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diff --git a/old/sywer10.txt b/old/sywer10.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..0bbe2f3 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/sywer10.txt @@ -0,0 +1,4606 @@ +The Project Gutenberg Etext of The Sorrows of Young Werther by +J.W. von Goethe +#31 in our series by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe + + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world, be sure to check +the copyright laws for your country before posting these files!! + +Please take a look at the important information in this header. +We encourage you to keep this file on your own disk, keeping an +electronic path open for the next readers. Do not remove this. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**Etexts Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*These Etexts Prepared By Hundreds of Volunteers and Donations* + +Information on contacting Project Gutenberg to get Etexts, and +further information is included below. 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Boylan +Edited by Nathen Haskell Dole + +The Sorrows of Young Werther + + + +PREFACE + + + +I have carefully collected whatever I have been able to learn of +the story of poor Werther, and here present it to you, knowing +that you will thank me for it. To his spirit and character you +cannot refuse your admiration and love: to his fate you will not +deny your tears. + +And thou, good soul, who sufferest the same distress as he endured +once, draw comfort from his sorrows; and let this little book be +thy friend, if, owing to fortune or through thine own fault, thou +canst not find a dearer companion. + +BOOK I + +MAY 4. + +How happy I am that I am gone! My dear friend, what a thing is +the heart of man! To leave you, from whom I have been inseparable, +whom I love so dearly, and yet to feel happy! I know you will +forgive me. Have not other attachments been specially appointed +by fate to torment a head like mine? Poor Leonora! and yet I was +not to blame. Was it my fault, that, whilst the peculiar charms +of her sister afforded me an agreeable entertainment, a passion +for me was engendered in her feeble heart? And yet am I wholly +blameless? Did I not encourage her emotions? Did I not feel +charmed at those truly genuine expressions of nature, which, though +but little mirthful in reality, so often amused us? Did I not -- +but oh! what is man, that he dares so to accuse himself? My dear +friend I promise you I will improve; I will no longer, as has ever +been my habit, continue to ruminate on every petty vexation which +fortune may dispense; I will enjoy the present, and the past shall +be for me the past. No doubt you are right, my best of friends, +there would be far less suffering amongst mankind, if men -- and +God knows why they are so fashioned -- did not employ their +imaginations so assiduously in recalling the memory of past sorrow, +instead of bearing their present lot with equanimity. Be kind +enough to inform my mother that I shall attend to her business to +the best of my ability, and shall give her the earliest information +about it. I have seen my aunt, and find that she is very far from +being the disagreeable person our friends allege her to be. She +is a lively, cheerful woman, with the best of hearts. I explained +to her my mother's wrongs with regard to that part of her portion +which has been withheld from her. She told me the motives and +reasons of her own conduct, and the terms on which she is willing +to give up the whole, and to do more than we have asked. In short, +I cannot write further upon this subject at present; only assure +my mother that all will go on well. And I have again observed, +my dear friend, in this trifling affair, that misunderstandings +and neglect occasion more mischief in the world than even malice +and wickedness. At all events, the two latter are of less frequent +occurrence. + +In other respects I am very well off here. Solitude in this +terrestrial paradise is a genial balm to my mind, and the young +spring cheers with its bounteous promises my oftentimes misgiving +heart. Every tree, every bush, is full of flowers; and one might +wish himself transformed into a butterfly, to float about in this +ocean of perfume, and find his whole existence in it. + +The town itself is disagreeable; but then, all around, you find an +inexpressible beauty of nature. This induced the late Count M to +lay out a garden on one of the sloping hills which here intersect +each other with the most charming variety, and form the most lovely +valleys. The garden is simple; and it is easy to perceive, even +upon your first entrance, that the plan was not designed by a +scientific gardener, but by a man who wished to give himself up +here to the enjoyment of his own sensitive heart. Many a tear +have I already shed to the memory of its departed master in a +summer-house which is now reduced to ruins, but was his favourite +resort, and now is mine. I shall soon be master of the place. +The gardener has become attached to me within the last few days, +and he will lose nothing thereby. + +MAY 10. + +A wonderful serenity has taken possession of my entire soul, like +these sweet mornings of spring which I enjoy with my whole heart. +I am alone, and feel the charm of existence in this spot, which +was created for the bliss of souls like mine. I am so happy, my +dear friend, so absorbed in the exquisite sense of mere tranquil +existence, that I neglect my talents. I should be incapable of +drawing a single stroke at the present moment; and yet I feel that +I never was a greater artist than now. When, while the lovely valley +teems with vapour around me, and the meridian sun strikes the upper +surface of the impenetrable foliage of my trees, and but a few stray +gleams steal into the inner sanctuary, I throw myself down among the +tall grass by the trickling stream; and, as I lie close to the earth, +a thousand unknown plants are noticed by me: when I hear the buzz of +the little world among the stalks, and grow familiar with the countless +indescribable forms of the insects and flies, then I feel the presence +of the Almighty, who formed us in his own image, and the breath of +that universal love which bears and sustains us, as it floats around +us in an eternity of bliss; and then, my friend, when darkness overspreads +my eyes, and heaven and earth seem to dwell in my soul and absorb its +power, like the form of a beloved mistress, then I often think with +longing, Oh, would I could describe these conceptions, could impress +upon paper all that is living so full and warm within me, that it might +be the mirror of my soul, as my soul is the mirror of the infinite +God! O my friend -- but it is too much for my strength -- I sink +under the weight of the splendour of these visions! + +MAY 12. + +I know not whether some deceitful spirits haunt this spot, or +whether it be the warm, celestial fancy in my own heart which +makes everything around me seem like paradise. In front of the +house is a fountain, -- a fountain to which I am bound by a charm +like Melusina and her sisters. Descending a gentle slope, you come +to an arch, where, some twenty steps lower down, water of the +clearest crystal gushes from the marble rock. The narrow wall which +encloses it above, the tall trees which encircle the spot, and the +coolness of the place itself, -- everything imparts a pleasant but +sublime impression. Not a day passes on which I do not spend an +hour there. The young maidens come from the town to fetch water, +-- innocent and necessary employment, and formerly the occupation of +the daughters of kings. As I take my rest there, the idea of the old +patriarchal life is awakened around me. I see them, our old ancestors, +how they formed their friendships and contracted alliances at the +fountain-side; and I feel how fountains and streams were guarded by +beneficent spirits. He who is a stranger to these sensations has +never really enjoyed cool repose at the side of a fountain after the +fatigue of a weary summer day. + +MAY 13. + +You ask if you shall send me books. My dear friend, I beseech you, +for the love of God, relieve me from such a yoke! I need no more +to be guided, agitated, heated. My heart ferments sufficiently of +itself. I want strains to lull me, and I find them to perfection +in my Homer. Often do I strive to allay the burning fever of my +blood; and you have never witnessed anything so unsteady, so +uncertain, as my heart. But need I confess this to you, my dear +friend, who have so often endured the anguish of witnessing my +sudden transitions from sorrow to immoderate joy, and from sweet +melancholy to violent passions? I treat my poor heart like a sick +child, and gratify its every fancy. Do not mention this again: +there are people who would censure me for it. + +MAY 15. + +The common people of the place know me already, and love me, +particularly the children. When at first I associated with them, +and inquired in a friendly tone about their various trifles, some +fancied that I wished to ridicule them, and turned from me in +exceeding ill-humour. I did not allow that circumstance to grieve +me: I only felt most keenly what I have often before observed. +Persons who can claim a certain rank keep themselves coldly aloof +from the common people, as though they feared to lose their importance +by the contact; whilst wanton idlers, and such as are prone to bad +joking, affect to descend to their level, only to make the poor +people feel their impertinence all the more keenly. + +I know very well that we are not all equal, nor can be so; but it +is my opinion that he who avoids the common people, in order not +to lose their respect, is as much to blame as a coward who hides +himself from his enemy because he fears defeat. + +The other day I went to the fountain, and found a young servant-girl, +who had set her pitcher on the lowest step, and looked around to +see if one of her companions was approaching to place it on her +head. I ran down, and looked at her. "Shall I help you, pretty +lass?" said I. She blushed deeply. "Oh, sir!" she exclaimed. +"No ceremony!" I replied. She adjusted her head-gear, and I +helped her. She thanked me, and ascended the steps. + +MAY 17. + +I have made all sorts of acquaintances, but have as yet found no +society. I know not what attraction I possess for the people, so +many of them like me, and attach themselves to me; and then I feel +sorry when the road we pursue together goes only a short distance. +If you inquire what the people are like here, I must answer, "The +same as everywhere." The human race is but a monotonous affair. +Most of them labour the greater part of their time for mere +subsistence; and the scanty portion of freedom which remains to +them so troubles them that they use every exertion to get rid of +it. Oh, the destiny of man! + +But they are a right good sort of people. If I occasionally forget +myself, and take part in the innocent pleasures which are not yet +forbidden to the peasantry, and enjoy myself, for instance, with +genuine freedom and sincerity, round a well-covered table, or +arrange an excursion or a dance opportunely, and so forth, all +this produces a good effect upon my disposition; only I must forget +that there lie dormant within me so many other qualities which +moulder uselessly, and which I am obliged to keep carefully concealed. +Ah! this thought affects my spirits fearfully. And yet to be +misunderstood is the fate of the like of us. + +Alas, that the friend of my youth is gone! Alas, that I ever knew +her! I might say to myself, "You are a dreamer to seek what is +not to be found here below." But she has been mine. I have +possessed that heart, that noble soul, in whose presence I seemed +to be more than I really was, because I was all that I could be. +Good heavens! did then a single power of my soul remain unexercised? +In her presence could I not display, to its full extent, that +mysterious feeling with which my heart embraces nature? Was not +our intercourse a perpetual web of the finest emotions, of the +keenest wit, the varieties of which, even in their very eccentricity, +bore the stamp of genius? Alas! the few years by which she was +my senior brought her to the grave before me. Never can I forget +her firm mind or her heavenly patience. + +A few days ago I met a certain young V--, a frank, open fellow, +with a most pleasing countenance. He has just left the university, +does not deem himself overwise, but believes he knows more than +other people. He has worked hard, as I can perceive from many +circumstances, and, in short, possesses a large stock of information. +When he heard that I am drawing a good deal, and that I know Greek +(two wonderful things for this part of the country), he came to +see me, and displayed his whole store of learning, from Batteaux +to Wood, from De Piles to Winkelmann: he assured me he had read +through the first part of Sultzer's theory, and also possessed a +manuscript of Heyne's work on the study of the antique. I allowed +it all to pass. + +I have become acquainted, also, with a very worthy person, the +district judge, a frank and open-hearted man. I am told it is a +most delightful thing to see him in the midst of his children, of +whom he has nine. His eldest daughter especially is highly spoken +of. He has invited me to go and see him, and I intend to do so +on the first opportunity. He lives at one of the royal hunting-lodges, +which can be reached from here in an hour and a half by walking, +and which he obtained leave to inhabit after the loss of his wife, +as it is so painful to him to reside in town and at the court. + +There have also come in my way a few other originals of a questionable +sort, who are in all respects undesirable, and most intolerable +in their demonstration of friendship. Good-bye. This letter will +please you: it is quite historical. + +MAY 22. + +That the life of man is but a dream, many a man has surmised +heretofore; and I, too, am everywhere pursued by this feeling. +When I consider the narrow limits within which our active and +inquiring faculties are confined; when I see how all our energies +are wasted in providing for mere necessities, which again have no +further end than to prolong a wretched existence; and then that +all our satisfaction concerning certain subjects of investigation +ends in nothing better than a passive resignation, whilst we amuse +ourselves painting our prison-walls with bright figures and brilliant +landscapes, -- when I consider all this, Wilhelm, I am silent. +I examine my own being, and find there a world, but a world rather +of imagination and dim desires, than of distinctness and living +power. Then everything swims before my senses, and I smile and +dream while pursuing my way through the world. + +All learned professors and doctors are agreed that children do not +comprehend the cause of their desires; but that the grown-up should +wander about this earth like children, without knowing whence they +come, or whither they go, influenced as little by fixed motives, +but guided like them by biscuits, sugar-plums, and the rod, -- this +is what nobody is willing to acknowledge; and yet I think it is +palpable. + +I know what you will say in reply; for I am ready to admit that +they are happiest, who, like children, amuse themselves with their +playthings, dress and undress their dolls, and attentively watch +the cupboard, where mamma has locked up her sweet things, and, +when at last they get a delicious morsel, eat it greedily, and +exclaim, "More!" These are certainly happy beings; but others +also are objects of envy, who dignify their paltry employments, +and sometimes even their passions, with pompous titles, representing +them to mankind as gigantic achievements performed for their welfare +and glory. But the man who humbly acknowledges the vanity of all +this, who observes with what pleasure the thriving citizen converts +his little garden into a paradise, and how patiently even the poor +man pursues his weary way under his burden, and how all wish equally +to behold the light of the sun a little longer, -- yes, such a man +is at peace, and creates his own world within himself; and he is +also happy, because he is a man. And then, however limited his +sphere, he still preserves in his bosom the sweet feeling of liberty, +and knows that he can quit his prison whenever he likes. + +MAY 26. + +You know of old my ways of settling anywhere, of selecting a little +cottage in some cosy spot, and of putting up in it with every +inconvenience. Here, too, I have discovered such a snug, comfortable +place, which possesses peculiar charms for me. + +About a league from the town is a place called Walheim. (The reader +need not take the trouble to look for the place thus designated. +We have found it necessary to change the names given in the original.) +It is delightfully situated on the side of a hill; and, by proceeding +along one of the footpaths which lead out of the village, you can +have a view of the whole valley. A good old woman lives there, +who keeps a small inn. She sells wine, beer, and coffee, and is +cheerful and pleasant notwithstanding her age. The chief charm +of this spot consists in two linden-trees, spreading their enormous +branches over the little green before the church, which is entirely +surrounded by peasants' cottages, barns, and homesteads. I have +seldom seen a place so retired and peaceable; and there often have +my table and chair brought out from the little inn, and drink my +coffee there, and read my Homer. Accident brought me to the spot +one fine afternoon, and I found it perfectly deserted. Everybody +was in the fields except a little boy about four years of age, who +was sitting on the ground, and held between his knees a child about +six months old: he pressed it to his bosom with both arms, which +thus formed a sort of arm-chair; and, notwithstanding the liveliness +which sparkled in its black eyes, it remained perfectly still. +The sight charmed me. I sat down upon a plough opposite, and +sketched with great delight this little picture of brotherly +tenderness. I added the neighbouring hedge, the barn-door, and +some broken cart-wheels, just as they happened to lie; and I found +in about an hour that I had made a very correct and interesting +drawing, without putting in the slightest thing of my own. This +confirmed me in my resolution of adhering, for the future, entirely +to nature. She alone is inexhaustible, and capable of forming the +greatest masters. Much may be alleged in favour of rules, as much +may be likewise advanced in favour of the laws of society: an +artist formed upon them will never produce anything absolutely bad +or disgusting; as a man who observes the laws, and obeys decorum, +can never be an absolutely intolerable neighbour, nor a decided +villain: but yet, say what you will of rules, they destroy the +genuine feeling of nature, as well as its true expression. Do not +tell me "that this is too hard, that they only restrain and prune +superfluous branches, etc." My good friend, I will illustrate +this by an analogy. These things resemble love. A warmhearted +youth becomes strongly attached to a maiden: he spends every hour +of the day in her company, wears out his health, and lavishes his +fortune, to afford continual proof that he is wholly devoted to +her. Then comes a man of the world, a man of place and respectability, +and addresses him thus: "My good young friend, love is natural; +but you must love within bounds. Divide your time: devote a portion +to business, and give the hours of recreation to your mistress. +Calculate your fortune; and out of the superfluity you may make +her a present, only not too often, -- on her birthday, and such +occasions." Pursuing this advice, he may become a useful member +of society, and I should advise every prince to give him an +appointment; but it is all up with his love, and with his genius +if he be an artist. O my friend! why is it that the torrent of +genius so seldom bursts forth, so seldom rolls in full-flowing +stream, overwhelming your astounded soul? Because, on either side +of this stream, cold and respectable persons have taken up their +abodes, and, forsooth, their summer-houses and tulip-beds would +suffer from the torrent; wherefore they dig trenches, and raise +embankments betimes, in order to avert the impending danger. + +MAY 27. + +I find I have fallen into raptures, declamation, and similes, and +have forgotten, in consequence, to tell you what became of the +children. Absorbed in my artistic contemplations, which I briefly +described in my letter of yesterday, I continued sitting on the +plough for two hours. Toward evening a young woman, with a basket +on her arm, came running toward the children, who had not moved +all that time. She exclaimed from a distance, "You are a good +boy, Philip!" She gave me greeting: I returned it, rose, and +approached her. I inquired if she were the mother of those pretty +children. "Yes," she said; and, giving the eldest a piece of +bread, she took the little one in her arms and kissed it with a +mother's tenderness. "I left my child in Philip's care," she said, +"whilst I went into the town with my eldest boy to buy some wheaten +bread, some sugar, and an earthen pot." I saw the various articles +in the basket, from which the cover had fallen. "I shall make +some broth to-night for my little Hans (which was the name of the +youngest): that wild fellow, the big one, broke my pot yesterday, +whilst he was scrambling with Philip for what remained of the +contents." I inquired for the eldest; and she bad scarcely time +to tell me that he was driving a couple of geese home from the +meadow, when he ran up, and handed Philip an osier-twig. I talked +a little longer with the woman, and found that she was the daughter +of the schoolmaster, and that her husband was gone on a journey +into Switzerland for some money a relation had left him. "They +wanted to cheat him," she said, "and would not answer his letters; +so he is gone there himself. I hope he has met with no accident, +as I have heard nothing of him since his departure." I left the +woman, with regret, giving each of the children a kreutzer, with +an additional one for the youngest, to buy some wheaten bread for +his broth when she went to town next; and so we parted. I assure +you, my dear friend, when my thoughts are all in tumult, the sight +of such a creature as this tranquillises my disturbed mind. She +moves in a happy thoughtlessness within the confined circle of her +existence; she supplies her wants from day to day; and, when she +sees the leaves fall, they raise no other idea in her mind than +that winter is approaching. Since that time I have gone out there +frequently. The children have become quite familiar with me; and +each gets a lump of sugar when I drink my coffee, and they share +my milk and bread and butter in the evening. They always receive +their kreutzer on Sundays, for the good woman has orders to give +it to them when I do not go there after evening service. They are +quite at home with me, tell me everything; and I am particularly +amused with observing their tempers, and the simplicity of their +behaviour, when some of the other village children are assembled +with them. + +It has given me a deal of trouble to satisfy the anxiety of the +mother, lest (as she says) "they should inconvenience the gentleman." + +MAY 30. + +What I have lately said of painting is equally true with respect +to poetry. It is only necessary for us to know what is really +excellent, and venture to give it expression; and that is saying +much in few words. To-day I have had a scene, which, if literally +related, would, make the most beautiful idyl in the world. But +why should I talk of poetry and scenes and idyls? Can we never +take pleasure in nature without having recourse to art? + +If you expect anything grand or magnificent from this introduction, +you will be sadly mistaken. It relates merely to a peasant-lad, +who has excited in me the warmest interest. As usual, I shall +tell my story badly; and you, as usual, will think me extravagant. +It is Walheim once more -- always Walheim -- which produces these +wonderful phenomena. + +A party had assembled outside the house under the linden-trees, +to drink coffee. The company did not exactly please me; and, under +one pretext or another, I lingered behind. + +A peasant came from an adjoining house, and set to work arranging +some part of the same plough which I had lately sketched. His +appearance pleased me; and I spoke to him, inquired about his +circumstances, made his acquaintance, and, as is my wont with +persons of that class, was soon admitted into his confidence. He +said he was in the service of a young widow, who set great store +by him. He spoke so much of his mistress, and praised her so +extravagantly, that I could soon see he was desperately in love +with her. "She is no longer young," he said: "and she was treated +so badly by her former husband that she does not mean to marry +again." From his account it was so evident what incomparable +charms she possessed for him, and how ardently he wished she would +select him to extinguish the recollection of her first husband's +misconduct, that I should have to repeat his own words in order +to describe the depth of the poor fellow's attachment, truth, and +devotion. It would, in fact, require the gifts of a great poet +to convey the expression of his features, the harmony of his voice, +and the heavenly fire of his eye. No words can portray the +tenderness of his every movement and of every feature: no effort +of mine could do justice to the scene. His alarm lest I should +misconceive his position with regard to his mistress, or question +the propriety of her conduct, touched me particularly. The charming +manner with which he described her form and person, which, without +possessing the graces of youth, won and attached him to her, is +inexpressible, and must be left to the imagination. I have never +in my life witnessed or fancied or conceived the possibility of +such intense devotion, such ardent affections, united with so much +purity. Do not blame me if I say that the recollection of this +innocence and truth is deeply impressed upon my very soul; that +this picture of fidelity and tenderness haunts me everywhere; and +that my own heart, as though enkindled by the flame, glows and +burns within me. + +I mean now to try and see her as soon as I can: or perhaps, on +second thoughts, I had better not; it is better I should behold +her through the eyes of her lover. To my sight, perhaps, she would +not appear as she now stands before me; and why should I destroy +so sweet a picture? + +JUNE 16. + +"Why do I not write to you?" You lay claim to learning, and ask +such a question. You should have guessed that I am well -- that +is to say -- in a word, I have made an acquaintance who has won +my heart: I have -- I know not. + +To give you a regular account of the manner in which I have become +acquainted with the most amiable of women would be a difficult task. +I am a happy and contented mortal, but a poor historian. + +An angel! Nonsense! Everybody so describes his mistress; and yet +I find it impossible to tell you how perfect she is, or why she is +so perfect: suffice it to say she has captivated all my senses. + +So much simplicity with so much understauding -- so mild, and yet +so resolute -- a mind so placid, and a life so active. + +But all this is ugly balderdash, which expresses not a single +character nor feature. Some other time -- but no, not some other +time, now, this very instant, will I tell you all about it. Now +or never. Well, between ourselves, since I commenced my letter, +I have been three times on the point of throwing down my pen, of +ordering my horse, and riding out. And yet I vowed this morning +that I would not ride to-day, and yet every moment I am rushing +to the window to see how high the sun is. + +I could not restrain myself -- go to her I must. I have just +returned, Wilhelm; and whilst I am taking supper I will write to +you. What a delight it was for my soul to see her in the midst +of her dear, beautiful children, -- eight brothers and sisters! + +But, if I proceed thus, you will be no wiser at the end of my +letter than you were at the beginning. Attend, then, and I will +compel myself to give you the details. + +I mentioned to you the other day that I had become acquainted with +S--, the district judge, and that he had invited me to go and visit +him in his retirement, or rather in his little kingdom. But I +neglected going, and perhaps should never have gone, if chance had +not discovered to me the treasure which lay concealed in that +retired spot. Some of our young people had proposed giving a ball +in the country, at which I consented to be present. I offered my +hand for the evening to a pretty and agreeable, but rather commonplace, +sort of girl from the immediate neighbourhood; and it was agreed +that I should engage a carriage, and call upon Charlotte, with my +partner and her aunt, to convey them to the ball. My companion +informed me, as we drove along through the park to the hunting-lodge, +that I should make the acquaintance of a very charming young lady. +"Take care," added the aunt, "that you do not lose your heart." +"Why?" said I. "Because she is already engaged to a very worthy +man," she replied, "who is gone to settle his affairs upon the +death of his father, and will succeed to a very considerable +inheritance." This information possessed no interest for me. +When we arrived at the gate, the sun was setting behind the tops +of the mountains. The atmosphere was heavy; and the ladies expressed +their fears of an approaching storm, as masses of low black clouds +were gathering in the horizon. I relieved their anxieties by +pretending