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diff --git a/old/voice10.txt b/old/voice10.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..50d3f11 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/voice10.txt @@ -0,0 +1,2458 @@ +**The Project Gutenberg Etext of The Voice, by Margaret Deland** + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world, be sure to check +the copyright laws for your country before posting these files!! +Please take a look at the important information in this header. +We encourage you to keep this file on your own disk, keeping an +electronic path open for the next readers. Do not remove this. + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** +**Etexts Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** +*These Etexts Prepared By Hundreds of Volunteers and Donations* +Information on contacting Project Gutenberg to get Etexts, and +further information is included below. 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An old +fellow called Roberts has taken it; +he is a--" + +"Teach your grandmother," said +Dr. Lavendar; "he is an Irvingite. He +comes from Lower Ripple, down on the +Ohio, and he has a daughter, Philippa." + +"Oh," said Dr. King, "you know 'em, +do you?" + +"Know them? Of course I know +them! Do you think you are the only +man who tries to enlarge his business? +But I was not successful in my efforts. +The old gentleman doesn't go to any +church; and the young lady inclines to +the Perryville meeting-house--the parson +there is a nice boy." + +"She is an attractive young creature," +said the doctor, smiling at some pleasant +memory; "the kind of girl a man would +like to have for a daughter. But did +you ever know such an old-fashioned +little thing!" + +"Well, she's like the girls I knew when +I was the age of the Perryville parson, +so I suppose you'd call her old-fashioned," +Dr. Lavendar said. "There +aren't many such girls nowadays; +sweet-tempered and sensible and with +some fun in 'em." + +"Why don't you say 'good,' too?" +William King inquired. + +"Unnecessary," Dr. Lavendar said, +scratching Danny's ear; "anybody who +is amiable, sensible, and humorous is +good. Can't help it." + +"The father is good," William King +said, "but he is certainly not sensible. +He's an old donkey, with his TONGUES +and his VOICE!" + +Dr. Lavendar's face sobered. "No," +he said, "he may be an Irvingite, but +he isn't a donkey." + +"What on earth is an Irvingite, +anyhow?" William asked. + +Dr. Lavendar looked at him, pityingly: +"William, you are so ridiculously +young! Well, I suppose you can't help +it. My boy, about the time you were +born, there was a man in London-- +some folks called him a saint, and some +folks called him a fool; it's a way folks +have had ever since our Lord came into +this world. His name was Irving, and he +started a new sect." (Dr. Lavendar was +as open-minded as it is possible for one +of his Church to be, but even he said +"sect" when it came to outsiders.) + +"He started this new sect, which believed +that the Holy Ghost would +speak again by human lips, just as +on the Day of Pentecost. Well, there +was 'speaking' in his congregation; +sort of outbursts of exhortation, you +know. Mostly unintelligible. I +remember Dr. Alexander said it was +'gibberish'; he heard some of it when +he was in London. It may have been +'gibberish,' but nobody can doubt +Irving's sincerity in thinking it was the +Voice of God. When he couldn't +understand it, he just called it an +'unknown tongue.' Of course he was +considered a heretic. He was put out of +his Church. He died soon after, poor +fellow." + +"Doesn't Mr. Roberts's everlasting +arguing about it tire you out?" William +asked. + +"Oh no," Dr. Lavendar said, cheerfully; +"when he talks too long I just +shut my eyes; he never notices it! +He's a gentle old soul. When I answer +back--once in a while I really have to +speak up for the Protestant Episcopal +Church--I feel as if I had kicked Danny." +William King grinned. Then he got +up and, drawing his coat-tails forward, +stood with his back to the jug of lilacs +in Dr. Lavendar's fireplace. "Oh, well, +of course it's all bosh," he said, and +yawned; "I was on a case till four +o'clock this morning," he apologized. + +"William," said Dr. Lavendar, +admiringly, "what an advantage you +fellows have over us poor parsons! +Everything a medical man doesn't understand +is 'bosh'! Now, we can't classify things +as easily as that." + +"Well, I don't care," William said, +doggedly; "from my point of view--" + +"From your point of view," said Dr. +Lavendar, "St. Paul was an epileptic, +because he heard a Voice?" + +"If you really want to know what I +think--" + +"I don't," Dr. Lavendar said; "I +want you to know what I think. Mr. +Roberts hasn't heard any Voice, yet; +he is only listening for it. William, +listening for the Voice of God isn't +necessarily a sign of poor health; and +provided a man doesn't set himself up +to think he is the only person his +Heavenly Father is willing to speak to, +listening won't do him any harm. As +for Henry Roberts, he is a humble old +man. An example to me, William! I +am pretty arrogant once in a while. +I have to be, with such men as you in +my congregation. No; the real trouble +in that household is that girl of his. It +isn't right for a young thing to live in +such an atmosphere." + +William agreed sleepily. "Pretty +creature. Wish I had a daughter just +like her," he said, and took himself off +to make up for a broken night's rest. +But Dr. Lavendar and Danny still sat +in front of the lilac-filled fireplace, and +thought of old Henry Roberts listening +for the Voice of God, and of his Philippa. +The father and daughter had lately +taken a house on a road that wandered +over the hills between elderberry-bushes +and under sycamores, from Old Chester +to Perryville. They were about +half-way between the two little towns, +and they did not seem to belong to +either. Perryville's small manufacturing +bustle repelled the silent old man +whom Dr. Lavendar called an "Irvingite"; +and Old Chester's dignity and dull +aloofness repelled young Philippa. +The result was that the Robertses and +their one woman servant, Hannah, had +been living on the Perryville pike for +some months before anybody in either +village was quite aware of their existence. +Then one day in May, Dr. Lavendar's +sagging old buggy pulled up at +their gate, and the old minister +called over the garden wall to Philippa: +"Won't you give me some of your apple +blossoms?" + +That was the beginning of Old Chester's +knowledge of the Roberts family. +A little later Perryville came to know +them, too: the Rev. John Fenn, pastor +of the Perryville Presbyterian Church, +got off his big, raw-boned Kentucky +horse at the same little white gate in +the brick wall at which Goliath had +stopped, and walked solemnly--not +noticing the apple blossoms--up to the +porch. Henry Roberts was sitting there +in the hot twilight, with a curious +listening look in his face--a look of +waiting expectation; it was so marked, that +the caller involuntarily glanced over his +shoulder to see if any other visitor was +approaching; but there was nothing to +be seen in the dusk but the roan nibbling +at the hitching-post. Mr. Fenn said +that he had called to inquire whether +Mr. Roberts was a regular attendant +at any place of worship. To which the +old man replied gently that every place +was a place of worship, and his own +house was the House of God. +John Fenn was honestly dismayed at +such sentiments--dismayed, and a little +indignant; and yet, somehow, the +self-confidence of the old man daunted him. +It made him feel very young, and there +is nothing so daunting to Youth as to +feel young. Therefore he said, venerably, +that he hoped Mr. Roberts realized +that it was possible to deceive oneself +in such matters. "It is a dangerous +thing to neglect the means of grace," +he said. + +"Surely it is," said Henry Roberts, +meekly; after which there was nothing +for the caller to do but offer the Irvingite +a copy of the _American Messenger_ +and take his departure. He was so +genuinely concerned about Mr. Roberts's +"danger," that he did not notice Philippa +sitting on a stool at her father's side. +But Philippa noticed him. + +So, after their kind, did these two +shepherds of souls endeavor to establish +a relationship with Henry and +Philippa Roberts. And they were +equally successful. Philippa gave her +apple blossoms to the old minister,--and +went to Mr. Fenn's church the very +next Sunday. Henry Roberts accepted +the tracts with a simple belief in the +kindly purpose of the young minister, +and stayed away from both churches. +But both father and daughter were +pleased by the clerical attentions: + +"I love Dr. Lavendar," Philippa +said to her father. + +"I am obliged to Mr. Fenn," her +father said to Philippa. "The youth," +he added, "cares for my soul. I am +obliged to any one who cares for my +soul." + +He was, indeed, as Dr. Lavendar said, +a man of humble mind; and yet with +his humbleness was a serene certainty +of belief as to his soul's welfare that +would have been impossible to John +Fenn, who measured every man's chance +of salvation by his own theological +yardstick, or even to Dr. Lavendar, +who thought salvation unmeasurable. +But then neither of these two ministers +had had Henry Roberts's experience. +It was very far back, that experience; +it happened before Philippa was born; +and when they came to live between the +two villages Philippa was twenty-four +years old.... + +It was in the thirties that young +Roberts, a tanner in Lower Ripple, +went to England to collect a small +bequest left him by a relative. The +sense of distance, the long weeks at sea +in a sailing-vessel, the new country and +the new people, all impressed themselves +upon a very sensitive mind, a +mind which, even without such emotional +preparation, was ready to respond to +any deeply emotional appeal. Then +came the appeal. It was that new +gospel of the Tongues, which, in those +days, astounded and thrilled all London +from the lips of Edward Irving--fanatic, +saint, and martyr!