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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Voice, by Margaret Deland
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Voice
+
+Author: Margaret Deland
+
+Posting Date: November 5, 2008 [EBook #2387]
+Release Date: November, 2000
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE VOICE ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Judy Boss. HTML version by Al Haines.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+THE VOICE
+
+
+BY
+
+MARGARET DELAND
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER I
+
+"Dr. Lavendar," said William King, "some time when Goliath is doing his
+2.40 on a plank road, don't you want to pull him up at that house on
+the Perryville pike where the Grays used to live, and make a call? An
+old fellow called Roberts has taken it; he is a--"
+
+"Teach your grandmother," said Dr. Lavendar; "he is an Irvingite. He
+comes from Lower Ripple, down on the Ohio, and he has a daughter,
+Philippa."
+
+"Oh," said Dr. King, "you know 'em, do you?"
+
+"Know them? Of course I know them! Do you think you are the only man
+who tries to enlarge his business? But I was not successful in my
+efforts. The old gentleman doesn't go to any church; and the young lady
+inclines to the Perryville meeting-house--the parson there is a nice
+boy."
+
+"She is an attractive young creature," said the doctor, smiling at some
+pleasant memory; "the kind of girl a man would like to have for a
+daughter. But did you ever know such an old-fashioned little thing!"
+
+"Well, she's like the girls I knew when I was the age of the Perryville
+parson, so I suppose you'd call her old-fashioned," Dr. Lavendar said.
+"There aren't many such girls nowadays; sweet-tempered and sensible and
+with some fun in 'em."
+
+"Why don't you say 'good,' too?" William King inquired.
+
+"Unnecessary," Dr. Lavendar said, scratching Danny's ear; "anybody who
+is amiable, sensible, and humorous is good. Can't help it."
+
+"The father is good," William King said, "but he is certainly not
+sensible. He's an old donkey, with his TONGUES and his VOICE!"
+
+Dr. Lavendar's face sobered. "No," he said, "he may be an Irvingite,
+but he isn't a donkey."
+
+"What on earth is an Irvingite, anyhow?" William asked.
+
+Dr. Lavendar looked at him, pityingly: "William, you are so
+ridiculously young! Well, I suppose you can't help it. My boy, about
+the time you were born, there was a man in London--some folks called
+him a saint, and some folks called him a fool; it's a way folks have
+had ever since our Lord came into this world. His name was Irving, and
+he started a new sect." (Dr. Lavendar was as open-minded as it is
+possible for one of his Church to be, but even he said "sect" when it
+came to outsiders.)
+
+"He started this new sect, which believed that the Holy Ghost would
+speak again by human lips, just as on the Day of Pentecost. Well,
+there was 'speaking' in his congregation; sort of outbursts of
+exhortation, you know. Mostly unintelligible. I remember Dr.
+Alexander said it was 'gibberish'; he heard some of it when he was in
+London. It may have been 'gibberish,' but nobody can doubt Irving's
+sincerity in thinking it was the Voice of God. When he couldn't
+understand it, he just called it an 'unknown tongue.' Of course he was
+considered a heretic. He was put out of his Church. He died soon
+after, poor fellow."
+
+"Doesn't Mr. Roberts's everlasting arguing about it tire you out?"
+William asked.
+
+"Oh no," Dr. Lavendar said, cheerfully; "when he talks too long I just
+shut my eyes; he never notices it! He's a gentle old soul. When I
+answer back--once in a while I really have to speak up for the
+Protestant Episcopal Church--I feel as if I had kicked Danny." William
+King grinned. Then he got up and, drawing his coat-tails forward,
+stood with his back to the jug of lilacs in Dr. Lavendar's fireplace.
+"Oh, well, of course it's all bosh," he said, and yawned; "I was on a
+case till four o'clock this morning," he apologized.
+
+"William," said Dr. Lavendar, admiringly, "what an advantage you
+fellows have over us poor parsons! Everything a medical man doesn't
+understand is 'bosh'! Now, we can't classify things as easily as that."
+
+"Well, I don't care," William said, doggedly; "from my point of view--"
+
+"From your point of view," said Dr. Lavendar, "St. Paul was an
+epileptic, because he heard a Voice?"
+
+"If you really want to know what I think--"
+
+"I don't," Dr. Lavendar said; "I want you to know what I think. Mr.
+Roberts hasn't heard any Voice, yet; he is only listening for it.
+William, listening for the Voice of God isn't necessarily a sign of
+poor health; and provided a man doesn't set himself up to think he is
+the only person his Heavenly Father is willing to speak to, listening
+won't do him any harm. As for Henry Roberts, he is a humble old man.
+An example to me, William! I am pretty arrogant once in a while. I
+have to be, with such men as you in my congregation. No; the real
+trouble in that household is that girl of his. It isn't right for a
+young thing to live in such an atmosphere."
+
+William agreed sleepily. "Pretty creature. Wish I had a daughter just
+like her," he said, and took himself off to make up for a broken
+night's rest. But Dr. Lavendar and Danny still sat in front of the
+lilac-filled fireplace, and thought of old Henry Roberts listening for
+the Voice of God, and of his Philippa. The father and daughter had
+lately taken a house on a road that wandered over the hills between
+elderberry-bushes and under sycamores, from Old Chester to Perryville.
+They were about half-way between the two little towns, and they did not
+seem to belong to either. Perryville's small manufacturing bustle
+repelled the silent old man whom Dr. Lavendar called an "Irvingite";
+and Old Chester's dignity and dull aloofness repelled young Philippa.
+The result was that the Robertses and their one woman servant, Hannah,
+had been living on the Perryville pike for some months before anybody
+in either village was quite aware of their existence. Then one day in
+May, Dr. Lavendar's sagging old buggy pulled up at their gate, and the
+old minister called over the garden wall to Philippa: "Won't you give
+me some of your apple blossoms?"
+
+That was the beginning of Old Chester's knowledge of the Roberts
+family. A little later Perryville came to know them, too: the Rev. John
+Fenn, pastor of the Perryville Presbyterian Church, got off his big,
+raw-boned Kentucky horse at the same little white gate in the brick
+wall at which Goliath had stopped, and walked solemnly--not noticing
+the apple blossoms--up to the porch. Henry Roberts was sitting there
+in the hot twilight, with a curious listening look in his face--a look
+of waiting expectation; it was so marked, that the caller involuntarily
+glanced over his shoulder to see if any other visitor was approaching;
+but there was nothing to be seen in the dusk but the roan nibbling at
+the hitching-post. Mr. Fenn said that he had called to inquire whether
+Mr. Roberts was a regular attendant at any place of worship. To which
+the old man replied gently that every place was a place of worship, and
+his own house was the House of God. John Fenn was honestly dismayed at
+such sentiments--dismayed, and a little indignant; and yet, somehow,
+the self-confidence of the old man daunted him. It made him feel very
+young, and there is nothing so daunting to Youth as to feel young.
+Therefore he said, venerably, that he hoped Mr. Roberts realized that
+it was possible to deceive oneself in such matters. "It is a dangerous
+thing to neglect the means of grace," he said.
+
+"Surely it is," said Henry Roberts, meekly; after which there was
+nothing for the caller to do but offer the Irvingite a copy of the
+_American Messenger_ and take his departure. He was so genuinely
+concerned about Mr. Roberts's "danger," that he did not notice Philippa
+sitting on a stool at her father's side. But Philippa noticed him.
+
+So, after their kind, did these two shepherds of souls endeavor to
+establish a relationship with Henry and Philippa Roberts. And they
+were equally successful. Philippa gave her apple blossoms to the old
+minister,--and went to Mr. Fenn's church the very next Sunday. Henry
+Roberts accepted the tracts with a simple belief in the kindly purpose
+of the young minister, and stayed away from both churches. But both
+father and daughter were pleased by the clerical attentions:
+
+"I love Dr. Lavendar," Philippa said to her father.
+
+"I am obliged to Mr. Fenn," her father said to Philippa. "The youth,"
+he added, "cares for my soul. I am obliged to any one who cares for my
+soul."