to be weather-wise, although I myself had some +apprehensions lest our pleasure should be interrupted. + +I alighted; and a maid came to the door, and requested us to wait +a moment for her mistress. I walked across the court to a well-built +house, and, ascending the flight of steps in front, opened the door, +and saw before me the most charming spectacle I had ever witnessed. +Six children, from eleven to two years old, were running about the +hall, and surrounding a lady of middle height, with a lovely figure, +dressed in a robe of simple white, trimmed with pink ribbons. She +was holding a rye loaf in her hand, and was cutting slices for the +little ones all around, in proportion to their age and appetite. +She performed her task in a graceful and affectionate manner; each +claimant awaiting his turn with outstretched hands, and boisterously +shouting his thanks. Some of them ran away at once, to enjoy their +evening meal; whilst others, of a gentler disposition, retired to +the courtyard to see the strangers, and to survey the carriage in +which their Charlotte was to drive away. "Pray forgive me for +giving you the trouble to come for me, and for keeping the ladies +waiting: but dressing, and arranging some household duties before +I leave, had made me forget my children's supper; and they do not +like to take it from any one but me." I uttered some indifferent +compliment: but my whole soul was absorbed by her air, her voice, +her manner; and I had scarcely recovered myself when she ran into +her room to fetch her gloves and fan. The young ones threw inquiring +glances at me from a distance; whilst I approached the youngest, +a most delicious little creature. He drew back; and Charlotte, +entering at the very moment, said, "Louis, shake hands with your +cousin." The little fellow obeyed willingly; and I could not +resist giving him a hearty kiss, notwithstanding his rather dirty +face. "Cousin," said I to Charlotte, as I handed her down, "do +you think I deserve the happiness of being related to you?" She +replied, with a ready smile, "Oh! I have such a number of cousins, +that I should be sorry if you were the most undeserving of them." +In taking leave, she desired her next sister, Sophy, a girl about +eleven years old, to take great care of the children, and to say +good-bye to papa for her when he came home from his ride. She +enjoined to the little ones to obey their sister Sophy as they +would herself, upon which some promised that they would; but a +little fair-haired girl, about six years old, looked discontented, +and said, "But Sophy is not you, Charlotte; and we like you best." +The two eldest boys had clambered up the carriage; and, at my +request, she permitted them to accompany us a little way through +the forest, upon their promising to sit very still, and hold fast. + +We were hardly seated, and the ladies had scarcely exchanged +compliments, making the usual remarks upon each other's dress, and +upon the company they expected to meet, when Charlotte stopped the +carriage, and made her brothers get down. They insisted upon +kissing her hands once more; which the eldest did with all the +tenderness of a youth of fifteen, but the other in a lighter and +more careless manner. She desired them again to give her love to +the children, and we drove off. + +The aunt inquired of Charlotte whether she had finished the book +she had last sent her. "No," said Charlotte; "I did not like it: +you can have it again. And the one before was not much better." +I was surprised, upon asking the title, to hear that it was ____. +(We feel obliged to suppress the passage in the letter, to prevent +any one from feeling aggrieved; although no author need pay much +attention to the opinion of a mere girl, or that of an unsteady +young man.) + +I found penetration and character in everything she said: every +expression seemed to brighten her features with new charms, --with +new rays of genius, -- which unfolded by degrees, as she felt +herself understood. + +"When I was younger," she observed, "I loved nothing so much as +romances. Nothing could equal my delight when, on some holiday, +I could settle down quietly in a corner, and enter with my whole +heart and soul into the joys or sorrows of some fictitious Leonora. +I do not deny that they even possess some charms for me yet. But +I read so seldom, that I prefer books suited exactly to my taste. +And I like those authors best whose scenes describe my own situation +in life, -- and the friends who are about me, whose stories touch +me with interest, from resembling my own homely existence, -- which, +without being absolutely paradise, is, on the whole, a source of +indescribable happiness." + +I endeavoured to conceal the emotion which these words occasioned, +but it was of slight avail; for, when she had expressed so truly +her opinion of "The Vicar of Wakefield," and of other works, the +names of which I omit (Though the names are omitted, yet the authors +mentioned deserve Charlotte's approbation, and will feel it in +their hearts when they read this passage. It concerns no other +person.), I could no longer contain myself, but gave full utterance +to what I thought of it: and it was not until Charlotte had addressed +herself to the two other ladies, that I remembered their presence, +and observed them sitting mute with astonishment. The aunt looked +at me several times with an air of raillery, which, however, I did +not at all mind. + +We talked of the pleasures of dancing. "If it is a fault to love +it," said Charlotte, "I am ready to confess that I prize it above +all other amusements. If anything disturbs me, I go to the piano, +play an air to which I have danced, and all goes right again +directly." + +You, who know me, can fancy how steadfastly I gazed upon her rich +dark eyes during these remarks, how my very soul gloated over her +warm lips and fresh, glowing cheeks, how I became quite lost in +the delightful meaning of her words, so much so, that I scarcely +heard the actual expressions. In short, I alighted from the +carriage like a person in a dream, and was so lost to the dim +world around me, that I scarcely heard the music which resounded +from the illuminated ballroom. + +The two Messrs. Andran and a certain N. N. (I cannot trouble myself +with the names), who were the aunt's and Charlotte's partners, +received us at the carriage-door, and took possession of their +ladies, whilst I followed with mine. + +We commenced with a minuet. I led out one lady after another, +and precisely those who were the most disagreeable could not bring +themselves to leave off. Charlotte and her partner began an English +country dance, and you must imagine my delight when it was their +turn to dance the figure with us. You should see Charlotte dance. +She dances with her whole heart and soul: her figure is all harmony, +elegance, and grace, as if she were conscious of nothing else, and +had no other thought or feeling; and, doubtless, for the moment, +every other sensation is extinct. + +She was engaged for the second country dance, but promised me the +third, and assured me, with the most agreeable freedom, that she +was very fond of waltzing. "It is the custom here," she said, +"for the previous partners to waltz together; but my partner is +an indifferent waltzer, and will feel delighted if I save him the +trouble. Your partner is not allowed to waltz, and, indeed, is +equally incapable: but I observed during the country dance that +you waltz well; so, if you will waltz with me, I beg you would +propose it to my partner, and I will propose it to yours." We +agreed, and it was arranged that our partners should mutually +entertain each other. + +We set off, and, at first, delighted ourselves with the usual +graceful motions of the arms. With what grace, with what ease, +she moved! When the waltz commenced, and the dancers whirled +around each other in the giddy maze, there was some confusion, +owing to the incapacity of some of the dancers. We judiciously +remained still, allowing the others to weary themselves; and, when +the awkward dancers had withdrawn, we joined in, and kept it up +famously together with one other couple, -- Andran and his partner. +Never did I dance more lightly. I felt myself more than mortal, +holding this loveliest of creatures in my arms, flying, with her +as rapidly as the wind, till I lost sight of every other object; +and O Wilhelm, I vowed at that moment, that a maiden whom I loved, +or for whom I felt the slightest attachment, never, never should +waltz with any one else but with me, if I went to perdition for it! +-- you will understand this. + +We took a few turns in the room to recover our breath. Charlotte +sat down, and felt refreshed by partaking of some oranges which I +had had secured, -- the only ones that had been left; but at every +slice which, from politeness, she offered to her neighbours, I felt +as though a dagger went through my heart. + +We were the second couple in the third country dance. As we were +going down (and Heaven knows with what ecstasy I gazed at her arms +and eyes, beaming with the sweetest feeling of pure and genuine +enjoyment), we passed a lady whom I had noticed for her charming +expression of countenance; although she was no longer young. She +looked at Charlotte with a smile, then, holding up her finger in +a threatening attitude, repeated twice in a very significant tone +of voice the name of "Albert." + +"Who is Albert," said I to Charlotte, "if it is not impertinent +to ask?" She was about to answer, when we were obliged to separate, +in order to execute a figure in the dance; and, as we crossed over +again in front of each other, I perceived she looked somewhat +pensive. "Why need I conceal it from you?" she said, as she gave +me her hand for the promenade. "Albert is a worthy man, to whom +I am engaged." Now, there was nothing new to me in this (for the +girls had told me of it on the way); but it was so far new that +I had not thought of it in connection with her whom, in so short +a time, I had learned to prize so highly. Enough, I became confused, +got out in the figure, and occasioned general confusion; so that +it required all Charlotte's presence of mind to set me right by +pulling and pushing me into my proper place. + +The dance was not yet finished when the lightning which had for +some time been seen in the horizon, and which I had asserted to +proceed entirely from heat, grew more violent; and the thunder was +heard above the music. When any distress or terror surprises us +in the midst of our amusements, it naturally makes a deeper impression +than at other times, either because the contrast makes us more +keenly susceptible, or rather perhaps because our senses are then +more open to impressions, and the shock is consequently stronger. +To this cause I must ascribe the fright and shrieks of the ladies. +One sagaciously sat down in a corner with her back to the window, +and held her fingers to her ears; a second knelt down before her, +and hid her face in her lap; a third threw herself between them, +and embraced her sister with a thousand tears; some insisted on +going home; others, unconscious of their actions, wanted sufficient +presence of mind to repress the impertinence of their young partners, +who sought to direct to themselves those sighs which the lips of +our agitated beauties intended for heaven. Some of the gentlemen +had gone down-stairs to smoke a quiet cigar, and the rest of the +company gladly embraced a happy suggestion of the hostess to retire +into another room which was provided with shutters and curtains. +We had hardly got there, when Charlotte placed the chairs in a +circle; and, when the company had sat down in compliance with her +request, she forthwith proposed a round game. + +I noticed some of the company prepare their mouths and draw +themselves up at the prospect of some agreeable forfeit. "Let us +play at counting," said Charlotte. "Now, pay attention: I shall +go round the circle from right to left; and each person is to count, +one after the other, the number that comes to him, and must count +fast; whoever stops or mistakes is to have a box on the ear, and +so on, till we have counted a thousand." It was delightful to see +the fun. She went round the circle with upraised arm. "One," +said the first; "two," the second; "three," the third; and so on, +till Charlotte went faster and faster. One made a mistake, instantly +a box on the ear; and, amid the laughter that ensued, came another +box; and so on, faster and faster. I myself came in for two. I +fancied they were harder than the rest, and felt quite delighted. +A general laughter and confusion put an end to the game long before +we had counted as far as a thousand. The party broke up into +little separate knots: the storm had ceased, and I followed Charlotte +into the ballroom. On the way she said, "The game banished their +fears of the storm." I could make no reply. "I myself," she +continued, "was as much frightened as any of them; but by affecting +courage, to keep up the spirits of the others, I forgot my +apprehensions." We went to the window. It was still thundering +at a distance: a soft rain was pouring down over the country, +and filled the air around us with delicious odours. Charlotte +leaned forward on her arm; her eyes wandered over the scene; she +raised them to the sky, and then turned them upon me; they were +moistened with tears; she placed her hand on mine and said, +"Klopstock!" at once I remembered the magnificent ode which was +in her thoughts: I felt oppressed with the weight of my sensations, +and sank under them. It was more than I could bear. I bent over +her hand, kissed it in a stream of delicious tears, and again +looked up to her eyes. Divine Klopstock! why didst thou not see +thy apotheosis in those eyes? And thy name so often profaned, +would that I never heard it repeated! + +JUNE 19. + +I no longer remember where I stopped in my narrative: I only know +it was two in the morning when I went to bed; and if you had been +with me, that I might have talked instead of writing to you, I +should, in all probability, have kept you up till daylight. + +I think I have not yet related what happened as we rode home from +the ball, nor have I time to tell you now. It was a most magnificent +sunrise: the whole country was refreshed, and the rain fell drop +by drop from the trees in the forest. Our companions were asleep. +Charlotte asked me if I did not wish to sleep also, and begged of +me not to make any ceremony on her account. Looking steadfastly +at her, I answered, "As long as I see those eyes open, there is +no fear of my falling asleep." We both continued awake till we +reached her door. The maid opened it softly, and assured her, in +answer to her inquiries, that her father and the children were +well, and still sleeping. I left her asking permission to visit +her in the course of the day. She consented, and I went, and, +since that time, sun, moon, and stars may pursue their course: I +know not whether it is day or night; the whole world is nothing +to me. + +JUNE 21. + +My days are as happy as those reserved by God for his elect; and, +whatever be my fate hereafter, I can never say that I have not +tasted joy, -- the purest joy of life. You know Walheim. I am +now completely settled there. In that spot I am only half a league +from Charlotte; and there I enjoy myself, and taste all the pleasure +which can fall to the lot of man. + +Little did I imagine, when I selected Walheim for my pedestrian +excursions, that all heaven lay so near it. How often in my +wanderings from the hillside or from the meadows across the river, +have I beheld this hunting-lodge, which now contains within it all +the joy of my heart! + +I have often, my dear Wilhelm, reflected on the eagerness men feel +to wander and make new discoveries, and upon that secret impulse +which afterward inclines them to return to their narrow circle, +conform to the laws of custom, and embarrass themselves no longer +with what passes around them. + +It is so strange how, when I came here first, and gazed upon that +lovely valley from the hillside, I felt charmed with the entire +scene surrounding me. The little wood opposite -- how delightful +to sit under its shade! How fine the view from that point of +rock! Then, that delightful chain of hills, and the exquisite +valleys at their feet! Could I but wander and lose myself amongst +them! I went, and returned without finding what I wished. Distance, +my friend, is like futurity. A dim vastness is spread before our +souls: the perceptions of our mind are as obscure as those of our +vision; and we desire earnestly to surrender up our whole being, +that it may be filled with the complete and perfect bliss of one +glorious emotion. But alas! when we have attained our object, +when the distant there becomes the present here, all is changed: +we are as poor and circumscribed as ever, and our souls still +languish for unattainable happiness. + +So does the restless traveller pant for his native soil, and find +in his own cottage, in the arms of his wife, in the affections of +his children, and in the labour necessary for their support, that +happiness which he had sought in vain through the wide world. + +When, in the morning at sunrise, I go out to Walheim, and with my +own hands gather in the garden the pease which are to serve for +my dinner, when I sit down to shell them, and read my Homer during +the intervals, and then, selecting a saucepan from the kitchen, +fetch my own butter, put my mess on the fire, cover it up, and sit +down to stir it as occasion requires, I figure to myself the +illustrious suitors of Penelope, killing, dressing, and preparing +their own oxen and swine. Nothing fills me with a more pure and +genuine sense of happiness than those traits of patriarchal life +which, thank Heaven! I can imitate without affectation. Happy is +it, indeed, for me that my heart is capable of feeling the same +simple and innocent pleasure as the peasant whose table is covered +with food of his own rearing, and who not only enjoys his meal, but +remembers with delight the happy days and sunny mornings when he +planted it, the soft evenings when he watered it, and the pleasure +he experienced in watching its daily growth. + +JUNE 29. + +The day before yesterday, the physician came from the town to pay +a visit to the judge. He found me on the floor playing with +Charlotte's children. Some of them were scrambling over me, and +others romped with me; and, as I caught and tickled them, they +made a great noise. The doctor is a formal sort of personage: he +adjusts the plaits of his ruffles, and continually settles his +frill whilst he is talking to you; and he thought my conduct beneath +the dignity of a sensible man. I could perceive this by his +countenance. But I did not suffer myself to be disturbed. I +allowed him to continue his wise conversation, whilst I rebuilt +the children's card houses for them as fast as they threw them +down. He went about the town afterward, complaining that the +judge's children were spoiled enough before, but that now Werther +was completely ruining them. + +Yes, my dear Wilhelm, nothing on this earth affects my heart so +much as children. When I look on at their doings; when I mark in +the little creatures the seeds of all those virtues and qualities +which they will one day find so indispensable; when I behold in +the obstinate all the future firmness and constancy of a noble +character; in the capricious, that levity and gaiety of temper +which will carry them lightly over the dangers and troubles of +life, their whole nature simple and unpolluted, -- then I call +to mind the golden words of the Great Teacher of mankind, "Unless +ye become like one of these!" And now, my friend, these children, +who are our equals, whom we ought to consider as our models, we +treat them as though they were our subjects. They are allowed no +will of their own. And have we, then, none ourselves? Whence comes +our exclusive right? Is it because we are older and more experienced? +Great God! from the height of thy heaven thou beholdest great +children and little children, and no others; and thy Son has long +since declared which afford thee greatest pleasure. But they +believe in him, and hear him not, --that, too, is an old story; +and they train their children after their own image, etc. + +Adieu, Wilhelm: I will not further bewilder myself with this subject. + +JULY 1. + +The consolation Charlotte can bring to an invalid I experience +from my own heart, which suffers more from her absence than many +a poor creature lingering on a bed of sickness. She is gone to +spend a few days in the town with a very worthy woman, who is given +over by the physicians, and wishes to have Charlotte near her in +her last moments. I accompanied her last week on a visit to the +Vicar of S--, a small village in the mountains, about a league +hence. We arrived about four o'clock: Charlotte had taken her +little sister with her. When we entered the vicarage court, we +found the good old man sitting on a bench before the door, under +the shade of two large walnut-trees. At the sight of Charlotte +he seemed to gain new life, rose, forgot his stick, and ventured +to walk toward her. She ran to him, and made him sit down again; +then, placing herself by his side, she gave him a number of messages +from her father, and then caught up his youngest child, a dirty, +ugly little thing, the joy of his old age, and kissed it. I wish +you could have witnessed her attention to this old man, --how she +raised her voice on account of his deafness; how she told him of +healthy young people, who had been carried off when it was least +expected; praised the virtues of Carlsbad, and commended his +determination to spend the ensuing summer there; and assured him +that he looked better and stronger than he did when she saw him +last. I, in the meantime, paid attention to his good lady. The +old man seemed quite in spirits; and as I could not help admiring +the beauty of the walnut-trees, which formed such an agreeable +shade over our heads, he began, though with some little difficulty, +to tell us their history. "As to the oldest," said he, "we do not +know who planted it, -- some say one clergyman, and some another: +but the younger one, there behind us, is exactly the age of my wife, +fifty years old next October; her father planted it in the morning, +and in the evening she came into the world. My wife's father was +my predecessor here, and I cannot tell you how fond he was of that +tree; and it is fully as dear to me. Under the shade of that very +tree, upon a log of wood, my wife was seated knitting, when I, a +poor student, came into this court for the first time, just seven +and twenty years ago." Charlotte inquired for his daughter. He +said she was gone with Herr Schmidt to the meadows, and was with +the haymakers. The old man then resumed his story, and told us +how his predecessor had taken a fancy to him, as had his daughter +likewise; and how he had become first his curate, and subsequently +his successor. He had scarcely finished his story when his daughter +returned through the garden, accompanied by the above-mentioned +Herr Schmidt. She welcomed Charlotte affectionately, and I confess +I was much taken with her appearance. She was a lively-looking, +good-humoured brunette, quite competent to amuse one for a short +time in the country. Her lover (for such Herr Schmidt evidently +appeared to be) was a polite, reserved personage, and would not +join our conversation, notwithstanding all Charlotte's endeavours +to draw him out. I was much annoyed at observing, by his countenance, +that his silence did not arise from want of talent, but from caprice +and ill-humour. This subsequently became very evident, when we +set out to take a walk, and Frederica joining Charlotte, with whom +I was talking, the worthy gentleman's face, which was naturally +rather sombre, became so dark and angry that Charlotte was obliged +to touch my arm, and remind me that I was talking too much to +Frederica. Nothing distresses me more than to see men torment +each other; particularly when in the flower of their age, in the +very season of pleasure, they waste their few short days of sunshine +in quarrels and disputes, and only perceive their error when it +is too late to repair it. This thought dwelt upon my mind; and +in the evening, when we returned to the vicar's, and were sitting +round the table with our bread end milk, the conversation turned +on the joys and sorrows of the world, I could not resist the +temptation to inveigh bitterly against ill-humour. "We are apt," +said I, "to complain, but - with very little cause, that our happy +days are few, and our evil days many. If our hearts were always +disposed to receive the benefits Heaven sends us, we should acquire +strength to support evil when it comes." "But," observed the vicar's +wife, "we cannot always command our tempers, so much depends upon +the constitution: when the body suffers, the mind is ill at ease." +"I acknowledge that," I continued; "but we must consider such a +disposition in the light of a disease, and inquire whether there +is no remedy for it." + +"I should be glad to hear one," said Charlotte: "at least, I think +very much depends upon ourselves; I know it is so with me. When +anything annoys me, and disturbs my temper, I hasten into the +garden, hum a couple of country dances, and it is all right with +me directly." "That is what I meant," I replied; "ill-humour +resembles indolence: it is natural to us; but if once we have +courage to exert ourselves, we find our work run fresh from our +hands, and we experience in the activity from which we shrank a +real enjoyment." Frederica listened very attentively: and the +young man objected, that we were not masters of ourselves, and +still less so of our feelings. "The question is about a disagreeable +feeling," I added, "from which every one would willingly escape, +but none know their own power without trial. Invalids are glad +to consult physicians, and submit to the most scrupulous regimen, +the most nauseous medicines, in order to recover their health." +I observed that the good old man inclined his head, and exerted +himself to hear our discourse; so I raised my voice, and addressed +myself directly to him. We preach against a great many crimes," +I observed, "but I never remember a sermon delivered against +ill-humour." "That may do very well for your town clergymen," +said he: "country people are never ill-humoured; though, indeed, +it might be useful, occasionally, to my wife for instance, and the +judge." We all laughed, as did he likewise very cordially, till +he fell into a fit of coughing, which interrupted our conversation +for a time. Herr Schmidt resumed the subject. "You call ill +humour a crime," he remarked, "but I think you use too strong a +term." "Not at all," I replied, "if that deserves the name which +is so pernicious to ourselves and our neighbours. Is it not enough +that we want the power to make one another happy, must we deprive +each other of the pleasure which we can all make for ourselves? +Show me the man who has the courage to hide his ill-humour, who +bears the whole burden himself, without disturbing the peace of +those around him. No: ill-humour arises from an inward consciousness +of our own want of merit, from a discontent which ever accompanies +that envy which foolish vanity engenders. We see people happy, +whom we have not made so, and cannot endure the sight." Charlotte +looked at me with a smile; she observed the emotion with which I +spoke: and a tear in the eyes of Frederica stimulated me to proceed. +"Woe unto those," I said, "who use their power over a human heart +to destroy the simple pleasures it would naturally enjoy! All the +favours, all the attentions, in the world cannot compensate for +the loss of that happiness which a cruel tyranny has destroyed." +My heart was full as I spoke. A recollection of many things which +had happened pressed upon my mind, and filled my eyes with tears. +"We should daily repeat to ourselves," I exclaimed, "that we should +not interfere with our friends, unless to leave them in possession +of their own joys, and increase their happiness by sharing it with +them! But when their souls are tormented by a violent passion, +or their hearts rent with grief, is it in your power to afford +them the slightest consolation? + +"And when the last fatal malady seizes the being whose untimely +grave you have prepared, when she lies languid and exhausted before +you, her dim eyes raised to heaven, and the damp of death upon her +pallid brow, there you stand at her bedside like a condemned +criminal, with the bitter feeling that your whole fortune could +not save her; and the agonising thought wrings you, that all your +efforts are powerless to impart even a moment's strength to the +departing soul, or quicken her with a transitory consolation." + +At these words the remembrance of a similar scene at which I had +been once present fell with full force upon my heart. I buried my +face in my handkerchief, and hastened from the room, and was only +recalled to my recollection by Charlotte's voice, who reminded me +that it was time to return home. With what tenderness she chid +me on the way for the too eager interest I took in everything! +She declared it would do me injury, and that I ought to spare +myself. Yes, my angel! I will do so for your sake. + +JULY 6. + +She is still with her dying friend, and is still the same bright, +beautiful creature whose presence softens pain, and sheds happiness +around whichever way she turns. She went out yesterday with her +little sisters: I knew it, and went to meet them; and we walked +together. In about an hour and a half we returned to the town. +We stopped at the spring I am so fond of, and which is now a +thousand times