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If you + don't derive profits, no royalty is due. Royalties are + payable to "Project Gutenberg Association / Illinois + Benedictine College" within the 60 days following each + date you prepare (or were legally required to prepare) + your annual (or equivalent periodic) tax return. + +WHAT IF YOU *WANT* TO SEND MONEY EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO? +The Project gratefully accepts contributions in money, time, +scanning machines, OCR software, public domain etexts, royalty +free copyright licenses, and every other sort of contribution +you can think of. Money should be paid to "Project Gutenberg +Association / Illinois Benedictine College". + +This "Small Print!" by Charles B. Kramer, Attorney +Internet (72600.2026@compuserve.com); TEL: (212-254-5093) +*END*THE SMALL PRINT! FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.04.29.93*END* + + + + + + + +DEAR ENEMY + + + + + + STONE GATE, WORCESTER, + + MASSACHUSETTS, + + December 27. +Dear Judy: + +Your letter is here. I have read it twice, and with amazement. +Do I understand that Jervis has given you, for a Christmas +present, the making over of the John Grier Home into a model +institution, and that you have chosen me to disburse the money? +Me--I, Sallie McBride, the head of an orphan asylum! My poor +people, have you lost your senses, or have you become addicted to +the use of opium, and is this the raving of two fevered +imaginations? I am exactly as well fitted to take care of one +hundred children as to become the curator of a zoo. + +And you offer as bait an interesting Scotch doctor? My dear +Judy,--likewise my dear Jervis,--I see through you! I know +exactly the kind of family conference that has been held about +the Pendleton fireside. + +"Isn't it a pity that Sallie hasn't amounted to more since +she left college? She ought to be doing something useful instead +of frittering her time away in the petty social life of +Worcester. Also [Jervis speaks] she is getting interested in +that confounded young Hallock, too good-looking and fascinating +and erratic; I never did like politicians. We must deflect her +mind with some uplifting and absorbing occupation until the +danger is past. Ha! I have it! We will put her in charge of +the John Grier Home." Oh, I can hear him as clearly as if I were +there! On the occasion of my last visit in your delectable +household Jervis and I had a very solemn conversation in regard +to (1) marriage, (2) the low ideals of politicians, (3) the +frivolous, useless lives that society women lead. + +Please tell your moral husband that I took his words deeply +to heart, and that ever since my return to Worcester I have been +spending one afternoon a week reading poetry with the inmates of +the Female Inebriate Asylum. My life is not so purposeless as it +appears. + +Also let me assure you that the politician is not dangerously +imminent; and that, anyway, he is a very desirable politician, +even though his views on tariff and single tax and trade-unionism +do not exactly coincide with Jervis's. + +Your desire to dedicate my life to the public good is very +sweet, but you should look at it from the asylum's point of view. + +Have you no pity for those poor defenseless little orphan +children? + +I have, if you haven't, and I respectfully decline the +position which you offer. + +I shall be charmed, however, to accept your invitation to +visit you in New York, though I must acknowledge that I am not +very excited over the list of gaieties you have planned. + +Please substitute for the New York Orphanage and the +Foundling Hospital a few theaters and operas and a dinner or so. +I have two new evening gowns and a blue and gold coat with a +white fur collar. + +I dash to pack them; so telegraph fast if you don't wish to +see me for myself alone, but only as a successor to Mrs. Lippett. + Yours as ever, + + Entirely frivolous, + + And intending to remain so, + + SALLIE McBRIDE. + + +P.S. Your invitation is especially seasonable. A charming young +politician named Gordon Hallock is to be in New York next week. +I am sure you will like him when you know him better. P.S. 2. +Sallie taking her afternoon walk as Judy would like to see her: + + +I ask you again, have you both gone mad? + + + THE JOHN GRIER HOME, + + February 15. +Dear Judy: + +We arrived in a snowstorm at eleven last night, Singapore and +Jane and I. It does not appear to be customary for +superintendents of orphan asylums to bring with them personal +maids and Chinese chows. The night watchman and housekeeper, who +had waited up to receive me, were thrown into an awful flutter. +They had never seen the like of Sing, and thought that I was +introducing a wolf into the fold. I reassured them as to his +dogginess, and the watchman, after studying his black tongue, +ventured a witticism. He wanted to know if I fed him on +huckleberry pie. + +It was difficult to find accommodations for my family, Poor +Sing was dragged off whimpering to a strange woodshed, and given +a piece of burlap. Jane did not fare much better. There was not +an extra bed in the building, barring a five-foot crib in the +hospital room. She, as you know, approaches six. We tucked her +in, and she spent the night folded up like a jackknife. She has +limped about today, looking like a decrepit letter S, openly +deploring this latest escapade on the part of her flighty +mistress, and longing for the time when we shall come to our +senses, and return to the parental fireside in Worcester. + +I know that she is going to spoil all my chances of being +popular with the rest of the staff. Having her here is the +silliest idea that was ever conceived, but you know my family. I +fought their objections step by step, but they made their last +stand on Jane. If I brought her along to see that I ate +nourishing food and didn't stay up all night, I might come-- +temporarily; but if I refused to bring her--oh, dear me, I am +not sure that I was ever again to cross the threshold of Stone +Gate! So here we are, and neither of us very welcome, I am +afraid. + +I woke by a gong at six this morning, and lay for a time +listening to the racket that twenty-five little girls made in the +lavatory over my head. It appears that they do not get baths,-- +just face-washes,--but they make as much splashing as twenty-five +puppies in a pool. I rose and dressed and explored a bit. You +were wise in not having me come to look the place over before I +engaged. + +While my little charges were at breakfast, it seemed a happy +time to introduce myself; so I sought the dining room. Horror +piled on horror--those bare drab walls and oil-cloth-covered +tables with tin cups and plates and wooden benches, and, by way +of decoration, that one illuminated text, "The Lord Will +Provide"! The trustee who added that last touch must possess a +grim sense of humor. + +Really, Judy, I never knew there was any spot in the world so +entirely ugly; and when I saw those rows and rows of pale, +listless, blue-uniformed children, the whole dismal business +suddenly struck me with such a shock that I almost collapsed. It +seemed like an unachievable goal for one person to bring sunshine +to one hundred little faces when what they need is a mother +apiece. + +I plunged into this thing lightly enough, partly because you +were too persuasive, and mostly, I honestly think, because that +scurrilous Gordon Hallock laughed so uproariously at the idea of +my being able to manage an asylum. Between you all you +hypnotized me. And then of course, after I began reading up on +the subject and visiting all those seventeen institutions, I got +excited over orphans, and wanted to put my own ideas into +practice. But now I'm aghast at finding myself here; it's such a +stupendous undertaking. The future health and happiness of a +hundred human beings lie in my hands, to say nothing of their +three or four hundred children and thousand grandchildren. The +thing's geometrically progressive. It's awful. Who am I to +undertake this job? Look, oh, look for another superintendent! + +Jane says dinner's ready. Having eaten two of your +institution meals, the thought of another doesn't excite me. + +LATER. + + +The staff had mutton hash and spinach, with tapioca pudding +for dessert. What the children had I hate to consider. + +I started to tell you about my first official speech at +breakfast this morning. It dealt with all the wonderful new +changes that are to come to the John Grier Home through the +generosity of Mr. Jervis Pendleton, the president of our board of +trustees, and of Mrs. Pendleton, the dear "Aunt Judy" of every +little boy and girl here. + +Please don't object to my featuring the Pendleton family so +prominently. I did it for political reasons. As the entire +working staff of the institution was present, I thought it a good +opportunity to emphasize the fact that all of these upsetting, +innovations come straight from headquarters, and not out of my +excitable brain. + +The children stopped eating and stared. The conspicuous +color of my hair and the frivolous tilt of my nose are evidently +new attributes in a superintendent. My colleagues also showed +plainly that they consider me too young and too inexperienced to +be set in authority. I haven't seen Jervis's wonderful Scotch +doctor yet, but I assure you that he will have to be VERY +wonderful to make up for the rest of these people, especially the +kindergarten teacher. Miss Snaith and I clashed early on the +subject of fresh air; but I intend to get rid of this dreadful +institution smell, if I freeze every child into a little ice +statue. + +This being a sunny, sparkling, snowy afternoon, I ordered +that dungeon of a playroom closed and the children out of doors. + +"She's chasin' us out," I heard one small urchin grumbling as +he struggled into a two-years-too-small overcoat. + +They simply stood about the yard, all humped in their +clothes, waiting patiently to be allowed to come back in. No +running or shouting or coasting or snowballs. Think of it! +These children don't know how to play. + +STILL LATER. + + +I have already begun the congenial task of spending your +money. I bought eleven hot-water bottles this afternoon (every +one that the village drug store contained) likewise some woolen +blankets and padded quilts. And the windows are wide open in the +babies' dormitory. Those poor little tots are going to enjoy the +perfectly new sensation of being able to breathe at night. + +There are a million things I want to grumble about, but it's +half-past ten, and Jane says I MUST go to bed. + + Yours in command, + + SALLIE McBRIDE. + +P.S. Before turning in, I tiptoed through the corridor to make +sure that all was right, and what do you think I found? Miss +Snaith softly closing the windows in the babies' dormitory! Just +as soon as I can find a suitable position for her in an old +ladies' home, I am going to discharge that woman. + +Jane takes the pen from my hand. + + Good night. + + + THE JOHN GRIER HOME, + + February 20. +Dear Judy: + +Dr. Robin MacRae called this afternoon to make the acquaintance +of the new superintendent. Please invite him to dinner upon the +occasion of his next visit to New York, and see for yourself what +your husband has done. Jervis grossly misrepresented the facts +when he led me to believe that one of the chief advantages of my +position would be the daily intercourse with a man of Dr. +MacRae's polish and brilliancy and scholarliness and charm. + +He is tall and thinnish, with sandy hair and cold gray eyes. +During the hour he spent in my society (and I was very sprightly) +no shadow of a smile so much as lightened the straight line of +his mouth. Can a shadow lighten? Maybe not; but, anyway, what +IS the matter with the man? Has he committed some remorseful +crime, or is his taciturnity due merely to his natural +Scotchness? He's as companionable as a granite tombstone! + +Incidentally, our doctor didn't like me any more than I liked +him. He thinks I'm frivolous and inconsequential, and totally +unfitted for this position of trust. I dare say Jervis has had a +letter from him by now asking to have me removed. + +In the matter of conversation we didn't hit it off in the +least. He discussed broadly and philosophically the evils of +institutional care for dependent children, while I lightly +deplored the unbecoming coiffure that prevails among our girls. + +To prove my point, I had in Sadie Kate, my special errand +orphan. Her hair is strained back as tightly as though it had +been done with a monkey wrench, and is braided behind into two +wiry little pigtails. Decidedly, orphans' ears need to be +softened. But Dr. Robin MacRae doesn't give a hang whether their +ears are becoming or not; what he cares about is their stomachs. +We also split upon the subject of red petticoats. I don't see +how any little girl can preserve any self-respect when dressed in +a red flannel petticoat an irregular inch longer than her blue +checked gingham dress; but he thinks that red petticoats are +cheerful and warm and hygienic. I foresee a warlike reign for +the new superintendent. + +In regard to the doctor, there is just one detail to be +thankful for: he is almost as new as I am, and he cannot instruct +me in the traditions of the asylum. I don't believe I COULD have +worked with the old doctor, who, judging from the specimens of +his art that he left behind, knew as much about babies as a +veterinary surgeon. + +In the matter of asylum etiquette, the entire staff has +undertaken my education. Even the cook this morning told me +firmly that the John Grier Home has corn meal mush on Wednesday +nights. + +Are you searching hard for another superintendent? I'll stay +until she comes, but please find her fast. + + Yours, + + With my mind made up, + + SALLIE McBRIDE. + + + + SUP'T'S OFFICE, + + JOHN GRIER HOME, + + February 27. +Dear Gordon: + +Are you still insulted because I wouldn't take your advice? +Don't you know that a reddish-haired person of Irish forebears, +with a dash of Scotch, can't be driven, but must be gently led? +Had you been less obnoxiously insistent, I should have listened +sweetly, and been saved. As it is, I frankly confess that I have +spent the last five days in repenting our quarrel. You were +right, and I was wrong, and, as you see, I handsomely acknowledge +it. If I ever emerge from this present predicament, I shall in +the future be guided (almost always) by your judgment. Could any +woman make a more sweeping retraction than that? + +The romantic glamour which Judy cast over this orphan asylum +exists only in her poetic imagination. The place is AWFUL. +Words can't tell you how dreary and dismal and smelly it is: long +corridors, bare walls; blue-uniformed, dough-faced little inmates +that haven't the slightest resemblance to human children. And +oh, the dreadful institution smell! A mingling of wet scrubbed +floors, unaired rooms, and food for a hundred people always +steaming on the stove. + +The asylum not only has to be made over, but every child as +well, and it's too herculean a task for such a selfish, +luxurious, and lazy person as Sallie McBride ever to have +undertaken. I'm resigning the very first moment that Judy can +find a suitable successor, but that, I fear, will not be +immediately. She has gone off South, leaving me stranded, and of +course, after having promised, I can't simply abandon her +asylum. But in the meantime I assure you that I'm homesick. + +Write me a cheering letter, and send a flower to brighten my +private drawing room. I inherited it, furnished, from Mrs. +Lippett. The wall is covered with a tapestry paper in brown and +red; the furniture is electric-blue plush, except the center +table, which is gilt. Green predominates in the carpet. If you +presented some pink rosebuds, they would complete the color +scheme. + +I really was obnoxious that last evening, but you are +avenged. + + Remorsefully yours, + + SALLIE McBRIDE. + +P.S. You needn't have been so grumpy about the Scotch doctor. +The man is everything dour that the word "Scotch" implies. I +detest him on sight, and he detests me. Oh, we're going to have +a sweet time working together + + + + THE JOHN GRIER HOME, + + February 22. + +My dear Gordon: + +Your vigorous and expensive message is here. I know that you +have plenty of money, but that is no reason why you should waste +it so frivolously. When you feel so bursting with talk that only +a hundred-word telegram will relieve an explosion, at least turn +it into a night lettergram. My orphans can use the money if you +don't need it. + +Also, my dear sir, please use a trifle of common sense. Of +course I can't chuck the asylum in the casual manner you +suggest. It wouldn't be fair to Judy and Jervis. If you +will pardon the statement, they have been my friends for many +more years than you, and I have no intention of letting them go +hang. I came up here in a spirit of--well, say adventure, and I +must see the venture through. You wouldn't like me if I were a +short sport. This doesn't mean, however, that I am sentencing +myself for life; I am in tending to resign just as soon as the +opportunity comes. But really I ought to feel somewhat gratified +that the Pendletons were willing to trust me with such a +responsible post. Though you, my dear sir, do not suspect it, I +possess considerable executive ability, and more common sense +than is visible on the surface. If I chose to put my whole soul +into this enterprise, I could make the rippingest superintendent +that any 111 orphans ever had. + +I suppose you think that's funny? It's true. Judy and +Jervis know it, and that's why they asked me to come. So you +see, when they have shown so much confidence in me, I can't throw +them over in quite the unceremonious fashion you suggest. So +long as I am here, I am going to accomplish just as much as it is +given one person to accomplish every twenty-four hours. I am +going to turn the place over to my successor with things moving +fast in the right direction. + +But in the meantime please don't wash your hands of me under +the belief that I'm too busy to be homesick; for I'm not. I wake +up every morning and stare at Mrs. Lippett's wallpaper in a sort +of daze, feeling as though it's some bad dream, and I'm not +really here. What on earth was I thinking of to turn my back +upon my nice cheerful own home and the good times that by rights +are mine? I frequently agree with your opinion of my sanity. + +But why, may I ask, should you be making such a fuss? You +wouldn't be seeing me in any case. Worcester is quite as far +from Washington as the John Grier Home. And I will add, for your +further comfort, that whereas there is no man in the +neighborhood of this asylum who admires red hair, in Worcester +there are several. Therefore, most difficult of men, please be +appeased. I didn't come entirely to spite you. I wanted an +adventure in life, and, oh dear! oh dear! I'm having it! +PLEASE write soon, and cheer me up. + Yours in sackcloth, + + SALLIE. + + + THE JOHN GRIER HOME, + + February 24. +Dear Judy: + +You tell Jervis that I am not hasty at forming judgments. I have +a sweet, sunny, unsuspicious nature, and I like everybody, +almost. But no one could like that Scotch doctor. He NEVER +smiles. + +He paid me another visit this afternoon. I invited him to +accommodate himself in one of Mrs. Lippett's electric-blue +chairs, and then sat down opposite to enjoy the harmony. He was +dressed in a mustard-colored homespun, with a dash of green and a +glint of yellow in the weave, a "heather mixture" calculated to +add life to a dull Scotch moor. Purple socks and a red tie, with +an amethyst pin, completed the picture. Clearly, your paragon of +a doctor is not going to be of much assistance in pulling up the +esthetic tone of this establishment. + +During the fifteen minutes of his call he succinctly outlined +all the changes he wishes to see accomplished in this +institution. HE forsooth! And what, may I ask, are the duties +of a superintendent? Is she merely a figurehead to take +orders from the visiting physician? + +It's up wi' the bonnets o' McBride and MacRae! + + I am, + + Indignantly yours, + SALLIE. + + + THE JOHN GRIER HOME, + + Monday. +Dear Dr. MacRae: + +I am sending this note by Sadie Kate, as it seems impossible to +reach you by telephone. Is the person who calls herself Mrs. +McGur-rk and hangs up in the middle of a sentence your +housekeeper? If she answers the telephone often, I don't see how +your patients have any patience left. + +As you did not come this morning, per agreement, and the +painters did come, I was fain to choose a cheerful corn color to +be placed upon the walls of your new laboratory room. I trust +there is nothing unhygienic about corn color. + +Also, if you can spare a moment this afternoon, kindly motor +yourself to Dr. Brice's on Water Street and look at the dentist's +chair and appurtenances which are to be had at half-price. If +all of the pleasant paraphernalia of his profession were here,-- +in a corner of your laboratory,--Dr. Brice could finish his 111 +new patients with much more despatch than if we had to transport +them separately to Water Street. Don't you think that's a useful +idea? It came to me in the middle of the night, but as I never +happened to buy a dentist's chair before, I'd appreciate some +professional advice. + Yours truly, + + S. McBRIDE. + + + THE JOHN GRIER HOME, + + March 1. +Dear Judy: +Do stop sending me telegrams! + +Of course I know that you want to know everything that is +happening, and I would send a daily bulletin, but I truly don't +find a minute. I am so tired when night comes that if it weren't +for Jane's strict discipline, I should go to bed with my clothes +on. + +Later, when we slip a little more into routine, and I can be +sure that my assistants are all running off their respective +jobs, I shall be the regularest correspondent you ever had. + +It was five days ago, wasn't it, that I wrote? Things have +been happening in those five days. The MacRae and I have mapped +out a plan of campaign, and are stirring up this place to its +sluggish depths. I like him less and less, but we have declared +a sort of working truce. And the man IS a worker. I always +thought I had sufficient energy myself, but when an improvement +is to be introduced, I toil along panting in his wake. He is as +stubborn and tenacious and bull-doggish as a Scotchman can be, +but he does understand babies; that is, he understands their +physiological aspects. He hasn't any more feeling for them +personally than for so many frogs that he might happen to be +dissecting. + +Do you remember Jervis's holding forth one evening for an +hour or so about our doctor's beautiful humanitarian ideals? +C'EST A RIRE! The man merely regards the J. G. H. as his own +private laboratory, where he can try out scientific experiments +with no loving parents to object. I shouldn't be surprised +anyday to find him introducing scarlet fever cultures into +the babies' porridge in order to test a newly invented serum. + +Of the house staff, the only two who strike me as really +efficient are the primary teacher and the furnace-man. You +should see how the children run to meet Miss Matthews and beg for +caresses, and how painstakingly polite they are to the other +teachers. Children are quick to size up character. I shall be +very embarrassed if they are too polite to me. + +Just as soon as I get my bearings a little, and know exactly +what we need, I am going to accomplish some widespread +discharging. I should like to begin with Miss Snaith; but I +discover that she is the niece of one of our most generous +trustees, and isn't exactly dischargeable. She's a vague, +chinless, pale-eyed creature, who talks through her nose and +breathes through her mouth. She can't say anything decisively +and then stop; her sentences all trail off into incoherent +murmurings. Every time I see the woman I feel an almost +uncontrollable desire to take her by the shoulders and shake some +decision into her. And Miss Snaith is the one who has had entire +supervision of the seventeen little tots aged from two to five! +But, anyway, even if I can't discharge her, I have reduced her to +a subordinate position without her being aware of the fact. + +The doctor has found for me a charming girl who lives a few +miles from here and comes in every day to manage the +kindergarten. She has big, gentle, brown eyes, like a cow's, and +motherly manners (she is just nineteen), and the babies love her. + +At the head of the nursery I have placed a jolly, comfortable +middle-aged woman who has reared five of her own and has a hand +with bairns. Our doctor also found her. You see, he is useful. +She is technically under Miss Snaith, but is usurping +dictatorship in a satisfactory fashion. I can now sleep at night +without being afraid that my babies are being inefficiently +murdered. + +You see, our reforms are getting started; and while I +acquiesce with all the intelligence at my command to our +doctor's basic scientific upheavals, still, they sometimes leave +me cold. The problem that keeps churning and churning in my mind +is: How can I ever instil enough love and warmth and sunshine +into those bleak little lives? And I am not sure that the +doctor's science will accomplish that. + +One of our most pressing INTELLIGENT needs just now is to get +our records into coherent form. The books have been most +outrageously unkept. Mrs. Lippett had a big black account book +into which she jumbled any facts that happened to drift her way +as to the children's family, their conduct, and their health. +But for weeks at a time she didn't trouble to make an entry. If +any adopting family wants to know a child's parentage, half the +time we can't even tell where we got the child! + + "Where did you come from, baby dear?" + "The blue sky opened, and I am here," + +is an exact description of their arrival. + +We need a field worker to travel about the country and pick +up all the hereditary statistics she can about our chicks. It +will be an easy matter, as most of them have relatives. What do +you think of Janet Ware for the job? You remember what a shark +she was in economics; she simply battened on tables and charts +and surveys. + +I have also to inform you that the John Grier Home is +undergoing a very searching physical examination, and it is the +shocking truth that out of the twenty-eight poor little rats so +far examined only five are up to specification. And the five +have not been here long. + +Do you remember the ugly green reception room on the first +floor? I have removed as much of its greenness as possible, and +fitted it up as the doctor's laboratory. It contains scales and +drugs and, most professional touch of all, a dentist's chair and +one of those sweet grinding machines. (Bought them second- +hand from Doctor Brice in the village, who is putting in, for the +gratification of his own patients, white enamel and nickel- +plate.) That drilling machine is looked upon as an infernal +engine, and I as an infernal monster for instituting it. But +every little victim who is discharged FILLED may come to my room +every day for a week and receive two pieces of chocolate. Though +our children are not conspicuously brave, they are, we discover, +fighters. Young Thomas Kehoe nearly bit the doctor's thumb in +two after kicking over a tableful of instruments. It requires +physical strength as well as skill to be dental adviser to the J. +G. H. + . . . . . . . . . . + +Interrupted here to show a benevolent lady over the +institution. She asked fifty irrelevant questions, took up an +hour of my time, then finally wiped away a tear and left a dollar +for my "poor little charges." + +So far, my poor little charges are not enthusiastic about +these new reforms. They don't care much for the sudden draft of +fresh air that has blown in upon them, or the deluge of water. I +am shoving in two baths a week, and as soon as we collect tubs +enough and a few extra faucets, they are going to get SEVEN. + +But at least I have started one most popular reform. Our +daily bill of fare has been increased, a change deplored by the +cook as causing trouble, and deplored by the rest of the staff as +causing an immoral increase in expense. ECONOMY spelt in +capitals has been the guiding principle of this institution for +so many years that it has become a religion. I assure my timid +co-workers twenty times a day that, owing to the generosity of +our president, the endowment has been exactly doubled, and that I +have vast sums besides from Mrs. Pendleton for necessary purposes +like ice cream. But they simply CAN'T get over the feeling that +it is a wicked extravagance to feed these children. + +The doctor and I have been studying with care the menus of +the past, and we are filled with amazement at the mind that could +have devised them. Here is one of her frequently recurring +dinners: + + BOILED POTATOES + BOILED RICE + BLANC MANGE + + +It's a wonder to me that the children are anything more than +one hundred and eleven little lumps of starch. + +Looking about this institution, one is moved to misquote +Robert Browning. + + "There may be heaven; there must be hell; + Meantime, there is the John Grier--well!" + S. McB. + + + + THE JOHN GRIER HOME, + + Saturday. +Dear Judy: + +Dr. Robin MacRae and I fought another battle yesterday over a +very trivial matter (in which I was right), and since then I have +adopted for our doctor a special pet name. "Good morning, +Enemy!" was my greeting today, at which he was quite solemnly +annoyed. He says he does not wish to be regarded as an enemy. +He is not in the least antagonistic--so long as I mold my policy +upon his wishes! + +We have two new children, Isador Gutschneider and Max Yog, +given to us by the Baptist Ladies' Aid Society. Where on earth +do you suppose those children picked up such a religion? I +didn't want to take them, but the poor ladies were very +persuasive, and they pay the princely sum of four dollars and +fifty cents per week per child. This makes 113, which makes us +verycrowded. I have half a dozen babies to give away. Find +me some kind families who want to adopt. + +You know it's very embarrassing not to be able to remember +offhand how large your family is, but mine seems to vary from day +to day, like the stock market. I should like to keep it at about +par. When a woman has more than a hundred children, she can't +give them the individual attention they ought to have. + + + Monday. + + +This letter has been lying two days on my desk, and I haven't +found the time to stick on a stamp. But now I seem to have a +free evening ahead, so I will add a page or two more before +starting it on a pleasant journey to Florida. + +I am just beginning to pick out individual faces among the +children. It seemed at first as though I could never learn them, +they looked so hopelessly cut out of one pattern, with those +unspeakably ugly uniforms. Now please don't write back that you +want the children put into new clothes immediately. I know you +do; you've already told me five times. In about a month I shall +be ready to consider the question, but just now their insides are +more important than their outsides. + +There is no doubt about it--orphans in the mass do not appeal +to me. I am beginning to be afraid that this famous mother +instinct which we hear so much about was left out of my +character. Children as children are dirty, spitty little things, +and their noses all need wiping. Here and there I pick out a +naughty, mischievous little one that awakens a flicker of +interest; but for the most part they are just a composite blur of +white face and blue check. + +With one exception, though. Sadie Kate Kilcoyne emerged from +the mass the first day, and bids fair to stay out for all time. +She is my special little errand girl, and she furnishes me +with all my daily amusement. No piece of mischief has been +launched in this institution for the last eight years that did +not originate in her abnormal brain. This young person has, to +me, a most unusual history, though I understand it's common +enough in foundling circles. She was discovered eleven years ago +on the bottom step of a Thirty-ninth Street house, asleep in a +pasteboard box labeled, "Altman & Co." + +"Sadie Kate Kilcoyne, aged five weeks. Be kind to her," was +neatly printed on the cover. + +The policeman who picked her up took her to Bellevue where +the foundlings are pronounced, in the order of their arrival, +"Catholic, Protestant, Catholic, Protestant," with perfect +impartiality. Our Sadie Kate, despite her name and blue Irish +eyes, was made a Protestant. And here she is growing Irisher and +Irisher every day, but, true to her christening, protesting +loudly against every detail of life. + +Her two little black braids point in opposite directions; her +little monkey face is all screwed up with mischief; she is as +active as a terrier, and you have to keep her busy every moment. +Her record of badnesses occupies pages in the Doomsday Book. The +last item reads: + +"For stumping Maggie Geer to get a doorknob into her mouth-- +punishment, the afternoon spent in bed, and crackers for supper." + +It seems that Maggie Geer, fitted with a mouth of unusual +stretching capacity, got the doorknob in, but couldn't get it +out. The doctor was called, and cannily solved the problem with +a buttered shoe-horn. "Muckle-mouthed Meg," he has dubbed the +patient ever since. + +You can understand that my thoughts are anxiously occupied in +filling every crevice of Sadie Kate's existence. + +There are a million subjects that I ought to consult with the +president about. I think it was very unkind of you and him to +saddle me with your orphan asylum and run off South to play. +It would serve you right if I did everything wrong. While you +are traveling about in private cars, and strolling in the +moonlight on palm beaches, please think of me in the drizzle of a +New York March, taking care of 113 babies that by rights are +yours--and be grateful. + + I remain (for a limited time), + + S. McBRIDE. + + + SUP'T JOHN GRIER HOME. +Dear Enemy: + +I am sending herewith (under separate cover) Sammy Speir, who got +mislaid when you paid your morning visit. Miss Snaith brought +him to light after you had gone. Please scrutinize his thumb. I +never saw a felon, but I have diagnosed it as such. + Yours truly, + S. McBRIDE. + + + SUP'T JOHN GRIER HOME, + + March 6. +Dear Judy: + +I don't know yet whether the children are going to love me or +not, but they DO love my dog. No creature so popular as +Singapore ever entered these gates. Every afternoon three boys +who have been perfect in deportment are allowed to brush and comb +him, while three other good boys may serve him with food and +drink. But every Saturday morning the climax of the week is +reached, when three superlatively good boys give him a nice +lathery bath with hot water and flea soap. The privilege of +serving as Singapore's valet is going to be the only incentive I +shall need for maintaining discipline. + +But isn't it pathetically unnatural for these youngsters to +be living in the country and never owning a pet? Especially when +they, of all children, do so need something to love. I am going +to manage pets for them somehow, if I have to spend our new +endowment for a menagerie. Couldn't you bring back some baby +alligators and a pelican? Anything alive will be gratefully +received. + +This should by rights be my first "Trustees' Day." I am +deeply grateful to Jervis for arranging a simple business meeting +in New York, as we are not yet on dress parade up here; but we +are hoping by the first Wednesday in April to have something +visible to show. If all of the doctor's ideas, and a few of my +own, get themselves materialized, our trustees will open their +eyes a bit when we show them about. + +I have just made out a chart for next week's meals, and +posted it in the kitchen in the sight of an aggrieved cook. +Variety is a word hitherto not found in the lexicon of the +J.G.H. You would never dream all of the delightful surprises we +are going to have: brown bread, corn pone, graham muffins, samp, +rice pudding with LOTS of raisins, thick vegetable soup, macaroni +Italian fashion, polenta cakes with molasses, apple dumplings, +gingerbread--oh, an endless list! After our biggest girls have +assisted in the manufacture of such appetizing dainties, they +will almost be capable of keeping future husbands in love with +them. + +Oh, dear me! Here I am babbling these silly nothings when I +have some real news up my sleeve. We have a new worker, a gem of +a worker. + +Do you remember Betsy Kindred, 1910? She led the glee club +and was president of dramatics. I remember her perfectly; she +always had lovely clothes. Well, if you please, she lives only +twelve miles from here. I ran across her by chance yesterday +morning as she was motoring through the village; or, rather, she +just escaped running across me. + +I never spoke to her in my life, but we greeted each other +like the oldest friends. It pays to have conspicuous hair; she +recognized me instantly. I hopped upon the running board of her +car and said: + +"Betsy Kindred, 1910, you've got to come back to my orphan +asylum and help me catalogue my orphans." + +And it astonished her so that she came. She's to be here +four or five days a week as temporary secretary, and somehow I +must manage to keep her permanently. She's the most useful +person I ever saw. I am hoping that orphans will become such a +habit with her that she won't be able to give them up. I think +she might stay if we pay her a big enough salary. She likes to +be independent of her family, as do all of us in these degenerate +times. + +In my growing zeal for cataloguing people, I should like to +get our doctor tabulated. If Jervis knows any gossip about him, +write it to me, please; the worse, the better. He called +yesterday to lance a felon on Sammy Speir's thumb, then +ascended to my electric-blue parlor to give instructions as +to the dressing of thumbs. The duties of a superintendent are +manifold. + +It was just teatime, so I casually asked him to stay, and he +did! Not for the pleasure of my society,--no, indeed,--but +because Jane appeared at the moment with a plate of toasted +muffins. He hadn't had any luncheon, it seems, and dinner was a +long way ahead. Between muffins (he ate the whole plateful) he +saw fit to interrogate me as to my preparedness for this +position. Had I studied biology in college? How far had I gone +in chemistry? What did I know of sociology? Had I visited that +model institution at Hastings? + +To all of which I responded affably and openly. Then I +permitted myself a question or two: just what sort of youthful +training had been required to produce such a model of logic, +accuracy, dignity, and common sense as I saw sitting before me? +Through persistent prodding I elicited a few forlorn facts, but +all quite respectable. You'd think, from his reticence, there'd +been a hanging in the family. The MacRae PERE was born in +Scotland, and came to the States to occupy a chair at Johns +Hopkins; son Robin was shipped back to Auld Reekie for his +education. His grandmother was a M'Lachlan of Strathlachan (I am +sure she sounds respectable), and his vacations were spent in the +Hielands a-chasing the deer. + +So much could I gather; so much, and no more. Tell me, I +beg, some gossip about my enemy--something scandalous by +preference. + +Why, if he is such an awfully efficient person does he bury +himself in this remote locality? You would think an up-and- +coming scientific man would want a hospital at one elbow and a +morgue at the other. Are you sure that he didn't commit a crime +and isn't hiding from the law? + +I seem to have covered a lot of paper without telling you +much. VIVE LA BAGATELLE! + Yours as usual, + + SALLIE. + +P.S. I am relieved on one point. Dr. MacRae does not pick out +his own clothes. He leaves all such unessential trifles to his +housekeeper, Mrs. Maggie McGurk. + +Again, and irrevocably, good-by! + + + + THE JOHN GRIER HOME, + + Wednesday. +Dear Gordon: + +Your roses and your letter cheered me for an entire morning, and +it's the first time I've approached cheerfulness since the +fourteenth of February, when I waved good-by to Worcester. + +Words can't tell you how monotonously oppressive the daily +round of institution life gets to be. The only glimmer in the +whole dull affair is the fact that Betsy Kindred spends four days +a week with us. Betsy and I were in college together, and we do +occasionally find something funny to laugh about. + +Yesterday we were having tea in my HIDEOUS parlor when we +suddenly determined to revolt against so much unnecessary +ugliness. We called in six sturdy and destructive orphans, a +step-ladder, and a bucket of hot water, and in two hours had +every vestige of that tapestry paper off those walls. You can't +imagine what fun it is ripping paper off walls. + +Two paperhangers are at work this moment hanging the best +that our village affords, while a German upholsterer is on his +knees measuring my chairs for chintz slip covers that will hide +every inch of their plush upholstery. + +Please don't get nervous. This doesn't mean that I'm +preparing to spend my life in the asylum. It means only that I'm +preparing a cheerful welcome for my successor. I haven't dared +tell Judy how dismal I find it, because I don't want to cloud +Florida; but when she returns to New York she will find my +official resignation waiting to meet her in the front hall. + +I would write you a long letter in grateful payment for seven +pages, but two of my little dears are holding a fight under the +window. I dash to separate them. + + Yours as ever, + + S. McB. + + + THE JOHN GRIER HOME, + + March 8. + +My dear Judy: + +I myself have bestowed a little present upon the John Grier +Home--the refurnishing of the superintendent's private parlor. I +saw the first night here that neither I nor any future occupant +could be happy with Mrs. Lippett's electric plush. You see, I am +planning to make my successor contented and willing to stay. + +Betsy Kindred assisted in the rehabilitation of the Lippett's +chamber of horrors, and between us we have created a symphony in +dull blue and gold. Really and truly, it's one of the loveliest +rooms you've ever seen. The sight of it will be an artistic +education to any orphan. New paper on the wall, new rugs on the +floor (my own prized Persians expressed from Worcester by an +expostulating family). New casement curtains at my three +windows, revealing a wide and charming view, hitherto hidden by +Nottingham lace. A new big table, some lamps and books and a +picture or so, and a real open fire. She had closed the +fireplace because it let in air. + +I never realized what a difference artistic surroundings make +in the peace of one's soul. I sat last night and watched my fire +throw nice highlights on my new old fender, and purred with +contentment. And I assure you it's the first purr that has come +from this cat since she entered the gates of the John Grier Home. + +But the refurnishing of the superintendent's parlor is the +slightest of our needs. The children's private apartments demand +so much basic attention that I can't decide where to begin. That +dark north playroom is a shocking scandal, but no more shocking +than our hideous dining room or our unventilated dormitories or +our tubless lavatories. + +If the institution is very saving, do you think it can ever +afford to burn down this smelly old original building, and put up +instead some nice, ventilated modern cottages? I cannot +contemplate that wonderful institution at Hastings without being +filled with envy. It would be some fun to run an asylum if you +had a plant like that to work with. But, anyway, when you get +back to New York and are ready to consult the architect about +remodeling, please apply to me for suggestions. Among other +little details I want two hundred feet of sleeping porch running +along the outside of our dormitories. + +You see, it's this way: our physical examination reveals the +fact that about half of our children are aenemic--aneamic-- +anaemic (Mercy! what a word!), and a lot of them have tubercular +ancestors, and more have alcoholic. Their first need is oxygen +rather than education. And if the sickly ones need it, why +wouldn't it be good for the well ones? I should like to have +every child, winter and summer, sleeping in the open air; but I +know that if I let fall such a bomb on the board of trustees, the +whole body would explode. + +Speaking of trustees, I have met up with the Hon. Cyrus +Wykoff, and I really believe that I dislike him more than Dr. +Robin MacRae or the kindergarten teacher or the cook. I seem to +have a genius for discovering enemies! + +Mr. Wykoff called on Wednesday last to look over the new +superintendent. + +Having lowered himself into my most comfortable armchair, he +proceeded to spend the day. He asked my father's business, and +whether or not he was well-to-do. I told him that my father +manufactured overalls, and that, even in these hard times, the +demand for overalls was pretty steady. + +He seemed relieved. He approves of the utilitarian aspect of +overalls. He had been afraid that I had come from the family of +a minister or professor or writer, a lot of high thinking and no +common sense. Cyrus believes in common sense. + +And what had been my training for this position? + +That, as you know, is a slightly embarrassing question. But +I produced my college education and a few lectures at the School +of Philanthropy, also a short residence in the college settlement +(I didn't tell him that all I had done there was to paint the +back hall and stairs). Then I submitted some social work among +my father's employees and a few friendly visits to the Home for +Female Inebriates. + +To all of which he grunted. + +I added that I had lately made a study of the care of +dependent children, and casually mentioned my seventeen +institutions. + +He grunted again, and said he didn't take much stock in this +new-fangled scientific charity. + +At this point Jane entered with a box of roses from the +florist's. That blessed Gordon Hallock sends me roses twice a +week to brighten the rigors of institution life. + +Our trustee began an indignant investigation. He wished to +know where I got those flowers, and was visibly relieved when he +learned that I had not spent the institution's money for them. +He next wished to know who Jane might be. I had foreseen that +question and decided to brazen it out. + +"My maid," said I. + +"Your what?" he bellowed, quite red in the face. + +"My maid." + +"What is she doing here?" + +I amiably went into details. "She mends my clothes, blacks +my boots, keeps my bureau drawers in order, washes my hair." + +I really thought the man would choke, so I charitably added +that I paid her wages out of my own private