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+ <head>
+ <title>
+ A Gentleman's Gentleman, by F. Hopkinson Smith
+ </title>
+ <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve">
+
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+ P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; }
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+ hr { width: 50%; text-align: center;}
+ .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; }
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+ .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;}
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+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Gentleman's Gentleman, by F. Hopkinson Smith
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: A Gentleman's Gentleman
+ 1909
+
+Author: F. Hopkinson Smith
+
+Release Date: December 3, 2007 [EBook #23696]
+Last Updated: December 20, 2016
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: UTF-8
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A GENTLEMAN'S GENTLEMAN ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+ <div style="height: 8em;">
+ <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
+ </div>
+ <h1>
+ A GENTLEMAN&rsquo;S GENTLEMAN
+ </h1>
+ <h2>
+ By F. Hopkinson Smith <br /><br /> 1909
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ <br /> <br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /> <br />
+ </p>
+ <h2>
+ Contents
+ </h2>
+ <table summary="" style="margin-right: auto; margin-left: auto">
+ <tr>
+ <td>
+ <p class="toc">
+ <a href="#link2H_4_0001"> I </a>
+ </p>
+ <p class="toc">
+ <a href="#link2H_4_0002"> II </a>
+ </p>
+ </td>
+ </tr>
+ </table>
+ <p>
+ <br /> <br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /> <br /> <a name="link2H_4_0001" id="link2H_4_0001">
+ <!-- H2 anchor --> </a>
+ </p>
+ <div style="height: 4em;">
+ <br /><br /><br /><br />
+ </div>
+ <h2>
+ I
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ I had left Sandy MacWhirter crooning over his smouldering wood fire the
+ day Boggs blew in with news of the sale of Mac&rsquo;s two pictures at the
+ Academy, and his reply to my inquiry regarding his future plans (vaguely
+ connected with a certain girl in a steamer chair), &ldquo;By the next steamer,
+ my boy,&rdquo; still rang in my ears, but my surprise was none the less genuine
+ when I looked up from my easel, two months later, at Sonning-on-the-Thames
+ and caught sight of the dear fellow, with Lonnegan by his side, striding
+ down the tow-path in search of me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;By the Great Horn Spoon!&rdquo; came the cry. And the next minute his big arms
+ were about my shoulders, his cheery laugh filling the summer air.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Lonnegan&rsquo;s greeting was equally hearty and spontaneous, but it came with
+ less noise.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;He&rsquo;s been roaring that way ever since we left London,&rdquo; said the
+ architect. &ldquo;Ever since we landed, really,&rdquo; and he nodded at Mac. &ldquo;Awfully
+ glad to see you, old man!&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The next moment the three of us were flat on the grass telling our
+ experiences, the silver sheen of the river flashing between the
+ low-branched trees lining the banks.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Lonnegan&rsquo;s story ran thus:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Mac had disappeared the morning after their arrival; had remained away two
+ weeks, reappearing again with a grin on his face that had frozen stiff and
+ had never relaxed its grip. &ldquo;You can still see it; turn your head, Mac,
+ and let the gentleman see your smile.&rdquo; Since that time he had spent his
+ nights writing letters, and his days poring aver the morning&rsquo;s mail. &ldquo;Got
+ his pocket full of them now, and is so happy he&rsquo;s no sort of use to
+ anybody.&rdquo; Mac now got his innings:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Lonnegan&rsquo;s airs had been insufferable and his ignorance colossal. What
+ time he could spare from his English tailor&mdash;&ldquo;and you just ought to
+ see his clothes, and especially his checkerboard waistcoats&rdquo;&mdash;had
+ been spent in abusing everything in English art that wasn&rsquo;t three hundred
+ years old, and going into raptures over Lincoln Cathedral. The more he saw
+ of Lonnegan the more he was convinced that he had missed his calling. He
+ might succeed as a floorwalker in a department store, where his airs and
+ his tailor-made upholstery would impress the hayseeds from the country,
+ but, as for trying to be&mdash;The rest was lost in a gurgle of smothered
+ laughter, Lonnegan&rsquo;s thin, white fingers having by this time closed over
+ the painter&rsquo;s windpipe.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ My turn came now:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I had been at work a month; had my present quarters at the White Hart Inn,
