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diff --git a/23170-h/23170-h.htm b/23170-h/23170-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..20c6bad --- /dev/null +++ b/23170-h/23170-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1866 @@ +<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?> + +<!DOCTYPE html + PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" > + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en"> + <head> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=UTF-8" /> + <title> + A Brace of Boys, by Fitz Hugh Ludlow + </title> + <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve"> + + body { margin:5%; background:#faebd0; text-align:justify} + P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; } + hr { width: 50%; text-align: center;} + .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; } + blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;} + .toc { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;} + .toc2 { margin-left: 20%;} + div.fig { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; } + div.middle { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; } + .figleft {float: left; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 1%;} + .figright {float: right; margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 1%;} + .pagenum {display:inline; font-size: 70%; font-style:normal; + margin: 0; padding: 0; position: absolute; right: 1%; + text-align: right;} + pre { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;} + +</style> + </head> + <body> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Brace Of Boys, by Fitz Hugh Ludlow + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: A Brace Of Boys + 1867, From "Little Brother" + +Author: Fitz Hugh Ludlow + +Release Date: October 24, 2007 [EBook #23170] +Last Updated: March 16, 2018 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A BRACE OF BOYS *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + <div style="height: 8em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h1> + A BRACE OF BOYS + </h1> + <h2> + By Fitz Hugh Ludlow + </h2> + <h4> + From “Little Brother,” <br /> <br /> Copyright, 1867, by Lee & Shepard + </h4> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + I am a bachelor uncle. That, as a mere fact, might happen to anybody; but + I am a bachelor uncle by internal fitness. I am one essentially, just as I + am an individual of the Caucasian division of the human race; and if, + through untoward circumstances—which Heaven forbid—I should + lose my present position, I shouldn't be surprised if you saw me out in + the “Herald” under “Situations Wanted—Males.” Thanks to a marrying + tendency in the rest of my family, I have now little need to advertise, + all the business being thrown into my way which a single member of my + profession can attend to. I suppose you won't agree with me; but, do you + know, sometimes I think it's better than having children of one's own? + People tell me that I'd feel very differently if I did have any. Perhaps + so, but then, too, I might be unwise with them; I might bother them into + mischief by trying to keep them out. I might be avaricious of them—might + be tempted to lock them up in my own stingy old nursery-chest instead of + paying them out to meet the bills of humanity and keep the Lord's business + moving. I might forget, when I had spent my life in fining their gold and + polishing their graven-work, that they were still vessels for the Master's + use—I only the Butler—the sweetness and the spirit with which + they brimmed all belonging to His lips who tasted bitterness for me. Then, + if seeking to drain another's wine, I raised the chalice to my lips and + found it gall, or felt it steal into my old veins to poison the heart and + paralyze the hand which had kept it from the Master, what further good + would there be for me in the world? Who doesn't know, in some friend's + house, a closet containing that worst of skeletons—the skeleton + which, in becoming naked, grim and ghastly, tears its way through our own + flesh and blood? To be an uncle is a different kind of thing. There you + have nothing of the excitement of responsibility to shake your judgment + That's what makes us bachelor uncles so much better judges of what's good + for children and their fathers and mothers. We know that nobody will blame + us if our nephews unjoint their knuckles or cut their fingers off; so we + give them five-bladed knives and boxing gloves. This involves getting + thanked at the time, which is pleasant; and if no catastrophe occurs, when + they have grown stout and ingenious, with what calm satisfaction we hear + people say, “See what a pretty windmill the child's whittled out with + Uncle Ned's birthday present!” or, “That boy's grown an inch round the + chest since you set him sparring!” Uncles never get stale. They don't come + every day like parents and plain pudding; they're a sort of holiday + relative with a plummy, Christmas flavor about them. Everybody hasn't got + them; they are not so rare as the meteoric showers, but as occasional as a + particularly fine day, and whenever they come to a house they're in the + nature of a pleasant surprise. + </p> + <p> + I meander, like a desultory, placid river of an old bachelor as I am, + through the flowery mead of several nurseries. I am detained by all the + little roots that run down into me to drink happiness, but I linger + longest among the children of my sister Lu. + </p> + <p> + Lu married Mr. Lovegrove. He is a merchant, retired, with a fortune + amassed by the old-fashioned slow process of trade, and regards the + mercantile life of the present day only as so much greed and gambling + Christianly baptized. For the ten years elapsing since he sold out of + Lovegrove, Cashdown & Co., he has devoted himself to his family and a + revival of letters, taking up again the Latin and Greek which he had not + looked at since his college days, until he dismissed teas and silks to + adorn a suburban villa with a spectacle of a prime Christian parent and + Pagan scholar. Lu is my favorite sister; Lovegrove an unusually good + article of brother-in-law; and I can not say that any of my nieces and + nephews interest me more than their two children, Daniel and Billy, who + are more unlike than words can paint them. They are far apart in point of + years; Daniel is twenty-two, Billy eleven. I was reminded of this fact the + other day by Billy, as he stood between my legs, scowling at his book of + sums. + </p> + <p> + “'A boy has 85 turnips and gives his sister 80'—pretty present for a + girl, isn't it?” said Billy with an air of supreme contempt. “Could <i>you</i> + stand such stuff—say?” + </p> + <p> + I put on my instructive face and answered: “Well, my dear Billy, you know + that arithmetic is necessary to you if you mean to be an industrious man + and succeed in business. Suppose your parents were to lose all their + property, what would become of them without a little son who could make + money and keep accounts?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh!” said Billy with surprise. “Hasn't father got enough stamps to see + him through?” + </p> + <p> + “He has now, I hope; but people don't always keep them. Suppose they + should go by some accident when your father was too old to make any more + stamps for himself?” + </p> + <p> + “You haven't thought of brother Daniel—” + </p> + <p> + True; for nobody ever had, in connection with the active employments of + life. + </p> + <p> + “No, Billy,” I replied; “I forgot him; but then, you know, Daniel is more + of a student than a business man, and—” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, Uncle Teddy! you don't think I meant he'd support them? I meant I'd + have to take care of father and mother and of all when they'd all got to + be old people together. Just think! I'm eleven and he's twenty-two; so he + is just twice as old as I am. How old are you?” + </p> + <p> + “Forty, Billy, last August.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, you aren't so awful old, and when I get to be as old as you Daniel + will be eighty. Seth Kendall's grandfather isn't more than that, and he + has to be fed with a spoon, and a nurse puts him to bed and wheels him + around in a chair like a baby. That takes the stamps, <i>I</i> bet! Well, + I'll tell you how I'll keep my accounts; I'll have a stick like Robinson + Crusoe, and every time I make a toadskin I'll gouge a piece out of one + side of the stick, and every time I spend one I'll gouge a piece out of + the other.” + </p> + <p> + “Spend a what!” said the gentle and astonished voice of my sister Lu, who, + unperceived, had slipped into the room. + </p> + <p> + “A toadskin, ma,” replied Billy, shutting up Colburn with a farewell + glance of contempt. + </p> + <p> + “Dear! dear! where does the boy learn such horrid words?