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+The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Pirate's Pocket Book, by Dion Clayton
+Calthrop
+
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+
+
+
+Title: The Pirate's Pocket Book
+
+
+Author: Dion Clayton Calthrop
+
+
+
+Release Date: March 8, 2008  [eBook #24783]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII)
+
+
+***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PIRATE'S POCKET BOOK***
+
+
+E-text prepared by Emmy and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team (https://www.pgdp.net)
+
+
+
+Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this
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+
+
+
+
+
+THE PIRATE'S POCKET BOOK
+
+by
+
+DION CLAYTON CALTHROP
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+Sisley's Ltd.
+Makers Of Beautiful Books
+London
+
+
+
+
+            To
+            GEORGE,
+            BARBARA
+            and
+            JAMES
+            BYAM SHAW
+
+        _with my love_.       1907.
+
+
+
+
+THE
+PIRATE'S POCKET BOOK
+
+THIS book you hold in your hand belonged once to a very celebrated
+Pirate.
+
+He was so celebrated that the newspapers--of that time--always said nice
+things about him, and always knew what he was doing before he did
+himself. As he was a very truthful man, he did the things, so that the
+editors might not get into trouble.
+
+Which was kind.
+
+By which I do not mean that he was always kind.
+
+[Illustration: MAP of Tomb's Island (_very exciting_).]
+
+Nobody knew how old he was. Some said that he was so old that he had
+never been born.
+
+Some said that he must be young or he could not be so wicked.
+
+So you see there were two opinions about him.
+
+There are always two opinions about a celebrated man.
+
+If you look at him you will see that he dressed to please himself.
+
+[Illustration: Supposed birthplace of Tomb family. Family of Bone still
+living in the cottage.]
+
+He wore a nice hat--but you have noticed that; and he had a roving eye.
+
+By which I do not mean his eye walked about like this, but that he
+looked around him a good deal.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+If you are thinking of becoming a Pirate--and there is plenty of room at
+the top of every profession--you will have to look about a good deal,
+because you will have enemies.
+
+[Illustration: _He dreams of other worlds to conquer._]
+
+Tom Tomb--that was not his name, but it was the way he signed other
+people's cheques, and your father and mother will tell you that this is
+a very mean trick--lived partly on an island, and partly on board the
+_Inky Murk_.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+You will understand that I mean not with one foot on the island and one
+on the boat, but sometimes on one and sometimes on the other.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Now T. T. never robbed the poor.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Because it was not worth his while.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+But any person who looked rich suffered accordingly.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+The _Inky Murk_ was the name of his boat. You can make one curiously
+like it with two chairs and a rug.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+One day Tomb captured a young fellow--a very handsome lad too.
+
+It was off a certain island where Tom Tomb had a neat cottage, in the
+garden of which he grew flowers for a pastime.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Because, of course, he needed a little time to himself in between his
+tremendous fights.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+The young fellow was stealing flowers.
+
+He was surprised to see Captain Tomb.
+
+When I say he was surprised, you will see what I mean by the picture.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+"What cinderadustmat do you mean," yelled Tomb, in a voice like a
+railway accident, "by stealing my flowers?"
+
+"I thought they were wild," said the young fellow, taking his pipe from
+his mouth.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+"Wild!" shrieked Tomb. "Wild!!" he bawled.
+
+This last yell was so powerful that three of his buttons flew off his
+coat.
+
+The young fellow caught them neatly in his left hand, and presented them
+to the Captain on bended knee.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+The neat act saved the lad's life.
+
+"An honour to serve you, Captain Thomas Tomb," said he.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+"You know me?" asked Tomb, smiling upon the boy.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+"I thought it must be your face," said the lad boldly.
+
+He was about to speak again, had not Tomb silenced him with a gesture.
+He liked the lad.
+
+Had he spoken again, Tomb would have silenced him for ever.
+
+He was about to say that any other man with a face like that would have
+died long ago, from wounded vanity.
