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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/24495-8.txt b/24495-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e7437b8 --- /dev/null +++ b/24495-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1144 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Golden Judge, by Nathaniel Gordon + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Golden Judge + +Author: Nathaniel Gordon + +Illustrator: Freas + +Release Date: February 2, 2008 [EBook #24495] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GOLDEN JUDGE *** + + + + +Produced by Greg Weeks and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + + + +-------------------------------------------------------+ + |This etext was produced from Astounding Science Fiction| + |December 1955. Extensive research did not uncover any | + |evidence that the U.S. copyright on this publication | + | was renewed. | + +-------------------------------------------------------+ + + + + +THE GOLDEN JUDGE + +[Illustration] + +_A suggestion and a highly intriguing one--on how to settle the problems +that involve face-saving among nations!_ + +BY NATHANIEL GORDON + +Illustrated by Freas + + +_UNITED NATIONS, N.Y., June 16, 1981--(AP)--In one of +the most impressive ceremonies ever held in the United Nations building, +the world celebrated today the 25th anniversary of the discovery of the +"Golden Judge."_ + +_General Terence P. O'Reilly, USA (Retired), the man responsible for the +discovery, was the principal guest of honor. Obviously moved by the +acclaim from virtually every member nation, Gen. O'Reilly made a brief +speech recapturing for a moment the accidental circumstances of 25 years +ago that so drastically reduced world tensions...._ + + * * * * * + +It was stifling hot in Jerusalem in the afternoon of June 16, 1956, and +Major General Terence Patrick O'Reilly, United States Army, was rather +more bored than usual. His Army career had gone well--two stars already +at forty-five--until the mysterious workings of the Pentagon had given +him perhaps the most frustrating posting a soldier could have. + +He was chairman of the mixed United Nations armistice commission trying +to keep the uneasy peace between Israel and her Arab neighbors. For +months he had presided over unending investigations of border incidents, +some petty, some not so petty. He had signed reports reprimanding and +recommending and approving, but nothing ever came of them, and he no +longer expected anything ever would. + +Today's hearing was different, and not strictly in his field. But +because he was an engineer, and because both Arabs and Israelis trusted +him, he had agreed to listen to their opposing arguments on using the +waters of the River Jordan. + +Too many years ago, the United States had offered to provide most of the +funds for a "little TVA" on the river, benefitting both Israel and +Jordan alike. At first, both had refused outright to have anything to do +with the other. But over the years, skillful negotiating by Eric +Johnston, the American President's personal envoy, had brought Israel +and Jordan closer and closer together--until now they agreed on the +disposal of ninety per cent of the water. + +But farther than this they would not go. For months, years, they balked +on the remaining ten per cent, and the dams remained only blueprints. + +Terence O'Reilly was sick unto death of the arguments, and thought +everyone else was, too. He had heard them over and over; he knew them by +heart. He knew they were evenly balanced, with justice on both sides. He +knew both nations longed for a settlement, but he knew neither would +back down, for reasons of "face." Worst of all, he knew that any +decision of his was meaningless. It was purely advisory, and he knew all +too well what "advisory" opinions counted for out here. + +Yet he tried to look interested as the delegate from Jordan wearily +produced an argument that every man in the conference room could recite +word for word. + +In a brief lull, General O'Reilly groaned: "Why don't they toss a coin +for it?" + +It was not as _sotto voce_ as he meant. + +The Arab delegate stared at him. "I beg your pardon!" + +Flushing, General O'Reilly apologized, but the Arab was already talking +excitedly to his fellow delegates. Puzzled, O'Reilly heard a confused +babble of Arabic, then sudden silence. + +The Arab delegate had a glint in his eye as he asked for the floor. + +"In the name of my country," he said proudly, "we agree!" + +The word "agree" had not been heard in this chamber for many months, and +General O'Reilly wondered if he had heard aright. "Agree?" he stared. +"Agree to what?" + +"To toss a coin for it, as the chairman has proposed," the Arab said. +"That is, it the Israeli delegation has the courage, the sportsmanship +to agree." He looked tauntingly to his rivals across the room. + +The Israeli leader sprang to his feet, indignant. "I protest, Mr. +Chairman, to this frivolous treatment of a serious matter, which will +affect the future of--" + +He felt silent, aware of the contemptuous smiles on the faces of the +Arabs. + +General O'Reilly kept his countenance. He said mildly: "Of course, if +you are not willing to risk the luck of--" + +"We are afraid of nothing, sir!" the Israeli snapped. "We are as +sporting as anyone else, but--" One of his fellow delegates whispered +something to him. Then the whole Israeli delegation talked in low +voices. Finally the leader rose again. "Will you permit me to telephone +my minister?" + +Gravely the general recessed the meeting for thirty minutes. In his own +room, he stared at himself in the mirror, still dazed. + +"My God!" he breathed. "They can't be taking it seriously!" + +But why not? If the arguments were so evenly balanced that not even +Solomon could have chosen, if they really wanted a settlement, if they +could never give in without losing "face"--why, what better method than +to trust it to the fall of a coin? Still--things just didn't happen that +way. + +When the thirty minute recess ended, the Israeli delegate arose. He +glared across the room and announced defiantly: "My government also +agrees! Let the coin decide!" + +The conference broke into clamor, but General O'Reilly had long since +learned the value of prudence in Jerusalem. "The chairman agrees," he +said judicially, "that in the circumstances, this is perhaps an +excellent solution, perhaps the only solution. But this has been, to say +the least, somewhat impulsive. Let me suggest both sides return to their +governments and consider this well. Then, if you are both still +willing, let us meet here one week from today, in this room--and the +coin will decide!" + + * * * * * + +He had expected second thoughts, and he was not disappointed. Extremists +on both sides of the Jordan screamed with indignation. Yet, oddly, most +people seemed strangely excited, even pleased by the sporting +proposition. They began to lay bets on the outcome. + +And both governments held firm. Probably, the general speculated, +because they both wanted a solution--and there was no other solution in +sight. Also, each hated to be the first to back down from a fair bet. It +became a matter of honor. + +On the week end, General O'Reilly flew to Cairo to meet some friends +passing through on a world tour. Like all tourists, they went to the +Mouski, Cairo's great bazaar, and it was there, in the Street of the +Goldsmiths, that the general got his idea. + +It cost him a chunk of money, out of his own pocket, but like most +Irishmen, he was a sporting man himself. After all, he grinned to +himself, I started the whole business, and I might as well do it up in +style. + +He had decided that no ordinary coin would do for such an historic +occasion. So he had a goldsmith make him a heavy solid-gold medallion +almost twice as big as a twenty-dollar gold piece. He was not very much +pleased with the design he sketched out hastily, but on the spur of the +moment, he could think of nothing better. + +The "Heads" side of the great coin bore a _front_ view of the blind +goddess of justice, with her scales. The "Tails" side had a _rear_ view +of the same lady. + +It was rather crudely done, but time was short. "It'll have to do," the +general chuckled, as the plane bore him back to Jerusalem. + + * * * * * + +When the appointed day came, the United Nations conference room in +Jerusalem was jammed with Israeli and Arab officials, and with a pack of +correspondents who had magically appeared. + +General O'Reilly had decided against asking each side to put its +agreement into writing. A true gentleman's agreement shouldn't be +written, he concluded. He merely asked the leaders for each side if they +agreed to abide by the fall of the coin. Solemnly, both assented. + +Courteously, the Israelis had allowed the Arabs to call while the coin +was still in the air. There was silence as General O'Reilly flipped it +high up towards the ceiling. + +"Tails!" cried the Arab leader. + +The spinning coin glittered, falling onto the green baize table. The +general looked at it. The goddess had her back turned. + +"It is tails," he announced, and the Arab delegation broke into happy +shouts. + +And, astonishingly, that was that. The leading Tel-Aviv newspaper summed +up Israeli feeling when it wrote in an editorial: "Certainly there were +many heavy hearts in our country when the coin fell against us. But let +us show the world that we are true sportsmen. We risked, and we lost. +Let this be the end of it." + +Work began on the dams at last, without interference or protest. Not a +word was ever written on paper, but it was the only agreement between +the two countries that was scrupulously kept by both sides. + +It was, of course, a wonderful story. The name of Terence O'Reilly swam +suddenly into the headlines, and his wife began keeping a scrapbook of +all the clippings. One among them was destined to be more potent in +world affairs than all the rest. It was a "profile" of General O'Reilly +published in a great American magazine, and it was notable for two +things. + +To begin with, it was the author of this profile who first gave the coin +the name by which it soon became so famous--the "Golden Judge." + +But it also contained a casual, seemingly insignificant remark by +General O'Reilly. When the interviewer had asked how he happened to +think of the coin-tossing idea, the general had grinned. "Why not?" he +said. "Aren't the Irish the gamblingest people on earth?" + +And it was this innocent sentence, hardly noticed at the time, that +started the "Golden Judge" on its fantastic career, and kept it from +being a mere nine-day wonder. + +For a Chinese Communist diplomat in Berne, Switzerland, happened to see +it and, one night at a dinner party, he said mockingly: "This stupid +American general in Jerusalem is obviously ignorant of the world. +Otherwise, he would realize that no nation on earth loves gambling so +much as the Chinese. Anyone who knows the Orient will tell you this." + +This made good cocktail party talk, a thing desperately needed in Berne, +and eventually reached the ears of an Associated Press correspondent. He +filed a paragraph on it for a box story and, in the inevitable way of +the press, a reporter in Jerusalem asked General O'Reilly for his +comment. + +"Well," he said, "I've heard the Chinese are great gamblers indeed, +although whether more so than the Irish I beg leave to doubt." + +Then his eyes twinkled. "Why don't they prove it? Why don't they toss a +coin, say, for Quemoy and Matsu? The danged little places aren't worth a +nickel to either side, and well they both know it. But they'll neither +of them back down a hair, for losing face. I say, if they think they're +the greatest gamblers on earth, let 'em prove it!" + +This sped into print, caused a world-wide stir, and brought General +O'Reilly a sizzling reprimand from the Department of the Army. He was +not REPEAT NOT to express opinions about the value of allied territory. + +He read the reprimand ruefully, reminded himself that another great +Irish failing was too much talk--and said good-by to any hopes for a +third star. + + * * * * * + +But this was before the black headlines from Formosa. With popping eyes, +General O'Reilly read that the Chinese Nationalist Foreign Minister had +taken up the challenge. He offered to toss a coin with the Chinese +Communists for Quemoy and Matsu! + +"I'll be jiggered!" the general breathed. "They'll fight about +everything else, but be damned if they'll admit the Irish are bigger +gamblers than the Chinese! Now let's see what the Commies say." + +Peking was silent for two weeks. Then, in a broadcast from Radio Peking, +Chou En-Lai made his reply. + +He agreed--but with conditions. He insisted on a neutral commission to +supervise the toss, half Communist members, half non-Communist. World +observers, weary of neutral commissions that never achieved anything, +interpreted this as a delaying tactic and agreed the whole thing would +fall through. + +"This is further proof," the Nationalist Foreign Minister commented with +icy scorn, "that the Communists are no longer real Chinese. For any +Chinese worthy of the name would not be afraid to risk the fall of the +coin." + +But Marx had not quite liquidated the gambling fever that runs strong in +the blood of any Chinese, be he ever so Communist. + +Stung, Chou En-Lai retorted: "We agree! Let the coin decide!" + +It was agreed that Prime Minister Nehru of India, as a neutral, should +supervise the matter, and that New Delhi would be the scene of the +actual tossing. And Nehru thought it fitting to invite General O'Reilly, +as the father of the whole thing, to bring the same "Golden Judge" to +India, to be used again. + +The general came gladly, but declined to make the toss himself. "My +country is too closely involved in this matter," he explained, "and +there might be talk if an American made the toss." + +He suggested Nehru himself do it, and the Prime Minister agreed. + +The actual tossing was done in the great governmental