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, ma! don't you know what a toadskin is? Here's one,” said Billy, + drawing a dingy five-cent stamp from his pocket. “And don't I wish I had + lots of 'em!” + </p> + <p> + “Oh!” sighed his mother, “to think I should have a child so addicted to + slang! How I wish he were like Daniel!” + </p> + <p> + “Well, mother,” replied Billy, “if you wanted two boys just alike you'd + oughter had twins. There ain't any use of my trying to be like Daniel now + when he's got eleven years the start. Whoop! There's a dog-fight! Hear + 'em! It's Joe Casey's dog—I know his bark!” + </p> + <p> + With these words my nephew snatched his Glengarry bonnet from the table + and bolted downstairs to see the fun. + </p> + <p> + “What will become of him?” said Lu hopelessly; “he has no taste for + anything but rough play; and then such language as he uses! Why <i>isn't</i> + he like Daniel?” + </p> + <p> + “I suppose because his Maker never repeats himself. Even twins often + possess strongly marked individualities. Don't you think it would be a + good plan to learn Billy better before you try to teach him? If you do + you'll make something as good of him as Daniel; though it will be rather + different from that model.” + </p> + <p> + “Remember, Ned, that you never did like Daniel as well as you do Billy. + But we all know the proverb about old maids' daughters and old bachelors' + sons. I wish you had Billy for a month—then you'd see.” + </p> + <p> + “I'm not sure that I'd do any better than you. I might err as much in + other directions. But I'd try to start right by acknowledging that he was + a new problem, not to be worked without finding the value of 'x' in his + particular instance. The formula which solves one boy will no more solve + the next one than the rule of three will solve a question in calculus—or, + to rise into your sphere, than the receipt for one-two-three-four cake + conduct you to a successful issue through plum pudding—” + </p> + <p> + I excel in metaphysical discussions, and was about giving further + elaboration of my favorite idea when the door burst open. Master Billy + came tumbling in with a torn jacket, a bloody nose, the trace of a few + tears in his eyes, and the mangiest of cur dogs in his hands. + </p> + <p> + “Oh my! my!! my!!!” exclaimed his mother. + </p> + <p> + “Don't you get scared, ma!” cried Billy, smiling a stern smile of triumph; + “I smashed the nose off him! He won't sass me again for nothing <i>this</i> + while! Uncle Teddy, d'ye know it wasn't a dogfight after all? There was + that nasty good-for-nothing Joe Casey 'n' Patsy Grogan and a lot of bad + boys from Mackerelville; and they'd caught this poor little ki-oodle and + tied a tin pot to his tail and were trying to set Joe's dog on him, though + he's ten times littler—” + </p> + <p> + “You naughty, naughty boy! How did you suppose your mother'd feel to see + you playing with those ragamuffins?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, I <i>played</i> 'em! I polished 'em—that's the play I did! + Says I, 'Put down that poor little pup! Ain't you ashamed of yourself, + Patsy Grogan?' 'I guess you don't know who I am,' says he. That's the way + they always say, Uncle Teddy, to make a fellow think they're some awful + great fighters. So says I again, 'Well, you put down that dog or I'll show + you who <i>I</i> am'; and when he held on, I let him have it. Then he + dropped the pup, and as I stooped to pick it up he gave me one on the + bugle.” + </p> + <p> + “<i>Bugle!</i> Oh! oh! oh!” + </p> + <p> + “The rest pitched in to help him; but I grabbed the pup, and while I was + trying to give as good as I got—only a fellow can't do it well with + only one hand, Uncle Teddy—up came a policeman and the whole crowd + ran away. So I got the dog safe, and here he is!” + </p> + <p> + With that Billy set down his “ki-oodle,” bade farewell to every fear, and + wiped his bleeding nose. The unhappy beast slunk back between the legs of + his preserver and followed him out of the room, as Lu, with an expression + of maternal despair, bore him away for the correction of his dilapidated + raiment and depraved associations. I felt such sincere pride in this young + Mazzini of the dog-nation that I was vexed at Lu for bestowing on him + reproof instead of congratulation; but she was not the only conservative + who fails to see a good cause and a heroic heart under a bloody nose and + torn jacket. I resolved that if Billy was punished, he should have his + recompense before long in an extra holiday at Barnum's or the + Hippotheatron. + </p> + <p> + You already have some idea of my other nephew if you have noticed that + none of us, not even that habitual disrespecter of dignities, Billy, ever + called him Dan. It would have seemed as incongruous as to call Billy + William. + </p> + <p> + He was one of those youths who never give their parents a moment's + uneasiness; who never have to have their wills broken, and never forget to + put on their rubbers or take an umbrella. In boyhood he was intended for a + missionary. Had it been possible for him to go to Greenland's icy + mountains without catching cold, or to India's coral strand without + getting bilious, his parents would have carried out their pleasing dream + of contributing him to the world's evangelization. Lu and Mr. Lovegrove + had no doubt that he would have been greatly blessed if he could have + stood it. They brought him up in the most careful manner, and I can not + recollect the time when he was not president, secretary, or something in + some society of small yet good children. He was not only an exemplar to + whom all Lu's friends pointed their own nursery as the little boy who + could say most hymns and sit stillest in church, but he was a reproof even + unto his elders. One Sunday afternoon, in the Connecticut village where my + brother-in-law used to spend his summers, when half of the congregation + was slumbering under the combined effect of the heat, a lunch of cheese + and apples, and the sermon, my nephew, then aged five, sat bolt upright in + the pew, winkless as a demon hearing a new candidate suspected of + shakiness on a “a card'nal p'int,” and mortified almost to death poor old + Mrs. Pringle, who, compassionating his years, had handed him a sprig of + her “meetin'-seed” over the back of the seat, by saying, in a loud and + stern voice: “I don't eat things in church.” + </p> + <p> + I should have spanked the boy when I got home, but Lu, with tears in her + eyes, quoted something about the mouths of babes and sucklings. + </p> + <p> + Both she and his father always encouraged old manners in him. I think they + took such pride in raising a peculiarly pale boy as a gardener does in + getting a nice blanch on his celery, and, so long as he was not absolutely + sick, the graver he was, the better. He was a sensitive plant, a violet by + a mossy stone, and all that sort of thing. But when in his tenth year he + had the measles, and was narrowly carried through, Lu got a scare about + him. During his convalescence, reading aloud a life of Henry Martyn to + amuse him, she found in it a picture of that young apostle preaching to a + crowd of Hindus without any boots on. An American mother's association of + such behavior with croup and ipecac was too strong to be counteracted by + known climatic facts; and from that hour, as she never had before, Lu + realized that being a missionary might involve going to carry the gospel + to the heathen in your stocking-feet. + </p> + <p> + When they had decided that such a life would not do for him, his training + had almost entirely unfitted him for any other active calling. The strict + propriety with which he had been brought up had resulted in weak lungs, + poor digestion, sluggish circulation, and torpid liver. Moreover, he was + troubled with the painfulest bashfulness which ever made a mother think + her child too ethereal, or a dispassionate outsider regard him as too + flimsy, for this world. These were weights enough to carry, even if he had + not labored under that heaviest of all, a well-stored mind. + </p> + <p> + No misnomer that last to any one who has ever frequented the Atlantic + Docks, or seen storage in any large port of entry. How does a storehouse + look? It's a vast, dark, cold chamber-dust an inch deep on the floor, + cobwebs festooning the girders—and piled from floor to ceiling on + the principle of getting the largest bulk into the least room, with + barrels, boxes, bales, baskets, chests, crates, and carboys—merchandise + of all description, from the rough, raw material to the most exquisite <i>choses + de luxe</i>. The inmost layers are inextricable without pulling down the + outer ones. If you want a particular case of broadcloth you must clear + yourself an alleyway through a hundred tierces of hams, and last week's + entry of clayed sugars is inaccessible without tumbling on your head a + mountain of Yankee notions. + </p> + <p> + In my nephew's unfortunate youth such storage as this had minds. As long + as the crown of his brain's arch was not crushed in by some intellectual + Furman Street diaster, those stevedores of learning, the schoolmasters, + kept on unloading the Rome and Athens lighters into a boy's crowded skull, + and breaking out of the hold of that