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+    <title>
+      The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Honourable Mr. Tawnish, by Jeffery Farnol.
+    </title>
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+<pre>
+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Honourable Mr. Tawnish, by Jeffery Farnol
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Honourable Mr. Tawnish
+
+Author: Jeffery Farnol
+
+Illustrator: Charles E. Brock
+
+Release Date: March 27, 2008 [EBook #24922]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE HONOURABLE MR. TAWNISH ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Bernd Meyer, Suzanne Shell and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+
+
+<div class="figcenter">
+<img src="images/cover001.jpg"
+  width="353" height="563" alt="Cover" title="Cover" />
+</div>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_1" id="Page_1">[Pg 1]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter">
+<img src="images/col001.jpg"
+  width="341" height="479" alt="Frontispiece." title="Frontispiece" />
+</div>
+<div class="center">Very slowly Sir Harry obeyed, swearing frightfully.<br />&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <i>Frontispiece. See page 104</i>.</div>
+
+
+<p class="p3br"></p>
+<h1>THE HONOURABLE<br />MR. TAWNISH</h1>
+<p class="p3br center" style="font-size:0.8em">BY</p>
+<p class="center" style="font-size:1.5em">JEFFERY FARNOL</p>
+<br />
+<p class="center"><span class="smcap">Author of "The Broad Highway," and<br />
+"The Amateur Gentleman"</span></p>
+<p class="p3br center">WITH ILLUSTRATIONS BY<br />
+CHARLES E. BROCK</p>
+<p class="p5br center">BOSTON<br />
+LITTLE, BROWN, AND COMPANY<br />
+1913</p>
+
+
+<p class="p9br center"><i>Copyright</i>, 1913,<br />
+<span class="smcap">By Little, Brown, and Company.</span></p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p class="center"><i>All rights reserved</i></p>
+
+<p class="p2br center">Published, October, 1913</p>
+
+
+<p class="p9br center">                  THE UNIVERSITY PRESS, CAMBRIDGE, U.S.A.</p>
+
+<p class="p9br center" style="font-size:0.8em">To</p>
+
+<p class="center" style="font-size:1.5em">DOROTHY</p>
+
+<p class="center">THE BEST AND GENTLEST OF SISTERS</p>
+
+<p class="center">THE TRUEST AND BRAVEST OF COMRADES</p>
+
+<p class="center">I DEDICATE THIS BOOK</p>
+
+<p class="center">&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;JEFFREY FARNOL</p>
+
+<p class="center"><span class="smcap">London</span>, August 28, 1913&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;</p>
+
+<p class="p9br"></p>
+
+<h2>CONTENTS</h2>
+
+<br />
+
+<span class="smcap">Chapter</span>      <span class="ralign smcap">Page</span>
+
+<ul class="roman">
+
+<li>Introducing Mr. Tawnish, and what
+      befell at "The Chequers"              <span class="ralign"><a href="#Page_10">1</a></span></li>
+
+<li>Of the further astonishing conduct of
+      the said Mr. Tawnish                  <span class="ralign"><a href="#Page_50">39</a></span></li>
+
+<li>Of a Flight of Steps, a Stirrup, and a
+      Stone                              <span class="ralign"><a href="#Page_81">70</a></span></li>
+
+<li>Of how We fell in with a Highwayman
+      at the Cross Roads                 <span class="ralign"><a href="#Page_100">87</a></span></li>
+
+<li>Concerning the true Identity of our
+      Highwayman                         <span class="ralign"><a href="#Page_126">113</a></span></li>
+
+<li>Of the Dawning of Christmas Day  <span class="ralign"><a href="#Page_136">123</a></span></li>
+
+<li>Which deals, among other Matters,
+      with the Ring of Steel                   <span class="ralign"><a href="#Page_145">132</a></span></li>
+
+<li>Wherein the Truth of the old Adage
+      is made manifest&mdash;to wit: All's
+      well that ends well                  <span class="ralign"><a href="#Page_165">152</a></span></li>
+</ul>
+
+
+<p class="p9br"></p>
+
+
+<h2>LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS</h2>
+
+<br />
+
+<ul class="none">
+
+<li>Very slowly, Sir Harry obeyed, swearing
+frightfully                                           <span class="ralign"><a href="#Page_1"><i>Frontispiece</i></a></span></li>
+
+<li>"I believe I have the felicity of addressing
+Sir John Chester?"                                          <span class="ralign smcap"><span class="smcap">Page</span> <a href="#Page_22">12</a></span></li>
+
+<li>"Oh! Ha! Hum!" says Bentley, "Did
+Jack tell you all that, Pen?"                                   <span class="ralign"><a href="#Page_92">80</a></span></li>
+
+<li>"Father," says she, "this is my husband&mdash;and
+I am proud to tell you so                                      <span class="ralign"><a href="#Page_172">159</a></span></li>
+
+</ul>
+
+<p class="p9br"><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[Pg 10]</a></span></p>
+
+<p class="p5br"></p>
+
+<h1>THE HONOURABLE<br />
+MR. TAWNISH</h1>
+
+<p class="p3br center smcap" style="font-size:1.5em">Chapter One</p>
+
+<p class="center" style="font-size:1.2em"><i>Introducing Mr. Tawnish, and what befell<br />
+at "The Chequers"</i></p>
+
+<p class="p2br"></p>
+
+<p>Myself and Bentley, who, though a good fellow in many ways, is yet a
+fool in more (hence the prominence of the personal pronoun, for, as
+every one knows, a fool should give place to his betters)&mdash;myself and
+Bentley, then, were riding home from Hadlow, whither we had been to
+witness a dog-fight (and I may say a better fight I never saw, the dog I
+had backed disabling his opponent very effectively in something less
+than three-quarters of an hour&mdash;whereby Bentley owes me a hundred
+guineas)&mdash;we were riding home as I say, and were within a half-mile or
+so of Tonbridge, when young Harry Raikes came up behind us at his usual
+wild gallop, and passing with a curt nod, disappeared down the hill in a
+cloud of dust.</p>
+
+<p>"Were I but ten years younger," says I, looking after him, "Tonbridge
+Town would be too small to hold yonder fellow and myself&mdash;he is becoming
+a positive pest."</p>
+
+<p>"True," says Bentley, "he's forever embroiling some one or other."</p>
+
+<p>"Only last week," says I, "while you were away in London, he ran young
+Richards through the lungs over some triviality, and they say he lies
+a-dying."</p>
+
+<p>"Poor lad! poor lad!" says Bentley. "I mind, too, there was Tom
+Adams&mdash;shot dead in the Miller's Field not above a month ago; and before
+that, young Oatlands, and many others besides&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Egad," says I, "but I've a great mind to call 'out' the bully myself."</p>
+
+<p>"Pooh!" says Bentley, "the fellow's a past master at either weapon."</p>
+
+<p>"If you will remember, there was a time when I was accounted no mean
+performer either, Bentley."</p>
+
+<p>"Pooh!" says Bentley, "leave it to a younger man&mdash;myself, for instance."</p>
+
+<p>"Why, there is but a month or two betwixt us," says I.</p>
+
+<p>"Six months and four days," says he in his dogged fashion; "besides," he
+went on, argumentatively, "should it come to small-swords, you are a
+good six inches shorter in the reach than Raikes; now as for me&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"You!" says I, "Should it come to pistols you could not help but stop a
+bullet with your vast bulk."</p>
+
+<p>Hereupon Bentley must needs set himself to prove that a big man offered
+no better target than a more diminutive one, all of which was of course
+but the purest folly, as I very plainly showed him, whereat he fell
+a-whistling of the song "Lillibuleero" (as is his custom ever, when at
+all hipped or put out in any way). And so we presently came to the
+cross-roads. Now it has been our custom for the past twelve years to
+finish the day with a game of picquet with our old friend Jack Chester,
+so that it had become quite an institution, so to speak. What was our
+surprise then to see Jack himself upon his black mare, waiting for us
+beneath the finger-post. That he was in one of his passions was evident
+from the acute angle of his hat and wig, and as we approached we could
+hear him swearing to himself.</p>
+
+<p>"Bet you fifty it's his daughter," says Bentley.</p>
+
+<p>"Done!" says I, promptly.</p>
+
+<p>"How now, Jack?" says Bentley, as we shook hands.</p>
+
+<p>"May the Devil anoint me!" growled Jack.</p>
+
+<p>"Belike he will," says Bentley.</p>
+
+<p>"Here's an infernal state of affairs!" says Jack, frowning up the road,
+his hat and wig very much over one eye.</p>
+
+<p>"Why, what's to do?" says I.</p>
+
+<p>"Do?" says he, rapping out three oaths in quick succession&mdash;"do?&mdash;the
+devil and all's to do!"</p>
+
+<p>"Make it a hundred?" says Bentley aside.</p>
+
+<p>"Done!" says I.</p>
+
+<p>"To think," groans Jack, blowing out his cheeks and striking himself a
+violent blow in the chest, "to think of a pale-faced, pranked-out,
+spindle-shanked, mealy-mouthed popinjay like him!"</p>
+
+<p>"Him?" says I, questioningly.</p>
+
+<p>"Aye&mdash;him!" snaps Jack, with another oath.</p>
+
+<p>"Make it a hundred and fifty, Bentley?" says I softly.</p>
+
+<p>"Agreed!" says Bentley.</p>
+
+<p>"To think," says Jack again, "of a prancing puppy-dog, a walking
+clothes-pole like him&mdash;and she loves him, sir!"</p>
+
+<p>"She?" repeated Bentley, and chuckled.</p>
+
+<p>"Aye, she, sir," roared Jack; "to think after the way we have brought
+her up, after all our care of her, that she should go and fall in love
+with a dancing, dandified nincompoop, all powder and patches. Why damme!
+the wench is run stark, staring mad. Egad! a nice situation for a loving
+and affectionate father to be placed in!"</p>
+
+<p>"Father?" says I.</p>
+
+<p>"Aye, father, sir," roars Jack again, "though I would to heaven Penelope
+had some one else to father her&mdash;the jade!"</p>
+
+<p>"What!" says I, unheeding Bentley's leering triumph (Bentley never wins
+but he must needs show it) "what, is Penelope&mdash;fallen in love with
+somebody?"</p>
+
+<p>"Why don't I tell you?" cries Jack, "don't I tell you that I found a set
+of verses&mdash;actually poetry, that the jackanapes had written her?"</p>
+
+<p>"Did you tax her with the discovery?" says I.</p>
+
+<p>"To be sure I did, and the minx owned her love for him&mdash;vowed she'd
+never wed another, and positively told me she liked the poetry stuff.
+After that, as you may suppose, I came away; had I stayed I won't answer
+for it but that I might have boxed the jade's ears. Oh, egad, a pretty
+business!"</p>
+
+<p>"And I thought we had settled she was to marry Bentley's nephew Horace
+some day," says I, as we turned into the High Street.</p>
+
+<p>"It seems she has determined otherwise&mdash;the vixen; and a likely lad,
+too, as I remember him," says Jack, shaking his head.</p>
+
+<p>"Where is he now, Bentley?" says I.</p>
+
+<p>"Humph!" says Bentley, thoughtfully. "His last letter was writ from
+Venice."</p>
+
+<p>"Aye, that's it," says Jack, "while he's gadding abroad, this mincing,
+languid ass, this&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"What did you say was the fellow's name?" says I.</p>
+
+<p>"Tawnish!" says Jack, making a wry face over it, "the Honourable Horatio
+Tawnish. Come, Dick and Bentley, what shall we do in the matter?"</p>
+
+<p>"Speaking for myself," I returned, "it's devilish hard to determine."</p>
+
+<p>"And speaking for us all," says Bentley, "suppose we thrash out the
+question over a bottle of wine?" and swinging into the yard of "The
+Chequers" hard by, he dismounted and led the way to the sanded parlour.</p>
+
+<p>We found it empty (as it usually is at this hour) save for a solitary
+individual who lounged upon one of the settles, staring into the fire.</p>
+
+<p>He was a gentleman of middling height and very slenderly built, with a
+pair of dreamy blue eyes set in the oval of a face whose pallor was
+rendered more effective by a patch at the corner of his mouth. His coat,
+of a fine blue satin laced with silver, sat upon him with scarce a
+wrinkle (the which especially recommended itself to me); white satin
+small-clothes and silk stockings of the same hue, with silver-buckled,
+red-heeled shoes, completed a costume of an elegance seldom seen out of
+London. I noticed also that his wig, carefully powdered and ironed, was
+of the very latest French mode (vastly different to the rough scratch
+wigs usually affected by the gentry hereabouts), while the
+three-cornered hat upon the table at his elbow was edged with the very
+finest point. Altogether, there was about him a certain delicate air
+that reminded me of my own vanished youth, and I sighed. As I took my
+seat, yet wondering who this fine gentleman might be, Jack seized me
+suddenly by the arm.</p>
+
+<p>"Look!" says he in my ear, "damme, there sits the fellow!"</p>
+
+<p>Turning my head, I saw that the gentleman had risen, and he now tripped
+towards us, his toes carefully pointed, while a small, gold-mounted
+walking cane dangled from his wrist by a riband.</p>
+
+<p>"I believe," says he, speaking in a soft, affected voice, "I believe I
+have the felicity of addressing Sir John Chester?"</p>
+
+<p>"The same, sir," said Jack, rising, "and, sir, I wish a word with you."
+Here, however, remembering myself and Bentley, he introduced us&mdash;though
+in a very perfunctory fashion, to be sure.</p>
+
+<p>"Sir John," says Mr. Tawnish, "your very obedient humble;
+gentlemen&mdash;yours," and he bowed deeply to each of us in turn, with a
+prodigious flourish of the laced hat.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter">
+<img src="images/col002.jpg" width="338" height="478" alt="Page 12." title="Page 12." />
+</div>
+<div class="center">"I believe I have the felicity of addressing<br />Sir John Chester?"&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>Page 12</i>.</div>
+
+<p>"I repeat, Sir," says Jack, returning
+his bow, very stiff in the back, "I repeat, I would have a word with
+you."</p>
+
+<p>"On my soul, I protest you do me too much honour!" he murmured&mdash;"shall
+we sit?" Jack nodded, and Mr. Tawnish sank into a chair between myself
+and Bentley.</p>
+
+<p>"Delightful weather we are having," says he, breaking in upon a somewhat
+awkward pause, "though they do tell me the country needs rain most
+damnably!"</p>
+
+<p>"Mr. Tawnish," says Jack, giving himself a sudden thump in the chest, "I
+have no mind to talk to you of the weather."</p>
+
+<p>"No?" says Mr. Tawnish, with a tinge of surprise in his gentle voice,
+"why then, I'm not particular myself, Sir John&mdash;there are a host of
+other matters&mdash;horses and dogs, for instance."</p>
+
+<p>"The devil take your horses and dogs, sir!" cries Jack.</p>
+
+<p>"Willingly," says Mr. Tawnish, "to speak the truth I grow something
+tired of them myself; there seems very little else talked of
+hereabouts."</p>
+
+<p>"Mr. Tawnish," says Jack, beginning to lose his temper despite my
+admonitory frown, "the matter on which I would speak to you is my
+daughter, sir, the Lady Penelope."</p>
+
+<p>"What&mdash;here, Sir John?" cries Mr. Tawnish, in a horrified tone, "in the
+tap of an inn, with a&mdash;pink my immortal soul!&mdash;a sanded floor, and the
+very air nauseous with the reek of filthy tobacco? No, no, Sir John,
+indeed, keep to horses and dogs, I beg of you; 'tis a subject more in
+harmony with such surroundings."</p>
+
+<p>"Now look you, sir," says Jack, blowing out his cheeks, "'tis a good
+enough place for what I have to say to you, sanded floor or no, and I
+promise it shall not detain you long."</p>
+
+<p>Hereupon Jack rose with a snort of anger, and began pacing to and fro,
+striking himself most severely several times, while Mr. Tawnish, drawing
+out a very delicate, enamelled snuff-box, helped himself to a leisurely
+pinch, and regarded him with a mild astonishment.</p>
+
+<p>"Sir," says Jack, turning suddenly with a click of spurred heels, "you
+are in the habit of writing poetry?"</p>
+
+<p>The patch at the corner of the Honourable Horatio's mouth quivered for
+a moment. "Really, my dear Sir John&mdash;" he began.</p>
+
+<p>"You sent a set of verses to my daughter, sir," Jack broke in, "well,
+damme, sir, I don't like poetry!"</p>
+
+<p>"I do not doubt it for a moment, sir," says Mr. Tawnish, "but these were
+written, if you remember, to&mdash;the lady."</p>
+
+<p>"Exactly," cries Jack, "and you will understand, sir, that I forbid
+poetry, once and for all&mdash;curse me, sir, I'll not permit it!"</p>
+
+<p>"This new French sauce that London is gone mad over is a thought too
+strong of garlic, to my thinking," says Mr. Tawnish, flicking a stray
+grain of snuff from his cravat. "You will, I think, agree with me, Sir
+John, that to a delicate palate&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"The devil anoint your French sauce, sir," cries Jack, in a fury, "who's
+talking of French sauces?"</p>
+
+<p>"My very dear Sir John," says Mr. Tawnish, with an engaging smile, "when
+one topic becomes at all&mdash;strained, shall we say?&mdash;I esteem it the wiser
+course to change the subject, having frequently proved it to have
+certain soothing and calming effects&mdash;hence my sauce."</p>
+
+<p>Here Bentley sneezed and coughed both together and came nigh choking
+outright (a highly dangerous thing in one of his weight), which
+necessitated my loosening his steenkirk and thumping him betwixt the
+shoulder-blades, while Jack strode up and down, swearing under his
+breath, and Mr. Tawnish took another pinch of snuff.</p>
+
+<p>"French sauce, by heaven!" cries Jack suddenly, "did any man ever hear
+the like of it?&mdash;French sauce!" and herewith he snatched off his wig and
+trampled upon it, and Bentley choked himself purple again. I will admit
+that Jack's round bullet head, with its close-cropped, grizzled hair
+standing on end, would have been a whimsical, not to say laughable sight
+in any other (Bentley for instance)&mdash;but Jack in a rage is no laughable
+matter.</p>
+
+<p>"By the Lord, sir," cries he, turning upon Mr. Tawnish, who sat
+cross-legged, regarding everything with the same mild wonderment&mdash;"by
+the Lord! I'd call you out for that French sauce if I thought you were a
+fighting man."</p>
+
+<p>"Heaven forfend!" exclaimed Mr. Tawnish, with a gesture of horror,
+"violence of all kinds is abhorrent to my nature, and I have always
+regarded the duello as a particularly clumsy and illogical method of
+settling a dispute."</p>
+
+<p>Hereupon Jack looked about him in a helpless sort of fashion, as indeed
+well he might, and catching sight of his wig lying in the middle of the
+floor, promptly kicked it into a corner, which seemed to relieve him
+somewhat, for he went to it and, picking it up again, knocked out the
+dust upon his knee, and setting it on very much over one eye, sat
+himself down again, flushed and panting, but calm.</p>
+
+<p>"Mr. Tawnish," says he, "as regards my daughter, I must ask&mdash;nay
+demand&mdash;that you cease your persecution of her once and for all."</p>
+
+<p>"Sir John," says Mr. Tawnish, bowing across the table, "allow me to
+suggest in the most humble and submissive manner, that the word
+'persecution' is perhaps a trifle&mdash;I say just a trifle&mdash;unwarranted."</p>
+
+<p>"Be that as it may, sir, I repeat it, nevertheless," says Jack, "and
+furthermore I must insist that you communicate no more with the Lady
+Penelope either by poetry or&mdash;or any other means."</p>
+
+<p>"Alas!" sighs Mr. Tawnish, "cheat myself as I may, the possibility will
+obtrude itself that you do not look upon my suit with quite the degree
+of warmth I had hoped. Sir, I am not perfect, few of us are, but even
+you will grant that I am not altogether a savage?" As he ended, he
+helped himself to another pinch of snuff with a pretty, delicate air
+such as a lady would use in taking a comfit; indeed his hand, small and
+elegantly shaped, whose whiteness was accentuated by the emerald and
+ruby ring upon his finger, needed no very strong effort of fancy to be
+taken for a woman's outright. I saw Jack's lip curl and his nostrils
+dilate at its very prettiness.</p>
+
+<p>"There be worse things than savages, sir," says he, pointedly.</p>
+
+<p>"Indeed, Sir John, you are very right&mdash;do but hearken to the brutes,"
+says Mr. Tawnish, with lifted finger, as from the floor above came a
+roar of voices singing a merry drinking-catch, with the ring of glasses
+and the stamping of spurred heels. "Hark to 'em," he repeated, with a
+gesture of infinite disgust; "these are creatures the which, having all
+the outward form and semblance of man, yet, being utterly devoid of all
+man's finer qualities, live but to quarrel and fight&mdash;to eat and drink
+and beget their kind&mdash;in which they be vastly prolific, for the world is
+full of such. To-night it would seem they are in a high good humour,
+wherefore they are a trifle more boisterous than usual, indulging
+themselves in these howlings and shoutings, and shall presently drink
+themselves out of what little wit Dame Nature hath bestowed upon 'em,
+and be carted home to bed by their lackeys&mdash;pah!"</p>
+
+<p>"How&mdash;what?" gasps Jack, while I sat staring (very nearly open-mouthed)
+at the cool audacity of the fellow.</p>
+
+<p>"Are you aware, sir," cries Jack, when at last he had regained his
+breath, "that the persons you have been decrying are friends of mine,
+gallant gentlemen all&mdash;aye, sir, damme, and men to boot!&mdash;hard-fighting,
+hard-riding, hard-drinking, six-bottle gentlemen, sir?"</p>
+
+<p>"I fear me my ignorance of country ways hath led me into a grave error,"
+says Mr. Tawnish, with a scarce perceptible shrug of the shoulders;
+"upon second thoughts I grant there is about a man who can put down one
+throat what should suffice for six, something great."</p>
+
+<p>"Or roomy!" adds Bentley, in a strangling voice.</p>
+
+<p>"We are at side issues," says Jack, very red in the face, "the point
+being, that I forbid you my daughter once and for all."</p>
+
+<p>"Might I enquire your very excellent reasons?"</p>
+
+<p>"Plainly, then," returns Jack, hitting himself in the chest again, "the
+Lady Penelope Chester must and shall marry a man, sir."</p>
+
+<p>"Yes," nodded Mr. Tawnish, "a man is generally essential in such cases,
+I believe."</p>
+
+<p>"I say a man, sir," roared Jack, "and, damme, I mean a man, and not a
+clothes-horse or a dancing master, or&mdash;or a French sauce, sir. One who
+will not faint if a dog bark too loudly, nor shiver at sight of a
+pistol, nor pick his way ever by smooth roads. He must be a man, I say,
+able to use a small-sword creditably, who knows one end of a horse from
+another, who can win well but lose better, who can follow the hounds
+over the roughest country and not fall sick for a trifle of mud, nor
+fret a week over a splashed coat&mdash;in a word, he must be a man, sir."</p>
+
+<p>"Alas, what a divine creature is man, after all!" sighs Mr. Tawnish,
+with a shake of the head, "small matter of wonder if I cannot attain
+unto so high an estate; for I beg you to observe that though I am
+tolerably efficient in the use of my weapon" (here he laid his hand
+lightly upon the silver hilt of his small-sword), "though I can tell a
+spavined horse from a sound one, and can lose a trifle without positive
+tears, yet&mdash;and I say it with a sense of my extreme unworthiness&mdash;I have
+an excessive and abiding horror of mud, or dirt in any shape or form.
