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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Phenomenal Fauna, by Carolyn Wells
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: A Phenomenal Fauna
+
+Author: Carolyn Wells
+
+Illustrator: Oliver Herford
+
+Release Date: February 23, 2008 [EBook #24673]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A PHENOMENAL FAUNA ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Geetu Melwani and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was
+produced from images generously made available by The
+Internet Archive/American Libraries.)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+A PHENOMENAL FAUNA
+
+BY
+
+CAROLYN WELLS
+
+
+WITH PICTURES
+BY
+OLIVER HEREFORD
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+Copyright, 1901, 1902
+By LIFE PUBLISHING COMPANY
+_New York_
+
+
+By ROBERT HOWARD RUSSELL
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+To My Godfather
+WILLIAM F. CLARKE
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE REG'LAR LARK
+
+
+The Reg'lar Lark's a very gay old Bird;
+At sunrise often may his voice be heard
+As jauntily he wends his homeward way,
+And trills a fresh and merry roundelay.
+And some old, wise philosopher has said:
+Rise with a lark, and with a lark to bed.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE HUMBUG
+
+
+Although a learned Entomologist
+May doubt if Humbugs really do exist,
+Yet each of us, I'm sure, can truly say
+We've seen a number of them in our day.
+But are they real?--well, a mind judicial
+Perhaps would call them false and artificial.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE POPPYCOCK
+
+
+The Poppycock's a fowl of English breed,
+And therefore many think him fine indeed.
+Credulous people's ears he would regale,
+And so he crows aloud and spreads his tale.
+But he is stuffed with vain and worthless words;
+Fine feathers do not always make fine birds.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE HAYCOCK
+
+
+The Haycock cannot crow; he has no brains,
+No,--not enough to go in when it rains.
+He is not gamy,--fighting's not his forte,
+A Haycock fight is just no sort of sport.
+Down in the meadow all day long he'll bide,
+(That is a little hay-hen by his side.)
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE POWDER MONKEY
+
+
+A Theory, by scientists defended,
+Declares that we from monkeys are descended.
+This being thus, we therefore clearly see
+The Powder-Monkey heads some pedigree.
+Ah, yes,--from him descend by evolution,
+The Dames and Daughters of the Revolution.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE TREE CALF
+
+
+The sportive Tree Calf here we see,
+He builds his nest up in a tree;
+To this strange dwelling-place he cleaves
+Because he is so fond of leaves.
+'Twas his ancestral cow, I trow,
+Jumped o'er the moon, so long ago.
+But he is not so great a rover,
+Though at the last he runs to cover.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE MILITARY FROG
+
+
+The Military Frog, as well you know,
+Is the famed one who would a-wooing go.
+And on the soldier's manly breast displayed,
+He wins the heart of every blushing maid.
+But, as a frog, I think he's incomplete,
+He has no good hind legs that we may eat.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE FEATHER BOA
+
+
+This animal of which I speak
+Is a most curious sort of freak.
+Though Serpent would its form describe,
+Yet it is of the feathered tribe.
+And 'tis the snake, I do believe,
+That tempted poor old Mother Eve,
+For never woman did exist
+Who could its subtle charm resist.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE BRICK BAT
+
+
+Oft through the stillness of the summer night
+We see the Brick Bat take his rapid flight.
+And, with unerring aim, descending straight,
+He meets a cat on the back garden gate.
+The little Brick Bat could not fly alone,--
+Oh, no; there is a power behind the thrown.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE CAT O' NINE TAILS
+
+
+The Cat O' Nine Tails is not very nice,--
+No good at all at catching rats and mice;
+She eats no fish, though living on the sea,
+And no one's friend or pet she seems to be.
+Yet oft she makes it lively for poor Jack,--
+Curls round his legs, and jumps upon his back.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE ROUND ROBIN
+
+
+Here's the Round Robin, round as any ball;
+You scarce can see his head or tail at all.
+He's not a carrier-pigeon, though he brings
+Important messages beneath his wings.
+And 'tis this freak of ornithology
+They mean who say, "A little bird told me."
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE IRON SPIDER
+
+
+The Iron Spider is an insect strange,
+He loves to stand upon a red-hot range.
+Unlike his race, he's not an octoped,
+He has but three legs and he has no head.
+Had this but been the kind Miss Muffet saw
+'Twould not have filled the maiden with such awe.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE BOOKWORM
+
+
+The Bookworm's an uninteresting grub,
+Whether he's all alone or in a club.