colossal old junk, The Pure + Mathematics, all the formulas which could be crowded into the interstices + between his Latin and Greek. At the time I introduce Billy, both Lu and + her husband were much changed. They had gained a great deal in width of + view and liberality of judgment. They read Dickens and Thackeray with + avidity; went now and then to the opera; proposed to let Billy take a + quarter at Dod-worth's; had statues in their parlor without any thought of + shame at their lack of petticoats, and did multitudes of things which, in + their early married life, they would have considered shocking. Part of + this change was due to the great increase of travel, the wonderful + progress in art and refinement which has enlarged this generation's + thought and corrected its ignorant opinions; infusing cosmopolitanism into + our manners by a revolution so gradual that its subjects were a new people + before their combativeness became alarmed, yet so rapid that a man of + thirty can scarcely believe his birthday, and questions whether he has not + added his life up wrong by a century or so when he compares his own + boy-Hood with that of the present day. But a good deal of the + transformation resulted from the means of gratifying elegant tastes, the + comfort, luxury, and culture which came with Lovegrove's retirement on a + fortune. They had mellowed on the sunny shelves of prosperity, like every + good thing which has an astringent skin when it is green. They would + greatly have liked to see Daniel shine in society. Of his erudition they + were proud, even to worship. The young man never had any business, and his + father never seemed to think of giving him any; knowing, as Billy would + say, that he had stamps enough to “see him through.” If Daniel liked, his + father would have endowed a professorship in some college and have given + him the chair; but that would have taken him away from his own room and + the family physician. + </p> + <p> + Daniel knew how much his parents wished him to make a figure in the world, + and only blamed himself for his failure, magnanimously forgetting that + they had crushed out the faculties which enable a man to mint the small + change of everyday society in the exclusive cultivation of such as fit him + for smelting its ponderous ingots. With that merciful blindness which + alone prevents all our lives from becoming a horror of nerveless reproach, + his parents were equally unaware of their share in the harm done him, when + they ascribed to his delicate organization the fact that, at an age when + love runs riot in all healthy blood, he could not see a balmoral without + his cheeks rivaling the most vivid stripe in it. They flattered themselves + that he would outgrow his bashfulness, but Daniel had no such hope, and + frequently confided in me that he thought he should never marry at all. + </p> + <p> + About two hours after Billy's disappearance under his mother's convoy, the + defender of the oppressed returned to my room bearing the dog under his + arm. His cheeks shone with washing like a pair of waxy Spitzenbergs, and + other indignities had been offered him to the extent of the brush and + comb. He also had a whole jacket on. + </p> + <p> + “Well, Billy,” said I, “what are you going to do with your dog?” + </p> + <p> + “I don't know what I'm going to do. I've a great mind to be a bad, + disobedient boy with him, and <i>not</i> have my days long in the land + which the Lord my God giveth me.” + </p> + <p> + “O Billy!” + </p> + <p> + “I can't help it. They won't be long if I don't mind ma, she says; and she + wants me to be mean, and put Crab out in the street to have Patsy catch + him and tie coffee-pots to his tail. I—I—I—” + </p> + <p> + Here my small nephew dug his fist into his eye and looked down. + </p> + <p> + I told Billy to stop where he was, and went to intercede with Lu. She was + persuaded to entertain the angels of magnanimity and heroism in the + disguise of a young fighting character, and to accept my surety for the + behavior of his dog. Billy and I also obtained permission to go out + together and be gone the entire afternoon. + </p> + <p> + We put Crab on a comfortable bed of rags in an old shoe box, and then + strolled, hand-in-hand, across that most delightful of New York + breathing-places, Stuyvesant Square. + </p> + <p> + “Uncle Teddy!” exclaimed Billy with ardor; “I wish I could do something to + show you how much I think of you for being so good to me. I don't know + how. Would it make you happy if I was to learn a hymn for you—a + smashing big hymn—six verses, long metre, and no grumbling?” + </p> + <p> + “No, Billy; you make me happy enough just by being a good boy.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, Uncle Teddy!” replied Billy decidedly, “I'm afraid I can't do it. + I've tried so often and I always make such an awful mess of it.” + </p> + <p> + “Perhaps you get discouraged too easily—” + </p> + <p> + “Well, if a savings-bank won't do it, there ain't any chance for a boy. I + got father to get me a savings-bank once and began being good just as hard + as ever I could for three cents a day. Every night I got 'em, I put 'em in + reg'lar, and sometimes I'd keep being good three whole days running. That + made a sight of money, I tell you. Then I'd do something, ma said, to kick + my pail of milk over, and those nights I didn't get anything. I used to + put in most of my marble and candy money, too.” + </p> + <p> + “What were you going to do with it?” + </p> + <p> + “It was for an Objeck, Uncle Teddy. That's a kind of Indian, you know, + that eats people and wants the gospel. That's what pa says, anyway; I + didn't ever see one.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, didn't that make you happy—to help the poor little heathen + children?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, does it, Uncle Teddy? They never got a cent of it. One time I was + good so long I got scared. I was afraid I'd never want to fly my kite on a + roof again or go anywhere where I oughtn't, or have any fun. I couldn't + see any use of going and saving my money to send out to the Objecks if it + was going to make good boys of 'em. It was awful hard for me to have to be + a good boy, and it must be worse for them 'cause they ain't used to it. So + when there wasn't anybody upstairs I went and shook a lot of pennies out + of my chimney and bought ever so much taffy and marbles and popcorn. Was + that awful mean, Uncle Teddy?” + </p> + <p> + The question involved such complications that I hesitated. Before I could + decide what to answer Billy continued: + </p> + <p> + “Ma said it was robbing the heathen, and didn't I get it? I thought if it + was robbing I'd have a cop after me.” + </p> + <p> + “What's a 'cop'?” + </p> + <p> + “That's what the boys call a policeman, Uncle Teddy; and then I should be + taken away and put in an awful black place underground, like Johnny Wilson + when he broke Mrs. Perkins's window. I was scared, I tell you. But I + didn't get anything worse than a whipping, and having my savings bank + taken away from me with all that was left in it, I haven't tried to be + good since, much.” + </p> + <p> + We now got into a Broadway stage going down, and being unable, on account + of the noise, to converse further upon those spiritual conflicts of + Billy's which so much interested me, we amused ourselves with looking out + until just as we reached the Astor House, when he asked me where we were + going. + </p> + <p> + “Where do you guess?” said I. + </p> + <p> + He cast a glance through the front window and his face became irradiated. + Oh, there's nothing like the simple, cheap luxury of pleasing a child, to + create sunshine enough for the chasing away of the bluest adult devils! + </p> + <p> + “We're going to Barnum's,” said Billy, involuntarily clapping his hands. + </p> + <p> + So we were; and, much as stuck-up people pretend to look down at the + place, I frequently am. Not only so, but I always see that class largely + represented there when I do go. To be sure, they always make believe that + they only come to amuse the children, or because their country cousins + visit them; and never fail to refer to the vulgar set one finds there, and + the fact of the animals smelling like anything but Jockey Club; yet I + notice that after they've been in the hall three minutes they're as much + interested as any of the people they come to poh-poh, and only put on the + high-bred air when they fancy some of their own class are looking at them. + I boldly acknowledge that I go because I like it. I am especially happy, + to be sure, if I have a child along to go into ecstasies and give me a + chance, by asking questions, for the exhibition of that fund of + information which is said to be one of my chief charms in the social + circle, and on several occasions has led that portion of the public + immediately about the Happy Family into the erroneous impression that I + was Mr. Barnum explaining his five hundred thousand curiosities. On the + present occasion we found several visitors of the better class in the