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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Masque of Days, by Walter Crane
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: A Masque of Days
+ From the Last Essays of Elia: Newly Dressed & Decorated
+
+Author: Walter Crane
+
+Release Date: December 24, 2007 [EBook #24015]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A MASQUE OF DAYS ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Anne Storer and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
+produced from images generously made available by The
+Internet Archive/American Libraries.)
+
+
+
+
+
+Transcriber's Note: Each paragraph is contained
+within a full-page illustration, so the
+illustration tags within the text have
+been removed to avoid congestion.
+
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+ A MASQUE OF DAYS
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+ A
+ MASQUE
+ OF
+ DAYS
+
+ CASSELL & COMPANY
+ LIMITED: LONDON:
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+ FROM THE
+ LAST ESSAYS
+ OF ELIA:
+
+ NEWLY DRESSED
+ & DECORATED
+
+ BY
+ WALTER CRANE
+
+ PARIS, NEW YORK
+ & MELBOURNE. 1901.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+THE OLD YEAR being dead, and the NEW YEAR coming of age, wh: he does by
+Calendar Law, as soon as the breath is out of the old gentleman's body,
+nothing would serve the young spark but he must give a dinner upon the
+occasion, to wh: all the Days in the year were invited. The Festivals,
+whom he deputed as his stewards, were mightily taken with the notion.
+They had been engaged time out of mind, they said, in providing mirth and
+good cheer for mortals below; and it was time they should have a taste of
+their own bounty. It was stiffly debated among them whether the Fasts
+should be admitted. Some said, that the appearance of such lean, starved
+guests, with their mortified faces, would pervert the ends of the meeting.
+But the objection was overruled by Christmas Day who had a design upon Ash
+Wednesday (as you shall hear), and a mighty desire to see how the old
+Domine would behave himself in his cups.
+
+Only the VIGILS were requested to come with their lanterns to light the
+gentlefolks home at night.
+
+All the Days came to their day. Covers were provided for three hundred and
+sixty-five guests at the principal table; with an occasional knife and
+fork at the side-board for the Twenty-Ninth of February.
+
+I should have told you that cards of invitation had been issued. The
+carriers were THE HOURS twelve little, merry whirligig foot-pages as
+you should desire to see, that went all round, and found out the persons
+invited well enough, with the exception of Easter Day, Shrove Tuesday, and
+a few such Moveables, who had lately shifted their quarters.
+
+Well, they all met at last, foul Days, fine Days, all sorts of Days,
+and a rare din they made of it. There was nothing but, Hail! fellow
+Day,--well met--brother Day--sister Day--only LADY DAY kept a little aloof
+and seemed somewhat scornful. Yet some said, TWELFTH DAY cut her out and
+out, for she came in a tiffany suit, white and gold, like a queen on a
+frost-cake, all royal glittering, and Epiphanous.
+
+The rest came, some in green, some in white--but old Lent and his
+family were not yet out of mourning.
+
+Rainy Days came in, dripping; and sun-shiny Days helped them to change
+their stockings.
+
+Wedding Day was there in his marriage finery, a little the worse for
+wear.
+
+Pay Day came late, as he always does; and Doomsday sent word--he might
+be expected.
+
+April Fool (as my young lord's jester) took upon himself to marshal the
+guests, and wild work he made with it. It would have posed old Erra Pater
+to have found out any given Day in the year, to erect a scheme upon good
+Days, bad Days were so shuffled together, to the confounding of all sober
+horoscopy. He had stuck the Twenty-First of June next to the Twenty-Second
+of December, and the former looked like a Maypole siding a marrow-bone.
+
+Ash Wednesday got wedged in (as was concerted) betwixt Christmas & Lord
+Mayor's Days. Lord! how he laid about him! Nothing but barons of beef &
+turkeys would go down with him to the great greasing & detriment of his
+new sackcloth bib and tucker. And still Christmas Day was at his elbow,
+plying him with the wassail-bowl, till he roared, & hiccupp'd, &
+protested there was no faith in dried ling, a sour, windy, acrimonious,
+censorious hy-po-crit-crit-critical mess & no dish for a gentleman. Then
+he dipt his fist into the middle of the great custard that stood before
+his left-hand neighbour, & daubed his hungry beard all over with it, till
+you would have taken him for the Last Day in December it so hung in
+icicles.
+
+At another part of the table, Shrove Tuesday was helping the Second of
+September to some cock broth,--which courtesy the latter returned with
+the delicate thigh of a hen pheasant--so there was no love lost for that
+matter.
+
+The Last of Lent was spunging upon Shrovetide's pancakes; which April
+Fool perceiving, told him he did well, for pancakes were proper to a good
+fry-day.
+
+In another part a hubbub arose about the Thirtieth of January, who, it
+seems, being a sour puritanic character, that thought nobody's meat good
+or sanctified enough for him, had smuggled into the room a calf's head,
+which he had had cooked at home for that purpose, thinking to feast
+thereon incontinently; but as it lay in the dish March Many-weathers,
+who is a very fine lady, and subject to the meagrims, screamed out there
+was a "human head in the platter," and raved about Herodias' daughter to
+that degree, that the obnoxious viand was obliged to be removed; nor did
+she recover her stomach till she had gulped down a Restorative, confected
+of Oak Apple, which the merry Twenty-Ninth of May always carries about
+with him for that purpose.
+
+The King's health being called for after this, a notable dispute arose
+between the 12th of August (a zealous old Whig gentlewoman), and the
+Twenty Third of April (a new-fangled lady of the Tory stamp) as to which
+of them should have the honour to propose it.
