1 files changed, 1855 insertions, 0 deletions

diff --git a/23013.txt b/23013.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..1cb2bef
--- /dev/null
+++ b/23013.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,1855 @@
+Project Gutenberg's "George Washington's" Last Duel, by Thomas Nelson Page
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: "George Washington's" Last Duel
+       1891
+
+Author: Thomas Nelson Page
+
+Release Date: October 12, 2007 [EBook #23013]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK "GEORGE WASHINGTON'S" LAST DUEL ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+"GEORGE WASHINGTON'S" LAST DUEL.
+
+By Thomas Nelson Page
+
+1891
+
+
+
+
+I.
+
+Of all the places in the county "The Towers" was the favorite with the
+young people. There even before Margaret was installed the Major kept
+open house with his major domo and factotum "George Washington"; and
+when Margaret came from school, of course it was popular. Only one class
+of persons was excluded.
+
+There were few people in the county who did not know of the Major's
+antipathy to "old women," as he called them. Years no more entered into
+his definition of this class than celibacy did into his idea of an "old
+bachelor." The state of single blessedness continued in the female
+sex beyond the bloom of youth was in his eyes the sole basis of
+this unpardonable condition. He made certain concessions to the few
+individuals among his neighbors who had remained in the state of
+spinsterhood, because, as he declared, neighborliness was a greater
+virtue than consistency; but he drew the line at these few, and it was
+his boast that no old woman had ever been able to get into his Eden.
+"One of them," he used to say, "would close paradise just as readily now
+as Eve did six thousand years ago." Thus, although as Margaret grew
+up she had any other friends she desired to visit her as often as she
+chose, her wish being the supreme law at Rock Towers, she had never even
+thought of inviting one of the class against whom her uncle's ruddy face
+was so steadfastly set. The first time it ever occurred to her to invite
+any one among the proscribed was when she asked Rose Endicott to pay
+her a visit. Rose, she knew, was living with her old aunt, Miss Jemima
+Bridges, whom she had once met in R-----, and she had some apprehension
+that in Miss Jemima's opinion, the condition of the South was so much
+like that of the Sandwich Islands that the old lady would not permit
+Rose to come without her personal escort. Accordingly, one evening after
+tea, when the Major was in a particularly gracious humor, and had told
+her several of his oldest and best stories, Margaret fell upon him
+unawares, and before he had recovered from the shock of the encounter,
+had captured his consent. Then, in order to secure the leverage of a
+dispatched invitation, she had immediately written Rose, asking her
+and her aunt to come and spend a month or two with her, and had without
+delay handed it to George Washington to deliver to Lazarus to give
+Luke to carry to the post-office. The next evening, therefore, when the
+Major, after twenty-four hours of serious apprehension, reopened the
+matter with a fixed determination to coax or buy her out of the notion,
+because, as he used to say, "women can't be _reasoned_ out of a thing,
+sir, not having been reasoned in," Margaret was able to meet him with
+the announcement that it was "too late," as the letter had already been
+mailed.
+
+Seated in one of the high-backed arm-chairs, with one white hand shading
+her laughing eyes from the light, and with her evening dress daintily
+spread out about her, Margaret was amused at the look of desperation
+on the old gentleman's ruddy face. He squared his round body before
+the fire, braced himself with his plump legs well apart, as if he were
+preparing to sustain the shock of a blow, and taking a deep inspiration,
+gave a loud and prolonged "Whew!"
+
+This was too much for her.
+
+Margaret rose, and, going up to him, took his arm and looked into his
+face cajolingly.
+
+"Uncle, I was bound to have Rose, and Miss Jemima would not have let her
+come alone."
+
+The tone was the low, almost plaintive key, the effectiveness of which
+Margaret knew so well.
+
+"'Not let her!'" The Major faced her quickly. "Margaret, she is one of
+those _strong-minded_ women!"
+
+Margaret nodded brightly.
+
+"I bet my horse she wears iron-gray curls, caught on the side of her
+head with tucking combs!"
+
+"She does," declared Margaret, her eyes dancing.
+
+"And has a long nose--red at the end."
+
+"Uncle, you have seen her. I _know_ you have seen her," asserted
+Margaret, laughing up at him. "You have her very picture."
+
+The Major groaned, and vowed that he would never survive it, and that
+Margaret would go down to history as the slayer of her uncle.
+
+"I have selected my place in the graveyard," he said, with a mournful
+shake of the head. "Put me close to the fence behind the raspberry
+thicket, where I shall be secure. Tell her there are snakes there."
+
+"But, uncle, she is as good as gold," declared Margaret; "she is always
+doing good,--I believe she thinks it her mission to save the world."
+
+The Major burst out, "That's part of this modern devilment of
+substituting humanitarianism for Christianity. Next thing they'll be
+wanting to abolish hell!"
+
+The Major was so impressed with his peril that when Jeff, who had
+galloped over "for a little while," entered, announced with great
+ceremony by George Washington, he poured out all his apprehensions into
+his sympathetic ear, and it was only when he began to rally Jeff on the
+chance of his becoming a victim to Miss Endicott's charms, that Margaret
+interfered so far as to say, that Rose had any number of lovers, and one
+of them was "an awfully nice fellow, handsome and rich and all that."
+She wished "some one" would invite him down to pay a visit in the
+neighborhood, for she was "afraid Rose would find it dreadfully dull
+in the country." The Major announced that he would himself make love
+to her; but both Margaret and Jeff declared that Providence manifestly
+intended him for Miss Jemima. He then suggested that Miss Endicott's
+friend be invited to come with her, but Margaret did not think that
+would do.
+
+"What is the name of this Paragon?" inquired Jeff.
+
+Margaret gave his name. "Mr. Lawrence--Pickering Lawrence."
+
+"Why, I know him, 'Pick Lawrence.' We were college-mates, class-mates.
+He used to be in love with somebody up at his home then; but I
+never identified her with your friend. We were great cronies at the
+University. He was going to be a lawyer; but I believe somebody died
+and he came into a fortune." This history did not appear to surprise
+Margaret as much as might have been expected, and she said nothing more
+about him.
+
+About a week later Jeff took occasion to ride over to tea, and announced
+that his friend Mr. Lawrence had promised to run down and spend a few
+weeks with him. Margaret looked so pleased and dwelt so much on the
+alleged charms of the expected guest that Jeff, with a pang of jealousy,
+suddenly asserted that he "didn't think so much of Lawrence," that he
+was one of those fellows who always pretended to be very much in love
+with somebody, and was "always changing his clothes."
+
+"That's what girls like," said Margaret, decisively; and this was all
+the thanks Jeff received.
+
+
+
+
+II.
+
+There was immense excitement at the Towers next day when the visitors
+were expected. The Major took twice his usual period to dress; George
+Washington with a view to steadying his nerves braced them so tight that
+he had great difficulty in maintaining his equipoise, and even Margaret
+herself was in a flutter quite unusual to one so self-possessed as she
+generally was. When, however, the carriage drove up to the door, the
+Major, with Margaret a little in advance, met the visitors at the steps
+in all the glory of new blue broadcloth and flowered velvet. Sir Charles
+Grandison could not have been more elegant, nor Sir Roger more gracious.
+Behind him yet grander stood George--George Washington--his master's
+fac-simile in ebony down to the bandanna handkerchief and the trick of
+waving the right hand in a flowing curve. It was perhaps this spectacle
+which saved the Major, for Miss Jemima was so overwhelmed by George
+Washington's portentous dignity that she exhibited sufficient humility
+to place the Major immediately at his ease, and from this time Miss
+Jemima was at a disadvantage, and the Major felt that he was master of
+the situation.
+
+The old lady had never been in the South before except for a few days on
+the occasion when Margaret had met her and Rose Endicott at the hotel in
+R----, and she had then seen just enough to excite her inquisitiveness.
+Her natural curiosity was quite amazing. She was desperately bent on
+acquiring information, and whatever she heard she set down in a journal,
+so as soon as she became sufficiently acquainted with the Major she
+began to ply him with questions. Her seat at table was at the Major's
+right, and the questions which she put to him proved so embarrassing,
+that the old gentleman declared to Margaret that if that old woman knew
+as much as she wanted to know she would with her wisdom eclipse
+Solomon and destroy the value of the Scriptures. He finally hit upon an
+expedient. He either traversed every proposition she suggested, or else
+answered every inquiry with a statement which was simply astounding.
+She had therefore not been at the Towers a week before she was in the
+possession of facts furnished by the Major which might have staggered
+credulity itself.
+
+One of the many entries in her journal was to the effect that, according
+to Major B----, it was the custom on many plantations to shoot a slave
+every year, on the ground that such a sacrifice was generally salutary;
+that it was an expiation of past derelictions and a deterrent from
+repetition. And she added this memorandum:
+
+"The most extraordinary and revolting part of it all is that this
+barbarous custom, which might well have been supposed confined to
+Dahomey, is justified by such men as Major B---- as a pious act." She
+inserted this query,
+
+"Can it be true?"
+
+If she did not wholly believe the Major, she did not altogether
+disbelieve him. She at least was firmly convinced that it was quite
+possible. She determined to inquire privately of George Washington.