--the man who, having +prayed that God would speak again +in prophecy, would not deny the power +of prayer by refusing to believe that his +prayer was answered, even though the +prophecy was unintelligible. And later, +when the passionate cadences of the +spirit were in English, and were found +to be only trite or foolish words, +repeated and repeated in a wailing chant +by some sincere, hysterical woman, he +still believed that a new day of Pentecost +had dawned upon a sinful world! "For," +said he, "when I asked for bread, would +God give me a stone?" + +Henry Roberts went to hear the +great preacher and forgot his haste +to receive his little legacy so that he +might hurry back to the tanyard. +Irving's eloquence entranced him, and it +alone would have held him longer than +the time he had allowed himself for +absence from the tannery. But it +happened that he was present on that +Lord's Day when, with a solemn and +dreadful sound, the Tongues first spoke +in that dingy Chapel in Regent Square, +and no man who heard that Sound +ever forgot it! The mystical youth from +America was shaken to his very soul. +He stayed on in London for nearly a +year, immersing himself in those tides +of emotion which swept saner minds +than his from the somewhat dry land +of ordinary human experience. That +no personal revelation was made to +him, that the searing benediction of the +Tongues had not touched his own awed, +uplifted brow, made no difference: he +believed!--and prayed God to help +any lingering unbelief that might be +holding him back from deeper knowledges. +To the end of his days he was +Edward Irving's follower; and when +he went back to America it was as a +missionary of the new sect, that +called itself by the sounding title +of The Catholic Apostolic Church. +In Lower Ripple he preached to any +who would listen to him the doctrine +of the new Pentecost. At first curiosity +brought him hearers; his story of +the Voice, dramatic and mysterious, +was listened to in doubting silence; +then disapproved of--so hotly disapproved +of that he was sessioned and read +out of Church. + +But in those days in western Pennsylvania, +mere living was too engrossing a matter +for much thought of "tongues" and +"voices"; it was easier, when a man +talked of dreams and visions, not to +argue with him, but to say that he +was "crazy." So by and by Henry +Roberts's heresy was forgotten and his +religion merely smiled at. Certainly +it struck no roots outside his own +heart. Even his family did not share +his belief. When he married, as he did +when he was nearly fifty, his wife was +impatient with his Faith--indeed, fearful +of it, and with persistent, nagging +reasonableness urged his return to +the respectable paths of Presbyterianism. +To his pain, when his girl, his +Philippa, grew up she shrank from +the emotion of his creed; she and her +mother went to the brick church under +the locust-trees of Lower Ripple; and +when her mother died Philippa went +there alone, for Henry Roberts, not +being permitted to bear witness in the +Church, did so out of it, by sitting at +home on the Sabbath day, in a bare +upper chamber, waiting for the +manifestation of the Holy Spirit. It never +came. The Tongues never spoke. Yet +still, while the years passed, he waited, +listening--listening--listening; a +kindly, simple old man with mystical +brown eyes, believing meekly in his +own unworth to hear again that Sound +from Heaven, as of a rushing, mighty +wind, that had filled the London Chapel, +bowing human souls before it as a great +wind bows the standing corn! + +It was late in the sixties that Henry +Roberts brought this faith and his Philippa +to the stone house on the Perryville +pike, where, after some months +had passed, they were discovered by +the old and the young ministers. The +two clergymen met once or twice in +their calls upon the new-comer, and +each acquired an opinion of the other: +John Fenn said to himself that the old +minister was a good man, if he was an +Episcopalian; and Dr. Lavendar said +to William King that he hoped there +would be a match between the "theolog" +and Philippa. + +"The child ought to be married and +have a dozen children," he said; +"although Fenn's little sister will do to +begin on--she needs mothering badly +enough. Yes, Miss Philly ought to be +making smearkase and apple-butter for +that pale and excellent young man. +He intimated that I was a follower of +the Scarlet Woman because I wore a +surplice." + +"Now look here! I draw the line +at that sort of talk," the doctor said; +"he can lay down the law to me, all he +wants to; but when it comes to +instructing you--" + +"Oh, well, he's young," Dr. Lavendar +soothed him; "you can't expect +him not to know everything at his age." + +"He's a squirt," said William. In +those days in Old Chester middle age +was apt to sum up its opinion of youth +in this expressive word. + +"We were all squirts once," said Dr. +Lavendar, "and very nice boys we were, +too--at least I was. Yes, I hope the +youngster will see what a sweet creature +old Roberts's Philippa is." + +She was a sweet creature; but as +William King said, she was amusingly +old-fashioned. The Old Chester girl of +those days, who seems (to look back +upon her in these days) so medieval, +was modern compared to Philippa! But +there was nothing mystical about her; +she was just modest and full of pleasant +silences and soft gaieties and simple, +startling truth-telling. At first, +when they came to live near Perryville, +she used, when the weather was fine, to +walk over the grassy road, under the +brown and white branches of the sycamores, +into Old Chester, to Dr. Lavendar's +church. "I like to come to your +church," she told him, "because you +don't preach quite such long sermons as +Mr. Fenn does." But when it rained +or was very hot she chose the shorter +walk and sat under John Fenn, looking +up at his pale, ascetic face, lighted from +within by his young certainties +concerning the old ignorances of people +like Dr. Lavendar--life and death and +eternity. Of Dr. Lavendar's one certainty, +Love, he was deeply ignorant, this +honest boy, who was so concerned for +Philippa's father's soul! But Philippa +did not listen much to his certainties; she +coaxed his little sister into her pew, and +sat with the child cuddled up against +her, watching her turn over the leaves of +the hymn-book or trying to braid the +fringe of Miss Philly's black silk mantilla +into little pigtails. Sometimes Miss +Philly would look up at the careworn +young face in the pulpit and think how +holy Mary's brother was, and how +learned--and how shabby; for he had +only a housekeeper, Mrs. Semple, to +take care of him and Mary. Not but +what he might have had somebody +besides Mrs. Semple! Philippa, for all +her innocence, could not help being +aware that he might have had--almost +anybody! For others of Philly's sex +watched the rapt face there in the pulpit. +When Philippa thought of that, +a slow blush used to creep up to her +very temples. She saw him oftener in +the pulpit than out of it, because +when he came to call on her father +she was apt not to be present. +At first he came very frequently to +see the Irvingite, because he felt it his +duty to "deal" with him; but he made +so little impression that he foresaw the +time when it would be necessary to +say that Ephraim was joined to his +idols. But though it might be right +to "let him alone," he could not stop +calling at Henry Roberts's house; "for," +he reminded himself, "the believing +daughter may sanctify the unbelieving +father!" He said this once to Dr. +Lavendar, when his roan and old Goliath +met in a narrow lane and paused +to let their masters exchange