income, and paid five +dollars and fifty cents a week to the institution for her board; +and that, though she was big, she didn't eat much. + +He allowed that I might make use of one of the orphans for +all legitimate service. + +I explained--still polite, but growing bored--that Jane had +been in my service for many years, and was indispensable. + +He finally took himself off, after telling me that he, for +one, had never found any fault with Mrs. Lippett. She was a +common-sense Christian woman, without many fancy ideas, but with +plenty of good solid work in her. He hoped that I would be wise +enough to model my policy upon hers! + +And what, my dear Judy, do you think of that? + +The doctor dropped in a few minutes later, and I repeated +the Hon. Cyrus's conversation in detail. For the first time in +the history of our intercourse the doctor and I agreed. + +"Mrs. Lippett indeed!" he growled. "The blethering auld +gomerel! May the Lord send him mair sense!" + +When our doctor really becomes aroused, he drops into Scotch. +My latest pet name for him (behind his back) is Sandy. + +Sadie Kate is sitting on the floor as I write, untangling +sewing-silks and winding them neatly for Jane, who is becoming +quite attached to the little imp. + +"I am writing to your Aunt Judy," say I to Sadie Kate. "What +message shall I send from you?" + +"I never heard of no Aunt Judy." + +"She is the aunt of every good little girl in this school." + +"Tell her to come and visit me and bring some candy," says +Sadie Kate. + +I say so, too. + + My love to the president, + + SALLIE. + + + + March 13. + +MRS. JUDY ABBOTT PENDLETON, + +Dear Madam: + +Your four letters, two telegrams, and three checks are at hand, +and your instructions shall be obeyed just as quickly as this +overworked superintendent can manage it. + +I delegated the dining room job to Betsy Kindred. One +hundred dollars did I allow her for the rehabilitation of that +dreary apartment. She accepted the trust, picked out five likely +orphans to assist in the mechanical details, and closed the door. + +For three days the children have been eating from the desks in +the schoolroom. I haven't an idea what Betsy is doing; but she +has a lot better taste than I, so there isn't much use in +interfering. + +It is such a heaven-sent relief to be able to leave something +to somebody else, and be sure it will be carried out! With all +due respect to the age and experience of the staff I found here, +they are not very open to new ideas. As the John Grier Home was +planned by its noble founder in 1875, so shall it be run today. + +Incidentally, my dear Judy, your idea of a private dining +room for the superintendent, which I, being a social soul, at +first scorned, has been my salvation. When I am dead tired I +dine alone, but in my live intervals I invite an officer to share +the meal; and in the expansive intimacy of the dinnertable I get +in my most effective strokes. When it becomes desirable to plant +the seeds of fresh air in the soul of Miss Snaith, I invite her +to dinner, and tactfully sandwich in a little oxygen between her +slices of pressed veal. + +Pressed veal is our cook's idea of an acceptable PIECE DE +RESISTANCE for a dinner party. In another month I am going to +face the subject of suitable nourishment for the executive staff. + +Meanwhile there are so many things more important than our own +comfort that we shall have to worry along on veal. + +A terrible bumping has just occurred outside my door. One +little cherub seems to be kicking another little cherub +downstairs. But I write on undisturbed. If I am to spend my +days among orphans, I must cultivate a cheerful detachment. + +Did you get Leonora Fenton's cards? She's marrying a medical +missionary and going to Siam to live! Did you ever hear of +anything so absurd as Leonora presiding over a missionary's +menage? Do you suppose she will entertain the heathen with skirt +dances? + +It isn't any absurder, though, than me in an orphan asylum, +or you as a conservative settled matron, or Marty Keene a social +butterfly in Paris. Do you suppose she goes to embassy balls in +riding clothes, and what on earth does she do about hair? It +couldn't have grown so soon; she must wear a wig. Isn't our +class turning out some hilarious surprises? + +The mail arrives. Excuse me while I read a nice fat letter +from Washington. + + +Not so nice; quite impertinent. Gordon can't get over the +idea that it is a joke, S. McB. in conjunction with one hundred +and thirteen orphans. But he wouldn't think it such a joke if he +could try it for a few days. He says he is going to drop off +here on his next trip North and watch the struggle. How would it +be if I left him in charge while I dashed to New York to +accomplish some shopping? Our sheets are all worn out, and we +haven't more than two hundred and eleven blankets in the house. + +Singapore, sole puppy of my heart and home, sends his +respectful love. + I also, + S. McB. + + + + + THE JOHN GRIER HOME, + + Friday. +My dearest Judy: + +You should see what your hundred dollars and Betsy Kindred did to +that dining room! + +It's a dazzling dream of yellow paint. Being a north room, +she thought to brighten it; and she has. The walls are +kalsomined buff, with a frieze of little molly cottontails +skurrying around the top. All of the woodwork--tables and +benches included--is a cheerful chrome yellow. Instead of +tablecloths, which we can't afford, we have linen runners, with +stenciled rabbits hopping along their length. Also yellow bowls, +filled at present with pussywillows, but looking forward to +dandelions and cowslips and buttercups. And new dishes, my +dear--white, with yellow jonquils (we think), though they may be +roses; there is no botany expert in the house. Most wonderful +touch of all, we have NAPKINS, the first we have seen in our +whole lives. The children thought they were handkerchiefs and +ecstatically wiped their noses. + +To honor the opening of the new room, we had ice-cream and +cake for dessert. It is such a pleasure to see these children +anything but cowed and apathetic, that I am offering prizes for +boisterousness--to every one but Sadie Kate. She drummed on the +table with her knife and fork and sang, "Welcome to dem golden +halls." + +You remember that illuminated text over the dining-room +door--"The Lord Will Provide." We've painted it out, and covered +the spot with rabbits. It's all very well to teach so easy a +belief to normal children, who have a proper family and roof +behind them; but a person whose only refuge in distress will be a +park bench must learn a more militant creed than that. + +"The Lord has given you two hands and a brain and a big world +to use them in. Use them well, and you will be provided for; use +them ill, and you will want," is our motto, and that with +reservations. + +In the sorting process that has been going on I have got rid +of eleven children. That blessed State Charities Aid Association +helped me dispose of three little girls, all placed in very nice +homes, and one to be adopted legally if the family likes her. +And the family will like her; I saw to that. She was the prize +child of the institution, obedient and polite, with curly hair +and affectionate ways, exactly the little girl that every family +needs. When a couple of adopting parents are choosing a +daughter, I stand by with my heart in my mouth, feeling as though +I were assisting in the inscrutable designs of Fate. Such a +little thing turns the balance! The child smiles, and a loving +home is hers for life; she sneezes, and it passes her by forever. + +Three of our biggest boys have gone to work on farms, one of +them out West to a RANCH! Report has it that he is to become a +cowboy and Indian fighter and grizzly-bear hunter, though I +believe in reality he is to engage in the pastoral work of +harvesting wheat. He marched off, a hero of romance, followed by +the wistful eyes of twenty-five adventurous lads, who turned back +with a sigh to the safely monotonous life of the J. G. H. + +Five other children have been sent to their proper +institutions. One of them is deaf, one an epileptic, and the +other three approaching idiocy. None of them ought ever to have +been accepted here. This as an educational institution, and we +can't waste our valuable plant in caring for defectives. + +Orphan asylums have gone out of style. What I am going to +develop is a boarding school for the physical, moral, and mental +growth of children whose parents have not been able to provide +for their care. + +"Orphans" is merely my generic term for the children; a good +many of them are not orphans in the least. They have one +troublesome and tenacious parent left who won't sign a surrender, +so I can't place them out for adoption. But those that are +available would be far better off in loving foster-homes than in +the best institution that I can ever make. So I am fitting them +for adoption as quickly as possible, and searching for the homes. + +You ought to run across a lot of pleasant families in your +travels; can't you bully some of them into adopting children? +Boys by preference. We've got an awful lot of extra boys, and +nobody wants them. Talk about anti-feminism! It's nothing to +the anti-masculinism that exists in the breasts of adopting +parents. I could place out a thousand dimpled little girls with +yellow hair, but a good live boy from nine to thirteen is a drug +on the market. There seems to be a general feeling that they +track in dirt and scratch up mahogany furniture. + +Shouldn't you think that men's clubs might like to adopt +boys, as a sort of mascot? The boy could be boarded in a nice +respectable family, and drawn out by the different members on +Saturday afternoons. They could take him to ball games and +the circus, and then return him when they had had enough, just as +you do with a library book. It would be very valuable training +for the bachelors. People are forever talking about the +desirability of training girls for motherhood. Why not institute +a course of training in fatherhood, and get the best men's clubs +to take it up? Will you please have Jervis agitate the matter at +his various clubs, and I'll have Gordon start the idea in +Washington. They both belong to such a lot of clubs that we +ought to dispose of at least a dozen boys. + + I remain, + + The ever-distracted mother of 113. + + S. McB. + + + THE JOHN GRIER HOME, + + March 18. +Dear Judy: + +I have been having a pleasant respite from the 113 cares of +motherhood. + +Yesterday who should drop down upon our peaceful village but +Mr. Gordon Hallock, on his way back to Washington to resume the +cares of the nation. At least he said it was on his way, but I +notice from the map in the primary room that it was one hundred +miles out of his way. + +And dear, but I was glad to see him! He is the first glimpse +of the outside world I have had since I was incarcerated in this +asylum. And such a lot of entertaining businesses he had to talk +about! He knows the inside of all the outside things you read in +the newspapers; so far as I can make out, he is the social center +about which Washington revolves. I always knew he would get on +in politics, for he has a way with him; there's no doubt about +it. + +You can't imagine how exhilarated and set-up I feel, as +though I'd come into my own again after a period of social +ostracism. I must confess that I get lonely for some one who +talks my kind of nonsensical talk. Betsy trots off home every +week end, and the doctor is conversational enough, but, oh, so +horribly logical! Gordon somehow seems to stand for the life I +belong to,--of country clubs and motors and dancing and sport and +politeness,--a poor, foolish, silly life, if you will, but mine +own. And I have missed it. This serving society business is +theoretically admirable and compelling and interesting, but +deadly stupid in its working details. I am afraid I was never +born to set the crooked straight. + +I tried to show Gordon about and make him take an interest in +the babies, but he wouldn't glance at them. He thinks I came +just to spite him, which, of course, I did. Your siren call +would never have lured me from the path of frivolity had Gordon +not been so unpleasantly hilarious at the idea of my being able +to manage an orphan asylum. I came here to show him that I +could; and now, when I can show him, the beast refuses to look. + +I invited him to dinner, with a warning about the pressed +veal; but he said no, thanks, that I needed a change. So we went +to Brantwood Inn and had broiled lobster. I had positively +forgotten that the creatures were edible. + +This morning at seven o'clock I was wakened by the furious +ringing of the telephone bell. It was Gordon at the station, +about to resume his journey to Washington. He was in quite a +contrite mood about the asylum, and apologized largely for +refusing to look at my children. It was not that he didn't like +orphans, he said; it was just that he didn't like them in +juxtaposition to me. And to prove his good intentions, he would +send them a bag of peanuts. + +I feel as fresh and revivified after my little fling as +though I'd had a real vacation. There's no doubt about it, an +hour or so of exciting talk is more of a tonic to me than a pint +of iron and strychnine pills. + +You owe me two letters, dear Madam. Pay them TOUT DE SUITE, +or I lay down my pen forever. + + Yours, as usual, + + S. McB. + + + Tuesday, 5 P.M. +My dear Enemy: + +I am told that during my absence this afternoon you paid us a +call and dug up a scandal. You claim that the children under +Miss Snaith are not receiving their due in the matter of cod- +liver oil. + +I am sorry if your medicinal orders have not been carried +out, but you must know that it is a difficult matter to introduce +that abominably smelling stuff into the inside of a squirming +child. And poor Miss Snaith is a very much overworked person. +She has ten more children to care for than should rightly fall +into the lot of any single woman, and until we find her another +assistant, she has very little time for the fancy touches you +demand. + +Also, my dear Enemy, she is very susceptible to abuse. When +you feel in a fighting mood, I wish you would expend your +belligerence upon me. I don't mind it; quite the contrary. But +that poor lady has retired to her room in a state of hysterics, +leaving nine babies to be tucked into bed by whomever it may +concern. + +If you have any powders that would be settling to her nerves, +please send them back by Sadie Kate. + + Yours truly, + + S. McBRIDE. + + + Wednesday Morning. +Dear Dr. MacRae: + +I am not taking an unintelligent stand in the least; I am simply +asking that you come to me with all complaints, and not stir up +my staff in any such volcanic fashion as that of yesterday. + +I endeavor to carry out all of your orders--of a medical +nature--with scrupulous care. In the present case there seems to +have been some negligence; I don't know what did become of those +fourteen unadministered bottles of cod-liver oil that you have +made such a fuss about, but I shall investigate. + +And I cannot, for various reasons, pack off Miss Snaith in +the summary fashion you demand. She may be, in certain respects, +inefficient; but she is kind to the children, and with +supervision will answer temporarily. + + Yours truly, + + S. McBRIDE. + + + Thursday. +Dear Enemy: + +SOYEZ TRANQUILLE. I have issued orders, and in the future the +children shall receive all of the cod-liver oil that by rights is +theirs. A wilfu' man maun hae his way. + + S. McB. + + + March 22. +Dear Judy: + +Asylum life has looked up a trifle during the past few days-- +since the great Cod-Liver Oil War has been raging. The first +skirmish occurred on Tuesday, and I unfortunately missed it, +having accompanied four of my children on a shopping trip to the +village. I returned to find the asylum teeming with hysterics. +Our explosive doctor had paid us a visit. + +Sandy has two passions in life: one is for cod-liver oil and the +other for spinach, neither popular in our nursery. Some time +ago--before I came, in fact--he had ordered cod-liver oil for all + {aenemic} + of the{ }--Heavens! there's that word again! + {aneamic} +--children, and had given instructions as to its application to +Miss Snaith. Yesterday, in his suspicious Scotch fashion, he +began nosing about to find out why the poor little rats weren't +fattening up as fast as he thought they ought, and he un +earthed a hideous scandal. They haven't received a whiff of cod- +liver oil for three whole weeks! At that point he exploded, and +all was joy and excitement and hysterics. + +Betsy says that she had to send Sadie Kate to the laundry on +an improvised errand, as his language was not fit for orphan +ears. By the time I got home he had gone, and Miss Snaith had +retired, weeping, to her room, and the whereabouts of fourteen +bottles of cod-liver oil was still unexplained. He had accused +her at the top of his voice of taking them herself. Imagine Miss +Snaith,--she who looks so innocent and chinless and inoffensive-- +stealing cod-liver oil from these poor helpless little orphans +and guzzling it in private! + +Her defense consisted in hysterical assertions that she loved +the children, and had done her duty as she saw it. She did not +believe in giving medicine to babies; she thought drugs bad for +their poor little stomachs. You can imagine Sandy! Oh, dear! +oh, dear! To think I missed it! + +Well, the tempest raged for three days, and Sadie Kate nearly +ran her little legs off carrying peppery messages back and forth +between us and the doctor. It is only under stress that I +communicate with him by telephone, as he has an interfering old +termagant of a housekeeper who "listens in" on the down-stairs +switch. I don't wish the scandalous secrets of the John Grier +spread abroad. The doctor demanded Miss Snaith's instant +dismissal, and I refused. Of course she is a vague, unfocused, +inefficient old thing, but she does love the children, and with +proper supervision is fairly useful. + +At least, in the light of her exalted family connections, I +can't pack her off in disgrace like a drunken cook. I am hoping +in time to eliminate her by a process of delicate suggestion; +perhaps I can make her feel that her health requires a winter in +California. And also, no matter what the doctor wants, so +positive and dictatorial is his manner that just out of self- +respect one must take the other side. When he states that the +world is round, I instantly assert it to be triangular. + +Finally, after three pleasantly exhilarating days, the whole +business settled itself. An apology (a very dilute one) was +extracted from him for being so unkind to the poor lady, and full +confession, with promises for the future, was drawn from her. It +seems that she couldn't bear to make the little dears take the +stuff, but, for obvious reasons, she couldn't bear to cross Dr. +MacRae, so she hid the last fourteen bottles in a dark corner of +the cellar. Just how she was planning to dispose of her loot I +don't know. Can you pawn cod-liver oil? + +LATER. + + +Peace negotiations had just ended this afternoon, and Sandy +had made a dignified exit, when the Hon. Cyrus Wykoff was +announced. Two enemies in the course of an hour are really too +much! + +The Hon. Cy was awfully impressed with the new dining room, +especially when he heard that Betsy had put on those rabbits with +her own lily-white hands. Stenciling rabbits on walls, he +allows, is a fitting pursuit for a woman, but an executive +position like mine is a trifle out of her sphere. He thinks it +would be far wiser if Mr. Pendleton did not give me such free +scope in the spending of his money. + +While we were still contemplating Betsy's mural flight, an +awful crash came from the pantry, and we found Gladiola Murphy +weeping among the ruins of five yellow plates. It is +sufficiently shattering to my nerves to hear these crashes when I +am alone, but it is peculiarly shattering when receiving a call +from an unsympathetic trustee. + +I shall cherish that set of dishes to the best of my ability, +but if you wish to see your gift in all its uncracked beauty, I +should advise you to hurry North, and visit the John Grier Home +without delay. + + Yours as ever, + + SALLIE. + + + March 26. +My dear Judy: + +I have just been holding an interview with a woman who wants to +take a baby home to surprise her husband. I had a hard time +convincing her that, since he is to support the child, it might +be a delicate attention to consult him about its adoption. She +argued stubbornly that it was none of his business, seeing that +the onerous work of washing and dressing and training would fall +upon her. I am really beginning to feel sorry for men. Some of +them seem to have very few rights. + +Even our pugnacious doctor I suspect of being a victim of +domestic tyranny, and his housekeeper's at that. It is +scandalous the way Maggie McGurk neglects the poor man. I have +had to put him in charge of an orphan. Sadie Kate, with a very +housewifely air, is this moment sitting cross-legged on the +hearth rug sewing buttons on his overcoat while he is upstairs +tending babies. + +You would never believe it, but Sandy and I are growing quite +confidential in a dour Scotch fashion. It has become his habit, +when homeward bound after his professional calls, to chug up to +our door about four in the afternoon, and make the rounds of the +house to make sure that we are not developing cholera morbus or +infanticide or anything catching, and then present himself at +four-thirty at my library door to talk over our mutual problems. + +Does he come to see me? Oh, no, indeed; he comes to get tea +and toast and marmalade. The man hath a lean and hungry look. +His housekeeper doesn't feed him enough. As soon as I get +the upper hand of him a little more, I am going to urge him on to +revolt. + +Meanwhile he is very grateful for something to eat, but oh, +so funny in his attempts at social grace! At first he would hold +a cup of tea in one hand, a plate of muffins in the other, and +then search blankly for a third hand to eat them with. Now he +has solved the problem. He turns in his toes and brings his +knees together; then he folds his napkin into a long, narrow +wedge that fills the crack between them, thus forming a very +workable pseudo lap; after that he sits with tense muscles until +the tea is drunk. I suppose I ought to provide a table, but the +spectacle of Sandy with his toes turned in is the one gleam of +amusement that my day affords. + +The postman is just driving in with, I trust, a letter from +you. Letters make a very interesting break in the monotony of +asylum life. If you wish to keep this superintendent contented, +you'd better write often. + + . . . . . . . . + +Mail received and contents noted. + +Kindly convey my thanks to Jervis for three alligators in a +swamp. He shows rare artistic taste in the selection of his post +cards. Your seven-page illustrated letter from Miami arrives at +the same time. I should have known Jervis from the palm tree +perfectly, even without the label, as the tree has so much the +more hair of the two. Also, I have a polite bread-and-butter +letter from my nice young man in Washington, and a book from him, +likewise a box of candy. The bag of peanuts for the kiddies he +has shipped by express. Did you ever know such assiduity? + +Jimmie favors me with the news that he is coming to visit me +as soon as father can spare him from the factory. The poor boy +does hate that factory so! It isn't that he is lazy; he just +simply isn't interested in overalls. But father can't understand +such a lack of taste. Having built up the factory, he of course +has developed a passion for overalls, which should have been +inherited by his eldest son. I find it awfully convenient to +have been born a daughter; I am not asked to like overalls, but +am left free to follow any morbid career I may choose, such as +this. + +To return to my mail: There arrives an advertisement from a +wholesale grocer, saying that he has exceptionally economical +brands of oatmeal, rice, flour, prunes, and dried apples that he +packs specially for prisons and charitable institutions. Sounds +nutritious, doesn't it? + +I also have letters from a couple of farmers, each of whom +would like to have a strong, husky boy of fourteen who is not +afraid of work, their object being to give him a good home. +These good homes appear with great frequency just as the spring +planting is coming on. When we investigated one of them last +week, the village minister, in answer to our usual question, +"Does he own any property?" replied in a very guarded manner, "I +think he must own a corkscrew." + +You would hardly credit some of the homes that we have +investigated. We found a very prosperous country family the +other day, who lived huddled together in three rooms in order to +keep the rest of their handsome house clean. The fourteen-year +girl they wished to adopt, by way of a cheap servant, was to +sleep in the same tiny room with their own three children. Their +kitchen-dining-parlor apartment was more cluttered up and unaired +than any city tenement I ever saw, and the thermometer at eighty- +four. One could scarcely say they were living there; they were +rather COOKING. You may be sure they got no girl from us! + +I have made one invariable rule--every other is flexible. No +child is to be placed out unless the proposed family can offer +better advantages than we can give. I mean than we are going to +be able to give in the course of a few months, when we get +ourselves made over into a model institution. I shall have to +confess that at present we are still pretty bad. + +But anyway, I am very CHOOSEY in regard to homes, and I +reject three-fourths of those that offer. + +LATER. + + +Gordon has made honorable amends to my children. His bag of +peanuts is here, made of burlap and three feet high. + +Do you remember the dessert of peanuts and maple sugar they +used to give us at college? We turned up our noses, but ate. I +am instituting it here, and I assure you we don't turn up our +noses. It is a pleasure to feed children who have graduated from +a course of Mrs. Lippett; they are pathetically grateful for +small blessings. + +You can't complain that this letter is too short. + + Yours, + + On the verge of writer's cramp, + + S. McB. + + + THE JOHN GRIER HOME, + + Off and on, all day Friday. +Dear Judy: + +You will be interested to hear that I have encountered another +enemy--the doctor's housekeeper. I had talked to the creature +several times over the telephone, and had noted that her voice +was not distinguished by the soft, low accents that mark the +caste of "Vere de Vere"; but now I have seen her. This morning, +while returning from the village, I made a slight detour, and +passed our doctor's house. Sandy is evidently the result of +environment--olive green, with a mansard roof and the shades +pulled down. You would think he had just been holding a funeral. + +I don't wonder that the amenities of life have somewhat escaped +the poor man. After studying the outside of his house, I was +filled with curiosity to see if the inside matched. + +Having sneezed five times before breakfast this morning, I +decided to go in and consult him professionally. To be sure, he +is a children's specialist, but sneezes are common to all ages. +So I boldly marched up the steps and rang the bell. + +Hark! What sound is that that breaks upon our revelry? The +Hon. Cy's voice, as I live, approaching up the stairs. I've +letters to write, and I can't be tormented by his blether, so I +am rushing Jane to the door with orders to look him firmly in the +eye and tell him I am out. + + . . . . . . . . + +On with the dance! Let joy be unconfined. He's gone. + +But those eight stars represent eight agonizing minutes spent +in the dark of my library closet. The Hon. Cy received Jane's +communication with the affable statement that he would sit +down and wait. Whereupon he entered and sat. But did Jane leave +me to languish in the closet? No; she enticed him to the nursery +to see the AWFUL thing that Sadie Kate has done. The Hon. Cy +loves to see awful things, particularly when done by Sadie Kate. +I haven't an idea what scandal Jane is about to disclose; but no +matter, he has gone. + +Where was I? Oh, yes; I had rung the doctor's bell. + +The door was opened by a large, husky person with her sleeves +rolled up. She looked very businesslike, with a hawk's nose and +cold gray eyes. + +"Well?" said she, her tone implying that I was a vacuum- +cleaning agent. + +"Good morning." I smiled affably, and stepped inside. "Is +this Mrs. McGurk?" + +"It is," said she. "An' ye'll be the new young woman in the +orphan asylum?" + +"I am that," said I. "Is himself at home?" + +"He is not," said she. + +"But this is his office hour." + +"He don't keep it regular'." + +"He ought," said I, sternly. "Kindly tell him that Miss +McBride called to consult him, and ask him to look in at the John +Grier Home this afternoon." + +"Ump'!" grunted Mrs. McGurk, and closed the door so promptly +that she shut in the hem of my skirt. + +When I told the doctor this afternoon, he shrugged his +shoulders, and observed that that was Maggie's gracious way. + +"And why do you put up with Maggie?" said I. + +"And where would I find any one better?" said he. "Doing the +work for a lone man who comes as irregularly to meals as a +twenty-four-hour day will permit is no sinecure. She furnishes +little sunshine in the home, but she does manage to produce a hot +dinner at nine o'clock at night." + +Just the same, I am willing to wager that her hot dinners +are neither delicious nor well served. She's an inefficient, +lazy old termagant, and I know why she doesn't like me. She +imagines that I want to steal away the doctor and oust her from a +comfortable position, something of a joke, considering. But I am +not undeceiving her; it will do the old thing good to worry a +little. She may cook him better dinners, and fatten him up a +trifle. I understand that fat men are good-natured. + +TEN O'CLOCK. + + +I don't know what silly stuff I have been writing to you off +and on all day, between interruptions. It has got to be night at +last, and I am too tired to do so much as hold up my head. Your +song tells the sad truth, "There is no joy in life but sleep." + +I bid you good night. + + S. McB. + + +Isn't the English language absurd? Look at those forty +monosyllables in a row! + + + J. G. H., + + April 1. +Dear Judy: + +I have placed out Isador Gutschneider. His new mother is a +Swedish woman, fat and smiling, with blue eyes and yellow hair. +She chose him out of the whole nurseryful of children because he +was the brunettest baby there. She has always loved brunettes, +but in her most ambitious dreams has never hoped to have one of +her own. His name is going to be changed to Oscar Carlson, after +his new dead uncle. + +My first trustees' meeting is to occur next Wednesday. I +confess that I am not looking forward to it with impatience-- +especially as an inaugural address by me will be its chief +feature. I wish our president were here to back me up! But at +least I am sure of one thing. I am never going to adopt the +Uriah Heepish attitude toward trustees that characterized Mrs. +Lippett's manners. I shall treat "first Wednesdays" as a +pleasant social diversion, my day at home, when the friends of +the asylum gather for discussion and relaxation; and I shall +endeavor not to let our pleasures discommode the orphans. You +see how I have taken to heart the unhappy experiences of that +little Jerusha. + +Your last letter has arrived, and no suggestion in it of +traveling North. Isn't it about time that you were turning your +faces back toward Fifth Avenue? Hame is hame, be 't ever sae +hamely. Don't you marvel at the Scotch that flows so readily +from my pen? Since being acquent' wi' Sandy, I hae gathered a +muckle new vocabulary. + The dinner gong! I leave you, to devote a revivifying half- +hour to mutton hash. We eat to live in the John Grier Home. + +SIX O'CLOCK. + + +The Hon. Cy has been calling again. He drops in with great +frequency, hoping to catch me IN DELICTU. How I do not like that +man! He is a pink, fat, puffy old thing, with a pink, fat, puffy +soul. I was in a very cheery, optimistic frame of mind before +his arrival, but now I shall do nothing but grumble for the rest +of the day. + +He deplores all of the useless innovations that I am +endeavoring to introduce, such as a cheerful playroom, prettier +clothes, baths, and better food and fresh air and play and fun +and ice-cream and kisses. He says that I will unfit these +children to occupy the position in life that God has called them +to occupy. + +At that my Irish blood came to the surface, and I told him +that if God had planned to make all of these 113 little children +into useless, ignorant, unhappy citizens, I was going to fool +God! That we weren't educating them out of their class in the +least. We were educating them INTO their natural class much more +effectually than is done in the average family. We weren't +trying to force them into college if they hadn't any brains, as +happens with rich men's sons; and we weren't putting them to work +at fourteen if they were naturally ambitious, as happens with +poor men's sons. We were watching them closely and individually +and discovering their level. If our children showed an aptitude +to become farm laborers and nurse-maids, we were going to teach +them to be the best possible farm laborers and nurse-maids; and +if they showed a tendency to become lawyers, we would turn them +into honest, intelligent, open-minded lawyers. (He's a lawyer +himself, but certainly not an open-minded one.) + +He grunted when I had finished my remarks, and stirred his +tea vigorously. Whereupon I suggested that perhaps he needed +another lump of sugar, and dropped it in, and left him to absorb +it. + +The only way to deal with trustees is with a firm and steady +hand. You have to keep them in their places. + +Oh, my dear! that smudge in the corner was caused by +Singapore's black tongue. He is trying to send you an +affectionate kiss. Poor Sing thinks he's a lap dog--isn't it a +tragedy when people mistake their vocations? I myself am not +always certain that I was born an orphan asylum superintendent. + + Yours, til deth, + + S. McB. + + + SUPERINTENDENT'S OFFICE, + + JOHN GRIER HOME, + + April 4. + +THE PENDLETON FAMILY, + + Palm Beach, Florida. + +Dear Sir and Madam: + +I have weathered my first visitors' day, and made the trustees a +beautiful speech. Everybody said it was a beautiful speech--even +my enemies. + +Mr. Gordon Hallock's recent visit was exceptionally +opportune; I gleaned from him many suggestions as to how to carry +an audience. + +"Be funny."--I told about Sadie Kate and a few other cherubs +that you don't know. + +"Keep it concrete and fitted to the intelligence of your +audience."--I watched the Hon. Cy, and never said a thing +that he couldn't understand. + +"Flatter your hearers."--I hinted delicately that all of +these new reforms were due to the wisdom and initiative of our +peerless trustees. + +"Give it a high moral tone, with a dash of pathos."--I dwelt +upon the parentless condition of these little wards of Society. +And it was very affecting--my enemy wiped away a tear! + +Then I fed them up on chocolate and whipped cream and +lemonade and tartar sandwiches, and sent them home, expansive and +beaming, but without any appetite for dinner. + +I dwell thus at length upon our triumph, in order to create +in you a happy frame of mind, before passing to the higeous +calamity that so nearly wrecked the occasion. + + "Now follows the dim horror of my tale, + And I feel I'm growing gradually pale, + For, even at this day, + Though its smell has passed away, + When I venture to remember it, I quail!" + + +You never heard of our little Tammas Kehoe, did you? I +simply haven't featured Tammas because he requires so much ink +and time and vocabulary. He's a spirited lad, and he follows his +dad, a mighty hunter of old--that sounds like more Bab Ballads, +but it isn't; I made it up as I went along. + +We can't break Tammas of his inherited predatory instincts. +He shoots the chickens with bows and arrows and lassoes the pigs +and plays bull-fight with the cows--and oh, is very destructive! +But his crowning villainy occurred an hour before the trustees' +meeting, when we wanted to be so clean and sweet and engaging. + +It seems that he had stolen the rat trap from the oat bin, +and had set it up in the wood lot, and yesterday morning was so +fortunate as to catch a fine big skunk. + +Singapore was the first to report the discovery. He returned +to the house and rolled on the rugs in a frenzy of remorse over +his part of the business. While our attention was occupied with +Sing, Tammas was busily skinning his prey in the seclusion of the +woodshed. He buttoned the pelt inside his jacket, conveyed it by +a devious route through the length of this building, and +concealed it under his bed where he thought it wouldn't be found. + +Then he went--per schedule--to the basement to help freeze the +ice-cream for our guests. You notice that we omitted ice-cream +from the menu. + +In the short time that remained we created all the counter- +irritation that was possible. Noah (negro furnace man) started +smudge fires at intervals about the grounds. Cook waved a +shovelful of burning coffee through the house. Betsy sprinkled +the corridors with ammonia. Miss Snaith daintily treated the +rugs with violet water. I sent an emergency call to the doctor +who came and mixed a gigantic solution of chlorid of lime. But +still, above and beneath and through every other odor, the unlaid +ghost of Tammas's victim cried for vengeance. + +The first business that came up at the meeting, was whether +we should dig a hole and bury, not only Tammas, but the whole +main building. You can see with what finesse I carried off the +shocking event, when I tell you that the Hon. Cy went home +chuckling over a funny story, instead of grumbling at the new +superintendent's inability to manage boys. + +We've our ain bit weird to dree! + + As ever, + + S. McBRIDE. + + + THE JOHN GRIER HOME, + + Friday, likewise Saturday. +Dear Judy: + +Singapore is still living in the carriage house, and receiving a +daily carbolic-scented bath from Tammas Kehoe. I am hoping that +some day, in the distant future, my darling will be fit to +return. + +You will be pleased to hear that I have instituted a new +method of spending your money. We are henceforth to buy a part +of our shoes and drygoods and drug store comestibles from local +shops, at not quite such low prices as the wholesale jobbers +give, but still at a discount, and the education that is being +thrown in is worth the difference. The reason is this: I have +made the discovery that half of my children know nothing of money +or its purchasing power. They think that shoes and corn meal and +red-flannel petticoats and mutton stew and gingham shirts just +float down from the blue sky. + +Last week I dropped a new green dollar bill out of my purse, +and an eight-year-old urchin picked it up and asked if he could +keep that picture of a bird. (American eagle in the center.) +That child had never seen a bill in his life! I began an +investigation, and discovered that dozens of children in this +asylum have never bought anything or have ever seen anybody buy +anything. And we are planning to turn them out at sixteen into a +world governed entirely by the purchasing power of dollars and +cents! Good heavens! just think of it! They are not to lead +sheltered lives with somebody eternally looking after them; they +have got to know how to get the very most they can out of every +penny they can manage to earn. + +I pondered the question all one night, at intervals, and went +to the village at nine o'clock the next morning. I held +conferences with seven storekeepers; found four open-minded and +helpful, two doubtful, and one actively stupid. I have started +with the four--drygoods, groceries, shoes, and stationery. In +return for somewhat large orders from us, they are to turn +themselves and their clerks into teachers for my children, who +are to go to the stores, inspect the stocks, and do their own +purchasing with real money. + +For example, Jane needs a spool of blue sewing-silk and a +yard of elastic; so two little girls, intrusted with a silver +quarter, trot hand in hand to Mr. Meeker's. They match the silk +with anxious care, and watch the clerk jealously while he +measures the elastic, to make sure that he doesn't stretch it. +Then they bring back six cents change, receive my thanks and +praise, and retire to the ranks tingling with a sense of +achievement. + +Isn't it pathetic? Ordinary children of ten or twelve +automatically know so many things that our little incubator +chicks have never dreamed of. But I have a variety of plans on +foot. Just give me time, and you will see. One of these days +I'll be turning out some nearly normal youngsters. + + +LATER. + + +I've an empty evening ahead, so I'll settle to some further +gossip with you. + +You remember the peanuts that Gordon Hallock sent? Well, I +was so gracious when I thanked him that it incited him to fresh +effort. He apparently went into a toy shop, and placed himself +unreservedly in the hands of an enterprising clerk. Yesterday +two husky expressmen deposited in our front hall a crate full of +expensive furry animals built to be consumed by the children of +the rich. They are not exactly what I should have purchased had +I been the one to disburse such a fortune, but my babies find +them very huggable. The chicks are now taking to bed with them +lions and elephants and bears and giraffes. I don't know what +the psychological effect will be. Do you suppose when they grow +up they will all join the circus? + +Oh, dear me, here is Miss Snaith, coming to pay a social +call. + + +Good-by. + + S. + +P.S. The prodigal has returned. He sends his respectful +regards, and three wags of the tail. + + + THE JOHN GRIER HOME, + + April 7. +My dear Judy: + +I have just been reading a pamphlet on manual training for girls, +and another on the proper diet for institutions--right +proportions of proteins, fats, starches, etc. In these days of +scientific charity, when every problem has been tabulated, you +can run an institution by chart. I don't see how Mrs. Lippett +could have made all the mistakes she did, assuming, of +course,that she knew how to read. But there is one quite +important branch of institutional work that has not been touched +upon, and I myself am gathering data. Some day I shall issue a +pamphlet on the "Management and Control of Trustees." + +I must tell you the joke about my enemy--not the Hon. Cy, but +my first, my original enemy. He has undertaken a new field of +endeavor. He says quite soberly (everything he does is sober; he +has never smiled yet) that he has been watching me closely since +my arrival, and though I am untrained and foolish and flippant +(sic), he doesn't think that I am really so superficial as I at +first appeared. I have an almost masculine ability of grasping +the whole of a question and going straight to the point. + +Aren't men funny? When they want to pay you the greatest +compliment in their power, they naively tell you that you have a +masculine mind. There is one compliment, incidentally, that I +shall never be paying him. I cannot honestly say that he has a +quickness of perception almost feminine. + +So, though Sandy quite plainly sees my faults, still, he +thinks that some of them may be corrected; and he has determined +to carry on my education from the point where the college dropped +it. A person in my position ought to be well read in physiology, +biology, psychology, sociology, and eugenics; she should know the +hereditary effects of insanity, idiocy, and alcohol; should be +able to administer the Binet test; and should understand the +nervous system of a frog. In pursuance whereof, he has placed at +my disposal his own scientific library of four thousand volumes. +He not only fetches in the books he wants me to read, but comes +and asks questions to make sure I haven't skipped. + +We devoted last week to the life and letters of the Jukes +family. Margaret, the mother of criminals, six generations ago, +founded a prolific line, and her progeny, mostly in jail, now +numbers some twelve hundred. Moral: watch the children with +a bad heredity so carefully that none of them can ever have any +excuse for growing up into Jukeses. + +So now, as soon as we have finished our tea, Sandy and I get +out the Doomsday Book, and pore over its pages in an anxious +search for alcoholic parents. It's a cheerful little game to +while away the twilight hour after the day's work is done. + +QUELLE VIE! Come home fast and take me out of it. I'm +wearying for the sight of you. + + SALLIE. + + + + J. G. H., + + Thursday morning. +My dear Pendleton Family: + +I have received your letter, and I seize my pen to stop you. I +don't wish to be relieved. I take it back. I change my mind. +The person you are planning to send sounds like an exact twin of +Miss Snaith. How can you ask me to turn over my darling children +to a kind, but ineffectual, middle-aged lady without any chin? +The very thought of it wrings a mother's heart. + +Do you imagine that such a woman can carry on this work even +temporarily? No! The manager of an institution like this has +got to be young and husky and energetic and forceful and +efficient and red-haired and sweet-tempered, like me. Of course +I've been discontented,--anybody would be with things in such a +mess,--but it's what you socialists call a holy discontent. And +do you think that I am going to abandon all of the beautiful +reforms I have so painstakingly started? No! I am not to be +moved from this spot until you find a superintendent superior to +Sallie McBride. + +That does not mean, though, that I am mortgaging myself +forever. Just for the present, until things get on their +feet. While the face washing, airing, reconstructing period +lasts, I honestly believe you chose the right person when you hit +upon me. I LOVE to plan improvements and order people about. + +This is an awfully messy letter, but I'm dashing it off in +three minutes in order to catch you before you definitely engage +that pleasant, inefficient middle-aged person without a chin. + +Please, kind lady and gentleman, don't do me out of me job! +Let me stay a few months longer. Just gimme a chance to show +what I'm good for, and I promise you won't never regret it. + + S. McB. + + + J. G. H., + + Thursday afternoon. +Dear Judy: + +I've composed a poem--a paean of victory. + + Robin MacRae + Smiled today. + +It's the truth! + S. McB. + + + + THE JOHN GRIER HOME, + + April 13. +Dear Judy: + +I am gratified to learn that you