+
+She might have inquired of one of the numerous maids, whose useless
+presence embarrassed her; but the Major foreseeing that she might pursue
+her investigation in other directions, had informed her that the rite
+was guarded with the greatest care, and that it would be as much as any
+one's life were worth to divulge it. Miss Jemima, therefore, was too
+loyal to expose one of her own sex to such danger; so she was compelled
+to consult George Washington, whom she believed clever enough to take
+care of himself.
+
+She accordingly watched several days for an opportunity to see him
+alone, but without success. In fact, though she was unaware of it,
+George Washington had conceived for her a most violent dislike, and
+carefully avoided her. He had observed with growing suspicion Miss
+Jemima's investigation of matters relating to the estate, and her
+persistent pursuit of knowledge at the table had confirmed him in his
+idea that she contemplated the capture of his master and himself.
+
+Like his master, he had a natural antipathy to "old women," and as
+the Major's threat for years had varied between "setting him free next
+morning" and giving him "a mistress to make him walk straight," George
+Washington felt that prudence demanded some vigilance on his part.
+
+One day, under cover of the hilarity incident to the presence at dinner
+of Jeff and of his guest, Mr. Lawrence, Miss Jemima had pushed her
+inquisition even further than usual. George Washington watched her with
+growing suspicion, his head thrown back and his eyes half closed, and
+so, when, just before dinner was over, he went into the hall to see
+about the fire, he, after his habit, took occasion to express his
+opinion of affairs to the sundry members of the family who looked down
+at him from their dim gilt frames on the wall.
+
+"I ain't pleased wid de way things is gwine on heah at all," he
+declared, poking the fire viciously and addressing his remark more
+particularly to an old gentlemen who in ruffles and red velvet sat with
+crossed legs in a high-backed chair just over the piano. "Heah me an'
+Marse Nat an' Miss Margaret been gittin' long all dese years easy an'
+peaceable, an' Marse Jeff been comin' over sociable all de time, an'
+d' ain' been no trouble nor nuttin' till now dat ole ooman what ax mo'
+questions 'n a thousan' folks kin answer got to come heah and set up
+to Marse Nat, an' talk to him so he cyarn hardly eat." He rose from
+his knees at the hearth, and looking the old gentleman over the piano
+squarely in the face, asserted, "She got her mine sot on bein' my
+mistis, dat's what 'tis!" This relieved him so that he returned to his
+occupation of "chunking" the fire, adding, "When women sets de mines on
+a thing, you jes' well gin up!"
+
+So intent was he on relieving himself of the burden on his mind that he
+did not hear the door softly open, and did not know any one had entered
+until an enthusiastic voice behind him exclaimed:
+
+"Oh! what a profound observation!" George Washington started in much
+confusion; for it was Miss Jemima, who had stolen away from the table to
+intercept him at his task of "fixing the fires." She had, however, heard
+only his concluding sentence, and she now advanced with a beaming smile
+intended to conciliate the old butler. George Washington gave the hearth
+a final and hasty sweep, and was retiring in a long detour around Miss
+Jemima when she accosted him.
+
+"Uncle George."
+
+"Marm." He stopped and half turned.
+
+"What a charming old place you have here!"
+
+George Washington cast his eye up towards the old gentleman in the
+high-backed chair, as much as to say, "You see there? What did I tell
+you?" Then he said briefly:
+
+"Yes, 'm."
+
+"What is its extent? How many acres are there in it?"
+
+George Washington positively started. He took in several of the family
+in his glance of warning.
+
+"Well, I declare, marm, I don't know," he began; then it occurring
+to him that the honor of the family was somehow at stake and must
+be upheld, he added, "A leetle mo' 'n a hundred thousan', marm." His
+exactness was convincing. Miss Jemima threw up her hands:
+
+"Prodigious! How many nee---- how many persons of the African blood are
+there on this vast domain?" she inquired, getting nearer to her point.
+
+George, observing how much she was impressed, eyed her with rising
+disdain:
+
+"Does you mean niggers, m'm? 'Bout three thousan', mum."
+
+Another exclamation of astonishment burst from the old lady's lips.
+
+"If you will permit me to inquire, Uncle George, how old are you?"
+
+"She warn see if I kin wuck--dat's what she's after," said George to
+himself, with a confidential look at a young gentleman in a hunting
+dress on the wall between two windows. Then he said:
+
+"Well, I declare, mum, you got me dyah. I ixpec' I is mos ninety years
+ole, I reckon I'se ol'er 'n you is--I reckon I is."
+
+"Oh!" exclaimed Miss Jemima with a little start as if she had pricked
+her finger with a needle.
+
+"Marse Nat kin tell you," continued George; "if you don't know how ole
+you is, all you got to do is to ax him, an' he kin tell you--he got it
+all set down in a book--he kin tell how ole you is to a day."
+
+"Dear, how frightful!" exclaimed Miss Jemima, just as the Major entered
+somewhat hastily.
+
+"He's a gone coon," said George Washington through the crack of the door
+to the old gentleman in ruffles, as he pulled the door slowly to from
+the outside.
+
+The Major had left the young people in the dining-room and had come to
+get a book to settle a disputed quotation. He had found the work and was
+trying to read it without the ignominy of putting on his glasses, when
+Miss Jemima accosted him.
+
+"Major, your valet appears to be a very intelligent person."
+
+The Major turned upon her.
+
+"My 'valet'! Madam! I have no valet!"
+
+"I mean your body servant, your butler"--explained Miss Jemima. "I have
+been much impressed by him."
+
+"George!--George Washington?--you mean George Washington! No, madam, he
+has not a particle of intelligence.--He is grossly and densely stupid. I
+have never in fifty years been able to get an idea into his head."
+
+"Oh, dear! and I thought him so clever! I was wondering how so
+intelligent a person, so well informed, could be a slave."
+
+The Major faced about.
+
+"George! George Washington a slave! Madam, you misapprehend the
+situation. _He_ is no slave. I am the slave, not only of him but of
+three hundred more as arrogant and exacting as the Czar, and as lazy as
+the devil!"
+
+Miss Jemima threw up her hands in astonishment, and the Major, who was
+on a favorite theme, proceeded:
+
+"Why, madam, the very coat on my back belongs to that rascal George
+Washington, and I do not know when he may take a fancy to order me out
+of it. My soul is not my own. He drinks my whiskey, steals my tobacco,
+and takes my clothes before my face. As likely as not he will have on
+this very waistcoat before the week is out."
+
+The Major stroked his well-filled velvet vest caressingly, as if he
+already felt the pangs of the approaching separation.
+
+"Oh, dear! You amaze me," began Miss Jemima.
+
+"Yes, madam, I should be amazed myself, except that I have stood it
+so long. Why, I had once an affair with an intimate and valued friend,
+Judge Carrington. You may have heard of him, a very distinguished man!
+and I was indiscreet enough to carry that rascal George Washington to
+the field, thinking, of course, that I ought to go like a gentleman, and
+although the affair was arranged after we had taken our positions, and I
+did not have the pleasure of shooting at him.
+
+"Good heavens!" exclaimed Miss Jemima. "_The pleasure of shooting at
+your friend!_ Monstrous!"
+
+"I say I did not have that pleasure," corrected the Major, blandly; "the
+affair was, as I stated, arranged without a shot; yet do you know? that
+rascal George Washington will not allow that it was so, and I understand
+he recounts with the most harrowing details the manner in which 'he and
+I,' as he terms it, shot my friend--murdered him."
+
+Miss Jemima gave an "Ugh. Horrible! What depravity!" she said, almost
+under her breath.
+
+The Major caught the words.
+
+"Yes, madam, it is horrible to think of such depravity. Unquestionably
+he deserves death; but what can one do! The law, kept feeble by
+politicians, does not permit one to kill them, however worthless they
+are (he observed Miss Jemima's start,)--except, of course, by way of
+example, under certain peculiar circumstances, as I have stated to you."
+He bowed blandly.
+
+Miss Jemima was speechless, so he pursued.
+
+"I have sometimes been tempted to make a break for liberty, and have
+thought that if I could once get the rascal on the field, with my old
+pistols, I would settle with him which of us is the master."
+
+"Do you mean that you would--would shoot him?" gasped Miss Jemima.
+
+"Yes, madam, unless he should be too quick for me," replied the Major,
+blandly,--"or should order me from the field, which he probably would
+do."
+
+The old lady turned and hastily left the room.
+
+
+
+
+III.
+
+Though Miss Jemima after this regarded the Major with renewed suspicion,
+and confided to her niece that she did not feel at all safe with him,
+the old gentleman was soon on the same terms with Rose that he was on
+with Margaret herself. He informed her that he was just twenty-five
+his "last grass," and that he never could, would, or should grow a year
+older. He notified Jeff and his friend Mr. Lawrence at the table that
+he regarded himself as a candidate for Miss Endicott's hand, and had
+"staked" the ground, and he informed her that as soon as he could bring
+himself to break an oath which he had made twenty years before, never
+to address another woman, he intended to propose to her. Rose, who had
+lingered at the table a moment behind the other ladies, assured the
+old fellow that he need fear no rival, and that if he could not muster
+courage to propose before she left, as it was leap-year, she would
+exercise her prerogative and propose herself. The Major, with his hand
+on his heart as he held the door open for her, vowed as Rose swept past
+him her fine eyes dancing, and her face dimpling with fun, that he was
+ready that moment to throw himself at her feet if it were not for the
+difficulty of getting up from his knees.
