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diff --git a/2527-0.txt b/2527-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..0522883 --- /dev/null +++ b/2527-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,4057 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 2527 *** + + + + +THE SORROWS OF YOUNG WERTHER + +By J.W. von Goethe + +Translated by R.D. Boylan + +Edited by Nathen Haskell Dole + +The Sorrows of Young Werther + + + + +PREFACE + + +I have carefully collected whatever I have been able to learn of the +story of poor Werther, and here present it to you, knowing that you +will thank me for it. To his spirit and character you cannot refuse your +admiration and love: to his fate you will not deny your tears. + +And thou, good soul, who sufferest the same distress as he endured once, +draw comfort from his sorrows; and let this little book be thy friend, +if, owing to fortune or through thine own fault, thou canst not find a +dearer companion. + + + + +BOOK I + +MAY 4. + +How happy I am that I am gone! My dear friend, what a thing is the heart +of man! To leave you, from whom I have been inseparable, whom I love +so dearly, and yet to feel happy! I know you will forgive me. Have not +other attachments been specially appointed by fate to torment a head +like mine? Poor Leonora! and yet I was not to blame. Was it my fault, +that, whilst the peculiar charms of her sister afforded me an agreeable +entertainment, a passion for me was engendered in her feeble heart? And +yet am I wholly blameless? Did I not encourage her emotions? Did I not +feel charmed at those truly genuine expressions of nature, which, though +but little mirthful in reality, so often amused us? Did I not—but +oh! what is man, that he dares so to accuse himself? My dear friend I +promise you I will improve; I will no longer, as has ever been my habit, +continue to ruminate on every petty vexation which fortune may dispense; +I will enjoy the present, and the past shall be for me the past. +No doubt you are right, my best of friends, there would be far less +suffering amongst mankind, if men—and God knows why they are so +fashioned—did not employ their imaginations so assiduously in recalling +the memory of past sorrow, instead of bearing their present lot with +equanimity. Be kind enough to inform my mother that I shall attend to +her business to the best of my ability, and shall give her the earliest +information about it. I have seen my aunt, and find that she is very far +from being the disagreeable person our friends allege her to be. She is +a lively, cheerful woman, with the best of hearts. I explained to her my +mother's wrongs with regard to that part of her portion which has +been withheld from her. She told me the motives and reasons of her own +conduct, and the terms on which she is willing to give up the whole, +and to do more than we have asked. In short, I cannot write further upon +this subject at present; only assure my mother that all will go on well. +And I have again observed, my dear friend, in this trifling affair, that +misunderstandings and neglect occasion more mischief in the world than +even malice and wickedness. At all events, the two latter are of less +frequent occurrence. + +In other respects I am very well off here. Solitude in this terrestrial +paradise is a genial balm to my mind, and the young spring cheers with +its bounteous promises my oftentimes misgiving heart. Every tree, every +bush, is full of flowers; and one might wish himself transformed into a +butterfly, to float about in this ocean of perfume, and find his whole +existence in it. + +The town itself is disagreeable; but then, all around, you find an +inexpressible beauty of nature. This induced the late Count M to lay +out a garden on one of the sloping hills which here intersect each other +with the most charming variety, and form the most lovely valleys. The +garden is simple; and it is easy to perceive, even upon your first +entrance, that the plan was not designed by a scientific gardener, but +by a man who wished to give himself up here to the enjoyment of his own +sensitive heart. Many a tear have I already shed to the memory of its +departed master in a summer-house which is now reduced to ruins, but +was his favourite resort, and now is mine. I shall soon be master of the +place. The gardener has become attached to me within the last few days, +and he will lose nothing thereby. + +MAY 10. + +A wonderful serenity has taken possession of my entire soul, like these +sweet mornings of spring which I enjoy with my whole heart. I am alone, +and feel the charm of existence in this spot, which was created for the +bliss of souls like mine. I am so happy, my dear friend, so absorbed +in the exquisite sense of mere tranquil existence, that I neglect my +talents. I should be incapable of drawing a single stroke at the present +moment; and yet I feel that I never was a greater artist than now. When, +while the lovely valley teems with vapour around me, and the meridian +sun strikes the upper surface of the impenetrable foliage of my trees, +and but a few stray gleams steal into the inner sanctuary, I throw +myself down among the tall grass by the trickling stream; and, as I lie +close to the earth, a thousand unknown plants are noticed by me: when +I hear the buzz of the little world among the stalks, and grow familiar +with the countless indescribable forms of the insects and flies, then I +feel the presence of the Almighty, who formed us in his own image, and +the breath of that universal love which bears and sustains us, as it +floats around us in an eternity of bliss; and then, my friend, when +darkness overspreads my eyes, and heaven and earth seem to dwell in my +soul and absorb its power, like the form of a beloved mistress, then I +often think with longing, Oh, would I could describe these conceptions, +could impress upon paper all that is living so full and warm within me, +that it might be the mirror of my soul, as my soul is the mirror of the +infinite God! O my friend—but it is too much for my strength—I sink +under the weight of the splendour of these visions! + +MAY 12. + +I know not whether some deceitful spirits haunt this spot, or whether +it be the warm, celestial fancy in my own heart which makes everything +around me seem like paradise. In front of the house is a fountain,—a +fountain to which I am bound by a charm like Melusina and her sisters. +Descending a gentle slope, you come to an arch, where, some twenty steps +lower down, water of the clearest crystal gushes from the marble rock. +The narrow wall which encloses it above, the tall trees which encircle +the spot, and the coolness of the place itself,—everything imparts +a pleasant but sublime impression. Not a day passes on which I do not +spend an hour there. The young maidens come from the town to fetch +water,—innocent and necessary employment, and formerly the occupation +of the daughters of kings. As I take my rest there, the idea of the old +patriarchal life is awakened around me. I see them, our old ancestors, +how they formed their friendships and contracted alliances at the +fountain-side; and I feel how fountains and streams were guarded by +beneficent spirits. He who is a stranger to these sensations has never +really enjoyed cool repose at the side of a fountain after the fatigue +of a weary summer day. + +MAY 13. + +You ask if you shall send me books. My dear friend, I beseech you, +for the love of God, relieve me from such a yoke! I need no more to be +guided, agitated, heated. My heart ferments sufficiently of itself. +I want strains to lull me, and I find them to perfection in my Homer. +Often do I strive to allay the burning fever of my blood; and you have +never witnessed anything so unsteady, so uncertain, as my heart. But +need I confess this to you, my dear friend, who have so often endured +the anguish of witnessing my sudden transitions from sorrow to +immoderate joy, and from sweet melancholy to violent passions? I treat +my poor heart like a sick child, and gratify its every fancy. Do not +mention this again: there are people who would censure me for it. + +MAY 15. + +The common people of the place know me already, and love me, +particularly the children. When at first I associated with them, and +inquired in a friendly tone about their various trifles, some fancied +that I wished to ridicule them, and turned from me in exceeding +ill-humour. I did not allow that circumstance to grieve me: I only felt +most keenly what I have often before observed. Persons who can claim +a certain rank keep themselves coldly aloof from the common people, +as though they feared to lose their importance by the contact; whilst +wanton idlers, and such as are prone to bad joking, affect to descend +to their level, only to make the poor people feel their impertinence all +the more keenly. + +I know very well that we are not all equal, nor can be so; but it is my +opinion that he who avoids the common people, in order not to lose their +respect, is as much to blame as a coward who hides himself from his +enemy because he fears defeat. + +The other day I went to the fountain, and found a young servant-girl, +who had set her pitcher on the lowest step, and looked around to see +if one of her companions was approaching to place it on her head. I ran +down, and looked at her. "Shall I help you, pretty lass?" said I. She +blushed deeply. "Oh, sir!" she exclaimed. "No ceremony!" I replied. She +adjusted her head-gear, and I helped her. She thanked me, and ascended +the steps. + +MAY 17. + +I have made all sorts of acquaintances, but have as yet found no +society. I know not what attraction I possess for the people, so many +of them like me, and attach themselves to me; and then I feel sorry when +the road we pursue together goes only a short distance. If you inquire +what the people are like here, I must answer, "The same as everywhere." +The human race is but a monotonous affair. Most of them labour the +greater part of their time for mere subsistence; and the scanty portion +of freedom which remains to them so troubles them that they use every +exertion to get rid of it. Oh, the destiny of man! + +But they are a right good sort of people. If I occasionally forget +myself, and take part in the innocent pleasures which are not yet +forbidden to the peasantry, and enjoy myself, for instance, with +genuine freedom and sincerity, round a well-covered table, or arrange an +excursion or a dance opportunely, and so forth, all this produces a good +effect upon my disposition; only I must forget that there lie dormant +within me so many other qualities which moulder uselessly, and which +I am obliged to keep carefully concealed. Ah! this thought affects my +spirits fearfully. And yet to be misunderstood is the fate of the like +of us. + +Alas, that the friend of my youth is gone! Alas, that I ever knew her! I +might say to myself, "You are a dreamer to seek what is not to be found +here below." But she has been mine. I have possessed that heart, that +noble soul, in whose presence I seemed to be more than I really was, +because I was all that I could be. Good heavens! did then a single power +of my soul remain unexercised? In her presence could I not display, to +its full extent, that mysterious feeling with which my heart embraces +nature? Was not our intercourse a perpetual web of the finest emotions, +of the keenest wit, the varieties of which, even in their very +eccentricity, bore the stamp of genius? Alas! the few years by which she +was my senior brought her to the grave before me. Never can I forget her +firm mind or her heavenly patience. + +A few days ago I met a certain young V—, a frank, open fellow, with +a most pleasing countenance. He has just left the university, does not +deem himself overwise, but believes he knows more than other people. +He has worked hard, as I can perceive from many circumstances, and, in +short, possesses a large stock of information. When he heard that I am +drawing a good deal, and that I know Greek (two wonderful things for +this part of the country), he came to see me, and displayed his whole +store of learning, from Batteaux to Wood, from De Piles to Winkelmann: +he assured me he had read through the first part of Sultzer's theory, +and also possessed a manuscript of Heyne's work on the study of the +antique. I allowed it all to pass. + +I have become acquainted, also, with a very worthy person, the district +judge, a frank and open-hearted man. I am told it is a most delightful +thing to see him in the midst of his children, of whom he has nine. His +eldest daughter especially is highly spoken of. He has invited me to go +and see him, and I intend to do so on the first opportunity. He lives +at one of the royal hunting-lodges, which can be reached from here in an +hour and a half by walking, and which he obtained leave to inhabit after +the loss of his wife, as it is so painful to him to reside in town and +at the court. + +There have also come in my way a few other originals of a questionable +sort, who are in all respects undesirable, and most intolerable in their +demonstration of friendship. Good-bye. This letter will please you: it +is quite historical. + +MAY 22. + +That the life of man is but a dream, many a man has surmised heretofore; +and I, too, am everywhere pursued by this feeling. When I consider +the narrow limits within which our active and inquiring faculties are +confined; when I see how all our energies are wasted in providing for +mere necessities, which again have no further end than to prolong +a wretched existence; and then that all our satisfaction concerning +certain subjects of investigation ends in nothing better than a passive +resignation, whilst we amuse ourselves painting our prison-walls with +bright figures and brilliant landscapes,—when I consider all this, +Wilhelm, I am silent. I examine my own being, and find there a world, +but a world rather of imagination and dim desires, than of distinctness +and living power. Then everything swims before my senses, and I smile +and dream while pursuing my way through the world. + +All learned professors and doctors are agreed that children do not +comprehend the cause of their desires; but that the grown-up should +wander about this earth like children, without knowing whence they come, +or whither they go, influenced as little by fixed motives, but guided +like them by biscuits, sugar-plums, and the rod,—this is what nobody is +willing to acknowledge; and yet I think it is palpable. + +I know what you will say in reply; for I am ready to admit that they are +happiest, who, like children, amuse themselves with their playthings, +dress and undress their dolls, and attentively watch the cupboard, +where mamma has locked up her sweet things, and, when at last they get +a delicious morsel, eat it greedily, and exclaim, "More!" These are +certainly happy beings; but others also are objects of envy, who dignify +their paltry employments, and sometimes even their passions, with +pompous titles, representing them to mankind as gigantic achievements +performed for their welfare and glory. But the man who humbly +acknowledges the vanity of all this, who observes with what pleasure +the thriving citizen converts his little garden into a paradise, and how +patiently even the poor man pursues his weary way under his burden, +and how all wish equally to behold the light of the sun a little +longer,—yes, such a man is at peace, and creates his own world within +himself; and he is also happy, because he is a man. And then, however +limited his sphere, he still preserves in his bosom the sweet feeling of +liberty, and knows that he can quit his prison whenever he likes. + +MAY 26. + +You know of old my ways of settling anywhere, of selecting a little +cottage in some cosy spot, and of putting up in it with every +inconvenience. Here, too, I have discovered such a snug, comfortable +place, which possesses peculiar charms for me. + +About a league from the town is a place called Walheim. (The reader +need not take the trouble to look for the place thus designated. We have +found it necessary to change the names given in the original.) It is +delightfully situated on the side of a hill; and, by proceeding along +one of the footpaths which lead out of the village, you can have a view +of the whole valley. A good old woman lives there, who keeps a small +inn. She sells wine, beer, and coffee, and is cheerful and pleasant +notwithstanding her age. The chief charm of this spot consists in two +linden-trees, spreading their enormous branches over the little green +before the church, which is entirely surrounded by peasants' cottages, +barns, and homesteads. I have seldom seen a place so retired and +peaceable; and there often have my table and chair brought out from +the little inn, and drink my coffee there, and read my Homer. Accident +brought me to the spot one fine afternoon, and I found it perfectly +deserted. Everybody was in the fields except a little boy about four +years of age, who was sitting on the ground, and held between his knees +a child about six months old: he pressed it to his bosom with both +arms, which thus formed a sort of arm-chair; and, notwithstanding the +liveliness which sparkled in its black eyes, it remained perfectly +still. The sight charmed me. I sat down upon a plough opposite, and +sketched with great delight this little picture of brotherly tenderness. +I added the neighbouring hedge, the barn-door, and some broken +cart-wheels, just as they happened to lie; and I found in about an hour +that I had made a very correct and interesting drawing, without putting +in the slightest thing of my own. This confirmed me in my resolution +of adhering, for the future, entirely to nature. She alone is +inexhaustible, and capable of forming the greatest masters. Much may be +alleged in favour of rules, as much may be likewise advanced in favour +of the laws of society: an artist formed upon them will never produce +anything absolutely bad or disgusting; as a man who observes the laws, +and obeys decorum, can never be an absolutely intolerable neighbour, nor +a decided villain: but yet, say what you will of rules, they destroy the +genuine feeling of nature, as well as its true expression. Do not tell +me "that this is too hard, that they only restrain and prune superfluous +branches, etc." My good friend, I will illustrate this by an analogy. +These things resemble love. A warmhearted youth becomes strongly +attached to a maiden: he spends every hour of the day in her company, +wears out his health, and lavishes his fortune, to afford continual +proof that he is wholly devoted to her. Then comes a man of the world, a +man of place and respectability, and addresses him thus: "My good young +friend, love is natural; but you must love within bounds. Divide your +time: devote a portion to business, and give the hours of recreation to +your mistress. Calculate your fortune; and out of the superfluity you +may make her a present, only not too often,—on her birthday, and such +occasions." Pursuing this advice, he may become a useful member of +society, and I should advise every prince to give him an appointment; +but it is all up with his love, and with his genius if he be an artist. +O my friend! why is it that the torrent of genius so seldom bursts +forth, so seldom rolls in full-flowing stream, overwhelming your +astounded soul? Because, on either side of this stream, cold and +respectable persons have taken up their abodes, and, forsooth, their +summer-houses and tulip-beds would suffer from the torrent; wherefore +they dig trenches, and raise embankments betimes, in order to avert the +impending danger. + +MAY 27. + +I find I have fallen into raptures, declamation, and similes, and have +forgotten, in consequence, to tell you what became of the children. +Absorbed in my artistic contemplations, which I briefly described in my +letter of yesterday, I continued sitting on the plough for two hours. +Toward evening a young woman, with a basket on her arm, came running +toward the children, who had not moved all that time. She exclaimed +from a distance, "You are a good boy, Philip!" She gave me greeting: I +returned it, rose, and approached her. I inquired if she were the mother +of those pretty children. "Yes," she said; and, giving the eldest a +piece of bread, she took the little one in her arms and kissed it with +a mother's tenderness. "I left my child in Philip's care," she said, +"whilst I went into the town with my eldest boy to buy some wheaten +bread, some sugar, and an earthen pot." I saw the various articles in +the basket, from which the cover had fallen. "I shall make some broth +to-night for my little Hans (which was the name of the youngest): +that wild fellow, the big one, broke my pot yesterday, whilst he was +scrambling with Philip for what remained of the contents." I inquired +for the eldest; and she had scarcely time to tell me that he was driving +a couple of geese home from the meadow, when he ran up, and handed +Philip an osier-twig. I talked a little longer with the woman, and found +that she was the daughter of the schoolmaster, and that her husband was +gone on a journey into Switzerland for some money a relation had left +him. "They wanted to cheat him," she said, "and would not answer +his letters; so he is gone there himself. I hope he has met with no +accident, as I have heard nothing of him since his departure." I left +the woman, with regret, giving each of the children a kreutzer, with an +additional one for the youngest, to buy some wheaten bread for his broth +when she went to town next; and so we parted. I assure you, my dear +friend, when my thoughts are all in tumult, the sight of such a +creature as this tranquillises my disturbed mind. She moves in a +happy thoughtlessness within the confined circle of her existence; she +supplies her wants from day to day; and, when she sees the leaves fall, +they raise no other idea in her mind than that winter is approaching. +Since that time I have gone out there frequently. The children have +become quite familiar with me; and each gets a lump of sugar when I +drink my coffee, and they share my milk and bread and butter in the +evening. They always receive their kreutzer on Sundays, for the good +woman has orders to give it to them when I do not go there after evening +service. They are quite at home with me, tell me everything; and I am +particularly amused with observing their tempers, and the simplicity of +their behaviour, when some of the other village children are assembled +with them. + +It has given me a deal of trouble to satisfy the anxiety of the mother, +lest (as she says) "they should inconvenience the gentleman." + +MAY 30. + +What I have lately said of painting is equally true with respect to +poetry. It is only necessary for us to know what is really excellent, +and venture to give it expression; and that is saying much in few words. +To-day I have had a scene, which, if literally related, would, make the +most beautiful idyl in the world. But why should I talk of poetry and +scenes and idyls? Can we never take pleasure in nature without having +recourse to art? + +If you expect anything grand or magnificent from this introduction, +you will be sadly mistaken. It relates merely to a peasant-lad, who +has excited in me the warmest interest. As usual, I shall tell my story +badly; and you, as usual, will think me extravagant. It is Walheim once +more—always Walheim—which produces these wonderful phenomena. + +A party had assembled outside the house under the linden-trees, to drink +coffee. The company did not exactly please me; and, under one pretext or +another, I lingered behind. + +A peasant came from an adjoining house, and set to work arranging some +part of the same plough which I had lately sketched. His appearance +pleased me; and I spoke to him, inquired about his circumstances, made +his acquaintance, and, as is my wont with persons of that class, was +soon admitted into his confidence. He said he was in the service of +a young widow, who set great store by him. He spoke so much of his +mistress, and praised her so extravagantly, that I could soon see he was +desperately in love with her. "She is no longer young," he said: "and +she was treated so badly by her former husband that she does not mean +to marry again." From his account it was so evident what incomparable +charms she possessed for him, and how ardently he wished she would +select him to extinguish the recollection of her first husband's +misconduct, that I should have to repeat his own words in order to +describe the depth of the poor fellow's attachment, truth, and devotion. +It would, in fact, require the gifts of a great poet to convey the +expression of his features, the harmony of his voice, and the heavenly +fire of his eye. No words can portray the tenderness of his every +movement and of every feature: no effort of mine could do justice to the +scene. His alarm lest I should misconceive his position with regard +to his mistress, or question the propriety of her conduct, touched me +particularly. The charming manner with which he described her form and +person, which, without possessing the graces of youth, won and attached +him to her, is inexpressible, and must be left to the imagination. I +have never in my life witnessed or fancied or conceived the possibility +of such intense devotion, such ardent affections, united with so much +purity. Do not blame me if I say that the recollection of this innocence +and truth is deeply impressed upon my very soul; that this picture of +fidelity and tenderness haunts me everywhere; and that my own heart, as +though enkindled by the flame, glows and burns within me. + +I mean now to try and see her as soon as I can: or perhaps, on second +thoughts, I had better not; it is better I should behold her through the +eyes of her lover. To my sight, perhaps, she would not appear as she now +stands before me; and why should I destroy so sweet a picture? + +JUNE 16. + +"Why do I not write to you?" You lay claim to learning, and ask such a +question. You should have guessed that I am well—that is to say—in a +word, I have made an acquaintance who has won my heart: I have—I know +not. + +To give you a regular account of the manner in which I have become +acquainted with the most amiable of women would be a difficult task. I +am a happy and contented mortal, but a poor historian. + +An angel! Nonsense! Everybody so describes his mistress; and yet I find +it impossible to tell you how perfect she is, or why she is so perfect: +suffice it to say she has captivated all my senses. + +So much simplicity with so much understanding—so mild, and yet so +resolute—a mind so placid, and a life so active. + +But all this is ugly balderdash, which expresses not a single character +nor feature. Some other time—but no, not some other time, now, this +very instant, will I tell you all about it. Now or never. Well, between +ourselves, since I commenced my letter, I have been three times on the +point of throwing down my pen, of ordering my horse, and riding out. +And yet I vowed this morning that I would not ride to-day, and yet every +moment I am rushing to the window to see how high the sun is. + +I could not restrain myself—go to her I must. I have just returned, +Wilhelm; and whilst I am taking supper I will write to you. What +a delight it was for my soul to see her in the midst of her dear, +beautiful children,—eight brothers and sisters! + +But, if I proceed thus, you will be no wiser at the end of my letter +than you were at the beginning. Attend, then, and I will compel myself +to give you the details. + +I mentioned to you the other day that I had become acquainted with S—, +the district judge, and that he had invited me to go and visit him in +his retirement, or rather in his little kingdom. But I neglected going, +and perhaps should never have gone, if chance had not discovered to me +the treasure which lay concealed in that retired spot. Some of our young +people had proposed giving a ball in the country, at which I consented +to be present. I offered my hand for the evening to a pretty and +agreeable, but rather commonplace, sort of girl from the immediate +neighbourhood; and it was agreed that I should engage a carriage, and +call upon Charlotte, with my partner and her aunt, to convey them to the +ball. My companion informed me, as we drove along through the park +to the hunting-lodge, that I should make the acquaintance of a very +charming young lady. "Take care," added the aunt, "that you do not lose +your heart." "Why?" said I. "Because she is already engaged to a very +worthy man," she replied, "who is gone to settle his affairs upon +the death of his father, and will succeed to a very considerable +inheritance." This information possessed no interest for me. When +we arrived at the gate, the sun was setting behind the tops of the +mountains. The atmosphere was heavy; and the ladies expressed their +fears of an approaching storm, as masses of low black clouds were +gathering in the horizon. I relieved their anxieties by pretending to be +weather-wise, although I myself had some apprehensions lest our pleasure +should be interrupted. + +I alighted; and a maid came to the door, and requested us to wait a +moment for her mistress. I walked across the court to a well-built +house, and, ascending the flight of steps in front, opened the door, +and saw before me the most charming spectacle I had ever witnessed. Six +children, from eleven to two years old, were running about the hall, and +surrounding a lady of middle height, with a lovely figure, dressed in a +robe of simple white, trimmed with pink ribbons. She was holding