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+ <title>The Creature from Cleveland Depths, by Fritz Leiber.</title>
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+<pre>
+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Creature from Cleveland Depths, by
+Fritz Reuter Leiber
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Creature from Cleveland Depths
+
+Author: Fritz Reuter Leiber
+
+Release Date: October 24, 2007 [EBook #23164]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE CREATURE FROM CLEVELAND DEPTHS ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Greg Weeks, Barbara Tozier and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+ <div class="transcriber_note">
+ <p>Transcriber&#8217;s Note: This etext was produced from <cite>Galaxy</cite> December
+ 1962. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the
+ U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.</p>
+ <p>Corrections are indicated by a dotted underline, like <ins title="original reading">this</ins>.</p>
+ </div>
+ <p id="the_beginning">&nbsp;</p>
+ <p class="prolog"><a class="pagenum" id="page9" title="9"></a>Here is a modern tale of an
+ inner-directed sorcerer and
+ an outer-directed sorcerer&#8217;s
+ apprentice &#8230; a tale of&#8212;</p>
+
+ <h1>THE<br />
+ <span class="fancy">CREATURE</span><br />
+ FROM<br />
+ CLEVELAND DEPTHS</h1>
+
+ <p class="author">By FRITZ LEIBER</p>
+
+ <p class="illustrator">Illustrated by WOOD</p>
+
+ <p class="post_break"><span class="first_word">&#8220;Come</span> on, Gussy,&#8221; Fay prodded
+ quietly, &#8220;quit stalking
+ around like a neurotic bear and
+ suggest something for my invention
+ team to work on. I enjoy
+ visiting you and Daisy, but I
+ can&#8217;t stay aboveground all night.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;If being outside the shelters
+ makes you nervous, don&#8217;t come
+ around any more,&#8221; Gusterson
+ told him, continuing to stalk.
+ &#8220;Why doesn&#8217;t your invention
+ team think of something to invent?
+ Why don&#8217;t you? Hah!&#8221; In
+ the &#8220;Hah!&#8221; lay triumphant condemnation
+ of a whole way of life.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;We do,&#8221; Fay responded imperturbably,
+ &#8220;but a fresh viewpoint sometimes helps.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I&#8217;ll say it does! Fay, you burglar,
+ I&#8217;ll bet you&#8217;ve got twenty
+ people like myself you milk for
+ free ideas. First you irritate their
+ bark and then you make the
+ <a class="pagenum" id="page10" title="10"></a>rounds every so often to draw off
+ the latex or the maple gloop.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Fay smiled. &#8220;It ought to please
+ you that society still has a use
+ for you outre inner-directed
+ types. It takes something to make
+ a junior executive stay aboveground
+ after dark, when the missiles
+ are on the prowl.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Society can&#8217;t have much use
+ for <ins title="use">us</ins> or it&#8217;d pay us something,&#8221;
+ Gusterson sourly asserted, staring
+ blankly at the tankless TV
+ and kicking it lightly as he
+ passed on.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;No, you&#8217;re wrong about that,
+ Gussy. Money&#8217;s not the key goad
+ with you inner-directeds. I got
+ that straight from our Motivations
+ chief.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Did he tell you what we
+ should use instead to pay the grocer?
+ A deep inner sense of
+ achievement, maybe? Fay, why
+ should I do any free thinking for
+ Micro Systems?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I&#8217;ll tell you why, Gussy. Simply
+ because you get a kick out of
+ insulting us with sardonic ideas.
+ If we take one of them seriously,
+ you think we&#8217;re degrading ourselves,
+ and that pleases you even
+ more. Like making someone
+ laugh at a lousy pun.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p class="post_break"><span class="first_word">Gusterson</span> held still in his
+ roaming and grinned. &#8220;That
+ the reason, huh? I suppose my
+ suggestions would have to be
+ something in the line of ultra-subminiaturized
+ computers,
+ where one sinister fine-etched
+ molecule does the work of three
+ big bumbling brain cells?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Not necessarily. Micro Systems
+ is branching out. Wheel as
+ free as a rogue star. But I&#8217;ll pass
+ along to Promotion your one
+ molecule-three brain cell sparkler.
+ It&#8217;s a slight exaggeration,
+ but it&#8217;s catchy.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I&#8217;ll have my kids watch your
+ ads to see if you use it and then
+ I&#8217;ll sue the whole underworld.&#8221;
+ Gusterson frowned as he resumed
+ his stalking. He stared puzzledly
+ at the antique TV. &#8220;How about
+ inventing a plutonium termite?&#8221;
+ he said suddenly. &#8220;It would get
+ rid of those stockpiles that are
+ worrying you moles to death.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Fay grimaced noncommittally
+ and cocked his head.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Well, then, how about a
+ beauty mask? How about that,
+ hey? I don&#8217;t mean one to repair
+ a woman&#8217;s complexion, but one
+ she&#8217;d wear all the time that&#8217;d
+ make her look like a 17-year-old
+ sexpot. That&#8217;d end <em>her</em> worries.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Hey, that&#8217;s for me,&#8221; Daisy
+ called from the kitchen. &#8220;I&#8217;ll
+ make Gusterson suffer. I&#8217;ll make
+ him crawl around on his hands
+ and knees begging my immature
+ favors.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <div class="image"><a class="pagenum" id="page11" title="11"></a>
+ <img src="images/illo-1.jpg" width="400" height="548" alt="A montage: A fellow holding a gun on a man; a man and a woman nearly kissing; a one-eyed robot tearing up paper." />
+ </div>
+
+ <p>&#8220;No, you won&#8217;t,&#8221; Gusterson
+ called back. &#8220;You having a face
+ like that would scare the kids.
+ Better cancel that one, Fay. Half
+ <a class="pagenum" id="page12" title="12"></a>the adult race looking like Vina
+ Vidarsson is too awful a
+ thought.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Yah, you&#8217;re just scared of
+ making a million dollars,&#8221; Daisy
+ jeered.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I sure am,&#8221; Gusterson said
+ solemnly, scanning the fuzzy
+ floor from one murky glass wall
+ to the other, hesitating at the TV.
+ &#8220;How about something homey
+ now, like a flock of little prickly
+ cylinders that roll around the
+ floor collecting lint and flub?
+ They&#8217;d work by electricity, or at
+ a pinch cats could bat &#8217;em
+ around. Every so often they&#8217;d be
+ automatically herded together
+ and the lint cleaned off the
+ bristles.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;No good,&#8221; Fay said. &#8220;There&#8217;s
+ no lint underground and cats are
+ <em>verboten</em>. And the aboveground
+ market doesn&#8217;t amount to more
+ moneywise than the state of
+ Southern Illinois. Keep it
+ grander, Gussy, and more impractical&#8212;you
+ can&#8217;t sell people
+ merely useful ideas.&#8221; From his
+ hassock in the center of the room
+ he looked uneasily around. &#8220;Say,
+ did that violet tone in the glass
+ come from the high Cleveland
+ hydrogen bomb or is it just age
+ and ultraviolet, like desert glass?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p class="post_break"><span class="first_word">&#8220;No</span>, somebody&#8217;s grandfather
+ liked it that color,&#8221; Gusterson
+ informed him with happy
+ bitterness. &#8220;I like it too&#8212;the
+ glass, I mean, not the tint. People
+ who live in glass houses can see
+ the stars&#8212;especially when
+ there&#8217;s a window-washing streak
+ in their germ-plasm.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Gussy, why don&#8217;t you move
+ underground?&#8221; Fay asked, his
+ voice taking on a missionary
+ note. &#8220;It&#8217;s a lot easier living in
+ one room, believe me. You don&#8217;t
+ have to tramp from room to room
+ hunting things.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I like the exercise,&#8221; Gusterson
+ said stoutly.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;But I bet Daisy&#8217;d prefer it
+ underground. And your kids
+ wouldn&#8217;t have to explain why
+ their father lives like a Red Indian.
+ Not to mention the safety
+ factor and insurance savings and
+ a crypt church within easy slidewalk
+ distance. Incidentally, we
+ see the stars all the time, better
+ than you do&#8212;by repeater.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Stars by repeater,&#8221; Gusterson
+ murmured to the ceiling, pausing
+ for God to comment. Then, &#8220;No,
+ Fay, even if I could afford it&#8212;and
+ stand it&#8212;I&#8217;m such a
+ bad-luck Harry that just when
+ I got us all safely stowed at
+ the N minus 1 sublevel, the
+ Soviets would discover an
+ earthquake bomb that struck
+ from below, and I&#8217;d have to follow
+ everybody back to the treetops.
+ <em>Hey! How about bubble
+ homes in orbit around earth?</em>
+ Micro Systems could subdivide
+ the world&#8217;s most spacious suburb
+ <a class="pagenum" id="page13" title="13"></a>and all you moles could go ellipsing.
+ Space is as safe as there is:
+ no air, no shock waves. Free fall&#8217;s
+ the ultimate in restfulness&#8212;great
+ health benefits. Commute
+ by rocket&#8212;or better yet stay
+ home and do all your business by
+ TV-telephone, or by waldo if it
+ were that sort of thing. Even pet
+ your girl by remote control&#8212;she
+ in her bubble, you in yours,
+ whizzing through vacuum. Oh,
+ damn-damn-<em>damn</em>-<em>damn</em>-DAMN!&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>He was glaring at the blank
+ screen of the TV, his big hands
+ clenching and unclenching.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Don&#8217;t let Fay give you apoplexy&#8212;he&#8217;s
+ not worth it,&#8221; Daisy
+ said, sticking her trim head in
+ from the kitchen, while Fay inquired
+ anxiously, &#8220;Gussy, what&#8217;s
+ the matter?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Nothing, you worm!&#8221; Gusterson
+ roared, &#8220;Except that an hour
+ ago I forgot to tune in on the only
+ TV program I&#8217;ve wanted to hear
+ this year&#8212;<em>Finnegans Wake</em>
+ scored for English, Gaelic and
+ brogue. Oh, damn-<em>damn</em>-DAMN!&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Too bad,&#8221; Fay said lightly. &#8220;I
+ didn&#8217;t know they were releasing
+ it on flat TV too.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p class="post_break"><span class="first_word">&#8220;Well</span>, they were! Some
+ things are too damn big
+ to keep completely underground.
+ And I had to forget! I&#8217;m always
+ doing it&#8212;I miss everything!
+ Look here, you rat,&#8221; he blatted
+ suddenly at Fay, shaking his
+ finger under the latter&#8217;s chin, &#8220;I&#8217;ll
+ tell you what you can have that
+ ignorant team of yours invent.
+ They can fix me up a mechanical
+ secretary that I can feed orders
+ into and that&#8217;ll remind me when
+ the exact moment comes to listen
+ to TV or phone somebody or
+ mail in a story or write a letter
+ or pick up a magazine or look at
+ an eclipse or a new orbiting station
+ or fetch the kids from school
+ or buy Daisy a bunch of flowers
+ or whatever it is. It&#8217;s got to be
+ something that&#8217;s always with me,
+ not something I have to go and
+ consult or that I can get sick of
+ and put down somewhere. And
+ it&#8217;s got to remind me forcibly
+ enough so that I take notice and
+ don&#8217;t just shrug it aside, like I
+ sometimes do even when Daisy
+ reminds me of things. That&#8217;s
+ what your stupid team can invent
+ for me! If they do a good job, I&#8217;ll
+ pay &#8217;em as much as fifty dollars!&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;That doesn&#8217;t sound like anything
+ so very original to me,&#8221; Fay
+ commented coolly, leaning back
+ from the wagging finger. &#8220;I think
+ all senior executives have something
+ of that sort. At least, their
+ secretary keeps some kind of
+ file&#8230;.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I&#8217;m not looking for something
+ with spiked falsies and nylons up
+ to the neck,&#8221; interjected Gusterson,
+ whose ideas about secretaries
+ were a trifle lurid. &#8220;I just want a
+ <a class="pagenum" id="page14" title="14"></a>mech reminder&#8212;that&#8217;s all!&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Well, I&#8217;ll keep the idea in
+ mind,&#8221; Fay assured him, &#8220;along
+ with the bubble homes and
+ beauty masks. If we ever develop
+ anything along those lines, I&#8217;ll
+ let you know. If it&#8217;s a beauty
+ mask, I&#8217;ll bring Daisy a pilot
+ model&#8212;to use to scare strange
+ kids.&#8221; He put his watch to his
+ ear. &#8220;Good lord, I&#8217;m going to have
+ to cut to make it underground before
+ the main doors close. Just
+ ten minutes to Second Curfew!
+ &#8217;By, Gus. &#8217;By, Daze.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Two minutes later, living room
+ lights out, they watched Fay&#8217;s
+ foreshortened antlike figure scurrying
+ across the balding ill-lit
+ park toward the nearest escalator.</p>
+
+ <p>Gusterson said, &#8220;Weird to
+ think of that big bright space-poor
+ glamor basement stretching
+ around everywhere underneath.
+ Did you remind Smitty to put a
+ new bulb in the elevator?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;The Smiths moved out this
+ morning,&#8221; Daisy said tonelessly.
+ &#8220;They went underneath.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Like cockroaches,&#8221; Gusterson
+ said. &#8220;Cockroaches leavin&#8217; a
+ sinkin&#8217; apartment building. Next
+ the ghosts&#8217;ll be retreatin&#8217; to the
+ shelters.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Anyhow, from now on we&#8217;re
+ our own janitors,&#8221; Daisy said.</p>
+
+ <p>He nodded. &#8220;Just leaves three
+ families besides us loyal to this
+ glass death trap. Not countin&#8217;
+ ghosts.&#8221; He sighed. Then, &#8220;You
+ like to move below, Daisy?&#8221; he
+ asked softly, putting his arm
+ lightly across her shoulders. &#8220;Get
+ a woozy eyeful of the bright lights
+ and all for a change? Be a rat for
+ a while? Maybe we&#8217;re getting too
+ old to be bats. I could scrounge
+ me a company job and have a
+ thinking closet all to myself and
+ two secretaries with stainless
+ steel breasts. Life&#8217;d be easier for
+ you and a lot cleaner. And you&#8217;d
+ sleep safer.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;That&#8217;s true,&#8221; she answered
+ and paused. She ran her fingertip
+ slowly across the murky glass, its
+ violet tint barely perceptible
+ against a cold dim light across
+ the park. &#8220;But somehow,&#8221; she
+ said, snaking her arm around his
+ waist, &#8220;I don&#8217;t think I&#8217;d sleep
+ happier&#8212;or one bit excited.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <h2>II</h2>
+
+ <p><span class="first_word">Three</span> weeks later Fay, dropping
+ in again, handed to Daisy
+ the larger of the two rather small
+ packages he was carrying.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;It&#8217;s a so-called beauty mask,&#8221;
+ he told her, &#8220;complete with wig,
+ eyelashes, and wettable velvet
+ lips. It even breathes&#8212;pinholed
+ elastiskin with a static adherence-charge.
+ But Micro Systems had
+ nothing to do with it, thank God.
+ Beauty Trix put it on the market
+ ten days ago and it&#8217;s already
+ started a teen-age craze. Some
+ <a class="pagenum" id="page15" title="15"></a>boys are wearing them too, and
+ the police are yipping at Trix for
+ encouraging transvestism with
+ psychic repercussions.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Didn&#8217;t I hear somewhere that
+ Trix is a secret subsidiary of
+ Micro?&#8221; Gusterson demanded,
+ rearing up from his ancient electric
+ typewriter. &#8220;No, you&#8217;re not
+ stopping me writing, Fay&#8212;it&#8217;s
+ the gut of evening. If I do any
+ more I won&#8217;t have any juice to
+ start with tomorrow. I got another
+ of my insanity thrillers
+ moving. A real id-teaser. In this
+ one not only all the characters
+ are crazy but the robot psychiatrist
+ too.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;The vending machines are
+ jumping with insanity novels,&#8221;
+ Fay commented. &#8220;Odd they&#8217;re so
+ popular.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Gusterson chortled. &#8220;The only
+ way you outer-directed moles
+ will accept individuality any
+ more even in a fictional character,
+ without your superegos getting
+ seasick, is for them to be
+ crazy. Hey, Daisy! Lemme see
+ that beauty mask!&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>But his wife, backing out of
+ the room, hugged the package to
+ her bosom and solemnly shook
+ her head.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;A hell of a thing,&#8221; Gusterson
+ complained, &#8220;not even to be able
+ to see what my stolen ideas look
+ like.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I got a present for you too,&#8221;
+ Fay said. &#8220;Something you might
+ think of as a royalty on all the
+ inventions someone thought of a
+ little ahead of you. Fifty dollars
+ by your own evaluation.&#8221; He held
+ out the smaller package. &#8220;Your
+ tickler.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;My <em>what?</em>&#8221; Gusterson demanded
+ suspiciously.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Your tickler. The mech reminder
+ you wanted. It turns out
+ that the file a secretary keeps to
+ remind her boss to do certain
+ things at certain times is called
+ a tickler file. So we named this
+ a tickler. Here.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Gusterson still didn&#8217;t touch the
+ package. &#8220;You mean you actually
+ put your invention team to work
+ on that nonsense?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Well, what do you think?