+But is there no other way, Sir John? In remote times it was the custom
+in such cases to set the lover some arduous task&mdash;some enterprise to try
+his worth. Come now, in justice do the same by me, I beg, and no matter
+how difficult the undertaking, I promise you shall at least find me
+zealous."</p>
+
+<p>"Come, Jack," cries Bentley, suddenly, "smite me, but that's very fair
+and sportsmanlike! How think you, Dick?"</p>
+
+<p>"Why, for once I agree with you, Bentley," says I, "'tis an offer not
+devoid of spirit, and should be accepted as such."</p>
+
+<p>Jack sat down, took two gulps of wine, and rose again.</p>
+
+<p>"Mr. Tawnish," says he, "since these gentlemen are in unison upon the
+matter, and further, knowing they have the good of the Lady Penelope at
+heart as much as I, I will accept your proposition, and we will, each of
+us, set you a task. But, sir, I warn you, do not delude yourself with
+false hopes; you shall not find them over-easy, I'll warrant."</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Tawnish bowed, with the very slightest shrug of his shoulders.</p>
+
+<p>"Firstly, then," Jack began, "you must&mdash;er&mdash;must&mdash;" Here he paused to
+rub his chin and stare at his boots. "Firstly," he began again, "if you
+shall succeed in doing&mdash;" Here his eyes wandered slowly up to the
+rafters, and down again to me. "Curse it, Dick!" he broke off, "what the
+devil must he do?"</p>
+
+<p>"Firstly," I put in, "you must accomplish some feat the which each one
+of us three shall avow to be beyond him."</p>
+
+<p>"Good!" cries Jack, rubbing his hands, "excellent&mdash;so much for the
+first. Secondly&mdash;I say secondly&mdash;er&mdash;ha, yes&mdash;you must make a public
+laughing stock of that quarrelsome puppy, Sir Harry Raikes. Raikes is a
+dangerous fellow and generally pinks his man, sir."</p>
+
+<p>"So they tell me," nodded Mr. Tawnish, jotting down a few lines in his
+memorandum.</p>
+
+<p>"Thirdly," ended Bentley, "you must succeed in placing all three of
+us&mdash;namely, Sir Richard Eden, Sir John Chester, and myself&mdash;together and
+at the same time, at a disadvantage."</p>
+
+<p>"Now, sir," says Jack, complacently, "prove your manhood equal to these
+three tasks, and you shall be free to woo and wed the Lady Penelope
+whenever you will. How say you, Dick and Bentley?"</p>
+
+<p>"Agreed," we replied.</p>
+
+<p>"Indeed, gentlemen," says Mr. Tawnish, glancing at his memoranda with a
+slight frown, "I think the labours of Hercules were scarce to be
+compared to these, yet I do not altogether despair, and to prove to you
+my readiness in the matter, I will, with your permission, go and set
+about the doing of them." With these words he rose, took up his hat, and
+with a most profound obeisance turned to the door.</p>
+
+<p>At this moment, however, there came a trampling of feet upon the stairs,
+another door was thrown open, and in walked Sir Harry Raikes himself,
+followed by D'Arcy and Hammersley, with three or four others whose faces
+were familiar. They were all in boisterous spirits, Sir Harry's florid
+face being flushed more than ordinary with drinking, and there was an
+ugly light in his prominent blue eyes.</p>
+
+<p>Now, it so happened that to reach the street, Mr. Tawnish must pass
+close beside him, and noting this, Sir Harry very evidently placed
+himself full in the way, so that Mr. Tawnish was obliged to step aside
+to avoid a collision; yet even then, Raikes thrust out an elbow in such
+a fashion as to jostle him very unceremoniously. Never have I seen an
+insult more wanton and altogether unprovoked, and we all of us, I
+think, ceased to breathe, waiting for the inevitable to follow.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Tawnish stopped and turned. I saw his delicate brows twitch suddenly
+together, and for a moment his chin seemed more than usually
+prominent&mdash;then all at once he smiled&mdash;positively smiled, and shrugged
+his shoulders with his languid air.</p>
+
+<p>"Sir," says he, with a flash of his white teeth, "it seems they make
+these rooms uncommon small and narrow, for the likes of you and me&mdash;your
+pardon." And so, with a tap, tap, of his high, red-heeled shoes, he
+crossed to the door, descended the steps, turned up the street, and was
+gone.</p>
+
+<p>"He&mdash;he begged the fellow's pardon!" spluttered Jack, purple in the
+face.</p>
+
+<p>"A more disgraceful exhibition was never seen," says I, "the fellow's a
+rank coward!" As for Bentley, he only fumbled with his wine-glass and
+grunted.</p>
+
+<p>The departure of Mr. Tawnish had been the signal for a great burst of
+laughter from the others, in the middle of which Sir Harry strolled up
+to our table, nodding in the insolent manner peculiar to him.</p>
+
+<p>"They tell me," said he, leering round upon us, "they tell me your
+pretty Penelope takes something more than a common interest in yonder
+fop; have a care, Sir John, she's a plaguey skittish filly by the looks
+of her, have a care, or like as not&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>But here his voice was drowned by the noise of our three chairs, as we
+rose.</p>
+
+<p>"Sir Harry Raikes," says I, being the first afoot, "be you drunk or no,
+I must ask you to be a little less personal in your remarks&mdash;d'ye take
+me?"</p>
+
+<p>"What?" cries Raikes, stepping up to me, "do you take it upon yourself
+to teach me a lesson in manners?"</p>
+
+<p>"Aye," says Bentley, edging his vast bulk between us, "a hard task, Sir
+Harry, but you be in sad need of one."</p>
+
+<p>"By God!" cries Raikes, clapping his hand to his small-sword, "is it a
+quarrel you are after? I say again that the wench&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>The table went over with a crash, and Raikes leaped aside only just in
+time, so that Jack's fist shot harmlessly past his temple. Yet so fierce
+had been the blow, that Jack, carried by its very impetus, tripped,
+staggered, and fell heavily to the floor. In an instant myself and
+Bentley were bending over him, and presently got him to his feet, but
+every effort to stand served only to make him wince with pain; yet
+balancing himself upon one leg, supported by our shoulders, he turned
+upon Raikes with a snarl.</p>
+
+<p>"Ha!" says he, "I've long known you for a drunken rascal&mdash;fitter for the
+stocks than the society of honest gentlemen, now I know you for a liar
+besides; could I but stand, you should answer to me this very moment."</p>
+
+<p>"Sir John, if you would indulge me with the pleasure," says I, putting
+back the skirt of my coat from my sword-hilt, "you should find me no
+unworthy substitute, I promise."</p>
+
+<p>"No, no," says Bentley, "being the younger man, I claim this privilege
+myself."</p>
+
+<p>"I thank you both," says Jack, stifling a groan, "but in this affair
+none other can take my place."</p>
+
+<p>Raikes laughed noisily, and crossing the room, fell to picking his teeth
+and talking with his friend, Captain Hammersley, while the others stood
+apart, plainly much perturbed, to judge from their gestures and solemn
+faces. Presently Hammersley rose, and came over to where Jack sat
+betwixt us, swearing and groaning under his breath.</p>
+
+<p>"My dear Sir John," says the Captain, bowing, "in this
+much-to-be-regretted, devilish unpleasant situation, you spoke certain
+words in the heat of the moment which were a trifle&mdash;hasty, shall we
+say? Sir Harry is naturally a little incensed, still, if upon calmer
+consideration you can see your way to retract, I hope&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Retract!" roars Jack, "retract&mdash;not a word, not a syllable; I repeat,
+Sir Harry Raikes is a scoundrel and a liar&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Very good, my dear Sir John," says the Captain, with another bow; "it
+will be small-swords, I presume?"</p>
+
+<p>"They will serve," says Jack.</p>
+
+<p>"And the time and place?"</p>
+
+<p>"Just so soon as I can use this leg of mine," says Jack, "and I know of
+no better place than this room. Any further communication you may have
+to make, you will address to my friend here, Sir Richard Eden, who will,
+I think, act for me?"</p>
+
+<p>"Act for you?" I repeated, in great distress, "yes, yes&mdash;assuredly."</p>
+
+<p>"Then we will leave it thus for the present, Sir John," says the
+Captain, bowing and turning away, "and I trust your foot will speedily
+be well again."</p>
+
+<p>"Which is as much as wishing me speedily dead!" says Jack, with a rueful
+shake of the head. "Raikes is a devil of a fellow and generally pinks
+his man&mdash;eh, Dick and Bentley?"</p>
+
+<p>"Oh, my poor Jack!" sighed Bentley, turning his broad back upon Sir
+Harry, who, having bowed to us very formally, swaggered off with the
+others at his heels.</p>
+
+<p>"Man, Jack," says I, "you'll never fight&mdash;you cannot&mdash;you shall not!"</p>
+
+<p>"Aye, but I shall!" says Jack, grimly.</p>
+
+<p>"'Twill be plain murder!" says Bentley.</p>
+
+<p>"And&mdash;think of Pen!" says I.</p>
+
+<p>"Aye, Pen!" sighed Jack. "My pretty Pen! She'll be lonely awhile,
+methinks, but&mdash;thank God, she'll have you and Bentley still!"</p>
+
+<p>And so, having presently summoned a coach (for Jack's foot was become
+too swollen for the stirrup), we all three of us got in and were driven
+to the Manor. And I must say, a gloomier trio never passed out of
+Tonbridge Town, for it was well known to us that there was no man in all
+the South Country who could stand up to Sir Harry Raikes; and moreover,
+that unless some miracle chanced to stop the meeting, our old friend was
+as surely a dead man as if he already lay in his coffin.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[Pg 50]</a></span></p>
+
+<p class="p3br center smcap" style="font-size:1.5em">Chapter Two</p>
+
+<p class="center" style="font-size:1.1em"><i>Of the further astonishing conduct of the<br />
+said Mr. Tawnish</i></p>
+
+<p class="p2br"></p>
+
+<p>Myself and Bentley were engaged upon our usual morning game of chess,
+when there came a knocking at the door, and my man, Peter, entered.</p>
+
+<p>"Checkmate!" says I.</p>
+
+<p>"No!" says Bentley, castelling.</p>
+
+<p>"Begging your pardon, Sir Richard," says Peter, "but here's a man with a
+message."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh, devil take your man with a message, Peter!&mdash;the game is mine in six
+moves," says I, bringing up my queen's knight.</p>
+
+<p>"No," says Bentley, "steady up the bishop."</p>
+
+<p>"From Sir John Chester," says Peter, holding the note under my nose.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! Sir John Chester&mdash;check!"</p>
+
+<p>"What in the world can Jack want?" says Bentley, reaching for his wig.</p>
+
+<p>"Check!" says I.</p>
+
+<p>"Why, what can have put him out again?" says Bentley, pointing to the
+letter&mdash;"look at the blots."</p>
+
+<p>Jack is a bad enough hand with the pen at all times, but when in a
+passion, his writing is always more or less illegible by reason of the
+numerous blots and smudges; on the present occasion it was very evident
+that he was more put out than usual.</p>
+
+<p>"Some new villainy of the fellow Raikes, you may depend," says I,
+breaking the seal.</p>
+
+<p>"No," says Bentley, "I'll lay you twenty, it refers to young Tawnish."</p>
+
+<p>"Done!" I nodded, and spreading out the paper I read (with no little
+difficulty) as follows:</p>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Dear Dick and Bentley</span>,</p>
+
+<p>Come round and see me at once, for the devil anoint me if I ever
+heard tell the like on't, and more especially after the exhibition
+of a week ago. To my mind, 'tis but a cloak to mask his cowardice,
+as you will both doubtless agree when you shall have read this
+note.</p>
+
+<p class="center">Yours,</p>
+
+<p class="right"><span class="smcap">Jack</span>.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, but where's his meaning? 'Tis ever Jack's way to forget the very
+kernel of news," grumbled Bentley.</p>
+
+<p>"Pooh! 'tis plain enough," says I, "he means Raikes; any but a fool
+would know that."</p>
+
+<p>"Lay you fifty it's Tawnish," says Bentley, in his stubborn way.</p>
+
+<p>"Done!" says I.</p>
+
+<p>"Stay a moment, Dick," says Bentley, as I rose, "what of our Pen,&mdash;she
+hasn't asked you yet how Jack hurt his foot, has she?"</p>
+
+<p>"Not a word."</p>
+
+<p>"Ha!" says Bentley, with a ponderous nod, "which goes to prove she doth
+but think the more, and we must keep the truth from her at all hazards,
+Dick&mdash;she'll know soon enough, poor, dear lass. Now, should she ask
+us&mdash;as ask us she will, 'twere best to have something to tell her&mdash;let's
+say, he slipped somewhere!"</p>
+
+<p>"Aye," I nodded, "we'll tell her he twisted his ankle coming down the
+step at 'The Chequers'&mdash;would to God he had!" So saying, we clapped on
+our hats and sallied out together arm in arm. Jack and I are near
+neighbours, so that a walk of some fifteen minutes brought us to the
+Manor, and proceeding at once to the library, we found him with his leg
+upon a cushion and a bottle of Oporto at his elbow&mdash;a-cursing most
+lustily.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, Jack," says Bentley, as he paused for breath, "and how is the
+leg?"</p>
+
+<p>"Leg!" roars Jack, "leg, sir&mdash;look at it&mdash;useless as a log&mdash;as a cursed
+log of wood, sir&mdash;snapped a tendon&mdash;so Purdy says, but Purdy's a damned
+pessimistic fellow&mdash;the devil anoint all doctors, say I!"</p>
+
+<p>"And pray, what might be the meaning of this note of yours?" and I held
+it out towards him.</p>
+
+<p>"Meaning," cries Jack, "can't you read&mdash;don't I tell you? The
+insufferable insolence of the fellow."</p>
+
+<p>"Faith!" says I, "if it's Raikes you mean, anything is believable of
+him&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Raikes!" roars Jack, louder than ever, "fiddle-de-dee, sir! who
+mentioned that rascal&mdash;you got my note?"</p>
+
+<p>"In which you carefully made mention of no one."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, I meant to, and that's all the difference."</p>
+
+<p>"To be sure," added Bentley,&mdash;"it's young Tawnish; anybody but a fool
+would know that."</p>
+
+<p>"To be sure," nodded Jack. "Dick," says he, turning upon me suddenly,
+"Dick, could you have passed over such an insult as we saw Raikes put
+upon him the other day?"</p>
+
+<p>"No!" I answered, very short, "and you know it."</p>
+
+<p>Jack turned to Bentley with a groan.</p>
+
+<p>"And you, Bentley, come now," says he, "you could, eh!&mdash;come now?"</p>
+
+<p>"Not unless I was asleep or stone blind, or deaf," says Bentley.</p>
+
+<p>"Damme! and why not?" cries Jack, and then groaned again. "I was afraid
+so," says he, "I was afraid so."</p>
+
+<p>"Jack, what the devil do you mean?" I exclaimed.</p>
+
+<p>For answer he tossed a crumpled piece of paper across to me. "Read
+that," says he, "I got it not an hour since&mdash;read it aloud." Hereupon,
+smoothing out the creases, I read the following:</p>
+
+<p class="right"><span class="smcap">Tonbridge, Octr.</span> 30th, 1740.</p>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">My dear Sir John</span>,</p>
+
+<p>Fortune, that charming though much vilified dame, hath for once
+proved kind, for the first, and believe me by far the most
+formidable of my three tasks, namely, to perform that which each
+one of you shall avow to be beyond him, is already accomplished,
+and I make bold to say, successfully.</p>
+
+<p>To be particular, you could not but notice the very objectionable
+conduct, I might say, the wanton insolence of Sir Harry Raikes upon
+the occasion of our last interview. Now, Sir John, you, together
+with Sir Richard Eden and Mr. Bentley, will bear witness to the
+fact that I not only passed over the affront, but even went so far
+as to apologise to him myself, wherein I think I can lay claim to
+having achieved that which each one of you will admit to have been
+beyond his powers.</p>
+
+<p>Having thus fulfilled the first undertaking assigned me, there
+remain but two, namely, to make a laughing stock of Sir Harry
+Raikes (which I purpose to do at the very first opportunity) and to
+place you three gentlemen at a disadvantage.</p>
+
+<p>So, my dear Sir John, in hopes of soon gaining your esteem and
+blessing (above all), I rest your most devoted, humble, obedient,</p>
+
+<p class="right">&nbsp; &nbsp; <span class="smcap">Horatio Tawnish</span>.</p>
+
+<p>"This passes all bounds," says I, tossing the letter upon the table,
+"such audacity&mdash;such presumption is beyond all belief; the question is,
+whether the fellow is right in his head."</p>
+
+<p>"No, Dick," says Bentley, helping himself to the Oporto, "the question
+is rather&mdash;whether he is wrong in his assertion."</p>
+
+<p>"Why, as to that&mdash;" I began, and paused, for look at it as I might
+'twas plain enough that Mr. Tawnish had certainly scored his first
+point.</p>
+
+<p>"We all agree," continued Bentley, "that we none of us could do the
+like; it therefore follows that this Tawnish fellow wins the first
+hand."</p>
+
+<p>"Sheer trickery!" cries Jack, hurling his wig into the corner&mdash;"sheer
+trickery&mdash;damme!"</p>
+
+<p>"Fore gad! Jack," says I, "this fellow's no fool, if he 'quits himself
+of his other two tasks as featly as this, sink me! but I must needs
+begin to love him, for look you, fair is fair all the world over and I
+agree with Bentley, for once, that Mr. Tawnish wins the first hand."</p>
+
+<p>"Ha!" cries Jack, "and because the rogue has tricked us once, would you
+have us sit by and let Pen throw herself away upon a worthless,
+fortune-hunting fop&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Why, as to that, Jack," says Bentley, "a bargain's a bargain&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Pish!" roared Jack, fumbling in his pocket, "why only this very morning
+I came upon more of his poetry-stuff! Here," he continued, tossing a
+folded paper on the table in front of Bentley, "it seems the young
+rascal's been meeting her&mdash;over the orchard wall. Read it, Bentley&mdash;read
+it, and see for yourself." Obediently Bentley took up the paper and read
+as here followeth:</p>
+
+<p>"'Dear Heart&mdash;'"</p>
+
+<p>"Bah!" snorted Jack.</p>
+
+<p>"'Dear Heart!'" read Bentley again and with a certain unction:</p>
+
+<p>"'<span class="smcap">Dear Heart</span>,</p>
+
+<p>I send you these few lines, poor though they be, for since they
+were inspired by my great love for thee, that of itself, methinks,
+should make them more worthy,</p>
+
+<p class="center">Thine, as ever,</p>
+
+<p class="right"><span class="smcap">Horatio</span>.'"</p>
+
+<p>"You mark that?" cries Jack, excitedly, "'hers as ever,' and 'Horatio!'
+Horatio&mdash;faugh! I could ha' taken it kinder had he called himself Tom,
+or Will, or George, but 'Horatio'&mdash;oh, damme! And now comes the
+poetry-stuff."</p>
+
+<p>Hereupon Bentley hummed and ha'd, and clearing his throat, read this:</p>
+
+<div class="poem span.i4">"'When drowsy night with sombre wings</div>
+<div class="poem span.i4">O'er this world his shadow flings</div>
+<div class="poem span.i4">And thou, dear love, doth sleep,</div>
+<div class="poem span.i4">Then do I send my soul to thee</div>
+<div class="poem span.i4">Thy guardian till the dawn to be</div>
+<div class="poem span.i4">And thy sweet slumbers keep.'"</div>
+
+<p>"'Slumbers keep,'" snorted Jack, "the insolence of the fellow! Now look
+on t'other side."</p>
+
+<p>"'I shall be in the orchard to-morrow at the usual hour, in the
+hope of a word or a look from you.'"</p>
+
+<p>Bentley read, and laid down the paper.</p>
+
+<p>"At the usual hour&mdash;d'ye mark that!" cries Jack, thumping himself in the
+chest&mdash;"'tis become a habit with 'em, it seems&mdash;and there's for ye, and
+a nice kettle o' fish it is!"</p>
+
+<p>"Ah, Bentley," says I, "if only your nephew, the young Viscount, were
+here&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"To the deuce with Bentley's nephew!" roars Jack. "I say he shouldn't
+marry her now, no&mdash;not if he were ten thousand times Bentley's nephew,
+sir&mdash;deuce take him!"</p>
+
+<p>"So then," says I, "all our plans are gone astray, and she will have her
+way and wed this adventurer Tawnish, I suppose?"</p>
+
+<p>"No, no, Dick!" cries Jack; "curse me, am I not her father?"</p>
+
+<p>"And is she not&mdash;herself?" says I.</p>
+
+<p>"True!" Jack nodded, "and as stubborn as&mdash;as&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Her father!" added Bentley. "Why, Jack&mdash;Dick&mdash;I tell you she's ruled us
+all with a rod of iron ever since she used to climb up our knees to pull
+at our wigs with her little, mischievous fingers!"</p>
+
+<p>"Such very small, pink fingers!" says I, sighing. "Indeed we've spoiled
+her wofully betwixt us."</p>
+
+<p>"Ha!" snorted Jack, "and who's responsible for all this, I say; who's
+petted and pampered, and coddled and condoned her every fault? Why&mdash;you,
+Dick and Bentley. When I had occasion to scold or correct her, who was
+it used to sneak behind my back with their pockets bulging with cakes
+and sticky messes? Why, you, Dick and Bentley!"</p>
+
+<p>"You scold her, Jack?" says Bentley, "yes, egad! in a voice as mild as a
+sucking dove! And when she wept, you'd frown tremendously to hide thine
+own tears, man, and end by smothering her with your kisses. And thus it
+has ever been&mdash;for her dead mother's sake!"</p>
+
+<p>"But now," says I after a while, "the time is come to be resolute, for
+her sake&mdash;and her mother's."</p>
+
+<p>"Aye," cries Jack, "we must be firm with her, we must be resolute!
+Penelope's my daughter and shall obey us for once, if we have to lock
+her up for a week. I'll teach her that our will is law, for once!"</p>
+
+<p>"You're in the right on 't, Jack," says I, "we must show her that she
+can't ride rough-shod over us any longer. We must be stern to be kind."</p>
+
+<p>"We must be adamant!" says Bentley, his eyes twinkling.</p>
+
+<p>"We must be harsh," says I, "if need be and&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>But here, perceiving Bentley's face to be screwed up warningly,
+observing his ponderous wink and eloquent thumb, I glanced up and beheld
+Penelope herself regarding us from the doorway. And indeed, despite the
+pucker at her pretty brow, she looked as sweet and fresh and fair as an
+English summer morning. But Jack, all innocent of her presence, had
+caught the word from me.</p>
+
+<p>"Harsh!" cries he, thumping the table at his elbow, "I'll warrant me
+I'll be harsh enough&mdash;if 'twas only on account of the fellow's
+poetry-stuff&mdash;the jade! We'll lock her up&mdash;aye, if need be, we'll starve
+her on bread and water, we'll&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>But he got no further, for Penelope had stolen up behind him and,
+throwing her arms round his neck, kissed him into staring silence.</p>
+
+<p>"Uncle Bentley!" says she, giving him one white hand to kiss, "and you,
+dear uncle Dick!" and she gave me the other.</p>
+
+<p>"What, my pretty lass!" cries Bentley, rising, and would have kissed
+the red curve of her smiling lips, but she stayed him with an
+authoritative finger.</p>
+
+<p>"Nay, sir," says she, mighty demure, "you know my new rule,&mdash;from Monday
+to Wednesday my hand; from Wednesday to Saturday, my cheek; and on
+Sunday, my lips&mdash;and to-day is Tuesday, sir!"</p>
+
+<p>"Drat my memory, so it is!" says Bentley, and kissed her slender fingers
+obediently, as I did likewise. Hereupon she turns, very high and
+haughty, to eye Jack slowly from head to foot, and to shake her head at
+him in dignified rebuke.</p>
+
+<p>"As for you, sir," says she, "you stole away my letter,&mdash;was that
+gentle, was it loving, was it kind? Uncle Bentley&mdash;say 'No'!"</p>
+
+<p>"Why&mdash;er&mdash;no," stammered Bentley, "but you see, Pen&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Then, Sir John," she continued, with her calm, reproving gaze still
+fixed upon her father's face the while he fidgetted in his chair, "then
+yesterday, Sir John, when I found you'd taken it, and came to demand it
+back again, you heard me coming and slipped out&mdash;through the window, and
+hid yourself&mdash;in the stables, and rode away without even stopping to put
+on your riding-boots, and&mdash;in that terrible old hat! Was that behaving
+like a dignified, middle-aged gentleman and Justice of the Peace, sir?
+Uncle Richard, say 'Certainly not!'"</p>
+
+<p>"Well, I&mdash;I suppose 'twas not," says I, "but under the circumstances&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"And now I find you all with your heads very close together, hatching
+diabolical plots and conspiracies against poor little me&mdash;heigho!"</p>
+
+<p>"Nay, Penelope," says Jack, beginning to bluster, "we&mdash;I say we are
+determined&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Oh, Sir John," she sighed, "oh, Sir John Chester, 'tis a shameful thing
+and most ungallant in a father to run off with his daughter's
+love-letter. Prithee, where is her love-letter? Give her her
+love-letter&mdash;this moment!"</p>
+
+<p>Hereupon Jack must needs produce the letter from his pocket (where he
+had hidden it) and she (naughty baggage) very ostentatiously set it
+'neath the tucker at her bosom. Which done, she nods at each one of us
+in turn, frowning a little the while.</p>
+
+<p>"I vow," says she, tapping the floor with the toe of her satin shoe, "I
+could find it in my heart to be very angry with you&mdash;all of you, if I
+didn't&mdash;love you quite so well. So, needs must I forgive you. Sir John
+dear, stoop down and let me straighten your wig&mdash;there! Now you may kiss
+me, sir&mdash;an' you wish."</p>
+
+<p>Hereupon Jack kissed her, of course, and thereafter catching sight of
+us, frowned terrifically.</p>
+
+<p>"Now, look'ee here, Pen&mdash;Penelope," says he, "I say, look'ee here!"</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, Sir John dear."</p>
+
+<p>"I&mdash;that is to say&mdash;we," began Jack, "for Dick and Bentley are one with
+me, I say that&mdash;that&mdash;er, I say that&mdash;what the devil do I mean to say,
+Dick?"</p>
+
+<p>"Why, Pen," I explained, "'tis this stranger&mdash;this&mdash;er&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Tawnish!" says Bentley.</p>
+
+<p>"Aye, Tawnish!" nodded Jack. "Now heark'ee, Pen, I repeat&mdash;I say, I
+repeat&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Very frequently, dear," she sighed. "Well?"</p>
+
+<p>"I say," continued Jack, "that I&mdash;we&mdash;utterly forbid you to see or hear
+from the fellow again."</p>
+
+<p>"And pray, sir, what have you against him?" says she softly,&mdash;only her
+slender foot tapped a little faster.</p>
+
+<p>"Everything!" says Jack.</p>
+
+<p>"Which is as much as to say&mdash;nothing!" she retorted.</p>
+
+<p>"I say," cried Jack, "the man you come to marry shall be a <i>man</i> and not
+a mincing exquisite with no ideas beyond the cut of his coat."</p>
+
+<p>"And," says I, "a man of position, and no led-captain with an eye to
+your money, or needy adventurer hunting a dowry, Pen."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh!" she sighed, "how cruelly you misjudge him! And you, Uncle Bentley,
+what have you to say?"</p>
+
+<p>"That whoso he be, we would have him in all things worthy of thee, Pen."</p>
+
+<p>"Aye!" nodded Jack, "so my lass, forego this whim&mdash;no more o' this
+Tawnish fellow&mdash;forget him."</p>
+
+<p>"Forget!" says she, "how lightly you say it! Oh, prithee don't you see
+that I am a child no longer&mdash;don't you understand?"</p>
+
+<p>"Pooh!" cries Jack. "Fiddle-de-dee! What-a-plague! This fellow is no
+fit mate for our Pen, a stranger whom nobody knows! a languid fop! a
+pranked-out, patched and powdered puppy-dog! So Penelope, let there be
+an end on't!"</p>
+
+<p>Pen's little foot had ceased its tattoo, but her eyes were bright and
+her cheeks glowed when she spoke again.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh!" says she, scornfully. "Oh, most noble, most fair-minded
+gentlemen&mdash;all three of you, to condemn thus, out of hand, one of whom
+you know nothing, and without allowing him one word in his own behalf!
+Aye, hang your heads! Oh, 'tis most unworthy of you&mdash;you whom I have
+ever held to be in all things most just and honourable!"</p>
+
+<p>And here she turned her back fairly upon us and crossed to the window,
+while we looked at one another but with never a word betwixt us;
+wherefore she presently went on again.</p>
+
+<p>"And yet," says she, and now her voice was grown wonderfully tender,
+"you all loved the mother I never knew&mdash;loved her passing well, and, for
+her sake, have borne with my foolish whims all these years, and given me
+a place deep within your hearts. And because of this," says she, turning
+and coming back to us, "yes, because of this I love thee, Uncle Dick!"
+Here she stooped and kissed me (God bless her). "And you too, Uncle
+Bentley!" Here she kissed Bentley. "And you, dear, tender father!" Here
+she kissed Jack. "Indeed," she sighed, "methinks I love you all far more
+than either of you, being only men, can ever understand. But because I
+am a woman, needs must I do as my heart bids me in this matter, or
+despise myself utterly. As for the worth of this gentleman, oh! think
+you I am so little credit to your upbringing as not to know the real
+from the base? Ah! trust me! And indeed I know this for a very noble
+gentleman, and what's more, I will never&mdash;never&mdash;wed any other than this
+gentleman!" So saying, she sobbed once, and turning about, sped from the
+room, banging the door behind her.</p>
+
+<p>Hereupon Jack sighed and ruffled up his wig, while Bentley, lying back
+in his chair, nodded up at the ceiling, and as for myself I stared down
+at the floor, lost in sombre thought.</p>
+
+<p>"Well," exclaimed Jack at last, "what the devil are you shaking your
+heads over? Had you aided me just now instead of sitting there mumchance
+like two graven images&mdash;say like two accursed graven images&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Why," retorted Bentley, "didn't I say&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Say," cries Jack, "no sooner did you clap eyes on her than it's 'My
+sweet lass!' 'My pretty maid!' and such toys! And after all your talk of
+being 'harsh to be kind!' Oh, a cursed nice mess you've made on't
+betwixt you. Lord knows I tried to do my best&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"To be sure," nodded Bentley, "'Come let me straighten your wig' says
+she, and there you sat like&mdash;egad, like a furious lamb!"</p>
+
+<p>"Jack and Bentley," says I, "'tis time we realized that our Pen's a
+woman grown and we&mdash;old men, though it seems but yesterday we were boys
+together at Charterhouse. But the years have slipped away, as years
+will, and everything is changed but our friendship. As we, in those
+early days lived, and fought, and worked together, so we loved together,
+and she&mdash;chose Jack. And because of our love, her choice was ours also.
+And in a little while she died, but left us Pen&mdash;to comfort Jack if such
+might be, and to be our little maid. Each day she hath grown more like
+to what her sweet mother was, and so we have loved her&mdash;very dearly
+until&mdash;to-day we have waked to find our little maid a woman grown&mdash;to
+think, and act, and choose for herself, and we&mdash;old men."</p>
+
+<p>And so I sighed, and rising crossed to the window and stood there
+awhile.</p>
+
+<p>"Lord!" says Bentley at last, "how the years do gallop upon a man!"</p>
+
+<p>"Aye!" sighed Jack, "I never felt my age till now."</p>
+
+<p>"Nor I!" added Bentley.</p>
+
+<p>"And now," says Jack, "what of Raikes; have you seen aught of him
+lately?"</p>
+
+<p>"No, Jack."</p>
+
+<p>"But I met Hammersley this morning," says Bentley, "and he was anxious
+to know when the&mdash;the&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Meeting was likely to take place?" put in Jack, as he paused; "Purdy
+tells me I shan't be able to use this foot of mine for a month or
+more."</p>
+
+<p>"That will put it near Christmas," added Bentley.</p>
+
+<p>"Yes," nodded Jack, "I think we could do no better than Christmas Day."</p>
+
+<p>"A devilish strange time for a duel," says Bentley, "peace on earth, and
+all that sort of thing, you know."</p>
+
+<p>"Why, it's Pen," says Jack, staring hard into the fire, "she will be at
+her Aunt Sophia's then, which is fortunate on the whole. I shouldn't
+care for her to see me&mdash;when they bring me home."</p>
+
+<p>For a long time it seemed to me none of us spoke. I fumbled through all
+my pockets for my snuff-box without finding it (which was strange), and
+looking up presently, I saw that Bentley had upset his wine, which was
+trickling down his satin waistcoat all unnoticed.</p>
+
+<p>"Jack," says I at last, "a Gad's name, lend me your snuff-box!"</p>
+
+<p>"And now," says he, "suppose we have a hand at picquet."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[Pg 81]</a></span></p>
+
+<p class="p3br center smcap" style="font-size:1.5em">Chapter Three</p>
+
+<p class="center" style="font-size:1.1em"><i>Of a Flight of Steps, a Stirrup, and a Stone</i></p>
+
+<p class="p2br"></p>
+
+<p>Autumn, with its dying flowers and falling leaves, is, to my thinking, a
+mournful season, and hath ever about it a haunting melancholy, a gentle
+sadness that sorts very ill with this confounded tune of "Lillibuleero,"
+more especially when whistled in gusts and somewhat out of key.</p>
+
+<p>Therefore, as we walked along towards the Manor on this November
+afternoon, I drew my arm from Bentley's and turned upon him with a
+frown:</p>
+
+<p>"Why in heaven's name must you whistle?" I demanded.</p>
+
+<p>"Did I so, Dick? I was thinking."</p>
+
+<p>"Of what, pray?"</p>
+
+<p>"Of many things, man Dick, but more particularly of my nephew."</p>
+
+<p>"Ah!" says I scornfully, "our gallant young Viscount! our bridegroom
+elect who&mdash;ran away!"</p>
+
+<p>"But none the less," added Bentley, stoutly, "a pretty fellow with a
+good leg, a quick hand and a true eye, Dick&mdash;one who can tell 'a hawk
+from a hern-shaw' as the saying is."</p>
+
+<p>"Which I take leave to doubt," says I, sourly, "or he would have fallen
+in with our wishes and married Pen a year ago, instead of running away
+like a craven fool!"</p>
+
+<p>"But bethink you, Dick," says Bentley flushing, "he had never so much
+as seen her and, when he heard we were all so set on having him
+married, he writ me saying he 'preferred a wife of his own choosing' and
+then&mdash;well, he bolted!"</p>
+
+<p>"Like a fool!"</p>
+
+<p>"'Twas very natural," snorted Bentley, redder in the face than ever.
+"And what's more, he's a fine lad, a lovable lad, and a very fine
+gentleman into the bargain, as you will be the first to admit when&mdash;"
+but here Bentley broke off to turn and look at me mighty solemn all at
+once: "Dick," says he, "do you think young Raikes is so great a
+swordsman as they say?"</p>
+
+<p>"Yes," I answered bitterly, "and that's why I grieve for our poor Jack."</p>
+
+<p>"Jack?" says Bentley, staring like a fool, "Jack&mdash;ah yes, to be
+sure&mdash;to be sure."</p>
+
+<p>"I tell you, Bentley," I continued, impressively, "so sure as he crosses
+swords with the fellow, Jack is a dead man."</p>
+
+<p>"Humph!" says Bentley, after we had gone some little way in silence.
