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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/23749-8.txt b/23749-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c589931 --- /dev/null +++ b/23749-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,996 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Mythological Zoo, by Oliver Herford + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Mythological Zoo + +Author: Oliver Herford + +Release Date: December 6, 2007 [EBook #23749] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MYTHOLOGICAL ZOO *** + + + + +Produced by Geetu Melwani and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + + + + + + + + +The Mythological Zoo + +By + +Oliver Herford + +[Illustration] + +New York - Charles Scribner's Sons +1912 + + +Copyright, 1912, by Oliver Herford + +Published September, 1912 + + + + +To + +Elwyn Barron + +With Affectionate Regard + + + + +Contents + + Page + +Medusa 2 +The Siren 4 +The Dolphin 6 +The Cockatrice 8 +Cerberus 10 +The Sphinx 12 +The Sea Serpent 14 +The Salamander 16 +The Jinn 18 +The Mermaid 20 +The Unicorn 22 +The Satyr 24 +The Gargoyle 26 +The Chimera 28 +The Ph[oe]nix 30 +The Gryphon 32 +The Harpy 34 +The Centaur 36 +Pegasus 38 +The Hydra 40 +The Hyppogriff 42 +The Minotaur 44 + + + + +The Mythological Zoo + + + + +Medusa + + +How did Medusa do her hair? +The question fills me with despair. +It must have caused her sore distress +That head of curling snakes to dress. +Whenever after endless toil +She coaxed it finally to coil, +The music of a Passing Band +Would cause each separate hair to stand +On end and sway and writhe and spit,-- +She couldn't "do a thing with it." +And, being woman and aware +Of such disaster to her hair, +What _could_ she do but petrify +All whom she met, with freezing eye? + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Siren + + +The Siren may be said to be +The Chorus-Lady of the Sea; +Tho' Mermaids claim her as their kin, +Instead of fishy tail and fin +Two shapely feet rejoice the view +(With all that appertains thereto). +When to these other charms we add +A voice that drives the hearer mad, +Who will dispute her claim to be +The Chorus-Lady of the Sea? + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Dolphin + + +The Dolphin was, if you should wish +To call him so,--the King of Fish. +Though having neither gills nor scales, +His title _should be_ Prince of Whales. +While too small waisted to provide +A Jonah with a Berth Inside, +The Dolphin has been known to pack +A Drowning Sailor on his back +And bear him safely into port,-- +He was a Taxi-whale, in short. + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Cockatrice + + +If you will listen to advice +You will avoid the Cockatrice-- +A caution I need hardly say +Wholly superfluous to-day. +Yet had you lived when they were rife +Such warning might have saved your life. +To meet the Cockatrice's eye +Means certain death--and that is why +When I its features here portray +I make it look the other way. +O Cockatrice! were you so mean +What must the _Hen_atrice have been! + +[Illustration] + + + + +Cerberus + + +Dear Reader, should you chance to go +To Hades, do not fail to throw +A "Sop to Cerberus" at the gate, +His anger to propitiate. +Don't say "Good dog!" and hope thereby +His three fierce Heads to pacify. +What though he try to be polite +And wag his Tail with all his might, +How shall one amiable Tail +Against three angry Heads prevail? +The Heads _must_ win.--What puzzles me +Is why in Hades there should be +A Watch dog; 'tis, I should surmise, +The _last_ place one would burglarize. + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Sphinx + + +She was half Lady and half cat-- +What is so wonderful in that? +Half of our lady friends (so say +The other half) are _Cats_ to-day. +In Egypt she made quite a stir, +They carved huge Images of her. +Riddles she asked of all she met +And all who answered wrong, she ate. +When Oedipus her riddle solved +The minx--I mean the Sphinx--dissolved +In tears. What is there, when one thinks, +So wonderful about the Sphinx? + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Sea Serpent + + +O wondrous worm that won the Height +Of Fame by keeping out of sight! +Never was known on Land or Sea +Such a Colossal Modesty; +Never such arrogant pretence +Of Ostentatious Diffidence. +Celebrity whom none has seen, +Save some Post Prandial Marine, +No magazine can reproduce +Your Photograph.--Oh, what's the use +Of doing things when one may be +So Famous a Nonentity! + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Salamander + + +The Salamander made his bed +Among the glowing embers red. +A Fiery Furnace, to his mind, +Hygiene and Luxury combined. +He was, if I may put it so, +A Saurian Abednigo. +He loved to climb with nimble ease +The branches of the Gas-log Trees +Where oft on chilly winter nights +He rose to dizzy Fahrenheits. +Believers in Soul Transmigration +See in him the Re-incarnation +Of those Sad Plagues of summer, who +Ask, "Is it hot enough for you?" + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Jinn + + +To call a Jinn the only thing +One needed was a magic ring. +You rubbed the ring and forth there came +A monster born of smoke and flame, +A thing of Vapor, Fume and Glare +Ready to waft you anywhere. +The magic Jinns of yesterday +The wand of Science now obey. +You ring, and lo! with rush and roar +The panting monster's at the door, +A thing of Vapor, Fume and Glare +Ready to take you anywhere. +What's in a name? What choice between +The Giants, Jinn and Gasolene? + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Mermaid + + +Although a Fishwife in a sense, +She does not barter Fish for Pence. +Fisher of Men, her Golden Nets +For foolish Sailormen she sets. +All day she combs her hair and longs +For Dimpled Feet and Curling-tongs. +All night she dreams in ocean caves +Of Low tide Shoes and Marcel Waves. +And while the Fishwife, making sales, +May sell her wares upon her scales, +The Mermaid, wonderful to tell, +Must wear her scales upon hersel'. + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Unicorn + + +The Unicorn 's a first-rate sort. +He helps the Lion to support +The royal arms of England's King +And keep the Throne from tottering. +I wonder what the King would do +If his supporters all withdrew? +Perhaps he'd try the Stage; a Throne +Should be an easy stepping-stone +To histrionic Heights, and who +Knows till he tries what he can do? +The King, with diligence and care, +_Might_ rise to be a Manager. + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Satyr + + +The Satyr lived in times remote, +A shape half-human and half-goat, +Who, having all Man's faults combined +With a Goat's nature unrefined, +Was not what you would call a bright +Example or a shining light. +Far be it from me to condone +The Satyr's sins, yet I must own +I like to think there were a few +Young Satyrs who to Heaven flew, +And when Saint Peter, thunder browed, +Seeing them, cried, "No goats allowed!" +Although the gate slammed quickly to, +Somehow their human halves got through; +Whereat the kindly saint relented, +And that's how Cherubs were invented. + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Gargoyle + + +The Gargoyle often makes its perch +On a cathedral or a church, +Where, mid ecclesiastic style, +It smiles an early-Gothic smile. +And while the parson, dignified, +Spouts at his weary flock inside, +The Gargoyle, from its lofty seat, +Spouts at the people in the street, +And, like the parson, seems to say +To those beneath him, "Let us spray." +I like the Gargoyle best; it plays +So cheerfully on rainy days, +While parsons (no one can deny) +Are awful dampers--when they're dry. + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Chimera + + +You'd