+
+August grew hot upon the matter, affirming time out of mind the
+prescriptive right to have lain with her, till her rival basely supplanted
+her;
+
+ * * *
+
+ April Fool being made mediator, confirmed the right in the
+ strongest form of words to the appellant, but decided for peace'
+ sake that the exercise of it should remain with the present
+ possessor.
+
+ * * *
+
+It beginning to grow a little duskish, Candlemas lustily bawled out for
+lights which was opposed by all the Days, who protested against burning
+daylight. Then fair water was handed round in silver ewers, and the same
+lady was observed to take an unusual time in washing herself.
+
+May-Day, with that sweetness which is peculiar to her, in a neat speech
+proposing the health of the founder, crowned her goblet, {and by her
+example the rest of the company} with garlands. This being done, the
+lordly New Year from the upper end of the table, in a cordial but
+somewhat lofty tone, returned thanks. He felt proud on an occasion of
+meeting so many of his father's late tenants, promised to improve their
+farms, & at the same time to abate {if anything was found unreasonable} in
+their rents.
+
+At the mention of this the Four Quarter Days involuntarily looked at
+each other, & smiled; April Fool whistled to an old tune of "New Brooms" &
+a surly old rebel at the further end of the table {who was discovered to
+be no other than the Fifth-of-November} muttered out distinctly enough to
+be heard by the whole company, words to this effect, that, "when the old
+one is gone, he is a fool that looks for a better." Which rudeness of his,
+the guests resenting, unanimously voted his expulsion; & the malcontent
+was thrust out neck & heels into the cellar, as the properest place for
+such a boutefeu & firebrand as he had shewn himself to be.
+
+Order being restored--the young lord {who, to say truth, had been a
+little ruffled & put beside his oratory} in as few, & yet as obliging
+words as possible, assured them of entire welcome; &, with a graceful
+turn, singling out poor Twenty-Ninth of February, that had sate all this
+while mumchance at the side-board, begged to couple his health with that
+of the good company before him--which he drank accordingly; observing,
+that he had not seen his honest face any time these four years--with a
+number of endearing expressions besides. At the same time, removing the
+solitary Day from the forlorn seat which had been assigned to him, he
+stationed him at his own board, somewhere between the Greek Calends and
+Latter Lammas.
+
+Ash Wednesday, being now called upon for a song, with his eyes fast stuck
+in his head, & as well as the Canary he had swallowed would give him
+leave, struck up a Carol, which Christmas Day had taught him for the
+nonce; & was followed by the latter, who gave "Miserere" in fine style,
+hitting off the mumping notes & lengthened drawl of Old Mortification with
+infinite humour.
+
+ [April Fool swore they had exchanged conditions; but Good
+ Friday was observed to look extremely grave; & Sunday held her fan
+ before her face, that she might not be seen to smile.]
+
+Shrove tide, Lord Mayor's Day, and April Fool, next joined in a glee--
+
+ Which is the properest day to drink?
+
+in which all the days chiming in, made a merry burden.
+
+They next fell to quibbles & conumdrums.
+
+The question being proposed, who had the greatest number of followers--the
+Quarter Days said, there could be no question as to that; for they had all
+the creditors in the world dogging their heels. But April Fool gave it in
+favour of the Forty Days before Easter; because the debtors in all cases
+outnumbered the creditors, & they kept _lent_ all the year round.
+
+All this while Valentine's Day kept courting pretty May, who sate next
+him, slipping amorous billets-doux under the table, till the Dog Days
+{who are naturally of a warm constitution} began to bark and rage
+exceedingly.
+
+April Fool, who likes a bit of sport above measure, & had some
+pretensions to the lady besides as being but a cousin once
+removed,--clapped & halloo'd them on; and as fast as their indignation
+cooled those mad wag's, the Ember Days, were at it with their bellows, to
+blow it into a flame; & all was in a ferment: till old Madame Septuagesima
+{who boasts herself the Mother of the Days} wisely diverted the
+conversation with a tedious tale of the lovers which she could reckon
+when she was young; & of one Master Rogation Day in particular, who was
+for ever putting the question to her; but she kept him at a distance, as
+the chronicle wd: tell--by which I apprehend she meant the Almanack.
+
+Then she rambled on to the Days that were gone, the good old Days, & so to
+the Days before the Flood--which plainly showed her old head to be little
+better than crazed & doited.
+
+Day being ended, the Days called for their cloaks & great-coats & took
+their leaves.
+
+Lord Mayor's Day went off in a mist as usual; Shortest Day in a deep black
+Fog that wrapt the little gentleman all round like a hedgehog. Two
+Vigils--so watchmen are called in heaven--saw Christmas Day safe
+home--they had been used to the business before. Another Vigil--a stout,
+sturdy patrole, called the Eve of St. Christopher--seeing Ash Wednesday
+in a condition little better than he should be--e'en whipt him over his
+shoulders, pick-a-back fashion, & Old Mortification went floating home
+singing--
+
+ "On the bat's back do I fly,"
+
+& a number of old snatches besides, between drunk & sober; but very few
+Aves or Penitentiaries {you may believe me} were among them. Longest Day
+set off westward in beautiful crimson & gold--the rest, some in one
+fashion, some in another; but Valentine & pretty May took their departure
+together in one of the prettiest silvery twilights a Lover's Day could
+wish to set in.
+
+
+ FINIS
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ FINIS
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Masque of Days, by Walter Crane
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