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+ <head>
+ <title>
+ The Folly of Eustace, by R. S. Hichens
+ </title>
+ <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve">
+
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+ P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; }
+ H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; }
+ hr { width: 50%; text-align: center;}
+ .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; }
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+ .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;}
+ .toc { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;}
+ .toc2 { margin-left: 20%;}
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+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Folly Of Eustace, by Robert S. Hichens
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Folly Of Eustace
+ 1896
+
+Author: Robert S. Hichens
+
+Release Date: November 8, 2007 [EBook #23420]
+Last Updated: December 17, 2016
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: UTF-8
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE FOLLY OF EUSTACE ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+ <div style="height: 8em;">
+ <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
+ </div>
+ <h1>
+ THE FOLLY OF EUSTACE.
+ </h1>
+ <h2>
+ By R. S. Hichens
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ <br />
+ </p>
+ <h3>
+ 1896
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ <br /> <br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /> <br />
+ </p>
+ <h2>
+ Contents
+ </h2>
+ <table summary="" style="margin-right: auto; margin-left: auto">
+ <tr>
+ <td>
+ <p class="toc">
+ <a href="#link2H_4_0001"> I. </a>
+ </p>
+ <p class="toc">
+ <a href="#link2H_4_0002"> II. </a>
+ </p>
+ <p class="toc">
+ <a href="#link2H_4_0003"> III. </a>
+ </p>
+ </td>
+ </tr>
+ </table>
+ <p>
+ <br /> <br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /> <br /> <a name="link2H_4_0001" id="link2H_4_0001">
+ <!-- H2 anchor --> </a>
+ </p>
+ <div style="height: 4em;">
+ <br /><br /><br /><br />
+ </div>
+ <h2>
+ I.
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ Some men deliberately don a character in early youth as others don a mask
+ before going to an opera ball. They select it not without some care, being
+ guided in their choice by the opinion they have formed of the world&rsquo;s mind
+ and manner of proceeding. In the privacy of the dressing-room, the candles
+ being lighted and the mirror adjusted at the best angle for a view of
+ self, they assume their character, and peacock to their reflection,
+ meditating: Does it become me? Will it be generally liked? Will it advance
+ me towards my heart&rsquo;s desire? Then they catch up their cloak, twist the
+ mirror back to its usual position, puff out the candles, and steal forth
+ into their career, shutting the door gently behind them. And, perhaps till
+ they are laid out in the grave, the last four walls enclosing them, only
+ the dressing-room could tell their secret. And it has no voice to speak.
+ For, if they are wise, they do not keep a valet.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ At the age of sixteen Eustace Lane chose his mask, lit the candles, tried
+ it on, and resolved to wear it at the great masquerade. He was an Eton boy
+ at the time. One fourth of June he was out in the playing-fields, paying
+ polite attentions to another fellow&rsquo;s sister, when he overheard a fragment
+ of a conversation that was taking place between his mother and one of the
+ masters. His mother was a kind Englishwoman, who was very short-sighted,
+ and always did her duty. The master was a fool, but as he was tall,
+ handsome, and extremely good-natured, Eustace Lane and most people
+ considered him to be highly intelligent. Eustace caught the sound of his
+ name pronounced. The fond mother, in the course of discreet conversation,
+ had proceeded from the state of the weather to the state of her boy&rsquo;s
+ soul, taking, with the ease of the mediocre, the one step between the
+ sublime and the ridiculous. She had told the master the state of the
+ weather&mdash;which, for once, was sublime; she wanted him, in return, to
+ tell her the state of her boy&rsquo;s soul&mdash;which was ridiculous.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Eustace forgot the other fellow&rsquo;s sister, her limpid eyes, her open-worked
+ stockings, her panoply of chiffons and of charms. He had heard his own
+ name. Bang went the door on the rest of the world, shutting out even
+ feminine humanity. Self-consciousness held him listening. His mother said:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Dear Eustace! What do you think of him, Mr. Bembridge? Is he <i>really</i>
+ clever? His father and I consider him unusually intelligent for his age&mdash;so
+ advanced in mind. He judges for himself, you know. He always did, even as
+ a baby. I remember when he was quite a tiny mite I could always trust to
+ his perceptions. In my choice of nurses I was invariably guided by him. If
+ he screamed at them I felt that there was something wrong, and dismissed
+ them&mdash;of course with a character. If he smiled at them, I knew I
+ could have confidence in their virtue. How strange these things are! What
+ is it in us that screams at evil and smiles at good?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Ah! what, indeed?&rdquo; replied the master, accepting her conclusion as an
+ established and very beautiful fact. &ldquo;There is more in the human heart
+ than you and I can fathom, Mrs. Lane.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Yes, indeed! But tell me about Eustace. You have observed him?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Carefully. He is a strange boy.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Strange?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Whimsical, I mean. How clever he may be I am unable to say. He is so
+ young, and, of course, undeveloped. But he is an original. Even if he
+ never displays great talents the world will talk about him.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Why?&rdquo; asked Mrs. Lane in some alarm.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To be talked about was, she considered, to be the prey of scandalmongers.
+ She did not wish to give her darling to the lions.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;I mean that Eustace has a strain of quaint fun in him&mdash;a sort of
+ passion for the burlesque of life. You do not often find this in boys. It
+ is new to my experience. He sees the peculiar side of everything with a
+ curious acuteness. Life presents itself to him in caricature. I&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;
+ Well hit! Well hit indeed!&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Someone had scored a four.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The other fellow&rsquo;s sister insisted on moving to a place whence they could
+ see the cricket better, and Eustace had to yield to her. But from that
+ moment he took no more interest in her artless remarks and her artful
+ open-worked stockings. In the combat between self and her she went to the
+ wall. He stood up before the mirror looking steadfastly at his own image.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And, finding it not quite so interestingly curious as the fool of a master
+ had declared it to be, he lit some more candies, selected a mask, and put
+ it on.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He chose the mask of a buffoon.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ From that day Eustace strove consistently to live up to the reputation
+ given to him by a fool, who had been talking at random to please an avid
+ mother. Mr. Bembridge knew that the boy was no good at work, wanted to say
+ something nice about him, and had once noticed him playing some absurd but
+ very ordinary boyish prank. On this supposed hint of character the master
+ spoke. Mrs. Lane listened. Eustace acted. A sudden ambition stirred within
+ him. To be known, talked about, considered, perhaps even wondered at&mdash;was
+ not that a glory? Such a glory came to the greatly talented&mdash;to the
+ mightily industrious. Men earned it by labour, by intensity, insensibility
+ to fatigue, the &ldquo;roughing it&rdquo; of the mind. He did not want to rough it.
+ Nor was he greatly talented. But he was just sharp enough to see, as he
+ believed, a short and perhaps easy way to a thing that his conceit desired
+ and that his egoism felt it could love. Being only a boy, he had never,
+ till this time, deliberately looked on life as anything. Now he set
+ himself, in his, at first, youthful way, to look on it as burlesque&mdash;to
+ see it in caricature. How to do that? He studied the cartoons in <i>Vanity
+ Fair</i>, the wondrous noses, the astounding trousers, that delight the
+ cynical world. Were men indeed like these? Did they assume such postures,
+ stare with such eyes, revel in such complexions? These were the
+ celebrities of the time. They all looked with one accord preposterous.