+ within a stone&rsquo;s throw of where we lay sprawled with our faces to the sun&mdash;the
+ loveliest inn, by the way, on the Thames, and that was saying a lot&mdash;with
+ hand-polished tables, sleeve and trouser-polished arm-chairs, Chippendale
+ furniture, barmaids, pewter mugs, old and new ale, tough bread, tender
+ mutton, tarts&mdash;gooseberry and otherwise; strawberries&mdash;two would
+ fill a teacup&mdash;and <i>roses!</i> Millions of roses! &ldquo;Well, you
+ fellows just step up and look at &lsquo;em.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;And not a place to put your head,&rdquo; said Mac.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;How do you know?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Been there,&rdquo; replied Lonnegan. &ldquo;The only decent rooms are reserved for a
+ bloated American millionaire who arrives to-day&mdash;everything else
+ chock-a-block except two bunks under the roof, full of spiders.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Mac drew up one of his fat legs, stretched his arms, pushed his slouch hat
+ from his forehead&mdash;he was still on his back drinking in the sunshine&mdash;and
+ with a yawn cried:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;They ought to be exterminated.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;The spiders?&rdquo; grumbled Lonnegan.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;No, millionaires. They throw their money away like water; they crowd the
+ hotels. Nothing good enough for them. Prices all doubled, everything
+ slimed up by the trail of their dirty dollars. And the saddest thing in it
+ all to me is that you generally find one or two able-bodied American
+ citizens kotowing to them like wooden Chinese mandarins when the great men
+ take the air.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Who, for instance?&rdquo; I asked. No millionaires with any such outfit had
+ thus far come my way.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Lonnegan, for one,&rdquo; answered Mac.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The architect raised his head and shot a long, horizontal glance at the
+ prostrate form of the painter.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Yes, Lonnegan, I am sorry to say,&rdquo; continued Mac, his eyes fixed on the
+ yellow greens in the swaying tree-tops.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;I was only polite,&rdquo; protested the architect. &ldquo;Lambert is a client of
+ mine; building a stable for him. Very level-headed man is Mr. Samuel
+ Lambert; no frills and no swelled head. It was Tommy Wing who was doing
+ the mandarin act 32 the other day at the Carlton&mdash;not me. Got dead
+ intimate with him on the voyage over and has stuck to him like a plaster
+ ever since. Calls him &lsquo;Sam&rsquo; already&mdash;did to me.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Behind his back or to his face?&rdquo; spluttered Mac, tugging at his pipe.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Give it up,&rdquo; said Lonnegan, pulling his hat over his face to shield his
+ eyes from the sun.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Mac raised himself to a sitting posture, as if to reply, fumbled in his
+ watch-pocket for a match, instead; shook the ashes from his brier-wood,
+ filled the bowl with some tobacco from his rubber pouch, drew the lucifer
+ across his shoe, waited until the blue smoke mounted skyward and resumed
+ his former position. He was too happy mentally&mdash;the girl in the
+ steamer chair was responsible&mdash;and too lazy physically to argue with
+ anybody. Lonnegan rolled over on his elbows, and feasted his eyes on the
+ sweep of the sleepy river, dotted with punts and wherries, its background
+ of foliage in silhouette against the morning sky. The Thames was very
+ lovely that June, and the trained eye of the distinguished architect
+ missed none of its beauty and charm. I picked up my brushes and continued
+ work. The spirit of perfect camaraderie makes such silences not only
+ possible but enjoyable. It is the restless chatterer that tires.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Lonnegan&rsquo;s outbreak had set me to thinking. Lambert I knew only by
+ reputation&mdash;-as half the world knew him&mdash;a man of the people:
+ lumber boss, mill owner, proprietor of countless acres of virgin forest;
+ many times a millionaire. Then came New York and the ice-cream palace with
+ the rock-candy columns on the Avenue, and &ldquo;The Samuel Lamberts&rdquo; in the
+ society journals. This was all the wife&rsquo;s doings. Poor Maria! She had
+ forgotten the day when she washed his red flannel shirts and hung them on
+ a line stretched from the door of their log cabin to a giant white pine&mdash;one
+ of the founders of their fortune. If Tommy Wing called him &ldquo;Sam&rdquo; it was
