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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/24197-8.txt b/24197-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..90e19ee --- /dev/null +++ b/24197-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,7700 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Tinted Venus, by F. Anstey + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Tinted Venus + A Farcical Romance + +Author: F. Anstey + +Illustrator: Bernard Partridge + +Release Date: January 7, 2008 [EBook #24197] +[Last updated: September 14, 2020] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE TINTED VENUS *** + + + + +Produced by David Clarke, Annie McGuire and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This +file was produced from images generously made available +by The Internet Archive/Canadian Libraries) + + + + + + + + + +******************************************************* +Transcriber's Note: The author was inconsistent in the +use of single quotes in contracted words. All have +been retained as in the original. +******************************************************* + + + + +THE TINTED VENUS +A Farcical Romance + +BY + +F. ANSTEY + +AUTHOR OF +"THE GIANT'S ROBE," "VICE VERSÂ," ETC. + +ILLUSTRATED BY BERNARD PARTRIDGE + +NEW YORK AND LONDON +HARPER AND BROTHERS +1898 + + + + + "To you, + Free and ingenious spirits, he doth now + In me, present his service, with his vow + He hath done his best; and, though he cannot glory + In his invention (this work being a story + Of reverend antiquity), he doth hope + In the proportion of it, and the scope, + You may observe some pieces drawn like one + Of a steadfast hand; and with the whiter stone + To be marked in your fair censures. More than this + I am forbid to promise." + + MASSINGER. + + + + +CONTENTS. + + + PAGE + + I. IN PURSUIT OF PLEASURE 3 + + II. PLEASURE IN PURSUIT 27 + + III. A DISTINGUISHED STRANGER 43 + + IV. FROM BAD TO WORSE 55 + + V. AN EXPERIMENT 77 + + VI. TWO ARE COMPANY 93 + + VII. A FURTHER PREDICAMENT 109 + + VIII. BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND THE DEEP SEA 127 + + IX. AT LAST! 151 + + X. DAMOCLES DINES OUT 169 + + XI. DENOUNCED 189 + + XII. AN APPEAL 207 + + XIII. THE LAST STRAW 227 + + XIV. THE THIRTEENTH TRUMP 241 + + XV. THE ODD TRICK 263 + + + + +LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS. + + + PAGE + + "THERE," HE SAID TRIUMPHANTLY, "IT MIGHT HAVE + BEEN MADE FOR HER!" 25 + + "ANSWER ME," HE SAID ROUGHLY; "IS THIS SOME LARK + OF YOURS?" 32 + + "DID YOU WANT TO SEE ME ON--ON BUSINESS, MUM?" 47 + + "WHAT WOULD BE DONE TO HIM?" ASKED THE HAIRDRESSER, + WITH A QUITE UNPLEASANT INTERNAL + SENSATION 67 + + "KEEP OFF! TELL HER TO DROP IT, TWEDDLE!" 86 + + "IT IS A MISERABLE THING," HE WAS THINKING, "FOR + A MAN ... TO HAVE A FEMALE STATUE TROTTING + AFTER HIM LIKE A GREAT DORG" 104 + + SHE WAS STANDING BEFORE THE LOW CHIMNEY-GLASS, + REGARDING HERSELF INTENTLY 119 + + "FOR 'ARF A PINT I'D KNOCK YOUR BLOOMIN' 'ED IN!" 140 + + "WHY DID YOU NOT KNEEL TO ME BEFORE?" 161 + + SHE STRUCK A NAMELESS FEAR INTO LEANDER'S SOUL 177 + + HER HANDS WERE UNSTEADY WITH PASSION AS SHE TIED + HER BONNET-STRINGS 199 + + LEANDER WENT DOWN ON ALL FOURS ON THE HEARTH-RUG 220 + + "STOP WHERE YOU ARE!... FOR MERCY'S SAKE, DON'T COME IN!" 238 + + "LEANDER!" SHE CRIED, ... "I DON'T BELIEVE SHE + CAN DO IT!" 255 + + HE THREW HIMSELF DOWN BY HER CHAIR, AND DREW + DOWN THE HANDS IN WHICH SHE HAD HIDDEN HER + FACE 276 + + + + +IN PURSUIT OF PLEASURE + +I. + + "Ther hopped Hawkyn, + Ther daunsed Dawkyn, + Ther trumped Tomkyn...." + + _The Tournament of Tottenham._ + + +In Southampton Row, Bloomsbury, there is a small alley or passage +leading into Queen Square, and rendered inaccessible to all but foot +passengers by some iron posts. The shops in this passage are of a +subdued exterior, and are overshadowed by a dingy old edifice dedicated +to St. George the Martyr, which seems to have begun its existence as a +rather handsome chapel, and to have improved itself, by a sort of +evolution, into a singularly ugly church. + +Into this alley, one Saturday afternoon late in October, came a short +stout young man, with sandy hair, and a perpetual grin denoting +anticipation rather than enjoyment. Opposite the church he stopped at a +hairdresser's shop, which bore the name of Tweddle. The display in the +window was chastely severe; the conventional half-lady revolving slowly +in fatuous self-satisfaction, and the gentleman bearing a piebald beard +with waxen resignation, were not to be found in this shop-front, which +exhibited nothing but a small pile of toilet remedies and a few lengths +of hair of graduated tints. It was doubtful, perhaps, whether such +self-restraint on the part of its proprietor was the result of a +distaste for empty show, or a conviction that the neighbourhood did not +expect it. + +Inside the shop there was nobody but a small boy, corking and labelling +bottles; but before he could answer any question as to the whereabouts +of his employer, that artist made his appearance. Leander Tweddle was +about thirty, of middle height, with a luxuriant head of brown hair, and +carefully-trimmed whiskers that curled round towards his upper lip, +where they spent themselves in a faint moustache. His eyes were rather +small, and his nose had a decided upward tendency; but, with his +pink-and-white complexion and compact well-made figure, he was far from +ill-looking, though he thought himself even farther. + +"Well, Jauncy," he said, after the first greetings, "so you haven't +forgot our appointment?" + +"Why, no," explained his friend; "but I never thought I should get away +in time to keep it. We've been in court all the morning with motions and +short causes, and the old Vice sat on till past three; and when we did +get back to chambers, Splitter kep' me there discussing an opinion of +his I couldn't agree with, and I was ever so long before I got him to +alter it my way." + +For he was clerk to a barrister in good practice, and it was Jauncy's +pride to discover an occasional verbal slip in some of his employer's +more hastily written opinions on cases, and suggest improvements. + +"Well, James," said the hairdresser, "I don't know that I could have got +away myself any earlier. I've been so absorbed in the laborrit'ry, what +with three rejuvenators and an elixir all on the simmer together, I +almost gave way under the strain of it; but they're set to cool now, and +I'm ready to go as soon as you please." + +"Now," said Jauncy, briskly, as they left the shop together, "if we're +to get up to Rosherwich Gardens to-night, we mustn't dawdle." + +"I just want to look in here a minute," said Tweddle, stopping before +the window of a working-jeweller, who sat there in a narrow partition +facing the light, with a great horn lens protruding from one of his eyes +like a monstrous growth. "I left something there to be altered, and I +may as well see if it's done." + +Apparently it was done, for he came out almost immediately, thrusting a +small cardboard box into his pocket as he rejoined his friend. "Now we'd +better take a cab up to Fenchurch Street," said Jauncy. "Can't keep +those girls standing about on the platform." + +As they drove along, Tweddle observed, "I didn't understand that our +party was to include the fair sect, James?" + +"Didn't you? I thought my letter said so plain enough. I'm an engaged +man now, you know, Tweddle. It wouldn't do if I went out to enjoy myself +and left my young lady at home!" + +"No," agreed Leander Tweddle, with a moral twinge, "no, James. I'd +forgot you were engaged. What's the lady's name, by-the-by?" + +"Parkinson; Bella Parkinson," was the answer. + +Leander had turned a deeper colour. "Did you say," he asked, looking out +of the window on his side of the hansom, "that there was another lady +going down?" + +"Only Bella's sister, Ada. She's a regular jolly girl, Ada is, +you'll----Hullo!" + +For Tweddle had suddenly thrust his stick up the trap and stopped the +cab. "I'm very sorry, James," he said, preparing to get out, "but--but +you'll have to excuse me being of your company." + +"Do you mean that my Bella and her sister are not good enough company +for you?" demanded Jauncy. "You were a shop-assistant yourself, Tweddle, +only a short while ago!" + +"I know that, James, I know; and it isn't that--far from it. I'm sure +they are two as respectable girls, and quite the ladies in every +respect, as I'd wish to meet. Only the fact is----" + +The driver was listening through the trap, and before Leander would say +more he told him to drive on till further orders, after which he +continued-- + +"The fact is--we haven't met for so long that I dare say you're unaware +of it--but _I'm_ engaged, James, too!" + +"Wish you joy with all my heart, Tweddle; but what then?" + +"Why," exclaimed Leander, "my Matilda (that's _her_ name) is the dearest +girl, James; but she's most uncommon partickler, and I don't think she'd +like my going to a place of open-air entertainment where there's +dancing--and I'll get out here, please!" + +"Gammon!" said Jauncy. "That isn't it, Tweddle; don't try and humbug me. +You were ready enough to go just now. You've a better reason than that!" + +"James, I'll tell you the truth; I have. In earlier days, James, I used +constantly to be meeting Miss Parkinson and her sister in serciety, and +I dare say I made myself so pleasant and agreeable (you know what a way +that is of mine), that Miss Ada (not _your_ lady, of course) may have +thought I meant something special by it, and there's no saying but what +it might have come in time to our keeping company, only I happened just +then to see Matilda, and--and I haven't been near the Parkinsons ever +since. So you can see for yourself that a meeting might be awkward for +all parties concerned; and I really must get out, James!" + +Jauncy forced him back. "It's all nonsense, Tweddle," he said, "you +can't back out of it now! Don't make a fuss about nothing. Ada don't +look as if she'd been breaking her heart for you!" + +"You never can tell with women," said the hairdresser, sententiously; +"and meeting me sudden, and learning it could never be--no one can say +how she mightn't take it!" + +"I call it too bad!" exclaimed Jauncy. "Here have I been counting on you +to make the ladies enjoy themselves--for I haven't your gift of +entertaining conversation, and don't pretend to it--and you go and leave +me in the lurch, and spoil their evening for them!" + +"If I thought I was doing that----" said Leander, hesitating. + +"You are, you know you are!" persisted Jauncy, who was naturally anxious +to avoid the reduction of his party to so inconvenient a number as +three. + +"And see here, Tweddle, you needn't say anything of your engagement +unless you like. I give you my word I won't, not even to Bella, if +you'll only come! As to Ada, she can take care of herself, unless I'm +very much mistaken in her. So come along, like a good chap!" + +"I give in, James; I give in," said Leander. "A promise is a promise, +and yet I feel somehow I'm doing wrong to go, and as if no good would +come of it. I do indeed!" + +And so he did not stop the cab a second time, and allowed himself to be +taken without further protest to Fenchurch Street Station, on the +platform of which they found the Misses Parkinson waiting for them. + +Miss Bella Parkinson, the elder of the two, who was employed in a large +toy and fancy goods establishment in the neighbourhood of Westbourne +Grove, was tall and slim, with pale eyes and auburn hair. She had some +claims to good looks, in spite of a slightly pasty complexion, and a +large and decidedly unamiable mouth. + +Her sister Ada was the more pleasing in appearance and manner, a +brunette with large brown eyes, an impertinent little nose, and a +brilliant healthy colour. She was an assistant to a milliner and +bonnet-maker in the Edgware Road. + +Both these young ladies, when in the fulfilment of their daily duties, +were models of deportment; in their hours of ease, the elder's cold +dignity was rather apt to turn to peevishness, while the younger sister, +relieved from the restraints of the showroom, betrayed a lively and even +frivolous disposition. + +It was this liveliness and frivolity that had fascinated the hairdresser +in days that had gone by; but if he had felt any self-distrust now in +venturing within their influence, such apprehensions vanished with the +first sight of the charms which had been counteracted before they had +time to prevail. + +She was well enough, this Miss Ada Parkinson, he thought now; a +nice-looking girl in her way, and stylishly dressed. But his Matilda +looked twice the lady she ever could, and a vision of his betrothed (at +that time taking a week's rest in the country) rose before him, as if to +justify and confirm his preference. + +The luckless James had to undergo some amount of scolding from Miss +Bella for his want of punctuality, a scolding which merely supplied an +object to his grin; and during her remarks, Ada had ample time to rally +Leander Tweddle upon his long neglect, and used it to the best +advantage. + +Perhaps he would have been better pleased by a little less +insensibility, a touch of surprise and pleasure on her part at meeting +him again, as he allowed himself to show in a remark that his absence +did not seem to have affected her to any great extent. + +"I don't know what you expected, Mr. Tweddle," she replied. "Ought I to +have cried both my eyes out? You haven't cried out either of yours, you +know!" + +"'Men must work, and women must weep,' as Shakspeare says," he observed, +with a vague idea that he was making rather an apt quotation. But his +companion pointed out that this only applied to cases where the women +had something to weep about. + +The party had a compartment to themselves, and Leander, who sat at one +end opposite to Ada, found his spirits rising under the influence of her +lively sallies. + +"That's the only thing Matilda wants," he thought, "a little more +liveliness and go about her. I like a little chaff myself, now and then, +I must say." + +At the other end of the carriage, Bella had been suggesting that the +gardens might be closed so late in the year, and regretting that they +had not chosen the new melodrama at the Adelphi instead; which caused +Jauncy to draw glowing pictures of the attractions of Rosherwich +Gardens. + +"I was there a year ago last summer," he said, "and it was first-rate: +open-air dancing, summer theatre, rope-walking, fireworks, and supper +out under the trees. You'll enjoy yourself, Bella, right enough when you +get there!" + +"If that isn't enough for you, Bella," cried her sister, "you must be +difficult to please! I'm sure I'm quite looking forward to it; aren't +you, Mr. Tweddle?" + +The poor man was cursed by the fatal desire of pleasing, and +unconsciously threw an altogether unnecessary degree of _empressement_ +into his voice as he replied, "In the company I am at present, I should +look forward to it, if it was a wilderness with a funeral in it." + +"Oh dear me, Mr. Tweddle, that _is_ a pretty speech!" said Ada, and she +blushed in a manner which appalled the conscience-stricken hairdresser. + +"There I go again," he thought remorsefully, "putting things in the poor +girl's head--it ain't right. I'm making myself too pleasant!" + +And then it struck him that it would be only prudent to make his +position clearly understood, and, carefully lowering his voice, he began +a speech with that excellent intention. "Miss Parkinson," he said +huskily, "there's something I have to tell you about myself, very +particular. Since I last enjoyed the pleasure of meeting with you my +prospects have greatly altered, I am no longer----" + +But she cut him short with a little gesture of entreaty. "Oh, not here, +please, Mr. Tweddle," she said; "tell me about it in the gardens!" + +"Very well," he said, relieved; "remind me when we get there--in case I +forget, you know." + +"Remind you!" cried Ada; "the _idea_, Mr. Tweddle! I certainly shan't do +any such thing." + +"She thinks I am going to propose to her!" he thought ruefully; "it will +be a delicate business undeceiving her. I wish it was over and done +with!" + +It was quite dark by the time they had crossed the river by the ferry, +and made their way up to the entrance to the pleasure gardens, imposing +enough, with its white colonnade, its sphinxes, and lines of coloured +lamps. + +But no one else had crossed with them; and, as they stood at the +turnstiles, all they could see of the grounds beyond seemed so dark and +silent that they began to have involuntary misgivings. "I suppose," +said Jauncy to the man at the ticket-hole, "the gardens are open--eh?" + +"Oh yes," he said gruffly, "_they're_ open--they're _open_; though there +ain't much going on out-of-doors, being the last night of the season." + +Bella again wished that they had selected the Adelphi for their +evening's pleasure, and remarked that Jauncy "might have known." + +"Well," said the latter to the party generally, "what do you say--shall +we go in, or get back by the first train home?" + +"Don't be so ridiculous, James!" said Bella, peevishly. "What's the good +of going back, to be too late for everything. The mischief's done now." + +"Oh, let's go in!" advised Ada; "the amusements and things will be just +as nice indoors--nicer on a chilly evening like this;" and Leander +seconded her heartily. + +So they went in; Jauncy leading the way with the still complaining +Bella, and Leander Tweddle bringing up the rear with Ada. They picked +their way as well as they could in the darkness, caused by the closely +planted trees and shrubs, down a winding path, where the sopped leaves +gave a slippery foothold, and the branches flicked moisture insultingly +in their faces as they pushed them aside. + +A dead silence reigned everywhere, broken only by the wind as it rustled +amongst the bare twigs, or the whistling of a flaring gas-torch +protruding from some convenient tree. + +Jauncy occasionally shouted back some desperate essay at jocularity, at +which Ada laughed with some perseverance, until even she could no longer +resist the influence of the surroundings. + +On a hot summer's evening those grounds, brilliantly illuminated and +crowded by holiday-makers, have been the delight of thousands of honest +Londoners, and will be so again; but it was undeniable that on this +particular occasion they were pervaded by a decent melancholy. + +Ada had slipped a hand, clad in crimson silk, through Leander's arm as +they groped through the gloom together, and shrank to his side now and +then in an alarm which was only half pretended. But if her light +pressure upon his arm made his heart beat at all the faster, it was only +at the fancy that the trusting hand was his Matilda's, or so at least +did he account for it to himself afterwards. + +They followed on, down a broad promenade, where the ground glistened +with autumn damps, and the unlighted lamps looked wan and spectral. +There was a bear-pit hard by, over the railings of which Ada leaned and +shouted a defiant "Boo;" but the bears had turned in for the night, and +the stone re-echoed her voice with a hollow ring. Indistinct bird forms +were roosting in cages; but her umbrella had no effect upon them. + +Jauncy was waiting for them to come up, perhaps as a protection against +his _fiancée's_ reproaches. "In another hour," he said, with an implied +apology, "you'll see how different this place looks. We--we're come a +little too early. Suppose we fill up the time by a nice little dinner at +the Restorong--eh, Ada? What do you think, Tweddle?" + +The suggestion was received favourably, and Jauncy, thankful to retrieve +his reputation as leader, took them towards the spot where food was to +be had. + +Presently they saw lights twinkling through the trees, and came to a +place which was clearly the focus of festivity. There was the open-air +theatre, its drop-scene lowered, its proscenium lost in the gloom; +there was the circle for _al-fresco_ dancing, but it was bare, and the +clustered lights were dead; there was the restaurant, dark and silent +like all else. + +Jauncy stood there and rubbed his chin. "This is where I dined when we +were here last," he said, at length; "and a capital little dinner they +gave us too!" + +"What _I_ should like to know," said the elder Miss Parkinson, "is, +where are we to dine to-night?" + +"Yes," said Jauncy, encouragingly; "don't you fret yourself, Bella. +Here's an old party sweeping up leaves, we'll ask him." + +They did so, and were referred to a large building, in the Gothic style, +with a Tudor doorway, known as the "Baronial All," where lights shone +behind the painted windows. + +Inside, a few of the lamps around the pillars were lighted, and the body +of the floor was roped in as if for dancing; but the hall was empty, +save for a barmaid, assisted by a sharp little girl, behind the long bar +on one of its sides. + +Jauncy led his dejected little party up to this, and again put his +inquiry with less hopefulness. When he found that the only available +form of refreshment that evening was bitter ale and captain's biscuits, +mitigated by occasional caraway seeds, he became a truly pitiable +object. + +"They--they don't keep this place up on the same scale in the autumn, +you see," he explained weakly. "It's very different in summer; what they +call 'an endless round of amusements.'" + +"There's an endless round of amusement now," observed Ada; "but it's a +naught!" + +"Oh, there'll be something going on by-and-by, never fear," said Jauncy, +determined to be sanguine; "or else they wouldn't be open." + +"There'll be dancing here this evening," the barmaid informed him. "That +is all we open for at this time of year; and this is the last night of +the season." + +"Oh!" said Jauncy, cheerfully; "you see we only came just in time, +Bella; and I suppose you'll have a good many down here to-night--eh, +miss?" + +"How much did we take last Saturday, Jenny?" said the barmaid to the +sharp little girl. + +"Seven and fourpence 'ap'ny--most of it beer," said the child. +"Margaret, I may count the money again to-night, mayn't I?" + +The barmaid made some mental calculation, after which she replied to +Jauncy's question. "We may have some fifteen couples or so down +to-night," she said; "but that won't be for half an hour yet." + +"The question is," said Jauncy, trying to bear up under this last blow; +"the question is, How are we to amuse ourselves till the dancing +begins?" + +"I don't know what others are going to do," Bella announced; "but I +shall stay here, James, and keep warm--if I can!" and once more she +uttered her regret that they had not gone to the Adelphi. + +Her sister declined to follow her example. "I mean to see all there is +to be seen," she declared, "since we are here; and perhaps Mr. Tweddle +will come and take care of me. Will you, Mr. Tweddle?" + +He was not sorry to comply, and they wandered out together through the +grounds, which offered considerable variety. There were alleys lined +with pale plaster statues, and a grove dedicated to the master minds of +the world, represented by huge busts, with more or less appropriate +quotations. There were alcoves, too, and neatly ruined castles. + +Ada talked almost the whole time in a sprightly manner, which gave +Leander no opportunity of introducing the subject of his engagement, and +this continued until they had reached a small battlemented platform on +some rising ground; below were the black masses of trees, with a faint +fringe of light here and there; beyond lay the Thames, in which red and +white reflections quivered, and from whose distant bends and reaches +came the dull roar of fog-horns and the pantings of tugs. + +Ada stood here in silence for some time; at last she said, "After all, +I'm not sorry we came--are _you_?" + +"If I don't take care what I say, I _may_ be!" he thought, and answered +guardedly, "On the contrary, I'm glad, for it gives me the opportunity +of telling you something I--I think you ought to know." + +"What was he going to say next?" she thought. Was a declaration coming, +and if so, should she accept him? She was not sure; he had behaved very +badly in keeping so long away from her, and a proposal would be a very +suitable form of apology; but there was the gentleman who travelled for +a certain firm in the Edgware Road, he had been very "particular" in his +attentions of late. Well, she would see how she felt when Leander had +spoken; he was beginning to speak now. + +"I don't want to put it too abrupt," he said; "I'll come to it +gradually. There's a young lady that I'm now looking forward to spending +the whole of my future life with." + +"And what is she called?" asked Ada. ("He's rather a nice little man, +after all!" she was thinking.) + +"Matilda," he said; and the answer came like a blow in the face. For the +moment she hated him as bitterly as if he had been all the world to +her; but she carried off her mortification by a rather hysterical laugh. + +"Fancy you being engaged!" she said, by way of explanation of her +merriment; "and to any one with the name of Matilda--it's such a stupid +sounding sort of name!" + +"It ain't at all; it all depends how you say it. If you pronounce it +like I do, _Matilda_, it has rather a pretty sound. You try now." + +"Well, we won't quarrel about it, Mr. Tweddle; I'm glad it isn't my +name, that's all. And now tell me all about your young lady. What's her +other name, and is she very good-looking?" + +"She's a Miss Matilda Collum," said he; "she is considered handsome by +competent judges, and she keeps the books at a florist's in the vicinity +of Bayswater." + +"And, if it isn't a rude question, why didn't you bring her with you +this evening?" + +"Because she's away for a short holiday, and isn't coming back till the +last thing to-morrow night." + +"And I suppose you've been wishing I was Matilda all the time?" she said +audaciously; for Miss Ada Parkinson was not an over-scrupulous young +person, and did not recognize in the fact of her friend's engagement any +reason why she should not attempt to reclaim his vagrant admiration. + +Leander _had_ been guilty of this wish once or twice; but though he was +not absolutely overflowing with tact, he did refrain from admitting the +impeachment. + +"Well, you see," he said, in not very happy evasion, "Matilda doesn't +care about this kind of thing; she's rather particular, Matilda is." + +"And I'm not!" said Ada. "I see; thank you, Mr. Tweddle!" + +"You do take one up so!" he complained. "I never intended nothing of the +sort--far from it." + +"Well, then, I forgive you; we can't all be Matildas, I suppose. And +now, suppose we go back; they will be beginning to dance by now!" + +"With pleasure," he said; "only you must excuse me dancing, because, as +an engaged man, I have had to renounce (except with one person) the +charms of Terpsy-chore. I mean," he explained condescendingly, "that I +can't dance in public save with my intended." + +"Ah, well," said Ada, "perhaps Terpsy-chore will get over it; still I +should like to see the Terpsy-choring, if you have no objection." + +And they returned to the Baronial Hall, which by this time presented a +more cheerful appearance. The lamps round the mirror-lined pillars were +all lit, and the musicians were just striking up the opening bars of the +Lancers; upon which several gentlemen amongst the assembly, which now +numbered about forty, ran out into the open and took up positions, like +colour-sergeants at drill, to be presently joined, in some bashfulness, +by such ladies as desired partners. + +The Lancers were performed with extreme conscientiousness; and when it +was over, every gentleman with any _savoir faire_ to speak of presented +his partner with a glass of beer. + +Then came a waltz, to which Ada beat time impatiently with her foot, and +bit her lip, as she had to look on by Leander's side. + +"There's Bella and James going round," she said; "I've never had to sit +out a waltz before!" + +He felt the implied reproach, and thought whether there could be any +harm, after all, in taking a turn or two; it would be only polite. But, +before he could recant in words, a soldier came up, a medium-sized +warrior with a large nose and round little eyes, who had been very funny +during the Lancers in directing all the figures by words of military +command. + +"Will you allow me the honour, miss, of just one round?" he said to Ada, +respectfully enough. + +The etiquette of this ballroom was not of the strictest; but she would +not have consented but for the desire of showing Leander that she was +not dependent upon him for her amusement. As it was, she accepted the +corporal's arm a little defiantly. + +Leander watched them round the hall with an odd sensation, almost of +jealousy--it was quite ridiculous, because he could have danced with Ada +himself had he cared to do so; and besides, it was not she, but Matilda, +whom he adored. + +But, as he began to notice, Ada was looking remarkably pretty that +evening, and really was a partner who would bring any one credit; and +her corporal danced villainously, revolving with stiff and wooden jerks, +like a toy soldier. Now Leander flattered himself he could waltz--having +had considerable practice in bygone days in a select assembly, where the +tickets were two shillings each, and the gentlemen, as the notices said +ambiguously enough, "were restricted to wearing gloves." + +So he felt indignantly that Ada was not having justice done to her. +"I've a good mind to give her a turn," he thought, "and show them all +what waltzing is!" + +Just then the pair happened to come to a halt close to him. "Shockin' +time they're playing this waltz in," he heard the soldier exclaim with +humorous vivacity (he was apparently the funny man of the regiment, and +had brought a silent but appreciative comrade with him as audience), +"abominable! excruciatin'! comic!! 'orrible!!!" + +Leander seized the opportunity. "Excuse me," he said politely, "but if +you don't like the music, perhaps you wouldn't mind giving up this young +lady to me?" + +"Oh come, I say!" said the man of war, running his fingers through his +short curly hair; "my good feller, you'd better see what the lady says +to that!" (He evidently had no doubt himself.) + +"I'm very well content as I am, thank you all the same, Mr. Tweddle," +said Ada, unkindly adding in a lower tone, "If you're so anxious to +dance, dance with Terpsy-chore!" + +And again he was left to watch the whirling couples with melancholy +eyes. The corporal's brother-in-arms was wheeling round with a plain +young person, apparently in domestic service, whose face was overspread +by a large red smile of satiated ambition. James and Bella flitted by, +dancing vigorously, and Bella's discontent seemed to have vanished for +the time. There were jigging couples and prancing couples; couples that +bounced round like imprisoned bees, and couples that glided past in calm +and conscious superiority. He alone stood apart, excluded from the happy +throng, and he began to have a pathetic sense of injury. + +But the music stopped at last, and Ada, dismissing her partner, came +towards him. "You don't seem to be enjoying yourself, Mr. Tweddle," she +said maliciously. + +"Don't I?" he replied. "Well, so long as you are, it don't matter, Miss +Parkinson--it don't matter." + +"But I'm not--at least, I didn't that dance," she said. "That soldier +man did talk such rubbish, and he trod on my feet twice. I'm so hot! I +wonder if it's cooler outside?" + +"Will you come and see?" he suggested, and this time she did not disdain +his arm, and they strolled out together. + +Following a path they had hitherto left unexplored, they came to a +little enclosure surrounded by tall shrubs; in the centre, upon a low +pedestal, stood a female statue, upon which a gas lamp, some paces off, +cast a flickering gleam athwart the foliage. + +The exceptional grace and beauty of the figure would have been apparent +to any lover of art. She stood there, her right arm raised, partly in +gracious invitation, partly in queenly command, her left hand extended, +palm downwards, as if to be reverentially saluted. The hair was parted +in boldly indicated waves over the broad low brow, and confined by a +fillet in a large loose knot at the back. She was clad in a long chiton, +which lapped in soft zig-zag folds over the girdle and fell to the feet +in straight parallel lines, and a chlamys hanging from her shoulders +concealed the left arm to the elbow, while it left the right arm free. + +In the uncertain light one could easily fancy soft eyes swimming in +those wide blank sockets, and the ripe lips were curved by a dreamy +smile, at once tender and disdainful. + +Leander Tweddle and Miss Ada Parkinson, however, stood before the statue +in an unmoved, not to say critical, mood. + +"Who's she supposed to be, I wonder?" asked the young lady, rather as if +the sculptor were a harmless lunatic whose delusions took a marble shape +occasionally. This, by the way, is a question which may frequently be +heard in picture galleries, and implies an enlightened tolerance. + +"I don't know," said Leander; "a foreign female, I fancy--that's +Russian on the pedestal." He inferred this from a resemblance to the +characters on certain packets of cigarettes. + +"But there's some English underneath," said Ada; "I can just make it +out. Ap--Apro--Aprodyte. What a funny name!" + +"You haven't prenounced it quite correckly," he said; "out there they +sound the ph like a f, and give all the syllables--Afroddity." He felt a +kind of intuition that this was nearer the correct rendering. + +"Well," observed Ada, "she's got a silly look, don't you think?" + +Leander was less narrow, and gave it as his opinion that she had been +"done from a fine woman." + +Ada remarked that she herself would never consent to be taken in so +unbecoming a costume. "One might as well have no figure at all in things +hanging down for all the world like a sack," she said. + +Proceeding to details, she was struck by the smallness of the hands; and +it must be admitted that, although the statue as a whole was slightly +above the average female height, the arms from the elbow downwards, and +particularly the hands, were by no means in proportion, and almost +justified Miss Parkinson's objection, that "no woman could have hands so +small as that." + +"I know some one who has--quite as small," said he softly. + +Ada instantly drew off one of the crimson gloves and held out her hand +beside the statue's. It was a well-shaped hand, as she very well knew, +but it was decidedly larger than the one with which she compared it. "I +_said_ so," she observed; "now are you satisfied, Mr. Tweddle?" + +But he had been thinking of a hand more slender and dainty than hers, +and allowed himself to admit as much. "I--I wasn't meaning you at all," +he said bluntly. + +She laughed a little jarring laugh. "Oh, Matilda, of course! Nobody is +like Matilda now! But come, Mr. Tweddle, you're not going to stand there +and tell me that this wonderful Matilda of yours has hands no bigger +than those?" + +"She has been endowed with quite remarkable small hands," said he; "you +wouldn't believe it without seeing. It so happens," he added suddenly, +"that I can give you a very fair ideer of the size they are, for I've +got a ring of hers in my pocket at this moment. It came about this way: +my aunt (the same that used to let her second floor to James, and that +Matilda lodges with at present), my aunt, as soon as she heard of our +being engaged, nothing would do but I must give Matilda an old ring with +a posy inside it, that was in our family, and we soon found the ring was +too large to keep on, and I left it with old Vidler, near my place of +business, to be made tighter, and called for it on my way here this very +afternoon, and fortunately enough it was ready." + +He took out the ring from its bed of pink cotton wool, and offered it to +Miss Parkinson. + +"You see if you can get it on," he said; "try the little finger!" + +She drew back, offended. "_I_ don't want to try it, thank you," she said +(she felt as if she might fling it into the bushes if she allowed +herself to touch it). "If you _must_ try it on somebody, there's the +statue! You'll find no difficulty in getting it on any of her +fingers--or thumbs," she added. + +"You shall see," said Leander. "My belief is, it's too small for her, if +anything." + +He was a true lover; anxious to vindicate his lady's perfections before +all the world, and perhaps to convince himself that his estimate was not +exaggerated. The proof was so easy, the statue's left hand hung +temptingly within his reach; he accepted the challenge, and slipped the +ring up the third finger, that was slightly raised as if to receive it. +The hand struck no chill, so moist and mild was the evening, but felt +warm and almost soft in his grasp. + +"There," he said triumphantly, "it might have been made for her!" + +[Illustration: "THERE," HE SAID TRIUMPHANTLY, "IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN MADE +FOR HER!"] + +"Well," said Ada, not too consistently, "I never said it mightn't!" + +"Excuse me," said he, "but you said it would be too large for her; and, +if you'll believe me, it's as much as I can do to get it off her finger, +it fits that close." + +"Well, make haste and get it off, Mr. Tweddle, do," said Ada, +impatiently. "I've stayed out quite long enough." + +"In one moment," he replied; "it's quite a job, I declare, quite a job!" + +"Oh, you men are so clumsy!" cried Ada. "Let _me_ try." + +"No, no!" he said, rather irritably; "I can manage it," and he continued +to fumble. + +At last he looked over his shoulder and said, "It's a singler +succumstance, but I can't get the ring past the bend of the finger." + +Ada was cruel enough to burst out laughing. "It's a judgment upon you, +Mr. Tweddle!" she cried. + +"You dared me to it!" he retorted. "It isn't friendly of you, I must +say, Miss Parkinson, to set there enjoying of it--it's bad taste!" + +"Well, then, I'm very sorry, Mr. Tweddle; I won't laugh any more; but, +for goodness' sake, take me back to the Hall now." + +"It's coming!" he said; "I'm working it over the joint now--it's coming +quite easily." + +"But I can't wait here while it comes," she said. "Do you want me to go +back alone? You're not very polite to me this evening, I must say." + +"What am I to do?" he said distractedly. "This ring is my engagement +ring; it's valuable. I can't go away without it!" + +"The statue won't run away--you can come back again, by-and-by. You +don't expect me to spend the rest of the evening out here? I never +thought you could be rude to a lady, Mr. Tweddle." + +"No more I can," he said. "Your wishes, Miss Ada, are equivocal to +commands; allow me the honour of reconducting you to the Baronial Hall." + +He offered his arm in his best manner; she took it, and together they +passed out of the enclosure, leaving the statue in undisturbed +possession of the ring. + + + + +PLEASURE IN PURSUIT + +II. + + "And you, great sculptor, so you gave + A score of years to Art, her slave, + And that's your Venus, whence we turn + To yonder girl----" + + +Another waltz had just begun as they re-entered the Baronial Hall, and +Ada glanced up at her companion from her daring brown eyes. "What would +you say if I told you you might have this dance with me?" she inquired. + +The hairdresser hesitated for just one moment. He had meant to leave her +there and go back for his ring; but the waltz they were playing was a +very enticing one. Ada was looking uncommonly pretty just then; he could +get the ring equally well a few minutes later. + +"I should take it very kind of you," he said, gratefully, at length. + +"Ask for it, then," said Ada; and he did ask for it. + +He forgot Matilda and his engagement for the moment; he sacrificed all +his scruples about dancing in public; but he somehow failed to enjoy +this pleasure, illicit though it was. + +For one thing, he could not long keep Matilda out of his thoughts. He +was doing nothing positively wrong; still, it was undeniable that she +would not approve of his being there at all, still less if she knew +that the gold ring given to him by his aunt for the purposes of his +betrothal had been left on the finger of a foreign statue, and exposed +to the mercy of any passer-by, while he waltzed with a bonnet-maker's +assistant. + +And his conscience was awakened still further by the discovery that Ada +was a somewhat disappointing partner. "She's not so light as she used to +be," he thought, "and then she jumps. I'd forgotten she jumped." + +Before the waltz was nearly over he led her back to a chair, alleging as +his excuse that he was afraid to abandon his ring any longer, and +hastened away to the spot where it was to be found. + +He went along the same path, and soon came to an enclosure; but no +sooner had he entered it than he saw that he must have mistaken his way; +this was not the right place. There was no statue in the middle. + +He was about to turn away, when he saw something that made him start; it +was a low pedestal in the centre, with the same characters upon it that +he had read with Ada. It was the place, after all; yes, he could not be +mistaken; he knew it now. + +Where was the statue which had so lately occupied that pedestal? Had it +fallen over amongst the bushes? He felt about for it in vain. It must +have been removed for some purpose while he had been dancing; but by +whom, and why? + +The best way to find out would be to ask some one in authority. The +manager was in the Baronial Hall, officiating as M.C.; he would go and +inquire whether the removal had been by his orders. + +He was fortunate enough to catch him as he was coming out of the hall, +and he seized him by the arm with nervous haste. "Mister," he began, +"if you've found one of your plaster figures with a gold ring on, it's +mine. I--I put it on in a joking kind of way, and I had to leave it for +awhile; and now, when I come back for it, it's gone!" + +"I'm sorry to hear it, sir," returned the manager; "but really, if you +will leave gold rings on our statues, we can't be responsible, you +know." + +"But you'll excuse me," pursued Leander; "I don't think you quite +understood me. It isn't only the ring that's gone--it's the statue; and +if you've had it put up anywhere else----" + +"Nonsense!" said the manager; "we don't move our statues about like +chessmen; you've forgotten where you left it, that's all. What was the +statue like?" + +Leander described it as well as he could, and the manager, with a +somewhat altered manner, made him point out the spot where he believed +it to have stood, and they entered the grove together. + +The man gave one rapid glance at the vacant pedestal, and then gripped +Leander by the shoulder, and looked at him long and hard by the feeble +light. "Answer me," he said, roughly; "is this some lark of yours?" + +[Illustration: "ANSWER ME," HE SAID ROUGHLY; "IS THIS SOME LARK OF +YOURS?"] + +"I look larky, don't I?" said poor Tweedle, dolefully. "I thought you'd +be sure to know where it was." + +"I wish to heaven I did!" cried the manager, passionately; "it's those +impudent blackguards.... They've done it under my very nose!" + +"If it's any of your men," suggested Leander, "can't you make them put +it back again?" + +"It's not any of my men. I was warned, and, like a fool, I wouldn't +believe it could be done at a time like this; and now it's too late, and +what am I to say to the inspector? I wouldn't have had this happen for +a thousand pounds!" + +"Well, it's kind of you to feel so put out about it," said Leander. "You +see, what makes the ring so valuable to me----" + +The manager was pacing up and down impatiently, entirely ignoring his +presence. + +"I say," Tweddle repeated, "the reason why that ring's of partickler +importance----" + +"Oh, don't bother _me_!" said the other, shaking him off. "I don't want +to be uncivil, but I've got to think this out.... Infernal rascals!" he +went on muttering. + +"Have the goodness to hear what I've got to say, though," persisted +Leander. "I'm mixed up in this, whether you like it or not. You seem to +know who's got this figure, and I've a right to be told too. I won't go +till I get that ring back; so now you understand me!" + +"Confound you and your ring!" said the manager. "What's the good of +coming bully-ragging me about your ring? _I_ can't get you your ring! +You shouldn't have been fool enough to put it on one of our statues. You +make me talk to you like this, coming bothering when I've enough on my +mind as it is! Hang it! Can't you see I'm as anxious to get that statue +again as ever you can be? If I don't get it, I may be a ruined man, for +all I know; ain't that enough for you? Look here, take my advice, and +leave me alone before we have words over this. You give me your name and +address, and you may rely on hearing from me as soon as anything turns +up. You can do no good to yourself or any one else by making a row; so +go away quiet like a sensible chap!" + +Leander felt stunned by the blow; evidently there was nothing to be done +but follow the manager's advice. He went to the office with him, and +gave his name and address in full, and then turned back alone to the +dancing-hall. + +He had lost his ring--no ordinary trinket which he could purchase +anywhere, but one for which he would have to account--and to whom? To +his aunt and Matilda. How could he tell, when there was even a chance of +seeing it again? + +If only he had not allowed himself that waltz; if only he had insisted +upon remaining by the statue until his ring was removed; if only he had +not been such an idiot as to put it on! None of these acts were wrong +exactly; but between them they had brought him to this. + +And the chief person responsible was Miss Ada Parkinson, whom he dared +not reproach; for he was naturally unwilling that this last stage of the +affair should become known. He would have to dissemble, and he rejoined +his party with what he intended for a jaunty air. + +"We've been waiting for you to go away," said Bella. "Where have you +been all this time?" + +He saw with relief that Ada did not appear to have mentioned the statue, +and so he said he had been "strolling about." + +"And Ada left to take care of herself!" said Bella, spitefully. "You are +polite, Mr. Tweddle, I must say!" + +"I haven't complained, Bella, that I know of," said Ada. "And Mr. +Tweddle and I quite understand each other, don't we?" + +"Oh!" said Bella, with an altered manner and a side-glance at James, "I +didn't know. I'm very glad to hear it, I'm sure." + +And then they left the gardens, and, after a substantial meal at a +riverside hotel, started on the homeward journey, with the sense that +their expedition had not been precisely a success. + +As before, they had a railway compartment to themselves. Bella declined +to talk, and lay back in her corner with closed eyes and an expression +of undeserved suffering, whilst the unfortunate Jauncy sat silent and +miserable opposite. + +Leander would have liked to be silent too, and think out his position; +but Ada would not hear of this. Her jealous resentment had apparently +vanished, and she was extremely lively and playful in her sallies. + +This reached a pitch when she bent forward, and, in a whisper, which she +did not, perhaps, intend to be quite confidential, said, "Oh, Mr. +Tweddle, you never told me what became of the ring! Is it off at last?" + +"Off? yes!" he said irritably, very nearly adding, "and the statue too." + +"Weren't you very glad!" said she. + +"Uncommonly," he replied grimly. + +"Let me see it again, now you've got it back," she pleaded. + +"You'll excuse me," he said; "but after what has taken place, I can't +show that ring to anybody." + +"Then you're a cross thing!" said Ada, pouting. + +"What's the matter with you two, over there?" asked Bella, sleepily. + +Ada's eyes sparkled with mischief. "Let me tell them; it is too awfully +funny. I _must_!" she whispered to Leander. "It's all about a ring," she +began, and enjoyed poor Tweddle's evident discomfort. + +"A ring?" cried Bella, waking up. "Don't keep all the fun to yourselves; +we've not had so much of it this evening." + +"Miss Ada," said Leander, in great agitation, "I ask you, as a lady, to +treat what has happened this evening in the strictest confidence for the +present!" + +"Secrets, Ada?" cried her sister; "upon my word!" + +"Why, where's the harm, Mr. Tweddle, now it's all settled?" exclaimed +Ada. "Bella, it was only this: he went and put a ring (now do wait till +I've done, Mr. Tweddle!) on a certain person's finger out in those +Rosherwich Gardens (you see, I've not said _whose_ finger)." + +"Hullo, Tweddle!" cried Jauncy, in some bewilderment. + +Leander could only cast a look of miserable appeal at him. + +"Shall I tell them any more, Mr. Tweddle?" said Ada, persistently. + +"I don't think there's any necessity," he pleaded. + +"No more do I," put in Bella, archly. "I think we can guess the rest." + +Ada did not absolutely make any further disclosures that evening; but +for the rest of the journey she amused herself by keeping the +hairdresser in perpetual torment by her pretended revelations, until he +was thoroughly disgusted. + +No longer could he admire her liveliness; he could not even see that she +was good-looking now. "She's nothing but chaff, chaff, chaff!" he +thought. "Thank goodness, Matilda isn't given that way. Chaff before +marriage means nagging after!" + +They reached the terminus at last, when he willingly said farewell to +the other three. + +"Good-bye, Mr. Tweddle," said Bella, in rather a more cordial tone; "I +needn't hope _you_'ve enjoyed yourself!" + +"You needn't!" he replied, almost savagely. + +"Good night," said Ada; and added in a whisper, "Don't go and dream of +your statue-woman!" + +"If I dream to-night at all," he said, between his teeth, "it will be a +nightmare!" + +"I suppose, Tweddle, old chap," said Jauncy, as he shook hands, "you +know your own affairs best; but, if you meant what you told me coming +down, you've been going it, haven't you?" + +He left Leander wondering impatiently what he meant. Did he know the +truth? Well, everybody might know it before long; there would probably +be a fuss about it all, and the best thing he could do would be to tell +Matilda at once, and throw himself upon her mercy. After all, it was +innocent enough--if she could only be brought to believe it. + +He did not look forward to telling her; and by the time he reached the +Bank and got into an omnibus, he was in a highly nervous state, as the +following incident may serve to show. + +He had taken one of those uncomfortable private omnibuses, where the +passengers are left in unlightened gloom. He sat by the door, and, +occupied as he was by his own misfortunes, paid little attention to his +surroundings. + +But by-and-by, he became aware that the conductor, in collecting the +fares, was trying to attract the notice of some one who sat in the +further corner of the vehicle. "Where are you for, lady, please?" he +asked repeatedly, and at last, "_Will_ somebody ask the lady up the end +where I'm to set her down?" to all of which the eccentric person +addressed returned no reply whatever. + +Leander's attention was thus directed to her; but, although in the +obscurity he could make out nothing but a dim form of grey, his nerves +were so unsettled that he felt a curiously uneasy fancy that eyes were +being fixed upon him in the darkness. + +This continued until a moment when some electric lights suddenly flashed +into the omnibus as it passed, and lit up the whole interior with a +ghastly glare, in which the grey female became distinctly visible. + +He caught his breath and shrank into the corner; for in that moment his +excited imagination had traced a strange resemblance to the figure he +had left in Rosherwich Gardens. The inherent improbability of finding a +classical statue seated in an omnibus did not occur to him, in the state +his mind was in just then. He sat there fascinated, until lights shone +in once more, and he saw, or thought he saw, the figure slowly raise her +hand and beckon to him. + +That was enough; he started up with a smothered cry, thrust a coin into +the conductor's hand, and, without waiting for change, flung himself +from the omnibus in full motion. + +When its varnished sides had ceased to gleam in the light of the lamps, +and its lumbering form had been swallowed up in the autumn haze, he +began to feel what a coward his imagination had made of him. + +"My nightmare's begun already," he thought. "Still, she was so +surprisingly like, it did give me a turn. They oughtn't to let such +crazy females into public conveyances!" + +Fortunately his panic had not seized him until he was within a short +distance from Bloomsbury, and it did not take him long to reach Queen +Square and his shop in the passage. He let himself in, and went up to a +little room on an upper floor, which he used as his sitting-room. The +person who "looked after him" did not sleep on the premises; but she +had laid a fire and left out his tea-things. "I'll have some tea," he +thought, as he lit the gas and saw them there. "I feel as if I want +cheering up, and it can't make me any more shaky than I am." + +And when his fire was crackling and blazing up, and his kettle beginning +to sing, he felt more cheerful already. What, after all, if it did take +some time to get his ring again? He must make some excuse or other; and, +should the worst come to the worst, "I suppose," he thought, "I could +get another made like it--though, when I come to think of it, I'll be +shot if I remember exactly what it was like, or what the words inside it +were, to be sure about them; still, very likely old Vidler would +recollect, and I dessay it won't turn out to be necessa----What the +devil's that?" + +He had the house to himself after nightfall, and he remembered that his +private door could not be opened now without a special key; yet he could +not help a fancy that some one was groping his way up the staircase +outside. + +"It's only the boards creaking, or the pipes leaking through," he +thought. "I must have the place done up. But I'm as nervous as a cat +to-night." + +The steps were nearer and nearer--they stopped at the door--there was a +loud commanding blow on the panels. + +"Who's here at this time of night?" cried Leander, aloud. "Come in, if +you want to!" + +But the door remained shut, and there came another rap, even more +imperious. + +"I shall go mad if this goes on!" he muttered, and making a desperate +rush to the door, threw it wide open, and then staggered back +panic-stricken. + +Upon the threshold stood a tall figure in classical drapery. His eyes +might have deceived him in the omnibus; but here, in the crude gaslight, +he could not be mistaken. It was the statue he had last seen in +Rosherwich Gardens--now, in some strange and wondrous way, +moving--alive! + + + + +A DISTINGUISHED STRANGER + +III. + + "How could it be a dream? Yet there + She stood, the moveless image fair!" + + _The Earthly Paradise._ + + +With slow and stately tread the statue advanced towards the centre of +the hairdresser's humble sitting-room, and stood there awhile, gazing +about her with something of scornful wonder in her calm cold face. As +she turned her head, the wide, deeply-cut sockets seemed the home of +shadowy eyes; her face, her bared arms, and the long straight folds of +her robe were all of the same greyish-yellow hue; the boards creaked +under her sandalled feet, and Leander felt that he had never heard of a +more appallingly massive ghost--if ghost indeed she were. + +He had retired step by step before her to the hearthrug, where he now +stood shivering, with the fire hot at his back, and his kettle still +singing on undismayed. He made no attempt to account for her presence +there on any rationalistic theory. A statue had suddenly come to life, +and chosen to pay him a nocturnal visit; he knew no more than that, +except that he would have given worlds for courage to show it the door. + +The spectral eyes were bent upon him, as if in expectation that he +would begin the conversation, and, at last, with a very unmanageable +tongue, he managed to observe-- + +"Did you want to see me on--on business, mum?" + +[Illustration: "DID YOU WANT TO SEE ME ON--ON BUSINESS, MUM?"] + + +But the statue only relaxed her lips in a haughty smile. + +"For goodness' sake, say something!" he cried wildly; "unless you want +me to jump out of the winder! What is it you've come about?" + +It seemed to him that in some way a veil had lifted from the stone face, +leaving it illumined by a strange light, and from the lips came a voice +which addressed him in solemn far-away tones, as of one talking in +sleep. He could not have said with certainty that the language was his +own, though somehow he understood her perfectly. + +"You know me not?" she said, with a kind of sad indifference. + +"Well," Leander admitted, as politely as his terror would allow, "you +certingly have the advantage of me for the moment, mum." + +"I am Aphrodite the foam-born, the matchless seed of Ægis-bearing Zeus. +Many names have I amongst the sons of men, and many temples, and I sway +the hearts of all lovers; and gods--yea, and mortals--have burned for +me, a goddess, with an unconsuming, unquenchable fire!" + +"Lor!" said Leander. If he had not been so much flurried, he might have +found a remark worthier of the occasion, but the announcement that she +was a goddess took his breath away. He had quite believed that goddesses +were long since "gone out." + +"You know wherefore I am come hither?" she said. + +"Not at this minute, I don't," he replied. "You'll excuse me, but you +can't be the statue out of those gardens? You reelly are so surprisingly +like, that I couldn't help asking you." + +"I am Aphrodite, and no statue. Long--how long I know not--have I lain +entranced in slumber in my sea-girt isle of Cyprus, and now again has +the living touch of a mortal hand upon one of my sacred images called me +from my rest, and given me power to animate this marble shell. Some hand +has placed this ring upon my finger. Tell me, was it yours?" + +Leander was almost reassured; after all, he could forgive her for +terrifying him so much, since she had come on so good-natured an errand. + +"Quite correct, mum--miss!" (he wished he knew the proper form for +addressing a goddess) "that ring is my property. I'm sure it's very +civil and friendly of you to come all this way about it," and he held +out his hand for it eagerly. + +"And think you it was for this that I have visited the face of the earth +and the haunts of men, and followed your footsteps hither by roads +strange and unknown to me? You are too modest, youth." + +"I don't know what there is modest in expecting you to behave honest!" +he said, rather wondering at his own audacity. + +"How are you called?" she inquired suddenly on this; and after hearing +the answer, remarked that the name was known to her as that of a goodly +and noble youth who had perished for the sake of Hero. + +"The gentleman may have been a connection of mine, for all I know," he +said; "the Tweddles have always kep' themselves respectable. But I'm not +a hero myself, I'm a hairdresser." + +She repeated the word thoughtfully, though she did not seem to quite +comprehend it; and indeed it is likely enough that, however intelligible +she was to Leander, the understanding was far from being entirely +reciprocal. + +She extended her hand to him, smiling not ungraciously. "Leander," she +said, "cease to tremble, for a great happiness is yours. Bold have you +been; yet am I not angered, for I come. Cast, then, away all fear, and +know that Aphrodite disdains not to accept a mortal's plighted troth!" + +Leander entrenched himself promptly behind the armchair. "I don't know +what you're talking about!" he said. "How can I help fearing, with you +coming down on me like this? Ask yourself." + +"Can you not understand that your prayer is heard?" she demanded. + +"_What_ prayer?" cried Leander. + +"Crass and gross-witted has the world grown!" said she; "a Greek swain +would have needed but few words to divine his bliss. Know, then, that +your suit is accepted; never yet has Aphrodite turned the humblest from +her shrine. By this symbol," and she lightly touched the ring, "you have +given yourself to me. I accept the offering--you are mine!" + +Leander was stupefied by such an unlooked-for misconception. He could +scarcely believe his ears; but he hastened to set himself right at once. + +"If you mean that you were under the impression that I meant anything in +particular by putting that ring on, it was all a mistake, mum," he said. +"I shouldn't have presumed to it!" + +"Were you the lowliest of men, I care not," she replied; "to you I owe +the power I now enjoy of life and vision, nor shall you find me +ungrateful. But forbear this false humility; I like it not. Come, then, +Leander, at the bidding of Cypris; come, and fear nothing!" + +But he feared very much, for he had seen the operas of _Don Giovanni_ +and _Zampa_, and knew that any familiarity with statuary was likely to +have unpleasant consequences. He merely strengthened his defences with a +chair. + +"You must excuse me, mum, you must indeed," he faltered; "I can't come!" + +"Why?" she asked. + +"Because I've other engagements," he replied. + +"I remember," she said slowly, "in the grove, when light met my eyes +once more, there was a maid with you, one who laughed and was merry. +Answer--is she your love?" + +"No, she isn't," he said shortly. "What if she was?" + +"If she were," observed the goddess, with the air of one who mentioned +an ordinary fact, "I should crush her!" + +"Lord bless me!" cried Leander, in his horror. "What for?" + +"Would not she be in my path? and shall any mortal maid stand between me +and my desire?" + +This was a discovery. She was a jealous and vengeful goddess; she would +require to be sedulously humoured, or harm would come. + +"Well, well," he said soothingly, "there's nothing of that sort about +her, I do assure you." + +"Then I spare her," said the goddess. "But how, then, if this be truly +so, do you still shrink from the honour before you?" + +Leander felt a natural unwillingness to explain that it was because he +was engaged to a young lady who kept the accounts at a florist's. + +"Well, the fact is," he said awkwardly, "there's difficulties in the +way." + +"Difficulties? I can remove them all!" she said. + +"Not _these_ you can't, mum. It's like this: You and me, we don't start, +so to speak, from the same basin. I don't mean it as any reproach to +you, but you can't deny you're an Eathen, and, worse than that, an +Eathen goddess. Now all my family have been brought up as chapel folk, +Primitive Methodists, and I've been trained to have a horror of +superstition and idolatries, and see the folly of it. So you can see for +yourself that we shouldn't be likely to get on together!" + +"You talk words," she said impatiently; "but empty are they, and +meaningless to my ears. One thing I learn from them--that you seek to +escape me!" + +"That's putting it too harsh, mum," he protested. "I'm sure I feel the +honour of such a call; and, by the way, do you mind telling me how you +got my address--how you found me out, I mean?" + +"No one remains long hid from the searching eye of the high gods," she +replied. + +"So I should be inclined to say," agreed Leander. "But only tell me +this, wasn't it you in the omnibus? We call our public conveyances +omnibuses, as perhaps you mayn't know." + +"I, sea-born Aphrodite, _I_ in a public conveyance, an omnibus? There is +an impiety in such a question!" + +"Well, I only thought it might have been," he stammered, rather relieved +upon the whole that it was not the goddess who had seen his precipitate +bolt from the vehicle. Who the female in the corner really was, he never +knew; though a man of science might account for the resemblance she bore +to the statue by ascribing it to one of those preparatory impressions +projected occasionally by a strong personality upon a weak one. But +Leander was content to leave the matter unexplained. + +"Let it suffice you," she said, "that I am here; and once more, Leander, +are you prepared to fulfil the troth you have plighted?" + +"I--I can't say I am," he said. "Not that I don't feel thankful for +having had the refusal of so very 'igh-class an opportunity; but, as I'm +situated at present--what with the state of trade, and unbelief so +rampant, and all--I'm obliged to decline with respectful thanks." + +He trusted that after this she would see the propriety of going. + +"Have a care!" she said; "you are young and not uncomely, and my heart +pities you. Do nothing rash. Pause, ere you rouse the implacable ire of +Aphrodite!" + +"Thank you," said Leander; "if you'll allow me, I will. I don't want any +ill-feeling, I'm sure. It's my wish to live peaceable with all men." + +"I leave you, then. Use the time before you till I come again in +thinking well whether he acts wisely who spurns the proffered hand of +Idalian Aphrodite. For the present, farewell, Leander!" + +He was overjoyed at his coming deliverance. "Good evening, mum," he +said, as he ran to the door and held it open. "If you'll allow me, I'll +light you down the staircase--it's rather dark, I'm afraid." + +"_Fool!_,'" she said with scorn, and without stirring from her place; +and, as she spoke the word, the veil seemed to descend over her face +again, the light faded out, and, with a slight shudder, the figure +imperceptibly resumed its normal attitude, the drapery stiffened once +more into chiselled folds, and the statue was soulless as are statues +generally. + + + + +FROM BAD TO WORSE + +IV. + + "And the shadow flits and fleets, + And will not let me be, + And I loathe the squares and streets!" + + _Maud._ + + +For some time after the statue had ceased to give signs of life, the +hairdresser remained gaping, incapable of thought or action. At last he +ventured to approach cautiously, and on touching the figure, found it +perfectly cold and hard. The animating principle had plainly departed, +and left the statue a stone. + +"She's gone," he said, "and left her statue behind her! Well, of all the +_goes_----She's come out without her pedestal, too! To be sure, it would +have been in her way, walking." + +Seating himself in his shabby old armchair, he tried to collect his +scattered wits. He scarcely realised, even yet, what had happened; but, +unless he had dreamed it all, he had been honoured by the marked +attentions of a marble statue, instigated by a heathen goddess, who +insisted that his affections were pledged to her. + +Perhaps there was a spice of flattery in such a situation--for it cannot +fall to the lot of many hairdressers to be thus distinguished--but +Leander was far too much alarmed to appreciate it. There had been +suggestions of menace in the statue's remarks which made him shudder +when he recalled them, and he started violently once or twice when some +wavering of the light gave a play of life to the marble mask. "She's +coming back!" he thought. "Oh, I do wish she wouldn't!" But Aphrodite +continued immovable, and at last he concluded that, as he put it, she +"had done for the evening." + +His first reflection was--what had best be done? The wisest course +seemed to be to send for the manager of the gardens, and restore the +statue while its animation was suspended. The people at the gardens +would take care that it did not get loose again. + +But there was the ring; he must get that off first. Here was an +unhoped-for opportunity of accomplishing this in privacy, and at his +leisure. Again approaching the figure, he tried to draw off the +compromising circle; but it seemed tighter than ever, and he drew out a +pair of scissors and, after a little hesitation, respectfully inserted +it under the hoop and set to work to prize it off, with the result of +snapping both the points, and leaving the ring entirely unaffected. He +glanced at the face; it wore the same dreamy smile, with a touch of +gentle contempt in it. "She don't seem to mind," he said aloud; "to be +sure, she ain't inside of it now, as far as I make it out. I've got all +night before me to get the confounded thing off, and I'll go on till +I've done it!" + +But he laboured on with the disabled scissors, and only succeeded in +scratching the smooth marble a little; he stopped to pant. "There's only one +way," he told himself desperately; "a little diamond cement would make +it all right again; and you expect cracks in a statue." + +Then, after a furtive glance around, he fetched the poker from the +fireplace. He felt horribly brutal, as if he were going to mutilate and +maltreat a creature that could feel; but he nerved himself to tap the +back of Aphrodite's hand at the dimpled base of the third finger. The +shock ran up to his elbow, and gave him acute "pins and needles," but +the stone hand was still intact. He struck again--this time with all his +force--and the poker flew from his grasp, and his arm dropped paralyzed +by his side. + +He could scarcely lift it again for some minutes, and the warning made +him refrain from any further violence. "It's no good," he groaned. "If I +go on, I don't know what may happen to me. I must wait till she comes +to, and then ask her for the ring, very polite and civil, and try if I +can't get round her that way." + +He was determined that he would never give her up to the gardens while +she wore his ring; but, in the mean time, he could scarcely leave the +statue standing in the middle of his sitting-room, where it would most +assuredly attract the charwoman's attention. + +He had little cupboards on each side of his fireplace: one of these had +no shelves, and served for storing firewood and bottles of various +kinds. From this he removed the contents, and lifting the statue, which, +possibly because its substance had been affected in some subtle and +inexplicable manner by the vital principle that had so lately permeated +it, proved less ponderous than might have been reasonably expected, he +pushed it well into the recess, and turned the key on it. + +Then he went trembling to bed, and, after an interval of muddled, +anxious thinking, fell into a heavy sleep, which lasted until far into +the morning. + +He woke with the recollection that something unpleasant was hanging over +him, and by degrees he remembered what that something was; but it looked +so extravagant in the morning light that he had great hopes all would +turn out to be a mere dream. + +It was a mild Sunday morning, and there were church bells ringing all +around him; it seemed impossible that he could really be harbouring an +animated antique. But to remove all doubt, he stole down, half dressed, +to his small sitting-room, which he found looking as usual--the fire +burning dull and dusty in the sunlight that struck in through the open +window, and his breakfast laid out on the table. + +Almost reassured, he went to the cupboard and unlocked the door. Alas! +it held its skeleton--the statue was there, preserving the attitude of +queenly command in which he had seen it first. Sharply he shut the door +again, and turned the key with a heavy heart. + +He swallowed his breakfast with very little appetite, after which he +felt he could not remain in the house. "To sit here with _that_ in the +cupboard is more than I'm equal to all Sunday," he decided. + +If Matilda had been at his aunt's, with whom she lodged, he would have +gone to chapel with her; but Matilda did not return from her holiday +till late that night. He thought of going to his friend and asking his +advice on his case. James, as a barrister's clerk, would presumably be +able to give a sound legal opinion on an emergency. + +James, however, lived "out Camden Town way," and was certain on so fine +a morning to be away on some Sunday expedition with his betrothed: it +was hopeless to go in search of him now. If he went to see his aunt, who +lived close by in Millman Street, she might ask him about the ring, and +there would be a fuss. He was in no humour for attending any place of +public worship, and so he spent some hours in aimless wandering about +the streets, which, as foreigners are fond of reminding us, are not +exhilarating even on the brightest Sabbath, and did not raise his +spirits then. + +At last hunger drove him back to the passage in Southampton Row, the +more quickly as it began to occur to him that the statue might possibly +have revived, and be creating a disturbance in the cupboard. + +He had passed the narrow posts, and was just taking out his latchkey, +when some one behind touched his shoulder and made him give a guilty +jump. He dreaded to find the goddess at his elbow; however, to his +relief, he found a male stranger, plainly and respectably dressed. + +"You Mr. Tweddle the hairdresser?" the stranger inquired. + +Leander felt a wild impulse to deny it, and declare that he was his own +friend, and had come to see himself on business, for he was in no social +mood just then; but he ended by admitting that he supposed he was Mr. +Tweddle. + +"So did I. Well, I want a little private talk with you, Mr. Tweddle. +I've been hanging about for some time; but though I knocked and rang, I +couldn't make a soul hear." + +"There isn't a soul inside," protested Tweddle, with unnecessary warmth; +"not a solitary soul! You wanted to talk with me. Suppose we take a turn +round the square?" + +"No, no. I won't keep you out; I'll come in with you!" + +Inwardly wondering what his visitor wanted, Leander led him in and lit +the gas in his hair-cutting saloon. "We shall be cosier here," he said; +for he dared not take the stranger up in the room where the statue was +concealed, for fear of accidents. + +The man sat down in the operating-chair and crossed his legs. "I dare +say you're wondering what I've come about like this on a Sunday +afternoon?" he began. + +"Not at all," said Leander. "Anything I can have the pleasure of doing +for you----" + +"It's only to answer a few questions. I understand you lost a ring at +the Rosherwich Gardens yesterday evening: that's so, isn't it?" + +He was a military looking person, as Leander now perceived, and he had a +close-trimmed iron-grey beard, a high colour, quick eyes, and a stiff +hard-lipped mouth--not at all the kind of man to trifle with. And yet +Leander felt no inclination to tell him his story; the stranger might be +a reporter, and his adventure would "get into the papers"--perhaps reach +Matilda's eyes. + +"I--I dropped a ring last night, certainly," he said; "it may have been +in the gardens, for what I know." + +"Now, now," said the stranger, "don't you _know_ it was in the gardens? +Tell me all about it." + +"Begging your pardon," said Leander, "I should like to know first what +call you have to _be_ told." + +"You're quite right--perfectly right. I always deal straightforwardly +when I can. I'll tell you who I am. I'm Inspector Bilbow, of the +Criminal Investigation Department, Scotland Yard. Now, perhaps, you'll +see I'm not a man to be kept in the dark. And I want you to tell me when +and where you last saw that ring of yours: it's to your own interest, if +you want to see it again." + +But Leander _had_ seen it again, and it seemed certain that all Scotland +Yard could not assist him in getting it back; he must manage it +single-handed. + +"It's very kind of you, Mr. Inspector, to try and find it for me," he +said; "but the fact is, it--it ain't so valuable as I fancied. I can't +afford to have it traced--it's not worth it!" + +The inspector laughed. "I never said it was, that I know. The job I'm in +charge of is a bigger concern than your trumpery ring, my friend." + +"Then I don't see what I've got to do with it," said Leander. + +The officer had taken his measure by this time; he must admit his man +into a show of confidence, and appeal to his vanity, if he was to obtain +any information he could rely upon. + +"You're a shrewd chap, I see; 'nothing for nothing' is your motto, eh? +Well, if you help me in this, and put me on the track I want, it'll be a +fine thing for you. You'll be a principal witness at the police-court; +name in the papers; regular advertisement for you!" + +This prospect, had he known it--but even inspectors cannot know +everything--was the last which could appeal to Leander in his peculiar +position. "I don't care for notoriety," he said loftily; "I scorn it." + +"Oho!" said the inspector, shifting his ground. "Well, you don't want to +impede the course of justice, do you?--because that's what you seem to +me to be after, and you won't find it pay in the long run. I'll get this +out of you in a friendly way if I can; if not, some other way. Come, +give me your account, fair and full, of how you came to lose that ring; +there's no help for it--you must!" + +Leander saw this and yielded. After all, it did not much matter, for of +course he would not touch upon the strange sequel of his ill-omened act; +so he told the story faithfully and circumstantially, while the +inspector took it all down in his note-book, questioning him closely +respecting the exact time of each occurrence. + +At last he closed his note-book with a snap. "I'm not obliged to tell +you anything in return for all this," he said; "but I will, and then +you'll see the importance of holding your tongue till I give you leave +to talk about it." + +"_I_ shan't talk about it," said Leander. + +"I don't advise you to. I suppose you've heard of that affair at +Wricklesmarsh Court? What! not that business where a gang broke into the +sculpture gallery, one of the finest private collections in England? You +surprise me!" + +"And what did they steal?" asked Leander. + +"They stole the figure whose finger you were ass enough (if you'll allow +me the little familiarity) to put your ring on. What do you think of +that?" + +A wild rush of ideas coursed through the hairdresser's head. Was this +policeman "after" the goddess upstairs? Did he know anything more? Would +it be better to give up the statue at once and get rid of it? But +then--his ring would be lost for ever! + +"It's surprising," he said at last. "But what did they want to go and +burgle a plaster figure for?" + +"That's where it is, you see; she ain't plaster--she's marble, a genuine +antic of Venus, and worth thousands. The beggars who broke in knew that, +and took nothing else. They'd made all arrangements to get away with her +abroad, and pass her off on some foreign collection before it got blown +upon; and they'd have done it too if we hadn't been beforehand with +them! So what do they do then? They drive up with her to these gardens, +ask to see the manager, and say they're agents for some Fine Arts +business, and have a sample with them, to be disposed of at a low price. +The manager, so he tells me, had a look at it, thought it a neat article +and suitable to the style of his gardens. He took it to be plain +plaster, as they said, and they put it up for him their own selves, +near the small gate up by the road; then they took the money--a pound or +two they asked for it--and drove away, and he saw no more of them." + +"And was that all they got for their pains?" said Leander. + +The inspector smiled indulgently. "Don't you see your way yet?" he +asked. "Can't you give a guess where that statue's got to now, eh?" + +"No," said Leander, with what seemed to the inspector a quite +uncalled-for excitement, "of course I can't! What do you ask me for? How +should I know?" + +"Quite so," said the other; "you want a mind trained to deal with these +things. It may surprise you to hear it, but I know as well how that +statue disappeared, and what was done with her, as if I'd been there!" + +"Do you, though?" thought Leander, who was beginning to doubt whether +his visitor's penetration was anything so abnormal. "What was done with +her?" he asked. + +"Why, it was a plant from the first. They knew all their regular holes +were stopped, and they wanted a place to dump her down in, where she +wouldn't attract attention, till they could call for her again; so they +got her taken in at the gardens, where they could come in any time by +the gate and fetch her off again--and very neatly it was done, too!" + +"But where do you make out they've taken her to now?" asked Leander, who +was naturally anxious to discover if the official had any suspicions of +him. + +"I've my own theory about that," was his answer. "I shall hunt that +Venus down, sir; I'll stake my reputation on it." + +"Venus is her name, it seems," thought Leander. "She told me it was +Aphrodite. But perhaps the other's her Christian name. It can't be the +Venus I've seen pictures of--she's dressed too decent." + +"Yes," repeated the inspector, "I shall hunt her down now. I don't envy +the poor devil who's giving her house-room; he'll have reason to repent +it!" + +"How do you know any one's giving her house-room?" inquired Leander; +"and why should he repent it?" + +"Ask your own common sense. They daren't take her back to any of their +own places; they know better. They haven't left the country with her. +What remains? They've bribed or got over some mug of an outsider to be +their accomplice, and a bad speculation he'll find it, too." + +"What would be done to him?" asked the hairdresser, with a quite +unpleasant internal sensation. + +[Illustration: "WHAT WOULD BE DONE TO HIM?" ASKED THE HAIRDRESSER, WITH +A QUITE UNPLEASANT INTERNAL SENSATION.] + +"That is a question I wouldn't pretend to decide; but I've no hesitation +in saying that the party on whose premises that statue is discovered +will wish he'd died before he ever set eyes on her." + +"You're quite right there!" said Leander. "Well, sir, I'm afraid I +haven't been much assistance to you." + +"Never mind that," said the inspector, encouragingly; "you've answered +my questions; you've not hindered the law, and that's a game some burn +their fingers at." + +Leander let him out, and returned to his saloon with his head in a worse +whirl than before. He did not think the detective suspected him. He was +clearly barking up the wrong tree at present; but so acute a mind could +not be long deceived, and if once Leander was implicated his guilt would +appear beyond denial. Would the police believe that the statue had run +after him? No one would believe it! To be found in possession of that +fatal work of art would inevitably ruin him. + +He might carry her away to some lonely spot and leave her, but where was +the use? She would only come back again; or he might be taken in the +act. He dared not destroy her; his right arm had been painful all day +after that last attempt. + +If he gave her up to the authorities, he would have to explain how he +came to be in a position to do so, which, as he now saw, would be a +difficult undertaking; and even then he would lose all chance of +recovering his ring in time to satisfy his aunt and Matilda. There was +no way out of it, unless he could induce Venus to give up the token and +leave him alone. + +"Cuss her!" he said angrily; "a pretty bog she's led me into, she and +that minx, Ada Parkinson!" + +He felt so thoroughly miserable that hunger had vanished, and he dreaded +the idea of an evening at home, though it was a blusterous night, with +occasional vicious spirts of rain, and by no means favourable to +continued pacing of streets and squares. + +"I'm hanged if I don't think I'll go to church!" he thought; "and +perhaps I shall feel more equal to supper afterwards." + +He went upstairs to get his best hat and overcoat, and was engaged in +brushing the former in his sitting-room, when from within the cupboard +he heard a shower of loud raps. + +His knees trembled. "She's wuss than any ghost!" he thought; but he took +no notice, and went on brushing his hat, while he endeavoured to hum a +hymn. + +"Leander!" cried the clear, hard voice he knew too well, "I have +returned. Release me!" + +His first idea was to run out of the house and seek sanctuary in some +pew in the opposite church. "But there," he thought disgustedly, "she'd +only come in and sit next to me. No, I'll pluck up a spirit and have it +out with her!" and he threw open the door. + +"How have you dared to imprison me in this narrow tomb?" she demanded +majestically, as she stepped forth. + +Leander cringed. "It's a nice roomy cupboard," he said. "I thought +perhaps you wouldn't mind putting up with it, especially as you invited +yourself," he could not help adding. + +"When I found myself awake and in utter darkness," she said, "I thought +you had buried me beneath the soil." + +"Buried you!" he exclaimed, with a sudden perception that he might do +worse. + +"And in that thought I was preparing to invoke the forces that lie below +the soil to come to my aid, burst the masses that impeded me, and +overwhelm you and all this ugly swarming city in one vast ruin!" + +"I won't bury her," Leander decided. "I'm sorry you hadn't a better +opinion of me, mum," he said aloud. "You see, how you came to be in +there was this way: when you went out, like the snuff of a candle, so to +speak, you left your statue standing in the middle of the floor, and I +had to put it somewhere where it wouldn't be seen." + +"You did well," she said indulgently, "to screen my image from the +vulgar sight; and if you had no statelier shrine wherein to instal it, +the fault lies not with you. You are pardoned." + +"Thank you, mum," said Leander; "and now let me ask you if you intend to +animate that statue like this as a regular thing?" + +"So long as your obstinacy continues, or until it outlives my +forbearance, I shall return at intervals," she said. "Why do you ask +this?" + +"Well," said Leander, with a sinking heart, but hoping desperately to +move her by the terrors of the law, "it's my duty to tell you that that +image you're in is stolen property." + +"Has it been stolen from one of my temples?" she asked. + +"I dare say--I don't know; but there's the police moving heaven and +earth to get you back again!" + +"He is good and pious--the police, and if I knew him I would reward +him." + +"There's a good many hims in the police--that's what we call our guards +for the street, who take up thieves and bad characters; and, being +stolen, they're all of 'em after _you_; and if they had a notion where +you were, they'd be down on you, and back you'd go to wherever you've +come from--some gallery, I believe, where you wouldn't get away again in +a hurry! Now, I tell you what it is, if you don't give me up that ring, +and go away and leave me in quiet, I'll tell the police who you are and +where you are. I mean what I say, by George I do!" + +"We know not George, nor will it profit you to invoke him now," said the +goddess. "See, I will deign to reason with you as with some froward +child. Think you that, should the guards seize my image, _I_ should +remain within, or that it is aught to me where this marble presentment +finds a resting-place while I am absent therefrom? But for you, should +you surrender it into their hands, would there be no punishment for your +impiety in thus concealing a divine effigy?" + +"She ain't no fool!" thought Leander; "she mayn't understand our ways, +but she's a match for me notwithstanding. I must try another line." + +"Lady Venus," he began, "if that's the proper way to call you, I didn't +mean any threats--far from it. I'll be as humble as you please. You look +a good-natured lady; you wouldn't want to make a man uncomfortable, I'm +sure. Do give me back that ring, for mercy's sake! If I haven't got it +to show in a day or two, I shall be ruined!" + +"Should any mortal require the ring of you, you have but to reply, 'I +have placed it upon the finger of Aphrodite, whose spouse I am!' Thus +will you have honour amongst mortals, being held blameless!" + +"Blameless!" cried Leander, in pardonable exasperation. "That's all you +know about it! And what am I to say to the lady it lawfully belongs to?" + +"You have lied to me, then, and you are already affianced! Tell me the +abode of this maiden of yours." + +"What do you want it for?" he inquired, hoping faintly she might intend +to restore the ring. + +"To seek it out, to go to her abode, to crush her! Is she not my rival?" + +"Crush my Matilda?" he cried in agony. "You'll never do such a thing as +that?" + +"You have revealed her name! I have but to ask in your streets, 'Where +abideth Matilda, the beloved of Leander, the dresser of hair? Lead me to +her dwelling.' And having arrived thereat, I shall crush her, and thus +she shall deservedly perish!" + +He was horrified at the possible effects of his slip, which he hastened +to repair. "You won't find it so easy to come at her, luckily," he said; +"there's hundreds of Matildas in London alone." + +"Then," said the goddess, sweetly and calmly, "it is simple: I shall +crush them all." + +"Oh, lor!" whimpered Leander, "here's a bloodthirsty person! Where's the +sense of doing that?" + +"Because, dissipated reveller that you are, you love them." + +"Now, when did I ever say I loved them? I don't even know more than two +or three, and those I look on as sisters--in fact" (here he hit upon a +lucky evasion) "they _are_ sisters--it's only another name for them. +I've a brother and three Matildas, and here are you talking of crushing +my poor sisters as if they were so many beadles--all for nothing!" + +"Is this the truth? Palter not with me! You are pledged to no mortal +bride?" + +"I'm a bachelor. And as for the ring, it belongs to my aunt, who's over +fifty." + +"Then no one stands between us, and you are mine!" + +"Don't talk so ridiculous! I tell you I ain't yours--it's a free +country, this is!" + +"If I--an immortal--can stoop thus, it becomes you not to reject the +dazzling favour." + +A last argument occurred to him. "But I reelly don't think, mum," he +said persuasively, "that you can be quite aware of the extent of the +stoop. The fact is, I am, as I've tried to make you understand, a +hairdresser; some might lower themselves so far as to call me a barber. +Now, hairdressing, whatever may be said for it" (he could not readily +bring himself to decry his profession)--"hairdressing is considribly +below you in social rank. I wouldn't deceive you by saying otherwise. I +assure you that, if you had any ideer what a barber was, you wouldn't be +so pressing." + +She seemed to be struck by this. "You say well!" she observed, +thoughtfully; "your occupation may be base and degrading, and if so, it +were well for me to know it." + +"If you were once to see me in my daily avocations," he urged, "you'd +see what a mistake you're making." + +"Enough! I will see you--and at once. Barb, that I may know the nature +of your toil!" + +"I can't do that now," he objected; "I haven't got a customer." + +"Then fetch one, and barb with it immediately. You must have your tools +by you; so delay not!" + +"A customer ain't a tool!" he groaned, "it's a fellow-man; and no one +will come in to-night, because it's Sunday. (Don't ask me what Sunday +is, because you wouldn't understand if I tried to tell you!) And I don't +carry on my business up here, but below in the saloon." + +"I will go thither and behold you." + +"No!" he exclaimed. "Do you want to ruin me?" + +"I will make no sign; none shall recognise me for what I am. But come I +will!" + +Leander pondered awhile. There was danger in introducing the goddess +into his saloon; he had no idea what she might do there. But at the same +time, if she were bent upon coming, she would probably do so in any +case; and besides, he felt tolerably certain that what she would see +would convince her of his utter unsuitability as a consort. + +Yes, it was surely wisest to assist necessity, and obtain the most +favourable conditions for the inevitable experiment. + +"I might put you in a corner of the operating-room, to be sure," he said +thoughtfully. "No one would think but what you was part of the fittings, +unless you went moving about." + +"Place me where I may behold you at your labour, and there I will +remain," she said. + +"Well," he conceded, "I'll risk it. The best way would be for you to +walk down to the saloon, and leave yourself ready in a corner till you +come to again. I can't carry a heavy marble image all that way!" + +"So be it," said she, and followed him to the saloon with a proud +docility. + +"It's nicely got up," he remarked, as they reached it; "and you'll find +it roomier than the cupboard." + +She deigned no answer as she remained motionless in the corner he had +indicated; and presently, as he held up the candle he was carrying, he +found its rays were shining upon a senseless stone. + +He went upstairs again, half fearful, half sanguine. "I don't altogether +like it," he was thinking. "But if I put a print wrapper over her all +day, no one will notice. And goddesses must have their proper pride. If +she once gets it into her marble head that I keep a shop, I think that +she'll turn up her nose at me. And then she'll give back the ring and go +away, and I shan't be afraid of the police; and I needn't tell Tillie +anything about it. It's worth risking." + + + + +AN EXPERIMENT + +V. + + "'Tis time; descend; be stone no more; approach: + Strike all that look upon with marvel." + + _The Winter's Tale._ + + +The next day brought Leander a letter which made his heart beat with +mingled emotions--it was from his Matilda. It had evidently been written +immediately before her return, and told him that she would be at their +old meeting-place (the statue of Fox in Bloomsbury Square) at eight +o'clock that evening. + +The wave of tenderness which swept over him at the anticipation of this +was hurled back by an uncomfortable thought. What if Matilda were to +refer to the ring? But no; his Matilda would do nothing so indelicate. + +All through the day he mechanically went through his hairdressing, +singeing, and shampooing operations, divided between joy at the prospect +of seeing his adored Matilda again, and anxiety respecting the cold +marble swathed in the print wrapper, which stood in the corner of his +hair-cutting saloon. + +He glanced at it every time he went past to change a brush or heat a +razor, but there was no sign of movement under the folds, and he +gradually became reassured, especially as it excited no remark. + +But as evening drew on he felt that, for the success of his experiment, +it was necessary that the cover should be removed. It was dangerous, +supposing the inspector were to come in unexpectedly and recognise the +statue; but he could only trust to fortune for that, and hoped, too, +that even if the detective came he would be able to keep him in the +outer shop. + +It was only for one evening, and it was well worth the risk. + +A foreign gentleman had come in, and the hairdresser found that a fresh +wrapper was required, which gave him the excuse he wanted for unveiling +the Aphrodite. He looked carefully at the face as he uncovered it, but +could discover no speculation as yet in the calm, full gaze of the +goddess. + +The foreign gentleman was inclined to be talkative under treatment, and +the conversation came round to public amusements. + +"In my country," the customer said, without mentioning or betraying what +his particular country was--"in my country we have what you have not, +places to sit out in the fresh air, and drink a glass of beer, along +with the entertainments. You have not that in London?" + +"Bless your soul, yes," said Leander, who was a true patriot, "plenty of +them!" + +"Oh, I did not aware that; but who?" + +"Well," said the hairdresser, "there's the Eagle in the City Road, for +one; and there's the Surrey Gardens; and there's Rosherwich," he added, +after a pause. (The Fisheries Exhibition, it may be said, was as yet +unknown.) + +"And you go there, often?" + +"I've been to Rosherwich." + +"Was it goot there--you laike it, eh?" + +"Well," said Leander, "they tell me it's very gay in the season. +P'rhaps I went at the wrong time of the year for it." + +"What you call wrong time for it?" + +"Slack--nothing going on," he explained; "like it was when I went last +Saturday." + +"You went last Saturday? And you stay a long time?" + +"I didn't stay no longer than I could help," Leander said. "All our +party was glad to get away." + +The foreigner had risen to go, when his eyes fell on the Venus in the +corner. + +"You did not stay long, and your party was glad to come away?" he +repeated absently. "I am not surprised at that." He gave the hairdresser +a long stare as he spoke. "No, I am not surprised.... You have a good +taste, my friend; you laike the antique, do you not?" he broke off +suddenly. + +"Ah! you are looking at the Venus, sir," said Leander. "Yes, I'm very +partial to it." + +"It is a taste that costs," his customer said. + +He looked back over his shoulder as he left the shop, and once more +repeated softly, "Yes, it is a taste that costs." + +"I suppose," Leander reflected as he went back, "it does strike people +as queer, my keeping that statue there; but it's only for one evening." + +The foreigner had scarcely left when an old gentleman, a regular +customer, looked in, on his way from the City, and at once noticed the +innovation. He was an old gentleman who had devoted much time and study +to Art, in the intervals of business, and had developed critical powers +of the highest order. + +He walked straight up to the Venus, and stuck out his under lip. "Where +did you get that thing?" he inquired. "Isn't this place of yours small +enough, without lumbering it up with statuary out of the Euston Road?" + +"I didn't get it there," said Leander. "I--I thought it would be 'andy +to 'ang the 'ats on." + +"Dear, dear," said the old gentleman, "why do you people dabble in +matters you don't understand? Come here, Tweddle, and let me show you. +Can't you _see_ what a miserable sham the thing is--a cheap, tawdry +imitation of the splendid classic type? Why, by merely exhibiting such a +thing, you're vitiating public taste, sir--corrupting it." + +Leander did not quite follow this rebuke, which he thought was probably +based upon the goddess's antecedents. + +"Was she reelly as bad as that, sir?" he said. "I wasn't aware so, or I +shouldn't give any offence to customers by letting her stay here." + +As he spoke he saw the indefinable indications in the statue's face +which denoted that it was instinct once more with life and intelligence, +and he was horrified at the thought that the latter part of the +conversation might have been overheard. + +"But I've always understood," he said, hastily, "that the party this +represents was puffickly correct, however free some of the others might +have been; and I suppose that's the costume of the period she's in, and +very becoming it is, I'm sure, though gone out since." + +"Bah!" said the old gentleman, "it's poor art. I'll show you _where_ the +thing is bad. I happen to understand something of these things. Just +observe how the top of the head is out of drawing; look at the lowness +of the forehead, and the distance between the eyes; all the canons of +proportion ignored--absolutely ignored!" + +What further strictures this rash old gentleman was preparing to pass +upon the statue will never be known now, for Tweddle already thought he +could discern a growing resentment in her face, under so much candour. +He could not stand by and allow so excellent a customer to be crushed on +the floor of his saloon, and he knew the Venus quite capable of this: +was she not perpetually threatening such a penalty, on much slighter +provocation? + +He rushed between the unconscious man and his fate. "I think you said +your hair cut?" he said, and laid violent hands upon the critic, forced +him protesting into a chair, throttled him with a towel, and effectually +diverted his attention by a series of personal remarks upon the top of +his head. + +The victim, while he was being shampooed, showed at first an alarming +tendency to revert to the subject of the goddess's defects, but Leander +was able to keep him in check by well-timed jets of scalding water and +ice-cold sprays, which he directed against his customer's exposed crown, +until every idea, except impotent rage, was washed out of it, while a +hard machine brush completed the subjugation. + +Finally, the unfortunate old man staggered out of the shop, preserved by +Leander's unremitting watchfulness from the wrath of the goddess. Yet, +such is the ingratitude of human nature, that he left the place vowing +to return no more. "I thought I'd got a _clown_ behind me, sir!" he used +to say afterwards, in describing it. + +Before Leander could recover from the alarm he had been thrown into, +another customer had entered; a pale young man, with a glossy hat, a +white satin necktie, and a rather decayed gardenia. He, too, was one of +Tweddle's regular clients. What his occupation might be was a mystery, +for he aimed at being considered a man of pleasure. + +"I say, just shave me, will you?" he said, and threw himself languidly +into a chair. "Fact is, Tweddle, I've been so doosid chippy for the last +two days, I daren't touch a razor." + +"Indeed, sir!" said Leander, with respectful sympathy. + +"You see," explained the youth, "I've been playing the goat--the giddy +goat. Know what that means?" + +"I used to," said Leander; "I never touch alcoholic stimulants now, +myself." + +"Wish I didn't. I say, Tweddle, have you been to the Cosmopolitan +lately?" + +"I don't go to music-'alls now," said Leander; "I've give up all that +now I'm keeping company." + +"Well, you go and see the new ballet," the youth exhorted him earnestly; +not that he cared whether the hairdresser went or not, but because he +wanted to talk about the ballet to somebody. + +"Ah!" observed Leander; "is that a good one they've got there now, sir?" + +"Rather think so. Ballet called _Olympus_. There's a regular ripping +little thing who comes on as one of Venus's doves." And the youth went +on to intimate that the dove in question had shown signs of being struck +by his powers of fascination. "I saw directly that I'd mashed her; she +was gone, dead gone, sir; and----I say, who's that in the corner over +there--eh?" + +He was staring intently into the pier-glass in front of him. "That?" +said Leander, following his glance. "Oh! that's a statue I've bought. +She--she brightens up the place a bit, don't she?" + +"A statue, is it? Yes, of course; I knew it was a statue. Well, about +that dove. I went round after it was all over, but couldn't see a sign +of her; so----That's a queer sort of statue you've got there!" he +broke off suddenly; and Leander distinctly saw the goddess shake her arm +in fierce menace. "He's said something that's put her out," he +concluded. "I wish I knew what it was." + +"It's a classical statue, sir," he said, with what composure he might; +"they're all made like that." + +"Are they, by Jove? But, Tweddle, I say, it _moves_: it's shaking its +fist like old Harry!" + +"Oh, I think you're mistaken, sir, really! I don't perceive it myself." + +"Don't perceive it? But, hang it, man, look--look in the glass! There! +don't you see it does? Dash it! can't you _say_ it does?" + +"Flaw in the mirror, sir; when you move your 'ed, you do ketch that +effect. I've observed it myself frequent. Chin cut, sir? My fault--my +fault entirely," he admitted handsomely. + +The young man was shaved by this time, and had risen to receive his hat +and cane, when he gave a violent start as he passed the Aphrodite. +"There!" he said, breathlessly, "look at that, Tweddle; she's going to +punch my head! I suppose you'll tell me _that's_ the glass?" + +Leander trembled--this time for his own reputation; for the report that +he kept a mysterious and pugnacious statue on the premises would not +increase his custom. He must silence it, if possible. "I'm afraid it is, +sir--in a way," he remarked, compassionately. + +The young man turned paler still. "No!" he exclaimed. "You don't think +it is, though? Don't you see anything yourself? I don't either, Tweddle; +I was chaffing, that's all. I know I'm a wee bit off colour; but it's +not so bad as that. Keep off! Tell her to drop it, Tweddle!" + +[Illustration: "KEEP OFF! TELL HER TO DROP IT, TWEDDLE!"] + +For, as he spoke, the goddess had made a stride towards him. "Miserable +one!" she cried, "you have mangled one of my birds. Hence, or I crush +thee!" + +"Tweddle! Tweddle!" cried the youth, taking refuge in the other shop, +"don't let her come after me! What's she talking about, eh? You +shouldn't have these things about; they're--they're not _right_!" + +Leander shut the glass door and placed himself before it, while he tried +to assume a concerned interest. "You take my advice, sir," he said; "you +go home and keep steady." + +"Is it that?" murmured the customer. "Great Scott! I must be bad!" and +he went out into the street, shaking. + +"I don't believe I shall ever see _him_ again, either," thought Leander. +"She'll drive 'em all away if she goes on like this." But here a sudden +recollection struck him, and he slapped his thigh with glee. "Why, of +course," he said, "that's it. I've downright disgusted her; it was me +she was most put out with, and after this she'll leave me alone. Hooray! +I'll shut up everything first and get rid of the boy, and then go in and +see her, and get away to Matilda." + +When the shop was secured for the night, he re-entered the saloon with a +light step. "Well, mum," he began, "you've seen me at work, and you've +thought better of what you were proposing, haven't you now?" + +"Where is the wretched stripling who dared to slay my dove?" she cried. +"Bring him to me!" + +"What _are_ you a-talking about now?" cried the bewildered Leander. +"Who's been touching your birds? I wasn't aware you _kept_ birds." + +"Many birds are sacred to me--the silver swan, the fearless sparrow, +and, chief of all, the coral-footed dove. And one of these has that +monster slain--his own mouth hath spoken it." + +"Oh! is that all?" said Leander. "Why, he wasn't talking about a real +dove; it was a ballet girl he meant. I can't explain the difference; but +they _are_ different. And it's all talk, too. I know him; _he's_ +harmless enough. And now, mum, to come to the point; you've now had the +opportunity of forming some ideer of my calling. You've thought better +of it, haven't you?" + +"Better! ay, far better!" she cried, in a voice that thrilled with +pride. "Leander, too modestly you have rated yourself, for surely you +are great amongst the sons of men." + +"_Me!_" he gasped, utterly overcome. "How do you make that out?" + +"Do you not compel them to furnish sport for you? Have I not seen them +come in, talking boldly and loud, and yet seat themselves submissively +at a sign from you? And do you not swathe them in the garb of +humiliation, and daub their countenances with whiteness, and threaten +their bared throats with the gleaming knife, and grind their heads under +the resistless wheel? Then, having in disdain granted them their +worthless lives, you set them free; and they propitiate you with a gift, +and depart trembling." + +"Well, of all the topsy-turvy contrariness!" he protested. "You've got +it _all_ wrong; I declare you have! But I'll put you right, if it's +possible to do it." And he launched into a lengthy explanation of the +wonders she had seen, at the end of which he inquired, "_Now_ do you +understand I'm nobody in particular?" + +"It may be so," she admitted; "but what of that? Ere this have I been +wild with love for a herdsman on Phrygian hills. Aye, Adonis have I +kissed in the oakwood, and bewailed his loss. And did not Selene +descend to woo the neatherd Endymion? Wherefore, then, should I scorn +thee? and what are the differences and degrees of mortals to such as I! +Be bold; distrust your merits no longer, since I, who amongst the +goddesses obtained the prize of beauty, have chosen you for my own." + +"I don't care what prizes you won," he said, sulkily; "I'm not yours, +and I don't intend to be, either." He was watching the clock impatiently +all the while, for it was growing very near nine. + +"It is vain to struggle," she said, "since not the gods themselves can +resist Fate. We must yield, and contend not." + +"You begin it, then," he said. "Give me my ring." + +"The sole symbol of my power! the charm which has called me from my long +sleep! Never!" + +"Then," said Leander, knowing full well that his threat was an +impossible one, "I shall place the matter in the hands of a respectable +lawyer." + +"I understand you not; but it is no matter. In time I shall prevail." + +"Well, mum, you must come again another evening, if you've no +objection," said Leander, rudely, "because I've got to go out just now." + +"I will accompany you," she said. + +Leander nearly danced with frenzy. Take the statue with him to meet his +dear Matilda! He dared not. "You're very kind," he stammered, perspiring +freely; "but I couldn't think of taking you out such a foggy evening." + +"Have no cares for me," she answered; "we will go together. You shall +explain to me the ways of this changed world." + +"Catch _me_!" was Leander's elliptical comment to himself; but he had +to pretend a delighted acquiescence. "Well," he cried, "if I hadn't been +thinking how lonely it would be going out alone! and now I shall have +the honour of your company, mum. You wait a bit here, while I run +upstairs and fetch my 'at." + +But the perfidious man only waited until he was on the other side of the +door, which led from the saloon to his staircase, to lock it after him, +and slip out by the private door into the street. + +"Now, my lady," he thought triumphantly, "you're safe for awhile, at all +events. I've put up the shutters, and so you won't get out that way. And +now for Tillie!" + + + + +TWO ARE COMPANY + +VI. + + "The shape + Which has made escape, + And before my countenance + Answers me glance for glance." + + _Mesmerism._ + + +Leander hastened eagerly to his trysting-place. All these obstacles and +difficulties had rendered his Matilda tenfold dearer and more precious +to him; and besides, it was more than a fortnight since he had last seen +her. But he was troubled and anxious still at the recollection of the +Greek statue shut up in his hair-cutting saloon. What would Matilda say +if she knew about it; and still worse, what might it not do if it knew +about her? Matilda might decline to continue his acquaintance--for she +was a very right-minded girl--unless Venus, like the jealous and +vindictive heathen she had shown herself to be, were to crush her before +she even had the opportunity. + +"It's a mess," he thought disconsolately, "whatever way I look at it. +But after to-night I won't meet Matilda any more while I've got that +statue staying with me, or no one could tell the consequences." However, +when he drew near the appointed spot, and saw the slender form which +awaited him there by the railings, he forgot all but the present joy. +Even the memory of the terrible divinity could not live in the wholesome +presence of the girl he had the sense to truly and honestly love. + +Matilda Collum was straight and slim, though not tall; she had a neat +little head of light brown hair, which curled round her temples in soft +rings; her complexion was healthily pale, with the slightest tinge of +delicate pink in it; she had a round but decided chin, and her grey eyes +were large and innocently severe, except on the rare occasions when she +laughed, and then their expression was almost childlike in its gaiety. + +Generally, and especially in business hours, her pretty face was calm +and slightly haughty, and rash male customers who attempted to make the +choice of a "button-hole" an excuse for flirtation were not encouraged +to persevere. She was seldom demonstrative to Leander--it was not her +way--but she accepted his effusive affection very contentedly, and, +indeed, returned it more heartily than her principles allowed her to +admit; for she secretly admired his spirit and fluency, and, as is often +the case in her class of life, had no idea that she was essentially her +lover's superior. + +After the first greetings, they walked slowly round the square together, +his arm around her waist. Neither said very much for some minutes, but +Leander was wildly, foolishly happy, and there was no severity in +Matilda's eyes when they shone in the lamp-light. + +"Well," he said, at last, "and so I've actually got you safe back again, +my dear, darling Tillie! It seems like a long eternity since last we +met. I've been so beastly miserable, Matilda!" + +"You do seem to have got thinner in the face, Leander dear," said +Matilda, compassionately. "What _have_ you been doing while I've been +away?" + +"Only wishing my dearest girl back, that's all _I've_ been doing." + +"What! haven't you given yourself any enjoyment at all--not gone out +anywhere all the time?" + +"Not once--leastwise, that is to say----" A guilty memory of Rosherwich +made him bungle here. + +"Why, of course I didn't expect you to stop indoors all the time," said +Matilda, noticing the amendment, "so long as you never went where you +wouldn't take me." + +Oh, conscience, conscience! But Rosherwich didn't count--it was outside +the radius; and besides, he _hadn't_ enjoyed himself. + +"Well," he said, "I did go out one evening, to hear a lecture on +Astronomy at the Town Hall, in the Gray's Inn Road; but then I had the +ticket given me by a customer, and I reely was surprised to find how +regular the stars was in their habits, comets and all. But my 'Tilda is +the only star of the evening for me, to-night. I don't want to talk +about anything else." + +The diversion was successful, and Matilda asked no more inconvenient +questions. Presently she happened to cough slightly, and he touched +accusingly the light summer cloak she was wearing. + +"You're not dressed warm enough for a night like this," he said, with a +lover's concern. "Haven't you got anything thicker to put on than that?" + +"I haven't bought my winter things yet," said Matilda; "it was so mild, +that I thought I'd wait till I could afford it better. But I've chosen +the very thing I mean to buy. You know Mrs. Twilling's, at the top of +the Row, the corner shop? Well, in the window there's a perfectly lovely +long cloak, all lined with squirrel's fur, and with those nice oxidized +silver fastenings. A cloak like that lasts ever so long, and will always +look neat and quiet; and any one can wear it without being stared +after; so I mean to buy it as soon as it turns really cold." + +"Ah!" said he, "I can't have you ketching cold, you know; it ain't +summer any longer, and I--I've been thinking we must give up our evening +strolls together for the present." + +"When you've just been saying how miserable you've been without them. +Oh, Leander!" + +"Without _you_," he amended lamely. "I shall see you at aunt's, of +course; only we'd better suspend the walks while the nights are so raw. +And, oh, Tillie, ere long you will be mine, my little wife! Only to +think of you keeping the books for me with your own pretty little +fingers, and sending out the bills! (not that I give much credit). Ah, +what a blissful dream it sounds! Does it to you, Matilda?" + +"I'm not sure that you keep your books the same way as we do," she +replied demurely; "but I dare say"--(and this was a great concession for +Matilda)--"I dare say we shall suit one another." + +"Suit one another!" he cried. "Ah! we shall be inseparable as a brush +and comb, Tillie, if you'll excuse so puffessional a stimulus. And what +a future lies before me! If I can only succeed in introducing some of my +inventions to public notice, we may rise, Tilly, 'like an exclamation,' +as the poet says. I believe my new nasal splint has only to be known to +become universally worn; and I've been thinking out a little machine +lately for imparting a patrician arch to the flattest foot, that ought +to have an extensive run. I almost wish you weren't so pretty, Tillie. +I've studied you careful, and I'm bound to say, as it is there really +isn't room for any improvement I could suggest. Nature's beaten me +there, and I'm not too proud to own it." + +"Would you rather there _was_ room!" inquired Matilda. + +"From a puffessional point of view, it would have inspired me," he said. +"It would have suggested ideers, and I shouldn't have loved you less, +not if you hadn't had a tooth in your mouth nor a hair on your head; you +would still be my beautiful Tillie." + +"I would rather be as I am, thank you," said Matilda, to whom this fancy +sketch did not appeal. "And now, let's talk about something else. Do you +know that mamma is coming up to town at the end of the week on purpose +to see you?" + +"No," said Leander, "I--I didn't." + +"Yes, she's taken the whole of your aunt's first floor for a week. (You +know, she knew Miss Tweddle when she was younger, and that was how I +came to lodge there, and to meet you.) Do you remember that Sunday +afternoon you came to tea, and your aunt invited me in, because she +thought I must be feeling so dull, all alone?" + +"Ah, I should think I did! Do you remember I helped to toast the +crumpets? What a halcyon evening that was, Matilda!" + +"Was it?" she said. "I don't remember the weather exactly; but it was +nice indoors." + +"But, I say, Tillie, my own," he said, somewhat anxiously, "how does +your ma like your being engaged to me?" + +"Well, I don't think she does like it quite," said Matilda. "She says +she will reserve her consent till she sees whether you are worthy; but +directly she sees you, Leander, her objections will vanish." + +"She has got objections, then? What to?" + +"Mother always wanted me to keep my affections out of trade," said +Matilda. "You see, she never can forget what poor papa was." + +"And what was your poor papa?" asked Leander. + +"Didn't you know? He was a dentist, and that makes mamma so very +particular, you see." + +"But, hang it, Matilda! you're employed in a flower-shop, you know." + +"Yes, but mamma never really approved of it; only she had to give way +because she couldn't afford to keep me at home, and I scorned to go out +as a governess. Never mind, Leander; when she comes to know you and hear +your conversation, she will relent; her pride will melt." + +"But suppose it keeps solid; what will you do, Matilda?" + +"I am independent, Leander; and though I would prefer to marry with +mamma's approval, I shouldn't feel bound to wait for it. So long as you +are all I think you are, I shouldn't allow any one to dictate to me." + +"Bless you for those words, my angelic girl!" he said, and hugged her +close to his breast. "Now I can beard your ma with a light 'art. Oh, +Matilda! you can form no ideer how I worship you. Nothing shall ever +come betwixt us two, shall it?" + +"Nothing, as far as I am concerned, Leander," she replied. "What's the +matter?" + +He had given a furtive glance behind him after the last remarks, and his +embrace suddenly relaxed, until his arm was withdrawn altogether. + +"Nothing is the matter, Matilda," he said. "Doesn't the moon look red +through the fog?" + +"Is that why you took away your arm?" she inquired. + +"Yes--that is, no. It occurred to me I was rendering you too +conspicuous; we don't want to go about advertising ourselves, you know." + +"But who is there here to notice?" asked Matilda. + +"Nobody," he said; "oh, nobody! but we mustn't get into the _way_ of +it;" and he cast another furtive rearward look. In the full flow of his +raptures the miserable hairdresser had seen a sight which had frozen his +very marrow--a tall form, in flowing drapery, gliding up behind with a +tigress-like stealth. The statue had broken out, in spite of all his +precautions! Venus, jealous and exacting, was near enough to overhear +every word, and he could scarcely hope she had escaped seeing the arm he +had thrown round Matilda's waist. + +"You were going to tell me how you worshipped me," said Matilda. + +"I didn't say _worship_," he protested; "it--it's only images and such +that expect that. But I can tell you there's very few brothers feel to +you as I feel." + +"_Brothers_, Leander!" exclaimed Matilda, and walked farther apart from +him. + +"Yes," he said. "After all, what tie's closer than a brother? A uncle's +all very well, and similarly a cousin; but they can't feel like a +brother does, for brothers they are not." + +"I should have thought there were ties still closer," said Matilda; "you +seemed to think so too, once." + +"Oh, ah! _that_!" he said. (Every frigid word gave him a pang to utter; +but it was all for Matilda's sake.) "There's time enough to think of +that, my girl; we mustn't be in a hurry." + +"I'm _not_ in a hurry," said Matilda. + +"That's the proper way to look at it," said he; "and meanwhile I haven't +got a sister I'm fonder of than I am of you." + +"If you've nothing more to say than that, we had better part," she +remarked; and he caught at the suggestion with obvious relief. He had +been in an agony of terror, lest, even in the gathering fog, she should +detect that they were watched; and then, too, it was better to part with +her under a temporary misconception than part with her altogether. + +"Well," he said, "I mustn't keep you out any longer, with that cold." + +"You are very ready to get rid of me," said poor Matilda. + +"The real truth is," he answered, simulating a yawn with a heavy heart; +"I am most uncommon sleepy to-night, and all this standing about is too +much for me. So good-bye, and take care of yourself!" + +"I needn't say that to you," she said; "but I won't keep you up a minute +longer. I wonder you troubled to come out at all." + +"Oh," he said, carefully keeping as much in front of the statue as he +could, "it's no trouble; but you'll excuse me seeing you to the door +this evening?" + +"Oh, certainly," said Matilda, biting her lip. She touched his hand with +the ends of her fingers, and hurried away without turning her head. + +When she was out of sight, Leander faced round to the irrepressible +goddess. He was in a white rage; but terror and caution made him +suppress it to some extent. + +"So here you are again!" he said. + +"Why did you not wait for me?" she answered. "I remained long for you; +you came not, and I followed." + +"I see you did," said the aggrieved Leander; "I can't say I like being +spied upon. If you're a goddess, act as such!" + +"What! you dare to upbraid me?" she cried. "Beware, or I----" + +"I know," said Leander, flinching from her. "Don't do that; I only made +a remark." + +"I have the right to follow you; I choose to do so." + +"If you must, you must," he groaned; "but it does seem hard that I +mayn't slip out for a few minutes' talk with my only sister." + +"You said you were going to run for business, and you told me you had +three sisters." + +"So I have; but only one _youngest_ one." + +"And why did they not all come to talk with you?" + +"I suppose because the other two stayed at home," rejoined Leander, +sulkily. + +"I know not why, but I doubt you; that one who came, she is not like +you!" + +"No," said Leander, with a great show of candour, "that's what every one +says; all our family are like that; we are like in a way, because we're +all of us so different. You can tell us anywhere just by the difference. +My father and mother were both very unlike: I suppose we take after +them." + +The goddess seemed satisfied with this explanation. "And now that I have +regained you, let us return to your abode," she said; and Leander walked +back by her side, a prey to rage and humiliation. + +"It is a miserable thing," he was thinking, "for a man in my rank of +life to have a female statue trotting after him like a great dorg. I'm +d----d if I put up with it! Suppose we happen on somebody as knows me!" + +[Illustration: "IT IS A MISERABLE THING," HE WAS THINKING, "FOR A MAN +... TO HAVE A FEMALE STATUE TROTTING AFTER HIM LIKE A GREAT DORG."] + +Fortunately, at that time of night Bloomsbury Square is not much +frequented; the increasing fog prevented the apparition of a female in +classical garments from attracting the notice to which it might +otherwise have been exposed, and they reached the shop without any +disagreeable encounter. + +"She shan't stop in the saloon," he determined; "I've had enough of +that! If you've no objections," he said, with a mixture of deference and +dictation, "I shall be obliged if you'd settle yourself in the little +shrine in the upstairs room before proceeding to evaporate out of your +statue; it would be more agreeable to my feelings." + +"Ah!" she said, smiling, "you would have me nearer you? Your stubborn +heart is yielding; a little while, and you will own the power of +Aphrodite!" + +"Now, don't you go deceiving yourself with any such ideers," said the +hairdresser, irritably. "I shan't do no such thing, so you needn't think +it. And, to come to the point, how long do you mean to carry on this +little game?" + +"Game?" repeated the goddess, absently. + +"How long are you going to foller me about in this ridiclous way?" + +"Till you submit, and profess your willingness to redeem your promise." + +"Oh, and you're coming every evening till then, are you?" + +"At nightfall of each day I have power to revisit you." + +"Well, come then!" he said, with a fling of impatient anger. "I tell you +beforehand that you won't get anything by it. Not if you was to come and +bring a whole stonemason's yard of sculptures along with you, you +wouldn't! You ought to know better than to come pestering a respectable +tradesman in this bold-faced manner!" + +She smiled with a languid contemptuous tolerance, which maddened +Leander. + +"Rave on," she said. "Truly, you are a sorry prize for such as I to +stoop to win; yet I will it, nor shall you escape me. There will come a +day when, forsaken by all you hold dear on earth, despised, ruined, +distracted, you will pray eagerly for the haven of refuge to which I +alone can guide you. Take heed, lest your conduct now be remembered +then! I have spoken." + +They were indeed her last words that evening, and they impressed the +hairdresser, in spite of himself. Custom habituates the mind to any +marvel, and already he had overcome his first horror at the periodical +awakenings of the statue, and surprise was swallowed up by exasperation; +now, however, he quailed under her dark threats. Could it ever really +come to pass that he would sue to this stone to hide him in the realms +of the supernatural? + +"I know this," he told himself, "if it once gets about that there's a +hairdresser to be seen in Bloomsbury chivied about after dark by a +classical statue, I shan't dare to show my face. Yet I don't know how +I'm to prevent her coming out after me, at all events now and then. If +she was only a little more like other people, I shouldn't mind so much; +but it's more than I can bear to have to go about with a _tablow vivant_ +or a _pose plastique_ on my arm!" + +All at once he started to his feet. "I've got it!" he cried, and went +downstairs to his laboratory, to reappear with some camel-hair brushes, +grease-paints, and a selection from his less important discoveries in +the science of cosmetics; namely, an "eyebrow accentuator," a vase of +"Tweddle's Cream of Carnations" and "Blondinette Bloom," a china box of +"Conserve of Coral" for the lips, and one of his most expensive +_chevelures_. + +He was trembling as he arranged them upon his table; not that he was +aware of the enormity of the act he contemplated, but he was afraid the +goddess might revisit the marble while he was engaged upon it. + +He furnished the blank eye-sockets with a pair of eyes, which, if not +exactly artistic, at least supplied a want; he pencilled the eyebrows, +laid on several coats of the "Bloom," which he suffused cunningly with a +tinge of carnation, and stained the pouting lips with his "Conserve of +Coral." + +So far, perhaps, he had not violated the canons of art, and may even +have restored to the image something of its pristine hues; but his next +addition was one the vandalism of which admits of no possible defence, +and when he deftly fitted the coiffure of light closely-curled hair upon +the noble classical head, even Leander felt dimly that something was +wrong! + +"I don't know how it is," he pondered; "she looks more natural, but not +half so respectable. However, when she's got something on to cover the +marble, there won't be anything much to notice about her. I'll buy a +cloak for her the first thing to-morrow morning. Matilda was saying +something about a shop near here where I could get that. And then, if +this Venus must come following me about, she'll look less outlandish at +any rate, and that's something!" + + + + +A FURTHER PREDICAMENT + +VII. + + "So long as the world contains us both, + Me the loving and you the loth, + While the one eludes, must the other pursue." + + _Browning._ + + +Immediately after breakfast the next day, Leander went out and paid a +visit to Miss Twilling's, bringing away with him a hooded cloak of the +precise kind he remembered Matilda to have described as unlikely to +render its owner conspicuous. With this garment he succeeded in +disguising the statue to such a degree, that it was far less likely than +before that the goddess's appearance in public would excite any +particular curiosity--a result which somewhat relieved his anxiety as to +her future proceedings. + +But all that day his thoughts were busy with Matilda. He must, he +feared, have deeply offended her by his abrupt change on the previous +night; and now he could not expect to meet her again for days, and would +not know how to explain his conduct if he did meet her. + +If he could only dare to tell her everything; but from such a course he +shrank. Matilda would not only be extremely indignant (though, in very +truth, he had done nothing positively wrong as yet), but, with her +strict notions and well-regulated principles, she would assuredly +recoil from a lover who had brought himself into a predicament so +hideous. He would tell her all when, or if, he succeeded in extricating +himself. + +But he was to learn the nature of Matilda's sentiments sooner than he +expected. It was growing dusk, and he was unpacking a parcel of goods in +his front shop--for his saloon happened to be empty just then--when the +outer door swung back, and a slight girlish figure entered, after a +pause of indecision on the threshold. It was Matilda. + +Had she come to break it off--to reproach him? He was prepared for no +less; she had never paid him a visit like this alone before; and some +doubts of the propriety of the thing seemed to be troubling her now, for +she did not speak. + +"Matilda," he faltered, "don't tell me you have come in a spirit of +unpleasantness, for I can't bear it." + +"Don't you deserve that I should?" she said, but not angrily. "You know, +you were very strange in behaving as you did last night. I couldn't tell +what to make of it." + +"I know," he said confusedly; "it was something come over me, all of a +sudden like. I can't understand what made me like that; but, oh, Tillie, +my dearest love, my 'art was busting with adoration all the time! The +circumstances was highly peculiar; but I don't know that I could explain +them." + +"You needn't, Leander; I have found you out." She said this with a +strange significance. + +"What!" he almost shrieked. "You don't mean it, Matilda! Tell me, quick! +has the discovery changed your feelings towards me? Has it?" + +"Yes," she said softly. "I--I think it has; but you ought not to have +done it, Leander." + +"I know," he groaned. "I was a fool, Tillie; a fool! But I may get out +of it yet," he added. "I can get her to let me off. I must--I will!" + +Matilda opened her eyes. "But, Leander dear, listen; don't be so hasty. +I never said I _wanted_ her to let you off, did I?" + +He looked at her in a dazed manner. "I rather thought," he said slowly, +"that it might have put you out a little. I see I was mistook." + +"You might have known that I should be more pleased than angry, I should +think," said Matilda. + +"More pleased than----I might have known!" exclaimed the bewildered man. +"Oh, you can't reely be taking it as cool as this! Will you kindly +inform me _what_ it is you're alludin' to in this way?" + +"What is the use of pretending? You know I know. And it _is_ colder, +much colder, this morning. I felt it directly I got up." + +"Quite a change in the weather, I'm sure," he said mechanically; "it +feels like a frost coming on." ("Has Matilda looked in to tell me the +weather's changed?" he was wondering within himself. "Either I'm mad, or +Matilda is.") + +"You dear old goose!" said Matilda, with an unusual effusiveness; "you +shan't tease me like this! Do you think I've no eyes and no feelings? +Any girl, I don't care how proud or offended, would come round on such +proof of devotedness as I've had this evening. When I saw it gone, I +felt I must come straight in and thank you, and tell you I shouldn't +think any more of last night. I couldn't stop myself." + +"When you saw _what_ gone?" cried the hairdresser, rubbing up his hair. + +"The cloak," said Matilda; and then, as she saw his expression, her own +changed. "Leander Tweddle," she asked, in a dry hard voice, "have I been +making a wretched fool of myself? _Didn't_ you buy that cloak?" + +He understood at last. He had gone to Miss Twilling's chiefly because he +was in a hurry and it was close by, and he knew nowhere else where he +could be sure of getting what he required. Now, by some supreme stroke +of the ill-luck which seemed to be pursuing him of late, he had +unwittingly purchased the identical garment on which Matilda had fixed +her affections! How was he to notice that they took it out of the window +for him? + +All this flashed across him as he replied, "Yes, yes, Tillie, I did buy +a cloak there; but are you sure it was the same you told me about?" + +"Do you think a woman doesn't know the look of a thing like that, when +it's taken her fancy?" said Matilda. "Why, I could tell you every clasp +and tassel on that cloak; it wasn't one you'd see every day, and I knew +it was gone the moment I passed the window. It quite upset me, for I'd +set my heart on it so; and I ran in to Miss Twilling, and asked her what +had become of it; and when she said she'd sold it that morning, I +thought I should have fainted. You see, it never struck me that it could +be you; for how could I dream that you'd be clever enough to go and +choose the very one? Leander, it _was_ clever of you!" + +"Yes," he said, with a bitter rail against himself. "I'm a clever chap, +I am! But how did you find out?" + +"Oh, I made Miss Twilling (I often get little things there), I made her +describe who she sold it to, and she said she thought it was to a +gentleman in the hair-cutting persuasion who lived near; and then, of +course, I guessed who bought it." + +"Tillie," gasped Leander, "I--I didn't _mean_ you to guess; the purpose +for which I require that cloak is my secret." + +"Oh, you silly man, when I've guessed it! And I take it just as kind of +you as if it was to be all a surprise. I was wishing as I came along I +could afford to buy it at once, it struck so cold coming out of our +place; and you had actually bought it for me all the time! Thank you +ever so much, Leander dear!" + +He had only to accept the position; and he did. "I'm glad you're +pleased," he said; "I intended it as a surprise." + +"And I am surprised," said Matilda; "because, do you know, last night, +when I went home, I was feeling very cross with you. I kept thinking +that perhaps you didn't care for me any more, and were trying to break +it off; and, oh, all sorts of horrid things I kept thinking! And aunt +gave me a message for you this morning, and I was so out of temper I +wouldn't leave it. And now to find you've been so kind!" + +She stretched out her hand to him across the counter, and he took and +held it tight; he had never seen her looking sweeter, nor felt that she +was half so dear to him. After all, his blunder had brought them +together again, and he was grateful to it. + +At last Matilda said, "You were quite right about this wrapper, Leander; +it's not half warm enough for a night like this. I'm really afraid to go +home in it." + +He knew well enough what she intended him to do; but just then he dared +not appear to understand. "It isn't far, only to Millman Street," he +said; "and you must walk fast, Tillie. I wish I could leave the shop and +come too." + +"You want me to ask you downright," she said pouting. "You men can't +even be kind prettily. Don't you want to see how I look in your cloak, +Leander?" + +What could he say after that? He must run upstairs, deprive the goddess +of her mantle, and hand it over to Matilda. She had evidently made up +her mind to have that particular cloak, and he must buy the statue +another. It would be expensive; but there was no help for it. + +"Certainly," he said, "you shall have it now, dearest, if you'd like to. +I'll run up and fetch it down, if you'll wait." + +He rushed upstairs, two steps at a time, and, flinging open the door of +a cupboard, began desperately to uncloak his Aphrodite. She was lifeless +still, which he considered fortunate. + +But the goddess seemed to have a natural propensity to retain any form +of portable property. One of her arms was so placed that, tug and +stretch as he would, Leander could not get the cloak from her shoulders, +and his efforts only broke one of the oxidized silver fastenings, and +tore part of the squirrel's-fur lining. + +It was useless, and with a damp forehead he came down again to his +expectant _fiancée_. + +"Why, you haven't got it, after all!" she cried, her face falling. + +"Tillie, my own dear girl," he said, "I'm uncommon sorry, upon my soul I +am, but you can't have that cloak this evening." + +"But why, Leander, why?" + +"Because one of the clasps is broke. It must be sent back to be +repaired." + +"I don't mind that. Let me have it just as it is." + +"And the lining's torn. No, Matilda, I shan't make you a present of a +damaged article. I shall send it back. They must change it for me." +("Then," he thought, "I can buy my Matilda another.") + +"I don't care for any other but that," she said; "and you can't match +it." + +"Oh, lor!" he thought, "and she knows every inch of it. The goddess must +give it up; it'll be all the same to _her_. Very well then, dearest, you +_shall_ have that, but not till it's done up. I must have my way in +this; and as soon as ever I can, I'll bring it round." + +"Leander, could you bring it me by Sunday," she said eagerly, "when you +come?" + +"Why Sunday?" he asked. + +"Because--oh, that was the message your aunt asked me to bring you; it +was in a note, but I've lost it. She told me what was inside though, and +it's this. Will you give her the pleasure of your company at her mid-day +dinner at two o'clock, to be introduced to mamma? And she said you were +to be sure and not forget her ring." + +He tottered for a moment. The ring! Yes, there was that to be got off, +too, besides the cloak. + +"Haven't you got the ring from Vidler's yet?" she said. "He's had it +such a time." + +He had told her where he had left it for alterations. "Yes," he said, +"he has had it a time. It's disgraceful the way that old Vidler potters +and potters. I shall go round and 'urry him up. I won't stand it any +longer." + +Here a customer came in, and Matilda slipped away with a hurried +good-bye. + +"I've got till Sunday to get straight," the hairdresser thought, as he +attended on the new comer, "the best part of a week; surely I can talk +that Venus over by that time." + +When he was alone he went up to see her, without losing a moment. He +must have left the door unlocked in his haste, for she was standing +before the low chimney-glass, regarding herself intently. As he came in +she turned. + +[Illustration: SHE WAS STANDING BEFORE THE LOW CHIMNEY-GLASS, REGARDING +HERSELF INTENTLY.] + +"Who has done all this?" she demanded. "Tell me, was it you?" + +"I did take the liberty, mum," he faltered guiltily. + +"You have done well," she said graciously. "With reverent and loving +care have you imparted hues as of life to these cheeks, and decked my +image in robes of costly skins." + +"Don't name it, mum," he said. + +"But what are these?" she continued, raising a hand to the light +ringlets on her brow. "I like them not--they are unseemly. The waving +lines, parted by the bold chisel of a Grecian sculptor, resemble my +ambrosial tresses more nearly than this abomination." + +"You may go all over London," said Leander, "and you won't find a +coiffure, though I say it, to set closer and defy detection more +naturally than the one you've got on; selected from the best imported +foreign hair in the market, I do assure you." + +"I accept the offering for the spirit in which it was presented, though +I approve it not otherwise." + +"You'll find it wear very comfortable," said Leander; "but that cloak, +now I come to see it on, it reely is most unworthy of you, a very +inferior piece of goods, and, if you'll allow me, I'll change it," and +he gently extended his hand to draw it off. + +"Touch it not," said the goddess; "for, having once been placed upon my +effigy, it is consecrated to my service." + +"For mercy's sake, let me get another one--one with more style about +it," he entreated; "my credit hangs on it!" + +"I am content," she said, "more than content. No more words--I retain +it. And you have pleased me by this conduct, my hairdresser. Unknown it +may be, even to yourself, your heart is warming in the sunshine of my +favour; you are coy and wayward, but you are yielding. Though pent in +this form, carved by a mortal hand, I shall prevail in the end. I shall +have you for my own." + +He rumpled his hair wildly, "'Orrid obstinate these goddesses are," he +thought. "What am I to say to Matilda now? If I could only find a way of +getting this statue shut up somewhere where she couldn't come and bother +me, I'd take my chance of the rest. I can't go on with this sort of +thing every evening. I'm sick and tired of it." + +Then something occurred to him. "Could I delude her into it?" he asked +himself. "She's soft enough in some things, and, for all she's a +goddess, she don't seem up to our London ways yet. I'll have a try, +anyway." + +So he began: "Didn't I understand you to observe, mum, some time back, +that the pidgings and sparrers were your birds?" + +"They are mine," she said--"or they were mine in days that are past." + +"Well," he said, "there's a place close by, with railings in front of +it, and steps and pillars as you go in, and if you like to go and look +in the yard there you'll find pidgings enough to set you up again. I +shouldn't wonder if they've been keeping them for you all this time." + +"They shall not lose by it," she said. "Go thither, and bring me my +birds." + +"I think," he said, "it would be better if you'd go yourself; they don't +know me at the British Museum. But if you was to go to the beadle at the +lodge and demand them, I've no doubt you'd be attended to; and you'll +see some parties at the gates in long coats and black cloth 'elmets, +which if you ask them to ketch you a few sparrers, they'll probably be +most happy to oblige." + +"My beloved birds!" she said. "I have been absent from them so long. +Yes, I will go. Tell me where." + +He got his hat, and went with her to a corner of Bloomsbury Square, from +which they could see the railings fronting the Museum in the +steel-tinted haze of electric light. + +"That's the place," he said. "Keeps its own moonshine, you see. Go +straight in, and tell 'em you're come to fetch your doves." + +"I will do so," she said, and strode off in imperious majesty. + +He looked after her with an irrepressible chuckle. + +"If she ain't locked up soon, I don't know myself," he said, and went +back to his establishment. + +He had only just dismissed his apprentice and secured the shop for the +night, when he heard the well-known tread up the staircase. "Back again! +I don't have any luck," he muttered; and with reason, for the statue, +wearing an expression of cold displeasure, advanced into his room. He +felt a certain sense of guilt as he saw her. + +"Got the birds?" he inquired, with a nervous familiarity, "or couldn't +you bring yourself to ask for them?" + +"You have misled me," she said. "My birds are not there. I came to gates +in front of a stately pile--doubtless erected to some god; at the +entrance stood a priest, burly and strong, with gold-embroidered +garments----" + +("The beadle, I suppose," commented Leander.) + +"I passed him unseen, and roamed unhindered over the courtyard. It was +bare, save for one or two worshippers who crossed it. Presently a winged +thing fluttered down to my feet. But though a dove indeed, it was no +bird of mine--it knew me not. And it was draggled, begrimed, uncleanly, +as never were the doves of Aphrodite. And the sparrows (for these, too, +did I see), they were worse. I motioned them from me with loathing. I +renounced them all. Thus, Leander, have I fared in following your +counsels!" + +"Well, it ain't my fault," he said; "it's the London soot makes them +like that. There's some at the Guildhall: perhaps they're cleaner." + +"No," she said, vehemently; "I will seek no further. This is a city of +darkness and mire. I am in a land, an age, which know me not: this much +have I learnt already. The world was fairer and brighter of old!" + +"You see," said Leander, "if you only go about at night, you can't +expect sunshine! But I'm told there's cleaner and brighter places to be +seen abroad--if you cared to go there?" he insinuated. + +"To one place only, to my Cyprian caves, will I go," she declared, "and +with you!" + +"We'll talk about that some other time," he answered, soothingly. "Lady +Venus, look here, don't you think you've kept that ring long enough? +I've asked you civilly enough, goodness knows, to 'and it over, times +without number. I ask you once more to act fair. You know it came to you +quite accidental, and yet you want to take advantage of it like this. It +ain't right!" + +She met this with her usual scornful smile. "Listen, Leander," she said. +"Once before--how long since I know not--a mortal, in sport or accident, +placed his ring as you have done upon the finger of a statue erected to +me. I claimed fulfilment of the pledge then, as now; but a force I +could not withstand was invoked against me, and I was made to give up +the ring, and with it the power and rights I strove to exert. But I will +not again be thwarted: no force, no being shall snatch you from me; so +be not deceived. Submit, ere you excite my fierce displeasure; submit +now, since in the end submit you must!" + +There was a dreadful force in the sonorous tones which made him shiver; +a rigid inflexible will lurked in this form, with all its subtle curves +and feminine grace. If goddesses really retained any power in these +days, there could be no doubt that she would use hers to the full. + +Yet he still struggled. "I can't make you give up the ring," he said; +"but no more you can't make me leave my--my establishment, and go away +underground with you. I'm an Englishman, I am, and Englishmen are free, +mum; p'r'aps you wasn't aware of that? I've got a will of my own, and so +you'll find it!" + +"Poor worm!" she said pityingly (and the hairdresser hated to be +addressed as a poor worm), "why oppose thy weak will to mine? Why enlist +my pride against thyself; for what hast thou of thine own to render thy +conquest desirable? Thou art bent upon defiance, it seems. I leave thee +to reflect if such a combat can be equal. Farewell; and at my next +coming let me find a change!" + +And the spirit of the goddess fled, as before, to the mysterious realms +from which she had been so incautiously evoked, leaving Leander almost +frantic with rage, superstitious terror, and baffled purposes. + +"I must get the ring off," he muttered, "_and_ the cloak, somehow. Oh! +if I could only find out how----There was that other chap--_he_ got off; +she said as much. If I could get out how he managed it, why couldn't I +do the same? But who's to tell me? She won't--not if she knows it! I +wonder if it's in any history. Old Freemoult would know it if it +was--he's such a scholar. Why, he gave me a name for that 'airwash +without having to think twice over it! I'll try and pump old Freemoult. +I'll do it to-morrow, too. I'll see if I'm to be domineered over by a +image out of a tea-garden. Eh? I--I don't care if she _did_ hear me!" + +So Leander went to his troubled pillow, full of this new resolution, +which seemed to promise a way of escape. + + + + +BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND THE DEEP SEA + +VIII. + + "Some, when they take _Revenge_, are Desirous the party should know + whence it cometh: This is the more Generous."