a rye +loaf in her hand, and was cutting slices for the little ones all around, +in proportion to their age and appetite. She performed her task in a +graceful and affectionate manner; each claimant awaiting his turn with +outstretched hands, and boisterously shouting his thanks. Some of them +ran away at once, to enjoy their evening meal; whilst others, of a +gentler disposition, retired to the courtyard to see the strangers, and +to survey the carriage in which their Charlotte was to drive away. "Pray +forgive me for giving you the trouble to come for me, and for keeping +the ladies waiting: but dressing, and arranging some household duties +before I leave, had made me forget my children's supper; and they do +not like to take it from any one but me." I uttered some indifferent +compliment: but my whole soul was absorbed by her air, her voice, her +manner; and I had scarcely recovered myself when she ran into her room +to fetch her gloves and fan. The young ones threw inquiring glances at +me from a distance; whilst I approached the youngest, a most delicious +little creature. He drew back; and Charlotte, entering at the very +moment, said, "Louis, shake hands with your cousin." The little fellow +obeyed willingly; and I could not resist giving him a hearty kiss, +notwithstanding his rather dirty face. "Cousin," said I to Charlotte, +as I handed her down, "do you think I deserve the happiness of being +related to you?" She replied, with a ready smile, "Oh! I have such +a number of cousins, that I should be sorry if you were the most +undeserving of them." In taking leave, she desired her next sister, +Sophy, a girl about eleven years old, to take great care of the +children, and to say good-bye to papa for her when he came home from his +ride. She enjoined to the little ones to obey their sister Sophy as they +would herself, upon which some promised that they would; but a little +fair-haired girl, about six years old, looked discontented, and said, +"But Sophy is not you, Charlotte; and we like you best." The two eldest +boys had clambered up the carriage; and, at my request, she permitted +them to accompany us a little way through the forest, upon their +promising to sit very still, and hold fast. + +We were hardly seated, and the ladies had scarcely exchanged +compliments, making the usual remarks upon each other's dress, and upon +the company they expected to meet, when Charlotte stopped the carriage, +and made her brothers get down. They insisted upon kissing her hands +once more; which the eldest did with all the tenderness of a youth +of fifteen, but the other in a lighter and more careless manner. She +desired them again to give her love to the children, and we drove off. + +The aunt inquired of Charlotte whether she had finished the book she had +last sent her. "No," said Charlotte; "I did not like it: you can have +it again. And the one before was not much better." I was surprised, upon +asking the title, to hear that it was ____. (We feel obliged to suppress +the passage in the letter, to prevent any one from feeling aggrieved; +although no author need pay much attention to the opinion of a mere +girl, or that of an unsteady young man.) + +I found penetration and character in everything she said: every +expression seemed to brighten her features with new charms,—with +new rays of genius,—which unfolded by degrees, as she felt herself +understood. + +"When I was younger," she observed, "I loved nothing so much as +romances. Nothing could equal my delight when, on some holiday, I could +settle down quietly in a corner, and enter with my whole heart and soul +into the joys or sorrows of some fictitious Leonora. I do not deny that +they even possess some charms for me yet. But I read so seldom, that I +prefer books suited exactly to my taste. And I like those authors best +whose scenes describe my own situation in life,—and the friends who are +about me, whose stories touch me with interest, from resembling my own +homely existence,—which, without being absolutely paradise, is, on the +whole, a source of indescribable happiness." + +I endeavoured to conceal the emotion which these words occasioned, but +it was of slight avail; for, when she had expressed so truly her opinion +of "The Vicar of Wakefield," and of other works, the names of which I +omit (Though the names are omitted, yet the authors mentioned deserve +Charlotte's approbation, and will feel it in their hearts when they read +this passage. It concerns no other person.), I could no longer contain +myself, but gave full utterance to what I thought of it: and it was not +until Charlotte had addressed herself to the two other ladies, that +I remembered their presence, and observed them sitting mute with +astonishment. The aunt looked at me several times with an air of +raillery, which, however, I did not at all mind. + +We talked of the pleasures of dancing. "If it is a fault to love it," +said Charlotte, "I am ready to confess that I prize it above all other +amusements. If anything disturbs me, I go to the piano, play an air to +which I have danced, and all goes right again directly." + +You, who know me, can fancy how steadfastly I gazed upon her rich dark +eyes during these remarks, how my very soul gloated over her warm lips +and fresh, glowing cheeks, how I became quite lost in the delightful +meaning of her words, so much so, that I scarcely heard the actual +expressions. In short, I alighted from the carriage like a person in a +dream, and was so lost to the dim world around me, that I scarcely heard +the music which resounded from the illuminated ballroom. + +The two Messrs. Andran and a certain N. N. (I cannot trouble myself with +the names), who were the aunt's and Charlotte's partners, received us +at the carriage-door, and took possession of their ladies, whilst I +followed with mine. + +We commenced with a minuet. I led out one lady after another, and +precisely those who were the most disagreeable could not bring +themselves to leave off. Charlotte and her partner began an English +country dance, and you must imagine my delight when it was their turn +to dance the figure with us. You should see Charlotte dance. She dances +with her whole heart and soul: her figure is all harmony, elegance, +and grace, as if she were conscious of nothing else, and had no +other thought or feeling; and, doubtless, for the moment, every other +sensation is extinct. + +She was engaged for the second country dance, but promised me the third, +and assured me, with the most agreeable freedom, that she was very +fond of waltzing. "It is the custom here," she said, "for the previous +partners to waltz together; but my partner is an indifferent waltzer, +and will feel delighted if I save him the trouble. Your partner is not +allowed to waltz, and, indeed, is equally incapable: but I observed +during the country dance that you waltz well; so, if you will waltz with +me, I beg you would propose it to my partner, and I will propose it to +yours." We agreed, and it was arranged that our partners should mutually +entertain each other. + +We set off, and, at first, delighted ourselves with the usual graceful +motions of the arms. With what grace, with what ease, she moved! When +the waltz commenced, and the dancers whirled around each other in the +giddy maze, there was some confusion, owing to the incapacity of some of +the dancers. We judiciously remained still, allowing the others to weary +themselves; and, when the awkward dancers had withdrawn, we joined in, +and kept it up famously together with one other couple,—Andran and his +partner. Never did I dance more lightly. I felt myself more than mortal, +holding this loveliest of creatures in my arms, flying, with her as +rapidly as the wind, till I lost sight of every other object; and O +Wilhelm, I vowed at that moment, that a maiden whom I loved, or for whom +I felt the slightest attachment, never, never should waltz with any one +else but with me, if I went to perdition for it!—you will understand +this. + +We took a few turns in the room to recover our breath. Charlotte sat +down, and felt refreshed by partaking of some oranges which I had had +secured,—the only ones that had been left; but at every slice which, +from politeness, she offered to her neighbours, I felt as though a +dagger went through my heart. + +We were the second couple in the third country dance. As we were going +down (and Heaven knows with what ecstasy I gazed at her arms and eyes, +beaming with the sweetest feeling of pure and genuine enjoyment), +we passed a lady whom I had noticed for her charming expression of +countenance; although she was no longer young. She looked at Charlotte +with a smile, then, holding up her finger in a threatening attitude, +repeated twice in a very significant tone of voice the name of "Albert." + +"Who is Albert," said I to Charlotte, "if it is not impertinent to ask?" +She was about to answer, when we were obliged to separate, in order to +execute a figure in the dance; and, as we crossed over again in front of +each other, I perceived she looked somewhat pensive. "Why need I conceal +it from you?" she said, as she gave me her hand for the promenade. +"Albert is a worthy man, to whom I am engaged." Now, there was nothing +new to me in this (for the girls had told me of it on the way); but it +was so far new that I had not thought of it in connection with her whom, +in so short a time, I had learned to prize so highly. Enough, I became +confused, got out in the figure, and occasioned general confusion; so +that it required all Charlotte's presence of mind to set me right by +pulling and pushing me into my proper place. + +The dance was not yet finished when the lightning which had for some +time been seen in the horizon, and which I had asserted to proceed +entirely from heat, grew more violent; and the thunder was heard above +the music. When any distress or terror surprises us in the midst of our +amusements, it naturally makes a deeper impression than at other times, +either because the contrast makes us more keenly susceptible, or rather +perhaps because our senses are then more open to impressions, and the +shock is consequently stronger. To this cause I must ascribe the fright +and shrieks of the ladies. One sagaciously sat down in a corner with +her back to the window, and held her fingers to her ears; a second knelt +down before her, and hid her face in her lap; a third threw herself +between them, and embraced her sister with a thousand tears; some +insisted on going home; others, unconscious of their actions, wanted +sufficient presence of mind to repress the impertinence of their young +partners, who sought to direct to themselves those sighs which the lips +of our agitated beauties intended for heaven. Some of the gentlemen had +gone down-stairs to smoke a quiet cigar, and the rest of the company +gladly embraced a happy suggestion of the hostess to retire into another +room which was provided with shutters and curtains. We had hardly got +there, when Charlotte placed the chairs in a circle; and, when the +company had sat down in compliance with her request, she forthwith +proposed a round game. + +I noticed some of the company prepare their mouths and draw themselves +up at the prospect of some agreeable forfeit. "Let us play at counting," +said Charlotte. "Now, pay attention: I shall go round the circle from +right to left; and each person is to count, one after the other, the +number that comes to him, and must count fast; whoever stops or +mistakes is to have a box on the ear, and so on, till we have counted a +thousand." It was delightful to see the fun. She went round the circle +with upraised arm. "One," said the first; "two," the second; "three," +the third; and so on, till Charlotte went faster and faster. One made a +mistake, instantly a box on the ear; and, amid the laughter that ensued, +came another box; and so on, faster and faster. I myself came in for +two. I fancied they were harder than the rest, and felt quite delighted. +A general laughter and confusion put an end to the game long before +we had counted as far as a thousand. The party broke up into little +separate knots: the storm had ceased, and I followed Charlotte into the +ballroom. On the way she said, "The game banished their fears of the +storm." I could make no reply. "I myself," she continued, "was as much +frightened as any of them; but by affecting courage, to keep up the +spirits of the others, I forgot my apprehensions." We went to the +window. It was still thundering at a distance: a soft rain was pouring +down over the country, and filled the air around us with delicious +odours. Charlotte leaned forward on her arm; her eyes wandered over the +scene; she raised them to the sky, and then turned them upon me; +they were moistened with tears; she placed her hand on mine and said, +"Klopstock!" at once I remembered the magnificent ode which was in her +thoughts: I felt oppressed with the weight of my sensations, and sank +under them. It was more than I could bear. I bent over her hand, kissed +it in a stream of delicious tears, and again looked up to her eyes. +Divine Klopstock! why didst thou not see thy apotheosis in those eyes? +And thy name so often profaned, would that I never heard it repeated! + +JUNE 19. + +I no longer remember where I stopped in my narrative: I only know it was +two in the morning when I went to bed; and if you had been with me, +that I might have talked instead of writing to you, I should, in all +probability, have kept you up till daylight. + +I think I have not yet related what happened as we rode home from +the ball, nor have I time to tell you now. It was a most magnificent +sunrise: the whole country was refreshed, and the rain fell drop by +drop from the trees in the forest. Our companions were asleep. Charlotte +asked me if I did not wish to sleep also, and begged of me not to make +any ceremony on her account. Looking steadfastly at her, I answered, "As +long as I see those eyes open, there is no fear of my falling asleep." +We both continued awake till we reached her door. The maid opened it +softly, and assured her, in answer to her inquiries, that her father and +the children were well, and still sleeping. I left her asking permission +to visit her in the course of the day. She consented, and I went, and, +since that time, sun, moon, and stars may pursue their course: I know +not whether it is day or night; the whole world is nothing to me. + +JUNE 21. + +My days are as happy as those reserved by God for his elect; and, +whatever be my fate hereafter, I can never say that I have not tasted +joy,—the purest joy of life. You know Walheim. I am now completely +settled there. In that spot I am only half a league from Charlotte; and +there I enjoy myself, and taste all the pleasure which can fall to the +lot of man. + +Little did I imagine, when I selected Walheim for my pedestrian +excursions, that all heaven lay so near it. How often in my wanderings +from the hillside or from the meadows across the river, have I beheld +this hunting-lodge, which now contains within it all the joy of my +heart! + +I have often, my dear Wilhelm, reflected on the eagerness men feel to +wander and make new discoveries, and upon that secret impulse which +afterward inclines them to return to their narrow circle, conform to +the laws of custom, and embarrass themselves no longer with what passes +around them. + +It is so strange how, when I came here first, and gazed upon that +lovely valley from the hillside, I felt charmed with the entire scene +surrounding me. The little wood opposite—how delightful to sit under +its shade! How fine the view from that point of rock! Then, that +delightful chain of hills, and the exquisite valleys at their feet! +Could I but wander and lose myself amongst them! I went, and returned +without finding what I wished. Distance, my friend, is like futurity. A +dim vastness is spread before our souls: the perceptions of our mind are +as obscure as those of our vision; and we desire earnestly to surrender +up our whole being, that it may be filled with the complete and perfect +bliss of one glorious emotion. But alas! when we have attained our +object, when the distant there becomes the present here, all is changed: +we are as poor and circumscribed as ever, and our souls still languish +for unattainable happiness. + +So does the restless traveller pant for his native soil, and find in his +own cottage, in the arms of his wife, in the affections of his children, +and in the labour necessary for their support, that happiness which he +had sought in vain through the wide world. + +When, in the morning at sunrise, I go out to Walheim, and with my own +hands gather in the garden the pease which are to serve for my dinner, +when I sit down to shell them, and read my Homer during the intervals, +and then, selecting a saucepan from the kitchen, fetch my own butter, +put my mess on the fire, cover it up, and sit down to stir it as +occasion requires, I figure to myself the illustrious suitors of +Penelope, killing, dressing, and preparing their own oxen and swine. +Nothing fills me with a more pure and genuine sense of happiness than +those traits of patriarchal life which, thank Heaven! I can imitate +without affectation. Happy is it, indeed, for me that my heart is +capable of feeling the same simple and innocent pleasure as the peasant +whose table is covered with food of his own rearing, and who not only +enjoys his meal, but remembers with delight the happy days and sunny +mornings when he planted it, the soft evenings when he watered it, and +the pleasure he experienced in watching its daily growth. + +JUNE 29. + +The day before yesterday, the physician came from the town to pay a +visit to the judge. He found me on the floor playing with Charlotte's +children. Some of them were scrambling over me, and others romped with +me; and, as I caught and tickled them, they made a great noise. The +doctor is a formal sort of personage: he adjusts the plaits of his +ruffles, and continually settles his frill whilst he is talking to you; +and he thought my conduct beneath the dignity of a sensible man. I could +perceive this by his countenance. But I did not suffer myself to be +disturbed. I allowed him to continue his wise conversation, whilst I +rebuilt the children's card houses for them as fast as they threw them +down. He went about the town afterward, complaining that the judge's +children were spoiled enough before, but that now Werther was completely +ruining them. + +Yes, my dear Wilhelm, nothing on this earth affects my heart so much +as children. When I look on at their doings; when I mark in the little +creatures the seeds of all those virtues and qualities which they will +one day find so indispensable; when I behold in the obstinate all the +future firmness and constancy of a noble character; in the capricious, +that levity and gaiety of temper which will carry them lightly over +the dangers and troubles of life, their whole nature simple and +unpolluted,—then I call to mind the golden words of the Great Teacher +of mankind, "Unless ye become like one of these!" And now, my friend, +these children, who are our equals, whom we ought to consider as our +models, we treat them as though they were our subjects. They are allowed +no will of their own. And have we, then, none ourselves? Whence comes +our exclusive right? Is it because we are older and more experienced? +Great God! from the height of thy heaven thou beholdest great children +and little children, and no others; and thy Son has long since declared +which afford thee greatest pleasure. But they believe in him, and hear +him not,—that, too, is an old story; and they train their children +after their own image, etc. + +Adieu, Wilhelm: I will not further bewilder myself with this subject. + +JULY 1. + +The consolation Charlotte can bring to an invalid I experience from my +own heart, which suffers more from her absence than many a poor creature +lingering on a bed of sickness. She is gone to spend a few days in the +town with a very worthy woman, who is given over by the physicians, and +wishes to have Charlotte near her in her last moments. I accompanied +her last week on a visit to the Vicar of S—, a small village in +the mountains, about a league hence. We arrived about four o'clock: +Charlotte had taken her little sister with her. When we entered the +vicarage court, we found the good old man sitting on a bench before +the door, under the shade of two large walnut-trees. At the sight +of Charlotte he seemed to gain new life, rose, forgot his stick, and +ventured to walk toward her. She ran to him, and made him sit down +again; then, placing herself by his side, she gave him a number of +messages from her father, and then caught up his youngest child, a +dirty, ugly little thing, the joy of his old age, and kissed it. I wish +you could have witnessed her attention to this old man,—how she raised +her voice on account of his deafness; how she told him of healthy young +people, who had been carried off when it was least expected; praised +the virtues of Carlsbad, and commended his determination to spend the +ensuing summer there; and assured him that he looked better and stronger +than he did when she saw him last. I, in the meantime, paid attention to +his good lady. The old man seemed quite in spirits; and as I could +not help admiring the beauty of the walnut-trees, which formed such +an agreeable shade over our heads, he began, though with some little +difficulty, to tell us their history. "As to the oldest," said he, "we +do not know who planted it,—some say one clergyman, and some another: +but the younger one, there behind us, is exactly the age of my wife, +fifty years old next October; her father planted it in the morning, +and in the evening she came into the world. My wife's father was my +predecessor here, and I cannot tell you how fond he was of that tree; +and it is fully as dear to me. Under the shade of that very tree, upon +a log of wood, my wife was seated knitting, when I, a poor student, came +into this court for the first time, just seven and twenty years ago." +Charlotte inquired for his daughter. He said she was gone with Herr +Schmidt to the meadows, and was with the haymakers. The old man then +resumed his story, and told us how his predecessor had taken a fancy +to him, as had his daughter likewise; and how he had become first his +curate, and subsequently his successor. He had scarcely finished his +story when his daughter returned through the garden, accompanied by the +above-mentioned Herr Schmidt. She welcomed Charlotte affectionately, +and I confess I was much taken with her appearance. She was a +lively-looking, good-humoured brunette, quite competent to amuse one for +a short time in the country. Her lover (for such Herr Schmidt evidently +appeared to be) was a polite, reserved personage, and would not join +our conversation, notwithstanding all Charlotte's endeavours to draw +him out. I was much annoyed at observing, by his countenance, that +his silence did not arise from want of talent, but from caprice and +ill-humour. This subsequently became very evident, when we set out to +take a walk, and Frederica joining Charlotte, with whom I was talking, +the worthy gentleman's face, which was naturally rather sombre, became +so dark and angry that Charlotte was obliged to touch my arm, and remind +me that I was talking too much to Frederica. Nothing distresses me more +than to see men torment each other; particularly when in the flower of +their age, in the very season of pleasure, they waste their few short +days of sunshine in quarrels and disputes, and only perceive their error +when it is too late to repair it. This thought dwelt upon my mind; and +in the evening, when we returned to the vicar's, and were sitting round +the table with our bread and milk, the conversation turned on the joys +and sorrows of the world, I could not resist the temptation to inveigh +bitterly against ill-humour. "We are apt," said I, "to complain, +but—with very little cause, that our happy days are few, and our evil +days many. If our hearts were always disposed to receive the benefits +Heaven sends us, we should acquire strength to support evil when it +comes." "But," observed the vicar's wife, "we cannot always command our +tempers, so much depends upon the constitution: when the body suffers, +the mind is ill at ease." "I acknowledge that," I continued; "but we +must consider such a disposition in the light of a disease, and inquire +whether there is no remedy for it." + +"I should be glad to hear one," said Charlotte: "at least, I think very +much depends upon ourselves; I know it is so with me. When anything +annoys me, and disturbs my temper, I hasten into the garden, hum a +couple of country dances, and it is all right with me directly." "That +is what I meant," I replied; "ill-humour resembles indolence: it is +natural to us; but if once we have courage to exert ourselves, we find +our work run fresh from our hands, and we experience in the activity +from which we shrank a real enjoyment." Frederica listened very +attentively: and the young man objected, that we were not masters of +ourselves, and still less so of our feelings. "The question is about a +disagreeable feeling," I added, "from which every one would willingly +escape, but none know their own power without trial. Invalids are glad +to consult physicians, and submit to the most scrupulous regimen, the +most nauseous medicines, in order to recover their health." I observed +that the good old man inclined his head, and exerted himself to hear our +discourse; so I raised my voice, and addressed myself directly to +him. "We preach against a great many crimes," I observed, "but I never +remember a sermon delivered against ill-humour." "That may do very +well for your town clergymen," said he: "country people are never +ill-humoured; though, indeed, it might be useful, occasionally, to my +wife for instance, and the judge." We all laughed, as did he likewise +very cordially, till he fell into a fit of coughing, which interrupted +our conversation for a time. Herr Schmidt resumed the subject. "You +call ill humour a crime," he remarked, "but I think you use too strong +a term." "Not at all," I replied, "if that deserves the name which is +so pernicious to ourselves and our neighbours. Is it not enough that we +want the power to make one another happy, must we deprive each other of +the pleasure which we can all make for ourselves? Show me the man who +has the courage to hide his ill-humour, who bears the whole burden +himself, without disturbing the peace of those around him. No: +ill-humour arises from an inward consciousness of our own want of merit, +from a discontent which ever accompanies that envy which foolish vanity +engenders. We see people happy, whom we have not made so, and cannot +endure the sight." Charlotte looked at me with a smile; she observed +the emotion with which I spoke: and a tear in the eyes of Frederica +stimulated me to proceed. "Woe unto those," I said, "who use their power +over a human heart to destroy the simple pleasures it would naturally +enjoy! All the favours, all the attentions, in the world cannot +compensate for the loss of that happiness which a cruel tyranny has +destroyed." My heart was full as I spoke. A recollection of many things +which had happened pressed upon my mind, and filled my eyes with tears. +"We should daily repeat to ourselves," I exclaimed, "that we should not +interfere with our friends, unless to leave them in possession of their +own joys, and increase their happiness by sharing it with them! But when +their souls are tormented by a violent passion, or their hearts +rent with grief, is it in your power to afford them the slightest +consolation? + +"And when the last fatal malady seizes the being whose untimely grave +you have prepared, when she lies languid and exhausted before you, her +dim eyes raised to heaven, and the damp of death upon her pallid brow, +there you stand at her bedside like a condemned criminal, with the +bitter feeling that your whole fortune could not save her; and the +agonising thought wrings you, that all your efforts are powerless to +impart even a moment's strength to the departing soul, or quicken her +with a transitory consolation." + +At these words the remembrance of a similar scene at which I had been +once present fell with full force upon my heart. I buried my face in my +handkerchief, and hastened from the room, and was only recalled to my +recollection by Charlotte's voice, who reminded me that it was time to +return home. With what tenderness she chid me on the way for the too +eager interest I took in everything! She declared it would do me injury, +and that I ought to spare myself. Yes, my angel! I will do so for your +sake. + +JULY 6. + +She is still with her dying friend, and is still the same bright, +beautiful creature whose presence softens pain, and sheds happiness +around whichever way she turns. She went out yesterday with her little +sisters: I knew it, and went to meet them; and we walked together. In +about an hour and a half we returned to the town. We stopped at the +spring I am so fond of, and which is now a thousand times dearer to me +than ever. Charlotte seated herself upon the low wall, and we gathered +about her. I looked around, and recalled the time when my heart was +unoccupied and free. "Dear fountain!" I said, "since that time I have no +more come to enjoy cool repose by thy fresh stream: I have passed thee +with careless steps, and scarcely bestowed a glance upon thee." I looked +down, and observed Charlotte's little sister, Jane, coming up the +steps with a glass of water. I turned toward Charlotte, and I felt her +influence over me. Jane at the moment approached with the glass. Her +sister, Marianne, wished to take it from her. "No!" cried the child, +with the sweetest expression of face, "Charlotte must drink first." + +The affection and simplicity with which this was uttered so charmed +me, that I sought to express my feelings by catching up the child and +kissing her heartily. She was frightened, and began to cry. "You should +not do that," said Charlotte: I felt perplexed. "Come, Jane," she +continued, taking her hand, and leading her down the steps again, "it +is no matter: wash yourself quickly in the fresh water." I stood and +watched them; and when I saw the little dear rubbing her cheeks with +her wet hands, in full belief that all the impurities contracted from my +ugly beard would be washed off by the miraculous water, and how, though +Charlotte said it would do, she continued still to wash with all her +might, as though she thought too much were better than too little, I +assure you, Wilhelm, I never attended a baptism with greater reverence; +and, when Charlotte came up from the well, I could have prostrated +myself as before the prophet of an Eastern nation. + +In the evening I would not resist telling the story to a person who, +I thought, possessed some natural feeling, because he was a man of +understanding. But what a mistake I made. He maintained it was very +wrong of Charlotte, that we should not deceive children, that such +things occasioned countless mistakes and superstitions, from which we +were bound to protect the young. It occurred to me then, that this very +man had been baptised only a week before; so I said nothing further, +but maintained the justice of my own convictions. We should deal with +children as God deals with us, we are happiest under the influence of +innocent delusions. + +JULY 8. + +What a child is man that he should be so solicitous about a look! What a +child is man! We had been to Walheim: the ladies went in a carriage; +but during our walk I thought I saw in Charlotte's dark eyes—I am a +fool—but forgive me! you should see them,—those eyes.