+"Man Dick, I'm greatly minded to tell thee a matter."</p>
+
+<p>"Well?" I enquired, listlessly.</p>
+
+<p>"But on second thoughts, I won't, Dick," says he, "for 'silence is
+golden,' as the saying is!"</p>
+
+<p>"Why then," says I, "go you on to the house; I'm minded to walk in the
+rose-garden awhile," for I had caught the flutter of Pen's cloak at the
+end of one of the walks.</p>
+
+<p>"Walk?" repeated Bentley, staring. "Rose-garden? But Jack will be for a
+game of picquet&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"I'll be with you anon," says I, turning away.</p>
+
+<p>"Hum!" says Bentley, scratching his chin, and presently sets off towards
+the house, whistling lustily.</p>
+
+<p>I found Penelope in the yew-walk, leaning against the statue of a satyr.
+And looking from the grotesque features above to the lovely face below,
+I suddenly found my old heart a-thumping strangely&mdash;for beside this very
+statue, in almost the same attitude, her mother had once stood long ago
+to listen to the tale of my hopeless love. For a moment it almost seemed
+that the years had rolled backward, it almost seemed that the thin grey
+hair beneath my wig might be black once more, my step light and elastic
+with youth. Instinctively, I reached out my hands and took a swift step
+across the grass, then, all at once she looked up, and seeing me,
+smiled.</p>
+
+<p>My hands dropped.</p>
+
+<p>"Penelope," I said.</p>
+
+<p>"Uncle Dick," says she, her smile fading, "why, what is it?"</p>
+
+<p>"Naught, my dear," says I, trying to smile, "old men have strange
+fancies at times&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Nay, but what was it?" she repeated, catching my hands in hers.</p>
+
+<p>"Child," says I, "child, you are greatly like what your mother was
+before you."</p>
+
+<p>"Am I?" says she very low, looking at me with a new light in her eyes.
+Then she leaned suddenly forward and kissed me.</p>
+
+<p>"Why, Pen!" says I, all taken aback.</p>
+
+<p>"I know," she nodded, "on Monday my hand, on Wednesday my cheek, and on
+Sunday my lips&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"And to-day is Friday!"</p>
+
+<p>"What if it is, sir," says she, tossing her head, "I made that rule
+simply for peace and quietness sake; you and Uncle Bentley were forever
+pestering me to death, you know you were."</p>
+
+<p>"Were we?" says I, chuckling, "well, I'm one ahead of him to-day,
+anyhow, Pen."</p>
+
+<p>Talking thus, we came to the rose-garden (Pen's special care) and here
+we must needs fall a-sorrowing over the dead flowers.</p>
+
+<p>"And yet," says Pen, pausing beside a bush whereon hung a few faded
+blooms, "all will be as sweet, and fresh, and glorious again next year."</p>
+
+<p>"Yes," I answered, heavily, "next year." And I sighed again, bethinking
+me of the changes this next year must bring to all of us.</p>
+
+<p>"Tell me, Uncle Dick," says she, suddenly, laying a hand on either of my
+shoulders, "how did father hurt his foot?"</p>
+
+<p>"Why, to be sure," says I, readily, "'twas an accident. You must know
+'twas as we came down the steps at 'The Chequers', Pen; talking and
+laughing, d'ye see, he tripped and fell&mdash;caught his spur, I fancy."</p>
+
+<p>"But he wore no spurs, Uncle Dick," says she, mighty demure.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh&mdash;why&mdash;didn't he so, Pen?" says I, a little hipped. "Well, then
+he&mdash;er&mdash;just&mdash;tripped, you know&mdash;fell, you understand."</p>
+
+<p>"On the steps, Uncle Dick?"</p>
+
+<p>"Aye, on the steps," I nodded.</p>
+
+<p>"Prithee did he fall up the steps or down the steps, Uncle Dick?"</p>
+
+<p>"Down, Pen, down; he simply tripped down the steps and&mdash;and there you
+have it."</p>
+
+<p>"But prithee Uncle Dick&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Nay, nay," says I, "the game waits for me, Pen&mdash;I must go."</p>
+
+<p>But at this moment, as luck would have it, Bentley reappeared, nor was I
+ever more glad to see him.</p>
+
+<p>"Aha, man Dick," cries he, wagging his finger at me. "Walk in the
+rose-garden, was it? Oh, for shame, to so abuse my confidence&mdash;Dick, I
+blush for thee; and Jack's a roaring for thee, and the game waits for
+thee; in a word&mdash;begone! And to-day, Pen," says he, as I turned away,
+"to-day is Friday!" and he stooped and kissed her pretty cheek.</p>
+
+<p>I had reached the terrace when I stopped all at once and, moved by a
+sudden thought, I turned about and hurriedly retraced my steps. They
+were screened from sight by one of the great yew hedges, but as I
+approached I could hear Bentley's voice:</p>
+
+<p>"His horse?" says Bentley.</p>
+
+<p>"Yes," says Pen, "and Saladin's such a quiet old horse as a rule!"</p>
+
+<p>"But what's his horse got to do with it?" says Bentley.</p>
+
+<p>"Why, you were there, Uncle Bentley. Saladin jibbed, didn't he, just as
+father had one foot in the stirrup ready to mount?"</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! Ha! Hum!" says Bentley. "Did Jack tell you all that, Pen?"</p>
+
+<p>"Who else?" says she, "'twas you caught his bridle, wasn't it?"</p>
+
+<p>"I? Hum! The bridle?" says Bentley, "why&mdash;egad, Pen&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"And Uncle Dick caught father as he fell," she continued.</p>
+
+<p>"Did Jack tell thee all that?" says Bentley.</p>
+
+<p>"How should I know else?" says she.</p>
+
+<p>"Lord!" says Bentley.</p>
+
+<p>"And 'twas you caught the bridle, now, wasn't it?" says she, carelessly.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[Pg 92]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter">
+<img src="images/col003.jpg"
+  width="322" height="488" alt="Page 80." title="Page 80." />
+</div>
+<div class="center">"Oh! Ha! Hum!" says Bentley, "did Jack tell you<br />all that, Pen?"&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>Page 80</i>.</div>
+
+<p>"Why&mdash;er&mdash;since you mention it,
+&mdash;yes&mdash;I suppose so," mumbled Bentley, "oh, yes, certainly I caught the
+bridle&mdash;surprisingly agile in one o' my size, Pen, eh? But egad, the
+game waits&mdash;I must be off, but a kiss first&mdash;for saving thy father for
+thee, Pen."</p>
+
+<p>Waiting for no more, I turned and set off towards the house, but as I
+once more reached the terrace, up comes Bentley behind me, whistling
+lustily as usual.</p>
+
+<p>"Why Dick," says he, "where have you sprung from?"</p>
+
+<p>"Bentley," says I, shaking my head, "it's in my mind you've been a vasty
+fool!"</p>
+
+<p>"For what, Dick?"</p>
+
+<p>"For catching that bridle!" says I. "Why on earth couldn't you be
+content to let him trip down the steps as we agreed a week ago?"</p>
+
+<p>"Why then, what of Jack's story of Saladin's jibbing&mdash;though strike me
+purple, Dick, if I thought he had enough imagination."</p>
+
+<p>"Do you think he did tell her so?" says I.</p>
+
+<p>"To be sure he did, Dick, unless&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Humph!" says I, "let's go and ask him."</p>
+
+<p>Side by side we entered the great hall, and side by side we came to the
+door of the library; now the door was open, and from within came the
+sound of Jack's voice.</p>
+
+<p>"I tell thee 'twas nought but a stone, Pen," he was saying, "I say, an
+ordinary, loose cobble-stone! Good Gad, madam, and why shouldn't it be
+a cobble-stone? Gentlemen are forever twisting their ankles on
+cobble-stones! I tell you&mdash;" Hereupon Bentley threw open the door, but I
+entered first.</p>
+
+<p>"No, no, Jack!" I cried, "'twas down the steps&mdash;you tripped down the
+steps at 'The Chequers,' you know you did!"</p>
+
+<p>"Nay, 'twas Saladin jibbed,&mdash;don't you remember?" says Bentley.</p>
+
+<p>"Why, Dick and Bentley!" cries Jack, staring from one to the other of
+us, "what a plague's all this? Don't I know how I hurt my own foot? I
+say 'twas a cobble-stone, and a cobble-stone it shall be. Lord! how
+could ye try to fill our maid's pretty head with such folly? Shame on ye
+both! Why not stick to the truth&mdash;and my cobble-stone?"</p>
+
+<p>"And now, dear Sir John," says Pen, very soft and demure, "pray tell
+me&mdash;how <i>did</i> you hurt your foot?"</p>
+
+<p>"Hey&mdash;what?" spluttered Jack, "don't I tell you&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"A flight of steps, a stirrup, and a stone!" sighed Pen, shaking her
+head at us each in turn.</p>
+
+<p>"Now look'ee, Pen," says Jack, trying to bluster, "I say I'm not to be
+badgered and brow-beaten by a slip of a girl&mdash;I say I'm not, by heaven!"</p>
+
+<p>"Oh, my dears, my dears!" sighed Pen, reprovingly, "Isn't it time you
+learned that you can keep few&mdash;very few secrets from me, who understand
+you all so well because I love you all so well? I have been your
+playfellow and companion so long that, methinks, I know you much better
+than you know yourselves; I, who have had my word in all your councils?
+How foolish then to think to put me off with such flimsy stories. Of
+course I shall find out all about it, sooner or later, I always do. Yes,
+I shall, even if I must needs hide in corners sirs, and hearken at
+keyholes, and peep and pry&mdash;so I warn you." And with this, she nodded
+and turned and left us to stare blankly at one another.</p>
+
+<p>"That settles it!" said Bentley, gloomily, "she'll no more swallow thy
+cobble-stone than Dick's flight of steps, Jack. She'll know the truth
+before the week is out!"</p>
+
+<p>"The minx!" cried Jack, "the jade!" And with the word he snatched off
+his wig and hurled it into a corner.</p>
+
+<p>"Jack," says I, "what's to be done?"</p>
+
+<p>"Done?" he roared, "I'll pack her off to her Aunt Sophia to-morrow!"</p>
+
+<p>"Aye," says Bentley, "but&mdash;will she go?"</p>
+
+<p>"Bentley," says Jack, "I'll thank you to reach me my wig!"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[Pg 100]</a></span></p>
+
+<p class="p3br center smcap" style="font-size:1.5em">Chapter Four</p>
+
+<p class="center" style="font-size:1.1em"><i>Of how We fell in with a Highwayman at<br />the Cross Roads</i></p>
+
+<p class="p2br"></p>
+
+<p>Myself and Bentley were returning from another dog-fight. This time my
+dog had lost (which was but natural, seeing its very unfit condition,
+though to be sure it looked well enough at a glance). Alas! the sport is
+not what it was in my young days, when rogues can so put off a sick dog
+upon the unsuspecting. Methinks 'tis becoming a very brutal, degrading
+practice&mdash;have determined to have done with dog-fighting once and for
+all. Bentley was in a high good humour (as was but to be expected,
+seeing he had won nigh upon two hundred guineas of me), but then, as I
+have said, Bentley never wins but he must needs show it.</p>
+
+<p>"By the way," said he, breaking off in the middle of the air he was
+humming, "did you see him at the fight?"</p>
+
+<p>"Him?" says I.</p>
+
+<p>"Raikes," nodded Bentley. "Man Dick, I never see the fellow but my
+fingers itch for his throat. I heard some talk that he had won a
+thousand or so from young Vesey, by this one bout alone."</p>
+
+<p>"Humph!" says I.</p>
+
+<p>"Come, Dick," says Bentley, "let's get on; he cannot be so very far
+behind, and I have no stomach for his society&mdash;I'll race you to the
+cross roads for fifty."</p>
+
+<p>"I'll hurry myself for no such fellow as Raikes!" says I.</p>
+
+<p>"Nor fifty guineas?"</p>
+
+<p>"No," says I, "nor fifty guineas!"</p>
+
+<p>Whereupon, Bentley yielding to my humour, we rode on with never a word
+betwixt us. It lacked now but a short three weeks to Christmas, and
+every day served but to bring Jack nearer to his grave, and add a
+further load to that which pressed upon my heart. At such times the
+thought of Pen, and the agony I must see in her eyes so soon, drove me
+well-nigh frantic. In this rough world men must be prepared for
+fortune's buffets&mdash;and shame to him that blenches, say I&mdash;but when
+through us Fate strikes those we fain would shelter, methinks it is
+another matter. Thus, had Jack proved coward, I for one should have
+rejoiced for Pen's sake, but as it was, no power on earth could stay
+the meeting, and this Christmas would bring her but anguish, and a great
+sorrow. With all these thoughts upon my mind I was very silent and
+despondent&mdash;and what wonder! As for Bentley, he, on the contrary,
+manifested an indifference out of all keeping with his character, an
+insensibility that angered and disgusted me not a little, but surprised
+and pained me, most of all.</p>
+
+<p>So it was in moody silence that we walked our horses up the hill where
+the beacon stands, and were barely on top, when we heard the sound of
+rapidly approaching hoofs behind us, and a few minutes later Sir Harry
+Raikes with his friend, Captain Hammersley, galloped up.</p>
+
+<p>Hereupon Bentley, in his usual easy, inconsequent fashion, fell into
+conversation with them, but as for me, having bowed in acknowledgment of
+their boisterous salutation, I relapsed once more into gloomy thought.
+Little by little however, it became apparent to me that for some reason
+I had become a mark for their amusement; more than once I caught them
+exchanging looks, or regarding me from the corners of their eyes in such
+fashion as set my ears a-tingling. The Captain was possessed of a
+peculiarly high-pitched, falsetto laugh, which, recurring at frequent
+intervals (and for no reason as I could see), annoyed me almost beyond
+bearing. But I paid no heed, staring straight before me and meditating
+upon a course of action which had been in my head for days past&mdash;a plan
+whereby Jack's duel might be prevented altogether, and our sweet maid
+shielded from the sorrow that must otherwise blight her life so very
+soon. As I have said before, there was a time, years ago, when I was
+accounted a match for any with the small-sword, and though a man grows
+old he can never forget what he has learned of the art. I had, besides,
+seen Raikes fight on two or three occasions, and believed, despite the
+disparity of our years, that I could master him. If on the other hand I
+was wrong, if, to put it bluntly, he should kill me, well, I was a very
+lonely man with none dependent upon me, nay, my money would but benefit
+others the sooner; moreover, I was a man of some standing, a Justice of
+the Peace, with many friends in high authority, both in London and the
+neighbourhood, who I know would raise such an outcry as would serve to
+rid the county of Raikes once and for all. And a better riddance could
+not well be imagined.</p>
+
+<p>Thus, I argued, in either case my object could not fail, and therefore I
+determined on the first favourable opportunity to put the matter to a
+sudden issue. Presently the road narrowed so that we were forced to ride
+two abreast, and I noticed with a feeling of satisfaction that Raikes
+purposely reined in so as to bring himself beside me.</p>
+
+<p>"By the way, Sir Richard," says he carelessly, "what of Jack Chester?"</p>
+
+<p>"You possibly allude to my friend Sir John Chester," I corrected.</p>
+
+<p>"To be sure," he answered, staring me in the eyes&mdash;"to be sure&mdash;Jack
+Chester." Hereupon the Captain giggled. "They tell me his leg yet
+troubles him," continued Raikes, seeing I was silent.</p>
+
+<p>"'Tis nearly well," says Bentley, over his shoulder, and at the same
+time I noticed his great mare began to edge closer to the Captain's
+light roan.</p>
+
+<p>"Can it be possible?" cried Raikes, in mock surprise. "On my soul, you
+astonish me!" At this the Captain screeched with laughter again, yet he
+broke off in the middle to curse instead, as his horse floundered into
+the ditch.</p>
+
+<p>"Pink my immortal soul, sir!" says he, as he got down to pick up his
+hat, "but I verily believe that great beast of yours is gone suddenly
+mad!" And indeed, Bentley's mare was sidling and dancing in a manner
+that would seem to lend truth to the words.</p>
+
+<p>"No," says Bentley, very solemn, "she has an objection to sudden
+noises&mdash;'twas your laugh frightened her belike."</p>
+
+<p>The Captain muttered a curse or two, wiped the mud from his hat, and
+climbing back into the saddle, we proceeded upon our way.</p>
+
+<p>"Speaking of Jack Chester," began Raikes, but here he was interrupted by
+Bentley, who had been regarding us for some time with an uneasy eye.</p>
+
+<p>"Gentlemen," says he, pointing to the finger-post ahead of us, "'tis
+said Sir Charles d'Arcy was stopped at the cross roads yonder by a
+highwayman, no later than last night, and he swears the fellow was none
+other than the famous Jerry Abershaw himself, and he is said to be in
+these parts yet."</p>
+
+<p>"The devil!" exclaimed the Captain, glancing about apprehensively, while
+I stared at Bentley in surprise, for this was the first I had heard of
+it. As for Sir Harry Raikes, he dismissed the subject with a careless
+shrug, and turned his attention to me once more.</p>
+
+<p>"Speaking of Jack Chester," says he, "I begin to fear that leg of his
+will never mend."</p>
+
+<p>"Ah?" says I, looking him in the eyes for the first time, "yes?"</p>
+
+<p>"Considering the circumstances," he nodded.</p>
+
+<p>"It would seem that your fears were wasted none the less, sir."</p>
+
+<p>"My dear Sir Richard," he smiled, "as I was saying to some one only the
+other day, an injured arm&mdash;or leg for that matter, has often supplied a
+lack of courage before now."</p>
+
+<p>As he ended, the Captain began to laugh again, but meeting my eye,
+stopped, for the moment I had waited for had arrived, and I reined round
+so suddenly as to throw Sir Harry's horse back upon its haunches.</p>
+
+<p>"Damnation!" he cried, struggling with the plunging animal, "are you
+mad?"</p>
+
+<p>"Do me the favour to dismount," says I, suiting the action to the word,
+and throwing my bridle to Bentley.</p>
+
+<p>"And what now?" says Raikes, staring.</p>
+
+<p>"You will perceive that the road here is passably even, and the light
+still fairly good," says I.</p>
+
+<p>"Highly dramatic, on my soul!" he sneered.</p>
+
+<p>"Sir Harry Raikes," says I, stepping up to his stirrup, "you will notice
+that I have here a sword and a whip&mdash;which shall it be?"</p>
+
+<p>The sneer left his lips on the instant, his face as suddenly grew red,
+and I saw the veins start out on his temples.</p>
+
+<p>"What," cries he, "is it a fight you're after?"</p>
+
+<p>"Exactly!" says I, and laid my hand upon my small-sword; but at this
+moment Bentley rode betwixt us.</p>
+
+<p>"By God, you don't, Dick!" says he, laying his great hand upon my
+shoulder.</p>
+
+<p>"By God, but I do!" says I, endeavouring vainly to shake off his grasp.</p>
+
+<p>"Man, Dick," cries he, "you are a madman&mdash;and full six inches shorter
+in the reach! Now I&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"You!" I broke in, "you are a mountain&mdash;besides, the quarrel is
+mine&mdash;come, loose me, Bentley&mdash;loose me, I say."</p>
+
+<p>"No! Devil take me&mdash;do you think I'll stand by and see you murdered?"</p>
+
+<p>"Bentley," I cried, "if ever you were friend of mine you will free my
+arm this instant."</p>
+
+<p>All this time Raikes sat regarding us with a look of such open amusement
+as came nigh driving me frantic.</p>
+
+<p>"Mr. Bentley," says he, with a flourish of his hat, "I fancy 'twould be
+as well for Sir Richard were I and Captain Hammersley to ride on before,
+yet do not loose him till I am out of sight, I beg."</p>
+
+<p>"You hear, Bentley?" says I, trembling with passion. "Come&mdash;let us
+go&mdash;fool," I whispered under my breath, "for her sake!" Bentley's
+fingers twitched upon my arm.</p>
+
+<p>"Ah, I thought so!" he nodded.</p>
+
+<p>"Then quick, do as I bid, and get it over."</p>
+
+<p>"On condition that you settle the affair in the meadow yonder&mdash;'tis a
+better place in all respects," says Bentley, under his breath.</p>
+
+<p>"I care not where it be," says I.</p>
+
+<p>"So," sneered Raikes, "you are bent on fighting, then?"</p>
+
+<p>"In the meadow yonder," nodded Bentley, pointing with his whip to a
+field that lay beyond the narrow stone bridge, some little distance
+ahead.</p>
+
+<p>"As you will," says Raikes, shrugging his shoulders; "but whatever the
+consequences, I call you all to witness that Sir Richard's own
+impulsiveness is entirely to blame."</p>
+
+<p>So, having remounted, we rode forward, Raikes and the Captain leading
+the way.</p>
+
+<p>Now as we drew nearer to the bridge I have mentioned, I noticed a
+solitary figure wrapped in a horseman's cloak who sat upon the coping,
+seemingly absorbed in watching the flow of the stream beneath. We were
+almost upon him when he slowly rose to his feet, and as he turned his
+head I saw that he was masked, and, furthermore, that in either hand he
+held a long-barrelled pistol.</p>
+
+<p>"Abershaw, by God!" exclaimed the Captain, reining up all of a sudden.</p>
+
+<p>"Stand!" cried a harsh voice, whereupon we all very promptly obeyed with
+the exception of Raikes, who, striking spurs to his horse, dashed in
+upon the fellow with raised whip. There was the sound of a blow, a
+bitter curse, and the heavy whip, whirling harmlessly through the air,
+splashed down into the stream.</p>
+
+<p>"Ah! would you then?" says the fellow, with the muzzles of the pistols
+within a foot of Sir Harry's cowering body. "Ah, would you? Curse me,
+but I've a mind to blow the heart and liver out of you&mdash;d'ye take me?"</p>
+
+<p>"I'll see you hanged for this," said Raikes, betwixt his teeth.</p>
+
+<p>"Maybe aye, maybe no," says the fellow, in the same rough yet
+half-jovial voice, "but for the present come down&mdash;get down, d'ye
+hear?" Muttering oaths, Sir Harry perforce dismounted, and being by this
+still nearer the threatening muzzles, immediately proceeded to draw out
+a heavy purse, which he sullenly extended toward the highwayman, who,
+shifting one pistol to his pocket, took it, weighed it in his hand a
+moment, and then coolly tossed it over into the stream.</p>
+
+<p>"What the devil!" gasped Raikes, "are you mad?"</p>
+
+<p>"Maybe aye, maybe no," says the fellow, grinning beneath his mask, "but
+that's neither here nor there, master, the question betwixt us being a
+coat."</p>
+
+<p>"What coat?" cries Raikes, with a bewildered stare.</p>
+
+<p>"This coat," says the fellow, tapping him upon the arm with his pistol
+barrel, "and a very passable coat it is&mdash;fine velvet, I swear, and as
+I'm a living sinner, a flowered waistcoat!&mdash;come, take 'em off, d'ye
+hear?"</p>
+
+<p>Very slowly, Sir Harry obeyed, swearing frightfully, while the fellow,
+sitting upon the parapet of the bridge, swung his legs and watched him.</p>
+
+<p>"Humph!" says he, as if to himself, "buckskin breeches, and boots brand
+new&mdash;burn me!" and then suddenly in a louder tone: "Off with them!"</p>
+
+<p>"What d'ye mean?" snarled Raikes, and his face was murderous.</p>
+
+<p>"What I says," returned the other, with a flourish of his pistols, "such
+being my natur', d'ye take me? And if the gentleman in the muddy hat
+moves a finger nearer his barkers, I'll blow his head off&mdash;curse me if
+I won't." Saying which the highwayman began to whistle softly, swinging
+his legs in time to himself. As for the Captain, the hand which had
+crept furtively towards his pistols dropped as if it had been shot, and
+he sat watching the fellow with staring eyes.</p>
+
+<p>And indeed he made a strange, fantastic figure sitting there hunched up
+in the fading light, with the quick gleam of his ever restless eyes
+showing through the slits of his hideous half-mask, and the pout of his
+whistling lips beneath; nay, there was about the whole figure, from the
+rusty spurs at his heels to the crown of his battered hat, something
+almost devilish, with an indefinable mockery beyond words.</p>
+
+<p>"Bentley," I whispered, as Raikes slowly kicked off his boots one after
+the other, "this fellow's a madman beyond a doubt, or we are dreaming."
+Bentley's reply was something betwixt a groan and a choke, and looking
+round, I saw that his face was purple.</p>
+
+<p>"Man, don't do that," I cried, "you'll burst a blood-vessel!"</p>
+
+<p>"Come," says the fellow, breaking off his whistle of a sudden, and
+turning over the garments at his feet with the toe of his boot, "you
+wouldn't go for to cheat me out of your breeches, would you? Come now,
+master, off with 'em, I say, for look ye, I mislike to be kept waiting
+for a thing as I wants&mdash;such being my natur', d'ye take me?"</p>
+
+<p>Sir Harry Raikes stood rigid, his face dead white&mdash;only his burning eyes
+and twitching mouth told of the baffled fury that was beyond all words.
+Twice he essayed to speak and could not&mdash;once he turned to look at us
+with an expression of such hopeless misery and mute appeal as moved even
+me to pity. As for the highwayman, he began to whistle and swing his
+legs once more.</p>
+
+<p>"Bentley," says I, "this must go no farther."</p>
+
+<p>"What can we do?" gasped Bentley, and laid his heavy hand upon my arm.</p>
+
+<p>"Come," says the fellow again, rising to his feet.</p>
+
+<p>"No," cries Raikes, in a choking voice, "not for all the devils in
+hell!"</p>
+
+<p>"I'll count five," grinned the fellow, and he levelled his pistols.</p>
+
+<p>"One!" says he, but Raikes never stirred&mdash;"Two," the harsh, inexorable
+voice went on, "three&mdash;four&mdash;" There was a sudden wild sob, and Sir
+Harry Raikes was shivering in his hat and shirt. The highwayman now
+turned his attention to Raikes's horse&mdash;though keeping a wary eye upon
+us&mdash;and having drawn both pistols from their holsters, motioned him to
+remount. Sir Harry obeyed with never so much as a word; which done, the
+fellow gave a whistle, upon which a horse appeared from the shadow of
+the hedge beyond, from whose saddle he took two lengths of cord, and
+beckoning to the Captain, set him to bind Raikes very securely to the
+stirrup-leathers. As one in a dream the Captain proceeded about it
+(bungling somewhat in the operation), but it was done at last.</p>
+
+<p>"Now, my masters," says the fellow briskly, "I must trouble each one of
+you for his barkers&mdash;and no tricks, mark me, no tricks!" With this he
+nodded to Bentley, who yielded up his weapons after a momentary
+hesitation, while the Captain seemed positively eager to part with his,
+and I in my turn was necessitated to do the same.</p>
+
+<p>It may be a matter of wonder to some, that one man could so easily
+disarm four, but 'tis readily understood if you have looked into the
+muzzle of a horse-pistol held within a few inches of your head.</p>
+
+<p>Thus, all being completed, the highwayman, having mounted, gave us the
+word to proceed, Bentley and I riding first, then Raikes and the
+Captain, and last of all the fellow, pistol in hand. So thus it was, in
+the dusk of the evening, that we came into Tonbridge Town, with never a
+word betwixt us&mdash;myself silent from sheer amazement, the Captain for
+reasons of his own, Sir Harry Raikes for very obvious causes, but mostly
+(as I judge) on account of his chattering teeth, and Bentley because a
+man cannot whistle "Lillibuleero" beneath his breath and talk at the
+same time.</p>
+
+<p>Lights were beginning to gleam at windows as we entered the High Street,
+and here I made sure the highwayman would have left us&mdash;but no, on
+turning my head, there he rode, close behind&mdash;his battered hat over his
+nose, and his pistol in his hand, for all the world as if we were back
+on the open road rather than the main thoroughfare of a Christian town.</p>
+
+<p>By this time we were become a mark for many eyes; people came running
+from all sides, the air hummed with voices; shouts were heard, mingled
+with laughter and jeers, but we rode on, and through it all at a gallop.
+As we passed "The Chequers" I saw the windows full of faces, and
+Truscott and Finch with five or six others came running out to stare
+after us open mouthed. So we galloped through Tonbridge Town, and never
+drew rein until we were out upon the open road once more. There the
+fellow stopped us.</p>
+
+<p>"Masters all," says he, "'tis here we part&mdash;maybe you'll forget
+me&mdash;maybe not&mdash;especially one of you; d'ye take me?" and he pointed to
+the shivering figure of Raikes. "The wind is plaguily chill I'll allow,
+but burn me! could I be blamed for that, my masters&mdash;what, all silent?