+
+A little later in the afternoon Margaret was down among the rose-bushes,
+where Lawrence had joined her, after Rose had executed that inexplicable
+feminine manoeuvre of denying herself to oppose a lover's request.
+
+Jeff was leaning against a pillar, pretending to talk to Rose, but
+listening more to the snatches of song in Margaret's rich voice, or to
+the laughter which floated up to them from the garden below.
+
+Suddenly he said abruptly, "I believe that fellow Lawrence is in love
+with Margaret."
+
+Rose insisted on knowing what ground he had for so peculiar an opinion,
+on which he incontinently charged his friend with being one of "those
+fellows who falls in love with every pretty girl on whom he lays his
+eyes," and declared that he had done nothing but hang around Margaret
+ever since he had come to the county.
+
+What Rose might have replied to this unexpected attack on one whom she
+reserved for her own especial torture cannot be recorded, for the
+Major suddenly appeared around the verandah. Both the young people
+instinctively straightened up.
+
+"Ah! you rascals! I catch you!" he cried, his face glowing with jollity.
+"Jeff, you'd better look out,--honey catches a heap of flies, and sticks
+mighty hard. Rose, don't show him any mercy,--kick him, trample on him."
+
+"I am not honey," said Rose, with a captivating look out of her bright
+eyes.
+
+"Yes, you are. If you are not you are the very rose from which it is
+distilled."
+
+"Oh, how charming!" cried the young lady. "How I wish some woman could
+hear that said to me!"
+
+"Don't give him credit before you hear all his proverb," said Jeff. "Do
+you know what he said in the dining-room?"
+
+"Don't credit _him_ at all," replied the Major. "Don't believe
+him--don't listen to him. He is green with envy at my success." And the
+old fellow shook with amusement.
+
+"What did he say? Please tell me." She appealed to Jeff, and then as he
+was about to speak, seeing the Major preparing to run, she caught him.
+"No, you have to listen. Now tell me," to Jeff again.
+
+"Well, he said honey caught lots of flies, and women lots of fools."
+
+Rose fell back, and pointing her tapering finger at the Major, who, with
+mock humility, was watching her closely, declared that she would "never
+believe in him again." The old fellow met her with an unblushing denial
+of ever having made such a statement or held such traitorous sentiments,
+as it was, he maintained, a well established fact that flies never eat
+honey at all.
+
+From this moment the Major conceived the idea that Jeff had been caught
+by his fair visitor. It had never occurred to him that any one could
+aspire to Margaret's hand. He had thought at one time that Jeff was in
+danger of falling a victim to the charms of the pretty daughter of an
+old friend and neighbor of his, and though it appeared rather a pity
+for a young fellow to fall in love "out of the State," yet the claims
+of hospitality, combined with the fact that rivalry with Mr. Lawrence,
+against whom, on account of his foppishness, he had conceived some
+prejudice, promised a delightful excitement, more than counterbalanced
+that objectionable feature. He therefore immediately constituted himself
+Jeff's ardent champion, and always spoke of the latter's guest as "that
+fellow Lawrence."
+
+Accordingly, when, one afternoon, on his return from his ride, he found
+Jeff, who had ridden over to tea, lounging around alone, in a state
+of mind as miserable as a man should be who, having come with the
+expectation of basking in the sunshine of Beauty's smile, finds that
+Beauty is out horseback riding with a rival, he was impelled to give him
+aid, countenance, and advice. He immediately attacked him, therefore,
+on his forlorn and woebegone expression, and declared that at his age
+he would have long ago run the game to earth, and have carried her home
+across his saddle-bow.
+
+"You are afraid, sir--afraid," he asserted, hotly. "I don't know what
+you fellows are coming to."
+
+Jeff admitted the accusation. "He feared," he said, "that he could not
+get a girl to have him." He was looking rather red when the Major cut
+him short.
+
+"'Fear,' sir! Fear catches kicks, not kisses. 'Not _get_ a girl to have
+you!' Well, upon my soul! Why don't you run after her and bawl like a
+baby for her to stop, whilst you get down on your knees and--_get_ her
+to have you!"
+
+Jeff was too dejected to be stung even by this unexpected attack. He
+merely said, dolorously:
+
+"Well, how the deuce can it be done?"
+
+"_Make_ her, sir--_make_ her," cried the Major. "Coerce her--compel
+her." The old fellow was in his element. He shook his grizzled head, and
+brought his hollowed hands together with sounding emphasis.
+
+Jeff suggested that perhaps she might be impregnable, but the old fellow
+affirmed that no woman was this; that no fortress was too strong to be
+carried; that it all depended on the assailant and the vehemence of
+the assault; and if one did not succeed, another would. The young man
+brightened. His mentor, however, dashed his rising hopes by saying:
+"But mark this, sir, no coward can succeed. Women are rank cowards
+themselves, and they demand courage in their conquerors. Do you think
+a woman will marry a man who trembles before her? By Jove, sir! He must
+make her tremble!"
+
+Jeff admitted dubiously that this sounded like wisdom. The Major burst
+out, "Wisdom, sir! It is the wisdom of Solomon, who had a thousand
+wives!"
+
+From this time the Major constituted himself Jeff's ally, and was ready
+to take the field on his behalf against any and all comers. Therefore,
+when he came into the hall one day when Rose was at the piano, running
+her fingers idly over the keys, whilst Lawrence was leaning over her
+talking, he exclaimed:
+
+"Hello! what treason's this? I'll tell Jeff. He was consulting me only
+yesterday about--"
+
+Lawrence muttered an objurgation; but Rose wheeled around on the
+piano-stool and faced him.
+
+--"Only yesterday about the best mode of winning--" He stopped
+tantalizingly.
+
+"Of winning what? I am so interested." She rose and stood just before
+him with a cajoling air. The Major shut his mouth tight.
+
+"I'm as dumb as an oyster. Do you think I would betray my friend's
+confidence--for nothing? I'm as silent as the oracle of Delphi."
+
+Lawrence looked anxious, and Rose followed the old man closely.
+
+"I'll pay you anything."
+
+"I demand payment in coin that buys youth from age." He touched his
+lips, and catching Rose leaned slowly forward and kissed her.
+
+"Now, tell me--what did he say? A bargain's a bargain," she laughed as
+Lawrence almost ground his teeth.
+
+"Well, he said,--he said, let me see, what did he say?" paltered the
+Major. "He said he could not get a girl he loved to have him."
+
+"Oh! did he say _that?_" She was so much interested that she just knew
+that Lawrence half stamped his foot.
+
+"Yes, he said just that, and I told him--"
+
+"Well,--what did you say?"
+
+"Oh! I did not bargain to tell what _I_ told _him_. I received payment
+only for betraying his confidence. If you drive a bargain I will drive
+one also."
+
+Rose declared that he was the greatest old screw she ever knew, but she
+paid the price, and waited.
+
+"Well?--"
+
+"'Well?' Of course, I told him 'well.' I gave him the best advice a man
+ever received. A lawyer would have charged him five hundred dollars for
+it. I'm an oracle on heart-capture."
+
+Rose laughingly declared she would have to consult him herself, and when
+the Major told her to consult only her mirror, gave him a courtesy and
+wished he would teach some young men of her acquaintance to make such
+speeches. The old fellow vowed, however, that they were unteachable;
+that he would as soon expect to teach young moles.
+
+
+
+
+IV.
+
+It was not more than a half hour after this when George Washington came
+in and found the Major standing before the long mirror, turning around
+and holding his coat back from his plump sides so as to obtain a fair
+view of his ample dimensions.
+
+"George Washington," said he.
+
+"Suh."
+
+"I'm afraid I'm growing a little too stout."
+
+George Washington walked around and looked at him with the critical gaze
+of a butcher appraising a fat ox.
+
+"Oh! nor, suh, you aint, not to say _too_ stout," he finally decided as
+the result of this inspection, "you jis gittin' sort o' potely. Hit's
+monsus becomin' to you."
+
+"Do you think so?" The Major was manifestly flattered. "I was
+apprehensive that I might be growing a trifle fat,"--he turned carefully
+around before the mirror,--"and from a fat old man and a scrawny old
+woman, Heaven deliver us, George Washington!"
+
+"Nor, suh, you ain' got a ounce too much meat on you," said George,
+reassuringly; "how much you weigh, Marse Nat, last time you was on de
+stilyards?" he inquired with wily interest.
+
+The Major faced him.
+
+"George Washington, the last time I weighed I tipped the beam at one
+hundred and forty-three pounds, and I had the waist of a girl."
+
+He laid his fat hands with the finger tips touching on his round sides
+about where the long since reversed curves of the lamented waist once
+were, and gazed at George with comical melancholy.
