diff options
| -rw-r--r-- | .gitattributes | 3 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | 23778-8.txt | 8567 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | 23778-8.zip | bin | 0 -> 157224 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 23778-h.zip | bin | 0 -> 339564 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 23778-h/23778-h.htm | 12409 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | 23778-h/images/img-044.jpg | bin | 0 -> 34033 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 23778-h/images/img-119.jpg | bin | 0 -> 32930 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 23778-h/images/img-200.jpg | bin | 0 -> 35514 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 23778-h/images/img-301.jpg | bin | 0 -> 40051 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 23778-h/images/img-front.jpg | bin | 0 -> 35137 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 23778.txt | 8567 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | 23778.zip | bin | 0 -> 157205 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | LICENSE.txt | 11 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | README.md | 2 |
14 files changed, 29559 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/23778-8.txt b/23778-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..dd1da02 --- /dev/null +++ b/23778-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,8567 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Governess, by Julie M. Lippmann + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Governess + +Author: Julie M. Lippmann + +Illustrator: Charles R. Chickering + +Release Date: December 9, 2007 [EBook #23778] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GOVERNESS *** + + + + +Produced by Al Haines + + + + + + + + +[Frontispiece: There she stood] + + + +THE GOVERNESS + + +BY + +JULIE M. LIPPMANN + + + +_Author of_ + +"MAMMA-BY-THE-DAY," etc. + + + +_Illustrated by_ + +CHARLES R. CHICKERING + + + +McClelland, Goodchild & Stewart + +Publishers ------ Toronto + +1916 + + + + +Copyright 1897 by + +THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY + + +Copyright 1916 by + +THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY + + +The Governess + + +Contents + + +CHAP. + + I NAN + II NAN'S VISITOR + III MR. TURNER'S PLAN + IV THE GOVERNESS + V GETTING ACQUAINTED + VI WHEELS WITHIN WHEELS + VII OPEN CONFESSION + VIII NAN'S HEROINE + IX HAVING HER OWN WAY + X EXPERIENCES + XI CHRISTMAS + XII SMALL CLOUDS + XIII ON THE ICE + XIV CHANGES + XV A TUG OF WAR + XVI THE SLEIGH-RIDE + XVII CONSEQUENCES + XVIII "CHESTER NEWCOMB" + XIX IN MISS BLAKE'S ROOM + XX THROUGH DEEP WATERS + XXI ANOTHER CHRISTMAS + + + + +Illustrations + + +There she stood . . . . . . _Frontispiece_ + +"I'll run away first!" + +The little governess was beside her + +"I have a little errand to do" + +"Provoking things!" + + + + +The Governess + + +CHAPTER I + +NAN + +"Hello, Nan!" + +"Heyo, Ruthie!" + +"Where are you going?" + +"Over to Reid's lot." + +"Take me?" + +"No, Ruthie, can't." + +The little child's lip began to tremble. "I think you're real mean, +Nan Cutler," she complained. + +Nan shook her head. "Can't help it if you do," she returned, stoutly, +and took a step on. + +"Nannie," cried the child eagerly, starting after her and clutching her +by the skirt, "I didn't mean that! Truly, I didn't. I think you're +just as nice as you can be. Do please let me go with you. Won't you?" + +Nan compressed her lips. "Now, Ruth, look here," she said after a +moment, in which she stood considering, "I'd take you in a minute if I +could but the truth is--oh, you're too little." + +"I ain't too little!" + +"Well, then, your mother doesn't like you to be with me, so there!" +cried Nan, in a burst of reckless frankness. + +Ruth hung her head. She could not deny it but at sight of her +companion turning to leave her she again started forward, piping +shrilly, "Nannie! Nannie! She won't care this time. Honest, she +won't." + +Nan stalked on without turning her head. + +The hurrying little feet followed on close behind. + +"Nannie! Nannie!" + +"See here, Ruth," exclaimed the girl, veering suddenly about and +speaking with decision. "You can't come, and that's all there is about +it. Your mother doesn't like me, and you ought not to disobey her. +Now run back home like a good little girl." + +The delicate, small face upturned to hers grew hardened and set, but +the child did not move. + +Nan gave her a friendly shove on the shoulder and turned on her way +again. Immediately she heard the tap of hurrying little feet behind, +like the echoing sound of her own hasty footsteps. She stopped and +swung about abruptly. + +"Are you going to be a good little girl and go back this minute?" she +demanded sternly, calling to her assistance all the dignity of her +fourteen years, and turning on the poor infant a severe, unrelenting +eye. + +The child gazed up at her reproachfully, but did not reply. + +Nan felt herself fast losing patience. "Of all the provoking little +witches!" she exclaimed, in an underbreath of irritation. + +Ruth's rebuking eyes surveyed her calmly, but she made no response. + +"Now be good and trot along back," cajoled Nan, changing her tactics +and stroking the child's soft hair caressingly. + +There was a visible pursing of the obstinate little lips, but no +further sign of acknowledgment. + +Nan dropped her voice to a tone of honey-sweetness. "See here, Ruthie, +if you'll go home this minute I'll give you five cents. You can buy +anything you like with it at Sam's, on the way back." She plunged her +hand into her pocket and drew forth a bright new nickel, and held it +alluringly aloft. + +The azure eyes gazed at it appreciatively, but the hand was not +outstretched to receive it. For a second Nan reviewed the situation in +silence. Then she flung about with a movement of exasperation, and +marched on stolidly, and the smaller feet hastened after her, keeping +pace with difficulty, and often breaking into a little run that they +might not be outstripped. + +A chill autumn wind was sweeping up heavily from the northeast, and the +air was cold and raw. Nan shuddered as she walked, and wished Ruth +were safe and sound in her own warm home, which she never should have +been permitted to leave this blustering day. A score of plans for +ridding herself of her troublesome little follower crowded Nan's brain. +She might run and leave the youngster behind. But then Ruth would cry, +and Nan could not bear to inflict pain on a little child. She might +take her up in her arms and carry her bodily back to her own door. +Well, and what then? Why, simply, she would get the credit of abusing +the little girl. There seemed no way out of it. She stalked on +grimly, and when she came to Reid's lot she promptly and dexterously +climbed its fence and continued her way in silence. But the fence +proved an insurmountable obstacle to Ruth. She stood outside and +wailed dismally. The sound smote Nan, and made her turn around. + +"Ruth Newton, you deserve to be spanked!" she announced, severely. + +The child uttered another wail of entreaty. Nan sprang up to the +cross-bar of the palings, gathered her skirts about her knees, and +leaped down. + +"Here, let me boost you, since you will get over," she said sharply. + +After they were both safely on the other side Ruth's spirit rose, and +she capered about in the freedom of the open space as wildly as a young +colt. Nan had come for chestnuts. She announced the same presently to +Ruth. Ruth shouted gleefully. + +"I'm going to climb the tree. You can stand underneath and pick up +what I shake, only mind you don't get the burr-prickles in your +fingers, for they hurt like sixty," warned Nan. + +The child nodded her head and pranced over the brown, stubbly ground +with dancing feet, her cheeks aglow and her eyes flashing with +satisfaction. + +She watched Nan with the liveliest interest, and when the older girl +was once comfortably ensconced in the lofty branches, she executed a +sort of war-dance underneath, and spread her tiny skirt to catch the +rain of nuts that Nan shook down upon her from above. But presently +this began to pall. + +"I want to come up where you are, Nannie," she called, coaxingly. + +"You'll have to want then," retorted Nan, carelessly munching nuts like +a squirrel. + +"I could climb's good as anything if only I had a boost," drawled the +child ruefully. + +Nan sprinkled a handful of shucks on her head. + +"I'm going to try," ventured Ruth. + +Nan laughed. + +Ruth looked around, trying to discover some means by which she might +accomplish her purpose. Nan felt so sure that the child could not do +what she threatened that she made no effort to dissuade her. She, +herself, passed from bough to bough as nimbly as a boy, in spite of her +skirts, and in a very short time was almost out of sight among the +upper spreading branches. She sat astride one of these, swinging to +and fro and luxuriating in her sense of freedom and adventure. Peering +down occasionally she saw Ruth standing beneath her and sent repeated +showers of nuts spinning through the boughs to keep the child busy. +But presently Ruth disappeared. She had spied an old piece of board +and she immediately flew to get it, her silly little head filled with +the idea of making it serve her as a ladder. She tugged it laboriously +across the stubbly field, and her short, panting breaths did not reach +Nan's ear, full of the near rustle of leaves and the hum of the +scudding wind. + +"Ahoy! below there!" she shouted nautically from above. + +Ruth was too busy to respond. The board was heavy, and it took all the +strength of her slight arms to get it in position. + +"Shipmate ahoy!" repeated Nan. + +By this time the board had been tilted against the tree and Ruth was +scrambling up the unsteady inclined plane, too absorbed and scared in +her adventure to reply. She actually managed to reach the top and to +stand there tiptoeing the edge uncertainly, her small fingers clasping +the tree-trunk convulsively and her arms trying to grapple with it for +a surer hold. But suddenly she gave a piercing scream, and Nan, +peering down through the branches in instant alarm, saw Ruth lying at +the foot of the tree in a pitiful little motionless heap, and knew in a +moment that she had tried to do what she had threatened and had failed. + +It did not take Nan a minute to reach the ground. Her heart seemed to +stand still with fear. She flung herself from bough to bough with +reckless haste and dropped to the ground all in one breathless instant. + +"Ruth," she cried, bending over the little prostrate figure in an +agony. "Ruth, open your eyes! Get up! Oh, please get up!" + +There was no answer. Nan wrung her hands in despair. The cold wind +blew over the field in chilling gusts. It made her shudder, and +instinctively she took a step toward her warm coat, which she had +stripped off and cast aside before climbing the tree. At sight of it a +new thought struck her. Ruth lying there on the frosty ground would +surely take cold--perhaps die from it! In a twinkling the soft, woolly +garment was wrapped securely about the child and Nan had her two stout +arms around her and was half dragging, half carrying her in the +direction of the distant fence. But they had not covered a dozen yards +before she felt her strength begin to fail. She was lifting a dead +weight, and it seemed to drag more heavily upon her every moment. Her +arms pulled in their sockets and her breath came in painful gasps, and +she knew that if she tried to keep on as she was it would be at the +cost of increasing misery. Still she did not give up, and at last, +after what seemed to her hours of agony and suspense, she actually +reached the limit of the field. She laid Ruth gently upon the ground +and straightened herself up to ease her aching back and regain her lost +breath before taking up her burden again. But as she lifted her head +her eyes fell on the high pickets before her, which seemed to confront +her with as grim defiance as if they had been bayonets. How could she +get Ruth over? The gate, which was at another end of the lot, was +always kept padlocked, and even if she had remembered this at first and +had carried the child there, she could not have undone the bolt. This +was the last straw! She felt frustrated and defeated, and a low sob of +complete discouragement broke from her. It was useless to dream of +getting Ruth over alone. The only way that remained was to secure +help, that was plain. She looked about wildly, but not a soul was in +sight, and she knew in her heart that the chances were against her. +The street at this point was near the city limits, and it had not been +built up as yet. There would be nothing to call any one here unless it +might be some boy who, like herself, had come out for chestnuts, and +what use would a mere boy be? If only John Gardiner were here! John +was tall and strong, and would lend a hand in a jiffy. But John also +was miles away. Ruth's eyes opened for a second and then closed +sleepily again. Nan's heart leaped up with new hope. + +"Ruth! Ruth!" she called eagerly bending over her and stroking her +cheek tenderly. But her hope was short-lived. The eyelids remained +shut, and the child only breathed deeper than before. Nan's own heart +seemed to stop in her anxiety for Ruth. Suddenly she sprang to her +feet. Surely she had heard the rattle of wheels! Ever so far and +indistinct to be sure, but still unmistakably wheels, clattering over +some distant cobbles. She raised her voice and shouted; then held her +breath to listen. The clatter grew more distinct; it drew nearer and +nearer. She clambered up the fence and stood there waving her arms and +shouting as madly as if she had been a shipwrecked mariner sighting a +sail. She paused a moment to listen. The rattling wheels came nearer. +She shouted again and then waited, listening intently. The rattling +stopped. She set up a wild howl of dismay and kept it up till her ears +seemed on the point of splitting. But now the clatter of wheels had +begun again and she could see a milk cart rounding the corner of the +street. She gave a long, shrill whistle and leaped down and ran +frantically out into the road, straight for the horse's head. + +It was a second or two before the astonished driver could be made to +understand, but when he did, he bounded out of his cart willingly +enough, vaulted over the fence and then bade Nan "stand hard" while he +lifted Ruth into her arms. Her weight was nothing to the brawny +fellow, and he had her safely stowed away on the seat of his cart, with +Nan crouching on the floor beside her and himself clinging to the step +outside, in less time than it takes to tell it. + +Nan gave him the street and number in a trembling gasp of gratitude. +He eyed her narrowly, and then seemed to sum up his conclusion in a +low, keen whistle. Her hat was hanging by its elastic on her +shoulders; her hair was blown out of all order by the wind; her dress +was torn and her hands were bruised and none too clean. She had no +coat on, and her cheeks were flaming with cold and excitement. She was +an astonishing spectacle. + +"Guess you're a sort of high-flyer, ain't you?" said he at last without +a sign of ill-nature. + +Nan set her jaws and did not reply. + +"Oh, well, I don't want to hurt your feelings. Only you look sorter +wild-like, you know, and as if your mother didn't know you was out." + +Nan's teeth snapped. "I haven't got any mother," she returned curtly. +"She's dead." + +The milkman looked uncomfortable. He shifted awkwardly from one foot +to the other and muttered something about being sorry. Then for some +time there was silence. + +"That's the house," announced Nan at length, jumping to the step and +hanging to the rail above the dashboard. "That third one from the +corner, on this side. Please let me out first. I want to run ahead +and tell." + +Almost before he could rein in his horse she was out on the pavement. +She flew to the area gate and pressed the bell with all her might. She +kept her finger on it, and the cook came flying to the door, looking +flushed and angry at the continuous ringing. + +"Well, I might o' known," she said, eying Nan with unconcealed +disfavor. "Do you think a body's deaf that you ring like that?" + +Nan flung back her head resentfully. + +"Never mind what I think," she returned sharply. "Open the gate! Ruth +is sick! She got hurt! Some one's bringing her in. Quick!" + +The gate was flung open with a bang, and the woman rushed out, +clutching Ruth from the milkman's arms and carrying her into the house, +muttering mingled caresses and abuse all the while; the caresses for +Ruth and the abuse for Nan. + +The milkman turned on his heel and went his way unthanked, but by the +time he got to the outer gate Nan had recollected herself, and had +rushed after him, calling: + +"Oh, please! I want to tell you--thank you ever so much!" + +She was glad she had done it when she saw the gratified look on his +face. When she got back to the area gate it was shut. Mary the +chambermaid stood just inside it. She made no attempt to admit Nan. +She simply stood there and looked her over from head to toe. + +"Well, you're a pretty piece!" she remarked. + +"None of your business if I am," retorted Nan. "Let me in. I want to +see Mrs. Newton." + +The maid took her hand from the knob and put it on her hip. + +"Mrs. Newton don't want to see you, though, I guess," she returned. +"By this time Bridget's told her all she wants to know." + +"But I must see her! I must tell her!" Nan insisted, stamping her +foot. "Bridget don't know anything about it. No one does but me. Let +me in, I say!" + +The girl laughed. + +"Well, I'll go upstairs and tell Mrs. Newton. Then, if she wants to +see you, she can," and she went inside and closed the door, leaving Nan +to stand shuddering in the cold outside. Presently she came back, +carrying the coat in her hands. + +"Mrs. Newton says she hasn't time to see you now. She says she'll +attend to you later. She says she can guess how it happened, and that +if Ruth dies it'll be your fault. There, now, you know what's thought +of you, and you can put it in your pipe and smoke it, you great, rough +tomboy!" + +The gate was thrust open a little way, the coat was flung out, and the +door slammed to again, and once more Nan found herself in the area way +alone. Burning tears of fury sprung to her eyes. She caught up her +despised coat and dashed wildly out of the gate in a perfect tempest of +anger and resentment. + + + + +CHAPTER II + +NAN'S VISITOR + +She knew what was coming when the bell rang. She had been expecting it +all the afternoon. But in spite of that her heart beat fast and her +breath came hard as she heard the familiar sound. Not that she was +afraid. She had nothing to be afraid of, she assured herself +defiantly, and besides, fear was one of the things she despised. +Whatever else she was, she was certainly not a coward. Still she sat +in her room and waited in a state of mind that was not precisely what +one would call tranquil. + +She heard Delia mount the basement stairs and then she heard her ask +the new-comer into the parlor. A moment later there was a tap upon +Nan's bedroom door. + +"Come in," she said carelessly, and pretended to be searching for some +article lost in the confusion of her upper drawer. + +"You're wanted in the parlor, Nan," began Delia at once. "It's a lady +who says she lives on the block and she wouldn't give her name, but I +think she's the one moved into Leffingwell's old house last spring--has +that little girl with the long curls, you know the one I mean. Shall I +help you put on another dress and braid your hair over? It's fearful +mussy-lookin'. Or will I just go and say you'll be down in a minute +while you do it yourself?" + +Nan cast a glance at her torn dress and towzled head in the mirror. +"No, Delia, I'll go as I am, and if the lady doesn't like it she +can--oh, well, I'll go down as I am." + +Delia pressed her lips together, as though trying to hold back the +words of advice on the tip of her tongue. She knew it was worse than +useless to try to argue with the girl. She had not lived in the house +since Nan was born without learning better than to try to reason with +her when she had once declared her mind. She stood beside the door, +and allowed Nan to pass through it before her, without saying a word. +Then she followed her quietly down stairs. At the parlor door Nan +paused a moment, and Delia, who thought she was about to speak, paused +too, but the girl only turned sharply into the room, pulling the door +shut behind her. Once across the threshold she halted and stood +irresolute. Whatever the result of this meeting might prove, depended +not so much on Nan as on her visitor. + +Nan, though standing in awkward silence, as stiff and as straight as a +soldier on parade, was ready to be influenced by whatever course her +caller chose to pursue; a kind word spoken at the start would melt her +at once, where a harsh one would raise in her every sort of sullen +hostility and obstinate resistance. She was, as Delia often said to +herself, "as hard to manage as a kicking colt." Sometimes she was +wonderfully docile, but her moods were variable, and oftenest she was +headstrong and wilful, with a fierce repugnance to curb, or what she +considered unwarrantable interference. + +But it would have been difficult to convince the stranger at that +moment that Nan could ever be won, or, in fact, that she had any +tenderness to be appealed to. There she stood, looking as erect and +impassive as a young Indian. Her brown hair was in a state of thorough +disorder, and gave a sort of savage look to her sun-browned face. Her +gray eyes were anything but soft at this moment; her mouth was set, and +her whole attitude seemed to be one of imperturbable indifference. In +reality, the girl was apprehensive and embarrassed. She set her lips +to keep them from trembling. Her first impulse would have been to make +a clean breast of everything, frankly and truthfully, but--something in +her nature held her back. Was it obstinacy, or was it reticence? + +Her visitor did not wait to discover. She decided the result of the +interview in the first words she spoke. + +"Is your name Nan Cutler?" she asked in a voice of stern authority. + +"Yes, it is!" acknowledged the girl, instantly on the defensive. + +"Then it is you who are accountable for the accident to Ruth Newton? +You urged her to go with you, and when she fell--oh, you are a coward! +It was detestable!" + +Nan made no reply, but stood the picture of inflexibility, facing her +accuser squarely. + +"I have come to see you, not because you can undo the mischief you have +done to my child, and not because I think I can affect you in the +least, or make you sorry or ashamed, but simply to tell you that I +intend to see that you are punished, as you deserve. I have put up +with annoyance you caused me long enough. Your influence is bad. All +the neighbors complain of you. You are noisy and careless, and rough +and rude. When any one reprimands you, you give a pert retort, or else +pretend not to hear--which is impudent. Unless we wish our children to +be utterly ruined we must see that they are put beyond your influence +at once. You do things that are absolutely vulgar and unbefitting a +girl of your age; you must be fourteen, at least, you look older, you +are certainly old enough to know better. You are not a proper playmate +for our children. You are boisterous and unladylike. You--you--are a +perfect hoyden!" + +The stranger paused for breath, while Nan surveyed her with a look of +calm indifference; an air of unconcern in anything she might say or +think that seemed as insolent as it was exasperating. + +"You are a perfect hoyden!" repeated the stern voice in rising anger. +"Whatever you do is done in such a loud, violent fashion that it +becomes perfectly unbearable. You play ball with boys. You climb +fences and trees. You are continually flying up and down the street on +your detestable roller-skates and shouting until the neighborhood seems +like Bedlam, and you don't appear to have the vaguest idea that +people's rights need not be infringed on in such a manner; that they +have the right to peace and quiet in their own homes. Even if you +would content yourself with your own disorderliness! But you are not +satisfied with doing what you know must annoy others; you seem to take +a malicious delight in bringing the little children under your +influence and making them long to follow your example. You cannot have +the first shadow of generosity or bravery in your nature, or you would +not urge them to do what you know their parents would disapprove of. +You teach them to disobey. My daughter never told an untruth in her +life until the other day. I have no reason to doubt that you taught +her to tell that untruth!" + +Nan's cheeks suddenly became white, but she did not open her lips. + +"If you cannot be restrained by your own people at home you shall be by +some other means. They say your own people are respectable; how can +you disgrace them so?" + +Nan deigned no reply, but her lip curled contemptuously. + +"They say your mother is dead." + +Again no answer. + +"Where is your father?" + +"My father is in India. He is in Bombay," announced Nan, deliberately. + +"Who has control of you in his absence?" + +"No one!" declared the girl with decision. + +Mrs. Newton surveyed the lank, overgrown, girlish figure with +unconcealed scorn. + +"Do you know," she said with bitter distinctness, "that you are the +most shameless, unfeeling girl I have ever beheld? Any one else would +show some remorse for what she had done, but you--young as you are, you +are the hardest creature I have ever known. Hard, cruel, and cold. +How can you stand there and look me in the face when you know how you +have injured me? Tell me, does it not touch you at all that Ruth is +hurt? Do you know or care that such a fall as she has had is enough to +cripple a child for life? Many children have been hopelessly crippled +through far less." + +The mother's voice broke, and she set her lips to keep down a sob. + +"How much is she hurt?" whispered Nan after a moment. She was +trembling all over and cold and hot by turns, and she could not command +her voice. It was almost more than she could do to keep from bursting +into a violent fit of sobbing from her sense of injury and shame and +indignation. But she simply would not permit herself to break down. +No one should be allowed to think they intimidated her. But she could +not hide her anxiety about Ruth. + +"Is she much hurt?" she repeated. + +There was a shade of softening in her visitor's face. "We can't tell +yet. She has had a severe fall, and the chill coming after it may have +very serious consequences, but we can tell nothing yet. However, I did +not come here to inform you of her condition," the voice growing stern +and the face severe again. "I came to tell you that if Ruth is injured +I will hold you responsible. And not only that, but I warn you that I +mean to take matters into my own hands now and see that you are +permitted to do no further mischief. You shall be controlled. Who has +charge of your father's affairs? Who has any sort of authority over +you in his absence? He must have left you in somebody's care. He +can't have gone away leaving you with no one to look after you. Who is +your guardian? Tell me? If you don't I shall find out for myself, you +may depend." + +"I'm perfectly willing to tell you," declared Nan, with what seemed to +be complete coolness. "It's Mr. Turner. He gives Delia the money to +get me things and to keep the house. He comes here every once in a +while to see me. My father has him for his lawyer. He's a friend of +his. When Delia writes to him for money for me she sends the letter to +101 Blank Street. That's his office. I don't remember where his house +is. Delia never writes to his house. He doesn't attend to me--that +is, he isn't my guardian, but I guess he would do if you want to see +some one." + +Nan delivered herself of this information as casually as though it had +been a report of the weather. As a matter of fact she was inwardly +quivering, and every moment found it more and more difficult to control +herself. Never in all her life before had she been so relentlessly, +harshly accused. In trying to conceal her emotion she only gave +herself the appearance of rigid inflexibility. + +Her visitor regarded her stonily for a moment and then abruptly brushed +past her toward the door. Nan made no attempt to intercept her, but +suddenly the hard lines about her mouth relaxed, her eyes softened, and +she held out her hands with an imploring gesture. + +"Won't you please tell me where Ruth is hurt?" she cried. "Won't you +let me do something for her? Let me--please let me! If you'll only +listen a minute I'll tell you--" + +But it was too late now. She was given no reply; permitted no chance +to vindicate herself. Her visitor's hard lips quivered, but she +uttered no syllable. In a moment she was gone. + +After the door had closed upon her and it was quite certain that she +would not come back, Nan turned and rushed headlong, like a young +savage, upstairs and into her own room. What took place there it would +have been impossible to discover, for the shades were jerked fiercely +down, the door sharply shut and locked, and Delia, coming up some time +later, could not make out a sound within nor get a reply to her +requests to be admitted, though she stood outside and pleaded for an +hour. + +At twilight the door was opened and Nan came out quite composed, but +bearing on her face the unmistakable traces of tears which, however, +Delia was wise enough to let pass unremarked. + +"Time for dinner?" asked the girl, curtly. + +"No, not yet. It ain't but just six," replied the woman. "Are you +hungry? I'll get you something if you are." + +"No, I'm not hungry. But I feel kind of queer, somehow. There's an +empty feeling I have that makes me uncomfortable. But I'm not hungry. +O Delia!" she burst out, vehemently, "I wish--I wish--I had my mother. +A girl needs--her mother--sometimes--" + +"Always," declared Delia, with conviction. + +For a little time there was silence between them. Then Nan said, "Look +here, Delia--I want to tell you something. I feel just horribly. I +never felt so unhappy in all my life. That lady who was here this +afternoon is Ruth Newton's mother. She came to see me because this +morning Ruth fell from the tree in Reid's lot and hurt herself, and +Mrs. Newton thinks I made her do it. I didn't. Honestly, I didn't. I +had climbed the tree myself, and it was fun and I liked it. Ruth would +come. I tried to make her stay away, but she wouldn't, and when she +teased to climb the tree too, I told her not to. She's so little and +young, and her mother doesn't think it's ladylike, and I said if she +wouldn't come with me in the first place I'd give her five cents. But +she would tag on, and later she tried to climb the tree in spite of +everything. She put a board up against the trunk and got on it and +then scrambled up a little way, but she didn't get far, for the board +slipped, or something, and down she went--smash! I guess she must have +hit herself on the edge or somewhere, for when I dropped down she was +lying on the ground, and she had her eyes closed and wouldn't speak. +Then I didn't know what to do. I wanted to lift her, but it was awful +work. There was no one in sight. At last I managed to tug her to the +fence, but, of course, I hadn't the strength to get her over that +alone. I couldn't leave her and run for help, and for a long time I +did nothing but scream, in the hope that some one would come along and +hear. And by and by I heard wheels. It was a milk cart, and I got the +man to help me get her home. I went right to the Newton's as fast as I +could, but when Bridget opened the door and saw who it was she was +simply furious. They wouldn't let me in, and Mrs. Newton sent down +word she wouldn't see me, but she'd attend to me later, and this +afternoon when she called she just called me names and things, and I +couldn't explain to her, I felt so choked. She talked to me so, I +couldn't say a word. You don't know. When people say such things to +me something gets in my throat, and I feel like strangling and doing +all sorts of things. I seem to shut right up when they go at me like +that. I can't speak. I just feel like--well, you don't know what I +feel like. Mrs. Newton asked me where father is, and I told her, and +then she asked about Mr. Turner, for she wants to have things done to +me, and I told her about him. I wouldn't have her think I wanted to +get out of it. She called me names and she thinks I taught Ruth to +tell untruths; she said so. She says if Ruth doesn't get well it will +be my fault. O Delia! I didn't do it. Honestly I wasn't to blame. +But if Ruth is going to be sick and they think I did it--I want my +mother! How can I bear it without my mother?" + +Delia gently patted the dark head that had flung itself into her lap. +Her heart ached for the girl, but her simple mind was not equal to the +task of consolation in a case like this. She could not cope with its +difficulties. She knew Nan was to blame for much, but she thought in +her heart that Mrs. Newton had no right to vent her wrath upon the girl +without first having heard her side of the story. She could not +console Nan, she thought, without seeming to convict Mrs. Newton, and +if she "stood up for" Mrs. Newton, Nan would think her lacking in +sympathy for herself. But in the midst of her wondering, up bobbed the +head from under her hand. + +"Mrs. Newton says I teach the children to do wrong. She says I'm a +hoyden. She says I left Ruth in the cold and that I was a coward. She +didn't give me time to tell her about how I tried to get Ruth home +myself, and that when I couldn't, how I just howled for help. At least +she didn't want to listen when I got so I could speak. She says +everybody thinks I'm bad, and they want to have me attended to. She +thinks I taught Ruth to tell lies. Think, Delia, lies! When she said +that it was like knives! O Delia? I know you've been awfully good to +me always, and taken care of me since mamma died and all, but if it is +so dreadful to play ball and skate and do things like that, why did you +let me in the first place? I hate to sew and do worsted work and be +prim, but perhaps, if you had brought me up that way I might have got +so I could stand it. Don't you think if you had begun when I was a +baby I might have? I don't want to have people hate me--honestly, I +don't. When they talk to me, and say I'm rowdyish because I walk +fences and play ball with the boys and climb trees, I try not to show +it, but it hurts me way deep down. I try to say something back so +they'll think I don't care, and sometimes, if it hurts too much, I +pretend not to hear, and that makes them madder than ever. They don't +know how, when it's like that, I can't speak. Perhaps if you'd brought +me up so, I might have liked dolls and thought it was fun to sit still +and sew on baby clothes. But I don't like to, and I can't help it. +Mrs. Newton thinks because I whistle and make a noise that I'm just +mean and hateful and everything else. She thinks I don't care. Why, +Delia! if anything happened to Ruth I'd feel exactly as if I didn't +want to live another day. I--I--O Delia!" + +For the first time she gave way, and, hiding her head in her arms, +sobbed heavily. + +By this time Delia had risen to a point of burning anger against her +child's detractor. Her heart beat loyally for Nan, and she could +scarcely restrain the words of resentment that rose to her lips, and +that it would have been such unwisdom to have uttered. + +"Never mind, Nannie lamb!" she said. "It'll be all right in the +morning. The child will be all well in the morning. You'll see she +ain't so bad as they think. And to-morrow I'll go and tell them all +about it. And perhaps they'll see then it's better to be slow accusin' +where the guilt ain't proved. Come, come! Don't cry so! Why, Nannie, +child, you haven't cried like this since you were--I can't tell how +little. You never cry, Nan. You're always so brave, and never give +way. You'll have a headache if you don't stop. Dry your tears, and +to-morrow it'll be all right." + +So, little by little, she soothed the girl, and by and by Nan ate her +dinner, and then, when it was later, she went to bed. But when +everything was hushed and still a dark figure crept noiselessly down +stairs and on into the outer darkness. Down the street it stole until +it had reached a house, which, alone in all the row of darkened +barrack-like dwellings, showed a dimly lit window to the night. There +it halted. And there it stood, like a faithful sentinel, only +deserting its post when the gray light of early morning rose slowly +over the world and the city was astir once more. + + + + +CHAPTER III + +MR. TURNER'S PLAN + +"I am deeply sorry," said Mr. Turner, "and can only apologize in my +friend's name for any annoyance his daughter may have caused you. Of +course I cannot agree with you that she annoys you purposely. A child +of William Cutler could not well be other than large-hearted and +generous. She may be a little undisciplined perhaps, but it shall be +attended to, Madam! I assure you the matter shall be attended to." + +Mrs. Newton rose. She had called upon Mr. Turner to state her +complaint against Nan Cutler. Now that was accomplished she would go; +only she made a mental vow that if the lawyer were not as good as his +word, if he did not take immediate steps toward rectifying the matter, +she would follow it up herself and see that she was relieved of what, +in her anger, she called "that common nuisance." + +Meantime Nan herself was going about with a dead load of misery on her +heart. Delia had gone to the Newton's house early in the morning to +inquire after the sick child's condition and to repeat Nan's story to +her mother, but that lady was "not at home," and Delia understood that +to mean that Mrs. Newton declined to receive either her or her +explanation. She went home angry and disappointed. + +"I guess the little girl ain't much hurt," she announced to Nan. +"She's in bed to be sure, but I guess that's more on account of her +cold than anything else. She isn't going to be crippled, Nan, now +don't you fret. She'll be all right. Now you see if she ain't." + +Nan's own flushed cheeks and brilliant eyes, the result of her +yesterday's chilly adventures, worried the good woman not a little. If +she had dared she would have liked to "coddle her child," but Nan was +not one of the coddling kind, and would have scorned being made a baby +of. She went about the house in one of her unhappy moods, restless and +wretched and unable to amuse herself, and finding the hours +never-endingly long. + +When the bell rang she welcomed the sound as a grateful diversion and +ran to the balusters and hung over the railing to see who might be the +new-comer. She was glad of any break in the monotony of such a +miserable day. + +When Delia opened the door and admitted Mr. Turner, Nan's heart gave a +big leap. Visions of what might be in store for her, the result of +Mrs. Newton's action against her, thronged her brain and made her +shudder with apprehension. What if Mr. Turner had come to say that she +was to be sent to the House of Correction, or some horrid +boarding-school where one don't get enough to eat and where one +couldn't poke one's nose outside the door. A set expression settled on +the girl's face that did not augur well for her reception of whatever +plan the lawyer might have to propose. + +When Delia came to call her, she sighed. She saw plainly enough that +Nan's "contrary fit" was on, and she wondered how much the lawyer would +accomplish by his visit under the circumstances. + +Nan went down to him sullenly determined to stand by her guns and +absolutely refuse to be committed to either a reformatory or any other +establishment of a similar character. + +"How do you do, my dear?" was Mr. Turner's kindly greeting as the girl +entered the room. + +Nan replied, "Very well, sir," thinking, at the same time, that she +would not be disarmed by kindness nor permit herself to be cajoled into +doing anything she did not wish to do. No one really had the right to +order her about, and she would resolutely oppose any one who assumed +such a right. + +But presently she found herself telling her father's friend the story +of yesterday's disaster, quite simply and with entire willingness. + +"So," Mr. Turner said at the conclusion, "I thought that the good lady +must have made a mistake. I felt pretty sure your father's daughter +would never be guilty of cowardice nor of deliberately planning to +destroy the peace of any one. I knew you could not be the girl Mrs. +Newton described. She seemed to think you were--why, my dear, she gave +me to understand that you were quite wild and lawless; that you were a +bad influence in the neighborhood, and that you were so with full +consciousness of what you were doing. We must explain to Mrs. Newton! +We must explain!" + +"I don't lie!" declared Nan. "And I'm not a coward, and I don't try to +make her mad or hurt her children, but I do climb trees and I do race +and do figures on roller-skates, and I do do the rest of the things she +says I do and that she doesn't like." + +"And your school?" ventured the lawyer. + +"I don't go any more," announced Nan. "I had a fight with one of the +teachers, and so I left." + +Mr. Turner gazed suddenly upon the floor. + +"And this 'fight' with the teacher? Do you remember the cause of the +disturbance?" he asked, looking up after a moment. + +"She struck me with her ruler. I had a rubber baby doll, it was the +weeniest thing you ever saw, and she wore false puffs, Miss Fowler did, +and one day, when I was at the blackboard and she was looking the other +way, I just dropped the baby doll into one of the puffs that the +hair-pin had come out of, and that was standing up on end, and it +looked so funny on her head, the puff with the baby doll standing in +it, that all the girls laughed, and then she asked me what I had done, +and I told her, and she struck me. I wouldn't have said anything if +she had just punished me. I knew it was wrong to pop that doll on her +head, but I just couldn't help it--it looked too funny. But when she +struck me! Well, I won't be struck by any one--and so I left." + +The lawyer meditated in silence for a moment. Then he said: + +"Well, my dear, I think I understand the condition of things here. +Without doubt it is high time something were done. Your father, when +he went away, gave me full authority to make such arrangements for you +as I might feel were necessary, but until now I have rather avoided +taking upon myself any responsibility. Possibly I have neglected my +duty toward you. But now all that shall be changed. Don't you think +if I were to send you--" + +Nan's eyes blazed. So it was as she had felt sure it would be! She +was to be sent away! She did not wait for the sentence to be finished. + +"Send me to the House of Correction? I won't go, sir! I'll run away +first! Or a horrid boarding-school, neither. I guess my father didn't +mean me to be made unhappy, Mr. Turner; I guess he didn't mean any one +to have authority to send me to awful places just because Mrs. Newton +says so, away from Delia and things. You needn't send me anywhere, for +I'll run away as sure as you do." + +[Illustration: "I'll run away first!"] + +"Slowly--slowly!" cautioned Mr. Turner. "You go too fast! If you had +waited for me to finish my sentence you would have discovered that I +meant to send you neither to the House of Correction," here his eyes +twinkled with amusement, "nor to a 'horrid boarding-school.' What I +was about to say was that I propose to send you a lady who will teach +you here at home, who will be a friend and companion to you and whom +you will be sure to love. It is rather a curious coincidence that just +the other day I was talking to a lady who is anxious to procure just +such a position as this with you, and I am rather inclined to think +that she would be willing to come here and undertake it. At all +events, I have written to her asking her to consider the plan and in a +day or so I shall know her decision. If she concludes to come--if I +can induce her to come--I shall feel that you are very fortunate. You +will forgive me if I say that while I disagree with Mrs. Newton in most +respects regarding you, I feel with her that you are somewhat--well, +somewhat ungoverned and in need of just the sort of discipline that I +am sure Miss--the lady I speak of can maintain." + +He paused a moment, but when he saw that Nan made no comment or +objection he continued placidly: + +"You will hear from me in the course of a day or so, as soon as I +receive word from the lady herself. As I said, you will be very +fortunate if I can secure her services for you--more fortunate than she +will be, I fear," he said to himself, catching a glimpse of Nan's set +mouth and flashing eyes as he made his way to the door. Later, when he +recalled her expression, he was almost inclined to hope that the lady +would decide to refuse the office. He thought her acceptance of it +might involve her in rather more serious difficulties than he had +foreseen when he wrote to her in the first place. + +As a matter of fact, Nan was in a rage at the thought of a stranger +coming into the house to interfere with her and Delia, to teach her +what she did not want to learn, and to govern her when her sole idea of +happiness was to be free and untrammeled. Even Delia resented the +new-comer's intrusion. Had she managed the house for fourteen years +now, ever since Mrs. Cutler's death, only to be set aside and ruled +over by the first stranger who chose to imagine her position of +governess to Nan gave her the right to interfere in household affairs? +For of course she would interfere. Nan had drawn a vivid mental +picture of the governess, which through her persistence in repetition, +had begun to seem an actual description to herself and Delia. + +"She's tall and thin and lanky and old!" declared the girl whenever the +governess, who had accepted the appointment, was mentioned. "She has +horrid sharp eyes that spy out everything, and she wears glasses. +She'll never laugh because she'll say 'giggling is frivolous,' that's +what Miss Fowler used to say, and she'll talk arithmetic and grammar +and geography the whole blessed time. She'll snoop in your closets, +Delia, and into my bureau drawers, and she'll find out everything we +don't want her to know. Her hair is black and shiny, and I guess she +parts it in the middle and makes it come to the back of her head in a +little hard knot. Oh! I know just how she looks! I can see her every +time I shut my eyes--the horrid thing! Just like Miss Fowler at +school! And how I'll hate her! I'll hate her just as much as I did +Miss Fowler. I'll hate her more, because I can never get rid of her: +she'll always be here. Don't you fix up her room a single bit, Delia. +Make it look as awful as you can. Then perhaps she won't like it +and'll leave. I guess after a little while she won't think it agrees +with her to live here. Then we two'll be alone again, and I tell you, +won't we be glad, Delia?" + +In her heart Delia thought they would. She did not follow Nan's advice +to make the governess' room look "as awful as she could." She swept +and dusted it thoroughly, and set all the furniture in place, as she +had been accustomed to do for the last fourteen years, and when she had +finished the place was as uninviting as even Nan could have desired. +In fact, there was nothing attractive in the whole house. The +furniture was all good and substantial, but Delia had a way of ranging +it against the walls in a manner that made it seem stiff and +uncompromising. When a piece needed repairing, and with Nan about, +many a piece needed repairing often, it was stowed out of sight in the +trunk-room, or the cellar, and the carpets, which had been rich and +fashionable in their day, were allowed to lie now long after they had +become threadbare and faded. Delia kept the handsome paintings veiled +in tarlatan winter and summer, and she never removed the slip-covers +from the parlor sofas and chairs, whatever the season might be. Nan +did not care, because she knew nothing different, and there was no +loving, artful hand to make the best of the things and turn the house +into a home. + +Mrs. Newton had shivered as she entered the place; it seemed dark and +cold and forbidding to her, and she felt the mother-want at every turn, +but this had not made her any more lenient with Nan. Perhaps the +governess would make no allowances either. Delia made up her mind that +if things really came to the pass where Nan was being abused, she in +person would "just step in and say her say, if it lost her her place." +She often talked of things losing her her place when the fact was that +she herself was the place: if it had not been for her the house must +have been closed, and Nan sent to boarding-school. Mr. Cutler would +never have trusted the care of his girl to a strange servant. + +"Yes, Ma'am," Delia said to herself, as she pushed the governess' bed +flat up against the wall. "Yes, Ma'am! if I see her going for to abuse +Nan, I'll set to and give her a piece of my mind such as she ain't +likely to have got in one while, I tell you that," and she gave the +bureau a vicious tweak and pulled down the shade with a resentful jerk. + +When Nan saw the room she was disgusted. + +"Why, Delia Connor! you haven't done a single thing I told you to," she +cried out angrily. + +"I've swept and dusted it and that's all there was to do," retorted +Delia. + +"It looks perfectly lovely," resumed Nan, stamping her foot. "Do you +s'pose I want her to think we're glad to have her, and that we've +prepared for her? Well, I guess not! If she once gets into as good a +room as this she'll never go--she'll just hang on and on, and nothing +in the world will make her budge." + +"What do you want me to do?" asked Delia with irritation. + +Nan looked at her scornfully for a moment. "Do? Why, what I told you +to do! Make the room look awful--perfectly hideous. Make it so she +can't help but see we don't want her here. Make it a hint--and a +strong one too." + +Delia folded her arms deliberately. "Well, whatever you want to act +like, Nan," she said, "I can tell you I ain't going to do anything +unladylike, so there!" and she stalked out of the room with dignity. + +Nan surveyed the place in silence. What was to be done? If she +removed all the furniture but the bed and the bureau and left the +governess nothing to sit down on, it would only reflect discreditably +upon the family's supply of household goods. If she carefully sifted +back the dust Delia had just removed, it would merely prove that the +people in this house were of a slovenly and careless habit, and that +they were sadly in need of some one to oversee their work. Moreover, +would a person as dull of feeling as this governess must be, appreciate +the hint conveyed in so delicate and indirect a manner? No. She would +be sure to lose the point. Nan felt it would never do to take any risk +of her misunderstanding. Whatever she did must be unmistakable and +absolutely direct. + +She racked her brain to discover just the right thing, but she was +rewarded by no brilliant idea, and she felt crosser than ever by the +time noon had arrived. But suddenly, at the luncheon table, she gave a +wild leap from her chair and clapped her hands frantically, while Delia +almost let a dish fall in her surprise at this sudden and unexpected +demonstration. + +"For the land's sake, what is it now?" she demanded, while Nan caught +her around the waist and whirled her about the room, vegetable dish and +all. + +"I've got it! I've got it!" screamed the girl, convulsed with inward +laughter. "I've got the best scheme in the world. Delia, you old +duck! Oh, won't it settle her though! Won't it settle her?" But she +would not reveal who was to be settled, nor how, though Delia pleaded +earnestly to be enlightened and even offered to help her make caramels +as a bribe. + +"No, thank you, Ma'am! I wouldn't have time to boil 'em. I'm going to +be as busy as a beaver all the afternoon, so no matter what happens +don't you disturb me," continued Nan, importantly. + +Delia shrewdly suspected that the scheme afoot had something to do with +the governess, but she did not dare suggest it. + +"Oh, well, what I don't know I can't cry over," she said to herself, +"and when Nan's like this, all the king's horses and all the king's men +couldn't stop her, so I might as well hold my tongue. But I'll say +this much, I don't envy that governess her job, whoever she may be." + +Meanwhile Nan had gone to her own room and shut and locked the door. +Her next move was to take her night-dress from its hook and slip it +over her head. + +"Now I'm going to rehearse," she announced to her reflection in the +glass. "First I must get my eyes to seem kind of wide and starey. No! +not this way. They must look like licorice-drops in milk. There! +that's better! All expressionless, and that kind of thing. I s'pose I +might shut 'em, some somnabulists do; but then I'd be sure to trip over +the furniture and stub my toes, and give the whole business away. No, +I must keep my eyes open; that's certain. Then I must glide when I +walk. My step must be light and ghostly and noiseless. I must be sure +to have it ghostly and noiseless. Now--eyes staring--one, two, +three--step ghostly and noiseless--Oh, bother! What business had that +footstool in my way? If I knock things over like that I'll wake the +house, and Delia would know in a minute what I was up to. There! get +into the corner, you old thing! Now again! Eyes staring--step +ghostly--and noiseless--voice low and mournful, but I must manage to +make her understand every word. Now once more--voice low and mournful-- + +"Alas! alas! why did she come?--why did she come? (No, I can't say +that! It sounds too much like 'Why did he die! Why did he die?' But +the alas is good! That sounds real creepy and weird.) Now then--Alas! +alas! This is the worst thing that ever happened to me in all my life! +My dear, old home! To think that anybody who isn't wanted should come +and push herself like this into my dear, old home! O father! father! +come home from Bombay, and save me from this awful woman. Turn her out +of the house! Make her go back where she came from! Her hated form +haunts me in my sleep, and I dream all night of her as I see her in the +daytime--tall--and thin--and lanky--with her hair all dragged into that +ugly little knob behind at the back of her head! O father! father! her +eyes are like needles! They prick me when she looks. Save me!--save +me! My heart will break if some one doesn't come and rescue me from +this terrible person. Take her away--take her away! Ah--I see her! I +see her! Get away--get away! You awful creature! Don't you know you +are causing an innocent girl to perish in her youth? Alas, she won't +go! Then listen, reckless woman! and remember this warning--'the way +of intruders is hard!' + +"There! that ends it off with a sort of threatening dreadfulness that +ought to scare her stiff. After I've said that in a whisper to freeze +her blood, I'll turn silently from her bedside and glide noiselessly +from the room, wringing my hair and tearing my hands; no, I mean just +the other way, and if that doesn't fix her, why--I'll have to go over +it all again, of course, so I won't forget. Perhaps it would be a good +idea to write it down and learn it off by heart." + +The idea in fact recommended itself so thoroughly to her that she +followed her own suggestion without further delay and wrote off the +entire harangue at once, making it, if possible, even more eloquent and +harrowing than it had been in the original. It seemed a very long, +wearisome task, to commit it all to memory, but she did not grudge the +trouble. She had never attempted anything that looked like study with +so much willingness. The afternoon slipped away like a dream, and as +soon as dinner was over she set to work again, and by bed-time had the +thing pretty well under control. Whenever she halted or stumbled she +went over it all again with the most patient perseverance. + +"I suppose if I had stuck to things at school like this I'd have been +at the head of the class," she said to herself with a whimsical sense +of her own perversity. + +Delia was completely nonplused. She could not imagine what "that child +was up to." There were no evidences anywhere of the means she was +going to employ in the governess' initiation. Her room was in perfect +order, and in Nan's own chamber nothing was unusually amiss. She got +no satisfaction from the girl herself, who kept her lips tightly +closed, except when she was mumbling over her harangue. It was +terribly perplexing--and ominous. + +"Good land!" thought Delia in real anxiety, "I only hope she ain't +going to do anything too dreadful. I declare, if it weren't that I'm +so soft where Nannie is concerned I'd say I'd be glad that some one's +coming who may be up to managin' her. I'm free to confess I ain't. If +only her mother had lived! Or, if only my dear Miss Belle hadn't gone +off to the ends of the earth--! Miss Belle could have managed her! No +one could resist Miss Belle, bless her! Ah, dear me, dear me! It's +fifteen years, and to think, I'll never see her face again!" + + + + +CHAPTER IV + +THE GOVERNESS + +The morning of the expected governess' arrival dawned cold and dreary. +Rain fell in torrents, and the streets were drenched and slippery with +slush. All day Nan moped in unhappy expectation of her anticipated +thralldom. At every sound of rumbling wheels before the door she would +fly to the window, torturing herself with the belief that this was the +hack which was conveying the tyrant-governess to the victim-pupil, and +she felt a curious sort of disappointment when no such vehicle appeared +and no such personage arrived, for always the rumbling wheels belonged +to some grocer's cart or butcher's wagon, and by evening the invader +had still not appeared. Then Nan plucked up courage. + +"I shouldn't wonder if she had been switched off the road," she said to +Delia, inclining to be quite jolly at the mere thought of such a +grateful possibility. And she pictured to herself an accommodating +engine whizzing the unwelcome guest off into some remote region from +which she would never see the desirability of returning. Nan wished +her no ill, but she did not wish herself ill either. She ate her +dinner quite contentedly, and was just going to settle down comfortably +to some thrilling tale of adventure when Br--r--r! went the bell, and +she knew her fate had descended upon her. + +She flew to the parlor and hid behind the folding-door. She heard +Delia ascend the basement stairs. She heard her come along the hall, +and then--it was very strange, but Nan really thought she heard her +give a smothered exclamation that was instantly followed by the word of +warning, "Hush!"--but she must have been mistaken, for it was only Mr. +Turner who was speaking. He was asking for Nan herself. She slipped +from behind the door with the hope at her heart that even now, at the +last minute, the governess had "backed out." Certainly it looked as if +she had, since she saw only the lawyer standing by the hat-stand. She +held out her hand to him with a real smile of greeting when--he stepped +aside and there stood the governess. + +At first Nan thought it must be some little girl, so small and slender +looked the figure beside that of the tall man. The eyes beneath the +rain-soaked brim of the governess' hat were soft and dark; her hair was +brown, and the damp wind had blown it into innumerable little curls and +tendrils about her temples, where it took on a ruddy sheen in the gas +light. Her nose was delicate and short; her mouth, which was not +small, was fascinating from the fact that the parting lips disclosed +two rows of perfect teeth. She had two dimples that came and went as +she smiled, and in her chin was a small cleft that was quivering a +little, Nan noticed. She thought the governess looked as if she were +going to cry. Her eyes seemed somewhat "teary round the lashes," and +there was no doubt about it--her chin was quivering. + +"Pooh!" thought Nan. "I might have saved myself all that worry. She's +as afraid as she can be. I guess I'll be able to manage her as easy as +pie." + +But now Mr. Turner was addressing her. + +"Nan," he was saying, "this is Miss Blake. Can't you welcome her to +her new home, my dear?" + +Nan hung back in awkward silence, but the new governess did not give +her the opportunity to make the moment an embarrassing one. She +stepped forward, and, taking the girl's hand in her own, said softly: + +"Mr. Turner has told me all about you. I hope we shall be very happy +together." + +She did not attempt to kiss her. + +Nan murmured an indistinct "Yes'm," and shrank back against the wall. +Delia stood beside the new governess with a very curious expression on +her face. For a moment there was silence, and then Mr. Turner broke in +upon it with: + +"I think it would be well if Miss Blake were to be shown to her room at +once. She is drenched with the rain and must be cold and hungry. Will +you be good enough, Delia, to get her something to eat while Nan takes +her upstairs?" + +Nan started forward quickly at the note of rebuke in the lawyer's voice. + +"Oh, won't you come to your room?" she asked. + +She vaguely wondered what made Delia look so strange and act in such a +dazed, uncertain fashion. She thought she must be a sad "'fraid-cat" +to be overawed by such a little personage as the new governess. + +"Now I will say good-night," said Mr. Turner to Miss Blake, as she +started to follow Nan above. "I hope," he added in an undertone, +taking her hand, "that you will be happy. Don't become discouraged. +Send for me whenever you need me. I am always at your service." + +She silently bowed her thanks. Somehow she found it difficult to speak +just then. She had been tired and cold before she entered the house, +but it seemed to her she had not known weariness or chill until now. +She felt herself shiver as she turned away from the lawyer and heard +the door close behind him. He seemed to be leaving her alone with an +enemy. + +Nan certainly looked anything but amicable. + +"Here's your room," she announced, as they reached the upper landing. +She flung open a door, and the new governess found herself stepping +forth into utter darkness, where Nan herself was groping about for +matches. The air of the place was cold and damp. It had the feel of a +room that was unused. It was barren and cheerless. But in the second +preceding Nan's discovery of the matches Miss Blake hoped that when the +gas was lit it would seem more inviting. But it did not. It was bare +and undecorated, and presented anything but an attractive appearance. + +The stranger drew two long pins from her hat without saying a word. +Nan turned on her heel and made to leave the room. + +"Will you please tell me where I can find some warm water?" inquired +Miss Blake. + +"Washstand in that little dressing-room. Left-hand faucet," announced +Nan, curtly, and marched away. + +The governess gently closed the door. + +Perhaps if Nan had remained there to see she would have wondered if +Miss Blake were quite in her right mind. Her behavior was certainly +extraordinary. The tears rained down her cheeks, and she did not try +to stop them. She just stood in the middle of the floor and gazed +about at the awkwardly-placed furniture, the faded carpet, the bare +walls, and the ugly mantel-piece as if she could not take her eyes from +them. She turned slowly from one thing to another, and presently, in a +sort of timid, hungry way, she stretched out her hand and touched each +separate object with her caressing fingers, crying very hard the while +and murmuring to herself in so low a voice that no one could have +overheard. + +Even Nan must have softened to her as she stood there crying softly and +smiling through her tears at this bare and unfamiliar room. Even Nan +must have been moved to wonder what Miss Blake had suffered that she +was so glad to get into such an uninviting shelter as this. + +But Nan was down stairs in the basement watching Delia prepare a dainty +supper for the governess, and scowling at her as she saw to what +trouble she went to make it appetizing and delicate. + +"There, Delia Connor!" she burst out resentfully, "you're the worst +turn-coat I ever saw in my life! This very afternoon you looked black +as thunder when you thought she had come, and now you are just dancing +attendance on her, as if she was the best friend you ever had!" + +"Perhaps she is," responded Delia, placing sprigs of parsley neatly +about the sliced chicken and setting the coffee-pot on the range. + +Nan tossed her head scornfully. "Well, I like that! I should think +you'd be ashamed! A perfect stranger like her!" + +Delia did not answer. She was crushing ice for the olives, and as Nan +spoke she bent her face over the table and pounded away in silence. +But when she had finished, she lifted her head and said, amiably: + +"Oh, you can't tell. By the looks of her I should think she is a +good-natured little body. She has the true eyes. When you see eyes +like that you can mostly be sure they've an honest soul behind 'em. I +shouldn't wonder if she'd be a good friend to any one who'd let her." + +"Huh!" sneered Nan, wrathfully, "that means, I s'pose, that you intend +to let her. Never talk to me of turn-coats any more, Delia Connor!" + +Delia caught up a coal-hod and strode deliberately off toward the +cellar stairs. When she came back she was laden down with kindlings +and coal. + +"What you going to do with those?" demanded Nan, imperatively. + +"Build a fire in the library. I guess a spark'll look good to the poor +little soul--coming in out of the cold and wet." + +This was the last straw. Nan's eyes flashed, and she tore after Delia +upstairs, scolding as fast as the words would come. + +"The idea! The idea! A fire! 'Poor little soul!' And many's the +time I've come in out of the cold and you haven't even as much as lit +the gas! Oh, no; never mind me! I can come in out of the cold till +every tooth in my head chatters, and you wouldn't care a straw. Why, +Delia Connor, we never have that fire lit. You just know we don't! +There hasn't been a fire in that grate since daddy went away! You know +very well there hasn't, and now the first thing you do is to light it +for that horrid governess-woman that's going to boss you 'round like +anything, and make me do all sorts of hateful things. I tell you what +it is, Delia Connor, you don't care a single thing about me. I know +just how 'twill be. You'll help her to do anything she wants to, and +you'll never stand up for me a bit. It's mean of you, Delia! It's +downright mean of you. And it's just because she's got those dimples +and things, and smiles at you as if you were her best friend. But she +needn't think she can manage me. I'm not going to be ordered about by +her, if she has got a soft voice and shiny eyes!" + +Nan and the fire sputtered and blazed as though they were trying to see +which could outdo the other, and Delia stood by looking first at this +one and then at that with a good deal less fear of the sparks from the +grate than of those from Nan's eyes. + +She knew better than to try to pacify the girl when her temper was at +such a white-heat, and she inwardly wondered what would happen if the +governess should come down while it was yet at its worst. As if in +answer to her question they heard the sound of an opening door above, +and immediately after Miss Blake's light steps upon the stairs. Nan +bit a word off square in the middle and set her lips tightly together. +Delia removed the "blower" from the grate and the dancing flames leaped +high up the chimney and sent a ruddy glow about the room. The only +sounds to be heard were the comfortable ticking of the tall clock in +the corner and the low purring of the fire behind its bars. Miss Blake +came down the hall and paused on the library threshold. + +"Oh, how jolly!" she cried, clapping her hands like a delighted child +and running forward eagerly to the hearth. "How perfectly jolly! +Don't you think an open fire is the most comfortable thing in the +world? And I always loved this one particularly--I mean this kind," +she corrected herself quickly. + +Nan made no response. She sat in her father's study-chair as stiff and +stolid as a lay-figure in a shop window, with her lips drawn primly +over her teeth. + +Miss Blake was, or pretended to be, unconscious of her attitude, +however, and went on talking as easily as though she had the most +appreciative of listeners. + +"When I was a little girl I used to love to cuddle down here on the +hearth-rug--I mean I used to love to cuddle down on the hearth-rug and +look into the burning coals. I used to see all sorts of wonderful +things in the flames. They used to tell me I'd 'singe my curly pow +a-biggin' castles in the air,' but I didn't mind, did I--I mean I +didn't mind," she caught herself up quickly. + +Delia coughed behind her hand and hurriedly left the room in order to +get Miss Blake's supper, which she meant to serve upstairs for the +occasion. + +As soon as she was gone the new governess turned toward Nan in a +strange apologetic sort of way and said: + +"I think, if you'll excuse me, I'll just cuddle down on the rug as I +used to do when--when I was a little girl. It seems so good to get +back--to an open fire that it makes me quite homesick. You won't mind, +will you?" + +Nan gave a grunt that was meant for "No," and the new governess plumped +down upon the floor with her chin in her palms and her elbows on her +knees, looking so much like a little girl that for a second Nan had a +wild impulse to plump down beside her and inquire, by way of opening +the acquaintance-- + +"Say, does your hair curl like that naturally--or does your mother put +it up at night?" or something equally introductory and to the point. +But of course she did no such thing, and when Delia reappeared she +found them regarding the fire in perfect silence. + +At the sound of her step Miss Blake lifted her head and gave Nan a +bewildering smile. + +"How stupid I have been! Do forgive me!" she said. "We have been +having what the Germans call 'an English conversation,' haven't we? I +was thinking so hard I quite forgot you--and myself. Ah, what a pretty +supper! But I put you to so much trouble," and she turned on Delia two +very grateful eyes, while she jumped to her feet with the lightest +possible ease. + +Delia beamed down upon her beatifically and gave an extra touch to the +dainty tray. Nan from her chair scowled darkly upon the whole +performance. Delia had deserted her cause; had gone over bodily to the +enemy--that was plain. But she needn't flaunt her defection in Nan's +very face. Why, it was positively disgraceful the way Delia fetched +and carried for this person already, and looked, all the while, as if +she could hardly keep from dancing for very joy at the privilege. +Well, this governess needn't think that Nan was the kind to be won over +by a few smiles and some flickering dimples. When Nan said a thing she +meant it and she stuck to it, too. She wasn't a turn-coat like some +folks she knew. + +"'Alas, alas! my dear old home--! To think that anybody who isn't +wanted should come and push herself like this into my dear old home! +Oh, father, her eyes are like--' Good gracious! all that description +part would have to be changed!" Nan pulled herself together with a +visible jerk. How could she speak of "needly eyes" when those of the +governess were so deep and soft and gray that they made you feel +like--no, they didn't either; but they weren't needly all the same. +No! That whole description part would have to be changed. Bother! +Well, if it came to that she guessed she could do it! "Her hated form +haunts me in my sleep, and I dream of her all night as I see her in the +daytime--little and dear, with her hair all shimmery and soft and her +eyes kind of kissing you softly all the time, and--" Goodness! that +would never do! Why it would be crazy to call on one's father to +rescue one from a person like that. Well, she'd leave out the +description altogether, that's what she'd do. She-- + +"Did you speak?" asked the governess, in her musical voice, turning +toward Nan inquiringly, and then the girl suddenly realized that she +had been mumbling her thoughts aloud. + +"No, I didn't," she responded, with irritation. "It was too bad," she +declared to herself it was, "that after all the trouble she had taken +to learn the thing by heart, she should be pestered to death by having +to make changes in it this way--at the last minute, too. Why wasn't +Miss Blake tall and lanky and needly-eyed and a fright, she'd like to +know? It was just like her, though! So contrary! To change about and +upset all Nan's plans. Well, as long as there was so much fuss about +the thing, she s'posed she'd give it up." + +"She's so little, it'll be easy enough to manage her. I guess it isn't +worth while. I can just say, to-morrow or next day, 'Miss Blake, I've +come to the conclusion you don't suit,' and she'll go right off. She +may cry a little, but I won't mind that; and if she begs to stay, I'll +say, 'Now there's no use teasing! When I once say a thing I mean it!' +and that will settle her once for all." + +Delia was pressing the governess to take more supper when Nan again +waked to what was going on about her. + +"Why, you don't eat any more than you used--I mean than a bird. Do +take a little more chicken, do! And a cup of coffee, nice and hot, +that's a good--lady!" + +It was really too humiliating! It was more than Nan could bear. She +sprang to her feet and without a word--with nothing but a glance of +withering scorn at Delia--swept out of the room and upstairs to bed. + +Miss Blake looked after her with strange, wondering eyes, but made no +attempt to follow her. She just turned to Delia and stretched out her +hands. + +"O Delia! Delia!" she faltered, brokenly. + +The woman came to her and took both the little hands in hers. "Bless +you, dearie!" she cried. "That I ever lived to see the day! There, +there, lamb, don't cry so, Allanah! See, I'm not crying, am I now?" +sobbed she, kneeling beside the stranger and hugging her knees wildly. +"Oh, but it's glad I am to see your dear face again! Now tell me all +about it--how you came to know we need you so bad?" + + + + +CHAPTER V + +GETTING ACQUAINTED + +Nan, in spite of the fact that she assured herself her heart was +broken, fell asleep as soon as her head touched the pillow. She slept +heavily customarily but to-night her rest was fitful and troubled. She +kept dreaming strange dreams that caused her to twitch in her sleep and +give queer little cries of distress and moans of fretfulness. +Sometimes she seemed to be trying to overtake something that was +constantly eluding her. First it was a long, lank creature with +piercing eyes and a knob at the back of its head which it seemed to be +Nan's duty, not to say pleasure, to shoot off with a paper of needles. +Then it was something she must recollect or be put to death for +forgetting; some awful harangue that she had been doomed to deliver +before Delia and a vast crowd of other people, all of whom were staring +at her regretfully and murmuring to one another that it was a shame +such a hoyden should be allowed to live; and again it was some dainty +little creature with tender eyes and shining hair that Nan longed to +follow but could not because of something inside her breast that held +her back and would not let her call. + +Miss Blake did not go to her room until very late. She and Delia kept +up a steady stream of conversation until long after midnight, and even +then the governess would not have paused if Delia had not been struck +with sudden compunction. + +"Dear heart alive!" she cried, scrambling to her feet hastily as the +clock chimed twelve. "Here you've been wore out with tiredness and +excitement and I keep you up till all hours pressin' you with questions +that you ain't fit to answer, just as if we wouldn't have time an' to +spare together for the rest of our lives, please Heaven! Now go to +bed, dearie, so you'll be all rested and fresh in the morning." + +Miss Blake shook her head. "No, not all the rest of our lives +together, Delia," she cried, hurriedly; "it can only be for a year at +most. You said it would be a year, didn't you? Well, then, you know I +could not stay after that." + +"Go to bed, dearie," was Delia's sole response. "And may you sleep +easy and have no dreams." + +She took her upstairs herself, just as if the governess had been a +little girl; and was not satisfied until she had brushed out the masses +of shining hair and woven them into a long, ruddy braid behind. Then +she smoothed the pillow lovingly and with another hearty "sleep well" +went down stairs to "do up" her dishes and get the house closed for the +night. + +When she finally stole up to her own room through the pitchy halls she +was glad to see that there was no light in the governess' room and that +all was darkness and silence within. + +"Good! She's asleep by this time, the dear!" murmured the faithful +soul, and was soon snoring peacefully herself, quite worn out with the +excitement of the evening. + +But Miss Blake was not asleep. Her eyes stared widely into the +darkness and her brain was spinning with all sorts of teasing thoughts. +She listened to the ticking of her watch beneath her pillow--to the +muffled chime of the tall clock in the room below--to the gentle rattle +of plaster inside the walls where some hidden mouse was scuttling in +search of a stolen supper, and tried to soothe herself into a doze but +failed and tried and failed again. + +Suddenly she sat bolt upright in bed. The sound she heard now was a +new one, and one that caused her flesh to tingle. It was the sound of +a stealthy hand upon her door. The knob turned noiselessly, the hinges +gave a faint whine, and there on the threshold stood a white-robed +figure, ghastly and spectral in the pallid light that fell upon it from +the cloud-freed moon outside. Miss Blake did not utter a sound and the +apparition glided forward with slow, measured steps until it stood +beside her bed. Its eyes were staring and wide and fixed. + +"It's Nan!" thought Miss Blake, not daring to speak aloud. + +The apparition did not remove its gaze. Presently it sighed. Then it +raised its head and spoke and its voice was weirdly low and mournful. + +"Alas, alas!" it wailed. "This is the worst thing that ever happened +to me in all my life. My dear old home! To think that anybody who +isn't wanted should come and push herself like this into my dear old +home! What does she know of the way I feel? I can never tell her how +I hate to have her here, for that would be unladylike. But oh, how I +hate it! No, I must keep my lips closed and bear her persecution in +silence." + +Two white hands were raised and wrung in a way that was truly tragic. + +"O father, father!" groaned the ghost, making wild grabs at its hair, +"come home from Bombay and save me from this awful woman. Turn her out +of the house. Make her go back where she came from. Her hated form +haunts me in my sleep and I dream all night of her as I see her in the +daytime." + +Miss Blake caught her breath in a struggling gasp of dread as to what +would come next. + +"Tall and thin and lanky, with hair all dragged into that ugly little +hard knob at the back of her head!" + +The ghost paused, and its uneasy hands clasped each other convulsively +while it showed plainly that it was confused in its mind and struggling +to grasp a thought it could not express. + +Miss Blake breathed a deep sigh of relief. She had really begun to +suspect that it was a vision of herself that was haunting Nan in her +nightmare. Of course now she knew better. For surely she was not +"tall and lanky," and her hair was certainly not "dragged into an ugly +little knob at the back of her head." How grateful she was it had not +proved to be herself. + +"O father! her eyes are like needles." + +Miss Blake could have shouted for joy. But who could this awful +bugbear be? + +"They prick me when she looks! Save me! Save me! my heart will break +if some one doesn't come and rescue me from this terrible person. Take +her away! She's coming at me with her needly eyes! Daddy! Daddy!" + +The uneasy spirit rocked backward and forward in the intensity of its +emotion. It stretched out its arms and wagged a threatening +forefinger, while it mumbled some unintelligible warning in a voice +that faltered and wavered, and then frayed off to a mere wheeze that +sounded suspiciously like a snore. + +Miss Blake would have risen if she had dared, but she dreaded the +effect even the slightest shock might have upon Nan, in what she never +doubted was a somnambulistic trance. But when the white-robed figure +turned slowly about and retraced its steps to the threshold, she +started up and noiselessly followed after to make sure that the girl +arrived safely in her own bed and showed no sign of further wandering +that night. + +Never was a passage from room to room made more deliberately, and when +the bed was reached the phantom scrambled into it, dragged the blankets +closely about her shoulders and with a sigh of satisfaction settled +herself to slumber. + +The governess crept back to her own room, thoroughly chilled and +shivering with nervousness. It was an hour or more before she felt +herself growing drowsy, but at last she dropped asleep and slept +heavily until long past the usual rising hour. + +Nan waked at her accustomed time, feeling tired and irritable. She +found Delia in the kitchen, preparing a tempting breakfast with more +than her habitual care. + +"Huh!" grunted the girl. "We have hot muffins every morning, don't we? +And griddle-cakes! and eggs, and scallops, and fried potatoes, too! +Oh, no! we're not making any fuss for the governess. Oh, no! none at +all! If I were you I'd be ashamed of myself, Delia Connor!" + +Delia pursed her lips together and made no retort. + +It did not improve Nan's temper to have to wait for her breakfast until +Miss Blake should appear. But Delia made no attempt to serve her, and +she was too proud to ask. Happily the delay was not too serious, and +the governess appeared at the dining-room door just in time to prevent +the muffins from falling and Nan's temper from rising. + +"Good morning!" said the cheery voice. + +"--morning!" snapped Nan. + +"I overslept," continued the governess apologetically; "and I am +thoroughly ashamed of myself. I beg your pardon. But I was very +tired. I did not sleep over-well the first part of the night." + +"You're not late--or--or anything," said Nan. "I never get up till I +feel like it." + +Miss Blake made no comment. + +"And how did you sleep?" she asked after a moment, her eyes laughing +mischievously as though in spite of her, while her face remained quite +sober. + +"All right," responded Nan, uncommunicatively. + +"No dreams?" + +The girl shook her head non-committally. + +"Now, I wonder whether I could tell you your dream," ventured the +governess, the light fading a little in her eyes. + +Nan did not encourage her to try. + +"You were being pursued by some awful creature--oh, quite a gorgon, I +should say!" + +The girl lifted her head. + +"This relentless creature was deaf to all your appeals, though you +appealed to her touchingly, something after this style: Alas, Alas! +this is the worst thing that ever happened to me in all my--" + +"Stop!" cried Nan, suddenly, with blazing eyes, "I didn't! I didn't! +Delia listened. She told on me. You're making fun of me, and you're +both of you just as mean as you can be, so there!" + +She started up from her chair, which she thrust behind her so roughly +that it fell to the ground with a bang, and rushed toward the door in a +fury of anger and mortification. + +Miss Blake sprang from her place and tried to detain her, crying: + +"Nan, Nan! What do you mean? I was only in sport! Come back, dear, +and let me tell you all about it." But the girl fled past her, +flinging her hand passionately away and spurning her attempt at +explanation. A moment later the street door flung to with a loud slam. + +The quick tears sprang to the governess' eyes, but she crushed them +back. + +"Don't mind her, dearie," said Delia, consolingly, but with an effort +and a sigh. "She ain't always like this. She's sorter upset just now. +She don't mean any harm, and she'll be sorry enough for what she's done +come lunchtime. Now, you see." + +"But I don't understand," Miss Blake cried. "She said you listened and +that you told me, and that we were both making fun of her. She thinks +we are in league against her. What can she mean? Why, I was only +repeating some nonsense she said in her sleep last night, and I thought +she would be amused to hear an account of it. She came into my room +and orated in the most tragic fashion. What does she mean by saying +you listened and told me?" + +Delia shook her head. What she privately thought on the subject she +would not have told Miss Blake for worlds. + +"If you take my advice," she ventured, "you won't mind what Nan says. +She's quick as a flash, but she's got a good, big heart of her own, and +it's in the right place, too. Just let her be." + +"Let her be?" interrupted Miss Blake, hastily, "not if this is the way +she is going to be. That is not what I am here for. I am here to +educate her, Delia, and I intend to do it." + +Delia could see that she meant what she said. There was a determined +expression about her mouth that would have surprised Nan if she had +seen it. But at noon, when she returned, the governess' face was as +placid as ever. She and Delia were discussing the price of butter in +the most intimate fashion possible, and Nan snorted audibly as she +heard them agree that it was ruinously high. + +Delia had played a poor enough part before, "kow-towing" to the enemy +the first thing, but now she had deliberately betrayed her--Nan. Had +"gone back on her" in the most flagrant fashion. It was the meanest +thing she had ever heard of and she'd pay Delia back, you see if she +wouldn't! To listen at key-holes and then go and tell-tale! + +"Have you had a pleasant morning?" Miss Blake asked, affably, as Nan +entered the room. + +She got a grudging affirmative, but nothing daunted she continued: "It +is so cold now there ought to be good skating. Perhaps you and I can +take a spin some day. Do you skate?" + +Again Nan answered "Yes," but this time there was a gleam of interest +in her tone. + +"When my trunk comes I must show you my skates. I think them +particularly fine: altogether too fine for one who skates as +indifferently well as I do. I am sure you will prove a much better +skater than I am. Somehow I fancy you are very proficient." + +"I like to skate, and I guess I can do it pretty well. My father +taught me--to do figures and things. I don't know any one who can +skate as well as my father!" said Nan, with pardonable pride. + +"I used to skate a great deal when I lived in Holland," Miss Blake +observed. "There every one is so expert that I used to feel like a +great bungler. Seeing others do so beautifully made me feel as though +I were particularly awkward, and I really did keep in the background +because I was so ashamed of my clumsy performances. Perhaps though, +that was only an excuse for my not being able to do better, and one +ought not to offer excuses, ought one? Is there any pond near here on +which we might skate?" + +Nan's eyes gleamed. + +"Why, yes," she said. "We could go to the Park, or if you didn't want +to go there, there's a sort of a pond they call the 'Steamer,' quite +near here. Lots of people skate on it, and it's lovely fun. And +there's a place the other side of the Boulevard, where you can coast +beautifully. It's a jolly hill. We take our bobs there, and--the boys +and me--and--" + +"I," suggested Miss Blake, casually--"the boys and I." + +Nan blinked her eyes. The correction, however, passed by unresented. + +"The folks here think it isn't nice for me to bob, and--and things. +They think it's rough!" + +"Perhaps," ventured Miss Blake, "that may be because they have seen it +done in a rough way, or by rough persons. You know a great deal +depends upon how you do a thing." + +Again Nan blinked her eyes. She was thinking as she had the night +before: + +"Pooh! I can manage her," while Miss Blake, quite unconscious of what +was going on in her pupil's mind, continued: "I think if the weather +holds, we may have some very good sport, you and I. Don't you think +so? And now run upstairs and smooth your hair and wash your hands, for +Delia will have luncheon ready very shortly, and one must make one's +self tidy for meals, you know." + +And then a very singular thing occurred. Nan found herself on the +stairs in obedience to the governess' command almost before she was +aware, and she proceeded to make herself tidy, with no thought of +refusal at all. + +But at luncheon came the first tug-of-war. + +Nan was about to repeat her performance of the morning, namely, to push +her chair aside when she had finished eating and unceremoniously leave +the table. + +"Oh, pardon me!" interposed Miss Blake, quickly. "Please remain at the +table! You were excused at breakfast, but I am sure there is no +necessity for your running away again. We must pay each other the +respect to remain seated until we have both finished eating. You see, +I am still drinking my tea, and you must allow me another of Delia's +delicious cookies." + +It was all said very gently, but Nan recognized beneath all the kind +suggestion an unmistakable tone of command. + +She thrust her chair back still further. + +"I don't want to wait!" she answered, dryly. "I hate sitting at the +table after I'm through. You can eat all the cookies you like, only I +don't want to wait." + +"Ah, but, my dear, I want you to wait," Miss Blake said. "I demand of +you no more than I myself am willing to do. We must be courteous to +each other, and if you had not finished eating I should most certainly +remain until you had. I expect you to do no less for me." + +"Well, I can't help it! I don't want to stay and I--I won't!" declared +Nan, with a sudden burst of defiance. + +"Very well," returned Miss Blake, calmly. "Of course, you are too old +to be forced to act in a ladylike manner if you do not desire to do so. +But, equally, I am too old to be treated with discourtesy and +disrespect. If you are willing to behave in a rude manner and bear the +reproach that you will deserve, why, well and good--or, rather, ill and +bad! But I cannot sit at table with any but gentle mannered people. +Unless you wish to behave as becomes a lady, we must take our meals +apart." + +There was no smile now on the governess' face. Nan suddenly got the +impression that perhaps it would not be quite "as easy as pie" to +"manage" Miss Blake. It seemed to the girl that for the first time in +her life she had encountered determination outside of her own. It +challenged her from every line in the governess' little figure. For a +moment she hesitated before it. Then, gathering herself together and +summoning her dumb demon, she gave her shoulders a sullen shrug and +left the room without a word. + +Miss Blake finished her luncheon as though nothing had happened. Then +she rose, and, going into the kitchen, said a few words to Delia--words +that caused the good woman to blink hard for a second and then +exclaimed: + +"Yes'm. I will. It hurts me to cross the child, but I s'pose it is +best. You have a brave spirit to set yourself against Nan. I wouldn't +have the stren'th, let alone the will. But I s'pose you know what you +can do." + +"Oh, yes, Delia," replied the governess, with conviction. "I know very +well what I can do, but I shouldn't know if I did not have you to help +me. We're both conspiring for Nan's good, and we have to work +together." + +The rest of the afternoon Miss Blake spent in unpacking her trunk and +in disposing of its contents. Beside the trunk there was a cumbersome +case, a hamper, and a large crate such as is used for the shipment of +bicycles. Delia gazed at it in wonderment. Did the governess use a +wheel? If so, what would Mrs. Newton say? Delia trembled at the +thought, and eyed the box with especial interest as it was being +carried down stairs and deposited in the basement hall closet. + +Nan wandered in about twilight and found the house cheerfully lighted +and warm and comfortable. There was a fire in the library grate, and +she threw herself into a chair before it and lounged there luxuriously, +while above her head the new governess was tripping to and fro, +"putting her room to rights," Nan suspected. She wondered about that +room. She would have liked to go up there and see if those skates had +arrived, but of course she could not do that. The governess must not +think she cared to see her when she wasn't forced to. No, indeed! + +Later Miss Blake came down stairs, and drawing her chair nearer the +lamp, commenced to sew. Presently up came Delia. + +"Miss Blake," she said, with an emphasis Nan noticed and did not like, +"your dinner is served." + +Nan jumped up with an exaggerated yawn. Her hair was rough and +disordered, her frock was rumpled and untidy, her hands were obviously +soiled. Miss Blake remarked on none of these things. She laid her bit +of needle-work upon the table and quietly passed down stairs before Nan. + +The table was set for one, and the governess seated herself before the +solitary place. + +Nan stood at the side of the table in stiff and silent amazement. + +"Where's my place, Delia?" she called, ignoring Miss Blake, except for +an angry flash of her eyes. + +But Miss Blake was not to be ignored. + +"I thought you had decided to dine alone," she said. "At least, that +was the impression you conveyed to me at luncheon. If you have changed +your mind, Delia can easily set your place. Shall she do so?" + +The question was simple, but Nan knew what it involved. She was +speechless with rage. Her face alternately flushed and paled, while +her lips twitched spasmodically. + +"I--I--hate you!" she cried at last, with breathless vehemence. +"You've no right here. When my father comes he'll send you right away. +You see if he don't!" + +She flung herself in a paroxysm of anger out of the room. + +Miss Blake ate her dinner, it is true, but perhaps it was scarcely +strange that her relish of it was not great. Every mouthful seemed to +choke her. Delia saw her hand tremble as she raised her tumbler of +water to her lips. + +"This'll make you sick, dearie, this striving with Nan. She'll never +give in! Her will is that strong." + +But the governess shook her head. + +Nan ate no dinner that night, and the next day she slept late; that is, +she remained in bed late. Lying there cross and unhappy, she heard +sounds of voices in Miss Blake's room. Occasionally there were other +sounds as well; sounds of hammering and the moving of furniture across +the floor. + +When Nan was "good and ready" she rose and strolled down stairs with an +air of nonchalance that was for Miss Blake's benefit, should she chance +to see. + +She found the dining-room in perfect order and the kitchen deserted. +No breakfast, hot and tempting, awaited her as of old. Delia was +evidently upstairs, and Nan was too stubborn to call her down. She +prowled about the closets and cupboards until she discovered some cold +oatmeal, a bit of meat also cold, and a slice of bread. These, with a +cup of chilling milk, she gulped down hastily and with a thorough +disrelish. + +"Ugh!" she exclaimed, "how I hate it--and her!" + +It was a cheerless morning. The temperature had risen and a thick rain +was falling. There was nothing to do out-of-doors so Nan remained +within. It was Friday, and one of Delia's sweeping days. She was shut +up in the draughty parlor with a mob-cap on her head "cleaning for dear +life," as she expressed it. After a brief experience of the cold and +discomfort of open windows and clouds of dust, Nan gave up trying to +talk to Delia and wandered out of the parlor as disconsolately as she +had wandered into it. By and by she heard Miss Blake's door open and +close and saw the governess come forth, leave the house, and walk +rapidly down the street. She turned in at the Newton's gate and +disappeared behind the vestibule door. Nan had flown to the window to +gaze after her. + +"Whatever can she want there," wondered the girl. + +The question bothered her. She had not been able to get direct news of +Ruth's condition because she had not dared inquire again after the way +she had been treated, but in a round-about manner she had heard that +the child had a fever. + +"What fever?" she wondered. "Do people die of fever? If she dies will +that be because I left her on the ground while I ran to get that +milkman to help carry her home?" + +Miss Blake was not gone long, but it was luncheon-time when she +returned. + +"Ah, good morning!" she said, pleasantly, to Nan, who happened to be in +the hall. "I have pleasant news for you. Your little friend Ruth +Newton is better, and her mamma says she would be grateful to you and +me if we would come in once in a while and help her to amuse the poor +child. Will you go with me to-morrow? Mrs. Newton said particularly +that she hoped you would." + +A curious expression flitted across Nan's face. + +"Mrs. Newton hates me," she announced. "She doesn't want me to see +Ruth." + +Miss Blake drew off her gloves carefully. + +"I have explained certain matters to Mrs. Newton, Nan," she said, "and +she is quite satisfied that she was partly mistaken in her judgment of +you the other day. She says that she is willing to apologize for some +of her accusations, and she has written you a little note. Now, come, +and we will both go down to luncheon. I see Delia is here to tell us +it is served." + +"She takes it for granted I'll go," thought Nan, and indeed she went +quite willingly, and what was more, remained respectfully seated in her +place until Miss Blake gave her permission to depart by rising herself. + + + + +CHAPTER VI + +WHEELS WITHIN WHEELS + +"I think, Delia," said the governess, as Nan was about to go upstairs, +"if you have an ax, or something of the sort, I'll try to unbox my +bicycle." + +Nan came to an abrupt halt. Bicycle! The word went through her with +an electric thrill, and sent her blood tingling. Then she dragged +herself unwillingly away. What had she to do with the bicycle of a +woman she hated. + +"O Nan!" Miss Blake exclaimed, before the girl's lagging footsteps had +carried her halfway up the staircase, "I'm sure your strong young arms +can help us with this big elephant. Will you lend a hand?" + +Now could the governess have suspected that that was precisely what Nan +had been longing to do? But she could not have lingered unless she had +been given the excuse by Miss Blake herself. Had the request been made +to serve as that excuse? + +Nan did not stop to question. She came flinging down stairs, two steps +at a time, and Miss Blake and Delia smiled above her head as she bent +down, wrenching and tugging with her main strength at the boards and +stubborn nails, too excited to know that half the force she used would +have served her better. + +"There! that's my bicycle!" announced Miss Blake, displaying the +beautiful machine with the pride of a possessor, when the last stay had +been unscrewed, and the slender wheel stood revealed in all the glory +of its spotless nickel-plate and rubber tires. + +Nan gazed at it in speechless admiration. It had been the dream of her +life to own such a machine, but she had pleaded for one in vain. Mr. +Turner had explained to her that what money he held in trust for her +was no more than served to pay for her running expenses. + +"You know your father is not a rich man," he had said, "and lately he +has met with losses. He wishes you to be brought up under home +influences rather than at a boarding-school among strangers. He +desires you to be well educated, and naturally all this costs. Your +father is willing to make many sacrifices that you may be well provided +for, but he is not able to indulge you in a matter like this of the +bicycle. I wish I did not have to refuse you, but I think with him, +that your most important need should be supplied first, and if after +that little remains for mere indulgence, you must be satisfied. By and +by you will see that his course is best, if you do not see it already." + +But Nan had never been able to feel that it was best that she should +not have a bicycle. Now that the new governess had come and had proved +so "horrid," she felt it still less. "Half the money she gets would +buy me a first-rate safety," she had thought often and often and often, +as she groaned over her father's perversity. + +But here was one of the wonderful affairs actually in the house, and if +it did not belong to her, what of that? What was it the governess was +just saying? + +"I am quite sure you could use this wheel if we should shift the saddle +up a bit, that is, if you care to ride. As soon as the ground is clear +I will teach you if you like." + +Nan's face was radiant. "Oh, I know how," she said. "I've practiced +lots on--on--a person's I know. Only it wasn't a--a--girl's wheel. +But I can ride." + +Miss Blake was rubbing down the slender spokes with a piece of chamois +skin. + +"You are welcome to use mine, then," she said simply. + +Nan choked out a meagre "Thank you." It was not a gracious +acknowledgment, but the governess accepted it, and really felt a glow +of satisfaction in having called out even so much as an acceptance of +her favor from her arbitrary young charge. + +"Small favors thankfully received," she thought with a smile at her own +humility. + +Nan stood leaning against the wall with her hands behind her, watching +the manoeuvres of the leathern rag as it flashed up and down the nickel +spokes and around and about the hubs, guided by the dexterous hand of +the little governess. + +"Yes, I think we can pass many a jolly hour on this machine," resumed +Miss Blake, "after the ground is clear of snow, and after we are clear +of our lessons. We'll begin our studies on Monday, Nan. That will be +commencing with the new week, and we must be very conscientious about +our work before we indulge in any play." + +"There!" thought Nan, with a rush of antagonism, "I might have known +she'd make some kind of a fuss before she'd let me use it. I guess +she's sorry she promised in the first place, and wants to kind of back +out of it. Oh, well, I might have known. Now she'll pile on lessons +and things till there's no time for anything else. That's her way of +getting out of it." + +But she made no comment. She stood kicking her heel against the +surbase, silently watching the sparkling machine. Presently she turned +and stalked upstairs without a word. + +Delia gave Miss Blake an apologetic glance, but the governess +composedly rose, and, stowing her property safely away against the +closet wall, closed the door upon it and with a kind word to the woman +beside her went upstairs as though nothing had happened. + +She knew what was in Nan's mind. She could read it as distinctly as if +the sudden wrinkles on her forehead and the quick set of her obstinate +jaw had been printed text. + +"Poor child!" thought the governess, "how she hates study and--me. How +she rebels against restraint. So she thinks I am trying to take back +my word. No wonder that makes her furious." + +She went into her room and closed the door, but after a moment she came +back and opened it again. + +"Nan might feel shut out," she said to herself, and so she left it +standing invitingly ajar that in case the girl cared to come in she +would not have to knock. She smiled to herself as she did it. She +knew well enough Nan would not care to come in. "Still there might be +a chance!"--she left the door open on the chance. + +The more Nan thought of Delia's baseness the more she inwardly raged +against it. She sat in her own room with her feet over the register +and munched caramels and nursed her grievance all the afternoon. Delia +was miserable. She had tried by every means in her power to win at +least a look from the girl, but all her attempts were repelled and she +was treated with an overbearance that cut her to the quick. At last +she could stand it no longer. She left her work and went upstairs "to +have it out with Nan" and be done with it. + +She knocked repeatedly at her bedroom door, but the girl obstinately +refused to utter the word of admittance. Delia was not to be daunted, +however, by this, and at last, turning the knob, she walked boldly in +and confronted Nan squarely. + +"See here, Nan," she began without waiting, "I want to know what's the +matter with you that you treat me so? Me that has waited on you hand +and foot and tended you night and day since you was a little baby?" + +The girl did not deign to raise her eyes from her book--or else they +were so rapidly filling with tears that she did not dare to do so. + +Delia gulped. "Can't you answer a civil question?" she faltered, +trying to be firm and failing utterly. + +Nan cast her book to the floor and sprang up to face the woman with +blazing cheeks and eyes that flashed angry fire. + +"You'd better ask me what's the matter, Delia Connor!" she burst out in +a trembling voice. "As if you didn't know! Do you s'pose I'll bear +everything? It's bad enough--your being such an awful turn-coat! You +went over to her side the first thing, and every time she bosses me you +just stand there and let her do it and never say a word. You let her +order me about like everything and never stand up for me a bit. Her--a +perfect stranger! Somebody you never saw in all your life before! But +that isn't the worst of it! Do you s'pose I'm going to stand your +coming to my door and listening at the key-hole when I was rehearsing +and then going and telling on me--telling her all I was going to do to +her, I'd like to know? You just wanted to get on the right side of +her, and it was the meanest thing I ever heard of in all my life. You +came and peeked at me when I was rehearsing and then went and told her, +and I s'pose you both laughed and had a fine time over it. You thought +you were very smart, didn't you? But you got there too soon, Delia +Connor, for I had made up my mind I wouldn't do it, so there! But now +you've both been so mean, I don't care who knows what I was going to +do. I hope you told her that I don't want her here. I hope you told +her every bit of that thing I learned by heart on purpose to recite to +her. I hope you repeated every word of it. It's true and I hope she +knows it. I hope--" + +"For the land's sake, Nan, do be still," broke out Delia at last after +a dozen futile attempts to stem the tide of the girl's anger. "I +didn't listen nor peek nor anything, and you scream so loud she'll hear +every word you say. You--now be quiet and let me speak--you walked in +your sleep last night. You went into her room and said off a whole lot +of balderdash to her--enough to set her against you for the rest of her +life--if she ever finds out you really meant it." + +Nan gave Delia an imploring, frightened look. + +"Delia," she gasped, breathlessly, "do you--do you think she heard?" + +Delia shook her head. + +"Couldn't say for the life of me," she replied. "Her door may have +been open when I came up; I didn't notice." + +Nan looked the picture of dismay. "Wait a minute!--I'll go see!" she +whispered earnestly, and tip-toed noiselessly into the hall. A second +later she returned, radiant with reassurance. + +"Her door is tight shut, and she's making so much noise inside her room +she couldn't possibly have heard. Sounds as if she was dragging trunks +around or something." + +"Perhaps she's packing to go 'way," suggested Delia, with a grain of +malice. + +Nan fairly jumped with--well, if it wasn't joy it was something equally +as moving in its way. "Oh, no, no!" she cried, in a sudden fever of +excitement. "I don't want her to leave--like that. Just think how +awful it would be to have her leave--like that! Can't you go to her +and say I'm--you're good friends with her. Delia, won't you please go +and tell her I didn't really mean to say off that speech at her. I +learned it before she came, and I meant to recite it, but when I found +that she was different--so little and kind of--different, I thought it +would be mean to do it, and I gave it up. Do go and tell her, Delia, +please, and oh, won't you hurry?" + +"Now see here, Nan," interposed the woman. "Our best plan is to wait +and see what she is going to do. If she hasn't heard, it's all right, +and telling her would only put the fat in the fire. On the other hand, +if she has heard and is packing up to go 'way, why, it wouldn't do much +good, I'm afraid, to try to stop her. With all being such a lady and +so gentle in her ways, she's got a mind of her own--I can see that--and +you won't be like to get her to change it. But she'll tell you +good-bye before she leaves, she's too much of a lady not to, no matter +how she feels, and then you can say your say, and I promise you +faithful I'll back you up." + +Nan saw the wisdom of Delia's counsel, and tried to content herself to +wait. But the suspense of every minute was awful, and she felt herself +growing frenzied under the strain. After a time the commotion in the +next room ceased, and all was quiet as the grave. "She's getting on +her hat now," gasped Nan. "She'll go away and think I'm a heathen and +all sorts of horrid things. And she hasn't got any friends or folks of +her own, and no house to go to but this. And I s'pose she's awfully +poor, because she wouldn't be a governess if she wasn't, and oh, dear! +I don't want to have any one be a beggar, and turned out of the only +roof they've got over their heads on my account. That's what makes me +feel so bad, Delia. That's the only thing. If she will go on her own +account I'll--I'll be glad, but--oh, she mustn't go this way!" + +Delia turned away her face to hide a smile. + +"There's nothing to do but wait," she insisted. "If I go in there and +tell her, and she hasn't heard, why it would only give you away; don't +you see?" + +Nan let herself down in her rocking-chair with a dismal drop. "O +dear!" she cried, "I never saw anything like it! The way things go +wrong in this house! It's just perfectly horrid! I wish I was with my +father, I do so! I guess it's nicer in India than it is here, anyway; +and I'm sick and tired of living cooped up in this old stuffy place. +So there!" + +Delia dusted some imaginary dust off the table with the corner of her +apron, and went down stairs to finish up her work. + +In the street below the huckster was yelling "Chestnuts! Fresh-roasted +chestnuts!" The little charcoal oven in his push-cart sent out a +shrill, continuous whistle, and Nan had an impulse to throw something +at him. What business had he to come here and make such a racket that +she couldn't hear what was going on in the next room. He passed slowly +down the street, his call and the whistle of his oven growing fainter +and fainter, and finally fading quite away as he disappeared in the +distance. Nan pricked up her ears. Surely the sounds she heard were +those of moving feet in the next room. Back and forth they went, now +nearer, that was to the closet, now further away again, that must be to +the bureau. What could the governess be doing? The lid of her trunk +was dropped, and Nan could distinctly hear the click of the catches as +they fell in place. There was no further doubt about it! Miss Blake +was going. A moment later, and before Nan could collect her wits, the +door of the next room was briskly opened and closed, and the governess, +hatted and cloaked, sped quickly from the house. + +Nan flew to the balusters with a hasty cry upon her lips, but was just +in time to see the door swing heavily to; and that was all. She flung +herself down stairs two steps at a time. + +"There now, Delia Connor," she cried, bursting into the kitchen with +such vehemence that the very tins rattled on their shelves. "There, +now! What did I tell you? She's gone--Miss Blake's gone. Trunks +packed--! Everything's packed! She'll send men to get them. She's +gone clean off. I told you what it would be, and you wouldn't go and +speak to her. And now my father will be disgraced, and Mr. Turner will +blame me, and--it's all your fault, and I'll tell my father; so there!" + +Delia's face paled suddenly. She set her lips together tight. + +"It's well you have some one to lay the blame on, child!" she said +shortly, and went upstairs without another word. Nan did not care to +follow her into the governess' room, but stood outside and waited to +hear her verdict when she should have examined the premises. + +"Well?" asked the girl, eagerly, as soon as she came out. + +"Her trunk's shut and locked, that's certain!" + +"Then she's gone for good!" + +"She's gone. There ain't a doubt about that!" + +"You said she would surely say good-bye, Delia Connor, you know you +did. You said no matter how she felt, she was such a lady she'd be +certain to say good-bye!" + +"Well, and I really thought so. I believe now she'd have said +good-bye, if--" + +"If I hadn't been such a--brat? Say it right out, Delia! You mean it +and you might as well say what you think," broke in the girl bitterly. + +Delia turned on her heel and stalked grimly down stairs. A second +later she heard a rush of flying feet behind her, and the next moment +two arms were locked about her neck. + +"Poor old Delia," cried Nan, in one of her sudden bursts of remorse. +"I'm the horridest girl that ever lived! I know it as well as you do, +and if you weren't the patientest thing in the world you wouldn't stand +it for a minute. But don't you go away from me too, Delia! Please +don't! Honest Injun, I'll try to behave! Cross my heart I will. And +I tell you this much, I feel just awfully about Miss Blake. I +shouldn't wonder a bit but it would snow tonight, and she hasn't a +place to go and no money, and--O dear! I feel like a person that ought +to be in jail!" + +Delia extricated herself gently from the clinging arms. "What makes +you think Miss Blake's as poverty-stricken as that?" she asked. + +"Oh, I don't know," responded the girl. "But I just feel she is. And +she is so little too. She looked so glad to get into this house that I +guess she never had much of a place to stay before." + +"She don't dress like a person that's next-door to a beggar," mused +Delia. + +"No, she doesn't. She has really pretty things, hasn't she? But I +guess they're made over and cast-off, or something. Maybe the lady she +lived with last gave them to her?" speculated Nan. + +"Maybe she did," said Delia. + +The two made their way slowly down to the kitchen. It was beginning to +grow dark and the dinner must be prepared. + +"I never in all my life saw such little hands and feet," the girl +pursued. "And she's dreadfully particular about them. There's never a +speck on her fingers that she doesn't run right up and scrub them, and +she wears the cunningest slippers I ever saw." + +"I guess she comes of nice folks," said Delia, as she began to peel the +potatoes. + +"Wonder why she doesn't stay with them then?" put in Nan. + +"Perhaps they're dead." + +Nan pondered. Her own motherless life had given her a very tender +sympathy for those whose "folks" were dead. For the first time she +felt sorry for Miss Blake. She was uneasy and distressed. It made her +shift about uncomfortably in her chair. + +"Goodness me!" she ejaculated impatiently at last, and then one of her +wild impulses took possession of her and she ran frantically up into +her own room and flung on her coat and hat. + +"The whole thing's as plain as preaching. Why didn't I think of it +before?" she said to herself, with a shake of impatience. "Mr. Turner +told Miss Blake if she was worried or anything to go to him. She +hasn't any money, and she's left here, so of course that's where she +is. I'll go and bring her back." + +The front door opened and shut with a bang, and Nan was out in the +street alone. As she scudded down the pavement the electric lights +suddenly gleamed out pale and vivid from their lofty globes, and sent +wavering shadows flashing across her path. + +"It's pretty late and it'll be dark as a pocket in a little while," +thought she; but that did not detain her, and she raced on, putting +block after block between her and home in her ardor to make reparation +and to lighten her heart of its weight of compunction. + + + + +CHAPTER VII + +OPEN CONFESSION + +Nan knew the way to Mr. Turner's house perfectly, though she had not +been able to give Mrs. Newton the street and number. She was observing +and clear-headed, and could have been trusted to find her way about the +entire city alone, but her father had often cautioned Delia and the +girl herself against putting her power to the test, and so it happened +that until now she had never been any considerable distance away from +home after twilight without a companion. The way was perfectly +familiar to her--but it had never seemed so interminably long. She +could have taken a car, but in her haste to get off she had forgotten +her pocketbook. She saw the "trolleys" fly past her in quick +succession, and it seemed to her they whizzed jeeringly at her as they +sped. She was by nature so fearless that even if the street had not +been thronged she would not have been afraid. As it was she was only +alarmed lest she would get to Mr. Turner's and find Miss Blake gone. + +She hurried on breathlessly, fairly skipping with impatience and +wondering what explanation she could give the lawyer in case the +governess had not told him the real reason of her departure. Somehow +it flashed into Nan's mind that Miss Blake would not expose her. She +was busied with this reflection as she turned off the broad, +well-lighted thoroughfare into the dimmer side-street upon which Mr. +Turner lived, and she ran up the steps of his house with the question +still unsettled. It was not a moment before the door was opened to her +and she was admitted to the warm, luxuriously furnished drawing-room. +It was Nan's ideal of a house: "all full of curtains and soft carpets +and beautiful things." She seated herself before the burning log-fire +with a sensation of deep well-being--only it was a little over-shadowed +by her worry about the governess. + +"Well, my little lady, and what brings you here at this time of day?" +was Mr. Turner's greeting, as he strode across the room to meet her. + +"O Mr. Turner!" began Nan, bluntly, "I came to see you about Miss +Blake. I want to know--I wonder if you--" + +"Indeed! And how is that charming lady? You must tell her I had hoped +to see her before this, but I have been unusually busy, and every +moment has been taken up. Now tell me, isn't it as I said? Hasn't she +completely won your heart? Aha! I see she has! I see she has!" + +Nan flushed and stammered, and did not reply. Inwardly, she was in a +turmoil. Either Miss Blake had not come here at all or the lawyer was +trying to baffle her. And if Miss Blake had not come here, then where +was she? A sort of dumb terror took hold of the girl and shook her +from head to foot. + +"You see I was right," pursued the lawyer, cheerfully. "I knew you +would surrender to her the first thing. Every one does. I think I +never knew any one who was more universally loved. Now, how can I help +you, my dear? Give you some extra pin-money to buy Miss Blake a +Christmas present, eh? Is that it?" + +Nan caught at the suggestion eagerly as being a way out of her +difficulty, and nodded a gulping assent. + +"Well, you needn't have traveled all this distance for such a simple +matter, my dear," he assured her genially. "And after dark, too! A +note would have served, you know; a note would have served. But I'm +glad you like her so well, and you shall have the money at once. Your +father would be delighted I am sure." + +It was only after Nan had been gone some time that Mr. Turner +remembered with a start that she was alone and that it was night. It +was too late then to overtake her, so he had to resign himself with the +thought that the girl was admirably self-reliant, and that her way lay +almost entirely along well-lit and busy avenues. + +The thought of danger did not occupy Nan for a moment. Her only fear +now was for the governess. If she wasn't at Mr. Turner's, then where +was she? She asked herself this question over and over again. The +girl blushed as she thought of the untruth she had been guilty of in +implying that the lawyer's suggestion had been her motive in coming to +him. She sharpened her pace, as if to outstrip the memory of her +misdeed, but it, with her other worry, seemed to pursue her, and +presently her imagination so quickened at the thought that she actually +fancied she heard some one behind keeping step with her. She broke +into a brisk run. Clap! clap! came the sound of hastening feet behind +her. With a sort of tortured courage she slackened her pace. Whatever +was following her also took a slower gait. She cast a furtive look +over her shoulder and gave a horrified gasp as her eyes squarely +encountered two other eyes, which were fixed upon her own in an +insulting leer from beneath the rim of a rakish felt hat which was worn +tilted on the side of a very unprepossessing head. The eyes, bad as +they were, proved the best feature in a thoroughly vicious face, and +for the first time in her life Nan felt frightened--chokingly +frightened. She would have rushed on, but a stealthy hand held her +back. + +"Don't try to run away from me, little lady!" said an unsteady voice in +her ear in a tone that was intended to seem engaging. "Don't try to +run away from me, if you please. I wouldn't hurt you for the world, +no, indeed." + +Nan shook herself free from the disgusting touch and hurried on without +a word. Her hateful shadow kept abreast with her. + +"You ain't afraid of me, are you?" he asked reproachfully. + +Nan made no response. Her feet seemed to cling to the pavement. Every +time she lifted one it was with an effort. + +"Oh, come now," whined the voice in her ear, "don't go on like this. I +ain't going to hurt you. I'm only a poor man who would be grateful for +a penny or two. By the way, where's your pocket-book?" + +Nan leaped suddenly aside, and as she did so she missed her footing, +and a cry of pain burst from her lips. A sharp pang shot from her +ankle to her knee, and when she tried to take another step she found +the darting agony returned. But stop she could not. Her face grew +gray and lined with misery as she dragged forward, saving her injured +ankle as much as she could, but always having to torture it intolerably +with every onward limp. Her persecutor caught up with her promptly, +and she cast beseeching looks for deliverance on every side, which the +hurrying, preoccupied crowd was too intent on its own affairs to see. +If only she could see a policeman! She knew what she would do. She +would make believe she was going past him and then suddenly veer about +and say, "Officer, this man is annoying me!" and before he had time to +realize what she had done the rowdy would be arrested. But no +policeman was in sight, and her fine scheme could not be carried out. +Suddenly in the midst of her agony of mind and body her heart gave a +wild bound of unspeakable relief. + +"Miss Blake! Miss Blake!" she almost shrieked. + +"Nan!" + +The little governess was beside her in a flash, her own face almost as +white and seamed as the girl's. + +[Illustration: The little governess was beside her.] + +"O Miss Blake! this man--make him go away; make some one send him away. +He's annoying me--and my foot!" + +The governess grew if possible a shade paler. "What man?" she demanded +sharply, "Where?" + +Nan could not speak. She indicated with a mute gesture. Miss Blake +looked behind her, but if there had actually been such a man as the +girl described he must certainly have taken to his heels. They were +standing alone in the midst of the hurrying crowd. + +"O Nan!" cried the governess, not stopping to argue the question, +"where have you been? Delia and I have been frantic with worry. She +is out now hunting for you. She went one way and I another." + +Nan could not reply. The torture in her ankle grew fiercer with every +movement. She shook her head silently and limped on. + +"You are hurt! You are in pain!" cried Miss Blake, now for the first +time really realizing her condition. + +Nan nodded dumbly. + +"Take my arm; no, lean on my shoulder! There, that's better! Bear +down as hard as you can and use me as your crutch! I'm strong. I +won't give out." + +And a right good support she proved. Happily they were but a stone's +throw from home, and it was not long before Nan was comfortably settled +on the library lounge, luxuriously surrounded by all sorts of downy +cushions and having her injured ankle bound in soothing cloths by the +tenderest of hands. Delia, full of sympathy and the desire to help, +was bustling about nervously, tripping over bandages and upsetting +bottles of liniment, but meaning so well all the while that one could +not discourage her. + +"It is only a strain. You have turned your ankle badly and the muscles +have been wrenched, but I don't think it is an actual sprain," said +Miss Blake, consolingly. "However, if the pain is still bad to-morrow, +we'll have a doctor in to look at it. Do you still have Dr. Milbank, +Delia?" + +Nan sat bolt upright with surprise. + +"How funny!" she cried. "However in the world did you know Dr. Milbank +was our doctor? Why, we've had him for years and years. Ever since I +was born and before, too. But how could you know?" + +Delia hurried out of the room muttering something about the dinner, and +Miss Blake bent her head over the bandage she was rolling. + +"He lives so near," she replied haltingly. + +"I've seen his sign often as I passed and--and--perhaps that is why I +thought he might be your physician. He's so convenient--within call. +It is hard to tell what makes one jump at conclusions sometimes." + +Nan sank back among her cushions not half satisfied. "Dr. Pardee lives +near, too. Just as near as Dr. Milbank does," she persisted. + +The governess made no response, and just then Delia came staggering in +under the weight of a huge brass tray which she bore in her arms. + +Miss Blake jumped to her feet. "We're going to have a dinner-party up +here to-night, Nan," she said. "Won't it be fun?" and she set to work +unfolding a strange foreign-looking stand that Nan had never seen +before and upon which Delia carefully placed the tray. + +"Why, what a dandy little table it makes!" exclaimed Nan, admiringly. +"Where did it come from?" + +"I brought it from London, but it was made in India," explained Miss +Blake. + +Nan's eyes softened. "Where papa is!" she murmured softly to herself. +"You have lots of nice things," she added, after a moment. "These +pillows are downright daisies. I s'pose they belong to you." + +The governess served her with soup. "They are yours whenever you care +to use them," she returned in her quiet way. + +"It's jolly having dinner up here," said Nan, not quite knowing how to +respond to such a generous offer. + +"Yes, isn't it?" assented the governess. + +"Mrs. Newton don't use her basement for a dining-room, and neither does +Mr. Turner. I wish we didn't. I think it would be perfectly fine if +we could have ours up here, too." + +"Why couldn't you?" + +The girl leaned forward with a look of real interest in her face. + +"Do you think we might?" she asked eagerly. + +"I don't see why not. The books might be shifted to the other room. +This might be re--well, re-arranged, and I'm sure it would make a +charming dining-room." + +"But that ugly old glass extension back there!" protested Nan in +disgust. "Who wants to look at a lot of old trunks and broken-up +things when one is eating? If we could only pull it down." + +Miss Blake considered a moment. + +"Why not take all the old trunks and broken-up things out entirely and +make a conservatory of it. It faces the south. Plants would grow +beautifully there." + +Nan clapped her hands. "Why, that's perfectly splendiferous," she +cried. "I never should have thought of it. I say, Miss Blake, let's +do it right away, will you? I love flowers." + +"Would you take care of them?" demanded the governess with a thoughtful +look. + +"Uh-huh!" nodded Nan, heartily. "I guess I would!" + +"Very well, then," returned Miss Blake encouragingly, "I'll think about +it. Perhaps Delia wouldn't consent. You know there is no dumb-waiter +in the house, and if she had to carry up all the dishes at every meal, +it would more than double her work." + +Nan's face fell. "O dear!" she complained. "What a horrid old house! +Can't do a single thing with it! It would have been such fun to change +everything about!" + +Miss Blake laughed. "Oh, if that was all your reason for wanting the +improvements," she retorted. "I thought you wanted to gratify your +sense of the beautiful." + +"Well, I do," declared Nan. + +"Then we'll see what can be done," and the governess set down her glass +of water with a very knowing smile. + +After dinner was eaten and Delia had carried away the tray and Miss +Blake removed the wonderful folding stand, the governess looked up +suddenly and said with unusual gravity: + +"Nan, while I am here I hope you will never run out after dark alone +again. It is dangerous. Do you understand me, my dear?" + +The girl's eyes dropped. Yes, she understood perfectly. When the +governess spoke in that low, decided voice it would have been hard to +mistake her meaning. + +"I had to go to-night," Nan answered, in a suddenly sullen voice. + +"If you had waited a few moments I could have, and most willingly would +have, gone with you. Never hesitate to ask me. I am always at your +service. That is what I am here for." + +Nan hesitated. "I--I thought you had gone away--for good," she +stammered, lamely. + +Miss Blake flushed. "What made you think I had gone away for good?" +she asked, slowly repeating the girl's words. + +Nan shook her head and gulped. + +"I was in my room," continued the governess, after a pause, "and I +heard--" + +Nan put out both hands. "I know it! I know it!" she gasped. "But I +didn't mean what I said--I didn't, honestly and truly. Before you came +I learned it off, and I meant to say it, but that was before I saw you. +I feel different now, and I hope--I hope--" + +Miss Blake's hand was laid quietly on hers. "Wait a moment, Nan. +Don't go on till you know what I was going to say. You seem to be +trying to explain something that perhaps you might regret later. You +think I overheard something you would rather I did not know? What I +was going to say is this: I was in my room this afternoon and I heard a +man crying 'Chestnuts!' It carried me back to the time when I was a +little girl and used to roast them in this very--" she hesitated, then +added slowly, "town. So I went out to buy some, that we might have a +little jollification together with nuts and apples and perhaps a cookie +or two, if Delia would give them to us. That is why I went out." + +Nan twisted her fingers and looked down. "And I went out because you +did," she faltered. "I thought you had gone away, and I went to Mr. +Turner's to bring you back--if you would come. Say, now, didn't you +hear what I said to Delia? I was awfully mad, and I guess I spoke out +loud enough so folks on the next block could have heard. Honest now, +didn't you?" + +Miss Blake did not answer at once, and Nan could see that a struggle of +some sort was going on in her mind. When she raised her face her eyes +were very grave. + +"Yes, Nan, I did hear!" she confessed, honestly. + +The girl's cheeks blazed with sudden shame. + +"And yet you weren't going to leave?" she said. "You were only going +to do a kindness to me?" + +Miss Blake shook her head. + +"Dear Nan," she answered, smiling wistfully, "a good soldier never runs +away for a mere wound. He stays on the field until he has won his +battle or--until--he is mortally hurt. I do not think you will ever +wish to cut me as deeply as that, and so--and so--I will stay +until--the general orders me off the field. The day I hear that your +father is to come back, that day I will resign my position in this +house. Until then, however, you must reconcile yourself to my presence +here, and I think we should both be much happier if you would try to do +so at once, my dear." + + + + +CHAPTER VIII + +NAN'S HEROINE + +The strain Nan had given her ankle proved more serious than either she +or Miss Blake had expected. It threatened to keep her chained to the +sofa for days to come, and the girl's only comfort lay in the thought +that now, of course, the governess would not force the question of +study, and after she was up and about again she might be able to +dispose of it altogether, and save herself any more worry on that score. + +But Monday came, and, true to her word, Miss Blake appeared in the +library after breakfast with an armful of school-books, to which she +kept Nan fastened until luncheon time. It was perfectly clear that +there was no escape. Miss Blake was armed with authority, and the girl +knew herself to be under control. She fretted against it so +persistently that if the governess had not had an enduring patience she +must have despaired over and over again under the strain of Nan's +sullen tempers, fierce outbreaks, and lazy moods. There were moments +when the girl seemed to be fairly tractable, but there was no knowing +when the whim would seize her to fall back into her old ways, so that, +at the best of times, Miss Blake did not dare relax her control. Then +Nan would kick her heels sulkily, and comfort herself with the thought +that when her father came home all this would be put an end to. Miss +Blake would go. Hadn't she said so herself? And that would finish up +this studying business quick enough. She could cajole her father +easily into letting her stay away from school, and then--here she would +be, as happy as you please, with only those two, Delia and her dear +daddy, to look after her, and no one at all would say no to anything +she might choose to do. It was a blissful prospect. In the meantime +there were lessons, and--Miss Blake. + +But after a few days Nan found that, somehow, the lessons were not so +hard after all, and she never would have believed that they could be so +interesting. While as for Miss Blake--Well, a woman who sits reading +"Treasure Island" and such books to one for hours together can't be +regarded entirely in the light of a nuisance. + +"I never knew geography was so nice before," Nan admitted one day after +lessons were over. "I used to hate it, but now, why it's downright +jolly! I never saw such beautiful pictures! Where in the world did +you ever get so many?" + +"I took them myself!" + +Nan's eyes widened. "Why, have you been to all these places?" she +asked, not a little awe-struck. + +Miss Blake confessed she had. + +"And you took all these photographs your own self?" persisted the girl. + +The governess laughed. "I'm like George Washington, Nan," she said. +"I cannot tell a lie! I did them with my little--Kodak!" + +Nan fairly gulped. She would have said "Jiminy!" but she knew Miss +Blake disapproved of "Jiminy!" and somehow, she was willing to humor +her just now. + +"Only," went on the governess, "it isn't a little Kodak at all. It is +a very fine camera indeed. Some day, if you like, I will show it to +you, and then, perhaps you will be interested enough to care to learn +how to take some photographs yourself." + +Nan bounced up and down on the sofa with delight. "Oh, won't I, +though!" she exclaimed feverishly. "Just won't I!" + +"But mind you, my dear," warned Miss Blake. "If you once undertake it, +I want you to persist. It is not to be any +'You-press-the-button-and-we-do-the-rest' affair. I want you to learn +to finish up your work yourself. Do you think you will care to take so +much trouble?" + +Nan nodded energetically. + +"Very well, then. So it stands. If you are willing to learn I'll +gladly teach." + +"Who taught you?" asked the girl curiously. + +Miss Blake shook her head. "Just a man whom I paid for his trouble," +she returned simply. "I wanted to learn, and so I went into a gallery +and got some experience, and then came away and experimented on my own +account. It has taken me years, and I am still working hard at it, for +I believe in never being satisfied with anything less than the best one +can do." + +Nan blinked. She herself believed in being satisfied with whatever +came easiest, unless it was in the way of some sport, where she liked +to excel. + +"How jolly it must be to travel about--all over the world," said she, +musingly. "When I'm grown up I guess I'll be a governess, or a +companion, or something, just as you are, and get a place with some +awfully nice people who will take me everywhere. Was it nice where you +were before you came here? Were there any girls? Why did you leave?" + +Miss Blake looked troubled, but Nan was not used to noticing other +people's moods, and did not even stop to hear the replies to her own +questions. "If you've been all over the world, you'll know where my +father is, and can tell me about it. Oh, do, do! Show me some +pictures of India, won't you please? Just think, I haven't seen my +father for two years, and he won't be home until next autumn--almost a +year from now. You ought to see him! He is the best man in the +world--only I guess he is lonely, because my mother died when I was a +baby, and he hasn't any one to keep house for him but Delia and me. +Mr. Turner says he has lost a lot of money lately, too. I guess that's +why he went to India. If I had been older he would have taken me. But +he had to leave me here with Delia. Delia has been in our family, for, +oh, ever so many years. She first came to live here when my mother was +a young girl. She says it was the jolliest house you ever saw. My +grandfather and grandmother were alive then, and mamma had a young +friend, who was an orphan, who lived with them. They loved her just as +if she had been their own child, and she and my mother were so fond of +each other that--well, Delia says it was beautiful to see them +together. And such times! There were parties and all sorts of things +all the time till, Delia says, it was a caution. My grandfather wasn't +very well off, and lots and lots of times my mother wouldn't have been +able to go to the parties she was invited to, if it hadn't been for +that friend of hers, who used to give her the most beautiful +things--dresses, and gloves, and all she needed. She had loads of +money, and every time she got anything for herself she got its mate for +my mother. Don't you think that was pretty generous?" + +Miss Blake bit her lip. "One can't judge, Nan," she said. "If your +mother shared her home with this girl and she had money and your mother +had not, I think it was only right that they should share the money +too. No, I do not think it was generous." + +Nan tossed her head. "Well, I think it was and so does Delia," she +retorted hotly. + +"It is easy enough to give when one has plenty," pursued the governess, +almost sternly. "But when one has little and one gives that--well, +then it is hard and then perhaps one may be what the world calls +generous, though I should call it merely grateful." + +Nan did not understand very clearly. She thought Miss Blake meant to +disparage her mother's friend, the woman she had been brought up to +think was one of the noblest beings on earth. She felt angry and hurt +and almost regretted that she had confided the story to her since she +made so little of her heroine's conduct. + +"I don't care; I think she was perfectly fine and so does Delia. My +mother just loved her and I guess she knew whether she was generous or +not. When she went away my mother was wild. She cried her eyes out. +But she married my father soon after that, and then--well, my +grandmother died and then my grandfather, and I was born and my mother +died and--O dear me! it was dreadful. Delia says many and many a time +she has gone down on her knees and just prayed that that girl would +come back, but she has never come and she won't now, because it is +years and years ago and maybe she's dead herself by this time. Do you +think Delia would have prayed for Miss Severance to come back if she +hadn't been the best and most generous girl in the world?" + +Miss Blake smiled faintly. "That settles it, Nan!" she declared. "If +Delia wanted her back she must at least have tried to be good. And +even trying is something, isn't it? And now, how do you think luncheon +would taste?" + +Nan was more than ever inclined to be sulky. Her loyalty was touched. +Not alone did Miss Blake fail to appreciate her heroine, but she showed +quite plainly that she did not want to hear about her. "All the time I +was talking she fidgeted around and looked too unhappy for anything. I +guess she needn't think she's the only one in the world that can make +people love her. I don't think it's very nice to be jealous of a +person you never saw. Pooh! I like what she said about trying to be +good. I guess Delia knows," said Nan. + +They ate their luncheon together in the library, and after they had +finished Miss Blake excused herself and went upstairs to prepare to go +out. + +"After being in the house all the morning one needs a change," she +said, "and it would be a sin to spend all of this glorious day indoors." + +Nan sighed. How she longed to get away herself. But of course that +was impossible, with this old troublesome ankle bothering her. If she +could not step across the room, how could she hope to get into the +street? O dear! When would it be well? + +Miss Blake was tripping about upstairs and Nan could hear her singing +as she went. Delia was up there, too. When Delia walked the +chandelier shook. + +"She follows Miss Blake about so, it's perfectly disgusting," thought +the girl resentfully. "Now, I wonder what she wants in my room. I +don't thank either of them for going poking about my things when I'm +not there, so now! Well, I'm glad she's coming down, at any rate." + +The governess appeared in the library a moment later, but Nan could +scarcely see her face, she was so overladen with wraps and rugs. She +turned the whole assortment into a chair, and before the girl could ask +a question, she found herself being bundled up and made ready for the +street. + +"What are you doing?" she gasped out at length. "You know I can't +walk." + +"Nobody asked you, sir!" quoted the governess, gayly. + +"Then what are you putting on my things for?" + +"Ready, Delia?" sang out Miss Blake, cheerfully. + +Nan heard the front door open. Then heavy steps came clumping along +the hall, and in another moment she was being borne down the outer +steps and set comfortably in a carriage by the good old Irish coachman, +Mike, from the livery stable round the corner. + +"Are you comfortable?" asked Miss Blake, with her foot on the step. +"Have you everything you need?" + +Nan nodded, and the governess, taking her place beside her, motioned to +Michael, who climbed to his seat on the box, and off they drove. + +"There is Delia at the window! Let's wave to her!" cried Miss Blake, +with one of her happy girl-hearted laughs. + +It seemed to Nan that she had never seen the Park look as beautiful as +it did to-day. To be sure, most of the trees were bare, but the naked +branches stood out delicate and clear against the blue of the +violet-clouded sky and by the lake-shore the pollard willows were gray +and misty, and a few russet maple trees still held their leaves against +the sweeping wind. They saw numberless wheels spinning along the +smooth paths, and though the governess said nothing, Nan knew she had +given up this chance of a ride for her sake. + +Impulsively she put out her hand and laid it on Miss Blake's. + +"If it weren't for me you'd be on your wheel now, wouldn't you?" she +asked. + +"Yes," came the answer, prompt as an echo. "But as it is I'm not on my +wheel, and it so happens that I'm doing something that gives me much +more pleasure." + +"If I had a bike it would make me simply furious to have to give up a +ride such a day as this," said Nan. + +"Then isn't it rather fortunate you haven't one?" asked Miss Blake, +saucily. "But seriously, Nan, why haven't you one?" + +Nan set her jaw. "My father can't afford it," she said proudly. + +The governess turned her head to look at a faraway hill, and there was +an embarrassing little pause. When she faced about again Nan could see +that her chin was quivering, and in a spirit of tender thoughtfulness +quite new to her, she hastened to change the subject since Miss Blake +felt so badly about having asked the question. + +"This is the lake where we skate in winter," she said. "That is, most +of the girls come here. I go to the Steamer. I like it better." + +The governess looked at it and asked, absently, "Why?" + +"Oh, because its jollier there. Most of the girls I know--I don't +know--that is, they don't know me; they don't like me much, and I'd +rather not go where they are. John Gardiner and some other boys and I +go to the Steamer and have regular contests, and it's the best sport in +the world." + +But Miss Blake was not listening. She was thinking of other things, +and only came back to a sense of what was going on about her when Nan +gave a great sigh to indicate that she was tired of waiting to be +entertained. The governess roused herself with a smile and an apology +and began at once to chat briskly again. + +"Whenever you want Michael to turn you have only to say so," she said. +"What do you think of going down-town and buying some jelly or +something for little Ruth Newton. We could stop there on our way home, +and you could send it up with your love." + +Nan nodded heartily. It always pleased her to give. She enjoyed, too, +the thought of getting a glimpse of the shop-windows, which were +already beginning to take on a look of holiday gorgeousness. So +down-town they went, and Miss Blake not alone bought the jelly, but so +many other things as well, that presently Nan began to have a feeling +that for such a poor woman the governess was inclined to be extravagant. + +She told Delia so when they were alone together that evening, Miss +Blake having gone upstairs to write some letters. + +"Oh, I guess you needn't worry," the woman said. + +"But you don't know how many things she bought," persisted Nan. "I'm +sure she can't afford it. Just think, a woman that works for her +living the way she has to! But do you know, Delia, I believe there's +something mysterious about her, anyway. She seems to see right into +your mind--what you're thinking about; and every once in a while she +lets out a hint that the next minute she looks as if she wished she +hadn't said. I've noticed it lots and lots of times, and I'm sure +she's trying to hide something. What do you s'pose it is? What fun it +would be if she were a princess in disguise." + +"Well, she ain't," Delia almost snapped. "She's just a good little +woman that's trying to do her duty as far as I can make out, and if she +spends money you must remember she has only herself to support." + + + + +CHAPTER IX + +HAVING HER OWN WAY + +"I know just the kind I want, and I won't wear any other," said Nan, +irritably. + +Miss Blake made no reply, and the girl sauntered off to another part of +the store, and pretended to be examining a case of trimmed bonnets, +which she could not see because her eyes were half-blind with +rebellious tears. What right had any one to tell her what sort of a +hat she ought to get! If her father was paying for it, she guessed it +was nobody else's business to say anything. + +Miss Blake held in her hand a handsome, wide-brimmed felt hat, trimmed +simply with fine ribbon and a generous bunch of quills. + +"It's very girlish and suitable, ma'am!" the saleswoman said, as she +turned away to get another model. + +After a moment Nan came hurrying back to the governess' side. + +"Horrid old thing!" she said in a low voice, flinging her hand out with +a gesture of disgust toward the despised hat. "It's stiff as a poker. +Do you suppose I want to have just bunched-up bows with some spikes +stuck in the middle to trim my hat! And all one color, too! I guess +not!" + +The governess bit her lip. "Perhaps we may be able to find something +more to your fancy," she said. "But plumes are expensive and +perishable, and if you have too many colors your hat will look vulgar." + +"I hate this place anyhow," went on Nan, disdainfully. "Bigelow's! +Who ever thought of going to Bigelow's?" + +"Your mother did," said Miss Blake, quickly. "That is, Delia says she +did. And I myself know it to be one of the oldest and best firms in +the city. One can always be sure that one is getting good quality for +one's money here." + +"I never was in the place before," blurted out Nan, "and I despise +their hats--every one of them. If you won't let me go to Sternberg's, +where they have things I like, I won't get anything at all, so there!" + +She suddenly let her voice fall, for the sales-woman was back again +with a fresh assortment of shapes to select from. + +Miss Blake placed the hat she held gently upon a table and began to +examine the others carefully, Nan standing by in sullen silence. + +"This is a pretty one--this with the tips, don't you think so?" the +governess asked, setting it on her hand and letting it revolve slowly +while she regarded it critically with her head on one side. + +Nan gave a grunt of dissatisfaction. What she wanted was a flaring, +turned-up brim, with a dash of red velvet underneath and a +bird-of-paradise on top, caught in a mesh of red and yellow ribbons. +She had seen something on this order in Sternberg's window, and it had +struck her fancy at once. + +The governess hesitated, and then put down the hat she held. + +"Very well. We will go to Sternberg's," she said, quietly, to Nan, in +an undertone which the saleswoman could not distinguish. The girl +started briskly for the door. Miss Blake remained behind a moment, and +then followed after. + +Now that she was to have her own way Nan was restored to good humor, +and kept up a stream of chatter until they reached Sternberg's. + +"There! Isn't that a beauty?" she demanded at last, indicating the hat +in the window. + +Miss Blake, with difficulty, concealed a shudder. + +"It seems to me rather showy. But tastes differ, you know. I can't +say it suits me exactly. Still, if you are pleased--you are the one to +wear it, not I." + +The hat was bought and Nan was radiant. She insisted on donning it at +once, and Miss Blake tried not to let her discover how ashamed she was +to be seen in the street with such a monstrous piece of millinery. +Underneath her tower of gorgeousness Nan strutted like a turkey-cock. + +"I told Delia before we came away that we might not be home before +dusk, so suppose we take luncheon down-town, and then, if you like, we +will go to see Callmann. I haven't been to a sleight-of-hand +performance since I was a little girl, and I always had a liking for +that sort of thing." + +"Oh, do! Let's! Can we?" cried Nan, in a burst of grateful excitement. + +It was nippingly cold outside, and the warm restaurant proved a +delightful contrast. It was jolly to sit in the midst of all this +pleasant bustle and be served with delicate, unfamiliar dishes by +waiters who stood behind the chair and deferentially called one "Miss." + +Miss Blake left Nan to order whatever she pleased, and they dawdled +over their meal luxuriously, the color in the girl's cheeks deepening +with the warmth and excitement until it almost matched the velvet in +her imposing hat. Every now and then she glanced furtively at her +reflection in the mirror, and the vision of that bird-of-paradise +hovering over those huge butterfly bows thrilled her with a great sense +of importance and self-satisfaction. More than once she saw that her +hat was being noticed and commented on by the other guests, and she +tried her best to seem not aware--to look modestly unconscious. But +Miss Blake, when she caught some eye fixed quizzically upon their +table, blushed to the roots of her hair, and felt as though it would be +impossible to bear the ordeal for a moment longer. Still, she did not +hurry Nan, and no one knew, the girl least of all, what agonies of +mortification she was enduring. + +A deep-toned clock struck one full peal. + +"That's half-past one," said Miss Blake, looking up and comparing her +watch. + +"When does the entertainment begin?" asked Nan. + +"At two, I think, or quarter after. If we ride up we have still a few +minutes to spare, but if we walk it would be wise to start at once." + +"O let's walk," begged Nan. "It's such fun; there's so much going on. +And now my foot is well, I just want to trot all the time." + +Though Miss Blake was a good walker and took a great deal of exercise, +she always preferred to ride when she was with Nan, for the girl forged +ahead at such a rate and darted in among the maze of trucks and cars +and carriages so recklessly that there was actual danger as well as +discomfort in trying to keep abreast with her. Still she made no +objection to "trotting," and they started off at a brisk pace. + +"Don't you just love to be in the stores around Christmas-time?" asked +Nan, watching the crowds press and surge about the doorways of some of +the most popular shops. "It's so exciting and the things seem so gay +and alluring." + +"Yes, it is very attractive--all the motion and color," replied Miss +Blake, "but I don't like crowds, and when I am hemmed in at a counter +and can't get away I feel stifled and smothered, and long to scream." + +"Why don't you scream then? I would!" exclaimed Nan, with a laugh. +"I'd shriek, 'Air! Air!' and then you'd see how quick the people would +let you out." + +Miss Blake smiled with what Nan saw was amusement at some +just-remembered incident. + +"I was watching a huge celebration in London one spring," she said. +"It was in honor of some royal birthday or something, and the streets +were packed with people all eager to get a glimpse of the military +parade and the notabilities who were to take part in it. From the +window where I sat I could not see an inch of pavement, the crowd was +so dense. At last there was a sound of martial music and the First +Regiment appeared in full gala array. Oh, I assure you it was very +imposing and well worth taking some trouble to see. The crowds pushed +and jostled, and beyond the first line or two at the curb no one among +them could get more than an occasional glimpse of a stray cockade or a +floating banner. Still the people were massed solidly from the gutter +to the house-steps. We were wondering where the enjoyment in this came +in, and congratulating ourselves that we were not doomed to struggle +and fight for space in such a huddle, when suddenly we heard a shrill +scream. It was a woman's voice crying, 'Air! Air! Give me air!' In +another instant the crowd pushed back a step, and quite a +respectably-dressed young person staggered weakly through the line to +the curb, as if to get more breathing-space. Of course she could have +got this in a much easier way by going in the other direction, but you +see her plan was to get a better view of the procession, and she +thought that was a good method of accomplishing it. It seemed a clever +trick, and she was just settling herself to enjoy her improved +position, when quick as a flash an order was given: Two men unrolled +one of their army stretchers; the woman was whipped up and placed upon +it; the poles were seized and off they went, carrying that misguided +creature with them through all the gaping, jeering crowd. The last I +saw of her she was hiding her face in the coarse army blanket, probably +'crying her eyes out,' as you would say, with mortification and shame." + +"What a joke!" exclaimed Nan. "Poor thing! She didn't see the parade +after all, and I declare she deserved to. That was the time she was in +it though, with a vengeance." + +"Look out for this cab, Nan! Be careful. We cross here. Please don't +rush so--I can't keep up with you," pleaded Miss Blake. + +The girl gave her shoulders an impatient shrug and drew her eyebrows +together in a scowl of irritation. But her face cleared as she saw +Miss Blake buying their tickets at the box-office. + +"Get them good and up front," she begged. "If we're way back we can't +see a thing." + +The governess hesitated an instant; then a curious expression came over +her face and she said, deliberately, "Very well, dear! Up front they +shall be." + +The house was quite full and Nan thought it a singular piece of good +fortune that there were places left just where she would have chosen to +sit. + +"Just think of having come so late and yet being able to get the best +seats in the house," she said, exultantly. + +Miss Blake smiled. She understood better than Nan did why the majority +of the audience preferred places that were not so near the stage. + +Both she and the girl herself soon forgot everything else in their +interest in the mysterious tricks that were being performed before +their eyes. Of course they knew that all this magic could be +explained, but just at the moment it appeared difficult to imagine how. +A man seems really no less than a magician who can take a red billiard +ball from, no one knows where, out of mid-air, apparently, and suddenly +nipping off the end, transform it into two, each equally as large as +the first. Presently he thinks you would like to have a third, and, +presto! he draws one out from his elbow. Now a white one for a change! +But it is easy enough to get a white one. He opens his mouth and there +it is, held between his teeth. Then he thinks he will swallow a red +one. Pop! it is gone! A moment later he takes it out of the top of +his head. + +Nan noticed that as the performance progressed the tricks grew +"curiouser and curiouser," as Alice would say, and the wizard seemed to +take his audience more and more into his confidence. He no longer +confined himself to the stage, but came tripping down the steps that +led from the platform to the middle aisle and addressed, first this one +and then that from among his spectators--only Nan again noticed that +these always happened to be sitting as they were themselves, in the +foremost seats. He induced a man just in front of her to come upon the +stage to "assist" him in one of his "experiments," and the girl +trembled lest at any moment he might demand a similar favor of her, for +though she was reckless enough as a general thing, she had sufficient +delicacy to dread being made conspicuous in such a place as this. + +"O Miss Blake," she whispered in the governess' ear, "can't we move +back a little? If he should make me go up there I'd sink through the +floor!" + +"Probably you would. No doubt he would let you down himself--through a +trap-door. No, we must stay where we are and we must bear it as best +we may. Perhaps he will overlook us." + +Nan thought of her hat and the many glances it had drawn to her in the +restaurant, and for the first time she had a feeling of mistrust +regarding it. Suppose it should fix his eye, with its towering bows +and flaming bird-of-paradise! If it did, she would hate it forever +after. + +But she soon forgot her anxiety in her interest in the wizard himself. +Silver pieces were flung in the air and then mysteriously reappeared in +the pocket of some unsuspecting member of the audience who was much +surprised at seeing them straightway converted into so many gold ones +under his very nose. Innocent-looking hoops turned out to possess the +most remarkable faculty for resisting all attempts to link them on the +part of any one of the spectators, and yet immediately assuming all +manner of shapes and positions in the hands of the dexterous magician +himself. + +At last a shallow cabinet was set upon two chairs in the centre of the +stage, and after a word or two of explanation, the wizard drew first +one chair and then the other from beneath it, and lo! the magic +cupboard remained poised in midair, without any visible means of +support whatever. + +"You see, ladies and gentlemen," announced the suave magician, "this +cabinet is bare; precisely like Mother Hubbard's immortal cupboard. +Can you see anything there? No! I thought not. Now I will place +within it these bells, so; and this tambourine, so; also this empty +slate. You see it is empty. It is quite a simple slate, such as any +school-child would use, and its sides are entirely bare. Now I close +the doors of the cabinet, so; wave my wand, so; and--" + +Immediately there followed the sounds of ringing bells and rattling +tambourine, while in a moment all of these instruments came flying out +of the top of the cabinet as if they had been vigorously flung aloft by +hidden hands. The smiling magician stepped forward, opened the doors +of the cabinet with a flourish, and lo! it was empty save for the +slate, which proved to be covered over with scribbled characters, and +which he politely handed down to persons in the audience for +examination. + +Nan was completely bewildered and so lost to all that was going on +about her that she did not realize that the wizard was tripping down +the stage steps and making his way affably up the middle aisle again. +It was only when he spoke once more that she woke with a great start, +and then to her horror she found he was addressing her. + +"I am sure this young lady will not refuse me the loan of her hat for +my next experiment," he began with a persuasive smile. "I assure you, +Miss, I will not injure it in the least. You won't object, will you?" +and he held out his hand engagingly. + +The girl stiffened against the back of her chair, so disconcerted that +she felt actually dizzy. + +"Give him your hat," bade Miss Blake, quickly, as if to put an end to +their really painful conspicuousness. + +Nan obeyed blindly. The smiling magician took it with a profound bow +and held it up for all the audience to see. + +"Now you perceive, ladies and gentlemen," he remarked, "that there is +nothing mysterious about this hat. At least I am sure the ladies do. +To the gentlemen it doubtless seems very mysterious, but that is +because they do not understand the art of millinery." As he spoke he +made his way up the aisle and to the steps that led to the stage. "It +is a beautiful hat. Very elaborate and of a most stylish shape, as you +see, but not at all mysterious. Yet I mean to make it serve me in a +very interesting experiment, which I think you will admit is +exceedingly won--" + +But just here he stumbled upon one of the steps, and in trying to +recover himself let Nan's cherished head-gear fall and brought his +whole weight upon it, crushing it out of all recognition. + +"Oh, dear, dear! What have I done?" he deplored in sincerest dismay. + +Miss Blake's eyes fell and Nan's lips whitened. Every one was looking +at them now, and the magician was making them even more conspicuous by +apologizing to them over and over again in the most abject fashion. + +"How could I be so awkward! Such a beautiful hat and ruined through my +carelessness. I have no words to describe my regret. Do forgive me! +But I promised to return your property to you uninjured, did I not, +Miss? So, of course, I must keep my word." He held the battered mass +of ribbons and bird-of-paradise high above his head as he spoke, and +then went forward and placed a pistol in the hand of his assistant on +the stage. The man retired to a distance and the wizard held the hat +at arm's length as if for a target. + +"Now, ready? Then--shoot!" + +A second for aim: a report; and the smiling Callmann stepped forward +with the hat in his hand, quite whole again and unimpaired. + +A shudder ran through Nan as she heard the applause and saw her +property held up to public view. She dared not turn her head to look +at Miss Blake, and she hardly heard the wizard's voice as he asked to +be permitted to use the hat for still another experiment, and she +scarcely saw how he placed it on a table, a perfectly innocent looking +table, and then proceeded to take from it a multitude of things--from a +gold watch to a clucking hen. + +When the hen came to light the audience fairly shouted, and Nan thought +she could never in the world get up courage to set that hat on her head +again and walk out before the eyes of these quizzical people. + +"They'll laugh at me all the way," she thought moodily. "And if they +ever see me in the street they'll say, 'There goes that trick hat! The +one the hen came out of!' I wish it was in Jericho!" + +Miss Blake comforted her as best she could with little hidden pressures +of the hand and whispered words of sympathy, but the rest of the +performance was torture to them both, and when, at last, it was over +and they were well on their way home, Nan heaved a great sigh of relief +and tried to summon back her courage by declaring that "I don't care if +they did laugh when that hen clucked inside it and he said he was +afraid this was what might be called 'a loud hat!' It's heaps better +than lots I saw on other girls, so there!" + +"I am glad you are satisfied with it," said Miss Blake, simply. + + + + +CHAPTER X + +EXPERIENCES + +For the first time since Nan could remember, the house was full of the +air of Christmas preparation. Of course she had always had presents, +and she never failed to give Delia a gift, but there was no scent of +mystery about the holiday celebration; no delicious odor of a hidden +Christmas tree; no sense of unseen tokens; nothing to distinguish the +time from an ordinary birthday anniversary. But this year everything +was changed, and Nan was as much occupied with her own secrets and +surprises as either Miss Blake or Delia, who whispered and dodged and +smiled cunningly all day long in the most perplexing manner. But she +confined her preparations to her own room, while the governess +apparently needed the library and all the rest of the house, too, and +Nan found herself barred out of Miss Blake's room by her own stubborn +pride which still forbade her to go in without a formal invitation. +She was also locked out of the library which was now being made festive +for the coming holiday, so that at times she wandered about quite +helplessly in a sort of forlorn state of having nowhere to turn. + +She had fallen into the habit of running over to the Newton's while +Ruth was sick, and she proved such a tender nurse and entertaining +companion that the child's mother looked forward with relief to her +visits, and only wished she would come oftener. + +"She keeps Ruth so happy and contented. It gives me a free minute to +turn 'round in, and is a real comfort." + +"I thought you would find her helpful," responded Miss Blake. "She +loves children, and they know it and love her back again. She is very +gentle with them, and I know you may trust her, for she is as true as +steel." + +"She's a changed girl, that's the whole truth of the matter. You've +simply tamed her, the young savage!" + +"Oh, Nan has a fine nature. All she needs is judicious training. If I +were not sure of that I should despair many and many a time. She needs +judicious training and a world of patience and love." + +Mrs. Newton dropped her work into her lap and looked up earnestly into +the governess' face. + +"Yes, I can believe it. What a rash, head-long sort of creature you +must think me! Why, I was as bad as Nan herself, to go over there and +simply browbeat her as I did! Do you suppose she will ever really +forgive me?" + +"I'm sure she has done so already. Nan is generous. She does not bear +malice. She has a vast amount of pride but as yet she does not know +how to use it." + +"I should think it would be enough to break down your health--such +constant care and responsibility. It is Nan's salvation to have you +with her, but do you think you can hold out?" + +Miss Blake pondered a moment and then nodded her head decidedly. "I +will hold out," she said staunchly. + +"You don't know how boisterous she was, and how it shocked me! At last +I grew frenzied, and when Ruth was brought in to me injured in that +way, through her fault, I supposed, I lost control of myself entirely, +and felt that, come what might, the girl must be attended to. There's +no doubt of it, your Nan is improved, and if this neighborhood is not +made miserable by her piercing war-cries, her hairbreadth adventures, +and her eccentric behavior generally, it is all owing to you. But here +she comes herself! Put away your work! Quick!" + +Nan knocked politely at the open door. + +"Oh, come in, dear!" said Mrs. Newton cordially, and the governess +looked at her encouragingly and smiled. + +"Bridget told me to come right up," explained Nan. "Is Ruth out?" + +"No, taking a nap in the nursery. She'll be awake soon now, I'm sure. +Take off your things and sit down." + +"Won't I be in the way?" + +Mrs. Newton patted her on the shoulder. "No, my dear, you won't. On +the contrary, it will be very pleasant to have you here to take a cup +of tea with Miss Blake and me; will you excuse me a moment while I go +and call Katy to bring it up?" + +"I thought you were in your room," said Nan to Miss Blake as their +hostess left the room. + +"Did you need me? Why didn't you knock? What was it you wanted me to +do?" + +"Oh, nothing. I didn't need you--that is, there wasn't anything I +wanted you to do, only--it seemed kind of lonely, and so I came over +here." + +"And I thought you would be locked in your own room for the rest of the +afternoon. How dreadfully mysterious we all are nowadays." + +Nan laughed. She got out of her coat with a tug and a squirm and flung +it on the lounge. Then she wrenched off her hat (the Sternberg affair) +and tossed it carelessly after the coat. + +Miss Blake bent over and straightened the untidy heap without a word. + +"Delia is making mince pie-lets for dinner," announced Nan. + +"How jolly of her!" said Miss Blake. + +"Huh!" exclaimed Nan. "She said you told her to." + +The governess smiled. + +Mrs. Newton came in a moment later and after her Katy with the tea-tray. + +Nan sprawled down on the rug in complete comfort while Miss Blake and +Mrs. Newton sipped their tea and talked of all sorts of things, to +which she hardly listened. + +She was full of her own thoughts, and somehow they were all connected +with the governess. In fact, her influence seemed to pervade +everything, and Nan often wondered how the house would seem without +her, now that they had "sort of got used to having her around." +Without a doubt she made herself useful. And somehow she managed to +make people depend on her in spite of themselves. And yet she never +made a fuss or exaggerated the things she did. She was always doing +"little things "--little things that didn't make any show, and yet they +were so kind they "sort of made you like her whether you wanted to or +not." This thought came upon Nan with a start, that roused her from +her musing and made her sit bolt upright with surprise. Had Miss Blake +made her like her, then? After all the reproaches she had cast upon +Delia was she no better than a turn-coat herself? + +"We had ours built in before we came into the house," Mrs. Newton was +saying. "It is a vast improvement. I wouldn't be without it for the +world." + +Nan pricked up her ears. She wondered what this desirable thing might +be. + +"Who did the work?" Miss Blake asked. + +"Buchanan. And I'll say this for him, he did it well. I haven't a +fault to find. I think you'd be satisfied with him." + +"A person doesn't like to put a piece of work like that into the hands +of a man one knows nothing about," resumed Miss Blake. "I'm glad to +profit by your experience. It may save me, too, a great deal of worry +and no little expense." + +"Oh, yes," returned Mrs. Newton. "If one can economize on experience +it's a great satisfaction. It's the best school I know of. But it's +so expensive that it ruins some of us before we're done." + +"What's the best school you know of?" asked Nan, curiously. + +"Experience," replied Miss Blake. + +"Oh!" + +"Yes; and it's a school we all have to go to at one time or another," +put in Mrs. Newton. "But we might make it a good deal easier for +ourselves sometimes if we'd take hints from our friends who have +graduated." + +"Have you graduated?" Nan asked, half in fun, turning to Miss Blake. + +But Mrs. Newton broke in before the governess could reply for herself. +"Graduated! Well, I should think so! Why, she has carried off honors! +She has taken a diploma--with a ribbon 'round it!" + +Miss Blake laughed. "Nothing of the sort, Nan. I've had a few +lessons, that is all." + +"Oh, tell about some of them, won't you?" cried Nan, eagerly. "It +would be lots of fun." + +The governess considered. + +"Well, yes. I will tell you of the very first lesson I can remember, +if you care to hear," she answered, with a wistful smile. "I won't +promise it will be 'lots of fun,' though." + +"Never mind! Tell it!" And Nan settled herself more comfortably +against the governess' knee quite as if that person were, in reality, +her prop and stay, instead of being only some one she "sort of liked in +spite of herself." + +"I think it must have been the first real experience I ever had," began +Miss Blake, musingly. "At least it is the first one I recollect. I +was the littlest bit of a girl when my mother died; too young to +realize it, and my father scarcely outlived her a week. He died very +suddenly. They used to tell me that he died from grief. Anyway, he +was sitting at his desk looking over some important papers connected +with my mother's affairs, when suddenly he put his hand to his heart, +gave a faint gasp--and was gone." + +"What an elegant way to die!" broke in Nan impulsively. + +Mrs. Newton gave an exclamation of real horror at her flippancy. + +"Oh, you know what I mean!" the girl hastened to protest. "I think it +must be worlds better than being sick, or hurt in an accident, or any +of those dreadful, lingering deaths." + +"After that I was given over into the charge of some distant +connections of my father," continued the governess. "They were good, +conscientious people, but they had no children of their own, and did +not like other people's. I presume I was not a very captivating baby." + +Nan straightened up suddenly. "I bet you were, though," she +interrupted. "You must have been a dot of a thing, with crinkly hair +and dimples, and mites of hands and feet. I should think they would +have loved you--I mean, a poor little lonely baby like you." + +Miss Blake smiled. "Well, however that was, Nan, I was brought up very +strictly, and I assure you, I was made to mind my P's and Q's. One +could not trifle with Aunt Rebecca! Well, one morning I was sitting at +the foot of the staircase playing house. I can see myself now, +squatting on the lowest step, my fat little legs scarcely long enough +to reach the floor. I had on a checked gingham pinafore, and my hair +was drawn tight behind my ears and braided into two tiny tails with red +ribbons on the ends. I knew it was against the rule to play house in +the hall, anywhere, in fact, but in my own little room--with the doors +shut, but somehow I felt reckless that day, and when I heard Aunt +Rebecca walking to and fro, just above my head, I didn't scamper off as +I ordinarily would have done; I just sat still and said to myself, 'I +don't care! I don't care!' It seemed to give me a lot of courage, and +I wasn't a bit afraid, even when Aunt Rebecca's footsteps came nearer, +and I knew she could see me from the top of the stairs. Indeed, I grew +mightily brave; so brave, that after a couple of minutes I raised my +voice and piped out: 'Aunt Becca! Aunt Becca!' + +"'Well,' answered she, 'what is it? what do you want?' + +"Even the severity of her voice didn't dismay me that rash morning. + +"'I want Lilly,' said I, airily. Lilly was my precious doll. 