--BACON. + + +In the Tottenham Court Road was a certain Commercial Dining-room, where +Leander occasionally took his evening meal, after the conclusion of his +day's work, and where Mr. Freemoult was accustomed to take his supper, +on leaving the British Museum Library. + +To this eating-house Leander repaired the very next evening, urged by a +consuming desire to learn the full particulars of the adventure which +his prototype in misfortune had met with. + +It was an unpretending little place, with the bill of fare wafered to +the door, and red curtains in the windows, setting off a display of +joints, cauliflowers, and red herrings. He passed through into a long, +low room, with dark-brown grained walls, partitioned off in the usual +manner; and taking a seat in a box facing the door, he ordered dinner +from one of the shirtsleeved attendants. + +The first glance had told him that the man he wished to see was not +there, but he knew he must come in before long; and, in fact, before +Leander's food could be brought, the old scholar made his appearance. + +He was hardly a man of attractive exterior, being of a yellow +complexion, with a stubbly chin, and lank iron-grey locks. He wore a +tall and superannuated hat with a staring nap, and the pockets of his +baggy coat bulged with documents. Altogether he did not seem exactly the +person to be an authority on the subject of Venus. + +But, as the hairdresser was aware, he had the reputation of being a mine +of curious and out-of-the-way information, though few thought it worth +their while to work him. He gained a living, however, by hackwork of +various descriptions, and was in slightly better circumstances than he +allowed to appear. + +As he passed slowly along the central passage, in his usual state of +abstraction, Leander touched him eagerly on the sleeve. "Come in 'ere, +Mr. Freemoult, sir," he said; "there's room in this box." + +"It's the barber, is it?" said the old man. "What do you want me to eat +with you for, eh?" + +"Why, for the pleasure of your company, sir, of course," said Leander, +politely. + +"Well," said the old gentleman, sitting down, while documents bristled +out of him in all directions, "there are not many who would say +that--not many now." + +"Don't you say so, Mr. Freemoult, sir. I'm sure it's a benefit, if only +for your conversation. I often say, 'I never meet Mr. Freemoult without +I learn somethink;' I do indeed." + +"Then we must have met less often than I had imagined." + +"Now, you're too modest, sir; you reelly are--a scholar like you, too! +Talking of scholarship, you'll be gratified to hear that that title you +were good enough to suggest for the 'Regenerator' is having a quite +surprising success. I disposed of five bottles over the counter only +yesterday." ("These old scholars," was his wily reflection, "like being +flattered up.") + +"Does that mean you've another beastly bottle you want me to stand +godfather to?" growled the ungrateful old gentleman. + +"Oh no, indeed, sir! It's only----But p'r'aps you'll allow me previously +the honour of sending out for whatever beverage you was thinking of +washing down your boiled beef with, sir." + +"Do you know who I am?" Mr. Freemoult burst out. "I'm a scholar, and +gentleman enough still to drink at my own expense!" + +"I intended no offence, I'm sure, sir; it was only meant in a friendly +way." + +"That is the offence, sir; that _is_ the offence! But, there, we'll say +no more about it; you can't help your profession, and I can't help my +prejudices. What was it you wanted to ask me?" + +"Well," said Leander, "I was desirous of getting some information +respecting--ahem--a party by the name of (if I've caught the foreign +pronounciation) Haphrodite, otherwise known as Venus. Do you happen to +have heard tell of her?" + +"Have I had a classical education, sir, or haven't I? Heard of her? Of +course I have. But why, in the name of Mythology, any hairdresser living +should trouble his head about Aphrodite, passes my comprehension. Leave +her alone, sir!" + +"It's her who won't leave _me_ alone!" thought Leander; but he did not +say so. "I've a very particular reason for wishing to know; and I'm sure +if you could tell me all you'd heard about her, I'd take it very kind of +you." + +"Want to pick my brains; well, you wouldn't be the first. But I am +here, sir, to rest my brain and refresh my body, not to deliver +peripatetic lectures to hairdressers on Grecian mythology." + +"Well," said Leander, "I never meant you to give your information +peripatetic; I'm willing to go as far as half a crown." + +"Conf----But, there, what's the good of being angry with you? Is this +the sort of thing you want for your half-crown?--Aphrodite, a later form +of the Assyrian Astarte; the daughter, according to some theogonies, of +Zeus and Dione; others have it that she was the offspring of the foam of +the sea, which gathered round the fragments of the mutilated Uranos----" + +"That don't seem so likely, do it, sir?" said Leander. + +"If you are going to crop in with idiotic remarks, I shall confine +myself to my supper." + +"Don't stop, Mr. Freemoult, sir; it's most instructive. I'm attending." + +But the old gentleman, after a manner he had, was sunk in a dreamy +abstraction for the moment, in which he apparently lost the thread, as +he resumed, "Whereupon Zeus, to punish her, gave her in wedlock to his +deformed son, Hephæstus." + +"She never mentioned him to _me_," thought Leander; "but I suppose she's +a widow goddess by this time; I'm sure I _hope_ so." + +"Whom," Mr. Freemoult was saying, "she deceived upon several occasions, +notably in the case of ----" And here he launched into a scandalous +chronicle, which determined Leander more than ever that Matilda must +never know he had entertained a personage with such a past. + +"Angered by her indiscretions, Zeus inspired her with love for a mortal +man." + +"Poor devil!" said Leander, involuntarily. "And what became of _him_, +sir?" + +"There were several thus distinguished; amongst others, Anchises, +Adonis, and Cinyras. Of these, the first was struck by lightning; the +second slain by a wild boar; and the third is reputed to have perished +in a contest with Apollo." + +"They don't seem to have had no luck, any of them," was Leander's +depressed conclusion. + +"Aphrodite, or Venus, as you choose to call her, took a prominent part +in the Trojan war, the origin of which ten years' struggle may be traced +to a certain golden apple." + +"What an old rag-bag it is!" thought Leander. "I'm only wasting money on +him. He's like a bran-pie at a fancy fair: what you get out of him is +always the thing you didn't want." + +"No, no, Mr. Freemoult," he said, with some impatience; "leave out about +the war and the apple. It--it isn't either of them as I wanted to hear +about." + +"Then I have done," said the old man, curtly. "You've had considerably +more than half a crown's worth, as it is." + +"Look here, Mr. Freemoult," said the reckless hairdresser, "if you can't +give me no better value, I don't mind laying out another sixpence in +questions." + +"Put your questions, then, by all means; and I'll give you your fair +sixpenn'orth of answers. Now, then, I'm ready for you. What's your +difficulty? Out with it." + +"Why," said Leander, in no small confusion, "isn't there a story +somewhere of a statue to Venus as some young man (a long time back it +was, of course) was said to have put his ring on? and do you know the +rights of it? I--I can't remember how it ended, myself." + +"Wait a bit, sir; I think I do remember something of the legend you +refer to. You found it in the _Earthly Paradise_, I make no doubt?" + +"I found it in Rosherwich Gardens," Leander very nearly blurted out; but +he stopped himself, and said instead, "I don't think I've ever been +there, sir; not to remember it." + +"Well, well! you're no lover of poetry, that's very evident; but the +story is there. Yes, yes; and Burton has a version of it, too, in his +_Anatomy_. How does it go? Give my head a minute to clear, and I'll tell +you. Ha! I have it! It was something like this: There was a certain +young gentleman of Rome who, on his wedding-day, went out to play +tennis; and in the tennis-court was a brass statue of the goddess +Venus----" + +("Mine _ought_ to be brass, from her goings on," thought Leander.) + +"And while he played he took off his finger-ring and put it upon the +statue's hand; a mighty foolish act, as you will agree." + +"Ah!" said Leander, shaking his head; "you may say that! What next, +sir?" He became excited to find that he really was on the right track at +last. + +"Why, when the game was over, and he came to get his ring, he found he +couldn't get it off again. Ha! ha!" and the old man chuckled softly, and +then relapsed once more into silence. + +"Yes, yes, Mr. Freemoult, sir! I'm a-listening; it's very funny; only do +go on!" + +"Go on? Where was I? Hadn't I finished? Ah, to be sure! Well, so Paris +gave _her_ the apple, you see." + +"I didn't understand you to allude to no apple," said his puzzled +hearer; "and it was at Rome, I thought, not Paris. Bring your mind more +to it, sir; we'd got to the ring not coming off the statue." + +"I know, sir; I know. My mind's clear enough, let me tell you. That very +night (as I was about to say, if you'd had patience to hear me) Venus +stepped in and parted the unfortunate pair----" + +"It was a apple just now, you aggravating old muddle 'ed!" said Leander, +internally. + +"Venus informed the young man that he had betrothed himself to her by +that ring" ("Same game exactly," thought the pupil), "and--and, in +short, she led him such a life for some nights, that he could bear it no +longer. So at length he repaired to a certain mighty magician +called----Let me see, what was his name again? It wasn't Agrippa--was it +Albertus? Odd; it has escaped me for the moment." + +"Never mind, sir; call him Jones." + +"I will _not_ call him Jones, sir! I had it on my tongue--there, +_Palumbus_! Palumbus it was. Well, Palumbus told him the goddess would +never cease to trouble him, unless he could get back the ring--unless he +could get back the ring." + +Leander's heart began to beat high; the solution of his difficulty was +at hand. It was something to know for certain that upon recovery of the +ring the goddess's power would be at an end. It only remained to find +out how the other young man managed it. "Yes, Mr. Freemoult?" he said +interrogatively; for the old gentleman had run down again. + +"I was only thinking it out. To resume, then. No sooner had the magician +(whose name as I said was Apollonius) come to the wedding, than he +promptly conjectured the bride to be a serpent; whereupon she vanished +incontinently, after the manner of serpents, with the house and +furniture." + +"Haven't you missed out a lot, sir?" inquired Leander, deferentially; +"because it don't seem to me to hook on quite. What became of Venus and +the ring?" + +"How the dickens am I to tell you, if you will interrupt? Ring! _What_ +ring? Why, yes; the magician gave the young man a certain letter, and +told him to go to a particular cross-road outside the city, at dead of +night, and wait for Saturn to pass by in procession, with his fallen +associates. This he did, and presented the magician's letter; which +Saturn, after having read, called Venus to him, who was riding in front, +and commanded her to deliver up the ring." + +Here he stopped, as if he had nothing to add. + +"And did she, sir?" asked Leander, breathlessly. + +"Did she what? give up the ring? Of course she did. Haven't I been +saying so? Why not?" + +"Well," observed Leander, "so that's how _he_ got out of it, was it? +Hah! he was a lucky chap. Those were the days when magicians did a good +trade, I suppose? Should you say there were any such parties now, on the +quiet like, eh, sir?" + +"Bah! Magic is a lost art, degraded to dark séances and juvenile +parties--the last magician dead for more than two hundred years. Don't +expose your ignorance, sir, by any more such questions." + +"No," said Leander; "I thought as much. And so, if any one was to get +into such a fix nowadays--of course, that's only my talk, but if they +did--there ain't a practising magician anywhere to help him out of it. +That's your opinion, ain't it, sir?" + +"As the danger of such a contingency is not immediate," was the reply, +"the want of a remedy need not, in my humble opinion, cause you any +grave uneasiness." + +"No," agreed Leander, dejectedly. "I don't care, of course. I was only +thinking that, in case--but there, it's no odds! Well, Mr. Freemoult, +you've told me what I was curious to know, and here's your little +honnyrarium, sir--two shillings and two sixpences, making three +shillings in all, pre-cisely." + +"Keep your money, sir," said the old man, with contemptuous good humour. +"My working hours are done for the day, and you're welcome enough to any +instruction you're capable of receiving from my remarks. It's not saying +much, I dare say." + +"Oh, you told it very clear, considering, sir, I'm sure! I don't grudge +it." + +"Keep it, I tell you, and say no more about it." + +So, expressing his thanks, Leander left the place; and, when he was +outside, felt more keenly than ever the blow his hopes had sustained. + +He knew the whole story of his predecessor in misfortune now, and, as a +precedent, it was worse than useless. + +True, for an instant a wild idea had crossed his mind, of seeking some +lonely suburban cross-road at dead of night, just to see if anything +came of it. "The last time was several hundred years ago, it seems," he +told himself; "but there's no saying that Satan mightn't come by, for +all that. Here's Venus persecuting as lively as ever, and I never heard +the devil was dead. I've a good mind to take the tram to the Archway, +and walk out till I find a likely-looking place." + +But, on reflection, he gave this up. "If he did come by, I couldn't +bring him a line--not even from the conjuror in High 'Oborn--and Satan +might make me put my hand to something binding, and I shouldn't be no +better off. No; I don't see no way of getting back my ring and poor +Tillie's cloak, nor yet getting rid of that goddess, any more than +before. There's one comfort, I can't be any worse off than I am." + +Oppressed by these gloomy reflections, he returned to his home, +expecting a renewal of his nightly persecution from the goddess; but +from some cause, into which he was too grateful to care to inquire, the +statue that evening showed no sign of life in his presence, and after +waiting with the cupboard open for some time in suspense, he ventured to +make himself some coffee. + +He had scarcely tasted it, however, before he heard, from the passage +below, a low whistle, followed by the peculiar stave by which a modern +low-life Blondel endeavours to attract attention. The hairdresser paid +no attention, being used, as a Londoner, to hearing such signals, and +not imagining they could be intended for his ear. + +But presently a handful of gravel rattled against his window, and the +whistle was repeated. He went to the window cautiously, and looked out. +Below were two individuals, rather carefully muffled; their faces, which +were only indistinctly seen, were upturned to him. + +He retreated, trembling. He had had so much to think of lately, that the +legal danger he was running, by harbouring the detested statue, was +almost forgotten; but now he remembered the Inspector's words, and his +legs bent beneath him. Could these people be _detectives_? + +"Is that Mr. Tweddle up there?" said a voice below--"because if it is, +he'd better come down, double quick, and let us in, that's all!" + +"'Ere, don't you skulk up there!" added a coarser voice. "We know +y'er there; and if yer don't come down to us, why, we'll come up to +you!" + +This brought Leander forward again. "Gentlemen," he said, leaning out, +and speaking in an agitated whisper, "for goodness' sake, what do you +want with me?" + +"You let us in, and we'll tell you." + +"Will it do if I come down and speak to you outside?" said Leander. + +There was a consultation between the two at this, and at the end of it +the first man said: "It's all the same to us, where we have our little +confabulation. Come down, and look sharp about it!" + +Leander came down, taking care to shut the street door behind him. "You +ain't the police?" he said, apprehensively. + +They each took an arm, and walked him roughly off between them towards +Queen Square. "We'll show you who we are," they said. + +"I--I demand your authority for this," gasped Leander. "What am I +charged with?" + +They had brought him into the gloomiest part of the square, where the +houses, used as offices in the daytime, were now dark and deserted. Here +they jammed him up against the railings, and stood guard over him, while +he was alarmed to perceive a suppressed ferocity in the faces of both. + +"What are you charged with? Grr----! For 'arf a pint I'd knock your +bloomin 'ed in!" said the coarser gentleman of the two--an evasive form +of answer which did not seem to promise a pleasant interview. + +[Illustration: "FOR 'ARF A PINT I'D KNOCK YOUR BLOOMIN' 'ED IN!"] + +Leander was not naturally courageous, and what he had gone through +lately had shaken his nerves. He thought that, for policemen, they +showed too strong a personal feeling; but who else could they be? He +could not remember having seen either of them before. One was a tall, +burly, heavy-jawed man; the other smaller and slighter, and apparently +the superior of the two in education and position. + +"You don't remember me, I see," said the latter; and then suddenly +changing his tone to a foreign accent, he said: "Haf you been since to +drink a glass of beer at your open-air gardens at Rosherwich?" + +Leander knew him then. It was his foreign customer of Monday evening. +His face was clean-shaven now, and his expression changed--not for the +better. + +"I think," he said, faintly, "I had the privilege of cutting your 'air +the other evening." + +"You did, my friend, and I admired your taste for the fine arts. This +gentleman and I have, on talking it over, been so struck by what I saw +that evening, that we ventured to call and inquire into it." + +"Look 'ere, Count," said his companion, "there ain't time for all that +perliteness. You leave him to me; _I'll_ talk to him! Now then, you +white-livered little airy-sneak, do you know who we are?" + +"No," said Leander; "and, excuse me calling of your attention to it, but +you're pinching my arm!" + +"I'll pinch it off before I've done," said the burly man. "Well, we're +the men that have planned and strived, and run all the risk, that you +and your gang might cut in and carry off our honest earnings. You +infernal little hair-cutting shrimp, you! To think of being beaten by +the likes of you! It's sickening, that's what it is, sickening!" + +"I don't understand you--as I live, gentlemen, I don't understand you!" +pleaded Leander. + +"You understand us well enough," said the ex-foreigner, with an awful +imprecation on all Leander's salient features; "but you shall have it +all in black and white. We're the party that invented and carried out +that little job at Wricklesmarsh Court." + +"Burglars! Do you mean you're burglars?" cried the terrified Leander. + +"We started as burglars, but we've finished by being made cat's-paws +of--by you, curse you! You didn't think we should find you out, did you? +But if you wanted to keep us in the dark, you made two awkward little +slips: one was leaving your name and address at the gardens as the party +who was supposed to have last seen the statue, and the other was keeping +the said statue standing about in your hair-cutting room, to meet the +eye of any gentleman calling out of curiosity, and never expecting such +a find as that." + +"What's the good of jawing at him, Count? That won't satisfy me, it +won't. 'Ere, I can't 'old myself off him any longer. I _must_ put a 'ed +on him." + +But the other interposed. "Patience, my good Braddle. No violence. Leave +him to me; he's a devilish deep fellow, and deserves all respect." (Here +he shook Leander like a rat.) "You've stolen a march on us, you +condemned little hairdressing ape, you! How did you do it? Out with it! +How the devil did you do it?" + +"For the love of heaven, gents," pleaded Leander, without reflecting +that he might have found a stronger inducement, "don't use violence! How +did I do _what_?" + +"Count, I _can't_ answer for myself," said the man addressed as Braddle. +"I shall send a bullet into him if you don't let me work it off with +fists; I know I shall!" + +"Keep quiet," said his superior, sternly. "Don't you see _I'm_ quiet?" +and he twisted his knuckles viciously into Leander's throat. "If you +call out you're a corpse!" + +"I wasn't thinking of calling out, indeed I wasn't. I'm quite satisfied +with being where I am," said Leander, "if you'd only leave me a little +more room to choke in, and tell me what I've done to put you both in +such tremenjous tempers." + +"Done? You cur, when yer know well enough you've taken the bread out of +our mouths--the bread we'd earned! D'ye suppose we left out that statue +in the gardens for the like of you? Who put you up to it? How many were +there in it? What do you mean to do now you've got it? Speak out, or I +swear I'll cut your heart out, and throw it over the railings for the +tom-cats; I will, you ----!" + +The man called Braddle, as he uttered this threat, looked so very +anxious to execute it, that Leander gave himself up for lost. + +"As true as I stand here, gentlemen, I didn't steal that statue." + +"I doubt you're not the build for taking the lead in that sort of +thing," said the Count; "but you were in it. You went down that Saturday +as a blind. Deny it if you dare." + +Leander did not dare. "I could not help myself, gentlemen," he faltered. + +"Who said you could? And you can't help yourself now, either; so make a +clean breast of it. Who are you standing in with? Is it Potter's lot?" + +If Leander had declared himself to be alone, things might have gone +harder with him, and they certainly would never have believed him; so he +said it _was_ Potter's lot. + +"I told you Potter was after that marble, and you wouldn't have it, +Count," growled Braddle. "Now you're satisfied." + +The Count comprised Potter and his lot in a new and original malediction +by way of answer, and then said to Leander, "Did Potter tell you to let +that Venus stand where all the world might see it?" + +"I had no discretion," said the hairdresser. "I'm not responsible, +indeed, gents." + +"No discretion! I should think you hadn't. Nor Potter either, acting the +dog in the manger like this. Where'll _he_ find his market for it, eh? +What orders have you got? When are you going to get it across?" + +"I've no notions. I haven't received no directions," said Leander. + +"A nice sort o' mug you are to be trusted with a job like this," said +Braddle. "I did think Potter was better up in his work, I did. A pretty +bungle he'll make of it!" + +"It would serve him right, for interfering with fellow-professionals in +this infernal unprincipled manner. But he shan't have the chance, +Braddle, he shan't have the chance; we'll steal a march on him this +time." + +"Is the coast clear yet?" said Braddle. + +"We must risk it. We shall find a route for it, never fear," was the +reply. "Now, you cursed hairdresser, you listen to what I'm going to +tell you. That Venus is our lawful property, and, by ----, we mean to +get her into our hands again. D'ye hear that?" + +Leander heard, and with delight. So long as he could once get free from +the presence of the statue, and out of the cross-fire of burglars and +police, he was willing by this time to abandon the cloak and ring. + +"I can truly say, I hope you'll be successful, gents," he replied. + +"We don't want your hopes, we want your help. You must round on +Potter." + +"Must I, gents?" said Leander. "Well, to oblige you, whatever it costs +me, I _will_ round on Potter." + +"Take care you stick to that," said Braddle. "The next pint, Count, is +'ow we're to get her." + +"Come in and take her away now," said Leander, eagerly. "She'll be +quiet. I--I mean the _house_'ll be quiet now. You'll be very welcome, I +assure you. _I_ won't interfere." + +"You're a bright chap to go in for a purfession like ours," said Mr. +Braddle, with intense disgust. "How do yer suppose we're to do it--take +her to pieces, eh, and bring her along in our pockets? Do you think +we're flats enough to run the chance of being seen in the streets by a +copper, lugging that 'ere statue along?" + +"We must have the light cart again, and a sack," said the Count. "It's +too late to-night." + +"And it ain't safe in the daytime," said Braddle. "We're wanted for that +job at Camberwell, that puts it on to-morrow evening. But suppose Potter +has fixed the same time." + +"Here, _you_ know. Has Potter fixed the same time?" the Count demanded +from Leander. + +"No," said Leander; "Potter ain't said nothing to me about moving her." + +"Then are you man enough to undertake Potter, if he starts the idea? +_Are_ you? Come!" + +"Yes, gents, I'll manage Potter. You break in any time after midnight, +and I engage you shall find the Venus on the premises." + +"But we want more than that of you, you know. We mustn't lose any time +over this job. You must be ready at the door to let us in, and bear a +hand with her down to the cart." + +But this did not suit Leander's views at all. He was determined to +avoid all personal risks; and to be caught helping the burglars to carry +off the Aphrodite would be fatal. + +He was recovering his presence of mind. As his tormentors had sensibly +relaxed, he was able to take steps for his own security. + +"I beg pardon, gents," he said, "but I don't want to appear in this +myself. There's Potter, you see; he's a hawful man to go against. You +know what Potter is, yourselves." (Potter was really coming in quite +usefully, he began to think.) + +"Well, I don't suppose Potter would make more bones about slitting your +throat than we should, if he knew you'd played him false," said the +Count. "But we can't help that; in a place like this it's too risky to +break in, when we can be let in." + +"If you'll only excuse me taking an active part," said Leander, "it's +all I ask. This is my plan, gentlemen. You see that little archway +there, where my finger points? Well, that leads by a small alley to a +yard, back of my saloon. You can leave your cart here, and come round as +safe as you please. I'll have the winder in my saloon unfastened, and +put the statue where you can get her easy; but I don't want to be mixed +up in it further than that." + +"That seems fair enough," said the Count, "provided you keep to it." + +"But suppose it's a plant?" growled Braddle. "Suppose he's planning to +lay a trap for us? Suppose we get in, to find Potter and his lot on the +look-out for us, or break into a house that's full of bloomin' coppers?" + +"I did think of that; but I believe our friend knows that if he doesn't +act square with me, his life isn't worth a bent pin; and besides, he +can't warn the police without getting himself into more or less hot +water. So I think he'll see the wisdom of doing what he's told." + +"I do," said Leander, "I do, gentlemen. I'd sooner die than deceive +you." + +"Well," said the Count, "you'd find it come to the same thing." + +"No," added Braddle. "If you blow the gaff on us, my bloomin', I'll saw +that pudden head of yours right off your shoulders, and swing for it, +cheerful!" + +Leander shuddered. Amongst what desperate ruffians had his unlucky stars +led him! How would it all end, he wondered feebly--how? + +"Well, gentlemen," he said, with his teeth chattering, "if you don't +want me any more, I'll go in; and I'm to expect you to-morrow evening, I +believe?" + +"Expect us when you 'ear us," said Braddle; "and if you make fools of us +again----" And he described consequences which exceeded in +unpleasantness the worst that Leander could have imagined. + +The poor man tottered back to his room again, in a most unenviable frame +of mind; not even the prospect of being delivered from the goddess could +reconcile him to the price he must pay for it. He was going to take a +plunge into downright crime now; and if his friend the inspector came to +hear of it, ruin must follow. And, in any case, the cloak and the ring +would be gone beyond recovery, while these cut-throat housebreakers +would henceforth have a hold over him; they might insist upon steeping +him in blacker crime still, and he knew he would never have the courage +to resist. + +As he thought of the new difficulties and dangers that compassed him +round about, he was frequently on the verge of tears, and his couch +that night was visited by dreadful dreams, in which he sought audience +of the Evil One himself at cross-roads, was chased over half London by +police, and dragged over the other half by burglars, to be finally +flattened by the fall of Aphrodite. + + + + +AT LAST + +IX. + + "Does not the stone rebuke me + For being more stone than it?" + + _Winter's Tale._ + + "Yet did he loath to see the image fair, + White and unchanged of face, unmoved of limb!" + + _Earthly Paradise._ + + +Leander's hand was very tremulous all the next day, as several indignant +clients discovered, and he closed as early as he could, feeling it +impossible to attend to business under the circumstances. + +About seven o'clock he went up to his sitting-room. A difficult and +ungrateful task was before him. To facilitate her removal, he must +persuade the goddess to take up a position in the saloon for the night; +and, much as he had suffered from her, there was something traitorous in +delivering her over to these coarse burglars. + +He waited until the statue showed signs of returning animation, and then +said, "Good evening, mum," more obsequiously than usual. + +She never deigned to notice or return his salutations. "Hairdresser," +she said abruptly, "I am weary of this sordid place." + +He was pleased, for it furthered his views. "It isn't so sordid in the +saloon, where you stood the other evening, you know," he replied. "Will +you step down there?" + +"Bah!" she said, "it is _all_ sordid. Leander, a restlessness has come +upon me. I come back night after night out of the vagueness in which I +have lain so long, and for what? To stand here in this mean chamber and +proffer my favour, only to find it repulsed, disdained. I am tired of +it--tired!" + +"You can't be more tired of it than I am!" he said. + +"I ask myself," she went on, "why, having, through your means, ascended +once more to the earth, which I left so fair, I seek not those things +which once delighted me. This city of yours--all that I have seen of +it--revolts me; but it is vast, vaster than those built by the mortals +of old. Surely somewhere there must be brightness in it and beauty, and +the colour and harmony by which men knew once to delight the gods +themselves. It cannot be that the gods of old are all forgotten; surely, +somewhere there yet lingers a little band of faithful ones, who have not +turned from Aphrodite." + +"I can't say, I'm sure," said Leander; "I could inquire for you." + +"I myself will seek for them," she said proudly. "I will go forth this +very night." + +Leander choked. "To-night!" he cried. "You _can't_ go to-night." + +"You forget yourself," she returned haughtily. + +"If I let you go," he said hesitatingly, "will you promise faithfully to +be back in half an hour?" + +"Do you not yet understand that you have to do with a goddess--with +Aphrodite herself?" she said. "Who are you, to presume to fetter me by +your restrictions? Truly, the indulgence I have shown has turned your +weak brain." + +He put his back against the door. He was afraid of the goddess, but he +was still more afraid of the burglars' vengeance if they arrived to find +the prize missing. + +"I'm sorry to disoblige a lady," he said; "but you don't go out of this +house to-night." + +In another minute he was lying in the fender amongst the +fireirons--alone! How it was done he was too stunned to remember; but +the goddess was gone. If she did not return by midnight, what would +become of him? If he had only been civil to her, she might have stayed; +but now she had abandoned him to certain destruction! + +A kind of fatalistic stupor seized him. He would not run away--he would +have to come home some time--nor would he call in the police, for he had +a very vivid recollection of Mr. Braddle's threat in such a contingency. + +He went, instead, into the dark saloon, and sat down in a chair to wait. +He wondered how he could explain the statue's absence. If he told the +burglars it had gone for a stroll, they would tear him limb from limb. +"I was so confoundedly artful about Potter," he thought bitterly, "that +they'll never believe now I haven't warned him!" + +At every sound outside he shook like a leaf; the quarters, as they +sounded from the church clock, sank like cold weights upon his heart. +"If only Venus would come back first!" he moaned; but the statue never +returned. + +At last he heard steps--muffled ones--on the paved alley outside. He had +forgotten to leave the window unfastened, after all, and he was too +paralysed to do it now. + +The steps were in the little yard, or rather a sort of back area, +underneath the window. "It may be only a constable," he tried to say to +himself; but there is no mistaking the constabulary tread, which is not +fairy-like, or even gentle, like that he heard. + +A low whistle destroyed his last hope. In a quite unpremeditated manner +he put out the gas and rolled under a leather divan which stood at the +end of the room. He wished now, with all his heart, that he had run away +while he had the chance; but it was too late. + +"I hope they'll do it with a revolver, and not a knife," he thought. +"Oh, my poor Matilda! you little know what I'm going through just now, +and what'll be going through _me_ in another minute!" + +A hoarse voice under the window called out, "Tweddle!" + +He lay still. "None o' that, yer skulker; I know yer there!" said the +voice again. "Do yer want to give me the job o' coming after yer?" + +After all, Leander reflected, there was the window and a thick +half-shutter between them. It might be best not to provoke Mr. Braddle +at the outset. He came half out of his hiding-place. "Is that you, Mr. +Braddle?" he quavered. + +"Ah!" said the voice, affirmatively. "Is this what you call being ready +for us? Why, the bloomin' winder ain't even undone!" + +"That's what I'm here for," said poor Leander. "Is the--the other +gentleman out there too?" + +"You mind your business! You'll find something the Count give me to +bring yer; I've put it on the winder-sill out 'ere. And you obey horders +next time, will yer?" + +The footsteps were heard retreating. Mr. Braddle was apparently going +back to fetch his captain. Leander let down the shutter, and opened the +window. He could not see, but he could feel a thick, rough bundle lying +on the window-sill. + +He drew this in, slammed down the window, and ran up the shutter in a +second, before the two could have had time to discover him. + +"Now," he thought, "I _will_ run for it;" and he groped his way out of +the dark saloon to the front shop, where he paused, and, taking a match +from his pocket, struck a light. His parcel proved to be rough +sackcloth, on the outside of which a paper was pinned. + +Why did the Count write, when he was coming in directly? Curiosity made +him linger even then to ascertain this. The paper contained a hasty +scrawl in blue chalk. "_Not to-night_," he read; "_arrangements still +uncomplete. Expect us to-morrow night without fail, and see that +everything is prepared. Cloth sent with this for packing goods. P---- +laid up with professional accident, and safe for a week or two. You must +have known this--why not say so last night? No trifling, if you value +life!_" + +It was a reprieve--at the last moment! He had a whole day before him for +flight, and he fully intended to flee this time; those hours of suspense +in the saloon were too terrible to be gone through twice. + +But as he was turning out his cashbox, and about to go upstairs and +collect a few necessaries, he heard a well-known tread outside. He ran +to the door, which he unfastened with trembling hands, and the statue, +with the hood drawn closely round her strange painted face, passed in +without seeming to heed his presence. + +She had come back to him. Why should he run away now, when, if he waited +one more night, he might be rescued from one of his terrors by means of +the other? + +"Lady Venus!" he cried hysterically. "Oh, Lady Venus, mum, I thought you +was gone for ever!" + +"And you have grieved?" she said almost tenderly. "You welcome my return +with joy! Know then, Leander, that I myself feel pleasure in returning, +even to such a roof as this; for little gladness have I had from my +wanderings. Upon no altar did I see my name shine, nor the perfumed +flame flicker; the Lydian measures were silent, and the praise of +Cytherea. And everywhere I went I found the same senseless troubled +haste, and pale mean faces of men, and squalor, and tumult. Grace and +joyousness have fled--even from your revelry! But I have seen your new +gods, and understand: for, all grimy and mis-shapen and uncouth are they +as they stand in your open places and at the corners of your streets. +Zeus, what a place must Olympus now be! And can any men worship such +monsters, and be gladsome?" + +Leander did not perceive the very natural mistake into which the goddess +had fallen; but the fact was, that she had come upon some of our justly +renowned public statues. + +"I'm sorry you haven't enjoyed yourself, mum," was all he could find to +say. + +"Should I linger in such scenes were it not for you?" she cried +reproachfully. "How much longer will you repulse me?" + +"That depends on you, mum," he ventured to observe. + +"Ah! you are cold!" she said reproachfully; "yet surely I am worthy of +the adoration of the proudest mortal. Judge me not by this marble +exterior, cunningly wrought though it be. Charms are mine, more dazzling +than any your imagination can picture; and could you surrender your +being to my hands, I should be able to show myself as I really +am--supreme in loveliness and majesty!" + +Unfortunately, the hairdresser's imagination was not his strongest +point. He could not dissociate the goddess from the marble shape she had +assumed, and that shape he was not sufficiently educated to admire; he +merely coughed now in a deferential manner. + +"I perceive that I cannot move you," she said. "Men have grown strangely +stubborn and impervious. I leave you, then, to your obstinacy; only take +heed lest you provoke me at last to wrath, for my patience is well-nigh +at an end!" + +And she was gone, and the bedizened statue stood there, staring hardly +at him with the eyes his own hand had given her. + +"This has been the most trying evening I've had yet," he thought. "Thank +my stars, if all goes well, I shall get rid of her by this time +to-morrow!" + +The next day passed uneventfully enough, though the unfortunate +Leander's apprehensions increased with every hour. As before, he closed +early, got his apprentice safely off the premises, and sat down to wait +in his saloon. He knew that the statue (which he had concealed during +the day behind a convenient curtain) would probably recover +consciousness for some part of the evening, as it had rarely failed to +do, and prudence urged him to keep an eye over the proceedings of his +tormentress. + +To his horror, Aphrodite's first words, after awaking, expressed her +intention of repeating the search for homage and beauty, which had been +so unsuccessful the night before! + +"Seek not to detain me, Leander," she said; "for, goddess as I am, I am +drooping under this persistent obduracy. Somewhere beyond this murky +labyrinth, it may be that I shall find a shrine where I am yet +honoured. I will go forth, and never rest till I have found it, and my +troubled spirits are revived by the incense for which I have languished +so long. I am weary of abasing myself to such a contemptuous mortal, nor +will I longer endure such indignity. Stand back, and open the gates for +me! Why do you not obey?" + +He knew now that to attempt force would be useless; and yet if she left +him this time, he must either abandon all that life held for him, and +fly to distant parts from the burglars' vengeance--or remain to meet a +too probable doom! + +He fell on his knees before her. "Oh, Lady Venus," he entreated, "don't +leave me! I beg and implore you not to! If you do, you will kill me! I +give you my honest word you will!" + +The statue's face seemed irradiated by a sudden joy. She paused, and +glanced down with an approving smile upon the kneeling figure at her +feet. + +"Why did you not kneel to me before?" she said. + +[Illustration: "WHY DID YOU NOT KNEEL TO ME BEFORE?"] + +"Because I never thought of it," said the hairdresser, honestly; "but +I'll stay on my knees for hours, if only you won't go!" + +"But what has made you thus eager, thus humble?" she said, half in +wonder and half in suspicion. "Can it be, that the spark I have sought +to kindle in your breast is growing to a flame at last? Leander, can +this thing be?" + +He saw that she was gratified, that she desired to be assured that this +was indeed so. + +"I shouldn't be surprised if something like that was going on inside of +me," he said encouragingly. + +"Answer me more frankly," she said. "Do you wish me to remain with +you because you have learnt to love my presence?" + +It was a very embarrassing position for him. All depended upon his +convincing the goddess of his dawning love, and yet, for the life of +him, he could not force out the requisite tenderness; his imagination +was unequal to the task. + +Another and a more creditable feeling helped to tie his tongue--a sense +of shame at employing such a subterfuge in order to betray the goddess +into the lawless hands of these housebreakers. However, she must be +induced to stay by some means. + +"Well," he said sheepishly, "you don't give me a chance to love you, if +you go wandering out every evening, do you?" + +She gave a low cry of triumph. "It has come!" she exclaimed. "What are +clouds of incense, flowers, and homage, to this? Be of good heart; I +will stay, Leander. Fear not, but speak the passion which consumes you!" + +He became alarmed. He was anxious not to commit himself, and yet employ +the time until the burglars might be expected. + +"The fact is," he confessed, "it hasn't gone so far as that yet--it's +beginning; all it wants is _time_, you know--time, and being let alone." + +"All Time will be before us, when once your lips have pronounced the +words of surrender, and our spirits are transported together to the +enchanted isle." + +"You talk about me going over to this isle--this Cyprus," he said; "but +it's a long journey, and I can't afford it. How _you_ come and go, I +don't know; but I've not been brought up to it myself. I can't flash +across like a telegram!" + +"Trust all to me," she said. "Is not your love strong enough for that?" + +"Not quite yet," he answered; "it's coming on. Only, you see, it's a +serious step to take, and I naturally wish to feel my way. I declare, +the more I gaze upon the--the elegant form and figger which I see before +me, the stronger and the more irresistible comes over me a burning +desire to think the whole thing carefully over. And if you only allowed +me a little longer to gaze (I've no time to myself except in the +evenings), I don't think it would be long before this affair reached a +'appy termination--I don't indeed!" + +"Gaze, then," she said, smiling--"gaze to your soul's content." + +"I mean no offence," he represented, having felt his way to a stroke of +supreme cunning, "but when I feel there's a goddess inside of this +statue, I don't know how it is exactly, but it puts me off. I can't fix +my thoughts; the--the passion don't ferment as it ought. If, supposing +now, you was to withdraw yourself and leave me the statue? I could gaze +on it, and think of thee, and Cyprus, and all the rest of it, more +comfortable, so to speak, than what I can when you're animating of it, +and making me that nervous, words can't describe it!" + +He hardly dared to hope that so lame and transparent a device would +succeed with her; but, as he had previously found, there was a certain +spice of credulity and simplicity in her nature, which made it possible +to impose upon her occasionally. + +"It may be so," she said. "I overawe thee, perchance?" + +"Very much so," said he, promptly. "You don't intend it, I know; but +it's a fact." + +"I will leave you to meditate upon the charms so faintly shadowed in +this image, remembering that whatever of loveliness you find herein will +be multiplied ten thousand-fold in the actual Aphrodite! Remain, then; +ponder and gaze--and love!" + +He waited for a little while after the statue was silent, and then took +up the sacking left for him by Braddle; twice he attempted to throw it +over the marble, and twice he recoiled. "It's no use," he said, "I can't +do it; they must do it themselves!" + +He carefully unfastened the window at the back of his saloon, and, +placing the statue in the centre of the floor, turned out the gas, and +with a beating heart stole upstairs to his bedroom, where (with his door +bolted) he waited anxiously for the arrival of his dreaded deliverers. + +He scarcely knew how long he had been there, for a kind of waking dream +had come upon him, in which he was providing the statue with light +refreshment in the shape of fancy pebbles and liquid cement, when the +long, low whistle, faintly heard from the back of the house, brought him +back to his full senses. + +The burglars had come! He unbolted the door and stole out to the top of +the crazy staircase, intending to rush back and bolt himself in if he +heard steps ascending; and for some minutes he strained his ears, +without being able to catch a sound. + +At last he heard the muffled creak of the window, as it was thrown up. +They were coming in! Would they, or would they not, be inhuman enough to +force him to assist them in the removal? + +They were still in the saloon; he heard them trampling about, moving the +furniture with unnecessary violence, and addressing one another in tones +that were not caressing. Now they were carrying the statue to the +window; he heard their labouring breath and groans of exertion under the +burden. + +Another pause. He stole lower down the staircase, until he was outside +his sitting-room, and could hear better. There! that was the thud as +they leapt out on the flagged yard. A second and heavier thud--the +goddess! How would they get her over the wall? Had they brought steps, +ropes, or what? No matter; they knew their own business, and were not +likely to have forgotten anything. But how long they were about it! +Suppose a constable were to come by and see the cart! + +There were sounds at last; they were scaling the wall--floundering, +apparently; and no wonder, with such a weight to hoist after them! More +thuds; and then the steps of men staggering slowly, painfully away. The +steps echoed louder from under the archway, and then died away in +silence. + +Could they be really gone? He dared not hope so, and remained shivering +in his sitting-room for some minutes; until, gaining courage, he +determined to go down and shut the window, to avoid any suspicion. +Although now that the burglars were safely off with their prize, even +their capture could not implicate him. He rather hoped they _would_ be +caught! + +He took a lighted candle, and descended. As he entered the saloon, a +gust from the open window blew out the light. He stood there in the dark +and an icy draught; and, beginning to grope about in the dark for the +matches, he brushed against something which was soft and had a +cloth-like texture. "It's Braddle!" he thought, and his blood ran cold; +"or else the Count!" And he called them both respectfully. There was no +reply; no sound of breathing, even. + +Ha! here was a box of matches at last! He struck a light in feverish +haste, and lit the nearest gas-bracket. For an instant he could see +nothing, in the sudden glare; but the next moment he fell back against +the wall with a cry of horror and despair. + +For there, in the centre of the disordered room, stood--not the Count, +not Braddle--but the statue, the mantle thrown back from her arms, and +those arms, and the folds of the marble drapery, spotted here and there +with stains of dark crimson! + + + + +DAMOCLES DINES OUT + +X. + + "To feed were best at home."--_Macbeth._ + + +As soon as Leander had recovered from the first shock of horror and +disappointment, he set himself to efface the stains with which the +statue and the oilcloth were liberally bespattered; he was burning to +find out what had happened to make such desperadoes abandon their design +at the point of completion. + +They both seemed to have bled freely. Had they quarrelled, or what? He +went out into the yard with a hand-lamp, trembling lest he should come +upon one or more corpses; but the place was bare, and he then remembered +having heard them stumble and flounder over the wall. + +He came back in utter bewilderment; the statue, standing calm and +lifeless as he had himself placed it, could tell him nothing, and he +went back to his bedroom full of the vaguest fears. + +The next day was a Saturday, and he passed it in the state of continual +apprehension which was becoming his normal condition. He expected every +moment to see or hear from the baffled ruffians, who would, no doubt, +consider him responsible for their failure; but no word nor sign came +from them, and the uncertainty drove him very near distraction. + +As the night approached, he almost welcomed it, as a time when the +goddess herself would enlighten part of his ignorance; and he waited +more impatiently than ever for her return. + +He was made to wait long that evening, until he almost began to think +that the marble was deserted altogether; but at length, as he watched, +the statue gave a long, shuddering sigh, and seemed to gaze round the +saloon with vacant eyes. + +"Where am I?" she murmured. "Ah! I remember. Leander, while you +slumbered, impious hands were laid upon this image!" + +"Dear me, mum; you don't say so!" exclaimed Leander. + +"It is the truth! From afar I felt the indignity that was purposed, and +hastened to protect my image, to find it in the coarse grasp of godless +outlaws. Leander, they were about to drag me away by force--away from +thee!" + +"I'm very sorry you should have been disturbed," said Leander; and he +certainly was. "So you came back and caught them at it, did you? And +wh--what did you do to 'em, if I may inquire?" + +"I know not," she said simply. "I caused them to be filled with mad +fury, and they fell upon one another blindly, and fought like wild +beasts around my image until strength failed them, and they sank to the +ground; and when they were able, they fled from my presence, and I saw +them no more." + +"You--you didn't kill them outright, then?" said Leander, not feeling +quite sure whether he would be glad or not to hear that they had +forfeited their lives. + +"They were unworthy of such a death," she said; "so I let them crawl +away. Henceforth they will respect our images." + +"I should say they would, most likely, madam," agreed Leander. "I do +assure you, I'm almost glad of it myself--I am; it served them both +right." + +"_Almost_ glad! And do you not rejoice from your heart that I yet remain +to you?" + +"Why," said Leander, "it is, in course, a most satisfactory and +agreeable termination, I'm sure." + +"Who knows whether, if this my image had once been removed from you, I +could have found it in my power to return?" she said; "for, I ween, the +power that is left me has limits. I might never have appeared to you +again. Think of it, Leander." + +"I was thinking of it," he replied. "It quite upsets me to think how +near it was." + +"You are moved. You love me well, do you not, Leander?" + +"Oh! I suppose I do," he said--"well enough." + +"Well enough to abandon this gross existence, and fly with me where none +can separate us?" + +"I never said nothing about that," he answered. + +"But yesternight and you confessed that you were yielding--that ere long +I should prevail." + +"So I am," he said; "but it will take me some time to yield thoroughly. +You wouldn't believe how slow I yield; why, I haven't hardly begun yet!" + +"And how long a time will pass before you are fully prepared?" + +"I'm afraid I can't say, not exactly; it may be a month, or it might +only be a week, or again, it may be a year. I'm so dependent upon the +weather. So, if you're in any kind of a hurry, I couldn't advise you, as +a honest man, to wait for me." + +"I will not wait a year!" she said fiercely. "You mock me with such +words. I tell you again that my forbearance will last but little +longer. More of this laggard love, and I will shame you before your +fellow-men as an ingrate and a dastard! I will; by my zone, I will!" + +"Now, mum, you're allowing yourself to get excited," said Leander, +soothingly. "I wouldn't talk about it no more this evening; we shall do +no good. I can't arrange to go with you just yet, and there's an end of +it." + +"You will find that that is not the end of it, clod-witted slave that +you are!" + +"Now, don't call names; it's beneath you." + +"Ay, indeed! for are not _you_ beneath me? But for very shame I will not +abandon what is justly mine; nor shall you, wily and persuasive +hairdresser though you be, withstand my sovereign will with impunity!" + +"So you say, mum!" said Leander, with a touch of his native +impertinence. + +"As I say, I shall act; but no more of this, or you will anger me before +the time. Let me depart." + +"I'm not hindering you," he said; but she did not remain long enough to +resent his words. He sat down with a groan. "Whatever will become of +me?" he soliloquized dismally. "She gets more pressing every evening, +and she's been taking to threatening dreadful of late.... If the Count +and that Braddle ever come back now, it won't be to take her off my +hands; it'll more likely be to have my life for letting them into such a +trap. They'll think it was some trick of mine, I shouldn't wonder.... +And to-morrow's Sunday, and I've got to dine with aunt, and meet Matilda +and her ma. A pretty state of mind I'm in for going out to dinner, after +the awful week I've had of it! But there'll be some comfort in seeing my +darling Tillie again; _she_ ain't a statue, bless her!" + +"As for you, mum," he said to the unconscious statue, "I'm going to lock +you up in your old quarters, where you can't get out and do mischief. I +do think I'm entitled to have my Sunday quiet." + +After which he contrived to toil upstairs with the image, not without +considerable labour and frequent halts to recover his breath; for +although, as we have already noted, the marble, after being infused with +life, seemed to lose something of its normal weight, it was no light +burden, even then, to be undertaken single-handed. + +He slept long and late that Sunday morning; for he had been too +preoccupied for the last few days to make any arrangements for attending +chapel with his Matilda, and he was in sore need of repose besides. So +he rose just in time to swallow his coffee and array himself carefully +for his aunt's early dinner, leaving his two Sunday papers--the +theatrical and the general organs--unread on his table. + +It was a foggy, dull day, and Millman Street, never a cheerful +thoroughfare, looked gloomier than ever as he turned into it. But one of +those dingy fronts held Matilda--a circumstance which irradiated the +entire district for him. + +He had scarcely time to knock before the door was opened by Matilda in +person. She looked more charming than ever, in a neat dark dress, with a +little white collar and cuffs. Her hair was arranged in a new fashion, +being banded by a neat braided tress across the crown; and her grey +eyes, usually serene and cold, were bright and eager. + +The hairdresser felt his heart swell with love at the sight of her. What +a lucky man he was, after all, to have such a girl as this to care for +him! If he could keep her--ah, if he could only keep her! + +"I told your aunt _I_ was going to open the door to you," she said. "I +wanted----Oh, Leander, you've not brought it, after all!" + +"Meaning what, Tillie, my darling?" said Leander. + +"Oh, you know--my cloak!" + +He had had so much to think about that he had really forgotten the cloak +of late. + +"Well, no, I've not brought that--not the cloak, Tillie," he said +slowly. + +"What a time they are about it!" complained Matilda. + +"You see," explained the poor man, "when a cloak like that is damaged, +it has to be sent back to the manufacturers to be done, and they've so +many things on their hands. I couldn't promise that you'll have that +cloak--well, not this side of Christmas, at least." + +"You must have been very rough with it, then, Leander," she remarked. + +"I was," he said. "I don't know how I came to _be_ so rough. You see, I +was trying to tear it off----" But here he stopped. + +"Trying to tear it off what?" + +"Trying to tear it off nothink, but trying to tear the wrapper off _it_. +It was so involved," he added, "with string and paper and that; and I'm +a clumsy, unlucky sort of chap, sweet one; and I'm uncommon sorry about +it, that I am!" + +"Well, we won't say any more about it," said Matilda, softened by his +contrition. "And I'm keeping you out in the passage all this time. Come +in, and be introduced to mamma; she's in the front parlour, waiting to +make your acquaintance." + +Mrs. Collum was a stout lady, with a thin voice. She struck a nameless +fear into Leander's soul as he was led up to where she sat. He +thought that she contained all the promise of a very terrible +mother-in-law. + +[Illustration: SHE STRUCK A NAMELESS FEAR INTO LEANDER'S SOUL.] + +"This is Leander, mamma dear," said Matilda, shyly and yet proudly. + +Her mother inspected him for a moment, and then half closed her eyes. +"My daughter tells me that you carry on the occupation of a +hairdresser," she said. + +"Quite correct, madam," said Leander; "I do." + +"Ah! well," she said, with an unconcealed sigh, "I could have wished to +look higher than hairdressing for my Matilda; but there are +opportunities of doing good even as a hairdresser. I trust you are +sensible of that." + +"I try to do as little 'arm as I can," he said feebly. + +"If you do not do good, you must do harm," she said uncompromisingly. +"You have it in your means to be an awakening influence. No one knows +the power that a single serious hairdresser might effect with worldly +customers. Have you never thought of that?" + +"Well, I can't say I have exactly," he said; "and I don't see how." + +"There are cheap and appropriate illuminated texts," she said, "to be +had at so much a dozen; you could hang them on your walls. There are +tracts you procure by the hundred; you could put them in the lining of +hats as you hang them up; you could wrap them round your--your bottles +and pomatum-pots. You could drop a word in season in your customer's ear +as you bent over him. And you tell me you don't see how; you _will_ not +see, I fear, Mr. Tweddle." + +"I'm afraid, mum," he replied, "my customers would consider I was taking +liberties." + +"And what of that, so long as you save them?" + +"Well, you see, I shouldn't--I should _lose_ 'em! And it's not done in +our profession; and, to tell you the honest truth, I'm not given that +way myself--not to the extent of tracks and suchlike, that is." + +Matilda's mother groaned; it was hard to find a son-in-law with whom she +had nothing in common, and who was a hairdresser into the bargain. + +"Well, well," she said, "we must expect crosses in this life; though for +my own daughter to lay this one upon me is--is----But I will not +repine." + +"I'm sorry you regard me in the light of a cross," said Leander; "but, +whether I'm a cross or a naught, I'm a respectable man, and I love your +daughter, mum, and I'm in a position to maintain her." + +Leander hated to have to appear under false pretences, of which he had +had more than enough of late. He was glad now to speak out plainly, +particularly as he had no reason to fear this old woman. + +"Hush, Leander! Mamma didn't mean to be unkind; did you, mamma?" said +Matilda. + +"I said what I felt," she said. "We will not discuss it further. If, in +time, I see reason for bestowing my blessing upon a choice which at +present----But no matter. If I see reason in time, I will not withhold +it. I can hardly be expected to approve at present." + +"You shall take your own time, mum; _I_ won't hurry you," said Leander. +"Tillie is blessing enough for me--not but what I shall be glad to be on +a pleasant footing with you, I'm sure, if you can bring yourself to it." + +Before Mrs. Collum could reply, Miss Louisa Tweddle made an opportune +appearance, to the relief of Matilda, in whom her mother's attitude was +causing some uneasiness. + +Miss Tweddle was a well-preserved little woman, with short curly +iron-grey hair and sharp features. In manner she was brisk, not to say +chirpy, but she secreted sentiment in large quantities. She was very far +from the traditional landlady, and where she lost lodgers occasionally +she retained friends. She regarded Mrs. Collum with something like +reverence, as an acquaintance of her youth who had always occupied a +superior social position, and she was proud, though somewhat guiltily +so, that her favourite nephew should have succeeded in captivating the +daughter of a dentist. + +She kissed Leander on both cheeks. "He's done the best of all my +nephews, Mrs. Collum, ma'am," she explained, "and he's never caused me a +moment's anxiety since I first had the care of him, when he was first +apprenticed to Catchpole's in Holborn, and paid me for his board." + +"Well, well," said Mrs. Collum, "I hope he never may cause anxiety to +you, or to any one." + +"I'll answer for it, he won't," said his aunt. "I wish you could see him +dress a head of hair." + +Mrs. Collum shut her eyes again. "If at his age he has not acquired the +necessary skill for his line in life," she observed, "it would be a very +melancholy thing to reflect upon." + +"Yes, wouldn't it?" agreed Miss Tweddle; "you say very truly, Mrs. +Collum. But he's got ideas and notions beyond what you'd expect in a +hairdresser--haven't you, Leandy? Tell Miss Collum's dear ma about the +new machines you've invented for altering people's hands and eyes and +features." + +"I don't care to be told," the lady struck in. "To my mind, it's nothing +less than sheer impiety to go improving the features we've been endowed +with. We ought to be content as we are, and be thankful we've been sent +into the world with any features at all. Those are my opinions!" + +"Ah," said the politic Leander, "but some people are saved having resort +to Art for improvement, and we oughtn't to blame them as are less +favoured for trying to render themselves more agreeable as spectacles, +ought we?" + +"And if every one thought with you," added his aunt, with distinctly +inferior tact, "where would your poor dear 'usband have been, Mrs. +Collum, ma'am?" + +"My dear husband was not on the same level--he was a medical man; and, +besides, though he replaced Nature in one of her departments, he had too +much principle to _imitate_ her. Had he been (or had I allowed him to +be) less conscientious, his practice would have been largely extended; +but I can truthfully declare that not a single one of his false teeth +was capable of deceiving for an instant. I hope," she added to Leander, +"you, in your own different way, are as scrupulous." + +"Why, the fact is," said Leander, whose professional susceptibilities +were now aroused, "I am essentially an artist. When I look around, I see +that Nature out of its bounty has supplied me with a choice selection of +patterns to follow, and I reproduce them as faithful as lies within my +abilities. You may call it a fine thing to take a blank canvas, and +represent the luxurious tresses and the blooming hue of 'ealth upon it, +and so do I; but I call it a still higher and nobler act to produce a +similar effect upon a human 'ed!" + +"Isn't that a pretty speech for a young man like him--only +twenty-seven--Mrs. Collum?" exclaimed his admiring aunt. + +"You see, mamma dear," pleaded Matilda, who saw that her parent remained +unaffected, "it isn't as if Leander was in poor papa's profession." + +"I hope, Matilda," said the lady sharply, "you are not going to pain me +again by mentioning this young man and your departed father in the same +breath, because I cannot bear it." + +"The old lady," reflected Leander here, "don't seem to take to me!" + +"I'm sure," said Miss Tweddle, "Leandy quite feels what an honour it is +to him to look forward to such a connection as yours is. When I first +heard of it, I said at once, 'Leandy, you can't never mean it; she won't +look at you; it's no use your asking her,' I said. And I quite scolded +myself for ever bringing them together!" + +Mrs. Collum seemed inclined to follow suit, but she restrained herself. +"Ah! well," she observed, "my daughter has chosen to take her own way, +without consulting my prejudices. All I hope is, that she may never +repent it!" + +"Very handsomely said, ma'am," chimed in Miss Tweddle; "and, if I know +my nephew, repent it she never will!" + +Leander was looking rather miserable; but Matilda put out her hand to +him behind his aunt's back, and their eyes and hands met, and he was +happy again. + +"You must be wanting your dinner, Mrs. Collum," his aunt proceeded; "and +we are only waiting for another lady and gentleman to make up the party. +I don't know what's made them so behindhand, I'm sure. He's a very +pleasant young man, and punctual to the second when he lodged with me. I +happened to run across him up by Chancery Lane the other evening, and he +said to me, in his funny way, 'I've been and gone and done it, Miss +Tweddle, since I saw you. I'm a happy man; and I'm thinking of bringing +my young lady soon to introduce to you.' So I asked them to come and +take a bit of dinner with me to-day, and I told him two o'clock sharp, +I'm sure. Ah, there they are at last! That's Mr. Jauncy's knock, among a +thousand." + +Leander started. "Aunt!" he cried, "you haven't asked Jauncy here +to-day?" + +"Yes, I did, Leandy. I knew you used to be friends when you were +together here, and I thought how nice it would be for both your young +ladies to make each other's acquaintance; but I didn't tell _him_ +anything. I meant it for a surprise." + +And she bustled out to receive her guests, leaving Leander speechless. +What if the new-comers were to make some incautious reference to that +pleasure-party on Saturday week? Could he drop them a warning hint? + +"Don't you like this Mr. Jauncy, Leander?" whispered Matilda, who had +observed his ghastly expression. + +"I like him well enough," he returned, with an effort; "but I'd rather +we had no third parties, I must say." + +Here Mr. Jauncy came in alone, Miss Tweddle having retired to assist the +lady to take off her bonnet. + +Leander went to meet him. "James," he said in an agitated whisper, "have +you brought Bella?" + +Jauncy nodded. "We were talking of you as we came along," he said in the +same tone, "and I advise you to look out--she's got her quills up, old +chap!" + +"What about?" murmured Leander. + +Mr. Jauncy's grin was wider and more appreciative than ever as he +replied, mysteriously, "Rosherwich!" + +Leander would have liked to ask in what respect Miss Parkinson +considered herself injured by the expedition to Rosherwich; but, before +he could do so, his aunt returned with the young lady in question. + +Bella was gorgeously dressed, and made her entrance with the stiffest +possible dignity. "Miss Parkinson, my dear," said her hostess, "you +mustn't be made a stranger of. That lady sitting there on the sofa is +Mrs. Collum, and this gentleman is a friend of _your_ gentleman's, and +my nephew, Leandy." + +"Oh, thank you," said Bella, "but I've no occasion to be told Mr. +Tweddle's name; we have met before--haven't we, Mr. Tweddle?" + +He looked at her, and saw her brows clouded, and her nose and mouth with +a pinched look about them. She was annoyed with him evidently--but why? + +"We have," was all he could reply. + +"Why, how nice that is, to be sure!" exclaimed his aunt. "I might have +thought of it, too, Mr. Jauncy, and you being such friends and all. And +p'r'aps you know this lady, too--Miss Collum--as Leandy is keeping +company along with?" + +Bella's expression changed to something blacker still. "No," she said, +fixing her eyes on the still unconscious Leander; "I made sure that Mr. +Tweddle was courting _a_ young lady, but--but--well, this _is_ a +surprise, Mr. Tweddle! You never told us of this when last we met. I +shall have news for somebody!" + +"Oh, but it's only been arranged within the last month or two!" said +Miss Tweddle. + +"Considering we met so lately, he might have done us the compliment of +mentioning it, I must say!" said Bella. + +"I--I thought you knew," stammered the hairdresser; "I told----" + +"No, you didn't, excuse me; oh no, you didn't, or some things would have +happened differently. It was the place and all that made you forget it, +very likely." + +"When did you meet one another, and where was it, Miss Parkinson?" +inquired Matilda, rather to include herself in the conversation than +from any devouring curiosity. + +Leander struck in hoarsely. "We met," he explained, "some time since, +quite casual." + +Bella's eyes lit up with triumphant malice. "What!" she said, "do you +call yesterday week such a long while? What a compliment that is, +though! And so he's not even mentioned it to you, Miss Collum? Dear me, +I wonder what reasons he had for that, now!" + +"There's nothing to wonder at," said Leander; "my memory does play me +tricks of that sort." + +"Ah, if it was only you it played tricks on! There's Miss Collum dying +to know what it's all about, I can see." + +"Indeed, Miss Parkinson, I'm nothing of the sort," retorted Matilda, +proudly. Privately her reflection was: "She's got a lovely gown on, but +she's a common girl, for all that; and she's trying to set me against +Leander for some reason, and she shan't do it." + +"Well," said Bella, "you're a fortunate man, Mr. Tweddle, that you are, +in every way. I'm afraid I shouldn't be so easy with my James." + +"There's no need for being afraid about it," her James put in; "you +aren't!" + +"I hope you haven't as much cause, though," she retorted. + +Leander listened to her malicious innuendo with a bewildered agony. Why +on earth was she making this dead set at him? She was amiable enough on +Saturday week. It never occurred to him that his conduct to her sister +could account for it, for had he not told Ada straightforwardly how he +was situated? + +Fortunately dinner was announced to be ready just then, and Bella was +silenced for the moment in the general movement to the next room. + +Leander took in Matilda's mamma, who had been studiously abstracting +herself from all surrounding objects for the last few minutes. "That +Bella is a downright basilisk," he thought dismally, as he led the way. +"Lord, how I do wish dinner was done!" + + + + +DENOUNCED + +XI. + + "There's a new foot on the floor, my friend; + And a new face at the door, my friend; + A new face at the door." + + +Leander sat at the head of the table as carver, having Mrs. Collum and +Bella on his left, and James and Matilda opposite to them. + +James was the first to open conversation, by the remark to Mrs. Collum, +across the table, that they were "having another dull Sunday." + +"That," rejoined the uncompromising lady, "seems to me a highly improper +remark, sir." + +"My friend Jauncy," explained Leander, in defence of his abashed +companion, "was not alluding to present company, I'm sure. He meant the +dulness _outside_--the fog, and so on." + +"I knew it," she said; "and I repeat that it is improper and irreverent +to speak of a dull Sunday in that tone of complaint. Haven't we all the +week to be lively in?" + +"And I'm sure, ma'am," said Jauncy, recovering himself, "you make the +most of your time. Talking of fog, Tweddle, did you see those lines on +it in to-day's _Umpire_? Very smart, I call them; regular witty." + +"And do you both read a paper on Sunday mornings with 'smart' and +'witty' lines in it?" demanded Mrs. Collum. + +"I--I hadn't time this morning," said the unregenerate Leander; "but I +do occasionally cast an eye over it before I get up." + +Mrs. Collum groaned, and looked at her daughter reproachfully. + +"I see by the _Weekly News_," said Jauncy, "you've had a burglary in +your neighbourhood." + +Leander let the carving-knife slip. "A burglary! What! in my +neighbourhood? When?" + +"Well, p'r'aps not a burglary; but a capture of two that were 'wanted' +for it. It's all in to-day's _News_." + +"I--I haven't seen a paper for the last two days," said Leander, his +heart beating with hope. "Tell us about it!" + +"Why, it isn't much to tell; but it seems that last Friday night, or +early on Saturday morning, the constable on duty came upon two +suspicious-looking chaps, propped up insensible against the railings in +Queen Square, covered with blood, and unable to account for themselves. +Whether they'd been trying to break in somewhere and been beaten off, or +had quarrelled, or met with some accident, doesn't seem to be known for +certain. But, anyway, they were arrested for loitering at night with +housebreaking things about them; and, when they were got to the station, +recognized as the men 'wanted' for shooting a policeman down at +Camberwell some time back, and if it is proved against them they'll be +hung, for certain." + +"What were they called? Did it say?" asked Leander, eagerly. + +"I forget one--something like Bradawl, I believe; the other had a lot of +aliases, but he was best known as the 'Count,' from having lived a good +deal abroad, and speaking broken English like a native." + +Leander's spirits rose, in spite of his present anxieties. He had been +going in fear and dread of the revenge of these ruffians, and they were +safely locked up; they could trouble him no more. Small wonder, then, +that his security in this respect made him better able to cope with +minor dangers; and Bella's animosity seemed lulled, too--at least, she +had not opened her mouth, except for food, since she sat down. + +In his expansion, he gave himself the airs of a host. "I hope," he said, +"I've served you all to your likings? Miss Parkinson, you're not getting +on; allow me to offer you a little more pork." + +"Thank you, Mr. Tweddle," said the implacable Bella, "but I won't +trouble you. I haven't an appetite to-day--like I had at those gardens." + +There was a challenge in this answer--not only to him, but to general +curiosity--which, to her evident disappointment, was not taken up. + +Leander turned to Jauncy. "I--I suppose you had no trouble in finding +your way here?" he said. + +"No," said Jauncy, "not more than usual; the streets were pretty full, +and that makes it harder to get along." + +"We met such quantities of soldiers," put in Bella. "Do you remember +those two soldiers at Rosherwich, Mr. Tweddle? How funny they did look, +dancing; didn't they? But I suppose I mustn't say anything about the +dancing here, must I?" + +"Since," said the poor badgered man, "you put it to me, Miss Parkinson, +I must say that, considering the _day_, you know----" + +"Yes," continued Mrs. Collum, severely; "surely there are better topics +for the Sabbath than--than a dancing soldier!" + +"Mr. Tweddle knows why I stopped myself," said Bella. "But there, I +won't tell of you--not now, at all events; so don't look like that at +me!" + +"There, Bella, that'll do," said her _fiancé_, suddenly awakening to the +fact that she was trying to make herself disagreeable, and perhaps +feeling slightly ashamed of her. + +"James! I know what to say and what to leave unsaid, without tellings +from you; thanks all the same. You needn't fear my saying a word about +Mr. Tweddle and Ada--la, now, if I haven't gone and said it! What a +stupid I am to run on so!" + +"_Drop_ it, Bella! Do you hear? That's enough," growled Jauncy. + +Leander sat silent; he did not attempt again to turn the conversation: +he knew better. Matilda seemed perfectly calm, and certainly showed no +surface curiosity; but he feared that her mother intended to require +explanations. + +Miss Tweddle came in here with the original remark that winter had begun +now in good earnest. + +"Yes," said Bella. "Why, as we came along, there wasn't hardly a leaf on +the trees in the squares; and yet only yesterday week, at the gardens, +the trees hadn't begun to shed. Had they, Mr. Tweddle? Oh, but I forgot; +you were so taken up with paying attention to Ada----(_Well_, James! I +suppose I can make a remark!)" + +"I'll never take you out again, if you don't hold that tongue," he +whispered savagely. + +Mrs. Collum fixed her eyes on Leander, as he sat cowering on her right. +"Leander Tweddle," she said, in a hissing whisper, "what is that young +person talking about? Who--who is this 'Ada'? I insist upon being +told." + +"If you want to know, ask her," he retorted desperately. + +All this by-play passed unnoticed by Miss Tweddle, who was probably too +full of the cares of a hostess to pay attention to it; and, accordingly, +she judged the pause that followed the fitting opportunity for a little +speech. + +"Mrs. Collum, ma'am," she began; "and my dearest Miss Matilda, the +flower of all my lady lodgers; and you, Leandy; and Mr. Jauncy; and, +though last mentioned, not intentionally so, I assure you, Miss +Parkinson, my dear--I couldn't tell you how honoured I feel to see you +all sitting, so friendly and cheerful, round my humble table. I hope +this will be only the beginning of many more so; and I wish you all your +very good healths!" + +"Which, if I may answer for self and present company," said Mr. Jauncy, +nobody else being able to utter a word, "we drink and reciprocate." + +Leander was saved for the moment, and the dinner passed without further +incident. But his aunt's vein of sentiment had been opened, and could +not be staunched all at once; for when the cloth was removed, and the +decanters and dishes of oranges placed upon the table, she gave a little +preparatory cough and began again. + +"I'm sure it isn't my wish to be ceremonial," she said; "but we're all +among friends--for I should like to look upon you as a friend, if you'll +let me," she added rather dubiously, to Bella. "And I don't really think +there could be a better occasion for a sort of little ceremony that I've +quite set my heart on. Leandy, _you_ know what I mean; and you've got it +with you, I know, because you were told to bring it with you." + +"Miss Tweddle," interrupted Matilda, hurriedly, "not now. I--I don't +think Vidler has sent it back yet. I told you, you know----" + +"That's all you know about it, young lady," she said, archly; "for I +stepped in there yesterday and asked him about it, to make sure, and he +told me it was delivered over the very Saturday afternoon before. So, +Leandy, oblige me for once, and put it on the dear girl's finger before +us all; you needn't be bashful with us, I'm sure, either of you." + +"What is all this?" asked Mrs. Collum. + +"Why, it's a ring, Mrs. Collum, ma'am, that belonged to my own dear +aunt, though she never wore it; and her grandfather had the posy +engraved on the inside of it. And I remember her telling me, before she +was taken, that she'd left it to me in her will, but I wasn't to let it +go out of the family. So I gave it to Leandy, to be his engagement ring; +but it's had to be altered, because it was ever so much too large as it +was." + +"I always thought," said Mrs. Collum, "that it was the gentleman's duty +to provide the ring." + +"So Leandy wanted to; but I said, 'You can pay for the altering; but I'm +fanciful about this, and I want to see dearest Miss Collum with my +aunt's ring on.'" + +"Oh, but, Miss Tweddle, can't you see?" said Matilda. "He's forgotten +it; don't--don't tease him about it.... It must be for some other time, +that's all!" + +"Matilda, I'm surprised at you," said her mother. "To forget such a +thing as that would be unpardonable in _any_ young man. Leander Tweddle, +you _cannot_ have forgotten it." + +"No," he said, "I've not forgotten it; but--but I haven't it about me, +and I don't know as I could lay my hand on it, just at present, and +that's the truth." + +"_Part_ of the truth," said Bella. "Oh, what deceitful things you men +are! Leave me alone, James; I will speak. I won't sit by and hear poor +dear Miss Collum deceived in this way. Miss Collum, ask him if that is +all he knows about it. Ask him, and see what he says." + +"I'm quite satisfied with what he has chosen to say already, Miss +Parkinson; thank you," said Matilda. + +"Then permit me to say, Miss Collum, that I'm truly sorry for you," said +Bella. + +"If you think so, Miss Parkinson, I suppose you must say so." + +"I do say it," said Bella; "for it's a sorrowful sight to see meekness +all run to poorness of spirit. You have a right to an explanation from +Mr. Tweddle there; and you would insist on it, if you wasn't afraid (and +with good reason) of the answer you'd get!" + +At the beginning of this short colloquy Miss Tweddle, after growing very +red and restless for some moments, had slipped out of the room, and came +in now, trembling and out of breath, with a bonnet in her hand and a +cloak over her arm. + +"Miss Parkinson," she said, speaking very rapidly, "when I asked you to +come here with my good friend and former lodger, I little thought that +anything but friendship would come of it; and sorry I am that it has +turned out otherwise. And my feelings to Mr. Jauncy are the same as +ever; but--this is your bonnet, Miss Parkinson, and your cloak. And this +is my house; and I shall be obliged if you'll kindly put on the ones, +and walk out of the other at once!" + +Bella burst into tears, and demanded from Mr. Jauncy why he had brought +her there to be insulted. + +"You brought it all on yourself," he said, gloomily; "you should have +behaved!" + +"What have I done," cried Bella, "to be told to go, as if I wasn't fit +to stay?" + +"I'll tell you what you've done," said Miss Tweddle. "You were asked +here with Mr. Jauncy to meet my dear Leandy and his young lady, and get +all four of you to know one another, and lay foundations for +Friendship's flowery bonds. And from the moment you came in, though I +paid no attention to it at first, you've done nothing but insinuate and +hint, and try all you could to set my dear Miss Collum and her ma +against my poor unoffending nephew; and I won't sit by any longer and +hear it. Put on your bonnet and cloak, Miss Parkinson, and Mr. Jauncy +(who knows I don't bear him any ill-feeling, whatever happens) will go +home with you." + +"I've said nothing," repeated Bella, "but what I'd a right to say, and +what I'll stand to." + +"If you don't put on those things," said Jauncy, "I shall go away +myself, and leave you to follow as best you can." + +"I'm putting them on," said Bella; and her hands were unsteady with +passion as she tied her bonnet-strings. "Don't bully _me_, James, +because I won't bear it! Mr. Tweddle, if you're a man, will you sit +there and tell me you don't know that that ring is on a certain person's +finger? Will you do that?" + +[Illustration: HER HANDS WERE UNSTEADY WITH PASSION AS SHE TIED HER +BONNET-STRINGS.] + +The miserable man concluded that Ada had disregarded his entreaties, and +told her sister all about the ring and the accursed statue. He could not +see why the story should have so inflamed Bella; but her temper was +always uncertain. + +Everybody was looking at him, and he was expected to say something. His +main idea was, that he would see how much Bella knew before committing +himself. + +"What have I ever done to offend you," he asked, "that you turn on me +in this downright vixenish manner? I scorn to reply to your +insinuations!" + +"Do you want me to speak out plain? James, stand away, _if_ you please. +You may all think what you choose of me. _I_ don't care! Perhaps if +_you_ were to come in and find the man who, only a week ago, had offered +marriage to your youngest sister, figuring away as engaged to quite +another lady, _you_ wouldn't be all milk and honey, either. I'm doing +right to expose him. The man who'd deceive one would deceive many, and +so you'll find, Miss Collum, little as you think it." + +"That's enough," said Miss Tweddle. "It's all a mistake, I'm sure, and +you'll be sorry some day for having made it. Now go, Miss Parkinson, and +make no more mischief!" + +A light had burst in upon Leander's perturbed mind. Ada had not broken +faith with him, after all. He remembered Bella's conduct during the +return from Rosherwich, and understood at last to what a mistake her +present wrath was due. + +Here, at all events, was an accusation he could repel with dignity, with +truth. Foolish and unlucky he had been--and how unlucky he still hoped +Matilda might never learn--but false he was not; and she should not be +allowed to believe it. + +"Miss Parkinson," he said, "I've been badgered long enough. What is it +you're trying to bring up against me about your sister Ada? Speak it +out, and I'm ready to answer you." + +"Leander," said Matilda, "I don't want to hear it from her. Only you +tell me that you've been true to me, and that is quite enough." + +"Matilda, you're a foolish girl, and don't know what you're talking +about," said her mother. "It is not enough for _me_; so I beg, young +woman, if you've anything to accuse the man who's to be my son-in-law +of, you'll say it now, in my presence, and let him contradict it +afterwards if he can." + +"Will he contradict his knowing my sister Ada, who's one of the ladies +at Madame Chenille's, in the Edgware Road, more than a twelvemonth +since, and paying her attentions?" asked Bella. + +"I don't deny," said Leander, "meeting her several times, and being +considerably struck, in a quiet way. But that was before I met Matilda." + +"You had met Matilda before last Saturday, I suppose?" sneered Bella, +spitefully--"when you laid your plans to join our party to Rosherwich, +and trouble my poor sister, who'd given up thinking of you." + +"There you go, Bella!" said her _fiancé_. "What do you know about his +plans? He'd no idea as Ada and you was to be there; and when I told him, +as we were driving down, it was all I could do to prevent him jumping +out of the cab." + +"I'm highly flattered to hear it," said Bella. "But he didn't seem to be +so afraid of Ada when they did meet; and you best know, Mr. Tweddle, the +things you said to that poor trusting girl all the time you were walking +and dancing and talking foolishness to her." + +"I never said a word that couldn't have been spoke from the top of St. +Paul's," protested Leander. "I did dance with her, I own, not to seem +uncivil; but we only waltzed round twice." + +"Then why did you give her a ring--an engagement ring too?" insisted +Bella. + +"Who saw me give her a ring?" he demanded hotly. "Do you dare to say you +did? Did she ever tell you I gave her any ring? You _know_ she didn't!" + +"If I can't trust my own ears," said Bella, "I should like to know what +I can trust. I heard you myself, in that railway carriage, ask my sister +Ada not to tell any one about some ring, and I tried to get out of Ada +afterwards what the secret was; but she wouldn't treat me as a sister, +and be open with me. But any one with eyes in their head could guess +what was between you, and all the time you an engaged man!" + +"See there, now!" cried the injured hairdresser; "there's a thing to go +and make all this mischief about! Matilda, Mrs. Collum, aunt, I declare +to you I told the--the other young woman everything about my having +formed new ties and that. I was very particular not to give rise to +hopes which were only doomed to be disappointed. As to what Miss +Parkinson says she overheard, why, it's very likely I may have asked her +sister to say nothing about a ring, and I won't deny it was the very +same ring that I was to have brought here to-day; for the fact was, I +had the misfortune to lose it in those very gardens, and naturally did +not wish it talked about: and that's the truth, as I stand here. As for +giving it away, I swear I never parted with it to no mortal woman!" + +"After that, Bella," observed Mr. Jauncy, "you'd better say you're sorry +you spoke, and come home with me--that's what you'd better do." + +"I shall say nothing of the sort," she asserted. "I'm too much of a lady +to stay where my company is not desired, and I'm ready to go as soon as +you please. But if he was to talk his head off, he would never persuade +me (whatever he may do other parties) that he's not been playing double; +and if Ada were here you would soon see whether he would have the face +to deny it. So good-night, Miss Tweddle, and sooner or later you'll find +yourself undeceived in your precious nephew, take my word for it. +Good-night, Miss Collum, and I'm only sorry you haven't more spirit than +to put up with such treatment. James, are you going to keep me waiting +any longer?" + +Mr. Jauncy, with confused apologies to the company generally, hurried +his betrothed off, in no very amiable mood, and showed his sense of her +indiscretions by indulging in some very plain speaking on their homeward +way. + +As the street door shut behind them, Leander gave a deep sigh of relief. + +"Matilda, my own dearest girl," he said, "now that that cockatrice has +departed, tell me, you don't doubt your Leander, do you?" + +"No," said Matilda, judicially, "I don't doubt you, Leander, only I do +wish you'd been a little more open with me; you might have told me you +had gone to those gardens and lost the ring, instead of leaving me to +hear it from that girl." + +"So I might, darling," he owned; "but I thought you'd disapprove." + +"And if she's _my_ daughter," observed Mrs. Collum, "she _will_ +disapprove." + +But it was evident from Matilda's manner that the inference was +incorrect; the relief of finding Leander guiltless on the main count had +blinded her to all minor shortcomings, and he had the happiness of +knowing himself fully and freely forgiven. + +If this could only have been the end! But, while he was still throbbing +with bliss, he heard a sound, at which his "bedded hair" started up and +stood on end--the ill-omened sound of a slow and heavy footfall. + +"Leandy," cried his aunt, "how strange you're looking!" + +"There's some one in the passage," he said, hoarsely. "I'll go and see +her. Don't any of you come out." + +"Why, it's only our Jane," said his aunt; "she always treads heavy." + +The steps were heard going up the stairs; then they seemed to pause +halfway, and descend again. "I'll be bound she's forgot something," said +Miss Tweddle. "I never knew such a head as that girl's;" and Leander +began to be almost reassured. + +The steps were heard in the adjoining room, which was shut off by +folding doors from the one they were occupying. + +"Leander," cried Matilda, "what _can_ there be to look so frightened +of?" and as she spoke there came a sounding solemn blow upon the +folding-doors. + +"I never saw the lady before in all my life!" moaned the guilty man, +before the doors had time to swing back; for he knew too well who stood +behind them. + +And his foreboding was justified to the full. The doors yielded to the +blow, and, opening wide, revealed the tall and commanding figure of the +goddess; her face, thanks to Leander's pigments, glowing lifelike under +her hood, and the gold ring gleaming on her outstretched hand. + +"Leander," said the goddess, in her low musical accents, "come away." + +"Upon my word!" cried Mrs. Collum. "_Who_ is this person?" + +He could not speak. There seemed to be a hammer beating on his brain, +reducing it to a pulp. + +"Perhaps," said Miss Tweddle--"perhaps, young lady, you'll explain what +you've come for?" + +The statue slowly pointed to Leander. "I come for him," she said +calmly. "He has vowed himself to me; he is mine!" + +Matilda, after staring, incredulous, for some moments at the intruder, +sank with a wild scream upon the sofa, and hid her face. + +Leander flew to her side. "Matilda, my own," he implored, "don't be +alarmed. She won't touch _you_; it's _me_ she's come after." + +Matilda rose and repulsed him with a sudden energy. "How dare you!" she +cried, hysterically. "I see it all now: the ring, the--the cloak; _she_ +has had them all the time!.... Fool that I was--silly, trusting fool!" +And she broke out into violent hysterics. + +"Go away at once, hypocrite!" enjoined her mother, addressing the +distracted hairdresser, as he stood, dumb and impotent, before her. "Do +you want to kill my poor child? Take yourself off!" + +"For goodness' sake, go, Leandy," added his aunt. "I can't bear the +sight of you!" + +"Leander, I wait," said the statue. "Come!" + +He stood there a moment longer, looking blankly at the two elder women +as they bustled about the prostrate girl, and then he gave a bitter, +defiant laugh. + +His fate was too strong for him. No one was in the mood to listen to any +explanation; it was all over! "I'm coming," he said to the goddess. "I +may as well; I'm not wanted here." + +And, with a smothered curse, he dashed blindly from the room, and out +into the foggy street. + + + + +AN APPEAL + +XII. + + "If you did know to whom I gave the ring, + If you did know for whom I gave the ring, + And how unwillingly I left the ring, + You would abate the strength of your displeasure." + + _Merchant of Venice._ + + +Leander strode down the street in a whirl of conflicting emotions. At +the very moment when he seemed to have prevailed over Miss Parkinson's +machinations, his evil fate had stepped in and undone him for ever! What +would become of him without Matilda? As he was thinking of his gloomy +prospects, he noticed, for the first time, that the statue was keeping +step by his side, and he turned on her with smothered rage. "Well," he +began, "I hope you're satisfied?" + +"Quite, Leander, quite satisfied; for have I not found you?" + +"Oh, you've found me right enough," he replied, with a groan--"trust you +for that! What I should like to know is, how the dickens you did it?" + +"Thus," she replied: "I awoke, and it was dark, and you were not there, +and I needed you; and I went forth, and called you by your name. And +you, now that you have hearkened to my call, you are happy, are you +not?" + +"Me?" said Leander, grimly. "Oh, I'm regular jolly, I am! Haven't I +reason?" + +"Your sisters seemed alarmed at my coming," she said. "Why?" + +"Well," said Leander, "they aren't used to having marble goddesses +dropping in on them promiscuously." + +"The youngest wept: was it because I took you from her side?" + +"I shouldn't wonder," he returned gruffly. "Don't bother me!" + +When they were both safely within the little upper room again, he opened +the cupboard door wide. "Now, marm," he said, in a voice which trembled +with repressed rage, "you must be tired with the exercise you've took +this evening, and I'll trouble you to walk in here." + +"There are many things on which I would speak with you," she said. + +"You must keep them for next time," he answered roughly. "If you can see +anything, you can see that just now I'm not in a temper for to stand it, +whatever I may be another evening." + +"Why do I suffer this language from you?" she demanded +indignantly--"why?" + +"If you don't go in, you'll hear language you'll like still less, +goddess or no goddess!" he said, foaming. "I mean it. I've been worked +up past all bearing, and I advise you to let me alone just now, or +you'll repent it!" + +"Enough!" she said haughtily, and stalked proudly into the lonely niche, +which he closed instantly. As he did so, he noticed his Sunday papers +lying still folded on his table, and seized one eagerly. + +"It may have something in it about what Jauncy was telling me of," he +said; and his search was rewarded by the following paragraph:-- + +"DARING CAPTURE OF BURGLARS IN BLOOMSBURY.--On the night of Friday, the +--th, Police-constable Yorke, B 954, while on duty, in the course of one +of his rounds, discovered two men, in a fainting condition and covered +with blood, which was apparently flowing from sundry wounds upon their +persons, lying against the railings of Queen Square. Being unable to +give any coherent account of themselves, and housebreaking implements +being found in their possession, they were at once removed to the Bow +Street Station, where, the charge having been entered against them, they +were recognized by a member of the force as two notorious housebreakers +who have long been 'wanted' in connection with the Camberwell burglary, +in which, as will be remembered, an officer lost his life." + +The paragraph went on to give their names and sundry other details, and +concluded with a sentence which plunged Leander into fresh torments:-- + +"In spite of the usual caution, both prisoners insisted upon +volunteering a statement, the exact nature of which has not yet +transpired, but which is believed to have reference to another equally +mysterious outrage--the theft of the famous Venus from the Wricklesmarsh +Collection--and is understood to divert suspicion into a hitherto +unsuspected channel." + +What could this mean, if not that those villains, smarting under their +second failure, had denounced him in revenge? He tried to persuade +himself that the passage would bear any other construction, but not very +successfully. "If they have brought _me_ in," he thought, and it was his +only gleam of consolation, "I should have heard of it before this." + +And even this gleam vanished as a sharp knocking was heard below; and, +descending to open the door, he found his visitor to be Inspector +Bilbow. + +"Evening, Tweddle," said the Inspector, quietly. "I've come to have +another little talk with you." + +Leander thought he would play his part till it became quite hopeless. +"Proud to see you, Mr. Inspector," he said. "Will you walk into my +saloon? and I'll light the gas for you." + +"No, don't you trouble yourself," said the terrible man. "I'll walk +upstairs where you're sitting yourself, if you've no objections." + +Leander dared not make any, and he ushered the detective upstairs +accordingly. + +"Ha!" said the latter, throwing a quick eye round the little room. "Nice +little crib you've got here. Keep everything you want on the premises, +eh? Find those cupboards very convenient, I dare say?" + +"Very," said Leander (like the innocent Joseph Surface that he was); +"oh, very convenient, sir." He tried to keep his eyes from resting too +consciously upon the fatal door that held his secret. + +"Keep your coal and your wine and spirits there?" said the detective. +(Was he watching his countenance, or not?) + +"Y--yes," said Leander; "leastways, in one of them. Will you take +anything, sir?" + +"Thank 'ee, Tweddle; I don't mind if I do. And what do you keep in the +other one, now?" + +"The other?" said the poor man. "Oh, odd things!" (He certainly had +_one_ odd thing in it.) + +After the officer had chosen and mixed his spirits and water, he began: +"Now, you know what's brought me here, don't you?" + +("If he was sure, he wouldn't try to pump me," argued Leander. "I won't +throw up just yet.") + +"I suppose it's the ring," he replied innocently. "You don't mean to say +you've got it back for me, Mr. Inspector? Well, I _am_ glad." + +"I thought you set no particular value on the ring when I met you last?" +said the other. + +"Why," said Leander, "I may have said so out of politeness, not wanting +to trouble you; but, as you said it was the statue you were after +chiefly, why, I don't mind admitting that I shall be thankful indeed to +get that ring back. And so you've brought it, have you, sir?" + +He said this so naturally, having called in all his powers of +dissimulation to help him in his extremity, that the detective was +favourably impressed. He had already felt a suspicion that he had been +sent here on a fool's errand, and no one could have looked less like a +daring criminal, and the trusted confederate of still more daring +ruffians, than did Leander at that moment. + +"Heard anything of Potter lately?" he asked, wishing to try the effect +of a sudden _coup_. + +"I don't know the gentleman," said Leander, firmly; for, after all, he +did not. + +"Now, take care. He's been seen to frequent this house. We know more +than you think, young man." + +"Oh! if he bluffs, _I_ can bluff too," passed through Leander's mind. +"Inspector Bilbow," he said, "I give you my sacred honour, I've never +set eyes on him. He can't have been here, not with my knowledge. It's my +belief you're trying to make out something against me. If you're a +friend, Inspector, you'll tell me straight out." + +"That's not our way of doing business; and yet, hang it, I ought to know +an honest man by this time! Tweddle, I'll drop the investigator, and +speak as man to man. You've been reported to me (never mind by whom) as +the receiver of the stolen Venus--a pal of this very Potter--that's what +I've against you, my man!" + +"I know who told you that," said Leander; "it was that Count and his +precious friend Braddle!" + +"Oh, you know them, do you? That's an odd guess for an innocent man, +Tweddle!" + +"They found me out from inquiries at the gardens," said Leander; "and as +for guessing, it's in this very paper. So it's me they've gone and +implicated, have they? All right. I suppose they're men whose word you'd +go by, wouldn't you, sir--truthful, reliable kind of parties, eh?" + +"None of that, Tweddle," said the Inspector, rather uneasily. "We +officers are bound to follow up any clue, no matter where it comes from. +I was informed that that Venus is concealed somewhere about these +premises. It may be, or it may not be; but it's my duty to make the +proper investigations. If you were a prince of the blood, it would be +all the same." + +"Well, all I can say is, that I'm as innocent as my own toilet +preparations. Ask yourself if it is likely. What could _I_ do with a +stolen statue--not to mention that I'm a respectable tradesman, with a +reputation to maintain? Excuse me, but I'm afraid those burglars have +been 'aving a lark with you, sir." + +He went just a little too far here, for the detective was visibly +irritated. + +"Don't chatter to me," he said. "If you're innocent, so much the better +for you; if that statue is found here after this, it will ruin you. If +you know anything, be it ever so little, about it, the best thing you +can do is to speak out while there's time." + +"I can only say, once more, I'm as innocent as the drivelling snow," +repeated Leander. "Why can't you believe my word against those +blackguards?" + +"Perhaps I do," said the other; "but I must make a formal look round, to +ease my conscience." + +Leander's composure nearly failed him. "By all means," he said at +length. "Come and ease your conscience all over the house, sir, do; I +can show you over." + +"Softly," said the detective. "I'll begin here, and work gradually up, +and then down again." + +"Here?" said Leander, aghast. "Why, you've seen all there is there!" + +"Now, Tweddle, I shall conduct this my own way, if _you_ please. I've +been following your eyes, Tweddle, and they've told me tales. I'll +trouble you to open that cupboard you keep looking at so." + +"This cupboard?" cried Leander. "Why, you don't suppose I've got the +Venus in there, sir!" + +"If it's anywhere, it's there! There's no taking me in, I tell you. Open +it!" + +"Oh!" said Leander, "it is hard to be the object of these cruel +suspicions. Mr. Inspector, listen to me. I can't open that cupboard, and +I'll tell you why.... You--you've been young yourself.... Think how +you'd feel in my situation ... and consider _her_! As a gentleman, you +won't press it, I'm sure!" + +"If I'm making any mistake, I shall know how to apologise," said the +Inspector. "If you don't open that cupboard, _I_ shall." + +"Never!" exclaimed Leander. "I'll die first!" and he threw himself upon +the handle. + +The other caught him by the shoulders, and sent him twirling into the +opposite corner; and then, taking a key from his own pocket, he opened +the door himself. + +"I--I never encouraged her!" whimpered Leander, as he saw that all was +lost. + +The officer had stepped back in silence from the cupboard; then he faced +Leander, with a changed expression. "I suppose you think yourself +devilish sharp?" he said savagely; and Leander discovered that the +cupboard was as bare as Mother Hubbard's! + +He was not precisely surprised, except at first. "She's keeping out of +the way; she wouldn't be the goddess she is if she couldn't do a +trifling thing like that!" was all he thought of the phenomenon. He +forced himself to laugh a little. + +"Excuse me," he said, "but you did seem so set on detecting something +wrong, that I couldn't help humouring you!" + +Inspector Bilbow was considerably out of humour, and gave Leander to +understand that he would laugh in a certain obscure region, known as +"the other side of his face," by-and-by. "You take care, that's my +advice to you, young man. I've a deuced good mind to arrest you on +suspicion as it is!" he said hotly. + +"Lor', sir!" said Leander, "what for--for not having anything in that +cupboard?" + +"It's my belief you know more than you choose to tell. Be that as it +may, I shall not take you into custody for the present; but you pay +attention to what I'm going to tell you next. Don't you attempt to leave +this house, or to remove anything from it, till you see me again, and +that'll be some time to-morrow evening. If you do attempt it, you'll be +apprehended at once, for you're being watched. I tell you that for your +own sake, Tweddle; for I've no wish to get you into trouble if you act +fairly by me. But mind you stay where you are for the next twenty-four +hours." + +"And what's to happen then?" said Leander. + +"I mean to have the whole house thoroughly searched and you must be +ready to give us every assistance--that's what's to happen. I might make +a secret of it; but where's the use? If you're not a fool, you'll see +that it won't do to play any tricks. You'd far better stand by me than +Potter." + +"I tell you I don't know Potter. _Blow_ Potter!" said Leander, warmly. + +"We shall see," was all the detective deigned to reply; "and just be +ready for my men to-morrow evening, or take the consequences. Those are +my last words to you!" + +And with this he took his leave. He was by no means the most brilliant +officer in the Department, and he felt uncomfortably aware that he did +not see his way clear as yet. He could not even make up his mind on so +elementary a point as Leander's guilt or innocence. + +But he meant to take the course he had announced, and his frankness in +giving previous notice was not without calculation. He argued thus: If +Tweddle was free from all complicity, nothing was lost by delaying the +search for a day; if he were guilty, he would be more than mortal if he +did not attempt, after such a warning, either to hide his booty more +securely, and probably leave traces which would betray him, or else to +escape when his guilt would be manifest. + +Unfortunately, there were circumstances in the case which he could not +be expected to know, and which made his logic inapplicable. + +After he had gone, Leander thrust his hands deep into his pockets, and +began to whistle forlornly. "A little while ago it was burglars--now +it's police!" he reflected aloud. "I'm going it, I am! And then there's +Matilda and that there Venus--one predickyment on top of another!" (But +here a sudden hope lightened his burden.) "Suppose she's took herself +off for good?" He was prevented from indulging this any further by a +long, low laugh, which came from the closed cupboard. + +"No such luck--she's back again!" he groaned. "Oh, _come_ out if you +want to. Don't stay larfin' at me in there!" + +The goddess stepped out, with a smile of subdued mirth upon her lips. +"Leander," she said, "did it surprise you just now that I had vanished?" + +"Oh," he said wearily, "I don't know--yes, I suppose so. You found some +way of getting through at the back, I dare say?" + +"Do you think that even now I cannot break through the petty restraints +of matter?" + +"Well, however it was managed, it was cleverly done. I must say that. I +didn't hardly expect it of you. But you must do the same to-morrow +night, mind you!" + +"Must I, indeed?" she said. + +"Yes, unless you want to ruin me altogether, you must. They're going to +search the premises _for you_!" + +"I have heard all," she said. "But give yourself no anxiety: by that +time you and I will be beyond human reach." + +"Not me," he corrected. "If you think I'm going to let myself be wafted +over to Cyprus (which is British soil now, let me tell you), you're +under a entire delusion. I've never been wafted anywhere yet, and I +don't mean to try it!" + +All her pent-up wrath broke forth and descended upon him with crushing +force. + +"Meanest and most contemptible of mortal men, you shall recognize me as +the goddess I am! I have borne with you too long; it shall end this +night. Shallow fool that you have been, to match your puny intellect +against a goddess famed for her wiles as for her beauty! You have +thought me simple and guileless; you have never feared to treat me with +disrespect; you have even dared to suppose that you could keep me--an +immortal--pent within these wretched walls! I humoured you; I let you +fool yourself with the notion that your will was free--your soul your +own. Now that is over! Consider the perils which encircle you. +Everything has been aiding to drive you into these arms. My hour of +triumph is at hand--yield, then! Cast yourself at my feet, and grovel +for pardon--for mercy--or assuredly I will spare you not!" + +Leander went down on all fours on the hearthrug. "Mercy!" he cried, +feebly. "I've meant no offence. Only tell me what you want of me." + +[Illustration: LEANDER WENT DOWN ON ALL FOURS ON THE HEARTH-RUG.] + +"Why should I tell you again? I demand the words from you which place +you within my power: speak them at once!" + +("Ah," thought Leander, "I am not in her power as it is, then.") "If I +was to tell you once more that I couldn't undertake to say any such +words?" he asked aloud. + +"Then," she said, "my patience would be at an end, and I would scatter +your vile frame to the four winds of heaven!" + +"Lady Venus," said Leander, getting up with a white and desperate face, +"don't drive me into a corner. I can't go off, not at a moment's +notice--in either way! I--I must have a day--only a day--to make my +arrangements in. Give me a day, Lady Venus; I ask it as a partickler +favour!" + +"Be it so," she said. "One day I give you in which to take leave of +such as may be dear to you; but, after that, I will listen to no further +pleadings. You are mine, and, all unworthy as you are, I shall hold you +to your pledge!" + +Leander was left with this terrible warning ringing in his ears: the +goddess would hold him to his involuntary pledge. Even he could see that +it was pride, and not affection, which rendered her so determined; and +he trembled at the thought of placing himself irrevocably in her power. + +But what was he to do? The alternative was too awful; and then, in +either case, he must lose Matilda. Here the recollection of how he had +left her came over him with a vivid force. What must she be thinking of +him at that moment? And who would ever tell her the truth, when he had +been spirited away for ever? + +"Oh, Matilda!" he cried, "if you only knew the hidgeous position I'm +in--if you could only advise me what to do--I could bear it better!" + +And then he resolved that he would ask that advice without delay, and +decide nothing until she replied. There was no reason for any further +concealment: she had seen the statue herself, and must know the worst. +What she could not know was his perfect innocence of any real +unfaithfulness to her, and that he must explain. + +He sat up all night composing a letter that should touch her to the +heart, with the following result:-- + + "MY OWN DEAREST GIRL, + + "If such you will still allow me to qualify you, I write to you in + a state of mind that I really 'ardly know what I am about, but I + cannot indure making no effort to clear up the gaping abiss which + the events of the past fatal afternoon has raised betwixt us. + + "In spite of all I could do, you have now seen, and been justly + alarmed at, the Person with whom I allowed myself to become + involved in such a unhappy and unprecedented manner, and having + done so, you can think for yourself whether that Art of Stone was + able for to supplant yours for a single moment, though the way in + which such a hidgeous Event transpired I can not trust my pen to + describe except in the remark that it was purely axidental. It all + appened on that ill-ominous Saturday when we went down to those + Gardens where my Doom was saving up to lay in wait for me, and I + scorn to deny that Bella's sister Ada was one of the party. But as + to anything serous in that quarter, oh Tilly the ole time I was + contrasting you with her and thinking how truly superior, and never + did I swerve not what could be termed a swerve for a instant. I did + dance arf a walz with her--but why? Because she asked me to it and + as a Gentleman I was bound to oblige! And that was afterwards too, + when I had put that ring on which is the sauce of all my recent + aggony. All the while I was dancing my thoughts were elsewhere--on + how I could get the ring back again, for so I still hoped I could, + though when I came to have a try, oh my dear girl no one couldn't + persuade her she's that obstinate, and yet unless I do it is all + over with me, and soon too! + + "And now if it's the last time I shall ever write words with a + mortal pen, I must request your support in this dilemmer which is + sounding its dread orns at my very door! + + "You know what she is and who she is, and you cannot doubt but what + she's a _goddess_ loath as you must feel to admit such a thing, and + I ask you if it would be downright wicked in me to do what she + tells me I must do. Indeed I wont do it, being no less than flying + with her immediate to a distant climb, and you know how repugnant I + am to such a action--not if you advise me against it or even if you + was but to assure me your affections were unchanged in spite of + all! But you know we parted under pigulier circs, and I cannot + disgise from myself that you may be thinking wuss of me than what + Matilda I can honestly say I deserve! + + "Now I tell you solimly that if this is the fact, and you've been + thinking of your proper pride and your womanly dignity and things + like that--there's _no time for to do it in_ Matilda, if you don't + want to break with me for all Eternity! + + "For she's pressing me to carry out the pledge, as she calls it, + and I must decide before this time to-morrow, and I want to feel + you are not lost to me before I can support my trial, and what with + countless perplexities and burglars threatening, and giving false + informations, and police searching, there's no saying what I may do + nor what I mayn't do if I'm left to myself, for indeed I am very + unappy Matilda, and if ever a man was made a Victim through acting + without intentions, or if with, of the best--I am that Party! O + Matilda don't, don't desert me, unless you have seased to care for + me, and in that contingency I can look upon my Fate whatever it be + with a apathy that will supply the courage which will not even + winch at its approach, but if I am still of value, come, and come + precious soon, or it will be too late to the Asistance of + + "Your truly penitent and unfortunate + + "LEANDER TWEDDLE. + + "P.S.