+
+He was, indeed, as Dr. Lavendar said, a man of humble mind; and yet
+with his humbleness was a serene certainty of belief as to his soul's
+welfare that would have been impossible to John Fenn, who measured
+every man's chance of salvation by his own theological yardstick, or
+even to Dr. Lavendar, who thought salvation unmeasurable. But then
+neither of these two ministers had had Henry Roberts's experience. It
+was very far back, that experience; it happened before Philippa was
+born; and when they came to live between the two villages Philippa was
+twenty-four years old....
+
+It was in the thirties that young Roberts, a tanner in Lower Ripple,
+went to England to collect a small bequest left him by a relative. The
+sense of distance, the long weeks at sea in a sailing-vessel, the new
+country and the new people, all impressed themselves upon a very
+sensitive mind, a mind which, even without such emotional preparation,
+was ready to respond to any deeply emotional appeal. Then came the
+appeal. It was that new gospel of the Tongues, which, in those days,
+astounded and thrilled all London from the lips of Edward
+Irving--fanatic, saint, and martyr!--the man who, having prayed that
+God would speak again in prophecy, would not deny the power of prayer
+by refusing to believe that his prayer was answered, even though the
+prophecy was unintelligible. And later, when the passionate cadences
+of the spirit were in English, and were found to be only trite or
+foolish words, repeated and repeated in a wailing chant by some
+sincere, hysterical woman, he still believed that a new day of
+Pentecost had dawned upon a sinful world! "For," said he, "when I
+asked for bread, would God give me a stone?"
+
+Henry Roberts went to hear the great preacher and forgot his haste to
+receive his little legacy so that he might hurry back to the tanyard.
+Irving's eloquence entranced him, and it alone would have held him
+longer than the time he had allowed himself for absence from the
+tannery. But it happened that he was present on that Lord's Day when,
+with a solemn and dreadful sound, the Tongues first spoke in that dingy
+Chapel in Regent Square, and no man who heard that Sound ever forgot
+it! The mystical youth from America was shaken to his very soul. He
+stayed on in London for nearly a year, immersing himself in those tides
+of emotion which swept saner minds than his from the somewhat dry land
+of ordinary human experience. That no personal revelation was made to
+him, that the searing benediction of the Tongues had not touched his
+own awed, uplifted brow, made no difference: he believed!--and prayed
+God to help any lingering unbelief that might be holding him back from
+deeper knowledges. To the end of his days he was Edward Irving's
+follower; and when he went back to America it was as a missionary of
+the new sect, that called itself by the sounding title of The Catholic
+Apostolic Church. In Lower Ripple he preached to any who would listen
+to him the doctrine of the new Pentecost. At first curiosity brought
+him hearers; his story of the Voice, dramatic and mysterious, was
+listened to in doubting silence; then disapproved of--so hotly
+disapproved of that he was sessioned and read out of Church.
+
+But in those days in western Pennsylvania, mere living was too
+engrossing a matter for much thought of "tongues" and "voices"; it was
+easier, when a man talked of dreams and visions, not to argue with him,
+but to say that he was "crazy." So by and by Henry Roberts's heresy
+was forgotten and his religion merely smiled at. Certainly it struck
+no roots outside his own heart. Even his family did not share his
+belief. When he married, as he did when he was nearly fifty, his wife
+was impatient with his Faith--indeed, fearful of it, and with
+persistent, nagging reasonableness urged his return to the respectable
+paths of Presbyterianism. To his pain, when his girl, his Philippa,
+grew up she shrank from the emotion of his creed; she and her mother
+went to the brick church under the locust-trees of Lower Ripple; and
+when her mother died Philippa went there alone, for Henry Roberts, not
+being permitted to bear witness in the Church, did so out of it, by
+sitting at home on the Sabbath day, in a bare upper chamber, waiting
+for the manifestation of the Holy Spirit. It never came. The Tongues
+never spoke. Yet still, while the years passed, he waited,
+listening--listening--listening; a kindly, simple old man with mystical
+brown eyes, believing meekly in his own unworth to hear again that
+Sound from Heaven, as of a rushing, mighty wind, that had filled the
+London Chapel, bowing human souls before it as a great wind bows the
+standing corn!
+
+It was late in the sixties that Henry Roberts brought this faith and
+his Philippa to the stone house on the Perryville pike, where, after
+some months had passed, they were discovered by the old and the young
+ministers. The two clergymen met once or twice in their calls upon the
+new-comer, and each acquired an opinion of the other: John Fenn said to
+himself that the old minister was a good man, if he was an
+Episcopalian; and Dr. Lavendar said to William King that he hoped there
+would be a match between the "theolog" and Philippa.
+
+"The child ought to be married and have a dozen children," he said;
+"although Fenn's little sister will do to begin on--she needs mothering
+badly enough. Yes, Miss Philly ought to be making smearkase and
+apple-butter for that pale and excellent young man. He intimated that I
+was a follower of the Scarlet Woman because I wore a surplice."
+
+"Now look here! I draw the line at that sort of talk," the doctor said;
+"he can lay down the law to me, all he wants to; but when it comes to
+instructing you--"
+
+"Oh, well, he's young," Dr. Lavendar soothed him; "you can't expect him
+not to know everything at his age."
+
+"He's a squirt," said William. In those days in Old Chester middle age
+was apt to sum up its opinion of youth in this expressive word.
+
+"We were all squirts once," said Dr. Lavendar, "and very nice boys we
+were, too--at least I was. Yes, I hope the youngster will see what a
+sweet creature old Roberts's Philippa is."
+
+She was a sweet creature; but as William King said, she was amusingly
+old-fashioned. The Old Chester girl of those days, who seems (to look
+back upon her in these days) so medieval, was modern compared to
+Philippa! But there was nothing mystical about her; she was just
+modest and full of pleasant silences and soft gaieties and simple,
+startling truth-telling. At first, when they came to live near
+Perryville, she used, when the weather was fine, to walk over the
+grassy road, under the brown and white branches of the sycamores, into
+Old Chester, to Dr. Lavendar's church. "I like to come to your
+church," she told him, "because you don't preach quite such long
+sermons as Mr. Fenn does." But when it rained or was very hot she
+chose the shorter walk and sat under John Fenn, looking up at his pale,
+ascetic face, lighted from within by his young certainties concerning
+the old ignorances of people like Dr. Lavendar--life and death and
+eternity. Of Dr. Lavendar's one certainty, Love, he was deeply
+ignorant, this honest boy, who was so concerned for Philippa's father's
+soul! But Philippa did not listen much to his certainties; she coaxed
+his little sister into her pew, and sat with the child cuddled up
+against her, watching her turn over the leaves of the hymn-book or
+trying to braid the fringe of Miss Philly's black silk mantilla into
+little pigtails. Sometimes Miss Philly would look up at the careworn
+young face in the pulpit and think how holy Mary's brother was, and how
+learned--and how shabby; for he had only a housekeeper, Mrs. Semple, to
+take care of him and Mary. Not but what he might have had somebody
+besides Mrs. Semple! Philippa, for all her innocence, could not help
+being aware that he might have had--almost anybody! For others of
+Philly's sex watched the rapt face there in the pulpit. When Philippa
+thought of that, a slow blush used to creep up to her very temples.
+She saw him oftener in the pulpit than out of it, because when he came
+to call on her father she was apt not to be present. At first he came
+very frequently to see the Irvingite, because he felt it his duty to
+"deal" with him; but he made so little impression that he foresaw the
+time when it would be necessary to say that Ephraim was joined to his
+idols. But though it might be right to "let him alone," he could not
+stop calling at Henry Roberts's house; "for," he reminded himself, "the
+believing daughter may sanctify the unbelieving father!" He said this
+once to Dr. Lavendar, when his roan and old Goliath met in a narrow
+lane and paused to let their masters exchange a word or two.
+
+"But do you know what the believing daughter believes?" said Dr.
+Lavendar. He wiped his forehead with his red bandanna, for it was a hot
+day; then he put his old straw hat very far back on his head and looked
+at the young man with a twinkle in his eye, which, considering the
+seriousness of their conversation, was discomfiting; but, after all, as
+John Fenn reminded himself, Dr. Lavendar was very old, and so might be
+forgiven if his mind was lacking in seriousness. As for his question
+of what the daughter believed: "I think--I hope," said the young
+minister, "that she is sound. She comes to my church quite regularly."