+Well! Well! Howsomever, give me that trinket, Master&mdash;just to show
+there's no ill-feeling, so to speak; and he indicated a small gold
+locket that Raikes wore round his neck on a riband, who, without a word,
+or even looking up, slipped it off and laid it in the other's
+outstretched hand.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, good-night, my masters, good-night!" says he, in his jovial
+voice; "maybe we shall meet again, who knows? My best respects to you
+all&mdash;me being respectful by natur'. Good-night." So, with an awkward
+flourish of his hat, he wheeled his horse and galloped away towards
+London.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_126" id="Page_126">[Pg 126]</a></span></p>
+
+<p class="p3br center smcap" style="font-size:1.5em">Chapter Five</p>
+
+<p class="center" style="font-size:1.1em"><i>Concerning the true Identity of our High-<br />wayman</i></p>
+
+<p class="p2br"></p>
+
+<p>'Twas some half-hour later that we found Jack in his library, seated
+before the fire, his wine at his elbow and Pen at his feet, reading
+aloud from Mr. Steele's "Tatler."</p>
+
+<p>Upon our sudden appearance Penelope rose, and looked from myself to
+Bentley a trifle anxiously I thought. Now, as I made my bow to her, I
+heard Bentley softly begin to whistle "Lillibuleero," and though I had
+heard him do so many times before, it suddenly struck me that this was
+the air the highwayman fellow had whistled as he sat swinging his legs
+upon the bridge.</p>
+
+<p>"Bentley, to-day is Wednesday!" I expostulated, as breaking off in the
+middle of a bar, he kissed Pen full upon the lips.</p>
+
+<p>"To be sure it is," says he, and kissed her again upon the cheek.</p>
+
+<p>"And ten o'clock," added Jack, "and time all maids were abed."</p>
+
+<p>"Not before I even matters," says I. "I'll give second place to none,
+least of all Bentley!" And I having kissed her twice&mdash;once upon the
+cheek for Wednesday, and once upon the lips for myself,&mdash;she dropped us
+a laughing courtesy, and with a final good-night kiss for Jack, and a
+nod to each of us, ran up to bed. But even then Bentley must needs
+follow her out to the stairs and stand there whispering his
+nonsense&mdash;which goes but to prove the jealous nature of the man!</p>
+
+<p>"What's to do?" says Jack, pushing the wine towards me. "I've sat here
+with the cards beside me ever since eight o'clock&mdash;what's to do?"</p>
+
+<p>"Why, you must know," I began, "we were stopped at the cross roads by a
+highwayman&mdash;myself and Bentley, with Captain Hammersley and Sir Harry
+Raikes&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>Here Bentley, returning, must needs throw himself into a chair, laughing
+and choking all at once.</p>
+
+<p>"Raikes&mdash;" he gasped,&mdash;"in his shirt&mdash;by the Lord! Oh, egad, Jack!
+fluttering in the wind&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"What in the world!" began Jack, staring. "Is he drunk or mad?"</p>
+
+<p>"As I tell you," says I, loosening Bentley's cravat, "we were stopped by
+a highwayman&mdash;" and forthwith I plunged into an account of the whole
+matter.</p>
+
+<p>"Egad!" cries Bentley again, breaking in ere I was half done, "here was
+Dick offering Raikes a choice betwixt his horsewhip and his sword&mdash;and
+he, look you, a full six inches shorter in the reach, while I&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"You!" says I, "he couldn't help but pink you somewhere or other at the
+first pass&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Well, Raikes was a-sneering as I say," pursued Bentley, "when up comes
+our highwayman and coolly strips him to his very shirt, Jack&mdash;ties him
+to his horse, and parades him all through Tonbridge&mdash;rat me!&mdash;and as I
+tell you, the wind, Jack&mdash;'t was cursedly cold, and&mdash;and&mdash;oh! strike me
+purple!" Here Bentley choked again, and while I thumped his back, he and
+Jack rolled in their chairs, and shook the very casements with their
+laughter.</p>
+
+<p>"His shirt?" gasped Jack at last, wiping his eyes.</p>
+
+<p>"His shirt," groaned Bentley, wiping his.</p>
+
+<p>"Lord!" cries Jack, "Lord! 'twill be the talk of the town," says he,
+after a while.</p>
+
+<p>"To be sure it will," says Bentley, and hereupon they fell a-roaring
+with laughter again. For my part, what betwixt thumping Bentley's back
+and the memory of Christmas morning now so near, I was sober enough.</p>
+
+<p>They were still howling with laughter, and Bentley's face had already
+assumed a bluish tinge, when the door opened and a servant appeared, who
+handed a letter to Jack. Still laughing, he took it and broke the seal;
+at sight of the first words, however, his face underwent a sudden
+change. "Is the messenger here?" says he, very sharp.</p>
+
+<p>"No, Sir John."</p>
+
+<p>"Humph!" says Jack, "you may go then;" and he began to read. But he had
+not read a dozen words when he broke out into his customary oath.</p>
+
+<p>"May the devil anoint me! Did you ever hear the like of that, now?"</p>
+
+<p>"What?" says I.</p>
+
+<p>"I say, did you ever hear the like of it?" he repeated. "Dick and
+Bentley, this fellow is the very devil!"</p>
+
+<p>"What fellow?" says I.</p>
+
+<p>"Lay you fifty it's Tawnish," gurgled Bentley.</p>
+
+<p>"Done!" says I.</p>
+
+<p>"A deuced pretty coil, on my soul!" says Jack, beginning to limp up and
+down, "oh, a deuced pretty coil&mdash;damn the fellow!"</p>
+
+<p>"What fellow?" says I again.</p>
+
+<p>"Make it a hundred?" says Bentley, in my ear.</p>
+
+<p>"What fellow?" cries Jack, taking me up, "d'ye mean to sit there and ask
+what fellow&mdash;whom should it be?"</p>
+
+<p>"Aye, who indeed?" added Bentley.</p>
+
+<p>"If it's Raikes&mdash;" I began.</p>
+
+<p>"Raikes," roars Jack, snatching his wig off, "Raikes&mdash;bah!"</p>
+
+<p>"Then supposing you will be so very obliging as to tell us who the devil
+you do mean?"</p>
+
+<p>"Why, aren't I trying to?" cries Jack, indignantly, "but you give a man
+no chance between you. Listen to this." And, having re-settled his wig,
+he drew the candles nearer to him and read as follows:</p>
+
+<p>"'My very dear Sir John&mdash;'</p>
+
+<p>("The devil anoint his very dear Sir John!)</p>
+
+<p>"'It gives me infinite pleasure to have the honour of telling
+you&mdash;'</p>
+
+<p>("There's a line for you!)</p>
+
+<p>"'of telling you that the second of my tasks is now
+accomplished&mdash;to wit, that of making Sir Harry Raikes a
+laughing-stock.'"</p>
+
+<p>"What?" I cried.</p>
+
+<p>"Listen," says Jack.</p>
+
+<p>"'Whether a gentleman riding abroad in naught but his hat and shirt
+is a sufficiently laughable matter, or an object of derision,
+depends altogether upon the point of view, and I must leave your
+friends, namely, Sir Richard Eden and Mr. Bentley, to decide. There
+remains now but one more undertaking, that of putting you
+all&mdash;together and at the same time&mdash;at a disadvantage, which I
+shall confidently hope to perform so soon as Dame Fortune will
+permit.</p>
+
+<p>"'I am returning their pistols to Sir Richard Eden and Mr. Bentley
+to-night.</p>
+
+<p>"'Trusting that you and yours are blooming in all health, I beg to
+subscribe myself,</p>
+
+<p>"'Your most obedient, humble servant to command,</p>
+
+<p class="right">"'<span class="smcap">Horatio Tawnish.</span>'"</p>
+
+<p>"Tawnish?" says I.</p>
+
+<p>"Tawnish," says Bentley.</p>
+
+<p>"Tawnish!" says Jack. "Devil take him!"</p>
+
+<p>"By heaven!" says I, remembering the grim, determined figure of the
+highwayman, "by heaven, he has a man's body beneath his silks and laces
+after all."</p>
+
+<p>"Egad!" says Jack, sourly, "I almost think you love the fellow."</p>
+
+<p>"On my soul!" says I, "I almost think I do."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_136" id="Page_136">[Pg 136]</a></span></p>
+
+<p class="p3br center smcap" style="font-size:1.5em">Chapter Six</p>
+
+<p class="center" style="font-size:1.1em"><i>Of the Dawning of Christmas Day</i></p>
+
+<p class="p2br"></p>
+
+<p>In most lives (as I suppose) there is a time which, looming ahead of us
+dark and sombre, fills us with a direful expectancy and a thousand
+boding fears, so that with every dawn we thank God that it is not yet.
+Still, the respite thus allowed brings us little ease, for the knowledge
+of its coming haunts us through the day and night, creeping upon us
+nearer and nearer with every tick of the clock, until the last chime has
+rung&mdash;until the sand is all run down in the glass, and we are left face
+to face with our destiny to front it as we may.</p>
+
+<p>Christmas Day was dawning. From my window I had watched the first pale
+light gather little by little beyond the distant trees, until the whole
+dismal scene had come into view.</p>
+
+<p>It had snowed all night, and now everything showed beneath a white
+burden that, as I watched, seemed horribly suggestive of shrouds; so I
+turned from the casement with a shiver, and drawing the curtains, sat
+down before the fire (which I had mended during the night), dejected in
+mind, and heavy with lack of sleep. Somewhere further down the corridor
+I could hear Bentley snoring, and the sound, rising and falling in the
+quietude with wearisome monotony, irritated my fractious nerves to that
+degree that I was of half a mind to go and wake him. Since Penelope had
+left for London, two days before, he and I had been staying with Jack at
+the Manor. And very silent the great place had seemed without her; Jack
+had been more fretful than usual, and more than once I had thrown down
+my cards in a huff, for cards, after all, were a very sorry substitute
+for our lovely, laughing Pen. Hereupon I must needs fall to thinking of
+her mother (as indeed I oft do of late)&mdash;dead now these twenty years and
+more. But what are years after all to one who has loved as I? And from
+the broken threads of my life that was, I began to weave a life of the
+"might have been"&mdash;a fuller, richer life, perfected by love, and a
+woman's sweet companionship&mdash;so very different to the lonely life that
+was mine. Well, she had decreed otherwise,&mdash;and now&mdash;now she was
+dead&mdash;and I an old man, and lonely. But Jack had loved her passing well,
+and he was lonely too&mdash;and Bentley likewise&mdash;Bentley, who was snoring
+like a grampus. I rose, and slipping on some clothes, stepped out into
+the corridor. But with my hand upon the latch of his bedroom door I
+stopped, and changing my mind, went down the stairs to the library. To
+my surprise the candles were still burning, and through the open door I
+saw Jack sprawled across the table, his face buried in his hands, and
+beside him Penelope's miniature. Now as I stood there hesitating, I saw
+his shoulders heaving very strangely, wherefore, turning about, I began
+to creep softly up the stairs again, lest he should find himself
+discovered. Half-way up, however, I heard the scrape of his chair as he
+rose, and a moment after the sound of his step, firm and resolute as
+ever, noting which I turned and came down again, coughing very naturally
+as I reached the last stair.</p>
+
+<p>"Ah, Dick!" says he, as he turned and saw me, "A Merry Christmas to
+thee."</p>
+
+<p>Now it had ever been our custom, since he and I and Bentley were lads
+together at Charterhouse, at this so happy season to greet each other
+thus, but for once I found the words to stick most woefully, and for no
+reason in the world my eyes wandered from his face to the miniature upon
+the table, seeing which he picked it up&mdash;yet kept it covered in his
+hand.</p>
+
+<p>"Dick," says he, staring up at the cornice very hard, "we loved her
+mother well&mdash;passing well&mdash;you, and Bentley, and I."</p>
+
+<p>"Aye," says I, "we did."</p>
+
+<p>"This was the first great sorrow of my life&mdash;that by my happiness you
+two were rendered desolate," says he, laying his hand upon my shoulder.</p>
+
+<p>"No, no," says I.</p>
+
+<p>"Yes," says he, "think you I have been so blind, Dick?"</p>
+
+<p>"You were her choice," says I.</p>
+
+<p>"True, I was her choice," he repeated, "and methinks it came nigh
+breaking both your hearts, yet you were my friends still&mdash;the old bonds
+were too strong for self to break them."</p>
+
+<p>"'T were a poor friendship else," says I.</p>
+
+<p>"And now, Dick," says he, with his eyes on the cornice again, "there is
+Pen," and I saw his lips quiver slightly.</p>
+
+<p>"Aye," I nodded, "there's Pen&mdash;our Pen."</p>
+
+<p>I felt his fingers tighten on my shoulder, but he was silent.</p>
+
+<p>"When I go out to-day," says he at last, and stopped.</p>
+
+<p>"When I go out to-day&mdash;" he began once more, and stopped again; then,
+with a sudden gesture, he thrust the miniature into my hand. "You and
+Bentley!" says he, and turned to the papers that littered the table.
+"You understand?" says he, over his shoulder.</p>
+
+<p>"Yes," says I, from the window, gazing across the bleak, grey desolation
+of the park. "Yes, I understand."</p>
+
+<p>"I've been setting my papers in order, Dick,&mdash;a hard business," says he,
+with a rueful shake of the head, "a hard business, Dick&mdash;and now I'm
+minded to write a few lines to her, and that methinks will be harder
+yet." And passing his hand wearily over his brow, he took up his pen.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh Jack&mdash;Jack," says I, suddenly, "there may be hope yet&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"None," says he, quietly; "I was ever a fool with the small-sword, as
+you will remember, Dick. But I do not repine&mdash;you and Bentley are left."</p>
+
+<p>So I presently went up-stairs again, and this time I did not pass
+Bentley's door, but entering, found him already nearly dressed, and as I
+live!&mdash;a-whistling of his eternal "Lillibuleero."</p>
+
+<p>"Bentley," says I, sharply, "you surely forget what day it is?"</p>
+
+<p>"No," says he, reaching out his hand with a smile. "A Merry Christmas,
+Dick!"</p>
+
+<p>But seeing my look, and how I shrank from his proffered hand, his face
+grew solemn all in a moment.</p>
+
+<p>"Good God, man!" I cried, "cannot you understand!" and with the words, I
+held up the miniature before his eyes. "From to-day she is in our care
+alone&mdash;her mother died twenty years ago&mdash;and to-day&mdash;poor Jack&mdash;oh, damn
+your Merry Christmas!&mdash;are you so utterly heartless and without feeling,
+or only a blind fool?"</p>
+
+<p>And with this I turned my back fairly upon him and hurried from the
+room.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_145" id="Page_145">[Pg 145]</a></span></p>
+
+<p class="p3br center smcap" style="font-size:1.5em">Chapter Seven</p>
+
+<p class="center" style="font-size:1.1em"><i>Which deals, among other Matters, with<br />the Ring of Steel</i></p>
+
+<p class="p2br"></p>
+
+<p>My anger toward Bentley, sudden though it may appear, was scarcely the
+outcome of the moment. I could not but call to mind the thousand little
+things he had both done and said during the past weeks that demonstrated
+the strange indifference he had shown toward the whole affair. Thus, as
+the day advanced, my feeling against him grew but the more intense.
+Looking back on it now, I am inclined to put this down partly to the
+reason already stated, partly to lack of sleep, and partly to the
+carking care that had gnawed at my heart all these weeks&mdash;though even
+now I am inclined to think that his conduct, as I then viewed it,
+justified my resentment.</p>
+
+<p>I noticed as the day advanced that he seemed to be labouring under some
+strong excitement, and more than once he manifested a desire to speak
+with me aside, but I took good care to give him no opportunity. At
+length, however, Jack chancing to be out of the room for a moment, he
+seized me by the arm ere I could escape him.</p>
+
+<p>"Dick&mdash;" he began.</p>
+
+<p>"Sir!" I cut in, shaking myself free of him, "whatever explanation you
+may have to offer for your strange, and&mdash;yes, sir&mdash;utterly heartless
+conduct of late, I beg that you will let it stand until this most
+unhappy affair is over&mdash;I'm in no mood for it now." He fell back from
+me, staring as one utterly bewildered for a moment, then he smiled.</p>
+
+<p>"If you will but listen, Dick&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Sir," says I, drawing away from him, "I have asked no explanation at
+your hands, and desire none&mdash;the callousness which you have shown so
+persistently of late has utterly broken down and severed once and for
+all whatever feeling of friendship I may have entertained for you
+hitherto."</p>
+
+<p>"You don't mean it&mdash;you can never mean it," says he, stretching out an
+eager hand towards me. "Dick, do but listen&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Mean it, sir!" I repeated, "I tell you it is but the memory of that
+dead friendship which stays me from calling upon you to account to me
+with your sword."</p>
+
+<p>"But," he stammered, "you&mdash;you would never&mdash;you could never&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Enough, sir," says I, "I have no desire for further speech with
+you&mdash;save that it would be well at least to keep up an appearance of the
+old relationship, until this affair is over and done with."</p>
+
+<p>"Why, Dick!" says he, his lips twitching strangely, "why&mdash;Dick!" and
+with the word he turned suddenly and left me.</p>
+
+<p>The duel had been settled for twelve o'clock, and it was exactly half
+after eleven by my chronometer when a servant came to warn us that the
+coach was at the door. So we presently descended and got in with never
+a word betwixt us. When men know each other so thoroughly, there is no
+need for the mask of gaiety to be held up as is usual at such times;
+thus we rode very silent and thoughtful for the most part, until we
+heard Purdy, the surgeon, hailing us from where he stood waiting at the
+cross roads as had been arranged.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, sirs," says he, nodding and frowning at us in his sharp way as he
+took his seat, "and how is the foot?"</p>
+
+<p>"Right as a trivet!" says Jack.</p>
+
+<p>"I question that," says Purdy, dogmatically; "that tendon cannot be well
+for a full month yet&mdash;curse me if it can! They tell me," he went on,
+"that the other side has young Prothero&mdash;gentlemen, mark my
+words!&mdash;Prothero's a stark, staring fool&mdash;a positive ass!&mdash;A man breaks
+his leg&mdash;'Give him a clyster!' says Prothero. A child has
+teething-rash!&mdash;'A clyster! a clyster!' cries Prothero. A boy has the
+collywobbles or mumps&mdash;'A clyster!' says Prothero. Mark me, gentlemen,
+should Sir John here pink his man, depend upon it Prothero will finish
+him with a clyster!"</p>
+
+<p>This journey, which I had made a thousand times and more, never seemed
+so short as it did upon this Christmas morning, yet I for one
+experienced a feeling akin to relief as we were ushered into the sanded
+parlour of "The Chequers."</p>
+
+<p>We found Raikes arrived before us, seated at a table with Hammersley,
+Finch, and four or five others whose faces were familiar, and a
+heathenish uproar they were making. Upon our entrance they fell silent,
+however, and exchanged bows with us ere we sat down.</p>
+
+<p>If the episode of the shirt was not forgot, 'twas at least accounted by
+most the wiser policy to let it so appear, though all Tonbridge&mdash;nay,
+all the country round&mdash;rung with the story behind Sir Harry's back, and
+indeed (as I well know) 'tis laughed over by many to this day.</p>
+
+<p>And now being here, and noting the cleared floor and the other
+preparations for what was to follow, and looking at Jack beside me so
+full of strength and life, and bethinking me of what he might be so very
+soon, a deadly nausea came upon me, such as I had never felt before on
+such occasions, so that I was forced to sit down.</p>
+
+<p>"Nay, Dick," says Jack, shaking his head, "I have no mind to wait; get
+it over for me as soon as may be."</p>
+
+<p>"No, no," says Bentley, sharply, "at least let us have a bottle of wine
+first," and on this point he was so insistent that Jack was ultimately
+forced to give in to him, though even then Bentley seemed ill-content,
+for he fell to fidgetting awkwardly in his chair, and compared his
+chronometer with the clock full a dozen times in as many minutes.</p>
+
+<p>The crowd at the other table grew uproarious again, and more than once I
+heard the Captain's high-pitched laugh.</p>
+
+<p>"Bentley," says I, "'tis past twelve o'clock."</p>
+
+<p>"Yes," says he, and began straightway upon "Lillibuleero."</p>
+
+<p>Jack started and looked up.</p>
+
+<p>"Come, Dick, let us begin at once."</p>
+
+<p>"The wine's not all out yet," says Bentley, with his eyes upon the clock
+again; and now I noticed for the first time that his cheeks were devoid
+of all colour and his face seemed strangely peaked and haggard.</p>
+
+<p>At this moment, Jack rising, I had perforce to do the same, seeing which
+the party at the other table ceased their uproar of a sudden and a deep
+silence fell as Captain Hammersley advanced to meet me, and having
+bowed, spun a coin in the air to decide choice of ground.</p>
+
+<p>"Jack," says I, as I rejoined him, "you will fight with your back to
+the door, though there is little difference save that the wall is a
+trifle lighter there, and will make you less conspicuous."</p>
+
+<p>Jack nodded, and with Bentley's aid, began removing his coat and
+waistcoat.</p>
+
+<p>"Dick," says Bentley, in my ear, speaking in a strange, uneven voice,
+such as I had never heard from his lips before, while Jack busied
+himself untying his cravat&mdash;"Dick, they must not&mdash;shall not fight," and
+I saw that the sweat stood out in great drops upon his brow.</p>
+
+<p>"In God's name, Bentley, what's to stop them now?" says I, whereupon he
+turned away with a strange wringing motion of his hands, and seeing how
+those hands trembled, I became aware that mine were doing the same.</p>
+
+<p>"Be so good as to take your ground, gentlemen," said Captain Hammersley,
+advancing with the small-swords beneath his arm. Jack stepped forward at
+once, followed a moment later by Raikes. Each in turn took his weapon,
+saluted, and fell to his guard.</p>
+
+<p>I was just holding the crossed blades and Hammersley had scarce begun
+the count, when there arose a sudden clamour without, the door was flung
+open, and Mr. Tawnish stood bowing upon the threshold.</p>
+
+<p>"Ah!" says he, tripping forward daintily, in one hand his handkerchief,
+while with the other he gracefully waved his laced hat, "an affair of
+honour, I perceive. On my soul now, it gives me real pain to intrude
+myself thus&mdash;it desolates me, positively it does&mdash;but, gentlemen, this
+cannot go on."</p>
+
+<p>"Cannot go on&mdash;the devil, sir!" broke in the Captain loudly, "and who
+says so?"</p>
+
+<p>"I say so, sir," returned Mr. Tawnish, with his slow smile, "and should
+you care to hear it, I'll say so again, sir."</p>
+
+<p>"On what grounds?" says Hammersley, frowning.</p>
+
+<p>"On the grounds that mine is the prior claim to the sword of Sir Harry
+Raikes."</p>
+
+<p>"Bah!" cries Raikes, with a short laugh, "give the count, Hammersley,
+and we will begin."</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Tawnish closed and fobbed his snuff-box.</p>
+
+<p>"I think not, sir," says he, very quietly.</p>
+
+<p>"Mr. Tawnish," says Jack, "I have waited over a month to fight this
+gentleman."</p>
+
+<p>"Sir John," says Tawnish, bowing, "your pardon, but I have waited even
+longer&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Whatever quarrel you may have with me, sir," Raikes broke in, "shall
+wait my time and pleasure."</p>
+
+<p>"I think not," says Mr. Tawnish again, his smile more engaging and his
+blue eyes more dreamy than ever; "on the contrary, I have a reason here
+which I venture to hope will make you change your mind."</p>
+
+<p>"A reason?" says Raikes, starting as he met the other's look. "What
+reason?"</p>
+
+<p>"That!" says Mr. Tawnish, and tossed something to Sir Harry's feet.</p>
+
+<p>Now as it lay there upon the sand, I saw that it was a small gold
+locket. For maybe a full minute there was a dead silence, while Raikes
+stared down at the locket, and Mr. Tawnish took a pinch of snuff.</p>
+
+<p>"Who gave you this?" says Raikes suddenly, and in a strange voice.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Tawnish flicked-to the enamelled lid of his snuff-box very
+delicately with one white finger.</p>
+
+<p>"I took it," says he, blandly, "from a poor devil who sat shivering in
+his shirt."</p>
+
+<p>"You!" says Raikes, in so low a tone as to be almost a whisper&mdash;"you?"</p>
+
+<p>"I," returned Mr. Tawnish, with a bow.</p>
+
+<p>"Liar!" says Raikes, in the same dangerously suppressed murmur.</p>
+
+<p>"As to that," says Mr. Tawnish, shrugging his shoulders, "I will leave
+you to judge for yourself, sir."</p>
+
+<p>With the words, he slipped off his wig and turned his back to us for a
+moment. When he fronted us again, there stood our highwayman, his
+restless eyes gleaming evilly through the slits of his half-mask, the
+mocking smile upon his lips, the same grotesque figure beyond all doubt,
+despite his silks and laces.</p>
+
+<p>"So, my masters," says he, in the same rough, half-jovial tone there was
+no mistaking, "I says to you, maybe we should meet again, I says, and
+I've kept my word&mdash;such being my natur'&mdash;d'ye take me?"</p>
+
+<p>There broke from Sir Harry's lips an inarticulate snarl of fury as he
+leaped forward, but I managed to get between them, and Bentley had
+wrested the sword from his grasp in an instant.</p>
+
+<p>"Damnation!" cries he, quivering with passion, "give us the swords."</p>
+
+<p>"Sir," says Mr. Tawnish, bowing to the Captain, "you see, I was right,
+after all&mdash;the gentleman seems positively eager to oblige me."</p>
+
+<p>And, having readjusted his wig, he proceeded in his leisurely fashion to
+remove his coat and high-heeled shoes, and to tuck up his long ruffles.</p>
+
+<p>And now, all being ready, the thin, narrow blades rang together. Raikes
+was too expert a swordsman to let his passion master him a second time,
+and as the two faced each other there was not a pin to choose betwixt
+'em: nay, if anything, Sir Harry would almost seem the better man, what
+with his superior height and length of limb. There was, too, a certain
+gleam in his eye, and a confident smile on his lips that I remembered to
+have seen there the day he killed poor Richards.</p>
+
+<p>He opened his attack with a thrust in <i>tierce</i>, followed by a <i>longe</i> so
+swift and well timed that it came nigh ending the matter there and then,
+but it was parried&mdash;heaven knows how&mdash;and I heard Jack sigh behind me.</p>
+
+<p>Indeed, on this occasion Sir Harry fought with all that impetuosity
+which, seconded by his incredible quickness of recovery, had rendered
+him famous. A very dangerous opponent he looked, with his great length
+of arm; and his face, with its menacing brow and gritted teeth, spoke
+his purpose more plainly than any words. Mr. Tawnish, on the other hand,
+preserved his usual serene composure, fencing with a certain airy grace
+that seemed habitual with him in all things.</p>
+
+<p>Momentarily, the fighting grew but the fiercer, Sir Harry sending in
+thrust after thrust, with now and then a sudden, vicious <i>longe</i> which,
+it seemed, Mr. Tawnish had much ado to put aside; twice, in as many
+moments, Sir Harry's point flashed over his shoulder, missing his throat
+by a hair, and once it rent the cambric of his sleeve from the elbow up;
+yet the pale serenity of his face remained unchanged, his placid calm
+unbroken, save, perhaps, that his eyes were a trifle wider and brighter,
+and his chin more than usually prominent. And still they fought, fast
+and furious as ever, and though Raikes came dangerously near time and
+time again, his point was always met and parried.</p>
+
+<p>Minutes passed that seemed hours&mdash;there were sudden pauses when we could
+detect the thud of feet and the hiss of breath drawn sharply between
+shut teeth. And now, to my amazement, I saw that Mr. Tawnish was
+pressing the attack, answering thrust with thrust, and <i>longe</i> with
+<i>longe</i>. The fighting grew to a positive frenzy; the shivering blades
+rang with their swift changes from <i>quarte</i> to <i>tierce</i>.</p>
+
+<p>"Such a pace cannot last," says I, to no one in particular, "the end
+must come soon!"</p>
+
+<p>Almost with the words, I saw Mr. Tawnish's blade waver aimlessly; Raikes
+saw it too, and drove in a lightning thrust. There was a sharp clash of
+meeting steel, a flurry of blades, and Sir Harry Raikes staggered back,
+his eyes wide and staring, threw up his arms, and pitching forward,
+rolled over with a groan.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_165" id="Page_165">[Pg 165]</a></span></p>
+
+<p class="p3br center smcap" style="font-size:1.5em">Chapter Eight</p>
+
+<p class="center" style="font-size:1.1em"><i>Wherein the Truth of the old Adage is made<br />manifest&mdash;to wit: All's well
+that<br />ends well</i></p>
+
+<p class="p2br"></p>
+
+<p>So swift and altogether unexpected had been the end, that for a long
+minute there was a strange, tense stillness, a silence wherein all eyes
+were turned from the motionless form on the floor, with the
+ever-widening stain upon the snow of his shirt, to where Mr. Tawnish
+stood, leaning upon his small-sword. Then all at once pandemonium seemed
+to break loose&mdash;some running to lift the wounded man, some wandering
+round aimlessly, but all talking excitedly, and at the same time.</p>
+
+<p>"Dick and Bentley," says Jack, mopping at his face with his
+handkerchief, "it's in my mind that we have made a cursed mistake for
+once&mdash;the fellow is a man."</p>
+
+<p>"I've known that this month and more," says I.</p>
+
+<p>"I say a man," repeated Jack, "and devil anoint me, I mean a man!"</p>
+
+<p>"Who writes verses!" added Bentley.</p>
+
+<p>"And what of that, sir?" cries Jack, indignantly. "I did the same myself
+once&mdash;we all did."</p>
+
+<p>"A patched and powdered puppy-dog!" sneers Bentley; "look at him."</p>
+
+<p>Now at this, glancing across at Mr. Tawnish, I saw that he still stood
+as before, only that the point of his sword was buried deep in the floor
+beneath his weight, while his pale face seemed paler even than its
+wont. As we watched, his hand slipped suddenly from the hilt, and he
+tottered slightly; then I noticed for the first time that blood was
+running down his right arm, and trickling from his finger-tips.</p>
+
+<p>With an exclamation, I started forward, but Bentley's grasp was on my
+shoulder, and his voice whispered in my ear: "Leave him to Jack&mdash;'tis
+better so." And indeed Jack was already beside him, had flung one arm
+about the swaying figure, and half led, half carried him to a chair.</p>
+
+<p>"Ah!" says Purdy, laying bare a great gash in the upper arm&mdash;"a little
+blood, but simple&mdash;simple!" and he fell to work a-sponging and
+bandaging, with a running exordium upon the humanity of the sword as
+opposed to the more deadly bullet&mdash;until at length, the dressing in
+place, Mr. Tawnish sighed and opened his eyes.</p>
+
+<p>"Sir John," says he, sitting up, "give me leave to tell you that my
+third and last task was accomplished this morning."</p>
+
+<p>"Eh?" cries Jack, "but first, let me get you out of this."</p>
+
+<p>"What of Sir Harry Raikes?" says Tawnish, rising.</p>
+
+<p>"Serious," says Purdy, shaking his head, "serious, but not altogether
+dangerous."</p>
+
+<p>"Good!" says Jack, giving his arm to Mr. Tawnish, "I'm glad of that."</p>
+
+<p>"Though," pursued Purdy, "he will be an invalid for months to come, the
+right lung&mdash;as I pointed out to my colleague, Prothero&mdash;a man of very
+excellent sense, by the way&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>At this juncture, at a sign from Prothero, Purdy left us with a bow.
