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+Project Gutenberg's Devotions Upon Emergent Occasions, by John Donne
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Devotions Upon Emergent Occasions
+ Together with Death's Duel
+
+Author: John Donne
+
+Release Date: December 8, 2007 [EBook #23772]
+[Last updated: December 8, 2011]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DEVOTIONS UPON EMERGENT OCCASIONS ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Stacy Brown, John Hagerson, Juliet Sutherland
+and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at
+http://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+JOHN DONNE
+
+
+DEVOTIONS
+
+UPON EMERGENT OCCASIONS
+
+
+_Together with_
+
+DEATH'S DUEL
+
+
+ANN ARBOR PAPERBACKS
+
+_The University of Michigan Press_
+
+
+
+
+First edition as an
+
+ANN ARBOR PAPERBACK 1959
+
+Published in the United States of America by the University of Michigan
+and simultaneously in Toronto, Canada, by Ambassador Books, Ltd.
+
+
+Manufactured in the United States of America
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS
+
+
+THE LIFE OF DR. JOHN DONNE v
+
+DEVOTIONS 1
+
+DEATH'S DUEL 161
+
+
+
+
+_THE LIFE OF DR. JOHN DONNE_
+
+(_Taken from the life by Izaak Walton_).
+
+
+Master John Donne was born in London, in the year 1573, of good and
+virtuous parents: and, though his own learning and other multiplied
+merits may justly appear sufficient to dignify both himself and his
+posterity, yet the reader may be pleased to know that his father was
+masculinely and lineally descended from a very ancient family in Wales,
+where many of his name now live, that deserve and have great reputation
+in that country.
+
+By his mother he was descended of the family of the famous and learned
+Sir Thomas More, sometime Lord Chancellor of England: as also, from that
+worthy and laborious Judge Rastall, who left posterity the vast Statutes
+of the Law of this nation most exactly abridged.
+
+He had his first breeding in his father's house, where a private tutor
+had the care of him, until the tenth year of his age; and, in his
+eleventh year, was sent to the University of Oxford, having at that time
+a good command both of the French and Latin tongue. This, and some other
+of his remarkable abilities, made one then give this censure of him:
+That this age had brought forth another Picus Mirandula; of whom story
+says, that he was rather born than made wise by study.
+
+There he remained for some years in Hart Hall, having, for the
+advancement of his studies, tutors of several sciences to attend and
+instruct him, till time made him capable, and his learning expressed in
+public exercises, declared him worthy, to receive his first degree in
+the schools, which he forbore by advice from his friends, who, being for
+their religion of the Romish persuasion, were conscionably averse to
+some parts of the oath that is always tendered at those times, and not
+to be refused by those that expect the titulary honour of their studies.
+
+About the fourteenth year of his age he was transplanted from Oxford to
+Cambridge, where, that he might receive nourishment from both soils, he
+staid till his seventeenth year; all which time he was a most laborious
+student, often changing his studies, but endeavouring to take no degree,
+for the reasons formerly mentioned.
+
+About the seventeenth year of his age he was removed to London, and then
+admitted into Lincoln's Inn, with an intent to study the law, where he
+gave great testimonies of his wit, his learning, and of his improvement
+in that profession; which never served him for other use than an
+ornament and self-satisfaction.
+
+His father died before his admission into this society; and, being a
+merchant, left him his portion in money. (It was L3,000.) His mother,
+and those to whose care he was committed, were watchful to improve his
+knowledge, and to that end appointed him tutors both in the mathematics,
+and in all the other liberal sciences, to attend him. But, with these
+arts, they were advised to instil into him particular principles of the
+Romish Church; of which those tutors professed, though secretly,
+themselves to be members.
+
+They had almost obliged him to their faith; having for their advantage,
+besides many opportunities, the example of his dear and pious parents,
+which was a most powerful persuasion, and did work much upon him, as he
+professeth in his preface to his "Pseudo-Martyr," a book of which the
+reader shall have some account in what follows.
+
+He was now entered into the eighteenth year of his age; and at that time
+had betrothed himself to no religion that might give him any other
+denomination than a Christian. And reason and piety had both persuaded
+him that there could be no such sin as schism, if an adherence to some
+visible Church were not necessary.
+
+About the nineteenth year of his age, he, being then unresolved what
+religion to adhere to, and considering how much it concerned his soul to
+choose the most orthodox, did therefore,--though his youth and health
+promised him a long life--to rectify all scruples that might concern
+that, presently lay aside all study of the law, and of all other
+sciences that might give him a denomination; and began seriously to
+survey and consider the body of Divinity, as it was then controverted
+betwixt the Reformed and the Roman Church. And, as God's blessed
+Spirit did then awaken him to the search, and in that industry
+did never forsake him--they be his own words (in his preface to
+"Pseudo-Martyr")--so he calls the same Holy Spirit to witness this
+protestation; that in that disquisition and search he proceeded with
+humility and diffidence in himself; and by that which he took to be the
+safest way; namely, frequent prayers, and an indifferent affection to
+both parties; and, indeed, Truth had too much light about her to be hid
+from so sharp an inquirer; and he had too much ingenuity not to
+acknowledge he had found her.
+
+Being to undertake this search, he believed the Cardinal Bellarmine to
+be the best defender of the Roman cause, and therefore betook himself to
+the examination of his reasons. The cause was weighty, and wilful delays
+had been inexcusable both towards God and his own conscience: he
+therefore proceeded in this search with all moderate haste, and about
+the twentieth year of his age did show the then Dean of
+Gloucester--whose name my memory hath now lost--all the Cardinal's works
+marked with many weighty observations under his own hand; which works
+were bequeathed by him, at his death, as a legacy to a most dear friend.
+
+About a year following he resolved to travel: and the Earl of Essex
+going first to Cales, and after the Island voyages, the first anno 1596,
+the second 1597, he took the advantage of those opportunities, waited
+upon his Lordship, and was an eye-witness of those happy and unhappy
+employments.
+
+But he returned not back into England till he had staid some years,
+first in Italy and then in Spain, where he made many useful observations
+of those countries, their laws and manner of government, and returned
+perfect in their languages.
+
+The time that he spent in Spain was, at his first going into Italy,
+designed for travelling to the Holy Land, and for viewing Jerusalem and
+the Sepulchre of our Saviour. But at his being in the furthest parts of
+Italy, the disappointment of company, or of a safe convoy, or the
+uncertainty of returns of money into those remote parts, denied him
+that happiness, which he did often occasionally mention with a
+deploration.
+
+Not long after his return into England, that exemplary pattern of
+gravity and wisdom, the Lord Ellesmere, then Keeper of the Great Seal,
+the Lord Chancellor of England, taking notice of his learning,
+languages, and other abilities, and much affecting his person and
+behaviour, took him to be his chief secretary; supposing and intending
+it to be an introduction to some more weighty employment in the State;
+for which, his Lordship did often protest, he thought him very fit.
+
+Nor did his Lordship, in this time of Master Donne's attendance upon
+him, account him to be so much his servant as to forget he was his
+friend; and, to testify it, did always use him with much courtesy,
+appointing him a place at his own table, to which he esteemed his
+company and discourse to be a great ornament.
+
+He continued that employment for the space of five years, being daily
+useful, and not mercenary to his friend. During which time he--I dare
+not say unhappily--fell into such a liking, as,--with her
+approbation,--increased into a love, with a young gentlewoman that lived
+in that family, who was niece to the Lady Ellesmere, and daughter to Sir
+George More, then Chancellor of the Garter and Lieutenant of the Tower.
+
+Sir George had some intimation of it, and, knowing prevention to be a
+great part of wisdom, did therefore remove her with much haste from that
+to his own house at Lothesley, in the County of Surrey; but too late, by
+reason of some faithful promises which were so interchangeably passed,
+as never to be violated by either party.
+
+These promises were only known to themselves; and the friends of both
+parties used much diligence, and many arguments, to kill or cool their
+affections to each other; but in vain, for love is a flattering mischief
+that hath denied aged and wise men a foresight of those evils that too
+often prove to be the children of that blind father; a passion that
+carries us to commit errors with as much ease as whirlwinds move
+feathers, and begets in us an unwearied industry to the attainment of
+what we desire. And such an industry did, notwithstanding much
+watchfulness against it, bring them secretly together,--I forbear to
+tell the manner how,--and at last to a marriage too, without the
+allowance of those friends whose approbation always was, and ever will
+be necessary, to make even a virtuous love become lawful.
+
+And that the knowledge of their marriage might not fall, like an
+unexpected tempest, on those that were unwilling to have it so; and that
+pre-apprehensions might make it the less enormous when it was known, it
+was purposely whispered into the ears of many that it was so, yet by
+none that could affirm it. But, to put a period to the jealousies of Sir
+George--doubt often begetting more restless thoughts than the certain
+knowledge of what we fear--the news was, in favour to Mr. Donne, and
+with his allowance, made known to Sir George, by his honourable friend
+and neighbour Henry, Earl of Northumberland; but it was to Sir George so
+immeasurably unwelcome, and so transported him that, as though his
+passion of anger and inconsideration might exceed theirs of love and
+error, he presently engaged his sister, the Lady Ellesmere, to join with
+him to procure her lord to discharge Mr. Donne of the place he held
+under his Lordship. This request was followed with violence; and though
+Sir George were remembered that errors might be over punished, and
+desired therefore to forbear till second considerations might clear some
+scruples, yet he became restless until his suit was granted and the
+punishment executed. And though the Lord Chancellor did not, at Mr.
+Donne's dismission, give him such a commendation as the great Emperor
+Charles the Fifth did of his Secretary Eraso, when he parted with him to
+his son and successor, Philip the Second, saying, "That in his Eraso, he
+gave to him a greater gift than all his estate, and all the kingdoms
+which he then resigned to him;" yet the Lord Chancellor said, "He parted
+with a friend, and such a Secretary as was fitter to serve a king than a
+subject."
+
+Immediately after his dismission from his service, he sent a sad letter
+to his wife to acquaint her with it; and after the subscription of his
+name, writ,
+
+ "John Donne, Anne Donne, Un-done;"
+
+and God knows it proved too true; for this bitter physic of Mr. Donne's
+dismission, was not enough to purge out all Sir George's choler, for he
+was not satisfied till Mr. Donne and his sometime compupil in Cambridge,
+that married him, namely, Samuel Brooke, who was after Doctor in
+Divinity and Master of Trinity College--and his brother Mr. Christopher
+Brooke, sometime Mr. Donne's chamber-fellow in Lincoln's Inn, who gave
+Mr. Donne his wife, and witnessed the marriage, were all committed to
+three several prisons.
+
+Mr. Donne was first enlarged, who neither gave rest to his body or
+brain, nor to any friend in whom he might hope to have an interest,
+until he had procured an enlargement for his two imprisoned friends.
+
+He was now at liberty, but his days were still cloudy; and, being past
+these troubles, others did still multiply upon him; for his wife was--to
+her extreme sorrow--detained from him; and though, with Jacob, he
+endured not a hard service for her, yet he lost a good one, and was
+forced to make good his title, and to get possession of her by a long
+and restless suit in law, which proved troublesome and sadly chargeable
+to him, whose youth, and travel, and needless bounty, had brought his
+estate into a narrow compass.
+
+It is observed, and most truly, that silence and submission are charming
+qualities, and work most upon passionate men; and it proved so with Sir
+George; for these, and a general report of Mr. Donne's merits, together
+with his winning behaviour,--which, when it would entice, had a strange
+kind of elegant irresistible art;--these, and time, had so
+dispassionated Sir George, that, as the world had approved his
+daughter's choice, so he also could not but see a more than ordinary
+merit in his new son; and this at last melted him into so much
+remorse--for love and anger are so like agues as to have hot and cold
+fits; and love in parents, though it may be quenched, yet is easily
+rekindled, and expires not till death denies mankind a natural
+heat--that he laboured his son's restoration to his place; using to that
+end both his own and his sister's power to her lord; but with no
+success; for his answer was, "That though he was unfeignedly sorry for
+what he had done, yet it was inconsistent with his place and credit, to
+discharge and readmit servants at the request of passionate
+petitioners."
+
+Sir George's endeavour for Mr. Donne's readmission was by all means to
+be kept secret:--for men do more naturally reluct for errors than submit
+to put on those blemishes that attend their visible acknowledgment. But,
+however, it was not long before Sir George appeared to be so far
+reconciled as to wish their happiness, and not to deny them his paternal
+blessing, but yet refused to contribute any means that might conduce to
+their livelihood.
+
+Mr. Donne's estate was the greatest part spent in many and chargeable
+travels, books, and dear-bought experience: he out of all employment
+that might yield a support for himself and wife, who had been curiously
+and plentifully educated; both their natures generous, and accustomed to
+confer, and not to receive, courtesies, these and other considerations,
+but chiefly that his wife was to bear a part in his sufferings,
+surrounded him with many sad thoughts, and some apparent apprehensions
+of want.
+
+But his sorrows were lessened and his wants prevented by the seasonable
+courtesy of their noble kinsman, Sir Francis Wolly, of Pirford in
+Surrey, who intreated them to a cohabitation with him; where they
+remained with much freedom to themselves, and equal content to Him, for
+some years; and as their charge increased--she had yearly a child--so
+did his love and bounty.
+
+Mr. Donne and his wife continued with Sir Francis Wolly till his death:
+a little before which time Sir Francis was so happy as to make a perfect
+reconciliation between Sir George and his forsaken son and daughter; Sir
+George conditioning, by bond, to pay to Mr. Donne 800_l._ at a certain
+day, as a portion with his wife, or 20_l._ quarterly for their
+maintenance, as the interest for it, till the said portion was paid.
+
+Most of those years that he lived with Sir Francis he studied the Civil
+and Canon Laws; in which he acquired such a perfection, as was judged to
+hold proportion with many, who had made that study the employment of
+their whole life.
+
+Sir Francis being dead, and that happy family dissolved, Mr. Donne took
+for himself a house in Mitcham--near to Croydon in Surrey--a place noted
+for good air and choice company: there his wife and children remained;
+and for himself he took lodgings in London, near to Whitehall, whither
+his friends and occasions drew him very often, and where he was as often
+visited by many of the nobility and others of this nation, who used him
+in their counsels of greatest consideration, and with some rewards for
+his better subsistence.
+
+Nor did our own nobility only value and favour him, but his acquaintance
+and friendship was sought for by most Ambassadors of foreign nations,
+and by many other strangers whose learning or business occasioned their
+stay in this nation.
+
+Thus it continued with him for about two years, all which time his
+family remained constantly at Mitcham; and to which place he often
+retired himself, and destined some days to a constant study of some
+points of controversy betwixt the English and Roman Church, and
+especially those of Supremacy and Allegiance: and to that place and such
+studies he could willingly have wedded himself during his life; but the
+earnest persuasion of friends became at last to be so powerful, as to
+cause the removal of himself and family to London, where Sir Robert
+Drewry, a gentleman of a very noble estate, and a more liberal mind,
+assigned him and his wife an useful apartment in his own large house in
+Drury Lane, and not only rent free, but was also a cherisher of his
+studies, and such a friend as sympathized with him and his, in all their
+joy and sorrows.
+
+At this time of Mr. Donne's and his wife's living in Sir Robert's house,
+the Lord Hay was, by King James, sent upon a glorious embassy to the
+then French King, Henry the Fourth; and Sir Robert put on a sudden
+resolution to accompany him to the French Court, and to be present at
+his audience there. And Sir Robert put on a sudden resolution to solicit
+Mr. Donne to be his companion in that journey. And this desire was
+suddenly made known to his wife, who was then with child, and otherwise
+under so dangerous a habit of body as to her health, that she professed
+an unwillingness to allow him any absence from her; saying, "Her
+divining soul boded her some ill in his absence;" and therefore desired
+him not to leave her. This made Mr. Donne lay aside all thoughts of the
+journey, and really to resolve against it. But Sir Robert became
+restless in his persuasions for it, and Mr. Donne was so generous as to
+think he had sold his liberty when he received so many charitable
+kindnesses from him, and told his wife so; who did therefore, with an
+unwilling willingness, give a faint consent to the journey, which was
+proposed to be but for two months; for about that time they determined
+their return. Within a few days after this resolve, the Ambassador, Sir
+Robert, and Mr. Donne, left London; and were the twelfth day got all
+safe to Paris. Two days after their arrival there, Mr. Donne was left
+alone in that room in which Sir Robert, and he, and some other friends
+had dined together. To this place Sir Robert returned within half an
+hour; and as he left, so he found, Mr. Donne alone; but in such an
+ecstasy, and so altered as to his looks, as amazed Sir Robert to behold
+him; insomuch that he earnestly desired Mr. Donne to declare what had
+befallen him in the short time of his absence. To which Mr. Donne was
+not able to make a present answer; but, after a long and perplexed
+pause, did at last say, "I have seen a dreadful vision since I saw you:
+I have seen my dear wife pass twice by me through this room, with her
+hair hanging about her shoulders, and a dead child in her arms: this I
+have seen since I saw you." To which Sir Robert replied, "Sure, sir, you
+have slept since I saw you; and this is the result of some melancholy
+dream, which I desire you to forget, for you are now awake." To which
+Mr. Donne's reply was: "I cannot be surer that I now live than that I
+have not slept since I saw you: and am as sure that at her second
+appearing she stopped and looked me in the face, and vanished." Rest and
+sleep had not altered Mr. Donne's opinion the next day: for he then
+affirmed this vision with a more deliberate, and so confirmed a
+confidence, that he inclined Sir Robert to a faint belief that the
+vision was true. It is truly said that desire and doubt have no rest;
+and it proved so with Sir Robert; for he immediately sent a servant to
+Drewry House, with a charge to hasten back and bring him word whether
+Mrs. Donne were alive; and, if alive, in what condition she was as to
+her health. The twelfth day the messenger returned with this
+account:--That he found and left Mrs. Donne very sad and sick in her
+bed; and that, after a long and dangerous labour, she had been delivered
+of a dead child. And, upon examination, the abortion proved to be the
+same day, and about the very hour, that Mr. Donne affirmed he saw her
+pass by him in his chamber.
+
+This is a relation that will beget some wonder, and it well may; for
+most of our world are at present possessed with an opinion that visions
+and miracles are ceased. And, though it is most certain that two lutes,
+being both strung and tuned to an equal pitch, and then one played upon,
+the other that is not touched, being laid upon a table at a fit
+distance, will--like an echo to a trumpet--warble a faint audible
+harmony in answer to the same tune; yet many will not believe there is
+any such thing as a sympathy of souls; and I am well pleased that every
+reader do enjoy his own opinion. But if the unbelieving will not allow
+the believing reader of this story, a liberty to believe that it may be
+true, then I wish him to consider many wise men have believed that the
+ghost of Julius Caesar did appear to Brutus, and that both St. Austin,
+and Monica his mother, had visions in order to his conversion. And
+though these and many others--too many to name--have but the authority
+of human story, yet the incredible reader may find in the sacred story
+(1 Sam. xxviii. 14) that Samuel did appear to Saul even after his
+death--whether really or not, I undertake not to determine. And Bildad,
+in the Book of Job, says these words (iv. 13-16): "A spirit passed
+before my face; the hair of my head stood up; fear and trembling came
+upon me, and made all my bones to shake." Upon which words I will make
+no comment, but leave them to be considered by the incredulous reader;
+to whom I will also commend this following consideration: That there be
+many pious and learned men that believe our merciful God hath assigned
+to every man a particular guardian angel to be his constant monitor,
+and to attend him in all his dangers, both of body and soul. And the
+opinion that every man hath his particular angel may gain some authority
+by the relation of St. Peter's miraculous deliverance out of prison
+(Acts xii. 7-10; 13-15), not by many, but by one angel. And this belief
+may yet gain more credit by the reader's considering, that when Peter
+after his enlargement knocked at the door of Mary the mother of John,
+and Rhode, the maidservant, being surprised with joy that Peter was
+there, did not let him in, but ran in haste and told the disciples, who
+were then and there met together, that Peter was at the door; and they,
+not believing it, said she was mad: yet, when she again affirmed it,
+though they then believed it not, yet they concluded, and said, "It is
+his angel."
+
+More observations of this nature, and inferences from them, might be
+made to gain the relation a firmer belief; but I forbear, lest I, that
+intended to be but a relator, may be thought to be an engaged person for
+the proving what was related to me; and yet I think myself bound to
+declare that, though it was not told me by Mr. Donne himself, it was
+told me--now long since--by a person of honour, and of such intimacy
+with him, that he knew more of the secrets of his soul than any person
+then living: and I think he told me the truth; for it was told with such
+circumstances, and such asseveration, that--to say nothing of my own
+thoughts--I verily believe he that told it me did himself believe it to
+be true.
+
+I return from my account of the vision, to tell the reader, that both
+before Mr. Donne's going into France, at his being there, and after his
+return, many of the nobility and others that were powerful at court,
+were watchful and solicitous to the King for some secular employment for
+him. The King had formerly both known and put a value upon his company,
+and had also given him some hopes of a state-employment; being always
+much pleased when Mr. Donne attended him, especially at his meals, where
+there were usually many deep discourses of general learning, and very
+often friendly disputes, or debates of religion, betwixt his Majesty and
+those divines, whose places required their attendance on him at those
+times: particularly the Dean of the Chapel, who then was Bishop
+Montague--the publisher of the learned and eloquent Works of his
+Majesty--and the most Reverend Doctor Andrews the late learned Bishop of
+Winchester, who was then the King's Almoner.
+
+About this time there grew many disputes, that concerned the Oath of
+Supremacy and Allegiance, in which the King had appeared, and engaged
+himself by his public writings now extant: and his Majesty discoursing
+with Mr. Donne, concerning many of the reasons which are usually urged
+against the taking of those Oaths, apprehended such a validity and
+clearness in his stating the questions, and his answers to them, that
+his Majesty commanded him to bestow some time in drawing the arguments
+into a method, and then to write his answers to them; and, having done
+that, not to send, but be his own messenger, and bring them to him. To
+this he presently and diligently applied himself, and within six weeks
+brought them to him under his own handwriting, as they be now printed;
+the book bearing the name of "Pseudo-Martyr," printed anno 1610.
+
+When the King had read and considered that book, he persuaded Mr. Donne
+to enter into the Ministry; to which, at that time, he was, and
+appeared, very unwilling, apprehending it--such was his mistaken
+modesty--to be too weighty for his abilities.
+
+Such strifes St. Austin had, when St. Ambrose endeavoured his conversion
+to Christianity; with which he confesseth he acquainted his friend
+Alipius. Our learned author--a man fit to write after no mean copy--did
+the like. And declaring his intentions to his dear friend Dr. King, then
+Bishop of London, a man famous in his generation, and no stranger to Mr.
+Donne's abilities--for he had been Chaplain to the Lord Chancellor, at
+the time of Mr. Donne's being his Lordship's Secretary--that reverend
+man did receive the news with much gladness; and, after some expressions
+of joy, and a persuasion to be constant in his pious purpose, he
+proceeded with all convenient speed to ordain him first Deacon, and then
+Priest not long after.
+
+Presently after he entered into his holy profession, the King sent for
+him, and made him his Chaplain in Ordinary, and promised to take a
+particular care for his preferment.
+
+And, though his long familiarity with scholars and persons of greatest
+quality was such, as might have given some men boldness enough to have
+preached to any eminent auditory; yet his modesty in this employment was
+such, that he could not be persuaded to it, but went usually accompanied
+with some one friend to preach privately in some village, not far from
+London; his first sermon being preached at Paddington. This he did, till
+his Majesty sent and appointed him a day to preach to him at Whitehall;
+and, though much were expected from him, both by his Majesty and others,
+yet he was so happy--which few are--as to satisfy and exceed their
+expectations: preaching the Word so, as shewed his own heart was
+possessed with those very thoughts and joys that he laboured to distil
+into others: a preacher in earnest; weeping sometimes for his auditory,
+sometimes with them; always preaching to himself like an angel from a
+cloud, but in none; carrying some, as St. Paul was, to Heaven in holy
+raptures, and enticing others by a sacred art and courtship to amend
+their lives: here picturing a vice so as to make it ugly to those that
+practised it; and a virtue so as to make it beloved, even by those that
+loved it not; and all this with a most particular grace and an
+unexpressible addition of comeliness.
+
+That summer, in the very same month in which he entered into sacred
+Orders, and was made the King's Chaplain, his Majesty then going his
+progress, was entreated to receive an entertainment in the University of
+Cambridge: and Mr. Donne attending his Majesty at that time, his Majesty
+was pleased to recommend him to the University, to be made Doctor in
+Divinity; Doctor Harsnett, after Archbishop of York, was then
+Vice-Chancellor, who, knowing him to be the author of that learned book
+the "Pseudo-Martyr," required no other proof of his abilities, but
+proposed it to the University, who presently assented, and expressed a
+gladness that they had such an occasion to entitle him to be theirs.
+
+His abilities and industry in his profession were so eminent, and he so
+known and so beloved by persons of quality, that within the first year
+of his entering into sacred Orders, he had fourteen advowsons of several
+benefices presented to him: but they were in the country, and he could
+not leave his beloved London, to which place he had a natural
+inclination, having received both his birth and education in it, and
+there contracted a friendship with many, whose conversation multiplied
+the joys of his life; but an employment that might affix him to that
+place would be welcome, for he needed it.
+
+Immediately after his return from Cambridge his wife died, leaving him a
+man of a narrow, unsettled estate, and--having buried five--the careful
+father of seven children then living, to whom he gave a voluntary
+assurance never to bring them under the subjection of a step-mother;
+which promise he kept most faithfully, burying with his tears all his
+earthly joys in his most dear and deserving wife's grave, and betook
+himself to a most retired and solitary life.
+
+In this retiredness, which was often from the sight of his dearest
+friends, he became crucified to the world, and all those vanities, those
+imaginary pleasures, that are daily acted on that restless stage, and
+they were as perfectly crucified to him.
+
+His first motion from his house was to preach where his beloved wife lay
+buried--in St. Clement's Church, near Temple Bar, London; and his text
+was a part of the Prophet Jeremy's Lamentation: "Lo, I am the man that
+have seen affliction."
+
+In this time of sadness he was importuned by the grave Benchers of
+Lincoln's Inn--who were once the companions and friends of his youth--to
+accept of their Lecture, which, by reason of Dr. Gataker's removal from
+thence, was then void; of which he accepted, being most glad to renew
+his intermitted friendship with those whom he so much loved, and where
+he had been a Saul,--though not to persecute Christianity, or to deride
+it, yet in his irregular youth to neglect the visible practice of
+it,--there to become a Paul, and preach salvation to his beloved
+brethren.
+
+About which time the Emperor of Germany died, and the Palsgrave, who had
+lately married the Lady Elizabeth, the King's only daughter, was elected
+and crowned King of Bohemia, the unhappy beginning of many miseries in
+that nation.
+
+King James, whose motto--_Beati pacifici_--did truly speak the very
+thoughts of his heart, endeavoured first to prevent, and after to
+compose, the discords of that discomposed State; and, amongst other his
+endeavours, did then send the Lord Hay, Earl of Doncaster, his
+Ambassador to those unsettled Princes; and, by a special command from
+his Majesty, Dr. Donne was appointed to assist and attend that
+employment to the Princes of the Union, for which the Earl was most
+glad, who had always put a great value on him, and taken a great
+pleasure in his conversation and discourse: and his friends at Lincoln's
+Inn were as glad; for they feared that his immoderate study, and sadness
+for his wife's death, would, as Jacob said, "make his days few," and,
+respecting his bodily health, "evil" too: and of this there were many
+visible signs.
+
+About fourteen months after his departure out of England, he returned to
+his friends of Lincoln's Inn, with his sorrows moderated, and his health
+improved; and there betook himself to his constant course of preaching.
+
+About a year after his return out of Germany, Dr. Carey was made Bishop
+of Exeter, and by his removal, the Deanery of St. Paul's being vacant,
+the King sent to Dr. Donne, and appointed him to attend him at dinner
+the next day. When his Majesty was sat down, before he had eat any meat,
+he said after his pleasant manner, "Dr. Donne, I have invited you to
+dinner; and, though you sit not down with me, yet I will carve to you of
+a dish that I know you love well; for, knowing you love London, I do
+therefore make you Dean of St. Paul's; and, when I have dined, then do
+you take your beloved dish home to your study, say grace there to
+yourself, and much good may it do you."
+
+Immediately after he came to his Deanery, he employed workmen to repair
+and beautify the Chapel; suffering as holy David once vowed, "his eyes
+and temples to take no rest till he had first beautified the house of
+God."
+
+The next quarter following when his father-in-law, Sir George
+More,--whom time had made a lover and admirer of him--came to pay to him
+the conditioned sum of twenty pounds, he refused to receive it; and
+said--as good Jacob did, when he heard his beloved son Joseph was
+alive--"'It is enough;' you have been kind to me and mine: I know your
+present condition is such as not to abound, and I hope mine is, or will
+be such as not to need it: I will therefore receive no more from you
+upon that contract," and in testimony of it freely gave him up his bond.
+
+Immediately after his admission into his Deanery the Vicarage of St.
+Dunstan in the West, London, fell to him by the death of Dr. White, the
+advowson of it having been given to him long before by his honourable
+friend Richard Earl of Dorset, then the patron, and confirmed by his
+brother the late deceased Edward, both of them men of much honour.
+
+By these, and another ecclesiastical endowment which fell to him about
+the same time, given to him formerly by the Earl of Kent, he was enabled
+to become charitable to the poor, and kind to his friends, and to make
+such provision for his children, that they were not left scandalous as
+relating to their or his profession and quality.
+
+The next Parliament, which was within that present year, he was chosen
+Prolocutor to the Convocation, and about that time was appointed by his
+Majesty, his most gracious master, to preach very many occasional
+sermons, as at St. Paul's Cross, and other places. All which employments
+he performed to the admiration of the representative body of the whole
+Clergy of this nation.
+
+He was once, and but once, clouded with the King's displeasure, and it
+was about this time; which was occasioned by some malicious whisperer,
+who had told his Majesty that Dr. Donne had put on the general humour of
+the pulpits, and was become busy in insinuating a fear of the King's
+inclining to popery, and a dislike of his government; and particularly
+for the King's then turning the evening lectures into catechising, and
+expounding the Prayer of our Lord, and of the Belief, and Commandments.
+His Majesty was the more inclinable to believe this, for that a person
+of nobility and great note, betwixt whom and Dr. Donne there had been a
+great friendship, was at this very time discarded the court--I shall
+forbear his name, unless I had a fairer occasion--and justly committed
+to prison; which begot many rumours in the common people, who in this
+nation think they are not wise unless they be busy about what they
+understand not, and especially about religion.
+
+The King received this news with so much discontent and restlessness
+that he would not suffer the sun to set and leave him under this doubt;
+but sent for Dr. Donne, and required his answer to the accusation; which
+was so clear and satisfactory that the King said, "he was right glad he
+rested no longer under the suspicion." When the King had said this, Dr.
+Donne kneeled down, and thanked his Majesty, and protested his answer
+was faithful, and free from all collusion, and therefore "desired that
+he might not rise till, as in like cases, he always had from God, so he
+might have from his Majesty, some assurance that he stood clear and fair
+in his opinion." At which the King raised him from his knees with his
+own hands, and "protested he believed him; and that he knew he was an
+honest man, and doubted not but that he loved him truly." And, having
+thus dismissed him, he called some Lords of his Council into his
+chamber, and said with much earnestness, "My Doctor is an honest man;
+and, my Lords, I was never better satisfied with an answer than he hath
+now made me; and I always rejoice when I think that by my means he
+became a Divine."
+
+He was made Dean in the fiftieth year of his age, and in his
+fifty-fourth year a dangerous sickness seized him, which inclined him to
+a consumption; but God, as Job thankfully acknowledged, preserved his
+spirit, and kept his intellectuals as clear and perfect as when that
+sickness first seized his body; but it continued long, and threatened
+him with death, which he dreaded not.
+
+Within a few days his distempers abated; and as his strength increased
+so did his thankfulness to Almighty God, testified in his most excellent
+"Book of Devotions," which he published at his recovery; in which the
+reader may see the most secret thoughts that then possessed his soul,
+paraphrased and made public: a book that may not unfitly be called a
+Sacred Picture of Spiritual Ecstasies, occasioned and applicable to the
+emergencies of that sickness; which book, being a composition of
+meditations, disquisitions, and prayers, he writ on his sick-bed; herein
+imitating the holy Patriarchs, who were wont to build their altars in
+that place where they had received their blessings.
+
+This sickness brought him so near to the gates of death, and he saw the
+grave so ready to devour him, that he would often say his recovery was
+supernatural: but that God that then restored his health continued it to
+him till the fifty-ninth year of his life: and then, in August 1630,
+being with his eldest daughter, Mrs. Harvey, at Abury Hatch, in Essex,
+he there fell into a fever, which, with the help of his constant
+infirmity--vapours from the spleen--hastened him into so visible a
+consumption that his beholders might say, as St. Paul of himself, "He
+dies daily;" and he might say with Job, "My welfare passeth away as a
+cloud, the days of my affliction have taken hold of me, and weary nights
+are appointed for me."
+
+Reader, this sickness continued long, not only weakening, but wearying
+him so much, that my desire is he may now take some rest; and that
+before I speak of his death thou wilt not think it an impertinent
+digression to look back with me upon some observations of his life,
+which, whilst a gentle slumber gives rest to his spirits, may, I hope,
+not unfitly, exercise thy consideration.
+
+His marriage was the remarkable error of his life; an error which,
+though he had a wit able and very apt to maintain paradoxes, yet he was
+very far from justifying it: and though his wife's competent years, and
+other reasons, might be justly urged to moderate severe censures, yet he
+would occasionally condemn himself for it: and doubtless it had been
+attended with an heavy repentance, if God had not blessed them with so
+mutual and cordial affections, as in the midst of their sufferings made
+their bread of sorrow taste more pleasantly than the banquets of dull
+and low-spirited people.
+
+The recreations of his youth were poetry, in which he was so happy as if
+nature and all her varieties had been made only to exercise his sharp
+wit and high fancy; and in those pieces which were facetiously composed
+and carelessly scattered,--most of them being written before the
+twentieth year of his age--it may appear by his choice metaphors that
+both nature and all the arts joined to assist him with their utmost
+skill.
+
+It is a truth, that in his penitential years, viewing some of those
+pieces that had been loosely--God knows, too loosely--scattered in his
+youth, he wished they had been abortive, or so short-lived that his own
+eyes had witnessed their funerals; but, though he was no friend to them,
+he was not so fallen out with heavenly poetry, as to forsake that; no,
+not in his declining age; witnessed then by many divine sonnets, and
+other high, holy, and harmonious composures. Yea, even on his former
+sick-bed he wrote this heavenly hymn, expressing the great joy that then
+possessed his soul, in the assurance of God's favour to him when he
+composed it:--
+
+ "AN HYMN
+
+ "TO GOD THE FATHER
+
+ "Wilt Thou forgive that sin where I begun,
+ Which was my sin, though it were done before?
+ Wilt Thou forgive that sin through which I run,
+ And do run still, though still I do deplore?
+ When Thou hast done, Thou hast not done,
+ For I have more.
+
+ "Wilt Thou forgive that sin, which I have won
+ Others to sin, and made my sin their door?
+ Wilt Thou forgive that sin which I did shun
+ A year or two:--but wallow'd in a score?
+ When Thou hast done, Thou hast not done,
+ For I have more.
+
+ "I have a sin of fear, that when I've spun
+ My last thread, I shall perish on the shore;
+ But swear by Thyself, that at my death Thy Son
+ Shall shine as He shines now, and heretofore;
+ And having done that, Thou hast done,
+ I fear no more."
+
+I have the rather mentioned this hymn, for that he caused it to be set
+to a most grave and solemn tune, and to be often sung to the organ by
+the choiristers of St. Paul's Church, in his own hearing; especially at
+the Evening Service; and at his return from his customary devotions in
+that place, did occasionally say to a friend, "the words of this hymn
+have restored to me the same thoughts of joy that possessed my soul in
+my sickness, when I composed it. And, O the power of church-music! that
+harmony added to this hymn has raised the affections of my heart, and
+quickened my graces of zeal and gratitude; and I observe that I always
+return from paying this public duty of prayer and praise to God, with an
+unexpressible tranquillity of mind, and a willingness to leave the
+world."
+
+After this manner did the disciples of our Saviour, and the best of
+Christians in those ages of the Church nearest to His time, offer their
+praises to Almighty God. And the reader of St. Augustine's life may
+there find, that towards his dissolution he wept abundantly, that the
+enemies of Christianity had broke in upon them, and profaned and ruined
+their sanctuaries, and because their public hymns and lauds were lost
+out of their Churches. And after this manner have many devout souls
+lifted up their hands and offered acceptable sacrifices unto Almighty
+God, where Dr. Donne offered his, and now lies buried.
+
+But now [1656], Oh Lord! how is that place become desolate!
+
+Before I proceed further, I think fit to inform the reader, that not
+long before his death he caused to be drawn a figure of the Body of
+Christ extended upon an anchor, like those which painters draw, when
+they would present us with the picture of Christ crucified on the cross:
+his varying no otherwise than to affix Him not to a cross, but to an
+anchor--the emblem of Hope;--this he caused to be drawn in little, and
+then many of those figures thus drawn to be engraven very small in
+Heliotropium stones, and set in gold; and of these he sent to many of
+his dearest friends, to be used as seals, or rings, and kept as
+memorials of him, and of his affection to them.
+
+His dear friends and benefactors, Sir Henry Goodier and Sir Robert
+Drewry, could not be of that number; nor could the Lady Magdalen
+Herbert, the mother of George Herbert, for they had put off mortality,
+and taken possession of the grave before him; but Sir Henry Wotton, and
+Dr. Hall, the then--late deceased--Bishop of Norwich, were; and so were
+Dr. Duppa, Bishop of Salisbury, and Dr. Henry King, Bishop of
+Chichester--lately deceased--men, in whom there was such a commixture of
+general learning, of natural eloquence, and Christian humility, that
+they deserve a commemoration by a pen equal to their own, which none
+have exceeded.
+
+And in this enumeration of his friends, though many must be omitted, yet
+that man of primitive piety, Mr. George Herbert, may not; I mean that
+George Herbert, who was the author of "The Temple, or Sacred Poems and
+Ejaculations." A book, in which by declaring his own spiritual
+conflicts, he hath comforted and raised many a dejected and discomposed
+soul, and charmed them into sweet and quiet thoughts; a book, by the
+frequent reading whereof, and the assistance of that Spirit that seemed
+to inspire the author, the reader may attain habits of peace and piety,
+and all the gifts of the Holy Ghost and Heaven: and may, by still
+reading, still keep those sacred fires burning upon the altar of so pure
+a heart, as shall free it from the anxieties of this world, and keep it
+fixed upon things that are above. Betwixt this George Herbert and Dr.
+Donne, there was a long and dear friendship, made up by such a sympathy
+of inclinations that they coveted and joyed to be in each other's
+company; and this happy friendship was still maintained by many sacred
+endearments; of which that which followeth may be some testimony.
+
+ "TO MR. GEORGE HERBERT;
+
+ "SENT HIM WITH ONE OF MY SEALS OF THE ANCHOR AND CHRIST.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ "_A Sheaf of Snakes used
+ heretofore to be my Seal,
+ which is the Crest of our
+ poor family._"
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ "Qui prius assuetus serpentum falce tabellas
+ Signare, haec nostrae symbola parva domus,
+ Adscitus domui Domini----
+
+ "Adopted in God's family, and so
+ My old coat lost, into new Arms I go.
+ The Cross, my Seal in Baptism, spread below,
+ Does by that form into an Anchor grow.
+ Crosses grow Anchors, bear as thou shouldst do
+ Thy Cross, and that Cross grows an Anchor too.
+ But He that makes our Crosses Anchors thus,
+ Is Christ, who there is crucified for us.
+ Yet with this I may my first Serpents hold;--
+ God gives new blessings, and yet leaves the old--
+ The Serpent, may, as wise, my pattern be;
+ My poison, as he feeds on dust, that's me.
+ And, as he rounds the earth to murder, sure
+ He is my death; but on the Cross, my cure,
+ Crucify nature then; and then implore
+ All grace from Him, crucified there before.
+ When all is Cross, and that Cross Anchor grown
+ This Seal's a Catechism, not a Seal alone.
+ Under that little Seal great gifts I send,
+ Both works and pray'rs, pawns and fruits of a friend.
+ O! may that Saint that rides on our Great Seal,
+ To you that bear his name, large bounty deal.
+
+ "John Donne."
+
+
+
+ "IN SACRAM ANCHORAM PISCATORIS
+
+ "GEORGE HERBERT.
+
+ "Quod Crux nequibat fixa clavique additi,--
+ Tenere Christum scilicet ne ascenderet,
+ Tuive Christum--
+
+ "Although the Cross could not here Christ detain,
+ When nail'd unto't, but He ascends again;
+ Nor yet thy eloquence here keep Him still,
+ But only whilst thou speak'st--this Anchor will:
+ Nor canst thou be content, unless thou to
+ This certain Anchor add a Seal; and so
+ The water and the earth both unto thee
+ Do owe the symbol of their certainty.
+ Let the world reel, we and all ours stand sure,
+ This holy cable's from all storms secure.
+
+ "George Herbert."
+
+I return to tell the reader, that, besides these verses to his dear Mr.
+Herbert, and that Hymn that I mentioned to be sung in the choir of St.
+Paul's Church, he did also shorten and beguile many sad hours by
+composing other sacred ditties; and he writ an Hymn on his death-bed,
+which bears this title:--
+
+ "AN HYMN TO GOD, MY GOD, IN MY SICKNESS.
+
+ "_March 23, 1630._
+
+ "Since I am coming to that holy room,
+ Where, with Thy Choir of Saints, for evermore
+ I shall be made Thy music, as I come
+ I tune my instrument here at the door,
+ And, what I must do then, think here before.
+
+ "Since my Physicians by their loves are grown
+ Cosmographers; and I their map, who lie
+ Flat on this bed----
+
+ "So, in His purple wrapt, receive my Lord!
+ By these His thorns, give me His other Crown
+ And, as to other souls I preach'd Thy word,
+ Be this my text, my sermon to mine own,
+ 'That He may raise; therefore the Lord throws down.'"
+
+If these fall under the censure of a soul, whose too much mixture with
+earth makes it unfit to judge of these high raptures and illuminations,
+let him know, that many holy and devout men have thought the soul of
+Prudentius to be most refined, when, not many days before his death, "he
+charged it to present his God each morning and evening with a new and
+spiritual song;" justified by the example of King David and the good
+King Hezekiah, who, upon the renovation of his years paid his thankful
+vows to Almighty God in a royal hymn, which he concludes in these words:
+"The Lord was ready to save; therefore I will sing my songs to the
+stringed instruments all the days of my life in the Temple of my God."
+
+The latter part of his life may be said to be a continued study; for as
+he usually preached once a week, if not oftener, so after his sermon he
+never gave his eyes rest, till he had chosen out a new text, and that
+night cast his sermon into a form, and his text into divisions; and the
+next day betook himself to consult the Fathers, and so commit his
+meditations to his memory, which was excellent. But upon Saturday he
+usually gave himself and his mind a rest from the weary burthen of his
+week's meditations, and usually spent that day in visitation of friends,
+or some other diversions of his thoughts; and would say, "that he gave
+both his body and mind that refreshment, that he might be enabled to do
+the work of the day following, not faintly, but with courage and
+cheerfulness."
+
+Nor was his age only so industrious, but in the most unsettled days of
+his youth, his bed was not able to detain him beyond the hour of four in
+a morning; and it was no common business that drew him out of his
+chamber till past ten; all which time was employed in study; though he
+took great liberty after it. And if this seem strange, it may gain a
+belief by the visible fruits of his labours; some of which remain as
+testimonies of what is here written: for he left the resultance of 1400
+authors, most of them abridged and analysed with his own hand: he left
+also six score of his sermons, all written with his own hand, also an
+exact and laborious Treatise concerning self-murder, called Biathanatos;
+wherein all the laws violated by that act are diligently surveyed, and
+judiciously censured: a Treatise written in his younger days, which
+alone might declare him then not only perfect in the Civil and Canon
+Law, but in many other such studies and arguments, as enter not into the
+consideration of many that labour to be thought great clerks, and
+pretend to know all things.