were gratified to learn that I +am going to stay. I hadn't realized it, but I am really getting +sort of attached to orphans. + +It's an awful disappointment that Jervis has business which +will keep you South so much longer. I am bursting with talk, and +it is such a laborious nuisance having to write everything I want +to say. + +Of course I am glad that we are to have the building +remodeled, and I think all of your ideas good, but I have a few +extra good ones myself. It will be nice to have the new +gymnasium and sleeping-porches, but, oh, my soul does long for +cottages! The more I look into the internal workings of an +orphan asylum, the more I realize that the only type of asylum +that can compete with a private family is one on the cottage +system. So long as the family is the unit of society, children +should be hardened early to family life. + +The problem that is keeping me awake at present is, What to +do with the children while we are being made over? It is hard to +live in a house and build it at the same time. How would it be +if I rented a circus tent and pitched it on the lawn? + +Also, when we plunge into our alterations, I want a few guest +rooms where our children can come back when ill or out of work. +The great secret of our lasting influence in their lives will be +our watchful care afterward. What a terrible ALONE feeling it +must give a person not to have a family hovering in the +background! With all my dozens of aunts and uncles and mothers +and fathers and cousins and brothers and sisters, I can't +visualize it. I'd be terrified and panting if I didn't have lots +of cover to run to. And for these forlorn little mites, somehow +or other the John Grier Home must supply their need. So, dear +people, send me half a dozen guest rooms, if you please. + +Good-by, and I'm glad you didn't put in the other woman. The +very suggestion of somebody else taking over my own beautiful +reforms before they were even started, stirred up all the +opposition in me. I'm afraid I'm like Sandy--I canna think aught +is dune richt except my ain hand is in 't. + + Yours, for the present, + + SALLIE McBRIDE. + + + THE JOHN GRIER HOME, + + Sunday. +Dear Gordon: + +I know that I haven't written lately; you have a perfect right to +grumble, but oh dear! oh dear! you can't imagine what a busy +person an orphan asylum superintendent is. And all the writing +energy I possess has to be expended upon that voracious Judy +Abbott Pendleton. If three days go by without a letter she +telegraphs to know if the asylum has burned; whereas, if you-- +nice man--go letterless, you simply send us a present to remind +us of your existence. So, you see, it's distinctly to our +advantage to slight you often. + +You will probably be annoyed when I tell you that I have +promised to stay on here. They finally did find a woman to take +my place, but she wasn't at all the right type and would have +answered only temporarily. And, my dear Gordon, it's true, when +I faced saying good-by to this feverish planning and activity, +Worcester somehow looked rather colorless. I couldn't bear to +let my asylum go unless I was sure of substituting a life packed +equally full of sensation. + +I know the alternative you will suggest, but please don't-- +just now. I told you before that I must have a few months longer +to make up my mind. And in the meantime I like the feeling that +I'm of use in the world. There's something constructive and +optimistic about working with children; that is, if you look at +it from my cheerful point of view, and not from our Scotch +doctor's. I've never seen anybody like that man; he's always +pessimistic and morbid and down. It's best not to be too +intelligent about insanity and dipsomania and all the other +hereditary details. I am just about ignorant enough to be light- +hearted and effective in a place like this. + +The thought of all of these little lives expanding in every +direction eternally thrills me. There are so many possibilities +in our child garden for every kind of flower. It has been +planted rather promiscuously, to be sure, but though we +undoubtedly shall gather a number of weeds, we are also hoping +for some rare and beautiful blossoms. Am I not growing +sentimental? It is due to hunger--and there goes the dinner- +gong! We are going to have a delicious meal: roast beef and +creamed carrots and beet greens, with rhubarb pie for dessert. +Would you not like to dine with me? I should love to have you. + + Most cordially yours, + + S. McB. + +P.S. You should see the number of poor homeless cats that these +children want to adopt. We had four when I came, and they have +all had kittens since. I haven't taken an exact census, but I +think the institution possesses nineteen. + + + April 15. +My dear Judy: + +You'd like to make another slight donation to the J. G. H. out of +the excess of last month's allowance? BENE! Will you kindly +have the following inserted in all low-class metropolitan +dailies: + + Notice! + To Parents Planning to Abandon their Children: + Please do it before they have reached their third year. + + +I can't think of any action on the part of abandoning parents +that would help us more effectually. This having to root up evil +before you begin planting good is slow, discouraging work. + +We have one child here who has almost floored me; but I WILL +NOT acknowledge myself beaten by a child of five. He alternates +between sullen moroseness, when he won't speak a word, and the +most violent outbursts of temper, when he smashes everything +within reach. He has been here only three months, and in that +time he has destroyed nearly every piece of bric-a-brac in the +institution--not, by the way, a great loss to art. + +A month or so before I came he pulled the tablecloth from the +officers' table while the girl in charge was in the corridor +sounding the gong. The soup had already been served. You can +imagine the mess! Mrs. Lippett half killed the child on that +occasion, but the killing did nothing to lessen the temper, which +was handed on to me intact. + +His father was Italian and his mother Irish; he has red hair +and freckles from County Cork and the most beautiful brown +eyes that ever came out of Naples. After the father was stabbed +in a fight and the mother had died of alcoholism, the poor little +chap by some chance or other got to us. I suspect that he +belongs in the Catholic Protectory. As for his manners--oh dear! +oh dear! They are what you would expect. He kicks and bites and +swears. I have dubbed him Punch. + +Yesterday he was brought squirming and howling to my office, +charged with having knocked down a little girl and robbed her of +her doll. Miss Snaith plumped him into a chair behind me, and +left him to grow quiet, while I went on with my writing. I was +suddenly startled by an awful crash. He had pushed that big +green jardiniere off the window-sill and broken it into five +hundred pieces. I jumped with a suddenness that swept the ink- +bottle to the floor, and when Punch saw that second catastrophe, +he stopped roaring with rage and threw back his head and roared +with laughter. The child is DIABOLICAL. + +I have determined to try a new method of discipline that I +don't believe in the whole of his forlorn little life he has ever +experienced. I am going to see what praise and encouragement and +love will do. So, instead of scolding him about the jardiniere, +I assumed that it was an accident. I kissed him and told him not +to feel bad; that I didn't mind in the least. It shocked him +into being quiet; he simply held his breath and stared while I +wiped away his tears and sopped up the ink. + +The child just now is the biggest problem that the J. G. H. +affords. He needs the most patient, loving, individual care--a +proper mother and father, likewise some brothers and sisters and +a grandmother. But I can't place him in a respectable family +until I make over his language and his propensity to break +things. I separated him from the other children, and kept him in +my room all the morning, Jane having removed to safe heights all +destructible OBJETS D'ART. Fortunately, he loves to draw, and he +sat on a rug for two hours, and occupied himself with colored +pencils. He was so surprised when I showed an interest in a red- +and-green ferryboat, with a yellow flag floating from the mast, +that he became quite profanely affable. Until then I couldn't +get a word out of him. + +In the afternoon Dr. MacRae dropped in and admired the +ferryboat, while Punch swelled with the pride of creation. Then, +as a reward for being such a good little boy, the doctor took him +out in his automobile on a visit to a country patient. + +Punch was restored to the fold at five o'clock by a sadder +and wiser doctor. At a sedate country estate he had stoned the +chickens, smashed a cold frame, and swung the pet Angora cat by +its tail. Then when the sweet old lady tried to make him be kind +to poor pussy, he told her to go to hell. + +I can't bear to consider what some of these children have +seen and experienced. It will take years of sunshine and +happiness and love to eradicate the dreadful memories that they +have stored up in the far-back corners of their little brains. +And there are so many children and so few of us that we can't hug +them enough; we simply haven't arms or laps to go around. + +MAIS PARLONS D'AUTRES CHOSES! Those awful questions of +heredity and environment that the doctor broods over so +constantly are getting into my blood, too; and it's a vicious +habit. If a person is to be of any use in a place like this, she +must see nothing but good in the world. Optimism is the only +wear for a social worker. + +"'Tis the middle of night by the castle clock"--do you know +where that beautiful line of poetry comes from? "Cristabel," of +English K. Mercy! how I hated that course! You, being an English +shark, liked it; but I never understood a word that was said from +the time I entered the classroom till I left it. However, the +remark with which I opened this paragraph is true. It IS the +middle of night by the mantelpiece clock, so I'll wish you +pleasant dreams. + ADDIO! + + SALLIE. + + + Tuesday. + +Dear Enemy: + +You doctored the whole house, then stalked past my library with +your nose in the air, while I was waiting tea with a plate of +Scotch scones sitting on the trivet, ordered expressly for you as +a peace-offering. + +If you are really hurt, I will read the Kallikak book; but I +must tell you that you are working me to death. It takes +almost all of my energy to be an effective superintendent, and +this university extension course that you are conducting I find +wearing. You remember how indignant you were one day last week +because I confessed to having stayed up until one o'clock the +night before? Well, my dear man, if I were to accomplish all the +vicarious reading you require, I should sit up until morning +every night. + +However, bring it in. I usually manage half an hour of +recreation after dinner, and though I had wanted to glance at +Wells's latest novel, I will amuse myself instead with your +feeble-minded family. + +Life of late is unco steep. + Obligingly yours, + + S. McB. + + + THE JOHN GRIER HOME, + + April 17. +Dear Gordon: + +Thank you for the tulips, likewise the lilies of the valley. +They are most becoming to my blue Persian bowls. + +Have you ever heard of the Kallikaks? Get the book and read +them up. They are a two-branch family in New Jersey, I think, +though their real name and origin is artfully concealed. But, +anyway,--and this is true,--six generations ago a young +gentleman, called for convenience Martin Kallikak, got drunk one +night and temporarily eloped with a feeble-minded barmaid, thus +founding a long line of feeble-minded Kallikaks,--drunkards, +gamblers, prostitutes, horse thieves,--a scourge to New Jersey +and surrounding States. + +Martin later straightened up, married a normal woman, and +founded a second line of proper Kallikaks,--judges, doctors, +farmers, professors, politicians,--a credit to their country. +And there the two branches still are, flourishing side by side. +You can see what a blessing it would have been to New Jersey +if something drastic had happened to that feeble-minded barmaid +in her infancy. + +It seems that feeblemindedness is a very hereditary quality, +and science isn't able to overcome it. No operation has been +discovered for introducing brains into the head of a child who +didn't start with them. And the child grows up with, say, a +nine-year brain in a thirty-year body, and becomes an easy tool +for any criminal he meets. Our prisons are one-third full of +feeble-minded convicts. Society ought to segregate them on +feeble-minded farms, where they can earn their livings in +peaceful menial pursuits, and not have children. Then in a +generation or so we might be able to wipe them out. + +Did you know all that? It's very necessary information for a +politician to have. Get the book and read it, please; I'd send +my copy only that it's borrowed. + +It's also very necessary information for me to have. There +are eleven of these chicks that I suspect a bit, and I am SURE of +Loretta Higgins. I have been trying for a month to introduce one +or two basic ideas into that child's brain, and now I know what +the trouble is: her head is filled with a sort of soft cheesy +substance instead of brain. + +I came up here to make over this asylum in such little +details as fresh air and food and clothes and sunshine, but, +heavens! you can see what problems I am facing. I've got to make +over society first, so that it won't send me sub-normal children +to work with. Excuse all this excited conversation; but I've +just met up with the subject of feeble-mindedness, and it's +appalling--and interesting. It is your business as a legislator +to make laws that will remove it from the world. Please attend +to this immediately, + And oblige, + + S. McBRIDE, + + Sup't John Grier Home. + + + Friday. +Dear Man of Science: + +You didn't come today. Please don't skip us tomorrow. I have +finished the Kallikak family and I am bursting with talk. Don't +you think we ought to have a psychologist examine these children? + +We owe it to adopting parents not to saddle them with feeble- +minded offspring. + +You know, I'm tempted to ask you to prescribe arsenic for +Loretta's cold. I've diagnosed her case; she's a Kallikak. Is +it right to let her grow up and found a line of 378 feeble-minded +people for society to care for? Oh dear! I do hate to poison +the child, but what can I do? + + S. McB. + + + +Dear Gordon: + +You aren't interested in feeble-minded people, and you are +shocked because I am? Well, I am equally shocked because you are +not. If you aren't interested in everything of the sort that +there unfortunately is in this world, how can you make wise laws? + +You can't. + +However, at your request, I will converse upon a less morbid +subject. I've just bought fifty yards of blue and rose and green +and corn-colored hair-ribbon as an Easter present for my fifty +little daughters. I am also thinking of sending you an +Easter present. How would a nice fluffy little kitten please +you? I can offer any of the following patterns:-- + + +Number 3 comes in any color, gray, black, or yellow. If you +will let me know which you would rather have, I will express it +at once. + +I would write a respectable letter, but it's teatime, and I +see that a guest approaches. + + ADDIO! + + SALLIE. + +P.S. Don't you know some one who would like to adopt a desirable +baby boy with seventeen nice new teeth? + + + April 20. +My dear Judy: + +One a penny, two a penny, hot cross buns! We've had a Good +Friday present of ten dozen, given by Mrs. De Peyster Lambert, a +high church, stained-glass-window soul whom I met at a tea a few +days ago. (Who says now that teas are a silly waste of time?) +She asked me about my "precious little waifs," and said I was +doing a noble work and would be rewarded. I saw buns in her eye, +and sat down and talked to her for half an hour. + +Now I shall go and thank her in person, and tell her with a +great deal of affecting detail how much those buns were +appreciated by my precious little waifs--omitting the account of +how precious little Punch threw his bun at Miss Snaith and +plastered her neatly in the eye. I think, with encouragement, +Mrs. De Peyster Lambert can be developed into a cheerful giver. + +Oh, I'm growing into the most shocking beggar! My family +don't dare to visit me, because I demand BAKSHISH in such a +brazen manner. I threatened to remove father from my calling +list unless he shipped immediately sixty-five pairs of overalls +for my prospective gardeners. A notice from the freight office +this morning asks me to remove two packing cases consigned to +them by the J. L. McBride Co. of Worcester; so I take it that +father desires to continue my acquaintance. Jimmie hasn't sent +us anything yet, and he's getting a huge salary. I write him +frequently a pathetic list of our needs. + +But Gordon Hallock has learned the way to a mother's heart. +I was so pleasant about the peanuts and menagerie that now he +sends a present of some sort every few days, and I spend my +entire time composing thank-you letters that aren't exact copies +of the ones I've sent before. Last week we received a dozen big +scarlet balls. The nursery is FULL of them; you kick them before +you as you walk. And yesterday there arrived a half-bushel of +frogs and ducks and fishes to float in the bathtubs. + +Send, O best of trustees, the tubs in which to float them! + + I am, as usual, + + S. McBRIDE. + + + Tuesday. +My dear Judy: + +Spring must be lurking about somewhere; the birds are arriving +from the South. Isn't it time you followed their example? + +Society note from the BIRD O' PASSAGE NEWS: + +"Mr. and Mrs. First Robin have returned from a trip to +Florida. It is hoped that Mr. and Mrs. Jervis Pendleton will +arrive shortly." + +Even up here in our dilatory Dutchess County the breeze +smells green. It makes you want to be out and away, roaming the +hills, or else down on your knees grubbing in the dirt. Isn't it +funny what farmering instincts the budding spring awakens in even +the most urban souls? + +I have spent the morning making plans for little private +gardens for every child over nine. The big potato field is +doomed. That is the only feasible spot for sixty-two private +gardens. It is near enough to be watched from the north windows, +and yet far enough away, so that their messing will not injure +our highly prized landscape lawn. Also the earth is rich, and +they have some chance of success. I don't want the poor little +chicks to scratch all summer, and then not turn up any treasure +in the end. In order to furnish an incentive, I shall announce +that the institution will buy their produce and pay in real +money, though I foresee we shall be buried under a mountain of +radishes. + +I do so want to develop self-reliance and initiative in these +children, two sturdy qualities in which they are conspicuously +lacking (with the exception of Sadie Kate and a few other bad +ones). Children who have spirit enough to be bad I consider very +hopeful. It's those who are good just from inertia that are +discouraging. + +The last few days have been spent mainly in charming the +devil out of Punch, an interesting task if I could devote my +whole time to it. But with one hundred and seven other little +devils to charm away, my attention is sorely deflected. + +The awful thing about this life is that whatever I am doing, +the other things that I am not doing, but ought to be, keep +tugging at my skirts. There is no doubt but Punch's personal +devil needs the whole attention of a whole person,--preferably +two persons,--so that they could spell each other and get some +rest. + +Sadie Kate has just flown in from the nursery with news of a +scarlet goldfish (Gordon's gift) swallowed by one of our babies. +Mercy! the number of calamities that can occur in an orphan +asylum! + +9 P.M. + + +My children are in bed, and I've just had a thought. +Wouldn't it be heavenly if the hibernating system prevailed among +the human young? There would be some pleasure in running an +asylum if one could just tuck the little darlings into bed the +first of October and keep them there until the twenty-second of +April. + + I'm yours, as ever, + + SALLIE. + + + + April 24. +Dear Jervis Pendleton, Esq.: + +This is to supplement a night telegram which I sent you ten +minutes ago. Fifty words not being enough to convey any idea of +my emotions, I herewith add a thousand. + +As you will know by the time you receive this, I have +discharged the farmer, and he has refused to be discharged. +Being twice the size of me, I can't lug him to the gate and chuck +him out. He wants a notification from the president of the board +of trustees written in vigorous language on official paper in +typewriting. So, dear president of the board of trustees, kindly +supply all of this at your earliest convenience. + +Here follows the history of the case: + +The winter season still being with us when I arrived and +farming activities at a low ebb, I have heretofore paid little +attention to Robert Sterry except to note on two occasions that +his pigpens needed cleaning; but today I sent for him to come and +consult with me in regard to spring planting. + +Sterry came, as requested, and seated himself at ease in my +office with his hat upon his head. I suggested as tactfully as +might be that he remove it, an entirely necessary request, as +little orphan boys were in and out on errands, and "hats off in +the house" is our first rule in masculine deportment. + +Sterry complied with my request, and stiffened himself to be +against whatever I might desire. + +I proceeded to the subject in hand, namely, that the diet of +the John Grier Home in the year to come is to consist less +exclusively of potatoes. At which our farmer grunted in the +manner of the Hon. Cyrus Wykoff, only it was a less ethereal and +gentlemanly grunt than a trustee permits himself. I enumerated +corn and beans and onions and peas and tomatoes and beets and +carrots and turnips as desirable substitutes. + +Sterry observed that if potatoes and cabbages was good enough +for him, he guessed they was good enough for charity children. + +I proceeded imperturbably to say that the two-acre potato +field was to be plowed and fertilized, and laid out into sixty +individual gardens, the boys assisting in the work. + +At that Sterry exploded. The two-acre field was the most +fertile and valuable piece of earth on the whole place. He +guessed if I was to break that up into play gardens for the +children to mess about in, I'd be hearing about it pretty danged +quick from the board of trustees. That field was fitted for +potatoes, it had always raised potatoes, and it was going to +continue to raise them just as long as he had anything to say +about it. + +"You have nothing whatever to say about it," I amiably +replied. "I have decided that the two-acre field is the best +plot to use for the children's gardens, and you and the potatoes +will have to give way." + +Whereupon he rose in a storm of bucolic wrath, and said he'd +be gol darned if he'd have a lot of these danged city brats +interfering with his work. + +I explained--very calmly for a red-haired person with Irish +forebears--that this place was run for the exclusive benefit of +these children; that the children were not here to be exploited +for the benefit of the place, a philosophy which he did not +grasp, though my fancy city language had a slightly dampening +effect. I added that what I required in a farmer was the ability +and patience to instruct the boys in gardening and simple outdoor +work; that I wished a man of large sympathies whose example would +be an inspiring influence to these children of the city streets. + +Sterry, pacing about like a caged woodchuck, launched into a +tirade about silly Sunday-school notions, and, by a transition +which I did not grasp, passed to a review of the general subject +of woman's suffrage. I gathered that he is not in favor of the +movement. I let him argue himself quiet, then I handed him a +check for his wages, and told him to vacate the tenant house by +twelve o'clock next Wednesday. + +Sterry says he'll be danged if he will. (Excuse so many +DANGEDS. It is the creature's only adjective.) He was engaged +to work for this institution by the president of the board of +trustees, and he will not move from that house until the +president of the board of trustees tells him to go. I don't +think poor Sterry realizes that since his arrival a new president +has come to the throne. + +ALORS you have the story. I make no threats, but Sterry or +McBride--take your choice, dear sir. + +I am also about to write to the head of the Massachusetts +Agricultural College, at Amherst, asking him to recommend a good, +practical man with a nice, efficient, cheerful wife, who will +take the entire care of our modest domain of seventeen acres, and +who will be a man with the right personality to place over our +boys. + +If we get the farming end of this institution into running +shape, it ought to furnish not only beans and onions for the +table, but education for our hands and brains. + + +I remain, sir, + Yours most truly, + S. McBRIDE, + Superintendent of the John Grier Home. + +P.S. I think that Sterry will probably come back some night and +throw rocks through the windows. Shall I have them insured? + + + +My dear Enemy: + +You disappeared so quickly this afternoon that I had no chance to +thank you, but the echoes of that discharge penetrated as far as +my library. Also, I have viewed the debris. What on earth did +you do to poor Sterry? Watching the purposeful set of your +shoulders as you strode toward the carriage house, I was filled +with sudden compunction. I did not want the man murdered, merely +reasoned with. I am afraid you were a little harsh. + +However, your technic seems to have been effective. Report +says that he has telephoned for a moving wagon and that Mrs. +Sterry is even now on her hands and knees ripping up the parlor +carpet. + +For this relief much thanks. + + SALLIE McBRIDE. + + + + April 26. +Dear Jervis: + +Your vigorous telegram was, after all, not needed. Dr. Robin +MacRae, who is a grand PAWKY mon when it comes to a fight, +accomplished the business with beautiful directness. I was so +bubbling with rage that immediately after writing to you I called +up the doctor on the telephone, and rehearsed the whole business +over again. Now, our Sandy, whatever his failings (and he has +them), does have an uncommon supply of common sense. He knows +how useful those gardens are going to be, and how worse than +useless Sterry was. Also says he, "The superintendent's +authority must be upheld." (That, incidentally, is beautiful, +coming from him.) But anyway, those were his words. And he hung +up the receiver, cranked up his car, and flew up here at lawless +speed. He marched straight to Sterry, impelled by a fine Scotch +rage, and he discharged the man with such vigor and precision, +that the carriage house window was shattered to fragments. + +Since this morning at eleven, when Sterry's wagonload of +furniture rumbled out of the gates, a sweet peace has reigned +over the J. G. H. A man from the village is helping us out while +we hopefully await the farmer of our dreams. + +I am sorry to have troubled you with our troubles. Tell Judy +that she owes me a letter, and won't hear from until she has paid +it. + Your ob'd't servant, + + S. McBRIDE. + + +Dear Judy: + +In my letter of yesterday to Jervis I forgotted (Punch's word) to +convey to you our thanks for three tin bathtubs. The skyblue tub +with poppies on the side adds a particularly bright note to the +nursery. I do love presents for the babies that are too big to +be swallowed. + +You will be pleased to hear that our manual training is well +under way. The carpenter benches are being installed in the old +primary room, and until our schoolhouse gets its new addition, +our primary class is meeting on the front porch, in accordance +with Miss Matthew's able suggestion. + +The girls' sewing classes are also in progress. A circle of +benches under the copper beech tree accommodates the hand +sewers, while the big girls take turns at our three machines. +Just as soon as they gain some proficiency we will begin the +glorious work of redressing the institution. I know you think +I'm slow, but it's really a task to accomplish one hundred and +eighty new frocks. And the girls will appreciate them so much +more if they do the work themselves. + +I may also report that our hygiene system has risen to a high +level. Dr. MacRae has introduced morning and evening exercises, +and a glass of milk and a game of tag in the middle of school +hours. He has instituted a physiology class, and has separated +the children into small groups, so that they may come to his +house, where he has a manikin that comes apart and shows all its +messy insides. They can now rattle off scientific truths about +their little digestions as fluently as Mother Goose rhymes. We +are really becoming too intelligent for recognition. You would +never guess that we were orphans to hear us talk; we are quite +like Boston children. + +2 P.M. + + +O Judy, such a calamity! Do you remember several weeks ago I +told you about placing out a nice little girl in a nice family +home where I hoped she would be adopted? It was a kind Christian +family living in a pleasant country village, the foster-father a +deacon in the church. Hattie was a sweet, obedient, housewifely +little body, and it looked as though we had exactly fitted them +to each other. My dear, she was returned this morning for +STEALING. Scandal piled on scandal: SHE HAD STOLEN A COMMUNION +CUP FROM CHURCH! + +Between her sobs and their accusations it took me half an +hour to gather the truth. It seems that the church they attend +is very modern and hygienic, like our doctor, and has introduced +individual communion cups. Poor little Hattie had never heard of +communion in her life. In fact, she wasn't very used to church, +Sunday-school having always sufficed for her simple religious +needs. But in her new home she attended both, and one day, to +her pleased surprise, they served refreshments. But they skipped +her. She made no comment, however; she is used to being skipped. + +But as they were starting home she saw that the little silver cup +had been casually left in the seat, and supposing that it was a +souvenir that you could take if you wished, she put it into her +pocket. + +It came to light two days later as the most treasured +ornament of her doll's-house. It seems that Hattie long ago saw +a set of doll's dishes in a toy shop window, and has ever since +dreamed of possessing a set of her own. The communion cup was +not quite the same, but it answered. Now, if our family had only +had a little less religion and a little more sense, they would +have returned the cup, perfectly unharmed, and have marched +Hattie to the nearest toy shop and bought her some dishes. But +instead, they bundled the child and her belongings into the first +train they could catch, and shoved her in at our front door, +proclaiming loudly that she was a thief. + +I am pleased to say that I gave that indignant deacon and his +wife such a thorough scolding as I am sure they have never +listened to from the pulpit. I borrowed some vigorous bits from +Sandy's vocabulary, and sent them home quite humbled. As for +poor little Hattie, here she is back again, after going out with +such high hopes. It has an awfully bad moral effect on a child +to be returned to the asylum in disgrace, especially when she +wasn't aware of committing a crime. It gives her a feeling that +the world is full of unknown pitfalls, and makes her afraid to +take a step. I must bend all my energies now toward finding +another set of parents for her, and ones that haven't grown so +old and settled and good that they have entirely forgotten their +own childhood. + + Sunday. + + +I forgot to tell you that our new farmer is here, Turnfelt by +name; and his wife is a love, yellow hair and dimples. If she +were an orphan, I could place her in a minute. We can't let her +go to waste. I have a beautiful plan of building an addition to +the farmer's cottage, and establishing under her comfortable care +a sort of brooding-house where we can place our new little +chicks, to make sure they haven't anything contagious and to +eliminate as much profanity as possible before turning them loose +among our other perfect chicks. + +How does that strike you? It is very necessary in an +institution as full of noise and movement and stir as this to +have some isolated spot where we can put cases needing individual +attention. Some of our children have inherited nerves, and a +period of quiet contemplation is indicated. Isn't my vocabulary +professional and scientific? Daily intercourse with Dr. Robin +MacRae is extremely educational. + +Since Turnfelt came, you should see our pigs. They are so +clean and pink and unnatural that they don't recognize one +another any more as they pass. + +Our potato field is also unrecognizable. It has been divided +with string and pegs into as many squares as a checker-board, +and every child has staked out a claim. Seed catalogues form our +only reading matter. + +Noah has just returned from a trip to the village for the +Sunday papers to amuse his leisure. Noah is a very cultivated +person; he not only reads perfectly, but he wears tortoise-shell- +rimmed spectacles while he does it. He also brought from the +post office a letter from you, written Friday night. I am pained +to note that you do not care for "Gosta Berling" and that Jervis +doesn't. The only comment I can make is, "What a shocking lack +of literary taste in the Pendleton family!" + +Dr. MacRae has another doctor visiting him, a very melancholy +gentleman who is at the head of a private psychopathic +institution, and thinks there's no good in life. But I suppose +this pessimistic view is natural if you eat three meals a day +with a tableful of melancholics. He goes up and down the world +looking for signs of degeneracy, and finds them everywhere. I +expected, after half an hour's conversation, that he would ask to +look down my throat to see if I had a cleft palate. Sandy's +taste in friends seems to resemble his taste in literature. +Gracious! this is a letter! + + Good-by. + + SALLIE. + + + Thursday, May 2. +Dear Judy: + +Such a bewildering whirl of events! The J. G. H. is breathless. +Incidentally, I am on the way toward solving my problem of what +to do with the children while the carpenters and plumbers and +masons are here. Or, rather, my precious brother has solved it +for me. + +This afternoon I went over my linen supply, and made the +shocking discovery that we have only sheets enough to change the +children's beds every two weeks, which, it appears, is our +shiftless custom. While I was still in the midst of my household +gear, with a bunch of keys at my girdle, looking like the +chatelaine of a medieval chateau, who should be ushered in but +Jimmie? + +Being extremely occupied, I dropped a slanting kiss on his +nose, and sent him off to look over the place in charge of my two +oldest urchins. They collected six friends and organized a +baseball game. Jimmie came back blown, but enthusiastic, and +consented to prolong his visit over the week end, though after +the dinner I gave him he has decided to take his future meals at +the hotel. As we sat with our coffee before the fire, I confided +to him my anxiety as to what should be done with the chicks while +their new brooder is building. You know Jimmie. In one half a +minute his plan was formulated. + +"Build an Adirondack camp on that little plateau up by the +wood lot. You can make three open shacks, each holding eight +bunks, and move the twenty-four oldest boys out there for the +summer. It won't cost two cents." + +"Yes," I objected, "but it will cost more than two cents to +engage a man to look after them." + +"Perfectly easy," said Jimmie, grandly. "I'll find you a +college fellow who'll be glad to come during the vacation for his +board and a mere pittance, only you'll have to set up more +filling board than you gave me tonight." + +Dr. MacRae dropped in about nine o'clock, after visiting the +hospital ward. We've got three cases of whooping cough, but all +isolated, and no more coming. How those three got in is a +mystery. It seems there is a little bird that brings whooping +cough to orphan asylums. + +Jimmie fell upon him for backing in his camp scheme, and the +doctor gave it enthusiastically. They seized pencil and +paper and drew up plans. And before the evening was over, the +last nail was hammered. Nothing would satisfy those two men but +to go to the telephone at ten o'clock and rouse a poor carpenter +from his sleep. He and some lumber are ordered for eight in the +morning. + +I finally got rid of them at ten-thirty, still talking +uprights and joists and drainage and roof slants. + +The excitement of Jimmie and coffee and all these building +operations induced me to sit down immediately and write a letter +to you; but I think, by your leave, I'll postpone further details +to another time. + Yours ever, + + SALLIE. + + + Saturday. +Dear Enemy: + +Will you be after dining with us at seven tonight? It's a real +dinner party; we're going to have ice-cream. + +My brother has discovered a promising young man to take +charge of the boys,--maybe you know him,--Mr. Witherspoon, at the +bank. I wish to introduce him to asylum circles by easy steps, +so PLEASE don't mention insanity or epilepsy or alcoholism or any +of your other favorite topics. + +He is a gay young society leader, used to very fancy things +to eat. Do you suppose we can ever make him happy at the John +Grier Home? + Yours in evident haste, + + SALLIE McBRIDE. + + + Sunday. + +Dear Judy: + +Jimmie was back at eight Friday morning, and the doctor at a +quarter past. They and the carpenter and our new farmer and Noah +and our two horses and our eight biggest boys have been working +ever since. Never were building operations set going in faster +time. I wish I had a dozen Jimmies on the place, though I will +say that my brother works faster if you catch him before the +first edge of his enthusiasm wears away. He would not be much +good at chiseling out a medieval cathedral. + +He came back Saturday morning aglow with a new idea. He had +met at the hotel the night before a friend who belongs to his +hunting club in Canada, and who is cashier of our First (and +only) National Bank. + +"He's a bully good sport," said Jimmie, "and exactly the man +you want to camp out with those kids and lick 'em into shape. +He'll be willing to come for his board and forty dollars a month, +because he's engaged to a girl in Detroit and wants to save. I +told him the food was rotten, but if he kicked enough, you'd +probably get a new cook." + +"What's his name?" said I, with guarded interest. + +"He's got a peach of a name. It's Percy de Forest +Witherspoon." + +I nearly had hysterics. Imagine a Percy de Forest +Witherspoon in charge of those twenty-four wild little savages! + +But you know Jimmie when he has an idea. He had already +invited Mr. Witherspoon to dine with me on Saturday evening, and +had ordered oysters and squabs and ice-cream from the village +caterer to help out my veal. It ended by my giving a very +formal dinner party, with Miss Matthews and Betsy and the doctor +included. + +I almost asked the Hon. Cy and Miss Snaith. Ever since I +have known those two, I have felt that there ought to be a +romance between them. Never have I known two people who matched +so perfectly. He's a widower with five children. Don't you +suppose it might be arranged? If he had a wife to take up his +attention, it might deflect him a little from us. I'd be getting +rid of them both at one stroke. It's to be considered among our +future improvements. + +Anyway, we had our dinner. And during the course of the +evening my anxiety grew, not as to whether Percy would do for us, +but as to whether we should do for Percy. If I searched the +world over, I never could find a young man more calculated to win +the affection of those boys. You know, just by looking at him, +that he does everything well, at least everything vigorous. His +literary and artistic accomplishments I suspect a bit, but he +rides and shoots and plays golf and football and sails a boat. +He likes to sleep out of doors and he likes boys. He has always +wanted to know some orphans; often read about 'em in books, he +says, but never met any face to face. Percy does seem too good +to be true. + +Before they left, Jimmie and the doctor hunted up a lantern, +and in their evening clothes conducted Mr. Witherspoon across a +plowed field to inspect his future dwelling. + +And such a Sunday as we passed! I had absolutely to forbid +their carpentering. Those men would have put in a full day, +quite irrespective of the damage done to one hundred and four +little moral natures. As it is, they have just stood and looked +at those shacks and handled their hammers, and thought about +where they would drive the first nail tomorrow morning. The more +I study men, the more I realize that they are nothing in the +world but boys grown too big to be spankable. + +I am awfully worried as to how to feed Mr. Witherspoon. +He looks as though he had a frightfully healthy appetite, and +he looks as though he couldn't swallow his dinner unless he had +on evening clothes. I've made Betsy send home for a trunkful of +evening gowns in order to keep up our social standing. One thing +is fortunate: he takes his luncheon at the hotel, and I hear +their luncheons are very filling. + +Tell Jervis I am sorry he is not with us to drive a nail for +the camp. Here comes the Hon. Cy up the path. Heaven save us! + + Ever your unfortunate, + + S. McB. + + + THE JOHN GRIER HOME, + + May 8. +Dear Judy: + +Our camp is finished, our energetic brother has gone, and our +twenty-four boys have passed two healthful nights in the open. +The three bark-covered shacks add a pleasant rustic touch to the +grounds. They are like those we used to have in the Adirondacks, +closed on three sides and open in the front, and one larger than +the rest to allow a private pavilion for Mr. Percy Witherspoon. +An adjacent hut, less exposed to the weather, affords extremely +adequate bathing facilities, consisting of a faucet in the wall +and three watering-cans. Each camp has a bath master who stands +on a stool and sprinkles each little shiverer as he trots under. +Since our trustees WON'T give us enough bathtubs, we have to use +our wits. + +The three camps have organized into three tribes of Indians, +each with a chief of its own to answer for its conduct, Mr. +Witherspoon high chief of all, and Dr. MacRae the medicine +man. They dedicated their lodges Tuesday evening with +appropriate tribal ceremonies. And though they politely invited +me to attend, I decided that it was a purely masculine affair, so +I declined to go, but sent refreshments, a very popular move. +Betsy and I walked as far as the baseball field in the course of +the evening, and caught a glimpse of the orgies. The braves were +squatting in a circle about a big fire, each decorated with a +blanket from his bed and a rakish band of feathers. (Our +chickens seem very scant as to tail, but I have asked no +unpleasant questions.) The doctor, with a Navajo blanket about +his shoulders, was executing a war dance, while Jimmie and Mr. +Witherspoon beat on war drums--two of our copper kettles, now +permanently dented. Fancy Sandy! It's the first youthful +glimmer I have ever caught in the man. + +After ten o'clock, when the braves were safely stowed for the +night, the three men came in and limply dropped into comfortable +chairs in my library, with the air of having made martyrs of +themselves in the great cause of charity. But they did not +deceive me. They originated all that tomfoolery for their own +individual delectation. + +So far Mr. Percy Witherspoon appears fairly happy. He is +presiding at one end of the officers' table under the special +protection of Betsy, and I am told that he instills considerable +life into that sedate assemblage. I have endeavored to run up +their menu a trifle, and he accepts what is put before him with a +perfectly good appetite, irrespective of the absence of such +accustomed trifles as oysters and quail and soft-shell crabs. + +There was no sign of a private sitting room that I could put +at this young man's disposal, but he himself has solved the +difficulty by proposing to occupy our new laboratory. So he +spends his evenings with a book and a pipe, comfortably stretched +in the dentist's chair. There are not many society men who would +be willing to spend their evenings so harmlessly. That girl in +Detroit is a lucky young thing. + +Mercy! An automobile full of people has just arrived to look +over the institution, and Betsy, who usually does the honors, not +here. I fly. + + ADDIO! + + SALLIE. + + +My dear Gordon: + +This is not a letter,--I don't owe you one,--it's a receipt for +sixty-five pairs of roller skates. + + Many thanks. + + S. McB. + + + Friday. +Dear Enemy: + +I hear that I missed a call today, but Jane delivered your +message, together with the "Genetic Philosophy of Education." +She says that you will call in a few days for my opinion of the +book. Is it to be a written or an oral examination? + +And doesn't it ever occur to you that this education business +is rather one-sided? It often strikes me that Dr. Robin MacRae's +mental attitude would also be the better for some slight +refurbishing. I will promise to read your book, provided you +read one of mine. I am sending herewith the "Dolly Dialogues," +and shall ask for an opinion in a day or so. + +It's uphill work making a Scotch Presbyterian frivolous, but +persistency accomplishes wonders. + + S. McB. + + + May 12. +My dear, dear Judy: + +Talk about floods in Ohio! Right here in Dutchess County we are +the consistency of a wet sponge. Rain for five days, and +everything wrong with this institution. + +The babies have had croup, and we have been up o' nights with +them. Cook has given notice, and there's a dead rat in the +walls. Our three camps leaked, and in the early dawn, after the +first cloudburst, twenty-four bedraggled little Indians, wrapped +in damp bedding, came shivering to the door and begged for +admission. Since then every clothesline, every stair-railing has +been covered with wet and smelly blankets that steam, but won't +dry. Mr. Percy de Forest Witherspoon has returned to the hotel +to wait until the sun comes out. + +After being cooped up for four days with no exercise to +speak of, the children's badness is breaking out in red spots, +like the measles. Betsy and I have thought of every form of +active and innocent occupation that could be carried on in