room + devoted to the Aquarium. Among these was a young lady, apparently about + nineteen, in a tight-fitting basque of black velvet, which showed her + elegant figure to fine advantage, a skirt of garnet silk, looped up over a + pretty Balmoral, and the daintiest imaginable pair of kid walking-boots. + Her height was a trifle over the medium, her eyes, a soft expressive + brown, shaded by masses of hair which exactly matched their color, and, at + that rat-and-miceless day, fell in such graceful abandon as to show at + once that nature was the only maid who crimped their waves into them. Her + complexion was rosy with health and sympathetic enjoyment; her mouth was + faultless, her nose sensitive, her manners full of refinement, and her + voice musical as a wood-robin's, when she spoke to the little boy of six + at her side, to whom she was revealing the palace of the great show-king. + Billy and I were flattening our noses against the abode of the + balloon-fish and determining whether he looked most like a horse-chestnut + burr or a ripe cucumber, when his eyes and my own simultaneously fell on + the child and lady. In a moment, to Billy the balloon-fish was as though + he had not been. + </p> + <p> + “That's a pretty little boy!” said I. And then I asked Billy one of those + senseless routine questions which must make children look at us, regarding + the scope of our intellects very much as we look at Bushmen. + </p> + <p> + “How would you like to play with him?” + </p> + <p> + “Him!” replied Billy scornfully, “that's his first pair of boots; see him + pull up his little breeches to show the red tops to them! But, crackey! + isn't <i>she</i> a smasher!” + </p> + <p> + After that we visited the wax figures and the sleepy snakes, the learned + seal, and the glass-blowers. Whenever we passed from one room into + another, Billy could be caught looking anxiously to see if the pretty girl + and child were coming, too. + </p> + <p> + Time fails me to describe how Billy was lost in the astonishment at the + Lightning Calculator—wanted me to beg the secret of that prodigy for + him to do his sums by—finally thought he had discovered it, and + resolved to keep his arm whirling all the time he studied his arithmetic + lesson the next morning. Equally inadequate is it to relate in full how he + became so confused among the waxworks that he pinched the solemnest + showman's legs to see if he was real, and perplexed the beautiful + Circassian to the verge of idiocy by telling her he had read all about the + way they sold girls like her in his geography. + </p> + <p> + We had reached the stairs to that subterranean chamber in which the + Behemoth of Holy Writ was wallowing about without a thought of the dignity + which one expects from a canonical character. Billy had always languished + upon his memories of this diverting beast, and I stood ready to see him + plunge headlong the moment that he read the signboard at the head of the + stairs. When he paused and hesitated there, not seeming at all anxious to + go down till he saw the pretty girl and the child following after—a + sudden intuition flashed across me. Could it be possible that Billy was + caught in that vortex which whirled me down at ten years—a little + boy's first love? + </p> + <p> + We were lingering about the elliptical basin, and catching occasional + glimpses between bubbles of a vivified hair trunk of monstrous compass, + whose knobby lid opened at one end and showed a red morocco lining, when + the pretty girl, in leaning over to point out the rising monster, dropped + into the water one of her little gloves, and the swash made by the + hippopotamus drifted it close under Billy's hand. Either in play, or as a + mere coincidence, the animal followed it. The other children about the + tank screamed and started back as he bumped his nose against the side; but + Billy manfully bent down and grabbed the glove, not an inch from one of + his big tusks, then marched around the tank and presented it to the lady + with a chivalry of manner in one of his years quite surprising. + </p> + <p> + “That's a real nice boy—you said so, didn't you, Lottie? And I wish + he'd come and play with me,” said the little fellow by the young lady's + side, as Billy turned away, gracefully thanked, to come back to me with + his cheeks roseate with blushes. + </p> + <p> + As he heard this, Billy sidled along the edge of the tank for a moment, + then faced about and said: + </p> + <p> + “P'rhaps I will some day—where do you live?” + </p> + <p> + “I live on East Seventeenth Street with papa—and Lottie stays there + too now—she's my cousin: where d'you live?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, I live close by—right on that big green square where I guess + the nurse takes you once in a while,” said Billy patronizingly. Then, + looking up pluckily at the young lady, he added, “I never saw you out + there.” + </p> + <p> + “No, Jimmy's papa has only been in his new house a little while, and I've + just come to visit him.” + </p> + <p> + “Say, will you come and play with me some time?” chimed in the + inextinguishable Jimmy. “I've got a cooking stove—for real fire—and + blocks and a ball with a string.” + </p> + <p> + Billy, who belonged to a club for the practice of the great American game, + and was what A. Ward would call the most superior battest among the I. G. + B. B. C, or “Infant Giants,” smiled from that altitude upon Jimmy, but + promised to go and play with him the next Saturday afternoon. + </p> + <p> + Late that evening, after we had got home and dined, as I sat in my room + over Pickwick, with a sedative cigar, a gentle knock at the door told of + Daniel. I called “Come in!” and, entering with a slow dejected air, he sat + down by my fire. For ten minutes he remained silent, though occasionally + looking up as if about to speak, then dropping his head again to ponder on + the coals. Finally I laid down Dickens, and spoke myself. + </p> + <p> + “You don't seem well to-night, Daniel?” + </p> + <p> + “I don't feel very well, uncle.” + </p> + <p> + “What's the matter, my boy?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh—ah—I don't know. That is, I wish I knew how to tell you.” + </p> + <p> + I studied him for a few moments with kindly curiosity, then answered: + “Perhaps I can save you the trouble by cross-examining it out of you. + Let's try the method of elimination. I know that you are not harassed by + any economical considerations, for you've all the money you want; and I + know that ambition doesn't trouble you, for your tastes are scholarly. + This narrows down the investigation of your symptoms—listlessness, + general dejection, and all—to three causes: Dyspepsia, religious + conflicts, love. Now is your digestion awry?” + </p> + <p> + “No, sir, good as usual. I'm not melancholy on religion and—” + </p> + <p> + “You don't tell me you're in love?” + </p> + <p> + “Well—yes—I suppose that's about it, Uncle Teddy.” + </p> + <p> + I took a long breath to recover from my astonishment at this unimaginable + revelation, then said: + </p> + <p> + “Is your feeling returned?” + </p> + <p> + “I really don't know, uncle. I don't believe it is. I don't see how it can + be. I never did anything to make her love me. What is there in me to love! + I've borne enough for her—that is, nothing that could do her any + good—though I've endured on her account, I may say, anguish. So, + look at it any way you please, I neither am, do, nor suffer anything that + can get a woman's love.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, you man of learning! Even in love you tote your grammar along with + you, and arrange a divine passion under the active, passive, and neuter!” + </p> + <p> + Daniel smiled faintly. + </p> + <p> + “You've no idea, Uncle Teddy, that you are twitting on facts; but you hit + the truth there; indeed you do. If she were a Greek or Latin woman I could + talk Anacreon or Horace to her. If women only understood the philosophy of + the flowers as well as they do the poetry—” + </p> + <p> + “Thank God they don't, Daniel!” sighed out I devoutly. + </p> + <p> + “Never mind—in that case I could entrance her for hours, talking + about the grounds of difference between Linnaeus and Jussieu. Women like + the star business, they say—and I could tell her where all the + constellations are; but sure as I tried to get off any sentiment about + them, I'd break down and make myself ridiculous. But what earthly chance + would the greatest philosopher that ever lived have with the woman he + loved, if he depended for her favor on his ability to analyze her bouquet + or tell her when she might look out for the next occultation of Orion? I + can't talk bread and butter. I can't do anything that makes a man even + tolerable to a woman!” + </p> + <p> + “I hope you don't mean that nothing but bread and butter talk is tolerable + to a woman!” + </p> + <p> + “No; but it's necessary to some extent—at any rate the ability is—in + order to succeed in society; and it is in society men first meet and + strike women. And Uncle Teddy! I'm such a fish out of water in society!