think a lion or a snake +Were quite enough one's nerves to shake; +But in this classic beast we find +A lion and a snake combined, +And, just as if that weren't enough, +A goat thrown in to make it tough. +Let scientists the breed pooh! pooh! +Come with me to some Social Zoo +And hear the bearded Lion bleat +Goat-like on patent-kidded feet, +Whose "Civil leer and damning praise" +The serpent's cloven tongue betrays. +Lo! lion, goat, and snake combined! +Thus Nature doth repeat her kind. + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Ph[oe]nix + + +The Ph[oe]nix was, as you might say, +The burning question of his day: +The more he burned, the more he grew +Splendiferous in feathers new. +And from his ashes rising bland, +Did business at the same old stand. +But though good people went about +And talked, they could not put him out. +A wond'rous bird--indeed, they say +He is not quite extinct to-day. + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Gryphon + + +It chanced that Allah, looking round, +When he had made his creatures, found +Half of an Eagle and a pair +Of extra Lion legs to spare. +So, hating waste, he took some glue +And made a Gryphon of the two. +But when his handiwork he eyed, +He frowned--and it was petrified, +Doomed for all time to represent +Impatience on a monument. +Sometimes upon our path to-day +Its living counterpart will stray-- +Columbia's Eagle strutting in +An awf'ly English Lion's skin, +With glass in eye and swagg'ring gait: +Behold the Gryphon up to date. + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Harpy + + +They certainly contrived to raise +Queer ladies in the olden days. +Either the type had not been fixed, +Or else Zoology got mixed. +I envy not primeval man +This female on the feathered plan. +We only have, I'm glad to say, +Two kinds of human bird to-day-- +Women and warriors, who still +Wear feathers when dressed up to kill. + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Centaur + + +The Centaur led a double life: +Two natures in perpetual strife +He had, that never could agree +On what the bill-of-fare should be; +For when the man-half set his heart +On taking dinner _à la carte_, +The horse was sure to cast his vote +Unswervingly for _table d'OAT_. +A pretty sort of life to lead; +The horse in time went off his feed, +The hungry man was nigh demented, +When one day--OATMEAL was invented! + +[Illustration] + + + + +Pegasus + + +The ancients made no end of fuss +About a horse named Pegasus, +A famous flyer of his time, +Who often soared to heights sublime, +When backed by some poetic chap +For the Parnassus Handicap. +Alas for fame! The other day +I saw an ancient "one-hoss shay" +Stop at the Mont de Piété, +And, lo! alighting from the same, +A bard, whom I forbear to name. +Noting the poor beast's rusty hide +(The horse, I mean), methought I spied +What once were wings. Incredulous, +I cried, "Can _this_ be Pegasus!" + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Hydra + + +The Hydra Hercules defied, +Its nine diminished heads must hide +Before the baneful modern beast +Who has a thousand heads at least. +See how in horrid tiers they rise, +With straining ears and bulging eyes, +While, blinded by fierce calcium rays, +The trembling victim tribute pays +Of song or measure, mime or jest, +To soothe the savage Hydra's breast. +If she please not the monster's whim, +Wild scribes will tear her limb from limb; +Even if charmed, he rend the air +With hideous joy, let her beware; +For she must surely, soon or late, +Fall 'neath the hissing Hydra's hate. + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Hyppogriff + + +Biologists are prone to sniff +At hybrids like the Hyppogriff. +In evolution's plan, they say, +There is no place for such as they. +A horse with wings could not have more +Than two legs, and this beast had four. +Well, I for one am glad to waive +Two of his legs, his wings to save. +I'd even sell my auto--if +I had one--for a Hyppogriff. + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Minotaur + + +No book of monsters is complete +Without the Minotaur of Crete. +Yet should I draw him you would quail, +So in his place I draw a veil. +O stars, that from Creation's birth +Have winked at everything on earth, +Who shine where poets fear to tread, + Relate the story in my stead! + + * * * * * + +Although it's comforting to know +That Theseus slew him long ago, +_We_ need not boast, we too could do +With--well, a Theseus or two. + +[Illustration] + + +The End. + + + + + * * * * * + + + BOOKS BY OLIVER HERFORD + +_WITH PICTURES BY THE AUTHOR_ + +PUBLISHED BY CHARLES SCRIBNER'S SONS + + +THE BASHFUL EARTHQUAKE $1.25 + +A CHILD'S PRIMER OF NATURAL HISTORY $1.25 + +OVERHEARD IN A GARDEN $1.25 + +MORE ANIMALS _net_, $1.00 + +THE RUBAIYAT OF A PERSIAN KITTEN _net_, $1.00 + +THE FAIRY GODMOTHER-IN-LAW _net_, $1.00 + +A LITTLE BOOK OF BORES _net_, $1.00 + +THE PETER PAN ALPHABE _net_, $1.00 + +THE ASTONISHING TALE OF A PEN-AND-INK PUPPET _net_, $1.00 + +A KITTEN'S GARDEN OF VERSES _net_, $1.00 + +THE MYTHOLOGICAL ZOO _net_, .75 + + +_WITH JOHN CECIL CLAY_ + +CUPID'S CYCLOPEDIA _net_, $1.00 + +CUPID'S FAIR-WEATHER BOOKE _net_, $1.00 + + + * * * * * + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Mythological Zoo, by Oliver Herford + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MYTHOLOGICAL ZOO *** + +***** This file should be named 23749-8.txt or 23749-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/3/7/4/23749/ + +Produced by Geetu Melwani and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Mythological Zoo + +Author: Oliver Herford + +Release Date: December 6, 2007 [EBook #23749] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MYTHOLOGICAL ZOO *** + + + + +Produced by Geetu Melwani and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + + + + + +</pre> + + + +<h1>The Mythological Zoo</h1> + +<h3>By</h3> + +<h2>Oliver Herford</h2> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 100px;"> +<img src="images/logo.jpg" width="100" height="118" alt="" title="" /> +</div> + +<h5>New York - Charles Scribner's Sons<br /> +1912</h5> + + +<h6>Copyright, 1912, by Oliver Herford</h6> + +<h6>Published September, 1912</h6> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h5>To<br /><br /> + +Elwyn Barron<br /><br /> + +With Affectionate Regard</h5> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>Contents</h2> +<table class='toc' summary='Table of Contents'> +<tr><td></td><td class ="number">Page</td> +</tr><tr><td><a href="#Medusa"><b>Medusa</b></a></td> +<td class='number'>2</td> +</tr><tr><td><a href="#The_Siren"><b>The Siren</b></a></td> +<td class='number'>4</td> +</tr><tr><td><a href="#The_Dolphin"><b>The Dolphin</b></a></td> +<td class='number'>6</td> +</tr><tr><td><a href="#The_Cockatrice"><b>The Cockatrice</b></a></td> +<td class='number'>8</td> +</tr><tr><td><a href="#Cerberus"><b>Cerberus</b></a></td> +<td class='number'>10</td> +</tr><tr><td><a href="#The_Sphinx"><b>The Sphinx</b></a></td> +<td class='number'>12</td> +</tr><tr><td><a href="#The_Sea_Serpent"><b>The Sea Serpent</b></a></td> +<td class='number'>14</td> +</tr><tr><td><a href="#The_Salamander"><b>The Salamander</b></a></td> +<td class='number'>16</td> +</tr><tr><td><a href="#The_Jinn"><b>The Jinn</b></a></td> +<td class='number'>18</td> +</tr><tr><td><a href="#The_Mermaid"><b>The Mermaid</b></a></td> +<td class='number'>20</td> +</tr><tr><td><a href="#The_Unicorn"><b>The Unicorn</b></a></td> +<td class='number'>22</td> +</tr><tr><td><a href="#The_Satyr"><b>The Satyr</b></a></td> +<td class='number'>24</td> +</tr><tr><td><a href="#The_Gargoyle"><b>The Gargoyle</b></a></td> +<td class='number'>26</td> +</tr><tr><td><a href="#The_Chimera"><b>The Chimera</b></a></td> +<td class='number'>28</td> +</tr><tr><td><a href="#The_Phoenix"><b>The Phœnix</b></a></td> +<td class='number'>30</td> +</tr><tr><td><a href="#The_Gryphon"><b>The Gryphon</b></a></td> +<td class='number'>32</td> +</tr><tr><td><a href="#The_Harpy"><b>The Harpy</b></a></td> +<td class='number'>34</td> +</tr><tr><td><a href="#The_Centaur"><b>The Centaur</b></a></td> +<td class='number'>36</td> +</tr><tr><td><a href="#Pegasus"><b>Pegasus</b></a></td> +<td class='number'>38</td> +</tr><tr><td><a href="#The_Hydra"><b>The Hydra</b></a></td> +<td class='number'>40</td> +</tr><tr><td><a href="#The_Hyppogriff"><b>The Hyppogriff</b></a></td> +<td class='number'>42</td> +</tr><tr><td><a href="#The_Minotaur"><b>The Minotaur</b></a></td> +<td class='number'>44</td></tr> +</table> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>The Mythological Zoo</h2> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="Medusa" id="Medusa"></a>Medusa</h2> + + +<div class="cpoem"> +<p><span style="margin-left: 5em;">How did Medusa do her hair?