+ because old &ldquo;Saw Logs,&rdquo; as he was often called, was lonely, and Tommy
+ amused him.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Tommy Wing&mdash;Thomas Bowditch Wing, his card ran&mdash;I had known for
+ years. He was basking on the topmost branches now, stretched out in the
+ sunshine of social success, swaying to every movement made by his
+ padrones. He was a little country squirrel when I first came across him,
+ frisking about the root of the tree and glad enough to scamper close to
+ the ground. He had climbed a long way since then. All the blossoms and
+ tender little buds were at the top, and Tommy was fond of buds, especially
+ when they bloomed out into yachts and four-in-hands, country houses,
+ winters in Egypt (Tommy an invited guest), house parties on Long Island or
+ at Tuxedo, or gala nights at the opera with seats in a first tier.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In the ascent he had forgotten his beginnings&mdash;not an unnatural thing
+ with Tommies: Son of a wine merchant&mdash;a most respectable man, too;
+ then &ldquo;Importer&rdquo; (Tommy altered the sign); elected member of an athletic
+ club; always well dressed, always polite;&mdash;invited to a member&rsquo;s
+ house to dine; was unobtrusive and careful not to make a break. Asked
+ again to fill a place at the table at the last moment-accepted gracefully,
+ not offended&mdash;never offended at anything. Was willing to see that the
+ young son caught the train, or would meet the daughter at the ferry and
+ escort her safely to school. &ldquo;So obliging, so trustworthy,&rdquo; the mother
+ said. Soon got to be &ldquo;among those present&rdquo; at the Sherry and Delmonico
+ balls. Then came little squibs in the society columns regarding the
+ movements of Thomas Bowditch Wing, Esquire. He knew the squibber, and
+ often gave her half a column. Was invited to a seat in the coaching
+ parade, saw his photograph the next morning in the papers, he sitting next
+ to the beautiful Miss Carnevelt. He was pretty near to the top now; only a
+ little farther to where the choicest buds were bursting into flower; too
+ far up, though, ever to recognize the little fellows he had left frisking
+ below. There was no time now to escort school-girls or fill unexpectedly
+ empty seats unless they were exclusive ones. His excuse was that he had
+ accepted an invitation to the branch above him. The mother of the
+ school-girl now, strange to say, instead of being miffed, liked him the
+ better, and, for the first time, began to wonder whether she hadn&rsquo;t made
+ too free with so important a personage. As a silent apology she begged an
+ invitation for a friend to the Bachelor Ball, Tommy being a subscriber and
+ entitled to the distribution of a certain number of tickets. Being single
+ and available, few outings were given without him&mdash;not only week-ends
+ (Weak Odds-and-Ends, Mac always called them), but trips to Washington,
+ even to Montreal in the winter. Then came the excursions abroad&mdash;Capri,
+ Tangier, Cairo.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It was on one of these jaunts that he met &ldquo;Saw Logs,&rdquo; who, after sizing
+ him up for a day, promptly called him &ldquo;Tommy,&rdquo; an abbreviation instantly
+ adopted by Maria&mdash;so fine, you know, to call a fellow &ldquo;Tommy&rdquo; who
+ knew everybody and went everywhere. Sometimes she shrieked his name the
+ length of the deck. On reaching London it was either the Carlton or the
+ Ritz for Lambert. Tommy, however, made a faint demur. &ldquo;Oh, hang the
+ expense, Tommy, you are my guest for the summer,&rdquo; broke out Lambert. What
+ a prime minister you would have made, Tommy, in some kitchen cabinet!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ There were no blossoms now out of his reach. Our little squirrel had
+ gained the top! To dazzle the wife and daughter with the priceless value
+ of his social position and then compel plain, honest, good-natured Samuel
+ Lambert to pay his bills, and to pay those bills, too, in such a way, &ldquo;by
+ Heavens, sir, as not to wound a gentleman&rsquo;s pride&rdquo;: that, indeed, was an
+ accomplishment. Had any other bushy tail of his acquaintance ever climbed
+ so high or accomplished so much?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ A movement on my right cut short my revery.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MacWhirter had lifted his big arms above his head, and was now twisting
+ his broad back as if for a better fulcrum.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Lonny&mdash;&rdquo; he cried, bringing his body once more to a sitting posture.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Yes, Mac.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;In that humiliating and servile interview which you had a short time ago
+ with your other genuflector, the landlord of the White Hart Inn, did you
+ in any way gain the impression that every ounce of grub in his shebang was