such a +congested quarter as this: blind man's buff and pillow fights and +hide-and-go-seek, gymnastics in the dining room, and bean-bags in +the school room. (We broke two windows.) The boys played +leapfrog up and down the hall, and jarred all the plaster in the +building. We have cleaned energetically and furiously. All the +woodwork has been washed, and all of the floors polished. But +despite everything, we have a great deal of energy left, and we +are getting to that point of nerves where we want to punch one +another. + +Sadie Kate has been acting like a little deil--do they have +feminine deils? If not, Sadie Kate has originated the species. +And this afternoon Loretta Higgins had--well, I don't know +whether it was a sort of fit or just a temper. She lay down on +the floor and howled for a solid hour, and when any one tried to +approach her, she thrashed about like a little windmill and bit +and kicked. + +By the time the doctor came she had pretty well worn herself +out. He picked her up, limp and drooping, and carried her to a +cot in the hospital room; and after she was asleep he came down +to my library and asked to look at the archives. + +Loretta is thirteen; in the three years she has been here she +has had five of these outbreaks, and has been punished good and +hard for them. The child's ancestral record is simple: "Mother +died of alcoholic dementia, Bloomingdale Asylum. Father +unknown." + +He studied the page long and frowningly and shook his head. + +"With a heredity like that, is it right to punish the child +for having a shattered nervous system?" + +"It is not," said I, firmly. "We will mend her shattered +nervous system." + +"If we can." + +"We'll feed her up on cod-liver oil and sunshine, and find a +nice kind foster mother who will take pity on the poor little--" + +But then my voice trailed off into nothing as I pictured +Loretta's face, with her hollow eyes and big nose and open mouth +and no chin and stringy hair and sticking-out ears. No foster +mother in the world would love a child who looked like that. + +"Why, oh, why," I wailed, "doesn't the good Lord send orphan +children with blue eyes and curly hair and loving dispositions? +I could place a million of that sort in kind homes, but no one +wants Loretta." + +"I'm afraid the good Lord doesn't have anything to do with +bringing our Lorettas into the world. It is the devil who +attends to them." + +Poor Sandy! He gets awfully pessimistic about the future of +the universe; but I don't wonder, with such a cheerless life as +he leads. He looked today as though his own nervous system was +shattered. He had been splashing about in the rain since five +this morning, when he was called to a sick baby case. I made him +sit down and have some tea, and we had a nice, cheerful talk on +drunkenness and idiocy and epilepsy and insanity. He dislikes +alcoholic parents, but he ties himself into a knot over insane +parents. + +Privately, I don't believe there's one thing in heredity, +provided you snatch the babies away before their eyes are opened. + +We've got the sunniest youngster here you ever saw; his mother +and Aunt Ruth and Uncle Silas all died insane, but he is as +placid and unexcitable as a cow. + +Good-by, my dear. I am sorry this is not a more cheerful +letter, though at this moment nothing unpleasant seems to be +happening. It's eleven o'clock, and I have just stuck my head +into the corridor, and all is quiet except for two banging +shutters and leaking eaves. I promised Jane I would go to +bed at ten. + Good night, and joy be wi' ye baith! + + SALLIE. + +P.S. There is one thing in the midst of all my troubles that I +have to be grateful for: the Hon. Cy has been stricken with a +lingering attack of grippe. In a burst of thankfulness I sent +him a bunch of violets. +P.S. 2. We are having an epidemic of pinkeye. + + + May 16. +Good morning, my dear Judy! + +Three days of sunshine, and the J. G. H. is smiling. + +I am getting my immediate troubles nicely settled. Those +beastly blankets have dried at last, and our camps have been made +livable again. They are floored with wooden slats and roofed +with tar paper. (Mr. Witherspoon calls them chicken coops.) We +are digging a stone-lined ditch to convey any further cloudbursts +from the plateau on which they stand to the cornfield below. The +Indians have resumed savage life, and their chief is back at his +post. + +The doctor and I have been giving Loretta Higgins's nerves +our most careful consideration. We think that this barrack life, +with its constant movement and stir, is too exciting, and we have +decided that the best plan will be to board her out in a private +family, where she will receive a great deal of individual +attention. + +The doctor, with his usual resourcefulness, has produced the +family. They live next door to him and are very nice people; I +have just returned from calling. The husband is foreman of the +casting room at the iron works, and the wife is a comfortable +soul who shakes all over when she laughs. They live mostly +in their kitchen in order to keep the parlor neat; but it is such +a cheerful kitchen that I should like to live in it myself. She +has potted begonias in the window and a nice purry tiger cat +asleep on a braided rug in front of the stove. She bakes on +Saturday--cookies and gingerbread and doughnuts. I am planning +to pay my weekly call upon Loretta every Saturday morning at +eleven o'clock. Apparently I made as favorable an impression on +Mrs. Wilson as she made on me. After I had gone, she confided to +the doctor that she liked me because I was just as common as she +was. + +Loretta is to learn housework and have a little garden of her +own, and particularly play out of doors in the sunshine. She is +to go to bed early and be fed up on nice nourishing food, and +they are to pet her and make her happy. All this for three +dollars a week! + +Why not find a hundred such families, and board out all the +children? Then this building could be turned into an idiot +asylum, and I, not knowing anything about idiots, could +conscientiously resign and go back home and live happily ever +after. + +Really, Judy, I am growing frightened. This asylum will get +me if I stay long enough. I am becoming so interested in it that +I can't think or talk or dream of anything else. You and Jervis +have blasted all my prospects in life. + +Suppose I should retire and marry and have a family. As +families go nowadays, I couldn't hope for more than five or six +children at the most, and all with the same heredity. But, +mercy! such a family appears perfectly insignificant and +monotonous. You have institutionalized me. + + Reproachfully yours, + + SALLIE McBRIDE. + +P.S. We have a child here whose father was lynched. Isn't that +a piquant detail to have in one's history? + + + Tuesday. +Dearest Judy: + +What shall we do? Mamie Prout does not like prunes. This +antipathy to a cheap and healthful foodstuff is nothing but +imagination, and ought not to be countenanced among the inmates +of a well-managed institution. Mamie must be made to like +prunes. So says our grammar teacher, who spends the noonday hour +with us and overlooks the morals of our charges. About one +o'clock today she marched Mamie to my office charged with the +offense of refusing, ABSOLUTELY refusing, to open her mouth and +put in a prune. The child was plumped down on a stool to await +punishment from me. + +Now, as you know, I do not like bananas, and I should hate +awfully to be forced to swallow them; so, by the same token, why +should I force Mamie Prout to swallow prunes? + +While I was pondering a course that would seem to uphold Miss +Keller's authority, but would at the same time leave a loophole +for Mamie, I was called to the telephone. + +"Sit there until I come back," I said, and went out and +closed the door. + +The message was from a kind lady wishing to motor me to a +committee meeting. I didn't tell you that I am organizing local +interest in our behalf. The idle rich who possess estates in +this neighborhood are beginning to drift out from town, and I am +laying my plans to catch them before they are deflected by too +many garden parties and tennis tournaments. They have never been +of the slightest use to this asylum, and I think it's about time +they woke up to a realization of our presence. + +Returning at teatime, I was waylaid in the hall by Dr. +MacRae, who demanded some statistics from my office. I +opened the door, and there sat Mamie Prout exactly where she had +been left four hours before. + +"Mamie darling!" I cried in horror. "You haven't been here +all this time?" + +"Yes, ma'am," said Mamie; "you told me to wait until you came +back." + +That poor patient little thing was fairly swaying with +weariness, but she never uttered a whimper. + +I will say for Sandy that he was SWEET. He gathered her up +in his arms and carried her to my library, and petted her and +caressed her back to smiles. Jane brought the sewing table and +spread it before the fire, and while the doctor and I had tea, +Mamie had her supper. I suppose, according to the theory of some +educators, now, when she was thoroughly worn out and hungry, +would have been the psychological moment to ply her with prunes. +But you will be pleased to hear that I did nothing of the sort, +and that the doctor for once upheld my unscientific principles. +Mamie had the most wonderful supper of her life, embellished +with strawberry jam from my private jar and peppermints from +Sandy's pocket. We returned her to her mates happy and +comforted, but still possessing that regrettable distaste for +prunes. + +Did you ever know anything more appalling than this soul- +crushing unreasoning obedience which Mrs. Lippett so insistently +fostered? It's the orphan asylum attitude toward life, and +somehow I must crush it out. Initiative, responsibility, +curiosity, inventiveness, fight--oh dear! I wish the doctor had +a serum for injecting all these useful virtues into an orphan's +circulation. + +LATER. + + +I wish you'd come back to New York. I've appointed you press +agent for this institution, and we need some of your floweriest +writing immediately. There are seven tots here crying to be +adopted, and it's your business to advertise them. + +Little Gertrude is cross-eyed, but dear and affectionate and +generous. Can't you write her up so persuasively that some +loving family will be willing to take her even if she isn't +beautiful? Her eyes can be operated on when she's older; but if +it were a cross disposition she had, no surgeon in the world +could remove that. The child knows there is something missing, +though she has never seen a live parent in her life. She holds +up her arms persuasively to every person who passes. Put in all +the pathos you are capable of, and see if you can't fetch her a +mother and father. + +Maybe you can get one of the New York papers to run a Sunday +feature article about a lot of different children. I'll send +some photographs. You remember what a lot of responses that +"Smiling Joe" picture brought for the Sea Breeze people? I can +furnish equally taking portraits of Laughing Lou and Gurgling +Gertrude and Kicking Karl if you will just add the literary +touch. + +And do find me some sports who are not afraid of heredity. +This wanting every child to come from one of the first families +of Virginia is getting tiresome. + + Yours, as usual, + + SALLIE. + + + Friday. +My dear, dear Judy: + +Such an upheaval! I've discharged the cook and the housekeeper, +and in delicate language conveyed the impression to our grammar +teacher that she needn't come back next year. But, oh, if I +could only discharge the Honorable Cy! + +I must tell you what happened this morning. Our trustee, who +has had a dangerous illness, is now dangerously well again, and +dropped in to pay a neighborly call. Punch was occupying a rug +on my library floor, virtuously engaged with building blocks. I +am separating him from the other kindergarten children, and +trying the Montessori method of a private rug and no nervous +distraction. I was flattering myself that it was working well; +his vocabulary of late has become almost prudish. + +After half an hour's desultory visit, the Hon. Cy rose to go. +As the door closed behind him (I am at least thankful the child +waited for that), Punch raised his appealing brown eyes to mine +and murmured, with a confiding smile: + +"Gee! ain't he got de hell of a mug?" + +If you know a kind Christian family where I can place out a +sweet little five-year boy, please communicate at once with + + S. McBRIDE, + + Sup't John Grier Home. + + + +Dear Pendletons: + +I've never known anything like you two snails. You've only just +reached Washington, and I have had my suitcase packed for days, +ready to spend a rejuvenating week end CHEZ VOUS. Please hurry! +I've languished in this asylum atmosphere as long as humanely +possible. I shall gasp and die if I don't get a change. + + Yours, + + on the point of suffocation, + + S. McB. + +P.S. Drop a card to Gordon Hallock, telling him you are there. +He will be charmed to put himself and the Capitol at your +disposal. I know that Jervis doesn't like him, but Jervis ought +to get over his baseless prejudices against politicians. Who +knows? I may be entering politics myself some day. + + +My dear Judy: + +We do receive the most amazing presents from our friends and +benefactors. Listen to this. Last week Mr. Wilton J. Leverett +(I quote from his card) ran over a broken bottle outside our +gate, and came in to visit the institution while his chauffeur +was mending the tire. Betsy showed him about. He took an +intelligent interest in everything he saw, particularly our new +camps. That is an exhibit which appeals to men. He ended +by removing his coat, and playing baseball with two tribes of +Indians. After an hour and a half he suddenly looked at his +watch, begged for a glass of water, and bowed himself off. + +We had entirely forgotten the episode until this afternoon, +when the expressman drove up to the door with a present for the +John Grier Home from the chemical laboratories of Wilton J. +Leverett. It was a barrel--well, anyway, a good sized keg--full +of liquid green soap! + +Did I tell you that the seeds for our garden came from +Washington? A polite present from Gordon Hallock and the U. S. +Government. As an example of what the past regime did not +accomplish, Martin Schladerwitz, who has spent three years on +this pseudo farm, knew no more than to dig a grave two feet deep +and bury his lettuce seeds! + +Oh, you can't imagine the number of fields in which we need +making over; but of course you, of all people, can imagine. +Little by little I am getting my eyes wide open, and things that +just looked funny to me at first, now--oh dear! It's very +disillusionizing. Every funny thing that comes up seems to have +a little tragedy wrapped inside it. + +Just at present we are paying anxious attention to our +manners--not orphan asylum manners, but dancing school manners. +There is to be nothing Uriah Heepish about our attitude toward +the world. The little girls make curtseys when they shake hands, +and the boys remove caps and rise when a lady stands, and push in +chairs at the table. (Tommy Woolsey shot Sadie Kate into her +soup yesterday, to the glee of all observers except Sadie, who is +an independent young damsel and doesn't care for these useless +masculine attentions.) At first the boys were inclined to jeer, +but after observing the politeness of their hero, Percy de Forest +Witherspoon, they have come up to the mark like little +gentlemen. + +Punch is paying a call this morning. For the last half-hour, +while I have been busily scratching away to you, he has been +established in the window seat, quietly and undestructively +engaged with colored pencils. Betsy, EN PASSANT, just dropped a +kiss upon his nose. + +"Aw, gwan!" said Punch, blushing quite pink, and wiping off +the caress with a fine show of masculine indifference. But I +notice he has resumed work upon his red-and-green landscape with +heightened ardor and an attempt at whistling. We'll succeed yet +in conquering that young man's temper. + + + Tuesday. + + +The doctor is in a very grumbly mood today. He called just +as the children were marching in to dinner, whereupon he marched, +too, and sampled their food, and, oh, my dear! the potatoes were +scorched! And such a clishmaclaver as that man made! It is the +first time the potatoes ever have been scorched, and you know +that scorching sometimes happens in the best of families. But +you would think from Sandy's language that the cook had scorched +them on purpose, in accordance with my orders. + +As I have told you before, I could do very nicely without +Sandy. + + + Wednesday. + + +Yesterday being a wonderful sunny day, Betsy and I turned our +backs upon duty and motored to the very fancy home of some +friends of hers, where we had tea in an Italian garden. Punch +and Sadie Kate had been SUCH good children all day that at the +last moment we telephoned for permission to include them, too. + +"Yes, indeed, do bring the little dears," was the +enthusiastic response. + +But the choice of Punch and Sadie Kate was a mistake. We +ought to have taken Mamie Prout, who has demonstrated her ability +to sit. I shall spare you the details of our visit; the climax +was reached when Punch went goldfishing in the bottom of the +swimming pool. Our host pulled him out by an agitated leg, and +the child returned to the asylum swathed in that gentleman's +rose-colored bathrobe. + +What do you think? Dr. Robin MacRae, in a contrite mood for +having been so intensely disagreeable yesterday, has just invited +Betsy and me to take supper in his olive-green house next Sunday +evening at seven o'clock in order to look at some +microscopic slides. The entertainment, I believe, is to consist +of a scarlet-fever culture, some alcoholic tissue, and a +tubercular gland. These social attentions bore him excessively; +but he realizes that if he is to have free scope in applying his +theories to the institution he must be a little polite to its +superintendent. + +I have just read this letter over, and I must admit that it +skips lightly from topic to topic. But though it may not contain +news of any great moment, I trust you will realize that its +writing has consumed every vacant minute during the last three +days. + I am, + + Most fully occupied, + + SALLIE McBRIDE. + +P.S. A blessed woman came this morning and said she would take a +child for the summer--one of the sickest, weakest, neediest +babies I could give her. She had just lost her husband, and +wanted something HARD to do. Isn't that really very touching? + + + Saturday afternoon. +Dear Judy and Jervis: + +Brother Jimmie (we are very alliterative!), spurred on by sundry +begging letters from me, has at last sent us a present; but he +picked it out himself. + +WE HAVE A MONKEY! His name is Java. +The children no longer hear the school bell ring. On the day the +creature came, this entire institution formed in line and filed +past and shook his paw. Poor Sing's nose is out of joint. I +have to PAY to have him washed. + +Sadie Kate is developing into my private secretary. I have +her answer the thank-you letters for the institution, and her +literary style is making a hit among our benefactors. She +invariably calls out a second gift. I had hitherto believed that +the Kilcoyne family sprang from the wild west of Ireland, but I +begin to suspect that their source was nearer Blarney Castle. +You can see from the inclosed copy of the letter she sent to +Jimmie what a persuasive pen the young person has. I trust that +in this case at least, it will not bear the fruit that she +suggests. + + +Dear Mr. Jimie + +We thank you very much for the lovly monkey you give. We name +him java because that's a warm iland across the ocian where he +was born up in a nest like a bird only big the doctor told us. + +The first day he come every boy and girl shook his hand and +said good morning java his hand feels funny he holds so tite. I +was afraid to touch him but now I let him sit on my shoulder and +put his arms around my kneck if he wants to. He makes a funny +noise that sounds like swering and gets mad when his tale is +puled. + +We love him dearly and we love you two. + +The next time you have to give a present, please send an +elifant. Well I guess Ill stop. + + Yours truly, + + SADIE KATE KILCOYNE. + + + +Percy de Forest Witherspoon is still faithful to his little +followers, though I am so afraid he will get tired that I urge +him to take frequent vacations. He has not only been faithful +himself, but has brought in recruits. He has large social +connections in the neighborhood, and last Saturday evening he +introduced two friends, nice men who sat around the campfire and +swapped hunting stories. + +One of them was just back from around the world, and told +hair-raising anecdotes of the head hunters of Sarawak, a narrow +pink country on the top of Borneo. My little braves pant to grow +up and get to Sarawak, and go out on the war-path after head +hunters. Every encyclopedia in this institution has been +consulted, and there isn't a boy here who cannot tell you the +history, manners, climate, flora, and fungi of Borneo. I only +wish Mr. Witherspoon would introduce friends who had been head +hunting in England, France, and Germany, countries not quite so +CHIC as Sarawak, but more useful for general culture. + +We have a new cook, the fourth since my reign began. I +haven't bothered you with my cooking troubles, but institutions +don't escape any more than families. The last is a negro woman, +a big, fat, smiling, chocolate-colored creature from Souf +Ca'lina. And ever since she came on honey dew we've fed! Her +name is--what do you guess? SALLIE, if you please. I suggested +that she change it. + +"Sho, Miss, I's had dat name Sallie longer'n you, an' I +couldn't get used nohow to answerin' up pert-like when you sings +out `Mollie!' Seems like Sallie jest b'longs to me." + +So "Sallie" she remains; but at least there is no danger of +our getting our letters mixed, for her last name is nothing so +plebeian as McBride. It's Johnston-Washington, with a hyphen. + + Sunday. + + +Our favorite game of late is finding pet names for Sandy. +His austere presence lends itself to caricature. We have just +originated a new batch. The "Laird o' Cockpen" is Percy's +choice. + + The Laird o' Cockpen he's proud and he's great; + His mind is ta'en up wi' the things of the state. + +Miss Snaith disgustedly calls him "that man," and Betsy refers to +him (in his absence) as "Dr. Cod-Liver." My present favorite is +"Macphairson Clon Glocketty Angus McClan." But for real poetic +feeling, Sadie Kate beats us all. She calls him "Mister Someday +Soon." I don't believe that the doctor ever dropped into verse +but once in his life, but every child in this institution knows +that one poem by heart. + +Someday soon something nice is going to happen; + +Be a good little girl and take this hint: +Swallow with a smile your cod-liver ile, + +And the first thing you know you will have a peppermint. + + +It's this evening that Betsy and I attend his supper party, +and I confess that we are looking forward to seeing the interior +of his gloomy mansion with gleeful eagerness. He never talks +about himself or his past or anybody connected with himself. He +appears to be an isolated figure standing on a pedestal labeled +S C I E N C E, without a glimmer of any ordinary affections or +emotions or human frailties except temper. Betsy and I are +simply eaten up with curiosity to know what sort of past he came +out of; but just let us get inside his house, and to our +detective senses it will tell its own story. So long as the +portal was guarded by a fierce McGurk, we had despaired of ever +effecting an entrance; but now, behold! The door has opened of +its own accord. + + To be continued. + + S. McB. + + + Monday. +Dear Judy: + +We attended the doctor's supper party last night, Betsy and Mr. +Witherspoon and I. It turned out a passably cheerful occasion, +though I will say that it began under heavy auspices. + +His house on the inside is all that the outside promises. +Never in my life have I seen such an interior as that man's +dining room. The walls and carpets and lambrequins are a heavy +dark green. A black marble mantelpiece shelters a few smoking +black coals. The furniture is as nearly black as furniture +comes. The decorations are two steel engravings in shiny black +frames--the "Monarch of the Glen," and the "Stag at Bay." + +We tried hard to be light and sparkling, but it was like +eating supper in the family vault. Mrs. McGurk, in black alpaca +with a black silk apron, clumped around the table, passing cold, +heavy things to eat, with a step so firm that she rattled the +silver in the sideboard drawers. Her nose was up, and her mouth +was down. She clearly does not approve of the master's +entertaining, and she wishes to discourage all guests from ever +accepting again. + +Sandy sort of dimly knows that there is something the matter +with his house, and in order to brighten it up a bit in honor of +his guests, he had purchased flowers,--dozens of them,--the most +exquisite pink Killarney roses and red and yellow tulips. The +McGurk had wedged them all together as tight as they would fit +into a peacock-blue jardiniere, and plumped it down in the center +of the table. The thing was as big as a bushel-basket. +Betsy and I nearly forgot our manners when we saw that +centerpiece; but the doctor seemed so innocently pleased at +having obtained a bright note in his dining room that we +suppressed our amusement and complimented him warmly upon his +happy color scheme. + +The moment supper was over, we hastened with relief to his +own part of the house, where the McGurk's influence does not +penetrate. No one in a cleaning capacity ever enters either his +library or office or laboratory except Llewelyn, a short, wiry, +bow-legged Welshman, who combines to a unique degree the +qualities of chambermaid and chauffeur. + +The library, though not the most cheerful room I have ever +seen, still, for a man's house, is not so bad--books all around +from floor to ceiling, with the overflow in piles on floor and +table and mantelpiece; half a dozen abysmal leather chairs and a +rug or so, with another black marble mantelpiece, but this time +containing a crackling wood fire. By way of bric-a-brac, he has +a stuffed pelican and a crane with a frog in its mouth, also a +raccoon sitting on a log, and a varnished tarpon. A faint +suggestion of iodoform floats in the air. + +The doctor made the coffee himself in a French machine, and +we dismissed his housekeeper from our spirits. He really did do +his best to be a thoughtful host and I have to report that the +word "insanity" was not once mentioned. It seems that Sandy, in +his moments of relaxation, is a fisherman. He and Percy began +swapping stories of salmon and trout, and he finally got out his +case of fishing flies, and gallantly presented Betsy and me with +a "silver doctor" and a "Jack Scott" out of which to make +hatpins. Then the conversation wandered to sport on the Scotch +moors, and he told about one time when he was lost, and spent the +night out in the heather. There is no doubt about it, Sandy's +heart is in the highlands. + +I am afraid that Betsy and I have wronged him. Though +it is hard to relinquish the interesting idea, he may not, +after all, have committed a crime. We are now leaning to the +belief that he was crossed in love. + +It's really horrid of me to make fun of poor Sandy, for, +despite his stern bleakness of disposition, he's a pathetic +figure of a man. Think of coming home after an anxious day's +round to eat a solitary dinner in that grim dining room! + +Do you suppose it would cheer him up a little if I should +send my company of artists to paint a frieze of rabbits around +the wall? + + With love, as usual, + + SALLIE. + + +Dear Judy: + +Aren't you ever coming back to New York? Please hurry! I need a +new hat, and am desirous of shopping for it on Fifth Avenue, not +on Water Street. Mrs. Gruby, our best milliner, does not believe +in slavishly following Paris Fashions; she originates her own +styles. But three years ago, as a great concession to +convention, she did make a tour of the New York shops, and is +still creating models on the uplift of that visit. + +Also, besides my own hat, I must buy 113 hats for my +children, to say nothing of shoes and knickerbockers and shirts +and hair-ribbons and stockings and garters. It's quite a task to +keep a little family like mine decently clothed. + +Did you get that big letter I wrote you last week? You never +had the grace to mention it in yours of Thursday, and it was +seventeen pages long, and took me DAYS to write. + + Yours truly, + + S. McBRIDE. + +P.S. Why don't you tell me some news about Gordon? Have you +seen him, and did he mention me? Is he running after any of +those pretty Southern girls that Washington is so full of? You +know that I want to hear. Why must you be so beastly +uncommunicative? + + + Tuesday, 4:27 P.M. +Dear Judy: + +Your telegram came two minutes ago by telephone. + +Yes, thank you, I shall be delighted to arrive at 5:49 on +Thursday afternoon. And don't make any engagements for that +evening, please, as I intend to sit up until midnight talking +John Grier gossip with you and the president. + +Friday and Saturday and Monday I shall have to devote to +shopping. Oh, yes, you're right; I already possess more clothes +than any jailbird needs, but when spring comes, I must have new +plumage. As it is, I wear an evening gown every night just to +wear them out--no, not entirely that; to make myself believe that +I'm still an ordinary girl despite this extraordinary life that +you have pushed me into. + +The Hon. Cy found me yesterday arrayed in a Nile-green crepe +(Jane's creation, though it looked Parisian). He was quite +puzzled when he found I wasn't going to a ball. I invited him to +stay and dine with me, and he accepted! We got on very affably. +He expands over his dinner. Food appears to agree with him. If +there's any Bernard Shaw in New York just now, I believe that I +might spare a couple of hours Saturday afternoon for a matinee. +G. B. S.'s dialogue would afford such a life-giving contrast to +the Hon. Cy's. + +There's no use writing any more; I'll wait and talk. + + ADDIO. + + SALLIE. + +P.S. Oh dear! just as I had begun to catch glimmerings of +niceness in Sandy, he broke out again and was ABOMINABLE. We +unfortunately have five cases of measles in this institution, and +the man's manner suggests that Miss Snaith and I gave the measles +to the children on purpose to make him trouble. There are many +days when I should be willing to accept our doctor's resignation. + + + Wednesday. +Dear Enemy: + +Your brief and dignified note of yesterday is at hand. I have +never known anybody whose literary style resembled so exactly his +spoken word. + +And you will be greatly obliged if I will drop my absurd +fashion of calling you "Enemy"? I will drop my absurd fashion of +calling you Enemy just as soon as you drop your absurd fashion of +getting angry and abusive and insulting the moment any little +thing goes wrong. + +I am leaving tomorrow afternoon to spend four days in New +York. + + Yours truly, + + S. McBRIDE. + + + CHEZ THE PENDLETONS, New York. +My dear Enemy: + +I trust that this note will find you in a more affable frame of +mind than when I saw you last. I emphatically repeat that it was +not due to the carelessness of the superintendent of our +institution that those two new cases of measles crept in, but +rather to the unfortunate anatomy of our old-fashioned building, +which does not permit of the proper isolation of contagious +cases. + +As you did not deign to visit us yesterday morning before I +left, I could not offer any parting suggestions. I therefore +write to ask that you cast your critical eye upon Mamie Prout. +She is covered all over with little red spots which may be +measles, though I am hoping not. Mamie spots very easily. + +I return to prison life next Monday at six o'clock. + + Yours truly, + + S. McBRIDE. + +P.S. I trust you will pardon my mentioning it, but you are not +the kind of doctor that I admire. I like them chubby and round +and smiling. + + + THE JOHN GRIER HOME, + + June 9. +Dear Judy: + +You are an awful family for an impressionable young girl to +visit. How can you expect me to come back and settle down +contentedly to institution life after witnessing such a happy +picture of domestic concord as the Pendleton household +presents? + +All the way back in the train, instead of occupying myself +with two novels, four magazines, and one box of chocolates that +your husband thoughtfully provided, I spent the time in a mental +review of the young men of my acquaintance to see if I couldn't +discover one as nice as Jervis. I did! (A little nicer, I +think.) From this day on he is the marked-down victim, the +destined prey. + +I shall hate to give up the asylum after getting so excited +over it, but unless you are willing to move it to the capital, I +don't see any alternative. + +The train was awfully late. We sat and smoked on a siding +while two accommodations and a freight dashed past. I think we +must have broken something, and had to tinker up our engine. The +conductor was soothing, but uncommunicative. + +It was 7:30 when I descended, the only passenger, at our +insignificant station in the pitch darkness and RAIN, without an +umbrella, and wearing that precious new hat. No Turnfelt to meet +me; not even a station hack. To be sure, I hadn't telegraphed +the exact time of my arrival, but, still, I did feel rather +neglected. I had sort of vaguely expected all ONE HUNDRED AND +THIRTEEN to be drawn up by the platform, scattering flowers and +singing songs of welcome. Just as I was telling the station man +that I would watch his telegraph instrument while he ran across +to the corner saloon and telephoned for a vehicle, there came +whirling around the corner two big searchlights aimed straight at +me. They stopped nine inches before running me down, and I heard +Sandy's voice saying: + +"Weel, weel, Miss Sallie McBride! I'm thinking it's ower +time you came back to tak' the bit bairns off my hands." + +That man had come three times to meet me on the off chance of +the train's getting in some time. He tucked me and my new hat +and bags and books and chocolates all in under his waterproof +flap, and we splashed off. Really, I felt as if I was getting +back home again, and quite sad at the thought of ever having +to leave. Mentally, you see, I had already resigned and packed +and gone. The mere idea that you are not in a place for the rest +of your life gives you an awfully unstable feeling. That's why +trial marriages would never work. You've got to feel you're in a +thing irrevocably and forever in order to buckle down and really +put your whole mind into making it a success. + +It's astounding how much news can accrue in four days. Sandy +just couldn't talk fast enough to tell me everything I wanted to +hear. Among other items, I learned that Sadie Kate had spent two +days in the infirmary, her malady being, according to the +doctor's diagnosis, half a jar of gooseberry jam and Heaven knows +how many doughnuts. Her work had been changed during my absence +to dishwashing in the officers' pantry, and the juxtaposition of +so many exotic luxuries was too much for her fragile virtue. + +Also, our colored cook Sallie and our colored useful man Noah +have entered upon a war of extermination. The original trouble +was over a little matter of kindling, augmented by a pail of hot +water that Sallie threw out of the window with, for a woman, +unusual accuracy of aim. You can see what a rare character the +head of an orphan asylum must have. She has to combine the +qualities of a baby nurse and a police magistrate. + +The doctor had told only the half when we reached the house, +and as he had not yet dined, owing to meeting me three times, I +begged him to accept the hospitality of the John Grier. I would +get Betsy and Mr. Witherspoon, and we would hold an executive +meeting, and settle all our neglected businesses. + +Sandy accepted with flattering promptness. He likes to dine +outside of the family vault. + +But Betsy, I found, had dashed home to greet a visiting +grandparent, and Percy was playing bridge in the village. It's +seldom the young thing gets out of an evening, and I'm glad for +him to have a little cheerful diversion. + +So it ended in the doctor's and my dining tete-a-tete on a +hastily improvised dinner,--it was then close upon eight, and our +normal dinner hour is 6:30,--but it was such an improvised dinner +as I am sure Mrs. McGurk never served him. Sallie, wishing to +impress me with her invaluableness, did her absolutely Southern +best. And after dinner we had coffee before the fire in my +comfortable blue library, while the wind howled outside and the +shutters banged. + +We passed a most cordial and intimate evening. For the first +time since our acquaintance I struck a new note in the man. +There really is something attractive about him when you once come +to know him. But the process of knowing him requires time and +tact. He's no' very gleg at the uptak. I've never seen such a +tantalizing inexplicable person. All the time I'm talking to him +I feel as though behind his straight line of a mouth and his +half-shut eyes there were banked fires smoldering inside. Are +you sure he hasn't committed a crime? He does manage to convey +the delicious feeling that he has. + +And I must add that Sandy's not so bad a talker when he lets +himself go. He has the entire volume of Scotch literature at his +tongue's end. + +"Little kens the auld wife as she sits by the fire what the +wind is doing on Hurly-Burly-Swire," he observed as a specially +fierce blast drove the rain against the window. That sounds pat, +doesn't it? I haven't, though, the remotest idea what it means. +And listen to this: between cups of coffee (he drinks far too +much coffee for a sensible medical man) he casually let fall the +news that his family knew the R. L. S. family personally, and +used to take supper at 17 Heriot Row! I tended him assiduously +for the rest of the evening in a + Did you once see Shelley plain, + And did he stop and speak to you? +frame of mind. + +When I started this letter, I had no intention of filling it +with a description of the recently excavated charms of Robin +MacRae; it's just by way of remorseful apology. He was so nice +and companionable last night that I have been going about today +feeling conscience-smitten at the thought of how mercilessly I +made fun of him to you and Jervis. I really didn't mean quite +all of the impolite things that I said. About once a month the +man is sweet and tractable and engaging. + +Punch has just been paying a social call, and during the +course of it he lost three little toadlings an inch long. Sadie +Kate recovered one of them from under the bookcase, but the other +two hopped away; and I'm so afraid they've taken sanctuary in my +bed! I do wish that mice and snakes and toads and angleworms +were not so portable. You never know what is going on in a +perfectly respectable-looking child's pocket. + +I had a beautiful visit in Casa Pendleton. Don't forget your +promise to return it soon. + + Yours as ever, + + SALLIE. + +P.S. I left a pair of pale-blue bedroom slippers under the bed. +Will you please have Mary wrap them up and mail them to me? And +hold her hand while she writes the address. She spelt my name on +the place cards "Mackbird." + + + Tuesday. +Dear Enemy: + +As I told you, I left an application for an accomplished nurse +with the employment bureau of New York. + + +Wanted! A nurse maid with an ample lap suitable for the +accommodation of seventeen babies at once. + + +She came this afternoon, and this is the fine figure of a +woman that I drew! + +We couldn't keep a baby from sliding off her lap unless we +fastened him firmly with safety pins. + +Please give Sadie Kate the magazine. I'll read it tonight +and return it tomorrow. + +Was there ever a more docile and obedient pupil than + + S. McBRIDE? + + + Thursday. +My dear Judy: + +I've been spending the last three days busily getting under way +all those latest innovations that we planned in New York. Your +word is law. A public cooky jar has been established. + +Also, the eighty play boxes have been ordered. It is a +wonderful idea, having a private box for each child, where he can +store up his treasures. The ownership of a little personal +property will help develop them into responsible citizens. I +ought to have thought of it myself, but for some reason the idea +didn't come. Poor Judy! You have inside knowledge of the +longings of their little hearts that I shall never be able to +achieve, not with all the sympathy I can muster. + +We are doing our best to run this institution with as few +discommoding rules as possible, but in regard to those play boxes +there is one point on which I shall have to be firm. The +children may not keep in them mice or toads or angleworms. + +I can't tell you how pleased I am that Betsy's salary is to +be raised, and that we are to keep her permanently. But the Hon. +Cy Wykoff deprecates the step. He has been making inquiries, and +he finds that her people are perfectly able to take care of her +without any salary. + +"You don't furnish legal advice for nothing," say I to him. +"Why should she furnish her trained services for nothing?" + +"This is charitable work." + +"Then work which is undertaken for your own good should be +paid, but work which is undertaken for the public good should not +be paid?" + +"Fiddlesticks!" says he. "She's a woman, and her family +ought to support her." + +This opened up vistas of argument which I did not care to +enter with the Hon. Cy, so I asked him whether he thought it +would be nicer to have a real lawn or hay on the slope that leads +to the gate. He likes to be consulted, and I pamper him as much +as possible in all unessential details. You see, I am following +Sandy's canny advice: "Trustees are like fiddlestrings; they +maunna be screwed ower tight. Humor the mon, but gang your ain +gait." Oh, the tact that this asylum is teaching me! I should +make a wonderful politician's wife. + + Thursday night. + + +You will be interested to hear that I have temporarily placed +out Punch with two charming spinsters who have long been +tottering on the brink of a child. They finally came last week, +and said they would like to try one for a month to see what the +sensation felt like. + +They wanted, of course, a pretty ornament, dressed in pink +and white and descended from the Mayflower. I told them that any +one could bring up a daughter of the Mayflower to be an ornament +to society, but the real feat was to bring up a son of an Italian +organ-grinder and an Irish washerwoman. And I offered Punch. +That Neapolitan heredity of his, artistically speaking, may turn +out a glorious mixture, if the right environment comes along to +choke out all the weeds. + +I put it up to them as a sporting proposition, and they were +game. They have agreed to take him for one month and concentrate +upon his remaking all their years of conserved force, to the end +that he may be fit for adoption in some moral family. They both +have a sense of humor and ACCOMPLISHING characters, or I should +never have dared to propose it. And really I believe it's going +to be the one way of taming our young fire-eater. They will +furnish the affection and caresses and attention that in his +whole abused little life he has never had. + +They live in a fascinating old house with an Italian garden, +and furnishings selected from the whole round world. It does +seem like sacrilege to turn that destructive child loose in such +a collection of treasures. But he hasn't broken anything here +for more than a month, and I believe that the Italian in him will +respond to all that beauty. + +I warned them that they must not shrink from any profanity +that might issue from his pretty baby lips. + +He departed last night in a very fancy automobile, and maybe +I wasn't glad to say good-by to our disreputable young man! He +has absorbed just about half of my energy. + + + Friday. + + +The pendant arrived this morning. Many thanks! But you +really ought not to have given me another; a hostess cannot be +held accountable for all the things that careless guests lose in +her house. It is far too pretty for my chain. I am thinking of +having my nose pierced, Cingalese fashion, and wearing my new +jewel where it will really show. + +I must tell you that our Percy is putting some good +constructive work into this asylum. He has founded the John +Grier Bank, and has worked out all the details in a very +professional and businesslike fashion, entirely incomprehensible +to my non-mathematical mind. All of the older children possess +properly printed checkbooks, and they are each to be paid five +dollars a week for their services, such as going to school and +accomplishing housework. They are then to pay the institution +(by check) for their board and clothes, which will consume their +five dollars. It looks like a vicious circle, but it's really +very educative; they will comprehend the value of money before we +dump them into a mercenary world. Those who are particularly +good in lessons or work will receive an extra recompense. My +head aches at the thought of the bookkeeping, but Percy +waves that aside as a mere bagatelle. It is to be accomplished +by our prize arithmeticians, and will train them for positions of +trust. If Jervis hears of any opening for bank officials, let me +know; I shall have a well-trained president, cashier, and paying +teller ready to be placed by this time next year. + + + Saturday. + + +Our doctor doesn't like to be called "Enemy." It hurts his +feelings or his dignity or something of the sort. But since I +will persist, despite his expostulations, he has finally +retaliated with a nickname for me. He calls me "Miss Sally +Lunn," and is in a glow of pride at having achieved such an +imaginative flight. + +He and I have invented a new pastime: he talks Scotch, and I +answer in Irish. Our conversations run like this: + +"Good afthernoon to ye, docther. An' how's yer health the +day?" + +"Verra weel, verra weel. And how gas it wi' a' the bairns?" + +"Shure, they're all av thim doin' foin." + +"I'm gey glad to hear it. This saft weather is hard on folk. +There's muckle sickness aboot the kintra." + +"Hiven be praised it has not lighted here! But sit down, +docther, an' make yersilf at home. Will ye be afther havin' a +cup o' tay?" + +"Hoot, woman! I would na hae you fash yoursel', but a wee +drap tea winna coom amiss." + +"Whist! It's no thruble at all." + +You may not think this a very dizzying excursion into +frivolity; but I assure you, for one of Sandy's dignity, it's +positively riotous. The man has been in a heavenly temper ever +since I came back; not a single cross word. I am beginning to +think I may reform him as well as Punch. + +This letter must be about long enough even for you. I've +been writing it bit by bit for three days, whenever I happened to +pass my desk. + + Yours as ever, + + SALLIE. + +P.S. I don't think much of your vaunted prescription for hair +tonic. Either the druggist didn't mix it right, or Jane didn't +apply it with discretion. I stuck to the pillow this morning. + + + THE JOHN GRIER HOME, + Saturday. +Dear Gordon: + +Your letter of Thursday is at hand, and extremely silly I +consider it. Of course I am not trying to let you down easy; +that isn't my way. If I let you down at all, it will be suddenly +and with an awful bump. But I honestly didn't realize that it +had been three weeks since I wrote. Please excuse! + +Also, my dear sir, I have to bring you to account. You were +in New York last week, and you never ran up to see us. You +thought we wouldn't find it out, but we heard--and are insulted. + +Would you like an outline of my day's activities? Wrote +monthly report for trustees' meeting. Audited accounts. +Entertained agent of State Charities Aid Association for +luncheon. Supervised children's menus for next ten days. +Dictated five letters to families who have our children. Visited +our little feeble-minded Loretta Higgins (pardon the reference; I +know you don't like me to mention the feeble-minded), who is +being boarded out in a nice comfortable family, where she is +learning to work. Came back to tea and a conference with the +doctor about sending a child with tubercular glands to a +sanatorium. Read an article on cottage VERSUS congregate system +for housing dependent children. (We do need cottages! I wish +you'd send us a few for a Christmas present.) And now at nine +o'clock I'm sleepily beginning a letter to you. Do you know many +young society girls who can point to such a useful day as that? + +Oh, I forgot to say that I stole ten minutes from my accounts +this morning to install a new cook. Our Sallie Washington- +Johnston, who cooked fit for the angels had a dreadful, dreadful +temper and terrorized poor Noah, our super-excellent furnace man, +to the point of giving notice. We couldn't spare Noah. He's +more useful to the institution than its superintendent, and so +Sallie Washington-Johnston is no more. + +When I asked the new cook her name, she replied, "Ma name is +Suzanne Estelle, but ma friends call me Pet." Pet cooked the +dinner tonight, but I must say that she lacks Sallie's delicate +touch. I am awfully disappointed that you didn't visit us while +Sallie was still here. You would have taken away an exalted +opinion of my housekeeping. + + +Drowsiness overcame me at that point, and it's now two days +later. + +Poor neglected Gordon! It has just occurred to me that you +never got thanked for the modeling clay which came two weeks ago, +and it was such an unusually intelligent present that I should +have telegraphed my appreciation. When I opened the box and saw +all that nice messy putty stuff, I sat down on the spot and +created a statue of Singapore. The children love it; and it is +very good to have the handicraft side of their training +encouraged. + +After a careful study of American history, I have +determined that nothing is so valuable to a future president +as an early obligatory unescapable performance of CHORES. + +Therefore I have divided the daily work of this institution +into a hundred parcels, and the children rotate weekly through a +succession of unaccustomed tasks. Of course they do everything +badly, for just as they learn how, they progress to something +new. It would be infinitely easier for us to follow Mrs. +Lippett's immoral custom of keeping each child sentenced for life +to a well-learned routine; but when the temptation assails me, I +recall the dreary picture of Florence Henty, who polished the +brass doorknobs of this institution for seven years--and I +sternly shove the children on. + +I get angry every time I think of Mrs Lippett. She had +exactly the point of view of a Tammany politician--no slightest +sense of service to society. Her only interest in the John Grier +Home was to get a living out of it. + + + Wednesday. + + +What new branch of learning do you think I have introduced +into my asylum? Table manners! + +I never had any idea that it was such a lot of trouble to +teach children how to eat and drink. Their favorite method is to +put their mouths down to their mugs and lap their milk like +kittens. Good manners are not merely snobbish ornaments, as Mrs. +Lippett's regime appeared to believe. They mean self-discipline +and thought for others, and my children have got to learn them. + +That woman never allowed them to talk at their meals, and I +am having the most dreadful time getting any conversation out of +them above a frightened whisper. So I have instituted the custom +of the entire staff, myself included, sitting with them at the +table, and directing the talk along cheerful and improving lines. + +Also I have established a small, very strict training table, +where the little dears, in relays, undergo a week of steady +badgering. Our uplifting table conversations run like this: + +"Yes, Tom, Napoleon Bonaparte was a very great man--elbows +off the table. He possessed a tremendous power of concentrating +his mind on whatever he wanted to have; and that is the way to +accomplish--don't snatch, Susan; ask politely for the bread, and +Carrie will pass it to you.