a word or +two. + +"But do you know what the believing +daughter believes?" said Dr. Lavendar. +He wiped his forehead with his red bandanna, +for it was a hot day; then he put +his old straw hat very far back on his head +and looked at the young man with a +twinkle in his eye, which, considering +the seriousness of their conversation, +was discomfiting; but, after all, as +John Fenn reminded himself, Dr. Lavendar +was very old, and so might be +forgiven if his mind was lacking in +seriousness. As for his question of +what the daughter believed: +"I think--I hope," said the young +minister, "that she is sound. She comes +to my church quite regularly." +"But she comes to my church quite +irregularly," Dr. Lavendar warned +him; and there was another of those +disconcerting twinkles. + +The boy looked at him with honest, +solemn eyes. "I still believe that she +is sound," he said, earnestly. + +Dr. Lavendar blew his nose with a flourish +of the red bandanna. "Well, perhaps +she is, perhaps she is," he said, gravely. +But the reassurance of that "perhaps" +did not make for John Fenn's peace of +mind; he could not help asking himself +whether Miss Philippa WAS a "believing +daughter." She did not, he was sure, +share her father's heresies, but +perhaps she was indifferent to them? +which would be a grievous thing! +And certainly, as the old minister had +declared, she did go "irregularly" to the +Episcopal Church. John Fenn wished +that he was sure of Miss Philippa's +state of mind; and at last he said to +himself that it was his duty to find out +about it, so, with his little sister beside +him, he started on a round of pastoral +calls. He found Miss Philly sitting in +the sunshine on the lowest step of the +front porch--and it seemed to Mary +that there was a good deal of delay in +getting at the serious business of play; +"for brother talks so much," she +complained. But "brother" went on +talking. He told Miss Philippa that he +understood she went sometimes to Old +Chester to church? + +"Sometimes," she said. +"I do not mean," he said, hesitatingly, +"to speak uncharitably, but we all +know that Episcopacy is the handmaid +of Papistry." + +"Do we?" Philly asked, with grave +eyes. + +"Yes," said Mr. Fenn. "But even +if Dr. Lavendar's teachings are +defective,"--Mary plucked at his sleeve, +and sighed loudly; "(no, Mary!)-- +even if his teachings are defective, he +is a good man according to his lights; +I am sure of that. Still, do you think +it well to attend a place of worship +when you cannot follow the pastor's +teachings?" + +"I love him. And I don't listen to +what he says," she excused herself. + +"But you should listen to what +ministers say," the shocked young man pro- +tested--"at least to ministers of the +right faith. But you should not go to +church because you love ministers." + +Philippa's face flamed. "I do not +love--most of them." + +Mary, leaning against the girl's knee, +looked up anxiously into her face. "Do +you love brother?" she said. + +They were a pretty pair, the child and +the girl, sitting there on the porch with +the sunshine sifting down through the +lacy leaves of the two big locusts on +either side of the door. Philippa wore +a pink and green palm-leaf chintz; it +had six ruffles around the skirt and +was gathered very full about her slender +waist; her lips were red, and her +cheeks and even her neck were delicately +flushed; her red-brown hair was +blowing all about her temples; Mary +had put an arm around her and +was cuddling against her. Yes, even +Mary's brother would have thought +the two young things a pretty sight +had there been nothing more serious +to think of. But John Fenn's +thoughts were so very serious that even +Mary's question caused him no +embarrassment; he merely said, stiffly, +that he would like to see Miss Philippa +alone. "You may wait here, Mary," +he told his little sister, who frowned +and sighed and went out to the gate +to pull a handful of grass for the roan. + +Philippa led her caller to her rarely +used parlor, and sat down to listen in +silent pallor to his exhortations. She +made no explanations for not coming +to his church regularly; she offered no +excuse of filial tenderness for her +indifference to her father's mistaken beliefs; +she looked down at her hands, clasped +tightly in her lap, then out of the window +at the big roan biting at the hitching-post +or standing very still to let Mary rub +his silky nose. But John Fenn looked +only at Philippa. Of her father's heresies +he would not, he said, do more than +remind her that the wiles of the devil +against her soul might present them-selves +through her natural affections; +but in regard to her failure to wait +upon the means of grace he spoke +without mercy, for, he said, "faithful +are the wounds of a friend." + +"Are you my friend?" Philly asked, +lifting her gray eyes suddenly. + +Mr. Fenn was greatly confused; the +text-books of the Western Seminary had +not supplied him with the answer to +such a question. He explained, hurriedly, +that he was the friend of all +who wished for salvation. + +"I do not especially wish for it," +Philippa said, very low. + +For a moment John Fenn was silent +with horror. "That one so young +should be so hardened!" he thought; +aloud, he bade her remember hell fire. +He spoke with that sad and simple +acceptance of the fact with which, even +less than fifty years ago, men humbled +themselves before the mystery which +they had themselves created, of divine +injustice. She must know, he said, +his voice trembling with sincerity, +that those who slighted the offers of +grace were cast into outer darkness? + +Philly said, softly, "Maybe." + +"'Maybe?' Alas, it is, certainly! +Oh, why, WHY do you absent yourself +from the house of God?" he said, +holding out entreating hands. Philippa +made no reply. "Let us pray!" +said the young man; and they knelt +down side by side in the shadowy +parlor. John Fenn lifted his harsh, +melancholy face, gazing upward +passionately, while he wrestled for her +salvation; Philly, looking downward, +tracing with a trembling finger the +pattern of the beadwork on the ottoman +before which she knelt, listened with an +inward shiver of dismay and ecstasy. +But when they rose to their feet she +had nothing to say. He, too, was +silent. He went away quite exhausted +by his struggle with this impassive, +unresisting creature. + +He hardly spoke to Mary all the way +home. "A hardened sinner," he was +thinking. "Poor, lovely creature! So +young and so lost!" Under Mary's +incessant chatter, her tugs at the end of +the reins, her little bursts of joy at the +sight of a bird or a roadside flower, he +was thinking, with a strange new pain--a +pain no other sinner had ever roused in +him--of the girl he had left. He +knew that his arguments had not +moved her. "I believe," he thought, +the color rising in his face, "that +she dislikes me! She says she loves +Dr. Lavendar; yes, she must dislike me. +Is my manner too severe? Perhaps +my appearance is unattractive." He +looked down at his coat uneasily. + +As for Philly, left to herself, she +picked up a bit of sewing, and her face, +at first pale, grew slowly pink. "He +only likes sinners," she thought; "and, +oh, I am not a sinner!" + +CHAPTER II + +After that on Sabbath mornings +Philippa sat with her father, in +the silent upper chamber. At first +Henry Roberts, listening--listening-- +for the Voice, thought, rapturously, +that at the eleventh hour he was to +win a soul--the most precious soul in his +world!--to his faith. But when, after a +while, he questioned her, he saw that +this was not so; she stayed away +from other churches, but not because +she cared for his church. This troubled +him, for the faith he had outgrown was +better than no faith. + +"Do you have doubts concerning the +soundness of either of the ministers--the +old man or the young man?" he asked her, +looking at her with mild, anxious eyes. + +"Oh no, sir," Philly said, smiling. + +"Do you dislike them--the young +man or the old man?" + +"Oh no, father. I love--one of +them." + +"Then why not go to his church? +Either minister can give you the seeds +of salvation; one not less than the +other. Why not sit under either ministry?" +"I don't know," Philippa said, faintly. +And indeed she did not know why +she absented herself. She only knew +two things: that the young man seemed +to disapprove of the old man; and when +she saw the young man in the pulpit, +impersonal and holy, she suffered. +Therefore she would not go to hear +either man. + +When Dr. Lavendar came to call upon +her father, he used to glance at Philippa +sometimes over his spectacles while +Henry Roberts was arguing about prophecies; +but he never asked her why she +stayed away from church; instead, he +talked to her about John Fenn, and he +seemed pleased when he heard that the +young man was doing his duty in +making pastoral calls. "And I--I, +unworthy as I