+ reserved for the special use of his highness, Count Kerosene, or the Earl
+ of Asphalt, or the Duke of Sausage, or whatever the brute calls himself?&mdash;or
+ do you think he can be induced to&mdash;&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Yes, I think so.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Think what, you obtuse duffer?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;That he can be induced.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Well, then, grab that easel and let us go to luncheon.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ <a name="link2H_4_0002" id="link2H_4_0002">
+ <!-- H2 anchor --> </a>
+ </p>
+ <div style="height: 4em;">
+ <br /><br /><br /><br />
+ </div>
+ <h2>
+ II
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ I had not exaggerated the charm of the White Hart Inn&mdash;nobody can. I
+ know most of the hostelries up and down this part of the river&mdash;the
+ &ldquo;Ferry&rdquo; at Cookham, the &ldquo;French Horn&rdquo; across the Backwater, one or two at
+ Henley, and a lovely old bungalow of a tavern at Maidenhead; but this
+ garden of roses at Sonning has never lost its fascination for me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ For the White Hart is like none of these. It fronts the river, of course,
+ as they all do&mdash;you can almost fish out of the coffee-room window of
+ the &ldquo;Ferry&rdquo; at Cookham&mdash;and all the life of the boat-houses, the
+ punts and wherries, with their sprawling cushions and bunches of
+ jack-straw oars, and tows, back and forth, of empty boats, goes on just as
+ it does at the other boat-landings, up and down the river; but, at the
+ White Hart, it is the rose garden that counts! Planted in rows, like corn,
+ their stalks straight as walking-sticks and as big; then a flare of
+ smaller stalks like umbrella ribs, the circle covered with Prince Alberts,
+ Cloth-of-Golds, Teas, Saffrons, Red Ramblers (the old gardener knows their
+ names; I don&rsquo;t). And the perfume that sweeps toward you and the way it
+ sinks into your soul! Bury your face in a bunch of them, if you don&rsquo;t
+ believe it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Then the bridge! That mouldy old mass of red brick that makes three clumsy
+ jumps before it clears the river, the green rushes growing about its feet.
+ And the glory of the bend below, with the fluff of elm, birch and maple
+ melting into the morning haze!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Inside it is none the less delightful. Awnings, fronting the garden,
+ stretch over the flowerbeds; vines twist their necks, the blossoms peeping
+ curiously as you take your coffee.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ There is a coffee-room, of course, with stags&rsquo; heads and hunting prints,
+ and small tables with old-fashioned flowers in tiny vases, as well as a
+ long serving board the width of the room, where everything that can be
+ boiled, baked or stewed and then served cold awaits the hungry.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It was at this long board that we three brought up, and it was not long
+ before Lonnegan and Mac were filling their plates, and with their own
+ hands, too, with thin cuts of cold roast beef, chicken and slivers of ham,
+ picking out the particular bread or toast or muffin they liked best,
+ bringing the whole out under the low awning with its screen of roses, the
+ swinging blossoms brushing their cheeks&mdash;some of them almost in their
+ plates.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ From where we sat over our boiled and baked&mdash;principally boiled&mdash;we
+ could see not only the suite of rooms reserved for the great man and his
+ party&mdash;one end of the inn, really, with a separate entrance&mdash;but
+ we could see, too, part of the tap-room, with its rows of bottles, and
+ could hear the laughter and raillery of the barmaid as she served the
+ droppers-in and loungers-about. We caught, as well, the small square hall,
+ flanked by the black-oak counter, behind which were banked bottles of
+ various shapes and sizes, rows of pewter tankards and the like, the whole
+ made comfortable with chairs cushioned in Turkey red, and never empty&mdash;the
+ chairs, I mean; the tankards always were, or about to be.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ This tap-room, I must tell you, is not a bar in the American sense, nor is
+ the girl a barkeeper in any sense. It is the open club of the village,
+ where everybody is welcome who is decent and agreeable. Even the curate
+ drops in&mdash;not for his toddy, perhaps (although &ldquo;You can&rsquo;t generally
+ sometimes almost always tell,&rdquo; as Mac said), but for a word with anybody
+ who happens to be about. And so does the big man of the village who owns
+ the mill, and the gardener from Lord So-and-So&rsquo;s estate, and the lord
+ himself, for that matter, the groom taking his &ldquo;bitter&rdquo; from the side