--But he was an example of the fact +that selfish thought just for oneself, without considering the +lives of others, will come to disaster in the--Tom! Keep your +mouth shut when you chew--and after the battle of Waterloo--let +Sadie's cooky alone--his fall was all the greater because--Sadie +Kate, you may leave the table. It makes no difference what he +did. Under no provocation does a lady slap a gentleman." + + +Two more days have passed; this is the same kind of +meandering letter I write to Judy. At least, my dear man, you +can't complain that I haven't been thinking about you this week! +I know you hate to be told all about the asylum, but I can't help +it, for it's all I know. I don't have five minutes a day to read +the papers. The big outside world has dropped away. My +interests all lie on the inside of this little iron inclosure. + + I am at present, + + S. McBRIDE, + + Superintendent of the + + John Grier Home. + + + Thursday. +Dear Enemy: + +"Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in." Hasn't that a very +philosophical, detached, Lord of the Universe sound? It comes +from Thoreau, whom I am assiduously reading at present. As you +see, I have revolted against your literature and taken to my own +again. The last two evenings have been devoted to "Walden," a +book as far removed as possible from the problems of the +dependent child. + +Did you ever read old Henry David Thoreau? You really ought. +I think you'd find him a congenial soul. Listen to this: +"Society is commonly too cheap. We meet at very short intervals, +not having had time to acquire any new value for each other. It +would be better if there were but one habitation to a square +mile, as where I live." A pleasant, expansive, neebor-like man +he must have been! He minds me in some ways o' Sandy. + +This is to tell you that we have a placing-out agent visiting +us. She is about to dispose of four chicks, one of them Thomas +Kehoe. What do you think? Ought we to risk it? The place she +has in mind for him is a farm in a no-license portion of +Connecticut, where he will work hard for his board, and live in +the farmer's family. It sounds exactly the right thing, and we +can't keep him here forever; he'll have to be turned out some day +into a world full of whisky. + +I'm sorry to tear you away from that cheerful work on +"Dementia Precox," but I'd be most obliged if you'd drop in here +toward eight o'clock for a conference with the agent. + + I am, as usual, + + S. McBRIDE. + + + June 17. +My dear Judy: + +Betsy has perpetrated a most unconscionable trick upon a pair of +adopting parents. They have traveled East from Ohio in their +touring car for the dual purpose of seeing the country and +picking up a daughter. They appear to be the leading citizens of +their town, whose name at the moment escapes me; but it's a very +important town. It has electric lights and gas, and Mr. Leading +Citizen owns the controlling interest in both plants. With a +wave of his hand he could plunge that entire town into darkness; +but fortunately he's a kind man, and won't do anything so harsh, +not even if they fail to reelect him mayor. He lives in a brick +house with a slate roof and two towers, and has a deer and +fountain and lots of nice shade trees in the yard. (He carries +its photograph in his pocket.) They are good-natured, generous, +kind-hearted, smiling people, and a little fat; you can see what +desirable parents they would make. + +Well, we had exactly the daughter of their dreams, only, as +they came without giving us notice, she was dressed in a +flannellet nightgown, and her face was dirty. They looked +Caroline over, and were not impressed; but they thanked us +politely, and said they would bear her in mind. They wanted to +visit the New York Orphanage before deciding. We knew well that, +if they saw that superior assemblage of children, our poor little +Caroline would never have a chance. + +Then Betsy rose to the emergency. She graciously invited +them to motor over to her house for tea that afternoon and +inspect one of our little wards who would be visiting her baby +niece. Mr. and Mrs. Leading Citizen do not know many people in +the East, and they haven't been receiving the invitations +that they feel are their due; so they were quite innocently +pleased at the prospect of a little social diversion. The moment +they had retired to the hotel for luncheon, Betsy called up her +car, and rushed baby Caroline over to her house. She stuffed her +into baby niece's best pink-and-white embroidered frock, borrowed +a hat of Irish lace, some pink socks and white slippers, and set +her picturesquely upon the green lawn under a spreading beech +tree. A white-aproned nurse (borrowed also from baby niece) +plied her with bread and milk and gaily colored toys. By the +time prospective parents arrived, our Caroline, full of food and +contentment, greeted them with cooes of delight. From the moment +their eyes fell upon her they were ravished with desire. Not a +suspicion crossed their unobservant minds that this sweet little +rosebud was the child of the morning. And so, a few formalities +having been complied with, it really looks as though baby +Caroline would live in the Towers and grow into a leading +citizen. + +I must really get to work, without any further delay, upon +the burning question of new clothes for our girls. + +With the highest esteem, I am, + D'r Ma'am, + Y'r most ob'd't and h'mble serv't, + + SAL. McBRIDE. + + + June 19th. +My dearest Judy: + +Listen to the grandest innovation of all, and one that will +delight your heart. + + NO MORE BLUE GINGHAM! + + +Feeling that this aristocratic neighborhood of country +estates might contain valuable food for our asylum, I have of +late been moving in the village social circles, and at a luncheon +yesterday I dug out a beautiful and charming widow who wears +delectable, flowing gowns that she designs herself. She confided +to me that she would have loved to have been a dressmaker, if she +had only been born with a needle in her mouth instead of a golden +spoon. She says she never sees a pretty girl badly dressed but +she longs to take her in hand and make her over. Did you ever +hear anything so apropos? From the moment she opened her lips +she was a marked man. + +"I can show you fifty-nine badly dressed girls," said I to +her, and you have got to come back with me and plan their new +clothes and make them beautiful." + +She expostulated; but in vain. I led her out to her +automobile, shoved her in, and murmured, "John Grier Home" to the +chauffeur. The first inmate our eyes fell upon was Sadie Kate, +just fresh, I judge, from hugging the molasses barrel; and a +shocking spectacle she was for any esthetically minded person. +In addition to the stickiness, one stocking was coming down, her +pinafore was buttoned crookedly, and she had lost a hair-ribbon. +But--as always--completely at ease, she welcomed us with a cheery +grin, and offered the lady a sticky paw. + +"Now," said I, in triumph, "you see how much we need you. +What can you do to make Sadie Kate beautiful?" + +"Wash her," said Mrs. Livermore. + +Sadie Kate was marched to my bathroom. When the scrubbing +was finished and the hair strained back and the stocking restored +to seemly heights, I returned her for a second inspection--a +perfectly normal little orphan. Mrs. Livermore turned her from +side to side, and studied her long and earnestly. + +Sadie Kate by nature is a beauty, a wild, dark, Gypsyish +little colleen. She looks fresh from the wind-swept moors of +Connemara. But, oh, we have managed to rob her of her +birthright with this awful institution uniform! + +After five minutes' silent contemplation, Mrs. Livermore +raised her eyes to mine. + +"Yes, my dear, you need me." + +And then and there we formed our plans. She is to head the +committee on C L O T H E S. She is to choose three friends to +help her. And they, with the two dozen best sewers among the +girls and our sewing-teacher and five sewing machines, are going +to make over the looks of this institution. And the charity is +all on our side. We are supplying Mrs. Livermore with the +profession that Providence robbed her of. Wasn't it clever of me +to find her? I woke this morning at dawn and crowed! + +Lots more news,--I could run into a second volume,--but I am +going to send this letter to town by Mr. Witherspoon, who, in a +very high collar and the blackest of evening clothes, is on the +point of departure for a barn dance at the country club. I +told him to pick out the nicest girls he danced with to come and +tell stories to my children. + +It is dreadful, the scheming person I am getting to be. All +the time I am talking to any one, I am silently thinking, "What +use can you be to my asylum?" + +There is grave danger that this present superintendent will +become so interested in her job that she will never want to +leave. I sometimes picture her a white-haired old lady, +propelled about the building in a wheeled chair, but still +tenaciously superintending her fourth generation of orphans. + +PLEASE discharge her before that day! + + Yours, + + SALLIE. + + + Friday. +Dear Judy: + +Yesterday morning, without the slightest warning, a station hack +drove up to the door and disgorged upon the steps two men, two +little boys, a baby girl, a rocking horse, and a Teddy bear, and +then drove off! + +The men were artists, and the little ones were children of +another artist, dead three weeks ago. They had brought the mites +to us because they thought "John Grier" sounded solid and +respectable, and not like a public institution. It had never +entered their unbusinesslike heads that any formality is +necessary about placing a child in an asylum. + +I explained that we were full, but they seemed so stranded +and aghast, that I told them to sit down while I advised them +what to do. So the chicks were sent to the nursery, with a +recommendation of bread and milk, while I listened to their +history. Those artists had a fatally literary touch, or maybe it +was just the sound of the baby girl's laugh, but, anyway, before +they had finished, the babes were ours. + +Never have I seen a sunnier creature than the little Allegra +(we don't often get such fancy names or such fancy children). +She is three years old, is lisping funny baby talk and bubbling +with laughter. The tragedy she has just emerged from has never +touched her. But Don and Clifford, sturdy little lads of five +and seven, are already solemn-eyed and frightened at the hardness +of life. + +Their mother was a kindergarten teacher who married an artist +on a capital of enthusiasm and a few tubes of paint. His friends +say that he had talent, but of course he had to throw it away to +pay the milkman. They lived in a haphazard fashion in a rickety +old studio, cooking behind screens, the babies sleeping on +shelves. + +But there seems to have been a very happy side to it--a great +deal of love and many friends, all more or less poor, but +artistic and congenial and high-thinking. The little lads, in +their gentleness and fineness, show that phase of their +upbringing. They have an air which many of my children, despite +all the good manners I can pour into them, will forever lack. + +The mother died in the hospital a few days after Allegra's +birth, and the father struggled on for two years, caring for his +brood and painting like mad--advertisements, anything--to keep a +roof over their heads. + +He died in St. Vincent's three weeks ago,--overwork, worry, +pneumonia. His friends rallied about the babies, sold such of +the studio fittings as had escaped pawning, paid off the debts, +and looked about for the best asylum they could find. And, +Heaven save them! they hit upon us! + +Well, I kept the two artists for luncheon,--nice creatures +in soft hats and Windsor ties, and looking pretty frayed +themselves,--and then started them back to New York with the +promise that I would give the little family my most parental +attention. + +So here they are, one little mite in the nursery, two in the +kindergarten room, four big packing cases full of canvases in the +cellar, and a trunk in the store room with the letters of their +father and mother. And a look in their faces, an intangible +spiritual SOMETHING, that is their heritage. + +I can't get them out of my mind. All night long I was +planning their future. The boys are easy. They have already +been graduated from college, Mr. Pendleton assisting, and are +pursuing honorable business careers. But Allegra I don't know +about; I can't think what to wish for the child. Of course the +normal thing to wish for any sweet little girl is that two kind +foster parents will come along to take the place of the real +parents that Fate has robbed her of. But in this case it would +be cruel to steal her away from her brothers. Their love for the +baby is pitiful. You see, they have brought her up. The only +time I ever hear them laugh is when she has done something funny. + +The poor little fellows miss their father horribly. I found Don, +the five-year-old one, sobbing in his crib last night because he +couldn't say good night to "daddy." + +But Allegra is true to her name, the happiest young miss of +three I have ever seen. The poor father managed well by her, and +she, little ingrate, has already forgotten that she has lost him. + +Whatever can I do with these little ones? I think and think +and think about them. I can't place them out, and it does seem +too awful to bring them up here; for as good as we are going to +be when we get ourselves made over, still, after all, we are an +institution, and our inmates are just little incubator chicks. +They don't get the individual, fussy care that only an old hen +can give. + +There is a lot of interesting news that I might have been +telling you, but my new little family has driven everything out +of my mind. + +Bairns are certain joy, but nae sma' care. + + Yours ever, + + SALLIE. +P.S. Don't forget that you are coming to visit me next week. + +P.S. II. The doctor, who is ordinarily so scientific and +unsentimental, has fallen in love with Allegra. He didn't so +much as glance at her tonsils; he simply picked her up in his +arms and hugged her. Oh, she is a little witch! Whatever is to +become of her? + + + + June 22. +My dear Judy: + +I may report that you need no longer worry as to our inadequate +fire protection. The doctor and Mr. Witherspoon have been giving +the matter their gravest attention, and no game yet devised has +proved so entertaining and destructive as our fire drill. + +The children all retire to their beds and plunge into alert +slumber. Fire alarm sounds. They spring up and into their +shoes, snatch the top blanket from their beds, wrap it around +their imaginary nightclothes, fall into line, and trot to the +hall and stairs. + +Our seventeen little tots in the nursery are each in charge +of an Indian, and are bundled out, shrieking with delight. The +remaining Indians, so long as there is no danger of the roof +falling, devote themselves to salvage. On the occasion of our +first drill, Percy in command, the contents of a dozen clothes +lockers were dumped into sheets and hurled out of the windows. I +usurped dictatorship just in time to keep the pillows and +mattresses from following. We spent hours resorting those +clothes, while Percy and the doctor, having lost all interest +strolled up to the camp with their pipes. + +Our future drills are to be a touch less realistic. However, +I am pleased to tell you that, under the able direction of Fire +Chief Witherspoon, we emptied the building in six minutes and +twenty-eight seconds. + +That baby Allegra has fairy blood in her veins. Never did +this institution harbor such a child, barring one that Jervis and +I know of. She has completely subjugated the doctor. Instead of +going about his visits like a sober medical man, he comes down to +my library hand in hand with Allegra, and for half an hour at a +time crawls about on a rug, pretending he's a horse, while the +bonnie wee lassie sits on his back and kicks. You know, I am +thinking of putting a card in the paper: + + Characters neatly remodeled. + S. McBride. + + +Sandy dropped in two nights ago to have a bit of conversation +with Betsy and me, and he was FRIVOLOUS. He made three jokes, +and he sat down at the piano and sang some old Scotch, "My luve's +like a red, red rose," and "Come under my plaidie," and "Wha's at +the window? Wha? Wha?" not in the least educational, and then +danced a few steps of the strathspey! + +I sat and beamed upon my handiwork, for it's true, I've done +it all through my frivolous example and the books I've given him +and the introducing of such lightsome companions as Jimmie and +Percy and Gordon Hallock. If I have a few more months in which +to work, I shall get the man human. He has given up purple ties, +and at my tactful suggestion has adopted a suit of gray. +You have no idea how it sets him off. He will be quite +distinguished looking as soon as I can make him stop carrying +bulgy things in his pockets. + +Good-by; and remember that we're expecting you on Friday. + + SALLIE. + +P.S. Here is a picture of Allegra, taken by Mr. Witherspoon. +Isn't she a love? Her present clothes do not enhance her beauty, +but in the course of a few weeks she will move into a pink +smocked frock. + + Wednesday, June 24, 10 A.M. +MRS. JERVIS PENDLETON. + +Madam: + +Your letter is at hand, stating that you cannot visit me on +Friday per promise, because your husband has business that keeps +him in town. What clishmaclaver is this! Has it come to such a +pass that you can't leave him for two days? + +I did not let 113 babies interfere with my visit to you, and +I see no reason why you should let one husband interfere with +your visit to me. I shall meet the Berkshire express on Friday +as agreed. + S. McBRIDE. + + + June 30. +My dear Judy: + +That was a very flying visit you paid us; but for all small +favors we are grateful. I am awfully pleased that you were so +delighted with the way things are going, and I can't wait for +Jervis and the architect to get up here and really begin a +fundamental ripping-up. + +You know, I had the queerest feeling all the time that you +were here. I can't make it seem true that you, my dear, +wonderful Judy, were actually brought up in this institution, and +know from the bitter inside what these little tots need. +Sometimes the tragedy of your childhood fills me with an anger +that makes me want to roll up my sleeves and fight the whole +world and force it into making itself over into a place more fit +for children to live in. That Scotch-Irish ancestry of mine +seems to have deposited a tremendous amount of FIGHT in my +character. + +If you had started me with a modern asylum, equipped with +nice, clean, hygienic cottages and everything in running order, I +couldn't have stood the monotony of its perfect clockwork. It's +the sight of so many things crying to be done that makes it +possible for me to stay. Sometimes, I must confess, I wake up in +the morning and listen to these institution noises, and sniff +this institution air, and long for the happy, carefree life that +by rights is mine. + +You my dear witch, cast a spell over me, and I came. But +often in the night watches your spell wears thin, and I start the +day with the burning decision to run away from the John Grier +Home. But I postpone starting until after breakfast. And as I +issue into the corridor, one of these pathetic tots runs to meet +me, and shyly slips a warm, crumpled little fist into my hand, +and looks up with wide baby eyes, mutely asking for a little +petting, and I snatch him up and hug him. And then, as I look +over his shoulder at the other forlorn little mites, I long to +take all 113 into my arms and love them into happiness. There is +something hypnotic about this working with children. Struggle as +you may, it gets you in the end. + +Your visit seems to have left me in a broadly philosophical +frame of mind; but I really have one or two bits of news that I +might convey. The new frocks are marching along, and, oh, but +they are going to be sweet! Mrs. Livermore was entranced +with those parti-colored bales of cotton cloth you sent,--you +should see our workroom, with it all scattered about,--and when I +think of sixty little girls, attired in pink and blue and yellow +and lavender, romping upon our lawn of a sunny day, I feel that +we should have a supply of smoked eye glasses to offer visitors. +Of course you know that some of those brilliant fabrics are going +to be very fadeable and impractical. But Mrs. Livermore is as +bad as you--she doesn't give a hang. She'll make a second and a +third set if necessary. DOWN WITH CHECKED GINGHAM! + +I am glad you liked our doctor. Of course we reserve the +right to say anything about him we choose, but our feelings would +be awfully hurt if anybody else should make fun of him. + +He and I are still superintending each other's reading. Last +week he appeared with Herbert Spencer's "System of Synthetic +Philosophy" for me to glance at. I gratefully accepted it, and +gave him in return the "Diary of Marie Bashkirtseff." Do you +remember in college how we used to enrich our daily speech with +quotations from Marie? Well, Sandy took her home and read her +painstakingly and thoughtfully. + +"Yes," he acknowledged today when he came to report, "it is a +truthful record of a certain kind of morbid, egotistical +personality that unfortunately does exist. But I can't +understand why you care to read it; for, thank God! Sally Lunn, +you and Bash haven't anything in common." + +That's the nearest to a compliment he ever came, and I feel +extremely flattered. As to poor Marie, he refers to her as +"Bash" because he can't pronounce her name, and is too disdainful +to try. + +We have a child here, the daughter of a chorus girl, and she +is a conceited, selfish, vain, posing, morbid, lying little minx, +but she has eyelashes! Sandy has taken the most violent dislike +to that child. And since reading poor Marie's diary, he has +found a new comprehensive adjective for summing up all of +her distressing qualities. He calls her BASHY, and dismisses +her. + +Good-by and come again. + + SALLIE. + +P.S. My children show a distressing tendency to draw out their +entire bank accounts to buy candy. + + + + Tuesday night. +My dear Judy: + +What do you think Sandy has done now? He has gone off on a +pleasure trip to that psychopathic institution whose head +alienist visited us a month or so ago. Did you ever know +anything like the man? He is fascinated by insane people, and +can't let them alone. + +When I asked for some parting medical instructions, he +replied: + +"Feed a cowld and hunger a colic and put nae faith in +doctors." + +With that advice, and a few bottles of cod-liver oil we are +left to our own devices. I feel very free and adventurous. +Perhaps you had better run up here again, as there's no telling +what joyous upheaval I may accomplish when out from under Sandy's +dampening influence. + + S. + + + THE JOHN GRIER HOME, + + Friday. +Dear Enemy: + +Here I stay lashed to the mast, while you run about the country +disporting yourself with insane people. And just as I was +thinking that I had nicely cured you of this morbid predilection +for psychopathic institutions! It's very disappointing. You had +seemed almost human of late. + +May I ask how long you are intending to stay? You had +permission to go for two days, and you've already been away four. + +Charlie Martin fell out of a cherry tree yesterday and cut his +head open, and we were driven to calling in a foreign doctor. +Five stitches. Patient doing well. But we don't like to depend +on strangers. I wouldn't say a word if you were away on +legitimate business, but you know very well that, after +associating with melancholics for a week, you will come back home +in a dreadful state of gloom, dead sure that humanity is going to +the dogs; and upon me will fall the burden of getting you +decently cheerful again. + +Do leave those insane people to their delusions, and come +back to the John Grier Home, which needs you. + + I am most fervent' + Your friend and servant, + S. McB. + +P.S. Don't you admire that poetical ending? It was borrowed +from Robert Burns, whose works I am reading assiduously as a +compliment to a Scotch friend. + + + July 6. +Dear Judy: + +That doctor man is still away. No word; just disappeared into +space. I don't know whether he is ever coming back or not, but +we seem to be running very happily without him. + +I lunched yesterday CHEZ the two kind ladies who have taken +our Punch to their hearts. The young man seems to be very much +at home. He took me by the hand, and did the honors of the +garden, presenting me with the bluebell of my choice. At +luncheon the English butler lifted him into his chair and tied on +his bib with as much manner as though he were serving a prince of +the blood. The butler has lately come from the household of the +Earl of Durham, Punch from a cellar in Houston Street. It was a +very uplifting spectacle. + +My hostesses entertained me afterward with excerpts from +their table conversations of the last two weeks. (I wonder the +butler hasn't given notice; he looked like a respectable man.) +If nothing more comes of it, at least Punch has furnished them +with funny stories for the rest of their lives. One of them is +even thinking of writing a book. "At least," says she, wiping +hysterical tears from her eyes, "we have lived!" + +The Hon. Cy dropped in at 6:30 last night, and found me in an +evening gown, starting for a dinner at Mrs. Livermore's house. +He mildly observed that Mrs. Lippett did not aspire to be a +society leader, but saved her energy for her work. You know I'm +not vindictive, but I never look at that man without wishing he +were at the bottom of the duck pond, securely anchored to a rock. + +Otherwise he'd pop up and float. + +Singapore respectfully salutes you, and is very glad that you +can't see him as he now appears. A shocking calamity has +befallen his good looks. Some bad child--and I don't think she's +a boy--has clipped that poor beastie in spots, until he looks +like a mangy, moth-eaten checkerboard. No one can imagine who +did it. Sadie Kate is very handy with the scissors, but she is +also handy with an alibi! During the time when the clipping +presumably occurred, she was occupying a stool in the corner of +the schoolroom with her face to the wall, as twenty-eight +children can testify. However, it has become Sadie Kate's daily +duty to treat those spots with your hair tonic. + + I am, as usual, + + SALLIE. + +P.S. This is a recent portrait of the Hon. Cy drawn from life. +The man, in some respects, is a fascinating talker; he makes +gestures with his nose. + + + Thursday evening. +Dear Judy: + +Sandy is back after a ten-days' absence,--no explanations,--and +plunged deep into gloom. He resents our amiable efforts to cheer +him up, and will have nothing to do with any of us except baby +Allegra. He took her to his house for supper tonight and never +brought her back until half-past seven, a scandalous hour for a +young miss of three. I don't know what to make of our doctor; he +grows more incomprehensible every day. + +But Percy, now, is an open-minded, confiding young man. He +has just been making a dinner call (he is very punctilious +in all social matters), and our entire conversation was devoted +to the girl in Detroit. He is lonely and likes to talk about +her; and the wonderful things he says! I hope that Miss Detroit +is worthy of all this fine affection, but I'm afraid. He fetched +out a leather case from the innermost recesses of his waistcoat +and, reverently unwrapping two layers of tissue-paper, showed me +the photograph of a silly little thing, all eyes and earrings and +fuzzy hair. I did my best to appear congratulatory, but my heart +shut up out of pity for the poor boy's future. + +Isn't it funny how the nicest men often choose the worst +wives, and the nicest women the worst husbands? Their very +niceness, I suppose, makes them blind and unsuspicious. + +You know, the most interesting pursuit in the world is +studying character. I believe I was meant to be a novelist; +people fascinate me--until I know them thoroughly. Percy and the +doctor form a most engaging contrast. You always know at any +moment what that nice young man is thinking about; he is written +like a primer in big type and one-syllable words. But the +doctor! He might as well be written in Chinese so far as +legibility goes. You have heard of people with a dual nature; +well, Sandy possesses a triple one. Usually he's scientific and +as hard as granite, but occasionally I suspect him of being quite +a sentimental person underneath his official casing. For days at +a time he will be patient and kind and helpful, and I begin to +like him; then without any warning an untamed wild man swells up +from the innermost depths, and--oh, dear! the creature's +impossible. + +I always suspect that sometime in the past he has suffered a +terrible hurt, and that he is still brooding over the memory of +it. All the time he is talking you have the uncomfortable +feeling that in the far back corners of his mind he is thinking +something else. But this may be merely my romantic +interpretation of an uncommonly bad temper. In any case, he's +baffling. + +We have been waiting for a week for a fine windy afternoon, +and this is it. My children are enjoying "kite-day," a leaf +taken from Japan. All of the big-enough boys and most of the +girls are spread over "Knowltop" (that high, rocky sheep pasture +which joins us on the east) flying kites made by themselves. + +I had a dreadful time coaxing the crusty old gentleman who +owns the estate into granting permission. He doesn't like +orphans, he says, and if he once lets them get a start in his +grounds, the place will be infested with them forever. You would +think, to hear him talk, that orphans were a pernicious kind of +beetle. + +But after half an hour's persuasive talking on my part, he +grudgingly made us free of his sheep pasture for two hours, +provided we didn't step foot into the cow pasture over the lane, +and came home promptly when our time was up. To insure the +sanctity of his cow pasture, Mr. Knowltop has sent his gardener +and chauffeur and two grooms to patrol its boundaries while the +flying is on. The children are still at it, and are having a +wonderful adventure racing over that windy height and getting +tangled up in one another's strings. When they come panting back +they are to have a surprise in the shape of ginger cookies and +lemonade. + +These pitiful little youngsters with their old faces! It's a +difficult task to make them young, but I believe I'm +accomplishing it. And it really is fun to feel you're doing +something positive for the good of the world. If I don't fight +hard against it, you'll be accomplishing your purpose of turning +me into a useful person. The social excitements of Worcester +almost seem tame before the engrossing interest of 113 live, +warm, wriggling little orphans. + + Yours with love, + + SALLIE. + +P.S. I believe, to be accurate, that it's 107 children I possess +this afternoon. + + +Dear Judy: + +This being Sunday and a beautiful blossoming day, with a warm +wind blowing, I sat at my window with the "Hygiene of the Nervous +System" (Sandy's latest contribution to my mental needs) open in +my lap, and my eyes on the prospect without. "Thank Heaven!" +thought I, "that this institution was so commandingly placed that +at least we can look out over the cast-iron wall which shuts us +in." + +I was feeling very cooped-up and imprisoned and like an +orphan myself; so I decided that my own nervous system required +fresh air and exercise and adventure. Straight before me ran +that white ribbon of road that dips into the valley and up over +the hills on the other side. Ever since I came I have longed to +follow it to the top and find out what lies beyond those hills. +Poor Judy! I dare say that very same longing enveloped your +childhood. If any one of my little chicks ever stands by the +window and looks across the valley to the hills and asks, "What's +over there?" I shall telephone for a motor car. + +But today my chicks were all piously engaged with their +little souls, I the only wanderer at heart. I changed my silken +Sunday gown for homespun, planning meanwhile a means to get to +the top of those hills. + +Then I went to the telephone and brazenly called up 505. + +"Good afternoon, Mrs. McGurk," said I, very sweet. "May I be +speaking with Dr. MacRae?" + +"Howld the wire," said she, very short. + +"Afternoon, Doctor," said I to him. "Have ye, by chance, any +dying patients who live on the top o' the hills beyant?" + +"I have not, thank the Lord!" + +"'Tis a pity," said I, disappointed. "And what are ye afther +doin' with yerself the day?" + +"I am reading the `Origin of Species.'" + +"Shut it up; it's not fit for Sunday. And tell me now, is +yer motor car iled and ready to go?" + +"It is at your disposal. Are you wanting me to take some +orphans for a ride?" + +"Just one who's sufferin' from a nervous system. She's taken +a fixed idea that she must get to the top o' the hills." + +"My car is a grand climber. In fifteen minutes--" + +"Wait!" said I. "Bring with ye a frying pan that's a decent +size for two. There's nothing in my kitchen smaller than a cart +wheel. And ask Mrs. McGurk can ye stay out for supper." + +So I packed in a basket a jar of bacon and some eggs and +muffins and ginger cookies, with hot coffee in the thermos +bottle, and was waiting on the steps when Sandy chugged up with +his automobile and frying pan. + +We really had a beautiful adventure, and he enjoyed the +sensation of running away exactly as much as I. Not once did I +let him mention insanity. I made him look at the wide stretches +of meadow and the lines of pollard willows backed by billowing +hills, and sniff the air, and listen to the cawing crows and the +tinkle of cowbells and the gurgling of the river. And we +talked--oh, about a million things far removed from our asylum. +I made him throw away the idea that he is a scientist, and +pretend to be a boy. You will scarcely credit the assertion, but +he succeeded--more or less. He did pull off one or two really +boyish pranks. Sandy is not yet out of his thirties and, mercy! +that is too early to be grown up. + +We camped on a bluff overlooking our view, gathered some +driftwood, built a fire, and cooked the NICEST supper--a +sprinkling of burnt stick in our fried eggs, but charcoal's +healthy. Then, when Sandy had finished his pipe and "the sun +was setting in its wonted west," we packed up and coasted +back home. + +He says it was the nicest afternoon he has had in years, and, +poor deluded man of science, I actually believe it's true. His +olive green home is so uncomfortable and dreary and uninspiring +that I don't wonder he drowns his troubles in books. Just as +soon as I can find a nice comfortable house mother to put in +charge, I am going to plot for the dismissal of Maggie McGurk, +though I foresee that she will be even harder than Sterry to pry +from her moorings. + +Please don't draw the conclusion that I am becoming unduly +interested in our bad-tempered doctor, for I'm not. It's just +that he leads such a comfortless life that I sometimes long to +pat him on the head and tell him to cheer up; the world's full of +sunshine, and some of it's for him--just as I long to comfort my +hundred and seven orphans; so much and no more. + +I am sure that I had some real news to tell you, but it has +completely gone out of my head. The rush of fresh air has made +me sleepy. It's half-past nine, and I bid you good night. + + S. + +P.S. Gordon Hallock has evaporated into thin air. Not a word +for three weeks; no candy or stuffed animals or tokimentoes of +any description. What on earth do you suppose has become of that +attentive young man? + + + July 13. +Dearest Judy: + +Hark to the glad tidings! + +This being the thirty-first day of Punch's month, I +telephoned to his two patronesses, as nominated in the bond, to +arrange for his return. I was met by an indignant refusal. Give +up their sweet little volcano just as they are getting it trained +not to belch forth fire? They are outraged that I can make such +an ungrateful request. Punch has accepted their invitation to +spend the summer. + +The dressmaking is still going on. You should hear the +machines whir and the tongues clatter in the sewing room. Our +most cowed, apathetic, spiritless little orphan cheers up and +takes an interest in life when she hears that she is to possess +three perfectly private dresses of her own, and each a different +color, chosen by herself. And you should see how it encourages +their sewing ability. Even the little ten-year-olds are bursting +into seamstresses. I wish I could devise an equally effective +way to make them take an interest in cooking. But our kitchen is +extremely uneducative. You know how hampering it is to one's +enthusiasm to have to prepare a bushel of potatoes at +once. + +I think you've heard me mention the fact that I should like +to divide up my kiddies into ten nice little families, with a +nice comfortable house mother over each? If we just had ten +picturesque cottages to put them in, with flowers in the front +yard and rabbits and kittens and puppies and chickens in the +back, we should be a perfectly presentable institution, and +wouldn't be ashamed to have these charity experts come visiting +us. + + + Thursday. + + +I started this letter three days ago, was interrupted to talk +to a potential philanthropist (fifty tickets to the circus), and +have not had time to pick up my pen since. Betsy has been in +Philadelphia for three days, being a bridesmaid for a miserable +cousin. I hope that no more of her family are thinking of +getting married, for it's most upsetting to the J. G. H. + +While there, she investigated a family who had applied for a +child. Of course we haven't a proper investigating plant, but +once in a while, when a family drops right into our arms, we do +like to put the business through. As a usual thing, we work with +the State Charities' Aid Association. They have a lot of trained +agents traveling about the State, keeping in touch with families +who are willing to take children, and with asylums that have them +to give. Since they are willing to work for us, there is no +slightest use in our going to the expense of peddling our own +babies. And I do want to place out as many as are available, for +I firmly believe that a private home is the best thing for the +child, provided, of course, that we are very fussy about the +character of the homes we choose. I don't require rich foster +parents, but I do require kind, loving, intelligent parents. +This time I think Betsy has landed a gem of a family. The child +is not yet delivered or the papers signed, and of course there is +always danger that they may give a sudden flop, and splash back +into the water. + +Ask Jervis if he ever heard of J. F. Bretland of +Philadelphia. He seems to move in financial circles. The first +I ever heard of him was a letter addressed to the "Supt. John +Grier Home, Dear Sir,"--a curt, typewritten, businesslike letter, +from an AWFULLY businesslike lawyer, saying that his wife had +determined to adopt a baby girl of attractive appearance and good +health between the ages of two and three years. The child +must be an orphan of American stock, with unimpeachable +heredity, and no relatives to interfere. Could I furnish one as +required and oblige, yours truly, J. F. Bretland? + +By way of reference he mentioned "Bradstreets." Did you ever +hear of anything so funny? You would think he was opening a +charge account at a nursery, and inclosing an order from our seed +catalogue. + +We began our usual investigation by mailing a reference blank +to a clergyman in Germantown, where the J. F. B.'s reside. + +Does he own any property? + +Does he pay his bills? + +Is he kind to animals? + +Does he attend church? + +Does he quarrel with his wife? And a dozen other impertinent +questions. + +We evidently picked a clergyman with a sense of humor. +Instead of answering in laborious detail, he wrote up and down +and across the sheet, "I wish they'd adopt me!" + +This looked promising, so B. Kindred obligingly dashed out to +Germantown as soon as the wedding breakfast was over. She is +developing the most phenomenal detective instinct. In the course +of a social call she can absorb from the chairs and tables a +family's entire moral history. + +She returned from Germantown bursting with enthusiastic +details. + +Mr. J. F. Bretland is a wealthy and influential citizen, +cordially loved by his friends and deeply hated by his enemies +(discharged employees, who do not hesitate to say that he is a +HAR-RD man). He is a little shaky in his attendance at church, +but his wife seems regular, and he gives money. + +She is a charming, kindly, cultivated gentlewoman, just out +of a sanatorium after a year of nervous prostration. The +doctor says that what she needs is some strong interest in +life, and advises adopting a child. She has always longed to do +it, but her hard husband has stubbornly refused. But finally, as +always, it is the gentle, persistent wife who has triumphed, and +hard husband has been forced to give in. Waiving his own natural +preference