palace, and +Communist China won. Chiang Kai Shek's delegate bowed impassively and +said coolly that his government yielded without question to the goddess +of chance. + +That night the Indian Prime Minister was host to a glittering official +banquet to celebrate the ending of the "offshore island" crisis. + +"And we must lift our glasses," he said eloquently after dinner, "to the +man who discovered this eminently sane method of settling quarrels--a +method so sensible, so fair that it is difficult to believe that in all +the world's long search for peace, it has not been discovered before. I +give you General O'Reilly!" + +The general rose to loud applause. He expressed his thanks modestly, and +disclaimed any merit except that of pure luck. Then he held up the +"Golden Judge" itself, with a gleam in his eye. + +"I hope," he said, "that this coin will have still more work to do. +Surely there are still disputed places in the world, where justice lies +on both sides, where only 'face-saving' prevents a settlement. And +surely it is better to resort to this coin than to force and war and +bitter arguments that drag on year after year." + +"Hear! Hear!" Nehru cried, leading the applause. General O'Reilly stood +smiling until it died away. + +"Places like Kashmir," he said clearly. + +There was a gasp of laughter, quickly hushed. Nehru's face was pale with +anger; he was famous for his temper. And everyone knew how India and +Pakistan had quarreled for years over Kashmir, and that all the efforts +of the United Nations had come to nothing so far. + +"I was delighted to hear Prime Minister Nehru say," General O'Reilly +went on calmly, "how much he approved this method of settling old +disputes. And I should be very glad to help--with this." Smiling, he +tossed the Golden Judge in the air and caught it again. + +Nehru could keep silent no longer. Like a skilled Oriental debater, he +struck back indirectly. "We thank General O'Reilly," he said acidly, +"for his kind offer, but perhaps it should be first used by his own +people, the Irish, of whose gambling prowess he is so proud. Surely no +bitterness has lasted longer than that between the Republic of Ireland +and the 'Six Lost Counties' of Northern Ireland. Let the Irish use the +Golden Judge themselves before they counsel it for others!" + +But General O'Reilly was unruffled. "I'm an American, myself," he said, +smiling, "although proud indeed of my Irish blood. And the _Irish_ Irish +will have to speak for themselves, although I venture to say you'll find +them a sporting people indeed. But that's not quite the point, is it? +'Twas you yourself, sir, who praised the Golden Judge so highly. And +you've seen today what fine sportsmen the Chinese are. The point is, are +the _Indians_ a sporting people?" + +"Of course we're a sporting people!" Nehru glared. + +"Then I take it you'd be willing, assuming Pakistan agrees, of course, +but I'm told they're a _very_ sporting people, to--" The general tossed +the coin again, absent-mindedly. + +"All right!" Nehru grated. "If they agree, so do we!" + + * * * * * + +It took a month before Pakistan could agree, and all the arrangements be +made for the Toss on Kashmir. But in that month, the world had other +things to think about. Chiang Kai Shek accepted his gambling loss +without a murmur and removed his troops from Quemoy and Matsu, the +American Seventh Fleet helping, the Communists not interfering. All +civilians on the islands who wished to go to Formosa were taken there. + +Washington said little officially, but in the corridors of the +Pentagon, Congress and the White House, the sighs of relief reached gale +force. General O'Reilly received a confidential and personal message +from the Army Chief of Staff that made him pink with pleasure. + +"May get that third star after all," he told his wife that night. "And +not too long to wait, maybe." + +But, above all, the month was filled with clamor from Ireland. Her +Majesty's Government in Whitehall had immediately issued a communiqué +which took a glacial view of the "puerile" proposal to toss for Northern +Ireland. It was the timing of this communiqué, rather than its contents, +that proved a tactical error. It had come too quickly, and Irishmen, +both north and south, resented it. + +As a Belfast newspaper wrote tartly: "Irishmen on both sides of the line +are quite able to decide such matters for themselves, without the +motherly interference of London." + +Dublin agreed in principle to toss, but the wrangling over conditions +and exceptions boiled up into the greatest inter-Irish quarreling of +twenty years. It was still raging when General O'Reilly flew into the +Vale of Kashmir with a broad smile and the Golden Judge. + +Again the great coin glittered high in the air while none other than +Nehru himself called out, tensely: "Heads!" + +It fell "Tails." + +"So be it!" Nehru said calmly, shaking hands with the Governor-General +of Pakistan. + +"Well, general," Nehru said, turning to O'Reilly with a smile, "are you +satisfied now? I think we've proved we're a sporting people. So have the +Chinese, and the Jews and the Arabs. But what about your own folk, the +Irish? From what I read, their sporting qualities seem to be highly +overrated. I'd say they'd never gamble but on a sure thing." + +The general's face went red at the insult, and so, a day later, did the +collective face of all Irishmen, North and South. For a while there was +aghast silence from the Emerald Isle, a silence sullen and embarrassed. +And then a great rumbling roar of indignation. + +"Mr. Speaker!" cried a member of the Dail in Dublin. "Are the Irish +people, who honor great gamblers only a little less than great poets, +to be outdone by dark-skinned heathen? Mr. Speaker, I say _no_!" + +The following morning, the government of Eire formally offered to toss +for the Six Lost Counties and, if the coin fell contrary, to say no more +about them forever. Belfast agreed that same afternoon, and the whole +island went wild with excitement. Hardly any Irishman failed to place +some kind of side bet on the outcome, and stakes were laid that day that +would be spoken of with prideful awe for generations to come. + +The remark of a Limerick drayman was widely quoted. "There's not a man +of us here," he commented in the course of a game of darts at the Sword +and Shamrock, "but would toss a coin for his grandmother's head, and +well ye know it. So after all the blatherin' and yowrin', why not have a +go for the Six Counties, and let the coin decide it now and foriver, +once and for all, win or lose?" + +The British Government surrendered with grace, and offered to play host +to the toss in London, as a neutral place. They soon learned, with +burning ears, that the last place on earth any Irishman considered +neutral was London. + +As a matter of course, General O'Reilly was invited to preside, using +the Golden Judge. Like most Irishmen in America, he had long sung of and +sighed for the Auld Sod, while carefully avoiding going there, even for +a visit. + +He now realized his error. He was received as one of Ireland's most +glorious sons. He was set upon by thousands, perhaps hundreds of +thousands, of proud O'Reillys--there were O'Reillys from the bogs and +O'Reillys from the great houses, O'Reillys in tophats and O'Reillys in +tam o' shanter. He was assured, and came near believing it, that in both +looks and wisdom, he was the spitting image of the Great O'Reilly, one +of the many last rightful Kings of Ireland. A minstrel composed a lay +about him, "The Golden Judge of Ireland"; he was smothered in shamrock, +and could have swum in the gifts of potheen. Secretly he much preferred +Scotch whisky to Irish, but the swarming O'Reillys made the disposal of +the potheen no very great problem. + + * * * * * + +The actual toss took place in a small railroad station, hastily cleaned +up, on the railway line between Dublin and Belfast. Impartial surveyors +had certified it as being exactly astraddle the frontier. + +Amid a deathlike hush, with a high sense of history in his heart, +General O'Reilly flipped the Golden Judge high in the air. + +Eire won. The Six Counties were no longer lost, and there was little +enough work done in Ireland for a fortnight. Eire instantly and +magnanimously granted to her new north all the points that had been +fought over so bitterly for so many years. For the northerners, to their +surprise, life went on exactly as before, except for different postage +stamps, and a changed heading on their income-tax returns, which were +considerably lower. For the first time in many years, there were no +brickbats thrown if a man felt the need, on a summer night, to sing +"God Save the Queen." + +General O'Reilly flew away from Ireland with a mist in his eyes and a +great glow in his heart. In a shaven second, he had achieved the thing +for which long and gallant generations of earlier O'Reillys had fought +bloodily and in vain. For a fleeting moment, he wondered if his nervous +right hand that day had shown any subconscious partisanship, but +rejected the thing as impossible. If the toss for the Six Counties was, +in a way, the crowning peak of General O'Reilly's career, it was by no +means the end of it. Both he and his coin were fast becoming settled +tradition. He continued his normal military career, but with the tacit +understanding he would have a few days' leave of absence whenever the +Golden Judge was needed. + +He took it to Stockholm for the toss that settled the old and bitter +fishing controversy between Britain and Iceland. Britain won. + +He took it to Cairo, where Britain and Greece tossed for Cyprus. Greece +won, and at once offered Britain all the bases she wanted there, and +granted special extraterritorial status to all British colonels, +knights' widows and former governors of the Punjab living in retirement +on the island. + +He got his third star just before he flew down to Rio de Janiero for the +toss that finally settled the nagging quarrel between Britain and +Argentina as to who owned the Falkland Islands. Britain won. + +He took it to The Hague in Holland for the toss about the Saar. The Saar +had remained a European sore point despite a series of Franco-German +"settlements" which never seemed to settle anything. Germany won the +toss, and immediately, of her own free will, granted the French equal +commercial rights. + +The Saar toss had two odd results. The first was purely personal for +General O'Reilly, but he never forgot it. One day, driving through The +Hague, his official car passed a huge dignified building, which his +chauffeur explained was the World Court. With a strange feeling, the +general noticed a solemn old man in black, staring bleakly out the +window. He realized suddenly it was probably a judge, and that the +golden coin in his pocket had turned this costly mechanism into an +anachronism. Nobody used the World Court any more now. + +The other result of the Saar toss was, from the viewpoint of world +jurisprudence, far more important. It transformed the Golden Judge from +a mere tradition into an established legal institution, in this manner: + +France and Germany had been unable to agree whether the Saar was really +_tossable_--a term that soon entered dictionaries--and had appealed to +the United Nations to decide. A temporary or _ad hoc_ United Nations +commission had been named to settle this point and, after due +deliberation, had pronounced the Saar tossable. + +Technically, this "Saar Commission" should have then dissolved itself. +Instead, in the way of parliamentary institutions, it lingered on and +soon became the accepted body to decide on tossability. And, +illogically, it was forever afterwards still called the "Saar +Commission." + +Whenever, anywhere in the world, some international dispute reached +stalemate, it became commonplace for some delegate to rise and say: "Mr. +Chairman, I move the question be referred to the Saar Commission." + +In due course, the Saar Commission would then give its solemn judgment +as to whether or not the dispute should be put to the arbitrament of the +Golden Judge. If so, General O'Reilly would board a plane, and be off. + +Once the Saar Commission had its say, no nation ever dared refuse to put +a dispute to the hazard of the coin. Whereas nations yawned at being +called "warmongers" or "imperialists" or "aggressors" or "international +bandits," none could stand being called "bad sportsmen" or "poor +losers." So many nations had accepted the verdict of the Golden Judge, +that it became increasingly more difficult, not to say impossible, for a +given nation to admit it was less sporting than the others. + + * * * * * + +However, not all disputes were held tossable, to the disappointment of +some people who had too quickly believed the Golden Judge would bring +immediate Utopia, the end of all quarreling forever. Gradually the Saar +Commission evolved certain criteria: + +1. A dispute was not tossable if it might give great populations and +great nations over into systems of government they abhorred; it was +tossable only if the population involved had no very great bias one way +or the other. + +2. A tossable dispute was one in which justice lay on both sides, evenly +balanced. + +3. Tossing was clearly indicated where both sides ardently wished a +settlement, but where neither side was willing to cede an inch, for fear +of losing "face." + +Thus the Saar Commission pronounced untossable the proposal by the +Soviet Union to have the Golden Judge decide whether or not America +should abandon all her overseas bases. It also turned down the +suggestion of an American senator that Russia and the United States +should toss for Soviet withdrawal from all Eastern Europe. It denied the +appeal of an idealistic Dane who wanted a toss to decide whether Germany +should be all Communist or all-Western. It likewise rejected a Swiss +proposal that Chiang Kai Shek and Chou En-Lai should toss again, this +time for Formosa itself. + +In passing, it is of interest to note that only once did Soviet