--You will see the condition of my feelings from my + spelling--I haven't the hart to spell." + +Dawn was breaking as he put the final touches to this appeal, and read +it over with a gloomy approbation. He had always cherished the +conviction that he could "write a good letter when he was put to it," +and felt now that he had more than risen to the occasion. + +"William shall take it down to Bayswater the first thing to-morrow--no, +to-day, I mean," he said, rubbing his hot eyes. "I fancy it will do my +business!" + +And it did. + + + + +THE LAST STRAW + +XIII. + + "Thou in justice, + If from the height of majesty we can + Look down upon thy lowness and embrace it, + Art bound with fervour to look up to me." + + MASSINGER, _Roman Actor._ + + +Haggard and distraught was Leander as he went about his business that +morning, so mechanically that one customer, who had requested to have +his luxuriant locks "trimmed," found himself reduced to a state of penal +bullet-headedness before he could protest, and another sacrificed his +whiskers and part of one ear to the hairdresser's uninspired scissors. +For Leander's eyes were constantly turning to the front part of his +shop, where his apprentice might come in at any moment with the answer +to his appeal. + +At last the moment came when the bell fixed at the door sounded sharply, +and he saw the sleek head and chubby red face he had been so anxiously +expecting. He was busy with a customer; but that could not detain him +then, and he rushed quickly into the outer shop. "Well, William," he +said, breathlessly, "a nice time you've been over that message! I gave +you the money for your 'bus." + +"Yusser, but it was this way: you said a green 'bus, and I took a green +'bus with 'Bayswater' on it, and I didn't know nothing was wrong, and +when it stopped I sez to the conductor, 'This ain't Kensington +Gardings;' and he sez, 'No, it's Archer Street;' and I sez----" + +"Never mind that now; you got to the shop, didn't you?" + +"Yes, I got to the shop, sir, and I see the lady; but I sez to that +conductor, 'You should ha' told me,' I sez----" + +"Did she give you anything for me?" interrupted Leander, impatiently. + +"Yessur," said the boy. + +"Then where the dooce is it?" + +"'Ere!" said William, and brought out an envelope, which his master tore +open with joy. It contained his own letter! + +"William," he said unsteadily, "is this all?" + +"Ain't it enough, sir?" said the young scoundrel, who had guessed the +state of affairs, and felt an impish satisfaction at his employer's +rejection. + +"None of that, William; d'ye hear me?" said Leander. "William, I ain't +been a bad master to you. Tell me, how did she take it?" + +"Well, she didn't seem to want to take it nohow at first," said the boy. +"I went up to the desk where she was a-sittin' and gave it her, and +by-and-by she opened it with the tips of her fingers, as if it would +bite, and read it all through very careful, and I could see her nose +going up gradual, and her colour coming, and then she sez to me, 'You +may go now, boy; there's no answer.' And I sez to her, 'If you please, +miss, master said as I was not to go away without a answer.' So she sez, +uncommon short and stiff, 'In that case he shall have it!'--like that, +she says, as proud as a queen, and she scribbles a line or two on it, +and throws it to me, and goes on casting up figgers." + +"A line or two! where?" cried Leander, and caught up the letter again. +Yes, there on the last page was Matilda's delicate commercial +handwriting, and the poor man read the cruel words, "_I have nothing to +advise; I give you up to your 'goddess'!_" + +"Very well, William," he said, with a deadly calm; "that's all. You +young devil! what are you a-sniggering at?" he added, with a sudden +outburst. + +"On'y something I 'eard a boy say in the street, sir, going along, sir; +nothing to do with you, sir." + +"Oh, youth, youth!" muttered the poor broken man; "boys don't grow +feelings, any more than they grow whiskers!" + +And he went back to his saloon, where he was instantly hailed with +reproaches from the abandoned customer. + +"Look here, sir! what do you mean by this? I told you I wanted to be +shaved, and you've soaped the top of my head and left it to cool! +What"--and he made use of expletives here--"what are you about?" + +Leander apologized on the ground of business of a pressing nature, but +the customer was not pacified. + +"Business, sir! your business is _here_: _I'm_ your business! And I come +to be shaved, and you soap the top of my head, and leave me all alone to +dry! It's scandalous! it's----" + +"Look here, sir," interrupted Leander, gloomily; "I've a good deal of +private trouble to put up with just now, without having _you_ going on +at me; so I must ask you not to 'arris me like this, or I don't know +what I might do, with a razor so 'andy!" + +"That'll do!" said the customer, hastily. "I--I don't care about being +shaved this morning. Wipe my head, and let me go; no, I'll wipe it +myself,--don't you trouble!" and he made for the door. "It's my belief," +he said, pausing on the threshold for an instant, "that you're a +dangerous lunatic, sir; you ought to be shut up!" + +"I dessay I shall have a mad doctor down on me after this," thought +Leander; "but I shan't wait for _him_. No, it is all over now; the die +is fixed! Cruel Tillie! you have spoke the mandrake; you have thrust me +into the stony harms of that 'eathen goddess--always supposing the +police don't nip in fust, and get the start of her." + +No more customers came that day, which was fortunate, perhaps, for them. +The afternoon passed, and dusk approached, but the hairdresser sat on, +motionless, in his darkening saloon, without the energy to light a +single gas-jet. + +At last he roused himself sufficiently to go to the head of the stairs +leading to his "labatry," and call for William, who, it appeared, was +composing an egg-wash, after one of his employer's formulæ, and came up, +wondering to find the place in darkness. + +"Come here, William," said Leander, solemnly. "I just want a few words +with you, and then you can go. I can do the shutting-up myself. William, +we can none of us foretell the future; and it may so 'appen that you are +looking on my face for the last time. If it should so be, William, +remember the words I am now about to speak, and lay them to 'art!... +This world is full of pitfalls; and some of us walk circumspect and keep +out of 'em, and some of us, William--some of us don't. If there's any +places more abounding in pitfalls than what others are, it is the +noxious localities known under the deceitful appellation of 'pleasure' +gardens. And you may take that as the voice of one calling to you from +the bottom of about as deep a 'ole as a mortal man ever plumped into. +And if ever you find a taste for statuary growing on you, William, keep +it down, wrastle with it, and don't encourage it. Farewell, William! Be +here at the usual time to-morrow, though whether you will find _me_ here +is more than I can say." + +The boy went away, much impressed by so elaborate and formal a parting, +which seemed to him a sign that, in his parlance, "the guv'nor was going +to make a bolt of it." + +Leander busied himself in some melancholy preparations for his impending +departure, dissolution, or incarceration; he was not very clear which it +might be. + +He went down and put his "labatry" in order. There he had worked with +all the fiery zeal of an inventor at the discoveries which were to +confer perpetual youth, in various sized bottles, upon a grateful world. +He must leave them all, with his work scarcely begun! Another would step +in and perfect what he had left incomplete! + +He came up again, with a heavy heart, and examined his till. There was +not much; enough, however, for William's wages and any small debts. He +made a list of these, and left it there with the coin. "They must settle +it among themselves," he thought, wearily; "I can't be bothered with +business now." + +He was thinking whether it was worth while to shut the shop up or not; +when a clear voice sounded from above-- + +"Leander, where art thou? Come hither!" + +And he started as if he had been shot. "I'm coming, madam," he called +up, obsequiously. "I'll be with you in one minute!" + +"Now for it," he thought, as he went up to his sitting-room. "I wish I +wasn't all of a twitter. I wish I knew what was coming next!" + +The room was dark, but when he got a light he saw the statue standing in +the centre of the room, her hood thrown back, and the fur-lined mantle +hanging loosely about her; the face looked stern and terrible under its +brilliant tint. + +"Have you made your choice?" she demanded. + +"Choice!" he said. "I haven't any choice left me!" + +"It is true," she said triumphantly. "Your friends have deserted you; +mortals are banded together to seize and disgrace you: you have no +refuge but with me. But time is short. Come, then, place yourself within +the shelter of these arms, and, while they enfold you tight in their +marble embrace, repeat after me the words which complete my power." + +"There's no partickler hurry," he objected. "I will directly. I--I only +want to know what will happen when I've done it. You can't have any +objection to a natural curiosity like that." + +"You will lose consciousness, to recover it in balmy Cyprus, with +Aphrodite (no longer cold marble, but the actual goddess, warm and +living), by your side! Ah! impervious one, can you linger still? Do you +not tremble with haste to feel my breath fanning your cheek, my soft arm +around your neck? Are not your eyes already dazzled by the gleam of my +golden tresses?" + +"Well, I can't say they are; not at present," said Leander. "And, you +see, it's all very well; but, as I asked you once before, how are you +going to _get_ me there? It's a long way, and I'm ten stone, if I'm an +ounce!" + +"Heavy-witted youth, it is not your body that will taste perennial +bliss." + +"And what's to become of that, then?" he asked, anxiously. + +"That will be left here, clasped to this stone, itself as cold and +lifeless." + +"Oh!" said Leander, "I didn't bargain for that, and I don't like it." + +"You will know nothing of it; you will be with me, in dreamy grottoes +strewn with fragrant rushes and the new-stript leaves of the vine, where +the warm air woos to repose with its languorous softness, and the water +as it wells murmurs its liquid laughter. Ah! no Greek would have +hesitated thus." + +"Well, I ain't a Greek; and, as a business man, you can't be surprised +if I want to make sure it's a genuine thing, and worth the risk, before +I commit myself. I think I understand that it's the gold ring which is +to bind us two together?" + +"It is," she said; "by that pure and noble metal are we united." + +"Well," said Leander, "that being so, I should wish to have it tested, +else there might be a hitch somewhere or other." + +"Tested!" she cried; "what is that?" + +"Trying it, to see if it's real gold or not," he said. "We can easily +have it done." + +"It is needless," she replied, haughtily. "I will not suffer my power to +be thus doubted, nor that of the pure and precious metal through which I +have obtained it!" + +Leander might have objected to this as an example of that obscure feat, +"begging the question;" for, whether the metal _was_ pure and precious, +was precisely the point he desired to ascertain. And this desire was +quite genuine; for, though he saw no other course before him but that +upon which the goddess insisted, he did wish to take every reasonable +precaution. + +"For all I know," he reasoned in his own mind, "if there's anything +wrong with that ring, I may be left 'igh and dry, halfway to Cyprus; or +she may get tired of me, and turn me out of those grottoes of hers! If I +must go with her, I should like to make things as safe as I could." + +"It won't take long," he pleaded; "and if I find the ring's real gold, I +promise I won't hold out any longer." + +"There is no time," she said, "to indulge this whim. Would you mock me, +Leander? Ha! did I not say so? Listen!" + +The private bell was ringing loudly. Leander rushed to the window, but +saw no one. Then he heard the clang of the shop bell, as if the person +or persons had discovered that an entrance was possible there. + +"The guards!" said the statue. "Will you wait for them, Leander?" + +"No!" he cried. "Never mind what I said about the ring; I'll risk that. +Only--only, don't go away without me.... Tell me what to say, and I'll +say it, and chance the consequences!" + +"Say, 'Aphrodite, daughter of Olympian Zeus, I yield; I fulfil the +pledge; I am thine!'" + +"Well," he thought, "here goes. Oh, Matilda, you're responsible for +this!" And he advanced towards the white extended arms of the goddess. +There were hasty steps outside; another moment and the door would be +burst open. + +"Aphrodite, daughter of----" he began, and recoiled suddenly; for he +heard his name called from without in a voice familiar and once dear to +him. + +"Leander, where are you? It's all dark! Speak to me; tell me you've +done nothing rash! Oh, Leander, it's Matilda!" + +That voice, which a short while back he would have given the world to +hear once more, appalled him now. For if she came in, the goddess would +discover who she was, and then--he shuddered to think what might happen +then! + +Matilda's hand was actually on the door. "Stop where you are!" he +shouted, in despair; "for mercy's sake, don't come in!" + +[Illustration: "STOP WHERE YOU ARE!... FOR MERCY'S SAKE, DON'T COME +IN!"] + +"Ah! you are there, and alive!" she cried. "I am not too late; and I +_will_ come in!" + +And in another instant she burst into the room, and stood there, her +tear-stained face convulsed with the horror of finding him in such +company. + + + + +THE THIRTEENTH TRUMP + +XIV. + + "Your adversary having thus secured the lead with the last trump, + you will be powerless to prevent the bringing-in of the long suit." + + ROUGH'S _Guide to Whist._ + + "What! thinkest thou that utterly in vain + Jove is my sire, and in despite my will + That thou canst mock me with thy beauty still?" + + _Story of Cupid and Psyche._ + + +Leander, when he wrote his distracted appeal to Matilda, took it for +granted that she had recognized the statue for something of a +supernatural order, and this, combined with his perplexed state of mind, +caused him to be less explicit than he might have been in referring to +the goddess's ill-timed appearance. + +But, unfortunately, as will probably have been already anticipated, the +only result of this reticence was, that Matilda saw in his letter an +abject entreaty for her consent to his marriage with Ada Parkinson, to +avoid legal proceedings, and, under this misapprehension, she wrote the +line that abandoned all claims upon him, and then went on with her +accounts, which were not so neatly kept that day as usual. + +What she felt most keenly in Leander's conduct was, that he should have +placed the ring, which to all intent was her own, upon the finger of +another. She could not bear to think of so unfeeling an act, and yet she +thought of it all through the long day, as she sat, outwardly serene, at +her high desk, while her attendants at her side made up sprays for +dances and wreaths for funerals from the same flowers. + +And at last she felt herself urged to a course which, in her ordinary +mind, she would have shrunk from as a lowering of her personal dignity: +she would go and see her rival, and insist that this particular +humiliation should be spared her. The ring was not Leander's to dispose +of--at least, to dispose of thus; it was not right that any but herself +should wear it; and, though the token could never now be devoted to its +rightful use, she wanted to save it from what, in her eyes, was a kind +of profanation. + +She would not own it to herself, but there was a motive stronger than +all this--the desire to relieve her breast of some of the indignation +which was choking her, and of which her pride forbade any betrayal to +Leander himself. + +This other woman had supplanted her; but she should be made to feel the +wrong she had done, and her triumphs should be tempered with shame, if +she were capable of such a sensation. Matilda knew very well that the +ring was not hers, and she wanted it no longer; but, then, it was Miss +Tweddle's, and she would claim it in her name. + +She easily obtained permission to leave somewhat earlier that evening, +as she did not often ask such favours, and soon found herself at Madame +Chenille's establishment, where she remembered to have heard from Bella +that her sister was employed. + +She asked for the forewoman, and begged to be allowed to speak to Miss +Parkinson in private for a very few minutes; but the forewoman referred +her to the proprietress, who made objections: such a thing was never +permitted during business hours, the shop would close in an hour, till +then Miss Parkinson was engaged in the showroom, and so on. + +But Matilda carried her point at last, and was shown to a room in the +basement, where the assistants took their meals, there to wait until +Miss Parkinson could be spared from her duties. + +Matilda waited in the low, dingy room, where the tea-things were still +littering the table, and as she paced restlessly about, trying to feel +an interest in the long-discarded fashion-plates which adorned the +walls, her anger began to cool, and give place to something very like +nervousness. + +She wished she had not come. What, after all, was she to say to this +girl when they met? And what was Leander--base and unworthy as he had +shown himself--to her any longer? Why should she care what he chose to +do with the ring? And he would be told of her visit, and think----No! +that was intolerable: she would not gratify his vanity and humble +herself in this way. She would slip quietly out, and leave her rival to +enjoy her victory! + +But, just as she was going to carry out this intention, the door opened, +and a short, dark young woman appeared. "I'm told there was a young +person asking to speak to me," she said; "I'm Ada Parkinson." + +At the name, Matilda's heart swelled again with the sense of her +injuries; and yet she was unprepared for the face that met her eyes. +Surely her rival had both looked and spoken differently the night +before? And yet, she had been so agitated that very likely her +recollections were not to be depended upon. + +"I--I did want to see you," she said, and her voice shook, as much from +timidity as righteous indignation. "When I tell you who I am, perhaps +you will guess why. I am Matilda Collum." + +Miss Parkinson showed no symptoms of remorse. "What!" she cried, "the +young lady that Mr. Tweddle is courting? Fancy!" + +"After what happened last night," said Matilda, trembling exceedingly, +"you know that that is all over. I didn't come to talk about that. If +you knew--and I think you must have known--all that Mr. Tweddle was to +me, you have--you have not behaved very well; but he is nothing to me +any more, and it is not worth while to be angry. Only, I don't think you +ought to keep the ring--not _that_ ring!" + +"Goodness gracious me!" cried Ada. "What in the world is all this about? +What ring oughtn't I to keep?" + +"You know!" retorted Matilda. "How can you pretend like that? The ring +he gave you that night at Rosherwich!" + +"The girl's mad!" exclaimed the other. "He never gave me a ring in all +his life! I wouldn't have taken it, if he'd asked me ever so. Mr. +Tweddle indeed!" + +"Why do you say that?" said Matilda. "He has not got it himself, and +your sister said he gave it to you, and--and I saw it with my own eyes +on your hand!" + +"Oh, _dear_ me!" said Ada, petulantly, holding out her hand, "look +there--is that it?--is this? Well, these are all that I have, whether +you believe me or not; one belonged to my poor mother, and the other was +a present, only last Friday, from the gentleman that's their head +traveller, next door, and is going to be my husband. Is it likely that +I should be wearing any other now?--ask yourself!" + +"You wouldn't wish to deceive me, I hope," said Matilda; "and oh, Miss +Parkinson, you might be open with me, for I'm so very miserable! I don't +know what to think. Tell me just this: did you--wasn't it you who came +last night to Miss Tweddle's?" + +"No!" returned Ada, impatiently--"no, as many times as you please! And +if Bella likes to say I did, she may; and she always was a +mischief-making thing! How could I, when I didn't know there was any +Miss Tweddle to come to? And what do you suppose I should go running +about after Mr. Tweddle for? I wonder you're not ashamed to say such +things!" + +"But," faltered Matilda, "you did go to those gardens with him, didn't +you? And--and I know he gave the ring to somebody!" + +Ada began to laugh. "You're quite correct, Miss Collum," she said; "so +he did. Don't you want to know who he gave it to?" + +"Yes," said Matilda, "and you will tell me. I have a right to be told. I +was engaged to him, and the ring was given to him for me--not for any +one else. You _will_ tell me, Miss Parkinson, I am sure you will?" + +"Well," said Ada, still laughing, "I'll tell you this much--she's a +foreign lady, very stiff and stuck-up and cold. She's got it, if any one +has. I saw him put it on myself!" + +"Tell me her name, if you know it." + +"I see you won't be easy till you know all about it. Her name's +Afriddity, or Froddity, or something outlandish like that. She lives at +Rosherwich, a good deal in the open air, and--there, don't be +ridiculous--it's only a _statue_! There's a pretty thing to be jealous +of!" + +"Only a statue!" echoed Matilda. "Oh! Heaven be with us both, if--if +that was It!" + +Certain sentences in the letter she had returned came to her mind with a +new and dreadful significance. The appearance of the visitor last +night--Leander's terror--all seemed to point to some unsuspected +mystery. + +"It can't be--no, it can't! Miss Parkinson, you were there: tell me all +that happened, quick! You don't know what may depend on it!" + +"What! not satisfied even now?" cried Ada. "_Well_, Miss Collum, talk +about jealousy! But, there, I'll tell you all I know myself." + +And she gave the whole account of the episode with the statue, so far as +she knew it, even to the conversation which led to the production of the +ring. + +"You see," she concluded, "that it was all on your account that he tried +it on at all, and I'm sure he talked enough about you all the evening. I +really was a little surprised when I found _you_ were his Miss Collum. +(You won't mind my saying so?) If I was you, I should go and tell him I +forgave him, now. I do think he deserves it, poor little man!" + +"Yes, yes!" cried Matilda; "I'll go--I'll go at once! Thank you, Miss +Parkinson, for telling me what you have!" And then, as she remembered +some dark hints in Leander's letter: "Oh, I must make haste! He may be +going to do something desperate--he may have done it already!" + +And, leaving Miss Parkinson to speculate as she pleased concerning her +eccentricity, she went out into the broad street again; and, +unaccustomed as she was to such expenditure, hailed a hansom; for there +was no time to be lost. + +She had told the man to drive to the Southampton Row Passage at first, +but, as she drew nearer, she changed her purpose; she did not like to go +alone, for who knew what she might see there? It was out of the question +to expect her mother to accompany her, but her friend and landlady would +not refuse to do so; and she drove to Millman Street, and prevailed on +Miss Tweddle to come with her without a moment's delay. + +The two women found the shop dark, but unshuttered; there was a light in +the upper room. "You stay down here, please," said Matilda; "if--if +anything is wrong, I will call you." And Miss Tweddle, without very well +understanding what it was all about, and feeling fluttered and out of +breath, was willing enough to sit down in the saloon and recover +herself. + +And so it came to pass that Matilda burst into the room just as the +hairdresser was preparing to pronounce the inevitable words that would +complete the goddess's power. He stood there, pale and dishevelled, with +eyes that were wild and bordered with red. Opposite to him was the being +she had once mistaken for a fellow-creature. + +Too well she saw now that the tall and queenly form, with the fixed eyes +and cold tinted mask, was inspired by nothing human; and her heart died +within her as she gazed, spellbound, upon her formidable rival. + +"Leander," she murmured, supporting herself against the frame of the +door, "what are you going to do?" + +"Keep back, Matilda!" he cried desperately; "go away--it's too late +now!" + +A moment before, and, deserted as he believed himself to be by love and +fortune alike, he had been almost resigned to the strange and shadowy +future which lay before him; but now--now that he saw Matilda there in +his room, no longer scornful or indifferent, but pale and concerned, her +pretty grey eyes dark and wide with anguish and fear for him--he felt +all he was giving up; he had a sudden revulsion, a violent repugnance to +his doom. + +She loved him still! She had repented for some reason. Oh! why had she +not done so before? What could he do now? For her own sake he must steel +himself to tell her to leave him to his fate; for he knew well that if +the goddess were to discover Matilda's real relations to him, it might +cost his innocent darling her life! + +For the moment he rose above his ordinary level. He lost all thought of +self. Let Aphrodite take him if she would, but Matilda must be saved. +"Go away!" he repeated; and his voice was cracked and harsh, under the +strain of doing such violence to his feelings. "Can't you see +you're--you're not wanted? Oh, do go away--while you can!" + +Matilda closed the door behind her. "Do you think," she said, catching +her breath painfully, "that I shall go away and leave you with That!" + +"Leander," said the statue, "command your sister to depart!" + +"I'm _not_ his"--Matilda was beginning impetuously, till the hairdresser +stopped her. + +"You _are_!" he cried. "You know you're my sister--you've forgotten it, +that's all.... Don't say a syllable now, do you hear me? She's going, +Lady Venus, going directly!" + +"Indeed I'm not," said Matilda, bravely. + +"Leave us, maiden!" said the statue. "Your brother is yours no longer, +he is mine. Know you who it is that commands? Tremble then, nor oppose +the will of Aphrodite of the radiant eyes!" + +"I never heard of you before," said Matilda, "but I'm not afraid of you. +And, whoever or whatever you are, you shall not take my Leander away +against his will. Do you hear? You could never be allowed to do that!" + +The statue smiled with pitying scorn. "His own act has given me the +power I hold," she said, "and assuredly he shall not escape me!" + +"Listen," pleaded Matilda; "perhaps you are not really wicked, it is +only that you don't know! The ring he put--without ever thinking what he +was doing--on your finger was meant for mine. It was, really! He is my +lover; give him back to me!" + +"Matilda!" shrieked the wretched man, "you don't know what you're doing. +Run away, quick! Do as I tell you!" + +"So," said the goddess, turning upon him, "in this, too, you have tried +to deceive me! You have loved--you still love this maiden!" + +"Oh, not in that way!" he shouted, overcome by his terror for Matilda. +"There's some mistake. You mustn't pay any attention to what she says: +she's excited. All my sisters get like that when they're excited--they'd +say _any_thing!" + +"Silence!" commanded the statue. "Should not I have skill to read the +signs of love? This girl loves you with no sister's love. Deny it not!" + +Leander felt that his position was becoming untenable; he could only +save Matilda by a partial abandonment. "Well, suppose she does," he +said, "I'm not obliged to return it, am I?" + +Matilda shrank back. "Oh, Leander!" she cried, with a piteous little +moan. + +"You've brought it on yourself!" he said; "you will come here +interfering!" + +"Interfering!" she repeated wildly, "you call it that! How can I help +myself? Am I to stand by and see you giving yourself up to, nobody can +tell what? As long as I have strength to move and breath to speak I +shall stay here, and beg and pray of you not to be so foolish and wicked +as to go away with her! How do you know where she will take you to?" + +"Cease this railing!" said the statue. "Leander loves you not! Away, +then, before I lay you dead at my feet!" + +"Leander," cried the poor girl, "tell me: it isn't true what she says? +You didn't mean it! you _do_ love me! You don't really want me to go +away?" + +For her own sake he must be cruel; but he could scarcely speak the words +that were to drive her from his side for ever. "This--this lady," he +said, "speaks quite correct. I--I'd very much rather you went!" + +She drew a deep sobbing breath. "I don't care for anything any more!" +she said, and faced the statue defiantly. "You say you can strike me +dead," she said: "I'm sure I hope you can! And the sooner the +better--for I will not leave this room!" + +The dreamy smile still curved the statue's lips, in terrible contrast to +the inflexible purpose of her next words. + +"You have called down your own destruction," she said, "and death shall +be yours!" + +"Stop a bit," cried Leander, "mind what you're doing! Do you think I'll +go with you if you touch a single hair of my poor Tillie's head? Why, +I'd sooner stay in prison all my life! See here," and he put his arm +round Matilda's slight form; "if you crush her, you crush me--so now!" + +"And if so," said the goddess, with cruel contempt, "are you of such +value in my sight that I should stay my hand? You, whom I have sought +but to manifest my power, for no softer feelings have you ever +inspired! And now, having withstood me for so long, you turn, even at +the moment of yielding, to yonder creature! And it is enough. I will +contend no longer for so mean a prize! Slave and fool that you have +shown yourself, Aphrodite rejects you in disdain!" + +Leander made no secret of his satisfaction at this. "Now you talk +sense!" he cried. "I always told you we weren't suited. Tillie, do you +hear? She gives me up! She gives me up!" + +"Aye," she continued, "I need you not. Upon you and the maiden by your +side I invoke a speedy and terrible destruction, which, ere you can +attempt to flee, shall surely overtake you!" + +Leander was so overcome by this highly unexpected sentence that he lost +all control over his limbs; he could only stand where he was, supporting +Matilda, and stare at the goddess in fascinated dismay. + +The goddess was raising both hands, palm upwards, to the ceiling, and +presently she began to chant in a thrilling monotone: "Hear, O Zeus, +that sittest on high, delighting in the thunder, hear the prayer of thy +daughter, Aphrodite the peerless, as she calleth upon thee, nor suffer +her to be set at nought with impunity! Rise now, I beseech thee, and +hurl with thine unerring hand a blazing bolt that shall consume these +presumptuous insects to a smoking cinder! Blast them, Sire, with the +fire-wreaths of thy lightning! blast, and spare not!" + +"Kiss me, Tillie, and shut your eyes," said Leander; "it's coming!" + +She was nestling close against him, and could not repress a faint +shivering moan. "I don't mind, now we're together," she whispered, "if +only it won't hurt much!" + +The prayer uttered with such deadly intensity had almost ceased to +vibrate in their ears, but still the answer tarried; it tarried so long +that Leander lost patience, and ventured to open his eyes a little way. +He saw the goddess standing there, with a strained expectation on her +upturned face. + +"I don't wish to hurry you, mum," he said tremulously; "but you ought to +be above torturing us. Might I ask you to request your--your relation to +look sharp with that thunderbolt?" + +"Zeus!" cried the goddess, and her accent was more acute, "thou hast +heard--thou wilt not shame me thus! Must I go unavenged?" + +Still nothing whatever happened, until at last even Matilda unclosed her +eyes. "Leander!" she cried, with a hysterical little laugh, "_I don't +believe she can do it!_" + +[Illustration: "LEANDER!" SHE CRIED, ... "I DON'T BELIEVE SHE CAN DO +IT!"] + +"No more don't I!" said the hairdresser, withdrawing his arm, and coming +forward boldly. "Now look here, Lady Venus," he remarked, "it's time +there was an end of this, one way or the other; we can't be kept up here +all night, waiting till it suits your Mr. Zooce to make cockshies of us. +Either let him do it now, or let it alone!" + +The statue's face seemed to be illumined by a stronger light. "Zeus, I +thank thee!" she exclaimed, clasping her pale hands above her head; "I +am answered! I am answered!" + +And, as she spoke, a dull ominous rumble was heard in the distance. + +"Matilda, here!" cried the terrified hairdresser, running back to his +betrothed; "keep close to me. It's all over this time!" + +The rumble increased to a roll, which became a clanking rattle, and +then lessened again to a roll, died away to the original rumble, and was +heard no more. + +Leander breathed again. "To think of my being taken in like that!" he +cried. "Why, it's only a van out in the street! It's no good, mum; you +can't work it: you'd better give it up!" + +The goddess seemed to feel this herself, for she was wringing her hands +with a low wail of despair. "Is there none to hear?" she lamented. "Are +they all gone--all? Then is Aphrodite fallen indeed; deserted of the +gods, her kinsmen; forgotten of mortals; braved and mocked by such as +these! Woe! woe! for Olympus in ruins, and Time the dethroner of +deities!" + +Leander would hardly have been himself if he had forborne to take +advantage of her discomfiture. "You see, mum," he said, "you're not +everybody. You mustn't expect to have everything your own way down here. +We're in the nineteenth century nowadays, mum, and there's another +religion come in since you were the fashion!" + +"_Don't_, Leander!" said Matilda, in an undertone; "let her alone, the +poor thing!" + +She seemed to have quite forgotten that her fallen enemy had been +dooming her to destruction the moment before; but there was something so +tragic and moving in the sight of such despair that no true woman could +be indifferent to it. + +Either the taunt or the compassion, however, roused the goddess to a +frenzy of passion. "Hold your peace!" she said fiercely, and strode down +upon Leander until he beat an instinctive retreat. "Fallen as I am, I +will not brook your mean vauntings or insolent pity! Shorn I may be of +my ancient power, but something of my divinity clings to me still. +Vengeance is not wholly denied to me! Why should I not deal with you +even as with those profane wretches who laid impious hands upon this my +effigy? Why? why?" + +Leander began to feel uncomfortable again. "If I've said anything you +object to," he said hastily, "I'll apologise. I will--and so will +Matilda--freely and full; in writing, if that will satisfy you!" + +"Tremble not for your worthless bodies," she said; "had you been slain, +as I purposed, you would but have escaped me, after all! Now a vengeance +keener and more enduring shall be mine! In your gross blindness, you +have dared to turn from divine Aphrodite to such a thing as this, and +for your impiety you shall suffer! This is your doom, and so much at +least I can still accomplish: Long as you both may live, strong as your +love may endure, never again shall you see her alone, never more shall +she be folded to your breast! For ever, I will stand a barrier between +you: so shall your days consume away in the torturing desire for a +felicity you may never attain!" + +"It seems to me, Tillie," said Leander, looking round at her with hollow +eyes, "that we may as well give up keeping company together, after +that!" + +Matilda had been weeping quietly. "Oh no, Leander, not that! Don't let +us give each other up: we may--we may get used to it!" + +"That is not all," said the revengeful goddess. "I understand but little +of the ways of this degenerate age. But one thing I know: this very +night, guards are on their way to search this abode for the image in +which I have chosen to reveal myself; and, should they find that they +are in search of, you will be dragged to some dungeon, and suffer +deserved ignominy. It pleased me yesternight to shield you: to-night, +be very sure that this marble form shall not escape their vigilance!" + +He felt at once that this, at least, was no idle threat. The police +might arrive at any instant; she had only to vacate the marble at the +moment of their entry--and what could he do? How could he explain its +presence? The gates of Portland or Dartmoor were already yawning to +receive him! Was it too late, even then, to retrieve the situation? "If +it wasn't for Tillie, I could see my way to something, even now," he +thought. "I can but try!" + +"Lady Venus," he began, clearing his throat, "it's not my desire to be +the architect of any mutual unpleasantness--anything but! I don't see +any use in denying that you've got the best of it. I'm done--reg'lar +bowled over; and if ever there was a poor devil of a toad under a +harrer, I've no hesitation in admitting that toad's me! So the only +point I should like to submit for your consideration is this: Have +things gone too far? Are you quite sure you won't be spiting yourself as +well as me over this business? Can't we come to an amicable arrangement? +Think it over!" + +"Leander, you can't mean it!" cried Matilda. + +"You leave me alone," he said hoarsely; "I know what I'm saying!" + +Whether the goddess had overstated her indifference, or whether she may +have seen a prospect of some still subtler revenge, she certainly did +not receive this proposition of Leander's with the contumely that might +have been expected; on the contrary, she smiled with a triumphant +satisfaction that betrayed a disposition to treat. + +"Have my words been fulfilled, then?" she asked. "Is your insolent pride +humbled at last? and do you sue to me for the very favours you so long +have spurned?" + +"You can put it that way if you like," he said doggedly. "If you want +me, you'd better say so while there's time, that's all!" + +"Little have you merited such leniency," she said; "and yet, it is to +you I owe my return to life and consciousness. Shall I abandon what I +have taken such pains to win? No! I accept your submission. Speak, then, +the words of surrender, and let us depart together!" + +"Before I do that," he said firmly, "there's one point I must have +settled to my satisfaction." + +"You can bargain still!" she exclaimed haughtily. "Are all barbers like +you? If your point concerns the safety of this maiden, be at ease; she +shall go unharmed, for she is my rival no longer!" + +"Well, it wasn't that exactly," he explained; "but I'm doubtful about +that ring being the genuine article, and I want to make sure." + +"But a short time since, and you were willing to trust all to me!" + +"I was; but, if I may take the liberty of observing so, things were +different then. You were wrong about that thunderbolt--you may be wrong +about the ring!" + +"Fool!" she said, "how know you that the quality of the token concerns +my power? Were it even of unworthy metal, has it not brought me hither?" + +"Yes," he said, "but it mightn't be strong enough to pass _me_ the whole +distance, and where should I be then? It don't look more to me than 15 +carat, and I daren't run any extra risk." + +"How, then, can your doubts be set at rest?" she demanded. + +"Easy," he replied: "there are men who understand these things. All I +ask of you is to step over with me, and see one of them, and take his +opinion; and if he says it's gold--why, then I shall know where I am!" + +"Aphrodite submit her claims to the judgment of a mortal!" she cried. +"Never will I thus debase myself!" + +"Very well," he said, "then we must stay where we are. All I can say is, +I've made you a fair offer." + +She paused. "Why not?" she said dreamily, as if thinking aloud. "Have +not I sued ere this for the decision of a shepherd judge--even of Paris? +'Tis but one last indignity, and then--he is mine indeed! Leander," she +added graciously, "it shall be as you will. Lead the way; I follow!" + +But Matilda, who had been listening to this compromise with incredulous +horror, clung in desperation to her lover's arm, and sought to impede +his flight. "Leander!" she cried, "oh, Leander! surely you won't be mad +enough to go away with her! You won't be so wicked and sinful as that! +Remember who she is: one of the false gods of the poor benighted +heathens--she owned it herself! She's nothing less than a live idol! +Think of all the times we've been to chapel together; think of your dear +aunt, and how she'll feel your being in such awful company! Let the +police come, and think what they like: we'll tell them the truth, and +make them believe it. Only be brave, and stay here with me; don't let +her ensnare you! Have some pity for me; for, if you leave me, I shall +die!" + +"Already the guards are at your gates," said the statue; "choose +quickly--while you may!" + +He put Matilda gently from him: "Tillie," he said, with a convulsive +effort to remain calm, "you gave me up of your own free will--you know +that--and now you've come round too late. The other lady spoke first!" + +As she still clung to him, he tried to whisper some last words of a +consoling or reassuring nature, and she suddenly relaxed her grasp, and +allowed him to make his escape without further dissuasion--not that his +arguments had reconciled her to his departure, but because she was +mercifully unaware of it. + + + + +THE ODD TRICK + +XV. + + "O heart of stone, are you flesh, and caught + By that you swore to withstand?" + + _Maud._ + + +Outside on the stairs Leander suddenly remembered that his purpose +might be as far as ever from being accomplished. The house was being +watched: to be seen leaving it would procure his instant arrest. + +Hastily excusing himself to the goddess, he rushed down to his +laboratory, where he knew there was a magnificent beard and moustache +which he had been constructing for some amateur theatricals. With these, +and a soft felt hat, he completed a disguise in which he flattered +himself he was unrecognisable. + +The goddess, however, penetrated it as soon as he rejoined her. "Why +have you thus transformed yourself?" she inquired coldly. + +"Because," explained Leander, "seeing the police are all on the look-out +for me, I thought it couldn't do any harm." + +"It is useless!" she returned. + +"To be sure," he agreed blankly, "they'll expect me to go out disguised. +If only they aren't up to the way out by the back! That's our only +chance now." + +"Leave all to me," she replied calmly; "with Aphrodite you are safe." + +And he never did quite understand how that strange elopement was +effected, or even remember whether they left the house from the front or +rear. The statue glided swiftly on, and, grasping a corner of her robe, +he followed, with only the vaguest sense of obstacles overcome and +passed as in a dream. + +By the time he had completely regained his senses he was in a crowded +thoroughfare, which he recognised as the Gray's Inn Road. + +A certain scheme from which, desperate as it was, he hoped much, might +be executed as well here as elsewhere, and he looked about him for the +aid on which he counted. + +"Where, then, lives the wise man whom you would consult?" said +Aphrodite. + +Leander went on until he could see the coloured lights of a chemist's +window, and then he said, "There--right opposite!" + +He felt strangely nervous himself, but the goddess seemed even more so. +She hung back all at once, and clutched his arm in her marble grasp. + +"Leander," she said, "I will not go! See those liquid fires glowing in +lurid hues, like the eyes of some dread monster! This test of yours is +needless, and I fear it." + +"Lady Venus," he said earnestly, "I do assure you they're only big +bottles, and quite harmless too, having water in them, not physic. +You've no call to be alarmed." + +She yielded, and they crossed the road. The shop was small and +unpretending. In the window the chief ornaments were speckled plaster +limbs clad in elastic socks, and photographs of hideous complaints +before and after treatment with a celebrated ointment; and there were +certain trophies which indicated that the chemist numbered dentistry +among his accomplishments. + +Inside, the odour of drugs prevailed, in the absence of the subtle +perfume that is part of the fittings of a fashionable apothecary, and on +the very threshold the goddess paused irresolute. + +"There is magic in the air," she exclaimed, "and fearful poisons. This +man is some enchanter!" + +"Now I put it to you," said Leander, with some impatience, "does he +_look_ it?" + +The chemist was a mild little man, with a high forehead, round +spectacles, a little red beak of a nose, and a weak grey beard. As they +entered, he was addressing a small and draggled child from behind his +counter. "Go back and tell your mother," he said, "that she must come +herself. I never sell paregoric to children." + +There was so little of the wizard in his manner that the goddess, who +possibly had some reason to mistrust a mortal magician, was reassured. + +As the child retired, the chemist turned to them with a look of bland +and dignified inquiry (something, perhaps the consciousness of having +once passed an examination, sustains the meekest chemist in an inward +superiority). He did not speak. + +Leander took it upon himself to explain. "This lady would be glad to be +told whether a ring she's got on is the real article or only imitation," +he said, "so she thought you could decide it for her." + +"Not so," corrected the goddess, austerely. "For myself I care not!" + +"Have it your own way!" said Leander. "_I_ should like to be told, then. +I suppose, mister, you've some way of testing these things?" + +"Oh yes," said the chemist; "I can treat it for you with what we call +_aquafortis_, a combination of nitric and hydrochloric acid, which would +tell us at once. I ought to mention, perhaps, that so extremely powerful +an agent may injure the appearance of the metal if it is of inferior +quality. Will the lady oblige me with the ring?" + +Aphrodite extended her hand with haughty indifference. The chemist +examined the ring as it circled her finger, and Leander held his breath +in tortures of anxiety. A horrible fear came over him that his deep-laid +scheme was about to end in failure. + +But the chemist remarked at last: "Exactly; thank you, madam. The gold +is antique, certainly; but I should be inclined to pronounce it, at +first sight, genuine. I will ascertain how this is, if you will take the +trouble to remove the ring and pass it over!" + +"Why?" demanded Aphrodite, obstinately. + +"I could not undertake to treat it while it remains upon your hand," he +protested. "The acid might do some injury!" + +"It matters not!" she said calmly; and Leander recollected with horror +that, as any injury to her statue would have no physical effect upon the +goddess herself, she could not be much influenced by the chemist's +reason. + +"Do what the gentleman tells you," he said, in an eager whisper, as he +drew her aside. + +"I know your wiles, O perfidious one," she said. "Having induced me to +remove this token, you would seize it yourself, and take to flight! I +will not remove this ring!" + +"There's a thing to say!" said Leander; "there's a suspicion to throw +against a man! If you think I'm likely to do that, I'll go right over +here, where I can't even see it, and I won't stir out till it's all +over. Will that satisfy you? You know why I'm so anxious about that +ring; and now, when the gentleman tells you he's almost sure it's +gold----" + +"It _is_ gold!" said the goddess. + +"If you're so sure about it," he retaliated, "why are you afraid to have +it proved?" + +"I am not afraid," she said; "but I require no proof!" + +"I do," he retorted, "and what I told you before I stand to. If that +ring is proved--in the only way it can be proved, I mean, by this +gentleman testing it as he tells you he can--then there's no more to be +said, and I'll go away with you like a lamb. But without that proof I +won't stir a step, and so I tell you. It won't take a moment. You can +see for yourself that I couldn't possibly catch up the ring from here!" + +"Swear to me," she said, "that you will remain where you now stand; and +remember," she added, with an accent of triumph, "our compact is that, +should yonder man pronounce that the ring has passed through the test +with honour, you will follow me whithersoever I bid you!" + +"You have only to lead the way," he said, "and I promise you faithfully +I'll follow." + +Goddesses may be credited with some knowledge of the precious metals, +and Aphrodite had no doubt of the result of the chemist's +investigations. So it was with an air of serene anticipation that she +left Leander upon this, and advanced to the chemist's counter. + +"Prove it now," she said, "quickly, that I may go!" + +The chemist, who had been waiting in considerable bewilderment, prepared +himself to receive the ring, and Leander, keeping his distance, felt his +heart beating fast as Aphrodite slowly drew the token from her finger, +and placed it in the chemist's outstretched hand. + +Scarcely had she done so, as the chemist was retiring with the ring to +one of his lamps, before the goddess seemed suddenly aware that she had +committed a fatal error. + +She made a stride forward to follow and recover it; but, as if some +unseen force was restraining her, she stopped short, and a rush of +whirling words, in some tongue unknown both to Leander and the chemist, +forced its way through lips that smiled still, though they were freezing +fast. + +Then, with a strange hoarse cry of baffled desire and revenge, she +succeeded, by a violent effort, in turning, and bore down with +tremendous force upon the cowering hairdresser, who gave himself up at +once for lost. + +But the marble was already incapable of obeying her will. Within a few +paces from him the statue stopped for the last time, with an abruptness +that left it quivering and rocking. A greyish hue came over the face, +causing the borrowed tints to stand forth, crude and glaring; the arms +waved wildly and impotently once or twice, and then grew still for ever, +in the attitude conceived long since by the Grecian sculptor! + +Leander was free! His hazardous experiment had succeeded. As it was the +ring which had brought the passionate, imperious goddess into her marble +counterfeit, so--the ring once withdrawn--her power was instantly at an +end, and the spell which had enabled her to assume a form of stone was +broken. + +He had hoped for this, had counted upon it, but even yet hardly dared to +believe in his deliverance. + +He had not done with it yet, however; for he would have to get the +statue out of that shop, and abandon it in some manner which would not +compromise himself, and it is by no means an easy matter to mislay a +life-size and invaluable antique without attracting an inconvenient +amount of attention. + +The chemist, who had been staring meanwhile in blank astonishment, now +looked inquiringly at Leander, who looked helplessly at him. + +At last the latter, unable to be silent any longer, said, "The lady +seems unwell, sir." + +"Why," Leander admitted, "she does appear a little out of sorts." + +"Has she had these attacks before, do you happen to know?" + +"She's more often like this than not," said Leander. + +"Dear me, sir; but that's very serious. Is there nothing that gives +relief?--a little sal volatile, now? Does the lady carry smelling salts? +If not, I could----" And the chemist made an offer to come from behind +his counter to examine the strange patient. + +"No," said Leander, hastily. "Don't you trouble--you leave her to me. I +know how to manage her. When she's rigid like this, she can't bear to be +taken notice of." + +He was wondering all the time how he was to get away with her, until the +chemist, who seemed at least as anxious for her departure, suggested the +answer: "I should imagine the poor lady would be best at home. Shall I +send out for a cab?" he asked. + +"Yes," said Leander, gratefully; "bring a hansom. She'll come round +better in the open air;" for he had his doubts whether the statue could +be stowed inside a four-wheeler. + +"I'll go myself," said the obliging man; "my assistant's out. Perhaps +the lady will sit down till the cab comes?" + +"Thanks," said Leander; "but when she's like this, she's been +recommended to stand." + +The chemist ran out bare-headed, to return presently with a cab and a +small train of interested observers. He offered the statue his arm to +the cab-door, an attention which was naturally ignored. + +"We shall have to carry her there," said Leander. + +"Why, bless me, sir," said the chemist, as he helped to lift her, +"she--she's surprisingly heavy!" + +"Yes," gasped Leander, over her unconscious shoulder; "when she goes off +in one of these sleeps, she does sleep very heavy"--an explanation +which, if obscure, was accepted by the other as part of the general +strangeness of the case. + +On the threshold the chemist stopped again. "I'd almost forgotten the +ring," he said. + +"_I'll_ take that!" said Leander. + +"Excuse me," was the objection, "but I was to give it back to the lady +herself. Had I not better put it on her finger, don't you think?" + +"Are you a married man?" asked Leander, grimly. + +"Yes," said the chemist. + +"Then, if you'll take my advice, I wouldn't if I was you--if you're at +all anxious to keep out of trouble. You'd better give the ring to me, +and I give you my word of honour as a gentleman that I'll give it back +to her as soon as ever she's well enough to ask for it." + +The other adopted the advice, and, amidst the sympathy of the +bystanders, they got the statue into the cab. + +"Where to?" asked the man through the trap. + +"Charing Cross," said Leander, at random; he ought the drive would give +him time for reflection. + +"The 'orspital, eh?" said the cabman, and drove off, leaving the mild +chemist to stare open-mouthed on the pavement for a moment, and go back +to his shop with a growing sense that he had had a very unusual +experience. + +Now that Leander was alone in the cab with the statue, whose attitude +required space, and cramped him uncomfortably, he wondered more and more +what he was to do with it. He could not afford to drive about London for +ever with her; he dared not take her home; and he was afraid of being +seen with her! + +All at once he seemed to see a way out of his difficulty. His first step +was to do what he could, in the constantly varying light, to reduce the +statue to its normal state. He removed the curls which had disfigured +her classical brow, and, with his pocket-handkerchief, rubbed most of +the colour from her face; then the cloak had only to be torn off, and +all that could betray him was gone. + +Near Charing Cross, Leander told the driver to take him down Parliament +Street, and stop at the entrance to Scotland Yard; there the cabman, at +Leander's request, descended, and stared to find him huddled up under +the gleaming pale arms of a statue. + +"Guv'nor," he remarked, "that warn't the fare I took up, I'll take my +dying oath!" + +"It's all right," said Leander. "Now, I tell you what I want you to do: +go straight in through the archway, find a policeman, and say there's a +gentleman in your cab that's found a valuable article that's been +missing, and wants assistance in bringing it in. I'll take care of the +cab, and here's double fare for your trouble." + +"And wuth it, too," was the cabman's comment, as he departed on his +mission. "I thought it was the devil I was a drivin', we was that down +on the orfside!" + +It was no part of Leander's programme to wait for his return; he threw +the cloak over his arm, pocketed his beard, and slipped out of the cab +and across the road to a spot whence he could watch unseen. And when he +had seen the cabman come with two constables, he felt assured that his +burden was in safe hands at last, and returned to Southampton Row as +quickly as the next hansom he hailed could take him. + +He entered his house by the back entrance: it was unguarded; and +although he listened long at the foot of the stairs, he heard nothing. +Had the Inspector not come yet, or was there a trap? As he went on, he +fancied there were sounds in his sitting-room, and went up to the door +and listened nervously before entering in. + +"Oh, Miss Collum, my poor dear!" a tremulous voice, which he recognised +as his aunt's, was saying, "for Mercy's sake, don't lie there like that! +She's dying!--and it's my fault for letting her come here!--and what am +I to say to her ma?" + +Leander had heard enough; he burst in, with a white, horror-stricken +face. Yes, it was too true! Matilda was lying back in his crazy +armchair, her eyes fast closed, her lips parted. + +"Aunt," he said with difficulty, "she's not--not _dead_?" + +"If she is not," returned his aunt, "it's no thanks to you, Leandy +Tweddle! Go away; you can do no good to her now!" + +"Not till I've heard her speak," cried Tweddle. "Tillie, don't you +hear?--it's me!" + +To his immense relief, she opened her eyes at the sound of his voice, +and turned away with a feeble gesture of fear and avoidance. "You have +come back!" she moaned, "and with her! Oh, keep her away!... I can't +bear it all over again!... I can't!" + +He threw himself down by her chair, and drew down the hands in which she +had hidden her face. "Matilda, my poor, hardly-used darling!" he said, +"I've come back _alone_! I've got rid of her, Tillie! I'm free; and +there's no one to stand between us any more!" + +[Illustration: HE THREW HIMSELF DOWN BY HER CHAIR, AND DREW DOWN THE +HANDS IN WHICH SHE HAD HIDDEN HER FACE.] + +She pushed back her disordered fair hair, and looked at him with sweet, +troubled eyes. "But you went away with her--for ever?" she said. "You +said you didn't love me any longer. I heard you ... it was just +before----" and she shuddered at the recollection. + +"I know," said Leander, soothingly. "I was obligated to speak harsh, to +deceive the--the other party, Tillie. I tried to tell you, quiet-like, +that you wasn't to mind; but you wouldn't take no notice. But there, we +won't talk about it any more, so long as you forgive me; and you do, +don't you?" + +She hid her face against his shoulder, in answer, from which he drew a +favourable conclusion; but Miss Tweddle was not so easily pacified. + +"And is this all the explanation you're going to give," she demanded, +"for treating this poor child the way you've done, and neglecting her +shameful like this? If she's satisfied, Leandy, I'm not." + +"I can't help it, aunt," he said. "I've been true to Tillie all the way +through, in spite of all appearances to the contrary--as she knows now. +And the more I explained, the less you'd understand about it; so we'll +leave things where they are. But I've got back the ring, and now you +shall see me put it on her finger." + + * * * * * + +It seemed that Leander had driven to Scotland Yard just in time to save +himself, for the Inspector did not make his threatened search that +evening. + +Two or three days later, however, to Leander's secret alarm, he entered +the shop. After all, he felt, it was hopeless to think of deceiving +these sleuth-hounds of the Law: this detective had been making +inquiries, and identified him as the man who had shared the hansom with +that statue! + +His knees trembled as he stood behind his glass-topped counter. "Come to +make the search, sir?" he said, as cheerfully as he could. "You'll find +us ready for you." + +"Well," said Inspector Bilbow, with a queer mixture of awkwardness and +complacency, "no, not exactly. Tweddle, my good fellow, circumstances +have recently assumed a shape that renders a search unnecessary, as +perhaps you are aware?" + +He looked very hard at Tweddle as he spoke, and the hairdresser felt +that this was a crucial moment--the detective was still uncertain +whether he had been mixed up with the affair or not. Leander's faculty +of ready wit served him better here than on past occasions. + +"Aware? No, sir!" he said, with admirable simplicity. "Then that's why +you didn't come the other evening! I sat up for you, sir; all night I +sat up." + +"The fact of the matter is, Tweddle," said Bilbow, who had become +suddenly affable and condescending, "I found myself reduced, so to +speak, to make use of you as a false clue, if you catch my meaning?" + +"I can't say I do quite understand, sir." + +"I mean--of course, I saw with half an eye, bless your soul, that you'd +had nothing to do with it--it wasn't likely that a poor chap like you +had any knowledge of a big plant of that description. No, no; don't you +go away with that idea. I never associated you with it for a single +instant." + +"I'm truly glad to hear it, Mr. Inspector," said Leander. + +"It was owing to the line I took up. There were the real parties to put +off their guard, and to do that, Tweddle--to do that, it was necessary +to appear to suspect you. D'ye see?" + +"I think it was a little hard on me, sir," he said; "for being suspected +like that hurts a man's feelings, sir. I did feel wounded to have that +cast up against me!" + +"Well, well," said the Inspector, "we'll go into that later. But, to go +on with what I was saying. My tactics, Tweddle, have been crowned with +success--the famous Venus is now safe in my hands! What do you say to +that?" + +"Say? Why, what clever gentlemen you detective officers are, to be +sure!" cried Leander. + +"Well, to be candid, there's not many in the Department that would have +managed the job as neatly; but, then, it was a case I'd gone into, and +thoroughly got up." + +"That I'm sure you must have done, sir," agreed Leander. "How ever did +you come on it?" He felt a kind of curiosity to hear the answer. + +"Tweddle," was the solemn reply, "that is a thing you must be content to +leave in its native mystery" (which Leander undoubtedly was). "We in the +Criminal Investigation Department have our secret channels and our +underground sources for obtaining information, but to lay those channels +and sources bare to the public would serve no useful end, nor would it +be an expedient act on my part. All you have any claim to be told is, +that, however costly and complicated, however dangerous even, the means +employed may have been (that I say nothing about), the ultimate end has +been obtained. The Venus, sir, will be restored to her place in the +Gallery at Wricklesmarsh Court, without a scratch on her!" + +"You don't say so! Lor!" cried Leander, hoping that his countenance +would keep his secret, "well, there now! And my ring, sir, if you +remember--isn't _that_ on her?" + +"You mustn't expect us to do everything. Your ring was, as I had every +reason to expect it would be, missing. But I shall be talking the matter +over with Sir Peter Purbecke, who's just come back to Wricklesmarsh from +the Continent, and, provided--ahem!--you don't go talking about this +affair, I should feel justified in recommending him to make you some +substantial acknowledgment for any--well, little inconvenience you may +have been put to on account of your slight connection with the business, +and the steps I may have thought proper to take in consequence. And, +from all I hear of Sir Peter, I think he would be inclined to come down +uncommonly handsome." + +"Well, Mr. Inspector," said Leander, "all I can say is this: if Sir +Peter was to know the life his statue has led me for the past few days, +I think he'd say I deserved it--I do, indeed!" + + * * * * * + + +CONCLUSION. + +The narrow passage off Southampton Row is at present without a +hairdresser's establishment, Leander having resigned his shop, long +since, in favour of either a fruiterer or a stationer. + +But, in one of the leading West End thoroughfares there is a large and +prosperous hair-cutting saloon, over which the name of "Tweddle" +glitters resplendent, and the books of which would prove too much for +Matilda, even if more domestic duties had not begun to claim her +attention. + +Leander's troubles are at end. Thanks to Sir Peter Purbecke's +munificence, he has made a fresh start; and, so far, Fortune has +prospered him. The devices he has invented for correcting Nature's more +palpable errors in taste are becoming widely known, while he is famous, +too, as the gifted author of a series of brilliant and popular +hairwashes. He is accustoming his clients to address him as +"Professor"--a title which he has actually had conferred upon him from a +quarter in which he is, perhaps, the most highly appreciated--for +prosperity has not exactly lessened his self-esteem. + +Mr. Jauncy, too, is a married man, although he does not respond so +heartily to congratulations. There is no intimacy between the two +households, the heads of which recognise that, as Leander puts it, +"their wives harmonise better apart." + +To the new collection of Casts from the Antique, at South Kensington, +there has been recently added one which appears in the official +catalogue under the following description:-- + +"_The Cytherean Venus._--Marble statue. Found in a grotto in the Island +of Cerigo. Now in the collection of Sir Peter Purbecke, at Wricklesmarsh +Court, Black-heath. + +"This noble work has been indifferently assigned to various periods; the +most general opinion, however, pronounces it to be a copy of an earlier +work of Alkamenes, or possibly Kephisodotos. + +"The unusual smallness of the extremities seems to betray the hand of a +restorer, and there are traces of colour in the original marble, which +are supposed to have been added at a somewhat later period." + +Should Professor Tweddle ever find himself in the Museum on a Bank +Holiday, and enter the new gallery, he could hardly avoid seeing the +magnificent cast numbered 333 in the catalogue, and reviving thereby +recollections he has almost succeeded in suppressing. + +But this is an experience he will probably spare himself; for he is +known to entertain, on principle, very strong prejudices against +sculpture, and more particularly the Antique. + + +THE END. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Tinted Venus, by F. 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Anstey. + </title> + <style type="text/css"> +/*<![CDATA[ XML blockout */ +<!-- + p { margin-top: .75em; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .75em; + } + h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 { + text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ + clear: both; + } + hr { width: 33%; + margin-top: 2em; + margin-bottom: 2em; + margin-left: auto; + margin-right: auto; + clear: both; + } + + body{margin-left: 10%; + margin-right: 10%; + } + + .pagenum { /* uncomment the next line for invisible page numbers */ + visibility: hidden; + position: absolute; + left: 92%; + font-size: smaller; + text-align: right; + } /* page numbers */ + + li {list-style-type: upper-roman;} + + .blockquot{margin-left: 5%; margin-right: 10%;} + .TOC a {text-decoration:none;} + + a:link {color:blue; + text-decoration:none} + link {color:blue; + text-decoration:none} + a:visited {color:blue; + text-decoration:none} + a:hover {color:red} + pre {font-size: 8pt;} + + .center {text-align: center;} + .smcap {font-variant: small-caps;} + .u {text-decoration: underline;} + + .caption {font-weight: bold;} + + .figcenter {margin: auto; text-align: center;} + + // --> + /* XML end ]]>*/ + </style> + </head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Tinted Venus, by F. Anstey + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Tinted Venus + A Farcical Romance + +Author: F. Anstey + +Illustrator: Bernard Partridge + +Release Date: January 7, 2008 [EBook #24197] +[Last updated: September 14, 2020] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE TINTED VENUS *** + + + + +Produced by David Clarke, Annie McGuire and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This +file was produced from images generously made available +by The Internet Archive/Canadian Libraries) + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_1" id="Page_1">[Pg 1]</a></span></p> + +<h1>THE TINTED VENUS</h1> + +<h4>A Farcical Romance</h4> + +<h3>BY</h3> + +<h2>F. ANSTEY</h2> + +<h5>AUTHOR OF</h5> +<h5>"THE GIANT'S ROBE," "VICE VERSÂ," ETC.</h5> + +<h4>ILLUSTRATED BY BERNARD PARTRIDGE</h4> + +<h5><span class="smcap">NEW YORK and LONDON</span></h5> +<h5>HARPER AND BROTHERS</h5> +<h5>1898</h5> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[Pg 5]</a></span> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 24em;">"To you,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 13em;">Free and ingenious spirits, he doth now</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 13em;">In me, present his service, with his vow</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 13em;">He hath done his best; and, though he cannot glory</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 13em;">In his invention (this work being a story</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 13em;">Of reverend antiquity), he doth hope</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 13em;">In the proportion of it, and the scope,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 13em;">You may observe some pieces drawn like one</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 13em;">Of a steadfast hand; and with the whiter stone</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 13em;">To be marked in your fair censures. More than this</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 13em;">I am forbid to promise."</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 24em;"><span class="smcap">Massinger</span>.</span><br /> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[Pg 6]</a></span></p> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CONTENTS" id="CONTENTS"></a>CONTENTS.</h2> + +<ol class="smcap"> + <li><a href="#IN_PURSUIT_OF_PLEASURE">In Pursuit Of Pleasure</a></li> + <li><a href="#PLEASURE_IN_PURSUIT">Pleasure In Pursuit</a></li> + <li><a href="#A_DISTINGUISHED_STRANGER">A Distinguished Stranger</a></li> + <li><a href="#FROM_BAD_TO_WORSE">From Bad To Worse</a></li> + <li><a href="#AN_EXPERIMENT">An Experiment</a></li> + <li><a href="#TWO_ARE_COMPANY">Two Are Company</a></li> + <li><a href="#A_FURTHER_PREDICAMENT">A Further Predicament</a></li> + <li><a href="#BETWEEN_THE_DEVIL_AND_THE_DEEP_SEA">Between The Devil And The Deep Sea</a></li> + <li><a href="#AT_LAST">At Last</a></li> + <li><a href="#DAMOCLES_DINES_OUT">Damocles Dines Out</a></li> + <li><a href="#DENOUNCED">Denounced</a></li> + <li><a href="#AN_APPEAL">An Appeal</a></li> + <li><a href="#THE_LAST_STRAW">The Last Straw</a></li> + <li><a href="#THE_THIRTEENTH_TRUMP">The Thirteenth Trump</a></li> + <li><a href="#THE_ODD_TRICK">The Odd Trick</a></li> +</ol> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="LIST_OF_ILLUSTRATIONS" id="LIST_OF_ILLUSTRATIONS"></a>LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS.</h2> + +<p> +<a href="#MADE_FOR_HER">"<span class="smcap">There," he said triumphantly, "it might have been made for her!</span>"</a><br /> +<br /> +<a href="#ANSWER_ME">"<span class="smcap">Answer me," he said roughly; "is this some Lark of yours?</span>"</a><br /> +<br /> +<a href="#WANT_TO_SEE_ME">"<span class="smcap">Did you want to see me on—on Business, Mum?</span>"</a><br /> +<br /> +<a href="#WHAT_WOULD_BE_DONE"><span class="smcap">"What would be done to him?" asked the Hairdresser, with a quite Unpleasant Internal Sensation</span></a><br /> +<br /> +<a href="#KEEP_OFF"><span class="smcap">"Keep off! Tell her to drop it, Tweddle!"</span></a><br /> +<br /> +<a href="#MISERABLE_THING"><span class="smcap">"It is a Miserable Thing," he was thinking, "for a Man ... to have a Female Statue trotting after him like a Great Dorg"</span></a><br /> +<br /> +<a href="#CHIMNEY-GLASS"><span class="smcap">She was standing before the Low Chimney-glass, regarding herself intently</span></a><br /> +<br /> +<a href="#ARF_A_PINT"><span class="smcap">"For 'Arf a Pint I'd knock your Bloomin' 'Ed in!"</span></a><br /> +<br /> +<a href="#KNEEL"><span class="smcap">"Why did you not kneel to me before?"</span></a><br /> +<br /> +<a href="#NAMELESS_FEAR"><span class="smcap">She struck a Nameless Fear into Leander's Soul</span></a><br /> +<br /> +<a href="#UNSTEADY_WITH_PASSION"><span class="smcap">Her Hands were Unsteady with Passion as she tied her Bonnet-strings</span></a><br /> +<br /> +<a href="#DOWN_ON_ALL_FOURS"><span class="smcap">Leander went down on All Fours on the Hearth-rug</span></a><br /> +<br /> +<a href="#STOP"><span class="smcap">"Stop where you are!... for Mercy's Sake, don't come in!"</span></a><br /> +<br /> +<a href="#LEANDER"><span class="smcap">"Leander!" she cried, ... "I don't believe she can do it!"</span></a><br /> +<br /> +<a href="#THREW_HIMSELF_DOWN"><span class="smcap">He threw himself down by her Chair, and drew down the Hands in which she had hidden her Face</span></a><br /> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[Pg 10]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[Pg 9]</a></span></p> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="IN_PURSUIT_OF_PLEASURE" id="IN_PURSUIT_OF_PLEASURE"></a>IN PURSUIT OF PLEASURE</h2> + +<h3>I.</h3> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 16em;">"Ther hopped Hawkyn,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 16em;">Ther daunsed Dawkyn,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 16em;">Ther trumped Tomkyn...."</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 21em;"><i>The Tournament of Tottenham.</i></span><br /><br /> +</p> + +<p>In Southampton Row, Bloomsbury, there is a small alley or passage +leading into Queen Square, and rendered inaccessible to all but foot +passengers by some iron posts. The shops in this passage are of a +subdued exterior, and are overshadowed by a dingy old edifice dedicated +to St. George the Martyr, which seems to have begun its existence as a +rather handsome chapel, and to have improved itself, by a sort of +evolution, into a singularly ugly church.</p> + +<p>Into this alley, one Saturday afternoon late in October, came a short +stout young man, with sandy hair, and a perpetual grin denoting +anticipation rather than enjoyment. Opposite the church he stopped at a +hairdresser's shop, which bore the name of Tweddle. The display in the +window was chastely severe; the conventional half-lady revolving slowly +in fatuous self-satisfaction, and the gentleman bearing a piebald beard +with waxen resignation, were not to be found in this shop-front, which +exhibited nothing but a small pile of toilet remedies and a few lengths +of hair of graduated tints. It was doubtful,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</a></span> perhaps, whether such +self-restraint on the part of its proprietor was the result of a +distaste for empty show, or a conviction that the neighbourhood did not +expect it.</p> + +<p>Inside the shop there was nobody but a small boy, corking and labelling +bottles; but before he could answer any question as to the whereabouts +of his employer, that artist made his appearance. Leander Tweddle was +about thirty, of middle height, with a luxuriant head of brown hair, and +carefully-trimmed whiskers that curled round towards his upper lip, +where they spent themselves in a faint moustache. His eyes were rather +small, and his nose had a decided upward tendency; but, with his +pink-and-white complexion and compact well-made figure, he was far from +ill-looking, though he thought himself even farther.</p> + +<p>"Well, Jauncy," he said, after the first greetings, "so you haven't +forgot our appointment?"</p> + +<p>"Why, no," explained his friend; "but I never thought I should get away +in time to keep it. We've been in court all the morning with motions and +short causes, and the old Vice sat on till past three; and when we did +get back to chambers, Splitter kep' me there discussing an opinion of +his I couldn't agree with, and I was ever so long before I got him to +alter it my way."</p> + +<p>For he was clerk to a barrister in good practice, and it was Jauncy's +pride to discover an occasional verbal slip in some of his employer's +more hastily written opinions on cases, and suggest improvements.</p> + +<p>"Well, James," said the hairdresser, "I don't know that I could have got +away myself any earlier. I've been so absorbed in the laborrit'ry, what +with three rejuvenators and an elixir all on the simmer together, I +almost gave way under the strain of it; but they're set to cool now, and +I'm ready to go as soon as you please."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Now," said Jauncy, briskly, as they left the shop together, "if we're +to get up to Rosherwich Gardens to-night, we mustn't dawdle."</p> + +<p>"I just want to look in here a minute," said Tweddle, stopping before +the window of a working-jeweller, who sat there in a narrow partition +facing the light, with a great horn lens protruding from one of his eyes +like a monstrous growth. "I left something there to be altered, and I +may as well see if it's done."</p> + +<p>Apparently it was done, for he came out almost immediately, thrusting a +small cardboard box into his pocket as he rejoined his friend. "Now we'd +better take a cab up to Fenchurch Street," said Jauncy. "Can't keep +those girls standing about on the platform."</p> + +<p>As they drove along, Tweddle observed, "I didn't understand that our +party was to include the fair sect, James?"</p> + +<p>"Didn't you? I thought my letter said so plain enough. I'm an engaged +man now, you know, Tweddle. It wouldn't do if I went out to enjoy myself +and left my young lady at home!"</p> + +<p>"No," agreed Leander Tweddle, with a moral twinge, "no, James. I'd +forgot you were engaged. What's the lady's name, by-the-by?"</p> + +<p>"Parkinson; Bella Parkinson," was the answer.</p> + +<p>Leander had turned a deeper colour. "Did you say," he asked, looking out +of the window on his side of the hansom, "that there was another lady +going down?"</p> + +<p>"Only Bella's sister, Ada. She's a regular jolly girl, Ada is, +you'll——Hullo!"</p> + +<p>For Tweddle had suddenly thrust his stick up the trap and stopped the +cab. "I'm very sorry, James," he said, preparing to get out, "but—but +you'll have to excuse me being of your company."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Do you mean that my Bella and her sister are not good enough company +for you?" demanded Jauncy. "You were a shop-assistant yourself, Tweddle, +only a short while ago!"</p> + +<p>"I know that, James, I know; and it isn't that—far from it. I'm sure +they are two as respectable girls, and quite the ladies in every +respect, as I'd wish to meet. Only the fact is——"</p> + +<p>The driver was listening through the trap, and before Leander would say +more he told him to drive on till further orders, after which he +continued—</p> + +<p>"The fact is—we haven't met for so long that I dare say you're unaware +of it—but <i>I'm</i> engaged, James, too!"</p> + +<p>"Wish you joy with all my heart, Tweddle; but what then?"</p> + +<p>"Why," exclaimed Leander, "my Matilda (that's <i>her</i> name) is the dearest +girl, James; but she's most uncommon partickler, and I don't think she'd +like my going to a place of open-air entertainment where there's +dancing—and I'll get out here, please!"</p> + +<p>"Gammon!" said Jauncy. "That isn't it, Tweddle; don't try and humbug me. +You were ready enough to go just now. You've a better reason than that!"</p> + +<p>"James, I'll tell you the truth; I have. In earlier days, James, I used +constantly to be meeting Miss Parkinson and her sister in serciety, and +I dare say I made myself so pleasant and agreeable (you know what a way +that is of mine), that Miss Ada (not <i>your</i> lady, of course) may have +thought I meant something special by it, and there's no saying but what +it might have come in time to our keeping company, only I happened just +then to see Matilda, and—and I haven't been near the Parkinsons ever +since. So you can see for yourself that<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</a></span> a meeting might be awkward for +all parties concerned; and I really must get out, James!"</p> + +<p>Jauncy forced him back. "It's all nonsense, Tweddle," he said, "you +can't back out of it now! Don't make a fuss about nothing. Ada don't +look as if she'd been breaking her heart for you!"</p> + +<p>"You never can tell with women," said the hairdresser, sententiously; +"and meeting me sudden, and learning it could never be—no one can say +how she mightn't take it!"</p> + +<p>"I call it too bad!" exclaimed Jauncy. "Here have I been counting on you +to make the ladies enjoy themselves—for I haven't your gift of +entertaining conversation, and don't pretend to it—and you go and leave +me in the lurch, and spoil their evening for them!"</p> + +<p>"If I thought I was doing that——" said Leander, hesitating.</p> + +<p>"You are, you know you are!" persisted Jauncy, who was naturally anxious +to avoid the reduction of his party to so inconvenient a number as +three.</p> + +<p>"And see here, Tweddle, you needn't say anything of your engagement +unless you like. I give you my word I won't, not even to Bella, if +you'll only come! As to Ada, she can take care of herself, unless I'm +very much mistaken in her. So come along, like a good chap!"</p> + +<p>"I give in, James; I give in," said Leander. "A promise is a promise, +and yet I feel somehow I'm doing wrong to go, and as if no good would +come of it. I do indeed!"</p> + +<p>And so he did not stop the cab a second time, and allowed himself to be +taken without further protest to Fenchurch Street Station, on the +platform of which they found the Misses Parkinson waiting for them.</p> + +<p>Miss Bella Parkinson, the elder of the two, who was<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</a></span> employed in a large +toy and fancy goods establishment in the neighbourhood of Westbourne +Grove, was tall and slim, with pale eyes and auburn hair. She had some +claims to good looks, in spite of a slightly pasty complexion, and a +large and decidedly unamiable mouth.</p> + +<p>Her sister Ada was the more pleasing in appearance and manner, a +brunette with large brown eyes, an impertinent little nose, and a +brilliant healthy colour. She was an assistant to a milliner and +bonnet-maker in the Edgware Road.</p> + +<p>Both these young ladies, when in the fulfilment of their daily duties, +were models of deportment; in their hours of ease, the elder's cold +dignity was rather apt to turn to peevishness, while the younger sister, +relieved from the restraints of the showroom, betrayed a lively and even +frivolous disposition.</p> + +<p>It was this liveliness and frivolity that had fascinated the hairdresser +in days that had gone by; but if he had felt any self-distrust now in +venturing within their influence, such apprehensions vanished with the +first sight of the charms which had been counteracted before they had +time to prevail.</p> + +<p>She was well enough, this Miss Ada Parkinson, he thought now; a +nice-looking girl in her way, and stylishly dressed. But his Matilda +looked twice the lady she ever could, and a vision of his betrothed (at +that time taking a week's rest in the country) rose before him, as if to +justify and confirm his preference.</p> + +<p>The luckless James had to undergo some amount of scolding from Miss +Bella for his want of punctuality, a scolding which merely supplied an +object to his grin; and during her remarks, Ada had ample time to rally +Leander Tweddle upon his long neglect, and used it to the best +advantage.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</a></span></p> + +<p>Perhaps he would have been better pleased by a little less +insensibility, a touch of surprise and pleasure on her part at meeting +him again, as he allowed himself to show in a remark that his absence +did not seem to have affected her to any great extent.</p> + +<p>"I don't know what you expected, Mr. Tweddle," she replied. "Ought I to +have cried both my eyes out? You haven't cried out either of yours, you +know!"</p> + +<p>"'Men must work, and women must weep,' as Shakspeare says," he observed, +with a vague idea that he was making rather an apt quotation. But his +companion pointed out that this only applied to cases where the women +had something to weep about.</p> + +<p>The party had a compartment to themselves, and Leander, who sat at one +end opposite to Ada, found his spirits rising under the influence of her +lively sallies.</p> + +<p>"That's the only thing Matilda wants," he thought, "a little more +liveliness and go about her. I like a little chaff myself, now and then, +I must say."</p> + +<p>At the other end of the carriage, Bella had been suggesting that the +gardens might be closed so late in the year, and regretting that they +had not chosen the new melodrama at the Adelphi instead; which caused +Jauncy to draw glowing pictures of the attractions of Rosherwich +Gardens.</p> + +<p>"I was there a year ago last summer," he said, "and it was first-rate: +open-air dancing, summer theatre, rope-walking, fireworks, and supper +out under the trees. You'll enjoy yourself, Bella, right enough when you +get there!"</p> + +<p>"If that isn't enough for you, Bella," cried her sister, "you must be +difficult to please! I'm sure I'm quite looking forward to it; aren't +you, Mr. Tweddle?"</p> + +<p>The poor man was cursed by the fatal desire of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</a></span> pleasing, and +unconsciously threw an altogether unnecessary degree of <i>empressement</i> +into his voice as he replied, "In the company I am at present, I should +look forward to it, if it was a wilderness with a funeral in it."</p> + +<p>"Oh dear me, Mr. Tweddle, that <i>is</i> a pretty speech!" said Ada, and she +blushed in a manner which appalled the conscience-stricken hairdresser.</p> + +<p>"There I go again," he thought remorsefully, "putting things in the poor +girl's head—it ain't right. I'm making myself too pleasant!"</p> + +<p>And then it struck him that it would be only prudent to make his +position clearly understood, and, carefully lowering his voice, he began +a speech with that excellent intention. "Miss Parkinson," he said +huskily, "there's something I have to tell you about myself, very +particular. Since I last enjoyed the pleasure of meeting with you my +prospects have greatly altered, I am no longer——"</p> + +<p>But she cut him short with a little gesture of entreaty. "Oh, not here, +please, Mr. Tweddle," she said; "tell me about it in the gardens!"</p> + +<p>"Very well," he said, relieved; "remind me when we get there—in case I +forget, you know."</p> + +<p>"Remind you!" cried Ada; "the <i>idea</i>, Mr. Tweddle! I certainly shan't do +any such thing."</p> + +<p>"She thinks I am going to propose to her!" he thought ruefully; "it will +be a delicate business undeceiving her. I wish it was over and done +with!"</p> + +<p>It was quite dark by the time they had crossed the river by the ferry, +and made their way up to the entrance to the pleasure gardens, imposing +enough, with its white colonnade, its sphinxes, and lines of coloured +lamps.</p> + +<p>But no one else had crossed with them; and, as they stood at the +turnstiles, all they could see of the grounds beyond seemed so dark and +silent that they began to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</a></span> have involuntary misgivings. "I suppose," +said Jauncy to the man at the ticket-hole, "the gardens are open—eh?"</p> + +<p>"Oh yes," he said gruffly, "<i>they're</i> open—they're <i>open</i>; though there +ain't much going on out-of-doors, being the last night of the season."</p> + +<p>Bella again wished that they had selected the Adelphi for their +evening's pleasure, and remarked that Jauncy "might have known."</p> + +<p>"Well," said the latter to the party generally, "what do you say—shall +we go in, or get back by the first train home?"</p> + +<p>"Don't be so ridiculous, James!" said Bella, peevishly. "What's the good +of going back, to be too late for everything. The mischief's done now."</p> + +<p>"Oh, let's go in!" advised Ada; "the amusements and things will be just +as nice indoors—nicer on a chilly evening like this;" and Leander +seconded her heartily.</p> + +<p>So they went in; Jauncy leading the way with the still complaining +Bella, and Leander Tweddle bringing up the rear with Ada. They picked +their way as well as they could in the darkness, caused by the closely +planted trees and shrubs, down a winding path, where the sopped leaves +gave a slippery foothold, and the branches flicked moisture insultingly +in their faces as they pushed them aside.</p> + +<p>A dead silence reigned everywhere, broken only by the wind as it rustled +amongst the bare twigs, or the whistling of a flaring gas-torch +protruding from some convenient tree.</p> + +<p>Jauncy occasionally shouted back some desperate essay at jocularity, at +which Ada laughed with some perseverance, until even she could no longer +resist the influence of the surroundings.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</a></span></p> + +<p>On a hot summer's evening those grounds, brilliantly illuminated and +crowded by holiday-makers, have been the delight of thousands of honest +Londoners, and will be so again; but it was undeniable that on this +particular occasion they were pervaded by a decent melancholy.</p> + +<p>Ada had slipped a hand, clad in crimson silk, through Leander's arm as +they groped through the gloom together, and shrank to his side now and +then in an alarm which was only half pretended. But if her light +pressure upon his arm made his heart beat at all the faster, it was only +at the fancy that the trusting hand was his Matilda's, or so at least +did he account for it to himself afterwards.</p> + +<p>They followed on, down a broad promenade, where the ground glistened +with autumn damps, and the unlighted lamps looked wan and spectral. +There was a bear-pit hard by, over the railings of which Ada leaned and +shouted a defiant "Boo;" but the bears had turned in for the night, and +the stone re-echoed her voice with a hollow ring. Indistinct bird forms +were roosting in cages; but her umbrella had no effect upon them.</p> + +<p>Jauncy was waiting for them to come up, perhaps as a protection against +his <i>fiancée's</i> reproaches. "In another hour," he said, with an implied +apology, "you'll see how different this place looks. We—we're come a +little too early. Suppose we fill up the time by a nice little dinner at +the Restorong—eh, Ada? What do you think, Tweddle?"</p> + +<p>The suggestion was received favourably, and Jauncy, thankful to retrieve +his reputation as leader, took them towards the spot where food was to +be had.</p> + +<p>Presently they saw lights twinkling through the trees, and came to a +place which was clearly the focus of festivity. There was the open-air +theatre, its drop-scene<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</a></span> lowered, its proscenium lost in the gloom; +there was the circle for <i>al-fresco</i> dancing, but it was bare, and the +clustered lights were dead; there was the restaurant, dark and silent +like all else.</p> + +<p>Jauncy stood there and rubbed his chin. "This is where I dined when we +were here last," he said, at length; "and a capital little dinner they +gave us too!"</p> + +<p>"What <i>I</i> should like to know," said the elder Miss Parkinson, "is, +where are we to dine to-night?"</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Jauncy, encouragingly; "don't you fret yourself, Bella. +Here's an old party sweeping up leaves, we'll ask him."</p> + +<p>They did so, and were referred to a large building, in the Gothic style, +with a Tudor doorway, known as the "Baronial All," where lights shone +behind the painted windows.</p> + +<p>Inside, a few of the lamps around the pillars were lighted, and the body +of the floor was roped in as if for dancing; but the hall was empty, +save for a barmaid, assisted by a sharp little girl, behind the long bar +on one of its sides.</p> + +<p>Jauncy led his dejected little party up to this, and again put his +inquiry with less hopefulness. When he found that the only available +form of refreshment that evening was bitter ale and captain's biscuits, +mitigated by occasional caraway seeds, he became a truly pitiable +object.</p> + +<p>"They—they don't keep this place up on the same scale in the autumn, +you see," he explained weakly. "It's very different in summer; what they +call 'an endless round of amusements.'"</p> + +<p>"There's an endless round of amusement now," observed Ada; "but it's a +naught!"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Oh, there'll be something going on by-and-by, never fear," said Jauncy, +determined to be sanguine; "or else they wouldn't be open."</p> + +<p>"There'll be dancing here this evening," the barmaid informed him. "That +is all we open for at this time of year; and this is the last night of +the season."</p> + +<p>"Oh!" said Jauncy, cheerfully; "you see we only came just in time, +Bella; and I suppose you'll have a good many down here to-night—eh, +miss?"</p> + +<p>"How much did we take last Saturday, Jenny?" said the barmaid to the +sharp little girl.</p> + +<p>"Seven and fourpence 'ap'ny—most of it beer," said the child. +"Margaret, I may count the money again to-night, mayn't I?"</p> + +<p>The barmaid made some mental calculation, after which she replied to +Jauncy's question. "We may have some fifteen couples or so down +to-night," she said; "but that won't be for half an hour yet."</p> + +<p>"The question is," said Jauncy, trying to bear up under this last blow; +"the question is, How are we to amuse ourselves till the dancing +begins?"</p> + +<p>"I don't know what others are going to do," Bella announced; "but I +shall stay here, James, and keep warm—if I can!" and once more she +uttered her regret that they had not gone to the Adelphi.</p> + +<p>Her sister declined to follow her example. "I mean to see all there is +to be seen," she declared, "since we are here; and perhaps Mr. Tweddle +will come and take care of me. Will you, Mr. Tweddle?"</p> + +<p>He was not sorry to comply, and they wandered out together through the +grounds, which offered considerable variety. There were alleys lined +with pale plaster statues, and a grove dedicated to the master minds of +the world, represented by huge busts, with more or less appropriate<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</a></span> +quotations. There were alcoves, too, and neatly ruined castles.</p> + +<p>Ada talked almost the whole time in a sprightly manner, which gave +Leander no opportunity of introducing the subject of his engagement, and +this continued until they had reached a small battlemented platform on +some rising ground; below were the black masses of trees, with a faint +fringe of light here and there; beyond lay the Thames, in which red and +white reflections quivered, and from whose distant bends and reaches +came the dull roar of fog-horns and the pantings of tugs.</p> + +<p>Ada stood here in silence for some time; at last she said, "After all, +I'm not sorry we came—are <i>you</i>?"</p> + +<p>"If I don't take care what I say, I <i>may</i> be!" he thought, and answered +guardedly, "On the contrary, I'm glad, for it gives me the opportunity +of telling you something I—I think you ought to know."</p> + +<p>"What was he going to say next?" she thought. Was a declaration coming, +and if so, should she accept him? She was not sure; he had behaved very +badly in keeping so long away from her, and a proposal would be a very +suitable form of apology; but there was the gentleman who travelled for +a certain firm in the Edgware Road, he had been very "particular" in his +attentions of late. Well, she would see how she felt when Leander had +spoken; he was beginning to speak now.</p> + +<p>"I don't want to put it too abrupt," he said; "I'll come to it +gradually. There's a young lady that I'm now looking forward to spending +the whole of my future life with."</p> + +<p>"And what is she called?" asked Ada. ("He's rather a nice little man, +after all!" she was thinking.)</p> + +<p>"Matilda," he said; and the answer came like a blow in the face. For the +moment she hated him as bitterly<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</a></span> as if he had been all the world to +her; but she carried off her mortification by a rather hysterical laugh.</p> + +<p>"Fancy you being engaged!" she said, by way of explanation of her +merriment; "and to any one with the name of Matilda—it's such a stupid +sounding sort of name!"</p> + +<p>"It ain't at all; it all depends how you say it. If you pronounce it +like I do, <i>Matilda</i>, it has rather a pretty sound. You try now."</p> + +<p>"Well, we won't quarrel about it, Mr. Tweddle; I'm glad it isn't my +name, that's all. And now tell me all about your young lady. What's her +other name, and is she very good-looking?"</p> + +<p>"She's a Miss Matilda Collum," said he; "she is considered handsome by +competent judges, and she keeps the books at a florist's in the vicinity +of Bayswater."</p> + +<p>"And, if it isn't a rude question, why didn't you bring her with you +this evening?"</p> + +<p>"Because she's away for a short holiday, and isn't coming back till the +last thing to-morrow night."</p> + +<p>"And I suppose you've been wishing I was Matilda all the time?" she said +audaciously; for Miss Ada Parkinson was not an over-scrupulous young +person, and did not recognize in the fact of her friend's engagement any +reason why she should not attempt to reclaim his vagrant admiration.</p> + +<p>Leander <i>had</i> been guilty of this wish once or twice; but though he was +not absolutely overflowing with tact, he did refrain from admitting the +impeachment.</p> + +<p>"Well, you see," he said, in not very happy evasion, "Matilda doesn't +care about this kind of thing; she's rather particular, Matilda is."</p> + +<p>"And I'm not!" said Ada. "I see; thank you, Mr. Tweddle!"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</a></span></p> + +<p>"You do take one up so!" he complained. "I never intended nothing of the +sort—far from it."</p> + +<p>"Well, then, I forgive you; we can't all be Matildas, I suppose. And +now, suppose we go back; they will be beginning to dance by now!"</p> + +<p>"With pleasure," he said; "only you must excuse me dancing, because, as +an engaged man, I have had to renounce (except with one person) the +charms of Terpsy-chore. I mean," he explained condescendingly, "that I +can't dance in public save with my intended."</p> + +<p>"Ah, well," said Ada, "perhaps Terpsy-chore will get over it; still I +should like to see the Terpsy-choring, if you have no objection."</p> + +<p>And they returned to the Baronial Hall, which by this time presented a +more cheerful appearance. The lamps round the mirror-lined pillars were +all lit, and the musicians were just striking up the opening bars of the +Lancers; upon which several gentlemen amongst the assembly, which now +numbered about forty, ran out into the open and took up positions, like +colour-sergeants at drill, to be presently joined, in some bashfulness, +by such ladies as desired partners.</p> + +<p>The Lancers were performed with extreme conscientiousness; and when it +was over, every gentleman with any <i>savoir faire</i> to speak of presented +his partner with a glass of beer.</p> + +<p>Then came a waltz, to which Ada beat time impatiently with her foot, and +bit her lip, as she had to look on by Leander's side.</p> + +<p>"There's Bella and James going round," she said; "I've never had to sit +out a waltz before!"</p> + +<p>He felt the implied reproach, and thought whether there could be any +harm, after all, in taking a turn or two; it would be only polite. But, +before he could recant<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</a></span> in words, a soldier came up, a medium-sized +warrior with a large nose and round little eyes, who had been very funny +during the Lancers in directing all the figures by words of military +command.</p> + +<p>"Will you allow me the honour, miss, of just one round?" he said to Ada, +respectfully enough.</p> + +<p>The etiquette of this ballroom was not of the strictest; but she would +not have consented but for the desire of showing Leander that she was +not dependent upon him for her amusement. As it was, she accepted the +corporal's arm a little defiantly.</p> + +<p>Leander watched them round the hall with an odd sensation, almost of +jealousy—it was quite ridiculous, because he could have danced with Ada +himself had he cared to do so; and besides, it was not she, but Matilda, +whom he adored.</p> + +<p>But, as he began to notice, Ada was looking remarkably pretty that +evening, and really was a partner who would bring any one credit; and +her corporal danced villainously, revolving with stiff and wooden jerks, +like a toy soldier. Now Leander flattered himself he could waltz—having +had considerable practice in bygone days in a select assembly, where the +tickets were two shillings each, and the gentlemen, as the notices said +ambiguously enough, "were restricted to wearing gloves."</p> + +<p>So he felt indignantly that Ada was not having justice done to her. +"I've a good mind to give her a turn," he thought, "and show them all +what waltzing is!"</p> + +<p>Just then the pair happened to come to a halt close to him. "Shockin' +time they're playing this waltz in," he heard the soldier exclaim with +humorous vivacity (he was apparently the funny man of the regiment, and +had brought a silent but appreciative comrade with<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</a></span> him as audience), +"abominable! excruciatin'! comic!! 'orrible!!!"</p> + +<p>Leander seized the opportunity. "Excuse me," he said politely, "but if +you don't like the music, perhaps you wouldn't mind giving up this young +lady to me?"</p> + +<p>"Oh come, I say!" said the man of war, running his fingers through his +short curly hair; "my good feller, you'd better see what the lady says +to that!" (He evidently had no doubt himself.)</p> + +<p>"I'm very well content as I am, thank you all the same, Mr. Tweddle," +said Ada, unkindly adding in a lower tone, "If you're so anxious to +dance, dance with Terpsy-chore!"</p> + +<p>And again he was left to watch the whirling couples with melancholy +eyes. The corporal's brother-in-arms was wheeling round with a plain +young person, apparently in domestic service, whose face was overspread +by a large red smile of satiated ambition. James and Bella flitted by, +dancing vigorously, and Bella's discontent seemed to have vanished for +the time. There were jigging couples and prancing couples; couples that +bounced round like imprisoned bees, and couples that glided past in calm +and conscious superiority. He alone stood apart, excluded from the happy +throng, and he began to have a pathetic sense of injury.</p> + +<p>But the music stopped at last, and Ada, dismissing her partner, came +towards him. "You don't seem to be enjoying yourself, Mr. Tweddle," she +said maliciously.</p> + +<p>"Don't I?" he replied. "Well, so long as you are, it don't matter, Miss +Parkinson—it don't matter."</p> + +<p>"But I'm not—at least, I didn't that dance," she said. "That soldier +man did talk such rubbish, and he trod on my feet twice. I'm so hot! I +wonder if it's cooler outside?"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Will you come and see?" he suggested, and this time she did not disdain +his arm, and they strolled out together.</p> + +<p>Following a path they had hitherto left unexplored, they came to a +little enclosure surrounded by tall shrubs; in the centre, upon a low +pedestal, stood a female statue, upon which a gas lamp, some paces off, +cast a flickering gleam athwart the foliage.</p> + +<p>The exceptional grace and beauty of the figure would have been apparent +to any lover of art. She stood there, her right arm raised, partly in +gracious invitation, partly in queenly command, her left hand extended, +palm downwards, as if to be reverentially saluted. The hair was parted +in boldly indicated waves over the broad low brow, and confined by a +fillet in a large loose knot at the back. She was clad in a long chiton, +which lapped in soft zig-zag folds over the girdle and fell to the feet +in straight parallel lines, and a chlamys hanging from her shoulders +concealed the left arm to the elbow, while it left the right arm free.</p> + +<p>In the uncertain light one could easily fancy soft eyes swimming in +those wide blank sockets, and the ripe lips were curved by a dreamy +smile, at once tender and disdainful.</p> + +<p>Leander Tweddle and Miss Ada Parkinson, however, stood before the statue +in an unmoved, not to say critical, mood.</p> + +<p>"Who's she supposed to be, I wonder?" asked the young lady, rather as if +the sculptor were a harmless lunatic whose delusions took a marble shape +occasionally. This, by the way, is a question which may frequently be +heard in picture galleries, and implies an enlightened tolerance.</p> + +<p>"I don't know," said Leander; "a foreign female,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</a></span> I fancy—that's +Russian on the pedestal." He inferred this from a resemblance to the +characters on certain packets of cigarettes.</p> + +<p>"But there's some English underneath," said Ada; "I can just make it +out. Ap—Apro—Aprodyte. What a funny name!"</p> + +<p>"You haven't prenounced it quite correckly," he said; "out there they +sound the ph like a f, and give all the syllables—Afroddity." He felt a +kind of intuition that this was nearer the correct rendering.</p> + +<p>"Well," observed Ada, "she's got a silly look, don't you think?"</p> + +<p>Leander was less narrow, and gave it as his opinion that she had been +"done from a fine woman."</p> + +<p>Ada remarked that she herself would never consent to be taken in so +unbecoming a costume. "One might as well have no figure at all in things +hanging down for all the world like a sack," she said.</p> + +<p>Proceeding to details, she was struck by the smallness of the hands; and +it must be admitted that, although the statue as a whole was slightly +above the average female height, the arms from the elbow downwards, and +particularly the hands, were by no means in proportion, and almost +justified Miss Parkinson's objection, that "no woman could have hands so +small as that."</p> + +<p>"I know some one who has—quite as small," said he softly.</p> + +<p>Ada instantly drew off one of the crimson gloves and held out her hand +beside the statue's. It was a well-shaped hand, as she very well knew, +but it was decidedly larger than the one with which she compared it. "I +<i>said</i> so," she observed; "now are you satisfied, Mr. Tweddle?"</p> + +<p>But he had been thinking of a hand more slender<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</a></span> and dainty than hers, +and allowed himself to admit as much. "I—I wasn't meaning you at all," +he said bluntly.</p> + +<p>She laughed a little jarring laugh. "Oh, Matilda, of course! Nobody is +like Matilda now! But come, Mr. Tweddle, you're not going to stand there +and tell me that this wonderful Matilda of yours has hands no bigger +than those?"</p> + +<p>"She has been endowed with quite remarkable small hands," said he; "you +wouldn't believe it without seeing. It so happens," he added suddenly, +"that I can give you a very fair ideer of the size they are, for I've +got a ring of hers in my pocket at this moment. It came about this way: +my aunt (the same that used to let her second floor to James, and that +Matilda lodges with at present), my aunt, as soon as she heard of our +being engaged, nothing would do but I must give Matilda an old ring with +a posy inside it, that was in our family, and we soon found the ring was +too large to keep on, and I left it with old Vidler, near my place of +business, to be made tighter, and called for it on my way here this very +afternoon, and fortunately enough it was ready."</p> + +<p>He took out the ring from its bed of pink cotton wool, and offered it to +Miss Parkinson.</p> + +<p>"You see if you can get it on," he said; "try the little finger!"</p> + +<p>She drew back, offended. "<i>I</i> don't want to try it, thank you," she said +(she felt as if she might fling it into the bushes if she allowed +herself to touch it). "If you <i>must</i> try it on somebody, there's the +statue! You'll find no difficulty in getting it on any of her +fingers—or thumbs," she added.</p> + +<p>"You shall see," said Leander. "My belief is, it's too small for her, if +anything."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[Pg 32]</a></span></p> + +<p>He was a true lover; anxious to vindicate his lady's perfections before +all the world, and perhaps to convince himself that his estimate was not +exaggerated. The proof was so easy, the statue's left hand hung +temptingly within his reach; he accepted the challenge, and slipped the +ring up the third finger, that was slightly raised as if to receive it. +The hand struck no chill, so moist and mild was the evening, but felt +warm and almost soft in his grasp.</p> + +<p>"There," he said triumphantly, "it might have been made for her!"</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 349px;"><a name="MADE_FOR_HER" id="MADE_FOR_HER"></a> +<img src="images/frontis.jpg" width="349" height="500" alt=""THERE," HE SAID TRIUMPHANTLY, "IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN MADE +FOR HER!"" title="" /> +<span class="caption">"THERE," HE SAID TRIUMPHANTLY, "IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN MADE +FOR HER!"</span> +</div> + +<p>"Well," said Ada, not too consistently, "I never said it mightn't!"</p> + +<p>"Excuse me," said he, "but you said it would be too large for her; and, +if you'll believe me, it's as much as I can do to get it off her finger, +it fits that close."</p> + +<p>"Well, make haste and get it off, Mr. Tweddle, do," said Ada, +impatiently. "I've stayed out quite long enough."</p> + +<p>"In one moment," he replied; "it's quite a job, I declare, quite a job!"</p> + +<p>"Oh, you men are so clumsy!" cried Ada. "Let <i>me</i> try."</p> + +<p>"No, no!" he said, rather irritably; "I can manage it," and he continued +to fumble.</p> + +<p>At last he looked over his shoulder and said, "It's a singler +succumstance, but I can't get the ring past the bend of the finger."</p> + +<p>Ada was cruel enough to burst out laughing. "It's a judgment upon you, +Mr. Tweddle!" she cried.</p> + +<p>"You dared me to it!" he retorted. "It isn't friendly of you, I must +say, Miss Parkinson, to set there enjoying of it—it's bad taste!"</p> + +<p>"Well, then, I'm very sorry, Mr. Tweddle; I won't<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</a></span> laugh any more; but, +for goodness' sake, take me back to the Hall now."</p> + +<p>"It's coming!" he said; "I'm working it over the joint now—it's coming +quite easily."</p> + +<p>"But I can't wait here while it comes," she said. "Do you want me to go +back alone? You're not very polite to me this evening, I must say."</p> + +<p>"What am I to do?" he said distractedly. "This ring is my engagement +ring; it's valuable. I can't go away without it!"</p> + +<p>"The statue won't run away—you can come back again, by-and-by. You +don't expect me to spend the rest of the evening out here? I never +thought you could be rude to a lady, Mr. Tweddle."</p> + +<p>"No more I can," he said. "Your wishes, Miss Ada, are equivocal to +commands; allow me the honour of reconducting you to the Baronial Hall."</p> + +<p>He offered his arm in his best manner; she took it, and together they +passed out of the enclosure, leaving the statue in undisturbed +possession of the ring.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[Pg 36]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</a></span></p> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="PLEASURE_IN_PURSUIT" id="PLEASURE_IN_PURSUIT"></a>PLEASURE IN PURSUIT</h2> + +<h3>II.</h3> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 13em;">"And you, great sculptor, so you gave</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 13em;">A score of years to Art, her slave,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 13em;">And that's your Venus, whence we turn</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 13em;">To yonder girl——"</span><br /><br /> +</p> + +<p>Another waltz had just begun as they re-entered the Baronial Hall, and +Ada glanced up at her companion from her daring brown eyes. "What would +you say if I told you you might have this dance with me?" she inquired.</p> + +<p>The hairdresser hesitated for just one moment. He had meant to leave her +there and go back for his ring; but the waltz they were playing was a +very enticing one. Ada was looking uncommonly pretty just then; he could +get the ring equally well a few minutes later.</p> + +<p>"I should take it very kind of you," he said, gratefully, at length.</p> + +<p>"Ask for it, then," said Ada; and he did ask for it.</p> + +<p>He forgot Matilda and his engagement for the moment; he sacrificed all +his scruples about dancing in public; but he somehow failed to enjoy +this pleasure, illicit though it was.</p> + +<p>For one thing, he could not long keep Matilda out of his thoughts. He +was doing nothing positively wrong; still, it was undeniable that she +would not approve of his<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[Pg 37]</a></span> being there at all, still less if she knew +that the gold ring given to him by his aunt for the purposes of his +betrothal had been left on the finger of a foreign statue, and exposed +to the mercy of any passer-by, while he waltzed with a bonnet-maker's +assistant.</p> + +<p>And his conscience was awakened still further by the discovery that Ada +was a somewhat disappointing partner. "She's not so light as she used to +be," he thought, "and then she jumps. I'd forgotten she jumped."</p> + +<p>Before the waltz was nearly over he led her back to a chair, alleging as +his excuse that he was afraid to abandon his ring any longer, and +hastened away to the spot where it was to be found.</p> + +<p>He went along the same path, and soon came to an enclosure; but no +sooner had he entered it than he saw that he must have mistaken his way; +this was not the right place. There was no statue in the middle.</p> + +<p>He was about to turn away, when he saw something that made him start; it +was a low pedestal in the centre, with the same characters upon it that +he had read with Ada. It was the place, after all; yes, he could not be +mistaken; he knew it now.</p> + +<p>Where was the statue which had so lately occupied that pedestal? Had it +fallen over amongst the bushes? He felt about for it in vain. It must +have been removed for some purpose while he had been dancing; but by +whom, and why?</p> + +<p>The best way to find out would be to ask some one in authority. The +manager was in the Baronial Hall, officiating as M.C.; he would go and +inquire whether the removal had been by his orders.</p> + +<p>He was fortunate enough to catch him as he was coming out of the hall, +and he seized him by the arm with<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[Pg 40]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[Pg 38]</a></span> nervous haste. "Mister," he began, +"if you've found one of your plaster figures with a gold ring on, it's +mine. I—I put it on in a joking kind of way, and I had to leave it for +awhile; and now, when I come back for it, it's gone!"</p> + +<p>"I'm sorry to hear it, sir," returned the manager; "but really, if you +will leave gold rings on our statues, we can't be responsible, you +know."</p> + +<p>"But you'll excuse me," pursued Leander; "I don't think you quite +understood me. It isn't only the ring that's gone—it's the statue; and +if you've had it put up anywhere else——"</p> + +<p>"Nonsense!" said the manager; "we don't move our statues about like +chessmen; you've forgotten where you left it, that's all. What was the +statue like?"</p> + +<p>Leander described it as well as he could, and the manager, with a +somewhat altered manner, made him point out the spot where he believed +it to have stood, and they entered the grove together.</p> + +<p>The man gave one rapid glance at the vacant pedestal, and then gripped +Leander by the shoulder, and looked at him long and hard by the feeble +light. "Answer me," he said, roughly; "is this some lark of yours?"</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 347px;"><a name="ANSWER_ME" id="ANSWER_ME"></a> +<img src="images/ill-p31.jpg" width="347" height="500" alt=""ANSWER ME," HE SAID ROUGHLY; "IS THIS SOME LARK OF +YOURS?"" title="" /> +<span class="caption">"ANSWER ME," HE SAID ROUGHLY; "IS THIS SOME LARK OF +YOURS?"</span> +</div> + +<p>"I look larky, don't I?" said poor Tweedle, dolefully. "I thought you'd +be sure to know where it was."</p> + +<p>"I wish to heaven I did!" cried the manager, passionately; "it's those +impudent blackguards.... They've done it under my very nose!"</p> + +<p>"If it's any of your men," suggested Leander, "can't you make them put +it back again?"</p> + +<p>"It's not any of my men. I was warned, and, like a fool, I wouldn't +believe it could be done at a time like this; and now it's too late, and +what am I to say to the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</a></span> inspector? I wouldn't have had this happen for +a thousand pounds!"</p> + +<p>"Well, it's kind of you to feel so put out about it," said Leander. "You +see, what makes the ring so valuable to me——"</p> + +<p>The manager was pacing up and down impatiently, entirely ignoring his +presence.</p> + +<p>"I say," Tweddle repeated, "the reason why that ring's of partickler +importance——"</p> + +<p>"Oh, don't bother <i>me</i>!" said the other, shaking him off. "I don't want +to be uncivil, but I've got to think this out.... Infernal rascals!" he +went on muttering.</p> + +<p>"Have the goodness to hear what I've got to say, though," persisted +Leander. "I'm mixed up in this, whether you like it or not. You seem to +know who's got this figure, and I've a right to be told too. I won't go +till I get that ring back; so now you understand me!"</p> + +<p>"Confound you and your ring!" said the manager. "What's the good of +coming bully-ragging me about your ring? <i>I</i> can't get you your ring! +You shouldn't have been fool enough to put it on one of our statues. You +make me talk to you like this, coming bothering when I've enough on my +mind as it is! Hang it! Can't you see I'm as anxious to get that statue +again as ever you can be? If I don't get it, I may be a ruined man, for +all I know; ain't that enough for you? Look here, take my advice, and +leave me alone before we have words over this. You give me your name and +address, and you may rely on hearing from me as soon as anything turns +up. You can do no good to yourself or any one else by making a row; so +go away quiet like a sensible chap!"</p> + +<p>Leander felt stunned by the blow; evidently there was nothing to be done +but follow the manager's advice. He went to the office with him, and +gave his name and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[Pg 42]</a></span> address in full, and then turned back alone to the +dancing-hall.</p> + +<p>He had lost his ring—no ordinary trinket which he could purchase +anywhere, but one for which he would have to account—and to whom? To +his aunt and Matilda. How could he tell, when there was even a chance of +seeing it again?</p> + +<p>If only he had not allowed himself that waltz; if only he had insisted +upon remaining by the statue until his ring was removed; if only he had +not been such an idiot as to put it on! None of these acts were wrong +exactly; but between them they had brought him to this.</p> + +<p>And the chief person responsible was Miss Ada Parkinson, whom he dared +not reproach; for he was naturally unwilling that this last stage of the +affair should become known. He would have to dissemble, and he rejoined +his party with what he intended for a jaunty air.</p> + +<p>"We've been waiting for you to go away," said Bella. "Where have you +been all this time?"</p> + +<p>He saw with relief that Ada did not appear to have mentioned the statue, +and so he said he had been "strolling about."</p> + +<p>"And Ada left to take care of herself!" said Bella, spitefully. "You are +polite, Mr. Tweddle, I must say!"</p> + +<p>"I haven't complained, Bella, that I know of," said Ada. "And Mr. +Tweddle and I quite understand each other, don't we?"</p> + +<p>"Oh!" said Bella, with an altered manner and a side-glance at James, "I +didn't know. I'm very glad to hear it, I'm sure."</p> + +<p>And then they left the gardens, and, after a substantial meal at a +riverside hotel, started on the homeward<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[Pg 43]</a></span> journey, with the sense that +their expedition had not been precisely a success.</p> + +<p>As before, they had a railway compartment to themselves. Bella declined +to talk, and lay back in her corner with closed eyes and an expression +of undeserved suffering, whilst the unfortunate Jauncy sat silent and +miserable opposite.</p> + +<p>Leander would have liked to be silent too, and think out his position; +but Ada would not hear of this. Her jealous resentment had apparently +vanished, and she was extremely lively and playful in her sallies.</p> + +<p>This reached a pitch when she bent forward, and, in a whisper, which she +did not, perhaps, intend to be quite confidential, said, "Oh, Mr. +Tweddle, you never told me what became of the ring! Is it off at last?"</p> + +<p>"Off? yes!" he said irritably, very nearly adding, "and the statue too."</p> + +<p>"Weren't you very glad!" said she.</p> + +<p>"Uncommonly," he replied grimly.</p> + +<p>"Let me see it again, now you've got it back," she pleaded.</p> + +<p>"You'll excuse me," he said; "but after what has taken place, I can't +show that ring to anybody."</p> + +<p>"Then you're a cross thing!" said Ada, pouting.</p> + +<p>"What's the matter with you two, over there?" asked Bella, sleepily.</p> + +<p>Ada's eyes sparkled with mischief. "Let me tell them; it is too awfully +funny. I <i>must</i>!" she whispered to Leander. "It's all about a ring," she +began, and enjoyed poor Tweddle's evident discomfort.</p> + +<p>"A ring?" cried Bella, waking up. "Don't keep all the fun to yourselves; +we've not had so much of it this evening."</p> + +<p>"Miss Ada," said Leander, in great agitation, "I ask<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[Pg 44]</a></span> you, as a lady, to +treat what has happened this evening in the strictest confidence for the +present!"</p> + +<p>"Secrets, Ada?" cried her sister; "upon my word!"</p> + +<p>"Why, where's the harm, Mr. Tweddle, now it's all settled?" exclaimed +Ada. "Bella, it was only this: he went and put a ring (now do wait till +I've done, Mr. Tweddle!) on a certain person's finger out in those +Rosherwich Gardens (you see, I've not said <i>whose</i> finger)."</p> + +<p>"Hullo, Tweddle!" cried Jauncy, in some bewilderment.</p> + +<p>Leander could only cast a look of miserable appeal at him.</p> + +<p>"Shall I tell them any more, Mr. Tweddle?" said Ada, persistently.</p> + +<p>"I don't think there's any necessity," he pleaded.</p> + +<p>"No more do I," put in Bella, archly. "I think we can guess the rest."</p> + +<p>Ada did not absolutely make any further disclosures that evening; but +for the rest of the journey she amused herself by keeping the +hairdresser in perpetual torment by her pretended revelations, until he +was thoroughly disgusted.</p> + +<p>No longer could he admire her liveliness; he could not even see that she +was good-looking now. "She's nothing but chaff, chaff, chaff!" he +thought. "Thank goodness, Matilda isn't given that way. Chaff before +marriage means nagging after!"</p> + +<p>They reached the terminus at last, when he willingly said farewell to +the other three.</p> + +<p>"Good-bye, Mr. Tweddle," said Bella, in rather a more cordial tone; "I +needn't hope <i>you</i>'ve enjoyed yourself!"</p> + +<p>"You needn't!" he replied, almost savagely.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[Pg 45]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Good night," said Ada; and added in a whisper, "Don't go and dream of +your statue-woman!"</p> + +<p>"If I dream to-night at all," he said, between his teeth, "it will be a +nightmare!"</p> + +<p>"I suppose, Tweddle, old chap," said Jauncy, as he shook hands, "you +know your own affairs best; but, if you meant what you told me coming +down, you've been going it, haven't you?"</p> + +<p>He left Leander wondering impatiently what he meant. Did he know the +truth? Well, everybody might know it before long; there would probably +be a fuss about it all, and the best thing he could do would be to tell +Matilda at once, and throw himself upon her mercy. After all, it was +innocent enough—if she could only be brought to believe it.</p> + +<p>He did not look forward to telling her; and by the time he reached the +Bank and got into an omnibus, he was in a highly nervous state, as the +following incident may serve to show.</p> + +<p>He had taken one of those uncomfortable private omnibuses, where the +passengers are left in unlightened gloom. He sat by the door, and, +occupied as he was by his own misfortunes, paid little attention to his +surroundings.