+"But she comes to my church quite irregularly," Dr. Lavendar warned
+him; and there was another of those disconcerting twinkles.
+
+The boy looked at him with honest, solemn eyes. "I still believe that
+she is sound," he said, earnestly.
+
+Dr. Lavendar blew his nose with a flourish of the red bandanna. "Well,
+perhaps she is, perhaps she is," he said, gravely. But the reassurance
+of that "perhaps" did not make for John Fenn's peace of mind; he could
+not help asking himself whether Miss Philippa WAS a "believing
+daughter." She did not, he was sure, share her father's heresies, but
+perhaps she was indifferent to them? which would be a grievous thing!
+And certainly, as the old minister had declared, she did go
+"irregularly" to the Episcopal Church. John Fenn wished that he was
+sure of Miss Philippa's state of mind; and at last he said to himself
+that it was his duty to find out about it, so, with his little sister
+beside him, he started on a round of pastoral calls. He found Miss
+Philly sitting in the sunshine on the lowest step of the front
+porch--and it seemed to Mary that there was a good deal of delay in
+getting at the serious business of play; "for brother talks so much,"
+she complained. But "brother" went on talking. He told Miss Philippa
+that he understood she went sometimes to Old Chester to church?
+
+"Sometimes," she said.
+
+"I do not mean," he said, hesitatingly, "to speak uncharitably, but we
+all know that Episcopacy is the handmaid of Papistry."
+
+"Do we?" Philly asked, with grave eyes.
+
+"Yes," said Mr. Fenn. "But even if Dr. Lavendar's teachings are
+defective,"--Mary plucked at his sleeve, and sighed loudly; "(no,
+Mary!)--even if his teachings are defective, he is a good man according
+to his lights; I am sure of that. Still, do you think it well to
+attend a place of worship when you cannot follow the pastor's
+teachings?"
+
+"I love him. And I don't listen to what he says," she excused herself.
+
+"But you should listen to what ministers say," the shocked young man
+protested--"at least to ministers of the right faith. But you should
+not go to church because you love ministers."
+
+Philippa's face flamed. "I do not love--most of them."
+
+Mary, leaning against the girl's knee, looked up anxiously into her
+face. "Do you love brother?" she said.
+
+They were a pretty pair, the child and the girl, sitting there on the
+porch with the sunshine sifting down through the lacy leaves of the two
+big locusts on either side of the door. Philippa wore a pink and green
+palm-leaf chintz; it had six ruffles around the skirt and was gathered
+very full about her slender waist; her lips were red, and her cheeks
+and even her neck were delicately flushed; her red-brown hair was
+blowing all about her temples; Mary had put an arm around her and was
+cuddling against her. Yes, even Mary's brother would have thought the
+two young things a pretty sight had there been nothing more serious to
+think of. But John Fenn's thoughts were so very serious that even
+Mary's question caused him no embarrassment; he merely said, stiffly,
+that he would like to see Miss Philippa alone. "You may wait here,
+Mary," he told his little sister, who frowned and sighed and went out
+to the gate to pull a handful of grass for the roan.
+
+Philippa led her caller to her rarely used parlor, and sat down to
+listen in silent pallor to his exhortations. She made no explanations
+for not coming to his church regularly; she offered no excuse of filial
+tenderness for her indifference to her father's mistaken beliefs; she
+looked down at her hands, clasped tightly in her lap, then out of the
+window at the big roan biting at the hitching-post or standing very
+still to let Mary rub his silky nose. But John Fenn looked only at
+Philippa. Of her father's heresies he would not, he said, do more than
+remind her that the wiles of the devil against her soul might present
+them-selves through her natural affections; but in regard to her
+failure to wait upon the means of grace he spoke without mercy, for, he
+said, "faithful are the wounds of a friend."
+
+"Are you my friend?" Philly asked, lifting her gray eyes suddenly.
+
+Mr. Fenn was greatly confused; the text-books of the Western Seminary
+had not supplied him with the answer to such a question. He explained,
+hurriedly, that he was the friend of all who wished for salvation.
+
+"I do not especially wish for it," Philippa said, very low.
+
+For a moment John Fenn was silent with horror. "That one so young
+should be so hardened!" he thought; aloud, he bade her remember hell
+fire. He spoke with that sad and simple acceptance of the fact with
+which, even less than fifty years ago, men humbled themselves before
+the mystery which they had themselves created, of divine injustice.
+She must know, he said, his voice trembling with sincerity, that those
+who slighted the offers of grace were cast into outer darkness?
+
+Philly said, softly, "Maybe."
+
+"'Maybe?' Alas, it is, certainly! Oh, why, WHY do you absent yourself
+from the house of God?" he said, holding out entreating hands.
+Philippa made no reply. "Let us pray!" said the young man; and they
+knelt down side by side in the shadowy parlor. John Fenn lifted his
+harsh, melancholy face, gazing upward passionately, while he wrestled
+for her salvation; Philly, looking downward, tracing with a trembling
+finger the pattern of the beadwork on the ottoman before which she
+knelt, listened with an inward shiver of dismay and ecstasy. But when
+they rose to their feet she had nothing to say. He, too, was silent.
+He went away quite exhausted by his struggle with this impassive,
+unresisting creature.
+
+He hardly spoke to Mary all the way home. "A hardened sinner," he was
+thinking. "Poor, lovely creature! So young and so lost!" Under Mary's
+incessant chatter, her tugs at the end of the reins, her little bursts
+of joy at the sight of a bird or a roadside flower, he was thinking,
+with a strange new pain--a pain no other sinner had ever roused in
+him--of the girl he had left. He knew that his arguments had not moved
+her. "I believe," he thought, the color rising in his face, "that she
+dislikes me! She says she loves Dr. Lavendar; yes, she must dislike
+me. Is my manner too severe? Perhaps my appearance is unattractive."
+He looked down at his coat uneasily.
+
+As for Philly, left to herself, she picked up a bit of sewing, and her
+face, at first pale, grew slowly pink. "He only likes sinners," she
+thought; "and, oh, I am not a sinner!"
+
+
+
+CHAPTER II
+
+After that on Sabbath mornings Philippa sat with her father, in the
+silent upper chamber. At first Henry Roberts,
+listening--listening--for the Voice, thought, rapturously, that at the
+eleventh hour he was to win a soul--the most precious soul in his
+world!--to his faith. But when, after a while, he questioned her, he
+saw that this was not so; she stayed away from other churches, but not
+because she cared for his church. This troubled him, for the faith he
+had outgrown was better than no faith.
+
+"Do you have doubts concerning the soundness of either of the
+ministers--the old man or the young man?" he asked her, looking at her
+with mild, anxious eyes.
+
+"Oh no, sir," Philly said, smiling.
+
+"Do you dislike them--the young man or the old man?"
+
+"Oh no, father. I love--one of them."
+
+"Then why not go to his church? Either minister can give you the seeds
+of salvation; one not less than the other. Why not sit under either
+ministry?"
+
+"I don't know," Philippa said, faintly.
+
+And indeed she did not know why she absented herself. She only knew two
+things: that the young man seemed to disapprove of the old man; and
+when she saw the young man in the pulpit, impersonal and holy, she
+suffered. Therefore she would not go to hear either man.
+
+When Dr. Lavendar came to call upon her father, he used to glance at
+Philippa sometimes over his spectacles while Henry Roberts was arguing
+about prophecies; but he never asked her why she stayed away from
+church; instead, he talked to her about John Fenn, and he seemed
+pleased when he heard that the young man was doing his duty in making
+pastoral calls. "And I--I, unworthy as I was!" Henry Roberts would
+say, "I heard the Voice, speaking through a sister's lips; and it said:
+Oh, sinner! for what, for what, what can separate, separate, from the
+love... Oh, nothing. Oh, nothing. Oh, nothing."
+
+He would stare at Dr. Lavendar with parted lips. "I HEARD IT," he
+would say, in a whisper.
+
+And Dr. Lavendar, bending his head gravely, would be silent for a
+respectful moment, and then he would look at Philippa. "You are
+teaching Fenn's sister to sew?" he would say. "Very nice! Very nice!"
