+us and all the warmth of our friendship is in suspense? If we were
+now to show towards you, we fear we might make a mistake, and not
+recognise you. Truly we see in you the appearance of Amphitryon, the
+glorious support of the Thebans' well-being; but we also see the
+same appearance in him, and we cannot judge which he is. Our duty is
+not doubtful, the impostor ought to bite the dust at our hands; but
+this perfect resemblance hides him between you two; and it is too
+hazardous a stroke to undertake in the dark. Let us find out quietly
+on which side the imposture may be; then, as soon as we have
+unravelled the adventure, it will not be necessary for you to tell us our duty.
+
+JUP. Yes, you are right, this resemblance authorises you to doubt
+both of us. I am not offended to see you cannot make up your minds:
+I am more reasonable, and excuse you. The eye cannot differentiate
+between us. I see one can easily be mistaken. You do not see me give
+way to anger, nor draw my sword: that is a bad way to enlighten a
+mystery; I can find one more gentle and more certain. One of us is
+Amphitryon; and both of us may seem so in your eyes. It is for me to
+end this confusion. I intend to make myself so well known to all,
+that, at the overwhelming proofs I shall bring forward to show who I
+am, be himself shall agree concerning the blood from which I sprang,
+and he shall no longer have occasion to say anything. Before all the
+Thebans I will reveal the truth to you; the affair is,
+unquestionably, of sufficient importance to justify my seeking to
+clear it up in the sight of all. Alcmene expects this public
+testimony from me; her virtue, which is outraged by the noise of
+this mischance, demands justification, and I will see justice is
+done it. My love for her compels me to it. I shall call together an
+assembly of the noblest chiefs, for the explanation her honour
+requires. While waiting with you for these desirable witnesses, I
+pray you to condescend to honour the table to which Sosie has invited you.
+
+SOS. I was not mistaken, gentlemen, this word puts an end to all
+irresolution: the real Amphitryon is the Amphitryon who gives dinners.
+
+AMPH. O Heaven! Can my humiliation go further? Must I indeed suffer
+the martyrdom of listening to all that this impostor has just said
+to my face, my arms bound, though his words drive me mad?
+
+NAU. You are wrong to complain. Let us await the explanation which
+shall render resentment seasonable. I do not know whether he imposes
+upon us or not; but he speaks on the matter as though he were right.
+
+AMPH. Go, you weak-kneed friends, and flatter the imposture. Thebes
+has other friends who will flock round me, different from you. I
+will go and find some who, sharing the insult, will know bow to lend
+their hand in my just cause.
+
+JUP. Ah well! I await them; I shall know how to decide the
+discussion in their presence.
+
+AMPH. You rogue, you think perhaps to evade justice thus; but
+nothing shall shield you from my vengeance.
+
+JUP. I shall not now condescend to answer this insulting language;
+soon I shall be able to confound your fury with two words.
+
+AMPH. Not Heaven, not Heaven itself can protect you: I shall dog
+your footsteps even to Hell.
+
+JUP. It will not be necessary; you will soon see I shall not fly away.
+
+AMPH. Now, before he goes away with these, I will make haste to
+gather together friends who will aid my cause; they will come to my
+house and help me to pierce him with a thousand thrusts.
+
+JUP. No ceremony, I implore you; let us go quickly into the house.
+
+NAU. Really, this adventure utterly confounds the senses and the reason.
+
+SOS. A truce, gentlemen, to all your surprises; let us joyfully sit
+down to feed until the morning. I intend to feast well, so that I
+may be in good condition to relate our valiant deeds! I am itching
+to attack the dishes; I never felt so hungry.
+
+SCENE VI
+
+MERCURY, SOSIE
+
+MERC. Stop. What have you come to poke your nose in here for, you
+impudent turn-spit?
+
+SOS. Ah! Gently, gently, for mercy's sake!
+
+MERC. Ah! You have come back again! I shall tan your hide for you.
+
+SOS. Ah! Brave and generous I, compose yourself, I beseech you.
+Sosie, spare Sosie a little, and do not divert yourself by knocking
+yourself down.
+
+MERC. Who gave you liberty to call yourself by that name? Did I not
+expressly forbid you to do so, under penalty of experiencing a
+thousand cuts from the cane?