</p> + +<p>But by-and-by, he became aware that the conductor, in collecting the +fares, was trying to attract the notice of some one who sat in the +further corner of the vehicle. "Where are you for, lady, please?" he +asked repeatedly, and at last, "<i>Will</i> somebody ask the lady up the end +where I'm to set her down?" to all of which the eccentric person +addressed returned no reply whatever.</p> + +<p>Leander's attention was thus directed to her; but, although in the +obscurity he could make out nothing but<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[Pg 46]</a></span> a dim form of grey, his nerves +were so unsettled that he felt a curiously uneasy fancy that eyes were +being fixed upon him in the darkness.</p> + +<p>This continued until a moment when some electric lights suddenly flashed +into the omnibus as it passed, and lit up the whole interior with a +ghastly glare, in which the grey female became distinctly visible.</p> + +<p>He caught his breath and shrank into the corner; for in that moment his +excited imagination had traced a strange resemblance to the figure he +had left in Rosherwich Gardens. The inherent improbability of finding a +classical statue seated in an omnibus did not occur to him, in the state +his mind was in just then. He sat there fascinated, until lights shone +in once more, and he saw, or thought he saw, the figure slowly raise her +hand and beckon to him.</p> + +<p>That was enough; he started up with a smothered cry, thrust a coin into +the conductor's hand, and, without waiting for change, flung himself +from the omnibus in full motion.</p> + +<p>When its varnished sides had ceased to gleam in the light of the lamps, +and its lumbering form had been swallowed up in the autumn haze, he +began to feel what a coward his imagination had made of him.</p> + +<p>"My nightmare's begun already," he thought. "Still, she was so +surprisingly like, it did give me a turn. They oughtn't to let such +crazy females into public conveyances!"</p> + +<p>Fortunately his panic had not seized him until he was within a short +distance from Bloomsbury, and it did not take him long to reach Queen +Square and his shop in the passage. He let himself in, and went up to a +little room on an upper floor, which he used as his sitting-room. The +person who "looked after him" did not sleep on<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[Pg 47]</a></span> the premises; but she +had laid a fire and left out his tea-things. "I'll have some tea," he +thought, as he lit the gas and saw them there. "I feel as if I want +cheering up, and it can't make me any more shaky than I am."</p> + +<p>And when his fire was crackling and blazing up, and his kettle beginning +to sing, he felt more cheerful already. What, after all, if it did take +some time to get his ring again? He must make some excuse or other; and, +should the worst come to the worst, "I suppose," he thought, "I could +get another made like it—though, when I come to think of it, I'll be +shot if I remember exactly what it was like, or what the words inside it +were, to be sure about them; still, very likely old Vidler would +recollect, and I dessay it won't turn out to be necessa——What the +devil's that?"</p> + +<p>He had the house to himself after nightfall, and he remembered that his +private door could not be opened now without a special key; yet he could +not help a fancy that some one was groping his way up the staircase +outside.</p> + +<p>"It's only the boards creaking, or the pipes leaking through," he +thought. "I must have the place done up. But I'm as nervous as a cat +to-night."</p> + +<p>The steps were nearer and nearer—they stopped at the door—there was a +loud commanding blow on the panels.</p> + +<p>"Who's here at this time of night?" cried Leander, aloud. "Come in, if +you want to!"</p> + +<p>But the door remained shut, and there came another rap, even more +imperious.</p> + +<p>"I shall go mad if this goes on!" he muttered, and making a desperate +rush to the door, threw it wide open, and then staggered back +panic-stricken.</p> + +<p>Upon the threshold stood a tall figure in classical<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[Pg 48]</a></span> drapery. His eyes +might have deceived him in the omnibus; but here, in the crude gaslight, +he could not be mistaken. It was the statue he had last seen in +Rosherwich Gardens—now, in some strange and wondrous way, +moving—alive!<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[Pg 50]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[Pg 49]</a></span></p> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[Pg 51]</a></span></p><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[Pg 52]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="A_DISTINGUISHED_STRANGER" id="A_DISTINGUISHED_STRANGER"></a>A DISTINGUISHED STRANGER</h2> + +<h3>III.</h3> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 13em;">"How could it be a dream? Yet there</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 13em;">She stood, the moveless image fair!"</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 25em;"><i>The Earthly Paradise.</i></span><br /><br /> +</p> + +<p>With slow and stately tread the statue advanced towards the centre of +the hairdresser's humble sitting-room, and stood there awhile, gazing +about her with something of scornful wonder in her calm cold face. As +she turned her head, the wide, deeply-cut sockets seemed the home of +shadowy eyes; her face, her bared arms, and the long straight folds of +her robe were all of the same greyish-yellow hue; the boards creaked +under her sandalled feet, and Leander felt that he had never heard of a +more appallingly massive ghost—if ghost indeed she were.</p> + +<p>He had retired step by step before her to the hearthrug, where he now +stood shivering, with the fire hot at his back, and his kettle still +singing on undismayed. He made no attempt to account for her presence +there on any rationalistic theory. A statue had suddenly come to life, +and chosen to pay him a nocturnal visit; he knew no more than that, +except that he would have given worlds for courage to show it the door.</p> + +<p>The spectral eyes were bent upon him, as if in<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[Pg 53]</a></span> expectation that he +would begin the conversation, and, at last, with a very unmanageable +tongue, he managed to observe—</p> + +<p>"Did you want to see me on—on business, mum?"</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 350px;"><a name="WANT_TO_SEE_ME" id="WANT_TO_SEE_ME"></a> +<img src="images/ill-p47.jpg" width="350" height="500" alt=""DID YOU WANT TO SEE ME ON—ON BUSINESS, MUM?"" title="" /> +<span class="caption">"DID YOU WANT TO SEE ME ON—ON BUSINESS, MUM?"</span> +</div> + +<p>But the statue only relaxed her lips in a haughty smile.</p> + +<p>"For goodness' sake, say something!" he cried wildly; "unless you want +me to jump out of the winder! What is it you've come about?"</p> + +<p>It seemed to him that in some way a veil had lifted from the stone face, +leaving it illumined by a strange light, and from the lips came a voice +which addressed him in solemn far-away tones, as of one talking in +sleep. He could not have said with certainty that the language was his +own, though somehow he understood her perfectly.</p> + +<p>"You know me not?" she said, with a kind of sad indifference.</p> + +<p>"Well," Leander admitted, as politely as his terror would allow, "you +certingly have the advantage of me for the moment, mum."</p> + +<p>"I am Aphrodite the foam-born, the matchless seed of Ægis-bearing Zeus. +Many names have I amongst the sons of men, and many temples, and I sway +the hearts of all lovers; and gods—yea, and mortals—have burned for +me, a goddess, with an unconsuming, unquenchable fire!"</p> + +<p>"Lor!" said Leander. If he had not been so much flurried, he might have +found a remark worthier of the occasion, but the announcement that she +was a goddess took his breath away. He had quite believed that goddesses +were long since "gone out."</p> + +<p>"You know wherefore I am come hither?" she said.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[Pg 56]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[Pg 55]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[Pg 54]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Not at this minute, I don't," he replied. "You'll excuse me, but you +can't be the statue out of those gardens? You reelly are so surprisingly +like, that I couldn't help asking you."</p> + +<p>"I am Aphrodite, and no statue. Long—how long I know not—have I lain +entranced in slumber in my sea-girt isle of Cyprus, and now again has +the living touch of a mortal hand upon one of my sacred images called me +from my rest, and given me power to animate this marble shell. Some hand +has placed this ring upon my finger. Tell me, was it yours?"</p> + +<p>Leander was almost reassured; after all, he could forgive her for +terrifying him so much, since she had come on so good-natured an errand.</p> + +<p>"Quite correct, mum—miss!" (he wished he knew the proper form for +addressing a goddess) "that ring is my property. I'm sure it's very +civil and friendly of you to come all this way about it," and he held +out his hand for it eagerly.</p> + +<p>"And think you it was for this that I have visited the face of the earth +and the haunts of men, and followed your footsteps hither by roads +strange and unknown to me? You are too modest, youth."</p> + +<p>"I don't know what there is modest in expecting you to behave honest!" +he said, rather wondering at his own audacity.</p> + +<p>"How are you called?" she inquired suddenly on this; and after hearing +the answer, remarked that the name was known to her as that of a goodly +and noble youth who had perished for the sake of Hero.</p> + +<p>"The gentleman may have been a connection of mine, for all I know," he +said; "the Tweddles have always kep' themselves respectable. But I'm not +a hero myself, I'm a hairdresser."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[Pg 57]</a></span></p> + +<p>She repeated the word thoughtfully, though she did not seem to quite +comprehend it; and indeed it is likely enough that, however intelligible +she was to Leander, the understanding was far from being entirely +reciprocal.</p> + +<p>She extended her hand to him, smiling not ungraciously. "Leander," she +said, "cease to tremble, for a great happiness is yours. Bold have you +been; yet am I not angered, for I come. Cast, then, away all fear, and +know that Aphrodite disdains not to accept a mortal's plighted troth!"</p> + +<p>Leander entrenched himself promptly behind the armchair. "I don't know +what you're talking about!" he said. "How can I help fearing, with you +coming down on me like this? Ask yourself."</p> + +<p>"Can you not understand that your prayer is heard?" she demanded.</p> + +<p>"<i>What</i> prayer?" cried Leander.</p> + +<p>"Crass and gross-witted has the world grown!" said she; "a Greek swain +would have needed but few words to divine his bliss. Know, then, that +your suit is accepted; never yet has Aphrodite turned the humblest from +her shrine. By this symbol," and she lightly touched the ring, "you have +given yourself to me. I accept the offering—you are mine!"</p> + +<p>Leander was stupefied by such an unlooked-for misconception. He could +scarcely believe his ears; but he hastened to set himself right at once.</p> + +<p>"If you mean that you were under the impression that I meant anything in +particular by putting that ring on, it was all a mistake, mum," he said. +"I shouldn't have presumed to it!"</p> + +<p>"Were you the lowliest of men, I care not," she replied; "to you I owe +the power I now enjoy of life and vision, nor shall you find me +ungrateful. But forbear<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[Pg 58]</a></span> this false humility; I like it not. Come, then, +Leander, at the bidding of Cypris; come, and fear nothing!"</p> + +<p>But he feared very much, for he had seen the operas of <i>Don Giovanni</i> +and <i>Zampa</i>, and knew that any familiarity with statuary was likely to +have unpleasant consequences. He merely strengthened his defences with a +chair.</p> + +<p>"You must excuse me, mum, you must indeed," he faltered; "I can't come!"</p> + +<p>"Why?" she asked.</p> + +<p>"Because I've other engagements," he replied.</p> + +<p>"I remember," she said slowly, "in the grove, when light met my eyes +once more, there was a maid with you, one who laughed and was merry. +Answer—is she your love?"</p> + +<p>"No, she isn't," he said shortly. "What if she was?"</p> + +<p>"If she were," observed the goddess, with the air of one who mentioned +an ordinary fact, "I should crush her!"</p> + +<p>"Lord bless me!" cried Leander, in his horror. "What for?"</p> + +<p>"Would not she be in my path? and shall any mortal maid stand between me +and my desire?"</p> + +<p>This was a discovery. She was a jealous and vengeful goddess; she would +require to be sedulously humoured, or harm would come.</p> + +<p>"Well, well," he said soothingly, "there's nothing of that sort about +her, I do assure you."</p> + +<p>"Then I spare her," said the goddess. "But how, then, if this be truly +so, do you still shrink from the honour before you?"</p> + +<p>Leander felt a natural unwillingness to explain that it was because he +was engaged to a young lady who kept the accounts at a florist's.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[Pg 59]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Well, the fact is," he said awkwardly, "there's difficulties in the +way."</p> + +<p>"Difficulties? I can remove them all!" she said.</p> + +<p>"Not <i>these</i> you can't, mum. It's like this: You and me, we don't start, +so to speak, from the same basin. I don't mean it as any reproach to +you, but you can't deny you're an Eathen, and, worse than that, an +Eathen goddess. Now all my family have been brought up as chapel folk, +Primitive Methodists, and I've been trained to have a horror of +superstition and idolatries, and see the folly of it. So you can see for +yourself that we shouldn't be likely to get on together!"</p> + +<p>"You talk words," she said impatiently; "but empty are they, and +meaningless to my ears. One thing I learn from them—that you seek to +escape me!"</p> + +<p>"That's putting it too harsh, mum," he protested. "I'm sure I feel the +honour of such a call; and, by the way, do you mind telling me how you +got my address—how you found me out, I mean?"</p> + +<p>"No one remains long hid from the searching eye of the high gods," she +replied.</p> + +<p>"So I should be inclined to say," agreed Leander. "But only tell me +this, wasn't it you in the omnibus? We call our public conveyances +omnibuses, as perhaps you mayn't know."</p> + +<p>"I, sea-born Aphrodite, <i>I</i> in a public conveyance, an omnibus? There is +an impiety in such a question!"</p> + +<p>"Well, I only thought it might have been," he stammered, rather relieved +upon the whole that it was not the goddess who had seen his precipitate +bolt from the vehicle. Who the female in the corner really was, he never +knew; though a man of science might account for the resemblance she bore +to the statue by ascribing it to one of those preparatory impressions +projected<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[Pg 60]</a></span> occasionally by a strong personality upon a weak one. But +Leander was content to leave the matter unexplained.</p> + +<p>"Let it suffice you," she said, "that I am here; and once more, Leander, +are you prepared to fulfil the troth you have plighted?"</p> + +<p>"I—I can't say I am," he said. "Not that I don't feel thankful for +having had the refusal of so very 'igh-class an opportunity; but, as I'm +situated at present—what with the state of trade, and unbelief so +rampant, and all—I'm obliged to decline with respectful thanks."</p> + +<p>He trusted that after this she would see the propriety of going.</p> + +<p>"Have a care!" she said; "you are young and not uncomely, and my heart +pities you. Do nothing rash. Pause, ere you rouse the implacable ire of +Aphrodite!"</p> + +<p>"Thank you," said Leander; "if you'll allow me, I will. I don't want any +ill-feeling, I'm sure. It's my wish to live peaceable with all men."</p> + +<p>"I leave you, then. Use the time before you till I come again in +thinking well whether he acts wisely who spurns the proffered hand of +Idalian Aphrodite. For the present, farewell, Leander!"</p> + +<p>He was overjoyed at his coming deliverance. "Good evening, mum," he +said, as he ran to the door and held it open. "If you'll allow me, I'll +light you down the staircase—it's rather dark, I'm afraid."</p> + +<p>"<i>Fool!</i>,'" she said with scorn, and without stirring from her place; +and, as she spoke the word, the veil seemed to descend over her face +again, the light faded out, and, with a slight shudder, the figure +imperceptibly resumed its normal attitude, the drapery stiffened once +more into chiselled folds, and the statue was soulless as are statues +generally.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[Pg 62]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[Pg 61]</a></span></p> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[Pg 63]</a></span></p><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[Pg 64]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="FROM_BAD_TO_WORSE" id="FROM_BAD_TO_WORSE"></a>FROM BAD TO WORSE</h2> + +<h3>IV.</h3> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 15em;">"And the shadow flits and fleets,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 15em;">And will not let me be,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 15em;">And I loathe the squares and streets!"</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 25em;"><i>Maud.</i></span><br /><br /> +</p> + +<p>For some time after the statue had ceased to give signs of life, the +hairdresser remained gaping, incapable of thought or action. At last he +ventured to approach cautiously, and on touching the figure, found it +perfectly cold and hard. The animating principle had plainly departed, +and left the statue a stone.</p> + +<p>"She's gone," he said, "and left her statue behind her! Well, of all the +<i>goes</i>——She's come out without her pedestal, too! To be sure, it would +have been in her way, walking."</p> + +<p>Seating himself in his shabby old armchair, he tried to collect his +scattered wits. He scarcely realised, even yet, what had happened; but, +unless he had dreamed it all, he had been honoured by the marked +attentions of a marble statue, instigated by a heathen goddess, who +insisted that his affections were pledged to her.</p> + +<p>Perhaps there was a spice of flattery in such a situation—for it cannot +fall to the lot of many hairdressers to be thus distinguished—but +Leander was far too much alarmed to appreciate it. There had been +suggestions<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[Pg 65]</a></span> of menace in the statue's remarks which made him shudder +when he recalled them, and he started violently once or twice when some +wavering of the light gave a play of life to the marble mask. "She's +coming back!" he thought. "Oh, I do wish she wouldn't!" But Aphrodite +continued immovable, and at last he concluded that, as he put it, she +"had done for the evening."</p> + +<p>His first reflection was—what had best be done? The wisest course +seemed to be to send for the manager of the gardens, and restore the +statue while its animation was suspended. The people at the gardens +would take care that it did not get loose again.</p> + +<p>But there was the ring; he must get that off first. Here was an +unhoped-for opportunity of accomplishing this in privacy, and at his +leisure. Again approaching the figure, he tried to draw off the +compromising circle; but it seemed tighter than ever, and he drew out a +pair of scissors and, after a little hesitation, respectfully inserted +it under the hoop and set to work to prize it off, with the result of +snapping both the points, and leaving the ring entirely unaffected. He +glanced at the face; it wore the same dreamy smile, with a touch of +gentle contempt in it. "She don't seem to mind," he said aloud; "to be +sure, she ain't inside of it now, as far as I make it out. I've got all +night before me to get the confounded thing off, and I'll go on till +I've done it!"</p> + +<p>But he laboured on with the disabled scissors, and only succeeded in +scratching the smooth marble a little; he stopped to pant. "There's only one +way," he told himself desperately; "a little diamond cement would make +it all right again; and you expect cracks in a statue."</p> + +<p>Then, after a furtive glance around, he fetched the poker from the +fireplace. He felt horribly brutal, as if<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[Pg 66]</a></span> he were going to mutilate and +maltreat a creature that could feel; but he nerved himself to tap the +back of Aphrodite's hand at the dimpled base of the third finger. The +shock ran up to his elbow, and gave him acute "pins and needles," but +the stone hand was still intact. He struck again—this time with all his +force—and the poker flew from his grasp, and his arm dropped paralyzed +by his side.</p> + +<p>He could scarcely lift it again for some minutes, and the warning made +him refrain from any further violence. "It's no good," he groaned. "If I +go on, I don't know what may happen to me. I must wait till she comes +to, and then ask her for the ring, very polite and civil, and try if I +can't get round her that way."</p> + +<p>He was determined that he would never give her up to the gardens while +she wore his ring; but, in the mean time, he could scarcely leave the +statue standing in the middle of his sitting-room, where it would most +assuredly attract the charwoman's attention.</p> + +<p>He had little cupboards on each side of his fireplace: one of these had +no shelves, and served for storing firewood and bottles of various +kinds. From this he removed the contents, and lifting the statue, which, +possibly because its substance had been affected in some subtle and +inexplicable manner by the vital principle that had so lately permeated +it, proved less ponderous than might have been reasonably expected, he +pushed it well into the recess, and turned the key on it.</p> + +<p>Then he went trembling to bed, and, after an interval of muddled, +anxious thinking, fell into a heavy sleep, which lasted until far into +the morning.</p> + +<p>He woke with the recollection that something unpleasant was hanging over +him, and by degrees he remembered what that something was; but it looked +so<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[Pg 67]</a></span> extravagant in the morning light that he had great hopes all would +turn out to be a mere dream.</p> + +<p>It was a mild Sunday morning, and there were church bells ringing all +around him; it seemed impossible that he could really be harbouring an +animated antique. But to remove all doubt, he stole down, half dressed, +to his small sitting-room, which he found looking as usual—the fire +burning dull and dusty in the sunlight that struck in through the open +window, and his breakfast laid out on the table.</p> + +<p>Almost reassured, he went to the cupboard and unlocked the door. Alas! +it held its skeleton—the statue was there, preserving the attitude of +queenly command in which he had seen it first. Sharply he shut the door +again, and turned the key with a heavy heart.</p> + +<p>He swallowed his breakfast with very little appetite, after which he +felt he could not remain in the house. "To sit here with <i>that</i> in the +cupboard is more than I'm equal to all Sunday," he decided.</p> + +<p>If Matilda had been at his aunt's, with whom she lodged, he would have +gone to chapel with her; but Matilda did not return from her holiday +till late that night. He thought of going to his friend and asking his +advice on his case. James, as a barrister's clerk, would presumably be +able to give a sound legal opinion on an emergency.</p> + +<p>James, however, lived "out Camden Town way," and was certain on so fine +a morning to be away on some Sunday expedition with his betrothed: it +was hopeless to go in search of him now. If he went to see his aunt, who +lived close by in Millman Street, she might ask him about the ring, and +there would be a fuss. He was in no humour for attending any place of +public worship, and so he spent some hours in aimless wandering about +the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[Pg 68]</a></span> streets, which, as foreigners are fond of reminding us, are not +exhilarating even on the brightest Sabbath, and did not raise his +spirits then.</p> + +<p>At last hunger drove him back to the passage in Southampton Row, the +more quickly as it began to occur to him that the statue might possibly +have revived, and be creating a disturbance in the cupboard.</p> + +<p>He had passed the narrow posts, and was just taking out his latchkey, +when some one behind touched his shoulder and made him give a guilty +jump. He dreaded to find the goddess at his elbow; however, to his +relief, he found a male stranger, plainly and respectably dressed.</p> + +<p>"You Mr. Tweddle the hairdresser?" the stranger inquired.</p> + +<p>Leander felt a wild impulse to deny it, and declare that he was his own +friend, and had come to see himself on business, for he was in no social +mood just then; but he ended by admitting that he supposed he was Mr. +Tweddle.</p> + +<p>"So did I. Well, I want a little private talk with you, Mr. Tweddle. +I've been hanging about for some time; but though I knocked and rang, I +couldn't make a soul hear."</p> + +<p>"There isn't a soul inside," protested Tweddle, with unnecessary warmth; +"not a solitary soul! You wanted to talk with me. Suppose we take a turn +round the square?"</p> + +<p>"No, no. I won't keep you out; I'll come in with you!"</p> + +<p>Inwardly wondering what his visitor wanted, Leander led him in and lit +the gas in his hair-cutting saloon. "We shall be cosier here," he said; +for he dared not take the stranger up in the room where the statue was +concealed, for fear of accidents.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[Pg 69]</a></span></p> + +<p>The man sat down in the operating-chair and crossed his legs. "I dare +say you're wondering what I've come about like this on a Sunday +afternoon?" he began.</p> + +<p>"Not at all," said Leander. "Anything I can have the pleasure of doing +for you——"</p> + +<p>"It's only to answer a few questions. I understand you lost a ring at +the Rosherwich Gardens yesterday evening: that's so, isn't it?"</p> + +<p>He was a military looking person, as Leander now perceived, and he had a +close-trimmed iron-grey beard, a high colour, quick eyes, and a stiff +hard-lipped mouth—not at all the kind of man to trifle with. And yet +Leander felt no inclination to tell him his story; the stranger might be +a reporter, and his adventure would "get into the papers"—perhaps reach +Matilda's eyes.</p> + +<p>"I—I dropped a ring last night, certainly," he said; "it may have been +in the gardens, for what I know."</p> + +<p>"Now, now," said the stranger, "don't you <i>know</i> it was in the gardens? +Tell me all about it."</p> + +<p>"Begging your pardon," said Leander, "I should like to know first what +call you have to <i>be</i> told."</p> + +<p>"You're quite right—perfectly right. I always deal straightforwardly +when I can. I'll tell you who I am. I'm Inspector Bilbow, of the +Criminal Investigation Department, Scotland Yard. Now, perhaps, you'll +see I'm not a man to be kept in the dark. And I want you to tell me when +and where you last saw that ring of yours: it's to your own interest, if +you want to see it again."</p> + +<p>But Leander <i>had</i> seen it again, and it seemed certain that all Scotland +Yard could not assist him in getting it back; he must manage it +single-handed.</p> + +<p>"It's very kind of you, Mr. Inspector, to try and find it for me," he +said; "but the fact is, it—it ain't so<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[Pg 70]</a></span> valuable as I fancied. I can't +afford to have it traced—it's not worth it!"</p> + +<p>The inspector laughed. "I never said it was, that I know. The job I'm in +charge of is a bigger concern than your trumpery ring, my friend."</p> + +<p>"Then I don't see what I've got to do with it," said Leander.</p> + +<p>The officer had taken his measure by this time; he must admit his man +into a show of confidence, and appeal to his vanity, if he was to obtain +any information he could rely upon.</p> + +<p>"You're a shrewd chap, I see; 'nothing for nothing' is your motto, eh? +Well, if you help me in this, and put me on the track I want, it'll be a +fine thing for you. You'll be a principal witness at the police-court; +name in the papers; regular advertisement for you!"</p> + +<p>This prospect, had he known it—but even inspectors cannot know +everything—was the last which could appeal to Leander in his peculiar +position. "I don't care for notoriety," he said loftily; "I scorn it."</p> + +<p>"Oho!" said the inspector, shifting his ground. "Well, you don't want to +impede the course of justice, do you?—because that's what you seem to +me to be after, and you won't find it pay in the long run. I'll get this +out of you in a friendly way if I can; if not, some other way. Come, +give me your account, fair and full, of how you came to lose that ring; +there's no help for it—you must!"</p> + +<p>Leander saw this and yielded. After all, it did not much matter, for of +course he would not touch upon the strange sequel of his ill-omened act; +so he told the story faithfully and circumstantially, while the +inspector took it all down in his note-book, questioning him closely +respecting the exact time of each occurrence.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[Pg 71]</a></span></p> + +<p>At last he closed his note-book with a snap. "I'm not obliged to tell +you anything in return for all this," he said; "but I will, and then +you'll see the importance of holding your tongue till I give you leave +to talk about it."</p> + +<p>"<i>I</i> shan't talk about it," said Leander.</p> + +<p>"I don't advise you to. I suppose you've heard of that affair at +Wricklesmarsh Court? What! not that business where a gang broke into the +sculpture gallery, one of the finest private collections in England? You +surprise me!"</p> + +<p>"And what did they steal?" asked Leander.</p> + +<p>"They stole the figure whose finger you were ass enough (if you'll allow +me the little familiarity) to put your ring on. What do you think of +that?"</p> + +<p>A wild rush of ideas coursed through the hairdresser's head. Was this +policeman "after" the goddess upstairs? Did he know anything more? Would +it be better to give up the statue at once and get rid of it? But +then—his ring would be lost for ever!</p> + +<p>"It's surprising," he said at last. "But what did they want to go and +burgle a plaster figure for?"</p> + +<p>"That's where it is, you see; she ain't plaster—she's marble, a genuine +antic of Venus, and worth thousands. The beggars who broke in knew that, +and took nothing else. They'd made all arrangements to get away with her +abroad, and pass her off on some foreign collection before it got blown +upon; and they'd have done it too if we hadn't been beforehand with +them! So what do they do then? They drive up with her to these gardens, +ask to see the manager, and say they're agents for some Fine Arts +business, and have a sample with them, to be disposed of at a low price. +The manager, so he tells me, had a look at it, thought it a neat article +and suitable to the style of his gardens. He took it to be plain +plaster,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[Pg 72]</a></span> as they said, and they put it up for him their own selves, +near the small gate up by the road; then they took the money—a pound or +two they asked for it—and drove away, and he saw no more of them."</p> + +<p>"And was that all they got for their pains?" said Leander.</p> + +<p>The inspector smiled indulgently. "Don't you see your way yet?" he +asked. "Can't you give a guess where that statue's got to now, eh?"</p> + +<p>"No," said Leander, with what seemed to the inspector a quite +uncalled-for excitement, "of course I can't! What do you ask me for? How +should I know?"</p> + +<p>"Quite so," said the other; "you want a mind trained to deal with these +things. It may surprise you to hear it, but I know as well how that +statue disappeared, and what was done with her, as if I'd been there!"</p> + +<p>"Do you, though?" thought Leander, who was beginning to doubt whether +his visitor's penetration was anything so abnormal. "What was done with +her?" he asked.</p> + +<p>"Why, it was a plant from the first. They knew all their regular holes +were stopped, and they wanted a place to dump her down in, where she +wouldn't attract attention, till they could call for her again; so they +got her taken in at the gardens, where they could come in any time by +the gate and fetch her off again—and very neatly it was done, too!"</p> + +<p>"But where do you make out they've taken her to now?" asked Leander, who +was naturally anxious to discover if the official had any suspicions of +him.</p> + +<p>"I've my own theory about that," was his answer. "I shall hunt that +Venus down, sir; I'll stake my reputation on it."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[Pg 73]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Venus is her name, it seems," thought Leander. "She told me it was +Aphrodite. But perhaps the other's her Christian name. It can't be the +Venus I've seen pictures of—she's dressed too decent."</p> + +<p>"Yes," repeated the inspector, "I shall hunt her down now. I don't envy +the poor devil who's giving her house-room; he'll have reason to repent +it!"</p> + +<p>"How do you know any one's giving her house-room?" inquired Leander; +"and why should he repent it?"</p> + +<p>"Ask your own common sense. They daren't take her back to any of their +own places; they know better. They haven't left the country with her. +What remains? They've bribed or got over some mug of an outsider to be +their accomplice, and a bad speculation he'll find it, too."</p> + +<p>"What would be done to him?" asked the hairdresser, with a quite +unpleasant internal sensation.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 348px;"><a name="WHAT_WOULD_BE_DONE" id="WHAT_WOULD_BE_DONE"></a> +<img src="images/ill-p67.jpg" width="348" height="500" alt=""WHAT WOULD BE DONE TO HIM?" ASKED THE HAIRDRESSER, WITH +A QUITE UNPLEASANT INTERNAL SENSATION." title="" /> +<span class="caption">"WHAT WOULD BE DONE TO HIM?" ASKED THE HAIRDRESSER, WITH +A QUITE UNPLEASANT INTERNAL SENSATION.</span> +</div> + +<p>"That is a question I wouldn't pretend to decide; but I've no hesitation +in saying that the party on whose premises that statue is discovered +will wish he'd died before he ever set eyes on her."</p> + +<p>"You're quite right there!" said Leander. "Well, sir, I'm afraid I +haven't been much assistance to you."</p> + +<p>"Never mind that," said the inspector, encouragingly; "you've answered +my questions; you've not hindered the law, and that's a game some burn +their fingers at."</p> + +<p>Leander let him out, and returned to his saloon with his head in a worse +whirl than before. He did not think the detective suspected him. He was +clearly barking up the wrong tree at present; but so acute a mind could +not be long deceived, and if once Leander was implicated his guilt would +appear beyond denial. Would the police believe that the statue had run +after him? No one<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_76" id="Page_76">[Pg 76]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[Pg 75]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[Pg 74]</a></span> would believe it! To be found in possession of that +fatal work of art would inevitably ruin him.</p> + +<p>He might carry her away to some lonely spot and leave her, but where was +the use? She would only come back again; or he might be taken in the +act. He dared not destroy her; his right arm had been painful all day +after that last attempt.</p> + +<p>If he gave her up to the authorities, he would have to explain how he +came to be in a position to do so, which, as he now saw, would be a +difficult undertaking; and even then he would lose all chance of +recovering his ring in time to satisfy his aunt and Matilda. There was +no way out of it, unless he could induce Venus to give up the token and +leave him alone.</p> + +<p>"Cuss her!" he said angrily; "a pretty bog she's led me into, she and +that minx, Ada Parkinson!"</p> + +<p>He felt so thoroughly miserable that hunger had vanished, and he dreaded +the idea of an evening at home, though it was a blusterous night, with +occasional vicious spirts of rain, and by no means favourable to +continued pacing of streets and squares.</p> + +<p>"I'm hanged if I don't think I'll go to church!" he thought; "and +perhaps I shall feel more equal to supper afterwards."</p> + +<p>He went upstairs to get his best hat and overcoat, and was engaged in +brushing the former in his sitting-room, when from within the cupboard +he heard a shower of loud raps.</p> + +<p>His knees trembled. "She's wuss than any ghost!" he thought; but he took +no notice, and went on brushing his hat, while he endeavoured to hum a +hymn.</p> + +<p>"Leander!" cried the clear, hard voice he knew too well, "I have +returned. Release me!"</p> + +<p>His first idea was to run out of the house and seek<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[Pg 77]</a></span> sanctuary in some +pew in the opposite church. "But there," he thought disgustedly, "she'd +only come in and sit next to me. No, I'll pluck up a spirit and have it +out with her!" and he threw open the door.</p> + +<p>"How have you dared to imprison me in this narrow tomb?" she demanded +majestically, as she stepped forth.</p> + +<p>Leander cringed. "It's a nice roomy cupboard," he said. "I thought +perhaps you wouldn't mind putting up with it, especially as you invited +yourself," he could not help adding.</p> + +<p>"When I found myself awake and in utter darkness," she said, "I thought +you had buried me beneath the soil."</p> + +<p>"Buried you!" he exclaimed, with a sudden perception that he might do +worse.</p> + +<p>"And in that thought I was preparing to invoke the forces that lie below +the soil to come to my aid, burst the masses that impeded me, and +overwhelm you and all this ugly swarming city in one vast ruin!"</p> + +<p>"I won't bury her," Leander decided. "I'm sorry you hadn't a better +opinion of me, mum," he said aloud. "You see, how you came to be in +there was this way: when you went out, like the snuff of a candle, so to +speak, you left your statue standing in the middle of the floor, and I +had to put it somewhere where it wouldn't be seen."</p> + +<p>"You did well," she said indulgently, "to screen my image from the +vulgar sight; and if you had no statelier shrine wherein to instal it, +the fault lies not with you. You are pardoned."</p> + +<p>"Thank you, mum," said Leander; "and now let me ask you if you intend to +animate that statue like this as a regular thing?"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[Pg 78]</a></span></p> + +<p>"So long as your obstinacy continues, or until it outlives my +forbearance, I shall return at intervals," she said. "Why do you ask +this?"</p> + +<p>"Well," said Leander, with a sinking heart, but hoping desperately to +move her by the terrors of the law, "it's my duty to tell you that that +image you're in is stolen property."</p> + +<p>"Has it been stolen from one of my temples?" she asked.</p> + +<p>"I dare say—I don't know; but there's the police moving heaven and +earth to get you back again!"</p> + +<p>"He is good and pious—the police, and if I knew him I would reward +him."</p> + +<p>"There's a good many hims in the police—that's what we call our guards +for the street, who take up thieves and bad characters; and, being +stolen, they're all of 'em after <i>you</i>; and if they had a notion where +you were, they'd be down on you, and back you'd go to wherever you've +come from—some gallery, I believe, where you wouldn't get away again in +a hurry! Now, I tell you what it is, if you don't give me up that ring, +and go away and leave me in quiet, I'll tell the police who you are and +where you are. I mean what I say, by George I do!"</p> + +<p>"We know not George, nor will it profit you to invoke him now," said the +goddess. "See, I will deign to reason with you as with some froward +child. Think you that, should the guards seize my image, <i>I</i> should +remain within, or that it is aught to me where this marble presentment +finds a resting-place while I am absent therefrom? But for you, should +you surrender it into their hands, would there be no punishment for your +impiety in thus concealing a divine effigy?"</p> + +<p>"She ain't no fool!" thought Leander; "she mayn't<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[Pg 79]</a></span> understand our ways, +but she's a match for me notwithstanding. I must try another line."</p> + +<p>"Lady Venus," he began, "if that's the proper way to call you, I didn't +mean any threats—far from it. I'll be as humble as you please. You look +a good-natured lady; you wouldn't want to make a man uncomfortable, I'm +sure. Do give me back that ring, for mercy's sake! If I haven't got it +to show in a day or two, I shall be ruined!"</p> + +<p>"Should any mortal require the ring of you, you have but to reply, 'I +have placed it upon the finger of Aphrodite, whose spouse I am!' Thus +will you have honour amongst mortals, being held blameless!"</p> + +<p>"Blameless!" cried Leander, in pardonable exasperation. "That's all you +know about it! And what am I to say to the lady it lawfully belongs to?"</p> + +<p>"You have lied to me, then, and you are already affianced! Tell me the +abode of this maiden of yours."</p> + +<p>"What do you want it for?" he inquired, hoping faintly she might intend +to restore the ring.</p> + +<p>"To seek it out, to go to her abode, to crush her! Is she not my rival?"</p> + +<p>"Crush my Matilda?" he cried in agony. "You'll never do such a thing as +that?"</p> + +<p>"You have revealed her name! I have but to ask in your streets, 'Where +abideth Matilda, the beloved of Leander, the dresser of hair? Lead me to +her dwelling.' And having arrived thereat, I shall crush her, and thus +she shall deservedly perish!"</p> + +<p>He was horrified at the possible effects of his slip, which he hastened +to repair. "You won't find it so easy to come at her, luckily," he said; +"there's hundreds of Matildas in London alone."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[Pg 80]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Then," said the goddess, sweetly and calmly, "it is simple: I shall +crush them all."</p> + +<p>"Oh, lor!" whimpered Leander, "here's a bloodthirsty person! Where's the +sense of doing that?"</p> + +<p>"Because, dissipated reveller that you are, you love them."</p> + +<p>"Now, when did I ever say I loved them? I don't even know more than two +or three, and those I look on as sisters—in fact" (here he hit upon a +lucky evasion) "they <i>are</i> sisters—it's only another name for them. +I've a brother and three Matildas, and here are you talking of crushing +my poor sisters as if they were so many beadles—all for nothing!"</p> + +<p>"Is this the truth? Palter not with me! You are pledged to no mortal +bride?"</p> + +<p>"I'm a bachelor. And as for the ring, it belongs to my aunt, who's over +fifty."</p> + +<p>"Then no one stands between us, and you are mine!"</p> + +<p>"Don't talk so ridiculous! I tell you I ain't yours—it's a free +country, this is!"</p> + +<p>"If I—an immortal—can stoop thus, it becomes you not to reject the +dazzling favour."</p> + +<p>A last argument occurred to him. "But I reelly don't think, mum," he +said persuasively, "that you can be quite aware of the extent of the +stoop. The fact is, I am, as I've tried to make you understand, a +hairdresser; some might lower themselves so far as to call me a barber. +Now, hairdressing, whatever may be said for it" (he could not readily +bring himself to decry his profession)—"hairdressing is considribly +below you in social rank. I wouldn't deceive you by saying otherwise. I +assure you that, if you had any ideer what a barber was, you wouldn't be +so pressing."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[Pg 81]</a></span></p> + +<p>She seemed to be struck by this. "You say well!" she observed, +thoughtfully; "your occupation may be base and degrading, and if so, it +were well for me to know it."</p> + +<p>"If you were once to see me in my daily avocations," he urged, "you'd +see what a mistake you're making."</p> + +<p>"Enough! I will see you—and at once. Barb, that I may know the nature +of your toil!"</p> + +<p>"I can't do that now," he objected; "I haven't got a customer."</p> + +<p>"Then fetch one, and barb with it immediately. You must have your tools +by you; so delay not!"</p> + +<p>"A customer ain't a tool!" he groaned, "it's a fellow-man; and no one +will come in to-night, because it's Sunday. (Don't ask me what Sunday +is, because you wouldn't understand if I tried to tell you!) And I don't +carry on my business up here, but below in the saloon."</p> + +<p>"I will go thither and behold you."</p> + +<p>"No!" he exclaimed. "Do you want to ruin me?"</p> + +<p>"I will make no sign; none shall recognise me for what I am. But come I +will!"</p> + +<p>Leander pondered awhile. There was danger in introducing the goddess +into his saloon; he had no idea what she might do there. But at the same +time, if she were bent upon coming, she would probably do so in any +case; and besides, he felt tolerably certain that what she would see +would convince her of his utter unsuitability as a consort.</p> + +<p>Yes, it was surely wisest to assist necessity, and obtain the most +favourable conditions for the inevitable experiment.</p> + +<p>"I might put you in a corner of the operating-room, to be sure," he said +thoughtfully. "No one would think but what you was part of the fittings, +unless you went moving about."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[Pg 82]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Place me where I may behold you at your labour, and there I will +remain," she said.</p> + +<p>"Well," he conceded, "I'll risk it. The best way would be for you to +walk down to the saloon, and leave yourself ready in a corner till you +come to again. I can't carry a heavy marble image all that way!"</p> + +<p>"So be it," said she, and followed him to the saloon with a proud +docility.</p> + +<p>"It's nicely got up," he remarked, as they reached it; "and you'll find +it roomier than the cupboard."</p> + +<p>She deigned no answer as she remained motionless in the corner he had +indicated; and presently, as he held up the candle he was carrying, he +found its rays were shining upon a senseless stone.</p> + +<p>He went upstairs again, half fearful, half sanguine. "I don't altogether +like it," he was thinking. "But if I put a print wrapper over her all +day, no one will notice. And goddesses must have their proper pride. If +she once gets it into her marble head that I keep a shop, I think that +she'll turn up her nose at me. And then she'll give back the ring and go +away, and I shan't be afraid of the police; and I needn't tell Tillie +anything about it. It's worth risking."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[Pg 84]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[Pg 83]</a></span></p> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[Pg 85]</a></span></p><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[Pg 86]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="AN_EXPERIMENT" id="AN_EXPERIMENT"></a>AN EXPERIMENT</h2> + +<h4>V.</h4> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 13em;">"'Tis time; descend; be stone no more; approach:</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 13em;">Strike all that look upon with marvel."</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 25em;"><i>The Winter's Tale.</i></span><br /><br /> +</p> + +<p>The next day brought Leander a letter which made his heart beat with +mingled emotions—it was from his Matilda. It had evidently been written +immediately before her return, and told him that she would be at their +old meeting-place (the statue of Fox in Bloomsbury Square) at eight +o'clock that evening.</p> + +<p>The wave of tenderness which swept over him at the anticipation of this +was hurled back by an uncomfortable thought. What if Matilda were to +refer to the ring? But no; his Matilda would do nothing so indelicate.</p> + +<p>All through the day he mechanically went through his hairdressing, +singeing, and shampooing operations, divided between joy at the prospect +of seeing his adored Matilda again, and anxiety respecting the cold +marble swathed in the print wrapper, which stood in the corner of his +hair-cutting saloon.</p> + +<p>He glanced at it every time he went past to change a brush or heat a +razor, but there was no sign of movement under the folds, and he +gradually became reassured, especially as it excited no remark.</p> + +<p>But as evening drew on he felt that, for the success of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[Pg 87]</a></span> his experiment, +it was necessary that the cover should be removed. It was dangerous, +supposing the inspector were to come in unexpectedly and recognise the +statue; but he could only trust to fortune for that, and hoped, too, +that even if the detective came he would be able to keep him in the +outer shop.</p> + +<p>It was only for one evening, and it was well worth the risk.</p> + +<p>A foreign gentleman had come in, and the hairdresser found that a fresh +wrapper was required, which gave him the excuse he wanted for unveiling +the Aphrodite. He looked carefully at the face as he uncovered it, but +could discover no speculation as yet in the calm, full gaze of the +goddess.</p> + +<p>The foreign gentleman was inclined to be talkative under treatment, and +the conversation came round to public amusements.</p> + +<p>"In my country," the customer said, without mentioning or betraying what +his particular country was—"in my country we have what you have not, +places to sit out in the fresh air, and drink a glass of beer, along +with the entertainments. You have not that in London?"</p> + +<p>"Bless your soul, yes," said Leander, who was a true patriot, "plenty of +them!"</p> + +<p>"Oh, I did not aware that; but who?"</p> + +<p>"Well," said the hairdresser, "there's the Eagle in the City Road, for +one; and there's the Surrey Gardens; and there's Rosherwich," he added, +after a pause. (The Fisheries Exhibition, it may be said, was as yet +unknown.)</p> + +<p>"And you go there, often?"</p> + +<p>"I've been to Rosherwich."</p> + +<p>"Was it goot there—you laike it, eh?"</p> + +<p>"Well," said Leander, "they tell me it's very gay in<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[Pg 88]</a></span> the season. +P'rhaps I went at the wrong time of the year for it."</p> + +<p>"What you call wrong time for it?"</p> + +<p>"Slack—nothing going on," he explained; "like it was when I went last +Saturday."</p> + +<p>"You went last Saturday? And you stay a long time?"</p> + +<p>"I didn't stay no longer than I could help," Leander said. "All our +party was glad to get away."</p> + +<p>The foreigner had risen to go, when his eyes fell on the Venus in the +corner.</p> + +<p>"You did not stay long, and your party was glad to come away?" he +repeated absently. "I am not surprised at that." He gave the hairdresser +a long stare as he spoke. "No, I am not surprised.... You have a good +taste, my friend; you laike the antique, do you not?" he broke off +suddenly.</p> + +<p>"Ah! you are looking at the Venus, sir," said Leander. "Yes, I'm very +partial to it."</p> + +<p>"It is a taste that costs," his customer said.</p> + +<p>He looked back over his shoulder as he left the shop, and once more +repeated softly, "Yes, it is a taste that costs."</p> + +<p>"I suppose," Leander reflected as he went back, "it does strike people +as queer, my keeping that statue there; but it's only for one evening."</p> + +<p>The foreigner had scarcely left when an old gentleman, a regular +customer, looked in, on his way from the City, and at once noticed the +innovation. He was an old gentleman who had devoted much time and study +to Art, in the intervals of business, and had developed critical powers +of the highest order.</p> + +<p>He walked straight up to the Venus, and stuck out his under lip. "Where +did you get that thing?" he<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[Pg 89]</a></span> inquired. "Isn't this place of yours small +enough, without lumbering it up with statuary out of the Euston Road?"</p> + +<p>"I didn't get it there," said Leander. "I—I thought it would be 'andy +to 'ang the 'ats on."</p> + +<p>"Dear, dear," said the old gentleman, "why do you people dabble in +matters you don't understand? Come here, Tweddle, and let me show you. +Can't you <i>see</i> what a miserable sham the thing is—a cheap, tawdry +imitation of the splendid classic type? Why, by merely exhibiting such a +thing, you're vitiating public taste, sir—corrupting it."</p> + +<p>Leander did not quite follow this rebuke, which he thought was probably +based upon the goddess's antecedents.</p> + +<p>"Was she reelly as bad as that, sir?" he said. "I wasn't aware so, or I +shouldn't give any offence to customers by letting her stay here."</p> + +<p>As he spoke he saw the indefinable indications in the statue's face +which denoted that it was instinct once more with life and intelligence, +and he was horrified at the thought that the latter part of the +conversation might have been overheard.</p> + +<p>"But I've always understood," he said, hastily, "that the party this +represents was puffickly correct, however free some of the others might +have been; and I suppose that's the costume of the period she's in, and +very becoming it is, I'm sure, though gone out since."</p> + +<p>"Bah!" said the old gentleman, "it's poor art. I'll show you <i>where</i> the +thing is bad. I happen to understand something of these things. Just +observe how the top of the head is out of drawing; look at the lowness +of the forehead, and the distance between the eyes; all the canons of +proportion ignored—absolutely ignored!"</p> + +<p>What further strictures this rash old gentleman was<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[Pg 90]</a></span> preparing to pass +upon the statue will never be known now, for Tweddle already thought he +could discern a growing resentment in her face, under so much candour. +He could not stand by and allow so excellent a customer to be crushed on +the floor of his saloon, and he knew the Venus quite capable of this: +was she not perpetually threatening such a penalty, on much slighter +provocation?</p> + +<p>He rushed between the unconscious man and his fate. "I think you said +your hair cut?" he said, and laid violent hands upon the critic, forced +him protesting into a chair, throttled him with a towel, and effectually +diverted his attention by a series of personal remarks upon the top of +his head.</p> + +<p>The victim, while he was being shampooed, showed at first an alarming +tendency to revert to the subject of the goddess's defects, but Leander +was able to keep him in check by well-timed jets of scalding water and +ice-cold sprays, which he directed against his customer's exposed crown, +until every idea, except impotent rage, was washed out of it, while a +hard machine brush completed the subjugation.</p> + +<p>Finally, the unfortunate old man staggered out of the shop, preserved by +Leander's unremitting watchfulness from the wrath of the goddess. Yet, +such is the ingratitude of human nature, that he left the place vowing +to return no more. "I thought I'd got a <i>clown</i> behind me, sir!" he used +to say afterwards, in describing it.</p> + +<p>Before Leander could recover from the alarm he had been thrown into, +another customer had entered; a pale young man, with a glossy hat, a +white satin necktie, and a rather decayed gardenia. He, too, was one of +Tweddle's regular clients. What his occupation might be was a mystery, +for he aimed at being considered a man of pleasure.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[Pg 91]</a></span></p> + +<p>"I say, just shave me, will you?" he said, and threw himself languidly +into a chair. "Fact is, Tweddle, I've been so doosid chippy for the last +two days, I daren't touch a razor."</p> + +<p>"Indeed, sir!" said Leander, with respectful sympathy.</p> + +<p>"You see," explained the youth, "I've been playing the goat—the giddy +goat. Know what that means?"</p> + +<p>"I used to," said Leander; "I never touch alcoholic stimulants now, +myself."</p> + +<p>"Wish I didn't. I say, Tweddle, have you been to the Cosmopolitan +lately?"</p> + +<p>"I don't go to music-'alls now," said Leander; "I've give up all that +now I'm keeping company."</p> + +<p>"Well, you go and see the new ballet," the youth exhorted him earnestly; +not that he cared whether the hairdresser went or not, but because he +wanted to talk about the ballet to somebody.</p> + +<p>"Ah!" observed Leander; "is that a good one they've got there now, sir?"</p> + +<p>"Rather think so. Ballet called <i>Olympus</i>. There's a regular ripping +little thing who comes on as one of Venus's doves." And the youth went +on to intimate that the dove in question had shown signs of being struck +by his powers of fascination. "I saw directly that I'd mashed her; she +was gone, dead gone, sir; and——I say, who's that in the corner over +there—eh?"</p> + +<p>He was staring intently into the pier-glass in front of him. "That?" +said Leander, following his glance. "Oh! that's a statue I've bought. +She—she brightens up the place a bit, don't she?"</p> + +<p>"A statue, is it? Yes, of course; I knew it was a statue. Well, about +that dove. I went round after it was all over, but couldn't see a sign +of her; so——That's<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[Pg 94]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[Pg 93]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[Pg 92]</a></span> a queer sort of statue you've got there!" he +broke off suddenly; and Leander distinctly saw the goddess shake her arm +in fierce menace. "He's said something that's put her out," he +concluded. "I wish I knew what it was."</p> + +<p>"It's a classical statue, sir," he said, with what composure he might; +"they're all made like that."</p> + +<p>"Are they, by Jove? But, Tweddle, I say, it <i>moves</i>: it's shaking its +fist like old Harry!"</p> + +<p>"Oh, I think you're mistaken, sir, really! I don't perceive it myself."</p> + +<p>"Don't perceive it? But, hang it, man, look—look in the glass! There! +don't you see it does? Dash it! can't you <i>say</i> it does?"</p> + +<p>"Flaw in the mirror, sir; when you move your 'ed, you do ketch that +effect. I've observed it myself frequent. Chin cut, sir? My fault—my +fault entirely," he admitted handsomely.</p> + +<p>The young man was shaved by this time, and had risen to receive his hat +and cane, when he gave a violent start as he passed the Aphrodite. +"There!" he said, breathlessly, "look at that, Tweddle; she's going to +punch my head! I suppose you'll tell me <i>that's</i> the glass?"</p> + +<p>Leander trembled—this time for his own reputation; for the report that +he kept a mysterious and pugnacious statue on the premises would not +increase his custom. He must silence it, if possible. "I'm afraid it is, +sir—in a way," he remarked, compassionately.</p> + +<p>The young man turned paler still. "No!" he exclaimed. "You don't think +it is, though? Don't you see anything yourself? I don't either, Tweddle; +I was chaffing, that's all. I know I'm a wee bit off colour; but it's +not so bad as that. Keep off! Tell her to drop it, Tweddle!"</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[Pg 95]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 351px;"><a name="KEEP_OFF" id="KEEP_OFF"></a> +<img src="images/ill-p85.jpg" width="351" height="500" alt=""KEEP OFF! TELL HER TO DROP IT, TWEDDLE!"" title="" /> +<span class="caption">"KEEP OFF! TELL HER TO DROP IT, TWEDDLE!"</span> +</div> + +<p>For, as he spoke, the goddess had made a stride towards him. "Miserable +one!" she cried, "you have mangled one of my birds. Hence, or I crush +thee!"</p> + +<p>"Tweddle! Tweddle!" cried the youth, taking refuge in the other shop, +"don't let her come after me! What's she talking about, eh? You +shouldn't have these things about; they're—they're not <i>right</i>!"</p> + +<p>Leander shut the glass door and placed himself before it, while he tried +to assume a concerned interest. "You take my advice, sir," he said; "you +go home and keep steady."</p> + +<p>"Is it that?" murmured the customer. "Great Scott! I must be bad!" and +he went out into the street, shaking.</p> + +<p>"I don't believe I shall ever see <i>him</i> again, either," thought Leander. +"She'll drive 'em all away if she goes on like this." But here a sudden +recollection struck him, and he slapped his thigh with glee. "Why, of +course," he said, "that's it. I've downright disgusted her; it was me +she was most put out with, and after this she'll leave me alone. Hooray! +I'll shut up everything first and get rid of the boy, and then go in and +see her, and get away to Matilda."</p> + +<p>When the shop was secured for the night, he re-entered the saloon with a +light step. "Well, mum," he began, "you've seen me at work, and you've +thought better of what you were proposing, haven't you now?"</p> + +<p>"Where is the wretched stripling who dared to slay my dove?" she cried. +"Bring him to me!"</p> + +<p>"What <i>are</i> you a-talking about now?" cried the bewildered Leander. +"Who's been touching your birds? I wasn't aware you <i>kept</i> birds."</p> + +<p>"Many birds are sacred to me—the silver swan, the fearless sparrow, +and, chief of all, the coral-footed dove.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[Pg 96]</a></span> And one of these has that +monster slain—his own mouth hath spoken it."</p> + +<p>"Oh! is that all?" said Leander. "Why, he wasn't talking about a real +dove; it was a ballet girl he meant. I can't explain the difference; but +they <i>are</i> different. And it's all talk, too. I know him; <i>he's</i> +harmless enough. And now, mum, to come to the point; you've now had the +opportunity of forming some ideer of my calling. You've thought better +of it, haven't you?"</p> + +<p>"Better! ay, far better!" she cried, in a voice that thrilled with +pride. "Leander, too modestly you have rated yourself, for surely you +are great amongst the sons of men."</p> + +<p>"<i>Me!</i>" he gasped, utterly overcome. "How do you make that out?"</p> + +<p>"Do you not compel them to furnish sport for you? Have I not seen them +come in, talking boldly and loud, and yet seat themselves submissively +at a sign from you? And do you not swathe them in the garb of +humiliation, and daub their countenances with whiteness, and threaten +their bared throats with the gleaming knife, and grind their heads under +the resistless wheel? Then, having in disdain granted them their +worthless lives, you set them free; and they propitiate you with a gift, +and depart trembling."</p> + +<p>"Well, of all the topsy-turvy contrariness!" he protested. "You've got +it <i>all</i> wrong; I declare you have! But I'll put you right, if it's +possible to do it." And he launched into a lengthy explanation of the +wonders she had seen, at the end of which he inquired, "<i>Now</i> do you +understand I'm nobody in particular?"</p> + +<p>"It may be so," she admitted; "but what of that? Ere this have I been +wild with love for a herdsman on Phrygian hills. Aye, Adonis have I +kissed in the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97">[Pg 97]</a></span> oakwood, and bewailed his loss. And did not Selene +descend to woo the neatherd Endymion? Wherefore, then, should I scorn +thee? and what are the differences and degrees of mortals to such as I! +Be bold; distrust your merits no longer, since I, who amongst the +goddesses obtained the prize of beauty, have chosen you for my own."</p> + +<p>"I don't care what prizes you won," he said, sulkily; "I'm not yours, +and I don't intend to be, either." He was watching the clock impatiently +all the while, for it was growing very near nine.</p> + +<p>"It is vain to struggle," she said, "since not the gods themselves can +resist Fate. We must yield, and contend not."</p> + +<p>"You begin it, then," he said. "Give me my ring."</p> + +<p>"The sole symbol of my power! the charm which has called me from my long +sleep! Never!"</p> + +<p>"Then," said Leander, knowing full well that his threat was an +impossible one, "I shall place the matter in the hands of a respectable +lawyer."</p> + +<p>"I understand you not; but it is no matter. In time I shall prevail."</p> + +<p>"Well, mum, you must come again another evening, if you've no +objection," said Leander, rudely, "because I've got to go out just now."</p> + +<p>"I will accompany you," she said.</p> + +<p>Leander nearly danced with frenzy. Take the statue with him to meet his +dear Matilda! He dared not. "You're very kind," he stammered, perspiring +freely; "but I couldn't think of taking you out such a foggy evening."</p> + +<p>"Have no cares for me," she answered; "we will go together. You shall +explain to me the ways of this changed world."</p> + +<p>"Catch <i>me</i>!" was Leander's elliptical comment to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98">[Pg 98]</a></span> himself; but he had +to pretend a delighted acquiescence. "Well," he cried, "if I hadn't been +thinking how lonely it would be going out alone! and now I shall have +the honour of your company, mum. You wait a bit here, while I run +upstairs and fetch my 'at."</p> + +<p>But the perfidious man only waited until he was on the other side of the +door, which led from the saloon to his staircase, to lock it after him, +and slip out by the private door into the street.</p> + +<p>"Now, my lady," he thought triumphantly, "you're safe for awhile, at all +events. I've put up the shutters, and so you won't get out that way. And +now for Tillie!"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[Pg 100]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[Pg 99]</a></span></p> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[Pg 101]</a></span></p><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_102" id="Page_102">[Pg 102]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="TWO_ARE_COMPANY" id="TWO_ARE_COMPANY"></a>TWO ARE COMPANY</h2> + +<h3>VI.</h3> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 24em;">"The shape</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 16em;">Which has made escape,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 16em;">And before my countenance</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 16em;">Answers me glance for glance."</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 25em;"><i>Mesmerism.</i></span><br /><br /> +</p> + +<p>Leander hastened eagerly to his trysting-place. All these obstacles and +difficulties had rendered his Matilda tenfold dearer and more precious +to him; and besides, it was more than a fortnight since he had last seen +her. But he was troubled and anxious still at the recollection of the +Greek statue shut up in his hair-cutting saloon. What would Matilda say +if she knew about it; and still worse, what might it not do if it knew +about her? Matilda might decline to continue his acquaintance—for she +was a very right-minded girl—unless Venus, like the jealous and +vindictive heathen she had shown herself to be, were to crush her before +she even had the opportunity.</p> + +<p>"It's a mess," he thought disconsolately, "whatever way I look at it. +But after to-night I won't meet Matilda any more while I've got that +statue staying with me, or no one could tell the consequences." However, +when he drew near the appointed spot, and saw the slender form which +awaited him there by the railings, he forgot all but<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[Pg 103]</a></span> the present joy. +Even the memory of the terrible divinity could not live in the wholesome +presence of the girl he had the sense to truly and honestly love.</p> + +<p>Matilda Collum was straight and slim, though not tall; she had a neat +little head of light brown hair, which curled round her temples in soft +rings; her complexion was healthily pale, with the slightest tinge of +delicate pink in it; she had a round but decided chin, and her grey eyes +were large and innocently severe, except on the rare occasions when she +laughed, and then their expression was almost childlike in its gaiety.</p> + +<p>Generally, and especially in business hours, her pretty face was calm +and slightly haughty, and rash male customers who attempted to make the +choice of a "button-hole" an excuse for flirtation were not encouraged +to persevere. She was seldom demonstrative to Leander—it was not her +way—but she accepted his effusive affection very contentedly, and, +indeed, returned it more heartily than her principles allowed her to +admit; for she secretly admired his spirit and fluency, and, as is often +the case in her class of life, had no idea that she was essentially her +lover's superior.</p> + +<p>After the first greetings, they walked slowly round the square together, +his arm around her waist. Neither said very much for some minutes, but +Leander was wildly, foolishly happy, and there was no severity in +Matilda's eyes when they shone in the lamp-light.</p> + +<p>"Well," he said, at last, "and so I've actually got you safe back again, +my dear, darling Tillie! It seems like a long eternity since last we +met. I've been so beastly miserable, Matilda!"</p> + +<p>"You do seem to have got thinner in the face, Leander dear," said +Matilda, compassionately. "What <i>have</i> you been doing while I've been +away?"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[Pg 104]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Only wishing my dearest girl back, that's all <i>I've</i> been doing."</p> + +<p>"What! haven't you given yourself any enjoyment at all—not gone out +anywhere all the time?"</p> + +<p>"Not once—leastwise, that is to say——" A guilty memory of Rosherwich +made him bungle here.</p> + +<p>"Why, of course I didn't expect you to stop indoors all the time," said +Matilda, noticing the amendment, "so long as you never went where you +wouldn't take me."</p> + +<p>Oh, conscience, conscience! But Rosherwich didn't count—it was outside +the radius; and besides, he <i>hadn't</i> enjoyed himself.</p> + +<p>"Well," he said, "I did go out one evening, to hear a lecture on +Astronomy at the Town Hall, in the Gray's Inn Road; but then I had the +ticket given me by a customer, and I reely was surprised to find how +regular the stars was in their habits, comets and all. But my 'Tilda is +the only star of the evening for me, to-night. I don't want to talk +about anything else."</p> + +<p>The diversion was successful, and Matilda asked no more inconvenient +questions. Presently she happened to cough slightly, and he touched +accusingly the light summer cloak she was wearing.</p> + +<p>"You're not dressed warm enough for a night like this," he said, with a +lover's concern. "Haven't you got anything thicker to put on than that?"</p> + +<p>"I haven't bought my winter things yet," said Matilda; "it was so mild, +that I thought I'd wait till I could afford it better. But I've chosen +the very thing I mean to buy. You know Mrs. Twilling's, at the top of +the Row, the corner shop? Well, in the window there's a perfectly lovely +long cloak, all lined with squirrel's fur, and with those nice oxidized +silver fastenings. A cloak like that lasts ever so long, and will always +look neat and quiet;<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[Pg 105]</a></span> and any one can wear it without being stared +after; so I mean to buy it as soon as it turns really cold."</p> + +<p>"Ah!" said he, "I can't have you ketching cold, you know; it ain't +summer any longer, and I—I've been thinking we must give up our evening +strolls together for the present."</p> + +<p>"When you've just been saying how miserable you've been without them. +Oh, Leander!"</p> + +<p>"Without <i>you</i>," he amended lamely. "I shall see you at aunt's, of +course; only we'd better suspend the walks while the nights are so raw. +And, oh, Tillie, ere long you will be mine, my little wife! Only to +think of you keeping the books for me with your own pretty little +fingers, and sending out the bills! (not that I give much credit). Ah, +what a blissful dream it sounds! Does it to you, Matilda?"</p> + +<p>"I'm not sure that you keep your books the same way as we do," she +replied demurely; "but I dare say"—(and this was a great concession for +Matilda)—"I dare say we shall suit one another."</p> + +<p>"Suit one another!" he cried. "Ah! we shall be inseparable as a brush +and comb, Tillie, if you'll excuse so puffessional a stimulus. And what +a future lies before me! If I can only succeed in introducing some of my +inventions to public notice, we may rise, Tilly, 'like an exclamation,' +as the poet says. I believe my new nasal splint has only to be known to +become universally worn; and I've been thinking out a little machine +lately for imparting a patrician arch to the flattest foot, that ought +to have an extensive run. I almost wish you weren't so pretty, Tillie. +I've studied you careful, and I'm bound to say, as it is there really +isn't room for any improvement I could suggest. Nature's beaten me +there, and I'm not too proud to own it."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[Pg 106]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Would you rather there <i>was</i> room!" inquired Matilda.</p> + +<p>"From a puffessional point of view, it would have inspired me," he said. +"It would have suggested ideers, and I shouldn't have loved you less, +not if you hadn't had a tooth in your mouth nor a hair on your head; you +would still be my beautiful Tillie."</p> + +<p>"I would rather be as I am, thank you," said Matilda, to whom this fancy +sketch did not appeal. "And now, let's talk about something else. Do you +know that mamma is coming up to town at the end of the week on purpose +to see you?"</p> + +<p>"No," said Leander, "I—I didn't."</p> + +<p>"Yes, she's taken the whole of your aunt's first floor for a week. (You +know, she knew Miss Tweddle when she was younger, and that was how I +came to lodge there, and to meet you.) Do you remember that Sunday +afternoon you came to tea, and your aunt invited me in, because she +thought I must be feeling so dull, all alone?"</p> + +<p>"Ah, I should think I did! Do you remember I helped to toast the +crumpets? What a halcyon evening that was, Matilda!"</p> + +<p>"Was it?" she said. "I don't remember the weather exactly; but it was +nice indoors."</p> + +<p>"But, I say, Tillie, my own," he said, somewhat anxiously, "how does +your ma like your being engaged to me?"</p> + +<p>"Well, I don't think she does like it quite," said Matilda. "She says +she will reserve her consent till she sees whether you are worthy; but +directly she sees you, Leander, her objections will vanish."</p> + +<p>"She has got objections, then? What to?"</p> + +<p>"Mother always wanted me to keep my affections out<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[Pg 107]</a></span> of trade," said +Matilda. "You see, she never can forget what poor papa was."</p> + +<p>"And what was your poor papa?" asked Leander.</p> + +<p>"Didn't you know? He was a dentist, and that makes mamma so very +particular, you see."</p> + +<p>"But, hang it, Matilda! you're employed in a flower-shop, you know."</p> + +<p>"Yes, but mamma never really approved of it; only she had to give way +because she couldn't afford to keep me at home, and I scorned to go out +as a governess. Never mind, Leander; when she comes to know you and hear +your conversation, she will relent; her pride will melt."</p> + +<p>"But suppose it keeps solid; what will you do, Matilda?"</p> + +<p>"I am independent, Leander; and though I would prefer to marry with +mamma's approval, I shouldn't feel bound to wait for it. So long as you +are all I think you are, I shouldn't allow any one to dictate to me."</p> + +<p>"Bless you for those words, my angelic girl!" he said, and hugged her +close to his breast. "Now I can beard your ma with a light 'art. Oh, +Matilda! you can form no ideer how I worship you. Nothing shall ever +come betwixt us two, shall it?"</p> + +<p>"Nothing, as far as I am concerned, Leander," she replied. "What's the +matter?"</p> + +<p>He had given a furtive glance behind him after the last remarks, and his +embrace suddenly relaxed, until his arm was withdrawn altogether.</p> + +<p>"Nothing is the matter, Matilda," he said. "Doesn't the moon look red +through the fog?"</p> + +<p>"Is that why you took away your arm?" she inquired.</p> + +<p>"Yes—that is, no. It occurred to me I was<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_108" id="Page_108">[Pg 108]</a></span> rendering you too +conspicuous; we don't want to go about advertising ourselves, you know."</p> + +<p>"But who is there here to notice?" asked Matilda.</p> + +<p>"Nobody," he said; "oh, nobody! but we mustn't get into the <i>way</i> of +it;" and he cast another furtive rearward look. In the full flow of his +raptures the miserable hairdresser had seen a sight which had frozen his +very marrow—a tall form, in flowing drapery, gliding up behind with a +tigress-like stealth. The statue had broken out, in spite of all his +precautions! Venus, jealous and exacting, was near enough to overhear +every word, and he could scarcely hope she had escaped seeing the arm he +had thrown round Matilda's waist.</p> + +<p>"You were going to tell me how you worshipped me," said Matilda.</p> + +<p>"I didn't say <i>worship</i>," he protested; "it—it's only images and such +that expect that. But I can tell you there's very few brothers feel to +you as I feel."</p> + +<p>"<i>Brothers</i>, Leander!" exclaimed Matilda, and walked farther apart from +him.</p> + +<p>"Yes," he said. "After all, what tie's closer than a brother? A uncle's +all very well, and similarly a cousin; but they can't feel like a +brother does, for brothers they are not."</p> + +<p>"I should have thought there were ties still closer," said Matilda; "you +seemed to think so too, once."</p> + +<p>"Oh, ah! <i>that</i>!" he said. (Every frigid word gave him a pang to utter; +but it was all for Matilda's sake.) "There's time enough to think of +that, my girl; we mustn't be in a hurry."</p> + +<p>"I'm <i>not</i> in a hurry," said Matilda.</p> + +<p>"That's the proper way to look at it," said he; "and meanwhile I haven't +got a sister I'm fonder of than I am of you."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109">[Pg 109]</a></span></p> + +<p>"If you've nothing more to say than that, we had better part," she +remarked; and he caught at the suggestion with obvious relief. He had +been in an agony of terror, lest, even in the gathering fog, she should +detect that they were watched; and then, too, it was better to part with +her under a temporary misconception than part with her altogether.</p> + +<p>"Well," he said, "I mustn't keep you out any longer, with that cold."</p> + +<p>"You are very ready to get rid of me," said poor Matilda.</p> + +<p>"The real truth is," he answered, simulating a yawn with a heavy heart; +"I am most uncommon sleepy to-night, and all this standing about is too +much for me. So good-bye, and take care of yourself!"</p> + +<p>"I needn't say that to you," she said; "but I won't keep you up a minute +longer. I wonder you troubled to come out at all."</p> + +<p>"Oh," he said, carefully keeping as much in front of the statue as he +could, "it's no trouble; but you'll excuse me seeing you to the door +this evening?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, certainly," said Matilda, biting her lip. She touched his hand with +the ends of her fingers, and hurried away without turning her head.</p> + +<p>When she was out of sight, Leander faced round to the irrepressible +goddess. He was in a white rage; but terror and caution made him +suppress it to some extent.</p> + +<p>"So here you are again!" he said.</p> + +<p>"Why did you not wait for me?" she answered. "I remained long for you; +you came not, and I followed."</p> + +<p>"I see you did," said the aggrieved Leander; "I can't say I like being +spied upon. If you're a goddess, act as such!"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112">[Pg 112]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[Pg 111]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110">[Pg 110]</a></span></p> + +<p>"What! you dare to upbraid me?" she cried. "Beware, or I——"</p> + +<p>"I know," said Leander, flinching from her. "Don't do that; I only made +a remark."</p> + +<p>"I have the right to follow you; I choose to do so."</p> + +<p>"If you must, you must," he groaned; "but it does seem hard that I +mayn't slip out for a few minutes' talk with my only sister."</p> + +<p>"You said you were going to run for business, and you told me you had +three sisters."</p> + +<p>"So I have; but only one <i>youngest</i> one."</p> + +<p>"And why did they not all come to talk with you?"</p> + +<p>"I suppose because the other two stayed at home," rejoined Leander, +sulkily.</p> + +<p>"I know not why, but I doubt you; that one who came, she is not like +you!"</p> + +<p>"No," said Leander, with a great show of candour, "that's what every one +says; all our family are like that; we are like in a way, because we're +all of us so different. You can tell us anywhere just by the difference. +My father and mother were both very unlike: I suppose we take after +them."</p> + +<p>The goddess seemed satisfied with this explanation. "And now that I have +regained you, let us return to your abode," she said; and Leander walked +back by her side, a prey to rage and humiliation.</p> + +<p>"It is a miserable thing," he was thinking, "for a man in my rank of +life to have a female statue trotting after him like a great dorg. I'm +d——d if I put up with it! Suppose we happen on somebody as knows me!"</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 349px;"><a name="MISERABLE_THING" id="MISERABLE_THING"></a> +<img src="images/ill-p103.jpg" width="349" height="500" alt=""IT IS A MISERABLE THING," HE WAS THINKING, "FOR A MAN +... TO HAVE A FEMALE STATUE TROTTING AFTER HIM LIKE A GREAT DORG."" title="" /> +<span class="caption">"IT IS A MISERABLE THING," HE WAS THINKING, "FOR A MAN +... TO HAVE A FEMALE STATUE TROTTING AFTER HIM LIKE A GREAT DORG."</span> +</div> + +<p>Fortunately, at that time of night Bloomsbury Square is not much +frequented; the increasing fog prevented the apparition of a female in +classical garments from attracting the notice to which it might +otherwise have been<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113">[Pg 113]</a></span> exposed, and they reached the shop without any +disagreeable encounter.</p> + +<p>"She shan't stop in the saloon," he determined; "I've had enough of +that! If you've no objections," he said, with a mixture of deference and +dictation, "I shall be obliged if you'd settle yourself in the little +shrine in the upstairs room before proceeding to evaporate out of your +statue; it would be more agreeable to my feelings."</p> + +<p>"Ah!" she said, smiling, "you would have me nearer you? Your stubborn +heart is yielding; a little while, and you will own the power of +Aphrodite!"</p> + +<p>"Now, don't you go deceiving yourself with any such ideers," said the +hairdresser, irritably. "I shan't do no such thing, so you needn't think +it. And, to come to the point, how long do you mean to carry on this +little game?"</p> + +<p>"Game?" repeated the goddess, absently.</p> + +<p>"How long are you going to foller me about in this ridiclous way?"</p> + +<p>"Till you submit, and profess your willingness to redeem your promise."</p> + +<p>"Oh, and you're coming every evening till then, are you?"</p> + +<p>"At nightfall of each day I have power to revisit you."</p> + +<p>"Well, come then!" he said, with a fling of impatient anger. "I tell you +beforehand that you won't get anything by it. Not if you was to come and +bring a whole stonemason's yard of sculptures along with you, you +wouldn't! You ought to know better than to come pestering a respectable +tradesman in this bold-faced manner!"</p> + +<p>She smiled with a languid contemptuous tolerance, which maddened +Leander.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114">[Pg 114]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Rave on," she said. "Truly, you are a sorry prize for such as I to +stoop to win; yet I will it, nor shall you escape me. There will come a +day when, forsaken by all you hold dear on earth, despised, ruined, +distracted, you will pray eagerly for the haven of refuge to which I +alone can guide you. Take heed, lest your conduct now be remembered +then! I have spoken."</p> + +<p>They were indeed her last words that evening, and they impressed the +hairdresser, in spite of himself. Custom habituates the mind to any +marvel, and already he had overcome his first horror at the periodical +awakenings of the statue, and surprise was swallowed up by exasperation; +now, however, he quailed under her dark threats. Could it ever really +come to pass that he would sue to this stone to hide him in the realms +of the supernatural?</p> + +<p>"I know this," he told himself, "if it once gets about that there's a +hairdresser to be seen in Bloomsbury chivied about after dark by a +classical statue, I shan't dare to show my face. Yet I don't know how +I'm to prevent her coming out after me, at all events now and then. If +she was only a little more like other people, I shouldn't mind so much; +but it's more than I can bear to have to go about with a <i>tablow vivant</i> +or a <i>pose plastique</i> on my arm!"</p> + +<p>All at once he started to his feet. "I've got it!" he cried, and went +downstairs to his laboratory, to reappear with some camel-hair brushes, +grease-paints, and a selection from his less important discoveries in +the science of cosmetics; namely, an "eyebrow accentuator," a vase of +"Tweddle's Cream of Carnations" and "Blondinette Bloom," a china box of +"Conserve of Coral" for the lips, and one of his most expensive +<i>chevelures</i>.</p> + +<p>He was trembling as he arranged them upon his<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115">[Pg 115]</a></span> table; not that he was +aware of the enormity of the act he contemplated, but he was afraid the +goddess might revisit the marble while he was engaged upon it.</p> + +<p>He furnished the blank eye-sockets with a pair of eyes, which, if not +exactly artistic, at least supplied a want; he pencilled the eyebrows, +laid on several coats of the "Bloom," which he suffused cunningly with a +tinge of carnation, and stained the pouting lips with his "Conserve of +Coral."</p> + +<p>So far, perhaps, he had not violated the canons of art, and may even +have restored to the image something of its pristine hues; but his next +addition was one the vandalism of which admits of no possible defence, +and when he deftly fitted the coiffure of light closely-curled hair upon +the noble classical head, even Leander felt dimly that something was +wrong!</p> + +<p>"I don't know how it is," he pondered; "she looks more natural, but not +half so respectable. However, when she's got something on to cover the +marble, there won't be anything much to notice about her. I'll buy a +cloak for her the first thing to-morrow morning. Matilda was saying +something about a shop near here where I could get that. And then, if +this Venus must come following me about, she'll look less outlandish at +any rate, and that's something!"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116">[Pg 116]</a></span></p> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117">[Pg 117]</a></span></p><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118">[Pg 118]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="A_FURTHER_PREDICAMENT" id="A_FURTHER_PREDICAMENT"></a>A FURTHER PREDICAMENT</h2> + +<h3>VII.</h3> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 15em;">"So long as the world contains us both,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 15em;">Me the loving and you the loth,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 15em;">While the one eludes, must the other pursue."</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 25em;"><i>Browning.</i></span><br /><br /> +</p> + +<p>Immediately after breakfast the next day, Leander went out and paid a +visit to Miss Twilling's, bringing away with him a hooded cloak of the +precise kind he remembered Matilda to have described as unlikely to +render its owner conspicuous. With this garment he succeeded in +disguising the statue to such a degree, that it was far less likely than +before that the goddess's appearance in public would excite any +particular curiosity—a result which somewhat relieved his anxiety as to +her future proceedings.</p> + +<p>But all that day his thoughts were busy with Matilda. He must, he +feared, have deeply offended her by his abrupt change on the previous +night; and now he could not expect to meet her again for days, and would +not know how to explain his conduct if he did meet her.</p> + +<p>If he could only dare to tell her everything; but from such a course he +shrank. Matilda would not only be extremely indignant (though, in very +truth, he had done nothing positively wrong as yet), but, with her +strict notions and well-regulated principles, she would assuredly<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_119" id="Page_119">[Pg 119]</a></span> +recoil from a lover who had brought himself into a predicament so +hideous. He would tell her all when, or if, he succeeded in extricating +himself.</p> + +<p>But he was to learn the nature of Matilda's sentiments sooner than he +expected. It was growing dusk, and he was unpacking a parcel of goods in +his front shop—for his saloon happened to be empty just then—when the +outer door swung back, and a slight girlish figure entered, after a +pause of indecision on the threshold. It was Matilda.</p> + +<p>Had she come to break it off—to reproach him? He was prepared for no +less; she had never paid him a visit like this alone before; and some +doubts of the propriety of the thing seemed to be troubling her now, for +she did not speak.</p> + +<p>"Matilda," he faltered, "don't tell me you have come in a spirit of +unpleasantness, for I can't bear it."</p> + +<p>"Don't you deserve that I should?" she said, but not angrily. "You know, +you were very strange in behaving as you did last night. I couldn't tell +what to make of it."</p> + +<p>"I know," he said confusedly; "it was something come over me, all of a +sudden like. I can't understand what made me like that; but, oh, Tillie, +my dearest love, my 'art was busting with adoration all the time! The +circumstances was highly peculiar; but I don't know that I could explain +them."</p> + +<p>"You needn't, Leander; I have found you out." She said this with a +strange significance.</p> + +<p>"What!" he almost shrieked. "You don't mean it, Matilda! Tell me, quick! +has the discovery changed your feelings towards me? Has it?"</p> + +<p>"Yes," she said softly. "I—I think it has; but you ought not to have +done it, Leander."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_120" id="Page_120">[Pg 120]</a></span></p> + +<p>"I know," he groaned. "I was a fool, Tillie; a fool! But I may get out +of it yet," he added. "I can get her to let me off. I must—I will!"</p> + +<p>Matilda opened her eyes. "But, Leander dear, listen; don't be so hasty. +I never said I <i>wanted</i> her to let you off, did I?"</p> + +<p>He looked at her in a dazed manner. "I rather thought," he said slowly, +"that it might have put you out a little. I see I was mistook."</p> + +<p>"You might have known that I should be more pleased than angry, I should +think," said Matilda.</p> + +<p>"More pleased than——I might have known!" exclaimed the bewildered man. +"Oh, you can't reely be taking it as cool as this! Will you kindly +inform me <i>what</i> it is you're alludin' to in this way?"</p> + +<p>"What is the use of pretending? You know I know. And it <i>is</i> colder, +much colder, this morning. I felt it directly I got up."</p> + +<p>"Quite a change in the weather, I'm sure," he said mechanically; "it +feels like a frost coming on." ("Has Matilda looked in to tell me the +weather's changed?" he was wondering within himself. "Either I'm mad, or +Matilda is.")</p> + +<p>"You dear old goose!" said Matilda, with an unusual effusiveness; "you +shan't tease me like this! Do you think I've no eyes and no feelings? +Any girl, I don't care how proud or offended, would come round on such +proof of devotedness as I've had this evening. When I saw it gone, I +felt I must come straight in and thank you, and tell you I shouldn't +think any more of last night. I couldn't stop myself."</p> + +<p>"When you saw <i>what</i> gone?" cried the hairdresser, rubbing up his hair.</p> + +<p>"The cloak," said Matilda; and then, as she saw his<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121">[Pg 121]</a></span> expression, her own +changed. "Leander Tweddle," she asked, in a dry hard voice, "have I been +making a wretched fool of myself? <i>Didn't</i> you buy that cloak?"</p> + +<p>He understood at last. He had gone to Miss Twilling's chiefly because he +was in a hurry and it was close by, and he knew nowhere else where he +could be sure of getting what he required. Now, by some supreme stroke +of the ill-luck which seemed to be pursuing him of late, he had +unwittingly purchased the identical garment on which Matilda had fixed +her affections! How was he to notice that they took it out of the window +for him?</p> + +<p>All this flashed across him as he replied, "Yes, yes, Tillie, I did buy +a cloak there; but are you sure it was the same you told me about?"</p> + +<p>"Do you think a woman doesn't know the look of a thing like that, when +it's taken her fancy?" said Matilda. "Why, I could tell you every clasp +and tassel on that cloak; it wasn't one you'd see every day, and I knew +it was gone the moment I passed the window. It quite upset me, for I'd +set my heart on it so; and I ran in to Miss Twilling, and asked her what +had become of it; and when she said she'd sold it that morning, I +thought I should have fainted. You see, it never struck me that it could +be you; for how could I dream that you'd be clever enough to go and +choose the very one? Leander, it <i>was</i> clever of you!"</p> + +<p>"Yes," he said, with a bitter rail against himself. "I'm a clever chap, +I am! But how did you find out?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, I made Miss Twilling (I often get little things there), I made her +describe who she sold it to, and she said she thought it was to a +gentleman in the hair-cutting persuasion who lived near; and then, of +course, I guessed who bought it."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_122" id="Page_122">[Pg 122]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Tillie," gasped Leander, "I—I didn't <i>mean</i> you to guess; the purpose +for which I require that cloak is my secret."</p> + +<p>"Oh, you silly man, when I've guessed it! And I take it just as kind of +you as if it was to be all a surprise. I was wishing as I came along I +could afford to buy it at once, it struck so cold coming out of our +place; and you had actually bought it for me all the time! Thank you +ever so much, Leander dear!"</p> + +<p>He had only to accept the position; and he did. "I'm glad you're +pleased," he said; "I intended it as a surprise."</p> + +<p>"And I am surprised," said Matilda; "because, do you know, last night, +when I went home, I was feeling very cross with you. I kept thinking +that perhaps you didn't care for me any more, and were trying to break +it off; and, oh, all sorts of horrid things I kept thinking! And aunt +gave me a message for you this morning, and I was so out of temper I +wouldn't leave it. And now to find you've been so kind!"</p> + +<p>She stretched out her hand to him across the counter, and he took and +held it tight; he had never seen her looking sweeter, nor felt that she +was half so dear to him. After all, his blunder had brought them +together again, and he was grateful to it.</p> + +<p>At last Matilda said, "You were quite right about this wrapper, Leander; +it's not half warm enough for a night like this. I'm really afraid to go +home in it."</p> + +<p>He knew well enough what she intended him to do; but just then he dared +not appear to understand. "It isn't far, only to Millman Street," he +said; "and you must walk fast, Tillie. I wish I could leave the shop and +come too."</p> + +<p>"You want me to ask you downright," she said<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123">[Pg 123]</a></span> pouting. "You men can't +even be kind prettily. Don't you want to see how I look in your cloak, +Leander?"</p> + +<p>What could he say after that? He must run upstairs, deprive the goddess +of her mantle, and hand it over to Matilda. She had evidently made up +her mind to have that particular cloak, and he must buy the statue +another. It would be expensive; but there was no help for it.</p> + +<p>"Certainly," he said, "you shall have it now, dearest, if you'd like to. +I'll run up and fetch it down, if you'll wait."</p> + +<p>He rushed upstairs, two steps at a time, and, flinging open the door of +a cupboard, began desperately to uncloak his Aphrodite. She was lifeless +still, which he considered fortunate.</p> + +<p>But the goddess seemed to have a natural propensity to retain any form +of portable property. One of her arms was so placed that, tug and +stretch as he would, Leander could not get the cloak from her shoulders, +and his efforts only broke one of the oxidized silver fastenings, and +tore part of the squirrel's-fur lining.</p> + +<p>It was useless, and with a damp forehead he came down again to his +expectant <i>fiancée</i>.</p> + +<p>"Why, you haven't got it, after all!" she cried, her face falling.</p> + +<p>"Tillie, my own dear girl," he said, "I'm uncommon sorry, upon my soul I +am, but you can't have that cloak this evening."</p> + +<p>"But why, Leander, why?"</p> + +<p>"Because one of the clasps is broke. It must be sent back to be +repaired."</p> + +<p>"I don't mind that. Let me have it just as it is."</p> + +<p>"And the lining's torn. No, Matilda, I shan't make you a present of a +damaged article. I shall send it back.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_124" id="Page_124">[Pg 124]</a></span> They must change it for me." +("Then," he thought, "I can buy my Matilda another.")</p> + +<p>"I don't care for any other but that," she said; "and you can't match +it."</p> + +<p>"Oh, lor!" he thought, "and she knows every inch of it. The goddess must +give it up; it'll be all the same to <i>her</i>. Very well then, dearest, you +<i>shall</i> have that, but not till it's done up. I must have my way in +this; and as soon as ever I can, I'll bring it round."</p> + +<p>"Leander, could you bring it me by Sunday," she said eagerly, "when you +come?"</p> + +<p>"Why Sunday?" he asked.</p> + +<p>"Because—oh, that was the message your aunt asked me to bring you; it +was in a note, but I've lost it. She told me what was inside though, and +it's this. Will you give her the pleasure of your company at her mid-day +dinner at two o'clock, to be introduced to mamma? And she said you were +to be sure and not forget her ring."</p> + +<p>He tottered for a moment. The ring! Yes, there was that to be got off, +too, besides the cloak.</p> + +<p>"Haven't you got the ring from Vidler's yet?" she said. "He's had it +such a time."</p> + +<p>He had told her where he had left it for alterations. "Yes," he said, +"he has had it a time. It's disgraceful the way that old Vidler potters +and potters. I shall go round and 'urry him up. I won't stand it any +longer."</p> + +<p>Here a customer came in, and Matilda slipped away with a hurried +good-bye.</p> + +<p>"I've got till Sunday to get straight," the hairdresser thought, as he +attended on the new comer, "the best part of a week; surely I can talk +that Venus over by that time."</p> + +<p>When he was alone he went up to see her, without losing a moment. He +must have left the door unlocked<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_125" id="Page_125">[Pg 125]</a></span> in his haste, for she was standing +before the low chimney-glass, regarding herself intently. As he came in +she turned.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 346px;"><a name="CHIMNEY-GLASS" id="CHIMNEY-GLASS"></a> +<img src="images/ill-p119.jpg" width="346" height="500" alt="SHE WAS STANDING BEFORE THE LOW CHIMNEY-GLASS, REGARDING +HERSELF INTENTLY." title="" /> +<span class="caption">SHE WAS STANDING BEFORE THE LOW CHIMNEY-GLASS, REGARDING +HERSELF INTENTLY.</span> +</div> + +<p>"Who has done all this?" she demanded. "Tell me, was it you?"</p> + +<p>"I did take the liberty, mum," he faltered guiltily.</p> + +<p>"You have done well," she said graciously. "With reverent and loving +care have you imparted hues as of life to these cheeks, and decked my +image in robes of costly skins."</p> + +<p>"Don't name it, mum," he said.</p> + +<p>"But what are these?" she continued, raising a hand to the light +ringlets on her brow. "I like them not—they are unseemly. The waving +lines, parted by the bold chisel of a Grecian sculptor, resemble my +ambrosial tresses more nearly than this abomination."</p> + +<p>"You may go all over London," said Leander, "and you won't find a +coiffure, though I say it, to set closer and defy detection more +naturally than the one you've got on; selected from the best imported +foreign hair in the market, I do assure you."</p> + +<p>"I accept the offering for the spirit in which it was presented, though +I approve it not otherwise."</p> + +<p>"You'll find it wear very comfortable," said Leander; "but that cloak, +now I come to see it on, it reely is most unworthy of you, a very +inferior piece of goods, and, if you'll allow me, I'll change it," and +he gently extended his hand to draw it off.</p> + +<p>"Touch it not," said the goddess; "for, having once been placed upon my +effigy, it is consecrated to my service."</p> + +<p>"For mercy's sake, let me get another one—one with more style about +it," he entreated; "my credit hangs on it!"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128">[Pg 128]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_127" id="Page_127">[Pg 127]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_126" id="Page_126">[Pg 126]</a></span></p> + +<p>"I am content," she said, "more than content. No more words—I retain +it. And you have pleased me by this conduct, my hairdresser. Unknown it +may be, even to yourself, your heart is warming in the sunshine of my +favour; you are coy and wayward, but you are yielding. Though pent in +this form, carved by a mortal hand, I shall prevail in the end. I shall +have you for my own."</p> + +<p>He rumpled his hair wildly, "'Orrid obstinate these goddesses are," he +thought. "What am I to say to Matilda now? If I could only find a way of +getting this statue shut up somewhere where she couldn't come and bother +me, I'd take my chance of the rest. I can't go on with this sort of +thing every evening. I'm sick and tired of it."</p> + +<p>Then something occurred to him. "Could I delude her into it?" he asked +himself. "She's soft enough in some things, and, for all she's a +goddess, she don't seem up to our London ways yet. I'll have a try, +anyway."</p> + +<p>So he began: "Didn't I understand you to observe, mum, some time back, +that the pidgings and sparrers were your birds?"</p> + +<p>"They are mine," she said—"or they were mine in days that are past."</p> + +<p>"Well," he said, "there's a place close by, with railings in front of +it, and steps and pillars as you go in, and if you like to go and look +in the yard there you'll find pidgings enough to set you up again. I +shouldn't wonder if they've been keeping them for you all this time."</p> + +<p>"They shall not lose by it," she said. "Go thither, and bring me my +birds."</p> + +<p>"I think," he said, "it would be better if you'd go yourself; they don't +know me at the British Museum. But if you was to go to the beadle at the +lodge and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_129" id="Page_129">[Pg 129]</a></span> demand them, I've no doubt you'd be attended to; and you'll +see some parties at the gates in long coats and black cloth 'elmets, +which if you ask them to ketch you a few sparrers, they'll probably be +most happy to oblige."</p> + +<p>"My beloved birds!" she said. "I have been absent from them so long. +Yes, I will go. Tell me where."</p> + +<p>He got his hat, and went with her to a corner of Bloomsbury Square, from +which they could see the railings fronting the Museum in the +steel-tinted haze of electric light.</p> + +<p>"That's the place," he said. "Keeps its own moonshine, you see. Go +straight in, and tell 'em you're come to fetch your doves."</p> + +<p>"I will do so," she said, and strode off in imperious majesty.</p> + +<p>He looked after her with an irrepressible chuckle.</p> + +<p>"If she ain't locked up soon, I don't know myself," he said, and went +back to his establishment.</p> + +<p>He had only just dismissed his apprentice and secured the shop for the +night, when he heard the well-known tread up the staircase. "Back again! +I don't have any luck," he muttered; and with reason, for the statue, +wearing an expression of cold displeasure, advanced into his room. He +felt a certain sense of guilt as he saw her.</p> + +<p>"Got the birds?" he inquired, with a nervous familiarity, "or couldn't +you bring yourself to ask for them?"</p> + +<p>"You have misled me," she said. "My birds are not there. I came to gates +in front of a stately pile—doubtless erected to some god; at the +entrance stood a priest, burly and strong, with gold-embroidered +garments——"</p> + +<p>("The beadle, I suppose," commented Leander.)</p> + +<p>"I passed him unseen, and roamed unhindered over<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_130" id="Page_130">[Pg 130]</a></span> the courtyard. It was +bare, save for one or two worshippers who crossed it. Presently a winged +thing fluttered down to my feet. But though a dove indeed, it was no +bird of mine—it knew me not. And it was draggled, begrimed, uncleanly, +as never were the doves of Aphrodite. And the sparrows (for these, too, +did I see), they were worse. I motioned them from me with loathing. I +renounced them all. Thus, Leander, have I fared in following your +counsels!"</p> + +<p>"Well, it ain't my fault," he said; "it's the London soot makes them +like that. There's some at the Guildhall: perhaps they're cleaner."</p> + +<p>"No," she said, vehemently; "I will seek no further. This is a city of +darkness and mire. I am in a land, an age, which know me not: this much +have I learnt already. The world was fairer and brighter of old!"</p> + +<p>"You see," said Leander, "if you only go about at night, you can't +expect sunshine! But I'm told there's cleaner and brighter places to be +seen abroad—if you cared to go there?" he insinuated.</p> + +<p>"To one place only, to my Cyprian caves, will I go," she declared, "and +with you!"</p> + +<p>"We'll talk about that some other time," he answered, soothingly. "Lady +Venus, look here, don't you think you've kept that ring long enough? +I've asked you civilly enough, goodness knows, to 'and it over, times +without number. I ask you once more to act fair. You know it came to you +quite accidental, and yet you want to take advantage of it like this. It +ain't right!"</p> + +<p>She met this with her usual scornful smile. "Listen, Leander," she said. +"Once before—how long since I know not—a mortal, in sport or accident, +placed his ring as you have done upon the finger of a statue erected to +me. I claimed fulfilment of the pledge then, as now;<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_131" id="Page_131">[Pg 131]</a></span> but a force I +could not withstand was invoked against me, and I was made to give up +the ring, and with it the power and rights I strove to exert. But I will +not again be thwarted: no force, no being shall snatch you from me; so +be not deceived. Submit, ere you excite my fierce displeasure; submit +now, since in the end submit you must!"</p> + +<p>There was a dreadful force in the sonorous tones which made him shiver; +a rigid inflexible will lurked in this form, with all its subtle curves +and feminine grace. If goddesses really retained any power in these +days, there could be no doubt that she would use hers to the full.</p> + +<p>Yet he still struggled. "I can't make you give up the ring," he said; +"but no more you can't make me leave my—my establishment, and go away +underground with you. I'm an Englishman, I am, and Englishmen are free, +mum; p'r'aps you wasn't aware of that? I've got a will of my own, and so +you'll find it!"</p> + +<p>"Poor worm!" she said pityingly (and the hairdresser hated to be +addressed as a poor worm), "why oppose thy weak will to mine? Why enlist +my pride against thyself; for what hast thou of thine own to render thy +conquest desirable? Thou art bent upon defiance, it seems. I leave thee +to reflect if such a combat can be equal. Farewell; and at my next +coming let me find a change!"</p> + +<p>And the spirit of the goddess fled, as before, to the mysterious realms +from which she had been so incautiously evoked, leaving Leander almost +frantic with rage, superstitious terror, and baffled purposes.</p> + +<p>"I must get the ring off," he muttered, "<i>and</i> the cloak, somehow. Oh! +if I could only find out how——There was that other chap—<i>he</i> got off; +she said as much. If I could get out how he managed it, why couldn't I +do<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_132" id="Page_132">[Pg 132]</a></span> the same? But who's to tell me? She won't—not if she knows it! I +wonder if it's in any history. Old Freemoult would know it if it +was—he's such a scholar. Why, he gave me a name for that 'airwash +without having to think twice over it! I'll try and pump old Freemoult. +I'll do it to-morrow, too. I'll see if I'm to be domineered over by a +image out of a tea-garden. Eh? I—I don't care if she <i>did</i> hear me!"</p> + +<p>So Leander went to his troubled pillow, full of this new resolution, +which seemed to promise a way of escape.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_134" id="Page_134">[Pg 134]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_133" id="Page_133">[Pg 133]</a></span></p> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_135" id="Page_135">[Pg 135]</a></span></p><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_136" id="Page_136">[Pg 136]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="BETWEEN_THE_DEVIL_AND_THE_DEEP_SEA" id="BETWEEN_THE_DEVIL_AND_THE_DEEP_SEA"></a>BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND THE DEEP SEA</h2> + +<h3>VIII.</h3> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>"Some, when they take <i>Revenge</i>, are Desirous the party should know +whence it cometh: This is the more Generous."—<span class="smcap">Bacon</span>.<br /><br /></p></div> + +<p>In the Tottenham Court Road was a certain Commercial Dining-room, where +Leander occasionally took his evening meal, after the conclusion of his +day's work, and where Mr. Freemoult was accustomed to take his supper, +on leaving the British Museum Library.</p> + +<p>To this eating-house Leander repaired the very next evening, urged by a +consuming desire to learn the full particulars of the adventure which +his prototype in misfortune had met with.</p> + +<p>It was an unpretending little place, with the bill of fare wafered to +the door, and red curtains in the windows, setting off a display of +joints, cauliflowers, and red herrings. He passed through into a long, +low room, with dark-brown grained walls, partitioned off in the usual +manner; and taking a seat in a box facing the door, he ordered dinner +from one of the shirtsleeved attendants.</p> + +<p>The first glance had told him that the man he wished to see was not +there, but he knew he must come in before long; and, in fact, before +Leander's food could be brought, the old scholar made his appearance.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_137" id="Page_137">[Pg 137]</a></span></p> + +<p>He was hardly a man of attractive exterior, being of a yellow +complexion, with a stubbly chin, and lank iron-grey locks. He wore a +tall and superannuated hat with a staring nap, and the pockets of his +baggy coat bulged with documents. Altogether he did not seem exactly the +person to be an authority on the subject of Venus.</p> + +<p>But, as the hairdresser was aware, he had the reputation of being a mine +of curious and out-of-the-way information, though few thought it worth +their while to work him. He gained a living, however, by hackwork of +various descriptions, and was in slightly better circumstances than he +allowed to appear.</p> + +<p>As he passed slowly along the central passage, in his usual state of +abstraction, Leander touched him eagerly on the sleeve. "Come in 'ere, +Mr. Freemoult, sir," he said; "there's room in this box."</p> + +<p>"It's the barber, is it?" said the old man. "What do you want me to eat +with you for, eh?"</p> + +<p>"Why, for the pleasure of your company, sir, of course," said Leander, +politely.</p> + +<p>"Well," said the old gentleman, sitting down, while documents bristled +out of him in all directions, "there are not many who would say +that—not many now."</p> + +<p>"Don't you say so, Mr. Freemoult, sir. I'm sure it's a benefit, if only +for your conversation. I often say, 'I never meet Mr. Freemoult without +I learn somethink;' I do indeed."</p> + +<p>"Then we must have met less often than I had imagined."</p> + +<p>"Now, you're too modest, sir; you reelly are—a scholar like you, too! +Talking of scholarship, you'll be gratified to hear that that title you +were good enough to suggest for the 'Regenerator' is having a quite +surprising success. I disposed of five bottles over the counter only<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_138" id="Page_138">[Pg 138]</a></span> +yesterday." ("These old scholars," was his wily reflection, "like being +flattered up.")</p> + +<p>"Does that mean you've another beastly bottle you want me to stand +godfather to?" growled the ungrateful old gentleman.</p> + +<p>"Oh no, indeed, sir! It's only——But p'r'aps you'll allow me previously +the honour of sending out for whatever beverage you was thinking of +washing down your boiled beef with, sir."</p> + +<p>"Do you know who I am?" Mr. Freemoult burst out. "I'm a scholar, and +gentleman enough still to drink at my own expense!"</p> + +<p>"I intended no offence, I'm sure, sir; it was only meant in a friendly +way."</p> + +<p>"That is the offence, sir; that <i>is</i> the offence! But, there, we'll say +no more about it; you can't help your profession, and I can't help my +prejudices. What was it you wanted to ask me?"</p> + +<p>"Well," said Leander, "I was desirous of getting some information +respecting—ahem—a party by the name of (if I've caught the foreign +pronounciation) Haphrodite, otherwise known as Venus. Do you happen to +have heard tell of her?"</p> + +<p>"Have I had a classical education, sir, or haven't I? Heard of her? Of +course I have. But why, in the name of Mythology, any hairdresser living +should trouble his head about Aphrodite, passes my comprehension. Leave +her alone, sir!"</p> + +<p>"It's her who won't leave <i>me</i> alone!" thought Leander; but he did not +say so. "I've a very particular reason for wishing to know; and I'm sure +if you could tell me all you'd heard about her, I'd take it very kind of +you."</p> + +<p>"Want to pick my brains; well, you wouldn't be the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_139" id="Page_139">[Pg 139]</a></span> first. But I am +here, sir, to rest my brain and refresh my body, not to deliver +peripatetic lectures to hairdressers on Grecian mythology."</p> + +<p>"Well," said Leander, "I never meant you to give your information +peripatetic; I'm willing to go as far as half a crown."</p> + +<p>"Conf——But, there, what's the good of being angry with you? Is this +the sort of thing you want for your half-crown?—Aphrodite, a later form +of the Assyrian Astarte; the daughter, according to some theogonies, of +Zeus and Dione; others have it that she was the offspring of the foam of +the sea, which gathered round the fragments of the mutilated Uranos——"</p> + +<p>"That don't seem so likely, do it, sir?" said Leander.</p> + +<p>"If you are going to crop in with idiotic remarks, I shall confine +myself to my supper."</p> + +<p>"Don't stop, Mr. Freemoult, sir; it's most instructive. I'm attending."</p> + +<p>But the old gentleman, after a manner he had, was sunk in a dreamy +abstraction for the moment, in which he apparently lost the thread, as +he resumed, "Whereupon Zeus, to punish her, gave her in wedlock to his +deformed son, Hephæstus."</p> + +<p>"She never mentioned him to <i>me</i>," thought Leander; "but I suppose she's +a widow goddess by this time; I'm sure I <i>hope</i> so."</p> + +<p>"Whom," Mr. Freemoult was saying, "she deceived upon several occasions, +notably in the case of ——" And here he launched into a scandalous +chronicle, which determined Leander more than ever that Matilda must +never know he had entertained a personage with such a past.</p> + +<p>"Angered by her indiscretions, Zeus inspired her with love for a mortal +man."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_140" id="Page_140">[Pg 140]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Poor devil!" said Leander, involuntarily. "And what became of <i>him</i>, +sir?"</p> + +<p>"There were several thus distinguished; amongst others, Anchises, +Adonis, and Cinyras. Of these, the first was struck by lightning; the +second slain by a wild boar; and the third is reputed to have perished +in a contest with Apollo."</p> + +<p>"They don't seem to have had no luck, any of them," was Leander's +depressed conclusion.</p> + +<p>"Aphrodite, or Venus, as you choose to call her, took a prominent part +in the Trojan war, the origin of which ten years' struggle may be traced +to a certain golden apple."</p> + +<p>"What an old rag-bag it is!" thought Leander. "I'm only wasting money on +him. He's like a bran-pie at a fancy fair: what you get out of him is +always the thing you didn't want."</p> + +<p>"No, no, Mr. Freemoult," he said, with some impatience; "leave out about +the war and the apple. It—it isn't either of them as I wanted to hear +about."</p> + +<p>"Then I have done," said the old man, curtly. "You've had considerably +more than half a crown's worth, as it is."</p> + +<p>"Look here, Mr. Freemoult," said the reckless hairdresser, "if you can't +give me no better value, I don't mind laying out another sixpence in +questions."</p> + +<p>"Put your questions, then, by all means; and I'll give you your fair +sixpenn'orth of answers. Now, then, I'm ready for you. What's your +difficulty? Out with it."</p> + +<p>"Why," said Leander, in no small confusion, "isn't there a story +somewhere of a statue to Venus as some young man (a long time back it +was, of course) was said to have put his ring on? and do you know the +rights of it? I—I can't remember how it ended, myself."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_141" id="Page_141">[Pg 141]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Wait a bit, sir; I think I do remember something of the legend you +refer to. You found it in the <i>Earthly Paradise</i>, I make no doubt?"</p> + +<p>"I found it in Rosherwich Gardens," Leander very nearly blurted out; but +he stopped himself, and said instead, "I don't think I've ever been +there, sir; not to remember it."</p> + +<p>"Well, well! you're no lover of poetry, that's very evident; but the +story is there. Yes, yes; and Burton has a version of it, too, in his +<i>Anatomy</i>. How does it go? Give my head a minute to clear, and I'll tell +you. Ha! I have it! It was something like this: There was a certain +young gentleman of Rome who, on his wedding-day, went out to play +tennis; and in the tennis-court was a brass statue of the goddess +Venus——"</p> + +<p>("Mine <i>ought</i> to be brass, from her goings on," thought Leander.)</p> + +<p>"And while he played he took off his finger-ring and put it upon the +statue's hand; a mighty foolish act, as you will agree."</p> + +<p>"Ah!" said Leander, shaking his head; "you may say that! What next, +sir?" He became excited to find that he really was on the right track at +last.</p> + +<p>"Why, when the game was over, and he came to get his ring, he found he +couldn't get it off again. Ha! ha!" and the old man chuckled softly, and +then relapsed once more into silence.</p> + +<p>"Yes, yes, Mr. Freemoult, sir! I'm a-listening; it's very funny; only do +go on!"</p> + +<p>"Go on? Where was I? Hadn't I finished? Ah, to be sure! Well, so Paris +gave <i>her</i> the apple, you see."</p> + +<p>"I didn't understand you to allude to no apple," said<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_142" id="Page_142">[Pg 142]</a></span> his puzzled +hearer; "and it was at Rome, I thought, not Paris. Bring your mind more +to it, sir; we'd got to the ring not coming off the statue."</p> + +<p>"I know, sir; I know. My mind's clear enough, let me tell you. That very +night (as I was about to say, if you'd had patience to hear me) Venus +stepped in and parted the unfortunate pair——"</p> + +<p>"It was a apple just now, you aggravating old muddle 'ed!" said Leander, +internally.</p> + +<p>"Venus informed the young man that he had betrothed himself to her by +that ring" ("Same game exactly," thought the pupil), "and—and, in +short, she led him such a life for some nights, that he could bear it no +longer. So at length he repaired to a certain mighty magician +called——Let me see, what was his name again? It wasn't Agrippa—was it +Albertus? Odd; it has escaped me for the moment."</p> + +<p>"Never mind, sir; call him Jones."</p> + +<p>"I will <i>not</i> call him Jones, sir! I had it on my tongue—there, +<i>Palumbus</i>! Palumbus it was. Well, Palumbus told him the goddess would +never cease to trouble him, unless he could get back the ring—unless he +could get back the ring."</p> + +<p>Leander's heart began to beat high; the solution of his difficulty was +at hand. It was something to know for certain that upon recovery of the +ring the goddess's power would be at an end. It only remained to find +out how the other young man managed it. "Yes, Mr. Freemoult?" he said +interrogatively; for the old gentleman had run down again.</p> + +<p>"I was only thinking it out. To resume, then. No sooner had the magician +(whose name as I said was Apollonius) come to the wedding, than he +promptly conjectured the bride to be a serpent; whereupon she<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_143" id="Page_143">[Pg 143]</a></span> vanished +incontinently, after the manner of serpents, with the house and +furniture."</p> + +<p>"Haven't you missed out a lot, sir?" inquired Leander, deferentially; +"because it don't seem to me to hook on quite. What became of Venus and +the ring?"</p> + +<p>"How the dickens am I to tell you, if you will interrupt? Ring! <i>What</i> +ring? Why, yes; the magician gave the young man a certain letter, and +told him to go to a particular cross-road outside the city, at dead of +night, and wait for Saturn to pass by in procession, with his fallen +associates. This he did, and presented the magician's letter; which +Saturn, after having read, called Venus to him, who was riding in front, +and commanded her to deliver up the ring."</p> + +<p>Here he stopped, as if he had nothing to add.</p> + +<p>"And did she, sir?" asked Leander, breathlessly.</p> + +<p>"Did she what? give up the ring? Of course she did. Haven't I been +saying so? Why not?"</p> + +<p>"Well," observed Leander, "so that's how <i>he</i> got out of it, was it? +Hah! he was a lucky chap. Those were the days when magicians did a good +trade, I suppose? Should you say there were any such parties now, on the +quiet like, eh, sir?"</p> + +<p>"Bah! Magic is a lost art, degraded to dark séances and juvenile +parties—the last magician dead for more than two hundred years. Don't +expose your ignorance, sir, by any more such questions."</p> + +<p>"No," said Leander; "I thought as much. And so, if any one was to get +into such a fix nowadays—of course, that's only my talk, but if they +did—there ain't a practising magician anywhere to help him out of it. +That's your opinion, ain't it, sir?"</p> + +<p>"As the danger of such a contingency is not immediate," was the reply, +"the want of a remedy<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_144" id="Page_144">[Pg 144]</a></span> need not, in my humble opinion, cause you any +grave uneasiness."</p> + +<p>"No," agreed Leander, dejectedly. "I don't care, of course. I was only +thinking that, in case—but there, it's no odds! Well, Mr. Freemoult, +you've told me what I was curious to know, and here's your little +honnyrarium, sir—two shillings and two sixpences, making three +shillings in all, pre-cisely."</p> + +<p>"Keep your money, sir," said the old man, with contemptuous good humour. +"My working hours are done for the day, and you're welcome enough to any +instruction you're capable of receiving from my remarks. It's not saying +much, I dare say."</p> + +<p>"Oh, you told it very clear, considering, sir, I'm sure! I don't grudge +it."</p> + +<p>"Keep it, I tell you, and say no more about it."</p> + +<p>So, expressing his thanks, Leander left the place; and, when he was +outside, felt more keenly than ever the blow his hopes had sustained.</p> + +<p>He knew the whole story of his predecessor in misfortune now, and, as a +precedent, it was worse than useless.</p> + +<p>True, for an instant a wild idea had crossed his mind, of seeking some +lonely suburban cross-road at dead of night, just to see if anything +came of it. "The last time was several hundred years ago, it seems," he +told himself; "but there's no saying that Satan mightn't come by, for +all that. Here's Venus persecuting as lively as ever, and I never heard +the devil was dead. I've a good mind to take the tram to the Archway, +and walk out till I find a likely-looking place."</p> + +<p>But, on reflection, he gave this up. "If he did come by, I couldn't +bring him a line—not even from the conjuror in High 'Oborn—and Satan +might make me<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_145" id="Page_145">[Pg 145]</a></span> put my hand to something binding, and I shouldn't be no +better off. No; I don't see no way of getting back my ring and poor +Tillie's cloak, nor yet getting rid of that goddess, any more than +before. There's one comfort, I can't be any worse off than I am."</p> + +<p>Oppressed by these gloomy reflections, he returned to his home, +expecting a renewal of his nightly persecution from the goddess; but +from some cause, into which he was too grateful to care to inquire, the +statue that evening showed no sign of life in his presence, and after +waiting with the cupboard open for some time in suspense, he ventured to +make himself some coffee.</p> + +<p>He had scarcely tasted it, however, before he heard, from the passage +below, a low whistle, followed by the peculiar stave by which a modern +low-life Blondel endeavours to attract attention. The hairdresser paid +no attention, being used, as a Londoner, to hearing such signals, and +not imagining they could be intended for his ear.</p> + +<p>But presently a handful of gravel rattled against his window, and the +whistle was repeated. He went to the window cautiously, and looked out. +Below were two individuals, rather carefully muffled; their faces, which +were only indistinctly seen, were upturned to him.</p> + +<p>He retreated, trembling. He had had so much to think of lately, that the +legal danger he was running, by harbouring the detested statue, was +almost forgotten; but now he remembered the Inspector's words, and his +legs bent beneath him. Could these people be <i>detectives</i>?</p> + +<p>"Is that Mr. Tweddle up there?" said a voice below—"because if it is, +he'd better come down, double quick, and let us in, that's all!"</p> + +<p>"'Ere, don't you skulk up there!" added a coarser<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_148" id="Page_148">[Pg 148]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_147" id="Page_147">[Pg 147]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_146" id="Page_146">[Pg 146]</a></span> voice. "We know +y'er there; and if yer don't come down to us, why, we'll come up to +you!"</p> + +<p>This brought Leander forward again. "Gentlemen," he said, leaning out, +and speaking in an agitated whisper, "for goodness' sake, what do you +want with me?"</p> + +<p>"You let us in, and we'll tell you."</p> + +<p>"Will it do if I come down and speak to you outside?" said Leander.</p> + +<p>There was a consultation between the two at this, and at the end of it +the first man said: "It's all the same to us, where we have our little +confabulation. Come down, and look sharp about it!"</p> + +<p>Leander came down, taking care to shut the street door behind him. "You +ain't the police?" he said, apprehensively.</p> + +<p>They each took an arm, and walked him roughly off between them towards +Queen Square. "We'll show you who we are," they said.</p> + +<p>"I—I demand your authority for this," gasped Leander. "What am I +charged with?"</p> + +<p>They had brought him into the gloomiest part of the square, where the +houses, used as offices in the daytime, were now dark and deserted. Here +they jammed him up against the railings, and stood guard over him, while +he was alarmed to perceive a suppressed ferocity in the faces of both.