+
+Philly saw a good deal of the sister that summer; the young minister,
+recognizing Miss Philippa's fondness for Mary, and remembering a text
+as to the leading of a child, took pains to bring the little girl to
+Henry Roberts's door once or twice a week; and as August burned away
+into September Philippa's pleasure in her was like a soft wind blowing
+on the embers of her heart and kindling a flame for which she knew no
+name. She thought constantly of Mary, and had many small anxieties
+about her--her dress, her manners, her health; she even took the child
+into Old Chester one day to get William King to pull a little loose
+white tooth. Philly shook very much during the operation and mingled
+her tears with Mary's in that empty and bleeding moment that follows
+the loss of a tooth. She was so passionately tender with the little
+girl that the doctor told Dr. Lavendar that his match-making scheme
+seemed likely to prosper--"she's so fond of the sister, you should have
+heard her sympathize with the little thing!--that I think she will
+smile on the brother," he said.
+
+"I'm afraid the brother hasn't cut his wisdom teeth yet," Dr. Lavendar
+said, doubtfully; "if he had, you might pull them, and she could
+sympathize with him; then it would all arrange itself. Well, he's a
+nice boy, a nice boy;--and he won't know so much when he gets a little
+older."
+
+It was on the way home from Dr. King's that Philippa's feeling of
+responsibility about Mary brought her a sudden temptation. They were
+walking hand in hand along the road. The leaves on the mottled
+branches of the sycamores were thinning now, and the sunshine fell warm
+upon the two young things, who were still a little shaken from the
+frightful experience of tooth-pulling. The doctor had put the small
+white tooth in a box and gravely presented it to Mary, and now, as they
+walked along, she stopped sometimes to examine it and say, proudly, how
+she had "bleeded and bleeded!"
+
+"Will you tell brother the doctor said I behaved better than the circus
+lion when his tooth was pulled?"
+
+"Indeed I will, Mary!"
+
+"An' he said he'd rather pull my tooth than a lion's tooth?"
+
+"Of course I'll tell him."
+
+"Miss Philly, shall I dream of my tooth, do you suppose?"
+
+Philippa laughed and said she didn't know.
+
+"I hope I will; it means something nice. I forget what, now."
+
+"Dreams don't mean anything, Mary."
+
+"Oh yes, they do!" the child assured her, skipping along with one arm
+round the girl's slender waist. "Mrs. Semple has a dream-book, and she
+reads it to me every day, an' she reads me what my dreams mean.
+Sometimes I haven't any dreams," Mary admitted, regretfully, "but she
+reads all the same. Did you ever dream about a black ox walking on its
+back legs? I never did. I don't want to. It means trouble."
+
+"Goosey!" said Miss Philippa.
+
+"If you dream of the moon," Mary went on, happily, "it means you are
+going to have a beau who'll love you."
+
+"Little girls mustn't talk about love," Philippa said, gravely; but the
+color came suddenly into her face. To dream of the moon means--Why!
+but only the night before she had dreamed that she had been walking in
+the fields and had seen the moon rise over shocks of corn that stood
+against the sky like the plumed heads of Indian warriors! "Such things
+are foolish, Mary," Miss Philly said, her cheeks very pink. And while
+Mary chattered on about Mrs. Semple's book Philippa was silent,
+remembering how yellow the great flat disk of the moon had been in her
+dream; how it pushed up from behind the black edge of the world, and
+how, suddenly, the misty stubble-field was flooded with its strange
+light:--"you are going to have a beau!"
+
+Philippa wished she might see the book, just to know what sort of
+things were read to Mary. "It isn't right to read them to the child,"
+she thought; "it's a foolish book, Mary," she said, aloud. "I never
+saw such a book."
+
+"I'll bring it the next time I come," Mary promised.
+
+"Oh no, no," Philly said, a little breathlessly; "it's a wrong book. I
+couldn't read such a book, except--except to tell you how foolish and
+wrong it is."
+
+Mary was not concerned with her friend's reasons; but she remembered to
+bring the ragged old book with her the very next time her brother
+dropped her at Mr. Roberts's gate to spend an hour with Miss Philippa.
+There had to be a few formal words between the preacher and the sinner
+before Mary had entire possession of her playmate, but when her brother
+drove away, promising to call for her later in the afternoon, she
+became so engrossed in the important task of picking hollyhock seeds
+that she quite forgot the dream-book. The air was hazy with autumn,
+and full of the scent of fallen leaves and dew-drenched grass and of
+the fresh tan-bark on the garden paths. On the other side of the road
+was a corn-field, where the corn stood in great shocks. Philly looked
+over at it, and drew a quick breath,--her dream!
+
+"Did you bring that foolish book?" she said.
+
+Mary, slapping her pocket, laughed loudly. "I 'most forgot! Yes,
+ma'am; I got it. I'll show what it says about the black ox--"
+
+"No; you needn't," Miss Philly said; "you pick some more seeds for me,
+and I'll--just look at it." She touched the stained old book with
+shrinking fingertips; the moldering leather cover and the odor of
+soiled and thumb-marked leaves offended her. The first page was folded
+over, and when she spread it out, the yellowing paper cracked along its
+ancient creases; it was a map, with the signs of the Zodiac; in the
+middle was a single verse:
+
+ Mortal! Wouldst thou scan aright
+ Dreams and visions of the night?
+ Wouldst thou future secrets learn
+ And the fate of dreams discern?
+ Wouldst thou ope the Curtain dark
+ And thy future fortune mark?
+ Try the mystic page, and read
+ What the vision has decreed.
+
+Philly, holding her red lip between her teeth, turned the pages:
+
+"MONEY. TO DREAM OF FINDING MONEY; MOURNING AND LOSS.
+
+"MONKEY. YOU HAVE SECRET ENEMIES.
+
+"MOON." (Philippa shivered.) "A GOOD OMEN; IT DENOTES COMING JOY.
+GREAT SUCCESS IN LOVE."
+
+She shut the book sharply, then opened it again. Such books sometimes
+told (so foolishly!) of charms which would bring love. She looked
+furtively at Mary; but the child, pulling down a great hollyhock to
+pick the fuzzy yellow disks, was not noticing Miss Philly's interest in
+the "foolish book." Philippa turned over the pages. Yes; the charms
+were there!...
+
+Instructions for making dumb-cake, to cut which reveals a lover: "ANY
+NUMBER OF YOUNG FEMALES SHALL TAKE A HANDFUL OF WHEATEN FLOUR--" That
+was no use; there were too many females as it was!
+
+"TO KNOW WHETHER A MAN SHALL HAVE THE WOMAN HE WISHES." Philippa
+sighed. Not that. A holy man does not "wish" for a woman.
+
+"A CHARM TO CHARM A MAN'S LOVE." The blood suddenly ran tingling in
+Philly's veins. "LET A YOUNG MAID PICK OF ROSEMARY TWO ROOTS; OF
+MONK'S-HOOD--"
+
+A line had been drawn through this last word, and another word written
+above it; but the ink was so faded, the page so woolly and thin with
+use, that it was impossible to decipher the correction; perhaps it was
+"mother-wort," an herb Philly did not know; or it might be "mandrake"?
+It looked as much like one as the other, the writing was so blurred and
+dim. "It is best to take what the book says," Philly said, simply;
+"besides, I haven't those other things in the garden, and I have
+monk's-hood and rosemary--if I should want to do it, just for fun."
+
+"OF MONK'S-HOOD TWO ROOTS, AND OF THE FLOWER OF CORN TEN THREADS; LET
+HER SLEEP ON THEM ONE NIGHT. IN THE MORNING, LET HER SET THEM ON HER
+HEART AND WALK BACKWARDS TEN STEPS, PRAYING FOR THE LOVE OF HER
+BELOVED. LET HER THEN STEEP AND BOIL THESE THINGS IN FOUR GILLS OF
+PURE WATER ON WHICH THE MOON HAS SHONE FOR ONE NIGHT. WHEN SHE SHALL
+ADD THIS PHILTER TO THE DRINK OF THE ONE WHO LOVES HER NOT, HE SHALL
+LOVE THE FEMALE WHO MEETS HIS EYE FIRST AFTER THE DRINKING THEREOF.
+THEREFORE LET THE YOUNG MAID BE INDUSTRIOUS TO STAND BEFORE HIM WHEN HE
+SHALL DRINK IT."