+ Eustace jumped to the conclusion that they were what they looked, and,
+ going a step farther, that they were celebrated because they were
+ preposterous. Gifted with a certain amount of imagination, this idea of
+ the interest, almost the beauty of the preposterous, took a firm hold of
+ his mind. One day he, too, would be in <i>Vanity Fair</i>, displaying
+ terrific boots, amazing thin legs, a fatuous or a frenetic countenance to
+ the great world of the unknown. He would stand out from the multitude if
+ only by virtue of an unusual eyeglass, a particular glove, the fashion of
+ his tie or of his temper. He would balance on the ball of peculiarity, and
+ toe his way up the spiral of fame, while the music-hall audience applauded
+ and the managers consulted as to the increase of his salary. Mr. Bembridge
+ had shown him a weapon with which he might fight his way quickly to the
+ front. He picked it up and resolved to use it. Soon he began to slash out
+ right and left. His blade chanced to encounter the outraged body of an
+ elderly and sardonic master. Eustace was advised that he had better leave
+ Eton. His father came down by train and took him away.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ As they journeyed up to town, Mr. Lane lectured and exhorted, and Eustace
+ looked out of the window. Already he felt himself near to being a
+ celebrity. He had astonished Eton. That was a good beginning. Papa might
+ prose, knowing, of course, nothing of the poetry of caricature, of the
+ wild joys and the laurels that crown the whimsical. So while Mr. Lane
+ hunted adjectives, and ran sad-sounding and damnatory substantives to
+ earth, Eustace hugged himself, and secretly chuckled over his pilgrim&rsquo;s
+ progress towards the pages of <i>Vanity Fair</i>.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Eustace! Eustace! Are you listening to me?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Yes, father.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Then what have you to say? What explanation have you to offer for your
+ conduct? You have behaved like a buffoon, sir&mdash;d&rsquo;you hear me?&mdash;like
+ a buffoon!&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Yes, father.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;What the deuce do you mean by &lsquo;yes,&rsquo; sir?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Eustace considered, while Mr. Lane puffed in the approved paternal fashion
+ What did he mean? A sudden thought struck him. He became confidential.
+ With an earnest gaze, he said:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;I couldn&rsquo;t help doing what I did. I want to be like the other fellows,
+ but somehow I can&rsquo;t. Something inside of me won&rsquo;t let me just go on as
+ they do. I don&rsquo;t know why it is, but I feel as if I must do original
+ things&mdash;things other people never do; it&mdash;it seems in me.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Mr. Lane regarded him suspiciously, but Eustace had clear eyes, and knew,
+ at least, how to look innocent.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;We shall have to knock it out of you,&rdquo; blustered the father.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;I wish you could, father,&rdquo; the boy said. &ldquo;I know I hate it.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Mr. Lane began to be really puzzled. There was something pathetic in the
+ words, and especially in the way they were spoken. He stared at Eustace
+ meditatively.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;So you hate it, do you?&rdquo; he said rather limply at last. &ldquo;Well, that&rsquo;s a
+ step in the right direction, at any rate. Perhaps things might have been
+ worse.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Eustace did not assent.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;They were bad enough,&rdquo; he said, with a simulation of shame. &ldquo;I know I&rsquo;ve
+ been a fool.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Well, well,&rdquo; Mr. Lane said, whirling, as paternal weathercocks will, to
+ another point of the compass, &ldquo;never mind, my boy. Cheer up! You see your
+ fault&mdash;that&rsquo;s the main thing. What&rsquo;s done can&rsquo;t be undone.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;No, thank heaven!&rdquo; thought the boy, feeling almost great.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ How delicious is the irrevocable past&mdash;sometimes!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Be more careful in future. Don&rsquo;t let your boyish desire for follies carry
+ you away.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;I shall,&rdquo; was his son&rsquo;s mental rejoinder.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;And I dare say you&rsquo;ll do good work in the world yet.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The train ran into Paddington Station on this sublime climax of
+ fatherhood, and the further words of wisdom were jerked out of Mr. Lane
+ during their passage to Carlton House Terrace in a four-wheeled cab.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;What an extraordinary person Mr. Eustace Lane is!&rdquo; said Winifred Ames to
+ her particular friend and happy foil, Jane Fraser. &ldquo;All London is
+ beginning to talk about him. I suppose he must be clever?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Oh, of course, darling, very clever; otherwise, how could he possibly
+ gain so much notice? Just think&mdash;why, there are millions of people in
+ London, and I&rsquo;m sure only about a thousand of them, at most, attract any
+ real attention. I think Mr. Eustace Lane is a genius.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Do you really, Jenny?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;I do indeed.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Winifred mused for a moment. Then she said:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;It must be very interesting to marry a genius, I suppose?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Oh, enthralling, simply. And, then, so few people can do it.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Yes.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;And it must be grand to do what hardly anybody can do.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;In the way of marrying, Jenny?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;In any way,&rdquo; responded Miss Fraser, who was an enthusiast, and habitually
+ sentimental. &ldquo;What would I give to do even one unique thing, or to marry
+ even one unique person!&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;You couldn&rsquo;t marry two at the same time&mdash;in England.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;England limits itself so terribly; but there is a broader time coming.