Russia +agree to toss. It was in the matter of her old dispute with Persia over +caviar fishing rights in the Caspian Sea. Persia won but, to the +consternation of the world, Russia refused to abide by the outcome. It +was the first and only time that the decision of the Golden Judge was +not obeyed, and it had startling repercussions. + +All over the world, fellow-travelers abandoned the Soviet cause. They +had been able to find some excuses, however tortuous, for Russian +purges, forced confessions, concentration camps and aggressions, but +they turned away, shocked and saddened, from a nation that openly +welshed on a bet. + +There were strong reactions within Russia itself, +although the convulsions were largely screened from Western eyes. +However, an unprecedented number of Russians fled across the Iron +Curtain, seeking asylum in the West. They said gloomily they could no +longer support a regime that reneged on its fair gambling losses, and +protested fiercely this was not the true soul of Russia. + +In a gallant effort to recoup face for Russian sportsmanship, many of +these refugees grimly began playing almost non-stop games of "Russian +roulette," which gives the player a five-to-one chance of living. Some +extreme chauvinists proudly reduced the odds to three-to-one by +inserting two bullets, and a former Red Army major named Tolbunin even +used three. His _tour de force_ was widely admired, although not +repeated, and Tolbunin himself was given a magnificent funeral. + +Yet, except for the Caspian caviar toss, the Golden Judge was obeyed as +unquestioningly as the Voice from Sinai, and perhaps more so. And if it +could be used only in what some called "minor" disputes, it was +surprising to see, once these were settled, how really few "major" ones +remained. It is impossible here, of course, to list more than a few of +General O'Reilly's tosses, but he flew to nearly every spot on earth, a +beloved world figure. + +He flew to Ethiopia--and caught malaria there--to settle an old quarrel +between that country and the Sudan over a one-square-mile Sudanese +enclave named Gambela, well inside Ethiopia. A relic of the times when +Britain controlled the Sudan, Gambela had long been a thorn in the side +of the Conquering Lion of Judah. Although the Negus lost, he accepted +the verdict as uncomplainingly as earlier disputants, some three +thousand years before, had once accepted the awards of his putative +ancestor, King Solomon. + +General O'Reilly ended a tiny but poisonous quarrel of many years' +standing as to whether British Honduras should become a part of the +Republic of Honduras. Britain won. + + * * * * * + +In an epic tour in 1973 that left the world gasping with admiration, +General O'Reilly spread lasting balm on many sores in the Middle East. +The Golden Judge settled--in favor of Pakistan--her friction with +Afghanistan over the long-disputed Pathan territory. Saudi Arabia won +from Britain two small and completely worthless oases on the undefined +border between Saudi Arabia and Trucial Oman. These oases had, over the +years, produced many hot and vain notes, and desultory shooting, but the +Lord of Saudi Arabia was subsequently much disappointed that they never +produced oil. He was further dismayed when the Golden Judge awarded to +Iraq a "neutral zone" between the two countries, on which they had never +been able to agree, and this zone did, in fact, produce tremendous +amounts of oil. However, he complained only to Allah. + +Syria and Turkey resorted to the toss to decide about the Sanjak of +Alexandretta (Iskanderun) which Turkey had been given by France back in +the Thirties, when France ran Syria. Turkey won. Damascus sighed but +smiled, and reopened diplomatic relations with Ankara that had been +severed for more than twenty years. + +But on a golden January day in 1975, in Malaga, Spain, General +O'Reilly's aide-de-camp noticed that his chief seemed strangely +preoccupied. The occasion was a toss between Sweden and Finland as to +the possession of four large rocks lying in the sea at the head of the +Gulf of Bothnia, just off the Finno-Swedish frontier. These rocks, just +south of the Arctic circle, contained no population other than sea +gulls, but had been warmly claimed by both nations for years. And since +the weather in Scandinavia in January is miserable, the Finns and Swedes +had sagely decided to hold the toss in Malaga, which was as far south as +they could go and still be in Europe. + +In public, General O'Reilly was himself--charming, dependable, cheerful. +He carried out the toss as gracefully as he had all the others, and he +made a winning speech at the banquet given by the Finns that night to +celebrate their acquisition of the four sub-Arctic rocks. + +But the A.D.C. was not deluded and later, on the flight back to +Washington, he observed that General O'Reilly was unusually abstracted +and pensive, lost in thought. But since a major does not ask a +lieutenant general about such matters, he kept silent. + +The fact was that the general had now reached sixty-five, and in the +American Army, sixty-five is retirement age. As the ocean fled away +under the racing plane, he was remembering a scene the week before in +the office of the Army Chief of Staff. + +"It's up to you, Terry," the Chief of Staff had said. "You know +perfectly well that the President is willing, even eager, to keep you on +past the retirement age. You're a big man in the world now. You can stay +on the active list as long as you want. If necessary, he'll ask a +special law, and there won't be one vote against it." + +Then the general remembered his wife: "You've done enough, darling. It's +time we had a real permanent home for once in our lives. That garden for +me, those Aberdeen Angus for you--remember? You've traveled too much; +you've never really gotten over that malaria. Darling, you need a rest. +You've earned it." + +The general gazed out the plane window, trying to make up his mind. Then +suddenly he chuckled. The A.D.C. saw him pull a leather case out of +his pocket and watched, puzzled, as a golden coin spun briefly in the +air. + +The general caught it on the back of his left hand, covering it with +his right. Then he removed the right, looked at it. + +He chuckled again. + + * * * * * + +When General O'Reilly retired the following week, the President asked +Congress for a fourth star for him and, in a special message, listed in +glowing terms the services he had rendered to America and the world. The +bill passed without a murmur, and Terence Patrick O'Reilly became at +last a full general. + +Messages poured in from nearly every country in the world, from dozens +of presidents and premiers, and the handful of remaining kings. Along +with them came hundreds of gifts. They included a carved elephant tusk +from Nepal, a Royal Copenhagen dinner service for twenty-four from the +Kingdom of Denmark, a one-rupee note from a ten-year-old girl in Bombay +and--a gesture that excited much speculation--a case of caviar from the +Kremlin. + +The Department of Defense announced that General O'Reilly had become the +most decorated soldier ever to wear American uniform. In every toss, +each of the rival sides had awarded him some kind of decoration. When he +wore full-dress uniform, the ribbons solidly covered both sides of his +tunic, and he was nearly strangled with various stars and orders that +dangled from ribbons around his neck. + +"He retired just in time," his wife told her daughter-in-law one day at +tea. "There's not another square inch left for another ribbon." + +General O'Reilly presented the Golden Judge to the United Nations, and +the King of Saudi Arabia proved his sportsmanship by having a +theft-proof case made for it of solid crystal, so that it could be on +public display. It was soon as visited and cherished as the Magna Carta +and the Liberty Bell. A night and day guard stood watch over it. + +Yet it was far from a useless relic. Often the crystal case was empty, +and this meant it was seeing service somewhere in the world, in the +hands of a Swedish general who had finally been chosen by the United +Nations to succeed Terence O'Reilly. + +In his final press interview, General O'Reilly unburdened himself of +some thoughts which--refined--have passed into international +jurisprudence under the name of O'Reilly's Law. + +"For thousands of years," the general said thoughtfully, "mankind has +been making all kinds of commandments and laws and prohibitions and +contracts and treaties--and broken them all when the mood suited them. +Perhaps it's a sad thing to say, but so far nothing's ever been invented +that men will really live up to more than the terms of a bet. With very, +very few exceptions, a man--or a nation--will respect a bet when he +won't respect any other damned thing on earth!" + + +THE END + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Golden Judge, by Nathaniel Gordon + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GOLDEN JUDGE *** + +***** This file should be named 24495-8.txt or 24495-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/4/4/9/24495/ + +Produced by Greg Weeks and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Golden Judge + +Author: Nathaniel Gordon + +Illustrator: Freas + +Release Date: February 2, 2008 [EBook #24495] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GOLDEN JUDGE *** + + + + +Produced by Greg Weeks and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<div class="block"> +<p><small>This etext was produced from Astounding Science Fiction +December 1955. Extensive research did not uncover any +evidence that the U.S. copyright on this publication +was renewed.</small></p> +</div> + + +<div class="bk"> +<div class="titler"> +<p class="title">THE<br /> +GOLDEN<br /> +JUDGE</p> + +<p class="tb"><i>A suggestion and a highly intriguing one--on how to settle the problems +that involve face-saving among nations!</i></p> + +<p class="author">BY NATHANIEL GORDON</p> + +<p class="illus">Illustrated by Freas</p> +</div></div> + +<p><i>UNITED NATIONS, N.Y., June 16, 1981—(AP)—In one of +the most impressive ceremonies ever held in the United Nations building, +the world celebrated today the 25th anniversary of the discovery of the +"Golden Judge."</i></p> + +<p><i>General Terence P. O'Reilly, USA (Retired), the man responsible for the +discovery, was the principal guest of honor. Obviously moved by the +acclaim from virtually every member nation, Gen. O'Reilly made a brief +speech recapturing for a moment the accidental circumstances of 25 years +ago that so drastically reduced world tensions....</i></p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>It was stifling hot in Jerusalem in the afternoon of June 16, 1956, and +Major General Terence Patrick O'Reilly, United States Army, was rather +more bored than usual. His Army career had gone well—two stars already +at forty-five—until the mysterious workings of the Pentagon had given +him perhaps the most frustrating posting a soldier could have.</p> + +<p>He was chairman of the mixed United Nations armistice commission trying +to keep the uneasy peace between Israel and her Arab neighbors. For +months he had presided over unending investigations of border incidents, +some petty, some not so petty. He had signed reports reprimanding and +recommending and approving, but nothing ever came of them, and he no +longer expected anything ever would.</p> + +<p>Today's hearing was different, and not strictly in his field. But +because he was an engineer, and because both Arabs and Israelis trusted +him, he had agreed to listen to their opposing arguments on using the +waters of the River Jordan.</p> + +<p>Too many years ago, the United States had offered to provide most of the +funds for a "little TVA" on the river, benefitting both Israel and +Jordan alike. At first, both had refused outright to have anything to do +with the other. But over the years, skillful negotiating by Eric +Johnston, the American President's personal envoy, had brought Israel +and Jordan closer and closer together—until now they agreed on the +disposal of ninety per cent of the water.</p> + +<p>But farther than this they would not go. For months, years, they balked +on the remaining ten per cent, and the dams remained only blueprints.</p> + +<p>Terence O'Reilly was sick unto death of the arguments, and thought +everyone else was, too. He had heard them over and over; he knew them by +heart. He knew they were evenly balanced, with justice on both sides. He +knew both nations longed for a settlement, but he knew neither would +back down, for reasons of "face." Worst of all, he knew that any +decision of his was meaningless. It was purely advisory, and he knew all +too well what "advisory" opinions counted for out here.</p> + +<p>Yet he tried to look interested as the delegate from Jordan wearily +produced an argument that every man in the conference room could recite +word for word.</p> + +<p>In a brief lull, General O'Reilly groaned: "Why don't they toss a coin +for it?"</p> + +<p>It was not as <i>sotto voce</i> as he meant.</p> + +<p>The Arab delegate stared at him. "I beg your pardon!"</p> + +<p>Flushing, General O'Reilly apologized, but the Arab was already talking +excitedly to his fellow delegates. Puzzled, O'Reilly heard a confused +babble of Arabic, then sudden silence.</p> + +<p>The Arab delegate had a glint in his eye as he asked for the floor.</p> + +<p>"In the name of my country," he said proudly, "we agree!"</p> + +<p>The word "agree" had not been heard in this chamber for many months, and +General O'Reilly wondered if he had heard aright. "Agree?" he stared. +"Agree to what?"</p> + +<p>"To toss a coin for it, as the chairman has proposed," the Arab said. +"That is, it the Israeli delegation has the courage, the sportsmanship +to agree." He looked tauntingly to his rivals across the room.</p> + +<p>The Israeli leader sprang to his feet, indignant. "I protest, Mr. +Chairman, to this frivolous treatment of a serious matter, which will +affect the future of—"</p> + +<p>He felt silent, aware of the contemptuous smiles on the faces of the +Arabs.