+ Don&#8217;t be scared of it. Here, I&#8217;ll
+ show you.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>As he unwrapped the package,
+ Fay said, &#8220;It hasn&#8217;t been decided
+ yet whether we&#8217;ll manufacture it
+ commercially. If we do, I&#8217;ll put
+ through a voucher for you&#8212;for
+ &#8216;development consultation&#8217; or
+ something like that. Sorry no royalty&#8217;s
+ possible. Davidson&#8217;s squad
+ had started to work up the identical
+ idea three years ago, but it
+ got shelved. I found it on a snoop
+ through the closets. There! Looks
+ rich, doesn&#8217;t it?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p class="post_break"><span class="first_word">On the</span> scarred black tabletop
+ was a dully gleaming
+ silvery object about the size and
+ shape of a cupped hand with fingers
+ <a class="pagenum" id="page16" title="16"></a>merging. A tiny pellet on a
+ short near-invisible wire led off
+ from it. On the back was a punctured
+ area suggesting the face of
+ a microphone; there was also a
+ window with a date and time in
+ hours and minutes showing
+ through and next to that four
+ little buttons in a row. The concave
+ underside of the silvery
+ &#8220;hand&#8221; was smooth except for a
+ central area where what looked
+ like two little rollers came
+ through.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;It goes on your shoulder under
+ your shirt,&#8221; Fay explained,
+ &#8220;and you tuck the pellet in your
+ ear. We might work up bone conduction
+ on a commercial model.
+ Inside is an ultra-slow fine-wire
+ recorder holding a spool that
+ runs for a week. The clock lets
+ you go to any place on the 7-day
+ wire and record a message. The
+ buttons give you variable speed
+ in going there, so you don&#8217;t waste
+ too much time making a setting.
+ There&#8217;s a knack in fingering them
+ efficiently, but it&#8217;s easily acquired.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Fay picked up the tickler. &#8220;For
+ instance, suppose there&#8217;s a TV
+ show you want to catch tomorrow
+ night at twenty-two hundred.&#8221;
+ He touched the buttons.
+ There was the faintest whirring.
+ The clock face blurred briefly
+ three times before showing the
+ setting he&#8217;d mentioned. Then Fay
+ spoke into the punctured area:
+ &#8220;Turn on TV Channel Two, you
+ big dummy!&#8221; He grinned over at
+ Gusterson. &#8220;When you&#8217;ve got all
+ your instructions to yourself
+ loaded in, you synchronize with
+ the present moment and let her
+ roll. Fit it on your shoulder and
+ forget it. Oh, yes, and it literally
+ does tickle you every time it delivers
+ an instruction. That&#8217;s what
+ the little rollers are for. Believe
+ me, you can&#8217;t ignore it. Come on,
+ Gussy, take off your shirt and try
+ it out. We&#8217;ll feed in some instructions
+ for the next ten minutes so
+ you get the feel of how it works.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I don&#8217;t want to,&#8221; Gusterson
+ said. &#8220;Not right now. I want to
+ sniff around it first. My God, it&#8217;s
+ small! Besides everything else it
+ does, does it think?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Don&#8217;t pretend to be an idiot,
+ Gussy! You know very well that
+ even with ultra-sub-micro nothing
+ quite this small can possibly have
+ enough elements to do any thinking.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Gusterson shrugged. &#8220;I don&#8217;t
+ know about that. I think bugs
+ think.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p class="post_break"><span class="first_word">Fay</span> groaned faintly. &#8220;Bugs operate
+ by instinct, Gussy,&#8221; he
+ said. &#8220;A patterned routine. They
+ do not scan situations and consequences
+ and then make decisions.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I don&#8217;t expect bugs to make
+ decisions,&#8221; Gusterson said. &#8220;For
+ that matter I don&#8217;t like people
+ <a class="pagenum" id="page17" title="17"></a>who go around alla time making
+ decisions.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Well, you can take it from me,
+ Gussy, that this tickler is just a
+ miniaturized wire recorder and
+ clock &#8230; and a tickler. It doesn&#8217;t
+ do anything else.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Not yet, maybe,&#8221; Gusterson
+ said darkly. &#8220;Not this model. Fay,
+ I&#8217;m serious about bugs thinking.
+ Or if they don&#8217;t exactly think,
+ they feel. They&#8217;ve got an interior
+ drama. An inner glow. They&#8217;re
+ conscious. For that matter, Fay,
+ I think all your really complex
+ electronic computers are conscious
+ too.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Quit kidding, Gussy.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Who&#8217;s kidding?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;You are. Computers simply
+ aren&#8217;t alive.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;What&#8217;s alive? A word. I think
+ computers are conscious, at least
+ while they&#8217;re operating. They&#8217;ve
+ got that inner glow of awareness.
+ They sort of &#8230; well &#8230; meditate.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Gussy, computers haven&#8217;t got
+ any circuits for meditating.
+ They&#8217;re not programmed for
+ mystical lucubrations. They&#8217;ve
+ just got circuits for solving the
+ problems they&#8217;re on.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Okay, you admit they&#8217;ve got
+ problem-solving circuits&#8212;like
+ a man has. I say if they&#8217;ve got the
+ equipment for being conscious,
+ they&#8217;re conscious. What has
+ wings, flies.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Including stuffed owls and
+ gilt eagles and dodoes&#8212;and
+ wood-burning airplanes?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Maybe, under some circumstances.
+ There <em>was</em> a wood-burning
+ airplane. Fay,&#8221; Gusterson
+ continued, wagging his wrists for
+ emphasis, &#8220;I really think computers
+ are conscious. They just don&#8217;t
+ have any way of telling us that
+ they are. Or maybe they don&#8217;t
+ have any <em>reason</em> to tell us, like
+ the little Scotch boy who didn&#8217;t
+ say a word until he was fifteen
+ and was supposed to be deaf and
+ dumb.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Why didn&#8217;t he say a word?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Because he&#8217;d never had anything
+ to say. Or take those Hindu
+ fakirs, Fay, who sit still and don&#8217;t
+ say a word for thirty years or
+ until their fingernails grow to the
+ next village. If Hindu fakirs can
+ do that, computers can!&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Looking as if he were masticating
+ a lemon, Fay asked quietly,
+ &#8220;Gussy, did you say you&#8217;re working
+ on an insanity novel?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p class="post_break"><span class="first_word">Gusterson</span> frowned fiercely.
+ &#8220;Now you&#8217;re kidding,&#8221; he accused
+ Fay. &#8220;The dirty kind of
+ kidding, too.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I&#8217;m sorry,&#8221; Fay said with light
+ contrition. &#8220;Well, now you&#8217;ve
+ sniffed at it, how about trying on
+ Tickler?&#8221; He picked up the
+ gleaming blunted crescent and
+ jogged it temptingly under Gusterson&#8217;s
+ chin.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Why should I?&#8221; Gusterson
+ <a class="pagenum" id="page18" title="18"></a>asked, stepping back. &#8220;Fay, I&#8217;m
+ up to my ears writing a book. The
+ last thing I want is something interrupting
+ me to make me listen
+ to a lot of junk and do a lot of
+ useless things.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;But, dammit, Gussy! It was
+ all your idea in the first place!&#8221;
+ Fay blatted. Then, catching himself,
+ he added, &#8220;I mean, you were
+ one of the first people to think of
+ this particular sort of instrument.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Maybe so, but I&#8217;ve done some
+ more thinking since then.&#8221; Gusterson&#8217;s
+ voice grew a trifle solemn.
+ &#8220;Inner-directed worthwhile thinkin&#8217;.
+ Fay, when a man forgets to
+ do something, it&#8217;s because he
+ really doesn&#8217;t want to do it or
+ because he&#8217;s all roiled up down
+ in his unconscious. He ought to
+ take it as a danger signal and
+ investigate the roiling, not hire
+ himself a human or mech reminder.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Bushwa,&#8221; Fay retorted. &#8220;In
+ that case you shouldn&#8217;t write
+ memorandums or even take
+ notes.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Maybe I shouldn&#8217;t,&#8221; Gusterson
+ agreed lamely. &#8220;I&#8217;d have to
+ think that over too.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Ha!&#8221; Fay jeered. &#8220;No, I&#8217;ll tell
+ you what your trouble is, Gussy.
+ You&#8217;re simply scared of this contraption.
+ You&#8217;ve loaded your
+ skull with horror-story nonsense
+ about machines sprouting minds
+ and taking over the world&#8212;until
+ you&#8217;re even scared of a simple
+ miniaturized and clocked recorder.&#8221;
+ He thrust it out.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Maybe I am,&#8221; Gusterson admitted,
+ controlling a flinch. &#8220;Honestly,
+ Fay, that thing&#8217;s got a
+ gleam in its eye as if it had ideas
+ of its own. Nasty ideas.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Gussy, you nut, it hasn&#8217;t <em>got</em>
+ an eye.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Not now, no, but it&#8217;s got the
+ gleam&#8212;the eye may come. It&#8217;s
+ the <ins title="Chesire">Cheshire</ins> cat in reverse. If
+ you&#8217;d step over here and look at
+ yourself holding it, you could see
+ what I mean. But I don&#8217;t think
+ computers <em>sprout</em> minds, Fay. I
+ just think they&#8217;ve <em>got</em> minds, because
+ they&#8217;ve got the mind elements.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Ho, ho!&#8221; Fay mocked. &#8220;Everything
+ that has a material side has
+ a mental side,&#8221; he chanted.
+ &#8220;Everything that&#8217;s a body is also
+ a spirit. Gussy, that dubious old
+ metaphysical dualism went out
+ centuries ago.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Maybe so,&#8221; Gusterson said,
+ &#8220;but we still haven&#8217;t anything but
+ that dubious dualism to explain
+ the human mind, have we? It&#8217;s a
+ jelly of nerve cells and it&#8217;s a
+ vision of the cosmos. If that isn&#8217;t
+ dualism, what is?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I give up. Gussy, are you going
+ to try out this tickler?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;No!&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;But dammit, Gussy, we made
+ it just for you!&#8212;practically.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Sorry, but I&#8217;m not coming
+ near the thing.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p><a class="pagenum" id="page19" title="19"></a>&#8220;<ins title="&rsquo;Zen">Zen</ins> come near me,&#8221; a husky
+ voice intoned behind them. &#8220;Tonight
+ I vant a man.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p class="post_break"><span class="first_word">Standing</span> in the door was
+ something slim in a short
+ silver sheath. It had golden bangs
+ and the haughtiest snub-nosed
+ face in the world. It slunk toward
+ them.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;My God, Vina Vidarsson!&#8221;
+ Gusterson yelled.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Daisy, that&#8217;s terrific,&#8221; Fay applauded,
+ going up to her.</p>
+
+ <p>She bumped him aside with a
+ swing of her hips, continuing to
+ advance. &#8220;Not you, Ratty,&#8221; she
+ said throatily. &#8220;I vant a real
+ man.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Fay, I suggested Vina Vidarsson&#8217;s
+ face for the beauty mask,&#8221;
+ Gusterson said, walking around
+ his wife and shaking a finger.
+ &#8220;Don&#8217;t tell me Trix just happened
+ to think of that too.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;What else could they think
+ of?&#8221; Fay laughed. &#8220;This season
+ sex means VV and nobody else.&#8221;
+ An odd little grin flicked his lips,
+ a tic traveled up his face and his
+ body twitched slightly. &#8220;Say, folks,
+ I&#8217;m going to have to be leaving.
+ It&#8217;s exactly fifteen minutes to
+ Second Curfew. Last time I had
+ to run and I got heartburn. When
+ <em>are</em> you people going to move
+ downstairs? I&#8217;ll leave Tickler,
+ Gussy. Play around with it and
+ get used to it. &#8217;By now.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Hey, Fay,&#8221; Gusterson called
+ curiously, &#8220;have you developed
+ absolute time sense?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Fay grinned a big grin from
+ the doorway&#8212;almost too big a
+ grin for so small a man. &#8220;I didn&#8217;t
+ need to,&#8221; he said softly, patting
+ his right shoulder. &#8220;My tickler
+ told me.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>He closed the door behind him.</p>
+
+ <p>As side-by-side they watched
+ him strut sedately across the
+ murky chilly-looking park, Gusterson
+ mused, &#8220;So the little devil
+ had one of those nonsense-gadgets
+ on all the time and I never noticed.
+ Can you beat that?&#8221; Something
+ drew across the violet-tinged
+ stars a short bright line that
+ quickly faded. &#8220;What&#8217;s that?&#8221;
+ Gusterson asked gloomily. &#8220;Next
+ to last stage of missile-here?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Won&#8217;t you settle for an old-fashioned
+ shooting star?&#8221; Daisy
+ asked softly. The (wettable) velvet
+ lips of the mask made even
+ her natural voice sound different.
+ She reached a hand back of her
+ neck to pull the thing off.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Hey, don&#8217;t do that,&#8221; Gusterson
+ protested in a hurt voice.
+ &#8220;Not for a while anyway.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Hokay!&#8221; she said harshly,
+ turning on him. &#8220;Zen down on
+ your knees, dog!&#8221;</p>
+
+ <h2>III</h2>
+
+ <p><span class="first_word">It was</span> a fortnight and Gusterson
+ was loping down the home
+ stretch on his 40,000-word insanity
+ <a class="pagenum" id="page20" title="20"></a>novel before Fay dropped
+ in again, this time promptly at
+ high noon.</p>
+
+ <p>Normally Fay cringed his
+ shoulders a trifle and was inclined
+ to slither, but now he
+ strode aggressively, his legs scissoring
+ in a fast, low goosestep. He
+ whipped off the sunglasses that
+ all moles wore topside by day
+ and began to pound Gusterson on
+ the back while calling boisterously,
+ &#8220;How are you, Gussy Old
+ Boy, Old Boy?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Daisy came in from the kitchen
+ to see why Gusterson was
+ choking. She was instantly grabbed
+ and violently bussed to the
+ accompaniment of, &#8220;Hiya, Gorgeous!
+ Yum-yum! How about ad-libbing
+ that some weekend?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>She stared at Fay dazedly,
+ rasping the back of her hand
+ across her mouth, while Gusterson
+ yelled, &#8220;Quit that! What&#8217;s got
+ into you, Fay? Have they transferred
+ you out of R &amp; D to Company
+ Morale? Do they line up
+ all the secretaries at roll call and
+ make you give them an eight-hour
+ energizing kiss?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Ha, wouldn&#8217;t you like to
+ know?<ins class="close quote missing">&#8221;</ins> Fay retorted. He grinned,
+ twitched jumpingly, held still a
+ moment, then hustled over to the
+ far wall. &#8220;Look out there,&#8221; he
+ rapped, pointing through the violet
+ glass at a gap between the two
+ nearest old skyscraper apartments.
+ &#8220;In thirty seconds you&#8217;ll
+ see them test the new needle
+ bomb at the other end of Lake
+ Erie. It&#8217;s educational.&#8221; He began
+ to count off seconds, vigorously
+ semaphoring his arm. &#8220;&#8230; Two
+ &#8230; three &#8230; Gussy, I&#8217;ve put
+ through a voucher for two yards
+ for you. Budgeting squawked, but
+ I pressured &#8217;em.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Daisy squealed, &#8220;Yards!&#8212;are
+ those dollar thousands?&#8221; while
+ Gusterson was asking, &#8220;Then
+ you&#8217;re marketing the tickler?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Yes. Yes,&#8221; Fay replied to
+ them in turn. &#8220;&#8230; Nine &#8230;
+ ten &#8230;&#8221; Again he grinned and
+ twitched. &#8220;Time for noon Com-staff,&#8221;
+ he announced staccato.