+Hereupon we saluted the others, and turning into an adjacent room,
+called for wine and filled our glasses to Mr. Tawnish, with all the
+honours.</p>
+
+<p>As he rose to make his acknowledgment, for the first time in my
+recollection he seemed ill at ease.</p>
+
+<p>"Sir John, and gentlemen," says he, slowly, "I had scarce looked for
+this kindness at your hands&mdash;it makes what I have to say harder than I
+had thought. Gentlemen," he continued, after a brief pause, "you each in
+turn set me an undertaking, little thinking at the time that there was
+any likelihood of my fulfilling them. As you know, however, the first
+two I accomplished some time since, and this morning I succeeded in the
+last, namely, in taking all three of you, together and at the same time,
+at a disadvantage. Sir John, gentlemen&mdash;scarce an hour ago the Lady
+Penelope Chester became my wife."</p>
+
+<p>Jack started up from the table with an oath, and fell back, staring at
+the speaker with knitted brows&mdash;while Bentley gazed open-mouthed&mdash;as for
+me, I could do nothing but think that our Pen was gone from our keeping
+at last.</p>
+
+<p>"By Gad, Jack, he's done us," cried Bentley, fetching the table a great
+blow with his fist.</p>
+
+<p>Now, as I stood with my back to them, staring out into the yard below,
+my eyes encountered a great, four-horsed travelling chariot, and as I
+watched it, gloomily enough, the door was flung suddenly open, and ere
+the waiting footman could let down the steps a lady leapt lightly out
+and stood looking up at the windows. All at once she turned and gazed
+straight up at me&mdash;then I saw that it was Pen. With a wave of her hand
+she darted up the steps, and a moment later was in the room.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh, I could wait no longer!" she cried, looking round with the tears in
+her lovely eyes, "we have been wed but an hour, and I have sat there
+praying 'twixt hope and fear, until methought I should go mad."</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_172" id="Page_172">[Pg 172]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter">
+<img src="images/col004.jpg"
+  width="329" height="475" alt="Page 159." title="Page 159." />
+</div>
+<div class="center">"Father," says she, "this is my husband&mdash;and I am<br />proud to tell you so."&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>Page 159</i>.</div>
+
+<p>Here, catching sight of Tawnish with
+his wounded arm, she uttered a low cry, and in a moment was kneeling
+beside him, kissing his uninjured hand, and fondling it with a thousand
+endearing terms. And seeing the infinite tenderness in his eyes and the
+love-light in her own, I was possessed of a sudden, great content. In a
+while, remembering us, she looked up, and, though her cheeks were red,
+her glance met ours freely and unashamed.</p>
+
+<p>"Father," says she, "this is my husband&mdash;and I am proud to tell you so."</p>
+
+<p>There was a moment's silence, and Jack's frown grew the blacker.</p>
+
+<p>"Father," says she again, "I am not so simple but that I found out your
+quarrel with Sir Harry, and knew that you came hither to-day to meet
+your death&mdash;so&mdash;so I sought aid of this noble gentleman. Yet first I
+begged of him to marry me, that if&mdash;if he had died to-day in your place,
+I could have mourned him as a beloved husband. Can you forgive me,
+father?"</p>
+
+<p>As Pen ended, she rose and approached Jack with outstretched hands; for
+a moment longer he hesitated&mdash;then he had her in his embrace.</p>
+
+<p>"And you, Uncle Bentley," says she, looking at us from Jack's arms,
+"and, Uncle Dick, dear, tender Uncle Dick, can you forgive your wilful
+maid?"</p>
+
+<p>"God knows, my dear, there's naught to forgive," says I, "save that you
+are leaving us&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Nay, Sir Richard," cries Mr. Tawnish, "Uncle Bentley has seen to
+that&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Uncle!" says Jack.</p>
+
+<p>"Uncle!" says I.</p>
+
+<p>"Can it be possible," says Mr. Tawnish, rising, "that you are still
+unaware of the relationship?"</p>
+
+<p>"Bentley," cries Jack, "explain."</p>
+
+<p>"To be sure," says Bentley, in his heavy way, pointing to Mr. Tawnish,
+"this is my sister's only child, Viscount Hazelmere!"</p>
+
+<p>"What!" cries Jack, while I stood dumb with astonishment.</p>
+
+<p>"As you remember, Jack and Dick," says Bentley, getting ponderously to
+his feet, "it was ever our wish that these two should marry, but, being
+young and hot-headed, the very expression of that wish was but the
+signal for them to set themselves to thwart it, even before they
+had ever seen each other. Therefore acting upon that very contrariness, I
+wrote to my graceless nephew there, telling him that he need have no
+fear for his freedom&mdash;that we had changed our plans with regard to
+him&mdash;that our Pen was a thousand times too good and sweet for such as
+he&mdash;which she is, mark you!&mdash;that she was a beauty, and reigning toast
+of all the South Country&mdash;which she likewise is, mark you&mdash;and, in a
+word, forbidding him to think any more about her. Whereupon, my young
+gentleman comes hot-foot back to England, to learn the why and
+wherefore&mdash;did the mightily indignant, an' it please you&mdash;and ended by
+vowing he'd marry her despite all three of us. As for Pen&mdash;oh, egad! I
+spun her a fine tale, I promise you&mdash;spoke of him as a poor young
+gentleman, penniless but proud, a man 'twould be folly for any maid to
+wed&mdash;and oh, Jack and Dick, it worked like a charm&mdash;she saw him and
+promptly fell in love with him, and he with her. Yet at this juncture,
+Jack, you must needs go nigh ruining all by your quarrel with Raikes;
+however, knowing my young rascal there plumed himself monstrously upon
+his swordsmanship, I offered to put it to the test, and found him mighty
+eager. But oh, curse me! as I watched them preparing to murder you,
+Jack, a little while since, and this nephew of mine failed to come,
+methought I should go mad! And to think that they were marrying each
+other all the time! Rat me, Dick and Jack! to-day will be the merriest
+Christmas of all&mdash;how say you?"</p>
+
+<p>So, laughing and rejoicing together, they presently went out, and I
+heard their happy voices below, ringing clear and crisp in the frosty
+air of the yard. But I remained, staring into the fire, bethinking me of
+my treatment of Bentley. The mystery of his seeming indifference was
+cleared up now; where I had failed in my design of averting Jack's duel,
+he had succeeded, nay, had even brought together these two, as had been
+the wish of our hearts for years past. And now I had insulted him,
+wantonly, beyond forgiveness. Yet we had been friends so long&mdash;perhaps,
+if I told him humbly&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"Dick!" said a voice behind me, and a great hand was laid upon my
+shoulder, "Dick!"</p>
+
+<p>"Bentley," says I, hurriedly, "I was wrong&mdash;will you&mdash;can you forgive&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Man, Dick," says he, grasping my hand. "A Merry Christmas to thee!
+Come, the others are waiting you, and Pen's a-dying to kiss you, I
+swear."</p>
+
+<p>So he took me by the arm, and we went down-stairs together. And when I
+paused, and would have spoken further of my fool's mistake, he clapped
+me upon the shoulder again, and fell a-whistling of "Lillibuleero."</p>
+
+<p class="p2br"></p>
+
+<p class="center"><span class="smcap">The End</span></p>
+
+<p class="p3br"></p>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's The Honourable Mr. Tawnish, by Jeffery Farnol
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@@ -0,0 +1,3138 @@
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Honourable Mr. Tawnish, by Jeffery Farnol
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Honourable Mr. Tawnish
+
+Author: Jeffery Farnol
+
+Illustrator: Charles E. Brock
+
+Release Date: March 27, 2008 [EBook #24922]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE HONOURABLE MR. TAWNISH ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Bernd Meyer, Suzanne Shell and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: Very slowly Sir Harry obeyed, swearing frightfully.
+_Frontispiece._ _See page 104._]
+
+
+                            THE HONOURABLE
+                             MR. TAWNISH
+
+
+
+                                  BY
+
+                            JEFFERY FARNOL
+
+                   AUTHOR OF "THE BROAD HIGHWAY," AND
+                        "THE AMATEUR GENTLEMAN"
+
+
+
+
+                         WITH ILLUSTRATIONS BY
+                           CHARLES E. BROCK
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+                                 BOSTON
+                       LITTLE, BROWN, AND COMPANY
+                                  1913
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+                           _Copyright_, 1913,
+                     BY LITTLE, BROWN, AND COMPANY.
+                              ----------
+                         _All rights reserved_
+
+
+                        Published, October, 1913
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+                  THE UNIVERSITY PRESS, CAMBRIDGE, U.S.A.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+                               TO
+
+                            DOROTHY
+
+                 THE BEST AND GENTLEST OF SISTERS
+
+                THE TRUEST AND BRAVEST OF COMRADES
+
+                     I DEDICATE THIS BOOK
+
+                                     JEFFREY FARNOL
+
+
+               LONDON, August 28, 1913
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+                              CONTENTS
+
+
+
+CHAPTER                                                          PAGE
+
+I     Introducing Mr. Tawnish, and what
+      befell at "The Chequers"                                      1
+
+II    Of the further astonishing conduct of
+      the said Mr. Tawnish                                         39
+
+III   Of a Flight of Steps, a Stirrup, and a
+      Stone                                                        70
+
+IV    Of how We fell in with a Highwayman
+      at the Cross Roads                                           87
+
+V     Concerning the true Identity of our
+      Highwayman                                                  113
+
+VI    Of the Dawning of Christmas Day                             123
+
+VII   Which deals, among other Matters,
+      with the Ring of Steel                                      132
+
+VIII  Wherein the Truth of the old Adage
+      is made manifest--to wit: All's
+      well that ends well                                         152
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+                         LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS
+
+
+     Very slowly, Sir Harry obeyed, swearing
+     frightfully                                        _Frontispiece_
+
+     "I believe I have the felicity of addressing
+     Sir John Chester?"                                         PAGE 12
+
+     "Oh! Ha! Hum!" says Bentley, "Did
+     Jack tell you all that, Pen?"                                   80
+
+     "Father," says she, "this is my husband--and
+     I am proud to tell you so                                      159
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+                            THE HONOURABLE
+                             MR. TAWNISH
+
+
+
+
+                             CHAPTER ONE
+
+              _Introducing Mr. Tawnish, and what befell
+                          at "The Chequers"_
+
+
+Myself and Bentley, who, though a good fellow in many ways, is yet a
+fool in more (hence the prominence of the personal pronoun, for, as
+every one knows, a fool should give place to his betters)--myself and
+Bentley, then, were riding home from Hadlow, whither we had been to
+witness a dog-fight (and I may say a better fight I never saw, the dog I
+had backed disabling his opponent very effectively in something less
+than three-quarters of an hour--whereby Bentley owes me a hundred
+guineas)--we were riding home as I say, and were within a half-mile or
+so of Tonbridge, when young Harry Raikes came up behind us at his usual
+wild gallop, and passing with a curt nod, disappeared down the hill in a
+cloud of dust.
+
+"Were I but ten years younger," says I, looking after him, "Tonbridge
+Town would be too small to hold yonder fellow and myself--he is becoming
+a positive pest."
+
+"True," says Bentley, "he's forever embroiling some one or other."
+
+"Only last week," says I, "while you were away in London, he ran young
+Richards through the lungs over some triviality, and they say he lies
+a-dying."
+
+"Poor lad! poor lad!" says Bentley. "I mind, too, there was Tom
+Adams--shot dead in the Miller's Field not above a month ago; and before
+that, young Oatlands, and many others besides--"
+
+"Egad," says I, "but I've a great mind to call 'out' the bully myself."
+
+"Pooh!" says Bentley, "the fellow's a past master at either weapon."
+
+"If you will remember, there was a time when I was accounted no mean
+performer either, Bentley."
+
+"Pooh!" says Bentley, "leave it to a younger man--myself, for instance."
+
+"Why, there is but a month or two betwixt us," says I.
+
+"Six months and four days," says he in his dogged fashion; "besides," he
+went on, argumentatively, "should it come to small-swords, you are a
+good six inches shorter in the reach than Raikes; now as for me--"
+
+"You!" says I, "Should it come to pistols you could not help but stop a
+bullet with your vast bulk."
+
+Hereupon Bentley must needs set himself to prove that a big man offered
+no better target than a more diminutive one, all of which was of course
+but the purest folly, as I very plainly showed him, whereat he fell
+a-whistling of the song "Lillibuleero" (as is his custom ever, when at
+all hipped or put out in any way). And so we presently came to the
+cross-roads. Now it has been our custom for the past twelve years to
+finish the day with a game of picquet with our old friend Jack Chester,
+so that it had become quite an institution, so to speak. What was our
+surprise then to see Jack himself upon his black mare, waiting for us
+beneath the finger-post. That he was in one of his passions was evident
+from the acute angle of his hat and wig, and as we approached we could
+hear him swearing to himself.
+
+"Bet you fifty it's his daughter," says Bentley.
+
+"Done!" says I, promptly.
+
+"How now, Jack?" says Bentley, as we shook hands.
+
+"May the Devil anoint me!" growled Jack.
+
+"Belike he will," says Bentley.
+
+"Here's an infernal state of affairs!" says Jack, frowning up the road,
+his hat and wig very much over one eye.
+
+"Why, what's to do?" says I.
+
+"Do?" says he, rapping out three oaths in quick succession--"do?--the
+devil and all's to do!"
+
+"Make it a hundred?" says Bentley aside.
+
+"Done!" says I.
+
+"To think," groans Jack, blowing out his cheeks and striking himself a
+violent blow in the chest, "to think of a pale-faced, pranked-out,
+spindle-shanked, mealy-mouthed popinjay like him!"
+
+"Him?" says I, questioningly.
+
+"Aye--him!" snaps Jack, with another oath.
+
+"Make it a hundred and fifty, Bentley?" says I softly.
+
+"Agreed!" says Bentley.
+
+"To think," says Jack again, "of a prancing puppy-dog, a walking
+clothes-pole like him--and she loves him, sir!"
+
+"She?" repeated Bentley, and chuckled.
+
+"Aye, she, sir," roared Jack; "to think after the way we have brought
+her up, after all our care of her, that she should go and fall in love
+with a dancing, dandified nincompoop, all powder and patches. Why damme!
+the wench is run stark, staring mad. Egad! a nice situation for a loving
+and affectionate father to be placed in!"
+
+"Father?" says I.
+
+"Aye, father, sir," roars Jack again, "though I would to heaven Penelope
+had some one else to father her--the jade!"
+
+"What!" says I, unheeding Bentley's leering triumph (Bentley never wins
+but he must needs show it) "what, is Penelope--fallen in love with
+somebody?"
+
+"Why don't I tell you?" cries Jack, "don't I tell you that I found a set
+of verses--actually poetry, that the jackanapes had written her?"
+
+"Did you tax her with the discovery?" says I.
+
+"To be sure I did, and the minx owned her love for him--vowed she'd
+never wed another, and positively told me she liked the poetry stuff.
+After that, as you may suppose, I came away; had I stayed I won't answer
+for it but that I might have boxed the jade's ears. Oh, egad, a pretty
+business!"
+
+"And I thought we had settled she was to marry Bentley's nephew Horace
+some day," says I, as we turned into the High Street.
+
+"It seems she has determined otherwise--the vixen; and a likely lad,
+too, as I remember him," says Jack, shaking his head.
+
+"Where is he now, Bentley?" says I.
+
+"Humph!" says Bentley, thoughtfully. "His last letter was writ from
+Venice."
+
+"Aye, that's it," says Jack, "while he's gadding abroad, this mincing,
+languid ass, this--"
+
+"What did you say was the fellow's name?" says I.
+
+"Tawnish!" says Jack, making a wry face over it, "the Honourable Horatio
+Tawnish. Come, Dick and Bentley, what shall we do in the matter?"
+
+"Speaking for myself," I returned, "it's devilish hard to determine."
+
+"And speaking for us all," says Bentley, "suppose we thrash out the
+question over a bottle of wine?" and swinging into the yard of "The
+Chequers" hard by, he dismounted and led the way to the sanded parlour.
+
+We found it empty (as it usually is at this hour) save for a solitary
+individual who lounged upon one of the settles, staring into the fire.
+
+He was a gentleman of middling height and very slenderly built, with a
+pair of dreamy blue eyes set in the oval of a face whose pallor was
+rendered more effective by a patch at the corner of his mouth. His coat,
+of a fine blue satin laced with silver, sat upon him with scarce a
+wrinkle (the which especially recommended itself to me); white satin
+small-clothes and silk stockings of the same hue, with silver-buckled,
+red-heeled shoes, completed a costume of an elegance seldom seen out of
+London. I noticed also that his wig, carefully powdered and ironed, was
+of the very latest French mode (vastly different to the rough scratch
+wigs usually affected by the gentry hereabouts), while the
+three-cornered hat upon the table at his elbow was edged with the very
+finest point. Altogether, there was about him a certain delicate air
+that reminded me of my own vanished youth, and I sighed. As I took my
+seat, yet wondering who this fine gentleman might be, Jack seized me
+suddenly by the arm.
+
+"Look!" says he in my ear, "damme, there sits the fellow!"
+
+Turning my head, I saw that the gentleman had risen, and he now tripped
+towards us, his toes carefully pointed, while a small, gold-mounted
+walking cane dangled from his wrist by a riband.
+
+"I believe," says he, speaking in a soft, affected voice, "I believe I
+have the felicity of addressing Sir John Chester?"
+
+"The same, sir," said Jack, rising, "and, sir, I wish a word with you."
+Here, however, remembering myself and Bentley, he introduced us--though
+in a very perfunctory fashion, to be sure.
+
+"Sir John," says Mr. Tawnish, "your very obedient humble;
+gentlemen--yours," and he bowed deeply to each of us in turn, with a
+prodigious flourish of the laced hat.
+
+[Illustration: "I believe I have the felicity of addressing Sir John
+Chester?" _Page 12._]
+
+"I repeat, sir," says Jack, returning his bow, very stiff in the back,
+"I repeat, I would have a word with you."
+
+"On my soul, I protest you do me too much honour!" he murmured--"shall
+we sit?" Jack nodded, and Mr. Tawnish sank into a chair between myself
+and Bentley.
+
+"Delightful weather we are having," says he, breaking in upon a somewhat
+awkward pause, "though they do tell me the country needs rain most
+damnably!"
+
+"Mr. Tawnish," says Jack, giving himself a sudden thump in the chest, "I
+have no mind to talk to you of the weather."
+
+"No?" says Mr. Tawnish, with a tinge of surprise in his gentle voice,
+"why then, I'm not particular myself, Sir John--there are a host of
+other matters--horses and dogs, for instance."
+
+"The devil take your horses and dogs, sir!" cries Jack.
+
+"Willingly," says Mr. Tawnish, "to speak the truth I grow something
+tired of them myself; there seems very little else talked of
+hereabouts."
+
+"Mr. Tawnish," says Jack, beginning to lose his temper despite my
+admonitory frown, "the matter on which I would speak to you is my
+daughter, sir, the Lady Penelope."
+
+"What--here, Sir John?" cries Mr. Tawnish, in a horrified tone, "in the
+tap of an inn, with a--pink my immortal soul!--a sanded floor, and the
+very air nauseous with the reek of filthy tobacco? No, no, Sir John,
+indeed, keep to horses and dogs, I beg of you; 'tis a subject more in
+harmony with such surroundings."
+
+"Now look you, sir," says Jack, blowing out his cheeks, "'tis a good
+enough place for what I have to say to you, sanded floor or no, and I
+promise it shall not detain you long."
+
+Hereupon Jack rose with a snort of anger, and began pacing to and fro,
+striking himself most severely several times, while Mr. Tawnish, drawing
+out a very delicate, enamelled snuff-box, helped himself to a leisurely
+pinch, and regarded him with a mild astonishment.
+
+"Sir," says Jack, turning suddenly with a click of spurred heels, "you
+are in the habit of writing poetry?"
+
+The patch at the corner of the Honourable Horatio's mouth quivered for
+a moment. "Really, my dear Sir John--" he began.
+
+"You sent a set of verses to my daughter, sir," Jack broke in, "well,
+damme, sir, I don't like poetry!"
+
+"I do not doubt it for a moment, sir," says Mr. Tawnish, "but these were
+written, if you remember, to--the lady."
+
+"Exactly," cries Jack, "and you will understand, sir, that I forbid
+poetry, once and for all--curse me, sir, I'll not permit it!"
+
+"This new French sauce that London is gone mad over is a thought too
+strong of garlic, to my thinking," says Mr. Tawnish, flicking a stray
+grain of snuff from his cravat. "You will, I think, agree with me, Sir
+John, that to a delicate palate--"
+
+"The devil anoint your French sauce, sir," cries Jack, in a fury, "who's
+talking of French sauces?"
+
+"My very dear Sir John," says Mr. Tawnish, with an engaging smile, "when
+one topic becomes at all--strained, shall we say?--I esteem it the wiser
+course to change the subject, having frequently proved it to have
+certain soothing and calming effects--hence my sauce."
+
+Here Bentley sneezed and coughed both together and came nigh choking
+outright (a highly dangerous thing in one of his weight), which
+necessitated my loosening his steenkirk and thumping him betwixt the
+shoulder-blades, while Jack strode up and down, swearing under his
+breath, and Mr. Tawnish took another pinch of snuff.
+
+"French sauce, by heaven!" cries Jack suddenly, "did any man ever hear
+the like of it?--French sauce!" and herewith he snatched off his wig and
+trampled upon it, and Bentley choked himself purple again. I will admit
+that Jack's round bullet head, with its close-cropped, grizzled hair
+standing on end, would have been a whimsical, not to say laughable sight
+in any other (Bentley for instance)--but Jack in a rage is no laughable
+matter.
+
+"By the Lord, sir," cries he, turning upon Mr. Tawnish, who sat
+cross-legged, regarding everything with the same mild wonderment--"by
+the Lord! I'd call you out for that French sauce if I thought you were a
+fighting man."
+
+"Heaven forfend!" exclaimed Mr. Tawnish, with a gesture of horror,
+"violence of all kinds is abhorrent to my nature, and I have always
+regarded the duello as a particularly clumsy and illogical method of
+settling a dispute."
+
+Hereupon Jack looked about him in a helpless sort of fashion, as indeed
+well he might, and catching sight of his wig lying in the middle of the
+floor, promptly kicked it into a corner, which seemed to relieve him
+somewhat, for he went to it and, picking it up again, knocked out the
+dust upon his knee, and setting it on very much over one eye, sat
+himself down again, flushed and panting, but calm.
+
+"Mr. Tawnish," says he, "as regards my daughter, I must ask--nay
+demand--that you cease your persecution of her once and for all."
+
+"Sir John," says Mr. Tawnish, bowing across the table, "allow me to
+suggest in the most humble and submissive manner, that the word
+'persecution' is perhaps a trifle--I say just a trifle--unwarranted."
+
+"Be that as it may, sir, I repeat it, nevertheless," says Jack, "and
+furthermore I must insist that you communicate no more with the Lady
+Penelope either by poetry or--or any other means."
+
+"Alas!" sighs Mr. Tawnish, "cheat myself as I may, the possibility will
+obtrude itself that you do not look upon my suit with quite the degree
+of warmth I had hoped. Sir, I am not perfect, few of us are, but even
+you will grant that I am not altogether a savage?" As he ended, he
+helped himself to another pinch of snuff with a pretty, delicate air
+such as a lady would use in taking a comfit; indeed his hand, small and
+elegantly shaped, whose whiteness was accentuated by the emerald and
+ruby ring upon his finger, needed no very strong effort of fancy to be
+taken for a woman's outright. I saw Jack's lip curl and his nostrils
+dilate at its very prettiness.
+
+"There be worse things than savages, sir," says he, pointedly.
+
+"Indeed, Sir John, you are very right--do but hearken to the brutes,"
+says Mr. Tawnish, with lifted finger, as from the floor above came a
+roar of voices singing a merry drinking-catch, with the ring of glasses
+and the stamping of spurred heels. "Hark to 'em," he repeated, with a
+gesture of infinite disgust; "these are creatures the which, having all
+the outward form and semblance of man, yet, being utterly devoid of all
+man's finer qualities, live but to quarrel and fight--to eat and drink
+and beget their kind--in which they be vastly prolific, for the world is
+full of such. To-night it would seem they are in a high good humour,
+wherefore they are a trifle more boisterous than usual, indulging
+themselves in these howlings and shoutings, and shall presently drink
+themselves out of what little wit Dame Nature hath bestowed upon 'em,
+and be carted home to bed by their lackeys--pah!"
+
+"How--what?" gasps Jack, while I sat staring (very nearly open-mouthed)
+at the cool audacity of the fellow.
+
+"Are you aware, sir," cries Jack, when at last he had regained his
+breath, "that the persons you have been decrying are friends of mine,
+gallant gentlemen all--aye, sir, damme, and men to boot!--hard-fighting,
+hard-riding, hard-drinking, six-bottle gentlemen, sir?"
+
+"I fear me my ignorance of country ways hath led me into a grave error,"
+says Mr. Tawnish, with a scarce perceptible shrug of the shoulders;
+"upon second thoughts I grant there is about a man who can put down one
+throat what should suffice for six, something great."
+
+"Or roomy!" adds Bentley, in a strangling voice.
+
+"We are at side issues," says Jack, very red in the face, "the point
+being, that I forbid you my daughter once and for all."
+
+"Might I enquire your very excellent reasons?"
+
+"Plainly, then," returns Jack, hitting himself in the chest again, "the
+Lady Penelope Chester must and shall marry a man, sir."
+
+"Yes," nodded Mr. Tawnish, "a man is generally essential in such cases,
+I believe."
+
+"I say a man, sir," roared Jack, "and, damme, I mean a man, and not a
+clothes-horse or a dancing master, or--or a French sauce, sir. One who
+will not faint if a dog bark too loudly, nor shiver at sight of a
+pistol, nor pick his way ever by smooth roads. He must be a man, I say,
+able to use a small-sword creditably, who knows one end of a horse from
+another, who can win well but lose better, who can follow the hounds
+over the roughest country and not fall sick for a trifle of mud, nor
+fret a week over a splashed coat--in a word, he must be a man, sir."
+
+"Alas, what a divine creature is man, after all!" sighs Mr. Tawnish,
+with a shake of the head, "small matter of wonder if I cannot attain
+unto so high an estate; for I beg you to observe that though I am
+tolerably efficient in the use of my weapon" (here he laid his hand
+lightly upon the silver hilt of his small-sword), "though I can tell a
+spavined horse from a sound one, and can lose a trifle without positive
+tears, yet--and I say it with a sense of my extreme unworthiness--I have
+an excessive and abiding horror of mud, or dirt in any shape or form.
+But is there no other way, Sir John? In remote times it was the custom
+in such cases to set the lover some arduous task--some enterprise to try
+his worth. Come now, in justice do the same by me, I beg, and no matter
+how difficult the undertaking, I promise you shall at least find me
+zealous."
+
+"Come, Jack," cries Bentley, suddenly, "smite me, but that's very fair
+and sportsmanlike! How think you, Dick?"
+
+"Why, for once I agree with you, Bentley," says I, "'tis an offer not
+devoid of spirit, and should be accepted as such."
+
+Jack sat down, took two gulps of wine, and rose again.
+
+"Mr. Tawnish," says he, "since these gentlemen are in unison upon the
+matter, and further, knowing they have the good of the Lady Penelope at
+heart as much as I, I will accept your proposition, and we will, each of
+us, set you a task. But, sir, I warn you, do not delude yourself with
+false hopes; you shall not find them over-easy, I'll warrant."
+
+Mr. Tawnish bowed, with the very slightest shrug of his shoulders.
+
+"Firstly, then," Jack began, "you must--er--must--" Here he paused to
+rub his chin and stare at his boots. "Firstly," he began again, "if you
+shall succeed in doing--" Here his eyes wandered slowly up to the
+rafters, and down again to me. "Curse it, Dick!" he broke off, "what the
+devil must he do?"
+
+"Firstly," I put in, "you must accomplish some feat the which each one
+of us three shall avow to be beyond him."
+
+"Good!" cries Jack, rubbing his hands, "excellent--so much for the
+first. Secondly--I say secondly--er--ha, yes--you must make a public
+laughing stock of that quarrelsome puppy, Sir Harry Raikes. Raikes is a
+dangerous fellow and generally pinks his man, sir."
+
+"So they tell me," nodded Mr. Tawnish, jotting down a few lines in his
+memorandum.
+
+"Thirdly," ended Bentley, "you must succeed in placing all three of
+us--namely, Sir Richard Eden, Sir John Chester, and myself--together and
+at the same time, at a disadvantage."
+
+"Now, sir," says Jack, complacently, "prove your manhood equal to these
+three tasks, and you shall be free to woo and wed the Lady Penelope
+whenever you will. How say you, Dick and Bentley?"
+
+"Agreed," we replied.