—However, to be +brief (for my own eyes are weighed down with sleep), you must know, +when the ladies stepped into their carriage again, young W. Seldstadt, +Andran, and I were standing about the door. They are a merry set of +fellows, and they were all laughing and joking together. I watched +Charlotte's eyes. They wandered from one to the other; but they did not +light on me, on me, who stood there motionless, and who saw nothing but +her! My heart bade her a thousand times adieu, but she noticed me not. +The carriage drove off; and my eyes filled with tears. I looked after +her: suddenly I saw Charlotte's bonnet leaning out of the window, and +she turned to look back, was it at me? My dear friend, I know not; and +in this uncertainty I find consolation. Perhaps she turned to look at +me. Perhaps! Good-night—what a child I am! + +JULY 10. + +You should see how foolish I look in company when her name is mentioned, +particularly when I am asked plainly how I like her. How I like her! +I detest the phrase. What sort of creature must he be who merely liked +Charlotte, whose whole heart and senses were not entirely absorbed by +her. Like her! Some one asked me lately how I liked Ossian. + +JULY 11. + +Madame M— is very ill. I pray for her recovery, because Charlotte +shares my sufferings. I see her occasionally at my friend's house, +and to-day she has told me the strangest circumstance. Old M— is a +covetous, miserly fellow, who has long worried and annoyed the poor +lady sadly; but she has borne her afflictions patiently. A few days +ago, when the physician informed us that her recovery was hopeless, she +sent for her husband (Charlotte was present), and addressed him thus: +"I have something to confess, which, after my decease, may occasion +trouble and confusion. I have hitherto conducted your household as +frugally and economically as possible, but you must pardon me for +having defrauded you for thirty years. At the commencement of our +married life, you allowed a small sum for the wants of the kitchen, and +the other household expenses. When our establishment increased and our +property grew larger, I could not persuade you to increase the weekly +allowance in proportion: in short, you know, that, when our wants were +greatest, you required me to supply everything with seven florins a +week. I took the money from you without an observation, but made up +the weekly deficiency from the money-chest; as nobody would suspect +your wife of robbing the household bank. But I have wasted nothing, +and should have been content to meet my eternal Judge without this +confession, if she, upon whom the management of your establishment +will devolve after my decease, would be free from embarrassment upon +your insisting that the allowance made to me, your former wife, was +sufficient." + +I talked with Charlotte of the inconceivable manner in which men allow +themselves to be blinded; how any one could avoid suspecting some +deception, when seven florins only were allowed to defray expenses +twice as great. But I have myself known people who believed, without +any visible astonishment, that their house possessed the prophet's +never-failing cruse of oil. + +JULY 13. + +No, I am not deceived. In her dark eyes I read a genuine interest in me +and in my fortunes. Yes, I feel it; and I may believe my own heart which +tells me—dare I say it?—dare I pronounce the divine words?—that she +loves me! + +That she loves me! How the idea exalts me in my own eyes! And, as you +can understand my feelings, I may say to you, how I honour myself since +she loves me! + +Is this presumption, or is it a consciousness of the truth? I do not +know a man able to supplant me in the heart of Charlotte; and yet when +she speaks of her betrothed with so much warmth and affection, I feel +like the soldier who has been stripped of his honours and titles, and +deprived of his sword. + +JULY 16. + +How my heart beats when by accident I touch her finger, or my feet meet +hers under the table! I draw back as if from a furnace; but a secret +force impels me forward again, and my senses become disordered. +Her innocent, unconscious heart never knows what agony these little +familiarities inflict upon me. Sometimes when we are talking she lays +her hand upon mine, and in the eagerness of conversation comes closer to +me, and her balmy breath reaches my lips,—when I feel as if lightning +had struck me, and that I could sink into the earth. And yet, Wilhelm, +with all this heavenly confidence,—if I know myself, and should ever +dare—you understand me. No, no! my heart is not so corrupt, it is weak, +weak enough but is not that a degree of corruption? + +She is to me a sacred being. All passion is still in her presence: I +cannot express my sensations when I am near her. I feel as if my soul +beat in every nerve of my body. There is a melody which she plays on the +piano with angelic skill,—so simple is it, and yet so spiritual! It is +her favourite air; and, when she plays the first note, all pain, care, +and sorrow disappear from me in a moment. + +I believe every word that is said of the magic of ancient music. How her +simple song enchants me! Sometimes, when I am ready to commit suicide, +she sings that air; and instantly the gloom and madness which hung over +me are dispersed, and I breathe freely again. + +JULY 18. + +Wilhelm, what is the world to our hearts without love? What is a +magic-lantern without light? You have but to kindle the flame within, +and the brightest figures shine on the white wall; and, if love only +show us fleeting shadows, we are yet happy, when, like mere children, we +behold them, and are transported with the splendid phantoms. I have not +been able to see Charlotte to-day. I was prevented by company from which +I could not disengage myself. What was to be done? I sent my servant to +her house, that I might at least see somebody to-day who had been near +her. Oh, the impatience with which I waited for his return! the joy with +which I welcomed him! I should certainly have caught him in my arms, and +kissed him, if I had not been ashamed. + +It is said that the Bonona stone, when placed in the sun, attracts the +rays, and for a time appears luminous in the dark. So was it with me +and this servant. The idea that Charlotte's eyes had dwelt on his +countenance, his cheek, his very apparel, endeared them all inestimably +to me, so that at the moment I would not have parted from him for a +thousand crowns. His presence made me so happy! Beware of laughing at +me, Wilhelm. Can that be a delusion which makes us happy? + +JULY 19. + +"I shall see her today!" I exclaim with delight, when I rise in the +morning, and look out with gladness of heart at the bright, beautiful +sun. "I shall see her today!" And then I have no further wish to form: +all, all is included in that one thought. + +JULY 20. + +I cannot assent to your proposal that I should accompany the ambassador +to ———. I do not love subordination; and we all know that he is +a rough, disagreeable person to be connected with. You say my mother +wishes me to be employed. I could not help laughing at that. Am I not +sufficiently employed? And is it not in reality the same, whether +I shell peas or count lentils? The world runs on from one folly to +another; and the man who, solely from regard to the opinion of others, +and without any wish or necessity of his own, toils after gold, honour, +or any other phantom, is no better than a fool. + +JULY 24. + +You insist so much on my not neglecting my drawing, that it would be as +well for me to say nothing as to confess how little I have lately done. + +I never felt happier, I never understood nature better, even down to the +veriest stem or smallest blade of grass; and yet I am unable to express +myself: my powers of execution are so weak, everything seems to swim +and float before me, so that I cannot make a clear, bold outline. But +I fancy I should succeed better if I had some clay or wax to model. I +shall try, if this state of mind continues much longer, and will take to +modelling, if I only knead dough. + +I have commenced Charlotte's portrait three times, and have as often +disgraced myself. This is the more annoying, as I was formerly very +happy in taking likenesses. I have since sketched her profile, and must +content myself with that. + +JULY 25. + +Yes, dear Charlotte! I will order and arrange everything. Only give +me more commissions, the more the better. One thing, however, I must +request: use no more writing-sand with the dear notes you send me. Today +I raised your letter hastily to my lips, and it set my teeth on edge. + +JULY 26. + +I have often determined not to see her so frequently. But who could keep +such a resolution? Every day I am exposed to the temptation, and promise +faithfully that to-morrow I will really stay away: but, when tomorrow +comes, I find some irresistible reason for seeing her; and, before I can +account for it, I am with her again. Either she has said on the previous +evening "You will be sure to call to-morrow,"—and who could stay away +then?—or she gives me some commission, and I find it essential to take +her the answer in person; or the day is fine, and I walk to Walheim; +and, when I am there, it is only half a league farther to her. I am +within the charmed atmosphere, and soon find myself at her side. My +grandmother used to tell us a story of a mountain of loadstone. When any +vessels came near it, they were instantly deprived of their ironwork: +the nails flew to the mountain, and the unhappy crew perished amidst the +disjointed planks. + +JULY 30. + +Albert is arrived, and I must take my departure. Were he the best and +noblest of men, and I in every respect his inferior, I could not endure +to see him in possession of such a perfect being. Possession!—enough, +Wilhelm: her betrothed is here,—a fine, worthy fellow, whom one cannot +help liking. Fortunately I was not present at their meeting. It would +have broken my heart! And he is so considerate: he has not given +Charlotte one kiss in my presence. Heaven reward him for it! I must love +him for the respect with which he treats her. He shows a regard for me, +but for this I suspect I am more indebted to Charlotte than to his own +fancy for me. Women have a delicate tact in such matters, and it should +be so. They cannot always succeed in keeping two rivals on terms with +each other; but, when they do, they are the only gainers. + +I cannot help esteeming Albert. The coolness of his temper contrasts +strongly with the impetuosity of mine, which I cannot conceal. He has +a great deal of feeling, and is fully sensible of the treasure he +possesses in Charlotte. He is free from ill-humour, which you know is +the fault I detest most. + +He regards me as a man of sense; and my attachment to Charlotte, and the +interest I take in all that concerns her, augment his triumph and his +love. I shall not inquire whether he may not at times tease her with +some little jealousies; as I know, that, were I in his place, I should +not be entirely free from such sensations. + +But, be that as it may, my pleasure with Charlotte is over. Call it +folly or infatuation, what signifies a name? The thing speaks for +itself. Before Albert came, I knew all that I know now. I knew I could +make no pretensions to her, nor did I offer any, that is, as far as it +was possible, in the presence of so much loveliness, not to pant for +its enjoyment. And now, behold me like a silly fellow, staring with +astonishment when another comes in, and deprives me of my love. + +I bite my lips, and feel infinite scorn for those who tell me to be +resigned, because there is no help for it. Let me escape from the yoke +of such silly subterfuges! I ramble through the woods; and when I return +to Charlotte, and find Albert sitting by her side in the summer-house +in the garden, I am unable to bear it, behave like a fool, and commit a +thousand extravagances. "For Heaven's sake," said Charlotte today, "let +us have no more scenes like those of last night! You terrify me when you +are so violent." Between ourselves, I am always away now when he visits +her: and I feel delighted when I find her alone. + +AUGUST 8. + +Believe me, dear Wilhelm, I did not allude to you when I spoke so +severely of those who advise resignation to inevitable fate. I did not +think it possible for you to indulge such a sentiment. But in fact you +are right. I only suggest one objection. In this world one is seldom +reduced to make a selection between two alternatives. There are as many +varieties of conduct and opinion as there are turns of feature between +an aquiline nose and a flat one. + +You will, therefore, permit me to concede your entire argument, and yet +contrive means to escape your dilemma. + +Your position is this, I hear you say: "Either you have hopes of +obtaining Charlotte, or you have none. Well, in the first case, pursue +your course, and press on to the fulfilment of your wishes. In the +second, be a man, and shake off a miserable passion, which will enervate +and destroy you." My dear friend, this is well and easily said. + +But would you require a wretched being, whose life is slowly wasting +under a lingering disease, to despatch himself at once by the stroke of +a dagger? Does not the very disorder which consumes his strength deprive +him of the courage to effect his deliverance? + +You may answer me, if you please, with a similar analogy, "Who would +not prefer the amputation of an arm to the periling of life by doubt and +procrastination!" But I know not if I am right, and let us leave these +comparisons. + +Enough! There are moments, Wilhelm, when I could rise up and shake it +all off, and when, if I only knew where to go, I could fly from this +place. + +THE SAME EVENING. + +My diary, which I have for some time neglected, came before me today; +and I am amazed to see how deliberately I have entangled myself step by +step. To have seen my position so clearly, and yet to have acted so like +a child! Even still I behold the result plainly, and yet have no thought +of acting with greater prudence. + +AUGUST 10. + +If I were not a fool, I could spend the happiest and most delightful +life here. So many agreeable circumstances, and of a kind to ensure +a worthy man's happiness, are seldom united. Alas! I feel it too +sensibly,—the heart alone makes our happiness! To be admitted into +this most charming family, to be loved by the father as a son, by the +children as a father, and by Charlotte! then the noble Albert, who never +disturbs my happiness by any appearance of ill-humour, receiving me with +the heartiest affection, and loving me, next to Charlotte, better +than all the world! Wilhelm, you would be delighted to hear us in our +rambles, and conversations about Charlotte. Nothing in the world can be +more absurd than our connection, and yet the thought of it often moves +me to tears. + +He tells me sometimes of her excellent mother; how, upon her death-bed, +she had committed her house and children to Charlotte, and had given +Charlotte herself in charge to him; how, since that time, a new spirit +had taken possession of her; how, in care and anxiety for their welfare, +she became a real mother to them; how every moment of her time was +devoted to some labour of love in their behalf,—and yet her mirth and +cheerfulness had never forsaken her. I walk by his side, pluck flowers +by the way, arrange them carefully into a nosegay, then fling them into +the first stream I pass, and watch them as they float gently away. I +forget whether I told you that Albert is to remain here. He has received +a government appointment, with a very good salary; and I understand +he is in high favour at court. I have met few persons so punctual and +methodical in business. + +AUGUST 12. + +Certainly Albert is the best fellow in the world. I had a strange scene +with him yesterday. I went to take leave of him; for I took it into my +head to spend a few days in these mountains, from where I now write +to you. As I was walking up and down his room, my eye fell upon his +pistols. "Lend me those pistols," said I, "for my journey." "By all +means," he replied, "if you will take the trouble to load them; for they +only hang there for form." I took down one of them; and he continued, +"Ever since I was near suffering for my extreme caution, I will have +nothing to do with such things." I was curious to hear the story. "I was +staying," said he, "some three months ago, at a friend's house in the +country. I had a brace of pistols with me, unloaded; and I slept without +any anxiety. One rainy afternoon I was sitting by myself, doing nothing, +when it occurred to me I do not know how that the house might be +attacked, that we might require the pistols, that we might in short, you +know how we go on fancying, when we have nothing better to do. I gave +the pistols to the servant, to clean and load. He was playing with the +maid, and trying to frighten her, when the pistol went off—God knows +how!—the ramrod was in the barrel; and it went straight through +her right hand, and shattered the thumb. I had to endure all the +lamentation, and to pay the surgeon's bill; so, since that time, I have +kept all my weapons unloaded. But, my dear friend, what is the use of +prudence? We can never be on our guard against all possible dangers. +However,"—now, you must know I can tolerate all men till they come to +"however;"—for it is self-evident that every universal rule must have +its exceptions. But he is so exceedingly accurate, that, if he only +fancies he has said a word too precipitate, or too general, or only half +true, he never ceases to qualify, to modify, and extenuate, till at last +he appears to have said nothing at all. Upon this occasion, Albert was +deeply immersed in his subject: I ceased to listen to him, and became +lost in reverie. With a sudden motion, I pointed the mouth of the pistol +to my forehead, over the right eye. "What do you mean?" cried Albert, +turning back the pistol. "It is not loaded," said I. "And even if not," +he answered with impatience, "what can you mean? I cannot comprehend how +a man can be so mad as to shoot himself, and the bare idea of it shocks +me." + +"But why should any one," said I, "in speaking of an action, venture +to pronounce it mad or wise, or good or bad? What is the meaning of all +this? Have you carefully studied the secret motives of our actions? Do +you understand—can you explain the causes which occasion them, and make +them inevitable? If you can, you will be less hasty with your decision." + +"But you will allow," said Albert; "that some actions are criminal, let +them spring from whatever motives they may." I granted it, and shrugged +my shoulders. + +"But still, my good friend," I continued, "there are some exceptions +here too. Theft is a crime; but the man who commits it from extreme +poverty, with no design but to save his family from perishing, is he an +object of pity, or of punishment? Who shall throw the first stone at a +husband, who, in the heat of just resentment, sacrifices his faithless +wife and her perfidious seducer? or at the young maiden, who, in her +weak hour of rapture, forgets herself in the impetuous joys of love? +Even our laws, cold and cruel as they are, relent in such cases, and +withhold their punishment." + +"That is quite another thing," said Albert; "because a man under the +influence of violent passion loses all power of reflection, and is +regarded as intoxicated or insane." + +"Oh! you people of sound understandings," I replied, smiling, "are ever +ready to exclaim 'Extravagance, and madness, and intoxication!' You +moral men are so calm and so subdued! You abhor the drunken man, and +detest the extravagant; you pass by, like the Levite, and thank God, +like the Pharisee, that you are not like one of them. I have been more +than once intoxicated, my passions have always bordered on extravagance: +I am not ashamed to confess it; for I have learned, by my own +experience, that all extraordinary men, who have accomplished great and +astonishing actions, have ever been decried by the world as drunken or +insane. And in private life, too, is it not intolerable that no one can +undertake the execution of a noble or generous deed, without giving rise +to the exclamation that the doer is intoxicated or mad? Shame upon you, +ye sages!" + +"This is another of your extravagant humours," said Albert: "you always +exaggerate a case, and in this matter you are undoubtedly wrong; for we +were speaking of suicide, which you compare with great actions, when it +is impossible to regard it as anything but a weakness. It is much easier +to die than to bear a life of misery with fortitude." + +I was on the point of breaking off the conversation, for nothing puts me +so completely out of patience as the utterance of a wretched commonplace +when I am talking from my inmost heart. However, I composed myself, for +I had often heard the same observation with sufficient vexation; and +I answered him, therefore, with a little warmth, "You call this a +weakness—beware of being led astray by appearances. When a nation, +which has long groaned under the intolerable yoke of a tyrant, rises at +last and throws off its chains, do you call that weakness? The man +who, to rescue his house from the flames, finds his physical strength +redoubled, so that he lifts burdens with ease, which, in the absence of +excitement, he could scarcely move; he who, under the rage of an insult, +attacks and puts to flight half a score of his enemies, are such persons +to be called weak? My good friend, if resistance be strength, how can +the highest degree of resistance be a weakness?" + +Albert looked steadfastly at me, and said, "Pray forgive me, but I do +not see that the examples you have adduced bear any relation to the +question." "Very likely," I answered; "for I have often been told that +my style of illustration borders a little on the absurd. But let us see +if we cannot place the matter in another point of view, by inquiring +what can be a man's state of mind who resolves to free himself from +the burden of life,—a burden often so pleasant to bear,—for we cannot +otherwise reason fairly upon the subject. + +"Human nature," I continued, "has its limits. It is able to endure a +certain degree of joy, sorrow, and pain, but becomes annihilated as soon +as this measure is exceeded. The question, therefore, is, not whether a +man is strong or weak, but whether he is able to endure the measure +of his sufferings. The suffering may be moral or physical; and in +my opinion it is just as absurd to call a man a coward who destroys +himself, as to call a man a coward who dies of a malignant fever." + +"Paradox, all paradox!" exclaimed Albert. "Not so paradoxical as you +imagine," I replied. "You allow that we designate a disease as mortal +when nature is so severely attacked, and her strength so far exhausted, +that she cannot possibly recover her former condition under any change +that may take place. + +"Now, my good friend, apply this to the mind; observe a man in +his natural, isolated condition; consider how ideas work, and how +impressions fasten on him, till at length a violent passion seizes him, +destroying all his powers of calm reflection, and utterly ruining him. + +"It is in vain that a man of sound mind and cool temper understands the +condition of such a wretched being, in vain he counsels him. He can no +more communicate his own wisdom to him than a healthy man can instil his +strength into the invalid, by whose bedside he is seated." + +Albert thought this too general. I reminded him of a girl who had +drowned herself a short time previously, and I related her history. + +She was a good creature, who had grown up in the narrow sphere of +household industry and weekly appointed labour; one who knew no pleasure +beyond indulging in a walk on Sundays, arrayed in her best attire, +accompanied by her friends, or perhaps joining in the dance now and then +at some festival, and chatting away her spare hours with a neighbour, +discussing the scandal or the quarrels of the village, trifles +sufficient to occupy her heart. At length the warmth of her nature is +influenced by certain new and unknown wishes. Inflamed by the flatteries +of men, her former pleasures become by degrees insipid, till at length +she meets with a youth to whom she is attracted by an indescribable +feeling; upon him she now rests all her hopes; she forgets the world +around her; she sees, hears, desires nothing but him, and him only. He +alone occupies all her thoughts. Uncorrupted by the idle indulgence of +an enervating vanity, her affection moving steadily toward its object, +she hopes to become his, and to realise, in an everlasting union with +him, all that happiness which she sought, all that bliss for which +she longed. His repeated promises confirm her hopes: embraces and +endearments, which increase the ardour of her desires, overmaster her +soul. She floats in a dim, delusive anticipation of her happiness; and +her feelings become excited to their utmost tension. She stretches out +her arms finally to embrace the object of all her wishes and her lover +forsakes her. Stunned and bewildered, she stands upon a precipice. All +is darkness around her. No prospect, no hope, no consolation—forsaken +by him in whom her existence was centred! She sees nothing of the wide +world before her, thinks nothing of the many individuals who might +supply the void in her heart; she feels herself deserted, forsaken by +the world; and, blinded and impelled by the agony which wrings her soul, +she plunges into the deep, to end her sufferings in the broad embrace of +death. See here, Albert, the history of thousands; and tell me, is not +this a case of physical infirmity? Nature has no way to escape from the +labyrinth: her powers are exhausted: she can contend no longer, and the +poor soul must die. + +"Shame upon him who can look on calmly, and exclaim, 'The foolish girl! +she should have waited; she should have allowed time to wear off the +impression; her despair would have been softened, and she would have +found another lover to comfort her.' One might as well say, 'The fool, +to die of a fever! why did he not wait till his strength was restored, +till his blood became calm? all would then have gone well, and he would +have been alive now.'" + +Albert, who could not see the justice of the comparison, offered some +further objections, and, amongst others, urged that I had taken the +case of a mere ignorant girl. But how any man of sense, of more enlarged +views and experience, could be excused, he was unable to comprehend. "My +friend!" I exclaimed, "man is but man; and, whatever be the extent +of his reasoning powers, they are of little avail when passion rages +within, and he feels himself confined by the narrow limits of nature. +It were better, then—but we will talk of this some other time," I said, +and caught up my hat. Alas! my heart was full; and we parted without +conviction on either side. How rarely in this world do men understand +each other! + +AUGUST 15. + +There can be no doubt that in this world nothing is so indispensable as +love. I observe that Charlotte could not lose me without a pang, and the +very children have but one wish; that is, that I should visit them again +to-morrow. I went this afternoon to tune Charlotte's piano. But I could +not do it, for the little ones insisted on my telling them a story; and +Charlotte herself urged me to satisfy them. I waited upon them at tea, +and they are now as fully contented with me as with Charlotte; and +I told them my very best tale of the princess who was waited upon by +dwarfs. I improve myself by this exercise, and am quite surprised at the +impression my stories create. If I sometimes invent an incident which I +forget upon the next narration, they remind one directly that the story +was different before; so that I now endeavour to relate with exactness +the same anecdote in the same monotonous tone, which never changes. I +find by this, how much an author injures his works by altering them, +even though they be improved in a poetical point of view. The first +impression is readily received. We are so constituted that we believe +the most incredible things; and, once they are engraved upon the memory, +woe to him who would endeavour to efface them. + +AUGUST 18. + +Must it ever be thus,—that the source of our happiness must also be the +fountain of our misery? The full and ardent sentiment which animated +my heart with the love of nature, overwhelming me with a torrent of +delight, and which brought all paradise before me, has now become an +insupportable torment, a demon which perpetually pursues and harasses +me. When in bygone days I gazed from these rocks upon yonder mountains +across the river, and upon the green, flowery valley before me, and saw +all nature budding and bursting around; the hills clothed from foot +to peak with tall, thick forest trees; the valleys in all their varied +windings, shaded with the loveliest woods; and the soft river gliding +along amongst the lisping reeds, mirroring the beautiful clouds which +the soft evening breeze wafted across the sky,—when I heard the groves +about me melodious with the music of birds, and saw the million swarms +of insects dancing in the last golden beams of the sun, whose setting +rays awoke the humming beetles from their grassy beds, whilst the +subdued tumult around directed my attention to the ground, and I there +observed the arid rock compelled to yield nutriment to the dry moss, +whilst the heath flourished upon the barren sands below me, all this +displayed to me the inner warmth which animates all nature, and filled +and glowed within my heart. I felt myself exalted by this overflowing +fulness to the perception of the Godhead, and the glorious forms of +an infinite universe became visible to my soul! Stupendous mountains +encompassed me, abysses yawned at my feet, and cataracts fell headlong +down before me; impetuous rivers rolled through the plain, and rocks +and mountains resounded from afar. In the depths of the earth I saw +innumerable powers in motion, and multiplying to infinity; whilst +upon its surface, and beneath the heavens, there teemed ten thousand +varieties of living creatures. Everything around is alive with an +infinite number of forms; while mankind fly for security to their petty +houses, from the shelter of which they rule in their imaginations over +the wide-extended universe. Poor fool! in whose petty estimation all +things are little. From the inaccessible mountains, across the desert +which no mortal foot has trod, far as the confines of the unknown ocean, +breathes the spirit of the eternal Creator; and every atom to which he +has given existence finds favour in his sight. Ah, how often at that +time has the flight of a bird, soaring above my head, inspired me +with the desire of being transported to the shores of the immeasurable +waters, there to quaff the pleasures of life from the foaming goblet +of the Infinite, and to partake, if but for a moment even, with +the confined powers of my soul, the beatitude of that Creator who +accomplishes all things in himself, and through himself! + +My dear friend, the bare recollection of those hours still consoles me. +Even this effort to recall those ineffable sensations, and give them +utterance, exalts my soul above itself, and makes me doubly feel the +intensity of my present anguish. + +It is as if a curtain had been drawn from before my eyes, and, instead +of prospects of eternal life, the abyss of an ever open grave yawned +before me. Can we say of anything that it exists when all passes away, +when time, with the speed of a storm, carries all things onward,—and +our transitory existence, hurried along by the torrent, is either +swallowed up by the waves or dashed against the rocks? There is not a +moment but preys upon you,—and upon all around you, not a moment in +which you do not yourself become a destroyer. The most innocent walk +deprives of life thousands of poor insects: one step destroys the fabric +of the industrious ant, and converts a little world into chaos. No: +it is not the great and rare calamities of the world, the floods which +sweep away whole villages, the earthquakes which swallow up our towns, +that affect me. My heart is wasted by the thought of that destructive +power which lies concealed in every part of universal nature. Nature has +formed nothing that does not consume itself, and every object near +it: so that, surrounded by earth and air, and all the active powers, I +wander on my way with aching heart; and the universe is to me a fearful +monster, for ever devouring its own offspring. + +AUGUST 21. + +In vain do I stretch out my arms toward her when I awaken in the morning +from my weary slumbers. In vain do I seek for her at night in my bed, +when some innocent dream has happily deceived me, and placed her near me +in the fields, when I have seized her hand and covered it with countless +kisses. And when I feel for her in the half confusion of sleep, with the +happy sense that she is near, tears flow from my oppressed heart; and, +bereft of all comfort, I weep over my future woes. + +AUGUST 22. + +What a misfortune, Wilhelm! My active spirits have degenerated into +contented indolence. I cannot be idle, and yet I am unable to set to +work. I cannot think: I have no longer any feeling for the beauties of +nature, and books are distasteful to me. Once we give ourselves up, we +are totally lost. Many a time and oft I wish I were a common labourer; +that, awakening in the morning, I might have but one prospect, one +pursuit, one hope, for the day which has dawned. I often envy Albert +when I see him buried in a heap of papers and parchments, and I fancy I +should be happy were I in his place. Often impressed with this feeling +I have been on the point of writing to you and to the minister, for the +appointment at the embassy, which you think I might obtain. I believe I +might procure it. The minister has long shown a regard for me, and has +frequently urged me to seek employment. It is the business of an +hour only. Now and then the fable of the horse recurs to me. Weary of +liberty, he suffered himself to be saddled and bridled, and was ridden +to death for his pains. I know not what to determine upon. For is not +this anxiety for change the consequence of that restless spirit which +would pursue me equally in every situation of life? + +AUGUST 28. + +If my ills would admit of any cure, they would certainly be cured here. +This is my birthday, and early in the morning I received a packet from +Albert. Upon opening it, I found one of the pink ribbons which Charlotte +wore in her dress the first time I saw her, and which I had several +times asked her to give me. With it were two volumes in duodecimo +of Wetstein's "Homer," a book I had often wished for, to save me the +inconvenience of carrying the large Ernestine edition with me upon my +walks. You see how they anticipate my wishes, how well they understand +all those little attentions of friendship, so superior to the costly +presents of the great, which are humiliating. I kissed the ribbon a +thousand times, and in every breath inhaled the remembrance of those +happy and irrevocable days which filled me with the keenest joy. Such, +Wilhelm, is our fate. I do not murmur at it: the flowers of life are but +visionary. How many pass away, and leave no trace behind—how few yield +any fruit—and the fruit itself, how rarely does it ripen! And yet there +are flowers enough! and is it not strange, my friend, that we should +suffer the little that does really ripen, to rot, decay, and perish +unenjoyed? Farewell! This is a glorious summer. I often climb into the +trees in Charlotte's orchard, and shake down the pears that hang on the +highest branches. She stands below, and catches them as they fall. + +AUGUST 30. + +Unhappy being that I am! Why do I thus deceive myself? What is to come +of all this wild, aimless, endless passion? I cannot pray except to her. +My imagination sees nothing but her: all surrounding objects are of no +account, except as they relate to her. In this dreamy state I enjoy many +happy hours, till at length I feel compelled to tear myself away from +her. Ah, Wilhelm, to what does not my heart often compel me! When I have +spent several hours in her company, till I feel completely absorbed by +her figure, her grace, the divine expression of her thoughts, my mind +becomes gradually excited to the highest excess, my sight grows dim, +my hearing confused, my breathing oppressed as if by the hand of a +murderer, and my beating heart seeks to obtain relief for my aching +senses. I am sometimes unconscious whether I really exist. If in such +moments I find no sympathy, and Charlotte does not allow me to enjoy +the melancholy consolation of bathing her hand with my tears, I feel +compelled to tear myself from her, when I either wander through the +country, climb some precipitous cliff, or force a path through the +trackless thicket, where I am lacerated and torn by thorns and briers; +and thence I find relief. Sometimes I lie stretched on the ground, +overcome with fatigue and dying with thirst; sometimes, late in the +night, when the moon shines above me, I recline against an aged tree +in some sequestered forest, to rest my weary limbs, when, exhausted +and worn, I sleep till break of day. O Wilhelm! the hermit's cell, his +sackcloth, and girdle of thorns would be luxury and indulgence compared +with what I suffer. Adieu! I see no end to this wretchedness except the +grave. + +SEPTEMBER 3. + +I must away. Thank you, Wilhelm, for determining my wavering purpose. +For a whole fortnight I have thought of leaving her. I must away. +She has returned to town, and is at the house of a friend. And then, +Albert—yes, I must go. + +SEPTEMBER 10. + +Oh, what a night, Wilhelm! I can henceforth bear anything. I shall never +see her again. Oh, why cannot I fall on your neck, and, with floods of +tears and raptures, give utterance to all the passions which distract my +heart! Here I sit gasping for breath, and struggling to compose myself. +I wait for day, and at sunrise the horses are to be at the door. + +And she is sleeping calmly, little suspecting that she has seen me for +the last time. I am free. I have had the courage, in an interview of +two hours' duration, not to betray my intention. And O Wilhelm, what a +conversation it was! + +Albert had promised to come to Charlotte in the garden immediately +after supper. I was upon the terrace under the tall chestnut trees, and +watched the setting sun. I saw him sink for the last time beneath this +delightful valley and silent stream. I had often visited the same +spot with Charlotte, and witnessed that glorious sight; and now—I was +walking up and down the very avenue which was so dear to me. A secret +sympathy had frequently drawn me thither before I knew Charlotte; and +we were delighted when, in our early acquaintance, we discovered that we +each loved the same spot, which is indeed as romantic as any that ever +captivated the fancy of an artist. + +From beneath the chestnut trees, there is an extensive view. But I +remember that I have mentioned all this in a former letter, and have +described the tall mass of beech trees at the end, and how the avenue +grows darker and darker as it winds its way among them, till it ends +in a gloomy recess, which has all the charm of a mysterious solitude. I +still remember the strange feeling of melancholy which came over me the +first time I entered that dark retreat, at bright midday. I felt some +secret foreboding that it would, one day, be to me the scene of some +happiness or misery. + +I had spent half an hour struggling between the contending thoughts of +going and returning, when I heard them coming up the terrace. I ran to +meet them. I trembled as I took her hand, and kissed it. As we reached +the top of the terrace, the moon rose from behind the wooded hill. We +conversed on many subjects, and, without perceiving it, approached the +gloomy recess. Charlotte entered, and sat down. Albert seated himself +beside her. I did the same, but my agitation did not suffer me to remain +long seated. I got up, and stood before her, then walked backward and +forward, and sat down again. I was restless and miserable. Charlotte +drew our attention to the beautiful effect of the moonlight, which threw +a silver hue over the terrace in front of us, beyond the beech trees. +It was a glorious sight, and was rendered more striking by the darkness +which surrounded the spot where we were. We remained for some time +silent, when Charlotte observed, "Whenever I walk by moonlight, it +brings to my remembrance all my beloved and departed friends, and I +am filled with thoughts of death and futurity. We shall live again, +Werther!" she continued, with a firm but feeling voice; "but shall we +know one another again—what do you think? what do you say?" + +"Charlotte," I said, as I took her hand in mine, and my eyes filled with +tears, "we shall see each other again—here and hereafter we shall meet +again." I could say no more. Why, Wilhelm, should she put this question +to me, just at the moment when the fear of our cruel separation filled +my heart? + +"And oh! do those departed ones know how we are employed here? do they +know when we are well and happy? do they know when we recall their +memories with the fondest love? In the silent hour of evening the shade +of my mother hovers around me; when seated in the midst of my children, +I see them assembled near me, as they used to assemble near her; and +then I raise my anxious eyes to heaven, and wish she could look down +upon us, and witness how I fulfil the promise I made to her in her last +moments, to be a mother to her children. With what emotion do I then +exclaim, 'Pardon, dearest of mothers, pardon me, if I do not adequately +supply your place! Alas! I do my utmost. They are clothed and fed; and, +still better, they are loved and educated. Could you but see, sweet +saint! the peace and harmony that dwells amongst us, you would glorify +God with the warmest feelings of gratitude, to whom, in your last hour, +you addressed such fervent prayers for our happiness.'" Thus did she +express herself; but O Wilhelm! who can do justice to her language? how +can cold and passionless words convey the heavenly expressions of the +spirit? Albert interrupted her gently. "This affects you too deeply, +my dear Charlotte. I know your soul dwells on such recollections with +intense delight; but I implore—" "O Albert!" she continued, "I am sure +you do not forget the evenings when we three used to sit at the little +round table, when papa was absent, and the little ones had retired. You +often had a good book with you, but seldom read it; the conversation of +that noble being was preferable to everything,—that beautiful, +bright, gentle, and yet ever-toiling woman. God alone knows how I have +supplicated with tears on my nightly couch, that I might be like her." + +I threw myself at her feet, and, seizing her hand, bedewed it with +a thousand tears. "Charlotte!" I exclaimed, "God's blessing and your +mother's spirit are upon you." "Oh! that you had known her," she said, +with a warm pressure of the hand. "She was worthy of being known to +you." I thought I should have fainted: never had I received praise so +flattering. She continued, "And yet she was doomed to die in the flower +of her youth, when her youngest child was scarcely six months old. Her +illness was but short, but she was calm and resigned; and it was only +for her children, especially the youngest, that she felt unhappy. When +her end drew nigh, she bade me bring them to her. I obeyed. The younger +ones knew nothing of their approaching loss, while the elder ones were +quite overcome with grief. They stood around the bed; and she raised +her feeble hands to heaven, and prayed over them; then, kissing them in +turn, she dismissed them, and said to me, 'Be you a mother to them.' +I gave her my hand. 'You are promising much, my child,' she said: 'a +mother's fondness and a mother's care! I have often witnessed, by your +tears of gratitude, that you know what is a mother's tenderness: show it +to your brothers and sisters, and be dutiful and faithful to your +father as a wife; you will be his comfort.' She inquired for him. He +had retired to conceal his intolerable anguish,—he was heartbroken, +'Albert, you were in the room.' She heard some one moving: she inquired +who it was, and desired you to approach. She surveyed us both with a +look of composure and satisfaction, expressive of her conviction that +we should be happy,—happy with one another." Albert fell upon her neck, +and kissed her, and exclaimed, "We are so, and we shall be so!" Even +Albert, generally so tranquil, had quite lost his composure; and I was +excited beyond expression. + +"And such a being," She continued, "was to leave us, Werther! Great God, +must we thus part with everything we hold dear in this world? Nobody +felt this more acutely than the children: they cried and lamented for +a long time afterward, complaining that men had carried away their dear +mamma." + +Charlotte rose. It aroused me; but I continued sitting, and held her +hand. "Let us go," she said: "it grows late." She attempted to withdraw +her hand: I held it still. "We shall see each other again," I exclaimed: +"we shall recognise each other under every possible change! I am going," +I continued, "going willingly; but, should I say for ever, perhaps I may +not keep my word. Adieu, Charlotte; adieu, Albert. We shall meet again." +"Yes: tomorrow, I think," she answered with a smile. Tomorrow! how I +felt the word! Ah! she little thought, when she drew her hand away from +mine. They walked down the avenue. I stood gazing after them in the +moonlight. I threw myself upon the ground, and wept: I then sprang +up, and ran out upon the terrace, and saw, under the shade of the +linden-trees, her white dress disappearing near the garden-gate. I +stretched out my arms, and she vanished. + + + + +BOOK II. + +OCTOBER 20. + +We arrived here yesterday. The ambassador is indisposed, and will not +go out for some days. If he were less peevish and morose, all would +be well. I see but too plainly that Heaven has destined me to severe +trials; but courage! a light heart may bear anything. A light heart! +I smile to find such a word proceeding from my pen. A little more +lightheartedness would render me the happiest being under the sun. +But must I despair of my talents and faculties, whilst others of far +inferior abilities parade before me with the utmost self-satisfaction? +Gracious Providence, to whom I owe all my powers, why didst thou not +withhold some of those blessings I possess, and substitute in their +place a feeling of self-confidence and contentment? + +But patience! all will yet be well; for I assure you, my dear friend, +you were right: since I have been obliged to associate continually with +other people, and observe what they do, and how they employ themselves, +I have become far better satisfied with myself. For we are so +constituted by nature, that we are ever prone to compare ourselves with +others; and our happiness or misery depends very much on the objects +and persons around us. On this account, nothing is more dangerous than +solitude: there our imagination, always disposed to rise, taking a new +flight on the wings of fancy, pictures to us a chain of beings of whom +we seem the most inferior. All things appear greater than they really +are, and all seem superior to us. This operation of the mind is quite +natural: we so continually feel our own imperfections, and fancy we +perceive in others the qualities we do not possess, attributing to them +also all that we enjoy ourselves, that by this process we form the idea +of a perfect, happy man,—a man, however, who only exists in our own +imagination. + +But when, in spite of weakness and disappointments, we set to work in +earnest, and persevere steadily, we often find, that, though obliged +continually to tack, we make more way than others who have the +assistance of wind and tide; and, in truth, there can be no greater +satisfaction than to keep pace with others or outstrip them in the race. + +November 26. + +I begin to find my situation here more tolerable, considering all +circumstances. I find a great advantage in being much occupied; and the +number of persons I meet, and their different pursuits, create a varied +entertainment for me. I have formed the acquaintance of the Count +C— and I esteem him more and more every day. He is a man of strong +understanding and great discernment; but, though he sees farther than +other people, he is not on that account cold in his manner, but capable +of inspiring and returning the warmest affection. He appeared interested +in me on one occasion, when I had to transact some business with him. He +perceived, at the first word, that we understood each other, and that +he could converse with me in a different tone from what he used with +others. I cannot sufficiently esteem his frank and open kindness to me. +It is the greatest and most genuine of pleasures to observe a great mind +in sympathy with our own. + +DECEMBER 24. + +As I anticipated, the ambassador occasions me infinite annoyance. He is +the most punctilious blockhead under heaven. He does everything step by +step, with the trifling minuteness of an old woman; and he is a man whom +it is impossible to please, because he is never pleased with himself. I +like to do business regularly and cheerfully, and, when it is finished, +to leave it. But he constantly returns my papers to me, saying, "They +will do," but recommending me to look over them again, as "one may +always improve by using a better word or a more appropriate particle." +I then lose all patience, and wish myself at the devil's. Not a +conjunction, not an adverb, must be omitted: he has a deadly antipathy +to all those transpositions of which I am so fond; and, if the music +of our periods is not tuned to the established, official key, he cannot +comprehend our meaning. It is deplorable to be connected with such a +fellow. + +My acquaintance with the Count C— is the only compensation for such an +evil. He told me frankly, the other day, that he was much displeased +with the difficulties and delays of the ambassador; that people like him +are obstacles, both to themselves and to others. "But," added he, "one +must submit, like a traveller who has to ascend a mountain: if the +mountain was not there, the road would be both shorter and pleasanter; +but there it is, and he must get over it." + +The old man perceives the count's partiality for me: this annoys him, +and, he seizes every opportunity to depreciate the count in my hearing. +I naturally defend him, and that only makes matters worse. Yesterday he +made me indignant, for he also alluded to me. "The count," he said, "is +a man of the world, and a good man of business: his style is good, +and he writes with facility; but, like other geniuses, he has no solid +learning." He looked at me with an expression that seemed to ask if I +felt the blow. But it did not produce the desired effect: I despise a +man who can think and act in such a manner. However, I made a stand, and +answered with not a little warmth. The count, I said, was a man entitled +to respect, alike for his character and his acquirements. I had never +met a person whose mind was stored with more useful and extensive +knowledge,—who had, in fact, mastered such an infinite variety of +subjects, and who yet retained all his activity for the details of +ordinary business. This was altogether beyond his comprehension; and I +took my leave, lest my anger should be too highly excited by some new +absurdity of his. + +And you are to blame for all this, you who persuaded me to bend my +neck to this yoke by preaching a life of activity to me. If the man who +plants vegetables, and carries his corn to town on market-days, is not +more usefully employed than I am, then let me work ten years longer at +the galleys to which I am now chained. + +Oh, the brilliant wretchedness, the weariness, that one is doomed +to witness among the silly people whom we meet in society here! The +ambition of rank! How they watch, how they toil, to gain precedence! +What poor and contemptible passions are displayed in their utter +nakedness! We have a woman here, for example, who never ceases to +entertain the company with accounts of her family and her estates. Any +stranger would consider her a silly being, whose head was turned by +her pretensions to rank and property; but she is in reality even +more ridiculous, the daughter of a mere magistrate's clerk from this +neighbourhood. I cannot understand how human beings can so debase +themselves. + +Every day I observe more and more the folly of judging of others by +ourselves; and I have so much trouble with myself, and my own heart is +in such constant agitation, that I am well content to let others pursue +their own course, if they only allow me the same privilege. + +What provokes me most is the unhappy extent to which distinctions of +rank are carried. I know perfectly well how necessary are inequalities +of condition, and I am sensible of the advantages I myself derive +therefrom; but I would not have these institutions prove a barrier to +the small chance of happiness which I may enjoy on this earth. + +I have lately become acquainted with a Miss B—, a very agreeable girl, +who has retained her natural manners in the midst of artificial life. +Our first conversation pleased us both equally; and, at taking leave, +I requested permission to visit her. She consented in so obliging a +manner, that I waited with impatience for the arrival of the happy +moment. She is not a native of this place, but resides here with her +aunt. The countenance of the old lady is not prepossessing. I paid her +much attention, addressing the greater part of my conversation to her; +and, in less than half an hour, I discovered what her niece subsequently +acknowledged to me, that her aged aunt, having but a small fortune, and +a still smaller share of understanding, enjoys no satisfaction except +in the pedigree of her ancestors, no protection save in her noble birth, +and no enjoyment but in looking from her castle over the heads of the +humble citizens. She was, no doubt, handsome in her youth, and in her +early years probably trifled away her time in rendering many a poor +youth the sport of her caprice: in her riper years she has submitted +to the yoke of a veteran officer, who, in return for her person and her +small independence, has spent with her what we may designate her age of +brass. He is dead; and she is now a widow, and deserted. She spends her +iron age alone, and would not be approached, except for the loveliness +of her niece. + +JANUARY 8, 1772. + +What beings are men, whose whole thoughts are occupied with form and +ceremony, who for years together devote their mental and physical +exertions to the task of advancing themselves but one step, and +endeavouring to occupy a higher place at the table. Not that such +persons would otherwise want employment: on the contrary, they give +themselves much trouble by neglecting important business for such petty +trifles. Last week a question of precedence arose at a sledging-party, +and all our amusement was spoiled. + +The silly creatures cannot see that it is not place which constitutes +real greatness, since the man who occupies the first place but +seldom plays the principal part. How many kings are governed by their +ministers—how many ministers by their secretaries? Who, in such cases, +is really the chief? He, as it seems to me, who can see through the +others, and possesses strength or skill enough to make their power or +passions subservient to the execution of his own designs. + +JANUARY 20. + +I must write to you from this place, my dear Charlotte, from a small +room in a country inn, where I have taken shelter from a severe storm. +During my whole residence in that wretched place D—, where I lived +amongst strangers,—strangers, indeed, to this heart,—I never at any +time felt the smallest inclination to correspond with you; but in this +cottage, in this retirement, in this solitude, with the snow and hail +beating against my lattice-pane, you are my first thought. The instant +I entered, your figure rose up before me, and the remembrance! O my +Charlotte, the sacred, tender remembrance! Gracious Heaven! restore to +me the happy moment of our first acquaintance. + +Could you but see me, my dear Charlotte, in the whirl of +dissipation,—how my senses are dried up, but my heart is at no time +full. I enjoy no single moment of happiness: all is vain—nothing +touches me. I stand, as it were, before the raree-show: I see the little +puppets move, and I ask whether it is not an optical illusion. I am +amused with these puppets, or, rather, I am myself one of them: but, +when I sometimes grasp my neighbour's hand, I feel that it is not +natural; and I withdraw mine with a shudder. In the evening I say I will +enjoy the next morning's sunrise, and yet I remain in bed: in the day I +promise to ramble by moonlight; and I, nevertheless, remain at home. I +know not why I rise, nor why I go to sleep. + +The leaven which animated my existence is gone: the charm which cheered +me in the gloom of night, and aroused me from my morning slumbers, is +for ever fled. + +I have found but one being here to interest me, a Miss B—. She +resembles you, my dear Charlotte, if any one can possibly resemble you. +"Ah!" you will say, "he has learned how to pay fine compliments." And +this is partly true. I have been very agreeable lately, as it was not +in my power to be otherwise. I have, moreover, a deal of wit: and the +ladies say that no one understands flattery better, or falsehoods you +will add; since the one accomplishment invariably accompanies the +other. But I must tell you of Miss B—. She has abundance of soul, +which flashes from her deep blue eyes. Her rank is a torment to her, and +satisfies no one desire of her heart. She would gladly retire from +this whirl of fashion, and we often picture to ourselves a life of +undisturbed happiness in distant scenes of rural retirement: and then we +speak of you, my dear Charlotte; for she knows you, and renders homage +to your merits; but her homage is not exacted, but voluntary, she loves +you, and delights to hear you made the subject of conversation. + +Oh, that I were sitting at your feet in your favourite little room, with +the dear children playing around us! If they became troublesome to you, +I would tell them some appalling goblin story; and they would crowd +round me with silent attention. The sun is setting in glory; his last +rays are shining on the snow, which covers the face of the country: the +storm is over, and I must return to my dungeon. Adieu!