+
+Nor were these only found in his study, but all businesses that passed
+of any public consequence, either in this or any of our
+neighbour-nations, he abbreviated either in Latin, or in the language of
+that nation, and kept them by him for useful memorials. So he did the
+copies of divers Letters and Cases of Conscience that had concerned his
+friends, with his observations and solutions of them; and divers other
+businesses of importance, all particularly and methodically digested by
+himself.
+
+He did prepare to leave the world before life left him; making his Will
+when no faculty of his soul was damped or made defective by pain or
+sickness, or he surprised by a sudden apprehension of death: but it was
+made with mature deliberation, expressing himself an impartial father,
+by making his children's portions equal; and a lover of his friends,
+whom he remembered with legacies fitly and discreetly chosen and
+bequeathed. I cannot forbear a nomination of some of them; for methinks
+they be persons that seem to challenge a recordation in this place; as
+namely, to his brother-in-law, Sir Thomas Grimes, he gave that striking
+clock, which he had long worn in his pocket; to his dear friend and
+executor, Dr. King--late Bishop of Chichester--that Model of Gold of the
+Synod of Dort, with which the States presented him at his last being at
+the Hague; and the two pictures of Padre Paolo and Fulgentio, men of his
+acquaintance when he travelled Italy, and of great note in that nation
+for their remarkable learning.--To his ancient friend Dr. Brook--that
+married him--Master of Trinity College in Cambridge, he gave the picture
+of the Blessed Virgin and Joseph.--To Dr. Winniff who succeeded him in
+the Deanery--he gave a picture called the Skeleton.--To the succeeding
+Dean, who was not then known, he gave many necessaries of worth, and
+useful for his house; and also several pictures and ornaments for the
+Chapel, with a desire that they might be registered, and remain as a
+legacy to his successors.--To the Earls of Dorset and Carlisle he gave
+several pictures; and so he did to many other friends; legacies, given
+rather to express his affection, than to make any addition to their
+estates: but unto the poor he was full of charity, and unto many others,
+who, by his constant and long continued bounty, might entitle themselves
+to be his alms-people: for all these he made provision, and so largely,
+as, having then six children living, might to some appear more than
+proportionable to his estate. I forbear to mention any more, lest the
+reader may think I trespass upon his patience: but I will beg his
+favour, to present him with the beginning and end of his Will.
+
+ "In the name of the blessed and glorious Trinity. Amen. I John
+ Donne, by the mercy of Christ Jesus, and by the calling of the
+ Church of England, Priest, being at this time in good health and
+ perfect understanding--praised be God therefore--do hereby make my
+ last Will and Testament in manner and form following:--
+
+ "First, I give my gracious God an entire sacrifice of body and
+ soul, with my most humble thanks for that assurance which His
+ Blessed Spirit imprints in me now of the Salvation of the one, and
+ the Resurrection of the other; and for that constant and cheerful
+ resolution, which the same Spirit hath established in me, to live
+ and die in the religion now professed in the Church of England. In
+ expectation of that Resurrection, I desire my body may be
+ buried--in the most private manner that may be--in that place of
+ St. Paul's Church, London, that the now Residentiaries have at my
+ request designed for that purpose, &c.--And this my last Will and
+ Testament, made in the fear of God,--whose mercy I humbly beg, and
+ constantly rely upon in Jesus Christ--and in perfect love and
+ charity with all the world--whose pardon I ask, from the lowest of
+ my servants, to the highest of my superiors--written all with my
+ own hand, and my name subscribed to every page, of which there are
+ five in number.
+
+ "Sealed December 13, 1630."
+
+Nor was this blessed sacrifice of charity expressed only at his death,
+but in his life also, by a cheerful and frequent visitation of any
+friend whose mind was dejected, or his fortune necessitous; he was
+inquisitive after the wants of prisoners, and redeemed many from prison,
+that lay for their fees or small debts: he was a continual giver to poor
+scholars, both of this and foreign nations. Besides what he gave with
+his own hand, he usually sent a servant, or a discreet and trusty
+friend, to distribute his charity to all the prisons in London, at all
+the festival times of the year, especially at the Birth and Resurrection
+of our Saviour. He gave an hundred pounds at one time to an old friend,
+whom he had known live plentifully, and by a too liberal heart and
+carelessness became decayed in his estate; and when the receiving of it
+was denied, by the gentleman's saying, "He wanted not;"--for the reader
+may note, that as there be some spirits so generous as to labour to
+conceal and endure a sad poverty, rather than expose themselves to those
+blushes that attend the confession of it; so there be others, to whom
+nature and grace have afforded such sweet and compassionate souls, as to
+pity and prevent the distresses of mankind;--which I have mentioned
+because of Dr. Donne's reply, whose answer was, "I know you want not
+what will sustain nature; for a little will do that; but my desire is,
+that you, who in the days of your plenty have cheered and raised the
+hearts of so many of your dejected friends, would now receive this from
+me, and use it as a cordial for the cheering of your own:" and upon
+these terms it was received. He was an happy reconciler of many
+differences in the families of his friends and kindred,--which he never
+undertook faintly; for such undertakings have usually faint effects--and
+they had such a faith in his judgment and impartiality, that he never
+advised them to any thing in vain. He was, even to her death, a most
+dutiful son to his mother, careful to provide for her supportation, of
+which she had been destitute, but that God raised him up to prevent her
+necessities; who having sucked in the religion of the Roman Church with
+the mother's milk, spent her estate in foreign countries, to enjoy a
+liberty in it, and died in his house but three months before him.
+
+And to the end it may appear how just a steward he was of his Lord and
+Master's revenue, I have thought fit to let the reader know, that after
+his entrance into his Deanery, as he numbered his years, he, at the foot
+of a private account, to which God and His Angels were only witnesses
+with him,--computed first his revenue, then what was given to the poor,
+and other pious uses; and lastly, what rested for him and his; and
+having done that, he then blessed each year's poor remainder with a
+thankful prayer; which, for that they discover a more than common
+devotion, the reader shall partake some of them in his own words:--
+
+So all is that remains this year [1624-5]--
+
+"Deo Opt. Max. benigno largitori, a me, at ab iis quibus haec a me
+reservantur, gloria et gratia in aeternum. Amen."
+
+TRANSLATED THUS.
+
+To God all Good, all Great, the benevolent Bestower, by me and by them,
+for whom, by me, these sums are laid up, be glory and grace ascribed for
+ever. Amen.
+
+So that this year, [1626,] God hath blessed me and mine with--
+
+"Multiplicatae sunt super nos misericordiae tuae, Domine."
+
+TRANSLATED THUS.
+
+Thy mercies, Oh Lord! are multiplied upon us.
+
+"Da, Domine, ut quae ex immensa bonitate tua nobis elargiri dignatus sis,
+in quorumcunque manus devenerint, in tuam semper cedant gloriam. Amen."
+
+TRANSLATED THUS.
+
+Grant, Oh Lord! that what out of Thine infinite bounty Thou hast
+vouchsafed to lavish upon us, into whosoever hands it may devolve, may
+always be improved to thy glory. Amen.
+
+"In fine horum sex annorum manet [1627-8-9]--
+
+"Quid habeo quod non accepi a Domino? Largitur etiam ut quae largitus est
+sua iterum fiant, bono eorum usu; ut quemadmodum nec officiis hujus
+mundi, nec loci in quo me posuit dignitati, nec servis, nec egenis, in
+toto hujus anni curriculo mihi conscius sum me defuisse; ita et liberi,
+quibus quae supersunt, supersunt, grato animo ea accipiant, et beneficum
+authorem recognoscant. Amen."
+
+TRANSLATED THUS.
+
+At the end of these six years remains--
+
+What have I, which I have not received from the Lord? He bestows, also,
+to the intent that what He hath bestowed may revert to Him by the proper
+use of it: that, as I have not consciously been wanting to myself during
+the whole course of the past year, either in discharging my secular
+duties, in retaining the dignity of my station, or in my conduct towards
+my servants and the poor--so my children for whom remains whatever is
+remaining, may receive it with gratitude, and acknowledge the beneficent
+Giver. Amen.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+But I return from my long digression.
+
+We left the Author sick in Essex, where he was forced to spend much of
+that winter, by reason of his disability to remove from that place; and
+having never, for almost twenty years, omitted his personal attendance
+on his Majesty in that month, in which he was to attend and preach to
+him; nor having ever been left out of the roll and number of Lent
+Preachers, and there being then--in January, 1630--a report brought to
+London, or raised there, that Dr. Donne was dead; that report gave him
+occasion to write the following letter to a dear friend:--
+
+ "Sir,
+
+ "This advantage you and my other friends have by my frequent
+ fevers, that I am so much the oftener at the gates of Heaven; and
+ this advantage by the solitude and close imprisonment that they
+ reduce me to after, that I am so much the oftener at my prayers, in
+ which I shall never leave out your happiness; and I doubt not,
+ among His other blessings, God will add some one to you for my
+ prayers. A man would almost be content to die--if there were no
+ other benefit in death--to hear of so much sorrow, and so much good
+ testimony from good men, as I--God be blessed for it--did upon the
+ report of my death; yet I perceive it went not through all; for one
+ writ to me, that some--and he said of my friends--conceived I was
+ not so ill as I pretended, but withdrew myself to live at ease,
+ discharged of preaching. It is an unfriendly, and, God knows, an
+ ill-grounded interpretation; for I have always been sorrier when I
+ could not preach, than any could be they could not hear me. It hath
+ been my desire, and God may be pleased to grant it, that I might
+ die in the pulpit; if not that, yet that I might take my death in
+ the pulpit; that is, die the sooner by occasion of those labours.
+ Sir, I hope to see you presently after Candlemas; about which time
+ will fall my Lent Sermon at Court, except my Lord Chamberlain
+ believe me to be dead, and so leave me out of the roll: but as long
+ as I live, and am not speechless, I would not willingly, decline
+ that service. I have better leisure to write, than you to read; yet
+ I would not willingly oppress you with too much letter. God so
+ bless you and your son, as I wish to
+
+ "Your poor friend and Servant
+ "In Christ Jesus,
+ "J. Donne."
+
+
+Before that month ended, he was appointed to preach upon his old
+constant day, the first Friday in Lent: he had notice of it, and had in
+his sickness so prepared for that employment, that as he had long
+thirsted for it, so he resolved his weakness should not hinder his
+journey; he came therefore to London some few days before his appointed
+day of preaching. At his coming thither, many of his friends--who with
+sorrow saw his sickness had left him but so much flesh as did only cover
+his bones--doubted his strength to perform that task, and did therefore
+dissuade him from undertaking it, assuring him, however, it was like to
+shorten his life: but he passionately denied their requests, saying "he
+would not doubt that that God, who in so many weaknesses had assisted
+him with an unexpected strength, would now withdraw it in his last
+employment; professing an holy ambition to perform that sacred work."
+And when, to the amazement of some beholders, he appeared in the pulpit,
+many of them thought he presented himself not to preach mortification by
+a living voice, but mortality by a decayed body, and a dying face. And
+doubtless many did secretly ask that question in Ezekiel (chap. xxxvii.
+3), "Do these bones live? or, can that soul organise that tongue, to
+speak so long time as the sand in that glass will move towards its
+centre, and measure out an hour of this dying man's unspent life?
+Doubtless it cannot." And yet, after some faint pauses in his zealous
+prayer, his strong desires enabled his weak body to discharge his memory
+of his preconceived meditations, which were of dying; the text being,
+"To God the Lord belong the issues from death." Many that then saw his
+tears, and heard his faint and hollow voice, professing they thought the
+text prophetically chosen, and that Dr. Donne had preached his own
+Funeral Sermon.
+
+Being full of joy that God had enabled him to perform this desired duty,
+he hastened to his house; out of which he never moved, till, like St.
+Stephen, "he was carried by devout men to his grave."
+
+The next day after his sermon, his strength being much wasted, and his
+spirits so spent as indisposed him to business or to talk, a friend that
+had often been a witness of his free and facetious discourse asked him,
+"Why are you sad?" To whom he replied with a countenance so full of
+cheerful gravity, as gave testimony of an inward tranquillity of mind,
+and of a soul willing to take a farewell of this world, and said:--
+
+ "I am not sad; but most of the night past I have entertained myself
+ with many thoughts of several friends that have left me here, and
+ are gone to that place from which they shall not return; and that
+ within a few days I also shall go hence, and be no more seen. And
+ my preparation for this change is become my nightly meditation upon
+ my bed, which my infirmities have now made restless to me. But at
+ this present time, I was in a serious contemplation of the
+ providence and goodness of God to me; to me, who am less than the
+ least of His mercies: and looking back upon my life past, I now
+ plainly see it was His hand that prevented me from all temporal
+ employment; and that it was His will I should never settle nor
+ thrive till I entered into the Ministry; in which I have now lived
+ almost twenty years--I hope to His glory,--and by which, I most
+ humbly thank Him, I have been enabled to requite most of those
+ friends which shewed me kindness when my fortune was very low, as
+ God knows it was: and--as it hath occasioned the expression of my
+ gratitude--I thank God most of them have stood in need of my
+ requital. I have lived to be useful and comfortable to my good
+ Father-in-law, Sir George More, whose patience God hath been
+ pleased to exercise with many temporal crosses; I have maintained
+ my own mother, whom it hath pleased God, after a plentiful fortune
+ in her younger days, to bring to great decay in her very old age. I
+ have quieted the consciences of many, that have groaned under the
+ burden of a wounded spirit, whose prayers I hope are available for
+ me. I cannot plead innocency of life, especially of my youth; but I
+ am to be judged by a merciful God, who is not willing to see what I
+ have done amiss. And though of myself I have nothing to present to
+ Him but sins and misery, yet I know He looks not upon me now as I
+ am of myself, but as I am in my Saviour, and hath given me, even at
+ this present time, some testimonies by His Holy Spirit, that I am
+ of the number of His Elect: I am therefore full of inexpressible
+ joy, and shall die in peace."
+
+I must here look so far back, as to tell the reader that at his first
+return out of Essex, to preach his last sermon, his old friend and
+physician, Dr. Fox--a man of great worth--came to him to consult his
+health; and that after a sight of him, and some queries concerning his
+distempers he told him, "That by cordials, and drinking milk twenty days
+together, there was a probability of his restoration to health"; but he
+passionately denied to drink it. Nevertheless, Dr. Fox, who loved him
+most entirely, wearied him with solicitations, till he yielded to take
+it for ten days; at the end of which time he told Dr. Fox, "He had drunk
+it more to satisfy him, than to recover his health; and that he would
+not drink it ten days longer, upon the best moral assurance of having
+twenty years added to his life; for he loved it not; and was so far from
+fearing Death, which to others is the King of Terrors, that he longed
+for the day of his dissolution."
+
+It is observed, that a desire of glory or commendation is rooted in the
+very nature of man; and that those of the severest and most mortified
+lives, though they may become so humble as to banish self-flattery, and
+such weeds as naturally grow there; yet they have not been able to kill
+this desire of glory, but that like our radical heat, it will both live
+and die with us; and many think it should do so; and we want not sacred
+examples to justify the desire of having our memory to outlive our
+lives; which I mention, because Dr. Donne, by the persuasion of Dr. Fox,
+easily yielded at this very time to have a monument made for him; but
+Dr. Fox undertook not to persuade him how, or what monument it should
+be; that was left to Dr. Donne himself.
+
+A monument being resolved upon, Dr. Donne sent for a carver to make for
+him in wood the figure of an urn, giving him directions for the compass
+and height of it; and to bring with it a board, of the just height of
+his body. "These being got, then without delay a choice painter was got
+to be in readiness to draw his picture, which was taken as
+followeth.--Several charcoal fires being first made in his large study,
+he brought with him into that place his winding-sheet in his hand, and
+having put off all his clothes, had this sheet put on him, and so tied
+with knots at his head and feet, and his hands so placed as dead bodies
+are usually fitted, to be shrouded and put into their coffin, or grave.
+Upon this urn he thus stood, with his eyes shut, and with so much of the
+sheet turned aside as might shew his lean, pale, and death-like face,
+which was purposely turned towards the East, from whence he expected the
+second coming of his and our Saviour Jesus." In this posture he was
+drawn at his just height; and when the picture was fully finished, he
+caused it to be set by his bedside, where it continued and became his
+hourly object till his death, and was then given to his dearest friend
+and executor Dr. Henry King, then chief Residentiary of St. Paul's, who
+caused him to be thus carved in one entire piece of white marble, as it
+now stands in that Church; and by Dr. Donne's own appointment, these
+words were to be affixed to it as an epitaph:--
+
+ JOHANNES DONNE
+
+ SAC. THEOL. PROFESS. POST VARIA STUDIA, QUIBUS AB ANNIS TENERRIMIS
+ FIDELITER, NEC INFELICITER INCUBUIT; INSTINCTU ET IMPULSU SP.
+ SANCTI, MONITU ET HORTATU REGIS JACOBI, ORDINES SACROS AMPLEXUS,
+ ANNO SUI JESU, MDCXIV. ET SUAE AETATIS XLII. DECANATU HUJUS ECCLESIAE
+ INDUTUS, XXVII. NOVEMBRIS, MDCXXI. EXUTUS MORTE ULTIMO DIE MARTII,
+ MDCXXXI. HIC LICET IN OCCIDUO CINERE, ASPICIT EUM CUJUS NOMEN EST
+ ORIENS.
+
+And now, having brought him through the many labyrinths and perplexities
+of a various life, even to the gates of death and the grave; my desire
+is, he may rest, till I have told my reader that I have seen many
+pictures of him, in several habits, and at several ages, and in several
+postures: and I now mention this because I have seen one picture of him,
+drawn by a curious hand, at his age of eighteen, with his sword, and
+what other adornments might then suit with the present fashions of youth
+and the giddy gaieties of that age; and his motto then was--
+
+ "How much shall I be changed
+ Before I am changed!"
+
+And if that young, and his now dying picture were at this time set
+together, every beholder might say, "Lord! how much is Dr. Donne already
+changed, before he is changed!" And the view of them might give my
+reader occasion to ask himself with some amazement, "Lord! how much may
+I also, that am now in health, be changed before I am changed; before
+this vile, this changeable body shall put off mortality!" and therefore
+to prepare for it.--But this is not writ so much for my reader's
+memento, as to tell him, that Dr. Donne would often in his private
+discourses, and often publicly in his sermons, mention the many changes
+both of his body and mind, especially of his mind from a vertiginous
+giddiness; and would as often say, "His great and most blessed change
+was from a temporal to a spiritual employment"; in which he was so
+happy, that he accounted the former part of his life to be lost; and the
+beginning of it to be, from his first entering into Sacred Orders, and
+serving his most merciful God at His altar.
+
+Upon Monday, after the drawing this picture, he took his last leave of
+his beloved study; and, being sensible of his hourly decay, retired
+himself to his bedchamber; and that week sent at several times for many
+of his most considerable friends, with whom he took a solemn and
+deliberate farewell, commending to their considerations some sentences
+useful for the regulation of their lives; and then dismissed them, as
+good Jacob did his sons, with a spiritual benediction. The Sunday
+following, he appointed his servants, that if there were any business
+yet undone, that concerned him or themselves, it should be prepared
+against Saturday next; for after that day he would not mix his thoughts
+with any thing that concerned this world; nor ever did; but, as Job, so
+he "waited for the appointed day of his dissolution."
+
+And now he was so happy as to have nothing to do but to die, to do which
+he stood in need of no longer time; for he had studied it long, and to
+so happy a perfection, that in a former sickness he called God to
+witness (in his "Book of Devotions," written then), "He was that minute
+ready to deliver his soul into his Hands, if that minute God would
+determine his dissolution." In that sickness he begged of God the
+constancy to be preserved in that estate for ever; and his patient
+expectation to have his immortal soul disrobed from her garment of
+mortality, makes me confident that he now had a modest assurance that
+his prayers were then heard, and his petition granted. He lay fifteen
+days earnestly expecting his hourly change; and in the last hour of his
+last day, as his body melted away, and vapoured into spirit, his soul
+having, I verily believe, some revelation of the beatifical vision, he
+said, "I were miserable if I might not die"; and after those words,
+closed many periods of his faint breath by saying often, "Thy kingdom
+come, Thy will be done." His speech, which had long been his ready and
+faithful servant, left him not till the last minute of his life, and
+then forsook him, not to serve another master--for who speaks like
+him,--but died before him; for that it was then become useless to him,
+that now conversed with God on earth as Angels are said to do in heaven,
+only by thoughts and looks. Being speechless, and seeing heaven by that
+illumination by which he saw it, he did, as St. Stephen, "look
+stedfastly into it, till he saw the Son of Man standing at the right
+hand of God His Father"; and being satisfied with this blessed sight, as
+his soul ascended, and his last breath departed from him, he closed his
+own eyes, and then disposed his hands and body into such a posture, as
+required not the least alteration by those that came to shroud him.
+
+Thus variable, thus virtuous was the life; thus excellent, thus
+exemplary was the death of this memorable man.
+
+He was buried in that place of St. Paul's Church, which he had appointed
+for that use some years before his death; and by which he passed daily
+to pay his public devotions to Almighty God--who was then served twice a
+day by a public form of prayer and praises in that place; but he was
+not buried privately, though he desired it; for, beside an unnumbered
+number of others, many persons of nobility, and of eminence for
+learning, who did love and honour him in his life, did show it at his
+death, by a voluntary and sad attendance of his body to the grave, where
+nothing was so remarkable as a public sorrow.
+
+To which place of his burial some mournful friends repaired, and, as
+Alexander the Great did to the grave of the famous Achilles, so they
+strewed his with an abundance of curious and costly flowers; which
+course they--who were never yet known--continued morning and evening for
+many days, not ceasing till the stones that were taken up in that Church
+to give his body admission into the cold earth--now his bed of
+rest--were again by the mason's art so levelled and firmed as they had
+been formerly, and his place of burial undistinguishable to common view.
+
+The next day after his burial some unknown friend, some one of the many
+lovers and admirers of his virtue and learning, writ this epitaph with a
+coal on the wall over his grave:--
+
+ "Reader! I am to let thee know,
+ Donne's body only lies below;
+ For, could the grave his soul comprise,
+ Earth would be richer than the skies!"
+
+Nor was this all the honour done to his reverend ashes; for, as there be
+some persons that will not receive a reward for that for which God
+accounts Himself a debtor; persons that dare trust God with their
+charity, and without a witness; so there was by some grateful unknown
+friend, that thought Dr. Donne's memory ought to be perpetuated, an
+hundred marks sent to his faithful friends and executors (Dr. King and
+Dr. Montford), towards the making of his monument. It was not for many
+years known by whom; but, after the death of Dr. Fox, it was known that
+it was he that sent it; and he lived to see as lively a representation
+of his dead friend as marble can express: a statue indeed so like Dr.
+Donne, that--as his friend Sir Henry Wotton hath expressed himself--"It
+seems to breathe faintly, and posterity shall look upon it as a kind of
+artificial miracle."
+
+He was of stature moderately tall; of a straight and
+equally-proportioned body, to which all his words and actions gave an
+unexpressible addition of comeliness.
+
+The melancholy and pleasant humour were in him so contempered, that each
+gave advantage to the other, and made his company one of the delights of
+mankind.
+
+His fancy was unimitably high, equalled only by his great wit; both
+being made useful by a commanding judgment.
+
+His aspect was cheerful, and such as gave a silent testimony of a clear
+knowing soul, and of a conscience at peace with itself.
+
+His melting eye showed that he had a soft heart, full of noble
+compassion; of too brave a soul to offer injuries, and too much a
+Christian not to pardon them in others.
+
+He did much contemplate--especially after he entered into his sacred
+calling--the mercies of Almighty God, the immortality of the soul, and
+the joys of heaven: and would often say in a kind of sacred
+ecstacy--"Blessed be God that He is God, only and divinely like
+Himself."
+
+He was by nature highly passionate, but more apt to reluct at the
+excesses of it. A great lover of the offices of humanity, and of so
+merciful a spirit that he never beheld the miseries of mankind without
+pity and relief.
+
+He was earnest and unwearied in the search of knowledge, with which his
+vigorous soul is now satisfied, and employed in a continual praise of
+that God that first breathed it into his active body: that body which
+once was a temple of the Holy Ghost, and is now become a small quantity
+of Christian dust:--
+
+But I shall see it re-animated.
+
+I.W.
+
+
+
+
+ DEVOTIONS
+ VPON
+ Emergent Occasions and seuerall
+ steps in my Sicknes.
+
+
+Digested into
+
+ 1. MEDITATIONS _upon our Humane Condition_.
+
+ 2. EXPOSTULATIONS, _and Debatements with God_.
+
+ 3. PRAYERS, _upon the severall occasions, to him_.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+By IOHN DONNE, _Deane of S. Pauls_, London.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+London
+
+Printed by _A. M._ for THOMAS IONES. 1624.
+
+
+
+
+_TO THE MOST EXCELLENT PRINCE_,
+
+PRINCE CHARLES.
+
+
+_MOST EXCELLENT PRINCE_,
+
+I have had three births; one, natural, when I came into the world; one,
+supernatural, when I entered into the ministry; and now, a preternatural
+birth, in returning to life, from this sickness. In my second birth,
+your Highness' royal father vouchsafed me his hand, not only to sustain
+me in it, but to lead me to it. In this last birth, I myself am born a
+father: this child of mine, this book, comes into the world, from me,
+and with me. And therefore, I presume (as I did the father, to the
+Father) to present the son to the Son; this image of my humiliation, to
+the lively image of his Majesty, your Highness. It might be enough, that
+God hath seen my devotions: but examples of good kings are commandments;
+and Hezekiah writ the meditations of his sickness, after his sickness.
+Besides, as I have lived to see (not as a witness only, but as a
+partaker), the happiness of a part of your royal father's time, so shall
+I live (in my way) to see the happiness of the times of your Highness
+too, if this child of mine, inanimated by your gracious acceptation, may
+so long preserve alive the memory of
+
+Your Highness humblest and devotedest,
+
+JOHN DONNE.
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS
+
+_The Stations of the Sickness_
+
+
+ PAGE
+
+1. The first alteration, the first grudging of the sickness 7
+
+2. The strength and the function of the senses, and other
+ faculties, change and fail 12
+
+3. The patient takes his bed 17
+
+4. The physician is sent for 23
+
+5. The physician comes 30
+
+6. The physician is afraid 35
+
+7. The physician desires to have others joined with him 43
+
+8. The king sends his own physician 50
+
+9. Upon their consultation, they prescribe 56
+
+10. They find the disease to steal on insensibly, and endeavor
+ to meet with it so 63
+
+11. They use cordials, to keep the venom and the malignity
+ of the disease from the heart 69
+
+12. They apply pigeons, to draw the vapours from the head 77
+
+13. The sickness declares the infection and malignity thereof
+ by spots 83
+
+14. The Physicians observe these accidents to have fallen
+ upon the critical days 88
+
+15. I sleep not day or night 96
+
+16. From the bells of the church adjoining, I am daily
+ remembered of my burial in the funerals of others 102
+
+17. Now, this bell tolling softly for another, says to me,
+ Thou must die 107
+
+18. The bell rings out, and tells me in him, that I am dead 114
+
+19. At last the physicians, after a long and stormy voyage,
+ see land: They have so good signs of the concoction of
+ the disease, as that they may safely proceed to purge 122
+
+20. Upon these indications of digested matter, they proceed
+ to purge 131
+
+21. God prospers their practice, and he, by them, calls
+ Lazarus out of his tomb, me out of my bed 138
+
+22. The physicians consider the root and occasion, the
+ embers, and coals, and fuel of the disease, and seek
+ to purge or correct that 145
+
+23. They warn me of the fearful danger of relapsing 152
+
+
+
+
+_DEVOTIONS_
+
+I
+
+INSULTUS MORBI PRIMUS.
+
+_The first Alteration, the first Grudging, of the Sickness._
+
+
+I. MEDITATION.
+
+Variable, and therefore miserable condition of man! this minute I was
+well, and am ill, this minute. I am surprised with a sudden change, and
+alteration to worse, and can impute it to no cause, nor call it by any
+name. We study health, and we deliberate upon our meats, and drink, and
+air, and exercises, and we hew and we polish every stone that goes to
+that building; and so our health is a long and a regular work: but in a
+minute a cannon batters all, overthrows all, demolishes all; a sickness
+unprevented for all our diligence, unsuspected for all our curiosity;
+nay, undeserved, if we consider only disorder, summons us, seizes us,
+possesses us, destroys us in an instant. O miserable condition of man!
+which was not imprinted by God, who, as he is immortal himself, had put
+a coal, a beam of immortality into us, which we might have blown into a
+flame, but blew it out by our first sin; we beggared ourselves by
+hearkening after false riches, and infatuated ourselves by hearkening
+after false knowledge. So that now, we do not only die, but die upon the
+rack, die by the torment of sickness; nor that only, but are
+pre-afflicted, super-afflicted with these jealousies and suspicions and
+apprehensions of sickness, before we can call it a sickness: we are not
+sure we are ill; one hand asks the other by the pulse, and our eye asks
+our own urine how we do. O multiplied misery! we die, and cannot enjoy
+death, because we die in this torment of sickness; we are tormented with
+sickness, and cannot stay till the torment come, but pre-apprehensions
+and presages prophesy those torments which induce that death before
+either come; and our dissolution is conceived in these first changes,
+quickened in the sickness itself, and born in death, which bears date
+from these first changes. Is this the honour which man hath by being a
+little world, that he hath these earthquakes in himself, sudden
+shakings; these lightnings, sudden flashes; these thunders, sudden
+noises; these eclipses, sudden offuscations and darkening of his senses;
+these blazing stars, sudden fiery exhalations; these rivers of blood,
+sudden red waters? Is he a world to himself only therefore, that he hath
+enough in himself, not only to destroy and execute himself, but to
+presage that execution upon himself; to assist the sickness, to antedate
+the sickness, to make the sickness the more irremediable by sad
+apprehensions, and, as if he would make a fire the more vehement by
+sprinkling water upon the coals, so to wrap a hot fever in cold
+melancholy, lest the fever alone should not destroy fast enough without
+this contribution, nor perfect the work (which is destruction) except we
+joined an artificial sickness of our own melancholy, to our natural, our
+unnatural fever. O perplexed discomposition, O riddling distemper, O
+miserable condition of man!
+
+
+I. EXPOSTULATION.
+
+If I were but mere dust and ashes I might speak unto the Lord, for the
+Lord's hand made me of this dust, and the Lord's hand shall re-collect
+these ashes; the Lord's hand was the wheel upon which this vessel of
+clay was framed, and the Lord's hand is the urn in which these ashes
+shall be preserved. I am the dust and the ashes of the temple of the
+Holy Ghost, and what marble is so precious? But I am more than dust and
+ashes: I am my best part, I am my soul. And being so, the breath of God,
+I may breathe back these pious expostulations to my God: My God, my God,
+why is not my soul as sensible as my body? Why hath not my soul these
+apprehensions, these presages, these changes, these antidates, these
+jealousies, these suspicions of a sin, as well as my body of a sickness?
+Why is there not always a pulse in my soul to beat at the approach of a
+temptation to sin? Why are there not always waters in mine eyes, to
+testify my spiritual sickness? I stand in the way of temptations,
+naturally, necessarily; all men do so; for there is a snake in every
+path, temptations in every vocation; but I go, I run, I fly into the
+ways of temptation which I might shun; nay, I break into houses where
+the plague is; I press into places of temptation, and tempt the devil
+himself, and solicit and importune them who had rather be left
+unsolicited by me. I fall sick of sin, and am bedded and bedrid, buried
+and putrified in the practice of sin, and all this while have no
+presage, no pulse, no sense of my sickness. O height, O depth of misery,
+where the first symptom of the sickness is hell, and where I never see
+the fever of lust, of envy, of ambition, by any other light than the
+darkness and horror of hell itself, and where the first messenger that
+speaks to me doth not say, "Thou mayest die," no, nor "Thou must die,"
+but "Thou art dead;" and where the first notice that my soul hath of her
+sickness is irrecoverableness, irremediableness: but, O my God, Job did
+not charge thee foolishly in his temporal afflictions, nor may I in my
+spiritual. Thou hast imprinted a pulse in our soul, but we do not
+examine it; a voice in our conscience, but we do not hearken unto it. We
+talk it out, we jest it out, we drink it out, we sleep it out; and when
+we wake, we do not say with Jacob, _Surely the Lord is in this place,
+and I knew it not_: but though we might know it, we do not, we will not.
+But will God pretend to make a watch, and leave out the spring? to make
+so many various wheels in the faculties of the soul, and in the organs
+of the body, and leave out grace, that should move them? or will God
+make a spring, and not wind it up? Infuse his first grace, and not
+second it with more, without which we can no more use his first grace
+when we have it, than we could dispose ourselves by nature to have it?
+But alas, that is not our case; we are all prodigal sons, and not
+disinherited; we have received our portion, and mispent it, not been
+denied it. We are God's tenants here, and yet here, he, our landlord,
+pays us rents; not yearly, nor quarterly, but hourly, and quarterly;
+every minute he renews his mercy, but we _will not understand, lest that
+we should be converted, and he should heal us_.[1]
+
+
+I. PRAYER.
+
+O eternal and most gracious God, who, considered in thyself, art a
+circle, first and last, and altogether; but, considered in thy working
+upon us, art a direct line, and leadest us from our beginning, through
+all our ways, to our end, enable me by thy grace to look forward to mine
+end, and to look backward too, to the considerations of thy mercies
+afforded me from the beginning; that so by that practice of considering
+thy mercy, in my beginning in this world, when thou plantedst me in the
+Christian church, and thy mercy in the beginning in the other world,
+when thou writest me in the book of life, in my election, I may come to
+a holy consideration of thy mercy in the beginning of all my actions
+here: that in all the beginnings, in all the accesses and approaches, of
+spiritual sicknesses of sin, I may hear and hearken to that voice, _O
+thou man of God, there is death in the pot_,[2] and so refrain from that
+which I was so hungerly, so greedily flying to. _A faithful ambassador
+is health_,[3] says thy wise servant Solomon. Thy voice received in the
+beginning of a sickness, of a sin, is true health. If I can see that
+light betimes, and hear that voice early, _Then shall my light break
+forth as the morning, and my health shall spring forth speedily_.[4]
+Deliver me therefore, O my God, from these vain imaginations; that it is
+an over-curious thing, a dangerous thing, to come to that tenderness,
+that rawness, that scrupulousness, to fear every concupiscence, every
+offer of sin, that this suspicious and jealous diligence will turn to an
+inordinate dejection of spirit, and a diffidence in thy care and
+providence; but keep me still established, both in a constant
+assurance, that thou wilt speak to me at the beginning of every such
+sickness, at the approach of every such sin; and that, if I take
+knowledge of that voice then, and fly to thee, thou wilt preserve me
+from falling, or raise me again, when by natural infirmity I am fallen.
+Do this, O Lord, for his sake, who knows our natural infirmities, for he
+had them, and knows the weight of our sins, for he paid a dear price for
+them, thy Son, our Saviour, Christ Jesus. Amen.
+
+
+II. POST ACTIO LAESA.
+
+_The Strength and the function of the senses, and other faculties,
+change and fail._
+
+
+II. MEDITATION.
+
+The heavens are not the less constant, because they move continually,
+because they move continually one and the same way. The earth is not the
+more constant, because it lies still continually, because continually it
+changes and melts in all the parts thereof. Man, who is the noblest part
+of the earth, melts so away, as if he were a statue, not of earth, but
+of snow. We see his own envy melts him, he grows lean with that; he will
+say, another's beauty melts him; but he feels that a fever doth not melt
+him like snow, but pour him out like lead, like iron, like brass melted
+in a furnace; it doth not only melt him, but calcine him, reduce him to
+atoms, and to ashes; not to water, but to lime. And how quickly? Sooner
+than thou canst receive an answer, sooner than thou canst conceive the
+question; earth is the centre of my body, heaven is the centre of my
+soul; these two are the natural places of these two; but those go not
+to these two in an equal pace: my body falls down without pushing; my
+soul does not go up without pulling; ascension is my soul's pace and
+measure, but precipitation my body's. And even angels, whose home is
+heaven, and who are winged too, yet had a ladder to go to heaven by
+steps. The sun which goes so many miles in a minute, the stars of the
+firmament which go so very many more, go not so fast as my body to the
+earth. In the same instant that I feel the first attempt of the disease,
+I feel the victory; in the twinkling of an eye I can scarce see;
+instantly the taste is insipid and fatuous; instantly the appetite is
+dull and desireless; instantly the knees are sinking and strengthless;
+and in an instant, sleep, which is the picture, the copy of death, is
+taken away, that the original, death itself, may succeed, and that so I
+might have death to the life. It was part of Adam's punishment, _In the
+sweat of thy brows thou shalt eat thy bread_: it is multiplied to me, I
+have earned bread in the sweat of my brows, in the labour of my calling,
+and I have it; and I sweat again and again, from the brow to the sole of
+the foot, but I eat no bread, I taste no sustenance: miserable
+distribution of mankind, where one half lacks meat, and the other
+stomach!
+
+
+II. EXPOSTULATION.
+
+David professes himself a dead dog to his king Saul,[5] and so doth
+Mephibosheth to his king David,[6] and yet David speaks to Saul, and
+Mephibosheth to David. No man is so little, in respect of the greatest
+man, as the greatest in respect of God; for here, in that, we have not
+so much as a measure to try it by; proportion is no measure for
+infinity. He that hath no more of this world but a grave; he that hath
+his grave but lent him till a better man or another man must be buried
+in the same grave; he that hath no grave but a dunghill, he that hath no
+more earth but that which he carries, but that which he is, he that hath
+not that earth which he is, but even in that is another's slave, hath as
+much proportion to God, as if all David's worthies, and all the world's
+monarchs, and all imagination's giants, were kneaded and incorporated
+into one, and as though that one were the survivor of all the sons of
+men, to whom God had given the world. And therefore how little soever I
+be, as _God calls things that are not, as though they were_, I, who am
+as though I were not, may call upon God, and say, My God, my God, why
+comes thine anger so fast upon me? Why dost thou melt me, scatter me,
+pour me like water upon the ground so instantly? Thou stayedst for the
+first world, in Noah's time, one hundred and twenty years; thou stayedst
+for a rebellious generation in the wilderness forty years, wilt thou
+stay no minute for me? Wilt thou make thy process and thy decree, thy
+citation and thy judgment, but one act? Thy summons, thy battle, thy
+victory, thy triumph, all but one act; and lead me captive, nay, deliver
+me captive to death, as soon as thou declarest me to be enemy, and so
+cut me off even with the drawing of thy sword out of the scabbard, and
+for that question, How long was he sick? leave no other answer, but that
+the hand of death pressed upon him from the first minute? My God, my
+God, thou wast not wont to come in whirlwinds, but in soft and gentle
+air. Thy first breath breathed a soul into me, and shall thy breath blow
+it out? Thy breath in the congregation, thy word in the church, breathes
+communion and consolation here, and consummation hereafter; shall thy
+breath in this chamber breathe dissolution and destruction, divorce and
+separation? Surely it is not thou, it is not thy hand. The devouring
+sword, the consuming fire, the winds from the wilderness, the diseases
+of the body, all that afflicted Job, were from the hands of Satan; it is
+not thou. It is thou, thou my God, who hast led me so continually with
+thy hand, from the hand of my nurse, as that I know thou wilt not
+correct me, but with thine own hand. My parents would not give me over
+to a servant's correction, nor my God to Satan's. I am _fallen into the
+hands of God_ with David, and with David I see that his mercies are
+great.[7] For by that mercy, I consider in my present state, not the
+haste and the despatch of the disease, in dissolving this body, so much
+as the much more haste and despatch, which my God shall use, in
+re-collecting and re-uniting this dust again at the resurrection. Then I
+shall hear his angels proclaim the _Surgite mortui_, Rise, ye dead.
+Though I be dead, I shall hear the voice; the sounding of the voice and
+the working of the voice shall be all one; and all shall rise there in a
+less minute than any one dies here.
+
+
+II. PRAYER.
+
+O most gracious God, who pursuest and perfectest thine own purposes, and
+dost not only remember me, by the first accesses of this sickness, that
+I must die, but inform me, by this further proceeding therein, that I
+may die now; who hast not only waked me with the first, but called me
+up, by casting me further down, and clothed me with thyself, by
+stripping me of my self, and by dulling my bodily senses to the meats
+and eases of this world, hast whet and sharpened my spiritual senses to
+the apprehension of thee; by what steps and degrees soever it shall
+please thee to go, in the dissolution of this body, hasten, O Lord, that
+pace, and multiply, O my God, those degrees, in the exaltation of my
+soul toward thee now, and to thee then. My taste is not gone away, but
+gone up to sit at David's table, _to taste, and see, that the Lord is
+good_.[8] My stomach is not gone, but gone up, so far upwards toward the
+_supper of the Lamb_, with thy saints in heaven, as to the table, to the
+communion of thy saints here in earth. My knees are weak, but weak
+therefore that I should easily fall to and fix myself long upon my
+devotions to thee. _A sound heart is the life of the flesh_;[9] and a
+heart visited by thee, and directed to thee, by that visitation is a
+sound heart. _There is no soundness in my flesh, because of thine
+anger._[10] Interpret thine own work, and call this sickness correction,
+and not anger, and there is soundness in my flesh. _There is no rest in
+my bones, because of my sin_;[11] transfer my sins, with which thou art
+so displeased, upon him with whom thou art so well pleased, Christ
+Jesus, and there will be rest in my bones. And, O my God, who madest
+thyself a light in a bush, in the midst of these brambles and thorns of
+a sharp sickness, appear unto me so that I may see thee, and know thee
+to be my God, applying thyself to me, even in these sharp and thorny
+passages. Do this, O Lord, for his sake, who was not the less the King
+of heaven for thy suffering him to be crowned with thorns in this world.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[1] Matt. xiii. 15.
+
+[2] 2 Kings, iv. 40.
+
+[3] Prov. xiii. 17.
+
+[4] Isaiah, lviii. 8.
+
+[5] 1 Sam. xxiv. 15.
+
+[6] 2 Sam. ix. 8.
+
+[7] 2 Sam. xxiv. 14.
+
+[8] Psalm xxxiv. 8.
+
+[9] Prov. xiv. 30.
+
+[10] Psalm xxxviii. 3.
+
+[11] Psalm xxxviii. 3.
+
+
+
+
+III. DECUBITUS SEQUITUR TANDEM.
+
+_The patient takes his bed._
+
+
+III. MEDITATION.
+
+We attribute but one privilege and advantage to man's body above other
+moving creatures, that he is not, as others, grovelling, but of an
+erect, of an upright, form naturally built and disposed to the
+contemplation of heaven. Indeed it is a thankful form, and recompenses
+that soul, which gives it, with carrying that soul so many feet higher
+towards heaven. Other creatures look to the earth; and even that is no
+unfit object, no unfit contemplation for man, for thither he must come;
+but because man is not to stay there, as other creatures are, man in his
+natural form is carried to the contemplation of that place which is his
+home, heaven. This is man's prerogative; but what state hath he in this
+dignity? A fever can fillip him down, a fever can depose him; a fever
+can bring that head, which yesterday carried a crown of gold five feet
+towards a crown of glory, as low as his own foot to-day. When God came
+to breathe into man the breath of life, he found him flat upon the
+ground; when he comes to withdraw that breath from him again, he
+prepares him to it by laying him flat upon his bed. Scarce any prison so
+close that affords not the prisoner two or three steps. The anchorites
+that barked themselves up in hollow trees and immured themselves in
+hollow walls, that perverse man that barrelled himself in a tub, all
+could stand or sit, and enjoy some change of posture. A sick bed is a
+grave, and all that the patient says there is but a varying of his own
+epitaph. Every night's bed is a type of the grave; at night we tell our
+servants at what hour we will rise, here we cannot tell ourselves at
+what day, what week, what month. Here the head lies as low as the foot;
+the head of the people as low as they whom those feet trod upon; and
+that hand that signed pardons is too weak to beg his own, if he might
+have it for lifting up that hand. Strange fetters to the feet, strange
+manacles to the hands, when the feet and hands are bound so much the
+faster, by how much the cords are slacker; so much the less able to do
+their offices, by how much more the sinews and ligaments are the looser.
+In the grave I may speak through the stones, in the voice of my friends,
+and in the accents of those words which their love may afford my memory;
+here I am mine own ghost, and rather affright my beholders than instruct
+them; they conceive the worst of me now, and yet fear worse; they give
+me for dead now, and yet wonder how I do when they wake at midnight, and
+ask how I do to-morrow. Miserable, and (though common to all) inhuman
+posture, where I must practise my lying in the grave by lying still, and
+not practise my resurrection by rising any more.