</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">The question fills me with despair.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">It must have caused her sore distress</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">That head of curling snakes to dress.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Whenever after endless toil</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">She coaxed it finally to coil,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">The music of a Passing Band</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Would cause each separate hair to stand</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">On end and sway and writhe and spit,—</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">She couldn't "do a thing with it."</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">And, being woman and aware</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Of such disaster to her hair,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">What <i>could</i> she do but petrify</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">All whom she met, with freezing eye?</span><br /> +</p></div> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_2" id="Page_2">[Pg 2]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 500px;"> +<img src="images/illos1.jpg" width="500" height="494" alt="" title="" /> +</div> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[Pg 3]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="The_Siren" id="The_Siren"></a>The Siren</h2> + + +<div class="cpoem"> +<p><span style="margin-left: 5em;">The Siren may be said to be</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">The Chorus-Lady of the Sea;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Tho' Mermaids claim her as their kin,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Instead of fishy tail and fin</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Two shapely feet rejoice the view</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">(With all that appertains thereto).</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">When to these other charms we add</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">A voice that drives the hearer mad,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Who will dispute her claim to be</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">The Chorus-Lady of the Sea?</span><br /> +</p></div> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[Pg 4]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 500px;"> +<img src="images/illos2.jpg" width="500" height="500" alt="" title="" /> +</div> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[Pg 5]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="The_Dolphin" id="The_Dolphin"></a>The Dolphin</h2> + + +<div class="cpoem"> +<p><span style="margin-left: 5em;">The Dolphin was, if you should wish</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">To call him so,—the King of Fish.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Though having neither gills nor scales,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">His title <i>should be</i> Prince of Whales.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">While too small waisted to provide</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">A Jonah with a Berth Inside,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">The Dolphin has been known to pack</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">A Drowning Sailor on his back</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">And bear him safely into port,—</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">He was a Taxi-whale, in short.</span><br /> +</p></div> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[Pg 6]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 500px;"> +<img src="images/illos3.jpg" width="500" height="499" alt="" title="" /> +</div> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[Pg 7]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="The_Cockatrice" id="The_Cockatrice"></a>The Cockatrice</h2> + + +<div class="cpoem"> +<p><span style="margin-left: 5em;">If you will listen to advice</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">You will avoid the Cockatrice—</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">A caution I need hardly say</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Wholly superfluous to-day.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Yet had you lived when they were rife</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Such warning might have saved your life.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">To meet the Cockatrice's eye</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Means certain death—and that is why</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">When I its features here portray</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">I make it look the other way.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">O Cockatrice! were you so mean</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">What must the <i>Hen</i>atrice have been!</span><br /> +</p></div> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[Pg 8]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 500px;"> +<img src="images/illos4.jpg" width="500" height="497" alt="" title="" /> +</div> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[Pg 9]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="Cerberus" id="Cerberus"></a>Cerberus</h2> + + +<div class="cpoem"> +<p><span style="margin-left: 5em;">Dear Reader, should you chance to go</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">To Hades, do not fail to throw</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">A "Sop to Cerberus" at the gate,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">His anger to propitiate.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Don't say "Good dog!" and hope thereby</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">His three fierce Heads to pacify.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">What though he try to be polite</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">And wag his Tail with all his might,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">How shall one amiable Tail</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Against three angry Heads prevail?</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">The Heads <i>must</i> win.—What puzzles me</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Is why in Hades there should be</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">A Watch dog; 'tis, I should surmise,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">The <i>last</i> place one would burglarize.