+Of stupid books which seem to us a bore,
+The Bookworm will devour the very core.
+Did Solomon or somebody affirm
+The early reed-bird catches the bookworm?
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE BLACK SHEEP
+
+
+The Black Sheep is a beast all men should shun--
+He has no fleece yet fleeces every one;
+Though without horns, oft with a horn he's seen;
+Though not a lamb, he gambles on the green.
+Perhaps he's not a sheep, as some suggest,
+But a grim wolf who's in sheep's clothing dressed.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+TIME FLIES
+
+
+Time Flies are well-known insects; sages claim
+That Tempus Fugit is their rightful name.
+When we're on idleness or pleasure bent,
+They sting our conscience and our fun prevent.
+We hear them winter mornings ere we rise,
+And oft in fly-time we observe Time Flies.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE APPLE BEE
+
+
+In country villages is found
+The Apple Bee with buzzing sound.
+And when our ears it does regale
+We find a sting is in its tale.
+As to its food,--the Apple Bee
+Is fond of doughnuts, cheese and tea.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE WELSH RABBIT
+
+
+See the Welsh Rabbit--he is bred on cheese;
+(Or cheese on bread, whichever way you please.)
+Although he's tough, he looks so mild, who'd think
+That a strong man from this small beast would shrink?
+But close behind him follows the nightmare,
+Beware of them, they are a frightful pair.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE CRICKET BAT
+
+
+The Cricket Bat is very often seen
+Flying perchance around the village green;
+But unlike many other bats, its flight
+Is always made by day and not by night.
+There may be one exception though,--and that
+Is when it's aimed at some stray neighboring Cat.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE COMMON SWALLOW
+
+
+The Common Swallow is so swift of flight,
+We scarcely see him ere he's out of sight.
+One does not make a summer, it is true,
+But many of them cause a fall or two.
+The Swallow's strong when he is in his prime,
+And yet a man can down him every time.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE TOMAHAWK
+
+
+The Tomahawk's a fearsome bird, we deem;
+Though feathered tribes hold him in great esteem;
+A bird of prey, he whizzes through the air,
+And clutches his pale victim by the hair.
+Gory and grewsome,--he is the mainstay
+Of the historic novel of to-day.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE JAIL-BIRD
+
+
+This is a Jail-bird. Isn't it a shame
+To keep him in a cage and try to tame
+His wild desires for freedom? See him droop
+Behind his bars. He wants to fly the coop.
+But to beguile his tedious, lonely hours
+Kind ladies bring him nosegays of bright flowers.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE ROYAL SEAL
+
+
+This noble beast's impressive form is seen
+'Mong the possessions of a king or queen.
+Hard-favored, yet so valuable is he,
+He's ever kept beneath a lock and key.
+And, since his temper can't find vent in speech,
+He stamps and punches everything in reach.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+THE FIRE DOGS
+
+
+Here are two Fire Dogs--they are queer, indeed;
+They seem to come of a three-legged breed.
+They have no tails, their bark is on their back;
+They hunt in couples, never in a pack.
+The day's work over, 'tis a pleasant sight
+To find them waiting by the fire at night.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE MACKEREL KIT
+
+
+This funny little Mackerel Kit
+Is not like other cats a bit;
+She cannot mew or scratch or purr,
+She has no whiskers and no fur.
+Yet, like all cats, her dearest wish
+Is just to be filled up with fish;
+But (and this isn't so feline)
+She always takes them steeped in brine.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+GOLF LYNX
+
+
+This is the merry Golf Lynx, as you see;
+An amiable beast, and fond of tee.
+Indigenous to all the country round,
+His snaky length lies prone along the ground.
+It is the fashion o'er this beast to rave,
+But have a care, lest you become his slave.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE TRAVELING CRANE
+
+
+The Traveling Crane's a bird, of course,
+Yet he possesses wondrous force.
+A bird of burden he must be,
+He lifts and pulls so mightily.
+And sometimes he will grasp his prey,
+And with it rise and soar away.
+His plumage is not fine, but then,
+He's of the greatest use to men.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE FLYING BUTTRESS
+
+
+The Flying Buttress, every day and night,
+Continues in his long, unwearied flight.
+He's not a song-bird, but he's said to be
+Famed for his beauty and his Symmetry.
+He frequents an old abbey or a manse;
+The ostrich eats him if he gets a chance.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE SEA PUSS
+
+
+In ocean waters the Sea Puss is found,
+Cat-like, forever chasing round and round.
+She has no claws, but crouching sly and low
+She stealthily puts out her undertow.