+
+"Indeed, gentlemen," says Mr. Tawnish, glancing at his memoranda with a
+slight frown, "I think the labours of Hercules were scarce to be
+compared to these, yet I do not altogether despair, and to prove to you
+my readiness in the matter, I will, with your permission, go and set
+about the doing of them." With these words he rose, took up his hat, and
+with a most profound obeisance turned to the door.
+
+At this moment, however, there came a trampling of feet upon the stairs,
+another door was thrown open, and in walked Sir Harry Raikes himself,
+followed by D'Arcy and Hammersley, with three or four others whose faces
+were familiar. They were all in boisterous spirits, Sir Harry's florid
+face being flushed more than ordinary with drinking, and there was an
+ugly light in his prominent blue eyes.
+
+Now, it so happened that to reach the street, Mr. Tawnish must pass
+close beside him, and noting this, Sir Harry very evidently placed
+himself full in the way, so that Mr. Tawnish was obliged to step aside
+to avoid a collision; yet even then, Raikes thrust out an elbow in such
+a fashion as to jostle him very unceremoniously. Never have I seen an
+insult more wanton and altogether unprovoked, and we all of us, I
+think, ceased to breathe, waiting for the inevitable to follow.
+
+Mr. Tawnish stopped and turned. I saw his delicate brows twitch suddenly
+together, and for a moment his chin seemed more than usually
+prominent--then all at once he smiled--positively smiled, and shrugged
+his shoulders with his languid air.
+
+"Sir," says he, with a flash of his white teeth, "it seems they make
+these rooms uncommon small and narrow, for the likes of you and me--your
+pardon." And so, with a tap, tap, of his high, red-heeled shoes, he
+crossed to the door, descended the steps, turned up the street, and was
+gone.
+
+"He--he begged the fellow's pardon!" spluttered Jack, purple in the
+face.
+
+"A more disgraceful exhibition was never seen," says I, "the fellow's a
+rank coward!" As for Bentley, he only fumbled with his wine-glass and
+grunted.
+
+The departure of Mr. Tawnish had been the signal for a great burst of
+laughter from the others, in the middle of which Sir Harry strolled up
+to our table, nodding in the insolent manner peculiar to him.
+
+"They tell me," said he, leering round upon us, "they tell me your
+pretty Penelope takes something more than a common interest in yonder
+fop; have a care, Sir John, she's a plaguey skittish filly by the looks
+of her, have a care, or like as not--"
+
+But here his voice was drowned by the noise of our three chairs, as we
+rose.
+
+"Sir Harry Raikes," says I, being the first afoot, "be you drunk or no,
+I must ask you to be a little less personal in your remarks--d'ye take
+me?"
+
+"What?" cries Raikes, stepping up to me, "do you take it upon yourself
+to teach me a lesson in manners?"
+
+"Aye," says Bentley, edging his vast bulk between us, "a hard task, Sir
+Harry, but you be in sad need of one."
+
+"By God!" cries Raikes, clapping his hand to his small-sword, "is it a
+quarrel you are after? I say again that the wench--"
+
+The table went over with a crash, and Raikes leaped aside only just in
+time, so that Jack's fist shot harmlessly past his temple. Yet so fierce
+had been the blow, that Jack, carried by its very impetus, tripped,
+staggered, and fell heavily to the floor. In an instant myself and
+Bentley were bending over him, and presently got him to his feet, but
+every effort to stand served only to make him wince with pain; yet
+balancing himself upon one leg, supported by our shoulders, he turned
+upon Raikes with a snarl.
+
+"Ha!" says he, "I've long known you for a drunken rascal--fitter for the
+stocks than the society of honest gentlemen, now I know you for a liar
+besides; could I but stand, you should answer to me this very moment."
+
+"Sir John, if you would indulge me with the pleasure," says I, putting
+back the skirt of my coat from my sword-hilt, "you should find me no
+unworthy substitute, I promise."
+
+"No, no," says Bentley, "being the younger man, I claim this privilege
+myself."
+
+"I thank you both," says Jack, stifling a groan, "but in this affair
+none other can take my place."
+
+Raikes laughed noisily, and crossing the room, fell to picking his teeth
+and talking with his friend, Captain Hammersley, while the others stood
+apart, plainly much perturbed, to judge from their gestures and solemn
+faces. Presently Hammersley rose, and came over to where Jack sat
+betwixt us, swearing and groaning under his breath.
+
+"My dear Sir John," says the Captain, bowing, "in this
+much-to-be-regretted, devilish unpleasant situation, you spoke certain
+words in the heat of the moment which were a trifle--hasty, shall we
+say? Sir Harry is naturally a little incensed, still, if upon calmer
+consideration you can see your way to retract, I hope--"
+
+"Retract!" roars Jack, "retract--not a word, not a syllable; I repeat,
+Sir Harry Raikes is a scoundrel and a liar--"
+
+"Very good, my dear Sir John," says the Captain, with another bow; "it
+will be small-swords, I presume?"
+
+"They will serve," says Jack.
+
+"And the time and place?"
+
+"Just so soon as I can use this leg of mine," says Jack, "and I know of
+no better place than this room. Any further communication you may have
+to make, you will address to my friend here, Sir Richard Eden, who will,
+I think, act for me?"
+
+"Act for you?" I repeated, in great distress, "yes, yes--assuredly."
+
+"Then we will leave it thus for the present, Sir John," says the
+Captain, bowing and turning away, "and I trust your foot will speedily
+be well again."
+
+"Which is as much as wishing me speedily dead!" says Jack, with a rueful
+shake of the head. "Raikes is a devil of a fellow and generally pinks
+his man--eh, Dick and Bentley?"
+
+"Oh, my poor Jack!" sighed Bentley, turning his broad back upon Sir
+Harry, who, having bowed to us very formally, swaggered off with the
+others at his heels.
+
+"Man, Jack," says I, "you'll never fight--you cannot--you shall not!"
+
+"Aye, but I shall!" says Jack, grimly.
+
+"'Twill be plain murder!" says Bentley.
+
+"And--think of Pen!" says I.
+
+"Aye, Pen!" sighed Jack. "My pretty Pen! She'll be lonely awhile,
+methinks, but--thank God, she'll have you and Bentley still!"
+
+And so, having presently summoned a coach (for Jack's foot was become
+too swollen for the stirrup), we all three of us got in and were driven
+to the Manor. And I must say, a gloomier trio never passed out of
+Tonbridge Town, for it was well known to us that there was no man in all
+the South Country who could stand up to Sir Harry Raikes; and moreover,
+that unless some miracle chanced to stop the meeting, our old friend was
+as surely a dead man as if he already lay in his coffin.
+
+
+
+                           CHAPTER TWO
+
+              _Of the further astonishing conduct of the
+                         said Mr. Tawnish_
+
+
+Myself and Bentley were engaged upon our usual morning game of chess,
+when there came a knocking at the door, and my man, Peter, entered.
+
+"Checkmate!" says I.
+
+"No!" says Bentley, castelling.
+
+"Begging your pardon, Sir Richard," says Peter, "but here's a man with a
+message."
+
+"Oh, devil take your man with a message, Peter!--the game is mine in six
+moves," says I, bringing up my queen's knight.
+
+"No," says Bentley, "steady up the bishop."
+
+"From Sir John Chester," says Peter, holding the note under my nose.
+
+"Oh! Sir John Chester--check!"
+
+"What in the world can Jack want?" says Bentley, reaching for his wig.
+
+"Check!" says I.
+
+"Why, what can have put him out again?" says Bentley, pointing to the
+letter--"look at the blots."
+
+Jack is a bad enough hand with the pen at all times, but when in a
+passion, his writing is always more or less illegible by reason of the
+numerous blots and smudges; on the present occasion it was very evident
+that he was more put out than usual.
+
+"Some new villainy of the fellow Raikes, you may depend," says I,
+breaking the seal.
+
+"No," says Bentley, "I'll lay you twenty, it refers to young Tawnish."
+
+"Done!" I nodded, and spreading out the paper I read (with no little
+difficulty) as follows:
+
+  DEAR DICK AND BENTLEY,
+
+  Come round and see me at once, for the devil anoint me if I ever
+  heard tell the like on't, and more especially after the exhibition
+  of a week ago. To my mind, 'tis but a cloak to mask his cowardice,
+  as you will both doubtless agree when you shall have read this note.
+
+                             Yours,
+
+                                                                 JACK.
+
+"Well, but where's his meaning? 'Tis ever Jack's way to forget the very
+kernel of news," grumbled Bentley.
+
+"Pooh! 'tis plain enough," says I, "he means Raikes; any but a fool
+would know that."
+
+"Lay you fifty it's Tawnish," says Bentley, in his stubborn way.
+
+"Done!" says I.
+
+"Stay a moment, Dick," says Bentley, as I rose, "what of our Pen,--she
+hasn't asked you yet how Jack hurt his foot, has she?"
+
+"Not a word."
+
+"Ha!" says Bentley, with a ponderous nod, "which goes to prove she doth
+but think the more, and we must keep the truth from her at all hazards,
+Dick--she'll know soon enough, poor, dear lass. Now, should she ask
+us--as ask us she will, 'twere best to have something to tell her--let's
+say, he slipped somewhere!"
+
+"Aye," I nodded, "we'll tell her he twisted his ankle coming down the
+step at 'The Chequers'--would to God he had!" So saying, we clapped on
+our hats and sallied out together arm in arm. Jack and I are near
+neighbours, so that a walk of some fifteen minutes brought us to the
+Manor, and proceeding at once to the library, we found him with his leg
+upon a cushion and a bottle of Oporto at his elbow--a-cursing most
+lustily.
+
+"Well, Jack," says Bentley, as he paused for breath, "and how is the
+leg?"
+
+"Leg!" roars Jack, "leg, sir--look at it--useless as a log--as a cursed
+log of wood, sir--snapped a tendon--so Purdy says, but Purdy's a damned
+pessimistic fellow--the devil anoint all doctors, say I!"
+
+"And pray, what might be the meaning of this note of yours?" and I held
+it out towards him.
+
+"Meaning," cries Jack, "can't you read--don't I tell you? The
+insufferable insolence of the fellow."
+
+"Faith!" says I, "if it's Raikes you mean, anything is believable of
+him--"
+
+"Raikes!" roars Jack, louder than ever, "fiddle-de-dee, sir! who
+mentioned that rascal--you got my note?"
+
+"In which you carefully made mention of no one."
+
+"Well, I meant to, and that's all the difference."
+
+"To be sure," added Bentley,--"it's young Tawnish; anybody but a fool
+would know that."
+
+"To be sure," nodded Jack. "Dick," says he, turning upon me suddenly,
+"Dick, could you have passed over such an insult as we saw Raikes put
+upon him the other day?"
+
+"No!" I answered, very short, "and you know it."
+
+Jack turned to Bentley with a groan.
+
+"And you, Bentley, come now," says he, "you could, eh!--come now?"
+
+"Not unless I was asleep or stone blind, or deaf," says Bentley.
+
+"Damme! and why not?" cries Jack, and then groaned again. "I was afraid
+so," says he, "I was afraid so."
+
+"Jack, what the devil do you mean?" I exclaimed.
+
+For answer he tossed a crumpled piece of paper across to me. "Read
+that," says he, "I got it not an hour since--read it aloud." Hereupon,
+smoothing out the creases, I read the following:
+
+                                           TONBRIDGE, OCTR. 30th, 1740.
+
+  MY DEAR SIR JOHN,
+
+  Fortune, that charming though much vilified dame, hath for once
+  proved kind, for the first, and believe me by far the most
+  formidable of my three tasks, namely, to perform that which each one
+  of you shall avow to be beyond him, is already accomplished, and I
+  make bold to say, successfully.
+
+  To be particular, you could not but notice the very objectionable
+  conduct, I might say, the wanton insolence of Sir Harry Raikes upon
+  the occasion of our last interview. Now, Sir John, you, together
+  with Sir Richard Eden and Mr. Bentley, will bear witness to the fact
+  that I not only passed over the affront, but even went so far as to
+  apologise to him myself, wherein I think I can lay claim to having
+  achieved that which each one of you will admit to have been beyond
+  his powers.
+
+  Having thus fulfilled the first undertaking assigned me, there
+  remain but two, namely, to make a laughing stock of Sir Harry Raikes
+  (which I purpose to do at the very first opportunity) and to place
+  you three gentlemen at a disadvantage.
+
+  So, my dear Sir John, in hopes of soon gaining your esteem and
+  blessing (above all), I rest your most devoted, humble, obedient,
+
+                            HORATIO TAWNISH.
+
+"This passes all bounds," says I, tossing the letter upon the table, "such
+audacity--such presumption is beyond all belief; the question is, whether
+the fellow is right in his head."
+
+"No, Dick," says Bentley, helping himself to the Oporto, "the question
+is rather--whether he is wrong in his assertion."
+
+"Why, as to that--" I began, and paused, for look at it as I might
+'twas plain enough that Mr. Tawnish had certainly scored his first
+point.
+
+"We all agree," continued Bentley, "that we none of us could do the
+like; it therefore follows that this Tawnish fellow wins the first
+hand."
+
+"Sheer trickery!" cries Jack, hurling his wig into the corner--"sheer
+trickery--damme!"
+
+"Fore gad! Jack," says I, "this fellow's no fool, if he 'quits himself
+of his other two tasks as featly as this, sink me! but I must needs
+begin to love him, for look you, fair is fair all the world over and I
+agree with Bentley, for once, that Mr. Tawnish wins the first hand."
+
+"Ha!" cries Jack, "and because the rogue has tricked us once, would you
+have us sit by and let Pen throw herself away upon a worthless,
+fortune-hunting fop--"
+
+"Why, as to that, Jack," says Bentley, "a bargain's a bargain--"
+
+"Pish!" roared Jack, fumbling in his pocket, "why only this very morning
+I came upon more of his poetry-stuff! Here," he continued, tossing a
+folded paper on the table in front of Bentley, "it seems the young
+rascal's been meeting her--over the orchard wall. Read it, Bentley--read
+it, and see for yourself." Obediently Bentley took up the paper and read
+as here followeth:
+
+"'Dear Heart--'"
+
+"Bah!" snorted Jack.
+
+"'Dear Heart!'" read Bentley again and with a certain unction:
+
+  "'DEAR HEART,
+
+  I send you these few lines, poor though they be, for since they were
+  inspired by my great love for thee, that of itself, methinks, should
+  make them more worthy,
+
+                               Thine, as ever,
+
+                                                               HORATIO.'"
+
+"You mark that?" cries Jack, excitedly, "'hers as ever,' and 'Horatio!'
+Horatio--faugh! I could ha' taken it kinder had he called himself Tom, or
+Will, or George, but 'Horatio'--oh, damme! And now comes the poetry-stuff."
+
+Hereupon Bentley hummed and ha'd, and clearing his throat, read this:
+
+  "'When drowsy night with sombre wings
+    O'er this world his shadow flings
+    And thou, dear love, doth sleep,
+    Then do I send my soul to thee
+    Thy guardian till the dawn to be
+    And thy sweet slumbers keep.'"
+
+"'Slumbers keep,'" snorted Jack, "the insolence of the fellow! Now look
+on t'other side."
+
+"'I shall be in the orchard to-morrow at the usual hour, in the hope of
+a word or a look from you.'"
+
+Bentley read, and laid down the paper.
+
+"At the usual hour--d'ye mark that!" cries Jack, thumping himself in the
+chest--"'tis become a habit with 'em, it seems--and there's for ye, and
+a nice kettle o' fish it is!"
+
+"Ah, Bentley," says I, "if only your nephew, the young Viscount, were
+here--"
+
+"To the deuce with Bentley's nephew!" roars Jack. "I say he shouldn't
+marry her now, no--not if he were ten thousand times Bentley's nephew,
+sir--deuce take him!"
+
+"So then," says I, "all our plans are gone astray, and she will have her
+way and wed this adventurer Tawnish, I suppose?"
+
+"No, no, Dick!" cries Jack; "curse me, am I not her father?"
+
+"And is she not--herself?" says I.
+
+"True!" Jack nodded, "and as stubborn as--as--"
+
+"Her father!" added Bentley. "Why, Jack--Dick--I tell you she's ruled us
+all with a rod of iron ever since she used to climb up our knees to pull
+at our wigs with her little, mischievous fingers!"
+
+"Such very small, pink fingers!" says I, sighing. "Indeed we've spoiled
+her wofully betwixt us."
+
+"Ha!" snorted Jack, "and who's responsible for all this, I say; who's
+petted and pampered, and coddled and condoned her every fault? Why--you,
+Dick and Bentley. When I had occasion to scold or correct her, who was
+it used to sneak behind my back with their pockets bulging with cakes
+and sticky messes? Why, you, Dick and Bentley!"
+
+"You scold her, Jack?" says Bentley, "yes, egad! in a voice as mild as a
+sucking dove! And when she wept, you'd frown tremendously to hide thine
+own tears, man, and end by smothering her with your kisses. And thus it
+has ever been--for her dead mother's sake!"
+
+"But now," says I after a while, "the time is come to be resolute, for
+her sake--and her mother's."
+
+"Aye," cries Jack, "we must be firm with her, we must be resolute!
+Penelope's my daughter and shall obey us for once, if we have to lock
+her up for a week. I'll teach her that our will is law, for once!"
+
+"You're in the right on 't, Jack," says I, "we must show her that she
+can't ride rough-shod over us any longer. We must be stern to be kind."
+
+"We must be adamant!" says Bentley, his eyes twinkling.
+
+"We must be harsh," says I, "if need be and--"
+
+But here, perceiving Bentley's face to be screwed up warningly,
+observing his ponderous wink and eloquent thumb, I glanced up and beheld
+Penelope herself regarding us from the doorway. And indeed, despite the
+pucker at her pretty brow, she looked as sweet and fresh and fair as an
+English summer morning. But Jack, all innocent of her presence, had
+caught the word from me.
+
+"Harsh!" cries he, thumping the table at his elbow, "I'll warrant me
+I'll be harsh enough--if 'twas only on account of the fellow's
+poetry-stuff--the jade! We'll lock her up--aye, if need be, we'll starve
+her on bread and water, we'll--"
+
+But he got no further, for Penelope had stolen up behind him and,
+throwing her arms round his neck, kissed him into staring silence.
+
+"Uncle Bentley!" says she, giving him one white hand to kiss, "and you,
+dear uncle Dick!" and she gave me the other.
+
+"What, my pretty lass!" cries Bentley, rising, and would have kissed
+the red curve of her smiling lips, but she stayed him with an
+authoritative finger.
+
+"Nay, sir," says she, mighty demure, "you know my new rule,--from Monday
+to Wednesday my hand; from Wednesday to Saturday, my cheek; and on
+Sunday, my lips--and to-day is Tuesday, sir!"
+
+"Drat my memory, so it is!" says Bentley, and kissed her slender fingers
+obediently, as I did likewise. Hereupon she turns, very high and
+haughty, to eye Jack slowly from head to foot, and to shake her head at
+him in dignified rebuke.
+
+"As for you, sir," says she, "you stole away my letter,--was that
+gentle, was it loving, was it kind? Uncle Bentley--say 'No'!"
+
+"Why--er--no," stammered Bentley, "but you see, Pen--"
+
+"Then, Sir John," she continued, with her calm, reproving gaze still
+fixed upon her father's face the while he fidgetted in his chair, "then
+yesterday, Sir John, when I found you'd taken it, and came to demand it
+back again, you heard me coming and slipped out--through the window, and
+hid yourself--in the stables, and rode away without even stopping to put
+on your riding-boots, and--in that terrible old hat! Was that behaving
+like a dignified, middle-aged gentleman and Justice of the Peace, sir?
+Uncle Richard, say 'Certainly not!'"
+
+"Well, I--I suppose 'twas not," says I, "but under the circumstances--"
+
+"And now I find you all with your heads very close together, hatching
+diabolical plots and conspiracies against poor little me--heigho!"
+
+"Nay, Penelope," says Jack, beginning to bluster, "we--I say we are
+determined--"
+
+"Oh, Sir John," she sighed, "oh, Sir John Chester, 'tis a shameful thing
+and most ungallant in a father to run off with his daughter's
+love-letter. Prithee, where is her love-letter? Give her her
+love-letter--this moment!"
+
+Hereupon Jack must needs produce the letter from his pocket (where he
+had hidden it) and she (naughty baggage) very ostentatiously set it
+'neath the tucker at her bosom. Which done, she nods at each one of us
+in turn, frowning a little the while.
+
+"I vow," says she, tapping the floor with the toe of her satin shoe, "I
+could find it in my heart to be very angry with you--all of you, if I
+didn't--love you quite so well. So, needs must I forgive you. Sir John
+dear, stoop down and let me straighten your wig--there! Now you may kiss
+me, sir--an' you wish."
+
+Hereupon Jack kissed her, of course, and thereafter catching sight of
+us, frowned terrifically.
+
+"Now, look'ee here, Pen--Penelope," says he, "I say, look'ee here!"
+
+"Yes, Sir John dear."
+
+"I--that is to say--we," began Jack, "for Dick and Bentley are one with
+me, I say that--that--er, I say that--what the devil do I mean to say,
+Dick?"
+
+"Why, Pen," I explained, "'tis this stranger--this--er--"
+
+"Tawnish!" says Bentley.
+
+"Aye, Tawnish!" nodded Jack. "Now heark'ee, Pen, I repeat--I say, I
+repeat--"
+
+"Very frequently, dear," she sighed. "Well?"
+
+"I say," continued Jack, "that I--we--utterly forbid you to see or hear
+from the fellow again."
+
+"And pray, sir, what have you against him?" says she softly,--only her
+slender foot tapped a little faster.
+
+"Everything!" says Jack.
+
+"Which is as much as to say--nothing!" she retorted.
+
+"I say," cried Jack, "the man you come to marry shall be a _man_ and not
+a mincing exquisite with no ideas beyond the cut of his coat."
+
+"And," says I, "a man of position, and no led-captain with an eye to
+your money, or needy adventurer hunting a dowry, Pen."
+
+"Oh!" she sighed, "how cruelly you misjudge him! And you, Uncle Bentley,
+what have you to say?"
+
+"That whoso he be, we would have him in all things worthy of thee, Pen."
+
+"Aye!" nodded Jack, "so my lass, forego this whim--no more o' this
+Tawnish fellow--forget him."
+
+"Forget!" says she, "how lightly you say it! Oh, prithee don't you see
+that I am a child no longer--don't you understand?"
+
+"Pooh!" cries Jack. "Fiddle-de-dee! What-a-plague! This fellow is no
+fit mate for our Pen, a stranger whom nobody knows! a languid fop! a
+pranked-out, patched and powdered puppy-dog! So Penelope, let there be
+an end on't!"
+
+Pen's little foot had ceased its tattoo, but her eyes were bright and
+her cheeks glowed when she spoke again.
+
+"Oh!" says she, scornfully. "Oh, most noble, most fair-minded
+gentlemen--all three of you, to condemn thus, out of hand, one of whom
+you know nothing, and without allowing him one word in his own behalf!
+Aye, hang your heads! Oh, 'tis most unworthy of you--you whom I have
+ever held to be in all things most just and honourable!"
+
+And here she turned her back fairly upon us and crossed to the window,
+while we looked at one another but with never a word betwixt us;
+wherefore she presently went on again.
+
+"And yet," says she, and now her voice was grown wonderfully tender,
+"you all loved the mother I never knew--loved her passing well, and, for
+her sake, have borne with my foolish whims all these years, and given me
+a place deep within your hearts. And because of this," says she, turning
+and coming back to us, "yes, because of this I love thee, Uncle Dick!"
+Here she stooped and kissed me (God bless her). "And you too, Uncle
+Bentley!" Here she kissed Bentley. "And you, dear, tender father!" Here
+she kissed Jack. "Indeed," she sighed, "methinks I love you all far more
+than either of you, being only men, can ever understand. But because I
+am a woman, needs must I do as my heart bids me in this matter, or
+despise myself utterly. As for the worth of this gentleman, oh! think
+you I am so little credit to your upbringing as not to know the real
+from the base? Ah! trust me! And indeed I know this for a very noble
+gentleman, and what's more, I will never--never--wed any other than this
+gentleman!" So saying, she sobbed once, and turning about, sped from the
+room, banging the door behind her.
+
+Hereupon Jack sighed and ruffled up his wig, while Bentley, lying back
+in his chair, nodded up at the ceiling, and as for myself I stared down
+at the floor, lost in sombre thought.
+
+"Well," exclaimed Jack at last, "what the devil are you shaking your
+heads over? Had you aided me just now instead of sitting there mumchance
+like two graven images--say like two accursed graven images--"
+
+"Why," retorted Bentley, "didn't I say--"
+
+"Say," cries Jack, "no sooner did you clap eyes on her than it's 'My
+sweet lass!' 'My pretty maid!' and such toys! And after all your talk of
+being 'harsh to be kind!' Oh, a cursed nice mess you've made on't
+betwixt you. Lord knows I tried to do my best--"
+
+"To be sure," nodded Bentley, "'Come let me straighten your wig' says
+she, and there you sat like--egad, like a furious lamb!"
+
+"Jack and Bentley," says I, "'tis time we realized that our Pen's a
+woman grown and we--old men, though it seems but yesterday we were boys
+together at Charterhouse. But the years have slipped away, as years
+will, and everything is changed but our friendship. As we, in those
+early days lived, and fought, and worked together, so we loved together,
+and she--chose Jack. And because of our love, her choice was ours also.
+And in a little while she died, but left us Pen--to comfort Jack if such
+might be, and to be our little maid. Each day she hath grown more like
+to what her sweet mother was, and so we have loved her--very dearly
+until--to-day we have waked to find our little maid a woman grown--to
+think, and act, and choose for herself, and we--old men."
+
+And so I sighed, and rising crossed to the window and stood there
+awhile.
+
+"Lord!" says Bentley at last, "how the years do gallop upon a man!"
+
+"Aye!" sighed Jack, "I never felt my age till now."
+
+"Nor I!" added Bentley.
+
+"And now," says Jack, "what of Raikes; have you seen aught of him
+lately?"
+
+"No, Jack."
+
+"But I met Hammersley this morning," says Bentley, "and he was anxious
+to know when the--the--"
+
+"Meeting was likely to take place?" put in Jack, as he paused; "Purdy
+tells me I shan't be able to use this foot of mine for a month or
+more."
+
+"That will put it near Christmas," added Bentley.
+
+"Yes," nodded Jack, "I think we could do no better than Christmas Day."
+
+"A devilish strange time for a duel," says Bentley, "peace on earth, and
+all that sort of thing, you know."
+
+"Why, it's Pen," says Jack, staring hard into the fire, "she will be at
+her Aunt Sophia's then, which is fortunate on the whole. I shouldn't
+care for her to see me--when they bring me home."
+
+For a long time it seemed to me none of us spoke. I fumbled through all
+my pockets for my snuff-box without finding it (which was strange), and
+looking up presently, I saw that Bentley had upset his wine, which was
+trickling down his satin waistcoat all unnoticed.
+
+"Jack," says I at last, "a Gad's name, lend me your snuff-box!"
+
+"And now," says he, "suppose we have a hand at picquet."
+
+
+
+                           CHAPTER THREE
+
+          _Of a Flight of Steps, a Stirrup, and a Stone_
+
+
+Autumn, with its dying flowers and falling leaves, is, to my thinking, a
+mournful season, and hath ever about it a haunting melancholy, a gentle
+sadness that sorts very ill with this confounded tune of "Lillibuleero,"
+more especially when whistled in gusts and somewhat out of key.
+
+Therefore, as we walked along towards the Manor on this November
+afternoon, I drew my arm from Bentley's and turned upon him with a
+frown:
+
+"Why in heaven's name must you whistle?" I demanded.
+
+"Did I so, Dick? I was thinking."
+
+"Of what, pray?"
+
+"Of many things, man Dick, but more particularly of my nephew."
+
+"Ah!" says I scornfully, "our gallant young Viscount! our bridegroom
+elect who--ran away!"
+
+"But none the less," added Bentley, stoutly, "a pretty fellow with a
+good leg, a quick hand and a true eye, Dick--one who can tell 'a hawk
+from a hern-shaw' as the saying is."
+
+"Which I take leave to doubt," says I, sourly, "or he would have fallen
+in with our wishes and married Pen a year ago, instead of running away
+like a craven fool!"
+
+"But bethink you, Dick," says Bentley flushing, "he had never so much
+as seen her and, when he heard we were all so set on having him
+married, he writ me saying he 'preferred a wife of his own choosing' and
+then--well, he bolted!"
+
+"Like a fool!"
+
+"'Twas very natural," snorted Bentley, redder in the face than ever.
+"And what's more, he's a fine lad, a lovable lad, and a very fine
+gentleman into the bargain, as you will be the first to admit when--"
+but here Bentley broke off to turn and look at me mighty solemn all at
+once: "Dick," says he, "do you think young Raikes is so great a
+swordsman as they say?"
+
+"Yes," I answered bitterly, "and that's why I grieve for our poor Jack."
+
+"Jack?" says Bentley, staring like a fool, "Jack--ah yes, to be
+sure--to be sure."
+
+"I tell you, Bentley," I continued, impressively, "so sure as he crosses
+swords with the fellow, Jack is a dead man."
+
+"Humph!" says Bentley, after we had gone some little way in silence.
+"Man Dick, I'm greatly minded to tell thee a matter."
+
+"Well?" I enquired, listlessly.
+
+"But on second thoughts, I won't, Dick," says he, "for 'silence is
+golden,' as the saying is!"
+
+"Why then," says I, "go you on to the house; I'm minded to walk in the
+rose-garden awhile," for I had caught the flutter of Pen's cloak at the
+end of one of the walks.