</span><br /> +</p></div> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[Pg 10]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 500px;"> +<img src="images/illos5.jpg" width="500" height="497" alt="" title="" /> +</div> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="The_Sphinx" id="The_Sphinx"></a>The Sphinx</h2> + + +<div class="cpoem"> +<p><span style="margin-left: 5em;">She was half Lady and half cat—</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">What is so wonderful in that?</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Half of our lady friends (so say</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">The other half) are <i>Cats</i> to-day.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">In Egypt she made quite a stir,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">They carved huge Images of her.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Riddles she asked of all she met</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">And all who answered wrong, she ate.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">When Œdipus her riddle solved</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">The minx—I mean the Sphinx—dissolved</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">In tears. What is there, when one thinks,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">So wonderful about the Sphinx?</span><br /> +</p></div> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 500px;"> +<img src="images/illos6.jpg" width="500" height="498" alt="" title="" /> +</div> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="The_Sea_Serpent" id="The_Sea_Serpent"></a>The Sea Serpent</h2> + + +<div class="cpoem"> +<p><span style="margin-left: 5em;">O wondrous worm that won the Height</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Of Fame by keeping out of sight!</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Never was known on Land or Sea</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Such a Colossal Modesty;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Never such arrogant pretence</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Of Ostentatious Diffidence.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Celebrity whom none has seen,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Save some Post Prandial Marine,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">No magazine can reproduce</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Your Photograph.—Oh, what's the use</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Of doing things when one may be</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">So Famous a Nonentity!</span><br /> +</p></div> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 500px;"> +<img src="images/illos7.jpg" width="500" height="498" alt="" title="" /> +</div> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="The_Salamander" id="The_Salamander"></a>The Salamander</h2> + + +<div class="cpoem"> +<p><span style="margin-left: 5em;">The Salamander made his bed</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Among the glowing embers red.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">A Fiery Furnace, to his mind,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Hygiene and Luxury combined.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">He was, if I may put it so,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">A Saurian Abednigo.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">He loved to climb with nimble ease</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">The branches of the Gas-log Trees</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Where oft on chilly winter nights</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">He rose to dizzy Fahrenheits.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Believers in Soul Transmigration</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">See in him the Re-incarnation</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Of those Sad Plagues of summer, who</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Ask, "Is it hot enough for you?"</span><br /> +</p></div> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 500px;"> +<img src="images/illos8.jpg" width="500" height="498" alt="" title="" /> +</div> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="The_Jinn" id="The_Jinn"></a>The Jinn</h2> + + +<div class="cpoem"> +<p><span style="margin-left: 5em;">To call a Jinn the only thing</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">One needed was a magic ring.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">You rubbed the ring and forth there came</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">A monster born of smoke and flame,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">A thing of Vapor, Fume and Glare</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Ready to waft you anywhere.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">The magic Jinns of yesterday</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">The wand of Science now obey.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">You ring, and lo! with rush and roar</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">The panting monster's at the door,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">A thing of Vapor, Fume and Glare</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Ready to take you anywhere.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">What's in a name? What choice between</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">The Giants, Jinn and Gasolene?</span><br /> +</p></div> + + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 500px;"> +<img src="images/illos9.jpg" width="500" height="502" alt="" title="" /> +</div> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="The_Mermaid" id="The_Mermaid"></a>The Mermaid</h2> + + +<div class="cpoem"> +<p><span style="margin-left: 5em;">Although a Fishwife in a sense,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">She does not barter Fish for Pence.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Fisher of Men, her Golden Nets</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">For foolish Sailormen she sets.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">All day she combs her hair and longs</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">For Dimpled Feet and Curling-tongs.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">All night she dreams in ocean caves</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Of Low tide Shoes and Marcel Waves.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">And while the Fishwife, making sales,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">May sell her wares upon her scales,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">The Mermaid, wonderful to tell,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Must wear her scales upon hersel'.</span><br /> +</p></div> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 500px;"> +<img src="images/illos10.jpg" width="500" height="497" alt="" title="" /> +</div> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="The_Unicorn" id="The_Unicorn"></a>The Unicorn</h2> + + +<div class="cpoem"> +<p><span style="margin-left: 5em;">The Unicorn 's a first-rate sort.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">He helps the Lion to support</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">The royal arms of England's King</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">And keep the Throne from tottering.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">I wonder what the King would do</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">If his supporters all withdrew?