—Is Albert with +you? and what is he to you? God forgive the question. + +FEBRUARY 8. + +For a week past we have had the most wretched weather: but this to me +is a blessing; for, during my residence here, not a single fine day has +beamed from the heavens, but has been lost to me by the intrusion +of somebody. During the severity of rain, sleet, frost, and storm, I +congratulate myself that it cannot be worse indoors than abroad, nor +worse abroad than it is within doors; and so I become reconciled. When +the sun rises bright in the morning, and promises a glorious day, I +never omit to exclaim, "There, now, they have another blessing +from Heaven, which they will be sure to destroy: they spoil +everything,—health, fame, happiness, amusement; and they do this +generally through folly, ignorance, or imbecility, and always, according +to their own account, with the best intentions!" I could often +beseech them, on my bended knees, to be less resolved upon their own +destruction. + +FEBRUARY 17. + +I fear that my ambassador and I shall not continue much longer together. +He is really growing past endurance. He transacts his business in so +ridiculous a manner, that I am often compelled to contradict him, and do +things my own way; and then, of course, he thinks them very ill done. He +complained of me lately on this account at court; and the minister gave +me a reprimand,—a gentle one it is true, but still a reprimand. In +consequence of this, I was about to tender my resignation, when I +received a letter, to which I submitted with great respect, on +account of the high, noble, and generous spirit which dictated it. He +endeavoured to soothe my excessive sensibility, paid a tribute to my +extreme ideas of duty, of good example, and of perseverance in business, +as the fruit of my youthful ardour, an impulse which he did not seek +to destroy, but only to moderate, that it might have proper play and be +productive of good. So now I am at rest for another week, and no longer +at variance with myself. Content and peace of mind are valuable things: +I could wish, my dear friend, that these precious jewels were less +transitory. + +FEBRUARY 20. + +God bless you, my dear friends, and may he grant you that happiness +which he denies to me! + +I thank you, Albert, for having deceived me. I waited for the news that +your wedding-day was fixed; and I intended on that day, with solemnity, +to take down Charlotte's profile from the wall, and to bury it with +some other papers I possess. You are now united, and her picture still +remains here. Well, let it remain! Why should it not? I know that I +am still one of your society, that I still occupy a place uninjured in +Charlotte's heart, that I hold the second place therein; and I intend +to keep it. Oh, I should become mad if she could forget! Albert, that +thought is hell! Farewell, Albert farewell, angel of heaven farewell, +Charlotte! + +MARCH 15. + +I have just had a sad adventure, which will drive me away from here. I +lose all patience!—Death!—It is not to be remedied; and you alone are +to blame, for you urged and impelled me to fill a post for which I was +by no means suited. I have now reason to be satisfied, and so have you! +But, that you may not again attribute this fatality to my impetuous +temper, I send you, my dear sir, a plain and simple narration of the +affair, as a mere chronicler of facts would describe it. + +The Count of O— likes and distinguishes me. It is well known, and I have +mentioned this to you a hundred times. Yesterday I dined with him. It is +the day on which the nobility are accustomed to assemble at his house +in the evening. I never once thought of the assembly, nor that we +subalterns did not belong to such society. Well, I dined with the count; +and, after dinner, we adjourned to the large hall. We walked up and down +together: and I conversed with him, and with Colonel B—, who joined us; +and in this manner the hour for the assembly approached. God knows, I +was thinking of nothing, when who should enter but the honourable Lady +accompanied by her noble husband and their silly, scheming daughter, +with her small waist and flat neck; and, with disdainful looks and a +haughty air they passed me by. As I heartily detest the whole race, +I determined upon going away; and only waited till the count had +disengaged himself from their impertinent prattle, to take leave, when +the agreeable Miss B— came in. As I never meet her without experiencing +a heartfelt pleasure, I stayed and talked to her, leaning over the +back of her chair, and did not perceive, till after some time, that she +seemed a little confused, and ceased to answer me with her usual ease +of manner. I was struck with it. "Heavens!" I said to myself, "can she, +too, be like the rest?" I felt annoyed, and was about to withdraw; but I +remained, notwithstanding, forming excuses for her conduct, fancying she +did not mean it, and still hoping to receive some friendly recognition. +The rest of the company now arrived. There was the Baron F—, in an +entire suit that dated from the coronation of Francis I.; the Chancellor +N—, with his deaf wife; the shabbily-dressed I—, whose old-fashioned +coat bore evidence of modern repairs: this crowned the whole. +I conversed with some of my acquaintances, but they answered me +laconically. I was engaged in observing Miss B—, and did not notice +that the women were whispering at the end of the room, that the murmur +extended by degrees to the men, that Madame S— addressed the count with +much warmth (this was all related to me subsequently by Miss B—); till +at length the count came up to me, and took me to the window. "You know +our ridiculous customs," he said. "I perceive the company is rather +displeased at your being here. I would not on any account—" "I beg +your excellency's pardon!" I exclaimed. "I ought to have thought of +this before, but I know you will forgive this little inattention. I was +going," I added, "some time ago, but my evil genius detained me." And I +smiled and bowed, to take my leave. He shook me by the hand, in a manner +which expressed everything. I hastened at once from the illustrious +assembly, sprang into a carriage, and drove to M—. I contemplated the +setting sun from the top of the hill, and read that beautiful passage in +Homer, where Ulysses is entertained by the hospitable herdsmen. This was +indeed delightful. + +I returned home to supper in the evening. But few persons were assembled +in the room. They had turned up a corner of the table-cloth, and were +playing at dice. The good-natured A— came in. He laid down his hat when +he saw me, approached me, and said in a low tone, "You have met with +a disagreeable adventure." "I!" I exclaimed. "The count obliged you to +withdraw from the assembly!" "Deuce take the assembly!" said I. "I was +very glad to be gone." "I am delighted," he added, "that you take it +so lightly. I am only sorry that it is already so much spoken of." The +circumstance then began to pain me. I fancied that every one who sat +down, and even looked at me, was thinking of this incident; and my heart +became embittered. + +And now I could plunge a dagger into my bosom, when I hear myself +everywhere pitied, and observe the triumph of my enemies, who say that +this is always the case with vain persons, whose heads are turned with +conceit, who affect to despise forms and such petty, idle nonsense. + +Say what you will of fortitude, but show me the man who can patiently +endure the laughter of fools, when they have obtained an advantage over +him. 'Tis only when their nonsense is without foundation that one can +suffer it without complaint. + +March 16. + +Everything conspires against me. I met Miss B— walking to-day. I could +not help joining her; and, when we were at a little distance from her +companions, I expressed my sense of her altered manner toward me. "O +Werther!" she said, in a tone of emotion, "you, who know my heart, how +could you so ill interpret my distress? What did I not suffer for you, +from the moment you entered the room! I foresaw it all, a hundred times +was I on the point of mentioning it to you. I knew that the S——s and +T——s, with their husbands, would quit the room, rather than remain in +your company. I knew that the count would not break with them: and +now so much is said about it." "How!" I exclaimed, and endeavoured to +conceal my emotion; for all that Adelin had mentioned to me yesterday +recurred to me painfully at that moment. "Oh, how much it has already +cost me!" said this amiable girl, while her eyes filled with tears. +I could scarcely contain myself, and was ready to throw myself at her +feet. "Explain yourself!" I cried. Tears flowed down her cheeks. I +became quite frantic. She wiped them away, without attempting to conceal +them. "You know my aunt," she continued; "she was present: and in +what light does she consider the affair! Last night, and this morning, +Werther, I was compelled to listen to a lecture upon my acquaintance +with you. I have been obliged to hear you condemned and depreciated; and +I could not—I dared not—say much in your defence." + +Every word she uttered was a dagger to my heart. She did not feel what a +mercy it would have been to conceal everything from me. She told me, in +addition, all the impertinence that would be further circulated, and how +the malicious would triumph; how they would rejoice over the punishment +of my pride, over my humiliation for that want of esteem for others with +which I had often been reproached. To hear all this, Wilhelm, uttered by +her in a voice of the most sincere sympathy, awakened all my passions; +and I am still in a state of extreme excitement. I wish I could find a +man to jeer me about this event. I would sacrifice him to my resentment. +The sight of his blood might possibly be a relief to my fury. A hundred +times have I seized a dagger, to give ease to this oppressed heart. +Naturalists tell of a noble race of horses that instinctively open a +vein with their teeth, when heated and exhausted by a long course, in +order to breathe more freely. I am often tempted to open a vein, to +procure for myself everlasting liberty. + +MARCH 24. + +I have tendered my resignation to the court. I hope it will be accepted, +and you will forgive me for not having previously consulted you. It +is necessary I should leave this place. I know all you will urge me to +stay, and therefore I beg you will soften this news to my mother. I am +unable to do anything for myself: how, then, should I be competent to +assist others? It will afflict her that I should have interrupted that +career which would have made me first a privy councillor, and then +minister, and that I should look behind me, in place of advancing. Argue +as you will, combine all the reasons which should have induced me +to remain, I am going: that is sufficient. But, that you may not be +ignorant of my destination, I may mention that the Prince of —— is here. +He is much pleased with my company; and, having heard of my intention +to resign, he has invited me to his country house, to pass the spring +months with him. I shall be left completely my own master; and, as we +agree on all subjects but one, I shall try my fortune, and accompany +him. + +APRIL 19. + +Thanks for both your letters. I delayed my reply, and withheld this +letter, till I should obtain an answer from the court. I feared my +mother might apply to the minister to defeat my purpose. But my request +is granted, my resignation is accepted. I shall not recount with what +reluctance it was accorded, nor relate what the minister has written: +you would only renew your lamentations. The crown prince has sent me +a present of five and twenty ducats; and, indeed, such goodness has +affected me to tears. For this reason I shall not require from my mother +the money for which I lately applied. + +MAY 5. + +I leave this place to-morrow; and, as my native place is only six miles +from the high road, I intend to visit it once more, and recall the happy +dreams of my childhood. I shall enter at the same gate through which +I came with my mother, when, after my father's death, she left that +delightful retreat to immure herself in your melancholy town. Adieu, my +dear friend: you shall hear of my future career. + +MAY 9. + +I have paid my visit to my native place with all the devotion of a +pilgrim, and have experienced many unexpected emotions. Near the great +elm tree, which is a quarter of a league from the village, I got out of +the carriage, and sent it on before, that alone, and on foot, I might +enjoy vividly and heartily all the pleasure of my recollections. I stood +there under that same elm which was formerly the term and object of my +walks. How things have since changed! Then, in happy ignorance, I sighed +for a world I did not know, where I hoped to find every pleasure and +enjoyment which my heart could desire; and now, on my return from that +wide world, O my friend, how many disappointed hopes and unsuccessful +plans have I brought back! + +As I contemplated the mountains which lay stretched out before me, I +thought how often they had been the object of my dearest desires. Here +used I to sit for hours together with my eyes bent upon them, ardently +longing to wander in the shade of those woods, to lose myself in those +valleys, which form so delightful an object in the distance. With what +reluctance did I leave this charming spot; when my hour of recreation +was over, and my leave of absence expired! I drew near to the village: +all the well-known old summerhouses and gardens were recognised again; I +disliked the new ones, and all other alterations which had taken place. +I entered the village, and all my former feelings returned. I cannot, +my dear friend, enter into details, charming as were my sensations: +they would be dull in the narration. I had intended to lodge in the +market-place, near our old house. As soon as I entered, I perceived that +the schoolroom, where our childhood had been taught by that good old +woman, was converted into a shop. I called to mind the sorrow, the +heaviness, the tears, and oppression of heart, which I experienced in +that confinement. Every step produced some particular impression. A +pilgrim in the Holy Land does not meet so many spots pregnant with +tender recollections, and his soul is hardly moved with greater +devotion. One incident will serve for illustration. I followed the +course of a stream to a farm, formerly a delightful walk of mine, and +paused at the spot, where, when boys, we used to amuse ourselves making +ducks and drakes upon the water. I recollected so well how I used +formerly to watch the course of that same stream, following it with +inquiring eagerness, forming romantic ideas of the countries it was to +pass through; but my imagination was soon exhausted: while the +water continued flowing farther and farther on, till my fancy became +bewildered by the contemplation of an invisible distance. Exactly such, +my dear friend, so happy and so confined, were the thoughts of our good +ancestors. Their feelings and their poetry were fresh as childhood. +And, when Ulysses talks of the immeasurable sea and boundless earth, +his epithets are true, natural, deeply felt, and mysterious. Of what +importance is it that I have learned, with every schoolboy, that the +world is round? Man needs but little earth for enjoyment, and still less +for his final repose. + +I am at present with the prince at his hunting lodge. He is a man with +whom one can live happily. He is honest and unaffected. There are, +however, some strange characters about him, whom I cannot at all +understand. They do not seem vicious, and yet they do not carry the +appearance of thoroughly honest men. Sometimes I am disposed to believe +them honest, and yet I cannot persuade myself to confide in them. It +grieves me to hear the prince occasionally talk of things which he has +only read or heard of, and always with the same view in which they have +been represented by others. + +He values my understanding and talents more highly than my heart, but I +am proud of the latter only. It is the sole source of everything of our +strength, happiness, and misery. All the knowledge I possess every one +else can acquire, but my heart is exclusively my own. + +MAY 25. + +I have had a plan in my head of which I did not intend to speak to you +until it was accomplished: now that it has failed, I may as well mention +it. I wished to enter the army, and had long been desirous of taking +the step. This, indeed, was the chief reason for my coming here with the +prince, as he is a general in the service. I communicated my design to +him during one of our walks together. He disapproved of it, and it would +have been actual madness not to have listened to his reasons. + +JUNE 11. + +Say what you will, I can remain here no longer. Why should I remain? +Time hangs heavy upon my hands. The prince is as gracious to me as any +one could be, and yet I am not at my ease. There is, indeed, nothing +in common between us. He is a man of understanding, but quite of the +ordinary kind. His conversation affords me no more amusement than I +should derive from the perusal of a well-written book. I shall remain +here a week longer, and then start again on my travels. My drawings are +the best things I have done since I came here. The prince has a taste +for the arts, and would improve if his mind were not fettered by cold +rules and mere technical ideas. I often lose patience, when, with +a glowing imagination, I am giving expression to art and nature, he +interferes with learned suggestions, and uses at random the technical +phraseology of artists. + +JULY 16. + +Once more I am a wanderer, a pilgrim, through the world. But what else +are you! + +JULY 18. + +Whither am I going? I will tell you in confidence. I am obliged to +continue a fortnight longer here, and then I think it would be better +for me to visit the mines in—. But I am only deluding myself thus. The +fact is, I wish to be near Charlotte again, that is all. I smile at the +suggestions of my heart, and obey its dictates. + +JULY 29. + +No, no! it is yet well all is well! I her husband! O God, who gave me +being, if thou hadst destined this happiness for me, my whole life would +have been one continual thanksgiving! But I will not murmur—forgive +these tears, forgive these fruitless wishes. She—my wife! Oh, the very +thought of folding that dearest of Heaven's creatures in my arms! Dear +Wilhelm, my whole frame feels convulsed when I see Albert put his arms +around her slender waist! + +And shall I avow it? Why should I not, Wilhelm? She would have been +happier with me than with him. Albert is not the man to satisfy the +wishes of such a heart. He wants a certain sensibility; he wants—in +short, their hearts do not beat in unison. How often, my dear friend, +I'm reading a passage from some interesting book, when my heart and +Charlotte's seemed to meet, and in a hundred other instances when our +sentiments were unfolded by the story of some fictitious character, have +I felt that we were made for each other! But, dear Wilhelm, he loves her +with his whole soul; and what does not such a love deserve? + +I have been interrupted by an insufferable visit. I have dried my tears, +and composed my thoughts. Adieu, my best friend! + +AUGUST 4. + +I am not alone unfortunate. All men are disappointed in their hopes, and +deceived in their expectations. I have paid a visit to my good old woman +under the lime-trees. The eldest boy ran out to meet me: his exclamation +of joy brought out his mother, but she had a very melancholy look. Her +first word was, "Alas! dear sir, my little John is dead." He was the +youngest of her children. I was silent. "And my husband has returned +from Switzerland without any money; and, if some kind people had not +assisted him, he must have begged his way home. He was taken ill with +fever on his journey." I could answer nothing, but made the little one +a present. She invited me to take some fruit: I complied, and left the +place with a sorrowful heart. + +AUGUST 21. + +My sensations are constantly changing. Sometimes a happy prospect opens +before me; but alas! it is only for a moment; and then, when I am +lost in reverie, I cannot help saying to myself, "If Albert were +to die?—Yes, she would become—and I should be"—and so I pursue a +chimera, till it leads me to the edge of a precipice at which I shudder. + +When I pass through the same gate, and walk along the same road which +first conducted me to Charlotte, my heart sinks within me at the change +that has since taken place. All, all, is altered! No sentiment, no +pulsation of my heart, is the same. My sensations are such as would +occur to some departed prince whose spirit should return to visit the +superb palace which he had built in happy times, adorned with costly +magnificence, and left to a beloved son, but whose glory he should find +departed, and its halls deserted and in ruins. + +SEPTEMBER 3. + +I sometimes cannot understand how she can love another, how she dares +love another, when I love nothing in this world so completely, so +devotedly, as I love her, when I know only her, and have no other +possession. + +SEPTEMBER 4. + +It is even so! As nature puts on her autumn tints it becomes autumn with +me and around me. My leaves are sere and yellow, and the neighbouring +trees are divested of their foliage. Do you remember my writing to you +about a peasant boy shortly after my arrival here? I have just made +inquiries about him in Walheim. They say he has been dismissed from his +service, and is now avoided by every one. I met him yesterday on the +road, going to a neighbouring village. I spoke to him, and he told me +his story. It interested me exceedingly, as you will easily understand +when I repeat it to you. But why should I trouble you? Why should I +not reserve all my sorrow for myself? Why should I continue to give you +occasion to pity and blame me? But no matter: this also is part of my +destiny. + +At first the peasant lad answered my inquiries with a sort of subdued +melancholy, which seemed to me the mark of a timid disposition; but, as +we grew to understand each other, he spoke with less reserve, and openly +confessed his faults, and lamented his misfortune. I wish, my dear +friend, I could give proper expression to his language. He told me +with a sort of pleasurable recollection, that, after my departure, his +passion for his mistress increased daily, until at last he neither knew +what he did nor what he said, nor what was to become of him. He could +neither eat nor drink nor sleep: he felt a sense of suffocation; he +disobeyed all orders, and forgot all commands involuntarily; he seemed +as if pursued by an evil spirit, till one day, knowing that his mistress +had gone to an upper chamber, he had followed, or, rather, been drawn +after her. As she proved deaf to his entreaties, he had recourse to +violence. He knows not what happened; but he called God to witness that +his intentions to her were honourable, and that he desired nothing more +sincerely than that they should marry, and pass their lives together. +When he had come to this point, he began to hesitate, as if there +was something which he had not courage to utter, till at length he +acknowledged with some confusion certain little confidences she had +encouraged, and liberties she had allowed. He broke off two or three +times in his narration, and assured me most earnestly that he had +no wish to make her bad, as he termed it, for he loved her still as +sincerely as ever; that the tale had never before escaped his lips, +and was only now told to convince me that he was not utterly lost and +abandoned. And here, my dear friend, I must commence the old song which +you know I utter eternally. If I could only represent the man as he +stood, and stands now before me, could I only give his true expressions, +you would feel compelled to sympathise in his fate. But enough: you, +who know my misfortune and my disposition, can easily comprehend +the attraction which draws me toward every unfortunate being, but +particularly toward him whose story I have recounted. + +On perusing this letter a second time, I find I have omitted the +conclusion of my tale; but it is easily supplied. She became reserved +toward him, at the instigation of her brother who had long hated him, +and desired his expulsion from the house, fearing that his sister's +second marriage might deprive his children of the handsome fortune they +expected from her; as she is childless. He was dismissed at length; and +the whole affair occasioned so much scandal, that the mistress dared not +take him back, even if she had wished it. She has since hired another +servant, with whom, they say, her brother is equally displeased, and +whom she is likely to marry; but my informant assures me that he himself +is determined not to survive such a catastrophe. + +This story is neither exaggerated nor embellished: indeed, I have +weakened and impaired it in the narration, by the necessity of using the +more refined expressions of society. + +This love, then, this constancy, this passion, is no poetical fiction. +It is actual, and dwells in its greatest purity amongst that class of +mankind whom we term rude, uneducated. We are the educated, not the +perverted. But read this story with attention, I implore you. I am +tranquil to-day, for I have been employed upon this narration: you see +by my writing that I am not so agitated as usual. I read and re-read +this tale, Wilhelm: it is the history of your friend! My fortune has +been and will be similar; and I am neither half so brave nor half so +determined as the poor wretch with whom I hesitate to compare myself. + +SEPTEMBER 5. + +Charlotte had written a letter to her husband in the country, where he +was detained by business. It commenced, "My dearest love, return as +soon as possible: I await you with a thousand raptures." A friend who +arrived, brought word, that, for certain reasons, he could not return +immediately. Charlotte's letter was not forwarded, and the same evening +it fell into my hands. I read it, and smiled. She asked the reason. +"What a heavenly treasure is imagination:" I exclaimed; "I fancied for a +moment that this was written to me." She paused, and seemed displeased. +I was silent. + +SEPTEMBER 6. + +It cost me much to part with the blue coat which I wore the first time I +danced with Charlotte. But I could not possibly wear it any longer. +But I have ordered a new one, precisely similar, even to the collar and +sleeves, as well as a new waistcoat and pantaloons. + +But it does not produce the same effect upon me. I know not how it is, +but I hope in time I shall like it better. + +SEPTEMBER 12. + +She has been absent for some days. She went to meet Albert. To-day +I visited her: she rose to receive me, and I kissed her hand most +tenderly. + +A canary at the moment flew from a mirror, and settled upon her +shoulder. "Here is a new friend," she observed, while she made him perch +upon her hand: "he is a present for the children. What a dear he is! +Look at him! When I feed him, he flutters with his wings, and pecks so +nicely. He kisses me, too, only look!" + +She held the bird to her mouth; and he pressed her sweet lips with +so much fervour that he seemed to feel the excess of bliss which he +enjoyed. + +"He shall kiss you too," she added; and then she held the bird toward +me. His little beak moved from her mouth to mine, and the delightful +sensation seemed like the forerunner of the sweetest bliss. + +"A kiss," I observed, "does not seem to satisfy him: he wishes for food, +and seems disappointed by these unsatisfactory endearments." + +"But he eats out of my mouth," she continued, and extended her lips to +him containing seed; and she smiled with all the charm of a being who +has allowed an innocent participation of her love. + +I turned my face away. She should not act thus. She ought not to excite +my imagination with such displays of heavenly innocence and happiness, +nor awaken my heart from its slumbers, in which it dreams of the +worthlessness of life! And why not? Because she knows how much I love +her. + +SEPTEMBER 15. + +It makes me wretched, Wilhelm, to think that there should be men +incapable of appreciating the few things which possess a real value in +life. You remember the walnut trees at S—, under which I used to sit +with Charlotte, during my visits to the worthy old vicar. Those glorious +trees, the very sight of which has so often filled my heart with +joy, how they adorned and refreshed the parsonage yard, with their +wide-extended branches! and how pleasing was our remembrance of the +good old pastor, by whose hands they were planted so many years ago: +The schoolmaster has frequently mentioned his name. He had it from his +grandfather. He must have been a most excellent man; and, under the +shade of those old trees, his memory was ever venerated by me. The +schoolmaster informed us yesterday, with tears in his eyes, that those +trees had been felled. Yes, cut to the ground! I could, in my wrath, +have slain the monster who struck the first stroke. And I must endure +this!