+
+"Walk?" repeated Bentley, staring. "Rose-garden? But Jack will be for a
+game of picquet--"
+
+"I'll be with you anon," says I, turning away.
+
+"Hum!" says Bentley, scratching his chin, and presently sets off towards
+the house, whistling lustily.
+
+I found Penelope in the yew-walk, leaning against the statue of a satyr.
+And looking from the grotesque features above to the lovely face below,
+I suddenly found my old heart a-thumping strangely--for beside this very
+statue, in almost the same attitude, her mother had once stood long ago
+to listen to the tale of my hopeless love. For a moment it almost seemed
+that the years had rolled backward, it almost seemed that the thin grey
+hair beneath my wig might be black once more, my step light and elastic
+with youth. Instinctively, I reached out my hands and took a swift step
+across the grass, then, all at once she looked up, and seeing me,
+smiled.
+
+My hands dropped.
+
+"Penelope," I said.
+
+"Uncle Dick," says she, her smile fading, "why, what is it?"
+
+"Naught, my dear," says I, trying to smile, "old men have strange
+fancies at times--"
+
+"Nay, but what was it?" she repeated, catching my hands in hers.
+
+"Child," says I, "child, you are greatly like what your mother was
+before you."
+
+"Am I?" says she very low, looking at me with a new light in her eyes.
+Then she leaned suddenly forward and kissed me.
+
+"Why, Pen!" says I, all taken aback.
+
+"I know," she nodded, "on Monday my hand, on Wednesday my cheek, and on
+Sunday my lips--"
+
+"And to-day is Friday!"
+
+"What if it is, sir," says she, tossing her head, "I made that rule
+simply for peace and quietness sake; you and Uncle Bentley were forever
+pestering me to death, you know you were."
+
+"Were we?" says I, chuckling, "well, I'm one ahead of him to-day,
+anyhow, Pen."
+
+Talking thus, we came to the rose-garden (Pen's special care) and here
+we must needs fall a-sorrowing over the dead flowers.
+
+"And yet," says Pen, pausing beside a bush whereon hung a few faded
+blooms, "all will be as sweet, and fresh, and glorious again next year."
+
+"Yes," I answered, heavily, "next year." And I sighed again, bethinking
+me of the changes this next year must bring to all of us.
+
+"Tell me, Uncle Dick," says she, suddenly, laying a hand on either of my
+shoulders, "how did father hurt his foot?"
+
+"Why, to be sure," says I, readily, "'twas an accident. You must know
+'twas as we came down the steps at 'The Chequers', Pen; talking and
+laughing, d'ye see, he tripped and fell--caught his spur, I fancy."
+
+"But he wore no spurs, Uncle Dick," says she, mighty demure.
+
+"Oh--why--didn't he so, Pen?" says I, a little hipped. "Well, then
+he--er--just--tripped, you know--fell, you understand."
+
+"On the steps, Uncle Dick?"
+
+"Aye, on the steps," I nodded.
+
+"Prithee did he fall up the steps or down the steps, Uncle Dick?"
+
+"Down, Pen, down; he simply tripped down the steps and--and there you
+have it."
+
+"But prithee Uncle Dick--"
+
+"Nay, nay," says I, "the game waits for me, Pen--I must go."
+
+But at this moment, as luck would have it, Bentley reappeared, nor was I
+ever more glad to see him.
+
+"Aha, man Dick," cries he, wagging his finger at me. "Walk in the
+rose-garden, was it? Oh, for shame, to so abuse my confidence--Dick, I
+blush for thee; and Jack's a roaring for thee, and the game waits for
+thee; in a word--begone! And to-day, Pen," says he, as I turned away,
+"to-day is Friday!" and he stooped and kissed her pretty cheek.
+
+I had reached the terrace when I stopped all at once and, moved by a
+sudden thought, I turned about and hurriedly retraced my steps. They
+were screened from sight by one of the great yew hedges, but as I
+approached I could hear Bentley's voice:
+
+"His horse?" says Bentley.
+
+"Yes," says Pen, "and Saladin's such a quiet old horse as a rule!"
+
+"But what's his horse got to do with it?" says Bentley.
+
+"Why, you were there, Uncle Bentley. Saladin jibbed, didn't he, just as
+father had one foot in the stirrup ready to mount?"
+
+"Oh! Ha! Hum!" says Bentley. "Did Jack tell you all that, Pen?"
+
+"Who else?" says she, "'twas you caught his bridle, wasn't it?"
+
+"I? Hum! The bridle?" says Bentley, "why--egad, Pen--"
+
+"And Uncle Dick caught father as he fell," she continued.
+
+"Did Jack tell thee all that?" says Bentley.
+
+"How should I know else?" says she.
+
+"Lord!" says Bentley.
+
+"And 'twas you caught the bridle, now, wasn't it?" says she, carelessly.
+
+[Illustration: "Oh! Ha! Hum!" says Bentley, "did Jack tell you all that,
+Pen?" _Page 80._]
+
+"Why--er--since you mention it,--yes--I suppose so," mumbled Bentley,
+"oh, yes, certainly I caught the bridle--surprisingly agile in one o'
+my size, Pen, eh? But egad, the game waits--I must be off, but a kiss
+first--for saving thy father for thee, Pen."
+
+Waiting for no more, I turned and set off towards the house, but as I
+once more reached the terrace, up comes Bentley behind me, whistling
+lustily as usual.
+
+"Why Dick," says he, "where have you sprung from?"
+
+"Bentley," says I, shaking my head, "it's in my mind you've been a vasty
+fool!"
+
+"For what, Dick?"
+
+"For catching that bridle!" says I. "Why on earth couldn't you be
+content to let him trip down the steps as we agreed a week ago?"
+
+"Why then, what of Jack's story of Saladin's jibbing--though strike me
+purple, Dick, if I thought he had enough imagination."
+
+"Do you think he did tell her so?" says I.
+
+"To be sure he did, Dick, unless--"
+
+"Humph!" says I, "let's go and ask him."
+
+Side by side we entered the great hall, and side by side we came to the
+door of the library; now the door was open, and from within came the
+sound of Jack's voice.
+
+"I tell thee 'twas nought but a stone, Pen," he was saying, "I say, an
+ordinary, loose cobble-stone! Good Gad, madam, and why shouldn't it be
+a cobble-stone? Gentlemen are forever twisting their ankles on
+cobble-stones! I tell you--" Hereupon Bentley threw open the door, but I
+entered first.
+
+"No, no, Jack!" I cried, "'twas down the steps--you tripped down the
+steps at 'The Chequers,' you know you did!"
+
+"Nay, 'twas Saladin jibbed,--don't you remember?" says Bentley.
+
+"Why, Dick and Bentley!" cries Jack, staring from one to the other of
+us, "what a plague's all this? Don't I know how I hurt my own foot? I
+say 'twas a cobble-stone, and a cobble-stone it shall be. Lord! how
+could ye try to fill our maid's pretty head with such folly? Shame on ye
+both! Why not stick to the truth--and my cobble-stone?"
+
+"And now, dear Sir John," says Pen, very soft and demure, "pray tell
+me--how _did_ you hurt your foot?"
+
+"Hey--what?" spluttered Jack, "don't I tell you--"
+
+"A flight of steps, a stirrup, and a stone!" sighed Pen, shaking her
+head at us each in turn.
+
+"Now look'ee, Pen," says Jack, trying to bluster, "I say I'm not to be
+badgered and brow-beaten by a slip of a girl--I say I'm not, by heaven!"
+
+"Oh, my dears, my dears!" sighed Pen, reprovingly, "Isn't it time you
+learned that you can keep few--very few secrets from me, who understand
+you all so well because I love you all so well? I have been your
+playfellow and companion so long that, methinks, I know you much better
+than you know yourselves; I, who have had my word in all your councils?
+How foolish then to think to put me off with such flimsy stories. Of
+course I shall find out all about it, sooner or later, I always do. Yes,
+I shall, even if I must needs hide in corners sirs, and hearken at
+keyholes, and peep and pry--so I warn you." And with this, she nodded
+and turned and left us to stare blankly at one another.
+
+"That settles it!" said Bentley, gloomily, "she'll no more swallow thy
+cobble-stone than Dick's flight of steps, Jack. She'll know the truth
+before the week is out!"
+
+"The minx!" cried Jack, "the jade!" And with the word he snatched off
+his wig and hurled it into a corner.
+
+"Jack," says I, "what's to be done?"
+
+"Done?" he roared, "I'll pack her off to her Aunt Sophia to-morrow!"
+
+"Aye," says Bentley, "but--will she go?"
+
+"Bentley," says Jack, "I'll thank you to reach me my wig!"
+
+
+
+                             CHAPTER FOUR
+
+                 _Of how We fell in with a Highwayman at
+                            the Cross Roads_
+
+
+Myself and Bentley were returning from another dog-fight. This time my
+dog had lost (which was but natural, seeing its very unfit condition,
+though to be sure it looked well enough at a glance). Alas! the sport is
+not what it was in my young days, when rogues can so put off a sick dog
+upon the unsuspecting. Methinks 'tis becoming a very brutal, degrading
+practice--have determined to have done with dog-fighting once and for
+all. Bentley was in a high good humour (as was but to be expected,
+seeing he had won nigh upon two hundred guineas of me), but then, as I
+have said, Bentley never wins but he must needs show it.
+
+"By the way," said he, breaking off in the middle of the air he was
+humming, "did you see him at the fight?"
+
+"Him?" says I.
+
+"Raikes," nodded Bentley. "Man Dick, I never see the fellow but my
+fingers itch for his throat. I heard some talk that he had won a
+thousand or so from young Vesey, by this one bout alone."
+
+"Humph!" says I.
+
+"Come, Dick," says Bentley, "let's get on; he cannot be so very far
+behind, and I have no stomach for his society--I'll race you to the
+cross roads for fifty."
+
+"I'll hurry myself for no such fellow as Raikes!" says I.
+
+"Nor fifty guineas?"
+
+"No," says I, "nor fifty guineas!"
+
+Whereupon, Bentley yielding to my humour, we rode on with never a word
+betwixt us. It lacked now but a short three weeks to Christmas, and
+every day served but to bring Jack nearer to his grave, and add a
+further load to that which pressed upon my heart. At such times the
+thought of Pen, and the agony I must see in her eyes so soon, drove me
+well-nigh frantic. In this rough world men must be prepared for
+fortune's buffets--and shame to him that blenches, say I--but when
+through us Fate strikes those we fain would shelter, methinks it is
+another matter. Thus, had Jack proved coward, I for one should have
+rejoiced for Pen's sake, but as it was, no power on earth could stay
+the meeting, and this Christmas would bring her but anguish, and a great
+sorrow. With all these thoughts upon my mind I was very silent and
+despondent--and what wonder! As for Bentley, he, on the contrary,
+manifested an indifference out of all keeping with his character, an
+insensibility that angered and disgusted me not a little, but surprised
+and pained me, most of all.
+
+So it was in moody silence that we walked our horses up the hill where
+the beacon stands, and were barely on top, when we heard the sound of
+rapidly approaching hoofs behind us, and a few minutes later Sir Harry
+Raikes with his friend, Captain Hammersley, galloped up.
+
+Hereupon Bentley, in his usual easy, inconsequent fashion, fell into
+conversation with them, but as for me, having bowed in acknowledgment of
+their boisterous salutation, I relapsed once more into gloomy thought.
+Little by little however, it became apparent to me that for some reason
+I had become a mark for their amusement; more than once I caught them
+exchanging looks, or regarding me from the corners of their eyes in such
+fashion as set my ears a-tingling. The Captain was possessed of a
+peculiarly high-pitched, falsetto laugh, which, recurring at frequent
+intervals (and for no reason as I could see), annoyed me almost beyond
+bearing. But I paid no heed, staring straight before me and meditating
+upon a course of action which had been in my head for days past--a plan
+whereby Jack's duel might be prevented altogether, and our sweet maid
+shielded from the sorrow that must otherwise blight her life so very
+soon. As I have said before, there was a time, years ago, when I was
+accounted a match for any with the small-sword, and though a man grows
+old he can never forget what he has learned of the art. I had, besides,
+seen Raikes fight on two or three occasions, and believed, despite the
+disparity of our years, that I could master him. If on the other hand I
+was wrong, if, to put it bluntly, he should kill me, well, I was a very
+lonely man with none dependent upon me, nay, my money would but benefit
+others the sooner; moreover, I was a man of some standing, a Justice of
+the Peace, with many friends in high authority, both in London and the
+neighbourhood, who I know would raise such an outcry as would serve to
+rid the county of Raikes once and for all. And a better riddance could
+not well be imagined.
+
+Thus, I argued, in either case my object could not fail, and therefore I
+determined on the first favourable opportunity to put the matter to a
+sudden issue. Presently the road narrowed so that we were forced to ride
+two abreast, and I noticed with a feeling of satisfaction that Raikes
+purposely reined in so as to bring himself beside me.
+
+"By the way, Sir Richard," says he carelessly, "what of Jack Chester?"
+
+"You possibly allude to my friend Sir John Chester," I corrected.
+
+"To be sure," he answered, staring me in the eyes--"to be sure--Jack
+Chester." Hereupon the Captain giggled. "They tell me his leg yet
+troubles him," continued Raikes, seeing I was silent.
+
+"'Tis nearly well," says Bentley, over his shoulder, and at the same
+time I noticed his great mare began to edge closer to the Captain's
+light roan.
+
+"Can it be possible?" cried Raikes, in mock surprise. "On my soul, you
+astonish me!" At this the Captain screeched with laughter again, yet he
+broke off in the middle to curse instead, as his horse floundered into
+the ditch.
+
+"Pink my immortal soul, sir!" says he, as he got down to pick up his
+hat, "but I verily believe that great beast of yours is gone suddenly
+mad!" And indeed, Bentley's mare was sidling and dancing in a manner
+that would seem to lend truth to the words.
+
+"No," says Bentley, very solemn, "she has an objection to sudden
+noises--'twas your laugh frightened her belike."
+
+The Captain muttered a curse or two, wiped the mud from his hat, and
+climbing back into the saddle, we proceeded upon our way.
+
+"Speaking of Jack Chester," began Raikes, but here he was interrupted by
+Bentley, who had been regarding us for some time with an uneasy eye.
+
+"Gentlemen," says he, pointing to the finger-post ahead of us, "'tis
+said Sir Charles d'Arcy was stopped at the cross roads yonder by a
+highwayman, no later than last night, and he swears the fellow was none
+other than the famous Jerry Abershaw himself, and he is said to be in
+these parts yet."
+
+"The devil!" exclaimed the Captain, glancing about apprehensively, while
+I stared at Bentley in surprise, for this was the first I had heard of
+it. As for Sir Harry Raikes, he dismissed the subject with a careless
+shrug, and turned his attention to me once more.
+
+"Speaking of Jack Chester," says he, "I begin to fear that leg of his
+will never mend."
+
+"Ah?" says I, looking him in the eyes for the first time, "yes?"
+
+"Considering the circumstances," he nodded.
+
+"It would seem that your fears were wasted none the less, sir."
+
+"My dear Sir Richard," he smiled, "as I was saying to some one only the
+other day, an injured arm--or leg for that matter, has often supplied a
+lack of courage before now."
+
+As he ended, the Captain began to laugh again, but meeting my eye,
+stopped, for the moment I had waited for had arrived, and I reined round
+so suddenly as to throw Sir Harry's horse back upon its haunches.
+
+"Damnation!" he cried, struggling with the plunging animal, "are you
+mad?"
+
+"Do me the favour to dismount," says I, suiting the action to the word,
+and throwing my bridle to Bentley.
+
+"And what now?" says Raikes, staring.
+
+"You will perceive that the road here is passably even, and the light
+still fairly good," says I.
+
+"Highly dramatic, on my soul!" he sneered.
+
+"Sir Harry Raikes," says I, stepping up to his stirrup, "you will notice
+that I have here a sword and a whip--which shall it be?"
+
+The sneer left his lips on the instant, his face as suddenly grew red,
+and I saw the veins start out on his temples.
+
+"What," cries he, "is it a fight you're after?"
+
+"Exactly!" says I, and laid my hand upon my small-sword; but at this
+moment Bentley rode betwixt us.
+
+"By God, you don't, Dick!" says he, laying his great hand upon my
+shoulder.
+
+"By God, but I do!" says I, endeavouring vainly to shake off his grasp.
+
+"Man, Dick," cries he, "you are a madman--and full six inches shorter
+in the reach! Now I--"
+
+"You!" I broke in, "you are a mountain--besides, the quarrel is
+mine--come, loose me, Bentley--loose me, I say."
+
+"No! Devil take me--do you think I'll stand by and see you murdered?"
+
+"Bentley," I cried, "if ever you were friend of mine you will free my
+arm this instant."
+
+All this time Raikes sat regarding us with a look of such open amusement
+as came nigh driving me frantic.
+
+"Mr. Bentley," says he, with a flourish of his hat, "I fancy 'twould be
+as well for Sir Richard were I and Captain Hammersley to ride on before,
+yet do not loose him till I am out of sight, I beg."
+
+"You hear, Bentley?" says I, trembling with passion. "Come--let us
+go--fool," I whispered under my breath, "for her sake!" Bentley's
+fingers twitched upon my arm.
+
+"Ah, I thought so!" he nodded.
+
+"Then quick, do as I bid, and get it over."
+
+"On condition that you settle the affair in the meadow yonder--'tis a
+better place in all respects," says Bentley, under his breath.
+
+"I care not where it be," says I.
+
+"So," sneered Raikes, "you are bent on fighting, then?"
+
+"In the meadow yonder," nodded Bentley, pointing with his whip to a
+field that lay beyond the narrow stone bridge, some little distance
+ahead.
+
+"As you will," says Raikes, shrugging his shoulders; "but whatever the
+consequences, I call you all to witness that Sir Richard's own
+impulsiveness is entirely to blame."
+
+So, having remounted, we rode forward, Raikes and the Captain leading
+the way.
+
+Now as we drew nearer to the bridge I have mentioned, I noticed a
+solitary figure wrapped in a horseman's cloak who sat upon the coping,
+seemingly absorbed in watching the flow of the stream beneath. We were
+almost upon him when he slowly rose to his feet, and as he turned his
+head I saw that he was masked, and, furthermore, that in either hand he
+held a long-barrelled pistol.
+
+"Abershaw, by God!" exclaimed the Captain, reining up all of a sudden.
+
+"Stand!" cried a harsh voice, whereupon we all very promptly obeyed with
+the exception of Raikes, who, striking spurs to his horse, dashed in
+upon the fellow with raised whip. There was the sound of a blow, a
+bitter curse, and the heavy whip, whirling harmlessly through the air,
+splashed down into the stream.
+
+"Ah! would you then?" says the fellow, with the muzzles of the pistols
+within a foot of Sir Harry's cowering body. "Ah, would you? Curse me,
+but I've a mind to blow the heart and liver out of you--d'ye take me?"
+
+"I'll see you hanged for this," said Raikes, betwixt his teeth.
+
+"Maybe aye, maybe no," says the fellow, in the same rough yet
+half-jovial voice, "but for the present come down--get down, d'ye
+hear?" Muttering oaths, Sir Harry perforce dismounted, and being by this
+still nearer the threatening muzzles, immediately proceeded to draw out
+a heavy purse, which he sullenly extended toward the highwayman, who,
+shifting one pistol to his pocket, took it, weighed it in his hand a
+moment, and then coolly tossed it over into the stream.
+
+"What the devil!" gasped Raikes, "are you mad?"
+
+"Maybe aye, maybe no," says the fellow, grinning beneath his mask, "but
+that's neither here nor there, master, the question betwixt us being a
+coat."
+
+"What coat?" cries Raikes, with a bewildered stare.
+
+"This coat," says the fellow, tapping him upon the arm with his pistol
+barrel, "and a very passable coat it is--fine velvet, I swear, and as
+I'm a living sinner, a flowered waistcoat!--come, take 'em off, d'ye
+hear?"
+
+Very slowly, Sir Harry obeyed, swearing frightfully, while the fellow,
+sitting upon the parapet of the bridge, swung his legs and watched him.
+
+"Humph!" says he, as if to himself, "buckskin breeches, and boots brand
+new--burn me!" and then suddenly in a louder tone: "Off with them!"
+
+"What d'ye mean?" snarled Raikes, and his face was murderous.
+
+"What I says," returned the other, with a flourish of his pistols, "such
+being my natur', d'ye take me? And if the gentleman in the muddy hat
+moves a finger nearer his barkers, I'll blow his head off--curse me if
+I won't." Saying which the highwayman began to whistle softly, swinging
+his legs in time to himself. As for the Captain, the hand which had
+crept furtively towards his pistols dropped as if it had been shot, and
+he sat watching the fellow with staring eyes.
+
+And indeed he made a strange, fantastic figure sitting there hunched up
+in the fading light, with the quick gleam of his ever restless eyes
+showing through the slits of his hideous half-mask, and the pout of his
+whistling lips beneath; nay, there was about the whole figure, from the
+rusty spurs at his heels to the crown of his battered hat, something
+almost devilish, with an indefinable mockery beyond words.
+
+"Bentley," I whispered, as Raikes slowly kicked off his boots one after
+the other, "this fellow's a madman beyond a doubt, or we are dreaming."
+Bentley's reply was something betwixt a groan and a choke, and looking
+round, I saw that his face was purple.
+
+"Man, don't do that," I cried, "you'll burst a blood-vessel!"
+
+"Come," says the fellow, breaking off his whistle of a sudden, and
+turning over the garments at his feet with the toe of his boot, "you
+wouldn't go for to cheat me out of your breeches, would you? Come now,
+master, off with 'em, I say, for look ye, I mislike to be kept waiting
+for a thing as I wants--such being my natur', d'ye take me?"
+
+Sir Harry Raikes stood rigid, his face dead white--only his burning eyes
+and twitching mouth told of the baffled fury that was beyond all words.
+Twice he essayed to speak and could not--once he turned to look at us
+with an expression of such hopeless misery and mute appeal as moved even
+me to pity. As for the highwayman, he began to whistle and swing his
+legs once more.
+
+"Bentley," says I, "this must go no farther."
+
+"What can we do?" gasped Bentley, and laid his heavy hand upon my arm.
+
+"Come," says the fellow again, rising to his feet.
+
+"No," cries Raikes, in a choking voice, "not for all the devils in
+hell!"
+
+"I'll count five," grinned the fellow, and he levelled his pistols.
+
+"One!" says he, but Raikes never stirred--"Two," the harsh, inexorable
+voice went on, "three--four--" There was a sudden wild sob, and Sir
+Harry Raikes was shivering in his hat and shirt. The highwayman now
+turned his attention to Raikes's horse--though keeping a wary eye upon
+us--and having drawn both pistols from their holsters, motioned him to
+remount. Sir Harry obeyed with never so much as a word; which done, the
+fellow gave a whistle, upon which a horse appeared from the shadow of
+the hedge beyond, from whose saddle he took two lengths of cord, and
+beckoning to the Captain, set him to bind Raikes very securely to the
+stirrup-leathers. As one in a dream the Captain proceeded about it
+(bungling somewhat in the operation), but it was done at last.
+
+"Now, my masters," says the fellow briskly, "I must trouble each one of
+you for his barkers--and no tricks, mark me, no tricks!" With this he
+nodded to Bentley, who yielded up his weapons after a momentary
+hesitation, while the Captain seemed positively eager to part with his,
+and I in my turn was necessitated to do the same.
+
+It may be a matter of wonder to some, that one man could so easily
+disarm four, but 'tis readily understood if you have looked into the
+muzzle of a horse-pistol held within a few inches of your head.
+
+Thus, all being completed, the highwayman, having mounted, gave us the
+word to proceed, Bentley and I riding first, then Raikes and the
+Captain, and last of all the fellow, pistol in hand. So thus it was, in
+the dusk of the evening, that we came into Tonbridge Town, with never a
+word betwixt us--myself silent from sheer amazement, the Captain for
+reasons of his own, Sir Harry Raikes for very obvious causes, but mostly
+(as I judge) on account of his chattering teeth, and Bentley because a
+man cannot whistle "Lillibuleero" beneath his breath and talk at the
+same time.
+
+Lights were beginning to gleam at windows as we entered the High Street,
+and here I made sure the highwayman would have left us--but no, on
+turning my head, there he rode, close behind--his battered hat over his
+nose, and his pistol in his hand, for all the world as if we were back
+on the open road rather than the main thoroughfare of a Christian town.
+
+By this time we were become a mark for many eyes; people came running
+from all sides, the air hummed with voices; shouts were heard, mingled
+with laughter and jeers, but we rode on, and through it all at a gallop.
+As we passed "The Chequers" I saw the windows full of faces, and
+Truscott and Finch with five or six others came running out to stare
+after us open mouthed. So we galloped through Tonbridge Town, and never
+drew rein until we were out upon the open road once more. There the
+fellow stopped us.
+
+"Masters all," says he, "'tis here we part--maybe you'll forget
+me--maybe not--especially one of you; d'ye take me?" and he pointed to
+the shivering figure of Raikes. "The wind is plaguily chill I'll allow,
+but burn me! could I be blamed for that, my masters--what, all silent?
+Well! Well! Howsomever, give me that trinket, Master--just to show
+there's no ill-feeling, so to speak; and he indicated a small gold
+locket that Raikes wore round his neck on a riband, who, without a word,
+or even looking up, slipped it off and laid it in the other's
+outstretched hand.
+
+"Well, good-night, my masters, good-night!" says he, in his jovial
+voice; "maybe we shall meet again, who knows? My best respects to you
+all--me being respectful by natur'. Good-night." So, with an awkward
+flourish of his hat, he wheeled his horse and galloped away towards
+London.
+
+
+
+                           CHAPTER FIVE
+
+          _Concerning the true Identity of our Highwayman_
+
+
+'Twas some half-hour later that we found Jack in his library, seated
+before the fire, his wine at his elbow and Pen at his feet, reading
+aloud from Mr. Steele's "Tatler."
+
+Upon our sudden appearance Penelope rose, and looked from myself to
+Bentley a trifle anxiously I thought. Now, as I made my bow to her, I
+heard Bentley softly begin to whistle "Lillibuleero," and though I had
+heard him do so many times before, it suddenly struck me that this was
+the air the highwayman fellow had whistled as he sat swinging his legs
+upon the bridge.
+
+"Bentley, to-day is Wednesday!" I expostulated, as breaking off in the
+middle of a bar, he kissed Pen full upon the lips.
+
+"To be sure it is," says he, and kissed her again upon the cheek.
+
+"And ten o'clock," added Jack, "and time all maids were abed."
+
+"Not before I even matters," says I. "I'll give second place to none,
+least of all Bentley!" And I having kissed her twice--once upon the
+cheek for Wednesday, and once upon the lips for myself,--she dropped us
+a laughing courtesy, and with a final good-night kiss for Jack, and a
+nod to each of us, ran up to bed. But even then Bentley must needs
+follow her out to the stairs and stand there whispering his
+nonsense--which goes but to prove the jealous nature of the man!
+
+"What's to do?" says Jack, pushing the wine towards me. "I've sat here
+with the cards beside me ever since eight o'clock--what's to do?"
+
+"Why, you must know," I began, "we were stopped at the cross roads by a
+highwayman--myself and Bentley, with Captain Hammersley and Sir Harry
+Raikes--"
+
+Here Bentley, returning, must needs throw himself into a chair, laughing
+and choking all at once.
+
+"Raikes--" he gasped,--"in his shirt--by the Lord! Oh, egad, Jack!
+fluttering in the wind--"
+
+"What in the world!" began Jack, staring. "Is he drunk or mad?"
+
+"As I tell you," says I, loosening Bentley's cravat, "we were stopped by
+a highwayman--" and forthwith I plunged into an account of the whole
+matter.
+
+"Egad!" cries Bentley again, breaking in ere I was half done, "here was
+Dick offering Raikes a choice betwixt his horsewhip and his sword--and
+he, look you, a full six inches shorter in the reach, while I--"
+
+"You!" says I, "he couldn't help but pink you somewhere or other at the
+first pass--"
+
+"Well, Raikes was a-sneering as I say," pursued Bentley, "when up comes
+our highwayman and coolly strips him to his very shirt, Jack--ties him
+to his horse, and parades him all through Tonbridge--rat me!--and as I
+tell you, the wind, Jack--'t was cursedly cold, and--and--oh! strike me
+purple!" Here Bentley choked again, and while I thumped his back, he and
+Jack rolled in their chairs, and shook the very casements with their
+laughter.
+
+"His shirt?" gasped Jack at last, wiping his eyes.
+
+"His shirt," groaned Bentley, wiping his.
+
+"Lord!" cries Jack, "Lord! 'twill be the talk of the town," says he,
+after a while.
+
+"To be sure it will," says Bentley, and hereupon they fell a-roaring
+with laughter again. For my part, what betwixt thumping Bentley's back
+and the memory of Christmas morning now so near, I was sober enough.
+
+They were still howling with laughter, and Bentley's face had already
+assumed a bluish tinge, when the door opened and a servant appeared, who
+handed a letter to Jack. Still laughing, he took it and broke the seal;
+at sight of the first words, however, his face underwent a sudden
+change. "Is the messenger here?" says he, very sharp.
+
+"No, Sir John."
+
+"Humph!" says Jack, "you may go then;" and he began to read. But he had
+not read a dozen words when he broke out into his customary oath.
+
+"May the devil anoint me! Did you ever hear the like of that, now?"
+
+"What?" says I.
+
+"I say, did you ever hear the like of it?" he repeated. "Dick and
+Bentley, this fellow is the very devil!"
+
+"What fellow?" says I.
+
+"Lay you fifty it's Tawnish," gurgled Bentley.