</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Perhaps he'd try the Stage; a Throne</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Should be an easy stepping-stone</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">To histrionic Heights, and who</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Knows till he tries what he can do?</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">The King, with diligence and care,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;"><i>Might</i> rise to be a Manager.</span><br /> +</p></div> + + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 500px;"> +<img src="images/illos11.jpg" width="500" height="496" alt="" title="" /> +</div> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="The_Satyr" id="The_Satyr"></a>The Satyr</h2> + + +<div class="cpoem"> +<p><span style="margin-left: 5em;">The Satyr lived in times remote,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">A shape half-human and half-goat,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Who, having all Man's faults combined</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">With a Goat's nature unrefined,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Was not what you would call a bright</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Example or a shining light.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Far be it from me to condone</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">The Satyr's sins, yet I must own</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">I like to think there were a few</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Young Satyrs who to Heaven flew,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">And when Saint Peter, thunder browed,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Seeing them, cried, "No goats allowed!"</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Although the gate slammed quickly to,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Somehow their human halves got through;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Whereat the kindly saint relented,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">And that's how Cherubs were invented.</span><br /> +</p></div> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 500px;"> +<img src="images/illos12.jpg" width="500" height="496" alt="" title="" /> +</div> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="The_Gargoyle" id="The_Gargoyle"></a>The Gargoyle</h2> + + +<div class="cpoem"> +<p><span style="margin-left: 5em;">The Gargoyle often makes its perch</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">On a cathedral or a church,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Where, mid ecclesiastic style,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">It smiles an early-Gothic smile.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">And while the parson, dignified,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Spouts at his weary flock inside,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">The Gargoyle, from its lofty seat,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Spouts at the people in the street,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">And, like the parson, seems to say</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">To those beneath him, "Let us spray."</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">I like the Gargoyle best; it plays</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">So cheerfully on rainy days,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">While parsons (no one can deny)</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Are awful dampers—when they're dry.</span><br /> +</p></div> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 500px;"> +<img src="images/illos13.jpg" width="500" height="494" alt="" title="" /> +</div> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="The_Chimera" id="The_Chimera"></a>The Chimera</h2> + + +<div class="cpoem"> +<p><span style="margin-left: 5em;">You'd think a lion or a snake</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Were quite enough one's nerves to shake;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">But in this classic beast we find</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">A lion and a snake combined,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">And, just as if that weren't enough,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">A goat thrown in to make it tough.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Let scientists the breed pooh! pooh!</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Come with me to some Social Zoo</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">And hear the bearded Lion bleat</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Goat-like on patent-kidded feet,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Whose "Civil leer and damning praise"</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">The serpent's cloven tongue betrays.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Lo! lion, goat, and snake combined!</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Thus Nature doth repeat her kind.</span><br /> +</p></div> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 500px;"> +<img src="images/illos14.jpg" width="500" height="497" alt="" title="" /> +</div> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="The_Phoenix" id="The_Phoenix"></a>The Phœnix</h2> + + +<div class="cpoem"> +<p><span style="margin-left: 5em;">The Phœnix was, as you might say,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">The burning question of his day:</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">The more he burned, the more he grew</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Splendiferous in feathers new.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">And from his ashes rising bland,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Did business at the same old stand.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">But though good people went about</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">And talked, they could not put him out.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">A wond'rous bird—indeed, they say</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">He is not quite extinct to-day.</span><br /> +</p></div> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 500px;"> +<img src="images/illos15.jpg" width="500" height="520" alt="" title="" /> +</div> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="The_Gryphon" id="The_Gryphon"></a>The Gryphon</h2> + + +<div class="cpoem"> +<p><span style="margin-left: 5em;">It chanced that Allah, looking round,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">When he had made his creatures, found</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Half of an Eagle and a pair</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Of extra Lion legs to spare.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">So, hating waste, he took some glue</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">And made a Gryphon of the two.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">But when his handiwork he eyed,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">He frowned—and it was petrified,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Doomed for all time to represent</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Impatience on a monument.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Sometimes upon our path to-day</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Its living counterpart will stray—</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Columbia's Eagle strutting in</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">An awf'ly English Lion's skin,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">With glass in eye and swagg'ring gait:</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Behold the Gryphon up to date.