—I, who, if I had had two such trees in my own court, and one had +died from old age, should have wept with real affliction. But there is +some comfort left, such a thing is sentiment, the whole village murmurs +at the misfortune; and I hope the vicar's wife will soon find, by the +cessation of the villagers' presents, how much she has wounded the +feelings of the neighborhhood. It was she who did it, the wife of the +present incumbent (our good old man is dead), a tall, sickly creature +who is so far right to disregard the world, as the world totally +disregards her. The silly being affects to be learned, pretends to +examine the canonical books, lends her aid toward the new-fashioned +reformation of Christendom, moral and critical, and shrugs up her +shoulders at the mention of Lavater's enthusiasm. Her health is +destroyed, on account of which she is prevented from having any +enjoyment here below. Only such a creature could have cut down my walnut +trees! I can never pardon it. Hear her reasons. The falling leaves made +the court wet and dirty; the branches obstructed the light; boys threw +stones at the nuts when they were ripe, and the noise affected her +nerves; and disturbed her profound meditations, when she was weighing +the difficulties of Kennicot, Semler, and Michaelis. Finding that all +the parish, particularly the old people, were displeased, I asked "why +they allowed it?" "Ah, sir!" they replied, "when the steward orders, +what can we poor peasants do?" But one thing has happened well. The +steward and the vicar (who, for once, thought to reap some advantage +from the caprices of his wife) intended to divide the trees between +them. The revenue-office, being informed of it, revived an old claim to +the ground where the trees had stood, and sold them to the best bidder. +There they still lie on the ground. If I were the sovereign, I should +know how to deal with them all, vicar, steward, and revenue-office. +Sovereign, did I say? I should, in that case, care little about the +trees that grew in the country. + +OCTOBER 10. + +Only to gaze upon her dark eyes is to me a source of happiness! And +what grieves me, is, that Albert does not seem so happy as he—hoped to +be—as I should have been—if—I am no friend to these pauses, but here +I cannot express it otherwise; and probably I am explicit enough. + +OCTOBER 12. + +Ossian has superseded Homer in my heart. To what a world does the +illustrious bard carry me! To wander over pathless wilds, surrounded by +impetuous whirlwinds, where, by the feeble light of the moon, we see the +spirits of our ancestors; to hear from the mountain-tops, mid the roar +of torrents, their plaintive sounds issuing from deep caverns, and the +sorrowful lamentations of a maiden who sighs and expires on the mossy +tomb of the warrior by whom she was adored. I meet this bard with silver +hair; he wanders in the valley; he seeks the footsteps of his fathers, +and, alas! he finds only their tombs. Then, contemplating the pale moon, +as she sinks beneath the waves of the rolling sea, the memory of +bygone days strikes the mind of the hero, days when approaching danger +invigorated the brave, and the moon shone upon his bark laden with +spoils, and returning in triumph. When I read in his countenance deep +sorrow, when I see his dying glory sink exhausted into the grave, as he +inhales new and heart-thrilling delight from his approaching union with +his beloved, and he casts a look on the cold earth and the tall grass +which is so soon to cover him, and then exclaims, "The traveller will +come,—he will come who has seen my beauty, and he will ask, 'Where is +the bard, where is the illustrious son of Fingal?' He will walk over my +tomb, and will seek me in vain!" Then, O my friend, I could instantly, +like a true and noble knight, draw my sword, and deliver my prince from +the long and painful languor of a living death, and dismiss my own soul +to follow the demigod whom my hand had set free! + +OCTOBER 19. + +Alas! the void the fearful void, which I feel in my bosom! Sometimes +I think, if I could only once but once, press her to my heart, this +dreadful void would be filled. + +OCTOBER 26. + +Yes, I feel certain, Wilhelm, and every day I become more certain, that +the existence of any being whatever is of very little consequence. A +friend of Charlotte's called to see her just now. I withdrew into a +neighbouring apartment, and took up a book; but, finding I could not +read, I sat down to write. I heard them converse in an undertone: they +spoke upon indifferent topics, and retailed the news of the town. One +was going to be married; another was ill, very ill, she had a dry cough, +her face was growing thinner daily, and she had occasional fits. "N— is +very unwell too," said Charlotte. "His limbs begin to swell already," +answered the other; and my lively imagination carried me at once to the +beds of the infirm. There I see them struggling against death, with all +the agonies of pain and horror; and these women, Wilhelm, talk of all +this with as much indifference as one would mention the death of a +stranger. And when I look around the apartment where I now am—when I +see Charlotte's apparel lying before me, and Albert's writings, and all +those articles of furniture which are so familiar to me, even to +the very inkstand which I am using,—when I think what I am to this +family—everything. My friends esteem me; I often contribute to their +happiness, and my heart seems as if it could not beat without them; and +yet—-if I were to die, if I were to be summoned from the midst of this +circle, would they feel—or how long would they feel the void which my +loss would make in their existence? How long! Yes, such is the frailty +of man, that even there, where he has the greatest consciousness of his +own being, where he makes the strongest and most forcible impression, +even in the memory, in the heart, of his beloved, there also he must +perish,—vanish,—and that quickly. + +OCTOBER 27. + +I could tear open my bosom with vexation to think how little we +are capable of influencing the feelings of each other. No one can +communicate to me those sensations of love, joy, rapture, and delight +which I do not naturally possess; and, though my heart may glow with the +most lively affection, I cannot make the happiness of one in whom the +same warmth is not inherent. + +OCTOBER 27: Evening. + +I possess so much, but my love for her absorbs it all. I possess so +much, but without her I have nothing. + +OCTOBER 30. + +One hundred times have I been on the point of embracing her. Heavens! +what a torment it is to see so much loveliness passing and repassing +before us, and yet not dare to lay hold of it! And laying hold is the +most natural of human instincts. Do not children touch everything they +see? And I! + +NOVEMBER 3. + +Witness, Heaven, how often I lie down in my bed with a wish, and even a +hope, that I may never awaken again. And in the morning, when I open my +eyes, I behold the sun once more, and am wretched. If I were whimsical, +I might blame the weather, or an acquaintance, or some personal +disappointment, for my discontented mind; and then this insupportable +load of trouble would not rest entirely upon myself. But, alas! I feel +it too sadly. I am alone the cause of my own woe, am I not? Truly, +my own bosom contains the source of all my sorrow, as it previously +contained the source of all my pleasure. Am I not the same being who +once enjoyed an excess of happiness, who, at every step, saw paradise +open before him, and whose heart was ever expanded toward the whole +world? And this heart is now dead, no sentiment can revive it; my eyes +are dry; and my senses, no more refreshed by the influence of soft +tears, wither and consume my brain. I suffer much, for I have lost +the only charm of life: that active, sacred power which created worlds +around me,—it is no more. When I look from my window at the distant +hills, and behold the morning sun breaking through the mists, and +illuminating the country around, which is still wrapped in silence, +whilst the soft stream winds gently through the willows, which have shed +their leaves; when glorious nature displays all her beauties before me, +and her wondrous prospects are ineffectual to extract one tear of joy +from my withered heart, I feel that in such a moment I stand like a +reprobate before heaven, hardened, insensible, and unmoved. Oftentimes +do I then bend my knee to the earth, and implore God for the blessing +of tears, as the desponding labourer in some scorching climate prays for +the dews of heaven to moisten his parched corn. + +But I feel that God does not grant sunshine or rain to our importunate +entreaties. And oh, those bygone days, whose memory now torments me! +why were they so fortunate? Because I then waited with patience for +the blessings of the Eternal, and received his gifts with the grateful +feelings of a thankful heart. + +NOVEMBER 8. + +Charlotte has reproved me for my excesses, with so much tenderness and +goodness! I have lately been in the habit of drinking more wine than +heretofore. "Don't do it," she said. "Think of Charlotte!" "Think of +you!" I answered; "need you bid me do so? Think of you—I do not think +of you: you are ever before my soul! This very morning I sat on the +spot where, a few days ago, you descended from the carriage, and—" She +immediately changed the subject to prevent me from pursuing it farther. +My dear friend, my energies are all prostrated: she can do with me what +she pleases. + +NOVEMBER 15. + +I thank you, Wilhelm, for your cordial sympathy, for your excellent +advice; and I implore you to be quiet. Leave me to my sufferings. In +spite of my wretchedness, I have still strength enough for endurance. +I revere religion—you know I do. I feel that it can impart strength +to the feeble and comfort to the afflicted, but does it affect all men +equally? Consider this vast universe: you will see thousands for whom it +has never existed, thousands for whom it will never exist, whether it be +preached to them, or not; and must it, then, necessarily exist for me? +Does not the Son of God himself say that they are his whom the Father +has given to him? Have I been given to him? What if the Father will +retain me for himself, as my heart sometimes suggests? I pray you, do +not misinterpret this. Do not extract derision from my harmless words. I +pour out my whole soul before you. Silence were otherwise preferable to +me, but I need not shrink from a subject of which few know more than I +do myself. What is the destiny of man, but to fill up the measure of +his sufferings, and to drink his allotted cup of bitterness? And if that +same cup proved bitter to the God of heaven, under a human form, why +should I affect a foolish pride, and call it sweet? Why should I be +ashamed of shrinking at that fearful moment, when my whole being will +tremble between existence and annihilation, when a remembrance of +the past, like a flash of lightning, will illuminate the dark gulf of +futurity, when everything shall dissolve around me, and the whole world +vanish away? Is not this the voice of a creature oppressed beyond all +resource, self-deficient, about to plunge into inevitable destruction, +and groaning deeply at its inadequate strength, "My God! my God! why +hast thou forsaken me?" And should I feel ashamed to utter the same +expression? Should I not shudder at a prospect which had its fears, even +for him who folds up the heavens like a garment? + +NOVEMBER 21. + +She does not feel, she does not know, that she is preparing a poison +which will destroy us both; and I drink deeply of the draught which is +to prove my destruction. What mean those looks of kindness with which +she often—often? no, not often, but sometimes, regards me, that +complacency with which she hears the involuntary sentiments which +frequently escape me, and the tender pity for my sufferings which +appears in her countenance? + +Yesterday, when I took leave she seized me by the hand, and said, +"Adieu, dear Werther." Dear Werther! It was the first time she ever +called me dear: the sound sunk deep into my heart. I have repeated it a +hundred times; and last night, on going to bed, and talking to myself +of various things, I suddenly said, "Good night, dear Werther!" and then +could not but laugh at myself. + +NOVEMBER 22 + +I cannot pray, "Leave her to me!" and yet she often seems to belong to +me. I cannot pray, "Give her to me!" for she is another's. In this way +I affect mirth over my troubles; and, if I had time, I could compose a +whole litany of antitheses. + +NOVEMBER 24. + +She is sensible of my sufferings. This morning her look pierced my very +soul. I found her alone, and she was silent: she steadfastly surveyed +me. I no longer saw in her face the charms of beauty or the fire of +genius: these had disappeared. But I was affected by an expression much +more touching, a look of the deepest sympathy and of the softest pity. +Why was I afraid to throw myself at her feet? Why did I not dare to take +her in my arms, and answer her by a thousand kisses? She had recourse to +her piano for relief, and in a low and sweet voice accompanied the music +with delicious sounds. Her lips never appeared so lovely: they seemed +but just to open, that they might imbibe the sweet tones which issued +from the instrument, and return the heavenly vibration from her lovely +mouth. Oh! who can express my sensations? I was quite overcome, and, +bending down, pronounced this vow: "Beautiful lips, which the angels +guard, never will I seek to profane your purity with a kiss." And +yet, my friend, oh, I wish—but my heart is darkened by doubt and +indecision—could I but taste felicity, and then die to expiate the sin! +What sin? + +NOVEMBER 26. + +Oftentimes I say to myself, "Thou alone art wretched: all other mortals +are happy, none are distressed like thee!" Then I read a passage in an +ancient poet, and I seem to understand my own heart. I have so much to +endure! Have men before me ever been so wretched? + +NOVEMBER 30. + +I shall never be myself again! Wherever I go, some fatality occurs to +distract me. Even to-day alas—for our destiny! alas for human nature! + +About dinner-time I went to walk by the river-side, for I had no +appetite. Everything around seemed gloomy: a cold and damp easterly wind +blew from the mountains, and black, heavy clouds spread over the plain. +I observed at a distance a man in a tattered coat: he was wandering +among the rocks, and seemed to be looking for plants. When I approached, +he turned round at the noise; and I saw that he had an interesting +countenance in which a settled melancholy, strongly marked by +benevolence, formed the principal feature. His long black hair was +divided, and flowed over his shoulders. As his garb betokened a person +of the lower order, I thought he would not take it ill if I inquired +about his business; and I therefore asked what he was seeking. He +replied, with a deep sigh, that he was looking for flowers, and could +find none. "But it is not the season," I observed, with a smile. "Oh, +there are so many flowers!" he answered, as he came nearer to me. "In my +garden there are roses and honeysuckles of two sorts: one sort was +given to me by my father! they grow as plentifully as weeds; I have been +looking for them these two days, and cannot find them. There are flowers +out there, yellow, blue, and red; and that centaury has a very pretty +blossom: but I can find none of them." I observed his peculiarity, and +therefore asked him, with an air of indifference, what he intended to +do with his flowers. A strange smile overspread his countenance. Holding +his finger to his mouth, he expressed a hope that I would not betray +him; and he then informed me that he had promised to gather a nosegay +for his mistress. "That is right," said I. "Oh!" he replied, "she +possesses many other things as well: she is very rich." "And yet," I +continued, "she likes your nosegays." "Oh, she has jewels and crowns!" +he exclaimed. I asked who she was. "If the states-general would but pay +me," he added, "I should be quite another man. Alas! there was a time +when I was so happy; but that is past, and I am now—" He raised his +swimming eyes to heaven. "And you were happy once?" I observed. "Ah, +would I were so still!" was his reply. "I was then as gay and contented +as a man can be." An old woman, who was coming toward us, now called +out, "Henry, Henry! where are you? We have been looking for you +everywhere: come to dinner." "Is he your son?" I inquired, as I went +toward her. "Yes," she said: "he is my poor, unfortunate son. The Lord +has sent me a heavy affliction." I asked whether he had been long in +this state. She answered, "He has been as calm as he is at present for +about six months. I thank Heaven that he has so far recovered: he was +for one whole year quite raving, and chained down in a madhouse. Now he +injures no one, but talks of nothing else than kings and queens. He used +to be a very good, quiet youth, and helped to maintain me; he wrote a +very fine hand; but all at once he became melancholy, was seized with a +violent fever, grew distracted, and is now as you see. If I were only to +tell you, sir—" I interrupted her by asking what period it was in which +he boasted of having been so happy. "Poor boy!" she exclaimed, with a +smile of compassion, "he means the time when he was completely deranged, +a time he never ceases to regret, when he was in the madhouse, and +unconscious of everything." I was thunderstruck: I placed a piece of +money in her hand, and hastened away. + +"You were happy!" I exclaimed, as I returned quickly to the town, "'as +gay and contented as a man can be!'" God of heaven! and is this the +destiny of man? Is he only happy before he has acquired his reason, or +after he has lost it? Unfortunate being! And yet I envy your fate: I +envy the delusion to which you are a victim. You go forth with joy to +gather flowers for your princess,—in winter,—and grieve when you can +find none, and cannot understand why they do not grow. But I wander +forth without joy, without hope, without design; and I return as I came. +You fancy what a man you would be if the states general paid you. Happy +mortal, who can ascribe your wretchedness to an earthly cause! You +do not know, you do not feel, that in your own distracted heart and +disordered brain dwells the source of that unhappiness which all the +potentates on earth cannot relieve. + +Let that man die unconsoled who can deride the invalid for undertaking +a journey to distant, healthful springs, where he often finds only a +heavier disease and a more painful death, or who can exult over the +despairing mind of a sinner, who, to obtain peace of conscience and an +alleviation of misery, makes a pilgrimage to the Holy Sepulchre. Each +laborious step which galls his wounded feet in rough and untrodden paths +pours a drop of balm into his troubled soul, and the journey of many a +weary day brings a nightly relief to his anguished heart. Will you dare +call this enthusiasm, ye crowd of pompous declaimers? Enthusiasm! O God! +thou seest my tears. Thou hast allotted us our portion of misery: must +we also have brethren to persecute us, to deprive us of our consolation, +of our trust in thee, and in thy love and mercy? For our trust in the +virtue of the healing root, or in the strength of the vine, what is it +else than a belief in thee from whom all that surrounds us derives its +healing and restoring powers? Father, whom I know not,—who wert once +wont to fill my soul, but who now hidest thy face from me,—call me back +to thee; be silent no longer; thy silence shall not delay a soul which +thirsts after thee. What man, what father, could be angry with a son for +returning to him suddenly, for falling on his neck, and exclaiming, "I +am here again, my father! forgive me if I have anticipated my journey, +and returned before the appointed time! The world is everywhere the +same,—a scene of labour and pain, of pleasure and reward; but what does +it all avail? I am happy only where thou art, and in thy presence am I +content to suffer or enjoy." And wouldst thou, heavenly Father, banish +such a child from thy presence? + +DECEMBER 1. + +Wilhelm, the man about whom I wrote to you—that man so enviable in his +misfortunes—was secretary to Charlotte's father; and an unhappy passion +for her which he cherished, concealed, and at length discovered, caused +him to be dismissed from his situation. This made him mad. Think, whilst +you peruse this plain narration, what an impression the circumstance has +made upon me! But it was related to me by Albert with as much calmness +as you will probably peruse it. + +DECEMBER 4. + +I implore your attention. It is all over with me. I can support this +state no longer. To-day I was sitting by Charlotte. She was playing +upon her piano a succession of delightful melodies, with such intense +expression! Her little sister was dressing her doll upon my lap. The +tears came into my eyes. I leaned down, and looked intently at her +wedding-ring: my tears fell—immediately she began to play that +favourite, that divine, air which has so often enchanted me. I felt +comfort from a recollection of the past, of those bygone days when that +air was familiar to me; and then I recalled all the sorrows and the +disappointments which I had since endured. I paced with hasty strides +through the room, my heart became convulsed with painful emotions. At +length I went up to her, and exclaimed With eagerness, "For Heaven's +sake, play that air no longer!" She stopped, and looked steadfastly at +me. She then said, with a smile which sunk deep into my heart, "Werther, +you are ill: your dearest food is distasteful to you. But go, I entreat +you, and endeavour to compose yourself." I tore myself away. God, thou +seest my torments, and wilt end them! + +DECEMBER 6. + +How her image haunts me! Waking or asleep, she fills my entire soul! +Soon as I close my eyes, here, in my brain, where all the nerves of +vision are concentrated, her dark eyes are imprinted. Here—I do not +know how to describe it; but, if I shut my eyes, hers are immediately +before me: dark as an abyss they open upon me, and absorb my senses. + +And what is man—that boasted demigod? Do not his powers fail when he +most requires their use? And whether he soar in joy, or sink in sorrow, +is not his career in both inevitably arrested? And, whilst he fondly +dreams that he is grasping at infinity, does he not feel compelled to +return to a consciousness of his cold, monotonous existence? + +THE EDITOR TO THE READER. + +It is a matter of extreme regret that we want original evidence of the +last remarkable days of our friend; and we are, therefore, obliged +to interrupt the progress of his correspondence, and to supply the +deficiency by a connected narration. + +I have felt it my duty to collect accurate information from the mouths +of persons well acquainted with his history. The story is simple; and +all the accounts agree, except in some unimportant particulars. It is +true, that, with respect to the characters of the persons spoken of, +opinions and judgments vary. + +We have only, then, to relate conscientiously the facts which our +diligent labour has enabled us to collect, to give the letters of the +deceased, and to pay particular attention to the slightest fragment from +his pen, more especially as it is so difficult to discover the real and +correct motives of men who are not of the common order. + +Sorrow and discontent had taken deep root in Werther's soul, and +gradually imparted their character to his whole being. The harmony of +his mind became completely disturbed; a perpetual excitement and mental +irritation, which weakened his natural powers, produced the saddest +effects upon him, and rendered him at length the victim of an exhaustion +against which he struggled with still more painful efforts than he had +displayed, even in contending with his other misfortunes. His mental +anxiety weakened his various good qualities; and he was soon converted +into a gloomy companion, always unhappy and unjust in his ideas, the +more wretched he became. This was, at least, the opinion of Albert's +friends. They assert, moreover, that the character of Albert himself had +undergone no change in the meantime: he was still the same being whom +Werther had loved, honoured, and respected from the commencement. His +love for Charlotte was unbounded: he was proud of her, and desired that +she should be recognised by every one as the noblest of created beings. +Was he, however, to blame for wishing to avert from her every appearance +of suspicion? or for his unwillingness to share his rich prize with +another, even for a moment, and in the most innocent manner? It is +asserted that Albert frequently retired from his wife's apartment during +Werther's visits; but this did not arise from hatred or aversion to +his friend, but only from a feeling that his presence was oppressive to +Werther. + +Charlotte's father, who was confined to the house by indisposition, was +accustomed to send his carriage for her, that she might make excursions +in the neighbourhood. One day the weather had been unusually severe, and +the whole country was covered with snow. + +Werther went for Charlotte the following morning, in order that, if +Albert were absent, he might conduct her home. + +The beautiful weather produced but little impression on his troubled +spirit. A heavy weight lay upon his soul, deep melancholy had taken +possession of him, and his mind knew no change save from one painful +thought to another. + +As he now never enjoyed internal peace, the condition of his fellow +creatures was to him a perpetual source of trouble and distress. He +believed he had disturbed the happiness of Albert and his wife; and, +whilst he censured himself strongly for this, he began to entertain a +secret dislike to Albert. + +His thoughts were occasionally directed to this point. "Yes," he would +repeat to himself, with ill-concealed dissatisfaction, "yes, this is, +after all, the extent of that confiding, dear, tender, and sympathetic +love, that calm and eternal fidelity! What do I behold but satiety and +indifference? Does not every frivolous engagement attract him more than +his charming and lovely wife? Does he know how to prize his happiness? +Can he value her as she deserves? He possesses her, it is true, I know +that, as I know much more, and I have become accustomed to the thought +that he will drive me mad, or, perhaps, murder me. Is his friendship +toward me unimpaired? Does he not view my attachment to Charlotte as +an infringement upon his rights, and consider my attention to her as a +silent rebuke to himself? I know, and indeed feel, that he dislikes me, +that he wishes for my absence, that my presence is hateful to him." + +He would often pause when on his way to visit Charlotte, stand still, as +though in doubt, and seem desirous of returning, but would nevertheless +proceed; and, engaged in such thoughts and soliloquies as we have +described, he finally reached the hunting-lodge, with a sort of +involuntary consent. + +Upon one occasion he entered the house; and, inquiring for Charlotte, +he observed that the inmates were in a state of unusual confusion. +The eldest boy informed him that a dreadful misfortune had occurred +at Walheim,—that a peasant had been murdered! But this made little +impression upon him. Entering the apartment, he found Charlotte engaged +reasoning with her father, who, in spite of his infirmity, insisted on +going to the scene of the crime, in order to institute an inquiry. The +criminal was unknown; the victim had been found dead at his own door +that morning. Suspicions were excited: the murdered man had been in +the service of a widow, and the person who had previously filled the +situation had been dismissed from her employment. + +As soon as Werther heard this, he exclaimed with great excitement, +"Is it possible! I must go to the spot—I cannot delay a moment!" He +hastened to Walheim. Every incident returned vividly to his remembrance; +and he entertained not the slightest doubt that that man was the +murderer to whom he had so often spoken, and for whom he entertained +so much regard. His way took him past the well-known lime trees, to the +house where the body had been carried; and his feelings were greatly +excited at the sight of the fondly recollected spot. That threshold +where the neighbours' children had so often played together was stained +with blood; love and attachment, the