+
+
+III. EXPOSTULATION.
+
+My God and my Jesus, my Lord and my Christ, my strength and my
+salvation, I hear thee, and I hearken to thee, when thou rebukest thy
+disciples, for rebuking them who brought children to thee; _Suffer
+little children to come to me_, sayest thou.[12] Is there a verier child
+than I am now? I cannot say, with thy servant Jeremy, _Lord, I am a
+child, and cannot speak_; but, O Lord, I am a sucking child, and cannot
+eat; a creeping child, and cannot go; how shall I come to thee? Whither
+shall I come to thee? To this bed? I have this weak and childish
+frowardness too, I cannot sit up, and yet am loth to go to bed. Shall I
+find thee in bed? Oh, have I always done so? The bed is not ordinarily
+thy scene, thy climate: Lord, dost thou not accuse me, dost thou not
+reproach to me my former sins, when thou layest me upon this bed? Is not
+this to hang a man at his own door, to lay him sick in his own bed of
+wantonness? When thou chidest us by thy prophet for lying in _beds of
+ivory_[13], is not thine anger vented; not till thou changest our beds
+of ivory into beds of ebony? David swears unto thee, _that he will not
+go up into his bed, till he had built thee a house_.[14] To go up into
+the bed denotes strength, and promises ease; but when thou sayest, _that
+thou wilt cast Jezebel into a bed_, thou makest thine own comment upon
+that; thou callest the bed tribulation, great tribulation.[15] How shall
+they come to thee whom thou hast nailed to their bed? Thou art in the
+congregation, and I in a solitude: when the centurion's servant lay sick
+at home,[16] his master was fain to come to Christ; the sick man could
+not. Their friend lay sick of the palsy, and the four charitable men
+were fain to bring him to Christ; he could not come.[17] Peter's wife's
+mother lay sick of a fever, and Christ came to her; she could not come
+to him.[18] My friends may carry me home to thee, in their prayers in
+the congregation; thou must come home to me in the visitation of thy
+Spirit, and in the seal of thy sacrament. But when I am cast into this
+bed my slack sinews are iron fetters, and those thin sheets iron doors
+upon me; and, _Lord, I have loved the habitation of thine house, and the
+place where thine honour dwelleth_.[19] I lie here and say, _Blessed are
+they that dwell in thy house_;[20] but I cannot say, _I will come into
+thy house_; I may say, _In thy fear will I worship towards thy holy
+temple_;[21] but I cannot say in thy holy temple. And, _Lord, the zeal
+of thy house eats me up_,[22] as fast as my fever; it is not a
+recusancy, for I would come, but it is an excommunication, I must not.
+But, Lord, thou art Lord of hosts, and lovest action; why callest thou
+me from my calling? _In the grave no man shall praise thee_; in the door
+of the grave, this sick bed, no man shall hear me praise thee. Thou hast
+not opened my lips that my mouth might show thee thy praise, but that my
+mouth might show forth thy praise. But thine apostle's fear takes hold
+of me, _that when I have preached to others, I myself should be a
+castaway_;[23] and therefore am I cast down, that I might not be cast
+away. Thou couldst take me by the head, as thou didst Habbakuk, and
+carry me so; by a chariot, as thou didst Elijah,[24] and carry me so;
+but thou carriest me thine own private way, the way by which thou
+carriedst thy Son, who first lay upon the earth and prayed, and then had
+his exaltation, as himself calls his crucifying; and first descended
+into hell, and then had his ascension. There is another station (indeed
+neither are stations but prostrations) lower than this bed; to-morrow I
+may be laid one story lower, upon the floor, the face of the earth; and
+next day another story, in the grave, the womb of the earth. As yet God
+suspends me between heaven and earth, as a meteor; and I am not in
+heaven because an earthly body clogs me, and I am not in the earth
+because a heavenly soul sustains me. And it is thine own law, O God,
+that _if a man be smitten so by another, as that he keep his bed, though
+he die not, he that hurt him must take care of his healing, and
+recompense him_[25]. Thy hand strikes me into this bed; and therefore,
+if I rise again, thou wilt be my recompense all the days of my life, in
+making the memory of this sickness beneficial to me; and if my body fall
+yet lower, thou wilt take my soul out of this bath, and present it to
+thy Father, washed again, and again, and again, in thine own tears, in
+thine own sweat, in thine own blood.
+
+
+III. PRAYER.
+
+O most mighty and most merciful God, who, though thou have taken me off
+of my feet, hast not taken me off of my foundation, which is thyself;
+who, though thou have removed me from that upright form in which I could
+stand and see thy throne, the heavens, yet hast not removed from me that
+light by which I can lie and see thyself; who, though thou have weakened
+my bodily knees, that they cannot bow to thee, hast yet left me the
+knees of my heart; which are bowed unto thee evermore; as thou hast made
+this bed thine altar, make me thy sacrifice; and as thou makest thy Son
+Christ Jesus the priest, so make me his deacon, to minister to him in a
+cheerful surrender of my body and soul to thy pleasure, by his hands. I
+come unto thee, O God, my God, I come unto thee, so as I can come, I
+come to thee, by embracing thy coming to me, I come in the confidence,
+and in the application of thy servant David's promise, _that thou wilt
+make all my bed in my sickness_;[26] all my bed; that which way soever I
+turn, I may turn to thee; and as I feel thy hand upon all my body, so I
+may find it upon all my bed, and see all my corrections, and all my
+refreshings to flow from one and the same, and all from thy hand. As
+thou hast made these feathers thorns, in the sharpness of this sickness,
+so, Lord, make these thorns feathers again, feathers of thy dove, in the
+peace of conscience, and in a holy recourse to thine ark, to the
+instruments of true comfort, in thy institutions and in the ordinances
+of thy church. Forget my bed, O Lord, as it hath been a bed of sloth,
+and worse than sloth; take me not, O Lord, at this advantage, to terrify
+my soul with saying, Now I have met thee there where thou hast so often
+departed from me; but having burnt up that bed by these vehement heats,
+and washed that bed in these abundant sweats, make my bed again, O Lord,
+and enable me, according to thy command, _to commune with mine own heart
+upon my bed, and be still_[27]; to provide a bed for all my former sins
+whilst I lie upon this bed, and a grave for my sins before I come to my
+grave; and when I have deposited them in the wounds of thy Son, to rest
+in that assurance, that my conscience is discharged from further
+anxiety, and my soul from further danger, and my memory from further
+calumny. Do this, O Lord, for his sake, who did and suffered so much,
+that thou mightest, as well in thy justice as in thy mercy, do it for
+me, thy Son, our Saviour, Christ Jesus.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[12] Matt. xix. 13.
+
+[13] Amos, vi. 4.
+
+[14] Psalm cxxxii. 3.
+
+[15] Rev. ii. 22.
+
+[16] Matt. viii. 6.
+
+[17] Matt. viii. 4.
+
+[18] Matt. viii. 14.
+
+[19] Psalm xxvi. 8.
+
+[20] Psalm lxxxiv. 4.
+
+[21] Psalm v. 7.
+
+[22] Psalm lxix. 9.
+
+[23] 1 Cor. ix. 27.
+
+[24] 2 Kings, ii. 11.
+
+[25] Exodus, xxi. 18.
+
+[26] Psalm xli. 3.
+
+[27] Psalm iv. 4.
+
+
+
+
+IV. MEDICUSQUE VOCATUR.
+
+_The physician is sent for._
+
+
+IV. MEDITATION.
+
+It is too little to call man a little world; except God, man is a
+diminutive to nothing. Man consists of more pieces, more parts, than the
+world; than the world doth, nay, than the world is. And if those pieces
+were extended, and stretched out in man as they are in the world, man
+would be the giant, and the world the dwarf; the world but the map, and
+the man the world. If all the veins in our bodies were extended to
+rivers, and all the sinews to veins of mines, and all the muscles that
+lie upon one another, to hills, and all the bones to quarries of stones,
+and all the other pieces to the proportion of those which correspond to
+them in the world, the air would be too little for this orb of man to
+move in, the firmament would be but enough for this star; for, as the
+whole world hath nothing, to which something in man doth not answer, so
+hath man many pieces of which the whole world hath no representation.
+Enlarge this meditation upon this great world, man, so far as to
+consider the immensity of the creatures this world produces; our
+creatures are our thoughts, creatures that are born giants; that reach
+from east to west, from earth to heaven; that do not only bestride all
+the sea and land, but span the sun and firmament at once; my thoughts
+reach all, comprehend all. Inexplicable mystery; I their creator am in a
+close prison, in a sick bed, any where, and any one of my creatures, my
+thoughts, is with the sun, and beyond the sun, overtakes the sun, and
+overgoes the sun in one pace, one step, everywhere. And then, as the
+other world produces serpents and vipers, malignant and venomous
+creatures, and worms and caterpillars, that endeavour to devour that
+world which produces them, and monsters compiled and complicated of
+divers parents and kinds; so this world, ourselves, produces all these
+in us, in producing diseases, and sicknesses of all those sorts:
+venomous and infectious diseases, feeding and consuming diseases, and
+manifold and entangled diseases made up of many several ones. And can
+the other world name so many venomous, so many consuming, so many
+monstrous creatures, as we can diseases of all these kinds? O miserable
+abundance, O beggarly riches! how much do we lack of having remedies for
+every disease, when as yet we have not names for them? But we have a
+Hercules against these giants, these monsters; that is, the physician;
+he musters up all the forces of the other world to succour this, all
+nature to relieve man. We have the physician, but we are not the
+physician. Here we shrink in our proportion, sink in our dignity, in
+respect of very mean creatures, who are physicians to themselves. The
+hart that is pursued and wounded, they say, knows an herb, which being
+eaten throws off the arrow: a strange kind of vomit. The dog that
+pursues it, though he be subject to sickness, even proverbially, knows
+his grass that recovers him. And it may be true, that the drugger is as
+near to man as to other creatures; it may be that obvious and present
+simples, easy to be had, would cure him; but the apothecary is not so
+near him, nor the physician so near him, as they two are to other
+creatures; man hath not that innate instinct, to apply those natural
+medicines to his present danger, as those inferior creatures have; he is
+not his own apothecary, his own physician, as they are. Call back
+therefore thy meditation again, and bring it down: what's become of
+man's great extent and proportion, when himself shrinks himself and
+consumes himself to a handful of dust; what's become of his soaring
+thoughts, his compassing thoughts, when himself brings himself to the
+ignorance, to the thoughtlessness, of the grave? His diseases are his
+own, but the physician is not; he hath them at home, but he must send
+for the physician.
+
+
+IV. EXPOSTULATION.
+
+I have not the righteousness of Job, but I have the desire of Job: _I
+would speak to the Almighty, and I would reason with God_.[28] My God,
+my God, how soon wouldst thou have me go to the physician, and how far
+wouldst thou have me go with the physician? I know thou hast made the
+matter, and the man, and the art; and I go not from thee when I go to
+the physician. Thou didst not make clothes before there was a shame of
+the nakedness of the body, but thou didst make physic before there was
+any grudging of any sickness; for thou didst imprint a medicinal virtue
+in many simples, even from the beginning; didst thou mean that we should
+be sick when thou didst so? when thou madest them? No more than thou
+didst mean, that we should sin, when thou madest us: thou foresawest
+both, but causedst neither. Thou, Lord, promisest here trees, _whose
+fruit shall be for meat, and their leaves for medicine_.[29] It is the
+voice of thy Son, _Wilt thou be made whole?_[30] that draws from the
+patient a confession that he was ill, and could not make himself well.
+And it is thine own voice, _Is there no physician?_[31] that inclines
+us, disposes us, to accept thine ordinance. And it is the voice of the
+wise man, both for the matter, physic itself, _The Lord hath created
+medicines out of the earth, and he that is wise shall not abhor
+them_,[32] and for the art, and the person, the physician cutteth off a
+long disease. In all these voices thou sendest us to those helps which
+thou hast afforded us in that. But wilt not thou avow that voice too,
+_He that hath sinned against his Maker, let him fall into the hands of
+the physician_;[33] and wilt not thou afford me an understanding of
+those words? Thou, who sendest us for a blessing to the physician, dost
+not make it a curse to us to go when thou sendest. Is not the curse
+rather in this, that only he falls into the hands of the physician, that
+casts himself wholly, entirely upon the physician, confides in him,
+relies upon him, attends all from him, and neglects that spiritual
+physic which thou also hast instituted in thy church. So to fall into
+the hands of the physician is a sin, and a punishment of former sins;
+so, as Asa fell, who in his disease _sought not to the Lord, but to the
+physician_.[34] Reveal therefore to me thy method, O Lord, and see
+whether I have followed it; that thou mayest have glory, if I have, and
+I pardon, if I have not, and help that I may. Thy method is, _In time of
+thy sickness, be not negligent_: wherein wilt thou have my diligence
+expressed? _Pray unto the Lord, and he will make thee whole._[35] O
+Lord, I do; I pray, and pray thy servant David's prayer, _Have mercy
+upon me, O Lord, for I am weak; heal me, O Lord, for my bones are
+vexed_:[36] I know that even my weakness is a reason, a motive, to
+induce thy mercy, and my sickness an occasion of thy sending health.
+When art thou so ready, when is it so seasonable to thee, to
+commiserate, as in misery? But is prayer for health in season, as soon
+as I am sick? Thy method goes further: _Leave off from sin, and order
+thy hands aright, and cleanse thy heart from all wickedness_.[37] Have
+I, O Lord, done so? O Lord, I have; by thy grace, I am come to a holy
+detestation of my former sin. Is there any more? In thy method there is
+more: _Give a sweet savour, and a memorial of fine flour, and make a fat
+offering, as not being_.[38] And, Lord, by thy grace, I have done that,
+sacrificed a little of that little which thou lentest me, to them for
+whom thou lentest it: and now in thy method, and by thy steps, I am come
+to that, _Then give place to the physician, for the Lord hath created
+him; let him not go from thee, for thou hast need of him_.[39] I send
+for the physician, but I will hear him enter with those words of Peter,
+_Jesus Christ maketh thee whole_;[40] I long for his presence, but I
+look _that the power of the Lord should be present to heal me_.[41]
+
+
+IV. PRAYER.
+
+O most mighty and most merciful God, who art so the God of health and
+strength, as that without thee all health is but the fuel, and all
+strength but the bellows of sin; behold me under the vehemence of two
+diseases, and under the necessity of two physicians, authorized by thee,
+the bodily, and the spiritual physician. I come to both as to thine
+ordinance, and bless and glorify thy name that, in both cases, thou hast
+afforded help to man by the ministry of man. Even in the new Jerusalem,
+in heaven itself, it hath pleased thee to discover a tree, which is _a
+tree of life there, but the leaves thereof are for the healing of the
+nations_.[42] Life itself is with thee there, for thou art life; and all
+kinds of health, wrought upon us here by thine instruments, descend from
+thence. _Thou wouldst have healed Babylon, but she is not healed._[43]
+Take from me, O Lord, her perverseness, her wilfulness, her
+refractoriness, and hear thy Spirit saying in my soul: Heal me, O Lord,
+for I would be healed. _Ephraim saw his sickness, and Judah his wound;
+then went Ephraim to the Assyrian, and sent to King Jareb, yet could not
+he heal you, nor cure you of your wound._[44] Keep me back, O Lord, from
+them who misprofess arts of healing the soul, or of the body, by means
+not imprinted by thee in the church for the soul, or not in nature for
+the body. There is no spiritual health to be had by superstition, nor
+bodily by witchcraft; thou, Lord, and only thou, art Lord of both. Thou
+in thyself art Lord of both, and thou in thy Son art the physician, the
+applier of both. _With his stripes we are healed_,[45] says the prophet
+there; there, before he was scourged, we were healed with his stripes;
+how much more shall I be healed now, now when that which he hath already
+suffered actually is actually and effectually applied to me? Is there
+any thing incurable, upon which that balm drops? Any vein so empty as
+that that blood cannot fill it? Thou promisest to heal the earth;[46]
+but it is when the inhabitants of the earth _pray that thou wouldst heal
+it_. Thou promisest to heal their waters, but _their miry places and
+standing waters_, thou sayest there, _thou wilt not heal_.[47] My
+returning to any sin, if I should return to the ability of sinning over
+all my sins again, thou wouldst not pardon. Heal this earth, O my God,
+by repentant tears, and heal these waters, these tears, from all
+bitterness, from all diffidence, from all dejection, by establishing my
+irremovable assurance in thee. _Thy Son went about healing all manner of
+sickness._[48] (No disease incurable, none difficult; he healed them in
+passing). _Virtue went out of him, and he healed all_,[49] all the
+multitude (no person incurable), he healed them _every whit_[50] (as
+himself speaks), he left no relics of the disease; and will this
+universal physician pass by this hospital, and not visit me? not heal
+me? not heal me wholly? Lord, I look not that thou shouldst say by thy
+messenger to me, as to Hezekiah, _Behold, I will heal thee, and on the
+third day thou shalt go up to the house of the Lord_.[51] I look not
+that thou shouldst say to me, as to Moses in Miriam's behalf, when Moses
+would have had her healed presently, _If her father had but spit in her
+face, should she not have been ashamed seven days? Let her be shut up
+seven days, and then return_;[52] but if thou be pleased to multiply
+seven days (and seven is infinite) by the number of my sins (and that is
+more infinite), if this day must remove me till days shall be no more,
+seal to me my spiritual health, in affording me the seals of thy church;
+and for my temporal health, prosper thine ordinance, in their hands who
+shall assist in this sickness, in that manner, and in that measure, as
+may most glorify thee, and most edify those who observe the issues of
+thy servants, to their own spiritual benefit.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[28] Job, xiii. 3.
+
+[29] Ezek. xlvii. 12.
+
+[30] John, v. 6.
+
+[31] Jer. viii. 22.
+
+[32] Ecclus. xxxviii. 4.
+
+[33] Ecclus. xxxviii. 15.
+
+[34] 1 Chron. xvi. 12.
+
+[35] Ecclus. xxxviii. 9.
+
+[36] Psalm vi. 2.
+
+[37] Ecclus. xxxviii. 10.
+
+[38] Ecclus. xxxviii. 11.
+
+[39] Ecclus. xxxviii. 12.
+
+[40] Acts, ix. 34.
+
+[41] Luke, v. 17.
+
+[42] Rev. xxii. 2.
+
+[43] Jer. li. 9.
+
+[44] Hosea, v. 13.
+
+[45] Isaiah, liii. 5.
+
+[46] 2 Chron. vii. 14.
+
+[47] Ezek. xlvii. 11.
+
+[48] Matt. iv. 23.
+
+[49] Luke, vi. 19.
+
+[50] John, vii. 23.
+
+[51] 2 Kings, xx. 5.
+
+[52] Num. xii. 14.
+
+
+
+
+V. SOLUS ADEST.
+
+_The physician comes_
+
+
+V. MEDITATION.
+
+As sickness is the greatest misery, so the greatest misery of sickness
+is solitude; when the infectiousness of the disease deters them who
+should assist from coming; even the physician dares scarce come.
+Solitude is a torment which is not threatened in hell itself. Mere
+vacuity, the first agent, God, the first instrument of God, nature, will
+not admit; nothing can be utterly empty, but so near a degree towards
+vacuity as solitude, to be but one, they love not. When I am dead, and
+my body might infect, they have a remedy, they may bury me; but when I
+am but sick, and might infect, they have no remedy but their absence,
+and my solitude. It is an excuse to them that are great, and pretend,
+and yet are loath to come; it is an inhibition to those who would truly
+come, because they may be made instruments, and pestiducts, to the
+infection of others, by their coming. And it is an outlawry, an
+excommunication upon the patient, and separates him from all offices,
+not only of civility but of working charity. A long sickness will weary
+friends at last, but a pestilential sickness averts them from the
+beginning. God himself would admit a figure of society, as there is a
+plurality of persons in God, though there be but one God; and all his
+external actions testify a love of society, and communion. In heaven
+there are orders of angels, and armies of martyrs, and in that house
+many mansions; in earth, families, cities, churches, colleges, all
+plural things; and lest either of these should not be company enough
+alone, there is an association of both, a communion of saints which
+makes the militant and triumphant church one parish; so that Christ was
+not out of his diocess when he was upon the earth, nor out of his temple
+when he was in our flesh. God, who saw that all that he made was good,
+came not so near seeing a defect in any of his works, as when he saw
+that it was not good for man to be alone, therefore he made him a
+helper; and one that should help him so as to increase the number, and
+give him her own, and more society. Angels, who do not propagate nor
+multiply, were made at first in an abundant number, and so were stars;
+but for the things of this world, their blessing was, Increase; for I
+think, I need not ask leave to think, that there is no phoenix;
+nothing singular, nothing alone. Men that inhere upon nature only, are
+so far from thinking that there is any thing singular in this world, as
+that they will scarce think that this world itself is singular, but that
+every planet, and every star, is another world like this; they find
+reason to conceive not only a plurality in every species in the world,
+but a plurality of worlds; so that the abhorrers of solitude are not
+solitary, for God, and Nature, and Reason concur against it. Now a man
+may counterfeit the plague in a vow, and mistake a disease for religion,
+by such a retiring and recluding of himself from all men as to do good
+to no man, to converse with no man. God hath two testaments, two wills;
+but this is a schedule, and not of his, a codicil, and not of his, not
+in the body of his testaments, but interlined and postscribed by others,
+that the way to the communion of saints should be by such a solitude as
+excludes all doing of good here. That is a disease of the mind, as the
+height of an infectious disease of the body is solitude, to be left
+alone: for this makes an infectious bed equal, nay, worse than a grave,
+that though in both I be equally alone, in my bed I know it, and feel
+it, and shall not in my grave: and this too, that in my bed my soul is
+still in an infectious body, and shall not in my grave be so.
+
+
+V. EXPOSTULATION.
+
+O God, my God, thy Son took it not ill at Martha's hands, that when he
+said unto her, _Thy brother Lazarus shall rise again_,[53] she
+expostulated it so far with him as to reply, _I know that he shall rise
+again in the resurrection, at the last day_; for she was miserable by
+wanting him then. Take it not ill, O my God, from me, that though thou
+have ordained it for a blessing, and for a dignity to thy people, _that
+they should dwell alone, and not be reckoned among the nations_[54]
+(because they should be above them), and that _they should dwell in
+safety alone_[55] (free from the infestation of enemies), yet I take thy
+leave to remember thee, that thou hast said too, _Two are better than
+one_; and, _Woe be unto him that is alone when he falleth_;[56] and so
+when he is fallen, and laid in the bed of sickness too. _Righteousness
+is immortal_;[57] I know thy wisdom hath said so; but no man, though
+covered with the righteousness of thy Son, is immortal so as not to die;
+for he who was righteousness itself did die. I know that the Son of
+Righteousness, thy Son, refused not, nay affected, solitariness,
+loneness,[58] many, many times; but at all times he was able to command
+_more than twelve legions of angels_[59] to his service; and when he did
+not so, he was far from being alone: for, _I am not alone_, says he,
+_but I, and the Father that sent me_.[60] I cannot fear but that I
+shall always be with thee and him; but whether this disease may not
+alien and remove my friends, so that _they stand aloof from my sore, and
+my kinsmen stand afar off_,[61] I cannot tell. I cannot fear but that
+thou wilt reckon with me from this minute, in which, by thy grace, I see
+thee; whether this understanding, and this will, and this memory may not
+decay, to the discouragement and the ill interpretation of them that see
+that heavy change in me, I cannot tell. It was for thy blessed, thy
+powerful Son alone, _to tread the wine-press alone, and none of the
+people with him_.[62] I am not able to pass this agony alone, not alone
+without thee; thou art thy spirit, not alone without thine; spiritual
+and temporal physicians are thine, not alone without mine; those whom
+the bands of blood or friendship have made mine, are mine; and if thou,
+or thine, or mine, abandon me, I am alone, and woe unto me if I be
+alone. Elias himself fainted under that apprehension, _Lo, I am left
+alone_;[63] and Martha murmured at that, said to Christ, _Lord, dost not
+thou care that my sister hath left me to serve alone?_[64] Neither could
+Jeremiah enter into his lamentations from a higher ground than to say,
+_How doth the city sit solitary that was full of people_.[65] O my God,
+it is the leper that thou hast condemned to live alone;[66] have I such
+a leprosy in my soul that I must die alone; alone without thee? Shall
+this come to such a leprosy in my body that I must die alone; alone
+without them that should assist, that should comfort me? But comes not
+this expostulation too near a murmuring? Must I be concluded with that,
+that Moses _was commanded to come near the Lord alone_;[67] that
+solitariness, and dereliction, and abandoning of others, disposes us
+best for God, who accompanies us most alone? May I not remember, and
+apply too, that though God came not to Jacob till he found him alone,
+yet when he found him alone, he wrestled with him, and lamed him;[68]
+that when, in the dereliction and forsaking of friends and physicians, a
+man is left alone to God, God may so wrestle with this Jacob, with this
+conscience, as to put it out of joint, and so appear to him as that he
+dares not look upon him face to face, when as by way of reflection, in
+the consolation of his temporal or spiritual servants, and ordinances he
+durst, if they were there? But a _faithful friend is the physic of life,
+and they that fear the Lord shall find him_.[69] Therefore hath the Lord
+afforded me both in one person, that physician who is my faithful
+friend.
+
+
+V. PRAYER.
+
+O eternal and most gracious God, who calledst down fire from heaven upon
+the sinful cities but once, and openedst the earth to swallow the
+murmurers but once, and threwest down the tower of Siloam upon sinners
+but once; but for thy works of mercy repeatedst them often, and still
+workest by thine own patterns, as thou broughtest man into this world,
+by giving him a helper fit for him here; so, whether it be thy will to
+continue me long thus, or to dismiss me by death, be pleased to afford
+me the helps fit for both conditions, either for my weak stay here, or
+my final transmigration from hence. And if thou mayst receive glory by
+that way (and by all ways thou mayst receive glory), glorify thyself in
+preserving this body from such infections as might withhold those who
+would come, or endanger them who do come; and preserve this soul in the
+faculties thereof from all such distempers as might shake the assurance
+which myself and others have had, that because thou hast loved me thou
+wouldst love me to my end, and at my end. Open none of my doors, not of
+my heart, not of mine ears, not of my house, to any supplanter that
+would enter to undermine me in my religion to thee, in the time of my
+weakness, or to defame me, and magnify himself with false rumours of
+such a victory and surprisal of me, after I am dead. Be my salvation,
+and plead my salvation; work it and declare it; and as thy triumphant
+shall be, so let the militant church be assured that thou wast my God,
+and I thy servant, to and in my consummation. Bless thou the learning
+and the labours of this man whom thou sendest to assist me; and since
+thou takest me by the hand, and puttest me into his hands (for I come to
+him in thy name, who in thy name comes to me), since I clog not my hopes
+in him, no, nor my prayers to thee, with any limited conditions, but
+inwrap all in those two petitions, _Thy kingdom come, thy will be done_,
+prosper him, and relieve me, in thy way, in thy time, and in thy
+measure. Amen.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[53] John, xi. 23.
+
+[54] Num. xxiii. 9.
+
+[55] Deut. xxxiii. 28.
+
+[56] Eccles. iv. 10.
+
+[57] Wisd. i. 15.
+
+[58] Matt. xiv. 23.
+
+[59] Matt. xxvi. 13.
+
+[60] John, viii. 16.
+
+[61] Psalm xxxviii. 11.
+
+[62] Isaiah, lxiii. 3.
+
+[63] 1 Kings, xiv. 14.
+
+[64] Luke, x. 40.
+
+[65] Lam. i. 1.
+
+[66] Lev. xiii. 46.
+
+[67] Exod. xiv. 2.
+
+[68] Gen. xxxii. 24. 25.
+
+[69] Ecclus. vi. 16.
+
+
+
+
+VI. METUIT.
+
+_The physician is afraid._
+
+
+VI. MEDITATION.
+
+I observe the physician with the same diligence as he the disease; I see
+he fears, and I fear with him; I overtake him, I overrun him, in his
+fear, and I go the faster, because he makes his pace slow; I fear the
+more, because he disguises his fear, and I see it with the more
+sharpness, because he would not have me see it. He knows that his fear
+shall not disorder the practice and exercise of his art, but he knows
+that my fear may disorder the effect and working of his practice. As the
+ill affections of the spleen complicate and mingle themselves with every
+infirmity of the body, so doth fear insinuate itself in every action or
+passion of the mind; and as wind in the body will counterfeit any
+disease, and seem the stone, and seem the gout, so fear will counterfeit
+any disease of the mind. It shall seem love, a love of having; and it is
+but a fear, a jealous and suspicious fear of losing. It shall seem
+valour in despising and undervaluing danger; and it is but fear in an
+overvaluing of opinion and estimation, and a fear of losing that. A man
+that is not afraid of a lion is afraid of a cat; not afraid of starving,
+and yet is afraid of some joint of meat at the table presented to feed
+him; not afraid of the sound of drums and trumpets and shot and those
+which they seek to drown, the last cries of men, and is afraid of some
+particular harmonious instrument; so much afraid as that with any of
+these the enemy might drive this man, otherwise valiant enough, out of
+the field. I know not what fear is, nor I know not what it is that I
+fear now; I fear not the hastening of my death, and yet I do fear the
+increase of the disease; I should belie nature if I should deny that I
+feared this; and if I should say that I feared death, I should belie
+God. My weakness is from nature, who hath but her measure; my strength
+is from God, who possesses and distributes infinitely. As then every
+cold air is not a damp, every shivering is not a stupefaction; so every
+fear is not a fearfulness, every declination is not a running away,
+every debating is not a resolving, every wish that it were not thus, is
+not a murmuring nor a dejection, though it be thus; but as my
+physician's fear puts not him from his practice, neither doth mine put
+me from receiving from God, and man, and myself, spiritual and civil and
+moral assistances and consolations.
+
+
+VI. EXPOSTULATION.
+
+My God, my God, I find in thy book that fear is a stifling spirit, a
+spirit of suffocation; that _Ishbosheth could not speak, nor reply in
+his own defence to Abner, because he was afraid_.[70] It was thy servant
+Job's case too, who, before he could say anything to thee, says of thee,
+_Let him take his rod away from me, and let not his fear terrify me,
+then would I speak with him, and not fear him; but it is not so with
+me_.[71] Shall a fear of thee take away my devotion to thee? Dost thou
+command me to speak to thee, and command me to fear thee; and do these
+destroy one another? There is no perplexity in thee, my God; no
+inextricableness in thee, my light and my clearness, my sun and my moon,
+that directest me as well in the night of adversity and fear, as in my
+day of prosperity and confidence. I must then speak to thee at all
+times, but when must I fear thee? At all times too. When didst thou
+rebuke any petitioner with the name of importunate? Thou hast proposed
+to us a parable of a judge[72] that did justice at last, because the
+client was importunate, and troubled him; but thou hast told us plainly,
+that thy use in that parable was not that thou wast troubled with our
+importunities, but (as thou sayest there) _that we should always pray_.
+And to the same purpose thou proposest another,[73] that if I press my
+friend, when he is in bed at midnight, to lend me bread, though he will
+not rise because I am his friend, yet because of mine importunity he
+will. God will do this whensoever thou askest, and never call it
+importunity. Pray in thy bed at midnight, and God will not say, I will
+hear thee to-morrow upon thy knees, at thy bedside; pray upon thy knees
+there then, and God will not say, I will hear thee on Sunday at church;
+God is no dilatory God, no froward God; prayer is never unseasonable,
+God is never asleep, nor absent. But, O my God, can I do this, and fear
+thee; come to thee and speak to thee, in all places, at all hours, and
+fear thee? Dare I ask this question? There is more boldness in the
+question than in the coming; I may do it though I fear thee; I cannot do
+it except I fear thee. So well hast thou provided that we should always
+fear thee, as that thou hast provided that we should fear no person but
+thee, nothing but thee; no men? No. Whom? _The Lord is my help and my
+salvation, whom shall I fear?_[74] Great enemies? Not great enemies, for
+no enemies are great to them that fear thee. _Fear not the people of
+this land, for they are bread to you_;[75] they shall not only not eat
+us, not eat our bread, but they shall be our bread. Why should we fear
+them? But for all this metaphorical bread, victory over enemies that
+thought to devour us, may we not fear, that we may lack bread literally?
+And fear famine, though we fear not enemies? _Young lions do lack and
+suffer hunger, but they that seek the Lord shall not want any good
+thing._[76] Never? Though it be well with them at one time, may they not
+fear that it may be worse? _Wherefore should I fear in the days of
+evil?_[77] says thy servant David. Though his own sin had made them
+evil, he feared them not. No? not if this evil determine in death? Not
+though in a death; not though in a death inflicted by violence, by
+malice, by our own desert; _fear not the sentence of death_,[78] if thou
+fear God. Thou art, O my God, so far from admitting us that fear thee to
+fear others, as that thou makest others to fear us; as _Herod feared
+John, because he was a holy and a just man, and observed him_.[79] How
+fully then, O my abundant God, how gently, O my sweet, my easy God, dost
+thou unentangle me in any scruple arising out of the consideration of
+thy fear! Is not this that which thou intendest when thou sayest, _The
+secret of the Lord is with them that fear him_;[80] the secret, the
+mystery of the right use of fear. Dost thou not mean this when thou
+sayest, _we shall understand the fear of the Lord_?[81] Have it, and
+have benefit by it; have it, and stand under it; be directed by it, and
+not be dejected with it. And dost thou not propose that church for our
+example when thou sayest, the church of Judea _walked in the fear of
+God_;[82] they had it, but did not sit down lazily, nor fall down
+weakly, nor sink under it. There is a fear which weakens men in the
+service of God. _Adam was afraid, because he was naked._[83] They who
+have put off thee are a prey to all. They may fear, for _Thou wilt laugh
+when their fear comes upon them_, as thou hast told them more than
+once.[84] And thou wilt make them fear where no cause of fear is, as
+thou hast told them more than once too.[85] There is a fear that is a
+punishment of former wickednesses, and induces more. Though some said of
+thy Son, Christ Jesus, _that he was a good man, yet no man spake openly
+for fear of the Jews_. Joseph was his disciple, _but secretly, for fear
+of the Jews_.[86] The disciples kept some meetings, but with doors shut
+for fear of the Jews. O my God, thou givest us fear for ballast to carry
+us steadily in all weathers. But thou wouldst ballast us with such sand
+as should have gold in it, with that fear which is thy fear; for _the
+fear of the Lord is his treasure_.[87] He that hath that lacks nothing
+that man can have, nothing that God does give. Timorous men thou
+rebukest: _Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith?_[88] Such thou
+dismissest from thy service with scorn, though of them there went from
+Gideon's army twenty-two thousand, and remained but ten thousand.[89]
+Such thou sendest farther than so; thither from whence they never
+return: _The fearful and the unbelieving, into that burning lake which
+is the second death_.[90] There is a fear and there is a hope, which are
+equal abominations to thee; for, they were confounded because they
+hoped,[91] says thy servant Job; because they had misplaced, miscentred
+their hopes, they hoped, and not in thee, and such shall fear, and not
+fear thee. But in thy fear, my God, and my fear, my God, and my hope, is
+hope, and love, and confidence, and peace, and every limb and ingredient
+of happiness enwrapped; for joy includes all, and fear and joy consist
+together, nay, constitute one another. _The women departed from the
+sepulchre_,[92] the women who were made supernumerary apostles, apostles
+to the apostles; mothers of the church, and of the fathers, grandfathers
+of the church, the apostles themselves; the women, angels of the
+resurrection, went from the sepulchre with fear and joy; they ran, says
+the text, and they ran upon those two legs, fear and joy; and both was
+the right leg; they joy in thee, O Lord, that fear thee, and fear thee
+only, who feel this joy in thee. Nay, thy fear, and thy love are
+inseparable; still we are called upon, in infinite places, to fear God,
+yet the commandment, which is the root of all is, Thou shalt love the
+Lord thy God; he doeth neither that doeth not both; he omits neither,
+that does one. Therefore when thy servant David had said that _the fear
+of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom_,[93] and his son had repeated it
+again,[94] he that collects both calls this fear the root of wisdom;
+and, that it may embrace all, he calls it wisdom itself.[95] A wise man,
+therefore, is never without it, never without the exercise of it;
+therefore thou sentest Moses to thy people, _that they might learn to
+fear thee all the days of their lives_,[96] not in heavy and calamitous,
+but in good and cheerful days too; for Noah, who had assurance of his
+deliverance, yet, _moved with fear, prepared an ark, for the saving of
+his house_.[97] _A wise man will fear in everything._[98] And therefore,
+though I pretend to no other degree of wisdom, I am abundantly rich in
+this, that I lie here possessed with that fear which is thy fear, both
+that this sickness is thy immediate correction, and not merely a natural
+accident, and therefore fearful, because it is a fearful thing to fall
+into thy hands; and that this fear preserves me from all inordinate
+fear, arising out of the infirmity of nature, because thy hand being
+upon me, thou wilt never let me fall out of thy hand.
+
+
+VI. PRAYER.
+
+O most mighty God, and merciful God, the God of all true sorrow, and
+true joy too, of all fear, and of all hope too, as thou hast given me a
+repentance, not to be repented of, so give me, O Lord, a fear, of which
+I may not be afraid. Give me tender and supple and conformable
+affections, that as I joy with them that joy, and mourn with them that
+mourn, so I may fear with them that fear. And since thou hast vouchsafed
+to discover to me, in his fear whom thou hast admitted to be my
+assistance in this sickness, that there is danger therein, let me not, O
+Lord, go about to overcome the sense of that fear, so far as to
+pretermit the fitting and preparing of myself for the worst that may be
+feared, the passage out of this life. Many of thy blessed martyrs have
+passed out of this life without any show of fear; but thy most blessed
+Son himself did not so. Thy martyrs were known to be but men, and
+therefore it pleased thee to fill them with thy Spirit and thy power, in
+that they did more than men; thy Son was declared by thee, and by
+himself, to be God; and it was requisite that he should declare himself
+to be man also, in the weaknesses of man. Let me not therefore, O my
+God, be ashamed of these fears, but let me feel them to determine where
+his fear did, in a present submitting of all to thy will. And when thou
+shalt have inflamed and thawed my former coldnesses and indevotions with
+these heats, and quenched my former heats with these sweats and
+inundations, and rectified my former presumptions and negligences with
+these fears, be pleased, O Lord, as one made so by thee, to think me fit
+for thee; and whether it be thy pleasure to dispose of this body, this
+garment, so as to put it to a farther wearing in this world, or to lay
+it up in the common wardrobe, the grave, for the next, glorify thyself
+in thy choice now, and glorify it then, with that glory, which thy Son,
+our Saviour Christ Jesus, hath purchased for them whom thou makest
+partakers of his resurrection. Amen.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[70] 2 Sam. iii. 11.
+
+[71] Job, ix. 34.
+
+[72] Luke, xviii. 1.
+
+[73] Luke, xi. 5.
+
+[74] Psalm xxvii. 1.
+
+[75] Num. xiv. 9.
+
+[76] Psalm xxxv. 70.
+
+[77] Psalm xlix. 5.
+
+[78] Ecclus. xli. 3.
+
+[79] Mark, vi. 20.
+
+[80] Psalm xxv. 14.
+
+[81] Prov. ii. 5.
+
+[82] Acts, ix. 31.
+
+[83] Gen. iii. 10.
+
+[84] Prov. i. 26; x. 24.
+
+[85] Psalm xiv. 5; liii. 5.
+
+[86] John, vii. 13; xix. 38; xxix. 19
+
+[87] Isaiah, xxxiii. 6.
+
+[88] Matt. viii. 26.
+
+[89] Judges, vii. 3.
+
+[90] Rev. xxi. 8.
+
+[91] Job, vi. 20.
+
+[92] Matt. xxviii. 8.
+
+[93] Psalm cxi. 10.
+
+[94] Prov. i. 7.
+
+[95] Ecclus. i. 20, 27.
+
+[96] Deut. iv. 10.
+
+[97] Heb. xi. 7.
+
+[98] Ecclus. xviii. 27.
+
+
+
+
+VII. SOCIOS SIBI JUNGIER INSTAT.
+
+_The physician desires to have others joined with him._
+
+
+VII. MEDITATION.
+
+There is more fear, therefore more cause. If the physician desire help,
+the burden grows great: there is a growth of the disease then; but there
+must be an autumn too; but whether an autumn of the disease or me, it is
+not my part to choose; but if it be of me, it is of both; my disease
+cannot survive me, I may overlive it. Howsoever, his desiring of others
+argues his candour, and his ingenuity; if the danger be great, he
+justifies his proceedings, and he disguises nothing that calls in
+witnesses; and if the danger be not great, he is not ambitious, that is
+so ready to divide the thanks and the honour of that work which he begun
+alone, with others. It diminishes not the dignity of a monarch that he
+derive part of his care upon others; God hath not made many suns, but he
+hath made many bodies that receive and give light. The Romans began with
+one king; they came to two consuls; they returned in extremities to one
+dictator: whether in one or many, the sovereignty is the same in all
+states and the danger is not the more, and the providence is the more,
+where there are more physicians; as the state is the happier where
+businesses are carried by more counsels than can be in one breast, how
+large soever. Diseases themselves hold consultations, and conspire how
+they may multiply, and join with one another, and exalt one another's
+force so; and shall we not call physicians to consultations? Death is in
+an old man's door, he appears and tells him so, and death is at a young
+man's back, and says nothing; age is a sickness, and youth is an
+ambush; and we need so many physicians as may make up a watch, and spy
+every inconvenience. There is scarce any thing that hath not killed
+somebody; a hair, a feather hath done it; nay, that which is our best
+antidote against it hath done it; the best cordial hath been deadly
+poison. Men have died of joy, and almost forbidden their friends to weep
+for them, when they have seen them die laughing. Even that tyrant,
+Dionysius (I think the same that suffered so much after), who could not
+die of that sorrow, of that high fall, from a king to a wretched private
+man, died of so poor a joy as to be declared by the people at a theatre
+that he was a good poet. We say often that a man may live of a little;
+but, alas, of how much less may a man die? And therefore the more
+assistants the better. Who comes to a day of hearing, in a cause of any
+importance, with one advocate? In our funerals we ourselves have no
+interest; there we cannot advise, we cannot direct; and though some
+nations (the Egyptians in particular) built themselves better tombs than
+houses because they were to dwell longer in them, yet amongst ourselves,
+the greatest man of style whom we have had, the Conqueror, was left, as
+soon as his soul left him, not only without persons to assist at his
+grave but without a grave. Who will keep us then we know not; as long as
+we can, let us admit as much help as we can; another and another
+physician is not another and another indication and symptom of death,
+but another and another assistant, and proctor of life: nor do they so
+much feed the imagination with apprehension of danger, as the
+understanding with comfort. Let not one bring learning, another
+diligence, another religion, but every one bring all; and as many
+ingredients enter into a receipt, so may many men make the receipt. But
+why do I exercise my meditation so long upon this, of having plentiful
+help in time of need? Is not my meditation rather to be inclined another
+way, to condole and commiserate their distress who have none? How many
+are sicker (perchance) than I, and laid in their woful straw at home (if
+that corner be a home), and have no more hope of help, though they die,
+than of preferment, though they live! Nor do more expect to see a
+physician then, than to be an officer after; of whom, the first that
+takes knowledge, is the sexton that buries them, who buries them in
+oblivion too! For they do but fill up the number of the dead in the
+bill, but we shall never hear their names, till we read them in the book
+of life with our own. How many are sicker (perchance) than I, and thrown
+into hospitals, where (as a fish left upon the sand must stay the tide)
+they must stay the physician's hour of visiting, and then can be but
+visited! How many are sicker (perchance) than all we, and have not this
+hospital to cover them, not this straw to lie in, to die in, but have
+their gravestone under them, and breathe out their souls in the ears and
+in the eyes of passengers, harder than their bed, the flint of the
+street? that taste of no part of our physic, but a sparing diet, to whom
+ordinary porridge would be julep enough, the refuse of our servants
+bezoar enough, and the offscouring of our kitchen tables cordial enough.
+O my soul, when thou art not enough awake to bless thy God enough for
+his plentiful mercy in affording thee many helpers, remember how many
+lack them, and help them to them or to those other things which they
+lack as much as them.
+
+
+VII. EXPOSTULATION.