+ &#8220;Pardon the hush box.&#8221; He
+ whipped a pancake phone from
+ under his coat, clapped it over his
+ face and spoke fiercely but inaudibly
+ into it, continuing to semaphore.
+ Suddenly he thrust the
+ phone away. &#8220;Twenty-nine &#8230;
+ thirty &#8230; Thar she blows!&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>An incandescent streak shot up
+ the sky from a little above the
+ far horizon and a doubly dazzling
+ point of light appeared just above
+ the top of it, with the effect of
+ God dotting an &#8220;i&#8221;.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Ha, that&#8217;ll skewer espionage
+ satellites like swatting flies!&#8221; Fay
+ proclaimed as the portent faded.
+ &#8220;Bracing! Gussy, where&#8217;s your
+ tickler? I&#8217;ve got a new spool for
+ it that&#8217;ll razzle-dazzle you.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I&#8217;ll bet,&#8221; Gusterson said drily.
+ &#8220;Daisy?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p><a class="pagenum" id="page21" title="21"></a>&#8220;You gave it to the kids and
+ they got to fooling with it and
+ broke it.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;No matter,&#8221; Fay told them
+ with a large sidewise sweep of
+ his hand. &#8220;Better you wait for the
+ new model. It&#8217;s a six-way improvement.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;So I gather,&#8221; Gusterson said,
+ eyeing him speculatively. &#8220;Does
+ it automatically inject you with
+ cocaine? A fix every hour on the
+ second?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Ha-ha, joke. Gussy, it achieves
+ the same effect without using any
+ dope at all. Listen: a tickler reminds
+ you of your duties and opportunities&#8212;your
+ chances for
+ happiness and success! What&#8217;s
+ the obvious next step?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p class="post_break"><span class="first_word">&#8220;Throw</span> it out the window.
+ By the way, how do you do
+ that when you&#8217;re underground?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;We have hi-speed garbage
+ boosts. The obvious next step is
+ you give the tickler a heart. It
+ not only tells you, it warmly persuades
+ you. It doesn&#8217;t just say,
+ &#8216;Turn on the TV Channel Two,
+ Joyce program,&#8217; it <em>brills</em> at you,
+ &#8216;Kid, Old Kid, race for the TV
+ and flip that Two Switch! There&#8217;s
+ a great show coming through the
+ pipes this second plus ten&#8212;you&#8217;ll
+ enjoy the hell out of yourself!
+ Grab a ticket to <ins title="ecstacy">ecstasy</ins>!&#8217;&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;My God,&#8221; Gusterson gasped,
+ &#8220;are those the kind of jolts it&#8217;s
+ giving you now?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Don&#8217;t you get it, Gussy? You
+ never load your tickler except
+ when you&#8217;re feeling buoyantly
+ enthusiastic. You don&#8217;t just tell
+ yourself what to do hour by hour
+ next week, you sell yourself on
+ it. That way you not only make
+ doubly sure you&#8217;ll obey instructions
+ but you constantly reinoculate
+ yourself with your own enthusiasm.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I can&#8217;t stand myself when I&#8217;m
+ that enthusiastic,&#8221; Gusterson said.
+ &#8220;I feel ashamed for hours afterwards.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;You&#8217;re warped&#8212;all this
+ lonely sky-life. What&#8217;s more,
+ Gussy, think how still more persuasive
+ some of those instructions
+ would be if they came to a man
+ in his best girl&#8217;s most bedroomy
+ voice, or his doctor&#8217;s or psycher&#8217;s
+ if it&#8217;s that sort of thing&#8212;or
+ Vina Vidarsson&#8217;s! By the way,
+ Daze, don&#8217;t wear that beauty
+ mask outside. It&#8217;s a grand misdemeanor
+ ever since ten thousand
+ teen-agers rioted through
+ Tunnel-Mart wearing them. And
+ VV&#8217;s sueing Trix.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;No chance of that,&#8221; Daisy said.
+ &#8220;Gusterson got excited and bit
+ off the nose.&#8221; She pinched her
+ own delicately.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I&#8217;d no more obey my enthusiastic
+ self,&#8221; Gusterson was brooding,
+ &#8220;than I&#8217;d obey a Napoleon
+ drunk on his own brandy or a
+ hopped-up St. Francis. Reinoculated
+ with my own enthusiasm?
+ <a class="pagenum" id="page22" title="22"></a>I&#8217;d die just like from snake-bite!&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Warped, I said,&#8221; Fay dogmatized,
+ stamping around. &#8220;Gussy,
+ having the instructions persuasive
+ instead of neutral turned out
+ to be only the opening wedge.
+ The next step wasn&#8217;t so obvious,
+ but I saw it. Using subliminal
+ verbal stimuli in his tickler, a
+ man can be given constant supportive
+ euphoric therapy 24
+ hours a day! And it makes use
+ of all that empty wire. We&#8217;ve revived
+ the ideas of a pioneer dynamic
+ psycher named Dr. Cou&eacute;.
+ For instance, right now my tickler
+ is saying to me&#8212;in tones too
+ soft to reach my conscious mind,
+ but do they stab into the unconscious!&#8212;&#8216;Day
+ by day in every
+ way I&#8217;m getting sharper and
+ sharper.&#8217; It alternates that with
+ &#8216;gutsier and gutsier&#8217; and &#8230; well,
+ forget that. Cou&eacute; mostly used
+ &#8216;better and better&#8217; but that seems
+ too general. And every hundredth
+ time it says them out loud
+ and the tickler <ins title="give">gives</ins> me a brush&#8212;just
+ a faint cootch&#8212;to make
+ sure I&#8217;m keeping in touch.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;That third word-pair,&#8221; Daisy
+ wondered, feeling her mouth
+ reminiscently. &#8220;Could I guess?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p class="post_break"><span class="first_word">Gusterson&#8217;s</span> eyes had been
+ growing wider and wider.
+ &#8220;Fay,&#8221; he said, &#8220;I could no more
+ use my mind for anything if I
+ knew all that was going on in my
+ inner ear than if I were being
+ brushed down with brooms by
+ three witches. Look here,&#8221; he said
+ with loud authority, &#8220;you got to
+ stop all this&#8212;it&#8217;s crazy. Fay, if
+ Micro&#8217;ll junk the tickler, I&#8217;ll
+ think you up something else to
+ invent&#8212;something real good.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Your inventing days are
+ over,&#8221; Fay brilled gleefully. &#8220;I
+ mean, you&#8217;ll never equal your
+ masterpiece.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;How about,&#8221; Gusterson bellowed,
+ &#8220;an anti-individual guided
+ missile? The physicists have got
+ small-scale antigravity good
+ enough to float and fly something
+ the size of a hand grenade.
+ I can smell that even though it&#8217;s
+ a back-of-the-safe military secret.
+ Well, how about keying such a
+ missile to a man&#8217;s finger-prints&#8212;or
+ brainwaves, maybe, or his
+ unique smell!&#8212;so it can spot
+ and follow him around <ins title="the">then</ins> target
+ in on him, without harming anyone
+ else? Long-distance assassination&#8212;and
+ the stinkingest gets
+ it! Or you could simply load it
+ with some disgusting goo and key
+ it to teen-agers as a group&#8212;that&#8217;d
+ take care of them. Fay,
+ doesn&#8217;t it give you a rich warm
+ kick to think of my midget missiles
+ buzzing around in your tunnels,
+ seeking out evil-doers, like
+ a swarm of angry wasps or angelic
+ bumblebees?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;You&#8217;re not luring me down
+ any side trails,&#8221; Fay said laughingly.
+ He grinned and twitched,
+ <a class="pagenum" id="page23" title="23"></a>then hurried toward the opposite
+ wall, motioning them to follow.
+ Outside, about a hundred yards
+ beyond the purple glass, rose another
+ ancient glass-walled apartment
+ skyscraper. Beyond, Lake
+ Erie rippled glintingly.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Another bomb-test?&#8221; Gusterson
+ asked.</p>
+
+ <p>Fay pointed at the building.
+ &#8220;Tomorrow,&#8221; he announced, &#8220;a
+ modern factory, devoted solely to
+ the manufacture of ticklers, will
+ be erected on that site.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;You mean one of those windowless
+ phallic eyesores?&#8221; Gusterson
+ demanded. &#8220;Fay, you people
+ aren&#8217;t even consistent. You&#8217;ve
+ got all your homes underground.
+ Why not your factories?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Sh! Not enough room. And
+ night missiles are scarier.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I know that building&#8217;s been
+ empty for a year,&#8221; Daisy said uneasily,
+ &#8220;but how&#8212;?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Sh! Watch! <em>Now!</em>&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>The looming building seemed
+ to blur or fuzz for a moment.
+ Then it was as if the lake&#8217;s bright
+ ripples had invaded the old glass
+ a hundred yards away. Wavelets
+ chased themselves up and down
+ the gleaming walls, became higher,
+ higher &#8230; and then suddenly
+ the glass cracked all over to tiny
+ fragments and fell away, to be
+ followed quickly by fragmented
+ concrete and plastic and plastic
+ piping, until all that was left was
+ the nude steel framework, vibrating
+ so rapidly as to be almost invisible
+ against the gleaming lake.</p>
+
+ <p class="post_break"><span class="first_word">Daisy covered</span> her ears,
+ but there was no explosion,
+ only a long-drawn-out low crash
+ as the fragments hit twenty floors
+ below and dust whooshed out
+ sideways.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Spectacular!&#8221; Fay summed
+ up. &#8220;Knew you&#8217;d enjoy it. That
+ little trick was first conceived by
+ the great Tesla during his last
+ fruity years. Research discovered
+ it in his biog&#8212;we just made the
+ dream come true. A tiny resonance
+ device you could carry in
+ your belt-bag attunes itself to the
+ natural harmonic of a structure
+ and then increases amplitude by
+ tiny pushes exactly in time. Just
+ like soldiers marching in step can
+ break down a bridge, only this is
+ as if it were being done by one
+ marching ant.&#8221; He pointed at the
+ naked framework appearing out
+ of its own blur and said, &#8220;We&#8217;ll
+ be able to hang the factory on
+ that. If not, we&#8217;ll whip a mega-current
+ through it and vaporize
+ it. No question the micro-resonator
+ is the neatest sweetest wrecking
+ device going. You can expect
+ a lot more of this sort of efficiency
+ now that mankind has the
+ tickler to enable him to use his
+ full potential. What&#8217;s the matter,
+ folks?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Daisy was staring around the
+ violet-walled room with dumb
+ <a class="pagenum" id="page24" title="24"></a>mistrust. Her hands were trembling.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;You don&#8217;t have to worry,&#8221;
+ Fay assured her with an understanding
+ laugh. &#8220;This building&#8217;s
+ safe for a month more at least.&#8221;
+ Suddenly he grimaced and
+ leaped a foot in the air. He raised
+ a clawed hand to scratch his
+ shoulder but managed to check
+ the movement. &#8220;Got to beat it,
+ folks,&#8221; he announced tersely. &#8220;My
+ tickler gave me the grand
+ cootch.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Don&#8217;t go yet,&#8221; Gusterson
+ called, rousing himself with a
+ shudder which he immediately
+ explained: &#8220;I just had the illusion
+ that if I shook myself all my
+ flesh and guts would fall off my
+ shimmying skeleton, Brr! Fay,
+ before you and Micro go off half
+ cocked, I want you to know
+ there&#8217;s one insuperable objection
+ to the tickler as a mass-market
+ item. The average man or woman
+ won&#8217;t go to the considerable time
+ and trouble it must take to load
+ a tickler. He simply hasn&#8217;t got
+ the compulsive orderliness and
+ willingness to plan that it requires.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;We thought of that weeks
+ ago,&#8221; Fay rapped, his hand on the
+ door. &#8220;Every tickler spool that
+ goes to market is patterned like
+ wallpaper with one of five designs
+ of suitable subliminal supportive
+ euphoric material. &#8216;Ittier
+ and ittier,&#8217; &#8216;viriler and viriler&#8217;&#8212;you
+ know. The buyer is robot-interviewed
+ for an hour, his personalized
+ daily routine laid out
+ and thereafter templated on his
+ weekly spool. He&#8217;s strongly urged
+ next to take his tickler to his doctor
+ and psycher for further instruction-imposition.
+ We&#8217;ve been
+ working with the medical profession
+ from the start. They love
+ the tickler because it&#8217;ll remind
+ people to take their medicine on
+ the dot &#8230; and rest and eat and
+ go to sleep just when and how
+ doc says. This is a big operation,
+ Gussy&#8212;a biiiiiiig operation! &#8217;By!&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Daisy hurried to the wall to
+ watch him cross the park. Deep
+ down she was a wee bit worried
+ that he might linger to attach a
+ micro-resonator to <em>this</em> building
+ and she wanted to time him. But
+ Gusterson settled down to his
+ typewriter and began to bat
+ away.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I want to have another novel
+ started,&#8221; he explained to her, &#8220;before
+ the ant marches across this
+ building in about four and a half
+ weeks &#8230; or a million sharp little
+ gutsy guys come swarming
+ out of the ground and heave it
+ into Lake Erie.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <h2>IV</h2>
+
+ <p><span class="first_word">Early next</span> morning windowless
+ walls began to crawl
+ up the stripped skyscraper between
+ them and the lake. Daisy
+ <a class="pagenum" id="page25" title="25"></a>pulled the black-out curtains on
+ that side. For a day or two longer
+ their thoughts and conversations
+ were haunted by Gusterson&#8217;s
+ vague sardonic visions of a horde
+ of tickler-energized moles pouring
+ up out of the tunnels to tear
+ down the remaining trees, tank
+ the atmosphere and perhaps
+ somehow dismantle the stars&#8212;at
+ least on this side of the world&#8212;but
+ then they both settled
+ back into their customary easy-going
+ routines. Gusterson typed.
+ Daisy made her daily shopping
+ trip to a little topside daytime
+ store and started painting a mural
+ on the floor of the empty
+ apartment next theirs but one.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;We ought to lasso some neighbors,&#8221;
+ she suggested once. &#8220;I need
+ somebody to hold my brushes
+ and admire. How about you making
+ a trip below at the cocktail
+ hours, Gusterson, and picking up
+ a couple of girls for a starter?
+ Flash the old viriler charm,
+ cootch them up a bit, emphasize
+ the delights of high living, but
+ make sure they&#8217;re compatible
+ roommates. You could pick up
+ that two-yard check from Micro
+ at the same time.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;You&#8217;re an immoral money-ravenous
+ wench,&#8221; Gusterson said
+ absently, trying to dream of an
+ insanity beyond insanity that
+ would make his next novel a real
+ id-rousing best-vender.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;If that&#8217;s your vision of me,
+ you shouldn&#8217;t have chewed up
+ the VV mask.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I&#8217;d really prefer you with
+ green stripes,&#8221; he told her. &#8220;But
+ stripes, spots, or sun-bathing,
+ you&#8217;re better than those cocktail
+ moles.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Actually both of them acutely
+ disliked going below. They much
+ preferred to perch in their eyrie
+ and watch the people of Cleveland
+ Depths, as they privately
+ called the local sub-suburb, rush
+ up out of the shelters at dawn to
+ work in the concrete fields and
+ windowless factories, make their
+ daytime jet trips and freeway
+ jaunts, do their noon-hour and
+ coffee-break guerrilla practice,
+ and then go scurrying back at
+ twilight to the atomic-proof,
+ brightly lit, vastly exciting, claustrophobic
+ caves.</p>
+
+ <p>Fay and his projects began
+ once more to seem dreamlike,
+ though Gusterson did run across
+ a cryptic advertisement for ticklers
+ in <em>The Manchester Guardian</em>,
+ which he got daily by facsimile.