+
+"There is no harm in it," said Philly.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER III
+
+"Somebody making herb tea and stealing my business?" said William King,
+in his kindly voice; he had called to see old Hannah, who had been laid
+up for a day or two, and he stopped at the kitchen door to look in.
+Henry Roberts, coming from the sitting-room to join him, asked his
+question, too:
+
+"What is this smell of herbs, Philippa? Are you making a drink for
+Hannah?" "Oh no, father," Philly said, briefly, her face very pink.
+
+William King sniffed and laughed. "Ah, I see you don't give away your
+secrets to a rival," he said; and added, pleasantly, "but don't give
+your tea to Hannah without telling me what it is."
+
+Miss Philippa said, dutifully, "Oh no, sir." But she did not tell him
+what the "tea" was, and certainly she offered none of it to old Hannah.
+All that day there was a shy joyousness about her, with sudden soft
+blushes, and once or twice a little half-frightened laugh; there was a
+puzzled look, too, in her face, as if she was not quite sure just what
+she was going to do, or rather, how she was going to do it. And, of
+course, that was the difficulty. How could she "add the philter to the
+drink of one who loved her not"?
+
+Yet it came about simply enough. John Fenn had lately felt it borne in
+upon him that it was time to make another effort to deal with Henry
+Roberts; perhaps, he reasoned, to show concern about the father's soul
+might touch the daughter's hardened heart. It was when he reached this
+conclusion that he committed the extravagance of buying a new coat. So
+it happened that that very afternoon, while the house was still pungent
+with the scent of steeping herbs, he came to Henry Roberts's door, and
+knocked solemnly, as befitted his errand; (but as he heard her step in
+the hall he passed an anxious hand over a lapel of the new coat). Her
+father, she said, was not at home; would Mr. Fenn come in and wait for
+him? Mr. Fenn said he would. And as he always tried, poor boy! to be
+instant in season and out of season, he took the opportunity, while he
+waited for her father and she brought him a glass of wine and a piece
+of cake, to reprove her again for absence from church. But she was so
+meek that he found it hard to inflict those "faithful wounds" which
+should prove his friendship for her soul; she sat before him on the
+slippery horsehair sofa in the parlor, her hands locked tightly
+together in her lap, her eyes downcast, her voice very low and
+trembling. She admitted her backslidings: she acknowledged her errors;
+but as for coming to church--she shook her head:
+
+"Please, I won't come to church yet."
+
+"You mean you will come, sometime?"
+
+"Yes; sometime."
+
+"Behold, NOW is the accepted time!"
+
+"I will come... afterwards."
+
+"After what?" he insisted.
+
+"After--" she said, and paused. Then suddenly lifted bold, guileless
+eyes: "After you stop caring for my soul."
+
+John Fenn caught his breath. Something, he did not know what, seemed
+to jar him rudely from that pure desire for her salvation; he said,
+stumblingly, that he would ALWAYS care for her soul!--"for--for any
+one's soul." And was she quite well? His voice broke with tenderness.
+She must be careful to avoid the chill of these autumnal afternoons;
+"you are pale," he said, passionately--"don't--oh, don't be so pale!"
+It occurred to him that if she waited for him "not to care" for her
+salvation, she might die in her sins; die before coming to the gate of
+heaven, which he was so anxious to open to her!
+
+Philippa did not see his agitation; she was not looking at him. She
+only said, softly, "Perhaps you will stay to tea?"
+
+He answered quickly that he would be pleased to do so. In the
+simplicity of his saintly egotism it occurred to him that the religious
+pleasure of entertaining him might be a means of grace to her. When
+she left him in the dusk of the chilly room to go and see to the
+supper, he fell into silent prayer for the soul that did not desire his
+care.
+
+Henry Roberts, summoned by his daughter to entertain the guest until
+supper was ready, found him sitting in the darkness of the parlor; the
+old man was full of hospitable apologies for his Philippa's
+forgetfulness; "she did not remember the lamp!" he lamented; and making
+his way through the twilight of the room, he took off the prism-hung
+shade of the tall astral lamp on the center-table, and fumbled for a
+match to light the charred and sticky wick; there were very few
+occasions in this plain household when it was worth while to light the
+best lamp! This was one of them, for in those days the office
+dignified the man to a degree that is hardly understood now. But Henry
+Roberts's concern was not entirely a matter of social propriety; it was
+a desire to propitiate this young man who was living in certain errors
+of belief, so that he would be in a friendly attitude of mind and open
+to the arguments which were always burning on the lips of Edward
+Irving's follower. He did not mean to begin them until they were at
+supper; so he and John Fenn sat in silence waiting Philippa's summons
+to the dining-room. Neither of them had any small talk; Mr. Roberts
+was making sure that he could trust his memory to repeat those wailing
+cadences of the Voice, and John Fenn, still shaken by something he
+could not understand that had been hidden in what he understood too
+well--a sinner's indifference to grace--was trying to get back to his
+serene, impersonal arrogance.
+
+As for Philippa, she was frightened at her temerity in having invited
+the minister to a Hannahless supper; her flutter of questions as to
+"what" and "how" brought the old woman from her bed, in spite of the
+girl's half-hearted protests that she "mustn't think of getting up!
+Just tell me what to do," she implored, "I can manage. We are going to
+have--TEA!"
+
+"We always have tea," Hannah said, sourly; yet she was not really sour,
+for, like William King and Dr. Lavendar, Hannah had discerned
+possibilities in the Rev. John Fenn's pastoral visits. "Get your
+Sunday-go-to-meeting dress on," she commanded, hunching a shawl over a
+rheumatic shoulder and motioning the girl out of the kitchen.
+
+Philippa, remorseful and breathless, ran quickly up to her room to put
+on her best frock, smooth her shining hair down in two loops over her
+ears, and pin her one adornment, a flat gold brooch, on the bosom of
+her dress. She lifted her candle and looked at herself in the black
+depths of the little swinging glass on her high bureau, and her face
+fell into sudden wistful lines. "Oh, I do not look wicked," she
+thought, despairingly.
+
+John Fenn, glancing at her across the supper-table, had some such
+thought himself; how strange that one who was so perverted in belief
+should not betray perversion in her countenance. "On the contrary, her
+face is pleasing," he said, simply. He feared, noticing the brooch,
+that she was vain, as well as indifferent to her privileges; he
+wondered if she had observed his new coat.
+
+Philippa's vanity did not, at any rate, give her much courage; she
+scarcely spoke, except to ask him whether he took cream and sugar in
+his tea. When she handed his cup to him, she said, very low, "Will you
+taste it, and see if it is right?"
+
+He was so conscious of the tremor of her voice and hand that he made
+haste to reassure her, sipping his tea with much politeness of manner;
+as he did so, she said, suddenly, and with compelling loudness, "Is
+it--agreeable?"
+
+John Fenn, startled, looked at her over the rim of his cup. "Very;
+very indeed," he said, quickly. But he instantly drank some water. "It
+is, perhaps, a little strong," he said, blinking. Then, having
+qualified his politeness for conscience' sake, he drank all the bitter
+tea for human kindness' sake--for evidently Miss Philippa had taken
+pains to give him what he might like. After that she did not speak,
+but her face grew very rosy while she sat in silence listening to her
+father and their guest. Henry Roberts forgot to eat, in the passion of
+his theological arguments, but as supper proceeded he found his
+antagonist less alert than usual; the minister defended his own
+doctrines instead of attacking those of his host; he even admitted, a
+little listlessly, that if the Power fell upon him, if he himself spoke
+in a strange tongue, then perhaps he would believe--"that is, if I
+could be sure I was not out of my mind at the time," he qualified,
+dully. Philippa took no part in the discussion; it would not have been
+thought becoming in her to do so; but indeed, she hardly heard what the
+two men were saying. She helped old Hannah carry away the dishes, and
+then sat down by the table and drew the lamp near her so that she could
+sew; she sat there smiling a little, dimpling even, and looking down at
+her seam; she did not notice that John Fenn was being worsted, or that
+once he failed altogether to reply, and sat in unprotesting silence
+under Henry Roberts's rapt remembrances. A curious blackness had
+settled under his eyes, and twice he passed his hand across his lips.