+ Those who see it, and act upon what they see, are pioneers; Mr. Lane is a
+ pioneer.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;But don&rsquo;t you think him rather extravagant?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Oh yes. That is so splendid. I love the extravagance of genius, the
+ barbaric lavishness of moral and intellectual supremacy.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;I wonder whether the supremacy of Eustace Lane is moral, or intellectual,
+ or&mdash;neither?&rdquo; said Winifred. &ldquo;There are so many different
+ supremacies, aren&rsquo;t there? I suppose a man might be supreme merely as a&mdash;as
+ a&mdash;well, an absurdity, you know.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Jenny smiled the watery smile of the sentimentalist; a glass of still
+ lemonade washed with limelight might resemble it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Eustace Lane likes you, Winnie,&rdquo; she remarked.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;I know; that is why I am wondering about him. One does wonder, you see,
+ about the man one may possibly be going to marry.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ There had never been such a man for Jane Fraser, so she said nothing, but
+ succeeded in looking confidential.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Presently Winifred allowed her happy foil to lace her up. She was going to
+ a ball given by the Lanes in Carlton House Terrace.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Perhaps he will propose to you to-night,&rdquo; whispered Jane in a gush of
+ excitement as the two girls walked down the stairs to the carriage. &ldquo;If he
+ does, what will you say?&rdquo;.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;I don&rsquo;t know.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Oh, darling, but surely&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Eustace is so odd. I can&rsquo;t make him out.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;That is because he is a genius.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;He is certainly remarkable&mdash;in a way. Good-night, dear.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The carriage drove off, and the happy foil joined her maid, who was
+ waiting to conduct her home. On the way they gossipped, and the maid
+ expressed a belief that Mr. Lane was a fine young gentleman, but full of
+ his goings-on.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Jane knew what she meant. Eustace had once kissed her publicly in Jane&rsquo;s
+ presence, which deed the latter considered a stroke of genius, and the act
+ of a true and courageous pioneer.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Eustace was now just twenty-two, and he had already partially succeeded in
+ his ambition. His mask had deceived his world, and Mr. Bembridge&rsquo;s
+ prophecy about him was beginning to be fulfilled. He had done nothing
+ specially intellectual or athletic, was not particularly active either
+ with limbs or brain; but people had begun to notice and to talk about him,
+ to discuss him with a certain interest, even with a certain wonder. The
+ newspapers occasionally mentioned him as a dandy, a fop, a whimsical,
+ irresponsible creature, yet one whose vagaries were not entirely without
+ interest. He had performed some extravagant antic in a cotillon, or worn
+ some extraordinary coat. He had invented a new way of walking one season,
+ and during another season, although in perfect health, he had never left
+ the house, declaring that movement of any kind was ungentlemanly and
+ ridiculous, and that an imitation of harem life was the uttermost bliss
+ obtainable in London. His windows in Carlton House Terrace had been
+ latticed, and when his friends came there to see him they found him lying,
+ supported by cushions, on a prayer-carpet, eating Eastern sweetmeats from
+ a silver box.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ But he soon began to tire of this deliberate imprisonment, and to reduce
+ buffoonery to a modern science. His father was a rich man, and he was an
+ only child. Therefore he was able to gratify the supposed whims, which
+ were no whims at all. He could get up surprise parties, which really bored
+ him, carry out elaborate practical jokes, give extraordinary
+ entertainments at will. For his parents acquiesced in his absurdities,
+ were even rather proud of them, thinking that he followed his
+ Will-o&rsquo;-the-wisp of a fancy because he was not less, but more, than other
+ young men. In fact, they supposed he must be a genius because he was
+ erratic. Many people are of the same opinion, and declare that a goose
+ standing on its head must be a swan. By degrees Eustace Lane&rsquo;s practical
+ jokes became a common topic of conversation in London, and smart circles
+ were in a perpetual state of mild excitement as to what he would do next.
+ It was said that he had put the latchkey of a Duchess down the back of a
+ Commander-in-Chief; that he had once, in a country house, prepared an
+ apple-pie bed for an Heir-apparent, and that he had declared he would
+ journey to Rome next Easter in order to present a collection of penny toys
+ to the Pope. Society loves folly if it is sufficiently blatant. The folly
+ of Eustace was just blatant enough to be more than tolerated&mdash;enjoyed.
+ He had by practice acquired a knack of being silly in unexpected ways, and
+ so a great many people honestly considered him one of the cleverest young
+ men in town.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ But, you know, it is the proper thing, if you wear a mask, to have a sad
+ face behind it. Eustace sometimes felt sad, and sometimes fatigued. He had
+ worked a little to make his reputation, but it was often hard labour to
+ live up to it. His profession of a buffoon sometimes exhausted him, but he
+ could no longer dare to be like others. The self-conscious live to gratify
+ the changing expectations of their world, and Eustace had educated himself
+ into a self-consciousness that was almost a disease.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And, then, there was his place in the pages of <i>Vanity Fair</i> to be
+ won. He put that in front of him as his aim in life, and became daily more
+ and more whimsical.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Nevertheless, he did one prosaic thing. He fell in love with Winifred
+ Ames, and could not help showing it. As the malady increased upon him his
+ reputation began to suffer eclipse, for he relapsed into sentiment, and
+ even allowed his eyes to grow large and lover-like. He ceased to worry
+ people, and so began to bore them&mdash;a much more dangerous thing. For a
+ moment he even ran the fearful risk of becoming wholly natural, dropping
+ his mask, and showing himself as he really was, a rather dull, quite
+ normal young man, with the usual notions about the usual things, the usual
+ bias towards the usual vices, the usual disinclination to do the usual
+ duties of life.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He ran a risk, but Winifred saved him, and restored him to his fantasies
+ this evening of the ball in Carlton House Terrace.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It was an ordinary ball, and therefore Eustace appeared to receive his
+ guests in fancy dress, wearing a powdered wig and a George IV. Court
+ costume. This absurdity was a mechanical attempt to retrieve his buffoon&rsquo;s
+ reputation, for he was really very much in love, and very serious in his
+ desire to be married in quite the ordinary way. With a rather lack-lustre
+ eye he noticed the amusement of his friends at his last vagary; but when
+ Winifred Ames entered the ballroom a nervous vivacity shook him, as it has
+ shaken ploughmen under similar conditions, and for just a moment he felt
+ ill at ease in the lonely lunacy of his flowered waistcoat and olive-green
+ knee-breeches. He danced with her, then took her to a scarlet nook,
+ apparently devised to hold only one person, but into which they gently
+ squeezed, not without difficulty.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ She gazed at him with her big brown eyes, that were at the same time
+ honest and fanciful. Then she said:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;You have taken an unfair advantage of us all to-night, Mr. Lane.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Havel? How?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;By retreating into the picturesque clothes of another age. All the men
+ here must hate you.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;No; they only laugh at me.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ She was silent a moment. Then she said:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;What is it in you that makes you enjoy that which the rest of us are
+ afraid of?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;And that is&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Being laughed at. Laughter, you know, is the great world&rsquo;s
+ cat-o&rsquo;-nine-tails. We fear it as little boys fear the birch on a winter&rsquo;s
+ morning at school.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Eustace smiled uneasily.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Do you laugh at me?&rdquo; he asked.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;I have. You surely don&rsquo;t mind.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;No,&rdquo; he said, with an effort. Then: &ldquo;Are you laughing to-night?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;No. You have done an absurd thing, of course, but it happens to be
+ becoming. You look&mdash;well, pretty&mdash;yes, that&rsquo;s the word&mdash;in
+ your wig. Many men are ugly in their own hair. And, after all, what would
+ life be without its absurdities? Probably you are right to enjoy being
+ laughed at.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Eustace, who had seriously meditated putting off his mask forever that
+ night, began to change his mind. The sentence, &ldquo;Many men are ugly in their
+ own hair,&rdquo; dwelt with him, and he felt fortified in his powdered wig. What
+ if he took it off, and henceforth Winifred found him ugly? Does not the
+ safety of many of us lie merely in dressing up? Do we not buy our fate at
+ the costumier&rsquo;s?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Just tell me one thing,&rdquo; Winifred went on. &ldquo;Are you natural?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Natural?&rdquo; he hesitated.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Yes; I think you must be. You&rsquo;ve got a whimsical nature.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;I suppose so.&rdquo; He thought of his journey with his father years ago, and
+ added: &ldquo;I wish I hadn&rsquo;t.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Why? There is a charm in the fantastic, although comparatively few people
+ see it. Life must be a sort of Arabian Nights Entertainment to you.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Sometimes. To-night it is different. It seems a sort of Longfellow life.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;What&rsquo;s that?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Real and earnest.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And then he proposed to her, with a laugh, to shoot an arrow at the dead
+ poet and his own secret psalm.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And Winifred accepted him, partly because she thought him really strange,
+ partly because he seemed so pretty in his wig, which she chose to believe
+ his own hair.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ They were married, and on the wedding-day the bridegroom astonished his
+ guests by making a burlesque speech at the reception.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In anyone else such an exhibition would have been considered the worst
+ taste, but nobody was disgusted, and many were delighted. They had begun
+ to fear that Eustace was getting humdrum. This harlequinade after the
+ pantomime at the church&mdash;for what is a modern smart wedding but a
+ second-rate pantomime?&mdash;put them into a good humour, and made them
+ feel that, after all, they had got something for their presents. And so
+ the happy pair passed through a dreary rain of rice to the mysteries of
+ that Bluebeard&rsquo;s Chamber, the honeymoon.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ <a name="link2H_4_0002" id="link2H_4_0002">
+ <!-- H2 anchor --> </a>
+ </p>
+ <div style="height: 4em;">
+ <br /><br /><br /><br />
+ </div>
+ <h2>
+ II.