for a boy, he wrote, as above, the usual request for a +blue-eyed girl. + +Mrs. Bretland, with the firm intention of taking a child, has +been reading up for years, and there is no detail of infant +dietetics that she does not know. She has a sunny nursery, with +a southwestern exposure, all ready. And a closet full of +surreptitiously gathered dolls! She has made the clothes for +them herself,--she showed them to Betsy with the greatest +pride,--so you can understand the necessity for a girl. + +She has just heard of an excellent English trained nurse that +she can secure, but she isn't sure but that it would be better to +start with a French nurse, so that the child can learn the +language before her vocal cords are set. Also, she was extremely +interested when she heard that Betsy was a college woman. She +couldn't make up her mind whether to send the baby to college or +not. What was Betsy's honest opinion? If the child were Betsy's +own daughter, would Betsy send her to college? + +All this would be funny if it weren't so pathetic; but really +I can't get away from the picture of that poor lonely woman +sewing those doll clothes for the little unknown girl that she +wasn't sure she could have. She lost her own two babies years +ago, or, rather, she never had them; they were never alive. + +You can see what a good home it's going to be. There's lots +of love waiting for the little mite, and that is better than all +the wealth which, in this case, goes along. + +But the problem now is to find the child, and that isn't +easy. The J. F. Bretlands are so abominably explicit in their +requirements. I have just the baby boy to give them; but with +that closetful of dolls, he is impossible. Little Florence +won't do--one tenacious parent living. I've a wide variety of +foreigners with liquid brown eyes--won't do at all. Mrs. +Bretland is a blonde, and daughter must resemble her. I have +several sweet little mites with unspeakable heredity, but the +Bretlands want six generations of church-attending grandparents, +with a colonial governor at the top. Also I have a darling +little curly-headed girl (and curls are getting rarer and rarer), +but illegitimate. And that seems to be an unsurmountable barrier +in the eyes of adopting parents, though, as a matter of fact, it +makes no slightest difference in the child. However, she won't +do. The Bretlands hold out sternly for a marriage certificate. + +There remains just one child out of all these one hundred and +seven that appears available. Our little Sophie's father and +mother were killed in a railroad accident, and the only reason +she wasn't killed was because they had just left her in a +hospital to get an abscess cut out of her throat. She comes from +good common American stock, irreproachable and uninteresting in +every way. She's a washed-out, spiritless, whiney little thing. +The doctor has been pouring her full of his favorite cod-liver +oil and spinach, but he can't get any cheerfulness into her. + +However, individual love and care does accomplish wonders in +institution children, and she may bloom into something rare and +beautiful after a few months' transplanting. So I yesterday +wrote a glowing account of her immaculate family history to +J. F. Bretland, offering to deliver her in Germantown. + +This morning I received a telegram from J. F. B. Not at all! +He does not purpose to buy any daughter sight unseen. He will +come and inspect the child in person at three o'clock on +Wednesday next. + +Oh dear, if he shouldn't like her! We are now bending all +our energies toward enhancing that child's beauty-like a pup +bound for the dog show. Do you think it would be awfully +immoral if I rouged her cheeks a suspicion? She is too young to +pick up the habit. + +Heavens! what a letter! A million pages written without a +break. You can see where my heart is. I'm as excited over +little Sophie's settling in life as though she were my own +darling daughter. + +Respectful regards to the president. + + SAL. McB. + + +Dear Gordon: + +That was an obnoxious, beastly, low-down trick not to send me a +cheering line for four weeks just because, in a period of +abnormal stress I once let you go for three. I had really begun +to be worried for fear you'd tumbled into the Potomac. My chicks +would miss you dreadfully; they love their uncle Gordon. Please +remember that you promised to send them a donkey. + +Please also remember that I'm a busier person than you. it's +a lot harder to run the John Grier Home than the House of +Representatives. Besides, you have more efficient people to +help. + +This isn't a letter; it's an indignant remonstrance. I'll +write tomorrow--or the next day. + + S. + +P.S. On reading your letter over again I am slightly mollified, +but dinna think I believe a' your saft words. I ken weel ye only +flatter when ye speak sae fair. + + + July 17. +Dear Judy: + +I have a history to recount. + +This, please remember, is Wednesday next. So at half-past +two o'clock our little Sophie was bathed and brushed and clothed +in fine linen, and put in charge of a trusty orphan, with anxious +instructions to keep her clean. + +At three-thirty to the minute--never have I known a human +being so disconcertingly businesslike as J. F. Bretland--an +automobile of expensive foreign design rolled up to the steps of +this imposing chateau. A square-shouldered, square-jawed +personage, with a chopped-off mustache and a manner that inclines +one to hurry, presented himself three minutes later at my library +door. He greeted me briskly as "Miss McKosh." I gently +corrected him, and he changed to "Miss McKim." I indicated my +most soothing armchair, and invited him to take some light +refreshment after his journey. He accepted a glass of water (I +admire a temperate parent), and evinced an impatient desire to be +done with the business. So I rang the bell and ordered the +little Sophie to be brought down. + +"Hold on, Miss McGee!" said he to me. "I'd rather see her in +her own environment. I will go with you to the playroom or +corral or wherever you keep your youngsters." + +So I led him to the nursery, where thirteen or fourteen mites +in gingham rompers were tumbling about on mattresses on the +floor. Sophie, alone in the glory of feminine petticoats, was +ensconced in the blue-ginghamed arms of a very bored orphan. She +was squirming and fighting to get down, and her feminine +petticoats were tightly wound about her neck. I took her in my +arms, smoothed her clothes, wiped her nose, and invited her to +look at the gentleman. + +That child's whole future hung upon five minutes of +sunniness, and instead of a single smile, she WHINED! + +Mr. Bretland shook her hand in a very gingerly fashion and +chirruped to her as you might to a pup. Sophie took not the +slightest notice of him, but turned her back, and buried her face +in my neck. He shrugged his shoulders, supposed that they could +take her on trial. She might suit his wife; he himself didn't +want one, anyway. And we turned to go out. + +Then who should come toddling straight across his path but +that little sunbeam Allegra! Exactly in front of him she +staggered, threw her arms about like a windmill, and plumped down +on all fours. He hopped aside with great agility to avoid +stepping on her, and then picked her up and set her on her feet. +She clasped her arms about his leg, and looked up at him with a +gurgling laugh. + +"Daddy! Frow baby up!" + +He is the first man, barring the doctor, whom the child has +seen for weeks, and evidently he resembles somewhat her almost +forgotten father. + +J. F. Bretland picked her up and tossed her in the air as +handily as though it were a daily occurrence, while she +ecstatically shrieked her delight. Then when he showed signs of +lowering her, she grasped him by an ear and a nose, and drummed a +tattoo on his stomach with both feet. No one could ever accuse +Allegra of lacking vitality! + +J. F. disentangled himself from her endearments, and emerged, +rumpled as to hair, but with a firm-set jaw. He set her on her +feet, but retained her little doubled-up fist. + +"This is the kid for me," he said. "I don't believe I need +to look any further." + +I explained that we couldn't separate little Allegra from +her brothers; but the more I objected, the stubborner his +jaw became. We went back to the library, and argued about it for +half an hour. + +He liked her heredity, he liked her looks, he liked her +spirit, he liked HER. If he was going to have a daughter foisted +on him, he wanted one with some ginger. He'd be hanged if he'd +take that other whimpering little thing. It wasn't natural. But +if I gave him Allegra, he would bring her up as his own child, +and see that she was provided for for the rest of her life. Did +I have any right to cut her out from all that just for a lot of +sentimental nonsense? The family was already broken up; the best +I could do for them now was to provide for them individually. +"Take all three," said I, quite brazenly. + +But, no, he couldn't consider that; his wife was an invalid, +and one child was all that she could manage. + +Well, I was in a dreadful quandary. It seemed such a chance +for the child, and yet it did seem so cruel to separate her from +those two adoring little brothers. I knew that if the Bretlands +adopted her legally, they would do their best to break all ties +with the past, and the child was still so tiny she would forget +her brothers as quickly as she had her father. + +Then I thought about you, Judy, and of how bitter you have +always been because, when that family wanted to adopt you, the +asylum wouldn't let you go. You have always said that you might +have had a home, too, like other children, but that Mrs. Lippett +stole it away from you. Was I perhaps stealing little Allegra's +home from her? With the two boys it would be different; they +could be educated and turned out to shift for themselves. But to +a girl a home like this would mean everything. Ever since baby +Allegra came to us, she has seemed to me just such another child +as baby Judy must have been. She has ability and spirit. We +must somehow furnish her with opportunity. She, too, deserves +her share of the world's beauty and good--as much as nature has +fitted her to appreciate. And could any asylum ever give +her that? I stood and thought and thought while Mr. Bretland +impatiently paced the floor. + +"You have those boys down and let me talk to them," Mr. +Bretland insisted. "If they have a spark of generosity, they'll +be glad to let her go." + +I sent for them, but my heart was a solid lump of lead. They +were still missing their father; it seemed merciless to snatch +away that darling baby sister, too. + +They came hand in hand, sturdy, fine little chaps, and stood +solemnly at attention, with big, wondering eyes fixed on the +strange gentleman. + +"Come here, boys. I want to talk to you." He took each by a +hand. "In the house I live in we haven't any little baby, so my +wife and I decided to come here, where there are so many babies +without fathers and mothers, and take one home to be ours. She +will have a beautiful house to live in, and lots of toys to play +with, and she will be happy all her life--much happier than she +could ever be here. I know that you will be very glad to hear +that I have chosen your little sister." + +"And won't we ever see her any more?" asked Clifford. + +"Oh, yes, sometimes." + +Clifford looked from me to Mr. Bretland, and two big tears +began rolling down his cheeks. He jerked his hand away and came +and hurled himself into my arms. + +"Don't let him have her! Please! Please! Send him away!" + +"Take them all!" I begged. + +But he's a hard man. + +"I didn't come for an entire asylum," said he, shortly. + +By this time Don was sobbing on the other side. And then who +should inject himself into the hubbub but Dr. MacRae, with baby +Allegra in his arms! + +I introduced them, and explained. Mr. Bretland reached for +the baby, and Sandy held her tight. + +"Quite impossible," said Sandy, shortly. "Miss McBride +will tell you that it's one of the rules of this institution +never to separate a family." + +"Miss McBride has already decided," said J. F. B., stiffly. +"We have fully discussed the question." + +"You must be mistaken," said Sandy, becoming his Scotchest, +and turning to me. "You surely had no intention of performing +any such cruelty as this?" + +Here was the decision of Solomon all over again, with two of +the stubbornest men that the good Lord ever made wresting poor +little Allegra limb from limb. + +I despatched the three chicks back to the nursery and +returned to the fray. We argued loud and hotly, until finally J. +F. B. echoed my own frequent query of the last five months: "Who +is the head of this asylum, the superintendent or the visiting +physician?" + +I was furious with the doctor for placing me in such a +position before that man, but I couldn't quarrel with him in +public; so I had ultimately to tell Mr. Bretland with finality +and flatness, that Allegra was out of the question. Would he not +reconsider Sophie? + +No, he'd be darned if he'd reconsider Sophie. Allegra or +nobody. He hoped that I realized that I had weakly allowed the +child's entire future to be ruined. And with that parting shot +he backed to the door. "Miss MacRae, Dr. McBride, good +afternoon." He achieved two formal bows and withdrew. + +And the moment the door closed Sandy and I fought it out. He +said that any person who claimed to have any modern, humane views +on the subject of child-care ought to be ashamed to have +considered for even a moment the question of breaking up such a +family. And I accused him of keeping her for the purely selfish +reason that he was fond of the child and didn't wish to lose her. + +(And that, I believe, is the truth.) Oh, we had the battle of +our career, and he finally took himself off with a stiffness and +politeness that excelled J. F. B.'s. + +Between the two of them I feel as limp as though I'd been run +through our new mangling machine. And then Betsy came home, and +reviled me for throwing away the choicest family we have ever +discovered! + +So this is the end of our week of feverish activity; and both +Sophie and Allegra are, after all, to be institution children. +Oh dear! oh dear! Please remove Sandy from the staff, and send +me, instead, a German, a Frenchman, a Chinaman, if you choose-- +anything but a Scotchman. + + Yours wearily, + + SALLIE. + + +P.S. I dare say that Sandy is also passing a busy evening in +writing to have me removed. I won't object if you wish to do it. +I am tired of institutions. + + +Dear Gordon: + +You are a captious, caviling, carping, crabbed, contentious, +cantankerous chap. Hoot mon! an' why shouldna I drap into Scotch +gin I choose? An' I with a Mac in my name. + +Of course the John Grier will be delighted to welcome you on +Thursday next, not only for the donkey, but for your sweet sunny +presence as well. I was planning to write you a mile-long letter +to make up for past deficiencies, but wha's the use? I'll be +seeing you the morn's morn, an' unco gude will be the sight o' +you for sair een. + +Dinna fash yoursel, Laddie, because o'my language. My +forebears were from the Hielands. + + McBRIDE. + + +Dear Judy: + +All's well with the John Grier--except for a broken tooth, a +sprained wrist, a badly scratched knee, and one case of pinkeye. +Betsy and I are being polite, but cool, toward the doctor. The +annoying thing is that he is rather cool, too. And he seems to +be under the impression that the drop in temperature is all on +his side. He goes about his business in a scientific, impersonal +way, entirely courteous, but somewhat detached. + +However, the doctor is not disturbing us very extensively at +present. We are about to receive a visit from a far more +fascinating person than Sandy. The House of Representatives +again rests from its labors, and Gordon enjoys a vacation, two +days of which he is planning to spend at the Brantwood Inn. + +I am delighted to hear that you have had enough seaside, and +are considering our neighborhood for the rest of the summer. +There are several spacious estates to be had within a few miles +of the John Grier, and it will be a nice change for Jervis to +come home only at week ends. After a pleasantly occupied +absence, you will each have some new ideas to add to the common +stock. + +I can't add any further philosophy just now on the subject of +married life, having to refresh my memory on the Monroe Doctrine +and one or two other political topics. + +I am looking eagerly forward to August and three months with +you. + + As ever, + + SALLIE. + + + Friday. +Dear Enemy: + +It's very forgiving of me to invite you to dinner after that +volcanic explosion of last week. However, please come. You +remember our philanthropic friend, Mr. Hallock, who sent us the +peanuts and goldfish and other indigestible trifles? He will be +with us tonight, so this is your chance to turn the stream of his +benevolence into more hygienic channels. + +We dine at seven. + + As ever, + + SALLIE McBRIDE. + + + +Dear Enemy: + +You should have lived in the days when each man inhabited a +separate cave on a separate mountain. + + S. McBRIDE. + + + Friday, 6:30. +Dear Judy: + +Gordon is here, and a reformed man so far as his attitude toward +my asylum goes. He has discovered the world-old truth that the +way to a mother's heart is through praise of her children, and he +had nothing but praise for all 107 of mine. Even in the case of +Loretta Higgins he found something pleasant to say. He thinks it +nice that she isn't cross-eyed. + +He went shopping with me in the village this afternoon, and +was very helpful about picking out hair-ribbons for a couple of +dozen little girls. He begged to choose Sadie Kate's himself, +and after many hesitations he hit upon orange satin for one braid +and emerald green for the other. + +While we were immersed in this business I became aware of a +neighboring customer, ostensibly engaged with hooks and eyes, but +straining every ear to listen to our nonsense. + +She was so dressed up in a picture hat, a spotted veil, a +feather boa, and a NOUVEAU ART parasol that I never dreamed she +was any acquaintance of mine till I happened to catch her eye +with a familiar malicious gleam in it. She bowed stiffly, and +disapprovingly; and I nodded back. Mrs. Maggie McGurk in her +company clothes! + +That is a pleasanter expression than she really has. Her +smile is due to a slip of the pen. + +Poor Mrs. McGurk can't understand any possible intellectual +interest in a man. She suspects me of wanting to marry every +single one that I meet. At first she thought I wanted to snatch +away her doctor; but now, after seeing me with Gordon, she +considers me a bigamous monster who wants them both. + +Good-by; some guests approach. + + + 11:30 P.M. + + +I have just been giving a dinner for Gordon, with Betsy and +Mrs. Livermore and Mr. Witherspoon as guests. I graciously +included the doctor, but he curtly declined on the ground that he +wasn't in a social mood. Our Sandy does not let politeness +interfere with truth! + +There is no doubt about it, Gordon is the most presentable +man that ever breathed. He is so good looking and easy and +gracious and witty, and his manners are so impeccable--Oh, he +would make a wonderfully decorative husband! But after all, I +suppose you do live with a husband. You don't just show him off +at dinners and teas. + +He was exceptionally nice tonight. Betsy and Mrs. Livermore +both fell in love with him--and I just a trifle. He entertained +us with a speech in his best public manner, apropos of Java's +welfare. We have been having a dreadful time finding a sleeping +place for that monkey, and Gordon proved with incontestable logic +that, since he was presented to us by Jimmie, and Jimmie is +Percy's friend, he should sleep with Percy. Gordon is a natural +talker, and an audience affects him like champagne. He can argue +with us much emotional earnestness on the subject of a monkey as +on the greatest hero that ever bled for his country. + +I felt tears coming to my eyes when he described Java's +loneliness as he watched out the night in our furnace cellar, and +pictured his brothers at play in the far-off tropical jungle. + +A man who can talk like that has a future before him. I +haven't a doubt but that I shall be voting for him for President +in another twenty years. + +We all had a beautiful time, and entirely forgot--for a space +of three hours--that 107 orphans slumbered about us. Much as I +love the little dears, it is pleasant to get away from them once +in a while. + +My guests left at ten, and it must be midnight by now. (This +is the eighth day, and my clock has stopped again; Jane forgets +to wind it as regularly as Friday comes around.) However, I know +it's late; and as a woman, it's my duty to try for beauty sleep, +especially with an eligible young suitor at hand. + +I'll finish tomorrow. Good night. + + + Saturday. + + +Gordon spent this morning playing with my asylum and planning +some intelligent presents to be sent later. He thinks that three +neatly painted totem poles would add to the attractiveness of our +Indian camps. He is also going to make us a present of three +dozen pink rompers for the babies. Pink is a color that is very +popular with the superintendent of this asylum, who is deadly +tired of blue! Our generous friend is likewise amusing himself +with the idea of a couple of donkeys and saddles and a little red +cart. Isn't it nice that Gordon's father provided for him so +amply, and that he is such a charitably inclined young man? He +is at present lunching with Percy at the hotel, and, I trust, +imbibing fresh ideas in the field of philanthropy. + +Perhaps you think I haven't enjoyed this interruption to the +monotony of institution life! You can say all you please, my +dear Mrs. Pendleton, about how well I am managing your asylum, +but, just the same, it isn't natural for me to be so stationary. +I very frequently need a change. That is why Gordon, with his +bubbling optimism and boyish spirits, is so exhilarating +especially as a contrast to too much doctor. + + + Sunday morning. + + +I must tell you the end of Gordon's visit. His intention had +been to leave at four, but in an evil moment I begged him to stay +over till 9:30, and yesterday afternoon he and Singapore and I +took a long 'cross-country walk, far out of sight of the towers +of this asylum, and stopped at a pretty little roadside inn, +where we had a satisfying supper of ham and eggs and +cabbage. Sing stuffed so disgracefully that he has been languid +ever since. + +The walk and all was fun, and a very grateful change from +this monotonous life I lead. It would have kept me pleasant and +contented for weeks if something most unpleasant hadn't happened +later. We had a beautiful, sunny, carefree afternoon, and I'm +sorry to have had it spoiled. We came back very unromantically +in the trolley car, and reached the J. G. H. before nine, just in +good time for him to run on to the station and catch his train. +So I didn't ask him to come in, but politely wished him a +pleasant journey at the porte-cochere. + +A car was standing at the side of the drive, in the shadow of +the house. I recognized it, and thought the doctor was inside +with Mr. Witherspoon. (They frequently spend their evenings +together in the laboratory.) Well, Gordon, at the moment of +parting, was seized with an unfortunate impulse to ask me to +abandon the management of this asylum, and take over the +management of a private house instead. + +Did you ever know anything like the man? He had the whole +afternoon and miles of empty meadow in which to discuss the +question, but instead he must choose our door mat! + +I don't know just what I did say. I tried to turn it off +lightly and hurry him to his train. But he refused to be turned +off lightly. He braced himself against a post and insisted upon +arguing it out. I knew that he was missing his train, and that +every window in this institution was open. A man never has the +slightest thought of possible overhearers. It is always the +woman who thinks of convention. + +Being in a nervous twitter to get rid of him, I suppose I was +pretty abrupt and tactless. He began to get angry, and then by +some unlucky chance his eye fell on that car. He recognized it, +too, and, being in a savage mood, he began making fun of the +doctor. "Old Goggle-eyes" he called him, and "Scatchy," and oh, +the awfullest lot of unmannerly, silly things! + +I was assuring him with convincing earnestness that I didn't +care a rap about the doctor, that I thought he was just as funny +and impossible as he could be, when suddenly the doctor rose out +of his car and walked up to us. + +I could have evaporated from the earth very comfortably at +that moment! + +Sandy was quite clearly angry, as well he might be, after the +things he'd heard, but he was entirely cold and collected. +Gordon was hot, and bursting with imaginary wrongs. I was aghast +at this perfectly foolish and unnecessary muddle that had +suddenly arisen out of nothing. Sandy apologized to me with +unimpeachable politeness for inadvertently overhearing, and then +turned to Gordon and stiffly invited him to get into his car and +ride to the station. + +I begged him not to go. I didn't wish to be the cause of any +silly quarrel between them. But without paying the slightest +attention to me, they climbed into the car, and whirled away, +leaving me placidly standing on the door mat. + +I came in and went to bed, and lay awake for hours, expecting +to hear--I don't know what kind of explosion. It is now eleven +o'clock, and the doctor hasn't appeared. I don't know how on +earth I shall meet him when he does. I fancy I shall hide in the +clothes closet. + +Did you ever know anything as unnecessary and stupid as this +whole situation? I suppose now I've quarreled with Gordon,--and +I positively don't know over what,--and of course my relations +with the doctor are going to be terribly awkward. I said horrid +things about him,--you know the silly way I talk,--things I +didn't mean in the least. + +I wish it were yesterday at this time. I would make Gordon +go at four. + + SALLIE. + + + + Sunday afternoon. +Dear Dr. MacRae: + +That was a horrid, stupid, silly business last night. But by +this time you must know me well enough to realize that I never +mean the foolish things I say. My tongue has no slightest +connection with my brain; it just runs along by itself. I must +seem to you very ungrateful for all the help you have given me in +this unaccustomed work and for the patience you have +(occasionally) shown. + +I do appreciate the fact that I could never have run this +asylum by myself without your responsible presence in the +background. And though once in a while, as you yourself must +acknowledge, you have been pretty impatient and bad tempered and +difficult, still I have never held it up against you, and I +really didn't mean any of the ill-mannered things I said last +night. Please forgive me for being rude. I should hate very +much to lose your friendship. And we are friends, are we not? I +like to think so. + + S. McB. + + +Dear Judy: + +I am sure I haven't an idea whether or not the doctor and I have +made up our differences. I sent him a polite note of apology, +which he received in abysmal silence. He didn't come near us +until this afternoon, and he hasn't by the blink of an eyelash +referred to our unfortunate contretemps. We talked exclusively +about an ichthyol salve that will remove eczema from a baby's +scalp; then, Sadie Kate being present, the conversation turned to +cats. It seems that the doctor's Maltese cat has four +kittens, and Sadie Kate will not be silenced until she has seen +them. Before I knew what was happening I found myself making an +engagement to take her to see those miserable kittens at four +o'clock tomorrow afternoon. + +Whereupon the doctor, with an indifferently polite bow, took +himself off. And that apparently is the end. + +Your Sunday note arrives, and I am delighted to hear that you +have taken the house. It will be beautiful having you for a +neighbor for so long. Our improvements ought to march along, +with you and the president at our elbow. But it does seem as +though, you ought to get out here before August 7. Are you sure +that city air is good for you just now? I have never known so +devoted a wife. + +My respects to the president. + + S. McB. + + + July 22. +Dear Judy: + +Please listen to this! + +At four o'clock I took Sadie Kate to the doctor's house to +look at those cats. But Freddy Howland just twenty minutes +before had fallen downstairs, so the doctor was at the Howland +house occupying himself with Freddy's collarbone. He had left +word for us to sit down and wait, that he would be back shortly. + +Mrs. McGurk ushered us into the library; and then, not to +leave us alone, came in herself on a pretense of polishing the +brass. I don't know what she thought we'd do! Run off with the +pelican perhaps. + +I settled down to an article about the Chinese situation in +the Century, and Sadie Kate roamed about at large examining +everything she found, like a curious little mongoose. + +She commenced with his stuffed flamingo and wanted to know +what made it so tall and what made it so red. Did it always eat +frogs, and had it hurt its other foot? She ticks off questions +with the steady persistency of an eight-day clock. + +I buried myself in my article and left Mrs. McGurk to deal +with Sadie. Finally, after she had worked half-way around the +room, she came to a portrait of a little girl occupying a leather +frame in the center of the doctor's writing desk--a child with a +queer elf-like beauty, resembling very strangely our little +Allegra. This photograph might have been a portrait of Allegra +grown five years older. I had noticed the picture the night we +took supper with the doctor, and had meant to ask which of his +little patients she was. Happily I didn't! + +"Who's that?" said Sadie Kate, pouncing upon it. + +"It's the docthor's little gurrl." + +"Where is she?" + +"Shure, she's far away wit' her gran'ma." + +"Where'd he get her?" + +"His wife give her to him." + +I emerged from my book with electric suddenness. + +"His wife!" I cried. + +The next instant I was furious with myself for having spoken, +but I was so completely taken off my guard. Mrs. McGurk +straightened up and became volubly conversational at once. + +"And didn't he never tell you about his wife? She went +insane six years ago. It got so it weren't safe to keep her in +the house, and he had to put her away. It near killed him. I +never seen a lady more beautiful than her. I guess he didn't so +much as smile for a year. It's funny he never told you nothing, +and you such a friend!" + +"Naturally it's not a subject he cares to talk about," said I +dryly, and I asked her what kind of brass polish she used. + +Sadie Kate and I went out to the garage and hunted up the +kittens ourselves; and we mercifully got away before the doctor +came back. + +But will you tell me what this means? Didn't Jervis know he +was married? It's the queerest thing I ever heard. I do think, +as the McGurk suggests, that Sandy might casually have dropped +the information that he had a wife in an insane asylum. + +But of course it must be a terrible tragedy and I suppose he +can't bring himself to talk about it. I see now why he's so +morbid over the question of heredity--I dare say he fears for the +little girl. When I think of all the jokes I've made on the +subject, I'm aghast at how I must have hurt him, and angry with +myself and angry with him. + +I feel as though I never wanted to see the man again. Mercy! +did you ever know such a muddle as we are getting ourselves into? + + Yours, + SALLIE. + +P.S. Tom McCoomb has pushed Mamie Prout into the box of mortar +that the masons use. She's parboiled. I've sent for the doctor. + + + July 24. +My dear Madam: + +I have a shocking scandal to report about the superintendent of +the John Grier Home. Don't let it get into the newspapers, +please. I can picture the spicy details of the investigation +prior to her removal by the "Cruelty." + +I was sitting in the sunshine by my open window this morning +reading a sweet book on the Froebel theory of child +culture--never lose your temper, always speak kindly to the +little ones. Though they may appear bad, they are not so in +reality. It is either that they are not feeling well or have +nothing interesting to do. Never punish; simply deflect their +attention. I was entertaining a very loving, uplifted attitude +toward all this young life about me when my attention was +attracted by a group of little boys beneath the window. + +"Aw--John--don't hurt it!" + +"Let it go!" + +"Kill it quick!" + +And above their remonstrances rose the agonized squealing of +some animal in pain. I dropped Froebel and, running downstairs, +burst upon them from the side door. They saw me coming, and +scattered right and left, revealing Johnnie Cobden engaged in +torturing a mouse. I will spare you the grisly details. I +called to one of the boys to come and drown the creature quick! +John I seized by the collar; and dragged him squirming and +kicking in at the kitchen door. He is a big, hulking boy of +thirteen, and he fought like a little tiger, holding on to posts +and doorjambs as we passed. Ordinarily I doubt if I could have +handled him, but that one sixteenth Irish that I possess was all +on top, and I was fighting mad. We burst into the kitchen, and I +hastily looked about for a means of chastisement. The pancake +turner was the first utensil that met my eyes. I seized it and +beat that child with all my strength, until I had reduced him to +a cowering, whimpering mendicant for mercy, instead of the +fighting little bully he had been four minutes before. + +And then who should suddenly burst into the midst of this +explosion but Dr. MacRae! His face was blank with astonishment. +He strode over and took the pancake turner out of my hand and set +the boy on his feet. Johnnie got behind him and clung! I was so +angry that I really couldn't talk. It was all I could do not to +cry. + +"Come, we will take him up to the office," was all the doctor +said. And we marched out, Johnnie keeping as far from me as +possible and limping conspicuously. We left him in the outer +office, and went into my library and shut the door. + +"What in the world has the child done?" he asked. + +At that I simply laid my head down on the table and began to +cry! I was utterly exhausted both emotionally and physically. +It had taken all the strength I possessed to make the pancake +turner effective. + +I sobbed out all the bloody details, and he told me not to +think about it; the mouse was dead now. Then he got me some +water to drink, and told me to keep on crying till I was tired; +it would do me good. I am not sure that he didn't pat me on the +head! Anyway, it was his best professional manner. I have +watched him administer the same treatment a dozen times to +hysterical orphans. And this was the first time in a week that +we had spoken beyond the formality of "good morning"! + +Well, as soon as I had got to the stage where I could sit up +and laugh, intermittently dabbing my eyes with a wad of +handkerchief, we began a review of Johnnie's case. The boy has a +morbid heredity, and may be slightly defective, says Sandy. We +must deal with the fact as we would with any other disease. Even +normal boys are often cruel. A child's moral sense is +undeveloped at thirteen. + +Then he suggested that I bathe my eyes with hot water and +resume my dignity. Which I did. And we had Johnnie in. He +stood--by preference--through the entire interview. The doctor +talked to him, oh, so sensibly and kindly and humanely! John put +up the plea that the mouse was a pest and ought to be killed. +The doctor replied that the welfare of the human race demanded +the sacrifice of many animals for its own good, not for revenge, +but that the sacrifice must be carried out with the least +possible hurt to the animal. He explained about the mouse's +nervous system, and how the poor little creature hadno means +of defense. It was a cowardly thing to hurt it wantonly. He +told John to try to develop imagination enough to look at things +from the other person's point of view, even if the other person +was only a mouse. Then he went to the bookcase and took down my +copy of Burns, and told the boy what a great poet he was, and how +all Scotchmen loved his memory. + +"And this is what he wrote about a mouse," said Sandy, +turning to the "Wee, sleekit, cow'rin, timorous beastie," which +he read and explained to the lad as only a Scotchman could. + +Johnnie departed penitent, and Sandy redirected his +professional attention to me. He said I was tired and in need of +a change. Why not go to the Adirondacks for a week? He and +Betsy and Mr. Witherspoon would make themselves into a committee +to run the asylum. + +You know, that's exactly what I was longing to do! I need a +shifting of ideas and some pine-scented air. My family opened +the camp last week, and think I'm awful not to join them. They +won't understand that when you accept a position like this you +can't casually toss it aside whenever you feel like it. But for +a few days I can easily manage. My asylum is wound up like an +eight-day clock, and will run until a week from next Monday at 4 +P.M., when my train will return me. Then I shall be comfortably +settled again before you arrive, and with no errant fancies in my +brain. + +Meanwhile Master John is in a happily chastened frame of mind +and body. And I rather suspect that Sandy's moralizing had the +more force because it was preceded by my pancake turner! But one +thing I know--Suzanne Estelle is terrified whenever I step into +her kitchen. I casually picked up the potato-masher this morning +while I was commenting upon last night's over-salty soup, and she +ran to cover behind the woodshed door. + +Tomorrow at nine I set out on my travels, after preparing the +way with five telegrams. And, oh! you can't imagine how I'm +looking forward to being a gay, carefree young thing again--to +canoeing on the lake and tramping in the woods and dancing at the +clubhouse. I was in a state of delirium all night long at the +prospect. Really, I hadn't realized how mortally tired I had +become of all this asylum scenery. + +"What you need," said Sandy to me, "is to get away for a +little and sow some wild oats." + +That diagnosis was positively clairvoyant. I can't think of +anything in the world I'd rather do than sow a few wild oats. +I'll come back with fresh energy, ready to welcome you and a busy +summer. + + As ever, + + SALLIE. + +P.S. Jimmie and Gordon are both going to be up there. How I +wish you could join us! A husband is very discommoding. + + + CAMP McBRIDE, + + July 29. +Dear Judy: + +This is to tell you that the mountains are higher than usual, the +woods greener, and the lake bluer. + +People seem late about coming up this year. The Harrimans' +camp is the only other one at our end of the lake that is open. +The clubhouse is very scantily supplied with dancing men, but we +have as house guest an obliging young politician who likes to +dance, so I am not discommoded by the general scarcity. + +The affairs of the nation and the rearing of orphans are +alike delegated to the background while we paddle about among the +lily pads of this delectable lake. I look forward with +reluctance to 7:56 next Monday morning, when I turn my back on +the mountains. The awful thing about a vacation is that the +moment it begins your happiness is already clouded by its +approaching end. + +I hear a voice on the veranda asking if Sallie is to be found +within or without. + + +ADDIO! + + S. + + + August 3. +Dear Judy: + +Back at the John Grier, reshouldering the burdens of the coming +generation. What should meet my eyes upon entering these grounds +but John Cobden, of pancake turner memory, wearing a badge upon +his sleeve. I turned it to me and read "S. P. C. A." in letters +of gold! The doctor, during my absence, has formed a local +branch of the Cruelty to Animals, and made Johnnie its president. + +I hear that yesterday he stopped the workmen on the +foundation for the new farm cottage and scolded them severely for +whipping their horses up the incline! None of all this strikes +any one but me as funny. + +There's a lot of news, but with you due in four days, why +bother to write? Just one delicious bit I am saving for the end. + +So hold your breath. You are going to receive a thrill on page +4. You should hear Sadie Kate squeal! Jane is cutting her hair. + +Instead of wearing it in two tight braids like this-- our +little colleen will in the future look like this-- + + +"Them pigtails got on my nerves," says Jane. + +You can see how much more stylish and becoming the present +coiffure is. I think somebody will be wanting to adopt her. +Only Sadie Kate is such an independent, manly little creature; +she is eminently fitted by nature to shift for herself. I must +save adopting parents for the helpless ones. + +You should see our new clothes! I can't wait for this +assemblage of rosebuds to burst upon you. And you should have +seen those blue ginghamed eyes brighten when the new frocks were +actually given out--three for each girl, all different +colors, and all perfectly private personal property, with +the owner's indelible name inside the collar. Mrs. Lippett's +lazy system of having each child draw from the wash a promiscuous +dress each week, was an insult to feminine nature. + +Sadie Kate is squealing like a baby pig. I must go to see if +Jane has by mistake clipped off an ear. + + +Jane hasn't. Sadie's excellent ears are still intact. She +is just squealing on principle; the way one does in a dentist's +chair, under the belief that it is going to hurt the next +instant. + +I really can't think of anything else to write except my +news,--so here it is,--and I hope you'll like it. + +I am engaged to be married. + + My love to you both. + + S. McB. + + + THE JOHN GRIER HOME, + + November 15. +Dear Judy: + + +Betsy and I are just back from a GIRO in our new motor car. It +undoubtedly does add to the pleasure of institution life. The +car of its own accord turned up Long Ridge Road, and stopped +before the gates of Shadywell. The chains were up, and the +shutters battened down, and the place looked closed and gloomy +and rain-soaked. It wore a sort of fall of the House of Usher +air, and didn't in the least resemble the cheerful house that +used to greet me hospitably of an afternoon. + +I hate to have our nice summer ended. It seems as though a +section of my life was shut away behind me, and the unknown +future was pressing awfully close. Positively, I'd like to +postpone that wedding another six months, but I'm afraid poor +Gordon would make too dreadful a fuss. Don't think I'm getting +wobbly, for I'm not. It's just that somehow I need more time to +think about it, and March is getting nearer every day. I know +absolutely that I'm doing the most sensible thing. Everybody, +man or woman, is the better for being nicely and appropriately +and cheerfully married. But oh dear! oh dear! I do hate +upheavals, and this is going to be such a world-without-end +upheaval! Sometimes when the day's work is over, and I'm tired, +I haven't the spirit to rise and meet it. + +And now especially since you've bought Shadywell, and are +going to be here every summer, I resent having to leave. Next +year, when I'm far away, I'll be consumed with homesickness, +thinking of all the busy, happy times at the John Grier, with you +and Betsy and Percy and our grumbly Scotchman working away +cheerfully without me. How can anything ever make up to a mother +for the loss of 107 children? + +I trust that Judy, junior, stood the journey into town +without upsetting her usual poise. I am sending her a bit +giftie, made partly by myself and chiefly by Jane. But two rows, +I must inform you, were done by the doctor. One only gradually +plumbs the depths of Sandy's nature. After a ten-months' +acquaintance with the man, I discover that he knows how to knit, +an accomplishment he picked up in his boyhood from an old +shepherd on the Scotch moors. + +He dropped in three days ago and stayed for tea, really in +almost his old friendly mood. But he has since stiffened up +again to the same man of granite we knew all summer. I've given +up trying to make him out. I suppose, however, that any one +might be expected to be a bit down with a wife in an insane +asylum. I wish he'd talk about it once. It's awful having such +a shadow hovering in the background of your thoughts and never +coming out into plain sight. + +I know that this letter doesn't contain a word of the kind of +news that you like to hear. But it's that beastly twilight hour +of a damp November day, and I'm in a beastly uncheerful mood. +I'm awfully afraid that I am developing into a temperamental +person, and Heaven knows Gordon can supply all the temperament +that one family needs! I don't know where we'll land if I don't +preserve my sensibly stolid, cheerful nature. + +Have you really decided to go South with Jervis? I +appreciate your feeling (to a slight extent) about not wanting to +be separated from a husband; but it does seem sort of hazardous +to me to move so young a daughter to the tropics. + +The children are playing blind man's buff in the lower +corridor. I think I'll have a romp with them, and try to be in a +more affable mood before resuming my pen. + + A BIENTOT! + + SALLIE. + +P.S. These November nights are pretty cold, and we are getting +ready to move the camps indoors. Our Indians are very pampered +young savages at present, with a double supply of blankets and +hot-water bottles. I shall hate to see the camps go; they have +done a lot for us. Our lads will be as tough as Canadian +trappers when they come in. + + + November 20. +Dear Judy: + +Your motherly solicitude is sweet, but I didn't mean what I said. + +Of course it's perfectly safe to convey Judy, junior, to the +temperately tropical lands that are washed by the Caribbean. +She'll thrive as long as you don't set her absolutely on top of +the equator. And your bungalow, shaded by palms and fanned +by sea breezes, with an ice machine in the back yard and an +English doctor across the bay, sounds made for the rearing of +babies. + +My objections were all due to the selfish fact that I and the +John Grier are going to be lonely without you this winter. I +really think it's entrancing to have a husband who engages in +such picturesque pursuits as financing tropical railroads and +developing asphalt lakes and rubber groves and mahogany forests. +I wish that Gordon would take to life in those picturesque +countries; I'd be more thrilled by the romantic possibilities of +the future. Washington seems awfully commonplace compared with +Honduras and Nicaragua and the islands of the