+
+My God, my God, thy blessed servant Augustine begged of thee that Moses
+might come and tell him what he meant by some places of Genesis: may I
+have leave to ask of that Spirit that writ that book, why, when David
+expected news from Joab's army,[99] and that the watchman told him that
+he saw a man running alone, David concluded out of that circumstance,
+that if he came alone, he brought good news?[100] I see the grammar, the
+word signifies so, and is so ever accepted, _good news_; but I see not
+the logic nor the rhetoric, how David would prove or persuade that his
+news was good because he was alone, except a greater company might have
+made great impressions of danger, by imploring and importuning present
+supplies. Howsoever that be, I am sure that that which thy apostle says
+to Timothy, _Only Luke is with me_,[101] Luke, and nobody but Luke, hath
+a taste of complaint and sorrow in it: though Luke want no testimony of
+ability, of forwardness, of constancy, and perseverance, in assisting
+that great building which St. Paul laboured in, yet St. Paul is affected
+with that, that there was none but Luke to assist. We take St. Luke to
+have been a physician, and it admits the application the better that in
+the presence of one good physician we may be glad of more. It was not
+only a civil spirit of policy, or order, that moved Moses's
+father-in-law to persuade him to divide the burden of government and
+judicature with others, and take others to his assistance,[102] but it
+was also thy immediate Spirit, O my God, that moved Moses to present
+unto thee seventy of the elders of Israel,[103] to receive of that
+Spirit, which was upon Moses only before, such a portion as might ease
+him in the government of that people; though Moses alone had endowments
+above all, thou gavest him other assistants. I consider thy plentiful
+goodness, O my God, in employing angels more than one in so many of thy
+remarkable works. Of thy Son, thou sayest, _Let all the angels of God
+worship him_;[104] if that be in heaven, upon earth he says, _that he
+could command twelve legions of angels_;[105] and when heaven and earth
+shall be all one, at the last day, thy Son, O God, _the Son of man,
+shall come in his glory, and all the holy angels with him_.[106] The
+angels that celebrated his birth to the shepherds,[107] the angels that
+celebrated his second birth, his resurrection, to the Maries,[108] were
+in the plural, angels associated with angels. In Jacob's ladder,[109]
+they who ascended and descended, and maintained the trade between heaven
+and earth, between thee and us, they who have the commission, and charge
+to guide us in all our ways,[110] they who hastened Lot,[111] and in
+him, us, from places of danger and temptation, they who are appointed to
+instruct and govern us in the church here,[112] they who are sent to
+punish the disobedient and refractory,[113] that they are to be mowers
+and harvestmen[114] after we are grown up in one field, the church, at
+the day of judgment, they that are to carry our souls whither they
+carried Lazarus,[115] they who attended at the several gates of the new
+Jerusalem,[116] to admit us there; all these who administer to thy
+servants, from the first to their last, are angels, angels in the
+plural, in every service angels associated with angels. The power of a
+single angel we see in that one, who in one night destroyed almost two
+hundred thousand in Sennacherib's army,[117] yet thou often employest
+many; as we know the power of salvation is abundantly in any one
+evangelist, and yet thou hast afforded us four. Thy Son proclaims of
+himself that _the Spirit hath anointed him to preach the Gospel_,[118]
+yet he hath given others _for the perfecting of the saints in the work
+of the ministry_.[119] Thou hast made him _Bishop of our souls_,[120]
+but there are others bishops too. He gave the Holy Ghost,[121] and
+others gave it also. Thy way, O my God (and, O my God, thou lovest to
+walk in thine own ways, for they are large), thy way from the beginning,
+is multiplication of thy helps; and therefore it were a degree of
+ingratitude not to accept this mercy of affording me many helps for my
+bodily health, as a type and earnest of thy gracious purpose now and
+ever to afford me the same assistances. That for thy great help, thy
+word, I may seek that not from comers nor conventicles nor schismatical
+singularities, but from the association and communion of thy Catholic
+church, and those persons whom thou hast always furnished that church
+withal: and that I may associate thy word with thy sacrament, thy seal
+with thy patent; and in that sacrament associate the sign with the thing
+signified, the bread with the body of thy Son, so as I may be sure to
+have received both, and to be made thereby (as thy blessed servant
+Augustine says) the ark, and the monument, and the tomb of thy most
+blessed Son, that he, and all the merits of his death, may, by that
+receiving, be buried in me, to my quickening in this world, and my
+immortal establishing in the next.
+
+
+VII. PRAYER.
+
+O eternal and most gracious God, who gavest to thy servants in the
+wilderness thy manna, bread so conditioned, qualified so, as that to
+every man manna tasted like that which that man liked best, I humbly
+beseech thee to make this correction, which I acknowledge to be part of
+my daily bread, to taste so to me, not as I would but as thou wouldst
+have it taste, and to conform my taste, and make it agreeable to thy
+will. Thou wouldst have thy corrections taste of humiliation, but thou
+wouldst have them taste of consolation too; taste of danger, but taste
+of assurance too. As therefore thou hast imprinted in all thine elements
+of which our bodies consist two manifest qualities, so that as thy fire
+dries, so it heats too; and as thy water moists, so it cools too; so, O
+Lord, in these corrections which are the elements of our regeneration,
+by which our souls are made thine, imprint thy two qualities, those two
+operations, that, as they scourge us, they may scourge us into the way
+to thee; that when they have showed us that we are nothing in ourselves,
+they may also show us, that thou art all things unto us. When therefore
+in this particular circumstance, O Lord (but none of thy judgments are
+circumstances, they are all of all substance of thy good purpose upon
+us), when in this particular, that he whom thou hast sent to assist me,
+desires assistants to him, thou hast let me see in how few hours thou
+canst throw me beyond the help of man, let me by the same light see that
+no vehemence of sickness, no temptation of Satan, no guiltiness of sin,
+no prison of death, not this first, this sick bed, not the other prison,
+the close and dark grave, can remove me from the determined and good
+purpose which thou hast sealed concerning me. Let me think no degree of
+this thy correction casual, or without signification; but yet when I
+have read it in that language, as a correction, let me translate it into
+another, and read it as a mercy; and which of these is the original, and
+which is the translation; whether thy mercy or thy correction were thy
+primary and original intention in this sickness, I cannot conclude,
+though death conclude me; for as it must necessarily appear to be a
+correction, so I can have no greater argument of thy mercy, than to die
+in thee and by that death to be united to him who died for me.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[99] 2 Sam. xviii. 25.
+
+[100] So all but our translation takes it; even Buxdor and Schindler.
+
+[101] 2 Tim. iv. 11.
+
+[102] Exod. xviii. 13.
+
+[103] Num. xi. 16.
+
+[104] Heb. i. 6.
+
+[105] Matt. xxvi. 53.
+
+[106] Matt. xxv. 31.
+
+[107] Luke, ii. 13, 14.
+
+[108] John, xx. 12.
+
+[109] Gen. xxviii. 12.
+
+[110] Psalm xci. 11.
+
+[111] Gen. xix. 15.
+
+[112] Rev. i. 20.
+
+[113] Rev. viii. 2.
+
+[114] Matt. xiii. 39.
+
+[115] Luke, xvi. 22.
+
+[116] Rev. xxi. 12.
+
+[117] 2 Kings, xix. 35.
+
+[118] Luke, iv. 18.
+
+[119] Eph. iv. 12.
+
+[120] 1 Pet. ii. 25.
+
+[121] John, xx. 22.
+
+
+
+
+VIII. ET REX IPSE SUUM MITTIT.
+
+_The King sends his own physician._
+
+
+VIII. MEDITATION.
+
+Still when we return to that meditation that man is a world, we find new
+discoveries. Let him be a world, and himself will be the land, and
+misery the sea. His misery (for misery is his, his own; of the happiness
+even of this world, he is but tenant, but of misery the freeholder; of
+happiness he is but the farmer, but the usufructuary, but of misery the
+lord, the proprietary), his misery, as the sea, swells above all the
+hills, and reaches to the remotest parts of this earth, man; who of
+himself is but dust, and coagulated and kneaded into earth by tears; his
+matter is earth, his form misery. In this world that is mankind, the
+highest ground, the eminentest hills, are kings; and have they line and
+lead enough to fathom this sea, and say, My misery is but this deep?
+Scarce any misery equal to sickness, and they are subject to that
+equally with their lowest subject. A glass is not the less brittle,
+because a king's face is represented in it; nor a king the less brittle,
+because God is represented in him. They have physicians continually
+about them, and therefore sickness, or the worst of sicknesses,
+continual fear of it. Are they gods? He that called them so cannot
+flatter. They are gods, but sick gods; and God is presented to us under
+many human affections, as far as infirmities: God is called angry, and
+sorry, and weary, and heavy, but never a sick God; for then he might die
+like men, as our gods do. The worst that they could say in reproach and
+scorn of the gods of the heathen was, that perchance they were asleep;
+but gods that are so sick as that they cannot sleep are in an infirmer
+condition. A god, and need a physician? A Jupiter, and need an
+AEsculapius? that must have rhubarb to purge his choler lest he be too
+angry, and agarick to purge his phlegm lest he be too drowsy; that as
+Tertullian says of the Egyptian gods, plants and herbs, that "God was
+beholden to man for growing in his garden," so we must say of these
+gods, their eternity (an eternity of threescore and ten years) is in the
+apothecary's shop, and not in the metaphorical deity. But their deity is
+better expressed in their humility than in their height; when abounding
+and overflowing, as God, in means of doing good, they descend, as God,
+to a communication of their abundances with men according to their
+necessities, then they are gods. No man is well that understands not,
+that values not his being well; that hath not a cheerfulness and a joy
+in it; and whosoever hath this joy hath a desire to communicate, to
+propagate that which occasions his happiness and his joy to others; for
+every man loves witnesses of his happiness, and the best witnesses are
+experimental witnesses; they who have tasted of that in themselves which
+makes us happy. It consummates therefore, it perfects the happiness of
+kings, to confer, to transfer, honour and riches, and (as they can)
+health, upon those that need them.
+
+
+VIII. EXPOSTULATION.
+
+My God, my God, I have a warning from the wise man, that _when a rich
+man speaketh every man holdeth his tongue, and, look, what he saith,
+they extol it to the clouds; but if a poor man speak, they say, What
+fellow is this? And if he stumble, they will help to overthrow
+him._[122] Therefore may my words be undervalued and my errors
+aggravated, if I offer to speak of kings; but not by thee, O my God,
+because I speak of them as they are in thee, and of thee as thou art in
+them. Certainly those men prepare a way of speaking negligently or
+irreverently of thee, that give themselves that liberty in speaking of
+thy vicegerents, kings; for thou who gavest Augustus the empire, gavest
+it to Nero too; and as Vespasian had it from thee, so had Julian. Though
+kings deface in themselves thy first image in their own soul, thou
+givest no man leave to deface thy second image, imprinted indelibly in
+their power. But thou knowest, O God, that if I should be slack in
+celebrating thy mercies to me exhibited by that royal instrument, my
+sovereign, to many other faults that touch upon allegiance I should add
+the worst of all, ingratitude, which constitutes an ill man; and faults
+which are defects in any particular function are not so great as those
+that destroy our humanity. It is not so ill to be an ill subject as to
+be an ill man; for he hath an universal illness, ready to flow and pour
+out itself into any mould, any form, and to spend itself in any
+function. As therefore thy Son did upon the coin, I look upon the king,
+and I ask whose image and whose inscription he hath, and he hath thine;
+and I give unto thee that which is thine; I recommend his happiness to
+thee in all my sacrifices of thanks, for that which he enjoys, and in
+all my prayers for the continuance and enlargement of them. But let me
+stop, my God, and consider; will not this look like a piece of art and
+cunning, to convey into the world an opinion that I were more particular
+in his care than other men? and that herein, in a show of humility and
+thankfulness, I magnify myself more than there is cause? But let not
+that jealousy stop me, O God, but let me go forward in celebrating thy
+mercy exhibited by him. This which he doth now, in assisting so my
+bodily health, I know is common to me with many: many, many have tasted
+of that expression of his graciousness. Where he can give health by his
+own hands he doth, and to more than any of his predecessors have done:
+therefore hath God reserved one disease for him, that he only might cure
+it, though perchance not only by one title and interest, nor only as one
+king. To those that need it not, in that kind, and so cannot have it by
+his own hand, he sends a donative of health in sending his physician.
+The holy king St. Louis, in France, and our Maud, is celebrated for
+that, that personally they visited hospitals, and assisted in the cure
+even of loathsome diseases. And when that religious Empress Placilla,
+the wife of Theodosius, was told that she diminished herself too much in
+those personal assistances and might do enough in sending relief, she
+said she would send in that capacity as a Christian, as a fellow-member
+of the body of thy Son, with them. So thy servant David applies himself
+to his people, so he incorporates himself in his people, by calling them
+his brethren, his bones, his flesh;[123] and when they fell under thy
+hand, even to the pretermitting of himself, he presses upon thee by
+prayer for them; _I have sinned, but these sheep, what have they done?
+Let thine hand, I pray thee, be against me and against my father's
+house_.[124] It is kingly to give; when Araunah gave that great and free
+present to David, that place, those instruments for sacrifice, and the
+sacrifices themselves, it is said there by thy Spirit, _All these things
+did Araunah give, as a king, to the king_.[125] To give is an
+approaching to the condition of kings, but to give health, an
+approaching to the King of kings, to thee. But this his assisting to my
+bodily health, thou knowest, O God, and so do some others of thine
+honourable servants know, is but the twilight of that day wherein thou,
+through him, hast shined upon me before; but the echo of that voice,
+whereby thou, through him, hast spoke to me before, then when he, first
+of any man, conceived a hope that I might be of some use in thy church
+and descended to an intimation, to a persuasion, almost to a
+solicitation, that I would embrace that calling. And thou who hadst put
+that desire into his heart, didst also put into mine an obedience to it;
+and I, who was sick before of a vertiginous giddiness and irresolution,
+and almost spent all my time in consulting how I should spend it, was by
+this man of God, and God of men, put into the pool and recovered: when I
+asked, perchance, a stone, he gave me bread; when I asked, perchance, a
+scorpion, he gave me a fish; when I asked a temporal office, he denied
+not, refused not that; but let me see that he had rather I took this.
+These things thou, O God, who forgettest nothing, hast not forgot,
+though perchance he, because they were benefits, hath; but I am not only
+a witness, but an instance, that our Jehoshaphat hath a care to ordain
+priests, as well as judges:[126] and not only to send physicians for
+temporal but to be the physician for spiritual health.
+
+
+VIII. PRAYER.
+
+O eternal and most gracious God, who, though thou have reserved thy
+treasure of perfect joy and perfect glory to be given by thine own hands
+then, when, by seeing thee as thou art in thyself, and knowing thee as
+we are known, we shall possess in an instant, and possess for ever, all
+that can any way conduce to our happiness, yet here also, in this world,
+givest us such earnests of that full payment, as by the value of the
+earnest we may give some estimate of the treasure, humbly and thankfully
+I acknowledge, that thy blessed Spirit instructs me to make a difference
+of thy blessings in this world, by that difference of the instruments by
+which it hath pleased thee to derive them unto me. As we see thee here
+in a glass, so we receive from thee here by reflection and by
+instruments. Even casual things come from thee; and that which we call
+fortune here hath another name above. Nature reaches out her hand and
+gives us corn, and wine, and oil, and milk; but thou fillest her hand
+before, and thou openest her hand that she may rain down her showers
+upon us. Industry reaches out her hand to us and gives us fruits of our
+labour for ourselves and our posterity; but thy hand guides that hand
+when it sows and when it waters, and the increase is from thee. Friends
+reach out their hands and prefer us; but thy hand supports that hand
+that supports us. Of all these thy instruments have I received thy
+blessing, O God; but bless thy name most for the greatest; that, as a
+member of the public, and as a partaker of private favours too, by thy
+right hand, thy powerful hand set over us, I have had my portion not
+only in the hearing, but in the preaching of thy Gospel. Humbly
+beseeching thee, that as thou continuest thy wonted goodness upon the
+whole world by the wonted means and instruments, the same sun and moon,
+the same nature and industry, so to continue the same blessings upon
+this state and this church by the same hand, so long as that thy Son,
+when he comes in the clouds, may find him, or his son, or his son's sons
+ready to give an account and able to stand in that judgment, for their
+faithful stewardship and dispensation of thy talents so abundantly
+committed to them; and be to him, O God, in all distempers of his body,
+in all anxieties of spirit, in all holy sadnesses of soul, such a
+physician in thy proportion, who are the greatest in heaven, as he hath
+been in soul and body to me, in his proportion, who is the greatest upon
+earth.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[122] Ecclus. xiii. 23.
+
+[123] 2 Sam. xix. 12.
+
+[124] 2 Sam. xxiv. 17.
+
+[125] 2 Sam. xxiv. 22, 23.
+
+[126] 2 Chron. xix. 8.
+
+
+
+
+IX. MEDICAMINA SCRIBUNT.
+
+_Upon their consultation they prescribe._
+
+
+IX. MEDITATION.
+
+They have seen me and heard me, arraigned me in these fetters and
+received the evidence; I have cut up mine own anatomy, dissected myself,
+and they are gone to read upon me. O how manifold and perplexed a thing,
+nay, how wanton and various a thing, is ruin and destruction! God
+presented to David three kinds, war, famine and pestilence; Satan left
+out these, and brought in fires from heaven and winds from the
+wilderness. If there were no ruin but sickness, we see the masters of
+that art can scarce number, not name all sicknesses; every thing that
+disorders a faculty, and the function of that, is a sickness; the names
+will not serve them which are given from the place affected, the
+pleurisy is so; nor from the effect which it works, the falling sickness
+is so; they cannot have names enough, from what it does, nor where it
+is, but they must extort names from what it is like, what it resembles,
+and but in some one thing, or else they would lack names; for the wolf,
+and the canker, and the polypus are so; and that question whether there
+be more names or things, is as perplexed in sicknesses as in any thing
+else; except it be easily resolved upon that side that there are more
+sicknesses than names. If ruin were reduced to that one way, that man
+could perish no way but by sickness, yet his danger were infinite; and
+if sickness were reduced to that one way, that there were no sickness
+but a fever, yet the way were infinite still; for it would overload and
+oppress any natural, disorder and discompose any artificial, memory, to
+deliver the names of several fevers; how intricate a work then have they
+who are gone to consult which of these sicknesses mine is, and then
+which of these fevers, and then what it would do, and then how it may be
+countermined. But even in ill it is a degree of good when the evil will
+admit consultation. In many diseases, that which is but an accident, but
+a symptom of the main disease, is so violent, that the physician must
+attend the cure of that, though he pretermit (so far as to intermit) the
+cure of the disease itself. Is it not so in states too? Sometimes the
+insolency of those that are great puts the people into commotions; the
+great disease, and the greatest danger to the head, is the insolency of
+the great ones; and yet they execute martial law, they come to present
+executions upon the people, whose commotion was indeed but a symptom,
+but an accident of the main disease; but this symptom, grown so violent,
+would allow no time for a consultation. Is it not so in the accidents of
+the diseases of our mind too? Is it not evidently so in our affections,
+in our passions? If a choleric man be ready to strike, must I go about
+to purge his choler, or to break the blow? But where there is room for
+consultation things are not desperate. They consult, so there is nothing
+rashly, inconsiderately done; and then they prescribe, they write, so
+there is nothing covertly, disguisedly, unavowedly done. In bodily
+diseases it is not always so; sometimes, as soon as the physician's foot
+is in the chamber, his knife is in the patient's arm; the disease would
+not allow a minute's forbearing of blood, nor prescribing of other
+remedies. In states and matter of government it is so too; they are
+sometimes surprised with such accidents, as that the magistrate asks not
+what may be done by law, but does that which must necessarily be done in
+that case. But it is a degree of good in evil, a degree that carries
+hope and comfort in it, when we may have recourse to that which is
+written, and that the proceedings may be apert, and ingenuous, and
+candid, and avowable, for that gives satisfaction and acquiescence. They
+who have received my anatomy of myself consult, and end their
+consultation in prescribing, and in prescribing physic; proper and
+convenient remedy; for if they should come in again and chide me for
+some disorder that had occasioned and induced, or that had hastened and
+exalted this sickness, or if they should begin to write now rules for my
+diet and exercise when I were well, this were to antedate or to postdate
+their consultation, not to give physic. It were rather a vexation than a
+relief, to tell a condemned prisoner, You might have lived if you had
+done this; and if you can get your pardon, you shall do well to take
+this or this course hereafter. I am glad they know (I have hid nothing
+from them), glad they consult (they hid nothing from one another), glad
+they write (they hide nothing from the world), glad that they write and
+prescribe physic, that there are remedies for the present case.
+
+
+IX. EXPOSTULATION.
+
+My God, my God, allow me a just indignation, a holy detestation of the
+insolency of that man who, because he was of that high rank, of whom
+thou hast said, _They are gods_, thought himself more than equal to
+thee; that king of Aragon, Alphonsus, so perfect in the motions of the
+heavenly bodies as that he adventured to say, that if he had been of
+counsel with thee, in the making of the heavens, the heavens should have
+been disposed in a better order than they are. The king Amaziah would
+not endure thy prophet to reprehend him, but asked him in anger, _Art
+thou made of the king's counsel?_[127] When thy prophet Esaias asks that
+question, _Who hath directed the spirit of the Lord, or being his
+counsellor, hath taught him?_[128] it is after he had settled and
+determined that office upon thy Son, and him only, when he joins with
+those great titles, the mighty God and the Prince of peace, this also,
+the Counsellor;[129] and after he had settled upon him the spirit of
+might and of counsel.[130] So that then thou, O God, though thou have no
+counsel from man, yet dost nothing upon man without counsel. In the
+making of man there was a consultation; _Let us make man_.[131] In the
+preserving of man, _O thou great Preserver of men_,[132] thou proceedest
+by counsel; for all thy external works are the works of the whole
+Trinity, and their hand is to every action. How much more must I
+apprehend that all you blessed and glorious persons of the Trinity are
+in consultation now, what you will do with this infirm body, with this
+leprous soul, that attends guiltily, but yet comfortably, your
+determination upon it. I offer not to counsel them who meet in
+consultation for my body now, but I open my infirmities, I anatomize my
+body to them. So I do my soul to thee, O my God, in an humble
+confession, that there is no vein in me that is not full of the blood of
+thy Son, whom I have crucified and crucified again, by multiplying many,
+and often repeating the same, sins; that there is no artery in me that
+hath not the spirit of error, the spirit of lust, the spirit of
+giddiness in it;[133] no bone in me that is not hardened with the custom
+of sin and nourished and suppled with the marrow of sin; no sinews, no
+ligaments, that do not tie and chain sin and sin together. Yet, O
+blessed and glorious Trinity, O holy and whole college, and yet but one
+physician, if you take this confession into a consultation, my case is
+not desperate, my destruction is not decreed. If your consultation
+determine in writing, if you refer me to that which is written, you
+intend my recovery: for all the way, O my God (ever constant to thine
+own ways), thou hast proceeded openly, intelligibly, manifestly by the
+book. From thy first book, the book of life, never shut to thee, but
+never thoroughly open to us; from thy second book, the book of nature,
+where, though subobscurely and in shadows, thou hast expressed thine own
+image; from thy third book, the Scriptures, where thou hadst written all
+in the Old, and then lightedst us a candle to read it by, in the New,
+Testament; to these thou hadst added the book of just and useful laws,
+established by them to whom thou hast committed thy people; to those,
+the manuals, the pocket, the bosom books of our own consciences; to
+those thy particular books of all our particular sins; and to those, the
+books with seven seals, which only _the Lamb which was slain, was found
+worthy to open_;[134] which, I hope, it shall not disagree with the
+meaning of thy blessed Spirit to interpret the promulgation of their
+pardon and righteousness who are washed in the blood of that Lamb; and
+if thou refer me to these books, to a new reading, a new trial by these
+books, this fever may be but a burning in the hand and I may be saved,
+though not by my book, mine own conscience, nor by thy other books, yet
+by thy first, the book of life, thy decree for my election, and by thy
+last, the book of the Lamb, and the shedding of his blood upon me. If I
+be still under consultation, I am not condemned yet; if I be sent to
+these books, I shall not be condemned at all; for though there be
+something written in some of those books (particularly in the
+Scriptures) which some men turn to poison, yet upon these consultations
+(these confessions, these takings of our particular cases into thy
+consideration) thou intendest all for physic; and even from those
+sentences from which a too late repenter will suck desperation, he that
+seeks thee early shall receive thy morning dew, thy seasonable mercy,
+thy forward consolation.
+
+
+IX. PRAYER.
+
+O eternal and most gracious God, who art of so pure eyes as that thou
+canst not look upon sin, and we of so unpure constitutions as that we
+can present no object but sin, and therefore might justly fear that
+thou wouldst turn thine eyes for ever from us, as, though we cannot
+endure afflictions in ourselves, yet in thee we can; so, though thou
+canst not endure sin in us, yet in thy Son thou canst, and he hath taken
+upon himself, and presented to thee, all those sins which might
+displease thee in us. There is an eye in nature that kills as soon as it
+sees, the eye of a serpent; no eye in nature that nourishes us by
+looking upon us; but thine eye, O Lord, does so. Look therefore upon me,
+O Lord, in this distress and that will recall me from the borders of
+this bodily death; look upon me, and that will raise me again from that
+spiritual death in which my parents buried me when they begot me in sin,
+and in which I have pierced even to the jaws of hell by multiplying such
+heaps of actual sins upon that foundation, that root of original sin.
+Yet take me again into your consultation, O blessed and glorious
+Trinity; and though the Father know that I have defaced his image
+received in my creation; though the Son know I have neglected mine
+interest in the redemption; yet, O blessed Spirit, as thou art to my
+conscience so be to them, a witness that, at this minute, I accept that
+which I have so often, so rebelliously refused, thy blessed
+inspirations; be thou my witness to them that, at more pores than this
+slack body sweats tears, this sad soul weeps blood; and more for the
+displeasure of my God, than for the stripes of his displeasure. Take me,
+then, O blessed and glorious Trinity, into a reconsultation, and
+prescribe me any physic. If it be a long and painful holding of this
+soul in sickness, it is physic if I may discern thy hand to give it; and
+it is physic if it be a speedy departing of this soul, if I may discern
+thy hand to receive it.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[127] 2 Chron. xxv. 16.
+
+[128] Isaiah, xlii. 13.
+
+[129] Isaiah, ix. 6.
+
+[130] Isaiah, xi. 2.
+
+[131] Gen. i. 26.
+
+[132] Job, vii. 20.
+
+[133] 1 Tim. iv. 1; Hos. iv. 12; Isaiah, xix. 14.
+
+[134] Rev. vii. 1.
+
+
+
+
+X. LENTE ET SERPENTI SATAGUNT OCCURRERE MORBO.
+
+_They find the disease to steal on insensibly, and endeavour to meet
+with it so._
+
+
+X. MEDITATION.
+
+This is nature's nest of boxes: the heavens contain the earth; the
+earth, cities; cities, men. And all these are concentric; the common
+centre to them all is decay, ruin; only that is eccentric which was
+never made; only that place, or garment rather, which we can imagine but
+not demonstrate. That light, which is the very emanation of the light of
+God, in which the saints shall dwell, with which the saints shall be
+apparelled, only that bends not to this centre, to ruin; that which was
+not made of nothing is not threatened with this annihilation. All other
+things are; even angels, even our souls; they move upon the same poles,
+they bend to the same centre; and if they were not made immortal by
+preservation, their nature could not keep them from sinking to this
+centre, annihilation. In all these (the frame of the heavens, the states
+upon earth, and men in them, comprehend all), those are the greatest
+mischiefs which are least discerned; the most insensible in their ways
+come to be the most sensible in their ends. The heavens have had their
+dropsy, they drowned the world; and they shall have their fever, and
+burn the world. Of the dropsy, the flood, the world had a foreknowledge
+one hundred and twenty years before it came; and so some made provision
+against it, and were saved; the fever shall break out in an instant and
+consume all; the dropsy did no harm to the heavens from whence it fell,
+it did not put out those lights, it did not quench those heats; but the
+fever, the fire, shall burn the furnace itself, annihilate those
+heavens that breathe it out. Though the dogstar have a pestilent breath,
+an infectious exhalation, yet, because we know when it will rise, we
+clothe ourselves, and we diet ourselves, and we shadow ourselves to a
+sufficient prevention; but comets and blazing stars, whose effects or
+significations no man can interrupt or frustrate, no man foresaw: no
+almanack tells us when a blazing star will break out, the matter is
+carried up in secret; no astrologer tells us when the effects will be
+accomplished, for that is a secret of a higher sphere than the other;
+and that which is most secret is most dangerous. It is so also here in
+the societies of men, in states and commonwealths. Twenty rebellious
+drums make not so dangerous a noise as a few whisperers and secret
+plotters in corners. The cannon doth not so much hurt against a wall, as
+a mine under the wall; nor a thousand enemies that threaten, so much as
+a few that take an oath to say nothing. God knew many heavy sins of the
+people, in the wilderness and after, but still he charges them with that
+one, with murmuring, murmuring in their hearts, secret disobediences,
+secret repugnances against his declared will; and these are the most
+deadly, the most pernicious. And it is so too with the diseases of the
+body; and that is my case. The pulse, the urine, the sweat, all have
+sworn to say nothing, to give no indication of any dangerous sickness.
+My forces are not enfeebled, I find no decay in my strength; my
+provisions are not cut off, I find no abhorring in mine appetite; my
+counsels are not corrupted nor infatuated, I find no false apprehensions
+to work upon mine understanding; and yet they see that invisibly, and I
+feel that insensibly, the disease prevails. The disease hath established
+a kingdom, an empire in me, and will have certain _arcana imperii_,
+secrets of state, by which it will proceed and not be bound to declare
+them. But yet against those secret conspiracies in the state, the
+magistrate hath the rack; and against these insensible diseases
+physicians have their examiners; and those these employ now.
+
+
+X. EXPOSTULATION.
+
+My God, my God, I have been told, and told by relation, by her own
+brother that did it, by thy servant Nazianzen, that his sister in the
+vehemency of her prayer, did use to threaten thee with a holy
+importunity, with a pious impudency. I dare not do so, O God; but as thy
+servant Augustine wished that Adam had not sinned, therefore that Christ
+might not have died, may I not to this one purpose wish that if the
+serpent, before the temptation of Eve, did go upright and speak,[135]
+that he did so still, because I should the sooner hear him if he spoke,
+the sooner see him if he went upright? In his curse I am cursed too; his
+creeping undoes me; for howsoever he begin at the heel, and do but
+bruise that, yet he, and _death_ in him, _is come into our
+windows_;[136] into our eyes and ears, the entrances and inlets of our
+soul. He works upon us in secret and we do not discern him; and one
+great work of his upon us is to make us so like himself as to sin in
+secret, that others may not see us; but his masterpiece is to make us
+sin in secret, so as that we may not see ourselves sin. For the first,
+the hiding of our sins from other men, he hath induced that which was
+his offspring from the beginning, a lie;[137] for man is, in nature, yet
+in possession of some such sparks of ingenuity and nobleness, as that,
+but to disguise evil, he would not lie. The body, the sin, is the
+serpent's; and the garment that covers it, the lie, is his too. These
+are his, but the hiding of sin from ourselves is he himself: when we
+have the sting of the serpent in us, and do not sting ourselves, the
+venom of sin, and no remorse for sin, then, as thy blessed Son said of
+Judas, _He is a devil_;[138] not that he had one, but was one; so we are
+become devils to ourselves, and we have not only a serpent in our bosom,
+but we ourselves are to ourselves that serpent. How far did thy servant
+David press upon thy pardon in that petition, _Cleanse thou me from
+secret sins_?[139] Can any sin be secret? for a great part of our sins,
+though, says thy prophet, we conceive them in the dark, upon our bed,
+yet, says he, we do them in the light; there are many sins which we
+glory in doing, and would not do if nobody should know them. Thy blessed
+servant Augustine confesses that he was ashamed of his shamefacedness
+and tenderness of conscience, and that he often belied himself with sins
+which he never did, lest he should be unacceptable to his sinful
+companions. But if we would conceal them (thy prophet found such a
+desire, and such a practice in some, when he said, _Thou hast trusted in
+thy wickedness, and thou hast said, None shall see me_[140]), yet can we
+conceal them? Thou, O God, canst hear of them by others: the voice of
+Abel's blood will tell thee of Cain's murder;[141] the heavens
+themselves will tell thee. Heaven shall reveal his iniquity; a small
+creature alone shall do it, _A bird of the air shall carry the voice,
+and tell the matter_;[142] thou wilt trouble no informer, thou thyself
+revealedst Adam's sin to thyself;[143] and the manifestation of sin is
+so full to thee, as that thou shalt reveal all to all; _Thou shalt
+bring every work to judgment, with every secret thing;[144] and there
+is nothing covered that shall not be revealed_.[145] But, O my God,
+there is another way of knowing my sins, which thou lovest better than
+any of these; to know them by my confession. As physic works, so it
+draws the peccant humour to itself, that, when it is gathered together,
+the weight of itself may carry that humour away; so thy Spirit returns
+to my memory my former sins, that, being so recollected, they may pour
+out themselves by confession. _When I kept silence_, says thy servant
+David, _day and night thy hand was heavy upon me_; but when I said, _I
+will confess my transgressions unto the Lord, thou forgavest the
+iniquity of my sin_.[146] Thou interpretest the very purpose of
+confession so well, as that thou scarce leavest any new mercy for the
+action itself. This mercy thou leavest, that thou armest us thereupon
+against relapses into the sins which we have confessed. And that mercy
+which thy servant Augustine apprehends when he says to thee, "Thou hast
+forgiven me those sins which I have done, and those sins which only by
+thy grace I have not done": they were done in our inclination to them,
+and even that inclination needs thy mercy, and that mercy he calls a
+pardon. And these are most truly secret sins, because they were never
+done, and because no other man, nor I myself, but only thou knowest, how
+many and how great sins I have escaped by thy grace, which, without
+that, I should have multiplied against thee.
+
+
+X. PRAYER.
+
+O eternal and most gracious God, who as thy Son Christ Jesus, though he
+knew all things, yet said he knew not the day of judgment, because he
+knew it not so as that he might tell us; so though thou knowest all my
+sins, yet thou knowest them not to my comfort, except thou know them by
+my telling them to thee. How shall I bring to thy knowledge, by that
+way, those sins which I myself know not? If I accuse myself of original
+sin, wilt thou ask me if I know what original sin is? I know not enough
+of it to satisfy others, but I know enough to condemn myself, and to
+solicit thee. If I confess to thee the sins of my youth, wilt thou ask
+me if I know what those sins were? I know them not so well as to name
+them all, nor am sure to live hours enough to name them all (for I did
+them then faster than I can speak them now, when every thing that I did
+conduced to some sin), but I know them so well as to know that nothing
+but thy mercy is so infinite as they. If the naming of sins of thought,
+word and deed, of sins of omission and of action, of sins against thee,
+against my neighbour and against myself, of sins unrepented and sins
+relapsed into after repentance, of sins of ignorance and sins against
+the testimony of my conscience, of sins against thy commandments, sins
+against thy Son's Prayer, and sins against our own creed, of sins
+against the laws of that church, and sins against the laws of that state
+in which thou hast given me my station; if the naming of these sins
+reach not home to all mine, I know what will. O Lord, pardon me, me, all
+those sins which thy Son Christ Jesus suffered for, who suffered for all
+the sins of all the world; for there is no sin amongst all those which
+had not been my sin, if thou hadst not been my God, and antedated me a
+pardon in thy preventing grace. And since sin, in the nature of it,
+retains still so much of the author of it that it is a serpent,
+insensibly insinuating itself into my soul, let thy brazen serpent (the
+contemplation of thy Son crucified for me) be evermore present to me,
+for my recovery against the sting of the first serpent; that so, as I
+have a Lion against a lion, the Lion of the tribe of Judah against that
+lion that seeks whom he may devour, so I may have a serpent against a
+serpent, the wisdom of the serpent against the malice of the serpent,
+and both against that lion and serpent, forcible and subtle temptations,
+thy dove with thy olive in thy ark, humility and peace and
+reconciliation to thee, by the ordinances of thy church. Amen.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[135] Josephus.
+
+[136] Jer. ix. 21.
+
+[137] John, viii. 44.
+
+[138] John, vi. 70.
+
+[139] Psalm xix. 12.
+
+[140] Isaiah, xlvii. 10.
+
+[141] Gen. iv. 10.
+
+[142] Eccles. x. 20.
+
+[143] Gen. iii. 8.
+
+[144] Eccles. xii. 14.
+
+[145] Matt. x. 26.
+
+[146] Psalm xxxii. 3-5.
+
+
+
+
+XI. NOBILIBUSQUE TRAHUNT, A CINCTO CORDE, VENENUM, SUCCIS ET GEMMIS, ET
+QUAE GENEROSA, MINISTRANT ARS, ET NATURA, INSTILLANT.
+
+_They use cordials, to keep the venom and malignity of the disease from
+the heart._
+
+
+XI. MEDITATION.
+
+Whence can we take a better argument, a clearer demonstration, that all
+the greatness of this world is built upon opinion of others and hath in
+itself no real being, nor power of subsistence, than from the heart of
+man? It is always in action and motion, still busy, still pretending to
+do all, to furnish all the powers and faculties with all that they have;
+but if an enemy dare rise up against it, it is the soonest endangered,
+the soonest defeated of any part. The brain will hold out longer than
+it, and the liver longer than that; they will endure a siege; but an
+unnatural heat, a rebellious heat, will blow up the heart, like a mine,
+in a minute. But howsoever, since the heart hath the birthright and
+primogeniture, and that it is nature's eldest son in us, the part which
+is first born to life in man, and that the other parts, as younger
+brethren, and servants in his family, have a dependance upon it, it is
+reason that the principal care be had of it, though it be not the
+strongest part, as the eldest is oftentimes not the strongest of the
+family. And since the brain, and liver, and heart hold not a triumvirate
+in man, a sovereignty equally shed upon them all, for his well-being, as
+the four elements do for his very being, but the heart alone is in the
+principality, and in the throne, as king, the rest as subjects, though
+in eminent place and office, must contribute to that, as children to
+their parents, as all persons to all kinds of superiors, though
+oftentimes those parents or those superiors be not of stronger parts
+than themselves, that serve and obey them that are weaker. Neither doth
+this obligation fall upon us, by second dictates of nature, by
+consequences and conclusions arising out of nature, or derived from
+nature by discourse (as many things bind us even by the law of nature,
+and yet not by the primary law of nature; as all laws of propriety in
+that which we possess are of the law of nature, which law is, to give
+every one his own, and yet in the primary law of nature there was no
+propriety, no _meum et tuum_, but an universal community overall; so the
+obedience of superiors is of the law of nature, and yet in the primary
+law of nature there was no superiority, no magistracy); but this
+contribution of assistance of all to the sovereign, of all parts to the
+heart, is from the very first dictates of nature, which is, in the first
+place, to have care of our own preservation, to look first to
+ourselves; for therefore doth the physician intermit the present care of
+brain or liver, because there is a possibility that they may subsist,
+though there be not a present and a particular care had of them, but
+there is no possibility that they can subsist, if the heart perish: and
+so, when we seem to begin with others, in such assistances, indeed, we
+do begin with ourselves, and we ourselves are principally in our
+contemplation; and so all these officious and mutual assistances are but
+compliments towards others, and our true end is ourselves. And this is
+the reward of the pains of kings; sometimes they need the power of law
+to be obeyed; and when they seem to be obeyed voluntarily, they who do
+it do it for their own sakes. O how little a thing is all the greatness
+of man and through how false glasses doth he make shift to multiply it,
+and magnify it to himself! And yet this is also another misery of this
+king of man, the heart, which is also applicable to the kings of this
+world, great men, that the venom and poison of every pestilential
+disease directs itself to the heart, affects that (pernicious
+affection), and the malignity of ill men is also directed upon the
+greatest and the best; and not only greatness but goodness loses the
+vigour of being an antidote or cordial against it. And as the noblest
+and most generous cordials that nature or art afford, or can prepare, if
+they be often taken and made familiar, become no cordials, nor have any
+extraordinary operation, so the greatest cordial of the heart, patience,
+if it be much exercised, exalts the venom and the malignity of the
+enemy, and the more we suffer the more we are insulted upon. When God
+had made this earth of nothing, it was but a little help that he had, to
+make other things of this earth: nothing can be nearer nothing than this
+earth; and yet how little of this earth is the greatest man! He thinks
+he treads upon the earth, that all is under his feet, and the brain
+that thinks so is but earth; his highest region, the flesh that covers
+that, is but earth, and even the top of that, that wherein so many
+Absaloms take so much pride, is but a bush growing upon that turf of
+earth. How little of the world is the earth! And yet that is all that
+man hath or is. How little of a man is the heart, and yet it is all by
+which he is; and this continually subject not only to foreign poisons
+conveyed by others, but to intestine poisons bred in ourselves by
+pestilential sicknesses. O who, if before he had a being he could have
+sense of this misery, would buy a being here upon these conditions?
+
+
+XI. EXPOSTULATION.
+
+My God, my God, all that thou askest of me is my heart, _My Son, give me
+thy heart_.[147] Am I thy Son as long as I have but my heart? Wilt thou
+give me an inheritance, a filiation, any thing for my heart? O thou, who
+saidst to Satan, _Hast thou considered my servant Job, that there is
+none like him upon the earth_,[148] shall my fear, shall my zeal, shall
+my jealousy, have leave to say to thee, Hast thou considered my heart,
+that there is not so perverse a heart upon earth; and wouldst thou have
+that, and shall I be thy son, thy eternal Son's coheir, for giving that?
+_The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who
+can know it?_[149] He that asks that question makes the answer, I the
+Lord search the heart. When didst thou search mine? Dost thou think to
+find it, as thou madest it, in Adam? Thou hast searched since, and found
+all these gradations in the ill of our hearts, _that every imagination
+of the thoughts of our hearts is only evil continually_.[150] Dost thou
+remember this, and wouldst thou have my heart? O God of all light, I
+know thou knowest all, and it is thou[151] that declarest unto man what
+is his heart. Without thee, O sovereign Goodness, I could not know how
+ill my heart were. Thou hast declared unto me, in thy word, that for all
+this deluge of evil that hath surrounded all hearts, yet thou soughtest
+and foundest a man after thine own heart;[152] that thou couldst and
+wouldst give thy people pastors according to thine own heart;[153] and I
+can gather out of thy word so good testimony of the hearts of men as to
+find single hearts, docile and apprehensive hearts; hearts that can,
+hearts that have learned; wise hearts in one place, and in another in a
+great degree wise, perfect hearts; straight hearts, no perverseness
+without; and clean hearts, no foulness within: such hearts I can find in
+thy word; and if my heart were such a heart, I would give thee my heart.
+But I find stony hearts too,[154] and I have made mine such: I have
+found hearts that are snares;[155] and I have conversed with such;
+hearts that burn like ovens;[156] and the fuel of lust, and envy, and
+ambition, hath inflamed mine; hearts in which their masters trust, and
+_he that trusteth in his own heart is a fool_;[157] his confidence in
+his own moral constancy and civil fortitude will betray him, when thou
+shalt cast a spiritual damp, a heaviness and dejection of spirit upon
+him. I have found these hearts, and a worse than these, a heart into the
+which the devil himself is entered, Judas's heart.[158] The first kind
+of heart, alas, my God, I have not; the last are not hearts to be given
+to thee. What shall I do? Without that present I cannot be thy son, and
+I have it not. To those of the first kind thou givest joyfulness of
+heart,[159] and I have not that; to those of the other kind thou givest
+faintness of heart;[160] and blessed be thou, O God, for that
+forbearance, I have not that yet. There is then a middle kind of hearts,
+not so perfect as to be given but that the very giving mends them; not
+so desperate as not to be accepted but that the very accepting dignifies
+them. This is a melting heart,[161] and a troubled heart, and a wounded
+heart, and a broken heart, and a contrite heart; and by the powerful
+working of thy piercing Spirit such a heart I have. Thy Samuel spake
+unto all the house of thy Israel, and said, _If you return to the Lord
+with all your hearts, prepare your hearts unto the Lord_.[162] If my
+heart be prepared, it is a returning heart. And if thou see it upon the
+way, thou wilt carry it home. Nay, the preparation is thine too; this
+melting, this wounding, this breaking, this contrition, which I have
+now, is thy way to thy end; and those discomforts are, for all that,
+_the earnest of thy Spirit in my heart_;[163] and where thou givest
+earnest, thou wilt perform the bargain. Nabal was confident upon his
+wine, but _in the morning his heart died within him_.[164] Thou, O Lord,
+hast given me wormwood, and I have had some diffidence upon that; and
+thou hast cleared a morning to me again, and my heart is alive. David's
+heart smote him when he cut off the skirt from Saul;[165] and his heart
+smote him when he had numbered his people:[166] my heart hath struck me
+when I come to number my sins; but that blow is not to death, because
+those sins are not to death, but my heart lives in thee. But yet as long
+as I remain in this great hospital, this sick, this diseaseful world, as
+long as I remain in this leprous house, this flesh of mine, this heart,
+though thus prepared for thee, prepared by thee, will still be subject
+to the invasion of malign and pestilent vapours. But I have my cordials
+in thy promise; _when I shall know the plague of my heart, and pray unto
+thee in thy house_,[167] thou wilt preserve that heart from all mortal
+force of that infection; _and the peace of God, which passeth all
+understandings shall keep my heart and mind through Christ Jesus_.[168]
+
+
+XI. PRAYER.