+
+"Dat's so," assented the latter, with wonted acquiescence. "I 'members
+hit well, suh, dat wuz when me and you wuz down in Gloucester tryin' to
+git up spunk to co'te Miss Ailsy Mann. Dat's mo'n thirty years ago."
+
+The Major reflected. "It cannot be thirty years!--thir--ty--years," he
+mused.
+
+"Yes, suh, an' better, too. 'Twuz befo' we fit de duil wid Jedge
+Carrington. I know dat, 'cause dat's what we shoot him 'bout--'cause he
+co'te Miss Ailsy an' cut we out."
+
+"Damn your memory! Thirty years! I could dance all night then--every
+night in the week--and now I can hardly mount my horse without getting
+the thumps."
+
+George Washington, affected by his reminiscences, declared that he
+had heard one of the ladies saying, "just the other day," what "a fine
+portly gentleman" he was.
+
+The Major brightened.
+
+"Did you hear that? George Washington, if you tell me a lie I'll set
+you free!" It was his most terrible threat, used only on occasions of
+exceptional provocation.
+
+George vowed that no reward could induce him to be guilty of such
+an enormity, and followed it up by so skilful an allusion to the
+progressing youth of his master that the latter swore he was right,
+and that he could dance better than he could at thirty, and to prove it
+executed, with extraordinary agility for a man who rode at twenty stone,
+a _pas seul_ which made the floor rock and set the windows and ornaments
+to rattling as if there had been an earthquake. Suddenly, with a loud
+"Whew," he flung himself into an arm-chair, panting and perspiring.
+"It's you, sir," he gasped--"you put me up to it."
+
+"Nor, suh; tain me, Marse Nat--I's tellin' you de truf," asserted
+George, moved to defend himself.
+
+"You infernal old rascal, it is you," panted the Major, still mopping
+his face--"you have been running riot so long you need regulation--I'll
+tell you what I'll do--I'll marry and give you a mistress to manage
+you--yes, sir, I'll get married right away. I know the very woman for
+you--she'll make you walk chalk!"
+
+For thirty years this had been his threat, so George was no more alarmed
+than he was at the promise of being sold, or turned loose upon the world
+as a free man. He therefore inquired solemnly,
+
+"Marse Nat, le' me ax you one thing--you ain' thinkin' 'bout givin' me
+that ole one for a mistis is you?"
+
+"What old one, fool?" The Major stopped panting. George Washington
+denoted the side of his head where Miss Jemima's thin curls nestled.
+
+"Get out of this room. Tell Dilsy to pack your chest, I'll send you off
+to-morrow morning."
+
+George Washington blinked with the gravity of a terrapin. It might have
+been obtuseness; or it might have been silent but exquisite enjoyment
+which lay beneath his black skin.
+
+"George Washington," said the Major almost in a whisper, "what made you
+think that?"
+
+It was to George Washington's undying credit that not a gleam flitted
+across his ebony countenance as he said solemnly,
+
+"Marse Nat, I ain say I _think_ nuttin--I jis ax you, Is you?--She been
+meckin mighty partic'lar quiration 'bout de plantation and how many
+niggers we got an' all an' I jis spicionate she got her eye sort o' set
+on you an' me, dat's all."
+
+The Major bounced to his feet, and seizing his hat and gloves from the
+table, burst out of the room. A minute later he was shouting for his
+horse in a voice which might have been heard a mile.
+
+
+
+
+V.
+
+Jeff laid to heart the Major's wisdom; but when it came to acting upon
+it the difficulty arose. He often wondered why his tongue became tied
+and his throat grew dry when he was in Margaret's presence these days
+and even just thought of saying anything serious to her. He had known
+Margaret ever since she was a wee bit of a baby, and had often carried
+her in his arms when she was a little girl and even after she grew up
+to be "right big." He had thought frequently of late that he would be
+willing to die if he might but take her in his arms. It was, therefore,
+with no little disquietude that he observed what he considered his
+friend's growing fancy for her. By the time Lawrence had taken a few
+strolls in the garden and a horseback ride or two with her Jeff was
+satisfied that he was in love with her, and before a week was out he was
+consumed with jealousy. Margaret was not the girl to indulge in repining
+on account of her lover's unhappiness. If Jeff had had a finger-ache, or
+had a drop of sorrow but fallen in his cup her eyes would have
+softened and her face would have shown how fully she felt with him; but
+this--this was different. To wring his heart was a part of the business
+of her young ladyhood; it was a healthy process from which would come
+greater devotion and more loyal constancy. Then, it was so delightful to
+make one whom she liked as she did Jeff look so miserable. Perhaps some
+time she would reward him--after a long while, though. Thus, poor Jeff
+spent many a wretched hour cursing his fate and cursing Pick Lawrence.
+He thought he would create a diversion by paying desperate attention to
+Margaret's guest; but it resolved itself on the first opportunity into
+his opening his heart and confiding all his woes to her. In doing this
+he fell into the greatest contradiction, declaring one moment that no
+one suspected that he was in love with Margaret, and the next vowing
+that she had every reason to know he adored her, as he had been in love
+with her all her life. It was one afternoon in the drawing-room. Rose,
+with much sapience, assured him that no woman could have but one reason
+to know it. Jeff dolefully inquired what it was.
+
+Rising and walking up to him she said in a mysterious whisper,--.
+
+"Tell her."
+
+Jeff, after insisting that he had been telling her for years, lapsed
+into a declaration of helpless perplexity. "How can I tell her more than
+I have been telling her all along?" he groaned. Rose said she would show
+him. She seated herself on the sofa, spread out her dress and placed him
+behind her.
+
+"Now, do as I tell you--no, not so,--_so_;--now lean over,--put
+your arm--no, it is not necessary to touch me," as Jeff, with prompt
+apprehension, fell into the scheme, and declared that he was all right
+in a rehearsal, and that it was only in the real drama he failed. "Now
+say 'I love you.'" Jeff said it. They were in this attitude when the
+door opened suddenly and Margaret stood facing them, her large eyes
+opened wider than ever. She backed out and shut the door.
+
+Jeff sprang up, his face very red.
+
+Lawyers know that the actions of a man on being charged with a crime are
+by no means infallible evidence of his guilt,--but it is hard to satisfy
+juries of this fact. If the juries were composed of women perhaps it
+would be impossible.
+
+The ocular demonstration of a man's arm around a girl's waist is
+difficult to explain on more than one hypothesis.
+
+After this Margaret treated Jeff with a rigor which came near destroying
+the friendship of a lifetime; and Jeff became so desperate that inside
+of a week he had had his first quarrel with Lawrence, who had begun to
+pay very devoted attention to Margaret, and as that young man was in no
+mood to lay balm on a bruised wound, mischief might have been done had
+not the Major arrived opportunely on the scene just as the quarrel
+came to a white-heat. It was in the hall one morning. There had been a
+quarrel. Jeff had just demanded satisfaction; Lawrence had just promised
+to afford him this peculiar happiness, and they were both glaring at
+each other, when the Major sailed in at the door, ruddy and smiling, and
+laying his hat on the table and his riding-whip across it, declared
+that before he would stand such a gloomy atmosphere as that created by a
+man's glowering looks, when there was so much sunshine just lying around
+to be basked in, he would agree to be "eternally fried in his own fat."
+
+"Why, I had expected at least two affairs before this," he said
+jovially, as he pulled off his gloves, "and I'll be hanged if I shan't
+have to court somebody myself to save the honor of the family."
+
+Jeff with dignity informed him that an affair was then brewing, and
+Lawrence intimated that they were both interested, when the Major
+declared that he would "advise the young lady to discard both and accept
+a soberer and a wiser man." They announced that it was a more serious
+affair than he had in mind, and let fall a hint of what had occurred.
+The Major for a moment looked gravely from one to the other, and
+suggested mutual explanations and retractions; but when both young men
+insisted that they were quite determined, and proposed to have a meeting
+at once, he changed. He walked over to the window and looked out for a
+moment. Then turned and suddenly offered to represent both parties. Jeff
+averred that such a proceeding was outside of the Code; this the Major
+gravely admitted; but declared that the affair even to this point
+appeared not to have been conducted in entire conformity with that
+incomparable system of rules, and urged that as Mr. Lawrence was a
+stranger and as it was desirable to have the affair conducted with as
+much secrecy and dispatch as possible, it might be well for them to meet
+as soon as convenient, and he would attend rather as a witness than as a
+second. The young men assented to this, and the Major, now thoroughly in
+earnest, with much solemnity, offered the use of his pistols, which was
+accepted.
+
+In the discussion which followed, the Major took the lead, and suggested
+sunset that afternoon as a suitable time, and the grass-plat between the
+garden and the graveyard as a convenient and secluded spot. This also
+was agreed to, though Lawrence's face wore a soberer expression than had
+before appeared upon it.
+
+The Major's entire manner had changed; his levity had suddenly given
+place to a gravity most unusual to him, and instead of his wonted
+jollity his face wore an expression of the greatest seriousness.