</span><br /> +</p></div> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[Pg 32]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 500px;"> +<img src="images/illos16.jpg" width="500" height="504" alt="" title="" /> +</div> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="The_Harpy" id="The_Harpy"></a>The Harpy</h2> + + +<div class="cpoem"> +<p><span style="margin-left: 5em;">They certainly contrived to raise</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Queer ladies in the olden days.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Either the type had not been fixed,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Or else Zoology got mixed.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">I envy not primeval man</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">This female on the feathered plan.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">We only have, I'm glad to say,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Two kinds of human bird to-day—</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Women and warriors, who still</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Wear feathers when dressed up to kill.</span><br /> +</p></div> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 500px;"> +<img src="images/illos17.jpg" width="500" height="493" alt="" title="" /> +</div> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="The_Centaur" id="The_Centaur"></a>The Centaur</h2> + + +<div class="cpoem"> +<p><span style="margin-left: 5em;">The Centaur led a double life:</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Two natures in perpetual strife</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">He had, that never could agree</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">On what the bill-of-fare should be;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">For when the man-half set his heart</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">On taking dinner <i>à la carte</i>,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">The horse was sure to cast his vote</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Unswervingly for <i>table d'OAT</i>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">A pretty sort of life to lead;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">The horse in time went off his feed,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">The hungry man was nigh demented,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">When one day—<span class="smcap">oatmeal</span> was invented!</span><br /> +</p></div> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[Pg 36]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 500px;"> +<img src="images/illos18.jpg" width="500" height="499" alt="" title="" /> +</div> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[Pg 37]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="Pegasus" id="Pegasus"></a>Pegasus</h2> + + +<div class="cpoem"> +<p><span style="margin-left: 5em;">The ancients made no end of fuss</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">About a horse named Pegasus,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">A famous flyer of his time,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Who often soared to heights sublime,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">When backed by some poetic chap</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">For the Parnassus Handicap.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Alas for fame! The other day</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">I saw an ancient "one-hoss shay"</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Stop at the Mont de Piété,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">And, lo! alighting from the same,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">A bard, whom I forbear to name.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Noting the poor beast's rusty hide</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">(The horse, I mean), methought I spied</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">What once were wings. Incredulous,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">I cried, "Can <i>this</i> be Pegasus!"</span><br /> +</p></div> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[Pg 38]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 500px;"> +<img src="images/illos19.jpg" width="500" height="497" alt="" title="" /> +</div> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="The_Hydra" id="The_Hydra"></a>The Hydra</h2> + + +<div class="cpoem"> +<p><span style="margin-left: 5em;">The Hydra Hercules defied,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Its nine diminished heads must hide</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Before the baneful modern beast</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Who has a thousand heads at least.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">See how in horrid tiers they rise,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">With straining ears and bulging eyes,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">While, blinded by fierce calcium rays,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">The trembling victim tribute pays</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Of song or measure, mime or jest,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">To soothe the savage Hydra's breast.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">If she please not the monster's whim,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Wild scribes will tear her limb from limb;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Even if charmed, he rend the air</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">With hideous joy, let her beware;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">For she must surely, soon or late,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Fall 'neath the hissing Hydra's hate.</span><br /> +</p></div> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[Pg 40]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 500px;"> +<img src="images/illos20.jpg" width="500" height="501" alt="" title="" /> +</div> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="The_Hyppogriff" id="The_Hyppogriff"></a>The Hyppogriff</h2> + + +<div class="cpoem"> +<p><span style="margin-left: 5em;">Biologists are prone to sniff</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">At hybrids like the Hyppogriff.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">In evolution's plan, they say,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">There is no place for such as they.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">A horse with wings could not have more</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Than two legs, and this beast had four.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Well, I for one am glad to waive</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Two of his legs, his wings to save.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">I'd even sell my auto—if</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">I had one—for a Hyppogriff.</span><br /> +</p></div> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[Pg 42]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 500px;"> +<img src="images/illos21.jpg" width="500" height="502" alt="" title="" /> +</div> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[Pg 43]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="The_Minotaur" id="The_Minotaur"></a>The Minotaur</h2> + + +<div class="cpoem"> +<p><span style="margin-left: 5em;">No book of monsters is complete</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Without the Minotaur of Crete.