dearer to me than ever. Charlotte seated herself +upon the low wall, and we gathered about her. I looked around, +and recalled the time when my heart was unoccupied and free. +"Dear fountain!" I said, "since that time I have no more come to +enjoy cool repose by thy fresh stream: I have passed thee with +careless steps, and scarcely bestowed a glance upon thee." I +looked down, and observed Charlotte's little sister, Jane, coming +up the steps with a glass of water. I turned toward Charlotte, +and I felt her influence over me. Jane at the moment approached +with the glass. Her sister, Marianne, wished to take it from her. +"No!" cried the child, with the sweetest expression of face, +"Charlotte must drink first." + +The affection and simplicity with which this was uttered so charmed +me, that I sought to express my feelings by catching up the child +and kissing her heartily. She was frightened, and began to cry. +"You should not do that," said Charlotte: I felt perplexed. "Come, +Jane," she continued, taking her hand, and leading her down the +steps again, "it is no matter: wash yourself quickly in the fresh +water." I stood and watched them; and when I saw the little dear +rubbing her cheeks with her wet hands, in full belief that all +the impurities contracted from my ugly beard would be washed off +by the miraculous water, and how, though Charlotte said it would +do, she continued still to wash with all her might, as though she +thought too much were better than too little, I assure you, Wilhelm, +I never attended a baptism with greater reverence; and, when +Charlotte came up from the well, I could have prostrated myself +as before the prophet of an Eastern nation. + +In the evening I would not resist telling the story to a person +who, I thought, possessed some natural feeling, because he was a +man of understanding. But what a mistake I made. He maintained +it was very wrong of Charlotte, that we should not deceive children, +that such things occasioned countless mistakes and superstitions, +from which we were bound to protect the young. It occurred to me +then, that this very man had been baptised only a week before; so +I said nothing further, but maintained the justice of my own +convictions. We should deal with children as God deals with us, +we are happiest under the influence of innocent delusions. + +JULY 8. + +What a child is man that he should be so solicitous about a look! +What a child is man! We had been to Walheim: the ladies went in +a carriage; but during our walk I thought I saw in Charlotte's +dark eyes -- I am a fool -- but forgive me! you should see them, +-- those eyes. -- However, to be brief (for my own eyes are weighed +down with sleep), you must know, when the ladies stepped into their +carriage again, young W. Seldstadt, Andran, and I were standing +about the door. They are a merry set of fellows, and they were +all laughing and joking together. I watched Charlotte's eyes. +They wandered from one to the other; but they did not light on me, +on me, who stood there motionless, and who saw nothing but her! +My heart bade her a thousand times adieu, but she noticed me not. +The carriage drove off; and my eyes filled with tears. I looked +after her: suddenly I saw Charlotte's bonnet leaning out of the +window, and she turned to look back, was it at me? My dear friend, +I know not; and in this uncertainty I find consolation. Perhaps +she turned to look at me. Perhaps! Good-night -- what a child I am! + +JULY lO. + +You should see how foolish I look in company when her name is +mentioned, particularly when I am asked plainly how I like her. +How I like her! I detest the phrase. What sort of creature must +he be who merely liked Charlotte, whose whole heart and senses +were not entirely absorbed by her. Like her! Some one asked me +lately how I liked Ossian. + +JULY 11. + +Madame M-- is very ill. I pray for her recovery, because Charlotte +shares my sufferings. I see her occasionally at my friend's house, +and to-day she has told me the strangest circumstance. Old M-- +is a covetous, miserly fellow, who has long worried and annoyed +the poor lady sadly; but she has borne her afflictions patiently. +A few days ago, when the physician informed us that her recovery +was hopeless, she sent for her husband (Charlotte was present), +and addressed him thus: "I have something to confess, which, after +my decease, may occasion trouble and confusion. I have hitherto +conducted your household as frugally and economically as possible, +but you must pardon me for having defrauded you for thirty years. +At the commencement of our married life, you allowed a small sum +for the wants of the kitchen, and the other household expenses. +When our establishment increased and our property grew larger, I +could not persuade you to increase the weekly allowance in proportion: +in short, you know, that, when our wants were greatest, you required +me to supply everything with seven florins a week. I took the +money from you without an observation, but made up the weekly +deficiency from the money-chest; as nobody would suspect your wife +of robbing the household bank. But I have wasted nothing, and +should have been content to meet my eternal Judge without this +confession, if she, upon whom the management of your establishment +will devolve after my decease, would be free from embarrassment +upon your insisting that the allowance made to me, your former +wife, was sufficient." + +I talked with Charlotte of the inconceivable manner in which men +allow themselves to be blinded; how any one could avoid suspecting +some deception, when seven florins only were allowed to defray +expenses twice as great. But I have myself known people who +believed, without any visible astonishment, that their house +possessed the prophet's never-failing cruse of oil. + +JULY 13. + +No, I am not deceived. In her dark eyes I read a genuine interest +in me and in my fortunes. Yes, I feel it; and I may believe my +own heart which tells me -- dare I say it? -- dare I pronounce +the divine words? -- that she loves me! + +That she loves me! How the idea exalts me in my own eyes! And, +as you can understand my feelings, I may say to you, how I honour +myself since she loves me! + +Is this presumption, or is it a consciousness of the truth? I do +not know a man able to supplant me in the heart of Charlotte; and +yet when she speaks of her betrothed with so much warmth and +affection, I feel like the soldier who has been stripped of his +honours and titles, and deprived of his sword. + +JULY 16. + +How my heart beats when by accident I touch her finger, or my feet +meet hers under the table! I draw back as if from a furnace; but +a secret force impels me forward again, and my senses become +disordered. Her innocent, unconscious heart never knows what agony +these little familiarities inflict upon me. Sometimes when we +are talking she Iays her hand upon mine, and in the eagerness of +conversation comes closer to me, and her balmy breath reaches my +lips, -- when I feel as if lightning had struck me, and that I +could sink into the earth. And yet, Wilhelm, with all this heavenly +confidence, -- if I know myself, and should ever dare -- you +understand me. No, no! my heart is not so corrupt, it is weak, +weak enough but is not that a degree of corruption? + +She is to me a sacred being. All passion is still in her presence: +I cannot express my sensations when I am near her. I feel as if +my soul beat in every nerve of my body. There is a melody which +she plays on the piano with angelic skill, -- so simple is it, +and yet so spiritual! It is her favourite air; and, when she +plays the first note, all pain, care, and sorrow disappear from +me in a moment. + +I believe every word that is said of the magic of ancient music. +How her simple song enchants me! Sometimes, when I am ready to +commit suicide, she sings that air; and instantly the gloom and +madness which hung over me are dispersed, and I breathe freely +again. + +JULY 18. + +Wilhelm, what is the world to our hearts without love? What is +a magic-lantern without light? You have but to kindle the flame +within, and the brightest figures shine on the white wall; and, +if love only show us fleeting shadows, we are yet happy, when, +like mere children, we behold them, and are transported with the +splendid phantoms. I have not been able to see Charlotte to-day. +I was prevented by company from which I could not disengage myself. +What was to be done? I sent my servant to her house, that I might +at least see somebody to-day who had been near her. Oh, the +impatience with which I waited for his return! the joy with which +I welcomed him! I should certainly have caught him in my arms, +and kissed him, if I had not been ashamed. + +It is said that the Bonona stone, when placed in the sun, attracts +the rays, and for a time appears luminous in the dark. So was it +with me and this servant. The idea that Charlotte's eyes had dwelt +on his countenance, his cheek, his very apparel, endeared them all +inestimably to me, so that at the moment I would not have parted +from him for a thousand crowns. His presence made me so happy! +Beware of laughing at me, Wilhelm. Can that be a delusion which +makes us happy? + +JULY 19. + +"I shall see her today!" I exclaim with delight, when I rise in +the morning, and look out with gladness of heart at the bright, +beautiful sun. "I shall see her today!" And then I have no +further wish to form: all, all is included in that one thought. + +JULY 2O. + +I cannot assent to your proposal that I should accompany the +ambassador to _______. I do not love subordination; and we all +know that he is a rough, disagreeable person to be connected with. +You say my mother wishes me to be employed. I could not help +laughing at that. Am I not sufficiently employed? And is it not +in reality the same, whether I shell peas or count lentils? The +world runs on from one folly to another; and the man who, solely +from regard to the opinion of others, and without any wish or +necessity of his own, toils after gold, honour, or any other +phantom, is no better than a fool. + +JULY 24. + +You insist so much on my not neglecting my drawing, that it would +be as well for me to say nothing as to confess how little I have +lately done. + +I never felt happier, I never understood nature better, even down +to the veriest stem or smallest blade of grass ; and yet I am +unable to express myself: my powers of execution are so weak, +everything seems to swim and float before me, so that I cannot +make a clear, bold outline. But I fancy I should succeed better +if I had some clay or wax to model. I shall try, if this state +of mind continues much longer, and will take to modelling, if I +only knead dough. + +I have commenced Charlotte's portrait three times, and have as +often disgraced myself. This is the more annoying, as I was +formerly very happy in taking likenesses. I have since sketched +her profile, and must content myself with that. + +JULY 25. + +Yes, dear Charlotte! I will order and arrange everything. Only +give me more commissions, the more the better. One thing, however, +I must request: use no more writing-sand with the dear notes you +send me. Today I raised your letter hastily to my lips, and it +set my teeth on edge. + +JULY 26. + +I have often determined not to see her so frequently. But who +could keep such a resolution? Every day I am exposed to the +temptation, and promise faithfully that to-morrow I will really +stay away: but, when tomorrow comes, I find some irresistible +reason for seeing her; and, before I can account for it, I am with +her again. Either she has said on the previous evening "You will +be sure to call to-morrow," -- and who could stay away then? --or +she gives me some commission, and I find it essential to take +her the answer in person; or the day is fine, and I walk to Walheim; +and, when I am there, it is only half a league farther to her. I +am within the charmed atmosphere, and soon find myself at her side. +My grandmother used to tell us a story of a mountain of loadstone. +When any vessels came near it, they were instantly deprived of +their ironwork: the nails flew to the mountain, and the unhappy +crew perished amidst the disjointed planks. + +JULY 30. + +Albert is arrived, and I must take my departure. Were he the best +and noblest of men, and I in every respect his inferior, I could +not endure to see him in possession of such a perfect being. +Possession! -- enough, Wilhelm: her betrothed is here, -- a fine, +worthy fellow, whom one cannot help liking. Fortunately I was not +present at their meeting. It would have broken my heart! And he +is so considerate: he has not given Charlotte one kiss in my +presence. Heaven reward him for it! I must love him for the +respect with which he treats her. He shows a regard for me, but +for this I suspect I am more indebted to Charlotte than to his own +fancy for me. Women have a delicate tact in such matters, and it +should be so. They cannot always succeed in keeping two rivals +on terms with each other; but, when they do, they are the only +gainers. + +I cannot help esteeming Albert. The coolness of his temper contrasts +strongly with the impetuosity of mine, which I cannot conceal. +He has a great deal of feeling, and is fully sensible of the +treasure he possesses in Charlotte. He is free from ill-humour, +which you know is the fault I detest most. + +He regards me as a man of sense; and my attachment to Charlotte, +and the interest I take in all that concerns her, augment his +triumph and his love. I shall not inquire whether he may not at +times tease her with some little jealousies; as I know, that, were +I in his place, I should not be entirely free from such sensations. + +But, be that as it may, my pleasure with Charlotte is over. Call +it folly or infatuation, what signifies a name? The thing speaks +for itself. Before Albert came, I knew all that I know now. I +knew I could make no pretensions to her, nor did I offer any, that +is, as far as it was possible, in the presence of so much loveliness, +not to pant for its enjoyment. And now, behold me like a silly +fellow, staring with astonishment when another comes in, and +deprives me of my love. + +I bite my lips, and feel infinite scorn for those who tell me to +be resigned, because there is no help for it. Let me escape from +the yoke of such silly subterfuges! I ramble through the woods; +and when I return to Charlotte, and find Albert sitting by her +side in the summer-house in the garden, I am unable to bear it, +behave like a fool, and commit a thousand extravagances. "For +Heaven's sake," said Charlotte today, "let us have no more scenes +like those of last night! You terrify me when you are so violent." +Between ourselves, I am always away now when he visits her: and I +feel delighted when I find her alone. + +AUGUST 8. + +Believe me, dear Wilhelm, I did not allude to you when I spoke so +severely of those who advise resignation to inevitable fate. I +did not think it possible for you to indulge such a sentiment. +But in fact you are right. I only suggest one objection. In this +world one is seldom reduced to make a selection between two +alternatives. There are as many varieties of conduct and opinion +as there are turns of feature between an aquiline nose and a flat +one. + +You will, therefore, permit me to concede your entire argument, +and yet contrive means to escape your dilemma. + +Your position is this, I hear you say: "Either you have hopes of +obtaining Charlotte, or you have none. Well, in the first case, +pursue your course, and press on to the fulfilment of your wishes. +In the second, be a man, and shake off a miserable passion, which +will enervate and destroy you." My dear friend, this is well and +easily said. + +But would you require a wretched being, whose life is slowly wasting +under a lingering disease, to despatch himself at once by the +stroke of a dagger? Does not the very disorder which consumes his +strength deprive him of the courage to effect his deliverance? + +You may answer me, if you please, with a similar analogy, "Who +would not prefer the amputation of an arm to the periling of life +by doubt and procrastination!" But I know not if I am right, and +let us leave these comparisons. + +Enough! There are moments, Wilhelm, when I could rise up and shake +it all off, and when, if I only knew where to go, I could fly from +this place. + +THE SAME EVENING. + +My diary, which I have for some time neglected, came before me +today; and I am amazed to see how deliberately I have entangled +myself step by step. To have seen my position so clearly, and +yet to have acted so like a child! Even still I behold the +result plainly, and yet have no thought of acting with greater +prudence. + +AUGUST lO. + +If I were not a fool, I could spend the happiest and most delightful +life here. So many agreeable circumstances, and of a kind to +ensure a worthy man's happiness, are seldom united. Alas! I feel +it too sensibly, -- the heart alone makes our happiness! To be +admitted into this most charming family, to be loved by the father +as a son, by the children as a father, and by Charlotte! then the +noble Albert, who never disturbs my happiness by any appearance +of ill-humour, receiving me with the heartiest affection, and +loving me, next to Charlotte, better than all the world! Wilhelm, +you would be delighted to hear us in our rambles, and conversations +about Charlotte. Nothing in the world can be more absurd than our +connection, and yet the thought of it often moves me to tears. + +He tells me sometimes of her excellent mother; how, upon her +death-bed, she had committed her house and children to Charlotte, +and had given Charlotte herself in charge to him; how, since that +time, a new spirit had taken possession of her; how, in care and +anxiety for their welfare, she became a real mother to them; how +every moment of her time was devoted to some labour of love in +their behalf, -- and yet her mirth and cheerfulness had never +forsaken her. I walk by his side, pluck flowers by the way, arrange +them carefully into a nosegay, then fling them into the first +stream I pass, and watch them as they float gently away. I forget +whether I told you that Albert is to remain here. He has received +a government appointment, with a very good salary; and I understand +he is in high favour at court. I have met few persons so punctual +and methodical in business. + +AUGUST 12. + +Certainly Albert is the best fellow in the world. I had a strange +scene with him yesterday. I went to take leave of him; for I took +it into my head to spend a few days in these mountains, from where +I now write to you. As I was walking up and down his room, my eye +fell upon his pistols. "Lend me those pistols," said I, "for my +journey." "By all means," he replied, "if you will take the +trouble to load them; for they only hang there for form." I +took down one of them; and he continued, "Ever since I was near +suffering for my extreme caution, I will have nothing to do with +such things." I was curious to hear the story. "I was staying," +said he, "some three months ago, at a friend's house in the country. +I had a brace of pistols with me, unloaded; and I slept without +any anxiety. One rainy afternoon I was sitting by myself, doing +nothing, when it occurred to me I do not know how that the house +might be attacked, that we might require the pistols, that we might +in short, you know how we go on fancying, when we have nothing +better to do. I gave the pistols to the servant, to clean and +load. He was playing with the maid, and trying to frighten her, +when the pistol went off -- God knows how! -- the ramrod was in +the barrel; and it went straight through her right hand, and +shattered the thumb. I had to endure all the lamentation, and to +pay the surgeon's bill; so, since that time, I have kept all my +weapons unloaded. But, my dear friend, what is the use of prudence? +We can never be on our guard against all possible dangers. However," +-- now, you must know I can tolerate all men till they come to +"however;" -- for it is self-evident that every universal rule +must have its exceptions. But he is so exceedingly accurate, that, +if he only fancies he has said a word too precipitate, or too +general, or only half true, he never ceases to qualify, to modify, +and extenuate, till at last he appears to have said nothing at +all. Upon this occasion, Albert was deeply immersed in his +subject: I ceased to listen to him, and became lost in reverie. +With a sudden motion, I pointed the mouth of the pistol to my +forehead, over the right eye. "What do vou mean?" cried Albert, +turning back the pistol. "It is not loaded," said I. "And even +if not," he answered with impatience, "what can you mean? I +cannot cornprehend how a man can be so mad as to shoot himself, +and the bare idea of it shocks me." + +"But why should any one," said I, "in speaking of an action, venture +to pronounce it mad or wise, or good or bad? What is the meaning +of all this? Have you carefully studied the secret motives of our +actions? Do you understand -- can you explain the causes which +occasion them, and make them inevitable? If you can, you will be +less hasty with your decision." + +"But you will allow," said Albert; "that some actions are criminal, +let them spring from whatever motives they may." I granted it, +and shrugged my shoulders. + +"But still, my good friend," I continued, "there are some exceptions +here too. Theft is a crime; but the man who commits it from extreme +poverty, with no design but to save his family from perishing, is +he an object of pity, or of punishment? Who shall throw the first +stone at a husband, who, in the heat of just resentment, sacrifices +his faithless wife and her perfidious seducer? or at the young +maiden, who, in her weak hour of rapture, forgets herself in the +impetuous joys of love? Even our laws, cold and cruel as they +are, relent in such cases, and withhold their punishment." + +"That is quite another thing," said Albert; "because a man under +the influence of violent passion loses alI power of reflection, +and is regarded as intoxicated or insane." + +"Oh! you people of sound understandings," I replied, smiling, "are +ever ready to exclaim 'Extravagance, and madness, and intoxication!' +You moral men are so calm and so subdued! You abhor the drunken +man, and detest the extravagant; you pass by, like the Levite, +and thank God, like the Pharisee, that you are not like one of +them. I have been more than once intoxicated, my passions have +always bordered on extravagance: I am not ashamed to confess it; +for I have learned, by my own experience, that all extraordinary +men, who have accomplished great and astonishing actions, have +ever been decried by the world as drunken or insane. And in +private life, too, is it not intolerable that no one can undertake +the execution of a noble or generous deed, without giving rise to +the exclamation that the doer is intoxicated or mad? Shame upon +you, ye sages!" + +"This is another of your extravagant humours," said Albert: "you +always exaggerate a case, and in this matter you are undoubtedly +wrong; for we were speaking of suicide, which you compare with +great actions, when it is impossible to regard it as anything but +a weakness. It is much easier to die than to bear a life of misery +with fortitude." + +I was on the point of breaking off the conversation, for nothing +puts me so completely out of patience as the utterance of a wretched +commonplace when I am talking from my inmost heart. However, I +composed myself, for I had often heard the same observation with +sufficient vexation; and I answered him, therefore, with a little +warmth, "You call this a weakness -- beware of being led astray +by appearances. When a nation, which has long groaned under the +intolerable yoke of a tyrant, rises at last and throws off its +chains, do you call that weakness? The man who, to rescue his +house from the flames, finds his physical strength redoubled, so +that he lifts burdens with ease, which, in the absence of excitement, +he could scarcely move; he who, under the rage of an insult, attacks +and puts to flight half a score of his enemies, are such persons +to be called weak? My good friend, if resistance be strength, how +can the highest degree of resistance be a weakness?" + +Albert looked steadfastly at me, and said, "Pray forgive me, but +I do not see that the examples you have adduced bear any relation +to the question." "Very likely," I answered; "for I have often +been told that my style of illustration borders a little on the +absurd. But let us see if we cannot place the matter in another +point of view, by inquiring what can be a man's state of mind who +resolves to free himself from the burden of life, -- a burden often +so pleasant to bear, -- for we cannot otherwise reason fairly upon +the subject. + +"Human nature," I continued, "has its limits. It is able to endure +a certain degree of joy, sorrow, and pain, but becomes annihilated +as soon as this measure is exceeded. The question, therefore, is, +not whether a man is strong or weak, but whether he is able to +endure the measure of his sufferings. The suffering may be moral +or physical; and in my opinion it is just as absurd to call a man +a coward who destroys himself, as to call a man a coward who dies +of a malignant fever." + +"Paradox, all paradox!" exclaimed Albert. "Not so paradoxical as +you imagine," I replied. "You allow that we designate a disease +as mortal when nature is so severely attacked, and her strength +so far exhausted, that she cannot possibly recover her former +condition under any change that may take place. + +"Now, my good friend, apply this to the mind; observe a man in his +natural, isolated condition; consider how ideas work, and how +impressions fasten on him, till at length a violent passion seizes +him, destroying all his powers of calm reflection, and utterly +ruining him. + +"It is in vain that a man of sound mind and cool temper understands +the condition of such a wretched being, in vain he counsels him. +He can no more communicate his own wisdom to him than a healthy +man can instil his strength into the invalid, by whose bedside he +is seated." + +Albert thought this too general. I reminded him of a girl who had +drowned herself a short time previously, and I related her history. + +She was a good creature, who had grown up in the narrow sphere of +household industry and weekly appointed labour; one who knew no +pleasure beyond indulging in a walk on Sundays, arrayed in her +best attire, accompanied by her friends, or perhaps joining in the +dance now and then at some festival, and chatting away her spare +hours with a neighbour, discussing the scandal or the quarrels of +the village, trifles sufficient to occupy her heart. At length +the warmth of her nature is influenced by certain new and unknown +wishes. Inflamed by the flatteries of men, her former pleasures +become by degrees insipid, till at length she meets with a youth +to whom she is attracted by an indescribable feeling; upon him she +now rests all her hopes; she forgets the world around her; she +sees, hears, desires nothing but him, and him only. He alone +occupies all her thoughts. Uncorrupted by the idle indulgence of +an enervating vanity, her affection moving steadily toward its +object, she hopes to become his, and to realise, in an everlasting +union with him, all that happiness which she sought, all that bliss +for which she longed. His repeated promises confirm her hopes: +embraces and endearments, which increase the ardour of her desires, +overmaster her soul. She floats in a dim, delusive anticipation +of her happiness; and her feelings become excited to their utmost +tension. She stretches out her arms finally to embrace the object +of all her wishes and her lover forsakes her. Stunned and bewildered, +she stands upon a precipice. All is darkness around her. No +prospect, no hope, no consolation -- forsaken by him in whom her +existence was centred! She sees nothing of the wide world before +her, thinks nothing of the many individuals who might supply the +void in her heart; she feels herself deserted, forsaken by the +world; and, blinded and impelled by the agony which wrings her +soul, she plunges into the deep, to end her sufferings in the broad +embrace of death. See here, Albert, the history of thousands; and +tell me, is not this a case of physical infirmity? Nature has no +way to escape from the labyrinth: her powers are exhausted: she +can contend no longer, and the poor soul must die. + +"Shame upon him who can look on calmly, and exclaim, 'The foolish +girl! she should have waited; she should have allowed time to wear +off the impression; her despair would have been softened, and she +would have found another lover to comfort her.' One might as well +say, 'The fool, to die of a fever! why did he not wait till his +strength was restored, till his blood became calm? all would then +have gone well, and he would have been alive now.'" + +Albert, who could not see the justice of the comparison, offered +some further objections, and, amongst others, urged that I had +taken the case of a mere ignorant girl. But how any man of sense, +of more enlarged views and experience, could be excused, he was +unable to comprehend. "My friend!" I exclaimed, "man is but man; +and, whatever be the extent of his reasoning powers, they are of +little avail when passion rages within, and he feels himself +confined by the narrow limits of nature. It were better, then -- +but we will talk of this some other time," I said, and caught up +my hat. Alas! my heart was full; and we parted without conviction +on either side. How rarely in this world do men understand each +other! + +AUGUST 15. + +There can be no doubt that in this world nothing is so indispensable +as love. I observe