was!" Henry Roberts +would say, "I heard the Voice, speaking +through a sister's lips; and it said: Oh, +sinner! for what, for what, what can +separate, separate, from the love... +Oh, nothing. Oh, nothing. Oh, nothing." +He would stare at Dr. Lavendar +with parted lips. "I HEARD IT," he would +say, in a whisper. + +And Dr. Lavendar, bending his head +gravely, would be silent for a respectful +moment, and then he would look at +Philippa. "You are teaching Fenn's +sister to sew?" he would say. "Very +nice! Very nice!" + +Philly saw a good deal of the sister +that summer; the young minister, +recognizing Miss Philippa's fondness for +Mary, and remembering a text as to the +leading of a child, took pains to bring the +little girl to Henry Roberts's door once +or twice a week; and as August burned +away into September Philippa's pleasure +in her was like a soft wind blowing +on the embers of her heart and kindling +a flame for which she knew no name. +She thought constantly of Mary, and +had many small anxieties about her-- +her dress, her manners, her health; she +even took the child into Old Chester +one day to get William King to pull a +little loose white tooth. Philly shook +very much during the operation and +mingled her tears with Mary's in that +empty and bleeding moment that follows +the loss of a tooth. She was so +passionately tender with the little girl +that the doctor told Dr. Lavendar that +his match-making scheme seemed likely +to prosper--"she's so fond of the sister, +you should have heard her sympathize +with the little thing!--that I think she +will smile on the brother," he said. + +"I'm afraid the brother hasn't cut his +wisdom teeth yet," Dr. Lavendar said, +doubtfully; "if he had, you might pull +them, and she could sympathize with +him; then it would all arrange itself. +Well, he's a nice boy, a nice boy;-- +and he won't know so much when he gets +a little older." + +It was on the way home from Dr. +King's that Philippa's feeling of +responsibility about Mary brought her a +sudden temptation. They were walking +hand in hand along the road. The +leaves on the mottled branches of the +sycamores were thinning now, and the +sunshine fell warm upon the two young +things, who were still a little shaken +from the frightful experience of +tooth-pulling. The doctor had put the small +white tooth in a box and gravely presented +it to Mary, and now, as they +walked along, she stopped sometimes +to examine it and say, proudly, how she +had "bleeded and bleeded!" + +"Will you tell brother the doctor +said I behaved better than the circus +lion when his tooth was pulled?" + +"Indeed I will, Mary!" + +"An' he said he'd rather pull my +tooth than a lion's tooth?" + +"Of course I'll tell him." + +"Miss Philly, shall I dream of my +tooth, do you suppose?" + +Philippa laughed and said she didn't +know. + +"I hope I will; it means something +nice. I forget what, now." + +"Dreams don't mean anything, +Mary." + +"Oh yes, they do!" the child assured +her, skipping along with one arm round +the girl's slender waist. "Mrs. Semple +has a dream-book, and she reads it to +me every day, an' she reads me what +my dreams mean. Sometimes I haven't +any dreams," Mary admitted, regretfully, +"but she reads all the same. +Did you ever dream about a black ox +walking on its back legs? I never did. +I don't want to. It means trouble." + +"Goosey!" said Miss Philippa. + +"If you dream of the moon," Mary +went on, happily, "it means you are +going to have a beau who'll love you." + +"Little girls mustn't talk about love," +Philippa said, gravely; but the color +came suddenly into her face. To dream +of the moon means--Why! but only +the night before she had dreamed that +she had been walking in the fields and +had seen the moon rise over shocks of +corn that stood against the sky like the +plumed heads of Indian warriors! "Such +things are foolish, Mary," Miss Philly +said, her cheeks very pink. And while +Mary chattered on about Mrs. Semple's +book Philippa was silent, remembering +how yellow the great flat disk of the +moon had been in her dream; how it +pushed up from behind the black edge +of the world, and how, suddenly, the +misty stubble-field was flooded with its +strange light:--"you are going to have +a beau!" + +Philippa wished she might see the +book, just to know what sort of things +were read to Mary. "It isn't right to +read them to the child," she thought; +"it's a foolish book, Mary," she said, +aloud. "I never saw such a book." + +"I'll bring it the next time I come," +Mary promised. + +"Oh no, no," Philly said, a little +breathlessly; "it's a wrong book. I +couldn't read such a book, except-- +except to tell you how foolish and wrong +it is." + +Mary was not concerned with her +friend's reasons; but she remembered +to bring the ragged old book with her +the very next time her brother dropped +her at Mr. Roberts's gate to spend +an hour with Miss Philippa. There +had to be a few formal words between +the preacher and the sinner before +Mary had entire possession of her +playmate, but when her brother drove +away, promising to call for her later +in the afternoon, she became so +engrossed in the important task of +picking hollyhock seeds that she quite +forgot the dream-book. The air was hazy +with autumn, and full of the scent of +fallen leaves and dew-drenched grass +and of the fresh tan-bark on the garden +paths. On the other side of the road +was a corn-field, where the corn stood +in great shocks. Philly looked over at +it, and drew a quick breath,--her dream! + +"Did you bring that foolish book?" +she said. + +Mary, slapping her pocket, laughed +loudly. "I 'most forgot! Yes, ma'am; +I got it. I'll show what it says about +the black ox--" + +"No; you needn't," Miss Philly said; +"you pick some more seeds for me, and +I'll--just look at it." She touched the +stained old book with shrinking fingertips; +the moldering leather cover and the +odor of soiled and thumb-marked leaves +offended her. The first page was folded +over, and when she spread it out, the +yellowing paper cracked along its ancient +creases; it was a map, with the signs +of the Zodiac; in the middle was a +single verse: + + Mortal! Wouldst thou scan aright + Dreams and visions of the night? + Wouldst thou future secrets learn + And the fate of dreams discern? + Wouldst thou ope the Curtain dark + And thy future fortune mark? + Try the mystic page, and read + What the vision has decreed. + +Philly, holding her red lip between +her teeth, turned the pages: + +"MONEY. TO DREAM OF FINDING MONEY; +MOURNING AND LOSS. + +"MONKEY. YOU HAVE SECRET ENEMIES. + +"MOON." (Philippa shivered.) "A +GOOD OMEN; IT DENOTES COMING JOY. GREAT +SUCCESS IN LOVE." +She shut the book sharply, then +opened it again. Such books sometimes +told (so foolishly!) of charms which +would bring love. She looked furtively +at Mary; but the child, pulling down +a great hollyhock to pick the fuzzy +yellow disks, was not noticing Miss +Philly's interest in the "foolish book." +Philippa turned over the pages. Yes; +the charms were there!... + +Instructions for making dumb-cake, +to cut which reveals a lover: "ANY NUMBER +OF YOUNG FEMALES SHALL TAKE A HANDFUL +OF WHEATEN FLOUR--" That was no use; +there were too many females as it +was! + +"TO KNOW WHETHER A MAN SHALL HAVE THE +WOMAN HE WISHES." Philippa sighed. +Not that. A holy man does not +"wish" for a woman. + +"A CHARM TO CHARM A MAN'S LOVE." The +blood suddenly ran tingling in Philly's +veins. "LET A YOUNG MAID PICK OF +ROSEMARY TWO ROOTS; OF MONK'S-HOOD--" +A line had been drawn through this +last word, and another word written +above it; but the ink was so faded, +the page so woolly and thin with +use, that it was impossible to decipher +the correction; perhaps it was +"mother-wort," an herb Philly did not know; +or it might be "mandrake"? It looked +as much like one as the other, the writing +was so blurred and dim. "It is +best to take what the book says," Philly +said, simply; "besides, I haven't those +other things in the garden, and I have +monk's-hood and rosemary--if I should +want to do it, just for fun." + +"OF MONK'S-HOOD TWO ROOTS, AND OF THE +FLOWER OF CORN TEN THREADS; LET HER SLEEP +ON THEM ONE NIGHT. IN THE MORNING, LET +HER SET THEM ON HER HEART AND WALK BACKWARDS +TEN STEPS, PRAYING FOR THE LOVE OF HER +BELOVED. LET HER THEN STEEP AND BOIL THESE +THINGS IN FOUR GILLS OF PURE WATER ON WHICH +THE MOON HAS SHONE FOR ONE NIGHT. WHEN +SHE SHALL ADD THIS PHILTER TO THE DRINK OF +THE ONE WHO LOVES HER NOT, HE SHALL LOVE +THE FEMALE WHO MEETS HIS EYE FIRST AFTER +THE DRINKING THEREOF. THEREFORE LET THE +YOUNG MAID BE INDUSTRIOUS TO STAND BEFORE +HIM WHEN HE SHALL DRINK IT." + +"There is no harm in it," said Philly. + +CHAPTER III + +"Somebody making herb tea and +stealing my business?" said William +King, in his kindly voice; he had +called to see old Hannah, who had +been laid up for a day or two, and he +stopped at