+
+SOS. It is a name we both may bear at the same time, under the same
+master. I am recognised as Sosie everywhere; I permit you to be he,
+permit me to be so, too. Let us leave it to the two Amphitryons to
+give vent to their jealousies, and, though they contend, let the two
+Sosies live in the bonds of peace.
+
+MERC. No, one is quite enough; I am determined not to allow any division.
+
+SOS. You shall have precedence over me; I will be the younger, and
+you shall be the elder.
+
+MERC. No: a brother is a nuisance, and not to my taste; I intend to
+be the only son.
+
+SOS. O barbarous and tyrannical heart! Allow me at least to be your shadow.
+
+MERC. Not at all.
+
+SOS. Let your soul humanise itself with a little pity! Allow me to
+be near you in that capacity: I shall be everywhere so submissive a
+shadow that you will be pleased with me.
+
+MERC. No quarter; the law is immutable. If you again have the
+audacity to go in there, a thousand blows shall be the fruit.
+
+SOS. Alas! Poor Sosie, to what miserable disgrace are you reduced!
+
+MERC. So? Your lips presume again to give yourself a name I forbid!
+
+SOS. No, I did not intend myself; I was speaking of an old Sosie,
+who was formerly a relative of mine, and whom, with the utmost
+barbarity, they drove out of the house at dinner hour.
+
+MERC. Take care you do not fall into that idiocy if you wish to
+remain among the number of the living.
+
+SOS. How I would thwack you if I had the courage, for your wretched
+puffed up pride, you double son of a strumpet!
+
+MERC. What do you say?
+
+SOS. Nothing.
+
+MERC. I am sure you muttered something.
+
+SOS. Ask anyone; I do not breathe.
+
+MERC. Nevertheless I am absolutely certain that something about a
+son of a strumpet struck my ear.
+
+SOS. It must have been a parrot roused by the beautiful weather.
+
+MERC. Adieu. If your back itches for a currying, here is where I live.
+
+SOS. O Heavens! What a cursed hour is the dinner hour to be turned
+out of doors! Come, let us yield to fate in our affliction. Let us
+today follow blind caprice, and join the unfortunate Sosie to the
+unfortunate Amphitryon: it is a suitable union. I see he is coming
+in good company.
+
+SCENE VII
+
+AMPHITRYON, ARGATIPHONTIDAS, POSICLES, SOSIE
+
+AMPH. Stay here, gentlemen, follow me a little way off, and do not
+all advance, I pray you, until there is need for it.
+
+POS. I quite understand this blow touches you to the heart.
+
+AMPH. Ah! My sorrow is bitter through and through: I suffer in my
+affection, as much as in my honour.
+
+POS. If this resemblance is such as is said, Alcmene, without being
+guilty . . .
+
+AMPH. Ah! In this affair, a simple error becomes a veritable crime,
+and, though no way consenting, innocence perishes in it. Such
+errors, in whatever way we look at them, affect us in the most
+sensitive parts; reason often, often pardons them, when honour and love cannot.
+
+ARGAT. I do not bother my thoughts about that; but I hate your
+gentlemen for their disgraceful delay; it is a proceeding which
+wounds me to the quick, and one which courageous people will never
+approve. When any man has need of us, we ought to throw ourselves
+headforemost into his concerns. Argatiphontidas is not one for
+compromising matters. It is not seemly for men of honour to listen
+to the arguments of a friend's adversary; one should only listen to
+vengeance at such times. The proceeding does not please me; in
+quarrels such as these we ought always to begin sending the sword
+through the body, without any nonsense. Yes, whatever happens, you
+shall see that Argatiphontidas goes straight to the point. I entreat
+you not to let the villain die by any other hand than mine.
+
+AMPH. Come on.
+
+SOS. I come, Monsieur, to undergo at your knees the just punishment
+of cursed audacity. Strike, beat, drub, overwhelm me with blows,
+kill me in your anger; you will do well, I deserve it; I shall not
+say a single word against you.
+
+AMPH. Get up. What is the matter?