noblest feelings of human nature, +had been converted into violence and murder. The huge trees stood there +leafless and covered with hoarfrost; the beautiful hedgerows which +surrounded the old churchyard wall were withered; and the gravestones, +half covered with snow, were visible through the openings. + +As he approached the inn, in front of which the whole village was +assembled, screams were suddenly heard. A troop of armed peasants was +seen approaching, and every one exclaimed that the criminal had been +apprehended. Werther looked, and was not long in doubt. The prisoner +was no other than the servant, who had been formerly so attached to the +widow, and whom he had met prowling about, with that suppressed anger +and ill-concealed despair, which we have before described. + +"What have you done, unfortunate man?" inquired Werther, as he advanced +toward the prisoner. The latter turned his eyes upon him in silence, and +then replied with perfect composure; "No one will now marry her, and +she will marry no one." The prisoner was taken into the inn, and Werther +left the place. The mind of Werther was fearfully excited by this +shocking occurrence. He ceased, however, to be oppressed by his usual +feeling of melancholy, moroseness, and indifference to everything +that passed around him. He entertained a strong degree of pity for the +prisoner, and was seized with an indescribable anxiety to save him from +his impending fate. He considered him so unfortunate, he deemed his +crime so excusable, and thought his own condition so nearly similar, +that he felt convinced he could make every one else view the matter in +the light in which he saw it himself. He now became anxious to undertake +his defence, and commenced composing an eloquent speech for the +occasion; and, on his way to the hunting-lodge, he could not refrain +from speaking aloud the statement which he resolved to make to the +judge. + +Upon his arrival, he found Albert had been before him: and he was a +little perplexed by this meeting; but he soon recovered himself, and +expressed his opinion with much warmth to the judge. The latter shook +his head doubtingly; and although Werther urged his case with the utmost +zeal, feeling, and determination in defence of his client, yet, as we +may easily suppose, the judge was not much influenced by his appeal. +On the contrary, he interrupted him in his address, reasoned with +him seriously, and even administered a rebuke to him for becoming +the advocate of a murderer. He demonstrated, that, according to this +precedent, every law might be violated, and the public security utterly +destroyed. He added, moreover, that in such a case he could himself do +nothing, without incurring the greatest responsibility; that everything +must follow in the usual course, and pursue the ordinary channel. + +Werther, however, did not abandon his enterprise, and even besought the +judge to connive at the flight of the prisoner. But this proposal +was peremptorily rejected. Albert, who had taken some part in the +discussion, coincided in opinion with the judge. At this Werther became +enraged, and took his leave in great anger, after the judge had more +than once assured him that the prisoner could not be saved. + +The excess of his grief at this assurance may be inferred from a note we +have found amongst his papers, and which was doubtless written upon this +very occasion. + +"You cannot be saved, unfortunate man! I see clearly that we cannot be +saved!" + +Werther was highly incensed at the observations which Albert had made +to the judge in this matter of the prisoner. He thought he could detect +therein a little bitterness toward himself personally; and although, +upon reflection, it could not escape his sound judgment that their view +of the matter was correct, he felt the greatest possible reluctance to +make such an admission. + +A memorandum of Werther's upon this point, expressive of his general +feelings toward Albert, has been found amongst his papers. + +"What is the use of my continually repeating that he is a good and +estimable man? He is an inward torment to me, and I am incapable of +being just toward him." + +One fine evening in winter, when the weather seemed inclined to thaw, +Charlotte and Albert were returning home together. The former looked +from time to time about her, as if she missed Werther's company. Albert +began to speak of him, and censured him for his prejudices. He +alluded to his unfortunate attachment, and wished it were possible +to discontinue his acquaintance. "I desire it on our own account," he +added; "and I request you will compel him to alter his deportment toward +you, and to visit you less frequently. The world is censorious, and I +know that here and there we are spoken of." Charlotte made no reply, +and Albert seemed to feel her silence. At least, from that time he never +again spoke of Werther; and, when she introduced the subject, he allowed +the conversation to die away, or else he directed the discourse into +another channel. + +The vain attempt Werther had made to save the unhappy murderer was the +last feeble glimmering of a flame about to be extinguished. He sank +almost immediately afterward into a state of gloom and inactivity, until +he was at length brought to perfect distraction by learning that he +was to be summoned as a witness against the prisoner, who asserted his +complete innocence. + +His mind now became oppressed by the recollection of every misfortune +of his past life. The mortification he had suffered at the ambassador's, +and his subsequent troubles, were revived in his memory. He became +utterly inactive. Destitute of energy, he was cut off from every pursuit +and occupation which compose the business of common life; and he became +a victim to his own susceptibility, and to his restless passion for the +most amiable and beloved of women, whose peace he destroyed. In this +unvarying monotony of existence his days were consumed; and his powers +became exhausted without aim or design, until they brought him to a +sorrowful end. + +A few letters which he left behind, and which we here subjoin, afford +the best proofs of his anxiety of mind and of the depth of his passion, +as well as of his doubts and struggles, and of his weariness of life. + +DECEMBER 12. + +Dear Wilhelm, I am reduced to the condition of those unfortunate +wretches who believe they are pursued by an evil spirit. Sometimes I am +oppressed, not by apprehension or fear, but by an inexpressible internal +sensation, which weighs upon my heart, and impedes my breath! Then +I wander forth at night, even in this tempestuous season, and feel +pleasure in surveying the dreadful scenes around me. + +Yesterday evening I went forth. A rapid thaw had suddenly set in: I +had been informed that the river had risen, that the brooks had all +overflowed their banks, and that the whole vale of Walheim was under +water! Upon the stroke of twelve I hastened forth. I beheld a +fearful sight. The foaming torrents rolled from the mountains in the +moonlight,—fields and meadows, trees and hedges, were confounded +together; and the entire valley was converted into a deep lake, which +was agitated by the roaring wind! And when the moon shone forth, and +tinged the black clouds with silver, and the impetuous torrent at +my feet foamed and resounded with awful and grand impetuosity, I was +overcome by a mingled sensation of apprehension and delight. With +extended arms I looked down into the yawning abyss, and cried, +"Plunge!'" For a moment my senses forsook me, in the intense delight of +ending my sorrows and my sufferings by a plunge into that gulf! And then +I felt as if I were rooted to the earth, and incapable of seeking an end +to my woes! But my hour is not yet come: I feel it is not. O Wilhelm, +how willingly could I abandon my existence to ride the whirlwind, or to +embrace the torrent! and then might not rapture perchance be the portion +of this liberated soul? + +I turned my sorrowful eyes toward a favourite spot, where I was +accustomed to sit with Charlotte beneath a willow after a fatiguing +walk. Alas! it was covered with water, and with difficulty I found even +the meadow. And the fields around the hunting-lodge, thought I. Has our +dear bower been destroyed by this unpitying storm? And a beam of past +happiness streamed upon me, as the mind of a captive is illumined by +dreams of flocks and herds and bygone joys of home! But I am free from +blame. I have courage to die! Perhaps I have,—but I still sit here, +like a wretched pauper, who collects fagots, and begs her bread from +door to door, that she may prolong for a few days a miserable existence +which she is unwilling to resign. + +DECEMBER 15. + +What is the matter with me, dear Wilhelm? I am afraid of myself! Is not +my love for her of the purest, most holy, and most brotherly nature? Has +my soul ever been sullied by a single sensual desire? but I will make no +protestations. And now, ye nightly visions, how truly have those mortals +understood you, who ascribe your various contradictory effects to some +invincible power! This night I tremble at the avowal—I held her in my +arms, locked in a close embrace: I pressed her to my bosom, and covered +with countless kisses those dear lips which murmured in reply soft +protestations of love. My sight became confused by the delicious +intoxication of her eyes. Heavens! is it sinful to revel again in such +happiness, to recall once more those rapturous moments with intense +delight? Charlotte! Charlotte! I am lost! My senses are bewildered, my +recollection is confused, mine eyes are bathed in tears—I am ill; and +yet I am well—I wish for nothing—I have no desires—it were better I +were gone. + +Under the circumstances narrated above, a determination to quit +this world had now taken fixed possession of Werther's soul. Since +Charlotte's return, this thought had been the final object of all his +hopes and wishes; but he had resolved that such a step should not be +taken with precipitation, but with calmness and tranquillity, and with +the most perfect deliberation. + +His troubles and internal struggles may be understood from the following +fragment, which was found, without any date, amongst his papers, and +appears to have formed the beginning of a letter to Wilhelm. + +"Her presence, her fate, her sympathy for me, have power still to +extract tears from my withered brain. + +"One lifts up the curtain, and passes to the other side,—that is +all! And why all these doubts and delays? Because we know not what is +behind—because there is no returning—and because our mind infers that +all is darkness and confusion, where we have nothing but uncertainty." + +His appearance at length became quite altered by the effect of his +melancholy thoughts; and his resolution was now finally and irrevocably +taken, of which the following ambiguous letter, which he addressed to +his friend, may appear to afford some proof. + +DECEMBER 20. + +I am grateful to your love, Wilhelm, for having repeated your advice so +seasonably. Yes, you are right: it is undoubtedly better that I should +depart. But I do not entirely approve your scheme of returning at +once to your neighbourhood; at least, I should like to make a little +excursion on the way, particularly as we may now expect a continued +frost, and consequently good roads. I am much pleased with your +intention of coming to fetch me; only delay your journey for a +fortnight, and wait for another letter from me. One should gather +nothing before it is ripe, and a fortnight sooner or later makes a great +difference. Entreat my mother to pray for her son, and tell her I beg +her pardon for all the unhappiness I have occasioned her. It has +ever been my fate to give pain to those whose happiness I should have +promoted. Adieu, my dearest friend. May every blessing of Heaven attend +you! Farewell. + +We find it difficult to express the emotions with which Charlotte's soul +was agitated during the whole of this time, whether in relation to her +husband or to her unfortunate friend; although we are enabled, by our +knowledge of her character, to understand their nature. + +It is certain that she had formed a determination, by every means in +her power to keep Werther at a distance; and, if she hesitated in her +decision, it was from a sincere feeling of friendly pity, knowing how +much it would cost him, indeed, that he would find it almost impossible +to comply with her wishes. But various causes now urged her to be firm. +Her husband preserved a strict silence about the whole matter; and she +never made it a subject of conversation, feeling bound to prove to him +by her conduct that her sentiments agreed with his. + +The same day, which was the Sunday before Christmas, after Werther had +written the last-mentioned letter to his friend, he came in the evening +to Charlotte's house, and found her alone. She was busy preparing some +little gifts for her brothers and sisters, which were to be distributed +to them on Christmas Day. He began talking of the delight of +the children, and of that age when the sudden appearance of the +Christmas-tree, decorated with fruit and sweetmeats, and lighted up with +wax candles, causes such transports of joy. "You shall have a gift too, +if you behave well," said Charlotte, hiding her embarrassment under +sweet smile. "And what do you call behaving well? What should I do, what +can I do, my dear Charlotte?" said he. "Thursday night," she answered, +"is Christmas Eve. The children are all to be here, and my father too: +there is a present for each; do you come likewise, but do not come +before that time." Werther started. "I desire you will not: it must be +so," she continued. "I ask it of you as a favour, for my own peace and +tranquillity. We cannot go on in this manner any longer." He turned away +his face, walked hastily up and down the room, muttering indistinctly, +"We cannot go on in this manner any longer!" Charlotte, seeing the +violent agitation into which these words had thrown him, endeavoured +to divert his thoughts by different questions, but in vain. "No, +Charlotte!" he exclaimed; "I will never see you any more!" "And why so?" +she answered. "We may—we must see each other again; only let it be +with more discretion. Oh! why were you born with that excessive, that +ungovernable passion for everything that is dear to you?" Then, taking +his hand, she said, "I entreat of you to be more calm: your talents, +your understanding, your genius, will furnish you with a thousand +resources. Be a man, and conquer an unhappy attachment toward a creature +who can do nothing but pity you." He bit his lips, and looked at her +with a gloomy countenance. She continued to hold his hand. "Grant me but +a moment's patience, Werther," she said. "Do you not see that you are +deceiving yourself, that you are seeking your own destruction? Why must +you love me, me only, who belong to another? I fear, I much fear, that +it is only the impossibility of possessing me which makes your desire +for me so strong." He drew back his hand, whilst he surveyed her with a +wild and angry look. "'Tis well!" he exclaimed, "'tis very well! Did not +Albert furnish you with this reflection? It is profound, a very profound +remark." "A reflection that any one might easily make," she answered; +"and is there not a woman in the whole world who is at liberty, and has +the power to make you happy? Conquer yourself: look for such a being, +and believe me when I say that you will certainly find her. I have long +felt for you, and for us all: you have confined yourself too long within +the limits of too narrow a circle. Conquer yourself; make an effort: a +short journey will be of service to you. Seek and find an object worthy +of your love; then return hither, and let us enjoy together all the +happiness of the most perfect friendship." + +"This speech," replied Werther with a cold smile, "this speech should +be printed, for the benefit of all teachers. My dear Charlotte, allow me +but a short time longer, and all will be well." "But however, Werther," +she added, "do not come again before Christmas." He was about to make +some answer, when Albert came in. They saluted each other coldly, and +with mutual embarrassment paced up and down the room. Werther made +some common remarks; Albert did the same, and their conversation soon +dropped. Albert asked his wife about some household matters; and, +finding that his commissions were not executed, he used some expressions +which, to Werther's ear, savoured of extreme harshness. He wished to go, +but had not power to move; and in this situation he remained till eight +o'clock, his uneasiness and discontent continually increasing. At length +the cloth was laid for supper, and he took up his hat and stick. Albert +invited him to remain; but Werther, fancying that he was merely paying a +formal compliment, thanked him coldly, and left the house. + +Werther returned home, took the candle from his servant, and retired +to his room alone. He talked for some time with great earnestness to +himself, wept aloud, walked in a state of great excitement through his +chamber; till at length, without undressing, he threw himself on the +bed, where he was found by his servant at eleven o'clock, when the +latter ventured to enter the room, and take off his boots. Werther did +not prevent him, but forbade him to come in the morning till he should +ring. + +On Monday morning, the 21st of December, he wrote to Charlotte the +following letter, which was found, sealed, on his bureau after his +death, and was given to her. I shall insert it in fragments; as it +appears, from several circumstances, to have been written in that +manner. + +"It is all over, Charlotte: I am resolved to die! I make this +declaration deliberately and coolly, without any romantic passion, on +this morning of the day when I am to see you for the last time. At the +moment you read these lines, O best of women, the cold grave will hold +the inanimate remains of that restless and unhappy being who, in the +last moments of his existence, knew no pleasure so great as that of +conversing with you! I have passed a dreadful night or rather, let me +say, a propitious one; for it has given me resolution, it has fixed my +purpose. I am resolved to die. When I tore myself from you yesterday, +my senses were in tumult and disorder; my heart was oppressed, hope and +pleasure had fled from me for ever, and a petrifying cold had seized +my wretched being. I could scarcely reach my room. I threw myself on +my knees; and Heaven, for the last time, granted me the consolation of +shedding tears. A thousand ideas, a thousand schemes, arose within my +soul; till at length one last, fixed, final thought took possession of +my heart. It was to die. I lay down to rest; and in the morning, in the +quiet hour of awakening, the same determination was upon me. To die! It +is not despair: it is conviction that I have filled up the measure of +my sufferings, that I have reached my appointed term, and must sacrifice +myself for thee. Yes, Charlotte, why should I not avow it? One of us +three must die: it shall be Werther. O beloved Charlotte! this heart, +excited by rage and fury, has often conceived the horrid idea of +murdering your husband—you—myself! The lot is cast at length. And in +the bright, quiet evenings of summer, when you sometimes wander toward +the mountains, let your thoughts then turn to me: recollect how often +you have watched me coming to meet you from the valley; then bend your +eyes upon the churchyard which contains my grave, and, by the light of +the setting sun, mark how the evening breeze waves the tall grass +which grows above my tomb. I was calm when I began this letter, but the +recollection of these scenes makes me weep like a child." + +About ten in the morning, Werther called his servant, and, whilst he +was dressing, told him that in a few days he intended to set out upon +a journey, and bade him therefore lay his clothes in order, and prepare +them for packing up, call in all his accounts, fetch home the books +he had lent, and give two months' pay to the poor dependants who were +accustomed to receive from him a weekly allowance. + +He breakfasted in his room, and then mounted his horse, and went to +visit the steward, who, however, was not at home. He walked pensively +in the garden, and seemed anxious to renew all the ideas that were most +painful to him. + +The children did not suffer him to remain alone long. They followed him, +skipping and dancing before him, and told him, that after to-morrow and +tomorrow and one day more, they were to receive their Christmas gift +from Charlotte; and they then recounted all the wonders of which they +had formed ideas in their child imaginations. "Tomorrow and tomorrow," +said he, "and one day more!" And he kissed them tenderly. He was going; +but the younger boy stopped him, to whisper something in his ear. He +told him that his elder brothers had written splendid New-Year's wishes +so large! one for papa, and another for Albert and Charlotte, and one +for Werther; and they were to be presented early in the morning, on +New Year's Day. This quite overcame him. He made each of the children +a present, mounted his horse, left his compliments for papa and mamma, +and, with tears in his eyes, rode away from the place. + +He returned home about five o'clock, ordered his servant to keep up +his fire, desired him to pack his books and linen at the bottom of the +trunk, and to place his coats at the top. He then appears to have made +the following addition to the letter addressed to Charlotte: + +"You do not expect me. You think I will obey you, and not visit you +again till Christmas Eve. O Charlotte, today or never! On Christmas Eve +you will hold this paper in your hand; you will tremble, and moisten it +with your tears. I will—I must! Oh, how happy I feel to be determined!" + +In the meantime, Charlotte was in a pitiable state of mind. After her +last conversation with Werther, she found how painful to herself it +would be to decline his visits, and knew how severely he would suffer +from their separation. + +She had, in conversation with Albert, mentioned casually that Werther +would not return before Christmas Eve; and soon afterward Albert went +on horseback to see a person in the neighbourhood, with whom he had to +transact some business which would detain him all night. + +Charlotte was sitting alone. None of her family were near, and she gave +herself up to the reflections that silently took possession of her mind. +She was for ever united to a husband whose love and fidelity she had +proved, to whom she was heartily devoted, and who seemed to be a special +gift from Heaven to ensure her happiness. On the other hand, Werther had +become dear to her. There was a cordial unanimity of sentiment between +them from the very first hour of their acquaintance, and their long +association and repeated interviews had made an indelible impression +upon her heart. She had been accustomed to communicate to him every +thought and feeling which interested her, and his absence threatened to +open a void in her existence which it might be impossible to fill. How +heartily she wished that she might change him into her brother,—that +she could induce him to marry one of her own friends, or could +reestablish his intimacy with Albert. + +She passed all her intimate friends in review before her mind, but found +something objectionable in each, and could decide upon none to whom she +would consent to give him. + +Amid all these considerations she felt deeply but indistinctly that her +own real but unexpressed wish was to retain him for herself, and her +pure and amiable heart felt from this thought a sense of oppression +which seemed to forbid a prospect of happiness. She was wretched: a dark +cloud obscured her mental vision. + +It was now half-past six o'clock, and she heard Werther's step on the +stairs. She at once recognised his voice, as he inquired if she were at +home. Her heart beat audibly—we could almost say for the first time—at +his arrival. It was too late to deny herself; and, as he entered, she +exclaimed, with a sort of ill concealed confusion, "You have not kept +your word!" "I promised nothing," he answered. "But you should have +complied, at least for my sake," she continued. "I implore you, for both +our sakes." + +She scarcely knew what she said or did; and sent for some friends, who, +by their presence, might prevent her being left alone with Werther. He +put down some books he had brought with him, then made inquiries about +some others, until she began to hope that her friends might arrive +shortly, entertaining at the same time a desire that they might stay +away. + +At one moment she felt anxious that the servant should remain in the +adjoining room, then she changed her mind. Werther, meanwhile, walked +impatiently up and down. She went to the piano, and determined not +to retire. She then collected her thoughts, and sat down quietly at +Werther's side, who had taken his usual place on the sofa. + +"Have you brought nothing to read?" she inquired. He had nothing. "There +in my drawer," she continued, "you will find your own translation of +some of the songs of Ossian. I have not yet read them, as I have still +hoped to hear you recite them; but, for some time past, I have not been +able to accomplish such a wish." He smiled, and went for the manuscript, +which he took with a shudder. He sat down; and, with eyes full of tears, +he began to read. + +"Star of descending night! fair is thy light in the west! thou liftest +thy unshorn head from thy cloud; thy steps are stately on thy hill. What +dost thou behold in the plain? The stormy winds are laid. The murmur of +the torrent comes from afar. Roaring waves climb the distant rock. The +flies of evening are on their feeble wings: the hum of their course is +on the field. What dost thou behold, fair light? But thou dost smile and +depart. The waves come with joy around thee: they bathe thy lovely hair. +Farewell, thou silent beam! Let the light of Ossian's soul arise! + +"And it does arise in its strength! I behold my departed friends. Their +gathering is on Lora, as in the days of other years. Fingal comes like a +watery column of mist! his heroes are around: and see the bards of song, +gray-haired Ullin! stately Ryno! Alpin with the tuneful voice: the soft +complaint of Minona! How are ye changed, my friends, since the days of +Selma's feast! when we contended, like gales of spring as they fly along +the hill, and bend by turns the feebly whistling grass. + +"Minona came forth in her beauty, with downcast look and tearful eye. +Her hair was flying slowly with the blast that rushed unfrequent from +the hill. The souls of the heroes were sad when she raised the tuneful +voice. Oft had they seen the grave of Salgar, the dark dwelling of +white-bosomed Colma. Colma left alone on the hill with all her voice of +song! Salgar promised to come! but the night descended around. Hear the +voice of Colma, when she sat alone on the hill! + +"Colma. It is night: I am alone, forlorn on the hill of storms. The wind +is heard on the mountain. The torrent is howling down the rock. No hut +receives me from the rain: forlorn on the hill of winds! + +"Rise moon! from behind thy clouds. Stars of the night, arise! Lead me, +some light, to the place where my love rests from the chase alone! His +bow near him unstrung, his dogs panting around him! But here I must +sit alone by the rock of the mossy stream. The stream and the wind roar +aloud. I hear not the voice of my love! Why delays my Salgar; why the +chief of the hill his promise? Here is the rock and here the tree! here +is the roaring stream! Thou didst promise with night to be here. Ah! +whither is my Salgar gone? With thee I would fly from my father, with +thee from my brother of pride. Our race have long been foes: we are not +foes, O Salgar! + +"Cease a little while, O wind! stream, be thou silent awhile! let my +voice be heard around! let my wanderer hear me! Salgar! it is Colma who +calls. Here is the tree and the rock. Salgar, my love, I am here! Why +delayest thou thy coming? Lo! the calm moon comes forth. The flood is +bright in the vale. The rocks are gray on the steep. I see him not +on the brow. His dogs come not before him with tidings of his near +approach. Here I must sit alone! + +"Who lie on the heath beside me? Are they my love and my brother? Speak +to me, O my friends! To Colma they give no reply. Speak to me: I am +alone! My soul is tormented with fears. Ah, they are dead! Their swords +are red from the fight. O my brother! my brother! why hast thou slain my +Salgar! Why, O Salgar, hast thou slain my brother! Dear were ye both to +me! what shall I say in your praise? Thou wert fair on the hill among +thousands! he was terrible in fight! Speak to me! hear my voice! hear +me, sons of my love! They are silent! silent for ever! Cold, cold, are +their breasts of clay! Oh, from the rock on the hill, from the top of +the windy steep, speak, ye ghosts of the dead! Speak, I will not be +afraid! Whither are ye gone to rest? In what cave of the hill shall +I find the departed? No feeble voice is on the gale: no answer half +drowned in the storm! + +"I sit in my grief: I wait for morning in my tears! Rear the tomb, ye +friends of the dead. Close it not till Colma come. My life flies away +like a dream. Why should I stay behind? Here shall I rest with my +friends, by the stream of the sounding rock. When night comes on the +hill when the loud winds arise my ghost shall stand in the blast, and +mourn the death of my friends. The hunter shall hear from his booth; +he shall fear, but love my voice! For