the kitchen door to look +in. Henry Roberts, coming from the +sitting-room to join him, asked his +question, too: + +"What is this smell of herbs, Philippa? +Are you making a drink for Hannah?" +"Oh no, father," Philly said, briefly, +her face very pink. + +William King sniffed and laughed. +"Ah, I see you don't give away your +secrets to a rival," he said; and added, +pleasantly, "but don't give your tea +to Hannah without telling me what +it is." + +Miss Philippa said, dutifully, "Oh no, +sir." But she did not tell him what +the "tea" was, and certainly she offered +none of it to old Hannah. All that day +there was a shy joyousness about her, +with sudden soft blushes, and once or +twice a little half-frightened laugh; there +was a puzzled look, too, in her face, +as if she was not quite sure just what +she was going to do, or rather, how she +was going to do it. And, of course, +that was the difficulty. How could she +"add the philter to the drink of one +who loved her not"? + +Yet it came about simply enough. +John Fenn had lately felt it borne in +upon him that it was time to make another +effort to deal with Henry Roberts; +perhaps, he reasoned, to show concern +about the father's soul might touch the +daughter's hardened heart. It was when +he reached this conclusion that he +committed the extravagance of buying a +new coat. So it happened that that +very afternoon, while the house was +still pungent with the scent of steeping +herbs, he came to Henry Roberts's +door, and knocked solemnly, as befitted +his errand; (but as he heard her +step in the hall he passed an anxious +hand over a lapel of the new +coat). Her father, she said, was not +at home; would Mr. Fenn come in +and wait for him? Mr. Fenn said he +would. And as he always tried, poor +boy! to be instant in season and out of +season, he took the opportunity, while +he waited for her father and she brought +him a glass of wine and a piece of cake, +to reprove her again for absence from +church. But she was so meek that he +found it hard to inflict those "faithful +wounds" which should prove his friendship +for her soul; she sat before him +on the slippery horsehair sofa in the +parlor, her hands locked tightly +together in her lap, her eyes downcast, her +voice very low and trembling. She +admitted her backslidings: she acknowledged +her errors; but as for coming to +church--she shook her head: + +"Please, I won't come to church +yet." + +"You mean you will come, some- +time?" + +"Yes; sometime." + +"Behold, NOW is the accepted time!" + +"I will come... afterwards." + +"After what?" he insisted. + +"After--" she said, and paused. +Then suddenly lifted bold, guileless +eyes: "After you stop caring for my +soul." + +John Fenn caught his breath. Something, +he did not know what, seemed to +jar him rudely from that pure desire +for her salvation; he said, stumblingly, +that he would ALWAYS care for her soul!-- +"for--for any one's soul." And was +she quite well? His voice broke with +tenderness. She must be careful to +avoid the chill of these autumnal +afternoons; "you are pale," he said, +passionately--"don't--oh, don't be so +pale!" It occurred to him that if she +waited for him "not to care" for her +salvation, she might die in her sins; +die before coming to the gate of heaven, +which he was so anxious to open to her! + +Philippa did not see his agitation; +she was not looking at him. She only +said, softly, "Perhaps you will stay to +tea?" + +He answered quickly that he would +be pleased to do so. In the simplicity +of his saintly egotism it occurred to +him that the religious pleasure of +entertaining him might be a means of grace +to her. When she left him in the dusk +of the chilly room to go and see to +the supper, he fell into silent prayer +for the soul that did not desire his care. + +Henry Roberts, summoned by his +daughter to entertain the guest until +supper was ready, found him sitting in +the darkness of the parlor; the old man +was full of hospitable apologies for his +Philippa's forgetfulness; "she did not +remember the lamp!" he lamented; and +making his way through the twilight of +the room, he took off the prism-hung +shade of the tall astral lamp on the +center-table, and fumbled for a match to +light the charred and sticky wick; there +were very few occasions in this plain +household when it was worth while to +light the best lamp! This was one of +them, for in those days the office +dignified the man to a degree that is hardly +understood now. But Henry Roberts's +concern was not entirely a matter of +social propriety; it was a desire to +propitiate this young man who was +living in certain errors of belief, so that +he would be in a friendly attitude of +mind and open to the arguments which +were always burning on the lips of +Edward Irving's follower. He did not +mean to begin them until they were at +supper; so he and John Fenn sat in +silence waiting Philippa's summons to +the dining-room. Neither of them had +any small talk; Mr. Roberts was making +sure that he could trust his memory +to repeat those wailing cadences of the +Voice, and John Fenn, still shaken by +something he could not understand that +had been hidden in what he understood +too well--a sinner's indifference to grace-- +was trying to get back to his serene, +impersonal arrogance. + +As for Philippa, she was frightened +at her temerity in having invited the +minister to a Hannahless supper; her +flutter of questions as to "what" and +"how" brought the old woman from her +bed, in spite of the girl's half-hearted +protests that she "mustn't think of +getting up! Just tell me what to do," +she implored, "I can manage. We are +going to have--TEA!" + +"We always have tea," Hannah said, +sourly; yet she was not really sour, for, +like William King and Dr. Lavendar, +Hannah had discerned possibilities in +the Rev. John Fenn's pastoral visits. +"Get your Sunday-go-to-meeting dress +on," she commanded, hunching a shawl +over a rheumatic shoulder and motioning +the girl out of the kitchen. + +Philippa, remorseful and breathless, +ran quickly up to her room to put on +her best frock, smooth her shining hair +down in two loops over her ears, and +pin her one adornment, a flat gold +brooch, on the bosom of her dress. She +lifted her candle and looked at herself +in the black depths of the little swinging +glass on her high bureau, and her +face fell into sudden wistful lines. +"Oh, I do not look wicked," she thought, +despairingly. + +John Fenn, glancing at her across the +supper-table, had some such thought +himself; how strange that one who was +so perverted in belief should not betray +perversion in her countenance. "On +the contrary, her face is pleasing," he +said, simply. He feared, noticing the +brooch, that she was vain, as well as +indifferent to her privileges; he wondered +if she had observed his new coat. + +Philippa's vanity did not, at any +rate, give her much courage; she scarcely +spoke, except to ask him whether he +took cream and sugar in his tea. When +she handed his cup to him, she said, +very low, "Will you taste it, and see +if it is right?" + +He was so conscious of the tremor +of her voice and hand that he made +haste to reassure her, sipping his tea +with much politeness of manner; as he +did so, she said, suddenly, and with +compelling loudness, "Is it--agreeable?" + +John Fenn, startled, looked at her +over the rim of his cup. "Very; very +indeed," he said, quickly. But he +instantly drank some water. "It is, perhaps, +a little strong," he said, blinking. +Then, having qualified his politeness for +conscience' sake, he drank all the bitter +tea for human kindness' sake--for +evidently Miss Philippa had taken pains +to give him what he might like. After +that she did not speak, but her face +grew very rosy while she sat in silence +listening to her father and their guest. +Henry Roberts forgot to eat, in the passion +of his theological arguments, but as +supper proceeded he found his antagonist +less alert than usual; the minister +defended his own doctrines instead of +attacking those of his host; he even +admitted, a little listlessly, that if the +Power fell upon him, if he himself spoke +in a strange tongue, then perhaps he +would believe--"that is, if I could be +sure I was not out of my mind at the +time," he qualified, dully. Philippa +took no part in the discussion; it would +not have been thought becoming in +her to do so; but indeed, she hardly +heard what the two men were saying. +She helped old Hannah carry away +the dishes, and then sat down by the +table and drew the lamp near her +so that she could sew; she sat there +smiling a little, dimpling even, and +looking down at her seam; she did not +notice that John Fenn was being worsted, +or that once he failed altogether to +reply, and sat in unprotesting silence +under Henry Roberts's rapt remembrances. +A curious blackness had settled +under his eyes, and twice he passed +his hand