that Charlotte could not lose me without a +pang, and the very children have but one wish; that is, that I +should visit them again to-morrow. I went this afternoon to tune +Charlotte's piano. But I could not do it, for the little ones +insisted on my telling them a story; and Charlotte herself urged +me to satisfy them. I waited upon them at tea, and they are now +as fully contented with me as with Charlotte; and I told them my +very best tale of the princess who was waited upon by dwarfs. +I improve myself by this exercise, and am quite surprised at the +impression my stories create. If I sometimes invent an incident +which I forget upon the next narration, they remind one directly +that the story was different before; so that I now endeavour to +relate with exactness the same anecdote in the same monotonous +tone, which never changes. I find by this, how much an author +injures his works by altering them, even though they be improved +in a poetical point of view. The first impression is readily +received. We are so constituted that we believe the most incredible +things; and, once they are engraved upon the memory, woe to him +who would endeavour to efface them. + +AUGUST 18. + +Must it ever be thus, -- that the source of our happiness must +also be the fountain of our misery? The full and ardent sentiment +which animated my heart with the love of nature, overwhelming me +with a torrent of delight, and which brought all paradise before +me, has now become an insupportable torment, a demon which perpetually +pursues and harasses me. When in bygone days I gazed from these +rocks upon yonder mountains across the river, and upon the green, +flowery valley before me, and saw alI nature budding and bursting +around; the hills clothed from foot to peak with tall, thick forest +trees; the valleys in all their varied windings, shaded with the +loveliest woods; and the soft river gliding along amongst the +lisping reeds, mirroring the beautiful clouds which the soft evening +breeze wafted across the sky, -- when I heard the groves about me +melodious with the music of birds, and saw the million swarms of +insects dancing in the last golden beams of the sun, whose setting +rays awoke the humming beetles from their grassy beds, whilst the +subdued tumult around directed my attention to the ground, and I +there observed the arid rock compelled to yield nutriment to the +dry moss, whilst the heath flourished upon the barren sands below +me, all this displayed to me the inner warmth which animates all +nature, and filled and glowed within my heart. I felt myself +exalted by this overflowing fulness to the perception of the +Godhead, and the glorious forms of an infinite universe became +visible to my soul! Stupendous mountains encompassed me, abysses +yawned at my feet, and cataracts fell headlong down before me; +impetuous rivers rolled through the plain, and rocks and mountains +resounded from afar. In the depths of the earth I saw innumerable +powers in motion, and multiplying to infinity; whilst upon its +surface, and beneath the heavens, there teemed ten thousand varieties +of living creatures. Everything around is alive with an infinite +number of forms; while mankind fly for security to their petty +houses, from the shelter of which they rule in their imaginations +over the wide-extended universe. Poor fool! in whose petty +estimation all things are little. From the inaccessible mountains, +across the desert which no mortal foot has trod, far as the confines +of the unknown ocean, breathes the spirit of the eternal Creator; +and every atom to which he has given existence finds favour in his +sight. Ah, how often at that time has the flight of a bird, soaring +above my head, inspired me with the desire of being transported +to the shores of the immeasurable waters, there to quaff the +pleasures of life from the foaming goblet of the Infinite, and to +partake, if but for a moment even, with the confined powers of my +soul, the beatitude of that Creator who accomplishes all things +in himself, and through himself! + +My dear friend, the bare recollection of those hours still consoles +me. Even this effort to recall those ineffable sensations, and +give them utterance, exalts my soul above itself, and makes me +doubly feel the intensity of my present anguish. + +It is as if a curtain had been drawn from before my eyes, and, +instead of prospects of eternal life, the abyss of an ever open +grave yawned before me. Can we say of anything that it exists +when all passes away, when time, with the speed of a storm, carries +all things onward, -- and our transitory existence, hurried along +by the torrent, is either swallowed up by the waves or dashed +against the rocks? There is not a moment but preys upon you, -- +and upon all around you, not a moment in which you do not yourself +become a destroyer. The most innocent walk deprives of life +thousands of poor insects: one step destroys the fabric of the +industrious ant, and converts a little world into chaos. No: it +is not the great and rare calamities of the world, the floods which +sweep away whole villages, the earthquakes which swallow up our +towns, that affect me. My heart is wasted by the thought of that +destructive power which lies concealed in every part of universal +nature. Nature has formed nothing that does not consume itself, +and every object near it: so that, surrounded by earth and air, +and all the active powers, I wander on my way with aching heart; +and the universe is to me a fearful monster, for ever devouring +its own offspring. + +AUGUST 21. + +In vain do I stretch out my arms toward her when I awaken in the +morning from my weary slumbers. In vain do I seek for her at night +in my bed, when some innocent dream has happily deceived me, and +placed her near me in the fields, when I have seized her hand and +covered it with countless kisses. And when I feel for her in the +half confusion of sleep, with the happy sense that she is near, +tears flow from my oppressed heart; and, bereft of all comfort, I +weep over my future woes. + +AUGUST 22. + +What a misfortune, Wilhelm! My active spirits have degenerated +into contented indolence. I cannot be idle, and yet I am unable +to set to work. I cannot think: I have no longer any feeling for +the beauties of nature, and books are distasteful to me. Once we +give ourselves up, we are totally lost. Many a time and oft I +wish I were a common labourer; that, awakening in the morning, I +might have but one prospect, one pursuit, one hope, for the day +which has dawned. I often envy Albert when I see him buried in a +heap of papers and parchments, and I fancy I should be happy were +I in his place. Often impressed with this feeling I have been on +the point of writing to you and to the minister, for the appointment +at the embassy, which you think I might obtain. I believe I might +procure it. The minister has long shown a regard for me, and has +frequently urged me to seek employment. It is the business of an +hour only. Now and then the fable of the horse recurs to me. +Weary of liberty, he suffered himself to be saddled and bridled, +and was ridden to death for his pains. I know not what to determine +upon. For is not this anxiety for change the consequence of that +restless spirit which would pursue me equally in every situation +of life? + +AUGUST 28. + +If my ills would admit of any cure, they would certainly be cured +here. This is my birthday, and early in the morning I received a +packet from Albert. Upon opening it, I found one of the pink +ribbons which Charlotte wore in her dress the first time I saw her, +and which I had several times asked her to give me. With it were +two volumes in duodecimo of Wetstein's "Homer," a book I had often +wished for, to save me the inconvenience of carrying the large +Ernestine edition with me upon my walks. You see how they anticipate +my wishes, how well they understand all those little attentions +of friendship, so superior to the costly presents of the great, +which are humiliating. I kissed the ribbon a thousand times, and +in every breath inhaled the remembrance of those happy and irrevocable +days which filled me with the keenest joy. Such, Wilhelm, is our +fate. I do not murmur at it: the flowers of life are but visionary. +How many pass away, and leave no trace behind -- how few yield any +fruit -- and the fruit itself, how rarely does it ripen! And yet +there are flowers enough! and is it not strange, my friend, that +we should suffer the little that does really ripen, to rot, decay, +and perish unenjoyed? Farewell! This is a glorious summer. I +often climb into the trees in Charlotte's orchard, and shake down +the pears that hang on the highest branches. She stands below, +and catches them as they fall. + +AUGUST 3O. + +Unhappy being that I am! Why do I thus deceive myself? What is +to come of all this wild, aimless, endless passion? I cannot pray +except to her. My imagination sees nothing but her: all surrounding +objects are of no account, except as they relate to her. In this +dreamy state I enjoy many happy hours, till at length I feel +compelled to tear myself away from her. Ah, Wilhelm, to what +does not my heart often compel me! When I have spent several hours +in her company, till I feel completely absorbed by her figure, her +grace, the divine expression of her thoughts, my mind becomes +gradually excited to the highest excess, my sight grows dim, my +hearing confused, my breathing oppressed as if by the hand of a +murderer, and my beating heart seeks to obtain relief for my aching +senses. I am sometimes unconscious whether I really exist. If +in such moments I find no sympathy, and Charlotte does not allow +me to enjoy the melancholy consolation of bathing her hand with +my tears, I feel compelled to tear myself from her, when I either +wander through the country, climb some precipitous cliff, or force +a path through the trackless thicket, where I am lacerated and +torn by thorns and briers; and thence I find relief. Sometimes I +lie stretched on the ground, overcome with fatigue and dying with +thirst; sometimes, late in the night, when the moon shines above +me, I recline against an aged tree in some sequestered forest, to +rest my weary limbs, when, exhausted and worn, I sleep till break +of day. O Wilhelm! the hermit's cell, his sackcloth, and girdle +of thorns would be luxury and indulgence compared with what I suffer. +Adieu! I see no end to this wretchedness except the grave. + +SEPTEMBER 3. + +I must away. Thank you, Wilhelm, for determining my wavering +purpose. For a whole fortnight I have thought of leaving her. I +must away. She has returned to town, and is at the house of a +friend. And then, Albert -- yes, I must go. + +SEPTEMBER 1O. + +Oh, what a night, Wilhelm! I can henceforth bear anything. I +shall never see her again. Oh, why cannot I fall on your neck, +and, with floods of tears and raptures, give utterance to all the +passions which distract my heart! Here I sit gasping for breath, +and struggling to compose myself. I wait for day, and at sunrise +the horses are to be at the door. + +And she is sleeping calmly, little suspecting that she has seen me +for the last time. I am free. I have had the courage, in an +interview of two hours' duration, not to betray my intention. And +O Wilhelm, what a conversation it was! + +Albert had promised to come to Charlotte in the garden immediately +after supper. I was upon the terrace under the tall chestnut trees, +and watched the setting sun. I saw him sink for the last time +beneath this delightful valley and silent stream. I had often +visited the same spot with Charlotte, and witnessed that glorious +sight; and now -- I was walking up and down the very avenue which +was so dear to me. A secret sympathy had frequently drawn me +thither before I knew Charlotte; and we were delighted when, in +our early acquaintance, we discovered that we each loved the same +spot, which is indeed as romantic as any that ever captivated the +fancy of an artist. + +>From beneath the chestnut trees, there is an extensive view. But +I remember that I have mentioned all this in a former letter, and +have described the tall mass of beech trees at the end, and how +the avenue grows darker and darker as it winds its way among them, +till it ends in a gloomy recess, which has all the charm of a +mysterious solitude. I still remember the strange feeling of +melancholy which came over me the first time I entered that dark +retreat, at bright midday. I felt some secret foreboding that it +would, one day, be to me the scene of some happiness or misery. + +I had spent half an hour struggling between the contending thoughts +of going and returning, when I heard them coming up the terrace. +I ran to meet them. I trembled as I took her hand, and kissed it. +As we reached the top of the terrace, the moon rose from behind +the wooded hill. We conversed on many subjects, and, without +perceiving it, approached the gloomy recess. Charlotte entered, +and sat down. Albert seated himself beside her. I did the same, +but my agitation did not suffer me to remain long seated. I got +up, and stood before her, then walked backward and forward, and +sat down again. I was restless and miserable. Charlotte drew our +attention to the beautiful effect of the moonlight, which threw a +silver hue over the terrace in front of us, beyond the beech trees. +It was a glorious sight, and was rendered more striking by the +darkness which surrounded the spot where we were. We remained for +some time silent, when Charlotte observed, "Whenever I walk by +moonlight, it brings to my remembrance all my beloved and departed +friends, and I am filled with thoughts of death and futurity. We +shall live again, Werther!" she continued, with a firm but feeling +voice; "but shall we know one another again what do you think? +what do you say?" + +"Charlotte," I said, as I took her hand in mine, and my eyes filled +with tears, "we shall see each other again -- here and hereafter +we shall meet again." I could say no more. Why, Wilhelm, should +she put this question to me, just at the monent when the fear of +our cruel separation filled my heart? + +"And oh! do those departed ones know how we are employed here? do +they know when we are well and happy? do they know when we recall +their memories with the fondest love? In the silent hour of +evening the shade of my mother hovers around me; when seated +in the midst of my children, I see them assembled near me, as +they used to assemble near her; and then I raise my anxious eyes +to heaven, and wish she could look down upon us, and witness how +I fulfil the promise I made to her in her last moments, to be a +mother to her children. With what emotion do I then exclaim, +'Pardon, dearest of mothers, pardon me, if I do not adequately +supply your place! Alas! I do my utmost. They are clothed and +fed; and, still better, they are loved and educated. Could you +but see, sweet saint! the peace and harmony that dwells amongst +us, you would glorify God with the warmest feelings of gratitude, +to whom, in your last hour, you addressed such fervent prayers for +our happiness.'" Thus did she express herself; but O Wilhelm! who +can do justice to her language? how can cold and passionless words +convey the heavenly expressions of the spirit? Albert interrupted +her gently. "This affects you too deeply, my dear Charlotte. I +know your soul dwells on such recollections wlth intense delight; +but I implore -- " "O Albert!" she continued, "I am sure you do +not forget the evenings when we three used to sit at the little +round table, when papa was absent, and the little ones had retired. +You often had a good book with you, but seldom read it; the +conversation of that noble being was preferable to everything, -- +that beautiful, bright, gentle, and yet ever-toiling woman. God +alone knows how I have supplicated with tears on my nightly couch, +that I might be like her." + +I threw myself at her feet, and, seizing her hand, bedewed it with +a thousand tears. "Charlotte!" I exclaimed, "God's blessing and +your mother's spirit are upon you." "Oh! that you had known her," +she said, with a warm pressure of the hand. "She was worthy of +being known to you." I thought I should have fainted: never had +I received praise so flattering. She continued, "And yet she was +doomed to die in the flower of her youth, when her youngest child +was scarcely six months old. Her illness was but short, but she +was calm and resigned; and it was only for her children, especially +the youngest, that she felt unhappy. When her end drew nigh, she +bade me bring them to her. I obeyed. The younger ones knew nothing +of their approaching loss, while the elder ones were quite overcome +with grief. They stood around the bed; and she raised her feeble +hands to heaven, and prayed over them; then, kissing them in turn, +she dismissed them, and said to me, 'Be you a mother to them.' I +gave her my hand. 'You are promising much, my child,' she said: +'a mother's fondness and a mother's care! I have often witnessed, +by your tears of gratitude, that you know what is a mother's +tenderness: show it to your brothers and sisters, and be dutiful +and faithful to your father as a wife; you will be his comfort.' +She inquired for him. He had retired to conceal his intolerable +anguish, -- he was heartbroken, "Albert, you were in the room. +She heard some one moving: she inquired who it was, and desired +you to approach. She surveyed us both with a look of composure +and satisfaction, expressive of her conviction that we should be +happy, -- happy with one another." Albert fell upon her neck, and +kissed her, and exclaimed, "We are so, and we shall be so!" Even +Albert, generally so tranquil, had quite lost his composure; and +I was excited beyond expression. + +"And such a being," She continued, "was to leave us, Werther! +Great God, must we thus part with everything we hold dear in this +world? Nobody felt this more acutely than the children: they cried +and lamented for a long time afterward, complaining that men had +carried away their dear mamma." + +Charlotte rose. It aroused me; but I continued sitting, and held +her hand. "Let us go," she said: "it grows late." She attempted +to withdraw her hand: I held it still. "We shall see each other +again," I exclaimed: "we shall recognise each other under every +possible change! I am going," I continued, "going willingly; but, +should I say for ever, perhaps I may not keep my word. Adieu, +Charlotte; adieu, Albert. We shall meet again." "Yes: tomorrow, +I think," she answered with a smile. Tomorrow! how I felt the word! +Ah! she little thought, when she drew her hand away from mine. +They walked down the avenue. I stood gazing after them in the +moonlight. I threw myself upon the ground, and wept: I then sprang +up, and ran out upon the terrace, and saw, under the shade of the +linden-trees, her white dress disappearing near the garden-gate. +I stretched out my arms, and she vanished. + +BOOK II. + +OCTOBER 2O. + +We arrived here yesterday. The ambassador is indisposed, and will +not go out for some days. If he were less peevish and morose, all +would be well. I see but too plainly that Heaven has destined me +to severe trials; but courage! a light heart may bear anything. +A light heart! I smile to find such a word proceeding from my pen. +A little more lightheartedness would render me the happiest being +under the sun. But must I despair of my talents and faculties, +whilst others of far inferior abilities parade before me with the +utmost self-satisfaction? Gracious Providence, to whom I owe all +my powers, why didst thou not withhold some of those blessings I +possess, and substitute in their place a feeling of self-confidence +and contentment? + +But patience! all will yet be well; for I assure you, my dear +friend, you were right: since I have been obliged to associate +continually with other people, and observe what they do, and how +they employ themselves, I have become far better satisfied with +myself. For we are so constituted by nature, that we are ever +prone to compare ourselves with others; and our happiness or misery +depends very much on the objects and persons around us. On this +account, nothing is more dangerous than solitude: there our +imagination, always disposed to rise, taking a new flight on the +wings of fancy, pictures to us a chain of beings of whom we seem +the most inferior. All things appear greater than they really +are, and all seem superior to us. This operation of the mind is +quite natural: we so continually feel our own imperfections, and +fancy we perceive in others the qualities we do not possess, +attributing to them also all that we enjoy ourselves, that by this +process we form the idea of a perfect, happy man, -- a man, however, +who only exists in our own imagination. + +But when, in spite of weakness and disappointments, we set to work +in earnest, and persevere steadily, we often find, that, though +obliged continually to tack, we make more way than others who have +the assistance of wind and tide; and, in truth, there can be no +greater satisfaction than to keep pace with others or outstrip +them in the race. + +November 26. + +I begin to find my situation here more tolerable, considering all +circumstances. I find a great advantage in being much occupied; +and the number of persons I meet, and their different pursuits, +create a varied entertainment for me. I have formed the acquaintance +of the Count C-- and I esteem him more and more every day. He is +a man of strong understanding and great discernment; but, though +he sees farther than other people, he is not on that account cold +in his manner, but capable of inspiring and returning the warmest +affection. He appeared interested in me on one occasion, when I +had to transact some business with him. He perceived, at the first +word, that we understood each other, and that he could converse +with me in a different tone from what he used with others. I +cannot sufficiently esteem his frank and open kindness to me. It +is the greatest and most genuine of pleasures to observe a great +mind in sympathy with our own. + +DECEMBER 24. + +As I anticipated, the ambassador occasions me infinite annoyance. +He is the most punctilious blockhead under heaven. He does +everything step by step, with the trifling minuteness of an old +woman; and he is a man whom it is impossible to please, because +he is never pleased with himself. I like to do business regularly +and cheerfully, and, when it is finished, to leave it. But he +constantly returns my papers to me, saying, "They will do," but +recommending me to look over them again, as "one may always improve +by using a better word or a more appropriate particle." I then +lose all patience, and wish myself at the devil's. Not a conjunction, +not an adverb, must be omitted: he has a deadly antipathy to all +those transpositions of which I am so fond; and, if the music of +our periods is not tuned to the established, official key, he +cannot comprehend our meaning. It is deplorable to be connected +with such a fellow. + +My acquaintance with the Count C-- is the only compensation for +such an evil. He told me frankly, the other day, that he was much +displeased with the difficulties and delays of the ambassador; +that people like him are obstacles, both to themselves and to +others. "But," added he, "one must submit, like a traveller who +has to ascend a mountain: if the mountain was not there, the road +would be both shorter and pleasanter; but there it is, and he must +get over it." + +The old man perceives the count's partiality for me: this annoys +him, and, he seizes every opportunity to depreciate the count in +my hearing. I naturally defend him, and that only makes matters +worse. Yesterday he made me indignant, for he also alluded to me. +"The count," he said, "is a man of the world, and a good man of +business: his style is good, and he writes with facility; but, +like other geniuses, he has no solid learning." He looked at me +with an expression that seemed to ask if I felt the blow. But it +did not produce the desired effect: I despise a man who can think +and act in such a manner. However, I made a stand, and answered +with not a little warmth. The count, I said, was a man entitled +to respect, alike for his character and his acquirements. I had +never met a person whose mind was stored with more useful and +extensive knowledge, -- who had, in fact, mastered such an infinite +variety of subjects, and who yet retained all his activity for the +details of ordinary business. This was altogether beyond his +comprehension; and I took my leave, lest my anger should be too +highly excited by some new absurdity of his. + +And you are to blame for all this, you who persuaded me to bend +my neck to this yoke by preaching a life of activity to me. If +the man who plants vegetables, and carries his corn to town on +market-days, is not more usefully employed than I am, then let me +work ten years longer at the galleys to which I am now chained. + +Oh, the brilliant wretchedness, the weariness, that one is doomed +to witness among the silly people whom we meet in society here! +The ambition of rank! How they watch, how they toil, to gain +precedence! What poor and contemptible passions are displayed in +their utter nakedness! We have a woman here, for example, who +never ceases to entertain the company with accounts of her family +and her estates. Any stranger would consider her a silly being, +whose head was turned by her pretensions to rank and property; but +she is in reality even more ridiculous, the daughter of a mere +magistrate's clerk from this neighbourhood. I cannot understand +how human beings can so debase themselves. + +Every day I observe more and more the folly of judging of others +by ourselves; and I have so much trouble with myseif, and my own +heart is in such constant agitation, that I am well content to let +others pursue their own course, if they only allow me the same +privilege. + +What provokes me most is the unhappy extent to which distinctions +of rank are carried. I know perfectly well how necessary are +inequalities of condition, and I am sensible of the advantages I +myself derive therefrom; but I would not have these institutions +prove a barrier to the small chance of happiness which I may enjoy +on this earth. + +I have lately become acquainted with a Miss B--, a very agreeable +girl, who has retained her natural manners in the midst of artificial +life. Our first conversation pleased us both equally; and, at +taking leave, I requested permission to visit her. She consented +in so obliging a manner, that I waited with impatience for the +arrival of the happy moment. She is not a native of this place, +but resides here with her aunt. The countenance of the old lady +is not prepossessing. I paid her much attention, addressing the +greater part of my conversation to her; and, in less than half an +hour, I discovered what her niece subsequently acknowledged to me, +that her aged aunt, having but a small fortune, and a still smaller +share of understanding, enjoys no satisfaction except in the +pedigree of her ancestors, no protection save in her noble birth, +and no enjoyment but in looking from her castle over the heads of +the humble citizens. She was, no doubt, handsome in her youth, +and in her early years probably trifled away her time in rendering +many a poor youth the sport of her caprice: in her riper years she +has submitted to the yoke of a veteran officer, who, in return for +her person and her small independence, has spent with her what we +may designate her age of brass. He is dead; and she is now a +widow, and deserted. She spends her iron age alone, and would not +be approached, except for the loveliness of her niece. + +JANUARY 8, 1772. + +What beings are men, whose whole thoughts are occupied with form +and ceremony, who for years together devote their mental and +physical exertions to the task of advancing themselves but one +step, and endeavouring to occupy a higher place at the table. Not +that such persons would otherwise want employment: on the contrary, +they give themselves much trouble by neglecting important business +for such petty trifles. Last week a question of precedence arose +at a sledging-party, and all our amusement was spoiled. + +The silly creatures cannot see that it is not place which constitutes +real greatness, since the man who occupies the first place but +seldom plays the principal part. How many kings are governed by +their ministers -- how many ministers by their secretaries? Who, in +such cases, is really the chief? He, as it seems to me, who can +see through the others, and possesses strength or skill enough to +make their power or passions subservient to the execution of his +own designs. + +JANUARY 20. + +I must write to you from this place, my dear Charlotte, from a +small room in a country inn, where I have taken shelter from a +severe storm. During my whole residence in that wretched place +D--, where I lived amongst strangers, -- strangers, indeed, to +this heart, -- I never at any time felt the smallest inclination +to correspond with you; but in this cottage, in this retirement, +in this solitude, with the snow and hail beating against my +lattice-pane, you are my first thought. The instant I entered, +your figure rose up before me, and the remembrance! O my Charlotte, +the sacred, tender remembrance! Gracious Heaven! restore to me +the happy moment of our first acquaintance. + +Could you but see me, my dear Charlotte, in the whirl of +dissipation, -- how my senses are dried up, but my heart is at no +time full. I enjoy no single moment of happiness: all is vain -- +nothing touches me. I stand, as it were, before the raree-show: +I see the little puppets move, and I ask whether it is not an +optical illusion. I am amused with these puppets, or, rather, I +am myself one of them: but, when I sometimes grasp my neighbour's +hand, I feel that it is not natural; and I withdraw mine with a +shudder. In the evening I say I will enjoy the next morning's +sunrise, and yet I remain in bed: in the day I promise to ramble +by moonlight; and I, nevertheless, remain at home. I know not why +I rise, nor why I go to sleep. + +The leaven which animated my existence is gone: the charm which +cheered me in the gloom of night, and aroused me from my morning +slumbers, is for ever fled. + +I have found but one being here to interest me, a Miss B--. She +resembles you, my dear Charlotte, if any one can possibly resemble +you. "Ah!" you will say, "he has learned how to pay fine compliments." +And this is partly true. I have been very agreeable lately, as +it was not in my power to be otherwise. I have, moreover, a deal +of wit: and the ladies say that no one understands flattery better, +or falsehoods you will add; since the one accomplishment invariably +accompanies the other. But I must tell you of Miss B--. She has +abundance of soul, which flashes from her deep blue eyes. Her +rank is a torment to her, and satisfies no one desire of her heart. +She would gladly retire from this whirl of fashion, and we often +picture to ourselves a life of undisturbed happiness in distant +scenes of rural retirement: and then we speak of you, my dear +Charlotte; for she knows you, and renders homage to your merits; +but her homage is not exacted, but voluntary, she loves you, and +delights to hear you made the subject of conversation. + +Oh, that I were sitting at your feet in your favourite little room, +with the dear children playing around us! If they became troublesome +to you, I would tell them some appalling goblin story; and they +would crowd round me with silent attention. The sun is setting +in glory; his last rays are shining on the snow, which covers the +face of the country: the storm is over, and I must return to my +dungeon. Adieu!