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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/2536-h.zip b/2536-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..62a56d3 --- /dev/null +++ b/2536-h.zip diff --git a/2536-h/2536-h.htm b/2536-h/2536-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..bde363a --- /dev/null +++ b/2536-h/2536-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,3193 @@ +<?xml version="1.0" encoding="us-ascii"?> + +<!DOCTYPE html + PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" > + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en"> + <head> + <title> + Amphitryon, by Moliere + </title> + <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve"> + + body { margin:5%; background:#faebd0; text-align:justify} + P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; } + hr { width: 50%; text-align: center;} + .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; } + blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;} + .toc { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;} + .toc2 { margin-left: 20%;} + div.fig { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; } + div.middle { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; } + .figleft {float: left; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 1%;} + .figright {float: right; margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 1%;} + .pagenum {display:inline; font-size: 70%; font-style:normal; + margin: 0; padding: 0; position: absolute; right: 1%; + text-align: right;} + pre { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;} + +</style> + </head> + <body> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Amphitryon, by Moliere + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Amphitryon + +Author: Moliere + +Translator: A.R. Waller + +Release Date: December 6, 2008 [EBook #2536] +Last Updated: February 6, 2013 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AMPHITRYON *** + + + + +Produced by Bob Colomb, and David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h1> + AMPHITRYON + </h1> + <h3> + A play + </h3> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <h2> + By Moliere + </h2> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h3> + Translated by A.R. Waller + </h3> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="mynote"> + <p> + Amphitryon was played for the first time in Paris, at the Theatre du + Palais-Royal, January 13, 1668. It was successfully received, holding + the boards until the 18th of March, when Easter intervened. After the + re-opening of the theatre, it was played half a dozen times more the + same year, and continued to please. + </p> + <p> + The first edition was published in 1668. + </p> + <p> + Note: It is perhaps hardly necessary to refer the reader to Amphitryon, + by Plautus, the comedy upon which Moliere's charming play was, in the + main, based. The rendering attempted here can give but a faint + reflection of the original, for hardly any comedy of Moliere's loses + more in the process of translation. + </p> + <br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h3> + Contents + </h3> + <table summary="" style="margin-right: auto; margin-left: auto"> + <tr> + <td> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0001"> <b>AMPHITRYON</b> </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_PROL"> PROLOGUE </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0003"> ACT I </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0004"> ACT II </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0005"> ACT III </a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="link2H_4_0001" id="link2H_4_0001"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <h1> + AMPHITRYON + </h1> + <p> + <a name="link2H_PROL" id="link2H_PROL"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <div class="play"> + <h2> + PROLOGUE + </h2> + <p> + MERCURY, on a cloud; NIGHT, in a chariot drawn by two horses + </p> + <p> + MERC. Wait! Gentle Night; deign to stay awhile: Some help is needed from + you. I have two words to say to you from Jupiter. + </p> + <p> + NIGHT. Ah! Ah! It is you, Seigneur Mercury! Who would have thought of + you here, in that position? + </p> + <p> + MERC. Well, feeling tired, and not being able to fulfil the different + duties Jupiter ordered me, I quietly sat down on this cloud to await + your coming. + </p> + <p> + NIGHT. You jest, Mercury: you do not mean it; does it become the Gods to + say they are tired? + </p> + <p> + MERC. Are the Gods made of iron? + </p> + <p> + NIGHT. No; but one must always have a care for divine decorum. There are + certain words the use of which debases this sublime quality, and it is + meet that these should be left to men, because they are unworthy. + </p> + <p> + MERC. You speak at your ease, fair lady, from a swiftly rolling chariot, + in which, like a dame free from care; you are drawn by two fine horses + wherever you like. But it is not the same with me. Such is my miserable + fate that I cannot bear the poets too great a grudge for their gross + impertinence in having, by an unjust law, which they wish to retain in + force, given a separate conveyance to each God, for his own use, and + left me to go on foot: me, like a village messenger, though, as everyone + knows, I am the famous messenger of the sovereign of the Gods, on the + earth and in the heavens. Without any exaggeration, I need more than any + one else the means of being carried about, because of all the duties he + puts upon me. + </p> + <p> + NIGHT. What can one do? The poets do what pleases them. It is not the + only stupidity we have detected in these gentlemen. But surely your + irritation against them is wrong, for the wings at your feet are a + friendly gift of theirs. + </p> + <p> + MERC. Yes; but does going more quickly tire oneself less? + </p> + <p> + NIGHT. Let us leave the matter, Seigneur Mercury, and learn what is + wanted. + </p> + <p> + MERC. Jupiter, as I have told you, wishes the dark aid of your cloak for + a certain gallant adventure, which a new love affair has furnished him. + His custom is not new to you, I believe: often does he neglect the + heavens for the earth; and you are not ignorant that this master of the + Gods loves to take upon himself the guise of man to woo earthly + beauties. He knows a hundred ingenious tricks to entrap the most + obdurate. He has felt the darts of Alcmene's eyes; and, whilst + Amphitryon, her husband, commands the Theban troops on the plains of + Boeotia, Jupiter has taken his form, and assuaged his pains, in the + possession of the sweetest of pleasures. The condition of the couple is + propitious to his desire: Hymen joined them only a few days ago; and the + young warmth of their tender love suggested to Jupiter to have recourse + to this fine artifice. His stratagem proved successful in this case; but + with many a cherished object a similar disguise would not be of any use: + it is not always a sure means of pleasing, to adopt the form, of a + husband. + </p> + <p> + NIGHT. I admire Jupiter, and I cannot imagine all the disguises which + come into his head. + </p> + <p> + MERC. By these means he wishes to taste all sorts of conditions: that is + the act of a God who is not a fool. However mortals may regard him, I + should think very meanly of him if he never quitted his redoubtable + mien, and were always in the heavens, standing upon his dignity. In my + opinion, there is nothing more idiotic than always to be imprisoned in + one's grandeur; above all, a lofty rank becomes very inconvenient in the + transports of amorous ardour. Jupiter, no doubt, is a connoisseur in + pleasure, and he knows how to descend from the height of his supreme + glory. So that he can enter into everything that pleases him, he + entirely casts aside himself, and then it is no longer Jupiter who + appears. + </p> + <p> + NIGHT. I could overlook seeing him step down from his sublime stage to + that of men, since he wishes to enter into all the transports which + their natures can supply, and join in their jests, if, in the changes + which take his fancy, he would confine himself to nature. But I do not + think it fitting to see Jupiter as a bull, a serpent, a swan, or what + not, and it does not astonish me that it is sometimes talked about. + </p> + <p> + MERC. Let all the busybodies talk; such changes have their own charms + and surpass people's understanding. The God knows what he does in this + affair as in everything else: in the movements of their tender passions, + animals are not so loutish as one might think. + </p> + <p> + NIGHT. Let us return to the lady whose favours he enjoys. If, by his + stratagem, his pursuit is successful, what more can he wish? What can I + do? + </p> + <p> + MERC. He wishes that you would slacken the pace of your horses, to + satisfy the passion of his amorous heart, and so make of a delightful + night the longest night of all; that you would give him more time for + his transports, and retard the birth of day since it will hasten the + return of him whose place he occupies. + </p> + <p> + NIGHT. Really the employment which the great Jupiter reserves for me is + a worthy one! The service he requires of me passes under a very + respectable name. + </p> + <p> + MERC. You are somewhat old-fashioned for a young goddess! Such an + employment is not debasing except among people of mean birth. When one + has the happiness of belonging to lofty rank, whatever one does is + always right and good; things change their names to suit what one may + be. + </p> + <p> + NIGHT. You know more about such matters than I do; I will trust to your + enlightened views and accept this employment. + </p> + <p> + MERC. Come, come, now, Madam Night, a little gently, I beseech you. The + world gives you the reputation of not being so scrupulous. In a hundred + different climes you are made the confidant of many gallant adventures; + and, if I may speak candidly, we do not owe each other anything. + </p> + <p> + NIGHT. Let us cease these reproaches and remain what we are. Let us not + give men cause to laugh by telling each other the truth. + </p> + <p> + MERC. Adieu. I am going there to play my part in this business, promptly + to strip myself of the form of Mercury and to take in its place the + figure of Amphitryon's valet. + </p> + <p> + NIGHT. I am going to keep station in this hemisphere with my sombre + train. + </p> + <p> + MERC. Good day, Night. + </p> + <p> + NIGHT. Adieu, Mercury. + </p> + <p> + (Mercury descends from his cloud to the earth, and Night goes away in + her chariot.) + </p> + END OF THE PROLOGUE. <a name="link2H_4_0003" id="link2H_4_0003"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ACT I + </h2> + SCENE I SOSIE + <p> + Who goes there? Eh? My fear grows with every step. Gentlemen, I am a + friend to all the world. Ah! What unparalleled boldness, to be out at + this hour! My master is crowned with fame, but what a villainous trick + he plays me here! What? If he had any love for his neighbour, would he + have sent me out in such a black night? Could he not just as well have + waited until it was day before sending me to announce his return and the + details of his victory? To what servitude are thy days subjected, Sosie! + Our lot is far more hard with the great than with the mean. They insist + that everything in nature should be compelled to sacrifice itself for + them. Night and day, hail, wind, peril, heat, cold, as soon as they + speak we must fly. Twenty years of assiduous service do not gain us any + consideration from them. The least little whim draws down upon us their + anger. + </p> + <p> + Notwithstanding this, our infatuated hearts cling to the empty honour of + remaining near them, contented with the false idea, which every one + holds, that we are happy. In vain reason bids us retire; in vain our + spite sometimes consents to this; to be near them is too powerful an + influence on our zeal, and the least favour of a caressing glance + immediately re-engages us. But at last, I see our house through the + darkness, and my fear vanishes. + </p> + <p> + I must prepare some thought-out speech for my mission. I must give + Alcmene warlike description of the fierce combat which put our enemies + to flight. But how the deuce can I do this since I was not there? Never + mind; let us talk of cut and thrust, as though I were an eyewitness. How + many people describe battles from which they remained far away! In order + to act my part without discredit, I will rehearse it a little. + </p> + <p> + This is the chamber into which I am ushered as the messenger: this + lantern is Alcmene, to whom I have to speak. (He sets his lantern on the + ground and salutes it.) 'Madam, Amphitryon, my master and your + husband,... (Good! that is a fine beginning!) whose mind is ever full of + your charms, has chosen me from amongst all to bring tidings of the + success of his arms, and of his desire to be near you.' 'Ah! Really, my + poor Sosie, I am delighted to see you back again.' 'Madam, you do me too + much honour: my lot is an enviable one.' (Well answered!) + </p> + <p> + 'How is Amphitryon?' 'Madam, as a man of courage should be, when glory + leads him.' (Very good! A capital idea!) 'When will my heart be charmed + and satisfied by his return?' 'As soon as possible, assuredly, Madam, + but his heart desires a speedier return.' (Ah!) 'In what state has the + war left him? What says he? What does he? Ease my anxiety.' He says less + than he does, Madam, and makes his enemies tremble.' (Plague! where do I + get all these fine speeches?) 'What are the rebels doing? Tell me, what + is their condition?' 'They could not resist our efforts, Madam; we cut + them to pieces, put their chief, Pterelas, to death, took Telebos by + assault; and now the port rings with our prowess.' 'Ah! What a success! + Ye Gods! Who could ever have imagined it? Tell me, Sosie, how it + happened.' 'I will, gladly, Madam; and, without boasting, I can tell + you, with the greatest accuracy, the details of this victory. Imagine, + therefore, Madam, that Telebos is on this side. (He marks the places on + his hand, or on the ground.) It is a city really almost as large as + Thebes. The river is, say, there. Here, our people encamped; and that + space was occupied by our enemies. On a height, somewhere about here, + was their infantry; and, lower down, on the right side, was their + cavalry. After having addressed prayers to the Gods, and issued all the + orders, the signal was given. The enemy, thinking to turn our flank, + divided their horse soldiers into three platoons; but we soon chilled + their warmth, and you shall see how. Here is our vanguard ready to begin + work; there, were the archers of our king, Creon; and here, the main + army (some one makes a slight noise), which was just going to... Stay; + the main body is afraid'; I think I hear some noise. + </p> + SCENE II MERCURY, SOSIE + <p> + MERC. (Under the form of Sosie.) Under this mask which resembles him, I + will drive away the babbler from here. His unfortunate arrival may + disturb the pleasures our lovers are tasting together. + </p> + <p> + SOS. My heart revives a little; perhaps it was nothing. Lest anything + untoward should happen, however, I will go in to finish the + conversation. + </p> + <p> + MERC. I shall prevent your doing that unless you are stronger than + Mercury. + </p> + <p> + SOS. This night seems to me unusually long. By the time I have been on + the way, either my master has taken evening for morning, or lovely + Phoebus slumbers too long in bed through having taken too much wine. + </p> + <p> + MERC. With what irreverence this lubber speaks of the Gods! My arm shall + soon chastise this insolence; I shall have a fine game with him, + stealing his name as well as his likeness. + </p> + <p> + SOS. Ah! upon my word, I was right: I am done for, miserable creature + that I am! I see a man before our house whose mien bodes me no good. I + will sing a little to show some semblance of assurance. + </p> + <p> + (He sings; and, when Mercury speaks, his voice weakens, little by + little.) + </p> + <p> + MERC. What rascal is this, who takes the unwarrantable licence of + singing and deafening me like this? Does he wish me to curry his coat + for him? + </p> + <p> + SOS. Assuredly that fellow does not like music. + </p> + <p> + MERC. For more than a week, I have not found any one whose bones I could + break; my arm will lose its strength in this idleness. I must look out + for some one's back to get my wind again. + </p> + <p> + SOS. What the deuce of a fellow is this? My heart thrills with clutching + fear. But why should I tremble thus? Perhaps the rogue is as much afraid + as I am, and talks in this way to hide his fear from me under a feigned + audacity. Yes, yes, I will not allow him to think me a goose. If I am + not bold, I will try to appear so. Let me seek courage by reason; he is + alone, even as I am; I am strong, I have a good master, and there is our + house. + </p> + <p> + MERC. Who goes there? + </p> + SOS. I. + <p> + MERC. Who, I? + </p> + <p> + SOS. I. Courage, Sosie! + </p> + <p> + MERC. Tell me, what is your condition? + </p> + <p> + SOS. To be a man, and to speak. + </p> + <p> + MERC. Are you a master, or a servant? + </p> + <p> + SOS. As fancy takes me. + </p> + <p> + MERC. Where are you going? + </p> + <p> + SOS. Where I intend to go. + </p> + <p> + MERC. Ah! This annoys me. + </p> + <p> + SOS. I am ravished to hear it. + </p> + <p> + MERC. By hook or by crook, I must definitely know all about you, you + wretch; what you do, whence you come before the day breaks, where you + are going, and who you may be. + </p> + <p> + SOS. I do good and ill by turns; I come from there; I go there; I belong + to my master. + </p> + <p> + MERC. You show wit, and I see you think to play the man of importance + for my edification. I feel inclined to make your acquaintance by + slapping your face. + </p> + <p> + SOS. Mine? + </p> + <p> + MERC. Yours; and there you get it, sharp. (Mercury gives him a slap.) + </p> + <p> + SOS. Ah! Ah! This is a fine game! + </p> + <p> + MERC. No; it is only a laughing matter, a reply to your quips. + </p> + <p> + SOS. Good heavens! Friend, how you swing out your arm without any one + saying anything to you. + </p> + <p> + MERC. These are my lightest clouts, little ordinary smacks. + </p> + <p> + SOS. If I were as hasty as you, we should have a fine ado. + </p> + <p> + MERC. All this is nothing as yet: it is merely to fill up time; we shall + soon see something else; but let us continue our conversation. + </p> + <p> + SOS. I give up the game. (He turns to go away.) + </p> + <p> + MERC. Where are you going? + </p> + <p> + SOS. What does it matter to you? + </p> + <p> + MERC. I want to know where you are going. + </p> + <p> + SOS. I am going to open that door. Why do you detain me? + </p> + <p> + MERC. If you dare to go near it, I shall rain down a storm of blows on + you. + </p> + <p> + SOS. What? You wish to hinder me from entering our own house by threats? + </p> + <p> + MERC. What do you say, your house? + </p> + <p> + SOS. Yes, our house. + </p> + <p> + MERC. O, the scoundrel! You speak of that house? + </p> + <p> + SOS. Certainly. Is not Amphitryon the master of it? + </p> + <p> + MERC. Well! What does that prove? + </p> + <p> + SOS. I am his valet. + </p> + <p> + MERC. You? + </p> + SOS. I. + <p> + MERC. His valet? + </p> + <p> + SOS. Unquestionably. + </p> + <p> + MERC. Valet of Amphitryon? + </p> + <p> + SOS. Of Amphitryon himself. + </p> + <p> + MERC. Your name is? + </p> + <p> + SOS. Sosie. + </p> + <p> + MERC. Eh? What? + </p> + <p> + SOS. Sosie. + </p> + <p> + MERC. Listen: do you realise that my fist can knock you spinning? + </p> + <p> + SOS. Why? What fury has seized you now? + </p> + <p> + MERC. Tell me, who made you so rash as to take the name of Sosie? + </p> + <p> + SOS. I do not take it; I have always borne it. + </p> + <p> + MERC. O what a monstrous lie! What confounded impudence! You dare to + maintain that Sosie is your name? + </p> + <p> + SOS. Certainly; I maintain it, for the good reason that the Gods have so + ordered it by their supreme power. It is not in my power to say no, and + to be any one else than myself. + </p> + <p> + (Mercury beats him.) MERC. A thousand stripes ought to be the reward of + such audacity. + </p> + <p> + SOS. Justice, citizens! Help! I beseech you. + </p> + <p> + MERC. So, you gallows-bird, you yell out? + </p> + <p> + SOS. You beat me down with a thousand blows, and yet do not wish me to + cry out? + </p> + <p> + MERC. It is thus that my arm... + </p> + <p> + SOS. The action is unworthy. You gloat over the advantage which my want + of courage gives you over me; that is not fair treatment. It is mere + bullying to wish to profit by the poltroonery of those whom one makes to + feel the weight of one's arm. To thrash a man who does not retaliate is + not the act of a generous soul; and to show courage against men who have + none merits condemnation. + </p> + <p> + MERC. Well! Are you still Sosie? What say you? + </p> + <p> + SOS. Your blows have not made any metamorphosis in me; all the change + there is is that in the matter I am Sosie thrashed. + </p> + <p> + MERC. Still? A hundred fresh blows for this fresh impudence. + </p> + <p> + SOS. Have mercy, a truce to your blows. + </p> + <p> + MERC. Then a truce to your insolence. + </p> + <p> + SOS. Anything that pleases you; I will keep silence. The dispute between + us is too unequal. + </p> + <p> + MERC. Are you still Sosie? Say, villain! + </p> + <p> + SOS. Alas! I am what you wish; dispose of my lot exactly as you please: + your arm 'has made you the master of it. + </p> + <p> + MERC. I think you said your name was Sosie? + </p> + <p> + SOS. True, until now I thought the matter was clear; but your rod has + made me see that I was mistaken in this affair. + </p> + <p> + MERC. I am Sosie: all Thebes avows it. Amphitryon has never had other + than me. + </p> + <p> + SOS. You, Sosie? + </p> + <p> + MERC. Yes, Sosie; and if any one trifles with me, he must take care of + himself. + </p> + <p> + SOS. Heavens! Must I thus renounce myself, and see my name stolen by an + impostor. How lucky I am a poltroon! Or, by the death...! + </p> + <p> + MERC. What are you mumbling between your teeth? + </p> + <p> + SOS. Nothing. But, in the name of the Gods, give me leave to speak one + moment with you. + </p> + <p> + MERC. Speak. + </p> + <p> + SOS. But promise me, I beseech you, that there shall not be any more + strokes. Let us sign a truce. + </p> + <p> + MERC. Let that pass; go on, I grant you this point. + </p> + <p> + SOS. Tell me, who put this fancy into your head? What benefit will it be + to you to take my name? In short, were you a demon, could you hinder me + from being myself, from being Sosie? + </p> + <p> + MERC. What is this, you dare... + </p> + <p> + SOS. Ah! Gently: there is a truce to blows. + </p> + <p> + MERC. What! Gallows-bird, impostor, scoundrel... + </p> + <p> + SOS. As for abuse, give me as much as you please; it makes but a slight + wound and does not bother me. + </p> + <p> + MERC. You say you are Sosie? + </p> + <p> + SOS. Yes. Some ridiculous tale... + </p> + <p> + MERC. So, I shall break our truce, and take back my word. + </p> + <p> + SOS. I can't help it. I cannot annihilate myself for you, and endure so + improbable a tale. Is it in your power to be what I am? Can I cease to + be myself? Did any one ever hear of such a thing? And can you give the + lie to a hundred clear indications? Do I dream? Do I sleep? Is my mind + troubled by powerful transports? Do I not feel I am awake? Am I not in + my right senses? Has not my master, Amphitryon, commanded me to come + here to Alcmene his wife? Am I not, in commending his passion to her, to + give her an account of his deeds against our enemies? Have I not just + come from the harbour? Do I not hold a lantern in my hand? Have I not + found you in front of our house? Did I not speak to you in a perfectly + friendly manner? Do you not make use of my poltroonery to hinder me from + entering our house? Have you not vented your rage upon my back? Have you + not showered blows on me? Ah! All this is but too true: would to Heaven + it were less real! Cease therefore to jeer at a wretch's lot, and leave + me to acquit myself where my duty calls me. + </p> + <p> + MERC. Stop, or the shortest step brings down upon your back clattering + evidence of my just anger. All you have just said is mine, except the + blows. It is I, whom Amphitryon sent to Alcmene; who has just arrived + from the Persian port; I, who have come to announce the valour of his + arm, which has gained us a glorious victory, and slain the chief of our + enemies. In short, I am undoubtedly Sosie, son of Dave, an honest + shepherd; brother of Arpage, who died in a foreign land; husband of + Cleanthis the prude, whose temper drives me wild; I, who received a + thousand cuts from a whip at Thebes, without ever saying anything about + it; and who was once publicly branded on the back for being too worthy a + man. + </p> + <p> + SOS. He is right. If he were not Sosie, he could not know all he says; + all this is so astounding that even I begin to believe him a little. In + fact, now I look at him, I see he has my figure, looks, and manners. I + wilt ask him some question, in order to clear up this mystery. What did + Amphitryon obtain as his share of all the plunder taken from our + enemies? + </p> + <p> + MERC. Five fine large diamonds, beautifully set in a cluster, which + their chief wore as a rare piece of handicraft. + </p> + <p> + SOS. For whom does he intend so rich a present? + </p> + <p> + MERC. For his wife; he intends her to wear it. + </p> + <p> + SOS. Where have you put it, until you meet her? + </p> + <p> + MERC. In a casket sealed with the arms of my master. + </p> + <p> + SOS. He does not tell a single lie at any turn: I begin to doubt myself + in earnest. He has already cowed me into believing him to be Sosie; and + he might even reason me into thinking him so. Yet, when I touch myself, + and recollect, it seems to me I am myself. Where can I find some light + that will clearly make my way plain? What I have done alone, and what no + one has seen, cannot be known to any one else: that, at least, belongs + to me. I will astonish him by this question: it will confound him, and + we shall see. When they were at close quarters, what were you doing in + our tents, whither you ran to hide yourself away? + </p> + <p> + MERC. Off a ham + </p> + <p> + SOS. That is it! + </p> + <p> + MERC. Which I unearthed, I soon cut two succulent slices: they suited me + nicely. I added to them a wine which was usually kept dark, and, gloated + over the sight of it before I tasted it. So I took heart for our + fighters. + </p> + <p> + SOS. This unparalleled proof ends matters well in his favour; and, + unless he were in the bottle, there is nothing to be said. From the + proofs you show me, I cannot deny that you are Sosie: I admit it. But, + if you are he, tell me whom you wish me to be; for I must be someone. + </p> + <p> + MERC. When I shall no longer be Sosie, you may be he, I consent to that; + but I promise you it shall be the death of you if you take up such a + fancy while I am he. + </p> + <p> + SOS. All this confusion turns me inside out, for reason is against what + I see. But I must end this by some means; and the shortest way for me is + to go in there. + </p> + <p> + MERC. Oh! You gallows-bird, you want to taste the stick. + </p> + <p> + SOS. What is the matter? Great Gods! He makes the blows ring again; my + back will ache for a month. I will leave this devil of a fellow, and + return to the harbour. O just Heavens, what a fine ambassador I have + been! + </p> + <p> + MERC. At last, I have made him fly; this treatment has paid him out for + many of his deeds. But here is Jupiter, gallantly escorting his lover + Alcmene. + </p> + SCENE III JUPITER, ALCMENE, CLEANTHIS, MERCURY + <p> + JUP. My dear Alcmene, forbid the torch-bearers to come near. They give + me delight in enabling me to see you; but they might betray my being + here, and this were best unrevealed. Restrained by all the heavy cares + with which the glory of our arms held me bound, my heart has stolen from + the duties of my post the moments it has just given to your charms. This + theft, which I have consecrated to your beauty, might be blamed by the + public voice; and the only witness I want, is she who can thank me for + it. + </p> + <p> + ALC. I take great interest, Amphitryon, in the glory which your + illustrious exploits have cast upon you; the fame of your victory moves + my heart to its depths. But when I see that this disastrous honour keeps + my lover away from me, such is my heart's feeling that I cannot forbear + to think ill of it, and to regret the high order which makes you general + of the Thebans. It is sweet after a victory to see the glory to which + one's lover has been raised; but, from among the perils attached to this + glory, a deadly blow, alas! may soon fall. With how many fears is one's + heart wounded at the report of the least skirmish! In the horror of such + a thought, is there anything that can console for the threatened stroke? + And with whatever laurels the victor may be crowned, whatever share one + may have in that supreme honour, is it worth what it costs a tender + heart, which trembles every moment for its lover? + </p> + <p> + JUP. I do not see anything in you but what inflames my passion; + everything shows me a deeply enamoured heart; and, I confess, it is a + great delight to find so much love in a beloved object. But, if I may + dare say so, one scruple in the tender sentiments which you show me + causes me anxiety; and, in order to enjoy you the more, dear Alcmene, my + heart would rather see love only, and not duty, in the favours which I + receive from you; may they arise solely from affection, and have respect + to my person only; let not my condition as your husband be the reason + for them. + </p> + <p> + ALC. Yet it is in that name that the ardour which burns me holds the + right to show itself: I do not understand this new scruple which + troubles your heart. + </p> + <p> + JUP. The love and tenderness which I have for you far exceeds a + husband's; in these sweet moments, you do not realise its delicacy; You + do not understand that a heart deeply in love studiously attaches itself + to a hundred little trifles, and is restless over the manner of being + happy. In me, fair and charming Alcmene, you see a lover and a husband; + but, to speak frankly, it is the lover that appeals to me; when near + you, I feel the husband restrains him. This lover, who is supremely + jealous of your love, wishes your heart to abandon itself solely to him: + his passion does not wish anything the husband gives him. He wishes to + obtain the warmth of your love from the fountain-head, and not to owe + anything to the bonds of wedlock, or to a duty which palls and makes the + heart sad, for by these the sweetness of the most cherished favours is + daily poisoned. This idea, in short, tosses him to and fro, and he + wishes, in order to satisfy his scruples, that you would differentiate + where the occasion offends him, the husband to be only for your virtue, + and the lover to have the whole affection and tenderness of a heart + known to be full of kindness. + </p> + <p> + ALC. In truth, Amphitryon, you must be jesting, to talk thus; I should + be afraid anyone who heard you would think you were not sane. + </p> + <p> + JUP. There is more reason in this discourse, Alcmene, than you think. + But a longer stay here would render me guilty, and time presses for my + return to port. Adieu. The stern call of duty tears me away from you for + a time; but, lovely Alcmene, I beseech you at least to think of the + lover when you see the husband. + </p> + <p> + ALC. I do not separate what the Gods unite: both husband and lover are + very precious to me. + </p> + <p> + CLE. O Heaven! How delightful are the caresses of an ardently cherished + husband! How far my poor husband is from all this tenderness! + </p> + <p> + MERC. I must tell Night she has but to furl all her sails; the Sun may + now arise from his bed and put out the stars. + </p> + SCENE IV + <p> + CLEANTHIS, MERCURY (Mercury turns to go away) + </p> + <p> + CLE. So? Is it thus you quit me? + </p> + <p> + MERC. What would you have? Do you wish me not to do my duty, and follow + in Amphitryon's footsteps? + </p> + <p> + CLE. To separate from me so rudely as this, you villain! + </p> + <p> + MERC. It is a fine subject to make a fuss about! We have still plenty of + time to live together! + </p> + <p> + CLE. But to go in such a churlish manner, without saying a single kind + word to cheer me! + </p> + <p> + MERC. Where the deuce shall I dig up silly compliments? Fifteen years of + married life exhaust nonsense; we said all we had to say to each other a + long time ago. + </p> + <p> + CLE. Look at Amphitryon, you rascal; see how his ardour burns for + Alcmene; and then blush for the little passion that you show your wife. + </p> + <p> + MERC. But, gracious me! Cleanthis, they are still lovers. There comes a + certain age when all this passes away; what suits them well in these + early days would look ridiculous in us, old married people. It would be + it fine sight to see us embracing each other, and saying sweet nothings! + </p> + <p> + CLE. Oh! You perfidious wretch, must I give up hope that a heart sighs + for me? + </p> + <p> + MERC. No, I should be sorry to say that; but I have too long a beard to + dare to sigh; I should make you die of laughter. + </p> + <p> + CLE. You brute, do you deserve the good fortune of having a virtuous + woman for your wife? + </p> + <p> + MERC. Good Heavens! You are but too virtuous; this fine virtue is not + worth anything to me. Do not be quite so honest a woman, and don't + bother me so much. + </p> + <p> + CLE. What? Do you blame me for being too honest? + </p> + <p> + MERC. A woman's gentleness is what charms me most: your virtue makes a + clatter that never ceases to deafen me. + </p> + <p> + CLE. You care for hearts full of false tenderness, for those women with + the laudable and fine talent of knowing how to smother their husbands + with caresses in order to make them oblivious of the existence of + lovers. + </p> + <p> + MERC. Well! Shall I tell you what I think? An imaginary evil concerns + fools only; my device should be: 'Less honour and more peace.' + </p> + <p> + CLE. Would you, without any repugnance, suffer me openly to love a + gallant? + </p> + <p> + MERC. Yes, if I were no longer worried by your tongue, and if it changed + your temper and your goings-on. I prefer a convenient vice, to a + fatiguing virtue. Adieu, Cleanthis, my dear soul; I must follow + Amphitryon. (He goes away.) + </p> + <p> + CLE Why has not my heart sufficient resolution to punish this infamous + scoundrel? Ah, how it maddens me, now, that I am an honest woman! + </p> + END OF THE FIRST ACT <a name="link2H_4_0004" id="link2H_4_0004"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ACT II + </h2> + SCENE I AMPHITRYON, SOSIE + <p> + AMPH. Come here, you rascal, come here. Do you know, Master Villain, + that your talk is sufficient to cause me to knock you down, and that my + wrath waits only for a stick to thrash you as I intend? + </p> + <p> + SOS. If you take it in that way, Monsieur, I have nothing more to say; + you will be always in the right. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. So? You scoundrel, you wish to impose upon me as truths tales + which I know to be extravagantly far-fetched? + </p> + <p> + SOS. No; I am the servant, and you are the master; it shall not be + otherwise than you wish it, Monsieur. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Come, I will choke down the anger that inflames me, and hear all + you have to say about your mission. I must unravel this confusion before + I see my wife. Collect your senses, think well over what you say, and + answer each question word for word. + </p> + <p> + SOS. But, lest I make a mistake, tell me, I beseech you, beforehand, in + what way it would please you to have this affair healed. Shall I speak, + Monsieur, according to my conscience, or as usual when near the great? + Shall I tell the truth or use a certain complaisance? + </p> + <p> + AMPH. No; I only wish you to give me a perfectly unvarnished account. + </p> + <p> + SOS. Good. That is enough; leave it to me; you have, but to interrogate + me. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Upon the order which I lately gave you... + </p> + <p> + SOS. I set forth under skies veiled in black crape, swearing bitterly + against you for this wretched martyrdom, and cursing twenty times the + order of which you speak. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. What do you mean, you villain? + </p> + <p> + SOS. You have only to speak, Monsieur, and I shall lie, if you desire + it. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. That is how a valet shows his zeal for us. Never mind. What + happened to you on the way? + </p> + <p> + SOS. I had a mortal fright at the least thing I met. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Poltroon! + </p> + <p> + SOS. Nature has her caprices in forming us; she gives us differing + inclinations; some find a thousand delights in exposing themselves; I + find them in taking care of myself. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. When you arrived at the house...? + </p> + <p> + SOS. When I reached the door, I wished to rehearse to myself for a short + time, in what tone and in what manner I should give a glorious account + of the battle. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. What followed? + </p> + <p> + SOS. Some one came to annoy and trouble me. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Who was he? + </p> + <p> + SOS. Sosie; another I, jealous of your orders, whom you sent to Alcmene + from the port, and who has as full knowledge of our secrets as I who am + speaking to you. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. What nonsense! + </p> + <p> + SOS. No, Monsieur, it is the simple truth: this I was at your house + sooner than I; and, I swear to you, I was there before I had arrived. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Pray, where does all this cursed nonsense come from? Is it a + dream? Is it drunkenness? Mind-wandering? Or a sorry joke? + </p> + <p> + SOS. No, it is the thing as it is, and by no means an idle tale. I am a + man of honour, I give you my word, and you must please believe it. I + tell you, believing I was but one Sosie, I found myself two at your + house; and of these two I's, piqued with jealousy, one is at the house, + and the other is with you; the I who is here, tired out, found the other + I fresh, jolly and active, having no other anxiety than to fight and + break bones. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. I confess I must be of a very placid temper, very peaceable, very + gentle, to permit a valet to entertain me with such nonsense! + </p> + <p> + SOS. If you become angry, no more conference between us: you know all + will be over at once. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. No; I will listen to you without being carried away; I promised + it. But tell me in good earnest, is there any shadow of likelihood in + this new mystery which you have just told me? + </p> + <p> + SOS. No; you are right, the matter must appear to everyone past credit. + It is a fact past understanding, an extravagant, ridiculous, far-fetched + tale: it shocks common sense; but it is none the less a fact. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. How can anyone believe it, unless he has taken leave of his + senses? + </p> + <p> + SOS. I myself did not believe it without extreme difficulty: I thought I + was losing my senses when I saw myself two, and, for a long time, I + treated my other self as an impostor: but he compelled me in the end to + recognise myself; I saw it was I, without any trickery; from head to + foot he is like me-handsome, a noble air, well built, charming manners; + in fact, two peas do not resemble each other more; were it not that his + hands are a little too heavy, I should be perfectly satisfied. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. I had need exhort myself to patience! But did you not in the end + go into the house? + </p> + <p> + SOS. Good, go in! Ah! In what fashion? Have I never wished to listen to + reason? Did I not forbid myself to enter our door? + </p> + <p> + AMPH. In what way? + </p> + <p> + SOS. With a stick, my back still aches from it. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. You have been thrashed? + </p> + <p> + SOS. Truly. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. And by whom? + </p> + <p> + SOS. Myself. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. You have thrashed yourself? + </p> + <p> + SOS. Yes, I; not the I who is here, but the I from the house, who whacks + soundly. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Heaven confound you for talking to me like this! + </p> + <p> + SOS. I am not joking; the I whom I have just met has great advantages + over the I who speaks to you. He has a strong arm and great courage; I + have had proofs of both; this devil of an I has licked me soundly; he is + a fellow who can do wonders. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Let us, cease this. Have you seen my wife? + </p> + <p> + SOS. No. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Why not? + </p> + <p> + SOS. For a sufficiently strong reason. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Who hindered you, scoundrel? Explain yourself. + </p> + <p> + SOS. Must I repeat the same thing twenty times? I, I tell you, this I + who is more robust than I, this I who took possession of the door by + force, this I who made me slope off, this I who wishes to be the only I, + this I who is jealous of myself, this valiant I, whose anger made itself + known to this poltroon of an I, in fact, this I who is at our house, + this I who has shown himself to be my master, this I who has racked me + with pain. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. His brain must be addled by having had too much to drink this + morning. + </p> + <p> + SOS. May I be hanged if I have had anything to drink but water: I take + my oath on it. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Then your senses must have been fast asleep: some silly dream has + shown you all these fairy tales and confused mysteries which you wish me + to take for truths. + </p> + <p> + SOS. That is just as far away from the truth. I have not slept, and I do + not even feel inclined that way. I am speaking to you wide-awake; I was + wide awake this morning, upon my life! And the other Sosie was also + wide-awake, when he drubbed me so well. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Follow me; I order you to be silent. You tire my brain too much; I + must be an out-and-out fool to have the patience to listen to the + nonsense a valet has to say. + </p> + <p> + SOS. All talk is nonsense that comes from a man who is unknown. If a + great man were to say it, it would be exquisite language. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Let us go in without waiting any longer. But here comes Alcmene + clothed in all her charms. Doubtless she does not expect me so soon, and + my arrival will surprise her. + </p> + SCENE II ALCMENE, CLEANTHIS, AMPHITRYON, SOSIE + <p> + ALC. Come, Cleanthis, let us attend the Gods, pay them our homage for my + husband's sake, and thank them for the glorious success, of which + Thebes, by his arm, reaps the advantage. O ye Gods! + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Heaven grant that victorious Amphitryon may be met with renewed + pleasure by his wife: that this day may be favourable to my passion, and + restore you to me with the same heart: may I again find as much love as + my heart brings to you! + </p> + <p> + ALC. Ah! Have you returned so soon. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Really, you give me but a sorry proof of your love; this, 'Ah! + have you returned so soon?' is scarcely the language a heart really + inflamed with love would use on such an occasion as this. I dared to + flatter myself I had remained away from you too long. The expectation of + an ardently longed for return makes each moment seem of great length; + the absence of what we love, however brief it may be, is always too + long. + </p> + <p> + ALC. I do not see... + </p> + <p> + AMPH. No, Alcmene, time is measured in such cases by one's impatience; + you count the moments of absence as one who does not love. When we + really love, the slightest separation kills us; the one whom we love to + see never returns too soon. I confess that the love I bear you has cause + to complain of your reception; I expected different expressions of joy + and tenderness from your heart. + </p> + <p> + ALC. I cannot understand on what you found the words you have just + uttered; if you complain of me, upon my word I do not know what would + satisfy you. I think I showed a sufficiently tender joy last night, at + your happy return; my heart responded by every means you could wish to + the claims of your affection. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. In what way? + </p> + <p> + ALC. Did I not clearly show the sudden transports of a perfect joy? + Could a heart's feelings be better expressed at the return of a husband + who is tenderly loved? + </p> + <p> + AMPH. What do you say? + </p> + <p> + ALC. That even your affection showed an inconceivable joy at my + reception; and that, as you left me at break of day, I do not see that + my surprise at this sudden return is so guilty. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Did you, in a dream last night, Alcmene, anticipate in idea the + reality of my hastened return; and having, perhaps, treated me kindly in + your sleep, does your heart think it has fully acquitted itself of its + duty to my passion? + </p> + <p> + ALC. Has some malignant vapour in your mind, Amphitryon, clouded the + truth of last night's return? Does your heart pretend to take away from + me the credit of all the gentle affection I showed you in my tender + welcome? + </p> + <p> + AMPH. This vapour you attribute to me seems to me somewhat strange. + </p> + <p> + ALC. It is in return for the dream which you attribute to me. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Unless it is because of a dream, what you have just now told me is + entirely inexcusable. + </p> + <p> + ALC. Unless it is a vapour which troubles your mind, what I have heard + from you cannot be justified. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Let us leave this vapour for a moment, Alcmene. + </p> + <p> + ALC. Let us leave this dream for a moment, Amphitryon. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. One cannot jest on the subject in question without being carried + too far. + </p> + <p> + ALC. Undoubtedly; and, as a sure proof of it, I begin to feel somewhat + uneasy. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Is it thus you wish to try to make amends for the welcome of which + I complain? + </p> + <p> + ALC. Do you desire to try to amuse yourself by this feint? + </p> + <p> + AMPH. For Heaven's, sake, I beseech you, Alcmene! Let us cease this, and + talk seriously. + </p> + <p> + ALC. You carry your amusement too far, Amphitryon: let there be an end + to this raillery. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Do you really dare maintain to my face that I was seen here before + this hour? + </p> + <p> + ALC. Have you really the assurance to deny that you came here early + yesterday evening? + </p> + <p> + AMPH. I! I came yesterday? + </p> + <p> + ALC. Certainly; and you went away again before dawn. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Heavens! Was ever such a debate as this heard before? Who would + not be astonished at all this? Sosie? + </p> + <p> + SOS. She needs six grains of hellebore, Monsieur; her brain is turned. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Alcmene, in the name of all the Gods, this discourse will have a + strange ending! Recollect your senses a little better, and think what + you say. + </p> + <p> + ALC. I am indeed thinking seriously; all in the house saw your arrival. + I am ignorant what motive makes you act thus; but, if the thing were in + need of proof, if it were true that such a thing could be forgotten, + from whom, but from you, could I have heard the news of the latest of + all your battles, and of the five diamonds worn by Pterelas, who was + plunged into eternal night by the strength of your arm? Could one wish + for surer testimony? + </p> + <p> + AMPH. What? I have already given you the cluster of diamonds which I had + for my share, and intended for you? + </p> + <p> + ALC. Assuredly. It is not difficult to convince you thoroughly on that + point. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. How? + </p> + <p> + ALC. Here it is. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Sosie! + </p> + <p> + SOS. She is jesting: I have it here; Monsieur, the feint is useless. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. The seal is whole. + </p> + <p> + ALC. Is it a vision? There. Will you think this proof strong enough? + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Ah Heaven! O just Heaven! + </p> + <p> + ALC. Come, Amphitryon, you are joking in acting thus: you ought to be + ashamed of it. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Break this seal, quickly. + </p> + <p> + SOS. (Having opened the casket.) Upon my word, the casket is empty. It + must have been taken out by witchcraft, or else it came by itself a + guide, to her whom it knew it was intended to adorn. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. O Gods, whose power governs all things, what is this adventure? + What can I augur from it that does not clutch at my heart? + </p> + <p> + SOS. If she speaks the truth, we have the same lot, and, like me, + Monsieur, you are double. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Be silent. + </p> + <p> + ALC. Why are you so surprised? What causes all this confusion? + </p> + <p> + AMPH. O Heaven! What strange perplexity! I see incidents which surpass + Nature, and my honour fears an adventure which my mind does not + understand. + </p> + <p> + ALC. Do you still wish to deny your hasty return, when you have this + sensible proof of it? + </p> + <p> + AMPH. No; but if it be possible, deign to tell me what passed at this + return. + </p> + <p> + ALC. Since you ask an account of the matter, you still say it was not + you? + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Pardon me; but I have a certain reason which makes me ask you to + give us this account. + </p> + <p> + ALC. Have the important cares which perhaps engross you made you so + quickly lose the remembrance of it? + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Perhaps; but, in short, you would please me by telling me the + whole story. + </p> + <p> + ALC. The story is not long. I advanced towards you full of a delighted + surprise; I embraced you tenderly, and showed my joy more than once. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. (to himself.) Ah! I could have done without so sweet a welcome. + </p> + <p> + ALC. You first made me this valuable gift, which you destined for me + from the spoils of the conquered. Your heart vehemently unfolded to me + all the violence of its love, and the annoying duties which had kept it + enchained, the happiness of seeing me again, the torments of absence, + all the care which your impatience to return had given you; never has + your love, on similar occasions, seemed to me so tender and so + passionate. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. (to himself.) Can one be more cruelly tortured? + </p> + <p> + ALC. As you may well believe, these transports and this tenderness did + not displease me; if I must confess it, Amphitryon, my heart found a + thousand charms in them. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. What followed, pray? + </p> + <p> + ALC. We interrupted each other with a thousand questions concerning each + other. The table was laid. We supped together by ourselves; and, supper + over, we went to bed. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Together? + </p> + <p> + ALC. Assuredly. What a question? + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Ah; this is the most cruel stroke of all; my jealous passion + trembled to assure itself of this. + </p> + <p> + ALC. Why do you blush so deeply at a word? Have I done something wrong + in going to bed with you? + </p> + <p> + AMPH. No, to my great misery, it was not I; whoever says I was here + yesterday, tells, of all falsehoods, the most horrible. + </p> + <p> + ALC. Amphitryon! + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Perfidious woman! + </p> + <p> + ALC. Ah! What madness is this! + </p> + <p> + AMPH. No, no; no more sweetness, no more respect; this rebuff puts an + end to all my constancy; at this ghastly moment, my heart breathes only + fury and, vengeance. + </p> + <p> + ALC. On whom then would you be avenged? What want of faith in me makes + you treat me now as a criminal? + </p> + <p> + AMPH. I do not know, but it was not I; this despair makes me capable of + anything. + </p> + <p> + ALC. Away unworthy husband, the deed speaks for itself, the imposture is + frightful. It is too great an insult to accuse me of infidelity. If + these confused transports mean that you seek a pretext to break the + nuptial bonds which hold me enchained to you, all these pretences are + superfluous, for I am determined that this day all our ties shall be + broken. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. After the unworthy affront, which I now learn has been done me, + that is indeed what you must prepare yourself for; it is the least that + can be expected; and things may not perhaps remain there. The dishonour + is sure; my misery is made plain to me; and my pride in vain would hide + it from me. The details are still not clear: My anger is just and I + claim to be enlightened. Your brother can positively avouch that I did + not leave him until this morning: I will go and seek him, in order that + I may confound you about the return falsely imputed to me. Afterwards, + we will penetrate to the bottom of a mystery unheard of until now; and, + in the fury of a righteous anger, woe to him who has betrayed me! + </p> + <p> + SOS. Monsieur... + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Do not accompany me, but remain here for me. + </p> + <p> + CLE. Must I...? + </p> + <p> + ALC. I cannot hear anything: leave me alone: do not follow me. + </p> + SCENE III CLEANTHIS, SOSIE + <p> + CLE. Something must have turned his brain; but the brother will soon + finish this quarrel. + </p> + <p> + SOS. This is a very sharp blow for my master; his fate is cruel. I + greatly fear something coming for myself. I will go softly in + enlightening her. + </p> + <p> + CLE. Let me see whether he will so much as speak to me! I will not + reveal anything. + </p> + <p> + SOS. These things are often annoying when one knows about them: I + hesitate to ask her. Would it not be better not to risk anything, and to + ignore what may have happened? Yet, at all hazard, I must see. I cannot + help myself. Curiosity concerning things which one would rather not know + is a human weakness. Heaven preserve you, Cleanthis! + </p> + <p> + CLE. Ah! Ah! You dare to come near me, you villain! + </p> + <p> + SOS. Good Heavens! What is the matter with you? You are always in a + temper, and become angry about nothing! + </p> + <p> + CLE. What do you call about nothing? Speak out. + </p> + <p> + SOS. I call about nothing what is called about nothing in verse as well + as in prose; and nothing, as you well know, means to say nothing, or + very little. + </p> + <p> + CLE. I do not know what keeps me from scratching your eyes out, infamous + rascal, to teach you how far the anger of a woman can go. + </p> + <p> + SOS. Hullo! What do you mean by this furious rage? + </p> + <p> + CLE. Then you call that nothing, perhaps, which you have done to me? + </p> + <p> + SOS. What was that? + </p> + <p> + CLE. So? You feign to be innocent? Do you follow the example of your + master and say you did not return here? + </p> + <p> + SOS. No, I know the contrary too well; but I will be frank with you. We + had drunk some wretched wine, which might have made me forget what I + did. + </p> + <p> + CLE. You think, perhaps, to excuse yourself by this trick,... + </p> + <p> + SOS. No, in truth you may believe me. I was in such a condition that I + may have done things I should regret; I do not remember what they were. + </p> + <p> + CLE. You do not even remember the manner in which you thought fit to + treat me when you came from the port? + </p> + <p> + SOS. Not at all. You had better tell me all about it; I am just and + sincere, and would condemn myself were I wrong. + </p> + <p> + CLE. Well? Amphitryon having warned me of your return, I sat up until + you came; but I never saw such coldness: I had myself to remind you that + you had a wife; and, when I wanted to kiss you, you, turned away your + head, and gave me your ear. + </p> + <p> + SOS. Good. + </p> + <p> + CLE. What do you mean by good? + </p> + <p> + SOS. Good gracious! You do not know why I talk like this, Cleanthis: I + had been eating garlic, and, like a well-bred man, just turned my breath + away from you. + </p> + <p> + CLE. I showed you every possible tenderness; but you were as deaf as a + post to everything I said; never a kind word passed your lips. + </p> + <p> + SOS. Courage! + </p> + <p> + CLE. In short, my flame bad to burn alone, its chaste ardour did not + find anything in you but ice; you were the culprit in a return that + might have been so different: you even went so far as to refuse to take + your place in bed, which the laws of wedlock oblige you to occupy. + </p> + <p> + SOS. What? Did I not go to bed? + </p> + <p> + CLE. No, you coward. + </p> + <p> + SOS. Is it possible? + </p> + <p> + CLE. It is but too true, you rascal. Of all affronts this affront is the + greatest; and, instead of your heart repairing its wrong this morning, + you left me with words full of undisguised contempt. + </p> + <p> + SOS. Vivat Sosie! + </p> + <p> + CLE. Eh, what? Has my complaint had this effect? You laugh at your fine + goings on? + </p> + <p> + SOS. How pleased I am with myself! + </p> + <p> + CLE. Is this the way to express your grief at such an outrage? + </p> + <p> + SOS. I should never have believed I could be so prudent. + </p> + <p> + CLE. Instead of condemning yourself for such a perfidious trick, you + rejoice at it to my face! + </p> + <p> + SOS. Good gracious! Gently, gently! If I appear pleased, you must + believe that I have a very strong private reason for it; without + thinking of it, I never did better than in using you in such a manner as + I did. + </p> + <p> + CLE. Are you laughing at me, you villain? + </p> + <p> + SOS. No, I am speaking openly to you. I was in a wretched state. I had a + certain load, which your words have lifted from my soul. I was very + apprehensive, and feared that I had played the fool with you. + </p> + <p> + CLE. What is this fear? Come, let us know what you mean. + </p> + <p> + SOS. The doctors say that, when one is drunk, one should abstain from + one's wife, for, in that condition we can only have children who are + dull, and who cannot live. Think, if my heart had not armed itself with + coldness, what troubles might have followed! + </p> + <p> + CLE. I do not care a fig for doctors, with their insipid reasonings. Let + them rule those who are sick without wishing to govern healthy people. + They meddle with too many affairs when they seek to rein in our chaste + desires; in addition to the dog days, and their strict rules, they tell + us a hundred ridiculous stories into the bargain. + </p> + <p> + SOS. Gently. + </p> + <p> + CLE. No; I maintain theirs is a worthless conclusion: those reasons come + from idiotic brains. Neither wine nor time ought to prevent the duties + of conjugal love from being fulfilled; doctors are donkeys. + </p> + <p> + SOS. I entreat you, moderate your anger against them; they are honest + people, whatever the world may say of them. + </p> + <p> + CLE. Things are not what you think them; you can shut up; your excuse + will not go down; and, sooner or later, I tell you plainly, I will + avenge myself for the contempt you show me every day. I remember + everything you said just now, and I shall try to make use of the liberty + you gave me, You faithless, cowardly husband. + </p> + <p> + SOS. What? + </p> + <p> + CLE. You told me just now, you villain, that you would heartily agree to + my loving another. + </p> + <p> + SOS. Ah! In that matter I was wrong. I retract; my honour is at stake. + You had better beware you do not give way to that sentiment. + </p> + <p> + CLE. Nevertheless if some time I can make up my mind to the thing... + </p> + <p> + SOS. Just stop talking for the present. Amphitryon is coming back, and + he seems pleased. + </p> + SCENE IV JUPITER, CLEANTHIS, SOSIE + <p> + JUP. I shall take this opportunity of appearing to Alcmene to banish the + sorrow in which she wishes to indulge, and, under the pretence that + brings me here, I will gratify my passion with the delight of a + reconciliation with her. Alcmene is upstairs, is she not? + </p> + <p> + CLE. Yes; she is thoroughly upset and wishes to be left alone: she has + forbidden me to follow her. + </p> + <p> + JUP. Whatever prohibition she may have given you does not concern me. + </p> + <p> + CLE. So far as I can see, his grief has beaten a quick retreat. + </p> + SCENE V CLEANTHIS, SOSIE + <p> + SOS. What do you say, Cleanthis, to these cheerful looks, after his + terrible rage? + </p> + <p> + CLE. That we should all do well to send all men to the devil; the best + of them is not worth much. + </p> + <p> + SOS. You say that because you are in a passion; but you are too fond of + men; upon my word, you would all look as black as thunder if the devil + were to take them all away. + </p> + <p> + CLE. Really... + </p> + <p> + SOS. Here they come. Hush. + </p> + SCENE VI JUPITER, ALCMENE, CLEANTHIS, SOSIE + <p> + JUP. Do you want to drive me to despair? Alas! Stay, lovely Alcmene. + </p> + <p> + ALC. No, I cannot remain longer with the author of my grief. + </p> + <p> + JUP. I beseech you + </p> + <p> + ALC. Leave me. + </p> + <p> + JUP. What...? + </p> + <p> + ALC. Leave me, I tell you. + </p> + <p> + JUP. Her tears touch me to the heart; her sorrow troubles me. Allow me + to + </p> + <p> + ALC. No, do not follow me. + </p> + <p> + JUP. Where are you going? + </p> + <p> + ALC. Where you are not. + </p> + <p> + JUP. That would be a vain attempt to make. I am linked to your beauty by + too close a bond to suffer a moment's separation from you. I shall + follow you everywhere, Alcmene. + </p> + <p> + ALC. And I shall flee from you everywhere. + </p> + <p> + JUP. I am very terrible, then! + </p> + <p> + ALC. Yes, more than I can say. Indeed, I look upon you as a frightful + monster, a cruel, furious monster, whose approach is to be feared; as a + monster to be avoided everywhere. My heart suffers incredible grief at + the sight of you; it is a torture that overpowers me; I do not know + anything under Heaven so frightful, horrible and odious, that I could + not better endure than you. + </p> + <p> + JUP. Alas! Do these words really come from your mouth? + </p> + <p> + ALC. I have many more in my heart; I only regret I cannot find words to + express all I feel. + </p> + <p> + JUP. Ah! What has my heart done to you, Alcmene, that I should be looked + upon as such a monster? + </p> + <p> + ALC. Oh! Just Heaven! He can ask that? Is it not enough to drive me mad? + </p> + <p> + JUP. Yet, in a milder spirit... + </p> + <p> + ALC. No; I do not wish either to see or to hear anything of you. + </p> + <p> + JUP. Have you really the heart to treat me thus? Is this the tender love + which I heard yesterday was to last so long? + </p> + <p> + ALC. No, no, it is not; your base insults have ordained it otherwise. + That passionate and tender love does not exist any longer; you have + cruelly killed it in my heart by a hundred keen wounds. In its place + stands an inflexible wrath, a lively resentment, an invincible + indignation, the despair of a heart justly incensed, which resolves to + hate you for this grievous injury, as much as it was willing to love + you; that is to say to hate as much as possible. + </p> + <p> + JUP. Alas! Your love must have had but little strength, if it can be + killed by so slight a matter! Can a jest divorce us? Is there any need + to be so roused at a trifle? + </p> + <p> + ALC. Ah! It is just that which offends me: that which my anger cannot + pardon. I should have felt less wounded by the justifiable transports of + a fit of jealousy. Jealousy makes impressions the force of which + oftentimes carries us beyond our control; at such times the most + discreet mind, no doubt, finds it difficult enough to answer for its + deeds. The violence of a heart which may have been deluded has, in its + very delusion, a peace-offering for an aggrieved soul, and the love that + gave birth to its fears, furnishes, in spite of all its violence, at + least some reasons to urge as excuse. Outbursts such as these ever have + love as an excuse against anger: for love gave birth to them, and we can + easily pardon what we cannot control. + </p> + <p> + But to fly into uncontrollable fury, in gaiety of heart, and so + causelessly and keenly to wound the tenderness and honour of a heart + that dearly loves you, ah! It is too cruel a blow: my grief can never + forget it. + </p> + <p> + JUP. Yes, you are right, Alcmene; I admit it. This action is + unquestionably an odious crime; I do not pretend to justify it longer: + yet allow my heart to defend itself in your eyes, and let it reveal to + you who is to blame for this insulting fury. To tell you frankly, it is + the husband Alcmene, who has done this wrong; it is the husband whom you + must blame. The lover has no share in this churlish anger: his heart is + not capable of offending you. He has too much respect and affection for + you ever to think of it; had he been guilty of the crime of doing aught + that could wound you, he would pierce himself with a hundred stabs + before your eyes. But the husband has cast aside that humble submission + which should always be yours; by his harsh deeds, the husband has made + himself known; he thought the rights of marriage allowed him everything. + Yes, it is he no doubt who is guilty towards