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ Winifred anticipated this honeymoon with calmness, but Eustace was too
+ much in love to be calm. He was, on the contrary, in a high state of
+ excitement, and of emotion, and the effort of making his ridiculous speech
+ had nearly sent him into hysterics. But he had now fully resolved to
+ continue in his whimsical course, and to play for ever the part of a
+ highly erratic genius, driven hither and thither by the weird impulses of
+ the moment. That he never had any impulses but such as were common to most
+ ordinary young men was a sad fact which he meant to most carefully conceal
+ from Winifred. He had made up his mind that she believed his mask to be
+ his face. She had, therefore, married the mask. To divorce her violently
+ from it might be fatal to their happiness. If he showed the countenance
+ God had given him, she might cry: &ldquo;I don&rsquo;t know you. You are a stranger.
+ You are like all the other men I didn&rsquo;t choose to marry.&rdquo; His blood ran
+ cold at the thought. No, he must keep it up. She loved his fantasies
+ because she believed them natural to him. She must never suspect that they
+ were not natural. So, as they travelled, he planned the campaign of
+ married life, as doubtless others, strange in their new bondage, have
+ planned. He gazed at Winifred, and thought, &ldquo;What is her notion of the
+ ideal husband, I wonder?&rdquo; She gazed at him, and mused on his affection and
+ his whimsicality, and what the two would lead to in connection with her
+ fate. And the old, scarlet-faced guard smiled fatuously at them both
+ through the window on which glared a prominent &ldquo;Engaged&rdquo; as he had smiled
+ on many another pair of fools&mdash;so he silently dubbed them. Then they
+ entered Bluebeard&rsquo;s Chamber and closed the door behind them.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Brighton was their destination. They meant to lose themselves in a marine
+ crowd.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ They stayed there for a fortnight, and then returned to town, Eustace more
+ in love than ever.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ But Winifred?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ One afternoon she sat in the drawing-room of the pretty little house they
+ had taken in Deanery Street, Park Lane. She was thinking, very definitely.
+ The silent processes of even an ordinary woman&rsquo;s mind&mdash;what great
+ male writer would not give two years of his life to sit with them and
+ watch them, as the poet watches the flight of a swallow, or the astronomer
+ the processions of the sky? A curious gale was raging through the town,
+ touzling its thatch of chimney-pots, doing violence to the demureness of
+ its respectable streets. Night was falling, and in Piccadilly those
+ strange, gay hats that greet the darkness were coming out like eager,
+ vulgar comets in a dim and muttering firmament. It was just the moment
+ when the outside mood of the huge city begins to undergo a change, to
+ glide from its comparative simplicity of afternoon into its leering
+ complexity of evening. Each twenty-four hours London has its moment of
+ emancipation, its moment in which the wicked begin to breathe and the good
+ to wonder, when &ldquo;How?&rdquo; and &ldquo;Why?&rdquo; are on the lips of the opposing
+ factions, and only the philosophers who know&mdash;or think they know&mdash;their
+ human nature hold themselves still, and feel that man is at the least
+ ceaselessly interesting.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Winifred sat by the fire and held a council. She called her thoughts
+ together and gave audience to her suspicions, and her brown eyes were wide
+ and rather mournful as her counsellors uttered each a word of hope or of
+ warning.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Eustace was out. He had gone to a concert, and had not returned.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ She was holding a council to decide something in reference to him.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The honeymoon weeks had brought her just as far as the question, &ldquo;Do I
+ know my husband at all, or is he, so far, a total stranger?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Some people seem to draw near to you as you look at them steadily, others
+ to recede until they reach the verge of invisibility. Which was Eustace
+ doing? Did his outline become clearer or more blurred? Was he daily more
+ definite or more phantasmal? And the members of her council drew near and
+ whispered their opinions in Winifred&rsquo;s attentive ears. They were not all
+ in accord at the first. Pros fought with cons, elbowed them, were hustled
+ in return. Sometimes there was almost a row, and she had to stretch forth
+ her hands and hush the tumult. For she desired a calm conclave, although
+ she was a woman.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And the final decision&mdash;if, indeed, it could be arrived at that
+ evening&mdash;was important. Love seemed to hang upon it, and all the
+ sweets of life; and the little wings of Love fluttered anxiously, as the
+ little wings of a bird flutter when you hold it in the cage of your hands,
+ prisoning it from its wayward career through the blue shadows of the
+ summer.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ For love is not always and for ever instinctive&mdash;not even the finest
+ love. While many women love because they must, whether the thing to be
+ loved or not loved be carrion or crystal, a child of the gods or an imp of
+ the devil, others love decisively because they see&mdash;perhaps can even
+ analyze&mdash;a beauty that is there in the thing before them. One woman
+ loves a man simply because he kisses her. Another loves him because he has
+ won the Victoria Cross.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Winifred was not of the women who love because they are kissed.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ She had accepted Eustace rather impulsively, but she had not married him
+ quite uncritically. There was something new, different from other men,
+ about him which attracted her, as well as his good looks&mdash;that
+ prettiness which had peeped out from the white wig in the scarlet nook at
+ the ball. His oddities at that time she had grown thoroughly to believe
+ in, and, believing in them, she felt she liked them. She supposed them to
+ spring, rather like amazing spotted orchids, from the earth of a quaint
+ nature. Now, after a honeymoon spent among the orchids, she held this
+ council while the wind blew London into a mood of evening irritation.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ What was Eustace?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ How the wind sang over Park Lane! Yet the stars were coming out.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ What was he? A genius or a clown? A creature to spread a buttered slide or
+ a man to climb to heaven? A fine, free child of Nature, who did, freshly,
+ what he would, regardless of the strained discretion of others, or a
+ futile, scheming hypocrite, screaming after forced puerilities, without
+ even a finger on the skirts of originality?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It was a problem for lonely woman&rsquo;s debate. Winifred strove to weigh it
+ well. In Bluebeard&rsquo;s Chamber Eustace had cut many capers. This activity
+ she had expected&mdash;had even wished for. And at first she had been
+ amused and entertained by the antics, as one assisting at a good
+ burlesque, through which, moreover, a piquant love theme runs. But by
+ degrees she began to feel a certain stiffness in the capers, a
+ self-consciousness in the antics, or fancied she began to feel it, and
+ instead of being always amused she became often thoughtful.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Whimsicality she loved. Buffoonery she possibly, even probably, could
+ learn to hate.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Of Eustace&rsquo;s love for her she had no doubt. She was certain of his
+ affection. But was it worth having? That depended, surely, on the nature
+ of the man in whom it sprang, from whom it flowed. She wanted to be sure
+ of that nature; but she acknowledged to herself, as she sat by the fire,
+ that she was perplexed. Perhaps even that perplexity was merciful. Yet she
+ wished to sweep it away. She knit her brows moodily, and longed for a
+ secret divining-rod that would twist to reveal truth in another. For
+ truth, she thought, is better than hidden water-springs, and a sincerity&mdash;even
+ of stupidity&mdash;more lovely than the fountain that gives flowers to the
+ desert, wild red roses to the weary gold of sands.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The wind roared again, howling to poor, shuddering Mayfair, and there came
+ a step outside. Eustace sprang in upon Winifred&rsquo;s council, looking like a
+ gay schoolboy, his cheeks flushed, his lips open to speak.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Dreaming?&rdquo; he said.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ She smiled.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Perhaps.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;That concert paralyzed me. Too much Beethoven. I wanted Wagner. Beethoven
+ insists on exalting you, but Wagner lets you revel and feel naughty.