+
+"Done!" says I.
+
+"A deuced pretty coil, on my soul!" says Jack, beginning to limp up and
+down, "oh, a deuced pretty coil--damn the fellow!"
+
+"What fellow?" says I again.
+
+"Make it a hundred?" says Bentley, in my ear.
+
+"What fellow?" cries Jack, taking me up, "d'ye mean to sit there and ask
+what fellow--whom should it be?"
+
+"Aye, who indeed?" added Bentley.
+
+"If it's Raikes--" I began.
+
+"Raikes," roars Jack, snatching his wig off, "Raikes--bah!"
+
+"Then supposing you will be so very obliging as to tell us who the devil
+you do mean?"
+
+"Why, aren't I trying to?" cries Jack, indignantly, "but you give a man
+no chance between you. Listen to this." And, having re-settled his wig,
+he drew the candles nearer to him and read as follows:
+
+  "'My very dear Sir John--'
+
+("The devil anoint his very dear Sir John!)
+
+  "'It gives me infinite pleasure to have the honour of telling you--'
+
+("There's a line for you!)
+
+  "'of telling you that the second of my tasks is now accomplished--to
+  wit, that of making Sir Harry Raikes a laughing-stock.'"
+
+"What?" I cried.
+
+"Listen," says Jack.
+
+  "'Whether a gentleman riding abroad in naught but his hat and shirt
+  is a sufficiently laughable matter, or an object of derision,
+  depends altogether upon the point of view, and I must leave your
+  friends, namely, Sir Richard Eden and Mr. Bentley, to decide. There
+  remains now but one more undertaking, that of putting you
+  all--together and at the same time--at a disadvantage, which I shall
+  confidently hope to perform so soon as Dame Fortune will permit.
+
+  "'I am returning their pistols to Sir Richard Eden and Mr. Bentley
+  to-night.
+
+  "'Trusting that you and yours are blooming in all health, I beg to
+  subscribe myself,
+
+  "'Your most obedient, humble servant to command,
+
+                                                  "'HORATIO TAWNISH.'"
+
+"Tawnish?" says I.
+
+"Tawnish," says Bentley.
+
+"Tawnish!" says Jack. "Devil take him!"
+
+"By heaven!" says I, remembering the grim, determined figure of the
+highwayman, "by heaven, he has a man's body beneath his silks and laces
+after all."
+
+"Egad!" says Jack, sourly, "I almost think you love the fellow."
+
+"On my soul!" says I, "I almost think I do."
+
+
+
+                           CHAPTER SIX
+
+                 _Of the Dawning of Christmas Day_
+
+
+In most lives (as I suppose) there is a time which, looming ahead of us
+dark and sombre, fills us with a direful expectancy and a thousand
+boding fears, so that with every dawn we thank God that it is not yet.
+Still, the respite thus allowed brings us little ease, for the knowledge
+of its coming haunts us through the day and night, creeping upon us
+nearer and nearer with every tick of the clock, until the last chime has
+rung--until the sand is all run down in the glass, and we are left face
+to face with our destiny to front it as we may.
+
+Christmas Day was dawning. From my window I had watched the first pale
+light gather little by little beyond the distant trees, until the whole
+dismal scene had come into view.
+
+It had snowed all night, and now everything showed beneath a white
+burden that, as I watched, seemed horribly suggestive of shrouds; so I
+turned from the casement with a shiver, and drawing the curtains, sat
+down before the fire (which I had mended during the night), dejected in
+mind, and heavy with lack of sleep. Somewhere further down the corridor
+I could hear Bentley snoring, and the sound, rising and falling in the
+quietude with wearisome monotony, irritated my fractious nerves to that
+degree that I was of half a mind to go and wake him. Since Penelope had
+left for London, two days before, he and I had been staying with Jack at
+the Manor. And very silent the great place had seemed without her; Jack
+had been more fretful than usual, and more than once I had thrown down
+my cards in a huff, for cards, after all, were a very sorry substitute
+for our lovely, laughing Pen. Hereupon I must needs fall to thinking of
+her mother (as indeed I oft do of late)--dead now these twenty years and
+more. But what are years after all to one who has loved as I? And from
+the broken threads of my life that was, I began to weave a life of the
+"might have been"--a fuller, richer life, perfected by love, and a
+woman's sweet companionship--so very different to the lonely life that
+was mine. Well, she had decreed otherwise,--and now--now she was
+dead--and I an old man, and lonely. But Jack had loved her passing well,
+and he was lonely too--and Bentley likewise--Bentley, who was snoring
+like a grampus. I rose, and slipping on some clothes, stepped out into
+the corridor. But with my hand upon the latch of his bedroom door I
+stopped, and changing my mind, went down the stairs to the library. To
+my surprise the candles were still burning, and through the open door I
+saw Jack sprawled across the table, his face buried in his hands, and
+beside him Penelope's miniature. Now as I stood there hesitating, I saw
+his shoulders heaving very strangely, wherefore, turning about, I began
+to creep softly up the stairs again, lest he should find himself
+discovered. Half-way up, however, I heard the scrape of his chair as he
+rose, and a moment after the sound of his step, firm and resolute as
+ever, noting which I turned and came down again, coughing very naturally
+as I reached the last stair.
+
+"Ah, Dick!" says he, as he turned and saw me, "A Merry Christmas to
+thee."
+
+Now it had ever been our custom, since he and I and Bentley were lads
+together at Charterhouse, at this so happy season to greet each other
+thus, but for once I found the words to stick most woefully, and for no
+reason in the world my eyes wandered from his face to the miniature upon
+the table, seeing which he picked it up--yet kept it covered in his
+hand.
+
+"Dick," says he, staring up at the cornice very hard, "we loved her
+mother well--passing well--you, and Bentley, and I."
+
+"Aye," says I, "we did."
+
+"This was the first great sorrow of my life--that by my happiness you
+two were rendered desolate," says he, laying his hand upon my shoulder.
+
+"No, no," says I.
+
+"Yes," says he, "think you I have been so blind, Dick?"
+
+"You were her choice," says I.
+
+"True, I was her choice," he repeated, "and methinks it came nigh
+breaking both your hearts, yet you were my friends still--the old bonds
+were too strong for self to break them."
+
+"'T were a poor friendship else," says I.
+
+"And now, Dick," says he, with his eyes on the cornice again, "there is
+Pen," and I saw his lips quiver slightly.
+
+"Aye," I nodded, "there's Pen--our Pen."
+
+I felt his fingers tighten on my shoulder, but he was silent.
+
+"When I go out to-day," says he at last, and stopped.
+
+"When I go out to-day--" he began once more, and stopped again; then,
+with a sudden gesture, he thrust the miniature into my hand. "You and
+Bentley!" says he, and turned to the papers that littered the table.
+"You understand?" says he, over his shoulder.
+
+"Yes," says I, from the window, gazing across the bleak, grey desolation
+of the park. "Yes, I understand."
+
+"I've been setting my papers in order, Dick,--a hard business," says he,
+with a rueful shake of the head, "a hard business, Dick--and now I'm
+minded to write a few lines to her, and that methinks will be harder
+yet." And passing his hand wearily over his brow, he took up his pen.
+
+"Oh Jack--Jack," says I, suddenly, "there may be hope yet--"
+
+"None," says he, quietly; "I was ever a fool with the small-sword, as
+you will remember, Dick. But I do not repine--you and Bentley are left."
+
+So I presently went up-stairs again, and this time I did not pass
+Bentley's door, but entering, found him already nearly dressed, and as I
+live!--a-whistling of his eternal "Lillibuleero."
+
+"Bentley," says I, sharply, "you surely forget what day it is?"
+
+"No," says he, reaching out his hand with a smile. "A Merry Christmas,
+Dick!"
+
+But seeing my look, and how I shrank from his proffered hand, his face
+grew solemn all in a moment.
+
+"Good God, man!" I cried, "cannot you understand!" and with the words, I
+held up the miniature before his eyes. "From to-day she is in our care
+alone--her mother died twenty years ago--and to-day--poor Jack--oh, damn
+your Merry Christmas!--are you so utterly heartless and without feeling,
+or only a blind fool?"
+
+And with this I turned my back fairly upon him and hurried from the
+room.
+
+
+
+                        CHAPTER SEVEN
+
+            _Which deals, among other Matters, with
+                      the Ring of Steel_
+
+
+My anger toward Bentley, sudden though it may appear, was scarcely the
+outcome of the moment. I could not but call to mind the thousand little
+things he had both done and said during the past weeks that demonstrated
+the strange indifference he had shown toward the whole affair. Thus, as
+the day advanced, my feeling against him grew but the more intense.
+Looking back on it now, I am inclined to put this down partly to the
+reason already stated, partly to lack of sleep, and partly to the
+carking care that had gnawed at my heart all these weeks--though even
+now I am inclined to think that his conduct, as I then viewed it,
+justified my resentment.
+
+I noticed as the day advanced that he seemed to be labouring under some
+strong excitement, and more than once he manifested a desire to speak
+with me aside, but I took good care to give him no opportunity. At
+length, however, Jack chancing to be out of the room for a moment, he
+seized me by the arm ere I could escape him.
+
+"Dick--" he began.
+
+"Sir!" I cut in, shaking myself free of him, "whatever explanation you
+may have to offer for your strange, and--yes, sir--utterly heartless
+conduct of late, I beg that you will let it stand until this most
+unhappy affair is over--I'm in no mood for it now." He fell back from
+me, staring as one utterly bewildered for a moment, then he smiled.
+
+"If you will but listen, Dick--"
+
+"Sir," says I, drawing away from him, "I have asked no explanation at
+your hands, and desire none--the callousness which you have shown so
+persistently of late has utterly broken down and severed once and for
+all whatever feeling of friendship I may have entertained for you
+hitherto."
+
+"You don't mean it--you can never mean it," says he, stretching out an
+eager hand towards me. "Dick, do but listen--"
+
+"Mean it, sir!" I repeated, "I tell you it is but the memory of that
+dead friendship which stays me from calling upon you to account to me
+with your sword."
+
+"But," he stammered, "you--you would never--you could never--"
+
+"Enough, sir," says I, "I have no desire for further speech with
+you--save that it would be well at least to keep up an appearance of the
+old relationship, until this affair is over and done with."
+
+"Why, Dick!" says he, his lips twitching strangely, "why--Dick!" and
+with the word he turned suddenly and left me.
+
+The duel had been settled for twelve o'clock, and it was exactly half
+after eleven by my chronometer when a servant came to warn us that the
+coach was at the door. So we presently descended and got in with never
+a word betwixt us. When men know each other so thoroughly, there is no
+need for the mask of gaiety to be held up as is usual at such times;
+thus we rode very silent and thoughtful for the most part, until we
+heard Purdy, the surgeon, hailing us from where he stood waiting at the
+cross roads as had been arranged.
+
+"Well, sirs," says he, nodding and frowning at us in his sharp way as he
+took his seat, "and how is the foot?"
+
+"Right as a trivet!" says Jack.
+
+"I question that," says Purdy, dogmatically; "that tendon cannot be well
+for a full month yet--curse me if it can! They tell me," he went on,
+"that the other side has young Prothero--gentlemen, mark my
+words!--Prothero's a stark, staring fool--a positive ass!--A man breaks
+his leg--'Give him a clyster!' says Prothero. A child has
+teething-rash!--'A clyster! a clyster!' cries Prothero. A boy has the
+collywobbles or mumps--'A clyster!' says Prothero. Mark me, gentlemen,
+should Sir John here pink his man, depend upon it Prothero will finish
+him with a clyster!"
+
+This journey, which I had made a thousand times and more, never seemed
+so short as it did upon this Christmas morning, yet I for one
+experienced a feeling akin to relief as we were ushered into the sanded
+parlour of "The Chequers."
+
+We found Raikes arrived before us, seated at a table with Hammersley,
+Finch, and four or five others whose faces were familiar, and a
+heathenish uproar they were making. Upon our entrance they fell silent,
+however, and exchanged bows with us ere we sat down.
+
+If the episode of the shirt was not forgot, 'twas at least accounted by
+most the wiser policy to let it so appear, though all Tonbridge--nay,
+all the country round--rung with the story behind Sir Harry's back, and
+indeed (as I well know) 'tis laughed over by many to this day.
+
+And now being here, and noting the cleared floor and the other
+preparations for what was to follow, and looking at Jack beside me so
+full of strength and life, and bethinking me of what he might be so very
+soon, a deadly nausea came upon me, such as I had never felt before on
+such occasions, so that I was forced to sit down.
+
+"Nay, Dick," says Jack, shaking his head, "I have no mind to wait; get
+it over for me as soon as may be."
+
+"No, no," says Bentley, sharply, "at least let us have a bottle of wine
+first," and on this point he was so insistent that Jack was ultimately
+forced to give in to him, though even then Bentley seemed ill-content,
+for he fell to fidgetting awkwardly in his chair, and compared his
+chronometer with the clock full a dozen times in as many minutes.
+
+The crowd at the other table grew uproarious again, and more than once I
+heard the Captain's high-pitched laugh.
+
+"Bentley," says I, "'tis past twelve o'clock."
+
+"Yes," says he, and began straightway upon "Lillibuleero."
+
+Jack started and looked up.
+
+"Come, Dick, let us begin at once."
+
+"The wine's not all out yet," says Bentley, with his eyes upon the clock
+again; and now I noticed for the first time that his cheeks were devoid
+of all colour and his face seemed strangely peaked and haggard.
+
+At this moment, Jack rising, I had perforce to do the same, seeing which
+the party at the other table ceased their uproar of a sudden and a deep
+silence fell as Captain Hammersley advanced to meet me, and having
+bowed, spun a coin in the air to decide choice of ground.
+
+"Jack," says I, as I rejoined him, "you will fight with your back to
+the door, though there is little difference save that the wall is a
+trifle lighter there, and will make you less conspicuous."
+
+Jack nodded, and with Bentley's aid, began removing his coat and
+waistcoat.
+
+"Dick," says Bentley, in my ear, speaking in a strange, uneven voice,
+such as I had never heard from his lips before, while Jack busied
+himself untying his cravat--"Dick, they must not--shall not fight," and
+I saw that the sweat stood out in great drops upon his brow.
+
+"In God's name, Bentley, what's to stop them now?" says I, whereupon he
+turned away with a strange wringing motion of his hands, and seeing how
+those hands trembled, I became aware that mine were doing the same.
+
+"Be so good as to take your ground, gentlemen," said Captain Hammersley,
+advancing with the small-swords beneath his arm. Jack stepped forward at
+once, followed a moment later by Raikes. Each in turn took his weapon,
+saluted, and fell to his guard.
+
+I was just holding the crossed blades and Hammersley had scarce begun
+the count, when there arose a sudden clamour without, the door was flung
+open, and Mr. Tawnish stood bowing upon the threshold.
+
+"Ah!" says he, tripping forward daintily, in one hand his handkerchief,
+while with the other he gracefully waved his laced hat, "an affair of
+honour, I perceive. On my soul now, it gives me real pain to intrude
+myself thus--it desolates me, positively it does--but, gentlemen, this
+cannot go on."
+
+"Cannot go on--the devil, sir!" broke in the Captain loudly, "and who
+says so?"
+
+"I say so, sir," returned Mr. Tawnish, with his slow smile, "and should
+you care to hear it, I'll say so again, sir."
+
+"On what grounds?" says Hammersley, frowning.
+
+"On the grounds that mine is the prior claim to the sword of Sir Harry
+Raikes."
+
+"Bah!" cries Raikes, with a short laugh, "give the count, Hammersley,
+and we will begin."
+
+Mr. Tawnish closed and fobbed his snuff-box.
+
+"I think not, sir," says he, very quietly.
+
+"Mr. Tawnish," says Jack, "I have waited over a month to fight this
+gentleman."
+
+"Sir John," says Tawnish, bowing, "your pardon, but I have waited even
+longer--"
+
+"Whatever quarrel you may have with me, sir," Raikes broke in, "shall
+wait my time and pleasure."
+
+"I think not," says Mr. Tawnish again, his smile more engaging and his
+blue eyes more dreamy than ever; "on the contrary, I have a reason here
+which I venture to hope will make you change your mind."
+
+"A reason?" says Raikes, starting as he met the other's look. "What
+reason?"
+
+"That!" says Mr. Tawnish, and tossed something to Sir Harry's feet.
+
+Now as it lay there upon the sand, I saw that it was a small gold
+locket. For maybe a full minute there was a dead silence, while Raikes
+stared down at the locket, and Mr. Tawnish took a pinch of snuff.
+
+"Who gave you this?" says Raikes suddenly, and in a strange voice.
+
+Mr. Tawnish flicked-to the enamelled lid of his snuff-box very
+delicately with one white finger.
+
+"I took it," says he, blandly, "from a poor devil who sat shivering in
+his shirt."
+
+"You!" says Raikes, in so low a tone as to be almost a whisper--"you?"
+
+"I," returned Mr. Tawnish, with a bow.
+
+"Liar!" says Raikes, in the same dangerously suppressed murmur.
+
+"As to that," says Mr. Tawnish, shrugging his shoulders, "I will leave
+you to judge for yourself, sir."
+
+With the words, he slipped off his wig and turned his back to us for a
+moment. When he fronted us again, there stood our highwayman, his
+restless eyes gleaming evilly through the slits of his half-mask, the
+mocking smile upon his lips, the same grotesque figure beyond all doubt,
+despite his silks and laces.
+
+"So, my masters," says he, in the same rough, half-jovial tone there was
+no mistaking, "I says to you, maybe we should meet again, I says, and
+I've kept my word--such being my natur'--d'ye take me?"
+
+There broke from Sir Harry's lips an inarticulate snarl of fury as he
+leaped forward, but I managed to get between them, and Bentley had
+wrested the sword from his grasp in an instant.
+
+"Damnation!" cries he, quivering with passion, "give us the swords."
+
+"Sir," says Mr. Tawnish, bowing to the Captain, "you see, I was right,
+after all--the gentleman seems positively eager to oblige me."
+
+And, having readjusted his wig, he proceeded in his leisurely fashion to
+remove his coat and high-heeled shoes, and to tuck up his long ruffles.
+
+And now, all being ready, the thin, narrow blades rang together. Raikes
+was too expert a swordsman to let his passion master him a second time,
+and as the two faced each other there was not a pin to choose betwixt
+'em: nay, if anything, Sir Harry would almost seem the better man, what
+with his superior height and length of limb. There was, too, a certain
+gleam in his eye, and a confident smile on his lips that I remembered to
+have seen there the day he killed poor Richards.
+
+He opened his attack with a thrust in _tierce_, followed by a _longe_ so
+swift and well timed that it came nigh ending the matter there and then,
+but it was parried--heaven knows how--and I heard Jack sigh behind me.
+
+Indeed, on this occasion Sir Harry fought with all that impetuosity
+which, seconded by his incredible quickness of recovery, had rendered
+him famous. A very dangerous opponent he looked, with his great length
+of arm; and his face, with its menacing brow and gritted teeth, spoke
+his purpose more plainly than any words. Mr. Tawnish, on the other hand,
+preserved his usual serene composure, fencing with a certain airy grace
+that seemed habitual with him in all things.
+
+Momentarily, the fighting grew but the fiercer, Sir Harry sending in
+thrust after thrust, with now and then a sudden, vicious _longe_ which,
+it seemed, Mr. Tawnish had much ado to put aside; twice, in as many
+moments, Sir Harry's point flashed over his shoulder, missing his throat
+by a hair, and once it rent the cambric of his sleeve from the elbow up;
+yet the pale serenity of his face remained unchanged, his placid calm
+unbroken, save, perhaps, that his eyes were a trifle wider and brighter,
+and his chin more than usually prominent. And still they fought, fast
+and furious as ever, and though Raikes came dangerously near time and
+time again, his point was always met and parried.
+
+Minutes passed that seemed hours--there were sudden pauses when we could
+detect the thud of feet and the hiss of breath drawn sharply between
+shut teeth. And now, to my amazement, I saw that Mr. Tawnish was
+pressing the attack, answering thrust with thrust, and _longe_ with
+_longe_. The fighting grew to a positive frenzy; the shivering blades
+rang with their swift changes from _quarte_ to _tierce_.
+
+"Such a pace cannot last," says I, to no one in particular, "the end
+must come soon!"
+
+Almost with the words, I saw Mr. Tawnish's blade waver aimlessly; Raikes
+saw it too, and drove in a lightning thrust. There was a sharp clash of
+meeting steel, a flurry of blades, and Sir Harry Raikes staggered back,
+his eyes wide and staring, threw up his arms, and pitching forward,
+rolled over with a groan.
+
+
+
+                         CHAPTER EIGHT
+
+            _Wherein the Truth of the old Adage is made
+                  manifest--to wit: All's well that
+                           ends well_
+
+
+So swift and altogether unexpected had been the end, that for a long
+minute there was a strange, tense stillness, a silence wherein all eyes
+were turned from the motionless form on the floor, with the
+ever-widening stain upon the snow of his shirt, to where Mr. Tawnish
+stood, leaning upon his small-sword. Then all at once pandemonium seemed
+to break loose--some running to lift the wounded man, some wandering
+round aimlessly, but all talking excitedly, and at the same time.
+
+"Dick and Bentley," says Jack, mopping at his face with his
+handkerchief, "it's in my mind that we have made a cursed mistake for
+once--the fellow is a man."
+
+"I've known that this month and more," says I.
+
+"I say a man," repeated Jack, "and devil anoint me, I mean a man!"
+
+"Who writes verses!" added Bentley.
+
+"And what of that, sir?" cries Jack, indignantly. "I did the same myself
+once--we all did."
+
+"A patched and powdered puppy-dog!" sneers Bentley; "look at him."
+
+Now at this, glancing across at Mr. Tawnish, I saw that he still stood
+as before, only that the point of his sword was buried deep in the floor
+beneath his weight, while his pale face seemed paler even than its
+wont. As we watched, his hand slipped suddenly from the hilt, and he
+tottered slightly; then I noticed for the first time that blood was
+running down his right arm, and trickling from his finger-tips.
+
+With an exclamation, I started forward, but Bentley's grasp was on my
+shoulder, and his voice whispered in my ear: "Leave him to Jack--'tis
+better so." And indeed Jack was already beside him, had flung one arm
+about the swaying figure, and half led, half carried him to a chair.
+
+"Ah!" says Purdy, laying bare a great gash in the upper arm--"a little
+blood, but simple--simple!" and he fell to work a-sponging and
+bandaging, with a running exordium upon the humanity of the sword as
+opposed to the more deadly bullet--until at length, the dressing in
+place, Mr. Tawnish sighed and opened his eyes.
+
+"Sir John," says he, sitting up, "give me leave to tell you that my
+third and last task was accomplished this morning."
+
+"Eh?" cries Jack, "but first, let me get you out of this."
+
+"What of Sir Harry Raikes?" says Tawnish, rising.
+
+"Serious," says Purdy, shaking his head, "serious, but not altogether
+dangerous."
+
+"Good!" says Jack, giving his arm to Mr. Tawnish, "I'm glad of that."
+
+"Though," pursued Purdy, "he will be an invalid for months to come, the
+right lung--as I pointed out to my colleague, Prothero--a man of very
+excellent sense, by the way--"
+
+At this juncture, at a sign from Prothero, Purdy left us with a bow.
+Hereupon we saluted the others, and turning into an adjacent room,
+called for wine and filled our glasses to Mr. Tawnish, with all the
+honours.
+
+As he rose to make his acknowledgment, for the first time in my
+recollection he seemed ill at ease.
+
+"Sir John, and gentlemen," says he, slowly, "I had scarce looked for
+this kindness at your hands--it makes what I have to say harder than I
+had thought. Gentlemen," he continued, after a brief pause, "you each in
+turn set me an undertaking, little thinking at the time that there was
+any likelihood of my fulfilling them. As you know, however, the first
+two I accomplished some time since, and this morning I succeeded in the
+last, namely, in taking all three of you, together and at the same time,
+at a disadvantage. Sir John, gentlemen--scarce an hour ago the Lady
+Penelope Chester became my wife."
+
+Jack started up from the table with an oath, and fell back, staring at
+the speaker with knitted brows--while Bentley gazed open-mouthed--as for
+me, I could do nothing but think that our Pen was gone from our keeping
+at last.
+
+"By Gad, Jack, he's done us," cried Bentley, fetching the table a great
+blow with his fist.
+
+Now, as I stood with my back to them, staring out into the yard below,
+my eyes encountered a great, four-horsed travelling chariot, and as I
+watched it, gloomily enough, the door was flung suddenly open, and ere
+the waiting footman could let down the steps a lady leapt lightly out
+and stood looking up at the windows. All at once she turned and gazed
+straight up at me--then I saw that it was Pen. With a wave of her hand
+she darted up the steps, and a moment later was in the room.
+
+"Oh, I could wait no longer!" she cried, looking round with the tears in
+her lovely eyes, "we have been wed but an hour, and I have sat there
+praying 'twixt hope and fear, until methought I should go mad."
+
+[Illustration: "Father," says she, "this is my husband--and I am proud
+to tell you so." _Page 159._]
+
+Here, catching sight of Tawnish with his wounded arm, she uttered a low
+cry, and in a moment was kneeling beside him, kissing his uninjured hand,
+and fondling it with a thousand endearing terms. And seeing the infinite
+tenderness in his eyes and the love-light in her own, I was possessed of
+a sudden, great content. In a while, remembering us, she looked up, and,
+though her cheeks were red, her glance met ours freely and unashamed.
+
+"Father," says she, "this is my husband--and I am proud to tell you so."
+
+There was a moment's silence, and Jack's frown grew the blacker.
+
+"Father," says she again, "I am not so simple but that I found out your
+quarrel with Sir Harry, and knew that you came hither to-day to meet
+your death--so--so I sought aid of this noble gentleman. Yet first I
+begged of him to marry me, that if--if he had died to-day in your place,
+I could have mourned him as a beloved husband. Can you forgive me,
+father?"
+
+As Pen ended, she rose and approached Jack with outstretched hands; for
+a moment longer he hesitated--then he had her in his embrace.
+
+"And you, Uncle Bentley," says she, looking at us from Jack's arms,
+"and, Uncle Dick, dear, tender Uncle Dick, can you forgive your wilful
+maid?"
+
+"God knows, my dear, there's naught to forgive," says I, "save that you
+are leaving us--"
+
+"Nay, Sir Richard," cries Mr. Tawnish, "Uncle Bentley has seen to
+that--"
+
+"Uncle!" says Jack.
+
+"Uncle!" says I.
+
+"Can it be possible," says Mr. Tawnish, rising, "that you are still
+unaware of the relationship?"
+
+"Bentley," cries Jack, "explain."
+
+"To be sure," says Bentley, in his heavy way, pointing to Mr. Tawnish,
+"this is my sister's only child, Viscount Hazelmere!"
+
+"What!" cries Jack, while I stood dumb with astonishment.
+
+"As you remember, Jack and Dick," says Bentley, getting ponderously to
+his feet, "it was ever our wish that these two should marry, but, being
+young and hot-headed, the very expression of that wish was but the
+signal for them to set themselves to thwart it, even before they had
+ever seen each other. Therefore acting upon that very contrariness, I
+wrote to my graceless nephew there, telling him that he need have no
+fear for his freedom--that we had changed our plans with regard to
+him--that our Pen was a thousand times too good and sweet for such as
+he--which she is, mark you!--that she was a beauty, and reigning toast
+of all the South Country--which she likewise is, mark you--and, in a
+word, forbidding him to think any more about her. Whereupon, my young
+gentleman comes hot-foot back to England, to learn the why and
+wherefore--did the mightily indignant, an' it please you--and ended by
+vowing he'd marry her despite all three of us. As for Pen--oh, egad! I
+spun her a fine tale, I promise you--spoke of him as a poor young
+gentleman, penniless but proud, a man 'twould be folly for any maid to
+wed--and oh, Jack and Dick, it worked like a charm--she saw him and
+promptly fell in love with him, and he with her. Yet at this juncture,
+Jack, you must needs go nigh ruining all by your quarrel with Raikes;
+however, knowing my young rascal there plumed himself monstrously upon
+his swordsmanship, I offered to put it to the test, and found him mighty
+eager. But oh, curse me! as I watched them preparing to murder you,
+Jack, a little while since, and this nephew of mine failed to come,
+methought I should go mad! And to think that they were marrying each
+other all the time! Rat me, Dick and Jack! to-day will be the merriest
+Christmas of all--how say you?"
+
+So, laughing and rejoicing together, they presently went out, and I
+heard their happy voices below, ringing clear and crisp in the frosty
+air of the yard. But I remained, staring into the fire, bethinking me of
+my treatment of Bentley. The mystery of his seeming indifference was
+cleared up now; where I had failed in my design of averting Jack's duel,
+he had succeeded, nay, had even brought together these two, as had been
+the wish of our hearts for years past. And now I had insulted him,
+wantonly, beyond forgiveness. Yet we had been friends so long--perhaps,
+if I told him humbly--
+
+"Dick!" said a voice behind me, and a great hand was laid upon my
+shoulder, "Dick!"
+
+"Bentley," says I, hurriedly, "I was wrong--will you--can you forgive--"
+
+"Man, Dick," says he, grasping my hand. "A Merry Christmas to thee!
+Come, the others are waiting you, and Pen's a-dying to kiss you, I
+swear."
+
+So he took me by the arm, and we went down-stairs together. And when I
+paused, and would have spoken further of my fool's mistake, he clapped
+me upon the shoulder again, and fell a-whistling of "Lillibuleero."
+
+
+                               THE END
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's The Honourable Mr. Tawnish, by Jeffery Farnol
+
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