+
+[Illustration: From a very rare old print.]
+
+"Would you care to be a Pirate, my youthful fellow?" said Tomb.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+The lad hesitated. "My father . . ." he began.
+
+"Dead," said Tomb, in a hollow voice.
+
+"My mother . . ."
+
+"Dead," Tomb replied, in a monotonous whisper.
+
+"My brother and sister . . ."
+
+Tomb raised a sorrowful hand: his heart was touched.
+
+"My family . . ." said the young man in despair.
+
+"My poor boy," said Tomb, with tears in his eyes, "my poor, dear fellow,
+I killed them all not an hour ago."
+
+[Illustration]
+
+"Then my sweetheart would object to my becoming a Pirate," said the lad,
+weeping.
+
+"Enough," said Tomb; "you are called from henceforth Dingy David. Now to
+sea!"
+
+[Illustration]
+
+For ten years they plundered upon the Spanish Main, until they acquired
+so much money that Bilge Island, Tomb's business address, smelt of
+hoarded gold, and the beach glittered with jewels.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Then both Tomb and David--I am keeping the secret of his real name to
+the end--became tired of so much adventure.
+
+They had sailed in many seas: the Spanish Main--commonly known as the
+Dining-room Carpetwaters--the Kitchen Archipelago, the Drawing-room
+Inland Sea, the Creek of Conservatory, and the Lake of Passages. They
+had roamed the Wilderness of the High Street, the terrors of the Gardens
+they knew, and the Gulf of Front Hall was common water.
+
+So they retired for a breathing space and a wash to that Island where
+the neat cottage stood and the geraniums grew.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+They moored the _Inky Murk_ to a low-growing pom-pom tree, and then,
+stepping carefully, like those unaccustomed to dry land (or wet land
+either, for the matter of that), they gazed upon each other in silence.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+No one, not even the most careful observer, would have recognised in the
+two dusty figures, the once spruce forms of Captain Thomas Tomb and
+Dingy David.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+"Home!" said the young fellow, throwing a diamond at a wave-crest. (When
+I say "diamond"--they were always finding them in corners of their
+pockets.)
+
+"Home once more!"
+
+"Cinderadustmat!" exclaimed Tomb. "Let me hear you, oh! let me hear you
+say the word again!"
+
+"Home," said the young fellow, gazing at the ripe ockapillies hanging
+overhead.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Mastering his ill-concealed emotion, T. T. rose and strode--(when I say
+strode--T. T. never walked: he strolled, strutted, strode, or stepped,
+invariably)--towards the house.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Threw open the door!! xxxxxx! o! z! What a sight met his eyes!!
+
+Dust, dust, dust--everywhere.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Dust met his eye. (When I say that, I mean that he saw dust--over all
+the simple cottage furniture he loved.)
+
+He groaned three times.
+
+The young man, who was idly chewing the stone of a cringet, turned and
+saw, through the open door, dust, dust, dust.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Leaping to his feet, he rushed to the Captain's side.
+
+"Captain," said he, "we must have a Charwoman."
+
+(I say charwoman, meaning a woman who is paid to do work that other
+servants are hired to do, but will not.)
+
+[Illustration]
+
+In less time than it takes to skin an acquadatoric, Dingy David was in
+the rowing-boat making for the shore of the mainland.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Sixty-eight hours of hard rowing, without a rest, brought the strong
+young fellow to the coast.
+
+It was night.
+
+[Illustration: Pause--excited reader.]
+
+A light burned in the window of the lonely cottage that stood upon the
+shore.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+It was the work of a moment for Dingy David to seize upon the beautiful
+maiden who was writing jam labels, by the light of a solitary candle.
+
+Such are the lives of the humble.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Without a glance at her face, he carried her at breakneck speed to the
+boat--pushed off, and rowed like Hercules for the island.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Exactly one hundred and thirty-six hours--which is five days sixteen
+hours from the time he started--David brought the captive beauty and
+laid her, senseless with fatigue, at the feet of Tom Tomb.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+"What have we here?" asked Tomb, pronouncing the H very clearly.