you; he only has + ill-treated your lovely person. Hate, detest the husband; I consent to + it; I yield him to your mercy; but, Alcmene, spare the lover from the + anger which such an offence gives you; do not let him suffer; + differentiate between him and the guilty one; and, finally, in order to + be just, do not punish him for what he has not done. + </p> + <p> + ALC. Oh! All these subtleties are but frivolous excuses; such language + only annoys incensed minds. In vain do you use these ridiculous + prevarications. I do not make any distinction in him who offends me; + everything in him becomes the object of my anger, the lover and the + husband are alike confounded in its just violence. Both occupy my + thoughts; both are painted in the same colours by my wounded heart. Both + are guilty; both have offended me; and both are odious to me. + </p> + <p> + JUP. Well! Then, since you wish it, I must charge myself with the + offence. Yes, you are right, when you sacrifice me as a guilty victim to + your resentment. Anger towards me sways you; it is but too just, and all + the terrible wrath you show causes me to suffer only lawful torments. It + is right you should shun my presence, and in your anger threaten to flee + from me everywhere. I must be a detestable object to you; you are right + in thinking ill of me. My crime in being offensive in your charming eyes + surpasses every horror; it is a crime that offends men and Gods; in + short, as punishment for my insolence I deserve that your hatred should + vent its utmost upon me. I beg your forgiveness, I beg it upon my knees, + I beg it for the sake of the most lively passion, of the tenderest love + for you, which has ever been kindled in a human breast. If, charming + Alcmene, your heart refuses me the pardon which I have the audacity to + seek, then shall a well-aimed stroke put an end to my life, and release + me from the harsh severity of a penalty which I can no longer bear. Yes, + this state of things drives me to despair. Do not think, Alcmene, that, + enamoured as I am of your celestial charms, I can live a day under your + wrath. Even these moments' agony is barbarously prolonged and my sad + heart sinks under their mortal blows. The cruel wounds of a thousand + vultures are not comparable in any way to my lively grief. Alcmene, you + have but to tell me I need not hope for pardon: and immediately this + sword, by a happy thrust, shall pierce the heart of a miserable wretch + before your eyes. This heart, this traitorous heart, too deserving of + death, since it has offended an adorable being, will be happy if, in + descending into the place of shades, my death appeases your anger, and, + after this wretched day, it leaves in your soul no impression of hatred + in remembering my love! This is all I ask as a sovereign favour. + </p> + <p> + ALC. Ah! Cruel husband. + </p> + <p> + JUP. Speak, Alcmene, speak. + </p> + <p> + ALC. Must I still keep some kindness for you, who insult me by so many + indignities? + </p> + <p> + JUP. Whatever resentment an outrage causes us, can it hold out against + the remorse of a heart deeply in love? + </p> + <p> + ALC. A heart full of passion would rather expose itself to a thousand + deaths, than offend the object beloved. + </p> + <p> + JUP. The more one loves, the easier it is + </p> + <p> + ALC. No, do not speak to me any longer about it; you deserve my hatred. + </p> + <p> + JUP. You hate me then? + </p> + <p> + ALC. I make every effort to do so, and it annoys me to feel that all + your insults do not yet carry my vengeance so far as yield to it. + </p> + <p> + JUP. But why this violence, since I offer to kill myself to satisfy your + revenge? Pronounce the sentence and immediately I will obey. + </p> + <p> + ALC. It is impossible to wish for another's death if hatred be absent. + </p> + <p> + JUP. I cannot live unless you abandon the wrath that overwhelms me, and + unless you grant me the favour of a pardon which I beg at your feet. + Decide to do one or the other quickly: to punish, or to absolve. + </p> + <p> + ALC. Alas! The only resolution I can take is but too clearly apparent. + My heart has too plainly betrayed me, for me to wish to maintain this + anger: is it not to say we pardon, when we say we cannot hate? + </p> + <p> + JUP. Ah, charming Alcmene, overwhelmed with delight I must... + </p> + <p> + ALC. Forbear: I hate myself for such weakness. + </p> + <p> + JUP. Go, Sosie, make haste; a sweet joy fills my soul. See what officers + of the army you can find, and ask them to dine with me. (Softly aside.) + Mercury can fill his post, while he is away from here. + </p> + SCENE VII CLEANTHIS, SOSIE + <p> + SOS. Come! Now, you see, this couple, Cleanthis. Will you follow their + example, and let us also make peace? Indulge in some slight + reconciliation? + </p> + <p> + CLE. For the sake of your lovely mug, Oh yes! I will, and no mistake. + </p> + <p> + SOS. What? You will not? + </p> + <p> + CLE. No. + </p> + <p> + SOS. It doesn't matter to me. So much the worse for you. + </p> + <p> + CLE. Well, well, come back. + </p> + <p> + SOS. No, not, likely! I shall not do anything of the kind, I shall be + angry. I turn now. + </p> + <p> + CLE. Go away, you villain, let me alone; one gets tired now and then of + being an honest woman. + </p> + END OF THE SECOND ACT <a name="link2H_4_0005" id="link2H_4_0005"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ACT III + </h2> + SCENE I AMPHITRYON + <p> + Yes, so doubt fate hides him purposely from me; at last am I tired of + trying to find him. I do not know anything that can be more cruel than + my lot. In spite of all my endeavours, I cannot find him whom I seek; + all those I do not seek I find. A thousand tiresome bores, who do not + think they are so, drive me mad with their congratulations on our feats + of arms, although they know little of me. In the cruel embarrassment and + anxiety that troubles me, they all burden me with their attentions, and + their rejoicings make my uneasiness worse. In vain I try to pass them + by, to flee from their persecutions; their killing friendship stops me + on all sides; whilst I reply to the ardour of their expressions by a nod + of the head, I mutter under my breath a hundred curses on them. Ah! How + little we are flattered by praise, honour and all that a great victory + brings, when inwardly we suffer keen sorrow! How willingly would I + exchange all this glory to have peace of mind! At every turn my jealousy + twits me with my disgrace; the more my mind ponders over it, the less + can I unravel its miserable confusion. The theft of the diamonds does + not astonish me; seals may be tampered with unperceived; but my most + cruel torment is that she insists I gave the gift to her personally + yesterday. Nature oftentimes produces resemblances, which some impostors + have adopted in order to deceive; but it is inconceivable that, under + these appearances, a man should pass himself off as a husband; there are + a thousand differences in a relationship such as this which a wife could + easily detect. The marvellous effects of Thessalian magic have at all + times been renowned; but I have always looked upon as idle tales the + famous stories everyone talks of. It would be a hard fate if I, after so + glorious a victory elsewhere, should be compelled to believe them at the + cost of my own honour. I will question her again upon this wretched + mystery, and see if it is not a silly fancy that has taken advantage of + her disordered brain. O righteous Heaven, may this thought be true, and + may she even have lost her senses, so that I may be happy! + </p> + SCENE II MERCURY, AMPHITRYON + <p> + MERC. Since love does not offer me any pleasure here, I will at least + enjoy myself in another way, and enliven my dismal leisure by putting + Amphitron out of all patience. This may not be very charitable in a God; + but I shall not bother myself about that; my planet tells me I am + somewhat given to malice. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. How is it that the door is closed at this hour? + </p> + <p> + MERC. Hullo! Gently, gently! Who knocks? + </p> + AMPH. I. + <p> + MERC. Who, I? + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Ah! Open. + </p> + <p> + MERC. What do you mean by 'open'? Who are you, pray, to make such a row, + and speak like that? + </p> + <p> + AMPH. So? You do not know me? + </p> + <p> + MERC. No, nor have I the least wish to. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Is every one losing his senses today? Is the malady spreading? + Sosie! Hullo, Sosie! + </p> + <p> + MERC. Come, now! Sosie: that is my name; are you afraid I shall forget + it? + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Do you see me? + </p> + <p> + MERC. Well enough. What can possess your arm to make such an uproar? + What do you want down there? + </p> + <p> + AMPH. I, you gallows-bird! What do I want? + </p> + <p> + MERC. What do you not want then? Speak, if you want to be understood. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Listen, you villain: I will come up with a stick to make you + understand, and give you a fine lesson. How dare you speak to me like + that? + </p> + <p> + MERC. Softly, softly! If you make the least attempt to create an uproar, + I shall send you down some messengers who will annoy you. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Oh Heavens! Did anyone ever conceive such insolence? And from a + servant, from a beggar? + </p> + <p> + MERC. Come, now! What is the matter? Have you gone over everything + correctly? Have your big eyes taken everything in? He glares, so savage + he looks! If looks could bite, he would have torn me to shreds by now. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. I tremble at what you are bringing upon yourself with all this + impudent talk. What a frightful storm you are brewing for yourself! What + a tempest of blows will storm down on your back! + </p> + <p> + MERC. If you do not soon disappear from here, my friend, you may come in + for some mauling. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Ah! You villain, you shall know to your confusion what it is for a + valet to attack his master. + </p> + <p> + MERC. You, my master? + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Yes, rascal. Do you dare to say you do not recognise me? + </p> + <p> + MERC. I do not recognise any other master than Amphitryon. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. And who, besides myself, may this Amphitryon be? + </p> + <p> + MERC. Amphitryon? + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Certainly. + </p> + <p> + MERC. Ah! What an illusion! Come, tell me in what decent tavern you have + addled your brain? + </p> + <p> + AMPH. What? Again? + </p> + <p> + MERC. Was it a feast-day wine? + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Heavens! + </p> + <p> + MERC. Was it old or new? + </p> + <p> + AMPH. What insults! + </p> + <p> + MERC. New goes to one's head, if drunk without water. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Ah! I shall tear your tongue out soon. + </p> + <p> + MERC. Pass on, my dear friend; believe me, no one here will listen to + you. I respect wine. Go away, make yourself scarce, and leave Amphitryon + to the pleasures which he is tasting. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. What! Is Amphitryon in there? + </p> + <p> + MERC. Rather: covered with the laurels of his fine victory, he is side + by side with the lovely Alcmene enjoying the delights of a charming + tete-a-tete. They are tasting the pleasures of being reconciled, now + their love-tiff has blown over. Take care how you disturb their sweet + privacy, unless you wish him to punish you for your excessive rashness. + </p> + SCENE III AMPHITRYON + <p> + Ah! What a frightful blow he has given me! How cruelly has he put me to + confusion! If matters are as this villain says, to what a state are my + honour and my affection reduced? What course can I adopt? Am I to noise + it abroad or keep it secret? Ought I, in my anger, to keep the dishonour + of my house to myself or make it public? Come! Must one even think what + to do in so gross an affront? I have no standing, nothing to hope for; + all my anxiety now shall be how to avenge myself. + </p> + SCENE IV SOSIE, NAUCRATES, POLIDAS, AMPHITRYON + <p> + SOS. All I have been able to do, Monsieur, with all my diligence, is to + have brought these gentlemen here. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Ah! You are here? + </p> + <p> + SOS. Monsieur. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Insolent, bold rascal! + </p> + <p> + SOS. What? + </p> + <p> + AMPH. I shall teach you to treat me thus. + </p> + <p> + SOS. What is it? What is the matter with you? + </p> + <p> + AMPH. What is the matter with me, villain? + </p> + <p> + SOS. Hullo, gentlemen, come here quickly. + </p> + <p> + NAU. Ah! Stay, I beseech you. + </p> + <p> + SOS. Of what am I guilty? + </p> + <p> + AMPH. You ask me that, you scoundrel? Let me satisfy my righteous anger. + </p> + <p> + SOS. When they hang any one, they tell him why they do it. + </p> + <p> + NAU. At least condescend to tell us what his crime may be. + </p> + <p> + SOS. I beseech you, gentlemen, keep a tight hold of me. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Yes! He has just had the audacity to shut the door in my face, and + to add threats to a thousand impudent jeers! Ah! You villain! + </p> + <p> + SOS. I am dead. + </p> + <p> + NAU. Restrain this anger. + </p> + <p> + SOS. Gentlemen. + </p> + <p> + POL. What is it? + </p> + <p> + SOS. Has he struck me? + </p> + <p> + AMPH. No, he must have his reward for the language he has made free to + use just now. + </p> + <p> + SOS. How could that be when I was elsewhere busy carrying out your + orders? These gentlemen here can bear witness that I have just invited + them to dine with you. + </p> + <p> + NAU. That is true: he has just delivered us this message, and would not + quit us. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Who gave you that order? + </p> + <p> + SOS. You. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. When? + </p> + <p> + SOS. After you made your peace, when you were rejoicing at the delight + of having appeased Alcmene's anger. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. O Heaven! Every instant, every step, adds something to my cruel + martyrdom; I am so utterly confused that I no longer know either what to + believe or what to say. + </p> + <p> + NAU. All he has just told us, of what has happened at your house, + surpasses what is natural so much, that before doing anything and before + flying into such a passion, you ought to clear up the whole of this + adventure. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Come; you can second my efforts; Heaven has brought you here most + opportunely. Let me see what fortune brings me today; let me solve this + mystery, and know my fate. Alas! I burn to learn it, and I dread it more + than death. + </p> + SCENE V JUPITER, AMPHITRYON, NAUCRATES, POLIDAS, SOSIE + <p> + JUP. What is this noise that compels me to come down? Who knocks as + though he were master where I am master? + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Good Gods! What do I see? + </p> + <p> + NAU. Heaven! What prodigy is this? What? Here are two Amphitryons! + </p> + <p> + AMPH. My soul is struck dumb. Alas! I cannot do anything more: the + adventure is at an end; my fate is clear; what I see tells me all. + </p> + <p> + NAU. The more narrowly I watch them, the more I find they resemble each + other. + </p> + <p> + SOS. Gentlemen, this is the true one; the other is an impostor who ought + to be chastised. + </p> + <p> + POL. Truly, this marvellous resemblance keeps my judgment in suspense. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. We have been tricked too long by an execrable rogue; I must break + the spell with this steel. + </p> + <p> + NAU. Stay. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Leave me alone. + </p> + <p> + NAU. Ye Gods! What would you do? + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Punish the miserable treachery of an impostor. + </p> + <p> + JUP. Gently, gently! There is very little need of being carried away by + passion; when a man bursts out in such a rage as this, it makes one + think he has bad reasons. + </p> + <p> + SOS. Yes; it is an enchanter, who has a talisman that enables him to + resemble the masters of houses. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. For your share in this insulting language, I shall make you feel a + thousand blows. + </p> + <p> + SOS. My master is a man of courage: he will not allow his followers to + be thrashed. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Let me assuage my deep anger, and wash out my affront in the + scoundrel's blood. + </p> + <p> + NAU. We shall not suffer this strange combat of Amphitryon against + himself. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. What? Does my honour receive this treatment from you? Do my + friends undertake the defence of a rogue? Far from being the first to + take up my vengeance, they themselves place obstacles in the way of my + resentment? + </p> + <p> + NAU. What do you wish us to decide, when two Amphitryons are before us + and all the warmth of our friendship is in suspense? If we were now to + show towards you, we fear we might make a mistake, and not recognise + you. Truly we see in you the appearance of Amphitryon, the glorious + support of the Thebans' well-being; but we also see the same appearance + in him, and we cannot judge which he is. Our duty is not doubtful, the + impostor ought to bite the dust at our hands; but this perfect + resemblance hides him between you two; and it is too hazardous a stroke + to undertake in the dark. Let us find out quietly on which side the + imposture may be; then, as soon as we have unravelled the adventure, it + will not be necessary for you to tell us our duty. + </p> + <p> + JUP. Yes, you are right, this resemblance authorises you to doubt both + of us. I am not offended to see you cannot make up your minds: I am more + reasonable, and excuse you. The eye cannot differentiate between us. I + see one can easily be mistaken. You do not see me give way to anger, nor + draw my sword: that is a bad way to enlighten a mystery; I can find one + more gentle and more certain. One of us is Amphitryon; and both of us + may seem so in your eyes. It is for me to end this confusion. I intend + to make myself so well known to all, that, at the overwhelming proofs I + shall bring forward to show who I am, he himself shall agree concerning + the blood from which I sprang, and he shall no longer have occasion to + say anything. Before all the Thebans I will reveal the truth to you; the + affair is, unquestionably, of sufficient importance to justify my + seeking to clear it up in the sight of all. Alcmene expects this public + testimony from me; her virtue, which is outraged by the noise of this + mischance, demands justification, and I will see justice is done it. My + love for her compels me to it. I shall call together an assembly of the + noblest chiefs, for the explanation her honour requires. While waiting + with you for these desirable witnesses, I pray you to condescend to + honour the table to which Sosie has invited you. + </p> + <p> + SOS. I was not mistaken, gentlemen, this word puts an end to all + irresolution: the real Amphitryon is the Amphitryon who gives dinners. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. O Heaven! Can my humiliation go further? Must I indeed suffer the + martyrdom of listening to all that this impostor has just said to my + face, my arms bound, though his words drive me mad? + </p> + <p> + NAU. You are wrong to complain. Let us await the explanation which shall + render resentment seasonable. I do not know whether he imposes upon us + or not; but he speaks on the matter as though he were right. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Go, you weak-kneed friends, and flatter the imposture. Thebes has + other friends who will flock round me, different from you. I will go and + find some who, sharing the insult, will know how to lend their hand in + my just cause. + </p> + <p> + JUP. Ah well! I await them; I shall know how to decide the discussion in + their presence. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. You rogue, you think perhaps to evade justice thus; but nothing + shall shield you from my vengeance. + </p> + <p> + JUP. I shall not now condescend to answer this insulting language; soon + I shall be able to confound your fury with two words. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Not Heaven, not Heaven itself can protect you: I shall dog your + footsteps even to Hell. + </p> + <p> + JUP. It will not be necessary; you will soon see I shall not fly away. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Now, before he goes away with these, I will make haste to gather + together friends who will aid my cause; they will come to my house and + help me to pierce him with a thousand thrusts. + </p> + <p> + JUP. No ceremony, I implore you; let us go quickly into the house. + </p> + <p> + NAU. Really, this adventure utterly confounds the senses and the reason. + </p> + <p> + SOS. A truce, gentlemen, to all your surprises; let us joyfully sit down + to feed until the morning. I intend to feast well, so that I may be in + good condition to relate our valiant deeds! I am itching to attack the + dishes; I never felt so hungry. + </p> + SCENE VI MERCURY, SOSIE + <p> + MERC. Stop. What have you come to poke your nose in here for, you + impudent turn-spit? + </p> + <p> + SOS. Ah! Gently, gently, for mercy's sake! + </p> + <p> + MERC. Ah! You have come back again! I shall tan your hide for you. + </p> + <p> + SOS. Ah! Brave and generous I, compose yourself, I beseech you. Sosie, + spare Sosie a little, and do not divert yourself by knocking yourself + down. + </p> + <p> + MERC. Who gave you liberty to call yourself by that name? Did I not + expressly forbid you to do so, under penalty of experiencing a thousand + cuts from the cane? + </p> + <p> + SOS. It is a name we both may bear at the same time, under the same + master. I am recognised as Sosie everywhere; I permit you to be he, + permit me to be so, too. Let us leave it to the two Amphitryons to give + vent to their jealousies, and, though they contend, let the two Sosies + live in the bonds of peace. + </p> + <p> + MERC. No, one is quite enough; I am determined not to allow any + division. + </p> + <p> + SOS. You shall have precedence over me; I will be the younger, and you + shall be the elder. + </p> + <p> + MERC. No: a brother is a nuisance, and not to my taste; I intend to be + the only son. + </p> + <p> + SOS. O barbarous and tyrannical heart! Allow me at least to be your + shadow. + </p> + <p> + MERC. Not at all. + </p> + <p> + SOS. Let your soul humanise itself with a little pity! Allow me to be + near you in that capacity: I shall be everywhere so submissive a shadow + that you will be pleased with me. + </p> + <p> + MERC. No quarter; the law is immutable. If you again have the audacity + to go in there, a thousand blows shall be the fruit. + </p> + <p> + SOS. Alas! Poor Sosie, to what miserable disgrace are you reduced! + </p> + <p> + MERC. So? Your lips presume again to give yourself a name I forbid! + </p> + <p> + SOS. No, I did not intend myself; I was speaking of an old Sosie, who + was formerly a relative of mine, and whom, with the utmost barbarity, + they drove out of the house at dinner hour. + </p> + <p> + MERC. Take care you do not fall into that idiocy if you wish to remain + among the number of the living. + </p> + <p> + SOS. How I would thwack you if I had the courage, for your wretched + puffed up pride, you double son of a strumpet! + </p> + <p> + MERC. What do you say? + </p> + <p> + SOS. Nothing. + </p> + <p> + MERC. I am sure you muttered something. + </p> + <p> + SOS. Ask anyone; I do not breathe. + </p> + <p> + MERC. Nevertheless I am absolutely certain that something about a son of + a strumpet struck my ear. + </p> + <p> + SOS. It must have been a parrot roused by the beautiful weather. + </p> + <p> + MERC. Adieu. If your back itches for a currying, here is where I live. + </p> + <p> + SOS. O Heavens! What a cursed hour is the dinner hour to be turned out + of doors! Come, let us yield to fate in our affliction. Let us today + follow blind caprice, and join the unfortunate Sosie to the unfortunate + Amphitryon: it is a suitable union. I see he is coming in good company. + </p> + SCENE VII AMPHITRYON, ARGATIPHONTIDAS, POSICLES, SOSIE + <p> + AMPH. Stay here, gentlemen, follow me a little way off, and do not all + advance, I pray you, until there is need for it. + </p> + <p> + POS. I quite understand this blow touches you to the heart. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Ah! My sorrow is bitter through and through: I suffer in my + affection, as much as in my honour. + </p> + <p> + POS. If this resemblance is such as is said, Alcmene, without being + guilty... + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Ah! In this affair, a simple error becomes a veritable crime, and, + though no way consenting, innocence perishes in it. Such errors, in + whatever way we look at them, affect us in the most sensitive parts; + reason often, often pardons them, when honour and love cannot. + </p> + <p> + ARGAT. I do not bother my thoughts about that; but I hate your gentlemen + for their disgraceful delay; it is a proceeding which wounds me to the + quick, and one which courageous people will never approve. When any man + has need of us, we ought to throw ourselves headforemost into his + concerns. Argatiphontidas is not one for compromising matters. It is not + seemly for men of honour to listen to the arguments of a friend's + adversary; one should only listen to vengeance at such times. The + proceeding does not please me; in quarrels such as these we ought always + to begin sending the sword through the body, without any nonsense. Yes, + whatever happens, you shall see that Argatiphontidas goes straight to + the point. I entreat you not to let the villain die by any other hand + than mine. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Come on. + </p> + <p> + SOS. I come, Monsieur, to undergo at your knees the just punishment of + cursed audacity. Strike, beat, drub, overwhelm me with blows, kill me in + your anger; you will do well, I deserve it; I shall not say a single + word against you. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Get up. What is the matter? + </p> + <p> + SOS. I have been turned away unceremoniously; thinking to eat and + rejoice like them, I did not think that, as it turned out, I was waiting + there to thrash myself. Yes, the other I, valet to the other you, has + played the very devil with me once more. The same cruel fate seems to + pursue us both today, Monsieur. In short, they have un-Sosied me, as + they un-Amphitryon'd you. + </p> + <p> + AMPH. Follow me. + </p> + <p> + SOS. Is it not better to see if anybody is coming? + </p> + SCENE VIII CLEANTHIS, NAUCRATES, POLIDAS, SOSIE, AMPHITRYON, + ARGATIPHONTIDAS, POSICLES + <p> + CLE. O Heaven! + </p> + <p> + AMPH. What frightens you like this? Why are you afraid of me? + </p> + <p> + CLE. Why! You are up there and I see you here! + </p> + <p> + NAU. Do not hurry; here he comes to give, before us all, the explanation + we want. If we may believe what he has just said about it, it will + banish away your trouble and care. + </p> + SCENE IX + <p> + MERCURY, CLEANTHIS, NAUCRATES, POLIDAS, SOSIE, AMPHITRYON, + ARGATIPHONTIDAS, POSICLES + </p> + <p> + MERC. Yes, you shall all see him; know beforehand that it is the grand + master of the Gods, whom, under the cherished features of this + resemblance, Alcmene has caused to descend here from the heavens. As for + me, I am Mercury. Not knowing what else to do, I have given him a + drubbing whose appearance I took. He may now console himself, for + strokes from the wand of a God confer honour on him who has to submit to + them. + </p> + <p> + SOS. Upon my word, Monsieur God, I am your servant; I could have done + without your attentions. + </p> + <p> + MERC. I now give you leave to be Sosie. I am tired of wearing such an + ugly mug; I am going to the heavens, to scrape it all off with ambrosia. + (He flies away to the skies.) + </p> + <p> + SOS. May Heaven forever keep you from the desire of wishing to come near + me again! Your fury against me has been too bitter; never in my life + have I seen a God who was more of a devil than you! + </p> + SCENE X + <p> + JUPITER, CLEANTHIS, NAUCRATES, POLIDAS, SOSIE, AMPHITRYON, + ARGATIPHONTIDAS, POSICLES + </p> + <p> + JUP. (In a cloud,) Behold, Amphitryon, who has imposed on you; under his + own aspect you see Jupiter. By these signs you may easily know him; they + are sufficient, I think, to restore your heart where it should be to + bring back peace and happiness to your family. My name, which the whole + earth continually adores, thus stifles all scandal that might be spread + abroad. A share with Jupiter has nothing that in the least dishonours, + for doubtless, it can be but glorious to find one's self the rival of + the sovereign of the Gods. I do not see any reason why your love should + murmur; it is I, God as I am, who ought to be jealous in this affair. + Alcmene is wholly yours, whatever means one may employ; it must be + gratifying to your passion to see that there is no other way of pleasing + her than to appear as her husband. Even Jupiter, clothed in his immortal + glory, could not by himself undermine her fidelity; what he has received + from her was granted by her ardent heart only to you. + </p> + <p> + SOS. The Seigneur Jupiter knows how to gild the pill. + </p> + <p> + JUP. Cast aside, therefore, the black care that stifles your heart; + restore perfect peace to the ardour which consumes you. In your house + shall be born a son, who, under the name of Hercules, shall cause the + vast universe to ring with his deeds. A glorious future crowned with a + thousand blessings shall let every one see I am your support; I will + make your fate the envy of the whole world. You may boldly flatter + yourself with what these promises confer. It is a crime to doubt them, + for the words of Jupiter are the decrees of fate. (He is lost in the + clouds.) + </p> + <p> + NAU. Truly, I am delighted at these evident marks... + </p> + <p> + SOS. Gentlemen, will you please take my advice? Do not embark in these + sugary congratulations; it is a bad speculation; phrases are + embarrassing on either side, in such a compliment. The great God Jupiter + has done us much honour, and, unquestionably, his kindness towards us is + unparalleled; he promises us the infallible happiness of a fortune + crowned with a thousand blessings, and in our house shall be born a + brave son. Nothing could be better than this. But, nevertheless, let us + cut short our speeches, and each one retire quietly to his own house. In + such affairs as these, it is always best not to say anything. + </p> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Amphitryon, by Moliere + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AMPHITRYON *** + +***** This file should be named 2536-h.htm or 2536-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/5/3/2536/ + +Produced by Bob Colomb, and David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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Waller + +Posting Date: December 6, 2008 [EBook #2536] +Release Date: February, 2001 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AMPHITRYON *** + + + + +Produced by Bob Colomb + + + + + +AMPHITRYON + +A play + + +By Moliere + + +Translated by A.R. Waller + + +Amphitryon was played for the first time in Paris, at the Theatre du +Palais-Royal, January 13, 1668. It was successfully received, holding +the boards until the 18th of March, when Easter intervened. After the +re-opening of the theatre, it was played half a dozen times more the +same year, and continued to please. + +The first edition was published in 1668. + +Note: It is perhaps hardly necessary to refer the reader to Amphitryon, +by Plautus, the comedy upon which Moliere's charming play was, in +the main, based. The rendering attempted here can give but a faint +reflection of the original, for hardly any comedy of Moliere's loses +more in the process of translation. + + + + +AMPHITRYON + + + + +PROLOGUE + + +MERCURY, on a cloud; NIGHT, in a chariot drawn by two horses + +MERC. Wait! Gentle Night; deign to stay awhile: Some help is needed from +you. I have two words to say to you from Jupiter. + +NIGHT. Ah! Ah! It is you, Seigneur Mercury! Who would have thought of +you here, in that position? + +MERC. Well, feeling tired, and not being able to fulfil the different +duties Jupiter ordered me, I quietly sat down on this cloud to await +your coming. + +NIGHT. You jest, Mercury: you do not mean it; does it become the Gods to +say they are tired? + +MERC. Are the Gods made of iron? + +NIGHT. No; but one must always have a care for divine decorum. There are +certain words the use of which debases this sublime quality, and it is +meet that these should be left to men, because they are unworthy. + +MERC. You speak at your ease, fair lady, from a swiftly rolling chariot, +in which, like a dame free from care; you