across his lips. + +"They are numb," he said, in surprised +apology to his host. A moment +later he shivered violently, beads of +sweat burst out on his forehead, and +the color swept from his face. He +started up, staring wildly about him; +he tried to speak, but his words +stumbled into incoherent babbling. +It was all so sudden, his rising, +then falling back into his chair, then +slipping sidewise and crumpling up +upon the floor, all the while stammering +unmeaning words--that Henry Roberts +sat looking at him in dumb amazement. +It was Philippa who cried out +and ran forward to help him, then +stopped midway, her hands clutched +together at her throat, her eyes dilating +with a horror that seemed to paralyze +her so that she was unable to move to +his assistance. The shocked silence of +the moment was broken by Fenn's +voice, trailing on and on, in totally +unintelligible words. + +Henry Roberts, staring open-mouthed, +suddenly spoke: "The VOICE!" he said. +But Philippa, as though she were +breaking some invisible bond that held +her, groaning even with the effort of +it, said, in a whisper: "No. Not that. +He is dying. Don't you see? That's +what it is. He is dying." + +Her father, shocked from his ecstasy, +ran to John Fenn's side, trying to lift +him and calling upon him to say what +was the matter. + +"He is going to die," said Philippa, +monotonously. + +Henry Roberts, aghast, calling loudly +to old Hannah, ran to the kitchen and +brought back a great bowl of hot water. +"Drink it!" he said. "Drink it, I tell +ye! I believe you're poisoned!" + +And while he and Hannah bent over +the unconscious young man, Philippa +seemed to come out of her trance; +slowly, with upraised hands, and head +bent upon her breast, she stepped backward, +backward, out of the room, out +of the house. On the doorstep, in the +darkness, she paused and listened for +several minutes to certain dreadful +sounds in the house. Then, suddenly, +a passion of purpose swept the daze +of horror away. + +"HE SHALL NOT DIE," she said. +She flung her skirt across her arm +that her feet might not be hampered, +and fled down the road toward Old +Chester. It was very dark. At first +her eyes, still blurred with the lamplight, +could not distinguish the footpath, +and she stumbled over the grassy +border into the wheel-ruts; then, feeling +the loose dust under her feet, she ran +and ran and ran. The blood began to +sing in her ears; once her throat seemed +to close so that she could not breathe, +and for a moment she had to walk,-- +but her hands, holding up her skirts, +trembled with terror at the delay. +The road was very dark under the +sycamore-trees; twice she tripped and +fell into the brambles at one side or +against a gravelly bank on the other. +But stumbling somehow to her feet, +again she ran and ran and ran. The +night was very still; she could hear her +breath tearing her throat; once she felt +something hot and salty in her mouth; +it was then she had to stop and walk +for a little space--she must walk +or fall down! And she could not +fall down, no! no! no! he would die +if she fell down! Once a figure loomed +up in the haze, and she caught the +glimmer of an inquisitive eye. "Say," +a man's voice said, "where are you +bound for?" There was something in +the tone that gave her a stab of fright; +for a minute or two her feet seemed to +fly, and she heard a laugh behind her +in the darkness: "What's your hurry?" +the voice called after her. And still +she ran. But she was saying to herself +that she must STOP; she must stand still +just for a moment. "Oh, just for +a minute?" her body whimperingly +entreated; she would not listen to it! She +must not listen, even though her heart +burst with the strain. But her body +had its way, and she fell into a walk, +although she was not aware of it. In a +gasping whisper she was saying, over +and over: "Doctor, hurry; he'll die; +hurry; I killed him." She tried to be +silent, but her lips moved mechanically. +"Doctor, hurry; he'll--Oh, I MUSTN'T +talk!" she told herself, "it takes my +breath"--but still her lips moved. She +began to run, heavily. "I can't talk +--if--I--run--" It was then that she +saw a glimmer of light and knew that +she was almost in Old Chester. Very +likely she would have fallen if she +had not seen that far-off window just +when she did. + +At William King's house she dropped +against the door, her fingers still +clinging to the bell. She was past speaking +when the doctor lifted her and carried +her into the office. "No; don't try to +tell me what it is," he said; "I'll put +Jinny into the buggy, and we'll get +back in a jiffy. I understand; Hannah +is worse." + +"Not... Hannah--" + +"Your father?" he said, picking up +his medicine-case. + +"Not father; Mr.--Fenn--" + +As the doctor hurried out to the +stable to hitch up he bade his wife put +certain remedies into his bag,--"and +look after that child," he called over his +shoulder to his efficient Martha. She +was so efficient that when he had brought +Jinny and the buggy to the door, Philly was +able to gasp out that Mr. Fenn was sick. +"Dying." + +"Don't try to talk," he said again, +as he helped her into the buggy. But +after a while she was able to tell him, +hoarsely: + +"I wanted him to love me." William +King was silent. "I used a charm. It +was wicked." + +"Come, come; not wicked," said the +doctor; "a little foolish, perhaps. A +new frock, and a rose in your hair, +and a smile at another man, would be +enough of a charm, my dear." + +Philippa shook her head. "It was +not enough. I wore my best frock, and +I went to Dr. Lavendar's church--" + +"Good gracious!" said William King. + +"They were not enough. So I used +a charm. I made a drink--" + +"Ah!" said the doctor, frowning. +"What was in the drink, Miss Philly?" + +"Perhaps it was not the right herb," +she said; "it may have been 'mother-wort'; +but the book said 'monk's-hood,' +and I--" + +William King reached for his whip and +cut Jinny across the flanks. "ACONITE!" +he said under his breath, while Jinny +leaped forward in shocked astonishment. + +"Will he live?" said Philippa. +Dr. King, flecking Jinny again, and +letting his reins hang over the dashboard, +could not help putting a comforting +arm around her. "I hope so," +he said; "I hope so!" After all, there +was no use telling the child that probably +by this time her lover was either +dead or getting better. "It's his own +fault," William King thought, angrily. +"Why in thunder didn't he fall in love +like a man, instead of making the child +resort to--G'on, Jinny! G'on!" +He still had the whip in his hand +when they drew up at the gate. + +CHAPTER IV + +When Philippa Roberts had fled +out into the night for help, her +father and old Hannah were too alarmed +to notice her absence. They went hurrying +back and forth with this remedy +and that. Again and again they were +ready to give up; once Henry Roberts +said, "He is gone!" and once Hannah +began to cry, and said, "Poor lad, +poor boy!" Yet each made one more +effort, their shadows looming gigantic +against the walls or stretching +across the ceiling, bending and sinking +as they knelt beside the poor young +man, who by that time was beyond +speech. So the struggle went on. But +little by little life began to gain. John +Fenn's eyes opened. Then he smiled. +Then he said something-they could +not hear what. + +"Bless the Lord!" said Henry Roberts. + +"He's asking for Philly," said old +Hannah. By the time the doctor and +Philippa reached the house the shadow +of death had lifted. + +"It must have been poison," Mr. +Roberts told the doctor. "When he +gets over it he will tell us what it was." + +"I don't believe he will," said William +King; he was holding Fenn's wrist between +his firm fingers, and then he +turned up a fluttering eyelid and looked +at the still dulled eye. + +Philippa, kneeling on the other side +of John Fenn, said loudly: "I will tell +HIM--and perhaps God will forgive +me." + +The doctor, glancing up at her, said: +"No, you won't--anyhow at present. +Take that child up-stairs, Hannah," +he commanded, "and put her to bed. +She ran all the way to Old Chester to +get me," he explained to Henry Roberts. + +Before he left the house that night he +sat for a few minutes at Philippa's bedside. +"My dear little girl," he said, in +his kind, sensible voice, "the best thing +to do is to forget it. It was a foolish +thing to do--that charm business; but +happily no harm is done. Now say +nothing about it, and never do it again." + +Philippa turned her shuddering face +away. "Do it again? OH!" + +As William King went home he apologized +to Jinny for that cut across her +flanks by hanging the reins on the overhead +hook, and letting her plod along +at her own pleasure. He was saying +to himself that he hoped he had done +right to tell the child to hold her tongue. +"It was just tomfoolery," he argued; +"there was no sin about it, so +confession