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Yet should I draw him you would quail,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">So in his place I draw a veil.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">O stars, that from Creation's birth</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Have winked at everything on earth,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Who shine where poets fear to tread,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 8em;">Relate the story in my stead!</span><br /><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">* * * * * + * * * *</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">* * * * * + * * * *</span><br /><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">Although it's comforting to know</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">That Theseus slew him long ago,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;"><i>We</i> need not boast, we too could do</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5em;">With—well, a Theseus or two.</span><br /> +</p></div> + + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[Pg 44]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 500px;"> +<img src="images/illos22.jpg" width="500" height="501" alt="" title="" /> +</div> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[Pg 45]</a></span></p> + +<h2><br /><br />The End.</h2> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + + +<h3>BOOKS BY OLIVER HERFORD</h3> + +<h6><i>WITH PICTURES BY THE AUTHOR</i></h6> + +<h6>PUBLISHED BY CHARLES SCRIBNER'S SONS</h6> + + +<table class='toc' summary='OtherBooks'> +<tr><td>The Bashful Earthquake</td><td class='number'>$1.25</td></tr> +<tr><td>A Child's Primer Of Natural History</td><td class='number'>$1.25</td></tr> +<tr><td>Overheard In A Garden</td><td class='number'>$1.25</td></tr> +<tr><td>More Animals</td><td class='number'><i>net</i>, $1.00</td></tr> +<tr><td>The Rubaiyat Of A Persian Kitten</td><td class='number'><i>net</i>, $1.00</td></tr> +<tr><td>The Fairy Godmother-in-law</td><td class='number'><i>net</i>, $1.00</td></tr> +<tr><td>A Little Book Of Bores</td><td class='number'><i>net</i>, $1.00</td></tr> +<tr><td>The Peter Pan Alphabet</td><td class='number'><i>net</i>, $1.00</td></tr> +<tr><td>The Astonishing Tale Of A Pen-and-ink Puppet </td><td class='number'><i>net</i>, $1.00</td></tr> +<tr><td>A Kitten's Garden Of Verses</td><td 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Mythological Zoo + +Author: Oliver Herford + +Release Date: December 6, 2007 [EBook #23749] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MYTHOLOGICAL ZOO *** + + + + +Produced by Geetu Melwani and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + + + + + + + + +The Mythological Zoo + +By + +Oliver Herford + +[Illustration] + +New York - Charles Scribner's Sons +1912 + + +Copyright, 1912, by Oliver Herford + +Published September, 1912 + + + + +To + +Elwyn Barron + +With Affectionate Regard + + + + +Contents + + Page + +Medusa 2 +The Siren 4 +The Dolphin 6 +The Cockatrice 8 +Cerberus 10 +The Sphinx 12 +The Sea Serpent 14 +The Salamander 16 +The Jinn 18 +The Mermaid 20 +The Unicorn 22 +The Satyr 24 +The Gargoyle 26 +The Chimera 28 +The Ph[oe]nix 30 +The Gryphon 32 +The Harpy 34 +The Centaur 36 +Pegasus 38 +The Hydra 40 +The Hyppogriff 42 +The Minotaur 44 + + + + +The Mythological Zoo + + + + +Medusa + + +How did Medusa do her hair? +The question fills me with despair. +It must have caused her sore distress +That head of curling snakes to dress. +Whenever after endless toil +She coaxed it finally to coil, +The music of a Passing Band +Would cause each separate hair to stand +On end and sway and writhe and spit,-- +She couldn't "do a thing with it." +And, being woman and aware +Of such disaster to her hair, +What _could_ she do but petrify +All whom she met, with freezing eye? + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Siren + + +The Siren may be said to be +The Chorus-Lady of the Sea; +Tho' Mermaids claim her as their kin, +Instead of fishy tail and fin +Two shapely feet rejoice the view +(With all that appertains thereto). +When to these other charms we add +A voice that drives the hearer mad, +Who will dispute her claim to be +The Chorus-Lady of the Sea? + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Dolphin + + +The Dolphin was, if you should wish +To call him so,--the King of Fish. +Though having neither gills nor scales, +His title _should be_ Prince of Whales. +While too small waisted to provide +A Jonah with a Berth Inside, +The Dolphin has been known to pack +A Drowning Sailor on his back +And bear him safely into port,-- +He was a Taxi-whale, in short. + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Cockatrice + + +If you will listen to advice +You will avoid the Cockatrice-- +A caution I need hardly say +Wholly superfluous to-day. +Yet had you lived when they were rife +Such warning might have saved your life. +To meet the Cockatrice's eye +Means certain death--and that is why +When I its features here portray +I make it look the other way. +O Cockatrice! were you so mean +What must the _Hen_atrice have been! + +[Illustration] + + + + +Cerberus + + +Dear Reader, should you chance to go +To Hades, do not fail to throw +A "Sop to Cerberus" at the gate, +His anger to propitiate. +Don't say "Good dog!" and hope thereby +His three fierce Heads to pacify. +What though he try to be polite +And wag his Tail with all his might, +How shall one amiable Tail +Against three angry Heads prevail? +The Heads _must_ win.--What puzzles me +Is why in Hades there should be +A Watch dog; 'tis, I should surmise, +The _last_ place one would burglarize. + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Sphinx + + +She was half Lady and half cat-- +What is so wonderful in that? +Half of our lady friends (so say +The other half) are _Cats_ to-day. +In Egypt she made quite a stir, +They carved huge Images of her. +Riddles she asked of all she met +And all who answered wrong, she ate. +When Oedipus her riddle solved +The minx--I mean the Sphinx--dissolved +In tears. What is there, when one thinks, +So wonderful about the Sphinx? + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Sea Serpent + + +O wondrous worm that won the Height +Of Fame by keeping out of sight! +Never was known on Land or Sea +Such a Colossal Modesty; +Never such arrogant pretence +Of Ostentatious Diffidence. +Celebrity whom none has seen, +Save some Post Prandial Marine, +No magazine can reproduce +Your Photograph.