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diff --git a/23749.txt b/23749.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ca923dd --- /dev/null +++ b/23749.txt @@ -0,0 +1,996 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Mythological Zoo, by Oliver Herford + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Mythological Zoo + +Author: Oliver Herford + +Release Date: December 6, 2007 [EBook #23749] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MYTHOLOGICAL ZOO *** + + + + +Produced by Geetu Melwani and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + + + + + + + + +The Mythological Zoo + +By + +Oliver Herford + +[Illustration] + +New York - Charles Scribner's Sons +1912 + + +Copyright, 1912, by Oliver Herford + +Published September, 1912 + + + + +To + +Elwyn Barron + +With Affectionate Regard + + + + +Contents + + Page + +Medusa 2 +The Siren 4 +The Dolphin 6 +The Cockatrice 8 +Cerberus 10 +The Sphinx 12 +The Sea Serpent 14 +The Salamander 16 +The Jinn 18 +The Mermaid 20 +The Unicorn 22 +The Satyr 24 +The Gargoyle 26 +The Chimera 28 +The Ph[oe]nix 30 +The Gryphon 32 +The Harpy 34 +The Centaur 36 +Pegasus 38 +The Hydra 40 +The Hyppogriff 42 +The Minotaur 44 + + + + +The Mythological Zoo + + + + +Medusa + + +How did Medusa do her hair? +The question fills me with despair. +It must have caused her sore distress +That head of curling snakes to dress. +Whenever after endless toil +She coaxed it finally to coil, +The music of a Passing Band +Would cause each separate hair to stand +On end and sway and writhe and spit,-- +She couldn't "do a thing with it." +And, being woman and aware +Of such disaster to her hair, +What _could_ she do but petrify +All whom she met, with freezing eye? + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Siren + + +The Siren may be said to be +The Chorus-Lady of the Sea; +Tho' Mermaids claim her as their kin, +Instead of fishy tail and fin +Two shapely feet rejoice the view +(With all that appertains thereto). +When to these other charms we add +A voice that drives the hearer mad, +Who will dispute her claim to be +The Chorus-Lady of the Sea? + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Dolphin + + +The Dolphin was, if you should wish +To call him so,--the King of Fish. +Though having neither gills nor scales, +His title _should be_ Prince of Whales. +While too small waisted to provide +A Jonah with a Berth Inside, +The Dolphin has been known to pack +A Drowning Sailor on his back +And bear him safely into port,-- +He was a Taxi-whale, in short. + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Cockatrice + + +If you will listen to advice +You will avoid the Cockatrice-- +A caution I need hardly say +Wholly superfluous to-day. +Yet had you lived when they were rife +Such warning might have saved your life. +To meet the Cockatrice's eye +Means certain death--and that is why +When I its features here portray +I make it look the other way. +O Cockatrice! were you so mean +What must the _Hen_atrice have been! + +[Illustration] + + + + +Cerberus + + +Dear Reader, should you chance to go +To Hades, do not fail to throw +A "Sop to Cerberus" at the gate, +His anger to propitiate. +Don't say "Good dog!" and hope thereby +His three fierce Heads to pacify. +What though he try to be polite +And wag his Tail with all his might, +How shall one amiable Tail +Against three angry Heads prevail? +The Heads _must_ win.--What puzzles me +Is why in Hades there should be +A Watch dog; 'tis, I should surmise, +The _last_ place one would burglarize. + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Sphinx + + +She was half Lady and half cat-- +What is so wonderful in that? +Half of our lady friends (so say +The other half) are _Cats_ to-day. +In Egypt she made quite a stir, +They carved huge Images of her. +Riddles she asked of all she met +And all who answered wrong, she ate. +When Oedipus her riddle solved +The minx--I mean the Sphinx--dissolved +In tears. What is there, when one thinks, +So wonderful about the Sphinx? + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Sea Serpent + + +O wondrous worm that won the Height +Of Fame by keeping out of sight! +Never was known on Land or Sea +Such a Colossal Modesty; +Never such arrogant pretence +Of Ostentatious Diffidence. +Celebrity whom none has seen, +Save some Post Prandial Marine, +No magazine can reproduce +Your Photograph.