—such + a dreadful floundering fish! When I see her dancing gracefully as a swan + swims, and feel that fellows, like little Jack Mankyn, 'who don't know + twelve times,' can dance to her perfect admiration; when I see that she + likes ease of manners—and all sorts of men without an idea in their + heads have that—while I turn all colors when I speak to her, and am + clumsy; and abrupt, and abstracted, and bad at repartee—Uncle Teddy! + sometimes (though it seems so ungrateful to father and mother, who have + spent such pains for me)—sometimes, do you know, it seems to me as + if I'd exchange all I've ever learned for the power to make a good + appearance before her!” + </p> + <p> + “Daniel, my boy, it's too much a matter of reflection with you! A woman is + not to be taken by laying plans. If you love the lady (whose name I don't + ask you because I know you'll tell me as soon as you think best), you must + seek her companionship until you're well enough acquainted with her to + have her regard you as something different from the men whom she meets + merely in society, and judge your qualities by another standard than that + she applies to them. If she's a sensible girl (and God forbid you should + marry her otherwise!) she knows that people can't always be dancing, or + holding fans, or running after orange ice. If she's a girl capable of + appreciating your best points (and woe to you if you marry a girl who + can't!), she'll find them out upon closer intimacy, and once found they'll + a hundred times outweigh all brilliant advantages kept in the showcase of + fellows who have nothing on the shelves. When this comes about, you will + pop the question unconsciously, and, to adopt Milton, she will drop into + your lap, 'gathered—not harshly plucked.'” + </p> + <p> + “I know that's sensible, Uncle Teddy, and I'll try. Let me tell you the + sacredest of secrets—regularly every day of my life I send her a + little poem fastened round the prettiest bouquet I can get at Hanfts.” + </p> + <p> + “Does she know who sends them?” + </p> + <p> + “She can't have any idea. The German boy that takes them knows not a word + of English except her name and address. You'll forgive me, Uncle, for not + mentioning her name yet? You see she may despise or hate me some day when + she knows who it is that has paid her these attentions; and then I'd like + to be able to feel that at least I've never hurt her by any absurd + connection with myself.” + </p> + <p> + “Forgive you? Nonsense! The feeling does your heart infinite credit, + though a little counsel with your head would show you that your only + absurdity is self-depreciation.” + </p> + <p> + Daniel bade me good-night. As I put out my cigar and went to bed, my mind + reverted to the dauntless little Hotspur who had spent the afternoon with + me, and reversed his mother's wish, thinking: “Oh, if Daniel were more + like Billy!” + </p> + <p> + It was always Billy's habit to come and sit with me while I smoked my + after-breakfast cigar, but the next morning did not see him enter my room + till St. George's hands pointed to a quarter of nine. + </p> + <p> + “Well, Billy Boy Blue, come blow your horn; what haystack have you been + under till this time of day? We shan't have a minute to look over our + spelling together, and I know a boy is going in for promotion next week. + Have you had your breakfast and taken care of Crab?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, sir, but I didn't feel like getting up this morning.” + </p> + <p> + “Are you sick?” + </p> + <p> + “No-o-o—it isn't that; but you'll laugh at me if I tell you.” + </p> + <p> + “Indeed, I won't, Billy!” + </p> + <p> + “Well”—his voice dropped to a whisper and he stole close to my side—“I + had such a nice dream about <i>her</i> just the last thing before the bell + rang; and when I woke up I felt so queer—so kinder good and kinder + bad—and I wanted to see her so much, that if I hadn't been a big + boy, I believe I should have blubbered. I tried ever so much to go to + sleep and see her again; but the more I tried the more I couldn't. After + all, I had to get up without it, though I didn't want any breakfast, and + only ate two buckwheat cakes, when I always eat six, you know, Uncle + Teddy. Can you keep a secret?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, dear, so you couldn't get it out of me if you were to shake me + upside down like a savings-bank.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, ain't you mean! That was when I was small I did that. I'll tell you + the secret, though—that girl and I are going to get married. I mean + to ask her the first chance I get. Oh, isn't she a smasher!” + </p> + <p> + “My dear Billy, shan't you wait a little while to see if you always like + her as well as you do now? Then, too, you'll be older.” + </p> + <p> + “I'm old enough, Uncle Teddy, and I love her dearly. I am as old as the + Kings of France used to be when they got married—I read it in + Abbott's history. But there's the clock striking nine! I must run or I + shall get a tardy mark and perhaps she'll want to see my certificate some + time.” + </p> + <p> + So saying, he kissed me on the cheek and set off for school as fast as his + legs could carry him. Oh, Love, omnivorous Love, that sparest neither the + dotard leaning on his staff nor the boy with pantaloons buttoning on his + jacket—omnipotent Love, that, after parents and teachers have + failed, in one instant can make Billy try to become a good boy! + </p> + <p> + With both of my nephews hopelessly enamored and myself the confidant of + both, I had my hands full. Daniel was generally dejected and distrustful; + Billy buoyant and jolly. Daniel found it impossible to overcome his + bashfulness, was spontaneous only in sonnets, brilliant only in bouquets. + Billy was always coming to me with pleasant news, told in his slangy New + York boy vernacular. One day he would exclaim: “Oh, I'm getting on prime! + I got such a smile off her this morning as I went by the window!” Another + day he wanted counsel how to get a valentine to her—because it was + too big to shove in a lamppost and she might catch him if he left it on + the steps, rang the bell, and ran away. Daniel wrote his own valentine, + but, despite its originality, that document gave him no such comfort as + Billy got from twenty-five cents' worth of embossed paper, pink cupids, + and doggerel. + </p> + <p> + Finally Billy announced to me that he had been to play with Jimmy and got + introduced to his girl. + </p> + <p> + Shortly after this Lu gave what they call “a little company”—not a + party, but a reunion of forty or fifty people with whom the family were + well acquainted, several of them living in our immediate neighborhood. + There was a goodly proportion of young fold and there was to be dancing; + but the music was limited to a single piano played by the German exile + usual on such occasions, and the refreshments did not rise to the splendor + of a costly supper. This kind of compromise with fashionable gayety was + wisely deemed by Lu the best method of introducing Daniel to the <i>beau + monde</i>—a push given the timid eaglet by the maternal bird, with a + soft tree-top between him and the vast expanse of society. How simple was + the entertainment may be inferred from the fact that Lu felt somewhat + discomposed when she got a note from one of her guests asking leave to + bring along her niece who was making her a few weeks' visit. As a matter + of course, however, she returned answer to bring the young lady and + welcome. + </p> + <p> + Daniel's dressing-room having been given up to the gentlemen, I invited + him to make his toilet in mine, and indeed, wanting him to create a + favorable impression, became his valet <i>pro tem</i>., tying his cravat + and teasing the divinity-student look out of his side hair. My little + dandy Billy came in for another share of attention, and when I managed to + button his jacket for him so that it showed his shirt studs “like a + man's,” Count d'Orsay could not have felt a greater sense of his + sufficiency for all the demands of the gay world. + </p> + <p> + When we reached the parlor we found Pa and Ma Lovegrove already receiving. + About a score of guests had arrived. Most of them were old married couples + which, after paying their devoirs, fell in two like unriveted scissors, + the gentlemen finding a new pivot in pa and the ladies in ma, where they + mildly opened and shut upon such questions as severally concerned them, + such as “The way gold closed” and “How the children were.” + </p> + <p> + Besides the old married people there were several old young men, of + distinctly hopeless and unmarried aspect, who, having nothing in common + with the other class, nor sufficient energy of character to band + themselves for mutual protection, hovered dejectedly about the arch + pillars or appeared to be considering whether on the whole it would not be + feasible and best to sit down on the centre-table. These subsisted upon + such crumbs of comfort as Lu could get an occasional chance to throw them + by rapid