'She's +in her little chair in my room; won't you please to pitch me Lilly?' + +"For a moment Aunt Rebecca hesitated. I think she must have been +petrified by my audacity. But she recovered herself and turned, and +without a word went to my room and got Lilly from her 'little chair.' +I was as complacent as if it had been quite the usual thing for Aunt +Rebecca to fetch and carry for me. Indeed, perhaps I imagined I was +instituting a new order of things, and that in future she would do my +errands, instead of I hers. + +"She came back to the head of the stairway and I looked up pleasantly, +half-expecting, I suppose, that she would come down and deliver my +darling dolly safely into my hands. But she didn't. If I were giving +orders she would obey me to the letter. She 'pitched me Lilly.' I +gave a dismal wail of dismay as I saw my dear baby come hurtling +through the air, but when she landed on her blessed head, and I heard +the crack of breaking china, I just abandoned myself to grief and +howled desperately. Aunt Rebecca went about her business as if nothing +had happened, and by and by I stole off with my ruined dolly and cried +to myself in the back yard--because I had no one else to cry to." + +"You poor little thing!" burst out Nan, indignantly. "What a +detestable woman! As if she could have expected such a baby to know!" + +"You're wrong, Nan!" the governess said. "It was a wholesome lesson, +and I am grateful to Aunt Rebecca for having given it to me." + +"Well, I shouldn't think you would be," insisted the girl rebelliously. +"The idea of her expecting such a mite to understand!" + +"Ah, but you see I did understand. And I have never forgotten it. I +have never asked any one to 'pitch me Lilly' since that day--I mean +never when I could go and get her myself." + +Nan pondered over it moodily for a moment. "And did you have to stay +in that house until you were grown up?" she demanded. + +"Oh, no! When I was about your age I went to boarding-school, and +everything was changed and different after that." + +"How?" + +"Well, I made dear, faithful friends who took me to their hearts and +who made my life rich with their love. All that other hungry, empty +time was over, and for many years I never knew what it was to feel sad +or lonely, or to have a wish that would not have been gladly gratified +if it could be." + +"Now they were something like!" ejaculated Nan. "Dear me! I should +think you would have been sorry when you got through school." + +Miss Blake made no reply. She put up her hand to shield her eyes from +the glare of the fire, and for a second or two there was a deep hush in +the room. Nan was the first to break the silence. + +"Goodness!" she cried, springing to her feet with a bound. "It's as +dark as a pocket outside, and Delia'll think we're lost or something if +we don't go home." + +Miss Blake surreptitiously gathered her work together and slipped it +into her bag. "Yes, we must scamper," she exclaimed, as she turned to +help Nan on with her coat. + +"Dear, dear, what a gorgeous hat!" exclaimed Mrs. Newton, as the girl +set it carelessly upon her head. + +Nan looked sheepish. "I'm glad you like it!" she ventured clumsily. + +Mrs. Newton did not respond that she had not said she liked it. She +busied herself with Miss Blake and her wraps, and replied merely, "It's +a remarkable gay affair." + +Then she kissed the governess "Good-night," and saw both her and Nan +safely to the door. + +The two hastened across the street to see which could get out of the +wind first. + +"I beat!" panted the girl, as she stood in the vestibule and saw Miss +Blake breathlessly climb the last step. + +"Yes, you beat! Fair and square!" admitted the governess as Delia let +them in, chattering and shivering, from the chilly air. + +"Who'll beat now, going upstairs?" screamed Nan. + +Miss Blake made a dash for the first step and the two went flying up in +a perfect whirl of laughter and fun. + +Delia had forgotten to light the gas in Nan's room and the girl +stumbled about blindly, crashing into the furniture and casting off her +coat and hat in her old headlong fashion, not stopping to think of all +Miss Blake's warnings on the subject, but just hurrying to get down +stairs and "beat" the governess in another race. + +"Clean hands! Smooth hair, and a neat dress for dinner!" sang out the +governess gayly. + +Nan shrugged her shoulders in the dark and made a lunge at the +mantelpiece for a match. She struck it and lit the gas, swinging off +to the washstand as soon as it was done. + +Suddenly Miss Blake heard a shriek, a rush of feet across the floor, +and then Nan's voice exclaiming "Great Scott!" in a tone that was a +cross between a laugh and a cry. + +She did not wait a moment but hurried instantly to the girl's door. + +Nan was standing beside the gas fixture, and in her hand was her +cherished hat--a ruined mass of smoldering felt and charred plumage. + +"Nan!" exclaimed Miss Blake, horrified at the sight. + +"I know it! Isn't it awful! I just slung it on the globe as I always +do, and--and--when I lit the gas I forgot all about it, and it was +ablaze in a minute. Don't say a word! I know you've told me hundreds +of times not to put it there. But I forgot, and--O dear! what'll I +wear on my head the rest of the winter? But it is too funny!" + +Miss Blake tried to look stern. + +"I'm heartily sorry you've lost your hat, Nan," she said, kindly, +without a hint of reproach in her voice. "You were so fond of it. I'm +really very sorry, dear!" + +Nan checked her laughter. She let the hat fall to the floor. A sudden +impulse seized her, and she strode up the governess and took her by the +shoulders. + +"You're a real dear not to say 'I told you so!'" she cried. "And you +haven't jeered at me, though I know you hated the hat from the start. +And now I'm going to tell you something--two things! First: I'm never +going to hang up my clothes on the gas again, honestly! And second: I +hated the old thing, too. The minute I bought it I hated it, and I've +hated it ever since." + +Miss Blake looked up, and their eyes met. + +"Good for you, Nan," she said, standing on her tip-toes to pat the girl +approvingly on the head. "Good for you! And now it's my turn to +confess. Wait a minute!" + +She flew out of the room, and before Nan fairly knew she had gone she +was back again, and in her hand was a huge milliner's box. + +"I couldn't help it!" she cried, half apologetically. "I got it that +day, just to please myself--and now you'll wear it, won't you, dear? +It's very simple, but it is of the best, and it will match your coat, +you see." + +She untied the string, lifted the sheets of tissue-paper, and displayed +what even Nan had to admit was a beautiful hat. + +The girl looked at it in silence for a moment; then she ducked down +impulsively, and gave the governess a quick, shy kiss upon the cheek. + +"Thank you," she said, huskily, with a sort of gulp, and then she ran +out of the room as fast as her feet would carry her. + + + + +CHAPTER XI + +CHRISTMAS + +"This is to be a German Christmas," Miss Blake said, "and we're going +to celebrate it on Christmas eve. Of all the different customs I've +seen I like the German the best. It is so jolly and freundlich, as +they say over there." + +So on Christmas eve the library doors were thrown open for the first +time in days and days, and there stood the most glorious tree that Nan +had ever seen. It was decked out with a hundred glistening things and +laden down with red apples, yellow oranges, and pounds and pounds of +peppermint candy, and barley-sugar figures, pretty to see and delicious +to eat, to say nothing of Marzipan, to which the girl was introduced +for the first time, and which she found altogether fascinating. +Innumerable candles burned gayly among the spreading boughs, and at the +very top hovered an angel with outspread, shimmering wings, her hands +bearing a garland of glistening tinsel, and her garments ablaze with +gold and silver decoration. Grown girl as she was, Nan was delighted. +It was all so new and strange; so different from anything she had ever +experienced before. + +Beside the tree were tables spread with white cloths, and upon these +lay the presents, and wonderful presents they proved. Miss Blake and +Delia had outdone themselves, and Nan's table was a sight to behold. +It seemed to her it held everything she had ever expressed a wish +for--except a bicycle, of course. + +A pocket-kodak from Miss Blake, a banjo from her father, skates from +Delia, she had longed for just such a new pair, and innumerable other +articles bearing no giver's name, but coming, every one, from the same +generous source Nan knew well enough. She absolutely lost her head in +the delight of possessing such an array of treasures. + +Her own little offerings seemed to her poor and mean in comparison with +this display; but Miss Blake's eyes actually filled with grateful tears +at the sight of the half-dozen linen handkerchiefs the girl had marked +for her with so much trouble and at the cost of so many hours of +recreation, and Delia hugged her rapturously at the sight of the +gorgeous dress-pattern that Nan had selected for her "all alone by +herself," and that had come out of the saving of more than a +half-year's allowance of precious pocket-money. + +"Now, Nan!" said Miss Blake, when the first excitement had somewhat +subsided, "there is one more surprise that Delia and Mr. Turner and I +have planned for you, and as I expect it to arrive at any moment now, +and as it is pretty big I want you to help clear away these tables to +give it lots of room to move about in. We want to get everything out +of the way and all the presents safely stowed aside upstairs so nothing +will be broken. While we are going back and forth you may guess what +it is, if you like." + +"A bicycle?" ventured Nan, striding upstairs with her kodak in one arm +and a bundle of books in the other. + +"No, it's not a bicycle. Guess again. I'll give you two more," +answered the governess, following after her with her load. + +"I know what I want next to a bicycle." + +"What?" + +"I don't like to say." + +"Why?" + +"Well, you know," hesitated the girl, "if I said what it was, and if +what you've got turned out something different, you might feel +disappointed because you might think I did." + +Miss Blake smiled. "That's a generous thought, Nan," she said; "but I +give you free leave to speak out." + +Even now the girl hesitated, and stood awkwardly balancing herself +against the baluster-rail. "Even if you wanted to you couldn't give it +to me," she blurted out, at length. + +"Why?" repeated Miss Blake. + +"Because--oh, because--it wouldn't come," she cried, with a rueful +laugh. + +"Now that sounds ominous," exclaimed the governess, as she and Nan +started on their last trip. "It sounds as if you wanted a horse, or +something of that sort, that might prove balky." + +"No, it isn't a horse. But it's balky enough, if that's all." + +"Then tell me why it wouldn't come?" + +Nan let her armful of gifts fall on her counterpane in a heap. "Oh, +because--because--its mothers don't approve of me. What I want is a +party, so there! and I couldn't have one because, even if my father +could afford it, no one would come. Grace Ellis wouldn't, nor Mary +Brewster, nor any of those girls I'd want. They turn up their noses at +me because they think I don't know how to behave. Once Louie Hawes +spoke to me and I liked her, but the next time I saw her she looked the +other way, and I suppose some one had told her something she didn't +approve of. So she wouldn't come either--no matter how much I asked +her, and of course I wouldn't ask her at all. Mrs. Andrews up the +street asked me to Ruth's party last winter, but I heard their girl +tell Delia that she did it because she had known my mother and felt +obliged to, so I wouldn't go. I couldn't after that, you know. I did +go to the Buckstone twins' party, but all the other girls got off in +corners and laughed and talked, and I was left out and had to shift for +myself. So I went and talked to John Gardiner and Harley Morris and +those, and of course we got on first-rate--we always do, for if I can't +dance I can skate, and the boys got me to promise I'd go with them the +next good ice, and we got talking about other things, and I never +thought anything about the girls any more until Mrs. Buckstone came up +and said, 'I'm sorry, my dear, to break up this pleasant group, but we +can't permit you to monopolize our young gentlemen. The rest of the +young ladies are waiting for partners.' Then I knew I had got myself +into a scrape, for Mrs. Buckstone was dreadfully icy and the girls were +furious. So you see no one would come." + +Miss Blake caught up a stray lock of hair at the girl's temple and +tucked it back into place, smoothed the ribbon upon her "best dress" +collar, and said tenderly: + +"Well, that will all be made right to-night, I guess. Come, take my +hand, and let's fly down stairs, and be ready to receive, for you've +got your wish--there's the bell!--and your party is coming in." + +They met the first comers on the stairs, and had to hurry past them to +avoid getting caught by a second installment. After that the guests +came quick and fast, and Nan had all she could do to welcome them and +wonder dimly in between how things were to be started, so that +everybody should have a good time. + +But, bless you! She might have saved herself the trouble, for Miss +Blake simply set things going without any bother at all, and before Nan +realized what was happening, she saw the governess and big John +Gardiner leading in a lively game, while the music of a piano and some +violins, which were hidden away out of sight, fell upon her delighted +ear. She followed the sound, and it took her to the glass extension, +which, to her astonishment, was all alight, and fragrant with flowering +plants and towering palms. The "old trunks and things" that had +littered the place were gone, and in their stead was all this soft +greenness and bloom, while from above hung graceful lanterns, sending +out a tender light that made the leaves look shadowy and waxen, and +gave the spot a peculiar air of mystery and grace. + +She found Louie Hawes and Ruth Andrews hidden away in a snug corner +behind a screening rubber-tree. They were apparently deep in +conversation when she came up, but at sight of her they fell suddenly +silent and looked embarrassed and ill at ease. For a moment Nan was at +a loss what to do. Then, all at once, Miss Blake's rule for etiquette +flashed across her mind: + +"When you don't know how to act, Nan, do something honest and kind, and +that will be sure to be right." + +She told herself that perhaps after all, the girls had not been talking +about her, and said to them pleasantly: + +"Do you like it away back here? It's rather out of the way of the +games; but don't you want to play?" + +"Oh, yes; by and by," stammered Ruth, awkwardly. "It's awfully pretty +in this conservatory, and Lu and I got in here and couldn't get away. +One wants to sit still and just enjoy it. I think I never saw such +dainty lanterns." + +The conversation seemed on the point of coming to a standstill, but Nan +plunged in again, her sense of being hostess spurring her on. + +"I guess they're some Miss Blake brought with her from China, or +somewhere. She has been around the world, and has collected any number +of beautiful things. Some of them are perfectly fine." + +"Oh, I think she herself is one of the loveliest things!" cried Ruth, +enthusiastically. "She has a darling face. One wants to kiss her, +she's so dear!" + +"Mamma says she used to know her years ago at school," said Louie. +"She says she is one of the finest characters she knows. She was +delighted to have me come when Miss Blake asked me to your party." + +"Yes, it was awfully nice of you to think of us," put in Ruth, +laboriously. + +Again the conversation threatened to flag. But here was Nan's +opportunity to do something honest, and she did it. + +"Oh, don't thank me. I didn't think of you," she returned bluntly; +"that is, I didn't know anything at all about the party myself until a +little while ago. Miss Blake did it all. I don't know how in the +world she ever happened to ask just the ones I wanted, though." + +Ruth and Louie exchanged glances. Then they laughed. + +"Well, if you didn't think of us," they said, "you wanted us, so it's +nice of you all the same." + +That broke the ice, and it wasn't five minutes before all three were +sitting together and chatting as comfortably as if they had been on the +most intimate terms of friendship for years, and it was only Nan's +sense of her responsibility as hostess that dragged her away at last. + +"Miss Blake will wonder where we are. Won't you come into the other +room? Besides you can't enjoy being cooped up in this little corner +when the fun is going on outside." + +"Oh, but we do enjoy it!" protested Ruth. "It's giving us a chance to +get acquainted with you. And we want you to promise us that you'll go +skating with us day after to-morrow. Please do!" + +"Of course we know how you skate," declared Louie, "and we'll be so +proud to have such a champion in our club. Say you'll come! And don't +hold it against us that we haven't asked you before." + +Nan's heart leaped. "Why, I'll love to," she said with a frankness +equal to Louie's own, adding in a tone quite new to her, "if Miss Blake +will let me." + +Grace Ellis and Mary Brewster lifted their eyebrows in surprise as the +three girls appeared in the doorway, chatting so intimately and being +so plainly on the best of terms. + +"Dear me!" whispered Grace, "what's come over Lu and Ruth? They +actually look as if they liked her." + +"Don't you believe it," declared Mary sourly. "They're here at her +party and they can't exactly shove her off in her own house, but it +will be 'for one night only.' Now you see! They won't want her around +now any more than they have before--a rowdyish thing like that." + +She had scarcely replaced her bitter expression by one more suited to +the time and place when Louie came over to where they were, her face +wreathed in smiles, and her arm flung impulsively around Nan's waist. + +"O girls!" she cried. "Isn't it nice? Ruth and I have made Nan +promise that she'll come skating with us day after to-morrow, and she's +going to join the club. Won't it put a feather in our cap to have such +a member?" + +Mary knit her brows and Grace smiled icily. + +"Very nice," they responded coldly. + +Nan's eyes flashed, and then suddenly lowered. "Oh! I didn't give a +definite promise," she returned quietly, and with unexpected dignity. +"I said if Miss Blake would let me. I'm afraid she won't. I hurt my +ankle not long ago, and I haven't dared exercise it much since. +Probably Miss Blake will think I ought to save it for a while yet." + +"But you were out on Saturday," protested Ruth. "I saw you. Your +ankle is only an excuse. You skate so easily, it couldn't be a strain." + +Grace looked at Mary with a curious expression in her eyes, but neither +of them added her voice to the other girls' solicitations, and the +little group stood there in what threatened to become a painful silence +when Nan felt a light touch on her shoulder, and, turning around, +discovered Miss Blake standing at her elbow. + +"O Nan!" she said, smiling brightly at the other girls, as if to excuse +herself for not including them in her familiarity, "won't you please go +and see if you can't entertain that poor young Joe Tracy? I've done my +best, but he won't come out of his shell for all I can do, and I think +your hearty, breezy way is just what he needs. He looks so forlorn, +tucked away 'all alone by himself,' as you would say." + +She patted the girl affectionately on the shoulder as she sent her on +her way, saying heartily, as she passed out of ear-shot: "I always feel +perfectly secure when I can fall back on Nan to help me out with shy, +sensitive people. She has such a great, warm heart that it seems to +thaw their stiffness right out of them." + +Louie threw her arm impulsively about the governess' waist: + +"You're such a dear!" she cried, demonstratively; "and I'm over and +over obliged to you for letting me come here and get acquainted with +Nan. I think she is ever so nice, and it's a shame that we haven't +known each other before." + +Miss Blake gave the girl a hearty smile. + +"Better late than never," she returned gayly. + +Grace Ellis reddened and Mary Brewster tilted her chin superciliously, +but they both turned their eyes suddenly in the direction of the other +end of the room as Ruth Andrews grasped Miss Blake's arm, and whispered +excitedly: + +"For goodness' sake, do look over there! Nan has got Joe Tracy +laughing already." + +Sure enough, the lad's pale, sensitive face was all aglow, and, as he +listened to what the girl was saying, his eyes brightened and his mouth +danced up at the corners in a laugh of genuine appreciation. Nan was +gesticulating in her own graphic fashion, and the girls could easily +follow her by watching her expression and her vivid pantomime. + +Plainly she was describing the sleight-of-hand performance to her +bashful friend, and Miss Blake could readily see that she was not +sparing herself in the recital. + +She raised her hands to her head and pretended to take off her hat, +which she made a show of reluctantly surrendering to some one who +received it with a profound bow. Then she suddenly leaned forward, as +if stumbling on something, and the next moment she held up her hand and +seemed to be regarding some article upon it with an exaggeratedly +doleful expression that was such an exact imitation of the renowned +wizard's that Miss Blake recognized it at once, and laughed as heartily +as Joe Tracy himself. By this time the girls were thoroughly +interested, and kept their eyes fixed on Nan so that they might not +lose one gesture nor the slightest change of expression. + +"O dear! Those Buckstone girls! Why do they get in my way," lamented +Louie Hawes, "I wish they wouldn't crowd round her so. First thing +they know she'll notice them, and stop short off and won't tell any +more." + +"Hush, Lu! There go John Gardiner and Harley Morris!" + +But Nan was in full swing now, and too absorbed in her story to be +aware of the little court that had gathered around her. Joe Tracy's +eyes followed her every movement with greedy interest, and when she at +length imitated the flapping wings of the clucking hen he simply +shouted with laughter and clapped his hands vigorously, quite lost to +all but his appreciation and sense of the fun of the thing. + +It seemed to remind him of something similar in his own experience, for +he immediately started in on a description of his own, and Nan sat +listening in her turn with rapt attention. Every now and then a shout +of laughter would come from the group in the distant corner, and the +girls longed to go over and join in the fun. + +"Listen to John Gardiner 'haw-haw!'" cried Mary Brewster. + +"Don't the Buckstone twins give funny little giggles?" interposed Louie. + +"Why can't we go over and listen too?" suggested Ruth. + +So they all, even Grace Ellis and Mary Brewster, went softly toward the +alluring corner, and were just in time to catch the end of Joe Tracy's +story, which was so witty that John Gardiner swayed back and forward +with delight and shook the room with his hearty laugh, and the +Buckstone girls' giggle joined in like a shrill accompaniment. + +It had all come about so naturally that Joe Tracy did not realize that +he had been orating to a roomful, and he did not seem to mind it at all +when he discovered that he and Nan had had an audience. His shyness +was quite gone and his face was radiant with enjoyment. + +The piano and violins started in again, and Miss Blake was heard +inviting bulky Tom Porter to escort her down to supper. + +Of course, Nan had known all along that there would be something to +eat, but she had not dreamed of such a spread as this. + +It made her eyes shine and her cheeks glow to hear such whispered words +as these: + +"Yes, indeed! Aren't you?" + +"Far and away the jolliest one yet!" + +"Do get me some more salad, won't you, please? It's the best I ever +ate!" + +"Up-and-down jolly time. A fellow likes to be made feel at home like +this." + +Miss Blake, who without seeming to be watching any one, saw that every +one was well supplied, kept a constant eye on Nan, and at last, on the +strength of what she discovered, thought it was time to interfere. + +"Now sit down, my dear," she commanded softly, coming up behind the +girl and touching her gently on the arm. "You are getting all tired +out and having nothing to eat yourself. Every one is served and the +waiters will look out for the rest. I have saved a place for you in +the corner beside Louie and Ruth. So go now and rest and eat and enjoy +yourself. You must not be the only one at your party who is neglected." + +Nan gave her a grateful look and dashed off toward Louie and Ruth who +were beckoning wildly to her to come. They had so much to tell that +they almost forgot their plates in their eagerness to talk. + +"Grace Ellis is just wild to come over here," confided Louie. + +"But Mary Brewster won't let her. Mary just bosses Grace about till I +think it's positively disgraceful," whispered Ruth. + +John Gardiner sauntered up. + +"Got everything you want?" he asked in a manful effort to be attentive. + +"No!" replied Nan, promptly, with a twinkle in her eye. "I want a +bicycle, please. Won't you get me one?" and she held out her plate as +if to have it supplied with the desired article. + +The tall fellow laughed. "With pleasure," he said, and took the plate +and marched off with it. + +"O dear! I hadn't finished my salad!" lamented Nan, looking +regretfully after him. + +Louie managed to telegraph their dilemma to Harley Morris, who promptly +responded to it by appearing with another plate of salad and a dish of +sandwiches. He did not go away after Nan was served, but stayed on and +led in the laugh when John Gardiner reappeared with a tiny ice cream +bicycle daintily poised against a mound of jelly, which he presented to +Nan with a low bow full of mock dignity, saying: + +"You have only to command and you are obeyed. Here is your wheel, and +may it go as fast as if it were geared to a hundred." + +"Thank you," replied Nan, accepting the joke and the plate at the same +time. "It'll go fast enough, no fear of that. Eating is never up-hill +work with me, and this has nothing to do but coast, you see," and she +swallowed the first mouthful down with a jolly laugh. + +"Look over at Mary Brewster! She's trying her best to pretend she +ignores us," whispered Ruth, but not so low but that the young fellows +could hear. + +"Is one who ignores an ignor--amus?" asked Harley Morris, grinning +broadly at his own witticism. + +"Yes," promptly answered Louie. "And in this case especially so, for +she doesn't know what she's losing." + +There were more games after supper, and last of all came the jolliest +part of the whole evening, an old-fashioned Virginia reel, Miss Blake +and John Gardiner leading and the rest following with the heartiest of +zest. In and out they tripped and up and down they ran till all were +fairly out of breath. Then suddenly Miss Blake seized John's hand, and +away they sped toward the library, the rest following helter-skelter, +where the Christmas tree stood all lighted and ablaze. + +"All hands round!" shouted John, as they formed a ring and pranced +gayly about the fragrant tree. + +Then up rose the governess' cheery voice, singing the dear old +Christmas carol that is always new: + + "Hark! the herald angels sing + Glory to the new-born King; + Peace on earth and mercy mild; + God and sinners reconciled." + + +And the rest joined in and made the house re-echo with their hearty +chorus: + + "Joyful all ye nations rise, + Join the triumph of the skies; + With th' angelic host proclaim, + Christ is born in Bethlehem!" + + +It seemed to melt the hearts of every one there, for the voices that +presently said "Good-night," were full of peace and good-will, and even +Mary Brewster's had a ring of sincerity in it as she murmured: + +"Good-night, Miss Blake! Good-night, Nan. I've had a charming +evening, and I hope we'll know each other better after this." + + + + +CHAPTER XII + +SMALL CLOUDS + +It proved an ideal Christmas day. Clear and cold and spotlessly white, +for the snow fell heavily all through the night, and covered everything +with a mantle of glistening frost. + +Nan looked out of her window, and gave a gasp of delight as she saw the +shimmering, rime-covered trees, with the sunshine striking full upon +them and bringing out sparks of light from every branch and twig. +Whatever sounds there were in the streets came to her softened and +mellowed over the snow-laden ground, and as she listened she felt a +great wave of inward happiness surge into her heart and make the +possibilities of life seem very different to her from anything she had +ever dreamed of before. The snow, the sound of chiming Christmas +bells, worked upon her, and made her feel that it would be easy to be +good, and that her days ought all to be like this; that she would make +them so, serene and melodious, every one a festival. + +She heard Miss Blake stirring in the next room, and tore herself away +from her dreams to begin the day well with a prompt appearance at the +breakfast table. + +"It seems to me that if father were only here I wouldn't have a thing +left in the world to wish for," she said happily, spearing a gold-brown +scallop with her fork and eating it with relish. + +Miss Blake put down her coffee-cup just as she was carrying it to her +lips, and her face wore the curious expression that Nan had so often +noticed there and could never account for. But the girl was too busy +with her own thoughts to regard it to-day, and the governess hastened +to respond: + +"Then next year, please God, you will be quite entirely happy. And a +year is not long to wait." + +"No, indeed!" broke in Nan. "Why, I never knew the time to go as +quickly as it does lately. It doesn't seem any while at all since you +came, and you've been here over two months. Just let's think what +we'll do next Christmas, when father is home. To begin with, I'm going +down to the dock with Mr. Turner, so that when the ship comes in he'll +see me the first thing. Then we'll come up here, and you and Delia +will be waiting to welcome him at the door, and there'll be decorations +and things and--" + +"You forget, dear Nan," Miss Blake said, gently interrupting her, "that +I shall not be here then." + +The girl's face fell and the light died out of her eyes. Then she +brightened again suddenly. + +"Oh, you must, you must! Why, my father will want to see you. Of +course you'll be here. You'll have to stay and meet him. You can +surely do as much as that. You don't know how dear my father is! And +so handsome and good! Why, if you once saw him you couldn't possibly +be afraid. He's simply the kindest man in the world, and when he +smiles at you, you just love him--you can't help it." + +Miss Blake herself smiled faintly. "I am sure he is all you say, Nan," +she replied. "But listen! There go the first bells. We must hurry or +we shall be late for church." + +The girl rose and made her way rather slowly to the stairs. Somehow +she felt less light-hearted than she had done a few minutes before. +What was it? She could not understand. The world had seemed all joy +and sunshine to her a quarter of an hour since, and now there was a +cloud over her heart that dimmed for her even the radiant prospect of +her father's return. + +"I feel just like sitting down and having a good cry--if I ever did +such a thing," she said to herself as she fastened on her new hat and +tried to be glad that it was so becoming. + +But as she and Miss Blake walked along the streets in the midst of a +crowd of happy, chatting church-goers her spirits rose, and she nodded +gayly to the Buckstone girls and Harley Morris, and broke into quite a +ripple of laughter as John Gardiner overtook them and asked if the +wheel he had brought her the night before had proved a good one. + +"Oh, it was immense!" answered Nan, merrily. + +The services were beautiful, and Nan entered into them heart and soul, +listening to the sermon with rapt attention and letting her fresh young +voice swell out jubilantly in the dear, familiar carols as she had +never done before. + +As they went out of church Miss Blake said to her softly: + +"You won't mind going on without me, will you, Nan? I have a little +errand to do before I go home. Tell Delia I'll be back in time for +dinner." + +[Illustration: "I have a little errand to do"] + +"But why can't I go with you?" demanded the girl. + +"Because it--it wouldn't be best. I will explain it to you later. Now +I must go. Tell Delia what I said. But if I should happen to be +delayed don't wait, and don't--that is, tell Delia not to worry. +Good-bye!" and she was around the corner before Nan could say another +word. + +Ruth Andrews joined her and they walked along together, falling at once +into the easy terms of familiarity that had sprung up between them the +night before. + +"O Nan!" began Ruth abruptly, "you aren't going to be such a goose as +to back out of joining the skating club just because--well, because +Mary Brewster's such a prig? She isn't the whole membership, not by a +good deal, and the rest of us count on your coming. Why, you'll be a +tremendous acquisition. And the first meet is to-morrow. Won't you +come?" + +Nan hesitated. "It isn't because I'm a goose," she said at length. +"That is, I mean--oh, I can't explain it, but really, Ruth, I'd rather +not join. I wouldn't have a good time myself, and I'd only be spoiling +Mary Brewster's pleasure. It's no use. I know she's not the whole +club, and I really think the rest of you would like to have me, but +somehow, knowing she didn't want me, would spoil the whole thing and +I'd just be miserable the entire time." + +Ruth shook her head as if at the hopeless state of Nan's obstinacy, but +she broke in again immediately with a new suggestion: + +"Besides, I don't think you can be at all sure she feels that way now. +Why, I myself heard her telling you and Miss Blake that she hoped you +and she would know each other better after this." + +"Well, so we do," said Nan, whimsically. "I know now for a certainty +that she doesn't want me, and she knows that I won't go where I'm not +wanted, and if that isn't getting acquainted with a vengeance I'd like +to know what is." + +Ruth laughed ruefully, but broke in, with sudden inspiration: "O dear! +You're as proud as a peacock, Nan Cutler. Louie will be dreadfully +disappointed, for she told me to tell you she counted on you to take +her out. She's never skated much, you know, and she's wobbly on her +ankles. She's afraid of the teachers, and she doesn't like to ask the +boys, because they hate to have a girl hanging on to them, and the rest +of us have as much as we can do to attend to our own affairs." + +Nan's face lit up with quick pleasure. "Oh, if Louie needs me I'll +come in a jiffy. If you see her, won't you tell her I'll be only too +happy to teach her everything I know?" + +"Then we'll call for you at ten sharp to-morrow morning," announced the +wily Ruth, and before Nan could change her mind she had slipped off and +left her standing with her word given at her steps. + +"Where's Miss Blake?" asked Delia, opening the door in answer to Nan's +ring and seeing her alone. + +"Gone off somewhere on an errand or something. I don't know. She said +she'd be home for dinner, but if she wasn't, not to worry and not to +wait." + +Delia wrung her hands. "O Nan, child, why did you let her away from +you? She's gone to the Duffys; I know she has. And they've scarlet +fever in the house. The milkman told me so this morning at mass. +She's been going there for weeks, doing for them and carrying them +money and things. The youngest of the children had been sick all the +week, and now she's down with the fever. If I'd only thought to tell +her this morning! But my head was so full of the breakfast and +clearing up a bit after last night that I forgot. Oh, why did you let +her away from you?" + +"How could I know?" cried Nan, almost savagely. "I never knew she went +to such places! What has she got to do with the Duffys, anyhow? Why +hasn't somebody stopped her from going, I should like to know? She's +no business to run such risks. The first thing you know she'll catch +the fever, and then--and then--" + +She turned her back on Delia, and the next moment was flying upstairs +two steps at a time. + +"What are you going to do, Nan?" cried the woman. + +"Go after her and bring her home!" shouted the girl. + +But Delia barred the way when she tried to come down again. "You can't +do that, Nan," she protested. "It would only make things worse. Just +wait, and see if she comes home to dinner." + +"No; I want to go now!" persisted the girl. + +"But don't you see it would only worry her?" insisted Delia. + +Nan considered. "Well, I'll wait till dinner," she admitted; "but if +she isn't here by then I'll start." + +She sat down by the parlor window and commenced to watch. It seemed to +her that every one in town came into sight but the one she was looking +for with such curious anxiety. Suddenly her heart gave a great leap. +She flew to the front door and flung it wide. + +"She's come! She's come!" she shouted to Delia, exultantly. + +"Nan, Nan!" cried Miss Blake, hearing the joyous ring in her voice and +seeing the glad light in her eyes. "What is the matter? Has anything +happened? Has--has any one come?" As she spoke her lips grew white. + +"Yes! You're the matter! You've happened! You've come! I tell you +I'm glad! And don't you ever go to those Duffys again, where there's +scarlet fever, and you can die of it!" + +Miss Blake sank upon the hall-chair and held her hand to her heart. + +"Why, what's the matter?" gasped Nan, frightened at the sight of her +white face. + +"Nothing, dear, nothing! I was startled--that was all." + +"But who startled you?" persisted the girl. + +"Not you. It is all over now." + +"You see," Nan hastened to explain, "the milkman told Delia there was +scarlet fever at the Duffys, and we thought you had gone there, and it +scared us to death." + +"But I told you to tell Delia not to worry." + +"Much good telling would do! Besides, you didn't tell me not to worry. +Of course, she'd worry anyhow and so would I. But is it true? Have +the Duffys got scarlet fever?" + +Miss Blake hesitated. Then she said, truthfully, "Yes, they have, Nan. +Little Mary Ellen has it. But you need not be afraid. I would not +come back into this house without taking every precaution." + +Nan cast on her an indignant look. "And you think that's what made us +worry?" she asked, and turned on her heel and tramped upstairs in high +displeasure. But she had scarcely got as far as the landing when she +felt a hand upon her arm. + +"Nan, forgive me. I didn't think so--really. I know you had my safety +in mind. But I have been very careful all along. And now I have a +good nurse for the child, and I think she will pull through." + +"But promise me you won't go there any more," demanded Nan, sternly, +only half mollified. + +"I promise gladly. They don't need me now, and it would be wicked to +take an unnecessary risk." + +"Well, I should think so. Now, remember, you've promised. O Delia! +Is dinner ready?" + +All through the meal Miss Blake was aware of Nan's eyes fixed upon her +in a peculiarly scrutinizing gaze. She was puzzled, but asked no +questions, sure that, sooner or later, the girl would disclose the +reason herself. At length it came. + +"Does your head ache, Miss Blake?" + +"No, dear; why?" + +"Because your cheeks are pretty red, and I thought you might not be +feeling very well." + +"Probably the brisk wind has made them so, for I feel very well indeed." + +"Oh!" + +But at twilight Miss Blake came upon her bending double over a volume +of the Encyclopaedia, and a glance showed her what article the girl was +studying. It was that headed "Scarlet fever." + +The book was shut with a clap, and Nan stalked off to replace it in the +book-case without a word. She came back in a moment, however, and +stood before Miss Blake like a grim young Fate, her dark eyes full of +care and worry. + +"See here! You've got to take something. There's no use fooling with +a sickness like that. Your cheeks are red, and I shouldn't wonder but +your throat is sore. When you came home you kind of went to pieces on +the hall chair, and I guess your head is aching this minute. I don't +say you've got scarlet fever, but--it looks mighty like it, that's all. +Now don't be scared. I'll take care of you. I can, you know, if I put +my mind to it." + +Miss Blake dared not hug her, though it was precisely what she longed +to do. She dared not laugh at her, either, for that would give lasting +offense when Nan was so deadly in earnest. What she did was to say +brightly, but in quite as off-hand and matter-of-fact way as the girl +herself had spoken: + +"I'm sure you could. But you see I am perfectly well. Honestly, I +haven't a pain nor an ache, and if my cheeks are still red it's because +the skin has been frost-nipped. I give you my word of honor I will go +to a doctor if I feel the slightest symptom." + +Her tone was so heartily sincere that Nan could not doubt her. She +drew a long breath of relief, as if a heavy load had been lifted from +her heart, and threw herself upon the lounge with a contented sigh. + +"Just think," she said. "Last night this time I didn't even know I was +going to have a party, and now it's all over and done with, and Ruth +and Louie want me to go skating with them to-morrow. It's been the +happiest Christmas I ever spent, with the exception of the Duffy part, +and I wish it could last forever." + +"I think some of it will," replied Miss Blake in her gentle voice, as +Delia came to light the lamps. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII + +ON THE ICE + +There was a great crowd on the lake. It was perfect skating weather, +and every one who had skates and could use them, had come to enjoy the +advantage of the first real ice of the season. The banks were thronged +with onlookers, and it was a great inspiration to the expert ones to +know that their performances would be watched and commended by such an +audience as this. + +"Goodness, girls! Did you ever see such a crush?" asked Louie +feverishly, hurrying her pace, as she, Nan, and Ruth neared the spot. + +"There won't be room to move," announced Nan, adding with a laugh, +"much less to fall down in." + +"All the better for me! I'll put on my skates and let the crowd push +me round. I'm never too sure of myself, but in a crush like this, one +can't go over, so I'm saved a heap of worry!" cried Ruth with a jolly +laugh. + +Nan's skates were on in a twinkling, and she longed with all her heart +to be off and away. But the sight of poor Louie, struggling vainly +with her refractory straps, kept her back. + +"Oh, do hurry," urged Ruth excitedly. + +"Did you ever see such contrary things?" gasped Louie, her cheeks +crimson with cold, and the exertion of bending double in her fur jacket. + +"Give them to me; I'll get them on in a jiffy," and Nan was down on her +knees and the skates secured before Louie had even time to thank her +with a look. + +"Now, do come on!" cried Ruth, fairly dancing with eagerness. + +"Oh, wait! wait! Please wait!" pleaded Louie. "This is the first time +I've been on the ice this year, and I feel so nervous I could scream." + +John Gardiner spun past with a nod and a flourish, but a moment later +wheeled about and came skimming up to where they were standing, saying +briskly: + +"Jolly day, isn't it? Ice in first-rate shape, too. Too many people, +but after a few of them get tired out it will be all right. Don't +suppose they'd care to stand aside and let us show them what skating +is, eh, Nan?" + +Nan laughed. "Perhaps they wouldn't like the figures we'd cut. I'm +not sure I would myself. Pride goes before a fall, and I'd rather be a +bit humble and keep on my feet." + +"As though you'd ever take a tumble," cried the young fellow with great +scorn. "Oh, I say, come along and let's do a turn or two, as we did on +the Steamer last year. Don't you remember what a rousing cheer we got? +Let's try it again." + +For an instant Nan's blood leaped. She liked to do daring things, and +she loved applause. John Gardiner was as much at home on his skates as +she was on hers, and they were singularly at ease together. Moreover, +way down in her heart was a sort of lurking pride at being especially +chosen by this favorite among the "fellows" and being seen with him in +his attractive suit and his graceful "Norwegians" that were the envy +and admiration of all the other fellows in town. It certainly was a +temptation, and for a moment Nan yielded to it. Then she looked at +Louie's anxious face and shook her head. + +"I'm heaps obliged," she said. "But I guess I'd better not to-day. It +wasn't much harm at the Steamer, for there was no crowd there to speak +of; but here it's so public, I'm afraid it wouldn't look well." + +John threw back his head and laughed. + +"As if you cared how things look!" he cried, frankly. + +Nan's cheeks reddened furiously. She looked down and drew a figure on +the ice with the tip of her skate. Her confusion could not escape him, +and he caught himself up instantly. "I mean, you've always been so +sensible, you know. You haven't cared for tattle or nonsense. That's +what's made us like you so. A fellow hasn't had to be on the continual +jump for fear your hat wasn't on straight or your hair was coming down. +You're as plucky as a boy, and it's like having another jolly, good +fellow about when you're around. You're not going back on all that? +You aren't going to turn girly-girly? You aren't going to be a Nancy, +are you?" + +She lifted her head with a jerk. "No; I'm going to stay plain Nan," +she retorted. "But I can't go out with you this morning, John--at +least not now. Later I may take a turn if you're willing." + +He saw that there was no shaking her resolution, and turned away with a +frown and a sigh. + +"Very well. If you won't, you won't. I'll look you up by and by, +though, and maybe you'll have changed your mind by then," and he was +off like a flash, his flying feet seeming scarcely to touch the ice, +and his long, curved, glistening skates flashing back the sunlight from +their dazzling nickel blades. + +Louie clutched Nan's arm. "Oh, I'm so glad you didn't go!" she said, +agitatedly. "I'm all of a tremble, and I'm sure I'll slip if you don't +hold on to me." + +So Nan held on to her, and slowly piloted her this way and that, urging +her gently to strike out alone, and patiently waiting until she had the +courage to try. Ruth darted hither and thither, minding it as little +when she went down herself as when she was the cause of others doing +so, and always skating with an awkward energy that was refreshing to +behold. + +"O Nan!" panted Louie, "how did you learn?" + +"By getting up whenever I fell down," declared Nan, succinctly. + +Ruth came toward them with arms flying like windmills. + +"O girls!" she gasped; but just here her feet went from under her, and +she sat squarely upon the ice with a great plump. "O girls!" she +repeated, not a bit abashed and without trying to get up, "Mary +Brewster and Grace are over there, and they just asked John to take +them out--at least Mary did--and he said he was ever so sorry, but his +'card was full,' and they are simply furious." + +"Get up!" commanded Nan, with lips that would twitch in spite of her +efforts to control them. "You'll catch your death of cold!" + +Ruth grasped her outstretched hand and struggled to her feet. "How are +you getting on, Lu?" she asked, shaking the snow from her skirts. + +"I think I'm doing a little better. Don't you, Nan?" appealed Louie, +tremulously. + +"Why, yes. You'll skate as well as any one after you've once gained +courage," Nan returned cheerfully, and took up the slow, tedious task +again of steering her laboriously this way and that, Louie meanwhile +clinging to her arm and uttering little panic-stricken shrieks that +irritated Nan beyond measure. No one could conceive how hard it was +for the girl not to desert her clinging companion. She knew in her +heart that Louie would never master the knack unless she were made to +rely upon herself. As long as she could depend on Nan's support she +would not make any effort to use her own energy, nor would she exert +her will-power to force herself to strike out alone. The ice was in +perfect condition to-day, but it would not long remain so with such a +crowd cutting it to pieces, and the sun already thawing the powdered +snow and threatening to do more damage to-morrow. If Nan lost her +chance now she might not have another so good in weeks to come, for the +weather was always uncertain and the holidays were short. Everything +seemed to urge her to break loose from her self-imposed martyrdom and +go her way rejoicing; the crisp air that sang in her ears and filled +her with a sense of glorious exhilaration; the shimmering sunlight on +the ice that seemed to scud before her and invite her to join in the +race; the knowledge that she was in reality doing Louie a doubtful +service by staying beside her, and, last of all, the look of +disappointment in John's eyes as he shot past them at intervals, and +saw that Nan was not yet ready to capitulate. A sort of war with +herself was waging in her mind; her sense of duty against her +preferences; her long established habits against her newly found +resolutions. She had resolved to be like other girls in the future. +It was like headlong, impulsive Nan to make a resolve like this, and +never stop to realize that it was only the exaggeration of herself that +proved objectionable; that it would be as impossible for her to be +sedate and silent and serious as for a dashing dandelion to become a +dainty buttercup. + +To her it seemed as if Miss Blake and the rest--were demanding of her +just such a metamorphosis and she had been trying--she really had--to +recast herself in the mold she thought they exacted. And now here came +John Gardiner, surely the nicest and most mannerly young fellow she +knew, and the one whom even Miss Blake was pleased to call "a perfect +gentleman"--here came John Gardiner, and told her that her despised +characteristics were precisely the ones that made her valuable. She +shook her head. It was no use; she could not understand. + +"O Nan!" cried Louie, shunting along clumsily by her side and clutching +her arm in desperation. "Won't you please get me over to the shore? +I'm all tired out. I guess I'll go in for a bit and warm up and get +rested, and then I'll come out again, may be, and take another try." + +Nan assented with alacrity. + +"You've made a pretty good beginning," she said with new encouragement +in her voice. + +"Oh, it's always the same!" wailed Louie. "Year before last I got so I +could do it quite respectably, and then last year I had to learn all +over again. I really thought I'd pick it up where I left off this +year, but you see how it is! The very sight of the ice when I'm on +skates makes me quake." + +"Just force yourself to do it and you'll be surprised to see how soon +you'll be skimming all over creation," advised Nan, as she unfastened +her friend's skates and saw her start stiffly up the path to the Lodge. + +Her heart gave a bound as she realized that she was at last alone and +untrammeled. She pulled her Russian cap well into place, thrust her +hands deep into her pockets, and set out for the middle of the lake, +her lithe young body swaying gently forward as she was carried this way +and that by her gliding feet. She looked about for John, but he was +nowhere to be seen, and she concluded that he had given up expecting +her and had either gone home or joined other friends. Ruth was forging +about after her own peculiar fashion, getting in every one's way and +under every one's feet, and enjoying it all immensely. She was +perfectly self-reliant, and Nan did not feel that there was any +necessity of offering assistance or even companionship to such a +self-sufficient, resolute maiden, and so she set about enjoying her +independence with a clear conscience. A moment later she had forgotten +everything but the keen delight of the delicious exercise; the fresh +current of air upon her cheeks; the sense of flashing through space +"without any appreciable effort; the knowledge of her mastery of the +art. She had not a shadow of fear. Instead, she felt a sort of wild +exultation in her own daring, and set about doing difficult feats with +an added delight in the very risk of the thing. Suddenly a shadow shot +toward her from the back, caught her by the arm and went flying +forward, suiting his rhythm to hers in an instant. + +"Oh! heyo, John! I thought you'd gone home!" said Nan. + +"Not a bit of it. Think I'd leave the ice when it's as prime as this? +Not much. What under the canopy have you been about all this time? +Toting Lou Hawes around when you ought to be making the best of the +rarest chance you'll get this season, maybe?" + +"Oh, that's all right," rejoined Nan in a matter-of-fact way. "I liked +to do it--for a change. And she's a little timid." + +"Well now, you're free, let's have a couple of extra good turns just to +make up for lost time," and he took her hand and started off on a fine, +free swing, Nan gliding beside him in such perfect accord that it +seemed as if one impulse moved them both. They swung apart rejoined, +and swung apart again. Then, dropping her hand John gave a curving +glide to the right which took him a pace ahead of her, and she, +repeating his movement, but toward the left, passed easily before him +on the other side, so on and on in a sort of progressive chain, until +at a sign they sped backward, reversing the order in which they had +come, and reached the starting point and circled round it, clasping +crossed hands and chatting gayly the while. + +John saw that they had already attracted some attention, and it only +made his pulses quicken. He also saw that Nan was oblivious to +everything, but the mere delight of what she was doing, and he did not +think it worth while to remind her that this was not the Steamer, and +that if she wished to be inconspicuous, as she had suggested, she would +better limit herself strictly to a commonplace gait. Instead he bent +toward her, and said in a quick, low undertone, "I'll bet a quarter +you've forgotten how to cut your name." + +"Oh, have I?" cried Nan, the spur pricking sharply at her pride. "Want +to see me do it?" and off she went accordingly, accomplishing the +difficult figure without a thought of hesitation, and returning to his +side laughing and triumphant. + +"Now the spiral! Forward! Left foot first! Now right! Combination!" + +John gave the directions in a sort of tense whisper. He was mortally +afraid Nan would become conscious, and see what was going on about her. +But he might have spared himself the trouble. She was absolutely blind +to the crowd that had gathered about them, and all the commendation she +was aware of was that which he gave her in a murmured "Good!" or "Fine!" + +A wide circle had been cleared for them, and in it they and one or two +other hardy souls were exhibiting their prowess, while the throng +outside whispered and applauded and made comments on the different +skaters and their respective skill and grace. + +"There! That's the serpentine he's doing now! Isn't it pretty?" + +"It must be frightfully hard to go backward like that!" + +"I should think he'd fall on his head!" + +"Look! See! She's starting off again! Doesn't she do it well?" + +"Who is she, anyway?" + +Nan had completed her figure, and was waiting at the edge of the circle +for John to finish his and to come and join her. She stood well back, +so that she might not interfere with the others, and thus it was that +she was waked from her trance with an abrupt shock by the sound of two +whispering voices, seeming almost at her ear, their murmur carried so +in the chill, crystal air. + +"Didn't I tell you she was a bold thing?" + +"Sh! She'll hear you! She's right in front of us--only those men +between." + +"No she won't, either. We're too far away. Didn't I tell you Lu's and +Ruth's friendship was for one night only? I knew well enough why Lu +asked her to come. Any one could see through that. She wants to learn +how to skate, and this was as ready a way as any to be taught, and she +jumps at the chance." + +"Oh, do hush! She'll hear!" + +"Don't care if she does. I don't know what your opinion is, but mine +is that it's positively brazen of her to do such things before a crowd +like this. Dragging John Gardiner into it, too! It's a disgrace!" + +"Sh, please! There he comes!" + +Nan pulled herself wearily forward a step or two to meet him. + +"I say, what's up? What's the matter?" he demanded anxiously, looking +into her face and seeing the change it had undergone. + +"Nothing! Nothing!" she reassured him quickly. "I'm tired, that's +all. And I didn't realize these people were watching us. Let's get +out of this. I hate the way they stare. I want to go home." + +John took her by the elbow and steered for the bank. + +"Won't you find Grace and Louie first? You came with them, didn't you? +They won't know what's become of you." + +"I don't care! I want to go home!" she repeated irritably. + +They sped forward silently, and in a moment had reached the shore. Nan +trembled so as she tried to unfasten her skates that John pushed her +hands aside and made her submit to having him assist her. + +"You've caught cold!" he said remorsefully, "I was a brute to keep +urging you on. But I didn't dream you were tired. You looked so +bright and well." + +"I'm not tired. I haven't caught cold!" said Nan. "Don't bother about +me, please. Go back and finish up your skate!" + +"Thank you kindly, ma'am," rejoined he, removing his own skates. "But +I've finished it up already," and he grasped her arm and tramped her +off in the direction of the Park entrance with vigorous steps. + +"Won't Lou and Ruth wonder?" he ventured again after a moment of +silence. + +"No! They don't care!" cried Nan, dismally. + +"The mischief they don't!" and John gave vent to an exclamation of +disbelief. "Why, Ruth was only telling me half an hour ago how good and +generous you were, and Louie caught me in the Lodge and went into regular +spasms over you. You're the patientest, the generousest--everythingelse-est +girl she knows. I had actually to tear myself away from her raptures when I +saw that you were free of her and could take a turn with me." + +Nan shook her head. + +"No, you're wrong, John!" she said hopelessly. "They don't like me. +None of them do. It's no use. I thought Christmas eve I might make +them, perhaps--but I give it up. I'm too--different!" + +"Now, see here, Nan!" cried John, stopping suddenly in the middle of +the path and confronting her squarely, "this change of base has come on +you all of a sudden. You weren't in such a state before. You've seen +something or heard something that's given you a turn. Say now, haven't +you, honestly?" + +Nan gulped and nodded grimly. + +"I thought so. Well, now, you say you're different from the other +girls, and so you are in most ways, but just at present you're doing +the silliest trick I know. Going off by yourself and making people +miserable all around. Do you know what a fellow would do in your +place? Why, he'd go straight to the man he'd heard or seen back-biting +him and he'd make him come out fair and square and own up--or shut up. +'You pays your money and you takes your choice.' That's what a fellow +would do. But girls prefer to be martyrs and go about 'letting +concealment prey upon their damask cheeks' and all that namby-pamby +nonsense. Pshaw! I wouldn't give a rush for a girl's courage. It's +all humbug." + +"It isn't any such thing!" cried Nan, hastening to defend her sex. "It +isn't because I'm afraid that I don't go straight up to the--the +person. It's because I have too much pride. I wouldn't demean myself +by letting her know I care." + +"Oh, fudge! Pride! I like that! Care? Why, whoever she is, she can +see that, anyhow, with half an eye. It's as plain as preaching. You +came with Lu and Ruth, and were as gay and jolly as could be. Then, +all of a sudden, you turn grumpy and want to go home, and say Lu and +Ruth don't like you. The explanation of that is simple enough. You've +heard some one saying something about you, or pretending to repeat +something Lu and Ruth have said about you. There! Now haven't I hit +the nail on the head?" + +Nan made no reply. + +"I wager I have, though," continued the young fellow, watching her +closely, and drawing many of his conclusions from the evidence of her +tell-tale face. "And I'd be ashamed, even if I were a girl, to let +myself be worried by a thing like that. Besides, it isn't fair to Lu +and Ruth. You ought to give them a chance to set themselves straight. +You've no right to believe things of them till you've their own word +for it that it's true. Give them a chance, and if they act queer you +can throw them over." + +"But I can't ask them," burst out Nan. "It wasn't anything they said. +It was about the way they feel, and if I give them a chance they may +throw me over." + +John laughed. "True for you. They may. But anyway, you'd have done +the just thing. Whatever they did to you, you'd have played fair." + +Nan thought a moment. Suddenly she turned on her heel and began to +retrace her steps. "I'm going back," she said, stoutly, "to find Lu +and Ruth! and--and--give them that chance." + +"There! Now you're behaving like an honest man," announced John, with +gusto. "One can't afford to be too perpendicular." + +But before they had taken a dozen steps they came upon the two girls +themselves, running breathlessly toward them. + +"O Nan!" panted Louie. "What is the matter? Are you sick? Are you +hurt? We couldn't find you anywhere!" + +"We looked all over and got terribly nervous, and at last Mary Brewster +told us you had gone home," Ruth broke in, gaspingly. + +"She said John had taken you, and that you kind of walked as if you +were dizzy or something. We've run all the way! Do say, are you +sick?" pleaded Louie. + +"Or hurt?" articulated Ruth. + +John and Nan regarded each other solemnly for a moment. Then they both +broke into a peal of laughter. Nan was the first to speak. + +"No, I'm not sick and I wasn't hurt--the way you mean. I was a +goose--that's all. I want you to forgive me." + +"What for?" demanded the girls, in a breath. + +"Why, for--for--making you run after me," replied Nan. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV + +CHANGES + +"Let's go back after luncheon," suggested Ruth as they tramped homeward. + +The others assented heartily enough, and Nan was so eager to return to +her sport that she did not wait for Delia to let her in at the upper +door, but burst through the basement way, and ran against Miss Blake in +the lower hall. + +"Oh, excuse me!" she panted. "We've had a glorious time. We're going +out again. Please may I have a bite of something quick, so I can run? +We want to make the most of the daylight, and Lu can almost go alone." + +"Certainly. Delia has everything on the table. But won't you want to +run upstairs and give your face and hands a little scrub?" + +Nan's forehead wrinkled, and she was on the point of uttering an +exclamation of disgust. But she caught herself up, and pressing her +lips together hard, flew upstairs without a word of protest. She +finished her luncheon in marvelously quick time. + +"If you wish to go you may be excused," her companion announced, as the +last crumb was swallowed. A gleam of surprise lit upon Nan's face. + +"Thank you," she said, and went her way feeling more contented with +herself than she had done in many a long day. + +It was late when she returned, and not finding Miss Blake in any other +part of the house, she went to the governess' room and tapped on the +door for admittance, a thing she had never done before, from pure +perversity and a determination not to "let any person suppose she cared +to see them when she didn't have to." + +Miss Blake herself opened the door to her and invited her to "step into +her parlor," most cordially, adding: + +"I'm just having my afternoon tea. Won't you take a cup with me?" + +At first Nan could scarcely find voice to reply, so strange did she +feel in this altered room. When she had last seen it it was bare and +cold and comfortless, and now-- + +The windows were draped with inner curtains of dainty Swiss. Hangings +of some soft, pale green stuff hung before them and in all the +doorways. The bed was shoved into a far corner of the room, and where +it had once been, against the wall, a low bookcase now stood, +displaying rows of tempting books upon its well-laden shelves, and +above them delicate bits of bric-à-brac. A rug covered the centre of +the floor. The ugly mantel-shelf was hidden from sight by an Oriental +scarf, and upon it stood all manner of odd and curious trifles. The +shabby lounge was covered by a fine old rug and piled with cushions, +while beside it stood the quaint stand and brass tray that Nan had +feasted from when her foot was lame; only now it held a brightly +burnished alcohol kettle, out of which steam was issuing in the most +hospitable fashion possible. Here also were dainty cups and saucers, +and here it was that Miss Blake brewed her tea after she had led her +guest to a chair and helped her remove her cap and coat with all the +solicitude of a veritable hostess. + +"Well, how has the day gone?" asked she, trying not to betray her +amusement at Nan's obvious amazement. + +"Oh, finely! We had a jolly good time. Lu can go alone now. John and +I took her out and simply made her skate. Ruth goes floundering about +like a seal, and every one laughs at her, but she's so good-natured she +doesn't mind, and one can't help liking her. Such a funny thing +happened. + +"We were standing still for a minute waiting for Lu to catch her +breath, and all at once we saw Ruth coming galloping toward us in her +ridiculous way. A big, fat man was skating in the other direction, but +nowhere near her, and we didn't notice him particularly till she veered +suddenly off and crashed straight into him, without any excuse at all, +just hurled into him plump, and bowled him square over. It was the +most deliberate thing I ever saw. She had gone out of her way to do +it, but, of course, she didn't mean to. They both went crashing down +with such a thump I thought it would break the ice, and as he went over +he said: 'Good gracious!' in the mildest, funniest voice you ever +heard. John hurried off and helped him up, and I got Ruth on her feet +again, all covered with snow, and as mortified as could be, but choking +with laughter. The man looked worried, and we asked him if he was +hurt. He said, 'No! Oh, no indeed!' and then he turned to Ruth with +the most embarrassed sort of apologetic smile--just as if he had been +to blame. + +"'I'm so sorry!' he stammered. 'It is the strangest thing how it could +have occurred. I thought you were over there. I really thought I was +in no one's way. Oh, would you mind telling me--a--what I said when +I--a--fell?' + +"Lu was swallowing her pocket-handkerchief to keep from laughing out, +and I know I was grinning. + +"Why, I think you said, 'Good gracious!'" said Ruth, shakily. + +"'Oh, thank, you!' the man cried, looking ever so much relieved. 'I +thought I said 'Good gracious,' but I--I wasn't sure. I'm very glad!' +and he shambled off as if he were lamed for life, poor thing, while +Ruth and Lu and John and I simply rocked with laughter. And now when +anything happens John says 'Good gracious!' in the mildest tone, and +then goes on, 'What did I say? Oh, thank you. I thought I said "Good +gracious," but I wasn't sure!'" and Nan broke into a chuckle at the +mere recollection of the thing. Miss Blake laughed in sympathy, and +she and Nan drank their tea and nibbled their wafers in the most +amicable fashion possible, talking over, not alone the pleasant +experiences, but also that which had threatened to spoil Nan's day, the +remembrance of which made her shudder even now. + +She repeated the incident to Miss Blake, concluding with: + +"I don't care what they think!" + +"John was right," declared Miss Blake, "and you did what was brave and +just. But don't give up trying to win Mary's and Grace's good opinion, +Nan. I want you to be respected and loved, and you can be, if you will +only be as true to yourself as you are to your friends. You were not +satisfied to let Lu and Ruth rest under a false accusation this +morning. Neither should you be satisfied to let yourself. Prove to +Mary and Grace that you are neither bold nor brazen. Force them to see +that you are kind and lovable and courageous." + +"Oh, dear! How can I?" despaired Nan. + +"Why, simply by being so," declared Miss Blake. + +Nan fell silent, and then, when Miss Blake was just beginning to wonder +what new caprice her guest had fallen victim to, she broke out +impetuously: + +"Oh, I say Miss Blake! it is just festive in here. I never saw +anything that began to be so pretty." + +It was genuine praise, and Miss Blake really flushed with gratification +as she replied: + +"Thank you, Nan. I think myself it is cozy, and I am very happy if my +little nest pleases you. It is a very simple one. I am my own +upholsterer and my own decorator, so I have a special reason to value +any praise of my small domain. You must come often if you like it +here, for I love to play hostess to so appreciative a guest!" + +Nan settled back among the cushions with a contented sigh. + +"I wish," she said presently, "I wish the rest of the house looked this +way." + +"If you really would like to make some changes, Nan, I will do my best. +What there is in the house is good and substantial, and with a little +alteration could be made to serve very well." + +Nan looked up eagerly. + +"Oh, let's try and fix up the house, for father's coming home. Mr. +Turner will give us some money to pay for repairs, I guess--he always +does when pipes burst and things. Won't it be jolly to watch father's +face when he comes in and sees it all so pretty here? Poor old papa! +Mr. Turner says he may come in the fall, and so we'll have all the +summer to work and plan in, and then when he's here, won't we have a +jubilation, Miss Blake?" + +The governess stooped to pick up a pin, and she did not reply. Then +she rose and carried the tea-cups and plates to the washstand, where +she began rinsing them carefully. + +"When your father comes home I shall not be here, you know," she said +simply; "but you will be very happy together, and I am sure he would +enjoy a pretty home!" + +The radiance in Nan's face faded suddenly. The same dull pain was at +her heart that she had felt and shrunk from yesterday. Only now it did +not pass away, and all the evening she seemed to be haunted by a +peculiar sense of impending misfortune. It was as though she had been +reminded of some unhappy occasion that she had tried to forget. Every +once in a while after that, when she saw Miss Blake laboriously toiling +to renovate some dilapidated piece of furniture, or heard her +discussing with Delia the remaining possibilities of this carpet or +that pair of curtains, she felt an almost uncontrollable desire to cry +out--so sharp was the sudden sting of regret that bit at her +conscience--and so keen the pain that pierced her heart. + +Miss Blake left her to enjoy her holidays in perfect freedom, but as +soon as they were spent the books were brought out again and lessons +resumed as strictly as if the discipline of an entire school depended +on it. + +But study had grown to have no terrors for Nan, and she was not at all +aware of the thorough course she was being put through, because it was +all accomplished in such an unobtrusive fashion. Miss Blake had a +system of her own which she put into practice, and the girl followed +her unconsciously with an interest that showed how wise an one it was. +Latin and mathematics proved the most troublesome of the tasks, and +would perhaps have led to some serious differences of opinion if Miss +Blake had not confessed herself at the start "rusty" in these +particular branches and suggested that they "go over them together." + +"I really never was very strong in either of them, and it will do me +good to review," she explained. + +So, spurred on by the thought of competition, Nan did her best; went +through the declensions with a rush, and quite outstripped her +fellow-student in the matter of algebraic problems. + +History was always simple enough with Miss Blake to make it seem like +the most dramatic of romances, and the girl discovered a fresh interest +in the Roman heroes when the scenes of their exploits was so +graphically described to her, and when she could build up the ancient +city for herself by the aid of Miss Blake's admirable photographs of +the present. + +"It seems to me you have done more traveling than any one I ever knew!" +exclaimed the girl for the hundredth time one day. + +"It has been all I had to do," rejoined the governess wistfully. "For +many, many years I have had nothing else. But now all that is changed, +and--as it is half-past one, and I hear Delia coming up to announce +luncheon, I'll dismiss my class, and declare school over for to-day." + +"That is always the way," mused Nan, "whenever I refer to her and try +to start her telling about herself she veers off and talks of something +else. Queer about her traveling so much, though. I wonder how she +came to do it--when she's so poor. She never said straight out she was +some one's companion, and I don't think a governess would be taken all +over the globe like that." + +While the ice lasted Nan had many a good hour upon her skates. Miss +Blake too donned hers, and at these times the tables were turned and +Nan became the patient teacher, the governess the obedient pupil. + +"My ankles are weak," pleaded the pupil in apology for persistent +failure. + +"Exercise 'em and they'll grow strong!" declared the intrepid +instructor in peremptory tones. + +"It's no use, I can't reverse, Nan!" + +"Pooh! 'Never say can't till you've proved that the task is +impossible,'" quoted Nan, with a gleam of mischief in her eyes. + +"You're real mean, so there!" responded Miss Blake in return with such +a good imitation of her own querulous tone that the girl burst into a +shout of laughter, and the two started off again to make another, +perhaps futile attempt, at the difficult feat, until, by the latter +part of the winter, Miss Blake acquitted herself so creditably that her +teacher regarded her with pardonable pride, and declared, + +"There, now! You ought to be 'all primmed up with majestick pride.' +You skate as well as anybody now, and you've got rid of every particle +of nervousness." + +There were many things beside skating that the governess set herself to +accomplish during these months, and Mrs. Newton often took her to task +for working so hard. + +"You are beginning to look completely fagged. Do let the house go. +What do you fret over it for? If Nan wants alterations, why not let +Mr. Turner engage competent people to do the work? You have +responsibility enough without planning and overseeing all these +improvements." + +But Miss Blake only shook her obstinate little head and continued to +discuss ways and means with Mr. Turner and Delia and to direct the +workmen, who presently took possession of the house, and made it seem +like a Bedlam into which order could never be restored. + +"Oh, that's fine!" cried Nan, clapping her hands when she heard of the +governess' plans. "That hall closet was no good anyhow. Delia only +kept her brooms and dust-cloths there, and it's just the place for a +dumb-waiter. But if we turn the library into a dining-room, what are +you going to do with the books?" + +"The best of them can be put on low shelves along the parlor walls, and +we'll take the rest upstairs and make a sort of cozy study of the front +room for your father." + +"Splendid!" cried Nan. + +For weeks the place was in a turmoil. Carpets were taken up, some of +them never to go down again, curtains were unhung, cleaned and folded +carefully away, and when the coast was clear the work of remodelling +began in earnest. + +It seemed to Nan as if it would never come to an end, but little by +little things began to assume a more promising aspect, and at length +the last lingering workman dragged himself reluctantly away, and then +Delia descended upon the place, armed with scrubbing-brush and pail, +and waged a mighty war upon every spot of dust or paint anywhere to be +found. + +The parlor had been freshly papered, and its walls no longer frowned +gloomily down upon the inoffensive guest, but seemed to cast a faint, +rosy smile at the redecorated hall and the new dining-room beyond. +Miss Blake stripped away every vestige of tarletan, and let the fine +oil paintings display themselves unveiled to the public eye. + +"We can have the windows screened if we are afraid of flies," she said +as she folded away the unsightly shrouds, and Delia echoed, "Why, so we +can!" in the promptest assent, and as though it had been her own idea +all along. + +The draperies were of the simplest sort, but Nan thought them +perfection. She fairly danced with delight as she fancied her father's +face when he should see his altered home. He would never recognize in +this attractive, tasteful room the old, gloomy parlor of former days. + +The furniture was drawn out of its martial line and placed here and +there in inviting positions by loving, artful hands. Various pieces +were banished altogether, and where this chair or that had grown shabby +Miss Blake renewed its usefulness by covering it over with some odd +material that harmonized nicely with the old-fashioned shape of the +frame and the tone of the rest of the room. + +A simple fireplace had been set in the blind chimney-piece, in which +were placed grandma's graceful andirons, buried so long in the attic +that Nan had never seen them, while the old mantel-shelf in the library +was torn out altogether and a stately new one put in its stead, and in +this too was a place for wood and fire-dogs. The two French windows +leading into the glass extension were transformed into doorways, and +gave pleasant vistas of a blooming conservatory, into which the south +sun shone genially the best part of the day. + +Louie and Ruth came in on a special visit of inspection when the work +was all completed, and it did not detract from Nan's enjoyment to hear +them say that they thought the house one of the prettiest they had ever +seen. + +"It has such a fresh, comfortable look," exclaimed Louie. + +"As if you lived in every part of it and enjoyed it yourself, and +wanted other people to enjoy it with you," added Ruth. + +"So we do," declared Nan; "that's just what we do. Isn't it, Miss +Blake?" + +And Miss Blake nodded a smiling assent, though she knew quite well that +until very lately Nan had never thought about the matter at all. She +had taken her home for granted, and it never had occurred to her to try +to improve it in any wise. But the governess had had more in mind than +the mere indulging of the girl's fancy when she set about rearranging +the place. As in most of her characteristic schemes there was "a +method in her madness." Nan soon discovered that a dainty home brought +its obligations with it. + +"Do you notice," said Miss Blake one day, "that since the household +arrangements have been altered there has been a good deal more work to +be done?" + +"Why, I don't know," rejoined Nan; "why should there be?" + +"Because all these bits of bric-à-brac we have set about must be dusted +every day, and because throwing the parlor open, as we do, makes +another room to look after. Then the plants in the conservatory should +be carefully tended if we want them to live, and Delia has to take +double the steps she used to take when we ate in the basement. Really, +Nan, as things stand, I feel the work is going to be too hard for her." + +"Dear me! Whatever are we going to do?" demanded the girl anxiously. + +"Simply, she must have help." + +"You mean another servant?" + +"No, not that. I cannot increase the household expenses in such a way +without your father's knowledge and approval. What we have done now is +almost more than I dare think of. My only comfort is that it has come +out of your money." + +Nan gave a start. "My money!" she exclaimed. "Why, I never knew I had +any. Goodness! tell me about it." + +"There is nothing to tell. Simply, some one who owed your mother a +debt and was unable to discharge it during her lifetime, has paid in a +certain part of it to Mr. Turner for your benefit--or so he tells me. +Both he and I thought it wise to use it in this way. The house is +virtually yours, and unless you improve it from time to time it will +decrease in value. We both felt that since you wished it, and since it +might be looked upon in the light of protecting your property, we might +safely lay out the money as we have done without first consulting your +father." + +"Oh, I'm glad," cried Nan. "I didn't want him to know. It'll be all +the bigger surprise to him when he comes home. But what are we going +to do about Delia?" + +"That is what I want you to tell me," rejoined Miss Blake. + +"I?" queried the girl. "Why, I'm sure I don't know what we can do, +unless we hire another girl--and you say father can't afford that." + +"Now, Nan, listen to me," said Miss Blake, seriously, drawing her chair +to the girl's, and emphasizing her words by laying her hand upon hers +and tapping it gently whenever a point was made. "Let us put the +matter quite plainly, and see if we can't come to a conclusion that +will both help Delia and save us the trouble of engaging another maid. +One pair of hands can't do the work in this house! You admit that?" + +"Yes; I s'pose so," conceded Nan. + +"Well then, obviously, we must secure the aid of another pair--perhaps +even two." + +"Uh-huh!" assented the girl cheerfully enough. + +"Not only that, we must secure the aid of another pair, if not two, at +no additional expense to your father." + +Here Nan's head began to drop. "That's what floors me," she responded +perplexedly. "The rest is easy enough to settle; but how in the world +we are going to get people to work for us for nothing--" + +"What are those things in your lap, Nan?" asked the governess suddenly +with a quick smile and an extra tap of the finger on the girl's palm. + +"My hands, of course." + +"Why shouldn't they be the pair we need? I cordially offer the use of +mine." + +"Oh!" + +Nan's face was rather blank. "I hate housework," she added, and her +mouth drew down at the corners in a pout of petulance. + +"I doubt if any one really cares for it. But it must be done, and in +this case you and I must consent to do it, at least in part. Now that +you have looked the facts in the face, let us say no more about it, +after we have settled just what we prefer to do. I have always taken +care of my own room. Will you see to yours after this?" + +"I s'pose so. + +"Then there is the dusting and the plants." + +"I'll take the plants," Nan hastened to declare. + +"And the dishes on Mondays and Tuesdays?" continued Miss Blake. + +There was a pause. + +"If there's one thing I despise it's washing dishes," cried the girl, +her voice trembling with irritation. + +The governess looked down at her own two delicate little hands and +seemed to be considering. Then she raised her head quickly, and said, +without a shade of resentment in her voice: + +"Very well then, dear, I'll take the dishes. So here is the way it +stands: You care for the plants and your own room and I'll look after +my room and do the dusting and the dishes." + +"You'll have more to do than I," hesitated Nan. + +"No matter; if you do your share well, and don't neglect it, I am +willing to stand by my part. Is it a bargain?" + +Nan nodded grimly, and they shook hands upon it. + + + + +CHAPTER XV + +A TUG OF WAR + +"Is Nan in?" asked Ruth, coming to the house one day in the very teeth +of a blinding snowstorm, and putting the question to Delia with a very +decided note of excitement in her voice. + +"Yes, she's in; but she's pretty busy," replied Delia, showing the +guest into the dining-room, where the bright logs were blazing +cheerfully in the fireplace, and where Miss Blake, enveloped in a huge +apron, was kneeling before the hearth and polishing its tiles till they +shone like gems. She stopped to welcome the guest in her own hearty, +informal fashion. + +"O Ruth! come in and sit down. I wondered who could be brave enough to +face a storm like this. Why, it is almost a blizzard. Take off your +things, dear, and get warmed. You won't mind my going on with my work?" + +"Oh, no! not at all. Please don't stop. Thank you. This is as +comfortable as can be. But then, one always is comfortable here. I +came to see Nan about something important. She's busy?" + +"Yes, in her room. But if you don't mind waiting a little I think she +will soon be able to come down," responded the governess genially. + +"Then I'll sit here, if you don't mind," and the girl settled herself +in an engulfing armchair with a sigh of satisfaction, her eyes +following Miss Blake from place to place as she tripped briskly about, +energetically wielding her dust cloth and whisk broom and humming +contentedly as she worked. + +"Perhaps you won't approve of the plan that I've got in my mind, and +won't let Nan go into it," ventured Ruth, presently. + +"I can't fancy you suggesting anything that I would so seriously +disapprove of as that," returned Miss Blake, smiling kindly, but asking +for no further enlightenment on the subject than her guest was inclined +to give of her own accord. + +"Well, then, it's this: If the cold weather lasts we'll have elegant +sleighing, with all this snow, and I want to hire a sleigh, just any +common old thing will do, and fill it with straw, and all of us girls +and boys go off on a screamingly fine sleigh-ride. If it clears we'll +have a full moon, and I think it would just be the jolliest thing in +the world. Now please say Nan can go. She'll love to I know, and she +always makes things snap so," pleaded the girl, fixing her eyes on Miss +Blake's face with a peculiar intensity of expression. + +The governess hesitated. + +"Oh, please say she can," reiterated Ruth. + +"My dear Ruth, I can't say anything until I know more of the matter. +You say you girls and boys are to go. What girls and boys do you mean?" + +"Why, Lu and Grace and Mary and the Buckstone girls, of course; and +John Gardiner and Harley Morris and Everett Webster, and oh! all those +fellows--the ones in our set; you've met them all." + +"And is there to be no grown woman in the party--no chaperone?" +suggested Miss Blake. + +Ruth looked down and began picking a thread from the thumb of her glove. + +"Oh, of course; mamma wouldn't let me go unless there was a chaperone," +she replied after a moment, but tamely, with the ring all faded out of +her voice. + +"No, I am sure she would not," the governess remarked dryly. + +"I thought of you at once," Ruth began again with an upward glance that +however did not meet Miss Blake's eye. "But then we all thought that +it would be too much to ask of you--to ride all those miles with a +noisy crowd in the cold and night, and--so on, and so--so--just before +I came here I ran into Mrs. Cole and asked her to chaperone us, and she +said she would." + +The governess laid her duster on a chair, and unbuttoned her apron very +deliberately. + +"Mrs. Cole," she repeated half-aloud, as if speaking to herself, and +her tone had something in it that seemed to call for some sort of +justification from Ruth. + +"You know she's just been married, and she's as full of fun as she can +be. And she likes a good time immensely, and loves to be with us +girls, and it won't bore her a bit to go, and it's ever so much better +to have her than--than--some one who wouldn't enjoy it, you know." + +"Is Mr. Cole to be of the party?" Miss Blake inquired, still with that +odd inflection. + +"Why, no," responded Ruth, twisting her handkerchief into a hard knot. +"There won't be room for him. But Mrs. Cole said it didn't matter in +the least. She says she often goes off and leaves him, and he has just +as nice a time sitting home with his cigar and a book or something." + +"They have been married, I think, three months," Miss Blake commented +half to herself. + +"Yes, about," replied Ruth. "And Mrs. Cole is just as gay and jolly as +she ever was. You may think that it isn't very dignified for a married +woman to--" + +"Oh! my dear Ruth," interrupted the governess hastily, "I am not +disparaging Mrs. Cole, and I have no right to express an opinion +concerning her conduct, but I think--yes, I am quite sure that I prefer +Nan not to join your party." + +Ruth jumped from her chair with a cry of protest: "O Miss Blake! Don't +say that! Think of it, we're going to drive down as far as Howe's and +have a supper and it will be such fun. We want Nan awfully. She's +just the best company in the world, and if she doesn't go it will +be--well, it will be too bad. Do please say she may." + +Miss Blake shook her head somewhat sadly. "I can't say so, Ruth. +There are special reasons why Nan ought not to go--reasons that I can +only explain to her, but which I am sure she will understand. You +other girls have your mothers, but Nan has none, and that means that +she has no protector, now that her father is absent, unless I can stand +in such a relation to her. Believe me, I do not voluntarily deny Nan +any pleasure, but there are some instances in which I must." + +"But it's going to be perfectly proper," Ruth insisted, almost in +tears. "You don't think my mother would let me go if it wasn't going +to be perfectly proper, do you, Miss Blake?" + +The governess stood before the fire and rested her arm on the high +mantel-shelf, tapping the fender lightly with the toe of her slipper. +At Ruth's question she turned her head quickly from the flames toward +the girl with a compassionate smile. + +"No," she hastened to declare, "I am sure your mother would not let you +go to anything that she knew to be in any respect not altogether as it +should be." + +There was just the shade of an emphasis on the word knew--just the +merest breath of a pause before it. Miss Blake gazed frankly and +fearlessly into the girl's eyes as she spoke, and Ruth's lids dropped +suddenly as if she had been trying to look at the sun and it had +blinded her. + +There was a pause and in it they could distinctly hear Nan's feet going +to and fro on the floor above their heads, and her sharp young voice +shouting the chorus of some tuneless popular air, in her own perfectly +cheerful, earless fashion. + +"Oh, Miss Blake, please!" quavered Ruth. + +If she had known the governess as well as Nan did she would have known +that it was worse than useless to "tease." As it was, she was aware of +some force here that did not appear in her own easy-going mother, and +unconsciously she bowed to it--but even as she did so she gave a last +wail of entreaty from pure force of habit. + +"Please, Miss Blake!" + +"No, Ruth. I can't consent to Nan's joining you. If she goes, it will +be in direct defiance of my authority and against my wish and approval. +But when she hears what I have to say I do not think she will go." + +"Don't think who will go?" demanded an eager voice, as Nan came pelting +in at the door, having flung down stairs in such a whirl that they had +scarcely realized she had started before she was here. + +"Heyo, Ruth! When did you come? You're a dear girl to venture out a +day like this! Who'll go where, 'you don't think,' Miss Blake?" + +Ruth rose and began dragging on her gloves. "Hello," she said, +blankly, in return for the other's greeting. + +"Who'll go? Who'll go?" insisted Nan, tapping the floor with her foot +to emphasize her impatience. + +Ruth looked at Miss Blake a little sullenly, and said nothing. Miss +Blake looked at Nan. + +"You," she returned simply. "I was just saying to Ruth that I am sure +you would not go anywhere against my plainly expressed wish." + +The girl threw back her head with an unrestrained laugh. + +"Oh, now, you're bragging!" she cried breezily. "Don't count too much +on me. I'm a queer creature. I don't know what I'd do if I were hard +put!" + +Ruth glanced at Miss Blake again as she buttoned her coat. The +governess' face was quite placid, but there was an expression in her +eyes that was quite new to the girl and that she did not care to face. + +"The fact of the matter is, Nan," Miss Blake explained, "Ruth has come +here to invite you to join a sleighing party to be given--what night +did you say, Ruth?" + +"The first clear one," responded the girl still sullenly. + +"The first clear night," resumed Miss Blake. "All your friends are +going, and it would give me as much pleasure to have you join them as +it would you to do so, but--under the circumstances it is impossible to +do anything save--" she paused an instant, and Nan broke in impatiently: + +"Under what circumstances? There aren't any circumstances! A +sleighing party! Why, it'll be just magnificent and gorgeous! Of +course I'll go. Hurrah! Ruth, you're a dear to ask me! Go? Well, I +should think so!" + +Ruth fastened her fur boa about her neck, and murmured something almost +inaudible about having to hurry home. + +"Well, you can count on me," cried Nan, flinging her arm about her +friend's waist and escorting her to the door. "Good-bye! Thanks heaps +for asking me! Las' tag!" + +The front door slammed, and the girl came back to the library with her +cheeks aglow and her eyes flashing. "What fun!" she exclaimed. "I +know what we'll do! We'll go down to Howe's and have a supper and a +jolly good time generally. Mary Brewster and Grace and Ruth had it all +planned out for the next good snow, and I'd forgotten. O goody!" + +Miss Blake was standing as they had left her, by the fire, with her +foot upon the fender and her hand upon the high mantel-shelf. Now she +took them both down and turned to Nan, saying in a low, controlled +voice: + +"Nan, I want to talk to you about this party. And you must hear me +out, even if some of the things I am about to say do not please you." +She kept her eyes on the girl's face as she spoke, and saw its +expression change quickly from one of eager anticipation to one of +growing apprehension and then again to one of dogged opposition. So +vivid were these changes that she almost lost the necessary courage to +go on, for she read in them that her task promised to be no easy one. + +"Well?" said Nan, tapping her foot impatiently, as Miss Blake did not +at once continue. + +"Please sit down here, and I will try to say what I have to say as +quickly as possible," resumed the governess, drawing a long breath. + +Nan obeyed, but with a decidedly impatient fling of herself upon the +low ottoman Miss Blake had indicated. + +"As I said to Ruth," the low voice commenced, "under almost any other +circumstances it would give me the greatest pleasure to know that you +were to enjoy this sleighing party with the others. If Mrs. Andrews or +Mrs. Hawes were going it would settle the question at once." + +"Or if you were," suggested Nan, with a curl other lip. + +Miss Blake's face paled, and for an instant she regarded Nan in a sort +of surprised, hurt silence. Then she replied, steadily: "Yes, or if I +were. But as it is Mrs. Cole, the case is entirely altered. Mrs. Cole +is scarcely more than a girl herself, and--I say this to you, Nan, +simply because I must--she has never been, to my idea, a lady-like +young woman. She has always been flippant and frivolous and +boisterous; anything but a good companion for a number of impulsive, +impressionable girls like yourself." + +"Oh, pshaw!" interrupted Nan, impatiently. "There's nothing against +her at all. She's lots of fun, and a body'd be a great goose that +tried to suit all the old frumps in town. She said so herself, and +she's married and she knows." + +A ghost of a smile flitted across Miss Blake's face. Nan's emphasis +reflected so directly on her own condition of unauthoritative +spinsterhood. + +"If you and the other girls have no more careful a chaperone, one who +will be no more of a restraint than Mrs. Cole, I am afraid the party +will prove a rather uproarious one. And I cannot help thinking that +this is precisely the reason Mrs. Cole has been asked to attend you; +that you might not be under any restraint. I don't for a moment think +any of you girls would deliberately take advantage of your liberty, but +you are full of animal spirits, and when you get in full swing it is a +little hard, perhaps harder than you know, to rein yourselves in. I am +afraid Ruth has not been quite candid with her mother. At all events, +I am sure that if Mrs. Andrews realized the circumstances she would +think twice before letting Ruth go. It is not only that I think Mrs. +Cole will not prove a restraint; I am afraid she will intentionally +lead you on. And if she does, I am afraid your sleigh-ride will be +decidedly unconventional." + +"I hope we'll have a splendid time," announced Nan, setting her jaws +with a snap of her teeth. + +But the governess went on as if she had neither seen nor heard. + +"It is very important, Nan, that you especially should not be +identified with anything of the sort. It might injure you in such a +way that the harm could never be repaired." She paused and Nan +straightened herself with a jerk. + +"I'd like to know why it's more important for me than for the other +girls? If their mothers think it's good enough for them I guess it's +good enough for me, and if they can be trusted I guess I can." + +Miss Blake hesitated, but only for a moment. Then she went on steadily +and firmly, but without the least suggestion of sternness in her voice +or manner. + +"The reason is simply this: You have not had the advantages the other +girls have had. You have had no mother; no careful, loving training +from the first, and--excuse me, dear--your behavior has shown it. How +could it be expected not to do so? People have criticized you, and +their criticisms have been severe, unjust even. Lately you have set +yourself right with most of your neighbors, but it has been hard work, +and it has been only begun. It will still be hard work to keep their +good opinion. If you want to hold a place in their esteem you must +earn it and keep on earning it. The other girls might do with perfect +safety what you could not dream of doing, because in them it would be +looked on merely as a single slip; with you it would be backsliding. +Do you understand me, Nan?" + +There was no reply, but the girl's bent head was answer enough. Miss +Blake passed her hand tenderly over the roughened hair, and for a long +time there was silence between them. Nan was thinking, and Miss Blake +was content to let her think. + +The tall clock in the corner tapped out the minutes with slow, even +ticks. The fire burned steadily on the hearth, and the logs settled as +they burned. Outside the high wind raced madly around bleak street +corners, carrying the snow before it in white, blinding clouds. The +air was so full of the swirling, eddying flakes that it dimmed the +light and made evening seem to have settled down long before its usual +time. Every now and then there came to them from the conservatory a +faint, faint breath from a blossoming daphne, as though the delicate +thing were breathing out sweet gratitude for its shelter from the storm. + +Nan could not help responding to the quieting influence of it all. It +was very, very different from the place as it used to be, and she felt +the difference and the suggestiveness of it more now than she had ever +done before. + +Suppose the change in herself was as marked as this? Every one seemed +to like her nowadays. They said she was altered and improved, and if +they said so, she supposed it must be true. What, then, if she were to +turn about and be her old self again? + +What if Miss Blake were to give the house its old aspect again? Ugh! +It was disheartening even to think of such a thing. But granting that +she were to let things go back, she couldn't undo some of the +improvements she had made? So it seemed reasonable to Nan that even if +she let herself be as she had been for awhile, just to rest from the +constant trying to be good, for a day or so, the really important +changes must still remain; like the dumbwaiter and the wall paper and +the frescoes and the woodwork. And, pshaw! Just going to this +sleigh-ride wasn't going to prove that she was backsliding, anyway! +Miss Blake was too particular--making an awful fuss over nothing. Mrs. +Cole was all right enough. Lots of nice people knew her, and the girls +always liked to have her around, she was so gay and jolly. And now +that she was married, it was fun to have her chaperone them, for she +never interfered, nor was wet-blankety, like mothers and people, no +matter what was going on. In fact, she often urged them on and +suggested things the girls themselves would never have thought of, so +that wherever she was the fun promised to run high. It was too bad of +Miss Blake to have put the case as she had. It simply meant that if +Nan went she deliberately disobeyed her wish and defied her authority. + +For the first time the girl seemed to get a glimpse of the tactful, +tender way in which she had been guided. She saw that this was the +first instance in which she had been put under definite restraint. +Always before Miss Blake had left her seemingly to decide for herself, +and she had never been aware of the influence that led her in the right +direction. + +But this was different. This was discipline, and she rose against it +instantly. + +If she did not go on the sleigh-ride she would only be obeying Miss +Blake's injunction. There was no credit or virtue in that. There +might be some satisfaction in denying one's self a pleasure if one felt +one were independent, and that what one did was self-abnegating and +laudable. But if one acted under compulsion--! Pooh! Nan guessed +Miss Blake thought she was a mere child to be ordered about like that. + +And yet, with all this, there was a strange unfamiliar tugging at her +heart to confess herself willing to obey. She actually had to make an +effort to keep from doing so. She scarcely knew how it happened, but +all at once she became conscious that she had shaken herself together +and that she was saying, in no very gracious voice to be sure, but +still that she was saying, "Well, if you will have it your own way, you +will I suppose. There! I promise you I won't go on the sleigh-ride. +Now, does that satisfy you?" + +Miss Blake took her hand from Nan's hair so hastily that the girl +lifted her head in astonishment. But the governess had neither the air +of being angry nor of being wounded as she feared. She simply rose and +said in quite a matter-of-fact tone as she turned toward the door: + +"I demanded no promise of you, Nan, and I give you back your word. +Moreover, I entirely recall my injunction. Do as you please. If you +decide to go you will neither be disobeying my order nor breaking your +own promise. You are quite free and untrammeled, my dear." + +Nan sprang to her feet. + +"Huh!" she cried in an exasperated manner, "I know what you mean! You +mean I am quite free to go and--take the consequences. That's what you +mean." + +Miss Blake paused but made no reply. + +"But suppose there aren't any consequences?" pursued Nan, biting her +lip and scowling darkly from between her knitted brows. + +Miss Blake turned her head. + +"There are always consequences," she said over her shoulder in a voice +that was very low and serious. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI + +THE SLEIGH-RIDE + +The storm lasted for three days and then came a term of perfect +weather. Under foot the snow was packed hard and tight into a compact +mass over a bed of ice, and overhead the sun shone out from a cloudless +sky, while the air was so keen that it kept the mercury very close to +the zero mark even at midday. + +"How is this for high?" demanded Ruth exultantly, as she and Nan met +toward the end of the week, the first time they had seen each other +since that stormy day when the subject of the sleigh-ride had first +been broached to Miss Blake. + +"The weather, you mean? Oh, perfectly fine!" responded Nan. + +Ruth drew a step nearer to her. + +"It's all arranged for to-night. Not a soul has refused; every one +we've asked is going, and the sleigh is a regular old ark. We've got +everything our own way. Mike, from the stables, is as solid as a brick +wall. The horses are perfectly safe and we're going to have footstoves +to keep our toes warm. Mrs. Cole has telephoned down to Howe's to have +our supper ready, and we're going to have a simply stunning time." + +Nan tried to smile, but failed, and Ruth was too full of her own +affairs to notice. + +"We're going to start at eight sharp. First we thought we'd pick up +the party as we went along, but Mrs. Cole said it would waste too much +time, so we're all going to meet at her house. I've so much on my mind +my head's spinning. Be sure you're on hand at eight. We're not going +to wait for any one." + +"O Ruth!" faltered Nan, flinging out a detaining hand as the girl was +about to go. "I'm not going. Didn't I tell you?" + +Ruth stopped short and gazed at her in bewilderment. + +"Not going! What on earth do you mean?" + +"I can't go; that's all," stammered Nan, flushing hotly at the seeming +weakness of the confession. + +Ruth stared at her blankly. + +"Well, I like that!" she enunciated at length. + +"Why, I told you, didn't I?" asked Nan. + +"Told me what? That you weren't going? Well, I should say not. Miss +Blake said you couldn't but you said flat down you would, and, of +course, I believed you. Don't you remember the last words you said as +I went away that day were that I could count on you? And so, of +course, I counted." + +Nan stood and regarded the snow at her feet in silence. + +"It's right-down mean to back out at the last minute when the party's +all made up and the couples all arranged and you've given your word. +We've been awfully careful whom we've asked, because we only wanted a +certain kind--not alone a certain number. Of course, we could get lots +of girls to take your place and jump at the chance; but we prefer you, +and you'd given your promise." + +Nan ground the snow under her foot until it squeaked. + +"I thought you were sick, or something, when you didn't come around," +went on Ruth, sternly. "I never imagined for a minute it was because +you meant to flunk and leave us in the lurch like this. If I'd thought +that I wouldn't have gone to all the trouble I did to save you a place +next to John Gardiner when Mary Brewster was fighting tooth and nail to +get it." + +The pinched snow squeaked again under Nan's grinding heel, this time +louder than before. + +"It's all nonsense, Miss Blake's not wanting you to go," pursued Ruth. +"Everything is as proper as pie, and if the boys get to carrying on a +little too much Mrs. Cole will settle them in no time. She's real +determined when she makes up her mind. What under the sun does Miss +Blake think we are going to do? But that's no matter now. You gave me +your word, and you've no right to go back on it. Besides, it'll set us +all topsy-turvey with our accounts, for if you don't go of course you +won't turn in your share of the tax, and we couldn't ask any one at the +last minute just to come as a make-shift and expect her to pay for the +privilege. The end of it will be the rest of us will have to make it +up, and if you think that's fair I don't!" + +"I'll gladly pay my dues," returned Nan, more meekly than Ruth had ever +heard her speak. "You can ask any one you choose as my substitute, and +say anything you please to explain my not going, and I'll stand by you." + +This began to sound serious, and Ruth felt it was time to clinch her +argument. + +"If you go out Louie Hawes will, too. Her mother said she'd let Lu go +if Miss Blake would let you, but that if Miss Blake objected she +thought it would be best not to have Lu join. She said she made Lu's +going entirely conditional on yours. So, you see, if you back out +you'll not alone be breaking your promise, but you'll be breaking up +the party and making a mess of it all round. I told Mrs. Hawes you +were going, and Lu's heart is set on it. If she has to stay back now, +at the last minute like this, it will disappoint her dreadfully, and I +wouldn't blame her if she never spoke to you again." + +Nan felt that she had been driven into a corner, and that there was but +one way out of it. In spite of her strong desire to go with the girls, +she had determined to stick to her resolve to stay behind. She had +hardly known why she had tried to avoid them all these days. But now +she knew. It was because she was afraid they would shake her +resolution. Once she would have called herself cowardly for trying to +spare herself such temptation, but now she knew better; she saw she had +been simply wise. It would not have been brave, but merely reckless, +to have done otherwise. She had known ever since Miss Blake spoke that +she was free to do as she pleased. That she was held by no promise; +that she was compelled by no stronger claim than Miss Blake's +disapproval, which might be, after all, only a groundless personal +prejudice, she thought. She hardly realized why she felt bound to +obey. And now along came Ruth to prove that there were other claims +outside Miss Blake's. She remembered perfectly having said that Ruth +could count on her. Here was a very definite promise, although it had +been made in half-ignorance, and she understood clearly that Ruth meant +to make her keep it. Then, again, she was directly responsible for +Louie's disappointment, and this seemed to her, as Ruth had intended it +should seem, a compelling conclusion. If she had been older her +reasoning would not have stopped here, but, as it was, she perceived +only two sides to the question, and this that Ruth had just presented +seemed infinitely more convincing than the one Miss Blake had tried to +make clear to her. Ruth's logic she could understand; the governess' +seemed vague and incomprehensible. In one case she had been coerced +into making a promise from which she had later been absolved; in the +other she had given her word of her own free will, and she was being +stoutly held to it. There were other influences at work, but Nan did +not know it. She honestly believed she was waiving all considerations +but those with which her duty was concerned, and she thought she had +done so when she broke out with a sort of impatient groan: + +"Oh, dear! I never saw such a tangle!" + +"Well," returned Ruth grimly, "I don't know anything about that, but +whatever it may be, I've got the strong end of the line and I mean to +hold it. You've just got to go and that's all there is to it." + +Nan gave a rueful laugh. She more than half-liked to have Ruth leave +her no alternative. It somehow made her seem less responsible to +herself. If the decision were taken out of her hands she could not be +held accountable and--the enjoyment would be there all the same. + +"I wish you'd let me off, Ruth," she protested weakly, as a sort of +last sop to her conscience. + +Ruth saw that she had prevailed and gave her head a triumphant toss. +"Well, I won't, so there! And what's more I can't stand here wasting +time like this another minute. I have a hundred things to do before +eight o'clock, so good-bye! Be sure you're on time for we won't wait a +second, and if you don't arrive none of us will ever speak to you +again, so there!" + +Nan stood dumbly stubbing her toe into a little mound of snow quite a +minute after Ruth had left her. She had not even glanced up when, in +response to her friend's last declaration, she had said, "Very well; +I'll be on hand," and her voice had sounded so flat and lifeless that +Ruth thought it better to hasten off before the words could be +recalled. When Nan spoke in that half-hearted tone Ruth had no faith +in her strength of purpose. She walked home in a doubtful frame of +mind, wondering if, after all, the promise would be kept. + +But Nan had no such misgivings. She knew perfectly well that she was +"in for it" now, but, strange to say, she felt no exultation in the +prospect. + +"Oh, dear!" she snapped out peevishly, with a last vicious dig of her +heel into the snow, "every bit of enjoyment is taken out of it, I never +saw anything so provoking, in the whole of my life. If Miss Blake only +hadn't been so mean, I might have been spared all this fret and bother +and been just as jolly as any of them. But how can a person have a +good time when they know there's some one at home pulling a long face +and making one feel as if one were breaking all the laws. It's just +too bad, that's what it is." + +But Miss Blake neither "pulled a long face" nor by any other means +tried to impress Nan with a sense of her disapproval. She took her +decision quietly, and made no comment upon it one way or the other. +But when it neared dressing time, and the girl had gone to her room to +prepare, she tapped gently for admittance and came in, bearing in her +hand a coquettish sealskin hood which she generously offered to Nan, +saying: + +"It's bitterly cold, and I know you won't want to tie a comforter about +your ears. If you will wear this I shall be only too happy to lend it +to you. See, the cape is so full and deep your chest and back can't +get chilled, and it is not at all clumsy, as so many of them are. Try +it on. I think it will be becoming and I know it will keep you warm." + +Nan was at a loss for words. Miss Blake had none of the air of heaping +coals of fire on her head, but just for a second the girl suspected her +of it and hung back reluctantly. Then she looked into the frank, +honest eyes and all her suspicion vanished. + +"You're--you're awfully kind," she stammered, hastily. + +"Try it on," repeated Miss Blake, cordially. + +Nan took the soft, warm thing by its rich brown ribbons and, setting it +snugly on her head, tied the strings into a big broad bow beneath her +chin. + +"It's not so unbecoming!" commented the governess, observing Nan +critically with her head on one side. + +Nan looked in the mirror. What she saw there was the reflection of a +flushed, excited face with keen, young eyes that were just now +unusually large and bright. Sundry riotous tendrils of hair had +escaped from their restraining combs and were flying loose at the +temples, and, framing all, was a circle of dusky, flattering fur which +lent a look of softness and roundness to the firm, square chin and rose +above the brow in a quaint, coquettish peak which was vastly graceful +and becoming. + +"O Miss Blake!" cried Nan, her eyes flashing with pleasure, "isn't it +the darlingest thing? And as warm as toast! I'll be ever and ever so +careful of it. You're awfully good to lend it to me. But I really +think I oughtn't to take it. Something might happen; it might get +lost." + +"Don't give it another thought," Miss Blake said, kindly. "Just wear +it and keep warm and comfortable. You must take the gloves, too. They +will keep your fingers cozy." + +So Nan set out looking like a young Russian in her borrowed furs and +feeling what satisfaction she might in the consciousness that she was +appearing, if not behaving, at her best. + +She found most of the party already assembled at Mrs. Cole's and as the +door was opened to her, a loud chorus of shouting laughter met her ears +and she was laid hold of by a dozen hands and dragged forward under the +gaslight. + +"Pooh!" shrieked the chorus again. "This one's easy enough! Nan +Cutler! first guess," and she was released as hurriedly as she had been +set upon, while the entire company fell upon a later comer and tried to +discover the identity of the muffled, veiled individual before she had +either spoken or recovered from the unexpected onslaught. + +"Well, Nan," cried Harley Morris, jovially, "you're the only girl who +isn't muffled out of all recognition. We've had a dandy time trying to +identify some of them." + +"I never saw you look so well," declared Louie Hawes, generously, with +her eyes glued to the fascinating peak. + +"Nor I," broke in Mary Brewster. "Really, I didn't know you at first. +That hood is as disguising to you as our veils are to us." + +Nan flushed, but made no response. Harley Morris gave a low whistle +and strolled off to join John Gardiner, who was standing before the +fire talking with grave-faced Mr. Cole, and as he went she heard him +murmur under his breath: + +"Sweet remark! Oh, these dear girl friends!" + +It instantly changed her feeling from momentary resentment toward Mary +to pity for her. + +All at once Mrs. Cole's shrill treble was heard high above the hum and +murmur of the other voices, crying: + +"Now, girls and boys, time's almost up! It any of the party's missing, +he or she will be left behind! Prompt's the word." + +Then, stepping over to her husband, she tapped him lightly on the +shoulder and said: + +"There now, Tom, I'm glad we're going, for you're looking as solemn as +an owl. Cheer up and have a lovely time with your book and that jolly +fire, and don't forget to go to bed at nine o'clock like a good little +boy." + +Mary Brewster laughed, and most of the others joined in her merriment. +But Mr. Cole looked so troubled and stern that Nan, who was gazing at +him from the corners of her eyes, saw no reason to laugh at his wife's +sally, but felt a much greater inclination to cry for pity of him and +his anxious face. + +Suddenly she was roused from her musing by John Gardiner's voice close +at her ear. + +"Nan!" he said. + +"Oh, heyo, John!" + +"I want to tell you something," he went on, nervously, in a hesitating +whisper. "From the looks of her, Mrs. Cole means to carry things with +a high hand to-night. Hope we won't come to grief. Sometimes the +motto is 'everything goes,' and then it isn't so easy to hold back and +stand for the things you ought to. I depend on you, Nan, to keep a +level head, for some of us'll have to act as ballast or we'll all go +under." + +Nan's face glowed with gratification. "All right, John," she responded +staunchly, and then, Mrs. Cole giving the signal, in an instant the +roomful seemed to fling itself helter-skelter to the hall-door, +fastening boas and mufflers as it went, all eager and breathless to be +off. There was a deal of laughing and exclaiming, shrieking and +protesting as the girls were bundled, one after another, into the +sleigh. + +"Is this you, Lu?" + +"Yes. O dear! I have lost my veil. No, here it is, dragged under my +chin." + +"I thought I was to sit next to you, Nan!" + +"Oh, that's all right, Mary's there, and it's too late to change now. +No matter." + +John Gardiner leaped up. + +"I say there, Mike, hold your horses for a second. Would you mind +moving down a place, Mary? Thanks! Mrs. Cole said I was to sit next +to Nan, and as we are all under her orders to-night I'm bound to obey. +There! this is what I call festive! 'A thorn between two roses,' eh?" +and he settled himself comfortably between the two girls with a great, +hearty laugh and a final "Ready!" at which word the horses started into +a brisk trot. Their bells broke into a silver chime; the sleigh swept +smoothly over the glaze of snow, and the evening's fun began. + +Some one had brought a tin horn, and this was blown with such a vim +that conversation was impossible. But remarks and retorts were shouted +from one side to the other, and the tamest of them brought forth peals +of laughter. + +The heaven above them was densely black, and out of it flashed +innumerable stars like sparks white-hot and quivering with inward fire. +But the wind that swept across the sky was so cold that it made it seem +to contract and retreat and leave the shivering world an inconceivable +depth below. + +Swathed and bundled as they were, the girls very soon began to feel the +deadly chill in the icy air. + +"Nan's shivering like an ash-pan!" John cried out suddenly. "Has +anybody got an extra shawl or something they can lend her?" + +"Hush!" returned the girl, trying to control her trembling, "it's +nothing; I'm all right." + +"Pity she can't keep warm with John Gardiner beside her!" Mrs. Cole +suggested. + +In the shadow Nan's teeth came together with a snap of disgust. She +saw now what it was in Mrs. Cole that offended Miss Blake. She had +never noticed it before, but it had been there, and she knew it. John +made no retort, while the others laughed and applauded. + +"Here, Nan!" spoke up some one at the other end of the sleigh, "here's +a cigarette. Take it and warm yourself before its genial blaze," and +it was passed along from hand to hand, its ruddy point glinting out in +the shadow as it went along. When it came to Mary, instead of handing +it on at once, she held it a moment, then suddenly raised it to her +lips. + +"Hey, there! Turn off the draught!" cried its owner merrily at sight +of the newly-glowing tip. + +"Shut down the damper!" shouted some one else. + +"I dare you to smoke it!" laughed Mrs. Cole. + +Mary deliberately took a long puff. + +Nan leaned back behind John and laid her gloved hand impulsively on +Mary's shoulder. "O Mary!" she protested in a whisper. "Don't. +Please! It'll make you sick." + +But the girl was not to be thwarted. She shook off Nan's hand +impatiently. + +"Mind your own business!" she replied, and took another puff. + +On they swept through the icy air, across the snow-covered country, +amid the white night. The horn blew; the voices sang and shouted, and +finally the sleigh swung up before the hospitable road-house, where +every window was alight and their steaming supper awaited them. + +It was harder to get out of the sleigh than it had been to get in it, +for joints that at first had been limber and strong were now stiff and +cramped from cold and disuse, and the girls made a sorry show, limping +and halting from the sleigh to the house. When Nan first gained the +ground she could hardly stand, but a little vigorous exercise soon sent +the blood tingling through her veins again and unknotted her muscles, +and she was about to run gayly up the path when she felt a hand upon +her shoulder, and looking round saw Mary Brewster beside her, her face +ghastly and drawn in the pallid moonlight and her chin quivering weakly +in a manner that Nan saw at once was not the effect of the cold. + +"Lean on my shoulder and I'll get you up to the house in a jiff," she +said, in a low whisper. + +Mary clung to her, wavering and faint, without a word, and in the +confusion no one noticed her plight. Nan had fairly to drag her up the +steps, and then again up the staircase to the room the woman of the +place had showed them when Nan had drawn her aside and told her of +their dilemma. + +"It's the cold!" gasped Mary, crying abjectly between her spasms of +misery. + +"No such thing!" returned Nan stoutly. "It's that villainous +cigarette. But never mind now. There! Don't think of anything but +getting better. I'll stroke your head for you. It must be aching +terribly." + +So she soothed and comforted the girl as best she could, and the kind +mistress of the house came up every now and then with offers of help +and reports of how the supper was progressing below, and after a while +Mary grew quieter and could do something beside moan and cry and wring +her hands over her own wretchedness. + +"Nan," she whispered presently in a conscious-smitten voice, "I want +you to leave me and go down stairs. You've given up the best part of +the fun for me, but you shan't lose it all. Please go down!" + +Nan shook her head. "No, you don't, ma'am!" she declared cheerfully, +and Mary was too exhausted to argue the question. She felt deliciously +drowsy and the freedom from pain made her tearfully happy. Vague, +dreamy thoughts were wandering through her brain, and one of them was +that Nan had been very kind to her. She had not deserved it. She had +been mean to Nan. She admitted it. She ought to beg her forgiveness. +It was so good to be out of pain that she was willing to do anything to +prove her gratitude. She opened her eyes and saw Nan bending over her +with a face full of sympathy. She put up her hands and drew the face +down to hers, her lip trembling like a little child's. + +"Kiss me, Nan!" + +Nan kissed her. + +"I want you to forgive me. I've been hateful to you and you've been +generous and kind and--I love you for it. I'd like to be your +friend--if you'd let me, after the way I've treated you." + +Nan kissed her again. "Never mind that now. We'll begin all over, and +I guess I can behave a little better myself. Now go to sleep and get a +good nap before it's time to go home." + + + + +CHAPTER XVII + +CONSEQUENCES + +As soon as she saw that Mary had fallen soundly asleep Nan rose and +slipped noiselessly down stairs. She had no trouble in finding the +supper-room, for she had only to follow the echoing sounds to be led +directly to the door. She stood a moment on the threshold before she +laid her hand upon the knob. It seemed to her she had never heard such +a hub-bub, but as she listened she seemed to hear, over and above it +all, Miss Blake's soft voice saying quietly: + +"If you and the other girls have no more careful a chaperone than Mrs. +Cole, I am afraid your party will prove a rather uproarious one." + +"Rather uproarious!" Nan smiled, as she repeated the words to herself. +Then she turned the knob and pushed open the door. + +The clamor surged louder than ever, and for a second seemed almost to +stun her. Dishes were clattering, and every one seemed doing his or +her best to add to the tumult and confusion. No one noticed Nan +standing dumbly in the doorway, and it was only when some one's eye +fell upon her as she took a step or two forward that there was a cry of +"Hullo! Here's Nan!" and she was pulled to the table, forced into a +chair, and plied with all sorts of dishes and questions, until she put +her hands to her ears and begged for mercy. + +"Here's some salad! Take this!" + +"The jelly's most gone and what's left of it is melted. But you're +welcome to it such as it is and what there is of it." + +"Where have you been all this time?" + +"We've been calling you every sort of a name for being so rude as to +stay away from the supper." + +"Oh, Nan had her good reason," shouted Mrs. Cole, pushing back her +chair and springing to her feet. + +"Come, girls and boys!" she cried shrilly, "it's getting late. If we +want to dance we'd better be about it." + +Of course that led to a general uprising, and in a moment the whole +tableful was swarming toward the parlor. + +"How do you like it, Nan?" asked John Gardiner, quizzically, coming and +leaning toward her to whisper the question in her ear, as they stood at +one side waiting for the music to begin. + +"Like it!" repeated Nan, "I think Mrs. Cole's simply--well, I'm sorry +she was ever asked to come. It would all have been so different if we +had had Mrs. Andrews or Mrs. Hawes or--just imagine Miss Blake acting +as she has to-night!" + +"I can't imagine it!" returned John, emphatically, "and worse yet, Mike +is in no condition to drive us home. He's been drinking. I went out +to see if the horses were all right and being fed, you know, and there +I heard about it. Mike simply mustn't drive." + +Nan pressed her hands together and gave a stifled groan. + +"That's what I wanted to tell you," continued John, hurriedly. "It +isn't safe to let him try and I'm going to take his place myself. I +don't know how long I can stand it, for it's colder than ever and I +haven't any driving gloves, but I'll do the best I can and perhaps some +of the other fellows will lend a hand." + +Nan thought a minute. "I tell you what," she declared at last, "I'm +going to do part of the driving myself. I'll sit up front and when you +give out I'll lend a hand and we'll get through somehow. I've Miss +Blake's gloves and they are as warm as toast." + +The anxious look faded a little from John's face, and in spite of +himself he showed he was relieved. "I may not have to give up at all," +he said at length; "but if I do there's not a fellow in the whole lot +I'd rather trust the reins to than you. Come! They're making a move. +Get your things on as quick as you can and be where I can see you so we +can take our places without making too much talk." + +In a twinkling Nan had flown upstairs, roused Mary and helped her to +get ready and was hooded and cloaked and standing in the hall-way. The +others came up one by one and presently the big door was opened and +they trooped through it out into the waiting sleigh. John gave Nan a +hand and she sprang quickly to the place beside him on the driver's +seat. They started. + +It proved a very different matter sitting on that unsheltered box +facing the wind to cuddling, as they had done before, among the warm +straw with their faces shielded from the current by the high protecting +sides of the sleigh, and after a very little while Nan had to set her +teeth to keep from crying out for the pain in her stinging cheeks. + +Back of them the rest of the party shouted and tootled and yodeled as +cheerfully as ever. Every one wanted to know what had become of Mike, +and as nobody could tell but John and Nan, and they wouldn't, the +questions went unanswered, and by and by the subject was dropped and +only occasional spiteful jokes made by Mrs. Cole at the expense of +John's driving and Nan's sitting beside him while he did it. + +Happily the horses knew the way home and were eager to get there, so +they did not have to be urged or guided. But it was necessary to hold +a tight rein, and John's hands soon began to feel tortured and twisted +with the strain upon them biting through their numbness like screws of +pain. He shook his head determinedly when Nan offered to relieve him, +and at last she had to wrench the reins from him in order to take her +share of duty and give him a chance to recover a little. + +So, taking turns faithfully like good comrades, and exchanging never a +word, they got the sleigh and its load safely into town at last, and +not one of the gay, irresponsible party knew how difficult an +achievement it had been. + +Miss Blake herself opened the door to Nan and let her in. One glance +at her, as she stood huddled and quivering with cold in the vestibule, +was enough. Not a question was asked. She was led gently into the +warm dining-room, her hood and cloak taken from her and her frozen +hands briskly chafed, while on Miss Blake's tea-stand stood her little +brass kettle, bubbling and purring merrily above its alcohol flame, and +hinting broadly at soothing cups of something "grateful and comforting." + +Nan let herself be waited upon in a sort of half dream. The agony in +her hands had been so great that it had taken all her strength to bear +it, and now it was going she felt weak and babyish. + +"O dear!" she broke down at last, with a gulp of relief. "It's been an +awful evening! Mrs. Cole was detestable. Do you know what she did?" +and then came out the whole story pell-mell: all told in Nan's blunt, +uncompromising way, and giving Miss Blake a better idea than anything +else could have done of just how right she had been in opposing the +girl's going under such chaperon age. + +She was too wise to say "I told you so," and she was too sincere to try +to gloss over the probable result of the episode. She looked grave and +thoughtful when Nan had finished her account, and her voice was very +serious as she said: + +"What the consequences to the others may be I don't know; I dread to +think. But I feel that at least you and John and Mary have seen things +as they are, and will profit by your experience. You remember the talk +we had at Mrs. Newton's before the holidays? She said 'Experience is +an expensive school, and only fools can afford to go to it,' or +something like that; you are no fool, Nan. I think you will see more +and more plainly, as time goes on, that there are some things that we +cannot afford to do. We cannot afford to buy a momentary pleasure at +the price of a lifetime of regret, and we cannot afford to spend even +one day of our life in unscrupulous company. It costs too much. We +think we have a very keen business sense, we men and women, but we +allow ourselves to be cheated every day we live in a way that would +disgust us if we were dealing in dollars and cents. Self-respect is +more valuable than momentary enjoyment, yet those boys and girls sold +one for the other to-night. + +"As for you, I think you made a good exchange, Nan, when you gave up +your supper for Mary's sake. Love is a reliable bank, dear, and you +can't make too many deposits in it. It always pays compound interest, +and the best of it is, it never fails." + +Nan's lips opened as if she were about to speak, but she closed them +again, and sat looking into the fire very seriously and silently for +some time. Then the lips parted again, and this time the words came, +though even now with an effort: + +"I guess you'll think it's no credit to me that I'm sorry I went. But +I am sorry, and I would be if it had been the best time in the world. +I didn't want to go, really, after you said you'd--rather I wouldn't. +I didn't, honestly. It won't do either of us any good for me to say +now that I wish I had done as you wanted me to. But I do wish it. +I've hated myself all along for acting as I did. Now don't let's say +anything more about it--but--but--I wanted you to know how I feel." + +There was an ominous catch in her voice that warned Miss Blake not to +pursue the subject. Nan could humble herself to apologize, but to +follow the abasement up by shedding tears on it was too much for her +dignity, and she fought against it stolidly. + +But the governess knew her well enough by this time to feel assured +that what she said was true, and she accepted the clumsy, halting +"amende" as gratefully as if it had been the most graceful of +acknowledgments. + +"Dear me," she broke in, in quite a matter-of-fact way. "Do you know +that the small hours are getting to be large hours, and we are sitting +here as unconcernedly as if it were just after dinner. Come, let us +both get upstairs and to bed as fast as our feet can carry us," and she +promptly set the example by extinguishing the lamp and helping Nan to +shoulder her armful of wraps. + +"Oh, by the way," she said, as they readied the upper hall, and the +girl was about to make return of the hood, "you may keep it if you +will. Accept it and the gloves, with my love, as a sort of recompense +for what other things you have missed this evening." + +Nan was too overcome by the richness of the gift to make any response +at all for a moment. Then she blurted out awkwardly, though in a very +grateful voice: + +"You're so good to me it makes me--ashamed. You're always giving me +things. It isn't right. You give away everything you have." + +Miss Blake lifted her chin and laughed gayly over the cleft in it. + +"No, I don't," she returned, tip-toeing to drop the gloves, like a +blessing, on the girl's head. "I have one or two things which I keep +all for myself. But if I like to give presents, do you know what it's +a sign of? It's a sign I'm poor. Poor people are always possessed by +a passion for giving presents. It's true! I've always noticed it! +Good-night!" + +And that was the last Nan heard about the affair from Miss Blake. +Unfortunately--or fortunately--it was not the last she heard of it from +others, by any means. It was a long, long time before it was allowed +to drop. + +In the first place, Michael was discharged from the stables, and this +led to a vast amount of discussion, for the poor fellow, who was +temperate by nature, was thrown out of employment in midwinter, and his +predicament seemed a pitiable one to those who really understood the +facts in the case. + +Miss Blake, when she heard of the affair, had bidden John Gardiner +bring the man to her. She heard his story, and then sent him off with +a few kindly, encouraging words, and the poor fellow felt comforted in +spite of the facts that she had given him neither money nor any +definite promise of help. When he had gone she sat for some time +thinking busily, her chin in her palms and her elbows propped on the +desk in front of her. She was still for so long that John and Nan +stole off after a while and tried experiments with the kodak on some +back-yard views, and when they came back to Miss Blake's room to ask +her opinion on some point of focus they found the place deserted and +the governess gone. + +The next day Mike was discovered sitting smilingly enthroned in his +accustomed place on the lofty box of the livery "broom-carriage," and +he vouchsafed the information to congratulating friends that: "Ut's +another chanct Oi hav, though how Oi come boy ut ye'll niver know anny +moar than Oi do mesilf, for Misther Allen was that set agin me he +wuddn't hear a wurrud Oi'd sa'. But Oi have another chanct and ut's +mesilf 'll see till ut, ut lasts me me loife-toime." + +"O dear!" complained Ruth to Nan, "I never want to hear the name of +sleigh-ride again so long as I live. Everywhere I go, they say so +significantly: 'We hear you had a very gay time the other night! Well, +well! such things wouldn't have been tolerated when I was young!' and +then they make some cutting remark about Mrs. Cole, and I'm afraid it's +not going to be very pleasant for her after this, for none of our +fathers and mothers want to have anything more to do with her. They +say her example has been so bad. And one can't have a bit of fun +nowadays, for we're all being kept on short rations to pay up for the +other night." + +But as the weeks passed the gossip died away and then every one +breathed freer again. + +Latterly Nan was filling her part of the household contract with +considerably less ill-will than she had shown at the beginning, but +even now there were occasional lamentations when the day was especially +enticing, and her spirits rose and soared above the pettiness of +bed-making and the degradation of dusting. It took her about twice as +long to get through with her share of the work as it took Miss Blake, +and she could never console herself with the thought that it was +because the governess shirked. Occasionally she let her own tasks go +"with a lick and a promise," as Delia described it, bat when she saw +the thoroughness with which Miss Blake did even the least important +thing she had the grace to be ashamed and to determine on a better +course in the future. But before she really settled down to a stricter +habit of conscientiousness something happened that gave her more of an +impulse than a course of lectures would have done. + +The winter had been a long and unusually severe one, but by March it +seemed reasonable to suppose that its backbone was broken. Nan had +preferred the care of the conservatory to the duller and less +interesting work of dish-washing, and Miss Blake, in letting her take +her choice, had only exacted the promise that her charge was not to be +neglected. Nan had, as we know, given her hand upon it, and so the +matter stood. The governess never "nagged" her about her duties; she +took it for granted that the girl would honorably keep her word. + +And indeed for some time she was tolerably thorough, watering the +plants and loosening the soil about their roots; sponging the leaves of +the rubber trees and palms and picking off all the shriveled leaves and +faded petals from the flowering shrubs and keeping the temperature at +as nearly the right degree as was possible with such varying weather +and their simple device for heating the place. + +But she found it was much more of a tax than she had first supposed. +At the start plants had seemed so much more inviting than dishes that +she had appropriated the care of them at once, and now that she +discovered what her selection really involved she felt almost +aggrieved, and was inclined to be cross when she saw Miss Blake's tasks +finished for the day while her own was scarcely more than begun. + +"Provoking things!" she would declare as she dashed a double spray of +water on the rubber trees that did not need it, and gave but a mere +sprinkle to the blossoming azalias that did: "if I'd known what a +nuisance you were I can tell you I never would have taken you! Here! +will you come off, or won't you?" and she would give some wilted +blossom a vicious jerk that would set the entire plant shaking in its +pot as though it were trembling with distress at the rough treatment it +was receiving. If Miss Blake heard her she gave no sign. Sometimes +when they passed a florist's window she would stop and look wistfully +in at the bewildering display, and Nan would know that she was longing +to go in and buy some especially fascinating orchid or unusually rare +crysanthemum. But she would not yield to her impulse, for on one +occasion the girl had said with a shrug of impatience: + +"For goodness' sake don't get any more. It's all I can do to attend to +the bothersome things now. I wish they were all in Hong Kong--every +one of them." + +[Illustration: "Provoking things!"] + +So since then there had been no further additions to the conservatory, +and Miss Blake had to check her horticultural ardor or confine it to +her window-sill upstairs. + +But the plants throve in spite of their ungracious nursing, and when +she was not irritated by them Nan was very proud of the fine showing +they made. + +"I think that double, white azalia is one of most beautiful things I +ever saw: so pure and delicate!" said Mary Brewster to Miss Blake, +hanging over it in honest admiration one leaden-skied day when she come +to carry Nan off to her house to dinner and was waiting while the girl +went upstairs to get ready. + +"Yes," replied the governess, "I love it! But then, I love all the +dear things--even those poor woolly-leaved little primroses that have +almost less charm for me than any flowers I know. I'm so glad they are +all doing so well. I can't bear to bring a plant into the house and +then have it die. It seems almost like murder. But now I must run +away. I have an appointment with my dentist at three. It is very good +of you to ask Nan to dinner to-night, and I'm doubly glad it happens as +it does, for she would have to dine alone if she stayed at home, for I +have to go out of town on business and cannot get back tonight. Delia +will call for Nan at nine o'clock. Good-bye, and have a pleasant +evening!" and she caught up her satchel and was off in a twinkling. + +But after she had let herself out of the front door she came back and +called Nan to the head of the stairs. + +"It's bitterly cold," she said. "I had no idea it was so severe! Be +sure you wrap up warmly, Nan, and don't forget your gloves and leggings +when you come home. Oh, and the plants! You'll not fail to look after +them when you get in--the last thing before you go to bed? I think it +will freeze to-night, and they will need extra heat. Now, good-bye +again, and God bless you!" + +Nan waved her a vigorous adieu with the towel she held in her hand, and +this time the governess was off in earnest. + +The two girls followed her out not long after, and went laughing and +chatting down the street. + +"I've asked Grace and Lu and Ruth to come in after dinner, and we're +going to have a candy-pull. I didn't ask John, but I told him what was +up, and he said he and Harley and Everett had been wanting to call for +some time, and as I'd be sure to be in, he thought they might as well +do it to-night. I told him he'd have to 'call' loud, for we'd be in +the kitchen, and probably wouldn't hear him, and he said he'd see to it +that we did; so I suppose we'll have them too." + +Among them all it proved a gay evening, and seemed unusually so, for of +late jollifications had been rare. As Ruth said, "they were all kept +on short rations to pay up for the other night." + +It appeared to Nan when Delia arrived that she had made a mistake in +the hour, and had appeared at eight instead of nine; but as it happened +Delia purposely delayed in order that her girl might have an extra +sixty minutes, and when she pointed to the clock, whose short hand +pointed to ten, Nan could only shake her head, and say: "Well, I +suppose so--but it doesn't seem as if it could be." + +It was so cold that Delia had brought an additional wrap for her, and +the girl was glad to avail herself of it when she felt the nip of the +freezing air. + +"Why, it's much worse than it was this afternoon," she said. "If this +is spring, I'd just as lief have winter. I tell you what it is, Delia, +it won't take me long to tumble into bed. I'm frozen stiff already. I +hope you locked up before you came out, so all we'll have to do will be +to go upstairs. I hate to putter about in the cold." + +It seemed strange to go to bed without Miss Blake's cheery +"Good-night!" ringing in her ears. It was the first time the governess +had spent a night away from home since she first came to the house, +almost six months ago, and Nan devoutly hoped there wouldn't be a +repetition of the performance in another half-year. Her empty room +gave one "les homeseeks." + +In order to forget it and to escape the cold, Nan cut short her +preparations for the night and got into bed with as little delay as +possible. She cuddled comfortably between her smooth sheets and soft +blankets and in a moment was soundly asleep. + +When she waked the next morning it was with a vague feeling of +responsibility, as though she had gone to sleep with a weight of some +calamity on her heart. As she dressed she tried to recall it but there +was nothing in yesterday's experience to depress her and she ran down +to breakfast determined to shake off the haunting impression. But all +through the meal it clung to her and she could not get rid of it. To +be especially virtuous in Miss Blake's absence and show her that she +was "dependable," she took the dish-washing upon herself and got +through with it speedily. Then up to her room to set that in order, +and then down to the conservatory to attend to the plants. + +It was just as this juncture that Delia heard a wild cry of distress +ring through the house. She ran upstairs in a fright and found Nan +standing at the threshold of the conservatory door gazing in and +wringing her hands. The sight that met her eyes was a pitiful one. +There was not one plant among them all that had outlived the night. +The leaves of all were frozen black. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII + +"CHESTER NEWCOMB" + +"Oh, do you think I could?" demanded Nan, eagerly. + +Miss Blake considered a moment. "I don't see any reason why it might +not be arranged." + +"It's right by the sea and Ruth says they never fuss about clothes down +there. Just anything will do." + +The governess smiled. "Nevertheless I think you will need a couple of +changes. I have sometimes been asked to visit country houses where +'anything would do,' and I've generally found that it all depends on +what one understands by 'anything.'" + +"I can wear a shirt-waist in the morning and in the afternoon I can +wear a--a--another one," announced Nan. + +Miss Blake laughed. "You poor child," she said, "I do believe you +haven't much beside for the summer." + +"You see," broke in Nan, shamefacedly, "Delia didn't know anything +about styles and I didn't--care, and so we sort of let clothes go. It +isn't because father wouldn't want me to have nice things." + +Miss Blake took her up quickly. "I know it is not. And now we must +set to work at once to get you properly provided, for you are old +enough now to 'care,' not necessarily about styles, but certainly about +making a creditable appearance, and I want you to have a suitable +wardrobe so that you may always keep yourself tidy." + +It seemed to Nan that the wardrobe Miss Blake proceeded to provide for +her was something more than merely "tidy." The frocks were simple, it +is true, but very dainty and tasteful, and in her new interest in them +and the way they were made she quite forgot to complain at the extra +inch or two which the governess caused to be added to the length of the +skirts. + +There had been some stormy scenes when the winter dresses were being +made, Nan insisting that she would not wear "such horrid dangling +things that were forever getting in her way." She wanted her skirts +made short, and if she couldn't have her skirts made short, etc. + +The skirts had not been made short, and these were even longer. Clad +in them Nan looked very tall and womanly, and Delia realized for the +first time that her "baby" had ceased to be a little girl. + +So at last the preparations were completed and the girl started off to +spend a fortnight with Ruth at the Andrews' beautiful summer home by +the sea. Then came gay times. Early morning dips in the surf; +clam-bakes on the beach; long, lazy hours spent on the veranda, when +the day was too warm for exercise, and when it was cooler, fine spins +along the hard, white sand, for miles beside the shimmering sea. + +Nan grew as brown as an Indian, for she scorned shade-hats, and +oftenest had nothing on her head at all but her own thick thatch of +riotous brown hair. + +Ruth's brother taught Nan to swim, and she entered into it with so much +zest that to his surprise he found his only difficulty lay in trying to +restrain her. Nothing seemed to daunt her, and whatever any one else +did she immediately wanted to try. + +"The fact of the matter is," young Mr. Andrews declared one day, "you +ought to have been a boy. You'd make a capital fellow." + +"I know it," admitted Nan, frankly. "I love boys' sports and pranks, +and to think that all my life I've just got to 'sit on a cushion and +sew up a seam.' It's perfectly awful." + +"Fancy!" exclaimed Miss Webster, a fellow-guest, and a young lady whom, +by the way, Nan regarded with a good deal of disdain, because she +seemed what John Gardiner called "girly-girly," and was flirtatious. +"Fancy! Why, I wouldn't be a man for anything in the world! Just +think what hideous clothes they wear." + +"Thank you, Miss Webster," retorted Mr. Andrews with mock solemnity. + +"Oh, I didn't mean you," she returned with an emphasis and a soft +glance of the eyes. "You really dress extremely well. I adore your +neck-ties and your boots are dreams." + +Helen Andrews tried to hide a scowl of irritation. Alice Webster was +her friend, and she disliked having her display herself in her worst +light. She knew her to be a warm-hearted, honorable girl whose gravest +fault, which, after all, might be only a foible, was her tendency to +turn coquettish when she was in the society of gentlemen. + +Ruth rose and beckoned Nan to follow her. + +"Isn't she a lunatic?" she demanded, as soon as they were out of +ear-shot. + +"Perfect idiot!" responded Nan. "I should think your brother would +just duck her in the water some fine day when she's making those +sheep's eyes at him. I would if I were in his place." + +"Oh, he doesn't care. He thinks she's lots of fun. Besides, he's +going away to-morrow, and won't see her again unless Helen makes her +stay longer." + +"What'll she do for some one to make eyes at?" + +"Don't know. Helen generally has a lot of company, but just now there +seems to be a famine in the land!" + +Suddenly Nan stood stock still. + +"What's the matter?" demanded Ruth. + +Nan waited a moment, and then bent over and whispered something in her +ear. + +"Magnificent! We'll do it!" cried Ruth, clapping her hands, and +breaking into a peal of laughter. + +"Not to-night--while your brother is here!" protested Nan. + +"Of course not. To-morrow though, sure. Carl will be gone and the +coast clear, and meanwhile we'll drill." + +For the remainder of the day the girls were absorbed in something which +took them to their room and kept them there, and they only appeared +when dinner was announced, and the family already seated at the table. + +"Well, Miss Nan," Carl Andrews exclaimed, "I wish you were a boy, and +I'd take you up into the mountains with me and teach you how to handle +a gun." + +"What fun!" cried Nan. + +"Yes, it would be great sport, and I warrant you'd like camp-life, too. +It's just the sort of thing that you'd enjoy. Only I'm afraid it would +agree with you so well that you would grow an inch a week, and +considering you are a girl you'd better not get any taller." + +"O dear! Don't say that," groaned Nan, "for I probably shall grow lots +more as it is. You see I'm not quite sixteen yet. Do people ever get +their growth before they are sixteen, Mrs. Andrews?" + +"Oh, sometimes," replied the lady kindly. "I scarcely think you will +grow any more, my dear. But I wouldn't worry about it in any case if I +were you." + +"But I don't want to tower over everybody," wailed the girl. "Just +think, I'm head and shoulders above Miss Blake now!" + +"But Miss Blake is a 'pocket Venus!' Just as high as one's heart," +said Carl Andrews. "I took her home the other night and she barely +reached to my shoulder." + +"Then you and Nan must be about the same height!" said Helen. + +Nan made a grimace. + +"Good rye grows high!" quoted Miss Webster, good-naturedly. And then +the elder Mr. Andrews, who was a little deaf, began to talk about the +crops, probably thinking they had been discussing grain, since he heard +the word "rye." + +Early the next morning Carl Andrews started off, and the family waved +him a vigorous good-bye from the veranda steps, and after he had gone +the different members of the household went about their own particular +business, and did not meet again until luncheon-time. + +It proved an unusually warm day, and when evening came the young people +were glad to sit quietly on the veranda in the dark and enjoy the +heartening breeze that swept up from the sea. Mr. and Mrs. Andrews had +gone, as was their custom, out driving immediately after dinner, and so +the four girls were left to themselves. They were just laughing over +Ruth's description of one of Nan's exploits when the maid appeared +bearing a letter on a salver. + +"For Miss Cutler," she said, and handed it to Nan. + +The girl excused herself and hastened indoors to read it. A moment +later she called to Ruth. + +"It may be news from home," surmised Helen. "I hope it's nothing +serious. Her father is away; has been for two years or more. I +believe they expect him home this fall," and then she and Alice fell to +talking of other things and Helen was just wishing Carl could see her +friend in this mood, and know how womanly and sensible she could be +when suddenly they both stopped talking at the sight of a man's figure +coming up the long pathway from the outer road. + +"Who can it be?" whispered Helen. + +"A tramp?" suggested Miss Webster. + +"No. A tramp wouldn't come straight up to the house. It must be a +caller; possibly a friend of Carl's," murmured Helen. + +The stranger came directly toward the veranda, but at the steps he +paused a moment as though embarrassed at sight of the two girls +unexpectedly rising to meet him from out of the shadow. + +"Is Mr. Andrews in?" he asked, in a low, shy voice, and Helen said she +was sorry, but neither her father nor brother were at home. To which +did he refer? + +"To Mr. Carl Andrews," and then it was explained that he and Mr. Carl +Andrews were great chums. They-- + +"Won't you take a seat," asked Helen, hospitably, and he accepted at +once while she introduced Miss Webster and herself and he gave his name +as Chester Newcomb. + +"Oh, yes; I've often heard Carl speak of you," declared Helen, and then +she had to excuse herself to answer Ruth who was calling to her +vociferously from upstairs. + +"I'm afraid Nan has had bad news," she said, anxiously. "Excuse me, +please. I'll go and see what she wants and be back directly." + +Mr. Newcomb and Miss Webster fell at once into an easy chat. That is, +Miss Webster did. She rattled on in her least attractive manner, and +became so absorbed that she only noticed how long Helen had been absent +when Mr. Newcomb rose to go and she had not yet returned. + +"Pray don't call her," he entreated. "She probably is very much +engaged. I--I am spending a couple of weeks here and shall be charmed +to come again if I may." + +Miss Webster could only in turn assure him that she--that Helen and she +would also be charmed, and then he bowed himself off, striding down the +path with a free, somewhat boyish swing, and disappearing at length in +the shadow of the shrubbery. + +He came frequently after that and the girls began to chaff Miss Webster +about her "conquest" for he never seemed to care to come when the rest +were about, but chose such times for his calls when he and Alice could +stroll in the garden after dusk or sit and watch the sea and the stars +from the shadow of the broad veranda. + +It was very romantic and Miss Webster wore a dreamy, rapt expression +nowadays that sent Nan and Ruth off into fits of laughter when they +were out of the range of her eyes and ears. + +"What a pity it is he can't be here to see?" gasped Ruth. + +"Oh, he sees enough, never you fear," Nan assured her. "When one casts +sheep's eyes like that they hit even in the dark! Poor thing! She is +such a goose. Last night when he told her he was going to-morrow she +grew quite tragic and--" + +"O Nan! How could you listen?" cried Ruth in a shocked voice but +immediately after going into another spasm of laughter. + +"She quotes Shakespeare at him," gasped Nan, convulsed with mirth, and +not a bit abashed. "You ought to hear. It's rich!" + +"Well, we must see that the coast is clear to-night for I s'pose she +will be particularly touching, and Helen is getting awfully hard to +manage. It wouldn't do to interrupt them at the last minute just when +he was getting pathetic maybe. I wonder what he'll do?" + +"He'll be real dignified," declared Nan, solemnly. "You wait. He'll +be eloquent even if he is 'only a boy' as she says." + +So the two girls disappeared utterly after dinner, and when Mr. Newcomb +arrived he found Miss Webster quite alone, for Helen also was nowhere +to be seen. + +"She hasn't been very well lately," Miss Webster explained. "She looks +terribly pale and anxious and I'm afraid she has something on her mind. +Her headaches worry me!" and then she fell back into her poor, little +artificial manner again and sighed and looked sentimental and was +altogether "idiotic" as Nan would have said, and their two low-pitched +voices could be heard murmuring away in the stillness until poor Helen, +who was really half sick with a nervous headache upstairs, could have +cried with irritation and pain. + +She sat up on the bed when Ruth came into the room, and attacked her at +once. + +"I can't stand it another minute. It's driving me wild!" + +"Hush! It's only to-night. This is the last time. Don't make a +scene!" pleaded Ruth. + +"I'll never get over it," wailed Helen. "It simply is the most +detestable thing I ever knew. In our own house too! If this weren't +the last time I--" + +What she would do was never discovered for just at that moment a shrill +scream ran through the night, followed by the exclamation in a familiar +voice: + +"Great Scott! My wig!" + +And Ruth and Helen rushed below to find Miss Webster in a state of +collapse on one of the veranda settees and Nan standing over her, clad +in complete male attire, and fanning her frantically with a curly, +blonde wig which she wrenched by force from the trellis where it had +inadvertently caught. + +"I was just leaning back and being beautiful, and it got hooked on a +wire or something, and when I went to get up it stayed there and gave +me away!" she promptly explained. + +Then there was a scene. + +Miss Webster wept! Nan lamented! Ruth laughed, and Helen scolded, and +no one heard a word any one else was saying. + +But after a time every one grew calmer. + +"O Helen! I've made such a fool of myself," cried Alice abjectly. +"How can you ever respect me again?" + +"Respect you? Think of me!" sobbed Helen. "Can you ever forgive me +for knowing it all this time and letting it go on? Nan, you wretched +girl, come here this minute and beg Miss Webster's pardon. Ruth +Andrews, this is your work, Miss! See what you have done, and in your +own house, too!" + +But at this time Alice surprised them all. She put a gentle hand on +Helen's arm and said quite simply, and with a touching dignity: + +"Please don't ask anybody to beg my pardon. I deserved the lesson! +The girls needn't say a word. I--I--I am a goose, but I'll really try +to be better, and the kindest thing they can do is never to refer to it +again." + +The rare tears sprang to Nan's eyes, and she grasped Miss Webster's +hand in a grip that hurt. + +"You're downright fine!" she said, "and I'll never forget you as long +as I live." + +And then she had to beat a hasty retreat to escape Mr. Andrews and his +wife, who were just driving up to the door. + +But the secret leaked out, and she and Ruth were reprimanded sharply by +Mrs. Andrews who, for once in her life, turned severe and called them +sternly to account, and it was Alice Webster herself who interceded for +them, and begged that everything be forgiven and forgotten. + +They were her devoted slaves after that, and Nan, whose fortnight had +been extended, at the Andrews' request, to a month, took especial +delight in fetching and carrying for her to the close of her stay, and +in every possible manner making her feel how sincerely she regarded and +respected her. + +As for Miss Webster, she seemed like another girl. In fact, Carl +Andrews declared that he had never known what a "good sort" she was and +said he was mighty glad they had prevailed upon her to stay. + +He never knew why the mere mention of his friend, Chester Newcomb's +name should cause such a convulsion in the household, and when that +gentleman finally arrived, and the family met him for the first time, +it certainly seemed strange that they should all redden and stammer as +if they had been "awkward nursery children appearing at dinner." + +Nan especially could not be induced to have anything to say when he was +near, and when Carl discovered this he took a mischievous delight in +forcing her into his company and watching her try to "squirm" out of it +again. Miss Webster took pity on her and in the simplest, most natural +way came to her rescue whenever she was being victimized, and by and by +it became apparent even to Carl himself that "Ches and Miss Webster hit +it off first-rate." + +But at last Nan's visit really drew to a close, and, in spite of her +reluctance at leaving these good friends, she felt satisfied to go +home--she did not stop to ask herself why. + +Town seemed very stuffy and tame after the freedom of the country and +the sea, but when Miss Blake asked her if she would like to go away +again she replied: "Not alone," and then blushed shamefacedly and tried +to change the subject. + +While she was gone the governess had committed an extravagance. She +had bought a new bicycle. + +"What under the sun did you do that for?" demanded Nan. "Your other +was a beauty and as good as new." + +"But it wasn't new," suggested Miss Blake, lamely. + +"Pooh!" sniffed Nan. + +"I wanted this year's model." + +"Oh, very well! If you can be as particular as all that! How much did +they allow you on the other machine? I hope you made a good bargain," +said Nan. + +"I didn't let them have the other machine," hesitated Miss Blake. "It +didn't seem worth while. Besides I may want to use it myself +sometimes. Won't you come down and see the new one?" + +Of course Nan did not delay, and she went into raptures over the +beautiful wheel, praising it generously as she examined every point +with the eye of a connoisseur. + +"But it seems to me a pretty high frame!" she speculated, standing off +and taking it in from a distance. + +"I wanted a high frame," responded Miss Blake. + +"Seems to me pretty well up in the air for you, even with the saddle +down," insisted Nan, doubtfully. + +"You try it," suggested the governess. "If it suits you it will +certainly be too high for me." + +"It does suit me," announced Nan, balancing herself by a hand against +the wall. "You'd better send it back and get a lower frame." + +But Miss Blake shook her head. + +"No, I like this and I'm going to keep it. But of course if it is too +high I can't use it, and so--so--I'm afraid you'll have to, Nan. You +won't mind, will you? I mean getting your birthday present this way +ahead of time? I thought if we waited you'd lose the whole summer." + +Nan flung herself from the wheel in a rapture of surprise. It seemed +too good to be true. She could not believe it. Miss Blake had her +thanks more in the girl's radiant delight than in the mere words she +spoke, though these were genuine enough and full enough of gratitude. + +All through the long season after that, whenever the heat was not too +intense, Nan and her wheel could have been seen flashing through the +Park or taking a well-earned rest in the cool shadow of the Dairy +porch, where a sip of water seemed sweeter than ambrosia and a fugitive +breeze more aromatic than any zephyr from Araby the blest. + +Sometimes she and Miss Blake took longer trips into the country, and +then the governess had to be constant in her warnings to her against +her reckless fashion of riding. Again and again she spoke, and Nan +always meant to take heed and then always forgot, and fell back into +her old way once more. + +"I can't resist such a coast as that was," she would plead. "And if I +got off for every old man who thinks he has the right to the road I'd +be dismounting all the while." + +"I beg you not to take such risks," Miss Blake would rejoin. "It +simply spoils my ride for me, Nan, to see you so reckless. Such +head-long wheeling has nothing to recommend it. It is neither expert +nor admirable. When you fling along so blindly you are merely doing a +foolish, heedless thing and running serious risks. I am sure you will +come to grief some day." + +"Don't you worry! I am as much at home in my saddle as I would be in a +rocking-chair. See me ride without touching the handle-bars!" + +And presently she would lose all recollection of her good resolve, and +go hurling on at a break-neck speed in the van of some skittish horse, +or slowly zig-zag ahead in the path of some stolid coachman, causing +him to anathematize all wheelmen in general and this especially +provoking specimen in particular, while her watching companion held her +breath in trembling alarm. + +At last Miss Blake told Nan decidedly that unless she were willing to +ride properly she must give it up altogether. + +"I cannot stand this strain any longer," she said, in real distress. + +She and Mrs. Newton and the girl herself were taking their first ride +in company since the early summer. Now it was autumn, and the leaves +were turning. Mrs. Newton had just come back from the country, and Nan +was eager to display her skill, which she felt had improved not a +little since their neighbor's departure. + +The fresh wind, keen and bracing as it came from the sea, filled her +with a sense of new strength and energy, and she felt the effect of the +invigorating atmosphere in her blood. A scent of burning leaves was in +the air, and the indescribable suggestion of coming winter gayety. +To-day the road was crowded with carriages. They thronged the +fashionable drive, and lent it a peculiarly animated aspect. +Equestrians and wheelmen were also out in full force, and the presence +of so many people set Nan's blood tingling with excitement. She tossed +her head back, as the governess uttered her decision, with the +impatience of a mettlesome horse. + +"Now remember!" warned Miss Blake. + +Perhaps it was just this extra little warning that proved too much for +Nan's overcharged, headstrong spirit--or perhaps she did not hear in +the midst of the noise of hoofs and wheels about them. + +They were spinning noiselessly along the outer edge of the driveway +leading from the Park entrance to the cycle path, when suddenly Nan +gave a quick run forward and then made a swift dart for the other side, +weaving perilously in and out among the horses and moving vehicles, +dexterously dodging, veering, and turning until Miss Blake's heart +throbbed thickly from dread and her pulses beat heavily in her temples. + +"I must overtake her," she cried to her companion. "She will be +killed! I must save her!" + +Even as she spoke her breath caught in a short gasp, and she turned +suddenly rigid and ashen white. + +Coming up the road at full speed was a horse, whose driver, sitting +close over its haunches in his narrow sulky, was racing his animal +against one similarly driven and urging it on to its utmost pace for +winning honor. + +At his approach a clear path was made for him by the turning right and +left of the throng--by all save Nan. + +She heard a man's voice shout hoarsely to her. The oncoming horse had +the speed of a racer. + +A spirit of mad defiance possessed her. She steered straight as an +arrow before her. Then, like a flash, she veered, dodging from under +the horse's very nose. She had accomplished her feat very cleverly. + +But alas, for Nan! + +Even as she sped on, full of the exquisite thrill of exultation in her +own prowess she heard behind her the sound of a dull, fear-thickened +cry. Then a sudden confusion of voices and the cessation of rolling +wheels. She stopped and turned. + +The onward sweep of the mass of vehicles had been instantaneously +checked. The road was clear for some rods before her and in the centre +of this open space lay--a broken bicycle. + +A little group of men crowded close about some central object on the +ground. Women were wringing their hands and weeping hysterically, and +one woman--it was Mrs. Newton--was crying wildly, + +"Let me go to her! Let me go!" + +The circle of men upon the ground made way, and then Nan saw what it +was around which they knelt. + +She gave a quick, fierce cry of pain. The little governess lay quite +still and motionless. Her eyes were closed; her face was white as +marble. All her bright hair was lying loose about her temples--and it +was streaked with blood. + + + + +CHAPTER XIX + +IN MISS BLAKE'S ROOM + +Nan never forgot that scene. It seemed to her afterward, that even in +the midst of the horror that almost stupefied her and made her blind, +it had been indelibly photographed upon her brain to the merest detail +with torturing distinctness. + +She could see Mrs. Newton's drawn, livid face, and the stern, set +expression of the men who gathered about in knots here and there +discussing the accident in whispers, or arranging the best means of +getting back to town. A doctor, who happened to be near at hand, had +sprung forward at the first moment of alarm, and he and a strange, +kind-faced woman were together bending over the prostrate form between +them, while over all arched the high dome of the blue October sky, +beyond them stretched the level road, narrowing in the distance to a +point that seemed to pierce the sea, and on either side spread the +branches of bordering maple trees, each shining brilliant and gorgeous +In the autumn sunlight. + +Presently, in response to a demand from the doctor, a low-hung carriage +drew out from the ranks of waiting vehicles, and into it was lifted, +oh, so carefully! the inert form of the governess, and her head laid +upon Mrs. Newton's lap. + +Nan pressed close to the wheels. + +"Can't I go with her?" she whispered. + +Her companion gazed at her blankly for a moment. Then she seemed to +realize the question, and answered it. + +"No," she replied. "Get my machine, and--and hers, and see that some +one carries them back for us--some man will do it." + +Then without another word she turned her head away, and slowly, slowly +the carriage moved and began its snail's-pace journey townward. + +Nan looked helplessly about her. + +"Won't some one take the bicycles home?" she pleaded. + +She never knew who performed the office. She never cared. She gave +some stranger her address without the slightest interest as to whether +he was trustworthy or no, and then, mounting her own machine, she sped +home as fast as the wheels would turn. + +Thus it was that when the dreary little cavalcade reached home at last +everything was in readiness for its reception. + +There was no difficulty nor delay in getting upstairs, and in an +incredibly short time the place had assumed the air of hushed solemnity +that always seems to overhang the spot where illness is. + +Nan crouched outside the threshold of the sick-room and listened to the +low sounds within with a feeling of overwhelming guilt at her heart. +She dared not go in. + +At last the door was opened, and the physician stepped forward. He saw +Nan cowering in the gloom. + +"What is this?" he asked kindly. + +Nan dragged herself up painfully, as though her limbs had been made of +lead. + +"Have I--have I--killed her?" she managed to gasp. + +The doctor bent on her a pitying look. + +"Killed her?" he repeated. "I do not know what you mean. Do you mean +will she die? No, my child, not if we can help it--and God grant we +may. But it may be long, very long, before she is well. She has been +badly hurt, poor little soul!" + +Then followed a term of harrowing suspense. Nights when Nan thought +the sun had forgotten how to rise--so long they seemed and never ending. + +The fever that followed the first season of lethargy raged fierce and +hot for many a day, and the delirium that accompanied it was difficult +to quell. It seemed at times as though it must burn the patient's very +life away. It was during these days that Nan learned how much she had +caused her friend to suffer. What, in her moments of consciousness, +she had never permitted to pass her lips, now in these hours of +delirium she dwelt on and repeated over and over. It was of Nan, +always of Nan that she spoke. + +Nan must have this; Nan must not do that. It was her duty to protect +Nan and guard her. She followed the girl in perilous journeys; she +tried to guide her from dangerous courses. She betrayed her anxious +care for her in every word she uttered. And then sometimes she would +say something that Nan could not comprehend. + +"Florence's child!" she would murmur. "Florence's child!" and then she +would catch herself back with a sudden look of fear as though she had +betrayed a secret. + +"My mother's name was Florence," Nan would say brokenly. "But I don't +know what she means. She never knew my mother." + +At last came a change, and then Nan was excluded from the room. + +"You might excite her, and she must be carefully guarded against any +chance of that," the doctor said in explanation. + +But Nan was almost too happy to care. The first sound of the low, +sweet voice speaking intelligently sent a thrill of passionate +gratitude to her heart. + +How she and Delia plotted and planned for the invalid. How Nan made +the room to fairly blossom with the flowers that daily came pouring in +from all manner of strange and unexpected sources. + +"I never knew she had such lots of friends," the girl said one day to +Delia. + +The woman looked down at her with a flash of superior understanding in +her eyes. + +"She's a wise one," she said. "She goes her own way, and it's little +she asks of any one and it's less she says. But what she does ain't +little, I can tell you, Nan. I know of many a thing she's done for +those who, if they haven't got money, have the grateful hearts in them +to remember kindness and to love the one that shows it to them. Some +day you'll know her for what she is, and then you'll never strive +against her any more and you'll love her as many another has done +before you." + +The girl gazed straight into the woman's eyes. "I love her now, +Delia," she said. "I've loved her from the first minute--only I didn't +know it some of the time and the rest I was a horrid--little--beast, so +there!" + +Oh, the happy days that Nan spent in that quiet room above stairs. How +she grew to love it! The sunshine coming through the curtains and +making great patches of mellow light upon the floor seemed more bright +here than anywhere else. If it rained, this place was less dreary than +any other, and in sun or storm it was the only spot that Nan felt had +the power to quell her wayward mood when it rose against her will and +urged her back to her hoydenish exploits once more. + +Miss Blake, lying back against her snowy pillows, had a look of such +inexpressible sweetness to Nan that often and often the girl would +fling herself beside the bed with her arms about the fragile figure, +crying: + +"Oh, you dear, you dear! how I love you!" and then the other, with a +very happy smile would invariably answer, "And I you, Nan." + +It was all understood between them now. Pardon had been humbly asked +and freely granted, and there was now only the remaining regret of +impending separation; the dread of the parting that was to come. + +At one time they had thought that it would occur within a few weeks' +time, and the joy that Nan felt in her father's return was overshadowed +by the grief she experienced in the coming loss of her friend. + +But now the date of Mr. Cutler's home-coming had been postponed. He +would leave Bombay as he had at first intended, but business would +detain him in London, and he could not expect to reach home until that +was completed--so Mr. Turner said. + +Thus Nan had to reconcile herself to her disappointment and the +indefiniteness of her father's return, in the thought that if her +meeting with him was deferred, why, so was her parting from Miss Blake. + +The weeks that passed before the governess was fairly convalescent had +brought them well into November. They had been busy, helpful weeks for +Nan. In her thought for her friend's comfort she had unconsciously +learned a lesson in gentleness and patience that nothing else could +have taught her. Her voice grew lower, her step lighter, and the touch +of her fingers more delicate. All this could never have been +accomplished in such a short space by ordinary means, but Love is a +magical teacher and he instructed her in his art. + +As the dear invalid grew stronger Nan tried to beguile the long hours +by reading aloud to her from her favorite authors, sage philosophers, +wise poets, and tender tale-tellers. Sometimes she did not at all +comprehend the meaning of the pages she read, but Miss Blake was always +ready to give her "a lift" over the hardest places, and to her surprise +she grew really to love these serious books, and to get an insight into +the beauty of their character. + +Once in awhile she would take up the daily paper to give her friend an +idea of "what was going on in the world," seriously reading discussions +about this "bill" or that "question" with absolutely no conception of +what the whole thing was about. + +One day, it was during the last of November, she sat before the fire in +the governess' room feeling especially contented and placidly happy. +Miss Blake, safely ensconced among her cushions, was cozily sipping a +cup of bouillon. + +The room was very still. + +Suddenly Nan jumped to her feet, and, clasping her hands high over her +head, said, with a luxurious sort of yawn: + +"Oh--my! How I'm liking it nowadays. Things are so sort of sweet and +cozy. Do you s'pose it's too good to last? Do you s'pose it has +anything to do with my trying to be good and not letting my 'angry +passions rise'?" + +The governess nodded her head, but made no other reply and after an +instant Nan slipped to the floor again, and, sitting Turk-fashion +beside her companion's knee, considered how possible it would have been +for Miss Blake to have taken that occasion to lecture her on the past +error of her ways. But she had learned that it was not the governess' +way to preach. That nod was as eloquent as a sermon to Nan, and she +understood it perfectly. + +"Shall I read you something from 'The Tribune'?" she asked, after a +moment's musing. And she took up the paper and began searching for the +editorial page. When she had found it she set about reading the first +leader that came to hand, quite regardless of whether it would prove +interesting to her auditor or not. The fact that it was unintelligible +to her seemed a sort of guarantee, in her mind, that it would be +interesting to Miss Blake. She read on and on until both her breath +and the column itself came to a stop. + +"You poor child," said the governess affectionately. "Don't read +another word of that. How stupid it must be for you. Here, take this +book of dear Mary Wilkins. We can both of us understand her, and she +will do us both good. You need not victimize yourself a moment longer, +dear Nannie." + +But Nan, radiant with good humor, felt a sort of glory in just such +self-victimizing. She searched through the page for further +unintelligible text. + +All at once she paused and read a few lines to herself. Then she burst +into a laugh. + +"Here's something about a man who has such a funny name. It's James +Murty, alias Dan Divver, alias Shaughnessy. What a last +name--Shaughnessy! And why was he called alias twice over, Miss Blake? +I didn't know one could have the same name more than once. It seems +awfully expensive--I mean extravagant." Miss Blake laughed. + +"You are thinking of Elias, Nan. This man's name is not Elias. Alias +is pronounced differently, and is not a name at all, but a word +signifying otherwise, or otherwise called. It means that the man has +gone under those different titles. And I don't think I care to hear +what it has to say about the gentleman, dear. He probably isn't just +the sort of person whose exploits would make fair reading." + +"Is he bad?" asked Nan. + +"I should gather, from his names, that his existence had been somewhat +checkered," replied the governess with a twinkle in her eye. + +"Is it wicked to go under other names than your own?" + +Miss Blake flushed as she bent forward to place her empty cup upon the +table by her side. She was far from strong yet; the slightest exertion +brought the blood to her cheeks. + +"Not necessarily," she said. "But as a general rule people whose lives +have been simple and upright do not need to live under an assumed name. +Of course there might be exceptional cases--and there is a difference +between an alias and an incognito." + +"What's an incognito?" questioned Nan. + +"Why, if a person of rank or importance travels through a country and +wishes to escape publicity, he often does so incognito--that is, +unknown. He will drop his official title and take his family name or +part of his family name with a simple prefix. For instance, a king +might care to be known as the Duke of So-and-so; a Duke as Mr. ----, +whatever his surname chanced to be. That would not be wicked and it +would not be an alias. And sometimes people who are not nobles find it +desirable to remain unrecognized for a time. Take it for granted that +I was not, in reality, a governess at all; I mean that I was not forced +by circumstances to take such a position, but that I for some reason +chose to assume it. That I cared to come here and be with you because +I had known and loved your parents long ago and wished to do my best +for their child. Then suppose I did not care to disclose my identity +to--to--people because of--well, no matter--I simply came here giving +you but part of my name--not the whole, why it might not be a wise +course, but it certainly could not be called a wicked." + +"Oh, how I wish you had," cried Nan. "It would be splendid fun. Just +like a princess in disguise and things. Say you aren't a governess and +that your name isn't Blake. Oh, please do. It'll be just like +fairy-stories if you will." + +"How can I, dear, when I am and it is?" replied the governess, slowly. +"I am no princess in disguise, I assure you. I am simply a very +prosaic little woman and your devoted friend. I don't think I could +possibly discover anything at all resembling a fairy-tale in my life. +But some time, perhaps, when you are older, and when--I mean, if we +meet again, I will tell you all there is to tell about myself--that is, +if you care to listen. It will not be exciting--but you might care to +know it." + +"Oh, I would, I would!" the girl exclaimed heartily. "But I hate to +have you talk of 'if we meet again.' Why, we must, Miss Blake. Don't +you know I couldn't live and know I wasn't to see you any more? It's +like the most awful thing that could happen to have you go way at all, +and the only way I can bear it is thinking of how we'll see each other +often and often. Why, my father will be so thankful to you for taking +such care of me! I guess he won't know what to do. And when you see +him and find how good he is, you won't be afraid a bit. You'll just as +lief stay here as not. He's the best, the dearest--oh, you couldn't +help but like my father." + +A soft hand patted her head in loving appreciation, but not one word +said the governess, and the two sat together in silence for some time +thinking rather sober thoughts, until the sound of the door-bell broke +in upon the stillness and brought Nan to her feet and sent her flying +to the balusters to peep over and discover who the late caller might be. + +"It's Mr. Turner, and he asked for you," she said, coming back into the +room and bending to gather up the scattered news sheets that strewed +the floor. "He looked as solemn as an owl, and he asked for you in a +voice that made me feel ever so queer--it was so trembly." + +"He may be cold," suggested Miss Blake. + +She rose and settled the pillows upon the divan. She would have to +receive her guest up here. She was not yet permitted to venture below. +She and Nan stood ready to receive him as he entered the room, and +after the first greetings the girl was about to sit down beside her +friend when the lawyer said abruptly: + +"My dear, I must ask you to permit me to talk to Miss Blake alone +to-day. I have some private business to transact with her. You will +pardon me for asking you to leave us." + +Nan rose immediately with a smile of good-natured understanding, but as +she turned to leave the room she saw that the face of the governess was +deathly white, and she ran back to her, crying: + +"What is it; oh, what is it? Are you faint? Let me get you something." + +She was in a sudden bewilderment of alarm. Miss Blake gently put her +aside, saying calmly, + +"Why, nothing is the matter, Nan. Nothing at all, my dear. I am +strong and well now, you know. Quite strong and well. You must not +make Mr. Turner think I am ill, else he will go away again, and I shall +not know what he has to say to me. I am quite able to hear--whatever +it is. So go away, dear." + +The girl obeyed, and the next moment the door had closed behind her, +and only the sound of her voice from without, singing in happy +reassurance, broke the stillness of the room where the lawyer and the +governess stood facing each other silently. + + + + +CHAPTER XX + +THROUGH DEEP WATERS + +Mr. Turner was the first to speak. "Sit down," he said kindly. "You +must not stand." + +Miss Blake sank into her place upon the divan, but she did not lean +back. She sat stiffly upright, nervously locking and unlocking her +fingers in her lap and compressing her lips tightly, but asking no +questions--saying no word. + +The lawyer drew a chair beside her and slowly, deliberately seated +himself in it. + +"You remember," he began at length, in a hesitating sort of way, "that +I told you some time ago that I had some reason to fear that affairs +were not prospering at Bombay. I wish to come to the point at once; to +spare you all suspense. I am afraid Mr. Cutler is in some serious +difficulty, and--" + +He paused. The governess leaned forward, and her breath came quickly. + +"Go on," she whispered. + +"For some time past his letters have been most unsatisfactory. He has +seemed depressed and discouraged. What word I have received from him +during the past few months has been of such a character as to lead one +to form the gravest suspicions. His letters have been short and +hurried--written, evidently, under great mental strain. And latterly +they have ceased altogether. For the last two months, ever since you +have been ill, I have heard literally nothing from him. His plan was +to leave Bombay in September. That he kept to his original purpose I +have no reason to doubt. He was on the steamer, or, at least, his name +was on its passenger list. Of course while you were so ill I could say +nothing to you of this--besides I had only my suspicions then. But as +time passed, and no communication from him reached me I grew +apprehensive. Within the last two weeks I have sent numberless +dispatches to him to his London address, but not one of them has +received a reply--in fact, no one of them has been delivered to him. +The people there do not know where he is. I have cabled to Bombay, +thinking he might have been detained there unexpectedly, but that, too, +has proved of no avail. The Bombay house know nothing of his +whereabouts. He left them as he intended to do in September, and since +then they have heard from him as little as I." + +Miss Blake's eager eyes seemed to search the lawyer through and +through. He shifted uneasily in his place. + +"It is very difficult to go on," he said, with a nervous, constrained +cough. + +"Quick! Quick!" whispered the governess. "Tell me everything +now--this minute. Tell me! Tell me!" + +"There is little more to tell," said Mr. Turner sadly. "This afternoon +I received a wire from his London banker, and it seems--that--he, +William Cutler, is--is--dead." + +There was a low cry. Miss Blake had leaped to her feet at his words, +and now she was swaying forward as though too faint to stand. The +lawyer sprang forward to save her from falling, but she pushed him away +with both hands almost savagely. + +"No, no!" she gasped. "I am strong. I am strong. But--God pity us! +My poor little Nan--and--oh, my poor little Nan!" + +She sank back upon the divan and buried her face in her outstretched +arms. + +The lawyer rose and went to the window. + +Outside the wind blew drearily. The bare trees showed but dimly +through the gathering dusk. It was a bleak, cold outlook. Presently +down the street came a man with a lighted torch and set the gas-flames +to flickering in every lamp along his way. + +Mr. Turner watched him until he had passed out of sight--then he turned +about and came back to the sofa once more. + +Miss Blake had raised her head and sat staring blankly before her, +dry-eyed, but with an expression far sadder than tears; the dull, +lifeless look of helpless misery that has not yet been touched with +submission. + +"Shall I leave you now?" asked the lawyer softly. "Perhaps you would +rather be alone. I can come again--whenever you wish. Perhaps it +would be better for me to come again when you are stronger--better able +to bear it." + +She turned her large eyes upon him in a sort of mute supplication. All +the light had gone out of them now. Mr. Turner reseated himself and +continued: + +"He died in a hospital in London of a malignant fever. No one saw him. +He was buried within twenty-four hours, I presume according to the law +in such cases. Of course, I have no particulars, only the barest +outline of facts. Undoubtedly I shall receive a letter by the next +steamer, giving details. It is all desperately sad--heart-breakingly +sad. Poor fellow! So young and to die alone among strangers." + +Miss Blake stretched out her hands supplicatingly. + +"Don't," she pleaded. + +"Shall I tell Nan?" Mr. Turner asked after a moment. "Perhaps it would +be better if I should. You have undergone enough." + +"No, no!" she cried. "No one must tell her but myself. But first I +must talk to you about--about--you know when I came here I had reasons +for wishing her not to know who I was. Now I will tell her. There is +no more need to withhold anything. Delia always knew--from the +first--but she never told Nan and she never would have told. But that +is all over now. There is no need for secrecy any more. And I will +stay with her. I will keep her with me always. She has no one else +now, and I--I--I am free to do as I please. If--if he has left her +unprovided for, why, that shall make no difference to her. I have +plenty and she shall share it with me. She shall never feel the care +or want of anything that I can supply. Ah, Mr. Turner, I am glad I +came. It has been hard, but I am glad I came." + +She broke down completely. Her frail figure shook with shuddering sobs. + +But she was not a woman to give way long, and in a moment she regained +her self-control. + +"I must have time to think," she said. "Everything seems so changed +and strange. I scarcely know where I stand. The suddenness of it has +been so horrible. I suppose he must have been ill for a long time--too +ill to write. And by and by when they took him to the hospital he must +have been unconscious, and so they could not communicate with his +friends. That would account for it all, his not writing nor receiving +the dispatches--and his friends not knowing where he was." + +Mr. Turner nodded. Then he rose. + +"I will leave you now," he said. "You are completely worn out. If you +will take my advice you will defer telling Nan until tomorrow. I fear +the strain will prove too great for you." + +She smiled faintly. + +"Oh, no," she replied. "I am stronger than you think. But the child +shall not be told tonight. I will leave her in peace for one night +longer. I will let her get one more good night's rest. Then +to-morrow, when she is refreshed and strengthened by her sleep she can +learn it all." + +The lawyer held out his hand. "This has been one of the hardest trials +of my life," he said. "But you have helped me by your bravery and +fortitude. I thank you from my heart. Good night!" and in a moment he +was gone. + +That evening Miss Blake bade Delia take Nan to the Andrews'. She wrote +a short note to Ruth's mother in which she begged her to keep the girl +through the evening and make her as happy as she could. She briefly +stated the reason for her request. + +Nan knew that something was being kept from her but she never suspected +what. She fancied it must be connected with Miss Blake's private +affairs, and she asked no questions. When she reached the Andrews' her +exuberant spirits reasserted themselves and she spent a gay evening +with Ruth, Mrs. Andrews leading in the fun and seeing that no one +passed a dull moment. They played all sorts of games, and then finally +Bridget appeared with the crowning delight, a tray upon which a +tempting array of good things was set forth. How Nan enjoyed it! She +often thought afterward what a happy evening it was. At ten o'clock +Delia called for her and she went home through the still night, +thinking all sorts of merry thoughts. Miss Blake listened with +apparent interest to her description of her evening's jollification, +and when she had finished gave her an especially tender good-night +kiss, saying: + +"God bless you, my Nan. Sleep well, dear, and let us both pray for +strength to bear God's will." + +The next morning after breakfast Nan discovered why Miss Blake had bade +her especially to pray for strength. + +Poor child! She felt so utterly weak and helpless in her misery. At +first she could scarcely realize what had befallen her and she kept +insisting, "It isn't my father that has died. It is some one else. +How can I feel that he isn't alive? He can't be dead! He isn't! He +isn't! Why, only yesterday I was expecting he would soon be home. +It's some other man who hasn't got a daughter that loves him so." + +But by and by she grew desperate in her wretchedness and then it took +all Miss Blake's influence to restrain her from really wearing herself +out in the abandon of her grief. + +But by evening the house was quiet. Nan's loud sobbing had ceased and +she lay quite still and exhausted, stretched upon the divan in Miss +Blake's room, with her throbbing head in the governess' lap. A tender +hand stroked her disheveled hair, a tender voice spoke words of comfort +to her, and she was soothed and solaced by both. + +"Shall I tell you a story, Nan?" asked Miss Blake at length. + +The girl gave a silent nod of assent. + +"Well, once upon a time," began the governess in a gentle monotone, +"there lived two girls and they were friends. They loved each other +dearly. One was tall and fair and beautiful, and the other was small +and dark, and if people ever thought her even pretty it was because +love lighted their kind eyes and made it seem that what they looked +upon was sweet. + +"The first girl had father and mother and a happy home. The second was +an orphan, having nothing to remind her of the parents she had lost +when she was a baby but the fortune they had left her. She never knew +what love meant until she met her beautiful friend. Then she learned. +Oh, how those two girls loved each other! When Florence, the beautiful +one, found that Isabel had no home she pleaded with her parents to take +her into theirs, and they not only took her to their home but to their +hearts as well. And so she and her dear friend grew up together like +sisters, and the little lonely girl was not lonely any more, but very, +very happy among those she loved. Well, time went on, and by and by +when the two girls had become quite young women, the first more +beautiful than ever, the other a little less plain, maybe, something +happened that, in the end, caused them to be separated forever. + +"God sent into their lives the self-same experience and into their +hearts the self-same thought. It was a beautiful experience and a +beautiful thought, but if it was to mean happiness for one, it must be +at the cost of grief to the other. Perhaps it was because they both +knew this that neither of them told her secret. But presently it was +decided which was to have the happiness. It came to the one who +expected it least--who had the least right to expect it. It came to +Isabel, and for a moment she thought she might accept it. But it was +only for a moment. Then she knew that she must relinquish it. It +would have been base, would it not, my Nan, to have defrauded the +friend who had done so much for her? And so she, Isabel, left the +house that had been her home for so many years, and quite solitary and +alone sailed across the sea to the other side of the world, and there +she stayed for--well, over a dozen years, my dear. + +"It was soon after she went away that your mother--I mean Florence--was +married. Isabel heard of it and was glad. And later, when she learned +that a dear little daughter had been born to Florence, she was happier +still. But then came sad news. Oh, such sad news! The beautiful +young mother died, died and left her little baby girl behind her with +only the poor father to take care of it. + +"Then, after that, Isabel heard nothing more for a long, long time, for +Florence's good parents were dead and her husband and Isabel +were--well, not at enmity, Nan, but not at peace together. It was all +owing to a misunderstanding, but that did not alter it. They were not +friends and Isabel was too proud to write and ask him whether all went +well with him and the little daughter or whether she might perhaps help +to care for the child. And so years passed and then one day Isabel +felt that she could remain away from America no longer. All the time +there had been a great longing in her heart to return, but she had +tried to smother it and tell herself that she had no Fatherland; that +America was no more to her than any of the strange countries she had +lived in; that her acquaintances abroad were as much to her as her +friends at home. But, as I say, by and by she could resist her desire +no longer, and so one day she set sail for America--I think it must +have been after she had been absent for quite fourteen years--and oh! +how her heart beat when she saw the dear land once more. Well, I must +make my story short, Nan, so I will not tell you how it came about that +she first heard that Florence's little daughter had grown into a tall +girl; that she was living in the old house where Isabel had spent so +many happy years; that her father had gone to some far Eastern country +and left her in the charge of a faithful servant of her mother's who +had loved them all in days gone by. But she learned all this and more +beside and then something told her that it was her duty to go to +Florence's child and care for her and show her as well as she might how +to be a noble, true, and lovely woman, as her mother had been before +her. So she went to the little girl as governess and at first the +child was opposed to her, but by and by she--I really think she grew to +love her almost as much as the governess loved the child. And all this +time the father never knew who was caring for his girl because in the +letters that went to him the governess was spoken of by but part of her +name. She chose to live incognito, you know what that is, Nan, because +she feared if he knew who was serving his child as governess he would +write to her in his proud fashion and say: + +"No; I need no one to care for my daughter for love. Whomever I employ +I will pay. You are a wealthy woman. You need not work for money. My +few poor dollars are nothing to you. Besides--" + +"And then I think, Nan, he would have referred to the old disagreement +and it would all have been very painful, and she would have had to go +away and been lonely ever after and have left undone her duty to +Florence's child. So she lived quietly in the old house with the +little girl and the servant and all went well for a year and +then--well, then, dear Nan, I think I need not tell what happened then. +But, oh, my dear, you are my own little girl--Florence's child and I +loved her, ah! I loved her so. For her sake you are mine now. Never +say that you are 'all alone' again. I have taken you as a sacred +trust. Come to me, Nan, for I am lonely too, I am lonely too." + + + + +CHAPTER XXI + +ANOTHER CHRISTMAS + +It was Christmas eve. Nan was sitting before the dining-room fire +curled up in a huge arm chair thinking. Her pale face had grown +wonderfully sweet during the last few weeks; the curves about her mouth +had softened; her eyes had lost their keen sparkle and gained a softer +light instead. She seemed to have undergone a complete transformation, +and any one seeing the headstrong hoyden of the year before would have +found it difficult to recognize her in this gentle-mannered girl with +her serene brow and patient eyes, to whom suffering had taught so hard +a lesson. Her black dress and her parted hair gave her a wonderfully +meek look. But Nan was not meek. She was merely controlled. The same +hot passions still rose in her breast, but she tried to restrain them +now. + +This evening she was thinking over all that had happened during the +past year; especially she was trying to project her thoughts into the +future, and to imagine what would occur in the years to come. She had +not yet become accustomed to the idea of life without her father. It +seemed to her that he must be alive, and she often waked up in the +night from such a vivid dream of him that it seemed as though he really +stood beside her, and that she might feel his hand if she stretched +forth her own in the dark. It was difficult to reconcile herself to +living without the hope of his return; it was hard to convince herself +that she must never look forward to receiving a letter from him again. +But she knew it must be accomplished, and the effort would help to make +a noble woman of her. + +As she sat there in the dim room, with only the fire to light it, she +wondered whether anything could make of her as noble a woman as was her +"Aunt Isabel." In her heart she felt not. Aunt Isabel was simply +perfect in the girl's sight, and if she could ever have been brought to +doubt her perfection, why, there was Delia to prove it with her +emphatic: + +"No, ma'am! There ain't no one in this world like her. She is the +best, the generousest, the most self-sacrificin' soul on earth--that +she is, and I've known her ever since she was a child. If any one was +to ask me the name of the woman I've most call to honor an' love, I'd +say 'twas Isabel Blake Severance an' never stop a minute to think it +over." + +And both Nan and Delia had long ago decided that while other women +might be more beautiful, no one could have softer, sunnier hair than +Aunt Isabel, nor truer, tenderer eyes, nor a prettier nose nor a +sweeter mouth. And Nan was quite confident that if one hunted the +whole globe over one could not find dimples more entirely winning nor +hands whose touch was so absolutely soothing and soft. + +But Miss Severance could never be brought to admit these important +facts, though Nan often sought to convince her of their truth. She was +too busy a woman to have time to think whether she were beautiful or +not. + +"Good is the thing," she would say, in her brisk fashion. "If I can +look in the glass and see the reflection of a good woman there, I have +no right to regret that she is not a beautiful one." + +Just now she was upstairs, busied with some matter of mysterious +importance from which Nan was excluded. She and Delia had been shut +into her room all the afternoon. Nan had ample time and opportunity +for the manufacture of her own Christmas gifts, Aunt Isabel being so +much occupied, behind closed door, with hers. + +For quite a time now Nan had been forced to station herself in the +regions below stairs, where she would hear the bell if it rang, so that +Delia might be free to give all her attention to Miss Severance. +Evidently great things were in operation above. Nan wondered what it +could all be about. + +Christmas had lost much of its joyousness this year, but still there +was a little flavor of merriment left. Aunt Isabel had no sympathy +with the hark-from-the-tombs-a-doleful-sound attitude. She thought it +was one's duty to be as cheery and hopeful as possible, and not to add +to the misery of the world at large by forcing it to witness one's +private grief. She and Nan had their hours of tender mourning and +sincere regret, but it was always Miss Severance's desire that no +unwholesome brooding should be indulged in by either of them. + +So the girl tried to restrain the tears that would rise at the thought +of these saddened holidays, and endeavored to bring her mind to bear on +more happy subjects. She thought of her plans for the next day; she +made a mental recount of the gifts she had prepared, and then, somehow +against her will, her memory took her back to that morning when she had +heard of her father's death and listened to Miss Severance's story, and +she lived over again those intense moments when it almost seemed to her +her mother had been restored to her in this rare friend. The simple +history had a peculiar fascination for the girl, and she liked to think +that it was here, in these very rooms, that it all had been enacted. + +She liked to look into those books of Miss Severance's that had her +mother's name upon the fly-leaf, and she liked to think that they were +given to "Bell with Florence's fond love." + +Miss Severance had several photographs of her mother as a girl that Nan +had never seen, and she was fond of looking them over and exclaiming at +the "old-fashioned" frocks and quaintly arranged hair, and wondering +whether this happy-looking girl ever discovered the sacrifice her +friend had made for her. + +One day Nan asked Miss Severance as much, but Aunt Isabel had shaken +her head gravely and said: + +"No, Nan, she never did. And don't think of that part of the story, my +dear. It was no more than I ought to have done. You must not make a +piece of heroism of it. I only told it to you because unless I had, it +would have been difficult to explain why I left her and went so far +away." + +"Aunt Isabel," Nan said, "won't you tell me just what it was you gave +up?" But Miss Severance shook her head. + +What the girl could not at all comprehend was the fact of any one's +being "not at peace" with Aunt Isabel. Aunt Isabel, who never was +unjust nor unkind, nor anything but generous and good to every one. +She thought if she could have spoken to her father she could have +convinced him that he was mistaken about Aunt Isabel. But that was +impossible now. Her father--again the hot tears came surging up, and +her breast began to heave. + +Suddenly she started. What was that? She jumped to her feet. +Somebody was turning the knob of the street door and fitting a key in +the lock. At first it was her impulse to cry out, but she mastered +herself and ran quickly through the parlor and stood bravely on the +threshold waiting for the door to open and admit the intruder. Her +heart beat like a trip-hammer in her side, and the pulses in her wrists +and temples throbbed painfully. She saw the door move inward, she felt +the rush of cold outer air upon her face, and then-- + +In a moment she was locked in two strong arms, her head was pressed +against a dear, broad chest, and she was crying "Father! Father!" in a +perfect ecstasy of rapture and a tempest of tears. + +For a few moments neither of them said a single word. They just clung +to each other and wept--the strong man as well as the slender girl. + +They seemed to lose all other thought in the joy of the meeting. Then +somehow they found themselves in the library, and Nan, still sobbing +for very happiness, was listening to her father as he told her how, for +many months, he had been ill, but had tried to fight it off and +overcome it, because he was so anxious to get home, and he could not +bear to think he might be prevented. Then, just before his ship +sailed, and after he had enrolled himself among the list of passengers, +and bidden good-bye to those he knew, he was stricken down and for +weeks lay unconscious, between life and death, as utterly unbefriended +as though he had been in the midst of a wilderness. How he came to +recover he never knew, but it seemed as though his great longing for +home gave him strength to battle through the dreadful fever. Then, +almost too feeble to stand, he was taken to the ship and borne to +England, his body weak from suffering, but his heart strong with hope. + +The voyage was a severe one, and before he reached London he had a +relapse, so that when they entered port he had to be carried ashore, +and, too ill to know or care what happened to him, was taken to a +lodging-house and nursed back to health once more by the keeper +herself, whose son was the steward of the ship on which he had crossed. + +"You can fancy, Nannie, that I had only one thought all that time--to +get back to you. The first move I was able to make was to the ship, +and I sailed without having seen or spoken to a soul I knew in London. +Then on board I met a friend, who told me of the report of my death, +and I knew that you must have heard it. The people at the bank would +communicate with Turner, I felt sure. Ah, what days those were! It +seemed as though we should never reach land. But we got in to-day, and +you can imagine that I have not lost one moment in coming to you, +sweetheart. But how my girl has changed. Grown so tall and womanly. +I'm afraid I've lost my little Wildfire. But the girl I've found in +her stead is a hundred times dearer." + +Then Nan clung to him again and they were very happy, feeling how good +God was, and how very blessed it felt to be together. + +For a while they both stopped talking and sat quite still, holding +hands, while each heart offered up a prayer of gratitude. + +They did not hear an upper door open, nor did they notice a light +footstep in the hall above. But at the sound of a gentle voice calling +"Nan!" they both started up, and the girl's grasp of her father's hand +tightened, for she felt him suddenly start and tremble. She tried to +answer but could not for the joy she felt and the quick fear of this +other loss she would have to suffer now. + +"Nan!" + +Still the girl could not reply, though she tried, and her father's face +had grown rigid and white, as though it were carved in marble. + +Then down the stairs and through the hall came Aunt Isabel, stopping at +the threshold of the dining-room door for a moment to accustom her eyes +to the dimness within. + +There she stood--the bright light from the hall lamp falling full upon +her head and the ruddy glow of the fire illuminating her face. + +Nan caught up her father's hand, for she felt him suddenly shrink and +falter. + +The little figure in the doorway neither stirred or moved. + +For an instant there was perfect silence in the room, and then Nan saw +her father stride forward with a look of the most wonderful happiness +upon his face, and heard him utter one word in a tone that set her +heart to beating. + +"Bell!" + +And somehow then she knew it all. In one brief flash she read the +whole story, and she saw that it was to be completed at last, and that +the loss she had feared she would not know at all, but something +infinitely happier and more sweet. + + +THE END + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Governess, by Julie M. Lippmann + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GOVERNESS *** + +***** This file should be named 23778-8.txt or 23778-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/2/3/7/7/23778/ + +Produced by Al Haines + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you +do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the +rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose +such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and +research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do +practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is +subject to the trademark license, especially commercial +redistribution. + + + +*** START: FULL LICENSE *** + +THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE +PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK + +To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free +distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work +(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project +Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project +Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at +https://gutenberg.org/license). + + +Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic works + +1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to +and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property +(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all +the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy +all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. +If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the +terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or +entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. + +1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be +used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who +agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few +things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works +even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See +paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement +and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. See paragraph 1.E below. + +1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" +or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the +collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an +individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are +located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from +copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative +works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg +are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project +Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by +freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of +this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with +the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by +keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project +Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. + +1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern +what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in +a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check +the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement +before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or +creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project +Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning +the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United +States. + +1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: + +1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate +access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently +whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the +phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project +Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, +copied or distributed: + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + +1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived +from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is +posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied +and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees +or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work +with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the +work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 +through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the +Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or +1.E.9. + +1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted +with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution +must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional +terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked +to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the +permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. + +1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this +work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. + +1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this +electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without +prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with +active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project +Gutenberg-tm License. + +1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, +compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any +word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or +distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than +"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version +posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), +you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a +copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon +request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other +form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. + +1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, +performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works +unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. + +1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing +access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided +that + +- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from + the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method + you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is + owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he + has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the + Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments + must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you + prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax + returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and + sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the + address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to + the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies + you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he + does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm + License. You must require such a user to return or + destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium + and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of + Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any + money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the + electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days + of receipt of the work. + +- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free + distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set +forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from +both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael +Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the +Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. + +1.F. + +1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable +effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread +public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm +collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain +"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual +property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a +computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by +your equipment. + +1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right +of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project +Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all +liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal +fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT +LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE +PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE +TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE +LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR +INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH +DAMAGE. + +1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a +defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can +receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a +written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you +received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with +your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with +the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a +refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity +providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to +receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy +is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further +opportunities to fix the problem. + +1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth +in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO +WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. + +1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied +warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. +If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the +law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be +interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by +the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any +provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. + +1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the +trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone +providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance +with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, +promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, +harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, +that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do +or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm +work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any +Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. + + +Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm + +Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of +electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers +including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists +because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from +people in all walks of life. + +Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the +assistance they need, is critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's +goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will +remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure +and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. +To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 +and the Foundation web page at https://www.pglaf.org. + + +Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive +Foundation + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit +501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the +state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal +Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification +number is 64-6221541. Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at +https://pglaf.org/fundraising. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent +permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. + +The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. +Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered +throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at +809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email +business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact +information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official +page at https://pglaf.org + +For additional contact information: + Dr. Gregory B. Newby + Chief Executive and Director + gbnewby@pglaf.org + + +Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation + +Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide +spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of +increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be +freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest +array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations +($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt +status with the IRS. + +The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating +charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United +States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a +considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up +with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations +where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To +SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any +particular state visit https://pglaf.org + +While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we +have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition +against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who +approach us with offers to donate. + +International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make +any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from +outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. + +Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation +methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other +ways including including checks, online payments and credit card +donations. To donate, please visit: https://pglaf.org/donate + + +Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. + +Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm +concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared +with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project +Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. + + +Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + https://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. diff --git a/23778-8.zip b/23778-8.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..f293bea --- /dev/null +++ b/23778-8.zip diff --git a/23778-h.zip b/23778-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..209fbd0 --- /dev/null +++ b/23778-h.zip diff --git a/23778-h/23778-h.htm b/23778-h/23778-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4923ae5 --- /dev/null +++ b/23778-h/23778-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,12409 @@ +<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN"> +<HTML> +<HEAD> + +<META HTTP-EQUIV="Content-Type" CONTENT="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1"> + +<TITLE> +The Governess +</TITLE> + +<STYLE TYPE="text/css"> +BODY { color: Black; + background: White; + margin-right: 5%; + margin-left: 10%; + font-size: medium; + font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; + text-align: justify } + +P {text-indent: 4% } + +P.noindent {text-indent: 0% } + +P.poem {text-indent: 0%; + margin-left: 10%; + font-size: small } + +P.letter {font-size: small ; + margin-left: 10% ; + margin-right: 10% } + +P.salutation {font-size: small ; + text-indent: 0%; + margin-left: 10% ; + margin-right: 10% } + +P.closing {font-size: small ; + text-indent: 0%; + margin-left: 10% ; + margin-right: 10% } + +P.footnote {font-size: small ; + text-indent: 0% ; + margin-left: 0% ; + margin-right: 0% } + +P.transnote {font-size: small ; + text-indent: 0% ; + margin-left: 0% ; + margin-right: 0% } + +P.index {font-size: small ; + text-indent: -5% ; + margin-left: 5% ; + margin-right: 0% } + +P.intro {font-size: medium ; + text-indent: -5% ; + margin-left: 5% ; + margin-right: 0% } + +P.dedication {text-indent: 0%; + margin-left: 15%; + text-align: justify } + +P.published {font-size: small ; + text-indent: 0% ; + margin-left: 15% } + +P.quote {font-size: small ; + text-indent: 4% ; + margin-left: 0% ; + margin-right: 0% } + +P.report {font-size: small ; + text-indent: 4% ; + margin-left: 0% ; + margin-right: 0% } + +P.report2 {font-size: small ; + text-indent: 4% ; + margin-left: 10% ; + margin-right: 10% } + +P.finis { text-align: center ; + text-indent: 0% ; + margin-left: 0% ; + margin-right: 0% } + +H3.h3left { margin-left: 0%; + margin-right: 1%; + margin-bottom: .5% ; + margin-top: 0; + float: left ; + clear: left ; + text-align: center } + +H3.h3right { margin-left: 1%; + margin-right: 0 ; + margin-bottom: .5% ; + margin-top: 0; + float: right ; + clear: right ; + text-align: center } + +H3.h3center { margin-left: 0; + margin-right: 0 ; + margin-bottom: .5% ; + margin-top: 0; + float: none ; + clear: both ; + text-align: center } + +H4.h4left { margin-left: 0%; + margin-right: 1%; + margin-bottom: .5% ; + margin-top: 0; + float: left ; + clear: left ; + text-align: center } + +H4.h4right { margin-left: 1%; + margin-right: 0 ; + margin-bottom: .5% ; + margin-top: 0; + float: right ; + clear: right ; + text-align: center } + +H4.h4center { margin-left: 0; + margin-right: 0 ; + margin-bottom: .5% ; + margin-top: 0; + float: none ; + clear: both ; + text-align: center } + +H5.h5left { margin-left: 0%; + margin-right: 1%; + margin-bottom: .5% ; + margin-top: 0; + float: left ; + clear: left ; + text-align: center } + +H5.h5right { margin-left: 1%; + margin-right: 0 ; + margin-bottom: .5% ; + margin-top: 0; + float: right ; + clear: right ; + text-align: center } + +H5.h5center { margin-left: 0; + margin-right: 0 ; + margin-bottom: .5% ; + margin-top: 0; + float: none ; + clear: both ; + text-align: center } + +IMG.imgleft { float: left; + clear: left; + margin-left: 0; + margin-bottom: 0; + margin-top: 1%; + margin-right: 1%; + padding: 0; + text-align: center } + +IMG.imgright {float: right; + clear: right; + margin-left: 1%; + margin-bottom: 0; + margin-top: 1%; + margin-right: 0; + padding: 0; + text-align: center } + +IMG.imgcenter { margin-left: auto; + margin-bottom: 0; + margin-top: 1%; + margin-right: auto; } + +.pagenum { position: absolute; + left: 1%; + font-size: 95%; + text-align: left; + text-indent: 0; + font-style: normal; + font-weight: normal; + font-variant: normal; } + +.sidenote { left: 0%; + font-size: 65%; + text-align: left; + text-indent: 0%; + width: 17%; + float: left; + clear: left; + padding-left: 0%; + padding-right: 2%; + padding-top: 2%; + padding-bottom: 2%; + font-style: normal; + font-weight: normal; + font-variant: normal; } + + + +</STYLE> + +</HEAD> + +<BODY> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Governess, by Julie M. Lippmann + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Governess + +Author: Julie M. Lippmann + +Illustrator: Charles R. Chickering + +Release Date: December 9, 2007 [EBook #23778] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GOVERNESS *** + + + + +Produced by Al Haines + + + + + +</pre> + + +<A NAME="img-front"></A> +<CENTER> +<IMG CLASS="imgcenter" SRC="images/img-front.jpg" ALT="There she stood" BORDER="2" WIDTH="406" HEIGHT="585"> +<H3 CLASS="h3center" STYLE="width: 406px"> +There she stood +</H3> +</CENTER> + +<BR><BR> + +<H1 ALIGN="center"> +THE GOVERNESS +</H1> + +<BR> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +BY +</H3> + +<H2 ALIGN="center"> +JULIE M. LIPPMANN +</H2> + +<BR><BR> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +<I>Author of</I> +<BR> +"MAMMA-BY-THE-DAY," etc. +</H3> + +<BR><BR> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +<I>Illustrated by</I> +<BR> +CHARLES R. CHICKERING +</H3> + +<BR><BR> + +<H4 ALIGN="center"> +McClelland, Goodchild & Stewart +<BR> +Publishers ——— Toronto +<BR> +1916 +</H4> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<H5 ALIGN="center"> +Copyright 1897 by +<BR> +THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY +<BR><BR> +Copyright 1916 by +<BR> +THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY +<BR><BR> +The Governess +</H5> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<H2 ALIGN="center"> +Contents +</H2> + +<BR> + +<TABLE ALIGN="center" WIDTH="80%"> + +<TR> +<TD ALIGN="right" VALIGN="top">CHAP.</TD> +<TD ALIGN="left" VALIGN="top"> </TD> +</TR> + +<TR> +<TD ALIGN="right" VALIGN="top">I </TD> +<TD ALIGN="left" VALIGN="top"> +<A HREF="#chap01">NAN</A></TD> +</TR> + +<TR> +<TD ALIGN="right" VALIGN="top">II </TD> +<TD ALIGN="left" VALIGN="top"> +<A HREF="#chap02">NAN'S VISITOR</A></TD> +</TR> + +<TR> +<TD ALIGN="right" VALIGN="top">III </TD> +<TD ALIGN="left" VALIGN="top"> +<A HREF="#chap03">MR. TURNER'S PLAN</A></TD> +</TR> + +<TR> +<TD ALIGN="right" VALIGN="top">IV </TD> +<TD ALIGN="left" VALIGN="top"> +<A HREF="#chap04">THE GOVERNESS</A></TD> +</TR> + +<TR> +<TD ALIGN="right" VALIGN="top">V </TD> +<TD ALIGN="left" VALIGN="top"> +<A HREF="#chap05">GETTING ACQUAINTED</A></TD> +</TR> + +<TR> +<TD ALIGN="right" VALIGN="top">VI </TD> +<TD ALIGN="left" VALIGN="top"> +<A HREF="#chap06">WHEELS WITHIN WHEELS</A></TD> +</TR> + +<TR> +<TD ALIGN="right" VALIGN="top">VII </TD> +<TD ALIGN="left" VALIGN="top"> +<A HREF="#chap07">OPEN CONFESSION</A></TD> +</TR> + +<TR> +<TD ALIGN="right" VALIGN="top">VIII </TD> +<TD ALIGN="left" VALIGN="top"> +<A HREF="#chap08">NAN'S HEROINE</A></TD> +</TR> + +<TR> +<TD ALIGN="right" VALIGN="top">IX </TD> +<TD ALIGN="left" VALIGN="top"> +<A HREF="#chap09">HAVING HER OWN WAY</A></TD> +</TR> + +<TR> +<TD ALIGN="right" VALIGN="top">X </TD> +<TD ALIGN="left" VALIGN="top"> +<A HREF="#chap10">EXPERIENCES</A></TD> +</TR> + +<TR> +<TD ALIGN="right" VALIGN="top">XI </TD> +<TD ALIGN="left" VALIGN="top"> +<A HREF="#chap11">CHRISTMAS</A></TD> +</TR> + +<TR> +<TD ALIGN="right" VALIGN="top">XII </TD> +<TD ALIGN="left" VALIGN="top"> +<A HREF="#chap12">SMALL CLOUDS</A></TD> +</TR> + +<TR> +<TD ALIGN="right" VALIGN="top">XIII </TD> +<TD ALIGN="left" VALIGN="top"> +<A HREF="#chap13">ON THE ICE</A></TD> +</TR> + +<TR> +<TD ALIGN="right" VALIGN="top">XIV </TD> +<TD ALIGN="left" VALIGN="top"> +<A HREF="#chap14">CHANGES</A></TD> +</TR> + +<TR> +<TD ALIGN="right" VALIGN="top">XV </TD> +<TD ALIGN="left" VALIGN="top"> +<A HREF="#chap15">A TUG OF WAR</A></TD> +</TR> + +<TR> +<TD ALIGN="right" VALIGN="top">XVI </TD> +<TD ALIGN="left" VALIGN="top"> +<A HREF="#chap16">THE SLEIGH-RIDE</A></TD> +</TR> + +<TR> +<TD ALIGN="right" VALIGN="top">XVII </TD> +<TD ALIGN="left" VALIGN="top"> +<A HREF="#chap17">CONSEQUENCES</A></TD> +</TR> + +<TR> +<TD ALIGN="right" VALIGN="top">XVIII </TD> +<TD ALIGN="left" VALIGN="top"> +<A HREF="#chap18">"CHESTER NEWCOMB"</A></TD> +</TR> + +<TR> +<TD ALIGN="right" VALIGN="top">XIX </TD> +<TD ALIGN="left" VALIGN="top"> +<A HREF="#chap19">IN MISS BLAKE'S ROOM</A></TD> +</TR> + +<TR> +<TD ALIGN="right" VALIGN="top">XX </TD> +<TD ALIGN="left" VALIGN="top"> +<A HREF="#chap20">THROUGH DEEP WATERS</A></TD> +</TR> + +<TR> +<TD ALIGN="right" VALIGN="top">XXI </TD> +<TD ALIGN="left" VALIGN="top"> +<A HREF="#chap21">ANOTHER CHRISTMAS</A></TD> +</TR> + +</TABLE> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<H2 ALIGN="center"> +Illustrations +</H2> + +<BR> + +<H3> +<A HREF="#img-front"> +There she stood . . . . . . <I>Frontispiece</I> +</A> +</H3> + +<H3> +<A HREF="#img-044"> +"I'll run away first!" +</A> +</H3> + +<H3> +<A HREF="#img-119"> +The little governess was beside her +</A> +</H3> + +<H3> +<A HREF="#img-200"> +"I have a little errand to do" +</A> +</H3> + +<H3> +<A HREF="#img-301"> +"Provoking things!" +</A> +</H3> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap01"></A> + +<H1 ALIGN="center"> +The Governess +</H1> + +<BR> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER I +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +NAN +</H3> + +<P> +"Hello, Nan!" +</P> + +<P> +"Heyo, Ruthie!" +</P> + +<P> +"Where are you going?" +</P> + +<P> +"Over to Reid's lot." +</P> + +<P> +"Take me?" +</P> + +<P> +"No, Ruthie, can't." +</P> + +<P> +The little child's lip began to tremble. "I think you're real mean, +Nan Cutler," she complained. +</P> + +<P> +Nan shook her head. "Can't help it if you do," she returned, stoutly, +and took a step on. +</P> + +<P> +"Nannie," cried the child eagerly, starting after her and clutching her +by the skirt, "I didn't mean that! Truly, I didn't. I think you're +just as nice as you can be. Do please let me go with you. Won't you?" +</P> + +<P> +Nan compressed her lips. "Now, Ruth, look here," she said after a +moment, in which she stood considering, "I'd take you in a minute if I +could but the truth is—oh, you're too little." +</P> + +<P> +"I ain't too little!" +</P> + +<P> +"Well, then, your mother doesn't like you to be with me, so there!" +cried Nan, in a burst of reckless frankness. +</P> + +<P> +Ruth hung her head. She could not deny it but at sight of her +companion turning to leave her she again started forward, piping +shrilly, "Nannie! Nannie! She won't care this time. Honest, she +won't." +</P> + +<P> +Nan stalked on without turning her head. +</P> + +<P> +The hurrying little feet followed on close behind. +</P> + +<P> +"Nannie! Nannie!" +</P> + +<P> +"See here, Ruth," exclaimed the girl, veering suddenly about and +speaking with decision. "You can't come, and that's all there is about +it. Your mother doesn't like me, and you ought not to disobey her. +Now run back home like a good little girl." +</P> + +<P> +The delicate, small face upturned to hers grew hardened and set, but +the child did not move. +</P> + +<P> +Nan gave her a friendly shove on the shoulder and turned on her way +again. Immediately she heard the tap of hurrying little feet behind, +like the echoing sound of her own hasty footsteps. She stopped and +swung about abruptly. +</P> + +<P> +"Are you going to be a good little girl and go back this minute?" she +demanded sternly, calling to her assistance all the dignity of her +fourteen years, and turning on the poor infant a severe, unrelenting +eye. +</P> + +<P> +The child gazed up at her reproachfully, but did not reply. +</P> + +<P> +Nan felt herself fast losing patience. "Of all the provoking little +witches!" she exclaimed, in an underbreath of irritation. +</P> + +<P> +Ruth's rebuking eyes surveyed her calmly, but she made no response. +</P> + +<P> +"Now be good and trot along back," cajoled Nan, changing her tactics +and stroking the child's soft hair caressingly. +</P> + +<P> +There was a visible pursing of the obstinate little lips, but no +further sign of acknowledgment. +</P> + +<P> +Nan dropped her voice to a tone of honey-sweetness. "See here, Ruthie, +if you'll go home this minute I'll give you five cents. You can buy +anything you like with it at Sam's, on the way back." She plunged her +hand into her pocket and drew forth a bright new nickel, and held it +alluringly aloft. +</P> + +<P> +The azure eyes gazed at it appreciatively, but the hand was not +outstretched to receive it. For a second Nan reviewed the situation in +silence. Then she flung about with a movement of exasperation, and +marched on stolidly, and the smaller feet hastened after her, keeping +pace with difficulty, and often breaking into a little run that they +might not be outstripped. +</P> + +<P> +A chill autumn wind was sweeping up heavily from the northeast, and the +air was cold and raw. Nan shuddered as she walked, and wished Ruth +were safe and sound in her own warm home, which she never should have +been permitted to leave this blustering day. A score of plans for +ridding herself of her troublesome little follower crowded Nan's brain. +She might run and leave the youngster behind. But then Ruth would cry, +and Nan could not bear to inflict pain on a little child. She might +take her up in her arms and carry her bodily back to her own door. +Well, and what then? Why, simply, she would get the credit of abusing +the little girl. There seemed no way out of it. She stalked on +grimly, and when she came to Reid's lot she promptly and dexterously +climbed its fence and continued her way in silence. But the fence +proved an insurmountable obstacle to Ruth. She stood outside and +wailed dismally. The sound smote Nan, and made her turn around. +</P> + +<P> +"Ruth Newton, you deserve to be spanked!" she announced, severely. +</P> + +<P> +The child uttered another wail of entreaty. Nan sprang up to the +cross-bar of the palings, gathered her skirts about her knees, and +leaped down. +</P> + +<P> +"Here, let me boost you, since you will get over," she said sharply. +</P> + +<P> +After they were both safely on the other side Ruth's spirit rose, and +she capered about in the freedom of the open space as wildly as a young +colt. Nan had come for chestnuts. She announced the same presently to +Ruth. Ruth shouted gleefully. +</P> + +<P> +"I'm going to climb the tree. You can stand underneath and pick up +what I shake, only mind you don't get the burr-prickles in your +fingers, for they hurt like sixty," warned Nan. +</P> + +<P> +The child nodded her head and pranced over the brown, stubbly ground +with dancing feet, her cheeks aglow and her eyes flashing with +satisfaction. +</P> + +<P> +She watched Nan with the liveliest interest, and when the older girl +was once comfortably ensconced in the lofty branches, she executed a +sort of war-dance underneath, and spread her tiny skirt to catch the +rain of nuts that Nan shook down upon her from above. But presently +this began to pall. +</P> + +<P> +"I want to come up where you are, Nannie," she called, coaxingly. +</P> + +<P> +"You'll have to want then," retorted Nan, carelessly munching nuts like +a squirrel. +</P> + +<P> +"I could climb's good as anything if only I had a boost," drawled the +child ruefully. +</P> + +<P> +Nan sprinkled a handful of shucks on her head. +</P> + +<P> +"I'm going to try," ventured Ruth. +</P> + +<P> +Nan laughed. +</P> + +<P> +Ruth looked around, trying to discover some means by which she might +accomplish her purpose. Nan felt so sure that the child could not do +what she threatened that she made no effort to dissuade her. She, +herself, passed from bough to bough as nimbly as a boy, in spite of her +skirts, and in a very short time was almost out of sight among the +upper spreading branches. She sat astride one of these, swinging to +and fro and luxuriating in her sense of freedom and adventure. Peering +down occasionally she saw Ruth standing beneath her and sent repeated +showers of nuts spinning through the boughs to keep the child busy. +But presently Ruth disappeared. She had spied an old piece of board +and she immediately flew to get it, her silly little head filled with +the idea of making it serve her as a ladder. She tugged it laboriously +across the stubbly field, and her short, panting breaths did not reach +Nan's ear, full of the near rustle of leaves and the hum of the +scudding wind. +</P> + +<P> +"Ahoy! below there!" she shouted nautically from above. +</P> + +<P> +Ruth was too busy to respond. The board was heavy, and it took all the +strength of her slight arms to get it in position. +</P> + +<P> +"Shipmate ahoy!" repeated Nan. +</P> + +<P> +By this time the board had been tilted against the tree and Ruth was +scrambling up the unsteady inclined plane, too absorbed and scared in +her adventure to reply. She actually managed to reach the top and to +stand there tiptoeing the edge uncertainly, her small fingers clasping +the tree-trunk convulsively and her arms trying to grapple with it for +a surer hold. But suddenly she gave a piercing scream, and Nan, +peering down through the branches in instant alarm, saw Ruth lying at +the foot of the tree in a pitiful little motionless heap, and knew in a +moment that she had tried to do what she had threatened and had failed. +</P> + +<P> +It did not take Nan a minute to reach the ground. Her heart seemed to +stand still with fear. She flung herself from bough to bough with +reckless haste and dropped to the ground all in one breathless instant. +</P> + +<P> +"Ruth," she cried, bending over the little prostrate figure in an +agony. "Ruth, open your eyes! Get up! Oh, please get up!" +</P> + +<P> +There was no answer. Nan wrung her hands in despair. The cold wind +blew over the field in chilling gusts. It made her shudder, and +instinctively she took a step toward her warm coat, which she had +stripped off and cast aside before climbing the tree. At sight of it a +new thought struck her. Ruth lying there on the frosty ground would +surely take cold—perhaps die from it! In a twinkling the soft, woolly +garment was wrapped securely about the child and Nan had her two stout +arms around her and was half dragging, half carrying her in the +direction of the distant fence. But they had not covered a dozen yards +before she felt her strength begin to fail. She was lifting a dead +weight, and it seemed to drag more heavily upon her every moment. Her +arms pulled in their sockets and her breath came in painful gasps, and +she knew that if she tried to keep on as she was it would be at the +cost of increasing misery. Still she did not give up, and at last, +after what seemed to her hours of agony and suspense, she actually +reached the limit of the field. She laid Ruth gently upon the ground +and straightened herself up to ease her aching back and regain her lost +breath before taking up her burden again. But as she lifted her head +her eyes fell on the high pickets before her, which seemed to confront +her with as grim defiance as if they had been bayonets. How could she +get Ruth over? The gate, which was at another end of the lot, was +always kept padlocked, and even if she had remembered this at first and +had carried the child there, she could not have undone the bolt. This +was the last straw! She felt frustrated and defeated, and a low sob of +complete discouragement broke from her. It was useless to dream of +getting Ruth over alone. The only way that remained was to secure +help, that was plain. She looked about wildly, but not a soul was in +sight, and she knew in her heart that the chances were against her. +The street at this point was near the city limits, and it had not been +built up as yet. There would be nothing to call any one here unless it +might be some boy who, like herself, had come out for chestnuts, and +what use would a mere boy be? If only John Gardiner were here! John +was tall and strong, and would lend a hand in a jiffy. But John also +was miles away. Ruth's eyes opened for a second and then closed +sleepily again. Nan's heart leaped up with new hope. +</P> + +<P> +"Ruth! Ruth!" she called eagerly bending over her and stroking her +cheek tenderly. But her hope was short-lived. The eyelids remained +shut, and the child only breathed deeper than before. Nan's own heart +seemed to stop in her anxiety for Ruth. Suddenly she sprang to her +feet. Surely she had heard the rattle of wheels! Ever so far and +indistinct to be sure, but still unmistakably wheels, clattering over +some distant cobbles. She raised her voice and shouted; then held her +breath to listen. The clatter grew more distinct; it drew nearer and +nearer. She clambered up the fence and stood there waving her arms and +shouting as madly as if she had been a shipwrecked mariner sighting a +sail. She paused a moment to listen. The rattling wheels came nearer. +She shouted again and then waited, listening intently. The rattling +stopped. She set up a wild howl of dismay and kept it up till her ears +seemed on the point of splitting. But now the clatter of wheels had +begun again and she could see a milk cart rounding the corner of the +street. She gave a long, shrill whistle and leaped down and ran +frantically out into the road, straight for the horse's head. +</P> + +<P> +It was a second or two before the astonished driver could be made to +understand, but when he did, he bounded out of his cart willingly +enough, vaulted over the fence and then bade Nan "stand hard" while he +lifted Ruth into her arms. Her weight was nothing to the brawny +fellow, and he had her safely stowed away on the seat of his cart, with +Nan crouching on the floor beside her and himself clinging to the step +outside, in less time than it takes to tell it. +</P> + +<P> +Nan gave him the street and number in a trembling gasp of gratitude. +He eyed her narrowly, and then seemed to sum up his conclusion in a +low, keen whistle. Her hat was hanging by its elastic on her +shoulders; her hair was blown out of all order by the wind; her dress +was torn and her hands were bruised and none too clean. She had no +coat on, and her cheeks were flaming with cold and excitement. She was +an astonishing spectacle. +</P> + +<P> +"Guess you're a sort of high-flyer, ain't you?" said he at last without +a sign of ill-nature. +</P> + +<P> +Nan set her jaws and did not reply. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, well, I don't want to hurt your feelings. Only you look sorter +wild-like, you know, and as if your mother didn't know you was out." +</P> + +<P> +Nan's teeth snapped. "I haven't got any mother," she returned curtly. +"She's dead." +</P> + +<P> +The milkman looked uncomfortable. He shifted awkwardly from one foot +to the other and muttered something about being sorry. Then for some +time there was silence. +</P> + +<P> +"That's the house," announced Nan at length, jumping to the step and +hanging to the rail above the dashboard. "That third one from the +corner, on this side. Please let me out first. I want to run ahead +and tell." +</P> + +<P> +Almost before he could rein in his horse she was out on the pavement. +She flew to the area gate and pressed the bell with all her might. She +kept her finger on it, and the cook came flying to the door, looking +flushed and angry at the continuous ringing. +</P> + +<P> +"Well, I might o' known," she said, eying Nan with unconcealed +disfavor. "Do you think a body's deaf that you ring like that?" +</P> + +<P> +Nan flung back her head resentfully. +</P> + +<P> +"Never mind what I think," she returned sharply. "Open the gate! Ruth +is sick! She got hurt! Some one's bringing her in. Quick!" +</P> + +<P> +The gate was flung open with a bang, and the woman rushed out, +clutching Ruth from the milkman's arms and carrying her into the house, +muttering mingled caresses and abuse all the while; the caresses for +Ruth and the abuse for Nan. +</P> + +<P> +The milkman turned on his heel and went his way unthanked, but by the +time he got to the outer gate Nan had recollected herself, and had +rushed after him, calling: +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, please! I want to tell you—thank you ever so much!" +</P> + +<P> +She was glad she had done it when she saw the gratified look on his +face. When she got back to the area gate it was shut. Mary the +chambermaid stood just inside it. She made no attempt to admit Nan. +She simply stood there and looked her over from head to toe. +</P> + +<P> +"Well, you're a pretty piece!" she remarked. +</P> + +<P> +"None of your business if I am," retorted Nan. "Let me in. I want to +see Mrs. Newton." +</P> + +<P> +The maid took her hand from the knob and put it on her hip. +</P> + +<P> +"Mrs. Newton don't want to see you, though, I guess," she returned. +"By this time Bridget's told her all she wants to know." +</P> + +<P> +"But I must see her! I must tell her!" Nan insisted, stamping her +foot. "Bridget don't know anything about it. No one does but me. Let +me in, I say!" +</P> + +<P> +The girl laughed. +</P> + +<P> +"Well, I'll go upstairs and tell Mrs. Newton. Then, if she wants to +see you, she can," and she went inside and closed the door, leaving Nan +to stand shuddering in the cold outside. Presently she came back, +carrying the coat in her hands. +</P> + +<P> +"Mrs. Newton says she hasn't time to see you now. She says she'll +attend to you later. She says she can guess how it happened, and that +if Ruth dies it'll be your fault. There, now, you know what's thought +of you, and you can put it in your pipe and smoke it, you great, rough +tomboy!" +</P> + +<P> +The gate was thrust open a little way, the coat was flung out, and the +door slammed to again, and once more Nan found herself in the area way +alone. Burning tears of fury sprung to her eyes. She caught up her +despised coat and dashed wildly out of the gate in a perfect tempest of +anger and resentment. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap02"></A> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER II +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +NAN'S VISITOR +</H3> + +<P> +She knew what was coming when the bell rang. She had been expecting it +all the afternoon. But in spite of that her heart beat fast and her +breath came hard as she heard the familiar sound. Not that she was +afraid. She had nothing to be afraid of, she assured herself +defiantly, and besides, fear was one of the things she despised. +Whatever else she was, she was certainly not a coward. Still she sat +in her room and waited in a state of mind that was not precisely what +one would call tranquil. +</P> + +<P> +She heard Delia mount the basement stairs and then she heard her ask +the new-comer into the parlor. A moment later there was a tap upon +Nan's bedroom door. +</P> + +<P> +"Come in," she said carelessly, and pretended to be searching for some +article lost in the confusion of her upper drawer. +</P> + +<P> +"You're wanted in the parlor, Nan," began Delia at once. "It's a lady +who says she lives on the block and she wouldn't give her name, but I +think she's the one moved into Leffingwell's old house last spring—has +that little girl with the long curls, you know the one I mean. Shall I +help you put on another dress and braid your hair over? It's fearful +mussy-lookin'. Or will I just go and say you'll be down in a minute +while you do it yourself?" +</P> + +<P> +Nan cast a glance at her torn dress and towzled head in the mirror. +"No, Delia, I'll go as I am, and if the lady doesn't like it she +can—oh, well, I'll go down as I am." +</P> + +<P> +Delia pressed her lips together, as though trying to hold back the +words of advice on the tip of her tongue. She knew it was worse than +useless to try to argue with the girl. She had not lived in the house +since Nan was born without learning better than to try to reason with +her when she had once declared her mind. She stood beside the door, +and allowed Nan to pass through it before her, without saying a word. +Then she followed her quietly down stairs. At the parlor door Nan +paused a moment, and Delia, who thought she was about to speak, paused +too, but the girl only turned sharply into the room, pulling the door +shut behind her. Once across the threshold she halted and stood +irresolute. Whatever the result of this meeting might prove, depended +not so much on Nan as on her visitor. +</P> + +<P> +Nan, though standing in awkward silence, as stiff and as straight as a +soldier on parade, was ready to be influenced by whatever course her +caller chose to pursue; a kind word spoken at the start would melt her +at once, where a harsh one would raise in her every sort of sullen +hostility and obstinate resistance. She was, as Delia often said to +herself, "as hard to manage as a kicking colt." Sometimes she was +wonderfully docile, but her moods were variable, and oftenest she was +headstrong and wilful, with a fierce repugnance to curb, or what she +considered unwarrantable interference. +</P> + +<P> +But it would have been difficult to convince the stranger at that +moment that Nan could ever be won, or, in fact, that she had any +tenderness to be appealed to. There she stood, looking as erect and +impassive as a young Indian. Her brown hair was in a state of thorough +disorder, and gave a sort of savage look to her sun-browned face. Her +gray eyes were anything but soft at this moment; her mouth was set, and +her whole attitude seemed to be one of imperturbable indifference. In +reality, the girl was apprehensive and embarrassed. She set her lips +to keep them from trembling. Her first impulse would have been to make +a clean breast of everything, frankly and truthfully, but—something in +her nature held her back. Was it obstinacy, or was it reticence? +</P> + +<P> +Her visitor did not wait to discover. She decided the result of the +interview in the first words she spoke. +</P> + +<P> +"Is your name Nan Cutler?" she asked in a voice of stern authority. +</P> + +<P> +"Yes, it is!" acknowledged the girl, instantly on the defensive. +</P> + +<P> +"Then it is you who are accountable for the accident to Ruth Newton? +You urged her to go with you, and when she fell—oh, you are a coward! +It was detestable!" +</P> + +<P> +Nan made no reply, but stood the picture of inflexibility, facing her +accuser squarely. +</P> + +<P> +"I have come to see you, not because you can undo the mischief you have +done to my child, and not because I think I can affect you in the +least, or make you sorry or ashamed, but simply to tell you that I +intend to see that you are punished, as you deserve. I have put up +with annoyance you caused me long enough. Your influence is bad. All +the neighbors complain of you. You are noisy and careless, and rough +and rude. When any one reprimands you, you give a pert retort, or else +pretend not to hear—which is impudent. Unless we wish our children to +be utterly ruined we must see that they are put beyond your influence +at once. You do things that are absolutely vulgar and unbefitting a +girl of your age; you must be fourteen, at least, you look older, you +are certainly old enough to know better. You are not a proper playmate +for our children. You are boisterous and unladylike. You—you—are a +perfect hoyden!" +</P> + +<P> +The stranger paused for breath, while Nan surveyed her with a look of +calm indifference; an air of unconcern in anything she might say or +think that seemed as insolent as it was exasperating. +</P> + +<P> +"You are a perfect hoyden!" repeated the stern voice in rising anger. +"Whatever you do is done in such a loud, violent fashion that it +becomes perfectly unbearable. You play ball with boys. You climb +fences and trees. You are continually flying up and down the street on +your detestable roller-skates and shouting until the neighborhood seems +like Bedlam, and you don't appear to have the vaguest idea that +people's rights need not be infringed on in such a manner; that they +have the right to peace and quiet in their own homes. Even if you +would content yourself with your own disorderliness! But you are not +satisfied with doing what you know must annoy others; you seem to take +a malicious delight in bringing the little children under your +influence and making them long to follow your example. You cannot have +the first shadow of generosity or bravery in your nature, or you would +not urge them to do what you know their parents would disapprove of. +You teach them to disobey. My daughter never told an untruth in her +life until the other day. I have no reason to doubt that you taught +her to tell that untruth!" +</P> + +<P> +Nan's cheeks suddenly became white, but she did not open her lips. +</P> + +<P> +"If you cannot be restrained by your own people at home you shall be by +some other means. They say your own people are respectable; how can +you disgrace them so?" +</P> + +<P> +Nan deigned no reply, but her lip curled contemptuously. +</P> + +<P> +"They say your mother is dead." +</P> + +<P> +Again no answer. +</P> + +<P> +"Where is your father?" +</P> + +<P> +"My father is in India. He is in Bombay," announced Nan, deliberately. +</P> + +<P> +"Who has control of you in his absence?" +</P> + +<P> +"No one!" declared the girl with decision. +</P> + +<P> +Mrs. Newton surveyed the lank, overgrown, girlish figure with +unconcealed scorn. +</P> + +<P> +"Do you know," she said with bitter distinctness, "that you are the +most shameless, unfeeling girl I have ever beheld? Any one else would +show some remorse for what she had done, but you—young as you are, you +are the hardest creature I have ever known. Hard, cruel, and cold. +How can you stand there and look me in the face when you know how you +have injured me? Tell me, does it not touch you at all that Ruth is +hurt? Do you know or care that such a fall as she has had is enough to +cripple a child for life? Many children have been hopelessly crippled +through far less." +</P> + +<P> +The mother's voice broke, and she set her lips to keep down a sob. +</P> + +<P> +"How much is she hurt?" whispered Nan after a moment. She was +trembling all over and cold and hot by turns, and she could not command +her voice. It was almost more than she could do to keep from bursting +into a violent fit of sobbing from her sense of injury and shame and +indignation. But she simply would not permit herself to break down. +No one should be allowed to think they intimidated her. But she could +not hide her anxiety about Ruth. +</P> + +<P> +"Is she much hurt?" she repeated. +</P> + +<P> +There was a shade of softening in her visitor's face. "We can't tell +yet. She has had a severe fall, and the chill coming after it may have +very serious consequences, but we can tell nothing yet. However, I did +not come here to inform you of her condition," the voice growing stern +and the face severe again. "I came to tell you that if Ruth is injured +I will hold you responsible. And not only that, but I warn you that I +mean to take matters into my own hands now and see that you are +permitted to do no further mischief. You shall be controlled. Who has +charge of your father's affairs? Who has any sort of authority over +you in his absence? He must have left you in somebody's care. He +can't have gone away leaving you with no one to look after you. Who is +your guardian? Tell me? If you don't I shall find out for myself, you +may depend." +</P> + +<P> +"I'm perfectly willing to tell you," declared Nan, with what seemed to +be complete coolness. "It's Mr. Turner. He gives Delia the money to +get me things and to keep the house. He comes here every once in a +while to see me. My father has him for his lawyer. He's a friend of +his. When Delia writes to him for money for me she sends the letter to +101 Blank Street. That's his office. I don't remember where his house +is. Delia never writes to his house. He doesn't attend to me—that +is, he isn't my guardian, but I guess he would do if you want to see +some one." +</P> + +<P> +Nan delivered herself of this information as casually as though it had +been a report of the weather. As a matter of fact she was inwardly +quivering, and every moment found it more and more difficult to control +herself. Never in all her life before had she been so relentlessly, +harshly accused. In trying to conceal her emotion she only gave +herself the appearance of rigid inflexibility. +</P> + +<P> +Her visitor regarded her stonily for a moment and then abruptly brushed +past her toward the door. Nan made no attempt to intercept her, but +suddenly the hard lines about her mouth relaxed, her eyes softened, and +she held out her hands with an imploring gesture. +</P> + +<P> +"Won't you please tell me where Ruth is hurt?" she cried. "Won't you +let me do something for her? Let me—please let me! If you'll only +listen a minute I'll tell you—" +</P> + +<P> +But it was too late now. She was given no reply; permitted no chance +to vindicate herself. Her visitor's hard lips quivered, but she +uttered no syllable. In a moment she was gone. +</P> + +<P> +After the door had closed upon her and it was quite certain that she +would not come back, Nan turned and rushed headlong, like a young +savage, upstairs and into her own room. What took place there it would +have been impossible to discover, for the shades were jerked fiercely +down, the door sharply shut and locked, and Delia, coming up some time +later, could not make out a sound within nor get a reply to her +requests to be admitted, though she stood outside and pleaded for an +hour. +</P> + +<P> +At twilight the door was opened and Nan came out quite composed, but +bearing on her face the unmistakable traces of tears which, however, +Delia was wise enough to let pass unremarked. +</P> + +<P> +"Time for dinner?" asked the girl, curtly. +</P> + +<P> +"No, not yet. It ain't but just six," replied the woman. "Are you +hungry? I'll get you something if you are." +</P> + +<P> +"No, I'm not hungry. But I feel kind of queer, somehow. There's an +empty feeling I have that makes me uncomfortable. But I'm not hungry. +O Delia!" she burst out, vehemently, "I wish—I wish—I had my mother. +A girl needs—her mother—sometimes—" +</P> + +<P> +"Always," declared Delia, with conviction. +</P> + +<P> +For a little time there was silence between them. Then Nan said, "Look +here, Delia—I want to tell you something. I feel just horribly. I +never felt so unhappy in all my life. That lady who was here this +afternoon is Ruth Newton's mother. She came to see me because this +morning Ruth fell from the tree in Reid's lot and hurt herself, and +Mrs. Newton thinks I made her do it. I didn't. Honestly, I didn't. I +had climbed the tree myself, and it was fun and I liked it. Ruth would +come. I tried to make her stay away, but she wouldn't, and when she +teased to climb the tree too, I told her not to. She's so little and +young, and her mother doesn't think it's ladylike, and I said if she +wouldn't come with me in the first place I'd give her five cents. But +she would tag on, and later she tried to climb the tree in spite of +everything. She put a board up against the trunk and got on it and +then scrambled up a little way, but she didn't get far, for the board +slipped, or something, and down she went—smash! I guess she must have +hit herself on the edge or somewhere, for when I dropped down she was +lying on the ground, and she had her eyes closed and wouldn't speak. +Then I didn't know what to do. I wanted to lift her, but it was awful +work. There was no one in sight. At last I managed to tug her to the +fence, but, of course, I hadn't the strength to get her over that +alone. I couldn't leave her and run for help, and for a long time I +did nothing but scream, in the hope that some one would come along and +hear. And by and by I heard wheels. It was a milk cart, and I got the +man to help me get her home. I went right to the Newton's as fast as I +could, but when Bridget opened the door and saw who it was she was +simply furious. They wouldn't let me in, and Mrs. Newton sent down +word she wouldn't see me, but she'd attend to me later, and this +afternoon when she called she just called me names and things, and I +couldn't explain to her, I felt so choked. She talked to me so, I +couldn't say a word. You don't know. When people say such things to +me something gets in my throat, and I feel like strangling and doing +all sorts of things. I seem to shut right up when they go at me like +that. I can't speak. I just feel like—well, you don't know what I +feel like. Mrs. Newton asked me where father is, and I told her, and +then she asked about Mr. Turner, for she wants to have things done to +me, and I told her about him. I wouldn't have her think I wanted to +get out of it. She called me names and she thinks I taught Ruth to +tell untruths; she said so. She says if Ruth doesn't get well it will +be my fault. O Delia! I didn't do it. Honestly I wasn't to blame. +But if Ruth is going to be sick and they think I did it—I want my +mother! How can I bear it without my mother?" +</P> + +<P> +Delia gently patted the dark head that had flung itself into her lap. +Her heart ached for the girl, but her simple mind was not equal to the +task of consolation in a case like this. She could not cope with its +difficulties. She knew Nan was to blame for much, but she thought in +her heart that Mrs. Newton had no right to vent her wrath upon the girl +without first having heard her side of the story. She could not +console Nan, she thought, without seeming to convict Mrs. Newton, and +if she "stood up for" Mrs. Newton, Nan would think her lacking in +sympathy for herself. But in the midst of her wondering, up bobbed the +head from under her hand. +</P> + +<P> +"Mrs. Newton says I teach the children to do wrong. She says I'm a +hoyden. She says I left Ruth in the cold and that I was a coward. She +didn't give me time to tell her about how I tried to get Ruth home +myself, and that when I couldn't, how I just howled for help. At least +she didn't want to listen when I got so I could speak. She says +everybody thinks I'm bad, and they want to have me attended to. She +thinks I taught Ruth to tell lies. Think, Delia, lies! When she said +that it was like knives! O Delia? I know you've been awfully good to +me always, and taken care of me since mamma died and all, but if it is +so dreadful to play ball and skate and do things like that, why did you +let me in the first place? I hate to sew and do worsted work and be +prim, but perhaps, if you had brought me up that way I might have got +so I could stand it. Don't you think if you had begun when I was a +baby I might have? I don't want to have people hate me—honestly, I +don't. When they talk to me, and say I'm rowdyish because I walk +fences and play ball with the boys and climb trees, I try not to show +it, but it hurts me way deep down. I try to say something back so +they'll think I don't care, and sometimes, if it hurts too much, I +pretend not to hear, and that makes them madder than ever. They don't +know how, when it's like that, I can't speak. Perhaps if you'd brought +me up so, I might have liked dolls and thought it was fun to sit still +and sew on baby clothes. But I don't like to, and I can't help it. +Mrs. Newton thinks because I whistle and make a noise that I'm just +mean and hateful and everything else. She thinks I don't care. Why, +Delia! if anything happened to Ruth I'd feel exactly as if I didn't +want to live another day. I—I—O Delia!" +</P> + +<P> +For the first time she gave way, and, hiding her head in her arms, +sobbed heavily. +</P> + +<P> +By this time Delia had risen to a point of burning anger against her +child's detractor. Her heart beat loyally for Nan, and she could +scarcely restrain the words of resentment that rose to her lips, and +that it would have been such unwisdom to have uttered. +</P> + +<P> +"Never mind, Nannie lamb!" she said. "It'll be all right in the +morning. The child will be all well in the morning. You'll see she +ain't so bad as they think. And to-morrow I'll go and tell them all +about it. And perhaps they'll see then it's better to be slow accusin' +where the guilt ain't proved. Come, come! Don't cry so! Why, Nannie, +child, you haven't cried like this since you were—I can't tell how +little. You never cry, Nan. You're always so brave, and never give +way. You'll have a headache if you don't stop. Dry your tears, and +to-morrow it'll be all right." +</P> + +<P> +So, little by little, she soothed the girl, and by and by Nan ate her +dinner, and then, when it was later, she went to bed. But when +everything was hushed and still a dark figure crept noiselessly down +stairs and on into the outer darkness. Down the street it stole until +it had reached a house, which, alone in all the row of darkened +barrack-like dwellings, showed a dimly lit window to the night. There +it halted. And there it stood, like a faithful sentinel, only +deserting its post when the gray light of early morning rose slowly +over the world and the city was astir once more. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap03"></A> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER III +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +MR. TURNER'S PLAN +</H3> + +<P> +"I am deeply sorry," said Mr. Turner, "and can only apologize in my +friend's name for any annoyance his daughter may have caused you. Of +course I cannot agree with you that she annoys you purposely. A child +of William Cutler could not well be other than large-hearted and +generous. She may be a little undisciplined perhaps, but it shall be +attended to, Madam! I assure you the matter shall be attended to." +</P> + +<P> +Mrs. Newton rose. She had called upon Mr. Turner to state her +complaint against Nan Cutler. Now that was accomplished she would go; +only she made a mental vow that if the lawyer were not as good as his +word, if he did not take immediate steps toward rectifying the matter, +she would follow it up herself and see that she was relieved of what, +in her anger, she called "that common nuisance." +</P> + +<P> +Meantime Nan herself was going about with a dead load of misery on her +heart. Delia had gone to the Newton's house early in the morning to +inquire after the sick child's condition and to repeat Nan's story to +her mother, but that lady was "not at home," and Delia understood that +to mean that Mrs. Newton declined to receive either her or her +explanation. She went home angry and disappointed. +</P> + +<P> +"I guess the little girl ain't much hurt," she announced to Nan. +"She's in bed to be sure, but I guess that's more on account of her +cold than anything else. She isn't going to be crippled, Nan, now +don't you fret. She'll be all right. Now you see if she ain't." +</P> + +<P> +Nan's own flushed cheeks and brilliant eyes, the result of her +yesterday's chilly adventures, worried the good woman not a little. If +she had dared she would have liked to "coddle her child," but Nan was +not one of the coddling kind, and would have scorned being made a baby +of. She went about the house in one of her unhappy moods, restless and +wretched and unable to amuse herself, and finding the hours +never-endingly long. +</P> + +<P> +When the bell rang she welcomed the sound as a grateful diversion and +ran to the balusters and hung over the railing to see who might be the +new-comer. She was glad of any break in the monotony of such a +miserable day. +</P> + +<P> +When Delia opened the door and admitted Mr. Turner, Nan's heart gave a +big leap. Visions of what might be in store for her, the result of +Mrs. Newton's action against her, thronged her brain and made her +shudder with apprehension. What if Mr. Turner had come to say that she +was to be sent to the House of Correction, or some horrid +boarding-school where one don't get enough to eat and where one +couldn't poke one's nose outside the door. A set expression settled on +the girl's face that did not augur well for her reception of whatever +plan the lawyer might have to propose. +</P> + +<P> +When Delia came to call her, she sighed. She saw plainly enough that +Nan's "contrary fit" was on, and she wondered how much the lawyer would +accomplish by his visit under the circumstances. +</P> + +<P> +Nan went down to him sullenly determined to stand by her guns and +absolutely refuse to be committed to either a reformatory or any other +establishment of a similar character. +</P> + +<P> +"How do you do, my dear?" was Mr. Turner's kindly greeting as the girl +entered the room. +</P> + +<P> +Nan replied, "Very well, sir," thinking, at the same time, that she +would not be disarmed by kindness nor permit herself to be cajoled into +doing anything she did not wish to do. No one really had the right to +order her about, and she would resolutely oppose any one who assumed +such a right. +</P> + +<P> +But presently she found herself telling her father's friend the story +of yesterday's disaster, quite simply and with entire willingness. +</P> + +<P> +"So," Mr. Turner said at the conclusion, "I thought that the good lady +must have made a mistake. I felt pretty sure your father's daughter +would never be guilty of cowardice nor of deliberately planning to +destroy the peace of any one. I knew you could not be the girl Mrs. +Newton described. She seemed to think you were—why, my dear, she gave +me to understand that you were quite wild and lawless; that you were a +bad influence in the neighborhood, and that you were so with full +consciousness of what you were doing. We must explain to Mrs. Newton! +We must explain!" +</P> + +<P> +"I don't lie!" declared Nan. "And I'm not a coward, and I don't try to +make her mad or hurt her children, but I do climb trees and I do race +and do figures on roller-skates, and I do do the rest of the things she +says I do and that she doesn't like." +</P> + +<P> +"And your school?" ventured the lawyer. +</P> + +<P> +"I don't go any more," announced Nan. "I had a fight with one of the +teachers, and so I left." +</P> + +<P> +Mr. Turner gazed suddenly upon the floor. +</P> + +<P> +"And this 'fight' with the teacher? Do you remember the cause of the +disturbance?" he asked, looking up after a moment. +</P> + +<P> +"She struck me with her ruler. I had a rubber baby doll, it was the +weeniest thing you ever saw, and she wore false puffs, Miss Fowler did, +and one day, when I was at the blackboard and she was looking the other +way, I just dropped the baby doll into one of the puffs that the +hair-pin had come out of, and that was standing up on end, and it +looked so funny on her head, the puff with the baby doll standing in +it, that all the girls laughed, and then she asked me what I had done, +and I told her, and she struck me. I wouldn't have said anything if +she had just punished me. I knew it was wrong to pop that doll on her +head, but I just couldn't help it—it looked too funny. But when she +struck me! Well, I won't be struck by any one—and so I left." +</P> + +<P> +The lawyer meditated in silence for a moment. Then he said: +</P> + +<P> +"Well, my dear, I think I understand the condition of things here. +Without doubt it is high time something were done. Your father, when +he went away, gave me full authority to make such arrangements for you +as I might feel were necessary, but until now I have rather avoided +taking upon myself any responsibility. Possibly I have neglected my +duty toward you. But now all that shall be changed. Don't you think +if I were to send you—" +</P> + +<P> +Nan's eyes blazed. So it was as she had felt sure it would be! She +was to be sent away! She did not wait for the sentence to be finished. +</P> + +<P> +"Send me to the House of Correction? I won't go, sir! I'll run away +first! Or a horrid boarding-school, neither. I guess my father didn't +mean me to be made unhappy, Mr. Turner; I guess he didn't mean any one +to have authority to send me to awful places just because Mrs. Newton +says so, away from Delia and things. You needn't send me anywhere, for +I'll run away as sure as you do." +</P> + +<A NAME="img-044"></A> +<CENTER> +<IMG CLASS="imgcenter" SRC="images/img-044.jpg" ALT=""I'll run away first!"" BORDER="2" WIDTH="388" HEIGHT="597"> +<H3 CLASS="h3center" STYLE="width: 388px"> +"I'll run away first!" +</H3> +</CENTER> + +<P> +"Slowly—slowly!" cautioned Mr. Turner. "You go too fast! If you had +waited for me to finish my sentence you would have discovered that I +meant to send you neither to the House of Correction," here his eyes +twinkled with amusement, "nor to a 'horrid boarding-school.' What I +was about to say was that I propose to send you a lady who will teach +you here at home, who will be a friend and companion to you and whom +you will be sure to love. It is rather a curious coincidence that just +the other day I was talking to a lady who is anxious to procure just +such a position as this with you, and I am rather inclined to think +that she would be willing to come here and undertake it. At all +events, I have written to her asking her to consider the plan and in a +day or so I shall know her decision. If she concludes to come—if I +can induce her to come—I shall feel that you are very fortunate. You +will forgive me if I say that while I disagree with Mrs. Newton in most +respects regarding you, I feel with her that you are somewhat—well, +somewhat ungoverned and in need of just the sort of discipline that I +am sure Miss—the lady I speak of can maintain." +</P> + +<P> +He paused a moment, but when he saw that Nan made no comment or +objection he continued placidly: +</P> + +<P> +"You will hear from me in the course of a day or so, as soon as I +receive word from the lady herself. As I said, you will be very +fortunate if I can secure her services for you—more fortunate than she +will be, I fear," he said to himself, catching a glimpse of Nan's set +mouth and flashing eyes as he made his way to the door. Later, when he +recalled her expression, he was almost inclined to hope that the lady +would decide to refuse the office. He thought her acceptance of it +might involve her in rather more serious difficulties than he had +foreseen when he wrote to her in the first place. +</P> + +<P> +As a matter of fact, Nan was in a rage at the thought of a stranger +coming into the house to interfere with her and Delia, to teach her +what she did not want to learn, and to govern her when her sole idea of +happiness was to be free and untrammeled. Even Delia resented the +new-comer's intrusion. Had she managed the house for fourteen years +now, ever since Mrs. Cutler's death, only to be set aside and ruled +over by the first stranger who chose to imagine her position of +governess to Nan gave her the right to interfere in household affairs? +For of course she would interfere. Nan had drawn a vivid mental +picture of the governess, which through her persistence in repetition, +had begun to seem an actual description to herself and Delia. +</P> + +<P> +"She's tall and thin and lanky and old!" declared the girl whenever the +governess, who had accepted the appointment, was mentioned. "She has +horrid sharp eyes that spy out everything, and she wears glasses. +She'll never laugh because she'll say 'giggling is frivolous,' that's +what Miss Fowler used to say, and she'll talk arithmetic and grammar +and geography the whole blessed time. She'll snoop in your closets, +Delia, and into my bureau drawers, and she'll find out everything we +don't want her to know. Her hair is black and shiny, and I guess she +parts it in the middle and makes it come to the back of her head in a +little hard knot. Oh! I know just how she looks! I can see her every +time I shut my eyes—the horrid thing! Just like Miss Fowler at +school! And how I'll hate her! I'll hate her just as much as I did +Miss Fowler. I'll hate her more, because I can never get rid of her: +she'll always be here. Don't you fix up her room a single bit, Delia. +Make it look as awful as you can. Then perhaps she won't like it +and'll leave. I guess after a little while she won't think it agrees +with her to live here. Then we two'll be alone again, and I tell you, +won't we be glad, Delia?" +</P> + +<P> +In her heart Delia thought they would. She did not follow Nan's advice +to make the governess' room look "as awful as she could." She swept +and dusted it thoroughly, and set all the furniture in place, as she +had been accustomed to do for the last fourteen years, and when she had +finished the place was as uninviting as even Nan could have desired. +In fact, there was nothing attractive in the whole house. The +furniture was all good and substantial, but Delia had a way of ranging +it against the walls in a manner that made it seem stiff and +uncompromising. When a piece needed repairing, and with Nan about, +many a piece needed repairing often, it was stowed out of sight in the +trunk-room, or the cellar, and the carpets, which had been rich and +fashionable in their day, were allowed to lie now long after they had +become threadbare and faded. Delia kept the handsome paintings veiled +in tarlatan winter and summer, and she never removed the slip-covers +from the parlor sofas and chairs, whatever the season might be. Nan +did not care, because she knew nothing different, and there was no +loving, artful hand to make the best of the things and turn the house +into a home. +</P> + +<P> +Mrs. Newton had shivered as she entered the place; it seemed dark and +cold and forbidding to her, and she felt the mother-want at every turn, +but this had not made her any more lenient with Nan. Perhaps the +governess would make no allowances either. Delia made up her mind that +if things really came to the pass where Nan was being abused, she in +person would "just step in and say her say, if it lost her her place." +She often talked of things losing her her place when the fact was that +she herself was the place: if it had not been for her the house must +have been closed, and Nan sent to boarding-school. Mr. Cutler would +never have trusted the care of his girl to a strange servant. +</P> + +<P> +"Yes, Ma'am," Delia said to herself, as she pushed the governess' bed +flat up against the wall. "Yes, Ma'am! if I see her going for to abuse +Nan, I'll set to and give her a piece of my mind such as she ain't +likely to have got in one while, I tell you that," and she gave the +bureau a vicious tweak and pulled down the shade with a resentful jerk. +</P> + +<P> +When Nan saw the room she was disgusted. +</P> + +<P> +"Why, Delia Connor! you haven't done a single thing I told you to," she +cried out angrily. +</P> + +<P> +"I've swept and dusted it and that's all there was to do," retorted +Delia. +</P> + +<P> +"It looks perfectly lovely," resumed Nan, stamping her foot. "Do you +s'pose I want her to think we're glad to have her, and that we've +prepared for her? Well, I guess not! If she once gets into as good a +room as this she'll never go—she'll just hang on and on, and nothing +in the world will make her budge." +</P> + +<P> +"What do you want me to do?" asked Delia with irritation. +</P> + +<P> +Nan looked at her scornfully for a moment. "Do? Why, what I told you +to do! Make the room look awful—perfectly hideous. Make it so she +can't help but see we don't want her here. Make it a hint—and a +strong one too." +</P> + +<P> +Delia folded her arms deliberately. "Well, whatever you want to act +like, Nan," she said, "I can tell you I ain't going to do anything +unladylike, so there!" and she stalked out of the room with dignity. +</P> + +<P> +Nan surveyed the place in silence. What was to be done? If she +removed all the furniture but the bed and the bureau and left the +governess nothing to sit down on, it would only reflect discreditably +upon the family's supply of household goods. If she carefully sifted +back the dust Delia had just removed, it would merely prove that the +people in this house were of a slovenly and careless habit, and that +they were sadly in need of some one to oversee their work. Moreover, +would a person as dull of feeling as this governess must be, appreciate +the hint conveyed in so delicate and indirect a manner? No. She would +be sure to lose the point. Nan felt it would never do to take any risk +of her misunderstanding. Whatever she did must be unmistakable and +absolutely direct. +</P> + +<P> +She racked her brain to discover just the right thing, but she was +rewarded by no brilliant idea, and she felt crosser than ever by the +time noon had arrived. But suddenly, at the luncheon table, she gave a +wild leap from her chair and clapped her hands frantically, while Delia +almost let a dish fall in her surprise at this sudden and unexpected +demonstration. +</P> + +<P> +"For the land's sake, what is it now?" she demanded, while Nan caught +her around the waist and whirled her about the room, vegetable dish and +all. +</P> + +<P> +"I've got it! I've got it!" screamed the girl, convulsed with inward +laughter. "I've got the best scheme in the world. Delia, you old +duck! Oh, won't it settle her though! Won't it settle her?" But she +would not reveal who was to be settled, nor how, though Delia pleaded +earnestly to be enlightened and even offered to help her make caramels +as a bribe. +</P> + +<P> +"No, thank you, Ma'am! I wouldn't have time to boil 'em. I'm going to +be as busy as a beaver all the afternoon, so no matter what happens +don't you disturb me," continued Nan, importantly. +</P> + +<P> +Delia shrewdly suspected that the scheme afoot had something to do with +the governess, but she did not dare suggest it. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, well, what I don't know I can't cry over," she said to herself, +"and when Nan's like this, all the king's horses and all the king's men +couldn't stop her, so I might as well hold my tongue. But I'll say +this much, I don't envy that governess her job, whoever she may be." +</P> + +<P> +Meanwhile Nan had gone to her own room and shut and locked the door. +Her next move was to take her night-dress from its hook and slip it +over her head. +</P> + +<P> +"Now I'm going to rehearse," she announced to her reflection in the +glass. "First I must get my eyes to seem kind of wide and starey. No! +not this way. They must look like licorice-drops in milk. There! +that's better! All expressionless, and that kind of thing. I s'pose I +might shut 'em, some somnabulists do; but then I'd be sure to trip over +the furniture and stub my toes, and give the whole business away. No, +I must keep my eyes open; that's certain. Then I must glide when I +walk. My step must be light and ghostly and noiseless. I must be sure +to have it ghostly and noiseless. Now—eyes staring—one, two, +three—step ghostly and noiseless—Oh, bother! What business had that +footstool in my way? If I knock things over like that I'll wake the +house, and Delia would know in a minute what I was up to. There! get +into the corner, you old thing! Now again! Eyes staring—step +ghostly—and noiseless—voice low and mournful, but I must manage to +make her understand every word. Now once more—voice low and mournful— +</P> + +<P> +"Alas! alas! why did she come?