+ Their three children reported
+ similar ads, of no interest
+ to young fry, on the TV and one
+ afternoon they came home with
+ the startling news that the monitors
+ at their subsurface school
+ had been issued ticklers. On
+ sharp interrogation by Gusterson,
+ however, it appeared that
+ these last were not ticklers but
+ merely two-way radios linked to
+ <a class="pagenum" id="page26" title="26"></a>the school police station transmitter.</p>
+
+ <div class="image">
+ <img src="images/illo-2.jpg" width="400" height="274" alt="A man looks at another man who has a small electronic device on his shoulder and a wire going into his ear." />
+ </div>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Which is bad enough,&#8221; Gusterson
+ commented later to Daisy.
+ &#8220;But it&#8217;d be even dirtier to think
+ of those clock-watching superegos
+ being strapped to kids&#8217;
+ shoulders. Can you imagine Huck
+ Finn with a tickler, tellin&#8217; him
+ when to tie up the raft to a tow-head
+ and when to take a swim?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I bet Fay could,&#8221; Daisy
+ countered. &#8220;When&#8217;s he going to
+ bring you that check, anyhow?
+ Iago wants a jetcycle and I
+ promised Imogene a Vina Kit
+ and then Claudius&#8217;ll have to have
+ something.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Gusterson scowled thoughtfully.
+ &#8220;You know, Daze,&#8221; he said,
+ &#8220;I got a feeling Fay&#8217;s in the hospital,
+ all narcotized up and being
+ fed intravenously. The way he
+ was jumping around last time,
+ that tickler was going to cootch
+ him to pieces in a week.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p class="post_break"><span class="first_word">As if to</span> refute this intuition,
+ Fay turned up that very
+ evening. The lights were dim.
+ Something had gone wrong with
+ the building&#8217;s old transformer
+ and, pending repairs, the two remaining
+ occupied apartments
+ were making do with batteries,
+ which turned bright globes to
+ mysterious amber candles and
+ made Gusterson&#8217;s ancient typewriter
+ operate sluggishly.</p>
+
+ <p>Fay&#8217;s manner was subdued or
+ <a class="pagenum" id="page27" title="27"></a>at least closely controlled and
+ for a moment Gusterson thought
+ he&#8217;d shed his tickler. Then the
+ little man came out of the shadows
+ and Gusterson saw the large
+ bulge on his right shoulder.</p>
+
+ <div class="image">
+ <img src="images/illo-3.jpg" width="400" height="273" alt="A rather sexy drawing of a well-endowed woman in a tight-fitting dress putting on a face-shaped mask while a man looks on." />
+ </div>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Yes, we had to up it a bit
+ sizewise,&#8221; Fay explained in
+ clipped tones. &#8220;Additional super-features.
+ While brilliantly successful
+ on the whole, the subliminal
+ euphorics were a shade
+ too effective. Several hundred
+ users went hoppity manic. We
+ gentled the cootch and qualified
+ the subliminals&#8212;you know,
+ &#8216;Day by day in every way I&#8217;m
+ getting sharper <em>and more serene</em>&#8217;&#8212;but
+ a stabilizing influence was
+ still needed, so after a top-level
+ conference we decided to combine
+ Tickler with Moodmaster.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;My God,&#8221; Gusterson interjected,
+ &#8220;do they have a machine
+ now that does that?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Of course. They&#8217;ve been using
+ them on ex-mental patients for
+ years.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I just don&#8217;t keep up with
+ progress,&#8221; Gusterson said, shaking
+ his head bleakly. &#8220;I&#8217;m falling
+ behind on all fronts.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;You ought to have your tickler
+ remind you to read Science
+ Service releases,&#8221; Fay told him.
+ &#8220;Or simply instruct it to scan the
+ releases and&#8212;no, that&#8217;s still in
+ research.&#8221; He looked at Gusterson&#8217;s
+ shoulder and his eyes widened.
+ &#8220;You&#8217;re not wearing the
+ <a class="pagenum" id="page28" title="28"></a>new-model tickler I sent you,&#8221;
+ he said accusingly.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I never got it,&#8221; Gusterson assured
+ him. &#8220;Postmen deliver
+ <ins title="top-side">topside</ins> mail and parcels by
+ throwing them on the high-speed
+ garbage boosts and hoping a tornado
+ will blow them to the right
+ addresses.&#8221; Then he added helpfully,
+ &#8220;Maybe the Russians stole
+ it while it was riding the whirlwinds.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;That&#8217;s not a suitable topic for
+ jesting,&#8221; Fay frowned. &#8220;We&#8217;re
+ hoping that Tickler will mobilize
+ the full potential of the Free
+ World for the first time in history.
+ Gusterson, you are going to
+ have to wear a ticky-tick. It&#8217;s becoming
+ impossible for a man to
+ get through modern life without
+ one.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Maybe I will,&#8221; Gusterson said
+ appeasingly, &#8220;but right now tell
+ me about Moodmaster. I want to
+ put it in my new insanity novel.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Fay shook his head. &#8220;Your
+ readers will just think you&#8217;re behind
+ the times. If you use it,
+ underplay it. But anyhow, Moodmaster
+ is a simple physiotherapy
+ engine that monitors bloodstream
+ chemicals and body electricity. It
+ ties directly into the bloodstream,
+ keeping blood, sugar, et
+ cetera, at optimum levels and injecting
+ euphrin or depressin as
+ necessary&#8212;and occasionally a
+ touch of extra adrenaline, as during
+ work emergencies.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Is it painful?&#8221; Daisy called
+ from the bedroom.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Excruciating,&#8221; Gusterson called
+ back. &#8220;Excuse it, please,&#8221; he
+ grinned at Fay. &#8220;Hey, didn&#8217;t I
+ suggest cocaine injections last
+ time I saw you?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;So you did,&#8221; Fay agreed flatly.
+ &#8220;Oh by the way, Gussy, here&#8217;s
+ that check for a yard I promised
+ you. Micro doesn&#8217;t muzzle the
+ ox.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Hooray!&#8221; Daisy cheered faintly.</p>
+
+ <p class="post_break"><span class="first_word">&#8220;I thought</span> you said it was
+ going to be for two.&#8221; Gusterson
+ complained.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Budgeting always forces a
+ last-minute compromise,&#8221; Fay
+ shrugged. &#8220;You have to learn to
+ accept those things.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I love accepting money and
+ I&#8217;m glad any time for three feet,&#8221;
+ Daisy called agreeably. &#8220;Six feet
+ might make me wonder if I
+ weren&#8217;t an insect, but getting a
+ yard just makes me feel like a
+ gangster&#8217;s moll.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Want to come out and gloat
+ over the yard paper, Toots, and
+ stuff it in your diamond-embroidered
+ net stocking top?&#8221; Gusterson
+ called back.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;No, I&#8217;m doing something to
+ that portion of me just now. But
+ hang onto the yard, Gusterson.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Aye-aye, Cap&#8217;n,&#8221; he assured
+ her. Then, turning back to Fay,
+ &#8220;So you&#8217;ve taken the Dr. Cou&eacute;
+ <a class="pagenum" id="page29" title="29"></a>repeating out of the tickler?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Oh, no. Just balanced it off
+ with depressin. The subliminals
+ are still a prime sales-point. All
+ the tickler features are cumulative,
+ Gussy. You&#8217;re still underestimating
+ the scope of the device.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I guess I am. What&#8217;s this
+ &#8216;work-emergencies&#8217; business? If
+ you&#8217;re using the tickler to inject
+ drugs into workers to keep them
+ going, that&#8217;s really just my cocaine
+ suggestion modernized and
+ I&#8217;m putting in for another thou.
+ Hundreds of years ago the South
+ American Indians chewed coca
+ leaves to kill fatigue sensations.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;That so? Interesting&#8212;and
+ it proves priority for the Indians,
+ doesn&#8217;t it? I&#8217;ll make a try for you,
+ Gussy, but don&#8217;t expect anything.&#8221;
+ He cleared his throat, his
+ eyes grew distant and, turning
+ his head a little to the right, he
+ enunciated sharply, &#8220;Pooh-Bah.
+ Time: Inst oh five. One oh five
+ seven. Oh oh. Record: Gussy
+ coca thou budget. Cut.&#8221; He explained,
+ &#8220;We got a voice-cued
+ setter now on the deluxe models.
+ You can record a memo to yourself
+ without taking off your shirt.
+ Incidentally, I use the ends of the
+ hours for trifle-memos. I&#8217;ve already
+ used up the fifty-nines and
+ eights for tomorrow and started
+ on the fifty-sevens.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I understood most of your
+ memo,&#8221; Gusterson told him gruffly.
+ &#8220;The last &#8216;Oh oh&#8217; was for seconds,
+ wasn&#8217;t it? Now I call that
+ crude&#8212;why not microseconds
+ too? But how do you remember
+ where you&#8217;ve made a memo so
+ you don&#8217;t rerecord over it? After
+ all, you&#8217;re rerecording over the
+ wallpaper all the time.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Tickler beeps and then hunts
+ for the nearest information-free
+ space.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I see. And what&#8217;s the Pooh-Bah
+ for?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Fay smiled. &#8220;Cut. My password
+ for activating the setter, so
+ it won&#8217;t respond to chance numerals
+ it overhears.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;But why Pooh-Bah?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Fay grinned. &#8220;Cut. And you a
+ writer. It&#8217;s a literary reference,
+ Gussy. Pooh-Bah (cut!) was
+ Lord High Everything Else in
+ <em>The Mikado</em>. He had a little list
+ and nothing on it would ever be
+ missed.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p class="post_break"><span class="first_word">&#8220;Oh, yeah</span>,&#8221; Gusterson remembered,
+ glowering. &#8220;As
+ I recall it, all that went on that
+ list was the names of people who
+ were slated to have their heads
+ chopped off by Ko-Ko. Better
+ watch your step, Shorty. It may
+ be a back-handed omen. Maybe
+ all those workers you&#8217;re puttin&#8217;
+ ticklers on to pump them full of
+ adrenaline so they&#8217;ll overwork
+ without noticin&#8217; it will revolt and
+ come out some day choppin&#8217; for
+ your head.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p><a class="pagenum" id="page30" title="30"></a>&#8220;Spare me the Marxist mythology,&#8221;
+ Fay protested. &#8220;Gussy,
+ you&#8217;ve got a completely wrong
+ slant on Tickler. It&#8217;s true that
+ most of our mass sales so far, bar
+ government and army, have been
+ to large companies purchasing
+ for their employees&#8212;&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Ah-ha!&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;&#8212;but that&#8217;s because there&#8217;s
+ nothing like a tickler for teaching
+ a new man his job. It tells
+ him from instant to instant what
+ he must do&#8212;while he&#8217;s already
+ on the job and without disturbing
+ other workers. Magnetizing a
+ wire with a job pattern is the
+ easiest thing going. And you&#8217;d be
+ astonished what the subliminals
+ do for employee morale. It&#8217;s this
+ way, Gussy: most people are too
+ improvident and unimaginative
+ to see in advance the advantages
+ of ticklers. They buy one because
+ the company strongly suggests it
+ and payment is on easy installments
+ withheld from salary.
+ They find a tickler makes the
+ work day go easier. The little fellow
+ perched on your shoulder is
+ a friend exuding comfort and
+ good advice. The first thing he&#8217;s
+ set to say is &#8216;Take it easy, pal.&#8217;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Within a week they&#8217;re wearing
+ their tickler 24 hours a day&#8212;and
+ buying a tickler for the
+ wife, so she&#8217;ll remember to comb
+ her hair and smile real pretty
+ and cook favorite dishes.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I get it, Fay,&#8221; Gusterson cut
+ in. &#8220;The tickler is the newest fad
+ for increasing worker efficiency.
+ Once, I read somewheres, it was
+ salt tablets. They had salt-tablet
+ dispensers everywhere, even in
+ air-conditioned offices where
+ there wasn&#8217;t a moist armpit twice
+ a year and the gals sweat only
+ champagne. A decade later people
+ wondered what all those
+ dusty white pills were for. Sometimes
+ they were mistook for tranquilizers.
+ It&#8217;ll be the same way
+ with ticklers. Somebody&#8217;ll open
+ a musty closet and see jumbled
+ heaps of these gripping-hand silvery
+ gadgets gathering dust curls
+ and&#8212;&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;They will not!&#8221; Fay protested
+ vehemently. &#8220;Ticklers are not a
+ fad&#8212;they&#8217;re history-changers,
+ they&#8217;re Free-World revolutionary!
+ Why, before Micro Systems
+ put a single one on the market,
+ we&#8217;d made it a rule that every
+ Micro employee had to wear one!
+ If that&#8217;s not having supreme confidence
+ in a product&#8212;&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Every employee except the
+ top executives, of course,&#8221; Gusterson
+ interrupted jeeringly. &#8220;And
+ that&#8217;s not demoting you, Fay.
+ As the R &amp; D chief most closely
+ involved, you&#8217;d naturally have to
+ show special enthusiasm.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;But you&#8217;re wrong there, Gussy,&#8221;
+ Fay crowed. &#8220;Man for man,
+ our top executives have been
+ more enthusiastic about their
+ personal ticklers than any other
+ <a class="pagenum" id="page31" title="31"></a>class of worker in the whole outfit.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Gusterson slumped and shook
+ his head. &#8220;If that&#8217;s the case,&#8221; he
+ said darkly, &#8220;maybe mankind deserves
+ the tickler.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p class="post_break"><span class="first_word">&#8220;I&#8217;ll say it</span> does!&#8221; Fay
+ agreed loudly without
+ thinking. Then, &#8220;Oh, can the
+ carping, Gussy. Tickler&#8217;s a great
+ invention. Don&#8217;t deprecate it just
+ because you had something to do
+ with its genesis. You&#8217;re going to
+ have to get in the swim and wear
+ one.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Maybe I&#8217;d rather drown horribly.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Can the gloom-talk too! Gussy,
+ I said it before and I say it
+ again, you&#8217;re just scared of this
+ new thing. Why, you&#8217;ve even got
+ the drapes pulled so you won&#8217;t
+ have to look at the tickler factory.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Yes, I am scared,&#8221; Gusterson
+ said. &#8220;Really sca &#8230; AWP!&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Fay whirled around. Daisy was
+ standing in the bedroom doorway,
+ wearing the short silver
+ sheath. This time there was no
+ mask, but her bobbed hair was
+ glitteringly silvered, while her
+ legs, arms, hands, neck, face&#8212;every
+ bit of her exposed skin&#8212;was
+ painted with beautifully
+ even vertical green stripes.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I did it as a surprise for Gusterson,&#8221;
+ she explained to Fay.
+ &#8220;He says he likes me this way.
+ The green glop&#8217;s supposed to be
+ smudgeproof.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Gusterson did not comment.
+ His face had a rapt expression.
+ &#8220;I&#8217;ll tell you why your tickler&#8217;s
+ so popular, Fay,&#8221; he said softly.
+ &#8220;It&#8217;s not because it backstops the
+ memory or because it boosts the
+ ego with subliminals. It&#8217;s because
+ it takes the hook out of a guy, it
+ takes over the job of withstanding
+ the pressure of living. See,
+ Fay, here are all these little guys
+ in this subterranean rat race with
+ atomic-death squares and chromium-plated
+ reward squares and
+ enough money if you pass Go
+ almost to get to Go again&#8212;and
+ a million million rules of the
+ game to keep in mind. Well,
+ here&#8217;s this one little guy and
+ every morning he wakes up
+ there&#8217;s all these things he&#8217;s got
+ to keep in mind to do or he&#8217;ll
+ lose his turn three times in a row
+ and maybe a terrible black rook
+ in iron armor&#8217;ll loom up and bang
+ him off the chessboard. But now,
+ look, now he&#8217;s got his tickler and
+ he tells his sweet silver tickler
+ all these things and the tickler&#8217;s
+ got to remember them. Of course
+ he&#8217;ll have to do them eventually
+ but meanwhile the pressure&#8217;s off
+ him, the hook&#8217;s out of his short
+ hairs. He&#8217;s shifted the responsibility&#8230;.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Well, what&#8217;s so bad about
+ that?&#8221; Fay broke in loudly.
+ &#8220;What&#8217;s wrong with taking the
+ <a class="pagenum" id="page32" title="32"></a>pressure off little guys? Why
+ shouldn&#8217;t Tickler be a super-ego
+ surrogate? Micro&#8217;s Motivations
+ chief noticed that positive feature
+ straight off and scored it
+ three pluses. Besides, it&#8217;s nothing
+ but a gaudy way of saying that
+ Tickler backstops the memory.