sorties of conversation—became galvanically active the + moment they were punched up and fell flat the moment the punching was + remitted. I did all I could for them, but, having Daniel in tow, dared not + sail too near the edge of the Doldrums, lest he should drop into + sympathetic stagnation and be taken preternaturally bashful with his sails + all aback, just as I wanted to carry him gallantly into action with some + clipper-built cruiser of a nice young lady. Finally, Lu bethought herself + of that last plank of drowning conversationalists, the photograph album. + All the dejected young men made for it at once, some reaching it just as + they were about to sink for the last time, but all getting a grip on it + somehow and staying there, in company with other people's babies whom they + didn't know, and celebrities whom they knew to death, until, one by one, + they either stranded upon a motherly dowager by the Fire-Place Shoals, or + were rescued from the Sofa Reef by some gallant wrecker of a strong-minded + young lady, with a view of taking salvage out of them in the German. + </p> + <p> + Besides these, were already arrived a dozen nice little boys and girls who + had been invited to make it pleasant for Billy. I had to remind him of the + fact that they were his guests, for, in comparison with the queen of his + affections, they were in danger of being despised by him as small fry. + </p> + <p> + The younger ladies and gentlemen—those who had fascinations to + disport or were in the habit of disporting what they considered such—were + probably still at home consulting the looking-glass until that oracle + should announce the auspicious moment for their setting forth. + </p> + <p> + Daniel was in conversation with a perfect godsend of a girl who understood + Latin and had taken up Greek. + </p> + <p> + Billy was taking a moment's vacation from his boys and girls, busy with + “Old Maid” in the extension room, and whispering, with his hand in mine, + “Oh, don't I wish <i>she</i> were here!” when a fresh invoice of ladies, + just unpacked from the dressing-room, in all the airy elegance of evening + costume, floated through the door. I heard Lu say: + </p> + <p> + “Ah, Mrs. Rumbullion! happy to see your niece, too. How do you do, Miss + Pilgrim?” + </p> + <p> + At this last word Billy jumped as if he had been shot, and the bevy of + ladies opening about Sister Lu disclosed the charming face and figure of + the pretty girl we had met at Barnum's. + </p> + <p> + Billy's countenance rapidly changed from astonishment to joy. + </p> + <p> + “Isn't that splendid, Uncle Teddy? Just as I was wishing it! It's just + like the fairy books!” and, rushing up to the party of new-comers, “My + dear Lottie!” cried he, “if I had only known you were coming I'd have come + after you!” + </p> + <p> + As he caught her by the hand, I was pleased to see her soft eyes brighten + with gratification at his enthusiasm, but my sister Lu looked on, + naturally with astonishment in every feature. + </p> + <p> + “Why Billy!” said she, “you ought not to call a strange young lady '<i>Lottie?</i> + Miss Pilgrim, you must excuse my wild boy—” + </p> + <p> + “And you must excuse my mother, Lottie,” said Billy, affectionately + patting Miss Pilgrim's rose kid, “for calling you a strange young lady. + You are not strange at all—you're just as nice a girl as there is.” + </p> + <p> + “There are no excuses necessary,” said Miss Pilgrim, with a bewitching + little laugh. “Billy and I know each other intimately well, Mrs. + Lovegrove, and I confess that when I heard the lady Aunt had been invited + to visit was his mother, I felt all the more willing to infringe on + etiquette this evening, by coming where I had no previous introduction.” + </p> + <p> + “Don't you care!” said Billy encouragingly, “I'll introduce you to every + one of our family; I know 'em if you don't.” + </p> + <p> + At this moment I came up as Billy's reinforcement, and, fearing lest, in + his enthusiasm, he might forget the canon of society which introduced a + gentleman to a lady, not a lady to him, I ventured to suggest it + delicately by saying, “Billy, will you grant me the favor of a + presentation to Miss Pilgrim?” + </p> + <p> + “In a minute, Uncle Teddy,” answered Billy, considerably lowering his + voice. “The older people first;” and after this reproof I was left to wait + in the cold until he had gone through the ceremony of introducing to the + young lady his father and his mother. + </p> + <p> + Billy, who had now assumed entire guardianship of Miss Pilgrim, with an + air of great dignity intrusted her to my care, and left us promenading + while he went in search of Daniel. I, myself, looked in vain for that + youth, whom I had not seen since the entrance of the last comers. Miss + Pilgrim and I found a congenial common ground in Billy, whom she spoke of + as one of the most delightfully original boys she had ever met; in fact, + altogether the most fascinating young gentleman she had seen in New York + society. You may be sure it wasn't Billy's left ear which burned when I + made my responses. + </p> + <p> + In five minutes he reappeared to announce, in a tone of disappointment, + that he could find Daniel nowhere. He could see a light through his + keyhole, but the door was locked and he could get no admittance. Just then + Lu came up to present a certain—no, an uncertain—young man of + the fleet stranded on parlor furniture earlier in the evening. To Lu's + great astonishment, Miss Pilgrim asked Billy's permission to leave him. It + was granted with all the courtesy of a <i>preux chevalier</i>, on the + condition, readily assented to, that she should dance one Lancers with him + during the evening. + </p> + <p> + “Dear me!” exclaimed Lu, after Billy had gone back like a superior being, + to assist at the childish amusement of his contemporaries, “would anybody + ever suppose that was our Billy?” + </p> + <p> + “I should, my dear sister,” said I, with proud satisfaction; “but you + remember I always was just to Billy.” + </p> + <p> + Left free, I went myself to hunt up Daniel. I found his door locked and a + light showing through the keyhole, as Billy had said. I made no attempt to + enter by knocking; but, going to my room and opening the window next his, + I leaned out as far as I could, shoved up his sash with my cane and pushed + aside his curtain. Such an unusual method of communication could not fail + to bring him to the window with a rush. When he saw me, he trembled like a + guilty thing, his countenance fell, and, no longer able to feign absence, + he unlocked his door and let me enter by the normal mode. + </p> + <p> + “Why, Daniel Lovegrove, my nephew, what does this mean; are you sick?” + </p> + <p> + “Uncle Edward, I am not sick, and this means that I am a fool. Even a + little boy like Billy puts me to shame. I feel humbled to the very dust. I + wish I'd been a missionary and got massacred by savages. Oh, that I'd been + permitted to wear damp stockings in childhood, or that my mother hadn't + carried me through the measles! If it weren't wrong to take my life into + my own hands, I'd open that window and—and—sit in a draught + this very evening! Oh, yes! I'm just that bitter! Oh! Oh! Oh!” + </p> + <p> + And Daniel paced the floor with strides of frenzy. + </p> + <p> + “Well, my dear fellow, let's look at the matter calmly for a minute. What + brought on this sudden attack? You seemed doing well enough the first ten + minutes after we came down. I was only out of your sight long enough to + speak to the Rumbullion party who had just come in, and when I turned you + were gone. Now you are in this fearful condition. What is there in the + Rumbullions to start you off on such a bender of bash-fulness as this + which I here behold?” + </p> + <p> + “Rumbullions indeed!” said Daniel. “A hundred Rumbillions could not make + me feel as I do; but <i>she</i> can shake me into a whirlwind with her + little finger, and <i>she</i> came with the Rumbullions!” + </p> + <p> + “What! D'you—Miss Pilgrim?” + </p> + <p> + “Miss Pilgrim!” + </p> + <p> + I labored with Daniel for ten minutes, using every encouragement and + argument I could think of, and finally threatened him that I would bring + up the whole Rumbullion party, Miss Pilgrim included, telling them that he + invited them to look at his conchological cabinet, unless he instantly + shook the ice out of his manner and accompanied me downstairs. This + dreadful menace had the desired effect. He knew that I would not scruple + to fulfil it; and at the same time that it made him surrender it also + provoked him with me to a degree which gave his eyes and cheeks as fine a + glow as I could have wished for the purpose of a favorable impression. The + stimulus of wrath was good for him, and there was little tremor in his + knees when he descended the stairs. Well-a-day—so Daniel and Billy + were rivals! + </p> + <p> + The latter gentleman met us at the foot of the staircase. + </p> + <p> + “Oh, there you are, Daniel!” said he, cheerily. “I was just going to look + for you and Uncle Teddy. We wanted you for the