+
+O eternal and most gracious God, who in thy upper house, the heavens,
+though there be many mansions, yet art alike and equally in every
+mansion; but here in thy lower house, though thou fillest all, yet art
+otherwise in some rooms thereof than in others; otherwise in thy church
+than in my chamber, and otherwise in thy sacraments than in my prayers;
+so though thou be always present and always working in every room of
+this thy house, my body, yet I humbly beseech thee to manifest always a
+more effectual presence in my heart than in the other offices. Into the
+house of thine anointed, disloyal persons, traitors, will come; into thy
+house, the church, hypocrites and idolators will come; into some rooms
+of this thy house, my body, temptations will come, infections will come;
+but be my heart thy bedchamber, O my God, and thither let them not
+enter. Job made a covenant with his eyes, but not his making of that
+covenant, but thy dwelling in his heart, enabled him to keep that
+covenant. Thy Son himself had a sadness in his soul to death, and he had
+a reluctation, a deprecation of death, in the approaches thereof; but he
+had his cordial too, _Yet not my will, but thine be done_. And as thou
+hast not delivered us, thine adopted sons, from these infectious
+temptations, so neither hast thou delivered us over to them, nor
+withheld thy cordials from us. I was baptized in thy cordial water
+against original sin, and I have drunk of thy cordial blood, for my
+recovery from actual and habitual sin, in the other sacrament. Thou, O
+Lord, who hast imprinted all medicinal virtues which are in all
+creatures, and hast made even the flesh of vipers to assist in cordials,
+art able to make this present sickness, everlasting health, this
+weakness, everlasting strength, and this very dejection and faintness of
+heart, a powerful cordial. When thy blessed Son cried out to thee, _My
+God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?_ thou didst reach out thy hand
+to him; but not to deliver his sad soul, but to receive his holy soul:
+neither did he longer desire to hold it of thee, but to recommend it to
+thee. I see thine hand upon me now, O Lord, and I ask not why it comes,
+what it intends; whether thou wilt bid it stay still in this body for
+some time, or bid it meet thee this day in paradise, I ask not, not in a
+wish, not in a thought. Infirmity of nature, curiosity of mind, are
+temptations that offer; but a silent and absolute obedience to thy will,
+even before I know it, is my cordial. Preserve that to me, O my God, and
+that will preserve me to thee; that, when thou hast catechised me with
+affliction here, I may take a greater degree, and serve thee in a higher
+place, in thy kingdom of joy and glory. Amen.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[147] Prov. xxiii. 26.
+
+[148] Job, i. 8.
+
+[149] Jer. xvii. 9.
+
+[150] Gen. vi. 5.
+
+[151] Amos, iv. 13.
+
+[152] 1 Sam. xiii. 14.
+
+[153] Jer. iii. 15.
+
+[154] Ezek. xi. 19.
+
+[155] Eccles. vii. 26.
+
+[156] Hos. vii. 6.
+
+[157] Prov. xxviii. 26.
+
+[158] John, xiii. 2.
+
+[159] Ecclus. l. 23.
+
+[160] Lev. xxvi. 36.
+
+[161] Josh. ii. 11.
+
+[162] 1 Sam. vii. 3.
+
+[163] 2 Cor. i. 22.
+
+[164] 1 Sam. xxv. 37.
+
+[165] 1 Sam. xxiv. 5.
+
+[166] 2 Sam. xxiv. 10.
+
+[167] 1 Kings, viii. 38.
+
+[168] Phil. iv. 7.
+
+
+
+
+ XII. ------------------ Spirante columba
+ Supposita pedibus, revocantur ad ima vapores.
+
+_They apply pigeons, to draw the vapours from the head._
+
+
+XII. MEDITATION.
+
+What will not kill a man if a vapour will? How great an elephant, how
+small a mouse destroys! To die by a bullet is the soldier's daily bread;
+but few men die by hail-shot. A man is more worth than to be sold for
+single money; a life to be valued above a trifle. If this were a violent
+shaking of the air by thunder or by cannon, in that case the air is
+condensed above the thickness of water, of water baked into ice, almost
+petrified, almost made stone, and no wonder that kills; but that which
+is but a vapour, and a vapour not forced but breathed, should kill, that
+our nurse should overlay us, and air that nourishes us should destroy
+us, but that it is a half atheism to murmur against Nature, who is God's
+immediate commissioner, who would not think himself miserable to be put
+into the hands of Nature, who does not only set him up for a mark for
+others to shoot at, but delights herself to blow him up like a glass,
+till she see him break, even with her own breath? Nay, if this
+infectious vapour were sought for, or travelled to, as Pliny hunted
+after the vapour of AEtna and dared and challenged Death in the form of a
+vapour to do his worst, and felt the worst, he died; or if this vapour
+were met withal in an ambush, and we surprised with it, out of a long
+shut well, or out of a new opened mine, who would lament, who would
+accuse, when we had nothing to accuse, none to lament against but
+fortune, who is less than a vapour? But when ourselves are the well
+that breathes out this exhalation, the oven that spits out this fiery
+smoke, the mine that spews out this suffocating and strangling damp, who
+can ever, after this, aggravate his sorrow by this circumstance, that it
+was his neighbour, his familiar friend, his brother, that destroyed him,
+and destroyed him with a whispering and a calumniating breath, when we
+ourselves do it to ourselves by the same means, kill ourselves with our
+own vapours? Or if these occasions of this self-destruction had any
+contribution from our own wills, any assistance from our own intentions,
+nay, from our own errors, we might divide the rebuke, and chide
+ourselves as much as them. Fevers upon wilful distempers of drink and
+surfeits, consumptions upon intemperances and licentiousness, madness
+upon misplacing or overbending our natural faculties, proceed from
+ourselves, and so as that ourselves are in the plot, and we are not only
+passive, but active too, to our own destruction. But what have I done,
+either to breed or to breathe these vapours? They tell me it is my
+melancholy; did I infuse, did I drink in melancholy into myself? It is
+my thoughtfulness; was I not made to think? It is my study; doth not my
+calling call for that? I have done nothing wilfully, perversely toward
+it, yet must suffer in it, die by it. There are too many examples of men
+that have been their own executioners, and that have made hard shift to
+be so: some have always had poison about them, in a hollow ring upon
+their finger, and some in their pen that they used to write with; some
+have beat out their brains at the wall of their prison, and some have
+eat the fire out of their chimneys;[169] and one is said to have come
+nearer our case than so, to have strangled himself, though his hands
+were bound, by crushing his throat between his knees. But I do nothing
+upon myself, and yet am mine own executioner. And we have heard of death
+upon small occasions and by scornful instruments: a pin, a comb, a hair
+pulled, hath gangrened and killed; but when I have said a vapour, if I
+were asked again what is a vapour, I could not tell, it is so insensible
+a thing; so near nothing is that that reduces us to nothing. But extend
+this vapour, rarefy it; from so narrow a room as our natural bodies, to
+any politic body, to a state. That which is fume in us is, in a state
+rumour; and these vapours in us, which we consider here pestilent and
+infectious fumes, are, in a state, infecitious rumours, detracting and
+dishonourable calumnies, libels. The heart in that body is the king, and
+the brain his council; and the whole magistracy, that ties all together,
+is the sinews which proceed from thence; and the life of all is honour,
+and just respect, and due reverence; and therefore, when these vapours,
+these venomous rumours, are directed against these noble parts, the
+whole body suffers. But yet for all their privileges, they are not
+privileged from our misery; that as the vapours most pernicious to us
+arise in our own bodies, so do the most dishonourable rumours, and those
+that wound a state most arise at home. What ill air that I could have
+met in the street, what channel, what shambles, what dunghill, what
+vault, could have hurt me so much as these homebred vapours? What
+fugitive, what almsman of any foreign state, can do so much harm as a
+detractor, a libeller, a scornful jester at home? For as they that write
+of poisons, and of creatures naturally disposed to the ruin of man, do
+as well mention the flea as the viper[170], because the flea, though he
+kill none, he does all the harm he can; so even these libellous and
+licentious jesters utter the venom they have, though sometimes virtue,
+and always power, be a good pigeon to draw this vapour from the head
+and from doing any deadly harm there.
+
+
+XII. EXPOSTULATION.
+
+My God, my God, as thy servant James, when he asks that question, _What
+is your life?_ provides me my answer, _It is even a vapour, that
+appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away_;[171] so, if he
+did ask me what is your death, I am provided of my answer, it is a
+vapour too; and why should it not be all one to me, whether I live or
+die, if life and death be all one, both a vapour? Thou hast made vapour
+so indifferent a thing as that thy blessings and thy judgments are
+equally expressed by it, and is made by thee the hieroglyphic of both.
+Why should not that be always good by which thou hast declared thy
+plentiful goodness to us? _A vapour went up from the earth, and watered
+the whole face of the ground._[172] And that by which thou hast imputed
+a goodness to us, and wherein thou hast accepted our service to thee,
+sacrifices; for sacrifices were vapours;[173] and in them it is said,
+that a _thick cloud of incense went up to thee_.[174] So it is of that
+wherein thou comest to us, the dew of heaven, and of that wherein we
+come to thee, both are vapours; and he, in whom we have and are all that
+we are or have, temporally or spiritually, thy blessed Son, in the
+person of Wisdom, is called so too; _She is_ (that is, he is) _the
+vapour of the power of God, and the pure influence from the glory of the
+Almighty._[175] Hast thou, thou, O my God, perfumed vapour with thine
+own breath, with so many sweet acceptations in thine own word, and shall
+this vapour receive an ill and infectious sense? It must; for, since we
+have displeased thee with that which is but vapour (for what is sin but
+a vapour, but a smoke, though such a smoke as takes away our sight, and
+disables us from seeing our danger), it is just that thou punish us with
+vapours too. For so thou dost, as the wise man tells us, thou canst
+punish us by those things wherein we offend thee; as he hath expressed
+it there, _by beasts newly created, breathing vapours_.[176] Therefore
+that commination of thine, by thy prophet, _I will show wonders in the
+heaven, and in the earth, blood and fire, and pillars of smoke_;[177]
+thine apostle, who knew thy meaning best, calls _vapours of smoke_.[178]
+One prophet presents thee in thy terribleness so, _There went out a
+smoke at his nostrils_,[179] and another the effect of thine anger so,
+_The house was filled with smoke_;[180] and he that continues his
+prophecy as long as the world can continue, describes the miseries of
+the latter times so, _Out of the bottomless pit arose a smoke, that
+darkened the sun, and out of that smoke came locusts, who had the power
+of scorpions_.[181] Now all smokes begin in fire, and all these will end
+so too: the smoke of sin and of thy wrath will end in the fire of hell.
+But hast thou afforded us no means to evaporate these smokes, to
+withdraw these vapours? When thine angels fell from heaven, thou tookest
+into thy care the reparation of that place, and didst it by assuming, by
+drawing us thither; when we fell from thee here, in this world, thou
+tookest into thy care the reparation of this place too, and didst it by
+assuming us another way, by descending down to assume our nature, in thy
+Son. So that though our last act be an ascending to glory (we shall
+ascend to the place of angels), yet our first act is to go the way of
+thy Son, descending, and the way of thy blessed Spirit too, who
+descended in the dove. Therefore hast thou been pleased to afford us
+this remedy in nature, by this application of a dove to our lower parts,
+to make these vapours in our bodies to descend, and to make that a type
+to us, that, by the visitation of thy Spirit, the vapours of sin shall
+descend, and we tread them under our feet. At the baptism of thy Son,
+the Dove descended, and at the exalting of thine apostles to preach, the
+same Spirit descended. Let us draw down the vapours of our own pride,
+our own wits, our own wills, our own inventions, to the simplicity of
+thy sacraments and the obedience of thy word; and these doves, thus
+applied, shall make us live.
+
+
+XII. PRAYER.
+
+O eternal and most gracious God, who, though thou have suffered us to
+destroy ourselves, and hast not given us the power of reparation in
+ourselves, hast yet afforded us such means of reparation as may easily
+and familiarly be compassed by us, prosper, I humbly beseech thee, this
+means of bodily assistance in this thy ordinary creature, and prosper
+thy means of spiritual assistance in thy holy ordinances. And as thou
+hast carried this thy creature, the dove, through all thy ways through
+nature, and made it naturally proper to conduce medicinally to our
+bodily health, through the law, and made it a sacrifice for sin there,
+and through the gospel, and made it, and thy Spirit in it, a witness of
+thy Son's baptism there, so carry it, and the qualities of it, home to
+my soul, and imprint there that simplicity, that mildness, that
+harmlessness, which thou hast imprinted by nature in this creature. That
+so all vapours of all disobedience to thee, being subdued under my
+feet, I may, in the power and triumph of thy Son, tread victoriously
+upon my grave, and trample upon the lion and dragon[182] that lie under
+it to devour me. Thou, O Lord, by the prophet, callest the dove the
+_dove of the valleys_, but promisest that the _dove of the valleys shall
+be upon the mountain_.[183] As thou hast laid me low in this valley of
+sickness, so low as that I am made fit for that question asked in the
+field of bones, _Son of man, can these bones live?_[184] so, in thy good
+time, carry me up to these mountains of which even in this valley thou
+affordest me a prospect, the mountain where thou dwellest, the holy
+hill, unto which none can ascend _but he that hath clean hands_, which
+none can have but by that one and that strong way of making them clean,
+in the blood of thy Son Christ Jesus. Amen.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[169] Coma, latro. in Val. Max.
+
+[170] Ardoinus.
+
+[171] James, iv. 14.
+
+[172] Gen. ii. 6.
+
+[173] Lev. xvi. 13.
+
+[174] Ezek. viii. 11.
+
+[175] Wisd. vii. 25.
+
+[176] Wisd. xi. 18.
+
+[177] Joel, ii. 30.
+
+[178] Acts, ii. 19.
+
+[179] Psalm xviii. 8.
+
+[180] Isaiah, vi. 4.
+
+[181] Rev. ix. 2.
+
+
+
+
+XIII. INGENIUMQUE MALUM, NUMEROSO STIGMATE, FASSUS PELLITUR AD PECTUS,
+MORBIQUE SUBURBIA, MORBUS.
+
+_The sickness declares the infection and malignity thereof by spots._
+
+
+XIII. MEDITATION.
+
+We say that the world is made of sea and land, as though they were
+equal; but we know that there is more sea in the Western than in the
+Eastern hemisphere. We say that the firmament is full of stars, as
+though it were equally full; but we know that there are more stars under
+the Northern than under the Southern pole. We say the elements of man
+are misery and happiness, as though he had an equal proportion of both,
+and the days of man vicissitudinary, as though he had as many good days
+as ill, and that he lived under a perpetual equinoctial, night and day
+equal, good and ill fortune in the same measure. But it is far from
+that; he drinks misery, and he tastes happiness; he mows misery, and he
+gleans happiness; he journeys in misery, he does but walk in happiness;
+and, which is worst, his misery is positive and dogmatical, his
+happiness is but disputable and problematical: all men call misery
+misery, but happiness changes the name by the taste of man. In this
+accident that befalls me, now that this sickness declares itself by
+spots to be a malignant and pestilential disease, if there be a comfort
+in the declaration, that thereby the physicians see more clearly what to
+do, there may be as much discomfort in this, that the malignity may be
+so great as that all that they can do shall do nothing; that an enemy
+declares himself then, when he is able to subsist, and to pursue, and to
+achieve his ends, is no great comfort. In intestine conspiracies,
+voluntary confessions do more good than confessions upon the rack; in
+these infections, when nature herself confesses and cries out by these
+outward declarations which she is able to put forth of herself, they
+minister comfort; but when all is by the strength of cordials, it is but
+a confession upon the rack, by which, though we come to know the malice
+of that man, yet we do not know whether there be not as much malice in
+his heart then as before his confession; we are sure of his treason, but
+not of his repentance; sure of him, but not of his accomplices. It is a
+faint comfort to know the worst when the worst is remediless, and a
+weaker than that to know much ill, and not to know that that is the
+worst. A woman is comforted with the birth of her son, her body is eased
+of a burden; but if she could prophetically read his history, how ill a
+man, perchance how ill a son, he would prove, she should receive a
+greater burden into her mind. Scarce any purchase that is not clogged
+with secret incumbrances; scarce any happiness that hath not in it so
+much of the nature of false and base money, as that the allay is more
+than the metal. Nay, is it not so (at least much towards it) even in the
+exercise of virtues? I must be poor and want before I can exercise the
+virtue of gratitude; miserable, and in torment, before I can exercise
+the virtue of patience. How deep do we dig, and for how coarse gold! And
+what other touchstone have we of our gold but comparison, whether we be
+as happy as others, or as ourselves at other times? O poor step toward
+being well, when these spots do only tell us that we are worse than we
+were sure of before.
+
+
+XIII. EXPOSTULATION.
+
+My God, my God, thou hast made this sick bed thine altar, and I have no
+other sacrifice to offer but myself; and wilt thou accept no spotted
+sacrifice? Doth thy Son dwell bodily in this flesh that thou shouldst
+look for an unspottedness here? or is the Holy Ghost the soul of this
+body, as he is of thy spouse, who is therefore _all fair, and no spot in
+her_?[185] or hath thy Son himself no spots, who hath all our stains and
+deformities in him? or hath thy spouse, thy church, no spots, when every
+particular limb of that fair and spotless body, every particular soul in
+that church, is full of stains and spots? Thou bidst us _hate the
+garment that is spotted with the flesh_.[186] The flesh itself is the
+garment, and it spotteth itself with itself. And _if I wash myself with
+snow water, mine own clothes shall make me abominable_;[187] and yet _no
+man yet ever hated his own flesh_.[188] Lord, if thou look for a
+spotlessness, whom wilt thou look upon? Thy mercy may go a great way in
+my soul and yet not leave me without spots; thy corrections may go far
+and burn deep, and yet not leave me spotless: thy children apprehended
+that, when they said, _From our former iniquity we are not cleansed
+until this day, though there was a plague in the congregation of the
+Lord_.[189] Thou rainest upon us, and yet dost not always mollify all
+our hardness; thou kindlest thy fires in us, and yet dost not always
+burn up all our dross; thou healest our wounds, and yet leavest scars;
+thou purgest the blood, and yet leavest spots. But the spots that thou
+hatest are the spots that we hide. The carvers of images cover
+spots,[190] says the wise man; when we hide our spots, we become
+idolators of our own stains, of our own foulnesses. But if my spots come
+forth, by what means soever, whether by the strength of nature, by
+voluntary confession (for grace is the nature of a regenerate man, and
+the power of grace is the strength of nature), or by the virtue of
+cordials (for even thy corrections are cordials), if they come forth
+either way, thou receivest that confession with a gracious
+interpretation. When thy servant Jacob practised an invention to procure
+spots in his sheep,[191] thou didst prosper his rods; and thou dost
+prosper thine own rods, when corrections procure the discovery of our
+spots, the humble manifestation of our sins to thee; till then thou
+mayst justly say, _The whole need not the physician_;[192] till we tell
+thee in our sickness we think ourselves whole, till we show our spots,
+thou appliest no medicine. But since I do that, shall I not, _Lord, lift
+up my face without spot, and be steadfast, and not fear_?[193] Even my
+spots belong to thy Son's body, and are part of that which he came down
+to this earth to fetch, and challenge, and assume to himself. When I
+open my spots I do but present him with that which is his; and till I do
+so, I detain and withhold his right. When therefore thou seest them upon
+me, as his, and seest them by this way of confession, they shall not
+appear to me as the pinches of death, to decline my fear to hell (for
+thou hast not left thy holy one in hell, thy Son is not there); but
+these spots upon my breast, and upon my soul, shall appear to me as the
+constellations of the firmament, to direct my contemplation to that
+place where thy Son is, thy right hand.
+
+
+XIII. PRAYER.
+
+O eternal and most gracious God, who as thou givest all for nothing, if
+we consider any precedent merit in us, so givest nothing for nothing, if
+we consider the acknowledgment and thankfulness which thou lookest for
+after, accept my humble thanks, both for thy mercy, and for this
+particular mercy, that in thy judgment I can discern thy mercy, and find
+comfort in thy corrections. I know, O Lord, the ordinary discomfort that
+accompanies that phrase, that the house is visited, and that, that thy
+marks and thy tokens are upon the patient; but what a wretched and
+disconsolate hermitage is that house which is not visited by thee, and
+what a waif and stray is that man that hath not thy marks upon him?
+These heats, O Lord, which thou hast brought upon this body, are but thy
+chafing of the wax, that thou mightst seal me to thee: these spots are
+but the letters in which thou hast written thine own name and conveyed
+thyself to me; whether for a present possession, by taking me now, or
+for a future reversion, by glorifying thyself in my stay here, I limit
+not, I condition not, I choose not, I wish not, no more than the house
+or land that passeth by any civil conveyance. Only be thou ever present
+to me, O my God, and this bedchamber and thy bedchamber shall be all one
+room, and the closing of these bodily eyes here, and the opening of the
+eyes of my soul there, all one act.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[182] Psalm xci. 13.
+
+[183] Ezek. vii. 16.
+
+[184] Ezek. xxxvii. 3.
+
+[185] Cant. iv. 7.
+
+[186] Jude, 23.
+
+[187] Job, ix. 30
+
+[188] Eph. v. 29
+
+[189] Josh. xxii. 17
+
+[190] Wisd. xiii. 14
+
+[191] Gen. xxx. 33
+
+[192] Matt. ix. 12
+
+[193] Job, xi. 15.
+
+
+
+
+XIV. IDQUE NOTANT CRITICIS MEDICI EVENISSE DIEBUS.
+
+_The physicians observe these accidents to have fallen upon the critical
+days._
+
+
+XIV. MEDITATION.
+
+I would not make man worse than he is, nor his condition more miserable
+than it is. But could I though I would? As a man cannot flatter God, nor
+overpraise him, so a man cannot injure man, nor undervalue him. Thus
+much must necessarily be presented to his remembrance, that those false
+happinesses which he hath in this world, have their times, and their
+seasons, and their critical days; and they are judged and denominated
+according to the times when they befall us. What poor elements are our
+happinesses made of, if time, time which we can scarce consider to be
+any thing, be an essential part of our happiness! All things are done in
+some place; but if we consider place to be no more but the next hollow
+superficies of the air, alas! how thin and fluid a thing is air, and how
+thin a film is a superficies, and a superficies of air! All things are
+done in time too, but if we consider time to be but the measure of
+motion, and howsoever it may seem to have three stations, past, present,
+and future, yet the first and last of these are not (one is not now, and
+the other is not yet), and that which you call present, is not now the
+same that it was when you began to call it so in this line (before you
+sound that word present, or that monosyllable now, the present and the
+now is past). If this imaginary, half-nothing time, be of the essence of
+our happinesses, how can they be thought durable? Time is not so; how
+can they be thought to be? Time is not so; not so considered in any of
+the parts thereof. If we consider eternity, into that time never
+entered; eternity is not an everlasting flux of time, but time is a
+short parenthesis in a long period; and eternity had been the same as it
+is, though time had never been. If we consider, not eternity, but
+perpetuity; not that which had no time to begin in, but which shall
+outlive time, and be when time shall be no more, what a minute is the
+life of the durablest creature compared to that! and what a minute is
+man's life in respect of the sun's, or of a tree? and yet how little of
+our life is occasion, opportunity to receive good in; and how little of
+that occasion do we apprehend and lay hold of? How busy and perplexed a
+cobweb is the happiness of man here, that must be made up with a
+watchfulness to lay hold upon occasion, which is but a little piece of
+that which is nothing, time? and yet the best things are nothing without
+that. Honours, pleasures, possessions, presented to us out of time? in
+our decrepit and distasted and unapprehensive age, lose their office,
+and lose their name; they are not honours to us that shall never appear,
+nor come abroad into the eyes of the people, to receive honour from them
+who give it; nor pleasures to us, who have lost our sense to taste
+them; nor possessions to us, who are departing from the possession of
+them. Youth is their critical day, that judges them, that denominates
+them, that inanimates and informs them, and makes them honours, and
+pleasures, and possessions; and when they come in an unapprehensive age,
+they come as a cordial when the bell rings out, as a pardon when the
+head is off. We rejoice in the comfort of fire, but does any man cleave
+to it at midsummer? We are glad of the freshness and coolness of a
+vault, but does any man keep his Christmas there; or are the pleasures
+of the spring acceptable in autumn? If happiness be in the season, or in
+the climate, how much happier then are birds than men, who can change
+the climate and accompany and enjoy the same season ever.
+
+
+XIV. EXPOSTULATION.
+
+My God, my God, wouldst thou call thyself the ancient of days,[194] if
+we were not to call ourselves to an account for our days? Wouldst thou
+chide us for _standing idle here all the day_,[195] if we were sure to
+have more days to make up our harvest? When thou bidst us _take no
+thought for to-morrow, for sufficient unto the day_ (to every day) _is
+the evil thereof_,[196] is this truly, absolutely, to put off all that
+concerns the present life? When thou reprehendest the Galatians by thy
+message to them, _That they observed days, and months, and times, and
+years_,[197] when thou sendest by the same messenger to forbid the
+Colossians all critical days, indicatory days, _Let no man judge you in
+respect of a holy day, or of a new moon, or of a sabbath_,[198] dost
+thou take away all consideration, all distinction of days? Though thou
+remove them from being of the essence of our salvation, thou leavest
+them for assistances, and for the exaltation of our devotion, to fix
+ourselves, at certain periodical and stationary times, upon the
+consideration of those things which thou hast done for us, and the
+crisis, the trial, the judgment, how those things have wrought upon us
+and disposed us to a spiritual recovery and convalescence. For there is
+to every man a day of salvation. _Now is the accepted time, now is the
+day of salvation_,[199] and there is _a great day of thy wrath_,[200]
+which no man shall be able to stand in; and there are evil days before,
+and therefore thou warnest us and armest us, _Take unto you the whole
+armour of God, that you may be able to stand in the evil day_.[201] So
+far then our days must be critical to us, as that by consideration of
+them, we may make a judgment of our spiritual health, for that is the
+crisis of our bodily health. Thy beloved servant, St. John, wishes to
+Gaius, _that he may prosper in his health, so as his soul
+prospers_;[202] for if the soul be lean the marrow of the body is but
+water; if the soul wither, the verdure and the good estate of the body
+is but an illusion and the goodliest man a fearful ghost. Shall we, O my
+God, determine our thoughts, and shall we never determine our
+disputations upon our climacterical years, for particular men and
+periodical years, for the life of states and kingdoms, and never
+consider these in our long life, and our interest in the everlasting
+kingdom? We have exercised our curiosity in observing that Adam, the
+eldest of the eldest world, died in his climacterical year, and Shem,
+the eldest son of the next world, in his; Abraham, the father of the
+faithful, in his, and the blessed Virgin Mary, the garden where the
+root of faith grew, in hers. But they whose climacterics we observe,
+employed their observation upon their critical days, the working of thy
+promise of a Messias upon them. And shall we, O my God, make less use of
+those days who have more of them? We, who have not only the day of the
+prophets, the first days, but the last days, in which thou hast spoken
+unto us by thy Son?[203] We are the children of the day,[204] for thou
+hast shined in as full a noon upon us as upon the Thessalonians: they
+who were of the night (a night which they had superinduced upon
+themselves), the Pharisees, pretended, _that if they had been in their
+fathers' days_ (those indicatory and judicatory, those critical days),
+_they would not have been partakers of the blood of the prophets_;[205]
+and shall we who are in the day, these days, not of the prophets, but of
+the Son, stone those prophets again, and crucify that Son again, for all
+those evident indications and critical judicatures which are afforded
+us? Those opposed adversaries of thy Son, the Pharisees, with the
+Herodians, watched a critical day; then when the state was incensed
+against him, came to tempt him in the dangerous question of
+tribute.[206] They left him, and that day was the critical day to the
+Sadducees. The same day, says thy Spirit in thy word, the Sadducees came
+to him to question him about the resurrection,[207] and them he
+silenced; they left him, and this was the critical day for the Scribe,
+expert in the law, who thought himself learneder than the Herodian, the
+Pharisee, or Sadducee; and he tempted him about the great
+commandment,[208] and him Christ left without power of replying. When
+all was done, and that they went about to begin their circle of vexation
+and temptation again, Christ silences them so, that as they had taken
+their critical days, to come in that and in that day, so Christ imposes
+a critical day upon them. _From that day forth_, says thy Spirit, _no
+man durst ask him any more questions_.[209] This, O my God, my most
+blessed God, is a fearful crisis, a fearful indication, when we will
+study, and seek, and find, what days are fittest to forsake thee in; to
+say, now religion is in a neutrality in the world, and this is my day,
+the day of liberty; now I may make new friends by changing my old
+religion, and this is my day, the day of advancement. But, O my God,
+with thy servant Jacob's holy boldness, who, though thou lamedst him,
+would not let thee go till thou hadst given him a blessing;[210] though
+thou have laid me upon my hearse, yet thou shalt not depart from me,
+from this bed, till thou have given me a crisis, a judgment upon myself
+this day. Since _a day is as a thousand years with thee_,[211] let, O
+Lord, a day be as a week to me; and in this one, let me consider seven
+days, seven critical days, and judge myself that I be not judged by
+thee. First, this is the day of thy visitation, thy coming to me; and
+would I look to be welcome to thee, and not entertain thee in thy coming
+to me? We measure not the visitations of great persons by their apparel,
+by their equipage, by the solemnity of their coming, but by their very
+coming; and therefore, howsoever thou come, it is a crisis to me, that
+thou wouldst not lose me who seekest me by any means. This leads me from
+my first day, thy visitation by sickness, to a second, to the light and
+testimony of my conscience. There I have an evening and a morning, a sad
+guiltiness in my soul, but yet a cheerful rising of thy Sun too; thy
+evenings and mornings made days in the creation, and there is no mention
+of nights; my sadnesses for sins are evenings, but they determine not
+in night, but deliver me over to the day, the day of a conscience
+dejected, but then rectified, accused, but then acquitted, by thee, by
+him who speaks thy word, and who is thy word, thy Son. From this day,
+the crisis and examination of my conscience, breaks out my third day, my
+day of preparing and fitting myself for a more especial receiving of thy
+Son in his institution of the Sacrament; in which day, though there be
+many dark passages and slippery steps to them who will entangle and
+endanger themselves in unnecessary disputations, yet there are light
+hours enough for any man to go his whole journey intended by thee, to
+know that that bread and wine is not more really assimilated to my body,
+and to my blood, than the body and blood of thy Son is communicated to
+me in that action, and participation of that bread and that wine. And
+having, O my God, walked with thee these three days, the day of thy
+visitation, the day of my conscience, the day of preparing for this seal
+of reconciliation, I am the less afraid of the clouds or storms of my
+fourth day, the day of my dissolution and transmigration from hence.
+Nothing deserves the name of happiness that makes the remembrance of
+death bitter; and, _O death, how bitter is the remembrance of thee, to a
+man that lives at rest in his possessions, the man that hath nothing to
+vex him, yea unto him that is able to receive meat!_[212] Therefore hast
+thou, O my God, made this sickness, in which I am not able to receive
+meat, my fasting day, my eve to this great festival, my dissolution. And
+this day of death shall deliver me over to my fifth day, the day of my
+resurrection; for how long a day soever thou make that day in the grave,
+yet there is no day between that and the resurrection. Then we shall all
+be invested, reapparelled in our own bodies; but they who have made
+just use of their former days be super-invested with glory; whereas the
+others, condemned to their old clothes, their sinful bodies, shall have
+nothing added but immortality to torment. And this day of awaking me,
+and reinvesting my soul in my body, and my body in the body of Christ,
+shall present me, body and soul, to my sixth day, the day of judgment,
+which is truly, and most literally, the critical, the decretory day;
+both because all judgment shall be manifested to me then, and I shall
+assist in judging the world then, and because then, that judgment shall
+declare to me, and possess me of my seventh day, my everlasting Sabbath
+in thy rest, thy glory, thy joy, thy sight, thyself; and where I shall
+live as long without reckoning any more days after, as thy Son and thy
+Holy Spirit lived with thee, before you three made any days in the
+creation.
+
+
+XIV. PRAYER.
+
+O eternal and most gracious God, who, though thou didst permit darkness
+to be before light in the creation, yet in the making of light didst so
+multiply that light, as that it enlightened not the day only, but the
+night too; though thou have suffered some dimness, some clouds of
+sadness and disconsolateness to shed themselves upon my soul, I humbly
+bless and thankfully glorify thy holy name, that thou hast afforded me
+the light of thy Spirit, against which the prince of darkness cannot
+prevail, nor hinder his illumination of our darkest nights, of our
+saddest thoughts. Even the visitation of thy most blessed Spirit upon
+the blessed Virgin, is called an overshadowing. There was the presence
+of the Holy Ghost, the fountain of all light, and yet an overshadowing;
+nay, except there were some light, there could be no shadow. Let thy
+merciful providence so govern all in this sickness, that I never fall
+into utter darkness, ignorance of thee, or inconsideration of myself;
+and let those shadows which do fall upon me, faintnesses of spirit, and
+condemnations of myself, be overcome by the power of thine irresistible
+light, the God of consolation; that when those shadows have done their
+office upon me, to let me see, that of myself I should fall into
+irrecoverable darkness, thy Spirit may do his office upon those shadows,
+and disperse them, and establish me in so bright a day here, as may be a
+critical day to me, a day wherein and whereby I may give thy judgment
+upon myself, and that the words of thy Son, spoken to his apostles, may
+reflect upon me, _Behold I am with you always, even to the end of the
+world_.[213]
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[194] Dan. vii. 22.
+
+[195] Matt. xx. 6.
+
+[196] Matt. vi. 34.
+
+[197] Gal. iv. 10.
+
+[198] Col. ii. 16.
+
+[199] 2 Cor. vi. 2.
+
+[200] Rev. vi. 17.
+
+[201] Eph. vi. 11.
+
+[202] 3 John, 2.
+
+[203] Heb. i. 2.
+
+[204] 1 Thes. v. 8.
+
+[205] Matt. xxiii. 30.
+
+[206] Matt. xxii. 15.
+
+[207] Matt. xxii. 23.
+
+[208] Matt. xxii. 36.
+
+[209] Matt. xxii. 46.
+
+[210] Gen. xxxii. 26.
+
+[211] 2 Pet. iii. 8.
+
+[212] Ecclus. xli. 1.
+
+
+
+
+XV. INTEREA INSOMNES NOCTES EGO DUCO, DIESQUE.
+
+_I sleep not day nor night._
+
+
+XV. MEDITATION.
+
+Natural men have conceived a twofold use of sleep; that it is a
+refreshing of the body in this life; that it is a preparing of the soul
+for the next; that it is a feast, and it is the grace at that feast;
+that it is our recreation and cheers us, and it is our catechism and
+instructs us; we lie down in a hope that we shall rise the stronger, and
+we lie down in a knowledge that we may rise no more. Sleep is an opiate
+which gives us rest, but such an opiate, as perchance, being under it,
+we shall wake no more. But though natural men, who have induced
+secondary and figurative considerations, have found out this second,
+this emblematical use of sleep, that it should be a representation of
+death, God, who wrought and perfected his work before nature began (for
+nature was but his apprentice, to learn in the first seven days, and now
+is his foreman, and works next under him), God, I say, intended sleep
+only for the refreshing of man by bodily rest, and not for a figure of
+death, for he intended not death itself then. But man having induced
+death upon himself, God hath taken man's creature, death, into his hand,
+and mended it; and whereas it hath in itself a fearful form and aspect,
+so that man is afraid of his own creature, God presents it to him in a
+familiar, in an assiduous, in an agreeable and acceptable form, in
+sleep; that so when he awakes from sleep, and says to himself, "Shall I
+be no otherwise when I am dead, than I was even now when I was asleep?"
+he may be ashamed of his waking dreams, and of his melancholy fancying
+out a horrid and an affrightful figure of that death which is so like
+sleep. As then we need sleep to live out our threescore and ten years,
+so we need death to live that life which we cannot outlive. And as death
+being our enemy, God allows us to defend ourselves against it (for we
+victual ourselves against death twice every day), as often as we eat, so
+God having so sweetened death unto us as he hath in sleep, we put
+ourselves into our enemy's hands once every day, so far as sleep is
+death; and sleep is as much death as meat is life. This then is the
+misery of my sickness, that death, as it is produced from me and is mine
+own creature, is now before mine eyes, but in that form in which God
+hath mollified it to us, and made it acceptable, in sleep I cannot see
+it. How many prisoners, who have even hollowed themselves their graves
+upon that earth on which they have lain long under heavy fetters, yet at
+this hour are asleep, though they be yet working upon their own graves
+by their own weight? He that hath seen his friend die to-day, or knows
+he shall see it to-morrow, yet will sink into a sleep between. I cannot,
+and oh, if I be entering now into eternity, where there shall be no more
+distinction of hours, why is it all my business now to tell clocks? Why
+is none of the heaviness of my heart dispensed into mine eye-lids, that
+they might fall as my heart doth? And why, since I have lost my delight
+in all objects, cannot I discontinue the faculty of seeing them by
+closing mine eyes in sleep? But why rather, being entering into that
+presence where I shall wake continually and never sleep more, do I not
+interpret my continual waking here, to be a parasceve and a preparation
+to that?
+
+
+XV. EXPOSTULATION.
+
+My God, my God, I know (for thou hast said it) that _he that keepeth
+Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep_:[214] but shall not that Israel,
+over whom thou watchest, sleep? I know (for thou hast said it) that
+there are men whose damnation sleepeth not;[215] but shall not they to
+whom thou art salvation sleep? or wilt thou take from them that
+evidence, and that testimony that they are thy Israel, or thou their
+salvation? _Thou givest thy beloved sleep_:[216] shall I lack that seal
+of thy love? _You shall lie down, and none shall make you afraid_:[217]
+shall I be outlawed from that protection? Jonah slept in one dangerous
+storm,[218] and thy blessed Son in another;[219] shall I have no use, no
+benefit, no application of those great examples? _Lord, if he sleep, he
+shall do well_,[220] say thy Son's disciples to him of Lazarus; and
+shall there be no room for that argument in me? or shall I be open to
+the contrary? If I sleep not, shall I not be well in their sense? Let me
+not, O my God, take this too precisely, too literally; _There is that
+neither day nor night seeth sleep with his eyes_,[221] says thy wise
+servant Solomon; and whether he speak that of worldly men, or of men
+that seek wisdom, whether in justification or condemnation of their
+watchfulness, we cannot tell: we can tell that there are men that cannot
+sleep till they have done mischief,[222] and then they can; and we can
+tell that the rich man cannot sleep, because his abundance will not let
+him.[223] The tares were sown when the husbandmen were asleep[224]; and
+the elders thought it a probable excuse, a credible lie, that the
+watchmen which kept the sepulchre should say, that the body of thy Son
+was stolen away when they were asleep.[225] Since thy blessed Son
+rebuked his disciples for sleeping, shall I murmur because I do not
+sleep? If Samson had slept any longer in Gaza, he had been taken;[226]
+and when he did sleep longer with Delilah,[227] he was taken. Sleep is
+as often taken for natural death in thy Scriptures, as for natural rest.
+Nay, sometimes sleep hath so heavy a sense, as to be taken for sin
+itself,[228] as well as for the punishment of sin, death.[229] Much
+comfort is not in much sleep, when the most fearful and most irrevocable
+malediction is presented by thee in a perpetual sleep. _I will make
+their feasts, and I will make them drunk, and they shall sleep a
+perpetual sleep, and not wake._[230] I must therefore, O my God, look
+farther than into the very act of sleeping before I misinterpret my
+waking; for since I find thy whole hand light, shall any finger of that
+hand seem heavy? Since the whole sickness is thy physic, shall any
+accident in it be my poison by my murmuring? The name of watchmen
+belongs to our profession; thy prophets are not only seers, endued with
+a power of seeing, able to see, but watchmen evermore in the act of
+seeing. And therefore give me leave, O my blessed God, to invert the
+words of thy Son's spouse: she said, _I sleep, but my heart
+waketh_;[231] I say, I wake, but my heart sleepeth: my body is in a sick
+weariness, but my soul in a peaceful rest with thee; and as our eyes in
+our health see not the air that is next them, nor the fire, nor the
+spheres, nor stop upon any thing till they come to stars, so my eyes
+that are open, see nothing of this world, but pass through all that, and
+fix themselves upon thy peace, and joy, and glory above. Almost as soon
+as thy apostle had said, _Let us not sleep_,[232] lest we should be too
+much discomforted if we did, he says again, _Whether we wake or sleep,
+let us live together with Christ_.[233] Though then this absence of
+sleep may argue the presence of death (the original may exclude the
+copy, the life the picture), yet this gentle sleep and rest of my soul
+betroths me to thee, to whom I shall be married indissolubly, though by
+this way of dissolution.
+
+
+XV. PRAYER.
+
+O eternal and most gracious God, who art able to make, and dost make,
+the sick bed of thy servants chapels of ease to them, and the dreams of
+thy servants prayers and meditations upon thee, let not this continual
+watchfulness of mine, this inability to sleep, which thou hast laid upon
+me, be any disquiet or discomfort to me, but rather an argument, that
+thou wouldst not have me sleep in thy presence. What it may indicate or
+signify concerning the state of my body, let them consider to whom that
+consideration belongs; do thou, who only art the Physician of my soul,
+tell her, that thou wilt afford her such defensatives, as that she shall
+wake ever towards thee, and yet ever sleep in thee, and that, through
+all this sickness, thou wilt either preserve mine understanding from all
+decays and distractions which these watchings might occasion, or that
+thou wilt reckon and account with me from before those violences, and
+not call any piece of my sickness a sin. It is a heavy and indelible sin
+that I brought into the world with me; it is a heavy and innumerable
+multitude of sins which I have heaped up since; I have sinned behind thy
+back (if that can be done), by wilful abstaining from thy congregations
+and omitting thy service, and I have sinned before thy face, in my
+hypocrisies in prayer, in my ostentation, and the mingling a respect of
+myself in preaching thy word; I have sinned in my fasting, by repining
+when a penurious fortune hath kept me low; and I have sinned even in
+that fulness, when I have been at thy table, by a negligent examination,
+by a wilful prevarication, in receiving that heavenly food and physic.
+But as I know, O my gracious God, that for all those sins committed
+since, yet thou wilt consider me, as I was in thy purpose when thou
+wrotest my name in the book of life in mine election; so into what
+deviations soever I stray and wander by occasion of this sickness, O
+God, return thou to that minute wherein thou wast pleased with me and
+consider me in that condition.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[213] Matt. xxviii. 20.
+
+[214] Psalm cxxi. 4.
+
+[215] 2 Pet. ii. 3.
+
+[216] Psalm cxxvii. 2.
+
+[217] Lev. xxvi. 6.
+
+[218] Jonah, i. 5.
+
+[219] Matt. viii. 24.
+
+[220] John, xi. 12.
+
+[221] Eccles. viii. 16.
+
+[222] Prov. iv. 16.
+
+[223] Eccles. v. 12.
+
+[224] Matt. xiii. 25; xxviii. 13.
+
+[225] Matt. xxvi. 40.
+
+[226] Judges, xvi. 3.
+
+[227] Judges, xvi. 19.
+
+[228] Eph. v. 14.
+
+[229] 1 Thes. v. 6.
