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diff --git a/24189.txt b/24189.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..efccc8e --- /dev/null +++ b/24189.txt @@ -0,0 +1,703 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Something Will Turn Up, by David Mason + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Something Will Turn Up + +Author: David Mason + +Illustrator: Brotman + +Release Date: January 7, 2008 [EBook #24189] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SOMETHING WILL TURN UP *** + + + + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Geetu Melwani and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + + + + * * * * * + +Transcriber note: This etext was produced from Analog February 1963. +Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. copyright +on this publication was renewed. + + * * * * * + + + + +Something +Will Turn Up + +by +David Mason + + + Err ... maybe it had to do with this being + a non-Parity universe, perhaps? + Some things can't be simply inverted, after all.... + + +Illustrated by Brotman + + +[Illustration] + + +"You, Mr. Rapp?" + +Stanley Rapp blinked, considering the matter. He always thought over +everything very carefully. Of course, some questions were easier to +answer than others. This one, for instance. He had very few doubts about +his name. + +"Uh," Stanley Rapp said. "Yes. Yes." + +He stared at the bearded young man. Living in the Village, even on the +better side of it, one saw beards every day, all shapes and sizes of +beard. This one was not a psychoanalyst beard, or a folk singer beard; +not even an actor beard. This was the scraggly variety, almost certainly +a poet beard. Mr. Rapp, while holding no particular prejudice against +poets, had not sent for one, he was sure of that. + +Then he noticed the toolcase in the bearded young man's hand, lettered +large LIGHTNING SERVICE, TV, HI-FI. + +"Oh," Stanley said, nodding. "You're the man to fix the TV set." + +"You know it, Dad," the young man said, coming in. He shut the door +behind him, and stared around the apartment. "What a wild pad. Where the +idiot box, hey?" + +The pleasantly furnished, neat little apartment was not what Mr. Rapp +had ever thought of as a "wild pad." But the Village had odd standards, +Mr. Rapp knew. Chacun a son gout, he had said, on moving into the +apartment ten years ago. Not aloud, of course, because he had only taken +one year of French, and would never have trusted his accent. But chacun +a son gout, anyway. + +"The television set," Mr. Rapp said, translating. "Oh, yes." He went to +the closet door and opened it. Reaching inside, he brought out an +imposingly large TV set, mounted on a wheeled table. The bearded +repairman whistled. + +"In the closet," the repairman said, admiringly. "Crazy. You go in there +to watch it, or you let it talk to itself?" + +"Oh. Well, I don't exactly watch it at all," Mr. Rapp said, a little +sadly. "I mean, I can't. That's why I called you." + +"Lightning's here, have no fear," the bearded one said, approaching the +set with a professional air. "Like, in the closet, hey." He bent over +the set, appraisingly. "I thought you were a square, Pops, but I can see +you're.... Hey, this is like too much. Man, I don't want to pry, but why +is this box upside down?" + +"I wish I knew," Mr. Rapp said. He sat down, and leaned back, sighing. +This was going to be difficult, he knew. He had already had to explain +it to the last three repairmen, and he was getting tired of explaining. +Although he thought, somehow, that this young man might understand it a +little more quickly than the others had. + +"I've had a couple of other repairmen look it over," Mr. Rapp told the +bearded one. "They ... well, they gave up." + +"Dilettantes," commented the beard. + +"Oh, no," Mr. Rapp said. "One of them was from the company that made it. +But they couldn't do anything." + +"Let's try it," the repairman said, plugging the cord into a wall +socket. He returned to the set, and switched it on, without changing +its upside down position. The big screen lit almost at once; a pained +face appeared, with a large silhouetted hammer striking the image's +forehead in a rhythmic beat. + +"... Immediate relief from headache," a bland voice said, as the +pictured face broke into a broad smile. The repairman shuddered, and +turned down the sound, staring at the image with widened eyes as he did +so. + +"Dad, I don't want to bug you," the repairman