+
+"A charwoman, sire," responded David; and, smiling, the lad fell
+asleep.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+When he awoke the sun was shining and the day was warm.
+
+One glance showed him that the cottage was a model of cleanliness.
+
+(Pirates are sharp glancers.)
+
+[Illustration]
+
+A smell of breakfast smote his nostrils pleasantly.
+
+It was the work of a moment to dash into the house, wash, shave,
+and--there, upon a snowy bed, were laid the very clothes in which--long
+years ago--he had been captured.
+
+In another moment he was in them and dashing downstairs, doing up the
+buttons as he went.
+
+He flung himself, panting, into the breakfast-room.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+The glorious girl looked up from her bacon with a cry.
+
+Tomb started to his feet.
+
+The young man opened his mouth.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+"Ermyntrude!" he called.
+
+"Wencheslaus!" she exclaimed.
+
+For once Tomb's cool courage failed him.--He started back.
+
+The sweethearts were in each other's arms.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+"Listen," said Tomb, when he regained his breath; and they, gazing into
+each other's eyes, listened.
+
+"Gaze elsewhere," said Tomb, "and I will unfold a tale."
+
+In the heat of the moment he put his sleeve into the butter.
+
+Ermyntrude sprang to his assistance. Tomb enfolded her in his embrace.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+"This lady is my daughter," he said, turning to Wencheslaus, who stood
+amazed.
+
+"I will not bother you with the story," said Tomb, "but five and forty
+years ago I wooed and wed her lovely mother. Twenty-one years ago to-day
+Ermyntrude was born, and her mother, after lingering two years, died.
+Leaving the girl in the care of an honest fishwife (when I say honest, I
+mean, as honest as her profession allowed), I roamed the seas as a
+Pirate: sorrow made me merciless. Then, when I wished to return to my
+daughter, I found that I had lost her address."
+
+"Father!" said Ermyntrude.
+
+"My daughter," he exclaimed, "I am a careless man!"
+
+"And I?" said Wencheslaus--"what is the secret of my birth?"
+
+Going up to him, Tomb, with one superb movement, bared the youth's arm.
+Upon it was tattooed, in gold and purple, the crest of a noble family.
+
+"As I thought!" exclaimed Tomb; then he removed his hat. "Lord
+Wencheslaus of When-cheeselawn!"
+
+"Then my father _was_ . . ." the youth began.
+
+"The Duke of Thingamaroo," said Tomb, bowing low.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+A cry sounded from the cellars of the cottage.
+
+Tomb again started.
+
+"I had forgotten," said he. Then he put his hand into his pocket, and
+drew forth this very book.
+
+"Ten years ago," said he, consulting his notes, "I told you that I had
+killed your family. It was not true."
+
+"Not true?" said Lord Wencheslaus--for so we must now call him.
+
+"Not strictly accurate," Tomb replied. "I immured them in these cellars,
+with ten years' provisions."
+
+With a noble gesture, he flung the key of the cellars upon the table.
+
+"Release them, my Lord," he said.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+We draw a veil over the rapturous meeting.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+When the boat was loaded with the noble family, Lord Wencheslaus
+(erstwhile Dingy David) and Ermyntrude Tomb stood hand in hand in front
+of Captain Thomas Tomb.
+
+"You must often come and see us, father," she said.
+
+"My little Ermyntrude," he said, "you can bet your back hair your poor
+old father will often come."
+
+Lord W. wrung Tomb's hand: his emotion was too great for words.
+
+They stepped into the boat and sailed away.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+As they touched the mainland they started.
+
+Boom! boom!! came the sound of guns across the water.
+
+Tom Tomb was at his old game.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+PRINTED BY NEILL AND COMPANY, LIMITED, EDINBURGH.
+
+
+
+***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PIRATE'S POCKET BOOK***
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