+
+[230] Jer. li. 57.
+
+[231] Cant. v. 2.
+
+[232] 1 Thes. v. 6.
+
+[233] 1 Thes. v. 10.
+
+
+
+
+XVI. ET PROPERARE MEUM CLAMANT, E TURRE PROPINQUA, OBSTREPERAE CAMPANAE
+ALIORUM IN FUNERE, FUNUS.
+
+_From the bells of the church adjoining, I am daily remembered of my
+burial in the funerals of others._
+
+
+XVI. MEDITATION.
+
+We have a convenient author,[234] who writ a discourse of bells when he
+was prisoner in Turkey. How would he have enlarged himself if he had
+been my fellow-prisoner in this sick bed, so near to that steeple which
+never ceases, no more than the harmony of the spheres, but is more
+heard. When the Turks took Constantinople, they melted the bells into
+ordnance; I have heard both bells and ordnance, but never been so much
+affected with those as with these bells. I have lain near a steeple[235]
+in which there are said to be more than thirty bells, and near another,
+where there is one so big, as that the clapper is said to weigh more
+than six hundred pounds,[236] yet never so affected as here. Here the
+bells can scarce solemnize the funeral of any person, but that I knew
+him, or knew that he was my neighbour: we dwelt in houses near to one
+another before, but now he is gone into that house into which I must
+follow him. There is a way of correcting the children of great persons,
+that other children are corrected in their behalf, and in their names,
+and this works upon them who indeed had more deserved it. And when these
+bells tell me, that now one, and now another is buried, must not I
+acknowledge that they have the correction due to me, and paid the debt
+that I owe? There is a story of a bell in a monastery[237] which, when
+any of the house was sick to death, rung always voluntarily, and they
+knew the inevitableness of the danger by that. It rung once when no man
+was sick, but the next day one of the house fell from the steeple and
+died, and the bell held the reputation of a prophet still. If these
+bells that warn to a funeral now, were appropriated to none, may not I,
+by the hour of the funeral, supply? How many men that stand at an
+execution, if they would ask, For what dies that man? should hear their
+own faults condemned, and see themselves executed by attorney? We scarce
+hear of any man preferred, but we think of ourselves that we might very
+well have been that man; why might not I have been that man that is
+carried to his grave now? Could I fit myself to stand or sit in any
+man's place, and not to lie in any man's grave? I may lack much of the
+good parts of the meanest, but I lack nothing of the mortality of the
+weakest; they may have acquired better abilities than I, but I was born
+to as many infirmities as they. To be an incumbent by lying down in a
+grave, to be a doctor by teaching mortification by example, by dying,
+though I may have seniors, others may be older than I, yet I have
+proceeded apace in a good university, and gone a great way in a little
+time, by the furtherance of a vehement fever, and whomsoever these bells
+bring to the ground to-day, if he and I had been compared yesterday,
+perchance I should have been thought likelier to come to this
+preferment then than he. God hath kept the power of death in his own
+hands, lest any man should bribe death. If man knew the gain of death,
+the ease of death, he would solicit, he would provoke death to assist
+him by any hand which he might use. But as when men see many of their
+own professions preferred, it ministers a hope that that may light upon
+them; so when these hourly bells tell me of so many funerals of men like
+me, it presents, if not a desire that it may, yet a comfort whensoever
+mine shall come.
+
+
+XVI. EXPOSTULATION.
+
+My God, my God, I do not expostulate with thee, but with them who dare
+do that; who dare expostulate with thee, when in the voice of thy church
+thou givest allowance to this ceremony of bells at funerals. Is it
+enough to refuse it, because it was in use among the Gentiles? so were
+funerals too. Is it because some abuses may have crept in amongst
+Christians? Is that enough, that their ringing hath been said to drive
+away evil spirits? Truly, that is so far true, as that the evil spirit
+is vehemently vexed in their ringing, therefore, because that action
+brings the congregation together, and unites God and his people, to the
+destruction of that kingdom which the evil spirit usurps. In the first
+institution of thy church in this world, in the foundation of thy
+militant church amongst the Jews, thou didst appoint the calling of the
+assembly in to be by trumpet;[238] and when they were in, then thou
+gavest them the sound of bells in the garment of thy priest.[239] In the
+triumphant church, thou employest both too, but in an inverted order;
+we enter into the triumphant church by the sound of bells (for we enter
+when we die); and then we receive our further edification, or
+consummation, by the sound of trumpets at the resurrection. The sound of
+thy trumpets thou didst impart to secular and civil uses too, but the
+sound of bells only to sacred. Lord, let not us break the communion of
+saints in that which was intended for the advancement of it; let not
+that pull us asunder from one another, which was intended for the
+assembling of us in the militant, and associating of us to the
+triumphant church. But he, for whose funeral these bells ring now, was
+at home, at his journey's end yesterday; why ring they now? A man, that
+is a world, is all the things in the world; he is an army, and when an
+army marches, the van may lodge to-night where the rear comes not till
+to-morrow. A man extends to his act and to his example; to that which he
+does, and that which he teaches; so do those things that concern him, so
+do these bells; that which rung yesterday was to convey him out of the
+world in his van, in his soul; that which rung to-day was to bring him
+in his rear, in his body, to the church; and this continuing of ringing
+after his entering is to bring him to me in the application. Where I lie
+I could hear the psalm, and did join with the congregation in it; but I
+could not hear the sermon, and these latter bells are a repetition
+sermon to me. But, O my God, my God, do I that have this fever need
+other remembrances of my mortality? Is not mine own hollow voice, voice
+enough to pronounce that to me? Need I look upon a death's head in a
+ring, that have one in my face? or go for death to my neighbour's house,
+that have him in my bosom? We cannot, we cannot, O my God, take in too
+many helps for religious duties; I know I cannot have any better image
+of thee than thy Son, nor any better image of him than his Gospel; yet
+must not I with thanks confess to thee, that some historical pictures of
+his have sometimes put me upon better meditations than otherwise I
+should have fallen upon? I know thy church needed not to have taken in,
+from Jew, or Gentile, any supplies for the exaltation of thy glory, or
+our devotion; of absolute necessity I know she needed not; but yet we
+owe thee our thanks, that thou hast given her leave to do so, and that
+as, in making us Christians, thou didst not destroy that which we were
+before, natural men, so, in the exalting of our religious devotions now
+we are Christians, thou hast been pleased to continue to us those
+assistances which did work upon the affections of natural men before;
+for thou lovest a good man as thou lovest a good Christian; and though
+grace be merely from me, yet thou dost not plant grace but in good
+natures.
+
+
+XVI. PRAYER.
+
+O eternal and most gracious God, who having consecrated our living
+bodies to thine own Spirit, and made us temples of the Holy Ghost, dost
+also require a respect to be given to these temples, even when the
+priest is gone out of them, to these bodies when the soul is departed
+from them, I bless and glorify thy name, that as thou takest care in our
+life of every hair of our head, so dost thou also of every grain of
+ashes after our death. Neither dost thou only do good to us all in life
+and death, but also wouldst have us do good to one another, as in a holy
+life, so in those things which accompany our death. In that
+contemplation I make account that I hear this dead brother of ours, who
+is now carried out to his burial, to speak to me, and to preach my
+funeral sermon in the voice of these bells. In him, O God, thou hast
+accomplished to me even the request of Dives to Abraham; thou hast sent
+one from the dead to speak unto me. He speaks to me aloud from that
+steeple; he whispers to me at these curtains, and he speaks thy words:
+_Blessed are the dead which die in the Lord from henceforth_.[240] Let
+this prayer therefore, O my God, be as my last gasp, my expiring, my
+dying in thee; that if this be the hour of my transmigration, I may die
+the death of a sinner, drowned in my sins, in the blood of thy Son; and
+if I live longer, yet I may now die the death of the righteous, die to
+sin; which death is a resurrection to a new life. _Thou killest and thou
+givest life_: whichsoever comes, it comes from thee; which way soever it
+comes, let me come to thee.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[234] Magius.
+
+[235] Antwerp.
+
+[236] Roan.
+
+[237] Roccha.
+
+[238] Numb. x. 2.
+
+[239] Exod. xviii. 33-4.
+
+
+
+
+XVII. NUNC LENTO SONITU DICUNT, MORIERIS.
+
+_Now, this bell tolling softly for another, says to me: Thou must die._
+
+
+XVII. MEDITATION.
+
+Perchance he for whom this bell tolls may be so ill, as that he knows
+not it tolls for him; and perchance I may think myself so much better
+than I am, as that they who are about me, and see my state, may have
+caused it to toll for me, and I know not that. The church is Catholic,
+universal, so are all her actions; all that she does belongs to all.
+When she baptizes a child, that action concerns me; for that child is
+thereby connected to that body which is my head too, and ingrafted into
+that body whereof I am a member. And when she buries a man, that action
+concerns me: all mankind is of one author, and is one volume; when one
+man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a
+better language; and every chapter must be so translated; God employs
+several translators; some pieces are translated by age, some by
+sickness, some by war, some by justice; but God's hand is in every
+translation, and his hand shall bind up all our scattered leaves again
+for that library where every book shall lie open to one another. As
+therefore the bell that rings to a sermon calls not upon the preacher
+only, but upon the congregation to come, so this bell calls us all; but
+how much more me, who am brought so near the door by this sickness.
+There was a contention as far as a suit (in which both piety and
+dignity, religion and estimation, were mingled), which of the religious
+orders should ring to prayers first in the morning; and it was
+determined, that they should ring first that rose earliest. If we
+understand aright the dignity of this bell that tolls for our evening
+prayer, we would be glad to make it ours by rising early, in that
+application, that it might be ours as well as his, whose indeed it is.
+The bell doth toll for him that thinks it doth; and though it intermit
+again, yet from that minute that that occasion wrought upon him, he is
+united to God. Who casts not up his eye to the sun when it rises? but
+who takes off his eye from a comet when that breaks out? Who bends not
+his ear to any bell which upon any occasion rings? but who can remove it
+from that bell which is passing a piece of himself out of this world? No
+man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the
+continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea,
+Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a
+manor of thy friend's or of thine own were: any man's death diminishes
+me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know
+for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee. Neither can we call this a
+begging of misery, or a borrowing of misery, as though we were not
+miserable enough of ourselves, but must fetch in more from the next
+house, in taking upon us the misery of our neighbours. Truly it were an
+excusable covetousness if we did, for affliction is a treasure, and
+scarce any man hath enough of it. No man hath affliction enough that is
+not matured and ripened by it, and made fit for God by that affliction.
+If a man carry treasure in bullion, or in a wedge of gold, and have none
+coined into current money, his treasure will not defray him as he
+travels. Tribulation is treasure in the nature of it, but it is not
+current money in the use of it, except we get nearer and nearer our
+home, heaven, by it. Another man may be sick too, and sick to death, and
+this affliction may lie in his bowels, as gold in a mine, and be of no
+use to him; but this bell, that tells me of his affliction, digs out and
+applies that gold to me: if by this consideration of another's danger I
+take mine own into contemplation, and so secure myself, by making my
+recourse to my God, who is our only security.
+
+
+XVII. EXPOSTULATION.
+
+My God, my God, is this one of thy ways of drawing light out of
+darkness, to make him for whom this bell tolls, now in this dimness of
+his sight, to become a superintendent, an overseer, a bishop, to as many
+as hear his voice in this bell, and to give us a confirmation in this
+action? Is this one of thy ways, to raise strength out of weakness, to
+make him who cannot rise from his bed, nor stir in his bed, come home
+to me, and in this sound give me the strength of healthy and vigorous
+instructions? O my God, my God, what thunder is not a well-tuned cymbal,
+what hoarseness, what harshness, is not a clear organ, if thou be
+pleased to set thy voice to it? And what organ is not well played on if
+thy hand be upon it? Thy voice, thy hand, is in this sound, and in this
+one sound I hear this whole concert. I hear thy Jacob call unto his sons
+and say, _Gather yourselves together, that I may tell you what shall
+befall you in the last days_:[241] he says, That which I am now, you
+must be then. I hear thy Moses telling me, and all within the compass of
+this sound, _This is the blessing wherewith I bless you before my
+death_;[242] this, that before your death, you would consider your own
+in mine. I hear thy prophet saying to Hezekiah, _Set thy house in order,
+for thou shalt die, and not live_:[243] he makes use of his family, and
+calls this a setting of his house in order, to compose us to the
+meditation of death. I hear thy apostle saying, _I think it meet to put
+you in remembrance, knowing that shortly I must go out of this
+tabernacle_:[244] this is the publishing of his will, and this bell is
+our legacy, the applying of his present condition to our use. I hear
+that which makes all sounds music, and all music perfect; I hear thy Son
+himself saying, _Let not your hearts be troubled_;[245] only I hear this
+change, that whereas thy Son says there, _I go to prepare a place for
+you_, this man in this sound says, I send to prepare you for a place,
+for a grave. But, O my God, my God, since heaven is glory and joy, why
+do not glorious and joyful things lead us, induce us to heaven? Thy
+legacies in thy first will, in the Old Testament, were plenty and
+victory, wine and oil, milk and honey, alliances of friends, ruin of
+enemies, peaceful hearts and cheerful countenances, and by these
+galleries thou broughtest them into thy bedchamber, by these glories and
+joys, to the joys and glories of heaven. Why hast thou changed thine old
+way, and carried us by the ways of discipline and mortification, by the
+ways of mourning and lamentation, by the ways of miserable ends and
+miserable anticipations of those miseries, in appropriating the exemplar
+miseries of others to ourselves, and usurping upon their miseries as our
+own, to our prejudice? Is the glory of heaven no perfecter in itself,
+but that it needs a foil of depression and ingloriousness in this world,
+to set it off? Is the joy of heaven no perfecter in itself, but that it
+needs the sourness of this life to give it a taste? Is that joy and that
+glory but a comparative glory and a comparative joy? not such in itself,
+but such in comparison of the joylessness and the ingloriousness of this
+world? I know, my God, it is far, far otherwise. As thou thyself, who
+art all, art made of no substances, so the joys and glory which are with
+thee are made of none of these circumstances, essential joy, and glory
+essential. But why then, my God, wilt thou not begin them here? Pardon,
+O God, this unthankful rashness; I that ask why thou dost not, find even
+now in myself, that thou dost; such joy, such glory, as that I conclude
+upon myself, upon all, they that find not joys in their sorrows, glory
+in their dejections in this world, are in a fearful danger of missing
+both in the next.
+
+
+XVII. PRAYER.
+
+O eternal and most gracious God, who hast been pleased to speak to us,
+not only in the voice of nature, who speaks in our hearts, and of thy
+word, which speaks to our ears, but in the speech of speechless
+creatures, in Balaam's ass, in the speech of unbelieving men, in the
+confession of Pilate, in the speech of the devil himself, in the
+recognition and attestation of thy Son, I humbly accept thy voice in the
+sound of this sad and funeral bell. And first, I bless thy glorious
+name, that in this sound and voice I can hear thy instructions, in
+another man's to consider mine own condition; and to know, that this
+bell which tolls for another, before it come to ring out, may take me in
+too. As death is the wages of sin it is due to me; as death is the end
+of sickness it belongs to me; and though so disobedient a servant as I
+may be afraid to die, yet to so merciful a master as thou I cannot be
+afraid to come; and therefore into thy hands, O my God, I commend my
+spirit, a surrender which I know thou wilt accept, whether I live or
+die; for thy servant David made it,[246] when he put himself into thy
+protection for his life; and thy blessed Son made it, when he delivered
+up his soul at his death: declare thou thy will upon me, O Lord, for
+life or death in thy time; receive my surrender of myself now; into thy
+hands, O Lord, I commend my spirit. And being thus, O my God, prepared
+by thy correction, mellowed by thy chastisement, and conformed to thy
+will by thy Spirit, having received thy pardon for my soul, and asking
+no reprieve for my body, I am bold, O Lord, to bend my prayers to thee
+for his assistance, the voice of whose bell hath called me to this
+devotion. Lay hold upon his soul, O God, till that soul have thoroughly
+considered his account; and how few minutes soever it have to remain in
+that body, let the power of thy Spirit recompense the shortness of time,
+and perfect his account before he pass away; present his sins so to him,
+as that he may know what thou forgivest, and not doubt of thy
+forgiveness, let him stop upon the infiniteness of those sins, but dwell
+upon the infiniteness of thy mercy; let him discern his own demerits,
+but wrap himself up in the merits of thy Son Christ Jesus; breathe
+inward comforts to his heart, and afford him the power of giving such
+outward testimonies thereof, as all that are about him may derive
+comforts from thence, and have this edification, even in this
+dissolution, that though the body be going the way of all flesh, yet
+that soul is going the way of all saints. When thy Son cried out upon
+the cross, _My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?_ he spake not so
+much in his own person, as in the person of the church, and of his
+afflicted members, who in deep distresses might fear thy forsaking. This
+patient, O most blessed God, is one of them; in his behalf, and in his
+name, hear thy Son crying to thee, _My God, my God, why hast thou
+forsaken me?_ and forsake him not; but with thy left hand lay his body
+in the grave (if that be thy determination upon him), and with thy right
+hand receive his soul into thy kingdom, and unite him and us in one
+communion of saints. Amen.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[240] Rev. xiv. 13.
+
+[241] Gen. xlix. 1.
+
+[242] Deut. xxxiii. 1.
+
+[243] 2 Kings, xx. 1.
+
+[244] 2 Pet. i. 13.
+
+[245] John, xiv. 1.
+
+[246] Psalm xxxi. 5.
+
+
+
+
+ XVIII. ------------------------ AT INDE
+ MORTUUS ES, SONITU CELERI, PULSUQUE AGITATO.
+
+_The bell rings out, and tells me in him, that I am dead._
+
+
+XVIII. MEDITATION.
+
+The bell rings out, the pulse thereof is changed; the tolling was a
+faint and intermitting pulse, upon one side; this stronger, and argues
+more and better life. His soul is gone out, and as a man who had a lease
+of one thousand years after the expiration of a short one, or an
+inheritance after the life of a man in a consumption, he is now entered
+into the possession of his better estate. His soul is gone, whither? Who
+saw it come in, or who saw it go out? Nobody; yet everybody is sure he
+had one, and hath none. If I will ask mere philosophers what the soul
+is, I shall find amongst them that will tell me, it is nothing but the
+temperament and harmony, and just and equal composition of the elements
+in the body, which produces all those faculties which we ascribe to the
+soul; and so in itself is nothing, no separable substance that overlives
+the body. They see the soul is nothing else in other creatures, and they
+affect an impious humility to think as low of man. But if my soul were
+no more than the soul of a beast, I could not think so; that soul that
+can reflect upon itself, consider itself, is more than so. If I will
+ask, not mere philosophers, but mixed men, philosophical divines, how
+the soul, being a separate substance, enters into man, I shall find some
+that will tell me, that it is by generation and procreation from
+parents, because they think it hard to charge the soul with the
+guiltiness of original sin if the soul were infused into a body in which
+it must necessarily grow foul, and contract original sin whether it
+will or no; and I shall find some that will tell me, that it is by
+immediate infusion from God, because they think it hard to maintain an
+immortality in such a soul, as should be begotten and derived with the
+body from mortal parents. If I will ask, not a few men, but almost whole
+bodies, whole churches, what becomes of the souls of the righteous at
+the departing thereof from the body, I shall be told by some, that they
+attend an expiation, a purification in a place of torment; by some, that
+they attend the fruition of the sight of God in a place of rest, but yet
+but of expectation; by some, that they pass to an immediate possession
+of the presence of God. St. Augustine studied the nature of the soul as
+much as any thing, but the salvation of the soul; and he sent an express
+messenger to St. Hierome, to consult of some things concerning the soul;
+but he satisfies himself with this: "Let the departure of my soul to
+salvation be evident to my faith, and I care the less how dark the
+entrance of my soul into my body be to my reason." It is the going out,
+more than the coming in, that concerns us. This soul this bell tells me
+is gone out, whither? Who shall tell me that? I know not who it is, much
+less what he was, the condition of the man, and the course of his life,
+which should tell me whither he is gone, I know not. I was not there in
+his sickness, nor at his death; I saw not his way nor his end, nor can
+ask them who did, thereby to conclude or argue whither he is gone. But
+yet I have one nearer me than all these, mine own charity; I ask that,
+and that tells me he is gone to everlasting rest, and joy, and glory. I
+owe him a good opinion; it is but thankful charity in me, because I
+received benefit and instruction from him when his bell tolled; and I,
+being made the fitter to pray by that disposition, wherein I was
+assisted by his occasion, did pray for him; and I pray not without
+faith; so I do charitably, so I do faithfully believe, that that soul is
+gone to everlasting rest, and joy, and glory. But for the body, how poor
+a wretched thing is that? we cannot express it so fast, as it grows
+worse and worse. That body, which scarce three minutes since was such a
+house, as that that soul, which made but one step from thence to heaven,
+was scarce thoroughly content to leave that for heaven; that body hath
+lost the name of a dwelling-house, because none dwells in it, and is
+making haste to lose the name of a body, and dissolve to putrefaction.
+Who would not be affected to see a clear and sweet river in the morning,
+grow a kennel of muddy land-water by noon, and condemned to the saltness
+of the sea by night? and how lame a picture, how faint a representation
+is that, of the precipitation of man's body to dissolution? Now all the
+parts built up, and knit by a lovely soul, now but a statue of clay, and
+now these limbs melted off, as if that clay were but snow; and now the
+whole house is but a handful of sand, so much dust, and but a peck of
+rubbish, so much bone. If he who, as this bell tells me, is gone now,
+were some excellent artificer, who comes to him for a cloak or for a
+garment now? or for counsel, if he were a lawyer? if a magistrate, for
+justice? Man, before he hath his immortal soul, hath a soul of sense,
+and a soul of vegetation before that: this immortal soul did not forbid
+other souls to be in us before, but when this soul departs, it carries
+all with it; no more vegetation, no more sense. Such a mother-in-law is
+the earth, in respect of our natural mother; in her womb we grew, and
+when she was delivered of us, we were planted in some place, in some
+calling in the world; in the womb of the earth we diminish, and when she
+is delivered of us, our grave opened for another; we are not
+transplanted, but transported, our dust blown away with profane dust,
+with every wind.
+
+
+XVIII. EXPOSTULATION.
+
+My God, my God, if expostulation be too bold a word, do thou mollify it
+with another; let it be wonder in myself, let it be but problem to
+others; but let me ask, why wouldst thou not suffer those that serve
+thee in holy services, to do any office about the dead,[247] nor assist
+at their funeral? Thou hadst no counsellor, thou needst none; thou hast
+no controller, thou admittedst none. Why do I ask? In ceremonial things
+(as that was) any convenient reason is enough; who can be sure to
+propose that reason, that moved thee in the institution thereof? I
+satisfy myself with this; that in those times the Gentiles were
+over-full of an over-reverent respect to the memory of the dead: a great
+part of the idolatry of the nations flowed from that; an over-amorous
+devotion, an over-zealous celebrating, and over-studious preserving of
+the memories, and the pictures of some dead persons; and by _the vain
+glory of men, they entered into the world_,[248] and their statues and
+pictures contracted an opinion of divinity by age: that which was at
+first but a picture of a friend grew a god in time, as the wise man
+notes, _They called them gods, which were the work of an ancient
+hand_.[249] And some have assigned a certain time, when a picture should
+come out of minority, and be at age to be a god in sixty years after it
+is made. Those images of men that had life, and some idols of other
+things which never had any being, are by one common name called
+promiscuously dead; and for that the wise man reprehends the idolater,
+_for health he prays to that which is weak, and for life he prays to
+that which is dead_.[250] Should we do so? says thy prophet;[251]
+_should we go from the living to the dead?_ So much ill then being
+occasioned by so much religious compliment exhibited to the dead, thou,
+O God (I think), wouldst therefore inhibit thy principal holy servants
+from contributing any thing at all to this dangerous intimation of
+idolatry; and that the people might say, Surely those dead men are not
+so much to be magnified as men mistake, since God will not suffer his
+holy officers so much as to touch them, not to see them. But those
+dangers being removed, thou, O my God, dost certainly allow that we
+should do offices of piety to the dead and that we should draw
+instructions to piety from the dead. Is not this, O my God, a holy kind
+of raising up seed to my dead brother, if I, by the meditation of his
+death produce a better life in myself? It is the blessing upon Reuben,
+_Let Reuben live, and not die, and let not his men be few_;[252] let him
+propagate many. And it is a malediction, _That that dieth, let it
+die_,[253] let it do no good in dying; for _trees without fruit_, thou,
+by thy apostle, callest _twice dead_.[254] It is a second death, if none
+live the better by me after my death, by the manner of my death.
+Therefore may I justly think, that thou madest that a way to convey to
+the Egyptians a fear of thee and a fear of death, that _there was not a
+house where there was not one dead_;[255] for thereupon the Egyptians
+said, _We are all dead men_: the death of others should catechise us to
+death. Thy Son Christ Jesus is the _first begotten of the dead_;[256] he
+rises first, the eldest brother, and he is my master in this science of
+death; but yet, for me, I am a younger brother too, to this man who
+died now, and to every man whom I see or hear to die before me, and all
+they are ushers to me in this school of death. I take therefore that
+which thy servant David's wife said to him, to be said to me, _If thou
+save not thy life to-night, to-morrow thou shalt be slain_.[257] If the
+death of this man work not upon me now, I shall die worse than if thou
+hadst not afforded me this help; for thou hast sent him in this bell to
+me, as thou didst send to the angel of Sardis, with commission to
+_strengthen the things that remain, and that are ready to die_,[258]
+that in this weakness of body I might receive spiritual strength by
+these occasions. This is my strength, that whether thou say to me, as
+thine angel said to Gideon, _Peace be unto thee, fear not, thou shalt
+not die_;[259] or whether thou say, as unto Aaron, _Thou shalt die
+there_;[260] yet thou wilt preserve that which is ready to die, my soul,
+from the worst death, that of sin. Zimri _died for his sins_, says thy
+Spirit, _which he sinned in doing evil; and in his sin which he did to
+make Israel sin_;[261] for his sins, his many sins, and then in his sin,
+his particular sin. For my sins I shall die whensoever I die, for death
+is the wages of sin; but I shall die in my sin, in that particular sin
+of resisting thy Spirit, if I apply not thy assistances. Doth it not
+call us to a particular consideration that thy blessed Son varies his
+form of commination, and aggravates it in the variation, when he says to
+the Jews (because they refused the light offered), _You shall die in
+your sin_:[262] and then when they proceeded to farther disputations,
+and vexations, and temptations, he adds, _You shall die in your
+sins_;[263] he multiplies the former expression to a plural. In this
+sin, and in all your sins, doth not the resisting of thy particular
+helps at last draw upon us the guiltiness of all our former sins? May
+not the neglecting of this sound ministered to me in this man's death,
+bring me to that misery, so that I, whom the Lord of life loved so as to
+die for me, shall die, and a creature of mine own shall be immortal;
+that I shall die, and the _worm_ of mine own conscience _shall never
+die_?[264]
+
+
+XVIII. PRAYER.
+
+O eternal and most gracious God, I have a new occasion of thanks, and a
+new occasion of prayer to thee from the ringing of this bell. Thou
+toldest me in the other voice that I was mortal and approaching to
+death; in this I may hear thee say that I am dead in an irremediable, in
+an irrecoverable state for bodily health. If that be thy language in
+this voice, how infinitely am I bound to thy heavenly Majesty for
+speaking so plainly unto me? for even that voice, that I must die now,
+is not the voice of a judge that speaks by way of condemnation, but of a
+physician that presents health in that. Thou presentest me death as the
+cure of my disease, not as the exaltation of it; if I mistake thy voice
+herein, if I overrun thy pace, and prevent thy hand, and imagine death
+more instant upon me than thou hast bid him be, yet the voice belongs to
+me; I am dead, I was born dead, and from the first laying of these mud
+walls in my conception, they have mouldered away, and the whole course
+of life is but an active death. Whether this voice instruct me that I am
+a dead man now, or remember me that I have been a dead man all this
+while. I humbly thank thee for speaking in this voice to my soul; and I
+humbly beseech thee also to accept my prayers in his behalf, by whose
+occasion this voice, this sound, is come to me. For though he be by
+death transplanted to thee, and so in possession of inexpressible
+happiness there, yet here upon earth thou hast given us such a portion
+of heaven, as that though men dispute whether thy saints in heaven do
+know what we in earth in particular do stand in need of, yet, without
+all disputation, we upon earth do know what thy saints in heaven lack
+yet for the consummation of their happiness, and therefore thou hast
+afforded us the dignity that we may pray for them. That therefore this
+soul, now newly departed to thy kingdom, may quickly return to a joyful
+reunion to that body which it hath left, and that we with it may soon
+enjoy the full consummation of all in body and soul, I humbly beg at thy
+hand, O our most merciful God, for thy Son Christ Jesus' sake. That that
+blessed Son of thine may have the consummation of his dignity, by
+entering into his last office, the office of a judge, and may have
+society of human bodies in heaven, as well as he hath had ever of souls;
+and that as thou hatest sin itself, thy hate to sin may be expressed in
+the abolishing of all instruments of sin, the allurements of this world,
+and the world itself; and all the temporary revenges of sin, the stings
+of sickness and of death; and all the castles, and prisons, and
+monuments of sin, in the grave. That time may be swallowed up in
+eternity, and hope swallowed in possession, and ends swallowed in
+infiniteness, and all men ordained to salvation in body and soul be one
+entire and everlasting sacrifice to thee, where thou mayst receive
+delight from them, and they glory from thee, for evermore. Amen.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[247] Levit. xxi. 1.
+
+[248] Wisd. xiv. 14.
+
+[249] Wisd. xiii. 10.
+
+[250] Wisd. xiii. 18.
+
+[251] Isaiah, viii. 19.
+
+[252] Deut. xxxiii. 6.
+
+[253] Zech. xi. 9.
+
+[254] Jude, 12.
+
+[255] Exod. xii. 30.
+
+[256] Rev. i. 5.
+
+[257] 1 Sam. xix. 11.
+
+[258] Rev. iii. 2.
+
+[259] Judg. vi, 23.
+
+[260] Numb. xx. 26.
+
+[261] 1 Kings, xvi. 19.
+
+[262] John, viii. 21.
+
+[263] John, viii. 24.
+
+[264] Isaiah, lxvi. 24.
+
+
+
+
+XIX. OCEANO TANDEM EMENSO, ASPICIENDA RESURGIT TERRA; VIDENT, JUSTIS,
+MEDICI, JAM COCTA MEDERI SE POSSE, INDICIIS.
+
+_At last the physicians, after a long and stormy voyage, see land: they
+have so good signs of the concoction of the disease, as that they may
+safely proceed to purge._
+
+
+XIX. MEDITATION.
+
+All this while the physicians themselves have been patients, patiently
+attending when they should see any land in this sea, any earth, any
+cloud, any indication of concoction in these waters. Any disorder of
+mine, any pretermission of theirs, exalts the disease, accelerates the
+rages of it; no diligence accelerates the concoction, the maturity of
+the disease; they must stay till the season of the sickness come; and
+till it be ripened of itself, and then they may put to their hand to
+gather it before it fall off, but they cannot hasten the ripening. Why
+should we look for it in a disease, which is the disorder, the discord,
+the irregularity, the commotion and rebellion of the body? It were
+scarce a disease if it could be ordered and made obedient to our times.
+Why should we look for that in disorder, in a disease, when we cannot
+have it in nature, who is so regular and so pregnant, so forward to
+bring her work to perfection and to light? Yet we cannot awake the July
+flowers in January, nor retard the flowers of the spring to autumn. We
+cannot bid the fruits come in May, nor the leaves to stick on in
+December. A woman that is weak cannot put off her ninth month to a tenth
+for her delivery, and say she will stay till she be stronger; nor a
+queen cannot hasten it to a seventh, that she may be ready for some
+other pleasure. Nature (if we look for durable and vigorous effects)
+will not admit preventions, nor anticipations, nor obligations upon her,
+for they are precontracts, and she will be left to her liberty. Nature
+would not be spurred, nor forced to mend her pace; nor power, the power
+of man, greatness, loves not that kind of violence neither. There are of
+them that will give, that will do justice, that will pardon, but they
+have their own seasons for all these, and he that knows not them shall
+starve before that gift come, and ruin before the justice, and die
+before the pardon save him. Some tree bears no fruit, except much dung
+be laid about it; and justice comes not from some till they be richly
+manured: some trees require much visiting, much watering, much labour;
+and some men give not their fruits but upon importunity: some trees
+require incision, and pruning, and lopping; some men must be intimidated
+and syndicated with commissions, before they will deliver the fruits of
+justice: some trees require the early and the often access of the sun;
+some men open not, but upon the favours and letters of court mediation:
+some trees must be housed and kept within doors; some men lock up, not
+only their liberality, but their justice and their compassion, till the
+solicitation of a wife, or a son, or a friend, or a servant, turn the
+key. Reward is the season of one man, and importunity of another; fear
+the season of one man, and favour of another; friendship the season of
+one man, and natural affection of another; and he that knows not their
+seasons, nor cannot stay them, must lose the fruits: as nature will not,
+so power and greatness will not be put to change their seasons, and
+shall we look for this indulgence in a disease, or think to shake it off
+before it be ripe? All this while, therefore, we are but upon a
+defensive war, and that is but a doubtful state; especially where they
+who are besieged do know the best of their defences, and do not know
+the worst of their enemy's power; when they cannot mend their works
+within, and the enemy can increase his numbers without. O how many far
+more miserable, and far more worthy to be less miserable than I, are
+besieged with this sickness, and lack their sentinels, their physicians
+to watch, and lack their munition, their cordials to defend, and perish
+before the enemy's weakness might invite them to sally, before the
+disease show any declination, or admit any way of working upon itself?
+In me the siege is so far slackened, as that we may come to fight, and
+so die in the field, if I die, and not in a prison.
+
+
+XIX. EXPOSTULATION.
+
+My God, my God, thou art a direct God, may I not say a literal God, a
+God that wouldst be understood literally and according to the plain
+sense of all that thou sayest? but thou art also (Lord, I intend it to
+thy glory, and let no profane misinterpreter abuse it to thy
+diminution), thou art a figurative, a metaphorical God too; a God in
+whose words there is such a height of figures, such voyages, such
+peregrinations to fetch remote and precious metaphors, such extensions,
+such spreadings, such curtains of allegories, such third heavens of
+hyperboles, so harmonious elocutions, so retired and so reserved
+expressions, so commanding persuasions, so persuading commandments, such
+sinews even in thy milk, and such things in thy words, as all profane
+authors seem of the seed of the serpent that creeps, thou art the Dove
+that flies. O, what words but thine can express the inexpressible
+texture and composition of thy word, in which to one man that argument
+that binds his faith to believe that to be the word of God, is the
+reverent simplicity of the word, and to another the majesty of the word;
+and in which two men equally pious may meet, and one wonder that all
+should not understand it, and the other as much that any man should. So,
+Lord, thou givest us the same earth to labour on and to lie in, a house
+and a grave of the same earth; so, Lord, thou givest us the same word
+for our satisfaction and for our inquisition, for our instruction and
+for our admiration too; for there are places that thy servants Hierom
+and Augustine would scarce believe (when they grew warm by mutual
+letters) of one another, that they understood them, and yet both Hierom
+and Augustine call upon persons whom they knew to be far weaker than
+they thought one another (old women and young maids) to read the
+Scriptures, without confining them to these or those places. Neither art
+thou thus a figurative, a metaphorical God in thy word only, but in thy
+works too. The style of thy works, the phrase of thine actions, is
+metaphorical The institution of thy whole worship in the old law was a
+continual allegory; types and figures overspread all, and figures flowed
+into figures, and poured themselves out into farther figures;
+circumcision carried a figure of baptism, and baptism carries a figure
+of that purity which we shall have in perfection in the new Jerusalem.
+Neither didst thou speak and work in this language only in the time of
+thy prophets; but since thou spokest in thy Son it is so too. How often,
+how much more often, doth thy Son call himself a way, and a light, and a
+gate, and a vine, and bread, than the Son of God, or of man? How much
+oftener doth he exhibit a metaphorical Christ, than a real, a literal?
+This hath occasioned thine ancient servants, whose delight it was to
+write after thy copy, to proceed the same way in their expositions of
+the Scriptures, and in their composing both of public liturgies and of
+private prayers to thee, to make their accesses to thee in such a kind
+of language as thou wast pleased to speak to them, in a figurative, in a
+metaphorical language, in which manner I am bold to call the comfort
+which I receive now in this sickness in the indication of the concoction
+and maturity thereof, in certain clouds and recidences, which the
+physicians observe, a discovering of land from sea after a long and
+tempestuous voyage. But wherefore, O my God, hast thou presented to us
+the afflictions and calamities of this life in the name of waters? so
+often in the name of waters, and deep waters, and seas of waters? Must
+we look to be drowned? are they bottomless, are they boundless? That is
+not the dialect of thy language; thou hast given a remedy against the
+deepest water by water; against the inundation of sin by baptism; and
+the first life that thou gavest to any creatures was in waters:
+therefore thou dost not threaten us with an irremediableness when our
+affliction is a sea. It is so if we consider ourselves; so thou callest
+Genezareth, which was but a lake, and not salt, a sea; so thou callest
+the Mediterranean sea still the great sea, because the inhabitants saw
+no other sea; they that dwelt there thought a lake a sea, and the others
+thought a little sea, the greatest, and we that know not the afflictions
+of others call our own the heaviest. But, O my God, that is truly great
+that overflows the channel, that is really a great affliction which is
+above my strength; but thou, O God, art my strength, and then what can
+be above it? _Mountains shake with the swelling of thy sea_;[265]
+secular mountains, men strong in power; spiritual mountains, men strong
+in grace, are shaken with afflictions; but _thou layest up thy sea in
+storehouses_;[266] even thy corrections are of thy treasure, and thou
+wilt not waste thy corrections; when they have done their service to
+humble thy patient, thou wilt call them in again, for _thou givest the
+sea thy decree, that the waters should not pass thy commandment_.[267]
+All our waters shall run into Jordan, and thy servants passed Jordan dry
+foot;[268] they shall run into the red sea (the sea of thy Son's blood),
+and the red sea, that red sea, drowns none of thine: but _they that sail
+on the sea tell of the danger thereof_.[269] I that am yet in this
+affliction, owe thee the glory of speaking of it; but, as the wise man
+bids me, I say, I _may speak much and come short, wherefore in sum thou
+art all_.[270] Since thou art so, O my God, and affliction is a sea too
+deep for us, what is our refuge? Thine ark, thy ship. In all other
+afflictions, those means which thou hast ordained in this sea, in
+sickness, thy ship is thy physician. _Thou hast made a way in the sea,
+and a safe path in the waters, showing that thou canst save from all
+dangers, yea, though a man went to sea without art_:[271] yet, where I
+find all that, I find this added; _nevertheless thou wouldst not, that
+the work of thy wisdom should be idle_.[272] Thou canst save without
+means, but thou hast told no man that thou wilt; thou hast told every
+man that thou wilt not.[273] When the centurion believed the master of
+the ship more than St. Paul, they were all opened to a great danger;
+this was a preferring of thy means before thee, the author of the means:
+but, my God, though thou beest every where: I have no promise of
+appearing to me but in thy ship, thy blessed Son preached out of a
+ship:[274] the means is preaching, he did that; and the ship was a type
+of the church, he did it there. Thou gavest St. Paul the lives of all
+them that sailed with him;[275] if they had not been in the ship with
+him, the gift had not extended to them. _As soon as thy Son was come out
+of the ship, immediately there met him, out of the tombs, a man with an
+unclean spirit, and no man could hold him, no not with chains._[276] Thy
+Son needed no use of means; yet there we apprehend the danger to us, if
+we leave the ship, the means, in this case the physician. But as they
+are ships to us in those seas, so is there a ship to them too in which
+they are to stay. Give me leave, O my God, to assist myself with such a
+construction of these words of thy servant Paul to the centurion, when
+the mariners would have left the ship, _Except these abide in the ship,
+you cannot be safe_:[277] except they who are our ships, the physicians,
+abide in that which is theirs, and our ship, the truth, and the sincere
+and religious worship of thee and thy gospel, we cannot promise
+ourselves so good safety; for though we have our ship, the physician, he
+hath not his ship, religion; and means are not means but in their
+concatenation, as they depend and are chained together. _The ships are
+great_, says thy apostle, _but a helm turns them_;[278] the men are
+learned, but their religion turns their labours to good, and therefore
+it was a heavy curse when _the third part of the ships perished_:[279]
+it is a heavy case where either all religion, or true religion, should
+forsake many of these ships whom thou hast sent to convey us over these
+seas. But, O my God, my God, since I have my ship and they theirs, I
+have them and they have thee, why are we yet no nearer land? As soon as
+thy Son's disciple had taken him into the ship, _immediately the ship
+was at the land whither they went_.[280] Why have not they and I this
+dispatch? Every thing is immediately done, which is done when thou
+wouldst have it done. Thy purpose terminates every action, and what was
+done before that is undone yet. Shall that slacken my hope? thy prophet
+from thee hath forbidden it. _It is good that a man should both hope,
+and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord._[281] Thou puttest off
+many judgments till the last day, and many pass this life without any;
+and shall not I endure the putting off thy mercy for a day? And yet, O
+my God, thou puttest me not to that, for the assurance of future mercy
+is present mercy. But what is my assurance now? what is my seal? It is
+but a cloud; that which my physicians call a cloud, in that which gives
+them their indication. But a cloud? Thy great seal to all the world, the
+rainbow, that secured the world for ever from drowning, was but a
+reflection upon a cloud. A cloud itself was a pillar which guided the
+church,[282] and the glory of God not only was, but appeared in a
+cloud.[283] Let me return, O my God, to the consideration of thy servant
+Elijah's proceeding in a time of desperate drought;[284] he bids them
+look towards the sea; they look, and see nothing. He bids them again and
+again seven times; and at the seventh time they saw a little cloud
+rising out of the sea, and presently they had their desire of rain.
+Seven days, O my God, have we looked for this cloud, and now we have it;
+none of thy indications are frivolous, thou makest thy signs seals, and
+thy seals effects, and thy effects consolation and restitution,
+wheresoever thou mayst receive glory by that way.
+
+
+XIX. PRAYER.
+
+O eternal and most gracious God, who though thou passedst over infinite
+millions of generations, before thou camest to a creation of this world,
+yet when thou beganst, didst never intermit that work, but continuedst
+day to day, till thou hadst perfected all the work, and deposed it in
+the hands and rest of a sabbath, though thou have been pleased to
+glorify thyself in a long exercise of my patience, with an expectation
+of thy declaration of thyself in this my sickness, yet since thou hast
+now of thy goodness afforded that which affords us some hope, if that be
+still the way of thy glory, proceed in that way and perfect that work,
+and establish me in a sabbath and rest in thee, by this thy seal of
+bodily restitution. Thy priests came up to thee by steps in the temple;
+thy angels came down to Jacob by steps upon the ladder; we find no stair
+by which thou thyself camest to Adam in paradise, nor to Sodom in thine
+anger; for thou, and thou only, art able to do all at once. But O Lord,
+I am not weary of thy pace, nor weary of mine own patience. I provoke
+thee not with a prayer, not with a wish, not with a hope, to more haste
+than consists with thy purpose, nor look that any other thing should
+have entered into thy purpose, but thy glory. To hear thy steps coming
+towards me is the same comfort as to see thy face present with me;
+whether thou do the work of a thousand years in a day, or extend the
+work of a day to a thousand years, as long as thou workest, it is light
+and comfort. Heaven itself is but an extension of the same joy; and an
+extension of this mercy, to proceed at thy leisure, in the way of
+restitution, is a manifestation of heaven to me here upon earth. From
+that people to whom thou appearedst in signs and in types, the Jews,
+thou art departed, because they trusted in them; but from thy church, to
+whom thou hast appeared in thyself, in thy Son, thou wilt never depart,
+because we cannot trust too much in him. Though thou have afforded me
+these signs of restitution, yet if I confide in them, and begin to say,
+all was but a natural accident, and nature begins to discharge herself,
+and she will perfect the whole work, my hope shall vanish because it is
+not in thee. If thou shouldst take thy hand utterly from me, and have
+nothing to do with me, nature alone were able to destroy me; but if thou
+withdraw thy helping hand, alas, how frivolous are the helps of nature,
+how impotent the assistances of art? As therefore the morning dew is a
+pawn of the evening fatness, so, O Lord, let this day's comfort be the
+earnest of to-morrow's, so far as may conform me entirely to thee, to
+what end, and by what way soever thy mercy have appointed me.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[265] Psalm xlvi. 3.