+He, after a casual glance at Lawrence, suddenly insisted that it was
+necessary to exchange a cartel, and opening his secretary, with much
+pomp proceeded to write. "You see--if things were not regular it would
+be butchery," he explained, considerately, to Lawrence, who winced
+slightly at the word. "I don't want to see you murder each other,"
+he went on in a slow comment as he wrote, "I wish you, since you are
+determined to shoot--each other--to do it like--gentlemen." He took a
+new sheet. Suddenly he began to shout,--
+
+"George--George Washington." There was no answer, so as he wrote on he
+continued to shout at intervals, "George Washington!"
+
+After a sufficient period had elapsed for a servant crossing the yard
+to call to another, who sent a third to summon George, and for that
+functionary to take a hasty potation from a decanter as he passed
+through the dining-room at his usual stately pace, he appeared at the
+door.
+
+"Did you call, suh?" he inquired, with that additional dignity which
+bespoke his recourse to the sideboard as intelligibly as if he had
+brought the decanters in his hand. "Did I call!" cried the Major,
+without looking up. "Why don't you come when you hear me?"
+
+George Washington steadied himself on his feet, and assumed an aggrieved
+expression.
+
+"Do you suppose I can wait for you to drink all the whiskey in my
+sideboard? Are you getting deaf-drunk as well as blind-drunk?" he asked,
+still writing industriously.
+
+George Washington gazed up at his old master in the picture on the wall,
+and shook his head sadly.
+
+"Nor, suh, Marse Nat. You know I ain' drink none to git drunk. I is a
+member o' de church. I is full of de sperit."
+
+The Major, as he blotted his paper, assured him that he knew he was
+much fuller of it than were his decanters, and George Washington was
+protesting further, when his master rose, and addressing Jeff as the
+challenger, began to read. He had prepared a formal cartel, and all
+the subsequent and consequential documents which appear necessary to a
+well-conducted and duly bloodthirsty meeting under the duello, and
+he read them with an impressiveness which was only equalled by the
+portentious dignity of George Washington. As he stood balancing himself,
+and took in the solemn significance of the matter, his whole air
+changed; he raised his head, struck a new attitude, and immediately
+assumed the position of one whose approval of the affair was of the
+utmost moment.
+
+The Major stated that he was glad that they had decided to use the
+regular duelling pistols, not only as they were more convenient--he
+having a very fine, accurate pair--but as they were smooth bore and
+carried a good, large ball, which made a clean, pretty hole, without
+tearing. "Now," he explained kindly to Lawrence, "the ball from one of
+these infernal rifled concerns goes gyrating and tearing its way through
+you, and makes an orifice like a _posthole_." He illustrated his meaning
+with a sweeping spiral motion of his clenched fist.
+
+Lawrence grew a shade whiter, and wondered how Jeff felt and looked,
+whilst Jeff set his teeth more firmly as the Major added blandly that
+"no gentleman wanted to blow another to pieces like a Sepoy mutineer."
+
+George Washington's bow of exaggerated acquiescence drew the Major's
+attention to him.
+
+"George Washington, are my pistols clean?" he asked.
+
+"Yes, suh, clean as yo' shut-front," replied George Washington, grandly.
+
+"Well, clean them again."
+
+"Yes, suh," and George was disappearing with ponderous dignity, when the
+Major called him, "George Washington."
+
+"Yes, suh."
+
+"Tell carpenter William to come to the porch. His services may be
+needed," he explained to Lawrence, "in case there should be a casualty,
+you know."
+
+"Yes, suh." George Washington disappeared. A moment later he reopened
+the door.
+
+"Marse Nat."
+
+"Sir."
+
+"Shall I send de overseer to dig de graves, suh?"
+
+Lawrence could not help exclaiming, "Good----!" and then checked
+himself; and Jeff gave a perceptible start.
+
+"I will attend to that," said the Major, and George Washington went out
+with an order from Jeff to take the box to the office.
+
+The Major laid the notes on his desk and devoted himself to a brief
+eulogy on the beautiful symmetry of "the Code," illustrating his
+views by apt references to a number of instances in which its absolute
+impartiality had been established by the instant death of both parties.
+He had just suggested that perhaps the two young men might desire to
+make some final arrangements, when George Washington reappeared, drunker
+and more imposing than before. In place of his ordinary apparel he had
+substituted a yellowish velvet waistcoat and a blue coat with brass
+buttons, both of which were several sizes too large for him, as they
+had for several years been stretched over the Major's ample person. He
+carried a well-worn beaver hat in his hand, which he never donned except
+on extraordinary occasions.
+
+"De pistils is ready, suh," he said, in a fine voice, which he
+always employed when he proposed to be peculiarly effective. His
+self-satisfaction was monumental.
+
+"Where did you get that coat and waistcoat from, sir?" thundered the
+Major. "Who told you you might have them?"
+
+George Washington was quite taken aback at the unexpectedness of the
+assault, and he shuffled one foot uneasily.
+
+"Well, you see, suh," he began, vaguely, "I know you warn' never gwine
+to wear 'em no mo', and seein' dat dis was a very serious recasion,
+an' I wuz rip-ripresentin' Marse Jeff in a jewel, I thought I ought to
+repear like a gent'man on dis recasion."
+
+"You infernal rascal, didn't I tell you that the next time you took my
+clothes without asking my permission, I was going to shoot you?"
+
+The Major faced his chair around with a jerk, but George Washington had
+in the interim recovered himself.
+
+"Yes, suh, I remembers dat," he said, complacently, "but dat didn't have
+no recose to dese solemn recasions when I rip-ripresents a gent'man in
+de Code."
+
+"Yes, sir, it did, I had this especially in mind," declared the Major,
+unblushingly--"I gave you fair notice, and damn me! if I don't do it
+too before I'm done with you--I'd sell you to-morrow morning if it would
+not be a cheat on the man who was fool enough to buy you. My best coat
+and waistcoat!"--he looked affectionately at the garments.
+
+George Washington evidently knew the way to soothe him--"Who ever heah
+de beat of dat!" he said in a tone of mild complaint, partly to the
+young men and partly to his old master in the ruffles and velvet over
+the piano, "Marse Nat, you reckon I ain' got no better manners 'n to
+teck you _bes'_ coat and weskit! Dis heah coat and weskit nuver did you
+no favor anyways--I hear Miss Marg'ret talkin' 'bout it de fust time you
+ever put 'em on. Dat's de reason I tuck 'em." Having found an excuse he
+was as voluble as a river--"I say to myself, I ain' gwine let my
+young marster wyar dem things no mo' roun' heah wid strange ladies an'
+gent'man stayin' in de house too,--an' I so consarned about it, I say,
+'George Wash'n'n, you got to git dem things and wyar 'em yo'self to keep
+him f'om doin' it, dat's what you got to do,' I say, and dat's de reason
+I tuk 'em." He looked the picture of self-sacrifice.
+
+But the Major burst forth on him: "Why, you lying rascal, that's three
+different reasons you have given in one breath for taking them."
+At which George Washington shook his woolly head with doleful
+self-abnegation.
+
+"Just look at them!" cried the Major--"My favorite waistcoat! There is
+not a crack or a brack in them--They look as nice as they did the day
+they were bought!"
+
+This was too much for George Washington. "Dat's the favor, suh, of
+de pussen what has I t 'em on," he said, bowing grandly; at which the
+Major, finding his ire giving way to amusement, drove him from the room,
+swearing that if he did not shoot him that evening he would set him free
+to-morrow morning.
+
+
+
+
+VI.
+
+As the afternoon had worn away, and whilst the two principals in the
+affair were arranging their matters, the Major had been taking every
+precaution to carry out the plan for the meeting. The effect of the
+approaching duel upon the old gentleman was somewhat remarkable. He was
+in unusually high spirits; his rosy countenance wore an expression of
+humorous content; and, from time to time as he bustled about, a smile
+flitted across his face, or a chuckle sounded from the depths of his
+satin stock. He fell in with Miss Jemima, and related to her a series of
+anecdotes respecting duelling and homicide generally, so lurid in their
+character that she groaned over the depravity of a region where such
+barbarity was practised; but when he solemnly informed her that he felt
+satisfied from the signs of the time that some one would be shot in the
+neighborhood before twenty-four hours were over, the old lady determined
+to return home next day.
+
+It was not difficult to secure secrecy, as the Major had given
+directions that no one should be admitted to the garden.
+
+For at least an hour before sunset he had been giving directions to
+George Washington which that dignitary would have found some difficulty
+in executing, even had he remained sober; but which, in his existing
+condition, was as impossible as for him to change the kinks in his hair.
+The Major had solemnly assured him that if he got drunk he would shoot
+him on the spot, and George Washington had as solemnly consented that he
+would gladly die if he should be found in this unprecedented condition.
+Immediately succeeding which, however, under the weight of the momentous
+matters submitted to him, he had, after his habit, sought aid and
+comfort of his old friends, the Major's decanters, and he was shortly in
+that condition when he felt that the entire universe depended upon him.