sweet shall my voice be for my +friends: pleasant were her friends to Colma. + +"Such was thy song, Minona, softly blushing daughter of Torman. Our +tears descended for Colma, and our souls were sad! Ullin came with his +harp; he gave the song of Alpin. The voice of Alpin was pleasant, the +soul of Ryno was a beam of fire! But they had rested in the narrow +house: their voice had ceased in Selma! Ullin had returned one day from +the chase before the heroes fell. He heard their strife on the hill: +their song was soft, but sad! They mourned the fall of Morar, first of +mortal men! His soul was like the soul of Fingal: his sword like the +sword of Oscar. But he fell, and his father mourned: his sister's eyes +were full of tears. Minona's eyes were full of tears, the sister of +car-borne Morar. She retired from the song of Ullin, like the moon in +the west, when she foresees the shower, and hides her fair head in a +cloud. I touched the harp with Ullin: the song of morning rose! + +"Ryno. The wind and the rain are past, calm is the noon of day. The +clouds are divided in heaven. Over the green hills flies the inconstant +sun. Red through the stony vale comes down the stream of the hill. Sweet +are thy murmurs, O stream! but more sweet is the voice I hear. It is the +voice of Alpin, the son of song, mourning for the dead! Bent is his head +of age: red his tearful eye. Alpin, thou son of song, why alone on the +silent hill? why complainest thou, as a blast in the wood as a wave on +the lonely shore? + +"Alpin. My tears, O Ryno! are for the dead my voice for those that have +passed away. Tall thou art on the hill; fair among the sons of the vale. +But thou shalt fall like Morar: the mourner shall sit on thy tomb. The +hills shall know thee no more: thy bow shall lie in thy hall unstrung! + +"Thou wert swift, O Morar! as a roe on the desert: terrible as a meteor +of fire. Thy wrath was as the storm. Thy sword in battle as lightning in +the field. Thy voice was as a stream after rain, like thunder on distant +hills. Many fell by thy arm: they were consumed in the flames of thy +wrath. But when thou didst return from war, how peaceful was thy brow. +Thy face was like the sun after rain: like the moon in the silence of +night: calm as the breast of the lake when the loud wind is laid. + +"Narrow is thy dwelling now! dark the place of thine abode! With three +steps I compass thy grave, O thou who wast so great before! Four stones, +with their heads of moss, are the only memorial of thee. A tree with +scarce a leaf, long grass which whistles in the wind, mark to the +hunter's eye the grave of the mighty Morar. Morar! thou art low indeed. +Thou hast no mother to mourn thee, no maid with her tears of love. Dead +is she that brought thee forth. Fallen is the daughter of Morglan. + +"Who on his staff is this? Who is this whose head is white with age, +whose eyes are red with tears, who quakes at every step? It is thy +father, O Morar! the father of no son but thee. He heard of thy fame in +war, he heard of foes dispersed. He heard of Morar's renown, why did +he not hear of his wound? Weep, thou father of Morar! Weep, but thy son +heareth thee not. Deep is the sleep of the dead, low their pillow of +dust. No more shall he hear thy voice, no more awake at thy call. When +shall it be morn in the grave, to bid the slumberer awake? Farewell, +thou bravest of men! thou conqueror in the field! but the field shall +see thee no more, nor the dark wood be lightened with the splendour +of thy steel. Thou has left no son. The song shall preserve thy name. +Future times shall hear of thee they shall hear of the fallen Morar! + +"The grief of all arose, but most the bursting sigh of Armin. He +remembers the death of his son, who fell in the days of his youth. +Carmor was near the hero, the chief of the echoing Galmal. Why burst the +sigh of Armin? he said. Is there a cause to mourn? The song comes with +its music to melt and please the soul. It is like soft mist that, rising +from a lake, pours on the silent vale; the green flowers are filled with +dew, but the sun returns in his strength, and the mist is gone. Why art +thou sad, O Armin, chief of sea-surrounded Gorma? + +"Sad I am! nor small is my cause of woe! Carmor, thou hast lost no son; +thou hast lost no daughter of beauty. Colgar the valiant lives, and +Annira, fairest maid. The boughs of thy house ascend, O Carmor! but +Armin is the last of his race. Dark is thy bed, O Daura! deep thy sleep +in the tomb! When shalt thou wake with thy songs? with all thy voice of +music? + +"Arise, winds of autumn, arise: blow along the heath. Streams of the +mountains, roar; roar, tempests in the groves of my oaks! Walk through +broken clouds, O moon! show thy pale face at intervals; bring to my mind +the night when all my children fell, when Arindal the mighty fell—when +Daura the lovely failed. Daura, my daughter, thou wert fair, fair as +the moon on Fura, white as the driven snow, sweet as the breathing gale. +Arindal, thy bow was strong, thy spear was swift on the field, thy look +was like mist on the wave, thy shield a red cloud in a storm! Armar, +renowned in war, came and sought Daura's love. He was not long refused: +fair was the hope of their friends. + +"Erath, son of Odgal, repined: his brother had been slain by Armar. He +came disguised like a son of the sea: fair was his cliff on the wave, +white his locks of age, calm his serious brow. Fairest of women, he +said, lovely daughter of Armin! a rock not distant in the sea bears +a tree on its side; red shines the fruit afar. There Armar waits for +Daura. I come to carry his love! she went she called on Armar. Nought +answered, but the son of the rock. Armar, my love, my love! why +tormentest thou me with fear? Hear, son of Arnart, hear! it is Daura who +calleth thee. Erath, the traitor, fled laughing to the land. She lifted +up her voice—she called for her brother and her father. Arindal! Armin! +none to relieve you, Daura. + +"Her voice came over the sea. Arindal, my son, descended from the hill, +rough in the spoils of the chase. His arrows rattled by his side; his +bow was in his hand, five dark-gray dogs attended his steps. He saw +fierce Erath on the shore; he seized and bound him to an oak. Thick wind +the thongs of the hide around his limbs; he loads the winds with his +groans. Arindal ascends the deep in his boat to bring Daura to land. +Armar came in his wrath, and let fly the gray-feathered shaft. It sung, +it sunk in thy heart, O Arindal, my son! for Erath the traitor thou +diest. The oar is stopped at once: he panted on the rock, and expired. +What is thy grief, O Daura, when round thy feet is poured thy brother's +blood. The boat is broken in twain. Armar plunges into the sea to rescue +his Daura, or die. Sudden a blast from a hill came over the waves; he +sank, and he rose no more. + +"Alone, on the sea-beat rock, my daughter was heard to complain; +frequent and loud were her cries. What could her father do? All night I +stood on the shore: I saw her by the faint beam of the moon. All night +I heard her cries. Loud was the wind; the rain beat hard on the hill. +Before morning appeared, her voice was weak; it died away like the +evening breeze among the grass of the rocks. Spent with grief, she +expired, and left thee, Armin, alone. Gone is my strength in war, fallen +my pride among women. When the storms aloft arise, when the north lifts +the wave on high, I sit by the sounding shore, and look on the fatal +rock. + +"Often by the setting moon I see the ghosts of my children; half +viewless they walk in mournful conference together." + +A torrent of tears which streamed from Charlotte's eyes and gave relief +to her bursting heart, stopped Werther's recitation. He threw down the +book, seized her hand, and wept bitterly. Charlotte leaned upon her +hand, and buried her face in her handkerchief: the agitation of both was +excessive. They felt that their own fate was pictured in the misfortunes +of Ossian's heroes, they felt this together, and their tears redoubled. +Werther supported his forehead on Charlotte's arm: she trembled, she +wished to be gone; but sorrow and sympathy lay like a leaden weight upon +her soul. She recovered herself shortly, and begged Werther, with broken +sobs, to leave her, implored him with the utmost earnestness to comply +with her request. He trembled; his heart was ready to burst: then, +taking up the book again, he recommenced reading, in a voice broken by +sobs. + +"Why dost thou waken me, O spring? Thy voice woos me, exclaiming, +I refresh thee with heavenly dews; but the time of my decay is +approaching, the storm is nigh that shall whither my leaves. Tomorrow +the traveller shall come, he shall come, who beheld me in beauty: his +eye shall seek me in the field around, but he shall not find me." + +The whole force of these words fell upon the unfortunate Werther. Full +of despair, he threw himself at Charlotte's feet, seized her hands, and +pressed them to his eyes and to his forehead. An apprehension of +his fatal project now struck her for the first time. Her senses were +bewildered: she held his hands, pressed them to her bosom; and, leaning +toward him with emotions of the tenderest pity, her warm cheek touched +his. They lost sight of everything. The world disappeared from their +eyes. He clasped her in his arms, strained her to his bosom, and covered +her trembling lips with passionate kisses. "Werther!" she cried with a +faint voice, turning herself away; "Werther!" and, with a feeble hand, +she pushed him from her. At length, with the firm voice of virtue, she +exclaimed, "Werther!" He resisted not, but, tearing himself from her +arms, fell on his knees before her. Charlotte rose, and, with disordered +grief, in mingled tones of love and resentment, she exclaimed, "It is +the last time, Werther! You shall never see me any more!" Then, casting +one last, tender look upon her unfortunate lover, she rushed into the +adjoining room, and locked the door. Werther held out his arms, but +did not dare to detain her. He continued on the ground, with his head +resting on the sofa, for half an hour, till he heard a noise which +brought him to his senses. The servant entered. He then walked up and +down the room; and, when he was again left alone, he went to Charlotte's +door, and, in a low voice, said, "Charlotte, Charlotte! but one word +more, one last adieu!" She returned no answer. He stopped, and listened +and entreated; but all was silent. At length he tore himself from the +place, crying, "Adieu, Charlotte, adieu for ever!" + +Werther ran to the gate of the town. The guards, who knew him, let him +pass in silence. The night was dark and stormy,—it rained and snowed. +He reached his own door about eleven. His servant, although seeing him +enter the house without his hat, did not venture to say anything; and; +as he undressed his master, he found that his clothes were wet. His hat +was afterward found on the point of a rock overhanging the valley; and +it is inconceivable how he could have climbed to the summit on such a +dark, tempestuous night without losing his life. + +He retired to bed, and slept to a late hour. The next morning his +servant, upon being called to bring his coffee, found him writing. He +was adding, to Charlotte, what we here annex. + +"For the last, last time I open these eyes. Alas! they will behold the +sun no more. It is covered by a thick, impenetrable cloud. Yes, Nature! +put on mourning: your child, your friend, your lover, draws near his +end! This thought, Charlotte, is without parallel; and yet it seems +like a mysterious dream when I repeat—this is my last day! The last! +Charlotte, no word can adequately express this thought. The last! To-day +I stand erect in all my strength to-morrow, cold and stark, I shall lie +extended upon the ground. To die! what is death? We do but dream in our +discourse upon it. I have seen many human beings die; but, so straitened +is our feeble nature, we have no clear conception of the beginning or +the end of our existence. At this moment I am my own—or rather I am +thine, thine, my adored! and the next we are parted, severed—perhaps +for ever! No, Charlotte, no! How can I, how can you, be annihilated? We +exist. What is annihilation? A mere word, an unmeaning sound that fixes +no impression on the mind. Dead, Charlotte! laid in the cold earth, in +the dark and narrow grave! I had a friend once who was everything to me +in early youth. She died. I followed her hearse; I stood by her grave +when the coffin was lowered; and when I heard the creaking of the cords +as they were loosened and drawn up, when the first shovelful of earth +was thrown in, and the coffin returned a hollow sound, which grew +fainter and fainter till all was completely covered over, I threw myself +on the ground; my heart was smitten, grieved, shattered, rent—but I +neither knew what had happened, nor what was to happen to me. Death! +the grave! I understand not the words.—Forgive, oh, forgive me! +Yesterday—ah, that day should have been the last of my life! Thou +angel! for the first time in my existence, I felt rapture glow within +my inmost soul. She loves, she loves me! Still burns upon my lips the +sacred fire they received from thine. New torrents of delight overwhelm +my soul. Forgive me, oh, forgive! + +"I knew that I was dear to you; I saw it in your first entrancing look, +knew it by the first pressure of your hand; but when I was absent from +you, when I saw Albert at your side, my doubts and fears returned. + +"Do you remember the flowers you sent me, when, at that crowded +assembly, you could neither speak nor extend your hand to me? Half the +night I was on my knees before those flowers, and I regarded them as the +pledges of your love; but those impressions grew fainter, and were at +length effaced. + +"Everything passes away; but a whole eternity could not extinguish the +living flame which was yesterday kindled by your lips, and which now +burns within me. She loves me! These arms have encircled her waist, +these lips have trembled upon hers. She is mine! Yes, Charlotte, you are +mine for ever! + +"And what do they mean by saying Albert is your husband? He may be so +for this world; and in this world it is a sin to love you, to wish +to tear you from his embrace. Yes, it is a crime; and I suffer the +punishment, but I have enjoyed the full delight of my sin. I have +inhaled a balm that has revived my soul. From this hour you are mine; +yes, Charlotte, you are mine! I go before you. I go to my Father and to +your Father. I will pour out my sorrows before him, and he will give me +comfort till you arrive. Then will I fly to meet you. I will claim you, +and remain your eternal embrace, in the presence of the Almighty. + +"I do not dream, I do not rave. Drawing nearer to the grave my +perceptions become clearer. We shall exist; we shall see each other +again; we shall behold your mother; I shall behold her, and expose to +her my inmost heart. Your mother—your image!" + +About eleven o'clock Werther asked his servant if Albert had returned. +He answered, "Yes;" for he had seen him pass on horseback: upon which +Werther sent him the following note, unsealed: + +"Be so good as to lend me your pistols for a journey. Adieu." + +Charlotte had slept little during the past night. All her apprehensions +were realised in a way that she could neither foresee nor avoid. Her +blood was boiling in her veins, and a thousand painful sensations rent +her pure heart. Was it the ardour of Werther's passionate embraces that +she felt within her bosom? Was it anger at his daring? Was it the sad +comparison of her present condition with former days of innocence, +tranquillity, and self-confidence? How could she approach her husband, +and confess a scene which she had no reason to conceal, and which she +yet felt, nevertheless, unwilling to avow? They had preserved so long a +silence toward each other and should she be the first to break it by so +unexpected a discovery? She feared that the mere statement of Werther's +visit would trouble him, and his distress would be heightened by her +perfect candour. She wished that he could see her in her true light, and +judge her without prejudice; but was she anxious that he should read her +inmost soul? On the other hand, could she deceive a being to whom all +her thoughts had ever been exposed as clearly as crystal, and from whom +no sentiment had ever been concealed? These reflections made her anxious +and thoughtful. Her mind still dwelt on Werther, who was now lost to +her, but whom she could not bring herself to resign, and for whom she +knew nothing was left but despair if she should be lost to him for ever. + +A recollection of that mysterious estrangement which had lately +subsisted between herself and Albert, and which she could never +thoroughly understand, was now beyond measure painful to her. Even the +prudent and the good have before now hesitated to explain their mutual +differences, and have dwelt in silence upon their imaginary grievances, +until circumstances have become so entangled, that in that critical +juncture, when a calm explanation would have saved all parties, an +understanding was impossible. And thus if domestic confidence had been +earlier established between them, if love and kind forbearance had +mutually animated and expanded their hearts, it might not, perhaps, even +yet have been too late to save our friend. + +But we must not forget one remarkable circumstance. We may observe from +the character of Werther's correspondence, that he had never affected +to conceal his anxious desire to quit this world. He had often discussed +the subject with Albert; and, between the latter and Charlotte, it had +not unfrequently formed a topic of conversation. Albert was so opposed +to the very idea of such an action, that, with a degree of irritation +unusual in him, he had more than once given Werther to understand that +he doubted the seriousness of his threats, and not only turned them into +ridicule, but caused Charlotte to share his feelings of incredulity. +Her heart was thus tranquillised when she felt disposed to view +the melancholy subject in a serious point of view, though she never +communicated to her husband the apprehensions she sometimes experienced. + +Albert, upon his return, was received by Charlotte with ill-concealed +embarrassment. He was himself out of humour; his business was +unfinished; and he had just discovered that the neighbouring official +with whom he had to deal, was an obstinate and narrow-minded personage. +Many things had occurred to irritate him. + +He inquired whether anything had happened during his absence, and +Charlotte hastily answered that Werther had been there on the evening +previously. He then inquired for his letters, and was answered that +several packages had been left in his study. He thereon retired, leaving +Charlotte alone. + +The presence of the being she loved and honoured produced a new +impression on her heart. The recollection of his generosity, kindness, +and affection had calmed her agitation: a secret impulse prompted her +to follow him; she took her work and went to his study, as was often +her custom. He was busily employed opening and reading his letters. +It seemed as if the contents of some were disagreeable. She asked some +questions: he gave short answers, and sat down to write. + +Several hours passed in this manner, and Charlotte's feelings became +more and more melancholy. She felt the extreme difficulty of explaining +to her husband, under any circumstances, the weight that lay upon her +heart; and her depression became every moment greater, in proportion as +she endeavoured to hide her grief, and to conceal her tears. + +The arrival of Werther's servant occasioned her the greatest +embarrassment. He gave Albert a note, which the latter coldly handed to +his wife, saying, at the same time, "Give him the pistols. I wish him +a pleasant journey," he added, turning to the servant. These words +fell upon Charlotte like a thunderstroke: she rose from her seat +half-fainting, and unconscious of what she did. She walked mechanically +toward the wall, took down the pistols with a trembling hand, slowly +wiped the dust from them, and would have delayed longer, had not Albert +hastened her movements by an impatient look. She then delivered the +fatal weapons to the servant, without being able to utter a word. As +soon as he had departed, she folded up her work, and retired at once +to her room, her heart overcome with the most fearful forebodings. She +anticipated some dreadful calamity. She was at one moment on the point +of going to her husband, throwing herself at his feet, and acquainting +him with all that had happened on the previous evening, that she might +acknowledge her fault, and explain her apprehensions; then she saw that +such a step would be useless, as she would certainly be unable to induce +Albert to visit Werther. Dinner was served; and a kind friend whom she +had persuaded to remain assisted to sustain the conversation, which was +carried on by a sort of compulsion, till the events of the morning were +forgotten. + +When the servant brought the pistols to Werther, the latter received +them with transports of delight upon hearing that Charlotte had given +them to him with her own hand. He ate some bread, drank some wine, sent +his servant to dinner, and then sat down to write as follows: + +"They have been in your hands you wiped the dust from them. I kiss them +a thousand times—you have touched them. Yes, Heaven favours my design, +and you, Charlotte, provide me with the fatal instruments. It was my +desire to receive my death from your hands, and my wish is gratified. +I have made inquiries of my servant. You trembled when you gave him the +pistols, but you bade me no adieu. Wretched, wretched that I am—not one +farewell! How could you shut your heart against me in that hour which +makes you mine for ever? Charlotte, ages cannot efface the impression—I +feel you cannot hate the man who so passionately loves you!" + +After dinner he called his servant, desired him to finish the packing +up, destroyed many papers, and then went out to pay some trifling debts. +He soon returned home, then went out again, notwithstanding the rain, +walked for some time in the count's garden, and afterward proceeded +farther into the country. Toward evening he came back once more, and +resumed his writing. + +"Wilhelm, I have for the last time beheld the mountains, the forests, +and the sky. Farewell! And you, my dearest mother, forgive me! Console +her, Wilhelm. God bless you! I have settled all my affairs! Farewell! We +shall meet again, and be happier than ever." + +"I have requited you badly, Albert; but you will forgive me. I have +disturbed the peace of your home. I have sowed distrust between you. +Farewell! I will end all this wretchedness. And oh, that my death +may render you happy! Albert, Albert! make that angel happy, and the +blessing of Heaven be upon you!" + +He spent the rest of the evening in arranging his papers: he tore and +burned a great many; others he sealed up, and directed to Wilhelm. +They contained some detached thoughts and maxims, some of which I have +perused. At ten o'clock he ordered his fire to be made up, and a bottle +of wine to be brought to him. He then dismissed his servant, whose room, +as well as the apartments of the rest of the family, was situated in +another part of the house. The servant lay down without undressing, that +he might be the sooner ready for his journey in the morning, his master +having informed him that the post-horses would be at the door before six +o'clock. + +"Past eleven o'clock! All is silent around me, and my soul is calm. I +thank thee, O God, that thou bestowest strength and courage upon me in +these last moments! I approach the window, my dearest of friends; and +through the clouds, which are at this moment driven rapidly along by the +impetuous winds, I behold the stars which illumine the eternal heavens. +No, you will not fall, celestial bodies: the hand of the Almighty +supports both you and me! I have looked for the last time upon the +constellation of the Greater Bear: it is my favourite star; for when +I bade you farewell at night, Charlotte, and turned my steps from your +door, it always shone upon me. With what rapture have I at times beheld +it! How often have I implored it with uplifted hands to witness my +felicity! and even still—But what object is there, Charlotte, which +fails to summon up your image before me? Do you not surround me on all +sides? and have I not, like a child, treasured up every trifle which you +have consecrated by your touch? + +"Your profile, which was so dear to me, I return to you; and I pray +you to preserve it. Thousands of kisses have I imprinted upon it, and a +thousand times has it gladdened my heart on departing from and returning +to my home. + +"I have implored your father to protect my remains. At the corner of the +churchyard, looking toward the fields, there are two lime-trees—there +I wish to lie. Your father can, and doubtless will, do this much for his +friend. Implore it of him. But perhaps pious Christians will not choose +that their bodies should be buried near the corpse of a poor, unhappy +wretch like me. Then let me be laid in some remote valley, or near the +highway, where the priest and Levite may bless themselves as they pass +by my tomb, whilst the Samaritan will shed a tear for my fate. + +"See, Charlotte, I do not shudder to take the cold and fatal cup, from +which I shall drink the draught of death. Your hand presents it to me, +and I do not tremble. All, all is now concluded: the wishes and the +hopes of my existence are fulfilled. With cold, unflinching hand I knock +at the brazen portals of Death. Oh, that I had enjoyed the bliss of +dying for you! how gladly would I have sacrificed myself for you; +Charlotte! And could I but restore peace and joy to your bosom, with +what resolution, with what joy, would I not meet my fate! But it is the +lot of only a chosen few to shed their blood for their friends, and by +their death to augment, a thousand times, the happiness of those by whom +they are beloved. + +"I wish, Charlotte, to be buried in the dress I wear at present: it has +been rendered sacred by your touch. I have begged this favour of your +father. My spirit soars above my sepulchre. I do not wish my pockets to +be searched. The knot of pink ribbon which you wore on your bosom +the first time I saw you, surrounded by the children—Oh, kiss them a +thousand times for me, and tell them the fate of their unhappy friend! I +think I see them playing around me. The dear children! How warmly have +I been attached to you, Charlotte! Since the first hour I saw you, how +impossible have I found it to leave you. This ribbon must be buried +with me: it was a present from you on my birthday. How confused it all +appears! Little did I then think that I should journey this road. But +peace! I pray you, peace! + +"They are loaded—the clock strikes twelve. I say amen. Charlotte, +Charlotte! farewell, farewell!" + +A neighbour saw the flash, and heard the report of the pistol; but, as +everything remained quiet, he thought no more of it. + +In the morning, at six o'clock, the servant went into Werther's room +with a candle. He found his master stretched upon the floor, weltering +in his blood, and the pistols at his side. He called, he took him in +his arms, but received no answer. Life was not yet quite extinct. The +servant ran for a surgeon, and then went to fetch Albert. Charlotte +heard the ringing of the bell: a cold shudder seized her. She wakened +her husband, and they both rose. The servant, bathed in tears faltered +forth the dreadful news. Charlotte fell senseless at Albert's feet. + +When the surgeon came to the unfortunate Werther, he was still lying +on the floor; and his pulse beat, but his limbs were cold. The bullet, +entering the forehead, over the right eye, had penetrated the skull. A +vein was opened in his right arm: the blood came, and he still continued +to breathe. + +From the blood which flowed from the chair, it could be inferred that he +had committed the rash act sitting at his bureau, and that he afterward +fell upon the floor. He was found lying on his back near the window. He +was in full-dress costume. + +The house, the neighbourhood, and the whole town were immediately in +commotion. Albert arrived. They had laid Werther on the bed: his head +was bound up, and the paleness of death was upon his face. His limbs +were motionless; but he still breathed, at one time strongly, then +weaker—his death was momently expected. + +He had drunk only one glass of the wine. "Emilia Galotti" lay open upon +his bureau. + +I shall say nothing of Albert's distress, or of Charlotte's grief. + +The old steward hastened to the house immediately upon hearing the news: +he embraced his dying friend amid a flood of tears. His eldest boys +soon followed him on foot. In speechless sorrow they threw themselves on +their knees by the bedside, and kissed his hands and face. The eldest, +who was his favourite, hung over him till he expired; and even then he +was removed by force. At twelve o'clock Werther breathed his last. The +presence of the steward, and the precautions he had adopted, prevented +a disturbance; and that night, at the hour of eleven, he caused the body +to be interred in the place which Werther had selected for himself. + +The steward and his sons followed the corpse to the grave. Albert was +unable to accompany them. Charlotte's life was despaired of. The body +was carried by labourers. No priest attended. + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 2527 *** |