—why did she come? (No, I can't say +that! It sounds too much like 'Why did he die! Why did he die?' But +the alas is good! That sounds real creepy and weird.) Now then—Alas! +alas! This is the worst thing that ever happened to me in all my life! +My dear, old home! To think that anybody who isn't wanted should come +and push herself like this into my dear, old home! O father! father! +come home from Bombay, and save me from this awful woman. Turn her out +of the house! Make her go back where she came from! Her hated form +haunts me in my sleep, and I dream all night of her as I see her in the +daytime—tall—and thin—and lanky—with her hair all dragged into that +ugly little knob behind at the back of her head! O father! father! her +eyes are like needles! They prick me when she looks. Save me!—save +me! My heart will break if some one doesn't come and rescue me from +this terrible person. Take her away—take her away! Ah—I see her! I +see her! Get away—get away! You awful creature! Don't you know you +are causing an innocent girl to perish in her youth? Alas, she won't +go! Then listen, reckless woman! and remember this warning—'the way +of intruders is hard!' +</P> + +<P> +"There! that ends it off with a sort of threatening dreadfulness that +ought to scare her stiff. After I've said that in a whisper to freeze +her blood, I'll turn silently from her bedside and glide noiselessly +from the room, wringing my hair and tearing my hands; no, I mean just +the other way, and if that doesn't fix her, why—I'll have to go over +it all again, of course, so I won't forget. Perhaps it would be a good +idea to write it down and learn it off by heart." +</P> + +<P> +The idea in fact recommended itself so thoroughly to her that she +followed her own suggestion without further delay and wrote off the +entire harangue at once, making it, if possible, even more eloquent and +harrowing than it had been in the original. It seemed a very long, +wearisome task, to commit it all to memory, but she did not grudge the +trouble. She had never attempted anything that looked like study with +so much willingness. The afternoon slipped away like a dream, and as +soon as dinner was over she set to work again, and by bed-time had the +thing pretty well under control. Whenever she halted or stumbled she +went over it all again with the most patient perseverance. +</P> + +<P> +"I suppose if I had stuck to things at school like this I'd have been +at the head of the class," she said to herself with a whimsical sense +of her own perversity. +</P> + +<P> +Delia was completely nonplused. She could not imagine what "that child +was up to." There were no evidences anywhere of the means she was +going to employ in the governess' initiation. Her room was in perfect +order, and in Nan's own chamber nothing was unusually amiss. She got +no satisfaction from the girl herself, who kept her lips tightly +closed, except when she was mumbling over her harangue. It was +terribly perplexing—and ominous. +</P> + +<P> +"Good land!" thought Delia in real anxiety, "I only hope she ain't +going to do anything too dreadful. I declare, if it weren't that I'm +so soft where Nannie is concerned I'd say I'd be glad that some one's +coming who may be up to managin' her. I'm free to confess I ain't. If +only her mother had lived! Or, if only my dear Miss Belle hadn't gone +off to the ends of the earth—! Miss Belle could have managed her! No +one could resist Miss Belle, bless her! Ah, dear me, dear me! It's +fifteen years, and to think, I'll never see her face again!" +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap04"></A> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER IV +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +THE GOVERNESS +</H3> + +<P> +The morning of the expected governess' arrival dawned cold and dreary. +Rain fell in torrents, and the streets were drenched and slippery with +slush. All day Nan moped in unhappy expectation of her anticipated +thralldom. At every sound of rumbling wheels before the door she would +fly to the window, torturing herself with the belief that this was the +hack which was conveying the tyrant-governess to the victim-pupil, and +she felt a curious sort of disappointment when no such vehicle appeared +and no such personage arrived, for always the rumbling wheels belonged +to some grocer's cart or butcher's wagon, and by evening the invader +had still not appeared. Then Nan plucked up courage. +</P> + +<P> +"I shouldn't wonder if she had been switched off the road," she said to +Delia, inclining to be quite jolly at the mere thought of such a +grateful possibility. And she pictured to herself an accommodating +engine whizzing the unwelcome guest off into some remote region from +which she would never see the desirability of returning. Nan wished +her no ill, but she did not wish herself ill either. She ate her +dinner quite contentedly, and was just going to settle down comfortably +to some thrilling tale of adventure when Br—r—r! went the bell, and +she knew her fate had descended upon her. +</P> + +<P> +She flew to the parlor and hid behind the folding-door. She heard +Delia ascend the basement stairs. She heard her come along the hall, +and then—it was very strange, but Nan really thought she heard her +give a smothered exclamation that was instantly followed by the word of +warning, "Hush!"—but she must have been mistaken, for it was only Mr. +Turner who was speaking. He was asking for Nan herself. She slipped +from behind the door with the hope at her heart that even now, at the +last minute, the governess had "backed out." Certainly it looked as if +she had, since she saw only the lawyer standing by the hat-stand. She +held out her hand to him with a real smile of greeting when—he stepped +aside and there stood the governess. +</P> + +<P> +At first Nan thought it must be some little girl, so small and slender +looked the figure beside that of the tall man. The eyes beneath the +rain-soaked brim of the governess' hat were soft and dark; her hair was +brown, and the damp wind had blown it into innumerable little curls and +tendrils about her temples, where it took on a ruddy sheen in the gas +light. Her nose was delicate and short; her mouth, which was not +small, was fascinating from the fact that the parting lips disclosed +two rows of perfect teeth. She had two dimples that came and went as +she smiled, and in her chin was a small cleft that was quivering a +little, Nan noticed. She thought the governess looked as if she were +going to cry. Her eyes seemed somewhat "teary round the lashes," and +there was no doubt about it—her chin was quivering. +</P> + +<P> +"Pooh!" thought Nan. "I might have saved myself all that worry. She's +as afraid as she can be. I guess I'll be able to manage her as easy as +pie." +</P> + +<P> +But now Mr. Turner was addressing her. +</P> + +<P> +"Nan," he was saying, "this is Miss Blake. Can't you welcome her to +her new home, my dear?" +</P> + +<P> +Nan hung back in awkward silence, but the new governess did not give +her the opportunity to make the moment an embarrassing one. She +stepped forward, and, taking the girl's hand in her own, said softly: +</P> + +<P> +"Mr. Turner has told me all about you. I hope we shall be very happy +together." +</P> + +<P> +She did not attempt to kiss her. +</P> + +<P> +Nan murmured an indistinct "Yes'm," and shrank back against the wall. +Delia stood beside the new governess with a very curious expression on +her face. For a moment there was silence, and then Mr. Turner broke in +upon it with: +</P> + +<P> +"I think it would be well if Miss Blake were to be shown to her room at +once. She is drenched with the rain and must be cold and hungry. Will +you be good enough, Delia, to get her something to eat while Nan takes +her upstairs?" +</P> + +<P> +Nan started forward quickly at the note of rebuke in the lawyer's voice. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, won't you come to your room?" she asked. +</P> + +<P> +She vaguely wondered what made Delia look so strange and act in such a +dazed, uncertain fashion. She thought she must be a sad "'fraid-cat" +to be overawed by such a little personage as the new governess. +</P> + +<P> +"Now I will say good-night," said Mr. Turner to Miss Blake, as she +started to follow Nan above. "I hope," he added in an undertone, +taking her hand, "that you will be happy. Don't become discouraged. +Send for me whenever you need me. I am always at your service." +</P> + +<P> +She silently bowed her thanks. Somehow she found it difficult to speak +just then. She had been tired and cold before she entered the house, +but it seemed to her she had not known weariness or chill until now. +She felt herself shiver as she turned away from the lawyer and heard +the door close behind him. He seemed to be leaving her alone with an +enemy. +</P> + +<P> +Nan certainly looked anything but amicable. +</P> + +<P> +"Here's your room," she announced, as they reached the upper landing. +She flung open a door, and the new governess found herself stepping +forth into utter darkness, where Nan herself was groping about for +matches. The air of the place was cold and damp. It had the feel of a +room that was unused. It was barren and cheerless. But in the second +preceding Nan's discovery of the matches Miss Blake hoped that when the +gas was lit it would seem more inviting. But it did not. It was bare +and undecorated, and presented anything but an attractive appearance. +</P> + +<P> +The stranger drew two long pins from her hat without saying a word. +Nan turned on her heel and made to leave the room. +</P> + +<P> +"Will you please tell me where I can find some warm water?" inquired +Miss Blake. +</P> + +<P> +"Washstand in that little dressing-room. Left-hand faucet," announced +Nan, curtly, and marched away. +</P> + +<P> +The governess gently closed the door. +</P> + +<P> +Perhaps if Nan had remained there to see she would have wondered if +Miss Blake were quite in her right mind. Her behavior was certainly +extraordinary. The tears rained down her cheeks, and she did not try +to stop them. She just stood in the middle of the floor and gazed +about at the awkwardly-placed furniture, the faded carpet, the bare +walls, and the ugly mantel-piece as if she could not take her eyes from +them. She turned slowly from one thing to another, and presently, in a +sort of timid, hungry way, she stretched out her hand and touched each +separate object with her caressing fingers, crying very hard the while +and murmuring to herself in so low a voice that no one could have +overheard. +</P> + +<P> +Even Nan must have softened to her as she stood there crying softly and +smiling through her tears at this bare and unfamiliar room. Even Nan +must have been moved to wonder what Miss Blake had suffered that she +was so glad to get into such an uninviting shelter as this. +</P> + +<P> +But Nan was down stairs in the basement watching Delia prepare a dainty +supper for the governess, and scowling at her as she saw to what +trouble she went to make it appetizing and delicate. +</P> + +<P> +"There, Delia Connor!" she burst out resentfully, "you're the worst +turn-coat I ever saw in my life! This very afternoon you looked black +as thunder when you thought she had come, and now you are just dancing +attendance on her, as if she was the best friend you ever had!" +</P> + +<P> +"Perhaps she is," responded Delia, placing sprigs of parsley neatly +about the sliced chicken and setting the coffee-pot on the range. +</P> + +<P> +Nan tossed her head scornfully. "Well, I like that! I should think +you'd be ashamed! A perfect stranger like her!" +</P> + +<P> +Delia did not answer. She was crushing ice for the olives, and as Nan +spoke she bent her face over the table and pounded away in silence. +But when she had finished, she lifted her head and said, amiably: +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, you can't tell. By the looks of her I should think she is a +good-natured little body. She has the true eyes. When you see eyes +like that you can mostly be sure they've an honest soul behind 'em. I +shouldn't wonder if she'd be a good friend to any one who'd let her." +</P> + +<P> +"Huh!" sneered Nan, wrathfully, "that means, I s'pose, that you intend +to let her. Never talk to me of turn-coats any more, Delia Connor!" +</P> + +<P> +Delia caught up a coal-hod and strode deliberately off toward the +cellar stairs. When she came back she was laden down with kindlings +and coal. +</P> + +<P> +"What you going to do with those?" demanded Nan, imperatively. +</P> + +<P> +"Build a fire in the library. I guess a spark'll look good to the poor +little soul—coming in out of the cold and wet." +</P> + +<P> +This was the last straw. Nan's eyes flashed, and she tore after Delia +upstairs, scolding as fast as the words would come. +</P> + +<P> +"The idea! The idea! A fire! 'Poor little soul!' And many's the +time I've come in out of the cold and you haven't even as much as lit +the gas! Oh, no; never mind me! I can come in out of the cold till +every tooth in my head chatters, and you wouldn't care a straw. Why, +Delia Connor, we never have that fire lit. You just know we don't! +There hasn't been a fire in that grate since daddy went away! You know +very well there hasn't, and now the first thing you do is to light it +for that horrid governess-woman that's going to boss you 'round like +anything, and make me do all sorts of hateful things. I tell you what +it is, Delia Connor, you don't care a single thing about me. I know +just how 'twill be. You'll help her to do anything she wants to, and +you'll never stand up for me a bit. It's mean of you, Delia! It's +downright mean of you. And it's just because she's got those dimples +and things, and smiles at you as if you were her best friend. But she +needn't think she can manage me. I'm not going to be ordered about by +her, if she has got a soft voice and shiny eyes!" +</P> + +<P> +Nan and the fire sputtered and blazed as though they were trying to see +which could outdo the other, and Delia stood by looking first at this +one and then at that with a good deal less fear of the sparks from the +grate than of those from Nan's eyes. +</P> + +<P> +She knew better than to try to pacify the girl when her temper was at +such a white-heat, and she inwardly wondered what would happen if the +governess should come down while it was yet at its worst. As if in +answer to her question they heard the sound of an opening door above, +and immediately after Miss Blake's light steps upon the stairs. Nan +bit a word off square in the middle and set her lips tightly together. +Delia removed the "blower" from the grate and the dancing flames leaped +high up the chimney and sent a ruddy glow about the room. The only +sounds to be heard were the comfortable ticking of the tall clock in +the corner and the low purring of the fire behind its bars. Miss Blake +came down the hall and paused on the library threshold. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, how jolly!" she cried, clapping her hands like a delighted child +and running forward eagerly to the hearth. "How perfectly jolly! +Don't you think an open fire is the most comfortable thing in the +world? And I always loved this one particularly—I mean this kind," +she corrected herself quickly. +</P> + +<P> +Nan made no response. She sat in her father's study-chair as stiff and +stolid as a lay-figure in a shop window, with her lips drawn primly +over her teeth. +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake was, or pretended to be, unconscious of her attitude, +however, and went on talking as easily as though she had the most +appreciative of listeners. +</P> + +<P> +"When I was a little girl I used to love to cuddle down here on the +hearth-rug—I mean I used to love to cuddle down on the hearth-rug and +look into the burning coals. I used to see all sorts of wonderful +things in the flames. They used to tell me I'd 'singe my curly pow +a-biggin' castles in the air,' but I didn't mind, did I—I mean I +didn't mind," she caught herself up quickly. +</P> + +<P> +Delia coughed behind her hand and hurriedly left the room in order to +get Miss Blake's supper, which she meant to serve upstairs for the +occasion. +</P> + +<P> +As soon as she was gone the new governess turned toward Nan in a +strange apologetic sort of way and said: +</P> + +<P> +"I think, if you'll excuse me, I'll just cuddle down on the rug as I +used to do when—when I was a little girl. It seems so good to get +back—to an open fire that it makes me quite homesick. You won't mind, +will you?" +</P> + +<P> +Nan gave a grunt that was meant for "No," and the new governess plumped +down upon the floor with her chin in her palms and her elbows on her +knees, looking so much like a little girl that for a second Nan had a +wild impulse to plump down beside her and inquire, by way of opening +the acquaintance— +</P> + +<P> +"Say, does your hair curl like that naturally—or does your mother put +it up at night?" or something equally introductory and to the point. +But of course she did no such thing, and when Delia reappeared she +found them regarding the fire in perfect silence. +</P> + +<P> +At the sound of her step Miss Blake lifted her head and gave Nan a +bewildering smile. +</P> + +<P> +"How stupid I have been! Do forgive me!" she said. "We have been +having what the Germans call 'an English conversation,' haven't we? I +was thinking so hard I quite forgot you—and myself. Ah, what a pretty +supper! But I put you to so much trouble," and she turned on Delia two +very grateful eyes, while she jumped to her feet with the lightest +possible ease. +</P> + +<P> +Delia beamed down upon her beatifically and gave an extra touch to the +dainty tray. Nan from her chair scowled darkly upon the whole +performance. Delia had deserted her cause; had gone over bodily to the +enemy—that was plain. But she needn't flaunt her defection in Nan's +very face. Why, it was positively disgraceful the way Delia fetched +and carried for this person already, and looked, all the while, as if +she could hardly keep from dancing for very joy at the privilege. +Well, this governess needn't think that Nan was the kind to be won over +by a few smiles and some flickering dimples. When Nan said a thing she +meant it and she stuck to it, too. She wasn't a turn-coat like some +folks she knew. +</P> + +<P> +"'Alas, alas! my dear old home—! To think that anybody who isn't +wanted should come and push herself like this into my dear old home! +Oh, father, her eyes are like—' Good gracious! all that description +part would have to be changed!" Nan pulled herself together with a +visible jerk. How could she speak of "needly eyes" when those of the +governess were so deep and soft and gray that they made you feel +like—no, they didn't either; but they weren't needly all the same. +No! That whole description part would have to be changed. Bother! +Well, if it came to that she guessed she could do it! "Her hated form +haunts me in my sleep, and I dream of her all night as I see her in the +daytime—little and dear, with her hair all shimmery and soft and her +eyes kind of kissing you softly all the time, and—" Goodness! that +would never do! Why it would be crazy to call on one's father to +rescue one from a person like that. Well, she'd leave out the +description altogether, that's what she'd do. She— +</P> + +<P> +"Did you speak?" asked the governess, in her musical voice, turning +toward Nan inquiringly, and then the girl suddenly realized that she +had been mumbling her thoughts aloud. +</P> + +<P> +"No, I didn't," she responded, with irritation. "It was too bad," she +declared to herself it was, "that after all the trouble she had taken +to learn the thing by heart, she should be pestered to death by having +to make changes in it this way—at the last minute, too. Why wasn't +Miss Blake tall and lanky and needly-eyed and a fright, she'd like to +know? It was just like her, though! So contrary! To change about and +upset all Nan's plans. Well, as long as there was so much fuss about +the thing, she s'posed she'd give it up." +</P> + +<P> +"She's so little, it'll be easy enough to manage her. I guess it isn't +worth while. I can just say, to-morrow or next day, 'Miss Blake, I've +come to the conclusion you don't suit,' and she'll go right off. She +may cry a little, but I won't mind that; and if she begs to stay, I'll +say, 'Now there's no use teasing! When I once say a thing I mean it!' +and that will settle her once for all." +</P> + +<P> +Delia was pressing the governess to take more supper when Nan again +waked to what was going on about her. +</P> + +<P> +"Why, you don't eat any more than you used—I mean than a bird. Do +take a little more chicken, do! And a cup of coffee, nice and hot, +that's a good—lady!" +</P> + +<P> +It was really too humiliating! It was more than Nan could bear. She +sprang to her feet and without a word—with nothing but a glance of +withering scorn at Delia—swept out of the room and upstairs to bed. +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake looked after her with strange, wondering eyes, but made no +attempt to follow her. She just turned to Delia and stretched out her +hands. +</P> + +<P> +"O Delia! Delia!" she faltered, brokenly. +</P> + +<P> +The woman came to her and took both the little hands in hers. "Bless +you, dearie!" she cried. "That I ever lived to see the day! There, +there, lamb, don't cry so, Allanah! See, I'm not crying, am I now?" +sobbed she, kneeling beside the stranger and hugging her knees wildly. +"Oh, but it's glad I am to see your dear face again! Now tell me all +about it—how you came to know we need you so bad?" +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap05"></A> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER V +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +GETTING ACQUAINTED +</H3> + +<P> +Nan, in spite of the fact that she assured herself her heart was +broken, fell asleep as soon as her head touched the pillow. She slept +heavily customarily but to-night her rest was fitful and troubled. She +kept dreaming strange dreams that caused her to twitch in her sleep and +give queer little cries of distress and moans of fretfulness. +Sometimes she seemed to be trying to overtake something that was +constantly eluding her. First it was a long, lank creature with +piercing eyes and a knob at the back of its head which it seemed to be +Nan's duty, not to say pleasure, to shoot off with a paper of needles. +Then it was something she must recollect or be put to death for +forgetting; some awful harangue that she had been doomed to deliver +before Delia and a vast crowd of other people, all of whom were staring +at her regretfully and murmuring to one another that it was a shame +such a hoyden should be allowed to live; and again it was some dainty +little creature with tender eyes and shining hair that Nan longed to +follow but could not because of something inside her breast that held +her back and would not let her call. +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake did not go to her room until very late. She and Delia kept +up a steady stream of conversation until long after midnight, and even +then the governess would not have paused if Delia had not been struck +with sudden compunction. +</P> + +<P> +"Dear heart alive!" she cried, scrambling to her feet hastily as the +clock chimed twelve. "Here you've been wore out with tiredness and +excitement and I keep you up till all hours pressin' you with questions +that you ain't fit to answer, just as if we wouldn't have time an' to +spare together for the rest of our lives, please Heaven! Now go to +bed, dearie, so you'll be all rested and fresh in the morning." +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake shook her head. "No, not all the rest of our lives +together, Delia," she cried, hurriedly; "it can only be for a year at +most. You said it would be a year, didn't you? Well, then, you know I +could not stay after that." +</P> + +<P> +"Go to bed, dearie," was Delia's sole response. "And may you sleep +easy and have no dreams." +</P> + +<P> +She took her upstairs herself, just as if the governess had been a +little girl; and was not satisfied until she had brushed out the masses +of shining hair and woven them into a long, ruddy braid behind. Then +she smoothed the pillow lovingly and with another hearty "sleep well" +went down stairs to "do up" her dishes and get the house closed for the +night. +</P> + +<P> +When she finally stole up to her own room through the pitchy halls she +was glad to see that there was no light in the governess' room and that +all was darkness and silence within. +</P> + +<P> +"Good! She's asleep by this time, the dear!" murmured the faithful +soul, and was soon snoring peacefully herself, quite worn out with the +excitement of the evening. +</P> + +<P> +But Miss Blake was not asleep. Her eyes stared widely into the +darkness and her brain was spinning with all sorts of teasing thoughts. +She listened to the ticking of her watch beneath her pillow—to the +muffled chime of the tall clock in the room below—to the gentle rattle +of plaster inside the walls where some hidden mouse was scuttling in +search of a stolen supper, and tried to soothe herself into a doze but +failed and tried and failed again. +</P> + +<P> +Suddenly she sat bolt upright in bed. The sound she heard now was a +new one, and one that caused her flesh to tingle. It was the sound of +a stealthy hand upon her door. The knob turned noiselessly, the hinges +gave a faint whine, and there on the threshold stood a white-robed +figure, ghastly and spectral in the pallid light that fell upon it from +the cloud-freed moon outside. Miss Blake did not utter a sound and the +apparition glided forward with slow, measured steps until it stood +beside her bed. Its eyes were staring and wide and fixed. +</P> + +<P> +"It's Nan!" thought Miss Blake, not daring to speak aloud. +</P> + +<P> +The apparition did not remove its gaze. Presently it sighed. Then it +raised its head and spoke and its voice was weirdly low and mournful. +</P> + +<P> +"Alas, alas!" it wailed. "This is the worst thing that ever happened +to me in all my life. My dear old home! To think that anybody who +isn't wanted should come and push herself like this into my dear old +home! What does she know of the way I feel? I can never tell her how +I hate to have her here, for that would be unladylike. But oh, how I +hate it! No, I must keep my lips closed and bear her persecution in +silence." +</P> + +<P> +Two white hands were raised and wrung in a way that was truly tragic. +</P> + +<P> +"O father, father!" groaned the ghost, making wild grabs at its hair, +"come home from Bombay and save me from this awful woman. Turn her out +of the house. Make her go back where she came from. Her hated form +haunts me in my sleep and I dream all night of her as I see her in the +daytime." +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake caught her breath in a struggling gasp of dread as to what +would come next. +</P> + +<P> +"Tall and thin and lanky, with hair all dragged into that ugly little +hard knob at the back of her head!" +</P> + +<P> +The ghost paused, and its uneasy hands clasped each other convulsively +while it showed plainly that it was confused in its mind and struggling +to grasp a thought it could not express. +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake breathed a deep sigh of relief. She had really begun to +suspect that it was a vision of herself that was haunting Nan in her +nightmare. Of course now she knew better. For surely she was not +"tall and lanky," and her hair was certainly not "dragged into an ugly +little knob at the back of her head." How grateful she was it had not +proved to be herself. +</P> + +<P> +"O father! her eyes are like needles." +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake could have shouted for joy. But who could this awful +bugbear be? +</P> + +<P> +"They prick me when she looks! Save me! Save me! my heart will break +if some one doesn't come and rescue me from this terrible person. Take +her away! She's coming at me with her needly eyes! Daddy! Daddy!" +</P> + +<P> +The uneasy spirit rocked backward and forward in the intensity of its +emotion. It stretched out its arms and wagged a threatening +forefinger, while it mumbled some unintelligible warning in a voice +that faltered and wavered, and then frayed off to a mere wheeze that +sounded suspiciously like a snore. +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake would have risen if she had dared, but she dreaded the +effect even the slightest shock might have upon Nan, in what she never +doubted was a somnambulistic trance. But when the white-robed figure +turned slowly about and retraced its steps to the threshold, she +started up and noiselessly followed after to make sure that the girl +arrived safely in her own bed and showed no sign of further wandering +that night. +</P> + +<P> +Never was a passage from room to room made more deliberately, and when +the bed was reached the phantom scrambled into it, dragged the blankets +closely about her shoulders and with a sigh of satisfaction settled +herself to slumber. +</P> + +<P> +The governess crept back to her own room, thoroughly chilled and +shivering with nervousness. It was an hour or more before she felt +herself growing drowsy, but at last she dropped asleep and slept +heavily until long past the usual rising hour. +</P> + +<P> +Nan waked at her accustomed time, feeling tired and irritable. She +found Delia in the kitchen, preparing a tempting breakfast with more +than her habitual care. +</P> + +<P> +"Huh!" grunted the girl. "We have hot muffins every morning, don't we? +And griddle-cakes! and eggs, and scallops, and fried potatoes, too! +Oh, no! we're not making any fuss for the governess. Oh, no! none at +all! If I were you I'd be ashamed of myself, Delia Connor!" +</P> + +<P> +Delia pursed her lips together and made no retort. +</P> + +<P> +It did not improve Nan's temper to have to wait for her breakfast until +Miss Blake should appear. But Delia made no attempt to serve her, and +she was too proud to ask. Happily the delay was not too serious, and +the governess appeared at the dining-room door just in time to prevent +the muffins from falling and Nan's temper from rising. +</P> + +<P> +"Good morning!" said the cheery voice. +</P> + +<P> +"—morning!" snapped Nan. +</P> + +<P> +"I overslept," continued the governess apologetically; "and I am +thoroughly ashamed of myself. I beg your pardon. But I was very +tired. I did not sleep over-well the first part of the night." +</P> + +<P> +"You're not late—or—or anything," said Nan. "I never get up till I +feel like it." +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake made no comment. +</P> + +<P> +"And how did you sleep?" she asked after a moment, her eyes laughing +mischievously as though in spite of her, while her face remained quite +sober. +</P> + +<P> +"All right," responded Nan, uncommunicatively. +</P> + +<P> +"No dreams?" +</P> + +<P> +The girl shook her head non-committally. +</P> + +<P> +"Now, I wonder whether I could tell you your dream," ventured the +governess, the light fading a little in her eyes. +</P> + +<P> +Nan did not encourage her to try. +</P> + +<P> +"You were being pursued by some awful creature—oh, quite a gorgon, I +should say!" +</P> + +<P> +The girl lifted her head. +</P> + +<P> +"This relentless creature was deaf to all your appeals, though you +appealed to her touchingly, something after this style: Alas, Alas! +this is the worst thing that ever happened to me in all my—" +</P> + +<P> +"Stop!" cried Nan, suddenly, with blazing eyes, "I didn't! I didn't! +Delia listened. She told on me. You're making fun of me, and you're +both of you just as mean as you can be, so there!" +</P> + +<P> +She started up from her chair, which she thrust behind her so roughly +that it fell to the ground with a bang, and rushed toward the door in a +fury of anger and mortification. +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake sprang from her place and tried to detain her, crying: +</P> + +<P> +"Nan, Nan! What do you mean? I was only in sport! Come back, dear, +and let me tell you all about it." But the girl fled past her, +flinging her hand passionately away and spurning her attempt at +explanation. A moment later the street door flung to with a loud slam. +</P> + +<P> +The quick tears sprang to the governess' eyes, but she crushed them +back. +</P> + +<P> +"Don't mind her, dearie," said Delia, consolingly, but with an effort +and a sigh. "She ain't always like this. She's sorter upset just now. +She don't mean any harm, and she'll be sorry enough for what she's done +come lunchtime. Now, you see." +</P> + +<P> +"But I don't understand," Miss Blake cried. "She said you listened and +that you told me, and that we were both making fun of her. She thinks +we are in league against her. What can she mean? Why, I was only +repeating some nonsense she said in her sleep last night, and I thought +she would be amused to hear an account of it. She came into my room +and orated in the most tragic fashion. What does she mean by saying +you listened and told me?" +</P> + +<P> +Delia shook her head. What she privately thought on the subject she +would not have told Miss Blake for worlds. +</P> + +<P> +"If you take my advice," she ventured, "you won't mind what Nan says. +She's quick as a flash, but she's got a good, big heart of her own, and +it's in the right place, too. Just let her be." +</P> + +<P> +"Let her be?" interrupted Miss Blake, hastily, "not if this is the way +she is going to be. That is not what I am here for. I am here to +educate her, Delia, and I intend to do it." +</P> + +<P> +Delia could see that she meant what she said. There was a determined +expression about her mouth that would have surprised Nan if she had +seen it. But at noon, when she returned, the governess' face was as +placid as ever. She and Delia were discussing the price of butter in +the most intimate fashion possible, and Nan snorted audibly as she +heard them agree that it was ruinously high. +</P> + +<P> +Delia had played a poor enough part before, "kow-towing" to the enemy +the first thing, but now she had deliberately betrayed her—Nan. Had +"gone back on her" in the most flagrant fashion. It was the meanest +thing she had ever heard of and she'd pay Delia back, you see if she +wouldn't! To listen at key-holes and then go and tell-tale! +</P> + +<P> +"Have you had a pleasant morning?" Miss Blake asked, affably, as Nan +entered the room. +</P> + +<P> +She got a grudging affirmative, but nothing daunted she continued: "It +is so cold now there ought to be good skating. Perhaps you and I can +take a spin some day. Do you skate?" +</P> + +<P> +Again Nan answered "Yes," but this time there was a gleam of interest +in her tone. +</P> + +<P> +"When my trunk comes I must show you my skates. I think them +particularly fine: altogether too fine for one who skates as +indifferently well as I do. I am sure you will prove a much better +skater than I am. Somehow I fancy you are very proficient." +</P> + +<P> +"I like to skate, and I guess I can do it pretty well. My father +taught me—to do figures and things. I don't know any one who can +skate as well as my father!" said Nan, with pardonable pride. +</P> + +<P> +"I used to skate a great deal when I lived in Holland," Miss Blake +observed. "There every one is so expert that I used to feel like a +great bungler. Seeing others do so beautifully made me feel as though +I were particularly awkward, and I really did keep in the background +because I was so ashamed of my clumsy performances. Perhaps though, +that was only an excuse for my not being able to do better, and one +ought not to offer excuses, ought one? Is there any pond near here on +which we might skate?" +</P> + +<P> +Nan's eyes gleamed. +</P> + +<P> +"Why, yes," she said. "We could go to the Park, or if you didn't want +to go there, there's a sort of a pond they call the 'Steamer,' quite +near here. Lots of people skate on it, and it's lovely fun. And +there's a place the other side of the Boulevard, where you can coast +beautifully. It's a jolly hill. We take our bobs there, and—the boys +and me—and—" +</P> + +<P> +"I," suggested Miss Blake, casually—"the boys and I." +</P> + +<P> +Nan blinked her eyes. The correction, however, passed by unresented. +</P> + +<P> +"The folks here think it isn't nice for me to bob, and—and things. +They think it's rough!" +</P> + +<P> +"Perhaps," ventured Miss Blake, "that may be because they have seen it +done in a rough way, or by rough persons. You know a great deal +depends upon how you do a thing." +</P> + +<P> +Again Nan blinked her eyes. She was thinking as she had the night +before: +</P> + +<P> +"Pooh! I can manage her," while Miss Blake, quite unconscious of what +was going on in her pupil's mind, continued: "I think if the weather +holds, we may have some very good sport, you and I. Don't you think +so? And now run upstairs and smooth your hair and wash your hands, for +Delia will have luncheon ready very shortly, and one must make one's +self tidy for meals, you know." +</P> + +<P> +And then a very singular thing occurred. Nan found herself on the +stairs in obedience to the governess' command almost before she was +aware, and she proceeded to make herself tidy, with no thought of +refusal at all. +</P> + +<P> +But at luncheon came the first tug-of-war. +</P> + +<P> +Nan was about to repeat her performance of the morning, namely, to push +her chair aside when she had finished eating and unceremoniously leave +the table. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, pardon me!" interposed Miss Blake, quickly. "Please remain at the +table! You were excused at breakfast, but I am sure there is no +necessity for your running away again. We must pay each other the +respect to remain seated until we have both finished eating. You see, +I am still drinking my tea, and you must allow me another of Delia's +delicious cookies." +</P> + +<P> +It was all said very gently, but Nan recognized beneath all the kind +suggestion an unmistakable tone of command. +</P> + +<P> +She thrust her chair back still further. +</P> + +<P> +"I don't want to wait!" she answered, dryly. "I hate sitting at the +table after I'm through. You can eat all the cookies you like, only I +don't want to wait." +</P> + +<P> +"Ah, but, my dear, I want you to wait," Miss Blake said. "I demand of +you no more than I myself am willing to do. We must be courteous to +each other, and if you had not finished eating I should most certainly +remain until you had. I expect you to do no less for me." +</P> + +<P> +"Well, I can't help it! I don't want to stay and I—I won't!" declared +Nan, with a sudden burst of defiance. +</P> + +<P> +"Very well," returned Miss Blake, calmly. "Of course, you are too old +to be forced to act in a ladylike manner if you do not desire to do so. +But, equally, I am too old to be treated with discourtesy and +disrespect. If you are willing to behave in a rude manner and bear the +reproach that you will deserve, why, well and good—or, rather, ill and +bad! But I cannot sit at table with any but gentle mannered people. +Unless you wish to behave as becomes a lady, we must take our meals +apart." +</P> + +<P> +There was no smile now on the governess' face. Nan suddenly got the +impression that perhaps it would not be quite "as easy as pie" to +"manage" Miss Blake. It seemed to the girl that for the first time in +her life she had encountered determination outside of her own. It +challenged her from every line in the governess' little figure. For a +moment she hesitated before it. Then, gathering herself together and +summoning her dumb demon, she gave her shoulders a sullen shrug and +left the room without a word. +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake finished her luncheon as though nothing had happened. Then +she rose, and, going into the kitchen, said a few words to Delia—words +that caused the good woman to blink hard for a second and then +exclaimed: +</P> + +<P> +"Yes'm. I will. It hurts me to cross the child, but I s'pose it is +best. You have a brave spirit to set yourself against Nan. I wouldn't +have the stren'th, let alone the will. But I s'pose you know what you +can do." +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, yes, Delia," replied the governess, with conviction. "I know very +well what I can do, but I shouldn't know if I did not have you to help +me. We're both conspiring for Nan's good, and we have to work +together." +</P> + +<P> +The rest of the afternoon Miss Blake spent in unpacking her trunk and +in disposing of its contents. Beside the trunk there was a cumbersome +case, a hamper, and a large crate such as is used for the shipment of +bicycles. Delia gazed at it in wonderment. Did the governess use a +wheel? If so, what would Mrs. Newton say? Delia trembled at the +thought, and eyed the box with especial interest as it was being +carried down stairs and deposited in the basement hall closet. +</P> + +<P> +Nan wandered in about twilight and found the house cheerfully lighted +and warm and comfortable. There was a fire in the library grate, and +she threw herself into a chair before it and lounged there luxuriously, +while above her head the new governess was tripping to and fro, +"putting her room to rights," Nan suspected. She wondered about that +room. She would have liked to go up there and see if those skates had +arrived, but of course she could not do that. The governess must not +think she cared to see her when she wasn't forced to. No, indeed! +</P> + +<P> +Later Miss Blake came down stairs, and drawing her chair nearer the +lamp, commenced to sew. Presently up came Delia. +</P> + +<P> +"Miss Blake," she said, with an emphasis Nan noticed and did not like, +"your dinner is served." +</P> + +<P> +Nan jumped up with an exaggerated yawn. Her hair was rough and +disordered, her frock was rumpled and untidy, her hands were obviously +soiled. Miss Blake remarked on none of these things. She laid her bit +of needle-work upon the table and quietly passed down stairs before Nan. +</P> + +<P> +The table was set for one, and the governess seated herself before the +solitary place. +</P> + +<P> +Nan stood at the side of the table in stiff and silent amazement. +</P> + +<P> +"Where's my place, Delia?" she called, ignoring Miss Blake, except for +an angry flash of her eyes. +</P> + +<P> +But Miss Blake was not to be ignored. +</P> + +<P> +"I thought you had decided to dine alone," she said. "At least, that +was the impression you conveyed to me at luncheon. If you have changed +your mind, Delia can easily set your place. Shall she do so?" +</P> + +<P> +The question was simple, but Nan knew what it involved. She was +speechless with rage. Her face alternately flushed and paled, while +her lips twitched spasmodically. +</P> + +<P> +"I—I—hate you!" she cried at last, with breathless vehemence. +"You've no right here. When my father comes he'll send you right away. +You see if he don't!" +</P> + +<P> +She flung herself in a paroxysm of anger out of the room. +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake ate her dinner, it is true, but perhaps it was scarcely +strange that her relish of it was not great. Every mouthful seemed to +choke her. Delia saw her hand tremble as she raised her tumbler of +water to her lips. +</P> + +<P> +"This'll make you sick, dearie, this striving with Nan. She'll never +give in! Her will is that strong." +</P> + +<P> +But the governess shook her head. +</P> + +<P> +Nan ate no dinner that night, and the next day she slept late; that is, +she remained in bed late. Lying there cross and unhappy, she heard +sounds of voices in Miss Blake's room. Occasionally there were other +sounds as well; sounds of hammering and the moving of furniture across +the floor. +</P> + +<P> +When Nan was "good and ready" she rose and strolled down stairs with an +air of nonchalance that was for Miss Blake's benefit, should she chance +to see. +</P> + +<P> +She found the dining-room in perfect order and the kitchen deserted. +No breakfast, hot and tempting, awaited her as of old. Delia was +evidently upstairs, and Nan was too stubborn to call her down. She +prowled about the closets and cupboards until she discovered some cold +oatmeal, a bit of meat also cold, and a slice of bread. These, with a +cup of chilling milk, she gulped down hastily and with a thorough +disrelish. +</P> + +<P> +"Ugh!" she exclaimed, "how I hate it—and her!" +</P> + +<P> +It was a cheerless morning. The temperature had risen and a thick rain +was falling. There was nothing to do out-of-doors so Nan remained +within. It was Friday, and one of Delia's sweeping days. She was shut +up in the draughty parlor with a mob-cap on her head "cleaning for dear +life," as she expressed it. After a brief experience of the cold and +discomfort of open windows and clouds of dust, Nan gave up trying to +talk to Delia and wandered out of the parlor as disconsolately as she +had wandered into it. By and by she heard Miss Blake's door open and +close and saw the governess come forth, leave the house, and walk +rapidly down the street. She turned in at the Newton's gate and +disappeared behind the vestibule door. Nan had flown to the window to +gaze after her. +</P> + +<P> +"Whatever can she want there," wondered the girl. +</P> + +<P> +The question bothered her. She had not been able to get direct news of +Ruth's condition because she had not dared inquire again after the way +she had been treated, but in a round-about manner she had heard that +the child had a fever. +</P> + +<P> +"What fever?" she wondered. "Do people die of fever? If she dies will +that be because I left her on the ground while I ran to get that +milkman to help carry her home?" +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake was not gone long, but it was luncheon-time when she +returned. +</P> + +<P> +"Ah, good morning!" she said, pleasantly, to Nan, who happened to be in +the hall. "I have pleasant news for you. Your little friend Ruth +Newton is better, and her mamma says she would be grateful to you and +me if we would come in once in a while and help her to amuse the poor +child. Will you go with me to-morrow? Mrs. Newton said particularly +that she hoped you would." +</P> + +<P> +A curious expression flitted across Nan's face. +</P> + +<P> +"Mrs. Newton hates me," she announced. "She doesn't want me to see +Ruth." +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake drew off her gloves carefully. +</P> + +<P> +"I have explained certain matters to Mrs. Newton, Nan," she said, "and +she is quite satisfied that she was partly mistaken in her judgment of +you the other day. She says that she is willing to apologize for some +of her accusations, and she has written you a little note. Now, come, +and we will both go down to luncheon. I see Delia is here to tell us +it is served." +</P> + +<P> +"She takes it for granted I'll go," thought Nan, and indeed she went +quite willingly, and what was more, remained respectfully seated in her +place until Miss Blake gave her permission to depart by rising herself. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap06"></A> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER VI +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +WHEELS WITHIN WHEELS +</H3> + +<P> +"I think, Delia," said the governess, as Nan was about to go upstairs, +"if you have an ax, or something of the sort, I'll try to unbox my +bicycle." +</P> + +<P> +Nan came to an abrupt halt. Bicycle! The word went through her with +an electric thrill, and sent her blood tingling. Then she dragged +herself unwillingly away. What had she to do with the bicycle of a +woman she hated. +</P> + +<P> +"O Nan!" Miss Blake exclaimed, before the girl's lagging footsteps had +carried her halfway up the staircase, "I'm sure your strong young arms +can help us with this big elephant. Will you lend a hand?" +</P> + +<P> +Now could the governess have suspected that that was precisely what Nan +had been longing to do? But she could not have lingered unless she had +been given the excuse by Miss Blake herself. Had the request been made +to serve as that excuse? +</P> + +<P> +Nan did not stop to question. She came flinging down stairs, two steps +at a time, and Miss Blake and Delia smiled above her head as she bent +down, wrenching and tugging with her main strength at the boards and +stubborn nails, too excited to know that half the force she used would +have served her better. +</P> + +<P> +"There! that's my bicycle!" announced Miss Blake, displaying the +beautiful machine with the pride of a possessor, when the last stay had +been unscrewed, and the slender wheel stood revealed in all the glory +of its spotless nickel-plate and rubber tires. +</P> + +<P> +Nan gazed at it in speechless admiration. It had been the dream of her +life to own such a machine, but she had pleaded for one in vain. Mr. +Turner had explained to her that what money he held in trust for her +was no more than served to pay for her running expenses. +</P> + +<P> +"You know your father is not a rich man," he had said, "and lately he +has met with losses. He wishes you to be brought up under home +influences rather than at a boarding-school among strangers. He +desires you to be well educated, and naturally all this costs. Your +father is willing to make many sacrifices that you may be well provided +for, but he is not able to indulge you in a matter like this of the +bicycle. I wish I did not have to refuse you, but I think with him, +that your most important need should be supplied first, and if after +that little remains for mere indulgence, you must be satisfied. By and +by you will see that his course is best, if you do not see it already." +</P> + +<P> +But Nan had never been able to feel that it was best that she should +not have a bicycle. Now that the new governess had come and had proved +so "horrid," she felt it still less. "Half the money she gets would +buy me a first-rate safety," she had thought often and often and often, +as she groaned over her father's perversity. +</P> + +<P> +But here was one of the wonderful affairs actually in the house, and if +it did not belong to her, what of that? What was it the governess was +just saying? +</P> + +<P> +"I am quite sure you could use this wheel if we should shift the saddle +up a bit, that is, if you care to ride. As soon as the ground is clear +I will teach you if you like." +</P> + +<P> +Nan's face was radiant. "Oh, I know how," she said. "I've practiced +lots on—on—a person's I know. Only it wasn't a—a—girl's wheel. +But I can ride." +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake was rubbing down the slender spokes with a piece of chamois +skin. +</P> + +<P> +"You are welcome to use mine, then," she said simply. +</P> + +<P> +Nan choked out a meagre "Thank you." It was not a gracious +acknowledgment, but the governess accepted it, and really felt a glow +of satisfaction in having called out even so much as an acceptance of +her favor from her arbitrary young charge. +</P> + +<P> +"Small favors thankfully received," she thought with a smile at her own +humility. +</P> + +<P> +Nan stood leaning against the wall with her hands behind her, watching +the manoeuvres of the leathern rag as it flashed up and down the nickel +spokes and around and about the hubs, guided by the dexterous hand of +the little governess. +</P> + +<P> +"Yes, I think we can pass many a jolly hour on this machine," resumed +Miss Blake, "after the ground is clear of snow, and after we are clear +of our lessons. We'll begin our studies on Monday, Nan. That will be +commencing with the new week, and we must be very conscientious about +our work before we indulge in any play." +</P> + +<P> +"There!" thought Nan, with a rush of antagonism, "I might have known +she'd make some kind of a fuss before she'd let me use it. I guess +she's sorry she promised in the first place, and wants to kind of back +out of it. Oh, well, I might have known. Now she'll pile on lessons +and things till there's no time for anything else. That's her way of +getting out of it." +</P> + +<P> +But she made no comment. She stood kicking her heel against the +surbase, silently watching the sparkling machine. Presently she turned +and stalked upstairs without a word. +</P> + +<P> +Delia gave Miss Blake an apologetic glance, but the governess +composedly rose, and, stowing her property safely away against the +closet wall, closed the door upon it and with a kind word to the woman +beside her went upstairs as though nothing had happened. +</P> + +<P> +She knew what was in Nan's mind. She could read it as distinctly as if +the sudden wrinkles on her forehead and the quick set of her obstinate +jaw had been printed text. +</P> + +<P> +"Poor child!" thought the governess, "how she hates study and—me. How +she rebels against restraint. So she thinks I am trying to take back +my word. No wonder that makes her furious." +</P> + +<P> +She went into her room and closed the door, but after a moment she came +back and opened it again. +</P> + +<P> +"Nan might feel shut out," she said to herself, and so she left it +standing invitingly ajar that in case the girl cared to come in she +would not have to knock. She smiled to herself as she did it. She +knew well enough Nan would not care to come in. "Still there might be +a chance!"—she left the door open on the chance. +</P> + +<P> +The more Nan thought of Delia's baseness the more she inwardly raged +against it. She sat in her own room with her feet over the register +and munched caramels and nursed her grievance all the afternoon. Delia +was miserable. She had tried by every means in her power to win at +least a look from the girl, but all her attempts were repelled and she +was treated with an overbearance that cut her to the quick. At last +she could stand it no longer. She left her work and went upstairs "to +have it out with Nan" and be done with it. +</P> + +<P> +She knocked repeatedly at her bedroom door, but the girl obstinately +refused to utter the word of admittance. Delia was not to be daunted, +however, by this, and at last, turning the knob, she walked boldly in +and confronted Nan squarely. +</P> + +<P> +"See here, Nan," she began without waiting, "I want to know what's the +matter with you that you treat me so? Me that has waited on you hand +and foot and tended you night and day since you was a little baby?" +</P> + +<P> +The girl did not deign to raise her eyes from her book—or else they +were so rapidly filling with tears that she did not dare to do so. +</P> + +<P> +Delia gulped. "Can't you answer a civil question?" she faltered, +trying to be firm and failing utterly. +</P> + +<P> +Nan cast her book to the floor and sprang up to face the woman with +blazing cheeks and eyes that flashed angry fire. +</P> + +<P> +"You'd better ask me what's the matter, Delia Connor!" she burst out in +a trembling voice. "As if you didn't know! Do you s'pose I'll bear +everything? It's bad enough—your being such an awful turn-coat! You +went over to her side the first thing, and every time she bosses me you +just stand there and let her do it and never say a word. You let her +order me about like everything and never stand up for me a bit. Her—a +perfect stranger! Somebody you never saw in all your life before! But +that isn't the worst of it! Do you s'pose I'm going to stand your +coming to my door and listening at the key-hole when I was rehearsing +and then going and telling on me—telling her all I was going to do to +her, I'd like to know? You just wanted to get on the right side of +her, and it was the meanest thing I ever heard of in all my life. You +came and peeked at me when I was rehearsing and then went and told her, +and I s'pose you both laughed and had a fine time over it. You thought +you were very smart, didn't you? But you got there too soon, Delia +Connor, for I had made up my mind I wouldn't do it, so there! But now +you've both been so mean, I don't care who knows what I was going to +do. I hope you told her that I don't want her here. I hope you told +her every bit of that thing I learned by heart on purpose to recite to +her. I hope you repeated every word of it. It's true and I hope she +knows it. I hope—" +</P> + +<P> +"For the land's sake, Nan, do be still," broke out Delia at last after +a dozen futile attempts to stem the tide of the girl's anger. "I +didn't listen nor peek nor anything, and you scream so loud she'll hear +every word you say. You—now be quiet and let me speak—you walked in +your sleep last night. You went into her room and said off a whole lot +of balderdash to her—enough to set her against you for the rest of her +life—if she ever finds out you really meant it." +</P> + +<P> +Nan gave Delia an imploring, frightened look. +</P> + +<P> +"Delia," she gasped, breathlessly, "do you—do you think she heard?" +</P> + +<P> +Delia shook her head. +</P> + +<P> +"Couldn't say for the life of me," she replied. "Her door may have +been open when I came up; I didn't notice." +</P> + +<P> +Nan looked the picture of dismay. "Wait a minute!—I'll go see!" she +whispered earnestly, and tip-toed noiselessly into the hall. A second +later she returned, radiant with reassurance. +</P> + +<P> +"Her door is tight shut, and she's making so much noise inside her room +she couldn't possibly have heard. Sounds as if she was dragging trunks +around or something." +</P> + +<P> +"Perhaps she's packing to go 'way," suggested Delia, with a grain of +malice. +</P> + +<P> +Nan fairly jumped with—well, if it wasn't joy it was something equally +as moving in its way. "Oh, no, no!" she cried, in a sudden fever of +excitement. "I don't want her to leave—like that. Just think how +awful it would be to have her leave—like that! Can't you go to her +and say I'm—you're good friends with her. Delia, won't you please go +and tell her I didn't really mean to say off that speech at her. I +learned it before she came, and I meant to recite it, but when I found +that she was different—so little and kind of—different, I thought it +would be mean to do it, and I gave it up. Do go and tell her, Delia, +please, and oh, won't you hurry?" +</P> + +<P> +"Now see here, Nan," interposed the woman. "Our best plan is to wait +and see what she is going to do. If she hasn't heard, it's all right, +and telling her would only put the fat in the fire. On the other hand, +if she has heard and is packing up to go 'way, why, it wouldn't do much +good, I'm afraid, to try to stop her. With all being such a lady and +so gentle in her ways, she's got a mind of her own—I can see that—and +you won't be like to get her to change it. But she'll tell you +good-bye before she leaves, she's too much of a lady not to, no matter +how she feels, and then you can say your say, and I promise you +faithful I'll back you up." +</P> + +<P> +Nan saw the wisdom of Delia's counsel, and tried to content herself to +wait. But the suspense of every minute was awful, and she felt herself +growing frenzied under the strain. After a time the commotion in the +next room ceased, and all was quiet as the grave. "She's getting on +her hat now," gasped Nan. "She'll go away and think I'm a heathen and +all sorts of horrid things. And she hasn't got any friends or folks of +her own, and no house to go to but this. And I s'pose she's awfully +poor, because she wouldn't be a governess if she wasn't, and oh, dear! +I don't want to have any one be a beggar, and turned out of the only +roof they've got over their heads on my account. That's what makes me +feel so bad, Delia. That's the only thing. If she will go on her own +account I'll—I'll be glad, but—oh, she mustn't go this way!" +</P> + +<P> +Delia turned away her face to hide a smile. +</P> + +<P> +"There's nothing to do but wait," she insisted. "If I go in there and +tell her, and she hasn't heard, why it would only give you away; don't +you see?" +</P> + +<P> +Nan let herself down in her rocking-chair with a dismal drop. "O +dear!" she cried, "I never saw anything like it! The way things go +wrong in this house! It's just perfectly horrid! I wish I was with my +father, I do so! I guess it's nicer in India than it is here, anyway; +and I'm sick and tired of living cooped up in this old stuffy place. +So there!" +</P> + +<P> +Delia dusted some imaginary dust off the table with the corner of her +apron, and went down stairs to finish up her work. +</P> + +<P> +In the street below the huckster was yelling "Chestnuts! Fresh-roasted +chestnuts!" The little charcoal oven in his push-cart sent out a +shrill, continuous whistle, and Nan had an impulse to throw something +at him. What business had he to come here and make such a racket that +she couldn't hear what was going on in the next room. He passed slowly +down the street, his call and the whistle of his oven growing fainter +and fainter, and finally fading quite away as he disappeared in the +distance. Nan pricked up her ears. Surely the sounds she heard were +those of moving feet in the next room. Back and forth they went, now +nearer, that was to the closet, now further away again, that must be to +the bureau. What could the governess be doing? The lid of her trunk +was dropped, and Nan could distinctly hear the click of the catches as +they fell in place. There was no further doubt about it! Miss Blake +was going. A moment later, and before Nan could collect her wits, the +door of the next room was briskly opened and closed, and the governess, +hatted and cloaked, sped quickly from the house. +</P> + +<P> +Nan flew to the balusters with a hasty cry upon her lips, but was just +in time to see the door swing heavily to; and that was all. She flung +herself down stairs two steps at a time. +</P> + +<P> +"There now, Delia Connor," she cried, bursting into the kitchen with +such vehemence that the very tins rattled on their shelves. "There, +now! What did I tell you? She's gone—Miss Blake's gone. Trunks +packed—! Everything's packed! She'll send men to get them. She's +gone clean off. I told you what it would be, and you wouldn't go and +speak to her. And now my father will be disgraced, and Mr. Turner will +blame me, and—it's all your fault, and I'll tell my father; so there!" +</P> + +<P> +Delia's face paled suddenly. She set her lips together tight. +</P> + +<P> +"It's well you have some one to lay the blame on, child!" she said +shortly, and went upstairs without another word. Nan did not care to +follow her into the governess' room, but stood outside and waited to +hear her verdict when she should have examined the premises. +</P> + +<P> +"Well?" asked the girl, eagerly, as soon as she came out. +</P> + +<P> +"Her trunk's shut and locked, that's certain!" +</P> + +<P> +"Then she's gone for good!" +</P> + +<P> +"She's gone. There ain't a doubt about that!" +</P> + +<P> +"You said she would surely say good-bye, Delia Connor, you know you +did. You said no matter how she felt, she was such a lady she'd be +certain to say good-bye!" +</P> + +<P> +"Well, and I really thought so. I believe now she'd have said +good-bye, if—" +</P> + +<P> +"If I hadn't been such a—brat? Say it right out, Delia! You mean it +and you might as well say what you think," broke in the girl bitterly. +</P> + +<P> +Delia turned on her heel and stalked grimly down stairs. A second +later she heard a rush of flying feet behind her, and the next moment +two arms were locked about her neck. +</P> + +<P> +"Poor old Delia," cried Nan, in one of her sudden bursts of remorse. +"I'm the horridest girl that ever lived! I know it as well as you do, +and if you weren't the patientest thing in the world you wouldn't stand +it for a minute. But don't you go away from me too, Delia! Please +don't! Honest Injun, I'll try to behave! Cross my heart I will. And +I tell you this much, I feel just awfully about Miss Blake. I +shouldn't wonder a bit but it would snow tonight, and she hasn't a +place to go and no money, and—O dear! I feel like a person that ought +to be in jail!" +</P> + +<P> +Delia extricated herself gently from the clinging arms. "What makes +you think Miss Blake's as poverty-stricken as that?" she asked. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, I don't know," responded the girl. "But I just feel she is. And +she is so little too. She looked so glad to get into this house that I +guess she never had much of a place to stay before." +</P> + +<P> +"She don't dress like a person that's next-door to a beggar," mused +Delia. +</P> + +<P> +"No, she doesn't. She has really pretty things, hasn't she? But I +guess they're made over and cast-off, or something. Maybe the lady she +lived with last gave them to her?" speculated Nan. +</P> + +<P> +"Maybe she did," said Delia. +</P> + +<P> +The two made their way slowly down to the kitchen. It was beginning to +grow dark and the dinner must be prepared. +</P> + +<P> +"I never in all my life saw such little hands and feet," the girl +pursued. "And she's dreadfully particular about them. There's never a +speck on her fingers that she doesn't run right up and scrub them, and +she wears the cunningest slippers I ever saw." +</P> + +<P> +"I guess she comes of nice folks," said Delia, as she began to peel the +potatoes. +</P> + +<P> +"Wonder why she doesn't stay with them then?" put in Nan. +</P> + +<P> +"Perhaps they're dead." +</P> + +<P> +Nan pondered. Her own motherless life had given her a very tender +sympathy for those whose "folks" were dead. For the first time she +felt sorry for Miss Blake. She was uneasy and distressed. It made her +shift about uncomfortably in her chair. +</P> + +<P> +"Goodness me!" she ejaculated impatiently at last, and then one of her +wild impulses took possession of her and she ran frantically up into +her own room and flung on her coat and hat. +</P> + +<P> +"The whole thing's as plain as preaching. Why didn't I think of it +before?" she said to herself, with a shake of impatience. "Mr. Turner +told Miss Blake if she was worried or anything to go to him. She +hasn't any money, and she's left here, so of course that's where she +is. I'll go and bring her back." +</P> + +<P> +The front door opened and shut with a bang, and Nan was out in the +street alone. As she scudded down the pavement the electric lights +suddenly gleamed out pale and vivid from their lofty globes, and sent +wavering shadows flashing across her path. +</P> + +<P> +"It's pretty late and it'll be dark as a pocket in a little while," +thought she; but that did not detain her, and she raced on, putting +block after block between her and home in her ardor to make reparation +and to lighten her heart of its weight of compunction. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap07"></A> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER VII +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +OPEN CONFESSION +</H3> + +<P> +Nan knew the way to Mr. Turner's house perfectly, though she had not +been able to give Mrs. Newton the street and number. She was observing +and clear-headed, and could have been trusted to find her way about the +entire city alone, but her father had often cautioned Delia and the +girl herself against putting her power to the test, and so it happened +that until now she had never been any considerable distance away from +home after twilight without a companion. The way was perfectly +familiar to her—but it had never seemed so interminably long. She +could have taken a car, but in her haste to get off she had forgotten +her pocketbook. She saw the "trolleys" fly past her in quick +succession, and it seemed to her they whizzed jeeringly at her as they +sped. She was by nature so fearless that even if the street had not +been thronged she would not have been afraid. As it was she was only +alarmed lest she would get to Mr. Turner's and find Miss Blake gone. +</P> + +<P> +She hurried on breathlessly, fairly skipping with impatience and +wondering what explanation she could give the lawyer in case the +governess had not told him the real reason of her departure. Somehow +it flashed into Nan's mind that Miss Blake would not expose her. She +was busied with this reflection as she turned off the broad, +well-lighted thoroughfare into the dimmer side-street upon which Mr. +Turner lived, and she ran up the steps of his house with the question +still unsettled. It was not a moment before the door was opened to her +and she was admitted to the warm, luxuriously furnished drawing-room. +It was Nan's ideal of a house: "all full of curtains and soft carpets +and beautiful things." She seated herself before the burning log-fire +with a sensation of deep well-being—only it was a little over-shadowed +by her worry about the governess. +</P> + +<P> +"Well, my little lady, and what brings you here at this time of day?" +was Mr. Turner's greeting, as he strode across the room to meet her. +</P> + +<P> +"O Mr. Turner!" began Nan, bluntly, "I came to see you about Miss +Blake. I want to know—I wonder if you—" +</P> + +<P> +"Indeed! And how is that charming lady? You must tell her I had hoped +to see her before this, but I have been unusually busy, and every +moment has been taken up. Now tell me, isn't it as I said? Hasn't she +completely won your heart? Aha! I see she has! I see she has!" +</P> + +<P> +Nan flushed and stammered, and did not reply. Inwardly, she was in a +turmoil. Either Miss Blake had not come here at all or the lawyer was +trying to baffle her. And if Miss Blake had not come here, then where +was she? A sort of dumb terror took hold of the girl and shook her +from head to foot. +</P> + +<P> +"You see I was right," pursued the lawyer, cheerfully. "I knew you +would surrender to her the first thing. Every one does. I think I +never knew any one who was more universally loved. Now, how can I help +you, my dear? Give you some extra pin-money to buy Miss Blake a +Christmas present, eh? Is that it?" +</P> + +<P> +Nan caught at the suggestion eagerly as being a way out of her +difficulty, and nodded a gulping assent. +</P> + +<P> +"Well, you needn't have traveled all this distance for such a simple +matter, my dear," he assured her genially. "And after dark, too! A +note would have served, you know; a note would have served. But I'm +glad you like her so well, and you shall have the money at once. Your +father would be delighted I am sure." +</P> + +<P> +It was only after Nan had been gone some time that Mr. Turner +remembered with a start that she was alone and that it was night. It +was too late then to overtake her, so he had to resign himself with the +thought that the girl was admirably self-reliant, and that her way lay +almost entirely along well-lit and busy avenues. +</P> + +<P> +The thought of danger did not occupy Nan for a moment. Her only fear +now was for the governess. If she wasn't at Mr. Turner's, then where +was she? She asked herself this question over and over again. The +girl blushed as she thought of the untruth she had been guilty of in +implying that the lawyer's suggestion had been her motive in coming to +him. She sharpened her pace, as if to outstrip the memory of her +misdeed, but it, with her other worry, seemed to pursue her, and +presently her imagination so quickened at the thought that she actually +fancied she heard some one behind keeping step with her. She broke +into a brisk run. Clap! clap! came the sound of hastening feet behind +her. With a sort of tortured courage she slackened her pace. Whatever +was following her also took a slower gait. She cast a furtive look +over her shoulder and gave a horrified gasp as her eyes squarely +encountered two other eyes, which were fixed upon her own in an +insulting leer from beneath the rim of a rakish felt hat which was worn +tilted on the side of a very unprepossessing head. The eyes, bad as +they were, proved the best feature in a thoroughly vicious face, and +for the first time in her life Nan felt frightened—chokingly +frightened. She would have rushed on, but a stealthy hand held her +back. +</P> + +<P> +"Don't try to run away from me, little lady!" said an unsteady voice in +her ear in a tone that was intended to seem engaging. "Don't try to +run away from me, if you please. I wouldn't hurt you for the world, +no, indeed." +</P> + +<P> +Nan shook herself free from the disgusting touch and hurried on without +a word. Her hateful shadow kept abreast with her. +</P> + +<P> +"You ain't afraid of me, are you?" he asked reproachfully. +</P> + +<P> +Nan made no response. Her feet seemed to cling to the pavement. Every +time she lifted one it was with an effort. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, come now," whined the voice in her ear, "don't go on like this. I +ain't going to hurt you. I'm only a poor man who would be grateful for +a penny or two. By the way, where's your pocket-book?" +</P> + +<P> +Nan leaped suddenly aside, and as she did so she missed her footing, +and a cry of pain burst from her lips. A sharp pang shot from her +ankle to her knee, and when she tried to take another step she found +the darting agony returned. But stop she could not. Her face grew +gray and lined with misery as she dragged forward, saving her injured +ankle as much as she could, but always having to torture it intolerably +with every onward limp. Her persecutor caught up with her promptly, +and she cast beseeching looks for deliverance on every side, which the +hurrying, preoccupied crowd was too intent on its own affairs to see. +If only she could see a policeman! She knew what she would do. She +would make believe she was going past him and then suddenly veer about +and say, "Officer, this man is annoying me!" and before he had time to +realize what she had done the rowdy would be arrested. But no +policeman was in sight, and her fine scheme could not be carried out. +Suddenly in the midst of her agony of mind and body her heart gave a +wild bound of unspeakable relief. +</P> + +<P> +"Miss Blake! Miss Blake!" she almost shrieked. +</P> + +<P> +"Nan!" +</P> + +<P> +The little governess was beside her in a flash, her own face almost as +white and seamed as the girl's. +</P> + +<A NAME="img-119"></A> +<CENTER> +<IMG CLASS="imgcenter" SRC="images/img-119.jpg" ALT="The little governess was beside her." BORDER="2" WIDTH="385" HEIGHT="581"> +<H3 CLASS="h3center" STYLE="width: 385px"> +The little governess was beside her. +</H3> +</CENTER> + +<P> +"O Miss Blake! this man—make him go away; make some one send him away. +He's annoying me—and my foot!" +</P> + +<P> +The governess grew if possible a shade paler. "What man?" she demanded +sharply, "Where?" +</P> + +<P> +Nan could not speak. She indicated with a mute gesture. Miss Blake +looked behind her, but if there had actually been such a man as the +girl described he must certainly have taken to his heels. They were +standing alone in the midst of the hurrying crowd. +</P> + +<P> +"O Nan!" cried the governess, not stopping to argue the question, +"where have you been? Delia and I have been frantic with worry. She +is out now hunting for you. She went one way and I another." +</P> + +<P> +Nan could not reply. The torture in her ankle grew fiercer with every +movement. She shook her head silently and limped on. +</P> + +<P> +"You are hurt! You are in pain!" cried Miss Blake, now for the first +time really realizing her condition. +</P> + +<P> +Nan nodded dumbly. +</P> + +<P> +"Take my arm; no, lean on my shoulder! There, that's better! Bear +down as hard as you can and use me as your crutch! I'm strong. I +won't give out." +</P> + +<P> +And a right good support she proved. Happily they were but a stone's +throw from home, and it was not long before Nan was comfortably settled +on the library lounge, luxuriously surrounded by all sorts of downy +cushions and having her injured ankle bound in soothing cloths by the +tenderest of hands. Delia, full of sympathy and the desire to help, +was bustling about nervously, tripping over bandages and upsetting +bottles of liniment, but meaning so well all the while that one could +not discourage her. +</P> + +<P> +"It is only a strain. You have turned your ankle badly and the muscles +have been wrenched, but I don't think it is an actual sprain," said +Miss Blake, consolingly. "However, if the pain is still bad to-morrow, +we'll have a doctor in to look at it. Do you still have Dr. Milbank, +Delia?" +</P> + +<P> +Nan sat bolt upright with surprise. +</P> + +<P> +"How funny!" she cried. "However in the world did you know Dr. Milbank +was our doctor? Why, we've had him for years and years. Ever since I +was born and before, too. But how could you know?" +</P> + +<P> +Delia hurried out of the room muttering something about the dinner, and +Miss Blake bent her head over the bandage she was rolling. +</P> + +<P> +"He lives so near," she replied haltingly. +</P> + +<P> +"I've seen his sign often as I passed and—and—perhaps that is why I +thought he might be your physician. He's so convenient—within call. +It is hard to tell what makes one jump at conclusions sometimes." +</P> + +<P> +Nan sank back among her cushions not half satisfied. "Dr. Pardee lives +near, too. Just as near as Dr. Milbank does," she persisted. +</P> + +<P> +The governess made no response, and just then Delia came staggering in +under the weight of a huge brass tray which she bore in her arms. +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake jumped to her feet. "We're going to have a dinner-party up +here to-night, Nan," she said. "Won't it be fun?" and she set to work +unfolding a strange foreign-looking stand that Nan had never seen +before and upon which Delia carefully placed the tray. +</P> + +<P> +"Why, what a dandy little table it makes!" exclaimed Nan, admiringly. +"Where did it come from?" +</P> + +<P> +"I brought it from London, but it was made in India," explained Miss +Blake. +</P> + +<P> +Nan's eyes softened. "Where papa is!" she murmured softly to herself. +"You have lots of nice things," she added, after a moment. "These +pillows are downright daisies. I s'pose they belong to you." +</P> + +<P> +The governess served her with soup. "They are yours whenever you care +to use them," she returned in her quiet way. +</P> + +<P> +"It's jolly having dinner up here," said Nan, not quite knowing how to +respond to such a generous offer. +</P> + +<P> +"Yes, isn't it?" assented the governess. +</P> + +<P> +"Mrs. Newton don't use her basement for a dining-room, and neither does +Mr. Turner. I wish we didn't. I think it would be perfectly fine if +we could have ours up here, too." +</P> + +<P> +"Why couldn't you?" +</P> + +<P> +The girl leaned forward with a look of real interest in her face. +</P> + +<P> +"Do you think we might?" she asked eagerly. +</P> + +<P> +"I don't see why not. The books might be shifted to the other room. +This might be re—well, re-arranged, and I'm sure it would make a +charming dining-room." +</P> + +<P> +"But that ugly old glass extension back there!" protested Nan in +disgust. "Who wants to look at a lot of old trunks and broken-up +things when one is eating? If we could only pull it down." +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake considered a moment. +</P> + +<P> +"Why not take all the old trunks and broken-up things out entirely and +make a conservatory of it. It faces the south. Plants would grow +beautifully there." +</P> + +<P> +Nan clapped her hands. "Why, that's perfectly splendiferous," she +cried. "I never should have thought of it. I say, Miss Blake, let's +do it right away, will you? I love flowers." +</P> + +<P> +"Would you take care of them?" demanded the governess with a thoughtful +look. +</P> + +<P> +"Uh-huh!" nodded Nan, heartily. "I guess I would!" +</P> + +<P> +"Very well, then," returned Miss Blake encouragingly, "I'll think about +it. Perhaps Delia wouldn't consent. You know there is no dumb-waiter +in the house, and if she had to carry up all the dishes at every meal, +it would more than double her work." +</P> + +<P> +Nan's face fell. "O dear!" she complained. "What a horrid old house! +Can't do a single thing with it! It would have been such fun to change +everything about!" +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake laughed. "Oh, if that was all your reason for wanting the +improvements," she retorted. "I thought you wanted to gratify your +sense of the beautiful." +</P> + +<P> +"Well, I do," declared Nan. +</P> + +<P> +"Then we'll see what can be done," and the governess set down her glass +of water with a very knowing smile. +</P> + +<P> +After dinner was eaten and Delia had carried away the tray and Miss +Blake removed the wonderful folding stand, the governess looked up +suddenly and said with unusual gravity: +</P> + +<P> +"Nan, while I am here I hope you will never run out after dark alone +again. It is dangerous. Do you understand me, my dear?" +</P> + +<P> +The girl's eyes dropped. Yes, she understood perfectly. When the +governess spoke in that low, decided voice it would have been hard to +mistake her meaning. +</P> + +<P> +"I had to go to-night," Nan answered, in a suddenly sullen voice. +</P> + +<P> +"If you had waited a few moments I could have, and most willingly would +have, gone with you. Never hesitate to ask me. I am always at your +service. That is what I am here for." +</P> + +<P> +Nan hesitated. "I—I thought you had gone away—for good," she +stammered, lamely. +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake flushed. "What made you think I had gone away for good?" +she asked, slowly repeating the girl's words. +</P> + +<P> +Nan shook her head and gulped. +</P> + +<P> +"I was in my room," continued the governess, after a pause, "and I +heard—" +</P> + +<P> +Nan put out both hands. "I know it! I know it!" she gasped. "But I +didn't mean what I said—I didn't, honestly and truly. Before you came +I learned it off, and I meant to say it, but that was before I saw you. +I feel different now, and I hope—I hope—" +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake's hand was laid quietly on hers. "Wait a moment, Nan. +Don't go on till you know what I was going to say. You seem to be +trying to explain something that perhaps you might regret later. You +think I overheard something you would rather I did not know? What I +was going to say is this: I was in my room this afternoon and I heard a +man crying 'Chestnuts!' It carried me back to the time when I was a +little girl and used to roast them in this very—" she hesitated, then +added slowly, "town. So I went out to buy some, that we might have a +little jollification together with nuts and apples and perhaps a cookie +or two, if Delia would give them to us. That is why I went out." +</P> + +<P> +Nan twisted her fingers and looked down. "And I went out because you +did," she faltered. "I thought you had gone away, and I went to Mr. +Turner's to bring you back—if you would come. Say, now, didn't you +hear what I said to Delia? I was awfully mad, and I guess I spoke out +loud enough so folks on the next block could have heard. Honest now, +didn't you?" +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake did not answer at once, and Nan could see that a struggle of +some sort was going on in her mind. When she raised her face her eyes +were very grave. +</P> + +<P> +"Yes, Nan, I did hear!" she confessed, honestly. +</P> + +<P> +The girl's cheeks blazed with sudden shame. +</P> + +<P> +"And yet you weren't going to leave?" she said. "You were only going +to do a kindness to me?" +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake shook her head. +</P> + +<P> +"Dear Nan," she answered, smiling wistfully, "a good soldier never runs +away for a mere wound. He stays on the field until he has won his +battle or—until—he is mortally hurt. I do not think you will ever +wish to cut me as deeply as that, and so—and so—I will stay +until—the general orders me off the field. The day I hear that your +father is to come back, that day I will resign my position in this +house. Until then, however, you must reconcile yourself to my presence +here, and I think we should both be much happier if you would try to do +so at once, my dear." +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap08"></A> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER VIII +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +NAN'S HEROINE +</H3> + +<P> +The strain Nan had given her ankle proved more serious than either she +or Miss Blake had expected. It threatened to keep her chained to the +sofa for days to come, and the girl's only comfort lay in the thought +that now, of course, the governess would not force the question of +study, and after she was up and about again she might be able to +dispose of it altogether, and save herself any more worry on that score. +</P> + +<P> +But Monday came, and, true to her word, Miss Blake appeared in the +library after breakfast with an armful of school-books, to which she +kept Nan fastened until luncheon time. It was perfectly clear that +there was no escape. Miss Blake was armed with authority, and the girl +knew herself to be under control. She fretted against it so +persistently that if the governess had not had an enduring patience she +must have despaired over and over again under the strain of Nan's +sullen tempers, fierce outbreaks, and lazy moods. There were moments +when the girl seemed to be fairly tractable, but there was no knowing +when the whim would seize her to fall back into her old ways, so that, +at the best of times, Miss Blake did not dare relax her control. Then +Nan would kick her heels sulkily, and comfort herself with the thought +that when her father came home all this would be put an end to. Miss +Blake would go. Hadn't she said so herself? And that would finish up +this studying business quick enough. She could cajole her father +easily into letting her stay away from school, and then—here she would +be, as happy as you please, with only those two, Delia and her dear +daddy, to look after her, and no one at all would say no to anything +she might choose to do. It was a blissful prospect. In the meantime +there were lessons, and—Miss Blake. +</P> + +<P> +But after a few days Nan found that, somehow, the lessons were not so +hard after all, and she never would have believed that they could be so +interesting. While as for Miss Blake—Well, a woman who sits reading +"Treasure Island" and such books to one for hours together can't be +regarded entirely in the light of a nuisance. +</P> + +<P> +"I never knew geography was so nice before," Nan admitted one day after +lessons were over. "I used to hate it, but now, why it's downright +jolly! I never saw such beautiful pictures! Where in the world did +you ever get so many?" +</P> + +<P> +"I took them myself!" +</P> + +<P> +Nan's eyes widened. "Why, have you been to all these places?" she +asked, not a little awe-struck. +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake confessed she had. +</P> + +<P> +"And you took all these photographs your own self?" persisted the girl. +</P> + +<P> +The governess laughed. "I'm like George Washington, Nan," she said. +"I cannot tell a lie! I did them with my little—Kodak!" +</P> + +<P> +Nan fairly gulped. She would have said "Jiminy!" but she knew Miss +Blake disapproved of "Jiminy!" and somehow, she was willing to humor +her just now. +</P> + +<P> +"Only," went on the governess, "it isn't a little Kodak at all. It is +a very fine camera indeed. Some day, if you like, I will show it to +you, and then, perhaps you will be interested enough to care to learn +how to take some photographs yourself." +</P> + +<P> +Nan bounced up and down on the sofa with delight. "Oh, won't I, +though!" she exclaimed feverishly. "Just won't I!" +</P> + +<P> +"But mind you, my dear," warned Miss Blake. "If you once undertake it, +I want you to persist. It is not to be any +'You-press-the-button-and-we-do-the-rest' affair. I want you to learn +to finish up your work yourself. Do you think you will care to take so +much trouble?" +</P> + +<P> +Nan nodded energetically. +</P> + +<P> +"Very well, then. So it stands. If you are willing to learn I'll +gladly teach." +</P> + +<P> +"Who taught you?" asked the girl curiously. +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake shook her head. "Just a man whom I paid for his trouble," +she returned simply. "I wanted to learn, and so I went into a gallery +and got some experience, and then came away and experimented on my own +account. It has taken me years, and I am still working hard at it, for +I believe in never being satisfied with anything less than the best one +can do." +</P> + +<P> +Nan blinked. She herself believed in being satisfied with whatever +came easiest, unless it was in the way of some sport, where she liked +to excel. +</P> + +<P> +"How jolly it must be to travel about—all over the world," said she, +musingly. "When I'm grown up I guess I'll be a governess, or a +companion, or something, just as you are, and get a place with some +awfully nice people who will take me everywhere. Was it nice where you +were before you came here? Were there any girls? Why did you leave?" +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake looked troubled, but Nan was not used to noticing other +people's moods, and did not even stop to hear the replies to her own +questions. "If you've been all over the world, you'll know where my +father is, and can tell me about it. Oh, do, do! Show me some +pictures of India, won't you please? Just think, I haven't seen my +father for two years, and he won't be home until next autumn—almost a +year from now. You ought to see him! He is the best man in the +world—only I guess he is lonely, because my mother died when I was a +baby, and he hasn't any one to keep house for him but Delia and me. +Mr. Turner says he has lost a lot of money lately, too. I guess that's +why he went to India. If I had been older he would have taken me. But +he had to leave me here with Delia. Delia has been in our family, for, +oh, ever so many years. She first came to live here when my mother was +a young girl. She says it was the jolliest house you ever saw. My +grandfather and grandmother were alive then, and mamma had a young +friend, who was an orphan, who lived with them. They loved her just as +if she had been their own child, and she and my mother were so fond of +each other that—well, Delia says it was beautiful to see them +together. And such times! There were parties and all sorts of things +all the time till, Delia says, it was a caution. My grandfather wasn't +very well off, and lots and lots of times my mother wouldn't have been +able to go to the parties she was invited to, if it hadn't been for +that friend of hers, who used to give her the most beautiful +things—dresses, and gloves, and all she needed. She had loads of +money, and every time she got anything for herself she got its mate for +my mother. Don't you think that was pretty generous?" +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake bit her lip. "One can't judge, Nan," she said. "If your +mother shared her home with this girl and she had money and your mother +had not, I think it was only right that they should share the money +too. No, I do not think it was generous." +</P> + +<P> +Nan tossed her head. "Well, I think it was and so does Delia," she +retorted hotly. +</P> + +<P> +"It is easy enough to give when one has plenty," pursued the governess, +almost sternly. "But when one has little and one gives that—well, +then it is hard and then perhaps one may be what the world calls +generous, though I should call it merely grateful." +</P> + +<P> +Nan did not understand very clearly. She thought Miss Blake meant to +disparage her mother's friend, the woman she had been brought up to +think was one of the noblest beings on earth. She felt angry and hurt +and almost regretted that she had confided the story to her since she +made so little of her heroine's conduct. +</P> + +<P> +"I don't care; I think she was perfectly fine and so does Delia. My +mother just loved her and I guess she knew whether she was generous or +not. When she went away my mother was wild. She cried her eyes out. +But she married my father soon after that, and then—well, my +grandmother died and then my grandfather, and I was born and my mother +died and—O dear me! it was dreadful. Delia says many and many a time +she has gone down on her knees and just prayed that that girl would +come back, but she has never come and she won't now, because it is +years and years ago and maybe she's dead herself by this time. Do you +think Delia would have prayed for Miss Severance to come back if she +hadn't been the best and most generous girl in the world?" +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake smiled faintly. "That settles it, Nan!" she declared. "If +Delia wanted her back she must at least have tried to be good. And +even trying is something, isn't it? And now, how do you think luncheon +would taste?" +</P> + +<P> +Nan was more than ever inclined to be sulky. Her loyalty was touched. +Not alone did Miss Blake fail to appreciate her heroine, but she showed +quite plainly that she did not want to hear about her. "All the time I +was talking she fidgeted around and looked too unhappy for anything. I +guess she needn't think she's the only one in the world that can make +people love her. I don't think it's very nice to be jealous of a +person you never saw. Pooh! I like what she said about trying to be +good. I guess Delia knows," said Nan. +</P> + +<P> +They ate their luncheon together in the library, and after they had +finished Miss Blake excused herself and went upstairs to prepare to go +out. +</P> + +<P> +"After being in the house all the morning one needs a change," she +said, "and it would be a sin to spend all of this glorious day indoors." +</P> + +<P> +Nan sighed. How she longed to get away herself. But of course that +was impossible, with this old troublesome ankle bothering her. If she +could not step across the room, how could she hope to get into the +street? O dear! When would it be well? +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake was tripping about upstairs and Nan could hear her singing +as she went. Delia was up there, too. When Delia walked the +chandelier shook. +</P> + +<P> +"She follows Miss Blake about so, it's perfectly disgusting," thought +the girl resentfully. "Now, I wonder what she wants in my room. I +don't thank either of them for going poking about my things when I'm +not there, so now! Well, I'm glad she's coming down, at any rate." +</P> + +<P> +The governess appeared in the library a moment later, but Nan could +scarcely see her face, she was so overladen with wraps and rugs. She +turned the whole assortment into a chair, and before the girl could ask +a question, she found herself being bundled up and made ready for the +street. +</P> + +<P> +"What are you doing?" she gasped out at length. "You know I can't +walk." +</P> + +<P> +"Nobody asked you, sir!" quoted the governess, gayly. +</P> + +<P> +"Then what are you putting on my things for?" +</P> + +<P> +"Ready, Delia?" sang out Miss Blake, cheerfully. +</P> + +<P> +Nan heard the front door open. Then heavy steps came clumping along +the hall, and in another moment she was being borne down the outer +steps and set comfortably in a carriage by the good old Irish coachman, +Mike, from the livery stable round the corner. +</P> + +<P> +"Are you comfortable?" asked Miss Blake, with her foot on the step. +"Have you everything you need?" +</P> + +<P> +Nan nodded, and the governess, taking her place beside her, motioned to +Michael, who climbed to his seat on the box, and off they drove. +</P> + +<P> +"There is Delia at the window! Let's wave to her!" cried Miss Blake, +with one of her happy girl-hearted laughs. +</P> + +<P> +It seemed to Nan that she had never seen the Park look as beautiful as +it did to-day. To be sure, most of the trees were bare, but the naked +branches stood out delicate and clear against the blue of the +violet-clouded sky and by the lake-shore the pollard willows were gray +and misty, and a few russet maple trees still held their leaves against +the sweeping wind. They saw numberless wheels spinning along the +smooth paths, and though the governess said nothing, Nan knew she had +given up this chance of a ride for her sake. +</P> + +<P> +Impulsively she put out her hand and laid it on Miss Blake's. +</P> + +<P> +"If it weren't for me you'd be on your wheel now, wouldn't you?" she +asked. +</P> + +<P> +"Yes," came the answer, prompt as an echo. "But as it is I'm not on my +wheel, and it so happens that I'm doing something that gives me much +more pleasure." +</P> + +<P> +"If I had a bike it would make me simply furious to have to give up a +ride such a day as this," said Nan. +</P> + +<P> +"Then isn't it rather fortunate you haven't one?" asked Miss Blake, +saucily. "But seriously, Nan, why haven't you one?" +</P> + +<P> +Nan set her jaw. "My father can't afford it," she said proudly. +</P> + +<P> +The governess turned her head to look at a faraway hill, and there was +an embarrassing little pause. When she faced about again Nan could see +that her chin was quivering, and in a spirit of tender thoughtfulness +quite new to her, she hastened to change the subject since Miss Blake +felt so badly about having asked the question. +</P> + +<P> +"This is the lake where we skate in winter," she said. "That is, most +of the girls come here. I go to the Steamer. I like it better." +</P> + +<P> +The governess looked at it and asked, absently, "Why?" +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, because its jollier there. Most of the girls I know—I don't +know—that is, they don't know me; they don't like me much, and I'd +rather not go where they are. John Gardiner and some other boys and I +go to the Steamer and have regular contests, and it's the best sport in +the world." +</P> + +<P> +But Miss Blake was not listening. She was thinking of other things, +and only came back to a sense of what was going on about her when Nan +gave a great sigh to indicate that she was tired of waiting to be +entertained. The governess roused herself with a smile and an apology +and began at once to chat briskly again. +</P> + +<P> +"Whenever you want Michael to turn you have only to say so," she said. +"What do you think of going down-town and buying some jelly or +something for little Ruth Newton. We could stop there on our way home, +and you could send it up with your love." +</P> + +<P> +Nan nodded heartily. It always pleased her to give. She enjoyed, too, +the thought of getting a glimpse of the shop-windows, which were +already beginning to take on a look of holiday gorgeousness. So +down-town they went, and Miss Blake not alone bought the jelly, but so +many other things as well, that presently Nan began to have a feeling +that for such a poor woman the governess was inclined to be extravagant. +</P> + +<P> +She told Delia so when they were alone together that evening, Miss +Blake having gone upstairs to write some letters. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, I guess you needn't worry," the woman said. +</P> + +<P> +"But you don't know how many things she bought," persisted Nan. "I'm +sure she can't afford it. Just think, a woman that works for her +living the way she has to! But do you know, Delia, I believe there's +something mysterious about her, anyway. She seems to see right into +your mind—what you're thinking about; and every once in a while she +lets out a hint that the next minute she looks as if she wished she +hadn't said. I've noticed it lots and lots of times, and I'm sure +she's trying to hide something. What do you s'pose it is? What fun it +would be if she were a princess in disguise." +</P> + +<P> +"Well, she ain't," Delia almost snapped. "She's just a good little +woman that's trying to do her duty as far as I can make out, and if she +spends money you must remember she has only herself to support." +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap09"></A> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER IX +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +HAVING HER OWN WAY +</H3> + +<P> +"I know just the kind I want, and I won't wear any other," said Nan, +irritably. +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake made no reply, and the girl sauntered off to another part of +the store, and pretended to be examining a case of trimmed bonnets, +which she could not see because her eyes were half-blind with +rebellious tears. What right had any one to tell her what sort of a +hat she ought to get! If her father was paying for it, she guessed it +was nobody else's business to say anything. +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake held in her hand a handsome, wide-brimmed felt hat, trimmed +simply with fine ribbon and a generous bunch of quills. +</P> + +<P> +"It's very girlish and suitable, ma'am!" the saleswoman said, as she +turned away to get another model. +</P> + +<P> +After a moment Nan came hurrying back to the governess' side. +</P> + +<P> +"Horrid old thing!" she said in a low voice, flinging her hand out with +a gesture of disgust toward the despised hat. "It's stiff as a poker. +Do you suppose I want to have just bunched-up bows with some spikes +stuck in the middle to trim my hat! And all one color, too! I guess +not!" +</P> + +<P> +The governess bit her lip. "Perhaps we may be able to find something +more to your fancy," she said. "But plumes are expensive and +perishable, and if you have too many colors your hat will look vulgar." +</P> + +<P> +"I hate this place anyhow," went on Nan, disdainfully. "Bigelow's! +Who ever thought of going to Bigelow's?" +</P> + +<P> +"Your mother did," said Miss Blake, quickly. "That is, Delia says she +did. And I myself know it to be one of the oldest and best firms in +the city. One can always be sure that one is getting good quality for +one's money here." +</P> + +<P> +"I never was in the place before," blurted out Nan, "and I despise +their hats—every one of them. If you won't let me go to Sternberg's, +where they have things I like, I won't get anything at all, so there!" +</P> + +<P> +She suddenly let her voice fall, for the sales-woman was back again +with a fresh assortment of shapes to select from. +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake placed the hat she held gently upon a table and began to +examine the others carefully, Nan standing by in sullen silence. +</P> + +<P> +"This is a pretty one—this with the tips, don't you think so?" the +governess asked, setting it on her hand and letting it revolve slowly +while she regarded it critically with her head on one side. +</P> + +<P> +Nan gave a grunt of dissatisfaction. What she wanted was a flaring, +turned-up brim, with a dash of red velvet underneath and a +bird-of-paradise on top, caught in a mesh of red and yellow ribbons. +She had seen something on this order in Sternberg's window, and it had +struck her fancy at once. +</P> + +<P> +The governess hesitated, and then put down the hat she held. +</P> + +<P> +"Very well. We will go to Sternberg's," she said, quietly, to Nan, in +an undertone which the saleswoman could not distinguish. The girl +started briskly for the door. Miss Blake remained behind a moment, and +then followed after. +</P> + +<P> +Now that she was to have her own way Nan was restored to good humor, +and kept up a stream of chatter until they reached Sternberg's. +</P> + +<P> +"There! Isn't that a beauty?" she demanded at last, indicating the hat +in the window. +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake, with difficulty, concealed a shudder. +</P> + +<P> +"It seems to me rather showy. But tastes differ, you know. I can't +say it suits me exactly. Still, if you are pleased—you are the one to +wear it, not I." +</P> + +<P> +The hat was bought and Nan was radiant. She insisted on donning it at +once, and Miss Blake tried not to let her discover how ashamed she was +to be seen in the street with such a monstrous piece of millinery. +Underneath her tower of gorgeousness Nan strutted like a turkey-cock. +</P> + +<P> +"I told Delia before we came away that we might not be home before +dusk, so suppose we take luncheon down-town, and then, if you like, we +will go to see Callmann. I haven't been to a sleight-of-hand +performance since I was a little girl, and I always had a liking for +that sort of thing." +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, do! Let's! Can we?" cried Nan, in a burst of grateful excitement. +</P> + +<P> +It was nippingly cold outside, and the warm restaurant proved a +delightful contrast. It was jolly to sit in the midst of all this +pleasant bustle and be served with delicate, unfamiliar dishes by +waiters who stood behind the chair and deferentially called one "Miss." +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake left Nan to order whatever she pleased, and they dawdled +over their meal luxuriously, the color in the girl's cheeks deepening +with the warmth and excitement until it almost matched the velvet in +her imposing hat. Every now and then she glanced furtively at her +reflection in the mirror, and the vision of that bird-of-paradise +hovering over those huge butterfly bows thrilled her with a great sense +of importance and self-satisfaction. More than once she saw that her +hat was being noticed and commented on by the other guests, and she +tried her best to seem not aware—to look modestly unconscious. But +Miss Blake, when she caught some eye fixed quizzically upon their +table, blushed to the roots of her hair, and felt as though it would be +impossible to bear the ordeal for a moment longer. Still, she did not +hurry Nan, and no one knew, the girl least of all, what agonies of +mortification she was enduring. +</P> + +<P> +A deep-toned clock struck one full peal. +</P> + +<P> +"That's half-past one," said Miss Blake, looking up and comparing her +watch. +</P> + +<P> +"When does the entertainment begin?" asked Nan. +</P> + +<P> +"At two, I think, or quarter after. If we ride up we have still a few +minutes to spare, but if we walk it would be wise to start at once." +</P> + +<P> +"O let's walk," begged Nan. "It's such fun; there's so much going on. +And now my foot is well, I just want to trot all the time." +</P> + +<P> +Though Miss Blake was a good walker and took a great deal of exercise, +she always preferred to ride when she was with Nan, for the girl forged +ahead at such a rate and darted in among the maze of trucks and cars +and carriages so recklessly that there was actual danger as well as +discomfort in trying to keep abreast with her. Still she made no +objection to "trotting," and they started off at a brisk pace. +</P> + +<P> +"Don't you just love to be in the stores around Christmas-time?" asked +Nan, watching the crowds press and surge about the doorways of some of +the most popular shops. "It's so exciting and the things seem so gay +and alluring." +</P> + +<P> +"Yes, it is very attractive—all the motion and color," replied Miss +Blake, "but I don't like crowds, and when I am hemmed in at a counter +and can't get away I feel stifled and smothered, and long to scream." +</P> + +<P> +"Why don't you scream then? I would!" exclaimed Nan, with a laugh. +"I'd shriek, 'Air! Air!' and then you'd see how quick the people would +let you out." +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake smiled with what Nan saw was amusement at some +just-remembered incident. +</P> + +<P> +"I was watching a huge celebration in London one spring," she said. +"It was in honor of some royal birthday or something, and the streets +were packed with people all eager to get a glimpse of the military +parade and the notabilities who were to take part in it. From the +window where I sat I could not see an inch of pavement, the crowd was +so dense. At last there was a sound of martial music and the First +Regiment appeared in full gala array. Oh, I assure you it was very +imposing and well worth taking some trouble to see. The crowds pushed +and jostled, and beyond the first line or two at the curb no one among +them could get more than an occasional glimpse of a stray cockade or a +floating banner. Still the people were massed solidly from the gutter +to the house-steps. We were wondering where the enjoyment in this came +in, and congratulating ourselves that we were not doomed to struggle +and fight for space in such a huddle, when suddenly we heard a shrill +scream. It was a woman's voice crying, 'Air! Air! Give me air!' In +another instant the crowd pushed back a step, and quite a +respectably-dressed young person staggered weakly through the line to +the curb, as if to get more breathing-space. Of course she could have +got this in a much easier way by going in the other direction, but you +see her plan was to get a better view of the procession, and she +thought that was a good method of accomplishing it. It seemed a clever +trick, and she was just settling herself to enjoy her improved +position, when quick as a flash an order was given: Two men unrolled +one of their army stretchers; the woman was whipped up and placed upon +it; the poles were seized and off they went, carrying that misguided +creature with them through all the gaping, jeering crowd. The last I +saw of her she was hiding her face in the coarse army blanket, probably +'crying her eyes out,' as you would say, with mortification and shame." +</P> + +<P> +"What a joke!" exclaimed Nan. "Poor thing! She didn't see the parade +after all, and I declare she deserved to. That was the time she was in +it though, with a vengeance." +</P> + +<P> +"Look out for this cab, Nan! Be careful. We cross here. Please don't +rush so—I can't keep up with you," pleaded Miss Blake. +</P> + +<P> +The girl gave her shoulders an impatient shrug and drew her eyebrows +together in a scowl of irritation. But her face cleared as she saw +Miss Blake buying their tickets at the box-office. +</P> + +<P> +"Get them good and up front," she begged. "If we're way back we can't +see a thing." +</P> + +<P> +The governess hesitated an instant; then a curious expression came over +her face and she said, deliberately, "Very well, dear! Up front they +shall be." +</P> + +<P> +The house was quite full and Nan thought it a singular piece of good +fortune that there were places left just where she would have chosen to +sit. +</P> + +<P> +"Just think of having come so late and yet being able to get the best +seats in the house," she said, exultantly. +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake smiled. She understood better than Nan did why the majority +of the audience preferred places that were not so near the stage. +</P> + +<P> +Both she and the girl herself soon forgot everything else in their +interest in the mysterious tricks that were being performed before +their eyes. Of course they knew that all this magic could be +explained, but just at the moment it appeared difficult to imagine how. +A man seems really no less than a magician who can take a red billiard +ball from, no one knows where, out of mid-air, apparently, and suddenly +nipping off the end, transform it into two, each equally as large as +the first. Presently he thinks you would like to have a third, and, +presto! he draws one out from his elbow. Now a white one for a change! +But it is easy enough to get a white one. He opens his mouth and there +it is, held between his teeth. Then he thinks he will swallow a red +one. Pop! it is gone! A moment later he takes it out of the top of +his head. +</P> + +<P> +Nan noticed that as the performance progressed the tricks grew +"curiouser and curiouser," as Alice would say, and the wizard seemed to +take his audience more and more into his confidence. He no longer +confined himself to the stage, but came tripping down the steps that +led from the platform to the middle aisle and addressed, first this one +and then that from among his spectators—only Nan again noticed that +these always happened to be sitting as they were themselves, in the +foremost seats. He induced a man just in front of her to come upon the +stage to "assist" him in one of his "experiments," and the girl +trembled lest at any moment he might demand a similar favor of her, for +though she was reckless enough as a general thing, she had sufficient +delicacy to dread being made conspicuous in such a place as this. +</P> + +<P> +"O Miss Blake," she whispered in the governess' ear, "can't we move +back a little? If he should make me go up there I'd sink through the +floor!" +</P> + +<P> +"Probably you would. No doubt he would let you down himself—through a +trap-door. No, we must stay where we are and we must bear it as best +we may. Perhaps he will overlook us." +</P> + +<P> +Nan thought of her hat and the many glances it had drawn to her in the +restaurant, and for the first time she had a feeling of mistrust +regarding it. Suppose it should fix his eye, with its towering bows +and flaming bird-of-paradise! If it did, she would hate it forever +after. +</P> + +<P> +But she soon forgot her anxiety in her interest in the wizard himself. +Silver pieces were flung in the air and then mysteriously reappeared in +the pocket of some unsuspecting member of the audience who was much +surprised at seeing them straightway converted into so many gold ones +under his very nose. Innocent-looking hoops turned out to possess the +most remarkable faculty for resisting all attempts to link them on the +part of any one of the spectators, and yet immediately assuming all +manner of shapes and positions in the hands of the dexterous magician +himself. +</P> + +<P> +At last a shallow cabinet was set upon two chairs in the centre of the +stage, and after a word or two of explanation, the wizard drew first +one chair and then the other from beneath it, and lo! the magic +cupboard remained poised in midair, without any visible means of +support whatever. +</P> + +<P> +"You see, ladies and gentlemen," announced the suave magician, "this +cabinet is bare; precisely like Mother Hubbard's immortal cupboard. +Can you see anything there? No! I thought not. Now I will place +within it these bells, so; and this tambourine, so; also this empty +slate. You see it is empty. It is quite a simple slate, such as any +school-child would use, and its sides are entirely bare. Now I close +the doors of the cabinet, so; wave my wand, so; and—" +</P> + +<P> +Immediately there followed the sounds of ringing bells and rattling +tambourine, while in a moment all of these instruments came flying out +of the top of the cabinet as if they had been vigorously flung aloft by +hidden hands. The smiling magician stepped forward, opened the doors +of the cabinet with a flourish, and lo! it was empty save for the +slate, which proved to be covered over with scribbled characters, and +which he politely handed down to persons in the audience for +examination. +</P> + +<P> +Nan was completely bewildered and so lost to all that was going on +about her that she did not realize that the wizard was tripping down +the stage steps and making his way affably up the middle aisle again. +It was only when he spoke once more that she woke with a great start, +and then to her horror she found he was addressing her. +</P> + +<P> +"I am sure this young lady will not refuse me the loan of her hat for +my next experiment," he began with a persuasive smile. "I assure you, +Miss, I will not injure it in the least. You won't object, will you?" +and he held out his hand engagingly. +</P> + +<P> +The girl stiffened against the back of her chair, so disconcerted that +she felt actually dizzy. +</P> + +<P> +"Give him your hat," bade Miss Blake, quickly, as if to put an end to +their really painful conspicuousness. +</P> + +<P> +Nan obeyed blindly. The smiling magician took it with a profound bow +and held it up for all the audience to see. +</P> + +<P> +"Now you perceive, ladies and gentlemen," he remarked, "that there is +nothing mysterious about this hat. At least I am sure the ladies do. +To the gentlemen it doubtless seems very mysterious, but that is +because they do not understand the art of millinery." As he spoke he +made his way up the aisle and to the steps that led to the stage. "It +is a beautiful hat. Very elaborate and of a most stylish shape, as you +see, but not at all mysterious. Yet I mean to make it serve me in a +very interesting experiment, which I think you will admit is +exceedingly won—" +</P> + +<P> +But just here he stumbled upon one of the steps, and in trying to +recover himself let Nan's cherished head-gear fall and brought his +whole weight upon it, crushing it out of all recognition. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, dear, dear! What have I done?" he deplored in sincerest dismay. +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake's eyes fell and Nan's lips whitened. Every one was looking +at them now, and the magician was making them even more conspicuous by +apologizing to them over and over again in the most abject fashion. +</P> + +<P> +"How could I be so awkward! Such a beautiful hat and ruined through my +carelessness. I have no words to describe my regret. Do forgive me! +But I promised to return your property to you uninjured, did I not, +Miss? So, of course, I must keep my word." He held the battered mass +of ribbons and bird-of-paradise high above his head as he spoke, and +then went forward and placed a pistol in the hand of his assistant on +the stage. The man retired to a distance and the wizard held the hat +at arm's length as if for a target. +</P> + +<P> +"Now, ready? Then—shoot!" +</P> + +<P> +A second for aim: a report; and the smiling Callmann stepped forward +with the hat in his hand, quite whole again and unimpaired. +</P> + +<P> +A shudder ran through Nan as she heard the applause and saw her +property held up to public view. She dared not turn her head to look +at Miss Blake, and she hardly heard the wizard's voice as he asked to +be permitted to use the hat for still another experiment, and she +scarcely saw how he placed it on a table, a perfectly innocent looking +table, and then proceeded to take from it a multitude of things—from a +gold watch to a clucking hen. +</P> + +<P> +When the hen came to light the audience fairly shouted, and Nan thought +she could never in the world get up courage to set that hat on her head +again and walk out before the eyes of these quizzical people. +</P> + +<P> +"They'll laugh at me all the way," she thought moodily. "And if they +ever see me in the street they'll say, 'There goes that trick hat! The +one the hen came out of!' I wish it was in Jericho!" +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake comforted her as best she could with little hidden pressures +of the hand and whispered words of sympathy, but the rest of the +performance was torture to them both, and when, at last, it was over +and they were well on their way home, Nan heaved a great sigh of relief +and tried to summon back her courage by declaring that "I don't care if +they did laugh when that hen clucked inside it and he said he was +afraid this was what might be called 'a loud hat!' It's heaps better +than lots I saw on other girls, so there!" +</P> + +<P> +"I am glad you are satisfied with it," said Miss Blake, simply. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap10"></A> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER X +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +EXPERIENCES +</H3> + +<P> +For the first time since Nan could remember, the house was full of the +air of Christmas preparation. Of course she had always had presents, +and she never failed to give Delia a gift, but there was no scent of +mystery about the holiday celebration; no delicious odor of a hidden +Christmas tree; no sense of unseen tokens; nothing to distinguish the +time from an ordinary birthday anniversary. But this year everything +was changed, and Nan was as much occupied with her own secrets and +surprises as either Miss Blake or Delia, who whispered and dodged and +smiled cunningly all day long in the most perplexing manner. But she +confined her preparations to her own room, while the governess +apparently needed the library and all the rest of the house, too, and +Nan found herself barred out of Miss Blake's room by her own stubborn +pride which still forbade her to go in without a formal invitation. +She was also locked out of the library which was now being made festive +for the coming holiday, so that at times she wandered about quite +helplessly in a sort of forlorn state of having nowhere to turn. +</P> + +<P> +She had fallen into the habit of running over to the Newton's while +Ruth was sick, and she proved such a tender nurse and entertaining +companion that the child's mother looked forward with relief to her +visits, and only wished she would come oftener. +</P> + +<P> +"She keeps Ruth so happy and contented. It gives me a free minute to +turn 'round in, and is a real comfort." +</P> + +<P> +"I thought you would find her helpful," responded Miss Blake. "She +loves children, and they know it and love her back again. She is very +gentle with them, and I know you may trust her, for she is as true as +steel." +</P> + +<P> +"She's a changed girl, that's the whole truth of the matter. You've +simply tamed her, the young savage!" +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, Nan has a fine nature. All she needs is judicious training. If I +were not sure of that I should despair many and many a time. She needs +judicious training and a world of patience and love." +</P> + +<P> +Mrs. Newton dropped her work into her lap and looked up earnestly into +the governess' face. +</P> + +<P> +"Yes, I can believe it. What a rash, head-long sort of creature you +must think me! Why, I was as bad as Nan herself, to go over there and +simply browbeat her as I did! Do you suppose she will ever really +forgive me?" +</P> + +<P> +"I'm sure she has done so already. Nan is generous. She does not bear +malice. She has a vast amount of pride but as yet she does not know +how to use it." +</P> + +<P> +"I should think it would be enough to break down your health—such +constant care and responsibility. It is Nan's salvation to have you +with her, but do you think you can hold out?" +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake pondered a moment and then nodded her head decidedly. "I +will hold out," she said staunchly. +</P> + +<P> +"You don't know how boisterous she was, and how it shocked me! At last +I grew frenzied, and when Ruth was brought in to me injured in that +way, through her fault, I supposed, I lost control of myself entirely, +and felt that, come what might, the girl must be attended to. There's +no doubt of it, your Nan is improved, and if this neighborhood is not +made miserable by her piercing war-cries, her hairbreadth adventures, +and her eccentric behavior generally, it is all owing to you. But here +she comes herself! Put away your work! Quick!" +</P> + +<P> +Nan knocked politely at the open door. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, come in, dear!" said Mrs. Newton cordially, and the governess +looked at her encouragingly and smiled. +</P> + +<P> +"Bridget told me to come right up," explained Nan. "Is Ruth out?" +</P> + +<P> +"No, taking a nap in the nursery. She'll be awake soon now, I'm sure. +Take off your things and sit down." +</P> + +<P> +"Won't I be in the way?" +</P> + +<P> +Mrs. Newton patted her on the shoulder. "No, my dear, you won't. On +the contrary, it will be very pleasant to have you here to take a cup +of tea with Miss Blake and me; will you excuse me a moment while I go +and call Katy to bring it up?" +</P> + +<P> +"I thought you were in your room," said Nan to Miss Blake as their +hostess left the room. +</P> + +<P> +"Did you need me? Why didn't you knock? What was it you wanted me to +do?" +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, nothing. I didn't need you—that is, there wasn't anything I +wanted you to do, only—it seemed kind of lonely, and so I came over +here." +</P> + +<P> +"And I thought you would be locked in your own room for the rest of the +afternoon. How dreadfully mysterious we all are nowadays." +</P> + +<P> +Nan laughed. She got out of her coat with a tug and a squirm and flung +it on the lounge. Then she wrenched off her hat (the Sternberg affair) +and tossed it carelessly after the coat. +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake bent over and straightened the untidy heap without a word. +</P> + +<P> +"Delia is making mince pie-lets for dinner," announced Nan. +</P> + +<P> +"How jolly of her!" said Miss Blake. +</P> + +<P> +"Huh!" exclaimed Nan. "She said you told her to." +</P> + +<P> +The governess smiled. +</P> + +<P> +Mrs. Newton came in a moment later and after her Katy with the tea-tray. +</P> + +<P> +Nan sprawled down on the rug in complete comfort while Miss Blake and +Mrs. Newton sipped their tea and talked of all sorts of things, to +which she hardly listened. +</P> + +<P> +She was full of her own thoughts, and somehow they were all connected +with the governess. In fact, her influence seemed to pervade +everything, and Nan often wondered how the house would seem without +her, now that they had "sort of got used to having her around." +Without a doubt she made herself useful. And somehow she managed to +make people depend on her in spite of themselves. And yet she never +made a fuss or exaggerated the things she did. She was always doing +"little things "—little things that didn't make any show, and yet they +were so kind they "sort of made you like her whether you wanted to or +not." This thought came upon Nan with a start, that roused her from +her musing and made her sit bolt upright with surprise. Had Miss Blake +made her like her, then? After all the reproaches she had cast upon +Delia was she no better than a turn-coat herself? +</P> + +<P> +"We had ours built in before we came into the house," Mrs. Newton was +saying. "It is a vast improvement. I wouldn't be without it for the +world." +</P> + +<P> +Nan pricked up her ears. She wondered what this desirable thing might +be. +</P> + +<P> +"Who did the work?" Miss Blake asked. +</P> + +<P> +"Buchanan. And I'll say this for him, he did it well. I haven't a +fault to find. I think you'd be satisfied with him." +</P> + +<P> +"A person doesn't like to put a piece of work like that into the hands +of a man one knows nothing about," resumed Miss Blake. "I'm glad to +profit by your experience. It may save me, too, a great deal of worry +and no little expense." +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, yes," returned Mrs. Newton. "If one can economize on experience +it's a great satisfaction. It's the best school I know of. But it's +so expensive that it ruins some of us before we're done." +</P> + +<P> +"What's the best school you know of?" asked Nan, curiously. +</P> + +<P> +"Experience," replied Miss Blake. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh!" +</P> + +<P> +"Yes; and it's a school we all have to go to at one time or another," +put in Mrs. Newton. "But we might make it a good deal easier for +ourselves sometimes if we'd take hints from our friends who have +graduated." +</P> + +<P> +"Have you graduated?" Nan asked, half in fun, turning to Miss Blake. +</P> + +<P> +But Mrs. Newton broke in before the governess could reply for herself. +"Graduated! Well, I should think so! Why, she has carried off honors! +She has taken a diploma—with a ribbon 'round it!" +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake laughed. "Nothing of the sort, Nan. I've had a few +lessons, that is all." +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, tell about some of them, won't you?" cried Nan, eagerly. "It +would be lots of fun." +</P> + +<P> +The governess considered. +</P> + +<P> +"Well, yes. I will tell you of the very first lesson I can remember, +if you care to hear," she answered, with a wistful smile. "I won't +promise it will be 'lots of fun,' though." +</P> + +<P> +"Never mind! Tell it!" And Nan settled herself more comfortably +against the governess' knee quite as if that person were, in reality, +her prop and stay, instead of being only some one she "sort of liked in +spite of herself." +</P> + +<P> +"I think it must have been the first real experience I ever had," began +Miss Blake, musingly. "At least it is the first one I recollect. I +was the littlest bit of a girl when my mother died; too young to +realize it, and my father scarcely outlived her a week. He died very +suddenly. They used to tell me that he died from grief. Anyway, he +was sitting at his desk looking over some important papers connected +with my mother's affairs, when suddenly he put his hand to his heart, +gave a faint gasp—and was gone." +</P> + +<P> +"What an elegant way to die!" broke in Nan impulsively. +</P> + +<P> +Mrs. Newton gave an exclamation of real horror at her flippancy. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, you know what I mean!" the girl hastened to protest. "I think it +must be worlds better than being sick, or hurt in an accident, or any +of those dreadful, lingering deaths." +</P> + +<P> +"After that I was given over into the charge of some distant +connections of my father," continued the governess. "They were good, +conscientious people, but they had no children of their own, and did +not like other people's. I presume I was not a very captivating baby." +</P> + +<P> +Nan straightened up suddenly. "I bet you were, though," she +interrupted. "You must have been a dot of a thing, with crinkly hair +and dimples, and mites of hands and feet. I should think they would +have loved you—I mean, a poor little lonely baby like you." +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake smiled. "Well, however that was, Nan, I was brought up very +strictly, and I assure you, I was made to mind my P's and Q's. One +could not trifle with Aunt Rebecca! Well, one morning I was sitting at +the foot of the staircase playing house. I can see myself now, +squatting on the lowest step, my fat little legs scarcely long enough +to reach the floor. I had on a checked gingham pinafore, and my hair +was drawn tight behind my ears and braided into two tiny tails with red +ribbons on the ends. I knew it was against the rule to play house in +the hall, anywhere, in fact, but in my own little room—with the doors +shut, but somehow I felt reckless that day, and when I heard Aunt +Rebecca walking to and fro, just above my head, I didn't scamper off as +I ordinarily would have done; I just sat still and said to myself, 'I +don't care! I don't care!' It seemed to give me a lot of courage, and +I wasn't a bit afraid, even when Aunt Rebecca's footsteps came nearer, +and I knew she could see me from the top of the stairs. Indeed, I grew +mightily brave; so brave, that after a couple of minutes I raised my +voice and piped out: 'Aunt Becca! Aunt Becca!' +</P> + +<P> +"'Well,' answered she, 'what is it? what do you want?' +</P> + +<P> +"Even the severity of her voice didn't dismay me that rash morning. +</P> + +<P> +"'I want Lilly,' said I, airily. Lilly was my precious doll. 'She's +in her little chair in my room; won't you please to pitch me Lilly?' +</P> + +<P> +"For a moment Aunt Rebecca hesitated. I think she must have been +petrified by my audacity. But she recovered herself and turned, and +without a word went to my room and got Lilly from her 'little chair.' +I was as complacent as if it had been quite the usual thing for Aunt +Rebecca to fetch and carry for me. Indeed, perhaps I imagined I was +instituting a new order of things, and that in future she would do my +errands, instead of I hers. +</P> + +<P> +"She came back to the head of the stairway and I looked up pleasantly, +half-expecting, I suppose, that she would come down and deliver my +darling dolly safely into my hands. But she didn't. If I were giving +orders she would obey me to the letter. She 'pitched me Lilly.' I +gave a dismal wail of dismay as I saw my dear baby come hurtling +through the air, but when she landed on her blessed head, and I heard +the crack of breaking china, I just abandoned myself to grief and +howled desperately. Aunt Rebecca went about her business as if nothing +had happened, and by and by I stole off with my ruined dolly and cried +to myself in the back yard—because I had no one else to cry to." +</P> + +<P> +"You poor little thing!" burst out Nan, indignantly. "What a +detestable woman! As if she could have expected such a baby to know!" +</P> + +<P> +"You're wrong, Nan!" the governess said. "It was a wholesome lesson, +and I am grateful to Aunt Rebecca for having given it to me." +</P> + +<P> +"Well, I shouldn't think you would be," insisted the girl rebelliously. +"The idea of her expecting such a mite to understand!" +</P> + +<P> +"Ah, but you see I did understand. And I have never forgotten it. I +have never asked any one to 'pitch me Lilly' since that day—I mean +never when I could go and get her myself." +</P> + +<P> +Nan pondered over it moodily for a moment. "And did you have to stay +in that house until you were grown up?" she demanded. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, no! When I was about your age I went to boarding-school, and +everything was changed and different after that." +</P> + +<P> +"How?" +</P> + +<P> +"Well, I made dear, faithful friends who took me to their hearts and +who made my life rich with their love. All that other hungry, empty +time was over, and for many years I never knew what it was to feel sad +or lonely, or to have a wish that would not have been gladly gratified +if it could be." +</P> + +<P> +"Now they were something like!" ejaculated Nan. "Dear me! I should +think you would have been sorry when you got through school." +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake made no reply. She put up her hand to shield her eyes from +the glare of the fire, and for a second or two there was a deep hush in +the room. Nan was the first to break the silence. +</P> + +<P> +"Goodness!" she cried, springing to her feet with a bound. "It's as +dark as a pocket outside, and Delia'll think we're lost or something if +we don't go home." +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake surreptitiously gathered her work together and slipped it +into her bag. "Yes, we must scamper," she exclaimed, as she turned to +help Nan on with her coat. +</P> + +<P> +"Dear, dear, what a gorgeous hat!" exclaimed Mrs. Newton, as the girl +set it carelessly upon her head. +</P> + +<P> +Nan looked sheepish. "I'm glad you like it!" she ventured clumsily. +</P> + +<P> +Mrs. Newton did not respond that she had not said she liked it. She +busied herself with Miss Blake and her wraps, and replied merely, "It's +a remarkable gay affair." +</P> + +<P> +Then she kissed the governess "Good-night," and saw both her and Nan +safely to the door. +</P> + +<P> +The two hastened across the street to see which could get out of the +wind first. +</P> + +<P> +"I beat!" panted the girl, as she stood in the vestibule and saw Miss +Blake breathlessly climb the last step. +</P> + +<P> +"Yes, you beat! Fair and square!" admitted the governess as Delia let +them in, chattering and shivering, from the chilly air. +</P> + +<P> +"Who'll beat now, going upstairs?" screamed Nan. +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake made a dash for the first step and the two went flying up in +a perfect whirl of laughter and fun. +</P> + +<P> +Delia had forgotten to light the gas in Nan's room and the girl +stumbled about blindly, crashing into the furniture and casting off her +coat and hat in her old headlong fashion, not stopping to think of all +Miss Blake's warnings on the subject, but just hurrying to get down +stairs and "beat" the governess in another race. +</P> + +<P> +"Clean hands! Smooth hair, and a neat dress for dinner!" sang out the +governess gayly. +</P> + +<P> +Nan shrugged her shoulders in the dark and made a lunge at the +mantelpiece for a match. She struck it and lit the gas, swinging off +to the washstand as soon as it was done. +</P> + +<P> +Suddenly Miss Blake heard a shriek, a rush of feet across the floor, +and then Nan's voice exclaiming "Great Scott!" in a tone that was a +cross between a laugh and a cry. +</P> + +<P> +She did not wait a moment but hurried instantly to the girl's door. +</P> + +<P> +Nan was standing beside the gas fixture, and in her hand was her +cherished hat—a ruined mass of smoldering felt and charred plumage. +</P> + +<P> +"Nan!" exclaimed Miss Blake, horrified at the sight. +</P> + +<P> +"I know it! Isn't it awful! I just slung it on the globe as I always +do, and—and—when I lit the gas I forgot all about it, and it was +ablaze in a minute. Don't say a word! I know you've told me hundreds +of times not to put it there. But I forgot, and—O dear! what'll I +wear on my head the rest of the winter? But it is too funny!" +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake tried to look stern. +</P> + +<P> +"I'm heartily sorry you've lost your hat, Nan," she said, kindly, +without a hint of reproach in her voice. "You were so fond of it. I'm +really very sorry, dear!" +</P> + +<P> +Nan checked her laughter. She let the hat fall to the floor. A sudden +impulse seized her, and she strode up the governess and took her by the +shoulders. +</P> + +<P> +"You're a real dear not to say 'I told you so!'" she cried. "And you +haven't jeered at me, though I know you hated the hat from the start. +And now I'm going to tell you something—two things! First: I'm never +going to hang up my clothes on the gas again, honestly! And second: I +hated the old thing, too. The minute I bought it I hated it, and I've +hated it ever since." +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake looked up, and their eyes met. +</P> + +<P> +"Good for you, Nan," she said, standing on her tip-toes to pat the girl +approvingly on the head. "Good for you! And now it's my turn to +confess. Wait a minute!" +</P> + +<P> +She flew out of the room, and before Nan fairly knew she had gone she +was back again, and in her hand was a huge milliner's box. +</P> + +<P> +"I couldn't help it!" she cried, half apologetically. "I got it that +day, just to please myself—and now you'll wear it, won't you, dear? +It's very simple, but it is of the best, and it will match your coat, +you see." +</P> + +<P> +She untied the string, lifted the sheets of tissue-paper, and displayed +what even Nan had to admit was a beautiful hat. +</P> + +<P> +The girl looked at it in silence for a moment; then she ducked down +impulsively, and gave the governess a quick, shy kiss upon the cheek. +</P> + +<P> +"Thank you," she said, huskily, with a sort of gulp, and then she ran +out of the room as fast as her feet would carry her. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap11"></A> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER XI +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHRISTMAS +</H3> + +<P> +"This is to be a German Christmas," Miss Blake said, "and we're going +to celebrate it on Christmas eve. Of all the different customs I've +seen I like the German the best. It is so jolly and freundlich, as +they say over there." +</P> + +<P> +So on Christmas eve the library doors were thrown open for the first +time in days and days, and there stood the most glorious tree that Nan +had ever seen. It was decked out with a hundred glistening things and +laden down with red apples, yellow oranges, and pounds and pounds of +peppermint candy, and barley-sugar figures, pretty to see and delicious +to eat, to say nothing of Marzipan, to which the girl was introduced +for the first time, and which she found altogether fascinating. +Innumerable candles burned gayly among the spreading boughs, and at the +very top hovered an angel with outspread, shimmering wings, her hands +bearing a garland of glistening tinsel, and her garments ablaze with +gold and silver decoration. Grown girl as she was, Nan was delighted. +It was all so new and strange; so different from anything she had ever +experienced before. +</P> + +<P> +Beside the tree were tables spread with white cloths, and upon these +lay the presents, and wonderful presents they proved. Miss Blake and +Delia had outdone themselves, and Nan's table was a sight to behold. +It seemed to her it held everything she had ever expressed a wish +for—except a bicycle, of course. +</P> + +<P> +A pocket-kodak from Miss Blake, a banjo from her father, skates from +Delia, she had longed for just such a new pair, and innumerable other +articles bearing no giver's name, but coming, every one, from the same +generous source Nan knew well enough. She absolutely lost her head in +the delight of possessing such an array of treasures. +</P> + +<P> +Her own little offerings seemed to her poor and mean in comparison with +this display; but Miss Blake's eyes actually filled with grateful tears +at the sight of the half-dozen linen handkerchiefs the girl had marked +for her with so much trouble and at the cost of so many hours of +recreation, and Delia hugged her rapturously at the sight of the +gorgeous dress-pattern that Nan had selected for her "all alone by +herself," and that had come out of the saving of more than a +half-year's allowance of precious pocket-money. +</P> + +<P> +"Now, Nan!" said Miss Blake, when the first excitement had somewhat +subsided, "there is one more surprise that Delia and Mr. Turner and I +have planned for you, and as I expect it to arrive at any moment now, +and as it is pretty big I want you to help clear away these tables to +give it lots of room to move about in. We want to get everything out +of the way and all the presents safely stowed aside upstairs so nothing +will be broken. While we are going back and forth you may guess what +it is, if you like." +</P> + +<P> +"A bicycle?" ventured Nan, striding upstairs with her kodak in one arm +and a bundle of books in the other. +</P> + +<P> +"No, it's not a bicycle. Guess again. I'll give you two more," +answered the governess, following after her with her load. +</P> + +<P> +"I know what I want next to a bicycle." +</P> + +<P> +"What?" +</P> + +<P> +"I don't like to say." +</P> + +<P> +"Why?" +</P> + +<P> +"Well, you know," hesitated the girl, "if I said what it was, and if +what you've got turned out something different, you might feel +disappointed because you might think I did." +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake smiled. "That's a generous thought, Nan," she said; "but I +give you free leave to speak out." +</P> + +<P> +Even now the girl hesitated, and stood awkwardly balancing herself +against the baluster-rail. "Even if you wanted to you couldn't give it +to me," she blurted out, at length. +</P> + +<P> +"Why?" repeated Miss Blake. +</P> + +<P> +"Because—oh, because—it wouldn't come," she cried, with a rueful +laugh. +</P> + +<P> +"Now that sounds ominous," exclaimed the governess, as she and Nan +started on their last trip. "It sounds as if you wanted a horse, or +something of that sort, that might prove balky." +</P> + +<P> +"No, it isn't a horse. But it's balky enough, if that's all." +</P> + +<P> +"Then tell me why it wouldn't come?" +</P> + +<P> +Nan let her armful of gifts fall on her counterpane in a heap. "Oh, +because—because—its mothers don't approve of me. What I want is a +party, so there! and I couldn't have one because, even if my father +could afford it, no one would come. Grace Ellis wouldn't, nor Mary +Brewster, nor any of those girls I'd want. They turn up their noses at +me because they think I don't know how to behave. Once Louie Hawes +spoke to me and I liked her, but the next time I saw her she looked the +other way, and I suppose some one had told her something she didn't +approve of. So she wouldn't come either—no matter how much I asked +her, and of course I wouldn't ask her at all. Mrs. Andrews up the +street asked me to Ruth's party last winter, but I heard their girl +tell Delia that she did it because she had known my mother and felt +obliged to, so I wouldn't go. I couldn't after that, you know. I did +go to the Buckstone twins' party, but all the other girls got off in +corners and laughed and talked, and I was left out and had to shift for +myself. So I went and talked to John Gardiner and Harley Morris and +those, and of course we got on first-rate—we always do, for if I can't +dance I can skate, and the boys got me to promise I'd go with them the +next good ice, and we got talking about other things, and I never +thought anything about the girls any more until Mrs. Buckstone came up +and said, 'I'm sorry, my dear, to break up this pleasant group, but we +can't permit you to monopolize our young gentlemen. The rest of the +young ladies are waiting for partners.' Then I knew I had got myself +into a scrape, for Mrs. Buckstone was dreadfully icy and the girls were +furious. So you see no one would come." +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake caught up a stray lock of hair at the girl's temple and +tucked it back into place, smoothed the ribbon upon her "best dress" +collar, and said tenderly: +</P> + +<P> +"Well, that will all be made right to-night, I guess. Come, take my +hand, and let's fly down stairs, and be ready to receive, for you've +got your wish—there's the bell!—and your party is coming in." +</P> + +<P> +They met the first comers on the stairs, and had to hurry past them to +avoid getting caught by a second installment. After that the guests +came quick and fast, and Nan had all she could do to welcome them and +wonder dimly in between how things were to be started, so that +everybody should have a good time. +</P> + +<P> +But, bless you! She might have saved herself the trouble, for Miss +Blake simply set things going without any bother at all, and before Nan +realized what was happening, she saw the governess and big John +Gardiner leading in a lively game, while the music of a piano and some +violins, which were hidden away out of sight, fell upon her delighted +ear. She followed the sound, and it took her to the glass extension, +which, to her astonishment, was all alight, and fragrant with flowering +plants and towering palms. The "old trunks and things" that had +littered the place were gone, and in their stead was all this soft +greenness and bloom, while from above hung graceful lanterns, sending +out a tender light that made the leaves look shadowy and waxen, and +gave the spot a peculiar air of mystery and grace. +</P> + +<P> +She found Louie Hawes and Ruth Andrews hidden away in a snug corner +behind a screening rubber-tree. They were apparently deep in +conversation when she came up, but at sight of her they fell suddenly +silent and looked embarrassed and ill at ease. For a moment Nan was at +a loss what to do. Then, all at once, Miss Blake's rule for etiquette +flashed across her mind: +</P> + +<P> +"When you don't know how to act, Nan, do something honest and kind, and +that will be sure to be right." +</P> + +<P> +She told herself that perhaps after all, the girls had not been talking +about her, and said to them pleasantly: +</P> + +<P> +"Do you like it away back here? It's rather out of the way of the +games; but don't you want to play?" +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, yes; by and by," stammered Ruth, awkwardly. "It's awfully pretty +in this conservatory, and Lu and I got in here and couldn't get away. +One wants to sit still and just enjoy it. I think I never saw such +dainty lanterns." +</P> + +<P> +The conversation seemed on the point of coming to a standstill, but Nan +plunged in again, her sense of being hostess spurring her on. +</P> + +<P> +"I guess they're some Miss Blake brought with her from China, or +somewhere. She has been around the world, and has collected any number +of beautiful things. Some of them are perfectly fine." +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, I think she herself is one of the loveliest things!" cried Ruth, +enthusiastically. "She has a darling face. One wants to kiss her, +she's so dear!" +</P> + +<P> +"Mamma says she used to know her years ago at school," said Louie. +"She says she is one of the finest characters she knows. She was +delighted to have me come when Miss Blake asked me to your party." +</P> + +<P> +"Yes, it was awfully nice of you to think of us," put in Ruth, +laboriously. +</P> + +<P> +Again the conversation threatened to flag. But here was Nan's +opportunity to do something honest, and she did it. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, don't thank me. I didn't think of you," she returned bluntly; +"that is, I didn't know anything at all about the party myself until a +little while ago. Miss Blake did it all. I don't know how in the +world she ever happened to ask just the ones I wanted, though." +</P> + +<P> +Ruth and Louie exchanged glances. Then they laughed. +</P> + +<P> +"Well, if you didn't think of us," they said, "you wanted us, so it's +nice of you all the same." +</P> + +<P> +That broke the ice, and it wasn't five minutes before all three were +sitting together and chatting as comfortably as if they had been on the +most intimate terms of friendship for years, and it was only Nan's +sense of her responsibility as hostess that dragged her away at last. +</P> + +<P> +"Miss Blake will wonder where we are. Won't you come into the other +room? Besides you can't enjoy being cooped up in this little corner +when the fun is going on outside." +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, but we do enjoy it!" protested Ruth. "It's giving us a chance to +get acquainted with you. And we want you to promise us that you'll go +skating with us day after to-morrow. Please do!" +</P> + +<P> +"Of course we know how you skate," declared Louie, "and we'll be so +proud to have such a champion in our club. Say you'll come! And don't +hold it against us that we haven't asked you before." +</P> + +<P> +Nan's heart leaped. "Why, I'll love to," she said with a frankness +equal to Louie's own, adding in a tone quite new to her, "if Miss Blake +will let me." +</P> + +<P> +Grace Ellis and Mary Brewster lifted their eyebrows in surprise as the +three girls appeared in the doorway, chatting so intimately and being +so plainly on the best of terms. +</P> + +<P> +"Dear me!" whispered Grace, "what's come over Lu and Ruth? They +actually look as if they liked her." +</P> + +<P> +"Don't you believe it," declared Mary sourly. "They're here at her +party and they can't exactly shove her off in her own house, but it +will be 'for one night only.' Now you see! They won't want her around +now any more than they have before—a rowdyish thing like that." +</P> + +<P> +She had scarcely replaced her bitter expression by one more suited to +the time and place when Louie came over to where they were, her face +wreathed in smiles, and her arm flung impulsively around Nan's waist. +</P> + +<P> +"O girls!" she cried. "Isn't it nice? Ruth and I have made Nan +promise that she'll come skating with us day after to-morrow, and she's +going to join the club. Won't it put a feather in our cap to have such +a member?" +</P> + +<P> +Mary knit her brows and Grace smiled icily. +</P> + +<P> +"Very nice," they responded coldly. +</P> + +<P> +Nan's eyes flashed, and then suddenly lowered. "Oh! I didn't give a +definite promise," she returned quietly, and with unexpected dignity. +"I said if Miss Blake would let me. I'm afraid she won't. I hurt my +ankle not long ago, and I haven't dared exercise it much since. +Probably Miss Blake will think I ought to save it for a while yet." +</P> + +<P> +"But you were out on Saturday," protested Ruth. "I saw you. Your +ankle is only an excuse. You skate so easily, it couldn't be a strain." +</P> + +<P> +Grace looked at Mary with a curious expression in her eyes, but neither +of them added her voice to the other girls' solicitations, and the +little group stood there in what threatened to become a painful silence +when Nan felt a light touch on her shoulder, and, turning around, +discovered Miss Blake standing at her elbow. +</P> + +<P> +"O Nan!" she said, smiling brightly at the other girls, as if to excuse +herself for not including them in her familiarity, "won't you please go +and see if you can't entertain that poor young Joe Tracy? I've done my +best, but he won't come out of his shell for all I can do, and I think +your hearty, breezy way is just what he needs. He looks so forlorn, +tucked away 'all alone by himself,' as you would say." +</P> + +<P> +She patted the girl affectionately on the shoulder as she sent her on +her way, saying heartily, as she passed out of ear-shot: "I always feel +perfectly secure when I can fall back on Nan to help me out with shy, +sensitive people. She has such a great, warm heart that it seems to +thaw their stiffness right out of them." +</P> + +<P> +Louie threw her arm impulsively about the governess' waist: +</P> + +<P> +"You're such a dear!" she cried, demonstratively; "and I'm over and +over obliged to you for letting me come here and get acquainted with +Nan. I think she is ever so nice, and it's a shame that we haven't +known each other before." +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake gave the girl a hearty smile. +</P> + +<P> +"Better late than never," she returned gayly. +</P> + +<P> +Grace Ellis reddened and Mary Brewster tilted her chin superciliously, +but they both turned their eyes suddenly in the direction of the other +end of the room as Ruth Andrews grasped Miss Blake's arm, and whispered +excitedly: +</P> + +<P> +"For goodness' sake, do look over there! Nan has got Joe Tracy +laughing already." +</P> + +<P> +Sure enough, the lad's pale, sensitive face was all aglow, and, as he +listened to what the girl was saying, his eyes brightened and his mouth +danced up at the corners in a laugh of genuine appreciation. Nan was +gesticulating in her own graphic fashion, and the girls could easily +follow her by watching her expression and her vivid pantomime. +</P> + +<P> +Plainly she was describing the sleight-of-hand performance to her +bashful friend, and Miss Blake could readily see that she was not +sparing herself in the recital. +</P> + +<P> +She raised her hands to her head and pretended to take off her hat, +which she made a show of reluctantly surrendering to some one who +received it with a profound bow. Then she suddenly leaned forward, as +if stumbling on something, and the next moment she held up her hand and +seemed to be regarding some article upon it with an exaggeratedly +doleful expression that was such an exact imitation of the renowned +wizard's that Miss Blake recognized it at once, and laughed as heartily +as Joe Tracy himself. By this time the girls were thoroughly +interested, and kept their eyes fixed on Nan so that they might not +lose one gesture nor the slightest change of expression. +</P> + +<P> +"O dear! Those Buckstone girls! Why do they get in my way," lamented +Louie Hawes, "I wish they wouldn't crowd round her so. First thing +they know she'll notice them, and stop short off and won't tell any +more." +</P> + +<P> +"Hush, Lu! There go John Gardiner and Harley Morris!" +</P> + +<P> +But Nan was in full swing now, and too absorbed in her story to be +aware of the little court that had gathered around her. Joe Tracy's +eyes followed her every movement with greedy interest, and when she at +length imitated the flapping wings of the clucking hen he simply +shouted with laughter and clapped his hands vigorously, quite lost to +all but his appreciation and sense of the fun of the thing. +</P> + +<P> +It seemed to remind him of something similar in his own experience, for +he immediately started in on a description of his own, and Nan sat +listening in her turn with rapt attention. Every now and then a shout +of laughter would come from the group in the distant corner, and the +girls longed to go over and join in the fun. +</P> + +<P> +"Listen to John Gardiner 'haw-haw!'" cried Mary Brewster. +</P> + +<P> +"Don't the Buckstone twins give funny little giggles?" interposed Louie. +</P> + +<P> +"Why can't we go over and listen too?" suggested Ruth. +</P> + +<P> +So they all, even Grace Ellis and Mary Brewster, went softly toward the +alluring corner, and were just in time to catch the end of Joe Tracy's +story, which was so witty that John Gardiner swayed back and forward +with delight and shook the room with his hearty laugh, and the +Buckstone girls' giggle joined in like a shrill accompaniment. +</P> + +<P> +It had all come about so naturally that Joe Tracy did not realize that +he had been orating to a roomful, and he did not seem to mind it at all +when he discovered that he and Nan had had an audience. His shyness +was quite gone and his face was radiant with enjoyment. +</P> + +<P> +The piano and violins started in again, and Miss Blake was heard +inviting bulky Tom Porter to escort her down to supper. +</P> + +<P> +Of course, Nan had known all along that there would be something to +eat, but she had not dreamed of such a spread as this. +</P> + +<P> +It made her eyes shine and her cheeks glow to hear such whispered words +as these: +</P> + +<P> +"Yes, indeed! Aren't you?" +</P> + +<P> +"Far and away the jolliest one yet!" +</P> + +<P> +"Do get me some more salad, won't you, please? It's the best I ever +ate!" +</P> + +<P> +"Up-and-down jolly time. A fellow likes to be made feel at home like +this." +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake, who without seeming to be watching any one, saw that every +one was well supplied, kept a constant eye on Nan, and at last, on the +strength of what she discovered, thought it was time to interfere. +</P> + +<P> +"Now sit down, my dear," she commanded softly, coming up behind the +girl and touching her gently on the arm. "You are getting all tired +out and having nothing to eat yourself. Every one is served and the +waiters will look out for the rest. I have saved a place for you in +the corner beside Louie and Ruth. So go now and rest and eat and enjoy +yourself. You must not be the only one at your party who is neglected." +</P> + +<P> +Nan gave her a grateful look and dashed off toward Louie and Ruth who +were beckoning wildly to her to come. They had so much to tell that +they almost forgot their plates in their eagerness to talk. +</P> + +<P> +"Grace Ellis is just wild to come over here," confided Louie. +</P> + +<P> +"But Mary Brewster won't let her. Mary just bosses Grace about till I +think it's positively disgraceful," whispered Ruth. +</P> + +<P> +John Gardiner sauntered up. +</P> + +<P> +"Got everything you want?" he asked in a manful effort to be attentive. +</P> + +<P> +"No!" replied Nan, promptly, with a twinkle in her eye. "I want a +bicycle, please. Won't you get me one?" and she held out her plate as +if to have it supplied with the desired article. +</P> + +<P> +The tall fellow laughed. "With pleasure," he said, and took the plate +and marched off with it. +</P> + +<P> +"O dear! I hadn't finished my salad!" lamented Nan, looking +regretfully after him. +</P> + +<P> +Louie managed to telegraph their dilemma to Harley Morris, who promptly +responded to it by appearing with another plate of salad and a dish of +sandwiches. He did not go away after Nan was served, but stayed on and +led in the laugh when John Gardiner reappeared with a tiny ice cream +bicycle daintily poised against a mound of jelly, which he presented to +Nan with a low bow full of mock dignity, saying: +</P> + +<P> +"You have only to command and you are obeyed. Here is your wheel, and +may it go as fast as if it were geared to a hundred." +</P> + +<P> +"Thank you," replied Nan, accepting the joke and the plate at the same +time. "It'll go fast enough, no fear of that. Eating is never up-hill +work with me, and this has nothing to do but coast, you see," and she +swallowed the first mouthful down with a jolly laugh. +</P> + +<P> +"Look over at Mary Brewster! She's trying her best to pretend she +ignores us," whispered Ruth, but not so low but that the young fellows +could hear. +</P> + +<P> +"Is one who ignores an ignor—amus?" asked Harley Morris, grinning +broadly at his own witticism. +</P> + +<P> +"Yes," promptly answered Louie. "And in this case especially so, for +she doesn't know what she's losing." +</P> + +<P> +There were more games after supper, and last of all came the jolliest +part of the whole evening, an old-fashioned Virginia reel, Miss Blake +and John Gardiner leading and the rest following with the heartiest of +zest. In and out they tripped and up and down they ran till all were +fairly out of breath. Then suddenly Miss Blake seized John's hand, and +away they sped toward the library, the rest following helter-skelter, +where the Christmas tree stood all lighted and ablaze. +</P> + +<P> +"All hands round!" shouted John, as they formed a ring and pranced +gayly about the fragrant tree. +</P> + +<P> +Then up rose the governess' cheery voice, singing the dear old +Christmas carol that is always new: +</P> + +<P CLASS="poem"> +"Hark! the herald angels sing<BR> +Glory to the new-born King;<BR> +Peace on earth and mercy mild;<BR> +God and sinners reconciled."