+
+[266] Psalm xxxiii. 7.
+
+[267] Prov. viii. 29.
+
+[268] Josh. iii. 17.
+
+[269] Ecclus. xliii. 24.
+
+[270] Ecclus. xliii. 27.
+
+[271] Wisd. xiv. 3.
+
+[272] Wisd. xiv. 5.
+
+[273] Acts, xxvii. 11.
+
+[274] Luke, v. 3.
+
+[275] Acts, xxvii. 24.
+
+[276] Mark, v. 2.
+
+[277] Acts, xxvii. 31.
+
+[278] James, iii. 4.
+
+[279] Rev. viii. 9.
+
+[280] John, vi. 21.
+
+[281] Lam. iii. 26.
+
+[282] Exod. xiii. 21.
+
+[283] Exod. xvi. 10.
+
+[284] 1 Kings, xviii. 43.
+
+
+
+
+XX. ID AGUNT.
+
+_Upon these indications of digested matter, they proceed to purge._
+
+
+XX. MEDITATION.
+
+Though counsel seem rather to consist of spiritual parts than action,
+yet action is the spirit and the soul of counsel. Counsels are not
+always determined in resolutions, we cannot always say, this was
+concluded; actions are always determined in effects, we can say, this
+was done. Then have laws their reverence and their majesty, when we see
+the judge upon the bench executing them. Then have counsels of war
+their impressions and their operations, when we see the seal of an army
+set to them. It was an ancient way of celebrating the memory of such as
+deserved well of the state, to afford them that kind of statuary
+representation, which was then called Hermes, which was the head and
+shoulders of a man standing upon a cube, but those shoulders without
+arms and hands. Altogether it figured a constant supporter of the state,
+by his counsel; but in this hieroglyphic, which they made without hands,
+they pass their consideration no farther but that the counsellor should
+be without hands, so far as not to reach out his hand to foreign
+temptations of bribes, in matters of counsel, and that it was not
+necessary that the head should employ his own hand; that the same men
+should serve in the execution which assisted in the counsel; but that
+there should not belong hands to every head, action to every counsel,
+was never intended so much as in figure and representation. For as
+matrimony is scarce to be called matrimony where there is a resolution
+against the fruits of matrimony, against the having of children,[285] so
+counsels are not counsels, but illusions, where there is from the
+beginning no purpose to execute the determinations of those counsels.
+The arts and sciences are most properly referred to the head; that is
+their proper element and sphere; but yet the art of proving, logic, and
+the art of persuading, rhetoric, are deduced to the hand, and that
+expressed by a hand contracted into a fist, and this by a hand enlarged
+and expanded; and evermore the power of man, and the power of God,
+himself is expressed so. All things are in his hand; neither is God so
+often presented to us, by names that carry our consideration upon
+counsel, as upon execution of counsel; he oftener is called the Lord of
+Hosts than by all other names, that may be referred to the other
+signification. Hereby therefore we take into our meditation the slippery
+condition of man, whose happiness in any kind, the defect of any one
+thing conducing to that happiness, may ruin; but it must have all the
+pieces to make it up. Without counsel, I had not got thus far; without
+action and practice, I should go no farther towards health. But what is
+the present necessary action? Purging; a withdrawing, a violating of
+nature, a farther weakening. O dear price, and O strange way of
+addition, to do it by subtraction; of restoring nature, to violate
+nature; of providing strength, by increasing weakness. Was I not sick
+before? And is it a question of comfort to be asked now, did your physic
+make you sick? Was that it that my physic promised, to make me sick?
+This is another step upon which we may stand, and see farther into the
+misery of man, the time, the season of his misery; it must be done now.
+O over-cunning, over-watchful, over-diligent, and over-sociable misery
+of man, that seldom comes alone, but then when it may accompany other
+miseries, and so put one another into the higher exaltation, and better
+heart. I am ground even to an attenuation and must proceed to
+evacuation, all ways to exinanition and annihilation.
+
+
+XX. EXPOSTULATION.
+
+My God, my God, the God of order, but yet not of ambition, who assignest
+place to every one, but not contention for place, when shall it be thy
+pleasure to put an end to all these quarrels for spiritual precedences?
+When shall men leave their uncharitable disputations, which is to take
+place, faith or repentance, and which, when we consider faith and works?
+The head and the hand too are required to a perfect natural man;
+counsel and action too, to a perfect civil man; faith and works too, to
+him that is perfectly spiritual. But because it is easily said, I
+believe, and because it doth not easily lie in proof, nor is easily
+demonstrable by any evidence taken from my heart (for who sees that, who
+searches those rolls?) whether I do believe or no, is it not therefore,
+O my God, that thou dost so frequently, so earnestly, refer us to the
+hand, to the observation of actions? There is a little suspicion, a
+little imputation laid upon over-tedious and dilatory counsels. Many
+good occasions slip away in long consultations; and it may be a degree
+of sloth, to be too long in mending nets, though that must be done. _He
+that observeth the wind shall not sow, and he that regardeth the clouds
+shall not reap_;[286] that is, he that is too dilatory, too
+superstitious in these observations, and studies but the excuse of his
+own idleness in them; but that which the same wise and royal servant of
+thine says in another place, all accept, and ask no comment upon it, _He
+becometh poor that dealeth with a slack hand, but the hand of the
+diligent maketh rich_;[287] all evil imputed to the absence, all good
+attributed to the presence of the hand. I know, my God (and I bless thy
+name for knowing it, for all good knowledge is from thee), that thou
+considerest the heart; but thou takest not off thine eye till thou come
+to the hand. Nay, my God, doth not thy Spirit intimate that thou
+beginnest where we begin (at least, that thou allowest us to begin
+there), when thou orderest thine own answer to thine own question, _Who
+shall ascend into the hill of the Lord_? thus, _He that hath clean
+hands, and a pure heart_?[288] Dost thou not (at least) send us first to
+the hand? And is not the work of their hands that declaration of their
+holy zeal, in the present execution of manifest idolators, called a
+consecration of themselves,[289] by thy Holy Spirit? Their hands are
+called all themselves; for even counsel itself goes under that name in
+thy word, who knowest best how to give right names: because the counsel
+of the priests assisted David,[290] Saul says the hand of the priest is
+with David. And that which is often said by Moses, is very often
+repeated by thy other prophets, _These and these things the Lord
+spake_,[291] and _the Lord said_, and _the Lord commanded_, not by the
+counsels, not by the voice, but by the _hand of Moses_, and by the _hand
+of the prophets_. Evermore we are referred for our evidence of others,
+and of ourselves, to the hand, to action, to works. There is something
+before it, believing; and there is something after it, suffering; but in
+the most eminent, and obvious, and conspicuous place stands doing. Why
+then, O my God, my blessed God, in the ways of my spiritual strength,
+come I so slow to action? I was whipped by thy rod, before I came to
+consultation, to consider my state; and shall I go no farther? As he
+that would describe a circle in paper, if he have brought that circle
+within one inch of finishing, yet if he remove his compass he cannot
+make it up a perfect circle except he fall to work again, to find out
+the same centre, so, though setting that foot of my compass upon thee, I
+have gone so far as to the consideration of myself, yet if I depart from
+thee, my centre, all is imperfect. This proceeding to action, therefore,
+is a returning to thee, and a working upon myself by thy physic, by thy
+purgative physic, a free and entire evacuation of my soul by confession.
+The working of purgative physic is violent and contrary to nature. O
+Lord, I decline not this potion of confession, however it may be
+contrary to a natural man. To take physic, and not according to the
+right method, is dangerous.[292] O Lord, I decline not that method in
+this physic, in things that burthen my conscience, to make my confession
+to him, into whose hands thou hast put the power of absolution. I know
+that "physic may be made so pleasant as that it may easily be taken; but
+not so pleasant as the virtue and nature of the medicine be
+extinguished."[293] I know I am not submitted to such a confession as is
+a rack and torture of the conscience; but I know I am not exempt from
+all. If it were merely problematical, left merely indifferent whether we
+should take this physic, use this confession, or no, a great physician
+acknowledges this to have been his practice, to minister to many things
+which he was not sure would do good, but never any other thing but such
+as he was sure would do no harm.[294] The use of this spiritual physic
+can certainly do no harm; and the church hath always thought that it
+might, and, doubtless, many humble souls have found, that it hath done
+them good. _I will therefore take the cup of salvation, and call upon
+thy name._[295] I will find this cup of compunction as full as I have
+formerly filled the cups of worldly confections, that so I may escape
+the cup of malediction and irrecoverable destruction that depends upon
+that. And since thy blessed and glorious Son, being offered, in the way
+to his execution, a cup of stupefaction,[296] to take away the sense of
+his pain (a charity afforded to condemned persons ordinarily in those
+places and times), refused that ease, and embraced the whole torment, I
+take not this cup, but this vessel of mine own sins into my
+contemplation, and I pour them out here according to the motions of thy
+Holy Spirit, and any where according to the ordinances of thy holy
+church.
+
+
+XX. PRAYER.
+
+O eternal and most gracious God, who having married man and woman
+together, and made them one flesh, wouldst have them also to become one
+soul, so as that they might maintain a sympathy in their affections, and
+have a conformity to one another in the accidents of this world, good or
+bad; so having married this soul and this body in me, I humbly beseech
+thee that my soul may look and make her use of thy merciful proceedings
+towards my bodily restitution, and go the same way to a spiritual. I am
+come, by thy goodness, to the use of thine ordinary means for my body,
+to wash away those peccant humours that endangered it. I have, O Lord, a
+river in my body, but a sea in my soul, and a sea swollen into the depth
+of a deluge, above the sea. Thou hast raised up certain hills in me
+heretofore, by which I might have stood safe from these inundations of
+sin. Even our natural faculties are a hill, and might preserve us from
+some sin. Education, study, observation, example, are hills too, and
+might preserve us from some. Thy church, and thy word, and thy
+sacraments, and thine ordinances are hills above these; thy spirit of
+remorse, and compunction, and repentance for former sin, are hills too;
+and to the top of all these hills thou hast brought me heretofore; but
+this deluge, this inundation, is got above all my hills; and I have
+sinned and sinned, and multiplied sin to sin, after all these thy
+assistances against sin, and where is there water enough to wash away
+this deluge? There is a red sea, greater than this ocean, and there is a
+little spring, through which this ocean may pour itself into that red
+sea. Let thy spirit of true contrition and sorrow pass all my sins,
+through these eyes, into the wounds of thy Son, and I shall be clean,
+and my soul so much better purged than my body, as it is ordained for
+better and a longer life.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[285] August.
+
+[286] Eccles. xi. 4.
+
+[287] Prov. x. 4.
+
+[288] Psalm xxiv. 3.
+
+[289] Exod. xxxii. 29.
+
+[290] 1 Sam. xxii. 17.
+
+[291] Lev. viii. 36.
+
+[292] Galen.
+
+[293] Galen.
+
+[294] Galen.
+
+[295] Psalm cxvi. 13.
+
+[296] Mark, xv. 23.
+
+
+
+
+ XXI. -------------- ATQUE ANNUIT ILLE,
+ QUI, PER EOS, CLAMAT, LINQUAS JAM, LAZARE, LECTUM.
+
+_God prospers their practice, and he, by them, calls Lazarus out of his
+tomb, me out of my bed._
+
+
+XXI. MEDITATION.
+
+If man had been left alone in this world at first, shall I think that he
+would not have fallen? If there had been no woman, would not man have
+served to have been his own tempter? When I see him now subject to
+infinite weaknesses, fall into infinite sin without any foreign
+temptations, shall I think he would have had none, if he had been alone?
+God saw that man needed a helper, if he should be well; but to make
+woman ill, the devil saw that there needed no third. When God and we
+were alone in Adam, that was not enough; when the devil and we were
+alone in Eve, it was enough. O what a giant is man when he fights
+against himself, and what a dwarf when he needs or exercises his own
+assistance for himself? I cannot rise out of my bed till the physician
+enable me, nay, I cannot tell that I am able to rise till he tell me so.
+I do nothing, I know nothing of myself; how little and how impotent a
+piece of the world is any man alone? And how much less a piece of
+himself is that man? So little as that when it falls out (as it falls
+out in some cases) that more misery and more oppression would be an ease
+to a man, he cannot give himself that miserable addition of more misery.
+A man that is pressed to death, and might be eased by more weights,
+cannot lay those more weights upon himself: he can sin alone, and suffer
+alone, but not repent, not be absolved, without another. Another tells
+me, I may rise; and I do so. But is every raising a preferment? or is
+every present preferment a station? I am readier to fall to the earth,
+now I am up, than I was when I lay in the bed. O perverse way, irregular
+motion of man; even rising itself is the way to ruin! How many men are
+raised, and then do not fill the place they are raised to? No corner of
+any place can be empty; there can be no vacuity. If that man do not fill
+the place, other men will; complaints of his insufficiency will fill it;
+nay, such an abhorring is there in nature of vacuity, that if there be
+but an imagination of not filling, in any man, that which is but
+imagination, neither will fill it, that is, rumour and voice, and it
+will be given out (upon no ground but imagination, and no man knows
+whose imagination), that he is corrupt in his place, or insufficient in
+his place, and another prepared to succeed him in his place. A man rises
+sometimes and stands not, because he doth not or is not believed to fill
+his place; and sometimes he stands not because he overfills his place.
+He may bring so much virtue, so much justice, so much integrity to the
+place, as shall spoil the place, burthen the place; his integrity may be
+a libel upon his predecessor and cast an infamy upon him, and a burthen
+upon his successor to proceed by example, and to bring the place itself
+to an undervalue and the market to an uncertainty. I am up, and I seem
+to stand, and I go round, and I am a new argument of the new philosophy,
+that the earth moves round; why may I not believe that the whole earth
+moves, in a round motion, though that seem to me to stand, when as I
+seem to stand to my company, and yet am carried in a giddy and circular
+motion as I stand? Man hath no centre but misery; there, and only there,
+he is fixed, and sure to find himself. How little soever he be raised,
+he moves, and moves in a circle giddily; and as in the heavens there are
+but a few circles that go about the whole world, but many epicycles, and
+other lesser circles, but yet circles; so of those men which are raised
+and put into circles, few of them move from place to place, and pass
+through many and beneficial places, but fall into little circles, and,
+within a step or two, are at their end, and not so well as they were in
+the centre, from which they were raised. Every thing serves to
+exemplify, to illustrate man's misery. But I need go no farther than
+myself: for a long time I was not able to rise; at last I must be raised
+by others; and now I am up, I am ready to sink lower than before.
+
+
+XXI. EXPOSTULATION.
+
+My God, my God, how large a glass of the next world is this! As we have
+an art, to cast from one glass to another, and so to carry the species a
+great way off, so hast thou, that way, much more; we shall have a
+resurrection in heaven; the knowledge of that thou castest by another
+glass upon us here; we feel that we have a resurrection from sin, and
+that by another glass too; we see we have a resurrection of the body
+from the miseries and calamities of this life. This resurrection of my
+body shows me the resurrection of my soul; and both here severally, of
+both together hereafter. Since thy martyrs under the altar press thee
+with their solicitation for the resurrection of the body to glory, thou
+wouldst pardon me, if I should press thee by prayer for the
+accomplishing of this resurrection, which thou hast begun in me, to
+health. But, O my God, I do not ask, where I might ask amiss, nor beg
+that which perchance might be worse for me. I have a bed of sin; delight
+in sin is a bed: I have a grave of sin; senselessness of sin is a grave:
+and where Lazarus had been four days, I have been fifty years in this
+putrefaction; why dost thou not call me, as thou didst him, _with a loud
+voice_,[297] since my soul is as dead as his body was? I need thy
+thunder, O my God; thy music will not serve me. Thou hast called thy
+servants, who are to work upon us in thine ordinance, by all these loud
+names--winds, and chariots, and falls of waters; where thou wouldst be
+heard, thou wilt be heard. When thy Son concurred with thee to the
+making of man, there it is but a speaking, but a saying. There, O
+blessed and glorious Trinity, was none to hear but you three, and you
+easily hear one another, because you say the same things. But when thy
+Son came to the work of redemption, thou spokest,[298] and they that
+heard it took it for thunder; and thy Son himself cried with a loud
+voice upon the cross twice,[299] as he who was to prepare his coming,
+John Baptist, was the voice of a crier, and not of a whisperer. Still,
+if it be thy voice, it is a loud voice. _These words_, says thy Moses,
+_thou spokest with a great voice, and thou addedst no more_,[300] says
+he there. That which thou hast said is evident, and it is evident that
+none can speak so loud; none can bind us to hear him, as we must thee.
+_The Most High uttered his voice._ What was his voice? _The Lord
+thundered from heaven_,[301] it might be heard; but this voice, thy
+voice, is also a _mighty voice_;[302] not only mighty in power, it may
+be heard, nor mighty in obligation, it should be heard; but mighty in
+operation, it will be heard; and therefore hast thou bestowed a whole
+psalm[303] upon us, to lead us to the consideration of thy voice. It is
+such a voice as that thy Son says, _the dead shall hear it_;[304] and
+that is my state. And why, O God, dost thou not speak to me, in that
+effectual loudness? Saint John heard a voice, and _he turned about to
+see the voice_:[305] sometimes we are too curious of the instrument by
+what man God speaks; but thou speakest loudest when thou speakest to the
+heart. _There was silence, and I heard a voice_, says one, to thy
+servant Job.[306] I hearken after thy voice in thine ordinances, and I
+seek not a whispering in conventicles; but yet, O my God, speak louder,
+that so, though I do hear thee now, then I may hear nothing but thee. My
+sins cry aloud; Cain's murder did so: my afflictions cry aloud; _the
+floods have lifted up their voice_ (and waters are afflictions), _but
+thou, O Lord, art mightier than the voice of many waters_;[307] than
+many temporal, many spiritual afflictions, than any of either kind: and
+why dost thou not speak to me in that voice? _What is man, and whereto
+serveth he? What is his good and what is his evil?_[308] My bed of sin
+is not evil, not desperately evil, for thou dost call me out of it; but
+my rising out of it is not good (not perfectly good), if thou call not
+louder, and hold me now I am up. O my God, I am afraid of a fearful
+application of those words, _When a man hath done, then he
+beginneth_;[309] when this body is unable to sin, his sinful memory sins
+over his old sins again; and that which thou wouldst have us to remember
+for compunction, we remember with delight. _Bring him to me in his bed,
+that I may kill him_,[310] says Saul of David: thou hast not said so,
+that is not thy voice. Joash's own servants slew him when he was sick
+in his bed:[311] thou hast not suffered that, that my servants should so
+much as neglect me, or be weary of me in my sickness. Thou threatenest,
+that _as a shepherd takes out of the mouth of the lion two legs, or a
+piece of an ear, so shall the children of Israel, that dwell in Samaria,
+in the corner of a bed, and in Damascus, in a couch, be taken
+away_;[312] and even they that are secure from danger shall perish. How
+much more might I, who was in the bed of death, die? But thou hast not
+so dealt with me. As they brought out sick persons in beds, that thy
+servant Peter's shadow might over-shadow them,[313] thou hast, O my God,
+over-shadowed me, refreshed me; but when wilt thou do more? When wilt
+thou do all? When wilt thou speak in thy loud voice? When wilt thou bid
+me _take up my bed and walk_?[314] As my bed is my affections, when
+shall I bear them so as to subdue them? As my bed is my afflictions,
+when shall I bear them so as not to murmur at them? When shall I take up
+my bed and walk? Not lie down upon it, as it is my pleasure, not sink
+under it, as it is my correction? But O my God, my God, the God of all
+flesh, and of all spirit, to let me be content with that in my fainting
+spirit, which thou declarest in this decayed flesh, that as this body is
+content to sit still, that it may learn to stand, and to learn by
+standing to walk, and by walking to travel, so my soul, by obeying this
+thy voice of rising, may by a farther and farther growth of thy grace
+proceed so, and be so established, as may remove all suspicions, all
+jealousies between thee and me, and may speak and hear in such a voice,
+as that still I may be acceptable to thee, and satisfied from thee.
+
+
+XXI. PRAYER.
+
+O eternal and most gracious God, who hast made little things to signify
+great, and conveyed the infinite merits of thy Son in the water of
+baptism, and in the bread and wine of thy other sacrament, unto us,
+receive the sacrifice of my humble thanks, that thou hast not only
+afforded me the ability to rise out of this bed of weariness and
+discomfort, but hast also made this bodily rising, by thy grace, an
+earnest of a second resurrection from sin, and of a third, to
+everlasting glory. Thy Son himself, always infinite in himself, and
+incapable of addition, was yet pleased to grow in the Virgin's womb, and
+to grow in stature in the sight of men. Thy good purposes upon me, I
+know, have their determination and perfection in thy holy will upon me;
+there thy grace is, and there I am altogether; but manifest them so unto
+me, in thy seasons, and in thy measures and degrees, that I may not only
+have that comfort of knowing thee to be infinitely good, but that also
+of finding thee to be every day better and better to me; and that as
+thou gavest Saint Paul the messenger of Satan, to humble him so for my
+humiliation, thou mayst give me thyself in this knowledge, that what
+grace soever thou afford me to-day, yet I should perish to-morrow if I
+had not had to-morrow's grace too. Therefore I beg of thee my daily
+bread; and as thou gavest me the bread of sorrow for many days, and
+since the bread of hope for some, and this day the bread of possessing,
+in rising by that strength, which thou the God of all strength hast
+infused into me, so, O Lord, continue to me the bread of life: the
+spiritual bread of life, in a faithful assurance in thee; the
+sacramental bread of life, in a worthy receiving of thee; and the more
+real bread of life in an everlasting union to thee. I know, O Lord,
+that when thou hast created angels, and they saw thee produce fowl, and
+fish, and beasts, and worms, they did not importune thee, and say, Shall
+we have no better creatures than these, no better companions than these?
+but stayed thy leisure, and then had man delivered over to them, not
+much inferior in nature to themselves. No more do I, O God, now that by
+thy first mercy I am able to rise, importune thee for present
+confirmation of health; nor now, that by thy mercy I am brought to see
+that thy correction hath wrought medicinally upon me, presume I upon
+that spiritual strength I have; but as I acknowledge that my bodily
+strength is subject to every puff of wind, so is my spiritual strength
+to every blast of vanity. Keep me therefore still, O my gracious God, in
+such a proportion of both strengths, as I may still have something to
+thank thee for, which I have received, and still something to pray for
+and ask at thy hand.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[297] John, xi. 43.
+
+[298] John, xii. 28.
+
+[299] Matt. xxvii. 46, 50.
+
+[300] Deut. v. 22.
+
+[301] 2 Sam. xxii. 14.
+
+[302] Psalm lxviii. 33.
+
+[303] Psalm xxix.
+
+[304] John, v. 25.
+
+[305] Rev. i. 12.
+
+[306] Job, iv. 16.
+
+[307] Psalm xciii. 3, 4.
+
+[308] Ecclus. xviii, 8.
+
+[309] Ecclus. v. 7.
+
+[310] 1 Sam. xix. 15.
+
+[311] 2 Chron. xxiv. 25.
+
+[312] Amos, iii. 12.
+
+[313] Acts, v. 15.
+
+[314] Matt. ix. 6.
+
+
+
+
+XXII. SIT MORBI FOMES TIBI CURA.
+
+_The physicians consider the root and occasion, the embers, and coals,
+and fuel of the disease, and seek to purge or correct that._
+
+
+XXII. MEDITATION.
+
+How ruinous a farm hath man taken, in taking himself! How ready is the
+house every day to fall down, and how is all the ground overspread with
+weeds, all the body with diseases; where not only every turf, but every
+stone bears weeds; not only every muscle of the flesh, but every bone of
+the body hath some infirmity; every little flint upon the face of this
+soil hath some infectious weed, every tooth in our head such a pain as
+a constant man is afraid of, and yet ashamed of that fear, of that sense
+of the pain. How dear, and how often a rent doth man pay for his farm!
+He pays twice a day, in double meals, and how little time he hath to
+raise his rent! How many holidays to call him from his labour! Every day
+is half holiday, half spent in sleep. What reparations, and subsidies,
+and contributions he is put to, besides his rent! What medicines besides
+his diet; and what inmates he is fain to take in, besides his own
+family; what infectious diseases from other men! Adam might have had
+Paradise for dressing and keeping it; and then his rent was not improved
+to such a labour as would have made his brow sweat; and yet he gave it
+over; how far greater a rent do we pay for this farm, this body, who pay
+ourselves, who pay the farm itself, and cannot live upon it! Neither is
+our labour at an end when we have cut down some weed as soon as it
+sprung up, corrected some violent and dangerous accident of a disease
+which would have destroyed speedily, nor when we have pulled up that
+weed from the very root, recovered entirely and soundly from that
+particular disease; but the whole ground is of an ill nature, the whole
+soil ill disposed; there are inclinations, there is a propenseness to
+diseases in the body, out of which, without any other disorder, diseases
+will grow, and so we are put to a continual labour upon this farm, to a
+continual study of the whole complexion and constitution of our body. In
+the distempers and diseases of soils, sourness, dryness, weeping, any
+kind of barrenness, the remedy and the physic is, for a great part,
+sometimes in themselves; sometimes the very situation relieves them; the
+hanger of a hill will purge and vent his own malignant moisture, and the
+burning of the upper turf of some ground (as health from cauterizing)
+puts a new and a vigorous youth into that soil, and there rises a kind
+of phoenix out of the ashes, a fruitfulness out of that which was
+barren before, and by that which is the barrenest of all, ashes. And
+where the ground cannot give itself physic, yet it receives physic from
+other grounds, from other soils, which are not the worse for having
+contributed that help to them from marl in other hills, or from slimy
+sand in other shores, grounds help themselves, or hurt not other grounds
+from whence they receive help. But I have taken a farm at this hard
+rent, and upon those heavy covenants, that it can afford itself no help
+(no part of my body, if it were cut off, would cure another part; in
+some cases it might preserve a sound part, but in no case recover an
+infected); and if my body may have had any physic, any medicine from
+another body, one man from the flesh of another man (as by mummy, or any
+such composition), it must be from a man that is dead, and not as in
+other soils, which are never the worse for contributing their marl or
+their fat slime to my ground. There is nothing in the same man to help
+man, nothing in mankind to help one another (in this sort, by way of
+physic), but that he who ministers the help is in as ill case as he that
+receives it would have been if he had not had it; for he from whose body
+the physic comes is dead. When therefore I took this farm, undertook
+this body, I undertook to drain not a marsh but a moat, where there was,
+not water mingled to offend, but all was water; I undertook to perfume
+dung, where no one part but all was equally unsavoury; I undertook to
+make such a thing wholesome, as was not poison by any manifest quality,
+intense heat or cold, but poison in the whole substance, and in the
+specific form of it. To cure the sharp accidents of diseases is a great
+work; to cure the disease itself is a greater; but to cure the body,
+the root, the occasion of diseases, is a work reserved for the great
+physician, which he doth never any other way but by glorifying these
+bodies in the next world.
+
+
+XXII. EXPOSTULATION.
+
+My God, my God, what am I put to when I am put to consider and put off
+the root, the fuel, the occasion of my sickness? What Hippocrates, what
+Galen, could show me that in my body? It lies deeper than so, it lies in
+my soul; and deeper than so, for we may well consider the body before
+the soul came, before inanimation, to be without sin; and the soul,
+before it come to the body, before that infection, to be without sin:
+sin is the root and the fuel of all sickness, and yet that which
+destroys body and soul is in neither, but in both together. It is the
+union of the body and soul, and, O my God, could I prevent that, or can
+I dissolve that? The root and the fuel of my sickness is my sin, my
+actual sin; but even that sin hath another root, another fuel, original
+sin; and can I divest that? Wilt thou bid me to separate the leaven that
+a lump of dough hath received, or the salt, that the water hath
+contracted, from the sea? Dost thou look, that I should so look to the
+fuel or embers of sin, that I never take fire? The whole world is a pile
+of fagots, upon which we are laid, and (as though there were no other)
+we are the bellows. Ignorance blows the fire. He that touched any
+unclean thing, though he knew it not, became unclean,[315] and a
+sacrifice was required (therefore a sin imputed), though it were done in
+ignorance.[316] Ignorance blows this coal; but then knowledge much more;
+for there are that _know thy judgments, and yet not only do, but have
+pleasure in others that do against them_.[317] Nature blows this coal;
+_by nature we are the children of wrath_;[318] and the law blows it; thy
+apostle Saint Paul found that _sin took occasion by the law_, that
+therefore, because it is forbidden, we do some things. If we break the
+law, we sin; _sin is the transgression of the law_;[319] and sin itself
+becomes a law in our members.[320] Our fathers have imprinted the seed,
+infused a spring of sin in us. _As a fountain casteth out her waters_,
+we _cast out our wickedness_, but _we have done worse than our
+fathers_.[321] We are open to infinite temptations, and yet, as though
+we lacked, we are tempted of our own lusts.[322] And not satisfied with
+that, as though we were not powerful enough, or cunning enough, to
+demolish or undermine ourselves, when we ourselves have no pleasure in
+the sin, we sin for others' sakes. When Adam sinned for Eve's sake,[323]
+and Solomon to gratify his wives,[324] it was an uxorious sin; when the
+judges sinned for Jezebel's sake,[325] and Joab to obey David,[326] it
+was an ambitious sin; when Pilate sinned to humour the people,[327] and
+Herod to give farther contentment to the Jews,[328] it was a popular
+sin. Any thing serves to occasion sin, at home in my bosom, or abroad in
+my mark and aim; that which I am, and that which I am not, that which I
+would be, proves coals, and embers, and fuel, and bellows to sin; and
+dost thou put me, O my God, to discharge myself of myself, before I can
+be well? When thou bidst me _to put off the old man_,[329] dost thou
+mean not only my old habits of actual sin, but the oldest of all,
+original sin? When thou bidst me _purge out the leaven_,[330] dost thou
+mean not only the sourness of mine own ill contracted customs, but the
+innate tincture of sin imprinted by nature? How shall I do that which
+thou requirest, and not falsify that which thou hast said, that sin is
+gone over all? But, O my God, I press thee not with thine own text,
+without thine own comment; I know that in the state of my body, which is
+more discernible than that of my soul, thou dost effigiate my soul to
+me. And though no anatomist can say, in dissecting a body, "Here lay the
+coal, the fuel, the occasion of all bodily diseases," but yet a man may
+have such a knowledge of his own constitution and bodily inclination to
+diseases, as that he may prevent his danger in a great part; so, though
+we cannot assign the place of original sin, nor the nature of it, so
+exactly as of actual, or by any diligence divest it, yet, having washed
+it in the water of thy baptism, we have not only so cleansed it, that we
+may the better look upon it and discern it, but so weakened it, that
+howsoever it may retain the former nature, it doth not retain the former
+force, and though it may have the same name, it hath not the same venom.
+
+
+XXII. PRAYER.
+
+O eternal and most gracious God, the God of security, and the enemy of
+security too, who wouldst have us always sure of thy love, and yet
+wouldst have us always doing something for it, let me always so
+apprehend thee as present with me, and yet so follow after thee, as
+though I had not apprehended thee. Thou enlargedst Hezekiah's lease for
+fifteen years; thou renewedst Lazarus's lease for a time which we know
+not; but thou didst never so put out any of these fires as that thou
+didst not rake up the embers, and wrap up a future mortality in that
+body, which thou hadst then so reprieved. Thou proceedest no otherwise
+in our souls, O our good but fearful God; thou pardonest no sin, so as
+that that sinner can sin no more; thou makest no man so acceptable as
+that thou makest him impeccable. Though therefore it were a diminution
+of the largeness, and derogatory to the fulness of thy mercy, to look
+back upon the sins which in a true repentance I have buried in the
+wounds of thy Son, with a jealous or suspicious eye, as though they were
+now my sins, when I had so transferred them upon thy Son, as though they
+could now be raised to life again, to condemn me to death, when they are
+dead in him who is the fountain of life, yet were it an irregular
+anticipation, and an insolent presumption, to think that thy present
+mercy extended to all my future sins, or that there were no embers, no
+coals, of future sins left in me. Temper therefore thy mercy so to my
+soul, O my God, that I may neither decline to any faintness of spirit,
+in suspecting thy mercy now to be less hearty, less sincere, than it
+uses to be, to those who are perfectly reconciled to thee, nor presume
+so of it as either to think this present mercy an antidote against all
+poisons, and so expose myself to temptations, upon confidence that this
+thy mercy shall preserve me, or that when I do cast myself into new
+sins, I may have new mercy at any time, because thou didst so easily
+afford me this.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[315] Lev. v. 2.
+
+[316] Num. xv. 24.
+
+[317] Rom. i. 32.
+
+[318] Eph. ii. 3.
+
+[319] 1 John, iii. 4.
+
+[320] Rom. vii. 23.
+
+[321] Jer. vi. 7; vii. 26.
+
+[322] James, i. 14.
+
+[323] Gen. iii. 6.
+
+[324] 1 Kings, xi. 3.
+
+[325] 1 Kings, xxi.
+
+[326] 2 Sam. xi. 16-21.
+
+[327] Luke, xxiii. 23.
+
+[328] Acts, xii. 3.
+
+[329] Eph. iv. 22.
+
+[330] 1 Cor. v. 7.
+
+
+
+
+XXIII. METUSQUE, RELABI.
+
+_They warn me of the fearful danger of relapsing._
+
+
+XXIII. MEDITATION.
+
+It is not in man's body, as it is in the city, that when the bell hath
+rung, to cover your fire, and rake up the embers, you may lie down and
+sleep without fear. Though you have by physic and diet raked up the
+embers of your disease, still there is a fear of a relapse; and the
+greater danger is in that. Even in pleasures and in pains, there is a
+proprietary, a _meum et tuum_, and a man is most affected with that
+pleasure which is his, his by former enjoying and experience, and most
+intimidated with those pains which are his, his by a woful sense of
+them, in former afflictions. A covetous person, who hath preoccupated
+all his senses, filled all his capacities with the delight of gathering,
+wonders how any man can have any taste of any pleasure in any openness
+or liberality; so also in bodily pains, in a fit of the stone, the
+patient wonders why any man should call the gout a pain; and he that
+hath felt neither, but the toothache, is as much afraid of a fit of that
+as either of the other of either of the other. Diseases which we never
+felt in ourselves come but to a compassion of others that have endured
+them; nay, compassion itself comes to no great degree if we have not
+felt in some proportion in ourselves that which we lament and condole in
+another. But when we have had those torments in their exaltation
+ourselves, we tremble at relapse. When we must pant through all those
+fiery heats, and sail through all those overflowing sweats, when we must
+watch through all those long nights, and mourn through all those long
+days (days and nights, so long as that Nature herself shall seem to be
+perverted, and to have put the longest day, and the longest night, which
+should be six months asunder, into one natural, unnatural day), when we
+must stand at the same bar, expect the return of physicians from their
+consultations, and not be sure of the same verdict, in any good
+indications, when we must go the same way over again, and not see the
+same issue, that is a state, a condition, a calamity, in respect of
+which any other sickness were a convalescence, and any greater, less. It
+adds to the affliction, that relapses are (and for the most part justly)
+imputed to ourselves, as occasioned by some disorder in us; and so we
+are not only passive but active in our own ruin; we do not only stand
+under a falling house, but pull it down upon us; and we are not only
+executed (that implies guiltiness), but we are executioners (that
+implies dishonour), and executioners of ourselves (and that implies
+impiety). And we fall from that comfort which we might have in our first
+sickness, from that meditation, "Alas, how generally miserable is man,
+and how subject to diseases" (for in that it is some degree of comfort
+that we are but in the state common to all), we fall, I say, to this
+discomfort, and self-accusing, and self-condemning: "Alas, how
+improvident, and in that how unthankful to God and his instruments, am I
+in making so ill use of so great benefits, in destroying so soon so long
+a work, in relapsing, by my disorder, to that from which they had
+delivered me": and so my meditation is fearfully transferred from the
+body to the mind, and from the consideration of the sickness to that
+sin, that sinful carelessness, by which I have occasioned my relapse.
+And amongst the many weights that aggravate a relapse, this also is one,
+that a relapse proceeds with a more violent dispatch, and more
+irremediably, because it finds the country weakened, and depopulated
+before. Upon a sickness, which as yet appears not, we can scarce fix a
+fear, because we know not what to fear; but as fear is the busiest and
+irksomest affection, so is a relapse (which is still ready to come) into
+that which is but newly gone, the nearest object, the most immediate
+exercise of that affection of fear.
+
+
+XXIII. EXPOSTULATION.
+
+My God, my God, my God, thou mighty Father, who hast been my physician;
+thou glorious Son, who hast been my physic; thou blessed Spirit, who
+hast prepared and applied all to me, shall I alone be able to overthrow
+the work of all you, and relapse into those spiritual sicknesses from
+which infinite mercies have withdrawn me? Though thou, O my God, have
+filled my measure with mercy, yet my measure was not so large as that of
+thy whole people, the nation, the numerous and glorious nation of
+Israel; and yet how often, how often did they fall into relapses! And
+then, where is my assurance? How easily thou passedst over many other
+sins in them, and how vehemently thou insistedst in those into which
+they so often relapsed; those were their murmurings against thee, in
+thine instruments and ministers, and their turnings upon other gods, and
+embracing the idolatries of their neighbours. O my God, how slippery a
+way, to how irrecoverable a bottom, is murmuring; and how near thyself
+he comes, that murmurs at him who comes from thee! The magistrate is the
+garment in which thou apparelest thyself, and he that shoots at the
+clothes cannot say he meant no ill to the man: thy people were fearful
+examples of that, for how often did their murmuring against thy
+ministers end in a departing from thee! When they would have other
+officers, they would have other gods; and still to-day's murmuring was
+to-morrow's idolatry; as their murmuring induced idolatry, and they
+relapsed often into both, I have found in myself, O my God (O my God,
+thou hast found it in me, and thy finding it hast showed it to me) such
+a transmigration of sin, as makes me afraid of relapsing too. The soul
+of sin (for we have made sin immortal, and it must have a soul), the
+soul of sin is disobedience to thee; and when one sin hath been dead in
+me, that soul hath passed into another sin. Our youth dies, and the sins
+of our youth with it; some sins die a violent death, and some a natural;
+poverty, penury, imprisonment, banishment, kill some sins in us, and
+some die of age; many ways we become unable to do that sin, but still
+the soul lives and passes into another sin; and that that was
+licentiousness grows ambition, and that comes to indevotion and
+spiritual coldness: we have three lives in our state of sin, and where
+the sins of youth expire, those of our middle years enter, and those of
+our age after them. This transmigration of sin found in myself, makes me
+afraid, O my God, of a relapse; but the occasion of my fear is more
+pregnant than so, for I have had, I have multiplied relapses already.
+Why, O my God, is a relapse so odious to thee? Not so much their
+murmuring and their idolatry, as their relapsing into those sins, seems
+to affect thee in thy disobedient people. _They limited the holy One of
+Israel_,[331] as thou complainest of them: that was a murmuring; but
+before thou chargest them with the fault itself, in the same place thou
+chargest them with the iterating, the redoubling of that fault before
+the fault was named; _How oft did they provoke me in the wilderness, and
+grieve me in the desert?_ That which brings thee to that exasperation
+against them, as to say, that thou wouldst break thine own oath rather
+than leave them unpunished (_They shall not see the land which I sware
+unto their fathers_) was because _they had tempted thee ten times_,[332]
+infinitely; upon that thou threatenest with that vehemency, _If you do
+in any wise go back, know for a certainty God will no more drive out any
+of these nations from before you; but they shall be snares and traps
+unto you, and scourges in your sides, and thorns in your eyes, till ye
+perish_.[333] No tongue but thine own, O my God, can express thine
+indignation against a nation relapsing to idolatry. Idolatry in any
+nation is deadly, but when the disease is complicated with a relapse (a
+knowledge and a profession of a former recovery), it is desperate; and
+thine anger works, not only where the evidence is pregnant and without
+exception (so thou sayest when it is said, that certain men in a city
+have withdrawn others to idolatry, and that inquiry is made, and it is
+found true; the city, and the inhabitants, and the cattle are to be
+destroyed),[334] but where there is but a suspicion, a rumour, of such a
+relapse to idolatry, thine anger is awakened, and thine indignation
+stirred. In the government of thy servant Joshua, there was a voice,
+that Reuben and Gad, with those of Manasseh, had built a new altar.[335]
+Israel doth not send one to inquire, but the whole congregation gathered
+to go up to war against them,[336] and there went a prince of every
+tribe; and they object to them, not so much their present declination to
+idolatry, as their relapse: _Is the iniquity of Peor too little for
+us?_[337] an idolatry formerly committed, and punished with the
+slaughter of twenty-four thousand delinquents. At last Reuben and Gad
+satisfy them, that that altar was not built for idolatry, but built as a
+pattern of theirs, that they might thereby profess themselves to be of
+the same profession that they were, and so the army returned without
+blood. Even where it comes not so far as to an actual relapse into
+idolatry, thou, O my God, becomest sensible of it; though thou, who
+seest the heart all the way, preventest all dangerous effects where
+there was no ill meaning, however there were occasion of suspicious
+rumours given to thine Israel of relapsing. So odious to thee, and so
+aggravating a weight upon sin is a relapse. But, O my God, why is it so?
+so odious? It must be so, because he that hath sinned and then repented,
+hath weighed God and the devil in a balance; he hath heard God and the
+devil plead, and after hearing given judgment on that side to which he
+adheres by his subsequent practice;[338] if he return to his sin, he
+decrees for Satan, he prefers sin before grace, and Satan before God;
+and in contempt of God, declares the precedency for his adversary; and a
+contempt wounds deeper than an injury, a relapse deeper than a
+blasphemy. And when thou hast told me that a relapse is more odious to
+thee, need I ask why it is more dangerous, more pernicious to me? Is
+there any other measure of the greatness of my danger, than the
+greatness of thy displeasure? How fitly and how fearfully hast thou
+expressed my case in a storm at sea, if I relapse; _They mount up to
+heaven, and they go down again to the depth_![339] My sickness brought
+me to thee in repentance, and my relapse hath cast me farther from thee.
+_The end of that man shall be worse than the beginning_,[340] says thy
+Word, thy Son; my beginning was sickness, punishment for sin: but _a
+worse thing may follow_,[341] says he also, if I sin again; not only
+death, which is an end worse than sickness, which was the beginning, but
+hell, which is a beginning worse than that end. Thy great servant
+denied thy Son,[342] and he denied him again, but all before repentance;
+here was no relapse. O, if thou hadst ever readmitted Adam into
+Paradise, how abstinently would he have walked by that tree! And would
+not the angels that fell have fixed themselves upon thee, if thou hadst
+once readmitted them to thy sight? They never relapsed; if I do, must
+not my case be as desperate? Not so desperate; for _as thy majesty, so
+is thy mercy_,[343] both infinite; and thou, who hast commanded me to
+pardon my brother seventy-seven times, hast limited thyself to no
+number. If death were ill in itself, thou wouldst never have raised any
+dead man to life again, because that man must necessarily die again. If
+thy mercy in pardoning did so far aggravate a relapse, as that there
+were no more mercy after it, our case were the worse for that former
+mercy; for who is not under even a necessity of sinning whilst he is
+here, if we place this necessity in our own infirmity, and not in thy
+decree? But I speak not this, O my God, as preparing a way to my relapse
+out of presumption, but to preclude all accesses of desperation, though
+out of infirmity I should relapse.
+
+
+XXIII. PRAYER.