</p> + +<p>General O'Reilly kept his countenance. He said mildly: "Of course, if +you are not willing to risk the luck of—"</p> + +<p>"We are afraid of nothing, sir!" the Israeli snapped. "We are as +sporting as anyone else, but—" One of his fellow delegates whispered +something to him. Then the whole Israeli delegation talked in low +voices. Finally the leader rose again. "Will you permit me to telephone +my minister?"</p> + +<p>Gravely the general recessed the meeting for thirty minutes. In his own +room, he stared at himself in the mirror, still dazed.</p> + +<p>"My God!" he breathed. "They can't be taking it seriously!"</p> + +<p>But why not? If the arguments were so evenly balanced that not even +Solomon could have chosen, if they really wanted a settlement, if they +could never give in without losing "face"—why, what better method than +to trust it to the fall of a coin? Still—things just didn't happen that +way.</p> + +<p>When the thirty minute recess ended, the Israeli delegate arose. He +glared across the room and announced defiantly: "My government also +agrees! Let the coin decide!"</p> + +<p>The conference broke into clamor, but General O'Reilly had long since +learned the value of prudence in Jerusalem. "The chairman agrees," he +said judicially, "that in the circumstances, this is perhaps an +excellent solution, perhaps the only solution. But this has been, to say +the least, somewhat impulsive. Let me suggest both sides return to their +governments and consider this well. Then, if you are both still +willing, let us meet here one week from today, in this room—and the +coin will decide!"</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>He had expected second thoughts, and he was not disappointed. Extremists +on both sides of the Jordan screamed with indignation. Yet, oddly, most +people seemed strangely excited, even pleased by the sporting +proposition. They began to lay bets on the outcome.</p> + +<p>And both governments held firm. Probably, the general speculated, +because they both wanted a solution—and there was no other solution in +sight. Also, each hated to be the first to back down from a fair bet. It +became a matter of honor.</p> + +<p>On the week end, General O'Reilly flew to Cairo to meet some friends +passing through on a world tour. Like all tourists, they went to the +Mouski, Cairo's great bazaar, and it was there, in the Street of the +Goldsmiths, that the general got his idea.</p> + +<p>It cost him a chunk of money, out of his own pocket, but like most +Irishmen, he was a sporting man himself. After all, he grinned to +himself, I started the whole business, and I might as well do it up in +style.</p> + +<p>He had decided that no ordinary coin would do for such an historic +occasion. So he had a goldsmith make him a heavy solid-gold medallion +almost twice as big as a twenty-dollar gold piece. He was not very much +pleased with the design he sketched out hastily, but on the spur of the +moment, he could think of nothing better.</p> + +<p>The "Heads" side of the great coin bore a <i>front</i> view of the blind +goddess of justice, with her scales. The "Tails" side had a <i>rear</i> view +of the same lady.</p> + +<p>It was rather crudely done, but time was short. "It'll have to do," the +general chuckled, as the plane bore him back to Jerusalem.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>When the appointed day came, the United Nations conference room in +Jerusalem was jammed with Israeli and Arab officials, and with a pack of +correspondents who had magically appeared.</p> + +<p>General O'Reilly had decided against asking each side to put its +agreement into writing. A true gentleman's agreement shouldn't be +written, he concluded. He merely asked the leaders for each side if they +agreed to abide by the fall of the coin. Solemnly, both assented.</p> + +<p>Courteously, the Israelis had allowed the Arabs to call while the coin +was still in the air. There was silence as General O'Reilly flipped it +high up towards the ceiling.</p> + +<p>"Tails!" cried the Arab leader.</p> + +<p>The spinning coin glittered, falling onto the green baize table. The +general looked at it. The goddess had her back turned.</p> + +<p>"It is tails," he announced, and the Arab delegation broke into happy +shouts.</p> + +<p>And, astonishingly, that was that. The leading Tel-Aviv newspaper summed +up Israeli feeling when it wrote in an editorial: "Certainly there were +many heavy hearts in our country when the coin fell against us. But let +us show the world that we are true sportsmen. We risked, and we lost. +Let this be the end of it."</p> + +<p>Work began on the dams at last, without interference or protest. Not a +word was ever written on paper, but it was the only agreement between +the two countries that was scrupulously kept by both sides.</p> + +<p>It was, of course, a wonderful story. The name of Terence O'Reilly swam +suddenly into the headlines, and his wife began keeping a scrapbook of +all the clippings. One among them was destined to be more potent in +world affairs than all the rest. It was a "profile" of General O'Reilly +published in a great American magazine, and it was notable for two +things.</p> + +<p>To begin with, it was the author of this profile who first gave the coin +the name by which it soon became so famous—the "Golden Judge."</p> + +<p>But it also contained a casual, seemingly insignificant remark by +General O'Reilly. When the interviewer had asked how he happened to +think of the coin-tossing idea, the general had grinned. "Why not?" he +said. "Aren't the Irish the gamblingest people on earth?"</p> + +<p>And it was this innocent sentence, hardly noticed at the time, that +started the "Golden Judge" on its fantastic career, and kept it from +being a mere nine-day wonder.</p> + +<p>For a Chinese Communist diplomat in Berne, Switzerland, happened to see +it and, one night at a dinner party, he said mockingly: "This stupid +American general in Jerusalem is obviously ignorant of the world. +Otherwise, he would realize that no nation on earth loves gambling so +much as the Chinese. Anyone who knows the Orient will tell you this."</p> + +<p>This made good cocktail party talk, a thing desperately needed in Berne, +and eventually reached the ears of an Associated Press correspondent. He +filed a paragraph on it for a box story and, in the inevitable way of +the press, a reporter in Jerusalem asked General O'Reilly for his +comment.</p> + +<p>"Well," he said, "I've heard the Chinese are great gamblers indeed, +although whether more so than the Irish I beg leave to doubt."</p> + +<p>Then his eyes twinkled. "Why don't they prove it? Why don't they toss a +coin, say, for Quemoy and Matsu? The danged little places aren't worth a +nickel to either side, and well they both know it. But they'll neither +of them back down a hair, for losing face. I say, if they think they're +the greatest gamblers on earth, let 'em prove it!"</p> + +<p>This sped into print, caused a world-wide stir, and brought General +O'Reilly a sizzling reprimand from the Department of the Army. He was +not REPEAT NOT to express opinions about the value of allied territory.</p> + +<p>He read the reprimand ruefully, reminded himself that another great +Irish failing was too much talk—and said good-by to any hopes for a +third star.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>But this was before the black headlines from Formosa. With popping eyes, +General O'Reilly read that the Chinese Nationalist Foreign Minister had +taken up the challenge. He offered to toss a coin with the Chinese +Communists for Quemoy and Matsu!</p> + +<p>"I'll be jiggered!" the general breathed. "They'll fight about +everything else, but be damned if they'll admit the Irish are bigger +gamblers than the Chinese! Now let's see what the Commies say."</p> + +<p>Peking was silent for two weeks. Then, in a broadcast from Radio Peking, +Chou En-Lai made his reply.</p> + +<p>He agreed—but with conditions. He insisted on a neutral commission to +supervise the toss, half Communist members, half non-Communist. World +observers, weary of neutral commissions that never achieved anything, +interpreted this as a delaying tactic and agreed the whole thing would +fall through.</p> + +<p>"This is further proof," the Nationalist Foreign Minister commented with +icy scorn, "that the Communists are no longer real Chinese. For any +Chinese worthy of the name would not be afraid to risk the fall of the +coin."</p> + +<p>But Marx had not quite liquidated the gambling fever that runs strong in +the blood of any Chinese, be he ever so Communist.</p> + +<p>Stung, Chou En-Lai retorted: "We agree! Let the coin decide!"</p> + +<p>It was agreed that Prime Minister Nehru of India, as a neutral, should +supervise the matter, and that New Delhi would be the scene of the +actual tossing. And Nehru thought it fitting to invite General O'Reilly, +as the father of the whole thing, to bring the same "Golden Judge" to +India, to be used again.</p> + +<p>The general came gladly, but declined to make the toss himself. "My +country is too closely involved in this matter," he explained, "and +there might be talk if an American made the toss."</p> + +<p>He suggested Nehru himself do it, and the Prime Minister agreed.</p> + +<p>The actual tossing was done in the great governmental palace, and +Communist China won. Chiang Kai Shek's delegate bowed impassively and +said coolly that his government yielded without question to the goddess +of chance.</p> + +<p>That night the Indian Prime Minister was host to a glittering official +banquet to celebrate the ending of the "offshore island" crisis.</p> + +<p>"And we must lift our glasses," he said eloquently after dinner, "to the +man who discovered this eminently sane method of settling quarrels—a +method so sensible, so fair that it is difficult to believe that in all +the world's long search for peace, it has not been discovered before. I +give you General O'Reilly!"</p> + +<p>The general rose to loud applause. He expressed his thanks modestly, and +disclaimed any merit except that of pure luck. Then he held up the +"Golden Judge" itself, with a gleam in his eye.</p> + +<p>"I hope," he said, "that this coin will have still more work to do. +Surely there are still disputed places in the world, where justice lies +on both sides, where only 'face-saving' prevents a settlement. And +surely it is better to resort to this coin than to force and war and +bitter arguments that drag on year after year."</p> + +<p>"Hear! Hear!" Nehru cried, leading the applause. General O'Reilly stood +smiling until it died away.</p> + +<p>"Places like Kashmir," he said clearly.</p> + +<p>There was a gasp of laughter, quickly hushed. Nehru's face was pale with +anger; he was famous for his temper. And everyone knew how India and +Pakistan had quarreled for years over Kashmir, and that all the efforts +of the United Nations had come to nothing so far.</p> + +<p>"I was delighted to hear Prime Minister Nehru say," General O'Reilly +went on calmly, "how much he approved this method of settling old +disputes. And I should be very glad to help—with this." Smiling, he +tossed the Golden Judge in the air and caught it again.</p> + +<p>Nehru could keep silent no longer. Like a skilled Oriental debater, he +struck back indirectly. "We thank General O'Reilly," he said acidly, +"for his kind offer, but perhaps it should be first used by his own +people, the Irish, of whose gambling prowess he is so proud. Surely no +bitterness has lasted longer than that between the Republic of Ireland +and the 'Six Lost Counties' of Northern Ireland. Let the Irish use the +Golden Judge themselves before they counsel it for others!"</p> + +<p>But General O'Reilly was unruffled. "I'm an American, myself," he said, +smiling, "although proud indeed of my Irish blood. And the <i>Irish</i> Irish +will have to speak for themselves, although I venture to say you'll find +them a sporting people indeed. But that's not quite the point, is it? +'Twas you yourself, sir, who praised the Golden Judge so highly. And +you've seen today what fine sportsmen the Chinese are. The point is, are +the <i>Indians</i> a sporting people?"</p> + +<p>"Of course we're a sporting people!" Nehru glared.</p> + +<p>"Then I take it you'd be willing, assuming Pakistan agrees, of course, +but I'm told they're a <i>very</i> sporting people, to—" The general tossed +the coin again, absent-mindedly.</p> + +<p>"All right!" Nehru grated. "If they agree, so do we!"</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>It took a month before Pakistan could agree, and all the arrangements be +made for the Toss on Kashmir. But in that month, the world had other +things to think about. Chiang Kai Shek accepted his gambling loss +without a murmur and removed his troops from Quemoy and Matsu, the +American Seventh Fleet helping, the Communists not interfering. All +civilians on the islands who wished to go to Formosa were taken there.</p> + +<p>Washington said little officially, but in the corridors of the +Pentagon, Congress and the White House, the sighs of relief reached gale +force. General O'Reilly received a confidential and personal message +from the Army Chief of Staff that made him pink with pleasure.</p> + +<p>"May get that third star after all," he told his wife that night. "And +not too long to wait, maybe."</p> + +<p>But, above all, the month was filled with clamor from Ireland. Her +Majesty's Government in Whitehall had immediately issued a communiqué +which took a glacial view of the "puerile" proposal to toss for Northern +Ireland. It was the timing of this communiqué, rather than its contents, +that proved a tactical error. It had come too quickly, and Irishmen, +both north and south, resented it.</p> + +<p>As a Belfast newspaper wrote tartly: "Irishmen on both sides of the line +are quite able to decide such matters for themselves, without the +motherly interference of London."