+ Winnie, d&rsquo;you hear the wind?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Could I help it?&rdquo; she asked.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Does it suggest something to you?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He looked at her, and made his expression mischievous, or meant to make
+ it. She looked up at him, too.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Yes, many things,&rdquo; she said&mdash;&ldquo;many, many things.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;To me it suggests kites.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Kites?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Yes. I&rsquo;m going to fly one now in the Park. The stars are out. Put on your
+ hat and come with me.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He seemed all impulse, sparkling to the novelty of the idea.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Well, but&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo; She hesitated.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;I&rsquo;ve got one&mdash;a beauty, a monster! I noticed the wind was getting up
+ yesterday. Come!&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He pulled at her hand; she obeyed him, not quickly. She put on her hat, a
+ plain straw, a thick jacket, gloves. Kite-flying in London seemed an odd
+ notion. Was it lively and entertaining, or merely silly? Which ought it to
+ be?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Eustace shouted to her from the tiny hall.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Hurry!&rdquo; he cried.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The wind yelled beyond the door, and Winifred ran down, beginning to feel
+ a childish thrill of excitement. Eustace held the kite. It was, indeed, a
+ white monster, gaily decorated with fluttering scarlet and blue ribbons.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;We shall be mobbed,&rdquo; she said.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;There&rsquo;s no one about,&rdquo; he answered. &ldquo;The gale frightens people.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He opened the door, and they were out in the crying tempest. The great
+ clouds flew along the sky like an army in retreat. Some, to Winifred,
+ seemed soldiers, others baggage-waggons, horses, gun-carriages, rushing
+ pell-mell for safety. One drooping, tattered cloud she deemed the colours
+ of a regiment streaming under the stars that peeped out here and there&mdash;watching
+ sentinel eyes, obdurate, till some magic password softened them.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ As they crossed the road she spoke of her cloud army to Eustace.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;This kite&rsquo;s like a live thing,&rdquo; was his reply. &ldquo;It tugs as a fish tugs a
+ line.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He did not care for the tumult of a far-off world.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ They entered the Park. It seemed, indeed, strangely deserted. A swaggering
+ soldier passed them by, going towards the Marble Arch. His spurs clinked;
+ his long cloak gleamed like a huge pink carnation in the dingy dimness of
+ the startled night. How he stared with his unintelligent, though bold,
+ eyes as he saw the kite bounding to be free.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Eustace seemed delighted.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;That man thinks us mad!&rdquo; he said.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Are we mad?&rdquo; Winifred asked, surprised at her own strange enjoyment of
+ the adventure.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Who knows?&rdquo; said Eustace, looking at her narrowly. &ldquo;You like this
+ escapade?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; she answered.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;My mask!&rdquo; he thought, secretly longing to be quietly by the fire sipping
+ tea and reading <i>Punch</i>. &ldquo;She loves that.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ They were through the trees now, across the broad path, out on the open
+ lawns.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Now for it!&rdquo; he shouted, as the wind roared in their faces.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He paid out the coils of the thin cord. The white monster skimmed,
+ struggled near the ground, returned, darted again upward and outward, felt
+ for the wind&rsquo;s hands, caught them and sprang, with a mad courage,
+ star-wards, its gay ribbons flying like coloured birds to mark its course.
+ But soon they were lost to sight, and only a diminished, ghost-like shadow
+ leaping against the black showed where the kite beat on to liberty.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Eustace ran with the wind, and Winifred followed him. The motion sent an
+ exultation dancing through her veins, and stirred her blood into a
+ ferment. The noises in the trees, the galloping music of the airs on their
+ headlong courses, rang in her ears like clashing bells. She called as she
+ ran, but never knew what words. She leaped, as if over glorious obstacles.
+ Her feet danced on the short grass. She had a sudden notion: &ldquo;I am living
+ now!&rdquo; and Eustace had never seemed so near to her. He had an art to find
+ why children are happy, she thought, because they do little strange
+ things, coupling mechanical movements, obvious actions that may seem
+ absurd, with soft flights of the imagination, that wrap their prancings
+ and their leaps in golden robes, and give to the dull world a glory. The
+ hoop is their demon enemy, whom they drive before them to destruction. The
+ kite is a great white bird, whom they hold back for a time from heaven.