are drawn by two fine horses +wherever you like. But it is not the same with me. Such is my miserable +fate that I cannot bear the poets too great a grudge for their gross +impertinence in having, by an unjust law, which they wish to retain in +force, given a separate conveyance to each God, for his own use, and +left me to go on foot: me, like a village messenger, though, as everyone +knows, I am the famous messenger of the sovereign of the Gods, on the +earth and in the heavens. Without any exaggeration, I need more than any +one else the means of being carried about, because of all the duties he +puts upon me. + +NIGHT. What can one do? The poets do what pleases them. It is not the +only stupidity we have detected in these gentlemen. But surely your +irritation against them is wrong, for the wings at your feet are a +friendly gift of theirs. + +MERC. Yes; but does going more quickly tire oneself less? + +NIGHT. Let us leave the matter, Seigneur Mercury, and learn what is +wanted. + +MERC. Jupiter, as I have told you, wishes the dark aid of your cloak for +a certain gallant adventure, which a new love affair has furnished +him. His custom is not new to you, I believe: often does he neglect the +heavens for the earth; and you are not ignorant that this master of +the Gods loves to take upon himself the guise of man to woo earthly +beauties. He knows a hundred ingenious tricks to entrap the most +obdurate. He has felt the darts of Alcmene's eyes; and, whilst +Amphitryon, her husband, commands the Theban troops on the plains of +Boeotia, Jupiter has taken his form, and assuaged his pains, in the +possession of the sweetest of pleasures. The condition of the couple is +propitious to his desire: Hymen joined them only a few days ago; and the +young warmth of their tender love suggested to Jupiter to have recourse +to this fine artifice. His stratagem proved successful in this case; but +with many a cherished object a similar disguise would not be of any +use: it is not always a sure means of pleasing, to adopt the form, of a +husband. + +NIGHT. I admire Jupiter, and I cannot imagine all the disguises which +come into his head. + +MERC. By these means he wishes to taste all sorts of conditions: that +is the act of a God who is not a fool. However mortals may regard him, +I should think very meanly of him if he never quitted his redoubtable +mien, and were always in the heavens, standing upon his dignity. In my +opinion, there is nothing more idiotic than always to be imprisoned in +one's grandeur; above all, a lofty rank becomes very inconvenient in +the transports of amorous ardour. Jupiter, no doubt, is a connoisseur +in pleasure, and he knows how to descend from the height of his supreme +glory. So that he can enter into everything that pleases him, he +entirely casts aside himself, and then it is no longer Jupiter who +appears. + +NIGHT. I could overlook seeing him step down from his sublime stage +to that of men, since he wishes to enter into all the transports which +their natures can supply, and join in their jests, if, in the changes +which take his fancy, he would confine himself to nature. But I do not +think it fitting to see Jupiter as a bull, a serpent, a swan, or what +not, and it does not astonish me that it is sometimes talked about. + +MERC. Let all the busybodies talk; such changes have their own charms +and surpass people's understanding. The God knows what he does in this +affair as in everything else: in the movements of their tender passions, +animals are not so loutish as one might think. + +NIGHT. Let us return to the lady whose favours he enjoys. If, by his +stratagem, his pursuit is successful, what more can he wish? What can I +do? + +MERC. He wishes that you would slacken the pace of your horses, to +satisfy the passion of his amorous heart, and so make of a delightful +night the longest night of all; that you would give him more time for +his transports, and retard the birth of day since it will hasten the +return of him whose place he occupies. + +NIGHT. Really the employment which the great Jupiter reserves for me +is a worthy one! The service he requires of me passes under a very +respectable name. + +MERC. You are somewhat old-fashioned for a young goddess! Such an +employment is not debasing except among people of mean birth. When +one has the happiness of belonging to lofty rank, whatever one does is +always right and good; things change their names to suit what one may +be. + +NIGHT. You know more about such matters than I do; I will trust to your +enlightened views and accept this employment. + +MERC. Come, come, now, Madam Night, a little gently, I beseech you. The +world gives you the reputation of not being so scrupulous. In a hundred +different climes you are made the confidant of many gallant adventures; +and, if I may speak candidly, we do not owe each other anything. + +NIGHT. Let us cease these reproaches and remain what we are. Let us not +give men cause to laugh by telling each other the truth. + +MERC. Adieu. I am going there to play my part in this business, promptly +to strip myself of the form of Mercury and to take in its place the +figure of Amphitryon's valet. + +NIGHT. I am going to keep station in this hemisphere with my sombre +train. + +MERC. Good day, Night. + +NIGHT. Adieu, Mercury. + +(Mercury descends from his cloud to the earth, and Night goes away in +her chariot.) + +END OF THE PROLOGUE. + + + + +ACT I + + + +SCENE I + +SOSIE + +Who goes there? Eh? My fear grows with every step. Gentlemen, I am a +friend to all the world. Ah! What unparalleled boldness, to be out at +this hour! My master is crowned with fame, but what a villainous trick +he plays me here! What? If he had any love for his neighbour, would he +have sent me out in such a black night? Could he not just as well have +waited until it was day before sending me to announce his return and the +details of his victory? To what servitude are thy days subjected, Sosie! +Our lot is far more hard with the great than with the mean. They insist +that everything in nature should be compelled to sacrifice itself for +them. Night and day, hail, wind, peril, heat, cold, as soon as they +speak we must fly. Twenty years of assiduous service do not gain us any +consideration from them. The least little whim draws down upon us their +anger. + +Notwithstanding this, our infatuated hearts cling to the empty honour +of remaining near them, contented with the false idea, which every one +holds, that we are happy. In vain reason bids us retire; in vain our +spite sometimes consents to this; to be near them is too powerful +an influence on our zeal, and the least favour of a caressing glance +immediately re-engages us. But at last, I see our house through the +darkness, and my fear vanishes. + +I must prepare some thought-out speech for my mission. I must give +Alcmene warlike description of the fierce combat which put our enemies +to flight. But how the deuce can I do this since I was not there? Never +mind; let us talk of cut and thrust, as though I were an eyewitness. How +many people describe battles from which they remained far away! In order +to act my part without discredit, I will rehearse it a little. + +This is the chamber into which I am ushered as the messenger: this +lantern is Alcmene, to whom I have to speak. (He sets his lantern on +the ground and salutes it.) 'Madam, Amphitryon, my master and your +husband,... (Good! that is a fine beginning!) whose mind is ever full +of your charms, has chosen me from amongst all to bring tidings of the +success of his arms, and of his desire to be near you.' 'Ah! Really, my +poor Sosie, I am delighted to see you back again.' 'Madam, you do me too +much honour: my lot is an enviable one.' (Well answered!) + +'How is Amphitryon?' 'Madam, as a man of courage should be, when glory +leads him.' (Very good! A capital idea!) 'When will my heart be charmed +and satisfied by his return?' 'As soon as possible, assuredly, Madam, +but his heart desires a speedier return.' (Ah!) 'In what state has the +war left him? What says he? What does he? Ease my anxiety.' He says less +than he does, Madam, and makes his enemies tremble.' (Plague! where do I +get all these fine speeches?) 'What are the rebels doing? Tell me, what +is their condition?' 'They could not resist our efforts, Madam; we cut +them to pieces, put their chief, Pterelas, to death, took Telebos by +assault; and now the port rings with our prowess.' 'Ah! What a success! +Ye Gods! Who could ever have imagined it? Tell me, Sosie, how it +happened.' 'I will, gladly, Madam; and, without boasting, I can tell +you, with the greatest accuracy, the details of this victory. Imagine, +therefore, Madam, that Telebos is on this side. (He marks the places +on his hand, or on the ground.) It is a city really almost as large as +Thebes. The river is, say, there. Here, our people encamped; and that +space was occupied by our enemies. On a height, somewhere about here, +was their infantry; and, lower down, on the right side, was their +cavalry. After having addressed prayers to the Gods, and issued all the +orders, the signal was given. The enemy, thinking to turn our flank, +divided their horse soldiers into three platoons; but we soon chilled +their warmth, and you shall see how. Here is our vanguard ready to begin +work; there, were the archers of our king, Creon; and here, the main +army (some one makes a slight noise), which was just going to... Stay; +the main body is afraid'; I think I hear some noise. + + + +SCENE II + +MERCURY, SOSIE + +MERC. (Under the form of Sosie.) Under this mask which resembles him, +I will drive away the babbler from here. His unfortunate arrival may +disturb the pleasures our lovers are tasting together. + +SOS. My heart revives a little; perhaps it was nothing. Lest +anything untoward should happen, however, I will go in to finish the +conversation. + +MERC. I shall prevent your doing that unless you are stronger than +Mercury. + +SOS. This night seems to me unusually long. By the time I have been +on the way, either my master has taken evening for morning, or lovely +Phoebus slumbers too long in bed through having taken too much wine. + +MERC. With what irreverence this lubber speaks of the Gods! My arm +shall soon chastise this insolence; I shall have a fine game with him, +stealing his name as well as his likeness. + +SOS. Ah! upon my word, I was right: I am done for, miserable creature +that I am! I see a man before our house whose mien bodes me no good. I +will sing a little to show some semblance of assurance. + +(He sings; and, when Mercury speaks, his voice weakens, little by +little.) + +MERC. What rascal is this, who takes the unwarrantable licence of +singing and deafening me like this? Does he wish me to curry his coat +for him? + +SOS. Assuredly that fellow does not like music. + +MERC. For more than a week, I have not found any one whose bones I could +break; my arm will lose its strength in this idleness. I must look out +for some one's back to get my wind again. + +SOS. What the deuce of a fellow is this? My heart thrills with clutching +fear. But why should I tremble thus? Perhaps the rogue is as much afraid +as I am, and talks in this way to hide his fear from me under a feigned +audacity. Yes, yes, I will not allow him to think me a goose. If I am +not bold, I will try to appear so. Let me seek courage by reason; he is +alone, even as I am; I am strong, I have a good master, and there is our +house. + +MERC. Who goes there? + +SOS. I. + +MERC. Who, I? + +SOS. I. Courage, Sosie! + +MERC. Tell me, what is your condition? + +SOS. To be a man, and to speak. + +MERC. Are you a master, or a servant? + +SOS. As fancy takes me. + +MERC. Where are you going? + +SOS. Where I intend to go. + +MERC. Ah! This annoys me. + +SOS. I am ravished to hear it. + +MERC. By hook or by crook, I must definitely know all about you, you +wretch; what you do, whence you come before the day breaks, where you +are going, and who you may be. + +SOS. I do good and ill by turns; I come from there; I go there; I belong +to my master. + +MERC. You show wit, and I see you think to play the man of importance +for my edification. I feel inclined to make your acquaintance by +slapping your face. + +SOS. Mine? + +MERC. Yours; and there you get it, sharp. (Mercury gives him a slap.) + +SOS. Ah! Ah! This is a fine game! + +MERC. No; it is only a laughing matter, a reply to your quips. + +SOS. Good heavens! Friend, how you swing out your arm without any one +saying anything to you. + +MERC. These are my lightest clouts, little ordinary smacks. + +SOS. If I were as hasty as you, we should have a fine ado. + +MERC. All this is nothing as yet: it is merely to fill up time; we shall +soon see something else; but let us continue our conversation. + +SOS. I give up the game. (He turns to go away.) + +MERC. Where are you going? + +SOS. What does it matter to you? + +MERC. I want to know where you are going. + +SOS. I am going to open that door. Why do you detain me? + +MERC. If you dare to go near it, I shall rain down a storm of blows on +you. + +SOS. What? You wish to hinder me from entering our own house by threats? + +MERC. What do you say, your house? + +SOS. Yes, our house. + +MERC. O, the scoundrel! You speak of that house? + +SOS. Certainly. Is not Amphitryon the master of it? + +MERC. Well! What does that prove? + +SOS. I am his valet. + +MERC. You? + +SOS. I. + +MERC. His valet? + +SOS. Unquestionably. + +MERC. Valet of Amphitryon? + +SOS. Of Amphitryon himself. + +MERC. Your name is? + +SOS. Sosie. + +MERC. Eh? What? + +SOS. Sosie. + +MERC. Listen: do you realise that my fist can knock you spinning? + +SOS. Why? What fury has seized you now? + +MERC. Tell me, who made you so rash as to take the name of Sosie? + +SOS. I do not take it; I have always borne it. + +MERC. O what a monstrous lie! What confounded impudence! You dare to +maintain that Sosie is your name? + +SOS. Certainly; I maintain it, for the good reason that the Gods have so +ordered it by their supreme power. It is not in my power to say no, and +to be any one else than myself. + +(Mercury beats him.) MERC. A thousand stripes ought to be the reward of +such audacity. + +SOS. Justice, citizens! Help! I beseech you. + +MERC. So, you gallows-bird, you yell out? + +SOS. You beat me down with a thousand blows, and yet do not wish me to +cry out? + +MERC. It is thus that my arm... + +SOS. The action is unworthy. You gloat over the advantage which my want +of courage gives you over me; that is not fair treatment. It is mere +bullying to wish to profit by the poltroonery of those whom one makes to +feel the weight of one's arm. To thrash a man who does not retaliate is +not the act of a generous soul; and to show courage against men who have +none merits condemnation. + +MERC. Well! Are you still Sosie? What say you? + +SOS. Your blows have not made any metamorphosis in me; all the change +there is is that in the matter I am Sosie thrashed. + +MERC. Still? A hundred fresh blows for this fresh impudence. + +SOS. Have mercy, a truce to your blows. + +MERC. Then a truce to your insolence. + +SOS. Anything that pleases you; I will keep silence. The dispute between +us is too unequal. + +MERC. Are you still Sosie? Say, villain! + +SOS. Alas! I am what you wish; dispose of my lot exactly as you please: +your arm 'has made you the master of it. + +MERC. I think you said your name was Sosie? + +SOS. True, until now I thought the matter was clear; but your rod has +made me see that I was mistaken in this affair. + +MERC. I am Sosie: all Thebes avows it. Amphitryon has never had other +than me. + +SOS. You, Sosie? + +MERC. Yes, Sosie; and if any one trifles with me, he must take care of +himself. + +SOS. Heavens! Must I thus renounce myself, and see my name stolen by an +impostor. How lucky I am a poltroon! Or, by the death...! + +MERC. What are you mumbling between your teeth? + +SOS. Nothing. But, in the name of the Gods, give me leave to speak one +moment with you. + +MERC. Speak. + +SOS. But promise me, I beseech you, that there shall not be any more +strokes. Let us sign a truce. + +MERC. Let that pass; go on, I grant you this point. + +SOS. Tell me, who put this fancy into your head? What benefit will it be +to you to take my name? In short, were you a demon, could you hinder me +from being myself, from being Sosie? + +MERC. What is this, you dare... + +SOS. Ah! Gently: there is a truce to blows. + +MERC. What! Gallows-bird, impostor, scoundrel... + +SOS. As for abuse, give me as much as you please; it makes but a slight +wound and does not bother me. + +MERC. You say you are Sosie? + +SOS. Yes. Some ridiculous tale... + +MERC. So, I shall break our truce, and take back my word. + +SOS. I can't help it. I cannot annihilate myself for you, and endure so +improbable a tale. Is it in your power to be what I am? Can I cease to +be myself? Did any one ever hear of such a thing? And can you give the +lie to a hundred clear indications? Do I dream? Do I sleep? Is my mind +troubled by powerful transports? Do I not feel I am awake? Am I not in +my right senses? Has not my master, Amphitryon, commanded me to come +here to Alcmene his wife? Am I not, in commending his passion to her, +to give her an account of his deeds against our enemies? Have I not just +come from the harbour? Do I not hold a lantern in my hand? Have I not +found you in front of our house? Did I not speak to you in a perfectly +friendly manner? Do you not make use of my poltroonery to hinder me from +entering our house? Have you not vented your rage upon my back? Have you +not showered blows on me? Ah! All this is but too true: would to Heaven +it were less real! Cease therefore to jeer at a wretch's lot, and leave +me to acquit myself where my duty calls me. + +MERC. Stop, or the shortest step brings down upon your back clattering +evidence of my just anger. All you have just said is mine, except the +blows. It is I, whom Amphitryon sent to Alcmene; who has just arrived +from the Persian port; I, who have come to announce the valour of his +arm, which has gained us a glorious victory, and slain the chief of +our enemies. In short, I am undoubtedly Sosie, son of Dave, an honest +shepherd; brother of Arpage, who died in a foreign land; husband of +Cleanthis the prude, whose temper drives me wild; I, who received a +thousand cuts from a whip at Thebes, without ever saying anything about +it; and who was once publicly branded on the back for being too worthy a +man. + +SOS. He is right. If he were not Sosie, he could not know all he says; +all this is so astounding that even I begin to believe him a little. In +fact, now I look at him, I see he has my figure, looks, and manners. I +wilt ask him some question, in order to clear up this mystery. What +did Amphitryon obtain as his share of all the plunder taken from our +enemies? + +MERC. Five fine large diamonds, beautifully set in a cluster, which +their chief wore as a rare piece of handicraft. + +SOS. For whom does he intend so rich a present? + +MERC. For his wife; he intends her to wear it. + +SOS. Where have you put it, until you meet her? + +MERC. In a casket sealed with the arms of my master. + +SOS. He does not tell a single lie at any turn: I begin to doubt myself +in earnest. He has already cowed me into believing him to be Sosie; and +he might even reason me into thinking him so. Yet, when I touch myself, +and recollect, it seems to me I am myself. Where can I find some light +that will clearly make my way plain? What I have done alone, and what no +one has seen, cannot be known to any one else: that, at least, belongs +to me. I will astonish him by this question: it will confound him, and +we shall see. When they were at close quarters, what were you doing in +our tents, whither you ran to hide yourself away? + +MERC. Off a ham + +SOS. That is it! + +MERC. Which I unearthed, I soon cut two succulent slices: they suited me +nicely. I added to them a wine which was usually kept dark, and, +gloated over the sight of it before I tasted it. So I took heart for our +fighters. + +SOS. This unparalleled proof ends matters well in his favour; and, +unless he were in the bottle, there is nothing to be said. From the +proofs you show me, I cannot deny that you are Sosie: I admit it. But, +if you are he, tell me whom you wish me to be; for I must be someone. + +MERC. When I shall no longer be Sosie, you may be he, I consent to that; +but I promise you it shall be the death of you if you take up such a +fancy while I am he. + +SOS. All this confusion turns me inside out, for reason is against what +I see. But I must end this by some means; and the shortest way for me is +to go in there. + +MERC. Oh! You gallows-bird, you want to taste the stick. + +SOS. What is the matter? Great Gods! He makes the blows ring again; my +back will ache for a month. I will leave this devil of a fellow, and +return to the harbour. O just Heavens, what a fine ambassador I have +been! + +MERC. At last, I have made him fly; this treatment has paid him out for +many of his deeds. But here is Jupiter, gallantly escorting his lover +Alcmene. + + + +SCENE III + +JUPITER, ALCMENE, CLEANTHIS, MERCURY + +JUP. My dear Alcmene, forbid the torch-bearers to come near. They give +me delight in enabling me to see you; but they might betray my being +here, and this were best unrevealed. Restrained by all the heavy cares +with which the glory of our arms held me bound, my heart has stolen from +the duties of my post the moments it has just given to your charms. This +theft, which I have consecrated to your beauty, might be blamed by the +public voice; and the only witness I want, is she who can thank me for +it. + +ALC. I take great interest, Amphitryon, in the glory which your +illustrious exploits have cast upon you; the fame of your victory moves +my heart to its depths. But when I see that this disastrous honour keeps +my lover away from me, such is my heart's feeling that I cannot forbear +to think ill of it, and to regret the high order which makes you general +of the Thebans. It is sweet after a victory to see the glory to which +one's lover has been raised; but, from among the perils attached to this +glory, a deadly blow, alas! may soon fall. With how many fears is one's +heart wounded at the report of the least skirmish! In the horror of such +a thought, is there anything that can console for the threatened stroke? +And with whatever laurels the victor may be crowned, whatever share +one may have in that supreme honour, is it worth what it costs a tender +heart, which trembles every moment for its lover? + +JUP. I do not see anything in you but what inflames my passion; +everything shows me a deeply enamoured heart; and, I confess, it is a +great delight to find so much love in a beloved object. But, if I may +dare say so, one scruple in the tender sentiments which you show me +causes me anxiety; and, in order to enjoy you the more, dear Alcmene, my +heart would rather see love only, and not duty, in the favours which I +receive from you; may they arise solely from affection, and have respect +to my person only; let not my condition as your husband be the reason +for them. + +ALC. Yet it is in that name that the ardour which burns me holds +the right to show itself: I do not understand this new scruple which +troubles your heart. + +JUP. The love and tenderness which I have for you far exceeds a +husband's; in these sweet moments, you do not realise its delicacy; You +do not understand that a heart deeply in love studiously attaches itself +to a hundred little trifles, and is restless over the manner of being +happy. In me, fair and charming Alcmene, you see a lover and a husband; +but, to speak frankly, it is the lover that appeals to me; when near +you, I feel the husband restrains him. This lover, who is supremely +jealous of your love, wishes your heart to abandon itself solely to him: +his passion does not wish anything the husband gives him. He wishes to +obtain the warmth of your love from the fountain-head, and not to owe +anything to the bonds of wedlock, or to a duty which palls and makes the +heart sad, for by these the sweetness of the most cherished favours +is daily poisoned. This idea, in short, tosses him to and fro, and he +wishes, in order to satisfy his scruples, that you would differentiate +where the occasion offends him, the husband to be only for your virtue, +and the lover to have the whole affection and tenderness of a heart +known to be full of kindness. + +ALC. In truth, Amphitryon, you must be jesting, to talk thus; I should +be afraid anyone who heard you would think you were not sane. + +JUP. There is more reason in this discourse, Alcmene, than you think. +But a longer stay here would render me guilty, and time presses for my +return to port. Adieu. The stern call of duty tears me away from you +for a time; but, lovely Alcmene, I beseech you at least to think of the +lover when you see the husband. + +ALC. I do not separate what the Gods unite: both husband and lover are +very precious to me. + +CLE. O Heaven! How delightful are the caresses of an ardently cherished +husband! How far my poor husband is from all this tenderness! + +MERC. I must tell Night she has but to furl all her sails; the Sun may +now arise from his bed and put out the stars. + + + +SCENE IV + +CLEANTHIS, MERCURY (Mercury turns to go away) + +CLE. So? Is it thus you quit me? + +MERC. What would you have? Do you wish me not to do my duty, and follow +in Amphitryon's footsteps? + +CLE. To separate from me so rudely as this, you villain! + +MERC. It is a fine subject to make a fuss about! We have still plenty of +time to live together! + +CLE. But to go in such a churlish manner, without saying a single kind +word to cheer me! + +MERC. Where the deuce shall I dig up silly compliments? Fifteen years of +married life exhaust nonsense; we said all we had to say to each other a +long time ago. + +CLE. Look at Amphitryon, you rascal; see how his ardour burns for +Alcmene; and then blush for the little passion that you show your wife. + +MERC. But, gracious me! Cleanthis, they are still lovers. There comes +a certain age when all this passes away; what suits them well in these +early days would look ridiculous in us, old married people. It would be +it fine sight to see us embracing each other, and saying sweet nothings! + +CLE. Oh! You perfidious wretch, must I give up hope that a heart sighs +for me? + +MERC. No, I should be sorry to say that; but I have too long a beard to +dare to sigh; I should make you die of laughter. + +CLE. You brute, do you deserve the good fortune of having a virtuous +woman for your wife? + +MERC. Good Heavens! You are but too virtuous; this fine virtue is not +worth anything to me. Do not be quite so honest a woman, and don't +bother me so much. + +CLE. What? Do you blame me for being too honest? + +MERC. A woman's gentleness is what charms me most: your virtue makes a +clatter that never ceases to deafen me. + +CLE. You care for hearts full of false tenderness, for those women with +the laudable and fine talent of knowing how to smother their husbands +with caresses in order to make them oblivious of the existence of +lovers. + +MERC. Well! Shall I tell you what I think? An imaginary evil concerns +fools only; my device should be: 'Less honour and more peace.' + +CLE. Would you, without any repugnance, suffer me openly to love a +gallant? + +MERC. Yes, if I were no longer worried by your tongue, and if it +changed your temper and your goings-on. I prefer a convenient vice, to +a fatiguing virtue. Adieu, Cleanthis, my dear soul; I must follow +Amphitryon. (He goes away.) + +CLE Why has not my heart sufficient resolution to punish this infamous +scoundrel? Ah, how it maddens me, now, that I am an honest woman! + +END OF THE FIRST ACT + + + + +ACT II + + + +SCENE I + +AMPHITRYON, SOSIE + +AMPH. Come here, you rascal, come here. Do you know, Master Villain, +that your talk is sufficient to cause me to knock you down, and that my +wrath waits only for a stick to thrash you as I intend? + +SOS. If you take it in that way, Monsieur, I have nothing more to say; +you will be always in the right. + +AMPH. So? You scoundrel, you wish to impose upon me as truths tales +which I know to be extravagantly far-fetched? + +SOS. No; I am the servant, and you are the master; it shall not be +otherwise than you wish it, Monsieur. + +AMPH. Come, I will choke down the anger that inflames me, and hear all +you have to say about your mission. I must unravel this confusion before +I see my wife. Collect your senses, think well over what you say, and +answer each question word for word. + +SOS. But, lest I make a mistake, tell me, I beseech you, beforehand, in +what way it would please you to have this affair healed. Shall I speak, +Monsieur, according to my conscience, or as usual when near the great? +Shall I tell the truth or use a certain complaisance? + +AMPH. No; I only wish you to give me a perfectly unvarnished account. + +SOS. Good. That is enough; leave it to me; you have, but to interrogate +me. + +AMPH. Upon the order which I lately gave you... + +SOS. I set forth under skies veiled in black crape, swearing bitterly +against you for this wretched martyrdom, and cursing twenty times the +order of which you speak. + +AMPH. What do you mean, you villain? + +SOS. You have only to speak, Monsieur, and I shall lie, if you desire +it. + +AMPH. That is how a valet shows his zeal for us. Never mind. What +happened to you on the way? + +SOS. I had a mortal fright at the least thing I met. + +AMPH. Poltroon! + +SOS. Nature has her caprices in forming us; she gives us differing +inclinations; some find a thousand delights in exposing themselves; I +find them in taking care of myself. + +AMPH. When you arrived at the house...? + +SOS. When I reached the door, I wished to rehearse to myself for a short +time, in what tone and in what manner I should give a glorious account +of the battle. + +AMPH. What followed? + +SOS. Some one came to annoy and trouble me. + +AMPH. Who was he? + +SOS. Sosie; another I, jealous of your orders, whom you sent to Alcmene +from the port, and who has as full knowledge of our secrets as I who am +speaking to you. + +AMPH. What nonsense! + +SOS. No, Monsieur, it is the simple truth: this I was at your house +sooner than I; and, I swear to you, I was there before I had arrived. + +AMPH. Pray, where does all this cursed nonsense come from? Is it a +dream? Is it drunkenness? Mind-wandering? Or a sorry joke? + +SOS. No, it is the thing as it is, and by no means an idle tale. I am +a man of honour, I give you my word, and you must please believe it. +I tell you, believing I was but one Sosie, I found myself two at your +house; and of these two I's, piqued with jealousy, one is at the house, +and the other is with you; the I who is here, tired out, found the other +I fresh, jolly and active, having no other anxiety than to fight and +break bones. + +AMPH. I confess I must be of a very placid temper, very peaceable, very +gentle, to permit a valet to entertain me with such nonsense! + +SOS. If you become angry, no more conference between us: you know all +will be over at once. + +AMPH. No; I will listen to you without being carried away; I promised +it. But tell me in good earnest, is there any shadow of likelihood in +this new mystery which you have just told me? + +SOS. No; you are right, the matter must appear to everyone past credit. +It is a fact past understanding, an extravagant, ridiculous, far-fetched +tale: it shocks common sense; but it is none the less a fact. + +AMPH. How can anyone believe it, unless he has taken leave of his +senses? + +SOS. I myself did not believe it without extreme difficulty: I thought +I was losing my senses when I saw myself two, and, for a long time, I +treated my other self as an impostor: but he compelled me in the end +to recognise myself; I saw it was I, without any trickery; from head to +foot he is like me-handsome, a noble air, well built, charming manners; +in fact, two peas do not resemble each other more; were it not that his +hands are a little too heavy, I should be perfectly satisfied. + +AMPH. I had need exhort myself to patience! But did you not in the end +go into the house? + +SOS. Good, go in! Ah! In what fashion? Have I never wished to listen to +reason? Did I not forbid myself to enter our door? + +AMPH. In what way? + +SOS. With a stick, my back still aches from it. + +AMPH. You have been thrashed? + +SOS. Truly. + +AMPH. And by whom? + +SOS. Myself. + +AMPH. You have thrashed yourself? + +SOS. Yes, I; not the I who is here, but the I from the house, who whacks +soundly. + +AMPH. Heaven confound you for talking to me like this! + +SOS. I am not joking; the I whom I have just met has great advantages +over the I who speaks to you. He has a strong arm and great courage; I +have had proofs of both; this devil of an I has licked me soundly; he is +a fellow who can do wonders. + +AMPH. Let us, cease this. Have you seen my wife? + +SOS. No. + +AMPH. Why not? + +SOS. For a sufficiently strong reason. + +AMPH. Who hindered you, scoundrel? Explain yourself. + +SOS. Must I repeat the same thing twenty times? I, I tell you, this I +who is more robust than I, this I who took possession of the door by +force, this I who made me slope off, this I who wishes to be the only I, +this I who is jealous of myself, this valiant I, whose anger made itself +known to this poltroon of an I, in fact, this I