<BR> +</P> + +<P> +And the rest joined in and made the house re-echo with their hearty +chorus: +</P> + +<P CLASS="poem"> +"Joyful all ye nations rise,<BR> +Join the triumph of the skies;<BR> +With th' angelic host proclaim,<BR> +Christ is born in Bethlehem!"<BR> +</P> + +<P> +It seemed to melt the hearts of every one there, for the voices that +presently said "Good-night," were full of peace and good-will, and even +Mary Brewster's had a ring of sincerity in it as she murmured: +</P> + +<P> +"Good-night, Miss Blake! Good-night, Nan. I've had a charming +evening, and I hope we'll know each other better after this." +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap12"></A> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER XII +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +SMALL CLOUDS +</H3> + +<P> +It proved an ideal Christmas day. Clear and cold and spotlessly white, +for the snow fell heavily all through the night, and covered everything +with a mantle of glistening frost. +</P> + +<P> +Nan looked out of her window, and gave a gasp of delight as she saw the +shimmering, rime-covered trees, with the sunshine striking full upon +them and bringing out sparks of light from every branch and twig. +Whatever sounds there were in the streets came to her softened and +mellowed over the snow-laden ground, and as she listened she felt a +great wave of inward happiness surge into her heart and make the +possibilities of life seem very different to her from anything she had +ever dreamed of before. The snow, the sound of chiming Christmas +bells, worked upon her, and made her feel that it would be easy to be +good, and that her days ought all to be like this; that she would make +them so, serene and melodious, every one a festival. +</P> + +<P> +She heard Miss Blake stirring in the next room, and tore herself away +from her dreams to begin the day well with a prompt appearance at the +breakfast table. +</P> + +<P> +"It seems to me that if father were only here I wouldn't have a thing +left in the world to wish for," she said happily, spearing a gold-brown +scallop with her fork and eating it with relish. +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake put down her coffee-cup just as she was carrying it to her +lips, and her face wore the curious expression that Nan had so often +noticed there and could never account for. But the girl was too busy +with her own thoughts to regard it to-day, and the governess hastened +to respond: +</P> + +<P> +"Then next year, please God, you will be quite entirely happy. And a +year is not long to wait." +</P> + +<P> +"No, indeed!" broke in Nan. "Why, I never knew the time to go as +quickly as it does lately. It doesn't seem any while at all since you +came, and you've been here over two months. Just let's think what +we'll do next Christmas, when father is home. To begin with, I'm going +down to the dock with Mr. Turner, so that when the ship comes in he'll +see me the first thing. Then we'll come up here, and you and Delia +will be waiting to welcome him at the door, and there'll be decorations +and things and—" +</P> + +<P> +"You forget, dear Nan," Miss Blake said, gently interrupting her, "that +I shall not be here then." +</P> + +<P> +The girl's face fell and the light died out of her eyes. Then she +brightened again suddenly. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, you must, you must! Why, my father will want to see you. Of +course you'll be here. You'll have to stay and meet him. You can +surely do as much as that. You don't know how dear my father is! And +so handsome and good! Why, if you once saw him you couldn't possibly +be afraid. He's simply the kindest man in the world, and when he +smiles at you, you just love him—you can't help it." +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake herself smiled faintly. "I am sure he is all you say, Nan," +she replied. "But listen! There go the first bells. We must hurry or +we shall be late for church." +</P> + +<P> +The girl rose and made her way rather slowly to the stairs. Somehow +she felt less light-hearted than she had done a few minutes before. +What was it? She could not understand. The world had seemed all joy +and sunshine to her a quarter of an hour since, and now there was a +cloud over her heart that dimmed for her even the radiant prospect of +her father's return. +</P> + +<P> +"I feel just like sitting down and having a good cry—if I ever did +such a thing," she said to herself as she fastened on her new hat and +tried to be glad that it was so becoming. +</P> + +<P> +But as she and Miss Blake walked along the streets in the midst of a +crowd of happy, chatting church-goers her spirits rose, and she nodded +gayly to the Buckstone girls and Harley Morris, and broke into quite a +ripple of laughter as John Gardiner overtook them and asked if the +wheel he had brought her the night before had proved a good one. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, it was immense!" answered Nan, merrily. +</P> + +<P> +The services were beautiful, and Nan entered into them heart and soul, +listening to the sermon with rapt attention and letting her fresh young +voice swell out jubilantly in the dear, familiar carols as she had +never done before. +</P> + +<P> +As they went out of church Miss Blake said to her softly: +</P> + +<P> +"You won't mind going on without me, will you, Nan? I have a little +errand to do before I go home. Tell Delia I'll be back in time for +dinner." +</P> + +<A NAME="img-200"></A> +<CENTER> +<IMG CLASS="imgcenter" SRC="images/img-200.jpg" ALT=""I have a little errand to do"" BORDER="2" WIDTH="389" HEIGHT="594"> +<H3 CLASS="h3center" STYLE="width: 389px"> +"I have a little errand to do" +</H3> +</CENTER> + +<P> +"But why can't I go with you?" demanded the girl. +</P> + +<P> +"Because it—it wouldn't be best. I will explain it to you later. Now +I must go. Tell Delia what I said. But if I should happen to be +delayed don't wait, and don't—that is, tell Delia not to worry. +Good-bye!" and she was around the corner before Nan could say another +word. +</P> + +<P> +Ruth Andrews joined her and they walked along together, falling at once +into the easy terms of familiarity that had sprung up between them the +night before. +</P> + +<P> +"O Nan!" began Ruth abruptly, "you aren't going to be such a goose as +to back out of joining the skating club just because—well, because +Mary Brewster's such a prig? She isn't the whole membership, not by a +good deal, and the rest of us count on your coming. Why, you'll be a +tremendous acquisition. And the first meet is to-morrow. Won't you +come?" +</P> + +<P> +Nan hesitated. "It isn't because I'm a goose," she said at length. +"That is, I mean—oh, I can't explain it, but really, Ruth, I'd rather +not join. I wouldn't have a good time myself, and I'd only be spoiling +Mary Brewster's pleasure. It's no use. I know she's not the whole +club, and I really think the rest of you would like to have me, but +somehow, knowing she didn't want me, would spoil the whole thing and +I'd just be miserable the entire time." +</P> + +<P> +Ruth shook her head as if at the hopeless state of Nan's obstinacy, but +she broke in again immediately with a new suggestion: +</P> + +<P> +"Besides, I don't think you can be at all sure she feels that way now. +Why, I myself heard her telling you and Miss Blake that she hoped you +and she would know each other better after this." +</P> + +<P> +"Well, so we do," said Nan, whimsically. "I know now for a certainty +that she doesn't want me, and she knows that I won't go where I'm not +wanted, and if that isn't getting acquainted with a vengeance I'd like +to know what is." +</P> + +<P> +Ruth laughed ruefully, but broke in, with sudden inspiration: "O dear! +You're as proud as a peacock, Nan Cutler. Louie will be dreadfully +disappointed, for she told me to tell you she counted on you to take +her out. She's never skated much, you know, and she's wobbly on her +ankles. She's afraid of the teachers, and she doesn't like to ask the +boys, because they hate to have a girl hanging on to them, and the rest +of us have as much as we can do to attend to our own affairs." +</P> + +<P> +Nan's face lit up with quick pleasure. "Oh, if Louie needs me I'll +come in a jiffy. If you see her, won't you tell her I'll be only too +happy to teach her everything I know?" +</P> + +<P> +"Then we'll call for you at ten sharp to-morrow morning," announced the +wily Ruth, and before Nan could change her mind she had slipped off and +left her standing with her word given at her steps. +</P> + +<P> +"Where's Miss Blake?" asked Delia, opening the door in answer to Nan's +ring and seeing her alone. +</P> + +<P> +"Gone off somewhere on an errand or something. I don't know. She said +she'd be home for dinner, but if she wasn't, not to worry and not to +wait." +</P> + +<P> +Delia wrung her hands. "O Nan, child, why did you let her away from +you? She's gone to the Duffys; I know she has. And they've scarlet +fever in the house. The milkman told me so this morning at mass. +She's been going there for weeks, doing for them and carrying them +money and things. The youngest of the children had been sick all the +week, and now she's down with the fever. If I'd only thought to tell +her this morning! But my head was so full of the breakfast and +clearing up a bit after last night that I forgot. Oh, why did you let +her away from you?" +</P> + +<P> +"How could I know?" cried Nan, almost savagely. "I never knew she went +to such places! What has she got to do with the Duffys, anyhow? Why +hasn't somebody stopped her from going, I should like to know? She's +no business to run such risks. The first thing you know she'll catch +the fever, and then—and then—" +</P> + +<P> +She turned her back on Delia, and the next moment was flying upstairs +two steps at a time. +</P> + +<P> +"What are you going to do, Nan?" cried the woman. +</P> + +<P> +"Go after her and bring her home!" shouted the girl. +</P> + +<P> +But Delia barred the way when she tried to come down again. "You can't +do that, Nan," she protested. "It would only make things worse. Just +wait, and see if she comes home to dinner." +</P> + +<P> +"No; I want to go now!" persisted the girl. +</P> + +<P> +"But don't you see it would only worry her?" insisted Delia. +</P> + +<P> +Nan considered. "Well, I'll wait till dinner," she admitted; "but if +she isn't here by then I'll start." +</P> + +<P> +She sat down by the parlor window and commenced to watch. It seemed to +her that every one in town came into sight but the one she was looking +for with such curious anxiety. Suddenly her heart gave a great leap. +She flew to the front door and flung it wide. +</P> + +<P> +"She's come! She's come!" she shouted to Delia, exultantly. +</P> + +<P> +"Nan, Nan!" cried Miss Blake, hearing the joyous ring in her voice and +seeing the glad light in her eyes. "What is the matter? Has anything +happened? Has—has any one come?" As she spoke her lips grew white. +</P> + +<P> +"Yes! You're the matter! You've happened! You've come! I tell you +I'm glad! And don't you ever go to those Duffys again, where there's +scarlet fever, and you can die of it!" +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake sank upon the hall-chair and held her hand to her heart. +</P> + +<P> +"Why, what's the matter?" gasped Nan, frightened at the sight of her +white face. +</P> + +<P> +"Nothing, dear, nothing! I was startled—that was all." +</P> + +<P> +"But who startled you?" persisted the girl. +</P> + +<P> +"Not you. It is all over now." +</P> + +<P> +"You see," Nan hastened to explain, "the milkman told Delia there was +scarlet fever at the Duffys, and we thought you had gone there, and it +scared us to death." +</P> + +<P> +"But I told you to tell Delia not to worry." +</P> + +<P> +"Much good telling would do! Besides, you didn't tell me not to worry. +Of course, she'd worry anyhow and so would I. But is it true? Have +the Duffys got scarlet fever?" +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake hesitated. Then she said, truthfully, "Yes, they have, Nan. +Little Mary Ellen has it. But you need not be afraid. I would not +come back into this house without taking every precaution." +</P> + +<P> +Nan cast on her an indignant look. "And you think that's what made us +worry?" she asked, and turned on her heel and tramped upstairs in high +displeasure. But she had scarcely got as far as the landing when she +felt a hand upon her arm. +</P> + +<P> +"Nan, forgive me. I didn't think so—really. I know you had my safety +in mind. But I have been very careful all along. And now I have a +good nurse for the child, and I think she will pull through." +</P> + +<P> +"But promise me you won't go there any more," demanded Nan, sternly, +only half mollified. +</P> + +<P> +"I promise gladly. They don't need me now, and it would be wicked to +take an unnecessary risk." +</P> + +<P> +"Well, I should think so. Now, remember, you've promised. O Delia! +Is dinner ready?" +</P> + +<P> +All through the meal Miss Blake was aware of Nan's eyes fixed upon her +in a peculiarly scrutinizing gaze. She was puzzled, but asked no +questions, sure that, sooner or later, the girl would disclose the +reason herself. At length it came. +</P> + +<P> +"Does your head ache, Miss Blake?" +</P> + +<P> +"No, dear; why?" +</P> + +<P> +"Because your cheeks are pretty red, and I thought you might not be +feeling very well." +</P> + +<P> +"Probably the brisk wind has made them so, for I feel very well indeed." +</P> + +<P> +"Oh!" +</P> + +<P> +But at twilight Miss Blake came upon her bending double over a volume +of the Encyclopaedia, and a glance showed her what article the girl was +studying. It was that headed "Scarlet fever." +</P> + +<P> +The book was shut with a clap, and Nan stalked off to replace it in the +book-case without a word. She came back in a moment, however, and +stood before Miss Blake like a grim young Fate, her dark eyes full of +care and worry. +</P> + +<P> +"See here! You've got to take something. There's no use fooling with +a sickness like that. Your cheeks are red, and I shouldn't wonder but +your throat is sore. When you came home you kind of went to pieces on +the hall chair, and I guess your head is aching this minute. I don't +say you've got scarlet fever, but—it looks mighty like it, that's all. +Now don't be scared. I'll take care of you. I can, you know, if I put +my mind to it." +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake dared not hug her, though it was precisely what she longed +to do. She dared not laugh at her, either, for that would give lasting +offense when Nan was so deadly in earnest. What she did was to say +brightly, but in quite as off-hand and matter-of-fact way as the girl +herself had spoken: +</P> + +<P> +"I'm sure you could. But you see I am perfectly well. Honestly, I +haven't a pain nor an ache, and if my cheeks are still red it's because +the skin has been frost-nipped. I give you my word of honor I will go +to a doctor if I feel the slightest symptom." +</P> + +<P> +Her tone was so heartily sincere that Nan could not doubt her. She +drew a long breath of relief, as if a heavy load had been lifted from +her heart, and threw herself upon the lounge with a contented sigh. +</P> + +<P> +"Just think," she said. "Last night this time I didn't even know I was +going to have a party, and now it's all over and done with, and Ruth +and Louie want me to go skating with them to-morrow. It's been the +happiest Christmas I ever spent, with the exception of the Duffy part, +and I wish it could last forever." +</P> + +<P> +"I think some of it will," replied Miss Blake in her gentle voice, as +Delia came to light the lamps. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap13"></A> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER XIII +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +ON THE ICE +</H3> + +<P> +There was a great crowd on the lake. It was perfect skating weather, +and every one who had skates and could use them, had come to enjoy the +advantage of the first real ice of the season. The banks were thronged +with onlookers, and it was a great inspiration to the expert ones to +know that their performances would be watched and commended by such an +audience as this. +</P> + +<P> +"Goodness, girls! Did you ever see such a crush?" asked Louie +feverishly, hurrying her pace, as she, Nan, and Ruth neared the spot. +</P> + +<P> +"There won't be room to move," announced Nan, adding with a laugh, +"much less to fall down in." +</P> + +<P> +"All the better for me! I'll put on my skates and let the crowd push +me round. I'm never too sure of myself, but in a crush like this, one +can't go over, so I'm saved a heap of worry!" cried Ruth with a jolly +laugh. +</P> + +<P> +Nan's skates were on in a twinkling, and she longed with all her heart +to be off and away. But the sight of poor Louie, struggling vainly +with her refractory straps, kept her back. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, do hurry," urged Ruth excitedly. +</P> + +<P> +"Did you ever see such contrary things?" gasped Louie, her cheeks +crimson with cold, and the exertion of bending double in her fur jacket. +</P> + +<P> +"Give them to me; I'll get them on in a jiffy," and Nan was down on her +knees and the skates secured before Louie had even time to thank her +with a look. +</P> + +<P> +"Now, do come on!" cried Ruth, fairly dancing with eagerness. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, wait! wait! Please wait!" pleaded Louie. "This is the first time +I've been on the ice this year, and I feel so nervous I could scream." +</P> + +<P> +John Gardiner spun past with a nod and a flourish, but a moment later +wheeled about and came skimming up to where they were standing, saying +briskly: +</P> + +<P> +"Jolly day, isn't it? Ice in first-rate shape, too. Too many people, +but after a few of them get tired out it will be all right. Don't +suppose they'd care to stand aside and let us show them what skating +is, eh, Nan?" +</P> + +<P> +Nan laughed. "Perhaps they wouldn't like the figures we'd cut. I'm +not sure I would myself. Pride goes before a fall, and I'd rather be a +bit humble and keep on my feet." +</P> + +<P> +"As though you'd ever take a tumble," cried the young fellow with great +scorn. "Oh, I say, come along and let's do a turn or two, as we did on +the Steamer last year. Don't you remember what a rousing cheer we got? +Let's try it again." +</P> + +<P> +For an instant Nan's blood leaped. She liked to do daring things, and +she loved applause. John Gardiner was as much at home on his skates as +she was on hers, and they were singularly at ease together. Moreover, +way down in her heart was a sort of lurking pride at being especially +chosen by this favorite among the "fellows" and being seen with him in +his attractive suit and his graceful "Norwegians" that were the envy +and admiration of all the other fellows in town. It certainly was a +temptation, and for a moment Nan yielded to it. Then she looked at +Louie's anxious face and shook her head. +</P> + +<P> +"I'm heaps obliged," she said. "But I guess I'd better not to-day. It +wasn't much harm at the Steamer, for there was no crowd there to speak +of; but here it's so public, I'm afraid it wouldn't look well." +</P> + +<P> +John threw back his head and laughed. +</P> + +<P> +"As if you cared how things look!" he cried, frankly. +</P> + +<P> +Nan's cheeks reddened furiously. She looked down and drew a figure on +the ice with the tip of her skate. Her confusion could not escape him, +and he caught himself up instantly. "I mean, you've always been so +sensible, you know. You haven't cared for tattle or nonsense. That's +what's made us like you so. A fellow hasn't had to be on the continual +jump for fear your hat wasn't on straight or your hair was coming down. +You're as plucky as a boy, and it's like having another jolly, good +fellow about when you're around. You're not going back on all that? +You aren't going to turn girly-girly? You aren't going to be a Nancy, +are you?" +</P> + +<P> +She lifted her head with a jerk. "No; I'm going to stay plain Nan," +she retorted. "But I can't go out with you this morning, John—at +least not now. Later I may take a turn if you're willing." +</P> + +<P> +He saw that there was no shaking her resolution, and turned away with a +frown and a sigh. +</P> + +<P> +"Very well. If you won't, you won't. I'll look you up by and by, +though, and maybe you'll have changed your mind by then," and he was +off like a flash, his flying feet seeming scarcely to touch the ice, +and his long, curved, glistening skates flashing back the sunlight from +their dazzling nickel blades. +</P> + +<P> +Louie clutched Nan's arm. "Oh, I'm so glad you didn't go!" she said, +agitatedly. "I'm all of a tremble, and I'm sure I'll slip if you don't +hold on to me." +</P> + +<P> +So Nan held on to her, and slowly piloted her this way and that, urging +her gently to strike out alone, and patiently waiting until she had the +courage to try. Ruth darted hither and thither, minding it as little +when she went down herself as when she was the cause of others doing +so, and always skating with an awkward energy that was refreshing to +behold. +</P> + +<P> +"O Nan!" panted Louie, "how did you learn?" +</P> + +<P> +"By getting up whenever I fell down," declared Nan, succinctly. +</P> + +<P> +Ruth came toward them with arms flying like windmills. +</P> + +<P> +"O girls!" she gasped; but just here her feet went from under her, and +she sat squarely upon the ice with a great plump. "O girls!" she +repeated, not a bit abashed and without trying to get up, "Mary +Brewster and Grace are over there, and they just asked John to take +them out—at least Mary did—and he said he was ever so sorry, but his +'card was full,' and they are simply furious." +</P> + +<P> +"Get up!" commanded Nan, with lips that would twitch in spite of her +efforts to control them. "You'll catch your death of cold!" +</P> + +<P> +Ruth grasped her outstretched hand and struggled to her feet. "How are +you getting on, Lu?" she asked, shaking the snow from her skirts. +</P> + +<P> +"I think I'm doing a little better. Don't you, Nan?" appealed Louie, +tremulously. +</P> + +<P> +"Why, yes. You'll skate as well as any one after you've once gained +courage," Nan returned cheerfully, and took up the slow, tedious task +again of steering her laboriously this way and that, Louie meanwhile +clinging to her arm and uttering little panic-stricken shrieks that +irritated Nan beyond measure. No one could conceive how hard it was +for the girl not to desert her clinging companion. She knew in her +heart that Louie would never master the knack unless she were made to +rely upon herself. As long as she could depend on Nan's support she +would not make any effort to use her own energy, nor would she exert +her will-power to force herself to strike out alone. The ice was in +perfect condition to-day, but it would not long remain so with such a +crowd cutting it to pieces, and the sun already thawing the powdered +snow and threatening to do more damage to-morrow. If Nan lost her +chance now she might not have another so good in weeks to come, for the +weather was always uncertain and the holidays were short. Everything +seemed to urge her to break loose from her self-imposed martyrdom and +go her way rejoicing; the crisp air that sang in her ears and filled +her with a sense of glorious exhilaration; the shimmering sunlight on +the ice that seemed to scud before her and invite her to join in the +race; the knowledge that she was in reality doing Louie a doubtful +service by staying beside her, and, last of all, the look of +disappointment in John's eyes as he shot past them at intervals, and +saw that Nan was not yet ready to capitulate. A sort of war with +herself was waging in her mind; her sense of duty against her +preferences; her long established habits against her newly found +resolutions. She had resolved to be like other girls in the future. +It was like headlong, impulsive Nan to make a resolve like this, and +never stop to realize that it was only the exaggeration of herself that +proved objectionable; that it would be as impossible for her to be +sedate and silent and serious as for a dashing dandelion to become a +dainty buttercup. +</P> + +<P> +To her it seemed as if Miss Blake and the rest—were demanding of her +just such a metamorphosis and she had been trying—she really had—to +recast herself in the mold she thought they exacted. And now here came +John Gardiner, surely the nicest and most mannerly young fellow she +knew, and the one whom even Miss Blake was pleased to call "a perfect +gentleman"—here came John Gardiner, and told her that her despised +characteristics were precisely the ones that made her valuable. She +shook her head. It was no use; she could not understand. +</P> + +<P> +"O Nan!" cried Louie, shunting along clumsily by her side and clutching +her arm in desperation. "Won't you please get me over to the shore? +I'm all tired out. I guess I'll go in for a bit and warm up and get +rested, and then I'll come out again, may be, and take another try." +</P> + +<P> +Nan assented with alacrity. +</P> + +<P> +"You've made a pretty good beginning," she said with new encouragement +in her voice. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, it's always the same!" wailed Louie. "Year before last I got so I +could do it quite respectably, and then last year I had to learn all +over again. I really thought I'd pick it up where I left off this +year, but you see how it is! The very sight of the ice when I'm on +skates makes me quake." +</P> + +<P> +"Just force yourself to do it and you'll be surprised to see how soon +you'll be skimming all over creation," advised Nan, as she unfastened +her friend's skates and saw her start stiffly up the path to the Lodge. +</P> + +<P> +Her heart gave a bound as she realized that she was at last alone and +untrammeled. She pulled her Russian cap well into place, thrust her +hands deep into her pockets, and set out for the middle of the lake, +her lithe young body swaying gently forward as she was carried this way +and that by her gliding feet. She looked about for John, but he was +nowhere to be seen, and she concluded that he had given up expecting +her and had either gone home or joined other friends. Ruth was forging +about after her own peculiar fashion, getting in every one's way and +under every one's feet, and enjoying it all immensely. She was +perfectly self-reliant, and Nan did not feel that there was any +necessity of offering assistance or even companionship to such a +self-sufficient, resolute maiden, and so she set about enjoying her +independence with a clear conscience. A moment later she had forgotten +everything but the keen delight of the delicious exercise; the fresh +current of air upon her cheeks; the sense of flashing through space +"without any appreciable effort; the knowledge of her mastery of the +art. She had not a shadow of fear. Instead, she felt a sort of wild +exultation in her own daring, and set about doing difficult feats with +an added delight in the very risk of the thing. Suddenly a shadow shot +toward her from the back, caught her by the arm and went flying +forward, suiting his rhythm to hers in an instant. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh! heyo, John! I thought you'd gone home!" said Nan. +</P> + +<P> +"Not a bit of it. Think I'd leave the ice when it's as prime as this? +Not much. What under the canopy have you been about all this time? +Toting Lou Hawes around when you ought to be making the best of the +rarest chance you'll get this season, maybe?" +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, that's all right," rejoined Nan in a matter-of-fact way. "I liked +to do it—for a change. And she's a little timid." +</P> + +<P> +"Well now, you're free, let's have a couple of extra good turns just to +make up for lost time," and he took her hand and started off on a fine, +free swing, Nan gliding beside him in such perfect accord that it +seemed as if one impulse moved them both. They swung apart rejoined, +and swung apart again. Then, dropping her hand John gave a curving +glide to the right which took him a pace ahead of her, and she, +repeating his movement, but toward the left, passed easily before him +on the other side, so on and on in a sort of progressive chain, until +at a sign they sped backward, reversing the order in which they had +come, and reached the starting point and circled round it, clasping +crossed hands and chatting gayly the while. +</P> + +<P> +John saw that they had already attracted some attention, and it only +made his pulses quicken. He also saw that Nan was oblivious to +everything, but the mere delight of what she was doing, and he did not +think it worth while to remind her that this was not the Steamer, and +that if she wished to be inconspicuous, as she had suggested, she would +better limit herself strictly to a commonplace gait. Instead he bent +toward her, and said in a quick, low undertone, "I'll bet a quarter +you've forgotten how to cut your name." +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, have I?" cried Nan, the spur pricking sharply at her pride. "Want +to see me do it?" and off she went accordingly, accomplishing the +difficult figure without a thought of hesitation, and returning to his +side laughing and triumphant. +</P> + +<P> +"Now the spiral! Forward! Left foot first! Now right! Combination!" +</P> + +<P> +John gave the directions in a sort of tense whisper. He was mortally +afraid Nan would become conscious, and see what was going on about her. +But he might have spared himself the trouble. She was absolutely blind +to the crowd that had gathered about them, and all the commendation she +was aware of was that which he gave her in a murmured "Good!" or "Fine!" +</P> + +<P> +A wide circle had been cleared for them, and in it they and one or two +other hardy souls were exhibiting their prowess, while the throng +outside whispered and applauded and made comments on the different +skaters and their respective skill and grace. +</P> + +<P> +"There! That's the serpentine he's doing now! Isn't it pretty?" +</P> + +<P> +"It must be frightfully hard to go backward like that!" +</P> + +<P> +"I should think he'd fall on his head!" +</P> + +<P> +"Look! See! She's starting off again! Doesn't she do it well?" +</P> + +<P> +"Who is she, anyway?" +</P> + +<P> +Nan had completed her figure, and was waiting at the edge of the circle +for John to finish his and to come and join her. She stood well back, +so that she might not interfere with the others, and thus it was that +she was waked from her trance with an abrupt shock by the sound of two +whispering voices, seeming almost at her ear, their murmur carried so +in the chill, crystal air. +</P> + +<P> +"Didn't I tell you she was a bold thing?" +</P> + +<P> +"Sh! She'll hear you! She's right in front of us—only those men +between." +</P> + +<P> +"No she won't, either. We're too far away. Didn't I tell you Lu's and +Ruth's friendship was for one night only? I knew well enough why Lu +asked her to come. Any one could see through that. She wants to learn +how to skate, and this was as ready a way as any to be taught, and she +jumps at the chance." +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, do hush! She'll hear!" +</P> + +<P> +"Don't care if she does. I don't know what your opinion is, but mine +is that it's positively brazen of her to do such things before a crowd +like this. Dragging John Gardiner into it, too! It's a disgrace!" +</P> + +<P> +"Sh, please! There he comes!" +</P> + +<P> +Nan pulled herself wearily forward a step or two to meet him. +</P> + +<P> +"I say, what's up? What's the matter?" he demanded anxiously, looking +into her face and seeing the change it had undergone. +</P> + +<P> +"Nothing! Nothing!" she reassured him quickly. "I'm tired, that's +all. And I didn't realize these people were watching us. Let's get +out of this. I hate the way they stare. I want to go home." +</P> + +<P> +John took her by the elbow and steered for the bank. +</P> + +<P> +"Won't you find Grace and Louie first? You came with them, didn't you? +They won't know what's become of you." +</P> + +<P> +"I don't care! I want to go home!" she repeated irritably. +</P> + +<P> +They sped forward silently, and in a moment had reached the shore. Nan +trembled so as she tried to unfasten her skates that John pushed her +hands aside and made her submit to having him assist her. +</P> + +<P> +"You've caught cold!" he said remorsefully, "I was a brute to keep +urging you on. But I didn't dream you were tired. You looked so +bright and well." +</P> + +<P> +"I'm not tired. I haven't caught cold!" said Nan. "Don't bother about +me, please. Go back and finish up your skate!" +</P> + +<P> +"Thank you kindly, ma'am," rejoined he, removing his own skates. "But +I've finished it up already," and he grasped her arm and tramped her +off in the direction of the Park entrance with vigorous steps. +</P> + +<P> +"Won't Lou and Ruth wonder?" he ventured again after a moment of +silence. +</P> + +<P> +"No! They don't care!" cried Nan, dismally. +</P> + +<P> +"The mischief they don't!" and John gave vent to an exclamation of +disbelief. "Why, Ruth was only telling me half an hour ago how good +and generous you were, and Louie caught me in the Lodge and went into +regular spasms over you. You're the patientest, the +generousest—everythingelse-est girl she knows. I had actually to tear +myself away from her raptures when I saw that you were free of her and +could take a turn with me." +</P> + +<P> +Nan shook her head. +</P> + +<P> +"No, you're wrong, John!" she said hopelessly. "They don't like me. +None of them do. It's no use. I thought Christmas eve I might make +them, perhaps—but I give it up. I'm too—different!" +</P> + +<P> +"Now, see here, Nan!" cried John, stopping suddenly in the middle of +the path and confronting her squarely, "this change of base has come on +you all of a sudden. You weren't in such a state before. You've seen +something or heard something that's given you a turn. Say now, haven't +you, honestly?" +</P> + +<P> +Nan gulped and nodded grimly. +</P> + +<P> +"I thought so. Well, now, you say you're different from the other +girls, and so you are in most ways, but just at present you're doing +the silliest trick I know. Going off by yourself and making people +miserable all around. Do you know what a fellow would do in your +place? Why, he'd go straight to the man he'd heard or seen back-biting +him and he'd make him come out fair and square and own up—or shut up. +'You pays your money and you takes your choice.' That's what a fellow +would do. But girls prefer to be martyrs and go about 'letting +concealment prey upon their damask cheeks' and all that namby-pamby +nonsense. Pshaw! I wouldn't give a rush for a girl's courage. It's +all humbug." +</P> + +<P> +"It isn't any such thing!" cried Nan, hastening to defend her sex. "It +isn't because I'm afraid that I don't go straight up to the—the +person. It's because I have too much pride. I wouldn't demean myself +by letting her know I care." +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, fudge! Pride! I like that! Care? Why, whoever she is, she can +see that, anyhow, with half an eye. It's as plain as preaching. You +came with Lu and Ruth, and were as gay and jolly as could be. Then, +all of a sudden, you turn grumpy and want to go home, and say Lu and +Ruth don't like you. The explanation of that is simple enough. You've +heard some one saying something about you, or pretending to repeat +something Lu and Ruth have said about you. There! Now haven't I hit +the nail on the head?" +</P> + +<P> +Nan made no reply. +</P> + +<P> +"I wager I have, though," continued the young fellow, watching her +closely, and drawing many of his conclusions from the evidence of her +tell-tale face. "And I'd be ashamed, even if I were a girl, to let +myself be worried by a thing like that. Besides, it isn't fair to Lu +and Ruth. You ought to give them a chance to set themselves straight. +You've no right to believe things of them till you've their own word +for it that it's true. Give them a chance, and if they act queer you +can throw them over." +</P> + +<P> +"But I can't ask them," burst out Nan. "It wasn't anything they said. +It was about the way they feel, and if I give them a chance they may +throw me over." +</P> + +<P> +John laughed. "True for you. They may. But anyway, you'd have done +the just thing. Whatever they did to you, you'd have played fair." +</P> + +<P> +Nan thought a moment. Suddenly she turned on her heel and began to +retrace her steps. "I'm going back," she said, stoutly, "to find Lu +and Ruth! and—and—give them that chance." +</P> + +<P> +"There! Now you're behaving like an honest man," announced John, with +gusto. "One can't afford to be too perpendicular." +</P> + +<P> +But before they had taken a dozen steps they came upon the two girls +themselves, running breathlessly toward them. +</P> + +<P> +"O Nan!" panted Louie. "What is the matter? Are you sick? Are you +hurt? We couldn't find you anywhere!" +</P> + +<P> +"We looked all over and got terribly nervous, and at last Mary Brewster +told us you had gone home," Ruth broke in, gaspingly. +</P> + +<P> +"She said John had taken you, and that you kind of walked as if you +were dizzy or something. We've run all the way! Do say, are you +sick?" pleaded Louie. +</P> + +<P> +"Or hurt?" articulated Ruth. +</P> + +<P> +John and Nan regarded each other solemnly for a moment. Then they both +broke into a peal of laughter. Nan was the first to speak. +</P> + +<P> +"No, I'm not sick and I wasn't hurt—the way you mean. I was a +goose—that's all. I want you to forgive me." +</P> + +<P> +"What for?" demanded the girls, in a breath. +</P> + +<P> +"Why, for—for—making you run after me," replied Nan. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap14"></A> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER XIV +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHANGES +</H3> + +<P> +"Let's go back after luncheon," suggested Ruth as they tramped homeward. +</P> + +<P> +The others assented heartily enough, and Nan was so eager to return to +her sport that she did not wait for Delia to let her in at the upper +door, but burst through the basement way, and ran against Miss Blake in +the lower hall. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, excuse me!" she panted. "We've had a glorious time. We're going +out again. Please may I have a bite of something quick, so I can run? +We want to make the most of the daylight, and Lu can almost go alone." +</P> + +<P> +"Certainly. Delia has everything on the table. But won't you want to +run upstairs and give your face and hands a little scrub?" +</P> + +<P> +Nan's forehead wrinkled, and she was on the point of uttering an +exclamation of disgust. But she caught herself up, and pressing her +lips together hard, flew upstairs without a word of protest. She +finished her luncheon in marvelously quick time. +</P> + +<P> +"If you wish to go you may be excused," her companion announced, as the +last crumb was swallowed. A gleam of surprise lit upon Nan's face. +</P> + +<P> +"Thank you," she said, and went her way feeling more contented with +herself than she had done in many a long day. +</P> + +<P> +It was late when she returned, and not finding Miss Blake in any other +part of the house, she went to the governess' room and tapped on the +door for admittance, a thing she had never done before, from pure +perversity and a determination not to "let any person suppose she cared +to see them when she didn't have to." +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake herself opened the door to her and invited her to "step into +her parlor," most cordially, adding: +</P> + +<P> +"I'm just having my afternoon tea. Won't you take a cup with me?" +</P> + +<P> +At first Nan could scarcely find voice to reply, so strange did she +feel in this altered room. When she had last seen it it was bare and +cold and comfortless, and now— +</P> + +<P> +The windows were draped with inner curtains of dainty Swiss. Hangings +of some soft, pale green stuff hung before them and in all the +doorways. The bed was shoved into a far corner of the room, and where +it had once been, against the wall, a low bookcase now stood, +displaying rows of tempting books upon its well-laden shelves, and +above them delicate bits of bric-à-brac. A rug covered the centre of +the floor. The ugly mantel-shelf was hidden from sight by an Oriental +scarf, and upon it stood all manner of odd and curious trifles. The +shabby lounge was covered by a fine old rug and piled with cushions, +while beside it stood the quaint stand and brass tray that Nan had +feasted from when her foot was lame; only now it held a brightly +burnished alcohol kettle, out of which steam was issuing in the most +hospitable fashion possible. Here also were dainty cups and saucers, +and here it was that Miss Blake brewed her tea after she had led her +guest to a chair and helped her remove her cap and coat with all the +solicitude of a veritable hostess. +</P> + +<P> +"Well, how has the day gone?" asked she, trying not to betray her +amusement at Nan's obvious amazement. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, finely! We had a jolly good time. Lu can go alone now. John and +I took her out and simply made her skate. Ruth goes floundering about +like a seal, and every one laughs at her, but she's so good-natured she +doesn't mind, and one can't help liking her. Such a funny thing +happened. +</P> + +<P> +"We were standing still for a minute waiting for Lu to catch her +breath, and all at once we saw Ruth coming galloping toward us in her +ridiculous way. A big, fat man was skating in the other direction, but +nowhere near her, and we didn't notice him particularly till she veered +suddenly off and crashed straight into him, without any excuse at all, +just hurled into him plump, and bowled him square over. It was the +most deliberate thing I ever saw. She had gone out of her way to do +it, but, of course, she didn't mean to. They both went crashing down +with such a thump I thought it would break the ice, and as he went over +he said: 'Good gracious!' in the mildest, funniest voice you ever +heard. John hurried off and helped him up, and I got Ruth on her feet +again, all covered with snow, and as mortified as could be, but choking +with laughter. The man looked worried, and we asked him if he was +hurt. He said, 'No! Oh, no indeed!' and then he turned to Ruth with +the most embarrassed sort of apologetic smile—just as if he had been +to blame. +</P> + +<P> +"'I'm so sorry!' he stammered. 'It is the strangest thing how it could +have occurred. I thought you were over there. I really thought I was +in no one's way. Oh, would you mind telling me—a—what I said when +I—a—fell?' +</P> + +<P> +"Lu was swallowing her pocket-handkerchief to keep from laughing out, +and I know I was grinning. +</P> + +<P> +"Why, I think you said, 'Good gracious!'" said Ruth, shakily. +</P> + +<P> +"'Oh, thank, you!' the man cried, looking ever so much relieved. 'I +thought I said 'Good gracious,' but I—I wasn't sure. I'm very glad!' +and he shambled off as if he were lamed for life, poor thing, while +Ruth and Lu and John and I simply rocked with laughter. And now when +anything happens John says 'Good gracious!' in the mildest tone, and +then goes on, 'What did I say? Oh, thank you. I thought I said "Good +gracious," but I wasn't sure!'" and Nan broke into a chuckle at the +mere recollection of the thing. Miss Blake laughed in sympathy, and +she and Nan drank their tea and nibbled their wafers in the most +amicable fashion possible, talking over, not alone the pleasant +experiences, but also that which had threatened to spoil Nan's day, the +remembrance of which made her shudder even now. +</P> + +<P> +She repeated the incident to Miss Blake, concluding with: +</P> + +<P> +"I don't care what they think!" +</P> + +<P> +"John was right," declared Miss Blake, "and you did what was brave and +just. But don't give up trying to win Mary's and Grace's good opinion, +Nan. I want you to be respected and loved, and you can be, if you will +only be as true to yourself as you are to your friends. You were not +satisfied to let Lu and Ruth rest under a false accusation this +morning. Neither should you be satisfied to let yourself. Prove to +Mary and Grace that you are neither bold nor brazen. Force them to see +that you are kind and lovable and courageous." +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, dear! How can I?" despaired Nan. +</P> + +<P> +"Why, simply by being so," declared Miss Blake. +</P> + +<P> +Nan fell silent, and then, when Miss Blake was just beginning to wonder +what new caprice her guest had fallen victim to, she broke out +impetuously: +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, I say Miss Blake! it is just festive in here. I never saw +anything that began to be so pretty." +</P> + +<P> +It was genuine praise, and Miss Blake really flushed with gratification +as she replied: +</P> + +<P> +"Thank you, Nan. I think myself it is cozy, and I am very happy if my +little nest pleases you. It is a very simple one. I am my own +upholsterer and my own decorator, so I have a special reason to value +any praise of my small domain. You must come often if you like it +here, for I love to play hostess to so appreciative a guest!" +</P> + +<P> +Nan settled back among the cushions with a contented sigh. +</P> + +<P> +"I wish," she said presently, "I wish the rest of the house looked this +way." +</P> + +<P> +"If you really would like to make some changes, Nan, I will do my best. +What there is in the house is good and substantial, and with a little +alteration could be made to serve very well." +</P> + +<P> +Nan looked up eagerly. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, let's try and fix up the house, for father's coming home. Mr. +Turner will give us some money to pay for repairs, I guess—he always +does when pipes burst and things. Won't it be jolly to watch father's +face when he comes in and sees it all so pretty here? Poor old papa! +Mr. Turner says he may come in the fall, and so we'll have all the +summer to work and plan in, and then when he's here, won't we have a +jubilation, Miss Blake?" +</P> + +<P> +The governess stooped to pick up a pin, and she did not reply. Then +she rose and carried the tea-cups and plates to the washstand, where +she began rinsing them carefully. +</P> + +<P> +"When your father comes home I shall not be here, you know," she said +simply; "but you will be very happy together, and I am sure he would +enjoy a pretty home!" +</P> + +<P> +The radiance in Nan's face faded suddenly. The same dull pain was at +her heart that she had felt and shrunk from yesterday. Only now it did +not pass away, and all the evening she seemed to be haunted by a +peculiar sense of impending misfortune. It was as though she had been +reminded of some unhappy occasion that she had tried to forget. Every +once in a while after that, when she saw Miss Blake laboriously toiling +to renovate some dilapidated piece of furniture, or heard her +discussing with Delia the remaining possibilities of this carpet or +that pair of curtains, she felt an almost uncontrollable desire to cry +out—so sharp was the sudden sting of regret that bit at her +conscience—and so keen the pain that pierced her heart. +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake left her to enjoy her holidays in perfect freedom, but as +soon as they were spent the books were brought out again and lessons +resumed as strictly as if the discipline of an entire school depended +on it. +</P> + +<P> +But study had grown to have no terrors for Nan, and she was not at all +aware of the thorough course she was being put through, because it was +all accomplished in such an unobtrusive fashion. Miss Blake had a +system of her own which she put into practice, and the girl followed +her unconsciously with an interest that showed how wise an one it was. +Latin and mathematics proved the most troublesome of the tasks, and +would perhaps have led to some serious differences of opinion if Miss +Blake had not confessed herself at the start "rusty" in these +particular branches and suggested that they "go over them together." +</P> + +<P> +"I really never was very strong in either of them, and it will do me +good to review," she explained. +</P> + +<P> +So, spurred on by the thought of competition, Nan did her best; went +through the declensions with a rush, and quite outstripped her +fellow-student in the matter of algebraic problems. +</P> + +<P> +History was always simple enough with Miss Blake to make it seem like +the most dramatic of romances, and the girl discovered a fresh interest +in the Roman heroes when the scenes of their exploits was so +graphically described to her, and when she could build up the ancient +city for herself by the aid of Miss Blake's admirable photographs of +the present. +</P> + +<P> +"It seems to me you have done more traveling than any one I ever knew!" +exclaimed the girl for the hundredth time one day. +</P> + +<P> +"It has been all I had to do," rejoined the governess wistfully. "For +many, many years I have had nothing else. But now all that is changed, +and—as it is half-past one, and I hear Delia coming up to announce +luncheon, I'll dismiss my class, and declare school over for to-day." +</P> + +<P> +"That is always the way," mused Nan, "whenever I refer to her and try +to start her telling about herself she veers off and talks of something +else. Queer about her traveling so much, though. I wonder how she +came to do it—when she's so poor. She never said straight out she was +some one's companion, and I don't think a governess would be taken all +over the globe like that." +</P> + +<P> +While the ice lasted Nan had many a good hour upon her skates. Miss +Blake too donned hers, and at these times the tables were turned and +Nan became the patient teacher, the governess the obedient pupil. +</P> + +<P> +"My ankles are weak," pleaded the pupil in apology for persistent +failure. +</P> + +<P> +"Exercise 'em and they'll grow strong!" declared the intrepid +instructor in peremptory tones. +</P> + +<P> +"It's no use, I can't reverse, Nan!" +</P> + +<P> +"Pooh! 'Never say can't till you've proved that the task is +impossible,'" quoted Nan, with a gleam of mischief in her eyes. +</P> + +<P> +"You're real mean, so there!" responded Miss Blake in return with such +a good imitation of her own querulous tone that the girl burst into a +shout of laughter, and the two started off again to make another, +perhaps futile attempt, at the difficult feat, until, by the latter +part of the winter, Miss Blake acquitted herself so creditably that her +teacher regarded her with pardonable pride, and declared, +</P> + +<P> +"There, now! You ought to be 'all primmed up with majestick pride.' +You skate as well as anybody now, and you've got rid of every particle +of nervousness." +</P> + +<P> +There were many things beside skating that the governess set herself to +accomplish during these months, and Mrs. Newton often took her to task +for working so hard. +</P> + +<P> +"You are beginning to look completely fagged. Do let the house go. +What do you fret over it for? If Nan wants alterations, why not let +Mr. Turner engage competent people to do the work? You have +responsibility enough without planning and overseeing all these +improvements." +</P> + +<P> +But Miss Blake only shook her obstinate little head and continued to +discuss ways and means with Mr. Turner and Delia and to direct the +workmen, who presently took possession of the house, and made it seem +like a Bedlam into which order could never be restored. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, that's fine!" cried Nan, clapping her hands when she heard of the +governess' plans. "That hall closet was no good anyhow. Delia only +kept her brooms and dust-cloths there, and it's just the place for a +dumb-waiter. But if we turn the library into a dining-room, what are +you going to do with the books?" +</P> + +<P> +"The best of them can be put on low shelves along the parlor walls, and +we'll take the rest upstairs and make a sort of cozy study of the front +room for your father." +</P> + +<P> +"Splendid!" cried Nan. +</P> + +<P> +For weeks the place was in a turmoil. Carpets were taken up, some of +them never to go down again, curtains were unhung, cleaned and folded +carefully away, and when the coast was clear the work of remodelling +began in earnest. +</P> + +<P> +It seemed to Nan as if it would never come to an end, but little by +little things began to assume a more promising aspect, and at length +the last lingering workman dragged himself reluctantly away, and then +Delia descended upon the place, armed with scrubbing-brush and pail, +and waged a mighty war upon every spot of dust or paint anywhere to be +found. +</P> + +<P> +The parlor had been freshly papered, and its walls no longer frowned +gloomily down upon the inoffensive guest, but seemed to cast a faint, +rosy smile at the redecorated hall and the new dining-room beyond. +Miss Blake stripped away every vestige of tarletan, and let the fine +oil paintings display themselves unveiled to the public eye. +</P> + +<P> +"We can have the windows screened if we are afraid of flies," she said +as she folded away the unsightly shrouds, and Delia echoed, "Why, so we +can!" in the promptest assent, and as though it had been her own idea +all along. +</P> + +<P> +The draperies were of the simplest sort, but Nan thought them +perfection. She fairly danced with delight as she fancied her father's +face when he should see his altered home. He would never recognize in +this attractive, tasteful room the old, gloomy parlor of former days. +</P> + +<P> +The furniture was drawn out of its martial line and placed here and +there in inviting positions by loving, artful hands. Various pieces +were banished altogether, and where this chair or that had grown shabby +Miss Blake renewed its usefulness by covering it over with some odd +material that harmonized nicely with the old-fashioned shape of the +frame and the tone of the rest of the room. +</P> + +<P> +A simple fireplace had been set in the blind chimney-piece, in which +were placed grandma's graceful andirons, buried so long in the attic +that Nan had never seen them, while the old mantel-shelf in the library +was torn out altogether and a stately new one put in its stead, and in +this too was a place for wood and fire-dogs. The two French windows +leading into the glass extension were transformed into doorways, and +gave pleasant vistas of a blooming conservatory, into which the south +sun shone genially the best part of the day. +</P> + +<P> +Louie and Ruth came in on a special visit of inspection when the work +was all completed, and it did not detract from Nan's enjoyment to hear +them say that they thought the house one of the prettiest they had ever +seen. +</P> + +<P> +"It has such a fresh, comfortable look," exclaimed Louie. +</P> + +<P> +"As if you lived in every part of it and enjoyed it yourself, and +wanted other people to enjoy it with you," added Ruth. +</P> + +<P> +"So we do," declared Nan; "that's just what we do. Isn't it, Miss +Blake?" +</P> + +<P> +And Miss Blake nodded a smiling assent, though she knew quite well that +until very lately Nan had never thought about the matter at all. She +had taken her home for granted, and it never had occurred to her to try +to improve it in any wise. But the governess had had more in mind than +the mere indulging of the girl's fancy when she set about rearranging +the place. As in most of her characteristic schemes there was "a +method in her madness." Nan soon discovered that a dainty home brought +its obligations with it. +</P> + +<P> +"Do you notice," said Miss Blake one day, "that since the household +arrangements have been altered there has been a good deal more work to +be done?" +</P> + +<P> +"Why, I don't know," rejoined Nan; "why should there be?" +</P> + +<P> +"Because all these bits of bric-à-brac we have set about must be dusted +every day, and because throwing the parlor open, as we do, makes +another room to look after. Then the plants in the conservatory should +be carefully tended if we want them to live, and Delia has to take +double the steps she used to take when we ate in the basement. Really, +Nan, as things stand, I feel the work is going to be too hard for her." +</P> + +<P> +"Dear me! Whatever are we going to do?" demanded the girl anxiously. +</P> + +<P> +"Simply, she must have help." +</P> + +<P> +"You mean another servant?" +</P> + +<P> +"No, not that. I cannot increase the household expenses in such a way +without your father's knowledge and approval. What we have done now is +almost more than I dare think of. My only comfort is that it has come +out of your money." +</P> + +<P> +Nan gave a start. "My money!" she exclaimed. "Why, I never knew I had +any. Goodness! tell me about it." +</P> + +<P> +"There is nothing to tell. Simply, some one who owed your mother a +debt and was unable to discharge it during her lifetime, has paid in a +certain part of it to Mr. Turner for your benefit—or so he tells me. +Both he and I thought it wise to use it in this way. The house is +virtually yours, and unless you improve it from time to time it will +decrease in value. We both felt that since you wished it, and since it +might be looked upon in the light of protecting your property, we might +safely lay out the money as we have done without first consulting your +father." +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, I'm glad," cried Nan. "I didn't want him to know. It'll be all +the bigger surprise to him when he comes home. But what are we going +to do about Delia?" +</P> + +<P> +"That is what I want you to tell me," rejoined Miss Blake. +</P> + +<P> +"I?" queried the girl. "Why, I'm sure I don't know what we can do, +unless we hire another girl—and you say father can't afford that." +</P> + +<P> +"Now, Nan, listen to me," said Miss Blake, seriously, drawing her chair +to the girl's, and emphasizing her words by laying her hand upon hers +and tapping it gently whenever a point was made. "Let us put the +matter quite plainly, and see if we can't come to a conclusion that +will both help Delia and save us the trouble of engaging another maid. +One pair of hands can't do the work in this house! You admit that?" +</P> + +<P> +"Yes; I s'pose so," conceded Nan. +</P> + +<P> +"Well then, obviously, we must secure the aid of another pair—perhaps +even two." +</P> + +<P> +"Uh-huh!" assented the girl cheerfully enough. +</P> + +<P> +"Not only that, we must secure the aid of another pair, if not two, at +no additional expense to your father." +</P> + +<P> +Here Nan's head began to drop. "That's what floors me," she responded +perplexedly. "The rest is easy enough to settle; but how in the world +we are going to get people to work for us for nothing—" +</P> + +<P> +"What are those things in your lap, Nan?" asked the governess suddenly +with a quick smile and an extra tap of the finger on the girl's palm. +</P> + +<P> +"My hands, of course." +</P> + +<P> +"Why shouldn't they be the pair we need? I cordially offer the use of +mine." +</P> + +<P> +"Oh!" +</P> + +<P> +Nan's face was rather blank. "I hate housework," she added, and her +mouth drew down at the corners in a pout of petulance. +</P> + +<P> +"I doubt if any one really cares for it. But it must be done, and in +this case you and I must consent to do it, at least in part. Now that +you have looked the facts in the face, let us say no more about it, +after we have settled just what we prefer to do. I have always taken +care of my own room. Will you see to yours after this?" +</P> + +<P> +"I s'pose so. +</P> + +<P> +"Then there is the dusting and the plants." +</P> + +<P> +"I'll take the plants," Nan hastened to declare. +</P> + +<P> +"And the dishes on Mondays and Tuesdays?" continued Miss Blake. +</P> + +<P> +There was a pause. +</P> + +<P> +"If there's one thing I despise it's washing dishes," cried the girl, +her voice trembling with irritation. +</P> + +<P> +The governess looked down at her own two delicate little hands and +seemed to be considering. Then she raised her head quickly, and said, +without a shade of resentment in her voice: +</P> + +<P> +"Very well then, dear, I'll take the dishes. So here is the way it +stands: You care for the plants and your own room and I'll look after +my room and do the dusting and the dishes." +</P> + +<P> +"You'll have more to do than I," hesitated Nan. +</P> + +<P> +"No matter; if you do your share well, and don't neglect it, I am +willing to stand by my part. Is it a bargain?" +</P> + +<P> +Nan nodded grimly, and they shook hands upon it. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap15"></A> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER XV +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +A TUG OF WAR +</H3> + +<P> +"Is Nan in?" asked Ruth, coming to the house one day in the very teeth +of a blinding snowstorm, and putting the question to Delia with a very +decided note of excitement in her voice. +</P> + +<P> +"Yes, she's in; but she's pretty busy," replied Delia, showing the +guest into the dining-room, where the bright logs were blazing +cheerfully in the fireplace, and where Miss Blake, enveloped in a huge +apron, was kneeling before the hearth and polishing its tiles till they +shone like gems. She stopped to welcome the guest in her own hearty, +informal fashion. +</P> + +<P> +"O Ruth! come in and sit down. I wondered who could be brave enough to +face a storm like this. Why, it is almost a blizzard. Take off your +things, dear, and get warmed. You won't mind my going on with my work?" +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, no! not at all. Please don't stop. Thank you. This is as +comfortable as can be. But then, one always is comfortable here. I +came to see Nan about something important. She's busy?" +</P> + +<P> +"Yes, in her room. But if you don't mind waiting a little I think she +will soon be able to come down," responded the governess genially. +</P> + +<P> +"Then I'll sit here, if you don't mind," and the girl settled herself +in an engulfing armchair with a sigh of satisfaction, her eyes +following Miss Blake from place to place as she tripped briskly about, +energetically wielding her dust cloth and whisk broom and humming +contentedly as she worked. +</P> + +<P> +"Perhaps you won't approve of the plan that I've got in my mind, and +won't let Nan go into it," ventured Ruth, presently. +</P> + +<P> +"I can't fancy you suggesting anything that I would so seriously +disapprove of as that," returned Miss Blake, smiling kindly, but asking +for no further enlightenment on the subject than her guest was inclined +to give of her own accord. +</P> + +<P> +"Well, then, it's this: If the cold weather lasts we'll have elegant +sleighing, with all this snow, and I want to hire a sleigh, just any +common old thing will do, and fill it with straw, and all of us girls +and boys go off on a screamingly fine sleigh-ride. If it clears we'll +have a full moon, and I think it would just be the jolliest thing in +the world. Now please say Nan can go. She'll love to I know, and she +always makes things snap so," pleaded the girl, fixing her eyes on Miss +Blake's face with a peculiar intensity of expression. +</P> + +<P> +The governess hesitated. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, please say she can," reiterated Ruth. +</P> + +<P> +"My dear Ruth, I can't say anything until I know more of the matter. +You say you girls and boys are to go. What girls and boys do you mean?" +</P> + +<P> +"Why, Lu and Grace and Mary and the Buckstone girls, of course; and +John Gardiner and Harley Morris and Everett Webster, and oh! all those +fellows—the ones in our set; you've met them all." +</P> + +<P> +"And is there to be no grown woman in the party—no chaperone?" +suggested Miss Blake. +</P> + +<P> +Ruth looked down and began picking a thread from the thumb of her glove. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, of course; mamma wouldn't let me go unless there was a chaperone," +she replied after a moment, but tamely, with the ring all faded out of +her voice. +</P> + +<P> +"No, I am sure she would not," the governess remarked dryly. +</P> + +<P> +"I thought of you at once," Ruth began again with an upward glance that +however did not meet Miss Blake's eye. "But then we all thought that +it would be too much to ask of you—to ride all those miles with a +noisy crowd in the cold and night, and—so on, and so—so—just before +I came here I ran into Mrs. Cole and asked her to chaperone us, and she +said she would." +</P> + +<P> +The governess laid her duster on a chair, and unbuttoned her apron very +deliberately. +</P> + +<P> +"Mrs. Cole," she repeated half-aloud, as if speaking to herself, and +her tone had something in it that seemed to call for some sort of +justification from Ruth. +</P> + +<P> +"You know she's just been married, and she's as full of fun as she can +be. And she likes a good time immensely, and loves to be with us +girls, and it won't bore her a bit to go, and it's ever so much better +to have her than—than—some one who wouldn't enjoy it, you know." +</P> + +<P> +"Is Mr. Cole to be of the party?" Miss Blake inquired, still with that +odd inflection. +</P> + +<P> +"Why, no," responded Ruth, twisting her handkerchief into a hard knot. +"There won't be room for him. But Mrs. Cole said it didn't matter in +the least. She says she often goes off and leaves him, and he has just +as nice a time sitting home with his cigar and a book or something." +</P> + +<P> +"They have been married, I think, three months," Miss Blake commented +half to herself. +</P> + +<P> +"Yes, about," replied Ruth. "And Mrs. Cole is just as gay and jolly as +she ever was. You may think that it isn't very dignified for a married +woman to—" +</P> + +<P> +"Oh! my dear Ruth," interrupted the governess hastily, "I am not +disparaging Mrs. Cole, and I have no right to express an opinion +concerning her conduct, but I think—yes, I am quite sure that I prefer +Nan not to join your party." +</P> + +<P> +Ruth jumped from her chair with a cry of protest: "O Miss Blake! Don't +say that! Think of it, we're going to drive down as far as Howe's and +have a supper and it will be such fun. We want Nan awfully. She's +just the best company in the world, and if she doesn't go it will +be—well, it will be too bad. Do please say she may." +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake shook her head somewhat sadly. "I can't say so, Ruth. +There are special reasons why Nan ought not to go—reasons that I can +only explain to her, but which I am sure she will understand. You +other girls have your mothers, but Nan has none, and that means that +she has no protector, now that her father is absent, unless I can stand +in such a relation to her. Believe me, I do not voluntarily deny Nan +any pleasure, but there are some instances in which I must." +</P> + +<P> +"But it's going to be perfectly proper," Ruth insisted, almost in +tears. "You don't think my mother would let me go if it wasn't going +to be perfectly proper, do you, Miss Blake?" +</P> + +<P> +The governess stood before the fire and rested her arm on the high +mantel-shelf, tapping the fender lightly with the toe of her slipper. +At Ruth's question she turned her head quickly from the flames toward +the girl with a compassionate smile. +</P> + +<P> +"No," she hastened to declare, "I am sure your mother would not let you +go to anything that she knew to be in any respect not altogether as it +should be." +</P> + +<P> +There was just the shade of an emphasis on the word knew—just the +merest breath of a pause before it. Miss Blake gazed frankly and +fearlessly into the girl's eyes as she spoke, and Ruth's lids dropped +suddenly as if she had been trying to look at the sun and it had +blinded her. +</P> + +<P> +There was a pause and in it they could distinctly hear Nan's feet going +to and fro on the floor above their heads, and her sharp young voice +shouting the chorus of some tuneless popular air, in her own perfectly +cheerful, earless fashion. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, Miss Blake, please!" quavered Ruth. +</P> + +<P> +If she had known the governess as well as Nan did she would have known +that it was worse than useless to "tease." As it was, she was aware of +some force here that did not appear in her own easy-going mother, and +unconsciously she bowed to it—but even as she did so she gave a last +wail of entreaty from pure force of habit. +</P> + +<P> +"Please, Miss Blake!" +</P> + +<P> +"No, Ruth. I can't consent to Nan's joining you. If she goes, it will +be in direct defiance of my authority and against my wish and approval. +But when she hears what I have to say I do not think she will go." +</P> + +<P> +"Don't think who will go?" demanded an eager voice, as Nan came pelting +in at the door, having flung down stairs in such a whirl that they had +scarcely realized she had started before she was here. +</P> + +<P> +"Heyo, Ruth! When did you come? You're a dear girl to venture out a +day like this! Who'll go where, 'you don't think,' Miss Blake?" +</P> + +<P> +Ruth rose and began dragging on her gloves. "Hello," she said, +blankly, in return for the other's greeting. +</P> + +<P> +"Who'll go? Who'll go?" insisted Nan, tapping the floor with her foot +to emphasize her impatience. +</P> + +<P> +Ruth looked at Miss Blake a little sullenly, and said nothing. Miss +Blake looked at Nan. +</P> + +<P> +"You," she returned simply. "I was just saying to Ruth that I am sure +you would not go anywhere against my plainly expressed wish." +</P> + +<P> +The girl threw back her head with an unrestrained laugh. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, now, you're bragging!" she cried breezily. "Don't count too much +on me. I'm a queer creature. I don't know what I'd do if I were hard +put!" +</P> + +<P> +Ruth glanced at Miss Blake again as she buttoned her coat. The +governess' face was quite placid, but there was an expression in her +eyes that was quite new to the girl and that she did not care to face. +</P> + +<P> +"The fact of the matter is, Nan," Miss Blake explained, "Ruth has come +here to invite you to join a sleighing party to be given—what night +did you say, Ruth?" +</P> + +<P> +"The first clear one," responded the girl still sullenly. +</P> + +<P> +"The first clear night," resumed Miss Blake. "All your friends are +going, and it would give me as much pleasure to have you join them as +it would you to do so, but—under the circumstances it is impossible to +do anything save—" she paused an instant, and Nan broke in impatiently: +</P> + +<P> +"Under what circumstances? There aren't any circumstances! A +sleighing party! Why, it'll be just magnificent and gorgeous! Of +course I'll go. Hurrah! Ruth, you're a dear to ask me! Go? Well, I +should think so!" +</P> + +<P> +Ruth fastened her fur boa about her neck, and murmured something almost +inaudible about having to hurry home. +</P> + +<P> +"Well, you can count on me," cried Nan, flinging her arm about her +friend's waist and escorting her to the door. "Good-bye! Thanks heaps +for asking me! Las' tag!" +</P> + +<P> +The front door slammed, and the girl came back to the library with her +cheeks aglow and her eyes flashing. "What fun!" she exclaimed. "I +know what we'll do! We'll go down to Howe's and have a supper and a +jolly good time generally. Mary Brewster and Grace and Ruth had it all +planned out for the next good snow, and I'd forgotten. O goody!" +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake was standing as they had left her, by the fire, with her +foot upon the fender and her hand upon the high mantel-shelf. Now she +took them both down and turned to Nan, saying in a low, controlled +voice: +</P> + +<P> +"Nan, I want to talk to you about this party. And you must hear me +out, even if some of the things I am about to say do not please you." +She kept her eyes on the girl's face as she spoke, and saw its +expression change quickly from one of eager anticipation to one of +growing apprehension and then again to one of dogged opposition. So +vivid were these changes that she almost lost the necessary courage to +go on, for she read in them that her task promised to be no easy one. +</P> + +<P> +"Well?" said Nan, tapping her foot impatiently, as Miss Blake did not +at once continue. +</P> + +<P> +"Please sit down here, and I will try to say what I have to say as +quickly as possible," resumed the governess, drawing a long breath. +</P> + +<P> +Nan obeyed, but with a decidedly impatient fling of herself upon the +low ottoman Miss Blake had indicated. +</P> + +<P> +"As I said to Ruth," the low voice commenced, "under almost any other +circumstances it would give me the greatest pleasure to know that you +were to enjoy this sleighing party with the others. If Mrs. Andrews or +Mrs. Hawes were going it would settle the question at once." +</P> + +<P> +"Or if you were," suggested Nan, with a curl other lip. +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake's face paled, and for an instant she regarded Nan in a sort +of surprised, hurt silence. Then she replied, steadily: "Yes, or if I +were. But as it is Mrs. Cole, the case is entirely altered. Mrs. Cole +is scarcely more than a girl herself, and—I say this to you, Nan, +simply because I must—she has never been, to my idea, a lady-like +young woman. She has always been flippant and frivolous and +boisterous; anything but a good companion for a number of impulsive, +impressionable girls like yourself." +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, pshaw!" interrupted Nan, impatiently. "There's nothing against +her at all. She's lots of fun, and a body'd be a great goose that +tried to suit all the old frumps in town. She said so herself, and +she's married and she knows." +</P> + +<P> +A ghost of a smile flitted across Miss Blake's face. Nan's emphasis +reflected so directly on her own condition of unauthoritative +spinsterhood. +</P> + +<P> +"If you and the other girls have no more careful a chaperone, one who +will be no more of a restraint than Mrs. Cole, I am afraid the party +will prove a rather uproarious one. And I cannot help thinking that +this is precisely the reason Mrs. Cole has been asked to attend you; +that you might not be under any restraint. I don't for a moment think +any of you girls would deliberately take advantage of your liberty, but +you are full of animal spirits, and when you get in full swing it is a +little hard, perhaps harder than you know, to rein yourselves in. I am +afraid Ruth has not been quite candid with her mother. At all events, +I am sure that if Mrs. Andrews realized the circumstances she would +think twice before letting Ruth go. It is not only that I think Mrs. +Cole will not prove a restraint; I am afraid she will intentionally +lead you on. And if she does, I am afraid your sleigh-ride will be +decidedly unconventional." +</P> + +<P> +"I hope we'll have a splendid time," announced Nan, setting her jaws +with a snap of her teeth. +</P> + +<P> +But the governess went on as if she had neither seen nor heard. +</P> + +<P> +"It is very important, Nan, that you especially should not be +identified with anything of the sort. It might injure you in such a +way that the harm could never be repaired." She paused and Nan +straightened herself with a jerk. +</P> + +<P> +"I'd like to know why it's more important for me than for the other +girls? If their mothers think it's good enough for them I guess it's +good enough for me, and if they can be trusted I guess I can." +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake hesitated, but only for a moment. Then she went on steadily +and firmly, but without the least suggestion of sternness in her voice +or manner. +</P> + +<P> +"The reason is simply this: You have not had the advantages the other +girls have had. You have had no mother; no careful, loving training +from the first, and—excuse me, dear—your behavior has shown it. How +could it be expected not to do so? People have criticized you, and +their criticisms have been severe, unjust even. Lately you have set +yourself right with most of your neighbors, but it has been hard work, +and it has been only begun. It will still be hard work to keep their +good opinion. If you want to hold a place in their esteem you must +earn it and keep on earning it. The other girls might do with perfect +safety what you could not dream of doing, because in them it would be +looked on merely as a single slip; with you it would be backsliding. +Do you understand me, Nan?" +</P> + +<P> +There was no reply, but the girl's bent head was answer enough. Miss +Blake passed her hand tenderly over the roughened hair, and for a long +time there was silence between them. Nan was thinking, and Miss Blake +was content to let her think. +</P> + +<P> +The tall clock in the corner tapped out the minutes with slow, even +ticks. The fire burned steadily on the hearth, and the logs settled as +they burned. Outside the high wind raced madly around bleak street +corners, carrying the snow before it in white, blinding clouds. The +air was so full of the swirling, eddying flakes that it dimmed the +light and made evening seem to have settled down long before its usual +time. Every now and then there came to them from the conservatory a +faint, faint breath from a blossoming daphne, as though the delicate +thing were breathing out sweet gratitude for its shelter from the storm. +</P> + +<P> +Nan could not help responding to the quieting influence of it all. It +was very, very different from the place as it used to be, and she felt +the difference and the suggestiveness of it more now than she had ever +done before. +</P> + +<P> +Suppose the change in herself was as marked as this? Every one seemed +to like her nowadays. They said she was altered and improved, and if +they said so, she supposed it must be true. What, then, if she were to +turn about and be her old self again? +</P> + +<P> +What if Miss Blake were to give the house its old aspect again? Ugh! +It was disheartening even to think of such a thing. But granting that +she were to let things go back, she couldn't undo some of the +improvements she had made? So it seemed reasonable to Nan that even if +she let herself be as she had been for awhile, just to rest from the +constant trying to be good, for a day or so, the really important +changes must still remain; like the dumbwaiter and the wall paper and +the frescoes and the woodwork. And, pshaw! Just going to this +sleigh-ride wasn't going to prove that she was backsliding, anyway! +Miss Blake was too particular—making an awful fuss over nothing. Mrs. +Cole was all right enough. Lots of nice people knew her, and the girls +always liked to have her around, she was so gay and jolly. And now +that she was married, it was fun to have her chaperone them, for she +never interfered, nor was wet-blankety, like mothers and people, no +matter what was going on. In fact, she often urged them on and +suggested things the girls themselves would never have thought of, so +that wherever she was the fun promised to run high. It was too bad of +Miss Blake to have put the case as she had. It simply meant that if +Nan went she deliberately disobeyed her wish and defied her authority. +</P> + +<P> +For the first time the girl seemed to get a glimpse of the tactful, +tender way in which she had been guided. She saw that this was the +first instance in which she had been put under definite restraint. +Always before Miss Blake had left her seemingly to decide for herself, +and she had never been aware of the influence that led her in the right +direction. +</P> + +<P> +But this was different. This was discipline, and she rose against it +instantly. +</P> + +<P> +If she did not go on the sleigh-ride she would only be obeying Miss +Blake's injunction. There was no credit or virtue in that. There +might be some satisfaction in denying one's self a pleasure if one felt +one were independent, and that what one did was self-abnegating and +laudable. But if one acted under compulsion—! Pooh! Nan guessed +Miss Blake thought she was a mere child to be ordered about like that. +</P> + +<P> +And yet, with all this, there was a strange unfamiliar tugging at her +heart to confess herself willing to obey. She actually had to make an +effort to keep from doing so. She scarcely knew how it happened, but +all at once she became conscious that she had shaken herself together +and that she was saying, in no very gracious voice to be sure, but +still that she was saying, "Well, if you will have it your own way, you +will I suppose. There! I promise you I won't go on the sleigh-ride. +Now, does that satisfy you?" +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake took her hand from Nan's hair so hastily that the girl +lifted her head in astonishment. But the governess had neither the air +of being angry nor of being wounded as she feared. She simply rose and +said in quite a matter-of-fact tone as she turned toward the door: +</P> + +<P> +"I demanded no promise of you, Nan, and I give you back your word. +Moreover, I entirely recall my injunction. Do as you please. If you +decide to go you will neither be disobeying my order nor breaking your +own promise. You are quite free and untrammeled, my dear." +</P> + +<P> +Nan sprang to her feet. +</P> + +<P> +"Huh!" she cried in an exasperated manner, "I know what you mean! You +mean I am quite free to go and—take the consequences. That's what you +mean." +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake paused but made no reply. +</P> + +<P> +"But suppose there aren't any consequences?" pursued Nan, biting her +lip and scowling darkly from between her knitted brows. +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake turned her head. +</P> + +<P> +"There are always consequences," she said over her shoulder in a voice +that was very low and serious. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap16"></A> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER XVI +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +THE SLEIGH-RIDE +</H3> + +<P> +The storm lasted for three days and then came a term of perfect +weather. Under foot the snow was packed hard and tight into a compact +mass over a bed of ice, and overhead the sun shone out from a cloudless +sky, while the air was so keen that it kept the mercury very close to +the zero mark even at midday. +</P> + +<P> +"How is this for high?" demanded Ruth exultantly, as she and Nan met +toward the end of the week, the first time they had seen each other +since that stormy day when the subject of the sleigh-ride had first +been broached to Miss Blake. +</P> + +<P> +"The weather, you mean? Oh, perfectly fine!" responded Nan. +</P> + +<P> +Ruth drew a step nearer to her. +</P> + +<P> +"It's all arranged for to-night. Not a soul has refused; every one +we've asked is going, and the sleigh is a regular old ark. We've got +everything our own way. Mike, from the stables, is as solid as a brick +wall. The horses are perfectly safe and we're going to have footstoves +to keep our toes warm. Mrs. Cole has telephoned down to Howe's to have +our supper ready, and we're going to have a simply stunning time." +</P> + +<P> +Nan tried to smile, but failed, and Ruth was too full of her own +affairs to notice. +</P> + +<P> +"We're going to start at eight sharp. First we thought we'd pick up +the party as we went along, but Mrs. Cole said it would waste too much +time, so we're all going to meet at her house. I've so much on my mind +my head's spinning. Be sure you're on hand at eight. We're not going +to wait for any one." +</P> + +<P> +"O Ruth!" faltered Nan, flinging out a detaining hand as the girl was +about to go. "I'm not going. Didn't I tell you?" +</P> + +<P> +Ruth stopped short and gazed at her in bewilderment. +</P> + +<P> +"Not going! What on earth do you mean?" +</P> + +<P> +"I can't go; that's all," stammered Nan, flushing hotly at the seeming +weakness of the confession. +</P> + +<P> +Ruth stared at her blankly. +</P> + +<P> +"Well, I like that!" she enunciated at length. +</P> + +<P> +"Why, I told you, didn't I?" asked Nan. +</P> + +<P> +"Told me what? That you weren't going? Well, I should say not. Miss +Blake said you couldn't but you said flat down you would, and, of +course, I believed you. Don't you remember the last words you said as +I went away that day were that I could count on you? And so, of +course, I counted." +</P> + +<P> +Nan stood and regarded the snow at her feet in silence. +</P> + +<P> +"It's right-down mean to back out at the last minute when the party's +all made up and the couples all arranged and you've given your word. +We've been awfully careful whom we've asked, because we only wanted a +certain kind—not alone a certain number. Of course, we could get lots +of girls to take your place and jump at the chance; but we prefer you, +and you'd given your promise." +</P> + +<P> +Nan ground the snow under her foot until it squeaked. +</P> + +<P> +"I thought you were sick, or something, when you didn't come around," +went on Ruth, sternly. "I never imagined for a minute it was because +you meant to flunk and leave us in the lurch like this. If I'd thought +that I wouldn't have gone to all the trouble I did to save you a place +next to John Gardiner when Mary Brewster was fighting tooth and nail to +get it." +</P> + +<P> +The pinched snow squeaked again under Nan's grinding heel, this time +louder than before. +</P> + +<P> +"It's all nonsense, Miss Blake's not wanting you to go," pursued Ruth. +"Everything is as proper as pie, and if the boys get to carrying on a +little too much Mrs. Cole will settle them in no time. She's real +determined when she makes up her mind. What under the sun does Miss +Blake think we are going to do? But that's no matter now. You gave me +your word, and you've no right to go back on it. Besides, it'll set us +all topsy-turvey with our accounts, for if you don't go of course you +won't turn in your share of the tax, and we couldn't ask any one at the +last minute just to come as a make-shift and expect her to pay for the +privilege. The end of it will be the rest of us will have to make it +up, and if you think that's fair I don't!" +</P> + +<P> +"I'll gladly pay my dues," returned Nan, more meekly than Ruth had ever +heard her speak. "You can ask any one you choose as my substitute, and +say anything you please to explain my not going, and I'll stand by you." +</P> + +<P> +This began to sound serious, and Ruth felt it was time to clinch her +argument. +</P> + +<P> +"If you go out Louie Hawes will, too. Her mother said she'd let Lu go +if Miss Blake would let you, but that if Miss Blake objected she +thought it would be best not to have Lu join. She said she made Lu's +going entirely conditional on yours. So, you see, if you back out +you'll not alone be breaking your promise, but you'll be breaking up +the party and making a mess of it all round. I told Mrs. Hawes you +were going, and Lu's heart is set on it. If she has to stay back now, +at the last minute like this, it will disappoint her dreadfully, and I +wouldn't blame her if she never spoke to you again." +</P> + +<P> +Nan felt that she had been driven into a corner, and that there was but +one way out of it. In spite of her strong desire to go with the girls, +she had determined to stick to her resolve to stay behind. She had +hardly known why she had tried to avoid them all these days. But now +she knew. It was because she was afraid they would shake her +resolution. Once she would have called herself cowardly for trying to +spare herself such temptation, but now she knew better; she saw she had +been simply wise. It would not have been brave, but merely reckless, +to have done otherwise. She had known ever since Miss Blake spoke that +she was free to do as she pleased. That she was held by no promise; +that she was compelled by no stronger claim than Miss Blake's +disapproval, which might be, after all, only a groundless personal +prejudice, she thought. She hardly realized why she felt bound to +obey. And now along came Ruth to prove that there were other claims +outside Miss Blake's. She remembered perfectly having said that Ruth +could count on her. Here was a very definite promise, although it had +been made in half-ignorance, and she understood clearly that Ruth meant +to make her keep it. Then, again, she was directly responsible for +Louie's disappointment, and this seemed to her, as Ruth had intended it +should seem, a compelling conclusion. If she had been older her +reasoning would not have stopped here, but, as it was, she perceived +only two sides to the question, and this that Ruth had just presented +seemed infinitely more convincing than the one Miss Blake had tried to +make clear to her. Ruth's logic she could understand; the governess' +seemed vague and incomprehensible. In one case she had been coerced +into making a promise from which she had later been absolved; in the +other she had given her word of her own free will, and she was being +stoutly held to it. There were other influences at work, but Nan did +not know it. She honestly believed she was waiving all considerations +but those with which her duty was concerned, and she thought she had +done so when she broke out with a sort of impatient groan: +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, dear! I never saw such a tangle!" +</P> + +<P> +"Well," returned Ruth grimly, "I don't know anything about that, but +whatever it may be, I've got the strong end of the line and I mean to +hold it. You've just got to go and that's all there is to it." +</P> + +<P> +Nan gave a rueful laugh. She more than half-liked to have Ruth leave +her no alternative. It somehow made her seem less responsible to +herself. If the decision were taken out of her hands she could not be +held accountable and—the enjoyment would be there all the same. +</P> + +<P> +"I wish you'd let me off, Ruth," she protested weakly, as a sort of +last sop to her conscience. +</P> + +<P> +Ruth saw that she had prevailed and gave her head a triumphant toss. +"Well, I won't, so there! And what's more I can't stand here wasting +time like this another minute. I have a hundred things to do before +eight o'clock, so good-bye! Be sure you're on time for we won't wait a +second, and if you don't arrive none of us will ever speak to you +again, so there!" +</P> + +<P> +Nan stood dumbly stubbing her toe into a little mound of snow quite a +minute after Ruth had left her. She had not even glanced up when, in +response to her friend's last declaration, she had said, "Very well; +I'll be on hand," and her voice had sounded so flat and lifeless that +Ruth thought it better to hasten off before the words could be +recalled. When Nan spoke in that half-hearted tone Ruth had no faith +in her strength of purpose. She walked home in a doubtful frame of +mind, wondering if, after all, the promise would be kept. +</P> + +<P> +But Nan had no such misgivings. She knew perfectly well that she was +"in for it" now, but, strange to say, she felt no exultation in the +prospect. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, dear!" she snapped out peevishly, with a last vicious dig of her +heel into the snow, "every bit of enjoyment is taken out of it, I never +saw anything so provoking, in the whole of my life. If Miss Blake only +hadn't been so mean, I might have been spared all this fret and bother +and been just as jolly as any of them. But how can a person have a +good time when they know there's some one at home pulling a long face +and making one feel as if one were breaking all the laws. It's just +too bad, that's what it is." +</P> + +<P> +But Miss Blake neither "pulled a long face" nor by any other means +tried to impress Nan with a sense of her disapproval. She took her +decision quietly, and made no comment upon it one way or the other. +But when it neared dressing time, and the girl had gone to her room to +prepare, she tapped gently for admittance and came in, bearing in her +hand a coquettish sealskin hood which she generously offered to Nan, +saying: +</P> + +<P> +"It's bitterly cold, and I know you won't want to tie a comforter about +your ears. If you will wear this I shall be only too happy to lend it +to you. See, the cape is so full and deep your chest and back can't +get chilled, and it is not at all clumsy, as so many of them are. Try +it on. I think it will be becoming and I know it will keep you warm." +</P> + +<P> +Nan was at a loss for words. Miss Blake had none of the air of heaping +coals of fire on her head, but just for a second the girl suspected her +of it and hung back reluctantly. Then she looked into the frank, +honest eyes and all her suspicion vanished. +</P> + +<P> +"You're—you're awfully kind," she stammered, hastily. +</P> + +<P> +"Try it on," repeated Miss Blake, cordially. +</P> + +<P> +Nan took the soft, warm thing by its rich brown ribbons and, setting it +snugly on her head, tied the strings into a big broad bow beneath her +chin. +</P> + +<P> +"It's not so unbecoming!" commented the governess, observing Nan +critically with her head on one side. +</P> + +<P> +Nan looked in the mirror. What she saw there was the reflection of a +flushed, excited face with keen, young eyes that were just now +unusually large and bright. Sundry riotous tendrils of hair had +escaped from their restraining combs and were flying loose at the +temples, and, framing all, was a circle of dusky, flattering fur which +lent a look of softness and roundness to the firm, square chin and rose +above the brow in a quaint, coquettish peak which was vastly graceful +and becoming. +</P> + +<P> +"O Miss Blake!" cried Nan, her eyes flashing with pleasure, "isn't it +the darlingest thing? And as warm as toast! I'll be ever and ever so +careful of it. You're awfully good to lend it to me. But I really +think I oughtn't to take it. Something might happen; it might get +lost." +</P> + +<P> +"Don't give it another thought," Miss Blake said, kindly. "Just wear +it and keep warm and comfortable. You must take the gloves, too. They +will keep your fingers cozy." +</P> + +<P> +So Nan set out looking like a young Russian in her borrowed furs and +feeling what satisfaction she might in the consciousness that she was +appearing, if not behaving, at her best. +</P> + +<P> +She found most of the party already assembled at Mrs. Cole's and as the +door was opened to her, a loud chorus of shouting laughter met her ears +and she was laid hold of by a dozen hands and dragged forward under the +gaslight. +</P> + +<P> +"Pooh!" shrieked the chorus again. "This one's easy enough! Nan +Cutler! first guess," and she was released as hurriedly as she had been +set upon, while the entire company fell upon a later comer and tried to +discover the identity of the muffled, veiled individual before she had +either spoken or recovered from the unexpected onslaught. +</P> + +<P> +"Well, Nan," cried Harley Morris, jovially, "you're the only girl who +isn't muffled out of all recognition. We've had a dandy time trying to +identify some of them." +</P> + +<P> +"I never saw you look so well," declared Louie Hawes, generously, with +her eyes glued to the fascinating peak. +</P> + +<P> +"Nor I," broke in Mary Brewster. "Really, I didn't know you at first. +That hood is as disguising to you as our veils are to us." +</P> + +<P> +Nan flushed, but made no response. Harley Morris gave a low whistle +and strolled off to join John Gardiner, who was standing before the +fire talking with grave-faced Mr. Cole, and as he went she heard him +murmur under his breath: +</P> + +<P> +"Sweet remark! Oh, these dear girl friends!" +</P> + +<P> +It instantly changed her feeling from momentary resentment toward Mary +to pity for her. +</P> + +<P> +All at once Mrs. Cole's shrill treble was heard high above the hum and +murmur of the other voices, crying: +</P> + +<P> +"Now, girls and boys, time's almost up! It any of the party's missing, +he or she will be left behind! Prompt's the word." +</P> + +<P> +Then, stepping over to her husband, she tapped him lightly on the +shoulder and said: +</P> + +<P> +"There now, Tom, I'm glad we're going, for you're looking as solemn as +an owl. Cheer up and have a lovely time with your book and that jolly +fire, and don't forget to go to bed at nine o'clock like a good little +boy." +</P> + +<P> +Mary Brewster laughed, and most of the others joined in her merriment. +But Mr. Cole looked so troubled and stern that Nan, who was gazing at +him from the corners of her eyes, saw no reason to laugh at his wife's +sally, but felt a much greater inclination to cry for pity of him and +his anxious face. +</P> + +<P> +Suddenly she was roused from her musing by John Gardiner's voice close +at her ear. +</P> + +<P> +"Nan!" he said. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, heyo, John!" +</P> + +<P> +"I want to tell you something," he went on, nervously, in a hesitating +whisper. "From the looks of her, Mrs. Cole means to carry things with +a high hand to-night. Hope we won't come to grief. Sometimes the +motto is 'everything goes,' and then it isn't so easy to hold back and +stand for the things you ought to. I depend on you, Nan, to keep a +level head, for some of us'll have to act as ballast or we'll all go +under." +</P> + +<P> +Nan's face glowed with gratification. "All right, John," she responded +staunchly, and then, Mrs. Cole giving the signal, in an instant the +roomful seemed to fling itself helter-skelter to the hall-door, +fastening boas and mufflers as it went, all eager and breathless to be +off. There was a deal of laughing and exclaiming, shrieking and +protesting as the girls were bundled, one after another, into the +sleigh. +</P> + +<P> +"Is this you, Lu?" +</P> + +<P> +"Yes. O dear! I have lost my veil. No, here it is, dragged under my +chin." +</P> + +<P> +"I thought I was to sit next to you, Nan!" +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, that's all right, Mary's there, and it's too late to change now. +No matter." +</P> + +<P> +John Gardiner leaped up. +</P> + +<P> +"I say there, Mike, hold your horses for a second. Would you mind +moving down a place, Mary? Thanks! Mrs. Cole said I was to sit next +to Nan, and as we are all under her orders to-night I'm bound to obey. +There! this is what I call festive! 'A thorn between two roses,' eh?" +and he settled himself comfortably between the two girls with a great, +hearty laugh and a final "Ready!" at which word the horses started into +a brisk trot. Their bells broke into a silver chime; the sleigh swept +smoothly over the glaze of snow, and the evening's fun began. +</P> + +<P> +Some one had brought a tin horn, and this was blown with such a vim +that conversation was impossible. But remarks and retorts were shouted +from one side to the other, and the tamest of them brought forth peals +of laughter. +</P> + +<P> +The heaven above them was densely black, and out of it flashed +innumerable stars like sparks white-hot and quivering with inward fire. +But the wind that swept across the sky was so cold that it made it seem +to contract and retreat and leave the shivering world an inconceivable +depth below. +</P> + +<P> +Swathed and bundled as they were, the girls very soon began to feel the +deadly chill in the icy air. +</P> + +<P> +"Nan's shivering like an ash-pan!" John cried out suddenly. "Has +anybody got an extra shawl or something they can lend her?" +</P> + +<P> +"Hush!" returned the girl, trying to control her trembling, "it's +nothing; I'm all right." +</P> + +<P> +"Pity she can't keep warm with John Gardiner beside her!" Mrs. Cole +suggested. +</P> + +<P> +In the shadow Nan's teeth came together with a snap of disgust. She +saw now what it was in Mrs. Cole that offended Miss Blake. She had +never noticed it before, but it had been there, and she knew it. John +made no retort, while the others laughed and applauded. +</P> + +<P> +"Here, Nan!" spoke up some one at the other end of the sleigh, "here's +a cigarette. Take it and warm yourself before its genial blaze," and +it was passed along from hand to hand, its ruddy point glinting out in +the shadow as it went along. When it came to Mary, instead of handing +it on at once, she held it a moment, then suddenly raised it to her +lips. +</P> + +<P> +"Hey, there! Turn off the draught!" cried its owner merrily at sight +of the newly-glowing tip. +</P> + +<P> +"Shut down the damper!" shouted some one else. +</P> + +<P> +"I dare you to smoke it!" laughed Mrs. Cole. +</P> + +<P> +Mary deliberately took a long puff. +</P> + +<P> +Nan leaned back behind John and laid her gloved hand impulsively on +Mary's shoulder. "O Mary!" she protested in a whisper. "Don't. +Please! It'll make you sick." +</P> + +<P> +But the girl was not to be thwarted. She shook off Nan's hand +impatiently. +</P> + +<P> +"Mind your own business!" she replied, and took another puff. +</P> + +<P> +On they swept through the icy air, across the snow-covered country, +amid the white night. The horn blew; the voices sang and shouted, and +finally the sleigh swung up before the hospitable road-house, where +every window was alight and their steaming supper awaited them. +</P> + +<P> +It was harder to get out of the sleigh than it had been to get in it, +for joints that at first had been limber and strong were now stiff and +cramped from cold and disuse, and the girls made a sorry show, limping +and halting from the sleigh to the house. When Nan first gained the +ground she could hardly stand, but a little vigorous exercise soon sent +the blood tingling through her veins again and unknotted her muscles, +and she was about to run gayly up the path when she felt a hand upon +her shoulder, and looking round saw Mary Brewster beside her, her face +ghastly and drawn in the pallid moonlight and her chin quivering weakly +in a manner that Nan saw at once was not the effect of the cold. +</P> + +<P> +"Lean on my shoulder and I'll get you up to the house in a jiff," she +said, in a low whisper. +</P> + +<P> +Mary clung to her, wavering and faint, without a word, and in the +confusion no one noticed her plight. Nan had fairly to drag her up the +steps, and then again up the staircase to the room the woman of the +place had showed them when Nan had drawn her aside and told her of +their dilemma. +</P> + +<P> +"It's the cold!" gasped Mary, crying abjectly between her spasms of +misery. +</P> + +<P> +"No such thing!" returned Nan stoutly. "It's that villainous +cigarette. But never mind now. There! Don't think of anything but +getting better. I'll stroke your head for you. It must be aching +terribly." +</P> + +<P> +So she soothed and comforted the girl as best she could, and the kind +mistress of the house came up every now and then with offers of help +and reports of how the supper was progressing below, and after a while +Mary grew quieter and could do something beside moan and cry and wring +her hands over her own wretchedness. +</P> + +<P> +"Nan," she whispered presently in a conscious-smitten voice, "I want +you to leave me and go down stairs. You've given up the best part of +the fun for me, but you shan't lose it all. Please go down!" +</P> + +<P> +Nan shook her head. "No, you don't, ma'am!" she declared cheerfully, +and Mary was too exhausted to argue the question. She felt deliciously +drowsy and the freedom from pain made her tearfully happy. Vague, +dreamy thoughts were wandering through her brain, and one of them was +that Nan had been very kind to her. She had not deserved it. She had +been mean to Nan. She admitted it. She ought to beg her forgiveness. +It was so good to be out of pain that she was willing to do anything to +prove her gratitude. She opened her eyes and saw Nan bending over her +with a face full of sympathy. She put up her hands and drew the face +down to hers, her lip trembling like a little child's. +</P> + +<P> +"Kiss me, Nan!" +</P> + +<P> +Nan kissed her. +</P> + +<P> +"I want you to forgive me. I've been hateful to you and you've been +generous and kind and—I love you for it. I'd like to be your +friend—if you'd let me, after the way I've treated you." +</P> + +<P> +Nan kissed her again. "Never mind that now. We'll begin all over, and +I guess I can behave a little better myself. Now go to sleep and get a +good nap before it's time to go home." +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap17"></A> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER XVII +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CONSEQUENCES +</H3> + +<P> +As soon as she saw that Mary had fallen soundly asleep Nan rose and +slipped noiselessly down stairs. She had no trouble in finding the +supper-room, for she had only to follow the echoing sounds to be led +directly to the door. She stood a moment on the threshold before she +laid her hand upon the knob. It seemed to her she had never heard such +a hub-bub, but as she listened she seemed to hear, over and above it +all, Miss Blake's soft voice saying quietly: +</P> + +<P> +"If you and the other girls have no more careful a chaperone than Mrs. +Cole, I am afraid your party will prove a rather uproarious one." +</P> + +<P> +"Rather uproarious!" Nan smiled, as she repeated the words to herself. +Then she turned the knob and pushed open the door. +</P> + +<P> +The clamor surged louder than ever, and for a second seemed almost to +stun her. Dishes were clattering, and every one seemed doing his or +her best to add to the tumult and confusion. No one noticed Nan +standing dumbly in the doorway, and it was only when some one's eye +fell upon her as she took a step or two forward that there was a cry of +"Hullo! Here's Nan!" and she was pulled to the table, forced into a +chair, and plied with all sorts of dishes and questions, until she put +her hands to her ears and begged for mercy. +</P> + +<P> +"Here's some salad! Take this!" +</P> + +<P> +"The jelly's most gone and what's left of it is melted. But you're +welcome to it such as it is and what there is of it." +</P> + +<P> +"Where have you been all this time?" +</P> + +<P> +"We've been calling you every sort of a name for being so rude as to +stay away from the supper." +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, Nan had her good reason," shouted Mrs. Cole, pushing back her +chair and springing to her feet. +</P> + +<P> +"Come, girls and boys!" she cried shrilly, "it's getting late. If we +want to dance we'd better be about it." +</P> + +<P> +Of course that led to a general uprising, and in a moment the whole +tableful was swarming toward the parlor. +</P> + +<P> +"How do you like it, Nan?" asked John Gardiner, quizzically, coming and +leaning toward her to whisper the question in her ear, as they stood at +one side waiting for the music to begin. +</P> + +<P> +"Like it!" repeated Nan, "I think Mrs. Cole's simply—well, I'm sorry +she was ever asked to come. It would all have been so different if we +had had Mrs. Andrews or Mrs. Hawes or—just imagine Miss Blake acting +as she has to-night!" +</P> + +<P> +"I can't imagine it!" returned John, emphatically, "and worse yet, Mike +is in no condition to drive us home. He's been drinking. I went out +to see if the horses were all right and being fed, you know, and there +I heard about it. Mike simply mustn't drive." +</P> + +<P> +Nan pressed her hands together and gave a stifled groan. +</P> + +<P> +"That's what I wanted to tell you," continued John, hurriedly. "It +isn't safe to let him try and I'm going to take his place myself. I +don't know how long I can stand it, for it's colder than ever and I +haven't any driving gloves, but I'll do the best I can and perhaps some +of the other fellows will lend a hand." +</P> + +<P> +Nan thought a minute. "I tell you what," she declared at last, "I'm +going to do part of the driving myself. I'll sit up front and when you +give out I'll lend a hand and we'll get through somehow. I've Miss +Blake's gloves and they are as warm as toast." +</P> + +<P> +The anxious look faded a little from John's face, and in spite of +himself he showed he was relieved. "I may not have to give up at all," +he said at length; "but if I do there's not a fellow in the whole lot +I'd rather trust the reins to than you. Come! They're making a move. +Get your things on as quick as you can and be where I can see you so we +can take our places without making too much talk." +</P> + +<P> +In a twinkling Nan had flown upstairs, roused Mary and helped her to +get ready and was hooded and cloaked and standing in the hall-way. The +others came up one by one and presently the big door was opened and +they trooped through it out into the waiting sleigh. John gave Nan a +hand and she sprang quickly to the place beside him on the driver's +seat. They started. +</P> + +<P> +It proved a very different matter sitting on that unsheltered box +facing the wind to cuddling, as they had done before, among the warm +straw with their faces shielded from the current by the high protecting +sides of the sleigh, and after a very little while Nan had to set her +teeth to keep from crying out for the pain in her stinging cheeks. +</P> + +<P> +Back of them the rest of the party shouted and tootled and yodeled as +cheerfully as ever. Every one wanted to know what had become of Mike, +and as nobody could tell but John and Nan, and they wouldn't, the +questions went unanswered, and by and by the subject was dropped and +only occasional spiteful jokes made by Mrs. Cole at the expense of +John's driving and Nan's sitting beside him while he did it. +</P> + +<P> +Happily the horses knew the way home and were eager to get there, so +they did not have to be urged or guided. But it was necessary to hold +a tight rein, and John's hands soon began to feel tortured and twisted +with the strain upon them biting through their numbness like screws of +pain. He shook his head determinedly when Nan offered to relieve him, +and at last she had to wrench the reins from him in order to take her +share of duty and give him a chance to recover a little. +</P> + +<P> +So, taking turns faithfully like good comrades, and exchanging never a +word, they got the sleigh and its load safely into town at last, and +not one of the gay, irresponsible party knew how difficult an +achievement it had been. +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake herself opened the door to Nan and let her in. One glance +at her, as she stood huddled and quivering with cold in the vestibule, +was enough. Not a question was asked. She was led gently into the +warm dining-room, her hood and cloak taken from her and her frozen +hands briskly chafed, while on Miss Blake's tea-stand stood her little +brass kettle, bubbling and purring merrily above its alcohol flame, and +hinting broadly at soothing cups of something "grateful and comforting." +</P> + +<P> +Nan let herself be waited upon in a sort of half dream. The agony in +her hands had been so great that it had taken all her strength to bear +it, and now it was going she felt weak and babyish. +</P> + +<P> +"O dear!" she broke down at last, with a gulp of relief. "It's been an +awful evening! Mrs. Cole was detestable. Do you know what she did?" +and then came out the whole story pell-mell: all told in Nan's blunt, +uncompromising way, and giving Miss Blake a better idea than anything +else could have done of just how right she had been in opposing the +girl's going under such chaperon age. +</P> + +<P> +She was too wise to say "I told you so," and she was too sincere to try +to gloss over the probable result of the episode. She looked grave and +thoughtful when Nan had finished her account, and her voice was very +serious as she said: +</P> + +<P> +"What the consequences to the others may be I don't know; I dread to +think. But I feel that at least you and John and Mary have seen things +as they are, and will profit by your experience. You remember the talk +we had at Mrs. Newton's before the holidays? She said 'Experience is +an expensive school, and only fools can afford to go to it,' or +something like that; you are no fool, Nan. I think you will see more +and more plainly, as time goes on, that there are some things that we +cannot afford to do. We cannot afford to buy a momentary pleasure at +the price of a lifetime of regret, and we cannot afford to spend even +one day of our life in unscrupulous company. It costs too much. We +think we have a very keen business sense, we men and women, but we +allow ourselves to be cheated every day we live in a way that would +disgust us if we were dealing in dollars and cents. Self-respect is +more valuable than momentary enjoyment, yet those boys and girls sold +one for the other to-night. +</P> + +<P> +"As for you, I think you made a good exchange, Nan, when you gave up +your supper for Mary's sake. Love is a reliable bank, dear, and you +can't make too many deposits in it. It always pays compound interest, +and the best of it is, it never fails." +</P> + +<P> +Nan's lips opened as if she were about to speak, but she closed them +again, and sat looking into the fire very seriously and silently for +some time. Then the lips parted again, and this time the words came, +though even now with an effort: +</P> + +<P> +"I guess you'll think it's no credit to me that I'm sorry I went. But +I am sorry, and I would be if it had been the best time in the world. +I didn't want to go, really, after you said you'd—rather I wouldn't. +I didn't, honestly. It won't do either of us any good for me to say +now that I wish I had done as you wanted me to. But I do wish it. +I've hated myself all along for acting as I did. Now don't let's say +anything more about it—but—but—I wanted you to know how I feel." +</P> + +<P> +There was an ominous catch in her voice that warned Miss Blake not to +pursue the subject. Nan could humble herself to apologize, but to +follow the abasement up by shedding tears on it was too much for her +dignity, and she fought against it stolidly. +</P> + +<P> +But the governess knew her well enough by this time to feel assured +that what she said was true, and she accepted the clumsy, halting +"amende" as gratefully as if it had been the most graceful of +acknowledgments. +</P> + +<P> +"Dear me," she broke in, in quite a matter-of-fact way. "Do you know +that the small hours are getting to be large hours, and we are sitting +here as unconcernedly as if it were just after dinner. Come, let us +both get upstairs and to bed as fast as our feet can carry us," and she +promptly set the example by extinguishing the lamp and helping Nan to +shoulder her armful of wraps. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, by the way," she said, as they readied the upper hall, and the +girl was about to make return of the hood, "you may keep it if you +will. Accept it and the gloves, with my love, as a sort of recompense +for what other things you have missed this evening." +</P> + +<P> +Nan was too overcome by the richness of the gift to make any response +at all for a moment. Then she blurted out awkwardly, though in a very +grateful voice: +</P> + +<P> +"You're so good to me it makes me—ashamed. You're always giving me +things. It isn't right. You give away everything you have." +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake lifted her chin and laughed gayly over the cleft in it. +</P> + +<P> +"No, I don't," she returned, tip-toeing to drop the gloves, like a +blessing, on the girl's head. "I have one or two things which I keep +all for myself. But if I like to give presents, do you know what it's +a sign of? It's a sign I'm poor. Poor people are always possessed by +a passion for giving presents. It's true! I've always noticed it! +Good-night!" +</P> + +<P> +And that was the last Nan heard about the affair from Miss Blake. +Unfortunately—or fortunately—it was not the last she heard of it from +others, by any means. It was a long, long time before it was allowed +to drop. +</P> + +<P> +In the first place, Michael was discharged from the stables, and this +led to a vast amount of discussion, for the poor fellow, who was +temperate by nature, was thrown out of employment in midwinter, and his +predicament seemed a pitiable one to those who really understood the +facts in the case. +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake, when she heard of the affair, had bidden John Gardiner +bring the man to her. She heard his story, and then sent him off with +a few kindly, encouraging words, and the poor fellow felt comforted in +spite of the facts that she had given him neither money nor any +definite promise of help. When he had gone she sat for some time +thinking busily, her chin in her palms and her elbows propped on the +desk in front of her. She was still for so long that John and Nan +stole off after a while and tried experiments with the kodak on some +back-yard views, and when they came back to Miss Blake's room to ask +her opinion on some point of focus they found the place deserted and +the governess gone. +</P> + +<P> +The next day Mike was discovered sitting smilingly enthroned in his +accustomed place on the lofty box of the livery "broom-carriage," and +he vouchsafed the information to congratulating friends that: "Ut's +another chanct Oi hav, though how Oi come boy ut ye'll niver know anny +moar than Oi do mesilf, for Misther Allen was that set agin me he +wuddn't hear a wurrud Oi'd sa'. But Oi have another chanct and ut's +mesilf 'll see till ut, ut lasts me me loife-toime." +</P> + +<P> +"O dear!" complained Ruth to Nan, "I never want to hear the name of +sleigh-ride again so long as I live. Everywhere I go, they say so +significantly: 'We hear you had a very gay time the other night! Well, +well! such things wouldn't have been tolerated when I was young!' and +then they make some cutting remark about Mrs. Cole, and I'm afraid it's +not going to be very pleasant for her after this, for none of our +fathers and mothers want to have anything more to do with her. They +say her example has been so bad. And one can't have a bit of fun +nowadays, for we're all being kept on short rations to pay up for the +other night." +</P> + +<P> +But as the weeks passed the gossip died away and then every one +breathed freer again. +</P> + +<P> +Latterly Nan was filling her part of the household contract with +considerably less ill-will than she had shown at the beginning, but +even now there were occasional lamentations when the day was especially +enticing, and her spirits rose and soared above the pettiness of +bed-making and the degradation of dusting. It took her about twice as +long to get through with her share of the work as it took Miss Blake, +and she could never console herself with the thought that it was +because the governess shirked. Occasionally she let her own tasks go +"with a lick and a promise," as Delia described it, bat when she saw +the thoroughness with which Miss Blake did even the least important +thing she had the grace to be ashamed and to determine on a better +course in the future. But before she really settled down to a stricter +habit of conscientiousness something happened that gave her more of an +impulse than a course of lectures would have done. +</P> + +<P> +The winter had been a long and unusually severe one, but by March it +seemed reasonable to suppose that its backbone was broken. Nan had +preferred the care of the conservatory to the duller and less +interesting work of dish-washing, and Miss Blake, in letting her take +her choice, had only exacted the promise that her charge was not to be +neglected. Nan had, as we know, given her hand upon it, and so the +matter stood. The governess never "nagged" her about her duties; she +took it for granted that the girl would honorably keep her word. +</P> + +<P> +And indeed for some time she was tolerably thorough, watering the +plants and loosening the soil about their roots; sponging the leaves of +the rubber trees and palms and picking off all the shriveled leaves and +faded petals from the flowering shrubs and keeping the temperature at +as nearly the right degree as was possible with such varying weather +and their simple device for heating the place. +</P> + +<P> +But she found it was much more of a tax than she had first supposed. +At the start plants had seemed so much more inviting than dishes that +she had appropriated the care of them at once, and now that she +discovered what her selection really involved she felt almost +aggrieved, and was inclined to be cross when she saw Miss Blake's tasks +finished for the day while her own was scarcely more than begun. +</P> + +<P> +"Provoking things!" she would declare as she dashed a double spray of +water on the rubber trees that did not need it, and gave but a mere +sprinkle to the blossoming azalias that did: "if I'd known what a +nuisance you were I can tell you I never would have taken you! Here! +will you come off, or won't you?" and she would give some wilted +blossom a vicious jerk that would set the entire plant shaking in its +pot as though it were trembling with distress at the rough treatment it +was receiving. If Miss Blake heard her she gave no sign. Sometimes +when they passed a florist's window she would stop and look wistfully +in at the bewildering display, and Nan would know that she was longing +to go in and buy some especially fascinating orchid or unusually rare +crysanthemum. But she would not yield to her impulse, for on one +occasion the girl had said with a shrug of impatience: +</P> + +<P> +"For goodness' sake don't get any more. It's all I can do to attend to +the bothersome things now. I wish they were all in Hong Kong—every +one of them." +</P> + +<A NAME="img-301"></A> +<CENTER> +<IMG CLASS="imgcenter" SRC="images/img-301.jpg" ALT=""Provoking things!"" BORDER="2" WIDTH="385" HEIGHT="579"> +<H3 CLASS="h3center" STYLE="width: 385px"> +"Provoking things!" +</H3> +</CENTER> + +<P> +So since then there had been no further additions to the conservatory, +and Miss Blake had to check her horticultural ardor or confine it to +her window-sill upstairs. +</P> + +<P> +But the plants throve in spite of their ungracious nursing, and when +she was not irritated by them Nan was very proud of the fine showing +they made. +</P> + +<P> +"I think that double, white azalia is one of most beautiful things I +ever saw: so pure and delicate!" said Mary Brewster to Miss Blake, +hanging over it in honest admiration one leaden-skied day when she come +to carry Nan off to her house to dinner and was waiting while the girl +went upstairs to get ready. +</P> + +<P> +"Yes," replied the governess, "I love it! But then, I love all the +dear things—even those poor woolly-leaved little primroses that have +almost less charm for me than any flowers I know. I'm so glad they are +all doing so well. I can't bear to bring a plant into the house and +then have it die. It seems almost like murder. But now I must run +away. I have an appointment with my dentist at three. It is very good +of you to ask Nan to dinner to-night, and I'm doubly glad it happens as +it does, for she would have to dine alone if she stayed at home, for I +have to go out of town on business and cannot get back tonight. Delia +will call for Nan at nine o'clock. Good-bye, and have a pleasant +evening!" and she caught up her satchel and was off in a twinkling. +</P> + +<P> +But after she had let herself out of the front door she came back and +called Nan to the head of the stairs. +</P> + +<P> +"It's bitterly cold," she said. "I had no idea it was so severe! Be +sure you wrap up warmly, Nan, and don't forget your gloves and leggings +when you come home. Oh, and the plants! You'll not fail to look after +them when you get in—the last thing before you go to bed? I think it +will freeze to-night, and they will need extra heat. Now, good-bye +again, and God bless you!" +</P> + +<P> +Nan waved her a vigorous adieu with the towel she held in her hand, and +this time the governess was off in earnest. +</P> + +<P> +The two girls followed her out not long after, and went laughing and +chatting down the street. +</P> + +<P> +"I've asked Grace and Lu and Ruth to come in after dinner, and we're +going to have a candy-pull. I didn't ask John, but I told him what was +up, and he said he and Harley and Everett had been wanting to call for +some time, and as I'd be sure to be in, he thought they might as well +do it to-night. I told him he'd have to 'call' loud, for we'd be in +the kitchen, and probably wouldn't hear him, and he said he'd see to it +that we did; so I suppose we'll have them too." +</P> + +<P> +Among them all it proved a gay evening, and seemed unusually so, for of +late jollifications had been rare. As Ruth said, "they were all kept +on short rations to pay up for the other night." +</P> + +<P> +It appeared to Nan when Delia arrived that she had made a mistake in +the hour, and had appeared at eight instead of nine; but as it happened +Delia purposely delayed in order that her girl might have an extra +sixty minutes, and when she pointed to the clock, whose short hand +pointed to ten, Nan could only shake her head, and say: "Well, I +suppose so—but it doesn't seem as if it could be." +</P> + +<P> +It was so cold that Delia had brought an additional wrap for her, and +the girl was glad to avail herself of it when she felt the nip of the +freezing air. +</P> + +<P> +"Why, it's much worse than it was this afternoon," she said. "If this +is spring, I'd just as lief have winter. I tell you what it is, Delia, +it won't take me long to tumble into bed. I'm frozen stiff already. I +hope you locked up before you came out, so all we'll have to do will be +to go upstairs. I hate to putter about in the cold." +</P> + +<P> +It seemed strange to go to bed without Miss Blake's cheery +"Good-night!" ringing in her ears. It was the first time the governess +had spent a night away from home since she first came to the house, +almost six months ago, and Nan devoutly hoped there wouldn't be a +repetition of the performance in another half-year. Her empty room +gave one "les homeseeks." +</P> + +<P> +In order to forget it and to escape the cold, Nan cut short her +preparations for the night and got into bed with as little delay as +possible. She cuddled comfortably between her smooth sheets and soft +blankets and in a moment was soundly asleep. +</P> + +<P> +When she waked the next morning it was with a vague feeling of +responsibility, as though she had gone to sleep with a weight of some +calamity on her heart. As she dressed she tried to recall it but there +was nothing in yesterday's experience to depress her and she ran down +to breakfast determined to shake off the haunting impression. But all +through the meal it clung to her and she could not get rid of it. To +be especially virtuous in Miss Blake's absence and show her that she +was "dependable," she took the dish-washing upon herself and got +through with it speedily. Then up to her room to set that in order, +and then down to the conservatory to attend to the plants. +</P> + +<P> +It was just as this juncture that Delia heard a wild cry of distress +ring through the house. She ran upstairs in a fright and found Nan +standing at the threshold of the conservatory door gazing in and +wringing her hands. The sight that met her eyes was a pitiful one. +There was not one plant among them all that had outlived the night. +The leaves of all were frozen black. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap18"></A> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER XVIII +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +"CHESTER NEWCOMB" +</H3> + +<P> +"Oh, do you think I could?" demanded Nan, eagerly. +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake considered a moment. "I don't see any reason why it might +not be arranged." +</P> + +<P> +"It's right by the sea and Ruth says they never fuss about clothes down +there. Just anything will do." +</P> + +<P> +The governess smiled. "Nevertheless I think you will need a couple of +changes. I have sometimes been asked to visit country houses where +'anything would do,' and I've generally found that it all depends on +what one understands by 'anything.'" +</P> + +<P> +"I can wear a shirt-waist in the morning and in the afternoon I can +wear a—a—another one," announced Nan. +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake laughed. "You poor child," she said, "I do believe you +haven't much beside for the summer." +</P> + +<P> +"You see," broke in Nan, shamefacedly, "Delia didn't know anything +about styles and I didn't—care, and so we sort of let clothes go. It +isn't because father wouldn't want me to have nice things." +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake took her up quickly. "I know it is not. And now we must +set to work at once to get you properly provided, for you are old +enough now to 'care,' not necessarily about styles, but certainly about +making a creditable appearance, and I want you to have a suitable +wardrobe so that you may always keep yourself tidy." +</P> + +<P> +It seemed to Nan that the wardrobe Miss Blake proceeded to provide for +her was something more than merely "tidy." The frocks were simple, it +is true, but very dainty and tasteful, and in her new interest in them +and the way they were made she quite forgot to complain at the extra +inch or two which the governess caused to be added to the length of the +skirts. +</P> + +<P> +There had been some stormy scenes when the winter dresses were being +made, Nan insisting that she would not wear "such horrid dangling +things that were forever getting in her way." She wanted her skirts +made short, and if she couldn't have her skirts made short, etc. +</P> + +<P> +The skirts had not been made short, and these were even longer. Clad +in them Nan looked very tall and womanly, and Delia realized for the +first time that her "baby" had ceased to be a little girl. +</P> + +<P> +So at last the preparations were completed and the girl started off to +spend a fortnight with Ruth at the Andrews' beautiful summer home by +the sea. Then came gay times. Early morning dips in the surf; +clam-bakes on the beach; long, lazy hours spent on the veranda, when +the day was too warm for exercise, and when it was cooler, fine spins +along the hard, white sand, for miles beside the shimmering sea. +</P> + +<P> +Nan grew as brown as an Indian, for she scorned shade-hats, and +oftenest had nothing on her head at all but her own thick thatch of +riotous brown hair. +</P> + +<P> +Ruth's brother taught Nan to swim, and she entered into it with so much +zest that to his surprise he found his only difficulty lay in trying to +restrain her. Nothing seemed to daunt her, and whatever any one else +did she immediately wanted to try. +</P> + +<P> +"The fact of the matter is," young Mr. Andrews declared one day, "you +ought to have been a boy. You'd make a capital fellow." +</P> + +<P> +"I know it," admitted Nan, frankly. "I love boys' sports and pranks, +and to think that all my life I've just got to 'sit on a cushion and +sew up a seam.' It's perfectly awful." +</P> + +<P> +"Fancy!" exclaimed Miss Webster, a fellow-guest, and a young lady whom, +by the way, Nan regarded with a good deal of disdain, because she +seemed what John Gardiner called "girly-girly," and was flirtatious. +"Fancy! Why, I wouldn't be a man for anything in the world! Just +think what hideous clothes they wear." +</P> + +<P> +"Thank you, Miss Webster," retorted Mr. Andrews with mock solemnity. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, I didn't mean you," she returned with an emphasis and a soft +glance of the eyes. "You really dress extremely well. I adore your +neck-ties and your boots are dreams." +</P> + +<P> +Helen Andrews tried to hide a scowl of irritation. Alice Webster was +her friend, and she disliked having her display herself in her worst +light. She knew her to be a warm-hearted, honorable girl whose gravest +fault, which, after all, might be only a foible, was her tendency to +turn coquettish when she was in the society of gentlemen. +</P> + +<P> +Ruth rose and beckoned Nan to follow her. +</P> + +<P> +"Isn't she a lunatic?" she demanded, as soon as they were out of +ear-shot. +</P> + +<P> +"Perfect idiot!" responded Nan. "I should think your brother would +just duck her in the water some fine day when she's making those +sheep's eyes at him. I would if I were in his place." +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, he doesn't care. He thinks she's lots of fun. Besides, he's +going away to-morrow, and won't see her again unless Helen makes her +stay longer." +</P> + +<P> +"What'll she do for some one to make eyes at?" +</P> + +<P> +"Don't know. Helen generally has a lot of company, but just now there +seems to be a famine in the land!" +</P> + +<P> +Suddenly Nan stood stock still. +</P> + +<P> +"What's the matter?" demanded Ruth. +</P> + +<P> +Nan waited a moment, and then bent over and whispered something in her +ear. +</P> + +<P> +"Magnificent! We'll do it!" cried Ruth, clapping her hands, and +breaking into a peal of laughter. +</P> + +<P> +"Not to-night—while your brother is here!" protested Nan. +</P> + +<P> +"Of course not. To-morrow though, sure. Carl will be gone and the +coast clear, and meanwhile we'll drill." +</P> + +<P> +For the remainder of the day the girls were absorbed in something which +took them to their room and kept them there, and they only appeared +when dinner was announced, and the family already seated at the table. +</P> + +<P> +"Well, Miss Nan," Carl Andrews exclaimed, "I wish you were a boy, and +I'd take you up into the mountains with me and teach you how to handle +a gun." +</P> + +<P> +"What fun!" cried Nan. +</P> + +<P> +"Yes, it would be great sport, and I warrant you'd like camp-life, too. +It's just the sort of thing that you'd enjoy. Only I'm afraid it would +agree with you so well that you would grow an inch a week, and +considering you are a girl you'd better not get any taller." +</P> + +<P> +"O dear! Don't say that," groaned Nan, "for I probably shall grow lots +more as it is. You see I'm not quite sixteen yet. Do people ever get +their growth before they are sixteen, Mrs. Andrews?" +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, sometimes," replied the lady kindly. "I scarcely think you will +grow any more, my dear. But I wouldn't worry about it in any case if I +were you." +</P> + +<P> +"But I don't want to tower over everybody," wailed the girl. "Just +think, I'm head and shoulders above Miss Blake now!" +</P> + +<P> +"But Miss Blake is a 'pocket Venus!' Just as high as one's heart," +said Carl Andrews. "I took her home the other night and she barely +reached to my shoulder." +</P> + +<P> +"Then you and Nan must be about the same height!" said Helen. +</P> + +<P> +Nan made a grimace. +</P> + +<P> +"Good rye grows high!" quoted Miss Webster, good-naturedly. And then +the elder Mr. Andrews, who was a little deaf, began to talk about the +crops, probably thinking they had been discussing grain, since he heard +the word "rye." +</P> + +<P> +Early the next morning Carl Andrews started off, and the family waved +him a vigorous good-bye from the veranda steps, and after he had gone +the different members of the household went about their own particular +business, and did not meet again until luncheon-time. +</P> + +<P> +It proved an unusually warm day, and when evening came the young people +were glad to sit quietly on the veranda in the dark and enjoy the +heartening breeze that swept up from the sea. Mr. and Mrs. Andrews had +gone, as was their custom, out driving immediately after dinner, and so +the four girls were left to themselves. They were just laughing over +Ruth's description of one of Nan's exploits when the maid appeared +bearing a letter on a salver. +</P> + +<P> +"For Miss Cutler," she said, and handed it to Nan. +</P> + +<P> +The girl excused herself and hastened indoors to read it. A moment +later she called to Ruth. +</P> + +<P> +"It may be news from home," surmised Helen. "I hope it's nothing +serious. Her father is away; has been for two years or more. I +believe they expect him home this fall," and then she and Alice fell to +talking of other things and Helen was just wishing Carl could see her +friend in this mood, and know how womanly and sensible she could be +when suddenly they both stopped talking at the sight of a man's figure +coming up the long pathway from the outer road. +</P> + +<P> +"Who can it be?" whispered Helen. +</P> + +<P> +"A tramp?" suggested Miss Webster. +</P> + +<P> +"No. A tramp wouldn't come straight up to the house. It must be a +caller; possibly a friend of Carl's," murmured Helen. +</P> + +<P> +The stranger came directly toward the veranda, but at the steps he +paused a moment as though embarrassed at sight of the two girls +unexpectedly rising to meet him from out of the shadow. +</P> + +<P> +"Is Mr. Andrews in?" he asked, in a low, shy voice, and Helen said she +was sorry, but neither her father nor brother were at home. To which +did he refer? +</P> + +<P> +"To Mr. Carl Andrews," and then it was explained that he and Mr. Carl +Andrews were great chums. They— +</P> + +<P> +"Won't you take a seat," asked Helen, hospitably, and he accepted at +once while she introduced Miss Webster and herself and he gave his name +as Chester Newcomb. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, yes; I've often heard Carl speak of you," declared Helen, and then +she had to excuse herself to answer Ruth who was calling to her +vociferously from upstairs. +</P> + +<P> +"I'm afraid Nan has had bad news," she said, anxiously. "Excuse me, +please. I'll go and see what she wants and be back directly." +</P> + +<P> +Mr. Newcomb and Miss Webster fell at once into an easy chat. That is, +Miss Webster did. She rattled on in her least attractive manner, and +became so absorbed that she only noticed how long Helen had been absent +when Mr. Newcomb rose to go and she had not yet returned. +</P> + +<P> +"Pray don't call her," he entreated. "She probably is very much +engaged. I—I am spending a couple of weeks here and shall be charmed +to come again if I may." +</P> + +<P> +Miss Webster could only in turn assure him that she—that Helen and she +would also be charmed, and then he bowed himself off, striding down the +path with a free, somewhat boyish swing, and disappearing at length in +the shadow of the shrubbery. +</P> + +<P> +He came frequently after that and the girls began to chaff Miss Webster +about her "conquest" for he never seemed to care to come when the rest +were about, but chose such times for his calls when he and Alice could +stroll in the garden after dusk or sit and watch the sea and the stars +from the shadow of the broad veranda. +</P> + +<P> +It was very romantic and Miss Webster wore a dreamy, rapt expression +nowadays that sent Nan and Ruth off into fits of laughter when they +were out of the range of her eyes and ears. +</P> + +<P> +"What a pity it is he can't be here to see?" gasped Ruth. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, he sees enough, never you fear," Nan assured her. "When one casts +sheep's eyes like that they hit even in the dark! Poor thing! She is +such a goose. Last night when he told her he was going to-morrow she +grew quite tragic and—" +</P> + +<P> +"O Nan! How could you listen?" cried Ruth in a shocked voice but +immediately after going into another spasm of laughter. +</P> + +<P> +"She quotes Shakespeare at him," gasped Nan, convulsed with mirth, and +not a bit abashed. "You ought to hear. It's rich!" +</P> + +<P> +"Well, we must see that the coast is clear to-night for I s'pose she +will be particularly touching, and Helen is getting awfully hard to +manage. It wouldn't do to interrupt them at the last minute just when +he was getting pathetic maybe. I wonder what he'll do?" +</P> + +<P> +"He'll be real dignified," declared Nan, solemnly. "You wait. He'll +be eloquent even if he is 'only a boy' as she says." +</P> + +<P> +So the two girls disappeared utterly after dinner, and when Mr. Newcomb +arrived he found Miss Webster quite alone, for Helen also was nowhere +to be seen. +</P> + +<P> +"She hasn't been very well lately," Miss Webster explained. "She looks +terribly pale and anxious and I'm afraid she has something on her mind. +Her headaches worry me!" and then she fell back into her poor, little +artificial manner again and sighed and looked sentimental and was +altogether "idiotic" as Nan would have said, and their two low-pitched +voices could be heard murmuring away in the stillness until poor Helen, +who was really half sick with a nervous headache upstairs, could have +cried with irritation and pain. +</P> + +<P> +She sat up on the bed when Ruth came into the room, and attacked her at +once. +</P> + +<P> +"I can't stand it another minute. It's driving me wild!" +</P> + +<P> +"Hush! It's only to-night. This is the last time. Don't make a +scene!" pleaded Ruth. +</P> + +<P> +"I'll never get over it," wailed Helen. "It simply is the most +detestable thing I ever knew. In our own house too! If this weren't +the last time I—" +</P> + +<P> +What she would do was never discovered for just at that moment a shrill +scream ran through the night, followed by the exclamation in a familiar +voice: +</P> + +<P> +"Great Scott! My wig!" +</P> + +<P> +And Ruth and Helen rushed below to find Miss Webster in a state of +collapse on one of the veranda settees and Nan standing over her, clad +in complete male attire, and fanning her frantically with a curly, +blonde wig which she wrenched by force from the trellis where it had +inadvertently caught. +</P> + +<P> +"I was just leaning back and being beautiful, and it got hooked on a +wire or something, and when I went to get up it stayed there and gave +me away!" she promptly explained. +</P> + +<P> +Then there was a scene. +</P> + +<P> +Miss Webster wept! Nan lamented! Ruth laughed, and Helen scolded, and +no one heard a word any one else was saying. +</P> + +<P> +But after a time every one grew calmer. +</P> + +<P> +"O Helen! I've made such a fool of myself," cried Alice abjectly. +"How can you ever respect me again?" +</P> + +<P> +"Respect you? Think of me!" sobbed Helen. "Can you ever forgive me +for knowing it all this time and letting it go on? Nan, you wretched +girl, come here this minute and beg Miss Webster's pardon. Ruth +Andrews, this is your work, Miss! See what you have done, and in your +own house, too!" +</P> + +<P> +But at this time Alice surprised them all. She put a gentle hand on +Helen's arm and said quite simply, and with a touching dignity: +</P> + +<P> +"Please don't ask anybody to beg my pardon. I deserved the lesson! +The girls needn't say a word. I—I—I am a goose, but I'll really try +to be better, and the kindest thing they can do is never to refer to it +again." +</P> + +<P> +The rare tears sprang to Nan's eyes, and she grasped Miss Webster's +hand in a grip that hurt. +</P> + +<P> +"You're downright fine!" she said, "and I'll never forget you as long +as I live." +</P> + +<P> +And then she had to beat a hasty retreat to escape Mr. Andrews and his +wife, who were just driving up to the door. +</P> + +<P> +But the secret leaked out, and she and Ruth were reprimanded sharply by +Mrs. Andrews who, for once in her life, turned severe and called them +sternly to account, and it was Alice Webster herself who interceded for +them, and begged that everything be forgiven and forgotten. +</P> + +<P> +They were her devoted slaves after that, and Nan, whose fortnight had +been extended, at the Andrews' request, to a month, took especial +delight in fetching and carrying for her to the close of her stay, and +in every possible manner making her feel how sincerely she regarded and +respected her. +</P> + +<P> +As for Miss Webster, she seemed like another girl. In fact, Carl +Andrews declared that he had never known what a "good sort" she was and +said he was mighty glad they had prevailed upon her to stay. +</P> + +<P> +He never knew why the mere mention of his friend, Chester Newcomb's +name should cause such a convulsion in the household, and when that +gentleman finally arrived, and the family met him for the first time, +it certainly seemed strange that they should all redden and stammer as +if they had been "awkward nursery children appearing at dinner." +</P> + +<P> +Nan especially could not be induced to have anything to say when he was +near, and when Carl discovered this he took a mischievous delight in +forcing her into his company and watching her try to "squirm" out of it +again. Miss Webster took pity on her and in the simplest, most natural +way came to her rescue whenever she was being victimized, and by and by +it became apparent even to Carl himself that "Ches and Miss Webster hit +it off first-rate." +</P> + +<P> +But at last Nan's visit really drew to a close, and, in spite of her +reluctance at leaving these good friends, she felt satisfied to go +home—she did not stop to ask herself why. +</P> + +<P> +Town seemed very stuffy and tame after the freedom of the country and +the sea, but when Miss Blake asked her if she would like to go away +again she replied: "Not alone," and then blushed shamefacedly and tried +to change the subject. +</P> + +<P> +While she was gone the governess had committed an extravagance. She +had bought a new bicycle. +</P> + +<P> +"What under the sun did you do that for?" demanded Nan. "Your other +was a beauty and as good as new." +</P> + +<P> +"But it wasn't new," suggested Miss Blake, lamely. +</P> + +<P> +"Pooh!" sniffed Nan. +</P> + +<P> +"I wanted this year's model." +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, very well! If you can be as particular as all that! How much did +they allow you on the other machine? I hope you made a good bargain," +said Nan. +</P> + +<P> +"I didn't let them have the other machine," hesitated Miss Blake. "It +didn't seem worth while. Besides I may want to use it myself +sometimes. Won't you come down and see the new one?" +</P> + +<P> +Of course Nan did not delay, and she went into raptures over the +beautiful wheel, praising it generously as she examined every point +with the eye of a connoisseur. +</P> + +<P> +"But it seems to me a pretty high frame!" she speculated, standing off +and taking it in from a distance. +</P> + +<P> +"I wanted a high frame," responded Miss Blake. +</P> + +<P> +"Seems to me pretty well up in the air for you, even with the saddle +down," insisted Nan, doubtfully. +</P> + +<P> +"You try it," suggested the governess. "If it suits you it will +certainly be too high for me." +</P> + +<P> +"It does suit me," announced Nan, balancing herself by a hand against +the wall. "You'd better send it back and get a lower frame." +</P> + +<P> +But Miss Blake shook her head. +</P> + +<P> +"No, I like this and I'm going to keep it. But of course if it is too +high I can't use it, and so—so—I'm afraid you'll have to, Nan. You +won't mind, will you? I mean getting your birthday present this way +ahead of time? I thought if we waited you'd lose the whole summer." +</P> + +<P> +Nan flung herself from the wheel in a rapture of surprise. It seemed +too good to be true. She could not believe it. Miss Blake had her +thanks more in the girl's radiant delight than in the mere words she +spoke, though these were genuine enough and full enough of gratitude. +</P> + +<P> +All through the long season after that, whenever the heat was not too +intense, Nan and her wheel could have been seen flashing through the +Park or taking a well-earned rest in the cool shadow of the Dairy +porch, where a sip of water seemed sweeter than ambrosia and a fugitive +breeze more aromatic than any zephyr from Araby the blest. +</P> + +<P> +Sometimes she and Miss Blake took longer trips into the country, and +then the governess had to be constant in her warnings to her against +her reckless fashion of riding. Again and again she spoke, and Nan +always meant to take heed and then always forgot, and fell back into +her old way once more. +</P> + +<P> +"I can't resist such a coast as that was," she would plead. "And if I +got off for every old man who thinks he has the right to the road I'd +be dismounting all the while." +</P> + +<P> +"I beg you not to take such risks," Miss Blake would rejoin. "It +simply spoils my ride for me, Nan, to see you so reckless. Such +head-long wheeling has nothing to recommend it. It is neither expert +nor admirable. When you fling along so blindly you are merely doing a +foolish, heedless thing and running serious risks. I am sure you will +come to grief some day." +</P> + +<P> +"Don't you worry! I am as much at home in my saddle as I would be in a +rocking-chair. See me ride without touching the handle-bars!" +</P> + +<P> +And presently she would lose all recollection of her good resolve, and +go hurling on at a break-neck speed in the van of some skittish horse, +or slowly zig-zag ahead in the path of some stolid coachman, causing +him to anathematize all wheelmen in general and this especially +provoking specimen in particular, while her watching companion held her +breath in trembling alarm. +</P> + +<P> +At last Miss Blake told Nan decidedly that unless she were willing to +ride properly she must give it up altogether. +</P> + +<P> +"I cannot stand this strain any longer," she said, in real distress. +</P> + +<P> +She and Mrs. Newton and the girl herself were taking their first ride +in company since the early summer. Now it was autumn, and the leaves +were turning. Mrs. Newton had just come back from the country, and Nan +was eager to display her skill, which she felt had improved not a +little since their neighbor's departure. +</P> + +<P> +The fresh wind, keen and bracing as it came from the sea, filled her +with a sense of new strength and energy, and she felt the effect of the +invigorating atmosphere in her blood. A scent of burning leaves was in +the air, and the indescribable suggestion of coming winter gayety. +To-day the road was crowded with carriages. They thronged the +fashionable drive, and lent it a peculiarly animated aspect. +Equestrians and wheelmen were also out in full force, and the presence +of so many people set Nan's blood tingling with excitement. She tossed +her head back, as the governess uttered her decision, with the +impatience of a mettlesome horse. +</P> + +<P> +"Now remember!" warned Miss Blake. +</P> + +<P> +Perhaps it was just this extra little warning that proved too much for +Nan's overcharged, headstrong spirit—or perhaps she did not hear in +the midst of the noise of hoofs and wheels about them. +</P> + +<P> +They were spinning noiselessly along the outer edge of the driveway +leading from the Park entrance to the cycle path, when suddenly Nan +gave a quick run forward and then made a swift dart for the other side, +weaving perilously in and out among the horses and moving vehicles, +dexterously dodging, veering, and turning until Miss Blake's heart +throbbed thickly from dread and her pulses beat heavily in her temples. +</P> + +<P> +"I must overtake her," she cried to her companion. "She will be +killed! I must save her!" +</P> + +<P> +Even as she spoke her breath caught in a short gasp, and she turned +suddenly rigid and ashen white. +</P> + +<P> +Coming up the road at full speed was a horse, whose driver, sitting +close over its haunches in his narrow sulky, was racing his animal +against one similarly driven and urging it on to its utmost pace for +winning honor. +</P> + +<P> +At his approach a clear path was made for him by the turning right and +left of the throng—by all save Nan. +</P> + +<P> +She heard a man's voice shout hoarsely to her. The oncoming horse had +the speed of a racer. +</P> + +<P> +A spirit of mad defiance possessed her. She steered straight as an +arrow before her. Then, like a flash, she veered, dodging from under +the horse's very nose. She had accomplished her feat very cleverly. +</P> + +<P> +But alas, for Nan! +</P> + +<P> +Even as she sped on, full of the exquisite thrill of exultation in her +own prowess she heard behind her the sound of a dull, fear-thickened +cry. Then a sudden confusion of voices and the cessation of rolling +wheels. She stopped and turned. +</P> + +<P> +The onward sweep of the mass of vehicles had been instantaneously +checked. The road was clear for some rods before her and in the centre +of this open space lay—a broken bicycle. +</P> + +<P> +A little group of men crowded close about some central object on the +ground. Women were wringing their hands and weeping hysterically, and +one woman—it was Mrs. Newton—was crying wildly, +</P> + +<P> +"Let me go to her! Let me go!" +</P> + +<P> +The circle of men upon the ground made way, and then Nan saw what it +was around which they knelt. +</P> + +<P> +She gave a quick, fierce cry of pain. The little governess lay quite +still and motionless. Her eyes were closed; her face was white as +marble. All her bright hair was lying loose about her temples—and it +was streaked with blood. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap19"></A> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER XIX +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +IN MISS BLAKE'S ROOM +</H3> + +<P> +Nan never forgot that scene. It seemed to her afterward, that even in +the midst of the horror that almost stupefied her and made her blind, +it had been indelibly photographed upon her brain to the merest detail +with torturing distinctness. +</P> + +<P> +She could see Mrs. Newton's drawn, livid face, and the stern, set +expression of the men who gathered about in knots here and there +discussing the accident in whispers, or arranging the best means of +getting back to town. A doctor, who happened to be near at hand, had +sprung forward at the first moment of alarm, and he and a strange, +kind-faced woman were together bending over the prostrate form between +them, while over all arched the high dome of the blue October sky, +beyond them stretched the level road, narrowing in the distance to a +point that seemed to pierce the sea, and on either side spread the +branches of bordering maple trees, each shining brilliant and gorgeous +In the autumn sunlight. +</P> + +<P> +Presently, in response to a demand from the doctor, a low-hung carriage +drew out from the ranks of waiting vehicles, and into it was lifted, +oh, so carefully! the inert form of the governess, and her head laid +upon Mrs. Newton's lap. +</P> + +<P> +Nan pressed close to the wheels. +</P> + +<P> +"Can't I go with her?" she whispered. +</P> + +<P> +Her companion gazed at her blankly for a moment. Then she seemed to +realize the question, and answered it. +</P> + +<P> +"No," she replied. "Get my machine, and—and hers, and see that some +one carries them back for us—some man will do it." +</P> + +<P> +Then without another word she turned her head away, and slowly, slowly +the carriage moved and began its snail's-pace journey townward. +</P> + +<P> +Nan looked helplessly about her. +</P> + +<P> +"Won't some one take the bicycles home?" she pleaded. +</P> + +<P> +She never knew who performed the office. She never cared. She gave +some stranger her address without the slightest interest as to whether +he was trustworthy or no, and then, mounting her own machine, she sped +home as fast as the wheels would turn. +</P> + +<P> +Thus it was that when the dreary little cavalcade reached home at last +everything was in readiness for its reception. +</P> + +<P> +There was no difficulty nor delay in getting upstairs, and in an +incredibly short time the place had assumed the air of hushed solemnity +that always seems to overhang the spot where illness is. +</P> + +<P> +Nan crouched outside the threshold of the sick-room and listened to the +low sounds within with a feeling of overwhelming guilt at her heart. +She dared not go in. +</P> + +<P> +At last the door was opened, and the physician stepped forward. He saw +Nan cowering in the gloom. +</P> + +<P> +"What is this?" he asked kindly. +</P> + +<P> +Nan dragged herself up painfully, as though her limbs had been made of +lead. +</P> + +<P> +"Have I—have I—killed her?" she managed to gasp. +</P> + +<P> +The doctor bent on her a pitying look. +</P> + +<P> +"Killed her?" he repeated. "I do not know what you mean. Do you mean +will she die? No, my child, not if we can help it—and God grant we +may. But it may be long, very long, before she is well. She has been +badly hurt, poor little soul!" +</P> + +<P> +Then followed a term of harrowing suspense. Nights when Nan thought +the sun had forgotten how to rise—so long they seemed and never ending. +</P> + +<P> +The fever that followed the first season of lethargy raged fierce and +hot for many a day, and the delirium that accompanied it was difficult +to quell. It seemed at times as though it must burn the patient's very +life away. It was during these days that Nan learned how much she had +caused her friend to suffer. What, in her moments of consciousness, +she had never permitted to pass her lips, now in these hours of +delirium she dwelt on and repeated over and over. It was of Nan, +always of Nan that she spoke. +</P> + +<P> +Nan must have this; Nan must not do that. It was her duty to protect +Nan and guard her. She followed the girl in perilous journeys; she +tried to guide her from dangerous courses. She betrayed her anxious +care for her in every word she uttered. And then sometimes she would +say something that Nan could not comprehend. +</P> + +<P> +"Florence's child!" she would murmur. "Florence's child!" and then she +would catch herself back with a sudden look of fear as though she had +betrayed a secret. +</P> + +<P> +"My mother's name was Florence," Nan would say brokenly. "But I don't +know what she means. She never knew my mother." +</P> + +<P> +At last came a change, and then Nan was excluded from the room. +</P> + +<P> +"You might excite her, and she must be carefully guarded against any +chance of that," the doctor said in explanation. +</P> + +<P> +But Nan was almost too happy to care. The first sound of the low, +sweet voice speaking intelligently sent a thrill of passionate +gratitude to her heart. +</P> + +<P> +How she and Delia plotted and planned for the invalid. How Nan made +the room to fairly blossom with the flowers that daily came pouring in +from all manner of strange and unexpected sources. +</P> + +<P> +"I never knew she had such lots of friends," the girl said one day to +Delia. +</P> + +<P> +The woman looked down at her with a flash of superior understanding in +her eyes. +</P> + +<P> +"She's a wise one," she said. "She goes her own way, and it's little +she asks of any one and it's less she says. But what she does ain't +little, I can tell you, Nan. I know of many a thing she's done for +those who, if they haven't got money, have the grateful hearts in them +to remember kindness and to love the one that shows it to them. Some +day you'll know her for what she is, and then you'll never strive +against her any more and you'll love her as many another has done +before you." +</P> + +<P> +The girl gazed straight into the woman's eyes. "I love her now, +Delia," she said. "I've loved her from the first minute—only I didn't +know it some of the time and the rest I was a horrid—little—beast, so +there!" +</P> + +<P> +Oh, the happy days that Nan spent in that quiet room above stairs. How +she grew to love it! The sunshine coming through the curtains and +making great patches of mellow light upon the floor seemed more bright +here than anywhere else. If it rained, this place was less dreary than +any other, and in sun or storm it was the only spot that Nan felt had +the power to quell her wayward mood when it rose against her will and +urged her back to her hoydenish exploits once more. +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake, lying back against her snowy pillows, had a look of such +inexpressible sweetness to Nan that often and often the girl would +fling herself beside the bed with her arms about the fragile figure, +crying: +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, you dear, you dear! how I love you!" and then the other, with a +very happy smile would invariably answer, "And I you, Nan." +</P> + +<P> +It was all understood between them now. Pardon had been humbly asked +and freely granted, and there was now only the remaining regret of +impending separation; the dread of the parting that was to come. +</P> + +<P> +At one time they had thought that it would occur within a few weeks' +time, and the joy that Nan felt in her father's return was overshadowed +by the grief she experienced in the coming loss of her friend. +</P> + +<P> +But now the date of Mr. Cutler's home-coming had been postponed. He +would leave Bombay as he had at first intended, but business would +detain him in London, and he could not expect to reach home until that +was completed—so Mr. Turner said. +</P> + +<P> +Thus Nan had to reconcile herself to her disappointment and the +indefiniteness of her father's return, in the thought that if her +meeting with him was deferred, why, so was her parting from Miss Blake. +</P> + +<P> +The weeks that passed before the governess was fairly convalescent had +brought them well into November. They had been busy, helpful weeks for +Nan. In her thought for her friend's comfort she had unconsciously +learned a lesson in gentleness and patience that nothing else could +have taught her. Her voice grew lower, her step lighter, and the touch +of her fingers more delicate. All this could never have been +accomplished in such a short space by ordinary means, but Love is a +magical teacher and he instructed her in his art. +</P> + +<P> +As the dear invalid grew stronger Nan tried to beguile the long hours +by reading aloud to her from her favorite authors, sage philosophers, +wise poets, and tender tale-tellers. Sometimes she did not at all +comprehend the meaning of the pages she read, but Miss Blake was always +ready to give her "a lift" over the hardest places, and to her surprise +she grew really to love these serious books, and to get an insight into +the beauty of their character. +</P> + +<P> +Once in awhile she would take up the daily paper to give her friend an +idea of "what was going on in the world," seriously reading discussions +about this "bill" or that "question" with absolutely no conception of +what the whole thing was about. +</P> + +<P> +One day, it was during the last of November, she sat before the fire in +the governess' room feeling especially contented and placidly happy. +Miss Blake, safely ensconced among her cushions, was cozily sipping a +cup of bouillon. +</P> + +<P> +The room was very still. +</P> + +<P> +Suddenly Nan jumped to her feet, and, clasping her hands high over her +head, said, with a luxurious sort of yawn: +</P> + +<P> +"Oh—my! How I'm liking it nowadays. Things are so sort of sweet and +cozy. Do you s'pose it's too good to last? Do you s'pose it has +anything to do with my trying to be good and not letting my 'angry +passions rise'?" +</P> + +<P> +The governess nodded her head, but made no other reply and after an +instant Nan slipped to the floor again, and, sitting Turk-fashion +beside her companion's knee, considered how possible it would have been +for Miss Blake to have taken that occasion to lecture her on the past +error of her ways. But she had learned that it was not the governess' +way to preach. That nod was as eloquent as a sermon to Nan, and she +understood it perfectly. +</P> + +<P> +"Shall I read you something from 'The Tribune'?" she asked, after a +moment's musing. And she took up the paper and began searching for the +editorial page. When she had found it she set about reading the first +leader that came to hand, quite regardless of whether it would prove +interesting to her auditor or not. The fact that it was unintelligible +to her seemed a sort of guarantee, in her mind, that it would be +interesting to Miss Blake. She read on and on until both her breath +and the column itself came to a stop. +</P> + +<P> +"You poor child," said the governess affectionately. "Don't read +another word of that. How stupid it must be for you. Here, take this +book of dear Mary Wilkins. We can both of us understand her, and she +will do us both good. You need not victimize yourself a moment longer, +dear Nannie." +</P> + +<P> +But Nan, radiant with good humor, felt a sort of glory in just such +self-victimizing. She searched through the page for further +unintelligible text. +</P> + +<P> +All at once she paused and read a few lines to herself. Then she burst +into a laugh. +</P> + +<P> +"Here's something about a man who has such a funny name. It's James +Murty, alias Dan Divver, alias Shaughnessy. What a last +name—Shaughnessy! And why was he called alias twice over, Miss Blake? +I didn't know one could have the same name more than once. It seems +awfully expensive—I mean extravagant." Miss Blake laughed. +</P> + +<P> +"You are thinking of Elias, Nan. This man's name is not Elias. Alias +is pronounced differently, and is not a name at all, but a word +signifying otherwise, or otherwise called. It means that the man has +gone under those different titles. And I don't think I care to hear +what it has to say about the gentleman, dear. He probably isn't just +the sort of person whose exploits would make fair reading." +</P> + +<P> +"Is he bad?" asked Nan. +</P> + +<P> +"I should gather, from his names, that his existence had been somewhat +checkered," replied the governess with a twinkle in her eye. +</P> + +<P> +"Is it wicked to go under other names than your own?" +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake flushed as she bent forward to place her empty cup upon the +table by her side. She was far from strong yet; the slightest exertion +brought the blood to her cheeks. +</P> + +<P> +"Not necessarily," she said. "But as a general rule people whose lives +have been simple and upright do not need to live under an assumed name. +Of course there might be exceptional cases—and there is a difference +between an alias and an incognito." +</P> + +<P> +"What's an incognito?" questioned Nan. +</P> + +<P> +"Why, if a person of rank or importance travels through a country and +wishes to escape publicity, he often does so incognito—that is, +unknown. He will drop his official title and take his family name or +part of his family name with a simple prefix. For instance, a king +might care to be known as the Duke of So-and-so; a Duke as Mr. ——, +whatever his surname chanced to be. That would not be wicked and it +would not be an alias. And sometimes people who are not nobles find it +desirable to remain unrecognized for a time. Take it for granted that +I was not, in reality, a governess at all; I mean that I was not forced +by circumstances to take such a position, but that I for some reason +chose to assume it. That I cared to come here and be with you because +I had known and loved your parents long ago and wished to do my best +for their child. Then suppose I did not care to disclose my identity +to—to—people because of—well, no matter—I simply came here giving +you but part of my name—not the whole, why it might not be a wise +course, but it certainly could not be called a wicked." +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, how I wish you had," cried Nan. "It would be splendid fun. Just +like a princess in disguise and things. Say you aren't a governess and +that your name isn't Blake. Oh, please do. It'll be just like +fairy-stories if you will." +</P> + +<P> +"How can I, dear, when I am and it is?" replied the governess, slowly. +"I am no princess in disguise, I assure you. I am simply a very +prosaic little woman and your devoted friend. I don't think I could +possibly discover anything at all resembling a fairy-tale in my life. +But some time, perhaps, when you are older, and when—I mean, if we +meet again, I will tell you all there is to tell about myself—that is, +if you care to listen. It will not be exciting—but you might care to +know it." +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, I would, I would!" the girl exclaimed heartily. "But I hate to +have you talk of 'if we meet again.' Why, we must, Miss Blake. Don't +you know I couldn't live and know I wasn't to see you any more? It's +like the most awful thing that could happen to have you go way at all, +and the only way I can bear it is thinking of how we'll see each other +often and often. Why, my father will be so thankful to you for taking +such care of me! I guess he won't know what to do. And when you see +him and find how good he is, you won't be afraid a bit. You'll just as +lief stay here as not. He's the best, the dearest—oh, you couldn't +help but like my father." +</P> + +<P> +A soft hand patted her head in loving appreciation, but not one word +said the governess, and the two sat together in silence for some time +thinking rather sober thoughts, until the sound of the door-bell broke +in upon the stillness and brought Nan to her feet and sent her flying +to the balusters to peep over and discover who the late caller might be. +</P> + +<P> +"It's Mr. Turner, and he asked for you," she said, coming back into the +room and bending to gather up the scattered news sheets that strewed +the floor. "He looked as solemn as an owl, and he asked for you in a +voice that made me feel ever so queer—it was so trembly." +</P> + +<P> +"He may be cold," suggested Miss Blake. +</P> + +<P> +She rose and settled the pillows upon the divan. She would have to +receive her guest up here. She was not yet permitted to venture below. +She and Nan stood ready to receive him as he entered the room, and +after the first greetings the girl was about to sit down beside her +friend when the lawyer said abruptly: +</P> + +<P> +"My dear, I must ask you to permit me to talk to Miss Blake alone +to-day. I have some private business to transact with her. You will +pardon me for asking you to leave us." +</P> + +<P> +Nan rose immediately with a smile of good-natured understanding, but as +she turned to leave the room she saw that the face of the governess was +deathly white, and she ran back to her, crying: +</P> + +<P> +"What is it; oh, what is it? Are you faint? Let me get you something." +</P> + +<P> +She was in a sudden bewilderment of alarm. Miss Blake gently put her +aside, saying calmly, +</P> + +<P> +"Why, nothing is the matter, Nan. Nothing at all, my dear. I am +strong and well now, you know. Quite strong and well. You must not +make Mr. Turner think I am ill, else he will go away again, and I shall +not know what he has to say to me. I am quite able to hear—whatever +it is. So go away, dear." +</P> + +<P> +The girl obeyed, and the next moment the door had closed behind her, +and only the sound of her voice from without, singing in happy +reassurance, broke the stillness of the room where the lawyer and the +governess stood facing each other silently. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap20"></A> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER XX +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +THROUGH DEEP WATERS +</H3> + +<P> +Mr. Turner was the first to speak. "Sit down," he said kindly. "You +must not stand." +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake sank into her place upon the divan, but she did not lean +back. She sat stiffly upright, nervously locking and unlocking her +fingers in her lap and compressing her lips tightly, but asking no +questions—saying no word. +</P> + +<P> +The lawyer drew a chair beside her and slowly, deliberately seated +himself in it. +</P> + +<P> +"You remember," he began at length, in a hesitating sort of way, "that +I told you some time ago that I had some reason to fear that affairs +were not prospering at Bombay. I wish to come to the point at once; to +spare you all suspense. I am afraid Mr. Cutler is in some serious +difficulty, and—" +</P> + +<P> +He paused. The governess leaned forward, and her breath came quickly. +</P> + +<P> +"Go on," she whispered. +</P> + +<P> +"For some time past his letters have been most unsatisfactory. He has +seemed depressed and discouraged. What word I have received from him +during the past few months has been of such a character as to lead one +to form the gravest suspicions. His letters have been short and +hurried—written, evidently, under great mental strain. And latterly +they have ceased altogether. For the last two months, ever since you +have been ill, I have heard literally nothing from him. His plan was +to leave Bombay in September. That he kept to his original purpose I +have no reason to doubt. He was on the steamer, or, at least, his name +was on its passenger list. Of course while you were so ill I could say +nothing to you of this—besides I had only my suspicions then. But as +time passed, and no communication from him reached me I grew +apprehensive. Within the last two weeks I have sent numberless +dispatches to him to his London address, but not one of them has +received a reply—in fact, no one of them has been delivered to him. +The people there do not know where he is. I have cabled to Bombay, +thinking he might have been detained there unexpectedly, but that, too, +has proved of no avail. The Bombay house know nothing of his +whereabouts. He left them as he intended to do in September, and since +then they have heard from him as little as I." +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake's eager eyes seemed to search the lawyer through and +through. He shifted uneasily in his place. +</P> + +<P> +"It is very difficult to go on," he said, with a nervous, constrained +cough. +</P> + +<P> +"Quick! Quick!" whispered the governess. "Tell me everything +now—this minute. Tell me! Tell me!" +</P> + +<P> +"There is little more to tell," said Mr. Turner sadly. "This afternoon +I received a wire from his London banker, and it seems—that—he, +William Cutler, is—is—dead." +</P> + +<P> +There was a low cry. Miss Blake had leaped to her feet at his words, +and now she was swaying forward as though too faint to stand. The +lawyer sprang forward to save her from falling, but she pushed him away +with both hands almost savagely. +</P> + +<P> +"No, no!" she gasped. "I am strong. I am strong. But—God pity us! +My poor little Nan—and—oh, my poor little Nan!" +</P> + +<P> +She sank back upon the divan and buried her face in her outstretched +arms. +</P> + +<P> +The lawyer rose and went to the window. +</P> + +<P> +Outside the wind blew drearily. The bare trees showed but dimly +through the gathering dusk. It was a bleak, cold outlook. Presently +down the street came a man with a lighted torch and set the gas-flames +to flickering in every lamp along his way. +</P> + +<P> +Mr. Turner watched him until he had passed out of sight—then he turned +about and came back to the sofa once more. +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake had raised her head and sat staring blankly before her, +dry-eyed, but with an expression far sadder than tears; the dull, +lifeless look of helpless misery that has not yet been touched with +submission. +</P> + +<P> +"Shall I leave you now?" asked the lawyer softly. "Perhaps you would +rather be alone. I can come again—whenever you wish. Perhaps it +would be better for me to come again when you are stronger—better able +to bear it." +</P> + +<P> +She turned her large eyes upon him in a sort of mute supplication. All +the light had gone out of them now. Mr. Turner reseated himself and +continued: +</P> + +<P> +"He died in a hospital in London of a malignant fever. No one saw him. +He was buried within twenty-four hours, I presume according to the law +in such cases. Of course, I have no particulars, only the barest +outline of facts. Undoubtedly I shall receive a letter by the next +steamer, giving details. It is all desperately sad—heart-breakingly +sad. Poor fellow! So young and to die alone among strangers." +</P> + +<P> +Miss Blake stretched out her hands supplicatingly. +</P> + +<P> +"Don't," she pleaded. +</P> + +<P> +"Shall I tell Nan?" Mr. Turner asked after a moment. "Perhaps it would +be better if I should. You have undergone enough." +</P> + +<P> +"No, no!" she cried. "No one must tell her but myself. But first I +must talk to you about—about—you know when I came here I had reasons +for wishing her not to know who I was. Now I will tell her. There is +no more need to withhold anything. Delia always knew—from the +first—but she never told Nan and she never would have told. But that +is all over now. There is no need for secrecy any more. And I will +stay with her. I will keep her with me always. She has no one else +now, and I—I—I am free to do as I please. If—if he has left her +unprovided for, why, that shall make no difference to her. I have +plenty and she shall share it with me. She shall never feel the care +or want of anything that I can supply. Ah, Mr. Turner, I am glad I +came. It has been hard, but I am glad I came." +</P> + +<P> +She broke down completely. Her frail figure shook with shuddering sobs. +</P> + +<P> +But she was not a woman to give way long, and in a moment she regained +her self-control. +</P> + +<P> +"I must have time to think," she said. "Everything seems so changed +and strange. I scarcely know where I stand. The suddenness of it has +been so horrible. I suppose he must have been ill for a long time—too +ill to write. And by and by when they took him to the hospital he must +have been unconscious, and so they could not communicate with his +friends. That would account for it all, his not writing nor receiving +the dispatches—and his friends not knowing where he was." +</P> + +<P> +Mr. Turner nodded. Then he rose. +</P> + +<P> +"I will leave you now," he said. "You are completely worn out. If you +will take my advice you will defer telling Nan until tomorrow. I fear +the strain will prove too great for you." +</P> + +<P> +She smiled faintly. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, no," she replied. "I am stronger than you think. But the child +shall not be told tonight. I will leave her in peace for one night +longer. I will let her get one more good night's rest. Then +to-morrow, when she is refreshed and strengthened by her sleep she can +learn it all." +</P> + +<P> +The lawyer held out his hand. "This has been one of the hardest trials +of my life," he said. "But you have helped me by your bravery and +fortitude. I thank you from my heart. Good night!" and in a moment he +was gone. +</P> + +<P> +That evening Miss Blake bade Delia take Nan to the Andrews'. She wrote +a short note to Ruth's mother in which she begged her to keep the girl +through the evening and make her as happy as she could. She briefly +stated the reason for her request. +</P> + +<P> +Nan knew that something was being kept from her but she never suspected +what. She fancied it must be connected with Miss Blake's private +affairs, and she asked no questions. When she reached the Andrews' her +exuberant spirits reasserted themselves and she spent a gay evening +with Ruth, Mrs. Andrews leading in the fun and seeing that no one +passed a dull moment. They played all sorts of games, and then finally +Bridget appeared with the crowning delight, a tray upon which a +tempting array of good things was set forth. How Nan enjoyed it! She +often thought afterward what a happy evening it was. At ten o'clock +Delia called for her and she went home through the still night, +thinking all sorts of merry thoughts. Miss Blake listened with +apparent interest to her description of her evening's jollification, +and when she had finished gave her an especially tender good-night +kiss, saying: +</P> + +<P> +"God bless you, my Nan. Sleep well, dear, and let us both pray for +strength to bear God's will." +</P> + +<P> +The next morning after breakfast Nan discovered why Miss Blake had bade +her especially to pray for strength. +</P> + +<P> +Poor child! She felt so utterly weak and helpless in her misery. At +first she could scarcely realize what had befallen her and she kept +insisting, "It isn't my father that has died. It is some one else. +How can I feel that he isn't alive? He can't be dead! He isn't! He +isn't! Why, only yesterday I was expecting he would soon be home. +It's some other man who hasn't got a daughter that loves him so." +</P> + +<P> +But by and by she grew desperate in her wretchedness and then it took +all Miss Blake's influence to restrain her from really wearing herself +out in the abandon of her grief. +</P> + +<P> +But by evening the house was quiet. Nan's loud sobbing had ceased and +she lay quite still and exhausted, stretched upon the divan in Miss +Blake's room, with her throbbing head in the governess' lap. A tender +hand stroked her disheveled hair, a tender voice spoke words of comfort +to her, and she was soothed and solaced by both. +</P> + +<P> +"Shall I tell you a story, Nan?" asked Miss Blake at length. +</P> + +<P> +The girl gave a silent nod of assent. +</P> + +<P> +"Well, once upon a time," began the governess in a gentle monotone, +"there lived two girls and they were friends. They loved each other +dearly. One was tall and fair and beautiful, and the other was small +and dark, and if people ever thought her even pretty it was because +love lighted their kind eyes and made it seem that what they looked +upon was sweet. +</P> + +<P> +"The first girl had father and mother and a happy home. The second was +an orphan, having nothing to remind her of the parents she had lost +when she was a baby but the fortune they had left her. She never knew +what love meant until she met her beautiful friend. Then she learned. +Oh, how those two girls loved each other! When Florence, the beautiful +one, found that Isabel had no home she pleaded with her parents to take +her into theirs, and they not only took her to their home but to their +hearts as well. And so she and her dear friend grew up together like +sisters, and the little lonely girl was not lonely any more, but very, +very happy among those she loved. Well, time went on, and by and by +when the two girls had become quite young women, the first more +beautiful than ever, the other a little less plain, maybe, something +happened that, in the end, caused them to be separated forever. +</P> + +<P> +"God sent into their lives the self-same experience and into their +hearts the self-same thought. It was a beautiful experience and a +beautiful thought, but if it was to mean happiness for one, it must be +at the cost of grief to the other. Perhaps it was because they both +knew this that neither of them told her secret. But presently it was +decided which was to have the happiness. It came to the one who +expected it least—who had the least right to expect it. It came to +Isabel, and for a moment she thought she might accept it. But it was +only for a moment. Then she knew that she must relinquish it. It +would have been base, would it not, my Nan, to have defrauded the +friend who had done so much for her? And so she, Isabel, left the +house that had been her home for so many years, and quite solitary and +alone sailed across the sea to the other side of the world, and there +she stayed for—well, over a dozen years, my dear. +</P> + +<P> +"It was soon after she went away that your mother—I mean Florence—was +married. Isabel heard of it and was glad. And later, when she learned +that a dear little daughter had been born to Florence, she was happier +still. But then came sad news. Oh, such sad news! The beautiful +young mother died, died and left her little baby girl behind her with +only the poor father to take care of it. +</P> + +<P> +"Then, after that, Isabel heard nothing more for a long, long time, for +Florence's good parents were dead and her husband and Isabel +were—well, not at enmity, Nan, but not at peace together. It was all +owing to a misunderstanding, but that did not alter it. They were not +friends and Isabel was too proud to write and ask him whether all went +well with him and the little daughter or whether she might perhaps help +to care for the child. And so years passed and then one day Isabel +felt that she could remain away from America no longer. All the time +there had been a great longing in her heart to return, but she had +tried to smother it and tell herself that she had no Fatherland; that +America was no more to her than any of the strange countries she had +lived in; that her acquaintances abroad were as much to her as her +friends at home. But, as I say, by and by she could resist her desire +no longer, and so one day she set sail for America—I think it must +have been after she had been absent for quite fourteen years—and oh! +how her heart beat when she saw the dear land once more. Well, I must +make my story short, Nan, so I will not tell you how it came about that +she first heard that Florence's little daughter had grown into a tall +girl; that she was living in the old house where Isabel had spent so +many happy years; that her father had gone to some far Eastern country +and left her in the charge of a faithful servant of her mother's who +had loved them all in days gone by. But she learned all this and more +beside and then something told her that it was her duty to go to +Florence's child and care for her and show her as well as she might how +to be a noble, true, and lovely woman, as her mother had been before +her. So she went to the little girl as governess and at first the +child was opposed to her, but by and by she—I really think she grew to +love her almost as much as the governess loved the child. And all this +time the father never knew who was caring for his girl because in the +letters that went to him the governess was spoken of by but part of her +name. She chose to live incognito, you know what that is, Nan, because +she feared if he knew who was serving his child as governess he would +write to her in his proud fashion and say: +</P> + +<P> +"No; I need no one to care for my daughter for love. Whomever I employ +I will pay. You are a wealthy woman. You need not work for money. My +few poor dollars are nothing to you. Besides—" +</P> + +<P> +"And then I think, Nan, he would have referred to the old disagreement +and it would all have been very painful, and she would have had to go +away and been lonely ever after and have left undone her duty to +Florence's child. So she lived quietly in the old house with the +little girl and the servant and all went well for a year and +then—well, then, dear Nan, I think I need not tell what happened then. +But, oh, my dear, you are my own little girl—Florence's child and I +loved her, ah! I loved her so. For her sake you are mine now. Never +say that you are 'all alone' again. I have taken you as a sacred +trust. Come to me, Nan, for I am lonely too, I am lonely too." +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap21"></A> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER XXI +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +ANOTHER CHRISTMAS +</H3> + +<P> +It was Christmas eve. Nan was sitting before the dining-room fire +curled up in a huge arm chair thinking. Her pale face had grown +wonderfully sweet during the last few weeks; the curves about her mouth +had softened; her eyes had lost their keen sparkle and gained a softer +light instead. She seemed to have undergone a complete transformation, +and any one seeing the headstrong hoyden of the year before would have +found it difficult to recognize her in this gentle-mannered girl with +her serene brow and patient eyes, to whom suffering had taught so hard +a lesson. Her black dress and her parted hair gave her a wonderfully +meek look. But Nan was not meek. She was merely controlled. The same +hot passions still rose in her breast, but she tried to restrain them +now. +</P> + +<P> +This evening she was thinking over all that had happened during the +past year; especially she was trying to project her thoughts into the +future, and to imagine what would occur in the years to come. She had +not yet become accustomed to the idea of life without her father. It +seemed to her that he must be alive, and she often waked up in the +night from such a vivid dream of him that it seemed as though he really +stood beside her, and that she might feel his hand if she stretched +forth her own in the dark. It was difficult to reconcile herself to +living without the hope of his return; it was hard to convince herself +that she must never look forward to receiving a letter from him again. +But she knew it must be accomplished, and the effort would help to make +a noble woman of her. +</P> + +<P> +As she sat there in the dim room, with only the fire to light it, she +wondered whether anything could make of her as noble a woman as was her +"Aunt Isabel." In her heart she felt not. Aunt Isabel was simply +perfect in the girl's sight, and if she could ever have been brought to +doubt her perfection, why, there was Delia to prove it with her +emphatic: +</P> + +<P> +"No, ma'am! There ain't no one in this world like her. She is the +best, the generousest, the most self-sacrificin' soul on earth—that +she is, and I've known her ever since she was a child. If any one was +to ask me the name of the woman I've most call to honor an' love, I'd +say 'twas Isabel Blake Severance an' never stop a minute to think it +over." +</P> + +<P> +And both Nan and Delia had long ago decided that while other women +might be more beautiful, no one could have softer, sunnier hair than +Aunt Isabel, nor truer, tenderer eyes, nor a prettier nose nor a +sweeter mouth. And Nan was quite confident that if one hunted the +whole globe over one could not find dimples more entirely winning nor +hands whose touch was so absolutely soothing and soft. +</P> + +<P> +But Miss Severance could never be brought to admit these important +facts, though Nan often sought to convince her of their truth. She was +too busy a woman to have time to think whether she were beautiful or +not. +</P> + +<P> +"Good is the thing," she would say, in her brisk fashion. "If I can +look in the glass and see the reflection of a good woman there, I have +no right to regret that she is not a beautiful one." +</P> + +<P> +Just now she was upstairs, busied with some matter of mysterious +importance from which Nan was excluded. She and Delia had been shut +into her room all the afternoon. Nan had ample time and opportunity +for the manufacture of her own Christmas gifts, Aunt Isabel being so +much occupied, behind closed door, with hers. +</P> + +<P> +For quite a time now Nan had been forced to station herself in the +regions below stairs, where she would hear the bell if it rang, so that +Delia might be free to give all her attention to Miss Severance. +Evidently great things were in operation above. Nan wondered what it +could all be about. +</P> + +<P> +Christmas had lost much of its joyousness this year, but still there +was a little flavor of merriment left. Aunt Isabel had no sympathy +with the hark-from-the-tombs-a-doleful-sound attitude. She thought it +was one's duty to be as cheery and hopeful as possible, and not to add +to the misery of the world at large by forcing it to witness one's +private grief. She and Nan had their hours of tender mourning and +sincere regret, but it was always Miss Severance's desire that no +unwholesome brooding should be indulged in by either of them. +</P> + +<P> +So the girl tried to restrain the tears that would rise at the thought +of these saddened holidays, and endeavored to bring her mind to bear on +more happy subjects. She thought of her plans for the next day; she +made a mental recount of the gifts she had prepared, and then, somehow +against her will, her memory took her back to that morning when she had +heard of her father's death and listened to Miss Severance's story, and +she lived over again those intense moments when it almost seemed to her +her mother had been restored to her in this rare friend. The simple +history had a peculiar fascination for the girl, and she liked to think +that it was here, in these very rooms, that it all had been enacted. +</P> + +<P> +She liked to look into those books of Miss Severance's that had her +mother's name upon the fly-leaf, and she liked to think that they were +given to "Bell with Florence's fond love." +</P> + +<P> +Miss Severance had several photographs of her mother as a girl that Nan +had never seen, and she was fond of looking them over and exclaiming at +the "old-fashioned" frocks and quaintly arranged hair, and wondering +whether this happy-looking girl ever discovered the sacrifice her +friend had made for her. +</P> + +<P> +One day Nan asked Miss Severance as much, but Aunt Isabel had shaken +her head gravely and said: +</P> + +<P> +"No, Nan, she never did. And don't think of that part of the story, my +dear. It was no more than I ought to have done. You must not make a +piece of heroism of it. I only told it to you because unless I had, it +would have been difficult to explain why I left her and went so far +away." +</P> + +<P> +"Aunt Isabel," Nan said, "won't you tell me just what it was you gave +up?" But Miss Severance shook her head. +</P> + +<P> +What the girl could not at all comprehend was the fact of any one's +being "not at peace" with Aunt Isabel. Aunt Isabel, who never was +unjust nor unkind, nor anything but generous and good to every one. +She thought if she could have spoken to her father she could have +convinced him that he was mistaken about Aunt Isabel. But that was +impossible now. Her father—again the hot tears came surging up, and +her breast began to heave. +</P> + +<P> +Suddenly she started. What was that? She jumped to her feet. +Somebody was turning the knob of the street door and fitting a key in +the lock. At first it was her impulse to cry out, but she mastered +herself and ran quickly through the parlor and stood bravely on the +threshold waiting for the door to open and admit the intruder. Her +heart beat like a trip-hammer in her side, and the pulses in her wrists +and temples throbbed painfully. She saw the door move inward, she felt +the rush of cold outer air upon her face, and then— +</P> + +<P> +In a moment she was locked in two strong arms, her head was pressed +against a dear, broad chest, and she was crying "Father! Father!" in a +perfect ecstasy of rapture and a tempest of tears. +</P> + +<P> +For a few moments neither of them said a single word. They just clung +to each other and wept—the strong man as well as the slender girl. +</P> + +<P> +They seemed to lose all other thought in the joy of the meeting. Then +somehow they found themselves in the library, and Nan, still sobbing +for very happiness, was listening to her father as he told her how, for +many months, he had been ill, but had tried to fight it off and +overcome it, because he was so anxious to get home, and he could not +bear to think he might be prevented. Then, just before his ship +sailed, and after he had enrolled himself among the list of passengers, +and bidden good-bye to those he knew, he was stricken down and for +weeks lay unconscious, between life and death, as utterly unbefriended +as though he had been in the midst of a wilderness. How he came to +recover he never knew, but it seemed as though his great longing for +home gave him strength to battle through the dreadful fever. Then, +almost too feeble to stand, he was taken to the ship and borne to +England, his body weak from suffering, but his heart strong with hope. +</P> + +<P> +The voyage was a severe one, and before he reached London he had a +relapse, so that when they entered port he had to be carried ashore, +and, too ill to know or care what happened to him, was taken to a +lodging-house and nursed back to health once more by the keeper +herself, whose son was the steward of the ship on which he had crossed. +</P> + +<P> +"You can fancy, Nannie, that I had only one thought all that time—to +get back to you. The first move I was able to make was to the ship, +and I sailed without having seen or spoken to a soul I knew in London. +Then on board I met a friend, who told me of the report of my death, +and I knew that you must have heard it. The people at the bank would +communicate with Turner, I felt sure. Ah, what days those were! It +seemed as though we should never reach land. But we got in to-day, and +you can imagine that I have not lost one moment in coming to you, +sweetheart. But how my girl has changed. Grown so tall and womanly. +I'm afraid I've lost my little Wildfire. But the girl I've found in +her stead is a hundred times dearer." +</P> + +<P> +Then Nan clung to him again and they were very happy, feeling how good +God was, and how very blessed it felt to be together. +</P> + +<P> +For a while they both stopped talking and sat quite still, holding +hands, while each heart offered up a prayer of gratitude. +</P> + +<P> +They did not hear an upper door open, nor did they notice a light +footstep in the hall above. But at the sound of a gentle voice calling +"Nan!" they both started up, and the girl's grasp of her father's hand +tightened, for she felt him suddenly start and tremble. She tried to +answer but could not for the joy she felt and the quick fear of this +other loss she would have to suffer now. +</P> + +<P> +"Nan!" +</P> + +<P> +Still the girl could not reply, though she tried, and her father's face +had grown rigid and white, as though it were carved in marble. +</P> + +<P> +Then down the stairs and through the hall came Aunt Isabel, stopping at +the threshold of the dining-room door for a moment to accustom her eyes +to the dimness within. +</P> + +<P> +There she stood—the bright light from the hall lamp falling full upon +her head and the ruddy glow of the fire illuminating her face. +</P> + +<P> +Nan caught up her father's hand, for she felt him suddenly shrink and +falter. +</P> + +<P> +The little figure in the doorway neither stirred or moved. +</P> + +<P> +For an instant there was perfect silence in the room, and then Nan saw +her father stride forward with a look of the most wonderful happiness +upon his face, and heard him utter one word in a tone that set her +heart to beating. +</P> + +<P> +"Bell!" +</P> + +<P> +And somehow then she knew it all. In one brief flash she read the +whole story, and she saw that it was to be completed at last, and that +the loss she had feared she would not know at all, but something +infinitely happier and more sweet. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<P CLASS="finis"> +THE END +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR><BR> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Governess, by Julie M. Lippmann + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GOVERNESS *** + +***** This file should be named 23778-h.htm or 23778-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/2/3/7/7/23778/ + +Produced by Al Haines + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you +do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the +rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose +such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and +research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do +practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is +subject to the trademark license, especially commercial +redistribution. + + + +*** START: FULL LICENSE *** + +THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE +PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK + +To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free +distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work +(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project +Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project +Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at +https://gutenberg.org/license). + + +Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic works + +1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to +and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property +(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all +the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy +all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. +If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the +terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or +entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. + +1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be +used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who +agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few +things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works +even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See +paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement +and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. See paragraph 1.E below. + +1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" +or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the +collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an +individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are +located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from +copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative +works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg +are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project +Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by +freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of +this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with +the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by +keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project +Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. + +1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern +what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in +a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check +the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement +before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or +creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project +Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning +the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United +States. + +1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: + +1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate +access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently +whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the +phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project +Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, +copied or distributed: + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + +1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived +from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is +posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied +and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees +or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work +with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the +work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 +through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the +Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or +1.E.9. + +1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted +with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution +must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional +terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked +to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the +permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. + +1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this +work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. + +1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this +electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without +prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with +active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project +Gutenberg-tm License. + +1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, +compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any +word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or +distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than +"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version +posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), +you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a +copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon +request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other +form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. + +1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, +performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works +unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. + +1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing +access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided +that + +- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from + the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method + you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is + owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he + has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the + Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments + must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you + prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax + returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and + sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the + address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to + the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies + you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he + does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm + License. You must require such a user to return or + destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium + and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of + Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any + money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the + electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days + of receipt of the work. + +- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free + distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set +forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from +both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael +Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the +Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. + +1.F. + +1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable +effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread +public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm +collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain +"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual +property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a +computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by +your equipment. + +1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right +of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project +Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all +liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal +fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT +LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE +PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE +TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE +LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR +INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH +DAMAGE. + +1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a +defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can +receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a +written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you +received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with +your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with +the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a +refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity +providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to +receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy +is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further +opportunities to fix the problem. + +1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth +in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO +WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. + +1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied +warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. +If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the +law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be +interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by +the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any +provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. + +1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the +trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone +providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance +with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, +promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, +harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, +that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do +or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm +work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any +Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. + + +Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm + +Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of +electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers +including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists +because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from +people in all walks of life. + +Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the +assistance they need, is critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's +goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will +remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure +and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. +To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 +and the Foundation web page at https://www.pglaf.org. + + +Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive +Foundation + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit +501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the +state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal +Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification +number is 64-6221541. Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at +https://pglaf.org/fundraising. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent +permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. + +The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. +Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered +throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at +809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email +business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact +information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official +page at https://pglaf.org + +For additional contact information: + Dr. Gregory B. Newby + Chief Executive and Director + gbnewby@pglaf.org + + +Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation + +Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide +spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of +increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be +freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest +array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations +($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt +status with the IRS. + +The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating +charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United +States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a +considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up +with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations +where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To +SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any +particular state visit https://pglaf.org + +While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we +have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition +against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who +approach us with offers to donate. + +International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make +any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from +outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. + +Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation +methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other +ways including including checks, online payments and credit card +donations. To donate, please visit: https://pglaf.org/donate + + +Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. + +Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm +concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared +with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project +Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. + + +Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + https://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. + + +</pre> + +</BODY> + +</HTML> + diff --git a/23778-h/images/img-044.jpg b/23778-h/images/img-044.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..5cd2419 --- /dev/null +++ b/23778-h/images/img-044.jpg diff --git a/23778-h/images/img-119.jpg b/23778-h/images/img-119.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..3ec50ca --- /dev/null +++ b/23778-h/images/img-119.jpg diff --git a/23778-h/images/img-200.jpg b/23778-h/images/img-200.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..753df3c --- /dev/null +++ b/23778-h/images/img-200.jpg diff --git a/23778-h/images/img-301.jpg b/23778-h/images/img-301.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..5029058 --- /dev/null +++ b/23778-h/images/img-301.jpg diff --git a/23778-h/images/img-front.jpg b/23778-h/images/img-front.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..69094f1 --- /dev/null +++ b/23778-h/images/img-front.jpg diff --git a/23778.txt b/23778.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6baa860 --- /dev/null +++ b/23778.txt @@ -0,0 +1,8567 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Governess, by Julie M. Lippmann + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Governess + +Author: Julie M. Lippmann + +Illustrator: Charles R. Chickering + +Release Date: December 9, 2007 [EBook #23778] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GOVERNESS *** + + + + +Produced by Al Haines + + + + + + + + +[Frontispiece: There she stood] + + + +THE GOVERNESS + + +BY + +JULIE M. LIPPMANN + + + +_Author of_ + +"MAMMA-BY-THE-DAY," etc. + + + +_Illustrated by_ + +CHARLES R. CHICKERING + + + +McClelland, Goodchild & Stewart + +Publishers ------ Toronto + +1916 + + + + +Copyright 1897 by + +THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY + + +Copyright 1916 by + +THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY + + +The Governess + + +Contents + + +CHAP. + + I NAN + II NAN'S VISITOR + III MR. TURNER'S PLAN + IV THE GOVERNESS + V GETTING ACQUAINTED + VI WHEELS WITHIN WHEELS + VII OPEN CONFESSION + VIII NAN'S HEROINE + IX HAVING HER OWN WAY + X EXPERIENCES + XI CHRISTMAS + XII SMALL CLOUDS + XIII ON THE ICE + XIV CHANGES + XV A TUG OF WAR + XVI THE SLEIGH-RIDE + XVII CONSEQUENCES + XVIII "CHESTER NEWCOMB" + XIX IN MISS BLAKE'S ROOM + XX THROUGH DEEP WATERS + XXI ANOTHER CHRISTMAS + + + + +Illustrations + + +There she stood . . . . . . _Frontispiece_ + +"I'll run away first!" + +The little governess was beside her + +"I have a little errand to do" + +"Provoking things!" + + + + +The Governess + + +CHAPTER I + +NAN + +"Hello, Nan!" + +"Heyo, Ruthie!" + +"Where are you going?" + +"Over to Reid's lot." + +"Take me?" + +"No, Ruthie, can't." + +The little child's lip began to tremble. "I think you're real mean, +Nan Cutler," she complained. + +Nan shook her head. "Can't help it if you do," she returned, stoutly, +and took a step on. + +"Nannie," cried the child eagerly, starting after her and clutching her +by the skirt, "I didn't mean that! Truly, I didn't. I think you're +just as nice as you can be. Do please let me go with you. Won't you?" + +Nan compressed her lips. "Now, Ruth, look here," she said after a +moment, in which she stood considering, "I'd take you in a minute if I +could but the truth is--oh, you're too little." + +"I ain't too little!" + +"Well, then, your mother doesn't like you to be with me, so there!" +cried Nan, in a burst of reckless frankness. + +Ruth hung her head. She could not deny it but at sight of her +companion turning to leave her she again started forward, piping +shrilly, "Nannie! Nannie! She won't care this time. Honest, she +won't." + +Nan stalked on without turning her head. + +The hurrying little feet followed on close behind. + +"Nannie! Nannie!" + +"See here, Ruth," exclaimed the girl, veering suddenly about and +speaking with decision. "You can't come, and that's all there is about +it. Your mother doesn't like me, and you ought not to disobey her. +Now run back home like a good little girl." + +The delicate, small face upturned to hers grew hardened and set, but +the child did not move. + +Nan gave her a friendly shove on the shoulder and turned on her way +again. Immediately she heard the tap of hurrying little feet behind, +like the echoing sound of her own hasty footsteps. She stopped and +swung about abruptly. + +"Are you going to be a good little girl and go back this minute?" she +demanded sternly, calling to her assistance all the dignity of her +fourteen years, and turning on the poor infant a severe, unrelenting +eye. + +The child gazed up at her reproachfully, but did not reply. + +Nan felt herself fast losing patience. "Of all the provoking little +witches!" she exclaimed, in an underbreath of irritation. + +Ruth's rebuking eyes surveyed her calmly, but she made no response. + +"Now be good and trot along back," cajoled Nan, changing her tactics +and stroking the child's soft hair caressingly. + +There was a visible pursing of the obstinate little lips, but no +further sign of acknowledgment. + +Nan dropped her voice to a tone of honey-sweetness. "See here, Ruthie, +if you'll go home this minute I'll give you five cents. You can buy +anything you like with it at Sam's, on the way back." She plunged her +hand into her pocket and drew forth a bright new nickel, and held it +alluringly aloft. + +The azure eyes gazed at it appreciatively, but the hand was not +outstretched to receive it. For a second Nan reviewed the situation in +silence. Then she flung about with a movement of exasperation, and +marched on stolidly, and the smaller feet hastened after her, keeping +pace with difficulty, and often breaking into a little run that they +might not be outstripped. + +A chill autumn wind was sweeping up heavily from the northeast, and the +air was cold and raw. Nan shuddered as she walked, and wished Ruth +were safe and sound in her own warm home, which she never should have +been permitted to leave this blustering day. A score of plans for +ridding herself of her troublesome little follower crowded Nan's brain. +She might run and leave the youngster behind. But then Ruth would cry, +and Nan could not bear to inflict pain on a little child. She might +take her up in her arms and carry her bodily back to her own door. +Well, and what then? Why, simply, she would get the credit of abusing +the little girl. There seemed no way out of it. She stalked on +grimly, and when she came to Reid's lot she promptly and dexterously +climbed its fence and continued her way in silence. But the fence +proved an insurmountable obstacle to Ruth. She stood outside and +wailed dismally. The sound smote Nan, and made her turn around. + +"Ruth Newton, you deserve to be spanked!" she announced, severely. + +The child uttered another wail of entreaty. Nan sprang up to the +cross-bar of the palings, gathered her skirts about her knees, and +leaped down. + +"Here, let me boost you, since you will get over," she said sharply. + +After they were both safely on the other side Ruth's spirit rose, and +she capered about in the freedom of the open space as wildly as a young +colt. Nan had come for chestnuts. She announced the same presently to +Ruth. Ruth shouted gleefully. + +"I'm going to climb the tree. You can stand underneath and pick up +what I shake, only mind you don't get the burr-prickles in your +fingers, for they hurt like sixty," warned Nan. + +The child nodded her head and pranced over the brown, stubbly ground +with dancing feet, her cheeks aglow and her eyes flashing with +satisfaction. + +She watched Nan with the liveliest interest, and when the older girl +was once comfortably ensconced in the lofty branches, she executed a +sort of war-dance underneath, and spread her tiny skirt to catch the +rain of nuts that Nan shook down upon her from above. But presently +this began to pall. + +"I want to come up where you are, Nannie," she called, coaxingly. + +"You'll have to want then," retorted Nan, carelessly munching nuts like +a squirrel. + +"I could climb's good as anything if only I had a boost," drawled the +child ruefully. + +Nan sprinkled a handful of shucks on her head. + +"I'm going to try," ventured Ruth. + +Nan laughed. + +Ruth looked around, trying to discover some means by which she might +accomplish her purpose. Nan felt so sure that the child could not do +what she threatened that she made no effort to dissuade her. She, +herself, passed from bough to bough as nimbly as a boy, in spite of her +skirts, and in a very short time was almost out of sight among the +upper spreading branches. She sat astride one of these, swinging to +and fro and luxuriating in her sense of freedom and adventure. Peering +down occasionally she saw Ruth standing beneath her and sent repeated +showers of nuts spinning through the boughs to keep the child busy. +But presently Ruth disappeared. She had spied an old piece of board +and she immediately flew to get it, her silly little head filled with +the idea of making it serve her as a ladder. She tugged it laboriously +across the stubbly field, and her short, panting breaths did not reach +Nan's ear, full of the near rustle of leaves and the hum of the +scudding wind. + +"Ahoy! below there!" she shouted nautically from above. + +Ruth was too busy to respond. The board was heavy, and it took all the +strength of her slight arms to get it in position. + +"Shipmate ahoy!" repeated Nan. + +By this time the board had been tilted against the tree and Ruth was +scrambling up the unsteady inclined plane, too absorbed and scared in +her adventure to reply. She actually managed to reach the top and to +stand there tiptoeing the edge uncertainly, her small fingers clasping +the tree-trunk convulsively and her arms trying to grapple with it for +a surer hold. But suddenly she gave a piercing scream, and Nan, +peering down through the branches in instant alarm, saw Ruth lying at +the foot of the tree in a pitiful little motionless heap, and knew in a +moment that she had tried to do what she had threatened and had failed. + +It did not take Nan a minute to reach the ground. Her heart seemed to +stand still with fear. She flung herself from bough to bough with +reckless haste and dropped to the ground all in one breathless instant. + +"Ruth," she cried, bending over the little prostrate figure in an +agony. "Ruth, open your eyes! Get up! Oh, please get up!" + +There was no answer. Nan wrung her hands in despair. The cold wind +blew over the field in chilling gusts. It made her shudder, and +instinctively she took a step toward her warm coat, which she had +stripped off and cast aside before climbing the tree. At sight of it a +new thought struck her. Ruth lying there on the frosty ground would +surely take cold--perhaps die from it! In a twinkling the soft, woolly +garment was wrapped securely about the child and Nan had her two stout +arms around her and was half dragging, half carrying her in the +direction of the distant fence. But they had not covered a dozen yards +before she felt her strength begin to fail. She was lifting a dead +weight, and it seemed to drag more heavily upon her every moment. Her +arms pulled in their sockets and her breath came in painful gasps, and +she knew that if she tried to keep on as she was it would be at the +cost of increasing misery. Still she did not give up, and at last, +after what seemed to her hours of agony and suspense, she actually +reached the limit of the field. She laid Ruth gently upon the ground +and straightened herself up to ease her aching back and regain her lost +breath before taking up her burden again. But as she lifted her head +her eyes fell on the high pickets before her, which seemed to confront +her with as grim defiance as if they had been bayonets. How could she +get Ruth over? The gate, which was at another end of the lot, was +always kept padlocked, and even if she had remembered this at first and +had carried the child there, she could not have undone the bolt. This +was the last straw! She felt frustrated and defeated, and a low sob of +complete discouragement broke from her. It was useless to dream of +getting Ruth over alone. The only way that remained was to secure +help, that was plain. She looked about wildly, but not a soul was in +sight, and she knew in her heart that the chances were against her. +The street at this point was near the city limits, and it had not been +built up as yet. There would be nothing to call any one here unless it +might be some boy who, like herself, had come out for chestnuts, and +what use would a mere boy be? If only John Gardiner were here! John +was tall and strong, and would lend a hand in a jiffy. But John also +was miles away. Ruth's eyes opened for a second and then closed +sleepily again. Nan's heart leaped up with new hope. + +"Ruth! Ruth!" she called eagerly bending over her and stroking her +cheek tenderly. But her hope was short-lived. The eyelids remained +shut, and the child only breathed deeper than before. Nan's own heart +seemed to stop in her anxiety for Ruth. Suddenly she sprang to her +feet. Surely she had heard the rattle of wheels! Ever so far and +indistinct to be sure, but still unmistakably wheels, clattering over +some distant cobbles. She raised her voice and shouted; then held her +breath to listen. The clatter grew more distinct; it drew nearer and +nearer. She clambered up the fence and stood there waving her arms and +shouting as madly as if she had been a shipwrecked mariner sighting a +sail. She paused a moment to listen. The rattling wheels came nearer. +She shouted again and then waited, listening intently. The rattling +stopped. She set up a wild howl of dismay and kept it up till her ears +seemed on the point of splitting. But now the clatter of wheels had +begun again and she could see a milk cart rounding the corner of the +street. She gave a long, shrill whistle and leaped down and ran +frantically out into the road, straight for the horse's head. + +It was a second or two before the astonished driver could be made to +understand, but when he did, he bounded out of his cart willingly +enough, vaulted over the fence and then bade Nan "stand hard" while he +lifted Ruth into her arms. Her weight was nothing to the brawny +fellow, and he had her safely stowed away on the seat of his cart, with +Nan crouching on the floor beside her and himself clinging to the step +outside, in less time than it takes to tell it. + +Nan gave him the street and number in a trembling gasp of gratitude. +He eyed her narrowly, and then seemed to sum up his conclusion in a +low, keen whistle. Her hat was hanging by its elastic on her +shoulders; her hair was blown out of all order by the wind; her dress +was torn and her hands were bruised and none too clean. She had no +coat on, and her cheeks were flaming with cold and excitement. She was +an astonishing spectacle. + +"Guess you're a sort of high-flyer, ain't you?" said he at last without +a sign of ill-nature. + +Nan set her jaws and did not reply. + +"Oh, well, I don't want to hurt your feelings. Only you look sorter +wild-like, you know, and as if your mother didn't know you was out." + +Nan's teeth snapped. "I haven't got any mother," she returned curtly. +"She's dead." + +The milkman looked uncomfortable. He shifted awkwardly from one foot +to the other and muttered something about being sorry. Then for some +time there was silence. + +"That's the house," announced Nan at length, jumping to the step and +hanging to the rail above the dashboard. "That third one from the +corner, on this side. Please let me out first. I want to run ahead +and tell." + +Almost before he could rein in his horse she was out on the pavement. +She flew to the area gate and pressed the bell with all her might. She +kept her finger on it, and the cook came flying to the door, looking +flushed and angry at the continuous ringing. + +"Well, I might o' known," she said, eying Nan with unconcealed +disfavor. "Do you think a body's deaf that you ring like that?" + +Nan flung back her head resentfully. + +"Never mind what I think," she returned sharply. "Open the gate! Ruth +is sick! She got hurt! Some one's bringing her in. Quick!" + +The gate was flung open with a bang, and the woman rushed out, +clutching Ruth from the milkman's arms and carrying her into the house, +muttering mingled caresses and abuse all the while; the caresses for +Ruth and the abuse for Nan. + +The milkman turned on his heel and went his way unthanked, but by the +time he got to the outer gate Nan had recollected herself, and had +rushed after him, calling: + +"Oh, please! I want to tell you--thank you ever so much!" + +She was glad she had done it when she saw the gratified look on his +face. When she got back to the area gate it was shut. Mary the +chambermaid stood just inside it. She made no attempt to admit Nan. +She simply stood there and looked her over from head to toe. + +"Well, you're a pretty piece!" she remarked. + +"None of your business if I am," retorted Nan. "Let me in. I want to +see Mrs. Newton." + +The maid took her hand from the knob and put it on her hip. + +"Mrs. Newton don't want to see you, though, I guess," she returned. +"By this time Bridget's told her all she wants to know." + +"But I must see her! I must tell her!" Nan insisted, stamping her +foot. "Bridget don't know anything about it. No one does but me. Let +me in, I say!" + +The girl laughed. + +"Well, I'll go upstairs and tell Mrs. Newton. Then, if she wants to +see you, she can," and she went inside and closed the door, leaving Nan +to stand shuddering in the cold outside. Presently she came back, +carrying the coat in her hands. + +"Mrs. Newton says she hasn't time to see you now. She says she'll +attend to you later. She says she can guess how it happened, and that +if Ruth dies it'll be your fault. There, now, you know what's thought +of you, and you can put it in your pipe and smoke it, you great, rough +tomboy!" + +The gate was thrust open a little way, the coat was flung out, and the +door slammed to again, and once more Nan found herself in the area way +alone. Burning tears of fury sprung to her eyes. She caught up her +despised coat and dashed wildly out of the gate in a perfect tempest of +anger and resentment. + + + + +CHAPTER II + +NAN'S VISITOR + +She knew what was coming when the bell rang. She had been expecting it +all the afternoon. But in spite of that her heart beat fast and her +breath came hard as she heard the familiar sound. Not that she was +afraid. She had nothing to be afraid of, she assured herself +defiantly, and besides, fear was one of the things she despised. +Whatever else she was, she was certainly not a coward. Still she sat +in her room and waited in a state of mind that was not precisely what +one would call tranquil. + +She heard Delia mount the basement stairs and then she heard her ask +the new-comer into the parlor. A moment later there was a tap upon +Nan's bedroom door. + +"Come in," she said carelessly, and pretended to be searching for some +article lost in the confusion of her upper drawer. + +"You're wanted in the parlor, Nan," began Delia at once. "It's a lady +who says she lives on the block and she wouldn't give her name, but I +think she's the one moved into Leffingwell's old house last spring--has +that little girl with the long curls, you know the one I mean. Shall I +help you put on another dress and braid your hair over? It's fearful +mussy-lookin'. Or will I just go and say you'll be down in a minute +while you do it yourself?" + +Nan cast a glance at her torn dress and towzled head in the mirror. +"No, Delia, I'll go as I am, and if the lady doesn't like it she +can--oh, well, I'll go down as I am." + +Delia pressed her lips together, as though trying to hold back the +words of advice on the tip of her tongue. She knew it was worse than +useless to try to argue with the girl. She had not lived in the house +since Nan was born without learning better than to try to reason with +her when she had once declared her mind. She stood beside the door, +and allowed Nan to pass through it before her, without saying a word. +Then she followed her quietly down stairs. At the parlor door Nan +paused a moment, and Delia, who thought she was about to speak, paused +too, but the girl only turned sharply into the room, pulling the door +shut behind her. Once across the threshold she halted and stood +irresolute. Whatever the result of this meeting might prove, depended +not so much on Nan as on her visitor. + +Nan, though standing in awkward silence, as stiff and as straight as a +soldier on parade, was ready to be influenced by whatever course her +caller chose to pursue; a kind word spoken at the start would melt her +at once, where a harsh one would raise in her every sort of sullen +hostility and obstinate resistance. She was, as Delia often said to +herself, "as hard to manage as a kicking colt." Sometimes she was +wonderfully docile, but her moods were variable, and oftenest she was +headstrong and wilful, with a fierce repugnance to curb, or what she +considered unwarrantable interference. + +But it would have been difficult to convince the stranger at that +moment that Nan could ever be won, or, in fact, that she had any +tenderness to be appealed to. There she stood, looking as erect and +impassive as a young Indian. Her brown hair was in a state of thorough +disorder, and gave a sort of savage look to her sun-browned face. Her +gray eyes were anything but soft at this moment; her mouth was set, and +her whole attitude seemed to be one of imperturbable indifference. In +reality, the girl was apprehensive and embarrassed. She set her lips +to keep them from trembling. Her first impulse would have been to make +a clean breast of everything, frankly and truthfully, but--something in +her nature held her back. Was it obstinacy, or was it reticence? + +Her visitor did not wait to discover. She decided the result of the +interview in the first words she spoke. + +"Is your name Nan Cutler?" she asked in a voice of stern authority. + +"Yes, it is!" acknowledged the girl, instantly on the defensive. + +"Then it is you who are accountable for the accident to Ruth Newton? +You urged her to go with you, and when she fell--oh, you are a coward! +It was detestable!" + +Nan made no reply, but stood the picture of inflexibility, facing her +accuser squarely. + +"I have come to see you, not because you can undo the mischief you have +done to my child, and not because I think I can affect you in the +least, or make you sorry or ashamed, but simply to tell you that I +intend to see that you are punished, as you deserve. I have put up +with annoyance you caused me long enough. Your influence is bad. All +the neighbors complain of you. You are noisy and careless, and rough +and rude. When any one reprimands you, you give a pert retort, or else +pretend not to hear--which is impudent. Unless we wish our children to +be utterly ruined we must see that they are put beyond your influence +at once. You do things that are absolutely vulgar and unbefitting a +girl of your age; you must be fourteen, at least, you look older, you +are certainly old enough to know better. You are not a proper playmate +for our children. You are boisterous and unladylike. You--you--are a +perfect hoyden!" + +The stranger paused for breath, while Nan surveyed her with a look of +calm indifference; an air of unconcern in anything she might say or +think that seemed as insolent as it was exasperating. + +"You are a perfect hoyden!" repeated the stern voice in rising anger. +"Whatever you do is done in such a loud, violent fashion that it +becomes perfectly unbearable. You play ball with boys. You climb +fences and trees. You are continually flying up and down the street on +your detestable roller-skates and shouting until the neighborhood seems +like Bedlam, and you don't appear to have the vaguest idea that +people's rights need not be infringed on in such a manner; that they +have the right to peace and quiet in their own homes. Even if you +would content yourself with your own disorderliness! But you are not +satisfied with doing what you know must annoy others; you seem to take +a malicious delight in bringing the little children under your +influence and making them long to follow your example. You cannot have +the first shadow of generosity or bravery in your nature, or you would +not urge them to do what you know their parents would disapprove of. +You teach them to disobey. My daughter never told an untruth in her +life until the other day. I have no reason to doubt that you taught +her to tell that untruth!" + +Nan's cheeks suddenly became white, but she did not open her lips. + +"If you cannot be restrained by your own people at home you shall be by +some other means. They say your own people are respectable; how can +you disgrace them so?" + +Nan deigned no reply, but her lip curled contemptuously. + +"They say your mother is dead." + +Again no answer. + +"Where is your father?" + +"My father is in India. He is in Bombay," announced Nan, deliberately. + +"Who has control of you in his absence?" + +"No one!" declared the girl with decision. + +Mrs. Newton surveyed the lank, overgrown, girlish figure with +unconcealed scorn. + +"Do you know," she said with bitter distinctness, "that you are the +most shameless, unfeeling girl I have ever beheld? Any one else would +show some remorse for what she had done, but you--young as you are, you +are the hardest creature I have ever known. Hard, cruel, and cold. +How can you stand there and look me in the face when you know how you +have injured me? Tell me, does it not touch you at all that Ruth is +hurt? Do you know or care that such a fall as she has had is enough to +cripple a child for life? Many children have been hopelessly crippled +through far less." + +The mother's voice broke, and she set her lips to keep down a sob. + +"How much is she hurt?" whispered Nan after a moment. She was +trembling all over and cold and hot by turns, and she could not command +her voice. It was almost more than she could do to keep from bursting +into a violent fit of sobbing from her sense of injury and shame and +indignation. But she simply would not permit herself to break down. +No one should be allowed to think they intimidated her. But she could +not hide her anxiety about Ruth. + +"Is she much hurt?" she repeated. + +There was a shade of softening in her visitor's face. "We can't tell +yet. She has had a severe fall, and the chill coming after it may have +very serious consequences, but we can tell nothing yet. However, I did +not come here to inform you of her condition," the voice growing stern +and the face severe again. "I came to tell you that if Ruth is injured +I will hold you responsible. And not only that, but I warn you that I +mean to take matters into my own hands now and see that you are +permitted to do no further mischief. You shall be controlled. Who has +charge of your father's affairs? Who has any sort of authority over +you in his absence? He must have left you in somebody's care. He +can't have gone away leaving you with no one to look after you. Who is +your guardian? Tell me? If you don't I shall find out for myself, you +may depend." + +"I'm perfectly willing to tell you," declared Nan, with what seemed to +be complete coolness. "It's Mr. Turner. He gives Delia the money to +get me things and to keep the house. He comes here every once in a +while to see me. My father has him for his lawyer. He's a friend of +his. When Delia writes to him for money for me she sends the letter to +101 Blank Street. That's his office. I don't remember where his house +is. Delia never writes to his house. He doesn't attend to me--that +is, he isn't my guardian, but I guess he would do if you want to see +some one." + +Nan delivered herself of this information as casually as though it had +been a report of the weather. As a matter of fact she was inwardly +quivering, and every moment found it more and more difficult to control +herself. Never in all her life before had she been so relentlessly, +harshly accused. In trying to conceal her emotion she only gave +herself the appearance of rigid inflexibility. + +Her visitor regarded her stonily for a moment and then abruptly brushed +past her toward the door. Nan made no attempt to intercept her, but +suddenly the hard lines about her mouth relaxed, her eyes softened, and +she held out her hands with an imploring gesture. + +"Won't you please tell me where Ruth is hurt?" she cried. "Won't you +let me do something for her? Let me--please let me! If you'll only +listen a minute I'll tell you--" + +But it was too late now. She was given no reply; permitted no chance +to vindicate herself. Her visitor's hard lips quivered, but she +uttered no syllable. In a moment she was gone. + +After the door had closed upon her and it was quite certain that she +would not come back, Nan turned and rushed headlong, like a young +savage, upstairs and into her own room. What took place there it would +have been impossible to discover, for the shades were jerked fiercely +down, the door sharply shut and locked, and Delia, coming up some time +later, could not make out a sound within nor get a reply to her +requests to be admitted, though she stood outside and pleaded for an +hour. + +At twilight the door was opened and Nan came out quite composed, but +bearing on her face the unmistakable traces of tears which, however, +Delia was wise enough to let pass unremarked. + +"Time for dinner?" asked the girl, curtly. + +"No, not yet. It ain't but just six," replied the woman. "Are you +hungry? I'll get you something if you are." + +"No, I'm not hungry. But I feel kind of queer, somehow. There's an +empty feeling I have that makes me uncomfortable. But I'm not hungry. +O Delia!" she burst out, vehemently, "I wish--I wish--I had my mother. +A girl needs--her mother--sometimes--" + +"Always," declared Delia, with conviction. + +For a little time there was silence between them. Then Nan said, "Look +here, Delia--I want to tell you something. I feel just horribly. I +never felt so unhappy in all my life. That lady who was here this +afternoon is Ruth Newton's mother. She came to see me because this +morning Ruth fell from the tree in Reid's lot and hurt herself, and +Mrs. Newton thinks I made her do it. I didn't. Honestly, I didn't. I +had climbed the tree myself, and it was fun and I liked it. Ruth would +come. I tried to make her stay away, but she wouldn't, and when she +teased to climb the tree too, I told her not to. She's so little and +young, and her mother doesn't think it's ladylike, and I said if she +wouldn't come with me in the first place I'd give her five cents. But +she would tag on, and later she tried to climb the tree in spite of +everything. She put a board up against the trunk and got on it and +then scrambled up a little way, but she didn't get far, for the board +slipped, or something, and down she went--smash! I guess she must have +hit herself on the edge or somewhere, for when I dropped down she was +lying on the ground, and she had her eyes closed and wouldn't speak. +Then I didn't know what to do. I wanted to lift her, but it was awful +work. There was no one in sight. At last I managed to tug her to the +fence, but, of course, I hadn't the strength to get her over that +alone. I couldn't leave her and run for help, and for a long time I +did nothing but scream, in the hope that some one would come along and +hear. And by and by I heard wheels. It was a milk cart, and I got the +man to help me get her home. I went right to the Newton's as fast as I +could, but when Bridget opened the door and saw who it was she was +simply furious. They wouldn't let me in, and Mrs. Newton sent down +word she wouldn't see me, but she'd attend to me later, and this +afternoon when she called she just called me names and things, and I +couldn't explain to her, I felt so choked. She talked to me so, I +couldn't say a word. You don't know. When people say such things to +me something gets in my throat, and I feel like strangling and doing +all sorts of things. I seem to shut right up when they go at me like +that. I can't speak. I just feel like--well, you don't know what I +feel like. Mrs. Newton asked me where father is, and I told her, and +then she asked about Mr. Turner, for she wants to have things done to +me, and I told her about him. I wouldn't have her think I wanted to +get out of it. She called me names and she thinks I taught Ruth to +tell untruths; she said so. She says if Ruth doesn't get well it will +be my fault. O Delia! I didn't do it. Honestly I wasn't to blame. +But if Ruth is going to be sick and they think I did it--I want my +mother! How can I bear it without my mother?" + +Delia gently patted the dark head that had flung itself into her lap. +Her heart ached for the girl, but her simple mind was not equal to the +task of consolation in a case like this. She could not cope with its +difficulties. She knew Nan was to blame for much, but she thought in +her heart that Mrs. Newton had no right to vent her wrath upon the girl +without first having heard her side of the story. She could not +console Nan, she thought, without seeming to convict Mrs. Newton, and +if she "stood up for" Mrs. Newton, Nan would think her lacking in +sympathy for herself. But in the midst of her wondering, up bobbed the +head from under her hand. + +"Mrs. Newton says I teach the children to do wrong. She says I'm a +hoyden. She says I left Ruth in the cold and that I was a coward. She +didn't give me time to tell her about how I tried to get Ruth home +myself, and that when I couldn't, how I just howled for help. At least +she didn't want to listen when I got so I could speak. She says +everybody thinks I'm bad, and they want to have me attended to. She +thinks I taught Ruth to tell lies. Think, Delia, lies! When she said +that it was like knives! O Delia? I know you've been awfully good to +me always, and taken care of me since mamma died and all, but if it is +so dreadful to play ball and skate and do things like that, why did you +let me in the first place? I hate to sew and do worsted work and be +prim, but perhaps, if you had brought me up that way I might have got +so I could stand it. Don't you think if you had begun when I was a +baby I might have? I don't want to have people hate me--honestly, I +don't. When they talk to me, and say I'm rowdyish because I walk +fences and play ball with the boys and climb trees, I try not to show +it, but it hurts me way deep down. I try to say something back so +they'll think I don't care, and sometimes, if it hurts too much, I +pretend not to hear, and that makes them madder than ever. They don't +know how, when it's like that, I can't speak. Perhaps if you'd brought +me up so, I might have liked dolls and thought it was fun to sit still +and sew on baby clothes. But I don't like to, and I can't help it. +Mrs. Newton thinks because I whistle and make a noise that I'm just +mean and hateful and everything else. She thinks I don't care. Why, +Delia! if anything happened to Ruth I'd feel exactly as if I didn't +want to live another day. I--I--O Delia!" + +For the first time she gave way, and, hiding her head in her arms, +sobbed heavily. + +By this time Delia had risen to a point of burning anger against her +child's detractor. Her heart beat loyally for Nan, and she could +scarcely restrain the words of resentment that rose to her lips, and +that it would have been such unwisdom to have uttered. + +"Never mind, Nannie lamb!" she said. "It'll be all right in the +morning. The child will be all well in the morning. You'll see she +ain't so bad as they think. And to-morrow I'll go and tell them all +about it. And perhaps they'll see then it's better to be slow accusin' +where the guilt ain't proved. Come, come! Don't cry so! Why, Nannie, +child, you haven't cried like this since you were--I can't tell how +little. You never cry, Nan. You're always so brave, and never give +way. You'll have a headache if you don't stop. Dry your tears, and +to-morrow it'll be all right." + +So, little by little, she soothed the girl, and by and by Nan ate her +dinner, and then, when it was later, she went to bed. But when +everything was hushed and still a dark figure crept noiselessly down +stairs and on into the outer darkness. Down the street it stole until +it had reached a house, which, alone in all the row of darkened +barrack-like dwellings, showed a dimly lit window to the night. There +it halted. And there it stood, like a faithful sentinel, only +deserting its post when the gray light of early morning rose slowly +over the world and the city was astir once more. + + + + +CHAPTER III + +MR. TURNER'S PLAN + +"I am deeply sorry," said Mr. Turner, "and can only apologize in my +friend's name for any annoyance his daughter may have caused you. Of +course I cannot agree with you that she annoys you purposely. A child +of William Cutler could not well be other than large-hearted and +generous. She may be a little undisciplined perhaps, but it shall be +attended to, Madam! I assure you the matter shall be attended to." + +Mrs. Newton rose. She had called upon Mr. Turner to state her +complaint against Nan Cutler. Now that was accomplished she would go; +only she made a mental vow that if the lawyer were not as good as his +word, if he did not take immediate steps toward rectifying the matter, +she would follow it up herself and see that she was relieved of what, +in her anger, she called "that common nuisance." + +Meantime Nan herself was going about with a dead load of misery on her +heart. Delia had gone to the Newton's house early in the morning to +inquire after the sick child's condition and to repeat Nan's story to +her mother, but that lady was "not at home," and Delia understood that +to mean that Mrs. Newton declined to receive either her or her +explanation. She went home angry and disappointed. + +"I guess the little girl ain't much hurt," she announced to Nan. +"She's in bed to be sure, but I guess that's more on account of her +cold than anything else. She isn't going to be crippled, Nan, now +don't you fret. She'll be all right. Now you see if she ain't." + +Nan's own flushed cheeks and brilliant eyes, the result of her +yesterday's chilly adventures, worried the good woman not a little. If +she had dared she would have liked to "coddle her child," but Nan was +not one of the coddling kind, and would have scorned being made a baby +of. She went about the house in one of her unhappy moods, restless and +wretched and unable to amuse herself, and finding the hours +never-endingly long. + +When the bell rang she welcomed the sound as a grateful diversion and +ran to the balusters and hung over the railing to see who might be the +new-comer. She was glad of any break in the monotony of such a +miserable day. + +When Delia opened the door and admitted Mr. Turner, Nan's heart gave a +big leap. Visions of what might be in store for her, the result of +Mrs. Newton's action against her, thronged her brain and made her +shudder with apprehension. What if Mr. Turner had come to say that she +was to be sent to the House of Correction, or some horrid +boarding-school where one don't get enough to eat and where one +couldn't poke one's nose outside the door. A set expression settled on +the girl's face that did not augur well for her reception of whatever +plan the lawyer might have to propose. + +When Delia came to call her, she sighed. She saw plainly enough that +Nan's "contrary fit" was on, and she wondered how much the lawyer would +accomplish by his visit under the circumstances. + +Nan went down to him sullenly determined to stand by her guns and +absolutely refuse to be committed to either a reformatory or any other +establishment of a similar character. + +"How do you do, my dear?" was Mr. Turner's kindly greeting as the girl +entered the room. + +Nan replied, "Very well, sir," thinking, at the same time, that she +would not be disarmed by kindness nor permit herself to be cajoled into +doing anything she did not wish to do. No one really had the right to +order her about, and she would resolutely oppose any one who assumed +such a right. + +But presently she found herself telling her father's friend the story +of yesterday's disaster, quite simply and with entire willingness. + +"So," Mr. Turner said at the conclusion, "I thought that the good lady +must have made a mistake. I felt pretty sure your father's daughter +would never be guilty of cowardice nor of deliberately planning to +destroy the peace of any one. I knew you could not be the girl Mrs. +Newton described. She seemed to think you were--why, my dear, she gave +me to understand that you were quite wild and lawless; that you were a +bad influence in the neighborhood, and that you were so with full +consciousness of what you were doing. We must explain to Mrs. Newton! +We must explain!" + +"I don't lie!" declared Nan. "And I'm not a coward, and I don't try to +make her mad or hurt her children, but I do climb trees and I do race +and do figures on roller-skates, and I do do the rest of the things she +says I do and that she doesn't like." + +"And your school?" ventured the lawyer. + +"I don't go any more," announced Nan. "I had a fight with one of the +teachers, and so I left." + +Mr. Turner gazed suddenly upon the floor. + +"And this 'fight' with the teacher? Do you remember the cause of the +disturbance?" he asked, looking up after a moment. + +"She struck me with her ruler. I had a rubber baby doll, it was the +weeniest thing you ever saw, and she wore false puffs, Miss Fowler did, +and one day, when I was at the blackboard and she was looking the other +way, I just dropped the baby doll into one of the puffs that the +hair-pin had come out of, and that was standing up on end, and it +looked so funny on her head, the puff with the baby doll standing in +it, that all the girls laughed, and then she asked me what I had done, +and I told her, and she struck me. I wouldn't have said anything if +she had just punished me. I knew it was wrong to pop that doll on her +head, but I just couldn't help it--it looked too funny. But when she +struck me! Well, I won't be struck by any one--and so I left." + +The lawyer meditated in silence for a moment. Then he said: + +"Well, my dear, I think I understand the condition of things here. +Without doubt it is high time something were done. Your father, when +he went away, gave me full authority to make such arrangements for you +as I might feel were necessary, but until now I have rather avoided +taking upon myself any responsibility. Possibly I have neglected my +duty toward you. But now all that shall be changed. Don't you think +if I were to send you--" + +Nan's eyes blazed. So it was as she had felt sure it would be! She +was to be sent away! She did not wait for the sentence to be finished. + +"Send me to the House of Correction? I won't go, sir! I'll run away +first! Or a horrid boarding-school, neither. I guess my father didn't +mean me to be made unhappy, Mr. Turner; I guess he didn't mean any one +to have authority to send me to awful places just because Mrs. Newton +says so, away from Delia and things. You needn't send me anywhere, for +I'll run away as sure as you do." + +[Illustration: "I'll run away first!"] + +"Slowly--slowly!" cautioned Mr. Turner. "You go too fast! If you had +waited for me to finish my sentence you would have discovered that I +meant to send you neither to the House of Correction," here his eyes +twinkled with amusement, "nor to a 'horrid boarding-school.' What I +was about to say was that I propose to send you a lady who will teach +you here at home, who will be a friend and companion to you and whom +you will be sure to love. It is rather a curious coincidence that just +the other day I was talking to a lady who is anxious to procure just +such a position as this with you, and I am rather inclined to think +that she would be willing to come here and undertake it. At all +events, I have written to her asking her to consider the plan and in a +day or so I shall know her decision. If she concludes to come--if I +can induce her to come--I shall feel that you are very fortunate. You +will forgive me if I say that while I disagree with Mrs. Newton in most +respects regarding you, I feel with her that you are somewhat--well, +somewhat ungoverned and in need of just the sort of discipline that I +am sure Miss--the lady I speak of can maintain." + +He paused a moment, but when he saw that Nan made no comment or +objection he continued placidly: + +"You will hear from me in the course of a day or so, as soon as I +receive word from the lady herself. As I said, you will be very +fortunate if I can secure her services for you--more fortunate than she +will be, I fear," he said to himself, catching a glimpse of Nan's set +mouth and flashing eyes as he made his way to the door. Later, when he +recalled her expression, he was almost inclined to hope that the lady +would decide to refuse the office. He thought her acceptance of it +might involve her in rather more serious difficulties than he had +foreseen when he wrote to her in the first place. + +As a matter of fact, Nan was in a rage at the thought of a stranger +coming into the house to interfere with her and Delia, to teach her +what she did not want to learn, and to govern her when her sole idea of +happiness was to be free and untrammeled. Even Delia resented the +new-comer's intrusion. Had she managed the house for fourteen years +now, ever since Mrs. Cutler's death, only to be set aside and ruled +over by the first stranger who chose to imagine her position of +governess to Nan gave her the right to interfere in household affairs? +For of course she would interfere. Nan had drawn a vivid mental +picture of the governess, which through her persistence in repetition, +had begun to seem an actual description to herself and Delia. + +"She's tall and thin and lanky and old!" declared the girl whenever the +governess, who had accepted the appointment, was mentioned. "She has +horrid sharp eyes that spy out everything, and she wears glasses. +She'll never laugh because she'll say 'giggling is frivolous,' that's +what Miss Fowler used to say, and she'll talk arithmetic and grammar +and geography the whole blessed time. She'll snoop in your closets, +Delia, and into my bureau drawers, and she'll find out everything we +don't want her to know. Her hair is black and shiny, and I guess she +parts it in the middle and makes it come to the back of her head in a +little hard knot. Oh! I know just how she looks! I can see her every +time I shut my eyes--the horrid thing! Just like Miss Fowler at +school! And how I'll hate her! I'll hate her just as much as I did +Miss Fowler. I'll hate her more, because I can never get rid of her: +she'll always be here. Don't you fix up her room a single bit, Delia. +Make it look as awful as you can. Then perhaps she won't like it +and'll leave. I guess after a little while she won't think it agrees +with her to live here. Then we two'll be alone again, and I tell you, +won't we be glad, Delia?" + +In her heart Delia thought they would. She did not follow Nan's advice +to make the governess' room look "as awful as she could." She swept +and dusted it thoroughly, and set all the furniture in place, as she +had been accustomed to do for the last fourteen years, and when she had +finished the place was as uninviting as even Nan could have desired. +In fact, there was nothing attractive in the whole house. The +furniture was all good and substantial, but Delia had a way of ranging +it against the walls in a manner that made it seem stiff and +uncompromising. When a piece needed repairing, and with Nan about, +many a piece needed repairing often, it was stowed out of sight in the +trunk-room, or the cellar, and the carpets, which had been rich and +fashionable in their day, were allowed to lie now long after they had +become threadbare and faded. Delia kept the handsome paintings veiled +in tarlatan winter and summer, and she never removed the slip-covers +from the parlor sofas and chairs, whatever the season might be. Nan +did not care, because she knew nothing different, and there was no +loving, artful hand to make the best of the things and turn the house +into a home. + +Mrs. Newton had shivered as she entered the place; it seemed dark and +cold and forbidding to her, and she felt the mother-want at every turn, +but this had not made her any more lenient with Nan. Perhaps the +governess would make no allowances either. Delia made up her mind that +if things really came to the pass where Nan was being abused, she in +person would "just step in and say her say, if it lost her her place." +She often talked of things losing her her place when the fact was that +she herself was the place: if it had not been for her the house must +have been closed, and Nan sent to boarding-school. Mr. Cutler would +never have trusted the care of his girl to a strange servant. + +"Yes, Ma'am," Delia said to herself, as she pushed the governess' bed +flat up against the wall. "Yes, Ma'am! if I see her going for to abuse +Nan, I'll set to and give her a piece of my mind such as she ain't +likely to have got in one while, I tell you that," and she gave the +bureau a vicious tweak and pulled down the shade with a resentful jerk. + +When Nan saw the room she was disgusted. + +"Why, Delia Connor! you haven't done a single thing I told you to," she +cried out angrily. + +"I've swept and dusted it and that's all there was to do," retorted +Delia. + +"It looks perfectly lovely," resumed Nan, stamping her foot. "Do you +s'pose I want her to think we're glad to have her, and that we've +prepared for her? Well, I guess not! If she once gets into as good a +room as this she'll never go--she'll just hang on and on, and nothing +in the world will make her budge." + +"What do you want me to do?" asked Delia with irritation. + +Nan looked at her scornfully for a moment. "Do? Why, what I told you +to do! Make the room look awful--perfectly hideous. Make it so she +can't help but see we don't want her here. Make it a hint--and a +strong one too." + +Delia folded her arms deliberately. "Well, whatever you want to act +like, Nan," she said, "I can tell you I ain't going to do anything +unladylike, so there!" and she stalked out of the room with dignity. + +Nan surveyed the place in silence. What was to be done? If she +removed all the furniture but the bed and the bureau and left the +governess nothing to sit down on, it would only reflect discreditably +upon the family's supply of household goods. If she carefully sifted +back the dust Delia had just removed, it would merely prove that the +people in this house were of a slovenly and careless habit, and that +they were sadly in need of some one to oversee their work. Moreover, +would a person as dull of feeling as this governess must be, appreciate +the hint conveyed in so delicate and indirect a manner? No. She would +be sure to lose the point. Nan felt it would never do to take any risk +of her misunderstanding. Whatever she did must be unmistakable and +absolutely direct. + +She racked her brain to discover just the right thing, but she was +rewarded by no brilliant idea, and she felt crosser than ever by the +time noon had arrived. But suddenly, at the luncheon table, she gave a +wild leap from her chair and clapped her hands frantically, while Delia +almost let a dish fall in her surprise at this sudden and unexpected +demonstration. + +"For the land's sake, what is it now?" she demanded, while Nan caught +her around the waist and whirled her about the room, vegetable dish and +all. + +"I've got it! I've got it!" screamed the girl, convulsed with inward +laughter. "I've got the best scheme in the world. Delia, you old +duck! Oh, won't it settle her though! Won't it settle her?" But she +would not reveal who was to be settled, nor how, though Delia pleaded +earnestly to be enlightened and even offered to help her make caramels +as a bribe. + +"No, thank you, Ma'am! I wouldn't have time to boil 'em. I'm going to +be as busy as a beaver all the afternoon, so no matter what happens +don't you disturb me," continued Nan, importantly. + +Delia shrewdly suspected that the scheme afoot had something to do with +the governess, but she did not dare suggest it. + +"Oh, well, what I don't know I can't cry over," she said to herself, +"and when Nan's like this, all the king's horses and all the king's men +couldn't stop her, so I might as well hold my tongue. But I'll say +this much, I don't envy that governess her job, whoever she may be." + +Meanwhile Nan had gone to her own room and shut and locked the door. +Her next move was to take her night-dress from its hook and slip it +over her head. + +"Now I'm going to rehearse," she announced to her reflection in the +glass. "First I must get my eyes to seem kind of wide and starey. No! +not this way. They must look like licorice-drops in milk. There! +that's better! All expressionless, and that kind of thing. I s'pose I +might shut 'em, some somnabulists do; but then I'd be sure to trip over +the furniture and stub my toes, and give the whole business away. No, +I must keep my eyes open; that's certain. Then I must glide when I +walk. My step must be light and ghostly and noiseless. I must be sure +to have it ghostly and noiseless. Now--eyes staring--one, two, +three--step ghostly and noiseless--Oh, bother! What business had that +footstool in my way? If I knock things over like that I'll wake the +house, and Delia would know in a minute what I was up to. There! get +into the corner, you old thing! Now again! Eyes staring--step +ghostly--and noiseless--voice low and mournful, but I must manage to +make her understand every word. Now once more--voice low and mournful-- + +"Alas! alas! why did she come?--why did she come? (No, I can't say +that! It sounds too much like 'Why did he die! Why did he die?' But +the alas is good! That sounds real creepy and weird.) Now then--Alas! +alas! This is the worst thing that ever happened to me in all my life! +My dear, old home! To think that anybody who isn't wanted should come +and push herself like this into my dear, old home! O father! father! +come home from Bombay, and save me from this awful woman. Turn her out +of the house! Make her go back where she came from! Her hated form +haunts me in my sleep, and I dream all night of her as I see her in the +daytime--tall--and thin--and lanky--with her hair all dragged into that +ugly little knob behind at the back of her head! O father! father! her +eyes are like needles! They prick me when she looks. Save me!--save +me! My heart will break if some one doesn't come and rescue me from +this terrible person. Take her away--take her away! Ah--I see her! I +see her! Get away--get away! You awful creature! Don't you know you +are causing an innocent girl to perish in her youth? Alas, she won't +go! Then listen, reckless woman! and remember this warning--'the way +of intruders is hard!' + +"There! that ends it off with a sort of threatening dreadfulness that +ought to scare her stiff. After I've said that in a whisper to freeze +her blood, I'll turn silently from her bedside and glide noiselessly +from the room, wringing my hair and tearing my hands; no, I mean just +the other way, and if that doesn't fix her, why--I'll have to go over +it all again, of course, so I won't forget. Perhaps it would be a good +idea to write it down and learn it off by heart." + +The idea in fact recommended itself so thoroughly to her that she +followed her own suggestion without further delay and wrote off the +entire harangue at once, making it, if possible, even more eloquent and +harrowing than it had been in the original. It seemed a very long, +wearisome task, to commit it all to memory, but she did not grudge the +trouble. She had never attempted anything that looked like study with +so much willingness. The afternoon slipped away like a dream, and as +soon as dinner was over she set to work again, and by bed-time had the +thing pretty well under control. Whenever she halted or stumbled she +went over it all again with the most patient perseverance. + +"I suppose if I had stuck to things at school like this I'd have been +at the head of the class," she said to herself with a whimsical sense +of her own perversity. + +Delia was completely nonplused. She could not imagine what "that child +was up to." There were no evidences anywhere of the means she was +going to employ in the governess' initiation. Her room was in perfect +order, and in Nan's own chamber nothing was unusually amiss. She got +no satisfaction from the girl herself, who kept her lips tightly +closed, except when she was mumbling over her harangue. It was +terribly perplexing--and ominous. + +"Good land!" thought Delia in real anxiety, "I only hope she ain't +going to do anything too dreadful. I declare, if it weren't that I'm +so soft where Nannie is concerned I'd say I'd be glad that some one's +coming who may be up to managin' her. I'm free to confess I ain't. If +only her mother had lived! Or, if only my dear Miss Belle hadn't gone +off to the ends of the earth--! Miss Belle could have managed her! No +one could resist Miss Belle, bless her! Ah, dear me, dear me! It's +fifteen years, and to think, I'll never see her face again!" + + + + +CHAPTER IV + +THE GOVERNESS + +The morning of the expected governess' arrival dawned cold and dreary. +Rain fell in torrents, and the streets were drenched and slippery with +slush. All day Nan moped in unhappy expectation of her anticipated +thralldom. At every sound of rumbling wheels before the door she would +fly to the window, torturing herself with the belief that this was the +hack which was conveying the tyrant-governess to the victim-pupil, and +she felt a curious sort of disappointment when no such vehicle appeared +and no such personage arrived, for always the rumbling wheels belonged +to some grocer's cart or butcher's wagon, and by evening the invader +had still not appeared. Then Nan plucked up courage. + +"I shouldn't wonder if she had been switched off the road," she said to +Delia, inclining to be quite jolly at the mere thought of such a +grateful possibility. And she pictured to herself an accommodating +engine whizzing the unwelcome guest off into some remote region from +which she would never see the desirability of returning. Nan wished +her no ill, but she did not wish herself ill either. She ate her +dinner quite contentedly, and was just going to settle down comfortably +to some thrilling tale of adventure when Br--r--r! went the bell, and +she knew her fate had descended upon her. + +She flew to the parlor and hid behind the folding-door. She heard +Delia ascend the basement stairs. She heard her come along the hall, +and then--it was very strange, but Nan really thought she heard her +give a smothered exclamation that was instantly followed by the word of +warning, "Hush!"--but she must have been mistaken, for it was only Mr. +Turner who was speaking. He was asking for Nan herself. She slipped +from behind the door with the hope at her heart that even now, at the +last minute, the governess had "backed out." Certainly it looked as if +she had, since she saw only the lawyer standing by the hat-stand. She +held out her hand to him with a real smile of greeting when--he stepped +aside and there stood the governess. + +At first Nan thought it must be some little girl, so small and slender +looked the figure beside that of the tall man. The eyes beneath the +rain-soaked brim of the governess' hat were soft and dark; her hair was +brown, and the damp wind had blown it into innumerable little curls and +tendrils about her temples, where it took on a ruddy sheen in the gas +light. Her nose was delicate and short; her mouth, which was not +small, was fascinating from the fact that the parting lips disclosed +two rows of perfect teeth. She had two dimples that came and went as +she smiled, and in her chin was a small cleft that was quivering a +little, Nan noticed. She thought the governess looked as if she were +going to cry. Her eyes seemed somewhat "teary round the lashes," and +there was no doubt about it--her chin was quivering. + +"Pooh!" thought Nan. "I might have saved myself all that worry. She's +as afraid as she can be. I guess I'll be able to manage her as easy as +pie." + +But now Mr. Turner was addressing her. + +"Nan," he was saying, "this is Miss Blake. Can't you welcome her to +her new home, my dear?" + +Nan hung back in awkward silence, but the new governess did not give +her the opportunity to make the moment an embarrassing one. She +stepped forward, and, taking the girl's hand in her own, said softly: + +"Mr. Turner has told me all about you. I hope we shall be very happy +together." + +She did not attempt to kiss her. + +Nan murmured an indistinct "Yes'm," and shrank back against the wall. +Delia stood beside the new governess with a very curious expression on +her face. For a moment there was silence, and then Mr. Turner broke in +upon it with: + +"I think it would be well if Miss Blake were to be shown to her room at +once. She is drenched with the rain and must be cold and hungry. Will +you be good enough, Delia, to get her something to eat while Nan takes +her upstairs?" + +Nan started forward quickly at the note of rebuke in the lawyer's voice. + +"Oh, won't you come to your room?" she asked. + +She vaguely wondered what made Delia look so strange and act in such a +dazed, uncertain fashion. She thought she must be a sad "'fraid-cat" +to be overawed by such a little personage as the new governess. + +"Now I will say good-night," said Mr. Turner to Miss Blake, as she +started to follow Nan above. "I hope," he added in an undertone, +taking her hand, "that you will be happy. Don't become discouraged. +Send for me whenever you need me. I am always at your service." + +She silently bowed her thanks. Somehow she found it difficult to speak +just then. She had been tired and cold before she entered the house, +but it seemed to her she had not known weariness or chill until now. +She felt herself shiver as she turned away from the lawyer and heard +the door close behind him. He seemed to be leaving her alone with an +enemy. + +Nan certainly looked anything but amicable. + +"Here's your room," she announced, as they reached the upper landing. +She flung open a door, and the new governess found herself stepping +forth into utter darkness, where Nan herself was groping about for +matches. The air of the place was cold and damp. It had the feel of a +room that was unused. It was barren and cheerless. But in the second +preceding Nan's discovery of the matches Miss Blake hoped that when the +gas was lit it would seem more inviting. But it did not. It was bare +and undecorated, and presented anything but an attractive appearance. + +The stranger drew two long pins from her hat without saying a word. +Nan turned on her heel and made to leave the room. + +"Will you please tell me where I can find some warm water?" inquired +Miss Blake. + +"Washstand in that little dressing-room. Left-hand faucet," announced +Nan, curtly, and marched away. + +The governess gently closed the door. + +Perhaps if Nan had remained there to see she would have wondered if +Miss Blake were quite in her right mind. Her behavior was certainly +extraordinary. The tears rained down her cheeks, and she did not try +to stop them. She just stood in the middle of the floor and gazed +about at the awkwardly-placed furniture, the faded carpet, the bare +walls, and the ugly mantel-piece as if she could not take her eyes from +them. She turned slowly from one thing to another, and presently, in a +sort of timid, hungry way, she stretched out her hand and touched each +separate object with her caressing fingers, crying very hard the while +and murmuring to herself in so low a voice that no one could have +overheard. + +Even Nan must have softened to her as she stood there crying softly and +smiling through her tears at this bare and unfamiliar room. Even Nan +must have been moved to wonder what Miss Blake had suffered that she +was so glad to get into such an uninviting shelter as this. + +But Nan was down stairs in the basement watching Delia prepare a dainty +supper for the governess, and scowling at her as she saw to what +trouble she went to make it appetizing and delicate. + +"There, Delia Connor!" she burst out resentfully, "you're the worst +turn-coat I ever saw in my life! This very afternoon you looked black +as thunder when you thought she had come, and now you are just dancing +attendance on her, as if she was the best friend you ever had!" + +"Perhaps she is," responded Delia, placing sprigs of parsley neatly +about the sliced chicken and setting the coffee-pot on the range. + +Nan tossed her head scornfully. "Well, I like that! I should think +you'd be ashamed! A perfect stranger like her!" + +Delia did not answer. She was crushing ice for the olives, and as Nan +spoke she bent her face over the table and pounded away in silence. +But when she had finished, she lifted her head and said, amiably: + +"Oh, you can't tell. By the looks of her I should think she is a +good-natured little body. She has the true eyes. When you see eyes +like that you can mostly be sure they've an honest soul behind 'em. I +shouldn't wonder if she'd be a good friend to any one who'd let her." + +"Huh!" sneered Nan, wrathfully, "that means, I s'pose, that you intend +to let her. Never talk to me of turn-coats any more, Delia Connor!" + +Delia caught up a coal-hod and strode deliberately off toward the +cellar stairs. When she came back she was laden down with kindlings +and coal. + +"What you going to do with those?" demanded Nan, imperatively. + +"Build a fire in the library. I guess a spark'll look good to the poor +little soul--coming in out of the cold and wet." + +This was the last straw. Nan's eyes flashed, and she tore after Delia +upstairs, scolding as fast as the words would come. + +"The idea! The idea! A fire! 'Poor little soul!' And many's the +time I've come in out of the cold and you haven't even as much as lit +the gas! Oh, no; never mind me! I can come in out of the cold till +every tooth in my head chatters, and you wouldn't care a straw. Why, +Delia Connor, we never have that fire lit. You just know we don't! +There hasn't been a fire in that grate since daddy went away! You know +very well there hasn't, and now the first thing you do is to light it +for that horrid governess-woman that's going to boss you 'round like +anything, and make me do all sorts of hateful things. I tell you what +it is, Delia Connor, you don't care a single thing about me. I know +just how 'twill be. You'll help her to do anything she wants to, and +you'll never stand up for me a bit. It's mean of you, Delia! It's +downright mean of you. And it's just because she's got those dimples +and things, and smiles at you as if you were her best friend. But she +needn't think she can manage me. I'm not going to be ordered about by +her, if she has got a soft voice and shiny eyes!" + +Nan and the fire sputtered and blazed as though they were trying to see +which could outdo the other, and Delia stood by looking first at this +one and then at that with a good deal less fear of the sparks from the +grate than of those from Nan's eyes. + +She knew better than to try to pacify the girl when her temper was at +such a white-heat, and she inwardly wondered what would happen if the +governess should come down while it was yet at its worst. As if in +answer to her question they heard the sound of an opening door above, +and immediately after Miss Blake's light steps upon the stairs. Nan +bit a word off square in the middle and set her lips tightly together. +Delia removed the "blower" from the grate and the dancing flames leaped +high up the chimney and sent a ruddy glow about the room. The only +sounds to be heard were the comfortable ticking of the tall clock in +the corner and the low purring of the fire behind its bars. Miss Blake +came down the hall and paused on the library threshold. + +"Oh, how jolly!" she cried, clapping her hands like a delighted child +and running forward eagerly to the hearth. "How perfectly jolly! +Don't you think an open fire is the most comfortable thing in the +world? And I always loved this one particularly--I mean this kind," +she corrected herself quickly. + +Nan made no response. She sat in her father's study-chair as stiff and +stolid as a lay-figure in a shop window, with her lips drawn primly +over her teeth. + +Miss Blake was, or pretended to be, unconscious of her attitude, +however, and went on talking as easily as though she had the most +appreciative of listeners. + +"When I was a little girl I used to love to cuddle down here on the +hearth-rug--I mean I used to love to cuddle down on the hearth-rug and +look into the burning coals. I used to see all sorts of wonderful +things in the flames. They used to tell me I'd 'singe my curly pow +a-biggin' castles in the air,' but I didn't mind, did I--I mean I +didn't mind," she caught herself up quickly. + +Delia coughed behind her hand and hurriedly left the room in order to +get Miss Blake's supper, which she meant to serve upstairs for the +occasion. + +As soon as she was gone the new governess turned toward Nan in a +strange apologetic sort of way and said: + +"I think, if you'll excuse me, I'll just cuddle down on the rug as I +used to do when--when I was a little girl. It seems so good to get +back--to an open fire that it makes me quite homesick. You won't mind, +will you?" + +Nan gave a grunt that was meant for "No," and the new governess plumped +down upon the floor with her chin in her palms and her elbows on her +knees, looking so much like a little girl that for a second Nan had a +wild impulse to plump down beside her and inquire, by way of opening +the acquaintance-- + +"Say, does your hair curl like that naturally--or does your mother put +it up at night?" or something equally introductory and to the point. +But of course she did no such thing, and when Delia reappeared she +found them regarding the fire in perfect silence. + +At the sound of her step Miss Blake lifted her head and gave Nan a +bewildering smile. + +"How stupid I have been! Do forgive me!" she said. "We have been +having what the Germans call 'an English conversation,' haven't we? I +was thinking so hard I quite forgot you--and myself. Ah, what a pretty +supper! But I put you to so much trouble," and she turned on Delia two +very grateful eyes, while she jumped to her feet with the lightest +possible ease. + +Delia beamed down upon her beatifically and gave an extra touch to the +dainty tray. Nan from her chair scowled darkly upon the whole +performance. Delia had deserted her cause; had gone over bodily to the +enemy--that was plain. But she needn't flaunt her defection in Nan's +very face. Why, it was positively disgraceful the way Delia fetched +and carried for this person already, and looked, all the while, as if +she could hardly keep from dancing for very joy at the privilege. +Well, this governess needn't think that Nan was the kind to be won over +by a few smiles and some flickering dimples. When Nan said a thing she +meant it and she stuck to it, too. She wasn't a turn-coat like some +folks she knew. + +"'Alas, alas! my dear old home--! To think that anybody who isn't +wanted should come and push herself like this into my dear old home! +Oh, father, her eyes are like--' Good gracious! all that description +part would have to be changed!" Nan pulled herself together with a +visible jerk. How could she speak of "needly eyes" when those of the +governess were so deep and soft and gray that they made you feel +like--no, they didn't either; but they weren't needly all the same. +No! That whole description part would have to be changed. Bother! +Well, if it came to that she guessed she could do it! "Her hated form +haunts me in my sleep, and I dream of her all night as I see her in the +daytime--little and dear, with her hair all shimmery and soft and her +eyes kind of kissing you softly all the time, and--" Goodness! that +would never do! Why it would be crazy to call on one's father to +rescue one from a person like that. Well, she'd leave out the +description altogether, that's what she'd do. She-- + +"Did you speak?" asked the governess, in her musical voice, turning +toward Nan inquiringly, and then the girl suddenly realized that she +had been mumbling her thoughts aloud. + +"No, I didn't," she responded, with irritation. "It was too bad," she +declared to herself it was, "that after all the trouble she had taken +to learn the thing by heart, she should be pestered to death by having +to make changes in it this way--at the last minute, too. Why wasn't +Miss Blake tall and lanky and needly-eyed and a fright, she'd like to +know? It was just like her, though! So contrary! To change about and +upset all Nan's plans. Well, as long as there was so much fuss about +the thing, she s'posed she'd give it up." + +"She's so little, it'll be easy enough to manage her. I guess it isn't +worth while. I can just say, to-morrow or next day, 'Miss Blake, I've +come to the conclusion you don't suit,' and she'll go right off. She +may cry a little, but I won't mind that; and if she begs to stay, I'll +say, 'Now there's no use teasing! When I once say a thing I mean it!' +and that will settle her once for all." + +Delia was pressing the governess to take more supper when Nan again +waked to what was going on about her. + +"Why, you don't eat any more than you used--I mean than a bird. Do +take a little more chicken, do! And a cup of coffee, nice and hot, +that's a good--lady!" + +It was really too humiliating! It was more than Nan could bear. She +sprang to her feet and without a word--with nothing but a glance of +withering scorn at Delia--swept out of the room and upstairs to bed. + +Miss Blake looked after her with strange, wondering eyes, but made no +attempt to follow her. She just turned to Delia and stretched out her +hands. + +"O Delia! Delia!" she faltered, brokenly. + +The woman came to her and took both the little hands in hers. "Bless +you, dearie!" she cried. "That I ever lived to see the day! There, +there, lamb, don't cry so, Allanah! See, I'm not crying, am I now?" +sobbed she, kneeling beside the stranger and hugging her knees wildly. +"Oh, but it's glad I am to see your dear face again! Now tell me all +about it--how you came to know we need you so bad?" + + + + +CHAPTER V + +GETTING ACQUAINTED + +Nan, in spite of the fact that she assured herself her heart was +broken, fell asleep as soon as her head touched the pillow. She slept +heavily customarily but to-night her rest was fitful and troubled. She +kept dreaming strange dreams that caused her to twitch in her sleep and +give queer little cries of distress and moans of fretfulness. +Sometimes she seemed to be trying to overtake something that was +constantly eluding her. First it was a long, lank creature with +piercing eyes and a knob at the back of its head which it seemed to be +Nan's duty, not to say pleasure, to shoot off with a paper of needles. +Then it was something she must recollect or be put to death for +forgetting; some awful harangue that she had been doomed to deliver +before Delia and a vast crowd of other people, all of whom were staring +at her regretfully and murmuring to one another that it was a shame +such a hoyden should be allowed to live; and again it was some dainty +little creature with tender eyes and shining hair that Nan longed to +follow but could not because of something inside her breast that held +her back and would not let her call. + +Miss Blake did not go to her room until very late. She and Delia kept +up a steady stream of conversation until long after midnight, and even +then the governess would not have paused if Delia had not been struck +with sudden compunction. + +"Dear heart alive!" she cried, scrambling to her feet hastily as the +clock chimed twelve. "Here you've been wore out with tiredness and +excitement and I keep you up till all hours pressin' you with questions +that you ain't fit to answer, just as if we wouldn't have time an' to +spare together for the rest of our lives, please Heaven! Now go to +bed, dearie, so you'll be all rested and fresh in the morning." + +Miss Blake shook her head. "No, not all the rest of our lives +together, Delia," she cried, hurriedly; "it can only be for a year at +most. You said it would be a year, didn't you? Well, then, you know I +could not stay after that." + +"Go to bed, dearie," was Delia's sole response. "And may you sleep +easy and have no dreams." + +She took her upstairs herself, just as if the governess had been a +little girl; and was not satisfied until she had brushed out the masses +of shining hair and woven them into a long, ruddy braid behind. Then +she smoothed the pillow lovingly and with another hearty "sleep well" +went down stairs to "do up" her dishes and get the house closed for the +night. + +When she finally stole up to her own room through the pitchy halls she +was glad to see that there was no light in the governess' room and that +all was darkness and silence within. + +"Good! She's asleep by this time, the dear!" murmured the faithful +soul, and was soon snoring peacefully herself, quite worn out with the +excitement of the evening. + +But Miss Blake was not asleep. Her eyes stared widely into the +darkness and her brain was spinning with all sorts of teasing thoughts. +She listened to the ticking of her watch beneath her pillow--to the +muffled chime of the tall clock in the room below--to the gentle rattle +of plaster inside the walls where some hidden mouse was scuttling in +search of a stolen supper, and tried to soothe herself into a doze but +failed and tried and failed again. + +Suddenly she sat bolt upright in bed. The sound she heard now was a +new one, and one that caused her flesh to tingle. It was the sound of +a stealthy hand upon her door. The knob turned noiselessly, the hinges +gave a faint whine, and there on the threshold stood a white-robed +figure, ghastly and spectral in the pallid light that fell upon it from +the cloud-freed moon outside. Miss Blake did not utter a sound and the +apparition glided forward with slow, measured steps until it stood +beside her bed. Its eyes were staring and wide and fixed. + +"It's Nan!" thought Miss Blake, not daring to speak aloud. + +The apparition did not remove its gaze. Presently it sighed. Then it +raised its head and spoke and its voice was weirdly low and mournful. + +"Alas, alas!" it wailed. "This is the worst thing that ever happened +to me in all my life. My dear old home! To think that anybody who +isn't wanted should come and push herself like this into my dear old +home! What does she know of the way I feel? I can never tell her how +I hate to have her here, for that would be unladylike. But oh, how I +hate it! No, I must keep my lips closed and bear her persecution in +silence." + +Two white hands were raised and wrung in a way that was truly tragic. + +"O father, father!" groaned the ghost, making wild grabs at its hair, +"come home from Bombay and save me from this awful woman. Turn her out +of the house. Make her go back where she came from. Her hated form +haunts me in my sleep and I dream all night of her as I see her in the +daytime." + +Miss Blake caught her breath in a struggling gasp of dread as to what +would come next. + +"Tall and thin and lanky, with hair all dragged into that ugly little +hard knob at the back of her head!" + +The ghost paused, and its uneasy hands clasped each other convulsively +while it showed plainly that it was confused in its mind and struggling +to grasp a thought it could not express. + +Miss Blake breathed a deep sigh of relief. She had really begun to +suspect that it was a vision of herself that was haunting Nan in her +nightmare. Of course now she knew better. For surely she was not +"tall and lanky," and her hair was certainly not "dragged into an ugly +little knob at the back of her head." How grateful she was it had not +proved to be herself. + +"O father! her eyes are like needles." + +Miss Blake could have shouted for joy. But who could this awful +bugbear be? + +"They prick me when she looks! Save me! Save me! my heart will break +if some one doesn't come and rescue me from this terrible person. Take +her away! She's coming at me with her needly eyes! Daddy! Daddy!" + +The uneasy spirit rocked backward and forward in the intensity of its +emotion. It stretched out its arms and wagged a threatening +forefinger, while it mumbled some unintelligible warning in a voice +that faltered and wavered, and then frayed off to a mere wheeze that +sounded suspiciously like a snore. + +Miss Blake would have risen if she had dared, but she dreaded the +effect even the slightest shock might have upon Nan, in what she never +doubted was a somnambulistic trance. But when the white-robed figure +turned slowly about and retraced its steps to the threshold, she +started up and noiselessly followed after to make sure that the girl +arrived safely in her own bed and showed no sign of further wandering +that night. + +Never was a passage from room to room made more deliberately, and when +the bed was reached the phantom scrambled into it, dragged the blankets +closely about her shoulders and with a sigh of satisfaction settled +herself to slumber. + +The governess crept back to her own room, thoroughly chilled and +shivering with nervousness. It was an hour or more before she felt +herself growing drowsy, but at last she dropped asleep and slept +heavily until long past the usual rising hour. + +Nan waked at her accustomed time, feeling tired and irritable. She +found Delia in the kitchen, preparing a tempting breakfast with more +than her habitual care. + +"Huh!" grunted the girl. "We have hot muffins every morning, don't we? +And griddle-cakes! and eggs, and scallops, and fried potatoes, too! +Oh, no! we're not making any fuss for the governess. Oh, no! none at +all! If I were you I'd be ashamed of myself, Delia Connor!" + +Delia pursed her lips together and made no retort. + +It did not improve Nan's temper to have to wait for her breakfast until +Miss Blake should appear. But Delia made no attempt to serve her, and +she was too proud to ask. Happily the delay was not too serious, and +the governess appeared at the dining-room door just in time to prevent +the muffins from falling and Nan's temper from rising. + +"Good morning!" said the cheery voice. + +"--morning!" snapped Nan. + +"I overslept," continued the governess apologetically; "and I am +thoroughly ashamed of myself. I beg your pardon. But I was very +tired. I did not sleep over-well the first part of the night." + +"You're not late--or--or anything," said Nan. "I never get up till I +feel like it." + +Miss Blake made no comment. + +"And how did you sleep?" she asked after a moment, her eyes laughing +mischievously as though in spite of her, while her face remained quite +sober. + +"All right," responded Nan, uncommunicatively. + +"No dreams?" + +The girl shook her head non-committally. + +"Now, I wonder whether I could tell you your dream," ventured the +governess, the light fading a little in her eyes. + +Nan did not encourage her to try. + +"You were being pursued by some awful creature--oh, quite a gorgon, I +should say!" + +The girl lifted her head. + +"This relentless creature was deaf to all your appeals, though you +appealed to her touchingly, something after this style: Alas, Alas! +this is the worst thing that ever happened to me in all my--" + +"Stop!" cried Nan, suddenly, with blazing eyes, "I didn't! I didn't! +Delia listened. She told on me. You're making fun of me, and you're +both of you just as mean as you can be, so there!" + +She started up from her chair, which she thrust behind her so roughly +that it fell to the ground with a bang, and rushed toward the door in a +fury of anger and mortification. + +Miss Blake sprang from her place and tried to detain her, crying: + +"Nan, Nan! What do you mean? I was only in sport! Come back, dear, +and let me tell you all about it." But the girl fled past her, +flinging her hand passionately away and spurning her attempt at +explanation. A moment later the street door flung to with a loud slam. + +The quick tears sprang to the governess' eyes, but she crushed them +back. + +"Don't mind her, dearie," said Delia, consolingly, but with an effort +and a sigh. "She ain't always like this. She's sorter upset just now. +She don't mean any harm, and she'll be sorry enough for what she's done +come lunchtime. Now, you see." + +"But I don't understand," Miss Blake cried. "She said you listened and +that you told me, and that we were both making fun of her. She thinks +we are in league against her. What can she mean? Why, I was only +repeating some nonsense she said in her sleep last night, and I thought +she would be amused to hear an account of it. She came into my room +and orated in the most tragic fashion. What does she mean by saying +you listened and told me?" + +Delia shook her head. What she privately thought on the subject she +would not have told Miss Blake for worlds. + +"If you take my advice," she ventured, "you won't mind what Nan says. +She's quick as a flash, but she's got a good, big heart of her own, and +it's in the right place, too. Just let her be." + +"Let her be?" interrupted Miss Blake, hastily, "not if this is the way +she is going to be. That is not what I am here for. I am here to +educate her, Delia, and I intend to do it." + +Delia could see that she meant what she said. There was a determined +expression about her mouth that would have surprised Nan if she had +seen it. But at noon, when she returned, the governess' face was as +placid as ever. She and Delia were discussing the price of butter in +the most intimate fashion possible, and Nan snorted audibly as she +heard them agree that it was ruinously high. + +Delia had played a poor enough part before, "kow-towing" to the enemy +the first thing, but now she had deliberately betrayed her--Nan. Had +"gone back on her" in the most flagrant fashion. It was the meanest +thing she had ever heard of and she'd pay Delia back, you see if she +wouldn't! To listen at key-holes and then go and tell-tale! + +"Have you had a pleasant morning?" Miss Blake asked, affably, as Nan +entered the room. + +She got a grudging affirmative, but nothing daunted she continued: "It +is so cold now there ought to be good skating. Perhaps you and I can +take a spin some day. Do you skate?" + +Again Nan answered "Yes," but this time there was a gleam of interest +in her tone. + +"When my trunk comes I must show you my skates. I think them +particularly fine: altogether too fine for one who skates as +indifferently well as I do. I am sure you will prove a much better +skater than I am. Somehow I fancy you are very proficient." + +"I like to skate, and I guess I can do it pretty well. My father +taught me--to do figures and things. I don't know any one who can +skate as well as my father!" said Nan, with pardonable pride. + +"I used to skate a great deal when I lived in Holland," Miss Blake +observed. "There every one is so expert that I used to feel like a +great bungler. Seeing others do so beautifully made me feel as though +I were particularly awkward, and I really did keep in the background +because I was so ashamed of my clumsy performances. Perhaps though, +that was only an excuse for my not being able to do better, and one +ought not to offer excuses, ought one? Is there any pond near here on +which we might skate?" + +Nan's eyes gleamed. + +"Why, yes," she said. "We could go to the Park, or if you didn't want +to go there, there's a sort of a pond they call the 'Steamer,' quite +near here. Lots of people skate on it, and it's lovely fun. And +there's a place the other side of the Boulevard, where you can coast +beautifully. It's a jolly hill. We take our bobs there, and--the boys +and me--and--" + +"I," suggested Miss Blake, casually--"the boys and I." + +Nan blinked her eyes. The correction, however, passed by unresented. + +"The folks here think it isn't nice for me to bob, and--and things. +They think it's rough!" + +"Perhaps," ventured Miss Blake, "that may be because they have seen it +done in a rough way, or by rough persons. You know a great deal +depends upon how you do a thing." + +Again Nan blinked her eyes. She was thinking as she had the night +before: + +"Pooh! I can manage her," while Miss Blake, quite unconscious of what +was going on in her pupil's mind, continued: "I think if the weather +holds, we may have some very good sport, you and I. Don't you think +so? And now run upstairs and smooth your hair and wash your hands, for +Delia will have luncheon ready very shortly, and one must make one's +self tidy for meals, you know." + +And then a very singular thing occurred. Nan found herself on the +stairs in obedience to the governess' command almost before she was +aware, and she proceeded to make herself tidy, with no thought of +refusal at all. + +But at luncheon came the first tug-of-war. + +Nan was about to repeat her performance of the morning, namely, to push +her chair aside when she had finished eating and unceremoniously leave +the table. + +"Oh, pardon me!" interposed Miss Blake, quickly. "Please remain at the +table! You were excused at breakfast, but I am sure there is no +necessity for your running away again. We must pay each other the +respect to remain seated until we have both finished eating. You see, +I am still drinking my tea, and you must allow me another of Delia's +delicious cookies." + +It was all said very gently, but Nan recognized beneath all the kind +suggestion an unmistakable tone of command. + +She thrust her chair back still further. + +"I don't want to wait!" she answered, dryly. "I hate sitting at the +table after I'm through. You can eat all the cookies you like, only I +don't want to wait." + +"Ah, but, my dear, I want you to wait," Miss Blake said. "I demand of +you no more than I myself am willing to do. We must be courteous to +each other, and if you had not finished eating I should most certainly +remain until you had. I expect you to do no less for me." + +"Well, I can't help it! I don't want to stay and I--I won't!" declared +Nan, with a sudden burst of defiance. + +"Very well," returned Miss Blake, calmly. "Of course, you are too old +to be forced to act in a ladylike manner if you do not desire to do so. +But, equally, I am too old to be treated with discourtesy and +disrespect. If you are willing to behave in a rude manner and bear the +reproach that you will deserve, why, well and good--or, rather, ill and +bad! But I cannot sit at table with any but gentle mannered people. +Unless you wish to behave as becomes a lady, we must take our meals +apart." + +There was no smile now on the governess' face. Nan suddenly got the +impression that perhaps it would not be quite "as easy as pie" to +"manage" Miss Blake. It seemed to the girl that for the first time in +her life she had encountered determination outside of her own. It +challenged her from every line in the governess' little figure. For a +moment she hesitated before it. Then, gathering herself together and +summoning her dumb demon, she gave her shoulders a sullen shrug and +left the room without a word. + +Miss Blake finished her luncheon as though nothing had happened. Then +she rose, and, going into the kitchen, said a few words to Delia--words +that caused the good woman to blink hard for a second and then +exclaimed: + +"Yes'm. I will. It hurts me to cross the child, but I s'pose it is +best. You have a brave spirit to set yourself against Nan. I wouldn't +have the stren'th, let alone the will. But I s'pose you know what you +can do." + +"Oh, yes, Delia," replied the governess, with conviction. "I know very +well what I can do, but I shouldn't know if I did not have you to help +me. We're both conspiring for Nan's good, and we have to work +together." + +The rest of the afternoon Miss Blake spent in unpacking her trunk and +in disposing of its contents. Beside the trunk there was a cumbersome +case, a hamper, and a large crate such as is used for the shipment of +bicycles. Delia gazed at it in wonderment. Did the governess use a +wheel? If so, what would Mrs. Newton say? Delia trembled at the +thought, and eyed the box with especial interest as it was being +carried down stairs and deposited in the basement hall closet. + +Nan wandered in about twilight and found the house cheerfully lighted +and warm and comfortable. There was a fire in the library grate, and +she threw herself into a chair before it and lounged there luxuriously, +while above her head the new governess was tripping to and fro, +"putting her room to rights," Nan suspected. She wondered about that +room. She would have liked to go up there and see if those skates had +arrived, but of course she could not do that. The governess must not +think she cared to see her when she wasn't forced to. No, indeed! + +Later Miss Blake came down stairs, and drawing her chair nearer the +lamp, commenced to sew. Presently up came Delia. + +"Miss Blake," she said, with an emphasis Nan noticed and did not like, +"your dinner is served." + +Nan jumped up with an exaggerated yawn. Her hair was rough and +disordered, her frock was rumpled and untidy, her hands were obviously +soiled. Miss Blake remarked on none of these things. She laid her bit +of needle-work upon the table and quietly passed down stairs before Nan. + +The table was set for one, and the governess seated herself before the +solitary place. + +Nan stood at the side of the table in stiff and silent amazement. + +"Where's my place, Delia?" she called, ignoring Miss Blake, except for +an angry flash of her eyes. + +But Miss Blake was not to be ignored. + +"I thought you had decided to dine alone," she said. "At least, that +was the impression you conveyed to me at luncheon. If you have changed +your mind, Delia can easily set your place. Shall she do so?" + +The question was simple, but Nan knew what it involved. She was +speechless with rage. Her face alternately flushed and paled, while +her lips twitched spasmodically. + +"I--I--hate you!" she cried at last, with breathless vehemence. +"You've no right here. When my father comes he'll send you right away. +You see if he don't!" + +She flung herself in a paroxysm of anger out of the room. + +Miss Blake ate her dinner, it is true, but perhaps it was scarcely +strange that her relish of it was not great. Every mouthful seemed to +choke her. Delia saw her hand tremble as she raised her tumbler of +water to her lips. + +"This'll make you sick, dearie, this striving with Nan. She'll never +give in! Her will is that strong." + +But the governess shook her head. + +Nan ate no dinner that night, and the next day she slept late; that is, +she remained in bed late. Lying there cross and unhappy, she heard +sounds of voices in Miss Blake's room. Occasionally there were other +sounds as well; sounds of hammering and the moving of furniture across +the floor. + +When Nan was "good and ready" she rose and strolled down stairs with an +air of nonchalance that was for Miss Blake's benefit, should she chance +to see. + +She found the dining-room in perfect order and the kitchen deserted. +No breakfast, hot and tempting, awaited her as of old. Delia was +evidently upstairs, and Nan was too stubborn to call her down. She +prowled about the closets and cupboards until she discovered some cold +oatmeal, a bit of meat also cold, and a slice of bread. These, with a +cup of chilling milk, she gulped down hastily and with a thorough +disrelish. + +"Ugh!" she exclaimed, "how I hate it--and her!" + +It was a cheerless morning. The temperature had risen and a thick rain +was falling. There was nothing to do out-of-doors so Nan remained +within. It was Friday, and one of Delia's sweeping days. She was shut +up in the draughty parlor with a mob-cap on her head "cleaning for dear +life," as she expressed it. After a brief experience of the cold and +discomfort of open windows and clouds of dust, Nan gave up trying to +talk to Delia and wandered out of the parlor as disconsolately as she +had wandered into it. By and by she heard Miss Blake's door open and +close and saw the governess come forth, leave the house, and walk +rapidly down the street. She turned in at the Newton's gate and +disappeared behind the vestibule door. Nan had flown to the window to +gaze after her. + +"Whatever can she want there," wondered the girl. + +The question bothered her. She had not been able to get direct news of +Ruth's condition because she had not dared inquire again after the way +she had been treated, but in a round-about manner she had heard that +the child had a fever. + +"What fever?" she wondered. "Do people die of fever? If she dies will +that be because I left her on the ground while I ran to get that +milkman to help carry her home?" + +Miss Blake was not gone long, but it was luncheon-time when she +returned. + +"Ah, good morning!" she said, pleasantly, to Nan, who happened to be in +the hall. "I have pleasant news for you. Your little friend Ruth +Newton is better, and her mamma says she would be grateful to you and +me if we would come in once in a while and help her to amuse the poor +child. Will you go with me to-morrow? Mrs. Newton said particularly +that she hoped you would." + +A curious expression flitted across Nan's face. + +"Mrs. Newton hates me," she announced. "She doesn't want me to see +Ruth." + +Miss Blake drew off her gloves carefully. + +"I have explained certain matters to Mrs. Newton, Nan," she said, "and +she is quite satisfied that she was partly mistaken in her judgment of +you the other day. She says that she is willing to apologize for some +of her accusations, and she has written you a little note. Now, come, +and we will both go down to luncheon. I see Delia is here to tell us +it is served." + +"She takes it for granted I'll go," thought Nan, and indeed she went +quite willingly, and what was more, remained respectfully seated in her +place until Miss Blake gave her permission to depart by rising herself. + + + + +CHAPTER VI + +WHEELS WITHIN WHEELS + +"I think, Delia," said the governess, as Nan was about to go upstairs, +"if you have an ax, or something of the sort, I'll try to unbox my +bicycle." + +Nan came to an abrupt halt. Bicycle! The word went through her with +an electric thrill, and sent her blood tingling. Then she dragged +herself unwillingly away. What had she to do with the bicycle of a +woman she hated. + +"O Nan!" Miss Blake exclaimed, before the girl's lagging footsteps had +carried her halfway up the staircase, "I'm sure your strong young arms +can help us with this big elephant. Will you lend a hand?" + +Now could the governess have suspected that that was precisely what Nan +had been longing to do? But she could not have lingered unless she had +been given the excuse by Miss Blake herself. Had the request been made +to serve as that excuse? + +Nan did not stop to question. She came flinging down stairs, two steps +at a time, and Miss Blake and Delia smiled above her head as she bent +down, wrenching and tugging with her main strength at the boards and +stubborn nails, too excited to know that half the force she used would +have served her better. + +"There! that's my bicycle!" announced Miss Blake, displaying the +beautiful machine with the pride of a possessor, when the last stay had +been unscrewed, and the slender wheel stood revealed in all the glory +of its spotless nickel-plate and rubber tires. + +Nan gazed at it in speechless admiration. It had been the dream of her +life to own such a machine, but she had pleaded for one in vain. Mr. +Turner had explained to her that what money he held in trust for her +was no more than served to pay for her running expenses. + +"You know your father is not a rich man," he had said, "and lately he +has met with losses. He wishes you to be brought up under home +influences rather than at a boarding-school among strangers. He +desires you to be well educated, and naturally all this costs. Your +father is willing to make many sacrifices that you may be well provided +for, but he is not able to indulge you in a matter like this of the +bicycle. I wish I did not have to refuse you, but I think with him, +that your most important need should be supplied first, and if after +that little remains for mere indulgence, you must be satisfied. By and +by you will see that his course is best, if you do not see it already." + +But Nan had never been able to feel that it was best that she should +not have a bicycle. Now that the new governess had come and had proved +so "horrid," she felt it still less. "Half the money she gets would +buy me a first-rate safety," she had thought often and often and often, +as she groaned over her father's perversity. + +But here was one of the wonderful affairs actually in the house, and if +it did not belong to her, what of that? What was it the governess was +just saying? + +"I am quite sure you could use this wheel if we should shift the saddle +up a bit, that is, if you care to ride. As soon as the ground is clear +I will teach you if you like." + +Nan's face was radiant. "Oh, I know how," she said. "I've practiced +lots on--on--a person's I know. Only it wasn't a--a--girl's wheel. +But I can ride." + +Miss Blake was rubbing down the slender spokes with a piece of chamois +skin. + +"You are welcome to use mine, then," she said simply. + +Nan choked out a meagre "Thank you." It was not a gracious +acknowledgment, but the governess accepted it, and really felt a glow +of satisfaction in having called out even so much as an acceptance of +her favor from her arbitrary young charge. + +"Small favors thankfully received," she thought with a smile at her own +humility. + +Nan stood leaning against the wall with her hands behind her, watching +the manoeuvres of the leathern rag as it flashed up and down the nickel +spokes and around and about the hubs, guided by the dexterous hand of +the little governess. + +"Yes, I think we can pass many a jolly hour on this machine," resumed +Miss Blake, "after the ground is clear of snow, and after we are clear +of our lessons. We'll begin our studies on Monday, Nan. That will be +commencing with the new week, and we must be very conscientious about +our work before we indulge in any play." + +"There!" thought Nan, with a rush of antagonism, "I might have known +she'd make some kind of a fuss before she'd let me use it. I guess +she's sorry she promised in the first place, and wants to kind of back +out of it. Oh, well, I might have known. Now she'll pile on lessons +and things till there's no time for anything else. That's her way of +getting out of it." + +But she made no comment. She stood kicking her heel against the +surbase, silently watching the sparkling machine. Presently she turned +and stalked upstairs without a word. + +Delia gave Miss Blake an apologetic glance, but the governess +composedly rose, and, stowing her property safely away against the +closet wall, closed the door upon it and with a kind word to the woman +beside her went upstairs as though nothing had happened. + +She knew what was in Nan's mind. She could read it as distinctly as if +the sudden wrinkles on her forehead and the quick set of her obstinate +jaw had been printed text. + +"Poor child!" thought the governess, "how she hates study and--me. How +she rebels against restraint. So she thinks I am trying to take back +my word. No wonder that makes her furious." + +She went into her room and closed the door, but after a moment she came +back and opened it again. + +"Nan might feel shut out," she said to herself, and so she left it +standing invitingly ajar that in case the girl cared to come in she +would not have to knock. She smiled to herself as she did it. She +knew well enough Nan would not care to come in. "Still there might be +a chance!"