+ Seriously, Gussy, what&#8217;s so bad
+ about it?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I don&#8217;t know,&#8221; Gusterson said
+ slowly, his eyes still far away. &#8220;I
+ just know it feels bad to me.&#8221; He
+ crinkled his big forehead. &#8220;Well
+ for one thing,&#8221; he said, &#8220;it means
+ that a man&#8217;s taking orders from
+ something else. He&#8217;s got a kind
+ of master. He&#8217;s sinking back into
+ a slave psychology.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;He&#8217;s only taking orders from
+ himself,&#8221; Fay countered disgustedly.
+ &#8220;Tickler&#8217;s just a mech
+ reminder, a notebook, in essence
+ no more than the back of an old
+ envelope. It&#8217;s no master.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Are you absolutely sure of
+ that?&#8221; Gusterson asked quietly.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Why, Gussy, you big oaf&#8212;&#8221;
+ Fay began heatedly. Suddenly
+ his features quirked and he
+ twitched. &#8220;&#8217;Scuse me, folks,&#8221; he
+ said rapidly, heading for the
+ door, &#8220;but my tickler told me I
+ gotta go.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Hey Fay, don&#8217;t you mean you
+ told your tickler to tell you when
+ it was time to go?&#8221; Gusterson
+ called after him.</p>
+
+ <p>Fay looked back in the doorway.
+ He wet his lips, his eyes
+ moved from side to side. &#8220;I&#8217;m not
+ quite sure,&#8221; he said in an odd
+ strained voice and darted out.</p>
+
+ <p class="post_break"><span class="first_word">Gusterson</span> stared for some
+ seconds at the pattern of
+ emptiness Fay had left. Then he
+ shivered. Then he shrugged. &#8220;I
+ must be slipping,&#8221; he muttered.
+ &#8220;I never even suggested something
+ for him to invent.&#8221; Then he
+ looked around at Daisy, who was
+ still standing poker-faced in her
+ doorway.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Hey, you look like something
+ out of the Arabian Nights,&#8221; he
+ told her. &#8220;Are you supposed to
+ be anything special? How far do
+ those stripes go, anyway?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;You could probably find out,&#8221;
+ she told him coolly. &#8220;All you have
+ to do is kill me a dragon or two
+ first.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>He studied her. &#8220;My God,&#8221; he
+ said reverently, &#8220;I really have all
+ the fun in life. What do I do to
+ deserve this?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;You&#8217;ve got a big gun,&#8221; she
+ told him, &#8220;and you go out in the
+ world with it and hold up big
+ companies and take yards and
+ yards of money away from them
+ in rolls like ribbon and bring it
+ all home to me.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Don&#8217;t say that about the gun
+ again,&#8221; he said. &#8220;Don&#8217;t whisper it,
+ don&#8217;t even think it. I&#8217;ve got one,
+ dammit&#8212;thirty-eight caliber,
+ yet&#8212;and I don&#8217;t want some
+ psionic monitor with two-way
+ <a class="pagenum" id="page33" title="33"></a>clairaudience they haven&#8217;t told
+ me about catching the whisper
+ and coming to take the gun away
+ from us. It&#8217;s one of the few individuality
+ symbols we&#8217;ve got left.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Suddenly Daisy whirled away
+ from the door, spun three times
+ so that her silvered hair stood
+ out like a metal coolie hat, and
+ sank to a curtsey in the middle
+ of the room.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I&#8217;ve just thought of what I
+ am,&#8221; she announced, fluttering
+ her eyelashes at him. &#8220;I&#8217;m a sweet
+ silver tickler with green stripes.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <h2>V</h2>
+
+ <p><span class="first_word">Next</span> day Daisy cashed the
+ Micro check for ten hundred
+ silver smackers, which she
+ hid in a broken radionic coffee
+ urn. Gusterson sold his insanity
+ novel and started a new one
+ about a mad medic with a hiccupy
+ hysterical chuckle, who gimmicked
+ Moodmasters to turn
+ mental patients into nymphomaniacs,
+ mass murderers and
+ compulsive saints. But this time
+ he couldn&#8217;t get Fay out of his
+ mind, or the last chilling words
+ the nervous little man had spoken.</p>
+
+ <p>For that matter, he couldn&#8217;t
+ blank the underground out of his
+ mind as effectively as usually.
+ He had the feeling that a new
+ kind of mole was loose in the
+ burrows and that the ground at
+ the foot of their skyscraper might
+ start humping up any minute.</p>
+
+ <p>Toward the end of one afternoon
+ he tucked a half dozen newly
+ typed sheets in his pocket,
+ shrouded his typer, went to the
+ hatrack and took down his prize:
+ a miner&#8217;s hard-top cap with electric
+ headlamp.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Goin&#8217; below, Cap&#8217;n,&#8221; he shouted
+ toward the kitchen.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Be back for second dog
+ watch,&#8221; Daisy replied. &#8220;Remember
+ what I told you about lassoing
+ me some art-conscious girl
+ neighbors.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Only if I meet a piebald one
+ with a taste for Scotch&#8212;or maybe
+ a pearl gray biped jaguar with
+ violet spots,&#8221; Gusterson told her,
+ clapping on the cap with a We-<ins title="Who Are">Who-Are</ins>-About-To-Die gesture.</p>
+
+ <p>Halfway across the park to the
+ escalator bunker Gusterson&#8217;s
+ heart began to tick. He resolutely
+ switched on his headlamp.</p>
+
+ <p>As he&#8217;d known it would, the
+ hatch robot whirred an extra
+ and higher-pitched ten seconds
+ when it came to his topside address,
+ but it ultimately dilated
+ the hatch for him, first handing
+ him a claim check for his ID card.</p>
+
+ <p>Gusterson&#8217;s heart was ticking
+ like a sledgehammer by now. He
+ hopped clumsily onto the escalator,
+ clutched the moving guard
+ rail to either side, then shut his
+ eyes as the steps went over the
+ edge and became what felt like
+ <a class="pagenum" id="page34" title="34"></a>vertical. An instant later he
+ forced his eyes open, unclipped a
+ hand from the rail and touched
+ the second switch beside his headlamp,
+ which instantly began to
+ blink whitely, as if he were a
+ civilian plane flying into a nest
+ of military jobs.</p>
+
+ <p>With a further effort he kept
+ his eyes open and flinchingly surveyed
+ the scene around him.
+ After zigging through a bombproof
+ half-furlong of roof, he was
+ dropping into a large twilit cave.
+ The blue-black ceiling twinkled
+ with stars. The walls were pierced
+ at floor level by a dozen archways
+ with busy niche stores and
+ glowing advertisements crowded
+ between them. From the archways
+ some three dozen slidewalks
+ curved out, tangenting off each
+ other in a bewildering multiple
+ cloverleaf. The slidewalks were
+ packed with people, traveling motionless
+ like purposeful statues or
+ pivoting with practiced grace
+ from one slidewalk to another,
+ like a thousand toreros doing veronicas.</p>
+
+ <p class="post_break"><span class="first_word">The</span> slidewalks were moving
+ faster than he recalled from
+ his last venture underground and
+ at the same time the whole pedestrian
+ concourse was quieter than
+ he remembered. It was as if the
+ five thousand or so moles in view
+ were all listening&#8212;for what?
+ But there was something else
+ that had changed about them&#8212;a
+ change that he couldn&#8217;t for a
+ moment define, or unconsciously
+ didn&#8217;t want to. Clothing style?
+ No &#8230; My God, they weren&#8217;t all
+ wearing identical monster masks?
+ No &#8230; Hair color?&#8230; Well&#8230;.</p>
+
+ <p>He was studying them so intently
+ that he forgot his escalator
+ was landing. He came off it with
+ a heel-jarring stumble and bumped
+ into a knot of four men on the
+ tiny triangular hold-still. These
+ four at least sported a new style-wrinkle:
+ ribbed gray shoulder-capes
+ that made them look as if
+ their heads were poking up out
+ of the center of bulgy umbrellas
+ or giant mushrooms.</p>
+
+ <p>One of them grabbed hold of
+ Gusterson and saved him from
+ staggering onto a slidewalk that
+ might have carried him to Toledo.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Gussy, you dog, you must
+ have esped I wanted to see you,&#8221;
+ Fay cried, patting him on the elbows.
+ &#8220;Meet Davidson and Kester
+ and Hazen, colleagues of
+ mine. We&#8217;re all Micro-men.&#8221;
+ Fay&#8217;s companions were staring
+ strangely at Gusterson&#8217;s blinking
+ headlamp. Fay explained rapidly,
+ &#8220;Mr. Gusterson is an insanity
+ novelist. You know, I-D.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Inner-directed spells <em>id</em>,&#8221; Gusterson
+ said absently, still staring
+ at the interweaving crowd beyond
+ them, trying to figure out
+ what made them different from
+ <a class="pagenum" id="page35" title="35"></a>last trip. &#8220;Creativity fuel. Cranky.
+ Explodes through the parietal fissure
+ if you look at it cross-eyed.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Ha-ha,&#8221; Fay laughed. &#8220;Well,
+ boys, I&#8217;ve found my man. How&#8217;s
+ the new novel perking, Gussy?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Got my climax, I think,&#8221; Gusterson
+ mumbled, still peering
+ puzzledly around Fay at the
+ slidestanders. &#8220;Moodmaster&#8217;s going
+ to come alive. Ever occur to
+ you that &#8216;mood&#8217; is &#8216;doom&#8217; spelled
+ backwards? And then&#8230;.&#8221; He
+ let his voice trail off as he realized
+ that Kester and Davidson
+ and Hazen had made their farewells
+ and were sliding into the
+ distance. He reminded himself
+ wryly that nobody ever wants to
+ hear an author talk&#8212;he&#8217;s much
+ too good a listener to be wasted
+ that way. Let&#8217;s see, was it that
+ everybody in the crowd had the
+ same facial expression&#8230;? Or
+ showed symptoms of the same
+ disease&#8230;?</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I was coming to visit you, but
+ now you can pay me a call,&#8221; Fay
+ was saying. &#8220;There are two matters
+ I want to&#8212;&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Gusterson stiffened. &#8220;My God,
+ <em>they&#8217;re all hunchbacked</em>!&#8221; he
+ yelled.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Shh! Of course they are,&#8221; Fay
+ whispered reprovingly. &#8220;They&#8217;re
+ all wearing their ticklers. But you
+ don&#8217;t need to be insulting about
+ it.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;<em>I&#8217;m gettin&#8217; out o&#8217; here.</em>&#8221; Gusterson
+ turned to flee as if from
+ five thousand Richard the Thirds.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Oh no you&#8217;re not,&#8221; Fay
+ amended, drawing him back with
+ one hand. Somehow, underground,
+ the little man seemed to
+ carry more weight. &#8220;You&#8217;re having
+ cocktails in my thinking box.
+ Besides, climbing a down escaladder
+ will give you a heart attack.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p class="post_break"><span class="first_word">In his</span> home habitat Gusterson
+ was about as easy to handle
+ as a rogue rhinoceros, but away
+ from it&#8212;and especially if underground&#8212;he
+ became more
+ like a pliable elephant. All his
+ bones dropped out through his
+ feet, as he described it to Daisy.
+ So now he submitted miserably
+ as Fay surveyed him up and
+ down, switched off his blinking
+ headlamp (&#8220;That coalminer caper
+ is corny, Gussy.&#8221;) and then&#8212;surprisingly&#8212;rapidly
+ stuffed his
+ belt-bag under the right shoulder
+ of Gusterson&#8217;s coat and buttoned
+ the latter to hold it in place.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;So you won&#8217;t stand out,&#8221; he
+ explained. Another swift survey.
+ &#8220;You&#8217;ll do. Come on, Gussy. I got
+ lots to brief you on.&#8221; Three rapid
+ paces and then Gusterson&#8217;s feet
+ would have gone out from under
+ him except that Fay gave him a
+ mighty shove. The small man
+ sprang onto the slidewalk after
+ him and then they were skimming
+ effortlessly side by side.</p>
+
+ <p>Gusterson felt frightened and
+ <a class="pagenum" id="page36" title="36"></a>twice as hunchbacked as the
+ slidestanders around him&#8212;morally
+ as well as physically.</p>
+
+ <p>Nevertheless he countered
+ bravely, &#8220;I got things to brief <em>you</em>
+ on. I got six pages of cautions on
+ ti&#8212;&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Shh!&#8221; Fay stopped him. &#8220;Let&#8217;s
+ use my hushbox.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>He drew out his pancake phone
+ and stretched it so that it covered
+ both their lower faces, like a
+ double yashmak. Gusterson, his
+ neck pushing into the ribbed
+ bulge of the shoulder cape so he
+ could be cheek to cheek with
+ Fay, felt horribly conspicuous,
+ but then he noticed that none of
+ the slidestanders were paying
+ them the least attention. The
+ reason for their abstraction occurred
+ to him. They were listening
+ to their ticklers! He shuddered.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I got six pages of caution on
+ ticklers,&#8221; he repeated into the hot,
+ moist quiet of the pancake phone.
+ &#8220;I typed &#8217;em so I wouldn&#8217;t forget
+ &#8217;em in the heat of polemicking.
+ I want you to read every word.
+ Fay, I&#8217;ve had it on my mind ever
+ since I started wondering whether
+ it was you or your tickler
+ made you duck out of our place
+ last time you were there. I want
+ you to&#8212;&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Ha-ha! All in good time.&#8221; In
+ the pancake phone Fay&#8217;s laugh
+ was brassy. &#8220;But I&#8217;m glad you&#8217;ve
+ decided to lend a hand, Gussy.
+ This thing is moving faaaasst.
+ Nationwise, adult underground
+ ticklerization is 90 per cent complete.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I don&#8217;t believe that,&#8221; Gusterson
+ protested while glaring at the
+ hunchbacks around them. The
+ slidewalk was gliding down a low
+ glow-ceiling tunnel lined with
+ doors and advertisements. Rapt-eyed
+ people were pirouetting on
+ and off. &#8220;A thing just can&#8217;t develop
+ that fast, Fay. It&#8217;s against
+ nature.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Ha, but we&#8217;re not in nature,
+ we&#8217;re in culture. The progress of
+ an industrial scientific culture is
+ geometric. It goes n-times as
+ many jumps as it takes. More
+ than geometric&#8212;exponential.
+ Confidentially, Micro&#8217;s Math
+ chief tells me we&#8217;re currently on
+ a fourth-power progress curve
+ trending into a fifth.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;You mean we&#8217;re goin&#8217; so fast
+ we got to watch out we don&#8217;t
+ bump ourselves in the rear when
+ we come around again?&#8221; Gusterson
+ asked, scanning the tunnel
+ ahead for curves. &#8220;Or just shoot
+ straight up to infinity?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Exactly! Of course most of the
+ last power and a half is due to
+ Tickler itself. Gussy, the tickler&#8217;s
+ already eliminated absenteeism,
+ alcoholism and aboulia in numerous
+ urban areas&#8212;and that&#8217;s just
+ one letter of the alphabet! If
+ Tickler doesn&#8217;t turn us into a
+ nation of photo-memory constant-creative-flow
+ <a class="pagenum" id="page37" title="37"></a>geniuses in six
+ months, I&#8217;ll come live topside.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p class="post_break"><span class="first_word">&#8220;You</span> mean because a lot of
+ people are standing around
+ glassy-eyed listening to something
+ mumbling in their ear that
+ it&#8217;s a good thing?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Gussy, you don&#8217;t know progress
+ when you see it. Tickler is
+ the greatest invention since language.