Caribbean. + +I'll be down to wave good-by. + + ADDIO! + + SALLIE. + + + + November 24. +Dear Gordon: + +Judy has gone back to town, and is sailing next week for Jamaica, +where she is to make her headquarters while Jervis cruises about +adjacent waters on these entertaining new ventures of his. +Couldn't you engage in traffic in the South Seas? I think I'd +feel pleasanter about leaving my asylum if you had something +romantic and adventurous to offer instead. And think how +beautiful you'd be in those white linen clothes! I really +believe I might be able to stay in love with a man quite +permanently if he always dressed in white. + +You can't imagine how I miss Judy. Her absence leaves a +dreadful hole in my afternoons. Can't you run up for a week +end soon? I think the sight of you would be very cheering, and +I'm feeling awfully down of late. You know, my dear Gordon, I +like you much better when you're right here before my eyes than +when I merely think about you from a distance. I believe you +must have a sort of hypnotic influence. Occasionally, after +you've been away a long time, your spell wears a little thin. +But when I see you, it all comes back. You've been away now a +long, long time; so, please come fast and bewitch me over again! + + S. + + + December 2. +Dear Judy: + +Do you remember in college, when you and I used to plan our +favorite futures, how we were forever turning our faces +southward? And now to think it has really come true, and you are +there, coasting around those tropical isles! Did you ever have +such a thrill in the whole of your life, barring one or two +connected with Jervis, as when you came up on deck in the early +dawn and found yourself riding at anchor in the harbor of +Kingston, with the water so blue and the palms so green and the +beach so white? + +I remember when I first woke in that harbor. I felt like a +heroine of grand opera surrounded by untruly beautiful painted +scenery. Nothing in my four trips to Europe ever thrilled me +like the queer sights and tastes and smells of those three warm +weeks seven years ago. And ever since, I've panted to get back. +When I stop to think about it, I can hardly bring myself to +swallow our unexciting meals; I wish to be dining on curries and +tamales and mangos. Isn't it funny? You'd think I must have a +dash of Creole or Spanish or some warm blood in me +somewhere, but I'm nothing on earth but a chilly mixture of +English and Irish and Scotch. Perhaps that is why I hear the +South calling. "The palm dreams of the pine, and the pine of the +palm." + +After seeing you off, I turned back to New York with an awful +wander-thirst gnawing at my vitals. I, too, wanted to be +starting off on my travels in a new blue hat and a new blue suit +with a big bunch of violets in my hand. For five minutes I would +cheerfully have said good-by forever to poor dear Gordon in +return for the wide world to wander in. I suppose you are +thinking they are not entirely incompatible--Gordon and the wide +world--but I don't seem able to get your point of view about +husbands. I see marriage as a man must, a good, sensible +workaday institution; but awfully curbing to one's liberty. +Somehow, after you're married forever, life has lost its feeling +of adventure. There aren't any romantic possibilities waiting to +surprise you around each corner. + +The disgraceful truth is that one man doesn't seem quite +enough for me. I like the variety of sensation that you get only +from a variety of men. I'm afraid I've spent too flirtatious a +youth, and it isn't easy for me to settle. + +I seem to have a very wandering pen. To return: I saw you +off, and took the ferry back to New York with a horribly empty +feeling. After our intimate, gossipy three months together, it +seems a terrible task to tell you my troubles in tones that will +reach to the bottom of the continent. My ferry slid right under +the nose of your steamer, and I could see you and Jervis plainly +leaning on the rail. I waved frantically, but you never blinked +an eyelash. Your gaze was fixed in homesick contemplation upon +the top of the Woolworth Building. + +Back in New York, I took myself to a department store to +accomplish a few trifles in the way of shopping. As I was +entering through their revolving doors, who should be revolving +in the other direction but Helen Brooks! We had a terrible +time meeting, as I tried to go back out, and she tried to come +back in; I thought we should revolve eternally. But we finally +got together and shook hands, and she obligingly helped me choose +fifteen dozen pairs of stockings and fifty caps and sweaters and +two hundred union suits, and then we gossiped all the way up to +Fifty-second Street, where we had luncheon at the Women's +University Club. + +I always liked Helen. She's not spectacular, but steady and +dependable. Will you ever forget the way she took hold of that +senior pageant committee and whipped it into shape after Mildred +had made such a mess of it? How would she do here as a successor +to me? I am filled with jealousy at the thought of a successor, +but I suppose I must face it. + +"When did you last see Judy Abbott?" was Helen's first +question. + +"Fifteen minutes ago," said I. "She has just set sail for +the Spanish main with a husband and daughter and nurse and maid +and valet and dog." + +"Has she a nice husband?" + +"None better." + +"And does she still like him?" + +"Never saw a happier marriage." + +It struck me that Helen looked a trifle bleak, and I suddenly +remembered all that gossip that Marty Keene told us last summer; +so I hastily changed the conversation to a perfectly safe subject +like orphans. + +But later she told me the whole story herself in as detached +and impersonal a way as though she were discussing the characters +in a book. She has been living alone in the city, hardly seeing +any one, and she seemed low in spirits and glad to talk. Poor +Helen appears to have made an awful mess of her life. I don't +know any one who has covered so much ground in such a short +space of time. Since her graduation she has been married, has +had a baby and lost him, divorced her husband, quarreled with her +family, and come to the city to earn her own living. She is +reading manuscript for a publishing house. + +There seems to have been no reason for her divorce from the +ordinary point of view; the marriage just simply didn't work. +They weren't friends. If he had been a woman, she wouldn't have +wasted half an hour talking with him. If she had been a man, he +would have said: "Glad to see you. How are you?" and gone on. +And yet they MARRIED. Isn't it dreadful how blind this sex +business can make people? + +She was brought up on the theory that a woman's only +legitimate profession is homemaking. When she finished college, +she was naturally eager to start on her career, and Henry +presented himself. Her family scanned him closely, and found him +perfect in every respect--good family, good morals, good +financial position, good looking. Helen was in love with him. +She had a big wedding and lots of new clothes and dozens of +embroidered towels. Everything looked propitious. + +But as they began to get acquainted, they didn't like the +same books or jokes or people or amusements. He was expansive +and social and hilarious, and she wasn't. First they bored, and +then they irritated, each other. Her orderliness made him +impatient, and his disorderliness drove her wild. She would +spend a day getting closets and bureau drawers in order, and in +five minutes he would stir them into chaos. He would leave his +clothes about for her to pick up, and his towels in a messy heap +on the bathroom floor, and he never scrubbed out the tub. And +she, on her side, was awfully unresponsive and irritating,--she +realized it fully,--she got to the point where she wouldn't laugh +at his jokes. + +I suppose most old-fashioned, orthodox people would think it +awful to break up a marriage on such innocent grounds. It seemed +so to me at first; but as she went on piling up detail on +detail each trivial in itself, but making a mountainous total, I +agreed with Helen that it was awful to keep it going. It wasn't +really a marriage; it was a mistake. + +So one morning at breakfast, when the subject of what they +should do for the summer came up, she said quite casually that +she thought she would go West and get a residence in some State +where you could get a divorce for a respectable cause; and for +the first time in months he agreed with her. + +You can imagine the outraged feelings of her Victorian +family. In all the seven generations of their sojourn in America +they have never had anything like this to record in the family +Bible. It all comes from sending her to college and letting her +read such dreadful modern people as Ellen Key and Bernard Shaw. + +"If he had only got drunk and dragged me about by the hair," +Helen wailed, "it would have been legitimate; but because we +didn't actually throw things at each other, no one could see any +reason for a divorce." + +The pathetic part of the whole business is that both she and +Henry were admirably fitted to make some one else happy. They +just simply didn't match each other; and when two people don't +match, all the ceremonies in the world can't marry them. + + Saturday morning. + + +I meant to get this letter off two days ago; and here I am +with volumes written, but nothing mailed. + +We've just had one of those miserable deceiving nights--cold +and frosty when you go to bed, and warm and lifeless when you +wake in the dark, smothered under a mountain of blankets. By the +time I had removed my own extra covers and plumped up my pillow +and settled comfortably, I thought of those fourteen bundled-up +babies in the fresh-air nursery. Their so-called night nurse +sleeps like a top the whole night through. (Her name is +next on the list to be expunged.) So I roused myself again, and +made a little blanket removing tour, and by the time I had +finished I was forever awake. It is not often that I pass a NUIT +BLANCHE; but when I do, I settle world problems. Isn't it funny +how much keener your mind is when you are lying awake in the +dark? + +I began thinking about Helen Brooks, and I planned her whole +life over again. I don't know why her miserable story has taken +such a hold over me. It's a disheartening subject for an engaged +girl to contemplate. I keep saying to myself, what if Gordon and +I, when we really get acquainted, should change our minds about +liking each other? The fear grips my heart and wrings it dry. +But I am marrying him for no reason in the world except +affection. I'm not particularly ambitious. Neither his position +nor his money ever tempted me in the least. And certainly I am +not doing it to find my life work, for in order to marry I am +having to give up the work that I love. I really do love this +work. I go about planning and planning their baby futures, +feeling that I'm constructing the nation. Whatever becomes of me +in after life, I am sure I'll be the more capable for having had +this tremendous experience. And it IS a tremendous experience, +the nearness to humanity that an asylum brings. I am learning so +many new things every day that when each Saturday night comes I +look back on the Sallie of last Saturday night, amazed at her +ignorance. + +You know I am developing a funny old characteristic; I am +getting to hate change. I don't like the prospect of having my +life disrupted. I used to love the excitement of volcanoes, but +now a high level plateau is my choice in landscape. I am very +comfortable where I am. My desk and closet and bureau drawers +are organized to suit me; and, oh, I dread unspeakably the +thought of the upheaval that is going to happen to me next year! +Please don't imagine that I don't care for Gordon quite as much +as any man has a right to be cared for. It isn't that I +like him any the less, but I am getting to like orphans the more. + +I just met our medical adviser a few minutes ago as he was +emerging from the nursery--Allegra is the only person in the +institution who is favored by his austere social attentions. He +paused in passing to make a polite comment upon the sudden change +in the weather, and to express the hope that I would remember him +to Mrs. Pendleton when I wrote. + +This is a miserable letter to send off on its travels, with +scarcely a word of the kind of news that you like to hear. But +our bare little orphan asylum up in the hills must seem awfully +far away from the palms and orange groves and lizards and +tarantulas that you are enjoying. + +Have a good time, and don't forget the John Grier Home + + and + + SALLIE. + + + December 11. +Dear Judy: + +Your Jamaica letter is here, and I'm glad to learn that Judy, +Junior, enjoys traveling. Write me every detail about your +house, and send some photographs, so I can see you in it. What +fun it must be to have a boat of your own that chugs about those +entertaining seas! Have you worn all of your eighteen white +dresses yet? And aren't you glad now that I made you wait about +buying a Panama hat till you reached Kingston? + +We are running along here very much as usual without anything +exciting to chronicle. You remember little Maybelle Fuller, +don't you--the chorus girl's daughter whom our doctor doesn't +like? We have placed her out. I tried to make the woman take +Hattie Heaphy instead,--the quiet little one who stole the +communion cup,--but no, indeed! Maybelle's eyelashes won the +day. After all, as poor Marie says, the chief thing is to be +pretty. All else in life depends on that. + +When I got home last week, after my dash to New York, I made +a brief speech to the children. I told them that I had just been +seeing Aunt Judy off on a big ship, and I am embarrassed to have +to report that the interest--at least on the part of the boys-- +immediately abandoned Aunt Judy and centered upon the ship. How +many tons of coal did she burn a day? Was she long enough to +reach from the carriage house to the Indian camp? Were there any +guns aboard, and if a privateer should attack her, could she hold +her own? In case of a mutiny, could the captain shoot down +anybody he chose, and wouldn't he be hanged when he got to shore? + +I had ignominiously to call upon Sandy to finish my speech. I +realize that the best-equipped feminine mind in the world +can't cope with the peculiar class of questions that originate in +a thirteen-year boy's brain. + +As a result of their seafaring interest, the doctor conceived +the idea of inviting seven of the oldest and most alert lads to +spend the day with him in New York and see with their own eyes an +oceanliner. They rose at five yesterday morning, caught the 7:30 +train, and had the most wonderful adventure that has happened in +all their seven lives. They visited one of the big liners (Sandy +knows the Scotch engineer), and were conducted from the bottom of +the hold to the top of the crow's-nest, and then had luncheon on +board. And after luncheon they visited the aquarium and the top +of the Singer Building, and took the subway uptown to spend an +hour with the birds of America in their habitats. Sandy with +great difficulty pried them away from the Natural History Museum +in time to catch the 6:15 train. Dinner in the dining-car. They +inquired with great particularity how much it was costing, and +when they heard that it was the same, no matter how much you ate, +they drew deep breaths and settled quietly and steadily to the +task of not allowing their host to be cheated. The railroad made +nothing on that party, and all the tables around stopped eating +to stare. One traveler asked the doctor if it was a boarding +school he had in charge; so you can see how the manners and +bearing of our lads have picked up. I don't wish to boast, but +no one would ever have asked such a question concerning seven of +Mrs. Lippett's youngsters. "Are they bound for a reformatory?" +would have been the natural question after observing the table +manners of her offspring. + +My little band tumbled in toward ten o'clock, excitedly +babbling a mess of statistics about reciprocating compound +engines and watertight bulkheads, devil-fish and sky-scrapers and +birds of paradise. I thought I should never get them to bed. +And, oh, but they had had a glorious day! I do wish I could +manage breaks in the routine oftener. It gives them a new +outlook on life and makes them more like normal children. Wasn't +it really nice of Sandy? But you should have seen that man's +behavior when I tried to thank him. He waved me aside in the +middle of a sentence, and growlingly asked Miss Snaith if she +couldn't economize a little on carbolic acid. The house smelt +like a hospital. + +I must tell you that Punch is back with us again, entirely +renovated as to manners. I am looking for a family to adopt him. + +I had hoped those two intelligent spinsters would see their way +to keeping him forever, but they want to travel, and they feel +he's too consuming of their liberty. I inclose a sketch in +colored chalk of your steamer, which he has just completed. +There is some doubt as to the direction in which it is going; it +looks as though it might progress backward and end in Brooklyn. +Owing to the loss of my blue pencil, our flag has had to adopt +the Italian colors. + +The three figures on the bridge are you and Jervis and the +baby. I am pained to note that you carry your daughter by the +back of her neck, as if she were a kitten. That is not the way +we handle babies in the J. G. H. nursery. Please also note that +the artist has given Jervis his full due in the matter of legs. +When I asked Punch what had become of the captain, he said that +the captain was inside, putting coal on the fire. Punch was +terribly impressed, as well he might be, when he heard that your +steamer burned three hundred wagonloads a day, and he naturally +supposed that all hands had been piped to the stokehole. + +BOW! WOW! + +That's a bark from Sing. I told him I was writing to you, +and he responded instantly. + +We both send love. + + Yours, + + SALLIE. + + + THE JOHN GRIER HOME, + + Saturday. +Dear Enemy: + +You were so terribly gruff last night when I tried to thank you +for giving my boys such a wonderful day that I didn't have a +chance to express half of the appreciation I felt. + +What on earth is the matter with you, Sandy? You used to be +a tolerably nice man--in spots, but these last three or four +months you have only been nice to other people, never to me. We +have had from the first a long series of misunderstandings +and foolish contretemps, but after each one we seemed to reach a +solider basis of understanding, until I had thought our +friendship was on a pretty firm foundation, capable of +withstanding any reasonable shock. + +And then came that unfortunate evening last June when you +overheard some foolish impolitenesses, which I did not in the +slightest degree mean; and from then on you faded into the +distance. Really, I have felt terribly bad about it, and have +wanted to apologize, but your manner has not been inviting of +confidence. It isn't that I have any excuse or explanation to +offer; I haven't. You know how foolish and silly I am on +occasions, but you will just have to realize that though I'm +flippant and foolish and trivial on top, I am pretty solid +inside; and you've got to forgive the silly part. The Pendletons +knew that long ago, or they wouldn't have sent me up here. I +have tried hard to pull off an honest job, partly because I +wanted to justify their judgment, partly because I was really +interested in giving the poor little kiddies their share of +happiness, but mostly, I actually believe, because I wanted to +show you that your first derogatory opinion of me was ill +founded. Won't you please expunge that unfortunate fifteen +minutes at the porte-cochere last June, and remember instead the +fifteen hours I spent reading the Kallikak Family? + +I would like to feel that we're friends again. + + SALLIE McBRIDE. + + + THE JOHN GRIER HOME, + + Sunday. + +Dear Dr. MacRae: + +I am in receipt of your calling card with an eleven-word answer +to my letter on the back. I didn't mean to annoy you by my +attentions. What you think and how you behave are really matters +of extreme indifference to me. Be just as impolite as you +choose. + + S. McB. + + + December 14. +Dear Judy: + +PLEASE pepper your letters with stamps, inside and out. I have +thirty collectors in the family. Since you have taken to travel, +every day about post time an eager group gathers at the gate, +waiting to snatch any letters of foreign design, and by the time +the letters reach me they are almost in shreds through the +tenacity of rival snatchers. Tell Jervis to send us some more of +those purple pine trees from Honduras; likewise some green +parrots from Guatemala. I could use a pint of them! + +Isn't it wonderful to have got these apathetic little things +so enthusiastic? My children are getting to be almost like real +children. B dormitory started a pillow fight last night of its +own accord; and though it was very wearing to our scant supply of +linen, I stood by and beamed, and even tossed a pillow +myself. + +Last Saturday those two desirable friends of Percy's spent +the whole afternoon playing with my boys. They brought up three +rifles, and each man took the lead of a camp of Indians, and +passed the afternoon in a bottle shooting contest, with a prize +for the winning camp. They brought the prize with them--an +atrocious head of an Indian painted on leather. Dreadful taste; +but the men thought it lovely, so I admired it with all the ardor +I could assume. + +When they had finished, I warmed them up with cookies and hot +chocolate, and I really think the men enjoyed it as much as the +boys; they undoubtedly enjoyed it more than I did. I couldn't +help being in a feminine twitter all the time the firing was +going on for fear somebody would shoot somebody else. But I know +that I can't keep twenty-four Indians tied to my apron strings, +and I never could find in the whole wide world three nicer men to +take an interest in them. + +Just think of all that healthy, exuberant volunteer service +going to waste under the asylum's nose! I suppose the +neighborhood is full of plenty more of it, and I am going to make +it my business to dig it out. + +What I want most are about eight nice, pretty, sensible young +women to come up here one night a week, and sit before the fire +and tell stories while the chicks pop corn. I do so want to +contrive a little individual petting for my babies. You see, +Judy, I am remembering your own childhood, and am trying hard to +fill in the gaps. + +The trustees' meeting last week went beautifully. The new +women are most helpful, and only the nice men came. I am happy +to announce that the Hon. Cy Wykoff is visiting his married +daughter in Scranton. I wish she would invite father to live +with her permanently. + + + Wednesday. + + +I am in the most childish temper with the doctor, and for no +very definite reason. He keeps along his even, unemotional way +without paying the slightest attention to anything or anybody. I +have swallowed more slights during these last few months than in +the whole of my life before, and I'm developing the most +shockingly revengeful nature. I spend all my spare time planning +situations in which he will be terribly hurt and in need of my +help, and in which 1, with the utmost callousness, will +shrug my shoulders and turn away. I am growing into a person +entirely foreign to the sweet, sunny young thing you used to +know. + + + Evening. + + +Do you realize that I am an authority on the care of +dependent children? Tomorrow I and other authorities visit +officially the Hebrew Sheltering Guardian Society's Orphan Asylum +at Pleasantville. (All that's its name!) It's a terribly +difficult and roundabout journey from this point, involving a +daybreak start and two trains and an automobile. But if I'm to +be an authority, I must live up to the title. I'm keen about +looking over other institutions and gleaning as many ideas as +possible against our own alterations next year. And this +Pleasantville asylum is an architectural model. + +I acknowledge now, upon sober reflection, that we were wise +to postpone extensive building operations until next summer. Of +course I was disappointed, because it meant that I won't be the +center of the ripping-up, and I do so love to be the center of +ripping-ups! But, anyway, you'll take my advice, even though I'm +no longer an official head? The two building details we did +accomplish are very promising. Our new laundry grows better and +better; it has removed from us that steamy smell so dear to +asylums. The farmer's cottage will finally be ready for +occupancy next week. All it now lacks is a coat of paint and +some doorknobs. + +But, oh dear! oh dear! another bubble has burst! Mrs +Turnfelt, for all her comfortable figure and sunny smile, hates +to have children messing about. They make her nervous. And as +for Turnfelt himself, though industrious and methodical and an +excellent gardener, still, his mental processes are not quite +what I had hoped for. When he first came, I made him free of the +library. He began at the case nearest the door, which +contains thirty-seven volumes of Pansy's works. Finally, +after he had spent four months on Pansy, I suggested a change, +and sent him home with "Huckleberry Finn." But he brought it +back in a few days, and shook his head. He says that after +reading Pansy, anything else seems tame. I am afraid I shall +have to look about for some one a little more up-and-coming. But +at least, compared with Sterry, Turnfelt is a scholard! + +And speaking of Sterry, he paid us a social call a few days +ago, in quite a chastened frame of mind. It seems that the "rich +city feller" whose estate he has been managing no longer needs +his services; and Sterry has graciously consented to return to us +and let the children have gardens if they wish. I kindly, but +convincingly, declined his offer. + + + Friday. + + +I came back from Pleasantville last night with a heart full +of envy. Please, Mr. President, I want some gray stucco +cottages, with Luca della Robbia figures baked into the front. +They have nearly 700 children there, and all sizable youngsters. +Of course that makes a very different problem from my hundred and +seven, ranging from babyhood up. But I borrowed from their +superintendent several very fancy ideas. I'm dividing my chicks +into big and little sisters and brothers, each big one to have a +little one to love and help and fight for. Big sister Sadie Kate +has to see that little sister Gladiola always has her hair neatly +combed and her stockings pulled up and knows her lessons and gets +a touch of petting and her share of candy--very pleasant for +Gladiola, but especially developing for Sadie Kate. + +Also I am going to start among our older children a limited +form of self-government such as we had in college. That will +help fit them to go out into the world and govern themselves when +they get there. This shoving children into the world at the +age of sixteen seems terribly merciless. Five of my children are +ready to be shoved, but I can't bring myself to do it. I keep +remembering my own irresponsible silly young self, and wondering +what would have happened to me had I been turned out to work at +the age of sixteen! + +I must leave you now to write an interesting letter to my +politician in Washington, and it's hard work. What have I to say +that will interest a politician? I can't do anything any more +but babble about babies, and he wouldn't care if every baby was +swept from the face of the earth. Oh, yes, he would, too! I'm +afraid I'm slandering him. Babies--at least boy babies--grow +into voters. + + Good-by, + + SALLIE. + + +Dearest Judy: + +If you expect a cheerful letter from me the day, don't read this. + +The life of man is a wintry road. Fog, snow, rain, slush, +drizzle, cold--such weather! such weather! And you in dear +Jamaica with the sunshine and the orange blossoms! + +We've got whooping cough, and you can hear us whoop when you +get off the train two miles away. We don't know how we got it-- +just one of the pleasures of institution life. Cook has left,-- +in the night,--what the Scotch call a "moonlight flitting." I +don't know how she got her trunk away, but it's gone. The +kitchen fire went with her. The pipes are frozen. The plumbers +are here, and the kitchen floor is all ripped up. One of our +horses has the spavin. And, to crown all, our cheery, +resourceful Percy is down, down, down in the depths of despair. +We have not been quite certain for three days past whether +we could keep him from suicide. The girl in Detroit,--I knew she +was a heartless little minx,--without so much as going through +the formality of sending back his ring, has gone and married +herself to a man and a couple of automobiles and a yacht. It is +the best thing that could ever have happened to Percy, but it +will be a long, long time before he realizes it. + +We have our twenty-four Indians back in the house with us. I +was sorry to have to bring them in, but the shacks were scarcely +planned for winter quarters. I have stowed them away very +comfortably, however, thanks to the spacious iron verandas +surrounding our new fire-escape. It was a happy idea of Jervis's +having them glassed in for sleeping porches. The babies' sun +parlor is a wonderful addition to our nursery. We can fairly see +the little tots bloom under the influence of that extra air and +sunshine. + +With the return of the Indians to civilized life, Percy's +occupation was ended, and he was supposed to remove himself to +the hotel. But he didn't want to remove himself. He has got +used to orphans, he says, and he would miss not seeing them +about. I think the truth is that he is feeling so miserable over +his wrecked engagement that he is afraid to be alone. He needs +something to occupy every waking moment out of banking hours. +And goodness knows we're glad enough to keep him! He has been +wonderful with those youngsters, and they need a man's influence. + +But what on earth to do with the man? As you discovered last +summer, this spacious chateau does not contain a superabundance +of guest rooms. He has finally fitted himself into the doctor's +laboratory, and the medicines have moved themselves to a closet +down the hall. He and the doctor fixed it up between them, and +if they are willing to be mutually inconvenienced, I have no +fault to find. + +Mercy! I've just looked at the calendar, and it's the +eighteenth, with Christmas only a week away. However shall we +finish all our plans in a week? The chicks are making +presents for one another, and something like a thousand +secrets have been whispered in my ear. + +Snow last night. The boys have spent the morning in the +woods, gathering evergreens and drawing them home on sleds; and +twenty girls are spending the afternoon in the laundry, winding +wreaths for the windows. I don't know how we are going to do our +washing this week. We were planning to keep the Christmas tree a +secret, but fully fifty children have been boosted up to the +carriage house window to take a peep at it, and I am afraid the +news has spread among the remaining fifty. + +At your insistence, we have sedulously fostered the Santa +Claus myth, but it doesn't meet with much credence. "Why didn't +he ever come before?" was Sadie Kate's skeptical question. But +Santa Claus is undoubtedly coming this time. I asked the doctor, +out of politeness, to play the chief role at our Christmas tree; +and being certain ahead of time that he was going to refuse, I +had already engaged Percy as an understudy. But there is no +counting on a Scotchman. Sandy accepted with unprecedented +graciousness, and I had privately to unengage Percy! + + + Tuesday. + + +Isn't it funny, the way some inconsequential people have of +pouring out whatever happens to be churning about in their minds +at the moment? They seem to have no residue of small talk, and +are never able to dismiss a crisis in order to discuss the +weather. + +This is apropos of a call I received today. A woman had come +to deliver her sister's child--sister in a sanatorium for +tuberculosis; we to keep the child until the mother is cured, +though I fear, from what I hear, that will never be. But, +anyway, all the arrangements had been made, and the woman +had merely to hand in the little girl and retire. But having a +couple of hours between trains, she intimated a desire to look +about, so I showed her the kindergarten rooms and the little crib +that Lily will occupy, and our yellow dining room, with its +frieze of bunnies, in order that she might report as many +cheerful details as possible to the poor mother. After this, as +she seemed tired, I socially asked her to walk into my parlor and +have a cup of tea. Doctor MacRae, being at hand and in a hungry +mood (a rare state for him; he now condescends to a cup of tea +with the officers of this institution about twice a month), came, +too, and we had a little party. + +The woman seemed to feel that the burden of entertainment +rested upon her, and by way of making conversation, she told us +that her husband had fallen in love with the girl who sold +tickets at a moving picture show (a painted, yellow-haired thing +who chewed gum like a cow, was her description of the +enchantress), and he spent all of his money on the girl, and +never came home except when he was drunk. Then he smashed the +furniture something awful. An easel, with her mother's picture +on it, that she had had since before she was married, he had +thrown down just for the pleasure of hearing it crash. And +finally she had just got too tired to live, so she drank a bottle +of swamp root because somebody had told her it was poison if you +took it all at once. But it didn't kill her; it only made her +sick. And he came back, and said he would choke her if she ever +tried that on him again; so she guessed he must still care +something for her. All this quite casually while she stirred her +tea. + +I tried to think of something to say, but it was a social +exigency that left me dumb. But Sandy rose to the occasion like +a gentleman. He talked to her beautifully and sanely, and sent +her away actually uplifted. Our Sandy, when he tries, can +be exceptionally nice, particularly to people who have no claim +upon him. I suppose it is a matter of professional etiquette-- +part of a doctor's business to heal the spirit as well as the +body. Most spirits appear to need it in this world. My caller +has left me needing it. I have been wondering ever since what I +should do if I married a man who deserted me for a chewing gum +girl, and who came home and smashed the bric-a-brac. I suppose, +judging from the theaters this winter, that it is a thing that +might happen to any one, particularly in the best society. + +You ought to be thankful you've got Jervis. There is +something awfully certain about a man like him. The longer I +live, the surer I am that character is the only thing that +counts. But how on earth can you ever tell? Men are so good at +talking! Good-by, and a merry Christmas to Jervis and both +Judies. + + S. McB. + +P.S. It would be a pleasant attention if you would answer my +letters a little more promptly. + + + JOHN GRIER HOME, + + December 29. +Dear Judy: + +Sadie Kate has spent the week composing a Christmas letter to +you, and it leaves nothing for me to tell. Oh, we've had a +wonderful time! Besides all the presents and games and fancy +things to eat, we have had hayrides and skating parties and candy +pulls. I don't know whether these pampered little orphans will +ever settle down again into normal children. + +Many thanks for my six gifts. I like them all, particularly +the picture of Judy, junior; the tooth adds a pleasant touch +to her smile. + +You'll be glad to hear that I've placed out Hattie Heaphy in +a minister's family, and a dear family they are. They never +blinked an eyelash when I told them about the communion cup. +They've given her to themselves for a Christmas present, and she +went off so happily, clinging to her new father's hand! + +I won't write more now, because fifty children are writing +thank-you letters, and poor Aunt Judy will be buried beneath her +mail when this week's steamer gets in. + +My love to the Pendletons. + + S. McB. + +P.S. Singapore ends his love to Togo, and is sorry he bit him on +the ear. + + + JOHN GRIER HOME, + + December 30. + +O DEAR, Gordon, I have been reading the most upsetting book! + +I tried to talk some French the other day, and not making out +very well, decided that I had better take my French in hand if I +didn't want to lose it entirely. That Scotch doctor of ours has +mercifully abandoned my scientific education, so I have a little +time at my own disposal. By some unlucky chance I began with +"Numa Roumestan," by Daudet. It is a terribly disturbing book +for a girl to read who is engaged to a politician. Read it, +Gordon dear, and assiduously train your character away from +Numa's. It's the story of a politician who is disquietingly +fascinating (like you). Who is adored by all who know him (like +you). Who has a most persuasive way of talking and makes +wonderful speeches (again like you). He is worshiped by +everybody, and they all say to his wife, "What a happy life you +must lead, knowing so intimately that wonderful man!" + +But he wasn't very wonderful when he came home to her--only +when he had an audience and applause. He would drink with every +casual acquaintance, and be gay and bubbling and expansive; and +then return morose and sullen and down. "Joie de rue, douleur de +maison," is the burden of the book. + +I read it till twelve last night, and honestly I didn't sleep +for being scared. I know you'll be angry, but really and truly, +Gordon dear, there's just a touch too much truth in it for my +entire amusement. I didn't mean ever to refer again to that +unhappy matter of August 20,--we talked it all out at the time,-- +but you know perfectly that you need a bit of watching. And I +don't like the idea. I want to have a feeling of absolute +confidence and stability about the man I marry. I never could +live in a state of anxious waiting for him to come home. + +Read "Numa" for yourself, and you'll see the woman's point of +view. I'm not patient or meek or long-suffering in any way, and +I'm a little afraid of what I'm capable of doing if I have the +provocation. My heart has to be in a thing in order to make it +work, and, oh, I do so want our marriage to work! + +Please forgive me for writing all this. I don't mean that I +really think you'll be a "joy of the street, and sorrow of the +home." It's just that I didn't sleep last night, and I feel sort +of hollow behind the eyes. + +May the year that's coming bring good counsel and happiness +and tranquillity to both of us! + + As ever, + + S. + + January 1. +Dear Judy: + +Something terribly sort of queer has happened, and positively I +don't know whether it did happen or whether I dreamed it. I'll +tell you from the beginning, and I think it might be as well if +you burned this letter; it's not quite proper for Jervis's eyes. + +You remember my telling you the case of Thomas Kehoe, whom we +placed out last June? He had an alcoholic heredity on both +sides, and as a baby seems to have been fattened on beer instead +of milk. He entered the John Grier at the age of nine, and +twice, according to his record in the Doomsday Book, he managed +to get himself intoxicated, once on beer stolen from some +workmen, and once (and thoroughly) on cooking brandy. You can +see with what misgivings we placed him out. But we warned the +family (hard-working temperate farming people) and hoped for the +best. + +Yesterday the family telegraphed that they could keep him no +longer. Would I please meet him on the six o'clock train? +Turnfelt met the six o'clock train. No boy. I sent a night +message telling of his non-arrival and asking for particulars. + +I stayed up later than usual last night putting my desk in +order and--sort of making up my mind to face the New Year. +Toward twelve I suddenly realized that the hour was late and that +I was very tired. I had begun getting ready for bed when I was +startled by a banging on the front door. I stuck my head out of +the window and demanded who was there. + +"Tommy Kehoe," said a very shaky voice. + +I went down and opened the door, and that lad, sixteen years +old, tumbled in, dead drunk. Thank Heaven! Percy +Witherspoon was within call, and not away off in the Indian camp. + +I roused him, and together we conveyed Thomas to our guest room, +the only decently isolated spot in the building. Then I +telephoned for the doctor, who, I am afraid, had already had a +long day. He came, and we put in a pretty terrible night. It +developed afterward that the boy had brought along with his +luggage a bottle of liniment belonging to his employer. It was +made half of alcohol and half of witch hazel; and Thomas had +refreshed his journey with this! + +He was in such shape that positively I didn't think we'd pull +him through--and I hoped we wouldn't. If I were a physician, I'd +let such cases gently slip away for the good of society; but you +should have seen Sandy work! That terrible lifesaving instinct +of his was aroused, and he fought with every inch of energy he +possessed. + +I made black coffee, and helped all I could, but the details +were pretty messy, and I left the two men to deal with him alone +and went back to my room. But I didn't attempt to go to bed; I +was afraid they might be wanting me again. Toward four o'clock +Sandy came to my library with word that the boy was asleep and +that Percy had moved up a cot and would sleep in his room the +rest of the night. Poor Sandy looked sort of ashen and haggard +and done with life. As I looked at him, I thought about how +desperately he worked to save others, and never saved himself, +and about that dismal home of his, with never a touch of cheer, +and the horrible tragedy in the background of his life. All the +rancor I've been saving up seemed to vanish, and a wave of +sympathy swept over me. I stretched my hand out to him; he +stretched his out to me. And suddenly--I don't know--something +electric happened. In another moment we were in each other's +arms. He loosened my hands, and put me down in the big armchair. + +"My God! Sallie, do you think I'm made of iron?" he said and +walked out. I went to sleep in the chair, and when I woke the +sun was shining in my eyes and Jane was standing over me in +amazed consternation. + +This morning at eleven he came back, looked me coldly in the +eye without so much as the flicker of an eyelash, and told me +that Thomas was to have hot milk every two hours and that the +spots in Maggie Peters's throat must be watched. + +Here we are back on our old standing, and positively I don't +know but what I dreamed that one minute in the night! + +But it would be a piquant situation, wouldn't it, if Sandy +and I should discover that we were falling in love with each +other, he with a perfectly good wife in the insane asylum and I +with an outraged fiance in Washington? I don't know but what the +wisest thing for me to do is to resign at once and take myself +home, where I can placidly settle down to a few months of +embroidering "S McB" on table-cloths, like any other respectable +engaged girl. + +I repeat very firmly that this letter isn't for Jervis's +consumption. Tear it into little pieces and scatter them in the +Caribbean. + + S. + + + + January 3. +Dear Gordon: + +You are right to be annoyed. I know I'm not a satisfactory love +letter writer. I have only to glance at the published +correspondence of Elizabeth Barrett and Robert Browning to +realize that the warmth of my style is not up to standard. But +you know already--you have known a long time--that I am not a +very emotional person. I suppose I might write a lot of such +things as: "Every waking moment you are in my thoughts." +"My dear boy, I only live when you are near." But it wouldn't be +absolutely true. You don't fill all my thoughts; 107 orphans do +that. And I really am quite comfortably alive whether you are +here or not. I have to be natural. You surely don't want me to +pretend more desolation than I feel. But I do love to see you,-- +you know that perfectly,--and I am disappointed when you can't +come. I fully appreciate all your charming qualities, but, my +dear boy, I CAN'T be sentimental on paper. I am always thinking +about the hotel chambermaid who reads the letters you casually +leave on your bureau. You needn't expostulate that you carry +them next your heart, for I know perfectly well that you don't. + +Forgive me for that last letter if it hurt your feelings. +Since I came to this asylum I am extremely touchy on the subject +of drink. You would be, too, if you had seen what I have seen. +Several of my chicks are the sad result of alcoholic parents, and +they are never going to have a fair chance all their lives. You +can't look about a place like this without "aye keeping up a +terrible thinking." + +You are right, I am afraid, about its being a woman's trick +to make a great show of forgiving a man, and then never letting +him hear the end of it. Well, Gordon, I positively don't know +what the word "forgiving" means. It can't include "forgetting," +for that is a physiological process, and does not result from an +act of the will. We all have a collection of memories that we +would happily lose, but somehow those are just the ones that +insist upon sticking. If "forgiving" means promising never to +speak of a thing again, I can doubtless manage that. But it +isn't always the wisest way to shut an unpleasant memory inside +you. It grows and grows, and runs all through you like a poison. + +Oh dear! I really didn't mean to be saying all this. I try +to be the cheerful, carefree (and somewhat light-headed) Sallie +you like best; but I've come in touch with a great deal of +REALNESS during this last year, and I'm afraid I've grown into a +very different person from the girl you fell in love with. I'm +no longer a gay young thing playing with life. I know it pretty +thoroughly now, and that means that I can't be always laughing. + +I know this is another beastly uncheerful letter,--as bad as +the last, and maybe worse,--but if you knew what we've just been +through! A boy--sixteen--of unspeakable heredity has nearly +poisoned himself with a disgusting mixture of alcohol and witch +hazel. We have been working three days over him, and are just +sure now that he is going to recuperate sufficiently to do it +again! "It's a gude warld, but they're ill that's in 't." + +Please excuse that Scotch--it slipped out. Please excuse +everything. + + SALLIE. + + + January 11. +Dear Judy: + +I hope my two cablegrams didn't give you too terrible a shock. I +would have waited to let the first news come by