+ Suddenly Winifred longed to feel the bird&rsquo;s efforts to be free.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Let me have it!&rdquo; she cried to Eustace, holding out her hands eagerly. &ldquo;Do
+ let me!&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He was glad to pass the cord to her, being utterly tired of a prank which
+ he thought idiotic, and he could not understand the light that sprang into
+ her eyes as she grasped it, and felt the life of the lifeless thing that
+ soared towards the clouds.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ For the moment it was more to her&mdash;this tugging, scarce visible,
+ white thing&mdash;than all the world of souls. It gave to her the
+ excitement of battle, the joy of strife. She felt herself a Napoleon with
+ empires in her hand; a Diana holding eternities, instead of hounds, in
+ leash. She had quite the children&rsquo;s idea of kites, the sense of being in
+ touch with the infinite that enters into baby pleasures, and makes the
+ remembrance of them live in us when we are old, and have forgotten wild
+ passions, strange fruitions, that have followed them and faded away for
+ ever.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ How the creature tore at her! She fancied she felt the pulsings of its
+ fly-away heart, beating with energy and great hopes of freedom. And
+ suddenly, with a call, she opened her hands. Her captive was lost in the
+ night.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In a moment she felt sad, such a foolish sorrow, as a gaoler may feel sad
+ who has grown to love his prisoner, and sees him smile when the gaping
+ door gives him again to crime.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;It&rsquo;s gone,&rdquo; she said to Eustace; &ldquo;I think it&rsquo;s glad to go.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Glad&mdash;a kite!&rdquo; he said.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And it struck her that he would have thought it equally sensible if she
+ had spoken, like Hans Andersen, of the tragedies of a toy-shop or the
+ Homeric passions of wooden dolls.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Then, why had he been prompted by the wind to play the boy if he had none
+ of the boy&rsquo;s ardent imagination?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ They reached Deanery Street, and passed in from the night and the
+ elements. Eustace shut the door with a sigh of relief. Winifred&rsquo;s echoing
+ sigh was of regret.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It seemed a listless world&mdash;the world inside a lighted London house,
+ dominated by a pale butler with black side-whiskers and endless
+ discretion. But Eustace did not feel it so. Winifred knew that beyond hope
+ of doubt as she stole a glance at his face. He had put off the child&mdash;the
+ buffoon&mdash;and looked for the moment a grave, dull young man, naturally
+ at ease with all the conventions. She could not help saying to herself, as
+ she went to her room to live with hairpins and her lady&rsquo;s-maid: &ldquo;I believe
+ he hated it all!&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ From that night of kite-flying Winifred felt differently towards her
+ husband. She was of the comparatively rare women who hate pretence even in
+ another woman, but especially in a man. The really eccentric she was not
+ afraid of&mdash;could even love, being a searcher after the new and
+ strange, like so many modern pilgrims. But pinchbeck eccentricity&mdash;Brummagem
+ originalities&mdash;gave to her views of the poverty of poor human nature
+ leading her to a depression not un-tinged with contempt.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And the fantasies of Eustace became more violent and more continuous as he
+ began to note the lassitude which gradually crept into her intercourse
+ with him. London rang with them. At one time he pretended to a strange
+ passion for death; prayed to a skull which grinned in a shrine raised for
+ it in his dressing-room; lay down each day in a coffin, and asked Winifred
+ to close it and scatter earth upon the lid, that he might realize the end
+ towards which we journey. He talked of silence, long and loudly&mdash;an
+ irony which Winifred duly noted&mdash;sneered at the fleeting phantoms in
+ the show of existence, called the sobbing of women, the laughter of men,
+ sounds as arid as the whizz of a cracker let off by a child on the fifth
+ of November.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;We should kill our feelings,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;They make us absurd. Life should
+ be a breathing calm, as death is a breathless calm.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The calm descending upon Winifred was of the benumbing order.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Later he recoiled from this coquetting with the destroyer.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;After all,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;which of us does not feel himself eternal, exempt
+ from the penalty of the race? You don&rsquo;t believe that you will ever die,
+ Winifred?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;I know it,&rdquo; she said.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Yes, but you don&rsquo;t believe it.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;You think knowledge less real than belief? Perhaps it is. But I, at
+ least, hope that some day I shall die. To live on here for ever would be
+ like staying eternally at a party. After all, when one has danced, and
+ supped, and flirted, and wondered at the gowns, and praised the flowers,
+ and touched the hand of one&rsquo;s hostess, and swung round in a final gallop,
+ and said how much one has enjoyed it all&mdash;one wants to go home.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Does one?&rdquo; Eustace said. &ldquo;Home you call it!&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He shuddered.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;I call it what I want it to be, what I think it may be, what the poor and
+ the weary and the fallen make it in their lonely thoughts. Let us, at
+ least, hope that we travel towards the east, where the sun is.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;You have strange fancies,&rdquo; he said.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;I! Not so strange as yours.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ She looked at him in the eyes as she spoke. He wondered what that look
+ meant. It seemed to him a menace.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;I must keep it up&mdash;I must keep it up,&rdquo; he murmured to himself as he
+ left the room. &ldquo;Winifred loves fancies&mdash;loves me for what she thinks
+ mine.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He went to his library, and sat down heavily, to devise fresh outrages on
+ the ordinary.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ His pranks became innumerable, and Society called him the most original
+ figure of London. The papers quoted him&mdash;his doings, not his sayings.
+ People pointed him out in the Park. His celebrity waxed. Even the Marble
+ Arch seemed turning to gaze after him as he went by, showing the
+ observation which the imaginative think into inanimate things.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ At least, so a wag declared.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And Winifred bore it, but with an increasing impatience.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ At this time, too, a strange need of protection crept over her, the
+ yearning for man&rsquo;s beautiful, dog-like sympathy that watches woman in her
+ grand dark hour before she blooms into motherhood. When she knew the
+ truth, she resolved to tell Eustace, and she came into his room softly,
+ with shining eyes. He was sitting reading the Financial News in a nimbus
+ of cigarette smoke, secretly glorying in his momentary immunity from the
+ prison rules of the fantastic. Winifred&rsquo;s entry was as that of a warder.
+ He sprang up laughing.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Winnie,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;I think I am going to South Africa.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;You!&rdquo; she said in surprise.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Yes; to give acrobatic performances in the street, and so pave the way to
+ a position as a millionaire. Who ever heard of a man rising from a
+ respectable competence to a fortune? According to the papers, you must
+ start with nothing; that is the first rule of the game. We have ten
+ thousand a year, so we can never hope to be rich. Fortune only favours the
+ pauper. I am mad about money to-day. I can think of nothing else.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And he began showing her conjuring tricks with sovereigns which he drew
+ from his pockets.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ She did not tell him that day. And when she told him, it was without
+ apparent emotion. She seemed merely stating coldly a physical fact, not
+ breathing out a beautiful secret of her soul and his, a consecrated wonder
+ to shake them both, and bind them together as two flowers are bound in the
+ centre of a bouquet, the envy of the other flowers.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Eustace,&rdquo; she said, and her eyes were clear and her hands were still, &ldquo;I
+ think I ought to tell you&mdash;we shall have a child.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Her voice was unwavering as a doctor&rsquo;s which pronounces, &ldquo;You have the
+ influenza.&rdquo; She stood there before him.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Winifred!&rdquo; he cried, looking up. His impulse was to say, &ldquo;Wife! My
+ Winifred!&rdquo; to take her in his arms as any clerk might take his little
+ middle-class spouse, to kiss her lips, and, in doing it, fancy he drew
+ near to the prison in which every soul eternally dwells on earth. Finely
+ human he felt, as the dullest, the most unknown, the plainest, the most
+ despised, may feel, thank God! &ldquo;Winifred!&rdquo; he cried. And then he stopped,
+ with the shooting thought, &ldquo;Even now I must be what she thinks me, what
+ she perhaps loves me for.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ She stood there silently waiting.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Toys!&rdquo; he exclaimed. &ldquo;Toys have always been my besetting sin. Now I will
+ make a grand collection, not for the Pope, as people pretend, but for our
+ family. You will have two children to laugh at, Winnie. Your husband is
+ one, you know.&rdquo; He sprang up. &ldquo;I&rsquo;ll go into the Strand,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;There&rsquo;s
+ a man near the Temple who has always got some delightful novelty
+ displaying its paces on the pavement. What fun!&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And off he went, leaving Winifred alone with the mystery of her woman&rsquo;s
+ world, the mystic mystery of birth that may dawn out of hate as out of
+ love, out of drunken dissipation as out of purity&rsquo;s sweet climax.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Next day a paragraph in the papers told how Mr. Eustace Lane had bought up
+ all the penny toys of the Strand. Mention was again made of his supposed
+ mission to the Vatican, and a picture drawn of the bewilderment of the
+ Holy Father, roused from contemplation of the eternal to contemplation of
+ jumping pasteboard, and the frigid gestures of people from the world of <i>papier-mache</i>.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Eustace showed the paragraph to Winifred.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Why will they chronicle all I do?&rdquo; he said, with a sigh.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Would you rather they did not?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Oh, if it amuses them,&rdquo; he answered. &ldquo;To amuse the world is to be its
+ benefactor.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;No, to comfort the world,&rdquo; was Winifred&rsquo;s silent thought. .