+
+"They are numb," he said, in surprised apology to his host. A moment
+later he shivered violently, beads of sweat burst out on his forehead,
+and the color swept from his face. He started up, staring wildly about
+him; he tried to speak, but his words stumbled into incoherent
+babbling. It was all so sudden, his rising, then falling back into his
+chair, then slipping sidewise and crumpling up upon the floor, all the
+while stammering unmeaning words--that Henry Roberts sat looking at him
+in dumb amazement. It was Philippa who cried out and ran forward to
+help him, then stopped midway, her hands clutched together at her
+throat, her eyes dilating with a horror that seemed to paralyze her so
+that she was unable to move to his assistance. The shocked silence of
+the moment was broken by Fenn's voice, trailing on and on, in totally
+unintelligible words.
+
+Henry Roberts, staring open-mouthed, suddenly spoke: "The VOICE!" he
+said. But Philippa, as though she were breaking some invisible bond
+that held her, groaning even with the effort of it, said, in a whisper:
+"No. Not that. He is dying. Don't you see? That's what it is. He is
+dying."
+
+Her father, shocked from his ecstasy, ran to John Fenn's side, trying
+to lift him and calling upon him to say what was the matter.
+
+"He is going to die," said Philippa, monotonously.
+
+Henry Roberts, aghast, calling loudly to old Hannah, ran to the kitchen
+and brought back a great bowl of hot water. "Drink it!" he said. "Drink
+it, I tell ye! I believe you're poisoned!"
+
+And while he and Hannah bent over the unconscious young man, Philippa
+seemed to come out of her trance; slowly, with upraised hands, and head
+bent upon her breast, she stepped backward, backward, out of the room,
+out of the house. On the doorstep, in the darkness, she paused and
+listened for several minutes to certain dreadful sounds in the house.
+Then, suddenly, a passion of purpose swept the daze of horror away.
+
+"HE SHALL NOT DIE," she said.
+
+She flung her skirt across her arm that her feet might not be hampered,
+and fled down the road toward Old Chester. It was very dark. At first
+her eyes, still blurred with the lamplight, could not distinguish the
+footpath, and she stumbled over the grassy border into the wheel-ruts;
+then, feeling the loose dust under her feet, she ran and ran and ran.
+The blood began to sing in her ears; once her throat seemed to close so
+that she could not breathe, and for a moment she had to walk,--but her
+hands, holding up her skirts, trembled with terror at the delay. The
+road was very dark under the sycamore-trees; twice she tripped and fell
+into the brambles at one side or against a gravelly bank on the other.
+But stumbling somehow to her feet, again she ran and ran and ran. The
+night was very still; she could hear her breath tearing her throat;
+once she felt something hot and salty in her mouth; it was then she had
+to stop and walk for a little space--she must walk or fall down! And
+she could not fall down, no! no! no! he would die if she fell down!
+Once a figure loomed up in the haze, and she caught the glimmer of an
+inquisitive eye. "Say," a man's voice said, "where are you bound for?"
+There was something in the tone that gave her a stab of fright; for a
+minute or two her feet seemed to fly, and she heard a laugh behind her
+in the darkness: "What's your hurry?" the voice called after her. And
+still she ran. But she was saying to herself that she must STOP; she
+must stand still just for a moment. "Oh, just for a minute?" her body
+whimperingly entreated; she would not listen to it! She must not
+listen, even though her heart burst with the strain. But her body had
+its way, and she fell into a walk, although she was not aware of it.
+In a gasping whisper she was saying, over and over: "Doctor, hurry;
+he'll die; hurry; I killed him." She tried to be silent, but her lips
+moved mechanically. "Doctor, hurry; he'll--Oh, I MUSTN'T talk!" she
+told herself, "it takes my breath"--but still her lips moved. She began
+to run, heavily. "I can't talk--if--I--run--" It was then that she
+saw a glimmer of light and knew that she was almost in Old Chester.
+Very likely she would have fallen if she had not seen that far-off
+window just when she did.
+
+At William King's house she dropped against the door, her fingers still
+clinging to the bell. She was past speaking when the doctor lifted her
+and carried her into the office. "No; don't try to tell me what it
+is," he said; "I'll put Jinny into the buggy, and we'll get back in a
+jiffy. I understand; Hannah is worse."
+
+"Not... Hannah--"
+
+"Your father?" he said, picking up his medicine-case.
+
+"Not father; Mr.--Fenn--"
+
+As the doctor hurried out to the stable to hitch up he bade his wife
+put certain remedies into his bag,--"and look after that child," he
+called over his shoulder to his efficient Martha. She was so efficient
+that when he had brought Jinny and the buggy to the door, Philly was
+able to gasp out that Mr. Fenn was sick. "Dying."
+
+"Don't try to talk," he said again, as he helped her into the buggy.
+But after a while she was able to tell him, hoarsely:
+
+"I wanted him to love me." William King was silent. "I used a charm.
+It was wicked."
+
+"Come, come; not wicked," said the doctor; "a little foolish, perhaps.
+A new frock, and a rose in your hair, and a smile at another man, would
+be enough of a charm, my dear."
+
+Philippa shook her head. "It was not enough. I wore my best frock, and
+I went to Dr. Lavendar's church--"
+
+"Good gracious!" said William King.
+
+"They were not enough. So I used a charm. I made a drink--"
+
+"Ah!" said the doctor, frowning. "What was in the drink, Miss Philly?"
+
+"Perhaps it was not the right herb," she said; "it may have been
+'mother-wort'; but the book said 'monk's-hood,' and I--"
+
+William King reached for his whip and cut Jinny across the flanks.
+"ACONITE!" he said under his breath, while Jinny leaped forward in
+shocked astonishment.
+
+"Will he live?" said Philippa. Dr. King, flecking Jinny again, and
+letting his reins hang over the dashboard, could not help putting a
+comforting arm around her. "I hope so," he said; "I hope so!" After
+all, there was no use telling the child that probably by this time her
+lover was either dead or getting better. "It's his own fault," William
+King thought, angrily. "Why in thunder didn't he fall in love like a
+man, instead of making the child resort to--G'on, Jinny! G'on!" He
+still had the whip in his hand when they drew up at the gate.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IV
+
+When Philippa Roberts had fled out into the night for help, her father
+and old Hannah were too alarmed to notice her absence. They went
+hurrying back and forth with this remedy and that. Again and again
+they were ready to give up; once Henry Roberts said, "He is gone!" and
+once Hannah began to cry, and said, "Poor lad, poor boy!" Yet each
+made one more effort, their shadows looming gigantic against the walls
+or stretching across the ceiling, bending and sinking as they knelt
+beside the poor young man, who by that time was beyond speech. So the
+struggle went on. But little by little life began to gain. John
+Fenn's eyes opened. Then he smiled. Then he said something-they could
+not hear what.
+
+"Bless the Lord!" said Henry Roberts.
+
+"He's asking for Philly," said old Hannah. By the time the doctor and
+Philippa reached the house the shadow of death had lifted.
+
+"It must have been poison," Mr. Roberts told the doctor. "When he gets
+over it he will tell us what it was."
+
+"I don't believe he will," said William King; he was holding Fenn's
+wrist between his firm fingers, and then he turned up a fluttering
+eyelid and looked at the still dulled eye.
+
+Philippa, kneeling on the other side of John Fenn, said loudly: "I
+will tell HIM--and perhaps God will forgive me."
+
+The doctor, glancing up at her, said: "No, you won't--anyhow at
+present. Take that child up-stairs, Hannah," he commanded, "and put her
+to bed. She ran all the way to Old Chester to get me," he explained to
+Henry Roberts.
+
+Before he left the house that night he sat for a few minutes at
+Philippa's bedside. "My dear little girl," he said, in his kind,
+sensible voice, "the best thing to do is to forget it. It was a
+foolish thing to do--that charm business; but happily no harm is done.
+Now say nothing about it, and never do it again."
+
+Philippa turned her shuddering face away. "Do it again? OH!"
+
+As William King went home he apologized to Jinny for that cut across
+her flanks by hanging the reins on the overhead hook, and letting her
+plod along at her own pleasure. He was saying to himself that he hoped
+he had done right to tell the child to hold her tongue. "It was just
+tomfoolery," he argued; "there was no sin about it, so confession
+wouldn't do her any good; on the contrary, it would hurt a girl's
+self-respect to have a man know she had tried to catch him. But what a
+donkey he was not to see.... Oh yes; I'm sure I'm right," said William
+King. "I wonder how Dr. Lavendar would look at it?"