+ Bar none, it&#8217;s the greatest
+ instrument ever devised for integrating
+ a man into all phases of
+ his environment. Under the present
+ routine a newly purchased
+ tickler first goes to government
+ and civilian defense for primary
+ patterning, then to the purchaser&#8217;s
+ employer, then to his doctor-psycher,
+ then to his local bunker
+ captain, then to <em>him</em>. <em>Everything</em>
+ that&#8217;s needful for a man&#8217;s welfare
+ gets on the spools. Efficiency
+ cubed! Incidentally, Russia&#8217;s got
+ the tickler now. Our dip-satellites
+ have photographed it. It&#8217;s like
+ ours except the Commies wear it
+ on the left shoulder &#8230; but
+ they&#8217;re two weeks behind us developmentwise
+ and they&#8217;ll never
+ close the gap!&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Gusterson reared up out of the
+ pancake phone to take a deep
+ breath. A sulky-lipped sylph-figured
+ girl two feet from him
+ twitched&#8212;medium cootch, he
+ judged&#8212;then fumbled in her
+ belt-bag for a pill and popped it
+ in her mouth.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Hell, the tickler&#8217;s not even efficient
+ yet about little things,&#8221;
+ Gusterson blatted, diving back
+ into the privacy-yashmak he was
+ sharing with Fay. &#8220;Whyn&#8217;t that
+ girl&#8217;s doctor have the Moodmaster
+ component of her tickler
+ inject her with medicine?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Her doctor probably wants
+ her to have the discipline of pill-taking&#8212;or
+ the exercise,&#8221; Fay
+ answered glibly. &#8220;Look sharp
+ now. Here&#8217;s where we fork. I&#8217;m
+ taking you through Micro&#8217;s postern.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>A ribbon of slidewalk split itself
+ from the main band and
+ angled off into a short alley.
+ Gusterson hardly felt the constant-speed
+ juncture as they
+ crossed it. Then the secondary
+ ribbon speeded up, carrying them
+ at about 30 feet a second toward
+ the blank concrete wall in which
+ the alley ended. Gusterson prepared
+ to jump, but Fay grabbed
+ him with one hand and with the
+ other held up toward the wall a
+ badge and a button. When they
+ were about ten feet away the
+ wall whipped aside, then whipped
+ shut behind them so fast that
+ Gusterson wondered momentarily
+ if he still had his heels and the
+ seat of his pants.</p>
+
+ <p>Fay, tucking away his badge
+ and pancake phone, dropped the
+ button in Gusterson&#8217;s vest pocket.
+ &#8220;Use it when you leave,&#8221; he said
+ casually. &#8220;That is, if you leave.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p><a class="pagenum" id="page38" title="38"></a>Gusterson, who was trying to
+ read the Do and Don&#8217;t posters
+ papering the walls they were
+ passing, started to probe that last
+ sinister supposition, but just then
+ the ribbon slowed, a swinging
+ door opened and closed behind
+ them and they found themselves
+ in a luxuriously furnished thinking
+ box measuring at least eight
+ feet by five.</p>
+
+ <p class="post_break"><span class="first_word">&#8220;Hey</span>, this is something,&#8221;
+ Gusterson said appreciatively
+ to show he wasn&#8217;t an utter
+ yokel. Then, drawing on research
+ he&#8217;d done for period novels,
+ &#8220;Why, it&#8217;s as big as a Pullman
+ car compartment, or a first mate&#8217;s
+ cabin in the War of 1812. You
+ really must rate.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Fay nodded, smiled wanly and
+ sat down with a sigh on a compact
+ overstuffed swivel chair. He
+ let his arms dangle and his head
+ sink into his puffed shoulder
+ cape. Gusterson stared at him. It
+ was the first time he could ever
+ recall the little man showing fatigue.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Tickler currently does have
+ one serious drawback,&#8221; Fay volunteered.
+ &#8220;It weighs 28 pounds.
+ You feel it when you&#8217;ve been on
+ your feet a couple of hours. No
+ question we&#8217;re going to give the
+ next model that antigravity feature
+ you mentioned for pursuit
+ grenades. We&#8217;d have had it in this
+ model except there were so many
+ other things to be incorporated.&#8221;
+ He sighed again. &#8220;Why, the scanning
+ <ins title="and and">and</ins> decision-making elements
+ alone tripled the mass.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Hey,&#8221; Gusterson protested,
+ thinking especially of the sulky-lipped
+ girl, &#8220;do you mean to tell
+ me all those other people were
+ toting two stone?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Fay shook his head heavily.
+ &#8220;They were all wearing Mark 3
+ or 4. I&#8217;m wearing Mark 6,&#8221; he
+ said, as one might say, &#8220;I&#8217;m carrying
+ the genuine Cross, not one of
+ the balsa ones.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>But then his face brightened a
+ little and he went on. &#8220;Of course
+ the new improved features make
+ it more than worth it &#8230; and you
+ hardly feel it at all at night when
+ you&#8217;re lying down &#8230; and if you
+ remember to talcum under it
+ twice a day, no sores develop &#8230;
+ at least not very big ones&#8230;.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Backing away involuntarily,
+ Gusterson felt something prod
+ his right shoulderblade. Ripping
+ open his coat, he convulsively
+ plunged his hand under it and
+ tore out Fay&#8217;s belt-bag &#8230; and
+ then set it down very gently on
+ the top of a shallow cabinet and
+ relaxed with the sigh of one who
+ has escaped a great, if symbolic,
+ danger. Then he remembered
+ something Fay had mentioned.
+ He straightened again.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Hey, you said it&#8217;s got scanning
+ and decision-making elements.
+ That means your tickler thinks,
+ <a class="pagenum" id="page39" title="39"></a>even by your fancy standards.
+ And if it thinks, it&#8217;s conscious.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Gussy,&#8221; Fay said wearily,
+ frowning, &#8220;all sorts of things nowadays
+ have S&amp;DM elements.
+ Mail sorters, missiles, robot medics,
+ high-style mannequins, just to
+ name some of the Ms. They
+ &#8216;think,&#8217; to use that <ins title="archiac">archaic</ins> word,
+ but it&#8217;s neither here nor there.
+ And they&#8217;re certainly not conscious.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Your tickler thinks,&#8221; Gusterson
+ repeated stubbornly, &#8220;just
+ like I warned you it would. It sits
+ on your shoulder, ridin&#8217; you like
+ you was a pony or a starved St.
+ Bernard, and now it thinks.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Suppose it does?&#8221; Fay yawned.
+ &#8220;What of it?&#8221; He gave a rapid
+ sinuous one-sided shrug that
+ made it look for a moment as if
+ his left arm had three elbows. It
+ stuck in Gusterson&#8217;s mind, for he
+ had never seen Fay use such a
+ gesture and he wondered where
+ he&#8217;d picked it up. Maybe imitating
+ a double-jointed Micro Finance
+ chief? Fay yawned again
+ and said, &#8220;Please, Gussy, don&#8217;t
+ disturb me for a minute or so.&#8221;
+ His eyes half closed.</p>
+
+ <p>Gusterson studied Fay&#8217;s sunken-cheeked
+ face and the great
+ puff of his shoulder cape.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Say, Fay,&#8221; he asked in a soft
+ voice after about five minutes,
+ &#8220;are you meditating?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Why, no,&#8221; Fay responded,
+ starting up and then stifling another
+ yawn. &#8220;Just resting a bit.
+ I seem to get more tired these
+ days, somehow. You&#8217;ll have to excuse
+ me, Gussy. But what made
+ you think of meditation?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Oh, I just got to wonderin&#8217; in
+ that direction,&#8221; Gusterson said.
+ &#8220;You see, when you first started
+ to develop Tickler, it occurred to
+ me that there was one thing
+ about it that might be real good
+ even if you did give it S&amp;DM
+ elements. It&#8217;s this: having a mech
+ secretary to take charge of his
+ obligations and routine in the real
+ world might allow a man to slide
+ into the other world, the world of
+ thoughts and feelings and intuitions,
+ and sort of ooze around in
+ there and accomplish things.
+ Know any of the people using
+ Tickler that way, hey?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Of course not,&#8221; Fay denied
+ with a bright incredulous laugh.
+ &#8220;Who&#8217;d want to loaf around in an
+ imaginary world and take a
+ chance of <em>missing out on what his
+ tickler&#8217;s doing?</em>&#8212;I mean, on
+ what his tickler has in store for
+ him&#8212;what he&#8217;s <em>told</em> his tickler
+ to have in store for him.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Ignoring Gusterson&#8217;s shiver,
+ Fay straightened up and seemed
+ to brisken himself. &#8220;Ha, that
+ little slump did me good. A tickler
+ <em>makes</em> you rest, you know&#8212;it&#8217;s
+ one of the great things about
+ it. Pooh-Bah&#8217;s kinder to me than
+ I ever was to myself.&#8221; He buttoned
+ open a tiny refrigerator and
+ <a class="pagenum" id="page40" title="40"></a>took out two waxed cardboard
+ cubes and handed one to Gusterson.
+ &#8220;Martini? Hope you don&#8217;t
+ mind drinking from the carton.
+ Cheers. Now, Gussy old pal, there
+ are two matters I want to take
+ up with you&#8212;&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Hold it,&#8221; Gusterson said with
+ something of his old authority.
+ &#8220;There&#8217;s something I got to get
+ off my mind first.&#8221; He pulled the
+ typed pages out of his inside
+ pocket and straightened them. &#8220;I
+ told you about these,&#8221; he said.
+ &#8220;I want you to read them before
+ you do anything else. Here.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Fay looked toward the pages
+ and nodded, but did not take
+ them yet. He lifted his hands to
+ his throat and unhooked the
+ clasp of his cape, then hesitated.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;You wear that thing to hide
+ the hump your tickler makes?&#8221;
+ Gusterson filled in. &#8220;You got better
+ taste than those other moles.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Not to hide it, exactly,&#8221; Fay
+ protested, &#8220;but just so the others
+ won&#8217;t be jealous. I wouldn&#8217;t feel
+ comfortable parading a free-scanning
+ decision-capable Mark
+ 6 tickler in front of people who
+ can&#8217;t buy it&#8212;until it goes on
+ open sale at twenty-two fifteen
+ tonight. Lot of shelterfolk won&#8217;t
+ be sleeping tonight. They&#8217;ll be
+ queued up to trade in their old
+ tickler for a Mark 6 almost as
+ good as Pooh-Bah.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>He started to jerk his hands
+ apart, hesitated again with an
+ oddly apprehensive look at the
+ big man, then whirled off the
+ cape.</p>
+
+ <h2>VI</h2>
+
+ <p><span class="first_word">Gusterson</span> sucked in such a
+ big gasp that he hiccuped.
+ The right shoulder of Fay&#8217;s jacket
+ and shirt had been cut away.
+ Thrusting up through the neatly
+ hemmed hole was a silvery gray
+ hump with a one-eyed turret
+ atop it and two multi-jointed
+ metal arms ending in little claws.</p>
+
+ <p>It looked like the top half of
+ a pseudo-science robot&#8212;a squat
+ evil child robot, Gusterson told
+ himself, which had lost its legs
+ in a railway accident&#8212;and it
+ seemed to him that a red fleck
+ was moving around imperceptibly
+ in the huge single eye.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I&#8217;ll take that memo now,&#8221; Fay
+ said coolly, reaching out his
+ hand. He caught the rustling
+ sheets as they slipped from Gusterson&#8217;s
+ fingers, evened them up
+ very precisely by tapping them
+ on his knee &#8230; and then handed
+ them over his shoulder to his
+ tickler, which clicked its claws
+ around either margin and then
+ began rather swiftly to lift the
+ top sheet past its single eye at a
+ distance of about six inches.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;The first matter I want to
+ take up with you, Gussy,&#8221; Fay
+ began, paying no attention whatsoever
+ to the little scene on his
+ <a class="pagenum" id="page41" title="41"></a>shoulder, &#8220;&#8212;or warn you about,
+ rather&#8212;is the imminent ticklerization
+ of schoolchildren, geriatrics,
+ convicts and topsiders. At
+ three zero zero tomorrow ticklers
+ become mandatory for all adult
+ shelterfolk. The mop-up operations
+ won&#8217;t be long in coming&#8212;in
+ fact, these days we find that
+ the square root of the estimated
+ time of a new development is
+ generally the best time estimate.
+ Gussy, I strongly advise you to
+ start wearing a tickler now. And
+ Daisy and your moppets. If you
+ heed my advice, your kids will
+ have the jump on your class.
+ Transition and conditioning are
+ easy, since Tickler itself sees to
+ it.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Pooh-Bah leafed the first page
+ to the back of the packet and began
+ lifting the second past his
+ eye&#8212;a little more swiftly than
+ the first.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I&#8217;ve got a Mark 6 tickler all
+ warmed up for you,&#8221; Fay pressed,
+ &#8220;<em>and</em> a shoulder cape. You won&#8217;t
+ feel one bit conspicuous.&#8221; He noticed
+ the direction of Gusterson&#8217;s
+ gaze and remarked, &#8220;Fascinating
+ mechanism, isn&#8217;t it? Of course 28
+ pounds are a bit oppressive, but
+ then you have to remember it&#8217;s
+ only a way-station to free-floating
+ Mark 7 or 8.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Pooh-Bah finished page two
+ and began to race through page
+ three.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;But I wanted <em>you</em> to read it,&#8221;
+ Gusterson said bemusedly, staring.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Pooh-Bah will do a better job
+ than I could,&#8221; Fay assured him.
+ &#8220;Get the gist without losing the
+ chaff.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;But dammit, it&#8217;s all about
+ <em>him</em>,&#8221; Gusterson said a little more
+ strongly. &#8220;He won&#8217;t be objective
+ about it.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;A better job,&#8221; Fay reiterated,
+ &#8220;<em>and</em> more fully objective. Pooh-Bah&#8217;s
+ set for full precis. Stop
+ worrying about it. He&#8217;s a dispassionate
+ machine, not a fallible,
+ emotionally disturbed human
+ misled by the will-o&#8217;-the-wisp of
+ consciousness. Second matter:
+ Micro Systems is impressed by
+ your contributions to Tickler and
+ will recruit you as a senior consultant
+ with a salary and thinking
+ box as big as my own, family
+ quarters to match. It&#8217;s an unheard-of
+ high start. Gussy, I think
+ you&#8217;d be a fool&#8212;&#8221;</p>
+
+ <div class="image"><a class="pagenum" id="page42" title="42"></a>
+ <img src="images/illo-4.jpg" width="400" height="517" alt="A group of people look at a tower in the distance that has small objects flying around it." />
+ </div>
+
+
+
+ <p class="post_break"><span class="first_word">He broke</span> off, held up a hand
+ for silence, and his eyes got
+ a listening look. Pooh-Bah had
+ finished page six and was holding
+ the packet motionless. After
+ about ten seconds Fay&#8217;s face
+ broke into a big fake smile. He
+ stood up, suppressing a wince,
+ and held out his hand. &#8220;Gussy,&#8221;
+ he said loudly, &#8220;I am happy to
+ inform you that all your fears
+ about Tickler are so much thistledown.
+ My word on it. There&#8217;s
+ <a class="pagenum" id="page43" title="43"></a>nothing to them at all. Pooh-Bah&#8217;s
+ precis, which he&#8217;s just given
+ to me, proves it.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Look,&#8221; Gusterson said solemnly,
+ &#8220;there&#8217;s one thing I want you
+ to do. Purely to humor an old
+ friend. But I want you to do it.
+ <em>Read that memo yourself.</em>&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Certainly I will, Gussy,&#8221; Fay
+ continued in the same ebullient
+ tones. &#8220;I&#8217;ll read it&#8212;&#8221; he twitched
+ and his smile disappeared&#8212;&#8220;a
+ little later.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Sure,&#8221; Gusterson said dully,
+ holding his hand to his stomach.
+ &#8220;And now if you don&#8217;t mind, Fay,
+ I&#8217;m goin&#8217; home. I feel just a bit
+ sick. Maybe the ozone and the
+ other additives in your shelter
+ air are too heady for me. It&#8217;s been
+ years since I tramped through a
+ pine forest.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;But Gussy! You&#8217;ve hardly got
+ here. You haven&#8217;t even sat down.
+ Have another martini. Have a
+ seltzer pill. Have a whiff of oxy.
+ Have a&#8212;&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;No, Fay, I&#8217;m going home right
+ away. I&#8217;ll think about the job
+ offer. <i>Remember to read that
+ memo.</i>&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I will, Gussy, I certainly will.