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To her the world often seemed a weary invalid, playing cards on the
+ coverlet of the bed from which it longed in vain to move, peeping with
+ heavy eyes at the shrouded windows of its chamber, and listening for faint
+ sounds from without&mdash;soft songs, soft murmurings, the breath of
+ winds, the sigh of showers; then turning with a smothered groan to its
+ cards again, its lengthy game of &ldquo;Patience.&rdquo; Clubs, spades, hearts,
+ diamonds&mdash;there they all lay on the coverlet ready to the hands of
+ the invalid. But she wanted to take them away, and give to the sufferer a
+ prayer and a hope.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ At this period she was often full of a vague, chaotic tenderness,
+ far-reaching, yet indefinite. She could rather have kissed the race than a
+ person.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And so the days went by, Winifred in a dream of wonder, Eustace in the
+ toy-shops.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Until the birthday dawned and faded.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ All through that day Eustace was in agony. He did not care so much for the
+ child, but he loved the mother. Her danger tore at his heart. Her pain
+ smote him, till he seemed to feel it actually and physically. That she was
+ giving him something was naught to him; that she might be taken away in
+ the giving was everything. And when he learnt that all was well, he cried
+ and prayed, and thought to himself afterwards, &ldquo;If Winifred could know
+ what I am like, what I have done to-day, how would it strike her?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ She did not know; for when at length Eustace was admitted to her room, he
+ trained himself to murmur, &ldquo;A girl, that&rsquo;s lucky because of all the dolls.
+ The Pope sha&rsquo;n&rsquo;t have even one now.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Winifred lay back white on her pillow, and a little frown travelled across
+ her face. If Eustace had just kissed her, and she had felt a tear of his
+ on her face, and he had said nothing, she could have loved him then as a
+ father, perhaps, more than as a husband. His allusion to the supposed
+ Papal absurdity disgusted her at such a time, only faintly, because of her
+ weakness, but distinctly, and in a way to be remembered.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ She recovered; but just as the child was beginning to smile, and to
+ express an approbation of life by murmurous gurglings, an infantile
+ disease gripped it, held it, would not release it. And Winifred knelt
+ beside it, dead, and thought, with a new and vital horror, of the invalid
+ world playing cards upon the drawn coverlet of its bed. Baby was outside
+ that chamber now, beyond the curtained windows, outside in sun or shower
+ that she could not see, could only dream of, while the game of &ldquo;Patience&rdquo;
+ went on and on.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ <a name="link2H_4_0003" id="link2H_4_0003">
+ <!-- H2 anchor --> </a>
+ </p>
+ <div style="height: 4em;">
+ <br /><br /><br /><br />
+ </div>
+ <h2>
+ III.
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ The death of the child meant more to Winifred than she would at first
+ acknowledge even to herself. Almost unconsciously she had looked forward
+ to its birth as to a release from bondage. There are moments when a duet
+ is gaol, a trio comparative liberty. The child, the tiny intruder into
+ youthful married life, may come in the guise of an imp or of a good fairy:
+ one to cloud the perfect and complete joy of two, or one to give sunlight
+ to their nascent weariness and dissatisfaction. Or, again, it may be
+ looked for with longing by one of two lovers, with apprehension by the
+ other. Only when it lay dead did Winifred understand that Eustace was to
+ her a stranger, and that she was lonely alone with him. The &ldquo;Au revoir&rdquo; of
+ two bodies may be sweet, but the &ldquo;Au revoir&rdquo; of two minds is generally but
+ a hypocritical or sarcastic rendering of the tragic word &ldquo;Adieu.&rdquo;
+ Winifred&rsquo;s mind cried &ldquo;Au revoir&rdquo; to the mind of Eustace, to his nature,
+ to his love, but deep in her soul trembled the minor music, the shuddering
+ discord, of &ldquo;Adieu.&rdquo; Adieu to the body of child; adieu more complete, more
+ eternal, to the soul of husband. Which good bye was the stranger? She
+ stood as at cross-roads, and watched, with hand-shaded eyes, the tiny,
+ wayward babe dwindling on its journey to heaven; the man she had married
+ dwindling on his journey&mdash;whither? And the one she had a full hope of
+ meeting again, but the other&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ After the funeral the Lanes took up once more the old dual life which had
+ been momentarily interrupted. Had it not been for the interruption,
+ Winifred fancied that she might not have awakened to the full knowledge of
+ her own feelings towards Eustace until a much later period. But the baby&rsquo;s
+ birth, existence, passing away, were a blow upon the gate of life from the
+ vague without. She had opened the gate, caught a glimpse of the shadowy
+ land of the possible. And to do that is often to realize in a flash the
+ impossibility of one&rsquo;s individual fate. So many of us manage to live
+ ignorantly all our days and to call ourselves happy. Winifred could never
+ live quite ignorantly again.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Eustace the interruption meant much less. So long as he had Winifred he
+ could not feel that any of his dreams hung altogether in tatters.
+ Sometimes, it is true, he contemplated the penny toys, and had a moment of
+ quaint, not unpleasant regret, half forming the thought, Why do we ever
+ trouble ourselves to prepare happiness for others, when happiness is a
+ word of a thousand meanings? As often as not, to do so is to set a dinner
+ of many courses and many wines before an unknown guest, who proves to be
+ vegetarian and teetotaler, after all.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;What shall I do with the toys?&rdquo; he asked Winifred one day.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;The toys? Oh, give them to a children&rsquo;s hospital,&rdquo; she said, and her
+ voice had a harsh note in it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;No,&rdquo; he answered, after a moment&rsquo;s reflection; &ldquo;I&rsquo;ll keep them and play
+ with them myself; you know I love toys.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And on the following Sunday, when many callers came to Deanery Street,
+ they found him in the drawing-room, playing with a Noah&rsquo;s ark. Red, green,
+ violet, and azure elephants, antelopes, zebras, and pigs processed along
+ the carpet, guided by an orange-coloured Noah in a purple top-hat, and a
+ perfect parterre of sons and wives. The fixed anxiety of their painted
+ faces suggested that they were in apprehension of the flood, but their
+ rigid attitudes implied trust in the Unseen.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Winifred&rsquo;s face that day seemed changed to those who knew her best. To one
+ man, a soldier who had admired her greatly before her marriage, and\who
+ had seen no reason to change his opinion of her since, she was more
+ cordial than usual, and he went away curiously meditating on the mystery
+ of women.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;What has happened to Mrs. Lane?&rdquo; he thought to himself as he walked down
+ Park Lane. &ldquo;That last look of hers at me, when I was by the door, going,
+ was&mdash;yes, I&rsquo;ll swear it&mdash;Regent Street. And yet Winnie Lane is
+ the purest&mdash;I&rsquo;m hanged if I can make out women! Anyhow, I&rsquo;ll go there
+ again. People say she and that fantastic ass she&rsquo;s married are devoted.