</p> + +<p>Dublin agreed in principle to toss, but the wrangling over conditions +and exceptions boiled up into the greatest inter-Irish quarreling of +twenty years. It was still raging when General O'Reilly flew into the +Vale of Kashmir with a broad smile and the Golden Judge.</p> + +<p>Again the great coin glittered high in the air while none other than +Nehru himself called out, tensely: "Heads!"</p> + +<p>It fell "Tails."</p> + +<p>"So be it!" Nehru said calmly, shaking hands with the Governor-General +of Pakistan.</p> + +<p>"Well, general," Nehru said, turning to O'Reilly with a smile, "are you +satisfied now? I think we've proved we're a sporting people. So have the +Chinese, and the Jews and the Arabs. But what about your own folk, the +Irish? From what I read, their sporting qualities seem to be highly +overrated. I'd say they'd never gamble but on a sure thing."</p> + +<p>The general's face went red at the insult, and so, a day later, did the +collective face of all Irishmen, North and South. For a while there was +aghast silence from the Emerald Isle, a silence sullen and embarrassed. +And then a great rumbling roar of indignation.</p> + +<p>"Mr. Speaker!" cried a member of the Dail in Dublin. "Are the Irish +people, who honor great gamblers only a little less than great poets, to +be outdone by dark-skinned heathen? Mr. Speaker, I say <i>no</i>!"</p> + +<p>The following morning, the government of Eire formally offered to toss +for the Six Lost Counties and, if the coin fell contrary, to say no more +about them forever. Belfast agreed that same afternoon, and the whole +island went wild with excitement. Hardly any Irishman failed to place +some kind of side bet on the outcome, and stakes were laid that day that +would be spoken of with prideful awe for generations to come.</p> + +<p>The remark of a Limerick drayman was widely quoted. "There's not a man +of us here," he commented in the course of a game of darts at the Sword +and Shamrock, "but would toss a coin for his grandmother's head, and +well ye know it. So after all the blatherin' and yowrin', why not have a +go for the Six Counties, and let the coin decide it now and foriver, +once and for all, win or lose?"</p> + +<p>The British Government surrendered with grace, and offered to play host +to the toss in London, as a neutral place. They soon learned, with +burning ears, that the last place on earth any Irishman considered +neutral was London.</p> + +<p>As a matter of course, General O'Reilly was invited to preside, using +the Golden Judge. Like most Irishmen in America, he had long sung of and +sighed for the Auld Sod, while carefully avoiding going there, even for +a visit.</p> + +<p>He now realized his error. He was received as one of Ireland's most +glorious sons. He was set upon by thousands, perhaps hundreds of +thousands, of proud O'Reillys—there were O'Reillys from the bogs and +O'Reillys from the great houses, O'Reillys in tophats and O'Reillys in +tam o' shanter. He was assured, and came near believing it, that in both +looks and wisdom, he was the spitting image of the Great O'Reilly, one +of the many last rightful Kings of Ireland. A minstrel composed a lay +about him, "The Golden Judge of Ireland"; he was smothered in shamrock, +and could have swum in the gifts of potheen. Secretly he much preferred +Scotch whisky to Irish, but the swarming O'Reillys made the disposal of +the potheen no very great problem.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>The actual toss took place in a small railroad station, hastily cleaned +up, on the railway line between Dublin and Belfast. Impartial surveyors +had certified it as being exactly astraddle the frontier.</p> + +<p>Amid a deathlike hush, with a high sense of history in his heart, +General O'Reilly flipped the Golden Judge high in the air.</p> + +<p>Eire won. The Six Counties were no longer lost, and there was little +enough work done in Ireland for a fortnight. Eire instantly and +magnanimously granted to her new north all the points that had been +fought over so bitterly for so many years. For the northerners, to their +surprise, life went on exactly as before, except for different postage +stamps, and a changed heading on their income-tax returns, which were +considerably lower. For the first time in many years, there were no +brick-*bats thrown if a man felt the need, on a summer night, to sing +"God Save the Queen."</p> + +<p>General O'Reilly flew away from Ireland with a mist in his eyes and a +great glow in his heart. In a shaven second, he had achieved the thing +for which long and gallant generations of earlier O'Reillys had fought +bloodily and in vain. For a fleeting moment, he wondered if his nervous +right hand that day had shown any subconscious partisanship, but +rejected the thing as impossible. If the toss for the Six Counties was, +in a way, the crowning peak of General O'Reilly's career, it was by no +means the end of it. Both he and his coin were fast becoming settled +tradition. He continued his normal military career, but with the tacit +understanding he would have a few days' leave of absence whenever the +Golden Judge was needed.</p> + +<p>He took it to Stockholm for the toss that settled the old and bitter +fishing controversy between Britain and Iceland. Britain won.</p> + +<p>He took it to Cairo, where Britain and Greece tossed for Cyprus. Greece +won, and at once offered Britain all the bases she wanted there, and +granted special extraterritorial status to all British colonels, +knights' widows and former governors of the Punjab living in retirement +on the island.</p> + +<p>He got his third star just before he flew down to Rio de Janiero for the +toss that finally settled the nagging quarrel between Britain and +Argentina as to who owned the Falkland Islands. Britain won.</p> + +<p>He took it to The Hague in Holland for the toss about the Saar. The Saar +had remained a European sore point despite a series of Franco-German +"settlements" which never seemed to settle anything. Germany won the +toss, and immediately, of her own free will, granted the French equal +commercial rights.</p> + +<p>The Saar toss had two odd results. The first was purely personal for +General O'Reilly, but he never forgot it. One day, driving through The +Hague, his official car passed a huge dignified building, which his +chauffeur explained was the World Court. With a strange feeling, the +general noticed a solemn old man in black, staring bleakly out the +window. He realized suddenly it was probably a judge, and that the +golden coin in his pocket had turned this costly mechanism into an +anachronism. Nobody used the World Court any more now.</p> + +<p>The other result of the Saar toss was, from the viewpoint of world +jurisprudence, far more important. It transformed the Golden Judge from +a mere tradition into an established legal institution, in this manner:</p> + +<p>France and Germany had been unable to agree whether the Saar was really +<i>tossable</i>—a term that soon entered dictionaries—and had appealed to +the United Nations to decide. A temporary or <i>ad hoc</i> United Nations +commission had been named to settle this point and, after due +deliberation, had pronounced the Saar tossable.</p> + +<p>Technically, this "Saar Commission" should have then dissolved itself. +Instead, in the way of parliamentary institutions, it lingered on and +soon became the accepted body to decide on tossability. And, +illogically, it was forever afterwards still called the "Saar +Commission."</p> + +<p>Whenever, anywhere in the world, some international dispute reached +stalemate, it became commonplace for some delegate to rise and say: "Mr. +Chairman, I move the question be referred to the Saar Commission."</p> + +<p>In due course, the Saar Commission would then give its solemn judgment +as to whether or not the dispute should be put to the arbitrament of the +Golden Judge. If so, General O'Reilly would board a plane, and be off.</p> + +<p>Once the Saar Commission had its say, no nation ever dared refuse to put +a dispute to the hazard of the coin. Whereas nations yawned at being +called "warmongers" or "imperialists" or "aggressors" or "international +bandits," none could stand being called "bad sportsmen" or "poor +losers." So many nations had accepted the verdict of the Golden Judge, +that it became increasingly more difficult, not to say impossible, for a +given nation to admit it was less sporting than the others.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>However, not all disputes were held tossable, to the disappointment of +some people who had too quickly believed the Golden Judge would bring +immediate Utopia, the end of all quarreling forever. Gradually the Saar +Commission evolved certain criteria:</p> + +<p>1. A dispute was not tossable if it might give great populations and +great nations over into systems of government they abhorred; it was +tossable only if the population involved had no very great bias one way +or the other.</p> + +<p>2. A tossable dispute was one in which justice lay on both sides, evenly +balanced.</p> + +<p>3. Tossing was clearly indicated where both sides ardently wished a +settlement, but where neither side was willing to cede an inch, for fear +of losing "face."</p> + +<p>Thus the Saar Commission pronounced untossable the proposal by the +Soviet Union to have the Golden Judge decide whether or not America +should abandon all her overseas bases. It also turned down the +suggestion of an American senator that Russia and the United States +should toss for Soviet withdrawal from all Eastern Europe. It denied the +appeal of an idealistic Dane who wanted a toss to decide whether Germany +should be all Communist or all-Western. It likewise rejected a Swiss +proposal that Chiang Kai Shek and Chou En-Lai should toss again, this +time for Formosa itself.</p> + +<p>In passing, it is of interest to note that only once did Soviet Russia +agree to toss. It was in the matter of her old dispute with Persia over +caviar fishing rights in the Caspian Sea. Persia won but, to the +consternation of the world, Russia refused to abide by the outcome. It +was the first and only time that the decision of the Golden Judge was +not obeyed, and it had startling repercussions.</p> + +<p>All over the world, fellow-travelers abandoned the Soviet cause. They +had been able to find some excuses, however tortuous, for Russian +purges, forced confessions, concentration camps and aggressions, but +they turned away, shocked and saddened, from a nation that openly +welshed on a bet.</p> + +<p>There were strong reactions within Russia itself, +although the convulsions were largely screened from Western eyes. +However, an unprecedented number of Russians fled across the Iron +Curtain, seeking asylum in the West. They said gloomily they could no +longer support a regime that reneged on its fair gambling losses, and +protested fiercely this was not the true soul of Russia.</p> + +<p>In a gallant effort to recoup face for Russian sportsmanship, many of +these refugees grimly began playing almost non-stop games of "Russian +roulette," which gives the player a five-to-one chance of living. Some +extreme chauvinists proudly reduced the odds to three-to-one by +inserting two bullets, and a former Red Army major named Tolbunin even +used three. His <i>tour de force</i> was widely admired, although not +repeated, and Tolbunin himself was given a magnificent funeral.</p> + +<p>Yet, except for the Caspian caviar toss, the Golden Judge was obeyed as +unquestioningly as the Voice from Sinai, and perhaps more so. And if it +could be used only in what some called "minor" disputes, it was +surprising to see, once these were settled, how really few "major" ones +remained. It is impossible here, of course, to list more than a few of +General O'Reilly's tosses, but he flew to nearly every spot on earth, a +beloved world figure.</p> + +<p>He flew to Ethiopia—and caught malaria there—to settle an old quarrel +between that country and the Sudan over a one-square-mile Sudanese +enclave named Gambela, well inside Ethiopia. A relic of the times when +Britain controlled the Sudan, Gambela had long been a thorn in the side +of the Conquering Lion of Judah. Although the Negus lost, he accepted +the verdict as uncomplainingly as earlier disputants, some three +thousand years before, had once accepted the awards of his putative +ancestor, King Solomon.</p> + +<p>General O'Reilly ended a tiny but poisonous quarrel of many years' +standing as to whether British Honduras should become a part of the +Republic of Honduras. Britain won.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>In an epic tour in 1973 that left the world gasping with admiration, +General O'Reilly spread lasting balm on many sores in the Middle East. +The Golden Judge settled—in favor of Pakistan—her friction with +Afghanistan over the long-disputed Pathan territory. Saudi Arabia won +from Britain two small and completely worthless oases on the undefined +border between Saudi Arabia and Trucial Oman. These oases had, over the +years, produced many hot and vain notes, and desultory shooting, but the +Lord of Saudi Arabia was subsequently much disappointed that they never +produced oil. He was further dismayed when the Golden Judge awarded to +Iraq a "neutral zone" between the two countries, on which they had never +been able to agree, and this zone did, in fact, produce tremendous +amounts of oil. However, he complained only to Allah.</p> + +<p>Syria and Turkey resorted to the toss to decide about the Sanjak of +Alexandretta (Iskanderun) which Turkey had been given by France back in +the Thirties, when France ran Syria. Turkey won. Damascus sighed but +smiled, and reopened diplomatic relations with Ankara that had been +severed for more than twenty years.