--she left the door open on the chance. + +The more Nan thought of Delia's baseness the more she inwardly raged +against it. She sat in her own room with her feet over the register +and munched caramels and nursed her grievance all the afternoon. Delia +was miserable. She had tried by every means in her power to win at +least a look from the girl, but all her attempts were repelled and she +was treated with an overbearance that cut her to the quick. At last +she could stand it no longer. She left her work and went upstairs "to +have it out with Nan" and be done with it. + +She knocked repeatedly at her bedroom door, but the girl obstinately +refused to utter the word of admittance. Delia was not to be daunted, +however, by this, and at last, turning the knob, she walked boldly in +and confronted Nan squarely. + +"See here, Nan," she began without waiting, "I want to know what's the +matter with you that you treat me so? Me that has waited on you hand +and foot and tended you night and day since you was a little baby?" + +The girl did not deign to raise her eyes from her book--or else they +were so rapidly filling with tears that she did not dare to do so. + +Delia gulped. "Can't you answer a civil question?" she faltered, +trying to be firm and failing utterly. + +Nan cast her book to the floor and sprang up to face the woman with +blazing cheeks and eyes that flashed angry fire. + +"You'd better ask me what's the matter, Delia Connor!" she burst out in +a trembling voice. "As if you didn't know! Do you s'pose I'll bear +everything? It's bad enough--your being such an awful turn-coat! You +went over to her side the first thing, and every time she bosses me you +just stand there and let her do it and never say a word. You let her +order me about like everything and never stand up for me a bit. Her--a +perfect stranger! Somebody you never saw in all your life before! But +that isn't the worst of it! Do you s'pose I'm going to stand your +coming to my door and listening at the key-hole when I was rehearsing +and then going and telling on me--telling her all I was going to do to +her, I'd like to know? You just wanted to get on the right side of +her, and it was the meanest thing I ever heard of in all my life. You +came and peeked at me when I was rehearsing and then went and told her, +and I s'pose you both laughed and had a fine time over it. You thought +you were very smart, didn't you? But you got there too soon, Delia +Connor, for I had made up my mind I wouldn't do it, so there! But now +you've both been so mean, I don't care who knows what I was going to +do. I hope you told her that I don't want her here. I hope you told +her every bit of that thing I learned by heart on purpose to recite to +her. I hope you repeated every word of it. It's true and I hope she +knows it. I hope--" + +"For the land's sake, Nan, do be still," broke out Delia at last after +a dozen futile attempts to stem the tide of the girl's anger. "I +didn't listen nor peek nor anything, and you scream so loud she'll hear +every word you say. You--now be quiet and let me speak--you walked in +your sleep last night. You went into her room and said off a whole lot +of balderdash to her--enough to set her against you for the rest of her +life--if she ever finds out you really meant it." + +Nan gave Delia an imploring, frightened look. + +"Delia," she gasped, breathlessly, "do you--do you think she heard?" + +Delia shook her head. + +"Couldn't say for the life of me," she replied. "Her door may have +been open when I came up; I didn't notice." + +Nan looked the picture of dismay. "Wait a minute!--I'll go see!" she +whispered earnestly, and tip-toed noiselessly into the hall. A second +later she returned, radiant with reassurance. + +"Her door is tight shut, and she's making so much noise inside her room +she couldn't possibly have heard. Sounds as if she was dragging trunks +around or something." + +"Perhaps she's packing to go 'way," suggested Delia, with a grain of +malice. + +Nan fairly jumped with--well, if it wasn't joy it was something equally +as moving in its way. "Oh, no, no!" she cried, in a sudden fever of +excitement. "I don't want her to leave--like that. Just think how +awful it would be to have her leave--like that! Can't you go to her +and say I'm--you're good friends with her. Delia, won't you please go +and tell her I didn't really mean to say off that speech at her. I +learned it before she came, and I meant to recite it, but when I found +that she was different--so little and kind of--different, I thought it +would be mean to do it, and I gave it up. Do go and tell her, Delia, +please, and oh, won't you hurry?" + +"Now see here, Nan," interposed the woman. "Our best plan is to wait +and see what she is going to do. If she hasn't heard, it's all right, +and telling her would only put the fat in the fire. On the other hand, +if she has heard and is packing up to go 'way, why, it wouldn't do much +good, I'm afraid, to try to stop her. With all being such a lady and +so gentle in her ways, she's got a mind of her own--I can see that--and +you won't be like to get her to change it. But she'll tell you +good-bye before she leaves, she's too much of a lady not to, no matter +how she feels, and then you can say your say, and I promise you +faithful I'll back you up." + +Nan saw the wisdom of Delia's counsel, and tried to content herself to +wait. But the suspense of every minute was awful, and she felt herself +growing frenzied under the strain. After a time the commotion in the +next room ceased, and all was quiet as the grave. "She's getting on +her hat now," gasped Nan. "She'll go away and think I'm a heathen and +all sorts of horrid things. And she hasn't got any friends or folks of +her own, and no house to go to but this. And I s'pose she's awfully +poor, because she wouldn't be a governess if she wasn't, and oh, dear! +I don't want to have any one be a beggar, and turned out of the only +roof they've got over their heads on my account. That's what makes me +feel so bad, Delia. That's the only thing. If she will go on her own +account I'll--I'll be glad, but--oh, she mustn't go this way!" + +Delia turned away her face to hide a smile. + +"There's nothing to do but wait," she insisted. "If I go in there and +tell her, and she hasn't heard, why it would only give you away; don't +you see?" + +Nan let herself down in her rocking-chair with a dismal drop. "O +dear!" she cried, "I never saw anything like it! The way things go +wrong in this house! It's just perfectly horrid! I wish I was with my +father, I do so! I guess it's nicer in India than it is here, anyway; +and I'm sick and tired of living cooped up in this old stuffy place. +So there!" + +Delia dusted some imaginary dust off the table with the corner of her +apron, and went down stairs to finish up her work. + +In the street below the huckster was yelling "Chestnuts! Fresh-roasted +chestnuts!" The little charcoal oven in his push-cart sent out a +shrill, continuous whistle, and Nan had an impulse to throw something +at him. What business had he to come here and make such a racket that +she couldn't hear what was going on in the next room. He passed slowly +down the street, his call and the whistle of his oven growing fainter +and fainter, and finally fading quite away as he disappeared in the +distance. Nan pricked up her ears. Surely the sounds she heard were +those of moving feet in the next room. Back and forth they went, now +nearer, that was to the closet, now further away again, that must be to +the bureau. What could the governess be doing? The lid of her trunk +was dropped, and Nan could distinctly hear the click of the catches as +they fell in place. There was no further doubt about it! Miss Blake +was going. A moment later, and before Nan could collect her wits, the +door of the next room was briskly opened and closed, and the governess, +hatted and cloaked, sped quickly from the house. + +Nan flew to the balusters with a hasty cry upon her lips, but was just +in time to see the door swing heavily to; and that was all. She flung +herself down stairs two steps at a time. + +"There now, Delia Connor," she cried, bursting into the kitchen with +such vehemence that the very tins rattled on their shelves. "There, +now! What did I tell you? She's gone--Miss Blake's gone. Trunks +packed--! Everything's packed! She'll send men to get them. She's +gone clean off. I told you what it would be, and you wouldn't go and +speak to her. And now my father will be disgraced, and Mr. Turner will +blame me, and--it's all your fault, and I'll tell my father; so there!" + +Delia's face paled suddenly. She set her lips together tight. + +"It's well you have some one to lay the blame on, child!" she said +shortly, and went upstairs without another word. Nan did not care to +follow her into the governess' room, but stood outside and waited to +hear her verdict when she should have examined the premises. + +"Well?" asked the girl, eagerly, as soon as she came out. + +"Her trunk's shut and locked, that's certain!" + +"Then she's gone for good!" + +"She's gone. There ain't a doubt about that!" + +"You said she would surely say good-bye, Delia Connor, you know you +did. You said no matter how she felt, she was such a lady she'd be +certain to say good-bye!" + +"Well, and I really thought so. I believe now she'd have said +good-bye, if--" + +"If I hadn't been such a--brat? Say it right out, Delia! You mean it +and you might as well say what you think," broke in the girl bitterly. + +Delia turned on her heel and stalked grimly down stairs. A second +later she heard a rush of flying feet behind her, and the next moment +two arms were locked about her neck. + +"Poor old Delia," cried Nan, in one of her sudden bursts of remorse. +"I'm the horridest girl that ever lived! I know it as well as you do, +and if you weren't the patientest thing in the world you wouldn't stand +it for a minute. But don't you go away from me too, Delia! Please +don't! Honest Injun, I'll try to behave! Cross my heart I will. And +I tell you this much, I feel just awfully about Miss Blake. I +shouldn't wonder a bit but it would snow tonight, and she hasn't a +place to go and no money, and--O dear! I feel like a person that ought +to be in jail!" + +Delia extricated herself gently from the clinging arms. "What makes +you think Miss Blake's as poverty-stricken as that?" she asked. + +"Oh, I don't know," responded the girl. "But I just feel she is. And +she is so little too. She looked so glad to get into this house that I +guess she never had much of a place to stay before." + +"She don't dress like a person that's next-door to a beggar," mused +Delia. + +"No, she doesn't. She has really pretty things, hasn't she? But I +guess they're made over and cast-off, or something. Maybe the lady she +lived with last gave them to her?" speculated Nan. + +"Maybe she did," said Delia. + +The two made their way slowly down to the kitchen. It was beginning to +grow dark and the dinner must be prepared. + +"I never in all my life saw such little hands and feet," the girl +pursued. "And she's dreadfully particular about them. There's never a +speck on her fingers that she doesn't run right up and scrub them, and +she wears the cunningest slippers I ever saw." + +"I guess she comes of nice folks," said Delia, as she began to peel the +potatoes. + +"Wonder why she doesn't stay with them then?" put in Nan. + +"Perhaps they're dead." + +Nan pondered. Her own motherless life had given her a very tender +sympathy for those whose "folks" were dead. For the first time she +felt sorry for Miss Blake. She was uneasy and distressed. It made her +shift about uncomfortably in her chair. + +"Goodness me!" she ejaculated impatiently at last, and then one of her +wild impulses took possession of her and she ran frantically up into +her own room and flung on her coat and hat. + +"The whole thing's as plain as preaching. Why didn't I think of it +before?" she said to herself, with a shake of impatience. "Mr. Turner +told Miss Blake if she was worried or anything to go to him. She +hasn't any money, and she's left here, so of course that's where she +is. I'll go and bring her back." + +The front door opened and shut with a bang, and Nan was out in the +street alone. As she scudded down the pavement the electric lights +suddenly gleamed out pale and vivid from their lofty globes, and sent +wavering shadows flashing across her path. + +"It's pretty late and it'll be dark as a pocket in a little while," +thought she; but that did not detain her, and she raced on, putting +block after block between her and home in her ardor to make reparation +and to lighten her heart of its weight of compunction. + + + + +CHAPTER VII + +OPEN CONFESSION + +Nan knew the way to Mr. Turner's house perfectly, though she had not +been able to give Mrs. Newton the street and number. She was observing +and clear-headed, and could have been trusted to find her way about the +entire city alone, but her father had often cautioned Delia and the +girl herself against putting her power to the test, and so it happened +that until now she had never been any considerable distance away from +home after twilight without a companion. The way was perfectly +familiar to her--but it had never seemed so interminably long. She +could have taken a car, but in her haste to get off she had forgotten +her pocketbook. She saw the "trolleys" fly past her in quick +succession, and it seemed to her they whizzed jeeringly at her as they +sped. She was by nature so fearless that even if the street had not +been thronged she would not have been afraid. As it was she was only +alarmed lest she would get to Mr. Turner's and find Miss Blake gone. + +She hurried on breathlessly, fairly skipping with impatience and +wondering what explanation she could give the lawyer in case the +governess had not told him the real reason of her departure. Somehow +it flashed into Nan's mind that Miss Blake would not expose her. She +was busied with this reflection as she turned off the broad, +well-lighted thoroughfare into the dimmer side-street upon which Mr. +Turner lived, and she ran up the steps of his house with the question +still unsettled. It was not a moment before the door was opened to her +and she was admitted to the warm, luxuriously furnished drawing-room. +It was Nan's ideal of a house: "all full of curtains and soft carpets +and beautiful things." She seated herself before the burning log-fire +with a sensation of deep well-being--only it was a little over-shadowed +by her worry about the governess. + +"Well, my little lady, and what brings you here at this time of day?" +was Mr. Turner's greeting, as he strode across the room to meet her. + +"O Mr. Turner!" began Nan, bluntly, "I came to see you about Miss +Blake. I want to know--I wonder if you--" + +"Indeed! And how is that charming lady? You must tell her I had hoped +to see her before this, but I have been unusually busy, and every +moment has been taken up. Now tell me, isn't it as I said? Hasn't she +completely won your heart? Aha! I see she has! I see she has!" + +Nan flushed and stammered, and did not reply. Inwardly, she was in a +turmoil. Either Miss Blake had not come here at all or the lawyer was +trying to baffle her. And if Miss Blake had not come here, then where +was she? A sort of dumb terror took hold of the girl and shook her +from head to foot. + +"You see I was right," pursued the lawyer, cheerfully. "I knew you +would surrender to her the first thing. Every one does. I think I +never knew any one who was more universally loved. Now, how can I help +you, my dear? Give you some extra pin-money to buy Miss Blake a +Christmas present, eh? Is that it?" + +Nan caught at the suggestion eagerly as being a way out of her +difficulty, and nodded a gulping assent. + +"Well, you needn't have traveled all this distance for such a simple +matter, my dear," he assured her genially. "And after dark, too! A +note would have served, you know; a note would have served. But I'm +glad you like her so well, and you shall have the money at once. Your +father would be delighted I am sure." + +It was only after Nan had been gone some time that Mr. Turner +remembered with a start that she was alone and that it was night. It +was too late then to overtake her, so he had to resign himself with the +thought that the girl was admirably self-reliant, and that her way lay +almost entirely along well-lit and busy avenues. + +The thought of danger did not occupy Nan for a moment. Her only fear +now was for the governess. If she wasn't at Mr. Turner's, then where +was she? She asked herself this question over and over again. The +girl blushed as she thought of the untruth she had been guilty of in +implying that the lawyer's suggestion had been her motive in coming to +him. She sharpened her pace, as if to outstrip the memory of her +misdeed, but it, with her other worry, seemed to pursue her, and +presently her imagination so quickened at the thought that she actually +fancied she heard some one behind keeping step with her. She broke +into a brisk run. Clap! clap! came the sound of hastening feet behind +her. With a sort of tortured courage she slackened her pace. Whatever +was following her also took a slower gait. She cast a furtive look +over her shoulder and gave a horrified gasp as her eyes squarely +encountered two other eyes, which were fixed upon her own in an +insulting leer from beneath the rim of a rakish felt hat which was worn +tilted on the side of a very unprepossessing head. The eyes, bad as +they were, proved the best feature in a thoroughly vicious face, and +for the first time in her life Nan felt frightened--chokingly +frightened. She would have rushed on, but a stealthy hand held her +back. + +"Don't try to run away from me, little lady!" said an unsteady voice in +her ear in a tone that was intended to seem engaging. "Don't try to +run away from me, if you please. I wouldn't hurt you for the world, +no, indeed." + +Nan shook herself free from the disgusting touch and hurried on without +a word. Her hateful shadow kept abreast with her. + +"You ain't afraid of me, are you?" he asked reproachfully. + +Nan made no response. Her feet seemed to cling to the pavement. Every +time she lifted one it was with an effort. + +"Oh, come now," whined the voice in her ear, "don't go on like this. I +ain't going to hurt you. I'm only a poor man who would be grateful for +a penny or two. By the way, where's your pocket-book?" + +Nan leaped suddenly aside, and as she did so she missed her footing, +and a cry of pain burst from her lips. A sharp pang shot from her +ankle to her knee, and when she tried to take another step she found +the darting agony returned. But stop she could not. Her face grew +gray and lined with misery as she dragged forward, saving her injured +ankle as much as she could, but always having to torture it intolerably +with every onward limp. Her persecutor caught up with her promptly, +and she cast beseeching looks for deliverance on every side, which the +hurrying, preoccupied crowd was too intent on its own affairs to see. +If only she could see a policeman! She knew what she would do. She +would make believe she was going past him and then suddenly veer about +and say, "Officer, this man is annoying me!" and before he had time to +realize what she had done the rowdy would be arrested. But no +policeman was in sight, and her fine scheme could not be carried out. +Suddenly in the midst of her agony of mind and body her heart gave a +wild bound of unspeakable relief. + +"Miss Blake! Miss Blake!" she almost shrieked. + +"Nan!" + +The little governess was beside her in a flash, her own face almost as +white and seamed as the girl's. + +[Illustration: The little governess was beside her.] + +"O Miss Blake! this man--make him go away; make some one send him away. +He's annoying me--and my foot!" + +The governess grew if possible a shade paler. "What man?" she demanded +sharply, "Where?" + +Nan could not speak. She indicated with a mute gesture. Miss Blake +looked behind her, but if there had actually been such a man as the +girl described he must certainly have taken to his heels. They were +standing alone in the midst of the hurrying crowd. + +"O Nan!" cried the governess, not stopping to argue the question, +"where have you been? Delia and I have been frantic with worry. She +is out now hunting for you. She went one way and I another." + +Nan could not reply. The torture in her ankle grew fiercer with every +movement. She shook her head silently and limped on. + +"You are hurt! You are in pain!" cried Miss Blake, now for the first +time really realizing her condition. + +Nan nodded dumbly. + +"Take my arm; no, lean on my shoulder! There, that's better! Bear +down as hard as you can and use me as your crutch! I'm strong. I +won't give out." + +And a right good support she proved. Happily they were but a stone's +throw from home, and it was not long before Nan was comfortably settled +on the library lounge, luxuriously surrounded by all sorts of downy +cushions and having her injured ankle bound in soothing cloths by the +tenderest of hands. Delia, full of sympathy and the desire to help, +was bustling about nervously, tripping over bandages and upsetting +bottles of liniment, but meaning so well all the while that one could +not discourage her. + +"It is only a strain. You have turned your ankle badly and the muscles +have been wrenched, but I don't think it is an actual sprain," said +Miss Blake, consolingly. "However, if the pain is still bad to-morrow, +we'll have a doctor in to look at it. Do you still have Dr. Milbank, +Delia?" + +Nan sat bolt upright with surprise. + +"How funny!" she cried. "However in the world did you know Dr. Milbank +was our doctor? Why, we've had him for years and years. Ever since I +was born and before, too. But how could you know?" + +Delia hurried out of the room muttering something about the dinner, and +Miss Blake bent her head over the bandage she was rolling. + +"He lives so near," she replied haltingly. + +"I've seen his sign often as I passed and--and--perhaps that is why I +thought he might be your physician. He's so convenient--within call. +It is hard to tell what makes one jump at conclusions sometimes." + +Nan sank back among her cushions not half satisfied. "Dr. Pardee lives +near, too. Just as near as Dr. Milbank does," she persisted. + +The governess made no response, and just then Delia came staggering in +under the weight of a huge brass tray which she bore in her arms. + +Miss Blake jumped to her feet. "We're going to have a dinner-party up +here to-night, Nan," she said. "Won't it be fun?" and she set to work +unfolding a strange foreign-looking stand that Nan had never seen +before and upon which Delia carefully placed the tray. + +"Why, what a dandy little table it makes!" exclaimed Nan, admiringly. +"Where did it come from?" + +"I brought it from London, but it was made in India," explained Miss +Blake. + +Nan's eyes softened. "Where papa is!" she murmured softly to herself. +"You have lots of nice things," she added, after a moment. "These +pillows are downright daisies. I s'pose they belong to you." + +The governess served her with soup. "They are yours whenever you care +to use them," she returned in her quiet way. + +"It's jolly having dinner up here," said Nan, not quite knowing how to +respond to such a generous offer. + +"Yes, isn't it?" assented the governess. + +"Mrs. Newton don't use her basement for a dining-room, and neither does +Mr. Turner. I wish we didn't. I think it would be perfectly fine if +we could have ours up here, too." + +"Why couldn't you?" + +The girl leaned forward with a look of real interest in her face. + +"Do you think we might?" she asked eagerly. + +"I don't see why not. The books might be shifted to the other room. +This might be re--well, re-arranged, and I'm sure it would make a +charming dining-room." + +"But that ugly old glass extension back there!" protested Nan in +disgust. "Who wants to look at a lot of old trunks and broken-up +things when one is eating? If we could only pull it down." + +Miss Blake considered a moment. + +"Why not take all the old trunks and broken-up things out entirely and +make a conservatory of it. It faces the south. Plants would grow +beautifully there." + +Nan clapped her hands. "Why, that's perfectly splendiferous," she +cried. "I never should have thought of it. I say, Miss Blake, let's +do it right away, will you? I love flowers." + +"Would you take care of them?" demanded the governess with a thoughtful +look. + +"Uh-huh!" nodded Nan, heartily. "I guess I would!" + +"Very well, then," returned Miss Blake encouragingly, "I'll think about +it. Perhaps Delia wouldn't consent. You know there is no dumb-waiter +in the house, and if she had to carry up all the dishes at every meal, +it would more than double her work." + +Nan's face fell. "O dear!" she complained. "What a horrid old house! +Can't do a single thing with it! It would have been such fun to change +everything about!" + +Miss Blake laughed. "Oh, if that was all your reason for wanting the +improvements," she retorted. "I thought you wanted to gratify your +sense of the beautiful." + +"Well, I do," declared Nan. + +"Then we'll see what can be done," and the governess set down her glass +of water with a very knowing smile. + +After dinner was eaten and Delia had carried away the tray and Miss +Blake removed the wonderful folding stand, the governess looked up +suddenly and said with unusual gravity: + +"Nan, while I am here I hope you will never run out after dark alone +again. It is dangerous. Do you understand me, my dear?" + +The girl's eyes dropped. Yes, she understood perfectly. When the +governess spoke in that low, decided voice it would have been hard to +mistake her meaning. + +"I had to go to-night," Nan answered, in a suddenly sullen voice. + +"If you had waited a few moments I could have, and most willingly would +have, gone with you. Never hesitate to ask me. I am always at your +service. That is what I am here for." + +Nan hesitated. "I--I thought you had gone away--for good," she +stammered, lamely. + +Miss Blake flushed. "What made you think I had gone away for good?" +she asked, slowly repeating the girl's words. + +Nan shook her head and gulped. + +"I was in my room," continued the governess, after a pause, "and I +heard--" + +Nan put out both hands. "I know it! I know it!" she gasped. "But I +didn't mean what I said--I didn't, honestly and truly. Before you came +I learned it off, and I meant to say it, but that was before I saw you. +I feel different now, and I hope--I hope--" + +Miss Blake's hand was laid quietly on hers. "Wait a moment, Nan. +Don't go on till you know what I was going to say. You seem to be +trying to explain something that perhaps you might regret later. You +think I overheard something you would rather I did not know? What I +was going to say is this: I was in my room this afternoon and I heard a +man crying 'Chestnuts!' It carried me back to the time when I was a +little girl and used to roast them in this very--" she hesitated, then +added slowly, "town. So I went out to buy some, that we might have a +little jollification together with nuts and apples and perhaps a cookie +or two, if Delia would give them to us. That is why I went out." + +Nan twisted her fingers and looked down. "And I went out because you +did," she faltered. "I thought you had gone away, and I went to Mr. +Turner's to bring you back--if you would come. Say, now, didn't you +hear what I said to Delia? I was awfully mad, and I guess I spoke out +loud enough so folks on the next block could have heard. Honest now, +didn't you?" + +Miss Blake did not answer at once, and Nan could see that a struggle of +some sort was going on in her mind. When she raised her face her eyes +were very grave. + +"Yes, Nan, I did hear!" she confessed, honestly. + +The girl's cheeks blazed with sudden shame. + +"And yet you weren't going to leave?" she said. "You were only going +to do a kindness to me?" + +Miss Blake shook her head. + +"Dear Nan," she answered, smiling wistfully, "a good soldier never runs +away for a mere wound. He stays on the field until he has won his +battle or--until--he is mortally hurt. I do not think you will ever +wish to cut me as deeply as that, and so--and so--I will stay +until--the general orders me off the field. The day I hear that your +father is to come back, that day I will resign my position in this +house. Until then, however, you must reconcile yourself to my presence +here, and I think we should both be much happier if you would try to do +so at once, my dear." + + + + +CHAPTER VIII + +NAN'S HEROINE + +The strain Nan had given her ankle proved more serious than either she +or Miss Blake had expected. It threatened to keep her chained to the +sofa for days to come, and the girl's only comfort lay in the thought +that now, of course, the governess would not force the question of +study, and after she was up and about again she might be able to +dispose of it altogether, and save herself any more worry on that score. + +But Monday came, and, true to her word, Miss Blake appeared in the +library after breakfast with an armful of school-books, to which she +kept Nan fastened until luncheon time. It was perfectly clear that +there was no escape. Miss Blake was armed with authority, and the girl +knew herself to be under control. She fretted against it so +persistently that if the governess had not had an enduring patience she +must have despaired over and over again under the strain of Nan's +sullen tempers, fierce outbreaks, and lazy moods. There were moments +when the girl seemed to be fairly tractable, but there was no knowing +when the whim would seize her to fall back into her old ways, so that, +at the best of times, Miss Blake did not dare relax her control. Then +Nan would kick her heels sulkily, and comfort herself with the thought +that when her father came home all this would be put an end to. Miss +Blake would go. Hadn't she said so herself? And that would finish up +this studying business quick enough. She could cajole her father +easily into letting her stay away from school, and then--here she would +be, as happy as you please, with only those two, Delia and her dear +daddy, to look after her, and no one at all would say no to anything +she might choose to do. It was a blissful prospect. In the meantime +there were lessons, and--Miss Blake. + +But after a few days Nan found that, somehow, the lessons were not so +hard after all, and she never would have believed that they could be so +interesting. While as for Miss Blake--Well, a woman who sits reading +"Treasure Island" and such books to one for hours together can't be +regarded entirely in the light of a nuisance. + +"I never knew geography was so nice before," Nan admitted one day after +lessons were over. "I used to hate it, but now, why it's downright +jolly! I never saw such beautiful pictures! Where in the world did +you ever get so many?" + +"I took them myself!" + +Nan's eyes widened. "Why, have you been to all these places?" she +asked, not a little awe-struck. + +Miss Blake confessed she had. + +"And you took all these photographs your own self?" persisted the girl. + +The governess laughed. "I'm like George Washington, Nan," she said. +"I cannot tell a lie! I did them with my little--Kodak!" + +Nan fairly gulped. She would have said "Jiminy!" but she knew Miss +Blake disapproved of "Jiminy!" and somehow, she was willing to humor +her just now. + +"Only," went on the governess, "it isn't a little Kodak at all. It is +a very fine camera indeed. Some day, if you like, I will show it to +you, and then, perhaps you will be interested enough to care to learn +how to take some photographs yourself." + +Nan bounced up and down on the sofa with delight. "Oh, won't I, +though!" she exclaimed feverishly. "Just won't I!" + +"But mind you, my dear," warned Miss Blake. "If you once undertake it, +I want you to persist. It is not to be any +'You-press-the-button-and-we-do-the-rest' affair. I want you to learn +to finish up your work yourself. Do you think you will care to take so +much trouble?" + +Nan nodded energetically. + +"Very well, then. So it stands. If you are willing to learn I'll +gladly teach." + +"Who taught you?" asked the girl curiously. + +Miss Blake shook her head. "Just a man whom I paid for his trouble," +she returned simply. "I wanted to learn, and so I went into a gallery +and got some experience, and then came away and experimented on my own +account. It has taken me years, and I am still working hard at it, for +I believe in never being satisfied with anything less than the best one +can do." + +Nan blinked. She herself believed in being satisfied with whatever +came easiest, unless it was in the way of some sport, where she liked +to excel. + +"How jolly it must be to travel about--all over the world," said she, +musingly. "When I'm grown up I guess I'll be a governess, or a +companion, or something, just as you are, and get a place with some +awfully nice people who will take me everywhere. Was it nice where you +were before you came here? Were there any girls? Why did you leave?" + +Miss Blake looked troubled, but Nan was not used to noticing other +people's moods, and did not even stop to hear the replies to her own +questions. "If you've been all over the world, you'll know where my +father is, and can tell me about it. Oh, do, do! Show me some +pictures of India, won't you please? Just think, I haven't seen my +father for two years, and he won't be home until next autumn--almost a +year from now. You ought to see him! He is the best man in the +world--only I guess he is lonely, because my mother died when I was a +baby, and he hasn't any one to keep house for him but Delia and me. +Mr. Turner says he has lost a lot of money lately, too. I guess that's +why he went to India. If I had been older he would have taken me. But +he had to leave me here with Delia. Delia has been in our family, for, +oh, ever so many years. She first came to live here when my mother was +a young girl. She says it was the jolliest house you ever saw. My +grandfather and grandmother were alive then, and mamma had a young +friend, who was an orphan, who lived with them. They loved her just as +if she had been their own child, and she and my mother were so fond of +each other that--well, Delia says it was beautiful to see them +together. And such times! There were parties and all sorts of things +all the time till, Delia says, it was a caution. My grandfather wasn't +very well off, and lots and lots of times my mother wouldn't have been +able to go to the parties she was invited to, if it hadn't been for +that friend of hers, who used to give her the most beautiful +things--dresses, and gloves, and all she needed. She had loads of +money, and every time she got anything for herself she got its mate for +my mother. Don't you think that was pretty generous?" + +Miss Blake bit her lip. "One can't judge, Nan," she said. "If your +mother shared her home with this girl and she had money and your mother +had not, I think it was only right that they should share the money +too. No, I do not think it was generous." + +Nan tossed her head. "Well, I think it was and so does Delia," she +retorted hotly. + +"It is easy enough to give when one has plenty," pursued the governess, +almost sternly. "But when one has little and one gives that--well, +then it is hard and then perhaps one may be what the world calls +generous, though I should call it merely grateful." + +Nan did not understand very clearly. She thought Miss Blake meant to +disparage her mother's friend, the woman she had been brought up to +think was one of the noblest beings on earth. She felt angry and hurt +and almost regretted that she had confided the story to her since she +made so little of her heroine's conduct. + +"I don't care; I think she was perfectly fine and so does Delia. My +mother just loved her and I guess she knew whether she was generous or +not. When she went away my mother was wild. She cried her eyes out. +But she married my father soon after that, and then--well, my +grandmother died and then my grandfather, and I was born and my mother +died and--O dear me! it was dreadful. Delia says many and many a time +she has gone down on her knees and just prayed that that girl would +come back, but she has never come and she won't now, because it is +years and years ago and maybe she's dead herself by this time. Do you +think Delia would have prayed for Miss Severance to come back if she +hadn't been the best and most generous girl in the world?" + +Miss Blake smiled faintly. "That settles it, Nan!" she declared. "If +Delia wanted her back she must at least have tried to be good. And +even trying is something, isn't it? And now, how do you think luncheon +would taste?" + +Nan was more than ever inclined to be sulky. Her loyalty was touched. +Not alone did Miss Blake fail to appreciate her heroine, but she showed +quite plainly that she did not want to hear about her. "All the time I +was talking she fidgeted around and looked too unhappy for anything. I +guess she needn't think she's the only one in the world that can make +people love her. I don't think it's very nice to be jealous of a +person you never saw. Pooh! I like what she said about trying to be +good. I guess Delia knows," said Nan. + +They ate their luncheon together in the library, and after they had +finished Miss Blake excused herself and went upstairs to prepare to go +out. + +"After being in the house all the morning one needs a change," she +said, "and it would be a sin to spend all of this glorious day indoors." + +Nan sighed. How she longed to get away herself. But of course that +was impossible, with this old troublesome ankle bothering her. If she +could not step across the room, how could she hope to get into the +street? O dear! When would it be well? + +Miss Blake was tripping about upstairs and Nan could hear her singing +as she went. Delia was up there, too. When Delia walked the +chandelier shook. + +"She follows Miss Blake about so, it's perfectly disgusting," thought +the girl resentfully. "Now, I wonder what she wants in my room. I +don't thank either of them for going poking about my things when I'm +not there, so now! Well, I'm glad she's coming down, at any rate." + +The governess appeared in the library a moment later, but Nan could +scarcely see her face, she was so overladen with wraps and rugs. She +turned the whole assortment into a chair, and before the girl could ask +a question, she found herself being bundled up and made ready for the +street. + +"What are you doing?" she gasped out at length. "You know I can't +walk." + +"Nobody asked you, sir!" quoted the governess, gayly. + +"Then what are you putting on my things for?" + +"Ready, Delia?" sang out Miss Blake, cheerfully. + +Nan heard the front door open. Then heavy steps came clumping along +the hall, and in another moment she was being borne down the outer +steps and set comfortably in a carriage by the good old Irish coachman, +Mike, from the livery stable round the corner. + +"Are you comfortable?" asked Miss Blake, with her foot on the step. +"Have you everything you need?" + +Nan nodded, and the governess, taking her place beside her, motioned to +Michael, who climbed to his seat on the box, and off they drove. + +"There is Delia at the window! Let's wave to her!" cried Miss Blake, +with one of her happy girl-hearted laughs. + +It seemed to Nan that she had never seen the Park look as beautiful as +it did to-day. To be sure, most of the trees were bare, but the naked +branches stood out delicate and clear against the blue of the +violet-clouded sky and by the lake-shore the pollard willows were gray +and misty, and a few russet maple trees still held their leaves against +the sweeping wind. They saw numberless wheels spinning along the +smooth paths, and though the governess said nothing, Nan knew she had +given up this chance of a ride for her sake. + +Impulsively she put out her hand and laid it on Miss Blake's. + +"If it weren't for me you'd be on your wheel now, wouldn't you?" she +asked. + +"Yes," came the answer, prompt as an echo. "But as it is I'm not on my +wheel, and it so happens that I'm doing something that gives me much +more pleasure." + +"If I had a bike it would make me simply furious to have to give up a +ride such a day as this," said Nan. + +"Then isn't it rather fortunate you haven't one?" asked Miss Blake, +saucily. "But seriously, Nan, why haven't you one?" + +Nan set her jaw. "My father can't afford it," she said proudly. + +The governess turned her head to look at a faraway hill, and there was +an embarrassing little pause. When she faced about again Nan could see +that her chin was quivering, and in a spirit of tender thoughtfulness +quite new to her, she hastened to change the subject since Miss Blake +felt so badly about having asked the question. + +"This is the lake where we skate in winter," she said. "That is, most +of the girls come here. I go to the Steamer. I like it better." + +The governess looked at it and asked, absently, "Why?" + +"Oh, because its jollier there. Most of the girls I know--I don't +know--that is, they don't know me; they don't like me much, and I'd +rather not go where they are. John Gardiner and some other boys and I +go to the Steamer and have regular contests, and it's the best sport in +the world." + +But Miss Blake was not listening. She was thinking of other things, +and only came back to a sense of what was going on about her when Nan +gave a great sigh to indicate that she was tired of waiting to be +entertained. The governess roused herself with a smile and an apology +and began at once to chat briskly again. + +"Whenever you want Michael to turn you have only to say so," she said. +"What do you think of going down-town and buying some jelly or +something for little Ruth Newton. We could stop there on our way home, +and you could send it up with your love." + +Nan nodded heartily. It always pleased her to give. She enjoyed, too, +the thought of getting a glimpse of the shop-windows, which were +already beginning to take on a look of holiday gorgeousness. So +down-town they went, and Miss Blake not alone bought the jelly, but so +many other things as well, that presently Nan began to have a feeling +that for such a poor woman the governess was inclined to be extravagant. + +She told Delia so when they were alone together that evening, Miss +Blake having gone upstairs to write some letters. + +"Oh, I guess you needn't worry," the woman said. + +"But you don't know how many things she bought," persisted Nan. "I'm +sure she can't afford it. Just think, a woman that works for her +living the way she has to! But do you know, Delia, I believe there's +something mysterious about her, anyway. She seems to see right into +your mind--what you're thinking about; and every once in a while she +lets out a hint that the next minute she looks as if she wished she +hadn't said. I've noticed it lots and lots of times, and I'm sure +she's trying to hide something. What do you s'pose it is? What fun it +would be if she were a princess in disguise." + +"Well, she ain't," Delia almost snapped. "She's just a good little +woman that's trying to do her duty as far as I can make out, and if she +spends money you must remember she has only herself to support." + + + + +CHAPTER IX + +HAVING HER OWN WAY + +"I know just the kind I want, and I won't wear any other," said Nan, +irritably. + +Miss Blake made no reply, and the girl sauntered off to another part of +the store, and pretended to be examining a case of trimmed bonnets, +which she could not see because her eyes were half-blind with +rebellious tears. What right had any one to tell her what sort of a +hat she ought to get! If her father was paying for it, she guessed it +was nobody else's business to say anything. + +Miss Blake held in her hand a handsome, wide-brimmed felt hat, trimmed +simply with fine ribbon and a generous bunch of quills. + +"It's very girlish and suitable, ma'am!" the saleswoman said, as she +turned away to get another model. + +After a moment Nan came hurrying back to the governess' side. + +"Horrid old thing!" she said in a low voice, flinging her hand out with +a gesture of disgust toward the despised hat. "It's stiff as a poker. +Do you suppose I want to have just bunched-up bows with some spikes +stuck in the middle to trim my hat! And all one color, too! I guess +not!" + +The governess bit her lip. "Perhaps we may be able to find something +more to your fancy," she said. "But plumes are expensive and +perishable, and if you have too many colors your hat will look vulgar." + +"I hate this place anyhow," went on Nan, disdainfully. "Bigelow's! +Who ever thought of going to Bigelow's?" + +"Your mother did," said Miss Blake, quickly. "That is, Delia says she +did. And I myself know it to be one of the oldest and best firms in +the city. One can always be sure that one is getting good quality for +one's money here." + +"I never was in the place before," blurted out Nan, "and I despise +their hats--every one of them. If you won't let me go to Sternberg's, +where they have things I like, I won't get anything at all, so there!" + +She suddenly let her voice fall, for the sales-woman was back again +with a fresh assortment of shapes to select from. + +Miss Blake placed the hat she held gently upon a table and began to +examine the others carefully, Nan standing by in sullen silence. + +"This is a pretty one--this with the tips, don't you think so?" the +governess asked, setting it on her hand and letting it revolve slowly +while she regarded it critically with her head on one side. + +Nan gave a grunt of dissatisfaction. What she wanted was a flaring, +turned-up brim, with a dash of red velvet underneath and a +bird-of-paradise on top, caught in a mesh of red and yellow ribbons. +She had seen something on this order in Sternberg's window, and it had +struck her fancy at once. + +The governess hesitated, and then put down the hat she held. + +"Very well. We will go to Sternberg's," she said, quietly, to Nan, in +an undertone which the saleswoman could not distinguish. The girl +started briskly for the door. Miss Blake remained behind a moment, and +then followed after. + +Now that she was to have her own way Nan was restored to good humor, +and kept up a stream of chatter until they reached Sternberg's. + +"There! Isn't that a beauty?" she demanded at last, indicating the hat +in the window. + +Miss Blake, with difficulty, concealed a shudder. + +"It seems to me rather showy. But tastes differ, you know. I can't +say it suits me exactly. Still, if you are pleased--you are the one to +wear it, not I." + +The hat was bought and Nan was radiant. She insisted on donning it at +once, and Miss Blake tried not to let her discover how ashamed she was +to be seen in the street with such a monstrous piece of millinery. +Underneath her tower of gorgeousness Nan strutted like a turkey-cock. + +"I told Delia before we came away that we might not be home before +dusk, so suppose we take luncheon down-town, and then, if you like, we +will go to see Callmann. I haven't been to a sleight-of-hand +performance since I was a little girl, and I always had a liking for +that sort of thing." + +"Oh, do! Let's! Can we?" cried Nan, in a burst of grateful excitement. + +It was nippingly cold outside, and the warm restaurant proved a +delightful contrast. It was jolly to sit in the midst of all this +pleasant bustle and be served with delicate, unfamiliar dishes by +waiters who stood behind the chair and deferentially called one "Miss." + +Miss Blake left Nan to order whatever she pleased, and they dawdled +over their meal luxuriously, the color in the girl's cheeks deepening +with the warmth and excitement until it almost matched the velvet in +her imposing hat. Every now and then she glanced furtively at her +reflection in the mirror, and the vision of that bird-of-paradise +hovering over those huge butterfly bows thrilled her with a great sense +of importance and self-satisfaction. More than once she saw that her +hat was being noticed and commented on by the other guests, and she +tried her best to seem not aware--to look modestly unconscious. But +Miss Blake, when she caught some eye fixed quizzically upon their +table, blushed to the roots of her hair, and felt as though it would be +impossible to bear the ordeal for a moment longer. Still, she did not +hurry Nan, and no one knew, the girl least of all, what agonies of +mortification she was enduring. + +A deep-toned clock struck one full peal. + +"That's half-past one," said Miss Blake, looking up and comparing her +watch. + +"When does the entertainment begin?" asked Nan. + +"At two, I think, or quarter after. If we ride up we have still a few +minutes to spare, but if we walk it would be wise to start at once." + +"O let's walk," begged Nan. "It's such fun; there's so much going on. +And now my foot is well, I just want to trot all the time." + +Though Miss Blake was a good walker and took a great deal of exercise, +she always preferred to ride when she was with Nan, for the girl forged +ahead at such a rate and darted in among the maze of trucks and cars +and carriages so recklessly that there was actual danger as well as +discomfort in trying to keep abreast with her. Still she made no +objection to "trotting," and they started off at a brisk pace. + +"Don't you just love to be in the stores around Christmas-time?" asked +Nan, watching the crowds press and surge about the doorways of some of +the most popular shops. "It's so exciting and the things seem so gay +and alluring." + +"Yes, it is very attractive--all the motion and color," replied Miss +Blake, "but I don't like crowds, and when I am hemmed in at a counter +and can't get away I feel stifled and smothered, and long to scream." + +"Why don't you scream then? I would!" exclaimed Nan, with a laugh. +"I'd shriek, 'Air! Air!' and then you'd see how quick the people would +let you out." + +Miss Blake smiled with what Nan saw was amusement at some +just-remembered incident. + +"I was watching a huge celebration in London one spring," she said. +"It was in honor of some royal birthday or something, and the streets +were packed with people all eager to get a glimpse of the military +parade and the notabilities who were to take part in it. From the +window where I sat I could not see an inch of pavement, the crowd was +so dense. At last there was a sound of martial music and the First +Regiment appeared in full gala array. Oh, I assure you it was very +imposing and well worth taking some trouble to see. The crowds pushed +and jostled, and beyond the first line or two at the curb no one among +them could get more than an occasional glimpse of a stray cockade or a +floating banner. Still the people were massed solidly from the gutter +to the house-steps. We were wondering where the enjoyment in this came +in, and congratulating ourselves that we were not doomed to struggle +and fight for space in such a huddle, when suddenly we heard a shrill +scream. It was a woman's voice crying, 'Air! Air! Give me air!' In +another instant the crowd pushed back a step, and quite a +respectably-dressed young person staggered weakly through the line to +the curb, as if to get more breathing-space. Of course she could have +got this in a much easier way by going in the other direction, but you +see her plan was to get a better view of the procession, and she +thought that was a good method of accomplishing it. It seemed a clever +trick, and she was just settling herself to enjoy her improved +position, when quick as a flash an order was given: Two men unrolled +one of their army stretchers; the woman was whipped up and placed upon +it; the poles were seized and off they went, carrying that misguided +creature with them through all the gaping, jeering crowd. The last I +saw of her she was hiding her face in the coarse army blanket, probably +'crying her eyes out,' as you would say, with mortification and shame." + +"What a joke!" exclaimed Nan. "Poor thing! She didn't see the parade +after all, and I declare she deserved to. That was the time she was in +it though, with a vengeance." + +"Look out for this cab, Nan! Be careful. We cross here. Please don't +rush so--I can't keep up with you," pleaded Miss Blake. + +The girl gave her shoulders an impatient shrug and drew her eyebrows +together in a scowl of irritation. But her face cleared as she saw +Miss Blake buying their tickets at the box-office. + +"Get them good and up front," she begged. "If we're way back we can't +see a thing." + +The governess hesitated an instant; then a curious expression came over +her face and she said, deliberately, "Very well, dear! Up front they +shall be." + +The house was quite full and Nan thought it a singular piece of good +fortune that there were places left just where she would have chosen to +sit. + +"Just think of having come so late and yet being able to get the best +seats in the house," she said, exultantly. + +Miss Blake smiled. She understood better than Nan did why the majority +of the audience preferred places that were not so near the stage. + +Both she and the girl herself soon forgot everything else in their +interest in the mysterious tricks that were being performed before +their eyes. Of course they knew that all this magic could be +explained, but just at the moment it appeared difficult to imagine how. +A man seems really no less than a magician who can take a red billiard +ball from, no one knows where, out of mid-air, apparently, and suddenly +nipping off the end, transform it into two, each equally as large as +the first. Presently he thinks you would like to have a third, and, +presto! he draws one out from his elbow. Now a white one for a change! +But it is easy enough to get a white one. He opens his mouth and there +it is, held between his teeth. Then he thinks he will swallow a red +one. Pop! it is gone! A moment later he takes it out of the top of +his head. + +Nan noticed that as the performance progressed the tricks grew +"curiouser and curiouser," as Alice would say, and the wizard seemed to +take his audience more and more into his confidence. He no longer +confined himself to the stage, but came tripping down the steps that +led from the platform to the middle aisle and addressed, first this one +and then that from among his spectators--only Nan again noticed that +these always happened to be sitting as they were themselves, in the +foremost seats. He induced a man just in front of her to come upon the +stage to "assist" him in one of his "experiments," and the girl +trembled lest at any moment he might demand a similar favor of her, for +though she was reckless enough as a general thing, she had sufficient +delicacy to dread being made conspicuous in such a place as this. + +"O Miss Blake," she whispered in the governess' ear, "can't we move +back a little? If he should make me go up there I'd sink through the +floor!" + +"Probably you would. No doubt he would let you down himself--through a +trap-door. No, we must stay where we are and we must bear it as best +we may. Perhaps he will overlook us." + +Nan thought of her hat and the many glances it had drawn to her in the +restaurant, and for the first time she had a feeling of mistrust +regarding it. Suppose it should fix his eye, with its towering bows +and flaming bird-of-paradise! If it did, she would hate it forever +after. + +But she soon forgot her anxiety in her interest in the wizard himself. +Silver pieces were flung in the air and then mysteriously reappeared in +the pocket of some unsuspecting member of the audience who was much +surprised at seeing them straightway converted into so many gold ones +under his very nose. Innocent-looking hoops turned out to possess the +most remarkable faculty for resisting all attempts to link them on the +part of any one of the spectators, and yet immediately assuming all +manner of shapes and positions in the hands of the dexterous magician +himself. + +At last a shallow cabinet was set upon two chairs in the centre of the +stage, and after a word or two of explanation, the wizard drew first +one chair and then the other from beneath it, and lo! the magic +cupboard remained poised in midair, without any visible means of +support whatever. + +"You see, ladies and gentlemen," announced the suave magician, "this +cabinet is bare; precisely like Mother Hubbard's immortal cupboard. +Can you see anything there? No! I thought not. Now I will place +within it these bells, so; and this tambourine, so; also this empty +slate. You see it is empty. It is quite a simple slate, such as any +school-child would use, and its sides are entirely bare. Now I close +the doors of the cabinet, so; wave my wand, so; and--" + +Immediately there followed the sounds of ringing bells and rattling +tambourine, while in a moment all of these instruments came flying out +of the top of the cabinet as if they had been vigorously flung aloft by +hidden hands. The smiling magician stepped forward, opened the doors +of the cabinet with a flourish, and lo! it was empty save for the +slate, which proved to be covered over with scribbled characters, and +which he politely handed down to persons in the audience for +examination. + +Nan was completely bewildered and so lost to all that was going on +about her that she did not realize that the wizard was tripping down +the stage steps and making his way affably up the middle aisle again. +It was only when he spoke once more that she woke with a great start, +and then to her horror she found he was addressing her. + +"I am sure this young lady will not refuse me the loan of her hat for +my next experiment," he began with a persuasive smile. "I assure you, +Miss, I will not injure it in the least. You won't object, will you?" +and he held out his hand engagingly. + +The girl stiffened against the back of her chair, so disconcerted that +she felt actually dizzy. + +"Give him your hat," bade Miss Blake, quickly, as if to put an end to +their really painful conspicuousness. + +Nan obeyed blindly. The smiling magician took it with a profound bow +and held it up for all the audience to see. + +"Now you perceive, ladies and gentlemen," he remarked, "that there is +nothing mysterious about this hat. At least I am sure the ladies do. +To the gentlemen it doubtless seems very mysterious, but that is +because they do not understand the art of millinery." As he spoke he +made his way up the aisle and to the steps that led to the stage. "It +is a beautiful hat. Very elaborate and of a most stylish shape, as you +see, but not at all mysterious. Yet I mean to make it serve me in a +very interesting experiment, which I think you will admit is +exceedingly won--" + +But just here he stumbled upon one of the steps, and in trying to +recover himself let Nan's cherished head-gear fall and brought his +whole weight upon it, crushing it out of all recognition. + +"Oh, dear, dear! What have I done?" he deplored in sincerest dismay. + +Miss Blake's eyes fell and Nan's lips whitened. Every one was looking +at them now, and the magician was making them even more conspicuous by +apologizing to them over and over again in the most abject fashion. + +"How could I be so awkward! Such a beautiful hat and ruined through my +carelessness. I have no words to describe my regret. Do forgive me! +But I promised to return your property to you uninjured, did I not, +Miss? So, of course, I must keep my word." He held the battered mass +of ribbons and bird-of-paradise high above his head as he spoke, and +then went forward and placed a pistol in the hand of his assistant on +the stage. The man retired to a distance and the wizard held the hat +at arm's length as if for a target. + +"Now, ready? Then--shoot!" + +A second for aim: a report; and the smiling Callmann stepped forward +with the hat in his hand, quite whole again and unimpaired. + +A shudder ran through Nan as she heard the applause and saw her +property held up to public view. She dared not turn her head to look +at Miss Blake, and she hardly heard the wizard's voice as he asked to +be permitted to use the hat for still another experiment, and she +scarcely saw how he placed it on a table, a perfectly innocent looking +table, and then proceeded to take from it a multitude of things--from a +gold watch to a clucking hen. + +When the hen came to light the audience fairly shouted, and Nan thought +she could never in the world get up courage to set that hat on her head +again and walk out before the eyes of these quizzical people. + +"They'll laugh at me all the way," she thought moodily. "And if they +ever see me in the street they'll say, 'There goes that trick hat! The +one the hen came out of!' I wish it was in Jericho!" + +Miss Blake comforted her as best she could with little hidden pressures +of the hand and whispered words of sympathy, but the rest of the +performance was torture to them both, and when, at last, it was over +and they were well on their way home, Nan heaved a great sigh of relief +and tried to summon back her courage by declaring that "I don't care if +they did laugh when that hen clucked inside it and he said he was +afraid this was what might be called 'a loud hat!' It's heaps better +than lots I saw on other girls, so there!" + +"I am glad you are satisfied with it," said Miss Blake, simply. + + + + +CHAPTER X + +EXPERIENCES + +For the first time since Nan could remember, the house was full of the +air of Christmas preparation. Of course she had always had presents, +and she never failed to give Delia a gift, but there was no scent of +mystery about the holiday celebration; no delicious odor of a hidden +Christmas tree; no sense of unseen tokens; nothing to distinguish the +time from an ordinary birthday anniversary. But this year everything +was changed, and Nan was as much occupied with her own secrets and +surprises as either Miss Blake or Delia, who whispered and dodged and +smiled cunningly all day long in the most perplexing manner. But she +confined her preparations to her own room, while the governess +apparently needed the library and all the rest of the house, too, and +Nan found herself barred out of Miss Blake's room by her own stubborn +pride which still forbade her to go in without a formal invitation. +She was also locked out of the library which was now being made festive +for the coming holiday, so that at times she wandered about quite +helplessly in a sort of forlorn state of having nowhere to turn. + +She had fallen into the habit of running over to the Newton's while +Ruth was sick, and she proved such a tender nurse and entertaining +companion that the child's mother looked forward with relief to her +visits, and only wished she would come oftener. + +"She keeps Ruth so happy and contented. It gives me a free minute to +turn 'round in, and is a real comfort." + +"I thought you would find her helpful," responded Miss Blake. "She +loves children, and they know it and love her back again. She is very +gentle with them, and I know you may trust her, for she is as true as +steel." + +"She's a changed girl, that's the whole truth of the matter. You've +simply tamed her, the young savage!" + +"Oh, Nan has a fine nature. All she needs is judicious training. If I +were not sure of that I should despair many and many a time. She needs +judicious training and a world of patience and love." + +Mrs. Newton dropped her work into her lap and looked up earnestly into +the governess' face. + +"Yes, I can believe it. What a rash, head-long sort of creature you +must think me! Why, I was as bad as Nan herself, to go over there and +simply browbeat her as I did! Do you suppose she will ever really +forgive me?" + +"I'm sure she has done so already. Nan is generous. She does not bear +malice. She has a vast amount of pride but as yet she does not know +how to use it." + +"I should think it would be enough to break down your health--such +constant care and responsibility. It is Nan's salvation to have you +with her, but do you think you can hold out?" + +Miss Blake pondered a moment and then nodded her head decidedly. "I +will hold out," she said staunchly. + +"You don't know how boisterous she was, and how it shocked me! At last +I grew frenzied, and when Ruth was brought in to me injured in that +way, through her fault, I supposed, I lost control of myself entirely, +and felt that, come what might, the girl must be attended to. There's +no doubt of it, your Nan is improved, and if this neighborhood is not +made miserable by her piercing war-cries, her hairbreadth adventures, +and her eccentric behavior generally, it is all owing to you. But here +she comes herself! Put away your work! Quick!" + +Nan knocked politely at the open door. + +"Oh, come in, dear!" said Mrs. Newton cordially, and the governess +looked at her encouragingly and smiled. + +"Bridget told me to come right up," explained Nan. "Is Ruth out?" + +"No, taking a nap in the nursery. She'll be awake soon now, I'm sure. +Take off your things and sit down." + +"Won't I be in the way?" + +Mrs. Newton patted her on the shoulder. "No, my dear, you won't. On +the contrary, it will be very pleasant to have you here to take a cup +of tea with Miss Blake and me; will you excuse me a moment while I go +and call Katy to bring it up?" + +"I thought you were in your room," said Nan to Miss Blake as their +hostess left the room. + +"Did you need me? Why didn't you knock? What was it you wanted me to +do?" + +"Oh, nothing. I didn't need you--that is, there wasn't anything I +wanted you to do, only--it seemed kind of lonely, and so I came over +here." + +"And I thought you would be locked in your own room for the rest of the +afternoon. How dreadfully mysterious we all are nowadays." + +Nan laughed. She got out of her coat with a tug and a squirm and flung +it on the lounge. Then she wrenched off her hat (the Sternberg affair) +and tossed it carelessly after the coat. + +Miss Blake bent over and straightened the untidy heap without a word. + +"Delia is making mince pie-lets for dinner," announced Nan. + +"How jolly of her!" said Miss Blake. + +"Huh!" exclaimed Nan. "She said you told her to." + +The governess smiled. + +Mrs. Newton came in a moment later and after her Katy with the tea-tray. + +Nan sprawled down on the rug in complete comfort while Miss Blake and +Mrs. Newton sipped their tea and talked of all sorts of things, to +which she hardly listened. + +She was full of her own thoughts, and somehow they were all connected +with the governess. In fact, her influence seemed to pervade +everything, and Nan often wondered how the house would seem without +her, now that they had "sort of got used to having her around." +Without a doubt she made herself useful. And somehow she managed to +make people depend on her in spite of themselves. And yet she never +made a fuss or exaggerated the things she did. She was always doing +"little things "--little things that didn't make any show, and yet they +were so kind they "sort of made you like her whether you wanted to or +not." This thought came upon Nan with a start, that roused her from +her musing and made her sit bolt upright with surprise. Had Miss Blake +made her like her, then? After all the reproaches she had cast upon +Delia was she no better than a turn-coat herself? + +"We had ours built in before we came into the house," Mrs. Newton was +saying. "It is a vast improvement. I wouldn't be without it for the +world." + +Nan pricked up her ears. She wondered what this desirable thing might +be. + +"Who did the work?" Miss Blake asked. + +"Buchanan. And I'll say this for him, he did it well. I haven't a +fault to find. I think you'd be satisfied with him." + +"A person doesn't like to put a piece of work like that into the hands +of a man one knows nothing about," resumed Miss Blake. "I'm glad to +profit by your experience. It may save me, too, a great deal of worry +and no little expense." + +"Oh, yes," returned Mrs. Newton. "If one can economize on experience +it's a great satisfaction. It's the best school I know of. But it's +so expensive that it ruins some of us before we're done." + +"What's the best school you know of?" asked Nan, curiously. + +"Experience," replied Miss Blake. + +"Oh!" + +"Yes; and it's a school we all have to go to at one time or another," +put in Mrs. Newton. "But we might make it a good deal easier for +ourselves sometimes if we'd take hints from our friends who have +graduated." + +"Have you graduated?" Nan asked, half in fun, turning to Miss Blake. + +But Mrs. Newton broke in before the governess could reply for herself. +"Graduated! Well, I should think so! Why, she has carried off honors! +She has taken a diploma--with a ribbon 'round it!" + +Miss Blake laughed. "Nothing of the sort, Nan. I've had a few +lessons, that is all." + +"Oh, tell about some of them, won't you?" cried Nan, eagerly. "It +would be lots of fun." + +The governess considered. + +"Well, yes. I will tell you of the very first lesson I can remember, +if you care to hear," she answered, with a wistful smile. "I won't +promise it will be 'lots of fun,' though." + +"Never mind! Tell it!" And Nan settled herself more comfortably +against the governess' knee quite as if that person were, in reality, +her prop and stay, instead of being only some one she "sort of liked in +spite of herself." + +"I think it must have been the first real experience I ever had," began +Miss Blake, musingly. "At least it is the first one I recollect. I +was the littlest bit of a girl when my mother died; too young to +realize it, and my father scarcely outlived her a week. He died very +suddenly. They used to tell me that he died from grief. Anyway, he +was sitting at his desk looking over some important papers connected +with my mother's affairs, when suddenly he put his hand to his heart, +gave a faint gasp--and was gone." + +"What an elegant way to die!" broke in Nan impulsively. + +Mrs. Newton gave an exclamation of real horror at her flippancy. + +"Oh, you know what I mean!" the girl hastened to protest. "I think it +must be worlds better than being sick, or hurt in an accident, or any +of those dreadful, lingering deaths." + +"After that I was given over into the charge of some distant +connections of my father," continued the governess. "They were good, +conscientious people, but they had no children of their own, and did +not like other people's. I presume I was not a very captivating baby." + +Nan straightened up suddenly. "I bet you were, though," she +interrupted. "You must have been a dot of a thing, with crinkly hair +and dimples, and mites of hands and feet. I should think they would +have loved you--I mean, a poor little lonely baby like you." + +Miss Blake smiled. "Well, however that was, Nan, I was brought up very +strictly, and I assure you, I was made to mind my P's and Q's. One +could not trifle with Aunt Rebecca! Well, one morning I was sitting at +the foot of the staircase playing house. I can see myself now, +squatting on the lowest step, my fat little legs scarcely long enough +to reach the floor. I had on a checked gingham pinafore, and my hair +was drawn tight behind my ears and braided into two tiny tails with red +ribbons on the ends. I knew it was against the rule to play house in +the hall, anywhere, in fact, but in my own little room--with the doors +shut, but somehow I felt reckless that day, and when I heard Aunt +Rebecca walking to and fro, just above my head, I didn't scamper off as +I ordinarily would have done; I just sat still and said to myself, 'I +don't care! I don't care!' It seemed to give me a lot of courage, and +I wasn't a bit afraid, even when Aunt Rebecca's footsteps came nearer, +and I knew she could see me from the top of the stairs. Indeed, I grew +mightily brave; so brave, that after a couple of minutes I raised my +voice and piped out: 'Aunt Becca! Aunt Becca!' + +"'Well,' answered she, 'what is it? what do you want?' + +"Even the severity of her voice didn't dismay me that rash morning. + +"'I want Lilly,' said I, airily. Lilly was my precious doll. 'She's +in her little chair in my room; won't you please to pitch me Lilly?' + +"For a moment Aunt Rebecca hesitated. I think she must have been +petrified by my audacity. But she recovered herself and turned, and +without a word went to my room and got Lilly from her 'little chair.' +I was as complacent as if it had been quite the usual thing for Aunt +Rebecca to fetch and carry for me. Indeed, perhaps I imagined I was +instituting a new order of things, and that in future she would do my +errands, instead of I hers. + +"She came back to the head of the stairway and I looked up pleasantly, +half-expecting, I suppose, that she would come down and deliver my +darling dolly safely into my hands. But she didn't. If I were giving +orders she would obey me to the letter. She 'pitched me Lilly.' I +gave a dismal wail of dismay as I saw my dear baby come hurtling +through the air, but when she landed on her blessed head, and I heard +the crack of breaking china, I just abandoned myself to grief and +howled desperately. Aunt Rebecca went about her business as if nothing +had happened, and by and by I stole off with my ruined dolly and cried +to myself in the back yard--because I had no one else to cry to." + +"You poor little thing!" burst out Nan, indignantly. "What a +detestable woman! As if she could have expected such a baby to know!" + +"You're wrong, Nan!" the governess said. "It was a wholesome lesson, +and I am grateful to Aunt Rebecca for having given it to me." + +"Well, I shouldn't think you would be," insisted the girl rebelliously. +"The idea of her expecting such a mite to understand!" + +"Ah, but you see I did understand. And I have never forgotten it. I +have never asked any one to 'pitch me Lilly' since that day--I mean +never when I could go and get her myself." + +Nan pondered over it moodily for a moment. "And did you have to stay +in that house until you were grown up?" she demanded. + +"Oh, no! When I was about your age I went to boarding-school, and +everything was changed and different after that." + +"How?" + +"Well, I made dear, faithful friends who took me to their hearts and +who made my life rich with their love. All that other hungry, empty +time was over, and for many years I never knew what it was to feel sad +or lonely, or to have a wish that would not have been gladly gratified +if it could be." + +"Now they were something like!" ejaculated Nan. "Dear me! I should +think you would have been sorry when you got through school." + +Miss Blake made no reply. She put up her hand to shield her eyes from +the glare of the fire, and for a second or two there was a deep hush in +the room. Nan was the first to break the silence. + +"Goodness!" she cried, springing to her feet with a bound. "It's as +dark as a pocket outside, and Delia'll think we're lost or something if +we don't go home." + +Miss Blake surreptitiously gathered her work together and slipped it +into her bag. "Yes, we must scamper," she exclaimed, as she turned to +help Nan on with her coat. + +"Dear, dear, what a gorgeous hat!" exclaimed Mrs. Newton, as the girl +set it carelessly upon her head. + +Nan looked sheepish. "I'm glad you like it!" she ventured clumsily. + +Mrs. Newton did not respond that she had not said she liked it. She +busied herself with Miss Blake and her wraps, and replied merely, "It's +a remarkable gay affair." + +Then she kissed the governess "Good-night," and saw both her and Nan +safely to the door. + +The two hastened across the street to see which could get out of the +wind first. + +"I beat!" panted the girl, as she stood in the vestibule and saw Miss +Blake breathlessly climb the last step. + +"Yes, you beat! Fair and square!" admitted the governess as Delia let +them in, chattering and shivering, from the chilly air. + +"Who'll beat now, going upstairs?" screamed Nan. + +Miss Blake made a dash for the first step and the two went flying up in +a perfect whirl of laughter and fun. + +Delia had forgotten to light the gas in Nan's room and the girl +stumbled about blindly, crashing into the furniture and casting off her +coat and hat in her old headlong fashion, not stopping to think of all +Miss Blake's warnings on the subject, but just hurrying to get down +stairs and "beat" the governess in another race. + +"Clean hands! Smooth hair, and a neat dress for dinner!" sang out the +governess gayly. + +Nan shrugged her shoulders in the dark and made a lunge at the +mantelpiece for a match. She struck it and lit the gas, swinging off +to the washstand as soon as it was done. + +Suddenly Miss Blake heard a shriek, a rush of feet across the floor, +and then Nan's voice exclaiming "Great Scott!" in a tone that was a +cross between a laugh and a cry. + +She did not wait a moment but hurried instantly to the girl's door. + +Nan was standing beside the gas fixture, and in her hand was her +cherished hat--a ruined mass of smoldering felt and charred plumage. + +"Nan!" exclaimed Miss Blake, horrified at the sight. + +"I know it! Isn't it awful! I just slung it on the globe as I always +do, and--and--when I lit the gas I forgot all about it, and it was +ablaze in a minute. Don't say a word! I know you've told me hundreds +of times not to put it there. But I forgot, and--O dear! what'll I +wear on my head the rest of the winter? But it is too funny!" + +Miss Blake tried to look stern. + +"I'm heartily sorry you've lost your hat, Nan," she said, kindly, +without a hint of reproach in her voice. "You were so fond of it. I'm +really very sorry, dear!" + +Nan checked her laughter. She let the hat fall to the floor. A sudden +impulse seized her, and she strode up the governess and took her by the +shoulders. + +"You're a real dear not to say 'I told you so!'" she cried. "And you +haven't jeered at me, though I know you hated the hat from the start. +And now I'm going to tell you something--two things! First: I'm never +going to hang up my clothes on the gas again, honestly! And second: I +hated the old thing, too. The minute I bought it I hated it, and I've +hated it ever since." + +Miss Blake looked up, and their eyes met. + +"Good for you, Nan," she said, standing on her tip-toes to pat the girl +approvingly on the head. "Good for you! And now it's my turn to +confess. Wait a minute!" + +She flew out of the room, and before Nan fairly knew she had gone she +was back again, and in her hand was a huge milliner's box. + +"I couldn't help it!" she cried, half apologetically. "I got it that +day, just to please myself--and now you'll wear it, won't you, dear? +It's very simple, but it is of the best, and it will match your coat, +you see." + +She untied the string, lifted the sheets of tissue-paper, and displayed +what even Nan had to admit was a beautiful hat. + +The girl looked at it in silence for a moment; then she ducked down +impulsively, and gave the governess a quick, shy kiss upon the cheek. + +"Thank you," she said, huskily, with a sort of gulp, and then she ran +out of the room as fast as her feet would carry her. + + + + +CHAPTER XI + +CHRISTMAS + +"This is to be a German Christmas," Miss Blake said, "and we're going +to celebrate it on Christmas eve. Of all the different customs I've +seen I like the German the best. It is so jolly and freundlich, as +they say over there." + +So on Christmas eve the library doors were thrown open for the first +time in days and days, and there stood the most glorious tree that Nan +had ever seen. It was decked out with a hundred glistening things and +laden down with red apples, yellow oranges, and pounds and pounds of +peppermint candy, and barley-sugar figures, pretty to see and delicious +to eat, to say nothing of Marzipan, to which the girl was introduced +for the first time, and which she found altogether fascinating. +Innumerable candles burned gayly among the spreading boughs, and at the +very top hovered an angel with outspread, shimmering wings, her hands +bearing a garland of glistening tinsel, and her garments ablaze with +gold and silver decoration. Grown girl as she was, Nan was delighted. +It was all so new and strange; so different from anything she had ever +experienced before. + +Beside the tree were tables spread with white cloths, and upon these +lay the presents, and wonderful presents they proved. Miss Blake and +Delia had outdone themselves, and Nan's table was a sight to behold. +It seemed to her it held everything she had ever expressed a wish +for--except a bicycle, of course. + +A pocket-kodak from Miss Blake, a banjo from her father, skates from +Delia, she had longed for just such a new pair, and innumerable other +articles bearing no giver's name, but coming, every one, from the same +generous source Nan knew well enough. She absolutely lost her head in +the delight of possessing such an array of treasures. + +Her own little offerings seemed to her poor and mean in comparison with +this display; but Miss Blake's eyes actually filled with grateful tears +at the sight of the half-dozen linen handkerchiefs the girl had marked +for her with so much trouble and at the cost of so many hours of +recreation, and Delia hugged her rapturously at the sight of the +gorgeous dress-pattern that Nan had selected for her "all alone by +herself," and that had come out of the saving of more than a +half-year's allowance of precious pocket-money. + +"Now, Nan!" said Miss Blake, when the first excitement had somewhat +subsided, "there is one more surprise that Delia and Mr. Turner and I +have planned for you, and as I expect it to arrive at any moment now, +and as it is pretty big I want you to help clear away these tables to +give it lots of room to move about in. We want to get everything out +of the way and all the presents safely stowed aside upstairs so nothing +will be broken. While we are going back and forth you may guess what +it is, if you like." + +"A bicycle?" ventured Nan, striding upstairs with her kodak in one arm +and a bundle of books in the other. + +"No, it's not a bicycle. Guess again. I'll give you two more," +answered the governess, following after her with her load. + +"I know what I want next to a bicycle." + +"What?" + +"I don't like to say." + +"Why?" + +"Well, you know," hesitated the girl, "if I said what it was, and if +what you've got turned out something different, you might feel +disappointed because you might think I did." + +Miss Blake smiled. "That's a generous thought, Nan," she said; "but I +give you free leave to speak out." + +Even now the girl hesitated, and stood awkwardly balancing herself +against the baluster-rail. "Even if you wanted to you couldn't give it +to me," she blurted out, at length. + +"Why?" repeated Miss Blake. + +"Because--oh, because--it wouldn't come," she cried, with a rueful +laugh. + +"Now that sounds ominous," exclaimed the governess, as she and Nan +started on their last trip. "It sounds as if you wanted a horse, or +something of that sort, that might prove balky." + +"No, it isn't a horse. But it's balky enough, if that's all." + +"Then tell me why it wouldn't come?" + +Nan let her armful of gifts fall on her counterpane in a heap. "Oh, +because--because--its mothers don't approve of me. What I want is a +party, so there! and I couldn't have one because, even if my father +could afford it, no one would come. Grace Ellis wouldn't, nor Mary +Brewster, nor any of those girls I'd want. They turn up their noses at +me because they think I don't know how to behave. Once Louie Hawes +spoke to me and I liked her, but the next time I saw her she looked the +other way, and I suppose some one had told her something she didn't +approve of. So she wouldn't come either--no matter how much I asked +her, and of course I wouldn't ask her at all. Mrs. Andrews up the +street asked me to Ruth's party last winter, but I heard their girl +tell Delia that she did it because she had known my mother and felt +obliged to, so I wouldn't go. I couldn't after that, you know. I did +go to the Buckstone twins' party, but all the other girls got off in +corners and laughed and talked, and I was left out and had to shift for +myself. So I went and talked to John Gardiner and Harley Morris and +those, and of course we got on first-rate--we always do, for if I can't +dance I can skate, and the boys got me to promise I'd go with them the +next good ice, and we got talking about other things, and I never +thought anything about the girls any more until Mrs. Buckstone came up +and said, 'I'm sorry, my dear, to break up this pleasant group, but we +can't permit you to monopolize our young gentlemen. The rest of the +young ladies are waiting for partners.' Then I knew I had got myself +into a scrape, for Mrs. Buckstone was dreadfully icy and the girls were +furious. So you see no one would come." + +Miss Blake caught up a stray lock of hair at the girl's temple and +tucked it back into place, smoothed the ribbon upon her "best dress" +collar, and said tenderly: + +"Well, that will all be made right to-night, I guess. Come, take my +hand, and let's fly down stairs, and be ready to receive, for you've +got your wish--there's the bell!--and your party is coming in." + +They met the first comers on the stairs, and had to hurry past them to +avoid getting caught by a second installment. After that the guests +came quick and fast, and Nan had all she could do to welcome them and +wonder dimly in between how things were to be started, so that +everybody should have a good time. + +But, bless you! She might have saved herself the trouble, for Miss +Blake simply set things going without any bother at all, and before Nan +realized what was happening, she saw the governess and big John +Gardiner leading in a lively game, while the music of a piano and some +violins, which were hidden away out of sight, fell upon her delighted +ear. She followed the sound, and it took her to the glass extension, +which, to her astonishment, was all alight, and fragrant with flowering +plants and towering palms. The "old trunks and things" that had +littered the place were gone, and in their stead was all this soft +greenness and bloom, while from above hung graceful lanterns, sending +out a tender light that made the leaves look shadowy and waxen, and +gave the spot a peculiar air of mystery and grace. + +She found Louie Hawes and Ruth Andrews hidden away in a snug corner +behind a screening rubber-tree. They were apparently deep in +conversation when she came up, but at sight of her they fell suddenly +silent and looked embarrassed and ill at ease. For a moment Nan was at +a loss what to do. Then, all at once, Miss Blake's rule for etiquette +flashed across her mind: + +"When you don't know how to act, Nan, do something honest and kind, and +that will be sure to be right." + +She told herself that perhaps after all, the girls had not been talking +about her, and said to them pleasantly: + +"Do you like it away back here? It's rather out of the way of the +games; but don't you want to play?" + +"Oh, yes; by and by," stammered Ruth, awkwardly. "It's awfully pretty +in this conservatory, and Lu and I got in here and couldn't get away. +One wants to sit still and just enjoy it. I think I never saw such +dainty lanterns." + +The conversation seemed on the point of coming to a standstill, but Nan +plunged in again, her sense of being hostess spurring her on. + +"I guess they're some Miss Blake brought with her from China, or +somewhere. She has been around the world, and has collected any number +of beautiful things. Some of them are perfectly fine." + +"Oh, I think she herself is one of the loveliest things!" cried Ruth, +enthusiastically. "She has a darling face. One wants to kiss her, +she's so dear!" + +"Mamma says she used to know her years ago at school," said Louie. +"She says she is one of the finest characters she knows. She was +delighted to have me come when Miss Blake asked me to your party." + +"Yes, it was awfully nice of you to think of us," put in Ruth, +laboriously. + +Again the conversation threatened to flag. But here was Nan's +opportunity to do something honest, and she did it. + +"Oh, don't thank me. I didn't think of you," she returned bluntly; +"that is, I didn't know anything at all about the party myself until a +little while ago. Miss Blake did it all. I don't know how in the +world she ever happened to ask just the ones I wanted, though." + +Ruth and Louie exchanged glances. Then they laughed. + +"Well, if you didn't think of us," they said, "you wanted us, so it's +nice of you all the same." + +That broke the ice, and it wasn't five minutes before all three were +sitting together and chatting as comfortably as if they had been on the +most intimate terms of friendship for years, and it was only Nan's +sense of her responsibility as hostess that dragged her away at last. + +"Miss Blake will wonder where we are. Won't you come into the other +room? Besides you can't enjoy being cooped up in this little corner +when the fun is going on outside." + +"Oh, but we do enjoy it!" protested Ruth. "It's giving us a chance to +get acquainted with you. And we want you to promise us that you'll go +skating with us day after to-morrow. Please do!" + +"Of course we know how you skate," declared Louie, "and we'll be so +proud to have such a champion in our club. Say you'll come! And don't +hold it against us that we haven't asked you before." + +Nan's heart leaped. "Why, I'll love to," she said with a frankness +equal to Louie's own, adding in a tone quite new to her, "if Miss Blake +will let me." + +Grace Ellis and Mary Brewster lifted their eyebrows in surprise as the +three girls appeared in the doorway, chatting so intimately and being +so plainly on the best of terms. + +"Dear me!" whispered Grace, "what's come over Lu and Ruth? They +actually look as if they liked her." + +"Don't you believe it," declared Mary sourly. "They're here at her +party and they can't exactly shove her off in her own house, but it +will be 'for one night only.' Now you see! They won't want her around +now any more than they have before--a rowdyish thing like that." + +She had scarcely replaced her bitter expression by one more suited to +the time and place when Louie came over to where they were, her face +wreathed in smiles, and her arm flung impulsively around Nan's waist. + +"O girls!" she cried. "Isn't it nice? Ruth and I have made Nan +promise that she'll come skating with us day after to-morrow, and she's +going to join the club. Won't it put a feather in our cap to have such +a member?" + +Mary knit her brows and Grace smiled icily. + +"Very nice," they responded coldly. + +Nan's eyes flashed, and then suddenly lowered. "Oh! I didn't give a +definite promise," she returned quietly, and with unexpected dignity. +"I said if Miss Blake would let me. I'm afraid she won't. I hurt my +ankle not long ago, and I haven't dared exercise it much since. +Probably Miss Blake will think I ought to save it for a while yet." + +"But you were out on Saturday," protested Ruth. "I saw you. Your +ankle is only an excuse. You skate so easily, it couldn't be a strain." + +Grace looked at Mary with a curious expression in her eyes, but neither +of them added her voice to the other girls' solicitations, and the +little group stood there in what threatened to become a painful silence +when Nan felt a light touch on her shoulder, and, turning around, +discovered Miss Blake standing at her elbow. + +"O Nan!" she said, smiling brightly at the other girls, as if to excuse +herself for not including them in her familiarity, "won't you please go +and see if you can't entertain that poor young Joe Tracy? I've done my +best, but he won't come out of his shell for all I can do, and I think +your hearty, breezy way is just what he needs. He looks so forlorn, +tucked away 'all alone by himself,' as you would say." + +She patted the girl affectionately on the shoulder as she sent her on +her way, saying heartily, as she passed out of ear-shot: "I always feel +perfectly secure when I can fall back on Nan to help me out with shy, +sensitive people. She has such a great, warm heart that it seems to +thaw their stiffness right out of them." + +Louie threw her arm impulsively about the governess' waist: + +"You're such a dear!" she cried, demonstratively; "and I'm over and +over obliged to you for letting me come here and get acquainted with +Nan. I think she is ever so nice, and it's a shame that we haven't +known each other before." + +Miss Blake gave the girl a hearty smile. + +"Better late than never," she returned gayly. + +Grace Ellis reddened and Mary Brewster tilted her chin superciliously, +but they both turned their eyes suddenly in the direction of the other +end of the room as Ruth Andrews grasped Miss Blake's arm, and whispered +excitedly: + +"For goodness' sake, do look over there! Nan has got Joe Tracy +laughing already." + +Sure enough, the lad's pale, sensitive face was all aglow, and, as he +listened to what the girl was saying, his eyes brightened and his mouth +danced up at the corners in a laugh of genuine appreciation. Nan was +gesticulating in her own graphic fashion, and the girls could easily +follow her by watching her expression and her vivid pantomime. + +Plainly she was describing the sleight-of-hand performance to her +bashful friend, and Miss Blake could readily see that she was not +sparing herself in the recital. + +She raised her hands to her head and pretended to take off her hat, +which she made a show of reluctantly surrendering to some one who +received it with a profound bow. Then she suddenly leaned forward, as +if stumbling on something, and the next moment she held up her hand and +seemed to be regarding some article upon it with an exaggeratedly +doleful expression that was such an exact imitation of the renowned +wizard's that Miss Blake recognized it at once, and laughed as heartily +as Joe Tracy himself. By this time the girls were thoroughly +interested, and kept their eyes fixed on Nan so that they might not +lose one gesture nor the slightest change of expression. + +"O dear! Those Buckstone girls! Why do they get in my way," lamented +Louie Hawes, "I wish they wouldn't crowd round her so. First thing +they know she'll notice them, and stop short off and won't tell any +more." + +"Hush, Lu! There go John Gardiner and Harley Morris!" + +But Nan was in full swing now, and too absorbed in her story to be +aware of the little court that had gathered around her. Joe Tracy's +eyes followed her every movement with greedy interest, and when she at +length imitated the flapping wings of the clucking hen he simply +shouted with laughter and clapped his hands vigorously, quite lost to +all but his appreciation and sense of the fun of the thing. + +It seemed to remind him of something similar in his own experience, for +he immediately started in on a description of his own, and Nan sat +listening in her turn with rapt attention. Every now and then a shout +of laughter would come from the group in the distant corner, and the +girls longed to go over and join in the fun. + +"Listen to John Gardiner 'haw-haw!'" cried Mary Brewster. + +"Don't the Buckstone twins give funny little giggles?" interposed Louie. + +"Why can't we go over and listen too?" suggested Ruth. + +So they all, even Grace Ellis and Mary Brewster, went softly toward the +alluring corner, and were just in time to catch the end of Joe Tracy's +story, which was so witty that John Gardiner swayed back and forward +with delight and shook the room with his hearty laugh, and the +Buckstone girls' giggle joined in like a shrill accompaniment. + +It had all come about so naturally that Joe Tracy did not realize that +he had been orating to a roomful, and he did not seem to mind it at all +when he discovered that he and Nan had had an audience. His shyness +was quite gone and his face was radiant with enjoyment. + +The piano and violins started in again, and Miss Blake was heard +inviting bulky Tom Porter to escort her down to supper. + +Of course, Nan had known all along that there would be something to +eat, but she had not dreamed of such a spread as this. + +It made her eyes shine and her cheeks glow to hear such whispered words +as these: + +"Yes, indeed! Aren't you?" + +"Far and away the jolliest one yet!" + +"Do get me some more salad, won't you, please? It's the best I ever +ate!" + +"Up-and-down jolly time. A fellow likes to be made feel at home like +this." + +Miss Blake, who without seeming to be watching any one, saw that every +one was well supplied, kept a constant eye on Nan, and at last, on the +strength of what she discovered, thought it was time to interfere. + +"Now sit down, my dear," she commanded softly, coming up behind the +girl and touching her gently on the arm. "You are getting all tired +out and having nothing to eat yourself. Every one is served and the +waiters will look out for the rest. I have saved a place for you in +the corner beside Louie and Ruth. So go now and rest and eat and enjoy +yourself. You must not be the only one at your party who is neglected." + +Nan gave her a grateful look and dashed off toward Louie and Ruth who +were beckoning wildly to her to come. They had so much to tell that +they almost forgot their plates in their eagerness to talk. + +"Grace Ellis is just wild to come over here," confided Louie. + +"But Mary Brewster won't let her. Mary just bosses Grace about till I +think it's positively disgraceful," whispered Ruth. + +John Gardiner sauntered up. + +"Got everything you want?" he asked in a manful effort to be attentive. + +"No!" replied Nan, promptly, with a twinkle in her eye. "I want a +bicycle, please. Won't you get me one?" and she held out her plate as +if to have it supplied with the desired article. + +The tall fellow laughed. "With pleasure," he said, and took the plate +and marched off with it. + +"O dear! I hadn't finished my salad!" lamented Nan, looking +regretfully after him. + +Louie managed to telegraph their dilemma to Harley Morris, who promptly +responded to it by appearing with another plate of salad and a dish of +sandwiches. He did not go away after Nan was served, but stayed on and +led in the laugh when John Gardiner reappeared with a tiny ice cream +bicycle daintily poised against a mound of jelly, which he presented to +Nan with a low bow full of mock dignity, saying: + +"You have only to command and you are obeyed. Here is your wheel, and +may it go as fast as if it were geared to a hundred." + +"Thank you," replied Nan, accepting the joke and the plate at the same +time. "It'll go fast enough, no fear of that. Eating is never up-hill +work with me, and this has nothing to do but coast, you see," and she +swallowed the first mouthful down with a jolly laugh. + +"Look over at Mary Brewster! She's trying her best to pretend she +ignores us," whispered Ruth, but not so low but that the young fellows +could hear. + +"Is one who ignores an ignor--amus?" asked Harley Morris, grinning +broadly at his own witticism. + +"Yes," promptly answered Louie. "And in this case especially so, for +she doesn't know what she's losing." + +There were more games after supper, and last of all came the jolliest +part of the whole evening, an old-fashioned Virginia reel, Miss Blake +and John Gardiner leading and the rest following with the heartiest of +zest. In and out they tripped and up and down they ran till all were +fairly out of breath. Then suddenly Miss Blake seized John's hand, and +away they sped toward the library, the rest following helter-skelter, +where the Christmas tree stood all lighted and ablaze. + +"All hands round!" shouted John, as they formed a ring and pranced +gayly about the fragrant tree. + +Then up rose the governess' cheery voice, singing the dear old +Christmas carol that is always new: + + "Hark! the herald angels sing + Glory to the new-born King; + Peace on earth and mercy mild; + God and sinners reconciled." + + +And the rest joined in and made the house re-echo with their hearty +chorus: + + "Joyful all ye nations rise, + Join the triumph of the skies; + With th' angelic host proclaim, + Christ is born in Bethlehem!" + + +It seemed to melt the hearts of every one there, for the voices that +presently said "Good-night," were full of peace and good-will, and even +Mary Brewster's had a ring of sincerity in it as she murmured: + +"Good-night, Miss Blake! Good-night, Nan. I've had a charming +evening, and I hope we'll know each other better after this." + + + + +CHAPTER XII + +SMALL CLOUDS + +It proved an ideal Christmas day. Clear and cold and spotlessly white, +for the snow fell heavily all through the night, and covered everything +with a mantle of glistening frost. + +Nan looked out of her window, and gave a gasp of delight as she saw the +shimmering, rime-covered trees, with the sunshine striking full upon +them and bringing out sparks of light from every branch and twig. +Whatever sounds there were in the streets came to her softened and +mellowed over the snow-laden ground, and as she listened she felt a +great wave of inward happiness surge into her heart and make the +possibilities of life seem very different to her from anything she had +ever dreamed of before. The snow, the sound of chiming Christmas +bells, worked upon her, and made her feel that it would be easy to be +good, and that her days ought all to be like this; that she would make +them so, serene and melodious, every one a festival. + +She heard Miss Blake stirring in the next room, and tore herself away +from her dreams to begin the day well with a prompt appearance at the +breakfast table. + +"It seems to me that if father were only here I wouldn't have a thing +left in the world to wish for," she said happily, spearing a gold-brown +scallop with her fork and eating it with relish. + +Miss Blake put down her coffee-cup just as she was carrying it to her +lips, and her face wore the curious expression that Nan had so often +noticed there and could never account for. But the girl was too busy +with her own thoughts to regard it to-day, and the governess hastened +to respond: + +"Then next year, please God, you will be quite entirely happy. And a +year is not long to wait." + +"No, indeed!" broke in Nan. "Why, I never knew the time to go as +quickly as it does lately. It doesn't seem any while at all since you +came, and you've been here over two months. Just let's think what +we'll do next Christmas, when father is home. To begin with, I'm going +down to the dock with Mr. Turner, so that when the ship comes in he'll +see me the first thing. Then we'll come up here, and you and Delia +will be waiting to welcome him at the door, and there'll be decorations +and things and--" + +"You forget, dear Nan," Miss Blake said, gently interrupting her, "that +I shall not be here then." + +The girl's face fell and the light died out of her eyes. Then she +brightened again suddenly. + +"Oh, you must, you must! Why, my father will want to see you. Of +course you'll be here. You'll have to stay and meet him. You can +surely do as much as that. You don't know how dear my father is! And +so handsome and good! Why, if you once saw him you couldn't possibly +be afraid. He's simply the kindest man in the world, and when he +smiles at you, you just love him--you can't help it." + +Miss Blake herself smiled faintly. "I am sure he is all you say, Nan," +she replied. "But listen! There go the first bells. We must hurry or +we shall be late for church." + +The girl rose and made her way rather slowly to the stairs. Somehow +she felt less light-hearted than she had done a few minutes before. +What was it? She could not understand. The world had seemed all joy +and sunshine to her a quarter of an hour since, and now there was a +cloud over her heart that dimmed for her even the radiant prospect of +her father's return. + +"I feel just like sitting down and having a good cry--if I ever did +such a thing," she said to herself as she fastened on her new hat and +tried to be glad that it was so becoming. + +But as she and Miss Blake walked along the streets in the midst of a +crowd of happy, chatting church-goers her spirits rose, and she nodded +gayly to the Buckstone girls and Harley Morris, and broke into quite a +ripple of laughter as John Gardiner overtook them and asked if the +wheel he had brought her the night before had proved a good one. + +"Oh, it was immense!" answered Nan, merrily. + +The services were beautiful, and Nan entered into them heart and soul, +listening to the sermon with rapt attention and letting her fresh young +voice swell out jubilantly in the dear, familiar carols as she had +never done before. + +As they went out of church Miss Blake said to her softly: + +"You won't mind going on without me, will you, Nan? I have a little +errand to do before I go home. Tell Delia I'll be back in time for +dinner." + +[Illustration: "I have a little errand to do"] + +"But why can't I go with you?" demanded the girl. + +"Because it--it wouldn't be best. I will explain it to you later. Now +I must go. Tell Delia what I said. But if I should happen to be +delayed don't wait, and don't--that is, tell Delia not to worry. +Good-bye!" and she was around the corner before Nan could say another +word. + +Ruth Andrews joined her and they walked along together, falling at once +into the easy terms of familiarity that had sprung up between them the +night before. + +"O Nan!" began Ruth abruptly, "you aren't going to be such a goose as +to back out of joining the skating club just because--well, because +Mary Brewster's such a prig? She isn't the whole membership, not by a +good deal, and the rest of us count on your coming. Why, you'll be a +tremendous acquisition. And the first meet is to-morrow. Won't you +come?" + +Nan hesitated. "It isn't because I'm a goose," she said at length. +"That is, I mean--oh, I can't explain it, but really, Ruth, I'd rather +not join. I wouldn't have a good time myself, and I'd only be spoiling +Mary Brewster's pleasure. It's no use. I know she's not the whole +club, and I really think the rest of you would like to have me, but +somehow, knowing she didn't want me, would spoil the whole thing and +I'd just be miserable the entire time." + +Ruth shook her head as if at the hopeless state of Nan's obstinacy, but +she broke in again immediately with a new suggestion: + +"Besides, I don't think you can be at all sure she feels that way now. +Why, I myself heard her telling you and Miss Blake that she hoped you +and she would know each other better after this." + +"Well, so we do," said Nan, whimsically. "I know now for a certainty +that she doesn't want me, and she knows that I won't go where I'm not +wanted, and if that isn't getting acquainted with a vengeance I'd like +to know what is." + +Ruth laughed ruefully, but broke in, with sudden inspiration: "O dear! +You're as proud as a peacock, Nan Cutler. Louie will be dreadfully +disappointed, for she told me to tell you she counted on you to take +her out. She's never skated much, you know, and she's wobbly on her +ankles. She's afraid of the teachers, and she doesn't like to ask the +boys, because they hate to have a girl hanging on to them, and the rest +of us have as much as we can do to attend to our own affairs." + +Nan's face lit up with quick pleasure. "Oh, if Louie needs me I'll +come in a jiffy. If you see her, won't you tell her I'll be only too +happy to teach her everything I know?" + +"Then we'll call for you at ten sharp to-morrow morning," announced the +wily Ruth, and before Nan could change her mind she had slipped off and +left her standing with her word given at her steps. + +"Where's Miss Blake?" asked Delia, opening the door in answer to Nan's +ring and seeing her alone. + +"Gone off somewhere on an errand or something. I don't know. She said +she'd be home for dinner, but if she wasn't, not to worry and not to +wait." + +Delia wrung her hands. "O Nan, child, why did you let her away from +you? She's gone to the Duffys; I know she has. And they've scarlet +fever in the house. The milkman told me so this morning at mass. +She's been going there for weeks, doing for them and carrying them +money and things. The youngest of the children had been sick all the +week, and now she's down with the fever. If I'd only thought to tell +her this morning! But my head was so full of the breakfast and +clearing up a bit after last night that I forgot. Oh, why did you let +her away from you?" + +"How could I know?" cried Nan, almost savagely. "I never knew she went +to such places! What has she got to do with the Duffys, anyhow? Why +hasn't somebody stopped her from going, I should like to know? She's +no business to run such risks. The first thing you know she'll catch +the fever, and then--and then--" + +She turned her back on Delia, and the next moment was flying upstairs +two steps at a time. + +"What are you going to do, Nan?" cried the woman. + +"Go after her and bring her home!" shouted the girl. + +But Delia barred the way when she tried to come down again. "You can't +do that, Nan," she protested. "It would only make things worse. Just +wait, and see if she comes home to dinner." + +"No; I want to go now!" persisted the girl. + +"But don't you see it would only worry her?" insisted Delia. + +Nan considered. "Well, I'll wait till dinner," she admitted; "but if +she isn't here by then I'll start." + +She sat down by the parlor window and commenced to watch. It seemed to +her that every one in town came into sight but the one she was looking +for with such curious anxiety. Suddenly her heart gave a great leap. +She flew to the front door and flung it wide. + +"She's come! She's come!" she shouted to Delia, exultantly. + +"Nan, Nan!" cried Miss Blake, hearing the joyous ring in her voice and +seeing the glad light in her eyes. "What is the matter? Has anything +happened? Has--has any one come?" As she spoke her lips grew white. + +"Yes! You're the matter! You've happened! You've come! I tell you +I'm glad! And don't you ever go to those Duffys again, where there's +scarlet fever, and you can die of it!" + +Miss Blake sank upon the hall-chair and held her hand to her heart. + +"Why, what's the matter?" gasped Nan, frightened at the sight of her +white face. + +"Nothing, dear, nothing! I was startled--that was all." + +"But who startled you?" persisted the girl. + +"Not you. It is all over now." + +"You see," Nan hastened to explain, "the milkman told Delia there was +scarlet fever at the Duffys, and we thought you had gone there, and it +scared us to death." + +"But I told you to tell Delia not to worry." + +"Much good telling would do! Besides, you didn't tell me not to worry. +Of course, she'd worry anyhow and so would I. But is it true? Have +the Duffys got scarlet fever?" + +Miss Blake hesitated. Then she said, truthfully, "Yes, they have, Nan. +Little Mary Ellen has it. But you need not be afraid. I would not +come back into this house without taking every precaution." + +Nan cast on her an indignant look. "And you think that's what made us +worry?" she asked, and turned on her heel and tramped upstairs in high +displeasure. But she had scarcely got as far as the landing when she +felt a hand upon her arm. + +"Nan, forgive me. I didn't think so--really. I know you had my safety +in mind. But I have been very careful all along. And now I have a +good nurse for the child, and I think she will pull through." + +"But promise me you won't go there any more," demanded Nan, sternly, +only half mollified. + +"I promise gladly. They don't need me now, and it would be wicked to +take an unnecessary risk." + +"Well, I should think so. Now, remember, you've promised. O Delia! +Is dinner ready?" + +All through the meal Miss Blake was aware of Nan's eyes fixed upon her +in a peculiarly scrutinizing gaze. She was puzzled, but asked no +questions, sure that, sooner or later, the girl would disclose the +reason herself. At length it came. + +"Does your head ache, Miss Blake?" + +"No, dear; why?" + +"Because your cheeks are pretty red, and I thought you might not be +feeling very well." + +"Probably the brisk wind has made them so, for I feel very well indeed." + +"Oh!" + +But at twilight Miss Blake came upon her bending double over a volume +of the Encyclopaedia, and a glance showed her what article the girl was +studying. It was that headed "Scarlet fever." + +The book was shut with a clap, and Nan stalked off to replace it in the +book-case without a word. She came back in a moment, however, and +stood before Miss Blake like a grim young Fate, her dark eyes full of +care and worry. + +"See here! You've got to take something. There's no use fooling with +a sickness like that. Your cheeks are red, and I shouldn't wonder but +your throat is sore. When you came home you kind of went to pieces on +the hall chair, and I guess your head is aching this minute. I don't +say you've got scarlet fever, but--it looks mighty like it, that's all. +Now don't be scared. I'll take care of you. I can, you know, if I put +my mind to it." + +Miss Blake dared not hug her, though it was precisely what she longed +to do. She dared not laugh at her, either, for that would give lasting +offense when Nan was so deadly in earnest. What she did was to say +brightly, but in quite as off-hand and matter-of-fact way as the girl +herself had spoken: + +"I'm sure you could. But you see I am perfectly well. Honestly, I +haven't a pain nor an ache, and if my cheeks are still red it's because +the skin has been frost-nipped. I give you my word of honor I will go +to a doctor if I feel the slightest symptom." + +Her tone was so heartily sincere that Nan could not doubt her. She +drew a long breath of relief, as if a heavy load had been lifted from +her heart, and threw herself upon the lounge with a contented sigh. + +"Just think," she said. "Last night this time I didn't even know I was +going to have a party, and now it's all over and done with, and Ruth +and Louie want me to go skating with them to-morrow. It's been the +happiest Christmas I ever spent, with the exception of the Duffy part, +and I wish it could last forever." + +"I think some of it will," replied Miss Blake in her gentle voice, as +Delia came to light the lamps. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII + +ON THE ICE + +There was a great crowd on the lake. It was perfect skating weather, +and every one who had skates and could use them, had come to enjoy the +advantage of the first real ice of the season. The banks were thronged +with onlookers, and it was a great inspiration to the expert ones to +know that their performances would be watched and commended by such an +audience as this. + +"Goodness, girls! Did you ever see such a crush?" asked Louie +feverishly, hurrying her pace, as she, Nan, and Ruth neared the spot. + +"There won't be room to move," announced Nan, adding with a laugh, +"much less to fall down in." + +"All the better for me! I'll put on my skates and let the crowd push +me round. I'm never too sure of myself, but in a crush like this, one +can't go over, so I'm saved a heap of worry!" cried Ruth with a jolly +laugh. + +Nan's skates were on in a twinkling, and she longed with all her heart +to be off and away. But the sight of poor Louie, struggling vainly +with her refractory straps, kept her back. + +"Oh, do hurry," urged Ruth excitedly. + +"Did you ever see such contrary things?" gasped Louie, her cheeks +crimson with cold, and the exertion of bending double in her fur jacket. + +"Give them to me; I'll get them on in a jiffy," and Nan was down on her +knees and the skates secured before Louie had even time to thank her +with a look. + +"Now, do come on!" cried Ruth, fairly dancing with eagerness. + +"Oh, wait! wait! Please wait!" pleaded Louie. "This is the first time +I've been on the ice this year, and I feel so nervous I could scream." + +John Gardiner spun past with a nod and a flourish, but a moment later +wheeled about and came skimming up to where they were standing, saying +briskly: + +"Jolly day, isn't it? Ice in first-rate shape, too. Too many people, +but after a few of them get tired out it will be all right. Don't +suppose they'd care to stand aside and let us show them what skating +is, eh, Nan?" + +Nan laughed. "Perhaps they wouldn't like the figures we'd cut. I'm +not sure I would myself. Pride goes before a fall, and I'd rather be a +bit humble and keep on my feet." + +"As though you'd ever take a tumble," cried the young fellow with great +scorn. "Oh, I say, come along and let's do a turn or two, as we did on +the Steamer last year. Don't you remember what a rousing cheer we got? +Let's try it again." + +For an instant Nan's blood leaped. She liked to do daring things, and +she loved applause. John Gardiner was as much at home on his skates as +she was on hers, and they were singularly at ease together. Moreover, +way down in her heart was a sort of lurking pride at being especially +chosen by this favorite among the "fellows" and being seen with him in +his attractive suit and his graceful "Norwegians" that were the envy +and admiration of all the other fellows in town. It certainly was a +temptation, and for a moment Nan yielded to it. Then she looked at +Louie's anxious face and shook her head. + +"I'm heaps obliged," she said. "But I guess I'd better not to-day. It +wasn't much harm at the Steamer, for there was no crowd there to speak +of; but here it's so public, I'm afraid it wouldn't look well." + +John threw back his head and laughed. + +"As if you cared how things look!" he cried, frankly. + +Nan's cheeks reddened furiously. She looked down and drew a figure on +the ice with the tip of her skate. Her confusion could not escape him, +and he caught himself up instantly. "I mean, you've always been so +sensible, you know. You haven't cared for tattle or nonsense. That's +what's made us like you so. A fellow hasn't had to be on the continual +jump for fear your hat wasn't on straight or your hair was coming down. +You're as plucky as a boy, and it's like having another jolly, good +fellow about when you're around. You're not going back on all that? +You aren't going to turn girly-girly? You aren't going to be a Nancy, +are you?" + +She lifted her head with a jerk. "No; I'm going to stay plain Nan," +she retorted. "But I can't go out with you this morning, John--at +least not now. Later I may take a turn if you're willing." + +He saw that there was no shaking her resolution, and turned away with a +frown and a sigh. + +"Very well. If you won't, you won't. I'll look you up by and by, +though, and maybe you'll have changed your mind by then," and he was +off like a flash, his flying feet seeming scarcely to touch the ice, +and his long, curved, glistening skates flashing back the sunlight from +their dazzling nickel blades. + +Louie clutched Nan's arm. "Oh, I'm so glad you didn't go!" she said, +agitatedly. "I'm all of a tremble, and I'm sure I'll slip if you don't +hold on to me." + +So Nan held on to her, and slowly piloted her this way and that, urging +her gently to strike out alone, and patiently waiting until she had the +courage to try. Ruth darted hither and thither, minding it as little +when she went down herself as when she was the cause of others doing +so, and always skating with an awkward energy that was refreshing to +behold. + +"O Nan!" panted Louie, "how did you learn?" + +"By getting up whenever I fell down," declared Nan, succinctly. + +Ruth came toward them with arms flying like windmills. + +"O girls!" she gasped; but just here her feet went from under her, and +she sat squarely upon the ice with a great plump. "O girls!" she +repeated, not a bit abashed and without trying to get up, "Mary +Brewster and Grace are over there, and they just asked John to take +them out--at least Mary did--and he said he was ever so sorry, but his +'card was full,' and they are simply furious." + +"Get up!" commanded Nan, with lips that would twitch in spite of her +efforts to control them. "You'll catch your death of cold!" + +Ruth grasped her outstretched hand and struggled to her feet. "How are +you getting on, Lu?" she asked, shaking the snow from her skirts. + +"I think I'm doing a little better. Don't you, Nan?" appealed Louie, +tremulously. + +"Why, yes. You'll skate as well as any one after you've once gained +courage," Nan returned cheerfully, and took up the slow, tedious task +again of steering her laboriously this way and that, Louie meanwhile +clinging to her arm and uttering little panic-stricken shrieks that +irritated Nan beyond measure. No one could conceive how hard it was +for the girl not to desert her clinging companion. She knew in her +heart that Louie would never master the knack unless she were made to +rely upon herself. As long as she could depend on Nan's support she +would not make any effort to use her own energy, nor would she exert +her will-power to force herself to strike out alone. The ice was in +perfect condition to-day, but it would not long remain so with such a +crowd cutting it to pieces, and the sun already thawing the powdered +snow and threatening to do more damage to-morrow. If Nan lost her +chance now she might not have another so good in weeks to come, for the +weather was always uncertain and the holidays were short. Everything +seemed to urge her to break loose from her self-imposed martyrdom and +go her way rejoicing; the crisp air that sang in her ears and filled +her with a sense of glorious exhilaration; the shimmering sunlight on +the ice that seemed to scud before her and invite her to join in the +race; the knowledge that she was in reality doing Louie a doubtful +service by staying beside her, and, last of all, the look of +disappointment in John's eyes as he shot past them at intervals, and +saw that Nan was not yet ready to capitulate. A sort of war with +herself was waging in her mind; her sense of duty against her +preferences; her long established habits against her newly found +resolutions. She had resolved to be like other girls in the future. +It was like headlong, impulsive Nan to make a resolve like this, and +never stop to realize that it was only the exaggeration of herself that +proved objectionable; that it would be as impossible for her to be +sedate and silent and serious as for a dashing dandelion to become a +dainty buttercup. + +To her it seemed as if Miss Blake and the rest--were demanding of her +just such a metamorphosis and she had been trying--she really had--to +recast herself in the mold she thought they exacted. And now here came +John Gardiner, surely the nicest and most mannerly young fellow she +knew, and the one whom even Miss Blake was pleased to call "a perfect +gentleman"--here came John Gardiner, and told her that her despised +characteristics were precisely the ones that made her valuable. She +shook her head. It was no use; she could not understand. + +"O Nan!" cried Louie, shunting along clumsily by her side and clutching +her arm in desperation. "Won't you please get me over to the shore? +I'm all tired out. I guess I'll go in for a bit and warm up and get +rested, and then I'll come out again, may be, and take another try." + +Nan assented with alacrity. + +"You've made a pretty good beginning," she said with new encouragement +in her voice. + +"Oh, it's always the same!" wailed Louie. "Year before last I got so I +could do it quite respectably, and then last year I had to learn all +over again. I really thought I'd pick it up where I left off this +year, but you see how it is! The very sight of the ice when I'm on +skates makes me quake." + +"Just force yourself to do it and you'll be surprised to see how soon +you'll be skimming all over creation," advised Nan, as she unfastened +her friend's skates and saw her start stiffly up the path to the Lodge. + +Her heart gave a bound as she realized that she was at last alone and +untrammeled. She pulled her Russian cap well into place, thrust her +hands deep into her pockets, and set out for the middle of the lake, +her lithe young body swaying gently forward as she was carried this way +and that by her gliding feet. She looked about for John, but he was +nowhere to be seen, and she concluded that he had given up expecting +her and had either gone home or joined other friends. Ruth was forging +about after her own peculiar fashion, getting in every one's way and +under every one's feet, and enjoying it all immensely. She was +perfectly self-reliant, and Nan did not feel that there was any +necessity of offering assistance or even companionship to such a +self-sufficient, resolute maiden, and so she set about enjoying her +independence with a clear conscience. A moment later she had forgotten +everything but the keen delight of the delicious exercise; the fresh +current of air upon her cheeks; the sense of flashing through space +"without any appreciable effort; the knowledge of her mastery of the +art. She had not a shadow of fear. Instead, she felt a sort of wild +exultation in her own daring, and set about doing difficult feats with +an added delight in the very risk of the thing. Suddenly a shadow shot +toward her from the back, caught her by the arm and went flying +forward, suiting his rhythm to hers in an instant. + +"Oh! heyo, John! I thought you'd gone home!" said Nan. + +"Not a bit of it. Think I'd leave the ice when it's as prime as this? +Not much. What under the canopy have you been about all this time? +Toting Lou Hawes around when you ought to be making the best of the +rarest chance you'll get this season, maybe?" + +"Oh, that's all right," rejoined Nan in a matter-of-fact way. "I liked +to do it--for a change. And she's a little timid." + +"Well now, you're free, let's have a couple of extra good turns just to +make up for lost time," and he took her hand and started off on a fine, +free swing, Nan gliding beside him in such perfect accord that it +seemed as if one impulse moved them both. They swung apart rejoined, +and swung apart again. Then, dropping her hand John gave a curving +glide to the right which took him a pace ahead of her, and she, +repeating his movement, but toward the left, passed easily before him +on the other side, so on and on in a sort of progressive chain, until +at a sign they sped backward, reversing the order in which they had +come, and reached the starting point and circled round it, clasping +crossed hands and chatting gayly the while. + +John saw that they had already attracted some attention, and it only +made his pulses quicken. He also saw that Nan was oblivious to +everything, but the mere delight of what she was doing, and he did not +think it worth while to remind her that this was not the Steamer, and +that if she wished to be inconspicuous, as she had suggested, she would +better limit herself strictly to a commonplace gait. Instead he bent +toward her, and said in a quick, low undertone, "I'll bet a quarter +you've forgotten how to cut your name." + +"Oh, have I?" cried Nan, the spur pricking sharply at her pride. "Want +to see me do it?" and off she went accordingly, accomplishing the +difficult figure without a thought of hesitation, and returning to his +side laughing and triumphant. + +"Now the spiral! Forward! Left foot first! Now right! Combination!" + +John gave the directions in a sort of tense whisper. He was mortally +afraid Nan would become conscious, and see what was going on about her. +But he might have spared himself the trouble. She was absolutely blind +to the crowd that had gathered about them, and all the commendation she +was aware of was that which he gave her in a murmured "Good!" or "Fine!" + +A wide circle had been cleared for them, and in it they and one or two +other hardy souls were exhibiting their prowess, while the throng +outside whispered and applauded and made comments on the different +skaters and their respective skill and grace. + +"There! That's the serpentine he's doing now! Isn't it pretty?" + +"It must be frightfully hard to go backward like that!" + +"I should think he'd fall on his head!" + +"Look! See! She's starting off again! Doesn't she do it well?" + +"Who is she, anyway?" + +Nan had completed her figure, and was waiting at the edge of the circle +for John to finish his and to come and join her. She stood well back, +so that she might not interfere with the others, and thus it was that +she was waked from her trance with an abrupt shock by the sound of two +whispering voices, seeming almost at her ear, their murmur carried so +in the chill, crystal air. + +"Didn't I tell you she was a bold thing?" + +"Sh! She'll hear you! She's right in front of us--only those men +between." + +"No she won't, either. We're too far away. Didn't I tell you Lu's and +Ruth's friendship was for one night only? I knew well enough why Lu +asked her to come. Any one could see through that. She wants to learn +how to skate, and this was as ready a way as any to be taught, and she +jumps at the chance." + +"Oh, do hush! She'll hear!" + +"Don't care if she does. I don't know what your opinion is, but mine +is that it's positively brazen of her to do such things before a crowd +like this. Dragging John Gardiner into it, too! It's a disgrace!" + +"Sh, please! There he comes!" + +Nan pulled herself wearily forward a step or two to meet him. + +"I say, what's up? What's the matter?" he demanded anxiously, looking +into her face and seeing the change it had undergone. + +"Nothing! Nothing!" she reassured him quickly. "I'm tired, that's +all. And I didn't realize these people were watching us. Let's get +out of this. I hate the way they stare. I want to go home." + +John took her by the elbow and steered for the bank. + +"Won't you find Grace and Louie first? You came with them, didn't you? +They won't know what's become of you." + +"I don't care! I want to go home!" she repeated irritably. + +They sped forward silently, and in a moment had reached the shore. Nan +trembled so as she tried to unfasten her skates that John pushed her +hands aside and made her submit to having him assist her. + +"You've caught cold!" he said remorsefully, "I was a brute to keep +urging you on. But I didn't dream you were tired. You looked so +bright and well." + +"I'm not tired. I haven't caught cold!" said Nan. "Don't bother about +me, please. Go back and finish up your skate!" + +"Thank you kindly, ma'am," rejoined he, removing his own skates. "But +I've finished it up already," and he grasped her arm and tramped her +off in the direction of the Park entrance with vigorous steps. + +"Won't Lou and Ruth wonder?" he ventured again after a moment of +silence. + +"No! They don't care!" cried Nan, dismally. + +"The mischief they don't!" and John gave vent to an exclamation of +disbelief. "Why, Ruth was only telling me half an hour ago how good and +generous you were, and Louie caught me in the Lodge and went into regular +spasms over you. You're the patientest, the generousest--everythingelse-est +girl she knows. I had actually to tear myself away from her raptures when I +saw that you were free of her and could take a turn with me." + +Nan shook her head. + +"No, you're wrong, John!" she said hopelessly. "They don't like me. +None of them do. It's no use. I thought Christmas eve I might make +them, perhaps--but I give it up. I'm too--different!" + +"Now, see here, Nan!" cried John, stopping suddenly in the middle of +the path and confronting her squarely, "this change of base has come on +you all of a sudden. You weren't in such a state before. You've seen +something or heard something that's given you a turn. Say now, haven't +you, honestly?" + +Nan gulped and nodded grimly. + +"I thought so. Well, now, you say you're different from the other +girls, and so you are in most ways, but just at present you're doing +the silliest trick I know. Going off by yourself and making people +miserable all around. Do you know what a fellow would do in your +place? Why, he'd go straight to the man he'd heard or seen back-biting +him and he'd make him come out fair and square and own up--or shut up. +'You pays your money and you takes your choice.' That's what a fellow +would do. But girls prefer to be martyrs and go about 'letting +concealment prey upon their damask cheeks' and all that namby-pamby +nonsense. Pshaw! I wouldn't give a rush for a girl's courage. It's +all humbug." + +"It isn't any such thing!" cried Nan, hastening to defend her sex. "It +isn't because I'm afraid that I don't go straight up to the--the +person. It's because I have too much pride. I wouldn't demean myself +by letting her know I care." + +"Oh, fudge! Pride! I like that! Care? Why, whoever she is, she can +see that, anyhow, with half an eye. It's as plain as preaching. You +came with Lu and Ruth, and were as gay and jolly as could be. Then, +all of a sudden, you turn grumpy and want to go home, and say Lu and +Ruth don't like you. The explanation of that is simple enough. You've +heard some one saying something about you, or pretending to repeat +something Lu and Ruth have said about you. There! Now haven't I hit +the nail on the head?" + +Nan made no reply. + +"I wager I have, though," continued the young fellow, watching her +closely, and drawing many of his conclusions from the evidence of her +tell-tale face. "And I'd be ashamed, even if I were a girl, to let +myself be worried by a thing like that. Besides, it isn't fair to Lu +and Ruth. You ought to give them a chance to set themselves straight. +You've no right to believe things of them till you've their own word +for it that it's true. Give them a chance, and if they act queer you +can throw them over." + +"But I can't ask them," burst out Nan. "It wasn't anything they said. +It was about the way they feel, and if I give them a chance they may +throw me over." + +John laughed. "True for you. They may. But anyway, you'd have done +the just thing. Whatever they did to you, you'd have played fair." + +Nan thought a moment. Suddenly she turned on her heel and began to +retrace her steps. "I'm going back," she said, stoutly, "to find Lu +and Ruth! and--and--give them that chance." + +"There! Now you're behaving like an honest man," announced John, with +gusto. "One can't afford to be too perpendicular." + +But before they had taken a dozen steps they came upon the two girls +themselves, running breathlessly toward them. + +"O Nan!" panted Louie. "What is the matter? Are you sick? Are you +hurt? We couldn't find you anywhere!" + +"We looked all over and got terribly nervous, and at last Mary Brewster +told us you had gone home," Ruth broke in, gaspingly. + +"She said John had taken you, and that you kind of walked as if you +were dizzy or something. We've run all the way! Do say, are you +sick?" pleaded Louie. + +"Or hurt?" articulated Ruth. + +John and Nan regarded each other solemnly for a moment. Then they both +broke into a peal of laughter. Nan was the first to speak. + +"No, I'm not sick and I wasn't hurt--the way you mean. I was a +goose--that's all. I want you to forgive me." + +"What for?" demanded the girls, in a breath. + +"Why, for--for--making you run after me," replied Nan. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV + +CHANGES + +"Let's go back after luncheon," suggested Ruth as they tramped homeward. + +The others assented heartily enough, and Nan was so eager to return to +her sport that she did not wait for Delia to let her in at the upper +door, but burst through the basement way, and ran against Miss Blake in +the lower hall. + +"Oh, excuse me!" she panted. "We've had a glorious time. We're going +out again. Please may I have a bite of something quick, so I can run? +We want to make the most of the daylight, and Lu can almost go alone." + +"Certainly. Delia has everything on the table. But won't you want to +run upstairs and give your face and hands a little scrub?" + +Nan's forehead wrinkled, and she was on the point of uttering an +exclamation of disgust. But she caught herself up, and pressing her +lips together hard, flew upstairs without a word of protest. She +finished her luncheon in marvelously quick time. + +"If you wish to go you may be excused," her companion announced, as the +last crumb was swallowed. A gleam of surprise lit upon Nan's face. + +"Thank you," she said, and went her way feeling more contented with +herself than she had done in many a long day. + +It was late when she returned, and not finding Miss Blake in any other +part of the house, she went to the governess' room and tapped on the +door for admittance, a thing she had never done before, from pure +perversity and a determination not to "let any person suppose she cared +to see them when she didn't have to." + +Miss Blake herself opened the door to her and invited her to "step into +her parlor," most cordially, adding: + +"I'm just having my afternoon tea. Won't you take a cup with me?" + +At first Nan could scarcely find voice to reply, so strange did she +feel in this altered room. When she had last seen it it was bare and +cold and comfortless, and now-- + +The windows were draped with inner curtains of dainty Swiss. Hangings +of some soft, pale green stuff hung before them and in all the +doorways. The bed was shoved into a far corner of the room, and where +it had once been, against the wall, a low bookcase now stood, +displaying rows of tempting books upon its well-laden shelves, and +above them delicate bits of bric-a-brac. A rug covered the centre of +the floor. The ugly mantel-shelf was hidden from sight by an Oriental +scarf, and upon it stood all manner of odd and curious trifles. The +shabby lounge was covered by a fine old rug and piled with cushions, +while beside it stood the quaint stand and brass tray that Nan had +feasted from when her foot was lame; only now it held a brightly +burnished alcohol kettle, out of which steam was issuing in the most +hospitable fashion possible. Here also were dainty cups and saucers, +and here it was that Miss Blake brewed her tea after she had led her +guest to a chair and helped her remove her cap and coat with all the +solicitude of a veritable hostess. + +"Well, how has the day gone?" asked she, trying not to betray her +amusement at Nan's obvious amazement. + +"Oh, finely! We had a jolly good time. Lu can go alone now. John and +I took her out and simply made her skate. Ruth goes floundering about +like a seal, and every one laughs at her, but she's so good-natured she +doesn't mind, and one can't help liking her. Such a funny thing +happened. + +"We were standing still for a minute waiting for Lu to catch her +breath, and all at once we saw Ruth coming galloping toward us in her +ridiculous way. A big, fat man was skating in the other direction, but +nowhere near her, and we didn't notice him particularly till she veered +suddenly off and crashed straight into him, without any excuse at all, +just hurled into him plump, and bowled him square over. It was the +most deliberate thing I ever saw. She had gone out of her way to do +it, but, of course, she didn't mean to. They both went crashing down +with such a thump I thought it would break the ice, and as he went over +he said: 'Good gracious!' in the mildest, funniest voice you ever +heard. John hurried off and helped him up, and I got Ruth on her feet +again, all covered with snow, and as mortified as could be, but choking +with laughter. The man looked worried, and we asked him if he was +hurt. He said, 'No! Oh, no indeed!' and then he turned to Ruth with +the most embarrassed sort of apologetic smile--just as if he had been +to blame. + +"'I'm so sorry!' he stammered. 'It is the strangest thing how it could +have occurred. I thought you were over there. I really thought I was +in no one's way. Oh, would you mind telling me--a--what I said when +I--a--fell?' + +"Lu was swallowing her pocket-handkerchief to keep from laughing out, +and I know I was grinning. + +"Why, I think you said, 'Good gracious!'" said Ruth, shakily. + +"'Oh, thank, you!' the man cried, looking ever so much relieved. 'I +thought I said 'Good gracious,' but I--I wasn't sure. I'm very glad!' +and he shambled off as if he were lamed for life, poor thing, while +Ruth and Lu and John and I simply rocked with laughter. And now when +anything happens John says 'Good gracious!' in the mildest tone, and +then goes on, 'What did I say? Oh, thank you. I thought I said "Good +gracious," but I wasn't sure!'" and Nan broke into a chuckle at the +mere recollection of the thing. Miss Blake laughed in sympathy, and +she and Nan drank their tea and nibbled their wafers in the most +amicable fashion possible, talking over, not alone the pleasant +experiences, but also that which had threatened to spoil Nan's day, the +remembrance of which made her shudder even now. + +She repeated the incident to Miss Blake, concluding with: + +"I don't care what they think!" + +"John was right," declared Miss Blake, "and you did what was brave and +just. But don't give up trying to win Mary's and Grace's good opinion, +Nan. I want you to be respected and loved, and you can be, if you will +only be as true to yourself as you are to your friends. You were not +satisfied to let Lu and Ruth rest under a false accusation this +morning. Neither should you be satisfied to let yourself. Prove to +Mary and Grace that you are neither bold nor brazen. Force them to see +that you are kind and lovable and courageous." + +"Oh, dear! How can I?" despaired Nan. + +"Why, simply by being so," declared Miss Blake. + +Nan fell silent, and then, when Miss Blake was just beginning to wonder +what new caprice her guest had fallen victim to, she broke out +impetuously: + +"Oh, I say Miss Blake! it is just festive in here. I never saw +anything that began to be so pretty." + +It was genuine praise, and Miss Blake really flushed with gratification +as she replied: + +"Thank you, Nan. I think myself it is cozy, and I am very happy if my +little nest pleases you. It is a very simple one. I am my own +upholsterer and my own decorator, so I have a special reason to value +any praise of my small domain. You must come often if you like it +here, for I love to play hostess to so appreciative a guest!" + +Nan settled back among the cushions with a contented sigh. + +"I wish," she said presently, "I wish the rest of the house looked this +way." + +"If you really would like to make some changes, Nan, I will do my best. +What there is in the house is good and substantial, and with a little +alteration could be made to serve very well." + +Nan looked up eagerly. + +"Oh, let's try and fix up the house, for father's coming home. Mr. +Turner will give us some money to pay for repairs, I guess--he always +does when pipes burst and things. Won't it be jolly to watch father's +face when he comes in and sees it all so pretty here? Poor old papa! +Mr. Turner says he may come in the fall, and so we'll have all the +summer to work and plan in, and then when he's here, won't we have a +jubilation, Miss Blake?" + +The governess stooped to pick up a pin, and she did not reply. Then +she rose and carried the tea-cups and plates to the washstand, where +she began rinsing them carefully. + +"When your father comes home I shall not be here, you know," she said +simply; "but you will be very happy together, and I am sure he would +enjoy a pretty home!" + +The radiance in Nan's face faded suddenly. The same dull pain was at +her heart that she had felt and shrunk from yesterday. Only now it did +not pass away, and all the evening she seemed to be haunted by a +peculiar sense of impending misfortune. It was as though she had been +reminded of some unhappy occasion that she had tried to forget. Every +once in a while after that, when she saw Miss Blake laboriously toiling +to renovate some dilapidated piece of furniture, or heard her +discussing with Delia the remaining possibilities of this carpet or +that pair of curtains, she felt an almost uncontrollable desire to cry +out--so sharp was the sudden sting of regret that bit at her +conscience--and so keen the pain that pierced her heart. + +Miss Blake left her to enjoy her holidays in perfect freedom, but as +soon as they were spent the books were brought out again and lessons +resumed as strictly as if the discipline of an entire school depended +on it. + +But study had grown to have no terrors for Nan, and she was not at all +aware of the thorough course she was being put through, because it was +all accomplished in such an unobtrusive fashion. Miss Blake had a +system of her own which she put into practice, and the girl followed +her unconsciously with an interest that showed how wise an one it was. +Latin and mathematics proved the most troublesome of the tasks, and +would perhaps have led to some serious differences of opinion if Miss +Blake had not confessed herself at the start "rusty" in these +particular branches and suggested that they "go over them together." + +"I really never was very strong in either of them, and it will do me +good to review," she explained. + +So, spurred on by the thought of competition, Nan did her best; went +through the declensions with a rush, and quite outstripped her +fellow-student in the matter of algebraic problems. + +History was always simple enough with Miss Blake to make it seem like +the most dramatic of romances, and the girl discovered a fresh interest +in the Roman heroes when the scenes of their exploits was so +graphically described to her, and when she could build up the ancient +city for herself by the aid of Miss Blake's admirable photographs of +the present. + +"It seems to me you have done more traveling than any one I ever knew!" +exclaimed the girl for the hundredth time one day. + +"It has been all I had to do," rejoined the governess wistfully. "For +many, many years I have had nothing else. But now all that is changed, +and--as it is half-past one, and I hear Delia coming up to announce +luncheon, I'll dismiss my class, and declare school over for to-day." + +"That is always the way," mused Nan, "whenever I refer to her and try +to start her telling about herself she veers off and talks of something +else. Queer about her traveling so much, though. I wonder how she +came to do it--when she's so poor. She never said straight out she was +some one's companion, and I don't think a governess would be taken all +over the globe like that." + +While the ice lasted Nan had many a good hour upon her skates. Miss +Blake too donned hers, and at these times the tables were turned and +Nan became the patient teacher, the governess the obedient pupil. + +"My ankles are weak," pleaded the pupil in apology for persistent +failure. + +"Exercise 'em and they'll grow strong!" declared the intrepid +instructor in peremptory tones. + +"It's no use, I can't reverse, Nan!" + +"Pooh! 