+
+Philippa, at any rate, was satisfied with his advice. Perhaps the
+story of what she had done might have broken from her pale lips had her
+father asked any questions; but Henry Roberts had retreated into
+troubled silence. There had been one wonderful moment when he thought
+that at last his faith was to be justified and by the unbeliever
+himself! and he had cried out, with a passion deferred for more than
+thirty years: "The VOICE!" But behold, the voice, babbling and
+meaningless, was nothing but sickness. No one could guess what the
+shock of that disappointment was. He was not able even to speak of it.
+So Philippa was asked no awkward questions, and her self-knowledge
+burned deep into her heart.
+
+In the next few days, while the minister was slowly recovering in the
+great four-poster in Henry Roberts's guest-room, she listened to
+Hannah's speculations as to the cause of his attack, and expressed no
+opinion. She was dumb when John Fenn tried to tell her how grateful he
+was to her for that terrible run through the darkness for his sake.
+
+"You should not be grateful," she said, at last, in a whisper.
+
+But he was grateful; and, furthermore, he was very happy in those days
+of slow recovery. The fact was that that night, when he had been so
+near death, he had heard Philippa, in his first dim moments of
+returning consciousness, stammering out those distracted words:
+"Perhaps God will forgive me." To John Fenn those words meant the
+crowning of all his efforts: she had repented!
+
+"Truly," he said, lying very white and feeble on his pillow and looking
+into Philly's face when she brought him his gruel, "truly,
+
+ "He moves in a mysterious way
+ His wonders to perform!"
+
+The "mysterious way" was the befalling of that terrible illness in
+Henry Roberts's house, so that Philippa should be impressed by it. "If
+my affliction has been blessed to any one else, I am glad to have
+suffered it," he said.
+
+Philippa silently put a spoonful of gruel between his lips; he
+swallowed it as quickly as he could. "I heard you call upon God for
+forgiveness; the Lord is merciful and gracious!"
+
+Philly said, very low, "Yes; oh YES." So John Fenn thanked God and took
+his gruel, and thought it was very good. He thought, also, that Miss
+Philippa was very good to be so good to him. In those next few days,
+before he was strong enough to be moved back to his own house, he
+thought more of her goodness and less of her salvation. It was then
+that he had his great moment, his revealing moment! All of a sudden,
+at the touch of Life, his honest artificiality had dropped from him,
+and he knew that he had never before known anything worth knowing! He
+knew he was in love. He knew it when he realized that he was not in
+the least troubled about her soul. "That is what she meant!" he
+thought; "she wanted me to care for her, before I cared for her soul."
+He was so simple in his acceptance of the revelation that she loved
+him, that when he went to ask her to be his wife the blow of her reply
+almost knocked him back into his ministerial affectations:
+
+"No."
+
+When John Fenn got home that evening he went into his study and shut
+the door. Mary came and pounded on it, but he only said, in a muffled
+voice:
+
+"No, Mary. Not now. Go away."
+
+He was praying for resignation to what he told himself was the will of
+God. "The Lord is unwilling that my thoughts should be diverted from
+His service by my own personal happiness." Then he tried to put his
+thoughts on that service by deciding upon a text for his next sermon.
+But the texts which suggested themselves were not steadying to his
+bewildered mind:
+
+"LOVE ONE ANOTHER." ("I certainly thought she loved me.")
+
+"MARVEL NOT, MY BRETHREN, IF THE WORLD HATE YOU." ("I am, perhaps,
+personally unattractive to her; and yet I wonder why?") He was not a
+conceited man; but, like all his sex, he really did "marvel" a little
+at the lack of feminine appreciation. He marveled so much that a week
+later he took Mary and walked out to Mr. Roberts's house. This time
+Mary, to her disgust, was left with Miss Philly's father, while her
+brother and Miss Philly walked in the frosted garden. Later, when that
+walk was over, and the little sister trudged along at John Fenn's side
+in the direction of Perryville, she was very fretful because he would
+not talk to her. He was occupied, poor boy, in trying again not to
+"marvel," and to be submissive to the divine will.
+
+After that, for several months, he refused Mary's plea to be taken to
+visit Miss Philly. He had, he told himself, "submitted"; but
+submission left him very melancholy and solemn, and also a little
+resentful; indeed, he was so low in his mind, that once he threw out a
+bitter hint to Dr. Lavendar,--who, according to his wont, put two and
+two together.
+
+"Men in our profession, sir," said John Fenn, "must not expect personal
+happiness."
+
+"Well," said Dr. Lavendar, meditatively, "perhaps if we don't expect
+it, the surprise of getting it makes it all the better. I expected it;
+but I've exceeded my expectations!"
+
+"But you are not married," the young man said, impulsively.
+
+Dr. Lavendar's face changed; "I hope you will marry, Fenn," he said,
+quietly. At which John Fenn said, "I am married to my profession; that
+is enough for any minister."
+
+"You'll find your profession a mighty poor housekeeper," said Dr.
+Lavendar.
+
+It was shortly after this that Mr. Fenn and his big roan broke through
+the snow-drifts and made their way to Henry Roberts's house. "I must
+speak to you alone, sir," he said to the Irvingite, who, seeing him
+approaching, had hastened to open the door for him and draw him in out
+of the cold sunshine.
+
+What the caller had to say was brief and to the point: Why was his
+daughter so unkind? John Fenn did not feel now that the world--which
+meant Philippa--hated him. He felt--he could not help feeling--that
+she did not even dislike him; "on the contrary...." So what reason had
+she for refusing him? But old Mr. Roberts shook his head. "A young
+female does not have 'reasons,'" he said. But he was sorry for the
+youth, and he roused himself from his abstraction long enough to
+question his girl:
+
+"He is a worthy young man, my Philippa. Why do you dislike him?"
+
+"I do not dislike him."
+
+"Then why--?" her father protested.
+
+But Philly was silent.
+
+Even Hannah came to the rescue:
+
+"You'll get a crooked stick at the end, if you don't look out!"
+
+Philly laughed; then her face fell. "I sha'n't have any stick, ever!"
+
+And Hannah, in her concern, confided her forebodings about the stick to
+Dr. King.
+
+"I wonder," William said to himself, uneasily, "if I was wise to tell
+that child to hold her tongue? Perhaps they might have straightened it
+out between 'em before this, if she had told him and been done with it.
+I've a great mind to ask Dr. Lavendar."
+
+He did ask him; at first with proper precautions not to betray a
+patient's confidence, but, at a word from Dr. Lavendar, tumbling into
+truthfulness.
+
+"You are talking about young Philippa Roberts?" Dr. Lavendar announced,
+calmly, when William was half-way through his story of concealed
+identities.
+
+"How did you guess it?" the doctor said, astonished; "oh, well, yes, I
+am. I guess there's no harm telling you--" "Not the slightest," said
+Dr. Lavendar, "especially as I knew it already from the young man--I
+mean, I knew she wouldn't have him. But I didn't know why until your
+story dovetailed with his. William, the thing has festered in her!
+The lancet ought to have been used the next day. I believe she'd have
+been married by this time if she'd spoken out, then and there."
+
+William King was much chagrined. "I thought, being a girl, you know,
+her pride, her self-respect--"
+
+"Oh yes; the lancet hurts," Dr. Lavendar admitted; "but it's better
+than--well, I don't know the terms of your trade, Willy-but I guess you
+know what I mean?"
+
+"I guess I do," said William King, thoughtfully. "Do you suppose it's
+too late now?"
+
+"It will be more of an operation," Dr. Lavendar conceded.
+
+"Could I tell him?" William said, after a while.
+
+"I don't see why not," Dr. Lavendar said.
+
+"I suppose I'd have to ask her permission?"
+
+"Nonsense!" said Dr. Lavendar.
+
+That talk between the physician of the soul and the physician of the
+body happened on the very night when John Fenn, in his study in
+Perryville, with Mary dozing on his knee, threw over, once and for all,
+what he had called "submission" and made up his mind to get his girl!