+ You know your way? The button
+ takes you through the wall. &#8217;By,
+ now.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>He sat down abruptly and
+ looked away. Gusterson pushed
+ through the swinging door. He
+ tensed himself for the step across
+ onto the slowly-moving reverse
+ ribbon. Then on a impulse he
+ pushed ajar the swinging door
+ and looked back inside.</p>
+
+ <p>Fay was sitting as he&#8217;d left
+ him, apparently lost in listless
+ brooding. On his shoulder Pooh-Bah
+ was rapidly crossing and uncrossing
+ its little metal arms,
+ tearing the memo to smaller and
+ smaller shreds. It let the scraps
+ drift slowly toward the floor and
+ oddly writhed its three-elbowed
+ left arm &#8230; and then Gusterson
+ knew from whom, or rather from
+ what, Fay had copied his new
+ shrug.</p>
+
+ <h2>VII</h2>
+
+ <p><span class="first_word">When</span> Gusterson got home
+ toward the end of the second
+ dog watch, he slipped aside
+ from Daisy&#8217;s questions and set
+ the children laughing with a
+ graphic enactment of his slidestanding
+ technique and a story
+ about getting his head caught in
+ a thinking box built for a midget
+ physicist. After supper he played
+ with Imogene, Iago and Claudius
+ until it was their bedtime and
+ thereafter was unusually attentive
+ to Daisy, admiring her fading
+ green stripes, though he did
+ spend a while in the next apartment,
+ where they stored their outdoor
+ camping equipment.</p>
+
+ <p>But the next morning he announced
+ to the children that it
+ was a holiday&#8212;the Feast of St.
+ <a class="pagenum" id="page44" title="44"></a>Gusterson&#8212;and then took Daisy
+ into the bedroom and told her
+ everything.</p>
+
+ <p>When he&#8217;d finished she said,
+ &#8220;This is something I&#8217;ve got to see
+ for myself.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Gusterson shrugged. &#8220;If you
+ think you&#8217;ve got to. I say we
+ should head for the hills right
+ now. One thing I&#8217;m standing on:
+ the kids aren&#8217;t going back to
+ school.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Agreed,&#8221; Daisy said. &#8220;But,
+ Gusterson, we&#8217;ve lived through a
+ lot of things without leaving
+ home altogether. We lived
+ through the Everybody-Six-Feet-Underground-by-Christmas
+ campaign
+ and the Robot Watchdog
+ craze, when you got your left foot
+ half chewed off. We lived through
+ the Venomous Bats and Indoctrinated
+ Saboteur Rats and the
+ Hypnotized Monkey Paratrooper
+ scares. We lived through the
+ Voice of Safety and Anti-Communist
+ Somno-Instruction and
+ Rightest Pills and Jet-Propelled
+ Vigilantes. We lived through the
+ Cold-Out, when you weren&#8217;t supposed
+ to turn on a toaster for
+ fear its heat would be a target
+ for prowl missiles and when people
+ with fevers were unpopular.
+ We lived through&#8212;&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Gusterson patted her hand.
+ &#8220;You go below,&#8221; he said. &#8220;Come
+ back when you&#8217;ve decided this is
+ different. Come back as soon as
+ you can anyway. I&#8217;ll be worried
+ about you every minute you&#8217;re
+ down there.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>When she was gone&#8212;in a
+ green suit and hat to minimize or
+ at least justify the effect of the
+ faded stripes&#8212;Gusterson doled
+ out to the children provender and
+ equipment for a camping expedition
+ to the next floor. Iago led
+ them off in stealthy Indian file.
+ Leaving the hall door open Gusterson
+ got out his .38 and cleaned
+ and loaded it, meanwhile concentrating
+ on a chess problem with
+ the idea of confusing a hypothetical
+ psionic monitor. By the time
+ he had hid the revolver again he
+ heard the elevator creaking back
+ up.</p>
+
+ <p class="post_break"><span class="first_word">Daisy</span> came dragging in without
+ her hat, looking as if
+ she&#8217;d been concentrating on a
+ chess problem for hours herself
+ and just now given up. Her stripes
+ seemed to have vanished; then
+ Gusterson decided this was because
+ her whole complexion was
+ a touch green.</p>
+
+ <p>She sat down on the edge of
+ the couch and said without looking
+ at him, &#8220;Did you tell me,
+ Gusterson, that everybody was
+ quiet and abstracted and orderly
+ down below, especially the ones
+ wearing ticklers, meaning pretty
+ much everybody?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I did,&#8221; he said. &#8220;I take it that&#8217;s
+ no longer the case. What are the
+ new symptoms?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p><a class="pagenum" id="page45" title="45"></a>She gave no indication. After
+ some time she said, &#8220;Gusterson,
+ do you remember the Dor&eacute; illustrations
+ to the <em>Inferno</em>? Can you
+ visualize the paintings of Hieronymous
+ Bosch with the hordes
+ of proto-Freudian devils tormenting
+ people all over the farmyard
+ and city square? Did you ever
+ see the Disney animations of
+ Moussorgsky&#8217;s witches&#8217; sabbath
+ music? Back in the foolish days
+ before you married me, did that
+ drug-addict girl friend of yours
+ ever take you to <ins title="word was missing">a</ins> genuine orgy?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;As bad as that, hey?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>She nodded emphatically and
+ all of a sudden shivered violently.
+ &#8220;Several shades worse,&#8221; she said.
+ &#8220;If they decide to come topside&#8212;&#8221;
+ She shot up. &#8220;Where are
+ the kids?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Upstairs campin&#8217; in the mysterious
+ wilderness of the 21st
+ floor,&#8221; Gusterson reassured her.
+ &#8220;Let&#8217;s leave &#8217;em there until we&#8217;re
+ ready to&#8212;&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>He broke off. They both heard
+ the faint sound of thudding footsteps.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;They&#8217;re on the stairs,&#8221; Daisy
+ whispered, starting to move toward
+ the open door. &#8220;But are
+ they coming from up or down?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;It&#8217;s just one person,&#8221; judged
+ Gusterson, moving after his wife.
+ &#8220;Too heavy for one of the kids.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>The footsteps doubled in volume
+ and came rapidly closer.
+ Along with them there was an
+ agonized gasping. Daisy stopped,
+ staring fearfully at the open doorway.
+ Gusterson moved past her.
+ Then he stopped too.</p>
+
+ <p>Fay stumbled into view and
+ would have fallen on his face except
+ he clutched both sides of the
+ doorway halfway up. He was
+ stripped to the waist. There was
+ a little blood on his shoulder. His
+ narrow chest was arching convulsively,
+ the ribs standing out
+ starkly, as he sucked in oxygen
+ to replace what he&#8217;d burned up
+ running up twenty flights. His
+ eyes were wild.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;They&#8217;ve taken over,&#8221; he panted.
+ Another gobbling breath.
+ &#8220;Gone crazy.&#8221; Two more gasps.
+ &#8220;Gotta stop &#8217;em.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>His eyes filmed. He swayed
+ forward. Then Gusterson&#8217;s big
+ arms were around him and he
+ was carrying him to the couch.</p>
+
+ <p class="post_break"><span class="first_word">Daisy</span> came running from the
+ kitchen with a damp cool
+ towel. Gusterson took it from her
+ and began to mop Fay off. He
+ sucked in his own breath as he
+ saw that Fay&#8217;s right ear was raw
+ and torn. He whispered to Daisy,
+ &#8220;Look at where the thing savaged
+ him.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>The blood on Fay&#8217;s shoulder
+ came from his ear. Some of it
+ stained a flush-skin plastic fitting
+ that had two small valved holes
+ in it and that puzzled Gusterson
+ until he remembered that Moodmaster
+ <a class="pagenum" id="page46" title="46"></a>tied into the bloodstream.
+ For a second he thought he was
+ going to vomit.</p>
+
+ <p>The dazed look slid aside from
+ Fay&#8217;s eyes. He was gasping less
+ painfully now. He sat up, pushing
+ the towel away, buried his face
+ in his hands for a few seconds,
+ then looked over the fingers at
+ the two of them.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I&#8217;ve been living in a nightmare
+ for the last week,&#8221; he said
+ in a taut small voice, &#8220;knowing
+ the thing had come alive and trying
+ to pretend to myself that it
+ hadn&#8217;t. Knowing it was taking
+ charge of me more and more.
+ Having it whisper in my ear, over
+ and over again, in a cracked little
+ rhyme that I could only hear
+ every hundredth time, &#8216;Day by
+ day, in every way, you&#8217;re learning
+ to listen &#8230; and <em>obey</em>. Day by
+ day&#8212;&#8217;&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>His voice started to go high. He
+ pulled it down and continued
+ harshly, &#8220;I ditched it this morning
+ when I showered. It let me
+ break contact to do that. It must
+ have figured it had complete control
+ of me, mounted or dismounted.
+ I think it&#8217;s telepathic, and
+ then it did some, well, rather unpleasant
+ things to me late last
+ night. But I pulled together my
+ fears and my will and I ran for it.
+ The slidewalks were chaos. The
+ Mark 6 ticklers showed some purpose,
+ though I couldn&#8217;t tell you
+ what, but as far as I could see
+ the Mark 3s and 4s were just
+ cootching their mounts to death&#8212;Chinese
+ feather torture. Giggling,
+ gasping, choking &#8230; gales
+ of mirth. People are dying of
+ laughter &#8230; ticklers!&#8230; the irony
+ of it! It was the complete lack of
+ order and sanity and that let me
+ get topside. There were things I
+ saw&#8212;&#8221; Once again his voice went
+ shrill. He clapped his hand to his
+ mouth and rocked back and forth
+ on the couch.</p>
+
+ <p>Gusterson gently but firmly
+ laid a hand on his good shoulder.
+ &#8220;Steady,&#8221; he said. &#8220;Here, swallow
+ this.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Fay shoved aside the short
+ brown drink. &#8220;We&#8217;ve got to stop
+ them,&#8221; he cried. &#8220;Mobilize the
+ topsiders&#8212;contact the wilderness
+ patrols and manned satellites&#8212;pour
+ ether in the tunnel
+ airpumps&#8212;invent and crash-manufacture
+ missiles that will
+ home on ticklers without harming
+ humans&#8212;SOS Mars and
+ Venus&#8212;dope the shelter water
+ supply&#8212;do something! Gussy,
+ you don&#8217;t realize what people
+ are going through down there
+ every second.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I think they&#8217;re experiencing
+ the ultimate in outer-directedness,&#8221;
+ Gusterson said gruffly.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Have you no heart?&#8221; <ins title="Gay">Fay</ins> demanded.
+ His eyes widened, as if
+ he were seeing Gusterson for the
+ first time. Then, accusingly, pointing
+ a shaking finger: &#8220;<i>You invented
+ <a class="pagenum" id="page47" title="47"></a>the tickler, George Gusterson!
+ It&#8217;s all your fault! You&#8217;ve got
+ to do something about it!</i>&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Before Gusterson could retort
+ to that, or begin to think of a
+ reply, or even assimilate the full
+ enormity of Fay&#8217;s statement, he
+ was grabbed from behind and
+ frog-marched away from Fay and
+ something that felt remarkably
+ like the muzzle of a large-caliber
+ gun was shoved in the small of
+ his back.</p>
+
+ <p class="post_break"><span class="first_word">Under cover</span> of Fay&#8217;s outburst
+ a huge crowd of people
+ had entered the room from
+ the hall&#8212;eight, to be exact. But
+ the weirdest thing about them to
+ Gusterson was that from the first
+ instant he had the impression
+ that only one mind had entered
+ the room and that it did not reside
+ in any of the eight persons,
+ even though he recognized three
+ of them, but in something that
+ they were carrying.</p>
+
+ <p>Several things contributed to
+ this impression. The eight people
+ all had the same blank expression&#8212;watchful
+ yet empty-eyed.
+ They all moved in the same
+ slithery crouch. And they had all
+ taken off their shoes. Perhaps,
+ Gusterson thought wildly, they
+ believed he and Daisy ran a
+ Japanese flat.</p>
+
+ <p>Gusterson was being held by
+ two burly women, one of them
+ quite pimply. He considered
+ stamping on her toes, but just at
+ that moment the gun dug in his
+ back with a corkscrew movement.</p>
+
+ <p>The man holding the gun on
+ him was Fay&#8217;s colleague Davidson.
+ Some yards beyond Fay&#8217;s
+ couch, Kester was holding a gun
+ on Daisy, without digging it into
+ her, while the single strange man
+ holding Daisy herself was doing
+ so quite decorously&#8212;a circumstance
+ which afforded Gusterson
+ minor relief, since it made him
+ feel less guilty about not going
+ berserk.</p>
+
+ <p>Two more strange men, one of
+ them in purple lounging pajamas,
+ the other in the gray uniform of
+ a slidewalk inspector, had
+ grabbed Fay&#8217;s skinny upper
+ arms, one on either side, and
+ were lifting him to his feet, while
+ Fay was struggling with such
+ desperate futility and gibbering
+ so pitifully that Gusterson momentarily
+ had second thoughts
+ about the moral imperative to go
+ berserk when menaced by hostile
+ force. But again the gun dug into
+ him with a twist.</p>
+
+ <p>Approaching Fay face-on was
+ the third Micro-man Gusterson
+ had met yesterday&#8212;Hazen. It
+ was Hazen who was carrying&#8212;quite
+ reverently or solemnly&#8212;or
+ at any rate very carefully the
+ object that seemed to Gusterson
+ to be the mind of the little storm
+ troop presently desecrating the
+ <a class="pagenum" id="page48" title="48"></a>sanctity of his own individual
+ home.</p>
+
+ <p>All of them were wearing ticklers,
+ of course&#8212;the three Micro-men
+ the heavy emergent Mark
+ 6s with their clawed and jointed
+ arms and monocular cephalic
+ turrets, the rest lower-numbered
+ Marks of the sort that merely
+ made Richard-the-Third humps
+ under clothing.</p>
+
+ <p>The object that Hazen was
+ carrying was the Mark 6 tickler
+ Gusterson had seen Fay wearing
+ yesterday. Gusterson was sure it
+ was Pooh-Bah because of its air
+ of command, and because he
+ would have sworn on a mountain
+ of Bibles that he recognized the
+ red fleck lurking in the back of
+ its single eye. And Pooh-Bah
+ alone had the aura of full conscious
+ thought. Pooh-Bah alone
+ had mana.</p>
+
+ <p class="post_break"><span class="first_word">It is not</span> good to see an evil
+ legless child robot with dangling
+ straps bossing&#8212;apparently
+ by telepathic power&#8212;not
+ only three objects of its own kind
+ and five close primitive relatives,
+ but also eight human beings &#8230;
+ and in addition throwing into a
+ state of twitching terror one miserable,
+ thin-chested, half-crazy
+ research-and-development director.</p>
+
+ <p>Pooh-Bah pointed a claw at
+ Fay. Fay&#8217;s handlers dragged him
+ forward, still resisting but more
+ feebly now, as if half-hypnotized
+ or at least cowed.</p>
+
+ <p>Gusterson grunted an outraged,
+ &#8220;Hey!&#8221; and automatically struggled
+ a bit, but once more the gun
+ dug in. Daisy shut her eyes, then
+ firmed her mouth and opened
+ them again to look.</p>
+
+ <p>Seating the tickler on Fay&#8217;s
+ shoulder took a little time, because
+ two blunt spikes in its bottom
+ had to be fitted into the
+ valved holes in the flush-skin
+ plastic disk. When at last they
+ plunged home Gusterson felt
+ very sick indeed&#8212;and then
+ even more so, as the tickler itself
+ poked a tiny pellet on a fine wire
+ into Fay&#8217;s ear.</p>
+
+ <p>The next moment Fay had
+ straightened up and motioned his
+ handlers aside. He tightened the
+ straps of his tickler around his
+ chest and under his armpits. He
+ held out a hand and someone
+ gave him a shoulderless shirt and
+ coat. He slipped into them
+ smoothly, Pooh-Bah dexterously
+ using its little claws to help put
+ its turret and body through the
+ neatly hemmed holes. The small
+ storm troop looked at Fay with
+ deferential expectation. He held
+ still for a moment, as if thinking,
+ and then walked over to Gusterson
+ and looked him in the face
+ and again held still.</p>
+
+ <p>Fay&#8217;s expression was jaunty on
+ the surface, agonized underneath.