-- Is Albert with you? and what is he to you? God +forgive the question. + +FEBRUARY 8. + +For a week past we have had the most wretched weather: but this +to me is a blessing; for, during my residence here, not a single +fine day has beamed from the heavens, but has been lost to me by +the intrusion of somebody. During the severity of rain, sleet, +frost, and storm, I congratulate myself that it cannot be worse +indoors than abroad, nor worse abroad than it is within doors; and +so I become reconciled. When the sun rises bright in the morning, +and promises a glorious day, I never omit to exclaim, "There, now, +they have another blessing from Heaven, which they will be sure +to destroy: they spoil everything, -- health, fame, happiness, +amusement; and they do this generally through folly, ignorance, +or imbecility, and always, according to their own account, with +the best intentions!" I could often beseech them, on my bended +knees, to be less resolved upon their own destruction. + +FEBRUARY 17. + +I fear that my ambassador and I shall not continue much longer +together. He is really growing past endurance. He transacts +his business in so ridiculous a manner, that I am often compelled +to contradict him, and do things my own way; and then, of course, +he thinks them very ill done. He complained of me lately on this +account at court; and the minister gave me a reprimand, -- a +gentle one it is true, but still a reprimand. In consequence of +this, I was about to tender my resignation, when I received a +letter, to which I submitted with great respect, on account of the +high, noble, and generous spirit which dictated it. He endeavoured +to soothe my excessive sensibility, paid a tribute to my extreme +ideas of duty, of good example, and of perseverance in business, +as the fruit of my youthful ardour, an impulse which he did not +seek to destroy, but only to moderate, that it might have proper +play and be productive of good. So now I am at rest for another +week, and no longer at variance with myself. Content and peace +of mind are valuable things: I could wish, my dear friend, that +these precious jewels were less transitory. + +FERRUARY 20. + +God bless you, my dear friends, and may he grant you that happiness +which he denies to me! + +I thank you, Albert, for having deceived me. I waited for the +news that your wedding-day was fixed; and I intended on that day, +with solemnity, to take down Charlotte's profile from the wall, +and to bury it with some other papers I possess. You are now +united, and her picture still remains here. Well, let it remain! +Why should it not? I know that I am still one of your society, +that I still occupy a place uninjured in Charlotte's heart, that +I hold the second place therein; and I intend to keep it. Oh, I +should become mad if she could forget! Albert, that thought is +hell! Farewell, Albert farewell, angel of heaven farewell, Charlotte! + +MARCH 15. + +I have just had a sad adventure, which will drive me away from +here. I lose all patience! -- Death! -- It is not to be remedied; +and you alone are to blame, for you urged and impelled me to fill +a post for which I was by no means suited. I have now reason to +be satisfied, and so have you! But, that you may not again attribute +this fatality to my impetuous temper, I send you, my dear sir, a +plain and simple narration of the affair, as a mere chronicler of +facts would describe it. + +The Count of O-- likes and distinguishes me. It is well known, +and I have mentioned this to you a hundred times. Yesterday I +dined with him. It is the day on which the nobility are accustomed +to assemble at his house in the evening. I never once thought of +the assembly, nor that we subalterns did not belong to such society. +Well, I dined with the count; and, after dinner, we adjourned to +the large hall. We walked up and down together: and I conversed +with him, and with Colonel B--, who joined us; and in this manner +the hour for the assembly approached. God knows, I was thinking +of nothing, when who should enter but the honourable Lady accompanied +by her noble husband and their silly, scheming daughter, with her +small waist and flat neck; and, with disdainful looks and a haughty +air they passed me by. As I heartily detest the whole race, I +determined upon going away; and only waited till the count had +disengaged himself from their impertinent prattle, to take leave, +when the agreeable Miss B-- came in. As I never meet her without +experiencing a heartfelt pleasure, I stayed and talked to her, +leaning over the back of her chair, and did not perceive, till +after some time, that she seemed a little confused, and ceased to +answer me with her usual ease of manner. I was struck with it. +"Heavens!" I said to myself, "can she, too, be like the rest?" I +felt annoyed, and was about to withdraw; but I remained, +notwithstanding, forming excuses for her conduct, fancying she did +not mean it, and still hoping to receive some friendly recognition. +The rest of the company now arrived. There was the Baron F --, in +an entire suit that dated from the coronation of Francis I.; the +Chancellor N--, with his deaf wife; the shabbily-dressed I--, whose +old-fashioned coat bore evidence of modern repairs: this crowned +the whole. I conversed with some of my acquaintances, but they +answered me laconically. I was engaged in observing Miss B--, and +did not notice that the women were whispering at the end of the +room, that the murmur extended by degrees to the men, that Madame +S-- addressed the count with much warmth (this was all related to +me subsequently by Miss B--); till at length the count came up to +me, and took me to the window. "You know our ridiculous customs," +he said. "I perceive the company is rather displeased at your +being here. I would not on any account--" "I beg your excellency's +pardon!" I exclaimed. "I ought to have thought of this before, +but I know you will forgive this little inattention. I was going," +I added, "some time ago, but my evil genius detained me." And I +smiled and bowed, to take my leave. He shook me by the hand, in +a manner which expressed everything. I hastened at once from the +illustrious assembly, sprang into a carriage, and drove to M--. +I contemplated the setting sun from the top of the hill, and read +that beautiful passage in Homer, where Ulysses is entertained by +the hospitable herdsmen. This was indeed delightful. + +I returned home to supper in the evening. But few persons were +assembled in the room. They had turned up a corner of the table-cloth, +and were playing at dice. The good-natured A-- came in. He laid +down his hat when he saw me, approached me, and said in a low tone, +"You have met with a disagreeable adventure." "I!" I exclaimed. +"The count obliged you to withdraw from the assembly!" "Deuce +take the assembly!" said I. "I was very glad to be gone." "I am +delighted," he added, "that you take it so lightly. I am only +sorry that it is already so much spoken of." The circumstance +then began to pain me. I fancied that every one who sat down, and +even looked at me, was thinking of this incident; and my heart +became embittered. + +And now I could plunge a dagger into my bosom, when I hear myself +everywhere pitied, and observe the triumph of my enemies, who say +that this is always the case with vain persons, whose heads are +turned with conceit, who affect to despise forms and such petty, +idle nonsense. + +Say what you will of fortitude, but show me the man who can patiently +endure the laughter of fools, when they have obtained an advantage +over him. 'Tis only when their nonsense is without foundation +that one can suffer it without complaint. + +March 16. + +Everything conspires against me. I met Miss B-- walking to-day. +I could not help joining her; and, when we were at a little distance +from her companions, I expressed my sense of her altered manner +toward me. "O Werther!" she said, in a tone of emotion, "you, who +know my heart, how could you so ill interpret my distress? What +did I not suffer for you, from the moment you entered the room! +I foresaw it all, a hundred times was I on the point of mentioning +it to you. I knew that the S--s and T--s, with their husbands, +would quit the room, rather than remain in your company. I knew +that the count would not break with them: and now so much is said +about it." "How!" I exclaimed, and endeavoured to conceal my +emotion; for all that Adelin had mentioned to me yesterday recurred +to me painfully at that moment. "Oh, how much it has already cost +me!" said this amiable girl, while her eyes filled with tears. I +could scarcely contain myself, and was ready to throw myself at +her feet. "Explain yourself!" I cried. Tears flowed down her +cheeks. I became quite frantic. She wiped them away, without +attempting to conceal them. "You know my aunt," she continued; +"she was present: and in what light does she consider the affair! +Last night, and this morning, Werther, I was compelled to listen +to a lecture upon my, acquaintance with you. I have been obliged +to hear you condemned and depreciated; and I could not -- I dared +not -- say much in your defence." + +Every word she uttered was a dagger to my heart. She did not feel +what a mercy it would have been to conceal everything from me. +She told me, in addition, all the impertinence that would be further +circulated, and how the malicious would triumph; how they would +rejoice over the punishment of my pride, over my humiliation for +that want of esteem for others with which I had often been reproached. +To hear all this, Wilhelm, uttered by her in a voice of the most +sincere sympathy, awakened all my passions; and I am still in a +state of extreme excitement. I wish I could find a man to jeer +me about this event. I would sacrifice him to my resentment. The +sight of his blood might possibly be a relief to my fury. A hundred +times have I seized a dagger, to give ease to this oppressed heart. +Naturalists tell of a noble race of horses that instinctively open +a vein with their teeth, when heated and exhausted by a long course, +in order to breathe more freely. I am often tempted to open a +vein, to procure for myself everlasting liberty. + +MARCH 24. + +I have tendered my resignation to the court. I hope it will be +accepted, and you will forgive me for not having previously consulted +you. It is necessary I should leave this place. I know all you +will urge me to stay, and therefore I beg you will soften this +news to my mother. I am unable to do anything for myself: how, +then, should I be competent to assist others? It will afflict her +that I should have interrupted that career which would have made +me first a privy councillor, and then minister, and that I should +look behind me, in place of advancing. Argue as you will, combine +all the reasons which should have induced me to remain, I am going: +that is sufficient. But, that you may not be ignorant of my +destination, I may mention that the Prince of -- is here. He is +much pleased with my company; and, having heard of my intention +to resign, he has invited me to his country house, to pass the +spring months with him. I shall be left completely my own master; +and, as we agree on all subjects but one, I shall try my fortune, +and accompany him. + +APRIL l9. + +Thanks for both your letters. I delayed my reply, and withheld +this letter, till I should obtain an answer from the court. I +feared my mother might apply to the minister to defeat my purpose. +But my request is granted, my resignation is accepted. I shall +not recount with what reluctance it was accorded, nor relate what +the minister has written: you would only renew your lamentations. +The crown prince has sent me a present of five and twenty ducats; +and, indeed, such goodness has affected me to tears. For this +reason I shall not require from my mother the money for which I +lately applied. + +MAY 5. + +I leave this place to-morrow; and, as my native place is only six +miles from the high road, I intend to visit it once more, and +recall the happy dreams of my childhood. I shall enter at the +same gate through which I came with my mother, when, after my +father's death, she left that delightful retreat to immure herself +in your melancholy town. Adieu, my dear friend: you shall hear of +my future career. + +MAY 9. + +I have paid my visit to my native place with all the devotion of +a pilgrim, and have experienced many unexpected emotions. Near +the great elm tree, which is a quarter of a league from the village, +I got out of the carriage, and sent it on before, that alone, and +on foot, I might enjoy vividly and heartily all the pleasure of +my recollections. I stood there under that same elm which was +formerly the term and object of my walks. How things have since +changed! Then, in happy ignorance, I sighed for a world I did not +know, where I hoped to find every pleasure and enjoyment which my +heart could desire; and now, on my return from that wide world, O +my friend, how many disappointed hopes and unsuccessful plans have +I brought back! + +As I contemplated the mountains which lay stretched out before me, +I thought how often they had been the object of my dearest desires. +Here used I to sit for hours together with my eyes bent upon them, +ardently longing to wander in the shade of those woods, to lose +myself in those valleys, which form so delightful an object in the +distance. With what reluctance did I leave this charming spot; +when my hour of recreation was over, and my leave of absence +expired! I drew near to the village: all the well-known old +summerhouses and gardens were recognised again; I disliked the new +ones, and all other alterations which had taken place. I entered +the village, and all my former feelings returned. I cannot, my +dear friend, enter into details, charming as were my sensations: +they would be dull in the narration. I had intended to lodge in +the market-place, near our old house. As soon as I entered, I +perceived that the schoolroom, where our childhood had been taught +by that good old woman, was converted into a shop. I called to +mind the sorrow, the heaviness, the tears, and oppression of heart, +which I experienced in that confinement. Every step produced some +particular impression. A pilgrim in the Holy Land does not meet +so many spots pregnant with tender recollections, and his soul is +hardly moved with greater devotion. One incident will serve for +illustration. I followed the course of a stream to a farm, formerly +a delightful walk of mine, and paused at the spot, where, when +boys, we used to amuse ourselves making ducks and drakes upon the +water. I recollected so well how I used formerly to watch the +course of that same stream, following it with inquiring eagerness, +forming romantic ideas of the countries it was to pass through; +but my imagination was soon exhausted: while the water continued +flowing farther and farther on, till my fancy became bewildered +by the contemplation of an invisible distance. Exactly such, my +dear friend, so happy and so confined, were the thoughts of our +good ancestors. Their feelings and their poetry were fresh as +childhood. And, when Ulysses talks of the immeasurable sea and +boundless earth, his epithets are true, natural, deeply felt, and +mysterious. Of what importance is it that I have learned, with +every schoolboy, that the world is round? Man needs but little +earth for enjoyment, and still less for his final repose. + +I am at present with the prince at his hunting lodge. He is a man +with whom one can live happily. He is honest and unaffected. There +are, however, some strange characters about him, whom I cannot at +all understand. They do not seem vicious, and yet they do not +carry the appearance of thoroughly honest men. Sometimes I am +disposed to believe them honest, and yet I cannot persuade myself +to confide in them. It grieves me to hear the prince occasionally +talk of things which he has only read or heard of, and always with +the same view in which they have been represented by others. + +He values my understanding and talents more highly than my heart, +but I am proud of the latter only. It is the sole source of +everything of our strength, happiness, and misery. All the knowledge +I possess every one else can acquire, but my heart is exclusively +my own. + +MAY 25. + +I have had a plan in my head of which I did not intend to speak +to you until it was accomplished: now that it has failed, I may +as well mention it. I wished to enter the army, and had long been +desirous of taking the step. This, indeed, was the chief reason +for my coming here with the prince, as he is a general in the +service. I communicated my design to him during one of our walks +together. He disapproved of it, and it would have been actual +madness not to have listened to his reasons. + +JUNE 11. + +Say what you will, I can remain here no longer. Why should I +remain? Time hangs heavy upon my hands. The prince is as gracious +to me as any one could be, and yet I am not at my ease. There is, +indeed, nothing in common between us. He is a man of understanding, +but quite of the ordinary kind. His conversation affords me no +more amusement than I should derive from the perusal of a well-written +book. I shall remain here a week Ionger, and then start again on +my travels. My drawings are the best things I have done since I +came here. The prince has a taste for the arts, and would improve +if his mind were not fettered by cold rules and mere technical +ideas. I often lose patience, when, with a glowing imagination, +I am giving expression to art and nature, he interferes with learned +suggestions, and uses at random the technical phraseology of artists. + +JULY 16. + +Once more I am a wanderer, a pilgrim, through the world. But what +else are you! + +JULY 18. + +Whither am I going? I will tell you in confidence. I am obliged +to continue a fortnight longer here, and then I think it would be +better for me to visit the mines in --. But I am only deluding +myself thus. The fact is, I wish to be near Charlotte again, that +is all. I smile at the suggestions of my heart, and obey its +dictates. + +JULY 29. + +No, no! it is yet well all is well! I her husband! O God, who +gave me being, if thou hadst destined this happiness for me, my +whole life would have been one continual thanksgiving! But I will +not murmur -- forgive these tears, forgive these fruitless wishes. +She -- my wife! Oh, the very thought of folding that dearest of +Heaven's creatures in my arms! Dear Wilhelm, my whole frame feels +convulsed when I see Albert put his arms around her slender waist! + +And shall I avow it? Why should I not, Wilhelm? She would have +been happier with me than with him. Albert is not the man to +satisfy the wishes of such a heart. He wants a certain sensibility; +he wants -- in short, their hearts do not beat in unison. How +often, my dear friend, im reading a passage from some interesting +book, when my heart and Charlotte's seemed to meet, and in a hundred +other instances when our sentiments were unfolded by the story of +some fictitious character, have I felt that we were made for each +other! But, dear Wilhelm, he loves her with his whole soul; and +what does not such a love deserve? + +I have been interrupted by an insufferable visit. I have dried +my tears, and composed my thoughts. Adieu, my best friend! + +AUGUST 4. + +I am not alone unfortunate. All men are disappointed in their +hopes, and deceived in their expectations. I have paid a visit +to my good old woman under the lime-trees. The eldest boy ran +out to meet me: his exclamation of joy brought out his mother, +but she had a very melancholy look. Her first word was, "Alas! +dear sir, my little John is dead." He was the youngest of her +children. I was silent. "And my husband has returned from +Switzerland without any money; and, if some kind people had not +assisted him, he must have begged his way home. He was taken ill +with fever on his journey." I could answer nothing, but made the +little one a present. She invited me to take some fruit: I complied, +and left the place with a sorrowful heart. + +AUGUST 21. + +My sensations are constantly changing. Sometimes a happy prospect +opens before me; but alas! it is only for a moment; and then, when +I am lost in reverie, I cannot help saying to myself, "If Albert +were to die? -- Yes, she would become -- and I should be" -- and +so I pursue a chimera, till it leads me to the edge of a precipice +at which I shudder. + +When I pass through the same gate, and walk along the same road +which first conducted me to Charlotte, my heart sinks within me +at the change that has since taken place. All, all, is altered! +No sentiment, no pulsation of my heart, is the same. My sensations +are such as would occur to some departed prince whose spirit should +return to visit the superb palace which he had built in happy times, +adorned with costly magnificence, and left to a beloved son, but +whose glory he should find departed, and its halls deserted and +in ruins. + +SEPTEMBER 3. + +I sometimes cannot understand how she can love another, how she +dares love another, when I love nothing in this world so completely, +so devotedly, as I love her, when I know only her, and have no +other possession. + +SEPTEMBER 4. + +It is even so! As nature puts on her autumn tints it becomes +autumn with me and around me. My leaves are sere and yellow, and +the neighbouring trees are divested of their foliage. Do you +remember my writing to you about a peasant boy shortly after my +arrival here? I have just made inquiries about him in Walheim. +They say he has been dismissed from his service, and is now avoided +by every one. I met him yesterday on the road, going to a +neighbouring village. I spoke to him, and he told me his story. +It interested me exceedingly, as you will easily understand when +I repeat it to you. But why should I trouble you? Why should I +not reserve all my sorrow for myself? Why should I continue to +give you occasion to pity and blame me? But no matter: this also +is part of my destiny. + +At first the peasant lad answered my inquiries with a sort of +subdued melancholy, which seemed to me the mark of a timid disposition; +but, as we grew to understand each other, he spoke with less reserve, +and openly confessed his faults, and lamented his misfortune. I +wish, my dear friend, I could give proper expression to his +language. He told me with a sort of pleasurable recollection, +that, after my departure, his passion for his mistress increased +daily, until at last he neither knew what he did nor what he said, +nor what was to become of him. He could neither eat nor drink nor +sleep: he felt a sense of suffocation; he disobeyed all orders, +and forgot all commands involuntarily; he seemed as if pursued by +an evil spirit, till one day, knowing that his mistress had gone +to an upper chamber, he had followed, or, rather, been drawn after +her. As she proved deaf to his entreaties, he had recourse to +violence. He knows not what happened; but he called God to witness +that his intentions to her were honourable, and that he desired +nothing more sincerely than that they should marry, and pass their +lives together. When he had come to this point, he began to +hesitate, as if there was something which he had not courage to +utter, till at length he acknowledged with some confusion certain +little confidences she had encouraged, and liberties she had allowed. +He broke off two or three times in his narration, and assured me +most earnestly that he had no wish to make her bad, as he termed +it, for he loved her still as sincerely as ever; that the tale +had never before escaped his lips, and was only now told to convince +me that he was not utterly lost and abandoned. And here, my dear +friend, I must commence the old song which you know I utter eternally. +If I could only represent the man as he stood, and stands now +before me, could I only give his true expressions, you would feel +compelled to sympathise in his fate. But enough: you, who know my +misfortune and my disposition, can easily comprehend the attraction +which draws me toward every unfortunate being, but particularly +toward him whose story I have recounted. + +On perusing this letter a second time, I find I have omitted the +conclusion of my tale; but it is easily supplied. She became +reserved toward him, at the instigation of her brother who had +long hated him, and desired his expulsion from the house, fearing +that his sister's second marriage might deprive his children of +the handsome fortune they expected from her; as she is childless. +He was dismissed at length; and the whole affair occasioned so +much scandal, that the mistress dared not take him back, even if +she had wished it. She has since hired another servant, with whom, +they say, her brother is equally displeased, and whom she is likely +to marry; but my informant assures me that he himself is determined +not to survive such a catastrophe. + +This story is neither exaggerated nor embellished: indeed, I have +weakened and impaired it in the narration, by the necessity of +using the more refined expressions of society. + +This love, then, this constancy, this passion, is no poetical +fiction. It is actual, and dwells in its greatest purity amongst +that class of mankind whom we term rude, uneducated. We are the +educated, not the perverted. But read this story with attention, +I implore you. I am tranquil to-day, for I have been employed +upon this narration: you see by my writing that I am not so agitated +as usual. I read and re-read this tale, Wilhelm: it is the history +of your friend! My fortune has been and will be similar; and I +am neither half so brave nor half so determined as the poor wretch +with whom I hesitate to compare myself. + +SEPTEMBER 5. + +Charlotte had written a letter to her husband in the country, where +he was detained by business. It commenced, "My dearest love, +return as soon as possible: I await you with a thousand raptures." +A friend who arrived, brought word, that, for certain reasons, he +could not return immediately. Charlotte's letter was not forwarded, +and the same evening it fell into my hands. I read it, and smiled. +She asked the reason. "What a heavenly treasure is imagination:" +I exclaimed; "I fancied for a moment that this was written to me." +She paused, and seemed displeased. I was silent. + +SEPTEMBER 6. + +It cost me much to part with the blue coat which I wore the first +time I danced with Charlotte. But I could not possibly wear it +any longer. But I have ordered a new one, precisely similar, even +to the collar and sleeves, as well as a new waistcoat and pantaloons. + +But it does not produce the same effect upon me. I know not how +it is, but I hope in time I shall like it better. + +SEPTEMBER 12. + +She has been absent for some days. She went to meet Albert. +To-day I visited her: she rose to receive me, and I kissed her +hand most tenderly. + +A canary at the moment flew from a mirror, and settled upon her +shoulder. "Here is a new friend," she observed, while she made +him perch upon her hand: "he is a present for the children. What +a dear he is! Look at him! When I feed him, he flutters with his +wings, and pecks so nicely. He kisses me, too, only look!" + +She held the bird to her mouth; and he pressed her sweet lips with +so much fervour that he seemed to feel the excess of bliss which +he enjoyed. + +"He shall kiss you too," she added; and then she held the bird +toward me. His little beak moved from her mouth to mine, and the +delightful sensation seemed like the forerunner of the sweetest +bliss. + +"A kiss," I observed, "does not seem to satisfy him: he wishes for +food, and seems disappointed by these unsatisfactory endearments." + +"But he eats out of my mouth," she continued, and extended her +lips to him containing seed; and she smiled with all the charm of +a