who is at our house, +this I who has shown himself to be my master, this I who has racked me +with pain. + +AMPH. His brain must be addled by having had too much to drink this +morning. + +SOS. May I be hanged if I have had anything to drink but water: I take +my oath on it. + +AMPH. Then your senses must have been fast asleep: some silly dream has +shown you all these fairy tales and confused mysteries which you wish me +to take for truths. + +SOS. That is just as far away from the truth. I have not slept, and I do +not even feel inclined that way. I am speaking to you wide-awake; I +was wide awake this morning, upon my life! And the other Sosie was also +wide-awake, when he drubbed me so well. + +AMPH. Follow me; I order you to be silent. You tire my brain too much; +I must be an out-and-out fool to have the patience to listen to the +nonsense a valet has to say. + +SOS. All talk is nonsense that comes from a man who is unknown. If a +great man were to say it, it would be exquisite language. + +AMPH. Let us go in without waiting any longer. But here comes Alcmene +clothed in all her charms. Doubtless she does not expect me so soon, and +my arrival will surprise her. + + + +SCENE II + +ALCMENE, CLEANTHIS, AMPHITRYON, SOSIE + +ALC. Come, Cleanthis, let us attend the Gods, pay them our homage for +my husband's sake, and thank them for the glorious success, of which +Thebes, by his arm, reaps the advantage. O ye Gods! + +AMPH. Heaven grant that victorious Amphitryon may be met with renewed +pleasure by his wife: that this day may be favourable to my passion, and +restore you to me with the same heart: may I again find as much love as +my heart brings to you! + +ALC. Ah! Have you returned so soon. + +AMPH. Really, you give me but a sorry proof of your love; this, 'Ah! +have you returned so soon?' is scarcely the language a heart really +inflamed with love would use on such an occasion as this. I dared to +flatter myself I had remained away from you too long. The expectation +of an ardently longed for return makes each moment seem of great length; +the absence of what we love, however brief it may be, is always too +long. + +ALC. I do not see... + +AMPH. No, Alcmene, time is measured in such cases by one's impatience; +you count the moments of absence as one who does not love. When we +really love, the slightest separation kills us; the one whom we love to +see never returns too soon. I confess that the love I bear you has cause +to complain of your reception; I expected different expressions of joy +and tenderness from your heart. + +ALC. I cannot understand on what you found the words you have just +uttered; if you complain of me, upon my word I do not know what would +satisfy you. I think I showed a sufficiently tender joy last night, at +your happy return; my heart responded by every means you could wish to +the claims of your affection. + +AMPH. In what way? + +ALC. Did I not clearly show the sudden transports of a perfect joy? +Could a heart's feelings be better expressed at the return of a husband +who is tenderly loved? + +AMPH. What do you say? + +ALC. That even your affection showed an inconceivable joy at my +reception; and that, as you left me at break of day, I do not see that +my surprise at this sudden return is so guilty. + +AMPH. Did you, in a dream last night, Alcmene, anticipate in idea the +reality of my hastened return; and having, perhaps, treated me kindly in +your sleep, does your heart think it has fully acquitted itself of its +duty to my passion? + +ALC. Has some malignant vapour in your mind, Amphitryon, clouded the +truth of last night's return? Does your heart pretend to take away from +me the credit of all the gentle affection I showed you in my tender +welcome? + +AMPH. This vapour you attribute to me seems to me somewhat strange. + +ALC. It is in return for the dream which you attribute to me. + +AMPH. Unless it is because of a dream, what you have just now told me is +entirely inexcusable. + +ALC. Unless it is a vapour which troubles your mind, what I have heard +from you cannot be justified. + +AMPH. Let us leave this vapour for a moment, Alcmene. + +ALC. Let us leave this dream for a moment, Amphitryon. + +AMPH. One cannot jest on the subject in question without being carried +too far. + +ALC. Undoubtedly; and, as a sure proof of it, I begin to feel somewhat +uneasy. + +AMPH. Is it thus you wish to try to make amends for the welcome of which +I complain? + +ALC. Do you desire to try to amuse yourself by this feint? + +AMPH. For Heaven's, sake, I beseech you, Alcmene! Let us cease this, and +talk seriously. + +ALC. You carry your amusement too far, Amphitryon: let there be an end +to this raillery. + +AMPH. Do you really dare maintain to my face that I was seen here before +this hour? + +ALC. Have you really the assurance to deny that you came here early +yesterday evening? + +AMPH. I! I came yesterday? + +ALC. Certainly; and you went away again before dawn. + +AMPH. Heavens! Was ever such a debate as this heard before? Who would +not be astonished at all this? Sosie? + +SOS. She needs six grains of hellebore, Monsieur; her brain is turned. + +AMPH. Alcmene, in the name of all the Gods, this discourse will have a +strange ending! Recollect your senses a little better, and think what +you say. + +ALC. I am indeed thinking seriously; all in the house saw your arrival. +I am ignorant what motive makes you act thus; but, if the thing were +in need of proof, if it were true that such a thing could be forgotten, +from whom, but from you, could I have heard the news of the latest of +all your battles, and of the five diamonds worn by Pterelas, who was +plunged into eternal night by the strength of your arm? Could one wish +for surer testimony? + +AMPH. What? I have already given you the cluster of diamonds which I had +for my share, and intended for you? + +ALC. Assuredly. It is not difficult to convince you thoroughly on that +point. + +AMPH. How? + +ALC. Here it is. + +AMPH. Sosie! + +SOS. She is jesting: I have it here; Monsieur, the feint is useless. + +AMPH. The seal is whole. + +ALC. Is it a vision? There. Will you think this proof strong enough? + +AMPH. Ah Heaven! O just Heaven! + +ALC. Come, Amphitryon, you are joking in acting thus: you ought to be +ashamed of it. + +AMPH. Break this seal, quickly. + +SOS. (Having opened the casket.) Upon my word, the casket is empty. +It must have been taken out by witchcraft, or else it came by itself a +guide, to her whom it knew it was intended to adorn. + +AMPH. O Gods, whose power governs all things, what is this adventure? +What can I augur from it that does not clutch at my heart? + +SOS. If she speaks the truth, we have the same lot, and, like me, +Monsieur, you are double. + +AMPH. Be silent. + +ALC. Why are you so surprised? What causes all this confusion? + +AMPH. O Heaven! What strange perplexity! I see incidents which surpass +Nature, and my honour fears an adventure which my mind does not +understand. + +ALC. Do you still wish to deny your hasty return, when you have this +sensible proof of it? + +AMPH. No; but if it be possible, deign to tell me what passed at this +return. + +ALC. Since you ask an account of the matter, you still say it was not +you? + +AMPH. Pardon me; but I have a certain reason which makes me ask you to +give us this account. + +ALC. Have the important cares which perhaps engross you made you so +quickly lose the remembrance of it? + +AMPH. Perhaps; but, in short, you would please me by telling me the +whole story. + +ALC. The story is not long. I advanced towards you full of a delighted +surprise; I embraced you tenderly, and showed my joy more than once. + +AMPH. (to himself.) Ah! I could have done without so sweet a welcome. + +ALC. You first made me this valuable gift, which you destined for me +from the spoils of the conquered. Your heart vehemently unfolded to me +all the violence of its love, and the annoying duties which had kept it +enchained, the happiness of seeing me again, the torments of absence, +all the care which your impatience to return had given you; never +has your love, on similar occasions, seemed to me so tender and so +passionate. + +AMPH. (to himself.) Can one be more cruelly tortured? + +ALC. As you may well believe, these transports and this tenderness did +not displease me; if I must confess it, Amphitryon, my heart found a +thousand charms in them. + +AMPH. What followed, pray? + +ALC. We interrupted each other with a thousand questions concerning each +other. The table was laid. We supped together by ourselves; and, supper +over, we went to bed. + +AMPH. Together? + +ALC. Assuredly. What a question? + +AMPH. Ah; this is the most cruel stroke of all; my jealous passion +trembled to assure itself of this. + +ALC. Why do you blush so deeply at a word? Have I done something wrong +in going to bed with you? + +AMPH. No, to my great misery, it was not I; whoever says I was here +yesterday, tells, of all falsehoods, the most horrible. + +ALC. Amphitryon! + +AMPH. Perfidious woman! + +ALC. Ah! What madness is this! + +AMPH. No, no; no more sweetness, no more respect; this rebuff puts an +end to all my constancy; at this ghastly moment, my heart breathes only +fury and, vengeance. + +ALC. On whom then would you be avenged? What want of faith in me makes +you treat me now as a criminal? + +AMPH. I do not know, but it was not I; this despair makes me capable of +anything. + +ALC. Away unworthy husband, the deed speaks for itself, the imposture +is frightful. It is too great an insult to accuse me of infidelity. +If these confused transports mean that you seek a pretext to break the +nuptial bonds which hold me enchained to you, all these pretences are +superfluous, for I am determined that this day all our ties shall be +broken. + +AMPH. After the unworthy affront, which I now learn has been done me, +that is indeed what you must prepare yourself for; it is the least that +can be expected; and things may not perhaps remain there. The dishonour +is sure; my misery is made plain to me; and my pride in vain would hide +it from me. The details are still not clear: My anger is just and I +claim to be enlightened. Your brother can positively avouch that I did +not leave him until this morning: I will go and seek him, in order that +I may confound you about the return falsely imputed to me. Afterwards, +we will penetrate to the bottom of a mystery unheard of until now; and, +in the fury of a righteous anger, woe to him who has betrayed me! + +SOS. Monsieur... + +AMPH. Do not accompany me, but remain here for me. + +CLE. Must I...? + +ALC. I cannot hear anything: leave me alone: do not follow me. + + + +SCENE III + +CLEANTHIS, SOSIE + +CLE. Something must have turned his brain; but the brother will soon +finish this quarrel. + +SOS. This is a very sharp blow for my master; his fate is cruel. +I greatly fear something coming for myself. I will go softly in +enlightening her. + +CLE. Let me see whether he will so much as speak to me! I will not +reveal anything. + +SOS. These things are often annoying when one knows about them: I +hesitate to ask her. Would it not be better not to risk anything, and to +ignore what may have happened? Yet, at all hazard, I must see. I cannot +help myself. Curiosity concerning things which one would rather not know +is a human weakness. Heaven preserve you, Cleanthis! + +CLE. Ah! Ah! You dare to come near me, you villain! + +SOS. Good Heavens! What is the matter with you? You are always in a +temper, and become angry about nothing! + +CLE. What do you call about nothing? Speak out. + +SOS. I call about nothing what is called about nothing in verse as well +as in prose; and nothing, as you well know, means to say nothing, or +very little. + +CLE. I do not know what keeps me from scratching your eyes out, infamous +rascal, to teach you how far the anger of a woman can go. + +SOS. Hullo! What do you mean by this furious rage? + +CLE. Then you call that nothing, perhaps, which you have done to me? + +SOS. What was that? + +CLE. So? You feign to be innocent? Do you follow the example of your +master and say you did not return here? + +SOS. No, I know the contrary too well; but I will be frank with you. +We had drunk some wretched wine, which might have made me forget what I +did. + +CLE. You think, perhaps, to excuse yourself by this trick,... + +SOS. No, in truth you may believe me. I was in such a condition that I +may have done things I should regret; I do not remember what they were. + +CLE. You do not even remember the manner in which you thought fit to +treat me when you came from the port? + +SOS. Not at all. You had better tell me all about it; I am just and +sincere, and would condemn myself were I wrong. + +CLE. Well? Amphitryon having warned me of your return, I sat up until you +came; but I never saw such coldness: I had myself to remind you that you +had a wife; and, when I wanted to kiss you, you, turned away your head, +and gave me your ear. + +SOS. Good. + +CLE. What do you mean by good? + +SOS. Good gracious! You do not know why I talk like this, Cleanthis: I +had been eating garlic, and, like a well-bred man, just turned my breath +away from you. + +CLE. I showed you every possible tenderness; but you were as deaf as a +post to everything I said; never a kind word passed your lips. + +SOS. Courage! + +CLE. In short, my flame bad to burn alone, its chaste ardour did not +find anything in you but ice; you were the culprit in a return that +might have been so different: you even went so far as to refuse to take +your place in bed, which the laws of wedlock oblige you to occupy. + +SOS. What? Did I not go to bed? + +CLE. No, you coward. + +SOS. Is it possible? + +CLE. It is but too true, you rascal. Of all affronts this affront is the +greatest; and, instead of your heart repairing its wrong this morning, +you left me with words full of undisguised contempt. + +SOS. Vivat Sosie! + +CLE. Eh, what? Has my complaint had this effect? You laugh at your fine +goings on? + +SOS. How pleased I am with myself! + +CLE. Is this the way to express your grief at such an outrage? + +SOS. I should never have believed I could be so prudent. + +CLE. Instead of condemning yourself for such a perfidious trick, you +rejoice at it to my face! + +SOS. Good gracious! Gently, gently! If I appear pleased, you must +believe that I have a very strong private reason for it; without +thinking of it, I never did better than in using you in such a manner as +I did. + +CLE. Are you laughing at me, you villain? + +SOS. No, I am speaking openly to you. I was in a wretched state. I had +a certain load, which your words have lifted from my soul. I was very +apprehensive, and feared that I had played the fool with you. + +CLE. What is this fear? Come, let us know what you mean. + +SOS. The doctors say that, when one is drunk, one should abstain from +one's wife, for, in that condition we can only have children who are +dull, and who cannot live. Think, if my heart had not armed itself with +coldness, what troubles might have followed! + +CLE. I do not care a fig for doctors, with their insipid reasonings. Let +them rule those who are sick without wishing to govern healthy people. +They meddle with too many affairs when they seek to rein in our chaste +desires; in addition to the dog days, and their strict rules, they tell +us a hundred ridiculous stories into the bargain. + +SOS. Gently. + +CLE. No; I maintain theirs is a worthless conclusion: those reasons come +from idiotic brains. Neither wine nor time ought to prevent the duties +of conjugal love from being fulfilled; doctors are donkeys. + +SOS. I entreat you, moderate your anger against them; they are honest +people, whatever the world may say of them. + +CLE. Things are not what you think them; you can shut up; your excuse +will not go down; and, sooner or later, I tell you plainly, I will +avenge myself for the contempt you show me every day. I remember +everything you said just now, and I shall try to make use of the liberty +you gave me, You faithless, cowardly husband. + +SOS. What? + +CLE. You told me just now, you villain, that you would heartily agree to +my loving another. + +SOS. Ah! In that matter I was wrong. I retract; my honour is at stake. +You had better beware you do not give way to that sentiment. + +CLE. Nevertheless if some time I can make up my mind to the thing... + +SOS. Just stop talking for the present. Amphitryon is coming back, and +he seems pleased. + + + +SCENE IV + +JUPITER, CLEANTHIS, SOSIE + +JUP. I shall take this opportunity of appearing to Alcmene to banish +the sorrow in which she wishes to indulge, and, under the pretence +that brings me here, I will gratify my passion with the delight of a +reconciliation with her. Alcmene is upstairs, is she not? + +CLE. Yes; she is thoroughly upset and wishes to be left alone: she has +forbidden me to follow her. + +JUP. Whatever prohibition she may have given you does not concern me. + +CLE. So far as I can see, his grief has beaten a quick retreat. + + + +SCENE V + +CLEANTHIS, SOSIE + +SOS. What do you say, Cleanthis, to these cheerful looks, after his +terrible rage? + +CLE. That we should all do well to send all men to the devil; the best +of them is not worth much. + +SOS. You say that because you are in a passion; but you are too fond of +men; upon my word, you would all look as black as thunder if the devil +were to take them all away. + +CLE. Really... + +SOS. Here they come. Hush. + + + +SCENE VI + +JUPITER, ALCMENE, CLEANTHIS, SOSIE + +JUP. Do you want to drive me to despair? Alas! Stay, lovely Alcmene. + +ALC. No, I cannot remain longer with the author of my grief. + +JUP. I beseech you + +ALC. Leave me. + +JUP. What...? + +ALC. Leave me, I tell you. + +JUP. Her tears touch me to the heart; her sorrow troubles me. Allow me +to + +ALC. No, do not follow me. + +JUP. Where are you going? + +ALC. Where you are not. + +JUP. That would be a vain attempt to make. I am linked to your beauty +by too close a bond to suffer a moment's separation from you. I shall +follow you everywhere, Alcmene. + +ALC. And I shall flee from you everywhere. + +JUP. I am very terrible, then! + +ALC. Yes, more than I can say. Indeed, I look upon you as a frightful +monster, a cruel, furious monster, whose approach is to be feared; as a +monster to be avoided everywhere. My heart suffers incredible grief +at the sight of you; it is a torture that overpowers me; I do not know +anything under Heaven so frightful, horrible and odious, that I could +not better endure than you. + +JUP. Alas! Do these words really come from your mouth? + +ALC. I have many more in my heart; I only regret I cannot find words to +express all I feel. + +JUP. Ah! What has my heart done to you, Alcmene, that I should be looked +upon as such a monster? + +ALC. Oh! Just Heaven! He can ask that? Is it not enough to drive me mad? + +JUP. Yet, in a milder spirit... + +ALC. No; I do not wish either to see or to hear anything of you. + +JUP. Have you really the heart to treat me thus? Is this the tender love +which I heard yesterday was to last so long? + +ALC. No, no, it is not; your base insults have ordained it otherwise. +That passionate and tender love does not exist any longer; you have +cruelly killed it in my heart by a hundred keen wounds. In its +place stands an inflexible wrath, a lively resentment, an invincible +indignation, the despair of a heart justly incensed, which resolves to +hate you for this grievous injury, as much as it was willing to love +you; that is to say to hate as much as possible. + +JUP. Alas! Your love must have had but little strength, if it can be +killed by so slight a matter! Can a jest divorce us? Is there any need +to be so roused at a trifle? + +ALC. Ah! It is just that which offends me: that which my anger cannot +pardon. I should have felt less wounded by the justifiable transports +of a fit of jealousy. Jealousy makes impressions the force of which +oftentimes carries us beyond our control; at such times the most +discreet mind, no doubt, finds it difficult enough to answer for its +deeds. The violence of a heart which may have been deluded has, in its +very delusion, a peace-offering for an aggrieved soul, and the love that +gave birth to its fears, furnishes, in spite of all its violence, at +least some reasons to urge as excuse. Outbursts such as these ever have +love as an excuse against anger: for love gave birth to them, and we can +easily pardon what we cannot control. + +But to fly into uncontrollable fury, in gaiety of heart, and so +causelessly and keenly to wound the tenderness and honour of a heart +that dearly loves you, ah! It is too cruel a blow: my grief can never +forget it. + +JUP. Yes, you are right, Alcmene; I admit it. This action is +unquestionably an odious crime; I do not pretend to justify it longer: +yet allow my heart to defend itself in your eyes, and let it reveal to +you who is to blame for this insulting fury. To tell you frankly, it is +the husband Alcmene, who has done this wrong; it is the husband whom you +must blame. The lover has no share in this churlish anger: his heart is +not capable of offending you. He has too much respect and affection for +you ever to think of it; had he been guilty of the crime of doing aught +that could wound you, he would pierce himself with a hundred stabs +before your eyes. But the husband has cast aside that humble submission +which should always be yours; by his harsh deeds, the husband has made +himself known; he thought the rights of marriage allowed him everything. +Yes, it is he no doubt who is guilty towards you; he only has +ill-treated your lovely person. Hate, detest the husband; I consent to +it; I yield him to your mercy; but, Alcmene, spare the lover from +the anger which such an offence gives you; do not let him suffer; +differentiate between him and the guilty one; and, finally, in order to +be just, do not punish him for what he has not done. + +ALC. Oh! All these subtleties are but frivolous excuses; such language +only annoys incensed minds. In vain do you use these ridiculous +prevarications. I do not make any distinction in him who offends me; +everything in him becomes the object of my anger, the lover and the +husband are alike confounded in its just violence. Both occupy my +thoughts; both are painted in the same colours by my wounded heart. Both +are guilty; both have offended me; and both are odious to me. + +JUP. Well! Then, since you wish it, I must charge myself with the +offence. Yes, you are right, when you sacrifice me as a guilty victim to +your resentment. Anger towards me sways you; it is but too just, and all +the terrible wrath you show causes me to suffer only lawful torments. It +is right you should shun my presence, and in your anger threaten to flee +from me everywhere. I must be a detestable object to you; you are right +in thinking ill of me. My crime in being offensive in your charming +eyes surpasses every horror; it is a crime that offends men and Gods; in +short, as punishment for my insolence I deserve that your hatred should +vent its utmost upon me. I beg your forgiveness, I beg it upon my knees, +I beg it for the sake of the most lively passion, of the tenderest love +for you, which has ever been kindled in a human breast. If, charming +Alcmene, your heart refuses me the pardon which I have the audacity to +seek, then shall a well-aimed stroke put an end to my life, and release +me from the harsh severity of a penalty which I can no longer bear. Yes, +this state of things drives me to despair. Do not think, Alcmene, that, +enamoured as I am of your celestial charms, I can live a day under your +wrath. Even these moments' agony is barbarously prolonged and my sad +heart sinks under their mortal blows. The cruel wounds of a thousand +vultures are not comparable in any way to my lively grief. Alcmene, you +have but to tell me I need not hope for pardon: and immediately this +sword, by a happy thrust, shall pierce the heart of a miserable wretch +before your eyes. This heart, this traitorous heart, too deserving of +death, since it has offended an adorable being, will be happy if, in +descending into the place of shades, my death appeases your anger, and, +after this wretched day, it leaves in your soul no impression of hatred +in remembering my love! This is all I ask as a sovereign favour. + +ALC. Ah! Cruel husband. + +JUP. Speak, Alcmene, speak. + +ALC. Must I still keep some kindness for you, who insult me by so many +indignities? + +JUP. Whatever resentment an outrage causes us, can it hold out against +the remorse of a heart deeply in love? + +ALC. A heart full of passion would rather expose itself to a thousand +deaths, than offend the object beloved. + +JUP. The more one loves, the easier it is + +ALC. No, do not speak to me any longer about it; you deserve my hatred. + +JUP. You hate me then? + +ALC. I make every effort to do so, and it annoys me to feel that all +your insults do not yet carry my vengeance so far as yield to it. + +JUP. But why this violence, since I offer to kill myself to satisfy your +revenge? Pronounce the sentence and immediately I will obey. + +ALC. It is impossible to wish for another's death if hatred be absent. + +JUP. I cannot live unless you abandon the wrath that overwhelms me, and +unless you grant me the favour of a pardon which I beg at your feet. +Decide to do one or the other quickly: to punish, or to absolve. + +ALC. Alas! The only resolution I can take is but too clearly apparent. +My heart has too plainly betrayed me, for me to wish to maintain this +anger: is it not to say we pardon, when we say we cannot hate? + +JUP. Ah, charming Alcmene, overwhelmed with delight I must... + +ALC. Forbear: I hate myself for such weakness. + +JUP. Go, Sosie, make haste; a sweet joy fills my soul. See what officers +of the army you can find, and ask them to dine with me. (Softly aside.) +Mercury can fill his post, while he is away from here. + + + +SCENE VII + +CLEANTHIS, SOSIE + +SOS. Come! Now, you see, this couple, Cleanthis. Will you follow +their example, and let us also make peace? Indulge in some slight +reconciliation? + +CLE. For the sake of your lovely mug, Oh yes! I will, and no mistake. + +SOS. What? You will not? + +CLE. No. + +SOS. It doesn't matter to me. So much the worse for you. + +CLE. Well, well, come back. + +SOS. No, not, likely! I shall not do anything of the kind, I shall be +angry. I turn now. + +CLE. Go away, you villain, let me alone; one gets tired now and then of +being an honest woman. + +END OF THE SECOND ACT + + + + +ACT III + + + +SCENE I + +AMPHITRYON + +Yes, so doubt fate hides him purposely from me; at last am I tired of +trying to find him. I do not know anything that can be more cruel than +my lot. In spite of all my endeavours, I cannot find him whom I seek; +all those I do not seek I find. A thousand tiresome bores, who do not +think they are so, drive me mad with their congratulations on our feats +of arms, although they know little of me. In the cruel embarrassment and +anxiety that troubles me, they all burden me with their attentions, and +their rejoicings make my uneasiness worse. In vain I try to pass them +by, to flee from their persecutions; their killing friendship stops me +on all sides; whilst I reply to the ardour of their expressions by a nod +of the head, I mutter under my breath a hundred curses on them. Ah! How +little we are flattered by praise, honour and all that a great victory +brings, when inwardly we suffer keen sorrow! How willingly would I +exchange all this glory to have peace of mind! At every turn my jealousy +twits me with my disgrace; the more my mind ponders over it, the less +can I unravel its miserable confusion. The theft of the diamonds does +not astonish me; seals may be tampered with unperceived; but my most +cruel torment is that she insists I gave the gift to her personally +yesterday. Nature oftentimes produces resemblances, which some impostors +have adopted in order to deceive; but it is inconceivable that, under +these appearances, a man should pass himself off as a husband; there are +a thousand differences in a relationship such as this which a wife could +easily detect. The marvellous effects of Thessalian magic have at all +times been renowned; but I have always looked upon as idle tales the +famous stories everyone talks of. It would be a hard fate if I, after so +glorious a victory elsewhere, should be compelled to believe them at +the cost of my own honour. I will question her again upon this wretched +mystery, and see if it is not a silly fancy that has taken advantage of +her disordered brain. O righteous Heaven, may this thought be true, and +may she even have lost her senses, so that I may be happy! + + + +SCENE II + +MERCURY, AMPHITRYON + +MERC. Since love does not offer me any pleasure here, I will at least +enjoy myself in another way, and enliven my dismal leisure by putting +Amphitron out of all patience. This may not be very charitable in a +God; but I shall not bother myself about that; my planet tells me I am +somewhat given to malice. + +AMPH. How is it that the door is closed at this hour? + +MERC. Hullo! Gently, gently! Who knocks? + +AMPH. I. + +MERC. Who, I? + +AMPH. Ah! Open. + +MERC. What do you mean by 'open'? Who are you, pray, to make such a row, +and speak like that? + +AMPH. So? You do not know me? + +MERC. No, nor have I the least wish to. + +AMPH. Is every one losing his senses today? Is the malady spreading? +Sosie! Hullo, Sosie! + +MERC. Come, now! Sosie: that is my name; are you afraid I shall forget +it? + +AMPH. Do you see me? + +MERC. Well enough. What can possess your arm to make such an uproar? +What do you want down there? + +AMPH. I, you gallows-bird! What do I want? + +MERC. What do you not want then? Speak, if you want to be understood. + +AMPH. Listen, you villain: I will come up with a stick to make you +understand, and give you a fine lesson. How dare you speak to me like +that? + +MERC. Softly, softly! If you make the least attempt to create an uproar, +I shall send you down some messengers who will annoy you. + +AMPH. Oh Heavens! Did anyone ever conceive such insolence? And from a +servant, from a beggar? + +MERC. Come, now! What is the matter? Have you gone over everything +correctly? Have your big eyes taken everything in? He glares, so savage +he looks! If looks could bite, he would have torn me to shreds by now. + +AMPH. I tremble at what you are bringing upon yourself with all this +impudent talk. What a frightful storm you are brewing for yourself! What +a tempest of blows will storm down on your back! + +MERC. If you do not soon disappear from here, my friend, you may come in +for some mauling. + +AMPH. Ah! You villain, you shall know to your confusion what it is for a +valet to attack his master. + +MERC. You, my master? + +AMPH. Yes, rascal. Do you dare to say you do not recognise me? + +MERC. I do not recognise any other master than Amphitryon. + +AMPH. And who, besides myself, may this Amphitryon be? + +MERC. Amphitryon? + +AMPH. Certainly. + +MERC. Ah! What an illusion! Come, tell me in what decent tavern you have +addled your brain? + +AMPH. What? Again? + +MERC. Was it a feast-day wine? + +AMPH. Heavens! + +MERC. Was it old or new? + +AMPH. What insults! + +MERC. New goes to one's head, if drunk without water. + +AMPH. Ah! I shall tear your tongue out soon. + +MERC. Pass on, my dear friend; believe me, no one here will listen to +you. I respect wine. Go away, make yourself scarce, and leave Amphitryon +to the pleasures which he is tasting. + +AMPH. What! Is Amphitryon in there? + +MERC. Rather: covered with the laurels of his fine victory, he is side +by side with the lovely Alcmene enjoying the delights of a charming +tete-a-tete. They are tasting the pleasures of being reconciled, now +their love-tiff has blown over. Take care how you disturb their sweet +privacy, unless you wish him to punish you for your excessive rashness. + + + +SCENE III + +AMPHITRYON + +Ah! What a frightful blow he has given me! How cruelly has he put me to +confusion! If matters are as this villain says, to what a state are my +honour and my affection reduced? What course can I adopt? Am I to noise +it abroad or keep it secret? Ought I, in my anger, to keep the dishonour +of my house to myself or make it public? Come! Must one even think what +to do in so gross an affront? I have no standing, nothing to hope for; +all my anxiety now shall be how to avenge myself. + + + +SCENE IV + +SOSIE, NAUCRATES, POLIDAS, AMPHITRYON + +SOS. All I have been able to do, Monsieur, with all my diligence, is to +have brought these gentlemen here. + +AMPH. Ah! You are here? + +SOS. Monsieur. + +AMPH. Insolent, bold rascal! + +SOS. What? + +AMPH. I shall teach you to treat me thus. + +SOS. What is it? What is the matter with you? + +AMPH. What is the matter with me, villain? + +SOS. Hullo, gentlemen, come here quickly. + +NAU. Ah! Stay, I beseech you. + +SOS. Of what am I guilty? + +AMPH. You ask me that, you scoundrel? Let me satisfy my righteous anger. + +SOS. When they hang any one, they tell him why they do it. + +NAU. At least condescend to tell us what his crime may be. + +SOS. I beseech you, gentlemen, keep a tight hold of me. + +AMPH. Yes! He has just had the audacity to shut the door in my face, and +to add threats to a thousand impudent jeers! Ah! You villain! + +SOS. I am dead. + +NAU. Restrain this anger. + +SOS. Gentlemen. + +POL. What is it? + +SOS. Has he struck me? + +AMPH. No, he must have