</p> + +<p>"What are you charged with? Grr——! For 'arf a pint I'd knock your +bloomin 'ed in!" said the coarser gentleman of the two—an evasive form +of answer which did not seem to promise a pleasant interview.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 346px;"><a name="ARF_A_PINT" id="ARF_A_PINT"></a> +<img src="images/ill-p139.jpg" width="346" height="500" alt=""FOR 'ARF A PINT I'D KNOCK YOUR BLOOMIN' 'ED IN!"" title="" /> +<span class="caption">"FOR 'ARF A PINT I'D KNOCK YOUR BLOOMIN' 'ED IN!"</span> +</div> + +<p>Leander was not naturally courageous, and what he had gone through +lately had shaken his nerves. He thought that, for policemen, they +showed too strong a personal feeling; but who else could they be? He +could<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_149" id="Page_149">[Pg 149]</a></span> not remember having seen either of them before. One was a tall, +burly, heavy-jawed man; the other smaller and slighter, and apparently +the superior of the two in education and position.</p> + +<p>"You don't remember me, I see," said the latter; and then suddenly +changing his tone to a foreign accent, he said: "Haf you been since to +drink a glass of beer at your open-air gardens at Rosherwich?"</p> + +<p>Leander knew him then. It was his foreign customer of Monday evening. +His face was clean-shaven now, and his expression changed—not for the +better.</p> + +<p>"I think," he said, faintly, "I had the privilege of cutting your 'air +the other evening."</p> + +<p>"You did, my friend, and I admired your taste for the fine arts. This +gentleman and I have, on talking it over, been so struck by what I saw +that evening, that we ventured to call and inquire into it."</p> + +<p>"Look 'ere, Count," said his companion, "there ain't time for all that +perliteness. You leave him to me; <i>I'll</i> talk to him! Now then, you +white-livered little airy-sneak, do you know who we are?"</p> + +<p>"No," said Leander; "and, excuse me calling of your attention to it, but +you're pinching my arm!"</p> + +<p>"I'll pinch it off before I've done," said the burly man. "Well, we're +the men that have planned and strived, and run all the risk, that you +and your gang might cut in and carry off our honest earnings. You +infernal little hair-cutting shrimp, you! To think of being beaten by +the likes of you! It's sickening, that's what it is, sickening!"</p> + +<p>"I don't understand you—as I live, gentlemen, I don't understand you!" +pleaded Leander.</p> + +<p>"You understand us well enough," said the ex-foreigner, with an awful +imprecation on all Leander's<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_150" id="Page_150">[Pg 150]</a></span> salient features; "but you shall have it +all in black and white. We're the party that invented and carried out +that little job at Wricklesmarsh Court."</p> + +<p>"Burglars! Do you mean you're burglars?" cried the terrified Leander.</p> + +<p>"We started as burglars, but we've finished by being made cat's-paws +of—by you, curse you! You didn't think we should find you out, did you? +But if you wanted to keep us in the dark, you made two awkward little +slips: one was leaving your name and address at the gardens as the party +who was supposed to have last seen the statue, and the other was keeping +the said statue standing about in your hair-cutting room, to meet the +eye of any gentleman calling out of curiosity, and never expecting such +a find as that."</p> + +<p>"What's the good of jawing at him, Count? That won't satisfy me, it +won't. 'Ere, I can't 'old myself off him any longer. I <i>must</i> put a 'ed +on him."</p> + +<p>But the other interposed. "Patience, my good Braddle. No violence. Leave +him to me; he's a devilish deep fellow, and deserves all respect." (Here +he shook Leander like a rat.) "You've stolen a march on us, you +condemned little hairdressing ape, you! How did you do it? Out with it! +How the devil did you do it?"</p> + +<p>"For the love of heaven, gents," pleaded Leander, without reflecting +that he might have found a stronger inducement, "don't use violence! How +did I do <i>what</i>?"</p> + +<p>"Count, I <i>can't</i> answer for myself," said the man addressed as Braddle. +"I shall send a bullet into him if you don't let me work it off with +fists; I know I shall!"</p> + +<p>"Keep quiet," said his superior, sternly. "Don't you see <i>I'm</i> quiet?" +and he twisted his knuckles viciously into Leander's throat. "If you +call out you're a corpse!"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_151" id="Page_151">[Pg 151]</a></span></p> + +<p>"I wasn't thinking of calling out, indeed I wasn't. I'm quite satisfied +with being where I am," said Leander, "if you'd only leave me a little +more room to choke in, and tell me what I've done to put you both in +such tremenjous tempers."</p> + +<p>"Done? You cur, when yer know well enough you've taken the bread out of +our mouths—the bread we'd earned! D'ye suppose we left out that statue +in the gardens for the like of you? Who put you up to it? How many were +there in it? What do you mean to do now you've got it? Speak out, or I +swear I'll cut your heart out, and throw it over the railings for the +tom-cats; I will, you——!"</p> + +<p>The man called Braddle, as he uttered this threat, looked so very +anxious to execute it, that Leander gave himself up for lost.</p> + +<p>"As true as I stand here, gentlemen, I didn't steal that statue."</p> + +<p>"I doubt you're not the build for taking the lead in that sort of +thing," said the Count; "but you were in it. You went down that Saturday +as a blind. Deny it if you dare."</p> + +<p>Leander did not dare. "I could not help myself, gentlemen," he faltered.</p> + +<p>"Who said you could? And you can't help yourself now, either; so make a +clean breast of it. Who are you standing in with? Is it Potter's lot?"</p> + +<p>If Leander had declared himself to be alone, things might have gone +harder with him, and they certainly would never have believed him; so he +said it <i>was</i> Potter's lot.</p> + +<p>"I told you Potter was after that marble, and you wouldn't have it, +Count," growled Braddle. "Now you're satisfied."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_152" id="Page_152">[Pg 152]</a></span></p> + +<p>The Count comprised Potter and his lot in a new and original malediction +by way of answer, and then said to Leander, "Did Potter tell you to let +that Venus stand where all the world might see it?"</p> + +<p>"I had no discretion," said the hairdresser. "I'm not responsible, +indeed, gents."</p> + +<p>"No discretion! I should think you hadn't. Nor Potter either, acting the +dog in the manger like this. Where'll <i>he</i> find his market for it, eh? +What orders have you got? When are you going to get it across?"</p> + +<p>"I've no notions. I haven't received no directions," said Leander.</p> + +<p>"A nice sort o' mug you are to be trusted with a job like this," said +Braddle. "I did think Potter was better up in his work, I did. A pretty +bungle he'll make of it!"</p> + +<p>"It would serve him right, for interfering with fellow-professionals in +this infernal unprincipled manner. But he shan't have the chance, +Braddle, he shan't have the chance; we'll steal a march on him this +time."</p> + +<p>"Is the coast clear yet?" said Braddle.</p> + +<p>"We must risk it. We shall find a route for it, never fear," was the +reply. "Now, you cursed hairdresser, you listen to what I'm going to +tell you. That Venus is our lawful property, and, by ——, we mean to +get her into our hands again. D'ye hear that?"</p> + +<p>Leander heard, and with delight. So long as he could once get free from +the presence of the statue, and out of the cross-fire of burglars and +police, he was willing by this time to abandon the cloak and ring.</p> + +<p>"I can truly say, I hope you'll be successful, gents," he replied.</p> + +<p>"We don't want your hopes, we want your help. You must round on +Potter."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_153" id="Page_153">[Pg 153]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Must I, gents?" said Leander. "Well, to oblige you, whatever it costs +me, I <i>will</i> round on Potter."</p> + +<p>"Take care you stick to that," said Braddle. "The next pint, Count, is +'ow we're to get her."</p> + +<p>"Come in and take her away now," said Leander, eagerly. "She'll be +quiet. I—I mean the <i>house</i>'ll be quiet now. You'll be very welcome, I +assure you. <i>I</i> won't interfere."</p> + +<p>"You're a bright chap to go in for a purfession like ours," said Mr. +Braddle, with intense disgust. "How do yer suppose we're to do it—take +her to pieces, eh, and bring her along in our pockets? Do you think +we're flats enough to run the chance of being seen in the streets by a +copper, lugging that 'ere statue along?"</p> + +<p>"We must have the light cart again, and a sack," said the Count. "It's +too late to-night."</p> + +<p>"And it ain't safe in the daytime," said Braddle. "We're wanted for that +job at Camberwell, that puts it on to-morrow evening. But suppose Potter +has fixed the same time."</p> + +<p>"Here, <i>you</i> know. Has Potter fixed the same time?" the Count demanded +from Leander.</p> + +<p>"No," said Leander; "Potter ain't said nothing to me about moving her."</p> + +<p>"Then are you man enough to undertake Potter, if he starts the idea? +<i>Are</i> you? Come!"</p> + +<p>"Yes, gents, I'll manage Potter. You break in any time after midnight, +and I engage you shall find the Venus on the premises."</p> + +<p>"But we want more than that of you, you know. We mustn't lose any time +over this job. You must be ready at the door to let us in, and bear a +hand with her down to the cart."</p> + +<p>But this did not suit Leander's views at all. He was<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_154" id="Page_154">[Pg 154]</a></span> determined to +avoid all personal risks; and to be caught helping the burglars to carry +off the Aphrodite would be fatal.</p> + +<p>He was recovering his presence of mind. As his tormentors had sensibly +relaxed, he was able to take steps for his own security.</p> + +<p>"I beg pardon, gents," he said, "but I don't want to appear in this +myself. There's Potter, you see; he's a hawful man to go against. You +know what Potter is, yourselves." (Potter was really coming in quite +usefully, he began to think.)</p> + +<p>"Well, I don't suppose Potter would make more bones about slitting your +throat than we should, if he knew you'd played him false," said the +Count. "But we can't help that; in a place like this it's too risky to +break in, when we can be let in."</p> + +<p>"If you'll only excuse me taking an active part," said Leander, "it's +all I ask. This is my plan, gentlemen. You see that little archway +there, where my finger points? Well, that leads by a small alley to a +yard, back of my saloon. You can leave your cart here, and come round as +safe as you please. I'll have the winder in my saloon unfastened, and +put the statue where you can get her easy; but I don't want to be mixed +up in it further than that."</p> + +<p>"That seems fair enough," said the Count, "provided you keep to it."</p> + +<p>"But suppose it's a plant?" growled Braddle. "Suppose he's planning to +lay a trap for us? Suppose we get in, to find Potter and his lot on the +look-out for us, or break into a house that's full of bloomin' coppers?"</p> + +<p>"I did think of that; but I believe our friend knows that if he doesn't +act square with me, his life isn't<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_155" id="Page_155">[Pg 155]</a></span> worth a bent pin; and besides, he +can't warn the police without getting himself into more or less hot +water. So I think he'll see the wisdom of doing what he's told."</p> + +<p>"I do," said Leander, "I do, gentlemen. I'd sooner die than deceive +you."</p> + +<p>"Well," said the Count, "you'd find it come to the same thing."</p> + +<p>"No," added Braddle. "If you blow the gaff on us, my bloomin', I'll saw +that pudden head of yours right off your shoulders, and swing for it, +cheerful!"</p> + +<p>Leander shuddered. Amongst what desperate ruffians had his unlucky stars +led him! How would it all end, he wondered feebly—how?</p> + +<p>"Well, gentlemen," he said, with his teeth chattering, "if you don't +want me any more, I'll go in; and I'm to expect you to-morrow evening, I +believe?"</p> + +<p>"Expect us when you 'ear us," said Braddle; "and if you make fools of us +again——" And he described consequences which exceeded in +unpleasantness the worst that Leander could have imagined.</p> + +<p>The poor man tottered back to his room again, in a most unenviable frame +of mind; not even the prospect of being delivered from the goddess could +reconcile him to the price he must pay for it. He was going to take a +plunge into downright crime now; and if his friend the inspector came to +hear of it, ruin must follow. And, in any case, the cloak and the ring +would be gone beyond recovery, while these cut-throat housebreakers +would henceforth have a hold over him; they might insist upon steeping +him in blacker crime still, and he knew he would never have the courage +to resist.</p> + +<p>As he thought of the new difficulties and dangers that compassed him +round about, he was frequently on<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_156" id="Page_156">[Pg 156]</a></span> the verge of tears, and his couch +that night was visited by dreadful dreams, in which he sought audience +of the Evil One himself at cross-roads, was chased over half London by +police, and dragged over the other half by burglars, to be finally +flattened by the fall of Aphrodite.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_158" id="Page_158">[Pg 158]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_157" id="Page_157">[Pg 157]</a></span></p> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_159" id="Page_159">[Pg 159]</a></span></p><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_160" id="Page_160">[Pg 160]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="AT_LAST" id="AT_LAST"></a>AT LAST</h2> + +<h3>IX.</h3> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 15em;">"Does not the stone rebuke me</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 14em;">For being more stone than it?"</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 23em;"><i>Winter's Tale.</i></span><br /> +</p> +<hr style="width: 35%;" /> +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 14em;">"Yet did he loath to see the image fair,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 14em;">White and unchanged of face, unmoved of limb!"</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 23em;"><i>Earthly Paradise.</i></span><br /><br /> +</p> + +<p>Leander's hand was very tremulous all the next day, as several indignant +clients discovered, and he closed as early as he could, feeling it +impossible to attend to business under the circumstances.</p> + +<p>About seven o'clock he went up to his sitting-room. A difficult and +ungrateful task was before him. To facilitate her removal, he must +persuade the goddess to take up a position in the saloon for the night; +and, much as he had suffered from her, there was something traitorous in +delivering her over to these coarse burglars.</p> + +<p>He waited until the statue showed signs of returning animation, and then +said, "Good evening, mum," more obsequiously than usual.</p> + +<p>She never deigned to notice or return his salutations. "Hairdresser," +she said abruptly, "I am weary of this sordid place."</p> + +<p>He was pleased, for it furthered his views. "It isn't<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_161" id="Page_161">[Pg 161]</a></span> so sordid in the +saloon, where you stood the other evening, you know," he replied. "Will +you step down there?"</p> + +<p>"Bah!" she said, "it is <i>all</i> sordid. Leander, a restlessness has come +upon me. I come back night after night out of the vagueness in which I +have lain so long, and for what? To stand here in this mean chamber and +proffer my favour, only to find it repulsed, disdained. I am tired of +it—tired!"</p> + +<p>"You can't be more tired of it than I am!" he said.</p> + +<p>"I ask myself," she went on, "why, having, through your means, ascended +once more to the earth, which I left so fair, I seek not those things +which once delighted me. This city of yours—all that I have seen of +it—revolts me; but it is vast, vaster than those built by the mortals +of old. Surely somewhere there must be brightness in it and beauty, and +the colour and harmony by which men knew once to delight the gods +themselves. It cannot be that the gods of old are all forgotten; surely, +somewhere there yet lingers a little band of faithful ones, who have not +turned from Aphrodite."</p> + +<p>"I can't say, I'm sure," said Leander; "I could inquire for you."</p> + +<p>"I myself will seek for them," she said proudly. "I will go forth this +very night."</p> + +<p>Leander choked. "To-night!" he cried. "You <i>can't</i> go to-night."</p> + +<p>"You forget yourself," she returned haughtily.</p> + +<p>"If I let you go," he said hesitatingly, "will you promise faithfully to +be back in half an hour?"</p> + +<p>"Do you not yet understand that you have to do with a goddess—with +Aphrodite herself?" she said. "Who are you, to presume to fetter me by +your restrictions? Truly, the indulgence I have shown has turned your +weak brain."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_162" id="Page_162">[Pg 162]</a></span></p> + +<p>He put his back against the door. He was afraid of the goddess, but he +was still more afraid of the burglars' vengeance if they arrived to find +the prize missing.</p> + +<p>"I'm sorry to disoblige a lady," he said; "but you don't go out of this +house to-night."</p> + +<p>In another minute he was lying in the fender amongst the +fireirons—alone! How it was done he was too stunned to remember; but +the goddess was gone. If she did not return by midnight, what would +become of him? If he had only been civil to her, she might have stayed; +but now she had abandoned him to certain destruction!</p> + +<p>A kind of fatalistic stupor seized him. He would not run away—he would +have to come home some time—nor would he call in the police, for he had +a very vivid recollection of Mr. Braddle's threat in such a contingency.</p> + +<p>He went, instead, into the dark saloon, and sat down in a chair to wait. +He wondered how he could explain the statue's absence. If he told the +burglars it had gone for a stroll, they would tear him limb from limb. +"I was so confoundedly artful about Potter," he thought bitterly, "that +they'll never believe now I haven't warned him!"</p> + +<p>At every sound outside he shook like a leaf; the quarters, as they +sounded from the church clock, sank like cold weights upon his heart. +"If only Venus would come back first!" he moaned; but the statue never +returned.</p> + +<p>At last he heard steps—muffled ones—on the paved alley outside. He had +forgotten to leave the window unfastened, after all, and he was too +paralysed to do it now.</p> + +<p>The steps were in the little yard, or rather a sort of back area, +underneath the window. "It may be only a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_163" id="Page_163">[Pg 163]</a></span> constable," he tried to say to +himself; but there is no mistaking the constabulary tread, which is not +fairy-like, or even gentle, like that he heard.</p> + +<p>A low whistle destroyed his last hope. In a quite unpremeditated manner +he put out the gas and rolled under a leather divan which stood at the +end of the room. He wished now, with all his heart, that he had run away +while he had the chance; but it was too late.</p> + +<p>"I hope they'll do it with a revolver, and not a knife," he thought. +"Oh, my poor Matilda! you little know what I'm going through just now, +and what'll be going through <i>me</i> in another minute!"</p> + +<p>A hoarse voice under the window called out, "Tweddle!"</p> + +<p>He lay still. "None o' that, yer skulker; I know yer there!" said the +voice again. "Do yer want to give me the job o' coming after yer?"</p> + +<p>After all, Leander reflected, there was the window and a thick +half-shutter between them. It might be best not to provoke Mr. Braddle +at the outset. He came half out of his hiding-place. "Is that you, Mr. +Braddle?" he quavered.</p> + +<p>"Ah!" said the voice, affirmatively. "Is this what you call being ready +for us? Why, the bloomin' winder ain't even undone!"</p> + +<p>"That's what I'm here for," said poor Leander. "Is the—the other +gentleman out there too?"</p> + +<p>"You mind your business! You'll find something the Count give me to +bring yer; I've put it on the winder-sill out 'ere. And you obey horders +next time, will yer?"</p> + +<p>The footsteps were heard retreating. Mr. Braddle was apparently going +back to fetch his captain. Leander let down the shutter, and opened the +window. He could<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_164" id="Page_164">[Pg 164]</a></span> not see, but he could feel a thick, rough bundle lying +on the window-sill.</p> + +<p>He drew this in, slammed down the window, and ran up the shutter in a +second, before the two could have had time to discover him.</p> + +<p>"Now," he thought, "I <i>will</i> run for it;" and he groped his way out of +the dark saloon to the front shop, where he paused, and, taking a match +from his pocket, struck a light. His parcel proved to be rough +sackcloth, on the outside of which a paper was pinned.</p> + +<p>Why did the Count write, when he was coming in directly? Curiosity made +him linger even then to ascertain this. The paper contained a hasty +scrawl in blue chalk. "<i>Not to-night</i>," he read; "<i>arrangements still +uncomplete. Expect us to-morrow night without fail, and see that +everything is prepared. Cloth sent with this for packing goods. P—— +laid up with professional accident, and safe for a week or two. You must +have known this—why not say so last night? No trifling, if you value +life!</i>"</p> + +<p>It was a reprieve—at the last moment! He had a whole day before him for +flight, and he fully intended to flee this time; those hours of suspense +in the saloon were too terrible to be gone through twice.</p> + +<p>But as he was turning out his cashbox, and about to go upstairs and +collect a few necessaries, he heard a well-known tread outside. He ran +to the door, which he unfastened with trembling hands, and the statue, +with the hood drawn closely round her strange painted face, passed in +without seeming to heed his presence.</p> + +<p>She had come back to him. Why should he run away now, when, if he waited +one more night, he might be rescued from one of his terrors by means of +the other?<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_165" id="Page_165">[Pg 165]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Lady Venus!" he cried hysterically. "Oh, Lady Venus, mum, I thought you +was gone for ever!"</p> + +<p>"And you have grieved?" she said almost tenderly. "You welcome my return +with joy! Know then, Leander, that I myself feel pleasure in returning, +even to such a roof as this; for little gladness have I had from my +wanderings. Upon no altar did I see my name shine, nor the perfumed +flame flicker; the Lydian measures were silent, and the praise of +Cytherea. And everywhere I went I found the same senseless troubled +haste, and pale mean faces of men, and squalor, and tumult. Grace and +joyousness have fled—even from your revelry! But I have seen your new +gods, and understand: for, all grimy and mis-shapen and uncouth are they +as they stand in your open places and at the corners of your streets. +Zeus, what a place must Olympus now be! And can any men worship such +monsters, and be gladsome?"</p> + +<p>Leander did not perceive the very natural mistake into which the goddess +had fallen; but the fact was, that she had come upon some of our justly +renowned public statues.</p> + +<p>"I'm sorry you haven't enjoyed yourself, mum," was all he could find to +say.</p> + +<p>"Should I linger in such scenes were it not for you?" she cried +reproachfully. "How much longer will you repulse me?"</p> + +<p>"That depends on you, mum," he ventured to observe.</p> + +<p>"Ah! you are cold!" she said reproachfully; "yet surely I am worthy of +the adoration of the proudest mortal. Judge me not by this marble +exterior, cunningly wrought though it be. Charms are mine, more dazzling +than any your imagination can picture; and could you surrender your +being to my hands, I should be able to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_166" id="Page_166">[Pg 166]</a></span> show myself as I really +am—supreme in loveliness and majesty!"</p> + +<p>Unfortunately, the hairdresser's imagination was not his strongest +point. He could not dissociate the goddess from the marble shape she had +assumed, and that shape he was not sufficiently educated to admire; he +merely coughed now in a deferential manner.</p> + +<p>"I perceive that I cannot move you," she said. "Men have grown strangely +stubborn and impervious. I leave you, then, to your obstinacy; only take +heed lest you provoke me at last to wrath, for my patience is well-nigh +at an end!"</p> + +<p>And she was gone, and the bedizened statue stood there, staring hardly +at him with the eyes his own hand had given her.</p> + +<p>"This has been the most trying evening I've had yet," he thought. "Thank +my stars, if all goes well, I shall get rid of her by this time +to-morrow!"</p> + +<p>The next day passed uneventfully enough, though the unfortunate +Leander's apprehensions increased with every hour. As before, he closed +early, got his apprentice safely off the premises, and sat down to wait +in his saloon. He knew that the statue (which he had concealed during +the day behind a convenient curtain) would probably recover +consciousness for some part of the evening, as it had rarely failed to +do, and prudence urged him to keep an eye over the proceedings of his +tormentress.</p> + +<p>To his horror, Aphrodite's first words, after awaking, expressed her +intention of repeating the search for homage and beauty, which had been +so unsuccessful the night before!</p> + +<p>"Seek not to detain me, Leander," she said; "for, goddess as I am, I am +drooping under this persistent obduracy. Somewhere beyond this murky +labyrinth, it<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_167" id="Page_167">[Pg 167]</a></span> may be that I shall find a shrine where I am yet +honoured. I will go forth, and never rest till I have found it, and my +troubled spirits are revived by the incense for which I have languished +so long. I am weary of abasing myself to such a contemptuous mortal, nor +will I longer endure such indignity. Stand back, and open the gates for +me! Why do you not obey?"</p> + +<p>He knew now that to attempt force would be useless; and yet if she left +him this time, he must either abandon all that life held for him, and +fly to distant parts from the burglars' vengeance—or remain to meet a +too probable doom!</p> + +<p>He fell on his knees before her. "Oh, Lady Venus," he entreated, "don't +leave me! I beg and implore you not to! If you do, you will kill me! I +give you my honest word you will!"</p> + +<p>The statue's face seemed irradiated by a sudden joy. She paused, and +glanced down with an approving smile upon the kneeling figure at her +feet.</p> + +<p>"Why did you not kneel to me before?" she said.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 346px;"><a name="KNEEL" id="KNEEL"></a> +<img src="images/ill-p161.jpg" width="346" height="500" alt=""WHY DID YOU NOT KNEEL TO ME BEFORE?"" title="" /> +<span class="caption">"WHY DID YOU NOT KNEEL TO ME BEFORE?"</span> +</div> + +<p>"Because I never thought of it," said the hairdresser, honestly; "but +I'll stay on my knees for hours, if only you won't go!"</p> + +<p>"But what has made you thus eager, thus humble?" she said, half in +wonder and half in suspicion. "Can it be, that the spark I have sought +to kindle in your breast is growing to a flame at last? Leander, can +this thing be?"</p> + +<p>He saw that she was gratified, that she desired to be assured that this +was indeed so.</p> + +<p>"I shouldn't be surprised if something like that was going on inside of +me," he said encouragingly.</p> + +<p>"Answer me more frankly," she said. "Do you wish<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_170" id="Page_170">[Pg 170]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_169" id="Page_169">[Pg 169]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_168" id="Page_168">[Pg 168]</a></span> me to remain with +you because you have learnt to love my presence?"</p> + +<p>It was a very embarrassing position for him. All depended upon his +convincing the goddess of his dawning love, and yet, for the life of +him, he could not force out the requisite tenderness; his imagination +was unequal to the task.</p> + +<p>Another and a more creditable feeling helped to tie his tongue—a sense +of shame at employing such a subterfuge in order to betray the goddess +into the lawless hands of these housebreakers. However, she must be +induced to stay by some means.</p> + +<p>"Well," he said sheepishly, "you don't give me a chance to love you, if +you go wandering out every evening, do you?"</p> + +<p>She gave a low cry of triumph. "It has come!" she exclaimed. "What are +clouds of incense, flowers, and homage, to this? Be of good heart; I +will stay, Leander. Fear not, but speak the passion which consumes you!"</p> + +<p>He became alarmed. He was anxious not to commit himself, and yet employ +the time until the burglars might be expected.</p> + +<p>"The fact is," he confessed, "it hasn't gone so far as that yet—it's +beginning; all it wants is <i>time</i>, you know—time, and being let alone."</p> + +<p>"All Time will be before us, when once your lips have pronounced the +words of surrender, and our spirits are transported together to the +enchanted isle."</p> + +<p>"You talk about me going over to this isle—this Cyprus," he said; "but +it's a long journey, and I can't afford it. How <i>you</i> come and go, I +don't know; but I've not been brought up to it myself. I can't flash +across like a telegram!"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_171" id="Page_171">[Pg 171]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Trust all to me," she said. "Is not your love strong enough for that?"</p> + +<p>"Not quite yet," he answered; "it's coming on. Only, you see, it's a +serious step to take, and I naturally wish to feel my way. I declare, +the more I gaze upon the—the elegant form and figger which I see before +me, the stronger and the more irresistible comes over me a burning +desire to think the whole thing carefully over. And if you only allowed +me a little longer to gaze (I've no time to myself except in the +evenings), I don't think it would be long before this affair reached a +'appy termination—I don't indeed!"</p> + +<p>"Gaze, then," she said, smiling—"gaze to your soul's content."</p> + +<p>"I mean no offence," he represented, having felt his way to a stroke of +supreme cunning, "but when I feel there's a goddess inside of this +statue, I don't know how it is exactly, but it puts me off. I can't fix +my thoughts; the—the passion don't ferment as it ought. If, supposing +now, you was to withdraw yourself and leave me the statue? I could gaze +on it, and think of thee, and Cyprus, and all the rest of it, more +comfortable, so to speak, than what I can when you're animating of it, +and making me that nervous, words can't describe it!"</p> + +<p>He hardly dared to hope that so lame and transparent a device would +succeed with her; but, as he had previously found, there was a certain +spice of credulity and simplicity in her nature, which made it possible +to impose upon her occasionally.</p> + +<p>"It may be so," she said. "I overawe thee, perchance?"</p> + +<p>"Very much so," said he, promptly. "You don't intend it, I know; but +it's a fact."</p> + +<p>"I will leave you to meditate upon the charms so<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_172" id="Page_172">[Pg 172]</a></span> faintly shadowed in +this image, remembering that whatever of loveliness you find herein will +be multiplied ten thousand-fold in the actual Aphrodite! Remain, then; +ponder and gaze—and love!"</p> + +<p>He waited for a little while after the statue was silent, and then took +up the sacking left for him by Braddle; twice he attempted to throw it +over the marble, and twice he recoiled. "It's no use," he said, "I can't +do it; they must do it themselves!"</p> + +<p>He carefully unfastened the window at the back of his saloon, and, +placing the statue in the centre of the floor, turned out the gas, and +with a beating heart stole upstairs to his bedroom, where (with his door +bolted) he waited anxiously for the arrival of his dreaded deliverers.</p> + +<p>He scarcely knew how long he had been there, for a kind of waking dream +had come upon him, in which he was providing the statue with light +refreshment in the shape of fancy pebbles and liquid cement, when the +long, low whistle, faintly heard from the back of the house, brought him +back to his full senses.</p> + +<p>The burglars had come! He unbolted the door and stole out to the top of +the crazy staircase, intending to rush back and bolt himself in if he +heard steps ascending; and for some minutes he strained his ears, +without being able to catch a sound.</p> + +<p>At last he heard the muffled creak of the window, as it was thrown up. +They were coming in! Would they, or would they not, be inhuman enough to +force him to assist them in the removal?</p> + +<p>They were still in the saloon; he heard them trampling about, moving the +furniture with unnecessary violence, and addressing one another in tones +that were not caressing. Now they were carrying the statue to the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_173" id="Page_173">[Pg 173]</a></span> +window; he heard their labouring breath and groans of exertion under the +burden.</p> + +<p>Another pause. He stole lower down the staircase, until he was outside +his sitting-room, and could hear better. There! that was the thud as +they leapt out on the flagged yard. A second and heavier thud—the +goddess! How would they get her over the wall? Had they brought steps, +ropes, or what? No matter; they knew their own business, and were not +likely to have forgotten anything. But how long they were about it! +Suppose a constable were to come by and see the cart!</p> + +<p>There were sounds at last; they were scaling the wall—floundering, +apparently; and no wonder, with such a weight to hoist after them! More +thuds; and then the steps of men staggering slowly, painfully away. The +steps echoed louder from under the archway, and then died away in +silence.</p> + +<p>Could they be really gone? He dared not hope so, and remained shivering +in his sitting-room for some minutes; until, gaining courage, he +determined to go down and shut the window, to avoid any suspicion. +Although now that the burglars were safely off with their prize, even +their capture could not implicate him. He rather hoped they <i>would</i> be +caught!</p> + +<p>He took a lighted candle, and descended. As he entered the saloon, a +gust from the open window blew out the light. He stood there in the dark +and an icy draught; and, beginning to grope about in the dark for the +matches, he brushed against something which was soft and had a +cloth-like texture. "It's Braddle!" he thought, and his blood ran cold; +"or else the Count!" And he called them both respectfully. There was no +reply; no sound of breathing, even.</p> + +<p>Ha! here was a box of matches at last! He struck<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_174" id="Page_174">[Pg 174]</a></span> a light in feverish +haste, and lit the nearest gas-bracket. For an instant he could see +nothing, in the sudden glare; but the next moment he fell back against +the wall with a cry of horror and despair.</p> + +<p>For there, in the centre of the disordered room, stood—not the Count, +not Braddle—but the statue, the mantle thrown back from her arms, and +those arms, and the folds of the marble drapery, spotted here and there +with stains of dark crimson!<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_176" id="Page_176">[Pg 176]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_175" id="Page_175">[Pg 175]</a></span></p> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_177" id="Page_177">[Pg 177]</a></span></p><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_178" id="Page_178">[Pg 178]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="DAMOCLES_DINES_OUT" id="DAMOCLES_DINES_OUT"></a>DAMOCLES DINES OUT</h2> + +<h4>X.</h4> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 14em;">"To feed were best at home."—<i>Macbeth.</i></span><br /><br /> +</p> + +<p>As soon as Leander had recovered from the first shock of horror and +disappointment, he set himself to efface the stains with which the +statue and the oilcloth were liberally bespattered; he was burning to +find out what had happened to make such desperadoes abandon their design +at the point of completion.</p> + +<p>They both seemed to have bled freely. Had they quarrelled, or what? He +went out into the yard with a hand-lamp, trembling lest he should come +upon one or more corpses; but the place was bare, and he then remembered +having heard them stumble and flounder over the wall.</p> + +<p>He came back in utter bewilderment; the statue, standing calm and +lifeless as he had himself placed it, could tell him nothing, and he +went back to his bedroom full of the vaguest fears.</p> + +<p>The next day was a Saturday, and he passed it in the state of continual +apprehension which was becoming his normal condition. He expected every +moment to see or hear from the baffled ruffians, who would, no doubt, +consider him responsible for their failure; but no word nor sign came +from them, and the uncertainty drove him very near distraction.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_179" id="Page_179">[Pg 179]</a></span></p> + +<p>As the night approached, he almost welcomed it, as a time when the +goddess herself would enlighten part of his ignorance; and he waited +more impatiently than ever for her return.</p> + +<p>He was made to wait long that evening, until he almost began to think +that the marble was deserted altogether; but at length, as he watched, +the statue gave a long, shuddering sigh, and seemed to gaze round the +saloon with vacant eyes.</p> + +<p>"Where am I?" she murmured. "Ah! I remember. Leander, while you +slumbered, impious hands were laid upon this image!"</p> + +<p>"Dear me, mum; you don't say so!" exclaimed Leander.</p> + +<p>"It is the truth! From afar I felt the indignity that was purposed, and +hastened to protect my image, to find it in the coarse grasp of godless +outlaws. Leander, they were about to drag me away by force—away from +thee!"</p> + +<p>"I'm very sorry you should have been disturbed," said Leander; and he +certainly was. "So you came back and caught them at it, did you? And +wh—what did you do to 'em, if I may inquire?"</p> + +<p>"I know not," she said simply. "I caused them to be filled with mad +fury, and they fell upon one another blindly, and fought like wild +beasts around my image until strength failed them, and they sank to the +ground; and when they were able, they fled from my presence, and I saw +them no more."</p> + +<p>"You—you didn't kill them outright, then?" said Leander, not feeling +quite sure whether he would be glad or not to hear that they had +forfeited their lives.</p> + +<p>"They were unworthy of such a death," she said; "so I let them crawl +away. Henceforth they will respect our images."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_180" id="Page_180">[Pg 180]</a></span></p> + +<p>"I should say they would, most likely, madam," agreed Leander. "I do +assure you, I'm almost glad of it myself—I am; it served them both +right."</p> + +<p>"<i>Almost</i> glad! And do you not rejoice from your heart that I yet remain +to you?"</p> + +<p>"Why," said Leander, "it is, in course, a most satisfactory and +agreeable termination, I'm sure."</p> + +<p>"Who knows whether, if this my image had once been removed from you, I +could have found it in my power to return?" she said; "for, I ween, the +power that is left me has limits. I might never have appeared to you +again. Think of it, Leander."</p> + +<p>"I was thinking of it," he replied. "It quite upsets me to think how +near it was."</p> + +<p>"You are moved. You love me well, do you not, Leander?"</p> + +<p>"Oh! I suppose I do," he said—"well enough."</p> + +<p>"Well enough to abandon this gross existence, and fly with me where none +can separate us?"</p> + +<p>"I never said nothing about that," he answered.</p> + +<p>"But yesternight and you confessed that you were yielding—that ere long +I should prevail."</p> + +<p>"So I am," he said; "but it will take me some time to yield thoroughly. +You wouldn't believe how slow I yield; why, I haven't hardly begun yet!"</p> + +<p>"And how long a time will pass before you are fully prepared?"</p> + +<p>"I'm afraid I can't say, not exactly; it may be a month, or it might +only be a week, or again, it may be a year. I'm so dependent upon the +weather. So, if you're in any kind of a hurry, I couldn't advise you, as +a honest man, to wait for me."</p> + +<p>"I will not wait a year!" she said fiercely. "You mock me with such +words. I tell you again that my<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_181" id="Page_181">[Pg 181]</a></span> forbearance will last but little +longer. More of this laggard love, and I will shame you before your +fellow-men as an ingrate and a dastard! I will; by my zone, I will!"</p> + +<p>"Now, mum, you're allowing yourself to get excited," said Leander, +soothingly. "I wouldn't talk about it no more this evening; we shall do +no good. I can't arrange to go with you just yet, and there's an end of +it."</p> + +<p>"You will find that that is not the end of it, clod-witted slave that +you are!"</p> + +<p>"Now, don't call names; it's beneath you."</p> + +<p>"Ay, indeed! for are not <i>you</i> beneath me? But for very shame I will not +abandon what is justly mine; nor shall you, wily and persuasive +hairdresser though you be, withstand my sovereign will with impunity!"</p> + +<p>"So you say, mum!" said Leander, with a touch of his native +impertinence.</p> + +<p>"As I say, I shall act; but no more of this, or you will anger me before +the time. Let me depart."</p> + +<p>"I'm not hindering you," he said; but she did not remain long enough to +resent his words. He sat down with a groan. "Whatever will become of +me?" he soliloquized dismally. "She gets more pressing every evening, +and she's been taking to threatening dreadful of late.... If the Count +and that Braddle ever come back now, it won't be to take her off my +hands; it'll more likely be to have my life for letting them into such a +trap. They'll think it was some trick of mine, I shouldn't wonder.... +And to-morrow's Sunday, and I've got to dine with aunt, and meet Matilda +and her ma. A pretty state of mind I'm in for going out to dinner, after +the awful week I've had of it! But there'll be some comfort in seeing my +darling Tillie again; <i>she</i> ain't a statue, bless her!"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_182" id="Page_182">[Pg 182]</a></span></p> + +<p>"As for you, mum," he said to the unconscious statue, "I'm going to lock +you up in your old quarters, where you can't get out and do mischief. I +do think I'm entitled to have my Sunday quiet."</p> + +<p>After which he contrived to toil upstairs with the image, not without +considerable labour and frequent halts to recover his breath; for +although, as we have already noted, the marble, after being infused with +life, seemed to lose something of its normal weight, it was no light +burden, even then, to be undertaken single-handed.</p> + +<p>He slept long and late that Sunday morning; for he had been too +preoccupied for the last few days to make any arrangements for attending +chapel with his Matilda, and he was in sore need of repose besides. So +he rose just in time to swallow his coffee and array himself carefully +for his aunt's early dinner, leaving his two Sunday papers—the +theatrical and the general organs—unread on his table.</p> + +<p>It was a foggy, dull day, and Millman Street, never a cheerful +thoroughfare, looked gloomier than ever as he turned into it. But one of +those dingy fronts held Matilda—a circumstance which irradiated the +entire district for him.</p> + +<p>He had scarcely time to knock before the door was opened by Matilda in +person. She looked more charming than ever, in a neat dark dress, with a +little white collar and cuffs. Her hair was arranged in a new fashion, +being banded by a neat braided tress across the crown; and her grey +eyes, usually serene and cold, were bright and eager.</p> + +<p>The hairdresser felt his heart swell with love at the sight of her. What +a lucky man he was, after all, to have such a girl as this to care for +him! If he could keep her—ah, if he could only keep her!<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_183" id="Page_183">[Pg 183]</a></span></p> + +<p>"I told your aunt <i>I</i> was going to open the door to you," she said. "I +wanted——Oh, Leander, you've not brought it, after all!"</p> + +<p>"Meaning what, Tillie, my darling?" said Leander.</p> + +<p>"Oh, you know—my cloak!"</p> + +<p>He had had so much to think about that he had really forgotten the cloak +of late.</p> + +<p>"Well, no, I've not brought that—not the cloak, Tillie," he said +slowly.</p> + +<p>"What a time they are about it!" complained Matilda.</p> + +<p>"You see," explained the poor man, "when a cloak like that is damaged, +it has to be sent back to the manufacturers to be done, and they've so +many things on their hands. I couldn't promise that you'll have that +cloak—well, not this side of Christmas, at least."</p> + +<p>"You must have been very rough with it, then, Leander," she remarked.</p> + +<p>"I was," he said. "I don't know how I came to <i>be</i> so rough. You see, I +was trying to tear it off——" But here he stopped.</p> + +<p>"Trying to tear it off what?"</p> + +<p>"Trying to tear it off nothink, but trying to tear the wrapper off <i>it</i>. +It was so involved," he added, "with string and paper and that; and I'm +a clumsy, unlucky sort of chap, sweet one; and I'm uncommon sorry about +it, that I am!"</p> + +<p>"Well, we won't say any more about it," said Matilda, softened by his +contrition. "And I'm keeping you out in the passage all this time. Come +in, and be introduced to mamma; she's in the front parlour, waiting to +make your acquaintance."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Collum was a stout lady, with a thin voice. She struck a nameless +fear into Leander's soul as he was led<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_186" id="Page_186">[Pg 186]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_185" id="Page_185">[Pg 185]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_184" id="Page_184">[Pg 184]</a></span> up to where she sat. He +thought that she contained all the promise of a very terrible +mother-in-law.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 355px;"><a name="NAMELESS_FEAR" id="NAMELESS_FEAR"></a> +<img src="images/ill-p177.jpg" width="355" height="500" alt="SHE STRUCK A NAMELESS FEAR INTO LEANDER'S SOUL." title="" /> +<span class="caption">SHE STRUCK A NAMELESS FEAR INTO LEANDER'S SOUL.</span> +</div> + +<p>"This is Leander, mamma dear," said Matilda, shyly and yet proudly.</p> + +<p>Her mother inspected him for a moment, and then half closed her eyes. +"My daughter tells me that you carry on the occupation of a +hairdresser," she said.</p> + +<p>"Quite correct, madam," said Leander; "I do."</p> + +<p>"Ah! well," she said, with an unconcealed sigh, "I could have wished to +look higher than hairdressing for my Matilda; but there are +opportunities of doing good even as a hairdresser. I trust you are +sensible of that."</p> + +<p>"I try to do as little 'arm as I can," he said feebly.</p> + +<p>"If you do not do good, you must do harm," she said uncompromisingly. +"You have it in your means to be an awakening influence. No one knows +the power that a single serious hairdresser might effect with worldly +customers. Have you never thought of that?"</p> + +<p>"Well, I can't say I have exactly," he said; "and I don't see how."</p> + +<p>"There are cheap and appropriate illuminated texts," she said, "to be +had at so much a dozen; you could hang them on your walls. There are +tracts you procure by the hundred; you could put them in the lining of +hats as you hang them up; you could wrap them round your—your bottles +and pomatum-pots. You could drop a word in season in your customer's ear +as you bent over him. And you tell me you don't see how; you <i>will</i> not +see, I fear, Mr. Tweddle."</p> + +<p>"I'm afraid, mum," he replied, "my customers would consider I was taking +liberties."</p> + +<p>"And what of that, so long as you save them?"</p> + +<p>"Well, you see, I shouldn't—I should <i>lose</i> 'em! And<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_187" id="Page_187">[Pg 187]</a></span> it's not done in +our profession; and, to tell you the honest truth, I'm not given that +way myself—not to the extent of tracks and suchlike, that is."</p> + +<p>Matilda's mother groaned; it was hard to find a son-in-law with whom she +had nothing in common, and who was a hairdresser into the bargain.</p> + +<p>"Well, well," she said, "we must expect crosses in this life; though for +my own daughter to lay this one upon me is—is——But I will not +repine."</p> + +<p>"I'm sorry you regard me in the light of a cross," said Leander; "but, +whether I'm a cross or a naught, I'm a respectable man, and I love your +daughter, mum, and I'm in a position to maintain her."</p> + +<p>Leander hated to have to appear under false pretences, of which he had +had more than enough of late. He was glad now to speak out plainly, +particularly as he had no reason to fear this old woman.</p> + +<p>"Hush, Leander! Mamma didn't mean to be unkind; did you, mamma?" said +Matilda.</p> + +<p>"I said what I felt," she said. "We will not discuss it further. If, in +time, I see reason for bestowing my blessing upon a choice which at +present——But no matter. If I see reason in time, I will not withhold +it. I can hardly be expected to approve at present."</p> + +<p>"You shall take your own time, mum; <i>I</i> won't hurry you," said Leander. +"Tillie is blessing enough for me—not but what I shall be glad to be on +a pleasant footing with you, I'm sure, if you can bring yourself to it."</p> + +<p>Before Mrs. Collum could reply, Miss Louisa Tweddle made an opportune +appearance, to the relief of Matilda, in whom her mother's attitude was +causing some uneasiness.</p> + +<p>Miss Tweddle was a well-preserved little woman, with<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_188" id="Page_188">[Pg 188]</a></span> short curly +iron-grey hair and sharp features. In manner she was brisk, not to say +chirpy, but she secreted sentiment in large quantities. She was very far +from the traditional landlady, and where she lost lodgers occasionally +she retained friends. She regarded Mrs. Collum with something like +reverence, as an acquaintance of her youth who had always occupied a +superior social position, and she was proud, though somewhat guiltily +so, that her favourite nephew should have succeeded in captivating the +daughter of a dentist.</p> + +<p>She kissed Leander on both cheeks. "He's done the best of all my +nephews, Mrs. Collum, ma'am," she explained, "and he's never caused me a +moment's anxiety since I first had the care of him, when he was first +apprenticed to Catchpole's in Holborn, and paid me for his board."</p> + +<p>"Well, well," said Mrs. Collum, "I hope he never may cause anxiety to +you, or to any one."</p> + +<p>"I'll answer for it, he won't," said his aunt. "I wish you could see him +dress a head of hair."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Collum shut her eyes again. "If at his age he has not acquired the +necessary skill for his line in life," she observed, "it would be a very +melancholy thing to reflect upon."</p> + +<p>"Yes, wouldn't it?" agreed Miss Tweddle; "you say very truly, Mrs. +Collum. But he's got ideas and notions beyond what you'd expect in a +hairdresser—haven't you, Leandy? Tell Miss Collum's dear ma about the +new machines you've invented for altering people's hands and eyes and +features."</p> + +<p>"I don't care to be told," the lady struck in. "To my mind, it's nothing +less than sheer impiety to go improving the features we've been endowed +with. We ought to be content as we are, and be thankful we've<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_189" id="Page_189">[Pg 189]</a></span> been sent +into the world with any features at all. Those are my opinions!"</p> + +<p>"Ah," said the politic Leander, "but some people are saved having resort +to Art for improvement, and we oughtn't to blame them as are less +favoured for trying to render themselves more agreeable as spectacles, +ought we?"</p> + +<p>"And if every one thought with you," added his aunt, with distinctly +inferior tact, "where would your poor dear 'usband have been, Mrs. +Collum, ma'am?"</p> + +<p>"My dear husband was not on the same level—he was a medical man; and, +besides, though he replaced Nature in one of her departments, he had too +much principle to <i>imitate</i> her. Had he been (or had I allowed him to +be) less conscientious, his practice would have been largely extended; +but I can truthfully declare that not a single one of his false teeth +was capable of deceiving for an instant. I hope," she added to Leander, +"you, in your own different way, are as scrupulous."</p> + +<p>"Why, the fact is," said Leander, whose professional susceptibilities +were now aroused, "I am essentially an artist. When I look around, I see +that Nature out of its bounty has supplied me with a choice selection of +patterns to follow, and I reproduce them as faithful as lies within my +abilities. You may call it a fine thing to take a blank canvas, and +represent the luxurious tresses and the blooming hue of 'ealth upon it, +and so do I; but I call it a still higher and nobler act to produce a +similar effect upon a human 'ed!"</p> + +<p>"Isn't that a pretty speech for a young man like him—only +twenty-seven—Mrs. Collum?" exclaimed his admiring aunt.</p> + +<p>"You see, mamma dear," pleaded Matilda, who saw that her parent remained +unaffected, "it isn't as if Leander was in poor papa's profession."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_190" id="Page_190">[Pg 190]</a></span></p> + +<p>"I hope, Matilda," said the lady sharply, "you are not going to pain me +again by mentioning this young man and your departed father in the same +breath, because I cannot bear it."</p> + +<p>"The old lady," reflected Leander here, "don't seem to take to me!"</p> + +<p>"I'm sure," said Miss Tweddle, "Leandy quite feels what an honour it is +to him to look forward to such a connection as yours is. When I first +heard of it, I said at once, 'Leandy, you can't never mean it; she won't +look at you; it's no use your asking her,' I said. And I quite scolded +myself for ever bringing them together!"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Collum seemed inclined to follow suit, but she restrained herself. +"Ah! well," she observed, "my daughter has chosen to take her own way, +without consulting my prejudices. All I hope is, that she may never +repent it!"</p> + +<p>"Very handsomely said, ma'am," chimed in Miss Tweddle; "and, if I know +my nephew, repent it she never will!"</p> + +<p>Leander was looking rather miserable; but Matilda put out her hand to +him behind his aunt's back, and their eyes and hands met, and he was +happy again.</p> + +<p>"You must be wanting your dinner, Mrs. Collum," his aunt proceeded; "and +we are only waiting for another lady and gentleman to make up the party. +I don't know what's made them so behindhand, I'm sure. He's a very +pleasant young man, and punctual to the second when he lodged with me. I +happened to run across him up by Chancery Lane the other evening, and he +said to me, in his funny way, 'I've been and gone and done it, Miss +Tweddle, since I saw you. I'm a happy man; and I'm thinking of bringing +my young lady soon to introduce to you.' So I asked them to come<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_191" id="Page_191">[Pg 191]</a></span> and +take a bit of dinner with me to-day, and I told him two o'clock sharp, +I'm sure. Ah, there they are at last! That's Mr. Jauncy's knock, among a +thousand."</p> + +<p>Leander started. "Aunt!" he cried, "you haven't asked Jauncy here +to-day?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, I did, Leandy. I knew you used to be friends when you were +together here, and I thought how nice it would be for both your young +ladies to make each other's acquaintance; but I didn't tell <i>him</i> +anything. I meant it for a surprise."</p> + +<p>And she bustled out to receive her guests, leaving Leander speechless. +What if the new-comers were to make some incautious reference to that +pleasure-party on Saturday week? Could he drop them a warning hint?</p> + +<p>"Don't you like this Mr. Jauncy, Leander?" whispered Matilda, who had +observed his ghastly expression.</p> + +<p>"I like him well enough," he returned, with an effort; "but I'd rather +we had no third parties, I must say."</p> + +<p>Here Mr. Jauncy came in alone, Miss Tweddle having retired to assist the +lady to take off her bonnet.</p> + +<p>Leander went to meet him. "James," he said in an agitated whisper, "have +you brought Bella?"</p> + +<p>Jauncy nodded. "We were talking of you as we came along," he said in the +same tone, "and I advise you to look out—she's got her quills up, old +chap!"</p> + +<p>"What about?" murmured Leander.</p> + +<p>Mr. Jauncy's grin was wider and more appreciative than ever as he +replied, mysteriously, "Rosherwich!"</p> + +<p>Leander would have liked to ask in what respect Miss Parkinson +considered herself injured by the expedition to Rosherwich; but, before +he could do so, his aunt returned with the young lady in question.</p> + +<p>Bella was gorgeously dressed, and made her entrance with the stiffest +possible dignity. "Miss Parkinson, my<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_192" id="Page_192">[Pg 192]</a></span> dear," said her hostess, "you +mustn't be made a stranger of. That lady sitting there on the sofa is +Mrs. Collum, and this gentleman is a friend of <i>your</i> gentleman's, and +my nephew, Leandy."</p> + +<p>"Oh, thank you," said Bella, "but I've no occasion to be told Mr. +Tweddle's name; we have met before—haven't we, Mr. Tweddle?"</p> + +<p>He looked at her, and saw her brows clouded, and her nose and mouth with +a pinched look about them. She was annoyed with him evidently—but why?</p> + +<p>"We have," was all he could reply.</p> + +<p>"Why, how nice that is, to be sure!" exclaimed his aunt. "I might have +thought of it, too, Mr. Jauncy, and you being such friends and all. And +p'r'aps you know this lady, too—Miss Collum—as Leandy is keeping +company along with?"</p> + +<p>Bella's expression changed to something blacker still. "No," she said, +fixing her eyes on the still unconscious Leander; "I made sure that Mr. +Tweddle was courting <i>a</i> young lady, but—but—well, this <i>is</i> a +surprise, Mr. Tweddle! You never told us of this when last we met. I +shall have news for somebody!"</p> + +<p>"Oh, but it's only been arranged within the last month or two!" said +Miss Tweddle.</p> + +<p>"Considering we met so lately, he might have done us the compliment of +mentioning it, I must say!" said Bella.</p> + +<p>"I—I thought you knew," stammered the hairdresser; "I told——"</p> + +<p>"No, you didn't, excuse me; oh no, you didn't, or some things would have +happened differently. It was the place and all that made you forget it, +very likely."</p> + +<p>"When did you meet one another, and where was it, Miss Parkinson?" +inquired Matilda, rather to include<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_193" id="Page_193">[Pg 193]</a></span> herself in the conversation than +from any devouring curiosity.</p> + +<p>Leander struck in hoarsely. "We met," he explained, "some time since, +quite casual."</p> + +<p>Bella's eyes lit up with triumphant malice. "What!" she said, "do you +call yesterday week such a long while? What a compliment that is, +though! And so he's not even mentioned it to you, Miss Collum? Dear me, +I wonder what reasons he had for that, now!"</p> + +<p>"There's nothing to wonder at," said Leander; "my memory does play me +tricks of that sort."</p> + +<p>"Ah, if it was only you it played tricks on! There's Miss Collum dying +to know what it's all about, I can see."</p> + +<p>"Indeed, Miss Parkinson, I'm nothing of the sort," retorted Matilda, +proudly. Privately her reflection was: "She's got a lovely gown on, but +she's a common girl, for all that; and she's trying to set me against +Leander for some reason, and she shan't do it."</p> + +<p>"Well," said Bella, "you're a fortunate man, Mr. Tweddle, that you are, +in every way. I'm afraid I shouldn't be so easy with my James."</p> + +<p>"There's no need for being afraid about it," her James put in; "you +aren't!"</p> + +<p>"I hope you haven't as much cause, though," she retorted.</p> + +<p>Leander listened to her malicious innuendo with a bewildered agony. Why +on earth was she making this dead set at him? She was amiable enough on +Saturday week. It never occurred to him that his conduct to her sister +could account for it, for had he not told Ada straightforwardly how he +was situated?</p> + +<p>Fortunately dinner was announced to be ready just then, and Bella was +silenced for the moment in the general movement to the next room.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_194" id="Page_194">[Pg 194]</a></span></p> + +<p>Leander took in Matilda's mamma, who had been studiously abstracting +herself from all surrounding objects for the last few minutes. "That +Bella is a downright basilisk," he thought dismally, as he led the way. +"Lord, how I do wish dinner was done!"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_196" id="Page_196">[Pg 196]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_195" id="Page_195">[Pg 195]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_197" id="Page_197">[Pg 197]</a></span></p><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_198" id="Page_198">[Pg 198]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="DENOUNCED" id="DENOUNCED"></a>DENOUNCED</h2> + +<h3>XI.</h3> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 13em;">"There's a new foot on the floor, my friend;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 13em;">And a new face at the door, my friend;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 13em;">A new face at the door."</span><br /><br /> +</p> + + +<p>Leander sat at the head of the table as carver, having Mrs. Collum and +Bella on his left, and James and Matilda opposite to them.</p> + +<p>James was the first to open conversation, by the remark to Mrs. Collum, +across the table, that they were "having another dull Sunday."</p> + +<p>"That," rejoined the uncompromising lady, "seems to me a highly improper +remark, sir."</p> + +<p>"My friend Jauncy," explained Leander, in defence of his abashed +companion, "was not alluding to present company, I'm sure. He meant the +dulness <i>outside</i>—the fog, and so on."</p> + +<p>"I knew it," she said; "and I repeat that it is improper and irreverent +to speak of a dull Sunday in that tone of complaint. Haven't we all the +week to be lively in?"</p> + +<p>"And I'm sure, ma'am," said Jauncy, recovering himself, "you make the +most of your time. Talking of fog, Tweddle, did you see those lines on +it in to-day's <i>Umpire</i>? Very smart, I call them; regular witty."</p> + +<p>"And do you both read a paper on Sunday mornings<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_199" id="Page_199">[Pg 199]</a></span> with 'smart' and +'witty' lines in it?" demanded Mrs. Collum.</p> + +<p>"I—I hadn't time this morning," said the unregenerate Leander; "but I +do occasionally cast an eye over it before I get up."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Collum groaned, and looked at her daughter reproachfully.</p> + +<p>"I see by the <i>Weekly News</i>," said Jauncy, "you've had a burglary in +your neighbourhood."</p> + +<p>Leander let the carving-knife slip. "A burglary! What! in my +neighbourhood? When?"</p> + +<p>"Well, p'r'aps not a burglary; but a capture of two that were 'wanted' +for it. It's all in to-day's <i>News</i>."</p> + +<p>"I—I haven't seen a paper for the last two days," said Leander, his +heart beating with hope. "Tell us about it!"</p> + +<p>"Why, it isn't much to tell; but it seems that last Friday night, or +early on Saturday morning, the constable on duty came upon two +suspicious-looking chaps, propped up insensible against the railings in +Queen Square, covered with blood, and unable to account for themselves. +Whether they'd been trying to break in somewhere and been beaten off, or +had quarrelled, or met with some accident, doesn't seem to be known for +certain. But, anyway, they were arrested for loitering at night with +housebreaking things about them; and, when they were got to the station, +recognized as the men 'wanted' for shooting a policeman down at +Camberwell some time back, and if it is proved against them they'll be +hung, for certain."</p> + +<p>"What were they called? Did it say?" asked Leander, eagerly.</p> + +<p>"I forget one—something like Bradawl, I believe; the other had a lot of +aliases, but he was best known as<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_200" id="Page_200">[Pg 200]</a></span> the 'Count,' from having lived a good +deal abroad, and speaking broken English like a native."</p> + +<p>Leander's spirits rose, in spite of his present anxieties. He had been +going in fear and dread of the revenge of these ruffians, and they were +safely locked up; they could trouble him no more. Small wonder, then, +that his security in this respect made him better able to cope with +minor dangers; and Bella's animosity seemed lulled, too—at least, she +had not opened her mouth, except for food, since she sat down.</p> + +<p>In his expansion, he gave himself the airs of a host. "I hope," he said, +"I've served you all to your likings? Miss Parkinson, you're not getting +on; allow me to offer you a little more pork."</p> + +<p>"Thank you, Mr. Tweddle," said the implacable Bella, "but I won't +trouble you. I haven't an appetite to-day—like I had at those gardens."</p> + +<p>There was a challenge in this answer—not only to him, but to general +curiosity—which, to her evident disappointment, was not taken up.</p> + +<p>Leander turned to Jauncy. "I—I suppose you had no trouble in finding +your way here?" he said.</p> + +<p>"No," said Jauncy, "not more than usual; the streets were pretty full, +and that makes it harder to get along."</p> + +<p>"We met such quantities of soldiers," put in Bella. "Do you remember +those two soldiers at Rosherwich, Mr. Tweddle? How funny they did look, +dancing; didn't they? But I suppose I mustn't say anything about the +dancing here, must I?"</p> + +<p>"Since," said the poor badgered man, "you put it to me, Miss Parkinson, +I must say that, considering the <i>day</i>, you know——"</p> + +<p>"Yes," continued Mrs. Collum, severely; "surely<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_201" id="Page_201">[Pg 201]</a></span> there are better topics +for the Sabbath than—than a dancing soldier!"</p> + +<p>"Mr. Tweddle knows why I stopped myself," said Bella. "But there, I +won't tell of you—not now, at all events; so don't look like that at +me!"</p> + +<p>"There, Bella, that'll do," said her <i>fiancé</i>, suddenly awakening to the +fact that she was trying to make herself disagreeable, and perhaps +feeling slightly ashamed of her.</p> + +<p>"James! I know what to say and what to leave unsaid, without tellings +from you; thanks all the same. You needn't fear my saying a word about +Mr. Tweddle and Ada—la, now, if I haven't gone and said it! What a +stupid I am to run on so!"</p> + +<p>"<i>Drop</i> it, Bella! Do you hear? That's enough," growled Jauncy.</p> + +<p>Leander sat silent; he did not attempt again to turn the conversation: +he knew better. Matilda seemed perfectly calm, and certainly showed no +surface curiosity; but he feared that her mother intended to require +explanations.</p> + +<p>Miss Tweddle came in here with the original remark that winter had begun +now in good earnest.</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Bella. "Why, as we came along, there wasn't hardly a leaf on +the trees in the squares; and yet only yesterday week, at the gardens, +the trees hadn't begun to shed. Had they, Mr. Tweddle? Oh, but I forgot; +you were so taken up with paying attention to Ada——(<i>Well</i>, James! I +suppose I can make a remark!)"</p> + +<p>"I'll never take you out again, if you don't hold that tongue," he +whispered savagely.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Collum fixed her eyes on Leander, as he sat cowering on her right. +"Leander Tweddle," she said, in a hissing whisper, "what is that young +person talking<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_202" id="Page_202">[Pg 202]</a></span> about? Who—who is this 'Ada'? I insist upon being +told."</p> + +<p>"If you want to know, ask her," he retorted desperately.</p> + +<p>All this by-play passed unnoticed by Miss Tweddle, who was probably too +full of the cares of a hostess to pay attention to it; and, accordingly, +she judged the pause that followed the fitting opportunity for a little +speech.</p> + +<p>"Mrs. Collum, ma'am," she began; "and my dearest Miss Matilda, the +flower of all my lady lodgers; and you, Leandy; and Mr. Jauncy; and, +though last mentioned, not intentionally so, I assure you, Miss +Parkinson, my dear—I couldn't tell you how honoured I feel to see you +all sitting, so friendly and cheerful, round my humble table. I hope +this will be only the beginning of many more so; and I wish you all your +very good healths!"</p> + +<p>"Which, if I may answer for self and present company," said Mr. Jauncy, +nobody else being able to utter a word, "we drink and reciprocate."</p> + +<p>Leander was saved for the moment, and the dinner passed without further +incident. But his aunt's vein of sentiment had been opened, and could +not be staunched all at once; for when the cloth was removed, and the +decanters and dishes of oranges placed upon the table, she gave a little +preparatory cough and began again.</p> + +<p>"I'm sure it isn't my wish to be ceremonial," she said; "but we're all +among friends—for I should like to look upon you as a friend, if you'll +let me," she added rather dubiously, to Bella. "And I don't really think +there could be a better occasion for a sort of little ceremony that I've +quite set my heart on. Leandy, <i>you</i> know what I mean; and you've got it +with you, I know, because you were told to bring it with you."</p> + +<p>"Miss Tweddle," interrupted Matilda, hurriedly, "not<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_203" id="Page_203">[Pg 203]</a></span> now. I—I don't +think Vidler has sent it back yet. I told you, you know——"</p> + +<p>"That's all you know about it, young lady," she said, archly; "for I +stepped in there yesterday and asked him about it, to make sure, and he +told me it was delivered over the very Saturday afternoon before. So, +Leandy, oblige me for once, and put it on the dear girl's finger before +us all; you needn't be bashful with us, I'm sure, either of you."</p> + +<p>"What is all this?" asked Mrs. Collum.</p> + +<p>"Why, it's a ring, Mrs. Collum, ma'am, that belonged to my own dear +aunt, though she never wore it; and her grandfather had the posy +engraved on the inside of it. And I remember her telling me, before she +was taken, that she'd left it to me in her will, but I wasn't to let it +go out of the family. So I gave it to Leandy, to be his engagement ring; +but it's had to be altered, because it was ever so much too large as it +was."</p> + +<p>"I always thought," said Mrs. Collum, "that it was the gentleman's duty +to provide the ring."</p> + +<p>"So Leandy wanted to; but I said, 'You can pay for the altering; but I'm +fanciful about this, and I want to see dearest Miss Collum with my +aunt's ring on.'"</p> + +<p>"Oh, but, Miss Tweddle, can't you see?" said Matilda. "He's forgotten +it; don't—don't tease him about it.... It must be for some other time, +that's all!"</p> + +<p>"Matilda, I'm surprised at you," said her mother. "To forget such a +thing as that would be unpardonable in <i>any</i> young man. Leander Tweddle, +you <i>cannot</i> have forgotten it."</p> + +<p>"No," he said, "I've not forgotten it; but—but I haven't it about me, +and I don't know as I could lay my hand on it, just at present, and +that's the truth."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_204" id="Page_204">[Pg 204]</a></span></p> + +<p>"<i>Part</i> of the truth," said Bella. "Oh, what deceitful things you men +are! Leave me alone, James; I will speak. I won't sit by and hear poor +dear Miss Collum deceived in this way. Miss Collum, ask him if that is +all he knows about it. Ask him, and see what he says."</p> + +<p>"I'm quite satisfied with what he has chosen to say already, Miss +Parkinson; thank you," said Matilda.</p> + +<p>"Then permit me to say, Miss Collum, that I'm truly sorry for you," said +Bella.</p> + +<p>"If you think so, Miss Parkinson, I suppose you must say so."</p> + +<p>"I do say it," said Bella; "for it's a sorrowful sight to see meekness +all run to poorness of spirit. You have a right to an explanation from +Mr. Tweddle there; and you would insist on it, if you wasn't afraid (and +with good reason) of the answer you'd get!"</p> + +<p>At the beginning of this short colloquy Miss Tweddle, after growing very +red and restless for some moments, had slipped out of the room, and came +in now, trembling and out of breath, with a bonnet in her hand and a +cloak over her arm.</p> + +<p>"Miss Parkinson," she said, speaking very rapidly, "when I asked you to +come here with my good friend and former lodger, I little thought that +anything but friendship would come of it; and sorry I am that it has +turned out otherwise. And my feelings to Mr. Jauncy are the same as +ever; but—this is your bonnet, Miss Parkinson, and your cloak. And this +is my house; and I shall be obliged if you'll kindly put on the ones, +and walk out of the other at once!"</p> + +<p>Bella burst into tears, and demanded from Mr. Jauncy why he had brought +her there to be insulted.</p> + +<p>"You brought it all on yourself," he said, gloomily; "you should have +behaved!"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_205" id="Page_205">[Pg 205]</a></span></p> + +<p>"What have I done," cried Bella, "to be told to go, as if I wasn't fit +to stay?"</p> + +<p>"I'll tell you what you've done," said Miss Tweddle. "You were asked +here with Mr. Jauncy to meet my dear Leandy and his young lady, and get +all four of you to know one another, and lay foundations for +Friendship's flowery bonds. And from the moment you came in, though I +paid no attention to it at first, you've done nothing but insinuate and +hint, and try all you could to set my dear Miss Collum and her ma +against my poor unoffending nephew; and I won't sit by any longer and +hear it. Put on your bonnet and cloak, Miss Parkinson, and Mr. Jauncy +(who knows I don't bear him any ill-feeling, whatever happens) will go +home with you."</p> + +<p>"I've said nothing," repeated Bella, "but what I'd a right to say, and +what I'll stand to."</p> + +<p>"If you don't put on those things," said Jauncy, "I shall go away +myself, and leave you to follow as best you can."</p> + +<p>"I'm putting them on," said Bella; and her hands were unsteady with +passion as she tied her bonnet-strings. "Don't bully <i>me</i>, James, +because I won't bear it! Mr. Tweddle, if you're a man, will you sit +there and tell me you don't know that that ring is on a certain person's +finger? Will you do that?"</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 349px;"><a name="UNSTEADY_WITH_PASSION" id="UNSTEADY_WITH_PASSION"></a> +<img src="images/ill-p199.jpg" width="349" height="500" alt="HER HANDS WERE UNSTEADY WITH PASSION AS SHE TIED HER +BONNET-STRINGS." title="" /> +<span class="caption">HER HANDS WERE UNSTEADY WITH PASSION AS SHE TIED HER +BONNET-STRINGS.</span> +</div> + +<p>The miserable man concluded that Ada had disregarded his entreaties, and +told her sister all about the ring and the accursed statue. He could not +see why the story should have so inflamed Bella; but her temper was +always uncertain.</p> + +<p>Everybody was looking at him, and he was expected to say something. His +main idea was, that he would see how much Bella knew before committing +himself.</p> + +<p>"What have I ever done to offend you," he asked,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_208" id="Page_208">[Pg 208]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_207" id="Page_207">[Pg 207]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_206" id="Page_206">[Pg 206]</a></span> "that you turn on me +in this downright vixenish manner? I scorn to reply to your +insinuations!"</p> + +<p>"Do you want me to speak out plain? James, stand away, <i>if</i> you please. +You may all think what you choose of me. <i>I</i> don't care! Perhaps if +<i>you</i> were to come in and find the man who, only a week ago, had offered +marriage to your youngest sister, figuring away as engaged to quite +another lady, <i>you</i> wouldn't be all milk and honey, either. I'm doing +right to expose him. The man who'd deceive one would deceive many, and +so you'll find, Miss Collum, little as you think it."</p> + +<p>"That's enough," said Miss Tweddle. "It's all a mistake, I'm sure, and +you'll be sorry some day for having made it. Now go, Miss Parkinson, and +make no more mischief!"</p> + +<p>A light had burst in upon Leander's perturbed mind. Ada had not broken +faith with him, after all. He remembered Bella's conduct during the +return from Rosherwich, and understood at last to what a mistake her +present wrath was due.</p> + +<p>Here, at all events, was an accusation he could repel with dignity, with +truth. Foolish and unlucky he had been—and how unlucky he still hoped +Matilda might never learn—but false he was not; and she should not be +allowed to believe it.</p> + +<p>"Miss Parkinson," he said, "I've been badgered long enough. What is it +you're trying to bring up against me about your sister Ada? Speak it +out, and I'm ready to answer you."</p> + +<p>"Leander," said Matilda, "I don't want to hear it from her. Only you +tell me that you've been true to me, and that is quite enough."</p> + +<p>"Matilda, you're a foolish girl, and don't know what you're talking +about," said her mother. "It is not<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_209" id="Page_209">[Pg 209]</a></span> enough for <i>me</i>; so I beg, young +woman, if you've anything to accuse the man who's to be my son-in-law +of, you'll say it now, in my presence, and let him contradict it +afterwards if he can."</p> + +<p>"Will he contradict his knowing my sister Ada, who's one of the ladies +at Madame Chenille's, in the Edgware Road, more than a twelvemonth +since, and paying her attentions?" asked Bella.</p> + +<p>"I don't deny," said Leander, "meeting her several times, and being +considerably struck, in a quiet way. But that was before I met Matilda."</p> + +<p>"You had met Matilda before last Saturday, I suppose?" sneered Bella, +spitefully—"when you laid your plans to join our party to Rosherwich, +and trouble my poor sister, who'd given up thinking of you."</p> + +<p>"There you go, Bella!" said her <i>fiancé</i>. "What do you know about his +plans? He'd no idea as Ada and you was to be there; and when I told him, +as we were driving down, it was all I could do to prevent him jumping +out of the cab."</p> + +<p>"I'm highly flattered to hear it," said Bella. "But he didn't seem to be +so afraid of Ada when they did meet; and you best know, Mr. Tweddle, the +things you said to that poor trusting girl all the time you were walking +and dancing and talking foolishness to her."</p> + +<p>"I never said a word that couldn't have been spoke from the top of St. +Paul's," protested Leander. "I did dance with her, I own, not to seem +uncivil; but we only waltzed round twice."</p> + +<p>"Then why did you give her a ring—an engagement ring too?" insisted +Bella.</p> + +<p>"Who saw me give her a ring?" he demanded hotly. "Do you dare to say you +did? Did she ever tell you I gave her any ring? You <i>know</i> she didn't!"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_210" id="Page_210">[Pg 210]</a></span></p> + +<p>"If I can't trust my own ears," said Bella, "I should like to know what +I can trust. I heard you myself, in that railway carriage, ask my sister +Ada not to tell any one about some ring, and I tried to get out of Ada +afterwards what the secret was; but she wouldn't treat me as a sister, +and be open with me. But any one with eyes in their head could guess +what was between you, and all the time you an engaged man!"</p> + +<p>"See there, now!" cried the injured hairdresser; "there's a thing to go +and make all this mischief about! Matilda, Mrs. Collum, aunt, I declare +to you I told the—the other young woman everything about my having +formed new ties and that. I was very particular not to give rise to +hopes which were only doomed to be disappointed. As to what Miss +Parkinson says she overheard, why, it's very likely I may have asked her +sister to say nothing about a ring, and I won't deny it was the very +same ring that I was to have brought here to-day; for the fact was, I +had the misfortune to lose it in those very gardens, and naturally did +not wish it talked about: and that's the truth, as I stand here. As for +giving it away, I swear I never parted with it to no mortal woman!"</p> + +<p>"After that, Bella," observed Mr. Jauncy, "you'd better say you're sorry +you spoke, and come home with me—that's what you'd better do."</p> + +<p>"I shall say nothing of the sort," she asserted. "I'm too much of a lady +to stay where my company is not desired, and I'm ready to go as soon as +you please. But if he was to talk his head off, he would never persuade +me (whatever he may do other parties) that he's not been playing double; +and if Ada were here you would soon see whether he would have the face +to deny it. So good-night, Miss Tweddle, and sooner or later you'll find +yourself undeceived in your precious nephew, take my<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_211" id="Page_211">[Pg 211]</a></span> word for it. +Good-night, Miss Collum, and I'm only sorry you haven't more spirit than +to put up with such treatment. James, are you going to keep me waiting +any longer?"</p> + +<p>Mr. Jauncy, with confused apologies to the company generally, hurried +his betrothed off, in no very amiable mood, and showed his sense of her +indiscretions by indulging in some very plain speaking on their homeward +way.</p> + +<p>As the street door shut behind them, Leander gave a deep sigh of relief.</p> + +<p>"Matilda, my own dearest girl," he said, "now that that cockatrice has +departed, tell me, you don't doubt your Leander, do you?"</p> + +<p>"No," said Matilda, judicially, "I don't doubt you, Leander, only I do +wish you'd been a little more open with me; you might have told me you +had gone to those gardens and lost the ring, instead of leaving me to +hear it from that girl."</p> + +<p>"So I might, darling," he owned; "but I thought you'd disapprove."</p> + +<p>"And if she's <i>my</i> daughter," observed Mrs. Collum, "she <i>will</i> +disapprove."</p> + +<p>But it was evident from Matilda's manner that the inference was +incorrect; the relief of finding Leander guiltless on the main count had +blinded her to all minor shortcomings, and he had the happiness of +knowing himself fully and freely forgiven.</p> + +<p>If this could only have been the end! But, while he was still throbbing +with bliss, he heard a sound, at which his "bedded hair" started up and +stood on end—the ill-omened sound of a slow and heavy footfall.</p> + +<p>"Leandy," cried his aunt, "how strange you're looking!"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_212" id="Page_212">[Pg 212]</a></span></p> + +<p>"There's some one in the passage," he said, hoarsely. "I'll go and see +her. Don't any of you come out."</p> + +<p>"Why, it's only our Jane," said his aunt; "she always treads heavy."</p> + +<p>The steps were heard going up the stairs; then they seemed to pause +halfway, and descend again. "I'll be bound she's forgot something," said +Miss Tweddle. "I never knew such a head as that girl's;" and Leander +began to be almost reassured.</p> + +<p>The steps were heard in the adjoining room, which was shut off by +folding doors from the one they were occupying.</p> + +<p>"Leander," cried Matilda, "what <i>can</i> there be to look so frightened +of?" and as she spoke there came a sounding solemn blow upon the +folding-doors.</p> + +<p>"I never saw the lady before in all my life!" moaned the guilty man, +before the doors had time to swing back; for he knew too well who stood +behind them.</p> + +<p>And his foreboding was justified to the full. The doors yielded to the +blow, and, opening wide, revealed the tall and commanding figure of the +goddess; her face, thanks to Leander's pigments, glowing lifelike under +her hood, and the gold ring gleaming on her outstretched hand.</p> + +<p>"Leander," said the goddess, in her low musical accents, "come away."</p> + +<p>"Upon my word!" cried Mrs. Collum. "<i>Who</i> is this person?"</p> + +<p>He could not speak. There seemed to be a hammer beating on his brain, +reducing it to a pulp.</p> + +<p>"Perhaps," said Miss Tweddle—"perhaps, young lady, you'll explain what +you've come for?"</p> + +<p>The statue slowly pointed to Leander. "I come for<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_213" id="Page_213">[Pg 213]</a></span> him," she said +calmly. "He has vowed himself to me; he is mine!"</p> + +<p>Matilda, after staring, incredulous, for some moments at the intruder, +sank with a wild scream upon the sofa, and hid her face.</p> + +<p>Leander flew to her side. "Matilda, my own," he implored, "don't be +alarmed. She won't touch <i>you</i>; it's <i>me</i> she's come after."</p> + +<p>Matilda rose and repulsed him with a sudden energy. "How dare you!" she +cried, hysterically. "I see it all now: the ring, the—the cloak; <i>she</i> +has had them all the time!.... Fool that I was—silly, trusting fool!" +And she broke out into violent hysterics.</p> + +<p>"Go away at once, hypocrite!" enjoined her mother, addressing the +distracted hairdresser, as he stood, dumb and impotent, before her. "Do +you want to kill my poor child? Take yourself off!"</p> + +<p>"For goodness' sake, go, Leandy," added his aunt. "I can't bear the +sight of you!"</p> + +<p>"Leander, I wait," said the statue. "Come!"</p> + +<p>He stood there a moment longer, looking blankly at the two elder women +as they bustled about the prostrate girl, and then he gave a bitter, +defiant laugh.</p> + +<p>His fate was too strong for him. No one was in the mood to listen to any +explanation; it was all over! "I'm coming," he said to the goddess. "I +may as well; I'm not wanted here."</p> + +<p>And, with a smothered curse, he dashed blindly from the room, and out +into the foggy street.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_214" id="Page_214">[Pg 214]</a></span></p> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_215" id="Page_215">[Pg 215]</a></span></p><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_216" id="Page_216">[Pg 216]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="AN_APPEAL" id="AN_APPEAL"></a>AN APPEAL</h2> + +<h3>XII.</h3> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 14em;">"If you did know to whom I gave the ring,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 14em;">If you did know for whom I gave the ring,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 14em;">And how unwillingly I left the ring,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 14em;">You would abate the strength of your displeasure."</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 24em;"><i>Merchant of Venice.</i></span><br /><br /> +</p> + +<p>Leander strode down the street in a whirl of conflicting emotions. At +the very moment when he seemed to have prevailed over Miss Parkinson's +machinations, his evil fate had stepped in and undone him for ever! What +would become of him without Matilda? As he was thinking of his gloomy +prospects, he noticed, for the first time, that the statue was keeping +step by his side, and he turned on her with smothered rage. "Well," he +began, "I hope you're satisfied?"</p> + +<p>"Quite, Leander, quite satisfied; for have I not found you?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, you've found me right enough," he replied, with a groan—"trust you +for that! What I should like to know is, how the dickens you did it?"</p> + +<p>"Thus," she replied: "I awoke, and it was dark, and you were not there, +and I needed you; and I went forth, and called you by your name. And +you, now that you have hearkened to my call, you are happy, are you +not?"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_217" id="Page_217">[Pg 217]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Me?" said Leander, grimly. "Oh, I'm regular jolly, I am! Haven't I +reason?"</p> + +<p>"Your sisters seemed alarmed at my coming," she said. "Why?"</p> + +<p>"Well," said Leander, "they aren't used to having marble goddesses +dropping in on them promiscuously."</p> + +<p>"The youngest wept: was it because I took you from her side?"</p> + +<p>"I shouldn't wonder," he returned gruffly. "Don't bother me!"</p> + +<p>When they were both safely within the little upper room again, he opened +the cupboard door wide. "Now, marm," he said, in a voice which trembled +with repressed rage, "you must be tired with the exercise you've took +this evening, and I'll trouble you to walk in here."</p> + +<p>"There are many things on which I would speak with you," she said.</p> + +<p>"You must keep them for next time," he answered roughly. "If you can see +anything, you can see that just now I'm not in a temper for to stand it, +whatever I may be another evening."</p> + +<p>"Why do I suffer this language from you?" she demanded +indignantly—"why?"</p> + +<p>"If you don't go in, you'll hear language you'll like still less, +goddess or no goddess!" he said, foaming. "I mean it. I've been worked +up past all bearing, and I advise you to let me alone just now, or +you'll repent it!"</p> + +<p>"Enough!" she said haughtily, and stalked proudly into the lonely niche, +which he closed instantly. As he did so, he noticed his Sunday papers +lying still folded on his table, and seized one eagerly.</p> + +<p>"It may have something in it about what Jauncy was<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_218" id="Page_218">[Pg 218]</a></span> telling me of," he +said; and his search was rewarded by the following paragraph:—</p> + +<p>"<span class="smcap">Daring Capture of Burglars in Bloomsbury.</span>—On the night of Friday, the +—th, Police-constable Yorke, B 954, while on duty, in the course of one +of his rounds, discovered two men, in a fainting condition and covered +with blood, which was apparently flowing from sundry wounds upon their +persons, lying against the railings of Queen Square. Being unable to +give any coherent account of themselves, and housebreaking implements +being found in their possession, they were at once removed to the Bow +Street Station, where, the charge having been entered against them, they +were recognized by a member of the force as two notorious housebreakers +who have long been 'wanted' in connection with the Camberwell burglary, +in which, as will be remembered, an officer lost his life."</p> + +<p>The paragraph went on to give their names and sundry other details, and +concluded with a sentence which plunged Leander into fresh torments:—</p> + +<p>"In spite of the usual caution, both prisoners insisted upon +volunteering a statement, the exact nature of which has not yet +transpired, but which is believed to have reference to another equally +mysterious outrage—the theft of the famous Venus from the Wricklesmarsh +Collection—and is understood to divert suspicion into a hitherto +unsuspected channel."</p> + +<p>What could this mean, if not that those villains, smarting under their +second failure, had denounced him in revenge? He tried to persuade +himself that the passage would bear any other construction, but not very +successfully. "If they have brought <i>me</i> in," he thought, and it was his +only gleam of consolation, "I should have heard of it before this."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_219" id="Page_219">[Pg 219]</a></span></p> + +<p>And even this gleam vanished as a sharp knocking was heard below; and, +descending to open the door, he found his visitor to be Inspector +Bilbow.</p> + +<p>"Evening, Tweddle," said the Inspector, quietly. "I've come to have +another little talk with you."</p> + +<p>Leander thought he would play his part till it became quite hopeless. +"Proud to see you, Mr. Inspector," he said. "Will you walk into my +saloon? and I'll light the gas for you."</p> + +<p>"No, don't you trouble yourself," said the terrible man. "I'll walk +upstairs where you're sitting yourself, if you've no objections."</p> + +<p>Leander dared not make any, and he ushered the detective upstairs +accordingly.</p> + +<p>"Ha!" said the latter, throwing a quick eye round the little room. "Nice +little crib you've got here. Keep everything you want on the premises, +eh? Find those cupboards very convenient, I dare say?"</p> + +<p>"Very," said Leander (like the innocent Joseph Surface that he was); +"oh, very convenient, sir." He tried to keep his eyes from resting too +consciously upon the fatal door that held his secret.</p> + +<p>"Keep your coal and your wine and spirits there?" said the detective. +(Was he watching his countenance, or not?)</p> + +<p>"Y—yes," said Leander; "leastways, in one of them. Will you take +anything, sir?"</p> + +<p>"Thank 'ee, Tweddle; I don't mind if I do. And what do you keep in the +other one, now?"</p> + +<p>"The other?" said the poor man. "Oh, odd things!" (He certainly had +<i>one</i> odd thing in it.)</p> + +<p>After the officer had chosen and mixed his spirits and water, he began: +"Now, you know what's brought me here, don't you?"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_220" id="Page_220">[Pg 220]</a></span></p> + +<p>("If he was sure, he wouldn't try to pump me," argued Leander. "I won't +throw up just yet.")</p> + +<p>"I suppose it's the ring," he replied innocently. "You don't mean to say +you've got it back for me, Mr. Inspector? Well, I <i>am</i> glad."</p> + +<p>"I thought you set no particular value on the ring when I met you last?" +said the other.</p> + +<p>"Why," said Leander, "I may have said so out of politeness, not wanting +to trouble you; but, as you said it was the statue you were after +chiefly, why, I don't mind admitting that I shall be thankful indeed to +get that ring back. And so you've brought it, have you, sir?"</p> + +<p>He said this so naturally, having called in all his powers of +dissimulation to help him in his extremity, that the detective was +favourably impressed. He had already felt a suspicion that he had been +sent here on a fool's errand, and no one could have looked less like a +daring criminal, and the trusted confederate of still more daring +ruffians, than did Leander at that moment.</p> + +<p>"Heard anything of Potter lately?" he asked, wishing to try the effect +of a sudden <i>coup</i>.</p> + +<p>"I don't know the gentleman," said Leander, firmly; for, after all, he +did not.</p> + +<p>"Now, take care. He's been seen to frequent this house. We know more +than you think, young man."</p> + +<p>"Oh! if he bluffs, <i>I</i> can bluff too," passed through Leander's mind. +"Inspector Bilbow," he said, "I give you my sacred honour, I've never +set eyes on him. He can't have been here, not with my knowledge. It's my +belief you're trying to make out something against me. If you're a +friend, Inspector, you'll tell me straight out."</p> + +<p>"That's not our way of doing business; and yet, hang it, I ought to know +an honest man by this time! Tweddle, I'll drop the investigator, and +speak as man to man.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_221" id="Page_221">[Pg 221]</a></span> You've been reported to me (never mind by whom) as +the receiver of the stolen Venus—a pal of this very Potter—that's what +I've against you, my man!"</p> + +<p>"I know who told you that," said Leander; "it was that Count and his +precious friend Braddle!"</p> + +<p>"Oh, you know them, do you? That's an odd guess for an innocent man, +Tweddle!"</p> + +<p>"They found me out from inquiries at the gardens," said Leander; "and as +for guessing, it's in this very paper. So it's me they've gone and +implicated, have they? All right. I suppose they're men whose word you'd +go by, wouldn't you, sir—truthful, reliable kind of parties, eh?"</p> + +<p>"None of that, Tweddle," said the Inspector, rather uneasily. "We +officers are bound to follow up any clue, no matter where it comes from. +I was informed that that Venus is concealed somewhere about these +premises. It may be, or it may not be; but it's my duty to make the +proper investigations. If you were a prince of the blood, it would be +all the same."</p> + +<p>"Well, all I can say is, that I'm as innocent as my own toilet +preparations. Ask yourself if it is likely. What could <i>I</i> do with a +stolen statue—not to mention that I'm a respectable tradesman, with a +reputation to maintain? Excuse me, but I'm afraid those burglars have +been 'aving a lark with you, sir."</p> + +<p>He went just a little too far here, for the detective was visibly +irritated.</p> + +<p>"Don't chatter to me," he said. "If you're innocent, so much the better +for you; if that statue is found here after this, it will ruin you. If +you know anything, be it ever so little, about it, the best thing you +can do is to speak out while there's time."</p> + +<p>"I can only say, once more, I'm as innocent as the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_222" id="Page_222">[Pg 222]</a></span> drivelling snow," +repeated Leander. "Why can't you believe my word against those +blackguards?"</p> + +<p>"Perhaps I do," said the other; "but I must make a formal look round, to +ease my conscience."</p> + +<p>Leander's composure nearly failed him. "By all means," he said at +length. "Come and ease your conscience all over the house, sir, do; I +can show you over."</p> + +<p>"Softly," said the detective. "I'll begin here, and work gradually up, +and then down again."</p> + +<p>"Here?" said Leander, aghast. "Why, you've seen all there is there!"</p> + +<p>"Now, Tweddle, I shall conduct this my own way, if <i>you</i> please. I've +been following your eyes, Tweddle, and they've told me tales. I'll +trouble you to open that cupboard you keep looking at so."</p> + +<p>"This cupboard?" cried Leander. "Why, you don't suppose I've got the +Venus in there, sir!"</p> + +<p>"If it's anywhere, it's there! There's no taking me in, I tell you. Open +it!"</p> + +<p>"Oh!" said Leander, "it is hard to be the object of these cruel +suspicions. Mr. Inspector, listen to me. I can't open that cupboard, and +I'll tell you why.... You—you've been young yourself.... Think how +you'd feel in my situation ... and consider <i>her</i>! As a gentleman, you +won't press it, I'm sure!"</p> + +<p>"If I'm making any mistake, I shall know how to apologise," said the +Inspector. "If you don't open that cupboard, <i>I</i> shall."</p> + +<p>"Never!" exclaimed Leander. "I'll die first!" and he threw himself upon +the handle.</p> + +<p>The other caught him by the shoulders, and sent him twirling into the +opposite corner; and then, taking a key from his own pocket, he opened +the door himself.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_223" id="Page_223">[Pg 223]</a></span></p> + +<p>"I—I never encouraged her!" whimpered Leander, as he saw that all was +lost.</p> + +<p>The officer had stepped back in silence from the cupboard; then he faced +Leander, with a changed expression. "I suppose you think yourself +devilish sharp?" he said savagely; and Leander discovered that the +cupboard was as bare as Mother Hubbard's!</p> + +<p>He was not precisely surprised, except at first. "She's keeping out of +the way; she wouldn't be the goddess she is if she couldn't do a +trifling thing like that!" was all he thought of the phenomenon. He +forced himself to laugh a little.</p> + +<p>"Excuse me," he said, "but you did seem so set on detecting something +wrong, that I couldn't help humouring you!"</p> + +<p>Inspector Bilbow was considerably out of humour, and gave Leander to +understand that he would laugh in a certain obscure region, known as +"the other side of his face," by-and-by. "You take care, that's my +advice to you, young man. I've a deuced good mind to arrest you on +suspicion as it is!" he said hotly.</p> + +<p>"Lor', sir!" said Leander, "what for—for not having anything in that +cupboard?"</p> + +<p>"It's my belief you know more than you choose to tell. Be that as it +may, I shall not take you into custody for the present; but you pay +attention to what I'm going to tell you next. Don't you attempt to leave +this house, or to remove anything from it, till you see me again, and +that'll be some time to-morrow evening. If you do attempt it, you'll be +apprehended at once, for you're being watched. I tell you that for your +own sake, Tweddle; for I've no wish to get you into trouble if you act +fairly by me. But mind you stay where you are for the next twenty-four +hours."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_224" id="Page_224">[Pg 224]</a></span></p> + +<p>"And what's to happen then?" said Leander.</p> + +<p>"I mean to have the whole house thoroughly searched and you must be +ready to give us every assistance—that's what's to happen. I might make +a secret of it; but where's the use? If you're not a fool, you'll see +that it won't do to play any tricks. You'd far better stand by me than +Potter."</p> + +<p>"I tell you I don't know Potter. <i>Blow</i> Potter!" said Leander, warmly.</p> + +<p>"We shall see," was all the detective deigned to reply; "and just be +ready for my men to-morrow evening, or take the consequences. Those are +my last words to you!"</p> + +<p>And with this he took his leave. He was by no means the most brilliant +officer in the Department, and he felt uncomfortably aware that he did +not see his way clear as yet. He could not even make up his mind on so +elementary a point as Leander's guilt or innocence.</p> + +<p>But he meant to take the course he had announced, and his frankness in +giving previous notice was not without calculation. He argued thus: If +Tweddle was free from all complicity, nothing was lost by delaying the +search for a day; if he were guilty, he would be more than mortal if he +did not attempt, after such a warning, either to hide his booty more +securely, and probably leave traces which would betray him, or else to +escape when his guilt would be manifest.</p> + +<p>Unfortunately, there were circumstances in the case which he could not +be expected to know, and which made his logic inapplicable.</p> + +<p>After he had gone, Leander thrust his hands deep into his pockets, and +began to whistle forlornly. "A little while ago it was burglars—now +it's police!" he reflected aloud. "I'm going it, I am! And then there's<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_225" id="Page_225">[Pg 225]</a></span> +Matilda and that there Venus—one predickyment on top of another!" (But +here a sudden hope lightened his burden.) "Suppose she's took herself +off for good?" He was prevented from indulging this any further by a +long, low laugh, which came from the closed cupboard.</p> + +<p>"No such luck—she's back again!" he groaned. "Oh, <i>come</i> out if you +want to. Don't stay larfin' at me in there!"</p> + +<p>The goddess stepped out, with a smile of subdued mirth upon her lips. +"Leander," she said, "did it surprise you just now that I had vanished?"</p> + +<p>"Oh," he said wearily, "I don't know—yes, I suppose so. You found some +way of getting through at the back, I dare say?"</p> + +<p>"Do you think that even now I cannot break through the petty restraints +of matter?"</p> + +<p>"Well, however it was managed, it was cleverly done. I must say that. I +didn't hardly expect it of you. But you must do the same to-morrow +night, mind you!"</p> + +<p>"Must I, indeed?" she said.</p> + +<p>"Yes, unless you want to ruin me altogether, you must. They're going to +search the premises <i>for you</i>!"</p> + +<p>"I have heard all," she said. "But give yourself no anxiety: by that +time you and I will be beyond human reach."</p> + +<p>"Not me," he corrected. "If you think I'm going to let myself be wafted +over to Cyprus (which is British soil now, let me tell you), you're +under a entire delusion. I've never been wafted anywhere yet, and I +don't mean to try it!"</p> + +<p>All her pent-up wrath broke forth and descended upon him with crushing +force.</p> + +<p>"Meanest and most contemptible of mortal men, you shall recognize me as +the goddess I am! I have borne<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_228" id="Page_228">[Pg 228]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_227" id="Page_227">[Pg 227]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_226" id="Page_226">[Pg 226]</a></span> with you too long; it shall end this +night. Shallow fool that you have been, to match your puny intellect +against a goddess famed for her wiles as for her beauty! You have +thought me simple and guileless; you have never feared to treat me with +disrespect; you have even dared to suppose that you could keep me—an +immortal—pent within these wretched walls! I humoured you; I let you +fool yourself with the notion that your will was free—your soul your +own. Now that is over! Consider the perils which encircle you. +Everything has been aiding to drive you into these arms. My hour of +triumph is at hand—yield, then! Cast yourself at my feet, and grovel +for pardon—for mercy—or assuredly I will spare you not!"</p> + +<p>Leander went down on all fours on the hearthrug. "Mercy!" he cried, +feebly. "I've meant no offence. Only tell me what you want of me."</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 351px;"><a name="DOWN_ON_ALL_FOURS" id="DOWN_ON_ALL_FOURS"></a> +<img src="images/ill-p219.jpg" width="351" height="500" alt="LEANDER WENT DOWN ON ALL FOURS ON THE HEARTHRUG." title="" /> +<span class="caption">LEANDER WENT DOWN ON ALL FOURS ON THE HEARTHRUG.</span> +</div> + +<p>"Why should I tell you again? I demand the words from you which place +you within my power: speak them at once!"</p> + +<p>("Ah," thought Leander, "I am not in her power as it is, then.") "If I +was to tell you once more that I couldn't undertake to say any such +words?" he asked aloud.</p> + +<p>"Then," she said, "my patience would be at an end, and I would scatter +your vile frame to the four winds of heaven!"</p> + +<p>"Lady Venus," said Leander, getting up with a white and desperate face, +"don't drive me into a corner. I can't go off, not at a moment's +notice—in either way! I—I must have a day—only a day—to make my +arrangements in. Give me a day, Lady Venus; I ask it as a partickler +favour!"</p> + +<p>"Be it so," she said. "One day I give you in which<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_229" id="Page_229">[Pg 229]</a></span> to take leave of +such as may be dear to you; but, after that, I will listen to no further +pleadings. You are mine, and, all unworthy as you are, I shall hold you +to your pledge!"</p> + +<p>Leander was left with this terrible warning ringing in his ears: the +goddess would hold him to his involuntary pledge. Even he could see that +it was pride, and not affection, which rendered her so determined; and +he trembled at the thought of placing himself irrevocably in her power.</p> + +<p>But what was he to do? The alternative was too awful; and then, in +either case, he must lose Matilda. Here the recollection of how he had +left her came over him with a vivid force. What must she be thinking of +him at that moment? And who would ever tell her the truth, when he had +been spirited away for ever?</p> + +<p>"Oh, Matilda!" he cried, "if you only knew the hidgeous position I'm +in—if you could only advise me what to do—I could bear it better!"</p> + +<p>And then he resolved that he would ask that advice without delay, and +decide nothing until she replied. There was no reason for any further +concealment: she had seen the statue herself, and must know the worst. +What she could not know was his perfect innocence of any real +unfaithfulness to her, and that he must explain.</p> + +<p>He sat up all night composing a letter that should touch her to the +heart, with the following result:—</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>"<span class="smcap">My own dearest Girl</span>,</p> + +<p>"If such you will still allow me to qualify you, I write to you in +a state of mind that I really 'ardly know what I am about, but I +cannot indure making no effort to clear up the gaping abiss which +the events of the past fatal afternoon has raised betwixt us.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_230" id="Page_230">[Pg 230]</a></span></p> + +<p>"In spite of all I could do, you have now seen, and been justly +alarmed at, the Person with whom I allowed myself to become +involved in such a unhappy and unprecedented manner, and having +done so, you can think for yourself whether that Art of Stone was +able for to supplant yours for a single moment, though the way in +which such a hidgeous Event transpired I can not trust my pen to +describe except in the remark that it was purely axidental. It all +appened on that ill-ominous Saturday when we went down to those +Gardens where my Doom was saving up to lay in wait for me, and I +scorn to deny that Bella's sister Ada was one of the party. But as +to anything serous in that quarter, oh Tilly the ole time I was +contrasting you with her and thinking how truly superior, and never +did I swerve not what could be termed a swerve for a instant. I did +dance arf a walz with her—but why? Because she asked me to it and +as a Gentleman I was bound to oblige! And that was afterwards too, +when I had put that ring on which is the sauce of all my recent +aggony. All the while I was dancing my thoughts were elsewhere—on +how I could get the ring back again, for so I still hoped I could, +though when I came to have a try, oh my dear girl no one couldn't +persuade her she's that obstinate, and yet unless I do it is all +over with me, and soon too!</p> + +<p>"And now if it's the last time I shall ever write words with a +mortal pen, I must request your support in this dilemmer which is +sounding its dread orns at my very door!</p> + +<p>"You know what she is and who she is, and you cannot doubt but what +she's a <i>goddess</i> loath as you must feel to admit such a thing, and +I ask you if it would be downright wicked in me to do what she +tells me I must<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_231" id="Page_231">[Pg 231]</a></span> do. Indeed I wont do it, being no less than flying +with her immediate to a distant climb, and you know how repugnant I +am to such a action—not if you advise me against it or even if you +was but to assure me your affections were unchanged in spite of +all! But you know we parted under pigulier circs, and I cannot +disgise from myself that you may be thinking wuss of me than what +Matilda I can honestly say I deserve!</p> + +<p>"Now I tell you solimly that if this is the fact, and you've been +thinking of your proper pride and your womanly dignity and things +like that—there's <i>no time for to do it in</i> Matilda, if you don't +want to break with me for all Eternity!</p> + +<p>"For she's pressing me to carry out the pledge, as she calls it, +and I must decide before this time to-morrow, and I want to feel +you are not lost to me before I can support my trial, and what with +countless perplexities and burglars threatening, and giving false +informations, and police searching, there's no saying what I may do +nor what I mayn't do if I'm left to myself, for indeed I am very +unappy Matilda, and if ever a man was made a Victim through acting +without intentions, or if with, of the best—I am that Party! O +Matilda don't, don't desert me, unless you have seased to care for +me, and in that contingency I can look upon my Fate whatever it be +with a apathy that will supply the courage which will not even +winch at its approach, but if I am still of value, come, and come +precious soon, or it will be too late to the Asistance of</p> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 19em;">"Your truly penitent and unfortunate</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 26em;">"<span class="smcap">Leander Tweddle</span>.</span><br /> +</p> + +<p>"P.S.—You will see the condition of my feelings from my +spelling—I haven't the hart to spell."</p></div><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_232" id="Page_232">[Pg 232]</a></span></p> + +<p>Dawn was breaking as he put the final touches to this appeal, and read +it over with a gloomy approbation. He had always cherished the +conviction that he could "write a good letter when he was put to it," +and felt now that he had more than risen to the occasion.</p> + +<p>"William shall take it down to Bayswater the first thing to-morrow—no, +to-day, I mean," he said, rubbing his hot eyes. "I fancy it will do my +business!"</p> + +<p>And it did.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_234" id="Page_234">[Pg 234]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_233" id="Page_233">[Pg 233]</a></span></p> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_235" id="Page_235">[Pg 235]</a></span></p><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_236" id="Page_236">[Pg 236]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="THE_LAST_STRAW" id="THE_LAST_STRAW"></a>THE LAST STRAW</h2> + +<h3>XIII.</h3> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 26.5em;">"Thou in justice,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 14em;">If from the height of majesty we can</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 14em;">Look down upon thy lowness and embrace it,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 14em;">Art bound with fervour to look up to me."</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 21em;"><span class="smcap">Massinger</span>, <i>Roman Actor.</i></span><br /><br /> +</p> + +<p>Haggard and distraught was Leander as he went about his business that +morning, so mechanically that one customer, who had requested to have +his luxuriant locks "trimmed," found himself reduced to a state of penal +bullet-headedness before he could protest, and another sacrificed his +whiskers and part of one ear to the hairdresser's uninspired scissors. +For Leander's eyes were constantly turning to the front part of his +shop, where his apprentice might come in at any moment with the answer +to his appeal.</p> + +<p>At last the moment came when the bell fixed at the door sounded sharply, +and he saw the sleek head and chubby red face he had been so anxiously +expecting. He was busy with a customer; but that could not detain him +then, and he rushed quickly into the outer shop. "Well, William," he +said, breathlessly, "a nice time you've been over that message! I gave +you the money for your 'bus."</p> + +<p>"Yusser, but it was this way: you said a green 'bus,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_237" id="Page_237">[Pg 237]</a></span> and I took a green +'bus with 'Bayswater' on it, and I didn't know nothing was wrong, and +when it stopped I sez to the conductor, 'This ain't Kensington +Gardings;' and he sez, 'No, it's Archer Street;' and I sez——"</p> + +<p>"Never mind that now; you got to the shop, didn't you?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, I got to the shop, sir, and I see the lady; but I sez to that +conductor, 'You should ha' told me,' I sez——"</p> + +<p>"Did she give you anything for me?" interrupted Leander, impatiently.</p> + +<p>"Yessur," said the boy.</p> + +<p>"Then where the dooce is it?"</p> + +<p>"'Ere!" said William, and brought out an envelope, which his master tore +open with joy. It contained his own letter!</p> + +<p>"William," he said unsteadily, "is this all?"</p> + +<p>"Ain't it enough, sir?" said the young scoundrel, who had guessed the +state of affairs, and felt an impish satisfaction at his employer's +rejection.</p> + +<p>"None of that, William; d'ye hear me?" said Leander. "William, I ain't +been a bad master to you. Tell me, how did she take it?"</p> + +<p>"Well, she didn't seem to want to take it nohow at first," said the boy. +"I went up to the desk where she was a-sittin' and gave it her, and +by-and-by she opened it with the tips of her fingers, as if it would +bite, and read it all through very careful, and I could see her nose +going up gradual, and her colour coming, and then she sez to me, 'You +may go now, boy; there's no answer.' And I sez to her, 'If you please, +miss, master said as I was not to go away without a answer.' So she sez, +uncommon short and stiff, 'In that case he shall have it!'—like that, +she says, as proud as a queen, and she scribbles<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_238" id="Page_238">[Pg 238]</a></span> a line or two on it, +and throws it to me, and goes on casting up figgers."</p> + +<p>"A line or two! where?" cried Leander, and caught up the letter again. +Yes, there on the last page was Matilda's delicate commercial +handwriting, and the poor man read the cruel words, "<i>I have nothing to +advise; I give you up to your 'goddess'!</i>"</p> + +<p>"Very well, William," he said, with a deadly calm; "that's all. You +young devil! what are you a-sniggering at?" he added, with a sudden +outburst.</p> + +<p>"On'y something I 'eard a boy say in the street, sir, going along, sir; +nothing to do with you, sir."</p> + +<p>"Oh, youth, youth!" muttered the poor broken man; "boys don't grow +feelings, any more than they grow whiskers!"</p> + +<p>And he went back to his saloon, where he was instantly hailed with +reproaches from the abandoned customer.</p> + +<p>"Look here, sir! what do you mean by this? I told you I wanted to be +shaved, and you've soaped the top of my head and left it to cool! +What"—and he made use of expletives here—"what are you about?"</p> + +<p>Leander apologized on the ground of business of a pressing nature, but +the customer was not pacified.</p> + +<p>"Business, sir! your business is <i>here</i>: <i>I'm</i> your business! And I come +to be shaved, and you soap the top of my head, and leave me all alone to +dry! It's scandalous! it's——"</p> + +<p>"Look here, sir," interrupted Leander, gloomily; "I've a good deal of +private trouble to put up with just now, without having <i>you</i> going on +at me; so I must ask you not to 'arris me like this, or I don't know +what I might do, with a razor so 'andy!"</p> + +<p>"That'll do!" said the customer, hastily. "I—I<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_239" id="Page_239">[Pg 239]</a></span> don't care about being +shaved this morning. Wipe my head, and let me go; no, I'll wipe it +myself,—don't you trouble!" and he made for the door. "It's my belief," +he said, pausing on the threshold for an instant, "that you're a +dangerous lunatic, sir; you ought to be shut up!"</p> + +<p>"I dessay I shall have a mad doctor down on me after this," thought +Leander; "but I shan't wait for <i>him</i>. No, it is all over now; the die +is fixed! Cruel Tillie! you have spoke the mandrake; you have thrust me +into the stony harms of that 'eathen goddess—always supposing the +police don't nip in fust, and get the start of her."</p> + +<p>No more customers came that day, which was fortunate, perhaps, for them. +The afternoon passed, and dusk approached, but the hairdresser sat on, +motionless, in his darkening saloon, without the energy to light a +single gas-jet.</p> + +<p>At last he roused himself sufficiently to go to the head of the stairs +leading to his "labatry," and call for William, who, it appeared, was +composing an egg-wash, after one of his employer's formulæ, and came up, +wondering to find the place in darkness.</p> + +<p>"Come here, William," said Leander, solemnly. "I just want a few words +with you, and then you can go. I can do the shutting-up myself. William, +we can none of us foretell the future; and it may so 'appen that you are +looking on my face for the last time. If it should so be, William, +remember the words I am now about to speak, and lay them to 'art!... +This world is full of pitfalls; and some of us walk circumspect and keep +out of 'em, and some of us, William—some of us don't. If there's any +places more abounding in pitfalls than what others are, it is the +noxious localities known under the deceitful appellation of 'pleasure' +gardens. And you<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_240" id="Page_240">[Pg 240]</a></span> may take that as the voice of one calling to you from +the bottom of about as deep a 'ole as a mortal man ever plumped into. +And if ever you find a taste for statuary growing on you, William, keep +it down, wrastle with it, and don't encourage it. Farewell, William! Be +here at the usual time to-morrow, though whether you will find <i>me</i> here +is more than I can say."</p> + +<p>The boy went away, much impressed by so elaborate and formal a parting, +which seemed to him a sign that, in his parlance, "the guv'nor was going +to make a bolt of it."</p> + +<p>Leander busied himself in some melancholy preparations for his impending +departure, dissolution, or incarceration; he was not very clear which it +might be.</p> + +<p>He went down and put his "labatry" in order. There he had worked with +all the fiery zeal of an inventor at the discoveries which were to +confer perpetual youth, in various sized bottles, upon a grateful world. +He must leave them all, with his work scarcely begun! Another would step +in and perfect what he had left incomplete!</p> + +<p>He came up again, with a heavy heart, and examined his till. There was +not much; enough, however, for William's wages and any small debts. He +made a list of these, and left it there with the coin. "They must settle +it among themselves," he thought, wearily; "I can't be bothered with +business now."</p> + +<p>He was thinking whether it was worth while to shut the shop up or not; +when a clear voice sounded from above—</p> + +<p>"Leander, where art thou? Come hither!"</p> + +<p>And he started as if he had been shot. "I'm coming, madam," he called +up, obsequiously. "I'll be with you in one minute!"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_241" id="Page_241">[Pg 241]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Now for it," he thought, as he went up to his sitting-room. "I wish I +wasn't all of a twitter. I wish I knew what was coming next!"</p> + +<p>The room was dark, but when he got a light he saw the statue standing in +the centre of the room, her hood thrown back, and the fur-lined mantle +hanging loosely about her; the face looked stern and terrible under its +brilliant tint.</p> + +<p>"Have you made your choice?" she demanded.</p> + +<p>"Choice!" he said. "I haven't any choice left me!"</p> + +<p>"It is true," she said triumphantly. "Your friends have deserted you; +mortals are banded together to seize and disgrace you: you have no +refuge but with me. But time is short. Come, then, place yourself within +the shelter of these arms, and, while they enfold you tight in their +marble embrace, repeat after me the words which complete my power."</p> + +<p>"There's no partickler hurry," he objected. "I will directly. I—I only +want to know what will happen when I've done it. You can't have any +objection to a natural curiosity like that."</p> + +<p>"You will lose consciousness, to recover it in balmy Cyprus, with +Aphrodite (no longer cold marble, but the actual goddess, warm and +living), by your side! Ah! impervious one, can you linger still? Do you +not tremble with haste to feel my breath fanning your cheek, my soft arm +around your neck? Are not your eyes already dazzled by the gleam of my +golden tresses?"</p> + +<p>"Well, I can't say they are; not at present," said Leander. "And, you +see, it's all very well; but, as I asked you once before, how are you +going to <i>get</i> me there? It's a long way, and I'm ten stone, if I'm an +ounce!"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_242" id="Page_242">[Pg 242]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Heavy-witted youth, it is not your body that will taste perennial +bliss."</p> + +<p>"And what's to become of that, then?" he asked, anxiously.</p> + +<p>"That will be left here, clasped to this stone, itself as cold and +lifeless."</p> + +<p>"Oh!" said Leander, "I didn't bargain for that, and I don't like it."</p> + +<p>"You will know nothing of it; you will be with me, in dreamy grottoes +strewn with fragrant rushes and the new-stript leaves of the vine, where +the warm air woos to repose with its languorous softness, and the water +as it wells murmurs its liquid laughter. Ah! no Greek would have +hesitated thus."</p> + +<p>"Well, I ain't a Greek; and, as a business man, you can't be surprised +if I want to make sure it's a genuine thing, and worth the risk, before +I commit myself. I think I understand that it's the gold ring which is +to bind us two together?"</p> + +<p>"It is," she said; "by that pure and noble metal are we united."</p> + +<p>"Well," said Leander, "that being so, I should wish to have it tested, +else there might be a hitch somewhere or other."</p> + +<p>"Tested!" she cried; "what is that?"</p> + +<p>"Trying it, to see if it's real gold or not," he said. "We can easily +have it done."</p> + +<p>"It is needless," she replied, haughtily. "I will not suffer my power to +be thus doubted, nor that of the pure and precious metal through which I +have obtained it!"</p> + +<p>Leander might have objected to this as an example of that obscure feat, +"begging the question;" for, whether the metal <i>was</i> pure and precious, +was precisely the point he desired to ascertain. And this desire was +quite<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_243" id="Page_243">[Pg 243]</a></span> genuine; for, though he saw no other course before him but that +upon which the goddess insisted, he did wish to take every reasonable +precaution.</p> + +<p>"For all I know," he reasoned in his own mind, "if there's anything +wrong with that ring, I may be left 'igh and dry, halfway to Cyprus; or +she may get tired of me, and turn me out of those grottoes of hers! If I +must go with her, I should like to make things as safe as I could."</p> + +<p>"It won't take long," he pleaded; "and if I find the ring's real gold, I +promise I won't hold out any longer."</p> + +<p>"There is no time," she said, "to indulge this whim. Would you mock me, +Leander? Ha! did I not say so? Listen!"</p> + +<p>The private bell was ringing loudly. Leander rushed to the window, but +saw no one. Then he heard the clang of the shop bell, as if the person +or persons had discovered that an entrance was possible there.</p> + +<p>"The guards!" said the statue. "Will you wait for them, Leander?"</p> + +<p>"No!" he cried. "Never mind what I said about the ring; I'll risk that. +Only—only, don't go away without me.... Tell me what to say, and I'll +say it, and chance the consequences!"</p> + +<p>"Say, 'Aphrodite, daughter of Olympian Zeus, I yield; I fulfil the +pledge; I am thine!'"</p> + +<p>"Well," he thought, "here goes. Oh, Matilda, you're responsible for +this!" And he advanced towards the white extended arms of the goddess. +There were hasty steps outside; another moment and the door would be +burst open.</p> + +<p>"Aphrodite, daughter of——" he began, and recoiled suddenly; for he +heard his name called from without in a voice familiar and once dear to +him.</p> + +<p>"Leander, where are you? It's all dark! Speak to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_246" id="Page_246">[Pg 246]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_245" id="Page_245">[Pg 245]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_244" id="Page_244">[Pg 244]</a></span> me; tell me you've +done nothing rash! Oh, Leander, it's Matilda!"</p> + +<p>That voice, which a short while back he would have given the world to +hear once more, appalled him now. For if she came in, the goddess would +discover who she was, and then—he shuddered to think what might happen +then!</p> + +<p>Matilda's hand was actually on the door. "Stop where you are!" he +shouted, in despair; "for mercy's sake, don't come in!"</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 351px;"><a name="STOP" id="STOP"></a> +<img src="images/ill-p237.jpg" width="351" height="500" alt=""STOP WHERE YOU ARE!... FOR MERCY'S SAKE, DON'T COME +IN!"" title="" /> +<span class="caption">"STOP WHERE YOU ARE!... FOR MERCY'S SAKE, DON'T COME +IN!"</span> +</div> + +<p>"Ah! you are there, and alive!" she cried. "I am not too late; and I +<i>will</i> come in!"</p> + +<p>And in another instant she burst into the room, and stood there, her +tear-stained face convulsed with the horror of finding him in such +company.