</p> + +<p>But on a golden January day in 1975, in Malaga, Spain, General +O'Reilly's aide-de-camp noticed that his chief seemed strangely +preoccupied. The occasion was a toss between Sweden and Finland as to +the possession of four large rocks lying in the sea at the head of the +Gulf of Bothnia, just off the Finno-Swedish frontier. These rocks, just +south of the Arctic circle, contained no population other than sea +gulls, but had been warmly claimed by both nations for years. And since +the weather in Scandinavia in January is miserable, the Finns and Swedes +had sagely decided to hold the toss in Malaga, which was as far south as +they could go and still be in Europe.</p> + +<p>In public, General O'Reilly was himself—charming, dependable, cheerful. +He carried out the toss as gracefully as he had all the others, and he +made a winning speech at the banquet given by the Finns that night to +celebrate their acquisition of the four sub-Arctic rocks.</p> + +<p>But the A.D.C. was not deluded and later, on the flight back to +Washington, he observed that General O'Reilly was unusually abstracted +and pensive, lost in thought. But since a major does not ask a +lieutenant general about such matters, he kept silent.</p> + +<p>The fact was that the general had now reached sixty-five, and in the +American Army, sixty-five is retirement age. As the ocean fled away +under the racing plane, he was remembering a scene the week before in +the office of the Army Chief of Staff.</p> + +<p>"It's up to you, Terry," the Chief of Staff had said. "You know +perfectly well that the President is willing, even eager, to keep you on +past the retirement age. You're a big man in the world now. You can stay +on the active list as long as you want. If necessary, he'll ask a +special law, and there won't be one vote against it."</p> + +<p>Then the general remembered his wife: "You've done enough, darling. It's +time we had a real permanent home for once in our lives. That garden for +me, those Aberdeen Angus for you—remember? You've traveled too much; +you've never really gotten over that malaria. Darling, you need a rest. +You've earned it."</p> + +<p>The general gazed out the plane window, trying to make up his mind. Then +suddenly he chuckled. The A.D.C. saw him pull a leather case out of +his pocket and watched, puzzled, as a golden coin spun briefly in the +air.</p> + +<p>The general caught it on the back of his left hand, covering it with +his right. Then he removed the right, looked at it.</p> + +<p>He chuckled again.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>When General O'Reilly retired the following week, the President asked +Congress for a fourth star for him and, in a special message, listed in +glowing terms the services he had rendered to America and the world. The +bill passed without a murmur, and Terence Patrick O'Reilly became at +last a full general.</p> + +<p>Messages poured in from nearly every country in the world, from dozens +of presidents and premiers, and the handful of remaining kings. Along +with them came hundreds of gifts. They included a carved elephant tusk +from Nepal, a Royal Copenhagen dinner service for twenty-four from the +Kingdom of Denmark, a one-rupee note from a ten-year-old girl in Bombay +and—a gesture that excited much speculation—a case of caviar from the +Kremlin.</p> + +<p>The Department of Defense announced that General O'Reilly had become the +most decorated soldier ever to wear American uniform. In every toss, +each of the rival sides had awarded him some kind of decoration. When he +wore full-dress uniform, the ribbons solidly covered both sides of his +tunic, and he was nearly strangled with various stars and orders that +dangled from ribbons around his neck.</p> + +<p>"He retired just in time," his wife told her daughter-in-law one day at +tea. "There's not another square inch left for another ribbon."</p> + +<p>General O'Reilly presented the Golden Judge to the United Nations, and +the King of Saudi Arabia proved his sportsmanship by having a +theft-proof case made for it of solid crystal, so that it could be on +public display. It was soon as visited and cherished as the Magna Carta +and the Liberty Bell. A night and day guard stood watch over it.</p> + +<p>Yet it was far from a useless relic. Often the crystal case was empty, +and this meant it was seeing service somewhere in the world, in the +hands of a Swedish general who had finally been chosen by the United +Nations to succeed Terence O'Reilly.</p> + +<p>In his final press interview, General O'Reilly unburdened himself of +some thoughts which—refined—have passed into international +jurisprudence under the name of O'Reilly's Law.</p> + +<p>"For thousands of years," the general said thoughtfully, "mankind has +been making all kinds of commandments and laws and prohibitions and +contracts and treaties—and broken them all when the mood suited them. +Perhaps it's a sad thing to say, but so far nothing's ever been invented +that men will really live up to more than the terms of a bet. With very, +very few exceptions, a man—or a nation—will respect a bet when he +won't respect any other damned thing on earth!"</p> + +<h4>THE END</h4> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Golden Judge, by Nathaniel Gordon + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GOLDEN JUDGE *** + +***** This file should be named 24495-h.htm or 24495-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/4/4/9/24495/ + +Produced by Greg Weeks and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Golden Judge + +Author: Nathaniel Gordon + +Illustrator: Freas + +Release Date: February 2, 2008 [EBook #24495] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GOLDEN JUDGE *** + + + + +Produced by Greg Weeks and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + + + +-------------------------------------------------------+ + |This etext was produced from Astounding Science Fiction| + |December 1955. Extensive research did not uncover any | + |evidence that the U.S. copyright on this publication | + | was renewed. | + +-------------------------------------------------------+ + + + + +THE GOLDEN JUDGE + +[Illustration] + +_A suggestion and a highly intriguing one--on how to settle the problems +that involve face-saving among nations!_ + +BY NATHANIEL GORDON + +Illustrated by Freas + + +_UNITED NATIONS, N.Y., June 16, 1981--(AP)--In one of +the most impressive ceremonies ever held in the United Nations building, +the world celebrated today the 25th anniversary of the discovery of the +"Golden Judge."_ + +_General Terence P. O'Reilly, USA (Retired), the man responsible for the +discovery, was the principal guest of honor. Obviously moved by the +acclaim from virtually every member nation, Gen. O'Reilly made a brief +speech recapturing for a moment the accidental circumstances of 25 years +ago that so drastically reduced world tensions...._ + + * * * * * + +It was stifling hot in Jerusalem in the afternoon of June 16, 1956, and +Major General Terence Patrick O'Reilly, United States Army, was rather +more bored than usual. His Army career had gone well--two stars already +at forty-five--until the mysterious workings of the Pentagon had given +him perhaps the most frustrating posting a soldier could have. + +He was chairman of the mixed United Nations armistice commission trying +to keep the uneasy peace between Israel and her Arab neighbors. For +months he had presided over unending investigations of border incidents, +some petty, some not so petty. He had signed reports reprimanding and +recommending and approving, but nothing ever came of them, and he no +longer expected anything ever would. + +Today's hearing was different, and not strictly in his field. But +because he was an engineer, and because both Arabs and Israelis trusted +him, he had agreed to listen to their opposing arguments on using the +waters of the River Jordan. + +Too many years ago, the United States had offered to provide most of the +funds for a "little TVA" on the river, benefitting both Israel and +Jordan alike. At first, both had refused outright to have anything to do +with the other. But over the years, skillful negotiating by Eric +Johnston, the American President's personal envoy, had brought Israel +and Jordan closer and closer together--until now they agreed on the +disposal of ninety per cent of the water. + +But farther than this they would not go. For months, years, they balked +on the remaining ten per cent, and the dams remained only blueprints. + +Terence O'Reilly was sick unto death of the arguments, and thought +everyone else was, too. He had heard them over and over; he knew them by +heart. He knew they were evenly balanced, with justice on both sides. He +knew both nations longed for a settlement, but he knew neither would +back down, for reasons of "face." Worst of all, he knew that any +decision of his was meaningless. It was purely advisory, and he knew all +too well what "advisory" opinions counted for out here. + +Yet he tried to look interested as the delegate from Jordan wearily +produced an argument that every man in the conference room could recite +word for word. + +In a brief lull, General O'Reilly groaned: "Why don't they toss a coin +for it?" + +It was not as _sotto voce_ as he meant. + +The Arab delegate stared at him. "I beg your pardon!" + +Flushing, General O'Reilly apologized, but the Arab was already talking +excitedly to his fellow delegates. Puzzled, O'Reilly heard a confused +babble of Arabic, then sudden silence. + +The Arab delegate had a glint in his eye as he asked for the floor. + +"In the name of my country," he said proudly, "we agree!" + +The word "agree" had not been heard in this chamber for many months, and +General O'Reilly wondered if he had heard aright. "Agree?" he stared. +"Agree to what?" + +"To toss a coin for it, as the chairman has proposed," the Arab said. +"That is, it the Israeli delegation has the courage, the sportsmanship +to agree." He looked tauntingly to his rivals across the room. + +The Israeli leader sprang to his feet, indignant. "I protest, Mr. +Chairman, to this frivolous treatment of a serious matter, which will +affect the future of--" + +He felt silent, aware of the contemptuous smiles on the faces of the +Arabs. + +General O'Reilly kept his countenance. He said mildly: "Of course, if +you are not willing to risk the luck of--" + +"We are afraid of nothing, sir!" the Israeli snapped. "We are as +sporting as anyone else, but--" One of his fellow delegates whispered +something to him. Then the whole Israeli delegation talked in low +voices. Finally the leader rose again. "Will you permit me to telephone +my minister?" + +Gravely the general recessed the meeting for thirty minutes. In his own +room, he stared at himself in the mirror, still dazed. + +"My God!" he breathed. "They can't be taking it seriously!" + +But why not? If the arguments were so evenly balanced that not even +Solomon could have chosen, if they really wanted a settlement, if they +could never give in without losing "face"--why, what better method than +to trust it to the fall of a coin? Still--things just didn't happen that +way. + +When the thirty minute recess ended, the Israeli delegate arose. He +glared across the room and announced defiantly: "My government also +agrees! Let the coin decide!" + +The conference broke into clamor, but General O'Reilly had long since +learned the value of prudence in Jerusalem. "The chairman agrees," he +said judicially, "that in the circumstances, this is perhaps an +excellent solution, perhaps the only solution. But this has been, to say +the least, somewhat impulsive. Let me suggest both sides return to their +governments and consider this well. Then, if you are both still +willing, let us meet here one week from today, in this room--and the +coin will decide!" + + * * * * * + +He had expected second thoughts, and he was not disappointed. Extremists +on both sides of the Jordan screamed with indignation. Yet, oddly, most +people seemed strangely excited, even pleased by the sporting +proposition. They began to lay bets on the outcome. + +And both governments held firm. Probably, the general speculated, +because they both wanted a solution--and there was no other solution in +sight. Also, each hated to be the first to back down from a fair bet. It +became a matter of honor. + +On the week end, General O'Reilly flew to Cairo to meet some friends +passing through on a world tour. Like all tourists, they went to the +Mouski, Cairo's great bazaar, and it was there, in the Street of the +Goldsmiths, that the general got his idea. + +It cost him a chunk of money, out of his own pocket, but like most +Irishmen, he was a sporting man himself. After all, he grinned to +himself, I started the whole business, and I might as well do it up in +style. + +He had decided that no ordinary coin would do for such an historic +occasion. So he had a goldsmith make him a heavy solid-gold medallion +almost twice as big as a twenty-dollar gold piece. He was not very much +pleased with the design he sketched out hastily, but on the spur of the +moment, he could think of nothing better. + +The "Heads" side of the great coin bore a _front_ view of the blind +goddess of justice, with her scales. The "Tails" side had a _rear_ view +of the same lady. + +It was rather crudely done, but time was short. "It'll have to do," the +general chuckled, as the plane bore him back to Jerusalem. + + * * * * * + +When the appointed day came, the United Nations conference room in +Jerusalem was jammed with Israeli and Arab officials, and with a pack of +correspondents who had magically appeared. + +General O'Reilly had decided against asking each side to put its +agreement into writing. A true gentleman's agreement shouldn't be +written, he concluded. He merely asked the leaders for each side if they +agreed to abide by the fall of the coin. Solemnly, both assented. + +Courteously, the Israelis had allowed the Arabs to call while the coin +was still in the air. There was silence as General O'Reilly flipped it +high up towards the ceiling. + +"Tails!" cried the Arab leader. + +The spinning coin glittered, falling onto the green baize table. The +general looked at it. The goddess had her back turned. + +"It is tails," he announced, and the Arab delegation broke into happy +shouts. + +And, astonishingly, that was that. The