his reward for the language he has made free to +use just now. + +SOS. How could that be when I was elsewhere busy carrying out your +orders? These gentlemen here can bear witness that I have just invited +them to dine with you. + +NAU. That is true: he has just delivered us this message, and would not +quit us. + +AMPH. Who gave you that order? + +SOS. You. + +AMPH. When? + +SOS. After you made your peace, when you were rejoicing at the delight +of having appeased Alcmene's anger. + +AMPH. O Heaven! Every instant, every step, adds something to my cruel +martyrdom; I am so utterly confused that I no longer know either what to +believe or what to say. + +NAU. All he has just told us, of what has happened at your house, +surpasses what is natural so much, that before doing anything and before +flying into such a passion, you ought to clear up the whole of this +adventure. + +AMPH. Come; you can second my efforts; Heaven has brought you here most +opportunely. Let me see what fortune brings me today; let me solve this +mystery, and know my fate. Alas! I burn to learn it, and I dread it more +than death. + + + +SCENE V + +JUPITER, AMPHITRYON, NAUCRATES, POLIDAS, SOSIE + +JUP. What is this noise that compels me to come down? Who knocks as +though he were master where I am master? + +AMPH. Good Gods! What do I see? + +NAU. Heaven! What prodigy is this? What? Here are two Amphitryons! + +AMPH. My soul is struck dumb. Alas! I cannot do anything more: the +adventure is at an end; my fate is clear; what I see tells me all. + +NAU. The more narrowly I watch them, the more I find they resemble each +other. + +SOS. Gentlemen, this is the true one; the other is an impostor who ought +to be chastised. + +POL. Truly, this marvellous resemblance keeps my judgment in suspense. + +AMPH. We have been tricked too long by an execrable rogue; I must break +the spell with this steel. + +NAU. Stay. + +AMPH. Leave me alone. + +NAU. Ye Gods! What would you do? + +AMPH. Punish the miserable treachery of an impostor. + +JUP. Gently, gently! There is very little need of being carried away +by passion; when a man bursts out in such a rage as this, it makes one +think he has bad reasons. + +SOS. Yes; it is an enchanter, who has a talisman that enables him to +resemble the masters of houses. + +AMPH. For your share in this insulting language, I shall make you feel a +thousand blows. + +SOS. My master is a man of courage: he will not allow his followers to +be thrashed. + +AMPH. Let me assuage my deep anger, and wash out my affront in the +scoundrel's blood. + +NAU. We shall not suffer this strange combat of Amphitryon against +himself. + +AMPH. What? Does my honour receive this treatment from you? Do my +friends undertake the defence of a rogue? Far from being the first to +take up my vengeance, they themselves place obstacles in the way of my +resentment? + +NAU. What do you wish us to decide, when two Amphitryons are before us +and all the warmth of our friendship is in suspense? If we were now to +show towards you, we fear we might make a mistake, and not recognise +you. Truly we see in you the appearance of Amphitryon, the glorious +support of the Thebans' well-being; but we also see the same appearance +in him, and we cannot judge which he is. Our duty is not doubtful, +the impostor ought to bite the dust at our hands; but this perfect +resemblance hides him between you two; and it is too hazardous a stroke +to undertake in the dark. Let us find out quietly on which side the +imposture may be; then, as soon as we have unravelled the adventure, it +will not be necessary for you to tell us our duty. + +JUP. Yes, you are right, this resemblance authorises you to doubt both +of us. I am not offended to see you cannot make up your minds: I am more +reasonable, and excuse you. The eye cannot differentiate between us. I +see one can easily be mistaken. You do not see me give way to anger, nor +draw my sword: that is a bad way to enlighten a mystery; I can find one +more gentle and more certain. One of us is Amphitryon; and both of us +may seem so in your eyes. It is for me to end this confusion. I intend +to make myself so well known to all, that, at the overwhelming proofs I +shall bring forward to show who I am, he himself shall agree concerning +the blood from which I sprang, and he shall no longer have occasion to +say anything. Before all the Thebans I will reveal the truth to you; +the affair is, unquestionably, of sufficient importance to justify my +seeking to clear it up in the sight of all. Alcmene expects this public +testimony from me; her virtue, which is outraged by the noise of this +mischance, demands justification, and I will see justice is done it. My +love for her compels me to it. I shall call together an assembly of the +noblest chiefs, for the explanation her honour requires. While waiting +with you for these desirable witnesses, I pray you to condescend to +honour the table to which Sosie has invited you. + +SOS. I was not mistaken, gentlemen, this word puts an end to all +irresolution: the real Amphitryon is the Amphitryon who gives dinners. + +AMPH. O Heaven! Can my humiliation go further? Must I indeed suffer the +martyrdom of listening to all that this impostor has just said to my +face, my arms bound, though his words drive me mad? + +NAU. You are wrong to complain. Let us await the explanation which shall +render resentment seasonable. I do not know whether he imposes upon us +or not; but he speaks on the matter as though he were right. + +AMPH. Go, you weak-kneed friends, and flatter the imposture. Thebes has +other friends who will flock round me, different from you. I will go and +find some who, sharing the insult, will know how to lend their hand in +my just cause. + +JUP. Ah well! I await them; I shall know how to decide the discussion in +their presence. + +AMPH. You rogue, you think perhaps to evade justice thus; but nothing +shall shield you from my vengeance. + +JUP. I shall not now condescend to answer this insulting language; soon +I shall be able to confound your fury with two words. + +AMPH. Not Heaven, not Heaven itself can protect you: I shall dog your +footsteps even to Hell. + +JUP. It will not be necessary; you will soon see I shall not fly away. + +AMPH. Now, before he goes away with these, I will make haste to gather +together friends who will aid my cause; they will come to my house and +help me to pierce him with a thousand thrusts. + +JUP. No ceremony, I implore you; let us go quickly into the house. + +NAU. Really, this adventure utterly confounds the senses and the reason. + +SOS. A truce, gentlemen, to all your surprises; let us joyfully sit down +to feed until the morning. I intend to feast well, so that I may be in +good condition to relate our valiant deeds! I am itching to attack the +dishes; I never felt so hungry. + + + +SCENE VI + +MERCURY, SOSIE + +MERC. Stop. What have you come to poke your nose in here for, you +impudent turn-spit? + +SOS. Ah! Gently, gently, for mercy's sake! + +MERC. Ah! You have come back again! I shall tan your hide for you. + +SOS. Ah! Brave and generous I, compose yourself, I beseech you. Sosie, +spare Sosie a little, and do not divert yourself by knocking yourself +down. + +MERC. Who gave you liberty to call yourself by that name? Did I not +expressly forbid you to do so, under penalty of experiencing a thousand +cuts from the cane? + +SOS. It is a name we both may bear at the same time, under the same +master. I am recognised as Sosie everywhere; I permit you to be he, +permit me to be so, too. Let us leave it to the two Amphitryons to give +vent to their jealousies, and, though they contend, let the two Sosies +live in the bonds of peace. + +MERC. No, one is quite enough; I am determined not to allow any +division. + +SOS. You shall have precedence over me; I will be the younger, and you +shall be the elder. + +MERC. No: a brother is a nuisance, and not to my taste; I intend to be +the only son. + +SOS. O barbarous and tyrannical heart! Allow me at least to be your +shadow. + +MERC. Not at all. + +SOS. Let your soul humanise itself with a little pity! Allow me to be +near you in that capacity: I shall be everywhere so submissive a shadow +that you will be pleased with me. + +MERC. No quarter; the law is immutable. If you again have the audacity +to go in there, a thousand blows shall be the fruit. + +SOS. Alas! Poor Sosie, to what miserable disgrace are you reduced! + +MERC. So? Your lips presume again to give yourself a name I forbid! + +SOS. No, I did not intend myself; I was speaking of an old Sosie, who +was formerly a relative of mine, and whom, with the utmost barbarity, +they drove out of the house at dinner hour. + +MERC. Take care you do not fall into that idiocy if you wish to remain +among the number of the living. + +SOS. How I would thwack you if I had the courage, for your wretched +puffed up pride, you double son of a strumpet! + +MERC. What do you say? + +SOS. Nothing. + +MERC. I am sure you muttered something. + +SOS. Ask anyone; I do not breathe. + +MERC. Nevertheless I am absolutely certain that something about a son of +a strumpet struck my ear. + +SOS. It must have been a parrot roused by the beautiful weather. + +MERC. Adieu. If your back itches for a currying, here is where I live. + +SOS. O Heavens! What a cursed hour is the dinner hour to be turned out +of doors! Come, let us yield to fate in our affliction. Let us today +follow blind caprice, and join the unfortunate Sosie to the unfortunate +Amphitryon: it is a suitable union. I see he is coming in good company. + + + +SCENE VII + +AMPHITRYON, ARGATIPHONTIDAS, POSICLES, SOSIE + +AMPH. Stay here, gentlemen, follow me a little way off, and do not all +advance, I pray you, until there is need for it. + +POS. I quite understand this blow touches you to the heart. + +AMPH. Ah! My sorrow is bitter through and through: I suffer in my +affection, as much as in my honour. + +POS. If this resemblance is such as is said, Alcmene, without being +guilty... + +AMPH. Ah! In this affair, a simple error becomes a veritable crime, +and, though no way consenting, innocence perishes in it. Such errors, +in whatever way we look at them, affect us in the most sensitive parts; +reason often, often pardons them, when honour and love cannot. + +ARGAT. I do not bother my thoughts about that; but I hate your gentlemen +for their disgraceful delay; it is a proceeding which wounds me to the +quick, and one which courageous people will never approve. When any +man has need of us, we ought to throw ourselves headforemost into his +concerns. Argatiphontidas is not one for compromising matters. It is +not seemly for men of honour to listen to the arguments of a friend's +adversary; one should only listen to vengeance at such times. The +proceeding does not please me; in quarrels such as these we ought always +to begin sending the sword through the body, without any nonsense. Yes, +whatever happens, you shall see that Argatiphontidas goes straight to +the point. I entreat you not to let the villain die by any other hand +than mine. + +AMPH. Come on. + +SOS. I come, Monsieur, to undergo at your knees the just punishment of +cursed audacity. Strike, beat, drub, overwhelm me with blows, kill me +in your anger; you will do well, I deserve it; I shall not say a single +word against you. + +AMPH. Get up. What is the matter? + +SOS. I have been turned away unceremoniously; thinking to eat and +rejoice like them, I did not think that, as it turned out, I was waiting +there to thrash myself. Yes, the other I, valet to the other you, has +played the very devil with me once more. The same cruel fate seems to +pursue us both today, Monsieur. In short, they have un-Sosied me, as +they un-Amphitryon'd you. + +AMPH. Follow me. + +SOS. Is it not better to see if anybody is coming? + + + +SCENE VIII + +CLEANTHIS, NAUCRATES, POLIDAS, SOSIE, AMPHITRYON, + +ARGATIPHONTIDAS, POSICLES + +CLE. O Heaven! + +AMPH. What frightens you like this? Why are you afraid of me? + +CLE. Why! You are up there and I see you here! + +NAU. Do not hurry; here he comes to give, before us all, the explanation +we want. If we may believe what he has just said about it, it will +banish away your trouble and care. + + + +SCENE IX + +MERCURY, CLEANTHIS, NAUCRATES, POLIDAS, SOSIE, AMPHITRYON, +ARGATIPHONTIDAS, POSICLES + +MERC. Yes, you shall all see him; know beforehand that it is the +grand master of the Gods, whom, under the cherished features of this +resemblance, Alcmene has caused to descend here from the heavens. As +for me, I am Mercury. Not knowing what else to do, I have given him +a drubbing whose appearance I took. He may now console himself, for +strokes from the wand of a God confer honour on him who has to submit to +them. + +SOS. Upon my word, Monsieur God, I am your servant; I could have done +without your attentions. + +MERC. I now give you leave to be Sosie. I am tired of wearing such an +ugly mug; I am going to the heavens, to scrape it all off with ambrosia. +(He flies away to the skies.) + +SOS. May Heaven forever keep you from the desire of wishing to come near +me again! Your fury against me has been too bitter; never in my life +have I seen a God who was more of a devil than you! + + + +SCENE X + +JUPITER, CLEANTHIS, NAUCRATES, POLIDAS, SOSIE, AMPHITRYON, +ARGATIPHONTIDAS, POSICLES + +JUP. (In a cloud,) Behold, Amphitryon, who has imposed on you; under his +own aspect you see Jupiter. By these signs you may easily know him; they +are sufficient, I think, to restore your heart where it should be to +bring back peace and happiness to your family. My name, which the whole +earth continually adores, thus stifles all scandal that might be spread +abroad. A share with Jupiter has nothing that in the least dishonours, +for doubtless, it can be but glorious to find one's self the rival of +the sovereign of the Gods. I do not see any reason why your love should +murmur; it is I, God as I am, who ought to be jealous in this affair. +Alcmene is wholly yours, whatever means one may employ; it must be +gratifying to your passion to see that there is no other way of pleasing +her than to appear as her husband. Even Jupiter, clothed in his immortal +glory, could not by himself undermine her fidelity; what he has received +from her was granted by her ardent heart only to you. + +SOS. The Seigneur Jupiter knows how to gild the pill. + +JUP. Cast aside, therefore, the black care that stifles your heart; +restore perfect peace to the ardour which consumes you. In your house +shall be born a son, who, under the name of Hercules, shall cause the +vast universe to ring with his deeds. A glorious future crowned with +a thousand blessings shall let every one see I am your support; I will +make your fate the envy of the whole world. You may boldly flatter +yourself with what these promises confer. It is a crime to doubt them, +for the words of Jupiter are the decrees of fate. (He is lost in the +clouds.) + +NAU. Truly, I am delighted at these evident marks... + +SOS. Gentlemen, will you please take my advice? Do not embark in +these sugary congratulations; it is a bad speculation; phrases are +embarrassing on either side, in such a compliment. The great God Jupiter +has done us much honour, and, unquestionably, his kindness towards us +is unparalleled; he promises us the infallible happiness of a fortune +crowned with a thousand blessings, and in our house shall be born a +brave son. Nothing could be better than this. But, nevertheless, let us +cut short our speeches, and each one retire quietly to his own house. In +such affairs as these, it is always best not to say anything. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Amphitryon, by Moliere + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AMPHITRYON *** + +***** This file should be named 2536.txt or 2536.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/5/3/2536/ + +Produced by Bob Colomb + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. 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Waller, M.A. + + + + +Amphitryon was played for the first time in Paris, at the Theatre du +Palais-Royal, January 13, 1668. It was successfully received, +holding the boards until the 18th of March, when Easter intervened. +After the re-opening of the theatre, it was played half a dozen +times more the same year, and continued to please. + +The first edition was published in 1668. + +Note: It is perhaps hardly necessary to refer the reader to +Amphitryon, by Plautus, the comedy upon which Moliere's charming +play was, in the main, based. The rendering attempted here can give +but a faint reflection of the original, for hardly any comedy of +Moliere's loses more in the process of translation. + + + + +Amphitryon + +A play by Moliere + + + + +PROLOGUE + + + +MERCURY, on a cloud; NIGHT, in a chariot drawn by two horses + +MERC. Wait! Gentle Night; deign to stay awhile: Some help is needed +from you. I have two words to say to you from Jupiter. + +NIGHT. Ah! Ah! It is you, Seigneur Mercury! Who would have thought +of you here, in that position? + +MERC. Well, feeling tired, and not being able to fulfil the +different duties Jupiter ordered me, I quietly sat down on this +cloud to await your coming. + +NIGHT. You jest, Mercury: you do not mean it; does it become the +Gods to say they are tired? + +MERC. Are the Gods made of iron? + +NIGHT. No; but one must always have a care for divine decorum. There +are certain words the use of which debases this sublime quality, and +it is meet that these should be left to men, because they are unworthy. + +MERC. You speak at your ease, fair lady, from a swiftly rolling +chariot, in which, like a dame free from care; you are drawn by two +fine horses wherever you like. But it is not the same with me. Such +is my miserable fate that I cannot bear the poets too great a grudge +for their gross impertinence in having, by an unjust law, which they +wish to retain in force, given a separate conveyance to each God, +for his own use, and left me to go on foot: me, like a village +messenger, though, as everyone knows, I am the famous messenger of +the sovereign of the Gods, on the earth and in the heavens. Without +any exaggeration, I need more than any one else the means of being +carried about, because of all the duties he puts upon me. + +NIGHT. What can one do? The poets do what pleases them. It is not +the only stupidity we have detected in these gentlemen. But surely +your irritation against them is wrong, for the wings at your feet +are a friendly gift of theirs. + +MERC. Yes; but does going more quickly tire oneself less? + +NIGHT. Let us leave the matter, Seigneur Mercury, and learn what is wanted. + +MERC. Jupiter, as I have told you, wishes the dark aid of your cloak +for a certain gallant adventure, which a new love affair has +furnished him. His custom is not new to you, I believe: often does +he neglect the heavens for the earth; and you are not ignorant that +this master of the Gods loves to take upon himself the guise of man +to woo earthly beauties. He knows a hundred ingenious tricks to +entrap the most obdurate. He has felt the darts of Alcmene's eyes; +and, whilst Amphitryon, her husband, commands the Theban troops on +the plains of Boeotia, Jupiter has taken his form, and assuaged his +pains, in the possession of the sweetest of pleasures. The condition +of the couple is propitious to his desire: Hymen joined them only a +few days ago; and the young warmth of their tender love suggested to +Jupiter to have recourse to this fine artifice. His stratagem proved +successful in this case; but with many a cherished object a similar +disguise would not be of any use: it is not always a sure means of +pleasing, to adopt the form, of a husband. + +NIGHT. I admire Jupiter, and I cannot imagine all the disguises +which come into his head. + +MERC. By these means he wishes to taste all sorts of conditions: +that is the act of a God who is not a fool. However mortals may +regard him, I should think very meanly of him if he never quitted +his redoubtable mien, and were always in the heavens, standing upon +his dignity. In my opinion, there is nothing more idiotic than +always to be imprisoned in one's grandeur; above all, a lofty rank +becomes very inconvenient in the transports of amorous ardour. +Jupiter, no doubt, is a connoisseur in pleasure, and he knows how to +descend from the height of his supreme glory. So that he can enter +into everything that pleases him, he entirely casts aside himself, +and then it is no longer Jupiter who appears. + +NIGHT. I could overlook seeing him step down from his sublime stage +to that of men, since he wishes to enter into all the transports +which their natures can supply, and join in their jests, if, in the +changes which take his fancy, he would confine himself to nature. +But I do not think it fitting to see Jupiter as a bull, a serpent, a +swan, or what not, and it does not astonish me that it is sometimes +talked about. + +MERC. Let all the busybodies talk; such changes have their own +charms and surpass people's understanding. The God knows what he +does in this affair as in everything else: in the movements of their +tender passions, animals are not so loutish as one might think. + +NIGHT. Let us return to the lady whose favours he enjoys. If, by his +stratagem, his pursuit is successful, what more can he wish? What can I do? + +MERC. He wishes that you would slacken the pace of your horses, to +satisfy the passion of his amorous heart, and so make of a +delightful night the longest night of all; that you would give him +more time for his transports, and retard the birth of day since it +will hasten the return of him whose place he occupies. + +NIGHT. Really the employment which the great Jupiter reserves for me +is a worthy one! The service he requires of me passes under a very +respectable name. + +MERC. You are somewhat old-fashioned for a young goddess! Such an +employment is not debasing except among people of mean birth. When +one has the happiness of belonging to lofty rank, whatever one does +is always right and good; things change their names to suit what one may be. + +NIGHT. You know more about such matters than I do; I will trust to +your enlightened views and accept this employment. + +MERC. Come, come, now, Madam Night, a little gently, I beseech you. +The world gives you the reputation of not being so scrupulous. In a +hundred different climes you are made the confidant of many gallant +adventures; and, if I may speak candidly, we do not owe each other anything. + +NIGHT. Let us cease these reproaches and remain what we are. Let us +not give men cause to laugh by telling each other the truth. + +MERC. Adieu. I am going there to play my part in this business, +promptly to strip myself of the form of Mercury and to take in its +place the figure of Amphitryon's valet. + +NIGHT. I am going to keep station in this hemisphere with my sombre train. + +MERC. Good day, Night. + +NIGHT. Adieu, Mercury. + +(Mercury descends from his cloud to the earth, and Night goes away +in her chariot.) + +END OF THE PROLOGUE. + +ACT I + +SCENE I + +SOSIE + +Who goes there? Eh? My fear grows with every step. Gentlemen, I am a +friend to all the world. Ah! What unparalleled boldness, to be out +at this hour! My master is crowned with fame, but what a villainous +trick he plays me here! What? If he had any love for his neighbour, +would he have sent me out in such a black night? Could he not just +as well have waited until it was day before sending me to announce +his return and the details of his victory? To what servitude are thy +days subjected, Sosie! Our lot is far more hard with the great than +with the mean. They insist that everything in nature should be +compelled to sacrifice itself for them. Night and day, hail, wind, +peril, heat, cold, as soon as they speak we must fly. Twenty years +of assiduous service do not gain us any consideration from them. The +least little whim draws down upon us their anger. + +Notwithstanding this, our infatuated hearts cling to the empty +honour of remaining near them, contented with the false idea, which +every one holds, that we are happy. In vain reason bids us retire; +in vain our spite sometimes consents to this; to be near them is too +powerful an influence on our zeal, and the least favour of a +caressing glance immediately re-engages us. But at last, I see our +house through the darkness, and my fear vanishes. + +I must prepare some thought-out speech for my mission. I must give +Alcmene warlike description of the fierce combat which put our +enemies to flight. But how the deuce can I do this since I was not +there? Never mind; let us talk of cut and thrust, as though I were +an eyewitness. How many people describe battles from which they +remained far away! In order to act my part without discredit, I will +rehearse it a little. + +This is the chamber into which I am ushered as the messenger: this +lantern is Alcmene, to whom I have to speak. (He sets his lantern on +the ground and salutes it.) 'Madam, Amphitryon, my master and your +husband, ... (Good! that is a fine beginning!) whose mind is ever +full of your charms, has chosen me from amongst all to bring tidings +of the success of his arms, and of his desire to be near you.' 'Ah! +Really, my poor Sosie, I am delighted to see you back again.' +'Madam, you do me too much honour: my lot is an enviable one.' (Well answered!) + +'How is Amphitryon?' 'Madam, as a man of courage should be, when +glory leads him.' (Very good! A capital idea!) 'When will my heart +be charmed and satisfied by his return?' 'As soon as possible, +assuredly, Madam, but his heart desires a speedier return.' (Ah!) +'In what state has the war left him? What says he? What does he? +Ease my anxiety.' He says less than he does, Madam, and makes his +enemies tremble.' (Plague! where do I get all these fine speeches?) +'What are the rebels doing? Tell me, what is their condition?' 'They +could not resist our efforts, Madam; we cut them to pieces, put +their chief, Pterelas, to death, took Telebos by assault; and now +the port rings with our prowess.' 'Ah! What a success! Ye Gods! Who +could ever have imagined it? Tell me, Sosie, how it happened.' 'I +will, gladly, Madam; and, without boasting, I can tell you, with the +greatest accuracy, the details of this victory. Imagine, therefore, +Madam, that Telebos is on this side. (He marks the places on his +hand, or on the ground.) It is a city really almost as large as +Thebes. The river is, say, there. Here, our people encamped; and +that space was occupied by our enemies. On a height, somewhere about +here, was their infantry; and, lower down, on the right side, was +their cavalry. After having addressed prayers to the Gods, and +issued all the orders, the signal was given. The enemy, thinking to +turn our flank, divided their horse soldiers into three platoons; +but we soon chilled their warmth, and you shall see how. Here is our +vanguard ready to begin work; there, were the archers of our king, +Creon; and here, the main army (some one makes a slight noise), +which was just going to . . . Stay; the main body is afraid'; I +think I hear some noise. + +SCENE II + +MERCURY, SOSIE + +MERC. (Under the form of Sosie.) Under this mask which resembles him, +I will drive away the babbler from here. His unfortunate arrival may +disturb the pleasures our lovers are tasting together. + +SOS. My heart revives a little; perhaps it was nothing. Lest +anything untoward should happen, however, I will go in to finish the +conversation. + +MERC. I shall prevent your doing that unless you are stronger than Mercury. + +SOS. This night seems to me unusually long. By the time I have been +on the way, either my master has taken evening for morning, or +lovely Phoebus slumbers too long in bed through having taken too much wine. + +MERC. With what irreverence this lubber speaks of the Gods! My arm +shall soon chastise this insolence; I shall have a fine game with +him, stealing his name as well as his likeness. + +SOS. Ah! upon my word, I was right: I am done for, miserable +creature that I am! I see a man before our house whose mien bodes me +no good. I will sing a little to show some semblance of assurance. + +(He sings; and, when Mercury speaks, his voice weakens, little by little.) + +MERC. What rascal is this, who takes the unwarrantable licence of +singing and deafening me like this? Does he wish me to curry his coat for him? + +SOS. Assuredly that fellow does not like music. + +MERC. For more than a week, I have not found any one whose bones I +could break; my arm will lose its strength in this idleness. I must +look out for some one's back to get my wind again. + +SOS. What the deuce of a fellow is this? My heart thrills with +clutching fear. But why should I tremble thus? Perhaps the rogue is +as much afraid as I am, and talks in this way to hide his fear from +me under a feigned audacity. Yes, yes, I will not allow him to think +me a goose. If I am not bold, I will try to appear so. Let me seek +courage by reason; he is alone, even as I am; I am strong, I have a +good master, and there is our house. + +MERC. Who goes there? + +SOS. I. + +MERC. Who, I? + +SOS. I. Courage, Sosie! + +MERC. Tell me, what is your condition? + +SOS. To be a man, and to speak. + +MERC. Are you a master, or a servant? + +SOS. As fancy takes me. + +MERC. Where are you going? + +SOS. Where I intend to go. + +MERC. Ah! This annoys me. + +SOS. I am ravished to hear it. + +MERC. By hook or by crook, I must definitely know all about you, you +wretch; what you do, whence you come before the day breaks, where +you are going, and who you may be. + +SOS. I do good and ill by turns; I come from there; I go there; I +belong to my master. + +MERC. You show wit, and I see you think to play the man of +importance for my edification. I feel inclined to make your +acquaintance by slapping your face. + +SOS. Mine? + +MERC. Yours; and there you get it, sharp. (Mercury gives him a slap.) + +SOS. Ah! Ah! This is a fine game! + +MERC. No; it is only a laughing matter, a reply to your quips. + +SOS. Good heavens! Friend, how you swing out your arm without any +one saying anything to you. + +MERC. These are my lightest clouts, little ordinary smacks. + +SOS. If I were as hasty as you, we should have a fine ado. + +MERC. All this is nothing as yet: it is merely to fill up time; we +shall soon see something else; but let us continue our conversation. + +SOS. I give up the game. (He turns to go away.) + +MERC. Where are you going? + +SOS. What does it matter to you? + +MERC. I want to know where you are going. + +SOS. I am going to open that door. Why do you detain me? + +MERC. If you dare to go near it, I shall rain down a storm of blows on you. + +SOS. What? You wish to hinder me from entering our own house by threats? + +MERC. What do you say, your house? + +SOS. Yes, our house. + +MERC. O, the scoundrel! You speak of that house? + +SOS. Certainly. Is not Amphitryon the master of it? + +MERC. Well! What does that prove? + +SOS. I am his valet. + +MERC. You? + +SOS. I. + +MERC. His valet? + +SOS. Unquestionably. + +MERC. Valet of Amphitryon? + +SOS. Of Amphitryon himself. + +MERC. Your name is? + +SOS. Sosie. + +MERC. Eh? What? + +SOS. Sosie. + +MERC. Listen: do you realise that my fist can knock you spinning? + +SOS. Why? What fury has seized you now? + +MERC. Tell me, who made you so rash as to take the name of Sosie? + +SOS. I do not take it; I have always borne it. + +MERC. O what a monstrous lie! What confounded impudence! You dare to +maintain that Sosie is your name? + +SOS. Certainly; I maintain it, for the good reason that the Gods +have so ordered it by their supreme power. It is not in my power to +say no, and to be any one else than myself. + +(Mercury beats him.) MERC. A thousand stripes ought to be the reward +of such audacity. + +SOS. Justice, citizens! Help! I beseech you. + +MERC. So, you gallows-bird, you yell out? + +SOS. You beat me down with a thousand blows, and yet do not wish me to cry out? + +MERC. It is thus that my arm . . . + +SOS. The action is unworthy. You gloat over the advantage which my +want of courage gives you over me; that is not fair treatment. It is +mere bullying to wish to profit by the poltroonery of those whom one +makes to feel the weight of one's arm. To thrash a man who does not +retaliate is not the act of a generous soul; and to show courage +against men who have none merits condemnation. + +MERC. Well! Are you still Sosie? What say you? + +SOS. Your blows have not made any metamorphosis in me; all the +change there is is that in the matter I am Sosie thrashed. + +MERC. Still? A hundred fresh blows for this fresh impudence. + +SOS. Have mercy, a truce to your blows. + +MERC. Then a truce to your insolence. + +SOS. Anything that pleases you; I will keep silence. The dispute +between us is too unequal. + +MERC. Are you still Sosie? Say, villain! + +SOS. Alas! I am what you wish; dispose of my lot exactly as you +please: your arm 'has made you the master of it. + +MERC. I think you said your name was Sosie? + +SOS. True, until now I thought the matter was clear; but your rod +has made me see that I was mistaken in this affair. + +MERC. I am Sosie: all Thebes avows it. Amphitryon has never had other than me. + +SOS. You, Sosie? + +MERC. Yes, Sosie; and if any one trifles with me, he must take care of himself. + +SOS. Heavens! Must I thus renounce myself, and see my name stolen by +an impostor. How lucky