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_248" id="Page_248">[Pg 248]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_247" id="Page_247">[Pg 247]</a></span></p> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_249" id="Page_249">[Pg 249]</a></span></p><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_250" id="Page_250">[Pg 250]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="THE_THIRTEENTH_TRUMP" id="THE_THIRTEENTH_TRUMP"></a>THE THIRTEENTH TRUMP</h2> + +<h3>XIV.</h3> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>"Your adversary having thus secured the lead with the last trump, +you will be powerless to prevent the bringing-in of the long suit."</p></div> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 31em;"><span class="smcap">Rough's</span> <i>Guide to Whist.</i></span><br /> +</p> +<hr style="width: 35%;" /> +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 14em;">"What! thinkest thou that utterly in vain</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 14em;">Jove is my sire, and in despite my will</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 14em;">That thou canst mock me with thy beauty still?"</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 31em;"><i>Story of Cupid and Psyche.</i></span><br /><br /> +</p> + +<p>Leander, when he wrote his distracted appeal to Matilda, took it for +granted that she had recognized the statue for something of a +supernatural order, and this, combined with his perplexed state of mind, +caused him to be less explicit than he might have been in referring to +the goddess's ill-timed appearance.</p> + +<p>But, unfortunately, as will probably have been already anticipated, the +only result of this reticence was, that Matilda saw in his letter an +abject entreaty for her consent to his marriage with Ada Parkinson, to +avoid legal proceedings, and, under this misapprehension, she wrote the +line that abandoned all claims upon him, and then went on with her +accounts, which were not so neatly kept that day as usual.</p> + +<p>What she felt most keenly in Leander's conduct was, that he should have +placed the ring, which to all intent<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_251" id="Page_251">[Pg 251]</a></span> was her own, upon the finger of +another. She could not bear to think of so unfeeling an act, and yet she +thought of it all through the long day, as she sat, outwardly serene, at +her high desk, while her attendants at her side made up sprays for +dances and wreaths for funerals from the same flowers.</p> + +<p>And at last she felt herself urged to a course which, in her ordinary +mind, she would have shrunk from as a lowering of her personal dignity: +she would go and see her rival, and insist that this particular +humiliation should be spared her. The ring was not Leander's to dispose +of—at least, to dispose of thus; it was not right that any but herself +should wear it; and, though the token could never now be devoted to its +rightful use, she wanted to save it from what, in her eyes, was a kind +of profanation.</p> + +<p>She would not own it to herself, but there was a motive stronger than +all this—the desire to relieve her breast of some of the indignation +which was choking her, and of which her pride forbade any betrayal to +Leander himself.</p> + +<p>This other woman had supplanted her; but she should be made to feel the +wrong she had done, and her triumphs should be tempered with shame, if +she were capable of such a sensation. Matilda knew very well that the +ring was not hers, and she wanted it no longer; but, then, it was Miss +Tweddle's, and she would claim it in her name.</p> + +<p>She easily obtained permission to leave somewhat earlier that evening, +as she did not often ask such favours, and soon found herself at Madame +Chenille's establishment, where she remembered to have heard from Bella +that her sister was employed.</p> + +<p>She asked for the forewoman, and begged to be allowed to speak to Miss +Parkinson in private for a very<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_252" id="Page_252">[Pg 252]</a></span> few minutes; but the forewoman referred +her to the proprietress, who made objections: such a thing was never +permitted during business hours, the shop would close in an hour, till +then Miss Parkinson was engaged in the showroom, and so on.</p> + +<p>But Matilda carried her point at last, and was shown to a room in the +basement, where the assistants took their meals, there to wait until +Miss Parkinson could be spared from her duties.</p> + +<p>Matilda waited in the low, dingy room, where the tea-things were still +littering the table, and as she paced restlessly about, trying to feel +an interest in the long-discarded fashion-plates which adorned the +walls, her anger began to cool, and give place to something very like +nervousness.</p> + +<p>She wished she had not come. What, after all, was she to say to this +girl when they met? And what was Leander—base and unworthy as he had +shown himself—to her any longer? Why should she care what he chose to +do with the ring? And he would be told of her visit, and think——No! +that was intolerable: she would not gratify his vanity and humble +herself in this way. She would slip quietly out, and leave her rival to +enjoy her victory!</p> + +<p>But, just as she was going to carry out this intention, the door opened, +and a short, dark young woman appeared. "I'm told there was a young +person asking to speak to me," she said; "I'm Ada Parkinson."</p> + +<p>At the name, Matilda's heart swelled again with the sense of her +injuries; and yet she was unprepared for the face that met her eyes. +Surely her rival had both looked and spoken differently the night +before? And yet, she had been so agitated that very likely her +recollections were not to be depended upon.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_253" id="Page_253">[Pg 253]</a></span></p> + +<p>"I—I did want to see you," she said, and her voice shook, as much from +timidity as righteous indignation. "When I tell you who I am, perhaps +you will guess why. I am Matilda Collum."</p> + +<p>Miss Parkinson showed no symptoms of remorse. "What!" she cried, "the +young lady that Mr. Tweddle is courting? Fancy!"</p> + +<p>"After what happened last night," said Matilda, trembling exceedingly, +"you know that that is all over. I didn't come to talk about that. If +you knew—and I think you must have known—all that Mr. Tweddle was to +me, you have—you have not behaved very well; but he is nothing to me +any more, and it is not worth while to be angry. Only, I don't think you +ought to keep the ring—not <i>that</i> ring!"</p> + +<p>"Goodness gracious me!" cried Ada. "What in the world is all this about? +What ring oughtn't I to keep?"</p> + +<p>"You know!" retorted Matilda. "How can you pretend like that? The ring +he gave you that night at Rosherwich!"</p> + +<p>"The girl's mad!" exclaimed the other. "He never gave me a ring in all +his life! I wouldn't have taken it, if he'd asked me ever so. Mr. +Tweddle indeed!"</p> + +<p>"Why do you say that?" said Matilda. "He has not got it himself, and +your sister said he gave it to you, and—and I saw it with my own eyes +on your hand!"</p> + +<p>"Oh, <i>dear</i> me!" said Ada, petulantly, holding out her hand, "look +there—is that it?—is this? Well, these are all that I have, whether +you believe me or not; one belonged to my poor mother, and the other was +a present, only last Friday, from the gentleman that's their head +traveller, next door, and is going to be my husband. Is<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_254" id="Page_254">[Pg 254]</a></span> it likely that +I should be wearing any other now?—ask yourself!"</p> + +<p>"You wouldn't wish to deceive me, I hope," said Matilda; "and oh, Miss +Parkinson, you might be open with me, for I'm so very miserable! I don't +know what to think. Tell me just this: did you—wasn't it you who came +last night to Miss Tweddle's?"</p> + +<p>"No!" returned Ada, impatiently—"no, as many times as you please! And +if Bella likes to say I did, she may; and she always was a +mischief-making thing! How could I, when I didn't know there was any +Miss Tweddle to come to? And what do you suppose I should go running +about after Mr. Tweddle for? I wonder you're not ashamed to say such +things!"</p> + +<p>"But," faltered Matilda, "you did go to those gardens with him, didn't +you? And—and I know he gave the ring to somebody!"</p> + +<p>Ada began to laugh. "You're quite correct, Miss Collum," she said; "so +he did. Don't you want to know who he gave it to?"</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Matilda, "and you will tell me. I have a right to be told. I +was engaged to him, and the ring was given to him for me—not for any +one else. You <i>will</i> tell me, Miss Parkinson, I am sure you will?"</p> + +<p>"Well," said Ada, still laughing, "I'll tell you this much—she's a +foreign lady, very stiff and stuck-up and cold. She's got it, if any one +has. I saw him put it on myself!"</p> + +<p>"Tell me her name, if you know it."</p> + +<p>"I see you won't be easy till you know all about it. Her name's +Afriddity, or Froddity, or something outlandish like that. She lives at +Rosherwich, a good deal in the open air, and—there, don't be +ridiculous—it's only a <i>statue</i>! There's a pretty thing to be jealous +of!"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_255" id="Page_255">[Pg 255]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Only a statue!" echoed Matilda. "Oh! Heaven be with us both, if—if +that was It!"</p> + +<p>Certain sentences in the letter she had returned came to her mind with a +new and dreadful significance. The appearance of the visitor last +night—Leander's terror—all seemed to point to some unsuspected +mystery.</p> + +<p>"It can't be—no, it can't! Miss Parkinson, you were there: tell me all +that happened, quick! You don't know what may depend on it!"</p> + +<p>"What! not satisfied even now?" cried Ada. "<i>Well</i>, Miss Collum, talk +about jealousy! But, there, I'll tell you all I know myself."</p> + +<p>And she gave the whole account of the episode with the statue, so far as +she knew it, even to the conversation which led to the production of the +ring.</p> + +<p>"You see," she concluded, "that it was all on your account that he tried +it on at all, and I'm sure he talked enough about you all the evening. I +really was a little surprised when I found <i>you</i> were his Miss Collum. +(You won't mind my saying so?) If I was you, I should go and tell him I +forgave him, now. I do think he deserves it, poor little man!"</p> + +<p>"Yes, yes!" cried Matilda; "I'll go—I'll go at once! Thank you, Miss +Parkinson, for telling me what you have!" And then, as she remembered +some dark hints in Leander's letter: "Oh, I must make haste! He may be +going to do something desperate—he may have done it already!"</p> + +<p>And, leaving Miss Parkinson to speculate as she pleased concerning her +eccentricity, she went out into the broad street again; and, +unaccustomed as she was to such expenditure, hailed a hansom; for there +was no time to be lost.</p> + +<p>She had told the man to drive to the Southampton<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_256" id="Page_256">[Pg 256]</a></span> Row Passage at first, +but, as she drew nearer, she changed her purpose; she did not like to go +alone, for who knew what she might see there? It was out of the question +to expect her mother to accompany her, but her friend and landlady would +not refuse to do so; and she drove to Millman Street, and prevailed on +Miss Tweddle to come with her without a moment's delay.</p> + +<p>The two women found the shop dark, but unshuttered; there was a light in +the upper room. "You stay down here, please," said Matilda; "if—if +anything is wrong, I will call you." And Miss Tweddle, without very well +understanding what it was all about, and feeling fluttered and out of +breath, was willing enough to sit down in the saloon and recover +herself.</p> + +<p>And so it came to pass that Matilda burst into the room just as the +hairdresser was preparing to pronounce the inevitable words that would +complete the goddess's power. He stood there, pale and dishevelled, with +eyes that were wild and bordered with red. Opposite to him was the being +she had once mistaken for a fellow-creature.</p> + +<p>Too well she saw now that the tall and queenly form, with the fixed eyes +and cold tinted mask, was inspired by nothing human; and her heart died +within her as she gazed, spellbound, upon her formidable rival.</p> + +<p>"Leander," she murmured, supporting herself against the frame of the +door, "what are you going to do?"</p> + +<p>"Keep back, Matilda!" he cried desperately; "go away—it's too late +now!"</p> + +<p>A moment before, and, deserted as he believed himself to be by love and +fortune alike, he had been almost resigned to the strange and shadowy +future which lay before him; but now—now that he saw Matilda there in +his room, no longer scornful or indifferent, but pale and concerned, her +pretty grey eyes dark and wide with<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_257" id="Page_257">[Pg 257]</a></span> anguish and fear for him—he felt +all he was giving up; he had a sudden revulsion, a violent repugnance to +his doom.</p> + +<p>She loved him still! She had repented for some reason. Oh! why had she +not done so before? What could he do now? For her own sake he must steel +himself to tell her to leave him to his fate; for he knew well that if +the goddess were to discover Matilda's real relations to him, it might +cost his innocent darling her life!</p> + +<p>For the moment he rose above his ordinary level. He lost all thought of +self. Let Aphrodite take him if she would, but Matilda must be saved. +"Go away!" he repeated; and his voice was cracked and harsh, under the +strain of doing such violence to his feelings. "Can't you see +you're—you're not wanted? Oh, do go away—while you can!"</p> + +<p>Matilda closed the door behind her. "Do you think," she said, catching +her breath painfully, "that I shall go away and leave you with That!"</p> + +<p>"Leander," said the statue, "command your sister to depart!"</p> + +<p>"I'm <i>not</i> his"—Matilda was beginning impetuously, till the hairdresser +stopped her.</p> + +<p>"You <i>are</i>!" he cried. "You know you're my sister—you've forgotten it, +that's all.... Don't say a syllable now, do you hear me? She's going, +Lady Venus, going directly!"</p> + +<p>"Indeed I'm not," said Matilda, bravely.</p> + +<p>"Leave us, maiden!" said the statue. "Your brother is yours no longer, +he is mine. Know you who it is that commands? Tremble then, nor oppose +the will of Aphrodite of the radiant eyes!"</p> + +<p>"I never heard of you before," said Matilda, "but I'm not afraid of you. +And, whoever or whatever you<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_258" id="Page_258">[Pg 258]</a></span> are, you shall not take my Leander away +against his will. Do you hear? You could never be allowed to do that!"</p> + +<p>The statue smiled with pitying scorn. "His own act has given me the +power I hold," she said, "and assuredly he shall not escape me!"</p> + +<p>"Listen," pleaded Matilda; "perhaps you are not really wicked, it is +only that you don't know! The ring he put—without ever thinking what he +was doing—on your finger was meant for mine. It was, really! He is my +lover; give him back to me!"</p> + +<p>"Matilda!" shrieked the wretched man, "you don't know what you're doing. +Run away, quick! Do as I tell you!"</p> + +<p>"So," said the goddess, turning upon him, "in this, too, you have tried +to deceive me! You have loved—you still love this maiden!"</p> + +<p>"Oh, not in that way!" he shouted, overcome by his terror for Matilda. +"There's some mistake. You mustn't pay any attention to what she says: +she's excited. All my sisters get like that when they're excited—they'd +say <i>any</i>thing!"</p> + +<p>"Silence!" commanded the statue. "Should not I have skill to read the +signs of love? This girl loves you with no sister's love. Deny it not!"</p> + +<p>Leander felt that his position was becoming untenable; he could only +save Matilda by a partial abandonment. "Well, suppose she does," he +said, "I'm not obliged to return it, am I?"</p> + +<p>Matilda shrank back. "Oh, Leander!" she cried, with a piteous little +moan.</p> + +<p>"You've brought it on yourself!" he said; "you will come here +interfering!"</p> + +<p>"Interfering!" she repeated wildly, "you call it that! How can I help +myself? Am I to stand by and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_259" id="Page_259">[Pg 259]</a></span> see you giving yourself up to, nobody can +tell what? As long as I have strength to move and breath to speak I +shall stay here, and beg and pray of you not to be so foolish and wicked +as to go away with her! How do you know where she will take you to?"</p> + +<p>"Cease this railing!" said the statue. "Leander loves you not! Away, +then, before I lay you dead at my feet!"</p> + +<p>"Leander," cried the poor girl, "tell me: it isn't true what she says? +You didn't mean it! you <i>do</i> love me! You don't really want me to go +away?"</p> + +<p>For her own sake he must be cruel; but he could scarcely speak the words +that were to drive her from his side for ever. "This—this lady," he +said, "speaks quite correct. I—I'd very much rather you went!"</p> + +<p>She drew a deep sobbing breath. "I don't care for anything any more!" +she said, and faced the statue defiantly. "You say you can strike me +dead," she said: "I'm sure I hope you can! And the sooner the +better—for I will not leave this room!"</p> + +<p>The dreamy smile still curved the statue's lips, in terrible contrast to +the inflexible purpose of her next words.</p> + +<p>"You have called down your own destruction," she said, "and death shall +be yours!"</p> + +<p>"Stop a bit," cried Leander, "mind what you're doing! Do you think I'll +go with you if you touch a single hair of my poor Tillie's head? Why, +I'd sooner stay in prison all my life! See here," and he put his arm +round Matilda's slight form; "if you crush her, you crush me—so now!"</p> + +<p>"And if so," said the goddess, with cruel contempt, "are you of such +value in my sight that I should stay my hand? You, whom I have sought +but to manifest my<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_260" id="Page_260">[Pg 260]</a></span> power, for no softer feelings have you ever +inspired! And now, having withstood me for so long, you turn, even at +the moment of yielding, to yonder creature! And it is enough. I will +contend no longer for so mean a prize! Slave and fool that you have +shown yourself, Aphrodite rejects you in disdain!"</p> + +<p>Leander made no secret of his satisfaction at this. "Now you talk +sense!" he cried. "I always told you we weren't suited. Tillie, do you +hear? She gives me up! She gives me up!"</p> + +<p>"Aye," she continued, "I need you not. Upon you and the maiden by your +side I invoke a speedy and terrible destruction, which, ere you can +attempt to flee, shall surely overtake you!"</p> + +<p>Leander was so overcome by this highly unexpected sentence that he lost +all control over his limbs; he could only stand where he was, supporting +Matilda, and stare at the goddess in fascinated dismay.</p> + +<p>The goddess was raising both hands, palm upwards, to the ceiling, and +presently she began to chant in a thrilling monotone: "Hear, O Zeus, +that sittest on high, delighting in the thunder, hear the prayer of thy +daughter, Aphrodite the peerless, as she calleth upon thee, nor suffer +her to be set at nought with impunity! Rise now, I beseech thee, and +hurl with thine unerring hand a blazing bolt that shall consume these +presumptuous insects to a smoking cinder! Blast them, Sire, with the +fire-wreaths of thy lightning! blast, and spare not!"</p> + +<p>"Kiss me, Tillie, and shut your eyes," said Leander; "it's coming!"</p> + +<p>She was nestling close against him, and could not repress a faint +shivering moan. "I don't mind, now we're together," she whispered, "if +only it won't hurt much!"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_261" id="Page_261">[Pg 261]</a></span></p> + +<p>The prayer uttered with such deadly intensity had almost ceased to +vibrate in their ears, but still the answer tarried; it tarried so long +that Leander lost patience, and ventured to open his eyes a little way. +He saw the goddess standing there, with a strained expectation on her +upturned face.</p> + +<p>"I don't wish to hurry you, mum," he said tremulously; "but you ought to +be above torturing us. Might I ask you to request your—your relation to +look sharp with that thunderbolt?"</p> + +<p>"Zeus!" cried the goddess, and her accent was more acute, "thou hast +heard—thou wilt not shame me thus! Must I go unavenged?"</p> + +<p>Still nothing whatever happened, until at last even Matilda unclosed her +eyes. "Leander!" she cried, with a hysterical little laugh, "<i>I don't +believe she can do it!</i>"</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 347px;"><a name="LEANDER" id="LEANDER"></a> +<img src="images/ill-p255.jpg" width="347" height="500" alt=""LEANDER!" SHE CRIED, ... "I DON'T BELIEVE SHE CAN DO +IT!"" title="" /> +<span class="caption">"LEANDER!" SHE CRIED, ... "I DON'T BELIEVE SHE CAN DO +IT!"</span> +</div> + +<p>"No more don't I!" said the hairdresser, withdrawing his arm, and coming +forward boldly. "Now look here, Lady Venus," he remarked, "it's time +there was an end of this, one way or the other; we can't be kept up here +all night, waiting till it suits your Mr. Zooce to make cockshies of us. +Either let him do it now, or let it alone!"</p> + +<p>The statue's face seemed to be illumined by a stronger light. "Zeus, I +thank thee!" she exclaimed, clasping her pale hands above her head; "I +am answered! I am answered!"</p> + +<p>And, as she spoke, a dull ominous rumble was heard in the distance.</p> + +<p>"Matilda, here!" cried the terrified hairdresser, running back to his +betrothed; "keep close to me. It's all over this time!"</p> + +<p>The rumble increased to a roll, which became<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_264" id="Page_264">[Pg 264]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_263" id="Page_263">[Pg 263]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_262" id="Page_262">[Pg 262]</a></span> a clanking rattle, and +then lessened again to a roll, died away to the original rumble, and was +heard no more.</p> + +<p>Leander breathed again. "To think of my being taken in like that!" he +cried. "Why, it's only a van out in the street! It's no good, mum; you +can't work it: you'd better give it up!"</p> + +<p>The goddess seemed to feel this herself, for she was wringing her hands +with a low wail of despair. "Is there none to hear?" she lamented. "Are +they all gone—all? Then is Aphrodite fallen indeed; deserted of the +gods, her kinsmen; forgotten of mortals; braved and mocked by such as +these! Woe! woe! for Olympus in ruins, and Time the dethroner of +deities!"</p> + +<p>Leander would hardly have been himself if he had forborne to take +advantage of her discomfiture. "You see, mum," he said, "you're not +everybody. You mustn't expect to have everything your own way down here. +We're in the nineteenth century nowadays, mum, and there's another +religion come in since you were the fashion!"</p> + +<p>"<i>Don't</i>, Leander!" said Matilda, in an undertone; "let her alone, the +poor thing!"</p> + +<p>She seemed to have quite forgotten that her fallen enemy had been +dooming her to destruction the moment before; but there was something so +tragic and moving in the sight of such despair that no true woman could +be indifferent to it.</p> + +<p>Either the taunt or the compassion, however, roused the goddess to a +frenzy of passion. "Hold your peace!" she said fiercely, and strode down +upon Leander until he beat an instinctive retreat. "Fallen as I am, I +will not brook your mean vauntings or insolent pity! Shorn I may be of +my ancient power, but something of my<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_265" id="Page_265">[Pg 265]</a></span> divinity clings to me still. +Vengeance is not wholly denied to me! Why should I not deal with you +even as with those profane wretches who laid impious hands upon this my +effigy? Why? why?"</p> + +<p>Leander began to feel uncomfortable again. "If I've said anything you +object to," he said hastily, "I'll apologise. I will—and so will +Matilda—freely and full; in writing, if that will satisfy you!"</p> + +<p>"Tremble not for your worthless bodies," she said; "had you been slain, +as I purposed, you would but have escaped me, after all! Now a vengeance +keener and more enduring shall be mine! In your gross blindness, you +have dared to turn from divine Aphrodite to such a thing as this, and +for your impiety you shall suffer! This is your doom, and so much at +least I can still accomplish: Long as you both may live, strong as your +love may endure, never again shall you see her alone, never more shall +she be folded to your breast! For ever, I will stand a barrier between +you: so shall your days consume away in the torturing desire for a +felicity you may never attain!"</p> + +<p>"It seems to me, Tillie," said Leander, looking round at her with hollow +eyes, "that we may as well give up keeping company together, after +that!"</p> + +<p>Matilda had been weeping quietly. "Oh no, Leander, not that! Don't let +us give each other up: we may—we may get used to it!"</p> + +<p>"That is not all," said the revengeful goddess. "I understand but little +of the ways of this degenerate age. But one thing I know: this very +night, guards are on their way to search this abode for the image in +which I have chosen to reveal myself; and, should they find that they +are in search of, you will be dragged to some dungeon, and suffer +deserved ignominy. It pleased me<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_266" id="Page_266">[Pg 266]</a></span> yesternight to shield you: to-night, +be very sure that this marble form shall not escape their vigilance!"</p> + +<p>He felt at once that this, at least, was no idle threat. The police +might arrive at any instant; she had only to vacate the marble at the +moment of their entry—and what could he do? How could he explain its +presence? The gates of Portland or Dartmoor were already yawning to +receive him! Was it too late, even then, to retrieve the situation? "If +it wasn't for Tillie, I could see my way to something, even now," he +thought. "I can but try!"</p> + +<p>"Lady Venus," he began, clearing his throat, "it's not my desire to be +the architect of any mutual unpleasantness—anything but! I don't see +any use in denying that you've got the best of it. I'm done—reg'lar +bowled over; and if ever there was a poor devil of a toad under a +harrer, I've no hesitation in admitting that toad's me! So the only +point I should like to submit for your consideration is this: Have +things gone too far? Are you quite sure you won't be spiting yourself as +well as me over this business? Can't we come to an amicable arrangement? +Think it over!"</p> + +<p>"Leander, you can't mean it!" cried Matilda.</p> + +<p>"You leave me alone," he said hoarsely; "I know what I'm saying!"</p> + +<p>Whether the goddess had overstated her indifference, or whether she may +have seen a prospect of some still subtler revenge, she certainly did +not receive this proposition of Leander's with the contumely that might +have been expected; on the contrary, she smiled with a triumphant +satisfaction that betrayed a disposition to treat.</p> + +<p>"Have my words been fulfilled, then?" she asked. "Is your insolent pride +humbled at last? and do you<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_267" id="Page_267">[Pg 267]</a></span> sue to me for the very favours you so long +have spurned?"</p> + +<p>"You can put it that way if you like," he said doggedly. "If you want +me, you'd better say so while there's time, that's all!"</p> + +<p>"Little have you merited such leniency," she said; "and yet, it is to +you I owe my return to life and consciousness. Shall I abandon what I +have taken such pains to win? No! I accept your submission. Speak, then, +the words of surrender, and let us depart together!"</p> + +<p>"Before I do that," he said firmly, "there's one point I must have +settled to my satisfaction."</p> + +<p>"You can bargain still!" she exclaimed haughtily. "Are all barbers like +you? If your point concerns the safety of this maiden, be at ease; she +shall go unharmed, for she is my rival no longer!"</p> + +<p>"Well, it wasn't that exactly," he explained; "but I'm doubtful about +that ring being the genuine article, and I want to make sure."</p> + +<p>"But a short time since, and you were willing to trust all to me!"</p> + +<p>"I was; but, if I may take the liberty of observing so, things were +different then. You were wrong about that thunderbolt—you may be wrong +about the ring!"</p> + +<p>"Fool!" she said, "how know you that the quality of the token concerns +my power? Were it even of unworthy metal, has it not brought me hither?"</p> + +<p>"Yes," he said, "but it mightn't be strong enough to pass <i>me</i> the whole +distance, and where should I be then? It don't look more to me than 15 +carat, and I daren't run any extra risk."</p> + +<p>"How, then, can your doubts be set at rest?" she demanded.</p> + +<p>"Easy," he replied: "there are men who understand<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_268" id="Page_268">[Pg 268]</a></span> these things. All I +ask of you is to step over with me, and see one of them, and take his +opinion; and if he says it's gold—why, then I shall know where I am!"</p> + +<p>"Aphrodite submit her claims to the judgment of a mortal!" she cried. +"Never will I thus debase myself!"</p> + +<p>"Very well," he said, "then we must stay where we are. All I can say is, +I've made you a fair offer."</p> + +<p>She paused. "Why not?" she said dreamily, as if thinking aloud. "Have +not I sued ere this for the decision of a shepherd judge—even of Paris? +'Tis but one last indignity, and then—he is mine indeed! Leander," she +added graciously, "it shall be as you will. Lead the way; I follow!"</p> + +<p>But Matilda, who had been listening to this compromise with incredulous +horror, clung in desperation to her lover's arm, and sought to impede +his flight. "Leander!" she cried, "oh, Leander! surely you won't be mad +enough to go away with her! You won't be so wicked and sinful as that! +Remember who she is: one of the false gods of the poor benighted +heathens—she owned it herself! She's nothing less than a live idol! +Think of all the times we've been to chapel together; think of your dear +aunt, and how she'll feel your being in such awful company! Let the +police come, and think what they like: we'll tell them the truth, and +make them believe it. Only be brave, and stay here with me; don't let +her ensnare you! Have some pity for me; for, if you leave me, I shall +die!"</p> + +<p>"Already the guards are at your gates," said the statue; "choose +quickly—while you may!"</p> + +<p>He put Matilda gently from him: "Tillie," he said, with a convulsive +effort to remain calm, "you gave me up of your own free will—you know +that—and now you've come round too late. The other lady spoke first!"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_269" id="Page_269">[Pg 269]</a></span></p> + +<p>As she still clung to him, he tried to whisper some last words of a +consoling or reassuring nature, and she suddenly relaxed her grasp, and +allowed him to make his escape without further dissuasion—not that his +arguments had reconciled her to his departure, but because she was +mercifully unaware of it.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_270" id="Page_270">[Pg 270]</a></span></p> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_271" id="Page_271">[Pg 271]</a></span></p><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_272" id="Page_272">[Pg 272]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="THE_ODD_TRICK" id="THE_ODD_TRICK"></a>THE ODD TRICK</h2> + +<h3>XV.</h3> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 14em;">"O heart of stone, are you flesh, and caught</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 14em;">By that you swore to withstand?"</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 25em;"><i>Maud.</i></span><br /><br /> +</p> + +<p>Outside on the stairs Leander suddenly remembered that his purpose +might be as far as ever from being accomplished. The house was being +watched: to be seen leaving it would procure his instant arrest.</p> + +<p>Hastily excusing himself to the goddess, he rushed down to his +laboratory, where he knew there was a magnificent beard and moustache +which he had been constructing for some amateur theatricals. With these, +and a soft felt hat, he completed a disguise in which he flattered +himself he was unrecognisable.</p> + +<p>The goddess, however, penetrated it as soon as he rejoined her. "Why +have you thus transformed yourself?" she inquired coldly.</p> + +<p>"Because," explained Leander, "seeing the police are all on the look-out +for me, I thought it couldn't do any harm."</p> + +<p>"It is useless!" she returned.</p> + +<p>"To be sure," he agreed blankly, "they'll expect me to go out disguised. +If only they aren't up to the way out by the back! That's our only +chance now."</p> + +<p>"Leave all to me," she replied calmly; "with Aphrodite you are safe."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_273" id="Page_273">[Pg 273]</a></span></p> + +<p>And he never did quite understand how that strange elopement was +effected, or even remember whether they left the house from the front or +rear. The statue glided swiftly on, and, grasping a corner of her robe, +he followed, with only the vaguest sense of obstacles overcome and +passed as in a dream.</p> + +<p>By the time he had completely regained his senses he was in a crowded +thoroughfare, which he recognised as the Gray's Inn Road.</p> + +<p>A certain scheme from which, desperate as it was, he hoped much, might +be executed as well here as elsewhere, and he looked about him for the +aid on which he counted.</p> + +<p>"Where, then, lives the wise man whom you would consult?" said +Aphrodite.</p> + +<p>Leander went on until he could see the coloured lights of a chemist's +window, and then he said, "There—right opposite!"</p> + +<p>He felt strangely nervous himself, but the goddess seemed even more so. +She hung back all at once, and clutched his arm in her marble grasp.</p> + +<p>"Leander," she said, "I will not go! See those liquid fires glowing in +lurid hues, like the eyes of some dread monster! This test of yours is +needless, and I fear it."</p> + +<p>"Lady Venus," he said earnestly, "I do assure you they're only big +bottles, and quite harmless too, having water in them, not physic. +You've no call to be alarmed."</p> + +<p>She yielded, and they crossed the road. The shop was small and +unpretending. In the window the chief ornaments were speckled plaster +limbs clad in elastic socks, and photographs of hideous complaints +before and after treatment with a celebrated ointment; and there<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_274" id="Page_274">[Pg 274]</a></span> were +certain trophies which indicated that the chemist numbered dentistry +among his accomplishments.</p> + +<p>Inside, the odour of drugs prevailed, in the absence of the subtle +perfume that is part of the fittings of a fashionable apothecary, and on +the very threshold the goddess paused irresolute.</p> + +<p>"There is magic in the air," she exclaimed, "and fearful poisons. This +man is some enchanter!"</p> + +<p>"Now I put it to you," said Leander, with some impatience, "does he +<i>look</i> it?"</p> + +<p>The chemist was a mild little man, with a high forehead, round +spectacles, a little red beak of a nose, and a weak grey beard. As they +entered, he was addressing a small and draggled child from behind his +counter. "Go back and tell your mother," he said, "that she must come +herself. I never sell paregoric to children."</p> + +<p>There was so little of the wizard in his manner that the goddess, who +possibly had some reason to mistrust a mortal magician, was reassured.</p> + +<p>As the child retired, the chemist turned to them with a look of bland +and dignified inquiry (something, perhaps the consciousness of having +once passed an examination, sustains the meekest chemist in an inward +superiority). He did not speak.</p> + +<p>Leander took it upon himself to explain. "This lady would be glad to be +told whether a ring she's got on is the real article or only imitation," +he said, "so she thought you could decide it for her."</p> + +<p>"Not so," corrected the goddess, austerely. "For myself I care not!"</p> + +<p>"Have it your own way!" said Leander. "<i>I</i> should like to be told, then. +I suppose, mister, you've some way of testing these things?"</p> + +<p>"Oh yes," said the chemist; "I can treat it for you<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_275" id="Page_275">[Pg 275]</a></span> with what we call +<i>aquafortis</i>, a combination of nitric and hydrochloric acid, which would +tell us at once. I ought to mention, perhaps, that so extremely powerful +an agent may injure the appearance of the metal if it is of inferior +quality. Will the lady oblige me with the ring?"</p> + +<p>Aphrodite extended her hand with haughty indifference. The chemist +examined the ring as it circled her finger, and Leander held his breath +in tortures of anxiety. A horrible fear came over him that his deep-laid +scheme was about to end in failure.</p> + +<p>But the chemist remarked at last: "Exactly; thank you, madam. The gold +is antique, certainly; but I should be inclined to pronounce it, at +first sight, genuine. I will ascertain how this is, if you will take the +trouble to remove the ring and pass it over!"</p> + +<p>"Why?" demanded Aphrodite, obstinately.</p> + +<p>"I could not undertake to treat it while it remains upon your hand," he +protested. "The acid might do some injury!"</p> + +<p>"It matters not!" she said calmly; and Leander recollected with horror +that, as any injury to her statue would have no physical effect upon the +goddess herself, she could not be much influenced by the chemist's +reason.</p> + +<p>"Do what the gentleman tells you," he said, in an eager whisper, as he +drew her aside.</p> + +<p>"I know your wiles, O perfidious one," she said. "Having induced me to +remove this token, you would seize it yourself, and take to flight! I +will not remove this ring!"</p> + +<p>"There's a thing to say!" said Leander; "there's a suspicion to throw +against a man! If you think I'm likely to do that, I'll go right over +here, where I can't even see it, and I won't stir out till it's all +over. Will<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_276" id="Page_276">[Pg 276]</a></span> that satisfy you? You know why I'm so anxious about that +ring; and now, when the gentleman tells you he's almost sure it's +gold——"</p> + +<p>"It <i>is</i> gold!" said the goddess.</p> + +<p>"If you're so sure about it," he retaliated, "why are you afraid to have +it proved?"</p> + +<p>"I am not afraid," she said; "but I require no proof!"</p> + +<p>"I do," he retorted, "and what I told you before I stand to. If that +ring is proved—in the only way it can be proved, I mean, by this +gentleman testing it as he tells you he can—then there's no more to be +said, and I'll go away with you like a lamb. But without that proof I +won't stir a step, and so I tell you. It won't take a moment. You can +see for yourself that I couldn't possibly catch up the ring from here!"</p> + +<p>"Swear to me," she said, "that you will remain where you now stand; and +remember," she added, with an accent of triumph, "our compact is that, +should yonder man pronounce that the ring has passed through the test +with honour, you will follow me whithersoever I bid you!"</p> + +<p>"You have only to lead the way," he said, "and I promise you faithfully +I'll follow."</p> + +<p>Goddesses may be credited with some knowledge of the precious metals, +and Aphrodite had no doubt of the result of the chemist's +investigations. So it was with an air of serene anticipation that she +left Leander upon this, and advanced to the chemist's counter.</p> + +<p>"Prove it now," she said, "quickly, that I may go!"</p> + +<p>The chemist, who had been waiting in considerable bewilderment, prepared +himself to receive the ring, and Leander, keeping his distance, felt his +heart beating fast<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_277" id="Page_277">[Pg 277]</a></span> as Aphrodite slowly drew the token from her finger, +and placed it in the chemist's outstretched hand.</p> + +<p>Scarcely had she done so, as the chemist was retiring with the ring to +one of his lamps, before the goddess seemed suddenly aware that she had +committed a fatal error.</p> + +<p>She made a stride forward to follow and recover it; but, as if some +unseen force was restraining her, she stopped short, and a rush of +whirling words, in some tongue unknown both to Leander and the chemist, +forced its way through lips that smiled still, though they were freezing +fast.</p> + +<p>Then, with a strange hoarse cry of baffled desire and revenge, she +succeeded, by a violent effort, in turning, and bore down with +tremendous force upon the cowering hairdresser, who gave himself up at +once for lost.</p> + +<p>But the marble was already incapable of obeying her will. Within a few +paces from him the statue stopped for the last time, with an abruptness +that left it quivering and rocking. A greyish hue came over the face, +causing the borrowed tints to stand forth, crude and glaring; the arms +waved wildly and impotently once or twice, and then grew still for ever, +in the attitude conceived long since by the Grecian sculptor!</p> + +<p>Leander was free! His hazardous experiment had succeeded. As it was the +ring which had brought the passionate, imperious goddess into her marble +counterfeit, so—the ring once withdrawn—her power was instantly at an +end, and the spell which had enabled her to assume a form of stone was +broken.</p> + +<p>He had hoped for this, had counted upon it, but even yet hardly dared to +believe in his deliverance.</p> + +<p>He had not done with it yet, however; for he would have to get the +statue out of that shop, and abandon it in some manner which would not +compromise himself,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_278" id="Page_278">[Pg 278]</a></span> and it is by no means an easy matter to mislay a +life-size and invaluable antique without attracting an inconvenient +amount of attention.</p> + +<p>The chemist, who had been staring meanwhile in blank astonishment, now +looked inquiringly at Leander, who looked helplessly at him.</p> + +<p>At last the latter, unable to be silent any longer, said, "The lady +seems unwell, sir."</p> + +<p>"Why," Leander admitted, "she does appear a little out of sorts."</p> + +<p>"Has she had these attacks before, do you happen to know?"</p> + +<p>"She's more often like this than not," said Leander.</p> + +<p>"Dear me, sir; but that's very serious. Is there nothing that gives +relief?—a little sal volatile, now? Does the lady carry smelling salts? +If not, I could——" And the chemist made an offer to come from behind +his counter to examine the strange patient.</p> + +<p>"No," said Leander, hastily. "Don't you trouble—you leave her to me. I +know how to manage her. When she's rigid like this, she can't bear to be +taken notice of."</p> + +<p>He was wondering all the time how he was to get away with her, until the +chemist, who seemed at least as anxious for her departure, suggested the +answer: "I should imagine the poor lady would be best at home. Shall I +send out for a cab?" he asked.</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Leander, gratefully; "bring a hansom. She'll come round +better in the open air;" for he had his doubts whether the statue could +be stowed inside a four-wheeler.</p> + +<p>"I'll go myself," said the obliging man; "my assistant's out. Perhaps +the lady will sit down till the cab comes?"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_279" id="Page_279">[Pg 279]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Thanks," said Leander; "but when she's like this, she's been +recommended to stand."</p> + +<p>The chemist ran out bare-headed, to return presently with a cab and a +small train of interested observers. He offered the statue his arm to +the cab-door, an attention which was naturally ignored.</p> + +<p>"We shall have to carry her there," said Leander.</p> + +<p>"Why, bless me, sir," said the chemist, as he helped to lift her, +"she—she's surprisingly heavy!"</p> + +<p>"Yes," gasped Leander, over her unconscious shoulder; "when she goes off +in one of these sleeps, she does sleep very heavy"—an explanation +which, if obscure, was accepted by the other as part of the general +strangeness of the case.</p> + +<p>On the threshold the chemist stopped again. "I'd almost forgotten the +ring," he said.</p> + +<p>"<i>I'll</i> take that!" said Leander.</p> + +<p>"Excuse me," was the objection, "but I was to give it back to the lady +herself. Had I not better put it on her finger, don't you think?"</p> + +<p>"Are you a married man?" asked Leander, grimly.</p> + +<p>"Yes," said the chemist.</p> + +<p>"Then, if you'll take my advice, I wouldn't if I was you—if you're at +all anxious to keep out of trouble. You'd better give the ring to me, +and I give you my word of honour as a gentleman that I'll give it back +to her as soon as ever she's well enough to ask for it."</p> + +<p>The other adopted the advice, and, amidst the sympathy of the +bystanders, they got the statue into the cab.</p> + +<p>"Where to?" asked the man through the trap.</p> + +<p>"Charing Cross," said Leander, at random; he ought the drive would give +him time for reflection.</p> + +<p>"The 'orspital, eh?" said the cabman, and drove off,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_280" id="Page_280">[Pg 280]</a></span> leaving the mild +chemist to stare open-mouthed on the pavement for a moment, and go back +to his shop with a growing sense that he had had a very unusual +experience.</p> + +<p>Now that Leander was alone in the cab with the statue, whose attitude +required space, and cramped him uncomfortably, he wondered more and more +what he was to do with it. He could not afford to drive about London for +ever with her; he dared not take her home; and he was afraid of being +seen with her!</p> + +<p>All at once he seemed to see a way out of his difficulty. His first step +was to do what he could, in the constantly varying light, to reduce the +statue to its normal state. He removed the curls which had disfigured +her classical brow, and, with his pocket-handkerchief, rubbed most of +the colour from her face; then the cloak had only to be torn off, and +all that could betray him was gone.</p> + +<p>Near Charing Cross, Leander told the driver to take him down Parliament +Street, and stop at the entrance to Scotland Yard; there the cabman, at +Leander's request, descended, and stared to find him huddled up under +the gleaming pale arms of a statue.</p> + +<p>"Guv'nor," he remarked, "that warn't the fare I took up, I'll take my +dying oath!"</p> + +<p>"It's all right," said Leander. "Now, I tell you what I want you to do: +go straight in through the archway, find a policeman, and say there's a +gentleman in your cab that's found a valuable article that's been +missing, and wants assistance in bringing it in. I'll take care of the +cab, and here's double fare for your trouble."</p> + +<p>"And wuth it, too," was the cabman's comment, as he departed on his +mission. "I thought it was the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_281" id="Page_281">[Pg 281]</a></span> devil I was a drivin', we was that down +on the orfside!"</p> + +<p>It was no part of Leander's programme to wait for his return; he threw +the cloak over his arm, pocketed his beard, and slipped out of the cab +and across the road to a spot whence he could watch unseen. And when he +had seen the cabman come with two constables, he felt assured that his +burden was in safe hands at last, and returned to Southampton Row as +quickly as the next hansom he hailed could take him.</p> + +<p>He entered his house by the back entrance: it was unguarded; and +although he listened long at the foot of the stairs, he heard nothing. +Had the Inspector not come yet, or was there a trap? As he went on, he +fancied there were sounds in his sitting-room, and went up to the door +and listened nervously before entering in.</p> + +<p>"Oh, Miss Collum, my poor dear!" a tremulous voice, which he recognised +as his aunt's, was saying, "for Mercy's sake, don't lie there like that! +She's dying!—and it's my fault for letting her come here!—and what am +I to say to her ma?"</p> + +<p>Leander had heard enough; he burst in, with a white, horror-stricken +face. Yes, it was too true! Matilda was lying back in his crazy +armchair, her eyes fast closed, her lips parted.</p> + +<p>"Aunt," he said with difficulty, "she's not—not <i>dead</i>?"</p> + +<p>"If she is not," returned his aunt, "it's no thanks to you, Leandy +Tweddle! Go away; you can do no good to her now!"</p> + +<p>"Not till I've heard her speak," cried Tweddle. "Tillie, don't you +hear?—it's me!"</p> + +<p>To his immense relief, she opened her eyes at the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_284" id="Page_284">[Pg 284]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_283" id="Page_283">[Pg 283]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_282" id="Page_282">[Pg 282]</a></span> sound of his voice, +and turned away with a feeble gesture of fear and avoidance. "You have +come back!" she moaned, "and with her! Oh, keep her away!... I can't +bear it all over again!... I can't!"</p> + +<p>He threw himself down by her chair, and drew down the hands in which she +had hidden her face. "Matilda, my poor, hardly-used darling!" he said, +"I've come back <i>alone</i>! I've got rid of her, Tillie! I'm free; and +there's no one to stand between us any more!"</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 351px;"><a name="THREW_HIMSELF_DOWN" id="THREW_HIMSELF_DOWN"></a> +<img src="images/ill-p275.jpg" width="351" height="500" alt="HE THREW HIMSELF DOWN BY HER CHAIR, AND DREW DOWN THE +HANDS IN WHICH SHE HAD HIDDEN HER FACE." title="" /> +<span class="caption">HE THREW HIMSELF DOWN BY HER CHAIR, AND DREW DOWN THE +HANDS IN WHICH SHE HAD HIDDEN HER FACE.</span> +</div> + +<p>She pushed back her disordered fair hair, and looked at him with sweet, +troubled eyes. "But you went away with her—for ever?" she said. "You +said you didn't love me any longer. I heard you ... it was just +before——" and she shuddered at the recollection.</p> + +<p>"I know," said Leander, soothingly. "I was obligated to speak harsh, to +deceive the—the other party, Tillie. I tried to tell you, quiet-like, +that you wasn't to mind; but you wouldn't take no notice. But there, we +won't talk about it any more, so long as you forgive me; and you do, +don't you?"</p> + +<p>She hid her face against his shoulder, in answer, from which he drew a +favourable conclusion; but Miss Tweddle was not so easily pacified.</p> + +<p>"And is this all the explanation you're going to give," she demanded, +"for treating this poor child the way you've done, and neglecting her +shameful like this? If she's satisfied, Leandy, I'm not."</p> + +<p>"I can't help it, aunt," he said. "I've been true to Tillie all the way +through, in spite of all appearances to the contrary—as she knows now. +And the more I explained, the less you'd understand about it; so we'll +leave things where they are. But I've got back the ring, and now you +shall see me put it on her finger."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_285" id="Page_285">[Pg 285]</a></span></p><hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>It seemed that Leander had driven to Scotland Yard just in time to save +himself, for the Inspector did not make his threatened search that +evening.</p> + +<p>Two or three days later, however, to Leander's secret alarm, he entered +the shop. After all, he felt, it was hopeless to think of deceiving +these sleuth-hounds of the Law: this detective had been making +inquiries, and identified him as the man who had shared the hansom with +that statue!</p> + +<p>His knees trembled as he stood behind his glass-topped counter. "Come to +make the search, sir?" he said, as cheerfully as he could. "You'll find +us ready for you."</p> + +<p>"Well," said Inspector Bilbow, with a queer mixture of awkwardness and +complacency, "no, not exactly. Tweddle, my good fellow, circumstances +have recently assumed a shape that renders a search unnecessary, as +perhaps you are aware?"</p> + +<p>He looked very hard at Tweddle as he spoke, and the hairdresser felt +that this was a crucial moment—the detective was still uncertain +whether he had been mixed up with the affair or not. Leander's faculty +of ready wit served him better here than on past occasions.</p> + +<p>"Aware? No, sir!" he said, with admirable simplicity. "Then that's why +you didn't come the other evening! I sat up for you, sir; all night I +sat up."</p> + +<p>"The fact of the matter is, Tweddle," said Bilbow, who had become +suddenly affable and condescending, "I found myself reduced, so to +speak, to make use of you as a false clue, if you catch my meaning?"</p> + +<p>"I can't say I do quite understand, sir."</p> + +<p>"I mean—of course, I saw with half an eye, bless your soul, that you'd +had nothing to do with it—it wasn't likely that a poor chap like you +had any<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_286" id="Page_286">[Pg 286]</a></span> knowledge of a big plant of that description. No, no; don't you +go away with that idea. I never associated you with it for a single +instant."</p> + +<p>"I'm truly glad to hear it, Mr. Inspector," said Leander.</p> + +<p>"It was owing to the line I took up. There were the real parties to put +off their guard, and to do that, Tweddle—to do that, it was necessary +to appear to suspect you. D'ye see?"</p> + +<p>"I think it was a little hard on me, sir," he said; "for being suspected +like that hurts a man's feelings, sir. I did feel wounded to have that +cast up against me!"</p> + +<p>"Well, well," said the Inspector, "we'll go into that later. But, to go +on with what I was saying. My tactics, Tweddle, have been crowned with +success—the famous Venus is now safe in my hands! What do you say to +that?"</p> + +<p>"Say? Why, what clever gentlemen you detective officers are, to be +sure!" cried Leander.</p> + +<p>"Well, to be candid, there's not many in the Department that would have +managed the job as neatly; but, then, it was a case I'd gone into, and +thoroughly got up."</p> + +<p>"That I'm sure you must have done, sir," agreed Leander. "How ever did +you come on it?" He felt a kind of curiosity to hear the answer.</p> + +<p>"Tweddle," was the solemn reply, "that is a thing you must be content to +leave in its native mystery" (which Leander undoubtedly was). "We in the +Criminal Investigation Department have our secret channels and our +underground sources for obtaining information, but to lay those channels +and sources bare to the public would serve no useful end, nor would it +be an expedient act on my part. All you have any claim to be told is,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_287" id="Page_287">[Pg 287]</a></span> +that, however costly and complicated, however dangerous even, the means +employed may have been (that I say nothing about), the ultimate end has +been obtained. The Venus, sir, will be restored to her place in the +Gallery at Wricklesmarsh Court, without a scratch on her!"</p> + +<p>"You don't say so! Lor!" cried Leander, hoping that his countenance +would keep his secret, "well, there now! And my ring, sir, if you +remember—isn't <i>that</i> on her?"</p> + +<p>"You mustn't expect us to do everything. Your ring was, as I had every +reason to expect it would be, missing. But I shall be talking the matter +over with Sir Peter Purbecke, who's just come back to Wricklesmarsh from +the Continent, and, provided—ahem!—you don't go talking about this +affair, I should feel justified in recommending him to make you some +substantial acknowledgment for any—well, little inconvenience you may +have been put to on account of your slight connection with the business, +and the steps I may have thought proper to take in consequence. And, +from all I hear of Sir Peter, I think he would be inclined to come down +uncommonly handsome."</p> + +<p>"Well, Mr. Inspector," said Leander, "all I can say is this: if Sir +Peter was to know the life his statue has led me for the past few days, +I think he'd say I deserved it—I do, indeed!"</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> +<h2>CONCLUSION.</h2> + +<p>The narrow passage off Southampton Row is at present without a +hairdresser's establishment, Leander having resigned his shop, long +since, in favour of either a fruiterer or a stationer.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_288" id="Page_288">[Pg 288]</a></span></p> + +<p>But, in one of the leading West End thoroughfares there is a large and +prosperous hair-cutting saloon, over which the name of "Tweddle" +glitters resplendent, and the books of which would prove too much for +Matilda, even if more domestic duties had not begun to claim her +attention.</p> + +<p>Leander's troubles are at end. Thanks to Sir Peter Purbecke's +munificence, he has made a fresh start; and, so far, Fortune has +prospered him. The devices he has invented for correcting Nature's more +palpable errors in taste are becoming widely known, while he is famous, +too, as the gifted author of a series of brilliant and popular +hairwashes. He is accustoming his clients to address him as +"Professor"—a title which he has actually had conferred upon him from a +quarter in which he is, perhaps, the most highly appreciated—for +prosperity has not exactly lessened his self-esteem.</p> + +<p>Mr. Jauncy, too, is a married man, although he does not respond so +heartily to congratulations. There is no intimacy between the two +households, the heads of which recognise that, as Leander puts it, +"their wives harmonise better apart."</p> + +<p>To the new collection of Casts from the Antique, at South Kensington, +there has been recently added one which appears in the official +catalogue under the following description:—</p> + +<p>"<i>The Cytherean Venus.</i>—Marble statue. Found in a grotto in the Island +of Cerigo. Now in the collection of Sir Peter Purbecke, at Wricklesmarsh +Court, Black-heath.</p> + +<p>"This noble work has been indifferently assigned to various periods; the +most general opinion, however, pronounces it to be a copy of an earlier +work of Alkamenes, or possibly Kephisodotos.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_289" id="Page_289">[Pg 289]</a></span></p> + +<p>"The unusual smallness of the extremities seems to betray the hand of a +restorer, and there are traces of colour in the original marble, which +are supposed to have been added at a somewhat later period."</p> + +<p>Should Professor Tweddle ever find himself in the Museum on a Bank +Holiday, and enter the new gallery, he could hardly avoid seeing the +magnificent cast numbered 333 in the catalogue, and reviving thereby +recollections he has almost succeeded in suppressing.</p> + +<p>But this is an experience he will probably spare himself; for he is +known to entertain, on principle, very strong prejudices against +sculpture, and more particularly the Antique.</p> + +<h4>THE END.</h4> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Tinted Venus, by F. 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Anstey + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Tinted Venus + A Farcical Romance + +Author: F. Anstey + +Illustrator: Bernard Partridge + +Release Date: January 7, 2008 [EBook #24197] +[Last updated: September 14, 2020] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE TINTED VENUS *** + + + + +Produced by David Clarke, Annie McGuire and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This +file was produced from images generously made available +by The Internet Archive/Canadian Libraries) + + + + + + + + + +******************************************************* +Transcriber's Note: The author was inconsistent in the +use of single quotes in contracted words. All have +been retained as in the original. +******************************************************* + + + + +THE TINTED VENUS +A Farcical Romance + +BY + +F. ANSTEY + +AUTHOR OF +"THE GIANT'S ROBE," "VICE VERSA," ETC. + +ILLUSTRATED BY BERNARD PARTRIDGE + +NEW YORK AND LONDON +HARPER AND BROTHERS +1898 + + + + + "To you, + Free and ingenious spirits, he doth now + In me, present his service, with his vow + He hath done his best; and, though he cannot glory + In his invention (this work being a story + Of reverend antiquity), he doth hope + In the proportion of it, and the scope, + You may observe some pieces drawn like one + Of a steadfast hand; and with the whiter stone + To be marked in your fair censures. More than this + I am forbid to promise." + + MASSINGER. + + + + +CONTENTS. + + + PAGE + + I. IN PURSUIT OF PLEASURE 3 + + II. PLEASURE IN PURSUIT 27 + + III. A DISTINGUISHED STRANGER 43 + + IV. FROM BAD TO WORSE 55 + + V. AN EXPERIMENT 77 + + VI. TWO ARE COMPANY 93 + + VII. A FURTHER PREDICAMENT 109 + + VIII. BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND THE DEEP SEA 127 + + IX. AT LAST! 151 + + X. DAMOCLES DINES OUT 169 + + XI. DENOUNCED 189 + + XII. AN APPEAL 207 + + XIII. THE LAST STRAW 227 + + XIV. THE THIRTEENTH TRUMP 241 + + XV. THE ODD TRICK 263 + + + + +LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS. + + + PAGE + + "THERE," HE SAID TRIUMPHANTLY, "IT MIGHT HAVE + BEEN MADE FOR HER!" 25 + + "ANSWER ME," HE SAID ROUGHLY; "IS THIS SOME LARK + OF YOURS?" 32 + + "DID YOU WANT TO SEE ME ON--ON BUSINESS, MUM?" 47 + + "WHAT WOULD BE DONE TO HIM?" ASKED THE HAIRDRESSER, + WITH A QUITE UNPLEASANT INTERNAL + SENSATION 67 + + "KEEP OFF! TELL HER TO DROP IT, TWEDDLE!" 86 + + "IT IS A MISERABLE THING," HE WAS THINKING, "FOR + A MAN ... TO HAVE A FEMALE STATUE TROTTING + AFTER HIM LIKE A GREAT DORG" 104 + + SHE WAS STANDING BEFORE THE LOW CHIMNEY-GLASS, + REGARDING HERSELF INTENTLY 119 + + "FOR 'ARF A PINT I'D KNOCK YOUR BLOOMIN' 'ED IN!" 140 + + "WHY DID YOU NOT KNEEL TO ME BEFORE?" 161 + + SHE STRUCK A NAMELESS FEAR INTO LEANDER'S SOUL 177 + + HER HANDS WERE UNSTEADY WITH PASSION AS SHE TIED + HER BONNET-STRINGS 199 + + LEANDER WENT DOWN ON ALL FOURS ON THE HEARTH-RUG 220 + + "STOP WHERE YOU ARE!... FOR MERCY'S SAKE, DON'T COME IN!" 238 + + "LEANDER!" SHE CRIED, ... "I DON'T BELIEVE SHE + CAN DO IT!" 255 + + HE THREW HIMSELF DOWN BY HER CHAIR, AND DREW + DOWN THE HANDS IN WHICH SHE HAD HIDDEN HER + FACE 276 + + + + +IN PURSUIT OF PLEASURE + +I. + + "Ther hopped Hawkyn, + Ther daunsed Dawkyn, + Ther trumped Tomkyn...." + + _The Tournament of Tottenham._ + + +In Southampton Row, Bloomsbury, there is a small alley or passage +leading into Queen Square, and rendered inaccessible to all but foot +passengers by some iron posts. The shops in this passage are of a +subdued exterior, and are overshadowed by a dingy old edifice dedicated +to St. George the Martyr, which seems to have begun its existence as a +rather handsome chapel, and to have improved itself, by a sort of +evolution, into a singularly ugly church. + +Into this alley, one Saturday afternoon late in October, came a short +stout young man, with sandy hair, and a perpetual grin denoting +anticipation rather than enjoyment. Opposite the church he stopped at a +hairdresser's shop, which bore the name of Tweddle. The display in the +window was chastely severe; the conventional half-lady revolving slowly +in fatuous self-satisfaction, and the gentleman bearing a piebald beard +with waxen resignation, were not to be found in this shop-front, which +exhibited nothing but a small pile of toilet remedies and a few lengths +of hair of graduated tints. It was doubtful, perhaps, whether such +self-restraint on the part of its proprietor was the result of a +distaste for empty show, or a conviction that the neighbourhood did not +expect it. + +Inside the shop there was nobody but a small boy, corking and labelling +bottles; but before he could answer any question as to the whereabouts +of his employer, that artist made his appearance. Leander Tweddle was +about thirty, of middle height, with a luxuriant head of brown hair, and +carefully-trimmed whiskers that curled round towards his upper lip, +where they spent themselves in a faint moustache. His eyes were rather +small, and his nose had a decided upward tendency; but, with his +pink-and-white complexion and compact well-made figure, he was far from +ill-looking, though he thought himself even farther. + +"Well, Jauncy," he said, after the first greetings, "so you haven't +forgot our appointment?" + +"Why, no," explained his friend; "but I never thought I should get away +in time to keep it. We've been in court all the morning with motions and +short causes, and the old Vice sat on till past three; and when we did +get back to chambers, Splitter kep' me there discussing an opinion of +his I couldn't agree with, and I was ever so long before I got him to +alter it my way." + +For he was clerk to a barrister in good practice, and it was Jauncy's +pride to discover an occasional verbal slip in some of his employer's +more hastily written opinions on cases, and suggest improvements. + +"Well, James," said the hairdresser, "I don't know that I could have got +away myself any earlier. I've been so absorbed in the laborrit'ry, what +with three rejuvenators and an elixir all on the simmer together, I +almost gave way under the strain of it; but they're set to cool now, and +I'm ready to go as soon as you please." + +"Now," said Jauncy, briskly, as they left the shop together, "if we're +to get up to Rosherwich Gardens to-night, we mustn't dawdle." + +"I just want to look in here a minute," said Tweddle, stopping before +the window of a working-jeweller, who sat there in a narrow partition +facing the light, with a great horn lens protruding from one of his eyes +like a monstrous growth. "I left something there to be altered, and I +may as well see if it's done." + +Apparently it was done, for he came out almost immediately, thrusting a +small cardboard box into his pocket as he rejoined his friend. "Now we'd +better take a cab up to Fenchurch Street," said Jauncy. "Can't keep +those girls standing about on the platform." + +As they drove along, Tweddle observed, "I didn't understand that our +party was to include the fair sect, James?" + +"Didn't you? I thought my letter said so plain enough. I'm an engaged +man now, you know, Tweddle. It wouldn't do if I went out to enjoy myself +and left my young lady at home!" + +"No," agreed Leander Tweddle, with a moral twinge, "no, James. I'd +forgot you were engaged. What's the lady's name, by-the-by?" + +"Parkinson; Bella Parkinson," was the answer. + +Leander had turned a deeper colour. "Did you say," he asked, looking out +of the window on his side of the hansom, "that there was another lady +going down?" + +"Only Bella's sister, Ada. She's a regular jolly girl, Ada is, +you'll----Hullo!" + +For Tweddle had suddenly thrust his stick up the trap and stopped the +cab. "I'm very sorry, James," he said, preparing to get out, "but--but +you'll have to excuse me being of your company." + +"Do you mean that my Bella and her sister are not good enough company +for you?" demanded Jauncy. "You were a shop-assistant yourself, Tweddle, +only a short while ago!" + +"I know that, James, I know; and it isn't that--far from it. I'm sure +they are two as respectable girls, and quite the ladies in every +respect, as I'd wish to meet. Only the fact is----" + +The driver was listening through the trap, and before Leander would say +more he told him to drive on till further orders, after which he +continued-- + +"The fact is--we haven't met for so long that I dare say you're unaware +of it--but _I'm_ engaged, James, too!" + +"Wish you joy with all my heart, Tweddle; but what then?" + +"Why," exclaimed Leander, "my Matilda (that's _her_ name) is the dearest +girl, James; but she's most uncommon partickler, and I don't think she'd +like my going to a place of open-air entertainment where there's +dancing--and I'll get out here, please!" + +"Gammon!" said Jauncy. "That isn't it, Tweddle; don't try and humbug me. +You were ready enough to go just now. You've a better reason than that!" + +"James, I'll tell you the truth; I have. In earlier days, James, I used +constantly to be meeting Miss Parkinson and her sister in serciety, and +I dare say I made myself so pleasant and agreeable (you know what a way +that is of mine), that Miss Ada (not _your_ lady, of course) may have +thought I meant something special by it, and there's no saying but what +it might have come in time to our keeping company, only I happened just +then to see Matilda, and--and I haven't been near the Parkinsons ever +since. So you can see for yourself that a meeting might be awkward for +all parties concerned; and I really must get out, James!" + +Jauncy forced him back. "It's all nonsense, Tweddle," he said, "you +can't back out of it now! Don't make a fuss about nothing. Ada don't +look as if she'd been breaking her heart for you!" + +"You never can tell with women," said the hairdresser, sententiously; +"and meeting me sudden, and learning it could never be--no one can say +how she mightn't take it!" + +"I call it too bad!" exclaimed Jauncy. "Here have I been counting on you +to make the ladies enjoy themselves--for I haven't your gift of +entertaining conversation, and don't pretend to it--and you go and leave +me in the lurch, and spoil their evening for them!" + +"If I thought I was doing that----" said Leander, hesitating. + +"You are, you know you are!" persisted Jauncy, who was naturally anxious +to avoid the reduction of his party to so inconvenient a number as +three. + +"And see here, Tweddle, you needn't say anything of your engagement +unless you like. I give you my word I won't, not even to Bella, if +you'll only come! As to Ada, she can take care of herself, unless I'm +very much mistaken in her. So come along, like a good chap!" + +"I give in, James; I give in," said Leander. "A promise is a promise, +and yet I feel somehow I'm doing wrong to go, and as if no good would +come of it. I do indeed!" + +And so he did not stop the cab a second time, and allowed himself to be +taken without further protest to Fenchurch Street Station, on the +platform of which they found the Misses Parkinson waiting for them. + +Miss Bella Parkinson, the elder of the two, who was employed in a large +toy and fancy goods establishment in the neighbourhood of Westbourne +Grove, was tall and slim, with pale eyes and auburn hair. She had some +claims to good looks, in spite of a slightly pasty complexion, and a +large and decidedly unamiable mouth. + +Her sister Ada was the more pleasing in appearance and manner, a +brunette with large brown eyes, an impertinent little nose, and a +brilliant healthy colour. She was an assistant to a milliner and +bonnet-maker in the Edgware Road. + +Both these young ladies, when in the fulfilment of their daily duties, +were models of deportment; in their hours of ease, the elder's cold +dignity was rather apt to turn to peevishness, while the younger sister, +relieved from the restraints of the showroom, betrayed a lively and even +frivolous disposition. + +It was this liveliness and frivolity that had fascinated the hairdresser +in days that had gone by; but if he had felt any self-distrust now in +venturing within their influence, such apprehensions vanished with the +first sight of the charms which had been counteracted before they had +time to prevail. + +She was well enough, this Miss Ada Parkinson, he thought now; a +nice-looking girl in her way, and stylishly dressed. But his Matilda +looked twice the lady she ever could, and a vision of his betrothed (at +that time taking a week's rest in the country) rose before him, as if to +justify and confirm his preference. + +The luckless James had to undergo some amount of scolding from Miss +Bella for his want of punctuality, a scolding which merely supplied an +object to his grin; and during her remarks, Ada had ample time to rally +Leander Tweddle upon his long neglect, and used it to the best +advantage. + +Perhaps he would have been better pleased by a little less +insensibility, a touch of surprise and pleasure on her part at meeting +him again, as he allowed himself to show in a remark that his absence +did not seem to have affected her to any great extent. + +"I don't know what you expected, Mr. Tweddle," she replied. "Ought I to +have cried both my eyes out? You haven't cried out either of yours, you +know!" + +"'Men must work, and women must weep,' as Shakspeare says," he observed, +with a vague idea that he was making rather an apt quotation. But his +companion pointed out that this only applied to cases where the women +had something to weep about. + +The party had a compartment to themselves, and Leander, who sat at one +end opposite to Ada, found his spirits rising under the influence of her +lively sallies. + +"That's the only thing Matilda wants," he thought, "a little more +liveliness and go about her. I like a little chaff myself, now and then, +I must say." + +At the other end of the carriage, Bella had been suggesting that the +gardens might be closed so late in the year, and regretting that they +had not chosen the new melodrama at the Adelphi instead; which caused +Jauncy to draw glowing pictures of the attractions of Rosherwich +Gardens. + +"I was there a year ago last summer," he said, "and it was first-rate: +open-air dancing, summer theatre, rope-walking, fireworks, and supper +out under the trees. You'll enjoy yourself, Bella, right enough when you +get there!" + +"If that isn't enough for you, Bella," cried her sister, "you must be +difficult to please! I'm sure I'm quite looking forward to it; aren't +you, Mr. Tweddle?" + +The poor man was cursed by the fatal desire of pleasing, and +unconsciously threw an altogether unnecessary degree of _empressement_ +into his voice as he replied, "In the company I am at present, I should +look forward to it, if it was a wilderness with a funeral in it." + +"Oh dear me, Mr. Tweddle, that _is_ a pretty speech!" said Ada, and she +blushed in a manner which appalled the conscience-stricken hairdresser. + +"There I go again," he thought remorsefully, "putting things in the poor +girl's head--it ain't right. I'm making myself too pleasant!" + +And then it struck him that it would be only prudent to make his +position clearly understood, and, carefully lowering his voice, he began +a speech with that excellent intention. "Miss Parkinson," he said +huskily, "there's something I have to tell you about myself, very +particular. Since I last enjoyed the pleasure of meeting with you my +prospects have greatly altered, I am no longer----" + +But she cut him short with a little gesture of entreaty. "Oh, not here, +please, Mr. Tweddle," she said; "tell me about it in the gardens!" + +"Very well," he said, relieved; "remind me when we get there--in case I +forget, you know." + +"Remind you!" cried Ada; "the _idea_, Mr. Tweddle! I certainly shan't do +any such thing." + +"She thinks I am going to propose to her!" he thought ruefully; "it will +be a delicate business undeceiving her. I wish it was over and done +with!" + +It was quite dark by the time they had crossed the river by the ferry, +and made their way up to the entrance to the pleasure gardens, imposing +enough, with its white colonnade, its sphinxes, and lines of coloured +lamps. + +But no one else had crossed with them; and, as they stood at the +turnstiles, all they could see of the grounds beyond seemed so dark and +silent that they began to have involuntary misgivings. "I suppose," +said Jauncy to the man at the ticket-hole, "the gardens are open--eh?" + +"Oh yes," he said gruffly, "_they're_ open--they're _open_; though there +ain't much going on out-of-doors, being the last night of the season." + +Bella again wished that they had selected the Adelphi for their +evening's pleasure, and remarked that Jauncy "might have known." + +"Well," said the latter to the party generally, "what do you say--shall +we go in, or get back by the first train home?" + +"Don't be so ridiculous, James!" said Bella, peevishly. "What's the good +of going back, to be too late for everything. The mischief's done now." + +"Oh, let's go in!" advised Ada; "the amusements and things will be just +as nice indoors--nicer on a chilly evening like this;" and Leander +seconded her heartily. + +So they went in; Jauncy leading the way with the still complaining +Bella, and Leander Tweddle bringing up the rear with Ada. They picked +their way as well as they could in the darkness, caused by the closely +planted trees and shrubs, down a winding path, where the sopped leaves +gave a slippery foothold, and the branches flicked moisture insultingly +in their faces as they pushed them aside. + +A dead silence reigned everywhere, broken only by the wind as it rustled +amongst the bare twigs, or the whistling of a flaring gas-torch +protruding from some convenient tree. + +Jauncy occasionally shouted back some desperate essay at jocularity, at +which Ada laughed with some perseverance, until even she could no longer +resist the influence of the surroundings. + +On a hot summer's evening those grounds, brilliantly illuminated and +crowded by holiday-makers, have been the delight of thousands of honest +Londoners, and will be so again; but it was undeniable that on this +particular occasion they were pervaded by a decent melancholy. + +Ada had slipped a hand, clad in crimson silk, through Leander's arm as +they groped through the gloom together, and shrank to his side now and +then in an alarm which was only half pretended. But if her light +pressure upon his arm made his heart beat at all the faster, it was only +at the fancy that the trusting hand was his Matilda's, or so at least +did he account for it to himself afterwards. + +They followed on, down a broad promenade, where the ground glistened +with autumn damps, and the unlighted lamps looked wan and spectral. +There was a bear-pit hard by, over the railings of which Ada leaned and +shouted a defiant "Boo;" but the bears had turned in for the night, and +the stone re-echoed her voice with a hollow ring. Indistinct bird forms +were roosting in cages; but her umbrella had no effect upon them. + +Jauncy was waiting for them to come up, perhaps as a protection against +his _fiancee's_ reproaches. "In another hour," he said, with an implied +apology, "you'll see how different this place looks. We--we're come a +little too early. Suppose we fill up the time by a nice little dinner at +the Restorong--eh, Ada? What do you think, Tweddle?" + +The suggestion was received favourably, and Jauncy, thankful to retrieve +his reputation as leader, took them towards the spot where food was to +be had. + +Presently they saw lights twinkling through the trees, and came to a +place which was clearly the focus of festivity. There was the open-air +theatre, its drop-scene lowered, its proscenium lost in the gloom; +there was the circle for _al-fresco_ dancing, but it was bare, and the +clustered lights were dead; there was the restaurant, dark and silent +like all else. + +Jauncy stood there and rubbed his chin. "This is where I dined when we +were here last," he said, at length; "and a capital little dinner they +gave us too!" + +"What _I_ should like to know," said the elder Miss Parkinson, "is, +where are we to dine to-night?" + +"Yes," said Jauncy, encouragingly; "don't you fret yourself, Bella. +Here's an old party sweeping up leaves, we'll ask him." + +They did so, and were referred to a large building, in the Gothic style, +with a Tudor doorway, known as the "Baronial All," where lights shone +behind the painted windows. + +Inside, a few of the lamps around the pillars were lighted, and the body +of the floor was roped in as if for dancing; but the hall was empty, +save for a barmaid, assisted by a sharp little girl, behind the long bar +on one of its sides. + +Jauncy led his dejected little party up to this, and again put his +inquiry with less hopefulness. When he found that the only available +form of refreshment that evening was bitter ale and captain's biscuits, +mitigated by occasional caraway seeds, he became a truly pitiable +object. + +"They--they don't keep this place up on the same scale in the autumn, +you see," he explained weakly. "It's very different in summer; what they +call 'an endless round of amusements.'" + +"There's an endless round of amusement now," observed Ada; "but it's a +naught!" + +"Oh, there'll be something going on by-and-by, never fear," said Jauncy, +determined to be sanguine; "or else they wouldn't be open." + +"There'll be dancing here this evening," the barmaid informed him. "That +is all we open for at this time of year; and this is the last night of +the season." + +"Oh!" said Jauncy, cheerfully; "you see we only came just in time, +Bella; and I suppose you'll have a good many down here to-night--eh, +miss?" + +"How much did we take last Saturday, Jenny?" said the barmaid to the +sharp little girl. + +"Seven and fourpence 'ap'ny--most of it beer," said the child. +"Margaret, I may count the money again to-night, mayn't I?" + +The barmaid made some mental calculation, after which she replied to +Jauncy's question. "We may have some fifteen couples or so down +to-night," she said; "but that won't be for half an hour yet." + +"The question is," said Jauncy, trying to bear up under this last blow; +"the question is, How are we to amuse ourselves till the dancing +begins?" + +"I don't know what others are going to do," Bella announced; "but I +shall stay here, James, and keep warm--if I can!" and once more she +uttered her regret that they had not gone to the Adelphi. + +Her sister declined to follow her example. "I mean to see all there is +to be seen," she declared, "since we are here; and perhaps Mr. Tweddle +will come and take care of me. Will you, Mr. Tweddle?" + +He was not sorry to comply, and they wandered out together through the +grounds, which offered considerable variety. There were alleys lined +with pale plaster statues, and a grove dedicated to the master minds of +the world, represented by huge busts, with more or less appropriate +quotations. There were alcoves, too, and neatly ruined castles. + +Ada talked almost the whole time in a sprightly manner, which gave +Leander no opportunity of introducing the subject of his engagement, and +this continued until they had reached a small battlemented platform on +some rising ground; below were the black masses of trees, with a faint +fringe of light here and there; beyond lay the Thames, in which red and +white reflections quivered, and from whose distant bends and reaches +came the dull roar of fog-horns and the pantings of tugs. + +Ada stood here in silence for some time; at last she said, "After all, +I'm not sorry we came--are _you_?" + +"If I don't take care what I say, I _may_ be!" he thought, and answered +guardedly, "On the contrary, I'm glad, for it gives me the opportunity +of telling you something I--I think you ought to know." + +"What was he going to say next?" she thought. Was a declaration coming, +and if so, should she accept him? She was not sure; he had behaved very +badly in keeping so long away from her, and a proposal would be a very +suitable form of apology; but there was the gentleman who travelled for +a certain firm in the Edgware Road, he had been very "particular" in his +attentions of late. Well, she would see how she felt when Leander had +spoken; he was beginning to speak now. + +"I don't want to put it too abrupt," he said; "I'll come to it +gradually. There's a young lady that I'm now looking forward to spending +the whole of my future life with." + +"And what is she called?" asked Ada. ("He's rather a nice little man, +after all!" she was thinking.) + +"Matilda," he said; and the answer came like a blow in the face. For the +moment she hated him as bitterly as if he had been all the world to +her; but she carried off her mortification by a rather hysterical laugh. + +"Fancy you being engaged!" she said, by way of explanation of her +merriment; "and to any one with the name of Matilda--it's such a stupid +sounding sort of name!" + +"It ain't at all; it all depends how you say it. If you pronounce it +like I do, _Matilda_, it has rather a pretty sound. You try now." + +"Well, we won't quarrel about it, Mr. Tweddle; I'm glad it isn't my +name, that's all. And now tell me all about your young lady. What's her +other name, and is she very good-looking?" + +"She's a Miss Matilda Collum," said he; "she is considered handsome by +competent judges, and she keeps the books at a florist's in the vicinity +of Bayswater." + +"And, if it isn't a rude question, why didn't you bring her with you +this evening?" + +"Because she's away for a short holiday, and isn't coming back till the +last thing to-morrow night." + +"And I suppose you've been wishing I was Matilda all the time?" she said +audaciously; for Miss Ada Parkinson was not an over-scrupulous young +person, and did not recognize in the fact of her friend's engagement any +reason why she should not attempt to reclaim his vagrant admiration. + +Leander _had_ been guilty of this wish once or twice; but though he was +not absolutely overflowing with tact, he did refrain from admitting the +impeachment. + +"Well, you see," he said, in not very happy evasion, "Matilda doesn't +care about this kind of thing; she's rather particular, Matilda is." + +"And I'm not!" said Ada. "I see; thank you, Mr. Tweddle!" + +"You do take one up so!" he complained. "I never intended nothing of the +sort--far from it." + +"Well, then, I forgive you; we can't all be Matildas, I suppose. And +now, suppose we go back; they will be beginning to dance by now!" + +"With pleasure," he said; "only you must excuse me dancing, because, as +an engaged man, I have had to renounce (except with one person) the +charms of Terpsy-chore. I mean," he explained condescendingly, "that I +can't dance in public save with my intended." + +"Ah, well," said Ada, "perhaps Terpsy-chore will get over it; still I +should like to see the Terpsy-choring, if you have no objection." + +And they returned to the Baronial Hall, which by this time presented a +more cheerful appearance. The lamps round the mirror-lined pillars were +all lit, and the musicians were just striking up the opening bars of the +Lancers; upon which several gentlemen amongst the assembly, which now +numbered about forty, ran out into the open and took up positions, like +colour-sergeants at drill, to be presently joined, in some bashfulness, +by such ladies as desired partners. + +The Lancers were performed with extreme conscientiousness; and when it +was over, every gentleman with any _savoir faire_ to speak of presented +his partner with a glass of beer. + +Then came a waltz, to which Ada beat time impatiently with her foot, and +bit her lip, as she had to look on by Leander's side. + +"There's Bella and James going round," she said; "I've never had to sit +out a waltz before!" + +He felt the implied reproach, and thought whether there could be any +harm, after all, in taking a turn or two; it would be only polite. But, +before he could recant in words, a soldier came up, a medium-sized +warrior with a large nose and round little eyes, who had been very funny +during the Lancers in directing all the figures by words of military +command. + +"Will you allow me the honour, miss, of just one round?" he said to Ada, +respectfully enough. + +The etiquette of this ballroom was not of the strictest; but she would +not have consented but for the desire of showing Leander that she was +not dependent upon him for her amusement. As it was, she accepted the +corporal's arm a little defiantly. + +Leander watched them round the hall with an odd sensation, almost of +jealousy--it was quite ridiculous, because he could have danced with Ada +himself had he cared to do so; and besides, it was not she, but Matilda, +whom he adored. + +But, as he began to notice, Ada was looking remarkably pretty that +evening, and really was a partner who would bring any one credit; and +her corporal danced villainously, revolving with stiff and wooden jerks, +like a toy soldier. Now Leander flattered himself he could waltz--having +had considerable practice in bygone days in a select assembly, where the +tickets were two shillings each, and the gentlemen, as the notices said +ambiguously enough, "were restricted to wearing gloves." + +So he felt indignantly that Ada was not having justice done to her. +"I've a good mind to give her a turn," he thought, "and show them all +what waltzing is!" + +Just then the pair happened to come to a halt close to him. "Shockin' +time they're playing this waltz in," he heard the soldier exclaim with +humorous vivacity (he was apparently the funny man of the regiment, and +had brought a silent but appreciative comrade with him as audience), +"abominable! excruciatin'! comic!! 'orrible!!!" + +Leander seized the opportunity. "Excuse me," he said politely, "but if +you don't like the music, perhaps you wouldn't mind giving up this young +lady to me?" + +"Oh come, I say!" said the man of war, running his fingers through his +short curly hair; "my good feller, you'd better see what the lady says +to that!" (He evidently had no doubt himself.) + +"I'm very well content as I am, thank you all the same, Mr. Tweddle," +said Ada, unkindly adding in a lower tone, "If you're so anxious to +dance, dance with Terpsy-chore!" + +And again he was left to watch the whirling couples with melancholy +eyes. The corporal's brother-in-arms was wheeling round with a plain +young person, apparently in domestic service, whose face was overspread +by a large red smile of satiated ambition. James and Bella flitted by, +dancing vigorously, and Bella's discontent seemed to have vanished for +the time. There were jigging couples and prancing couples; couples that +bounced round like imprisoned bees, and couples that glided past in calm +and conscious superiority. He alone stood apart, excluded from the happy +throng, and he began to have a pathetic sense of injury. + +But the music stopped at last, and Ada, dismissing her partner, came +towards him. "You don't seem to be enjoying yourself, Mr. Tweddle," she +said maliciously. + +"Don't I?" he replied. "Well, so long as you are, it don't matter, Miss +Parkinson--it don't matter." + +"But I'm not--at least, I didn't that dance," she said. "That soldier +man did talk such rubbish, and he trod on my feet twice. I'm so hot! I +wonder if it's cooler outside?" + +"Will you come and see?" he suggested, and this time she did not disdain +his arm, and they strolled out together. + +Following a path they had hitherto left unexplored, they came to a +little enclosure surrounded by tall shrubs; in the centre, upon a low +pedestal, stood a female statue, upon which a gas lamp, some paces off, +cast a flickering gleam athwart the foliage. + +The exceptional grace and beauty of the figure would have been apparent +to any lover of art. She stood there, her right arm raised, partly in +gracious invitation, partly in queenly command, her left hand extended, +palm downwards, as if to be reverentially saluted. The hair was parted +in boldly indicated waves over the broad low brow, and confined by a +fillet in a large loose knot at the back. She was clad in a long chiton, +which lapped in soft zig-zag folds over the girdle and fell to the feet +in straight parallel lines, and a chlamys hanging from her shoulders +concealed the left arm to the elbow, while it left the right arm free. + +In the uncertain light one could easily fancy soft eyes swimming in +those wide blank sockets, and the ripe lips were curved by a dreamy +smile, at once tender and disdainful. + +Leander Tweddle and Miss Ada Parkinson, however, stood before the statue +in an unmoved, not to say critical, mood. + +"Who's she supposed to be, I wonder?" asked the young lady, rather as if +the sculptor were a harmless lunatic whose delusions took a marble shape +occasionally. This, by the way, is a question which may frequently be +heard in picture galleries, and implies an enlightened tolerance. + +"I don't know," said Leander; "a foreign female, I fancy--that's +Russian on the pedestal." He inferred this from a resemblance to the +characters on certain packets of cigarettes. + +"But there's some English underneath," said Ada; "I can just make it +out. Ap--Apro--Aprodyte. What a funny name!" + +"You haven't prenounced it quite correckly," he said; "out there they +sound the ph like a f, and give all the syllables--Afroddity." He felt a +kind of intuition that this was nearer the correct rendering. + +"Well," observed Ada, "she's got a silly look, don't you think?" + +Leander was less narrow, and gave it as his opinion that she had been +"done from a fine woman." + +Ada remarked that she herself would never consent to be taken in so +unbecoming a costume. "One might as well have no figure at all in things +hanging down for all the world like a sack," she said. + +Proceeding to details, she was struck by the smallness of the hands; and +it must be admitted that, although the statue as a whole was slightly +above the average female height, the arms from the elbow downwards, and +particularly the hands, were by no means in proportion, and almost +justified Miss Parkinson's objection, that "no woman could have hands so +small as that." + +"I know some one who has--quite as small," said he softly. + +Ada instantly drew off one of the crimson gloves and held out her hand +beside the statue's. It was a well-shaped hand, as she very well knew, +but it was decidedly larger than the one with which she compared it. "I +_said_ so," she observed; "now are you satisfied, Mr. Tweddle?" + +But he had been thinking of a hand more slender and dainty than hers, +and allowed himself to admit as much. "I--I wasn't meaning you at all," +he said bluntly. + +She laughed a little jarring laugh. "Oh, Matilda, of course! Nobody is +like Matilda now! But come, Mr. Tweddle, you're not going to stand there +and tell me that this wonderful Matilda of yours has hands no bigger +than those?" + +"She has been endowed with quite remarkable small hands," said he; "you +wouldn't believe it without seeing. It so happens," he added suddenly, +"that I can give you a very fair ideer of the size they are, for I've +got a ring of hers in my pocket at this moment. It came about this way: +my aunt (the same that used to let her second floor to James, and that +Matilda lodges with at present), my aunt, as soon as she heard of our +being engaged, nothing would do but I must give Matilda an old ring with +a posy inside it, that was in our family, and we soon found the ring was +too large to keep on, and I left it with old Vidler, near my place of +business, to be made tighter, and called for it on my way here this very +afternoon, and fortunately enough it was ready." + +He took out the ring from its bed of pink cotton wool, and offered it to +Miss Parkinson. + +"You see if you can get it on," he said; "try the little finger!" + +She drew back, offended. "_I_ don't want to try it, thank you," she said +(she felt as if she might fling it into the bushes if she allowed +herself to touch it). "If you _must_ try it on somebody, there's the +statue! You'll find no difficulty in getting it on any of her +fingers--or thumbs," she added. + +"You shall see," said Leander. "My belief is, it's too small for her, if +anything." + +He was a true lover; anxious to vindicate his lady's perfections before +all the world, and perhaps to convince himself that his estimate was not +exaggerated. The proof was so easy, the statue's left hand hung +temptingly within his reach; he accepted the challenge, and slipped the +ring up the third finger, that was slightly raised as if to receive it. +The hand struck no chill, so moist and mild was the evening, but felt +warm and almost soft in his grasp. + +"There," he said triumphantly, "it might have been made for her!" + +[Illustration: "THERE," HE SAID TRIUMPHANTLY, "IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN MADE +FOR HER!"] + +"Well," said Ada, not too consistently, "I never said it mightn't!" + +"Excuse me," said he, "but you said it would be too large for her; and, +if you'll believe me, it's as much as I can do to get it off her finger, +it fits that close." + +"Well, make haste and get it off, Mr. Tweddle, do," said Ada, +impatiently. "I've stayed out quite long enough." + +"In one moment," he replied; "it's quite a job, I declare, quite a job!" + +"Oh, you men are so clumsy!" cried Ada. "Let _me_ try." + +"No, no!" he said, rather irritably; "I can manage it," and he continued +to fumble. + +At last he looked over his shoulder and said, "It's a singler +succumstance, but I can't get the ring past the bend of the finger." + +Ada was cruel enough to burst out laughing. "It's a judgment upon you, +Mr. Tweddle!" she cried. + +"You dared me to it!" he retorted. "It isn't friendly of you, I must +say, Miss Parkinson, to set there enjoying of it--it's bad taste!" + +"Well, then, I'm very sorry, Mr. Tweddle; I won't laugh any more; but, +for goodness' sake, take me back to the Hall now." + +"It's coming!" he said; "I'm working it over the joint now--it's coming +quite easily." + +"But I can't wait here while it comes," she said. "Do you want me to go +back alone? You're not very polite to me this evening, I must say." + +"What am I to do?" he said distractedly. "This ring is my engagement +ring; it's valuable. I can't go away without it!" + +"The statue won't run away--you can come back again, by-and-by. You +don't expect me to spend the rest of the evening out here? I never +thought you could be rude to a lady, Mr. Tweddle." + +"No more I can," he said. "Your wishes, Miss Ada, are equivocal to +commands; allow me the honour of reconducting you to the Baronial Hall." + +He offered his arm in his best manner; she took it, and together they +passed out of the enclosure, leaving the statue in undisturbed +possession of the ring. + + + + +PLEASURE IN PURSUIT + +II. + + "And you, great sculptor, so you gave + A score of years to Art, her slave, + And that's your Venus, whence we turn + To yonder girl----" + + +Another waltz had just begun as they re-entered the Baronial Hall, and +Ada glanced up at her companion from her daring brown eyes. "What would +you say if I told you you might have this dance with me?" she inquired. + +The hairdresser hesitated for just one moment. He had meant to leave her +there and go back for his ring; but the waltz they were playing was a +very enticing one. Ada was looking uncommonly pretty just then; he could +get the ring equally well a few minutes later. + +"I should take it very kind of you," he said, gratefully, at length. + +"Ask for it, then," said Ada; and he did ask for it. + +He forgot Matilda and his engagement for the moment; he sacrificed all +his scruples about dancing in public; but he somehow failed to enjoy +this pleasure, illicit though it was. + +For one thing, he could not long keep Matilda out of his thoughts. He +was doing nothing positively wrong; still, it was undeniable that she +would not approve of his being there at all, still less if she knew +that the gold ring given to him by his aunt for the purposes of his +betrothal had been left on the finger of a foreign statue, and exposed +to the mercy of any passer-by, while he waltzed with a bonnet-maker's +assistant. + +And his conscience was awakened still further by the discovery that Ada +was a somewhat disappointing partner. "She's not so light as she used to +be," he thought, "and then she jumps. I'd forgotten she jumped." + +Before the waltz was nearly over he led her back to a chair, alleging as +his excuse that he was afraid to abandon his ring any longer, and +hastened away to the spot where it was to be found. + +He went along the same path, and soon came to an enclosure; but no +sooner had he entered it than he saw that he must have mistaken his way; +this was not the right place. There was no statue in the middle. + +He was about to turn away, when he saw something that made him start; it +was a low pedestal in the centre, with the same characters upon it that +he had read with Ada. It was the place, after all; yes, he could not be +mistaken; he knew it now. + +Where was the statue which had so lately occupied that pedestal? Had it +fallen over amongst the bushes? He felt about for it in vain. It must +have been removed for some purpose while he had been dancing; but by +whom, and why? + +The best way to find out would be to ask some one in authority. The +manager was in the Baronial Hall, officiating as M.C.; he would go and +inquire whether the removal had been by his orders. + +He was fortunate enough to catch him as he was coming out of the hall, +and he seized him by the arm with nervous haste. "Mister," he began, +"if you've found one of your plaster figures with a gold ring on, it's +mine. I--I put it on in a joking kind of way, and I had to leave it for +awhile; and now, when I come back for it, it's gone!" + +"I'm sorry to hear it, sir," returned the manager; "but really, if you +will leave gold rings on our statues, we can't be responsible, you +know." + +"But you'll excuse me," pursued Leander; "I don't think you quite +understood me. It isn't only the ring that's gone--it's the statue; and +if you've had it put up anywhere else----" + +"Nonsense!" said the manager; "we don't move our statues about like +chessmen; you've forgotten where you left it, that's all. What was the +statue like?" + +Leander described it as well as he could, and the manager, with a +somewhat altered manner, made him point out the spot where he believed +it to have stood, and they entered the grove together. + +The man gave one rapid glance at the vacant pedestal, and then gripped +Leander by the shoulder, and looked at him long and hard by the feeble +light. "Answer me," he said, roughly; "is this some lark of yours?" + +[Illustration: "ANSWER ME," HE SAID ROUGHLY; "IS THIS SOME LARK OF +YOURS?"] + +"I look larky, don't I?" said poor Tweedle, dolefully. "I thought you'd +be sure to know where it was." + +"I wish to heaven I did!" cried the manager, passionately; "it's those +impudent blackguards.... They've done it under my very nose!" + +"If it's any of your men," suggested Leander, "can't you make them put +it back again?" + +"It's not any of my men. I was warned, and, like a fool, I wouldn't +believe it could be done at a time like this; and now it's too late, and +what am I to say to the inspector? I wouldn't have had this happen for +a thousand pounds!" + +"Well, it's kind of you to feel so put out about it," said Leander. "You +see, what makes the ring so valuable to me----" + +The manager was pacing up and down impatiently, entirely ignoring his +presence. + +"I say," Tweddle repeated, "the reason why that ring's of partickler +importance----" + +"Oh, don't bother _me_!" said the other, shaking him off. "I don't want +to be uncivil, but I've got to think this out.... Infernal rascals!" he +went on muttering. + +"Have the goodness to hear what I've got to say, though," persisted +Leander. "I'm mixed up in this, whether you like it or not. You seem to +know who's got this figure, and I've a right to be told too. I won't go +till I get that ring back; so now you understand me!" + +"Confound you and your ring!" said the manager. "What's the good of +coming bully-ragging me about your ring? _I_ can't get you your ring! +You shouldn't have been fool enough to put it on one of our statues. You +make me talk to you like this, coming bothering when I've enough on my +mind as it is! Hang it! Can't you see I'm as anxious to get that statue +again as ever you can be? If I don't get it, I may be a ruined man, for +all I know; ain't that enough for you? Look here, take my advice, and +leave me alone before we have words over this. You give me your name and +address, and you may rely on hearing from me as soon as anything turns +up. You can do no good to yourself or any one else by making a row; so +go away quiet like a sensible chap!" + +Leander felt stunned by the blow; evidently there was nothing to be done +but follow the manager's advice. He went to the office with him, and +gave his name and address in full, and then turned back alone to the +dancing-hall. + +He had lost his ring--no ordinary trinket which he could purchase +anywhere, but one for which he would have to account--and to whom? To +his aunt and Matilda. How could he tell, when there was even a chance of +seeing it again? + +If only he had not allowed himself that waltz; if only he had insisted +upon remaining by the statue until his ring was removed; if only he had +not been such an idiot as to put it on! None of these acts were wrong +exactly; but between them they had brought him to this. + +And the chief person responsible was Miss Ada Parkinson, whom he dared +not reproach; for he was naturally unwilling that this last stage of the +affair should become known. He would have to dissemble, and he rejoined +his party with what he intended for a jaunty air. + +"We've been waiting for you to go away," said Bella. "Where have you +been all this time?" + +He saw with relief that Ada did not appear to have mentioned the statue, +and so he said he had been "strolling about." + +"And Ada left to take care of herself!" said Bella, spitefully. "You are +polite, Mr. Tweddle, I must say!" + +"I haven't complained, Bella, that I know of," said Ada. "And Mr. +Tweddle and I quite understand each other, don't we?" + +"Oh!" said Bella, with an altered manner and a side-glance at James, "I +didn't know. I'm very glad to hear it, I'm sure." + +And then they left the gardens, and, after a substantial meal at a +riverside hotel, started on the homeward journey, with the sense that +their expedition had not been precisely a success. + +As before, they had a railway compartment to themselves. Bella declined +to talk, and lay back in her corner with closed eyes and an expression +of undeserved suffering, whilst the unfortunate Jauncy sat silent and +miserable opposite. + +Leander would have liked to be silent too, and think out his position; +but Ada would not hear of this. Her jealous resentment had apparently +vanished, and she was extremely lively and playful in her sallies. + +This reached a pitch when she bent forward, and, in a whisper, which she +did not, perhaps, intend to be quite confidential, said, "Oh, Mr. +Tweddle, you never told me what became of the ring! Is it off at last?" + +"Off? yes!" he said irritably, very nearly adding, "and the statue too." + +"Weren't you very glad!" said she. + +"Uncommonly," he replied grimly. + +"Let me see it again, now you've got it back," she pleaded. + +"You'll excuse me," he said; "but after what has taken place, I can't +show that ring to anybody." + +"Then you're a cross thing!" said Ada, pouting. + +"What's the matter with you two, over there?" asked Bella, sleepily. + +Ada's eyes sparkled with mischief. "Let me tell them; it is too awfully +funny. I _must_!" she whispered to Leander. "It's all about a ring," she +began, and enjoyed poor Tweddle's evident discomfort. + +"A ring?" cried Bella, waking up. "Don't keep all the fun to yourselves; +we've not had so much of it this evening." + +"Miss Ada," said Leander, in great agitation, "I ask you, as a lady, to +treat what has happened this evening in the strictest confidence for the +present!" + +"Secrets, Ada?" cried her sister; "upon my word!" + +"Why, where's the harm, Mr. Tweddle, now it's all settled?" exclaimed +Ada. "Bella, it was only this: he went and put a ring (now do wait till +I've done, Mr. Tweddle!) on a certain person's finger out in those +Rosherwich Gardens (you see, I've not said _whose_ finger)." + +"Hullo, Tweddle!" cried Jauncy, in some bewilderment. + +Leander could only cast a look of miserable appeal at him. + +"Shall I tell them any more, Mr. Tweddle?" said Ada, persistently. + +"I don't think there's any necessity," he pleaded. + +"No more do I," put in Bella, archly. "I think we can guess the rest." + +Ada did not absolutely make any further disclosures that evening; but +for the rest of the journey she amused herself by keeping the +hairdresser in perpetual torment by her pretended revelations, until he +was thoroughly disgusted. + +No longer could he admire her liveliness; he could not even see that she +was good-looking now. "She's nothing but chaff, chaff, chaff!" he +thought. "Thank goodness, Matilda isn't given that way. Chaff before +marriage means nagging after!" + +They reached the terminus at last, when he willingly said farewell to +the other three. + +"Good-bye, Mr. Tweddle," said Bella, in rather a more cordial tone; "I +needn't hope _you_'ve enjoyed yourself!" + +"You needn't!" he replied, almost savagely. + +"Good night," said Ada; and added in a whisper, "Don't go and dream of +your statue-woman!" + +"If I dream to-night at all," he said, between his teeth, "it will be a +nightmare!" + +"I suppose, Tweddle, old chap," said Jauncy, as he shook hands, "you +know your own affairs best; but, if you meant what you told me coming +down, you've been going it, haven't you?" + +He left Leander wondering impatiently what he meant. Did he know the +truth? Well, everybody might know it before long; there would probably +be a fuss about it all, and the best thing he could do would be to tell +Matilda at once, and throw himself upon her mercy. After all, it was +innocent enough--if she could only be brought to believe it. + +He did not look forward to telling her; and by the time he reached the +Bank and got into an omnibus, he was in a highly nervous state, as the +following incident may serve to show. + +He had taken one of those uncomfortable private omnibuses, where the +passengers are left in unlightened gloom. He sat by the door, and, +occupied as he was by his own misfortunes, paid little attention to his +surroundings. + +But by-and-by, he became aware that the conductor, in collecting the +fares, was trying to attract the notice of some one who sat in the +further corner of the vehicle. "Where are you for, lady, please?" he +asked repeatedly, and at last, "_Will_ somebody ask the lady up the end +where I'm to set her down?" to all of which the eccentric person +addressed returned no reply whatever. + +Leander's attention was thus directed to her; but, although in the +obscurity he could make out nothing but a dim form of grey, his nerves +were so unsettled that he felt a curiously uneasy fancy that eyes were +being fixed upon him in the darkness. + +This continued until a moment when some electric lights suddenly flashed +into the omnibus as it passed, and lit up the whole interior with a +ghastly glare, in which the grey female became distinctly visible. + +He caught his breath and shrank into the corner; for in that moment his +excited imagination had traced a strange resemblance to the figure he +had left in Rosherwich Gardens. The inherent improbability of finding a +classical statue seated in an omnibus did not occur to him, in the state +his mind was in just then. He sat there fascinated, until lights shone +in once more, and he saw, or thought he saw, the figure slowly raise her +hand and beckon to him. + +That was enough; he started up with a smothered cry, thrust a coin into +the conductor's hand, and, without waiting for change, flung himself +from the omnibus in full motion. + +When its varnished sides had ceased to gleam in the light of the lamps, +and its lumbering form had been swallowed up in the autumn haze, he +began to feel what a coward his imagination had made of him. + +"My nightmare's begun already," he thought. "Still, she was so +surprisingly like, it did give me a turn. They oughtn't to let such +crazy females into public conveyances!" + +Fortunately his panic had not seized him until he was within a short +distance from Bloomsbury, and it did not take him long to reach Queen +Square and his shop in the passage. He let himself in, and went up to a +little room on an upper floor, which he used as his sitting-room. The +person who "looked after him" did not sleep on the premises; but she +had laid a fire and left out his tea-things. "I'll have some tea," he +thought, as he lit the gas and saw them there. "I feel as if I want +cheering up, and it can't make me any more shaky than I am." + +And when his fire was crackling and blazing up, and his kettle beginning +to sing, he felt more cheerful already. What, after all, if it did take +some time to get his ring again? He must make some excuse or other; and, +should the worst come to the worst, "I suppose," he thought, "I could +get another made like it--though, when I come to think of it, I'll be +shot if I remember exactly what it was like, or what the words inside it +were, to be sure about them; still, very likely old Vidler would +recollect, and I dessay it won't turn out to be necessa----What the +devil's that?" + +He had the house to himself after nightfall, and he remembered that his +private door could not be opened now without a special key; yet he could +not help a fancy that some one was groping his way up the staircase +outside. + +"It's only the boards creaking, or the pipes leaking through," he +thought. "I must have the place done up. But I'm as nervous as a cat +to-night." + +The steps were nearer and nearer--they stopped at the door--there was a +loud commanding blow on the panels. + +"Who's here at this time of night?" cried Leander, aloud. "Come in, if +you want to!" + +But the door remained shut, and there came another rap, even more +imperious. + +"I shall go mad if this goes on!" he muttered, and making a desperate +rush to the door, threw it wide open, and then staggered back +panic-stricken. + +Upon the threshold stood a tall figure in classical drapery. His eyes +might have deceived him in the omnibus; but here, in the crude gaslight, +he could not be mistaken. It was the statue he had last seen in +Rosherwich Gardens--now, in some strange and wondrous way, +moving--alive! + + + + +A DISTINGUISHED STRANGER + +III. + + "How could it be a dream? Yet there + She stood, the moveless image fair!" + + _The Earthly Paradise._ + + +With slow and stately tread the statue advanced towards the centre of +the hairdresser's humble sitting-room, and stood there awhile, gazing +about her with something of scornful wonder in her calm cold face. As +she turned her head, the wide, deeply-cut sockets seemed the home of +shadowy eyes; her face, her bared arms, and the long straight folds of +her robe were all of the same greyish-yellow hue; the boards creaked +under her sandalled feet, and Leander felt that he had never heard of a +more appallingly massive ghost--if ghost indeed she were. + +He had retired step by step before her to the hearthrug, where he now +stood shivering, with the fire hot at his back, and his kettle still +singing on undismayed. He made no attempt to account for her presence +there on any rationalistic theory. A statue had suddenly come to life, +and chosen to pay him a nocturnal visit; he knew no more than that, +except that he would have given worlds for courage to show it the door. + +The spectral eyes were bent upon him, as if in expectation that he +would begin the conversation, and, at last, with a very unmanageable +tongue, he managed to observe-- + +"Did you want to see me on--on business, mum?" + +[Illustration: "DID YOU WANT TO SEE ME ON--ON BUSINESS, MUM?"] + + +But the statue only relaxed her lips in a haughty smile. + +"For goodness' sake, say something!" he cried wildly; "unless you want +me to jump out of the winder! What is it you've come about?" + +It seemed to him that in some way a veil had lifted from the stone face, +leaving it illumined by a strange light, and from the lips came a voice +which addressed him in solemn far-away tones, as of one talking in +sleep. He could not have said with certainty that the language was his +own, though somehow he understood her perfectly. + +"You know me not?" she said, with a kind of sad indifference. + +"Well," Leander admitted, as politely as his terror would allow, "you +certingly have the advantage of me for the moment, mum." + +"I am Aphrodite the foam-born, the matchless seed of AEgis-bearing Zeus. +Many names have I amongst the sons of men, and many temples, and I sway +the hearts of all lovers; and gods--yea, and mortals--have burned for +me, a goddess, with an unconsuming, unquenchable fire!" + +"Lor!" said Leander. If he had not been so much flurried, he might have +found a remark worthier of the occasion, but the announcement that she +was a goddess took his breath away. He had quite believed that goddesses +were long since "gone out." + +"You know wherefore I am come hither?" she said. + +"Not at this minute, I don't," he replied. "You'll excuse me, but you +can't be the statue out of those gardens? You reelly are so surprisingly +like, that I couldn't help asking you." + +"I am Aphrodite, and no statue. Long--how long I know not--have I lain +entranced in slumber in my sea-girt isle of Cyprus, and now again has +the living touch of a mortal hand upon one of my sacred images called me +from my rest, and given me power to animate this marble shell. Some hand +has placed this ring upon my finger. Tell me, was it yours?" + +Leander was almost reassured; after all, he could forgive her for +terrifying him so much, since she had come on so good-natured an errand. + +"Quite correct, mum--miss!" (he wished he knew the proper form for +addressing a goddess) "that ring is my property. I'm sure it's very +civil and friendly of you to come all this way about it," and he held +out his hand for it eagerly. + +"And think you it was for this that I have visited the face of the earth +and the haunts of men, and followed your footsteps hither by roads +strange and unknown to me? You are too modest, youth." + +"I don't know what there is modest in expecting you to behave honest!" +he said, rather wondering at his own audacity. + +"How are you called?" she inquired suddenly on this; and after hearing +the answer, remarked that the name was known to her as that of a goodly +and noble youth who had perished for the sake of Hero. + +"The gentleman may have been a connection of mine, for all I know," he +said; "the Tweddles have always kep' themselves respectable. But I'm not +a hero myself, I'm a hairdresser." + +She repeated the word thoughtfully, though she did not seem to quite +comprehend it; and indeed it is likely enough that, however intelligible +she was to Leander, the understanding was far from being entirely +reciprocal. + +She extended her hand to him, smiling not ungraciously. "Leander," she +said, "cease to tremble, for a great happiness is yours. Bold have you +been; yet am I not angered, for I come. Cast, then, away all fear, and +know that Aphrodite disdains not to accept a mortal's plighted troth!" + +Leander entrenched himself promptly behind the armchair. "I don't know +what you're talking about!" he said. "How can I help fearing, with you +coming down on me like this? Ask yourself." + +"Can you not understand that your prayer is heard?" she demanded. + +"_What_ prayer?" cried Leander. + +"Crass and gross-witted has the world grown!" said she; "a Greek swain +would have needed but few words to divine his bliss. Know, then, that +your suit is accepted; never yet has Aphrodite turned the humblest from +her shrine. By this symbol," and she lightly touched the ring, "you have +given yourself to me. I accept the offering--you are mine!" + +Leander was stupefied by such an unlooked-for misconception. He could +scarcely believe his ears; but he hastened to set himself right at once. + +"If you mean that you were under the impression that I meant anything in +particular by putting that ring on, it was all a mistake, mum," he said. +"I shouldn't have presumed to it!" + +"Were you the lowliest of men, I care not," she replied; "to you I owe +the power I now enjoy of life and vision, nor shall you find me +ungrateful. But forbear this false humility; I like it not. Come, then, +Leander, at the bidding of Cypris; come, and fear nothing!" + +But he feared very much, for he had seen the operas of _Don Giovanni_ +and _Zampa_, and knew that any familiarity with statuary was likely to +have unpleasant consequences. He merely strengthened his defences with a +chair. + +"You must excuse me, mum, you must indeed," he faltered; "I can't come!" + +"Why?" she asked. + +"Because I've other engagements," he replied. + +"I remember," she said slowly, "in the grove, when light met my eyes +once more, there was a maid with you, one who laughed and was merry. +Answer--is she your love?" + +"No, she isn't," he said shortly. "What if she was?" + +"If she were," observed the goddess, with the air of one who mentioned +an ordinary fact, "I should crush her!" + +"Lord bless me!" cried Leander, in his horror. "What for?" + +"Would not she be in my path? and shall any mortal maid stand between me +and my desire?" + +This was a discovery. She was a jealous and vengeful goddess; she would +require to be sedulously humoured, or harm would come. + +"Well, well," he said soothingly, "there's nothing of that sort about +her, I do assure you." + +"Then I spare her," said the goddess. "But how, then, if this be truly +so, do you still shrink from the honour before you?" + +Leander felt a natural unwillingness to explain that it was because he +was engaged to a young lady who kept the accounts at a florist's. + +"Well, the fact is," he said awkwardly, "there's difficulties in the +way." + +"Difficulties? I can remove them all!" she said. + +"Not _these_ you can't, mum. It's like this: You and me, we don't start, +so to speak, from the same basin. I don't mean it as any reproach to +you, but you can't deny you're an Eathen, and, worse than that, an +Eathen goddess. Now all my family have been brought up as chapel folk, +Primitive Methodists, and I've been trained to have a horror of +superstition and idolatries, and see the folly of it. So you can see for +yourself that we shouldn't be likely to get on together!" + +"You talk words," she said impatiently; "but empty are they, and +meaningless to my ears. One thing I learn from them--that you seek to +escape me!" + +"That's putting it too harsh, mum," he protested. "I'm sure I feel the +honour of such a call; and, by the way, do you mind telling me how you +got my address--how you found me out, I mean?" + +"No one remains long hid from the searching eye of the high gods," she +replied. + +"So I should be inclined to say," agreed Leander. "But only tell me +this, wasn't it you in the omnibus? We call our public conveyances +omnibuses, as perhaps you mayn't know." + +"I, sea-born Aphrodite, _I_ in a public conveyance, an omnibus? There is +an impiety in such a question!" + +"Well, I only thought it might have been," he stammered, rather relieved +upon the whole that it was not the goddess who had seen his precipitate +bolt from the vehicle. Who the female in the corner really was, he never +knew; though a man of science might account for the resemblance she bore +to the statue by ascribing it to one of those preparatory impressions +projected occasionally by a strong personality upon a weak one. But +Leander was content to leave the matter unexplained. + +"Let it suffice you," she said, "that I am here; and once more, Leander, +are you prepared to fulfil the troth you have plighted?" + +"I--I can't say I am," he said. "Not that I don't feel thankful for +having had the refusal of so very 'igh-class an opportunity; but, as I'm +situated at present--what with the state of trade, and unbelief so +rampant, and all--I'm obliged to decline with respectful thanks." + +He trusted that after this she would see the propriety of going. + +"Have a care!" she said; "you are young and not uncomely, and my heart +pities you. Do nothing rash. Pause, ere you rouse the implacable ire of +Aphrodite!" + +"Thank you," said Leander; "if you'll allow me, I will. I don't want any +ill-feeling, I'm sure. It's my wish to live peaceable with all men." + +"I leave you, then. Use the time before you till I come again in +thinking well whether he acts wisely who spurns the proffered hand of +Idalian Aphrodite. For the present, farewell, Leander!" + +He was overjoyed at his coming deliverance. "Good evening, mum," he +said, as he ran to the door and held it open. "If you'll allow me, I'll +light you down the staircase--it's rather dark, I'm afraid." + +"_Fool!