--Oh, what's the use +Of doing things when one may be +So Famous a Nonentity! + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Salamander + + +The Salamander made his bed +Among the glowing embers red. +A Fiery Furnace, to his mind, +Hygiene and Luxury combined. +He was, if I may put it so, +A Saurian Abednigo. +He loved to climb with nimble ease +The branches of the Gas-log Trees +Where oft on chilly winter nights +He rose to dizzy Fahrenheits. +Believers in Soul Transmigration +See in him the Re-incarnation +Of those Sad Plagues of summer, who +Ask, "Is it hot enough for you?" + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Jinn + + +To call a Jinn the only thing +One needed was a magic ring. +You rubbed the ring and forth there came +A monster born of smoke and flame, +A thing of Vapor, Fume and Glare +Ready to waft you anywhere. +The magic Jinns of yesterday +The wand of Science now obey. +You ring, and lo! with rush and roar +The panting monster's at the door, +A thing of Vapor, Fume and Glare +Ready to take you anywhere. +What's in a name? What choice between +The Giants, Jinn and Gasolene? + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Mermaid + + +Although a Fishwife in a sense, +She does not barter Fish for Pence. +Fisher of Men, her Golden Nets +For foolish Sailormen she sets. +All day she combs her hair and longs +For Dimpled Feet and Curling-tongs. +All night she dreams in ocean caves +Of Low tide Shoes and Marcel Waves. +And while the Fishwife, making sales, +May sell her wares upon her scales, +The Mermaid, wonderful to tell, +Must wear her scales upon hersel'. + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Unicorn + + +The Unicorn 's a first-rate sort. +He helps the Lion to support +The royal arms of England's King +And keep the Throne from tottering. +I wonder what the King would do +If his supporters all withdrew? +Perhaps he'd try the Stage; a Throne +Should be an easy stepping-stone +To histrionic Heights, and who +Knows till he tries what he can do? +The King, with diligence and care, +_Might_ rise to be a Manager. + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Satyr + + +The Satyr lived in times remote, +A shape half-human and half-goat, +Who, having all Man's faults combined +With a Goat's nature unrefined, +Was not what you would call a bright +Example or a shining light. +Far be it from me to condone +The Satyr's sins, yet I must own +I like to think there were a few +Young Satyrs who to Heaven flew, +And when Saint Peter, thunder browed, +Seeing them, cried, "No goats allowed!" +Although the gate slammed quickly to, +Somehow their human halves got through; +Whereat the kindly saint relented, +And that's how Cherubs were invented. + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Gargoyle + + +The Gargoyle often makes its perch +On a cathedral or a church, +Where, mid ecclesiastic style, +It smiles an early-Gothic smile. +And while the parson, dignified, +Spouts at his weary flock inside, +The Gargoyle, from its lofty seat, +Spouts at the people in the street, +And, like the parson, seems to say +To those beneath him, "Let us spray." +I like the Gargoyle best; it plays +So cheerfully on rainy days, +While parsons (no one can deny) +Are awful dampers--when they're dry. + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Chimera + + +You'd think a lion or a snake +Were quite enough one's nerves to shake; +But in this classic beast we find +A lion and a snake combined, +And, just as if that weren't enough, +A goat thrown in to make it tough. +Let scientists the breed pooh! pooh! +Come with me to some Social Zoo +And hear the bearded Lion bleat +Goat-like on patent-kidded feet, +Whose "Civil leer and damning praise" +The serpent's cloven tongue betrays. +Lo! lion, goat, and snake combined! +Thus Nature doth repeat her kind. + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Ph[oe]nix + + +The Ph[oe]nix was, as you might say, +The burning question of his day: +The more he burned, the more he grew +Splendiferous in feathers new. +And from his ashes rising bland, +Did business at the same old stand. +But though good people went about +And talked, they could not put him out. +A wond'rous bird--indeed, they say +He is not quite extinct to-day. + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Gryphon + + +It chanced that Allah, looking round, +When he had made his creatures, found +Half of an Eagle and a pair +Of extra Lion legs to spare. +So, hating waste, he took some glue +And made a