I am a poltroon! Or, by the death . . .! + +MERC. What are you mumbling between your teeth? + +SOS. Nothing. But, in the name of the Gods, give me leave to speak +one moment with you. + +MERC. Speak. + +SOS. But promise me, I beseech you, that there shall not be any more +strokes. Let us sign a truce. + +MERC. Let that pass; go on, I grant you this point. + +SOS. Tell me, who put this fancy into your head? What benefit will +it be to you to take my name? In short, were you a demon, could you +hinder me from being myself, from being Sosie? + +MERC. What is this, you dare . . . + +SOS. Ah! Gently: there is a truce to blows. + +MERC. What! Gallows-bird, impostor, scoundrel ... + +SOS. As for abuse, give me as much as you please; it makes but a +slight wound and does not bother me. + +MERC. You say you are Sosie? + +SOS. Yes. Some ridiculous tale . . . + +MERC. So, I shall break our truce, and take back my word. + +SOS. I can't help it. I cannot annihilate myself for you, and endure +so improbable a tale. Is it in your power to be what I am? Can I +cease to be myself? Did any one ever hear of such a thing? And can +you give the lie to a hundred clear indications? Do I dream? Do I +sleep? Is my mind troubled by powerful transports? Do I not feel I +am awake? Am I not in my right senses? Has not my master, +Amphitryon, commanded me to come here to Alcmene his wife? Am I not, +in commending his passion to her, to give her an account of his +deeds against our enemies? Have I not just come from the harbour? Do +I not hold a lantern in my hand? Have I not found you in front of +our house? Did I not speak to you in a perfectly friendly manner? Do +you not make use of my poltroonery to hinder me from entering our +house? Have you not vented your rage upon my back? Have you not +showered blows on me? Ah! All this is but too true: would to Heaven +it were less real! Cease therefore to jeer at a wretch's lot, and +leave me to acquit myself where my duty calls me. + +MERC. Stop, or the shortest step brings down upon your back +clattering evidence of my just anger. All you have just said is +mine, except the blows. It is I, whom Amphitryon sent to Alcmene; +who has just arrived from the Persian port; I, who have come to +announce the valour of his arm, which has gained us a glorious +victory, and slain the chief of our enemies. In short, I am +undoubtedly Sosie, son of Dave, an honest shepherd; brother of +Arpage, who died in a foreign land; husband of Cleanthis the prude, +whose temper drives me wild; I, who received a thousand cuts from a +whip at Thebes, without ever saying anything about it; and who was +once publicly branded on the back for being too worthy a man. + +SOS. He is right. If he were not Sosie, he could not know all he +says; all this is so astounding that even I begin to believe him a +little. In fact, now I look at him, I see he has my figure, looks, +and manners. I wilt ask him some question, in order to clear up this +mystery. What did Amphitryon obtain as his share of all the plunder +taken from our enemies? + +MERC. Five fine large diamonds, beautifully set in a cluster, which +their chief wore as a rare piece of handicraft. + +SOS. For whom does he intend so rich a present? + +MERC. For his wife; he intends her to wear it. + +SOS. Where have you put it, until you meet her? + +MERC. In a casket sealed with the arms of my master. + +SOS. He does not tell a single lie at any turn: I begin to doubt +myself in earnest. He has already cowed me into believing him to be +Sosie; and he might even reason me into thinking him so. Yet, when I +touch myself, and recollect, it seems to me I am myself. Where can I +find some light that will clearly make my way plain? What I have +done alone, and what no one has seen, cannot be known to any one +else: that, at least, belongs to me. I will astonish him by this +question: it will confound him, and we shall see. When they were at +close quarters, what were you doing in our tents, whither you ran to +hide yourself away? + +MERC. Off a ham + +SOS. That is it! + +MERC. Which I unearthed, I soon cut two succulent slices: they +suited me nicely. I added to them a wine which was usually kept +dark, and, gloated over the sight of it before I tasted it. So I +took heart for our fighters. + +SOS. This unparalleled proof ends matters well in his favour; and, +unless he were in the bottle, there is nothing to be said. From the +proofs you show me, I cannot deny that you are Sosie: I admit it. +But, if you are he, tell me whom you wish me to be; for I must be someone. + +MERC. When I shall no longer be Sosie, you may be he, I consent to +that; but I promise you it shall be the death of you if you take up +such a fancy while I am he. + +SOS. All this confusion turns me inside out, for reason is against +what I see. But I must end this by some means; and the shortest way +for me is to go in there. + +MERC. Oh! You gallows-bird, you want to taste the stick. + +SOS. What is the matter? Great Gods! He makes the blows ring again; +my back will ache for a month. I will leave this devil of a fellow, +and return to the harbour. O just Heavens, what a fine ambassador I have been! + +MERC. At last, I have made him fly; this treatment has paid him out +for many of his deeds. But here is Jupiter, gallantly escorting his +lover Alcmene. + +SCENE III + +JUPITER, ALCMENE, CLEANTHIS, MERCURY + +JUP. My dear Alcmene, forbid the torch-bearers to come near. They +give me delight in enabling me to see you; but they might betray my +being here, and this were best unrevealed. Restrained by all the +heavy cares with which the glory of our arms held me bound, my heart +has stolen from the duties of my post the moments it has just given +to your charms. This theft, which I have consecrated to your beauty, +might be blamed by the public voice; and the only witness I want, is +she who can thank me for it. + +ALC. I take great interest, Amphitryon, in the glory which your +illustrious exploits have cast upon you; the fame of your victory +moves my heart to its depths. But when I see that this disastrous +honour keeps my lover away from me, such is my heart's feeling that +I cannot forbear to think ill of it, and to regret the high order +which makes you general of the Thebans. It is sweet after a victory +to see the glory to which one's lover has been raised; but, from +among the perils attached to this glory, a deadly blow, alas! may +soon fall. With how many fears is one's heart wounded at the report +of the least skirmish! In the horror of such a thought, is there +anything that can console for the threatened stroke? And with +whatever laurels the victor may be crowned, whatever share one may +have in that supreme honour, is it worth what it costs a tender +heart, which trembles every moment for its lover? + +JUP. I do not see anything in you but what inflames my passion; +everything shows me a deeply enamoured heart; and, I confess, it is +a great delight to find so much love in a beloved object. But, if I +may dare say so, one scruple in the tender sentiments which you show +me causes me anxiety; and, in order to enjoy you the more, dear +Alcmene, my heart would rather see love only, and not duty, in the +favours which I receive from you; may they arise solely from +affection, and have respect to my person only; let not my condition +as your husband be the reason for them. + +ALC. Yet it is in that name that the ardour which burns me holds the +right to show itself: I do not understand this new scruple which +troubles your heart. + +JUP. The love and tenderness which I have for you far exceeds a +husband's; in these sweet moments, you do not realise its delicacy; +You do not understand that a heart deeply in love studiously +attaches itself to a hundred little trifles, and is restless over +the manner of being happy. In me, fair and charming Alcmene, you see +a lover and a husband; but, to speak frankly, it is the lover that +appeals to me; when near you, I feel the husband restrains him. This +lover, who is supremely jealous of your love, wishes your heart to +abandon itself solely to him: his passion does not wish anything the +husband gives him. He wishes to obtain the warmth of your love from +the fountain-head, and not to owe anything to the bonds of wedlock, +or to a duty which palls and makes the heart sad, for by these the +sweetness of the most cherished favours is daily poisoned. This +idea, in short, tosses him to and fro, and he wishes, in order to +satisfy his scruples, that you would differentiate where the +occasion offends him, the husband to be only for your virtue, and +the lover to have the whole affection and tenderness of a heart +known to be full of kindness. + +ALC. In truth, Amphitryon, you must be jesting, to talk thus; I +should be afraid anyone who heard you would think you were not sane. + +JUP. There is more reason in this discourse, Alcmene, than you +think. But a longer stay here would render me guilty, and time +presses for my return to port. Adieu. The stern call of duty tears +me away from you for a time; but, lovely Alcmene, I beseech you at +least to think of the lover when you see the husband. + +ALC. I do not separate what the Gods unite: both husband and lover +are very precious to me. + +CLE. O Heaven! How delightful are the caresses of an ardently +cherished husband! How far my poor husband is from all this tenderness! + +MERC. I must tell Night she has but to furl all her sails; the Sun +may now arise from his bed and put out the stars. + +SCENE IV + +CLEANTHIS, MERCURY (Mercury turns to go away) + +CLE. So? Is it thus you quit me? + +MERC. What would you have? Do you wish me not to do my duty, and +follow in Amphitryon's footsteps? + +CLE. To separate from me so rudely as this, you villain! + +MERC. It is a fine subject to make a fuss about! We have still +plenty of time to live together! + +CLE. But to go in such a churlish manner, without saying a single +kind word to cheer me! + +MERC. Where the deuce shall I dig up silly compliments? Fifteen +years of married life exhaust nonsense; we said all we had to say to +each other a long time ago. + +CLE. Look at Amphitryon, you rascal; see how his ardour burns for +Alcmene; and then blush for the little passion that you show your wife. + +MERC. But, gracious me! Cleanthis, they are still lovers. There +comes a certain age when all this passes away; what suits them well +in these early days would look ridiculous in us, old married people. +It would be it fine sight to see us embracing each other, and saying +sweet nothings! + +CLE. Oh! You perfidious wretch, must I give up hope that a heart sighs for me? + +MERC. No, I should be sorry to say that; but I have too long a beard +to dare to sigh; I should make you die of laughter. + +CLE. You brute, do you deserve the good fortune of having a virtuous +woman for your wife? + +MERC. Good Heavens! You are but too virtuous; this fine virtue is +not worth anything to me. Do not be quite so honest a woman, and +don't bother me so much. + +CLE. What? Do you blame me for being too honest? + +MERC. A woman's gentleness is what charms me most: your virtue makes +a clatter that never ceases to deafen me. + +CLE. You care for hearts full of false tenderness, for those women +with the laudable and fine talent of knowing how to smother their +husbands with caresses in order to make them oblivious of the +existence of lovers. + +MERC. Well! Shall I tell you what I think? An imaginary evil +concerns fools only; my device should be: 'Less honour and more peace.' + +CLE. Would you, without any repugnance, suffer me openly to love a gallant? + +MERC. Yes, if I were no longer worried by your tongue, and if it +changed your temper and your goings-on. I prefer a convenient vice, +to a fatiguing virtue. Adieu, Cleanthis, my dear soul; I must follow +Amphitryon. (He goes away.) + +CLE Why has not my heart sufficient resolution to punish this +infamous scoundrel? Ah, how it maddens me, now, that I am an honest woman! + +END OF THE FIRST ACT + +ACT Il + +SCENE I + +AMPHITRYON, SOSIE + +AMPH. Come here, you rascal, come here. Do you know, Master Villain, +that your talk is sufficient to cause me to knock you down, and that +my wrath waits only for a stick to thrash you as I intend? + +SOS. If you take it in that way, Monsieur, I have nothing more to +say; you will be always in the right. + +AMPH. So? You scoundrel, you wish to impose upon me as truths tales +which I know to be extravagantly far-fetched? + +SOS. No; I am the servant, and you are the master; it shall not be +otherwise than you wish it, Monsieur. + +AMPH. Come, I will choke down the anger that inflames me, and hear +all you have to say about your mission. I must unravel this +confusion before I see my wife. Collect your senses, think well over +what you say, and answer each question word for word. + +SOS. But, lest I make a mistake, tell me, I beseech you, beforehand, +in what way it would please you to have this affair healed. Shall I +speak, Monsieur, according to my conscience, or as usual when near +the great? Shall I tell the truth or use a certain complaisance? + +AMPH. No; I only wish you to give me a perfectly unvarnished account. + +SOS. Good. That is enough; leave it to me; you have, but to interrogate me. + +AMPH. Upon the order which I lately gave you . . . + +SOS. I set forth under skies veiled in black crape, swearing +bitterly against you for this wretched martyrdom, and cursing twenty +times the order of which you speak. + +AMPH. What do you mean, you villain? + +SOS. You have only to speak, Monsieur, and I shall lie, if you desire it. + +AMPH. That is how a valet shows his zeal for us. Never mind. What +happened to you on the way? + +SOS. I had a mortal fright at the least thing I met. + +AMPH. Poltroon! + +SOS. Nature has her caprices in forming us; she gives us differing +inclinations; some find a thousand delights in exposing themselves; +I find them in taking care of myself. + +AMPH. When you arrived at the house...? + +SOS. When I reached the door, I wished to rehearse to myself for a +short time, in what tone and in what manner I should give a glorious +account of the battle. + +AMPH. What followed? + +SOS. Some one came to annoy and trouble me. + +AMPH. Who was he? + +SOS. Sosie; another I, jealous of your orders, whom you sent to +Alcmene from the port, and who has as full knowledge of our secrets +as I who am speaking to you. + +AMPH. What nonsense! + +SOS. No, Monsieur, it is the simple truth: this I was at your house +sooner than I; and, I swear to you, I was there before I had arrived. + +AMPH. Pray, where does all this cursed nonsense come from? Is it a +dream? Is it drunkenness? Mind-wandering? Or a sorry joke? + +SOS. No, it is the thing as it is, and by no means an idle tale. I +am a man of honour, I give you my word, and you must please believe +it. I tell you, believing I was but one Sosie, I found myself two at +your house; and of these two I's, piqued with jealousy, one is at +the house, and the other is with you; the I who is here, tired out, +found the other I fresh, jolly and active, having no other anxiety +than to fight and break bones. + +AMPH. I confess I must be of a very placid temper, very peaceable, +very gentle, to permit a valet to entertain me with such nonsense! + +SOS. If you become angry, no more conference between us: you know +all will be over at once. + +AMPH. No; I will listen to you without being carried away; I +promised it. But tell me in good earnest, is there any shadow of +likelihood in this new mystery which you have just told me? + +SOS. No; you are right, the matter must appear to everyone past +credit. It is a fact past understanding, an extravagant, ridiculous, +far-fetched tale: it shocks common sense; but it is none the less a fact. + +AMPH. How can anyone believe it, unless he has taken leave of his senses? + +SOS. I myself did not believe it without extreme difficulty: I +thought I was losing my senses when I saw myself two, and, for a +long time, I treated my other self as an impostor: but he compelled +me in the end to recognise myself; I saw it was I, without any +trickery; from head to foot he is like me-handsome, a noble air, +well built, charming manners; in fact, two peas do not resemble each +other more; were it not that his hands are a little too heavy, I +should be perfectly satisfied. + +AMPH. I had need exhort myself to patience! But did you not in the +end go into the house? + +SOS. Good, go in! Ah! In what fashion? Have I never wished to listen +to reason? Did I not forbid myself to enter our door? + +AMPH. In what way? + +SOS. With a stick, my back still aches from it. + +AMPH. You have been thrashed? + +SOS. Truly. + +AMPH. And by whom? + +SOS. Myself. + +AMPH. You have thrashed yourself? + +SOS. Yes, I; not the I who is here, but the I from the house, who +whacks soundly. + +AMPH. Heaven confound you for talking to me like this! + +SOS. I am not joking; the I whom I have just met has great +advantages over the I who speaks to you. He has a strong arm and +great courage; I have had proofs of both; this devil of an I has +licked me soundly; he is a fellow who can do wonders. + +AMPH. Let us, cease this. Have you seen my wife? + +SOS. No. + +AMPH. Why not? + +SOS. For a sufficiently strong reason. + +AMPH. Who hindered you, scoundrel? Explain yourself. + +SOS. Must I repeat the same thing twenty times? I, I tell you, this +I who is more robust than I, this I who took possession of the door +by force, this I who made me slope off, this I who wishes to be the +only I, this I who is jealous of myself, this valiant I, whose anger +made itself known to this poltroon of an I, in fact, this I who is +at our house, this I who has shown himself to be my master, this I +who has racked me with pain. + +AMPH. His brain must be addled by having had too much to drink this morning. + +SOS. May I be hanged if I have had anything to drink but water: I +take my oath on it. + +AMPH. Then your senses must have been fast asleep: some silly dream +has shown you all these fairy tales and confused mysteries which you +wish me to take for truths. + +SOS. That is just as far away from the truth. I have not slept, and +I do not even feel inclined that way. I am speaking to you wide- +awake; I was wide awake this morning, upon my life! And the other +Sosie was also wide-awake, when he drubbed me so well. + +AMPH. Follow me; I order you to be silent. You tire my brain too +much; I must be an out-and-out fool to have the patience to listen +to the nonsense a valet has to say. + +SOS. All talk is nonsense that comes from a man who is unknown. If a +great man were to say it, it would be exquisite language. + +AMPH. Let us go in without waiting any longer. But here comes +Alcmene clothed in all her charms. Doubtless she does not expect me +so soon, and my arrival will surprise her. + +SCENE II + +ALCMENE, CLEANTHIS, AMPHITRYON, SOSIE + +ALC. Come, Cleanthis, let us attend the Gods, pay them our homage +for my husband's sake, and thank them for the glorious success, of +which Thebes, by his arm, reaps the advantage. O ye Gods! + +AMPH. Heaven grant that victorious Amphitryon may be met with +renewed pleasure by his wife: that this day may be favourable to my +passion, and restore you to me with the same heart: may I again find +as much love as my heart brings to you! + +ALC. Ah! Have you returned so soon. + +AMPH. Really, you give me but a sorry proof of your love; this, 'Ah! +have you returned so soon?' is scarcely the language a heart really +inflamed with love would use on such an occasion as this. I dared to +flatter myself I had remained away from you too long. The +expectation of an ardently longed for return makes each moment seem +of great length; the absence of what we love, however brief it may +be, is always too long. + +ALC. I do not see . . . + +AMPH. No, Alcmene, time is measured in such cases by one's +impatience; you count the moments of absence as one who does not +love. When we really love, the slightest separation kills us; the +one whom we love to see never returns too soon. I confess that the +love I bear you has cause to complain of your reception; I expected +different expressions of joy and tenderness from your heart. + +ALC. I cannot understand on what you found the words you have just +uttered; if you complain of me, upon my word I do not know what +would satisfy you. I think I showed a sufficiently tender joy last +night, at your happy return; my heart responded by every means you +could wish to the claims of your affection. + +AMPH. In what way? + +ALC. Did I not clearly show the sudden transports of a perfect joy? +Could a heart's feelings be better expressed at the return of a +husband who is tenderly loved? + +AMPH. What do you say? + +ALC. That even your affection showed an inconceivable joy at my +reception; and that, as you left me at break of day, I do not see +that my surprise at this sudden return is so guilty. + +AMPH. Did you, in a dream last night, Alcmene, anticipate in idea +the reality of my hastened return; and having, perhaps, treated me +kindly in your sleep, does your heart think it has fully acquitted +itself of its duty to my passion? + +ALC. Has some malignant vapour in your mind, Amphitryon, clouded the +truth of last night's return? Does your heart pretend to take away +from me the credit of all the gentle affection I showed you in my +tender welcome? + +AMPH. This vapour you attribute to me seems to me somewhat strange. + +ALC. It is in return for the dream which you attribute to me. + +AMPH. Unless it is because of a dream, what you have just now told +me is entirely inexcusable. + +ALC. Unless it is a vapour which troubles your mind, what I have +heard from you cannot be justified. + +AMPH. Let us leave this vapour for a moment, Alcmene. + +ALC. Let us leave this dream for a moment, Amphitryon. + +AMPH. One cannot jest on the subject in question without being carried too far. + +ALC. Undoubtedly; and, as a sure proof of it, I begin to feel somewhat uneasy. + +AMPH. Is it thus you wish to try to make amends for the welcome of +which I complain? + +ALC. Do you desire to try to amuse yourself by this feint? + +AMPH. For Heaven's, sake, I beseech you, Alcmene! Let us cease this, +and talk seriously. + +ALC. You carry your amusement too far, Amphitryon: let there be an +end to this raillery. + +AMPH. Do you really dare maintain to my face that I was seen here +before this hour? + +ALC. Have you really the assurance to deny that you came here early +yesterday evening? + +AMPH. I! I came yesterday? + +ALC. Certainly; and you went away again before dawn. + +AMPH. Heavens! Was ever such a debate as this heard before? Who +would not be astonished at all this? Sosie? + +SOS. She needs six grains of hellebore, Monsieur; her brain is turned. + +AMPH. Alcmene, in the name of all the Gods, this discourse will have +a strange ending! Recollect your senses a little better, and think +what you say. + +ALC. I am indeed thinking seriously; all in the house saw your +arrival. I am ignorant what motive makes you act thus; but, if the +thing were in need of proof, if it were true that such a thing could +be forgotten, from whom, but from you, could I have heard the news +of the latest of all your battles, and of the five diamonds worn by +Pterelas, who was plunged into eternal night by the strength of your +arm? Could one wish for surer testimony? + +AMPH. What? I have already given you the cluster of diamonds which I +had for my share, and intended for you? + +ALC. Assuredly. It is not difficult to convince you thoroughly on that point. + +AMPH. How? + +ALC. Here it is. + +AMPH. Sosie! + +SOS. She is jesting: I have it here; Monsieur, the feint is useless. + +AMPH. The seal is whole. + +ALC. Is it a vision? There. Will you think this proof strong enough? + +AMPH. Ah Heaven! O just Heaven! + +ALC. Come, Amphitryon, you are joking in acting thus: you ought to +be ashamed of it. + +AMPH. Break this seal, quickly. + +SOS. (Having opened the casket.) Upon my word, the casket is empty. +It must have been taken out by witchcraft, or else it came by itself +a guide, to her whom it knew it was intended to adorn. + +AMPH. O Gods, whose power governs all things, what is this +adventure? What can I augur from it that does not clutch at my heart? + +SOS. If she speaks the truth, we have the same lot, and, like me, +Monsieur, you are double. + +AMPH. Be silent. + +ALC. Why are you so surprised? What causes all this confusion? + +AMPH. O Heaven! What strange perplexity! I see incidents which +surpass Nature, and my honour fears an adventure which my mind does +not understand. + +ALC. Do you still wish to deny your hasty return, when you have this +sensible proof of it? + +AMPH. No; but if it be possible, deign to tell me what passed at this return. + +ALC. Since you ask an account of the matter, you still say it was not you? + +AMPH. Pardon me; but I have a certain reason which makes me ask you +to give us this account. + +ALC. Have the important cares which perhaps engross you made you so +quickly lose the remembrance of it? + +AMPH. Perhaps; but, in short, you would please me by telling me the +whole story. + +ALC. The story is not long. I advanced towards you full of a +delighted surprise; I embraced you tenderly, and showed my joy more +than once. + +AMPH. (to himself.) Ah! I could have done without so sweet a welcome. + +ALC. You first made me this valuable gift, which you destined for me +from the spoils of the conquered. Your heart vehemently unfolded to +me all the violence of its love, and the annoying duties which had +kept it enchained, the happiness of seeing me again, the torments of +absence, all the care which your impatience to return had given you; +never has your love, on similar occasions, seemed to me so tender +and so passionate. + +AMPH. (to himself.) Can one be more cruelly tortured? + +ALC. As you may well believe, these transports and this tenderness +did not displease me; if I must confess it, Amphitryon, my heart +found a thousand charms in them. + +AMPH. What followed, pray? + +ALC. We interrupted each other with a thousand questions concerning +each other. The table was laid. We supped together by ourselves; +and, supper over, we went to bed. + +AMPH. Together? + +ALC. Assuredly. What a question? + +AMPH. Ah; this is the most cruel stroke of all; my jealous passion +trembled to assure itself of this. + +ALC. Why do you blush so deeply at a word? Have I done something +wrong in going to bed with you? + +AMPH. No, to my great misery, it was not I; whoever says I was here +yesterday, tells, of all falsehoods, the most horrible. + +ALC. Amphitryon! + +AMPH. Perfidious woman! + +ALC. Ah! What madness is this! + +AMPH. No, no; no more sweetness, no more respect; this rebuff puts +an end to all my constancy; at this ghastly moment, my heart +breathes only fury and, vengeance. + +ALC. On whom then would you be avenged? What want of faith in me +makes you treat me now as a criminal? + +AMPH. I do not know, but it was not I; this despair makes me capable +of anything. + +ALC. Away unworthy husband, the deed speaks for itself, the +imposture is frightful. It is too great an insult to accuse me of +infidelity. If these confused transports mean that you seek a +pretext to break the nuptial bonds which hold me enchained to you, +all these pretences are superfluous, for I am determined that this +day all our ties shall be broken. + +AMPH. After the unworthy affront, which I now learn has been done +me, that is indeed what you must prepare yourself for; it is the +least that can be expected; and things may not perhaps remain there. +The dishonour is sure; my misery is made plain to me; and my pride +in vain would hide it from me. The details are still not clear: My +anger is just and I claim to be enlightened. Your brother can +positively avouch that I did not leave him until this morning: I +will go and seek him, in order that I may confound you about the +return falsely imputed to me. Afterwards, we will penetrate to the +bottom of a mystery unheard of until now; and, in the fury of a +righteous anger, woe to him who has betrayed me! + +SOS. Monsieur . . . + +AMPH. Do not accompany me, but remain here for me. + +CLE. Must I . . .? + +ALC. I cannot hear anything: leave me alone: do not follow me. + +SCENE III + +CLEANTHIS, SOSIE + +CLE. Something must have turned his brain; but the brother will soon +finish this quarrel. + +SOS. This is a very sharp blow for my master; his fate is cruel. I +greatly fear something coming for myself. I will go softly in enlightening her. + +CLE. Let me see whether he will so much as speak to me! I will not +reveal anything. + +SOS. These things are often annoying when one knows about them: I +hesitate to ask her. Would it not be better not to risk anything, +and to ignore what may have happened? Yet, at all hazard, I must +see. I cannot help myself. Curiosity concerning things which one +would rather not know is a human weakness. Heaven preserve you, Cleanthis! + +CLE. Ah! Ah! You dare to come near me, you villain! + +SOS. Good Heavens! What is the matter with you? You are always in a +temper, and become angry about nothing! + +CLE. What do you call about nothing? Speak out. + +SOS. I call about nothing what is called about nothing in verse as +well as in prose; and nothing, as you well know, means to say +nothing, or very little. + +CLE. I do not know what keeps me from scratching your eyes out, +infamous rascal, to teach you how far the anger of a woman can go. + +SOS. Hullo! What do you mean by this furious rage? + +CLE. Then you call that nothing, perhaps, which you have done to me? + +SOS. What was that? + +CLE. So? You feign to be innocent? Do you follow the example of your +master and say you did not return here? + +SOS. No, I know the contrary too well; but I will be frank with you. +We had drunk some wretched wine, which might have made me forget what I did. + +CLE. You think, perhaps, to excuse yourself by this trick, . . . + +SOS. No, in truth you may believe me. I was in such a condition that +I may have done things I should regret; I do not remember what they were. + +CLE. You do not even remember the manner in which you thought fit to +treat me when you came from the port? + +SOS. Not at all. You had better tell me all about it; I am just and +sincere, and would condemn myself were I wrong. + +CLE.Well? Amphitryon having warned me of your return, I sat up until +you came; but I never saw such coldness: I had myself to remind you +that you had a wife; and, when I wanted to kiss you, you, turned +away your head, and gave me your ear. + +SOS. Good. + +CLE. What do you mean by good? + +SOS. Good gracious! You do not know why I talk like this, Cleanthis: +I had been eating garlic, and, like a well-bred man, just turned my +breath away from you. + +CLE. I showed you every possible tenderness; but you were as deaf as +a post to everything I said; never a kind word passed your lips. + +SOS. Courage! + +CLE. In short, my flame bad to burn alone, its chaste ardour did not +find anything in you but ice; you were the culprit in a return that +might have been so different: you even went so far as to refuse to +take your place in bed, which the laws of wedlock oblige you to occupy. + +SOS. What? Did I not go to bed? + +CLE. No, you coward. + +SOS. Is it possible? + +CLE. It is but too true, you rascal. Of all affronts this affront is +the greatest; and, instead of your heart repairing its wrong this +morning, you left me with words full of undisguised contempt. + +SOS. Vivat Sosie! + +CLE. Eh, what? Has my complaint had this effect? You laugh at your +fine goings on? + +SOS. How pleased I am with myself! + +CLE. Is this the way to express your grief at such an outrage? + +SOS. I should never have believed I could be so prudent. + +CLE. Instead of condemning yourself for such a perfidious trick, you +rejoice at it to my face! + +SOS. Good gracious! Gently, gently! If I appear pleased, you must +believe that I have a very strong private reason for it; without +thinking of it, I never did better than in using you in such a manner as I did. + +CLE. Are you laughing at me, you villain? + +SOS. No, I am speaking openly to you. I was in a wretched state. I +had a certain load, which your words have lifted from my soul. I was +very apprehensive, and feared that I had played the fool with you. + +CLE. What is this fear? Come, let us know what you mean. + +SOS. The doctors say that, when one is drunk, one should abstain +from one's wife, for, in that condition we can only have children +who are dull, and who cannot live. Think, if my heart had not armed +itself with coldness, what troubles might have followed! + +CLE. I do not care a fig for doctors, with their insipid reasonings. +Let them rule those who are sick without wishing to govern healthy +people. They meddle with too many affairs when they seek to rein in +our chaste desires; in addition to the dog days, and their strict +rules, they tell us a hundred ridiculous stories into the bargain. + +SOS. Gently. + +CLE. No; I maintain theirs is a worthless conclusion: those reasons +come from idiotic brains. Neither wine nor time ought to prevent the +duties of conjugal love from being fulfilled; doctors are donkeys. + +SOS. I entreat you, moderate your anger against them; they are +honest people, whatever the world may say of them. + +CLE. Things are not what you think them; you can shut up; your +excuse will not go down; and, sooner or later, I