letter, with a +chance for details, but I was so afraid you might hear it in some +indirect way. The whole thing is dreadful enough, but no lives +were lost, and only one serious accident. We can't help +shuddering at the thought of how much worse it might have been, +with over a hundred sleeping children in this firetrap of a +building. That new fire escape was absolutely useless. The wind +was blowing toward it, and the flames simply enveloped it. We +saved them all by the center stairs--but I'll begin at the +beginning, and tell the whole story. + +It had rained all day Friday, thanks to a merciful +Providence, and the roofs were thoroughly soaked. Toward +night it began to freeze, and the rain turned to sleet. By ten +o'clock, when I went to bed the wind was blowing a terrible gale +from the northwest, and everything loose about the building was +banging and rattling. About two o'clock I suddenly started wide +awake, with a bright light in my eyes. I jumped out of bed and +ran to the window. The carriage house was a mass of flames, and +a shower of sparks was sweeping over our eastern wing. I ran to +the bathroom and leaned out of the window. I could see that the +roof over the nursery was already blazing in half a dozen +places. + +Well, my dear, my heart just simply didn't beat for as much +as a minute. I thought of those seventeen babies up under that +roof, and I couldn't swallow. I finally managed to get my +shaking knees to work again, and I dashed back to the hall, +grabbing my automobile coat as I ran. + +I drummed on Betsy's and Miss Matthews' and Miss Snaith's +doors, just as Mr. Witherspoon, who had also been wakened by the +light, came tumbling upstairs three steps at a time, struggling +into an overcoat as he ran. + +"Get all the children down to the dining room, babies first," +I gasped. "I'll turn in the alarm." + +He dashed on up to the third floor while I ran to the +telephone--and oh, I thought I'd never get Central! She was +sound asleep. + +"The John Grier Home is burning! Turn in the fire alarm and +rouse the village. Give me 505," I said. + +In one second I had the doctor. Maybe I wasn't glad to hear +his cool, unexcited voice! + +"We're on fire!" I cried. "Come quick, and bring all the men +you can!" + +"I'll be there in fifteen minutes. Fill the bathtubs with +water and put in blankets." And he hung up. + +I dashed back to the hall. Betsy was ringing our fire bell, +and Percy had already routed out his Indian tribes in dormitories +B and C. + +Our first thought was not to stop the fire, but to get the +children to a place of safety. We began in G, and went from crib +to crib, snatching a baby and a blanket, and rushing them to the +door, and handing them out to the Indians, who lugged them +downstairs. Both G and F were full of smoke, and the children so +dead asleep that we couldn't rouse them to a walking state. + +Many times during the next hour did I thank Providence--and +Percy Witherspoon--for those vociferous fire drills we have +suffered weekly. The twenty-four oldest boys, under his +direction, never lost their heads for a second. They divided +into four tribes, and sprang to their posts like little soldiers. + +Two tribes helped in the work of clearing the dormitories and +keeping the terrified children in order. One tribe worked the +hose from the cupola tank until the firemen came, and the rest +devoted themselves to salvage. They spread sheets on the floor, +dumped the contents of lockers and bureau drawers into them, and +bundled them down the stairs. All of the extra clothes were +saved except those the children had actually been wearing the day +before, and most of the staff's things. But clothes, bedding-- +everything belonging to G and F went. The rooms were too full of +smoke to make it safe to enter after we had got out the last +child. + +By the time the doctor arrived with Luellen and two neighbors +he had picked up, we were marching the last dormitory down to the +kitchen, the most remote corner from the fire. The poor chicks +were mainly barefooted and wrapped in blankets. We told them to +bring their clothes when we wakened them, but in their fright +they thought only of getting out. + +By this time the halls were so full of smoke we could +scarcely breathe. It looked as though the whole building would +go, though the wind was blowing away from my west wing. + +Another automobile full of retainers from Knowltop came up +almost immediately, and they all fell to fighting the fire. The +regular fire department didn't come for ten minutes after that. +You see, they have only horses, and we are three miles out, and +the roads pretty bad. It was a dreadful night, cold and sleety, +and such a wind blowing that you could scarcely stand up. The +men climbed out on the roof, and worked in their stocking feet to +keep from slipping off. They beat out the sparks with wet +blankets, and chopped, and squirted that tankful of water, and +behaved like heroes. + +The doctor meanwhile took charge of the children. Our +first thought was to get them away to a place of safety, for if +the whole building should go, we couldn't march them out of doors +into that awful wind, with only their night clothes and blankets +for protection. By this time several more automobiles full of +men had come, and we requisitioned the cars. + +Knowltop had providentially been opened for the week end in +order to entertain a house party in honor of the old gentleman's +sixty-seventh birthday. He was one of the first to arrive, and +he put his entire place at our disposal. It was the nearest +refuge, and we accepted it instantaneously. We bundled our +twenty littlest tots into cars, and ran them down to the house. +The guests, who were excitedly dressing in order to come to the +fire, received the chicks and tucked them away into their own +beds. This pretty well filled up all the available house room, +but Mr. Reimer (Mr. Knowltop's family name) has just built a big +new stucco barn, with a garage hitched to it, all nicely heated, +and ready for us. + +After the babies were disposed of in the house, those helpful +guests got to work and fixed the barn to receive the next older +kiddies. They covered the floor with hay, and spread blankets +and carriage robes over it, and bedded down thirty of the +children in rows like little calves. Miss Matthews and a nurse +went with them, administered hot milk all around, and within half +an hour the tots were sleeping as peacefully as in their little +cribs. + +But meanwhile we at the house were having sensations. The +doctor's first question upon arrival had been: + +"You've counted the children? You know they're all here?" + +"We've made certain that every dormitory was empty before we +left it," I replied. + +You see, they couldn't be counted in that confusion. Twenty +or so of the boys were still in the dormitories, working under +Percy Witherspoon to save clothing and furniture, and the older +girls were sorting over bushels of shoes and trying to fit +them to the little ones, who were running about underfoot and +wailing dismally. + +Well, after we had loaded and despatched about seven car +loads of children, the doctor suddenly called out: + +"Where's Allegra?" + +There was a horrified silence. No one had seen her. And +then Miss Snaith stood up and SHRIEKED. Betsy took her by the +shoulders, and shook her into coherence. + +It seems that she had thought Allegra was coming down with a +cough, and in order to get her out of the cold, had moved her +crib from the fresh air nursery into the store room--and then +forgotten it. + +Well, my dear, you know where the store room is! We simply +stared at one another with white faces. By this time the whole +east wing was gutted and the third-floor stairs in flames. There +didn't seem a chance that the child was still alive. The doctor +was the first to move. He snatched up a wet blanket that was +lying in a soppy pile on the floor of the hall and sprang for the +stairs. We yelled to him to come back. It simply looked like +suicide; but he kept on, and disappeared into the smoke. I +dashed outside and shouted to the firemen on the roof. The store +room window was too little for a man to go through, and they +hadn't opened it for fear of creating a draft. + +I can't describe what happened in the next agonizing ten +minutes. The third-floor stairs fell in with a crash and a burst +of flame about five seconds after the doctor passed over them. +We had given him up for lost when a shout went up from the crowd +on the lawn, and he appeared for an instant at one of those +dormer windows in the attic, and called for the firemen to put up +a ladder. Then he disappeared, and it seemed to us that they'd +never get that ladder in place; but they finally did, and two men +went up. The opening of the window had created a draft, and they +were almost overpowered by the volume of smoke that burst out at +the top. After an eternity the doctor appeared again with a +white bundle in his arms. He passed it out to the men, and then +he staggered back and dropped out of sight! + +I don't know what happened for the next few minutes; I turned +away and shut my eyes. Somehow or other they got him out and +halfway down the ladder, and then they let him slip. You see, he +was unconscious from all the smoke he'd swallowed, and the ladder +was slippery with ice and terribly wobbly. Anyway, when I looked +again he was lying in a heap on the ground, with the crowd all +running, and somebody yelling to give him air. They thought at +first he was dead. But Dr. Metcalf from the village examined +him, and said his leg was broken, and two ribs, and that aside +from that he seemed whole. He was still unconscious when they +put him on two of the baby mattresses that had been thrown out of +the windows and laid him in the wagon that brought the ladders +and started him home. + +And the rest of us, left behind, kept right on with the work +as though nothing had happened. The queer thing about a calamity +like this is that there is so much to be done on every side that +you don't have a moment to think, and you don't get any of your +values straightened out until afterward. The doctor, without a +moment's hesitation, had risked his life to save Allegra. It was +the bravest thing I ever saw, and yet the whole business occupied +only fifteen minutes out of that dreadful night. At the time, it +was just an incident. + +And he saved Allegra. She came out of that blanket with +rumpled hair and a look of pleased surprise at the new game of +peek-a-boo. She was smiling! The child's escape was little +short of a miracle. The fire had started within three feet of +her wall, but owing to the direction of the wind, it had worked +away from her. If Miss Snaith had believed a little more in +fresh air and had left the window open, the fire would have eaten +back. But fortunately Miss Snaith does not believe in fresh +air, and no such thing happened. If Allegra had gone, I never +should have forgiven myself for not letting the Bretlands take +her, and I know that Sandy wouldn't. + +Despite all the loss, I can't be anything but happy when I +think of the two horrible tragedies that have been averted. For +seven minutes, while the doctor was penned in that blazing third +floor, I lived through the agony of believing them both gone, and +I start awake in the night trembling with horror. + +But I'll try to tell you the rest. The firemen and the +volunteers--particularly the chauffeur and stablemen from +Knowltop--worked all night in an absolute frenzy. Our newest +negro cook, who is a heroine in her own right, went out and +started the laundry fire and made up a boilerful of coffee. It +was her own idea. The non-combatants served it to the firemen +when they relieved one another for a few minutes' rest, and it +helped. + +We got the remainder of the children off to various +hospitable houses, except the older boys, who worked all night as +well as any one. It was absolutely inspiring to see the way this +entire township turned out and helped. People who haven't +appeared to know that the asylum existed came in the middle of +the night and put their whole houses at our disposal. They took +the children in, gave them hot baths and hot soup, and tucked +them into bed. And so far as I can make out, not one of my one +hundred and seven chicks is any the worse for hopping about on +drenched floors in their bare feet, not even the whooping cough +cases. + +It was broad daylight before the fire was sufficiently under +control to let us know just what we had saved. I will report +that my wing is entirely intact, though a little smoky, and the +main corridor is pretty nearly all right up to the center +staircase; after that everything is charred and drenched. The +east wing is a blackened, roofless shell. Your hated Ward F, +dear Judy, is gone forever. I wish that you could obliterate it +from your mind as absolutely as it is obliterated from the +earth. Both in substance and in spirit the old John Grier +is done for. + +I must tell you something funny. I never saw so many funny +things in my life as happened through that night. When everybody +there was in extreme negligee, most of the men in pajamas and +ulsters, and all of them without collars, the Hon. Cyrus Wykoff +put in a tardy appearance, arrayed as for an afternoon tea. He +wore a pearl scarf pin and white spats! But he really was +extremely helpful. He put his entire house at our disposal, and +I turned over to him Miss Snaith in a state of hysterics; and her +nerves so fully occupied him that he didn't get in our way the +whole night through. + +I can't write any more details now; I've never been so rushed +in the whole of my life. I'll just assure you that there's no +slightest reason for you to cut your trip short. Five trustees +were on the spot early Saturday morning, and we are all working +like mad to get affairs into some semblance of order. Our asylum +at the present moment is scattered over the entire township; but +don't be unduly anxious. We know where all the children are. +None of them is permanently mislaid. I didn't know that perfect +strangers could be so kind. My opinion of the human race has +gone up. + +I haven't seen the doctor. They telegraphed to New York for +a surgeon, who set his leg. The break was pretty bad, and will +take time. They don't think there are any internal injuries, +though he is awfully battered up. As soon as we are allowed to +see him I will send more detailed particulars. I really must +stop if I am to catch tomorrow's steamer. + +Good-by. Don't worry. There are a dozen silver linings to +this cloud that I'll write about tomorrow. + + SALLIE. + + +Good heavens! here comes an automobile with J. F. Bretland in +it! + + + THE JOHN GRIER HOME, + + January 14. +Dear Judy: + +Listen to this! J. F. Bretland read about our fire in a New York +paper (I will say that the metropolitan press made the most of +details), and he posted up here in a twitter of anxiety. His +first question as he tumbled across our blackened threshold was, + +"Is Allegra safe?" + +"Yes," said I. + +"Thank God!" he cried, and dropped into a chair. "This is no +place for children," he said severely, "and I have come to take +her home. I want the boys, too," he added hastily before I had a +chance to speak. "My wife and I have talked it over, and we have +decided that since we are going to the trouble of starting a +nursery, we might as well run it for three as for one." + +I led him up to my library, where our little family has been +domiciled since the fire, and ten minutes later, when I was +called down to confer with the trustees, I left J. F. Bretland +with his new daughter on his knee and a son leaning against each +arm, the proudest father in the United States. + +So, you see, our fire has accomplished one thing: those three +children are settled for life. It is almost worth the loss. + +But I don't believe I told you how the fire started. There +are so many things I haven't told you that my arm aches at the +thought of writing them all. Sterry, we have since discovered, +was spending the week end as our guest. After a bibulous evening +passed at "Jack's Place," he returned to our carriage house, +climbed in through a window, lighted a candle, made himself +comfortable, and dropped asleep. He must have forgotten to put +out the candle; anyway, the fire happened, and Sterry just +escaped with his life. He is now in the town hospital, bathed in +sweet oil, and painfully regretting his share in our troubles. + +I am pleased to learn that our insurance was pretty adequate, +so the money loss won't be so tremendous, after all. As for +other kinds of loss, there aren't any! Actually, nothing but +gain so far as I can make out, barring, of course, our poor +smashed-up doctor. Everybody has been wonderful; I didn't know +that so much charity and kindness existed in the human race. Did +I ever say anything against trustees? I take it back. Four of +them posted up from New York the morning after the fire, and all +of the local people have been wonderful. Even the Hon. Cy has +been so occupied in remaking the morals of the five orphans +quartered upon him that he hasn't caused any trouble at all. + +The fire occurred early Saturday morning, and Sunday the +ministers in all the churches called for volunteers to accept in +their houses one or two children as guests for three weeks, until +the asylum could get its plant into working order again. + +It was inspiring to see the response. Every child was +disposed of within half an hour. And consider what that means +for the future: every one of those families is going to take a +personal interest in this asylum from now on. Also, consider +what it means for the children. They are finding out how a real +family lives, and this is the first time that dozens of them have +ever crossed the threshold of a private house. + +As for more permanent plans to take us through the winter, +listen to all this. The country club has a caddies' clubhouse +which they don't use in winter and which they have politely put +at our disposal. It joins our land on the back, and we are +fitting it up for fourteen children, with Miss Matthews in +charge. Our dining room and kitchen still being intact, +they will come here for meals and school, returning home at +night all the better for half a mile walk. "The Pavilion on the +Links" we are calling it. + +Then that nice motherly Mrs. Wilson, next door to the +doctor's,--she who has been so efficient with our little +Loretta,--has agreed to take in five more at four dollars a week +each. I am leaving with her some of the most promising older +girls who have shown housekeeping instincts, and would like to +learn cooking on a decently small scale. Mrs. Wilson and her +husband are such a wonderful couple, thrifty and industrious and +simple and loving, I think it would do the girls good to observe +them. A training class in wifehood! + +I told you about the Knowltop people on the east of us, who +took in forty-seven youngsters the night of the fire, and how +their entire house party turned themselves into emergency +nursemaids? We relieved them of thirty-six the next day, but +they still have eleven. Did I ever call Mr. Knowltop a crusty +old curmudgeon? I take it back. I beg his pardon. He's a sweet +lamb. Now, in the time of our need, what do you think that +blessed man has done? He has fitted up an empty tenant house on +the estate for our babies, has himself engaged an English trained +baby nurse to take charge, and furnishes them with the superior +milk from his own model dairy. He says he has been wondering for +years what to do with that milk. He can't afford to sell it, +because he loses four cents on every quart! + +The twelve older girls from dormitory A I am putting into the +farmer's new cottage. The poor Turnfelts, who had occupied it +just two days, are being shoved on into the village. But they +wouldn't be any good in looking after the children, and I need +their room. Three or four of these girls have been returned from +foster homes as intractable, and they require pretty efficient +supervision. So what do you think I've done? Telegraphed to +Helen Brooks to chuck the publishers and take charge of my girls +instead. You know she will be wonderful with them. She +accepted provisionally. Poor Helen has had enough of this +irrevocable contract business; she wants everything in life to be +on trial! + +For the older boys something particularly nice has happened; +we have received a gift of gratitude from J. F. Bretland. He +went down to thank the doctor for Allegra. They had a long talk +about the needs of the institution, and J. F. B. came back and +gave me a check for $3000 to build the Indian camps on a +substantial scale. He and Percy and the village architect have +drawn up plans, and in two weeks, we hope, the tribes will move +into winter quarters. + +What does it matter if my one hundred and seven children have +been burned out, since they live in such a kind-hearted world as +this? + + Friday. + + +I suppose you are wondering why I don't vouchsafe some +details about the doctor's condition. I can't give any first- +hand information, since he won't see me. However, he has seen +everybody except me--Betsy, Allegra, Mrs. Livermore, Mr. +Bretland, Percy, various trustees. They all report that he is +progressing as comfortably as could be expected with two broken +ribs and a fractured fibula. That, I believe, is the +professional name of the particular leg bone he broke. He +doesn't like to have a fuss made over him, and he won't pose +gracefully as a hero. I myself, as grateful head of this +institution, called on several different occasions to present my +official thanks, but I was invariably met at the door with word +that he was sleeping and did not wish to be disturbed. The first +two times I believed Mrs. McGurk; after that--well, I know our +doctor! So when it came time to send our little maid to prattle +her unconscious good-bys to the man who had saved her life, I +despatched her in charge of Betsy. + +I haven't an idea what is the matter with the man. He was +friendly enough last week, but now, if I want an opinion from +him, I have to send Percy to extract it. I do think that he +might see me as the superintendent of the asylum, even if he +doesn't wish our acquaintance to be on a personal basis. There +is no doubt about it, our Sandy is Scotch! + + +LATER. + + +It is going to require a fortune in stamps to get this letter +to Jamaica, but I do want you to know all the news, and we have +never had so many exhilarating things happen since 1876, when we +were founded. This fire has given us such a shock that we are +going to be more alive for years to come. I believe that every +institution ought to be burned to the ground every twenty-five +years in order to get rid of old-fashioned equipment and obsolete +ideas. I am superlatively glad now that we didn't spend Jervis's +money last summer; it would have been intensively tragic to have +had that burn. I don't mind so much about John Grier's, since he +made it in a patent medicine which, I hear, contained opium. + +As to the remnant of us that the fire left behind, it is +already boarded up and covered with tar-paper, and we are living +along quite comfortably in our portion of a house. It affords +sufficient room for the staff and the children's dining room and +kitchen, and more permanent plans can be made later. + +Do you perceive what has happened to us? The good Lord has +heard my prayer, and the John Grier Home is a cottage +institution! + + +I am, + + The busiest person north of the equator, + + S. McBRIDE. + + + THE JOHN GRIER HOME, + + January 16. +Dear Gordon: + +Please, please behave yourself, and don't make things harder than +they are. It's absolutely out of the question for me to give up +the asylum this instant. You ought to realize that I can't +abandon my chicks just when they are so terribly in need of me. +Neither am I ready to drop this blasted philanthropy. (You can +see how your language looks in my handwriting!) + +You have no cause to worry. I am not overworking. I am +enjoying it; never was so busy and happy in my life. The papers +made the fire out much more lurid than it really was. That +picture of me leaping from the roof with a baby under each arm +was overdrawn. One or two of the children have sore throats, and +our poor doctor is in a plaster cast. But we're all alive, thank +Heaven! and are going to pull through without permanent scars. + +I can't write details now; I'm simply rushed to death. And +don't come--please! Later, when things have settled just a +little, you and I must have a talk about you and me, but I want +time to think about it first. + + S. + + + January 21. +Dear Judy: + +Helen Brooks is taking hold of those fourteen fractious girls in +a most masterly fashion. The job is quite the toughest I had to +offer, and she likes it. I think she is going to be a valuable +addition to our staff. + +And I forgot to tell you about Punch. When the fire +occurred, those two nice women who kept him all summer were on +the point of catching a train for California--and they simply +tucked him under their arms, along with their luggage, and +carried him off. So Punch spends the winter in Pasadena and I +rather fancy he is theirs for good. Do you wonder that I am in +an exalted mood over all these happenings? + +LATER. + + +Poor bereaved Percy has just been spending the evening with +me, because I am supposed to understand his troubles. Why must I +be supposed to understand everybody's troubles? It's awfully +wearing to be pouring out sympathy from an empty heart. The poor +boy at present is pretty low, but I rather suspect--with Betsy's +aid--that he will pull through. He is just on the edge of +falling in love with Betsy, but he doesn't know it. He's in the +stage now where he's sort of enjoying his troubles. He feels +himself a tragic hero, a man who has suffered deeply. But I +notice that when Betsy is about, he offers cheerful assistance in +whatever work is toward. + +Gordon telegraphed today that he is coming tomorrow. I am +dreading the interview, for I know we are going to have an +altercation. He wrote the day after the fire and begged me +to "chuck the asylum" and get married immediately, and now he's +coming to argue it out. I can't make him understand that a job +involving the happiness of one hundred or so children can't be +chucked with such charming insouciance. I tried my best to keep +him away, but, like the rest of his sex, he's stubborn. Oh dear, +I don't know what's ahead of us! I wish I could glance into next +year for a moment. + +The doctor is still in his plaster cast, but I hear is doing +well, after a grumbly fashion. He is able to sit up a little +every day and to receive a carefully selected list of visitors. +Mrs. McGurk sorts them out at the door, and repudiates the ones +she doesn't like. + +Good-by. I'd write some more, but I'm so sleepy that my eyes +are shutting on me. (The idiom is Sadie Kate's.) I must go to +bed and get some sleep against the one hundred and seven troubles +of tomorrow. + +With love to the Pendletons, + + S. McB. + + + January 22. +Dear Judy: + +This letter has nothing to do with the John Grier Home. It's +merely from Sallie McBride. + +Do you remember when we read Huxley's letters our senior +year? That book contained a phrase which has stuck in my memory +ever since: "There is always a Cape Horn in one's life that one +either weathers or wrecks oneself on." It's terribly true; and +the trouble is that you can't always recognize your Cape Horn +when you see it. The sailing is sometimes pretty foggy, and +you're wrecked before you know it. + +I've been realizing of late that I have reached the Cape +Horn of my own life. I entered upon my engagement to Gordon +honestly and hopefully, but little by little I've grown doubtful +of the outcome. The girl he loves is not the ME I want to be. +It's the ME I've been trying to grow away from all this last +year. I'm not sure she ever really existed. Gordon just +imagined she did. Anyway, she doesn't exist any more, and the +only fair course both to him and to myself was to end it. + +We no longer have any interests in common; we are not +friends. He doesn't comprehend it; he thinks that I am making it +up, that all I have to do is to take an interest in his life, and +everything will turn out happily. Of course I do take an +interest when he's with me. I talk about the things he wants to +talk about, and he doesn't know that there's a whole part of me-- +the biggest part of me--that simply doesn't meet him at any +point. I pretend when I am with him. I am not myself, and if we +were to live together in constant daily intercourse, I'd have to +keep on pretending all my life. He wants me to watch his face +and smile when he smiles and frown when he frowns. He can't +realize that I'm an individual just as much as he is. + +I have social accomplishments. I dress well, I'm +spectacular, I would be an ideal hostess in a politician's +household--and that's why he likes me. + +Anyway, I suddenly saw with awful distinctness that if I kept +on I'd be in a few years where Helen Brooks is. She's a far +better model of married life for me to contemplate just this +moment than you, dear Judy. I think that such a spectacle as you +and Jervis is a menace to society. You look so happy and +peaceful and companionable that you induce a defenseless onlooker +to rush off and snap up the first man she meets--and he's always +the wrong man. + +Anyway, Gordon and I have quarreled definitely and finally. +I should rather have ended without a quarrel, but considering his +temperament,--and mine, too, I must confess,--we had to go off in +a big smoky explosion. He came yesterday afternoon, after +I'd written him not to come, and we went walking over Knowltop. +For three and a half hours we paced back and forth over that +windy moor and discussed ourselves to the bottommost recesses of +our beings. No one can ever say the break came through +misunderstanding each other! + +It ended by Gordon's going, never to return. As I stood +there at the end and watched him drop out of sight over the brow +of the hill, and realized that I was free and alone and my own +master well, Judy, such a sense of joyous relief, of freedom, +swept over me! I can't tell you; I don't believe any happily +married person could ever realize how wonderfully, beautifully +ALONE I felt. I wanted to throw my arms out and embrace the +whole waiting world that belonged suddenly to me. Oh, it is such +a relief to have it settled! I faced the truth the night of the +fire when I saw the old John Grier go, and realized that a new +John Grier would be built in its place and that I wouldn't be +here to do it. A horrible jealousy clutched at my heart. I +couldn't give it up, and during those agonizing moments while I +thought we had lost our doctor, I realized what his life meant, +and how much more significant than Gordon's. And I knew then +that I couldn't desert him. I had to go on and carry out all of +the plans we made together. + +I don't seem to be telling you anything but a mess of words, +I am so full of such a mess of crowding emotions. I want to talk +and talk and talk myself into coherence. But, anyway, I stood +alone in the winter twilight, and I took a deep breath of clear +cold air, and I felt beautifully, wonderfully, electrically free. + +And then I ran and leaped and skipped down the hill and across +the pastures toward our iron confines, and I sang to myself. Oh, +it was a scandalous proceeding, when, according to all precedent, +I should have gone trailing home with a broken wing. I never +gave one thought to poor Gordon, who was carrying a broken, +bruised, betrayed heart to the railroad station. + +As I entered the house I was greeted by the joyous clatter of +the children trooping to their supper. They were suddenly MINE, +and lately, as my doom became more and more imminent, they had +seemed fading away into little strangers. I seized the three +nearest and hugged them hard. I have suddenly found such new +life and exuberance, I feel as though I had been released from +prison and were free. I feel,--oh, I'll stop,--I just want you +to know the truth. Don't show Jervis this letter, but tell him +what's in it in a decently subdued and mournful fashion. + +It's midnight now, and I'm going to try to go to sleep. It's +wonderful not to be going to marry some one you don't want to +marry. I'm glad of all these children's needs, I'm glad of Helen +Brooks, and, yes, of the fire, and everything that has made me +see clearly. There's never been a divorce in my family, and they +would have hated it. + +I know I'm horribly egotistical and selfish; I ought to be +thinking of poor Gordon's broken heart. But really it would just +be a pose if I pretended to be very sorrowful. He'll find some +one else with just as conspicuous hair as mine, who will make +just as effective a hostess, and who won't be bothered by any of +these damned modern ideas about public service and woman's +mission and all the rest of the tomfoolery the modern generation +of women is addicted to. (I paraphrase, and soften our young +man's heartbroken utterances.) + +Good-by, dear people. How I wish I could stand with you on +your beach and look across the blue, blue sea! I salute the +Spanish main. + + ADDIO! + + SALLIE. + + + January 27. +Dear Dr. MacRae: + +I wonder if this note will be so fortunate as to find you awake? +Perhaps you are not aware that I have called four times to offer +thanks and consolation in my best bed-side manner? I am touched +by the news that Mrs. McGurk's time is entirely occupied in +taking in flowers and jelly and chicken broth, donated by the +adoring ladies of the parish to the ungracious hero in a plaster +cast. I know that you find a cap of homespun more comfortable +than a halo, but I really do think that you might have regarded +me in a different light from the hysterical ladies in question. +You and I used to be friends (intermittently), and though there +are one or two details in our past intercourse that might better +be expunged, still I don't see why we should let them upset our +entire relationship. Can't we be sensible and expunge them? + +The fire has brought out such a lot of unexpected kindliness +and charity, I wish it might bring out a little from you. You +see, Sandy, I know you well. You may pose to the world as being +gruff and curt and ungracious and scientific and inhuman and +S C O T C H, but you can't fool me. My newly trained +psychological eye has been upon you for ten months, and I have +applied the Binet test. You are really kind and sympathetic and +wise and forgiving and big, so please be at home the next time I +come to see you, and we will perform a surgical operation upon +Time and amputate five months. + +Do you remember the Sunday afternoon we ran away, and what a +nice time we had? It is now the day after that. + + SALLIE McBRIDE. + +P.S. If I condescend to call upon you again, please condescend +to see me, for I assure you I won't try more than once! Also, I +assure you that I won't drip tears on your counterpane or try to +kiss your hand, as I hear one admiring lady did. + + + THE JOHN GRIER HOME, + Thursday. +Dear Enemy: + +You see, I'm feeling very friendly toward you this moment. When +I call you "MacRae" I don't like you, and when I call you "Enemy" +I do. + +Sadie Kate delivered your note (as an afterthought). And +it's a very creditable production for a left-handed man; I +thought at first glance it was from Punch. + +You may expect me tomorrow at four, and mind you're awake! +I'm glad that you think we're friends. Really, I feel that I've +got back something quite precious which I had carelessly mislaid. + + S. McB. + +P.S. Java caught cold the night of the fire and he has the +toothache. He sits and holds his cheek like a poor little +kiddie. + + + Thursday, January 29. +Dear Judy: + +Those must have been ten terribly incoherent pages I dashed off +to you last week. Did you respect my command to destroy that +letter? I should not care to have it appear in my collected +correspondence. I know that my state of mind is disgraceful, +shocking, scandalous, but one really can't help the way one +feels. It is usually considered a pleasant sensation to be +engaged, but, oh, it is nothing compared with the wonderful +untrammeled, joyous, free sensation of being unengaged! I have +had a terribly unstable feeling these last few months, and now at +last I am settled. No one ever looked forward to spinsterhood +more thankfully than I. + +Our fire, I have come to believe, was providential. It was +sent from heaven to clear the way for a new John Grier. We are +already deep in plans for cottages. I favor gray stucco, Betsy +leans to brick, and Percy, half-timber. I don't know what our +poor doctor would prefer; olive green with a mansard roof appears +to be his taste. + +With ten different kitchens to practice in, won't our +children learn how to cook! I am already looking about for ten +loving house mothers to put in charge. I think, in fact, I'll +search for eleven, in order to have one for Sandy. He's as +pathetically in need of a little mothering as any, of the chicks. + +It must be pretty dispiriting to come home every night to the +ministrations of Mrs. McGur-rk. + +How I do not like that woman! She has with complacent +firmness told me four different times that the dochther was +ashleep and not wantin' to be disturbed. I haven't set eyes on +him yet, and I have just about finished being polite. +However, I waive judgment until tomorrow at four, when I am +to pay a short, unexciting call of half an hour. He made the +appointment himself, and if she tells me again that he is +ashleep, I shall give her a gentle push and tip her over (she's +very fat and unstable) and, planting a foot firmly on her +stomach, pursue my way tranquilly in and up. Luellen, formerly +chauffeur, chambermaid, and gardener, is now also trained nurse. +I am eager to see how he looks in a white cap and apron. + +The mail has just come, with a letter from Mrs. Bretland, +telling how happy they are to have the children. She inclosed +their first photograph--all packed in a governess cart, with +Clifford proudly holding the reins, and a groom at the pony's +head. How is that for three late inmates of the John Grier Home? + +It's all very inspiring when I think of their futures, but a +trifle sad when I remember their poor father, and how he worked +himself to death for those three chicks who are going to forget +him. The Bretlands will do their best to accomplish that. They +are jealous of any outside influence and want to make the babies +wholly theirs. After all, I think the natural way is best--for +each family to produce its own children, and keep them. + + Friday. + + +I saw the doctor today. He's a pathetic sight, consisting +mostly of bandages. Somehow or other we got our +misunderstandings all made up. Isn't it dreadful the way two +human beings, both endowed with fair powers of speech, can manage +to convey nothing of their psychological processes to each other? + +I haven't understood his mental attitude from the first, and he +even yet doesn't understand mine. This grim reticence that we +Northern people struggle so hard to maintain! I don't know after +all but that the excitable Southern safety valve method is the +best. + +But, Judy, such a dreadful thing--do you remember last year +when he visited that psychopathic institution, and stayed ten +days, and I made such a silly fuss about it? Oh, my dear, the +impossible things I do! He went to attend his wife's funeral. +She died there in the institution. Mrs. McGurk knew it all the +time, and might have added it to the rest of her news, but she +didn't. + +He told me all about her, very sweetly. The poor man for +years and years has undergone a terrible strain, and I fancy her +death is a blessed relief. He confesses that he knew at the time +of his marriage that he ought not to marry her, he knew all about +her nervous instability; but he thought, being a doctor, that he +could overcome it, and she was beautiful! He gave up his city +practice and came to the country on her account. And then after +the little girl's birth she went all to pieces, and he had to +"put her away," to use Mrs. McGurk's phrase. The child is six +now, a sweet, lovely little thing to look at, but, I judge from +what he said, quite abnormal. He has a trained nurse with her +always. Just think of all that tragedy looming over our poor +patient good doctor, for he is patient, despite being the most +impatient man that ever lived! + +Thank Jervis for his letter. He's a dear man, and I'm glad +to see him getting his deserts. What fun we are going to have +when you get back to Shadywell, and we lay our plans for a new +John Grier! I feel as though I had spent this past year +learning, and am now just ready to begin. We'll turn this into +the nicest orphan asylum that ever lived. I'm so absurdly happy +at the prospect that I start in the morning with a spring, and go +about my various businesses singing inside. + +The John Grier Home sends its blessing to the two best +friends it ever had! + + ADDIO! + + SALLIE. + + + THE JOHN GRIER HOME, + + Saturday at half-past six in the morning! + +My dearest Enemy: + +"Some day soon something nice is going to happen." + +Weren't you surprised when you woke up this morning and +remembered the truth? I was! I couldn't think for about two +minutes what made me so happy. + +It's not light yet, but I'm wide awake and excited and having +to write to you. I shall despatch this note by the first to-be- +trusted little orphan who appears, and it will go up on your +breakfast tray along with your oatmeal. + +I shall follow VERY PROMPTLY at four o'clock this afternoon. +Do you think Mrs. McGurk will ever countenance the scandal if I +stay two hours, and no orphan for a chaperon? + +It was in all good faith, Sandy, that I promised not to kiss +your hand or drip tears on the counterpane, but I'm afraid I did +both--or worse! Positively, I didn't suspect how much I cared +for you till I crossed the threshold and saw you propped up +against the pillows, all covered with bandages, and your hair +singed off. You are a sight! If I love you now, when fully one +third of you is plaster of Paris and surgical dressing, you can +imagine how I'm going to love you when it's all you! + +But my dear, dear Robin, what a foolish man you are! How +should I ever have dreamed all those months that you were caring +for me when you acted so abominably S C O T C H? With most men, +behavior like yours would not be considered a mark of affection. +I wish you had just given me a glimmering of an idea of the +truth, and maybe you would have saved us both a few heartaches. + +But we mustn't be looking back; we must look forward and be +grateful. The two happiest things in life are going to be ours, +a FRIENDLY marriage and work that we love. + +Yesterday, after leaving you, I walked back to the asylum +sort of dazed. I wanted to get by myself and THINK, but instead +of being by myself, I had to have Betsy and Percy and Mrs. +Livermore for dinner (already invited) and then go down and talk +to the children. Friday night-social evening. They had a lot of +new records for the victrola, given by Mrs. Livermore, and I had +to sit politely and listen to them. And, my dear--you'll think +this funny--the last thing they played was "John Anderson, my jo +John," and suddenly I found myself crying! I had to snatch up +the earnest orphan and hug her hard, with my head buried in her +shoulder, to keep them all from seeing. + + John Anderson, my jo John, + We clamb the hill thegither, + And monie a canty day, John, + We've had wi' ane anither; + Now we maun totter down, John, + But hand in hand we'll go, + And sleep thegither at the foot, + John Anderson, my jo. + +I wonder, when we are old and bent and tottery, can you and I +look back, with no regrets, on monie a canty day we've had wi' +ane anither? It's nice to look forward to, isn't it--a life of +work and play and little daily adventures side by side with +somebody you love? I'm not afraid of the future any more. I +don't mind growing old with you, Sandy. "Time is but the stream +I go a-fishing in." + +The reason I've grown to love these orphans is because they +need me so, and that's the reason--at least one of the reasons-- +I've grown to love you. You're a pathetic figure of a man, my +dear, and since you won't make yourself comfortable, you must be +MADE comfortable. + +We'll build a house on the hillside just beyond the asylum-- +how does a yellow Italian villa strike you, or preferably a pink +one? Anyway, it won't be green. And it won't have a mansard +roof. And we'll have a big cheerful living room, all fireplace +and windows and view, and no McGURK. Poor old thing! won't she +be in a temper and cook you a dreadful dinner when she hears the +news! But we won't tell her for a long, long time--or anybody +else. It's too scandalous a proceeding right on top of my own +broken engagement. I wrote to Judy last night, and with +unprecedented self-control I never let fall so much as a hint. +I'm growing Scotch mysel'! + +Perhaps I didn't tell you the exact truth, Sandy, when I said +I hadn't known how much I cared. I think it came to me the night +the John Grier burned. When you were up under that blazing roof, +and for the half hour that followed, when we didn't know whether +or not you would live, I can't tell you what agonies I went +through. It seemed to me, if you did go, that I would never get +over it all my life; that somehow to have let the best friend I +ever had pass away with a dreadful chasm of misunderstanding +between us--well--I couldn't wait for the moment when I should be +allowed to see you and talk out all that I have been shutting +inside me for five months. And then--you know that you gave +strict orders to keep me out; and it hurt me dreadfully. How +should I suspect that you really wanted to see me more than any +of the others, and that it was just that terrible Scotch moral +sense that was holding you back? You are a very good actor, +Sandy. But, my dear, if ever in our lives again we have the +tiniest little cloud of a misunderstanding, let's promise not to +shut it up inside ourselves, but to TALK. + +Last night, after they all got off,--early, I am pleased to +say, since the chicks no longer live at home,--I came upstairs +and finished my letter to Judy, and then I looked at the +telephone and struggled with temptation. I wanted to call up 505 +and say good night to you. But I didn't dare. I'm still quite +respectably bashful! So, as the next best thing to talking with +you, I got out Burns and read him for an hour. I dropped asleep +with all those Scotch love songs running in my head, and here I +am at daybreak writing them to you. + +Good-by, Robin lad, I lo'e you weel. + + SALLIE. + + +The end of Project Gutenberg Etext of "Dear Enemy" + + + |