+ window, with one eye on his high stepper polished to a piano finish. All
+ have a word or a good-morning or a joke with the barmaid. She isn&rsquo;t at all
+ the kind of a girl you think she is. Try it some day and you&rsquo;ll discover
+ your mistake. It&rsquo;s Miss Nance, or Miss Ellen, or whatever else her parents
+ fancied; or Miss Figgins, or Connors, or Pugby&mdash;but it is never Nance
+ or Nell.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Our luncheon over, we joined the circle, the curate making room for
+ Lonnegan, Mac stretching his big frame half over a settle.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;From the States, gentlemen, I should judge,&rdquo; said the curate in a cheery
+ tone&mdash;an athletic and Oxford-looking curate, his high white collar
+ and high black waistcoat gripping a throat and chest that showed oars and
+ cricket bats in every muscle. Young, too&mdash;not over forty.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I returned the courtesy by pleading guilty, and in extenuation, presented
+ my comrades to the entire room, Lonnegan&rsquo;s graceful body straightening to
+ a present-arms posture as he grasped the outstretched hand of a brother
+ athlete, and Mac&rsquo;s heartiness capturing every one present, including the
+ barmaid.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Then some compounded extracts were passed over the counter and the talk
+ drifted as usual (I have never known it otherwise) into comparisons
+ between the two &ldquo;Hands Across the Sea&rdquo; people. That an Englishman will
+ ever really warm to a Frenchman or a German nobody who knows his race will
+ believe, but he can be entirely comfortable (and the well-bred Englishman
+ is the shyest man living) with the well-bred American.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Lonnegan as chief spokesman, in answer to an inquiry, and with an
+ assurance born of mastery of his subject instantly recognized by the
+ listeners, enlarged on the last architectural horror, the skyscraper, its
+ cost, and on the occupations of the myriads of human bees who were hived
+ between its floors, all so different from the more modest office
+ structures around the Bank of England: adding that he had the plans of two
+ on his drawing table at home, a statement which confirmed the good
+ opinions they had formed of his familiarity with the subject.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I floated in with some comparisons touching upon the technic of the two
+ schools of water-color painting, and, finding that the curate had a
+ brother who was an R.A., backed out again and rested on my oars.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Mac, more or less concerned over the expected arrival, and anxious that
+ his listeners should not consider the magnate as a fair example of his
+ countrymen, launched out upon the absence of all class distinctions at
+ home-one man as good as another&mdash;making Presidents out of farmers,
+ Senators out of cellar diggers, every man a king&mdash;that sort of thing.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ When Mac had finished&mdash;and these Englishmen <i>let you finish</i>&mdash;the
+ mill-owner, a heavy, red-faced man (out-of-doors exercise, not Burgundy),
+ with a gray whisker dabbed high up on each cheek, and a pair of keen,
+ merry eyes, threw back the lapels of his velveteen coat (riding-trousers
+ to match), and answered slowly:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;You&rsquo;ll excuse me, sir, but I stopped a while in the States, and I can&rsquo;t
+ agree with you. We take off our caps here to a lord because he is part of
+ our national system, but we never bow down to the shillings he keeps in
+ his strong box. You do.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The lists were &ldquo;open&rdquo; now. Mac fought valiantly, the curate helping him
+ once in a while; Lonnegan putting in a word for the several professions as
+ being always exempt&mdash;brains, not money, counting in their case&mdash;Mac
+ winning the first round with:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Not all of us, my dear sir; not by a long shot. When any of our people
+ turn sycophants, it is you English who have coached them. A lord with you
+ is a man who doesn&rsquo;t have to work. So, when any of us come over here to
+ play&mdash;and that&rsquo;s what we generally come for&mdash;everybody, to our
+ surprise, kotows to us, and we acknowledge the attention by giving a
+ shilling to whoever holds out his hand. Now, nobody ever kotows to us at
+ home. We&rsquo;d get suspicious right away if they did and shift our wallets to
+ the other pocket; not that we are not generous, but we don&rsquo;t like that
+ sort of thing. We do here&mdash;that is, some of us do, because it marks
+ the difference in rank, and we all, being kings, are tickled to death that