dances. We have had the + Lancers twice and three round dances; and I danced the second Lancers with + Lottie. Now we're going to play some games to amuse the children, you + know,” he added loftily with the adult gesture of pointing his thumb over + his shoulder at the extension room. “Lottie's going to play, too, so will + you and Daniel, won't you, uncle? Oh, here comes Lottie now! This is my + brother, Miss Pilgrim; let me introduce him to you. I'm sure you'll like + him. There's nothing he don't know.” + </p> + <p> + Miss Pilgrim had just come to the newel post of the staircase, and when + she looked into Daniel's face blushed like the red, red rose, losing her + self-possession perceptibly more than Daniel. + </p> + <p> + The courage of weak warriors and timid gallants mounts as the opposite + party's falls, and Daniel made out to say, in a firm tone, that it was + long since he had enjoyed the pleasure of meeting Miss Pilgrim. + </p> + <p> + “Not since Mrs. Cramcroud's last sociable, I think,” replied Miss Pilgrim, + her cheeks and eyes still playing the telltale. + </p> + <p> + “Oho! so you don't want any introduction,” exclaimed Master Billy. I + didn't know you knew each other, Lottie.” + </p> + <p> + “I have met Mr. Lovegrove in society. Shall we go and join in the plays?” + </p> + <p> + “To be sure we shall!” cried Billy. “You needn't mind; all the grown + people are going to.” + </p> + <p> + On entering the parlor we found it as he had said. The guests being almost + all well acquainted with each other, at the solicitation of jolly little + Mrs. Bloomingal, Sister Lu had consented to make a pleasant Christmas kind + of time of it, in which everybody was permitted to be young again and romp + with the rompiest. We played Blindman's-buff till we tired of that—Daniel, + to Lu's great delight, coming out splendidly as Blindman, and evincing + such “cheek” in the style he hunted down and caught the ladies, as + satisfied me that nothing but his sight stood in the way of his making an + audacious figure in the world. Then a pretty little girl, Tilly Turtelle, + who seemed quite a premature flirt, proposed “Doorkeeper”—a + suggestion accepted with great <i>éclat</i> by all the children, several + grown people assenting. + </p> + <p> + To Billy—quite as much on account of his shining prominence in the + executive faculties of his character, as host—was committed the duty + of counting out the first person to be sent into the hall. There were so + many of us that “Aina-maina-mona-mike” would not go quite around; but with + that promptness of expedient which belongs to genius, Billy instantly + added on “Intery-mintery-cutery-corn,” and the last word of the cabalistic + formula fell upon me, Edward Balbus. I disappeared into the entry amid + peals of happy laughter from both old and young, calling, when the door + opened again to ask me who I wanted, for the pretty, lisping flirt who had + proposed the game. After giving me a coquettish little chirrup of a kiss + and telling me my beard scratched, she bade me, on my return, send out to + her “Mither Billy Lovegrove.” I obeyed her; my youngest nephew retired + and, after a couple of seconds, during which Tilly undoubtedly got what + she proposed the game for, Billy being a great favorite with the little + girls, she came back pouting and blushing, to announce that he wanted Miss + Pilgrim. The young lady showed no mock modesty, but arose at once and + laughingly went out to her youthful admirer, who, as I afterward learned, + embraced her ardently and told her he loved her better than any girl in + the world. As he turned to go back she told him that he might send to her + one of her juvenile cousins, Reginald Rumbullion. Now, whether because on + this youthful Rumbullion's account Billy had suffered the pangs of that + most terrible passion, jealousy, or from his natural enjoyment of playing + practical jokes destructive of all dignity in his elders, Billy marched + into the room, and, having shut the door behind him, paralyzed the crowded + parlor by an announcement that Mr. Daniel Lovegrove was wanted. + </p> + <p> + I was standing at his side and could feel him' tremble—see him turn + pale. + </p> + <p> + “Dear me!” he whispered, in a choking voice; “can she mean me?” + </p> + <p> + “Of course she does,” said I. “Who else? Do you hesitate? Surely you can't + refuse such an invitation from a lady.” + </p> + <p> + “No; I suppose not,” said he, mechanically. And, amid much laughter from + the disinterested, while the faces of Mrs. Rumbullion and his mother were + spectacles of crimson astonishment, he made his exit from the room. Never + in my life did I so much long for that instrument, described by Mr. Samuel + Weller—a pair of patent, double-million magnifying microscopes of + hex-tery power, to see through a deal door. Instead of this I had to learn + what happened only by report. + </p> + <p> + Lottie Pilgrim was standing under the hall burners with her elbow on the + newel-post, more vividly charming than he had ever seen her before, at + Mrs. Crajncroud's sociable or elsewhere. When startled by the apparition + of Mr. Daniel Lovegrove instead of little Rumbullion whom she was + expecting—she had no time to exclaim or hide her mounting color, + none at all to explain to her own mind the mistake that had occurred, + before his arm was clasped around her waist and his lips so closely + pressed to hers that, through her soft, thick hair she could feel the + throbbing of his temples. As for Daniel, he seemed in a walking dream, + from which he waked to see Miss Pilgrim looking into his eyes with utter, + though not incensed stupefaction,—to stammer, “Forgive me! do + forgive me! I thought you were in, earnest.” + </p> + <p> + “So I was,” she said tremulously, as soon as she could catch her voice, + “in sending for my cousin Reginald.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh dear, what shall I do! Believe me, I was told you wanted me. Let me go + and explain it to mother. She will tell the rest—I couldn't do it—I'd + die of mortification. Oh, that wretched boy Billy!” + </p> + <p> + On the principle already mentioned, his agitation reassured her. + </p> + <p> + “Don't try to explain it now—it may get Billy a scolding. Are there + any but intimate family friends here this evening?” + </p> + <p> + “No—I believe—no—I'm sure,” replied Daniel, collecting + his faculties. + </p> + <p> + “Then I don't mind what they think. Perhaps they'll suppose we've known + each other long; but we'll arrange it by and by. They'll think the more of + it the longer we stay out here—hear them laugh! I must run back now. + I'll send you somebody.” + </p> + <p> + A round of juvenile applause greeted her as she hurried into the parlor, + and a number of grown people smiled quite musically. Her quick woman's wit + told her how to retaliate and divide the embarrassment of the occasion. As + she passed me she said in an undertone: + </p> + <p> + “Answer quick! Who is that fat lady on the sofa who laughed so loud?” + </p> + <p> + “Mrs. Cromwell Craggs,” said I, quietly. + </p> + <p> + Miss Pilgrim made a satirically low courtesy and spoke in a modest but + distinct voice: + </p> + <p> + “I really must be excused for asking. I'm a stranger, you know; but is + there such a lady here as Mrs. Craggs—Mrs. <i>Cromwell</i> Craggs? + For, if so, the present doorkeeper would like to see Mrs. Cromwell + Craggs.” + </p> + <p> + Then came the turn of the fat lady to be laughed at; but out she had to go + and get kissed like the rest of us. Before the close of the evening Billy + was made as jealous as his parents and I were surprised to see Daniel in + close conversation with Miss Pilgrim among the geraniums and fuchsias of + the conservatory. + </p> + <p> + “A regular flirtation,” said Billy, somewhat indignantly. The conclusion + which they arrived at was that after all no great harm had been done, and + that the dear little fellow ought not to be peached on for his fun. If I + had known at the time how easily they forgave him, I should have suspected + that the offence Billy had led Daniel into committing was not unlikely to + be repeated on the offender's own account; but so much as I could see + showed me that the ice was broken. + </p> + <p> + Billy's jealousy did not outlast the party. He became more and more + interested in “his girl,” and often went in the afternoon, after getting + out of school, ostensibly to play with Jimmy. Daniel's calls, according to + adult etiquette, made in the evening, did not interfere with my younger + nephew's, and as neither knew that the other, after his fashion, was his + most uncompromising rival, my position, as the confidant of both, was one + of extreme delicacy. But the matter was more speedily settled than I + expected. + </p> + <p> + Billy came to me one day and told me that he intended to get married + immediately; that he was going to speak to his Lottie that very afternoon. + He was prepared to meet every objection. He had asked his father if he + might, and his father said yes, if he had money enough to support a wife—and + Billy thought he had. He'd saved up all the money his Uncle Jim and Aunt + Jane had sent him for Christmas; and besides, if he were once married, his + father wouldn't see him want for stamps, he knew. Then, too, he was going + to leave school and be a merchant next year—and I'd help him now and + then, if he got hard up, wouldn't I? If he were driven to it, he could be + a good boy again, and save up the money to buy Lottie presents with, + instead of giving it to nasty old “Objecks.” He was so much older than + when he had the savings-bank that he ought to have at least ten cents a + day now for being good; didn't I think that was fair? As to his age, if + Lottie loved him, he didn't care—anyway he would be lots bigger than + she was before long—and he'd often heard his ma say she approved of + early marriages; hers and pa's was one. So he ran off up Livingston Place, + the most undaunted lover that ever put an extra shine on his proposal + boots, or spent half an hour on the bow of his popping necktie. + </p> + <p> + Shortly after, Daniel went into the street. Not meaning to call upon his + <i>inamorata</i>, but drawn by the irresistible fascination of passing her + house, he strolled in the direction that Billy had gone. As he came to the + Rumbullions', something suddenly bade him enter—a whim he called it, + but not his own—one of the whims of destiny which are always + gratified. + </p> + <p> + “Yes, sir,” said the servant, “Miss Pilgrim is in, I will call her.” + </p> + <p> + His step was always light. He passed noiselessly into the front parlor and + sat down among the heavy brocatelle curtains which shadowed the recess of + one of the windows. He supposed Miss Pilgrim to be upstairs, and while his + heart fluttered, expecting her footfall at the particular door, he heard + an earnest boyish voice in the inside room. Looking from his concealment + he beheld Miss Pilgrim on a sofa in the pier and sitting by her side, with + her hand clasped in his, his brother Billy. Before he could avoid it, he + became aware that Billy was unconsciously but eagerly forestalling him. + </p> + <p> + “Now, Lottie, my dear Lottie! I wish you would! I'll do everything I can + to make you happy. If you'll only marry me, I'll be good all the time! + Come now! Say yes! Father's got a really nice place over the stable—they + only use it for a tool room now; we could clear it out and have it + scrubbed and go to housekeeping right away. Ma'd let us have all her old + set of chinai I've got a silver mug Uncle Teddy gave me and a napkin ring + and four spoons. As soon as I make my money I'll buy a nice carriage and + horses, any color you want 'em. Oh, my darling, darling Lottie, I do love + you so much and we could have such a splendid time! Do say yes, Lottie—please, + <i>do</i> please!” + </p> + <p> + Miss Pilgrim looked at the earnest little suitor with a face in which + tender interest and compassion quite overrode any sense of the + whimsicality of the situation which might lurk there. Daniel's + astonishment at the sight was so great that he realized the entire state + of the case before he could recover himself sufficiently to rise and go + into the back room. + </p> + <p> + Billy jumped up and looked defiantly at the intruder. Miss Pilgrim blushed + violently, but turned away her head to avoid the exhibition of a still + more convulsing emotion than embarrassment. + </p> + <p> + “I must beg your pardon, Miss Pilgrim—and yours, too, Billy,” began + Daniel in a hesitating way, hardly knowing how to treat the posture in + which he found things, “but—you see—the fact is the servant + said she'd go to announce me—and really when I came in, I hadn't any + idea you were here, or Billy either.” + </p> + <p> + “Then,” said Billy, moderating the defiant attitude, “you actually weren't + dodging around and trying to find out what Lottie and I were about on the + sly? Well, I'll believe you. I'm sure you couldn't be as mean as that, + when I'm the only brother you have got, that always brings you oranges + when you're sick, and never plays ball on the stairs when you've got a + headache. Now, then, I'll trust you, I've been asking Lottie to marry me, + and I want you to help me. Ask her if she won't, Daniel—see if she + won't do it for you!” + </p> + <p> + Miss Pilgrim had been trying to find words, but her face was too much for + her and she was obliged to seek retirement in her handkerchief. As she + drew it from her pocket, a well-worn piece of paper followed it and fell + upon the floor. Billy picked it up before she noticed it, and was about to + hand it to her, when his jealous eye fell upon a withered rosebud sewed to + its margin. As he looked at it, with his little brows knit into a + precocious sternness, he recognized his brother's handwriting immediately + beneath the flower. It was one of the daily anonymous sonnets, of which + Daniel had told me, and the bud a relic of the bouquet accompanying it. + Still Daniel was silent. What else could he be? + </p> + <p> + “Very well, very well, Master Daniel!” exclaimed Billy, in a voice + trembling with grief and indignation, “there's good enough reason why you + won't speak a word for me. You want her yourself—here it is in your + own writing. No wonder you won't tell Lottie to be my wife, when you're + trying to take her away from me. Oh, Lottie, dear Lottie! I love you just + as much as he does, though I don't know everything and can't write you + poetry like it was out of the Fifth Reader! Daniel, how could you go and + write to my Lottie this way: 'My churner'—no, it isn't churner, it's + charmer,—'let me call thee mine'?” + </p> + <p> + Forgetting the sacredness of private MS. in that of private grief, he + would have gone on, with a pause here and there for certainty of spelling, + to the conclusion of the poem, had not Lottie sprung up, with her + imploring face suffused by her discovery, for the first time, of the + identity of her secret lover and the escape of his sonnet from her pocket. + It was too late! There he stood before her unmistakably proved, and + herself unmistakably proving in what estimation she held his verses and + bouquets. + </p> + <p> + “Oh Billy, dear Billy! If you do love me, don't do so!” So exclaiming, she + held out her hand, and Billy put the MS. into it with all the dignity of a + wounded spirit. + </p> + <p> + “Mr. Lovegrove,” said Miss Pilgrim, “I don't know what to say.” + </p> + <p> + “I feel very much that way myself,” said Daniel. + </p> + <p> + “<i>I</i> don't,” said Billy, now in command of his voice. “I'll tell you + what it is: perhaps Daniel didn't know how much I wanted you, Lottie—and + perhaps he wants you 'most as bad as I do. But whatever way it is, I want + you to choose between us, fair and square, and no dodging. Come now! You + can take just whichever one of us you please, and the other won't lay up + any grudge, though I know if that's me, or like me, he'll feel awful. You + can have till to-morrow morning to make up your mind between me and + Daniel, and if he won't say anything about it to pa and ma till then, I + won't. Good-by, <i>dear</i> Lottie!” + </p> + <p> + He drew her face down to his, kissed her almost affectionately and then + marched out of the door, feeling, as he afterward told me, as if he had + blackened his boots all for nothing. Ah me! my dear Billy, how many times + we do that in this world! Of what followed when Daniel and Miss Pilgrim + were left alone, I have never had full details. + </p> + <p> + But I do know that the young lady obeyed Billy and made her choice. Six + months after that both my nephews stood up in Mrs. Rumbullion's parlor to + take their several shares in a ceremony in which Miss Pilgrim was the + central figure when it began, and Mrs. Daniel Lovegrove when it concluded. + Time and elasticity of boyhood had so closed the sharp but evanescent + wound in Billy's heart that he could stand the trial of being groomsman + where he had wanted to be groom—more especially since he was + supported through the emergency by a little sister of Lottie's who + promised to be wondrously like her by the time Billy could stand up in the + more enviable capacity. Neither Daniel nor Lottie would listen to any + objection to such a groomsman on the score of his extreme youth, for, as + they said, Billy had been quite as instrumental in bringing them together + as any agent, save the Divinity shaping the ends and tying all the knots + in which there are heartstrings concerned, as well as white ribbon. + </p> + <p> + Since then Lu has stopped wishing that Billy were like Daniel, for she + says that if he had been, there would never have been any Mrs. Daniel + Lovegrove in the world. + </p> + <div style="height: 6em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Brace Of Boys, by Fitz Hugh Ludlow + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A BRACE OF BOYS *** + +***** This file should be named 23170-h.htm or 23170-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/3/1/7/23170/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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