wouldn't do her any good; on +the contrary, it would hurt a girl's +self-respect to have a man know she +had tried to catch him. But what a +donkey he was not to see.... Oh yes; +I'm sure I'm right," said William King. +"I wonder how Dr. Lavendar would +look at it?" + +Philippa, at any rate, was satisfied +with his advice. Perhaps the story of +what she had done might have broken +from her pale lips had her father asked +any questions; but Henry Roberts had +retreated into troubled silence. There +had been one wonderful moment when +he thought that at last his faith +was to be justified and by the +unbeliever himself! and he had cried out, +with a passion deferred for more than +thirty years: "The VOICE!" But behold, +the voice, babbling and meaningless, was +nothing but sickness. No one could +guess what the shock of that +disappointment was. He was not able even +to speak of it. So Philippa was asked +no awkward questions, and her +self-knowledge burned deep into her heart. + +In the next few days, while the minister +was slowly recovering in the great +four-poster in Henry Roberts's guest-room, +she listened to Hannah's speculations +as to the cause of his attack, and +expressed no opinion. She was dumb +when John Fenn tried to tell her how +grateful he was to her for that terrible +run through the darkness for his sake. + +"You should not be grateful," she +said, at last, in a whisper. + +But he was grateful; and, furthermore, +he was very happy in those days +of slow recovery. The fact was that +that night, when he had been so near +death, he had heard Philippa, in his first +dim moments of returning consciousness, +stammering out those distracted +words: "Perhaps God will forgive me." +To John Fenn those words meant the +crowning of all his efforts: she had +repented! + +"Truly," he said, lying very white +and feeble on his pillow and looking +into Philly's face when she brought +him his gruel, "truly, + +"He moves in a mysterious way +His wonders to perform!" + +The "mysterious way" was the befalling +of that terrible illness in Henry +Roberts's house, so that Philippa should +be impressed by it. "If my affliction +has been blessed to any one else, I am +glad to have suffered it," he said. + +Philippa silently put a spoonful of +gruel between his lips; he swallowed it +as quickly as he could. +"I heard you call upon God for +forgiveness; the Lord is merciful and +gracious!" + +Philly said, very low, "Yes; oh YES." +So John Fenn thanked God and took +his gruel, and thought it was very good. +He thought, also, that Miss Philippa was +very good to be so good to him. In +those next few days, before he was strong +enough to be moved back to his own +house, he thought more of her goodness +and less of her salvation. It was then +that he had his great moment, his +revealing moment! All of a sudden, at +the touch of Life, his honest artificiality +had dropped from him, and he knew +that he had never before known anything +worth knowing! He knew he +was in love. He knew it when he +realized that he was not in the least +troubled about her soul. "That is +what she meant!" he thought; "she +wanted me to care for her, before I +cared for her soul." He was so simple +in his acceptance of the revelation that +she loved him, that when he went to +ask her to be his wife the blow of her +reply almost knocked him back into his +ministerial affectations: + +"No." + +When John Fenn got home that evening +he went into his study and shut +the door. Mary came and pounded on it, +but he only said, in a muffled voice: + +"No, Mary. Not now. Go away." + +He was praying for resignation to what +he told himself was the will of God. +"The Lord is unwilling that my thoughts +should be diverted from His service by +my own personal happiness." Then he +tried to put his thoughts on that service +by deciding upon a text for his next +sermon. But the texts which suggested +themselves were not steadying to his +bewildered mind: + +"LOVE ONE ANOTHER." ("I certainly +thought she loved me.") + +"MARVEL NOT, MY BRETHREN, IF THE WORLD +HATE YOU." ("I am, perhaps, personally +unattractive to her; and yet I wonder why?") +He was not a conceited man; but, +like all his sex, he really did "marvel" +a little at the lack of feminine +appreciation. He marveled so much that +a week later he took Mary and walked out +to Mr. Roberts's house. This time +Mary, to her disgust, was left with +Miss Philly's father, while her brother +and Miss Philly walked in the frosted +garden. Later, when that walk was +over, and the little sister trudged along +at John Fenn's side in the direction of +Perryville, she was very fretful because +he would not talk to her. He was +occupied, poor boy, in trying again not +to "marvel," and to be submissive to the +divine will. + +After that, for several months, he +refused Mary's plea to be taken to visit +Miss Philly. He had, he told himself, +"submitted"; but submission left him +very melancholy and solemn, and also +a little resentful; indeed, he was so low +in his mind, that once he threw out a +bitter hint to Dr. Lavendar,--who, according +to his wont, put two and two together. + +"Men in our profession, sir," said +John Fenn, "must not expect personal +happiness." + +"Well," said Dr. Lavendar, +meditatively, "perhaps if we don't expect +it, the surprise of getting it makes it +all the better. I expected it; but I've +exceeded my expectations!" + +"But you are not married," the +young man said, impulsively. + +Dr. Lavendar's face changed; "I hope +you will marry, Fenn," he said, quietly. +At which John Fenn said, "I am married +to my profession; that is enough +for any minister." + +"You'll find your profession a mighty +poor housekeeper," said Dr. Lavendar. + +It was shortly after this that Mr. +Fenn and his big roan broke through +the snow-drifts and made their way to +Henry Roberts's house. "I must speak +to you alone, sir," he said to the Irvingite, +who, seeing him approaching, had +hastened to open the door for him and +draw him in out of the cold sunshine. + +What the caller had to say was brief +and to the point: Why was his daughter +so unkind? John Fenn did not feel now +that the world--which meant Philippa +--hated him. He felt--he could not +help feeling--that she did not even +dislike him; "on the contrary...." So +what reason had she for refusing him? +But old Mr. Roberts shook his head. +"A young female does not have 'reasons,'" +he said. But he was sorry for +the youth, and he roused himself from +his abstraction long enough to question +his girl: + +"He is a worthy young man, my +Philippa. Why do you dislike him?" + +"I do not dislike him." + +"Then why --?" her father pro- +tested. + +But Philly was silent. + +Even Hannah came to the rescue: + +"You'll get a crooked stick at the +end, if you don't look out!" + +Philly laughed; then her face fell. +"I sha'n't have any stick, ever!" + +And Hannah, in her concern, confided +her forebodings about the stick +to Dr. King. + +"I wonder," William said to himself, +uneasily, "if I was wise to tell that child +to hold her tongue? Perhaps they might +have straightened it out between 'em +before this, if she had told him and +been done with it. I've a great mind +to ask Dr. Lavendar." + +He did ask him; at first with proper +precautions not to betray a patient's +confidence, but, at a word from Dr. +Lavendar, tumbling into truthfulness. + +"You are talking about young Philippa +Roberts?" Dr. Lavendar announced, +calmly, when William was half-way +through his story of concealed identities. + +"How did you guess it?" the doctor +said, astonished; "oh, well, yes, I am. +I guess there's no harm telling you--" +"Not the slightest," said Dr. Lavendar, +"especially as I knew it already +from the young man--I mean, I knew +she wouldn't have him. But I didn't +know why until your story dovetailed +with his. William, the thing has +festered in her! The lancet ought to have +been used the next day. I believe she'd +have been married by this time if she'd +spoken out, then and there." + +William King was much chagrined. +"I thought, being a girl, you know, her +pride, her self-respect--" + +"Oh yes; the lancet hurts," Dr. +Lavendar admitted; "but it's better +than--well, I don't know the terms +of your trade, Willy-but I guess you +know what I mean?" + +"I guess I do," said William King, +thoughtfully. "Do you suppose it's +too late now?" + +"It will be more of an operation," +Dr. Lavendar conceded. + +"Could I tell him?" William said, +after a while. + +"I don't see why not," Dr. Lavendar +said. + +"I suppose I'd have to ask her permission?" + +"Nonsense!" said Dr. Lavendar. + +That talk between the physician of +the soul and the physician of the body +happened on the very night when John +Fenn, in his study in Perryville, with +Mary dozing on his knee, threw over, +once and for all, what he had called +"submission" and made up his mind to +get his girl! The very next morning he +girded