+ your flunkies recognize that fact the moment they clap eyes on us.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Lonnegan looked at Mac curiously. The dear fellow must be talking through
+ his hat.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Now, I got a sudden shock on the steamer on my way home last fall, and
+ from an <i>American gentleman</i>, too&mdash;one of the best, if he was in
+ tarpaulins&mdash;and I didn&rsquo;t get over it for a week. No kotow about him,
+ I tell you. I wanted a newspaper the worst way, and was the first man to
+ strike the Sandy Hook pilot as he threw his sea-drenched leg over the
+ rail. &lsquo;Got a morning paper?&rsquo; I asked. &lsquo;Yes, in my bag.&rsquo; And he dumped the
+ contents on the deck and handed me a paper. I had been away from home a
+ year, mostly in England, and hadn&rsquo;t seen anybody, from a curator in a
+ museum to the manager of an estate, who wouldn&rsquo;t take a shilling when it
+ was offered him, and so from sheer force of habit I dropped a trade dollar
+ into his hand. You ought to have seen his face. &lsquo;What&rsquo;s this for?&rsquo; he
+ asked. &lsquo;No use to me.&rsquo; And he handed it back. I wanted to go out and kick
+ myself full of holes, I was so ashamed. And, after all, it wasn&rsquo;t my
+ fault. I learned that from you Englishmen.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The toot-toot of an automobile cut short the discussion.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The American millionaire had arrived!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Everybody now started on the run: landlord, two maids in blue dresses with
+ white cap strings flying, three hostlers, two garage men, four dogs, all
+ bowing and scraping&mdash;all except the dogs.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;What did I tell you?&rdquo; laughed Mac, tapping the curate&rsquo;s broad chest with
+ the end of his plump finger. &ldquo;That&rsquo;s the way you all do. With us a porter
+ would help him out, a hotel clerk assign him a room, and that would end
+ it. The next morning the only man to do him reverence would be the waiter
+ behind his chair figuring for the extra tip. Look at them. Same old kotow.
+ No wonder he thinks himself a duke.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The party had disembarked now and were nearing the door of the private
+ entrance, the two women in Mother Hubbard veils, the two men in
+ steamer-caps and goggles&mdash;the valet and maid carrying the coats and
+ parasols. The larger of the two men shed his goggles, changed his
+ steamer-cap for a slouch hat which his valet handed him, and disappeared
+ inside, followed by the landlord. The smaller man, his hands and arms
+ laden with shawls and wraps, gesticulated for an instant as if giving
+ orders to the two chauffeurs, waited until both machines had backed away,
+ and entered the open door.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Who do you think the big man is, Mac?&rdquo; Lonnegan asked.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Don&rsquo;t know, and don&rsquo;t want to know.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Lambert.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;What! Saw Logs?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;The same, and&mdash;yes&mdash;by Jove! That little fellow with the wraps
+ is Tommy.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ A moment later Tommy reappeared and made straight for the barmaid.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Get me some crushed ice and vermouth,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;We carry our Hollands
+ with us. Why, Mr. MacWhirter! and Mr. Lonnegan! and&mdash;&rdquo; (I was the
+ &ldquo;and&rdquo;&mdash;but he seemed to have forgotten my name.) &ldquo;Well, this <i>is</i>
+ a surprise!&rdquo; Neither the mill-owner nor the curate came within range of
+ his eyes.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Where have I been? Well, I&rsquo;ll have to think. We did London for a week&mdash;Savoy
+ for supper&mdash;Prince&rsquo;s for luncheon&mdash;theatre every night&mdash;that
+ sort of thing. Picked up a couple of Gainsboroughs at Agnew&rsquo;s and some
+ tapestries belonging to Lord&mdash;forget his name&mdash;had a letter.&rdquo;
+ (Here Tommy fumbled in his pocket.) &ldquo;No, I remember now, I gave it to Sam.
+ Then we motored to Ravenstock&mdash;looked over the Duke&rsquo;s stables&mdash;spent
+ the night with a very decent chap Sam met in the Rockies last year-son of
+ Lord Wingfall, and&mdash;&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The ice was ready now (it was hived in a keg and hidden in the cellar, and
+ took time to get at), and so was the vermouth and the glasses, all on a
+ tray.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;No, I&rsquo;ll carry it.&rdquo; This to the barmaid, who wanted to call a waiter. &ldquo;I
+ never let anybody attend to this for Sam but myself&rdquo;&mdash;this to us.