'Never say can't till you've proved that the task is +impossible,'" quoted Nan, with a gleam of mischief in her eyes. + +"You're real mean, so there!" responded Miss Blake in return with such +a good imitation of her own querulous tone that the girl burst into a +shout of laughter, and the two started off again to make another, +perhaps futile attempt, at the difficult feat, until, by the latter +part of the winter, Miss Blake acquitted herself so creditably that her +teacher regarded her with pardonable pride, and declared, + +"There, now! You ought to be 'all primmed up with majestick pride.' +You skate as well as anybody now, and you've got rid of every particle +of nervousness." + +There were many things beside skating that the governess set herself to +accomplish during these months, and Mrs. Newton often took her to task +for working so hard. + +"You are beginning to look completely fagged. Do let the house go. +What do you fret over it for? If Nan wants alterations, why not let +Mr. Turner engage competent people to do the work? You have +responsibility enough without planning and overseeing all these +improvements." + +But Miss Blake only shook her obstinate little head and continued to +discuss ways and means with Mr. Turner and Delia and to direct the +workmen, who presently took possession of the house, and made it seem +like a Bedlam into which order could never be restored. + +"Oh, that's fine!" cried Nan, clapping her hands when she heard of the +governess' plans. "That hall closet was no good anyhow. Delia only +kept her brooms and dust-cloths there, and it's just the place for a +dumb-waiter. But if we turn the library into a dining-room, what are +you going to do with the books?" + +"The best of them can be put on low shelves along the parlor walls, and +we'll take the rest upstairs and make a sort of cozy study of the front +room for your father." + +"Splendid!" cried Nan. + +For weeks the place was in a turmoil. Carpets were taken up, some of +them never to go down again, curtains were unhung, cleaned and folded +carefully away, and when the coast was clear the work of remodelling +began in earnest. + +It seemed to Nan as if it would never come to an end, but little by +little things began to assume a more promising aspect, and at length +the last lingering workman dragged himself reluctantly away, and then +Delia descended upon the place, armed with scrubbing-brush and pail, +and waged a mighty war upon every spot of dust or paint anywhere to be +found. + +The parlor had been freshly papered, and its walls no longer frowned +gloomily down upon the inoffensive guest, but seemed to cast a faint, +rosy smile at the redecorated hall and the new dining-room beyond. +Miss Blake stripped away every vestige of tarletan, and let the fine +oil paintings display themselves unveiled to the public eye. + +"We can have the windows screened if we are afraid of flies," she said +as she folded away the unsightly shrouds, and Delia echoed, "Why, so we +can!" in the promptest assent, and as though it had been her own idea +all along. + +The draperies were of the simplest sort, but Nan thought them +perfection. She fairly danced with delight as she fancied her father's +face when he should see his altered home. He would never recognize in +this attractive, tasteful room the old, gloomy parlor of former days. + +The furniture was drawn out of its martial line and placed here and +there in inviting positions by loving, artful hands. Various pieces +were banished altogether, and where this chair or that had grown shabby +Miss Blake renewed its usefulness by covering it over with some odd +material that harmonized nicely with the old-fashioned shape of the +frame and the tone of the rest of the room. + +A simple fireplace had been set in the blind chimney-piece, in which +were placed grandma's graceful andirons, buried so long in the attic +that Nan had never seen them, while the old mantel-shelf in the library +was torn out altogether and a stately new one put in its stead, and in +this too was a place for wood and fire-dogs. The two French windows +leading into the glass extension were transformed into doorways, and +gave pleasant vistas of a blooming conservatory, into which the south +sun shone genially the best part of the day. + +Louie and Ruth came in on a special visit of inspection when the work +was all completed, and it did not detract from Nan's enjoyment to hear +them say that they thought the house one of the prettiest they had ever +seen. + +"It has such a fresh, comfortable look," exclaimed Louie. + +"As if you lived in every part of it and enjoyed it yourself, and +wanted other people to enjoy it with you," added Ruth. + +"So we do," declared Nan; "that's just what we do. Isn't it, Miss +Blake?" + +And Miss Blake nodded a smiling assent, though she knew quite well that +until very lately Nan had never thought about the matter at all. She +had taken her home for granted, and it never had occurred to her to try +to improve it in any wise. But the governess had had more in mind than +the mere indulging of the girl's fancy when she set about rearranging +the place. As in most of her characteristic schemes there was "a +method in her madness." Nan soon discovered that a dainty home brought +its obligations with it. + +"Do you notice," said Miss Blake one day, "that since the household +arrangements have been altered there has been a good deal more work to +be done?" + +"Why, I don't know," rejoined Nan; "why should there be?" + +"Because all these bits of bric-a-brac we have set about must be dusted +every day, and because throwing the parlor open, as we do, makes +another room to look after. Then the plants in the conservatory should +be carefully tended if we want them to live, and Delia has to take +double the steps she used to take when we ate in the basement. Really, +Nan, as things stand, I feel the work is going to be too hard for her." + +"Dear me! Whatever are we going to do?" demanded the girl anxiously. + +"Simply, she must have help." + +"You mean another servant?" + +"No, not that. I cannot increase the household expenses in such a way +without your father's knowledge and approval. What we have done now is +almost more than I dare think of. My only comfort is that it has come +out of your money." + +Nan gave a start. "My money!" she exclaimed. "Why, I never knew I had +any. Goodness! tell me about it." + +"There is nothing to tell. Simply, some one who owed your mother a +debt and was unable to discharge it during her lifetime, has paid in a +certain part of it to Mr. Turner for your benefit--or so he tells me. +Both he and I thought it wise to use it in this way. The house is +virtually yours, and unless you improve it from time to time it will +decrease in value. We both felt that since you wished it, and since it +might be looked upon in the light of protecting your property, we might +safely lay out the money as we have done without first consulting your +father." + +"Oh, I'm glad," cried Nan. "I didn't want him to know. It'll be all +the bigger surprise to him when he comes home. But what are we going +to do about Delia?" + +"That is what I want you to tell me," rejoined Miss Blake. + +"I?" queried the girl. "Why, I'm sure I don't know what we can do, +unless we hire another girl--and you say father can't afford that." + +"Now, Nan, listen to me," said Miss Blake, seriously, drawing her chair +to the girl's, and emphasizing her words by laying her hand upon hers +and tapping it gently whenever a point was made. "Let us put the +matter quite plainly, and see if we can't come to a conclusion that +will both help Delia and save us the trouble of engaging another maid. +One pair of hands can't do the work in this house! You admit that?" + +"Yes; I s'pose so," conceded Nan. + +"Well then, obviously, we must secure the aid of another pair--perhaps +even two." + +"Uh-huh!" assented the girl cheerfully enough. + +"Not only that, we must secure the aid of another pair, if not two, at +no additional expense to your father." + +Here Nan's head began to drop. "That's what floors me," she responded +perplexedly. "The rest is easy enough to settle; but how in the world +we are going to get people to work for us for nothing--" + +"What are those things in your lap, Nan?" asked the governess suddenly +with a quick smile and an extra tap of the finger on the girl's palm. + +"My hands, of course." + +"Why shouldn't they be the pair we need? I cordially offer the use of +mine." + +"Oh!" + +Nan's face was rather blank. "I hate housework," she added, and her +mouth drew down at the corners in a pout of petulance. + +"I doubt if any one really cares for it. But it must be done, and in +this case you and I must consent to do it, at least in part. Now that +you have looked the facts in the face, let us say no more about it, +after we have settled just what we prefer to do. I have always taken +care of my own room. Will you see to yours after this?" + +"I s'pose so. + +"Then there is the dusting and the plants." + +"I'll take the plants," Nan hastened to declare. + +"And the dishes on Mondays and Tuesdays?" continued Miss Blake. + +There was a pause. + +"If there's one thing I despise it's washing dishes," cried the girl, +her voice trembling with irritation. + +The governess looked down at her own two delicate little hands and +seemed to be considering. Then she raised her head quickly, and said, +without a shade of resentment in her voice: + +"Very well then, dear, I'll take the dishes. So here is the way it +stands: You care for the plants and your own room and I'll look after +my room and do the dusting and the dishes." + +"You'll have more to do than I," hesitated Nan. + +"No matter; if you do your share well, and don't neglect it, I am +willing to stand by my part. Is it a bargain?" + +Nan nodded grimly, and they shook hands upon it. + + + + +CHAPTER XV + +A TUG OF WAR + +"Is Nan in?" asked Ruth, coming to the house one day in the very teeth +of a blinding snowstorm, and putting the question to Delia with a very +decided note of excitement in her voice. + +"Yes, she's in; but she's pretty busy," replied Delia, showing the +guest into the dining-room, where the bright logs were blazing +cheerfully in the fireplace, and where Miss Blake, enveloped in a huge +apron, was kneeling before the hearth and polishing its tiles till they +shone like gems. She stopped to welcome the guest in her own hearty, +informal fashion. + +"O Ruth! come in and sit down. I wondered who could be brave enough to +face a storm like this. Why, it is almost a blizzard. Take off your +things, dear, and get warmed. You won't mind my going on with my work?" + +"Oh, no! not at all. Please don't stop. Thank you. This is as +comfortable as can be. But then, one always is comfortable here. I +came to see Nan about something important. She's busy?" + +"Yes, in her room. But if you don't mind waiting a little I think she +will soon be able to come down," responded the governess genially. + +"Then I'll sit here, if you don't mind," and the girl settled herself +in an engulfing armchair with a sigh of satisfaction, her eyes +following Miss Blake from place to place as she tripped briskly about, +energetically wielding her dust cloth and whisk broom and humming +contentedly as she worked. + +"Perhaps you won't approve of the plan that I've got in my mind, and +won't let Nan go into it," ventured Ruth, presently. + +"I can't fancy you suggesting anything that I would so seriously +disapprove of as that," returned Miss Blake, smiling kindly, but asking +for no further enlightenment on the subject than her guest was inclined +to give of her own accord. + +"Well, then, it's this: If the cold weather lasts we'll have elegant +sleighing, with all this snow, and I want to hire a sleigh, just any +common old thing will do, and fill it with straw, and all of us girls +and boys go off on a screamingly fine sleigh-ride. If it clears we'll +have a full moon, and I think it would just be the jolliest thing in +the world. Now please say Nan can go. She'll love to I know, and she +always makes things snap so," pleaded the girl, fixing her eyes on Miss +Blake's face with a peculiar intensity of expression. + +The governess hesitated. + +"Oh, please say she can," reiterated Ruth. + +"My dear Ruth, I can't say anything until I know more of the matter. +You say you girls and boys are to go. What girls and boys do you mean?" + +"Why, Lu and Grace and Mary and the Buckstone girls, of course; and +John Gardiner and Harley Morris and Everett Webster, and oh! all those +fellows--the ones in our set; you've met them all." + +"And is there to be no grown woman in the party--no chaperone?" +suggested Miss Blake. + +Ruth looked down and began picking a thread from the thumb of her glove. + +"Oh, of course; mamma wouldn't let me go unless there was a chaperone," +she replied after a moment, but tamely, with the ring all faded out of +her voice. + +"No, I am sure she would not," the governess remarked dryly. + +"I thought of you at once," Ruth began again with an upward glance that +however did not meet Miss Blake's eye. "But then we all thought that +it would be too much to ask of you--to ride all those miles with a +noisy crowd in the cold and night, and--so on, and so--so--just before +I came here I ran into Mrs. Cole and asked her to chaperone us, and she +said she would." + +The governess laid her duster on a chair, and unbuttoned her apron very +deliberately. + +"Mrs. Cole," she repeated half-aloud, as if speaking to herself, and +her tone had something in it that seemed to call for some sort of +justification from Ruth. + +"You know she's just been married, and she's as full of fun as she can +be. And she likes a good time immensely, and loves to be with us +girls, and it won't bore her a bit to go, and it's ever so much better +to have her than--than--some one who wouldn't enjoy it, you know." + +"Is Mr. Cole to be of the party?" Miss Blake inquired, still with that +odd inflection. + +"Why, no," responded Ruth, twisting her handkerchief into a hard knot. +"There won't be room for him. But Mrs. Cole said it didn't matter in +the least. She says she often goes off and leaves him, and he has just +as nice a time sitting home with his cigar and a book or something." + +"They have been married, I think, three months," Miss Blake commented +half to herself. + +"Yes, about," replied Ruth. "And Mrs. Cole is just as gay and jolly as +she ever was. You may think that it isn't very dignified for a married +woman to--" + +"Oh! my dear Ruth," interrupted the governess hastily, "I am not +disparaging Mrs. Cole, and I have no right to express an opinion +concerning her conduct, but I think--yes, I am quite sure that I prefer +Nan not to join your party." + +Ruth jumped from her chair with a cry of protest: "O Miss Blake! Don't +say that! Think of it, we're going to drive down as far as Howe's and +have a supper and it will be such fun. We want Nan awfully. She's +just the best company in the world, and if she doesn't go it will +be--well, it will be too bad. Do please say she may." + +Miss Blake shook her head somewhat sadly. "I can't say so, Ruth. +There are special reasons why Nan ought not to go--reasons that I can +only explain to her, but which I am sure she will understand. You +other girls have your mothers, but Nan has none, and that means that +she has no protector, now that her father is absent, unless I can stand +in such a relation to her. Believe me, I do not voluntarily deny Nan +any pleasure, but there are some instances in which I must." + +"But it's going to be perfectly proper," Ruth insisted, almost in +tears. "You don't think my mother would let me go if it wasn't going +to be perfectly proper, do you, Miss Blake?" + +The governess stood before the fire and rested her arm on the high +mantel-shelf, tapping the fender lightly with the toe of her slipper. +At Ruth's question she turned her head quickly from the flames toward +the girl with a compassionate smile. + +"No," she hastened to declare, "I am sure your mother would not let you +go to anything that she knew to be in any respect not altogether as it +should be." + +There was just the shade of an emphasis on the word knew--just the +merest breath of a pause before it. Miss Blake gazed frankly and +fearlessly into the girl's eyes as she spoke, and Ruth's lids dropped +suddenly as if she had been trying to look at the sun and it had +blinded her. + +There was a pause and in it they could distinctly hear Nan's feet going +to and fro on the floor above their heads, and her sharp young voice +shouting the chorus of some tuneless popular air, in her own perfectly +cheerful, earless fashion. + +"Oh, Miss Blake, please!" quavered Ruth. + +If she had known the governess as well as Nan did she would have known +that it was worse than useless to "tease." As it was, she was aware of +some force here that did not appear in her own easy-going mother, and +unconsciously she bowed to it--but even as she did so she gave a last +wail of entreaty from pure force of habit. + +"Please, Miss Blake!" + +"No, Ruth. I can't consent to Nan's joining you. If she goes, it will +be in direct defiance of my authority and against my wish and approval. +But when she hears what I have to say I do not think she will go." + +"Don't think who will go?" demanded an eager voice, as Nan came pelting +in at the door, having flung down stairs in such a whirl that they had +scarcely realized she had started before she was here. + +"Heyo, Ruth! When did you come? You're a dear girl to venture out a +day like this! Who'll go where, 'you don't think,' Miss Blake?" + +Ruth rose and began dragging on her gloves. "Hello," she said, +blankly, in return for the other's greeting. + +"Who'll go? Who'll go?" insisted Nan, tapping the floor with her foot +to emphasize her impatience. + +Ruth looked at Miss Blake a little sullenly, and said nothing. Miss +Blake looked at Nan. + +"You," she returned simply. "I was just saying to Ruth that I am sure +you would not go anywhere against my plainly expressed wish." + +The girl threw back her head with an unrestrained laugh. + +"Oh, now, you're bragging!" she cried breezily. "Don't count too much +on me. I'm a queer creature. I don't know what I'd do if I were hard +put!" + +Ruth glanced at Miss Blake again as she buttoned her coat. The +governess' face was quite placid, but there was an expression in her +eyes that was quite new to the girl and that she did not care to face. + +"The fact of the matter is, Nan," Miss Blake explained, "Ruth has come +here to invite you to join a sleighing party to be given--what night +did you say, Ruth?" + +"The first clear one," responded the girl still sullenly. + +"The first clear night," resumed Miss Blake. "All your friends are +going, and it would give me as much pleasure to have you join them as +it would you to do so, but--under the circumstances it is impossible to +do anything save--" she paused an instant, and Nan broke in impatiently: + +"Under what circumstances? There aren't any circumstances! A +sleighing party! Why, it'll be just magnificent and gorgeous! Of +course I'll go. Hurrah! Ruth, you're a dear to ask me! Go? Well, I +should think so!" + +Ruth fastened her fur boa about her neck, and murmured something almost +inaudible about having to hurry home. + +"Well, you can count on me," cried Nan, flinging her arm about her +friend's waist and escorting her to the door. "Good-bye! Thanks heaps +for asking me! Las' tag!" + +The front door slammed, and the girl came back to the library with her +cheeks aglow and her eyes flashing. "What fun!" she exclaimed. "I +know what we'll do! We'll go down to Howe's and have a supper and a +jolly good time generally. Mary Brewster and Grace and Ruth had it all +planned out for the next good snow, and I'd forgotten. O goody!" + +Miss Blake was standing as they had left her, by the fire, with her +foot upon the fender and her hand upon the high mantel-shelf. Now she +took them both down and turned to Nan, saying in a low, controlled +voice: + +"Nan, I want to talk to you about this party. And you must hear me +out, even if some of the things I am about to say do not please you." +She kept her eyes on the girl's face as she spoke, and saw its +expression change quickly from one of eager anticipation to one of +growing apprehension and then again to one of dogged opposition. So +vivid were these changes that she almost lost the necessary courage to +go on, for she read in them that her task promised to be no easy one. + +"Well?" said Nan, tapping her foot impatiently, as Miss Blake did not +at once continue. + +"Please sit down here, and I will try to say what I have to say as +quickly as possible," resumed the governess, drawing a long breath. + +Nan obeyed, but with a decidedly impatient fling of herself upon the +low ottoman Miss Blake had indicated. + +"As I said to Ruth," the low voice commenced, "under almost any other +circumstances it would give me the greatest pleasure to know that you +were to enjoy this sleighing party with the others. If Mrs. Andrews or +Mrs. Hawes were going it would settle the question at once." + +"Or if you were," suggested Nan, with a curl other lip. + +Miss Blake's face paled, and for an instant she regarded Nan in a sort +of surprised, hurt silence. Then she replied, steadily: "Yes, or if I +were. But as it is Mrs. Cole, the case is entirely altered. Mrs. Cole +is scarcely more than a girl herself, and--I say this to you, Nan, +simply because I must--she has never been, to my idea, a lady-like +young woman. She has always been flippant and frivolous and +boisterous; anything but a good companion for a number of impulsive, +impressionable girls like yourself." + +"Oh, pshaw!" interrupted Nan, impatiently. "There's nothing against +her at all. She's lots of fun, and a body'd be a great goose that +tried to suit all the old frumps in town. She said so herself, and +she's married and she knows." + +A ghost of a smile flitted across Miss Blake's face. Nan's emphasis +reflected so directly on her own condition of unauthoritative +spinsterhood. + +"If you and the other girls have no more careful a chaperone, one who +will be no more of a restraint than Mrs. Cole, I am afraid the party +will prove a rather uproarious one. And I cannot help thinking that +this is precisely the reason Mrs. Cole has been asked to attend you; +that you might not be under any restraint. I don't for a moment think +any of you girls would deliberately take advantage of your liberty, but +you are full of animal spirits, and when you get in full swing it is a +little hard, perhaps harder than you know, to rein yourselves in. I am +afraid Ruth has not been quite candid with her mother. At all events, +I am sure that if Mrs. Andrews realized the circumstances she would +think twice before letting Ruth go. It is not only that I think Mrs. +Cole will not prove a restraint; I am afraid she will intentionally +lead you on. And if she does, I am afraid your sleigh-ride will be +decidedly unconventional." + +"I hope we'll have a splendid time," announced Nan, setting her jaws +with a snap of her teeth. + +But the governess went on as if she had neither seen nor heard. + +"It is very important, Nan, that you especially should not be +identified with anything of the sort. It might injure you in such a +way that the harm could never be repaired." She paused and Nan +straightened herself with a jerk. + +"I'd like to know why it's more important for me than for the other +girls? If their mothers think it's good enough for them I guess it's +good enough for me, and if they can be trusted I guess I can." + +Miss Blake hesitated, but only for a moment. Then she went on steadily +and firmly, but without the least suggestion of sternness in her voice +or manner. + +"The reason is simply this: You have not had the advantages the other +girls have had. You have had no mother; no careful, loving training +from the first, and--excuse me, dear--your behavior has shown it. How +could it be expected not to do so? People have criticized you, and +their criticisms have been severe, unjust even. Lately you have set +yourself right with most of your neighbors, but it has been hard work, +and it has been only begun. It will still be hard work to keep their +good opinion. If you want to hold a place in their esteem you must +earn it and keep on earning it. The other girls might do with perfect +safety what you could not dream of doing, because in them it would be +looked on merely as a single slip; with you it would be backsliding. +Do you understand me, Nan?" + +There was no reply, but the girl's bent head was answer enough. Miss +Blake passed her hand tenderly over the roughened hair, and for a long +time there was silence between them. Nan was thinking, and Miss Blake +was content to let her think. + +The tall clock in the corner tapped out the minutes with slow, even +ticks. The fire burned steadily on the hearth, and the logs settled as +they burned. Outside the high wind raced madly around bleak street +corners, carrying the snow before it in white, blinding clouds. The +air was so full of the swirling, eddying flakes that it dimmed the +light and made evening seem to have settled down long before its usual +time. Every now and then there came to them from the conservatory a +faint, faint breath from a blossoming daphne, as though the delicate +thing were breathing out sweet gratitude for its shelter from the storm. + +Nan could not help responding to the quieting influence of it all. It +was very, very different from the place as it used to be, and she felt +the difference and the suggestiveness of it more now than she had ever +done before. + +Suppose the change in herself was as marked as this? Every one seemed +to like her nowadays. They said she was altered and improved, and if +they said so, she supposed it must be true. What, then, if she were to +turn about and be her old self again? + +What if Miss Blake were to give the house its old aspect again? Ugh! +It was disheartening even to think of such a thing. But granting that +she were to let things go back, she couldn't undo some of the +improvements she had made? So it seemed reasonable to Nan that even if +she let herself be as she had been for awhile, just to rest from the +constant trying to be good, for a day or so, the really important +changes must still remain; like the dumbwaiter and the wall paper and +the frescoes and the woodwork. And, pshaw! Just going to this +sleigh-ride wasn't going to prove that she was backsliding, anyway! +Miss Blake was too particular--making an awful fuss over nothing. Mrs. +Cole was all right enough. Lots of nice people knew her, and the girls +always liked to have her around, she was so gay and jolly. And now +that she was married, it was fun to have her chaperone them, for she +never interfered, nor was wet-blankety, like mothers and people, no +matter what was going on. In fact, she often urged them on and +suggested things the girls themselves would never have thought of, so +that wherever she was the fun promised to run high. It was too bad of +Miss Blake to have put the case as she had. It simply meant that if +Nan went she deliberately disobeyed her wish and defied her authority. + +For the first time the girl seemed to get a glimpse of the tactful, +tender way in which she had been guided. She saw that this was the +first instance in which she had been put under definite restraint. +Always before Miss Blake had left her seemingly to decide for herself, +and she had never been aware of the influence that led her in the right +direction. + +But this was different. This was discipline, and she rose against it +instantly. + +If she did not go on the sleigh-ride she would only be obeying Miss +Blake's injunction. There was no credit or virtue in that. There +might be some satisfaction in denying one's self a pleasure if one felt +one were independent, and that what one did was self-abnegating and +laudable. But if one acted under compulsion--! Pooh! Nan guessed +Miss Blake thought she was a mere child to be ordered about like that. + +And yet, with all this, there was a strange unfamiliar tugging at her +heart to confess herself willing to obey. She actually had to make an +effort to keep from doing so. She scarcely knew how it happened, but +all at once she became conscious that she had shaken herself together +and that she was saying, in no very gracious voice to be sure, but +still that she was saying, "Well, if you will have it your own way, you +will I suppose. There! I promise you I won't go on the sleigh-ride. +Now, does that satisfy you?" + +Miss Blake took her hand from Nan's hair so hastily that the girl +lifted her head in astonishment. But the governess had neither the air +of being angry nor of being wounded as she feared. She simply rose and +said in quite a matter-of-fact tone as she turned toward the door: + +"I demanded no promise of you, Nan, and I give you back your word. +Moreover, I entirely recall my injunction. Do as you please. If you +decide to go you will neither be disobeying my order nor breaking your +own promise. You are quite free and untrammeled, my dear." + +Nan sprang to her feet. + +"Huh!" she cried in an exasperated manner, "I know what you mean! You +mean I am quite free to go and--take the consequences. That's what you +mean." + +Miss Blake paused but made no reply. + +"But suppose there aren't any consequences?" pursued Nan, biting her +lip and scowling darkly from between her knitted brows. + +Miss Blake turned her head. + +"There are always consequences," she said over her shoulder in a voice +that was very low and serious. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI + +THE SLEIGH-RIDE + +The storm lasted for three days and then came a term of perfect +weather. Under foot the snow was packed hard and tight into a compact +mass over a bed of ice, and overhead the sun shone out from a cloudless +sky, while the air was so keen that it kept the mercury very close to +the zero mark even at midday. + +"How is this for high?" demanded Ruth exultantly, as she and Nan met +toward the end of the week, the first time they had seen each other +since that stormy day when the subject of the sleigh-ride had first +been broached to Miss Blake. + +"The weather, you mean? Oh, perfectly fine!" responded Nan. + +Ruth drew a step nearer to her. + +"It's all arranged for to-night. Not a soul has refused; every one +we've asked is going, and the sleigh is a regular old ark. We've got +everything our own way. Mike, from the stables, is as solid as a brick +wall. The horses are perfectly safe and we're going to have footstoves +to keep our toes warm. Mrs. Cole has telephoned down to Howe's to have +our supper ready, and we're going to have a simply stunning time." + +Nan tried to smile, but failed, and Ruth was too full of her own +affairs to notice. + +"We're going to start at eight sharp. First we thought we'd pick up +the party as we went along, but Mrs. Cole said it would waste too much +time, so we're all going to meet at her house. I've so much on my mind +my head's spinning. Be sure you're on hand at eight. We're not going +to wait for any one." + +"O Ruth!" faltered Nan, flinging out a detaining hand as the girl was +about to go. "I'm not going. Didn't I tell you?" + +Ruth stopped short and gazed at her in bewilderment. + +"Not going! What on earth do you mean?" + +"I can't go; that's all," stammered Nan, flushing hotly at the seeming +weakness of the confession. + +Ruth stared at her blankly. + +"Well, I like that!" she enunciated at length. + +"Why, I told you, didn't I?" asked Nan. + +"Told me what? That you weren't going? Well, I should say not. Miss +Blake said you couldn't but you said flat down you would, and, of +course, I believed you. Don't you remember the last words you said as +I went away that day were that I could count on you? And so, of +course, I counted." + +Nan stood and regarded the snow at her feet in silence. + +"It's right-down mean to back out at the last minute when the party's +all made up and the couples all arranged and you've given your word. +We've been awfully careful whom we've asked, because we only wanted a +certain kind--not alone a certain number. Of course, we could get lots +of girls to take your place and jump at the chance; but we prefer you, +and you'd given your promise." + +Nan ground the snow under her foot until it squeaked. + +"I thought you were sick, or something, when you didn't come around," +went on Ruth, sternly. "I never imagined for a minute it was because +you meant to flunk and leave us in the lurch like this. If I'd thought +that I wouldn't have gone to all the trouble I did to save you a place +next to John Gardiner when Mary Brewster was fighting tooth and nail to +get it." + +The pinched snow squeaked again under Nan's grinding heel, this time +louder than before. + +"It's all nonsense, Miss Blake's not wanting you to go," pursued Ruth. +"Everything is as proper as pie, and if the boys get to carrying on a +little too much Mrs. Cole will settle them in no time. She's real +determined when she makes up her mind. What under the sun does Miss +Blake think we are going to do? But that's no matter now. You gave me +your word, and you've no right to go back on it. Besides, it'll set us +all topsy-turvey with our accounts, for if you don't go of course you +won't turn in your share of the tax, and we couldn't ask any one at the +last minute just to come as a make-shift and expect her to pay for the +privilege. The end of it will be the rest of us will have to make it +up, and if you think that's fair I don't!" + +"I'll gladly pay my dues," returned Nan, more meekly than Ruth had ever +heard her speak. "You can ask any one you choose as my substitute, and +say anything you please to explain my not going, and I'll stand by you." + +This began to sound serious, and Ruth felt it was time to clinch her +argument. + +"If you go out Louie Hawes will, too. Her mother said she'd let Lu go +if Miss Blake would let you, but that if Miss Blake objected she +thought it would be best not to have Lu join. She said she made Lu's +going entirely conditional on yours. So, you see, if you back out +you'll not alone be breaking your promise, but you'll be breaking up +the party and making a mess of it all round. I told Mrs. Hawes you +were going, and Lu's heart is set on it. If she has to stay back now, +at the last minute like this, it will disappoint her dreadfully, and I +wouldn't blame her if she never spoke to you again." + +Nan felt that she had been driven into a corner, and that there was but +one way out of it. In spite of her strong desire to go with the girls, +she had determined to stick to her resolve to stay behind. She had +hardly known why she had tried to avoid them all these days. But now +she knew. It was because she was afraid they would shake her +resolution. Once she would have called herself cowardly for trying to +spare herself such temptation, but now she knew better; she saw she had +been simply wise. It would not have been brave, but merely reckless, +to have done otherwise. She had known ever since Miss Blake spoke that +she was free to do as she pleased. That she was held by no promise; +that she was compelled by no stronger claim than Miss Blake's +disapproval, which might be, after all, only a groundless personal +prejudice, she thought. She hardly realized why she felt bound to +obey. And now along came Ruth to prove that there were other claims +outside Miss Blake's. She remembered perfectly having said that Ruth +could count on her. Here was a very definite promise, although it had +been made in half-ignorance, and she understood clearly that Ruth meant +to make her keep it. Then, again, she was directly responsible for +Louie's disappointment, and this seemed to her, as Ruth had intended it +should seem, a compelling conclusion. If she had been older her +reasoning would not have stopped here, but, as it was, she perceived +only two sides to the question, and this that Ruth had just presented +seemed infinitely more convincing than the one Miss Blake had tried to +make clear to her. Ruth's logic she could understand; the governess' +seemed vague and incomprehensible. In one case she had been coerced +into making a promise from which she had later been absolved; in the +other she had given her word of her own free will, and she was being +stoutly held to it. There were other influences at work, but Nan did +not know it. She honestly believed she was waiving all considerations +but those with which her duty was concerned, and she thought she had +done so when she broke out with a sort of impatient groan: + +"Oh, dear! I never saw such a tangle!" + +"Well," returned Ruth grimly, "I don't know anything about that, but +whatever it may be, I've got the strong end of the line and I mean to +hold it. You've just got to go and that's all there is to it." + +Nan gave a rueful laugh. She more than half-liked to have Ruth leave +her no alternative. It somehow made her seem less responsible to +herself. If the decision were taken out of her hands she could not be +held accountable and--the enjoyment would be there all the same. + +"I wish you'd let me off, Ruth," she protested weakly, as a sort of +last sop to her conscience. + +Ruth saw that she had prevailed and gave her head a triumphant toss. +"Well, I won't, so there! And what's more I can't stand here wasting +time like this another minute. I have a hundred things to do before +eight o'clock, so good-bye! Be sure you're on time for we won't wait a +second, and if you don't arrive none of us will ever speak to you +again, so there!" + +Nan stood dumbly stubbing her toe into a little mound of snow quite a +minute after Ruth had left her. She had not even glanced up when, in +response to her friend's last declaration, she had said, "Very well; +I'll be on hand," and her voice had sounded so flat and lifeless that +Ruth thought it better to hasten off before the words could be +recalled. When Nan spoke in that half-hearted tone Ruth had no faith +in her strength of purpose. She walked home in a doubtful frame of +mind, wondering if, after all, the promise would be kept. + +But Nan had no such misgivings. She knew perfectly well that she was +"in for it" now, but, strange to say, she felt no exultation in the +prospect. + +"Oh, dear!" she snapped out peevishly, with a last vicious dig of her +heel into the snow, "every bit of enjoyment is taken out of it, I never +saw anything so provoking, in the whole of my life. If Miss Blake only +hadn't been so mean, I might have been spared all this fret and bother +and been just as jolly as any of them. But how can a person have a +good time when they know there's some one at home pulling a long face +and making one feel as if one were breaking all the laws. It's just +too bad, that's what it is." + +But Miss Blake neither "pulled a long face" nor by any other means +tried to impress Nan with a sense of her disapproval. She took her +decision quietly, and made no comment upon it one way or the other. +But when it neared dressing time, and the girl had gone to her room to +prepare, she tapped gently for admittance and came in, bearing in her +hand a coquettish sealskin hood which she generously offered to Nan, +saying: + +"It's bitterly cold, and I know you won't want to tie a comforter about +your ears. If you will wear this I shall be only too happy to lend it +to you. See, the cape is so full and deep your chest and back can't +get chilled, and it is not at all clumsy, as so many of them are. Try +it on. I think it will be becoming and I know it will keep you warm." + +Nan was at a loss for words. Miss Blake had none of the air of heaping +coals of fire on her head, but just for a second the girl suspected her +of it and hung back reluctantly. Then she looked into the frank, +honest eyes and all her suspicion vanished. + +"You're--you're awfully kind," she stammered, hastily. + +"Try it on," repeated Miss Blake, cordially. + +Nan took the soft, warm thing by its rich brown ribbons and, setting it +snugly on her head, tied the strings into a big broad bow beneath her +chin. + +"It's not so unbecoming!" commented the governess, observing Nan +critically with her head on one side. + +Nan looked in the mirror. What she saw there was the reflection of a +flushed, excited face with keen, young eyes that were just now +unusually large and bright. Sundry riotous tendrils of hair had +escaped from their restraining combs and were flying loose at the +temples, and, framing all, was a circle of dusky, flattering fur which +lent a look of softness and roundness to the firm, square chin and rose +above the brow in a quaint, coquettish peak which was vastly graceful +and becoming. + +"O Miss Blake!" cried Nan, her eyes flashing with pleasure, "isn't it +the darlingest thing? And as warm as toast! I'll be ever and ever so +careful of it. You're awfully good to lend it to me. But I really +think I oughtn't to take it. Something might happen; it might get +lost." + +"Don't give it another thought," Miss Blake said, kindly. "Just wear +it and keep warm and comfortable. You must take the gloves, too. They +will keep your fingers cozy." + +So Nan set out looking like a young Russian in her borrowed furs and +feeling what satisfaction she might in the consciousness that she was +appearing, if not behaving, at her best. + +She found most of the party already assembled at Mrs. Cole's and as the +door was opened to her, a loud chorus of shouting laughter met her ears +and she was laid hold of by a dozen hands and dragged forward under the +gaslight. + +"Pooh!" shrieked the chorus again. "This one's easy enough! Nan +Cutler! first guess," and she was released as hurriedly as she had been +set upon, while the entire company fell upon a later comer and tried to +discover the identity of the muffled, veiled individual before she had +either spoken or recovered from the unexpected onslaught. + +"Well, Nan," cried Harley Morris, jovially, "you're the only girl who +isn't muffled out of all recognition. We've had a dandy time trying to +identify some of them." + +"I never saw you look so well," declared Louie Hawes, generously, with +her eyes glued to the fascinating peak. + +"Nor I," broke in Mary Brewster. "Really, I didn't know you at first. +That hood is as disguising to you as our veils are to us." + +Nan flushed, but made no response. Harley Morris gave a low whistle +and strolled off to join John Gardiner, who was standing before the +fire talking with grave-faced Mr. Cole, and as he went she heard him +murmur under his breath: + +"Sweet remark! Oh, these dear girl friends!" + +It instantly changed her feeling from momentary resentment toward Mary +to pity for her. + +All at once Mrs. Cole's shrill treble was heard high above the hum and +murmur of the other voices, crying: + +"Now, girls and boys, time's almost up! It any of the party's missing, +he or she will be left behind! Prompt's the word." + +Then, stepping over to her husband, she tapped him lightly on the +shoulder and said: + +"There now, Tom, I'm glad we're going, for you're looking as solemn as +an owl. Cheer up and have a lovely time with your book and that jolly +fire, and don't forget to go to bed at nine o'clock like a good little +boy." + +Mary Brewster laughed, and most of the others joined in her merriment. +But Mr. Cole looked so troubled and stern that Nan, who was gazing at +him from the corners of her eyes, saw no reason to laugh at his wife's +sally, but felt a much greater inclination to cry for pity of him and +his anxious face. + +Suddenly she was roused from her musing by John Gardiner's voice close +at her ear. + +"Nan!" he said. + +"Oh, heyo, John!" + +"I want to tell you something," he went on, nervously, in a hesitating +whisper. "From the looks of her, Mrs. Cole means to carry things with +a high hand to-night. Hope we won't come to grief. Sometimes the +motto is 'everything goes,' and then it isn't so easy to hold back and +stand for the things you ought to. I depend on you, Nan, to keep a +level head, for some of us'll have to act as ballast or we'll all go +under." + +Nan's face glowed with gratification. "All right, John," she responded +staunchly, and then, Mrs. Cole giving the signal, in an instant the +roomful seemed to fling itself helter-skelter to the hall-door, +fastening boas and mufflers as it went, all eager and breathless to be +off. There was a deal of laughing and exclaiming, shrieking and +protesting as the girls were bundled, one after another, into the +sleigh. + +"Is this you, Lu?" + +"Yes. O dear! I have lost my veil. No, here it is, dragged under my +chin." + +"I thought I was to sit next to you, Nan!" + +"Oh, that's all right, Mary's there, and it's too late to change now. +No matter." + +John Gardiner leaped up. + +"I say there, Mike, hold your horses for a second. Would you mind +moving down a place, Mary? Thanks! Mrs. Cole said I was to sit next +to Nan, and as we are all under her orders to-night I'm bound to obey. +There! this is what I call festive! 'A thorn between two roses,' eh?" +and he settled himself comfortably between the two girls with a great, +hearty laugh and a final "Ready!" at which word the horses started into +a brisk trot. Their bells broke into a silver chime; the sleigh swept +smoothly over the glaze of snow, and the evening's fun began. + +Some one had brought a tin horn, and this was blown with such a vim +that conversation was impossible. But remarks and retorts were shouted +from one side to the other, and the tamest of them brought forth peals +of laughter. + +The heaven above them was densely black, and out of it flashed +innumerable stars like sparks white-hot and quivering with inward fire. +But the wind that swept across the sky was so cold that it made it seem +to contract and retreat and leave the shivering world an inconceivable +depth below. + +Swathed and bundled as they were, the girls very soon began to feel the +deadly chill in the icy air. + +"Nan's shivering like an ash-pan!" John cried out suddenly. "Has +anybody got an extra shawl or something they can lend her?" + +"Hush!" returned the girl, trying to control her trembling, "it's +nothing; I'm all right." + +"Pity she can't keep warm with John Gardiner beside her!" Mrs. Cole +suggested. + +In the shadow Nan's teeth came together with a snap of disgust. She +saw now what it was in Mrs. Cole that offended Miss Blake. She had +never noticed it before, but it had been there, and she knew it. John +made no retort, while the others laughed and applauded. + +"Here, Nan!" spoke up some one at the other end of the sleigh, "here's +a cigarette. Take it and warm yourself before its genial blaze," and +it was passed along from hand to hand, its ruddy point glinting out in +the shadow as it went along. When it came to Mary, instead of handing +it on at once, she held it a moment, then suddenly raised it to her +lips. + +"Hey, there! Turn off the draught!" cried its owner merrily at sight +of the newly-glowing tip. + +"Shut down the damper!" shouted some one else. + +"I dare you to smoke it!" laughed Mrs. Cole. + +Mary deliberately took a long puff. + +Nan leaned back behind John and laid her gloved hand impulsively on +Mary's shoulder. "O Mary!" she protested in a whisper. "Don't. +Please! It'll make you sick." + +But the girl was not to be thwarted. She shook off Nan's hand +impatiently. + +"Mind your own business!" she replied, and took another puff. + +On they swept through the icy air, across the snow-covered country, +amid the white night. The horn blew; the voices sang and shouted, and +finally the sleigh swung up before the hospitable road-house, where +every window was alight and their steaming supper awaited them. + +It was harder to get out of the sleigh than it had been to get in it, +for joints that at first had been limber and strong were now stiff and +cramped from cold and disuse, and the girls made a sorry show, limping +and halting from the sleigh to the house. When Nan first gained the +ground she could hardly stand, but a little vigorous exercise soon sent +the blood tingling through her veins again and unknotted her muscles, +and she was about to run gayly up the path when she felt a hand upon +her shoulder, and looking round saw Mary Brewster beside her, her face +ghastly and drawn in the pallid moonlight and her chin quivering weakly +in a manner that Nan saw at once was not the effect of the cold. + +"Lean on my shoulder and I'll get you up to the house in a jiff," she +said, in a low whisper. + +Mary clung to her, wavering and faint, without a word, and in the +confusion no one noticed her plight. Nan had fairly to drag her up the +steps, and then again up the staircase to the room the woman of the +place had showed them when Nan had drawn her aside and told her of +their dilemma. + +"It's the cold!" gasped Mary, crying abjectly between her spasms of +misery. + +"No such thing!" returned Nan stoutly. "It's that villainous +cigarette. But never mind now. There! Don't think of anything but +getting better. I'll stroke your head for you. It must be aching +terribly." + +So she soothed and comforted the girl as best she could, and the kind +mistress of the house came up every now and then with offers of help +and reports of how the supper was progressing below, and after a while +Mary grew quieter and could do something beside moan and cry and wring +her hands over her own wretchedness. + +"Nan," she whispered presently in a conscious-smitten voice, "I want +you to leave me and go down stairs. You've given up the best part of +the fun for me, but you shan't lose it all. Please go down!" + +Nan shook her head. "No, you don't, ma'am!" she declared cheerfully, +and Mary was too exhausted to argue the question. She felt deliciously +drowsy and the freedom from pain made her tearfully happy. Vague, +dreamy thoughts were wandering through her brain, and one of them was +that Nan had been very kind to her. She had not deserved it. She had +been mean to Nan. She admitted it. She ought to beg her forgiveness. +It was so good to be out of pain that she was willing to do anything to +prove her gratitude. She opened her eyes and saw Nan bending over her +with a face full of sympathy. She put up her hands and drew the face +down to hers, her lip trembling like a little child's. + +"Kiss me, Nan!" + +Nan kissed her. + +"I want you to forgive me. I've been hateful to you and you've been +generous and kind and--I love you for it. I'd like to be your +friend--if you'd let me, after the way I've treated you." + +Nan kissed her again. "Never mind that now. We'll begin all over, and +I guess I can behave a little better myself. Now go to sleep and get a +good nap before it's time to go home." + + + + +CHAPTER XVII + +CONSEQUENCES + +As soon as she saw that Mary had fallen soundly asleep Nan rose and +slipped noiselessly down stairs. She had no trouble in finding the +supper-room, for she had only to follow the echoing sounds to be led +directly to the door. She stood a moment on the threshold before she +laid her hand upon the knob. It seemed to her she had never heard such +a hub-bub, but as she listened she seemed to hear, over and above it +all, Miss Blake's soft voice saying quietly: + +"If you and the other girls have no more careful a chaperone than Mrs. +Cole, I am afraid your party will prove a rather uproarious one." + +"Rather uproarious!" Nan smiled, as she repeated the words to herself. +Then she turned the knob and pushed open the door. + +The clamor surged louder than ever, and for a second seemed almost to +stun her. Dishes were clattering, and every one seemed doing his or +her best to add to the tumult and confusion. No one noticed Nan +standing dumbly in the doorway, and it was only when some one's eye +fell upon her as she took a step or two forward that there was a cry of +"Hullo! Here's Nan!" and she was pulled to the table, forced into a +chair, and plied with all sorts of dishes and questions, until she put +her hands to her ears and begged for mercy. + +"Here's some salad! Take this!" + +"The jelly's most gone and what's left of it is melted. But you're +welcome to it such as it is and what there is of it." + +"Where have you been all this time?" + +"We've been calling you every sort of a name for being so rude as to +stay away from the supper." + +"Oh, Nan had her good reason," shouted Mrs. Cole, pushing back her +chair and springing to her feet. + +"Come, girls and boys!" she cried shrilly, "it's getting late. If we +want to dance we'd better be about it." + +Of course that led to a general uprising, and in a moment the whole +tableful was swarming toward the parlor. + +"How do you like it, Nan?" asked John Gardiner, quizzically, coming and +leaning toward her to whisper the question in her ear, as they stood at +one side waiting for the music to begin. + +"Like it!" repeated Nan, "I think Mrs. Cole's simply--well, I'm sorry +she was ever asked to come. It would all have been so different if we +had had Mrs. Andrews or Mrs. Hawes or--just imagine Miss Blake acting +as she has to-night!" + +"I can't imagine it!" returned John, emphatically, "and worse yet, Mike +is in no condition to drive us home. He's been drinking. I went out +to see if the horses were all right and being fed, you know, and there +I heard about it. Mike simply mustn't drive." + +Nan pressed her hands together and gave a stifled groan. + +"That's what I wanted to tell you," continued John, hurriedly. "It +isn't safe to let him try and I'm going to take his place myself. I +don't know how long I can stand it, for it's colder than ever and I +haven't any driving gloves, but I'll do the best I can and perhaps some +of the other fellows will lend a hand." + +Nan thought a minute. "I tell you what," she declared at last, "I'm +going to do part of the driving myself. I'll sit up front and when you +give out I'll lend a hand and we'll get through somehow. I've Miss +Blake's gloves and they are as warm as toast." + +The anxious look faded a little from John's face, and in spite of +himself he showed he was relieved. "I may not have to give up at all," +he said at length; "but if I do there's not a fellow in the whole lot +I'd rather trust the reins to than you. Come! They're making a move. +Get your things on as quick as you can and be where I can see you so we +can take our places without making too much talk." + +In a twinkling Nan had flown upstairs, roused Mary and helped her to +get ready and was hooded and cloaked and standing in the hall-way. The +others came up one by one and presently the big door was opened and +they trooped through it out into the waiting sleigh. John gave Nan a +hand and she sprang quickly to the place beside him on the driver's +seat. They started. + +It proved a very different matter sitting on that unsheltered box +facing the wind to cuddling, as they had done before, among the warm +straw with their faces shielded from the current by the high protecting +sides of the sleigh, and after a very little while Nan had to set her +teeth to keep from crying out for the pain in her stinging cheeks. + +Back of them the rest of the party shouted and tootled and yodeled as +cheerfully as ever. Every one wanted to know what had become of Mike, +and as nobody could tell but John and Nan, and they wouldn't, the +questions went unanswered, and by and by the subject was dropped and +only occasional spiteful jokes made by Mrs. Cole at the expense of +John's driving and Nan's sitting beside him while he did it. + +Happily the horses knew the way home and were eager to get there, so +they did not have to be urged or guided. But it was necessary to hold +a tight rein, and John's hands soon began to feel tortured and twisted +with the strain upon them biting through their numbness like screws of +pain. He shook his head determinedly when Nan offered to relieve him, +and at last she had to wrench the reins from him in order to take her +share of duty and give him a chance to recover a little. + +So, taking turns faithfully like good comrades, and exchanging never a +word, they got the sleigh and its load safely into town at last, and +not one of the gay, irresponsible party knew how difficult an +achievement it had been. + +Miss Blake herself opened the door to Nan and let her in. One glance +at her, as she stood huddled and quivering with cold in the vestibule, +was enough. Not a question was asked. She was led gently into the +warm dining-room, her hood and cloak taken from her and her frozen +hands briskly chafed, while on Miss Blake's tea-stand stood her little +brass kettle, bubbling and purring merrily above its alcohol flame, and +hinting broadly at soothing cups of something "grateful and comforting." + +Nan let herself be waited upon in a sort of half dream. The agony in +her hands had been so great that it had taken all her strength to bear +it, and now it was going she felt weak and babyish. + +"O dear!" she broke down at last, with a gulp of relief. "It's been an +awful evening! Mrs. Cole was detestable. Do you know what she did?" +and then came out the whole story pell-mell: all told in Nan's blunt, +uncompromising way, and giving Miss Blake a better idea than anything +else could have done of just how right she had been in opposing the +girl's going under such chaperon age. + +She was too wise to say "I told you so," and she was too sincere to try +to gloss over the probable result of the episode. She looked grave and +thoughtful when Nan had finished her account, and her voice was very +serious as she said: + +"What the consequences to the others may be I don't know; I dread to +think. But I feel that at least you and John and Mary have seen things +as they are, and will profit by your experience. You remember the talk +we had at Mrs. Newton's before the holidays? She said 'Experience is +an expensive school, and only fools can afford to go to it,' or +something like that; you are no fool, Nan. I think you will see more +and more plainly, as time goes on, that there are some things that we +cannot afford to do. We cannot afford to buy a momentary pleasure at +the price of a lifetime of regret, and we cannot afford to spend even +one day of our life in unscrupulous company. It costs too much. We +think we have a very keen business sense, we men and women, but we +allow ourselves to be cheated every day we live in a way that would +disgust us if we were dealing in dollars and cents. Self-respect is +more valuable than momentary enjoyment, yet those boys and girls sold +one for the other to-night. + +"As for you, I think you made a good exchange, Nan, when you gave up +your supper for Mary's sake. Love is a reliable bank, dear, and you +can't make too many deposits in it. It always pays compound interest, +and the best of it is, it never fails." + +Nan's lips opened as if she were about to speak, but she closed them +again, and sat looking into the fire very seriously and silently for +some time. Then the lips parted again, and this time the words came, +though even now with an effort: + +"I guess you'll think it's no credit to me that I'm sorry I went. But +I am sorry, and I would be if it had been the best time in the world. +I didn't want to go, really, after you said you'd--rather I wouldn't. +I didn't, honestly. It won't do either of us any good for me to say +now that I wish I had done as you wanted me to. But I do wish it. +I've hated myself all along for acting as I did. Now don't let's say +anything more about it--but--but--I wanted you to know how I feel." + +There was an ominous catch in her voice that warned Miss Blake not to +pursue the subject. Nan could humble herself to apologize, but to +follow the abasement up by shedding tears on it was too much for her +dignity, and she fought against it stolidly. + +But the governess knew her well enough by this time to feel assured +that what she said was true, and she accepted the clumsy, halting +"amende" as gratefully as if it had been the most graceful of +acknowledgments. + +"Dear me," she broke in, in quite a matter-of-fact way. "Do you know +that the small hours are getting to be large hours, and we are sitting +here as unconcernedly as if it were just after dinner. Come, let us +both get upstairs and to bed as fast as our feet can carry us," and she +promptly set the example by extinguishing the lamp and helping Nan to +shoulder her armful of wraps. + +"Oh, by the way," she said, as they readied the upper hall, and the +girl was about to make return of the hood, "you may keep it if you +will. Accept it and the gloves, with my love, as a sort of recompense +for what other things you have missed this evening." + +Nan was too overcome by the richness of the gift to make any response +at all for a moment. Then she blurted out awkwardly, though in a very +grateful voice: + +"You're so good to me it makes me--ashamed. You're always giving me +things. It isn't right. You give away everything you have." + +Miss Blake lifted her chin and laughed gayly over the cleft in it. + +"No, I don't," she returned, tip-toeing to drop the gloves, like a +blessing, on the girl's head. "I have one or two things which I keep +all for myself. But if I like to give presents, do you know what it's +a sign of? It's a sign I'm poor. Poor people are always possessed by +a passion for giving presents. It's true! I've always noticed it! +Good-night!" + +And that was the last Nan heard about the affair from Miss Blake. +Unfortunately--or fortunately--it was not the last she heard of it from +others, by any means. It was a long, long time before it was allowed +to drop. + +In the first place, Michael was discharged from the stables, and this +led to a vast amount of discussion, for the poor fellow, who was +temperate by nature, was thrown out of employment in midwinter, and his +predicament seemed a pitiable one to those who really understood the +facts in the case. + +Miss Blake, when she heard of the affair, had bidden John Gardiner +bring the man to her. She heard his story, and then sent him off with +a few kindly, encouraging words, and the poor fellow felt comforted in +spite of the facts that she had given him neither money nor any +definite promise of help. When he had gone she sat for some time +thinking busily, her chin in her palms and her elbows propped on the +desk in front of her. She was still for so long that John and Nan +stole off after a while and tried experiments with the kodak on some +back-yard views, and when they came back to Miss Blake's room to ask +her opinion on some point of focus they found the place deserted and +the governess gone. + +The next day Mike was discovered sitting smilingly enthroned in his +accustomed place on the lofty box of the livery "broom-carriage," and +he vouchsafed the information to congratulating friends that: "Ut's +another chanct Oi hav, though how Oi come boy ut ye'll niver know anny +moar than Oi do mesilf, for Misther Allen was that set agin me he +wuddn't hear a wurrud Oi'd sa'. But Oi have another chanct and ut's +mesilf 'll see till ut, ut lasts me me loife-toime." + +"O dear!" complained Ruth to Nan, "I never want to hear the name of +sleigh-ride again so long as I live. Everywhere I go, they say so +significantly: 'We hear you had a very gay time the other night! Well, +well! such things wouldn't have been tolerated when I was young!' and +then they make some cutting remark about Mrs. Cole, and I'm afraid it's +not going to be very pleasant for her after this, for none of our +fathers and mothers want to have anything more to do with her. They +say her example has been so bad. And one can't have a bit of fun +nowadays, for we're all being kept on short rations to pay up for the +other night." + +But as the weeks passed the gossip died away and then every one +breathed freer again. + +Latterly Nan was filling her part of the household contract with +considerably less ill-will than she had shown at the beginning, but +even now there were occasional lamentations when the day was especially +enticing, and her spirits rose and soared above the pettiness of +bed-making and the degradation of dusting. It took her about twice as +long to get through with her share of the work as it took Miss Blake, +and she could never console herself with the thought that it was +because the governess shirked. Occasionally she let her own tasks go +"with a lick and a promise," as Delia described it, bat when she saw +the thoroughness with which Miss Blake did even the least important +thing she had the grace to be ashamed and to determine on a better +course in the future. But before she really settled down to a stricter +habit of conscientiousness something happened that gave her more of an +impulse than a course of lectures would have done. + +The winter had been a long and unusually severe one, but by March it +seemed reasonable to suppose that its backbone was broken. Nan had +preferred the care of the conservatory to the duller and less +interesting work of dish-washing, and Miss Blake, in letting her take +her choice, had only exacted the promise that her charge was not to be +neglected. Nan had, as we know, given her hand upon it, and so the +matter stood. The governess never "nagged" her about her duties; she +took it for granted that the girl would honorably keep her word. + +And indeed for some time she was tolerably thorough, watering the +plants and loosening the soil about their roots; sponging the leaves of +the rubber trees and palms and picking off all the shriveled leaves and +faded petals from the flowering shrubs and keeping the temperature at +as nearly the right degree as was possible with such varying weather +and their simple device for heating the place. + +But she found it was much more of a tax than she had first supposed. +At the start plants had seemed so much more inviting than dishes that +she had appropriated the care of them at once, and now that she +discovered what her selection really involved she felt almost +aggrieved, and was inclined to be cross when she saw Miss Blake's tasks +finished for the day while her own was scarcely more than begun. + +"Provoking things!" she would declare as she dashed a double spray of +water on the rubber trees that did not need it, and gave but a mere +sprinkle to the blossoming azalias that did: "if I'd known what a +nuisance you were I can tell you I never would have taken you! Here! +will you come off, or won't you?" and she would give some wilted +blossom a vicious jerk that would set the entire plant shaking in its +pot as though it were trembling with distress at the rough treatment it +was receiving. If Miss Blake heard her she gave no sign. Sometimes +when they passed a florist's window she would stop and look wistfully +in at the bewildering display, and Nan would know that she was longing +to go in and buy some especially fascinating orchid or unusually rare +crysanthemum. But she would not yield to her impulse, for on one +occasion the girl had said with a shrug of impatience: + +"For goodness' sake don't get any more. It's all I can do to attend to +the bothersome things now. I wish they were all in Hong Kong--every +one of them." + +[Illustration: "Provoking things!"] + +So since then there had been no further additions to the conservatory, +and Miss Blake had to check her horticultural ardor or confine it to +her window-sill upstairs. + +But the plants throve in spite of their ungracious nursing, and when +she was not irritated by them Nan was very proud of the fine showing +they made. + +"I think that double, white azalia is one of most beautiful things I +ever saw: so pure and delicate!" said Mary Brewster to Miss Blake, +hanging over it in honest admiration one leaden-skied day when she come +to carry Nan off to her house to dinner and was waiting while the girl +went upstairs to get ready. + +"Yes," replied the governess, "I love it! But then, I love all the +dear things--even those poor woolly-leaved little primroses that have +almost less charm for me than any flowers I know. I'm so glad they are +all doing so well. I can't bear to bring a plant into the house and +then have it die. It seems almost like murder. But now I must run +away. I have an appointment with my dentist at three. It is very good +of you to ask Nan to dinner to-night, and I'm doubly glad it happens as +it does, for she would have to dine alone if she stayed at home, for I +have to go out of town on business and cannot get back tonight. Delia +will call for Nan at nine o'clock. Good-bye, and have a pleasant +evening!" and she caught up her satchel and was off in a twinkling. + +But after she had let herself out of the front door she came back and +called Nan to the head of the stairs. + +"It's bitterly cold," she said. "I had no idea it was so severe! Be +sure you wrap up warmly, Nan, and don't forget your gloves and leggings +when you come home. Oh, and the plants! You'll not fail to look after +them when you get in--the last thing before you go to bed? I think it +will freeze to-night, and they will need extra heat. Now, good-bye +again, and God bless you!" + +Nan waved her a vigorous adieu with the towel she held in her hand, and +this time the governess was off in earnest. + +The two girls followed her out not long after, and went laughing and +chatting down the street. + +"I've asked Grace and Lu and Ruth to come in after dinner, and we're +going to have a candy-pull. I didn't ask John, but I told him what was +up, and he said he and Harley and Everett had been wanting to call for +some time, and as I'd be sure to be in, he thought they might as well +do it to-night. I told him he'd have to 'call' loud, for we'd be in +the kitchen, and probably wouldn't hear him, and he said he'd see to it +that we did; so I suppose we'll have them too." + +Among them all it proved a gay evening, and seemed unusually so, for of +late jollifications had been rare. As Ruth said, "they were all kept +on short rations to pay up for the other night." + +It appeared to Nan when Delia arrived that she had made a mistake in +the hour, and had appeared at eight instead of nine; but as it happened +Delia purposely delayed in order that her girl might have an extra +sixty minutes, and when she pointed to the clock, whose short hand +pointed to ten, Nan could only shake her head, and say: "Well, I +suppose so--but it doesn't seem as if it could be." + +It was so cold that Delia had brought an additional wrap for her, and +the girl was glad to avail herself of it when she felt the nip of the +freezing air. + +"Why, it's much worse than it was this afternoon," she said. "If this +is spring, I'd just as lief have winter. I tell you what it is, Delia, +it won't take me long to tumble into bed. I'm frozen stiff already. I +hope you locked up before you came out, so all we'll have to do will be +to go upstairs. I hate to putter about in the cold." + +It seemed strange to go to bed without Miss Blake's cheery +"Good-night!" ringing in her ears. It was the first time the governess +had spent a night away from home since she first came to the house, +almost six months ago, and Nan devoutly hoped there wouldn't be a +repetition of the performance in another half-year. Her empty room +gave one "les homeseeks." + +In order to forget it and to escape the cold, Nan cut short her +preparations for the night and got into bed with as little delay as +possible. She cuddled comfortably between her smooth sheets and soft +blankets and in a moment was soundly asleep. + +When she waked the next morning it was with a vague feeling of +responsibility, as though she had gone to sleep with a weight of some +calamity on her heart. As she dressed she tried to recall it but there +was nothing in yesterday's experience to depress her and she ran down +to breakfast determined to shake off the haunting impression. But all +through the meal it clung to her and she could not get rid of it. To +be especially virtuous in Miss Blake's absence and show her that she +was "dependable," she took the dish-washing upon herself and got +through with it speedily. Then up to her room to set that in order, +and then down to the conservatory to attend to the plants. + +It was just as this juncture that Delia heard a wild cry of distress +ring through the house. She ran upstairs in a fright and found Nan +standing at the threshold of the conservatory door gazing in and +wringing her hands. The sight that met her eyes was a pitiful one. +There was not one plant among them all that had outlived the night. +The leaves of all were frozen black. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII + +"CHESTER NEWCOMB" + +"Oh, do you think I could?" demanded Nan, eagerly. + +Miss Blake considered a moment. "I don't see any reason why it might +not be arranged." + +"It's right by the sea and Ruth says they never fuss about clothes down +there. Just anything will do." + +The governess smiled. "Nevertheless I think you will need a couple of +changes. I have sometimes been asked to visit country houses where +'anything would do,' and I've generally found that it all depends on +what one understands by 'anything.'" + +"I can wear a shirt-waist in the morning and in the afternoon I can +wear a--a--another one," announced Nan. + +Miss Blake laughed. "You poor child," she said, "I do believe you +haven't much beside for the summer." + +"You see," broke in Nan, shamefacedly, "Delia didn't know anything +about styles and I didn't--care, and so we sort of let clothes go. It +isn't because father wouldn't want me to have nice things." + +Miss Blake took her up quickly. "I know it is not. And now we must +set to work at once to get you properly provided, for you are old +enough now to 'care,' not necessarily about styles, but certainly about +making a creditable appearance, and I want you to have a suitable +wardrobe so that you may always keep yourself tidy." + +It seemed to Nan that the wardrobe Miss Blake proceeded to provide for +her was something more than merely "tidy." The frocks were simple, it +is true, but very dainty and tasteful, and in her new interest in them +and the way they were made she quite forgot to complain at the extra +inch or two which the governess caused to be added to the length of the +skirts. + +There had been some stormy scenes when the winter dresses were being +made, Nan insisting that she would not wear "such horrid dangling +things that were forever getting in her way." She wanted her skirts +made short, and if she couldn't have her skirts made short, etc. + +The skirts had not been made short, and these were even longer. Clad +in them Nan looked very tall and womanly, and Delia realized for the +first time that her "baby" had ceased to be a little girl. + +So at last the preparations were completed and the girl started off to +spend a fortnight with Ruth at the Andrews' beautiful summer home by +the sea. Then came gay times. Early morning dips in the surf; +clam-bakes on the beach; long, lazy hours spent on the veranda, when +the day was too warm for exercise, and when it was cooler, fine spins +along the hard, white sand, for miles beside the shimmering sea. + +Nan grew as brown as an Indian, for she scorned shade-hats, and +oftenest had nothing on her head at all but her own thick thatch of +riotous brown hair. + +Ruth's brother taught Nan to swim, and she entered into it with so much +zest that to his surprise he found his only difficulty lay in trying to +restrain her. Nothing seemed to daunt her, and whatever any one else +did she immediately wanted to try. + +"The fact of the matter is," young Mr. Andrews declared one day, "you +ought to have been a boy. You'd make a capital fellow." + +"I know it," admitted Nan, frankly. "I love boys' sports and pranks, +and to think that all my life I've just got to 'sit on a cushion and +sew up a seam.' It's perfectly awful." + +"Fancy!" exclaimed Miss Webster, a fellow-guest, and a young lady whom, +by the way, Nan regarded with a good deal of disdain, because she +seemed what John Gardiner called "girly-girly," and was flirtatious. +"Fancy! Why, I wouldn't be a man for anything in the world! Just +think what hideous clothes they wear." + +"Thank you, Miss Webster," retorted Mr. Andrews with mock solemnity. + +"Oh, I didn't mean you," she returned with an emphasis and a soft +glance of the eyes. "You really dress extremely well. I adore your +neck-ties and your boots are dreams." + +Helen Andrews tried to hide a scowl of irritation. Alice Webster was +her friend, and she disliked having her display herself in her worst +light. She knew her to be a warm-hearted, honorable girl whose gravest +fault, which, after all, might be only a foible, was her tendency to +turn coquettish when she was in the society of gentlemen. + +Ruth rose and beckoned Nan to follow her. + +"Isn't she a lunatic?" she demanded, as soon as they were out of +ear-shot. + +"Perfect idiot!" responded Nan. "I should think your brother would +just duck her in the water some fine day when she's making those +sheep's eyes at him. I would if I were in his place." + +"Oh, he doesn't care. He thinks she's lots of fun. Besides, he's +going away to-morrow, and won't see her again unless Helen makes her +stay longer." + +"What'll she do for some one to make eyes at?" + +"Don't know. Helen generally has a lot of company, but just now there +seems to be a famine in the land!" + +Suddenly Nan stood stock still. + +"What's the matter?" demanded Ruth. + +Nan waited a moment, and then bent over and whispered something in her +ear. + +"Magnificent! We'll do it!" cried Ruth, clapping her hands, and +breaking into a peal of laughter. + +"Not to-night--while your brother is here!" protested Nan. + +"Of course not. To-morrow though, sure. Carl will be gone and the +coast clear, and meanwhile we'll drill." + +For the remainder of the day the girls were absorbed in something which +took them to their room and kept them there, and they only appeared +when dinner was announced, and the family already seated at the table. + +"Well, Miss Nan," Carl Andrews exclaimed, "I wish you were a boy, and +I'd take you up into the mountains with me and teach you how to handle +a gun." + +"What fun!" cried Nan. + +"Yes, it would be great sport, and I warrant you'd like camp-life, too. +It's just the sort of thing that you'd enjoy. Only I'm afraid it would +agree with you so well that you would grow an inch a week, and +considering you are a girl you'd better not get any taller." + +"O dear! Don't say that," groaned Nan, "for I probably shall grow lots +more as it is. You see I'm not quite sixteen yet. Do people ever get +their growth before they are sixteen, Mrs. Andrews?" + +"Oh, sometimes," replied the lady kindly. "I scarcely think you will +grow any more, my dear. But I wouldn't worry about it in any case if I +were you." + +"But I don't want to tower over everybody," wailed the girl. "Just +think, I'm head and shoulders above Miss Blake now!" + +"But Miss Blake is a 'pocket Venus!' Just as high as one's heart," +said Carl Andrews. "I took her home the other night and she barely +reached to my shoulder." + +"Then you and Nan must be about the same height!" said Helen. + +Nan made a grimace. + +"Good rye grows high!" quoted Miss Webster, good-naturedly. And then +the elder Mr. Andrews, who was a little deaf, began to talk about the +crops, probably thinking they had been discussing grain, since he heard +the word "rye." + +Early the next morning Carl Andrews started off, and the family waved +him a vigorous good-bye from the veranda steps, and after he had gone +the different members of the household went about their own particular +business, and did not meet again until luncheon-time. + +It proved an unusually warm day, and when evening came the young people +were glad to sit quietly on the veranda in the dark and enjoy the +heartening breeze that swept up from the sea. Mr. and Mrs. Andrews had +gone, as was their custom, out driving immediately after dinner, and so +the four girls were left to themselves. They were just laughing over +Ruth's description of one of Nan's exploits when the maid appeared +bearing a letter on a salver. + +"For Miss Cutler," she said, and handed it to Nan. + +The girl excused herself and hastened indoors to read it. A moment +later she called to Ruth. + +"It may be news from home," surmised Helen. "I hope it's nothing +serious. Her father is away; has been for two years or more. I +believe they expect him home this fall," and then she and Alice fell to +talking of other things and Helen was just wishing Carl could see her +friend in this mood, and know how womanly and sensible she could be +when suddenly they both stopped talking at the sight of a man's figure +coming up the long pathway from the outer road. + +"Who can it be?" whispered Helen. + +"A tramp?" suggested Miss Webster. + +"No. A tramp wouldn't come straight up to the house. It must be a +caller; possibly a friend of Carl's," murmured Helen. + +The stranger came directly toward the veranda, but at the steps he +paused a moment as though embarrassed at sight of the two girls +unexpectedly rising to meet him from out of the shadow. + +"Is Mr. Andrews in?" he asked, in a low, shy voice, and Helen said she +was sorry, but neither her father nor brother were at home. To which +did he refer? + +"To Mr. Carl Andrews," and then it was explained that he and Mr. Carl +Andrews were great chums. They-- + +"Won't you take a seat," asked Helen, hospitably, and he accepted at +once while she introduced Miss Webster and herself and he gave his name +as Chester Newcomb. + +"Oh, yes; I've often heard Carl speak of you," declared Helen, and then +she had to excuse herself to answer Ruth who was calling to her +vociferously from upstairs. + +"I'm afraid Nan has had bad news," she said, anxiously. "Excuse me, +please. I'll go and see what she wants and be back directly." + +Mr. Newcomb and Miss Webster fell at once into an easy chat. That is, +Miss Webster did. She rattled on in her least attractive manner, and +became so absorbed that she only noticed how long Helen had been absent +when Mr. Newcomb rose to go and she had not yet returned. + +"Pray don't call her," he entreated. "She probably is very much +engaged. I--I am spending a couple of weeks here and shall be charmed +to come again if I may." + +Miss Webster could only in turn assure him that she--that Helen and she +would also be charmed, and then he bowed himself off, striding down the +path with a free, somewhat boyish swing, and disappearing at length in +the shadow of the shrubbery. + +He came frequently after that and the girls began to chaff Miss Webster +about her "conquest" for he never seemed to care to come when the rest +were about, but chose such times for his calls when he and Alice could +stroll in the garden after dusk or sit and watch the sea and the stars +from the shadow of the broad veranda. + +It was very romantic and Miss Webster wore a dreamy, rapt expression +nowadays that sent Nan and Ruth off into fits of laughter when they +were out of the range of her eyes and ears. + +"What a pity it is he can't be here to see?" gasped Ruth. + +"Oh, he sees enough, never you fear," Nan assured her. "When one casts +sheep's eyes like that they hit even in the dark! Poor thing! She is +such a goose. Last night when he told her he was going to-morrow she +grew quite tragic and--" + +"O Nan! How could you listen?" cried Ruth in a shocked voice but +immediately after going into another spasm of laughter. + +"She quotes Shakespeare at him," gasped Nan, convulsed with mirth, and +not a bit abashed. "You ought to hear. It's rich!" + +"Well, we must see that the coast is clear to-night for I s'pose she +will be particularly touching, and Helen is getting awfully hard to +manage. It wouldn't do to interrupt them at the last minute just when +he was getting pathetic maybe. I wonder what he'll do?" + +"He'll be real dignified," declared Nan, solemnly. "You wait. He'll +be eloquent even if he is 'only a boy' as she says." + +So the two girls disappeared utterly after dinner, and when Mr. Newcomb +arrived he found Miss Webster quite alone, for Helen also was nowhere +to be seen. + +"She hasn't been very well lately," Miss Webster explained. "She looks +terribly pale and anxious and I'm afraid she has something on her mind. +Her headaches worry me!" and then she fell back into her poor, little +artificial manner again and sighed and looked sentimental and was +altogether "idiotic" as Nan would have said, and their two low-pitched +voices could be heard murmuring away in the stillness until poor Helen, +who was really half sick with a nervous headache upstairs, could have +cried with irritation and pain. + +She sat up on the bed when Ruth came into the room, and attacked her at +once. + +"I can't stand it another minute. It's driving me wild!" + +"Hush! It's only to-night. This is the last time. Don't make a +scene!" pleaded Ruth. + +"I'll never get over it," wailed Helen. "It simply is the most +detestable thing I ever knew. In our own house too! If this weren't +the last time I--" + +What she would do was never discovered for just at that moment a shrill +scream ran through the night, followed by the exclamation in a familiar +voice: + +"Great Scott! My wig!" + +And Ruth and Helen rushed below to find Miss Webster in a state of +collapse on one of the veranda settees and Nan standing over her, clad +in complete male attire, and fanning her frantically with a curly, +blonde wig which she wrenched by force from the trellis where it had +inadvertently caught. + +"I was just leaning back and being beautiful, and it got hooked on a +wire or something, and when I went to get up it stayed there and gave +me away!" she promptly explained. + +Then there was a scene. + +Miss Webster wept! Nan lamented! Ruth laughed, and Helen scolded, and +no one heard a word any one else was saying. + +But after a time every one grew calmer. + +"O Helen! I've made such a fool of myself," cried Alice abjectly. +"How can you ever respect me again?" + +"Respect you? Think of me!" sobbed Helen. "Can you ever forgive me +for knowing it all this time and letting it go on? Nan, you wretched +girl, come here this minute and beg Miss Webster's pardon. Ruth +Andrews, this is your work, Miss! See what you have done, and in your +own house, too!" + +But at this time Alice surprised them all. She put a gentle hand on +Helen's arm and said quite simply, and with a touching dignity: + +"Please don't ask anybody to beg my pardon. I deserved the lesson! +The girls needn't say a word. I--I--I am a goose, but I'll really try +to be better, and the kindest thing they can do is never to refer to it +again." + +The rare tears sprang to Nan's eyes, and she grasped Miss Webster's +hand in a grip that hurt. + +"You're downright fine!" she said, "and I'll never forget you as long +as I live." + +And then she had to beat a hasty retreat to escape Mr. Andrews and his +wife, who were just driving up to the door. + +But the secret leaked out, and she and Ruth were reprimanded sharply by +Mrs. Andrews who, for once in her life, turned severe and called them +sternly to account, and it was Alice Webster herself who interceded for +them, and begged that everything be forgiven and forgotten. + +They were her devoted slaves after that, and Nan, whose fortnight had +been extended, at the Andrews' request, to a month, took especial +delight in fetching and carrying for her to the close of her stay, and +in every possible manner making her feel how sincerely she regarded and +respected her. + +As for Miss Webster, she seemed like another girl. In fact, Carl +Andrews declared that he had never known what a "good sort" she was and +said he was mighty glad they had prevailed upon her to stay. + +He never knew why the mere mention of his friend, Chester Newcomb's +name should cause such a convulsion in the household, and when that +gentleman finally arrived, and the family met him for the first time, +it certainly seemed strange that they should all redden and stammer as +if they had been "awkward nursery children appearing at dinner." + +Nan especially could not be induced to have anything to say when he was +near, and when Carl discovered this he took a mischievous delight in +forcing her into his company and watching her try to "squirm" out of it +again. Miss Webster took pity on her and in the simplest, most natural +way came to her rescue whenever she was being victimized, and by and by +it became apparent even to Carl himself that "Ches and Miss Webster hit +it off first-rate." + +But at last Nan's visit really drew to a close, and, in spite of her +reluctance at leaving these good friends, she felt satisfied to go +home--she did not stop to ask herself why. + +Town seemed very stuffy and tame after the freedom of the country and +the sea, but when Miss Blake asked her if she would like to go away +again she replied: "Not alone," and then blushed shamefacedly and tried +to change the subject. + +While she was gone the governess had committed an extravagance. She +had bought a new bicycle. + +"What under the sun did you do that for?" demanded Nan. "Your other +was a beauty and as good as new." + +"But it wasn't new," suggested Miss Blake, lamely. + +"Pooh!" sniffed Nan. + +"I wanted this year's model." + +"Oh, very well! If you can be as particular as all that! How much did +they allow you on the other machine? I hope you made a good bargain," +said Nan. + +"I didn't let them have the other machine," hesitated Miss Blake. "It +didn't seem worth while. Besides I may want to use it myself +sometimes. Won't you come down and see the new one?" + +Of course Nan did not delay, and she went into raptures over the +beautiful wheel, praising it generously as she examined every point +with the eye of a connoisseur. + +"But it seems to me a pretty high frame!" she speculated, standing off +and taking it in from a distance. + +"I wanted a high frame," responded Miss Blake. + +"Seems to me pretty well up in the air for you, even with the saddle +down," insisted Nan, doubtfully. + +"You try it," suggested the governess. "If it suits you it will +certainly be too high for me." + +"It does suit me," announced Nan, balancing herself by a hand against +the wall. "You'd better send it back and get a lower frame." + +But Miss Blake shook her head. + +"No, I like this and I'm going to keep it. But of course if it is too +high I can't use it, and so--so--I'm afraid you'll have to, Nan. You +won't mind, will you? I mean getting your birthday present this way +ahead of time? I thought if we waited you'd lose the whole summer." + +Nan flung herself from the wheel in a rapture of surprise. It seemed +too good to be true. She could not believe it. Miss Blake had her +thanks more in the girl's radiant delight than in the mere words she +spoke, though these were genuine enough and full enough of gratitude. + +All through the long season after that, whenever the heat was not too +intense, Nan and her wheel could have been seen flashing through the +Park or taking a well-earned rest in the cool shadow of the Dairy +porch, where a sip of water seemed sweeter than ambrosia and a fugitive +breeze more aromatic than any zephyr from Araby the blest. + +Sometimes she and Miss Blake took longer trips into the country, and +then the governess had to be constant in her warnings to her against +her reckless fashion of riding. Again and again she spoke, and Nan +always meant to take heed and then always forgot, and fell back into +her old way once more. + +"I can't resist such a coast as that was," she would plead. "And if I +got off for every old man who thinks he has the right to the road I'd +be dismounting all the while." + +"I beg you not to take such risks," Miss Blake would rejoin. "It +simply spoils my ride for me, Nan, to see you so reckless. Such +head-long wheeling has nothing to recommend it. It is neither expert +nor admirable. When you fling along so blindly you are merely doing a +foolish, heedless thing and running serious risks. I am sure you will +come to grief some day." + +"Don't you worry! I am as much at home in my saddle as I would be in a +rocking-chair. See me ride without touching the handle-bars!" + +And presently she would lose all recollection of her good resolve, and +go hurling on at a break-neck speed in the van of some skittish horse, +or slowly zig-zag ahead in the path of some stolid coachman, causing +him to anathematize all wheelmen in general and this especially +provoking specimen in particular, while her watching companion held her +breath in trembling alarm. + +At last Miss Blake told Nan decidedly that unless she were willing to +ride properly she must give it up altogether. + +"I cannot stand this strain any longer," she said, in real distress. + +She and Mrs. Newton and the girl herself were taking their first ride +in company since the early summer. Now it was autumn, and the leaves +were turning. Mrs. Newton had just come back from the country, and Nan +was eager to display her skill, which she felt had improved not a +little since their neighbor's departure. + +The fresh wind, keen and bracing as it came from the sea, filled her +with a sense of new strength and energy, and she felt the effect of the +invigorating atmosphere in her blood. A scent of burning leaves was in +the air, and the indescribable suggestion of coming winter gayety. +To-day the road was crowded with carriages. They thronged the +fashionable drive, and lent it a peculiarly animated aspect. +Equestrians and wheelmen were also out in full force, and the presence +of so many people set Nan's blood tingling with excitement. She tossed +her head back, as the governess uttered her decision, with the +impatience of a mettlesome horse. + +"Now remember!" warned Miss Blake. + +Perhaps it was just this extra little warning that proved too much for +Nan's overcharged, headstrong spirit--or perhaps she did not hear in +the midst of the noise of hoofs and wheels about them. + +They were spinning noiselessly along the outer edge of the driveway +leading from the Park entrance to the cycle path, when suddenly Nan +gave a quick run forward and then made a swift dart for the other side, +weaving perilously in and out among the horses and moving vehicles, +dexterously dodging, veering, and turning until Miss Blake's heart +throbbed thickly from dread and her pulses beat heavily in her temples. + +"I must overtake her," she cried to her companion. "She will be +killed! I must save her!" + +Even as she spoke her breath caught in a short gasp, and she turned +suddenly rigid and ashen white. + +Coming up the road at full speed was a horse, whose driver, sitting +close over its haunches in his narrow sulky, was racing his animal +against one similarly driven and urging it on to its utmost pace for +winning honor. + +At his approach a clear path was made for him by the turning right and +left of the throng--by all save Nan. + +She heard a man's voice shout hoarsely to her. The oncoming horse had +the speed of a racer. + +A spirit of mad defiance possessed her. She steered straight as an +arrow before her. Then, like a flash, she veered, dodging from under +the horse's very nose. She had accomplished her feat very cleverly. + +But alas, for Nan! + +Even as she sped on, full of the exquisite thrill of exultation in her +own prowess she heard behind her the sound of a dull, fear-thickened +cry. Then a sudden confusion of voices and the cessation of rolling +wheels. She stopped and turned. + +The onward sweep of the mass of vehicles had been instantaneously +checked. The road was clear for some rods before her and in the centre +of this open space lay--a broken bicycle. + +A little group of men crowded close about some central object on the +ground. Women were wringing their hands and weeping hysterically, and +one woman--it was Mrs. Newton--was crying wildly, + +"Let me go to her! Let me go!" + +The circle of men upon the ground made way, and then Nan saw what it +was around which they knelt. + +She gave a quick, fierce cry of pain. The little governess lay quite +still and motionless. Her eyes were closed; her face was white as +marble. All her bright hair was lying loose about her temples--and it +was streaked with blood. + + + + +CHAPTER XIX + +IN MISS BLAKE'S ROOM + +Nan never forgot that scene. It seemed to her afterward, that even in +the midst of the horror that almost stupefied her and made her blind, +it had been indelibly photographed upon her brain to the merest detail +with torturing distinctness. + +She could see Mrs. Newton's drawn, livid face, and the stern, set +expression of the men who gathered about in knots here and there +discussing the accident in whispers, or arranging the best means of +getting back to town. A doctor, who happened to be near at hand, had +sprung forward at the first moment of alarm, and he and a strange, +kind-faced woman were together bending over the prostrate form between +them, while over all arched the high dome of the blue October sky, +beyond them stretched the level road, narrowing in the distance to a +point that seemed to pierce the sea, and on either side spread the +branches of bordering maple trees, each shining brilliant and gorgeous +In the autumn sunlight. + +Presently, in response to a demand from the doctor, a low-hung carriage +drew out from the ranks of waiting vehicles, and into it was lifted, +oh, so carefully! the inert form of the governess, and her head laid +upon Mrs. Newton's lap. + +Nan pressed close to the wheels. + +"Can't I go with her?" she whispered. + +Her companion gazed at her blankly for a moment. Then she seemed to +realize the question, and answered it. + +"No," she replied. "Get my machine, and--and hers, and see that some +one carries them back for us--some man will do it." + +Then without another word she turned her head away, and slowly, slowly +the carriage moved and began its snail's-pace journey townward. + +Nan looked helplessly about her. + +"Won't some one take the bicycles home?" she pleaded. + +She never knew who performed the office. She never cared. She gave +some stranger her address without the slightest interest as to whether +he was trustworthy or no, and then, mounting her own machine, she sped +home as fast as the wheels would turn. + +Thus it was that when the dreary little cavalcade reached home at last +everything was in readiness for its reception. + +There was no difficulty nor delay in getting upstairs, and in an +incredibly short time the place had assumed the air of hushed solemnity +that always seems to overhang the spot where illness is. + +Nan crouched outside the threshold of the sick-room and listened to the +low sounds within with a feeling of overwhelming guilt at her heart. +She dared not go in. + +At last the door was opened, and the physician stepped forward. He saw +Nan cowering in the gloom. + +"What is this?" he asked kindly. + +Nan dragged herself up painfully, as though her limbs had been made of +lead. + +"Have I--have I--killed her?" she managed to gasp. + +The doctor bent on her a pitying look. + +"Killed her?" he repeated. "I do not know what you mean. Do you mean +will she die? No, my child, not if we can help it--and God grant we +may. But it may be long, very long, before she is well. She has been +badly hurt, poor little soul!" + +Then followed a term of harrowing suspense. Nights when Nan thought +the sun had forgotten how to rise--so long they seemed and never ending. + +The fever that followed the first season of lethargy raged fierce and +hot for many a day, and the delirium that accompanied it was difficult +to quell. It seemed at times as though it must burn the patient's very +life away. It was during these days that Nan learned how much she had +caused her friend to suffer. What, in her moments of consciousness, +she had never permitted to pass her lips, now in these hours of +delirium she dwelt on and repeated over and over. It was of Nan, +always of Nan that she spoke. + +Nan must have this; Nan must not do that. It was her duty to protect +Nan and guard her. She followed the girl in perilous journeys; she +tried to guide her from dangerous courses. She betrayed her anxious +care for her in every word she uttered. And then sometimes she would +say something that Nan could not comprehend. + +"Florence's child!" she would murmur. "Florence's child!" and then she +would catch herself back with a sudden look of fear as though she had +betrayed a secret. + +"My mother's name was Florence," Nan would say brokenly. "But I don't +know what she means. She never knew my mother." + +At last came a change, and then Nan was excluded from the room. + +"You might excite her, and she must be carefully guarded against any +chance of that," the doctor said in explanation. + +But Nan was almost too happy to care. The first sound of the low, +sweet voice speaking intelligently sent a thrill of passionate +gratitude to her heart. + +How she and Delia plotted and planned for the invalid. How Nan made +the room to fairly blossom with the flowers that daily came pouring in +from all manner of strange and unexpected sources. + +"I never knew she had such lots of friends," the girl said one day to +Delia. + +The woman looked down at her with a flash of superior understanding in +her eyes. + +"She's a wise one," she said. "She goes her own way, and it's little +she asks of any one and it's less she says. But what she does ain't +little, I can tell you, Nan. I know of many a thing she's done for +those who, if they haven't got money, have the grateful hearts in them +to remember kindness and to love the one that shows it to them. Some +day you'll know her for what she is, and then you'll never strive +against her any more and you'll love her as many another has done +before you." + +The girl gazed straight into the woman's eyes. "I love her now, +Delia," she said. "I've loved her from the first minute--only I didn't +know it some of the time and the rest I was a horrid--little--beast, so +there!" + +Oh, the happy days that Nan spent in that quiet room above stairs. How +she grew to love it! The sunshine coming through the curtains and +making great patches of mellow light upon the floor seemed more bright +here than anywhere else. If it rained, this place was less dreary than +any other, and in sun or storm it was the only spot that Nan felt had +the power to quell her wayward mood when it rose against her will and +urged her back to her hoydenish exploits once more. + +Miss Blake, lying back against her snowy pillows, had a look of such +inexpressible sweetness to Nan that often and often the girl would +fling herself beside the bed with her arms about the fragile figure, +crying: + +"Oh, you dear, you dear! how I love you!" and then the other, with a +very happy smile would invariably answer, "And I you, Nan." + +It was all understood between them now. Pardon had been humbly asked +and freely granted, and there was now only the remaining regret of +impending separation; the dread of the parting that was to come. + +At one time they had thought that it would occur within a few weeks' +time, and the joy that Nan felt in her father's return was overshadowed +by the grief she experienced in the coming loss of her friend. + +But now the date of Mr. Cutler's home-coming had been postponed. He +would leave Bombay as he had at first intended, but business would +detain him in London, and he could not expect to reach home until that +was completed--so Mr. Turner said. + +Thus Nan had to reconcile herself to her disappointment and the +indefiniteness of her father's return, in the thought that if her +meeting with him was deferred, why, so was her parting from Miss Blake. + +The weeks that passed before the governess was fairly convalescent had +brought them well into November. They had been busy, helpful weeks for +Nan. In her thought for her friend's comfort she had unconsciously +learned a lesson in gentleness and patience that nothing else could +have taught her. Her voice grew lower, her step lighter, and the touch +of her fingers more delicate. All this could never have been +accomplished in such a short space by ordinary means, but Love is a +magical teacher and he instructed her in his art. + +As the dear invalid grew stronger Nan tried to beguile the long hours +by reading aloud to her from her favorite authors, sage philosophers, +wise poets, and tender tale-tellers. Sometimes she did not at all +comprehend the meaning of the pages she read, but Miss Blake was always +ready to give her "a lift" over the hardest places, and to her surprise +she grew really to love these serious books, and to get an insight into +the beauty of their character. + +Once in awhile she would take up the daily paper to give her friend an +idea of "what was going on in the world," seriously reading discussions +about this "bill" or that "question" with absolutely no conception of +what the whole thing was about. + +One day, it was during the last of November, she sat before the fire in +the governess' room feeling especially contented and placidly happy. +Miss Blake, safely ensconced among her cushions, was cozily sipping a +cup of bouillon. + +The room was very still. + +Suddenly Nan jumped to her feet, and, clasping her hands high over her +head, said, with a luxurious sort of yawn: + +"Oh--my! How I'm liking it nowadays. Things are so sort of sweet and +cozy. Do you s'pose it's too good to last? Do you s'pose it has +anything to do with my trying to be good and not letting my 'angry +passions rise'?" + +The governess nodded her head, but made no other reply and after an +instant Nan slipped to the floor again, and, sitting Turk-fashion +beside her companion's knee, considered how possible it would have been +for Miss Blake to have taken that occasion to lecture her on the past +error of her ways. But she had learned that it was not the governess' +way to preach. That nod was as eloquent as a sermon to Nan, and she +understood it perfectly. + +"Shall I read you something from 'The Tribune'?" she asked, after a +moment's musing. And she took up the paper and began searching for the +editorial page. When she had found it she set about reading the first +leader that came to hand, quite regardless of whether it would prove +interesting to her auditor or not. The fact that it was unintelligible +to her seemed a sort of guarantee, in her mind, that it would be +interesting to Miss Blake. She read on and on until both her breath +and the column itself came to a stop. + +"You poor child," said the governess affectionately. "Don't read +another word of that. How stupid it must be for you. Here, take this +book of dear Mary Wilkins. We can both of us understand her, and she +will do us both good. You need not victimize yourself a moment longer, +dear Nannie." + +But Nan, radiant with good humor, felt a sort of glory in just such +self-victimizing. She searched through the page for further +unintelligible text. + +All at once she paused and read a few lines to herself. Then she burst +into a laugh. + +"Here's something about a man who has such a funny name. It's James +Murty, alias Dan Divver, alias Shaughnessy. What a last +name--Shaughnessy! And why was he called alias twice over, Miss Blake? +I didn't know one could have the same name more than once. It seems +awfully expensive--I mean extravagant." Miss Blake laughed. + +"You are thinking of Elias, Nan. This man's name is not Elias. Alias +is pronounced differently, and is not a name at all, but a word +signifying otherwise, or otherwise called. It means that the man has +gone under those different titles. And I don't think I care to hear +what it has to say about the gentleman, dear. He probably isn't just +the sort of person whose exploits would make fair reading." + +"Is he bad?" asked Nan. + +"I should gather, from his names, that his existence had been somewhat +checkered," replied the governess with a twinkle in her eye. + +"Is it wicked to go under other names than your own?" + +Miss Blake flushed as she bent forward to place her empty cup upon the +table by her side. She was far from strong yet; the slightest exertion +brought the blood to her cheeks. + +"Not necessarily," she said. "But as a general rule people whose lives +have been simple and upright do not need to live under an assumed name. +Of course there might be exceptional cases--and there is a difference +between an alias and an incognito." + +"What's an incognito?" questioned Nan. + +"Why, if a person of rank or importance travels through a country and +wishes to escape publicity, he often does so incognito--that is, +unknown. He will drop his official title and take his family name or +part of his family name with a simple prefix. For instance, a king +might care to be known as the Duke of So-and-so; a Duke as Mr. ----, +whatever his surname chanced to be. That would not be wicked and it +would not be an alias. And sometimes people who are not nobles find it +desirable to remain unrecognized for a time. Take it for granted that +I was not, in reality, a governess at all; I mean that I was not forced +by circumstances to take such a position, but that I for some reason +chose to assume it. That I cared to come here and be with you because +I had known and loved your parents long ago and wished to do my best +for their child. Then suppose I did not care to disclose my identity +to--to--people because of--well, no matter--I simply came here giving +you but part of my name--not the whole, why it might not be a wise +course, but it certainly could not be called a wicked." + +"Oh, how I wish you had," cried Nan. "It would be splendid fun. Just +like a princess in disguise and things. Say you aren't a governess and +that your name isn't Blake. Oh, please do. It'll be just like +fairy-stories if you will." + +"How can I, dear, when I am and it is?" replied the governess, slowly. +"I am no princess in disguise, I assure you. I am simply a very +prosaic little woman and your devoted friend. I don't think I could +possibly discover anything at all resembling a fairy-tale in my life. +But some time, perhaps, when you are older, and when--I mean, if we +meet again, I will tell you all there is to tell about myself--that is, +if you care to listen. It will not be exciting--but you might care to +know it." + +"Oh, I would, I would!" the girl exclaimed heartily. "But I hate to +have you talk of 'if we meet again.' Why, we must, Miss Blake. Don't +you know I couldn't live and know I wasn't to see you any more? It's +like the most awful thing that could happen to have you go way at all, +and the only way I can bear it is thinking of how we'll see each other +often and often. Why, my father will be so thankful to you for taking +such care of me! I guess he won't know what to do. And when you see +him and find how good he is, you won't be afraid a bit. You'll just as +lief stay here as not. He's the best, the dearest--oh, you couldn't +help but like my father." + +A soft hand patted her head in loving appreciation, but not one word +said the governess, and the two sat together in silence for some time +thinking rather sober thoughts, until the sound of the door-bell broke +in upon the stillness and brought Nan to her feet and sent her flying +to the balusters to peep over and discover who the late caller might be. + +"It's Mr. Turner, and he asked for you," she said, coming back into the +room and bending to gather up the scattered news sheets that strewed +the floor. "He looked as solemn as an owl, and he asked for you in a +voice that made me feel ever so queer--it was so trembly." + +"He may be cold," suggested Miss Blake. + +She rose and settled the pillows upon the divan. She would have to +receive her guest up here. She was not yet permitted to venture below. +She and Nan stood ready to receive him as he entered the room, and +after the first greetings the girl was about to sit down beside her +friend when the lawyer said abruptly: + +"My dear, I must ask you to permit me to talk to Miss Blake alone +to-day. I have some private business to transact with her. You will +pardon me for asking you to leave us." + +Nan rose immediately with a smile of good-natured understanding, but as +she turned to leave the room she saw that the face of the governess was +deathly white, and she ran back to her, crying: + +"What is it; oh, what is it? Are you faint? Let me get you something." + +She was in a sudden bewilderment of alarm. Miss Blake gently put her +aside, saying calmly, + +"Why, nothing is the matter, Nan. Nothing at all, my dear. I am +strong and well now, you know. Quite strong and well. You must not +make Mr. Turner think I am ill, else he will go away again, and I shall +not know what he has to say to me. I am quite able to hear--whatever +it is. So go away, dear." + +The girl obeyed, and the next moment the door had closed behind her, +and only the sound of her voice from without, singing in happy +reassurance, broke the stillness of the room where the lawyer and the +governess stood facing each other silently. + + + + +CHAPTER XX + +THROUGH DEEP WATERS + +Mr. Turner was the first to speak. "Sit down," he said kindly. "You +must not stand." + +Miss Blake sank into her place upon the divan, but she did not lean +back. She sat stiffly upright, nervously locking and unlocking her +fingers in her lap and compressing her lips tightly, but asking no +questions--saying no word. + +The lawyer drew a chair beside her and slowly, deliberately seated +himself in it. + +"You remember," he began at length, in a hesitating sort of way, "that +I told you some time ago that I had some reason to fear that affairs +were not prospering at Bombay. I wish to come to the point at once; to +spare you all suspense. I am afraid Mr. Cutler is in some serious +difficulty, and--" + +He paused. The governess leaned forward, and her breath came quickly. + +"Go on," she whispered. + +"For some time past his letters have been most unsatisfactory. He has +seemed depressed and discouraged. What word I have received from him +during the past few months has been of such a character as to lead one +to form the gravest suspicions. His letters have been short and +hurried--written, evidently, under great mental strain. And latterly +they have ceased altogether. For the last two months, ever since you +have been ill, I have heard literally nothing from him. His plan was +to leave Bombay in September. That he kept to his original purpose I +have no reason to doubt. He was on the steamer, or, at least, his name +was on its passenger list. Of course while you were so ill I could say +nothing to you of this--besides I had only my suspicions then. But as +time passed, and no communication from him reached me I grew +apprehensive. Within the last two weeks I have sent numberless +dispatches to him to his London address, but not one of them has +received a reply--in fact, no one of them has been delivered to him. +The people there do not know where he is. I have cabled to Bombay, +thinking he might have been detained there unexpectedly, but that, too, +has proved of no avail. The Bombay house know nothing of his +whereabouts. He left them as he intended to do in September, and since +then they have heard from him as little as I." + +Miss Blake's eager eyes seemed to search the lawyer through and +through. He shifted uneasily in his place. + +"It is very difficult to go on," he said, with a nervous, constrained +cough. + +"Quick! Quick!" whispered the governess. "Tell me everything +now--this minute. Tell me! Tell me!" + +"There is little more to tell," said Mr. Turner sadly. "This afternoon +I received a wire from his London banker, and it seems--that--he, +William Cutler, is--is--dead." + +There was a low cry. Miss Blake had leaped to her feet at his words, +and now she was swaying forward as though too faint to stand. The +lawyer sprang forward to save her from falling, but she pushed him away +with both hands almost savagely. + +"No, no!" she gasped. "I am strong. I am strong. But--God pity us! +My poor little Nan--and--oh, my poor little Nan!" + +She sank back upon the divan and buried her face in her outstretched +arms. + +The lawyer rose and went to the window. + +Outside the wind blew drearily. The bare trees showed but dimly +through the gathering dusk. It was a bleak, cold outlook. Presently +down the street came a man with a lighted torch and set the gas-flames +to flickering in every lamp along his way. + +Mr. Turner watched him until he had passed out of sight--then he turned +about and came back to the sofa once more. + +Miss Blake had raised her head and sat staring blankly before her, +dry-eyed, but with an expression far sadder than tears; the dull, +lifeless look of helpless misery that has not yet been touched with +submission. + +"Shall I leave you now?" asked the lawyer softly. "Perhaps you would +rather be alone. I can come again--whenever you wish. Perhaps it +would be better for me to come again when you are stronger--better able +to bear it." + +She turned her large eyes upon him in a sort of mute supplication. All +the light had gone out of them now. Mr. Turner reseated himself and +continued: + +"He died in a hospital in London of a malignant fever. No one saw him. +He was buried within twenty-four hours, I presume according to the law +in such cases. Of course, I have no particulars, only the barest +outline of facts. Undoubtedly I shall receive a letter by the next +steamer, giving details. It is all desperately sad--heart-breakingly +sad. Poor fellow! So young and to die alone among strangers." + +Miss Blake stretched out her hands supplicatingly. + +"Don't," she pleaded. + +"Shall I tell Nan?" Mr. Turner asked after a moment. "Perhaps it would +be better if I should. You have undergone enough." + +"No, no!" she cried. "No one must tell her but myself. But first I +must talk to you about--about--you know when I came here I had reasons +for wishing her not to know who I was. Now I will tell her. There is +no more need to withhold anything. Delia always knew--from the +first--but she never told Nan and she never would have told. But that +is all over now. There is no need for secrecy any more. And I will +stay with her. I will keep her with me always. She has no one else +now, and I--I--I am free to do as I please. If--if he has left her +unprovided for, why, that shall make no difference to her. I have +plenty and she shall share it with me. She shall never feel the care +or want of anything that I can supply. Ah, Mr. Turner, I am glad I +came. It has been hard, but I am glad I came." + +She broke down completely. Her frail figure shook with shuddering sobs. + +But she was not a woman to give way long, and in a moment she regained +her self-control. + +"I must have time to think," she said. "Everything seems so changed +and strange. I scarcely know where I stand. The suddenness of it has +been so horrible. I suppose he must have been ill for a long time--too +ill to write. And by and by when they took him to the hospital he must +have been unconscious, and so they could not communicate with his +friends. That would account for it all, his not writing nor receiving +the dispatches--and his friends not knowing where he was." + +Mr. Turner nodded. Then he rose. + +"I will leave you now," he said. "You are completely worn out. If you +will take my advice you will defer telling Nan until tomorrow. I fear +the strain will prove too great for you." + +She smiled faintly. + +"Oh, no," she replied. "I am stronger than you think. But the child +shall not be told tonight. I will leave her in peace for one night +longer. I will let her get one more good night's rest. Then +to-morrow, when she is refreshed and strengthened by her sleep she can +learn it all." + +The lawyer held out his hand. "This has been one of the hardest trials +of my life," he said. "But you have helped me by your bravery and +fortitude. I thank you from my heart. Good night!" and in a moment he +was gone. + +That evening Miss Blake bade Delia take Nan to the Andrews'. She wrote +a short note to Ruth's mother in which she begged her to keep the girl +through the evening and make her as happy as she could. She briefly +stated the reason for her request. + +Nan knew that something was being kept from her but she never suspected +what. She fancied it must be connected with Miss Blake's private +affairs, and she asked no questions. When she reached the Andrews' her +exuberant spirits reasserted themselves and she spent a gay evening +with Ruth, Mrs. Andrews leading in the fun and seeing that no one +passed a dull moment. They played all sorts of games, and then finally +Bridget appeared with the crowning delight, a tray upon which a +tempting array of good things was set forth. How Nan enjoyed it! She +often thought afterward what a happy evening it was. At ten o'clock +Delia called for her and she went home through the still night, +thinking all sorts of merry thoughts. Miss Blake listened with +apparent interest to her description of her evening's jollification, +and when she had finished gave her an especially tender good-night +kiss, saying: + +"God bless you, my Nan. Sleep well, dear, and let us both pray for +strength to bear God's will." + +The next morning after breakfast Nan discovered why Miss Blake had bade +her especially to pray for strength. + +Poor child! She felt so utterly weak and helpless in her misery. At +first she could scarcely realize what had befallen her and she kept +insisting, "It isn't my father that has died. It is some one else. +How can I feel that he isn't alive? He can't be dead! He isn't! He +isn't! Why, only yesterday I was expecting he would soon be home. +It's some other man who hasn't got a daughter that loves him so." + +But by and by she grew desperate in her wretchedness and then it took +all Miss Blake's influence to restrain her from really wearing herself +out in the abandon of her grief. + +But by evening the house was quiet. Nan's loud sobbing had ceased and +she lay quite still and exhausted, stretched upon the divan in Miss +Blake's room, with her throbbing head in the governess' lap. A tender +hand stroked her disheveled hair, a tender voice spoke words of comfort +to her, and she was soothed and solaced by both. + +"Shall I tell you a story, Nan?" asked Miss Blake at length. + +The girl gave a silent nod of assent. + +"Well, once upon a time," began the governess in a gentle monotone, +"there lived two girls and they were friends. They loved each other +dearly. One was tall and fair and beautiful, and the other was small +and dark, and if people ever thought her even pretty it was because +love lighted their kind eyes and made it seem that what they looked +upon was sweet. + +"The first girl had father and mother and a happy home. The second was +an orphan, having nothing to remind her of the parents she had lost +when she was a baby but the fortune they had left her. She never knew +what love meant until she met her beautiful friend. Then she learned. +Oh, how those two girls loved each other! When Florence, the beautiful +one, found that Isabel had no home she pleaded with her parents to take +her into theirs, and they not only took her to their home but to their +hearts as well. And so she and her dear friend grew up together like +sisters, and the little lonely girl was not lonely any more, but very, +very happy among those she loved. Well, time went on, and by and by +when the two girls had become quite young women, the first more +beautiful than ever, the other a little less plain, maybe, something +happened that, in the end, caused them to be separated forever. + +"God sent into their lives the self-same experience and into their +hearts the self-same thought. It was a beautiful experience and a +beautiful thought, but if it was to mean happiness for one, it must be +at the cost of grief to the other. Perhaps it was because they both +knew this that neither of them told her secret. But presently it was +decided which was to have the happiness. It came to the one who +expected it least--who had the least right to expect it. It came to +Isabel, and for a moment she thought she might accept it. But it was +only for a moment. Then she knew that she must relinquish it. It +would have been base, would it not, my Nan, to have defrauded the +friend who had done so much for her? And so she, Isabel, left the +house that had been her home for so many years, and quite solitary and +alone sailed across the sea to the other side of the world, and there +she stayed for--well, over a dozen years, my dear. + +"It was soon after she went away that your mother--I mean Florence--was +married. Isabel heard of it and was glad. And later, when she learned +that a dear little daughter had been born to Florence, she was happier +still. But then came sad news. Oh, such sad news! The beautiful +young mother died, died and left her little baby girl behind her with +only the poor father to take care of it. + +"Then, after that, Isabel heard nothing more for a long, long time, for +Florence's good parents were dead and her husband and Isabel +were--well, not at enmity, Nan, but not at peace together. It was all +owing to a misunderstanding, but that did not alter it. They were not +friends and Isabel was too proud to write and ask him whether all went +well with him and the little daughter or whether she might perhaps help +to care for the child. And so years passed and then one day Isabel +felt that she could remain away from America no longer. All the time +there had been a great longing in her heart to return, but she had +tried to smother it and tell herself that she had no Fatherland; that +America was no more to her than any of the strange countries she had +lived in; that her acquaintances abroad were as much to her as her +friends at home. But, as I say, by and by she could resist her desire +no longer, and so one day she set sail for America--I think it must +have been after she had been absent for quite fourteen years--and oh! +how her heart beat when she saw the dear land once more. Well, I must +make my story short, Nan, so I will not tell you how it came about that +she first heard that Florence's little daughter had grown into a tall +girl; that she was living in the old house where Isabel had spent so +many happy years; that her father had gone to some far Eastern country +and left her in the charge of a faithful servant of her mother's who +had loved them all in days gone by. But she learned all this and more +beside and then something told her that it was her duty to go to +Florence's child and care for her and show her as well as she might how +to be a noble, true, and lovely woman, as her mother had been before +her. So she went to the little girl as governess and at first the +child was opposed to her, but by and by she--I really think she grew to +love her almost as much as the governess loved the child. And all this +time the father never knew who was caring for his girl because in the +letters that went to him the governess was spoken of by but part of her +name. She chose to live incognito, you know what that is, Nan, because +she feared if he knew who was serving his child as governess he would +write to her in his proud fashion and say: + +"No; I need no one to care for my daughter for love. Whomever I employ +I will pay. You are a wealthy woman. You need not work for money. My +few poor dollars are nothing to you. Besides--" + +"And then I think, Nan, he would have referred to the old disagreement +and it would all have been very painful, and she would have had to go +away and been lonely ever after and have left undone her duty to +Florence's child. So she lived quietly in the old house with the +little girl and the servant and all went well for a year and +then--well, then, dear Nan, I think I need not tell what happened then. +But, oh, my dear, you are my own little girl--Florence's child and I +loved her, ah! I loved her so. For her sake you are mine now. Never +say that you are 'all alone' again. I have taken you as a sacred +trust. Come to me, Nan, for I am lonely too, I am lonely too." + + + + +CHAPTER XXI + +ANOTHER CHRISTMAS + +It was Christmas eve. Nan was sitting before the dining-room fire +curled up in a huge arm chair thinking. Her pale face had grown +wonderfully sweet during the last few weeks; the curves about her mouth +had softened; her eyes had lost their keen sparkle and gained a softer +light instead. She seemed to have undergone a complete transformation, +and any one seeing the headstrong hoyden of the year before would have +found it difficult to recognize her in this gentle-mannered girl with +her serene brow and patient eyes, to whom suffering had taught so hard +a lesson. Her black dress and her parted hair gave her a wonderfully +meek look. But Nan was not meek. She was merely controlled. The same +hot passions still rose in her breast, but she tried to restrain them +now. + +This evening she was thinking over all that had happened during the +past year; especially she was trying to project her thoughts into the +future, and to imagine what would occur in the years to come. She had +not yet become accustomed to the idea of life without her father. It +seemed to her that he must be alive, and she often waked up in the +night from such a vivid dream of him that it seemed as though he really +stood beside her, and that she might feel his hand if she stretched +forth her own in the dark. It was difficult to reconcile herself to +living without the hope of his return; it was hard to convince herself +that she must never look forward to receiving a letter from him again. +But she knew it must be accomplished, and the effort would help to make +a noble woman of her. + +As she sat there in the dim room, with only the fire to light it, she +wondered whether anything could make of her as noble a woman as was her +"Aunt Isabel." In her heart she felt not. Aunt Isabel was simply +perfect in the girl's sight, and if she could ever have been brought to +doubt her perfection, why, there was Delia to prove it with her +emphatic: + +"No, ma'am! There ain't no one in this world like her. She is the +best, the generousest, the most self-sacrificin' soul on earth--that +she is, and I've known her ever since she was a child. If any one was +to ask me the name of the woman I've most call to honor an' love, I'd +say 'twas Isabel Blake Severance an' never stop a minute to think it +over." + +And both Nan and Delia had long ago decided that while other women +might be more beautiful, no one could have softer, sunnier hair than +Aunt Isabel, nor truer, tenderer eyes, nor a prettier nose nor a +sweeter mouth. And Nan was quite confident that if one hunted the +whole globe over one could not find dimples more entirely winning nor +hands whose touch was so absolutely soothing and soft. + +But Miss Severance could never be brought to admit these important +facts, though Nan often sought to convince her of their truth. She was +too busy a woman to have time to think whether she were beautiful or +not. + +"Good is the thing," she would say, in her brisk fashion. "If I can +look in the glass and see the reflection of a good woman there, I have +no right to regret that she is not a beautiful one." + +Just now she was upstairs, busied with some matter of mysterious +importance from which Nan was excluded. She and Delia had been shut +into her room all the afternoon. Nan had ample time and opportunity +for the manufacture of her own Christmas gifts, Aunt Isabel being so +much occupied, behind closed door, with hers. + +For quite a time now Nan had been forced to station herself in the +regions below stairs, where she would hear the bell if it rang, so that +Delia might be free to give all her attention to Miss Severance. +Evidently great things were in operation above. Nan wondered what it +could all be about. + +Christmas had lost much of its joyousness this year, but still there +was a little flavor of merriment left. Aunt Isabel had no sympathy +with the hark-from-the-tombs-a-doleful-sound attitude. She thought it +was one's duty to be as cheery and hopeful as possible, and not to add +to the misery of the world at large by forcing it to witness one's +private grief. She and Nan had their hours of tender mourning and +sincere regret, but it was always Miss Severance's desire that no +unwholesome brooding should be indulged in by either of them. + +So the girl tried to restrain the tears that would rise at the thought +of these saddened holidays, and endeavored to bring her mind to bear on +more happy subjects. She thought of her plans for the next day; she +made a mental recount of the gifts she had prepared, and then, somehow +against her will, her memory took her back to that morning when she had +heard of her father's death and listened to Miss Severance's story, and +she lived over again those intense moments when it almost seemed to her +her mother had been restored to her in this rare friend. The simple +history had a peculiar fascination for the girl, and she liked to think +that it was here, in these very rooms, that it all had been enacted. + +She liked to look into those books of Miss Severance's that had her +mother's name upon the fly-leaf, and she liked to think that they were +given to "Bell with Florence's fond love." + +Miss Severance had several photographs of her mother as a girl that Nan +had never seen, and she was fond of looking them over and exclaiming at +the "old-fashioned" frocks and quaintly arranged hair, and wondering +whether this happy-looking girl ever discovered the sacrifice her +friend had made for her. + +One day Nan asked Miss Severance as much, but Aunt Isabel had shaken +her head gravely and said: + +"No, Nan, she never did. And don't think of that part of the story, my +dear. It was no more than I ought to have done. You must not make a +piece of heroism of it. I only told it to you because unless I had, it +would have been difficult to explain why I left her and went so far +away." + +"Aunt Isabel," Nan said, "won't you tell me just what it was you gave +up?" But Miss Severance shook her head. + +What the girl could not at all comprehend was the fact of any one's +being "not at peace" with Aunt Isabel. Aunt Isabel, who never was +unjust nor unkind, nor anything but generous and good to every one. +She thought if she could have spoken to her father she could have +convinced him that he was mistaken about Aunt Isabel. But that was +impossible now. Her father--again the hot tears came surging up, and +her breast began to heave. + +Suddenly she started. What was that? She jumped to her feet. +Somebody was turning the knob of the street door and fitting a key in +the lock. At first it was her impulse to cry out, but she mastered +herself and ran quickly through the parlor and stood bravely on the +threshold waiting for the door to open and admit the intruder. Her +heart beat like a trip-hammer in her side, and the pulses in her wrists +and temples throbbed painfully. She saw the door move inward, she felt +the rush of cold outer air upon her face, and then-- + +In a moment she was locked in two strong arms, her head was pressed +against a dear, broad chest, and she was crying "Father! Father!" in a +perfect ecstasy of rapture and a tempest of tears. + +For a few moments neither of them said a single word. They just clung +to each other and wept--the strong man as well as the slender girl. + +They seemed to lose all other thought in the joy of the meeting. Then +somehow they found themselves in the library, and Nan, still sobbing +for very happiness, was listening to her father as he told her how, for +many months, he had been ill, but had tried to fight it off and +overcome it, because he was so anxious to get home, and he could not +bear to think he might be prevented. Then, just before his ship +sailed, and after he had enrolled himself among the list of passengers, +and bidden good-bye to those he knew, he was stricken down and for +weeks lay unconscious, between life and death, as utterly unbefriended +as though he had been in the midst of a wilderness. How he came to +recover he never knew, but it seemed as though his great longing for +home gave him strength to battle through the dreadful fever. Then, +almost too feeble to stand, he was taken to the ship and borne to +England, his body weak from suffering, but his heart strong with hope. + +The voyage was a severe one, and before he reached London he had a +relapse, so that when they entered port he had to be carried ashore, +and, too ill to know or care what happened to him, was taken to a +lodging-house and nursed back to health once more by the keeper +herself, whose son was the steward of the ship on which he had crossed. + +"You can fancy, Nannie, that I had only one thought all that time--to +get back to you. The first move I was able to make was to the ship, +and I sailed without having seen or spoken to a soul I knew in London. +Then on board I met a friend, who told me of the report of my death, +and I knew that you must have heard it. The people at the bank would +communicate with Turner, I felt sure. Ah, what days those were! It +seemed as though we should never reach land. But we got in to-day, and +you can imagine that I have not lost one moment in coming to you, +sweetheart. But how my girl has changed. Grown so tall and womanly. +I'm afraid I've lost my little Wildfire. But the girl I've found in +her stead is a hundred times dearer." + +Then Nan clung to him again and they were very happy, feeling how good +God was, and how very blessed it felt to be together. + +For a while they both stopped talking and sat quite still, holding +hands, while each heart offered up a prayer of gratitude. + +They did not hear an upper door open, nor did they notice a light +footstep in the hall above. But at the sound of a gentle voice calling +"Nan!" they both started up, and the girl's grasp of her father's hand +tightened, for she felt him suddenly start and tremble. She tried to +answer but could not for the joy she felt and the quick fear of this +other loss she would have to suffer now. + +"Nan!" + +Still the girl could not reply, though she tried, and her father's face +had grown rigid and white, as though it were carved in marble. + +Then down the stairs and through the hall came Aunt Isabel, stopping at +the threshold of the dining-room door for a moment to accustom her eyes +to the dimness within. + +There she stood--the bright light from the hall lamp falling full upon +her head and the ruddy glow of the fire illuminating her face. + +Nan caught up her father's hand, for she felt him suddenly shrink and +falter. + +The little figure in the doorway neither stirred or moved. + +For an instant there was perfect silence in the room, and then Nan saw +her father stride forward with a look of the most wonderful happiness +upon his face, and heard him utter one word in a tone that set her +heart to beating. + +"Bell!" + +And somehow then she knew it all. In one brief flash she read the +whole story, and she saw that it was to be completed at last, and that +the loss she had feared she would not know at all, but something +infinitely happier and more sweet. + + +THE END + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Governess, by Julie M. Lippmann + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GOVERNESS *** + +***** This file should be named 23778.txt or 23778.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/2/3/7/7/23778/ + +Produced by Al Haines + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you +do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the +rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose +such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and +research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do +practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is +subject to the trademark license, especially commercial +redistribution. + + + +*** START: FULL LICENSE *** + +THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE +PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK + +To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free +distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work +(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project +Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project +Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at +https://gutenberg.org/license). + + +Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic works + +1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to +and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property +(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all +the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy +all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. +If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the +terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or +entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. + +1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be +used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who +agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few +things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works +even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See +paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement +and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. See paragraph 1.E below. + +1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" +or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the +collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an +individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are +located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from +copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative +works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg +are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project +Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by +freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of +this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with +the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by +keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project +Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. + +1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern +what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in +a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check +the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement +before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or +creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project +Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning +the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United +States. + +1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: + +1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate +access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently +whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the +phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project +Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, +copied or distributed: + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + +1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived +from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is +posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied +and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees +or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work +with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the +work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 +through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the +Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or +1.E.9. + +1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted +with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution +must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional +terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked +to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the +permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. + +1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this +work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. + +1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this +electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without +prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with +active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project +Gutenberg-tm License. + +1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, +compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any +word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or +distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than +"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version +posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), +you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a +copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon +request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other +form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. + +1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, +performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works +unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. + +1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing +access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided +that + +- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from + the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method + you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is + owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he + has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the + Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments + must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you + prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax + returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and + sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the + address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to + the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies + you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he + does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm + License. You must require such a user to return or + destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium + and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of + Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any + money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the + electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days + of receipt of the work. + +- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free + distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set +forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from +both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael +Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the +Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. + +1.F. + +1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable +effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread +public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm +collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain +"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual +property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a +computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by +your equipment. + +1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right +of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project +Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all +liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal +fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT +LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE +PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE +TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE +LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR +INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH +DAMAGE. + +1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a +defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can +receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a +written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you +received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with +your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with +the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a +refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity +providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to +receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy +is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further +opportunities to fix the problem. + +1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth +in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO +WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. + +1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied +warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. +If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the +law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be +interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by +the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any +provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. + +1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the +trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone +providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance +with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, +promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, +harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, +that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do +or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm +work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any +Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. + + +Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm + +Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of +electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers +including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists +because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from +people in all walks of life. + +Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the +assistance they need, is critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's +goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will +remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure +and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. +To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 +and the Foundation web page at https://www.pglaf.org. + + +Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive +Foundation + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit +501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the +state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal +Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification +number is 64-6221541. Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at +https://pglaf.org/fundraising. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent +permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. + +The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. +Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered +throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at +809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email +business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact +information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official +page at https://pglaf.org + +For additional contact information: + Dr. Gregory B. Newby + Chief Executive and Director + gbnewby@pglaf.org + + +Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation + +Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide +spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of +increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be +freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest +array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations +($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt +status with the IRS. + +The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating +charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United +States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a +considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up +with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations +where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To +SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any +particular state visit https://pglaf.org + +While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we +have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition +against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who +approach us with offers to donate. + +International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make +any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from +outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. + +Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation +methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other +ways including including checks, online payments and credit card +donations. To donate, please visit: https://pglaf.org/donate + + +Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. + +Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm +concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared +with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project +Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. + + +Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + https://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. diff --git a/23778.zip b/23778.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..dfc7c58 --- /dev/null +++ b/23778.zip diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ab7fabe --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #23778 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/23778) |