himself and walked forth upon +the Pike toward Henry Roberts's house. +He did not take Mary with him,--but +not because he meant to urge salvation +on Miss Philly! As it happened, Dr. +King, too, set out upon the Perryville +road that morning, remarking to Jinny +that if he had had his wits about him +that night in November, she would +have been saved the trip on this May +morning. The trip was easy enough; +William had found a medical pamphlet +among his mail, and he was reading it, +with the reins hanging from the crook +of his elbow. It was owing to this +method of driving that John Fenn +reached the Roberts house before Jinny +passed it, so she went all the way to +Perryville, and then had to turn round +to follow on his track. + +"Brother went to see Miss Philly, +and he wouldn't take me," Mary +complained to William King, when he drew +up at the minister's door; and the +doctor was sympathetic to the extent +of five cents for candy comfort. + +But when Jinny reached the Roberts +gate Dr. King saw John Fenn down in +the garden with Philippa. "Ho-ho!" +said William. "I guess I'll wait and +see if he works out his own salvation." +He hitched Jinny, and went in to find +Philippa's father, and to him he freed +his mind. The two men sat on the +porch looking down over the tops +of the lilac-bushes into the garden, +where they could just see the heads of +the two young, unhappy people. + +"It's nonsense, you know," said +William King, "that Philly doesn't +take that boy. He's head over heels +in love with her." + +"She is not attached to him in any +such manner," Henry Roberts said; +"I wonder a little at it, myself. He is a +good youth." + +The doctor looked at him wonderingly; +it occurred to him that if he had +a daughter he would understand her +better than Philly's father understood +her. "I think the child cares for him," +he said; then, hesitatingly, he referred +to John Fenn's sickness. "I suppose +you know about it?" he said. + +Philly's father bent his head; he +knew, he thought, only too well; no +divine revelation in a disordered digestion! + +"Don't you think," William King +said, smiling, "you might try to make +her feel that she is wrong not to accept +him, now that the charm has worked, +so to speak?" + +"The charm?" the old man repeated, +vaguely. + +"I thought you understood," the +doctor said, frowning; then, after a +minute's hesitation, he told him the +facts. + +Henry Roberts stared at him, shocked +and silent; his girl, his Philippa, to +have done such a thing! "So great a +sin--my little Philly!" he said, faintly. +He was pale with distress. + +"My dear sir," Dr. King protested, +impatiently, "don't talk about SIN +in connection with that child. I wish +I'd held my tongue!" + +Henry Roberts was silent. Philippa's +share in John Fenn's mysterious +illness removed it still further from that +revelation, waited for during all these +years with such passionate patience. +He paid no attention to William King's +reassurances; and his silence was so +silencing that by and by the doctor +stopped talking and looked down into +the garden again. He observed that +those two heads had not drawn any +nearer together. It was not John Fenn's +fault.... + +"There can be no good reason," he +was saying to Philippa. "If it is a bad +reason, I will overcome it! Tell me why?" + +She put her hand up to her lips and +trembled. + +"Come," he said; "it is my due, +Philippa. I WILL know!" + +Philippa shook her head. He took +her other hand and stroked it, as one +might stroke a child's hand to comfort +and encourage it. + +"You must tell me, beloved," he said. +Philippa looked at him with scared +eyes; then, suddenly pulling her hands +from his and turning away, she covered +her face and burst into uncontrollable +sobbing. He, confounded and frightened, +followed her and tried to soothe +her. + +"Never mind, Philly, never mind! +if you don't want to tell me--" + +"I do want to tell you. I will tell +you! You will despise me. But I will +tell you. I DID A WICKED DEED. It was +this very plant-here, where we stand, +monk's-hood! It was poison. I didn't +know--oh, I didn't know. The book +said monk's-hood--it was a mistake. +But I did a wicked deed. I tried to +kill you--" + +She swayed as she spoke, and then +seemed to sink down and down, until +she lay, a forlorn little heap, at his +feet. For one dreadful moment he +thought she had lost her senses. He +tried to lift her, saying, with agitation: + +"Philly! We will not speak of it--" + +"I murdered you," she whispered. +"I put the charm into your tea, to make +you... love me. You didn't die. +But it was murder. I meant--I meant +no harm--" + +He understood. He lifted her up +and held her in his arms. Up on the +porch William King saw that the two +heads were close together! + +"Why!" the young man said. "Why-- +but Philly! You loved me!" + +"What difference does that make?" +she said, heavily. + +"It makes much difference to me," +he answered; he put his hand on her +soft hair and tried to press her head down +again on his shoulder. But she drew away. + +"No; no." + +"But--" he began. She interrupted +him. + +"Listen," she said; and then, sometimes +in a whisper, sometimes breaking +into a sob, she told him the story of +that November night. He could hardly +hear it through. + +"Love, you loved me! You will +marry me." + +"No; I am a wicked girl--a--a--an +immodest girl--" + +"My beloved, you meant no wrong--" +He paused, seeing that she was not +listening. + +Her father and the doctor were coming +down the garden path; William +King, beaming with satisfaction at the +proximity of those two heads, had summoned +Henry Roberts to "come along +and give 'em your blessing!" + +But as he reached them, standing now +apart, the doctor's smile faded--evidently +something had happened. John +Fenn, tense with distress, called to him +with frowning command: "Doctor! Tell +her, for heaven's sake, tell her that it +was nothing--that charm! Tell her she +did no wrong." + +"No one can do that," Henry Roberts +said; "it was a sin." + +"Now, look here--" Dr. King began. + +"It was a sin to try to move by foolish +arts the will of God." + +Philippa turned to the young man, +standing quivering beside her. "You +see?" she said. + +"No! No, I don't see--or if I do, +never mind." + +Just for a moment her face cleared. +(Yes, truly, he was not thinking of her +soul now!) But the gleam faded. "Oh, +father, I am a great sinner," she +whispered. + +"No, you're not!" William King said. + +"Yes, my Philippa, you are," Henry +Roberts agreed, solemnly. + +The lover made a despairing gesture: +"Doctor King! tell her 'no!' 'no!'" + +"Yes," her father went on, "it was +a sin. Therefore, Philippa, SIN NO MORE. +Did you pray that this young man's +love might be given to you?" + +Philippa said, in a whisper, "Yes." + +"And it was given to you?" + +"Yes." + +"Philippa, was it the foolish weed +that moved him to love?" She was +silent. "My child, my Philly, it was +your Saviour who moved the heart of +this youth, because you asked Him. +Will you do such despite to your Lord +as to reject the gift he has given in +answer to your prayer?" Philippa, with +parted lips, was listening intently: "The +gift He had given!" + +Dr. King dared not speak. John +Fenn looked at him, and then at Philippa, +and trembled. Except for the +sound of a bird stirring in its nest overhead +in the branches, a sunny stillness +brooded over the garden. Then, +suddenly, the stillness was shattered +by a strange sound--a loud, cadenced +chant, full of rhythmical repetitions. +The three who heard it thrilled from +head to foot; Henry Roberts did not +seem to hear it: it came from his own +lips. + +"Oh, Philippa! Oh, Philippa! I do +require--I do require that you accept +your Saviour's gift. Add not sin to +sin. Oh, add not sin to sin by making +prayer of no avail! Behold, He has +set before thee an open door. Oh, let +no man shut it. Oh, let no man shut +it...." + +The last word fell into a low, wailing +note. No one spoke. The bird rustled +in the leaves above them; a butterfly +wavered slowly down to settle on a +purple flag in the sunshine. Philly's +eyes filled with blessed tears. She +stretched out her arms to her father +and smiled. But it was John Fenn who +caught those slender, trembling arms +against his breast; and, looking over +at the old man, he said, softly, +"THE VOICE OF GOD." + +... "and I," said William King, +telling the story that night to Dr. +Lavendar--"I just wanted to say 'the +voice of COMMON SENSE!'" + +"My dear William," said the old man, +gently, "the most beautiful thing in +the world is the knowledge that comes +to you, when you get to be as old +as I am, that they are the same +thing." + + + + + +End of The Project Gutenberg Etext of The Voice by Margaret Deland + diff --git a/old/voice10.zip b/old/voice10.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..2cd8f8e --- /dev/null +++ b/old/voice10.zip |