being who has allowed an innocent participation of her love. + +I turned my face away. She should not act thus. She ought not to +excite my imagination with such displays of heavenly innocence and +happiness, nor awaken my heart from its slumbers, in which it +dreams of the worthlessness of life! And why not? Because she +knows how much I love her. + +SEPTEMBER 15. + +It makes me wretched, Wilhelm, to think that there should be men +incapable of appreciating the few things which possess a real value +in life. You remember the walnut trees at S--, under which I used +to sit with Charlotte, during my visits to the worthy old vicar. +Those glorious trees, the very sight of which has so often filled +my heart with joy, how they adorned and refreshed the parsonage +yard, with their wide-extended branches! and how pleasing was our +remembrance of the good old pastor, by whose hands they were +planted so many years ago: The schoolmaster has frequently mentioned +his name. He had it from his grandfather. He must have been a +most excellent man; and, under the shade of those old trees, his +memory was ever venerated by me. The schoolmaster informed us +yesterday, with tears in his eyes, that those trees had been felled. +Yes, cut to the ground! I could, in my wrath, have slain the +monster who struck the first stroke. And I must endure this! -- +I, who, if I had had two such trees in my own court, and one had +died from old age, should have wept with real affliction. But +there is some comfort left, such a thing is sentiment, the whole +village murmurs at the misfortune; and I hope the vicar's wife +will soon find, by the cessation of the villagers' presents, how +much she has wounded the feelings of the neighborhhood. It was +she who did it, the wife of the present incumbent (our good old +man is dead), a tall, sickly creature who is so far right to +disregard the world, as the world totally disregards her. The +silly being affects to be learned, pretends to examine the canonical +books, lends her aid toward the new-fashioned reformation of +Christendom, moral and critical, and shrugs up her shoulders at +the mention of Lavater's enthusiasm. Her health is destroyed, on +account of which she is prevented from having any enjoyment here +below. Only such a creature could have cut down my walnut trees! +I can never pardon it. Hear her reasons. The falling leaves made +the court wet and dirty; the branches obstructed the light; boys +threw stones at the nuts when they were ripe, and the noise affected +her nerves; and disturbed her profound meditations, when she was +weighing the diffculties of Kennicot, Semler, and Michaelis. +Finding that all the parish, particularly the old people, were +displeased, I asked "why they allowed it?" "Ah, sir!" they replied, +"when the steward orders, what can we poor peasants do?" But one +thing has happened well. The steward and the vicar (who, for once, +thought to reap some advantage from the caprices of his wife) +intended to divide the trees between them. The revenue-office, +being informed of it, revived an old claim to the ground where the +trees had stood, and sold them to the best bidder. There they +still lie on the ground. If I were the sovereign, I should know +how to deal with them all, vicar, steward, and revenue-office. +Sovereign, did I say? I should, in that case, care little about +the trees that grew in the country. + +OCTOBER 10. + +Only to gaze upon her dark eyes is to me a source of happiness! +And what grieves me, is, that Albert does not seem so happy as he +-- hoped to be -- as I should have been -- if -- I am no friend +to these pauses, but here I cannot express it otherwise; and +probably I am explicit enough. + +OCTOBER 12. + +Ossian has superseded Homer in my heart. To what a world does +the illustrious bard carry me! To wander over pathless wilds, +surrounded by impetuous whirlwinds, where, by the feeble light +of the moon, we see the spirits of our ancestors; to hear from +the mountain-tops, mid the roar of torrents, their plaintive +sounds issuing from deep caverns, and the sorrowful lamentations +of a maiden who sighs and expires on the mossy tomb of the warrior +by whom she was adored. I meet this bard with silver hair; he +wanders in the valley; he seeks the footsteps of his fathers, and, +alas! he finds only their tombs. Then, contemplating the pale +moon, as she sinks beneath the waves of the rolling sea, the memory +of bygone days strikes the mind of the hero, days when approaching +danger invigorated the brave, and the moon shone upon his bark +laden with spoils, and returning in triumph. When I read in his +countenance deep sorrow, when I see his dying glory sink exhausted +into the grave, as he inhales new and heart-thrilling delight +from his approaching union with his beloved, and he casts a look +on the cold earth and the tall grass which is so soon to cover him, +and then exclaims, "The traveller will come, -- he will come who +has seen my beauty, and he will ask, 'Where is the bard, where is +the illustrious son of Fingal?' He will walk over my tomb, and +will seek me in vain!" Then, O my friend, I could instantly, like +a true and noble knight, draw my sword, and deliver my prince from +the long and painful languor of a living death, and dismiss my own +soul to follow the demigod whom my hand had set free! + +OCTOBER 19. + +Alas! the void the fearful void, which I feel in my bosom! Sometimes +I think, if I could only once but once, press her to my heart, this +dreadful void would be filled. + +OCTOBER 26. + +Yes, I feel certain, Wilhelm, and every day I become more certain, +that the existence of any being whatever is of very little consequence. +A friend of Charlotte's called to see her just now. I withdrew +into a neighbouring apartment, and took up a book; but, finding I +could not read, I sat down to write. I heard them converse in an +undertone: they spoke upon indifferent topics, and retailed the +news of the town. One was going to be married; another was ill, +very ill, she had a dry cough, her face was growing thinner daily, +and she had occasional fits. "N-- is very unwell too," said +Charlotte. "His limbs begin to swell already," answered the other; +and my lively imagination carried me at once to the beds of the +infirm. There I see them struggling against death, with all the +agonies of pain and horror; and these women, Wilhelm, talk of all +this with as much indifference as one would mention the death of +a stranger. And when I look around the apartment where I now am +-- when I see Charlotte's apparel lying before me, and Albert's +writings, and all those articles of furniture which are so familiar +to me, even to the very inkstand which I am using, -- when I think +what I am to this family -- everything. My friends esteem me; I often +contribute to their happiness, and my heart seems as if it could +not beat without them; and yet --- if I were to die, if I were +to be summoned from the midst of this circle, would they feel -- +or how long would they feel the void which my loss would make in +their existence? How long! Yes, such is the frailty of man, that +even there, where he has the greatest consciousness of his own +being, where he makes the strongest and most forcible impression, +even in the memory, in the heart, of his beloved, there also he +must perish, -- vanish, -- and that quickly. + +OCTOBER 27. + +I could tear open my bosom with vexation to think how little we +are capable of influencing the feelings of each other. No one +can communicate to me those sensations of love, joy, rapture, and +delight which I do not naturally possess; and, though my heart may +glow with the most lively affection, I cannot make the happiness +of one in whom the same warmth is not inherent. + +OCTOBER 27: Evening. + +I possess so much, but my love for her absorbs it all. I possess +so much, but without her I have nothing. + +OCTOBER 30. + +One hundred times have I been on the point of embracing her. +Heavens! what a torment it is to see so much loveliness passing +and repassing before us, and yet not dare to lay hold of it! +And laying hold is the most natural of human instincts. Do not +children touch everything they see? And I! + +NOVEMBER 3. + +Witness, Heaven, how often I lie down in my bed with a wish, and +even a hope, that I may never awaken again. And in the morning, +when I open my eyes, I behold the sun once more, and am wretched. +If I were whimsical, I might blame the weather, or an acquaintance, +or some personal disappointment, for my discontented mind; and then +this insupportable load of trouble would not rest entirely upon +myself. But, alas! I feel it too sadly. I am alone the cause +of my own woe, am I not? Truly, my own bosom contains the source +of all my sorrow, as it previously contained the source of all my +pleasure. Am I not the same being who once enjoyed an excess of +happiness, who, at every step, saw paradise open before him, and +whose heart was ever expanded toward the whole world? And this +heart is now dead, no sentiment can revive it; my eyes are dry; +and my senses, no more refreshed by the influence of soft tears, +wither and consume my brain. I suffer much, for I have lost the +only charm of life: that active, sacred power which created worlds +around me, -- it is no more. When I look from my window at the +distant hills, and behold the morning sun breaking through the +mists, and illuminating the country around, which is still wrapped +in silence, whilst the soft stream winds gently through the willows, +which have shed their leaves; when glorious nature displays all +her beauties before me, and her wondrous prospects are ineffectual +to extract one tear of joy from my withered heart, I feel that in +such a moment I stand like a reprobate before heaven, hardened, +insensible, and unmoved. Oftentimes do I then bend my knee to the +earth, and implore God for the blessing of tears, as the desponding +labourer in some scorching climate prays for the dews of heaven +to moisten his parched corn. + +But I feel that God does not grant sunshine or rain to our +importunate entreaties. And oh, those bygone days, whose memory +now torments me! why were they so fortunate? Because I then +waited with patience for the blessings of the Eternal, and received +his gifts with the grateful feelings of a thankful heart. + +NOVEMBER 8. + +Charlotte has reproved me for my excesses, with so much tenderness +and goodness! I have lately been in the habit of drinking more +wine than heretofore. "Don't do it," she said. "Think of Charlotte!" +"Think of you!" I answered; "need you bid me do so? Think of you +-- I do not think of you: you are ever before my soul! This very +morning I sat on the spot where, a few days ago, you descended +from the carriage, and--" She immediately changed the subject to +prevent me from pursuing it farther. My dear friend, my energies +are all prostrated: she can do with me what she pleases. + +NOVEMBER 15. + +I thank you, Wilhelm, for your cordial sympathy, for your excellent +advice; and I implore you to be quiet. Leave me to my sufferings. +In spite of my wretchedness, I have still strength enough for +endurance. I revere religion -- you know I do. I feel that it +can impart strength to the feeble and comfort to the afflicted, +but does it affect all men equally? Consider this vast universe: +you will see thousands for whom it has never existed, thousands +for whom it will never exist, whether it be preached to them, or +not; and must it, then, necessarily exist for me? Does not the +Son of God himself say that they are his whom the Father has given +to him? Have I been given to him? What if the Father will retain +me for himself, as my heart sometimes suggests? I pray you, do +not misinterpret this. Do not extract derision from my harmless +words. I pour out my whole soul before you. Silence were otherwise +preferable to me, but I need not shrink from a subject of which +few know more than I do myself. What is the destiny of man, but +to fill up the measure of his sufferings, and to drink his allotted +cup of bitterness? And if that same cup proved bitter to the God +of heaven, under a human form, why should I affect a foolish pride, +and call it sweet? Why should I be ashamed of shrinking at that +fearful moment, when my whole being will tremble between existence +and annihilation, when a remembrance of the past, like a flash of +lightning, will illuminate the dark gulf of futurity, when everything +shall dissolve around me, and the whole world vanish away? Is not +this the voice of a creature oppressed beyond all resource, +self-deficient, about to plunge into inevitable destruction, and +groaning deeply at its inadequate strength, "My God! my God! why +hast thou forsaken me?" And should I feel ashamed to utter the +same expression? Should I not shudder at a prospect which had its +fears, even for him who folds up the heavens like a garment? + +NOVEMBER 21. + +She does not feel, she does not know, that she is preparing a poison +which will destroy us both; and I drink deeply of the draught which +is to prove my destruction. What mean those looks of kindness with +which she often -- often? no, not often, but sometimes, regards me, +that complacency with which she hears the involuntary sentiments +which frequently escape me, and the tender pity for my sufferings +which appears in her countenance? + +Yesterday, when I took leave she seized me by the hand, and said, +"Adieu, dear Werther." Dear Werther! It was the first time she +ever called me dear: the sound sunk deep into my heart. I have +repeated it a hundred times; and last night, on going to bed, and +talking to myself of various things, I suddenly said, "Good night, +dear Werther!" and then could not but laugh at myself. + +NOVEMBER 22 + +I cannot pray, "Leave her to me !" and yet she often seems to +belong to me. I cannot pray, "Give her to me!" for she is +another's. In this way I affect mirth over my troubles; and, +if I had time, I could compose a whole litany of antitheses. + +NOVEMBER 24. + +She is sensible of my sufferings. This morning her look pierced +my very soul. I found her alone, and she was silent: she steadfastly +surveyed me. I no longer saw in her face the charms of beauty or +the fire of genius: these had disappeared. But I was affected by +an expression much more touching, a look of the deepest sympathy +and of the softest pity. Why was I afraid to throw myself at her +feet? Why did I not dare to take her in my arms, and answer her +by a thousand kisses? She had recourse to her piano for relief, +and in a low and sweet voice accompanied the music with delicious +sounds. Her lips never appeared so lovely: they seemed but just +to open, that they might imbibe the sweet tones which issued from +the instrument, and return the heavenly vibration from her lovely +mouth. Oh! who can express my sensations? I was quite overcome, +and, bending down, pronounced this vow: "Beautiful lips, which the +angels guard, never will I seek to profane your purity with a kiss." +And yet, my friend, oh, I wish -- but my heart is darkened by doubt +and indecision -- could I but taste felicity, and then die to expiate +the sin! What sin? + +NOVEMBER 26. + +Oftentimes I say to myself, "Thou alone art wretched: all other +mortals are happy, none are distressed like thee!" Then I read +a passage in an ancient poet, and I seem to understand my own +heart. I have so much to endure! Have men before me ever been +so wretched? + +NOVEMBER 30. + +I shall never be myself again! Wherever I go, some fatality occurs +to distract me. Even to-day alas -- for our destiny! alas for +human nature! + +About dinner-time I went to walk by the river-side, for I had no +appetite. Everything around seemed gloomy: a cold and damp easterly +wind blew from the mountains, and black, heavy clouds spread over +the plain. I observed at a distance a man in a tattered coat: he +was wandering among the rocks, and seemed to be looking for plants. +When I approached, he turned round at the noise; and I saw that +he had an interesting countenance in which a settled melancholy, +strongly marked by benevolence, formed the principal feature. +His long black hair was divided, and flowed over his shoulders. +As his garb betokened a person of the lower order, I thought he +would not take it ill if I inquired about his business; and I +therefore asked what he was seeking. He replied, with a deep sigh, +that he was looking for flowers, and could find none. "But it is +not the season," I observed, with a smile. "Oh, there are so many +flowers!" he answered, as he came nearer to me. "In my garden +there are roses and honeysuckles of two sorts: one sort was given +to me by my father! they grow as plentifully as weeds; I have been +looking for them these two days, and cannot find them. There are +flowers out there, yellow, blue, and red; and that centaury has a +very pretty blossom: but I can find none of them." I observed his +peculiarity, and therefore asked him, with an air of indifference, +what he intended to do with his flowers. A strange smile overspread +his countenance. Holding his finger to his mouth, he expressed a +hope that I would not betray him; and he then informed me that he +had promised to gather a nosegay for his mistress. "That is right," +said I. "Oh!" he replied, "she possesses many other things as +well: she is very rich." "And yet," I continued, "she likes your +nosegays." "Oh, she has jewels and crowns!" he exclaimed. I asked +who she was. "If the states-general would but pay me," he added, +"I should be quite another man. Alas! there was a time when I was +so happy; but that is past, and I am now--" He raised his swimming +eyes to heaven. "And you were happy once?" I observed. "Ah, +would I were so still!" was his reply. "I was then as gay and +contented as a man can be." An old woman, who was coming toward +us, now called out, "Henry, Henry! where are you? We have been +looking for you everywhere: come to dinner." "Is he your son?" +I inquired, as I went toward her. "Yes," she said: "he is my poor, +unfortunate son. The Lord has sent me a heavy affliction." I asked +whether he had been long in this state. She answered, "He has been +as calm as he is at present for about six months. I thank Heaven +that he has so far recovered: he was for one whole year quite raving, +and chained down in a madhouse. Now he injures no one, but talks +of nothing else than kings and queens. He used to be a very good, +quiet youth, and helped to maintain me; he wrote a very fine hand; +but all at once he became melancholy, was seized with a violent +fever, grew distracted, and is now as you see. If I were only to +tell you, sir--" I interrupted her by asking what period it was +in which he boasted of having been so happy. "Poor boy!" she +exclaimed, with a smile of cormpassion, "he means the time when +he was completely deranged, a time he never ceases to regret, +when he was in the madhouse, and unconscious of everything." I +was thunderstruck: I placed a piece of money in her hand, and +hastened away. + +"You were happy!" I exclaimed, as I returned quickly to the +town, "'as gay and contented as a man can be!'" God of heaven! +and is this the destiny of man? Is he only happy before he has +acquired his reason, or after he has lost it? Unfortunate being! +And yet I envy your fate: I envy the delusion to which you are a +victim. You go forth with joy to gather flowers for your princess, +-- in winter, -- and grieve when you can find none, and cannot +understand why they do not grow. But I wander forth without joy, +without hope, without design; and I return as I came. You fancy +what a man you would be if the states general paid you. Happy +mortal, who can ascribe your wretchedness to an earthly cause! +You do not know, you do not feel, that in your own distracted +heart and disordered brain dwells the source of that unhappiness +which all the potentates on earth cannot relieve. + +Let that man die unconsoled who can deride the invalid for undertaking +a journey to distant, healthful springs, where he often finds only +a heavier disease and a more painful death, or who can exult over +the despairing mind of a sinner, who, to obtain peace of conscience +and an alleviation of misery, makes a pilgrimage to the Holy +Sepulchre. Each laborious step which galls his wounded feet in +rough and untrodden paths pours a drop of balm into his troubled +soul, and the journey of many a weary day brings a nightly relief +to his anguished heart. Will you dare call this enthusiasm, ye +crowd of pompous declaimers? Enthusiasm! 0 God! thou seest my +tears. Thou hast allotted us our portion of misery: must we also +have brethren to persecute us, to deprive us of our consolation, +of our trust in thee, and in thy love and mercy? For our trust in +the virtue of the healing root, or in the strength of the vine, +what is it else than a belief in thee from whom all that surrounds +us derives its healing and restoring powers? Father, whom I know +not, -- who wert once wont to fill my soul, but who now hidest thy +face from me, -- call me back to thee; be silent no longer; thy +silence shall not delay a soul which thirsts after thee. What man, +what father, could be angry with a son for returning to him suddenly, +for falling on his neck, and exclaiming, "I am here again, my +father! forgive me if I have anticipated my journey, and returned +before the appointed time! The world is everywhere the same, -- +a scene of labour and pain, of pleasure and reward; but what does +it all avail? I am happy only where thou art, and in thy presence +am I content to suffer or enjoy." And wouldst thou, heavenly Father, +banish such a child from thy presence? + +DECEMBER 1. + +Wilhelm, the man about whom I wrote to you -- that man so enviable +in his misfortunes -- was secretary to Charlotte's father; and an +unhappy passion for her which he cherished, concealed, and at +length discovered, caused him to be dismissed from his situation. +This made him mad. Think, whilst you peruse this plain narration, +what an impression the circumstance has made upon me! But it was +related to me by Albert with as much calmness as you will probably +peruse it. + +DECEMBER 4. + +I implore your attention. It is all over with me. I can support +this state no longer. To-day I was sitting by Charlotte. She was +playing upon her piano a succession of delightful melodies, with +such intense expression! Her little sister was dressing her doll +upon my lap. The tears came into my eyes. I leaned down, and +looked intently at her wedding-ring: my tears fell -- immediately +she began to play that favourite, that divine, air which has so +often enchanted me. I felt comfort from a recollection of the +past, of those bygone days when that air was familiar to me; and +then I recalled all the sorrows and the disappointments which I +had since endured. I paced with hasty strides through the room, +my heart became convulsed with painful emotions. At length I +went up to her, and exclaimed With eagerness, "For Heaven's sake, +play that air no longer!" She stopped, and looked steadfastly at +me. She then said, with a smile which sunk deep into my heart, +"Werther, you are ill: your dearest food is distasteful to you. +But go, I entreat you, and endeavour to compose yourself." I +tore myself away. God, thou seest my torments, and wilt end them! + +DECEMBER 6. + +How her image haunts me! Waking or asleep, she fills my entire +soul! Soon as I close my eyes, here, in my brain, where all the +nerves of vision are concentrated, her dark eyes are imprinted. +Here -- I do not know how to describe it; but, if I shut my eyes, +hers are immediately before me: dark as an abyss they open upon +me, and absorb my senses. + +And what is man -- that boasted demigod? Do not his powers fail +when he most requires their use? And whether he soar in joy, or +sink in sorrow, is not his career in both inevitably arrested? +And, whilst he fondly dreams that he is grasping at infinity, +does he not feel compelled to return to a consciousness of his +cold, monotonous existence? + +THE EDITOR TO THE READER. + +It is a matter of extreme regret that we want original evidence +of the last remarkable days of our friend; and we are, therefore, +obliged to interrupt the progress of his correspondence, and to +supply the deficiency by a connected narration. + +I have felt it my duty to collect accurate information from the +mouths of persons well acquainted with his history. The story +is simple; and all the accounts agree, except in some unimportant +particulars. It is true, that, with respect to the characters of +the persons spoken of, opinions and judgments vary. + +We have only, then, to relate conscientiously the facts which our +diligent labour has enabled us to collect, to give the letters +of the deceased, and to pay particular attention to the slightest +fragment from his pen, more especially as it is so difficult to +discover the real and correct motives of men who are not of the +common order. + +Sorrow and discontent had taken deep root in Werther's soul, and +gradually imparted their character to his whole being. The harmony +of his mind became completely disturbed; a perpetual excitement +and mental irritation, which weakened his natural powers, produced +the saddest etfects upon him, and rendered him at length the victim +of an exhaustion against which he struggled with still more painful +efforts than he had displayed, even in contending with his other +misfortunes. His mental anxiety weakened his various good qualities; +and he was soon converted into a gloomy companion, always unhappy +and unjust in his ideas, the more wretched he became. This was, +at least, the opinion of Albert's friends. They assert, moreover, +that the character of Albert himself had undergone no change in +the meantime: he was still the same being whom Werther had loved, +honoured, and respected from the commencement. His love for +Charlotte was unbounded: he was proud of her, and desired that +she should be recognised by every one as the noblest of created +beings. Was he, however, to blame for wishing to avert from her +every appearance of suspicion? or for his unwillingness to share +his rich prize with another, even for a moment, and in the most +innocent manner? It is asserted that Albert frequently retired +from his wife's apartment during Werther's visits; but this did +not arise from hatred or aversion to his friend, but only from a +feeling that his presence was oppressive to Werther. + +Charlotte's father, who was confined to the house by indisposition, +was accustomed to send his carriage for her, that she might make +excursions in the neighbourhood. One day the weather had been +unusually severe, and the whole country was covered with snow. + +Werther went for Charlotte the following morning, in order that, +if Albert were absent, he might conduct her home. + +The beautiful weather produced but little impression on his troubled +spirit. A heavy weight lay upon his soul, deep melancholy had +taken possession of him, and his mind knew no change save from one +painful thought to another. + +As he now never enjoyed internal peace, the condition of his fellow +creatures was to him a perpetual source of trouble and distress. +He believed he had disturbed the happiness of Albert and his wife; +and, whilst he censured himself strongly for this, he began to +entertain a secret dislike to Albert. + +His thoughts were occasionally directed to this point. "Yes," he +would repeat to himself, with ill-concealed dissatisfaction, "yes, +this is, after all, the extent of that confiding, dear, tender, +and sympathetic love, that calm and eternal fidelity! What do I +behold but satiety and indifference? Does not every frivolous +engagement attract him more than his charming and lovely wife? +Does he know how to prize his happiness? Can he value her as she +deserves? He possesses her, it is true, I know that, as I know +much more, and I have become accustomed to the thought that he +will drive me mad, or, perhaps, murder me. Is his friendship +toward me unimpaired? Does he not view my attachment to Charlotte +as an infringement upon his rights, and consider my attention to +her as a silent rebuke to himself? I know, and indeed feel, that +he dislikes me, that he wishes for my absence, that my presence +is hateful to him." + +He would often pause when on his way to visit Charlotte, stand +still, as though in doubt, and seem desirous of returning, but +would nevertheless proceed; and, engaged in such thoughts and +soliloquies as we have described, he finally reached the hunting-lodge, +with a sort of involuntary consent. + +Upon one occasion he entered the house; and, inquiring for +Charlotte, he observed that the inmates were in a state of +unusual confusion. The eldest boy informed him that a dreadful +misfortune had occurred at Walheim, -- that a peasant had been +murdered! But this made little impression upon him. Entering +the apartment, he found Charlotte engaged reasoning with her father, +who, in spite of his infirmity, insisted on going to the scene of +the crime, in order to institute an inquiry. The criminal was +unknown; the victim had been found dead at his own door that +morning. Suspicions were excited: the murdered man had been in +the service of a widow, and the person who had previously filled +the situation had been dismissed from her employment. + +As soon as Werther heard this, he exclaimed with great excitement, +"Is it possible! I must go to the spot -- I cannot delay a moment!" +He hastened to Walheim. Every incident returned vividly to his +remembrance; and he entertained not the slightest doubt that that +man was the murderer to whom he had so often spoken, and for whom +he entertained so much regard. His way took him past the well-known +lime trees, to the house where the body had been carried; and his +feelings were greatly excited at the sight of