+ H&rsquo;m!&rdquo; He went to Pall Mall, and sat staring at nothing in his Club till
+ seven, deep in the mystery of the female sex.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And he went again to Deanery Street to see whether the vision of Regent
+ Street was deceptive, and came away wondering and hoping. From this time
+ the vagaries of Eustace Lane became more incessant, more flamboyant, than
+ ever, and Mrs. Lane was perpetually in society. If it would not have been
+ true to say, conventionally, that no party was complete without her, yet
+ it certainly seemed, from this time, that she was incomplete without a
+ party. She was the starving wolf after the sledge in which sat the gay
+ world. If the sledge escaped her, she was left to face darkness, snow,
+ wintry winds, loneliness. In London do we not often hear the dismal
+ howling of the wolves, suggesting steppes of the heart frigid as Siberia?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Eustace grew uneasy, for Winifred seemed eluding him in this maze of
+ entertainments. He could not impress the personality of his mask upon her
+ vitally when she moved perpetually in the pantomime processions of
+ society, surrounded by grotesques, mimes, dancers, and deformities.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;We are scarcely ever alone, Winnie,&rdquo; he said to her one day.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;You must learn to love me in a crowd,&rdquo; she answered. &ldquo;Human nature can
+ love even God in isolation, but the man who can love God in the world is
+ the true Christian.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;I can love you anywhere,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;But you&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo; And
+ then he stopped and quickly readjusted his mask which was slipping off.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ From that day he monotonously accentuated his absurdities. All London rang
+ with them. He was the Court Fool of Mayfair, the buffoon of the inner
+ circles of the Metropolis, and, by degrees, his painted fame, jangling the
+ bells in its cap, spun about England in a dervish dance, till Peckham
+ whispered of him, and even the remotest suburbs crowned him with parsley
+ and hung upon his doings. All the blooming flowers of notoriety were his,
+ to hug in his arms as he stood upon his platform bowing to the general
+ applause. His shrine in <i>Vanity Fair</i> was surely being prepared. But
+ he scarcely thought of this, being that ordinary, ridiculous, middle-class
+ thing, an immoderately loving husband, insane enough to worship
+ romantically the woman to whom he was unromantically tied by the law of
+ his country. With each new fantasy he hoped to win back that which he had
+ lost. Each joke was the throw of a desperate gamester, each tricky
+ invention a stake placed on the number that would never turn up. That wild
+ time of his career was humorous to the world, how tragic to himself we can
+ only wonder. He spread wings like a bird, flew hither and thither as if a
+ vagrant for pure joy and the pleasure of movement, darted and poised,
+ circled and sailed, but all the time his heart cried aloud for a nest and
+ Winifred. Yet he wooed her only silently by his follies, and set her each
+ day farther and farther from him.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And she&mdash;how she hated his notoriety, and was sick with weariness
+ when voices told her of his escapades, modulating themselves to wondering
+ praise. Long ago she had known that Eustace sinned against his own nature,
+ but she had never loved him quite enough to discover what that nature
+ really was. And now she had no desire to find out. He was only her husband
+ and the least of all men to her.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The Lanes sat at breakfast one morning and took up their letters. Winifred
+ sipped her tea, and opened one or two carelessly. They were invitations.
+ Then she tore, the envelope of a third, and, as she read it, forgot to sip
+ her tea. Presently she laid it down slowly. Eustace was looking at her.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Winifred,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;I have got a letter from the editor of <i>Vanity
+ Fair</i>.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Oh!&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;He wishes me to permit a caricature of myself to appear in his pages.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Winifred&rsquo;s fingers closed sharply on the letter she had just been reading.
+ A decision of hers in regard to the writer of it was hanging in the
+ balance, though Eustace did not know it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Well?&rdquo; said Eustace, inquiring of her silence.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;What are you going to reply?&rdquo; she asked.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;I am wondering.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ She chipped an eggshell and took a bit of dry toast.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;All those who appear in <i>Vanity Fair</i> are celebrated, aren&rsquo;t they?&rdquo;
+ she said.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;I suppose so,&rdquo; Eustace said.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;For many different things.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Of course.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Can you refuse the editor&rsquo;s request?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;I don&rsquo;t know why I should.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Exactly. Tell me when you have written to him, and what you have written,
+ Eustace.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Yes, Winnie, I will.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Later on in the day he came up to her boudoir, and said to her:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;I have told him I am quite willing to have my caricature in his paper.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Your portrait,&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;All right. Leave me now, Eustace; I have some
+ writing to do.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ As soon as he had gone she sat down and wrote a short letter, which she
+ posted herself.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ A month later Eustace came bounding up the stairs to find her.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Winnie, Winnie!&rdquo; he called. &ldquo;Where are you? I&rsquo;ve something to show you.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He held a newspaper in his hand. Winifred was not in the room. Eustace
+ rang the bell.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Where is Mrs. Lane?&rdquo; he asked of the footman who answered it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Gone out, sir,&rdquo; the man answered.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;And not back yet? It&rsquo;s very late,&rdquo; said Eustace, looking at his watch.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The time was a quarter to eight. They were dining at half-past.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;I wonder where she is,&rdquo; he thought.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Then he sat down and gazed at a cartoon which represented a thin man with
+ a preternaturally pale face, legs like sticks, and drooping hands full of
+ toys&mdash;himself. Beneath it was written, &ldquo;His aim is to amuse.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He turned a page, and read, for the third or fourth time, the following:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Mr. Eustace Lane.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Mr. Eustace Bernhard Lane, only son of Mr. Merton Lane, of Carlton House
+ Terrace, was born in London twenty-eight years ago. He is married to one
+ of the belles of the day, and is probably the most envied husband in town.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Although he is such a noted figure in society, Mr. Eustace Lane has never
+ done any conspicuously good or bad deed. He has neither invented a bicycle
+ nor written a novel, neither lost a seat in Parliament, nor found a mine
+ in South Africa. Careless of elevating the world, he has been content to
+ entertain it, to make it laugh, or to make it wonder. His aim is to amuse,
+ and his whole-souled endeavour to succeed in this ambition has gained him
+ the entire respect of the frivolous. What more could man desire?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ As he finished there came a ring at the hall-door bell.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Winifred!&rdquo; he exclaimed, and jumped up with the paper in his hand.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In a moment the footman entered with a note.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;A boy messenger has just brought this, sir,&rdquo; he said.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Eustace took it, and, as the man went out and shut the door, opened it,
+ and read:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ &ldquo;Victoria Station.
+
+ &ldquo;This is to say good-bye. By the time it reaches you I
+ shall have left London. Not alone. I have seen the cartoon.
+ It is very like you.
+ Winifred.&rdquo;
+ </pre>
+ <p>
+ Eustace sank down in a chair.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ On the table at his elbow lay <i>Vanity Fair</i>. Mechanically he looked
+ at it, and read once more the words beneath his picture, &ldquo;His aim is to
+ amuse.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <div style="height: 6em;">
+ <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
+ </div>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg&rsquo;s The Folly Of Eustace, by Robert S. Hichens
+
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+</pre>
+ </body>
+</html>