+The very next morning he girded himself and walked forth upon the Pike
+toward Henry Roberts's house. He did not take Mary with him,--but not
+because he meant to urge salvation on Miss Philly! As it happened, Dr.
+King, too, set out upon the Perryville road that morning, remarking to
+Jinny that if he had had his wits about him that night in November, she
+would have been saved the trip on this May morning. The trip was easy
+enough; William had found a medical pamphlet among his mail, and he was
+reading it, with the reins hanging from the crook of his elbow. It was
+owing to this method of driving that John Fenn reached the Roberts
+house before Jinny passed it, so she went all the way to Perryville,
+and then had to turn round to follow on his track.
+
+"Brother went to see Miss Philly, and he wouldn't take me," Mary
+complained to William King, when he drew up at the minister's door; and
+the doctor was sympathetic to the extent of five cents for candy
+comfort.
+
+But when Jinny reached the Roberts gate Dr. King saw John Fenn down in
+the garden with Philippa. "Ho-ho!" said William. "I guess I'll wait
+and see if he works out his own salvation." He hitched Jinny, and went
+in to find Philippa's father, and to him he freed his mind. The two
+men sat on the porch looking down over the tops of the lilac-bushes
+into the garden, where they could just see the heads of the two young,
+unhappy people.
+
+"It's nonsense, you know," said William King, "that Philly doesn't take
+that boy. He's head over heels in love with her."
+
+"She is not attached to him in any such manner," Henry Roberts said; "I
+wonder a little at it, myself. He is a good youth."
+
+The doctor looked at him wonderingly; it occurred to him that if he had
+a daughter he would understand her better than Philly's father
+understood her. "I think the child cares for him," he said; then,
+hesitatingly, he referred to John Fenn's sickness. "I suppose you know
+about it?" he said.
+
+Philly's father bent his head; he knew, he thought, only too well; no
+divine revelation in a disordered digestion!
+
+"Don't you think," William King said, smiling, "you might try to make
+her feel that she is wrong not to accept him, now that the charm has
+worked, so to speak?"
+
+"The charm?" the old man repeated, vaguely.
+
+"I thought you understood," the doctor said, frowning; then, after a
+minute's hesitation, he told him the facts.
+
+Henry Roberts stared at him, shocked and silent; his girl, his
+Philippa, to have done such a thing! "So great a sin--my little
+Philly!" he said, faintly. He was pale with distress.
+
+"My dear sir," Dr. King protested, impatiently, "don't talk about SIN
+in connection with that child. I wish I'd held my tongue!"
+
+Henry Roberts was silent. Philippa's share in John Fenn's mysterious
+illness removed it still further from that revelation, waited for
+during all these years with such passionate patience. He paid no
+attention to William King's reassurances; and his silence was so
+silencing that by and by the doctor stopped talking and looked down
+into the garden again. He observed that those two heads had not drawn
+any nearer together. It was not John Fenn's fault....
+
+"There can be no good reason," he was saying to Philippa. "If it is a
+bad reason, I will overcome it! Tell me why?"
+
+She put her hand up to her lips and trembled.
+
+"Come," he said; "it is my due, Philippa. I WILL know!"
+
+Philippa shook her head. He took her other hand and stroked it, as one
+might stroke a child's hand to comfort and encourage it.
+
+"You must tell me, beloved," he said. Philippa looked at him with
+scared eyes; then, suddenly pulling her hands from his and turning
+away, she covered her face and burst into uncontrollable sobbing. He,
+confounded and frightened, followed her and tried to soothe her.
+
+"Never mind, Philly, never mind! if you don't want to tell me--"
+
+"I do want to tell you. I will tell you! You will despise me. But I
+will tell you. I DID A WICKED DEED. It was this very plant-here,
+where we stand, monk's-hood! It was poison. I didn't know--oh, I
+didn't know. The book said monk's-hood--it was a mistake. But I did a
+wicked deed. I tried to kill you--"
+
+She swayed as she spoke, and then seemed to sink down and down, until
+she lay, a forlorn little heap, at his feet. For one dreadful moment
+he thought she had lost her senses. He tried to lift her, saying, with
+agitation:
+
+"Philly! We will not speak of it--"
+
+"I murdered you," she whispered. "I put the charm into your tea, to
+make you... love me. You didn't die. But it was murder. I meant--I
+meant no harm--"
+
+He understood. He lifted her up and held her in his arms. Up on the
+porch William King saw that the two heads were close together!
+
+"Why!" the young man said. "Why--but Philly! You loved me!"
+
+"What difference does that make?" she said, heavily.
+
+"It makes much difference to me," he answered; he put his hand on her
+soft hair and tried to press her head down again on his shoulder. But
+she drew away.
+
+"No; no."
+
+"But--" he began. She interrupted him.
+
+"Listen," she said; and then, sometimes in a whisper, sometimes
+breaking into a sob, she told him the story of that November night. He
+could hardly hear it through.
+
+"Love, you loved me! You will marry me."
+
+"No; I am a wicked girl--a--a--an immodest girl--"
+
+"My beloved, you meant no wrong--" He paused, seeing that she was not
+listening.
+
+Her father and the doctor were coming down the garden path; William
+King, beaming with satisfaction at the proximity of those two heads,
+had summoned Henry Roberts to "come along and give 'em your blessing!"
+
+But as he reached them, standing now apart, the doctor's smile
+faded--evidently something had happened. John Fenn, tense with
+distress, called to him with frowning command: "Doctor! Tell her, for
+heaven's sake, tell her that it was nothing--that charm! Tell her she
+did no wrong."
+
+"No one can do that," Henry Roberts said; "it was a sin."
+
+"Now, look here--" Dr. King began.
+
+"It was a sin to try to move by foolish arts the will of God."
+
+Philippa turned to the young man, standing quivering beside her. "You
+see?" she said.
+
+"No! No, I don't see--or if I do, never mind."
+
+Just for a moment her face cleared. (Yes, truly, he was not thinking of
+her soul now!) But the gleam faded. "Oh, father, I am a great
+sinner," she whispered.
+
+"No, you're not!" William King said.
+
+"Yes, my Philippa, you are," Henry Roberts agreed, solemnly.
+
+The lover made a despairing gesture: "Doctor King! tell her 'no!' 'no!'"
+
+"Yes," her father went on, "it was a sin. Therefore, Philippa, SIN NO
+MORE. Did you pray that this young man's love might be given to you?"
+
+Philippa said, in a whisper, "Yes."
+
+"And it was given to you?"
+
+"Yes."
+
+"Philippa, was it the foolish weed that moved him to love?" She was
+silent. "My child, my Philly, it was your Saviour who moved the heart
+of this youth, because you asked Him. Will you do such despite to your
+Lord as to reject the gift he has given in answer to your prayer?"
+Philippa, with parted lips, was listening intently: "The gift He had
+given!"
+
+Dr. King dared not speak. John Fenn looked at him, and then at
+Philippa, and trembled. Except for the sound of a bird stirring in its
+nest overhead in the branches, a sunny stillness brooded over the
+garden. Then, suddenly, the stillness was shattered by a strange
+sound--a loud, cadenced chant, full of rhythmical repetitions. The
+three who heard it thrilled from head to foot; Henry Roberts did not
+seem to hear it: it came from his own lips.
+
+"Oh, Philippa! Oh, Philippa! I do require--I do require that you accept
+your Saviour's gift. Add not sin to sin. Oh, add not sin to sin by
+making prayer of no avail! Behold, He has set before thee an open
+door. Oh, let no man shut it. Oh, let no man shut it...."
+
+The last word fell into a low, wailing note. No one spoke. The bird
+rustled in the leaves above them; a butterfly wavered slowly down to
+settle on a purple flag in the sunshine. Philly's eyes filled with
+blessed tears. She stretched out her arms to her father and smiled.
+But it was John Fenn who caught those slender, trembling arms against
+his breast; and, looking over at the old man, he said, softly, "THE
+VOICE OF GOD."
+
+... "and I," said William King, telling the story that night to Dr.
+Lavendar--"I just wanted to say 'the voice of COMMON SENSE!'"
+
+"My dear William," said the old man, gently, "the most beautiful thing
+in the world is the knowledge that comes to you, when you get to be as
+old as I am, that they are the same thing."
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Voice, by Margaret Deland
+
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