+
+SOS. I have been turned away unceremoniously; thinking to eat and
+rejoice like them, I did not think that, as it turned out, I was
+waiting there to thrash myself. Yes,  the other I, valet to the
+other you, has played the very devil with me once more. The same
+cruel fate seems to pursue us both today, Monsieur. In short, they
+have un-Sosied me, as they un-Amphitryon'd you.
+
+AMPH. Follow me.
+
+SOS. Is it not better to see if anybody is coming?
+
+SCENE VIII
+
+CLEANTHIS, NAUCRATES, POLIDAS, SOSIE, AMPHITRYON,
+
+ARGATIPHONTIDAS, POSICLES
+
+CLE. O Heaven!
+
+AMPH. What frightens you like this? Why are you afraid of me?
+
+CLE. Why! You are up there and I see you here!
+
+NAU. Do not hurry; here he comes to give, before us all, the
+explanation we want. If we may believe what he has just said about
+it, it will banish away your trouble and care.
+
+SCENE IX
+
+MERCURY, CLEANTHIS, NAUCRATES, POLIDAS, SOSIE,
+AMPHITRYON, ARGATIPHONTIDAS, POSICLES
+
+MERC. Yes, you shall all see him; know beforehand that it is the
+grand master of the Gods, whom, under the cherished features of this
+resemblance, Alcmene has caused to descend here from the heavens. As
+for me, I am Mercury. Not knowing what else to do, I have given him
+a drubbing whose appearance I took. He may now console himself, for
+strokes from the wand of a God confer honour on him who has to submit to them.
+
+SOS. Upon my word, Monsieur God, I am your servant; I could have
+done without your attentions.
+
+MERC. I now give you leave to be Sosie. I am tired of wearing such
+an ugly mug; I am going to the heavens, to scrape it all off with
+ambrosia. (He flies away to the skies.)
+
+SOS. May Heaven forever keep you from the desire of wishing to come
+near me again! Your fury against me has been too bitter; never in my
+life have I seen a God who was more of a devil than you!
+
+SCENE X
+
+JUPITER, CLEANTHIS, NAUCRATES, POLIDAS, SOSIE,
+AMPHITRYON, ARGATIPHONTIDAS, POSICLES
+
+JUP. (In a cloud,) Behold, Amphitryon, who has imposed on you; under
+his own aspect you see Jupiter. By these signs you may easily know
+him; they are sufficient, I think, to restore your heart where it
+should be to bring back peace and happiness to your family. My name,
+which the whole earth continually adores, thus stifles all scandal
+that might be spread abroad. A share with Jupiter has nothing that
+in the least dishonours, for doubtless, it can be but glorious to
+find one's self the rival of the sovereign of the Gods. I do not see
+any reason why your love should murmur; it is I, God as I am, who
+ought to be jealous in this affair. Alcmene is wholly yours,
+whatever means one may employ; it must be gratifying to your passion
+to see that there is no other way of pleasing her than to appear as
+her husband. Even Jupiter, clothed in his immortal glory, could not
+by himself undermine her fidelity; what he has received from her was
+granted by her ardent heart only to you.
+
+SOS. The Seigneur Jupiter knows how to gild the pill.
+
+JUP. Cast aside, therefore, the black care that stifles your heart;
+restore perfect peace to the ardour which consumes you. In your
+house shall be born a son, who, under the name of Hercules, shall
+cause the vast universe to ring with his deeds. A glorious future
+crowned with a thousand blessings shall let every one see I am your
+support; I will make your fate the envy of the whole world. You may
+boldly flatter yourself with what these promises confer. It is a
+crime to doubt them, for the words of Jupiter are the decrees of
+fate. (He is lost in the clouds.)
+
+NAU. Truly, I am delighted at these evident marks . . .
+
+SOS. Gentlemen, will you please take my advice? Do not embark in
+these sugary congratulations; it is a bad speculation; phrases are
+embarrassing on either side, in such a compliment. The great God
+Jupiter has done us much honour, and, unquestionaby, his kindness
+towards us is unparalleled; he promises us the infallible happiness
+of a fortune crowned with a thousand blessings, and in our house
+shall be born a brave son. Nothing could be better than this. But,
+nevertheless, let us cut short our speeches, and each one retire
+quietly to his own house. In such affairs as these, it is always
+best not to say anything.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of The Project Gutenberg Etext of Amphitryon, A Play by Moliere
+
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