+He blacked his shoes at least twenty times, and marched back and
+forth in the yard with such portentous importance that the servants
+instinctively shrunk away from his august presence. One of the children,
+in their frolics, ran against him; George Washington simply said, "Git
+out my way," and without pausing in his gait or deigning to look at him,
+slapped him completely over.
+
+A maid ventured to accost him jocularly to know why he was so finely
+dressed. George Washington overwhelmed her with a look of such infinite
+contempt and such withering scorn that all the other servants forthwith
+fell upon her for "interferin' in Unc' George Wash'n'ton's business." At
+last the Major entered the garden and bade George Washington follow
+him; and George Washington having paid his twentieth visit to the
+dining-room, and had a final interview with the liquor-case, and having
+polished up his old beaver anew, left the office by the side door,
+carrying under his arm a mahogany box about two feet long and one foot
+wide, partially covered with a large linen cloth. His beaver hat was
+cocked on the side of his head, with an air supposed to be impressive.
+He wore the Major's coat and flowered velvet waistcoat respecting which
+he had won so signal a victory in the morning, and he flaunted a large
+bandanna handkerchief, the ownership of which he had transferred still
+more recently. The Major's orders to George Washington were to convey
+the box to the garden in a secret manner, but George Washington was far
+too much impressed with the importance of the part he bore in the affair
+to lose the opportunity of impressing the other servants. Instead,
+therefore, of taking a by-path, he marched ostentatiously through the
+yard with a manner which effected his object, if not his master's,
+and which struck the entire circle of servants with inexpressible awe.
+However, after he gained the garden and reached a spot where he was no
+longer in danger of being observed by any one, he adopted a manner
+of the greatest secrecy, and proceeded to the place selected for the
+meeting with a degree of caution which could not have been greater had
+he been covertly stealing his way through a band of hostile Indians. The
+spot chosen for the meeting was a grass plot bounded on three sides
+by shrubbery and on the fourth by the wall of the little square within
+which had been laid to rest the mortal remains of some half dozen
+generations of the Burwells. Though the grass was green and the sky
+above was of the deep steely hue which the late afternoon brings; yet
+the thick shrubbery which secluded the place gave it an air of wildness,
+and the tops of the tall monuments gleaming white over the old wall
+against the dark cedars, added an impression of ghostliness which had
+long caused the locality to be generally avoided by the negroes from the
+time that the afternoon shadows began to lengthen.
+
+George Washington, indeed, as he made his way stealthily down towards
+the rendezvous glanced behind him once or twice as if he were not at
+all certain that some impalpable pursuer were not following him, and he
+almost jumped out of his shoes when the Major, who had for ten minutes
+been pacing up and down the grass-plat in a fume of impatience, caught
+sight of him and suddenly shouted, "Why don't you come on, you--rascal?"
+
+As soon as George Washington recognized that the voice was not
+supernatural, he recovered his courage and at once disarmed the Major,
+who, watch in hand, was demanding if he supposed he had nothing else
+to do than to wait for him all night, by falling into his vein and
+acquiescing in all that he said in abuse of the yet absent duellists, or
+at least of one of them.
+
+He spoke in terms of the severest reprobation of Mr. Lawrence, declaring
+that he had never had a high opinion of his courage, or, indeed, of any
+quality which he possessed. He was, perhaps, not quite prepared to join
+in an attack on Jeff, of whose frequent benefactions he entertained a
+lively recollection amounting to gratitude, at least in the accepted
+French idea of that virtue, and as he had constituted himself Jeff's
+especial representative for this "solemn recasion," he felt a personal
+interest in defending him to some extent.
+
+At last the Major ordered him to take out the weapons and some little
+time was spent in handling them, George Washington examining them with
+the air of a connoisseur. The Major asserted that he had never seen a
+prettier spot, and George Washington, immediately striking an attitude,
+echoed the sentiment. He was, indeed, so transported with its beauty
+that he declared it reminded him of the duel he and the Major fought
+with Judge Carrington, which he positively declared, was "a jewel like
+you been read about," and he ended with the emphatic assertion, "Ef dese
+gent'mens jes plump each urr like we did de Judge dat evelin!----"
+A wave of the hand completed the period.
+
+The Major turned on him with a positive denial that he had ever even
+shot at the Judge, but George Washington unblushingly insisted that they
+had, and in fact had shot him twice. "We hit him fyah an' squar'."
+He levelled a pistol at a tree a few yards distant, and striking an
+attitude, squinted along the barrel with the air of an old hand at the
+weapon.
+
+The Major reiterated his statement and recalled the fact that, as he had
+told him and others a thousand times, they had shaken hands on the spot,
+which George Washington with easy adaptability admitted, but claimed
+that "ef he hadn't 'a'shook hands we'd 'a'shot him, sho! Dis here
+gent'man ain' gwine git off quite so easy," he declared, having already
+decided that Lawrence was to experience the deadly accuracy of his and
+Jeff's aim. He ended with an unexpected "Hie!" and gave a little lurch,
+which betrayed his condition, but immediately gathered himself together
+again.
+
+The Major looked at him quizzically as he stood pistols in hand in all
+the grandeur of his assumed character. The shadow of disappointment at
+the non-appearance of the Juel-lists which had rested on his round face,
+passed away, and he suddenly asked him which way he thought they had
+better stand. George Washington twisted his head on one side and, after
+striking a deliberative attitude and looking the plat well over, gave
+his judgment.
+
+"Ah--so," said the Major, and bade him step off ten paces.
+
+George Washington cocked his hat considerably more to the side, and
+with a wave of his hand, caught from the Major, took ten little mincing
+steps; and without turning, glanced back over his shoulder and inquired,
+"Ain' dat mighty fur apart?"
+
+The Major stated that it was necessary to give them some chance. And
+this appeared to satisfy him, for he admitted, "Yas, suh, dat's so, dee
+'bleeged to have a chance," and immediately marked a point a yard or
+more short of that to which he had stepped.'
+
+The Major then announced that he would load the pistols without waiting
+for the advent of the other gentlemen, as he "represented both of them."
+
+This was too much for so accomplished an adept at the Code as
+George Washington, and he immediately asserted that such a thing was
+preposterous, asking with some scorn, as he strutted up and down, "Who
+ever heah o' one gent'man ripresentin' two in a jewel, Marse Nat?"
+
+The Major bowed politely. "I was afraid it was a little incompatible,"
+he said.
+
+"Of cose it's incomfatible," said George Washington. "I ripresents one
+and you de t'urr. Dat's de way! I ripresents _Marse Jeff_. I know _he_
+ain' gwine fly de track. I done know him from a little lad. Dat urr
+gent'man I ain' know nuttin tall about. You ripresents him." He waved
+his hand in scorn.
+
+"Ah!" said the Major, as he set laboriously about loading the pistols,
+handling the balls somewhat ostentatiously.
+
+George Washington asserted, "I b'lieve I know mo' 'bout the Code 'n you
+does, Marse Nat."
+
+The Major looked at him quizzically as he rammed the ball down hard. He
+was so skilful that George at length added condescendingly, "But I see
+you ain' forgit how to handle dose things."
+
+The Major modestly admitted, as he put on a cap, that he used to be a
+pretty fair shot, and George Washington in an attitude as declarative of
+his pride in the occasion as his inebriated state admitted, was looking
+on with an expression of supreme complacency, when the Major levelled
+the weapon and sighted along its barrel. George Washington gave a jump
+which sent his cherished beaver bouncing twenty feet.
+
+"Look out, Marse Nat! Don' handle dat thing so keerless, please, suh."
+
+The Major explained that he was just trying its weight, and declared
+that it "came up beautifully;" to which George Washington after he had
+regained his damaged helmet assented with a somewhat unsteady voice. The
+Major looked at his watch and up at the trees, the tops of which were
+still brightened with the reflection from the sunset sky, and muttered
+an objurgation at the failure of the principals to appear, vowing that
+he never before knew of a similar case, and that at least he had not
+expected Jeff to fail to come to time. George Washington again proudly
+announced that he represented Jeff and that it was "that urr gent'man
+what had done fly de track, that urr gent'man what you ripre-sents,
+Marse Nat." He spoke with unveiled contempt.
+
+The Major suddenly turned on him.
+
+"George Washington!"
+
+"Suh!" He faced him.
+
+"If my principal fails to appear, I must take his place. The rule is,
+the second takes the place of his non-appearing principal."
+
+"In cose dat's de rule," declared George Washington as if it were
+his own suggestion; "de secon' tecks de place o' de non-repearin'
+sprinciple, and dat's what mecks me say what I does, dat man is done run
+away, suh, dat's what's de motter wid him. He's jes' nat-chelly skeered.
+He couldn' face dem things, suh." He nodded towards the pistols, his
+thumbs stuck in the armholes of his flowered velvet vest. As the Major
+bowed George Washington continued with a hiccough, "He ain' like we
+gent'mens whar's ust to 'em an' don' mine 'em no mo' 'n pop-crackers."
+
+"George Washington," said the Major, solemnly, with his eyes set
+on George Washington's velvet waistcoat, "take your choice of these
+pistols."