+ &ldquo;I&rsquo;ll be back in a minute.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In a few moments he returned, picking up the thread of his discourse with:
+ &ldquo;Where was I? Oh, yes, at Lord Wingfall&rsquo;s son&rsquo;s. Well, that&rsquo;s about all.
+ We are on our way now to spend a few days with&mdash;&rdquo; Here he glanced at
+ the curate and the mill-owner, who were absorbing every word that fell
+ from his lips. &ldquo;Some of the gentry in the next county&mdash;can&rsquo;t think of
+ their names&mdash;friends of Sam.&rdquo; It became evident now that neither Mac
+ nor Lonnegan intended introducing him to either of the Englishmen.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The barmaid pushed a second tray over the counter, and Tommy drew up a
+ chair and waved us into three others. &ldquo;Sam is so helpless, you know,&rdquo; he
+ chatted on. &ldquo;I can&rsquo;t leave him, really, for an hour. Depends on me for
+ everything. Funny, isn&rsquo;t it, that a man worth&mdash;well, anywhere from
+ forty to fifty millions of dollars, and made it all himself&mdash;should
+ be that way? But it&rsquo;s a fact. Very simple man, too, in his tastes, when
+ you know him. Mrs. Lambert and Rosie&rdquo; (Mac stole a look at Lonnegan at the
+ familiar use of the last name, but Tommy flowed on) &ldquo;got tired of the <i>Cynthia</i>&mdash;she&rsquo;s
+ a hundred and ninety feet over all, sixteen knots, and cost a quarter of a
+ million&mdash;and wanted Sam to get something bigger. But the old man held
+ out; wanted to know what I thought of it, and, of course, I had to say she
+ was all right, and that settled it. Just the same way with that new house
+ on the Avenue&mdash;you know it, Mr. Lonnegan&mdash;after he&rsquo;d spent one
+ hundred and fifty thousand dollars decorating the music-room&mdash;that&rsquo;s
+ the one facing the Avenue&mdash;she thought she&rsquo;d change it to
+ Louis-Seize. Of course Sam didn&rsquo;t care for the money, but it was the dirt
+ and plaster and discomfort of it all. By the way, after dinner, suppose
+ you and Mr. Lonnegan, and you, too&rdquo;&mdash;this to me&mdash;&ldquo;come in and
+ have a cigar with Sam. We&rsquo;ve got some good Reina Victorias especially made
+ for him&mdash;glad to have you know him.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Mac gazed out of the open door and shut his teeth tight. Lonnegan looked
+ down into the custard-pie face of the speaker, but made no reply. Tommy
+ laid a coin on the counter, shot out his cuffs, said: &ldquo;See you later,&rdquo; and
+ sauntered out.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ No! There were no buds or blossoms&mdash;nothing of any kind, for that
+ matter&mdash;out of Tommy&rsquo;s reach!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The mill-owner rose to his feet, straightened his square shoulders, made a
+ movement as if to speak, altered his mind, shook Mac&rsquo;s hand warmly, and
+ with a bow to the tap-room, and a special nod to the barmaid, mounted his
+ horse and rode off. The curate looked up and smiled, his gaze riveted on
+ Mac.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;One of your American gentlemen, sir?&rdquo; he asked. The tone was most
+ respectful&mdash;not a trace of sarcasm, not a line visible about the
+ corners of his mouth; only the gray eyes twinkled.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;No,&rdquo; answered Mac grimly; &ldquo;<i>a gentleman&rsquo;s gentleman</i>.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The next morning at sunrise Mac burst into our room roaring with laughter,
+ slapping his pajama-incased knee with his fat hand, the tears streaming
+ from his eyes.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;They&rsquo;ve gone!&rdquo; he cried. &ldquo;Scooted! Saw Logs, Mrs. Saw, the piece of
+ kindling and her maid in the first car, and&mdash;&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He was doubled up like a jack-knife.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;And left Tommy behind!&rdquo; we both cried.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Behind!&rdquo; Mac was verging on apoplexy now. &ldquo;Behind! Not much. He was
+ tucked away in the other car with the valet!&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <div style="height: 6em;">
+ <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
+ </div>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+
+
+
+
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