+And when an old seadog comes in her way
+I'll warrant you there is the deuce to pay!
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE BATTERING RAM
+
+
+This is the Battering Ram, a fearful beast,
+I think he weighs a thousand tons at least.
+Stronger than any other kind of butter,
+He goes his way calmly, without a flutter.
+Big as an elephant, bigger than a horse,
+He seems the best example of brute force.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE SPRING CHICKEN
+
+
+Here's the Spring Chicken. I have heard
+They manufacture this queer bird
+From bits of leather and of strings
+All joined and worked by tiny springs.
+Whenever this fine fowl is broiled,
+Each of his springs should be well oiled,
+Or he may spring across the room
+And plunge his carver into gloom.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE SHUTTLECOCK
+
+
+The Shuttlecock's a handsome fowl to see,
+His feathers grow straight upward like a tree.
+He cannot crow, but oftentimes his flight
+Will reach up to a most astounding height.
+He is a gamecock, and, in fighting trim,
+There are not many birds that equal him.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE SAW-BUCK
+
+
+The Saw-Buck is a fearsome beast.
+The tramp objects to it, at least.
+When to the housewife he applies
+For coffee or for apple-pies,
+Right speedily he'll turn and leave her
+When he is seized with Saw-Buck Fever.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE PIGEON TOAD
+
+
+The Pigeon Toad's a funny little beast,
+He's found in every land from West to East.
+The children bring him in, to our amaze,
+And though we try to turn him out, he stays.
+He's never seen with soldiers, nor with fops,
+But with the schoolboys how he jumps and hops.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE GOLDEN BUCK
+
+
+Perhaps because it's easily approached,
+The Golden Buck's a game that's often poached.
+'Tis sometimes mild, again 'tis strong and hearty,
+It may be found at many a gay stag-party.
+No branching antlers this strange beast adorn,
+But with the Golden Buck we take a horn.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE BUMBLE PUPPY
+
+
+This is the Bumblepuppy. He's quite tame,
+Although he's said to be a sort of game.
+You scorn him, yet you must--ah, there's the rub--
+Accept him at your table or your club.
+He has his points, yet he's a pest, indeed;
+I would we could exterminate the breed.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE WATCH DOG
+
+
+This useful animal we keep
+To guard our treasure while we sleep.
+A pointer, not a setter, yet
+He's of no use unless he's set.
+Gaze on his open, honest face,--
+There's no deception in his case.
+He is attached to us, 'tis plain,
+Though often by a slender chain.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE GOLD EAGLE
+
+
+Here's the Gold Eagle. Very rare. They say
+This bird is worth ten dollars any day.
+He has no wings, apparently, yet I
+Or you, or anyone can make him fly.
+He's very powerful--held in great esteem;
+And money talks, so let the eagle scream.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE BUGBEAR
+
+
+Of all the fearsome beasts beneath the sun
+The Bugbear is the most appalling one.
+At night he comes and hovers o'er our bed,
+Filling us with a nameless fear and dread.
+He is not half so terrible by day--
+Sometimes he shrinks and dwindles quite away.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE IRISH BULL
+
+
+Among the stock jokes it is oft averred
+The Irish Bull is best of all the heard.
+He has no points, he has no head or tail,
+But many a jovial party he'll regale.
+And all his hearers will with laughter choke,
+Except his brother John, who sees no joke.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE JAY
+
+
+'Tis very strange, and yet, upon my word,
+This silly fellow thinks he is a bird!
+He lives on hayseed,--everywhere he's found,
+But in the country he does most abound.
+And at the approach of winter, (more's the pity),
+A flock of jays will migrate to the city.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+FOREBEARS
+
+
+Misled by certain signs of form and shape,
+Some think we are descended from the ape.
+But recent science now the truth declares
+The human race descended from Forebears.
+And since we're so inclined to war, I'll wager
+One of our Forebears was the Ursa Major.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE HIGH HORSE
+
+
+The High Horse often takes a foremost place
+Among the winners of the human race.
+They say one needs both brawn and brain to ride him,
+And even then 'tis very hard to guide him.
+His jockeys gaily prance and boldly scoff,
+But soon or late they're sure to tumble off.
+
+
+The End.
+
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Books By
+
+CAROLYN WELLS
+
+Children of Our Town
+Abeniki Caldwell
+The Merry-Go-Round
+A Phenomenal Fauna
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Phenomenal Fauna, by Carolyn Wells
+
+*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A PHENOMENAL FAUNA ***
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