the fondly recollected +spot. That threshold where the neighbours' children had so often +played together was stained with blood; love and attachment, the +noblest feelings of human nature, had been converted into violence +and murder. The huge trees stood there leafless and covered with +hoarfrost; the beautiful hedgerows which surrounded the old +churchyard wall were withered; and the gravestones, half covered +with snow, were visible through the openings. + +As he approached the inn, in front of which the whole village was +assembled, screams were suddenly heard. A troop of armed peasants +was seen approaching, and every one exclaimed that the criminal +had been apprehended. Werther looked, and was not long in doubt. +The prisoner was no other than the servant, who had been formerly +so attached to the widow, and whom he had met prowling about, with +that suppressed anger and ill-concealed despair, which we have +before described. + +"What have you done, unfortunate man?" inquired Werther, as he +advanced toward the prisoner. The latter turned his eyes upon him +in silence, and then replied with perfect composure; "No one will +now marry her, and she will marry no one." The prisoner was taken +into the inn, and Werther left the place. The mind of Werther was +fearfully excited by this shocking occurrence. He ceased, however, +to be oppressed by his usual feeling of melancholy, moroseness, +and indifference to everything that passed around him. He entertained +a strong degree of pity for the prisoner, and was seized with an +indescribable anxiety to save him from his impending fate. He +considered him so unfortunate, he deemed his crime so excusable, +and thought his own condition so nearly similar, that he felt +convinced he could make every one else view the matter in the light +in which he saw it himself. He now became anxious to undertake +his defence, and commenced composing an eloquent speech for the +occasion; and, on his way to the hunting-lodge, he could not refrain +from speaking aloud the statement which he resolved to make to the +judge. + +Upon his arrival, he found Albert had been before him: and he was +a little perplexed by this meeting; but he soon recovered himself, +and expressed his opinion with much warmth to the judge. The +latter shook, his head doubtingly; and although Werther urged his +case with the utmost zeal, feeling, and determination in defence +of his client, yet, as we may easily suppose, the judge was not +much influenced by his appeal. On the contrary, he interrupted +him in his address, reasoned with him seriously, and even administered +a rebuke to him for becoming the advocate of a murderer. He +demonstrated, that, according to this precedent, every law might +be violated, and the public security utterly destroyed. He added, +moreover, that in such a case he could himself do nothing, +without incurring the greatest responsibility; that everything +must follow in the usual course, and pursue the ordinary channel. + +Werther, however, did not abandon his enterprise, and even besought +the judge to connive at the flight of the prisoner. But this +proposal was peremptorily rejected. Albert, who had taken some +part in the discussion, coincided in opinion with the judge. At +this Werther became enraged, and took his leave in great anger, +after the judge had more than once assured him that the prisoner +could not be saved. + +The excess of his grief at this assurance may be inferred from a +note we have found amongst his papers, and which was doubtless +written upon this very occasion. + +"You cannot be saved, unfortunate man! I see clearly that we +cannot be saved!" + +Werther was highly incensed at the observations which Albert had +made to the judge in this matter of the prisoner. He thought he +could detect therein a little bitterness toward himself personally; +and although, upon reflection, it could not escape his sound +judgment that their view of the matter was correct, he felt the +greatest possible reluctance to make such an admission. + +A memorandum of Werther's upon this point, expressive of his general +feelings toward Albert, has been found amongst his papers. + +"What is the use of my continually repeating that he is a good and +estimable man? He is an inward torment to me, and I am incapable +of being just toward him." + +One fine evening in winter, when the weather seemed inclined to +thaw, Charlotte and Albert were returning home together. The +former looked from time to time about her, as if she missed Werther's +company. Albert began to speak of him, and censured him for his +prejudices. He alluded to his unfortunate attachment, and wished +it were possible to discontinue his acquaintance. "I desire it on +our own account," he added; "and I request you will compel him to +alter his deportment toward you, and to visit you less frequently. +The world is censorious, and I know that here and there we are +spoken of." Charlotte made no reply, and Albert seemed to feel +her silence. At least, from that time he never again spoke of +Werther; and, when she introduced the subject, he allowed the +conversation to die away, or else he directed the discourse into +another channel. + +The vain attempt Werther had made to save the unhappy murderer was +the last feeble glimmering of a flame about to be extinguished. +He sank almost immediately afterward into a state of gloom and +inactivity, until he was at length brought to perfect distraction +by learning that he was to be summoned as a witness against the +prisoner, who asserted his complete innocence. + +His mind now became oppressed by the recollection of every misfortune +of his past life. The mortification he had suffered at the +ambassador's, and his subsequent troubles, were revived in his +memory. He became utterly inactive. Destitute of energy, he was +cut off from every pursuit and occupation which compose the business +of common life; and he became a victim to his own susceptibility, +and to his restless passion for the most amiable and beloved of +women, whose peace he destroyed. In this unvarying monotony of +existence his days were consumed; and his powers became exhausted +without aim or design, until they brought him to a sorrowful end. + +A few letters which he left behind, and which we here subjoin, +afford the best proofs of his anxiety of mind and of the depth +of his passion, as well as of his doubts and struggles, and of +his weariness of life. + +DECEMBER 12. + +Dear Wilhelm, I am reduced to the condition of those unfortunate +wretches who believe they are pursued by an evil spirit. Sometimes +I am oppressed, not by apprehension or fear, but by an inexpressible +internal sensation, which weighs upon my heart, and impedes my +breath! Then I wander forth at night, even in this tempestuous +season, and feel pleasure in surveying the dreadful scenes around +me. + +Yesterday evening I went forth. A rapid thaw had suddenly set +in: I had been informed that the river had risen, that the brooks +had all overflowed their banks, and that the whole vale of Walheim +was under water! Upon the stroke of twelve I hastened forth. I +beheld a fearful sight. The foaming torrents rolled from the +mountains in the moonlight, -- fields and meadows, trees and +hedges, were confounded together; and the entire valley was +converted into a deep lake, which was agitated by the roaring +wind! And when the moon shone forth, and tinged the black clouds +with silver, and the impetuous torrent at my feet foamed and resounded +with awful and grand impetuosity, I was overcome by a mingled sensation +of apprehension and delight. With extended arms I looked down into +the yawning abyss, and cried, "Plunge!'" For a moment my senses +forsook me, in the intense delight of ending my sorrows and my +sufferings by a plunge into that gulf! And then I felt as if I +were rooted to the earth, and incapable of seeking an end to my +woes! But my hour is not yet come: I feel it is not. O Wilhelm, +how willingly could I abandon my existence to ride the whirlwind, +or to embrace the torrent! and then might not rapture perchance be +the portion of this liberated soul? + +I turned my sorrowful eyes toward a favourite spot, where I was +accustomed to sit with Charlotte beneath a willow after a fatiguing +walk. Alas! it was covered with water, and with difficulty I found +even the meadow. And the fields around the hunting-lodge, thought +I. Has our dear bower been destroyed by this unpitying storm? +And a beam of past happiness streamed upon me, as the mind of a +captive is illumined by dreams of flocks and herds and bygone joys +of home! But I am free from blame. I have courage to die! Perhaps +I have, -- but I still sit here, like a wretched pauper, who collects +fagots, and begs her bread from door to door, that she may prolong +for a few days a miserable existence which she is unwilling to resign. + +DECEMBER 15. + +What is the matter with me, dear Wilhelm? I am afraid of myself! +Is not my love for her of the purest, most holy, and most brotherly +nature? Has my soul ever been sullied by a single sensual desire? +but I will make no protestations. And now, ye nightly visions, +how truly have those mortals understood you, who ascribe your +various contradictory effects to some invincible power! This night +I tremble at the avowal -- I held her in my arms, locked in a close +embrace: I pressed her to my bosom, and covered with countless +kisses those dear lips which murmured in reply soft protestations +of love. My sight became confused by the delicious intoxication +of her eyes. Heavens! is it sinful to revel again in such happiness, +to recall once more those rapturous moments with intense delight? +Charlotte! Charlotte! I am lost! My senses are bewildered, my +recollection is confused, mine eyes are bathed in tears -- I am +ill; and yet I am well -- I wish for nothing -- I have no desires +-- it were better I were gone. + +Under the circumstances narrated above, a determination to quit +this world had now taken fixed possession of Werther's soul. Since +Charlotte's return, this thought had been the final object of all +his hopes and wishes; but he had resolved that such a step should +not be taken with precipitation, but with calmness and tranquillity, +and with the most perfect deliberation. + +His troubles and internal struggles may be understood from the +following fragment, which was found, without any date, amongst +his papers, and appears to have formed the beginning of a letter +to Wilhelm. + +"Her presence, her fate, her sympathy for me, have power still to +extract tears from my withered brain. + +"One lifts up the curtain, and passes to the other side, -- that +is all! And why all these doubts and delays? Because we know not +what is behind -- because there is no returning -- and because our +mind infers that all is darkness and confusion, where we have +nothing but uncertainty." + +His appearance at length became quite altered by the effect of +his melancholy thoughts; and his resolution was now finally and +irrevocably taken, of which the following ambiguous letter, which +he addressed to his friend, may appear to afford some proof. + +DECEMBER 2O. + +I am grateful to your love, Wilhelm, for having repeated your +advice so seasonably. Yes, you are right: it is undoubtedly +better that I should depart. But I do not entirely approve your +scheme of returning at once to your neighbourhood; at least, I +should Iike to make a little excursion on the way, particularly +as we may now expect a continued frost, and consequently good +roads. I am much pleased with your intention of coming to fetch +me; only delay your journey for a fortnight, and wait for another +letter from me. One should gather nothing before it is ripe, and +a fortnight sooner or later makes a great difference. Entreat my +mother to pray for her son, and tell her I beg her pardon for all +the unhappiness I have occasioned her. It has ever been my fate +to give pain to those whose happiness I should have promoted. +Adieu, my dearest friend. May every blessing of Heaven attend +you! Farewell. + +We find it difficult to express the emotions with which Charlotte's +soul was agitated during the whole of this time, whether in relation +to her husband or to her unfortunate friend; although we are enabled, +by our knowledge of her character, to understand their nature. + +It is certain that she had formed a determination, by every means +in her power to keep Werther at a distance; and, if she hesitated +in her decision, it was from a sincere feeling of friendly pity, +knowing how much it would cost him, indeed, that he would find it +almost impossible to comply with her wishes. But various causes +now urged her to be firm. Her hushand preserved a strict silence +about the whole matter; and she never made it a subject of +conversation, feeling bound to prove to him by her conduct that +her sentiments agreed with his. + +The same day, which was the Sunday before Christmas, after Werther +had written the last-mentioned letter to his friend, he came in +the evening to Charlotte's house, and found her alone. She was +busy preparing some little gifts for her brothers and sisters, +which were to be distributed to them on Christmas Day. He began +talking of the delight of the children, and of that age when the +sudden appearance of the Christmas-tree, decorated with fruit and +sweetmeats, and lighted up with wax candles, causes such transports +of joy. "You shall have a gift too, if you behave well," said +Charlotte, hiding her embarrassment under sweet smile. "And what +do you call behaving well? What should I do, what can I do, my +dear Charlotte?" said he. "Thursday night," she answered, "is +Christmas Eve. The children are all to be here, and my father too: +there is a present for each; do you come likewise, but do not come +before that time." Werther started. "I desire you will not: it must +be so," she continued. "I ask it of you as a favour, for my own +peace and tranquillity. We cannot go on in this manner any longer." +He turned away his face walked hastily up and down the room, muttering +indistinctly, "We cannot go on in this manner any longer!" Charlotte, +seeing the violent agitation into which these words had thrown him, +endeavoured to divert his thoughts by different questions, but in vain. +"No, Charlotte!" he exclaimed; "I will never see you any more!" +"And why so?" she answered. "We may -- we must see each other +again; only let it be with more discretion. Oh! why were you born +with that excessive, that ungovernable passion for everything that +is dear to you?" Then, taking his hand, she said, "I entreat of +you to be more calm: your talents, your understanding, your genius, +will furnish you with a thousand resources. Be a man, and conquer +an unhappy attachment toward a creature who can do nothing but pity +you." He bit his lips, and looked at her with a gloomy countenance. +She continued to hold his hand. "Grant me but a moment's patience, +Werther," she said. "Do you not see that you are deceiving yourself, +that you are seeking your own destruction? Why must you love me, +me only, who belong to another? I fear, I much fear, that it is +only the impossibility of possessing me which makes your desire for +me so strong." He drew back his hand, whilst he surveyed her with +a wild and angry look. "'Tis well!" he exclaimed, "'tis very well! +Did not Albert furnish you with this reflection? It is profound, +a very profound remark." "A reflection that any one might easily +make," she answered; "and is there not a woman in the whole world +who is at liberty, and has the power to make you happy? Conquer +yourself: look for such a being, and believe me when I say that you +will certainly find her. I have long felt for you, and for us all: +you have confined yourself too long within the limits of too narrow +a circle. Conquer yourself; make an effort: a short journey will +be of service to you. Seek and find an object worthy of your love; +then return hither, and let us enjoy together all the happiness of +the most perfect friendship." + +"This speech," replied Werther with a cold smile, "this speech +should be printed, for the benefit of all teachers. My dear +Charlotte, allow me but a short time longer, and all will be well." +"But however, Werther," she added, "do not come again before +Christmas." He was about to make some answer, when Albert came in. +They saluted each other coldly, and with mutual embarrassment paced +up and down the room. Werther made some common remarks; Albert +did the same, and their conversation soon dropped. Albert asked +his wife about some household matters; and, finding that his +commissions were not executed, he used some expressions which, to +Werther's ear, savoured of extreme harshness. He wished to go, +but had not power to move; and in this situation he remained till +eight o'clock, his uneasiness and discontent continually increasing. +At length the cloth was laid for supper, and he took up his hat +and stick. Albert invited him to remain; but Werther, fancying +that he was merely paying a formal compliment, thanked him coldly, +amd left the house. + +Werther returned home, took the candle from his servant, and retired +to his room alone. He talked for some time with great earnestness +to himself, wept aloud, walked in a state of great excitement +through his chamber; till at length, without undressing, he threw +himself on the bed, where he was found by his servant at eleven +o'clock, when the latter ventured to enter the room, and take off +his boots. Werther did not prevent him, but forbade him to come in +the morning till he should ring. + +On Monday morning, the 21st of December, he wrote to Charlotte the +following letter, which was found, sealed, on his bureau after his +death, and was given to her. I shall insert it in fragments; as +it appears, from several circumstances, to have been written in +that manner. + +"It is all over, Charlotte: I am resolved to die! I make this +declaration deliberately and coolly, without any romantic passion, +on this morning of the day when I am to see you for the last time. +At the moment you read these lines, O best of women, the cold grave +will hold the inanimate remains of that restless and unhappy being +who, in the last moments of his existence, knew no pleasure so +great as that of conversing with you! I have passed a dreadful +night or rather, let me say, a propitious one; for it has given +me resolution, it has fixed my purpose. I am resolved to die. +When I tore myself from you yesterday, my senses were in tumult +and disorder; my heart was oppressed, hope and pleasure had fled +from me for ever, and a petrifying cold had seized my wretched +being. I could scarcely reach my room. I threw myself on my knees; +and Heaven, for the last time, granted me the consolation of +shedding tears. A thousand ideas, a thousand schemes, arose within +my soul; till at length one last, fixed, final thought took +possession of my heart. It was to die. I lay down to rest; and +in the morning, in the quiet hour of awakening, the same determination +was upon me. To die! It is not despair: it is conviction that I +have filled up the measure of my sufferings, that I have reached +my appointed term, and must sacrifice myself for thee. Yes, +Charlotte, why should I not avow it? One of us three must die: +it shall be Werther. O beloved Charlotte! this heart, excited by +rage and fury, has often conceived the horrid idea of murdering +your husband -- you -- myself! The lot is cast at length. And +in the bright, quiet evenings of summer, when you sometimes wander +toward the mountains, let your thoughts then turn to me: recollect +how often you have watched me coming to meet you from the valley; +then bend your eyes upon the churchyard which contains my grave, +and, by the light of the setting sun, mark how the evening breeze +waves the tall grass which grows above my tomb. I was calm when +I began this letter, but the recollection of these scenes makes +me weep like a child." + +About ten in the morning, Werther called his servant, and, whilst +he was dressing, told him that in a few days he intended to set +out upon a journey, and bade him therefore lay his clothes in +order, and prepare them for packing up, call in all his accounts, +fetch home the books he had lent, and give two months' pay to the +poor dependants who were accustomed to receive from him a weekly +allowance. + +He breakfasted in his room, and then mounted his horse, and went +to visit the steward, who, however, was not at home. He walked +pensively in the garden, and seemed anxious to renew all the ideas +that were most painful to him. + +The children did not suffer him to remain alone long. They followed +him, skipping and dancing before him, and told him, that after +to-morrow and tomorrow and one day more, they were to receive their +Christmas gift from Charlotte; and they then recounted all the +wonders of which they had formed ideas in their child imaginations. +"Tomorrow and tomorrow," said he, "and one day more!" And he +kissed them tenderly. He was going; but the younger boy stopped +him, to whisper something in his ear. He told him that his elder +brothers had written splendid New-Year's wishes so large! one for +papa, and another for Albert and Charlotte, and one for Werther; +and they were to be presented early in the morning, on New Year's +Day. This quite overcame him. He made each of the children a +present, mounted his horse, left his compliments for papa and +mamma, and, with tears in his eyes, rode away from the place. + +He returned home about five o'clock, ordered his servant to keep +up his fire, desired him to pack his books and linen at the bottom +of the trunk, and to place his coats at the top. He then appears +to have made the following addition to the letter addressed to +Charlotte: + +"You do not expect me. You think I will obey you, and not visit +you again till Christmas Eve. O Charlotte, today or never! On +Christmas Eve you will hold this paper in your hand; you will +tremble, and moisten it with your tears. I will -- I must! Oh, how +happy I feel to be determined!" + +In the meantime, Charlotte was in a pitiable state of mind. After +her last conversation with Werther, she found how painful to herself +it would be to decline his visits, and knew how severely he would +suffer from their separation. + +She had, in conversation with Albert, mentioned casually that Werther +would not return before Christmas Eve; and soon afterward Albert +went on horseback to see a person in the neighbourhood, with whom +he had to transact some business which would detain him all night. + +Charlotte was sitting alone. None of her family were near, and +she gave herself up to the reflections that silently took possession +of her mind. She was for ever united to a husband whose love and +fidelity she had proved, to whom she was heartily devoted, and who +seemed to be a special gift from Heaven to ensure her happiness. +On the other hand, Werther had become dear to her. There was a +cordial unanimity of sentiment between them from the very first +hour of their acquaintance, and their long association and repeated +interviews had made an indelible impression upon her heart. She +had been accustomed to communicate to him every thought and feeling +which interested her, and his absence threatened to open a void +in her existence which it might be impossible to fill. How heartily +she wished that she might change him into her brother, -- that she +could induce him to marry one of her own friends, or could reestablish +his intimacy with Albert. + +She passed all her intimate friends in review before her mind, but +found something objectionable in each, and could decide upon none +to whom she would consent to give him. + +Amid all these considerations she felt deeply but indistinctly +that her own real but unexpressed wish was to retain him for herself, +and her pure and amiable heart felt from this thought a sense of +oppression which seemed to forbid a prospect of happiness. She +was wretched: a dark cloud obscured her mental vision. + +It was now half-past six o'clock, and she heard Werther's step on +the stairs. She at once recognised his voice, as he inquired if +she were at home. Her heart beat audibly -- we could almost say +for the first time -- at his arrival. It was too late to deny +herself; and, as he entered, she exclaimed, with a sort of ill +concealed confusion, "You have not kept your word!" "I promised +nothing," he answered. "But you should have complied, at least +for my sake," she continued. " I implore you, for both our sakes." + +She scarcely knew what she said or did; and sent for some friends, +who, by their presence, might prevent her being left alone with +Werther. He put down some books he had brought with him, then +made inquiries about some others, until she began to hope that her +friends might arrive shortly, entertaining at the same time a +desire that they might stay away. + +At one moment she felt anxious that the servant should remain in +the adjoining room, then she changed her mind. Werther, meanwhile, +walked impatiently up and down. She went to the piano, and +determined not to retire. She then collected her thoughts, and +sat down quietly at Werther's side, who had taken his usual place +on the sofa. + +"Have you brought nothing to read?" she inquired. He had nothing. +"There in my drawer," she continued, "you will find your own +translation of some of the songs of Ossian. I have not yet read +them, as I have still hoped to hear you recite them; but, for some +time past, I have not been able to accomplish such a wish." He +smiled, and went for the manuscript, which he took with a shudder. +He sat down; and, with eyes full of tears, he began to read. + +"Star of descending night! fair is thy light in the west! thou +liftest thy unshorn head from thy cloud; thy steps are stately on +thy hill. What dost thou behold in the plain? The stormy winds +are laid. The murmur of the torrent comes from afar. Roaring +waves climb the distant rock. The flies of evening are on their +feeble wings: the hum of their course is on the field. What dost +thou behold, fair light? But thou dost smile and depart. The +waves come with joy around thee: they bathe thy lovely hair. +Farewell, thou silent beam! Let the light of Ossian's soul arise! + +"And it does arise in its strength! I behold my departed friends. +Their gathering is on Lora, as in the days of other years. Fingal +comes like a watery column of mist! his heroes are around: and +see the bards of song, gray-haired Ullin! stately Ryno! Alpin with +the tuneful voice: the soft complaint of Minona! How are ye changed, +my friends, since the days of Selma's feast! when we contended, +like gales of spring as they fly along the hill, and bend by turns +the feebly whistling grass. + +"Minona came forth in her beauty, with downcast look and tearful +eye. Her hair was flying slowly with the blast that rushed +unfrequent from the hill. The souls of the heroes were sad when +she raised the tuneful voice. Oft had they seen the grave of +Salgar, the dark dwelling of white-bosomed Colma. Colma left alone +on the hill with all her voice of song! Salgar promised to come! +but the night descended around. Hear the voice of Colma, when she +sat alone on the hill! + +"Colma. It is night: I am alone, forlorn on the hill of storms. +The wind is heard on the mountain. The torrent is howling down +the rock. No hut receives me from the rain: forlorn on the hill +of winds! + +"Rise moon! from behind thy clouds. Stars of the night, arise! +Lead me, some light, to the place where my love rests from the +chase alone! His bow near him unstrung, his dogs panting around +him! But here I must sit alone by the rock of the mossy stream. +The stream and the wind roar aloud. I hear not the voice of my +love! Why delays my Salgar; why the chief of the hill his promise? +Here is the rock and here the tree! here is the roaring stream! +Thou didst promise with night to be here. Ah! whither is my Salgar +gone? With thee I would fly from my father, with thee from my +brother of pride. Our race have long been foes: we are not foes, +O Salgar! + +"Cease a little while, O wind! stream, be thou silent awhile! let +my voice be heard around! let my wanderer hear me! Salgar! it is +Colma who calls. Here is the tree and the rock. Salgar, my love, +I am here! Why delayest thou thy coming? Lo! the calm moon comes +forth. The flood is bright in the vale. The rocks are gray on +the steep. I see him not on the brow. His dogs come not before +him with tidings of his near approach. Here I must sit alone! + +"Who lie on the heath beside me? Are they my love and my brother? +Speak to me, O my friends! To Colma they give no reply. Speak +to me: I am alone! My soul is tormented with fears. Ah, they are +dead! Their swords are red from the fight. O my brother! my +brother! why hast thou slain my Salgar! Why, O Salgar, hast thou +slain my brother! Dear were ye both to me! what shall I say in +your praise? Thou wert fair on the hill among thousands! he was +terrible in fight! Speak to me! hear my voice! hear me, sons of +my love! They are silent! silent for ever! Cold, cold, are their +breasts of clay! Oh, from the rock on the hill, from the top of +the windy steep, speak, ye ghosts of the dead! Speak, I will not +be afraid! Whither are ye gone to rest? In what cave of the hill +shall I find the departed? No feeble voice is on the gale: no +answer half drowned in the storm! + +"I sit in my grief: I wait for morning in my tears! Rear the tomb, +ye friends of the dead. Close it not till Colma come. My life +flies away like a dream. Why should I stay behind? Here shall I +rest with my friends, by the stream of the sounding rock. When +night comes on the hill when the loud winds arise my ghost shall +stand in the blast, and mourn the death of my friends. The hunter +shall hear from his