+
+O eternal and most gracious God, who, though thou beest ever infinite,
+yet enlargest thyself by the number of our prayers, and takest our often
+petitions to thee to be an addition to thy glory and thy greatness, as
+ever upon all occasions, so now, O my God, I come to thy majesty with
+two prayers, two supplications. I have meditated upon the jealousy which
+thou hast of thine own honour, and considered that nothing comes nearer
+a violating of that honour, nearer to the nature of a scorn to thee,
+than to sue out thy pardon, and receive the seals of reconciliation to
+thee, and then return to that sin for which I needed and had thy pardon
+before. I know that this comes too near to a making thy holy ordinances,
+thy word, thy sacraments, thy seals, thy grace, instruments of my
+spiritual fornications. Since therefore thy correction hath brought me
+to such a participation of thyself (thyself, O my God, cannot be
+parted), to such an entire possession of thee, as that I durst deliver
+myself over to thee this minute, if this minute thou wouldst accept my
+dissolution, preserve me, O my God, the God of constancy and
+perseverance, in this state, from all relapses into those sins which
+have induced thy former judgments upon me. But because, by too
+lamentable experience, I know how slippery my customs of sin have made
+my ways of sin, I presume to add this petition too, that if my infirmity
+overtake me, thou forsake me not. Say to my soul, _My son, thou hast
+sinned, do so no more_;[344] but say also, that though I do, thy spirit
+of remorse and compunction shall never depart from me. Thy holy apostle,
+St. Paul, was shipwrecked thrice,[345] and yet still saved. Though the
+rocks and the sands, the heights and the shallows, the prosperity and
+the adversity of this world, do diversely threaten me, though mine own
+leaks endanger me, yet, O God, let me never put myself aboard with
+Hymenaeus, nor _make shipwreck of faith and a good conscience_,[346] and
+then thy long-lived, thy everlasting mercy, will visit me, though that
+which I most earnestly pray against, should fall upon me, a relapse into
+those sins which I have truly repented, and thou hast fully pardoned.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[331] Psalm lxxviii. 41.
+
+[332] Numb. xiv. 22, 23.
+
+[333] Josh. xxiii. 12, 13.
+
+[334] Deut. xiii. 12-16.
+
+[335] Josh. xxii. 11, 12.
+
+[336] Josh. xxii. 11, 12.
+
+[337] Josh. xxii. 17.
+
+[338] Tertullian.
+
+[339] Psalm cvii. 26.
+
+[340] Matt. xii. 45.
+
+[341] John, v. 14.
+
+[342] Mark, xiv. 70.
+
+[343] Ecclus. ii. 18.
+
+[344] Ecclus. i. 21.
+
+[345] 2 Cor. xi. 25.
+
+[346] 1 Tim. i. 19.
+
+
+
+
+_DEATH'S DUEL,_
+
+_OR, A CONSOLATION TO THE SOUL
+AGAINST THE DYING LIFE AND LIVING
+DEATH OF THE BODY._
+
+_DELIVERED IN A SERMON AT WHITEHALL, BEFORE
+THE KING'S MAJESTY, IN THE BEGINNING
+OF LENT, 1630._
+
+_BY THAT LATE LEARNED AND REVEREND DIVINE,
+JOHN DONNE, DR. IN DIVINITY, AND DEAN
+OF ST. PAUL'S, LONDON._
+
+_BEING HIS LAST SERMON, AND CALLED BY HIS
+MAJESTY'S HOUSEHOLD, THE DOCTOR'S OWN
+FUNERAL SERMON._
+
+
+
+
+_TO THE READER_
+
+
+_This sermon was, by sacred authority, styled the author's own funeral
+sermon, most fitly, whether we respect the time or matter. It was
+preached not many days before his death, as if, having done this, there
+remained nothing for him to do but to die; and the matter is of
+death--the occasion and subject of all funeral sermons. It hath been
+observed of this reverend man, that his faculty in preaching continually
+increased, and that, as he exceeded others at first, so at last he
+exceeded himself. This is his last sermon; I will not say it is
+therefore his best, because all his were excellent. Yet thus much: a
+dying man's words, if they concern ourselves, do usually make the
+deepest impression, as being spoken most feelingly, and with least
+affectation. Now, whom doth it concern to learn both the danger and
+benefit of death? Death is every man's enemy, and intends hurt to all,
+though to many he be occasion of greatest good. This enemy we must all
+combat dying, whom he living did almost conquer, having discovered the
+utmost of his power, the utmost of his cruelty. May we make such use of
+this and other the like preparatives, that neither death, whensoever it
+shall come, may seem terrible, nor life tedious, how long soever it
+shall last._
+
+
+
+
+_DEATH'S DUEL_
+
+PSALM LXVIII. 20, _in fine_.
+
+_And unto God the Lord belong the issues of death (i.e. from death)._
+
+
+Buildings stand by the benefit of their foundations that sustain and
+support them, and of their buttresses that comprehend and embrace them,
+and of their contignations that knit and unite them. The foundations
+suffer them not to sink, the buttresses suffer them not to swerve, and
+the contignation and knitting suffers them not to cleave. The body of
+our building is in the former part of this verse. It is this: _He that
+is our God is the God of salvation_; _ad salutes_, of salvations in the
+plural, so it is in the original; the God that gives us spiritual and
+temporal salvation too. But of this building, the foundation, the
+buttresses, the contignations, are in this part of the verse which
+constitutes our text, and in the three divers acceptations of the words
+amongst our expositors: _Unto God the Lord belong the issues from
+death_, for, first, the foundation of this building (that our God is the
+God of all salvation) is laid in this, that _unto_ this _God the Lord
+belong the issues of death_; that is, it is in his power to give us an
+issue and deliverance, even then when we are brought to the jaws and
+teeth of death, and to the lips of that whirlpool, the grave. And so in
+this acceptation, this _exitus mortis_, this issue of death is
+_liberatio a morte_, a deliverance from death, and this is the most
+obvious and most ordinary acceptation of these words, and that upon
+which our translation lays hold, the _issues from death_. And then,
+secondly, the buttresses that comprehend and settle this building, that
+he that is our God is the God of all salvation, are thus raised; _unto
+God the Lord belong the issues of death_, that is, the disposition and
+manner of our death; what kind of issue and transmigration we shall have
+out of this world, whether prepared or sudden, whether violent or
+natural, whether in our perfect senses or shaken and disordered by
+sickness, there is no condemnation to be argued out of that, no judgment
+to be made upon that, for, howsoever they die, _precious in his sight is
+the death of his saints_, and with him are the issues of death; the ways
+of our departing out of this life are in his hands. And so in this sense
+of the words, this _exitus mortis_, the issues of death, is _liberatio
+in morte_, a deliverance in death; not that God will deliver us from
+dying, but that he will have a care of us in the hour of death, of what
+kind soever our passage be. And in this sense and acceptation of the
+words, the natural frame and contexture doth well and pregnantly
+administer unto us. And then, lastly, the contignation and knitting of
+this building, that he that is our God is the God of all salvations,
+consists in this, _Unto_ this _God the Lord belong the issues of death_;
+that is, that this God the Lord having united and knit both natures in
+one, and being God, having also come into this world in our flesh, he
+could have no other means to save us, he could have no other issue out
+of this world, nor return to his former glory, but by death. And so in
+this sense, this _exitus mortis_, this issue of death, is _liberatio per
+mortem_, a deliverance by death, by the death of this God, our Lord
+Christ Jesus. And this is Saint Augustine's acceptation of the words,
+and those many and great persons that have adhered to him. In all these
+three lines, then, we shall look upon these words, first, as the God of
+power, the Almighty Father rescues his servants from the jaws of death;
+and then as the God of mercy, the glorious Son rescued us by taking upon
+himself this issue of death; and then, between these two, as the God of
+comfort, the Holy Ghost rescues us from all discomfort by his blessed
+impressions beforehand, that what manner of death soever be ordained for
+us, yet this _exitus mortis_ shall be _introitus in vitam_, our issue in
+death shall be an entrance into everlasting life. And these three
+considerations: our deliverance _a morte, in morte, per mortem_, from
+death, in death, and by death, will abundantly do all the offices of the
+foundations, of the buttresses, of the contignation, of this our
+building; that he that is our God is the God of all salvation, because
+_unto_ this _God the Lord belong the issues of death_.
+
+First, then, we consider this _exitus mortis_ to be _liberatio a morte_,
+that with _God the Lord are the issues of death_; and therefore in all
+our death, and deadly calamities of this life, we may justly hope of a
+good issue from him. In all our periods and transitions in this life,
+are so many passages from death to death; our very birth and entrance
+into this life is _exitus a morte_, an issue from death, for in our
+mother's womb we are dead, so as that we do not know we live, not so
+much as we do in our sleep, neither is there any grave so close or so
+putrid a prison, as the womb would be unto us if we stayed in it beyond
+our time, or died there before our time. In the grave the worms do not
+kill us; we breed, and feed, and then kill those worms which we
+ourselves produced. In the womb the dead child kills the mother that
+conceived it, and is a murderer, nay, a parricide, even after it is
+dead. And if we be not dead so in the womb, so as that being dead we
+kill her that gave us our first life, our life of vegetation, yet we are
+dead so as David's idols are dead. In the womb we have _eyes and see
+not, ears and hear not_.[347] There in the womb we are fitted for works
+of darkness, all the while deprived of light; and there in the womb we
+are taught cruelty, by being fed with blood, and may be damned, though
+we be never born. Of our very making in the womb, David says, _I am
+wonderfully and fearfully made_, and _such knowledge is too excellent
+for me_,[348] for even that _is the Lord's doing, and it is wonderful in
+our eyes_;[349] ipse fecit nos, _it is he that made us, and not we
+ourselves_,[350] nor our parents neither. _Thy hands have made and
+fashioned me round about_, saith Job, _and_ (as the original word is)
+_thou hast taken pains about me, and yet_ (says he) _thou dost destroy
+me_. Though I be the masterpiece of the greatest master (man is so), yet
+if thou do no more for me, if thou leave me where thou madest me,
+destruction will follow. The womb, which should be the house of life,
+becomes death itself if God leave us there. That which God threatens so
+often, the shutting of a womb, is not so heavy nor so discomfortable a
+curse in the first as in the latter shutting, nor in the shutting of
+barrenness as in the shutting of weakness, when _children are come to
+the birth, and no strength to bring forth_.[351]
+
+It is the exaltation of misery to fall from a near hope of happiness.
+And in that vehement imprecation, the prophet expresses the highest of
+God's anger, _Give them, O Lord, what wilt thou give them? give them a
+miscarrying womb._ Therefore as soon as we are men (that is, inanimated,
+quickened in the womb), though we cannot ourselves, our parents have to
+say in our behalf, _Wretched man that he is, who shall deliver him from
+this body of death?_[352] if there be no deliverer. It must be he that
+said to Jeremiah, _Before I formed thee I knew thee, and before thou
+camest out of the womb I sanctified thee_. We are not sure that there
+was no kind of ship nor boat to fish in, nor to pass by, till God
+prescribed Noah that absolute form of the ark.[353] That word which the
+Holy Ghost, by Moses, useth for the ark, is common to all kind of boats,
+_thebah_; and is the same word that Moses useth for the boat that he was
+exposed in, that his mother laid him in an ark of bulrushes. But we are
+sure that Eve had no midwife when she was delivered of Cain, therefore
+she might well say, _Possedi virum a Domino, I have gotten a man from
+the Lord_,[354] wholly, entirely from the Lord; it is the Lord that
+enabled me to conceive, the Lord that infused a quickening soul into
+that conception, the Lord that brought into the world that which himself
+had quickened; without all this might Eve say, my body had been but the
+house of death, and _Domini Domini sunt exitus mortis, To God the Lord
+belong the issues of death_. But then this _exitus a morte_ is but
+_introitus in mortem_; this issue, this deliverance, from that death,
+the death of the womb, is an entrance, a delivering over to another
+death, the manifold deaths of this world; we have a winding-sheet in our
+mother's womb which grows with us from our conception, and we come into
+the world wound up in that winding-sheet, for we come to seek a grave.
+And as prisoners discharged of actions may lie for fees, so when the
+womb hath discharged us, yet we are bound to it by cords of hestae, by
+such a string as that we cannot go thence, nor stay there; we celebrate
+our own funerals with cries even at our birth; as though our threescore
+and ten years' life were spent in our mother's labour, and our circle
+made up in the first point thereof; we beg our baptism with another
+sacrament, with tears; and we come into a world that lasts many ages,
+but we last not. _In domo Patris_, says our Saviour, speaking of heaven,
+_multae mansiones_, divers and durable; so that if a man cannot possess a
+martyr's house (he hath shed no blood for Christ), yet he may have a
+confessor's, he hath been ready to glorify God in the shedding of his
+blood. And if a woman cannot possess a virgin's house (she hath embraced
+the holy state of marriage), yet she may have a matron's house, she hath
+brought forth and brought up children in the fear of God. _In domo
+Patris, in my Father's house_, in heaven, there _are many
+mansions_;[355] but here, upon earth, the _Son of man hath not where to
+lay his head_,[356] saith he himself. _Nonne terram dedit filiis
+hominum?_ How then hath God given this earth to the sons of men? He hath
+given them earth for their materials to be made of earth, and he hath
+given them earth for their grave and sepulchre, to return and resolve to
+earth, but not for their possession. _Here we have no continuing
+city_,[357] nay, no cottage that continues, nay, no persons, no bodies,
+that continue. Whatsoever moved Saint Jerome to call the journeys of the
+Israelites in the wilderness,[358] mansions; the word (the word is
+_nasang_) signifies but a journey, but a peregrination. Even the Israel
+of God hath no mansions, but journeys, pilgrimages in this life. By what
+measure did Jacob measure his life to Pharaoh? _The days of the years of
+my pilgrimage._[359] And though the apostle would not say _morimur_,
+that whilst we are in the body we are dead, yet he says, _perigrinamur_,
+whilst we are in the body we are but in a pilgrimage, and we are _absent
+from the Lord_:[360] he might have said dead, for this whole world is
+but an universal churchyard, but our common grave, and the life and
+motion that the greatest persons have in it is but as the shaking of
+buried bodies in their grave, by an earthquake. That which we call life
+is but _hebdomada mortium_, a week of death, seven days, seven periods
+of our life spent in dying, a dying seven times over; and there is an
+end. Our birth dies in infancy, and our infancy dies in youth, and youth
+and the rest die in age, and age also dies and determines all. Nor do
+all these, youth out of infancy, or age out of youth, arise so, as the
+phoenix out of the ashes of another phoenix formerly dead, but as a
+wasp or a serpent out of a carrion, or as a snake out of dung. Our youth
+is worse than our infancy, and our age worse than our youth. Our youth
+is hungry and thirsty after those sins which our infancy knew not; and
+our age is sorry and angry, that it cannot pursue those sins which our
+youth did; and besides, all the way, so many deaths, that is, so many
+deadly calamities accompany every condition and every period of this
+life, as that death itself would be an ease to them that suffer them.
+Upon this sense doth Job wish that God had not given him an issue from
+the first death, from the womb, _Wherefore thou hast brought me forth
+out of the womb? Oh that I had given up the ghost, and no eye seen me! I
+should have been as though I had not been._[361] And not only the
+impatient Israelites in their murmuring (_would to God we had died by
+the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt_),[362] but Elijah himself,
+when he fled from Jezebel, and went for his life, as that text says,
+under the juniper tree, requested that he might die, and said, _It is
+enough now, O Lord, take away my life_.[363] So Jonah justifies his
+impatience, nay, his anger, towards God himself: _Now, O Lord, take, I
+beseech thee, my life from me, for it is better to die than to
+live_.[364] And when God asked him, _Dost thou well to be angry for
+this?_ he replies, _I do well to be angry, even unto death_. How much
+worse a death than death is this life, which so good men would so often
+change for death! But if my case be as Saint Paul's case, _quotidie
+morior_, that I die daily, that something heavier than death fall upon
+me every day; if my case be David's case, _tota die mortificamur; all
+the day long we are killed_, that not only every day, but every hour of
+the day, something heavier than death fall upon me; though that be true
+of me, _Conceptus in peccatis, I was shapen in iniquity, and in sin did
+my mother conceive me_ (there I died one death); though that be true of
+me, _Natus filius irae_, I was born not only the child of sin, but the
+child of wrath, of the wrath of God for sin, which is a heavier death:
+yet _Domini Domini sunt exitus mortis, with God the Lord are the issues
+of death_; and after a Job, and a Joseph, and a Jeremiah, and a Daniel,
+I cannot doubt of a deliverance. And if no other deliverance conduce
+more to his glory and my good, yet he hath the keys of death,[365] and
+he can let me out at that door, that is, deliver me from the manifold
+deaths of this world, the _omni die_, and the _tota die_, the every
+day's death and every hour's death, by that one death, the final
+dissolution of body and soul, the end of all. But then is that the end
+of all? Is that dissolution of body and soul the last death that the
+body shall suffer (for of spiritual death we speak not now). It is not,
+though this be _exitus a morte_: it is _introitus in mortem_; though it
+be an issue from manifold deaths of this world, yet it is an entrance
+into the death of corruption and putrefaction, and vermiculation, and
+incineration, and dispersion in and from the grave, in which every dead
+man dies over again. It was a prerogative peculiar to Christ, not to die
+this death, not to see corruption. What gave him this privilege? Not
+Joseph's great proportion of gums and spices, that might have preserved
+his body from corruption and incineration longer than he needed it,
+longer than three days, but it would not have done it for ever. What
+preserved him then? Did his exemption and freedom from original sin
+preserve him from this corruption and incineration? It is true that
+original sin hath induced this corruption and incineration upon us; if
+we had not sinned in Adam, _mortality had not put on immortality_[366]
+(as the apostle speaks), nor _corruption had not put on incorruption_,
+but we had had our transmigration from this to the other world without
+any mortality, any corruption at all. But yet since Christ took sin upon
+him, so far as made him mortal, he had it so far too as might have made
+him see this corruption and incineration, though he had no original sin
+in himself; what preserved him then? Did the hypostatical union of both
+natures, God and man, preserve him from this corruption and
+incineration? It is true that this was a most powerful embalming, to be
+embalmed with the Divine Nature itself, to be embalmed with eternity,
+was able to preserve him from corruption and incineration for ever. And
+he was embalmed so, embalmed with the Divine Nature itself, even in his
+body as well as in his soul; for the Godhead, the Divine Nature, did not
+depart, but remained still united to his dead body in the grave; but yet
+for all this powerful embalming, his hypostatical union of both natures,
+we see Christ did die; and for all his union which made him God and man,
+he became no man (for the union of the body and soul makes the man, and
+he whose soul and body are separated by death as long as that state
+lasts, is properly no man). And therefore as in him the dissolution of
+body and soul was no dissolution of the hypostatical union, so there is
+nothing that constrains us to say, that though the flesh of Christ had
+seen corruption and incineration in the grave, this had not been any
+dissolution of the hypostatical union, for the Divine nature, the
+Godhead, might have remained with all the elements and principles of
+Christ's body, as well as it did with the two constitutive parts of his
+person, his body and his soul. This incorruption then was not in
+Joseph's gums and spices, nor was it in Christ's innocency, and
+exemption from original sin, nor was it (that is, it is not necessary to
+say it was) in the hypostatical union. But this incorruptibleness of his
+flesh is most conveniently placed in that; _Non dabis, thou wilt not
+suffer thy Holy One to see corruption_; we look no further for causes or
+reasons in the mysteries of religion, but to the will and pleasure of
+God; Christ himself limited his inquisition in that _ita est, even so,
+Father, for so it seemeth good in thy sight_. Christ's body did not see
+corruption, therefore, because God had decreed it should not. The humble
+soul (and only the humble soul is the religious soul) rests himself upon
+God's purposes and the decrees of God which he hath declared and
+manifested, not such as are conceived and imagined in ourselves, though
+upon some probability, some verisimilitude; so in our present case
+Peter proceeds in his sermon at Jerusalem, and so Paul in his at
+Antioch.[367] They preached Christ to have been risen without seeing
+corruption, not only because God had decreed it, but because he had
+manifested that decree in his prophet, therefore doth Saint Paul cite by
+special number the second Psalm for that decree, and therefore both
+Saint Peter and Saint Paul cite for it that place in the sixteenth
+Psalm;[368] for when God declares his decree and purpose in the express
+words of his prophet, or when he declares it in the real execution of
+the decree, then he makes it ours, then he manifests it to us. And
+therefore, as the mysteries of our religion are not the objects of our
+reason, but by faith we rest on God's decree and purpose--(it is so, O
+God, because it is thy will it should be so)--so God's decrees are ever
+to be considered in the manifestation thereof. All manifestation is
+either in the word of God, or in the execution of the decree; and when
+these two concur and meet it is the strongest demonstration that can be:
+when therefore I find those marks of adoption and spiritual filiation
+which are delivered in the word of God to be upon me; when I find that
+real execution of his good purpose upon me, as that actually I do live
+under the obedience and under the conditions which are evidences of
+adoption and spiritual filiation; then, so long as I see these marks and
+live so, I may safely comfort myself in a holy certitude and a modest
+infallibility of my adoption. Christ determines himself in that, the
+purpose of God was manifest to him; Saint Peter and Saint Paul determine
+themselves in those two ways of knowing the purpose of God, the word of
+God before the execution of the decree in the fulness of time. It was
+prophesied before, said they, and it is performed now, Christ is risen
+without seeing corruption. Now, this which is so singularly peculiar to
+him, that his flesh should not see corruption, at his second coming, his
+coming to judgment, shall extend to all that are then alive; their hestae
+shall not see corruption, because, as the apostle says, and says as a
+secret, as a mystery, _Behold I shew you a mystery, we shall not all
+sleep_ (that is, not continue in the state of the dead in the grave),
+_but we shall all be changed in an instant_, we shall have a
+dissolution, and in the same instant a redintegration, a recompacting of
+body and soul, and that shall be truly a death and truly a resurrection,
+but no sleeping in corruption; but for us that die now and sleep in the
+state of the dead, we must all pass this posthume death, this death
+after death, nay, this death after burial, this dissolution after
+dissolution, this death of corruption and putrefaction, of vermiculation
+and incineration, of dissolution and dispersion in and from the grave,
+when these bodies that have been the children of royal parents, and the
+parents of royal children, must say with Job, _Corruption, thou art my
+father, and to the worm, Thou art my mother and my sister_. Miserable
+riddle, when the same worm must be my mother, and my sister and myself!
+Miserable incest, when I must be married to my mother and my sister, and
+be both father and mother to my own mother and sister, beget and bear
+that worm which is all that miserable penury; when my mouth shall be
+filled with dust, and the _worm shall feed, and feed sweetly_[369] upon
+me; when the ambitious man shall have no satisfaction, if the poorest
+alive tread upon him, nor the poorest receive any contentment in being
+made equal to princes, for they shall be equal but in dust. _One dieth
+at his full strength, being wholly at ease and in quiet; and another
+dies in the bitterness of his soul, and never eats with pleasure_; but
+_they lie down alike in the dust, and the worm covers them_.[370] In
+Job and in Isaiah,[371] it covers them and is spread under them, _the
+worm is spread under thee, and the worm covers thee_. There are the mats
+and the carpets that lie under, and there are the state and the canopy
+that hang over the greatest of the sons of men. Even those bodies that
+were _the temples of the Holy Ghost_ come to this dilapidation, to ruin,
+to rubbish, to dust; even the Israel of the Lord, and Jacob himself,
+hath no other specification, no other denomination, but that _vermis
+Jacob_, thou worm of Jacob. Truly the consideration of this posthume
+death, this death after burial, that after God (with whom are the issues
+of death) hath delivered me from the death of the womb, by bringing me
+into the world, and from the manifold deaths of the world, by laying me
+in the grave, I must die again in an incineration of this flesh, and in
+a dispersion of that dust. That that monarch, who spread over many
+nations alive, must in his dust lie in a corner of that sheet of lead,
+and there but so long as that lead will last; and that private and
+retired man, that thought himself his own for ever, and never came
+forth, must in his dust of the grave be published, and (such are the
+revolutions of the grave) be mingled with the dust of every highway and
+of every dunghill, and swallowed in every puddle and pond. This is the
+most inglorious and contemptible vilification, the most deadly and
+peremptory nullification of man, that we can consider. God seems to have
+carried the declaration of his power to a great height, when he sets the
+prophet Ezekiel in the valley of dry bones, and says, _Son of man, can
+these bones live?_ as though it had been impossible, and yet they did;
+the Lord laid _sinews upon them, and flesh, and breathed into them, and
+they did live_. But in that case there were bones to be seen, something
+visible, of which it might be said, Can this thing live? But in this
+death of incineration and dispersion of dust, we see nothing that we
+call that man's. If we say, Can this dust live? Perchance it cannot; it
+may be the mere dust of the earth, which never did live, never shall. It
+may be the dust of that man's worm, which did live, but shall no more.
+It may be the dust of another man, that concerns not him of whom it was
+asked. This death of incineration and dispersion is, to natural reason,
+the most irrecoverable death of all; and yet _Domini Domini sunt exitus
+mortis, unto God the Lord belong the issues of death_; and by
+recompacting this dust into the same body, and remaining the same body
+with the same soul, he shall in a blessed and glorious resurrection give
+me such an issue from this death as shall never pass into any other
+death, but establish me into a life that shall last as long as the Lord
+of Life himself.
+
+And so have you that that belongs to the first acceptation of these
+words (_unto God the Lord belong the issues of death_); That though from
+the womb to the grave, and in the grave itself, we pass from death to
+death, yet, as Daniel speaks, _the Lord our God is able to deliver us,
+and he will deliver us_.
+
+And so we pass unto our second accommodation of these words (_unto God
+the Lord belong the issues of death_); that it belongs to God, and not
+to man, to pass a judgment upon us at our death, or to conclude a
+dereliction on God's part upon the manner thereof.
+
+Those indications which the physicians receive, and those presagitions
+which they give for death or recovery in the patient, they receive and
+they give out of the grounds and the rules of their art; but we have no
+such rule or art to give a presagition of spiritual death and damnation
+upon any such indication as we see in any dying man; we see often
+enough to be sorry, but not to despair; we may be deceived both ways: we
+use to comfort ourself in the death of a friend, if it be testified that
+he went away like a lamb, that is, without any reluctation; but God
+knows that may be accompanied with a dangerous damp and stupefaction,
+and insensibility of his present state. Our blessed Saviour suffered
+colluctations with death, and a _sadness even in his soul to death_, and
+an agony even to a bloody sweat in his body, and expostulations with
+God, and exclamations upon the cross. He was a devout man who said upon
+his death-bed, or death-turf (for he was a hermit), _Septuaginta annos
+Domino servivisti, et mori times?_ Hast thou served a good master
+threescore and ten years, and now art thou loth to go into his presence?
+Yet Hilarion was loth. Barlaam was a devout man (a hermit too) that said
+that day he died, _Cogita te hodie caepisse servire Domino, et hodie
+finiturum_, Consider this to be the first day's service that ever thou
+didst thy Master, to glorify him in a Christianly and a constant death,
+and if thy first day be thy last day too, how soon dost thou come to
+receive thy wages! Yet Barlaam could have been content to have stayed
+longer forth. Make no ill conclusions upon any man's lothness to die,
+for the mercies of God work momentarily in minutes, and many times
+insensibly to bystanders, or any other than the party departing. And
+then upon violent deaths inflicted as upon malefactors, Christ himself
+hath forbidden us by his own death to make any ill conclusion; for his
+own death had those impressions in it; he was reputed, he was executed
+as a malefactor, and no doubt many of them who concurred to his death
+did believe him to be so. Of sudden death there are scarce examples be
+found in the Scriptures upon good men, for death in battle cannot be
+called sudden death; but God governs not by examples but by rules, and
+therefore make no ill conclusion upon sudden death nor upon distempers
+neither, though perchance accompanied with some words of diffidence and
+distrust in the mercies of God. The tree lies as it falls, it is true,
+but it is not the last stroke that fells the tree, nor the last word nor
+gasp that qualifies the soul. Still pray we for a peaceable life against
+violent death, and for time of repentance against sudden death, and for
+sober and modest assurance against distempered and diffident death, but
+never make ill conclusions upon persons overtaken with such deaths;
+_Domini Domini sunt exitus mortis, to God the Lord belong the issues of
+death_. And he received Samson, who went out of this world in such a
+manner (consider it actively, consider it passively in his own death,
+and in those whom he slew with himself) as was subject to interpretation
+hard enough. Yet the Holy Ghost hath moved Saint Paul to celebrate
+Samson in his great catalogue,[372] and so doth all the church. Our
+critical day is not the very day of our death, but the whole course of
+our life. I thank him that prays for me when the bell tolls, but I thank
+him much more that catechises me, or preaches to me, or instructs me how
+to live. _Fac hoc et vive_, there is my security, the mouth of the Lord
+hath said it, _do this and thou shalt live_. But though I do it, yet I
+shall die too, die a bodily, a natural death. But God never mentions,
+never seems to consider that death, the bodily, the natural death. God
+doth not say, Live well, and thou shalt die well, that is, an easy, a
+quiet death; but, Live well here, and thou shalt live well for ever. As
+the first part of a sentence pieces well with the last, and never
+respects, never hearkens after the parenthesis that comes between, so
+doth a good life here flow into an eternal life, without any
+consideration what manner of death we die. But whether the gate of my
+prison be opened with an oiled key (by a gentle and preparing sickness),
+or the gate be hewn down by a violent death, or the gate be burnt down
+by a raging and frantic fever, a gate into heaven I shall have, for from
+the Lord is the cause of my life, and _with God the Lord are the issues
+of death_. And further we carry not this second acceptation of the
+words, as this _issue of death_ is _liberatio in morte_, God's care that
+the soul be safe, what agonies soever the body suffers in the hour of
+death.
+
+But pass to our third part and last part: As this issue of death is
+_liberatio per mortem_, a deliverance by the death of another.
+_Sufferentiam Job audiisti, et vidisti finem Domini_, says Saint James
+(v. 11), _You have heard of the patience of Job_, says he: all this
+while you have done that, for in every man, calamitous, miserable man, a
+Job speaks. Now, _see the end of the Lord_, sayeth that apostle, which
+is not that end that the Lord proposed to himself (salvation to us), nor
+the end which he proposes to us (conformity to him), but _see the end of
+the Lord_, says he, the end that the Lord himself came to, death, and a
+painful and a shameful death. But why did he die? and why die so? _Quia
+Domini Domini sunt exitus mortis_ (as Saint Augustine, interpreting this
+text, answers that question),[373] because to this _God our Lord
+belonged the issues of death. Quid apertius diceretur?_ says he there,
+what can be more obvious, more manifest than this sense of these words?
+In the former part of this verse it is said, He that is _our God is the
+God of salvation; Deus salvos faciendi_, so he reads it, the God that
+must save us. Who can that be, says he, but Jesus? For therefore that
+name was given him because he was to save us. And to this Jesus, says
+he, this Saviour,[374] _belong the issues of death_; _Nec oportuit eum
+de hac vita alios exitus habere quam mortis_: being come into this life
+in our mortal nature, he could not go out of this life any other way but
+by death. _Ideo dictum_, says he, therefore it is said, _to God the Lord
+belonged the issues of death; ut ostenderetur moriendo nos salvos
+facturum_, to show that his way to save us was to die. And from this
+text doth Saint Isidore prove that Christ was truly man (which as many
+sects of heretics denied, as that he was truly God), because to him,
+though he were _Dominus Dominus_ (as the text doubles it), God the Lord,
+yet to _him, to God the Lord belonged the issues of death_; _oportuit
+eum pati_; more cannot be said than Christ himself says of himself;
+_These things Christ ought to suffer_;[375] he had no other way but
+death: so then this part of our sermon must needs be a passion sermon,
+since all his life was a continual passion, all our Lent may well be a
+continual Good Friday. Christ's painful life took off none of the pains
+of his death, he felt not the less then for having felt so much before.
+Nor will any thing that shall be said before lessen, but rather enlarge
+the devotion, to that which shall be said of his passion at the time of
+due solemnization thereof. Christ bled not a drop the less at the last
+for having bled at his circumcision before, nor will you a tear the less
+then if you shed some now. And therefore be now content to consider with
+me how _to this God the Lord belonged the issues of death_. That God,
+this Lord, the Lord of life, could die, is a strange contemplation; that
+the Red Sea could be dry, that the sun could stand still, that an oven
+could be seven times heat and not burn, that lions could be hungry and
+not bite, is strange, miraculously strange, but super-miraculous that
+God _could_ die; but that God _would_ die is an exaltation of that. But
+even of that also it is a super-exaltation, that God should die, must
+die, and _non exitus_ (said Saint Augustine), God the Lord had no issue
+but by death, and _oportuit pati_ (says Christ himself), all this Christ
+ought to suffer, was bound to suffer; _Deus ultimo Deus_, says David,
+God is the God of revenges, he would not pass over the son of man
+unrevenged, unpunished. But then _Deus ultionum libere egit_ (says that
+place), the God of revenges works freely, he punishes, he spares whom he
+will. And would he not spare himself? he would not: _Dilectio fortis ut
+mors, love is strong as death_;[376] stronger, it drew in death, that
+naturally is not welcome. _Si possibile_ says Christ, _if it be
+possible, let this cup pass_, when his love, expressed in a former
+decree with his Father, had made it impossible. _Many waters quench not
+love._[377] Christ tried many: he was baptised out of his love, and his
+love determined not there; he mingled blood with water in his agony, and
+that determined not his love; he wept pure blood, all his blood at all
+his eyes, at all his pores, in his flagellation and thorns (_to the Lord
+our God belonged the issues of blood_), and these expressed, but these
+did not quench his love. He would not spare, nay, he could not spare
+himself. There was nothing more free, more voluntary, more spontaneous
+than the death of Christ. It is true, _libere egit_, he died
+voluntarily; but yet when we consider the contract that had passed
+between his Father and him, there was an _oportuit_, a kind of necessity
+upon him: all this _Christ ought to suffer_. And when shall we date this
+obligation, this _oportuit_, this necessity? When shall we say that
+began? Certainly this decree by which Christ was to suffer all this was
+an eternal decree, and was there any thing before that that was eternal?
+Infinite love, eternal love; be pleased to follow this home, and to
+consider it seriously, that what liberty soever we can conceive in
+Christ to die or not to die; this necessity of dying, this decree is as
+eternal as that liberty; and yet how small a matter made he of this
+necessity and this dying? His Father calls it but a bruise, and but a
+bruising of his heel[378] (the serpent shall bruise his heel), and yet
+that was, that the serpent should practise and compass his death.
+Himself calls it but a baptism, as though he were to be the better for
+it. I _have a baptism to be baptised with_,[379] and he was in pain till
+it was accomplished, and yet this baptism was his death. The Holy Ghost
+calls it joy (_for the joy which was set before him he endured the
+cross_),[380] which was not a joy of his reward after his passion, but a
+joy that filled him even in the midst of his torments, and arose from
+him; when Christ calls his _calicem_ a cup, and no worse (_Can ye drink
+of my cup_)[381], he speaks not odiously, not with detestation of it.
+Indeed it was a cup, _salus mundo_, a health to all the world. And _quid
+retribuam_, says David, _What shall I render to the Lord?_[382] Answer
+you with David, _Accipiam calicem, I will take the cup of salvation_;
+take it, that cup is salvation, his passion, if not into your present
+imitation, yet into your present contemplation. And behold how that Lord
+that was God, yet could die, would die, must die for our salvation. That
+Moses and Elias talked with Christ in the transfiguration, both Saint
+Matthew and Saint Mark[383] tells us, but what they talked of, only
+Saint Luke; _Dicebant excessum ejus_, says he, _They talked of his
+disease, of his death, which was to be accomplished at Jerusalem_.[384]
+The word is of his _exodus_, the very word of our text, _exitus_, his
+_issue by death_. Moses, who in his exodus had prefigured this issue of
+our Lord, and in passing Israel out of Egypt through the Red Sea, had
+foretold in that actual prophecy, Christ passing of mankind through the
+sea of his blood; and Elias, whose exodus and issue of this world was a
+figure of Christ's ascension; had no doubt a great satisfaction in
+talking with our blessed Lord, _de excessu ejus_, of the full
+consummation of all this in his death, which was to be accomplished at
+Jerusalem. Our meditation of his death should be more visceral, and
+affect us more, because it is of a thing already done. The ancient
+Romans had a certain tenderness and detestation of the name of death;
+they could not name death, no, not in their wills; there they could not
+say, _Si mori contigerit_, but _si quid humanitas contingat_, not if or
+when I die, but when the course of nature is accomplished upon me. To us
+that speak daily of the death of Christ (he was crucified, dead, and
+buried), can the memory or the mention of our own death be irksome or
+bitter? There are in these latter times amongst us that name death
+freely enough, and the death of God, but in blasphemous oaths and
+execrations. Miserable men, who shall therefore be said never to have
+named Jesus, because they have named him too often; and therefore hear
+Jesus say, _Nescivi vos, I never knew you_, because they made themselves
+too familiar with him. Moses and Elias talked with Christ of his death
+only in a holy and joyful sense, of the benefit which they and all the
+world were to receive by that. Discourses of religion should not be out
+of curiosity, but to edification. And then they talked with Christ of
+his death at that time when he was in the greatest height of glory, that
+ever he admitted in this world, that is, his transfiguration. And we are
+afraid to speak to the great men of this world of their death, but
+nourish in them a vain imagination of immortality and immutability. But
+_bonum est nobis esse hic_ (as Saint Peter said there), _It is good to
+dwell here_, in this consideration of his death, and therefore transfer
+we our tabernacle (our devotions) through some of those steps which God
+the Lord made to his _issue of death_ that day. Take in the whole day
+from the hour that Christ received the passover upon Thursday unto the
+hour in which he died the next day. Make this present day that day in
+thy devotion, and consider what he did, and remember what you have done.
+Before he instituted and celebrated the sacrament (which was after the
+eating of the passover), he proceeded to that act of humility, to wash
+his disciples' feet, even Peter's, who for a while resisted him. In thy
+preparation to the holy and blessed sacrament, hast thou with a sincere
+humility sought a reconciliation with all the world, even with those
+that have been averse from it, and refused that reconciliation from
+thee? If so, and not else, thou hast spent that first part of his last
+day in a conformity with him. After the sacrament he spent the time till
+night in prayer, in preaching, in psalms: hast thou considered that a
+worthy receiving of the sacrament consists in a continuation of holiness
+after, as well as in a preparation before? If so, thou hast therein also
+conformed thyself to him; so Christ spent his time till night. At night
+he went into the garden to pray, and he prayed prolixious, he spent much
+time in prayer, how much? Because it is literally expressed, that he
+prayed there three several times,[385] and that returning to his
+disciples after his first prayer, and finding them asleep, said, _Could
+ye not watch with me one hour_,[386] it is collected that he spent three
+hours in prayer. I dare scarce ask thee whither thou wentest, or how
+thou disposedst of thyself, when it grew dark and after last night. If
+that time were spent in a holy recommendation of thyself to God, and a
+submission of thy will to his, it was spent in a conformity to him. In
+that time, and in those prayers, was his agony and bloody sweat. I will
+hope that thou didst pray; but not every ordinary and customary prayer,
+but prayer actually accompanied with shedding of tears and dispositively
+in a readiness to shed blood for his glory in necessary cases, puts thee
+into a conformity with him. About midnight he was taken and bound with a
+kiss, art thou not too conformable to him in that? Is not that too
+literally, too exactly thy case, at midnight to have been taken and
+bound with a kiss? From thence he was carried back to Jerusalem, first
+to Annas, then to Caiaphas, and (as late as it was) then he was examined
+and buffeted, and delivered over to the custody of those officers from
+whom he received all those irrisions, and violences, the covering of his
+face, the spitting upon his face, the blasphemies of words, and the
+smartness of blows, which that gospel mentions: in which compass fell
+that gallicinium, that crowing of the cock which called up Peter to his
+repentance. How thou passedst all that time thou knowest. If thou didst
+any thing that needest Peter's tears, and hast not shed them, let me be
+thy cock, do it now. Now, thy Master (in the unworthiest of his
+servants) looks back upon thee, do it now. Betimes, in the morning, so
+soon as it was day, the Jews held a council in the high priest's hall,
+and agreed upon their evidence against him, and then carried him to
+Pilate, who was to be his judge; didst thou accuse thyself when thou
+wakedst this morning, and wast thou content even with false accusations,
+that is, rather to suspect actions to have been sin, which were not,
+than to smother and justify such as were truly sins? Then thou spentest
+that hour in conformity to him; Pilate found no evidence against him,
+and therefore to ease himself, and to pass a compliment upon Herod,
+tetrarch of Galilee, who was at that time at Jerusalem (because Christ,
+being a Galilean, was of Herod's jurisdiction), Pilate sent him to
+Herod, and rather as a madman than a malefactor; Herod remanded him
+(with scorn) to Pilate, to proceed against him; and this was about eight
+of the clock. Hast thou been content to come to this inquisition, this
+examination, this agitation, this cribration, this pursuit of thy
+conscience; to sift it, to follow it from the sins of thy youth to thy
+present sins, from the sins of thy bed to the sins of thy board, and
+from the substance to the circumstance of thy sins? That is time spent
+like thy Saviour's. Pilate would have saved Christ, by using the
+privilege of the day in his behalf, because that day one prisoner was to
+be delivered, but they choose Barabbas; he would have saved him from
+death, by satisfying their fury with inflicting other torments upon him,
+scourging and crowning with thorns, and loading him with many scornful
+and ignominious contumelies; but they regarded him not, they pressed a
+crucifying. Hast thou gone about to redeem thy sin, by fasting, by alms,
+by disciplines and mortifications, in way of satisfaction to the justice
+of God? That will not serve, that is not the right way; we press an
+utter crucifying of that sin that governs thee: and that conforms thee
+to Christ. Towards noon Pilate gave judgment, and they made such haste
+to execution as that by noon he was upon the cross. There now hangs that
+sacred body upon the cross, rebaptized in his own tears, and sweat, and
+embalmed in his own blood alive. There are those bowels of compassion
+which are so conspicuous, so manifested, as that you may see them
+through his wounds. There those glorious eyes grew faint in their sight,
+so as the sun, ashamed to survive them, departed with his light too.
+And then that Son of God, who was never from us, and yet had now come a
+new way unto us in assuming our nature, delivers that soul (which was
+never out of his Father's hands) by a _new way_, a voluntary emission of
+it into his Father's hands; for though _to this God our Lord belonged
+these issues of death_, so that considered in his own contract, he must
+necessarily die, yet at no breach or battery which they had made upon
+his sacred body issued his soul; but _emisit_, he gave up the ghost; and
+as God breathed a soul into the first Adam, so this second Adam breathed
+his soul into God, into the hands of God.
+
+There we leave you in that blessed dependency, to hang upon him that
+hangs upon the cross, there bathe in his tears, there suck at his
+wounds, and lie down in peace in his grave, till he vouchsafe you a
+resurrection, and an ascension into that kingdom which He hath prepared
+for you with the inestimable price of his incorruptible blood. Amen.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[347] Psalm cxv. 6.
+
+[348] Psalm cxxxix. 6.
+
+[349] Psalm cxviii. 23.
+
+[350] Psalm c. 3.
+
+[351] Isaiah, xxxvii. 3.
+
+[352] Rom. vii. 24.
+
+[353] Gen. vi. 14.
+
+[354] Gen. iv. 1.
+
+[355] John, xiv. 2.
+
+[356] Matt. viii. 20.
+
+[357] Heb. xiii. 14.
+
+[358] Exod. xvii. 1.
+
+[359] Gen. xlvii. 9.
+
+[360] 2 Cor. v. 6.
+
+[361] Job, x. 18, 19.
+
+[362] Exod. xvi. 3.
+
+[363] 1 Kings, xix. 4.
+
+[364] Jonah, iv. 3.
+
+[365] Rev. i. 18.
+
+[366] 1 Cor. xv. 33.
+
+[367] Acts, ii. 31; xiii. 35.
+
+[368] Ver. 10.
+
+[369] Job, xxiv. 20.
+
+[370] Job, xxi. 23, 25, 26.
+
+[371] Isaiah, xiv. 11.
+
+[372] Heb. xi.
+
+[373] De Civitate Dei, lib. xvii.
+
+[374] Matt. i. 21.
+
+[375] Luke, xxiv. 26.
+
+[376] Cant. viii. 6.
+
+[377] _Ibid._ 7.
+
+[378] Gen. iii. 15.
+
+[379] Luke, xii. 50.
+
+[380] Heb. xii. 2.
+
+[381] Matt. xx. 22.
+
+[382] Psalm cxvi. 12.
+
+[383] Matt. xvii. 3; Mark, ix. 4.
+
+[384] Luke, ix. 31.
+
+[385] Luke, xxii. 41.
+
+[386] Matt. xxvi. 40.
+
+
+
+
+Transcribers Notes:
+
+I corrected an error in Footnote 1. The original book said
+Matt. xiii. 16, which I corrected to verse 15.
+
+I corrected an error in Footnote 65. The original book said
+Jer., which I corrected to Lam.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's Devotions Upon Emergent Occasions, by John Donne
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