Gryphon of the two. +But when his handiwork he eyed, +He frowned--and it was petrified, +Doomed for all time to represent +Impatience on a monument. +Sometimes upon our path to-day +Its living counterpart will stray-- +Columbia's Eagle strutting in +An awf'ly English Lion's skin, +With glass in eye and swagg'ring gait: +Behold the Gryphon up to date. + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Harpy + + +They certainly contrived to raise +Queer ladies in the olden days. +Either the type had not been fixed, +Or else Zoology got mixed. +I envy not primeval man +This female on the feathered plan. +We only have, I'm glad to say, +Two kinds of human bird to-day-- +Women and warriors, who still +Wear feathers when dressed up to kill. + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Centaur + + +The Centaur led a double life: +Two natures in perpetual strife +He had, that never could agree +On what the bill-of-fare should be; +For when the man-half set his heart +On taking dinner _a la carte_, +The horse was sure to cast his vote +Unswervingly for _table d'OAT_. +A pretty sort of life to lead; +The horse in time went off his feed, +The hungry man was nigh demented, +When one day--OATMEAL was invented! + +[Illustration] + + + + +Pegasus + + +The ancients made no end of fuss +About a horse named Pegasus, +A famous flyer of his time, +Who often soared to heights sublime, +When backed by some poetic chap +For the Parnassus Handicap. +Alas for fame! The other day +I saw an ancient "one-hoss shay" +Stop at the Mont de Piete, +And, lo! alighting from the same, +A bard, whom I forbear to name. +Noting the poor beast's rusty hide +(The horse, I mean), methought I spied +What once were wings. Incredulous, +I cried, "Can _this_ be Pegasus!" + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Hydra + + +The Hydra Hercules defied, +Its nine diminished heads must hide +Before the baneful modern beast +Who has a thousand heads at least. +See how in horrid tiers they rise, +With straining ears and bulging eyes, +While, blinded by fierce calcium rays, +The trembling victim tribute pays +Of song or measure, mime or jest, +To soothe the savage Hydra's breast. +If she please not the monster's whim, +Wild scribes will tear her limb from limb; +Even if charmed, he rend the air +With hideous joy, let her beware; +For she must surely, soon or late, +Fall 'neath the hissing Hydra's hate. + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Hyppogriff + + +Biologists are prone to sniff +At hybrids like the Hyppogriff. +In evolution's plan, they say, +There is no place for such as they. +A horse with wings could not have more +Than two legs, and this beast had four. +Well, I for one am glad to waive +Two of his legs, his wings to save. +I'd even sell my auto--if +I had one--for a Hyppogriff. + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Minotaur + + +No book of monsters is complete +Without the Minotaur of Crete. +Yet should I draw him you would quail, +So in his place I draw a veil. +O stars, that from Creation's birth +Have winked at everything on earth, +Who shine where poets fear to tread, + Relate the story in my stead! + + * * * * * + +Although it's comforting to know +That Theseus slew him long ago, +_We_ need not boast, we too could do +With--well, a Theseus or two. + +[Illustration] + + +The End. + + + + + * * * * * + + + BOOKS BY OLIVER HERFORD + +_WITH PICTURES BY THE AUTHOR_ + +PUBLISHED BY CHARLES SCRIBNER'S SONS + + +THE BASHFUL EARTHQUAKE $1.25 + +A CHILD'S PRIMER OF NATURAL HISTORY $1.25 + +OVERHEARD IN A GARDEN $1.25 + +MORE ANIMALS _net_, $1.00 + +THE RUBAIYAT OF A PERSIAN KITTEN _net_, $1.00 + +THE FAIRY GODMOTHER-IN-LAW _net_, $1.00 + +A LITTLE BOOK OF BORES _net_, $1.00 + +THE PETER PAN ALPHABE _net_, $1.00 + +THE ASTONISHING TALE OF A PEN-AND-INK PUPPET _net_, $1.00 + +A KITTEN'S GARDEN OF VERSES _net_, $1.00 + +THE MYTHOLOGICAL ZOO _net_, .75 + + +_WITH JOHN CECIL CLAY_ + +CUPID'S CYCLOPEDIA _net_, $1.00 + +CUPID'S FAIR-WEATHER BOOKE _net_, $1.00 + + + * * * * * + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Mythological Zoo, by Oliver Herford + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MYTHOLOGICAL ZOO *** + +***** This file should be named 23749.txt or 23749.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/3/7/4/23749/ + +Produced by Geetu Melwani and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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