+
+The old duellist made his choice with due deliberation. The Major
+indicated with a wave of his hand one of the spots which George had
+marked for the expected duellists. "Take your stand there, sir." George
+Washington marched grandly up and planted himself with overwhelming
+dignity, whilst the Major, with the other pistol in his hand, quietly
+took his stand at the other position, facing him.
+
+"George," he said, "George Washington."
+
+"Suh." George Washington was never so imposing.
+
+"My principal, Mr. Pickering Lawrence, having failed to appear at the
+designated time and place to meet his engagement with Mr. Jefferson
+Lewis, I, as his second and representative, offer myself to take his
+place and assume any and all of his obligations."
+
+George Washington bowed grandly.
+
+"Yes, suh, of cose,--dat is accordin' to de Code," he said with
+solemnity befitting the occasion.
+
+The Major proceeded.
+
+"And your principal, Mr. Jefferson Lewis, having likewise failed to
+appear at the proper time, you take his place."
+
+"Suh," ejaculated George Washington, in sudden astonishment, turning his
+head slightly as if he were not certain he had heard correctly, "Marse
+Nat, jis say dat agin, please, suh?"
+
+The Major elevated his voice and advanced his pistol slightly.
+
+"I say, your principal, Mr Jefferson Lewis, having in like manner
+failed to put in his appearance at the time and place agreed on for the
+meeting, you as his representative take his place and assume all his
+obligations."
+
+"Oh! nor, suh, I don't!" exclaimed George Washington, shaking his head
+so violently that the demoralized beaver fell off again and rolled
+around unheeded. "I ain' bargain for no sich thing as dat. Nor, suh!"
+
+But the Major was obdurate.
+
+"Yes, sir, you do. When you accept the position of second, you assume
+all the obligations attaching to that position, and----" the Major
+advanced his pistol--"I shall shoot at you."
+
+George Washington took a step towards him. "Oh! goodness! Marse Nat, you
+ain' gwine do nuttin like dat, is you!" His jaw had fallen, and when
+the Major bowed with deep solemnity and replied, "Yes, sir, and you can
+shoot at me," he burst out.
+
+"Marse Nat, I don' warn' shoot at you. What I warn' shoot at you for? I
+ain' got nuttin 'ginst you on de fatal uth. You been good master to me
+all my days an'----" The Major cut short this sincere tribute to his
+virtues, by saying: "Very well, you can shoot or not as you please. I
+shall aim at that waistcoat." He raised his pistol and partially closed
+one eye. George Washington dropped on his knees.
+
+"Oh, Marse Nat, please, suh. What you want to shoot me for? Po' ole
+good-for-nuttin George Washington, whar ain' nuver done you no harm"
+(the Major's eye glanced over his blue coat and flowered vest; George
+saw it), "but jes steal you' whiskey an' you' clo'es an'--Marse Nat, ef
+you le' me off dis time I oon nuver steal no mo' o' you' clo'es, er you'
+whiskey, er nuttin. Marse Nat, you wouldn' shoot po' ole good-for-nuttin
+George Washington, whar fotch' up wid you?"
+
+"Yes, sir, I would," declared the Major, sternly. "I am going to give
+the word, and--" he raised the pistol once more. George Washington began
+to creep toward him. "Oh, Lordy! Marse Nat, please, suh, don' pint dat
+thing at me dat away--hit's loaded! Oh, Lordy!" he shouted. The Major
+brandished his weapon fiercely.
+
+"Stand up, sir, and stop that noise--one--two--three," he counted, but
+George Washington was flat on the ground.
+
+"Oh, Marse Nat, please, suh, don't. I'se feared o' dem things." A sudden
+idea struck him. "Marse Nat, you is about to loss a mighty valuable
+nigger," he pleaded; but the Major simply shouted to him to stand up and
+not disgrace the gentleman he represented. George Washington seized on
+the word; it was his final hope.
+
+"Marse Nat, I don't ripresent nobody, suh, nobody at all, suh. I ain'
+nuttin but a good-for-nuttin, wuthless nigger, whar brung de box down
+heah cuz you tole me to, suh, dat's all. An' I'll teek off you' coat an'
+weskit dis minit ef you'll jis le' me git up off de groun', suh." Jeff
+suddenly appeared. George lay spraddled out on the ground as flat as
+a field lark, but at Jeff's appearance, he sprang behind him. Jeff, in
+amazement, was inquiring the meaning of all the noise he had heard, when
+Lawrence appeared on the scene. The Major explained briefly.
+
+"It was that redoubtable champion bellowing. As our principals failed to
+appear on time, he being-an upholder of the Code, suggested that we were
+bound to take the places respectively of those we represented----"
+
+"Nor, suh, I don' ripresent nobody," interrupted George Washington; but
+at a look from the Major he dodged again behind Jeff. The Major, with
+his eye on Lawrence, said:
+
+"Well, gentlemen, let's to business. We have but a few minutes of
+daylight left. I presume you are ready?"
+
+Both gentlemen bowed, and the Major proceeded to explain that he had
+loaded both pistols himself with precisely similar charges, and that
+they were identical in trigger, sight, drift, and weight, and had been
+tested on a number of occasions, when they had proved to be "excellent
+weapons and remarkably accurate in their fire." The young men bowed
+silently; but when he turned suddenly and called "George Washington,"
+that individual nearly jumped out of his coat. The Major ordered him
+to measure ten paces, which, after first giving notice that he "didn't
+ripre-sent nobody," he proceeded to do, taking a dozen or more gigantic
+strides, and hastily retired again behind the safe bulwark of Jeff's
+back. As he stood there in his shrunken condition, he about as much
+resembled the pompous and arrogant duellist of a half-hour previous as
+a wet and bedraggled turkey does the strutting, gobbling cock of the
+flock. The Major, with an objurgation at him for stepping "as if he had
+on seven league boots," stepped off the distance himself, explaining
+to Lawrence that ten paces was about the best distance, as it was
+sufficiently distant to "avoid the unpleasantness of letting a gentleman
+feel that he was within touching distance," and yet "near enough to
+avoid useless mutilation."
+
+Taking out a coin, he announced that he would toss up for the choice
+of position, or rather would make a "disinterested person" do so, and,
+holding out his hand, he called George Washington to toss it up. There
+was no response until the Major shouted, "George Washington, where are
+you--you rascal!"
+
+"Heah me, suh," said George Washington, in a quavering voice, rising
+from the ground, where he had thrown himself to avoid any stray bullets,
+and coming slowly forward, with a pitiful, "Please, suh, don' p'int dat
+thing dis away."
+
+The Major gave him the coin, with an order to toss it up, in a tone so
+sharp that it made him jump; and he began to turn it over nervously
+in his hand, which was raised a little above his shoulder. In his
+manipulation it slipped out of his hand and disappeared. George
+Washington in a dazed way looked in his hand, and then on the ground.
+"Hi! whar' hit?" he muttered, getting down on his knees and searching in
+the grass. "Dis heah place is evil-sperited."
+
+The Major called to him to hurry up, but he was too intent on solving
+the problem of the mysterious disappearance of the quarter.
+
+"I ain' nuver like dis graveyard bein' right heah," he murmured. "Marse
+Nat, don' you have no mo' to do wid dis thing."
+
+The Major's patience was giving out. "George Washington, you rascal!" he
+shouted, "do you think I can wait all night for you to pull up all the
+grass in the garden? Take the quarter out of your pocket, sir!"
+
+"'Tain' in my pocket, suh," quavered George Washington, feeling there
+instinctively, however, when the coin slipped down his sleeve into
+his hand again. This was too much for him. "Hi! befo' de king," he
+exclaimed, "how it git in my pocket? Oh, Marster! de devil is 'bout
+heah, sho'! Marse Nat, you fling it up, suh. I ain' nuttin but a po'
+sinful nigger. Oh, Lordy!" And handing over the quarter tremulously,
+George Washington flung himself flat on the ground and, as a sort of
+religious incantation, began to chant in a wild, quavering tone the
+funeral hymn:
+
+"Hark! from the tombs a doleful sound."
+
+The Major tossed up and posted the duellists, and with much solemnity
+handed them the pistols, which both the two young men received quietly.
+They were pale, but perfectly steady. The Major then asked them,
+"Gentlemen, are you ready?" whilst at the omnious sound George
+Washington's voice in tremulous falsetto, struck in,
+
+     "Ye-ee--so-ons off meenn co-ome view-ew the-ee groun',
+     Wher-ere you-ou m--uss' shor-ort-ly lie."
+
+They announced themselves ready just as George Washington, looking
+up from the ground, where he, like the "so-ons off meenn," was lying,
+discovered that he was not more than thirty yards out of the line of
+aim, and with a muttered "Lordy!" began to crawl away.
+
+There was a confused murmur from the direction of the path which led to
+the house, and the Major shouted, "Fire--one--two--three."
+
+Both young men, facing each other and looking steadily in each other's
+eyes, with simultaneous action fired their pistols into the air.
+
+At the report a series of shrieks rang out from the shrubbery towards
+the house, whilst George Washington gave a wild yell and began to kick
+like a wounded bull, bellowing that he was "killed--killed."