booth; he shall fear, but love my voice! For +sweet shall my voice be for my friends: pleasant were her friends +to Colma. + +"Such was thy song, Minona, softly blushing daughter of Torman. +Our tears descended for Colma, and our souls were sad! Ullin came +with his harp; he gave the song of Alpin. The voice of Alpin was +pleasant, the soul of Ryno was a beam of fire! But they had rested +in the narrow house: their voice had ceased in Selma! Ullin had +returned one day from the chase before the heroes fell. He heard +their strife on the hill: their song was soft, but sad! They +mourned the fall of Morar, first of mortal men! His soul was like +the soul of Fingal: his sword like the sword of Oscar. But he +fell, and his father mourned: his sister's eyes were full of tears. +Minona's eyes were full of tears, the sister of car-borne Morar. +She retired from the song of Ullin, like the moon in the west, +when she foresees the shower, and hides her fair head in a cloud. +I touched the harp with Ullin: the song of morning rose! + +"Ryno. The wind and the rain are past, calm is the noon of day. +The clouds are divided in heaven. Over the green hills flies the +inconstant sun. Red through the stony vale comes down the stream +of the hill. Sweet are thy murmurs, O stream! but more sweet is +the voice I hear. It is the voice of Alpin, the son of song, +mourning for the dead! Bent is his head of age: red his tearful +eye. Alpin, thou son of song, why alone on the silent hill? why +complainest thou, as a blast in the wood as a wave on the lonely +shore? + +"Alpin. My tears, O Ryno! are for the dead my voice for those +that have passed away. Tall thou art on the hill; fair among the +sons of the vale. But thou shalt fall like Morar: the mourner +shall sit on thy tomb. The hills shall know thee no more: thy bow +shall lie in thy hall unstrung! + +"Thou wert swift, O Morar! as a roe on the desert: terrible as a +meteor of fire. Thy wrath was as the storm. Thy sword in battle +as lightning in the field. Thy voice was as a stream after rain, +like thunder on distant hills. Many fell by thy arm: they were +consumed in the flames of thy wrath. But when thou didst return +from war, how peaceful was thy brow. Thy face was like the sun +after rain: like the moon in the silence of night: calm as the +breast of the lake when the loud wind is laid. + +"Narrow is thy dwelling now! dark the place of thine abode! With +three steps I compass thy grave, O thou who wast so great before! +Four stones, with their heads of moss, are the only memorial of +thee. A tree with scarce a leaf, long grass which whistles in the +wind, mark to the hunter's eye the grave of the mighty Morar. +Morar! thou art low indeed. Thou hast no mother to mourn thee, +no maid with her tears of love. Dead is she that brought thee +forth. Fallen is the daughter of Morglan. + +"Who on his staff is this? Who is this whose head is white with +age, whose eyes are red with tears, who quakes at every step? It +is thy father, O Morar! the father of no son but thee. He heard +of thy fame in war, he heard of foes dispersed. He heard of Morar's +renown, why did he not hear of his wound? Weep, thou father of +Morar! Weep, but thy son heareth thee not. Deep is the sleep of +the dead, low their pillow of dust. No more shall he hear thy +voice, no more awake at thy call. When shall it be morn in the +grave, to bid the slumberer awake? Farewell, thou bravest of men! +thou conqueror in the field! but the field shall see thee no more, +nor the dark wood be lightened with the splendour of thy steel. +Thou has left no son. The song shall preserve thy name. Future +times shall hear of thee they shall hear of the fallen Morar! + +"The grief of all arose, but most the bursting sigh of Armin. He +remembers the death of his son, who fell in the days of his youth. +Carmor was near the hero, the chief of the echoing Galmal. Why +burst the sigh of Armin? he said. Is there a cause to mourn? The +song comes with its music to melt and please the soul. It is like +soft mist that, rising from a lake, pours on the silent vale; +the green flowers are filled with dew, but the sun returns in his +strength, and the mist is gone. Why art thou sad, O Armin, chief +of sea-surrounded Gorma? + +"Sad I am! nor small is my cause of woe! Carmor, thou hast lost +no son; thou hast lost no daughter of beauty. Colgar the valiant +lives, and Annira, fairest maid. The boughs of thy house ascend, +O Carmor! but Armin is the last of his race. Dark is thy bed, O +Daura! deep thy sleep in the tomb! When shalt thou wake with thy +songs? with all thy voice of music? + +"Arise, winds of autumn, arise: blow along the heath. Streams of +the mountains, roar; roar, tempests in the groves of my oaks! Walk +through broken clouds, O moon! show thy pale face at intervals; +bring to my mind the night when all my children fell, when Arindal +the mighty fell -- when Daura the lovely failed. Daura, my daughter, +thou wert fair, fair as the moon on Fura, white as the driven snow, +sweet as the breathing gale. Arindal, thy bow was strong, thy spear +was swift on the field, thy look was like mist on the wave, thy +shield a red cloud in a storm! Armar, renowned in war, came and +sought Daura's love. He was not long refused: fair was the hope +of their friends. + +"Erath, son of Odgal, repined: his brother had been slain by Armar. +He came disguised like a son of the sea: fair was his cliff on the +wave, white his locks of age, calm his serious brow. Fairest of +women, he said, lovely daughter of Armin! a rock not distant in +the sea bears a tree on its side; red shines the fruit afar. There +Armar waits for Daura. I come to carry his love! she went she +called on Armar. Nought answered, but the son of the rock. Armar, +my love, my love! why tormentest thou me with fear? Hear, son of +Arnart, hear! it is Daura who calleth thee. Erath, the traitor, +fled laughing to the land. She lifted up her voice-- she called +for her brother and her father. Arindal! Armin! none to relieve +you, Daura. + +"Her voice came over the sea. Arindal, my son, descended from the +hill, rough in the spoils of the chase. His arrows rattled by his +side; his bow was in his hand, five dark-gray dogs attended his +steps. He saw fierce Erath on the shore; he seized and bound him +to an oak. Thick wind the thongs of the hide around his limbs; +he loads the winds with his groans. Arindal ascends the deep in +his boat to bring Daura to land. Armar came in his wrath, and +let fly the gray-feathered shaft. It sung, it sunk in thy heart, +O Arindal, my son! for Erath the traitor thou diest. The oar is +stopped at once: he panted on the rock, and expired. What is thy +grief, O Daura, when round thy feet is poured thy brother's blood. +The boat is broken in twain. Armar plunges into the sea to rescue +his Daura, or die. Sudden a blast from a hill came over the waves; +he sank, and he rose no more. + +"Alone, on the sea-beat rock, my daughter was heard to complain; +frequent and loud were her cries. What could her father do? All +night I stood on the shore: I saw her by the faint beam of the moon. +All night I heard her cries. Loud was the wind; the rain beat hard +on the hill. Before morning appeared, her voice was weak; it died +away like the evening breeze among the grass of the rocks. Spent +with grief, she expired, and left thee, Armin, alone. Gone is my +strength in war, fallen my pride among women. When the storms +aloft arise, when the north lifts the wave on high, I sit by the +sounding shore, and look on the fatal rock. + +"Often by the setting moon I see the ghosts of my children; half +viewless they walk in mournful conference together." + +A torrent of tears which streamed from Charlotte's eyes and gave +relief to her bursting heart, stopped Werther's recitation. He +threw down the book, seized her hand, and wept bitterly. Charlotte +leaned upon her hand, and buried her face in her handkerchief: +the agitation of both was excessive. They felt that their own +fate was pictured in the misfortunes of Ossian's heroes, they +felt this together, and their tears redoubled. Werther supported +his forehead on Charlotte's arm: she trembled, she wished to be +gone; but sorrow and sympathy lay like a leaden weight upon her +soul. She recovered herself shortly, and begged Werther, with +broken sobs, to leave her, implored him with the utmost earnestness +to comply with her request. He trembled; his heart was ready to +burst: then, taking up the book again, he recommenced reading, in +a voice broken by sobs. + +"Why dost thou waken me, O spring? Thy voice woos me, exclaiming, +I refresh thee with heavenly dews; but the time of my decay is +approaching, the storm is nigh that shall whither my leaves. +Tomorrow the traveller shall come, he shall come, who beheld me +in beauty: his eye shall seek me in the field around, but he shall +not find me." + +The whole force of these words fell upon the unfortunate Werther. +Full of despair, he threw himself at Charlotte's feet, seized her +hands, and pressed them to his eyes and to his forehead. An +apprehension of his fatal project now struck her for the first +time. Her senses were bewildered: she held his hands, pressed +them to her bosom; and, leaning toward him with emotions of the +tenderest pity, her warm cheek touched his. They lost sight of +everything. The world disappeared from their eyes. He clasped +her in his arms, strained her to his bosom, and covered her trembling +lips with passionate kisses. "Werther!" she cried with a faint +voice, turning herself away; "Werther!" and, with a feeble hand, +she pushed him from her. At length, with the firm voice of virtue, +she exclaimed, "Werther!" He resisted not, but, tearing himself +from her arms, fell on his knees before her. Charlotte rose, and, +with disordered grief, in mingled tones of love and resentment, +she exclaimed, "It is the last time, Werther! You shall never see +me any more!" Then, casting one last, tender look upon her +unfortunate lover, she rushed into the adjoining room, and locked +the door. Werther held out his arms, but did not dare to detain +her. He continued on the ground, with his head resting on the +sofa, for half an hour, till he heard a noise which brought him +to his senses. The servant entered. He then walked up and down +the room; and, when he was again left alone, he went to Charlotte's +door, and, in a low voice, said, "Charlotte, Charlotte! but one +word more, one last adieu!" She returned no answer. He stopped, +and listened and entreated; but all was silent. At length he tore +himself from the place, crying, "Adieu, Charlotte, adieu for ever!" + +Werther ran to the gate of the town. The guards, who knew him, +let him pass in silence. The night was dark and stormy, -- it +rained and snowed. He reached his own door about eleven. His +servant, although seeing him enter the house without his hat, did +not venture to say anything; and; as he undressed his master, he +found that his clothes were wet. His hat was afterward found on +the point of a rock overhanging the valley; and it is inconceivable +how he could have climbed to the summit on such a dark, tempestuous +night without losing his life. + +He retired to bed, and slept to a late hour. The next morning his +servant, upon being called to bring his coffee, found him writing. +He was adding, to Charlotte, what we here annex. + +"For the last, last time I open these eyes. Alas! they will behold +the sun no more. It is covered by a thick, impenetrable cloud. +Yes, Nature! put on mourning: your child, your friend, your lover, +draws near his end! This thought, Charlotte, is without parallel; +and yet it seems like a mysterious dream when I repeat -- this is +my last day! The last! Charlotte, no word can adequately express +this thought. The last! To-day I stand erect in all my strength +to-morrow, cold and stark, I shall lie extended upon the ground. +To die! what is death? We do but dream in our discourse upon it. +I have seen many human beings die; but, so straitened is our feeble +nature, we have no clear conception of the beginning or the end +of our existence. At this moment I am my own -- or rather I am +thine, thine, my adored! and the next we are parted, severed -- +perhaps for ever! No, Charlotte, no! How can I, how can you, +be annihilated? We exist. What is annihilation? A mere word, +an unmeaning sound that fixes no impression on the mind. Dead, +Charlotte! laid in the cold earth, in the dark and narrow grave! +I had a friend once who was everything to me in early youth. +She died. I followed her hearse; I stood by her grave when the +coffin was lowered; and when I heard the creaking of the cords +as they were loosened and drawn up, when the first shovelful +of earth was thrown in, and the coffin returned a hollow sound, +which grew fainter and fainter till all was completely covered +over, I threw myself on the ground; my heart was smitten, grieved, +shattered, rent -- but I neither knew what had happened, nor what +was to happen to me. Death! the grave! I understand not the words. +-- Forgive, oh, forgive me! Yesterday -- ah, that day should have +been the last of my life! Thou angel! for the first time in my +existence, I felt rapture glow within my inmost soul. She loves, +she loves me! Still burns upon my lips the sacred fire they +received from thine. New torrents of delight overwhelm my soul. +Forgive me, oh, forgive! + +"I knew that I was dear to you; I saw it in your first entrancing +look, knew it by the first pressure of your hand; but when I was +absent from you, when I saw Albert at your side, my doubts and +fears returned. + +"Do you remember the flowers you sent me, when, at that crowded +assembly, you could neither speak nor extend your hand to me? +Half the night I was on my knees before those flowers, and I +regarded them as the pledges of your love; but those impressions +grew fainter, and were at length effaced. + +"Everything passes away; but a whole eternity could not extinguish +the living flame which was yesterday kindled by your lips, and +which now burns within me. She loves me! These arms have encircled +her waist, these lips have trembled upon hers. She is mine! Yes, +Charlotte, you are mine for ever! + +"And what do they mean by saying Albert is your husband? He may +be so for this world; and in this world it is a sin to love you, +to wish to tear you from his embrace. Yes, it is a crime; and I +suffer the punishment, but I have enjoyed the full delight of +my sin. I have inhaled a balm that has revived my soul. From +this hour you are mine; yes, Charlotte, you are mine! I go +before you. I go to my Father and to your Father. I will pour +out my sorrows before him, and he will give me comfort till you +arrive. Then will I fly to meet you. I will claim you, and +remain your eternal embrace, in the presence of the Almighty. + +"I do not dream, I do not rave. Drawing nearer to the grave my +perceptions become clearer. We shall exist; we shall see each +other again; we shall behold your mother; I shall behold her, and +expose to her my inmost heart. Your mother -- your image!" + +About eleven o'clock Werther asked his servant if Albert had +returned. He answered, "Yes;" for he had seen him pass on horseback: +upon which Werther sent him the following note, unsealed: + +"Be so good as to lend me your pistols for a journey. Adieu." + +Charlotte had slept little during the past night. All her +apprehensions were realised in a way that she could neither +foresee nor avoid. Her blood was boiling in her veins, and a +thousand painful sensations rent her pure heart. Was it the +ardour of Werther's passionate embraces that she felt within her +bosom? Was it anger at his daring? Was it the sad comparison +of her present condition with former days of innocence, tranquillity, +and self-confidence? How could she approach her husband, and +confess a scene which she had no reason to conceal, and which she +yet felt, nevertheless, unwilling to avow? They had preserved so +long a silence toward each other and should she be the first to +break it by so unexpected a discovery? She feared that the mere +statement of Werther's visit would trouble him, and his distress +would be heightened by her perfect candour. She wished that he +could see her in her true light, and judge her without prejudice; +but was she anxious that he should read her inmost soul? On the +other hand, could she deceive a being to whom all her thoughts +had ever been exposed as clearly as crystal, and from whom no +sentiment had ever been concealed? These reflections made her +anxious and thoughtful. Her mind still dwelt on Werther, who was +now lost to her, but whom she could not bring herself to resign, +and for whom she knew nothing was left but despair if she should +be lost to him for ever. + +A recollection of that mysterious estrangement which had lately +subsisted between herself and Albert, and which she could never +thoroughly understand, was now beyond measure painful to her. +Even the prudent and the good have before now hesitated to explain +their mutual differences, and have dwelt in silence upon their +imaginary grievances, until circumstances have become so entangled, +that in that critical juncture, when a calm explanation would +have saved all parties, an understanding was impossible. And +thus if domestic confidence had been earlier established between +them, if love and kind forbearance had mutually animated and +expanded their hearts, it might not, perhaps, even yet have been +too late to save our friend. + +But we must not forget one remarkable circumstance. We may +observe from the character of Werther's correspondence, that +he had never affected to conceal his anxious desire to quit +this world. He had often discussed the subject with Albert; +and, between the latter and Charlotte, it had not unfrequently +formed a topic of conversation. Albert was so opposed to the very +idea of such an action, that, with a degree of irritation unusual +in him, he had more than once given Werther to understand that he +doubted the seriousness of his threats, and not only turned them +into ridicule, but caused Charlotte to share his feelings of +incredulity. Her heart was thus tranquillised when she felt +disposed to view the melancholy subject in a serious point of +view, though she never communicated to her husband the +apprehensions she sometimes experienced. + +Albert, upon his return, was received by Charlotte with +ill-concealed embarrassment. He was himself out of humour; his +business was unfinished; and he had just discovered that the +neighbouring official with whom he had to deal, was an obstinate +and narrow-minded personage. Many things had occurred to irritate +him. + +He inquired whether anything had happened during his absence, and +Charlotte hastily answered that Werther had been there on the +evening previously. He then inquired for his letters, and was +answered that several packages had been left in his study. He +thereon retired, leaving Charlotte alone. + +The presence of the being she loved and honoured produced a new +impression on her heart. The recollection of his generosity, +kindness, and affection had calmed her agitation: a secret impulse +prompted her to follow him; she took her work and went to his +study, as was often her custom. He was busily employed opening +and reading his letters. It seemed as if the contents of some +were disagreeable. She asked some questions: he gave short answers, +and sat down to write. + +Several hours passed in this manner, and Charlotte's feelings +became more and more melancholy. She felt the extreme difficulty +of explaining to her husband, under any circumstances, the weight +that lay upon her heart; and her depression became every moment +greater, in proportion as she endeavoured to hide her grief, and +to conceal her tears. + +The arrival of Werther's servant occasioned her the greatest +embarrassment. He gave Albert a note, which the latter coldly +handed to his wife, saying, at the same time, "Give him the pistols. +I wish him a pleasant journey," he added, turning to the servant. +These words fell upon Charlotte like a thunderstroke: she rose +from her seat half-fainting, and unconscious of what she did. She +walked mechanically toward the wall, took down the pistols with a +trembling hand, slowly wiped the dust from them, and would have +delayed longer, had not Albert hastened her movements by an impatient +look. She then delivered the fatal weapons to the servant, without +being able to utter a word. As soon as he had departed, she folded +up her work, and retired at once to her room, her heart overcome +with the most fearful forebodings. She anticipated some dreadful +calamity. She was at one moment on the point of going to her +husband, throwing herself at his feet, and acquainting him with +all that had happened on the previous evening, that she might +acknowledge her fault, and explain her apprehensions; then she saw +that such a step would be useless, as she would certainly be unable +to induce Albert to visit Werther. Dinner was served; and a kind +friend whom she had persuaded to remain assisted to sustain the +conversation, which was carried on by a sort of compulsion, till +the events of the morning were forgotten. + +When the servant brought the pistols to Werther, the latter received +them with transports of delight upon hearing that Charlotte had +given them to him with her own hand. He ate some bread, drank +some wine, sent his servant to dinner, and then sat down to write +as follows: + +"They have been in your hands you wiped the dust from them. I +kiss them a thousand times -- you have touched them. Yes, Heaven +favours my design, and you, Charlotte, provide me with the fatal +instruments. It was my desire to receive my death from your hands, +and my wish is gratified. I have made inquiries of my servant. +You trembled when you gave him the pistols, but you bade me no +adieu. Wretched, wretched that I am -- not one farewell! How +could you shut your heart against me in that hour which makes you +mine for ever? Charlotte, ages cannot efface the impression -- I +feel you cannot hate the man who so passionately loves you!" + +After dinner he called his servant, desired him to finish the +packing up, destroyed many papers, and then went out to pay some +trifling debts. He soon returned home, then went out again, +notwithstanding the rain, walked for some time in the count's +garden, and afterward proceeded farther into the country. Toward +evening he came back once more, and resumed his writing. + +"Wilhelm, I have for the last time beheld the mountains, the forests, +and the sky. Farewell! And you, my dearest mother, forgive me! +Console her, Wilhelm. God bless you! I have settled all my +affairs! Farewell! We shall meet again, and be happier than ever." + +"I have requited you badly, Albert; but you will forgive me. I +have disturbed the peace of your home. I have sowed distrust +between you. Farewell! I will end all this wretchedness. And +oh, that my death may render you happy! Albert, Albert! make that +angel happy, and the blessing of Heaven be upon you!" + +He spent the rest of the evening in arranging his papers: he tore +and burned a great many; others he sealed up, and directed to +Wilhelm. They contained some detached thoughts and maxims, some +of which I have perused. At ten o'clock he ordered his fire to +be made up, and a bottle of wine to be brought to him. He then +dismissed his servant, whose room, as well as the apartments of +the rest of the family, was situated in another part of the house. +The servant lay down without undressing, that he might be the +sooner ready for his journey in the morning, his master having +informed him that the post-horses would be at the door before six +o'clock. + +"Past eleven o'clock! All is silent around me, and my soul is +calm. I thank thee, O God, that thou bestowest strength and courage +upon me in these last moments! I approach the window, my dearest +of friends; and through the clouds, which are at this moment driven +rapidly along by the impetuous winds, I behold the stars which +illumine the eternal heavens. No, you will not fall, celestial +bodies: the hand of the Almighty supports both you and me! I have +looked for the last time upon the constellation of the Greater +Bear: it is my favourite star; for when I bade you farewell at +night, Charlotte, and turned my steps from your door, it always +shone upon me. With what rapture have I at times beheld it! How +often have I implored it with uplifted hands to witness my felicity! +and even still -- But what object is there, Charlotte, which fails +to summon up your image before me? Do you not surround me on all +sides? and have I not, like a child, treasured up every trifle +which you have consecrated by your touch? + +"Your profile, which was so dear to me, I return to you; and I +pray you to preserve it. Thousands of kisses have I imprinted +upon it, and a thousand times has it gladdened my heart on departing +from and returning to my home. + +"I have implored your father to protect my remains. At the corner +of the churchyard, looking toward the fields, there are two +lime-trees -- there I wish to lie. Your father can, and doubtless +will, do this much for his friend. Implore it of him. But perhaps +pious Christians will not choose that their bodies chould be +buried near the corpse of a poor, unhappy wretch like me. Then +let me be laid in some remote valley, or near the highway, where +the priest and Levite may bless themselves as they pass by my +tomb, whilst the Samaritan will shed a tear for my fate. + +"See, Charlotte, I do not shudder to take the cold and fatal cup, +from which I shall drink the draught of death. Your hand presents +it to me, and I do not tremble. All, all is now concluded: the +wishes and the hopes of my existence are fulfilled. With cold, +unflinching hand I knock at the brazen portals of Death. Oh, that +I had enjoyed the bliss of dying for you! how gladly would I have +sacrificed myself for you; Charlotte! And could I but restore +peace and joy to your bosom, with what resolution, with what joy, +would I not meet my fate! But it is the lot of only a chosen few +to shed their blood for their friends, and by their death to +augment, a thousand times, the happiness of those by whom they are +beloved. + +I wish, Charlotte, to be buried in the dress I wear at present: +it has been rendered sacred by your touch. I have begged this +favour of your father. My spirit soars above my sepulchre. I +do not wish my pockets to be searched. The knot of pink ribbon +which you wore on your bosom the first time I saw you, surrounded +by the children -- Oh, kiss them a thousand times for me, and +tell them the fate of their unhappy friend! I think I see them +playing around me. The dear children! How warmly have I been +attached to you, Charlotte! Since the first hour I saw you, how +impossible have I found it to leave you. This ribbon must be +buried with me: it was a present from you on my birthday. How +confused it all appears! Little did I then think that I should +journey this road. But peace! I pray you, peace! + +"They are loaded -- the clock strikes twelve. I say amen. +Charlotte, Charlotte! farewell, farewell!" + +A neighbour saw the flash, and heard the report of the pistol; +but, as everything remained quiet, he thought no more of it. + +In the morning, at six o'clock, the servant went into Werther's +room with a candle. He found his master stretched upon the floor, +weltering in his blood, and the pistols at his side. He called, +he took him in his arms, but received no answer. Life was not yet +quite extinct. The servant ran for a surgeon, and then went to +fetch Albert. Charlotte heard the ringing of the bell: a cold +shudder seized her. She wakened her husband, and they both rose. +The servant, bathed in tears faltered forth the dreadful news. +Charlotte fell senseless at Albert's feet. + +When the surgeon came to the unfortunate Werther, he was still +lying on the floor; and his pulse beat, but his limbs were cold. +The bullet, entering the forehead, over the right eye, had +penetrated the skull. A vein was opened in his right arm: the +blood came, and he still continued to breathe. + +>From the blood which flowed from the chair, it could be inferred +that he had committed the rash act sitting at his bureau, and that +he afterward fell upon the floor. He was found lying on his back +near the window. He was in full-dress costume. + +The house, the neighbourhood, and the whole town were immediately +in commotion. Albert arrived. They had laid Werther on the bed: +his head was bound up, and the paleness of death was upon his face. +His limbs were motionless; but he still breathed, at one time +strongly, then weaker -- his death was momently expected. + +He had drunk only one glass of the wine. "Emilia Galotti" lay +open upon his bureau. + +I shall say nothing of Albert's distress, or of Charlotte's grief. + +The old steward hastened to the house immediately upon hearing the +news: he embraced his dying friend amid a flood of tears. His +eldest boys soon followed him on foot. In speechless sorrow they +threw themselves on their knees by the bedside, and kissed his +hands and face. The eldest, who was his favourite, hung over him +till he expired; and even then he was removed by force. At twelve +o'clock Werther breathed his last. The presence of the steward, +and the precautions he had adopted, prevented a disturbance; and +that night, at the hour of eleven, he caused the body to be interred +in the place which Werther had selected for himself. + +The steward and his sons followed the corpse to the grave. Albert +was unable to accompany them. Charlotte's life was despaired of. +The body was carried by labourers. No priest attended. + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg Etext of The Sorrows of Young Werther by +J.W. von Goethe |