_,'" she said with scorn, and without stirring from her place; +and, as she spoke the word, the veil seemed to descend over her face +again, the light faded out, and, with a slight shudder, the figure +imperceptibly resumed its normal attitude, the drapery stiffened once +more into chiselled folds, and the statue was soulless as are statues +generally. + + + + +FROM BAD TO WORSE + +IV. + + "And the shadow flits and fleets, + And will not let me be, + And I loathe the squares and streets!" + + _Maud._ + + +For some time after the statue had ceased to give signs of life, the +hairdresser remained gaping, incapable of thought or action. At last he +ventured to approach cautiously, and on touching the figure, found it +perfectly cold and hard. The animating principle had plainly departed, +and left the statue a stone. + +"She's gone," he said, "and left her statue behind her! Well, of all the +_goes_----She's come out without her pedestal, too! To be sure, it would +have been in her way, walking." + +Seating himself in his shabby old armchair, he tried to collect his +scattered wits. He scarcely realised, even yet, what had happened; but, +unless he had dreamed it all, he had been honoured by the marked +attentions of a marble statue, instigated by a heathen goddess, who +insisted that his affections were pledged to her. + +Perhaps there was a spice of flattery in such a situation--for it cannot +fall to the lot of many hairdressers to be thus distinguished--but +Leander was far too much alarmed to appreciate it. There had been +suggestions of menace in the statue's remarks which made him shudder +when he recalled them, and he started violently once or twice when some +wavering of the light gave a play of life to the marble mask. "She's +coming back!" he thought. "Oh, I do wish she wouldn't!" But Aphrodite +continued immovable, and at last he concluded that, as he put it, she +"had done for the evening." + +His first reflection was--what had best be done? The wisest course +seemed to be to send for the manager of the gardens, and restore the +statue while its animation was suspended. The people at the gardens +would take care that it did not get loose again. + +But there was the ring; he must get that off first. Here was an +unhoped-for opportunity of accomplishing this in privacy, and at his +leisure. Again approaching the figure, he tried to draw off the +compromising circle; but it seemed tighter than ever, and he drew out a +pair of scissors and, after a little hesitation, respectfully inserted +it under the hoop and set to work to prize it off, with the result of +snapping both the points, and leaving the ring entirely unaffected. He +glanced at the face; it wore the same dreamy smile, with a touch of +gentle contempt in it. "She don't seem to mind," he said aloud; "to be +sure, she ain't inside of it now, as far as I make it out. I've got all +night before me to get the confounded thing off, and I'll go on till +I've done it!" + +But he laboured on with the disabled scissors, and only succeeded in +scratching the smooth marble a little; he stopped to pant. "There's only one +way," he told himself desperately; "a little diamond cement would make +it all right again; and you expect cracks in a statue." + +Then, after a furtive glance around, he fetched the poker from the +fireplace. He felt horribly brutal, as if he were going to mutilate and +maltreat a creature that could feel; but he nerved himself to tap the +back of Aphrodite's hand at the dimpled base of the third finger. The +shock ran up to his elbow, and gave him acute "pins and needles," but +the stone hand was still intact. He struck again--this time with all his +force--and the poker flew from his grasp, and his arm dropped paralyzed +by his side. + +He could scarcely lift it again for some minutes, and the warning made +him refrain from any further violence. "It's no good," he groaned. "If I +go on, I don't know what may happen to me. I must wait till she comes +to, and then ask her for the ring, very polite and civil, and try if I +can't get round her that way." + +He was determined that he would never give her up to the gardens while +she wore his ring; but, in the mean time, he could scarcely leave the +statue standing in the middle of his sitting-room, where it would most +assuredly attract the charwoman's attention. + +He had little cupboards on each side of his fireplace: one of these had +no shelves, and served for storing firewood and bottles of various +kinds. From this he removed the contents, and lifting the statue, which, +possibly because its substance had been affected in some subtle and +inexplicable manner by the vital principle that had so lately permeated +it, proved less ponderous than might have been reasonably expected, he +pushed it well into the recess, and turned the key on it. + +Then he went trembling to bed, and, after an interval of muddled, +anxious thinking, fell into a heavy sleep, which lasted until far into +the morning. + +He woke with the recollection that something unpleasant was hanging over +him, and by degrees he remembered what that something was; but it looked +so extravagant in the morning light that he had great hopes all would +turn out to be a mere dream. + +It was a mild Sunday morning, and there were church bells ringing all +around him; it seemed impossible that he could really be harbouring an +animated antique. But to remove all doubt, he stole down, half dressed, +to his small sitting-room, which he found looking as usual--the fire +burning dull and dusty in the sunlight that struck in through the open +window, and his breakfast laid out on the table. + +Almost reassured, he went to the cupboard and unlocked the door. Alas! +it held its skeleton--the statue was there, preserving the attitude of +queenly command in which he had seen it first. Sharply he shut the door +again, and turned the key with a heavy heart. + +He swallowed his breakfast with very little appetite, after which he +felt he could not remain in the house. "To sit here with _that_ in the +cupboard is more than I'm equal to all Sunday," he decided. + +If Matilda had been at his aunt's, with whom she lodged, he would have +gone to chapel with her; but Matilda did not return from her holiday +till late that night. He thought of going to his friend and asking his +advice on his case. James, as a barrister's clerk, would presumably be +able to give a sound legal opinion on an emergency. + +James, however, lived "out Camden Town way," and was certain on so fine +a morning to be away on some Sunday expedition with his betrothed: it +was hopeless to go in search of him now. If he went to see his aunt, who +lived close by in Millman Street, she might ask him about the ring, and +there would be a fuss. He was in no humour for attending any place of +public worship, and so he spent some hours in aimless wandering about +the streets, which, as foreigners are fond of reminding us, are not +exhilarating even on the brightest Sabbath, and did not raise his +spirits then. + +At last hunger drove him back to the passage in Southampton Row, the +more quickly as it began to occur to him that the statue might possibly +have revived, and be creating a disturbance in the cupboard. + +He had passed the narrow posts, and was just taking out his latchkey, +when some one behind touched his shoulder and made him give a guilty +jump. He dreaded to find the goddess at his elbow; however, to his +relief, he found a male stranger, plainly and respectably dressed. + +"You Mr. Tweddle the hairdresser?" the stranger inquired. + +Leander felt a wild impulse to deny it, and declare that he was his own +friend, and had come to see himself on business, for he was in no social +mood just then; but he ended by admitting that he supposed he was Mr. +Tweddle. + +"So did I. Well, I want a little private talk with you, Mr. Tweddle. +I've been hanging about for some time; but though I knocked and rang, I +couldn't make a soul hear." + +"There isn't a soul inside," protested Tweddle, with unnecessary warmth; +"not a solitary soul! You wanted to talk with me. Suppose we take a turn +round the square?" + +"No, no. I won't keep you out; I'll come in with you!" + +Inwardly wondering what his visitor wanted, Leander led him in and lit +the gas in his hair-cutting saloon. "We shall be cosier here," he said; +for he dared not take the stranger up in the room where the statue was +concealed, for fear of accidents. + +The man sat down in the operating-chair and crossed his legs. "I dare +say you're wondering what I've come about like this on a Sunday +afternoon?" he began. + +"Not at all," said Leander. "Anything I can have the pleasure of doing +for you----" + +"It's only to answer a few questions. I understand you lost a ring at +the Rosherwich Gardens yesterday evening: that's so, isn't it?" + +He was a military looking person, as Leander now perceived, and he had a +close-trimmed iron-grey beard, a high colour, quick eyes, and a stiff +hard-lipped mouth--not at all the kind of man to trifle with. And yet +Leander felt no inclination to tell him his story; the stranger might be +a reporter, and his adventure would "get into the papers"--perhaps reach +Matilda's eyes. + +"I--I dropped a ring last night, certainly," he said; "it may have been +in the gardens, for what I know." + +"Now, now," said the stranger, "don't you _know_ it was in the gardens? +Tell me all about it." + +"Begging your pardon," said Leander, "I should like to know first what +call you have to _be_ told." + +"You're quite right--perfectly right. I always deal straightforwardly +when I can. I'll tell you who I am. I'm Inspector Bilbow, of the +Criminal Investigation Department, Scotland Yard. Now, perhaps, you'll +see I'm not a man to be kept in the dark. And I want you to tell me when +and where you last saw that ring of yours: it's to your own interest, if +you want to see it again." + +But Leander _had_ seen it again, and it seemed certain that all Scotland +Yard could not assist him in getting it back; he must manage it +single-handed. + +"It's very kind of you, Mr. Inspector, to try and find it for me," he +said; "but the fact is, it--it ain't so valuable as I fancied. I can't +afford to have it traced--it's not worth it!" + +The inspector laughed. "I never said it was, that I know. The job I'm in +charge of is a bigger concern than your trumpery ring, my friend." + +"Then I don't see what I've got to do with it," said Leander. + +The officer had taken his measure by this time; he must admit his man +into a show of confidence, and appeal to his vanity, if he was to obtain +any information he could rely upon. + +"You're a shrewd chap, I see; 'nothing for nothing' is your motto, eh? +Well, if you help me in this, and put me on the track I want, it'll be a +fine thing for you. You'll be a principal witness at the police-court; +name in the papers; regular advertisement for you!" + +This prospect, had he known it--but even inspectors cannot know +everything--was the last which could appeal to Leander in his peculiar +position. "I don't care for notoriety," he said loftily; "I scorn it." + +"Oho!" said the inspector, shifting his ground. "Well, you don't want to +impede the course of justice, do you?--because that's what you seem to +me to be after, and you won't find it pay in the long run. I'll get this +out of you in a friendly way if I can; if not, some other way. Come, +give me your account, fair and full, of how you came to lose that ring; +there's no help for it--you must!" + +Leander saw this and yielded. After all, it did not much matter, for of +course he would not touch upon the strange sequel of his ill-omened act; +so he told the story faithfully and circumstantially, while the +inspector took it all down in his note-book, questioning him closely +respecting the exact time of each occurrence. + +At last he closed his note-book with a snap. "I'm not obliged to tell +you anything in return for all this," he said; "but I will, and then +you'll see the importance of holding your tongue till I give you leave +to talk about it." + +"_I_ shan't talk about it," said Leander. + +"I don't advise you to. I suppose you've heard of that affair at +Wricklesmarsh Court? What! not that business where a gang broke into the +sculpture gallery, one of the finest private collections in England? You +surprise me!" + +"And what did they steal?" asked Leander. + +"They stole the figure whose finger you were ass enough (if you'll allow +me the little familiarity) to put your ring on. What do you think of +that?" + +A wild rush of ideas coursed through the hairdresser's head. Was this +policeman "after" the goddess upstairs? Did he know anything more? Would +it be better to give up the statue at once and get rid of it? But +then--his ring would be lost for ever! + +"It's surprising," he said at last. "But what did they want to go and +burgle a plaster figure for?" + +"That's where it is, you see; she ain't plaster--she's marble, a genuine +antic of Venus, and worth thousands. The beggars who broke in knew that, +and took nothing else. They'd made all arrangements to get away with her +abroad, and pass her off on some foreign collection before it got blown +upon; and they'd have done it too if we hadn't been beforehand with +them! So what do they do then? They drive up with her to these gardens, +ask to see the manager, and say they're agents for some Fine Arts +business, and have a sample with them, to be disposed of at a low price. +The manager, so he tells me, had a look at it, thought it a neat article +and suitable to the style of his gardens. He took it to be plain +plaster, as they said, and they put it up for him their own selves, +near the small gate up by the road; then they took the money--a pound or +two they asked for it--and drove away, and he saw no more of them." + +"And was that all they got for their pains?" said Leander. + +The inspector smiled indulgently. "Don't you see your way yet?" he +asked. "Can't you give a guess where that statue's got to now, eh?" + +"No," said Leander, with what seemed to the inspector a quite +uncalled-for excitement, "of course I can't! What do you ask me for? How +should I know?" + +"Quite so," said the other; "you want a mind trained to deal with these +things. It may surprise you to hear it, but I know as well how that +statue disappeared, and what was done with her, as if I'd been there!" + +"Do you, though?" thought Leander, who was beginning to doubt whether +his visitor's penetration was anything so abnormal. "What was done with +her?" he asked. + +"Why, it was a plant from the first. They knew all their regular holes +were stopped, and they wanted a place to dump her down in, where she +wouldn't attract attention, till they could call for her again; so they +got her taken in at the gardens, where they could come in any time by +the gate and fetch her off again--and very neatly it was done, too!" + +"But where do you make out they've taken her to now?" asked Leander, who +was naturally anxious to discover if the official had any suspicions of +him. + +"I've my own theory about that," was his answer. "I shall hunt that +Venus down, sir; I'll stake my reputation on it." + +"Venus is her name, it seems," thought Leander. "She told me it was +Aphrodite. But perhaps the other's her Christian name. It can't be the +Venus I've seen pictures of--she's dressed too decent." + +"Yes," repeated the inspector, "I shall hunt her down now. I don't envy +the poor devil who's giving her house-room; he'll have reason to repent +it!" + +"How do you know any one's giving her house-room?" inquired Leander; +"and why should he repent it?" + +"Ask your own common sense. They daren't take her back to any of their +own places; they know better. They haven't left the country with her. +What remains? They've bribed or got over some mug of an outsider to be +their accomplice, and a bad speculation he'll find it, too." + +"What would be done to him?" asked the hairdresser, with a quite +unpleasant internal sensation. + +[Illustration: "WHAT WOULD BE DONE TO HIM?" ASKED THE HAIRDRESSER, WITH +A QUITE UNPLEASANT INTERNAL SENSATION.] + +"That is a question I wouldn't pretend to decide; but I've no hesitation +in saying that the party on whose premises that statue is discovered +will wish he'd died before he ever set eyes on her." + +"You're quite right there!" said Leander. "Well, sir, I'm afraid I +haven't been much assistance to you." + +"Never mind that," said the inspector, encouragingly; "you've answered +my questions; you've not hindered the law, and that's a game some burn +their fingers at." + +Leander let him out, and returned to his saloon with his head in a worse +whirl than before. He did not think the detective suspected him. He was +clearly barking up the wrong tree at present; but so acute a mind could +not be long deceived, and if once Leander was implicated his guilt would +appear beyond denial. Would the police believe that the statue had run +after him? No one would believe it! To be found in possession of that +fatal work of art would inevitably ruin him. + +He might carry her away to some lonely spot and leave her, but where was +the use? She would only come back again; or he might be taken in the +act. He dared not destroy her; his right arm had been painful all day +after that last attempt. + +If he gave her up to the authorities, he would have to explain how he +came to be in a position to do so, which, as he now saw, would be a +difficult undertaking; and even then he would lose all chance of +recovering his ring in time to satisfy his aunt and Matilda. There was +no way out of it, unless he could induce Venus to give up the token and +leave him alone. + +"Cuss her!" he said angrily; "a pretty bog she's led me into, she and +that minx, Ada Parkinson!" + +He felt so thoroughly miserable that hunger had vanished, and he dreaded +the idea of an evening at home, though it was a blusterous night, with +occasional vicious spirts of rain, and by no means favourable to +continued pacing of streets and squares. + +"I'm hanged if I don't think I'll go to church!" he thought; "and +perhaps I shall feel more equal to supper afterwards." + +He went upstairs to get his best hat and overcoat, and was engaged in +brushing the former in his sitting-room, when from within the cupboard +he heard a shower of loud raps. + +His knees trembled. "She's wuss than any ghost!" he thought; but he took +no notice, and went on brushing his hat, while he endeavoured to hum a +hymn. + +"Leander!" cried the clear, hard voice he knew too well, "I have +returned. Release me!" + +His first idea was to run out of the house and seek sanctuary in some +pew in the opposite church. "But there," he thought disgustedly, "she'd +only come in and sit next to me. No, I'll pluck up a spirit and have it +out with her!" and he threw open the door. + +"How have you dared to imprison me in this narrow tomb?" she demanded +majestically, as she stepped forth. + +Leander cringed. "It's a nice roomy cupboard," he said. "I thought +perhaps you wouldn't mind putting up with it, especially as you invited +yourself," he could not help adding. + +"When I found myself awake and in utter darkness," she said, "I thought +you had buried me beneath the soil." + +"Buried you!" he exclaimed, with a sudden perception that he might do +worse. + +"And in that thought I was preparing to invoke the forces that lie below +the soil to come to my aid, burst the masses that impeded me, and +overwhelm you and all this ugly swarming city in one vast ruin!" + +"I won't bury her," Leander decided. "I'm sorry you hadn't a better +opinion of me, mum," he said aloud. "You see, how you came to be in +there was this way: when you went out, like the snuff of a candle, so to +speak, you left your statue standing in the middle of the floor, and I +had to put it somewhere where it wouldn't be seen." + +"You did well," she said indulgently, "to screen my image from the +vulgar sight; and if you had no statelier shrine wherein to instal it, +the fault lies not with you. You are pardoned." + +"Thank you, mum," said Leander; "and now let me ask you if you intend to +animate that statue like this as a regular thing?" + +"So long as your obstinacy continues, or until it outlives my +forbearance, I shall return at intervals," she said. "Why do you ask +this?" + +"Well," said Leander, with a sinking heart, but hoping desperately to +move her by the terrors of the law, "it's my duty to tell you that that +image you're in is stolen property." + +"Has it been stolen from one of my temples?" she asked. + +"I dare say--I don't know; but there's the police moving heaven and +earth to get you back again!" + +"He is good and pious--the police, and if I knew him I would reward +him." + +"There's a good many hims in the police--that's what we call our guards +for the street, who take up thieves and bad characters; and, being +stolen, they're all of 'em after _you_; and if they had a notion where +you were, they'd be down on you, and back you'd go to wherever you've +come from--some gallery, I believe, where you wouldn't get away again in +a hurry! Now, I tell you what it is, if you don't give me up that ring, +and go away and leave me in quiet, I'll tell the police who you are and +where you are. I mean what I say, by George I do!" + +"We know not George, nor will it profit you to invoke him now," said the +goddess. "See, I will deign to reason with you as with some froward +child. Think you that, should the guards seize my image, _I_ should +remain within, or that it is aught to me where this marble presentment +finds a resting-place while I am absent therefrom? But for you, should +you surrender it into their hands, would there be no punishment for your +impiety in thus concealing a divine effigy?" + +"She ain't no fool!" thought Leander; "she mayn't understand our ways, +but she's a match for me notwithstanding. I must try another line." + +"Lady Venus," he began, "if that's the proper way to call you, I didn't +mean any threats--far from it. I'll be as humble as you please. You look +a good-natured lady; you wouldn't want to make a man uncomfortable, I'm +sure. Do give me back that ring, for mercy's sake! If I haven't got it +to show in a day or two, I shall be ruined!" + +"Should any mortal require the ring of you, you have but to reply, 'I +have placed it upon the finger of Aphrodite, whose spouse I am!' Thus +will you have honour amongst mortals, being held blameless!" + +"Blameless!" cried Leander, in pardonable exasperation. "That's all you +know about it! And what am I to say to the lady it lawfully belongs to?" + +"You have lied to me, then, and you are already affianced! Tell me the +abode of this maiden of yours." + +"What do you want it for?" he inquired, hoping faintly she might intend +to restore the ring. + +"To seek it out, to go to her abode, to crush her! Is she not my rival?" + +"Crush my Matilda?" he cried in agony. "You'll never do such a thing as +that?" + +"You have revealed her name! I have but to ask in your streets, 'Where +abideth Matilda, the beloved of Leander, the dresser of hair? Lead me to +her dwelling.' And having arrived thereat, I shall crush her, and thus +she shall deservedly perish!" + +He was horrified at the possible effects of his slip, which he hastened +to repair. "You won't find it so easy to come at her, luckily," he said; +"there's hundreds of Matildas in London alone." + +"Then," said the goddess, sweetly and calmly, "it is simple: I shall +crush them all." + +"Oh, lor!" whimpered Leander, "here's a bloodthirsty person! Where's the +sense of doing that?" + +"Because, dissipated reveller that you are, you love them." + +"Now, when did I ever say I loved them? I don't even know more than two +or three, and those I look on as sisters--in fact" (here he hit upon a +lucky evasion) "they _are_ sisters--it's only another name for them. +I've a brother and three Matildas, and here are you talking of crushing +my poor sisters as if they were so many beadles--all for nothing!" + +"Is this the truth? Palter not with me! You are pledged to no mortal +bride?" + +"I'm a bachelor. And as for the ring, it belongs to my aunt, who's over +fifty." + +"Then no one stands between us, and you are mine!" + +"Don't talk so ridiculous! I tell you I ain't yours--it's a free +country, this is!" + +"If I--an immortal--can stoop thus, it becomes you not to reject the +dazzling favour." + +A last argument occurred to him. "But I reelly don't think, mum," he +said persuasively, "that you can be quite aware of the extent of the +stoop. The fact is, I am, as I've tried to make you understand, a +hairdresser; some might lower themselves so far as to call me a barber. +Now, hairdressing, whatever may be said for it" (he could not readily +bring himself to decry his profession)--"hairdressing is considribly +below you in social rank. I wouldn't deceive you by saying otherwise. I +assure you that, if you had any ideer what a barber was, you wouldn't be +so pressing." + +She seemed to be struck by this. "You say well!" she observed, +thoughtfully; "your occupation may be base and degrading, and if so, it +were well for me to know it." + +"If you were once to see me in my daily avocations," he urged, "you'd +see what a mistake you're making." + +"Enough! I will see you--and at once. Barb, that I may know the nature +of your toil!" + +"I can't do that now," he objected; "I haven't got a customer." + +"Then fetch one, and barb with it immediately. You must have your tools +by you; so delay not!" + +"A customer ain't a tool!" he groaned, "it's a fellow-man; and no one +will come in to-night, because it's Sunday. (Don't ask me what Sunday +is, because you wouldn't understand if I tried to tell you!) And I don't +carry on my business up here, but below in the saloon." + +"I will go thither and behold you." + +"No!" he exclaimed. "Do you want to ruin me?" + +"I will make no sign; none shall recognise me for what I am. But come I +will!" + +Leander pondered awhile. There was danger in introducing the goddess +into his saloon; he had no idea what she might do there. But at the same +time, if she were bent upon coming, she would probably do so in any +case; and besides, he felt tolerably certain that what she would see +would convince her of his utter unsuitability as a consort. + +Yes, it was surely wisest to assist necessity, and obtain the most +favourable conditions for the inevitable experiment. + +"I might put you in a corner of the operating-room, to be sure," he said +thoughtfully. "No one would think but what you was part of the fittings, +unless you went moving about." + +"Place me where I may behold you at your labour, and there I will +remain," she said. + +"Well," he conceded, "I'll risk it. The best way would be for you to +walk down to the saloon, and leave yourself ready in a corner till you +come to again. I can't carry a heavy marble image all that way!" + +"So be it," said she, and followed him to the saloon with a proud +docility. + +"It's nicely got up," he remarked, as they reached it; "and you'll find +it roomier than the cupboard." + +She deigned no answer as she remained motionless in the corner he had +indicated; and presently, as he held up the candle he was carrying, he +found its rays were shining upon a senseless stone. + +He went upstairs again, half fearful, half sanguine. "I don't altogether +like it," he was thinking. "But if I put a print wrapper over her all +day, no one will notice. And goddesses must have their proper pride. If +she once gets it into her marble head that I keep a shop, I think that +she'll turn up her nose at me. And then she'll give back the ring and go +away, and I shan't be afraid of the police; and I needn't tell Tillie +anything about it. It's worth risking." + + + + +AN EXPERIMENT + +V. + + "'Tis time; descend; be stone no more; approach: + Strike all that look upon with marvel." + + _The Winter's Tale._ + + +The next day brought Leander a letter which made his heart beat with +mingled emotions--it was from his Matilda. It had evidently been written +immediately before her return, and told him that she would be at their +old meeting-place (the statue of Fox in Bloomsbury Square) at eight +o'clock that evening. + +The wave of tenderness which swept over him at the anticipation of this +was hurled back by an uncomfortable thought. What if Matilda were to +refer to the ring? But no; his Matilda would do nothing so indelicate. + +All through the day he mechanically went through his hairdressing, +singeing, and shampooing operations, divided between joy at the prospect +of seeing his adored Matilda again, and anxiety respecting the cold +marble swathed in the print wrapper, which stood in the corner of his +hair-cutting saloon. + +He glanced at it every time he went past to change a brush or heat a +razor, but there was no sign of movement under the folds, and he +gradually became reassured, especially as it excited no remark. + +But as evening drew on he felt that, for the success of his experiment, +it was necessary that the cover should be removed. It was dangerous, +supposing the inspector were to come in unexpectedly and recognise the +statue; but he could only trust to fortune for that, and hoped, too, +that even if the detective came he would be able to keep him in the +outer shop. + +It was only for one evening, and it was well worth the risk. + +A foreign gentleman had come in, and the hairdresser found that a fresh +wrapper was required, which gave him the excuse he wanted for unveiling +the Aphrodite. He looked carefully at the face as he uncovered it, but +could discover no speculation as yet in the calm, full gaze of the +goddess. + +The foreign gentleman was inclined to be talkative under treatment, and +the conversation came round to public amusements. + +"In my country," the customer said, without mentioning or betraying what +his particular country was--"in my country we have what you have not, +places to sit out in the fresh air, and drink a glass of beer, along +with the entertainments. You have not that in London?" + +"Bless your soul, yes," said Leander, who was a true patriot, "plenty of +them!" + +"Oh, I did not aware that; but who?" + +"Well," said the hairdresser, "there's the Eagle in the City Road, for +one; and there's the Surrey Gardens; and there's Rosherwich," he added, +after a pause. (The Fisheries Exhibition, it may be said, was as yet +unknown.) + +"And you go there, often?" + +"I've been to Rosherwich." + +"Was it goot there--you laike it, eh?" + +"Well," said Leander, "they tell me it's very gay in the season. +P'rhaps I went at the wrong time of the year for it." + +"What you call wrong time for it?" + +"Slack--nothing going on," he explained; "like it was when I went last +Saturday." + +"You went last Saturday? And you stay a long time?" + +"I didn't stay no longer than I could help," Leander said. "All our +party was glad to get away." + +The foreigner had risen to go, when his eyes fell on the Venus in the +corner. + +"You did not stay long, and your party was glad to come away?" he +repeated absently. "I am not surprised at that." He gave the hairdresser +a long stare as he spoke. "No, I am not surprised.... You have a good +taste, my friend; you laike the antique, do you not?" he broke off +suddenly. + +"Ah! you are looking at the Venus, sir," said Leander. "Yes, I'm very +partial to it." + +"It is a taste that costs," his customer said. + +He looked back over his shoulder as he left the shop, and once more +repeated softly, "Yes, it is a taste that costs." + +"I suppose," Leander reflected as he went back, "it does strike people +as queer, my keeping that statue there; but it's only for one evening." + +The foreigner had scarcely left when an old gentleman, a regular +customer, looked in, on his way from the City, and at once noticed the +innovation. He was an old gentleman who had devoted much time and study +to Art, in the intervals of business, and had developed critical powers +of the highest order. + +He walked straight up to the Venus, and stuck out his under lip. "Where +did you get that thing?" he inquired. "Isn't this place of yours small +enough, without lumbering it up with statuary out of the Euston Road?" + +"I didn't get it there," said Leander. "I--I thought it would be 'andy +to 'ang the 'ats on." + +"Dear, dear," said the old gentleman, "why do you people dabble in +matters you don't understand? Come here, Tweddle, and let me show you. +Can't you _see_ what a miserable sham the thing is--a cheap, tawdry +imitation of the splendid classic type? Why, by merely exhibiting such a +thing, you're vitiating public taste, sir--corrupting it." + +Leander did not quite follow this rebuke, which he thought was probably +based upon the goddess's antecedents. + +"Was she reelly as bad as that, sir?" he said. "I wasn't aware so, or I +shouldn't give any offence to customers by letting her stay here." + +As he spoke he saw the indefinable indications in the statue's face +which denoted that it was instinct once more with life and intelligence, +and he was horrified at the thought that the latter part of the +conversation might have been overheard. + +"But I've always understood," he said, hastily, "that the party this +represents was puffickly correct, however free some of the others might +have been; and I suppose that's the costume of the period she's in, and +very becoming it is, I'm sure, though gone out since." + +"Bah!" said the old gentleman, "it's poor art. I'll show you _where_ the +thing is bad. I happen to understand something of these things. Just +observe how the top of the head is out of drawing; look at the lowness +of the forehead, and the distance between the eyes; all the canons of +proportion ignored--absolutely ignored!" + +What further strictures this rash old gentleman was preparing to pass +upon the statue will never be known now, for Tweddle already thought he +could discern a growing resentment in her face, under so much candour. +He could not stand by and allow so excellent a customer to be crushed on +the floor of his saloon, and he knew the Venus quite capable of this: +was she not perpetually threatening such a penalty, on much slighter +provocation? + +He rushed between the unconscious man and his fate. "I think you said +your hair cut?" he said, and laid violent hands upon the critic, forced +him protesting into a chair, throttled him with a towel, and effectually +diverted his attention by a series of personal remarks upon the top of +his head. + +The victim, while he was being shampooed, showed at first an alarming +tendency to revert to the subject of the goddess's defects, but Leander +was able to keep him in check by well-timed jets of scalding water and +ice-cold sprays, which he directed against his customer's exposed crown, +until every idea, except impotent rage, was washed out of it, while a +hard machine brush completed the subjugation. + +Finally, the unfortunate old man staggered out of the shop, preserved by +Leander's unremitting watchfulness from the wrath of the goddess. Yet, +such is the ingratitude of human nature, that he left the place vowing +to return no more. "I thought I'd got a _clown_ behind me, sir!" he used +to say afterwards, in describing it. + +Before Leander could recover from the alarm he had been thrown into, +another customer had entered; a pale young man, with a glossy hat, a +white satin necktie, and a rather decayed gardenia. He, too, was one of +Tweddle's regular clients. What his occupation might be was a mystery, +for he aimed at being considered a man of pleasure. + +"I say, just shave me, will you?" he said, and threw himself languidly +into a chair. "Fact is, Tweddle, I've been so doosid chippy for the last +two days, I daren't touch a razor." + +"Indeed, sir!" said Leander, with respectful sympathy. + +"You see," explained the youth, "I've been playing the goat--the giddy +goat. Know what that means?" + +"I used to," said Leander; "I never touch alcoholic stimulants now, +myself." + +"Wish I didn't. I say, Tweddle, have you been to the Cosmopolitan +lately?" + +"I don't go to music-'alls now," said Leander; "I've give up all that +now I'm keeping company." + +"Well, you go and see the new ballet," the youth exhorted him earnestly; +not that he cared whether the hairdresser went or not, but because he +wanted to talk about the ballet to somebody. + +"Ah!" observed Leander; "is that a good one they've got there now, sir?" + +"Rather think so. Ballet called _Olympus_. There's a regular ripping +little thing who comes on as one of Venus's doves." And the youth went +on to intimate that the dove in question had shown signs of being struck +by his powers of fascination. "I saw directly that I'd mashed her; she +was gone, dead gone, sir; and----I say, who's that in the corner over +there--eh?" + +He was staring intently into the pier-glass in front of him. "That?" +said Leander, following his glance. "Oh! that's a statue I've bought. +She--she brightens up the place a bit, don't she?" + +"A statue, is it? Yes, of course; I knew it was a statue. Well, about +that dove. I went round after it was all over, but couldn't see a sign +of her; so----That's a queer sort of statue you've got there!" he +broke off suddenly; and Leander distinctly saw the goddess shake her arm +in fierce menace. "He's said something that's put her out," he +concluded. "I wish I knew what it was." + +"It's a classical statue, sir," he said, with what composure he might; +"they're all made like that." + +"Are they, by Jove? But, Tweddle, I say, it _moves_: it's shaking its +fist like old Harry!" + +"Oh, I think you're mistaken, sir, really! I don't perceive it myself." + +"Don't perceive it? But, hang it, man, look--look in the glass! There! +don't you see it does? Dash it! can't you _say_ it does?" + +"Flaw in the mirror, sir; when you move your 'ed, you do ketch that +effect. I've observed it myself frequent. Chin cut, sir? My fault--my +fault entirely," he admitted handsomely. + +The young man was shaved by this time, and had risen to receive his hat +and cane, when he gave a violent start as he passed the Aphrodite. +"There!" he said, breathlessly, "look at that, Tweddle; she's going to +punch my head! I suppose you'll tell me _that's_ the glass?" + +Leander trembled--this time for his own reputation; for the report that +he kept a mysterious and pugnacious statue on the premises would not +increase his custom. He must silence it, if possible. "I'm afraid it is, +sir--in a way," he remarked, compassionately. + +The young man turned paler still. "No!" he exclaimed. "You don't think +it is, though? Don't you see anything yourself? I don't either, Tweddle; +I was chaffing, that's all. I know I'm a wee bit off colour; but it's +not so bad as that. Keep off! Tell her to drop it, Tweddle!" + +[Illustration: "KEEP OFF! TELL HER TO DROP IT, TWEDDLE!"] + +For, as he spoke, the goddess had made a stride towards him. "Miserable +one!" she cried, "you have mangled one of my birds. Hence, or I crush +thee!" + +"Tweddle! Tweddle!" cried the youth, taking refuge in the other shop, +"don't let her come after me! What's she talking about, eh? You +shouldn't have these things about; they're--they're not _right_!" + +Leander shut the glass door and placed himself before it, while he tried +to assume a concerned interest. "You take my advice, sir," he said; "you +go home and keep steady." + +"Is it that?" murmured the customer. "Great Scott! I must be bad!" and +he went out into the street, shaking. + +"I don't believe I shall ever see _him_ again, either," thought Leander. +"She'll drive 'em all away if she goes on like this." But here a sudden +recollection struck him, and he slapped his thigh with glee. "Why, of +course," he said, "that's it. I've downright disgusted her; it was me +she was most put out with, and after this she'll leave me alone. Hooray! +I'll shut up everything first and get rid of the boy, and then go in and +see her, and get away to Matilda." + +When the shop was secured for the night, he re-entered the saloon with a +light step. "Well, mum," he began, "you've seen me at work, and you've +thought better of what you were proposing, haven't you now?" + +"Where is the wretched stripling who dared to slay my dove?" she cried. +"Bring him to me!" + +"What _are_ you a-talking about now?" cried the bewildered Leander. +"Who's been touching your birds? I wasn't aware you _kept_ birds." + +"Many birds are sacred to me--the silver swan, the fearless sparrow, +and, chief of all, the coral-footed dove. And one of these has that +monster slain--his own mouth hath spoken it." + +"Oh! is that all?" said Leander. "Why, he wasn't talking about a real +dove; it was a ballet girl he meant. I can't explain the difference; but +they _are_ different. And it's all talk, too. I know him; _he's_ +harmless enough. And now, mum, to come to the point; you've now had the +opportunity of forming some ideer of my calling. You've thought better +of it, haven't you?" + +"Better! ay, far better!" she cried, in a voice that thrilled with +pride. "Leander, too modestly you have rated yourself, for surely you +are great amongst the sons of men." + +"_Me!_" he gasped, utterly overcome. "How do you make that out?" + +"Do you not compel them to furnish sport for you? Have I not seen them +come in, talking boldly and loud, and yet seat themselves submissively +at a sign from you? And do you not swathe them in the garb of +humiliation, and daub their countenances with whiteness, and threaten +their bared throats with the gleaming knife, and grind their heads under +the resistless wheel? Then, having in disdain granted them their +worthless lives, you set them free; and they propitiate you with a gift, +and depart trembling." + +"Well, of all the topsy-turvy contrariness!" he protested. "You've got +it _all_ wrong; I declare you have! But I'll put you right, if it's +possible to do it." And he launched into a lengthy explanation of the +wonders she had seen, at the end of which he inquired, "_Now_ do you +understand I'm nobody in particular?" + +"It may be so," she admitted; "but what of that? Ere this have I been +wild with love for a herdsman on Phrygian hills. Aye, Adonis have I +kissed in the oakwood, and bewailed his loss. And did not Selene +descend to woo the neatherd Endymion? Wherefore, then, should I scorn +thee? and what are the differences and degrees of mortals to such as I! +Be bold; distrust your merits no longer, since I, who amongst the +goddesses obtained the prize of beauty, have chosen you for my own." + +"I don't care what prizes you won," he said, sulkily; "I'm not yours, +and I don't intend to be, either." He was watching the clock impatiently +all the while, for it was growing very near nine. + +"It is vain to struggle," she said, "since not the gods themselves can +resist Fate. We must yield, and contend not." + +"You begin it, then," he said. "Give me my ring." + +"The sole symbol of my power! the charm which has called me from my long +sleep! Never!" + +"Then," said Leander, knowing full well that his threat was an +impossible one, "I shall place the matter in the hands of a respectable +lawyer." + +"I understand you not; but it is no matter. In time I shall prevail." + +"Well, mum, you must come again another evening, if you've no +objection," said Leander, rudely, "because I've got to go out just now." + +"I will accompany you," she said. + +Leander nearly danced with frenzy. Take the statue with him to meet his +dear Matilda! He dared not. "You're very kind," he stammered, perspiring +freely; "but I couldn't think of taking you out such a foggy evening." + +"Have no cares for me," she answered; "we will go together. You shall +explain to me the ways of this changed world." + +"Catch _me_!" was Leander's elliptical comment to himself; but he had +to pretend a delighted acquiescence. "Well," he cried, "if I hadn't been +thinking how lonely it would be going out alone! and now I shall have +the honour of your company, mum. You wait a bit here, while I run +upstairs and fetch my 'at." + +But the perfidious man only waited until he was on the other side of the +door, which led from the saloon to his staircase, to lock it after him, +and slip out by the private door into the street. + +"Now, my lady," he thought triumphantly, "you're safe for awhile, at all +events. I've put up the shutters, and so you won't get out that way. And +now for Tillie!" + + + + +TWO ARE COMPANY + +VI. + + "The shape + Which has made escape, + And before my countenance + Answers me glance for glance." + + _Mesmerism._ + + +Leander hastened eagerly to his trysting-place. All these obstacles and +difficulties had rendered his Matilda tenfold dearer and more precious +to him; and besides, it was more than a fortnight since he had last seen +her. But he was troubled and anxious still at the recollection of the +Greek statue shut up in his hair-cutting saloon. What would Matilda say +if she knew about it; and still worse, what might it not do if it knew +about her? Matilda might decline to continue his acquaintance--for she +was a very right-minded girl--unless Venus, like the jealous and +vindictive heathen she had shown herself to be, were to crush her before +she even had the opportunity. + +"It's a mess," he thought disconsolately, "whatever way I look at it. +But after to-night I won't meet Matilda any more while I've got that +statue staying with me, or no one could tell the consequences." However, +when he drew near the appointed spot, and saw the slender form which +awaited him there by the railings, he forgot all but the present joy. +Even the memory of the terrible divinity could not live in the wholesome +presence of the girl he had the sense to truly and honestly love. + +Matilda Collum was straight and slim, though not tall; she had a neat +little head of light brown hair, which curled round her temples in soft +rings; her complexion was healthily pale, with the slightest tinge of +delicate pink in it; she had a round but decided chin, and her grey eyes +were large and innocently severe, except on the rare occasions when she +laughed, and then their expression was almost childlike in its gaiety. + +Generally, and especially in business hours, her pretty face was calm +and slightly haughty, and rash male customers who attempted to make the +choice of a "button-hole" an excuse for flirtation were not encouraged +to persevere. She was seldom demonstrative to Leander--it was not her +way--but she accepted his effusive affection very contentedly, and, +indeed, returned it more heartily than her principles allowed her to +admit; for she secretly admired his spirit and fluency, and, as is often +the case in her class of life, had no idea that she was essentially her +lover's superior. + +After the first greetings, they walked slowly round the square together, +his arm around her waist. Neither said very much for some minutes, but +Leander was wildly, foolishly happy, and there was no severity in +Matilda's eyes when they shone in the lamp-light. + +"Well," he said, at last, "and so I've actually got you safe back again, +my dear, darling Tillie! It seems like a long eternity since last we +met. I've been so beastly miserable, Matilda!" + +"You do seem to have got thinner in the face, Leander dear," said +Matilda, compassionately. "What _have_ you been doing while I've been +away?" + +"Only wishing my dearest girl back, that's all _I've_ been doing." + +"What! haven't you given yourself any enjoyment at all--not gone out +anywhere all the time?" + +"Not once--leastwise, that is to say----" A guilty memory of Rosherwich +made him bungle here. + +"Why, of course I didn't expect you to stop indoors all the time," said +Matilda, noticing the amendment, "so long as you never went where you +wouldn't take me." + +Oh, conscience, conscience! But Rosherwich didn't count--it was outside +the radius; and besides, he _hadn't_ enjoyed himself. + +"Well," he said, "I did go out one evening, to hear a lecture on +Astronomy at the Town Hall, in the Gray's Inn Road; but then I had the +ticket given me by a customer, and I reely was surprised to find how +regular the stars was in their habits, comets and all. But my 'Tilda is +the only star of the evening for me, to-night. I don't want to talk +about anything else." + +The diversion was successful, and Matilda asked no more inconvenient +questions. Presently she happened to cough slightly, and he touched +accusingly the light summer cloak she was wearing. + +"You're not dressed warm enough for a night like this," he said, with a +lover's concern. "Haven't you got anything thicker to put on than that?" + +"I haven't bought my winter things yet," said Matilda; "it was so mild, +that I thought I'd wait till I could afford it better. But I've chosen +the very thing I mean to buy. You know Mrs. Twilling's, at the top of +the Row, the corner shop? Well, in the window there's a perfectly lovely +long cloak, all lined with squirrel's fur, and with those nice oxidized +silver fastenings. A cloak like that lasts ever so long, and will always +look neat and quiet; and any one can wear it without being stared +after; so I mean to buy it as soon as it turns really cold." + +"Ah!" said he, "I can't have you ketching cold, you know; it ain't +summer any longer, and I--I've been thinking we must give up our evening +strolls together for the present." + +"When you've just been saying how miserable you've been without them. +Oh, Leander!" + +"Without _you_," he amended lamely. "I shall see you at aunt's, of +course; only we'd better suspend the walks while the nights are so raw. +And, oh, Tillie, ere long you will be mine, my little wife! Only to +think of you keeping the books for me with your own pretty little +fingers, and sending out the bills! (not that I give much credit). Ah, +what a blissful dream it sounds! Does it to you, Matilda?" + +"I'm not sure that you keep your books the same way as we do," she +replied demurely; "but I dare say"--(and this was a great concession for +Matilda)--"I dare say we shall suit one another." + +"Suit one another!" he cried. "Ah! we shall be inseparable as a brush +and comb, Tillie, if you'll excuse so puffessional a stimulus. And what +a future lies before me! If I can only succeed in introducing some of my +inventions to public notice, we may rise, Tilly, 'like an exclamation,' +as the poet says. I believe my new nasal splint has only to be known to +become universally worn; and I've been thinking out a little machine +lately for imparting a patrician arch to the flattest foot, that ought +to have an extensive run. I almost wish you weren't so pretty, Tillie. +I've studied you careful, and I'm bound to say, as it is there really +isn't room for any improvement I could suggest. Nature's beaten me +there, and I'm not too proud to own it." + +"Would you rather there _was_ room!" inquired Matilda. + +"From a puffessional point of view, it would have inspired me," he said. +"It would have suggested ideers, and I shouldn't have loved you less, +not if you hadn't had a tooth in your mouth nor a hair on your head; you +would still be my beautiful Tillie." + +"I would rather be as I am, thank you," said Matilda, to whom this fancy +sketch did not appeal. "And now, let's talk about something else. Do you +know that mamma is coming up to town at the end of the week on purpose +to see you?" + +"No," said Leander, "I--I didn't." + +"Yes, she's taken the whole of your aunt's first floor for a week. (You +know, she knew Miss Tweddle when she was younger, and that was how I +came to lodge there, and to meet you.) Do you remember that Sunday +afternoon you came to tea, and your aunt invited me in, because she +thought I must be feeling so dull, all alone?" + +"Ah, I should think I did! Do you remember I helped to toast the +crumpets? What a halcyon evening that was, Matilda!" + +"Was it?" she said. "I don't remember the weather exactly; but it was +nice indoors." + +"But, I say, Tillie, my own," he said, somewhat anxiously, "how does +your ma like your being engaged to me?" + +"Well, I don't think she does like it quite," said Matilda. "She says +she will reserve her consent till she sees whether you are worthy; but +directly she sees you, Leander, her objections will vanish." + +"She has got objections, then? What to?" + +"Mother always wanted me to keep my affections out of trade," said +Matilda. "You see, she never can forget what poor papa was." + +"And what was your poor papa?" asked Leander. + +"Didn't you know? He was a dentist, and that makes mamma so very +particular, you see." + +"But, hang it, Matilda! you're employed in a flower-shop, you know." + +"Yes, but mamma never really approved of it; only she had to give way +because she couldn't afford to keep me at home, and I scorned to go out +as a governess. Never mind, Leander; when she comes to know you and hear +your conversation, she will relent; her pride will melt." + +"But suppose it keeps solid; what will you do, Matilda?" + +"I am independent, Leander; and though I would prefer to marry with +mamma's approval, I shouldn't feel bound to wait for it. So long as you +are all I think you are, I shouldn't allow any one to dictate to me." + +"Bless you for those words, my angelic girl!" he said, and hugged her +close to his breast. "Now I can beard your ma with a light 'art. Oh, +Matilda! you can form no ideer how I worship you. Nothing shall ever +come betwixt us two, shall it?" + +"Nothing, as far as I am concerned, Leander," she replied. "What's the +matter?" + +He had given a furtive glance behind him after the last remarks, and his +embrace suddenly relaxed, until his arm was withdrawn altogether. + +"Nothing is the matter, Matilda," he said. "Doesn't the moon look red +through the fog?" + +"Is that why you took away your arm?" she inquired. + +"Yes--that is, no. It occurred to me I was rendering you too +conspicuous; we don't want to go about advertising ourselves, you know." + +"But who is there here to notice?" asked Matilda. + +"Nobody," he said; "oh, nobody! but we mustn't get into the _way_ of +it;" and he cast another furtive rearward look. In the full flow of his +raptures the miserable hairdresser had seen a sight which had frozen his +very marrow--a tall form, in flowing drapery, gliding up behind with a +tigress-like stealth. The statue had broken out, in spite of all his +precautions! Venus, jealous and exacting, was near enough to overhear +every word, and he could scarcely hope she had escaped seeing the arm he +had thrown round Matilda's waist. + +"You were going to tell me how you worshipped me," said Matilda. + +"I didn't say _worship_," he protested; "it--it's only images and such +that expect that. But I can tell you there's very few brothers feel to +you as I feel." + +"_Brothers_, Leander!" exclaimed Matilda, and walked farther apart from +him. + +"Yes," he said. "After all, what tie's closer than a brother? A uncle's +all very well, and similarly a cousin; but they can't feel like a +brother does, for brothers they are not." + +"I should have thought there were ties still closer," said Matilda; "you +seemed to think so too, once." + +"Oh, ah! _that_!" he said. (Every frigid word gave him a pang to utter; +but it was all for Matilda's sake.) "There's time enough to think of +that, my girl; we mustn't be in a hurry." + +"I'm _not_ in a hurry," said Matilda. + +"That's the proper way to look at it," said he; "and meanwhile I haven't +got a sister I'm fonder of than I am of you." + +"If you've nothing more to say than that, we had better part," she +remarked; and he caught at the suggestion with obvious relief. He had +been in an agony of terror, lest, even in the gathering fog, she should +detect that they were watched; and then, too, it was better to part with +her under a temporary misconception than part with her altogether. + +"Well," he said, "I mustn't keep you out any longer, with that cold." + +"You are very ready to get rid of me," said poor Matilda. + +"The real truth is," he answered, simulating a yawn with a heavy heart; +"I am most uncommon sleepy to-night, and all this standing about is too +much for me. So good-bye, and take care of yourself!" + +"I needn't say that to you," she said; "but I won't keep you up a minute +longer. I wonder you troubled to come out at all." + +"Oh," he said, carefully keeping as much in front of the statue as he +could, "it's no trouble; but you'll excuse me seeing you to the door +this evening?" + +"Oh, certainly," said Matilda, biting her lip. She touched his hand with +the ends of her fingers, and hurried away without turning her head. + +When she was out of sight, Leander faced round to the irrepressible +goddess. He was in a white rage; but terror and caution made him +suppress it to some extent. + +"So here you are again!" he said. + +"Why did you not wait for me?" she answered. "I remained long for you; +you came not, and I followed." + +"I see you did," said the aggrieved Leander; "I can't say I like being +spied upon. If you're a goddess, act as such!" + +"What! you dare to upbraid me?" she cried. "Beware, or I----" + +"I know," said Leander, flinching from her. "Don't do that; I only made +a remark." + +"I have the right to follow you; I choose to do so." + +"If you must, you must," he groaned; "but it does seem hard that I +mayn't slip out for a few minutes' talk with my only sister." + +"You said you were going to run for business, and you told me you had +three sisters." + +"So I have; but only one _youngest_ one." + +"And why did they not all come to talk with you?" + +"I suppose because the other two stayed at home," rejoined Leander, +sulkily. + +"I know not why, but I doubt you; that one who came, she is not like +you!" + +"No," said Leander, with a great show of candour, "that's what every one +says; all our family are like that; we are like in a way, because we're +all of us so different. You can tell us anywhere just by the difference. +My father and mother were both very unlike: I suppose we take after +them." + +The goddess seemed satisfied with this explanation. "And now that I have +regained you, let us return to your abode," she said; and Leander walked +back by her side, a prey to rage and humiliation. + +"It is a miserable thing," he was thinking, "for a man in my rank of +life to have a female statue trotting after him like a great dorg. I'm +d----d if I put up with it! Suppose we happen on somebody as knows me!" + +[Illustration: "IT IS A MISERABLE THING," HE WAS THINKING, "FOR A MAN +... TO HAVE A FEMALE STATUE TROTTING AFTER HIM LIKE A GREAT DORG."] + +Fortunately, at that time of night Bloomsbury Square is not much +frequented; the increasing fog prevented the apparition of a female in +classical garments from attracting the notice to which it might +otherwise have been exposed, and they reached the shop without any +disagreeable encounter. + +"She shan't stop in the saloon," he determined; "I've had enough of +that! If you've no objections," he said, with a mixture of deference and +dictation, "I shall be obliged if you'd settle yourself in the little +shrine in the upstairs room before proceeding to evaporate out of your +statue; it would be more agreeable to my feelings." + +"Ah!" she said, smiling, "you would have me nearer you? Your stubborn +heart is yielding; a little while, and you will own the power of +Aphrodite!" + +"Now, don't you go deceiving yourself with any such ideers," said the +hairdresser, irritably. "I shan't do no such thing, so you needn't think +it. And, to come to the point, how long do you mean to carry on this +little game?" + +"Game?" repeated the goddess, absently. + +"How long are you going to foller me about in this ridiclous way?" + +"Till you submit, and profess your willingness to redeem your promise." + +"Oh, and you're coming every evening till then, are you?" + +"At nightfall of each day I have power to revisit you." + +"Well, come then!" he said, with a fling of impatient anger. "I tell you +beforehand that you won't get anything by it. Not if you was to come and +bring a whole stonemason's yard of sculptures along with you, you +wouldn't! You ought to know better than to come pestering a respectable +tradesman in this bold-faced manner!" + +She smiled with a languid contemptuous tolerance, which maddened +Leander. + +"Rave on," she said. "Truly, you are a sorry prize for such as I to +stoop to win; yet I will it, nor shall you escape me. There will come a +day when, forsaken by all you hold dear on earth, despised, ruined, +distracted, you will pray eagerly for the haven of refuge to which I +alone can guide you. Take heed, lest your conduct now be remembered +then! I have spoken." + +They were indeed her last words that evening, and they impressed the +hairdresser, in spite of himself. Custom habituates the mind to any +marvel, and already he had overcome his first horror at the periodical +awakenings of the statue, and surprise was swallowed up by exasperation; +now, however, he quailed under her dark threats. Could it ever really +come to pass that he would sue to this stone to hide him in the realms +of the supernatural? + +"I know this," he told himself, "if it once gets about that there's a +hairdresser to be seen in Bloomsbury chivied about after dark by a +classical statue, I shan't dare to show my face. Yet I don't know how +I'm to prevent her coming out after me, at all events now and then. If +she was only a little more like other people, I shouldn't mind so much; +but it's more than I can bear to have to go about with a _tablow vivant_ +or a _pose plastique_ on my arm!" + +All at once he started to his feet. "I've got it!" he cried, and went +downstairs to his laboratory, to reappear with some camel-hair brushes, +grease-paints, and a selection from his less important discoveries in +the science of cosmetics; namely, an "eyebrow accentuator," a vase of +"Tweddle's Cream of Carnations" and "Blondinette Bloom," a china box of +"Conserve of Coral" for the lips, and one of his most expensive +_chevelures_. + +He was trembling as he arranged them upon his table; not that he was +aware of the enormity of the act he contemplated, but he was afraid the +goddess might revisit the marble while he was engaged upon it. + +He furnished the blank eye-sockets with a pair of eyes, which, if not +exactly artistic, at least supplied a want; he pencilled the eyebrows, +laid on several coats of the "Bloom," which he suffused cunningly with a +tinge of carnation, and stained the pouting lips with his "Conserve of +Coral." + +So far, perhaps, he had not violated the canons of art, and may even +have restored to the image something of its pristine hues; but his next +addition was one the vandalism of which admits of no possible defence, +and when he deftly fitted the coiffure of light closely-curled hair upon +the noble classical head, even Leander felt dimly that something was +wrong! + +"I don't know how it is," he pondered; "she looks more natural, but not +half so respectable. However, when she's got something on to cover the +marble, there won't be anything much to notice about her. I'll buy a +cloak for her the first thing to-morrow morning. Matilda was saying +something about a shop near here where I could get that. And then, if +this Venus must come following me about, she'll look less outlandish at +any rate, and that's something!" + + + + +A FURTHER PREDICAMENT + +VII. + + "So long as the world contains us both, + Me the loving and you the loth, + While the one eludes, must the other pursue." + + _Browning._ + + +Immediately after breakfast the next day, Leander went out and paid a +visit to Miss Twilling's, bringing away with him a hooded cloak of the +precise kind he remembered Matilda to have described as unlikely to +render its owner conspicuous. With this garment he succeeded in +disguising the statue to such a degree, that it was far less likely than +before that the goddess's appearance in public would excite any +particular curiosity--a result which somewhat relieved his anxiety as to +her future proceedings. + +But all that day his thoughts were busy with Matilda. He must, he +feared, have deeply offended her by his abrupt change on the previous +night; and now he could not expect to meet her again for days, and would +not know how to explain his conduct if he did meet her. + +If he could only dare to tell her everything; but from such a course he +shrank. Matilda would not only be extremely indignant (though, in very +truth, he had done nothing positively wrong as yet), but, with her +strict notions and well-regulated principles, she would assuredly +recoil from a lover who had brought himself into a predicament so +hideous. He would tell her all when, or if, he succeeded in extricating +himself. + +But he was to learn the nature of Matilda's sentiments sooner than he +expected. It was growing dusk, and he was unpacking a parcel of goods in +his front shop--for his saloon happened to be empty just then--when the +outer door swung back, and a slight girlish figure entered, after a +pause of indecision on the threshold. It was Matilda. + +Had she come to break it off--to reproach him? He was prepared for no +less; she had never paid him a visit like this alone before; and some +doubts of the propriety of the thing seemed to be troubling her now, for +she did not speak. + +"Matilda," he faltered, "don't tell me you have come in a spirit of +unpleasantness, for I can't bear it." + +"Don't you deserve that I should?" she said, but not angrily. "You know, +you were very strange in behaving as you did last night. I couldn't tell +what to make of it." + +"I know," he said confusedly; "it was something come over me, all of a +sudden like. I can't understand what made me like that; but, oh, Tillie, +my dearest love, my 'art was busting with adoration all the time! The +circumstances was highly peculiar; but I don't know that I could explain +them." + +"You needn't, Leander; I have found you out." She said this with a +strange significance. + +"What!" he almost shrieked. "You don't mean it, Matilda! Tell me, quick! +has the discovery changed your feelings towards me? Has it?" + +"Yes," she said softly. "I--I think it has; but you ought not to have +done it, Leander." + +"I know," he groaned. "I was a fool, Tillie; a fool! But I may get out +of it yet," he added. "I can get her to let me off. I must--I will!" + +Matilda opened her eyes. "But, Leander dear, listen; don't be so hasty. +I never said I _wanted_ her to let you off, did I?" + +He looked at her in a dazed manner. "I rather thought," he said slowly, +"that it might have put you out a little. I see I was mistook." + +"You might have known that I should be more pleased than angry, I should +think," said Matilda. + +"More pleased than----I might have known!" exclaimed the bewildered man. +"Oh, you can't reely be taking it as cool as this! Will you kindly +inform me _what_ it is you're alludin' to in this way?" + +"What is the use of pretending? You know I know. And it _is_ colder, +much colder, this morning. I felt it directly I got up." + +"Quite a change in the weather, I'm sure," he said mechanically; "it +feels like a frost coming on." ("Has Matilda looked in to tell me the +weather's changed?" he was wondering within himself. "Either I'm mad, or +Matilda is.") + +"You dear old goose!" said Matilda, with an unusual effusiveness; "you +shan't tease me like this! Do you think I've no eyes and no feelings? +Any girl, I don't care how proud or offended, would come round on such +proof of devotedness as I've had this evening. When I saw it gone, I +felt I must come straight in and thank you, and tell you I shouldn't +think any more of last night. I couldn't stop myself." + +"When you saw _what_ gone?" cried the hairdresser, rubbing up his hair. + +"The cloak," said Matilda; and then, as she saw his expression, her own +changed. "Leander Tweddle," she asked, in a dry hard voice, "have I been +making a wretched fool of myself? _Didn't_ you buy that cloak?" + +He understood at last. He had gone to Miss Twilling's chiefly because he +was in a hurry and it was close by, and he knew nowhere else where he +could be sure of getting what he required. Now, by some supreme stroke +of the ill-luck which seemed to be pursuing him of late, he had +unwittingly purchased the identical garment on which Matilda had fixed +her affections! How was he to notice that they took it out of the window +for him? + +All this flashed across him as he replied, "Yes, yes, Tillie, I did buy +a cloak there; but are you sure it was the same you told me about?" + +"Do you think a woman doesn't know the look of a thing like that, when +it's taken her fancy?" said Matilda. "Why, I could tell you every clasp +and tassel on that cloak; it wasn't one you'd see every day, and I knew +it was gone the moment I passed the window. It quite upset me, for I'd +set my heart on it so; and I ran in to Miss Twilling, and asked her what +had become of it; and when she said she'd sold it that morning, I +thought I should have fainted. You see, it never struck me that it could +be you; for how could I dream that you'd be clever enough to go and +choose the very one? Leander, it _was_ clever of you!" + +"Yes," he said, with a bitter rail against himself. "I'm a clever chap, +I am! But how did you find out?" + +"Oh, I made Miss Twilling (I often get little things there), I made her +describe who she sold it to, and she said she thought it was to a +gentleman in the hair-cutting persuasion who lived near; and then, of +course, I guessed who bought it." + +"Tillie," gasped Leander, "I--I didn't _mean_ you to guess; the purpose +for which I require that cloak is my secret." + +"Oh, you silly man, when I've guessed it! And I take it just as kind of +you as if it was to be all a surprise. I was wishing as I came along I +could afford to buy it at once, it struck so cold coming out of our +place; and you had actually bought it for me all the time! Thank you +ever so much, Leander dear!" + +He had only to accept the position; and he did. "I'm glad you're +pleased," he said; "I intended it as a surprise." + +"And I am surprised," said Matilda; "because, do you know, last night, +when I went home, I was feeling very cross with you. I kept thinking +that perhaps you didn't care for me any more, and were trying to break +it off; and, oh, all sorts of horrid things I kept thinking! And aunt +gave me a message for you this morning, and I was so out of temper I +wouldn't leave it. And now to find you've been so kind!" + +She stretched out her hand to him across the counter, and he took and +held it tight; he had never seen her looking sweeter, nor felt that she +was half so dear to him. After all, his blunder had brought them +together again, and he was grateful to it. + +At last Matilda said, "You were quite right about this wrapper, Leander; +it's not half warm enough for a night like this. I'm really afraid to go +home in it." + +He knew well enough what she intended him to do; but just then he dared +not appear to understand. "It isn't far, only to Millman Street," he +said; "and you must walk fast, Tillie. I wish I could leave the shop and +come too." + +"You want me to ask you downright," she said pouting. "You men can't +even be kind prettily. Don't you want to see how I look in your cloak, +Leander?" + +What could he say after that? He must run upstairs, deprive the goddess +of her mantle, and hand it over to Matilda. She had evidently made up +her mind to have that particular cloak, and he must buy the statue +another. It would be expensive; but there was no help for it. + +"Certainly," he said, "you shall have it now, dearest, if you'd like to. +I'll run up and fetch it down, if you'll wait." + +He rushed upstairs, two steps at a time, and, flinging open the door of +a cupboard, began desperately to uncloak his Aphrodite. She was lifeless +still, which he considered fortunate. + +But the goddess seemed to have a natural propensity to retain any form +of portable property. One of her arms was so placed that, tug and +stretch as he would, Leander could not get the cloak from her shoulders, +and his efforts only broke one of the oxidized silver fastenings, and +tore part of the squirrel's-fur lining. + +It was useless, and with a damp forehead he came down again to his +expectant _fiancee_. + +"Why, you haven't got it, after all!" she cried, her face falling. + +"Tillie, my own dear girl," he said, "I'm uncommon sorry, upon my soul I +am, but you can't have that cloak this evening." + +"But why, Leander, why?" + +"Because one of the clasps is broke. It must be sent back to be +repaired." + +"I don't mind that. Let me have it just as it is." + +"And the lining's torn. No, Matilda, I shan't make you a present of a +damaged article. I shall send it back. They must change it for me." +("Then," he thought, "I can buy my Matilda another.") + +"I don't care for any other but that," she said; "and you can't match +it." + +"Oh, lor!" he thought, "and she knows every inch of it. The goddess must +give it up; it'll be all the same to _her_. Very well then, dearest, you +_shall_ have that, but not till it's done up. I must have my way in +this; and as soon as ever I can, I'll bring it round." + +"Leander, could you bring it me by Sunday," she said eagerly, "when you +come?" + +"Why Sunday?" he asked. + +"Because--oh, that was the message your aunt asked me to bring you; it +was in a note, but I've lost it. She told me what was inside though, and +it's this. Will you give her the pleasure of your company at her mid-day +dinner at two o'clock, to be introduced to mamma? And she said you were +to be sure and not forget her ring." + +He tottered for a moment. The ring! Yes, there was that to be got off, +too, besides the cloak. + +"Haven't you got the ring from Vidler's yet?" she said. "He's had it +such a time." + +He had told her where he had left it for alterations. "Yes," he said, +"he has had it a time. It's disgraceful the way that old Vidler potters +and potters. I shall go round and 'urry him up. I won't stand it any +longer." + +Here a customer came in, and Matilda slipped away with a hurried +good-bye. + +"I've got till Sunday to get straight," the hairdresser thought, as he +attended on the new comer, "the best part of a week; surely I can talk +that Venus over by that time." + +When he was alone he went up to see her, without losing a moment. He +must have left the door unlocked in his haste, for she was standing +before the low chimney-glass, regarding herself intently. As he came in +she turned. + +[Illustration: SHE WAS STANDING BEFORE THE LOW CHIMNEY-GLASS, REGARDING +HERSELF INTENTLY.] + +"Who has done all this?" she demanded. "Tell me, was it you?" + +"I did take the liberty, mum," he faltered guiltily. + +"You have done well," she said graciously. "With reverent and loving +care have you imparted hues as of life to these cheeks, and decked my +image in robes of costly skins." + +"Don't name it, mum," he said. + +"But what are these?" she continued, raising a hand to the light +ringlets on her brow. "I like them not--they are unseemly. The waving +lines, parted by the bold chisel of a Grecian sculptor, resemble my +ambrosial tresses more nearly than this abomination." + +"You may go all over London," said Leander, "and you won't find a +coiffure, though I say it, to set closer and defy detection more +naturally than the one you've got on; selected from the best imported +foreign hair in the market, I do assure you." + +"I accept the offering for the spirit in which it was presented, though +I approve it not otherwise." + +"You'll find it wear very comfortable," said Leander; "but that cloak, +now I come to see it on, it reely is most unworthy of you, a very +inferior piece of goods, and, if you'll allow me, I'll change it," and +he gently extended his hand to draw it off. + +"Touch it not," said the goddess; "for, having once been placed upon my +effigy, it is consecrated to my service." + +"For mercy's sake, let me get another one--one with more style about +it," he entreated; "my credit hangs on it!" + +"I am content," she said, "more than content. No more words--I retain +it. And you have pleased me by this conduct, my hairdresser. Unknown it +may be, even to yourself, your heart is warming in the sunshine of my +favour; you are coy and wayward, but you are yielding. Though pent in +this form, carved by a mortal hand, I shall prevail in the end. I shall +have you for my own." + +He rumpled his hair wildly, "'Orrid obstinate these goddesses are," he +thought. "What am I to say to Matilda now? If I could only find a way of +getting this statue shut up somewhere where she couldn't come and bother +me, I'd take my chance of the rest. I can't go on with this sort of +thing every evening. I'm sick and tired of it." + +Then something occurred to him. "Could I delude her into it?" he asked +himself. "She's soft enough in some things, and, for all she's a +goddess, she don't seem up to our London ways yet. I'll have a try, +anyway." + +So he began: "Didn't I understand you to observe, mum, some time back, +that the pidgings and sparrers were your birds?" + +"They are mine," she said--"or they were mine in days that are past." + +"Well," he said, "there's a place close by, with railings in front of +it, and steps and pillars as you go in, and if you like to go and look +in the yard there you'll find pidgings enough to set you up again. I +shouldn't wonder if they've been keeping them for you all this time." + +"They shall not lose by it," she said. "Go thither, and bring me my +birds." + +"I think," he said, "it would be better if you'd go yourself; they don't +know me at the British Museum. But if you was to go to the beadle at the +lodge and demand them, I've no doubt you'd be attended to; and you'll +see some parties at the gates in long coats and black cloth 'elmets, +which if you ask them to ketch you a few sparrers, they'll probably be +most happy to oblige." + +"My beloved birds!" she said. "I have been absent from them so long. +Yes, I will go. Tell me where." + +He got his hat, and went with her to a corner of Bloomsbury Square, from +which they could see the railings fronting the Museum in the +steel-tinted haze of electric light. + +"That's the place," he said. "Keeps its own moonshine, you see. Go +straight in, and tell 'em you're come to fetch your doves." + +"I will do so," she said, and strode off in imperious majesty. + +He looked after her with an irrepressible chuckle. + +"If she ain't locked up soon, I don't know myself," he said, and went +back to his establishment. + +He had only just dismissed his apprentice and secured the shop for the +night, when he heard the well-known tread up the staircase. "Back again! +I don't have any luck," he muttered; and with reason, for the statue, +wearing an expression of cold displeasure, advanced into his room. He +felt a certain sense of guilt as he saw her. + +"Got the birds?" he inquired, with a nervous familiarity, "or couldn't +you bring yourself to ask for them?" + +"You have misled me," she said. "My birds are not there. I came to gates +in front of a stately pile--doubtless erected to some god; at the +entrance stood a priest, burly and strong, with gold-embroidered +garments----" + +("The beadle, I suppose," commented Leander.) + +"I passed him unseen, and roamed unhindered over the courtyard. It was +bare, save for one or two worshippers who crossed it. Presently a winged +thing fluttered down to my feet. But though a dove indeed, it was no +bird of mine--it knew me not. And it was draggled, begrimed, uncleanly, +as never were the doves of Aphrodite. And the sparrows (for these, too, +did I see), they were worse. I motioned them from me with loathing. I +renounced them all. Thus, Leander, have I fared in following your +counsels!" + +"Well, it ain't my fault," he said; "it's the London soot makes them +like that. There's some at the Guildhall: perhaps they're cleaner." + +"No," she said, vehemently; "I will seek no further. This is a city of +darkness and mire. I am in a land, an age, which know me not: this much +have I learnt already. The world was fairer and brighter of old!" + +"You see," said Leander, "if you only go about at night, you can't +expect sunshine! But I'm told there's cleaner and brighter places to be +seen abroad--if you cared to go there?" he insinuated. + +"To one place only, to my Cyprian caves, will I go," she declared, "and +with you!" + +"We'll talk about that some other time," he answered, soothingly. "Lady +Venus, look here, don't you think you've kept that ring long enough? +I've asked you civilly enough, goodness knows, to 'and it over, times +without number. I ask you once more to act fair. You know it came to you +quite accidental, and yet you want to take advantage of it like this. It +ain't right!" + +She met this with her usual scornful smile. "Listen, Leander," she said. +"Once before--how long since I know not--a mortal, in sport or accident, +placed his ring as you have done upon the finger of a statue erected to +me. I claimed fulfilment of the pledge then, as now; but a force I +could not withstand was invoked against me, and I was made to give up +the ring, and with it the power and rights I strove to exert. But I will +not again be thwarted: no force, no being shall snatch you from me; so +be not deceived. Submit, ere you excite my fierce displeasure; submit +now, since in the end submit you must!" + +There was a dreadful force in the sonorous tones which made him shiver; +a rigid inflexible will lurked in this form, with all its subtle curves +and feminine grace. If goddesses really retained any power in these +days, there could be no doubt that she would use hers to the full. + +Yet he still struggled. "I can't make you give up the ring," he said; +"but no more you can't make me leave my--my establishment, and go away +underground with you. I'm an Englishman, I am, and Englishmen are free, +mum; p'r'aps you wasn't aware of that? I've got a will of my own, and so +you'll find it!" + +"Poor worm!" she said pityingly (and the hairdresser hated to be +addressed as a poor worm), "why oppose thy weak will to mine? Why enlist +my pride against thyself; for what hast thou of thine own to render thy +conquest desirable? Thou art bent upon defiance, it seems. I leave thee +to reflect if such a combat can be equal. Farewell; and at my next +coming let me find a change!" + +And the spirit of the goddess fled, as before, to the mysterious realms +from which she had been so incautiously evoked, leaving Leander almost +frantic with rage, superstitious terror, and baffled purposes. + +"I must get the ring off," he muttered, "_and_ the cloak, somehow. Oh! +if I could only find out how----There was that other chap--_he_ got off; +she said as much. If I could get out how he managed it, why couldn't I +do the same? But who's to tell me? She won't--not if she knows it! I +wonder if it's in any history. Old Freemoult would know it if it +was--he's such a scholar. Why, he gave me a name for that 'airwash +without having to think twice over it! I'll try and pump old Freemoult. +I'll do it to-morrow, too. I'll see if I'm to be domineered over by a +image out of a tea-garden. Eh? I--I don't care if she _did_ hear me!" + +So Leander went to his troubled pillow, full of this new resolution, +which seemed to promise a way of escape. + + + + +BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND THE DEEP SEA + +VIII. + + "Some, when they take _Revenge_, are Desirous the party should know + whence it cometh: This is the more Generous."--BACON. + + +In the Tottenham Court Road was a certain Commercial Dining-room, where +Leander occasionally took his evening meal, after the conclusion of his +day's work, and where Mr. Freemoult was accustomed to take his supper, +on leaving the British Museum Library. + +To this eating-house Leander repaired the very next evening, urged by a +consuming desire to learn the full particulars of the adventure which +his prototype in misfortune had met with. + +It was an unpretending little place, with the bill of fare wafered to +the door, and red curtains in the windows, setting off a display of +joints, cauliflowers, and red herrings. He passed through into a long, +low room, with dark-brown grained walls, partitioned off in the usual +manner; and taking a seat in a box facing the door, he ordered dinner +from one of the shirtsleeved attendants. + +The first glance had told him that the man he wished to see was not +there, but he knew he must come in before long; and, in fact, before +Leander's food could be brought, the old scholar made his appearance. + +He was hardly a man of attractive exterior, being of a yellow +complexion, with a stubbly chin, and lank iron-grey locks. He wore a +tall and superannuated hat with a staring nap, and the pockets of his +baggy coat bulged with documents. Altogether he did not seem exactly the +person to be an authority on the subject of Venus. + +But, as the hairdresser was aware, he had the reputation of being a mine +of curious and out-of-the-way information, though few thought it worth +their while to work him. He gained a living, however, by hackwork of +various descriptions, and was in slightly better circumstances than he +allowed to appear. + +As he passed slowly along the central passage, in his usual state of +abstraction, Leander touched him eagerly on the sleeve. "Come in 'ere, +Mr. Freemoult, sir," he said; "there's room in this box." + +"It's the barber, is it?" said the old man. "What do you want me to eat +with you for, eh?" + +"Why, for the pleasure of your company, sir, of course," said Leander, +politely. + +"Well," said the old gentleman, sitting down, while documents bristled +out of him in all directions, "there are not many who would say +that--not many now." + +"Don't you say so, Mr. Freemoult, sir. I'm sure it's a benefit, if only +for your conversation. I often say, 'I never meet Mr. Freemoult without +I learn somethink;' I do indeed." + +"Then we must have met less often than I had imagined." + +"Now, you're too modest, sir; you reelly are--a scholar like you, too! +Talking of scholarship, you'll be gratified to hear that that title you +were good enough to suggest for the 'Regenerator' is having a quite +surprising success. I disposed of five bottles over the counter only +yesterday." ("These old scholars," was his wily reflection, "like being +flattered up.") + +"Does that mean you've another beastly bottle you want me to stand +godfather to?" growled the ungrateful old gentleman. + +"Oh no, indeed, sir! It's only----But p'r'aps you'll allow me previously +the honour of sending out for whatever beverage you was thinking of +washing down your boiled beef with, sir." + +"Do you know who I am?" Mr. Freemoult burst out. "I'm a scholar, and +gentleman enough still to drink at my own expense!" + +"I intended no offence, I'm sure, sir; it was only meant in a friendly +way." + +"That is the offence, sir; that _is_ the offence! But, there, we'll say +no more about it; you can't help your profession, and I can't help my +prejudices. What was it you wanted to ask me?" + +"Well," said Leander, "I was desirous of getting some information +respecting--ahem--a party by the name of (if I've caught the foreign +pronounciation) Haphrodite, otherwise known as Venus. Do you happen to +have heard tell of her?" + +"Have I had a classical education, sir, or haven't I? Heard of her? Of +course I have. But why, in the name of Mythology, any hairdresser living +should trouble his head about Aphrodite, passes my comprehension. Leave +her alone, sir!" + +"It's her who won't leave _me_ alone!" thought Leander; but he did not +say so. "I've a very particular reason for wishing to know; and I'm sure +if you could tell me all you'd heard about her, I'd take it very kind of +you." + +"Want to pick my brains; well, you wouldn't be the first. But I am +here, sir, to rest my brain and refresh my body, not to deliver +peripatetic lectures to hairdressers on Grecian mythology." + +"Well," said Leander, "I never meant you to give your information +peripatetic; I'm willing to go as far as half a crown." + +"Conf----But, there, what's the good of being angry with you? Is this +the sort of thing you want for your half-crown?--Aphrodite, a later form +of the Assyrian Astarte; the daughter, according to some theogonies, of +Zeus and Dione; others have it that she was the offspring of the foam of +the sea, which gathered round the fragments of the mutilated Uranos----" + +"That don't seem so likely, do it, sir?" said Leander. + +"If you are going to crop in with idiotic remarks, I shall confine +myself to my supper." + +"Don't stop, Mr. Freemoult, sir; it's most instructive. I'm attending." + +But the old gentleman, after a manner he had, was sunk in a dreamy +abstraction for the moment, in which he apparently lost the thread, as +he resumed, "Whereupon Zeus, to punish her, gave her in wedlock to his +deformed son, Hephaestus." + +"She never mentioned him to _me_," thought Leander; "but I suppose she's +a widow goddess by this time; I'm sure I _hope_ so." + +"Whom," Mr. Freemoult was saying, "she deceived upon several occasions, +notably in the case of ----" And here he launched into a scandalous +chronicle, which determined Leander more than ever that Matilda must +never know he had entertained a personage with such a past. + +"Angered by her indiscretions, Zeus inspired her with love for a mortal +man." + +"Poor devil!" said Leander, involuntarily. "And what became of _him_, +sir?" + +"There were several thus distinguished; amongst others, Anchises, +Adonis, and Cinyras. Of these, the first was struck by lightning; the +second slain by a wild boar; and the third is reputed to have perished +in a contest with Apollo." + +"They don't seem to have had no luck, any of them," was Leander's +depressed conclusion. + +"Aphrodite, or Venus, as you choose to call her, took a prominent part +in the Trojan war, the origin of which ten years' struggle may be traced +to a certain golden apple." + +"What an old rag-bag it is!" thought Leander. "I'm only wasting money on +him. He's like a bran-pie at a fancy fair: what you get out of him is +always the thing you didn't want." + +"No, no, Mr. Freemoult," he said, with some impatience; "leave out about +the war and the apple. It--it isn't either of them as I wanted to hear +about." + +"Then I have done," said the old man, curtly. "You've had considerably +more than half a crown's worth, as it is." + +"Look here, Mr. Freemoult," said the reckless hairdresser, "if you can't +give me no better value, I don't mind laying out another sixpence in +questions." + +"Put your questions, then, by all means; and I'll give you your fair +sixpenn'orth of answers. Now, then, I'm ready for you. What's your +difficulty? Out with it." + +"Why," said Leander, in no small confusion, "isn't there a story +somewhere of a statue to Venus as some young man (a long time back it +was, of course) was said to have put his ring on? and do you know the +rights of it? I--I can't remember how it ended, myself." + +"Wait a bit, sir; I think I do remember something of the legend you +refer to. You found it in the _Earthly Paradise_, I make no doubt?" + +"I found it in Rosherwich Gardens," Leander very nearly blurted out; but +he stopped himself, and said instead, "I don't think I've ever been +there, sir; not to remember it." + +"Well, well! you're no lover of poetry, that's very evident; but the +story is there. Yes, yes; and Burton has a version of it, too, in his +_Anatomy_. How does it go? Give my head a minute to clear, and I'll tell +you. Ha! I have it! It was something like this: There was a certain +young gentleman of Rome who, on his wedding-day, went out to play +tennis; and in the tennis-court was a brass statue of the goddess +Venus----" + +("Mine _ought_ to be brass, from her goings on," thought Leander.) + +"And while he played he took off his finger-ring and put it upon the +statue's hand; a mighty foolish act, as you will agree." + +"Ah!" said Leander, shaking his head; "you may say that! What next, +sir?" He became excited to find that he really was on the right track at +last. + +"Why, when the game was over, and he came to get his ring, he found he +couldn't get it off again. Ha! ha!" and the old man chuckled softly, and +then relapsed once more into silence. + +"Yes, yes, Mr. Freemoult, sir! I'm a-listening; it's very funny; only do +go on!" + +"Go on? Where was I? Hadn't I finished? Ah, to be sure! Well, so Paris +gave _her_ the apple, you see." + +"I didn't understand you to allude to no apple," said his puzzled +hearer; "and it was at Rome, I thought, not Paris. Bring your mind more +to it, sir; we'd got to the ring not coming off the statue." + +"I know, sir; I know. My mind's clear enough, let me tell you. That very +night (as I was about to say, if you'd had patience to hear me) Venus +stepped in and parted the unfortunate pair----" + +"It was a apple just now, you aggravating old muddle 'ed!" said Leander, +internally. + +"Venus informed the young man that he had betrothed himself to her by +that ring" ("Same game exactly," thought the pupil), "and--and, in +short, she led him such a life for some nights, that he could bear it no +longer. So at length he repaired to a certain mighty magician +called----Let me see, what was his name again? It wasn't Agrippa--was it +Albertus? Odd; it has escaped me for the moment." + +"Never mind, sir; call him Jones." + +"I will _not_ call him Jones, sir! I had it on my tongue--there, +_Palumbus_! Palumbus it was. Well, Palumbus told him the goddess would +never cease to trouble him, unless he could get back the ring--unless he +could get back the ring." + +Leander's heart began to beat high; the solution of his difficulty was +at hand. It was something to know for certain that upon recovery of the +ring the goddess's power would be at an end. It only remained to find +out how the other young man managed it. "Yes, Mr. Freemoult?" he said +interrogatively; for the old gentleman had run down again. + +"I was only thinking it out. To resume, then. No sooner had the magician +(whose name as I said was Apollonius) come to the wedding, than he +promptly conjectured the bride to be a serpent; whereupon she vanished +incontinently, after the manner of serpents, with the house and +furniture." + +"Haven't you missed out a lot, sir?" inquired Leander, deferentially; +"because it don't seem to me to hook on quite. What became of Venus and +the ring?" + +"How the dickens am I to tell you, if you will interrupt? Ring! _What_ +ring? Why, yes; the magician gave the young man a certain letter, and +told him to go to a particular cross-road outside the city, at dead of +night, and wait for Saturn to pass by in procession, with his fallen +associates. This he did, and presented the magician's letter; which +Saturn, after having read, called Venus to him, who was riding in front, +and commanded her to deliver up the ring." + +Here he stopped, as if he had nothing to add. + +"And did she, sir?" asked Leander, breathlessly. + +"Did she what? give up the ring? Of course she did. Haven't I been +saying so? Why not?" + +"Well," observed Leander, "so that's how _he_ got out of it, was it? +Hah! he was a lucky chap. Those were the days when magicians did a good +trade, I suppose? Should you say there were any such parties now, on the +quiet like, eh, sir?" + +"Bah! Magic is a lost art, degraded to dark seances and juvenile +parties--the last magician dead for more than two hundred years. Don't +expose your ignorance, sir, by any more such questions." + +"No," said Leander; "I thought as much. And so, if any one was to get +into such a fix nowadays--of course, that's only my talk, but if they +did--there ain't a practising magician anywhere to help him out of it. +That's your opinion, ain't it, sir?" + +"As the danger of such a contingency is not immediate," was the reply, +"the want of a remedy need not, in my humble opinion, cause you any +grave uneasiness." + +"No," agreed Leander, dejectedly. "I don't care, of course. I was only +thinking that, in case--but there, it's no odds! Well, Mr. Freemoult, +you've told me what I was curious to know, and here's your little +honnyrarium, sir--two shillings and two sixpences, making three +shillings in all, pre-cisely." + +"Keep your money, sir," said the old man, with contemptuous good humour. +"My working hours are done for the day, and you're welcome enough to any +instruction you're capable of receiving from my remarks. It's not saying +much, I dare say." + +"Oh, you told it very clear, considering, sir, I'm sure! I don't grudge +it." + +"Keep it, I tell you, and say no more about it." + +So, expressing his thanks, Leander left the place; and, when he was +outside, felt more keenly than ever the blow his hopes had sustained. + +He knew the whole story of his predecessor in misfortune now, and, as a +precedent, it was worse than useless. + +True, for an instant a wild idea had crossed his mind, of seeking some +lonely suburban cross-road at dead of night, just to see if anything +came of it. "The last time was several hundred years ago, it seems," he +told himself; "but there's no saying that Satan mightn't come by, for +all that. Here's Venus persecuting as lively as ever, and I never heard +the devil was dead. I've a good mind to take the tram to the Archway, +and walk out till I find a likely-looking place." + +But, on reflection, he gave this up. "If he did come by, I couldn't +bring him a line--not even from the conjuror in High 'Oborn--and Satan +might make me put my hand to something binding, and I shouldn't be no +better off. No; I don't see no way of getting back my ring and poor +Tillie's cloak, nor yet getting rid of that goddess, any more than +before. There's one comfort, I can't be any worse off than I am." + +Oppressed by these gloomy reflections, he returned to his home, +expecting a renewal of his nightly persecution from the goddess; but +from some cause, into which he was too grateful to care to inquire, the +statue that evening showed no sign of life in his presence, and after +waiting with the cupboard open for some time in suspense, he ventured to +make himself some coffee. + +He had scarcely tasted it, however, before he heard, from the passage +below, a low whistle, followed by the peculiar stave by which a modern +low-life Blondel endeavours to attract attention. The hairdresser paid +no attention, being used, as a Londoner, to hearing such signals, and +not imagining they could be intended for his ear. + +But presently a handful of gravel rattled against his window, and the +whistle was repeated. He went to the window cautiously, and looked out. +Below were two individuals, rather carefully muffled; their faces, which +were only indistinctly seen, were upturned to him. + +He retreated, trembling. He had had so much to think of lately, that the +legal danger he was running, by harbouring the detested statue, was +almost forgotten; but now he remembered the Inspector's words, and his +legs bent beneath him. Could these people be _detectives_? + +"Is that Mr. Tweddle up there?" said a voice below--"because if it is, +he'd better come down, double quick, and let us in, that's all!" + +"'Ere, don't you skulk up there!" added a coarser voice. "We know +y'er there; and if yer don't come down to us, why, we'll come up to +you!" + +This brought Leander forward again. "Gentlemen," he said, leaning out, +and speaking in an agitated whisper, "for goodness' sake, what do you +want with me?" + +"You let us in, and we'll tell you." + +"Will it do if I come down and speak to you outside?" said Leander. + +There was a consultation between the two at this, and at the end of it +the first man said: "It's all the same to us, where we have our little +confabulation. Come down, and look sharp about it!" + +Leander came down, taking care to shut the street door behind him. "You +ain't the police?" he said, apprehensively. + +They each took an arm, and walked him roughly off between them towards +Queen Square. "We'll show you who we are," they said. + +"I--I demand your authority for this," gasped Leander. "What am I +charged with?" + +They had brought him into the gloomiest part of the square, where the +houses, used as offices in the daytime, were now dark and deserted. Here +they jammed him up against the railings, and stood guard over him, while +he was alarmed to perceive a suppressed ferocity in the faces of both. + +"What are you charged with? Grr----! For 'arf a pint I'd knock your +bloomin 'ed in!" said the coarser gentleman of the two--an evasive form +of answer which did not seem to promise a pleasant interview. + +[Illustration: "FOR 'ARF A PINT I'D KNOCK YOUR BLOOMIN' 'ED IN!"] + +Leander was not naturally courageous, and what he had gone through +lately had shaken his nerves. He thought that, for policemen, they +showed too strong a personal feeling; but who else could they be? He +could not remember having seen either of them before. One was a tall, +burly, heavy-jawed man; the other smaller and slighter, and apparently +the superior of the two in education and position. + +"You don't remember me, I see," said the latter; and then suddenly +changing his tone to a foreign accent, he said: "Haf you been since to +drink a glass of beer at your open-air gardens at Rosherwich?" + +Leander knew him then. It was his foreign customer of Monday evening. +His face was clean-shaven now, and his expression changed--not for the +better. + +"I think," he said, faintly, "I had the privilege of cutting your 'air +the other evening." + +"You did, my friend, and I admired your taste for the fine arts. This +gentleman and I have, on talking it over, been so struck by what I saw +that evening, that we ventured to call and inquire into it." + +"Look 'ere, Count," said his companion, "there ain't time for all that +perliteness. You leave him to me; _I'll_ talk to him! Now then, you +white-livered little airy-sneak, do you know who we are?" + +"No," said Leander; "and, excuse me calling of your attention to it, but +you're pinching my arm!" + +"I'll pinch it off before I've done," said the burly man. "Well, we're +the men that have planned and strived, and run all the risk, that you +and your gang might cut in and carry off our honest earnings. You +infernal little hair-cutting shrimp, you! To think of being beaten by +the likes of you! It's sickening, that's what it is, sickening!" + +"I don't understand you--as I live, gentlemen, I don't understand you!" +pleaded Leander. + +"You understand us well enough," said the ex-foreigner, with an awful +imprecation on all Leander's salient features; "but you shall have it +all in black and white. We're the party that invented and carried out +that little job at Wricklesmarsh Court." + +"Burglars! Do you mean you're burglars?" cried the terrified Leander. + +"We started as burglars, but we've finished by being made cat's-paws +of--by you, curse you! You didn't think we should find you out, did you? +But if you wanted to keep us in the dark, you made two awkward little +slips: one was leaving your name and address at the gardens as the party +who was supposed to have last seen the statue, and the other was keeping +the said statue standing about in your hair-cutting room, to meet the +eye of any gentleman calling out of curiosity, and never expecting such +a find as that." + +"What's the good of jawing at him, Count? That won't satisfy me, it +won't. 'Ere, I can't 'old myself off him any longer. I _must_ put a 'ed +on him." + +But the other interposed. "Patience, my good Braddle. No violence. Leave +him to me; he's a devilish deep fellow, and deserves all respect." (Here +he shook Leander like a rat.) "You've stolen a march on us, you +condemned little hairdressing ape, you! How did you do it? Out with it! +How the devil did you do it?" + +"For the love of heaven, gents," pleaded Leander, without reflecting +that he might have found a stronger inducement, "don't use violence! How +did I do _what_?" + +"Count, I _can't_ answer for myself," said the man addressed as Braddle. +"I shall send a bullet into him if you don't let me work it off with +fists; I know I shall!" + +"Keep quiet," said his superior, sternly. "Don't you see _I'm_ quiet?" +and he twisted his knuckles viciously into Leander's throat. "If you +call out you're a corpse!" + +"I wasn't thinking of calling out, indeed I wasn't. I'm quite satisfied +with being where I am," said Leander, "if you'd only leave me a little +more room to choke in, and tell me what I've done to put you both in +such tremenjous tempers." + +"Done? You cur, when yer know well enough you've taken the bread out of +our mouths--the bread we'd earned! D'ye suppose we left out that statue +in the gardens for the like of you? Who put you up to it? How many were +there in it? What do you mean to do now you've got it? Speak out, or I +swear I'll cut your heart out, and throw it over the railings for the +tom-cats; I will, you ----!" + +The man called Braddle, as he uttered this threat, looked so very +anxious to execute it, that Leander gave himself up for lost. + +"As true as I stand here, gentlemen, I didn't steal that statue." + +"I doubt you're not the build for taking the lead in that sort of +thing," said the Count; "but you were in it. You went down that Saturday +as a blind. Deny it if you dare." + +Leander did not dare. "I could not help myself, gentlemen," he faltered. + +"Who said you could? And you can't help yourself now, either; so make a +clean breast of it. Who are you standing in with? Is it Potter's lot?" + +If Leander had declared himself to be alone, things might have gone +harder with him, and they certainly would never have believed him; so he +said it _was_ Potter's lot. + +"I told you Potter was after that marble, and you wouldn't have it, +Count," growled Braddle. "Now you're satisfied." + +The Count comprised Potter and his lot in a new and original malediction +by way of answer, and then said to Leander, "Did Potter tell you to let +that Venus stand where all the world might see it?" + +"I had no discretion," said the hairdresser. "I'm not responsible, +indeed, gents." + +"No discretion! I should think you hadn't. Nor Potter either, acting the +dog in the manger like this. Where'll _he_ find his market for it, eh? +What orders have you got? When are you going to get it across?" + +"I've no notions. I haven't received no directions," said Leander. + +"A nice sort o' mug you are to be trusted with a job like this," said +Braddle. "I did think Potter was better up in his work, I did. A pretty +bungle he'll make of it!" + +"It would serve him right, for interfering with fellow-professionals in +this infernal unprincipled manner. But he shan't have the chance, +Braddle, he shan't have the chance; we'll steal a march on him this +time." + +"Is the coast clear yet?" said Braddle. + +"We must risk it. We shall find a route for it, never fear," was the +reply. "Now, you cursed hairdresser, you listen to what I'm going to +tell you. That Venus is our lawful property, and, by ----, we mean to +get her into our hands again. D'ye hear that?" + +Leander heard, and with delight. So long as he could once get free from +the presence of the statue, and out of the cross-fire of burglars and +police, he was willing by this time to abandon the cloak and ring. + +"I can truly say, I hope you'll be successful, gents," he replied. + +"We don't want your hopes, we want your help. You must round on +Potter." + +"Must I, gents?" said Leander. "Well, to oblige you, whatever it costs +me, I _will_ round on Potter." + +"Take care you stick to that," said Braddle. "The next pint, Count, is +'ow we're to get her." + +"Come in and take her away now," said Leander, eagerly. "She'll be +quiet. I--I mean the _house_'ll be quiet now. You'll be very welcome, I +assure you. _I_ won't interfere." + +"You're a bright chap to go in for a purfession like ours," said Mr. +Braddle, with intense disgust. "How do yer suppose we're to do it--take +her to pieces, eh, and bring her along in our pockets? Do you think +we're flats enough to run the chance of being seen in the streets by a +copper, lugging that 'ere statue along?" + +"We must have the light cart again, and a sack," said the Count. "It's +too late to-night." + +"And it ain't safe in the daytime," said Braddle. "We're wanted for that +job at Camberwell, that puts it on to-morrow evening. But suppose Potter +has fixed the same time." + +"Here, _you_ know. Has Potter fixed the same time?" the Count demanded +from Leander. + +"No," said Leander; "Potter ain't said nothing to me about moving her." + +"Then are you man enough to undertake Potter, if he starts the idea? +_Are_ you? Come!" + +"Yes, gents, I'll manage Potter. You break in any time after midnight, +and I engage you shall find the Venus on the premises." + +"But we want more than that of you, you know. We mustn't lose any time +over this job. You must be ready at the door to let us in, and bear a +hand with her down to the cart." + +But this did not suit Leander's views at all. He was determined to +avoid all personal risks; and to be caught helping the burglars to carry +off the Aphrodite would be fatal. + +He was recovering his presence of mind. As his tormentors had sensibly +relaxed, he was able to take steps for his own security. + +"I beg pardon, gents," he said, "but I don't want to appear in this +myself. There's Potter, you see; he's a hawful man to go against. You +know what Potter is, yourselves." (Potter was really coming in quite +usefully, he began to think.) + +"Well, I don't suppose Potter would make more bones about slitting your +throat than we should, if he knew you'd played him false," said the +Count. "But we can't help that; in a place like this it's too risky to +break in, when we can be let in." + +"If you'll only excuse me taking an active part," said Leander, "it's +all I ask. This is my plan, gentlemen. You see that little archway +there, where my finger points? Well, that leads by a small alley to a +yard, back of my saloon. You can leave your cart here, and come round as +safe as you please. I'll have the winder in my saloon unfastened, and +put the statue where you can get her easy; but I don't want to be mixed +up in it further than that." + +"That seems fair enough," said the Count, "provided you keep to it." + +"But suppose it's a plant?" growled Braddle. "Suppose he's planning to +lay a trap for us? Suppose we get in, to find Potter and his lot on the +look-out for us, or break into a house that's full of bloomin' coppers?" + +"I did think of that; but I believe our friend knows that if he doesn't +act square with me, his life isn't worth a bent pin; and besides, he +can't warn the police without getting himself into more or less hot +water. So I think he'll see the wisdom of doing what he's told." + +"I do," said Leander, "I do, gentlemen. I'd sooner die than deceive +you." + +"Well," said the Count, "you'd find it come to the same thing." + +"No," added Braddle. "If you blow the gaff on us, my bloomin', I'll saw +that pudden head of yours right off your shoulders, and swing for it, +cheerful!" + +Leander shuddered. Amongst what desperate ruffians had his unlucky stars +led him! How would it all end, he wondered feebly--how? + +"Well, gentlemen," he said, with his teeth chattering, "if you don't +want me any more, I'll go in; and I'm to expect you to-morrow evening, I +believe?" + +"Expect us when you 'ear us," said Braddle; "and if you make fools of us +again----" And he described consequences which exceeded in +unpleasantness the worst that Leander could have imagined. + +The poor man tottered back to his room again, in a most unenviable frame +of mind; not even the prospect of being delivered from the goddess could +reconcile him to the price he must pay for it. He was going to take a +plunge into downright crime now; and if his friend the inspector came to +hear of it, ruin must follow. And, in any case, the cloak and the ring +would be gone beyond recovery, while these cut-throat housebreakers +would henceforth have a hold over him; they might insist upon steeping +him in blacker crime still, and he knew he would never have the courage +to resist. + +As he thought of the new difficulties and dangers that compassed him +round about, he was frequently on the verge of tears, and his couch +that night was visited by dreadful dreams, in which he sought audience +of the Evil One himself at cross-roads, was chased over half London by +police, and dragged over the other half by burglars, to be finally +flattened by the fall of Aphrodite. + + + + +AT LAST + +IX. + + "Does not the stone rebuke me + For being more stone than it?" + + _Winter's Tale._ + + "Yet did he loath to see the image fair, + White and unchanged of face, unmoved of limb!" + + _Earthly Paradise._ + + +Leander's hand was very tremulous all the next day, as several indignant +clients discovered, and he closed as early as he could, feeling it +impossible to attend to business under the circumstances. + +About seven o'clock he went up to his sitting-room. A difficult and +ungrateful task was before him. To facilitate her removal, he must +persuade the goddess to take up a position in the saloon for the night; +and, much as he had suffered from her, there was something traitorous in +delivering her over to these coarse burglars. + +He waited until the statue showed signs of returning animation, and then +said, "Good evening, mum," more obsequiously than usual. + +She never deigned to notice or return his salutations. "Hairdresser," +she said abruptly, "I am weary of this sordid place." + +He was pleased, for it furthered his views. "It isn't so sordid in the +saloon, where you stood the other evening, you know," he replied. "Will +you step down there?" + +"Bah!" she said, "it is _all_ sordid. Leander, a restlessness has come +upon me. I come back night after night out of the vagueness in which I +have lain so long, and for what? To stand here in this mean chamber and +proffer my favour, only to find it repulsed, disdained. I am tired of +it--tired!" + +"You can't be more tired of it than I am!" he said. + +"I ask myself," she went on, "why, having, through your means, ascended +once more to the earth, which I left so fair, I seek not those things +which once delighted me. This city of yours--all that I have seen of +it--revolts me; but it is vast, vaster than those built by the mortals +of old. Surely somewhere there must be brightness in it and beauty, and +the colour and harmony by which men knew once to delight the gods +themselves. It cannot be that the gods of old are all forgotten; surely, +somewhere there yet lingers a little band of faithful ones, who have not +turned from Aphrodite." + +"I can't say, I'm sure," said Leander; "I could inquire for you." + +"I myself will seek for them," she said proudly. "I will go forth this +very night." + +Leander choked. "To-night!" he cried. "You _can't_ go to-night." + +"You forget yourself," she returned haughtily. + +"If I let you go," he said hesitatingly, "will you promise faithfully to +be back in half an hour?" + +"Do you not yet understand that you have to do with a goddess--with +Aphrodite herself?" she said. "Who are you, to presume to fetter me by +your restrictions? Truly, the indulgence I have shown has turned your +weak brain." + +He put his back against the door. He was afraid of the goddess, but he +was still more afraid of the burglars' vengeance if they arrived to find +the prize missing. + +"I'm sorry to disoblige a lady," he said; "but you don't go out of this +house to-night." + +In another minute he was lying in the fender amongst the +fireirons--alone! How it was done he was too stunned to remember; but +the goddess was gone. If she did not return by midnight, what would +become of him? If he had only been civil to her, she might have stayed; +but now she had abandoned him to certain destruction! + +A kind of fatalistic stupor seized him. He would not run away--he would +have to come home some time--nor would he call in the police, for he had +a very vivid recollection of Mr. Braddle's threat in such a contingency. + +He went, instead, into the dark saloon, and sat down in a chair to wait. +He wondered how he could explain the statue's absence. If he told the +burglars it had gone for a stroll, they would tear him limb from limb. +"I was so confoundedly artful about Potter," he thought bitterly, "that +they'll never believe now I haven't warned him!" + +At every sound outside he shook like a leaf; the quarters, as they +sounded from the church clock, sank like cold weights upon his heart. +"If only Venus would come back first!" he moaned; but the statue never +returned. + +At last he heard steps--muffled ones--on the paved alley outside. He had +forgotten to leave the window unfastened, after all, and he was too +paralysed to do it now. + +The steps were in the little yard, or rather a sort of back area, +underneath the window. "It may be only a constable," he tried to say to +himself; but there is no mistaking the constabulary tread, which is not +fairy-like, or even gentle, like that he heard. + +A low whistle destroyed his last hope. In a quite unpremeditated manner +he put out the gas and rolled under a leather divan which stood at the +end of the room. He wished now, with all his heart, that he had run away +while he had the chance; but it was too late. + +"I hope they'll do it with a revolver, and not a knife," he thought. +"Oh, my poor Matilda! you little know what I'm going through just now, +and what'll be going through _me_ in another minute!" + +A hoarse voice under the window called out, "Tweddle!" + +He lay still. "None o' that, yer skulker; I know yer there!" said the +voice again. "Do yer want to give me the job o' coming after yer?" + +After all, Leander reflected, there was the window and a thick +half-shutter between them. It might be best not to provoke Mr. Braddle +at the outset. He came half out of his hiding-place. "Is that you, Mr. +Braddle?" he quavered. + +"Ah!" said the voice, affirmatively. "Is this what you call being ready +for us? Why, the bloomin' winder ain't even undone!" + +"That's what I'm here for," said poor Leander. "Is the--the other +gentleman out there too?" + +"You mind your business! You'll find something the Count give me to +bring yer; I've put it on the winder-sill out 'ere. And you obey horders +next time, will yer?" + +The footsteps were heard retreating. Mr. Braddle was apparently going +back to fetch his captain. Leander let down the shutter, and opened the +window. He could not see, but he could feel a thick, rough bundle lying +on the window-sill. + +He drew this in, slammed down the window, and ran up the shutter in a +second, before the two could have had time to discover him. + +"Now," he thought, "I _will_ run for it;" and he groped his way out of +the dark saloon to the front shop, where he paused, and, taking a match +from his pocket, struck a light. His parcel proved to be rough +sackcloth, on the outside of which a paper was pinned. + +Why did the Count write, when he was coming in directly? Curiosity made +him linger even then to ascertain this. The paper contained a hasty +scrawl in blue chalk. "_Not to-night_," he read; "_arrangements still +uncomplete. Expect us to-morrow night without fail, and see that +everything is prepared. Cloth sent with this for packing goods. P---- +laid up with professional accident, and safe for a week or two. You must +have known this--why not say so last night? No trifling, if you value +life!_" + +It was a reprieve--at the last moment! He had a whole day before him for +flight, and he fully intended to flee this time; those hours of suspense +in the saloon were too terrible to be gone through twice. + +But as he was turning out his cashbox, and about to go upstairs and +collect a few necessaries, he heard a well-known tread outside. He ran +to the door, which he unfastened with trembling hands, and the statue, +with the hood drawn closely round her strange painted face, passed in +without seeming to heed his presence. + +She had come back to him. Why should he run away now, when, if he waited +one more night, he might be rescued from one of his terrors by means of +the other? + +"Lady Venus!" he cried hysterically. "Oh, Lady Venus, mum, I thought you +was gone for ever!" + +"And you have grieved?" she said almost tenderly. "You welcome my return +with joy! Know then, Leander, that I myself feel pleasure in returning, +even to such a roof as this; for little gladness have I had from my +wanderings. Upon no altar did I see my name shine, nor the perfumed +flame flicker; the Lydian measures were silent, and the praise of +Cytherea. And everywhere I went I found the same senseless troubled +haste, and pale mean faces of men, and squalor, and tumult. Grace and +joyousness have fled--even from your revelry! But I have seen your new +gods, and understand: for, all grimy and mis-shapen and uncouth are they +as they stand in your open places and at the corners of your streets. +Zeus, what a place must Olympus now be! And can any men worship such +monsters, and be gladsome?" + +Leander did not perceive the very natural mistake into which the goddess +had fallen; but the fact was, that she had come upon some of our justly +renowned public statues. + +"I'm sorry you haven't enjoyed yourself, mum," was all he could find to +say. + +"Should I linger in such scenes were it not for you?" she cried +reproachfully. "How much longer will you repulse me?" + +"That depends on you, mum," he ventured to observe. + +"Ah! you are cold!" she said reproachfully; "yet surely I am worthy of +the adoration of the proudest mortal. Judge me not by this marble +exterior, cunningly wrought though it be. Charms are mine, more dazzling +than any your imagination can picture; and could you surrender your +being to my hands, I should be able to show myself as I really +am--supreme in loveliness and majesty!" + +Unfortunately, the hairdresser's imagination was not his strongest +point. He could not dissociate the goddess from the marble shape she had +assumed, and that shape he was not sufficiently educated to admire; he +merely coughed now in a deferential manner. + +"I perceive that I cannot move you," she said. "Men have grown strangely +stubborn and impervious. I leave you, then, to your obstinacy; only take +heed lest you provoke me at last to wrath, for my patience is well-nigh +at an end!" + +And she was gone, and the bedizened statue stood there, staring hardly +at him with the eyes his own hand had given her. + +"This has been the most trying evening I've had yet," he thought. "Thank +my stars, if all goes well, I shall get rid of her by this time +to-morrow!" + +The next day passed uneventfully enough, though the unfortunate +Leander's apprehensions increased with every hour. As before, he closed +early, got his apprentice safely off the premises, and sat down to wait +in his saloon. He knew that the statue (which he had concealed during +the day behind a convenient curtain) would probably recover +consciousness for some part of the evening, as it had rarely failed to +do, and prudence urged him to keep an eye over the proceedings of his +tormentress. + +To his horror, Aphrodite's first words, after awaking, expressed her +intention of repeating the search for homage and beauty, which had been +so unsuccessful the night before! + +"Seek not to detain me, Leander," she said; "for, goddess as I am, I am +drooping under this persistent obduracy. Somewhere beyond this murky +labyrinth, it may be that I shall find a shrine where I am yet +honoured. I will go forth, and never rest till I have found it, and my +troubled spirits are revived by the incense for which I have languished +so long. I am weary of abasing myself to such a contemptuous mortal, nor +will I longer endure such indignity. Stand back, and open the gates for +me! Why do you not obey?" + +He knew now that to attempt force would be useless; and yet if she left +him this time, he must either abandon all that life held for him, and +fly to distant parts from the burglars' vengeance--or remain to meet a +too probable doom! + +He fell on his knees before her. "Oh, Lady Venus," he entreated, "don't +leave me! I beg and implore you not to! If you do, you will kill me! I +give you my honest word you will!" + +The statue's face seemed irradiated by a sudden joy. She paused, and +glanced down with an approving smile upon the kneeling figure at her +feet. + +"Why did you not kneel to me before?" she said. + +[Illustration: "WHY DID YOU NOT KNEEL TO ME BEFORE?"] + +"Because I never thought of it," said the hairdresser, honestly; "but +I'll stay on my knees for hours, if only you won't go!" + +"But what has made you thus eager, thus humble?" she said, half in +wonder and half in suspicion. "Can it be, that the spark I have sought +to kindle in your breast is growing to a flame at last? Leander, can +this thing be?" + +He saw that she was gratified, that she desired to be assured that this +was indeed so. + +"I shouldn't be surprised if something like that was going on inside of +me," he said encouragingly. + +"Answer me more frankly," she said. "Do you wish me to remain with +you because you have learnt to love my presence?" + +It was a very embarrassing position for him. All depended upon his +convincing the goddess of his dawning love, and yet, for the life of +him, he could not force out the requisite tenderness; his imagination +was unequal to the task. + +Another and a more creditable feeling helped to tie his tongue--a sense +of shame at employing such a subterfuge in order to betray the goddess +into the lawless hands of these housebreakers. However, she must be +induced to stay by some means. + +"Well," he said sheepishly, "you don't give me a chance to love you, if +you go wandering out every evening, do you?" + +She gave a low cry of triumph. "It has come!" she exclaimed. "What are +clouds of incense, flowers, and homage, to this? Be of good heart; I +will stay, Leander. Fear not, but speak the passion which consumes you!" + +He became alarmed. He was anxious not to commit himself, and yet employ +the time until the burglars might be expected. + +"The fact is," he confessed, "it hasn't gone so far as that yet--it's +beginning; all it wants is _time_, you know--time, and being let alone." + +"All Time will be before us, when once your lips have pronounced the +words of surrender, and our spirits are transported together to the +enchanted isle." + +"You talk about me going over to this isle--this Cyprus," he said; "but +it's a long journey, and I can't afford it. How _you_ come and go, I +don't know; but I've not been brought up to it myself. I can't flash +across like a telegram!" + +"Trust all to me," she said. "Is not your love strong enough for that?" + +"Not quite yet," he answered; "it's coming on. Only, you see, it's a +serious step to take, and I naturally wish to feel my way. I declare, +the more I gaze upon the--the elegant form and figger which I see before +me, the stronger and the more irresistible comes over me a burning +desire to think the whole thing carefully over. And if you only allowed +me a little longer to gaze (I've no time to myself except in the +evenings), I don't think it would be long before this affair reached a +'appy termination--I don't indeed!" + +"Gaze, then," she said, smiling--"gaze to your soul's content." + +"I mean no offence," he represented, having felt his way to a stroke of +supreme cunning, "but when I feel there's a goddess inside of this +statue, I don't know how it is exactly, but it puts me off. I can't fix +my thoughts; the--the passion don't ferment as it ought. If, supposing +now, you was to withdraw yourself and leave me the statue? I could gaze +on it, and think of thee, and Cyprus, and all the rest of it, more +comfortable, so to speak, than what I can when you're animating of it, +and making me that nervous, words can't describe it!" + +He hardly dared to hope that so lame and transparent a device would +succeed with her; but, as he had previously found, there was a certain +spice of credulity and simplicity in her nature, which made it possible +to impose upon her occasionally. + +"It may be so," she said. "I overawe thee, perchance?" + +"Very much so," said he, promptly. "You don't intend it, I know; but +it's a fact." + +"I will leave you to meditate upon the charms so faintly shadowed in +this image, remembering that whatever of loveliness you find herein will +be multiplied ten thousand-fold in the actual Aphrodite! Remain, then; +ponder and gaze--and love!" + +He waited for a little while after the statue was silent, and then took +up the sacking left for him by Braddle; twice he attempted to throw it +over the marble, and twice he recoiled. "It's no use," he said, "I can't +do it; they must do it themselves!" + +He carefully unfastened the window at the back of his saloon, and, +placing the statue in the centre of the floor, turned out the gas, and +with a beating heart stole upstairs to his bedroom, where (with his door +bolted) he waited anxiously for the arrival of his dreaded deliverers. + +He scarcely knew how long he had been there, for a kind of waking dream +had come upon him, in which he was providing the statue with light +refreshment in the shape of fancy pebbles and liquid cement, when the +long, low whistle, faintly heard from the back of the house, brought him +back to his full senses. + +The burglars had come! He unbolted the door and stole out to the top of +the crazy staircase, intending to rush back and bolt himself in if he +heard steps ascending; and for some minutes he strained his ears, +without being able to catch a sound. + +At last he heard the muffled creak of the window, as it was thrown up. +They were coming in! Would they, or would they not, be inhuman enough to +force him to assist them in the removal? + +They were still in the saloon; he heard them trampling about, moving the +furniture with unnecessary violence, and addressing one another in tones +that were not caressing. Now they were carrying the statue to the +window; he heard their labouring breath and groans of exertion under the +burden. + +Another pause. He stole lower down the staircase, until he was outside +his sitting-room, and could hear better. There! that was the thud as +they leapt out on the flagged yard. A second and heavier thud--the +goddess! How would they get her over the wall? Had they brought steps, +ropes, or what? No matter; they knew their own business, and were not +likely to have forgotten anything. But how long they were about it! +Suppose a constable were to come by and see the cart! + +There were sounds at last; they were scaling the wall--floundering, +apparently; and no wonder, with such a weight to hoist after them! More +thuds; and then the steps of men staggering slowly, painfully away. The +steps echoed louder from under the archway, and then died away in +silence. + +Could they be really gone? He dared not hope so, and remained shivering +in his sitting-room for some minutes; until, gaining courage, he +determined to go down and shut the window, to avoid any suspicion. +Although now that the burglars were safely off with their prize, even +their capture could not implicate him. He rather hoped they _would_ be +caught! + +He took a lighted candle, and descended. As he entered the saloon, a +gust from the open window blew out the light. He stood there in the dark +and an icy draught; and, beginning to grope about in the dark for the +matches, he brushed against something which was soft and had a +cloth-like texture. "It's Braddle!" he thought, and his blood ran cold; +"or else the Count!" And he called them both respectfully. There was no +reply; no sound of breathing, even. + +Ha! here was a box of matches at last! He struck a light in feverish +haste, and lit the nearest gas-bracket. For an instant he could see +nothing, in the sudden glare; but the next moment he fell back against +the wall with a cry of horror and despair. + +For there, in the centre of the disordered room, stood--not the Count, +not Braddle--but the statue, the mantle thrown back from her arms, and +those arms, and the folds of the marble drapery, spotted here and there +with stains of dark crimson! + + + + +DAMOCLES DINES OUT + +X. + + "To feed were best at home."