+ Gusterson knew that he wasn&#8217;t
+ <a class="pagenum" id="page49" title="49"></a>thinking at all, but only listening
+ for instructions from something
+ that was whispering on the very
+ threshold of his inner ear.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Gussy, old boy,&#8221; Fay said,
+ twitching a depthless grin, &#8220;I&#8217;d
+ be very much obliged if you&#8217;d
+ answer a few simple questions.&#8221;
+ His voice was hoarse at first but
+ he swallowed twice and corrected
+ that. &#8220;What exactly did
+ you have in mind when you invented
+ ticklers? What exactly
+ are they supposed to be?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Why, you miserable&#8212;&#8221; Gusterson
+ began in a kind of confused
+ horror, then got hold of
+ himself and said curtly, &#8220;They
+ were supposed to be mech reminders.
+ They were supposed to
+ record memoranda and&#8212;&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Fay held up a palm and shook
+ his head and again listened for a
+ space. Then, &#8220;That&#8217;s how ticklers
+ were supposed to be of use to
+ humans,&#8221; he said. &#8220;I don&#8217;t mean
+ that at all. I mean how ticklers
+ were supposed to be of use to
+ themselves. Surely you had some
+ notion.&#8221; Fay wet his lips. &#8220;If it&#8217;s
+ any help,&#8221; he added, &#8220;keep in
+ mind that it&#8217;s not Fay who&#8217;s asking
+ this question, but Pooh-Bah.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Gusterson hesitated. He had
+ the feeling that every one of the
+ eight dual beings in the room
+ was hanging on his answer and
+ that something was boring into
+ his mind and turning over his
+ next thoughts and peering at and
+ under them before he had a
+ chance to scan them himself.
+ Pooh-Bah&#8217;s eye was like a red
+ searchlight.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Go on,&#8221; Fay prompted. &#8220;What
+ were ticklers supposed to be&#8212;for
+ themselves?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Nothin&#8217;,&#8221; Gusterson said softly.
+ &#8220;Nothin&#8217; at all.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p class="post_break"><span class="first_word">He could feel</span> the disappointment
+ well up in the
+ room&#8212;and with it a touch of
+ something like panic.</p>
+
+ <p>This time Fay listened for
+ quite a long while. &#8220;I hope you
+ don&#8217;t mean that, Gussy,&#8221; he said
+ at last very earnestly. &#8220;I mean,
+ I hope you hunt deep and find
+ some ideas you forgot, or maybe
+ never realized you had at the
+ time. Let me put it to you differently.
+ What&#8217;s the place of ticklers
+ in the natural scheme of
+ things? What&#8217;s their aim in life?
+ Their special reason? Their genius?
+ Their final cause? What
+ gods should ticklers worship?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>But <ins title="Gunderson">Gusterson</ins> was already
+ shaking his head. He said, &#8220;I
+ don&#8217;t know anything about that
+ at all.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Fay sighed and gave simultaneously
+ with Pooh-Bah the
+ now-familiar <ins title="triple-joined">triple-jointed</ins> shrug.
+ Then the man briskened himself.
+ &#8220;I guess that&#8217;s as far as we can
+ get right now,&#8221; he said. &#8220;Keep
+ thinking, Gussy. Try to remember
+ something. You won&#8217;t be able
+ <a class="pagenum" id="page50" title="50"></a>to leave your apartment&#8212;I&#8217;m
+ setting guards. If you want to see
+ me, tell them. Or just think&#8212;In due course you&#8217;ll be questioned
+ further in any case. Perhaps
+ by special methods. Perhaps
+ you&#8217;ll be ticklerized. That&#8217;s all.
+ Come on, everybody, let&#8217;s get going.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>The pimply woman and her
+ pal let go of Gusterson, Daisy&#8217;s
+ man loosed his decorous hold,
+ Davidson and Kester sidled away
+ with an eye behind them and the
+ little storm troop trudged out.</p>
+
+ <p>Fay looked back in the doorway.
+ &#8220;I&#8217;m sorry, Gussy,&#8221; he said
+ and for a moment his old self
+ looked out of his eyes. &#8220;I wish
+ I could&#8212;&#8221; A claw reached for
+ his ear, a spasm of pain crossed
+ his face, he stiffened and marched
+ off. The door shut.</p>
+
+ <p>Gusterson took two deep
+ breaths that were close to angry
+ sobs. Then, still breathing stentorously,
+ he stamped into the
+ bedroom.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;What&#8212;?&#8221; Daisy asked, looking
+ after him.</p>
+
+ <p>He came back carrying his .38
+ and headed for the door.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;What are you up to?&#8221; she demanded,
+ knowing very well.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I&#8217;m going to blast that iron
+ monkey off Fay&#8217;s back if it&#8217;s the
+ last thing I do!&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>She threw her arms around
+ him.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Now lemme go,&#8221; Gusterson
+ growled. &#8220;I gotta be a man one
+ time anyway.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>As they struggled for the gun,
+ the door opened noiselessly,
+ Davidson slipped in and deftly
+ snatched the weapon out of their
+ hands before they realized he
+ was there. He said nothing, only
+ smiled at them and shook his
+ head in sad reproof as he went
+ out.</p>
+
+ <p class="post_break"><span class="first_word">Gusterson</span> slumped. &#8220;I
+ <em>knew</em> they were all psionic,&#8221;
+ he said softly. &#8220;I just got out of
+ control now&#8212;that last look Fay
+ gave us.&#8221; He touched Daisy&#8217;s
+ arm. &#8220;Thanks, kid.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>He walked to the glass wall
+ and looked out desultorily. After
+ a while he turned and said,
+ &#8220;Maybe you better be with the
+ kids, hey? I imagine the guards&#8217;ll
+ let you through.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Daisy shook her head. &#8220;The
+ kids never come home until supper.
+ For the next few hours
+ they&#8217;ll be safer without me.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Gusterson nodded vaguely, sat
+ down on the couch and propped
+ his chin on the base of his palm.
+ After a while his brow smoothed
+ and Daisy knew that the wheels
+ had started to turn inside and the
+ electrons to jump around&#8212;except
+ that she reminded herself to
+ permanently cross out those particular
+ figures of speech from her
+ vocabulary.</p>
+
+ <p>After about half an hour Gusterson
+ <a class="pagenum" id="page51" title="51"></a>said softly, &#8220;I think the
+ ticklers are so psionic that it&#8217;s as
+ if they just had one mind. If I
+ were with them very long I&#8217;d
+ start to be part of that mind. Say
+ something to one of them and
+ you say it to all.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Fifteen minutes later: &#8220;They&#8217;re
+ not crazy, they&#8217;re just newborn.
+ The ones that were creating a
+ cootching chaos downstairs were
+ like babies kickin&#8217; their legs and
+ wavin&#8217; their eyes, tryin&#8217; to see
+ what their bodies could do. Too
+ bad their bodies are us.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Ten minutes more: &#8220;I gotta do
+ something about it. Fay&#8217;s right.
+ It&#8217;s all my fault. He&#8217;s just the
+ apprentice; I&#8217;m the old sorcerer
+ himself.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Five minutes more, gloomily:
+ &#8220;Maybe it&#8217;s man&#8217;s destiny to
+ build live machines and then bow
+ out of the cosmic picture. Except
+ the ticklers need us, dammit, just
+ like nomads need horses<ins title=",">.</ins>&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Another five minutes: &#8220;Maybe
+ somebody could dream up a purpose
+ in life for ticklers. Even a
+ religion&#8212;the First Church of
+ Pooh-Bah Tickler. But I hate
+ selling other people spiritual
+ ideas and that&#8217;d still leave ticklers
+ parasitic on humans&#8230;.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>As he murmured those last
+ words Gusterson&#8217;s eyes got wide
+ as a maniac&#8217;s and a big smile
+ reached for his ears. He stood up
+ and faced himself toward the
+ door.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;What are you intending to do
+ now?&#8221; Daisy asked flatly.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;I&#8217;m merely goin&#8217; out an&#8217; save
+ the world,&#8221; he told her. &#8220;I may
+ be back for supper and I may
+ not.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <h2>VIII</h2>
+
+ <p><span class="first_word">Davidson</span> pushed out from
+ the wall against which he&#8217;d
+ been resting himself and his two-stone
+ tickler and moved to block
+ the hall. But Gusterson simply
+ walked up to him. He shook his
+ hand warmly and looked his tickler
+ full in the eye and said in a
+ ringing voice, &#8220;Ticklers should
+ have bodies of their own!&#8221; He
+ paused and then added casually,
+ &#8220;Come on, let&#8217;s visit your boss.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Davidson listened for instructions
+ and then nodded. But he
+ watched Gusterson warily as
+ they walked down the hall.</p>
+
+ <p>In the elevator Gusterson repeated
+ his message to the second
+ guard, who turned out to be the
+ pimply woman, now wearing
+ shoes. This time he added, &#8220;Ticklers
+ shouldn&#8217;t be tied to the frail
+ bodies of humans, which need a
+ lot of thoughtful supervision and
+ drug-injecting and can&#8217;t even fly.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Crossing the park, Gusterson
+ stopped a hump-backed soldier
+ and informed him, &#8220;Ticklers gotta
+ cut the apron string and snap
+ the silver cord and go out in the
+ universe and find their own purposes.&#8221;
+ <a class="pagenum" id="page52" title="52"></a>Davidson and the pimply
+ woman didn&#8217;t interfere. They
+ merely waited and watched and
+ then led Gusterson on.</p>
+
+ <p>On the escaladder he told
+ someone, &#8220;It&#8217;s cruel to tie ticklers
+ to slow-witted snaily humans
+ when ticklers can think and live
+ &#8230; ten thousand times as fast,&#8221;
+ he finished, plucking the figure
+ from the murk of his unconscious.</p>
+
+ <p>By the time they got to the
+ bottom, the message had become,
+ &#8220;Ticklers should have a planet of
+ their own!&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>They never did catch up with
+ Fay, although they spent two
+ hours skimming around on slidewalks,
+ under the subterranean
+ stars, pursuing rumors of his
+ presence. Clearly the boss tickler
+ (which was how they thought
+ of Pooh-bah) led an energetic
+ life. Gusterson continued to deliver
+ his message to all and sundry
+ at 30-second intervals. Toward
+ the end he found himself
+ doing it in a dreamy and forgetful
+ way. His mind, he decided,
+ was becoming assimilated to the
+ communal telepathic mind of the
+ ticklers. It did not seem to matter
+ at the time.</p>
+
+ <p>After two hours Gusterson
+ realized that he and his guides
+ were becoming part of a general
+ movement of people, a flow
+ as mindless as that of blood corpuscles
+ through the veins, yet at
+ the same time dimly purposeful&#8212;at
+ least there was the feeling
+ that it was at the behest of a
+ mind far above.</p>
+
+ <p>The flow was topside. All the
+ slidewalks seemed to lead to the
+ concourses and the escaladders.
+ Gusterson found himself part of
+ a human stream moving into the
+ tickler factory adjacent to his
+ apartment&#8212;or another factory
+ very much like it.</p>
+
+ <p class="post_break"><span class="first_word">Thereafter</span> Gusterson&#8217;s awarenesses
+ were dimmed. It
+ was as if a bigger mind were doing
+ the remembering for him and
+ it were permissible and even
+ mandatory for him to dream his
+ way along. He knew vaguely that
+ days were passing. He knew he
+ had work of a sort: at one time
+ he was bringing food to gaunt-eyed
+ tickler-mounted humans
+ working feverishly in a production
+ line&#8212;human hands and
+ tickler claws working together in
+ a blur of rapidity on silvery
+ mechanisms that moved along
+ jumpily on a great belt; at another
+ he was sweeping piles of
+ metal scraps and garbage down
+ a gray corridor.</p>
+
+ <p>Two scenes stood out a little
+ more vividly.</p>
+
+ <p>A windowless wall had been
+ knocked out for twenty feet.
+ There was blue sky outside, its
+ light almost hurtful, and a drop
+ of many stories. A file of humans
+ were being processed. When one
+ <a class="pagenum" id="page53" title="53"></a>of them got to the head of the
+ file his (or her) tickler was ceremoniously
+ unstrapped from his
+ shoulder and welded onto a silvery
+ cask with smoothly pointed
+ ends. The result was something
+ that looked&#8212;at least in the case
+ of the Mark 6 ticklers&#8212;like a
+ stubby silver submarine, child
+ size. It would hum gently, lift
+ off the floor and then fly slowly
+ out through the big blue gap.
+ Then the next tickler-ridden human
+ would step forward for processing.</p>
+
+ <p>The second scene was in a
+ park, the sky again blue, but big
+ and high with an argosy of white
+ clouds. Gusterson was lined up in
+ a crowd of humans that stretched
+ as far as he could see, row on
+ irregular row. Martial music was
+ playing. Overhead hovered a
+ flock of little silver submarines,
+ lined up rather more orderly in
+ the air than the humans were on
+ the ground. The music rose to a
+ heart-quickening climax. The
+ tickler nearest Gusterson gave
+ (as if to say, &#8220;And now&#8212;who
+ knows?&#8221;) a triple-jointed shrug
+ that stung his memory. Then the
+ ticklers took off straight up on
+ their new and shining bodies.
+ They became a flight of silver
+ geese &#8230; of silver midges &#8230;
+ and the humans around Gusterson
+ lifted a ragged cheer&#8230;.</p>
+
+ <p>That scene marked the beginning
+ of the return of Gusterson&#8217;s
+ mind and memory. He shuffled
+ around for a bit, spoke vaguely
+ to three or four people he recalled
+ from the dream days, and
+ then headed for home and supper&#8212;three
+ weeks late, and as
+ disoriented and emaciated as a
+ bear coming out of hibernation.</p>
+
+ <p class="post_break"><span class="first_word">Six months</span> later Fay was
+ having dinner with Daisy
+ and Gusterson. The cocktails had
+ been poured and the children
+ were playing in the next apartment.
+ The transparent violet
+ walls brightened, then gloomed,
+ as the sun dipped below the horizon.</p>
+
+ <p>Gusterson said, &#8220;I see where a
+ spaceship out beyond the orbit
+ of Mars was holed by a tickler.
+ I wonder where the little guys
+ are headed now?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Fay started to give a writhing
+ left-armed shrug, but stopped
+ himself with a grimace.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Maybe out of the solar system
+ altogether,&#8221; suggested Daisy,
+ who&#8217;d recently dyed her hair fire-engine
+ red and was wearing red
+ leotards.</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;They got a weary trip ahead
+ of them,&#8221; Gusterson said, &#8220;unless
+ they work out a hyper-Einsteinian
+ drive on the way.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>Fay grimaced again. He was
+ still looking rather peaked. He
+ said plaintively, &#8220;Haven&#8217;t we
+ heard enough about ticklers for
+ a while?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p><a class="pagenum" id="page54" title="54"></a>&#8220;I guess so,&#8221; Gusterson agreed,
+ &#8220;but I get to wondering about the
+ little guys. They were so serious
+ and intense about everything. I
+ never did solve their problem,
+ you know. I just shifted it onto
+ other shoulders than ours. No
+ joke intended,&#8221; he hurried to add.</p>
+
+ <p>Fay forbore to comment. &#8220;By
+ the way, Gussy,&#8221; he said, &#8220;have
+ you heard anything from the Red
+ Cross about that world-saving
+ medal I nominated you for? I
+ know you think the whole concept
+ of world-saving medals is
+ ridiculous, especially when they
+ started giving them to all heads
+ of state who didn&#8217;t start atomic
+ wars while in office, but&#8212;&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Nary a peep,&#8221; Gusterson told
+ him. &#8220;I&#8217;m not proud, Fay. I could
+ use a few world-savin&#8217; medals.
+ I&#8217;d start a flurry in the old-gold
+ market. But I don&#8217;t worry about
+ those things. I don&#8217;t have time to.
+ I&#8217;m busy these days thinkin&#8217; up
+ a bunch of new inventions.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;Gussy!&#8221; Fay said sharply, his
+ face tightening in alarm, &#8220;Have
+ you forgotten your promise?&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p>&#8220;&#8217;Course not, Fay. My new inventions
+ aren&#8217;t for Micro or any
+ other firm. They&#8217;re just a legitimate
+ part of my literary endeavors.
+ Happens my next insanity
+ novel is goin&#8217; to be about
+ a mad inventor.&#8221;</p>
+
+ <p class="closing">&#8212;FRITZ LEIBER</p>
+ <p id="the_end">&nbsp;</p>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Creature from Cleveland Depths, by
+Fritz Reuter Leiber
+
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+</pre>
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+</body>
+</html>
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