+
+The Major had just walked up to the duellists, and, relieving them of
+their weapons, had with a comprehensive wave of the hand congratulated
+them on their courage and urged them to shake hands, which they were
+in the act of doing, when the shrubbery parted and Margaret, followed
+closely by Rose and by Miss Jemima panting behind, rushed in upon them,
+crying at the tops of their voices, "Stop! Stop!"
+
+The two young ladies addressed themselves respectively to Jeff and
+Lawrence, and both were employing all their eloquence when Miss Jemima
+appeared. Her eye caught the prostrate form of George Washington, who
+lay flat on his face kicking and groaning at intervals. She pounced upon
+the Major with so much vehemence that he was almost carried away by the
+sudden onset.
+
+"Oh! You wretch! What have you done?" she panted, scarcely able to
+articulate.
+
+"Done, madam?" asked the Major, gravely.
+
+"Yes; what have you done to _that_ poor miserable creature--_there!_"
+She actually seized the Major and whirled him around with one hand,
+whilst with the other she pointed at the prostrate and now motionless
+George Washington.
+
+"What have I been doing with him?"
+
+"Yes, with _him_. Have you been carrying out your barbarous rite on his
+inoffensive person!" she gasped.
+
+The Major's eye lit up.
+
+"Yes, madam," he said, taking up one of the pistols, "and I rejoice that
+you are here to witness its successful termination. George Washington
+has been selected as the victim this year; his monstrous lies, his
+habitual drunken worthlessness, his roguery, culminating in the open
+theft to-day of my best coat and waistcoat, marked him naturally as the
+proper sacrifice. I had not the heart to cheat any one by selling him
+to him. I was therefore constrained to shoot him. He was, with his usual
+triflingness, not killed at the first fire, although he appears to be
+dead. I will now finish him by putting a ball into his back; observe
+the shot." He advanced, and cocking the pistol, "click--click," stuck
+it carefully in the middle of George Washington's fat back. Miss Jemima
+gave a piercing shriek and flung herself on the Major to seize the
+pistol; but she might have spared herself; for George Washington
+suddenly bounded from the ground and, with one glance at the levelled
+weapon, rushed crashing through the shrubbery, followed by the laughter
+of the young people, the shrieks of Miss Jemima, and the shouts of the
+Major for him to come back and let him kill him.
+
+That evening, when Margaret, seated on the Major's knee, was rummaging
+in his vest pockets for any loose change which might be there (which by
+immemorial custom belonged to her), she suddenly pulled out two large,
+round bullets. The Major seized them; but it was too late. When,
+however, he finally obtained possession of them he presented them to
+Miss Jemima, and solemnly requested her to preserve them as mementoes of
+George Washington's miraculous escape.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of "George Washington's" Last Duel, by 
+Thomas Nelson Page
+
+*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK "GEORGE WASHINGTON'S" LAST DUEL ***
+
+***** This file should be named 23013.txt or 23013.zip *****
+This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
+        http://www.gutenberg.org/2/3/0/1/23013/
+
+Produced by David Widger
+
+Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions
+will be renamed.
+
+Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no
+one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation
+(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without
+permission and without paying copyright royalties.  Special rules,
+set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to
+copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to
+protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark.  Project
+Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you
+charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission.  If you
+do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the
+rules is very easy.  You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose
+such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and
+research.  They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do
+practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks.  Redistribution is
+subject to the trademark license, especially commercial
+redistribution.
+
+
+
+*** START: FULL LICENSE ***
+
+THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE
+PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK
+
+To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free
+distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work
+(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project
+Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at
+http://gutenberg.org/license).
+
+
+Section 1.  General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic works
+
+1.A.  By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to
+and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property
+(trademark/copyright) agreement.  If you do not agree to abide by all
+the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy
+all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession.
+If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the
+terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or
+entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.
+
+1.B.  "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark.  It may only be
+used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who
+agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement.  There are a few
+things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works
+even without complying with the full terms of this agreement.  See
+paragraph 1.C below.  There are a lot of things you can do with Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement
+and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works.  See paragraph 1.E below.
+
+1.C.  The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation"
+or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works.  Nearly all the individual works in the
+collection are in the public domain in the United States.  If an
+individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are
+located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from
+copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative
+works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg
+are removed.  Of course, we hope that you will support the Project
+Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by
+freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of
+this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with
+the work.  You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by
+keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project
+Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others.
+
+1.D.  The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern
+what you can do with this work.  Copyright laws in most countries are in
+a constant state of change.  If you are outside the United States, check
+the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement
+before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or
+creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project
+Gutenberg-tm work.  The Foundation makes no representations concerning
+the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United
+States.
+
+1.E.  Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:
+
+1.E.1.  The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate
+access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently
+whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the
+phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed,
+copied or distributed:
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+1.E.2.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived
+from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is
+posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied
+and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees
+or charges.  If you are redistributing or providing access to a work
+with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the
+work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1
+through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the
+Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or
+1.E.9.
+
+1.E.3.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted
+with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution
+must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional
+terms imposed by the copyright holder.  Additional terms will be linked
+to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the
+permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.
+
+1.E.4.  Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this
+work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm.
+
+1.E.5.  Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this
+electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without
+prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with
+active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm License.
+
+1.E.6.  You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary,
+compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any
+word processing or hypertext form.  However, if you provide access to or
+distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than
+"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version
+posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org),
+you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a
+copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon
+request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other
+form.  Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.
+
+1.E.7.  Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying,
+performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works
+unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.
+
+1.E.8.  You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing
+access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided
+that
+
+- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from
+     the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method
+     you already use to calculate your applicable taxes.  The fee is
+     owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he
+     has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the
+     Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.  Royalty payments
+     must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you
+     prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax
+     returns.  Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and
+     sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the
+     address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to
+     the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation."
+
+- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies
+     you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he
+     does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+     License.  You must require such a user to return or
+     destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium
+     and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of
+     Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any
+     money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the
+     electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days
+     of receipt of the work.
+
+- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free
+     distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+1.E.9.  If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set
+forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from
+both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael
+Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark.  Contact the
+Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.
+
+1.F.
+
+1.F.1.  Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable
+effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread
+public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm
+collection.  Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain
+"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or
+corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual
+property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a
+computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by
+your equipment.
+
+1.F.2.  LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right
+of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all
+liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal
+fees.  YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT
+LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE
+PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3.  YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE
+TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE
+LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR
+INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH
+DAMAGE.
+
+1.F.3.  LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a
+defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can
+receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a
+written explanation to the person you received the work from.  If you
+received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with
+your written explanation.  The person or entity that provided you with
+the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a
+refund.  If you received the work electronically, the person or entity
+providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to
+receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund.  If the second copy
+is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further
+opportunities to fix the problem.
+
+1.F.4.  Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth
+in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER
+WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO
+WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.
+
+1.F.5.  Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied
+warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages.
+If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the
+law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be
+interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by
+the applicable state law.  The invalidity or unenforceability of any
+provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.
+
+1.F.6.  INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the
+trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone
+providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance
+with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production,
+promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works,
+harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees,
+that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do
+or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm
+work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any
+Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause.
+
+
+Section  2.  Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of
+electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers
+including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers.  It exists
+because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from
+people in all walks of life.
+
+Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the
+assistance they need, is critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's
+goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will
+remain freely available for generations to come.  In 2001, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure
+and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations.
+To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
+and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4
+and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org.
+
+
+Section 3.  Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive
+Foundation
+
+The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit
+501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the
+state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal
+Revenue Service.  The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification
+number is 64-6221541.  Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at
+http://pglaf.org/fundraising.  Contributions to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent
+permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws.
+
+The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S.
+Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered
+throughout numerous locations.  Its business office is located at
+809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email
+business@pglaf.org.  Email contact links and up to date contact
+information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official
+page at http://pglaf.org
+
+For additional contact information:
+     Dr. Gregory B. Newby
+     Chief Executive and Director
+     gbnewby@pglaf.org
+
+
+Section 4.  Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide
+spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of
+increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be
+freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest
+array of equipment including outdated equipment.  Many small donations
+($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt
+status with the IRS.
+
+The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating
+charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United
+States.  Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a
+considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up
+with these requirements.  We do not solicit donations in locations
+where we have not received written confirmation of compliance.  To
+SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any
+particular state visit http://pglaf.org
+
+While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we
+have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition
+against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who
+approach us with offers to donate.
+
+International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make
+any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from
+outside the United States.  U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.
+
+Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation
+methods and addresses.  Donations are accepted in a number of other
+ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations.
+To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate
+
+
+Section 5.  General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works.
+
+Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm
+concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared
+with anyone.  For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project
+Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.
+
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed
+editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S.
+unless a copyright notice is included.  Thus, we do not necessarily
+keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.
+
+
+Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility:
+
+     http://www.gutenberg.org
+
+This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm,
+including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary
+Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to
+subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.