leading Tel-Aviv newspaper summed +up Israeli feeling when it wrote in an editorial: "Certainly there were +many heavy hearts in our country when the coin fell against us. But let +us show the world that we are true sportsmen. We risked, and we lost. +Let this be the end of it." + +Work began on the dams at last, without interference or protest. Not a +word was ever written on paper, but it was the only agreement between +the two countries that was scrupulously kept by both sides. + +It was, of course, a wonderful story. The name of Terence O'Reilly swam +suddenly into the headlines, and his wife began keeping a scrapbook of +all the clippings. One among them was destined to be more potent in +world affairs than all the rest. It was a "profile" of General O'Reilly +published in a great American magazine, and it was notable for two +things. + +To begin with, it was the author of this profile who first gave the coin +the name by which it soon became so famous--the "Golden Judge." + +But it also contained a casual, seemingly insignificant remark by +General O'Reilly. When the interviewer had asked how he happened to +think of the coin-tossing idea, the general had grinned. "Why not?" he +said. "Aren't the Irish the gamblingest people on earth?" + +And it was this innocent sentence, hardly noticed at the time, that +started the "Golden Judge" on its fantastic career, and kept it from +being a mere nine-day wonder. + +For a Chinese Communist diplomat in Berne, Switzerland, happened to see +it and, one night at a dinner party, he said mockingly: "This stupid +American general in Jerusalem is obviously ignorant of the world. +Otherwise, he would realize that no nation on earth loves gambling so +much as the Chinese. Anyone who knows the Orient will tell you this." + +This made good cocktail party talk, a thing desperately needed in Berne, +and eventually reached the ears of an Associated Press correspondent. He +filed a paragraph on it for a box story and, in the inevitable way of +the press, a reporter in Jerusalem asked General O'Reilly for his +comment. + +"Well," he said, "I've heard the Chinese are great gamblers indeed, +although whether more so than the Irish I beg leave to doubt." + +Then his eyes twinkled. "Why don't they prove it? Why don't they toss a +coin, say, for Quemoy and Matsu? The danged little places aren't worth a +nickel to either side, and well they both know it. But they'll neither +of them back down a hair, for losing face. I say, if they think they're +the greatest gamblers on earth, let 'em prove it!" + +This sped into print, caused a world-wide stir, and brought General +O'Reilly a sizzling reprimand from the Department of the Army. He was +not REPEAT NOT to express opinions about the value of allied territory. + +He read the reprimand ruefully, reminded himself that another great +Irish failing was too much talk--and said good-by to any hopes for a +third star. + + * * * * * + +But this was before the black headlines from Formosa. With popping eyes, +General O'Reilly read that the Chinese Nationalist Foreign Minister had +taken up the challenge. He offered to toss a coin with the Chinese +Communists for Quemoy and Matsu! + +"I'll be jiggered!" the general breathed. "They'll fight about +everything else, but be damned if they'll admit the Irish are bigger +gamblers than the Chinese! Now let's see what the Commies say." + +Peking was silent for two weeks. Then, in a broadcast from Radio Peking, +Chou En-Lai made his reply. + +He agreed--but with conditions. He insisted on a neutral commission to +supervise the toss, half Communist members, half non-Communist. World +observers, weary of neutral commissions that never achieved anything, +interpreted this as a delaying tactic and agreed the whole thing would +fall through. + +"This is further proof," the Nationalist Foreign Minister commented with +icy scorn, "that the Communists are no longer real Chinese. For any +Chinese worthy of the name would not be afraid to risk the fall of the +coin." + +But Marx had not quite liquidated the gambling fever that runs strong in +the blood of any Chinese, be he ever so Communist. + +Stung, Chou En-Lai retorted: "We agree! Let the coin decide!" + +It was agreed that Prime Minister Nehru of India, as a neutral, should +supervise the matter, and that New Delhi would be the scene of the +actual tossing. And Nehru thought it fitting to invite General O'Reilly, +as the father of the whole thing, to bring the same "Golden Judge" to +India, to be used again. + +The general came gladly, but declined to make the toss himself. "My +country is too closely involved in this matter," he explained, "and +there might be talk if an American made the toss." + +He suggested Nehru himself do it, and the Prime Minister agreed. + +The actual tossing was done in the great governmental palace, and +Communist China won. Chiang Kai Shek's delegate bowed impassively and +said coolly that his government yielded without question to the goddess +of chance. + +That night the Indian Prime Minister was host to a glittering official +banquet to celebrate the ending of the "offshore island" crisis. + +"And we must lift our glasses," he said eloquently after dinner, "to the +man who discovered this eminently sane method of settling quarrels--a +method so sensible, so fair that it is difficult to believe that in all +the world's long search for peace, it has not been discovered before. I +give you General O'Reilly!" + +The general rose to loud applause. He expressed his thanks modestly, and +disclaimed any merit except that of pure luck. Then he held up the +"Golden Judge" itself, with a gleam in his eye. + +"I hope," he said, "that this coin will have still more work to do. +Surely there are still disputed places in the world, where justice lies +on both sides, where only 'face-saving' prevents a settlement. And +surely it is better to resort to this coin than to force and war and +bitter arguments that drag on year after year." + +"Hear! Hear!" Nehru cried, leading the applause. General O'Reilly stood +smiling until it died away. + +"Places like Kashmir," he said clearly. + +There was a gasp of laughter, quickly hushed. Nehru's face was pale with +anger; he was famous for his temper. And everyone knew how India and +Pakistan had quarreled for years over Kashmir, and that all the efforts +of the United Nations had come to nothing so far. + +"I was delighted to hear Prime Minister Nehru say," General O'Reilly +went on calmly, "how much he approved this method of settling old +disputes. And I should be very glad to help--with this." Smiling, he +tossed the Golden Judge in the air and caught it again. + +Nehru could keep silent no longer. Like a skilled Oriental debater, he +struck back indirectly. "We thank General O'Reilly," he said acidly, +"for his kind offer, but perhaps it should be first used by his own +people, the Irish, of whose gambling prowess he is so proud. Surely no +bitterness has lasted longer than that between the Republic of Ireland +and the 'Six Lost Counties' of Northern Ireland. Let the Irish use the +Golden Judge themselves before they counsel it for others!" + +But General O'Reilly was unruffled. "I'm an American, myself," he said, +smiling, "although proud indeed of my Irish blood. And the _Irish_ Irish +will have to speak for themselves, although I venture to say you'll find +them a sporting people indeed. But that's not quite the point, is it? +'Twas you yourself, sir, who praised the Golden Judge so highly. And +you've seen today what fine sportsmen the Chinese are. The point is, are +the _Indians_ a sporting people?" + +"Of course we're a sporting people!" Nehru glared. + +"Then I take it you'd be willing, assuming Pakistan agrees, of course, +but I'm told they're a _very_ sporting people, to--" The general tossed +the coin again, absent-mindedly. + +"All right!" Nehru grated. "If they agree, so do we!" + + * * * * * + +It took a month before Pakistan could agree, and all the arrangements be +made for the Toss on Kashmir. But in that month, the world had other +things to think about. Chiang Kai Shek accepted his gambling loss +without a murmur and removed his troops from Quemoy and Matsu, the +American Seventh Fleet helping, the Communists not interfering. All +civilians on the islands who wished to go to Formosa were taken there. + +Washington said little officially, but in the corridors of the +Pentagon, Congress and the White House, the sighs of relief reached gale +force. General O'Reilly received a confidential and personal message +from the Army Chief of Staff that made him pink with pleasure. + +"May get that third star after all," he told his wife that night. "And +not too long to wait, maybe." + +But, above all, the month was filled with clamor from Ireland. Her +Majesty's Government in Whitehall had immediately issued a communique +which took a glacial view of the "puerile" proposal to toss for Northern +Ireland. It was the timing of this communique, rather than its contents, +that proved a tactical error. It had come too quickly, and Irishmen, +both north and south, resented it. + +As a Belfast newspaper wrote tartly: "Irishmen on both sides of the line +are quite able to decide such matters for themselves, without the +motherly interference of London." + +Dublin agreed in principle to toss, but the wrangling over conditions +and exceptions boiled up into the greatest inter-Irish quarreling of +twenty years. It was still raging when General O'Reilly flew into the +Vale of Kashmir with a broad smile and the Golden Judge. + +Again the great coin glittered high in the air while none other than +Nehru himself called out, tensely: "Heads!" + +It fell "Tails." + +"So be it!" Nehru said calmly, shaking hands with the Governor-General +of Pakistan. + +"Well, general," Nehru said, turning to O'Reilly with a smile, "are you +satisfied now? I think we've proved we're a sporting people. So have the +Chinese, and the Jews and the Arabs. But what about your own folk, the +Irish? From what I read, their sporting qualities seem to be highly +overrated. I'd say they'd never gamble but on a sure thing." + +The general's face went red at the insult, and so, a day later, did the +collective face of all Irishmen, North and South. For a while there was +aghast silence from the Emerald Isle, a silence sullen and embarrassed. +And then a great rumbling roar of indignation. + +"Mr. Speaker!" cried a member of the Dail in Dublin. "Are the Irish +people, who honor great gamblers only a little less than great poets, +to be outdone by dark-skinned heathen? Mr. Speaker, I say _no_!" + +The following morning, the government of Eire formally offered to toss +for the Six Lost Counties and, if the coin fell contrary, to say no more +about them forever. Belfast agreed that same afternoon, and the whole +island went wild with excitement. Hardly any Irishman failed to place +some kind of side bet on the outcome, and stakes were laid that day that +would be spoken of with prideful awe for generations to come. + +The remark of a Limerick drayman was widely quoted. "There's not a man +of us here," he commented in the course of a game of darts at the Sword +and Shamrock, "but would toss a coin for his grandmother's head, and +well ye know it. So after all the blatherin' and yowrin', why not have a +go for the Six Counties, and let the coin decide it now and foriver, +once and for all, win or lose?" + +The British Government surrendered with grace, and offered to play host +to the toss in London, as a neutral place. They soon learned, with +burning ears, that the last place on earth any Irishman considered +neutral was London. + +As a matter of course, General O'Reilly was invited to preside, using +the Golden Judge. Like most Irishmen in America, he had long sung of and +sighed for the Auld Sod, while carefully avoiding going there, even for +a visit. + +He now realized his error. He was received as one of Ireland's most +glorious sons. He was set upon by thousands, perhaps hundreds of +thousands, of proud O'Reillys--there were O'Reillys from the bogs and +O'Reillys from the great houses, O'Reillys in tophats and O'Reillys in +tam o' shanter. He was assured, and came near believing it, that in both +looks and wisdom, he was the spitting image of the Great O'Reilly, one +of the many last rightful Kings of Ireland. A minstrel composed a lay +about him, "The Golden Judge of Ireland"; he was smothered in shamrock, +and could have swum in the gifts of potheen. Secretly he much preferred +Scotch whisky to Irish, but the swarming O'Reillys made the disposal of +the potheen no very great problem. + + * * * * * + +The actual toss took place in a small railroad station, hastily cleaned +up, on the railway line between Dublin and Belfast. Impartial surveyors +had certified it as being exactly astraddle the frontier. + +Amid a deathlike hush, with a high sense of history in his heart, +General O'Reilly flipped the Golden Judge high in the air. + +Eire won. The Six Counties were no longer lost, and there was little +enough work done in Ireland for a fortnight. Eire instantly and +magnanimously granted to her new north all the points that had been +fought over so bitterly for so many years. For the northerners, to their +surprise, life went on exactly as before, except for different postage +stamps, and a changed heading on their income-tax returns, which were +considerably lower. For the first time in many years, there were no +brickbats thrown if a man felt the need, on a summer night, to sing +"God Save the Queen." + +General O'Reilly flew away from Ireland with a mist in his eyes and a +great glow in his heart. In a shaven second, he had achieved the thing +for which long and gallant generations of earlier O'Reillys had fought +bloodily and in vain. For a fleeting moment, he wondered if his nervous +right hand that day had shown any subconscious partisanship, but +rejected the thing as impossible. If the toss for the Six Counties was, +in a way, the crowning peak of General O'Reilly's career, it was by no +means the end of it. Both he and