--Oh, what's the use +Of doing things when one may be +So Famous a Nonentity! + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Salamander + + +The Salamander made his bed +Among the glowing embers red. +A Fiery Furnace, to his mind, +Hygiene and Luxury combined. +He was, if I may put it so, +A Saurian Abednigo. +He loved to climb with nimble ease +The branches of the Gas-log Trees +Where oft on chilly winter nights +He rose to dizzy Fahrenheits. +Believers in Soul Transmigration +See in him the Re-incarnation +Of those Sad Plagues of summer, who +Ask, "Is it hot enough for you?" + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Jinn + + +To call a Jinn the only thing +One needed was a magic ring. +You rubbed the ring and forth there came +A monster born of smoke and flame, +A thing of Vapor, Fume and Glare +Ready to waft you anywhere. +The magic Jinns of yesterday +The wand of Science now obey. +You ring, and lo! with rush and roar +The panting monster's at the door, +A thing of Vapor, Fume and Glare +Ready to take you anywhere. +What's in a name? What choice between +The Giants, Jinn and Gasolene? + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Mermaid + + +Although a Fishwife in a sense, +She does not barter Fish for Pence. +Fisher of Men, her Golden Nets +For foolish Sailormen she sets. +All day she combs her hair and longs +For Dimpled Feet and Curling-tongs. +All night she dreams in ocean caves +Of Low tide Shoes and Marcel Waves. +And while the Fishwife, making sales, +May sell her wares upon her scales, +The Mermaid, wonderful to tell, +Must wear her scales upon hersel'. + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Unicorn + + +The Unicorn 's a first-rate sort. +He helps the Lion to support +The royal arms of England's King +And keep the Throne from tottering. +I wonder what the King would do +If his supporters all withdrew? +Perhaps he'd try the Stage; a Throne +Should be an easy stepping-stone +To histrionic Heights, and who +Knows till he tries what he can do? +The King, with diligence and care, +_Might_ rise to be a Manager. + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Satyr + + +The Satyr lived in times remote, +A shape half-human and half-goat, +Who, having all Man's faults combined +With a Goat's nature unrefined, +Was not what you would call a bright +Example or a shining light. +Far be it from me to condone +The Satyr's sins, yet I must own +I like to think there were a few +Young Satyrs who to Heaven flew, +And when Saint Peter, thunder browed, +Seeing them, cried, "No goats allowed!" +Although the gate slammed quickly to, +Somehow their human halves got through; +Whereat the kindly saint relented, +And that's how Cherubs were invented. + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Gargoyle + + +The Gargoyle often makes its perch +On a cathedral or a church, +Where, mid ecclesiastic style, +It smiles an early-Gothic smile. +And while the parson, dignified, +Spouts at his weary flock inside, +The Gargoyle, from its lofty seat, +Spouts at the people in the street, +And, like the parson, seems to say +To those beneath him, "Let us spray." +I like the Gargoyle best; it plays +So cheerfully on rainy days, +While parsons (no one can deny) +Are awful dampers--when they're dry. + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Chimera + + +You'd think a lion or a snake +Were quite enough one's nerves to shake; +But in this classic beast we find +A lion and a snake combined, +And, just as if that weren't enough, +A goat thrown in to make it tough. +Let scientists the breed pooh! pooh! +Come with me to some Social Zoo +And hear the bearded Lion bleat +Goat-like on patent-kidded feet, +Whose "Civil leer and damning praise" +The serpent's cloven tongue betrays. +Lo! lion, goat, and snake combined! +Thus Nature doth repeat her kind. + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Ph[oe]nix + + +The Ph[oe]nix was, as you might say, +The burning question of his day: +The more he burned, the more he grew +Splendiferous in feathers new. +And from his ashes rising bland, +Did business at the same old stand. +But though good people went about +And talked, they could not put him out. +A wond'rous bird--indeed, they say +He is not quite extinct to-day. + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Gryphon + + +It chanced that Allah, looking round, +When he had made his creatures, found +Half of an Eagle and a pair +Of extra Lion legs to spare. +So, hating waste, he took some glue +And made a Gryphon of the two. +But when his handiwork he eyed, +He frowned--and it was petrified, +Doomed for all time to represent +Impatience on a monument. +Sometimes upon our path to-day +Its living counterpart will stray-- +Columbia's Eagle strutting in +An awf'ly English Lion's skin, +With glass in eye and swagg'ring gait: +Behold the Gryphon up to date. + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Harpy + + +They certainly contrived to raise +Queer ladies in the olden days. +Either the type had not been fixed, +Or else Zoology got mixed. +I envy not primeval man +This female on the feathered plan. +We only have, I'm glad to say, +Two kinds of human bird to-day-- +Women and warriors, who still +Wear feathers when dressed up to kill. + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Centaur + + +The Centaur led a double life: +Two natures in perpetual strife +He had, that never could agree +On what the bill-of-fare should be; +For when the man-half set his heart +On taking dinner _a la carte_, +The horse was sure to cast his vote +Unswervingly for _table d'OAT_. +A pretty sort of life to lead; +The horse in time went off his feed, +The hungry man was nigh demented, +When one day--OATMEAL was invented! + +[Illustration] + + + + +Pegasus + + +The ancients made no end of fuss +About a horse named Pegasus, +A famous flyer of his time, +Who often soared to heights sublime, +When backed by some poetic chap +For the Parnassus Handicap. +Alas for fame! The other day +I saw an ancient "one-hoss shay" +Stop at the Mont de Piete, +And, lo! alighting from the same, +A bard, whom I forbear to name. +Noting the poor beast's rusty hide +(The horse, I mean), methought I spied +What once were wings. Incredulous, +I cried, "Can _this_ be Pegasus!" + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Hydra + + +The Hydra Hercules defied, +Its nine diminished heads must hide +Before the baneful modern beast +Who has a thousand heads at least. +See how in horrid tiers they rise, +With straining ears and bulging eyes, +While, blinded by fierce calcium rays, +The trembling victim tribute pays +Of song or measure, mime or jest, +To soothe the savage Hydra's breast. +If she please not the monster's whim, +Wild scribes will tear her limb from limb; +Even if charmed, he rend the air +With hideous joy, let her beware; +For she must surely, soon or late, +Fall 'neath the hissing Hydra's hate. + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Hyppogriff + + +Biologists are prone to sniff +At hybrids like the Hyppogriff. +In evolution's plan, they say, +There is no place for such as they. +A horse with wings could not have more +Than two legs, and this beast had four. +Well, I for one am glad to waive +Two of his legs, his wings to save. +I'd even sell my auto--if +I had one--for a Hyppogriff. + +[Illustration] + + + + +The Minotaur + + +No book of monsters is complete +Without the Minotaur of Crete. +Yet should I draw him you would quail, +So in his place I draw a veil. +O stars, that from Creation's birth +Have winked at everything on earth, +Who shine where poets fear to tread, + Relate the story in my stead! + + * * * * * + +Although it's comforting to know +That Theseus slew him long ago, +_We_ need not boast, we too could do +With--well, a Theseus or two. + +[Illustration] + + +The End. + + + + + * * * * * + + + BOOKS BY OLIVER HERFORD + +_WITH PICTURES BY THE AUTHOR_ + +PUBLISHED BY CHARLES SCRIBNER'S SONS + + +THE BASHFUL EARTHQUAKE $1.25 + +A CHILD'S PRIMER OF NATURAL HISTORY $1.25 + +OVERHEARD IN A GARDEN $1.25 + +MORE ANIMALS _net_, $1.00 + +THE RUBAIYAT OF A PERSIAN KITTEN _net_, $1.00 + +THE FAIRY GODMOTHER-IN-LAW _net_, $1.00 + +A LITTLE BOOK OF BORES _net_, $1.00 + +THE PETER PAN ALPHABE _net_, $1.00 + +THE ASTONISHING TALE OF A PEN-AND-INK PUPPET _net_, $1.00 + +A KITTEN'S GARDEN OF VERSES _net_, $1.00 + +THE MYTHOLOGICAL ZOO _net_, .75 + + +_WITH JOHN CECIL CLAY_ + +CUPID'S CYCLOPEDIA _net_, $1.00 + +CUPID'S FAIR-WEATHER BOOKE _net_, $1.00 + + + * * * * * + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Mythological Zoo, by Oliver Herford + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MYTHOLOGICAL ZOO *** + +***** This file should be named 23749.txt or 23749.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/3/7/4/23749/ + +Produced by Geetu Melwani and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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