tell you plainly, I +will avenge myself for the contempt you show me every day. I +remember everything you said just now, and I shall try to make use +of the liberty you gave me, You faithless, cowardly husband. + +SOS. What? + +CLE. You told me just now, you villain, that you would heartily +agree to my loving another. + +SOS. Ah! In that matter I was wrong. I retract; my honour is at +stake. You had better beware you do not give way to that sentiment. + +CLE. Nevertheless if some time I can make up my mind to the thing . . . + +SOS. Just stop talking for the present. Amphitryon is coming back, +and he seems pleased. + +SCENE IV + +JUPITER, CLEANTHIS, SOSIE + +JUP. I shall take this opportunity of appearing to Alcmene to banish +the sorrow in which she wishes to indulge, and, under the pretence +that brings me here, I will gratify my passion with the delight of a +reconciliation with her. Alcmene is upstairs, is she not? + +CLE. Yes; she is thoroughly upset and wishes to be left alone: she +has forbidden me to follow her. + +JUP. Whatever prohibition she may have given you does not concern me. + +CLE. So far as I can see, his grief has beaten a quick retreat. + +SCENE V + +CLEANTHIS, SOSIE + +SOS. What do you say, Cleanthis, to these cheerful looks, after his +terrible rage? + +CLE. That we should all do well to send all men to the devil; the +best of them is not worth much. + +SOS. You say that because you are in a passion; but you are too fond +of men; upon my word, you would all look as black as thunder if the +devil were to take them all away. + +CLE. Really . . . + +SOS. Here they come. Hush. + +SCENE VI + +JUPITER, ALCMENE, CLEANTHIS, SOSIE + +JUP. Do you want to drive me to despair? Alas! Stay, lovely Alcmene. + +ALC. No, I cannot remain longer with the author of my grief. + +JUP. I beseech you + +ALC. Leave me. + +JUP. What . . .? + +ALC. Leave me, I tell you. + +JUP. Her tears touch me to the heart; her sorrow troubles me. Allow me to + +ALC. No, do not follow me, + +JUP. Where are you going? + +ALC. Where you are not. + +JUP. That would be a vain attempt to make. I am linked to your +beauty by too close a bond to suffer a moment's separation from you. +I shall follow you everywhere, Alcmene. + +ALC. And I shall flee from you everywhere. + +JUP. I am very terrible, then! + +ALC. Yes, more than I can say. Indeed, I look upon you as a +frightful monster, a cruel, furious monster, whose approach is to be +feared; as a monster to be avoided everywhere. My heart suffers +incredible grief at the sight of you; it is a torture that +overpowers me; I do not know anything under Heaven so frightful, +horrible and odious, that I could not better endure than you. + +JUP. Alas! Do these words really come from your mouth? + +ALC. I have many more in my heart; I only regret I cannot find words +to express all I feel. + +JUP. Ah! What has my heart done to you, Alcmene, that I should be +looked upon as such a monster? + +ALC. Oh! Just Heaven! He can ask that? Is it not enough to drive me mad? + +JUP. Yet, in a milder spirit . . . + +ALC. No; I do not wish either to see or to hear anything of you. + +JUP. Have you really the heart to treat me thus? Is this the tender +love which I heard yesterday was to last so long? + +ALC. No, no, it is not; your base insults have ordained it +otherwise. That passionate and tender love does not exist any +longer; you have cruelly killed it in my heart by a hundred keen +wounds. In its place stands an inflexible wrath, a lively +resentment, an invincible indignation, the despair of a heart justly +incensed, which resolves to hate you for this grievous injury, as +much as it was willing to love you; that is to say to hate as much as possible. + +JUP. Alas! Your love must have had but little strength, if it can be +killed by so slight a matter! Can a jest divorce us? Is there any +need to be so roused at a trifle? + +ALC. Ah! It is just that which offends me: that which my anger +cannot pardon. I should have felt less wounded by the justifiable +transports of a fit of jealousy. Jealousy makes impressions the +force of which oftentimes carries us beyond our control; at such +times the most discreet mind, no doubt, finds it difficult enough to +answer for its deeds. The violence of a heart which may have been +deluded has, in its very delusion, a peace-offering for an aggrieved +soul, and the love that gave birth to its fears, furnishes, in spite +of all its violence, at least some reasons to urge as excuse. +Outbursts such as these ever have love as an excuse against anger: +for love gave birth to them, and we can easily pardon what we cannot control. + +But to fly into uncontrollable fury, in gaiety of heart, and so +causelessly and keenly to wound the tenderness and honour of a heart +that dearly loves you, ah! It is too cruel a blow: my grief can +never forget it. + +JUP. Yes, you are right, Alcmene; I admit it. This action is +unquestionably an odious crime; I do not pretend to justify it +longer: yet allow my heart to defend itself in your eyes, and let it +reveal to you who is to blame for this insulting fury. To tell you +frankly, it is the husband Alcmene, who has done this wrong; it is +the husband whom you must blame. The lover has no share in this +churlish anger: his heart is not capable of offending you. He has +too much respect and affection for you ever to think of it; had he +been guilty of the crime of doing aught that could wound you, he +would pierce himself with a hundred stabs before your eyes. But the +husband has cast aside that humble submission which should always be +yours; by his harsh deeds, the husband has made himself known; he +thought the rights of marriage allowed him everything. Yes, it is he +no doubt who is guilty towards you; he only has ill-treated your +lovely person. Hate, detest the husband; I consent to it; I yield +him to your mercy; but, Alcmene, spare the lover from the anger +which such an offence gives you; do not let him suffer; +differentiate between him and the guilty one; and, finally, in order +to be just, do not punish him for what he has not done. + +ALC. Oh! All these subtleties are but frivolous excuses; such +language only annoys incensed minds. In vain do you use these +ridiculous prevarications. I do not make any distinction in him who +offends me; everything in him becomes the object of my anger, the +lover and the husband are alike confounded in its just violence. +Both occupy my thoughts; both are painted in the same colours by my +wounded heart. Both are guilty; both have offended me; and both are +odious to me. + +JUP. Well! Then, since you wish it, I must charge myself with the +offence. Yes, you are right, when you sacrifice me as a guilty +victim to your resentment. Anger towards me sways you; it is but too +just, and all the terrible wrath you show causes me to suffer only +lawful torments. It is right you should shun my presence, and in +your anger threaten to flee from me everywhere. I must be a +detestable object to you; you are right in thinking ill of me. My +crime in being offensive in your charming eyes surpasses every +horror; it is a crime that offends men and Gods; in short, as +punishment for my insolence I deserve that your hatred should vent +its utmost upon me. I beg your forgiveness, I beg it upon my knees, +I beg it for the sake of the most lively passion, of the tenderest +love for you, which has ever been kindled in a human breast. If, +charming Alcmene, your heart refuses me the pardon which I have the +audacity to seek, then shall a well-aimed stroke put an end to my +life, and release me from the harsh severity of a penalty which I +can no longer bear. Yes, this state of things drives me to despair. +Do not think, Alcmene, that, enamoured as I am of your celestial +charms, I can live a day under your wrath. Even these moments' agony +is barbarously prolonged and my sad heart sinks under their mortal +blows. The cruel wounds of a thousand vultures are not comparable in +any way to my lively grief. Alcmene, you have but to tell me I need +not hope for pardon: and immediately this sword, by a happy thrust, +shall pierce the heart of a miserable wretch before your eyes. This +heart, this traitorous heart, too deserving of death, since it has +offended an adorable being, will be happy if, in descending into the +place of shades, my death appeases your anger, and, after this +wretched day, it leaves in your soul no impression of hatred in +remembering my love! This is all I ask as a sovereign favour. + +ALC. Ah! Cruel husband. + +JUP. Speak, Alcmene, speak. + +ALC. Must I still keep some kindness for you, who insult me by so +many indignities? + +JUP. Whatever resentment an outrage causes us, can it hold out +against the remorse of a heart deeply in love? + +ALC. A heart full of passion would rather expose itself to a +thousand deaths, than offend the object beloved. + +JUP. The more one loves, the easier it is + +ALC. No, do not speak to me any longer about it; you deserve my hatred. + +JUP. You hate me then? + +ALC. I make every effort to do so, and it annoys me to feel that all +your insults do not yet carry my vengeance so far as yield to it. + +JUP. But why this violence, since I offer to kill myself to satisfy +your revenge? Pronounce the sentence and immediately I will obey. + +ALC. It is impossible to wish for another's death if hatred be absent. + +JUP. I cannot live unless you abandon the wrath that overwhelms me, +and unless you grant me the favour of a pardon which I beg at your +feet. Decide to do one or the other quickly: to punish, or to absolve. + +ALC. Alas! The only resolution I can take is but too clearly +apparent. My heart has too plainly betrayed me, for me to wish to +maintain this anger: is it not to say we pardon, when we say we cannot hate? + +JUP. Ah, charming Alcmene, overwhelmed with delight I must... + +ALC. Forbear: I hate myself for such weakness. + +JUP. Go, Sosie, make haste; a sweet joy fills my soul. See what +officers of the army you can find, and ask them to dine with me. +(Softly aside.) Mercury can fill his post, while he is away from here. + +SCENE VII + +CLEANTHIS, SOSIE + +SOS. Come! Now, you see, this couple, Cleanthis. Will you follow +their example, and let us also make peace? Indulge in some slight +reconciliation? + +CLE. For the sake of your lovely mug, Oh yes! I will, and no mistake. + +SOS. What? You will not? + +CLE. No. + +SOS. It doesn't matter to me. So much the worse for you. + +CLE. Well, well, come back. + +SOS. No, not, likely! I shall not do anything of the kind, I shall +be angry. I turn now. + +CLE. Go away, you villain, let me alone; one gets tired now and then +of being an honest woman. + +END OF THE SECOND ACT + +ACT III + +SCENE I + +AMPHITRYON + +Yes, so doubt fate hides him purposely from me; at last am I tired +of trying to find him. I do not know anything that can be more cruel +than my lot. In spite of all my endeavours, I cannot find him whom I +seek; all those I do not seek I find. A thousand tiresome bores, who +do not think they are so, drive me mad with their congratulations on +our feats of arms, although they know little of me. In the cruel +embarrassment and anxiety that troubles me, they all burden me with +their attentions, and their rejoicings make my uneasiness worse. In +vain I try to pass them by, to flee from their persecutions; their +killing friendship stops me on all sides; whilst I reply to the +ardour of their expressions by a nod of the head, I mutter under my +breath a hundred curses on them. Ah! How little we are flattered by +praise, honour and all that a great victory brings, when inwardly we +suffer keen sorrow! How willingly would I exchange all this glory to +have peace of mind! At every turn my jealousy twits me with my +disgrace; the more my mind ponders over it, the less can I unravel +its miserable confusion. The theft of the diamonds does not astonish +me; seals may be tampered with unperceived; but my most cruel +torment is that she insists I gave the gift to her personally +yesterday. Nature oftentimes produces resemblances, which some +impostors have adopted in order to deceive; but it is inconceivable +that, under these appearances, a man should pass himself off as a +husband; there are a thousand differences in a relationship such as +this which a wife could easily detect. The marvellous effects of +Thessalian magic have at all times been renowned; but I have always +looked upon as idle tales the famous stories everyone talks of. It +would be a hard fate if I, after so glorious a victory elsewhere, +should be compelled to believe them at the cost of my own honour. I +will question her again upon this wretched mystery, and see if it is +not a silly fancy that has taken advantage of her disordered brain. +O righteous Heaven, may this thought be true, and may she even have +lost her senses, so that I may be happy! + +SCENE II + +MERCURY, AMPHITRYON + +MERC. Since love does not offer me any pleasure here, I will at +least enjoy myself in another way, and enliven my dismal leisure by +putting Amphitron out of all patience. This may not be very +charitable in a God; but I shall not bother myself about that; my +planet tells me I am somewhat given to malice. + +AMPH. How is it that the door is closed at this hour? + +MERC. Hullo! Gently, gently! Who knocks? + +AMPH. I. + +MERC. Who, I? + +AMPH. Ah! Open. + +MERC. What do you mean by 'open'? Who are you, pray, to make such a +row, and speak like that? + +AMPH. So? You do not know me? + +MERC. No, nor have I the least wish to. + +AMPH. Is every one losing his senses today? Is the malady spreading? +Sosie! Hullo, Sosie! + +MERC. Come, now! Sosie: that is my name; are you afraid I shall forget it? + +AMPH. Do you see me? + +MERC. Well enough. What can possess your arm to make such an uproar? +What do you want down there? + +AMPH. I, you gallows-bird! What do I want? + +MERC. What do you not want then? Speak, if you want to be understood. + +AMPH. Listen, you villain: I will come up with a stick to make you +understand, and give you a fine lesson. How dare you speak to me like that? + +MERC. Softly, softly! If you make the least attempt to create an +uproar, I shall send you down some messengers who will annoy you. + +AMPH. Oh Heavens! Did anyone ever conceive such insolence? And from +a servant, from a beggar? + +MERC. Come, now! What is the matter? Have you gone over everything +correctly? Have your big eyes taken everything in? He glares, so +savage he looks! If looks could bite, he would have torn me to shreds by now. + +AMPH. I tremble at what you are bringing upon yourself with all this +impudent talk. What a frightful storm you are brewing for yourself! +What a tempest of blows will storm down on your back! + +MERC. If you do not soon disappear from here, my friend, you may +come in for some mauling. + +AMPH. Ah! You villain, you shall know to your confusion what it is +for a valet to attack his master. + +MERC. You, my master? + +AMPH. Yes, rascal. Do you dare to say you do not recognise me? + +MERC. I do not recognise any other master than Amphitryon. + +AMPH. And who, besides myself, may this Amphitryon be? + +MERC. Amphitryon? + +AMPH. Certainly. + +MERC. Ah! What an illusion! Come, tell me in what decent tavern you +have addled your brain? + +AMPH. What? Again? + +MERC. Was it a feast-day wine? + +AMPH. Heavens! + +MERC. Was it old or new? + +AMPH. What insults! + +MERC. New goes to one's head, if drunk without water. + +AMPH. Ah! I shall tear your tongue out soon. + +MERC. Pass on, my dear friend; believe me, no one here will listen +to you. I respect wine. Go away, make yourself scarce, and leave +Amphitryon to the pleasures which he is tasting. + +AMPH. What! Is Amphitryon in there? + +MERC. Rather: covered with the laurels of his fine victory, he is +side by side with the lovely Alcmene enjoying the delights of a +charming tete-a-tete. They are tasting the pleasures of being +reconciled, now their love-tiff has blown over. Take care how you +disturb their sweet privacy, unless you wish him to punish you for +your excessive rashness. + +SCENE III + +AMPHITRYON + +Ah! What a frightful blow he has given me! How cruelly has he put me +to confusion! If matters are as this villain says, to what a state +are my honour and my affection reduced? What course can I adopt? Am +I to noise it abroad or keep it secret? Ought I, in my anger, to +keep the dishonour of my house to myself or make it public? Come! +Must one even think what to do in so gross an affront? I have no +standing, nothing to hope for; all my anxiety now shall be how to +avenge myself. + +SCENE IV + +SOSIE, NAUCRATES, POLIDAS, AMPHITRYON + +SOS. All I have been able to do, Monsieur, with all my diligence, is +to have brought these gentlemen here. + +AMPH. Ah! You are here? + +SOS. Monsieur. + +AMPH. Insolent, bold rascal! + +SOS. What? + +AMPH. I shall teach you to treat me thus. + +SOS. What is it? What is the matter with you? + +AMPH. What is the matter with me, villain? + +SOS. Hullo, gentlemen, come here quickly. + +NAU. Ah! Stay, I beseech you. + +SOS. Of what am I guilty? + +AMPH. You ask me that, you scoundrel? Let me satisfy my righteous anger. + +SOS. When they hang any one, they tell him why they do it. + +NAU. At least condescend to tell us what his crime may be. + +SOS. I beseech you, gentlemen, keep a tight hold of me. + +AMPH. Yes! He has just had the audacity to shut the door in my face, +and to add threats to a thousand impudent jeers! Ah! You villain! + +SOS. I am dead. + +NAU. Restrain this anger. + +SOS. Gentlemen. + +POL. What is it? + +SOS. Has he struck me? + +AMPH. No, he must have his reward for the language he has made free +to use just now. + +SOS. How could that be when I was elsewhere busy carrying out your +orders? These gentlemen here can bear witness that I have just +invited them to dine with you. + +NAU. That is true: he has just delivered us this message, and would +not quit us. + +AMPH. Who gave you that order? + +SOS. You. + +AMPH. When? + +SOS. After you made your peace, when you were rejoicing at the +delight of having appeased Alcmene's anger. + +AMPH. O Heaven! Every instant, every step, adds something to my +cruel martyrdom; I am so utterly confused that I no longer know +either what to believe or what to say. + +NAU. All he has just told us, of what has happened at your house, +surpasses what is natural so much, that before doing anything and +before flying into such a passion, you ought to clear up the whole +of this adventure. + +AMPH. Come; you can second my efforts; Heaven has brought you here +most opportunely. Let me see what fortune brings me today; let me +solve this mystery, and know my fate. Alas! I burn to learn it, and +I dread it more than death. + +SCENE V + +JUPITER, AMPHITRYON, NAUCRATES, POLIDAS, SOSIE + +JUP. What is this noise that compels me to come down? Who knocks as +though he were master where I am master? + +AMPH. Good Gods! What do I see? + +NAU. Heaven! What prodigy is this? What? Here are two Amphitryons! + +AMPH. My soul is struck dumb. Alas! I cannot do anything more: the +adventure is at an end; my fate is clear; what I see tells me all. + +NAU. The more narrowly I watch them, the more I find they resemble each other. + +SOS. Gentlemen, this is the true one; the other is an impostor who +ought to be chastised. + +POL. Truly, this marvellous resemblance keeps my judgment in suspense. + +AMPH. We have been tricked too long by an execrable rogue; I must +break the spell with this steel. + +NAU. Stay. + +AMPH. Leave me alone. + +NAU. Ye Gods! What would you do? + +AMPH. Punish the miserable treachery of an impostor. + +JUP. Gently, gently! There is very little need of being carried away +by passion; when a man bursts out in such a rage as this, it makes +one think he has bad reasons. + +SOS. Yes; it is an enchanter, who has a talisman that enables him to +resemble the masters of houses. + +AMPH. For your share in this insulting language, I shall make you +feel a thousand blows. + +SOS. My master is a man of courage: he will not allow his followers +to be thrashed. + +AMPH. Let me assuage my deep anger, and wash out my affront in the +scoundrel's blood. + +NAU. We shall not suffer this strange combat of Amphitryon against himself. + +AMPH. What? Does my honour receive this treatment from you? Do my +friends undertake the defence of a rogue? Far from being the first +to take up my vengeance, they themselves place obstacles in the way +of my resentment? + +NAU. What do you wish us to decide, when two Amphitryons are before +us and all the warmth of our friendship is in suspense? If we were +now to show towards you, we fear we might make a mistake, and not +recognise you. Truly we see in you the appearance of Amphitryon, the +glorious support of the Thebans' well-being; but we also see the +same appearance in him, and we cannot judge which he is. Our duty is +not doubtful, the impostor ought to bite the dust at our hands; but +this perfect resemblance hides him between you two; and it is too +hazardous a stroke to undertake in the dark. Let us find out quietly +on which side the imposture may be; then, as soon as we have +unravelled the adventure, it will not be necessary for you to tell us our duty. + +JUP. Yes, you are right, this resemblance authorises you to doubt +both of us. I am not offended to see you cannot make up your minds: +I am more reasonable, and excuse you. The eye cannot differentiate +between us. I see one can easily be mistaken. You do not see me give +way to anger, nor draw my sword: that is a bad way to enlighten a +mystery; I can find one more gentle and more certain. One of us is +Amphitryon; and both of us may seem so in your eyes. It is for me to +end this confusion. I intend to make myself so well known to all, +that, at the overwhelming proofs I shall bring forward to show who I +am, be himself shall agree concerning the blood from which I sprang, +and he shall no longer have occasion to say anything. Before all the +Thebans I will reveal the truth to you; the affair is, +unquestionably, of sufficient importance to justify my seeking to +clear it up in the sight of all. Alcmene expects this public +testimony from me; her virtue, which is outraged by the noise of +this mischance, demands justification, and I will see justice is +done it. My love for her compels me to it. I shall call together an +assembly of the noblest chiefs, for the explanation her honour +requires. While waiting with you for these desirable witnesses, I +pray you to condescend to honour the table to which Sosie has invited you. + +SOS. I was not mistaken, gentlemen, this word puts an end to all +irresolution: the real Amphitryon is the Amphitryon who gives dinners. + +AMPH. O Heaven! Can my humiliation go further? Must I indeed suffer +the martyrdom of listening to all that this impostor has just said +to my face, my arms bound, though his words drive me mad? + +NAU. You are wrong to complain. Let us await the explanation which +shall render resentment seasonable. I do not know whether he imposes +upon us or not; but he speaks on the matter as though he were right. + +AMPH. Go, you weak-kneed friends, and flatter the imposture. Thebes +has other friends who will flock round me, different from you. I +will go and find some who, sharing the insult, will know bow to lend +their hand in my just cause. + +JUP. Ah well! I await them; I shall know how to decide the +discussion in their presence. + +AMPH. You rogue, you think perhaps to evade justice thus; but +nothing shall shield you from my vengeance. + +JUP. I shall not now condescend to answer this insulting language; +soon I shall be able to confound your fury with two words. + +AMPH. Not Heaven, not Heaven itself can protect you: I shall dog +your footsteps even to Hell. + +JUP. It will not be necessary; you will soon see I shall not fly away. + +AMPH. Now, before he goes away with these, I will make haste to +gather together friends who will aid my cause; they will come to my +house and help me to pierce him with a thousand thrusts. + +JUP. No ceremony, I implore you; let us go quickly into the house. + +NAU. Really, this adventure utterly confounds the senses and the reason. + +SOS. A truce, gentlemen, to all your surprises; let us joyfully sit +down to feed until the morning. I intend to feast well, so that I +may be in good condition to relate our valiant deeds! I am itching +to attack the dishes; I never felt so hungry. + +SCENE VI + +MERCURY, SOSIE + +MERC. Stop. What have you come to poke your nose in here for, you +impudent turn-spit? + +SOS. Ah! Gently, gently, for mercy's sake! + +MERC. Ah! You have come back again! I shall tan your hide for you. + +SOS. Ah! Brave and generous I, compose yourself, I beseech you. +Sosie, spare Sosie a little, and do not divert yourself by knocking +yourself down. + +MERC. Who gave you liberty to call yourself by that name? Did I not +expressly forbid you to do so, under penalty of experiencing a +thousand cuts from the cane? + +SOS. It is a name we both may bear at the same time, under the same +master. I am recognised as Sosie everywhere; I permit you to be he, +permit me to be so, too. Let us leave it to the two Amphitryons to +give vent to their jealousies, and, though they contend, let the two +Sosies live in the bonds of peace. + +MERC. No, one is quite enough; I am determined not to allow any division. + +SOS. You shall have precedence over me; I will be the younger, and +you shall be the elder. + +MERC. No: a brother is a nuisance, and not to my taste; I intend to +be the only son. + +SOS. O barbarous and tyrannical heart! Allow me at least to be your shadow. + +MERC. Not at all. + +SOS. Let your soul humanise itself with a little pity! Allow me to +be near you in that capacity: I shall be everywhere so submissive a +shadow that you will be pleased with me. + +MERC. No quarter; the law is immutable. If you again have the +audacity to go in there, a thousand blows shall be the fruit. + +SOS. Alas! Poor Sosie, to what miserable disgrace are you reduced! + +MERC. So? Your lips presume again to give yourself a name I forbid! + +SOS. No, I did not intend myself; I was speaking of an old Sosie, +who was formerly a relative of mine, and whom, with the utmost +barbarity, they drove out of the house at dinner hour. + +MERC. Take care you do not fall into that idiocy if you wish to +remain among the number of the living. + +SOS. How I would thwack you if I had the courage, for your wretched +puffed up pride, you double son of a strumpet! + +MERC. What do you say? + +SOS. Nothing. + +MERC. I am sure you muttered something. + +SOS. Ask anyone; I do not breathe. + +MERC. Nevertheless I am absolutely certain that something about a +son of a strumpet struck my ear. + +SOS. It must have been a parrot roused by the beautiful weather. + +MERC. Adieu. If your back itches for a currying, here is where I live. + +SOS. O Heavens! What a cursed hour is the dinner hour to be turned +out of doors! Come, let us yield to fate in our affliction. Let us +today follow blind caprice, and join the unfortunate Sosie to the +unfortunate Amphitryon: it is a suitable union. I see he is coming +in good company. + +SCENE VII + +AMPHITRYON, ARGATIPHONTIDAS, POSICLES, SOSIE + +AMPH. Stay here, gentlemen, follow me a little way off, and do not +all advance, I pray you, until there is need for it. + +POS. I quite understand this blow touches you to the heart. + +AMPH. Ah! My sorrow is bitter through and through: I suffer in my +affection, as much as in my honour. + +POS. If this resemblance is such as is said, Alcmene, without being +guilty . . . + +AMPH. Ah! In this affair, a simple error becomes a veritable crime, +and, though no way consenting, innocence perishes in it. Such +errors, in whatever way we look at them, affect us in the most +sensitive parts; reason often, often pardons them, when honour and love cannot. + +ARGAT. I do not bother my thoughts about that; but I hate your +gentlemen for their disgraceful delay; it is a proceeding which +wounds me to the quick, and one which courageous people will never +approve. When any man has need of us, we ought to throw ourselves +headforemost into his concerns. Argatiphontidas is not one for +compromising matters. It is not seemly for men of honour to listen +to the arguments of a friend's adversary; one should only listen to +vengeance at such times. The proceeding does not please me; in +quarrels such as these we ought always to begin sending the sword +through the body, without any nonsense. Yes, whatever happens, you +shall see that Argatiphontidas goes straight to the point. I entreat +you not to let the villain die by any other hand than mine. + +AMPH. Come on. + +SOS. I come, Monsieur, to undergo at your knees the just punishment +of cursed audacity. Strike, beat, drub, overwhelm me with blows, +kill me in your anger; you will do well, I deserve it; I shall not +say a single word against you. + +AMPH. Get up. What is the matter? + +SOS. I have been turned away unceremoniously; thinking to eat and +rejoice like them, I did not think that, as it turned out, I was +waiting there to thrash myself. Yes, the other I, valet to the +other you, has played the very devil with me once more. The same +cruel fate seems to pursue us both today, Monsieur. In short, they +have un-Sosied me, as they un-Amphitryon'd you. + +AMPH. Follow me. + +SOS. Is it not better to see if anybody is coming? + +SCENE VIII + +CLEANTHIS, NAUCRATES, POLIDAS, SOSIE, AMPHITRYON, + +ARGATIPHONTIDAS, POSICLES + +CLE. O Heaven! + +AMPH. What frightens you like this? Why are you afraid of me? + +CLE. Why! You are up there and I see you here! + +NAU. Do not hurry; here he comes to give, before us all, the +explanation we want. If we may believe what he has just said about +it, it will banish away your trouble and care. + +SCENE IX + +MERCURY, CLEANTHIS, NAUCRATES, POLIDAS, SOSIE, +AMPHITRYON, ARGATIPHONTIDAS, POSICLES + +MERC. Yes, you shall all see him; know beforehand that it is the +grand master of the Gods, whom, under the cherished features of this +resemblance, Alcmene has caused to descend here from the heavens. As +for me, I am Mercury. Not knowing what else to do, I have given him +a drubbing whose appearance I took. He may now console himself, for +strokes from the wand of a God confer honour on him who has to submit to them. + +SOS. Upon my word, Monsieur God, I am your servant; I could have +done without your attentions. + +MERC. I now give you leave to be Sosie. I am tired of wearing such +an ugly mug; I am going to the heavens, to scrape it all off with +ambrosia. (He flies away to the skies.) + +SOS. May Heaven forever keep you from the desire of wishing to come +near me again! Your fury against me has been too bitter; never in my +life have I seen a God who was more of a devil than you! + +SCENE X + +JUPITER, CLEANTHIS, NAUCRATES, POLIDAS, SOSIE, +AMPHITRYON, ARGATIPHONTIDAS, POSICLES + +JUP. (In a cloud,) Behold, Amphitryon, who has imposed on you; under +his own aspect you see Jupiter. By these signs you may easily know +him; they are sufficient, I think, to restore your heart where it +should be to bring back peace and happiness to your family. My name, +which the whole earth continually adores, thus stifles all scandal +that might be spread abroad. A share with Jupiter has nothing that +in the least dishonours, for doubtless, it can be but glorious to +find one's self the rival of the sovereign of the Gods. I do not see +any reason why your love should murmur; it is I, God as I am, who +ought to be jealous in this affair. Alcmene is wholly yours, +whatever means one may employ; it must be gratifying to your passion +to see that there is no other way of pleasing her than to appear as +her husband. Even Jupiter, clothed in his immortal glory, could not +by himself undermine her fidelity; what he has received from her was +granted by her ardent heart only to you. + +SOS. The Seigneur Jupiter knows how to gild the pill. + +JUP. Cast aside, therefore, the black care that stifles your heart; +restore perfect peace to the ardour which consumes you. In your +house shall be born a son, who, under the name of Hercules, shall +cause the vast universe to ring with his deeds. A glorious future +crowned with a thousand blessings shall let every one see I am your +support; I will make your fate the envy of the whole world. You may +boldly flatter yourself with what these promises confer. It is a +crime to doubt them, for the words of Jupiter are the decrees of +fate. (He is lost in the clouds.) + +NAU. Truly, I am delighted at these evident marks . . . + +SOS. Gentlemen, will you please take my advice? Do not embark in +these sugary congratulations; it is a bad speculation; phrases are +embarrassing on either side, in such a compliment. The great God +Jupiter has done us much honour, and, unquestionaby, his kindness +towards us is unparalleled; he promises us the infallible happiness +of a fortune crowned with a thousand blessings, and in our house +shall be born a brave son. Nothing could be better than this. But, +nevertheless, let us cut short our speeches, and each one retire +quietly to his own house. In such affairs as these, it is always +best not to say anything. + + + + + +End of The Project Gutenberg Etext of Amphitryon, A Play by Moliere + diff --git a/old/amphi10.zip b/old/amphi10.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..5e1a712 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/amphi10.zip |