--_Macbeth._ + + +As soon as Leander had recovered from the first shock of horror and +disappointment, he set himself to efface the stains with which the +statue and the oilcloth were liberally bespattered; he was burning to +find out what had happened to make such desperadoes abandon their design +at the point of completion. + +They both seemed to have bled freely. Had they quarrelled, or what? He +went out into the yard with a hand-lamp, trembling lest he should come +upon one or more corpses; but the place was bare, and he then remembered +having heard them stumble and flounder over the wall. + +He came back in utter bewilderment; the statue, standing calm and +lifeless as he had himself placed it, could tell him nothing, and he +went back to his bedroom full of the vaguest fears. + +The next day was a Saturday, and he passed it in the state of continual +apprehension which was becoming his normal condition. He expected every +moment to see or hear from the baffled ruffians, who would, no doubt, +consider him responsible for their failure; but no word nor sign came +from them, and the uncertainty drove him very near distraction. + +As the night approached, he almost welcomed it, as a time when the +goddess herself would enlighten part of his ignorance; and he waited +more impatiently than ever for her return. + +He was made to wait long that evening, until he almost began to think +that the marble was deserted altogether; but at length, as he watched, +the statue gave a long, shuddering sigh, and seemed to gaze round the +saloon with vacant eyes. + +"Where am I?" she murmured. "Ah! I remember. Leander, while you +slumbered, impious hands were laid upon this image!" + +"Dear me, mum; you don't say so!" exclaimed Leander. + +"It is the truth! From afar I felt the indignity that was purposed, and +hastened to protect my image, to find it in the coarse grasp of godless +outlaws. Leander, they were about to drag me away by force--away from +thee!" + +"I'm very sorry you should have been disturbed," said Leander; and he +certainly was. "So you came back and caught them at it, did you? And +wh--what did you do to 'em, if I may inquire?" + +"I know not," she said simply. "I caused them to be filled with mad +fury, and they fell upon one another blindly, and fought like wild +beasts around my image until strength failed them, and they sank to the +ground; and when they were able, they fled from my presence, and I saw +them no more." + +"You--you didn't kill them outright, then?" said Leander, not feeling +quite sure whether he would be glad or not to hear that they had +forfeited their lives. + +"They were unworthy of such a death," she said; "so I let them crawl +away. Henceforth they will respect our images." + +"I should say they would, most likely, madam," agreed Leander. "I do +assure you, I'm almost glad of it myself--I am; it served them both +right." + +"_Almost_ glad! And do you not rejoice from your heart that I yet remain +to you?" + +"Why," said Leander, "it is, in course, a most satisfactory and +agreeable termination, I'm sure." + +"Who knows whether, if this my image had once been removed from you, I +could have found it in my power to return?" she said; "for, I ween, the +power that is left me has limits. I might never have appeared to you +again. Think of it, Leander." + +"I was thinking of it," he replied. "It quite upsets me to think how +near it was." + +"You are moved. You love me well, do you not, Leander?" + +"Oh! I suppose I do," he said--"well enough." + +"Well enough to abandon this gross existence, and fly with me where none +can separate us?" + +"I never said nothing about that," he answered. + +"But yesternight and you confessed that you were yielding--that ere long +I should prevail." + +"So I am," he said; "but it will take me some time to yield thoroughly. +You wouldn't believe how slow I yield; why, I haven't hardly begun yet!" + +"And how long a time will pass before you are fully prepared?" + +"I'm afraid I can't say, not exactly; it may be a month, or it might +only be a week, or again, it may be a year. I'm so dependent upon the +weather. So, if you're in any kind of a hurry, I couldn't advise you, as +a honest man, to wait for me." + +"I will not wait a year!" she said fiercely. "You mock me with such +words. I tell you again that my forbearance will last but little +longer. More of this laggard love, and I will shame you before your +fellow-men as an ingrate and a dastard! I will; by my zone, I will!" + +"Now, mum, you're allowing yourself to get excited," said Leander, +soothingly. "I wouldn't talk about it no more this evening; we shall do +no good. I can't arrange to go with you just yet, and there's an end of +it." + +"You will find that that is not the end of it, clod-witted slave that +you are!" + +"Now, don't call names; it's beneath you." + +"Ay, indeed! for are not _you_ beneath me? But for very shame I will not +abandon what is justly mine; nor shall you, wily and persuasive +hairdresser though you be, withstand my sovereign will with impunity!" + +"So you say, mum!" said Leander, with a touch of his native +impertinence. + +"As I say, I shall act; but no more of this, or you will anger me before +the time. Let me depart." + +"I'm not hindering you," he said; but she did not remain long enough to +resent his words. He sat down with a groan. "Whatever will become of +me?" he soliloquized dismally. "She gets more pressing every evening, +and she's been taking to threatening dreadful of late.... If the Count +and that Braddle ever come back now, it won't be to take her off my +hands; it'll more likely be to have my life for letting them into such a +trap. They'll think it was some trick of mine, I shouldn't wonder.... +And to-morrow's Sunday, and I've got to dine with aunt, and meet Matilda +and her ma. A pretty state of mind I'm in for going out to dinner, after +the awful week I've had of it! But there'll be some comfort in seeing my +darling Tillie again; _she_ ain't a statue, bless her!" + +"As for you, mum," he said to the unconscious statue, "I'm going to lock +you up in your old quarters, where you can't get out and do mischief. I +do think I'm entitled to have my Sunday quiet." + +After which he contrived to toil upstairs with the image, not without +considerable labour and frequent halts to recover his breath; for +although, as we have already noted, the marble, after being infused with +life, seemed to lose something of its normal weight, it was no light +burden, even then, to be undertaken single-handed. + +He slept long and late that Sunday morning; for he had been too +preoccupied for the last few days to make any arrangements for attending +chapel with his Matilda, and he was in sore need of repose besides. So +he rose just in time to swallow his coffee and array himself carefully +for his aunt's early dinner, leaving his two Sunday papers--the +theatrical and the general organs--unread on his table. + +It was a foggy, dull day, and Millman Street, never a cheerful +thoroughfare, looked gloomier than ever as he turned into it. But one of +those dingy fronts held Matilda--a circumstance which irradiated the +entire district for him. + +He had scarcely time to knock before the door was opened by Matilda in +person. She looked more charming than ever, in a neat dark dress, with a +little white collar and cuffs. Her hair was arranged in a new fashion, +being banded by a neat braided tress across the crown; and her grey +eyes, usually serene and cold, were bright and eager. + +The hairdresser felt his heart swell with love at the sight of her. What +a lucky man he was, after all, to have such a girl as this to care for +him! If he could keep her--ah, if he could only keep her! + +"I told your aunt _I_ was going to open the door to you," she said. "I +wanted----Oh, Leander, you've not brought it, after all!" + +"Meaning what, Tillie, my darling?" said Leander. + +"Oh, you know--my cloak!" + +He had had so much to think about that he had really forgotten the cloak +of late. + +"Well, no, I've not brought that--not the cloak, Tillie," he said +slowly. + +"What a time they are about it!" complained Matilda. + +"You see," explained the poor man, "when a cloak like that is damaged, +it has to be sent back to the manufacturers to be done, and they've so +many things on their hands. I couldn't promise that you'll have that +cloak--well, not this side of Christmas, at least." + +"You must have been very rough with it, then, Leander," she remarked. + +"I was," he said. "I don't know how I came to _be_ so rough. You see, I +was trying to tear it off----" But here he stopped. + +"Trying to tear it off what?" + +"Trying to tear it off nothink, but trying to tear the wrapper off _it_. +It was so involved," he added, "with string and paper and that; and I'm +a clumsy, unlucky sort of chap, sweet one; and I'm uncommon sorry about +it, that I am!" + +"Well, we won't say any more about it," said Matilda, softened by his +contrition. "And I'm keeping you out in the passage all this time. Come +in, and be introduced to mamma; she's in the front parlour, waiting to +make your acquaintance." + +Mrs. Collum was a stout lady, with a thin voice. She struck a nameless +fear into Leander's soul as he was led up to where she sat. He +thought that she contained all the promise of a very terrible +mother-in-law. + +[Illustration: SHE STRUCK A NAMELESS FEAR INTO LEANDER'S SOUL.] + +"This is Leander, mamma dear," said Matilda, shyly and yet proudly. + +Her mother inspected him for a moment, and then half closed her eyes. +"My daughter tells me that you carry on the occupation of a +hairdresser," she said. + +"Quite correct, madam," said Leander; "I do." + +"Ah! well," she said, with an unconcealed sigh, "I could have wished to +look higher than hairdressing for my Matilda; but there are +opportunities of doing good even as a hairdresser. I trust you are +sensible of that." + +"I try to do as little 'arm as I can," he said feebly. + +"If you do not do good, you must do harm," she said uncompromisingly. +"You have it in your means to be an awakening influence. No one knows +the power that a single serious hairdresser might effect with worldly +customers. Have you never thought of that?" + +"Well, I can't say I have exactly," he said; "and I don't see how." + +"There are cheap and appropriate illuminated texts," she said, "to be +had at so much a dozen; you could hang them on your walls. There are +tracts you procure by the hundred; you could put them in the lining of +hats as you hang them up; you could wrap them round your--your bottles +and pomatum-pots. You could drop a word in season in your customer's ear +as you bent over him. And you tell me you don't see how; you _will_ not +see, I fear, Mr. Tweddle." + +"I'm afraid, mum," he replied, "my customers would consider I was taking +liberties." + +"And what of that, so long as you save them?" + +"Well, you see, I shouldn't--I should _lose_ 'em! And it's not done in +our profession; and, to tell you the honest truth, I'm not given that +way myself--not to the extent of tracks and suchlike, that is." + +Matilda's mother groaned; it was hard to find a son-in-law with whom she +had nothing in common, and who was a hairdresser into the bargain. + +"Well, well," she said, "we must expect crosses in this life; though for +my own daughter to lay this one upon me is--is----But I will not +repine." + +"I'm sorry you regard me in the light of a cross," said Leander; "but, +whether I'm a cross or a naught, I'm a respectable man, and I love your +daughter, mum, and I'm in a position to maintain her." + +Leander hated to have to appear under false pretences, of which he had +had more than enough of late. He was glad now to speak out plainly, +particularly as he had no reason to fear this old woman. + +"Hush, Leander! Mamma didn't mean to be unkind; did you, mamma?" said +Matilda. + +"I said what I felt," she said. "We will not discuss it further. If, in +time, I see reason for bestowing my blessing upon a choice which at +present----But no matter. If I see reason in time, I will not withhold +it. I can hardly be expected to approve at present." + +"You shall take your own time, mum; _I_ won't hurry you," said Leander. +"Tillie is blessing enough for me--not but what I shall be glad to be on +a pleasant footing with you, I'm sure, if you can bring yourself to it." + +Before Mrs. Collum could reply, Miss Louisa Tweddle made an opportune +appearance, to the relief of Matilda, in whom her mother's attitude was +causing some uneasiness. + +Miss Tweddle was a well-preserved little woman, with short curly +iron-grey hair and sharp features. In manner she was brisk, not to say +chirpy, but she secreted sentiment in large quantities. She was very far +from the traditional landlady, and where she lost lodgers occasionally +she retained friends. She regarded Mrs. Collum with something like +reverence, as an acquaintance of her youth who had always occupied a +superior social position, and she was proud, though somewhat guiltily +so, that her favourite nephew should have succeeded in captivating the +daughter of a dentist. + +She kissed Leander on both cheeks. "He's done the best of all my +nephews, Mrs. Collum, ma'am," she explained, "and he's never caused me a +moment's anxiety since I first had the care of him, when he was first +apprenticed to Catchpole's in Holborn, and paid me for his board." + +"Well, well," said Mrs. Collum, "I hope he never may cause anxiety to +you, or to any one." + +"I'll answer for it, he won't," said his aunt. "I wish you could see him +dress a head of hair." + +Mrs. Collum shut her eyes again. "If at his age he has not acquired the +necessary skill for his line in life," she observed, "it would be a very +melancholy thing to reflect upon." + +"Yes, wouldn't it?" agreed Miss Tweddle; "you say very truly, Mrs. +Collum. But he's got ideas and notions beyond what you'd expect in a +hairdresser--haven't you, Leandy? Tell Miss Collum's dear ma about the +new machines you've invented for altering people's hands and eyes and +features." + +"I don't care to be told," the lady struck in. "To my mind, it's nothing +less than sheer impiety to go improving the features we've been endowed +with. We ought to be content as we are, and be thankful we've been sent +into the world with any features at all. Those are my opinions!" + +"Ah," said the politic Leander, "but some people are saved having resort +to Art for improvement, and we oughtn't to blame them as are less +favoured for trying to render themselves more agreeable as spectacles, +ought we?" + +"And if every one thought with you," added his aunt, with distinctly +inferior tact, "where would your poor dear 'usband have been, Mrs. +Collum, ma'am?" + +"My dear husband was not on the same level--he was a medical man; and, +besides, though he replaced Nature in one of her departments, he had too +much principle to _imitate_ her. Had he been (or had I allowed him to +be) less conscientious, his practice would have been largely extended; +but I can truthfully declare that not a single one of his false teeth +was capable of deceiving for an instant. I hope," she added to Leander, +"you, in your own different way, are as scrupulous." + +"Why, the fact is," said Leander, whose professional susceptibilities +were now aroused, "I am essentially an artist. When I look around, I see +that Nature out of its bounty has supplied me with a choice selection of +patterns to follow, and I reproduce them as faithful as lies within my +abilities. You may call it a fine thing to take a blank canvas, and +represent the luxurious tresses and the blooming hue of 'ealth upon it, +and so do I; but I call it a still higher and nobler act to produce a +similar effect upon a human 'ed!" + +"Isn't that a pretty speech for a young man like him--only +twenty-seven--Mrs. Collum?" exclaimed his admiring aunt. + +"You see, mamma dear," pleaded Matilda, who saw that her parent remained +unaffected, "it isn't as if Leander was in poor papa's profession." + +"I hope, Matilda," said the lady sharply, "you are not going to pain me +again by mentioning this young man and your departed father in the same +breath, because I cannot bear it." + +"The old lady," reflected Leander here, "don't seem to take to me!" + +"I'm sure," said Miss Tweddle, "Leandy quite feels what an honour it is +to him to look forward to such a connection as yours is. When I first +heard of it, I said at once, 'Leandy, you can't never mean it; she won't +look at you; it's no use your asking her,' I said. And I quite scolded +myself for ever bringing them together!" + +Mrs. Collum seemed inclined to follow suit, but she restrained herself. +"Ah! well," she observed, "my daughter has chosen to take her own way, +without consulting my prejudices. All I hope is, that she may never +repent it!" + +"Very handsomely said, ma'am," chimed in Miss Tweddle; "and, if I know +my nephew, repent it she never will!" + +Leander was looking rather miserable; but Matilda put out her hand to +him behind his aunt's back, and their eyes and hands met, and he was +happy again. + +"You must be wanting your dinner, Mrs. Collum," his aunt proceeded; "and +we are only waiting for another lady and gentleman to make up the party. +I don't know what's made them so behindhand, I'm sure. He's a very +pleasant young man, and punctual to the second when he lodged with me. I +happened to run across him up by Chancery Lane the other evening, and he +said to me, in his funny way, 'I've been and gone and done it, Miss +Tweddle, since I saw you. I'm a happy man; and I'm thinking of bringing +my young lady soon to introduce to you.' So I asked them to come and +take a bit of dinner with me to-day, and I told him two o'clock sharp, +I'm sure. Ah, there they are at last! That's Mr. Jauncy's knock, among a +thousand." + +Leander started. "Aunt!" he cried, "you haven't asked Jauncy here +to-day?" + +"Yes, I did, Leandy. I knew you used to be friends when you were +together here, and I thought how nice it would be for both your young +ladies to make each other's acquaintance; but I didn't tell _him_ +anything. I meant it for a surprise." + +And she bustled out to receive her guests, leaving Leander speechless. +What if the new-comers were to make some incautious reference to that +pleasure-party on Saturday week? Could he drop them a warning hint? + +"Don't you like this Mr. Jauncy, Leander?" whispered Matilda, who had +observed his ghastly expression. + +"I like him well enough," he returned, with an effort; "but I'd rather +we had no third parties, I must say." + +Here Mr. Jauncy came in alone, Miss Tweddle having retired to assist the +lady to take off her bonnet. + +Leander went to meet him. "James," he said in an agitated whisper, "have +you brought Bella?" + +Jauncy nodded. "We were talking of you as we came along," he said in the +same tone, "and I advise you to look out--she's got her quills up, old +chap!" + +"What about?" murmured Leander. + +Mr. Jauncy's grin was wider and more appreciative than ever as he +replied, mysteriously, "Rosherwich!" + +Leander would have liked to ask in what respect Miss Parkinson +considered herself injured by the expedition to Rosherwich; but, before +he could do so, his aunt returned with the young lady in question. + +Bella was gorgeously dressed, and made her entrance with the stiffest +possible dignity. "Miss Parkinson, my dear," said her hostess, "you +mustn't be made a stranger of. That lady sitting there on the sofa is +Mrs. Collum, and this gentleman is a friend of _your_ gentleman's, and +my nephew, Leandy." + +"Oh, thank you," said Bella, "but I've no occasion to be told Mr. +Tweddle's name; we have met before--haven't we, Mr. Tweddle?" + +He looked at her, and saw her brows clouded, and her nose and mouth with +a pinched look about them. She was annoyed with him evidently--but why? + +"We have," was all he could reply. + +"Why, how nice that is, to be sure!" exclaimed his aunt. "I might have +thought of it, too, Mr. Jauncy, and you being such friends and all. And +p'r'aps you know this lady, too--Miss Collum--as Leandy is keeping +company along with?" + +Bella's expression changed to something blacker still. "No," she said, +fixing her eyes on the still unconscious Leander; "I made sure that Mr. +Tweddle was courting _a_ young lady, but--but--well, this _is_ a +surprise, Mr. Tweddle! You never told us of this when last we met. I +shall have news for somebody!" + +"Oh, but it's only been arranged within the last month or two!" said +Miss Tweddle. + +"Considering we met so lately, he might have done us the compliment of +mentioning it, I must say!" said Bella. + +"I--I thought you knew," stammered the hairdresser; "I told----" + +"No, you didn't, excuse me; oh no, you didn't, or some things would have +happened differently. It was the place and all that made you forget it, +very likely." + +"When did you meet one another, and where was it, Miss Parkinson?" +inquired Matilda, rather to include herself in the conversation than +from any devouring curiosity. + +Leander struck in hoarsely. "We met," he explained, "some time since, +quite casual." + +Bella's eyes lit up with triumphant malice. "What!" she said, "do you +call yesterday week such a long while? What a compliment that is, +though! And so he's not even mentioned it to you, Miss Collum? Dear me, +I wonder what reasons he had for that, now!" + +"There's nothing to wonder at," said Leander; "my memory does play me +tricks of that sort." + +"Ah, if it was only you it played tricks on! There's Miss Collum dying +to know what it's all about, I can see." + +"Indeed, Miss Parkinson, I'm nothing of the sort," retorted Matilda, +proudly. Privately her reflection was: "She's got a lovely gown on, but +she's a common girl, for all that; and she's trying to set me against +Leander for some reason, and she shan't do it." + +"Well," said Bella, "you're a fortunate man, Mr. Tweddle, that you are, +in every way. I'm afraid I shouldn't be so easy with my James." + +"There's no need for being afraid about it," her James put in; "you +aren't!" + +"I hope you haven't as much cause, though," she retorted. + +Leander listened to her malicious innuendo with a bewildered agony. Why +on earth was she making this dead set at him? She was amiable enough on +Saturday week. It never occurred to him that his conduct to her sister +could account for it, for had he not told Ada straightforwardly how he +was situated? + +Fortunately dinner was announced to be ready just then, and Bella was +silenced for the moment in the general movement to the next room. + +Leander took in Matilda's mamma, who had been studiously abstracting +herself from all surrounding objects for the last few minutes. "That +Bella is a downright basilisk," he thought dismally, as he led the way. +"Lord, how I do wish dinner was done!" + + + + +DENOUNCED + +XI. + + "There's a new foot on the floor, my friend; + And a new face at the door, my friend; + A new face at the door." + + +Leander sat at the head of the table as carver, having Mrs. Collum and +Bella on his left, and James and Matilda opposite to them. + +James was the first to open conversation, by the remark to Mrs. Collum, +across the table, that they were "having another dull Sunday." + +"That," rejoined the uncompromising lady, "seems to me a highly improper +remark, sir." + +"My friend Jauncy," explained Leander, in defence of his abashed +companion, "was not alluding to present company, I'm sure. He meant the +dulness _outside_--the fog, and so on." + +"I knew it," she said; "and I repeat that it is improper and irreverent +to speak of a dull Sunday in that tone of complaint. Haven't we all the +week to be lively in?" + +"And I'm sure, ma'am," said Jauncy, recovering himself, "you make the +most of your time. Talking of fog, Tweddle, did you see those lines on +it in to-day's _Umpire_? Very smart, I call them; regular witty." + +"And do you both read a paper on Sunday mornings with 'smart' and +'witty' lines in it?" demanded Mrs. Collum. + +"I--I hadn't time this morning," said the unregenerate Leander; "but I +do occasionally cast an eye over it before I get up." + +Mrs. Collum groaned, and looked at her daughter reproachfully. + +"I see by the _Weekly News_," said Jauncy, "you've had a burglary in +your neighbourhood." + +Leander let the carving-knife slip. "A burglary! What! in my +neighbourhood? When?" + +"Well, p'r'aps not a burglary; but a capture of two that were 'wanted' +for it. It's all in to-day's _News_." + +"I--I haven't seen a paper for the last two days," said Leander, his +heart beating with hope. "Tell us about it!" + +"Why, it isn't much to tell; but it seems that last Friday night, or +early on Saturday morning, the constable on duty came upon two +suspicious-looking chaps, propped up insensible against the railings in +Queen Square, covered with blood, and unable to account for themselves. +Whether they'd been trying to break in somewhere and been beaten off, or +had quarrelled, or met with some accident, doesn't seem to be known for +certain. But, anyway, they were arrested for loitering at night with +housebreaking things about them; and, when they were got to the station, +recognized as the men 'wanted' for shooting a policeman down at +Camberwell some time back, and if it is proved against them they'll be +hung, for certain." + +"What were they called? Did it say?" asked Leander, eagerly. + +"I forget one--something like Bradawl, I believe; the other had a lot of +aliases, but he was best known as the 'Count,' from having lived a good +deal abroad, and speaking broken English like a native." + +Leander's spirits rose, in spite of his present anxieties. He had been +going in fear and dread of the revenge of these ruffians, and they were +safely locked up; they could trouble him no more. Small wonder, then, +that his security in this respect made him better able to cope with +minor dangers; and Bella's animosity seemed lulled, too--at least, she +had not opened her mouth, except for food, since she sat down. + +In his expansion, he gave himself the airs of a host. "I hope," he said, +"I've served you all to your likings? Miss Parkinson, you're not getting +on; allow me to offer you a little more pork." + +"Thank you, Mr. Tweddle," said the implacable Bella, "but I won't +trouble you. I haven't an appetite to-day--like I had at those gardens." + +There was a challenge in this answer--not only to him, but to general +curiosity--which, to her evident disappointment, was not taken up. + +Leander turned to Jauncy. "I--I suppose you had no trouble in finding +your way here?" he said. + +"No," said Jauncy, "not more than usual; the streets were pretty full, +and that makes it harder to get along." + +"We met such quantities of soldiers," put in Bella. "Do you remember +those two soldiers at Rosherwich, Mr. Tweddle? How funny they did look, +dancing; didn't they? But I suppose I mustn't say anything about the +dancing here, must I?" + +"Since," said the poor badgered man, "you put it to me, Miss Parkinson, +I must say that, considering the _day_, you know----" + +"Yes," continued Mrs. Collum, severely; "surely there are better topics +for the Sabbath than--than a dancing soldier!" + +"Mr. Tweddle knows why I stopped myself," said Bella. "But there, I +won't tell of you--not now, at all events; so don't look like that at +me!" + +"There, Bella, that'll do," said her _fiance_, suddenly awakening to the +fact that she was trying to make herself disagreeable, and perhaps +feeling slightly ashamed of her. + +"James! I know what to say and what to leave unsaid, without tellings +from you; thanks all the same. You needn't fear my saying a word about +Mr. Tweddle and Ada--la, now, if I haven't gone and said it! What a +stupid I am to run on so!" + +"_Drop_ it, Bella! Do you hear? That's enough," growled Jauncy. + +Leander sat silent; he did not attempt again to turn the conversation: +he knew better. Matilda seemed perfectly calm, and certainly showed no +surface curiosity; but he feared that her mother intended to require +explanations. + +Miss Tweddle came in here with the original remark that winter had begun +now in good earnest. + +"Yes," said Bella. "Why, as we came along, there wasn't hardly a leaf on +the trees in the squares; and yet only yesterday week, at the gardens, +the trees hadn't begun to shed. Had they, Mr. Tweddle? Oh, but I forgot; +you were so taken up with paying attention to Ada----(_Well_, James! I +suppose I can make a remark!)" + +"I'll never take you out again, if you don't hold that tongue," he +whispered savagely. + +Mrs. Collum fixed her eyes on Leander, as he sat cowering on her right. +"Leander Tweddle," she said, in a hissing whisper, "what is that young +person talking about? Who--who is this 'Ada'? I insist upon being +told." + +"If you want to know, ask her," he retorted desperately. + +All this by-play passed unnoticed by Miss Tweddle, who was probably too +full of the cares of a hostess to pay attention to it; and, accordingly, +she judged the pause that followed the fitting opportunity for a little +speech. + +"Mrs. Collum, ma'am," she began; "and my dearest Miss Matilda, the +flower of all my lady lodgers; and you, Leandy; and Mr. Jauncy; and, +though last mentioned, not intentionally so, I assure you, Miss +Parkinson, my dear--I couldn't tell you how honoured I feel to see you +all sitting, so friendly and cheerful, round my humble table. I hope +this will be only the beginning of many more so; and I wish you all your +very good healths!" + +"Which, if I may answer for self and present company," said Mr. Jauncy, +nobody else being able to utter a word, "we drink and reciprocate." + +Leander was saved for the moment, and the dinner passed without further +incident. But his aunt's vein of sentiment had been opened, and could +not be staunched all at once; for when the cloth was removed, and the +decanters and dishes of oranges placed upon the table, she gave a little +preparatory cough and began again. + +"I'm sure it isn't my wish to be ceremonial," she said; "but we're all +among friends--for I should like to look upon you as a friend, if you'll +let me," she added rather dubiously, to Bella. "And I don't really think +there could be a better occasion for a sort of little ceremony that I've +quite set my heart on. Leandy, _you_ know what I mean; and you've got it +with you, I know, because you were told to bring it with you." + +"Miss Tweddle," interrupted Matilda, hurriedly, "not now. I--I don't +think Vidler has sent it back yet. I told you, you know----" + +"That's all you know about it, young lady," she said, archly; "for I +stepped in there yesterday and asked him about it, to make sure, and he +told me it was delivered over the very Saturday afternoon before. So, +Leandy, oblige me for once, and put it on the dear girl's finger before +us all; you needn't be bashful with us, I'm sure, either of you." + +"What is all this?" asked Mrs. Collum. + +"Why, it's a ring, Mrs. Collum, ma'am, that belonged to my own dear +aunt, though she never wore it; and her grandfather had the posy +engraved on the inside of it. And I remember her telling me, before she +was taken, that she'd left it to me in her will, but I wasn't to let it +go out of the family. So I gave it to Leandy, to be his engagement ring; +but it's had to be altered, because it was ever so much too large as it +was." + +"I always thought," said Mrs. Collum, "that it was the gentleman's duty +to provide the ring." + +"So Leandy wanted to; but I said, 'You can pay for the altering; but I'm +fanciful about this, and I want to see dearest Miss Collum with my +aunt's ring on.'" + +"Oh, but, Miss Tweddle, can't you see?" said Matilda. "He's forgotten +it; don't--don't tease him about it.... It must be for some other time, +that's all!" + +"Matilda, I'm surprised at you," said her mother. "To forget such a +thing as that would be unpardonable in _any_ young man. Leander Tweddle, +you _cannot_ have forgotten it." + +"No," he said, "I've not forgotten it; but--but I haven't it about me, +and I don't know as I could lay my hand on it, just at present, and +that's the truth." + +"_Part_ of the truth," said Bella. "Oh, what deceitful things you men +are! Leave me alone, James; I will speak. I won't sit by and hear poor +dear Miss Collum deceived in this way. Miss Collum, ask him if that is +all he knows about it. Ask him, and see what he says." + +"I'm quite satisfied with what he has chosen to say already, Miss +Parkinson; thank you," said Matilda. + +"Then permit me to say, Miss Collum, that I'm truly sorry for you," said +Bella. + +"If you think so, Miss Parkinson, I suppose you must say so." + +"I do say it," said Bella; "for it's a sorrowful sight to see meekness +all run to poorness of spirit. You have a right to an explanation from +Mr. Tweddle there; and you would insist on it, if you wasn't afraid (and +with good reason) of the answer you'd get!" + +At the beginning of this short colloquy Miss Tweddle, after growing very +red and restless for some moments, had slipped out of the room, and came +in now, trembling and out of breath, with a bonnet in her hand and a +cloak over her arm. + +"Miss Parkinson," she said, speaking very rapidly, "when I asked you to +come here with my good friend and former lodger, I little thought that +anything but friendship would come of it; and sorry I am that it has +turned out otherwise. And my feelings to Mr. Jauncy are the same as +ever; but--this is your bonnet, Miss Parkinson, and your cloak. And this +is my house; and I shall be obliged if you'll kindly put on the ones, +and walk out of the other at once!" + +Bella burst into tears, and demanded from Mr. Jauncy why he had brought +her there to be insulted. + +"You brought it all on yourself," he said, gloomily; "you should have +behaved!" + +"What have I done," cried Bella, "to be told to go, as if I wasn't fit +to stay?" + +"I'll tell you what you've done," said Miss Tweddle. "You were asked +here with Mr. Jauncy to meet my dear Leandy and his young lady, and get +all four of you to know one another, and lay foundations for +Friendship's flowery bonds. And from the moment you came in, though I +paid no attention to it at first, you've done nothing but insinuate and +hint, and try all you could to set my dear Miss Collum and her ma +against my poor unoffending nephew; and I won't sit by any longer and +hear it. Put on your bonnet and cloak, Miss Parkinson, and Mr. Jauncy +(who knows I don't bear him any ill-feeling, whatever happens) will go +home with you." + +"I've said nothing," repeated Bella, "but what I'd a right to say, and +what I'll stand to." + +"If you don't put on those things," said Jauncy, "I shall go away +myself, and leave you to follow as best you can." + +"I'm putting them on," said Bella; and her hands were unsteady with +passion as she tied her bonnet-strings. "Don't bully _me_, James, +because I won't bear it! Mr. Tweddle, if you're a man, will you sit +there and tell me you don't know that that ring is on a certain person's +finger? Will you do that?" + +[Illustration: HER HANDS WERE UNSTEADY WITH PASSION AS SHE TIED HER +BONNET-STRINGS.] + +The miserable man concluded that Ada had disregarded his entreaties, and +told her sister all about the ring and the accursed statue. He could not +see why the story should have so inflamed Bella; but her temper was +always uncertain. + +Everybody was looking at him, and he was expected to say something. His +main idea was, that he would see how much Bella knew before committing +himself. + +"What have I ever done to offend you," he asked, "that you turn on me +in this downright vixenish manner? I scorn to reply to your +insinuations!" + +"Do you want me to speak out plain? James, stand away, _if_ you please. +You may all think what you choose of me. _I_ don't care! Perhaps if +_you_ were to come in and find the man who, only a week ago, had offered +marriage to your youngest sister, figuring away as engaged to quite +another lady, _you_ wouldn't be all milk and honey, either. I'm doing +right to expose him. The man who'd deceive one would deceive many, and +so you'll find, Miss Collum, little as you think it." + +"That's enough," said Miss Tweddle. "It's all a mistake, I'm sure, and +you'll be sorry some day for having made it. Now go, Miss Parkinson, and +make no more mischief!" + +A light had burst in upon Leander's perturbed mind. Ada had not broken +faith with him, after all. He remembered Bella's conduct during the +return from Rosherwich, and understood at last to what a mistake her +present wrath was due. + +Here, at all events, was an accusation he could repel with dignity, with +truth. Foolish and unlucky he had been--and how unlucky he still hoped +Matilda might never learn--but false he was not; and she should not be +allowed to believe it. + +"Miss Parkinson," he said, "I've been badgered long enough. What is it +you're trying to bring up against me about your sister Ada? Speak it +out, and I'm ready to answer you." + +"Leander," said Matilda, "I don't want to hear it from her. Only you +tell me that you've been true to me, and that is quite enough." + +"Matilda, you're a foolish girl, and don't know what you're talking +about," said her mother. "It is not enough for _me_; so I beg, young +woman, if you've anything to accuse the man who's to be my son-in-law +of, you'll say it now, in my presence, and let him contradict it +afterwards if he can." + +"Will he contradict his knowing my sister Ada, who's one of the ladies +at Madame Chenille's, in the Edgware Road, more than a twelvemonth +since, and paying her attentions?" asked Bella. + +"I don't deny," said Leander, "meeting her several times, and being +considerably struck, in a quiet way. But that was before I met Matilda." + +"You had met Matilda before last Saturday, I suppose?" sneered Bella, +spitefully--"when you laid your plans to join our party to Rosherwich, +and trouble my poor sister, who'd given up thinking of you." + +"There you go, Bella!" said her _fiance_. "What do you know about his +plans? He'd no idea as Ada and you was to be there; and when I told him, +as we were driving down, it was all I could do to prevent him jumping +out of the cab." + +"I'm highly flattered to hear it," said Bella. "But he didn't seem to be +so afraid of Ada when they did meet; and you best know, Mr. Tweddle, the +things you said to that poor trusting girl all the time you were walking +and dancing and talking foolishness to her." + +"I never said a word that couldn't have been spoke from the top of St. +Paul's," protested Leander. "I did dance with her, I own, not to seem +uncivil; but we only waltzed round twice." + +"Then why did you give her a ring--an engagement ring too?" insisted +Bella. + +"Who saw me give her a ring?" he demanded hotly. "Do you dare to say you +did? Did she ever tell you I gave her any ring? You _know_ she didn't!" + +"If I can't trust my own ears," said Bella, "I should like to know what +I can trust. I heard you myself, in that railway carriage, ask my sister +Ada not to tell any one about some ring, and I tried to get out of Ada +afterwards what the secret was; but she wouldn't treat me as a sister, +and be open with me. But any one with eyes in their head could guess +what was between you, and all the time you an engaged man!" + +"See there, now!" cried the injured hairdresser; "there's a thing to go +and make all this mischief about! Matilda, Mrs. Collum, aunt, I declare +to you I told the--the other young woman everything about my having +formed new ties and that. I was very particular not to give rise to +hopes which were only doomed to be disappointed. As to what Miss +Parkinson says she overheard, why, it's very likely I may have asked her +sister to say nothing about a ring, and I won't deny it was the very +same ring that I was to have brought here to-day; for the fact was, I +had the misfortune to lose it in those very gardens, and naturally did +not wish it talked about: and that's the truth, as I stand here. As for +giving it away, I swear I never parted with it to no mortal woman!" + +"After that, Bella," observed Mr. Jauncy, "you'd better say you're sorry +you spoke, and come home with me--that's what you'd better do." + +"I shall say nothing of the sort," she asserted. "I'm too much of a lady +to stay where my company is not desired, and I'm ready to go as soon as +you please. But if he was to talk his head off, he would never persuade +me (whatever he may do other parties) that he's not been playing double; +and if Ada were here you would soon see whether he would have the face +to deny it. So good-night, Miss Tweddle, and sooner or later you'll find +yourself undeceived in your precious nephew, take my word for it. +Good-night, Miss Collum, and I'm only sorry you haven't more spirit than +to put up with such treatment. James, are you going to keep me waiting +any longer?" + +Mr. Jauncy, with confused apologies to the company generally, hurried +his betrothed off, in no very amiable mood, and showed his sense of her +indiscretions by indulging in some very plain speaking on their homeward +way. + +As the street door shut behind them, Leander gave a deep sigh of relief. + +"Matilda, my own dearest girl," he said, "now that that cockatrice has +departed, tell me, you don't doubt your Leander, do you?" + +"No," said Matilda, judicially, "I don't doubt you, Leander, only I do +wish you'd been a little more open with me; you might have told me you +had gone to those gardens and lost the ring, instead of leaving me to +hear it from that girl." + +"So I might, darling," he owned; "but I thought you'd disapprove." + +"And if she's _my_ daughter," observed Mrs. Collum, "she _will_ +disapprove." + +But it was evident from Matilda's manner that the inference was +incorrect; the relief of finding Leander guiltless on the main count had +blinded her to all minor shortcomings, and he had the happiness of +knowing himself fully and freely forgiven. + +If this could only have been the end! But, while he was still throbbing +with bliss, he heard a sound, at which his "bedded hair" started up and +stood on end--the ill-omened sound of a slow and heavy footfall. + +"Leandy," cried his aunt, "how strange you're looking!" + +"There's some one in the passage," he said, hoarsely. "I'll go and see +her. Don't any of you come out." + +"Why, it's only our Jane," said his aunt; "she always treads heavy." + +The steps were heard going up the stairs; then they seemed to pause +halfway, and descend again. "I'll be bound she's forgot something," said +Miss Tweddle. "I never knew such a head as that girl's;" and Leander +began to be almost reassured. + +The steps were heard in the adjoining room, which was shut off by +folding doors from the one they were occupying. + +"Leander," cried Matilda, "what _can_ there be to look so frightened +of?" and as she spoke there came a sounding solemn blow upon the +folding-doors. + +"I never saw the lady before in all my life!" moaned the guilty man, +before the doors had time to swing back; for he knew too well who stood +behind them. + +And his foreboding was justified to the full. The doors yielded to the +blow, and, opening wide, revealed the tall and commanding figure of the +goddess; her face, thanks to Leander's pigments, glowing lifelike under +her hood, and the gold ring gleaming on her outstretched hand. + +"Leander," said the goddess, in her low musical accents, "come away." + +"Upon my word!" cried Mrs. Collum. "_Who_ is this person?" + +He could not speak. There seemed to be a hammer beating on his brain, +reducing it to a pulp. + +"Perhaps," said Miss Tweddle--"perhaps, young lady, you'll explain what +you've come for?" + +The statue slowly pointed to Leander. "I come for him," she said +calmly. "He has vowed himself to me; he is mine!" + +Matilda, after staring, incredulous, for some moments at the intruder, +sank with a wild scream upon the sofa, and hid her face. + +Leander flew to her side. "Matilda, my own," he implored, "don't be +alarmed. She won't touch _you_; it's _me_ she's come after." + +Matilda rose and repulsed him with a sudden energy. "How dare you!" she +cried, hysterically. "I see it all now: the ring, the--the cloak; _she_ +has had them all the time!.... Fool that I was--silly, trusting fool!" +And she broke out into violent hysterics. + +"Go away at once, hypocrite!" enjoined her mother, addressing the +distracted hairdresser, as he stood, dumb and impotent, before her. "Do +you want to kill my poor child? Take yourself off!" + +"For goodness' sake, go, Leandy," added his aunt. "I can't bear the +sight of you!" + +"Leander, I wait," said the statue. "Come!" + +He stood there a moment longer, looking blankly at the two elder women +as they bustled about the prostrate girl, and then he gave a bitter, +defiant laugh. + +His fate was too strong for him. No one was in the mood to listen to any +explanation; it was all over! "I'm coming," he said to the goddess. "I +may as well; I'm not wanted here." + +And, with a smothered curse, he dashed blindly from the room, and out +into the foggy street. + + + + +AN APPEAL + +XII. + + "If you did know to whom I gave the ring, + If you did know for whom I gave the ring, + And how unwillingly I left the ring, + You would abate the strength of your displeasure." + + _Merchant of Venice._ + + +Leander strode down the street in a whirl of conflicting emotions. At +the very moment when he seemed to have prevailed over Miss Parkinson's +machinations, his evil fate had stepped in and undone him for ever! What +would become of him without Matilda? As he was thinking of his gloomy +prospects, he noticed, for the first time, that the statue was keeping +step by his side, and he turned on her with smothered rage. "Well," he +began, "I hope you're satisfied?" + +"Quite, Leander, quite satisfied; for have I not found you?" + +"Oh, you've found me right enough," he replied, with a groan--"trust you +for that! What I should like to know is, how the dickens you did it?" + +"Thus," she replied: "I awoke, and it was dark, and you were not there, +and I needed you; and I went forth, and called you by your name. And +you, now that you have hearkened to my call, you are happy, are you +not?" + +"Me?" said Leander, grimly. "Oh, I'm regular jolly, I am! Haven't I +reason?" + +"Your sisters seemed alarmed at my coming," she said. "Why?" + +"Well," said Leander, "they aren't used to having marble goddesses +dropping in on them promiscuously." + +"The youngest wept: was it because I took you from her side?" + +"I shouldn't wonder," he returned gruffly. "Don't bother me!" + +When they were both safely within the little upper room again, he opened +the cupboard door wide. "Now, marm," he said, in a voice which trembled +with repressed rage, "you must be tired with the exercise you've took +this evening, and I'll trouble you to walk in here." + +"There are many things on which I would speak with you," she said. + +"You must keep them for next time," he answered roughly. "If you can see +anything, you can see that just now I'm not in a temper for to stand it, +whatever I may be another evening." + +"Why do I suffer this language from you?" she demanded +indignantly--"why?" + +"If you don't go in, you'll hear language you'll like still less, +goddess or no goddess!" he said, foaming. "I mean it. I've been worked +up past all bearing, and I advise you to let me alone just now, or +you'll repent it!" + +"Enough!" she said haughtily, and stalked proudly into the lonely niche, +which he closed instantly. As he did so, he noticed his Sunday papers +lying still folded on his table, and seized one eagerly. + +"It may have something in it about what Jauncy was telling me of," he +said; and his search was rewarded by the following paragraph:-- + +"DARING CAPTURE OF BURGLARS IN BLOOMSBURY.--On the night of Friday, the +--th, Police-constable Yorke, B 954, while on duty, in the course of one +of his rounds, discovered two men, in a fainting condition and covered +with blood, which was apparently flowing from sundry wounds upon their +persons, lying against the railings of Queen Square. Being unable to +give any coherent account of themselves, and housebreaking implements +being found in their possession, they were at once removed to the Bow +Street Station, where, the charge having been entered against them, they +were recognized by a member of the force as two notorious housebreakers +who have long been 'wanted' in connection with the Camberwell burglary, +in which, as will be remembered, an officer lost his life." + +The paragraph went on to give their names and sundry other details, and +concluded with a sentence which plunged Leander into fresh torments:-- + +"In spite of the usual caution, both prisoners insisted upon +volunteering a statement, the exact nature of which has not yet +transpired, but which is believed to have reference to another equally +mysterious outrage--the theft of the famous Venus from the Wricklesmarsh +Collection--and is understood to divert suspicion into a hitherto +unsuspected channel." + +What could this mean, if not that those villains, smarting under their +second failure, had denounced him in revenge? He tried to persuade +himself that the passage would bear any other construction, but not very +successfully. "If they have brought _me_ in," he thought, and it was his +only gleam of consolation, "I should have heard of it before this." + +And even this gleam vanished as a sharp knocking was heard below; and, +descending to open the door, he found his visitor to be Inspector +Bilbow. + +"Evening, Tweddle," said the Inspector, quietly. "I've come to have +another little talk with you." + +Leander thought he would play his part till it became quite hopeless. +"Proud to see you, Mr. Inspector," he said. "Will you walk into my +saloon? and I'll light the gas for you." + +"No, don't you trouble yourself," said the terrible man. "I'll walk +upstairs where you're sitting yourself, if you've no objections." + +Leander dared not make any, and he ushered the detective upstairs +accordingly. + +"Ha!" said the latter, throwing a quick eye round the little room. "Nice +little crib you've got here. Keep everything you want on the premises, +eh? Find those cupboards very convenient, I dare say?" + +"Very," said Leander (like the innocent Joseph Surface that he was); +"oh, very convenient, sir." He tried to keep his eyes from resting too +consciously upon the fatal door that held his secret. + +"Keep your coal and your wine and spirits there?" said the detective. +(Was he watching his countenance, or not?) + +"Y--yes," said Leander; "leastways, in one of them. Will you take +anything, sir?" + +"Thank 'ee, Tweddle; I don't mind if I do. And what do you keep in the +other one, now?" + +"The other?" said the poor man. "Oh, odd things!" (He certainly had +_one_ odd thing in it.) + +After the officer had chosen and mixed his spirits and water, he began: +"Now, you know what's brought me here, don't you?" + +("If he was sure, he wouldn't try to pump me," argued Leander. "I won't +throw up just yet.") + +"I suppose it's the ring," he replied innocently. "You don't mean to say +you've got it back for me, Mr. Inspector? Well, I _am_ glad." + +"I thought you set no particular value on the ring when I met you last?" +said the other. + +"Why," said Leander, "I may have said so out of politeness, not wanting +to trouble you; but, as you said it was the statue you were after +chiefly, why, I don't mind admitting that I shall be thankful indeed to +get that ring back. And so you've brought it, have you, sir?" + +He said this so naturally, having called in all his powers of +dissimulation to help him in his extremity, that the detective was +favourably impressed. He had already felt a suspicion that he had been +sent here on a fool's errand, and no one could have looked less like a +daring criminal, and the trusted confederate of still more daring +ruffians, than did Leander at that moment. + +"Heard anything of Potter lately?" he asked, wishing to try the effect +of a sudden _coup_. + +"I don't know the gentleman," said Leander, firmly; for, after all, he +did not. + +"Now, take care. He's been seen to frequent this house. We know more +than you think, young man." + +"Oh! if he bluffs, _I_ can bluff too," passed through Leander's mind. +"Inspector Bilbow," he said, "I give you my sacred honour, I've never +set eyes on him. He can't have been here, not with my knowledge. It's my +belief you're trying to make out something against me. If you're a +friend, Inspector, you'll tell me straight out." + +"That's not our way of doing business; and yet, hang it, I ought to know +an honest man by this time! Tweddle, I'll drop the investigator, and +speak as man to man. You've been reported to me (never mind by whom) as +the receiver of the stolen Venus--a pal of this very Potter--that's what +I've against you, my man!" + +"I know who told you that," said Leander; "it was that Count and his +precious friend Braddle!" + +"Oh, you know them, do you? That's an odd guess for an innocent man, +Tweddle!" + +"They found me out from inquiries at the gardens," said Leander; "and as +for guessing, it's in this very paper. So it's me they've gone and +implicated, have they? All right. I suppose they're men whose word you'd +go by, wouldn't you, sir--truthful, reliable kind of parties, eh?" + +"None of that, Tweddle," said the Inspector, rather uneasily. "We +officers are bound to follow up any clue, no matter where it comes from. +I was informed that that Venus is concealed somewhere about these +premises. It may be, or it may not be; but it's my duty to make the +proper investigations. If you were a prince of the blood, it would be +all the same." + +"Well, all I can say is, that I'm as innocent as my own toilet +preparations. Ask yourself if it is likely. What could _I_ do with a +stolen statue--not to mention that I'm a respectable tradesman, with a +reputation to maintain? Excuse me, but I'm afraid those burglars have +been 'aving a lark with you, sir." + +He went just a little too far here, for the detective was visibly +irritated. + +"Don't chatter to me," he said. "If you're innocent, so much the better +for you; if that statue is found here after this, it will ruin you. If +you know anything, be it ever so little, about it, the best thing you +can do is to speak out while there's time." + +"I can only say, once more, I'm as innocent as the drivelling snow," +repeated Leander. "Why can't you believe my word against those +blackguards?" + +"Perhaps I do," said the other; "but I must make a formal look round, to +ease my conscience." + +Leander's composure nearly failed him. "By all means," he said at +length. "Come and ease your conscience all over the house, sir, do; I +can show you over." + +"Softly," said the detective. "I'll begin here, and work gradually up, +and then down again." + +"Here?" said Leander, aghast. "Why, you've seen all there is there!" + +"Now, Tweddle, I shall conduct this my own way, if _you_ please. I've +been following your eyes, Tweddle, and they've told me tales. I'll +trouble you to open that cupboard you keep looking at so." + +"This cupboard?" cried Leander. "Why, you don't suppose I've got the +Venus in there, sir!" + +"If it's anywhere, it's there! There's no taking me in, I tell you. Open +it!" + +"Oh!" said Leander, "it is hard to be the object of these cruel +suspicions. Mr. Inspector, listen to me. I can't open that cupboard, and +I'll tell you why.... You--you've been young yourself.... Think how +you'd feel in my situation ... and consider _her_! As a gentleman, you +won't press it, I'm sure!" + +"If I'm making any mistake, I shall know how to apologise," said the +Inspector. "If you don't open that cupboard, _I_ shall." + +"Never!" exclaimed Leander. "I'll die first!" and he threw himself upon +the handle. + +The other caught him by the shoulders, and sent him twirling into the +opposite corner; and then, taking a key from his own pocket, he opened +the door himself. + +"I--I never encouraged her!" whimpered Leander, as he saw that all was +lost. + +The officer had stepped back in silence from the cupboard; then he faced +Leander, with a changed expression. "I suppose you think yourself +devilish sharp?" he said savagely; and Leander discovered that the +cupboard was as bare as Mother Hubbard's! + +He was not precisely surprised, except at first. "She's keeping out of +the way; she wouldn't be the goddess she is if she couldn't do a +trifling thing like that!" was all he thought of the phenomenon. He +forced himself to laugh a little. + +"Excuse me," he said, "but you did seem so set on detecting something +wrong, that I couldn't help humouring you!" + +Inspector Bilbow was considerably out of humour, and gave Leander to +understand that he would laugh in a certain obscure region, known as +"the other side of his face," by-and-by. "You take care, that's my +advice to you, young man. I've a deuced good mind to arrest you on +suspicion as it is!" he said hotly. + +"Lor', sir!" said Leander, "what for--for not having anything in that +cupboard?" + +"It's my belief you know more than you choose to tell. Be that as it +may, I shall not take you into custody for the present; but you pay +attention to what I'm going to tell you next. Don't you attempt to leave +this house, or to remove anything from it, till you see me again, and +that'll be some time to-morrow evening. If you do attempt it, you'll be +apprehended at once, for you're being watched. I tell you that for your +own sake, Tweddle; for I've no wish to get you into trouble if you act +fairly by me. But mind you stay where you are for the next twenty-four +hours." + +"And what's to happen then?" said Leander. + +"I mean to have the whole house thoroughly searched and you must be +ready to give us every assistance--that's what's to happen. I might make +a secret of it; but where's the use? If you're not a fool, you'll see +that it won't do to play any tricks. You'd far better stand by me than +Potter." + +"I tell you I don't know Potter. _Blow_ Potter!" said Leander, warmly. + +"We shall see," was all the detective deigned to reply; "and just be +ready for my men to-morrow evening, or take the consequences. Those are +my last words to you!" + +And with this he took his leave. He was by no means the most brilliant +officer in the Department, and he felt uncomfortably aware that he did +not see his way clear as yet. He could not even make up his mind on so +elementary a point as Leander's guilt or innocence. + +But he meant to take the course he had announced, and his frankness in +giving previous notice was not without calculation. He argued thus: If +Tweddle was free from all complicity, nothing was lost by delaying the +search for a day; if he were guilty, he would be more than mortal if he +did not attempt, after such a warning, either to hide his booty more +securely, and probably leave traces which would betray him, or else to +escape when his guilt would be manifest. + +Unfortunately, there were circumstances in the case which he could not +be expected to know, and which made his logic inapplicable. + +After he had gone, Leander thrust his hands deep into his pockets, and +began to whistle forlornly. "A little while ago it was burglars--now +it's police!" he reflected aloud. "I'm going it, I am! And then there's +Matilda and that there Venus--one predickyment on top of another!" (But +here a sudden hope lightened his burden.) "Suppose she's took herself +off for good?" He was prevented from indulging this any further by a +long, low laugh, which came from the closed cupboard. + +"No such luck--she's back again!" he groaned. "Oh, _come_ out if you +want to. Don't stay larfin' at me in there!" + +The goddess stepped out, with a smile of subdued mirth upon her lips. +"Leander," she said, "did it surprise you just now that I had vanished?" + +"Oh," he said wearily, "I don't know--yes, I suppose so. You found some +way of getting through at the back, I dare say?" + +"Do you think that even now I cannot break through the petty restraints +of matter?" + +"Well, however it was managed, it was cleverly done. I must say that. I +didn't hardly expect it of you. But you must do the same to-morrow +night, mind you!" + +"Must I, indeed?" she said. + +"Yes, unless you want to ruin me altogether, you must. They're going to +search the premises _for you_!" + +"I have heard all," she said. "But give yourself no anxiety: by that +time you and I will be beyond human reach." + +"Not me," he corrected. "If you think I'm going to let myself be wafted +over to Cyprus (which is British soil now, let me tell you), you're +under a entire delusion. I've never been wafted anywhere yet, and I +don't mean to try it!" + +All her pent-up wrath broke forth and descended upon him with crushing +force. + +"Meanest and most contemptible of mortal men, you shall recognize me as +the goddess I am! I have borne with you too long; it shall end this +night. Shallow fool that you have been, to match your puny intellect +against a goddess famed for her wiles as for her beauty! You have +thought me simple and guileless; you have never feared to treat me with +disrespect; you have even dared to suppose that you could keep me--an +immortal--pent within these wretched walls! I humoured you; I let you +fool yourself with the notion that your will was free--your soul your +own. Now that is over! Consider the perils which encircle you. +Everything has been aiding to drive you into these arms. My hour of +triumph is at hand--yield, then! Cast yourself at my feet, and grovel +for pardon--for mercy--or assuredly I will spare you not!" + +Leander went down on all fours on the hearthrug. "Mercy!" he cried, +feebly. "I've meant no offence. Only tell me what you want of me." + +[Illustration: LEANDER WENT DOWN ON ALL FOURS ON THE HEARTH-RUG.] + +"Why should I tell you again? I demand the words from you which place +you within my power: speak them at once!" + +("Ah," thought Leander, "I am not in her power as it is, then.") "If I +was to tell you once more that I couldn't undertake to say any such +words?" he asked aloud. + +"Then," she said, "my patience would be at an end, and I would scatter +your vile frame to the four winds of heaven!" + +"Lady Venus," said Leander, getting up with a white and desperate face, +"don't drive me into a corner. I can't go off, not at a moment's +notice--in either way! I--I must have a day--only a day--to make my +arrangements in. Give me a day, Lady Venus; I ask it as a partickler +favour!" + +"Be it so," she said. "One day I give you in which to take leave of +such as may be dear to you; but, after that, I will listen to no further +pleadings. You are mine, and, all unworthy as you are, I shall hold you +to your pledge!" + +Leander was left with this terrible warning ringing in his ears: the +goddess would hold him to his involuntary pledge. Even he could see that +it was pride, and not affection, which rendered her so determined; and +he trembled at the thought of placing himself irrevocably in her power. + +But what was he to do? The alternative was too awful; and then, in +either case, he must lose Matilda. Here the recollection of how he had +left her came over him with a vivid force. What must she be thinking of +him at that moment? And who would ever tell her the truth, when he had +been spirited away for ever? + +"Oh, Matilda!" he cried, "if you only knew the hidgeous position I'm +in--if you could only advise me what to do--I could bear it better!" + +And then he resolved that he would ask that advice without delay, and +decide nothing until she replied. There was no reason for any further +concealment: she had seen the statue herself, and must know the worst. +What she could not know was his perfect innocence of any real +unfaithfulness to her, and that he must explain. + +He sat up all night composing a letter that should touch her to the +heart, with the following result:-- + + "MY OWN DEAREST GIRL, + + "If such you will still allow me to qualify you, I write to you in + a state of mind that I really 'ardly know what I am about, but I + cannot indure making no effort to clear up the gaping abiss which + the events of the past fatal afternoon has raised betwixt us. + + "In spite of all I could do, you have now seen, and been justly + alarmed at, the Person with whom I allowed myself to become + involved in such a unhappy and unprecedented manner, and having + done so, you can think for yourself whether that Art of Stone was + able for to supplant yours for a single moment, though the way in + which such a hidgeous Event transpired I can not trust my pen to + describe except in the remark that it was purely axidental. It all + appened on that ill-ominous Saturday when we went down to those + Gardens where my Doom was saving up to lay in wait for me, and I + scorn to deny that Bella's sister Ada was one of the party. But as + to anything serous in that quarter, oh Tilly the ole time I was + contrasting you with her and thinking how truly superior, and never + did I swerve not what could be termed a swerve for a instant. I did + dance arf a walz with her--but why? Because she asked me to it and + as a Gentleman I was bound to oblige! And that was afterwards too, + when I had put that ring on which is the sauce of all my recent + aggony. All the while I was dancing my thoughts were elsewhere--on + how I could get the ring back again, for so I still hoped I could, + though when I came to have a try, oh my dear girl no one couldn't + persuade her she's that obstinate, and yet unless I do it is all + over with me, and soon too! + + "And now if it's the last time I shall ever write words with a + mortal pen, I must request your support in this dilemmer which is + sounding its dread orns at my very door! + + "You know what she is and who she is, and you cannot doubt but what + she's a _goddess_ loath as you must feel to admit such a thing, and + I ask you if it would be downright wicked in me to do what she + tells me I must do. Indeed I wont do it, being no less than flying + with her immediate to a distant climb, and you know how repugnant I + am to such a action--not if you advise me against it or even if you + was but to assure me your affections were unchanged in spite of + all! But you know we parted under pigulier circs, and I cannot + disgise from myself that you may be thinking wuss of me than what + Matilda I can honestly say I deserve! + + "Now I tell you solimly that if this is the fact, and you've been + thinking of your proper pride and your womanly dignity and things + like that--there's _no time for to do it in_ Matilda, if you don't + want to break with me for all Eternity! + + "For she's pressing me to carry out the pledge, as she calls it, + and I must decide before this time to-morrow, and I want to feel + you are not lost to me before I can support my trial, and what with + countless perplexities and burglars threatening, and giving false + informations, and police searching, there's no saying what I may do + nor what I mayn't do if I'm left to myself, for indeed I am very + unappy Matilda, and if ever a man was made a Victim through acting + without intentions, or if with, of the best--I am that Party! O + Matilda don't, don't desert me, unless you have seased to care for + me, and in that contingency I can look upon my Fate whatever it be + with a apathy that will supply the courage which will not even + winch at its approach, but if I am still of value, come, and come + precious soon, or it will be too late to the Asistance of + + "Your truly penitent and unfortunate + + "LEANDER TWEDDLE. + + "P.S.--You will see the condition of my feelings from my + spelling--I haven't the hart to spell." + +Dawn was breaking as he put the final touches to this appeal, and read +it over with a gloomy approbation. He had always cherished the +conviction that he could "write a good letter when he was put to it," +and felt now that he had more than risen to the occasion. + +"William shall take it down to Bayswater the first thing to-morrow--no, +to-day, I mean," he said, rubbing his hot eyes. "I fancy it will do my +business!" + +And it did. + + + + +THE LAST STRAW + +XIII. + + "Thou in justice, + If from the height of majesty we can + Look down upon thy lowness and embrace it, + Art bound with fervour to look up to me." + + MASSINGER, _Roman Actor._ + + +Haggard and distraught was Leander as he went about his business that +morning, so mechanically that one customer, who had requested to have +his luxuriant locks "trimmed," found himself reduced to a state of penal +bullet-headedness before he could protest, and another sacrificed his +whiskers and part of one ear to the hairdresser's uninspired scissors. +For Leander's eyes were constantly turning to the front part of his +shop, where his apprentice might come in at any moment with the answer +to his appeal. + +At last the moment came when the bell fixed at the door sounded sharply, +and he saw the sleek head and chubby red face he had been so anxiously +expecting. He was busy with a customer; but that could not detain him +then, and he rushed quickly into the outer shop. "Well, William," he +said, breathlessly, "a nice time you've been over that message! I gave +you the money for your 'bus." + +"Yusser, but it was this way: you said a green 'bus, and I took a green +'bus with 'Bayswater' on it, and I didn't know nothing was wrong, and +when it stopped I sez to the conductor, 'This ain't Kensington +Gardings;' and he sez, 'No, it's Archer Street;' and I sez----" + +"Never mind that now; you got to the shop, didn't you?" + +"Yes, I got to the shop, sir, and I see the lady; but I sez to that +conductor, 'You should ha' told me,' I sez----" + +"Did she give you anything for me?" interrupted Leander, impatiently. + +"Yessur," said the boy. + +"Then where the dooce is it?" + +"'Ere!" said William, and brought out an envelope, which his master tore +open with joy. It contained his own letter! + +"William," he said unsteadily, "is this all?" + +"Ain't it enough, sir?" said the young scoundrel, who had guessed the +state of affairs, and felt an impish satisfaction at his employer's +rejection. + +"None of that, William; d'ye hear me?" said Leander. "William, I ain't +been a bad master to you. Tell me, how did she take it?" + +"Well, she didn't seem to want to take it nohow at first," said the boy. +"I went up to the desk where she was a-sittin' and gave it her, and +by-and-by she opened it with the tips of her fingers, as if it would +bite, and read it all through very careful, and I could see her nose +going up gradual, and her colour coming, and then she sez to me, 'You +may go now, boy; there's no answer.' And I sez to her, 'If you please, +miss, master said as I was not to go away without a answer.' So she sez, +uncommon short and stiff, 'In that case he shall have it!'--like that, +she says, as proud as a queen, and she scribbles a line or two on it, +and throws it to me, and goes on casting up figgers." + +"A line or two! where?" cried Leander, and caught up the letter again. +Yes, there on the last page was Matilda's delicate commercial +handwriting, and the poor man read the cruel words, "_I have nothing to +advise; I give you up to your 'goddess'!_" + +"Very well, William," he said, with a deadly calm; "that's all. You +young devil! what are you a-sniggering at?" he added, with a sudden +outburst. + +"On'y something I 'eard a boy say in the street, sir, going along, sir; +nothing to do with you, sir." + +"Oh, youth, youth!" muttered the poor broken man; "boys don't grow +feelings, any more than they grow whiskers!" + +And he went back to his saloon, where he was instantly hailed with +reproaches from the abandoned customer. + +"Look here, sir! what do you mean by this? I told you I wanted to be +shaved, and you've soaped the top of my head and left it to cool! +What"--and he made use of expletives here--"what are you about?" + +Leander apologized on the ground of business of a pressing nature, but +the customer was not pacified. + +"Business, sir! your business is _here_: _I'm_ your business! And I come +to be shaved, and you soap the top of my head, and leave me all alone to +dry! It's scandalous! it's----" + +"Look here, sir," interrupted Leander, gloomily; "I've a good deal of +private trouble to put up with just now, without having _you_ going on +at me; so I must ask you not to 'arris me like this, or I don't know +what I might do, with a razor so 'andy!" + +"That'll do!" said the customer, hastily. "I--I don't care about being +shaved this morning. Wipe my head, and let me go; no, I'll wipe it +myself,--don't you trouble!" and he made for the door. "It's my belief," +he said, pausing on the threshold for an instant, "that you're a +dangerous lunatic, sir; you ought to be shut up!" + +"I dessay I shall have a mad doctor down on me after this," thought +Leander; "but I shan't wait for _him_. No, it is all over now; the die +is fixed! Cruel Tillie! you have spoke the mandrake; you have thrust me +into the stony harms of that 'eathen goddess--always supposing the +police don't nip in fust, and get the start of her." + +No more customers came that day, which was fortunate, perhaps, for them. +The afternoon passed, and dusk approached, but the hairdresser sat on, +motionless, in his darkening saloon, without the energy to light a +single gas-jet. + +At last he roused himself sufficiently to go to the head of the stairs +leading to his "labatry," and call for William, who, it appeared, was +composing an egg-wash, after one of his employer's formulae, and came up, +wondering to find the place in darkness. + +"Come here, William," said Leander, solemnly. "I just want a few words +with you, and then you can go. I can do the shutting-up myself. William, +we can none of us foretell the future; and it may so 'appen that you are +looking on my face for the last time. If it should so be, William, +remember the words I am now about to speak, and lay them to 'art!... +This world is full of pitfalls; and some of us walk circumspect and keep +out of 'em, and some of us, William--some of us don't. If there's any +places more abounding in pitfalls than what others are, it is the +noxious localities known under the deceitful appellation of 'pleasure' +gardens. And you may take that as the voice of one calling to you from +the bottom of about as deep a 'ole as a mortal man ever plumped into. +And if ever you find a taste for statuary growing on you, William, keep +it down, wrastle with it, and don't encourage it. Farewell, William! Be +here at the usual time to-morrow, though whether you will find _me_ here +is more than I can say." + +The boy went away, much impressed by so elaborate and formal a parting, +which seemed to him a sign that, in his parlance, "the guv'nor was going +to make a bolt of it." + +Leander busied himself in some melancholy preparations for his impending +departure, dissolution, or incarceration; he was not very clear which it +might be. + +He went down and put his "labatry" in order. There he had worked with +all the fiery zeal of an inventor at the discoveries which were to +confer perpetual youth, in various sized bottles, upon a grateful world. +He must leave them all, with his work scarcely begun! Another would step +in and perfect what he had left incomplete! + +He came up again, with a heavy heart, and examined his till. There was +not much; enough, however, for William's wages and any small debts. He +made a list of these, and left it there with the coin. "They must settle +it among themselves," he thought, wearily; "I can't be bothered with +business now." + +He was thinking whether it was worth while to shut the shop up or not; +when a clear voice sounded from above-- + +"Leander, where art thou? Come hither!" + +And he started as if he had been shot. "I'm coming, madam," he called +up, obsequiously. "I'll be with you in one minute!" + +"Now for it," he thought, as he went up to his sitting-room. "I wish I +wasn't all of a twitter. I wish I knew what was coming next!" + +The room was dark, but when he got a light he saw the statue standing in +the centre of the room, her hood thrown back, and the fur-lined mantle +hanging loosely about her; the face looked stern and terrible under its +brilliant tint. + +"Have you made your choice?" she demanded. + +"Choice!" he said. "I haven't any choice left me!" + +"It is true," she said triumphantly. "Your friends have deserted you; +mortals are banded together to seize and disgrace you: you have no +refuge but with me. But time is short. Come, then, place yourself within +the shelter of these arms, and, while they enfold you tight in their +marble embrace, repeat after me the words which complete my power." + +"There's no partickler hurry," he objected. "I will directly. I--I only +want to know what will happen when I've done it. You can't have any +objection to a natural curiosity like that." + +"You will lose consciousness, to recover it in balmy Cyprus, with +Aphrodite (no longer cold marble, but the actual goddess, warm and +living), by your side! Ah! impervious one, can you linger still? Do you +not tremble with haste to feel my breath fanning your cheek, my soft arm +around your neck? Are not your eyes already dazzled by the gleam of my +golden tresses?" + +"Well, I can't say they are; not at present," said Leander. "And, you +see, it's all very well; but, as I asked you once before, how are you +going to _get_ me there? It's a long way, and I'm ten stone, if I'm an +ounce!" + +"Heavy-witted youth, it is not your body that will taste perennial +bliss." + +"And what's to become of that, then?" he asked, anxiously. + +"That will be left here, clasped to this stone, itself as cold and +lifeless." + +"Oh!" said Leander, "I didn't bargain for that, and I don't like it." + +"You will know nothing of it; you will be with me, in dreamy grottoes +strewn with fragrant rushes and the new-stript leaves of the vine, where +the warm air woos to repose with its languorous softness, and the water +as it wells murmurs its liquid laughter. Ah! no Greek would have +hesitated thus." + +"Well, I ain't a Greek; and, as a business man, you can't be surprised +if I want to make sure it's a genuine thing, and worth the risk, before +I commit myself. I think I understand that it's the gold ring which is +to bind us two together?" + +"It is," she said; "by that pure and noble metal are we united." + +"Well," said Leander, "that being so, I should wish to have it tested, +else there might be a hitch somewhere or other." + +"Tested!" she cried; "what is that?" + +"Trying it, to see if it's real gold or not," he said. "We can easily +have it done." + +"It is needless," she replied, haughtily. "I will not suffer my power to +be thus doubted, nor that of the pure and precious metal through which I +have obtained it!" + +Leander might have objected to this as an example of that obscure feat, +"begging the question;" for, whether the metal _was_ pure and precious, +was precisely the point he desired to ascertain. And this desire was +quite genuine; for, though he saw no other course before him but that +upon which the goddess insisted, he did wish to take every reasonable +precaution. + +"For all I know," he reasoned in his own mind, "if there's anything +wrong with that ring, I may be left 'igh and dry, halfway to Cyprus; or +she may get tired of me, and turn me out of those grottoes of hers! If I +must go with her, I should like to make things as safe as I could." + +"It won't take long," he pleaded; "and if I find the ring's real gold, I +promise I won't hold out any longer." + +"There is no time," she said, "to indulge this whim. Would you mock me, +Leander? Ha! did I not say so? Listen!" + +The private bell was ringing loudly. Leander rushed to the window, but +saw no one. Then he heard the clang of the shop bell, as if the person +or persons had discovered that an entrance was possible there. + +"The guards!" said the statue. "Will you wait for them, Leander?" + +"No!" he cried. "Never mind what I said about the ring; I'll risk that. +Only--only, don't go away without me.... Tell me what to say, and I'll +say it, and chance the consequences!" + +"Say, 'Aphrodite, daughter of Olympian Zeus, I yield; I fulfil the +pledge; I am thine!'" + +"Well," he thought, "here goes. Oh, Matilda, you're responsible for +this!" And he advanced towards the white extended arms of the goddess. +There were hasty steps outside; another moment and the door would be +burst open. + +"Aphrodite, daughter of----" he began, and recoiled suddenly; for he +heard his name called from without in a voice familiar and once dear to +him. + +"Leander, where are you? It's all dark! Speak to me; tell me you've +done nothing rash! Oh, Leander, it's Matilda!" + +That voice, which a short while back he would have given the world to +hear once more, appalled him now. For if she came in, the goddess would +discover who she was, and then--he shuddered to think what might happen +then! + +Matilda's hand was actually on the door. "Stop where you are!" he +shouted, in despair; "for mercy's sake, don't come in!" + +[Illustration: "STOP WHERE YOU ARE!... FOR MERCY'S SAKE, DON'T COME +IN!"] + +"Ah! you are there, and alive!" she cried. "I am not too late; and I +_will_ come in!" + +And in another instant she burst into the room, and stood there, her +tear-stained face convulsed with the horror of finding him in such +company. + + + + +THE THIRTEENTH TRUMP + +XIV. + + "Your adversary having thus secured the lead with the last trump, + you will be powerless to prevent the bringing-in of the long suit." + + ROUGH'S _Guide to Whist._ + + "What! thinkest thou that utterly in vain + Jove is my sire, and in despite my will + That thou canst mock me with thy beauty still?" + + _Story of Cupid and Psyche._ + + +Leander, when he wrote his distracted appeal to Matilda, took it for +granted that she had recognized the statue for something of a +supernatural order, and this, combined with his perplexed state of mind, +caused him to be less explicit than he might have been in referring to +the goddess's ill-timed appearance. + +But, unfortunately, as will probably have been already anticipated, the +only result of this reticence was, that Matilda saw in his letter an +abject entreaty for her consent to his marriage with Ada Parkinson, to +avoid legal proceedings, and, under this misapprehension, she wrote the +line that abandoned all claims upon him, and then went on with her +accounts, which were not so neatly kept that day as usual. + +What she felt most keenly in Leander's conduct was, that he should have +placed the ring, which to all intent was her own, upon the finger of +another. She could not bear to think of so unfeeling an act, and yet she +thought of it all through the long day, as she sat, outwardly serene, at +her high desk, while her attendants at her side made up sprays for +dances and wreaths for funerals from the same flowers. + +And at last she felt herself urged to a course which, in her ordinary +mind, she would have shrunk from as a lowering of her personal dignity: +she would go and see her rival, and insist that this particular +humiliation should be spared her. The ring was not Leander's to dispose +of--at least, to dispose of thus; it was not right that any but herself +should wear it; and, though the token could never now be devoted to its +rightful use, she wanted to save it from what, in her eyes, was a kind +of profanation. + +She would not own it to herself, but there was a motive stronger than +all this--the desire to relieve her breast of some of the indignation +which was choking her, and of which her pride forbade any betrayal to +Leander himself. + +This other woman had supplanted her; but she should be made to feel the +wrong she had done, and her triumphs should be tempered with shame, if +she were capable of such a sensation. Matilda knew very well that the +ring was not hers, and she wanted it no longer; but, then, it was Miss +Tweddle's, and she would claim it in her name. + +She easily obtained permission to leave somewhat earlier that evening, +as she did not often ask such favours, and soon found herself at Madame +Chenille's establishment, where she remembered to have heard from Bella +that her sister was employed. + +She asked for the forewoman, and begged to be allowed to speak to Miss +Parkinson in private for a very few minutes; but the forewoman referred +her to the proprietress, who made objections: such a thing was never +permitted during business hours, the shop would close in an hour, till +then Miss Parkinson was engaged in the showroom, and so on. + +But Matilda carried her point at last, and was shown to a room in the +basement, where the assistants took their meals, there to wait until +Miss Parkinson could be spared from her duties. + +Matilda waited in the low, dingy room, where the tea-things were still +littering the table, and as she paced restlessly about, trying to feel +an interest in the long-discarded fashion-plates which adorned the +walls, her anger began to cool, and give place to something very like +nervousness. + +She wished she had not come. What, after all, was she to say to this +girl when they met? And what was Leander--base and unworthy as he had +shown himself--to her any longer? Why should she care what he chose to +do with the ring? And he would be told of her visit, and think----No! +that was intolerable: she would not gratify his vanity and humble +herself in this way. She would slip quietly out, and leave her rival to +enjoy her victory! + +But, just as she was going to carry out this intention, the door opened, +and a short, dark young woman appeared. "I'm told there was a young +person asking to speak to me," she said; "I'm Ada Parkinson." + +At the name, Matilda's heart swelled again with the sense of her +injuries; and yet she was unprepared for the face that met her eyes. +Surely her rival had both looked and spoken differently the night +before? And yet, she had been so agitated that very likely her +recollections were not to be depended upon. + +"I--I did want to see you," she said, and her voice shook, as much from +timidity as righteous indignation. "When I tell you who I am, perhaps +you will guess why. I am Matilda Collum." + +Miss Parkinson showed no symptoms of remorse. "What!" she cried, "the +young lady that Mr. Tweddle is courting? Fancy!" + +"After what happened last night," said Matilda, trembling exceedingly, +"you know that that is all over. I didn't come to talk about that. If +you knew--and I think you must have known--all that Mr. Tweddle was to +me, you have--you have not behaved very well; but he is nothing to me +any more, and it is not worth while to be angry. Only, I don't think you +ought to keep the ring--not _that_ ring!" + +"Goodness gracious me!" cried Ada. "What in the world is all this about? +What ring oughtn't I to keep?" + +"You know!" retorted Matilda. "How can you pretend like that? The ring +he gave you that night at Rosherwich!" + +"The girl's mad!" exclaimed the other. "He never gave me a ring in all +his life! I wouldn't have taken it, if he'd asked me ever so. Mr. +Tweddle indeed!" + +"Why do you say that?" said Matilda. "He has not got it himself, and +your sister said he gave it to you, and--and I saw it with my own eyes +on your hand!" + +"Oh, _dear_ me!" said Ada, petulantly, holding out her hand, "look +there--is that it?--is this? Well, these are all that I have, whether +you believe me or not; one belonged to my poor mother, and the other was +a present, only last Friday, from the gentleman that's their head +traveller, next door, and is going to be my husband. Is it likely that +I should be wearing any other now?--ask yourself!" + +"You wouldn't wish to deceive me, I hope," said Matilda; "and oh, Miss +Parkinson, you might be open with me, for I'm so very miserable! I don't +know what to think. Tell me just this: did you--wasn't it you who came +last night to Miss Tweddle's?" + +"No!" returned Ada, impatiently--"no, as many times as you please! And +if Bella likes to say I did, she may; and she always was a +mischief-making thing! How could I, when I didn't know there was any +Miss Tweddle to come to? And what do you suppose I should go running +about after Mr. Tweddle for? I wonder you're not ashamed to say such +things!" + +"But," faltered Matilda, "you did go to those gardens with him, didn't +you? And--and I know he gave the ring to somebody!" + +Ada began to laugh. "You're quite correct, Miss Collum," she said; "so +he did. Don't you want to know who he gave it to?" + +"Yes," said Matilda, "and you will tell me. I have a right to be told. I +was engaged to him, and the ring was given to him for me--not for any +one else. You _will_ tell me, Miss Parkinson, I am sure you will?" + +"Well," said Ada, still laughing, "I'll tell you this much--she's a +foreign lady, very stiff and stuck-up and cold. She's got it, if any one +has. I saw him put it on myself!" + +"Tell me her name, if you know it." + +"I see you won't be easy till you know all about it. Her name's +Afriddity, or Froddity, or something outlandish like that. She lives at +Rosherwich, a good deal in the open air, and--there, don't be +ridiculous--it's only a _statue_! There's a pretty thing to be jealous +of!" + +"Only a statue!" echoed Matilda. "Oh! Heaven be with us both, if--if +that was It!" + +Certain sentences in the letter she had returned came to her mind with a +new and dreadful significance. The appearance of the visitor last +night--Leander's terror--all seemed to point to some unsuspected +mystery. + +"It can't be--no, it can't! Miss Parkinson, you were there: tell me all +that happened, quick! You don't know what may depend on it!" + +"What! not satisfied even now?" cried Ada. "_Well_, Miss Collum, talk +about jealousy! But, there, I'll tell you all I know myself." + +And she gave the whole account of the episode with the statue, so far as +she knew it, even to the conversation which led to the production of the +ring. + +"You see," she concluded, "that it was all on your account that he tried +it on at all, and I'm sure he talked enough about you all the evening. I +really was a little surprised when I found _you_ were his Miss Collum. +(You won't mind my saying so?) If I was you, I should go and tell him I +forgave him, now. I do think he deserves it, poor little man!" + +"Yes, yes!" cried Matilda; "I'll go--I'll go at once! Thank you, Miss +Parkinson, for telling me what you have!" And then, as she remembered +some dark hints in Leander's letter: "Oh, I must make haste! He may be +going to do something desperate--he may have done it already!" + +And, leaving Miss Parkinson to speculate as she pleased concerning her +eccentricity, she went out into the broad street again; and, +unaccustomed as she was to such expenditure, hailed a hansom; for there +was no time to be lost. + +She had told the man to drive to the Southampton Row Passage at first, +but, as she drew nearer, she changed her purpose; she did not like to go +alone, for who knew what she might see there? It was out of the question +to expect her mother to accompany her, but her friend and landlady would +not refuse to do so; and she drove to Millman Street, and prevailed on +Miss Tweddle to come with her without a moment's delay. + +The two women found the shop dark, but unshuttered; there was a light in +the upper room. "You stay down here, please," said Matilda; "if--if +anything is wrong, I will call you." And Miss Tweddle, without very well +understanding what it was all about, and feeling fluttered and out of +breath, was willing enough to sit down in the saloon and recover +herself. + +And so it came to pass that Matilda burst into the room just as the +hairdresser was preparing to pronounce the inevitable words that would +complete the goddess's power. He stood there, pale and dishevelled, with +eyes that were wild and bordered with red. Opposite to him was the being +she had once mistaken for a fellow-creature. + +Too well she saw now that the tall and queenly form, with the fixed eyes +and cold tinted mask, was inspired by nothing human; and her heart died +within her as she gazed, spellbound, upon her formidable rival. + +"Leander," she murmured, supporting herself against the frame of the +door, "what are you going to do?" + +"Keep back, Matilda!" he cried desperately; "go away--it's too late +now!" + +A moment before, and, deserted as he believed himself to be by love and +fortune alike, he had been almost resigned to the strange and shadowy +future which lay before him; but now--now that he saw Matilda there in +his room, no longer scornful or indifferent, but pale and concerned, her +pretty grey eyes dark and wide with anguish and fear for him--he felt +all he was giving up; he had a sudden revulsion, a violent repugnance to +his doom. + +She loved him still! She had repented for some reason. Oh! why had she +not done so before? What could he do now? For her own sake he must steel +himself to tell her to leave him to his fate; for he knew well that if +the goddess were to discover Matilda's real relations to him, it might +cost his innocent darling her life! + +For the moment he rose above his ordinary level. He lost all thought of +self. Let Aphrodite take him if she would, but Matilda must be saved. +"Go away!" he repeated; and his voice was cracked and harsh, under the +strain of doing such violence to his feelings. "Can't you see +you're--you're not wanted? Oh, do go away--while you can!" + +Matilda closed the door behind her. "Do you think," she said, catching +her breath painfully, "that I shall go away and leave you with That!" + +"Leander," said the statue, "command your sister to depart!" + +"I'm _not_ his"--Matilda was beginning impetuously, till the hairdresser +stopped her. + +"You _are_!" he cried. "You know you're my sister--you've forgotten it, +that's all.... Don't say a syllable now, do you hear me? She's going, +Lady Venus, going directly!" + +"Indeed I'm not," said Matilda, bravely. + +"Leave us, maiden!" said the statue. "Your brother is yours no longer, +he is mine. Know you who it is that commands? Tremble then, nor oppose +the will of Aphrodite of the radiant eyes!" + +"I never heard of you before," said Matilda, "but I'm not afraid of you. +And, whoever or whatever you are, you shall not take my Leander away +against his will. Do you hear? You could never be allowed to do that!" + +The statue smiled with pitying scorn. "His own act has given me the +power I hold," she said, "and assuredly he shall not escape me!" + +"Listen," pleaded Matilda; "perhaps you are not really wicked, it is +only that you don't know! The ring he put--without ever thinking what he +was doing--on your finger was meant for mine. It was, really! He is my +lover; give him back to me!" + +"Matilda!" shrieked the wretched man, "you don't know what you're doing. +Run away, quick! Do as I tell you!" + +"So," said the goddess, turning upon him, "in this, too, you have tried +to deceive me! You have loved--you still love this maiden!" + +"Oh, not in that way!" he shouted, overcome by his terror for Matilda. +"There's some mistake. You mustn't pay any attention to what she says: +she's excited. All my sisters get like that when they're excited--they'd +say _any_thing!" + +"Silence!" commanded the statue. "Should not I have skill to read the +signs of love? This girl loves you with no sister's love. Deny it not!" + +Leander felt that his position was becoming untenable; he could only +save Matilda by a partial abandonment. "Well, suppose she does," he +said, "I'm not obliged to return it, am I?" + +Matilda shrank back. "Oh, Leander!" she cried, with a piteous little +moan. + +"You've brought it on yourself!" he said; "you will come here +interfering!" + +"Interfering!" she repeated wildly, "you call it that! How can I help +myself? Am I to stand by and see you giving yourself up to, nobody can +tell what? As long as I have strength to move and breath to speak I +shall stay here, and beg and pray of you not to be so foolish and wicked +as to go away with her! How do you know where she will take you to?" + +"Cease this railing!" said the statue. "Leander loves you not! Away, +then, before I lay you dead at my feet!" + +"Leander," cried the poor girl, "tell me: it isn't true what she says? +You didn't mean it! you _do_ love me! You don't really want me to go +away?" + +For her own sake he must be cruel; but he could scarcely speak the words +that were to drive her from his side for ever. "This--this lady," he +said, "speaks quite correct. I--I'd very much rather you went!" + +She drew a deep sobbing breath. "I don't care for anything any more!" +she said, and faced the statue defiantly. "You say you can strike me +dead," she said: "I'm sure I hope you can! And the sooner the +better--for I will not leave this room!" + +The dreamy smile still curved the statue's lips, in terrible contrast to +the inflexible purpose of her next words. + +"You have called down your own destruction," she said, "and death shall +be yours!" + +"Stop a bit," cried Leander, "mind what you're doing! Do you think I'll +go with you if you touch a single hair of my poor Tillie's head? Why, +I'd sooner stay in prison all my life! See here," and he put his arm +round Matilda's slight form; "if you crush her, you crush me--so now!" + +"And if so," said the goddess, with cruel contempt, "are you of such +value in my sight that I should stay my hand? You, whom I have sought +but to manifest my power, for no softer feelings have you ever +inspired! And now, having withstood me for so long, you turn, even at +the moment of yielding, to yonder creature! And it is enough. I will +contend no longer for so mean a prize! Slave and fool that you have +shown yourself, Aphrodite rejects you in disdain!" + +Leander made no secret of his satisfaction at this. "Now you talk +sense!" he cried. "I always told you we weren't suited. Tillie, do you +hear? She gives me up! She gives me up!" + +"Aye," she continued, "I need you not. Upon you and the maiden by your +side I invoke a speedy and terrible destruction, which, ere you can +attempt to flee, shall surely overtake you!" + +Leander was so overcome by this highly unexpected sentence that he lost +all control over his limbs; he could only stand where he was, supporting +Matilda, and stare at the goddess in fascinated dismay. + +The goddess was raising both hands, palm upwards, to the ceiling, and +presently she began to chant in a thrilling monotone: "Hear, O Zeus, +that sittest on high, delighting in the thunder, hear the prayer of thy +daughter, Aphrodite the peerless, as she calleth upon thee, nor suffer +her to be set at nought with impunity! Rise now, I beseech thee, and +hurl with thine unerring hand a blazing bolt that shall consume these +presumptuous insects to a smoking cinder! Blast them, Sire, with the +fire-wreaths of thy lightning! blast, and spare not!" + +"Kiss me, Tillie, and shut your eyes," said Leander; "it's coming!" + +She was nestling close against him, and could not repress a faint +shivering moan. "I don't mind, now we're together," she whispered, "if +only it won't hurt much!" + +The prayer uttered with such deadly intensity had almost ceased to +vibrate in their ears, but still the answer tarried; it tarried so long +that Leander lost patience, and ventured to open his eyes a little way. +He saw the goddess standing there, with a strained expectation on her +upturned face. + +"I don't wish to hurry you, mum," he said tremulously; "but you ought to +be above torturing us. Might I ask you to request your--your relation to +look sharp with that thunderbolt?" + +"Zeus!" cried the goddess, and her accent was more acute, "thou hast +heard--thou wilt not shame me thus! Must I go unavenged?" + +Still nothing whatever happened, until at last even Matilda unclosed her +eyes. "Leander!" she cried, with a hysterical little laugh, "_I don't +believe she can do it!_" + +[Illustration: "LEANDER!" SHE CRIED, ... "I DON'T BELIEVE SHE CAN DO +IT!"] + +"No more don't I!" said the hairdresser, withdrawing his arm, and coming +forward boldly. "Now look here, Lady Venus," he remarked, "it's time +there was an end of this, one way or the other; we can't be kept up here +all night, waiting till it suits your Mr. Zooce to make cockshies of us. +Either let him do it now, or let it alone!" + +The statue's face seemed to be illumined by a stronger light. "Zeus, I +thank thee!" she exclaimed, clasping her pale hands above her head; "I +am answered! I am answered!" + +And, as she spoke, a dull ominous rumble was heard in the distance. + +"Matilda, here!" cried the terrified hairdresser, running back to his +betrothed; "keep close to me. It's all over this time!" + +The rumble increased to a roll, which became a clanking rattle, and +then lessened again to a roll, died away to the original rumble, and was +heard no more. + +Leander breathed again. "To think of my being taken in like that!" he +cried. "Why, it's only a van out in the street! It's no good, mum; you +can't work it: you'd better give it up!" + +The goddess seemed to feel this herself, for she was wringing her hands +with a low wail of despair. "Is there none to hear?" she lamented. "Are +they all gone--all? Then is Aphrodite fallen indeed; deserted of the +gods, her kinsmen; forgotten of mortals; braved and mocked by such as +these! Woe! woe! for Olympus in ruins, and Time the dethroner of +deities!" + +Leander would hardly have been himself if he had forborne to take +advantage of her discomfiture. "You see, mum," he said, "you're not +everybody. You mustn't expect to have everything your own way down here. +We're in the nineteenth century nowadays, mum, and there's another +religion come in since you were the fashion!" + +"_Don't_, Leander!" said Matilda, in an undertone; "let her alone, the +poor thing!" + +She seemed to have quite forgotten that her fallen enemy had been +dooming her to destruction the moment before; but there was something so +tragic and moving in the sight of such despair that no true woman could +be indifferent to it. + +Either the taunt or the compassion, however, roused the goddess to a +frenzy of passion. "Hold your peace!" she said fiercely, and strode down +upon Leander until he beat an instinctive retreat. "Fallen as I am, I +will not brook your mean vauntings or insolent pity! Shorn I may be of +my ancient power, but something of my divinity clings to me still. +Vengeance is not wholly denied to me! Why should I not deal with you +even as with those profane wretches who laid impious hands upon this my +effigy? Why? why?" + +Leander began to feel uncomfortable again. "If I've said anything you +object to," he said hastily, "I'll apologise. I will--and so will +Matilda--freely and full; in writing, if that will satisfy you!" + +"Tremble not for your worthless bodies," she said; "had you been slain, +as I purposed, you would but have escaped me, after all! Now a vengeance +keener and more enduring shall be mine! In your gross blindness, you +have dared to turn from divine Aphrodite to such a thing as this, and +for your impiety you shall suffer! This is your doom, and so much at +least I can still accomplish: Long as you both may live, strong as your +love may endure, never again shall you see her alone, never more shall +she be folded to your breast! For ever, I will stand a barrier between +you: so shall your days consume away in the torturing desire for a +felicity you may never attain!" + +"It seems to me, Tillie," said Leander, looking round at her with hollow +eyes, "that we may as well give up keeping company together, after +that!" + +Matilda had been weeping quietly. "Oh no, Leander, not that! Don't let +us give each other up: we may--we may get used to it!" + +"That is not all," said the revengeful goddess. "I understand but little +of the ways of this degenerate age. But one thing I know: this very +night, guards are on their way to search this abode for the image in +which I have chosen to reveal myself; and, should they find that they +are in search of, you will be dragged to some dungeon, and suffer +deserved ignominy. It pleased me yesternight to shield you: to-night, +be very sure that this marble form shall not escape their vigilance!" + +He felt at once that this, at least, was no idle threat. The police +might arrive at any instant; she had only to vacate the marble at the +moment of their entry--and what could he do? How could he explain its +presence? The gates of Portland or Dartmoor were already yawning to +receive him! Was it too late, even then, to retrieve the situation? "If +it wasn't for Tillie, I could see my way to something, even now," he +thought. "I can but try!" + +"Lady Venus," he began, clearing his throat, "it's not my desire to be +the architect of any mutual unpleasantness--anything but! I don't see +any use in denying that you've got the best of it. I'm done--reg'lar +bowled over; and if ever there was a poor devil of a toad under a +harrer, I've no hesitation in admitting that toad's me! So the only +point I should like to submit for your consideration is this: Have +things gone too far? Are you quite sure you won't be spiting yourself as +well as me over this business? Can't we come to an amicable arrangement? +Think it over!" + +"Leander, you can't mean it!" cried Matilda. + +"You leave me alone," he said hoarsely; "I know what I'm saying!" + +Whether the goddess had overstated her indifference, or whether she may +have seen a prospect of some still subtler revenge, she certainly did +not receive this proposition of Leander's with the contumely that might +have been expected; on the contrary, she smiled with a triumphant +satisfaction that betrayed a disposition to treat. + +"Have my words been fulfilled, then?" she asked. "Is your insolent pride +humbled at last? and do you sue to me for the very favours you so long +have spurned?" + +"You can put it that way if you like," he said doggedly. "If you want +me, you'd better say so while there's time, that's all!" + +"Little have you merited such leniency," she said; "and yet, it is to +you I owe my return to life and consciousness. Shall I abandon what I +have taken such pains to win? No! I accept your submission. Speak, then, +the words of surrender, and let us depart together!" + +"Before I do that," he said firmly, "there's one point I must have +settled to my satisfaction." + +"You can bargain still!" she exclaimed haughtily. "Are all barbers like +you? If your point concerns the safety of this maiden, be at ease; she +shall go unharmed, for she is my rival no longer!" + +"Well, it wasn't that exactly," he explained; "but I'm doubtful about +that ring being the genuine article, and I want to make sure." + +"But a short time since, and you were willing to trust all to me!" + +"I was; but, if I may take the liberty of observing so, things were +different then. You were wrong about that thunderbolt--you may be wrong +about the ring!" + +"Fool!" she said, "how know you that the quality of the token concerns +my power? Were it even of unworthy metal, has it not brought me hither?" + +"Yes," he said, "but it mightn't be strong enough to pass _me_ the whole +distance, and where should I be then? It don't look more to me than 15 +carat, and I daren't run any extra risk." + +"How, then, can your doubts be set at rest?" she demanded. + +"Easy," he replied: "there are men who understand these things. All I +ask of you is to step over with me, and see one of them, and take his +opinion; and if he says it's gold--why, then I shall know where I am!" + +"Aphrodite submit her claims to the judgment of a mortal!" she cried. +"Never will I thus debase myself!" + +"Very well," he said, "then we must stay where we are. All I can say is, +I've made you a fair offer." + +She paused. "Why not?" she said dreamily, as if thinking aloud. "Have +not I sued ere this for the decision of a shepherd judge--even of Paris? +'Tis but one last indignity, and then--he is mine indeed! Leander," she +added graciously, "it shall be as you will. Lead the way; I follow!" + +But Matilda, who had been listening to this compromise with incredulous +horror, clung in desperation to her lover's arm, and sought to impede +his flight. "Leander!" she cried, "oh, Leander! surely you won't be mad +enough to go away with her! You won't be so wicked and sinful as that! +Remember who she is: one of the false gods of the poor benighted +heathens--she owned it herself! She's nothing less than a live idol! +Think of all the times we've been to chapel together; think of your dear +aunt, and how she'll feel your being in such awful company! Let the +police come, and think what they like: we'll tell them the truth, and +make them believe it. Only be brave, and stay here with me; don't let +her ensnare you! Have some pity for me; for, if you leave me, I shall +die!" + +"Already the guards are at your gates," said the statue; "choose +quickly--while you may!" + +He put Matilda gently from him: "Tillie," he said, with a convulsive +effort to remain calm, "you gave me up of your own free will--you know +that--and now you've come round too late. The other lady spoke first!" + +As she still clung to him, he tried to whisper some last words of a +consoling or reassuring nature, and she suddenly relaxed her grasp, and +allowed him to make his escape without further dissuasion--not that his +arguments had reconciled her to his departure, but because she was +mercifully unaware of it. + + + + +THE ODD TRICK + +XV. + + "O heart of stone, are you flesh, and caught + By that you swore to withstand?" + + _Maud._ + + +Outside on the stairs Leander suddenly remembered that his purpose +might be as far as ever from being accomplished. The house was being +watched: to be seen leaving it would procure his instant arrest. + +Hastily excusing himself to the goddess, he rushed down to his +laboratory, where he knew there was a magnificent beard and moustache +which he had been constructing for some amateur theatricals. With these, +and a soft felt hat, he completed a disguise in which he flattered +himself he was unrecognisable. + +The goddess, however, penetrated it as soon as he rejoined her. "Why +have you thus transformed yourself?" she inquired coldly. + +"Because," explained Leander, "seeing the police are all on the look-out +for me, I thought it couldn't do any harm." + +"It is useless!" she returned. + +"To be sure," he agreed blankly, "they'll expect me to go out disguised. +If only they aren't up to the way out by the back! That's our only +chance now." + +"Leave all to me," she replied calmly; "with Aphrodite you are safe." + +And he never did quite understand how that strange elopement was +effected, or even remember whether they left the house from the front or +rear. The statue glided swiftly on, and, grasping a corner of her robe, +he followed, with only the vaguest sense of obstacles overcome and +passed as in a dream. + +By the time he had completely regained his senses he was in a crowded +thoroughfare, which he recognised as the Gray's Inn Road. + +A certain scheme from which, desperate as it was, he hoped much, might +be executed as well here as elsewhere, and he looked about him for the +aid on which he counted. + +"Where, then, lives the wise man whom you would consult?" said +Aphrodite. + +Leander went on until he could see the coloured lights of a chemist's +window, and then he said, "There--right opposite!" + +He felt strangely nervous himself, but the goddess seemed even more so. +She hung back all at once, and clutched his arm in her marble grasp. + +"Leander," she said, "I will not go! See those liquid fires glowing in +lurid hues, like the eyes of some dread monster! This test of yours is +needless, and I fear it." + +"Lady Venus," he said earnestly, "I do assure you they're only big +bottles, and quite harmless too, having water in them, not physic. +You've no call to be alarmed." + +She yielded, and they crossed the road. The shop was small and +unpretending. In the window the chief ornaments were speckled plaster +limbs clad in elastic socks, and photographs of hideous complaints +before and after treatment with a celebrated ointment; and there were +certain trophies which indicated that the chemist numbered dentistry +among his accomplishments. + +Inside, the odour of drugs prevailed, in the absence of the subtle +perfume that is part of the fittings of a fashionable apothecary, and on +the very threshold the goddess paused irresolute. + +"There is magic in the air," she exclaimed, "and fearful poisons. This +man is some enchanter!" + +"Now I put it to you," said Leander, with some impatience, "does he +_look_ it?" + +The chemist was a mild little man, with a high forehead, round +spectacles, a little red beak of a nose, and a weak grey beard. As they +entered, he was addressing a small and draggled child from behind his +counter. "Go back and tell your mother," he said, "that she must come +herself. I never sell paregoric to children." + +There was so little of the wizard in his manner that the goddess, who +possibly had some reason to mistrust a mortal magician, was reassured. + +As the child retired, the chemist turned to them with a look of bland +and dignified inquiry (something, perhaps the consciousness of having +once passed an examination, sustains the meekest chemist in an inward +superiority). He did not speak. + +Leander took it upon himself to explain. "This lady would be glad to be +told whether a ring she's got on is the real article or only imitation," +he said, "so she thought you could decide it for her." + +"Not so," corrected the goddess, austerely. "For myself I care not!" + +"Have it your own way!" said Leander. "_I_ should like to be told, then. +I suppose, mister, you've some way of testing these things?" + +"Oh yes," said the chemist; "I can treat it for you with what we call +_aquafortis_, a combination of nitric and hydrochloric acid, which would +tell us at once. I ought to mention, perhaps, that so extremely powerful +an agent may injure the appearance of the metal if it is of inferior +quality. Will the lady oblige me with the ring?" + +Aphrodite extended her hand with haughty indifference. The chemist +examined the ring as it circled her finger, and Leander held his breath +in tortures of anxiety. A horrible fear came over him that his deep-laid +scheme was about to end in failure. + +But the chemist remarked at last: "Exactly; thank you, madam. The gold +is antique, certainly; but I should be inclined to pronounce it, at +first sight, genuine. I will ascertain how this is, if you will take the +trouble to remove the ring and pass it over!" + +"Why?" demanded Aphrodite, obstinately. + +"I could not undertake to treat it while it remains upon your hand," he +protested. "The acid might do some injury!" + +"It matters not!" she said calmly; and Leander recollected with horror +that, as any injury to her statue would have no physical effect upon the +goddess herself, she could not be much influenced by the chemist's +reason. + +"Do what the gentleman tells you," he said, in an eager whisper, as he +drew her aside. + +"I know your wiles, O perfidious one," she said. "Having induced me to +remove this token, you would seize it yourself, and take to flight! I +will not remove this ring!" + +"There's a thing to say!" said Leander; "there's a suspicion to throw +against a man! If you think I'm likely to do that, I'll go right over +here, where I can't even see it, and I won't stir out till it's all +over. Will that satisfy you? You know why I'm so anxious about that +ring; and now, when the gentleman tells you he's almost sure it's +gold----" + +"It _is_ gold!" said the goddess. + +"If you're so sure about it," he retaliated, "why are you afraid to have +it proved?" + +"I am not afraid," she said; "but I require no proof!" + +"I do," he retorted, "and what I told you before I stand to. If that +ring is proved--in the only way it can be proved, I mean, by this +gentleman testing it as he tells you he can--then there's no more to be +said, and I'll go away with you like a lamb. But without that proof I +won't stir a step, and so I tell you. It won't take a moment. You can +see for yourself that I couldn't possibly catch up the ring from here!" + +"Swear to me," she said, "that you will remain where you now stand; and +remember," she added, with an accent of triumph, "our compact is that, +should yonder man pronounce that the ring has passed through the test +with honour, you will follow me whithersoever I bid you!" + +"You have only to lead the way," he said, "and I promise you faithfully +I'll follow." + +Goddesses may be credited with some knowledge of the precious metals, +and Aphrodite had no doubt of the result of the chemist's +investigations. So it was with an air of serene anticipation that she +left Leander upon this, and advanced to the chemist's counter. + +"Prove it now," she said, "quickly, that I may go!" + +The chemist, who had been waiting in considerable bewilderment, prepared +himself to receive the ring, and Leander, keeping his distance, felt his +heart beating fast as Aphrodite slowly drew the token from her finger, +and placed it in the chemist's outstretched hand. + +Scarcely had she done so, as the chemist was retiring with the ring to +one of his lamps, before the goddess seemed suddenly aware that she had +committed a fatal error. + +She made a stride forward to follow and recover it; but, as if some +unseen force was restraining her, she stopped short, and a rush of +whirling words, in some tongue unknown both to Leander and the chemist, +forced its way through lips that smiled still, though they were freezing +fast. + +Then, with a strange hoarse cry of baffled desire and revenge, she +succeeded, by a violent effort, in turning, and bore down with +tremendous force upon the cowering hairdresser, who gave himself up at +once for lost. + +But the marble was already incapable of obeying her will. Within a few +paces from him the statue stopped for the last time, with an abruptness +that left it quivering and rocking. A greyish hue came over the face, +causing the borrowed tints to stand forth, crude and glaring; the arms +waved wildly and impotently once or twice, and then grew still for ever, +in the attitude conceived long since by the Grecian sculptor! + +Leander was free! His hazardous experiment had succeeded. As it was the +ring which had brought the passionate, imperious goddess into her marble +counterfeit, so--the ring once withdrawn--her power was instantly at an +end, and the spell which had enabled her to assume a form of stone was +broken. + +He had hoped for this, had counted upon it, but even yet hardly dared to +believe in his deliverance. + +He had not done with it yet, however; for he would have to get the +statue out of that shop, and abandon it in some manner which would not +compromise himself, and it is by no means an easy matter to mislay a +life-size and invaluable antique without attracting an inconvenient +amount of attention. + +The chemist, who had been staring meanwhile in blank astonishment, now +looked inquiringly at Leander, who looked helplessly at him. + +At last the latter, unable to be silent any longer, said, "The lady +seems unwell, sir." + +"Why," Leander admitted, "she does appear a little out of sorts." + +"Has she had these attacks before, do you happen to know?" + +"She's more often like this than not," said Leander. + +"Dear me, sir; but that's very serious. Is there nothing that gives +relief?--a little sal volatile, now? Does the lady carry smelling salts? +If not, I could----" And the chemist made an offer to come from behind +his counter to examine the strange patient. + +"No," said Leander, hastily. "Don't you trouble--you leave her to me. I +know how to manage her. When she's rigid like this, she can't bear to be +taken notice of." + +He was wondering all the time how he was to get away with her, until the +chemist, who seemed at least as anxious for her departure, suggested the +answer: "I should imagine the poor lady would be best at home. Shall I +send out for a cab?" he asked. + +"Yes," said Leander, gratefully; "bring a hansom. She'll come round +better in the open air;" for he had his doubts whether the statue could +be stowed inside a four-wheeler. + +"I'll go myself," said the obliging man; "my assistant's out. Perhaps +the lady will sit down till the cab comes?" + +"Thanks," said Leander; "but when she's like this, she's been +recommended to stand." + +The chemist ran out bare-headed, to return presently with a cab and a +small train of interested observers. He offered the statue his arm to +the cab-door, an attention which was naturally ignored. + +"We shall have to carry her there," said Leander. + +"Why, bless me, sir," said the chemist, as he helped to lift her, +"she--she's surprisingly heavy!" + +"Yes," gasped Leander, over her unconscious shoulder; "when she goes off +in one of these sleeps, she does sleep very heavy"--an explanation +which, if obscure, was accepted by the other as part of the general +strangeness of the case. + +On the threshold the chemist stopped again. "I'd almost forgotten the +ring," he said. + +"_I'll_ take that!" said Leander. + +"Excuse me," was the objection, "but I was to give it back to the lady +herself. Had I not better put it on her finger, don't you think?" + +"Are you a married man?" asked Leander, grimly. + +"Yes," said the chemist. + +"Then, if you'll take my advice, I wouldn't if I was you--if you're at +all anxious to keep out of trouble. You'd better give the ring to me, +and I give you my word of honour as a gentleman that I'll give it back +to her as soon as ever she's well enough to ask for it." + +The other adopted the advice, and, amidst the sympathy of the +bystanders, they got the statue into the cab. + +"Where to?" asked the man through the trap. + +"Charing Cross," said Leander, at random; he ought the drive would give +him time for reflection. + +"The 'orspital, eh?" said the cabman, and drove off, leaving the mild +chemist to stare open-mouthed on the pavement for a moment, and go back +to his shop with a growing sense that he had had a very unusual +experience. + +Now that Leander was alone in the cab with the statue, whose attitude +required space, and cramped him uncomfortably, he wondered more and more +what he was to do with it. He could not afford to drive about London for +ever with her; he dared not take her home; and he was afraid of being +seen with her! + +All at once he seemed to see a way out of his difficulty. His first step +was to do what he could, in the constantly varying light, to reduce the +statue to its normal state. He removed the curls which had disfigured +her classical brow, and, with his pocket-handkerchief, rubbed most of +the colour from her face; then the cloak had only to be torn off, and +all that could betray him was gone. + +Near Charing Cross, Leander told the driver to take him down Parliament +Street, and stop at the entrance to Scotland Yard; there the cabman, at +Leander's request, descended, and stared to find him huddled up under +the gleaming pale arms of a statue. + +"Guv'nor," he remarked, "that warn't the fare I took up, I'll take my +dying oath!" + +"It's all right," said Leander. "Now, I tell you what I want you to do: +go straight in through the archway, find a policeman, and say there's a +gentleman in your cab that's found a valuable article that's been +missing, and wants assistance in bringing it in. I'll take care of the +cab, and here's double fare for your trouble." + +"And wuth it, too," was the cabman's comment, as he departed on his +mission. "I thought it was the devil I was a drivin', we was that down +on the orfside!" + +It was no part of Leander's programme to wait for his return; he threw +the cloak over his arm, pocketed his beard, and slipped out of the cab +and across the road to a spot whence he could watch unseen. And when he +had seen the cabman come with two constables, he felt assured that his +burden was in safe hands at last, and returned to Southampton Row as +quickly as the next hansom he hailed could take him. + +He entered his house by the back entrance: it was unguarded; and +although he listened long at the foot of the stairs, he heard nothing. +Had the Inspector not come yet, or was there a trap? As he went on, he +fancied there were sounds in his sitting-room, and went up to the door +and listened nervously before entering in. + +"Oh, Miss Collum, my poor dear!" a tremulous voice, which he recognised +as his aunt's, was saying, "for Mercy's sake, don't lie there like that! +She's dying!--and it's my fault for letting her come here!--and what am +I to say to her ma?" + +Leander had heard enough; he burst in, with a white, horror-stricken +face. Yes, it was too true! Matilda was lying back in his crazy +armchair, her eyes fast closed, her lips parted. + +"Aunt," he said with difficulty, "she's not--not _dead_?" + +"If she is not," returned his aunt, "it's no thanks to you, Leandy +Tweddle! Go away; you can do no good to her now!" + +"Not till I've heard her speak," cried Tweddle. "Tillie, don't you +hear?--it's me!" + +To his immense relief, she opened her eyes at the sound of his voice, +and turned away with a feeble gesture of fear and avoidance. "You have +come back!" she moaned, "and with her! Oh, keep her away!... I can't +bear it all over again!... I can't!" + +He threw himself down by her chair, and drew down the hands in which she +had hidden her face. "Matilda, my poor, hardly-used darling!" he said, +"I've come back _alone_! I've got rid of her, Tillie! I'm free; and +there's no one to stand between us any more!" + +[Illustration: HE THREW HIMSELF DOWN BY HER CHAIR, AND DREW DOWN THE +HANDS IN WHICH SHE HAD HIDDEN HER FACE.] + +She pushed back her disordered fair hair, and looked at him with sweet, +troubled eyes. "But you went away with her--for ever?" she said. "You +said you didn't love me any longer. I heard you ... it was just +before----" and she shuddered at the recollection. + +"I know," said Leander, soothingly. "I was obligated to speak harsh, to +deceive the--the other party, Tillie. I tried to tell you, quiet-like, +that you wasn't to mind; but you wouldn't take no notice. But there, we +won't talk about it any more, so long as you forgive me; and you do, +don't you?" + +She hid her face against his shoulder, in answer, from which he drew a +favourable conclusion; but Miss Tweddle was not so easily pacified. + +"And is this all the explanation you're going to give," she demanded, +"for treating this poor child the way you've done, and neglecting her +shameful like this? If she's satisfied, Leandy, I'm not." + +"I can't help it, aunt," he said. "I've been true to Tillie all the way +through, in spite of all appearances to the contrary--as she knows now. +And the more I explained, the less you'd understand about it; so we'll +leave things where they are. But I've got back the ring, and now you +shall see me put it on her finger." + + * * * * * + +It seemed that Leander had driven to Scotland Yard just in time to save +himself, for the Inspector did not make his threatened search that +evening. + +Two or three days later, however, to Leander's secret alarm, he entered +the shop. After all, he felt, it was hopeless to think of deceiving +these sleuth-hounds of the Law: this detective had been making +inquiries, and identified him as the man who had shared the hansom with +that statue! + +His knees trembled as he stood behind his glass-topped counter. "Come to +make the search, sir?" he said, as cheerfully as he could. "You'll find +us ready for you." + +"Well," said Inspector Bilbow, with a queer mixture of awkwardness and +complacency, "no, not exactly. Tweddle, my good fellow, circumstances +have recently assumed a shape that renders a search unnecessary, as +perhaps you are aware?" + +He looked very hard at Tweddle as he spoke, and the hairdresser felt +that this was a crucial moment--the detective was still uncertain +whether he had been mixed up with the affair or not. Leander's faculty +of ready wit served him better here than on past occasions. + +"Aware? No, sir!" he said, with admirable simplicity. "Then that's why +you didn't come the other evening! I sat up for you, sir; all night I +sat up." + +"The fact of the matter is, Tweddle," said Bilbow, who had become +suddenly affable and condescending, "I found myself reduced, so to +speak, to make use of you as a false clue, if you catch my meaning?" + +"I can't say I do quite understand, sir." + +"I mean--of course, I saw with half an eye, bless your soul, that you'd +had nothing to do with it--it wasn't likely that a poor chap like you +had any knowledge of a big plant of that description. No, no; don't you +go away with that idea. I never associated you with it for a single +instant." + +"I'm truly glad to hear it, Mr. Inspector," said Leander. + +"It was owing to the line I took up. There were the real parties to put +off their guard, and to do that, Tweddle--to do that, it was necessary +to appear to suspect you. D'ye see?" + +"I think it was a little hard on me, sir," he said; "for being suspected +like that hurts a man's feelings, sir. I did feel wounded to have that +cast up against me!" + +"Well, well," said the Inspector, "we'll go into that later. But, to go +on with what I was saying. My tactics, Tweddle, have been crowned with +success--the famous Venus is now safe in my hands! What do you say to +that?" + +"Say? Why, what clever gentlemen you detective officers are, to be +sure!" cried Leander. + +"Well, to be candid, there's not many in the Department that would have +managed the job as neatly; but, then, it was a case I'd gone into, and +thoroughly got up." + +"That I'm sure you must have done, sir," agreed Leander. "How ever did +you come on it?" He felt a kind of curiosity to hear the answer. + +"Tweddle," was the solemn reply, "that is a thing you must be content to +leave in its native mystery" (which Leander undoubtedly was). "We in the +Criminal Investigation Department have our secret channels and our +underground sources for obtaining information, but to lay those channels +and sources bare to the public would serve no useful end, nor would it +be an expedient act on my part. All you have any claim to be told is, +that, however costly and complicated, however dangerous even, the means +employed may have been (that I say nothing about), the ultimate end has +been obtained. The Venus, sir, will be restored to her place in the +Gallery at Wricklesmarsh Court, without a scratch on her!" + +"You don't say so! Lor!" cried Leander, hoping that his countenance +would keep his secret, "well, there now! And my ring, sir, if you +remember--isn't _that_ on her?" + +"You mustn't expect us to do everything. Your ring was, as I had every +reason to expect it would be, missing. But I shall be talking the matter +over with Sir Peter Purbecke, who's just come back to Wricklesmarsh from +the Continent, and, provided--ahem!--you don't go talking about this +affair, I should feel justified in recommending him to make you some +substantial acknowledgment for any--well, little inconvenience you may +have been put to on account of your slight connection with the business, +and the steps I may have thought proper to take in consequence. And, +from all I hear of Sir Peter, I think he would be inclined to come down +uncommonly handsome." + +"Well, Mr. Inspector," said Leander, "all I can say is this: if Sir +Peter was to know the life his statue has led me for the past few days, +I think he'd say I deserved it--I do, indeed!" + + * * * * * + + +CONCLUSION. + +The narrow passage off Southampton Row is at present without a +hairdresser's establishment, Leander having resigned his shop, long +since, in favour of either a fruiterer or a stationer. + +But, in one of the leading West End thoroughfares there is a large and +prosperous hair-cutting saloon, over which the name of "Tweddle" +glitters resplendent, and the books of which would prove too much for +Matilda, even if more domestic duties had not begun to claim her +attention. + +Leander's troubles are at end. Thanks to Sir Peter Purbecke's +munificence, he has made a fresh start; and, so far, Fortune has +prospered him. The devices he has invented for correcting Nature's more +palpable errors in taste are becoming widely known, while he is famous, +too, as the gifted author of a series of brilliant and popular +hairwashes. He is accustoming his clients to address him as +"Professor"--a title which he has actually had conferred upon him from a +quarter in which he is, perhaps, the most highly appreciated--for +prosperity has not exactly lessened his self-esteem. + +Mr. Jauncy, too, is a married man, although he does not respond so +heartily to congratulations. There is no intimacy between the two +households, the heads of which recognise that, as Leander puts it, +"their wives harmonise better apart." + +To the new collection of Casts from the Antique, at South Kensington, +there has been recently added one which appears in the official +catalogue under the following description:-- + +"_The Cytherean Venus._--Marble statue. Found in a grotto in the Island +of Cerigo. Now in the collection of Sir Peter Purbecke, at Wricklesmarsh +Court, Black-heath. + +"This noble work has been indifferently assigned to various periods; the +most general opinion, however, pronounces it to be a copy of an earlier +work of Alkamenes, or possibly Kephisodotos. + +"The unusual smallness of the extremities seems to betray the hand of a +restorer, and there are traces of colour in the original marble, which +are supposed to have been added at a somewhat later period." + +Should Professor Tweddle ever find himself in the Museum on a Bank +Holiday, and enter the new gallery, he could hardly avoid seeing the +magnificent cast numbered 333 in the catalogue, and reviving thereby +recollections he has almost succeeded in suppressing. + +But this is an experience he will probably spare himself; for he is +known to entertain, on principle, very strong prejudices against +sculpture, and more particularly the Antique. + + +THE END. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Tinted Venus, by F. 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