his coin were fast becoming settled +tradition. He continued his normal military career, but with the tacit +understanding he would have a few days' leave of absence whenever the +Golden Judge was needed. + +He took it to Stockholm for the toss that settled the old and bitter +fishing controversy between Britain and Iceland. Britain won. + +He took it to Cairo, where Britain and Greece tossed for Cyprus. Greece +won, and at once offered Britain all the bases she wanted there, and +granted special extraterritorial status to all British colonels, +knights' widows and former governors of the Punjab living in retirement +on the island. + +He got his third star just before he flew down to Rio de Janiero for the +toss that finally settled the nagging quarrel between Britain and +Argentina as to who owned the Falkland Islands. Britain won. + +He took it to The Hague in Holland for the toss about the Saar. The Saar +had remained a European sore point despite a series of Franco-German +"settlements" which never seemed to settle anything. Germany won the +toss, and immediately, of her own free will, granted the French equal +commercial rights. + +The Saar toss had two odd results. The first was purely personal for +General O'Reilly, but he never forgot it. One day, driving through The +Hague, his official car passed a huge dignified building, which his +chauffeur explained was the World Court. With a strange feeling, the +general noticed a solemn old man in black, staring bleakly out the +window. He realized suddenly it was probably a judge, and that the +golden coin in his pocket had turned this costly mechanism into an +anachronism. Nobody used the World Court any more now. + +The other result of the Saar toss was, from the viewpoint of world +jurisprudence, far more important. It transformed the Golden Judge from +a mere tradition into an established legal institution, in this manner: + +France and Germany had been unable to agree whether the Saar was really +_tossable_--a term that soon entered dictionaries--and had appealed to +the United Nations to decide. A temporary or _ad hoc_ United Nations +commission had been named to settle this point and, after due +deliberation, had pronounced the Saar tossable. + +Technically, this "Saar Commission" should have then dissolved itself. +Instead, in the way of parliamentary institutions, it lingered on and +soon became the accepted body to decide on tossability. And, +illogically, it was forever afterwards still called the "Saar +Commission." + +Whenever, anywhere in the world, some international dispute reached +stalemate, it became commonplace for some delegate to rise and say: "Mr. +Chairman, I move the question be referred to the Saar Commission." + +In due course, the Saar Commission would then give its solemn judgment +as to whether or not the dispute should be put to the arbitrament of the +Golden Judge. If so, General O'Reilly would board a plane, and be off. + +Once the Saar Commission had its say, no nation ever dared refuse to put +a dispute to the hazard of the coin. Whereas nations yawned at being +called "warmongers" or "imperialists" or "aggressors" or "international +bandits," none could stand being called "bad sportsmen" or "poor +losers." So many nations had accepted the verdict of the Golden Judge, +that it became increasingly more difficult, not to say impossible, for a +given nation to admit it was less sporting than the others. + + * * * * * + +However, not all disputes were held tossable, to the disappointment of +some people who had too quickly believed the Golden Judge would bring +immediate Utopia, the end of all quarreling forever. Gradually the Saar +Commission evolved certain criteria: + +1. A dispute was not tossable if it might give great populations and +great nations over into systems of government they abhorred; it was +tossable only if the population involved had no very great bias one way +or the other. + +2. A tossable dispute was one in which justice lay on both sides, evenly +balanced. + +3. Tossing was clearly indicated where both sides ardently wished a +settlement, but where neither side was willing to cede an inch, for fear +of losing "face." + +Thus the Saar Commission pronounced untossable the proposal by the +Soviet Union to have the Golden Judge decide whether or not America +should abandon all her overseas bases. It also turned down the +suggestion of an American senator that Russia and the United States +should toss for Soviet withdrawal from all Eastern Europe. It denied the +appeal of an idealistic Dane who wanted a toss to decide whether Germany +should be all Communist or all-Western. It likewise rejected a Swiss +proposal that Chiang Kai Shek and Chou En-Lai should toss again, this +time for Formosa itself. + +In passing, it is of interest to note that only once did Soviet Russia +agree to toss. It was in the matter of her old dispute with Persia over +caviar fishing rights in the Caspian Sea. Persia won but, to the +consternation of the world, Russia refused to abide by the outcome. It +was the first and only time that the decision of the Golden Judge was +not obeyed, and it had startling repercussions. + +All over the world, fellow-travelers abandoned the Soviet cause. They +had been able to find some excuses, however tortuous, for Russian +purges, forced confessions, concentration camps and aggressions, but +they turned away, shocked and saddened, from a nation that openly +welshed on a bet. + +There were strong reactions within Russia itself, +although the convulsions were largely screened from Western eyes. +However, an unprecedented number of Russians fled across the Iron +Curtain, seeking asylum in the West. They said gloomily they could no +longer support a regime that reneged on its fair gambling losses, and +protested fiercely this was not the true soul of Russia. + +In a gallant effort to recoup face for Russian sportsmanship, many of +these refugees grimly began playing almost non-stop games of "Russian +roulette," which gives the player a five-to-one chance of living. Some +extreme chauvinists proudly reduced the odds to three-to-one by +inserting two bullets, and a former Red Army major named Tolbunin even +used three. His _tour de force_ was widely admired, although not +repeated, and Tolbunin himself was given a magnificent funeral. + +Yet, except for the Caspian caviar toss, the Golden Judge was obeyed as +unquestioningly as the Voice from Sinai, and perhaps more so. And if it +could be used only in what some called "minor" disputes, it was +surprising to see, once these were settled, how really few "major" ones +remained. It is impossible here, of course, to list more than a few of +General O'Reilly's tosses, but he flew to nearly every spot on earth, a +beloved world figure. + +He flew to Ethiopia--and caught malaria there--to settle an old quarrel +between that country and the Sudan over a one-square-mile Sudanese +enclave named Gambela, well inside Ethiopia. A relic of the times when +Britain controlled the Sudan, Gambela had long been a thorn in the side +of the Conquering Lion of Judah. Although the Negus lost, he accepted +the verdict as uncomplainingly as earlier disputants, some three +thousand years before, had once accepted the awards of his putative +ancestor, King Solomon. + +General O'Reilly ended a tiny but poisonous quarrel of many years' +standing as to whether British Honduras should become a part of the +Republic of Honduras. Britain won. + + * * * * * + +In an epic tour in 1973 that left the world gasping with admiration, +General O'Reilly spread lasting balm on many sores in the Middle East. +The Golden Judge settled--in favor of Pakistan--her friction with +Afghanistan over the long-disputed Pathan territory. Saudi Arabia won +from Britain two small and completely worthless oases on the undefined +border between Saudi Arabia and Trucial Oman. These oases had, over the +years, produced many hot and vain notes, and desultory shooting, but the +Lord of Saudi Arabia was subsequently much disappointed that they never +produced oil. He was further dismayed when the Golden Judge awarded to +Iraq a "neutral zone" between the two countries, on which they had never +been able to agree, and this zone did, in fact, produce tremendous +amounts of oil. However, he complained only to Allah. + +Syria and Turkey resorted to the toss to decide about the Sanjak of +Alexandretta (Iskanderun) which Turkey had been given by France back in +the Thirties, when France ran Syria. Turkey won. Damascus sighed but +smiled, and reopened diplomatic relations with Ankara that had been +severed for more than twenty years. + +But on a golden January day in 1975, in Malaga, Spain, General +O'Reilly's aide-de-camp noticed that his chief seemed strangely +preoccupied. The occasion was a toss between Sweden and Finland as to +the possession of four large rocks lying in the sea at the head of the +Gulf of Bothnia, just off the Finno-Swedish frontier. These rocks, just +south of the Arctic circle, contained no population other than sea +gulls, but had been warmly claimed by both nations for years. And since +the weather in Scandinavia in January is miserable, the Finns and Swedes +had sagely decided to hold the toss in Malaga, which was as far south as +they could go and still be in Europe. + +In public, General O'Reilly was himself--charming, dependable, cheerful. +He carried out the toss as gracefully as he had all the others, and he +made a winning speech at the banquet given by the Finns that night to +celebrate their acquisition of the four sub-Arctic rocks. + +But the A.D.C. was not deluded and later, on the flight back to +Washington, he observed that General O'Reilly was unusually abstracted +and pensive, lost in thought. But since a major does not ask a +lieutenant general about such matters, he kept silent. + +The fact was that the general had now reached sixty-five, and in the +American Army, sixty-five is retirement age. As the ocean fled away +under the racing plane, he was remembering a scene the week before in +the office of the Army Chief of Staff. + +"It's up to you, Terry," the Chief of Staff had said. "You know +perfectly well that the President is willing, even eager, to keep you on +past the retirement age. You're a big man in the world now. You can stay +on the active list as long as you want. If necessary, he'll ask a +special law, and there won't be one vote against it." + +Then the general remembered his wife: "You've done enough, darling. It's +time we had a real permanent home for once in our lives. That garden for +me, those Aberdeen Angus for you--remember? You've traveled too much; +you've never really gotten over that malaria. Darling, you need a rest. +You've earned it." + +The general gazed out the plane window, trying to make up his mind. Then +suddenly he chuckled. The A.D.C. saw him pull a leather case out of +his pocket and watched, puzzled, as a golden coin spun briefly in the +air. + +The general caught it on the back of his left hand, covering it with +his right. Then he removed the right, looked at it. + +He chuckled again. + + * * * * * + +When General O'Reilly retired the following week, the President asked +Congress for a fourth star for him and, in a special message, listed in +glowing terms the services he had rendered to America and the world. The +bill passed without a murmur, and Terence Patrick O'Reilly became at +last a full general. + +Messages poured in from nearly every country in the world, from dozens +of presidents and premiers, and the handful of remaining kings. Along +with them came hundreds of gifts. They included a carved elephant tusk +from Nepal, a Royal Copenhagen dinner service for twenty-four from the +Kingdom of Denmark, a one-rupee note from a ten-year-old girl in Bombay +and--a gesture that excited much speculation--a case of caviar from the +Kremlin. + +The Department of Defense announced that General O'Reilly had become the +most decorated soldier ever to wear American uniform. In every toss, +each of the rival sides had awarded him some kind of decoration. When he +wore full-dress uniform, the ribbons solidly covered both sides of his +tunic, and he was nearly strangled with various stars and orders that +dangled from ribbons around his neck. + +"He retired just in time," his wife told her daughter-in-law one day at +tea. "There's not another square inch left for another ribbon." + +General O'Reilly presented the Golden Judge to the United Nations, and +the King of Saudi Arabia proved his sportsmanship by having a +theft-proof case made for it of solid crystal, so that it could be on +public display. It was soon as visited and cherished as the Magna Carta +and the Liberty Bell. A night and day guard stood watch over it. + +Yet it was far from a useless relic. Often the crystal case was empty, +and this meant it was seeing service somewhere in the world, in the +hands of a Swedish general who had finally been chosen by the United +Nations to succeed Terence O'Reilly. + +In his final press interview, General O'Reilly unburdened himself of +some thoughts which--refined--have passed into international +jurisprudence under the name of O'Reilly's Law. + +"For thousands of years," the general said thoughtfully, "mankind has +been making all kinds of commandments and laws and prohibitions and +contracts and treaties--and broken them all when the mood suited them. +Perhaps it's a sad thing to say, but so far nothing's ever been invented +that men will really live up to more than the terms of a bet. With very, +very few exceptions, a man--or a nation--will respect a bet when he +won't respect any other damned thing on earth!" + + +THE END + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Golden Judge, by Nathaniel Gordon + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GOLDEN JUDGE *** + +***** This file should be named 24495.txt or 24495.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/4/4/9/24495/ + +Produced by Greg Weeks and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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