said, his eyes still on +the screen, "only, look. The set is upside down, right?" + +"Right," said Mr. Rapp. + +"Only the picture--" the repairman paused, trying to find the right +phrase. "I mean, the picture's flipped. Like, it's wrong side up, too. +Only, right side up, now." + +"Exactly," said Mr. Rapp. "You see, that's the trouble. I put the set +upside down because of that." + +"Cool," the repairman said, watching the picture. "I mean, so why worry? +You got a picture, right? You want me to turn the picture around? I can +do that with a little fiddling around inside the set ... uh-oh. Dad, +something's happening." + + * * * * * + +The repairman bent closer, staring at the picture. It was now showing a +busty young woman singer, her mouth opened, but silent, since the sound +was turned down. She was slowly rotating as Rapp and the bearded +repairman watched, turning until her face, still mouthing silent song, +hung upside down on the screen. + +"It always does that," Rapp said. "No matter which way I put the set, +the picture's always upside down." + +"No, man," the repairman said, pleadingly. "Look, I took a course. I +mean, the best school, you dig? It don't work that way. It just can't." + +"It does, though," Rapp pointed out. "And that's what the other repair +people said, too. They took it out, and brought it back, and it still +did it. Not when they had it in their shops, but the minute it came back +here, the picture went upside down again." + +"Wow," the repairman said, backing slowly away from the set, but +watching it with the tense gaze of a man who expected trouble. After a +minute he moved toward it again, and took hold of the cabinet sides, +lifting. + +"I don't want to put you down, Pops," he said, grunting. "Only, I got to +see this. Over she goes." He set it down again, right side up. The +picture, still the singer's face, remained in a relatively upright +position for another moment, and then slowly rolled over, upside down +again. + +"You see," Mr. Rapp said, shrugging. "I guess I'll have to buy another +set. Except I'd hate to have it happen again, and this one did cost +quite a lot." + +"You couldn't trade it in, either," the repairman agreed. "Not to me, +anyway." Suddenly he snapped his fingers. "Hey now. Sideways?" + +"You mean on its side?" + +"Just for kicks...." the repairman gripped the set again. "On the +side...." He set the cabinet down, on one side, and stepped back, to +regard the picture again. + +Slowly, the picture turned once more, and once again, relative to the +usual directions of up and down, the picture was stubbornly, completely +inverted. + +"It's onto that, too," the repairman said, gloomily. He sat down on the +floor, and assumed a kind of Yoga posture, peering between his legs. +"You could try it this way, Pops." + +"I'm pretty stiff," Mr. Rapp told him, shaking his head. + +"Yeah," the repairman said, reinverting himself. For a long while he +sat, pulling his beard thoughtfully, a look of deep thought on his face. +The reversed singer faded out, to give place to an earnestly grinning +announcer who pointed emphatically to a large, upside down sign bearing +the name of a product. + +"Watching it this way could get to be a fad," the repairman said, at +last, almost inaudibly. He fell silent again, and Mr. Rapp, sadly, began +to realize that even this bearded and confident young man had apparently +been stopped, like the others. + +"The way I look at it, like, there's a place where science hangs up," +the bearded one spoke, finally. + +"Like, I don't want to put down my old Guru at the Second Avenue School +of Electronics," he added, solemnly. "But you got to admit that there +are things not dreamed of in your philosophy, Horatio. You dig?" + +"My name isn't Horatio," Mr. Rapp objected. + +"I was quoting," the repairman told him. "I mean, this is a thing like, +outside material means. Supernatural, sort of. Did you cross up any +witches lately, Pops?" + +"Oh, dear," Mr. Rapp said sadly. He shook his head. "No, I haven't ... +er, offended any witches. Not that I know of." He regarded the inverted +picture for a moment. Then, as the repairman's words began to sink in, +Mr. Rapp looked at him apprehensively. + +"Witches?" Mr. Rapp asked. "But ... I mean, that's all superstition, +isn't it? And anyway ... well, television sets!" + +"They used to dry up cows, but who keeps cows?" the bearded one said +ominously. "Why not television sets? Like, I happen to be personally +acquainted with several witches and like that. The Village is full of +them. However--" He rose, and stalked toward the set, his eyes +glittering in a peculiar way. "You're a lucky one, Daddyo. Back in my +square days, I did some reading up on the hookups between poetry and +magic. Now, I'm a poet. Therefore, and to wit, I'm also a magician. On +this hangup, I'm going to try magic. Electronics won't work, that's for +sure." + + * * * * * + +"But...." Mr. Rapp was not quite sure why he disapproved, but he did. On +the other hand, the repairman appeared to be very definitely sure of +what he was doing, as he peered into the back of the television set. + +"Have you ever tried ... ah, this method before?" + +"Never ran into any hexed TV sets before," the repairman said, +straightening up. "Don't worry, though. I got the touch, like with +poetry. Same thing, in fact. All magic spells rhyme, see? Well, I used +to rhyme, back before I really started swinging. Anybody can rhyme. And +the rest is just instinct." + +He had been scribbling something on a notepad, as he spoke. Now he bent +down, to take another look at the back of the set, and nodded with an +air of assurance. + +"The tube layout," the repairman told Mr. Rapp, exhibiting his notebook. +"That, and Ohm's Law, and a couple of Hindu bits I picked up listening +to the UN on the radio ... makes a first-class spell." + +Mr. Rapp backed away, nervously. "Look, if it's all the same to you...." + +"Don't flip." The repairman consulted his notebook, and moved to stand +in front of the screen. The picture showed a smiling newscaster, +pointing to a map which indicated something ominous. + +"Cool, man," the repairman said. "Here we go." He lifted his hands in an +ecclesiastical gesture, and his voice became a deep boom. + +"6SN7, 6ac5, six and seven millivolts are running down the line, E +equals R times A, that's the way it goes, go round the other way, Subhas +Chandra BOSE!" + +Afterward, Mr. Rapp was never quite sure exactly what happened. He had +an impression of a flash of light, and an odd, indefinite sound rather +like the dropping of a cosmic garbage can lid. But possibly neither the +light nor the sound actually happened; at any rate, there were no +complaints from the neighbors later on. However, the lighted screen was +certainly doing something. + +"Crazy!" the repairman said, in awed tones. + +Mr. Rapp, his view partly blocked by the repairman, could not see +exactly what was happening on the screen. However, he caught a brief +glimpse of the newscaster's face. It was right side up, but no longer +smiling. Instead, the pictured face wore a look of profound alarm, and +the newsman was apparently leaning far forward, his face almost out of +focus because of its nearness to the lens. Just for a moment, Mr. Rapp +could have sworn he saw a chair floating _up_, past the agonized +expression on the screen. + +Then the screen want gray, and a panel of lettering appeared, shaking +slightly. + +OUR PICTURE HAS BEEN TEMPORARILY INTERRUPTED. NORMAL SERVICE WILL BE +RESTORED AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. PLEASE STAND BY. + +"I was going to give you a bill," the repairman said. "Only maybe we +better just charge it up to customer relations." + +The letters remained steady on the screen, and Mr. Rapp studied them. +They were right side up. + +"You fixed it," Mr. Rapp said, a little uncertainly. "I mean, it's +working. I ought to pay...." + +"I goofed," the repairman said. He picked up his tools, and moved toward +the door. "Like, I won't mention it to anybody if you won't. But I +goofed, all right. Didn't you see the picture?" + +"But whatever you did ... it worked," Mr. Rapp said. "The picture's +right side up." + +"I know," the repairman said. "Only somewhere ... there's a studio +that's upside down. I just goofed, Pops, that's all." + +He closed the door behind him, leaving Mr. Rapp still staring at the +immobile, right-side-up message on the glowing screen. + +[Illustration] + +The End. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Something Will Turn Up, by David Mason + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SOMETHING WILL TURN UP *** + +***** This file should be named 24189.txt or 24189.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/4/1/8/24189/ + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Geetu Melwani and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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